1

ALLOND(R)A
by Gina Femia
 2

Folks:

ALLONDA, 17, quiet but fierce, deep, a fighter, Female, Latinx

TAY, 17, not quiet, just fierce, an artist, says what she means, loud, the most powerful of the
group Female, Non-white

JUSTICE, 35, worn out and tired, still has some sparks of playfulness but not much, a dreamer
whose dreams are singed, Female, Black

KING, 17, braggadocios, thinks he’s all that, kind of a stud, the most serious-minded of the
group, Male, Non-white

PRETZEL, 17, not athletically inclined due to his asthma, funny (good comedic timing), has a
great announcer voice, Male, Race neutral

SPIDER, 17, the goofiest one of the bunch who has moments of deepness, geek to the max,
doesn’t look as physically fit as King but is powerful, Male, Latinx

MIKE, 40, rough around some soft edges, can go from 0-60, intense but charismatic, Male, Race
neutral

*Non-white means any race that does not include white.

Race neutral means any race including white.

Where’s:

The playground in the projects at Coney Island.

Justice’s home – the living room and kitchen

and once, the beach.

When:

2015

Note:

Freddy Padilla has provided dramaturgical guidance and is the Cultural Consultant for these
drafts. He also provided Spanish translations as well as the graffiti artwork included in this
script.

Cover photo is attributed to Transcendent Championship Wrestling.

 3

The List, Kilroys, 2019

Winner: The Leah Ryan Prize for Emerging Female Playwrights, 2018

Runner-up: The Yale Drama Prize, 2019

Runner-up: Jane Chambers Award, 2018

Finalist: Otis Guernsey New Voices in the American Theatre Award, 2019
Finalist: Blue Ink Playwriting Award, 2018
Finalist: Doric Wilson Award for Independent Playwrights, 2017

Semifinalist: Bay Area Playwrights Festival, 2018

“We were rough around the edges, but that didn’t make us worthless.
Being a little damaged does not make someone broken.”
– AJ Mendez (aka AJ Lee), Crazy is my Superpower

For Kimberlee.
You got this.
 4

THIS IS WHERE WE BEGIN:

[A playground in the projects, The Coney Island Houses to be exact, one of the areas that has
mad padding for its ground, probably near the swingsets or the junglegym. A couple of
teenagers are wrestling. Like, full out, in the middle of a match, wrestling.
PRETZEL is the commentator, he stands to the side, commentating on what’s going on.
Which is that TAY is wrestling KING.
SPIDER stands on the side, using his phone to half-heartedly record. Let’s listen, shall we?]

PRETZEL
Yo, yo, yo what’s up, this is your boy Pretzel from Rize Restling, coming at you live from the
Coney Island Houses with the match of the century, the match our lifetimes, the match of the
summer, and it ain’t even fully summer yet!
Gimme some noise!

[There’s nobody there so PRETZEL does the cheering]

PRETZEL
Yeahhh, yeahhhh kiss the commentator, kiss the commentator, he’s doing so good

TAY
Yo, you callin’ this shit or what?

KING
Yeah man, come on

SPIDER
Yeah, let’s go, I want a turn

PRETZEL
What this shit takes time, everyone loves the commentator

TAY
Nobody gives a shit about the commentator
I wanna wrestle, I got some sick shit I wanna try

SPIDER
What another headlock

TAY
I think I got the Pile Driver down

KING
You do not
 5

TAY
Do too!

SPIDER
Oh shit, wait

TAY
What

SPIDER
Start over, I forgot to press record

KING
Jesus, Spider

SPIDER
I’m not a videographer!

KING
We gotta get this shit uploaded to Youtube!

PRETZEL
Man, calm down, ain’t nobody watching, our last upload got three views

KING
We can’t just upload shitty content, our shit’s gotta get better not worse -

TAY
Yo Spider, get this –

[TAY knocks KING onto his ass. It’s not a fair move and pretty reckless but hey, that’s TAY]

PRETZEL & SPIDER

Oh, shit!

TAY
Just call it!

KING
The fuck, Tay

PRETZEL
And the feud is on, Tay slams King to the ground, knockin’ the wind right outta him

KING
I wasn’t ready!
 6

TAY
Whateva, you know you fine

SPIDER
Man, I hate getting stuck behind the camera, we really need a fourth
Unless you’re gonna start wrestling

PRETZEL
Um, you know I have asthma

[KING comes up, grabs TAY, throws her around his shoulders, she twists her body so it’s
wrapped around him in a Guillotine Chokehold.]

PRETZEL
Oh shit and they call me Pretzel.

[ALLONDA appears, watching from above.]

TAY
Call the fucking match!

PRETZEL
Right, Tay wiggles out, puts King in submission, is King gonna tap out?!

KING
Fuck no

TAY
Just tap out

KING
You’re supposed to lose this time! You said

TAY
Tap out tap out

SPIDER
SOMEONE tap out, I wanna wrestle!

KING
We need a fucking Ref

[He starts to spin, trying to get her off him]

PRETZEL
Annnnd KING stubbornly helicopters Tay around, she got him in a Guillotine Chokehold
 7

but he ain’t going down so easy

but neither is Tay,
she’s holding on,
she’s holding on,
she’s holding

[He spins and spins and spins as we get sucked into Allonda’s fantasy and we’re no longer in a
playground, we’re in a professional arena and there’s Music, music, music! Flashing lights and
awesomness as a commentator’s voice BOOMS]

COMMENTATOR VOICE
Annnnd now, innnntroooducing the match of the century, the match of our lifetime, give it up for
TAY!!

[TAY comes out to something like Angel Haze; gritty, New York style hip hop. She’s the heel,
wearing a leather outfit now.]

COMMENTATOR VOICE
And her opponent, ALLLLONNNDAAAA

[ALLONDA comes out to something like Snow tha Product, a more poppy, party hip hop,
cartwheeling down the aisle. Everyone loves her. She raises her hands to the sky, soaking up
the cheers.
Turns to face TAY when - ]
 8

SCENE I
in the tower

[Lights change suddenly to a living room. It’s nice enough but worn as fuck. ALLONDA sits in
the corner by a window, her head out it and trying desperately to catch a breeze, watching the
wrestling from her window. We can hear the 4 shouting from outside.
It’s hot. Like, real hot. And it’s only May.
The door opens and JUSTICE enters. She’s obviously just come from work; her clothes have
that end of day “please get this shit off of me” look to them. Kicks off her heels, pulls her shirt
out from her pencil skirt, throws her purse on the couch.
ALLONDA doesn’t look at her. She’s too busy looking outside.
JUSTICE notices a smell. Makes a face.
Looks over to ALLONDA.]

JUSTICE
Your pussy’s smelling ripe, hun.

ALLONDA
No it don’t

JUSTICE
Then why I smell it from here?

ALLONDA
It ain’t me.

JUSTICE
Then who? I don’t see nobody else.

ALLONDA
I dunno! The garbage or something.
Didn’t take it out.

JUSTICE
What I told you about scrubbing, you gotta peel the lips apart and get all up in there

ALLONDA
I know

JUSTICE
Gotta use a washcloth

ALLONDA
Leave me alone

JUSTICE
 9

You did your homework?

ALLONDA
No.

JUSTICE
You waiting for an invitation?

ALLONDA
Yes.

JUSTICE
Rub my feet?

ALLONDA
I’m busy

JUSTICE
with what

ALLONDA
stuff

JUSTICE
C’mon, please, you get all the knots out good.

[ALLONDA takes one last look out the window before she walks over to JUSTICE.
She takes JUSTICE’s feet in her hands and starts to work out the knots.
There’s silence for a bit.]

JUSTICE
Judge had me on my feet all day.

[No response]

JUSTICE
You heard?
Judge had me on my feet all day.

ALLONDA
Yeah.

JUSTICE
Yeah, every time I went to sit he called me over “Justice”, in his nasally-ass voice, “Justice, I
need you to go shred these documents, Justice, I need you to go get me a coffee”, just waiting for
the day for when he’s like Justice, I’m gonna need you to wipe my ass, right, and then he had me
 10

delivering shit all over the City, all over the goddamn City, I had to go to Queens, down by the
warehouses? Closest train left me ten minutes away! You heard? Ten minutes I had to walk
from where I got off the train to the office, Long Island City up and coming my ass, then why
there ain’t closer trains then? Up and coming’s codeword for cheap.
No seats on the train and nobody bothering to get up and offer me none, even though I’m lugging
boxes

ALLONDA
Thought you have a cart

JUSTICE
Yeah and so what I gotta cart, like that makes it any easier, no, it don’t, I gotta carry the cart up
and down the stairs too, don’t I
Swear if I sat down for like ten minutes the whole day that woulda been a lot. I ain’t moving
now that I got home, I swear, I ain’t gonna move.
Why didn’t you do your homework yet?

ALLONDA
I was busy

JUSTICE
Better finish that shit before you go to bed. Only a month of school left, don’t think I don’t
know things, I know things, I read the pamphlets from the PTA even though you don’t give’em
to me.

ALLONDA
Don’t go through my shit

JUSTICE
Til you bought it, it ain’t your shit

[ALLONDA opens her mouth to argue but closes it. Not worth the fight.
They slip into silence once more. ALLONDA starts working on the other foot.
JUSTICE raises her arm, sniffs her armpits. Wipes them with her hand. Smells her hand. Not
bad, the deodorant is working.]

JUSTICE
We’ll try a different kinda soap for you.

ALLONDA
I don’t smell, Justice.

JUSTICE
Already getting hot out there. Gonna be one hell of a summer.
 11

ALLONDA
We should get AC

JUSTICE
We got fans

ALLONDA
Everybody got AC

JUSTICE
So go live with one’a them.

ALLONDA
Your feet stink

JUSTICE
‘Course they stink, they dying, I was dragging them around all day, but guess what, ain’t nobody
smelled’em ‘til right now. You walking around all day wearing cotton, you can smell anything
through cotton, may as well be wearing air, who knows who smelled you

ALLONDA
I don’t stink!

JUSTICE
Girl, I can smell your pussy, it’s rank, ain’t no other smell but for it. You got your nasties?

[ALLONDA’s mortified. She drops JUSTICE’s foot, gets up to leave]

JUSTICE
Hey, where’re you going?!

ALLONDA
To wash my pussy and do my homework!
What you think?

JUSTICE
Hold up

[She digs deep into her cleavage, pulls out a few crumpled bills]

JUSTICE
Go grab a couple of slices and a liter of Pepsi.

ALLONDA
I don’t want to
 12

JUSTICE
What, go to Tony’s they got AC
All we got in the fridge is the American cheese

ALLONDA
We got some eggs

JUSTICE
I’m saving those for Saturday

ALLONDA
For Mike?

JUSTICE
Mind your business

ALLONDA
Mike smells like a cigar factory

JUSTICE
Mike smells good

ALLONDA
like a farting cigar factory that got caught in an axe body spray cheddar cheese explosion

JUSTICE
That’s just what men smell like

ALLONDA
Shit’s nasty

JUSTICE
you get used to it, then you like it

ALLONDA
and he’s always telling those corny-ass jokes, bad enough he stinks literally, his jokes stink
figuratively

JUSTICE
Hey, take the money and go get the pizza, I’m hungry.
You can take a shower when you get back.

[ALLONDA rolls her eyes, grabs the money. Makes a face]

ALLONDA
It’s wet
 13

JUSTICE
Use your own money then.

[ALLONDA rolls her eyes, takes the money, puts it in her pocket]

JUSTICE
Don’t forget the liter.

ALLONDA
I know.

JUSTICE
Pepsi, not coke

ALLONDA
Coke’s nasty

JUSTICE
I know.
Hey. Gimme a kiss.
[ALLONDA goes over to JUSTICE, kisses her.
It’s nice.
ALLONDA begins to leave. Stops]

ALLONDA
Hair dye’s on sale at the CVS

JUSTICE
I said no

ALLONDA
Yeah but -

JUSTICE
Nobody’s gonna give you a job if you got pink hair

ALLONDA
School’s not out for a month and Becky from B3 got pink hair and she works at the CVS -

JUSTICE
You’ll look stupid with pink hair

ALLONDA
But Becky -
 14

JUSTICE
Becky’s fully grown, she can look fully stupid if she wants.

ALLONDA
I’m seventeen!

JUSTICE
And I’m telling you no.
Get the pizza, I’m hungry.
Been on my feet all day.

[ALLONDA lingers for a moment, considering an argument. She opens her mouth to say
something. Closes it. Just leaves.
Not worth the fight.
The sound of the crowd and music follows her as she leaves
 15

SCENE II
introducing

[The arena again. I mean, the playground, the next day.

PRETZEL and SPIDER and KING.
SPIDER is laying on the padding under the only patch of shade, reading a Spider-Man comic.
PRETZEL’s practicing announcing]
PRETZEL
IIIIIInnnnntroducing
[clear throat]
iiiiNNNnnntroducing
[clears throat]
introDUUUUcing
.
Which one sounds better?

KING
What?

PRETZEL
Which one you think sounds better?

KING
Man, I wasn’t paying attention.
They all sound the same.

PRETZEL
Well, they’re all completely different.
So.

SPIDER
Sound like noise to me

PRETZEL
Nah

SPIDER
air pollution

[ALLONDA is walking past, she’s got her backpack on, coming back from school.
Stops, starts to eavesdrop]

PRETZEL
Okokok, just listen –
listen, ok, listen -
[clear throat]
 16

IIIIInnnnntroducing
iiiiNNNnnntroducing
introDUUUUcing
.
Well?

KING
The fuck is Tay

PRETZEL
Oh, come on!

KING
I wanna get started

PRETZEL
Why you gotta be like that?

KING
What I’m being like

PRETZEL
Ornery and shit

ALLONDA
The second one.

[They all look at her.

She gets shy]

ALLONDA
The second one sounds better, more like a real announcer, kinda

[She starts to leave]

PRETZEL
I knew it

SPIDER
Man, what you knew, then why you been asking for a half an hour

PRETZEL
just like Howard Finkel

[ALLONDA stops.
Turns back to them]
 17

ALLONDA
Uh, more like Justin Roberts.

[They all look at her like what?]

ALLONDA
He got that gravel thing to him?
You know?
I mean, like yeah Howard Finkel’s the all-time best but Justin Roberts is kinda more interesting
to listen to actually ‘cause you never know what decibel his voice is gonna dip into, he be like
innNNNNtroduuciiinnnng, like down there,
and Howard Finkel’s got those ROUNDed tones, more like
intrOOOOOOdUUUUcing
You know?

[A pause]

KING
Who the fuck are you again

SPIDER
The fuck is that King

KING
What?

SPIDER
you’re being RUDE

ALLONDA
Allonda.
I’m Allonda and.
I.
seen you from my window?
Wrestling.

KING
You stalking us, Alabama

ALLONDA
No, you’re just loud.
Hard not to look.
Spend more time arguing than wrestling anyway.

KING
No we don’t
 18

SPIDER
Yes we do

ALLONDA
And you don’t wrestle

PRETZEL
I got asthma.
It could kill me.

ALLONDA
And so it’s really just you two and that girl I seen with you doing all the wrestling

KING
Yeah? So?

ALLONDA
Well, I dunno, I’m no expert but maybe if you had another pair to put in the ring, maybe you’d
get more done, maybe then you’d have more than one video up on Youtube, I dunno.

[The guys stop. Look at ALLONDA]

PRETZEL
You seen our Youtube?

ALLONDA
Yeah
I mean, it took a minute to find you, ‘til I figured out you spell Rize with a Z and Wrestling
without a W but -

SPIDER
Did you watch our last video three times?

ALLONDA
I dunno
Maybe

[A pause where the guys size her up in a very non-creepy way.]

PRETZEL
I’m Pretzel

KING
His name’s really Seymour
 19

PRETZEL
Yo, shut up Alvin

KING
That ain’t my name!

ALLONDA
It’s King

[They look at her]

ALLONDA
And you’re Spider

SPIDER
Yeah, but not like the bug.
Like Spider-Man, I just took off the man.

ALLONDA
That’s cool.

SPIDER
Yeah, he’s the best superhero so just kinda made sense, ya know.

KING
We’re pretty serious about wrestling

ALLONDA
I’m pretty serious about it, too

KING
Nah, but I mean, we’re for real serious about it, this ain’t just some after school special type-a
club, this shit’s for real.

[SPIDER and PRETZEL kinda roll their eyes as KING keeps going]

KING
We’re gonna be doing live shows all summer, we’re just hyping them on Youtube now so by the
time summer really hits, we got a crowd, we ain’t playing around

[ALLONDA crosses her arms, doesn’t back down]

ALLONDA
Yeah, that sounds legit.

[KING crosses his arms]

 20

KING
How do we know you’re even cool

ALLONDA
‘Cause.
I am cool.

KING
I bet you’re basic

ALLONDA
I am not basic

KING
Yeah right

ALLONDA
I’m the least basic, the most unbasic -

KING
Who’s your favorite wrestler?

[ALLONDA gives him a look]

ALLONDA
You think you know who I’m gonna say

KING
Nah,
I know I know who you’re gonna say

[Challenge accepted]

ALLONDA
Okay.
Okay, cool. Great.

KING & ALLONDA

John Cena

PRETZEL & SPIDER

FAAAA/AAAAAKE

ALLONDA
is what you think I’m gonna say!
 21

PRETZEL, SPIDER & KING

Whaaat?

ALLONDA
Because he’s so popular, he’s the face of WWE right now, like people who don’t even know
wrestling know John Cena, he’s all over merchandise, he’s even a movie star now, out there
tryin’ to be The Rock

PRETZEL
Yeah and ain’t nobody can be The Rock but The Rock

SPIDER
He actually just goes by Dwayne Johnson now

PRETZEL
Really?

SPIDER
Yeah, I mean, he’s a legitimate actor, like what you think, they gonna be like And the Oscar goes
to The Rock

PRETZEL
Uh, like The Rock’s gonna win an Oscar

SPIDER
The Rock CAN SO win an Oscar!

PRETZEL
He so can’t!

KING
It doesn’t matter!

[TAY rolls up on the group, behind ALLONDA, listens]

ALLONDA
And yeah, I mean, it’s undeniable that John Cena’s good, he’s real good, kids love him and cheer
for him, grown ass men pretend to hate him but secretly, they love him and cheer for him on the
inside, in the deep part of themselves that never grows up, they cheer for him and his larger than
life optimistic shit, I mean, come on.
But, I’m not gonna say John Cena. ‘Cause that’s so Basic.
And hey, I’m not gonna say Triple H or Steve Austin or even The Rock because this ain’t the 90s
– though that was a particularly great era, let’s be honest.
And even though Undertaker is an All Time Great – maybe the All Time Best –
 22

SPIDER
Man, fuck Brock Lesner
Pour one out for the Taker

[PRETZEL pours out some of his cherry Gatorade and the others (including TAY) do a solemn
hand movement before she continues]

ALLONDA
but I’m not gonna say him either because you didn’t ask me for that, you didn’t ask me who the
All Time Great is, you didn’t ask me what the greatest era was, you asked me who my favorite
is. And, you know what, if I had said John Cena, that woulda been fine ‘cause, funny thing
about favorites? they can be basic and they don’t gotta be the best or the greatest or even good,
they just gotta be your favorite.

TAY
So?

[ALLONDA turns, startled.]

TAY
Who the fuck’s your favorite.

[ALLONDA recovers.
Pauses for effect.
It’s a little too long]

ALLONDA
Eddie Guerrero

[Beat. They consider this.

Hashtag Respect.]

SPIDER
Nice

TAY
That’s legit

[PRETZEL starts a slow clap.

TAY elbows him
SPIDER turns to the group]

SPIDER
We do need a fourth.
 23

TAY
Can you wrestle?

[They all look at her]

TAY
Sure, it’s one thing to know about wrestling, but it’s another thing to be able to actually wrestle,
we don’t wanna take on an Eva Marie.

SPIDER
Tay’s got a point

ALLONDA
[highly offended]
I am NOT.
Eva Marie.

SPIDER
But you could be

ALLONDA
I’m sorry, do I look like a modelwrestlerwannabeonlyinitforthemagazinecover-girl?

PRETZEL
We literally know nothing about you so

KING
Prove it.

TAY
Yeah, let’s go.

[She stands expectedly.]

KING
Why you?

TAY
Because.
I’m the leader

KING
In what world

TAY
In the real world
 24

SPIDER
We’re more like a democracy

PRETZEL
Democracy’s got a president, though

TAY
Exactly and I’m President of the group

KING
Dunno what kinda rigged election bullshit that was but –

SPIDER
God, Allonda, you choose.
Who do you wanna go against?

[They all look at her.

She points to TAY.]

ALLONDA
Let’s go.

[She moves to the center of the ring.]

TAY
Set us up, Pretzel.

PRETZEL
innnTROducing the undefeated champion, coming at you from Coney Island,
give it up for TAY

[TAY pretends to enter, holds her arms up to the sky.

SPIDER half-heartedly claps and gives a pathetic woo.
She gives him a look like Try Harder!]

PRETZEL
and her opponent
All the way from Brooklyn, New York
ALLONDA!

[ALLONDA is much more shy than TAY. She kinda holds up one arm and does a quick
awkward wave that embarrasses all of them. PRETZEL clears his throat]

PRETZEL
The following contest is scheduled for One Fall
 25

ALLONDA
Wait

TAY
What

ALLONDA
How’m I supposed to know what to do?

TAY
Just follow me

PRETZEL
At the sound of the bell, we’ll begin!
[DING!]

[The women run into one another, into a sloppy Lock Up. They struggle for a bit.]

PRETZEL
All right, looks like Tay and Allonda go immediately into a lock up, each one trying to dominate
over the other.

[They struggle to break out of it, neither really able to do anything else for a moment.]

PRETZEL
annnd it appears like they’re stuck or something, I dunno.

[TAY grabs ALLONDA into a chokehold and whispers something in her ear. ALLONDA nods,
wiggles out and carefully takes TAY down in a Knee Drop. TAY sells the hell outta it]

PRETZEL
OH SHIT, Allonda takes Tay down in a Knee Drop, that’s gonna hurt in the morning

TAY
[in character]
Oh, that’s all you got?

ALLONDA
Uh, no, no
I got more than that!

TAY
Yeah, you gonna have to do better
Show me what you got
 26

[The playground falls away and they’re in the arena together under flashing lights, scored by the
sound of a crowd!

PRETZEL’s commentary also serves as stage directions for what’s happening in this dope fight!

PRETZEL
And the crowd over here at Rize is going wild as newcomer
Allonda takes down an undefeated Tay, this newbie promised
she would be shaking shit up and that’s just what she’s doing and
wait what’s she doing…nah, she can’t be OH SHIT, SHE DID
OH SHIT, ALLONDA JUST TOSSED TAY OVER IN A PERFECT
FIREMAN’S CARRY, I ain’t never seen such a thing on this playground –
I mean, in this arena, we are truly witnessing history and
OH and now Allonda’s got Tay twisted into an Arm Bar but
Tay twists out, she’s got herself on top of Allonda, pinning her down,
this may be the end of the feud as we know- OH MY GOD,
Allonda kicked out!!
WHAT!!
THE CROWD ! IS ! GOING ! WILD!
Tay gets Allonda in a headlock, bringing her to the ground, she
rolls her up and pins her down, Allonda is struggling to kick out,
she’s struggling
ONE
she’s struggling
TWO
she’s struggling she -

the music stops and the lights go out and go up quickly onto]
 27

SCENE III
saturday night

[JUSTICE and MIKE are in the living room. It’s Saturday night so you know what that means,
yeahhh sex-ay tiiime.
As the lights go up on them, it’d be cool if it’s set to some sexy music that then scores the scene.
JUSTICE is wearing some sexy lingerie and MIKE is wearing boxers and not much else. He’s
got his head out the window. JUSTICE is getting a coldass beer outta the fridge, dabs it on her
neck and chest during the following]

JUSTICE
I got eggs for the morning.

MIKE
Nice.

JUSTICE
Some cheese, too.
I can make you an omelet.

MIKE
I like omelets.

JUSTICE
Good.

[Pause. We listen to the music. So does JUSTICE. She likes how it sounds.]

JUSTICE
This summer’s gonna be hot, baby.
Like, global warming hot. Sun burning up the atmosphere and shit. You already feel it?
Like, it’s May and it feels like August. The fuck is up with that?

MIKE
You should get an AC

JUSTICE
Maybe. Been thinking about it.
Nothing better than a cold beer on a hot night, though. Don’t you think so?
Better than sex.

MIKE
Oh yeah?

JUSTICE
Almost, yeah. Almost better than sex.
 28

MIKE
It’s gotta be like 85 degrees in here.

JUSTICE
I know.
Come here.

MIKE
In a minute.
I can catch a breeze if I stick my head out far enough.

JUSTICE
Wanna see what you can catch if you stick your head back in?

[Does some sexual, playful moves with her slamming body. MIKE pokes his head back in to
look. He likes it]

JUSTICE
You like?

MIKE
Maybe.

JUSTICE
What you mean, Maybe?

MIKE
Throw me a beer

JUSTICE
I’ll throw you out that window you don’t get more excited

MIKE
She’s in her room?

JUSTICE
Don’t worry about her, baby.
She sleeps like the ocean, deep.
We got time, all for ourselves.
Come here.
Don’t leave me hanging, baby

[She does a dance to the music.

MIKE comes over to JUSTICE.
They do a silly dance together.]
 29

MIKE
I been thinking of you, you know?

JUSTICE
Hmm?

MIKE
Yeah.
I’ll be at work, lifting luggage, my eardrums buzzing, my back aching and bam, all’a sudden,
how your hands feel against my skin pops into my head.
[Kisses her hands as they dance]
These hands are magic, working out the kinks in my back sure, but they’re also smoothing out
my skin, they’re replacing my skin with magic and shit, you know? You’re replacing the shit
that’s in my skin that’s running through my blood with something more. You’re making me
something more, baby girl, Justice, my justice.

JUSTICE
Bet you say that to all your women

MIKE
Baby, you know.
[he twirls her slowly]
You’re my only woman.

JUSTICE
All the ladies at work are on Weight Watchers –

MIKE
Yo.
[he dips her]
Fuck weight watchers.

[They kiss. Long and deep.

The music stops. JUSTICE goes to put on another song; MIKE doesn’t let her go]

MIKE
Stay with me

JUSTICE
I wanna keep dancing

MIKE
We can keep dancing

[He twirls her again]

 30

JUSTICE
What’re you doing?

MIKE
We’re dancing

JUSTICE
There’s no music

MIKE
Shh, shh, don’t you hear that?
Listen.
The air is making music
Hear it?

JUSTICE
No

MIKE
I do.
I love the sound the air makes in Brooklyn
It’s a different sounding air out here than anywhere, you know?
It’s thick with music you can only hear if you try

[He dances with her to the music the air makes.

It’s a little bit silly but in the best of ways
He dips JUSTICE deeper than before]

JUSTICE
Don’t drop me

MIKE
Never, I’d never drop you
I’d only ever drop you just to catch you again

[He pretends to drop her so he can catch her, she swats him and laughs.
He stops her laughs with his kiss.
The sound of techno music being blasted from a different apartment breaks the spell.]

MIKE
Those fuckers

JUSTICE
Hey, it’s ok
 31

MIKE
It’s too late for that shit

JUSTICE
Just the Hernandez brothers, probably celebrating.
School’s almost out
You remember what that’s like, right?

MIKE
I just
I fucking hate that music, that pounding shit

JUSTICE
We can put something else on

[JUSTICE goes to put something else on

MIKE throws a shoe at the wall; yells at it.]

MIKE
Shut off your goddamm music!

[The music gets louder.]

JUSTICE
Don’t throw shit at my walls!

[MIKE starts putting on his shoes]

MIKE
This is the apartment next door, right

JUSTICE
Do not go over there

MIKE
Til they stop playing their music –

JUSTICE
I said don’t, Mike, stop it!

[The music stops]

JUSTICE
See?
It’s fine.
MIKE
I was just trying to help
 32

JUSTICE
I know.

[MIKE walks over to couch and sits down.

JUSTICE walks over to the record player. Puts on another song.
Lets the music fill the air.
Walks over to him. Gently. Slowly]

JUSTICE
Hey. You remember that time we fucked on the beach? Everyone says it’s a bad idea, messy
and sandy and shit, fucking on the beach, but I remember it being nice. Going down by the
water, all that dark water, by the damp sand – the damp sand, not the wet sand – and we put
down that towel and was drinking our beers and looking at that dark water – water looks like ink
in the dark. And all of a sudden, we were together and you were holding me and I was holding
you, and we were rolling around on the towel we put down, you remember that?
That was nice, wasn’t it?
Come on, baby.
Let’s go back to bed.
You’d like that. Right?
Come with me.

[She starts kissing him all over. He begins to kiss back. They kiss and kiss and kiss

Long Live the King by Run DMC starts to play and lights start to strobe as we enter –
 33

SCENE IV
long live the king

[KING elaborately enters the space, arms up in the air, head to the sky, soaking in the music and
the lights. After a moment of this, he opens his mouth to speak]

KING
They say

[and
A T-Mobile ringtone starts to play.
Lights come on bright; we were in the playground that whole time.]

SPIDER
Oh shit, my bad

[Runs over to take his phone, which is in some portal speakers.

Obviously since they’re Spider’s, they are Spider-Man themed looking]

KING
The fuck, Spider, that’s like the tenth time!

SPIDER
What, not my fault I’m madd popular

TAY
It’s probably your moms

SPIDER
Nah

PRETZEL
Yeah

SPIDER
Nah!
Hold up, Imma turn it on silent
[SPIDER messes with the speakers and the phone.
While he’s doing that, TAY lies next to PRETZEL and ALLONDA]

TAY
It’s so fucking hot

PRETZEL
Yeah, it’s all Global Warming, adults trying to kill us and shit ‘cause they ain’t got nothing
better to do
 34

KING
You ready?
[The music starts to play again.
PRETZEL is recording.]

KING
[opens his mouth when the t-mobile song plays]
Goddammit, Spider!

SPIDER
I thought I turned it on silent, I dunno!
Here, let me restart it.

[SPIDER runs over to check on the phone again.

He starts covertly texting instead]

SPIDER
It’s gonna take a minute

[KING rolls his eyes and starts to do push ups. He works out during the entirety of the
following.]

TAY
Man, I just wanna like
eat out Samira Wiley

ALLONDA
[Stares in shock and awe]

[The rest of them kinda roll their eyes]

PRETZEL
Yeah, what else is new

TAY
What, I bet her pussy tastes amazing.
[to Allonda] You watch Orange is the New Black?

ALLONDA
[Shakes her head]

TAY
It’s like not great, but there’s a lot of nudity and like she got this one scene,

SPIDER
Oh my god, we’ve heard!
 35

TAY
I’m telling Allonda!
I don’t say nothing when you go on about Chris Pratt!

SPIDER
God whatever

TAY
as I was saying,
Allonda,
there’s this one scene in like season 2 episode 5, right, where she getting all sexy with this
German chick, damn, bitch got these nipples that like look like cherries. Like actual cherries,
they all big and brown and round and you know, you just know she gonna taste sweet but like a
little sour, too, but like mostly sweet. Man, what’d I give to wrap my lips around those nipples
and then like get all up in her sweet, sweet sweetnsour pussy.
You can tell a lot from nipples. It don’t translate for men though, I’ve found, when men’s
nipples look nice it’s just like decoration, got nothing to do with their dick, but also, I’m not an
expert.

SPIDER
Yeah, no, nipples got nothing to do with dicks

PRETZEL
You’re not an expert either

SPIDER
I know what I know

KING
Yo, are you ready yet?

SPIDER
My phone’s still restarting

KING
You texting right now?!

SPIDER
No!

KING
I can see you from here, man!

SPIDER
[actually restarts his phone]
 36

Yeah but dicks got nothing to do with nipples, I seen guys with like big, floppy nipples that got
small dicks and taste good, small, crusty nipples that got big dicks and taste sour, nipples tell you
nothing, they not like a preview or cummin’ attraction
[he snickers at his sick pun]

PRETZEL
The fuck’s a floppy nipple

SPIDER
You know it when you see it

KING
Is your phone restarted yet?!

SPIDER
No!
I told you, it takes a minute

TAY
What do you like, Allonda?
You like dicks tits or both?

ALLONDA
uh

TAY
And obviously when I say Tits I mean Pussy, too but tits rhymes better with dicks so
ALLONDA
ok

TAY
I like both

ALLONDA
no yeah I got that.
I got that.

TAY
Well?

SPIDER
Fuck it, my phone died

KING
You serious?! I really wanted to tape my promo, though!
 37

SPIDER
Whatever, we only got 5 subscribers anyway, who’s watching us

KING
Won’t get any new subscribers if we don’t upload new content!

TAY
What’s your rush, man, we got all summer

KING
God, whatever.
Come on, Tay, let’s practice our shit.

[He and TAY begin to practice a complicated move – a Hurricanrana.

It involves flying in a circle through the air, basically, it’s madd rough but it’ll look SO COOL so
the rest of them watch; they’re tired and cranky]

KING
Stop

TAY
What?

KING
You’re doing it wrong

TAY
No, you’re doing it wrong, you’re supposed to lift me

KING
I am lifting you!

TAY
That’s a weak lift, then, ‘cause you’re not lifting me!

PRETZEL
Yo, you got water?

SPIDER
No,

TAY
You’re not picking me up right

SPIDER
you drank it all
 38

PRETZEL
man

KING
Here, try it again

PRETZEL
I’m madd thirsty

SPIDER
so go get something

KING
I’m not doing it wrong!

ALLONDA
Wait, yes you are.

TAY
See?

KING
She’s lying

ALLONDA
I’m not

KING
Just trying to make me look bad

ALLONDA
Man, you don’t need any help with that

PRETZEL
Oh shit, she got you!

KING
Don’t you wanna buy a water or something?

ALLONDA
Here, lemme show you

PRETZEL
Gimme a dollar
 39

TAY
Fountain’s free

ALLONDA
You want me to show you or what?

KING
Fine.

TAY
You’re not thirsty suddenly?

PRETZEL
Nah, I wanna watch this.

ALLONDA
Fine.
Here.

[She holds out her hands. Places a hand on his hip. The other on his shoulder.]

ALLONDA
All right, so I gotta be like this, right?

KING
All right.

ALLONDA
And you gotta put your hand on my thigh.

KING
That’s what I’ve been doing

ALLONDA
Yeah but then you also gotta get like,
[gestures to her butt]

KING
Oh.

ALLONDA
Yeah. So.

[He moves his hand down to her thigh and her butt.]
 40

ALLONDA
With this move, it’s really all gonna be on Tay, right? Like, she’s gonna have to do most of the
work. You just gotta make it so she can do it. Like you’re the structure and she’s the rocket.

[He’s holding her thigh and her butt. They’re staring at each other.
TAY breaks the spell]

TAY
You gonna do it or what?

ALLONDA
Oh. No, I dunno how

KING
Try

ALLONDA
It’s your guys’ move

KING
I got you.

[ALLONDA pauses. KING smiles]

KING
You punking out on me?

ALLONDA
[makes a face]
Fine.

[She launches herself off him and he twists around, knocking to the ground. It’s flawless]

PRETZEL
Damn

SPIDER
You can fly!

ALLONDA
See?

TAY
You think you got it?
 41

KING
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I do.

TAY
Good.
Let’s do it.

[They get into position, they do it once, it’s great.

They all feel less cranky. Right when they’re about to do it again,
a voice calls from off]

ESTEBAN’S MOM
Esteban!
Esteban

SPIDER
Oh, shit

ESTEBAN’S MOM
Mira muchacho te estoy llamando

TAY
Told you it was his mom

ESTEBAN’S MOM
y no contesta el telefono

SPIDER
My phone died

ESTEBAN’S MOM
Que?!

SPIDER
My phone died!

ESTEBAN’S MOM
No me grites!

[the group snickers]

SPIDER
What d’you want?!
 42

ESTEBAN’S MOM
Necesito que vaya a la bodega para que me compre una leche, porque ya no hay

SPIDER
In a minute!

ESTEBAN’S MOM
No, ahora

SPIDER
I’m busy!

ESTEBAN’S MOM
Si, “busy”, matandote con esa maldita lucha libre, acaba! Compra la leche!

TAY
Just go get the milk, man

SPIDER
Fine, ugh.
See you guys tomorrow!

[He runs off]

PRETZEL
I gotta go, too, I got piano

TAY
Yeah I gotta watch my sisters – see you tomorrow?

KING
But –

TAY
Same time, same place!

PRETZEL
Tomorrow!

[they leave. ALLONDA stands awkwardly with KING]

KING
Nobody takes this shit as serious as I do.

ALLONDA
I dunno, I think we all take it pretty serious
 43

KING
They got auditions coming up.
WWE?
Down in Florida
I’m gonna go down there.
Audition.

ALLONDA
You ain’t eighteen

KING
Nah but listen, okay, I gotta plan.
Imma send all our shit to WWE. They’re always scouting on the internet, looking for the next
great talent and shit and once they see my shit? It won’t matter I’m not eighteen yet, they’ll be
flying me down, first class! That’s why I want us to take this shit serious ‘cause it can mean
something serious. This ain’t a game for me, I know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing.
I feel it in my blood, like, it’s what I was born to do. It’s gonna happen for me, Allonda, I just
fucking know it.

ALLONDA
Yeah.
Yeah, I think you can totally do it.

KING
For real?

ALLONDA
Yeah.
If it’s what you’re born to do and shit, people’ll take notice. No way they won’t.

KING
Yeah.
YEAH.
I’m gonna do it.
Hey.
You seen Age of Ultron yet?

ALLONDA
Nah.

KING
Alpine’s still got it playin’, you wanna go?
I got a friend there, Supreme, he’ll let us in through the back.

ALLONDA
Oh.Uh.
 44

KING
I mean, you gotta see The Avengers at some point right?
Let’s go together.
I’ll get you a popcorn. And a soda. And whatever candy you want. And a -

ALLONDA
Yeah.
Sure, okay.
Maybe.
Okay, yes.

KING
Cool.

[The two of them smile as a sick beat starts to play and some sort of transition happens, where
the real world falls away again.
Even though the following is definitely live, it has been taped and is on their Youtube channel. .
It’s fine if things are a little sloppy and overzealous.]

PRETZEL
You are watching the RIZE RESTLING Youtube Channel, coming at you straight from
Coney Island.
If you’re not watching Rize, you’re not watching WRESTLING.
WE ARE THE FUTURE!
[!!!air horn!!!].
School may be done, but we just getting started, we we will be coming at you with the
FRESHEST content that you will EVER see on Youtube or Facebook Live or on any
network television ALL SUMMER!
If you wanna be in the know, don’t forget to hit like and subscribe for the latest rivalries,
biggest matches and dope-est action you’ll find this side of the Atlantic.
And if you wanna see us in the flesh, you’ll get your chance in three weeks on July 4th.
Bring a friend! Bring your cousin. Just don’t bring your mom. We’ll be back with more
soon, stay tuned.

[There’s a sloppy cut off to the music and we enter into - ]

 45

SCENE V
fireflies

[JUSTICE is in the middle of the living room. She’s looking at a piece of paper in her hands and
smiling. The sound of the door, she puts the piece of paper in her back pocket and puts a scowl
on her face as ALLONDA enters]

JUSTICE
Allonda.

ALLONDA
You’re home

JUSTICE
Oh, you’re not happy to see me?

ALLONDA
No, no I am,
just…surprised.
Is everything…okay?

JUSTICE
I got a phone call from your school.

ALLONDA
What, why, school’s been out

JUSTICE
Really, you have no idea why your school might be calling me

ALLONDA
No, I mean, unless they got me confused, there’s like five other Allonda’s in the school that I
know about and they all suck, maybe one of them did something, everybody smokes in the
bathroom except for me I swear, it’s like they don’t pay attention in health class or to those
Don’t Smoke commercials but I didn’t do nothing just -

JUSTICE
They wanted me to know.
That you didn’t get top marks in your grade.
You got top marks in the entire school.

[She smiles.
ALLONDA smiles, too]
 46

ALLONDA
Wait, for real?

JUSTICE
Yeah, even compared to the seniors, you’re the top!
And your report card came in the mail today
[She takes the piece of paper out of her back pocket]
I ain’t never seen grades like this!
I didn’t know grades go this high up!
When’d you get so smart?!

[ALLONDA takes the report card, looking at it smiling]

ALLONDA
I dunno

JUSTICE
And you’re in all those hard classes!
All the APs and advanced’s and all

ALLONDA
Yeah

JUSTICE
Come here

[She opens her arms for a hug,

ALLONDA enters it.
They hug. It’s nice.
It’s so nice.
JUSTICE breaks the hug, takes the report card from ALLONDA]

JUSTICE
We gotta put this up on the fridge

ALLONDA
What, no!
I’m too old for that

JUSTICE
You’re not too old for nothing, come on.

[Goes into the kitchen, puts the report card on the fridge]

ALLONDA
Thanks, Justice
 47

JUSTICE
Was talking with your guidance counselor, Ms. Vasquez? Says you can probably get into the Ivy
leagues! They seen it happen

ALLONDA
Oh, I dunno

JUSTICE
Said you could probably do it with a full ride

ALLONDA
That would be cool.

JUSTICE
You still wanna be a lawyer, right?

ALLONDA
Yeah

JUSTICE
You gonna do it.
That’s right, my baby’s gonna be a lawyer!

[JUSTICE hugs ALLONDA again.]

JUSTICE
Girl, what’s up with your hair

ALLONDA
I dunno

JUSTICE
It’s all tangled

ALLONDA
Yeah

JUSTICE
Here. Get your hairbrush, I’ll fix it for you.

[ALLONDA runs to grab the brush.

Sits in front of JUSTICE.
JUSTICE brushes her hair]

JUSTICE
Been thinking about giving in.
 48

Getting an AC

ALLONDA
REALLY?!

JUSTICE
Keep your head still!

ALLONDA
Okay, but are you serious?

JUSTICE
Yeah

ALLONDA
Please please please get one

JUSTICE
Never used to need one, growing up. Just used a fan.
Fan’s not cutting this heat, though.
Just like pushing around more hot air, it’s useless.

ALLONDA
I love the sound the AC make.
From the outside of a building?
Like, how in the height of summer people keep’em on non-stop – not that we would!
Just seems like most of the buildings do.
And when you walk by, you can hear the whole building buzzing like dragonflies.
Like all them ACs are a flock of dragonflies just buzzing away.
Like the buildings are breathing and beating with the people living inside’em.
We’ll be part of that breathing, too.
Thanks, Justice.

JUSTICE
You talk crazy sometimes
[Starts to braid her hair]
Your mom’s the only one crazy enough who’d love this stupid weather.

ALLONDA
Yeah?

JUSTICE
Yeah. She woulda loved this stupid weather. Ava weather. Used to complain all through Fall
and Winter, tolerated Spring to get to Summer, waiting to get to Ava weather.
Used to bake out there in the sun. Said she’d get energy from it. Hated going in the water, just
wanted to stay out in the sun. Roasting in the sun. She was a sunny fool.
 49

[She finishes braiding her hair]

So hey.
Things are getting real with Mike,
been spending so much time here, may as well be paying rent.
So that’s what he’s gonna be doing.

ALLONDA
Oh yeah, you mean like
[starts obnoxiously sing-humming the wedding march]

JUSTICE
Stop, no.
It’s just.
Sometimes you don’t want a person to leave.
Sometimes they add something to the air.
A different kinda oxygen and you just wanna keep breathing it in.
We’re each other’s oxygen.

ALLONDA
You can just say you wanna fuck constantly, I know what sex is.

JUSTICE
Allonda.

[ALLONDA hesitates]

ALLONDA
Do you like
love him, though

JUSTICE
Yeah, I do.

ALLONDA
How do you know?

JUSTICE
What?

ALLONDA
How do you know what love is? And like, when it happens, how do you know?

JUSTICE
Why? You falling in love so soon?
 50

ALLONDA
I kinda went on a date with a guy

JUSTICE
You did what?

ALLONDA
Yeah.
Went to the movies.

JUSTICE
You didn’t ask me if you could

ALLONDA
Oh.
Didn’t know I was supposed to

JUSTICE
I just assumed you would

ALLONDA
Yeah but I didn’t know
So

[There’s an awkward beat between the two of them]

JUSTICE
He try anything with you?

ALLONDA
What? NO

JUSTICE
Gotta be careful

ALLONDA
I know, I’m not dumb

JUSTICE
It’s not about being dumb,
it’s about being careful.
You gotta be careful.

[There’s another awkward pause between the two.

JUSTICE takes ALLONDA’s braid out and rebraids it]
 51

JUSTICE
It’s hard ‘cause there’s no words for it. Love. Being in love. It’s a feeling. It’s steady but it’s
wild. It’s deep inside but it’s right there, on your surface. You’ll know it when you feel it.
I promise.
Your mom used to love, deep. Used to fall in love with someone new weekly. She had that
infinite capacity to love.

ALLONDA
Just.
Tell Mike to smoke his cigars out the window.

JUSTICE
I like the smell of cigars.
Smells like licorice almost.

ALLONDA
Yeah, okay.
Licorice is nasty, too.

[A surly pause.]

JUSTICE
She used to dance.
Ava.

ALLONDA
Yeah, I know.
I remember.

JUSTICE
Couldn’t get her to stop dancing.
Especially when the sun’d charge her up, couldn’t get her to stop.

[JUSTICE gets up and puts on some music. It’s a super upbeat song. She starts to do a really
silly dance, like a lot of shimmying and stuff. It is totally borderline embarrassing, and epic-ly
fun. ALLONDA starts to laugh despite herself. JUSTICE dances over to her and takes her by
the hands and they start to dance together. They dance and dance and dance as

music shifts and Tay comes out to her entrance music, in full costume,
very elaborately and super cool.
She picks up a mic they built; it’s just a hairbrush with a styrophome cube wrapped around it
that says RIZE RESTLING on it, but maybe it might be nice if her voice boomed anyway.

She lifts up her hand, the music stops.

(probably it’s a really sloppy stop, like a non-fade out)
Does some intense glaring before she starts to speak.
 52

TAY
What is a belt?
No, really, what is a belt?
Let’s run through the definitions, it’s a
strip of metal that connects two parts of a machine.
It’s a strip of land that cuts through the middle of the US and is full of morons.
It’s a strip of leather that keeps your pants up,
it’s nothing, really –
Except that here, at Rize, it’s everything.
Because it’s not just a strip of anything, it’s EVERYTHING.
AND THAT BELT IS MINE!
It’s all my sweat and blood and tears,
It’s every scratch and bruise and cut I got
It’s every scar you can see
It’s every scar that you can’t
It’s every one of my gigantic echoing heartbeats,
beating hard inside of it.
[she hits her hand against her chest like heartbeats]
That belt?
It belongs to me because it IS ME.
And I got a message here for King.
King, if you think that belt is built for you, you in for a rude surprise.
Because I’m coming for you, King.
I know, I know we go way back, but guess what.
I ain’t looking no where but forward.
Long live the King?
The King is dead.
[does something like spits or snarls or does a thing with her tongue or all those things!]
And remember, if you wanna see us live you gonna get your chance on July 4, 1:00,
Eastern Standard Time so.
Be there or be LAME.

[She drops the fake mic and raises her hands in victory before
lights go out her and up sharply on]
 53

SCENE VI
caught

[The playground, right after. They just taped TAY’s promo. She’s wearing her outfit. SPIDER
got stuck with videographer duties again. ALLONDA, and KING are sitting around her,
watching. PRETZEL’s not there]

TAY
We get it?

SPIDER
Yeah, I think so

KING
Yeah, that was dope

TAY
Good, this shit’s riding up ass and digging into my tits at the same time, fuck, why can’t I just
wear jeans?

KING
‘Cause jeans aren’t a costume, they’re just regular shit you wear

TAY
Jeans can so be a costume

KING
Yeah but the one you’re wearing looks better!

ALLONDA
It does look cooler than jeans

TAY
What’s the fucking use if I can’t move in it, though?!

KING
So make it so that you can move in it, I dunno!

TAY
Allonda, can you help me adjust?

ALLONDA
Yeah

[She goes over to help TAY adjust her top.

There’s a spark between them.
 54

KING notices]

ALLONDA
How’s that feel

TAY
Better

KING
Hey, Allonda.
I forgot to tell you, you look madd pretty today.

[the three look surprised.

ALLONDA looks really surprised]

ALLONDA
Oh …uh…yeah?

KING
Yeah.

ALLONDA
That’s cool!

[PRETZEL enters the playground. He’s a little deflated]

KING
Yo, you’re late

PRETZEL
I know

KING
What happened

PRETZEL
Nothin’

SPIDER
Everything okay?

PRETZEL
Yeah

[TAY walks over and punches PRETZEL in the arm]

 55

PRETZEL
HEY

TAY
Tell us what’s wrong!

PRETZEL
It’s not a big deal!

TAY
Then tell us!

PRETZEL
Nothing it’s just.
Me and Tania was hanging out.
Like. In her room.
And her mom came home and kinda.
Caught us.

[the group collectively grimaces]

TAY
Like.
Dick out?

PRETZEL
Nah!
I mean, it technically wasn’t out at that point

KING
Oh shit

PRETZEL
Like, we didn’t hear her door open until her mom started screaming
and then she was screaming and throwing shit at us both
so I jumped out the fire escape and almost had an asthma attack and came here

[there’s a pause]

TAY
Tania’s mom’s a prude

KING
Yeah, fuck her, man
 56

SPIDER
You want some water?

KING
Yeah, gotta be in good voice, we gotta get this shit taped

TAY
Yeah, can’t do this shit without you

KING
Right

SPIDER
Right

TAY
Right

SPIDER
You good, man?

PRETZEL
Yeah.
I’m good
KING
Come on, we gotta get this preview taped.
Our first show’s only a week away.

[The lights shift as PRETZEL moves to the center and we enter the Youtube channel world.]

PRETZEL
What up, this is Pretzel from Rize Restling with a preview of our debut match.
But before we get into it, I wanna take a second to address a comment from Youtube user
TonyPepperoni77 who asks “You know you’re spelling wrestling wrong? It’s with a W
not without a W?”
Yeah, TonyPepperoni77, WE KNOW, and it ain’t wrong because we doing it on purpose
because here at Rize, we are REDEFINING RESTLING. It sounds like you ain’t ready
for this shit, so why don’t you go watch some cat videos.
Let’s get this preview started!
[He clears his throat and gets more serious]
And now making his way from BrOOOKlyn, nEW York, weighing in at about one-
hundred and eighty-nine pounds of pure diesel,
please welcome me in inNNNNtroducing KIIIINGGG

[KING enters the space to Down with the King, he makes a grand show of entering. When he’s
done - ]
 57

PRETZEL
ANND his opponent, weighing in at about

TAY
don’t

PRETZEL
right,
ALSO from BROOKLYN, New YORK, current reigning champion of Rize Restling, give it
up for TAAAAAAAAY!

[TAY enters the space to the refrain of A Tribe Called Red by Angel Haze.

The two have a moment where they’re both in their corners, aggressively bouncing in one
another’s general directions]

PRETZEL
The following contest is scheduled for one fall

[from off, we can hear ALLONDA and SPIDER weakly say ONE FALL!]

PRETZEL
And at the sound of the bell, here we go

[The sound of the bell (definitely not live) and TAY and KING run at each other to wrestle when
lights go up on the next scene]
 58

SCENE VII
dinnertime

[Dinnertime at JUSTICE’s place. JUSTICE, ALLONDA and MIKE are sitting around a table,
eating pizza. They’re all just sitting and chewing, silently.
The sound of sirens floats by.
After a moment]

MIKE
Lemme get the Pepsi?

[JUSTICE pushes it over to him without a word.

He pours it into his glass.
Sips it. Stifles a burp.
JUSTICE reaches for the garlic powder, shakes it onto her pizza]
Sirens float by.
They keep eating]

MIKE
So. Allonda.
You doing good in school?

ALLONDA
Yeah.

MIKE
Good.

[More awkward silence]

MIKE
School’s almost out

ALLONDA
It’s been out.
For like three weeks.

JUSTICE
Allonda

ALLONDA
Yeah?

JUSTICE
[mouths B E N I C E]
 59

ALLONDA
[mouths back I A M]

JUSTICE
[gives her a stare like What’d I just say?]

ALLONDA
[sighs]
I’m done, can I leave?

JUSTICE
Wait til everyone’s done eating.

ALLONDA
But I’m done

JUSTICE
Not everybody is so wait

ALLONDA
But –

JUSTICE
Just wait

ALLONDA
But –

MIKE
Summer’s my favorite. Used to be even better when I was in school because it meant no school.

[Beat.
JUSTICE looks at her like come on, try]

ALLONDA
Well.
I like school.
And.
Summer’s the worst.
It’s too hot.

JUSTICE
Summer’s hot.

ALLONDA
Yeah but it gets too hot.
 60

MIKE
I know what you mean.

JUSTICE
You do?

MIKE
Yeah. I spent a summer in California once. It’s nice out in California. Aside from it being
California, which is a drag. But it’s nice, especially by the water. L.A. It’s a different kind of
water out there, the water’s nice and cool and clear and the temperature is always perfect. The
weather’s always the same, even in summer. Even when it rains, if it ever rains it’s still perfect
weather. ‘Course Californians are punks when it rains, the whole state shuts down in solidarity,
but it barely rains so.
But yeah, it don’t get sticky hot like it does here. Sometimes it feels like the air is trying to
choke us here. Like it’s wrapping its hands around our necks, pressing its fingers around our
necks, keeping our breath trapped inside our throats.

ALLONDA
Yeah.
That’s what it feels like.
Guess I should go out to California

JUSTICE
Yeah, right.

ALLONDA
Why not?
Mike did it.

MIKE
Can’t stay away from Brooklyn.

ALLONDA
I’d like to run away from Brooklyn.

[Beat.]

ALLONDA
I wanna dye my hair pink.

MIKE
You should.

JUSTICE
Don’t encourage her.
 61

MIKE
I think it would suit her.
Brings out the rose in your cheeks.

JUSTICE
Just like a cotton candy

MIKE
Nah, it’ll bring out her natural beauty.

ALLONDA
See?

JUSTICE
You can go now.
Clear your spot.

[ALLONDA rolls her eyes and leaves.]

JUSTICE
I swear, if I hear the words Pink Hair one more time I’m gonna scream

MIKE
You shouldn’t talk to her like that.

JUSTICE
Like what?

MIKE
Like she’s a kid.

JUSTICE
She is a kid.

MIKE
She ain’t.

[MIKE holds JUSTICE’s hand.]

MIKE
Hey.
You’re doing a good job with her

JUSTICE
I’m worried for her
 62

MIKE
Nah, she’s good
No need to be worried

JUSTICE
I dunno sometimes
Used to be different. Easier. Now I dunno what to do more times than I think I do.
Probably more than you bargained for

MIKE
Hey
You’re the most amazing woman I ever known, you know that?

JUSTICE
Nah

MIKE
I’m lucky to be with you.
You make me lucky
[he kisses her hands]
Let’s go take a walk down by the water, huh?
After dinner?
Dip our toes in the sand.

JUSTICE
Yeah, all right.
That sounds nice.
Real nice.

[they hold hands as we transition into - ]

 63

SCENE VIII
heroes

[Another day at the playground.

SPIDER is sitting under the tree, sewing.
ALLONDA walks on wearing big ass headphones. She sees SPIDER, lowers them]

ALLONDA
Hey!

SPIDER
Oh, hey!

ALLONDA
What’re you doing out here?

SPIDER
Just chilling.
Too hot inside

ALLONDA
Too hot out here, too

SPIDER
I know, I was at Tony’s but they was like You can’t stay here all day if all you order is one garlic
knot and a coke and I didn’t feel like going to the McDonalds or the Dunkin

ALLONDA
too many tourists

SPIDER
Yeah, so I came out here.

ALLONDA
That’s cool.

SPIDER
Yeah.

[ALLONDA nods. She goes to put her headphones back on.

Stops. Lingers awkwardly.]

ALLONDA
Been trying to find a new entrance song
SPIDER
Thought you were going with that Snow Tha Product one
 64

ALLONDA
Yeah, nah, I dunno.
Nothing feels right yet.
I mean, I still don’t even have a name

SPIDER
Our first show is in three days!

ALLONDA
I know

SPIDER
Just pick what you like most in the world and stick it on!

ALLONDA
Yeah, I’ll get it, I’ll get it.

SPIDER
You gotta figure it out soon,
we’re getting mad views on Youtube.

ALLONDA
I know, our last had thirty-seven views!
That’s crazy!

SPIDER
Right!

[Another awkward beat.]

ALLONDA
I didn’t know you can sew

SPIDER
I mean, I can’t.
I’m trying, though,
wanna get my look ready.

[He shows her what he’s working on; it’s not done yet but you can tell that it’s a luchadore mask
that’s made to look like the Spider-Man mask.]

ALLONDA
Oh, shit, that’s sick!
SPIDER
Yeah??
This is like my fourth try.
 65

Sewing is not easy.

Peter Parker makes it look easy.

ALLONDA
He also makes leaping from buildings look easy

SPIDER
Yeah, which is something I know I can’t do but like sewing?
Should be easy.

ALLONDA
Well, I think it’ll look sick.

SPIDER
Thanks.
I hope so.
Don’t want it to be lame.

ALLONDA
Nah, it won’t be.

[ALLONDA studies the ends of her hair]

ALLONDA
I bet if I dyed my hair pink, I’d figure out my name and my entrance song and everything

SPIDER
So do it!

ALLONDA
I can’t

SPIDER
Your moms won’t let you?

ALLONDA
Something like that

SPIDER
So what, do it anyway.
It’s your hair and it’ll look awesome.

[ALLONDA shrugs]
ALLONDA
Hey. Why you love Spider-Man so much?
 66

SPIDER
Ain’t it obvious?

ALLONDA
Nah.

SPIDER
Oh. Well. I dunno. I mean, he’s real. Realer than any other superhero out there. It’s almost
like he can be real, like I know him. Like, I can be him.
Sometimes I ride the train out, down to ninth avenue just so I can ride it back at night. On nights
when I can’t sleep. I got mad nights where I can’t sleep and.
I ride the train at night because it’s something I like to think Spider-Man would do. Like, either
Peter Parker or Miles Morales, it’s something Spider-Man would do. I like that the trains are all
empty except for like a bum who’s making it their bed for the night or a couple, eyes shut tight
and holding onto each other for dear life and
I like it when the train comes in so I can watch the lights in the windows of the projects pulsing.
I like the fact they’re all still on, and that the buildings are like nightlights, lighting the way.
Makes me less lonely. Because sometimes I get lonely? Ain’t that some shit? It creeps on me
and latches onto my blood like Venom, becomes a part of me that I can’t shake.

ALLONDA
I get that.
SPIDER
Yeah?
ALLONDA
Yeah.
[A moment where they get one another. One of those special teenage bonding moments where
the truth comes out and it’s your truth, too so it’s okay. ALLONDA stands suddenly]

ALLONDA
Come on

SPIDER
Where

ALLONDA
Let’s go dye my hair

[SPIDER immediately puts his stuff away and gets up at the same time]

SPIDER
Fuck yes, let’s do it!
[they run off together]
 67

SCENE IX
the calm before

[Down under the pier. It’s nighttime and quiet. The five of them are sitting in a circle.
PRETZEL takes out a joint and lights it. Breathes it in.
Passes it to TAY. She takes a hit.
Passes it to SPIDER. He takes a hit.
Passes it to KING. He takes a hit.
Passes it to ALLONDA]

ALLONDA
No thanks.

KING
Shit’s good

TAY
Strong

SPIDER
Too strong

PRETZEL
Got it from my cousin

KING
Which cousin

PRETZEL
I don’t remember.

TAY
Try it

PRETZEL
Little John, I think?

SPIDER
How don’t you remember

TAY
Come on

PRETZEL
Got a lot of cousins
 68

ALLONDA
I’m good.

PRETZEL
and they all deal

ALLONDA
Thanks.

TAY
Your loss

[She takes another hit]

PRETZEL
Yo, go easy

TAY
I am
I’m smoking Allonda’s half.

KING
You’re so stupid.

[TAY punches his arm.

They sit in silence, looking at the ocean]

ALLONDA
Today was good.

KING
Yeah

TAY
Yeah

SPIDER
Yeah.

PRETZEL
Yeah.

[A beat]

ALLONDA
Why do you think WWE don’t let women wrestle the men?
 69

KING
I dunno.

ALLONDA
I mean, it’s pretty stupid.

KING
Just because we do it doesn’t mean it’s like safe.

SPIDER
None of this shit is safe

KING
Yeah but I mean, extra

ALLONDA
Really?

TAY
Nah, you’re right.
I mean, if they’re in the same fucking weight division, what does it matter if they’re men or
women wrestling each other? What are they worried if men wrestle women they’ll get distracted
by their titties? Like they just won’t know what to do with their hands, a tittie, I gotta grab it!
No!, they’re too fucking busy wrestling because they’re kinda like actual professionals? I mean,
being aired on network tv and whatever, obviously they’re not going to be like wow a sex organ
that’s not mine, what do I do in this moment, I cannot control my impulses and I must attack!
By that logic I shouldn’t be wrestling anyone.

SPIDER
Guess we’re ahead of our time.

[Beat.
The night is so perfect.
KING does his promo]

KING
They say
that Brooklyn
is the hottest place to live,
not outta the five boroughs,
not outta the state,
not outta the country,
Nah,
they say that Brooklyn is the hottest place to live
in the whole motha-fuckin’ WORLD.
 70

And I say, yeah. I know.

I know that Brooklyn is the greatest place to live in the entire fucking world, in the universe,
but do you really know why that is?
You know why Brooklyn is the greatest place?
It’s not because Brooklyn is full’a cute-ass fancy coffee shops.
It’s not because Brooklyn has commissioned artsy walls or white people that play guitar in the
streets or a fucking avocado bar
It’s because -
Shhh, listen.
You hear that?
Sounds like noise, but it ain’t.
It ain’t.
It’s music.
It’s my music.
It’s our music,
The roar of a train as it pulls out of a station, sirens as they tear the air wailing down the street,
people laughing, people yelling, people crying,
you see the walls, covered in writing, looks like dirty scribbles to you.
Smell the garbage baking in the sun, smells like shit to you, and it is but it ain’t.
It’s roses.
This is a county for Kings.
I know what they say, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere, but that ain’t true,
nah,
If you can make it Here, you can make it anywhere!
This a county for KINGS, baby!
And I’m the King!
All hail the King!
[A moment as he comes down]
It’s good, right?

TAY
Damn, King.

[They’re all moved.

Shit’s too real.
But at least they’re together for it.
After a moment]

KING
You think people’ll show?

SPIDER
We got 20 subscribers on Youtube

TAY
Yeah.
 71

People all watching.

ALLONDA
Yeah.
It’ll be cool.

KING
You still need a name.

[Pause. And then suddenly]

ALLONDA
Allondra

TAY
Allondra?

ALLONDA
Yeah. Allondra.

PRETZEL
Why?

ALLONDA
Because. It’s my name.

TAY
Allondra

PRETZEL
I like it

[PRETZEL stands]
PRETZEL
Innntroducing the new heavyweight champion of the world, give it up for ALLLLONNDRRRA

[ALLONDA gets up, does a cartwheel on the sand. It’s messy. It’s fun]

KING
You got sand in my eyes

TAY
Bet you couldn’t do any better

[KING gets up, does a cartwheel.

They all start doing cartwheels.
 72

They’re playing in the sand like kids.

It’s so much fucking fun.
Suddenly, a light shines on them. A voice]

VOICE
What are you doing?

KING
Run!

[They all run away, laughing and screeching with joy.

ALLONDA and KING separate from the group – they grabbed hands when they ran.

TAY saw and it hurt her like a punch.

The two of them are somewhere else, still laughing and trying to catch their breaths.
In the middle of a breathless laugh, KING kisses ALLONDA.
She tries kissing back.
KING’s definitely more patient than she is.]

KING
Hey.

ALLONDA
Hey.

KING
You wanna find somewhere?

ALLONDA
Oh.
I uh.
I don’t think so.

KING
Don’t you wanna?

ALLONDA
I mean. Yes.
But.
I just.
Dunno how to do it.

KING
You don’t need to know.
 73

You figure it out.

We figure it out.
It’s just like wrestling.

ALLONDA
No it ain’t

KING
You know how we get into that rhythm?
How we finding out rhythm out in the ring?
That’s how it’ll be.
We just gotta find our rhythm.
We can find our rhythm.

[They find a rhythm.

ALLONDA and KING, they find a rhythm. It’s intimate and deeply vulnerable.
After a moment of this, ALLONDA breaks free.]

ALLONDA
I wanna but.
Not now.

[KING kisses the top of her head.

It’s sweet.]

KING
Okay.

[They hold hands]

ALLONDA
We can keep making out, though

KING
Okay!

[They keep making out as the scene comes to an end]

 74

SCENE X
let the show begin

[An epic Dream Ballet-esque wrestling montage, like the most epic montage to ever appear on
stage, ever, aim for that.

The wrestling sequences here are more dream and dancelike and it would be cool if the entire
sequence is scored by some epic remix music and if Pretzel’s voice is remixed into that music.
As they go along, Pretzel’s outfit changes – 1. A plain white T-shirt, 2. A nicer black T-shirt and
3. A T-shirt that looks like a Tux.

Let’s watch, shall we?

PRETZEL
What up what up what up, it’s the Fourth of July and fireworks are happening in Coney
Island at Rize Restling as two fierce competitors face off in the most BOMB-bastic match
of the year, a match so hot, that promises to be so EXPLOSIVE,
it’ll light up the sky even in the DAYTIME,
I need to hear you give it up for SPIDER AND TAY

Spider leaps into the playground to a remixed version of the Spider-Man theme song, wearing
his spider-luchadore mask, and crouching low in the Spider-Man pose, throwing out the
webslinger move before Tay comes on.

They wrestle together; Tay wins.

PRETZEL
Two weeks into July and the weatherman promises a heat wave so we’re gonna add to
that heat by bringing you all the hottest rivalry Coney Island ever seen, you know’em,
you love to hate’m, make some noise for KING AND TAY

King and Tay wrestle; this one is super exciting, they’re really, really good at working the
crowd. King wins.

PRETZEL
What better way to close out the month than with our first EVER fan favorite match –
that’s right, in honor of hitting ONE HUNNNDRED YOUTUBE SUBSCRIBERS, we are
giving you a very special match, top voted among you, the fans, I need to hear you
scream for KING and ALLONDRA!!!

The two of them wrestle and wrestle and at the height the arena disappears and we enter –
 75

SCENE XI
fearless

[The living room. MIKE is lying on the couch, asleep, a damp washcloth across his forehead
and a fan is oscillating next to his face. He’s sleeping.
It’s peaceful.
ALLONDA slams the door open, scaring MIKE, knocking the fan down.
She’s holding a shirt over her arm, which is bleeding profusely. They both startle each other]

MIKE
Oh shit

ALLONDA
Shit
Thought you were at work

MIKE
I’m off to- What the fuck’s wrong with your arm?!

ALLONDA
Oh, yeah.
Uhhh it won’t stop bleeding.

MIKE
Shit. Shiiit, what happened?

ALLONDA
Nothing

MIKE
Yeah, nothing.
Here.

[He holds out his hand for her arm.]

MIKE
Come on
Lemme see.

ALLONDA
It’s fine.

MIKE
You’ll probably need stiches
 76

ALLONDA
No, I won’t

MIKE
Lemme see it.

ALLONDA
You gonna throw up

MIKE
Give it here.

[ALLONDA hesitantly gives him her arm.]

MIKE
[pretends to vomit]

ALLONDA
Stop

MIKE
Nah, nah I’m just playing.

ALLONDA
It’s not funny

MIKE
I know, I know.
Lemme see.

[He studies her arm. It’s nasty but not as bad as ALLONDA thinks]

MIKE
Oh shit

ALLONDA
What?

MIKE
I hate to be the one to break this to you
but we’re gonna have to take it all.

ALLONDA
What??
 77

MIKE
[Makes a chopping motion and chopping sounds. He thinks he’s super funny! lollollol]

ALLONDA
You’re not funny!

MIKE
Nah, you’ll be fine.
It’s not that deep.
Here, I’ll fix ya up.

ALLONDA
You don’t have to

MIKE
It’s no problem

ALLONDA
I can do it myself

MIKE
It’ll be easier if I help

[Beat]

ALLONDA
Fine.
There’s bandaids in the bathroom.

[MIKE rips the bottom of his shirt into a strip.]

MIKE
Bandaids’re to weak for this.

ALLONDA
You didn’t have to

MIKE
It’s fine.

ALLONDA
You’re so extra.

[He begins to wrap the cloth around her arm.]

 78

MIKE
Oh, shit, wait, you got rubbing alcohol?

ALLONDA
No.

MIKE
Okay, hold up.

[He goes to the fridge, takes out vodka, brings it.]

MIKE
Same shit, right?

ALLONDA
I guess.

[He carefully pours some over her arm. She winces]

ALLONDA
Shitshitshitshit

MIKE
I know, it stings

ALLONDA
Yeah, stings like a fire

MIKE
It’s okay.
It’ll pass.

[He rubs her back while she cringes into the pain.
He pours her a shot]

MIKE
Here

ALLONDA
I can’t

MIKE
It’s fine, it’ll help with the pain.

ALLONDA
It’s fine, don’t hurt that bad.
 79

[MIKE shrugs, does the shot,

pours another]

MIKE
So.
What were you doing to get this?

ALLONDA
Nothing.

MIKE
You got this by doing nothing

ALLONDA
…yes

MIKE
Come on. Tell me.

ALLONDA
You’ll tell Justice

MIKE
Nah

ALLONDA
Yeah right

MIKE
You can trust me

ALLONDA
I dunno
I’m already in trouble because’a the
[points to her hair]
Not even supposed to be outside

MIKE
Justice treats you too much like a baby. I dunno why, that’s between the two of you, but really,
you’re an adult. Right?

ALLONDA
Yeah. I guess.

MIKE
So why don’t you tell me?
 80

[He pours her a shot]

And you’ll see if I keep your secret. That’s part of being an adult, too. Trust. Learning to trust
people. Do you trust me?
[A pause. She considers the shot.]

MIKE
Don’t worry about it.
Just like medicine,
like Novocain,
clear our your head,
make the pain go away.

[She does the shot. Grimaces but gets it together. It empowers her.]

ALLONDA
Me and my friends.
We wrestle.
Out on the playground.
Took a bad fall, that’s all.

MIKE
Like backyard wrestling?

ALLONDA
Yeah.
But more legit, we got a youtube.
And we been doing shows.

MIKE
That’s dangerous.

ALLONDA
Yeah.
But fun.

MIKE
I bet.

ALLONDA
Madd fun.

MIKE
Me and my friends, we used to that, too. Play wrestle. ‘Course back then it was only guys,
didn’t have no girls playing with us. They was all too wimpy, I think. Takes guts to do that shit.
You gotta be fearless.
A little bit fearless.
 81

Like you, you’re a little bit fearless.

ALLONDA
No.
I’m a lotta bit fearless.
Actually, completely.
Completely fearless.

[Beat]
MIKE
Well.
As long as you’re having fun.

ALLONDA
Yeah. I am.
Thanks. For the -

MIKE
No problem.

ALLONDA
You can like. Check out our Youtube and subscribe if you wanna.
And come to our shows.
As long as you don’t tell Justice.

MIKE
I won’t
You can trust me

[She starts out the door. Pauses. Turns to him]

ALLONDA
Thanks.
Thanks again.

MIKE
Yeah.
See you later, Allonda.

[ALLONDA smiles at him.

She walks into the next match, which is one between her and TAY.

They both work well together, they have really good chemistry in the ring.

It switches so that she’s wrestling KING, and they wrestle and wrestle until KING’s got
ALLONDA is a really legit Coquina Clutch and]
 82

SCENE XII
sin miedo

MS. WONG
That boy bothering you Allonda?

[Lights change to the playground again.

KING’s still got ALLONDA in a Coquina Clutch (aka a submission move).
It looks sexual and Allonda is fake-crying in pain, hence Ms. Wong’s concern.
All of them respond]

ALL
We just playing Ms. Wong!
Yeah, no I’m good
Just got a wrestling show
Come see our show, we doing it again next week!

MS. WONG
Okay, then.
Have fun!

[They all like wave and smile til she’s out of view]

PRETZEL
Yo, I heard Ms. Wong is hooking up with Big Ricky

KING
Nah

PRETZEL
That what my moms says

SPIDER
Who’s Big Ricky?

PRETZEL
He’s like. Big and his name’s Ricky

KING
Man, I don’t wanna think about Ms. Wong smashing with nobody

SPIDER
Why not, it’s nice

KING
It’s nasty, she’s like forty-five
 83

TAY
Old people get horny, too

KING
Gross.

ALLONDA
Come on, let’s get back to it

KING
Hold up, I need a breather.

[KING walks over to ALLONDA, puts his arm around her.

It’s a little awkward]

PRETZEL
I heard that pussy’s dry out the older you get

TAY
That’s an urban-ass legend, that shit don’t happen, what happens is that -

[ALLONDA is like this conversation NEEDS to stop]

ALLONDA
Hey.
I think I have a like.
Catchphrase?
I wanna try.

SPIDER
For real?

TAY
Finally.
It’s only been a month!
ALLONDA
Yeah,

PRETZEL
All right!

KING
Go for it.

[They’re all staring at her.

She gets shy suddenly]
 84

ALLONDA
I don’t know, it might be stupid

TAY
Oh, come on
We’re not gonna like
laugh at you

ALLONDA
I mean, you’re always like, laughing at Pretzel

PRETZEL
That’s because I’m hilarious

ALLONDA
And calling you a fool and stuff

TAY
Yeah we’re always calling him a fool but that’s because he’s a fool and that’s only because
we’re friends, if someone else called him a fool I’d punch them in the face without hesitation

ALLONDA
Oh.

PRETZEL
Yeah, I mean that’s just how it works.
What, you never had friends?

[Pretzel’s joking but

ALLONDA doesn’t answer.
It gets a little too real.]

TAY
Yo, come on, you gonna do it or what?

[ALLONDA puts her hands on her hips and shouts]

ALLONDA
Sin miedo!

[And jumps off the top of the slide.

Everyone stares at her]

ALLONDA
I mean like.
I’d do it right before I do a finisher, you know?
 85

TAY
That’s hot

ALLONDA
Yeah?

SPIDER
Yeah

KING
Yeah, it’s hot

PRETZEL
Wait, I don’t get it
What’s it mean without shit

[They all crack up]

SPIDER
The fuck is the matter with you?!

PRETZEL
Uh, miedo means shit
Sin miedo?!
Without SHIT?!
Hello?!

[They laugh harder]

ALLONDA
Miedo, oh, oh, not a

SPIDER
Mierda is shit!

PRETZEL
Ooooh

SPIDER
You been taking Spanish for 8 years!

PRETZEL
Yeah, and I’m getting an eighty EIGHT in Spanish, son!

SPIDER
Because you flirt with Senorita Hernandez
 86

PRETZEL
Fool, no, Senorita Hernandez is a married lady

[Everybody laughs harder]

PRETZEL
The fuck’s so funny?!

TAY
Senorita means she’s not married!

PRETZEL
Ah, nah, for real?

KING
How the fuck’m I in summer school and you out roaming the free world

PRETZEL
Whatever, Spanish’s stupid anyway

SPIDER
Uh, Spanish is a life skill, tonto

PRETZEL
No, I mean, the class, dumbass

TAY
You’re so stupid

PRETZEL
Wait, no wait what’s it mean, then?
Miedo?

ALLONDA
Fear.
I’m saying without fear.
Fearless.
PRETZEL
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that’s a good one.

TAY
Yeah, we already had that moment
 87

PRETZEL
Nah, but wait, watch this
[Announcer voice]
Introducing, Allondra!
The girl without fear.

TAY
We’re grown ass women!

KING
God, Tay, can you turn it off for like thirty-five seconds

TAY
Uh, yeah, let me just turn off systemic sexism
Oh, wait no
I literally CAN’T DO THAT
KING
Dear god

PRETZEL
Nonono, wait, I got it, I got it, listen -
Introducing Allondra.
The Fearless One.

[ALLONDA hugs PRETZEL]

PRETZEL
HA!
She likes it.

ALLONDA
Yeah, I do.
I love it.

PRETZEL
[mouths SHE LOVES IT Haaaa]

[SPIDER puts out a hand.

She puts out her hand.
They do an easy complicated handshake.
ALLONDA climbs to the top of the slide again
Puts her hands on her hips.]
ALLONDA
Sin miedo!

[And jumps!
 88

A movement, something involving ALLONDA, TAY and KING primarily until it’s just TAY
and ALLONDA in the next scene

SCENE XIII
…caught

[A different, rainy day.

TAY and ALLONDA enter the apartment, both of them are soaked.
The mess in the apartment has grown.]

TAY
I can’t believe I locked myself out

ALLONDA
I’ll get you a towel

TAY
Thanks

[ALLONDA goes to get a towel. TAY quickly sniffs her armpits and ALLONDA comes back]

ALLONDA
Here

TAY
Thanks

[She towels off.

ALLONDA is jumpy]

ALLONDA
Sorry about the mess

TAY
It’s all good

ALLONDA
Nah, it’s gross

[She tries to tidy up]

TAY
Everything cool?

ALLONDA
No, yeah.
 89

Just.
Not supposed to have people over, that’s all

TAY
Seriously?

ALLONDA
Yeah, I can get in trouble

TAY
Your mom sounds intense

ALLONDA
Justice ain’t my mom. Not my real mom.
I mean, she’s fine, but I had a real mom and she ain’t it.
She’s fine, though. She’s fine.
Justice and my mom, they was tight, like sisters, but not sisters. Like, not for real sisters. I
mean, I didn’t really get to know her too good, my real mom, but I know some things.
Like she had a lot of hair, real thick hair. I remember it, too. She used to let it down at night and
then wave it all over me, tickling me when I was lying in her bed. She kept it up during the day
and then let it down at night to braid it and in between taking it down and braiding it, she would
let it loose on me.
And it’d smell
like hair.
Her hair.
It was a good smell.

TAY
So.
She OD?

ALLONDA
The fuck, Tay.

TAY
What, what I say?

ALLONDA
No, she didn’t fuckin OD. Fuck you with that cliché shit.

TAY
I was just curious.

ALLONDA
She never did any of that shit. Ever.
Not even pot on the beach with her friends.
 90

TAY
Okay, okay!
Jesus.

[They sit in silence]

TAY
Sorry.

ALLONDA
Whatever.

TAY
You mad right now?

ALLONDA
Yeah.

TAY
Okay.
You want me to leave?

ALLONDA
She died because she got killed. This guy she was seeing, he got angry a lot. And I was too
little. And he was too big. And that’s why I like wrestling. Because it’s like they’re all
superheroes, kinda, except they’re real. Even though it’s all fake. I mean, the storylines are fake
and they do the moves so they all safe, but the power and the strength, they’re all real. Like, they
put on their uniforms and come out into the ring and they fight each other, the good guys versus
the bad guys. And I just wish I could’ve done that.
So now, now I will.
She was actually – my name was supposed to be Allondra. That’s why.
That’s the real reason why I. Chose it.
She said she was too out of it after she gave birth to me, misspelled it on the birth certificate.
Never got around to changing it.
But she always meant to change it.
I think I’m supposed to be Allondra.

TAY
Yeah.
I think you’re supposed to be, too.

[Awkward moment. She scoots closer to ALLONDA.

TAY and ALLONDA are close to one another on the couch. They can feel each other’s skin.
ALLONDA gets chatty]
 91

ALLONDA
Justice is a paralegal, but I’m gonna be a lawyer. I’m serious about it. I wanna get outta
Brooklyn.

TAY
You crazy? That ain’t trendy.
Everyone wants to move to Brooklyn

ALLONDA
Yeah, not me. I dunno where I wanna go, but I don’t wanna stay here. I wanna go somewhere
with green. With space to breathe. Without people ontop of each other. Everyone’s too close
here. I hear California’s nice.
TAY
Brooklyn’s my canvas.

[Pause]

TAY
I actually.
I hate going out to LaGuardia.
All the kids there, all stuck up. Looking at me like I should be something I’m not, trying to
figure me out and put me in a box and I love art but I hate it there.
I wish that Brooklyn could like osmosis inside of me or I can claim it or.
I dunno, something.
I tag so Brooklyn can know I’m here.
And that I ain’t never going nowhere.
So.
We’d never work then.
I love Brooklyn. I think I love it more than air.

ALLONDA
I’m not gay
So like, we wouldn’t work
because’a that, like, right off the bat.

TAY
I’m not gay, either
I hate that label
I’m not just into girls, you know
[she gets a text]
My mom’s home.

ALLONDA
You gonna go?

TAY
 92

You want me to go?

ALLONDA
You don’t gotta go if you don’t wanna

[they get closer and closer on the couch]

TAY
Still raining out there

ALLONDA
Yeah

TAY
Yeah

[They’re right next to each other, staring at one another]

ALLONDA
I can get you an umbrella

TAY
You want me to go?

ALLONDA
I’m gonna put my hand on your breast now.

TAY
[Nods]

ALLONDA
[Slowly moves her hand to Tay’s breast.]

[They keep staring.]

TAY
I’m gonna touch your face.

ALLONDA
I’m gonna touch your lips

[She touches Tay’s lips with her fingertips.]

TAY
we don’t hafta if you don’t wanna
 93

ALLONDA
[Grabs Tay’s head in her hands kisses her suddenly, deeply, passionately]

[They start to kiss, make out with all the passion their hormones can muster. TAY pulls
ALLONDA down onto the couch. ALLONDA is on top of her. TAY pulls her down, goes
ontop of ALLONDA.
TAY touches her]

TAY
Is this ok?

ALLONDA
[Nods]
[They keep on going and going as the door opens and JUSTICE enters.
It takes her a moment to realize what’s happening.]

JUSTICE
Allonda?

[The two fall apart.

TAY falls to the ground]

ALLONDA
Fuck

TAY
Oh shit

JUSTICE
Hi, nice to meet you,

ALLONDA
Justice –

JUSTICE
you may leave, now.

[TAY gathers up any shit that’s fallen off of her and she leaves.
JUSTICE turns back to ALLONDA.
ALLONDA doesn’t say anything.
They both don’t say anything.

Lights change; in silhouette, and in slow motion, we see JUSTICE and ALLONDA arguing
about what as PRETZEL appears. He seems more somber and serious than before. Their
silhouetted fight happens silently during PRETZEL’s commentary.]
 94

PRETZEL
This is Pretzel comin’ at you live from the Coney Island Houses on behalf of Rize Restling with
some breakin’ news and developments.
It pains us to share our final match of the season, scheduled to be a dope as fuck tag team
tournament will no longer be possible. Also Allondra has decided to retire, to focus on school
and shit. But nothin’ stops Rize, especially not the last show of season, so join us, Friday at 4pm
Eastern Standard Time for...something.

[during the silent, silhouetted fight, ALLONDA has moved over to the window of the apartment,
looking out the window and we enter into
 95

SCENE XIV
back in the tower

[ALLONDA is at the window. This could be the first scene again except she still has pink hair.
The apartment is messier than ever – paper plates and beer bottles hide in plain sight on the
couch, shirts are flung over the backs of chairs, on the floor, things are a mess.

The door opens and JUSTICE enters, wearing her work clothes.
ALLONDA doesn’t look at her.]

JUSTICE
Still mad at me?

ALLONDA
[shrugs]

JUSTICE
How long’s this gonna go on for

ALLONDA
[shrugs]

[JUSTICE takes in the sight of the dirty apartment.

Starts to pick some stuff up.]

JUSTICE
Would it kill you to pick up a plate

ALLONDA
Not my mess.

JUSTICE
Still your home

ALLONDA
Barely

JUSTICE
I don’t wanna start with you, Allonda, it’s been a long day.

ALLONDA
Yeah, been a long day here, too, doing nothing

JUSTICE
You could be cleaning –
 96

ALLONDA
I told you, it ain’t my mess! It’s all Mike’s shit, he should clean it up

JUSTICE
Mike’s got a job he goes to and comes back from everyday –

ALLONDA
Yeah, so do you!
You shouldn’t be cleaning up his shit,
He should be cleaning his shit!

[ALLONDA turns away from her, goes back to looking out the window.
JUSTICE nervously takes some folded-up papers out of her jacket pocket.
Sits on the couch.]

JUSTIICE
Hey
Come.
Sit with me for a second

ALLONDA
Why?

JUSTICE
I wanna talk to you.
Come on, Allonda, please.

[ALLONDA begrudgingly goes over to JUSTICE.

Sits on the couch but not near her.]

JUSTICE
So.
We gotta talk about the other day

ALLONDA
We really don’t

JUSTICE
We do.
I had a whole other kinda talk ready for you,
when you told me you was going on dates with a boy?
and I’ll be honest, I dunno how equipped I am for this kinda talk,
about being with a girl,
but I did some googling
 97

ALLONDA
Oh, god

JUSTICE
and I’m definitely not gonna be perfect, but according to the internet, that’s okay!
So you’re gonna have to bear with me, because I’m gonna try to give you this one instead

[JUSTICE unfolds the papers, getting ready]

ALLONDA
what do you mean instead

JUSTICE
you still gotta be safe

ALLONDA
Yeah but why’d you say instead,
you said you have to do this one instead of the other

JUSTICE
Because you like girls
and I support you,
but you still gotta be safe so -

ALLONDA
But
no
that’s
not it.

JUSTICE
You don’t like girls?

ALLONDA
No, I like girls.
But also.
I like boys, too.

JUSTICE
Oh, you’re still confused

ALLONDA
No, I’m not.
I’m not confused, I know.
I do know, I like both.
 98

JUSTICE
Yeah, but you won’t always

ALLONDA
Why not?

JUSTICE
‘Cause that’s just not how it is.
You’ll make a choice.
You’ll figure out your choice.
You seemed to really like that girl, though, so I’m still gonna talk to you about this –

[She tries to read from the paper again but ALLONDA stops her]

ALLONDA
No, but no,
no, it feels right.
This feels right.

[JUSTICE strokes ALLONDA’s hair]

JUSTICE
Your mom was that same way, when we was kids.

ALLONDA
My mom?

JUSTICE
Yeah, always loving after anything that had a heart beating deep.

ALLONDA
My mom was like me

JUSTICE
She grew out of it, though.
She grew out of it.
You’ll grow out of it.

[JUSTICE goes to hold ALLONDA’s hand.

ALLONDA pulls it away]

ALLONDA
Please let me go be with my friends, Justice,
please, they’re counting on me and I’m letting them down
 99

JUSTICE
I can’t

ALLONDA
Why not?!

JUSTICE
Your friends are wrestling, putting hands on each other, that ain’t right, it’s dangerous

ALLONDA
it’s not

JUSTICE
You can get hurt

ALLONDA
So what

JUSTICE
So I don’t want you to get hurt!
Do you understand, I don’t want you to get hurt!

ALLONDA
But I’m hurt already!
I ache everyday, I miss wrestling, I miss my friends,
I miss my mom.
Everyday I miss her and it hurts.
I love when you talk about her and I hate when you talk about her because it reminds me that it’s
all I’ve got of her. Words. I only got words. And words ain’t nothing. They don’t fit inside me,
they don’t hug me, they don’t yell at me, they’re nothing.
All the pain out there, what we do on the playground, those bruises and cuts and scrapes, that
ain’t nothing compared to that pain in here, inside me, it hurts.
That hurts and there ain’t no cure for it.
So don’t tell me you don’t want me to get hurt ‘cause I’m already hurt.
Just
leave me alone.

JUSTICE
Allonda

[She walks over to hug ALLONDA, but she just brushes her away]

ALLONDA
Leave me alone.

[JUSTICE leaves.
 100

ALLONDA looks out the window.

She looks at the door.
She looks out the window.
She looks at the door.
She walks towards the door.
Puts her hand on the knob.
She whispers]

ALLONDA
Sin miedo

[she leaves and walks right into the next scene.]

 101

SCENE XV
endings

[The five of them are on the beach again, after the big show.
PRETZEL takes out a joint and lights it. Breathes it in.
Passes it to TAY. She takes a hit.
Passes it to SPIDER. He takes a hit.
Passes it to KING. He takes a hit.
They skip ALLONDA because they know better.
After a moment]

PRETZEL
That was the most epic shit

TAY
I told you I could 619 off the swingset

KING
You almost broke the swings

SPIDER
Yeah but it was so cool

[beat]
KING
Man.
Fuck WWE.

PRETZEL
They did retweet us once

KING
Yeah, but they shoulda let me audition.

ALLONDA
They shoulda.

KING
I’m gonna start my own company

SPIDER
You already did

KING
Nah, I mean for real
Like, in life.
 102

Vince McMahon is going the fuck down,

won’t know what hit him

ALLONDA
Yeah.
You’ll do it.

KING
Yeah?

ALLONDA
For sure

[beat]

SPIDER
Thanks for breaking out

ALLONDA
Can’t do a tag team without teams.

TAY
When you showed up –

KING
People went crazy

ALLONDA
Yeah, they thought we did it on purpose, like that we planned it out
It was pretty dope.

[There’s the sound of waves]

PRETZEL
I didn’t do like.
Any of the summer reading.

TAY
That’s why God invented Sparknotes

PRETZEL
I don’t like reading Sparknotes neither

TAY
Just skim the themes and the characters, you’ll be fine
 103

PRETZEL
too many words

SPIDER
You still got like three days to read something

KING
How many’d you read?

SPIDER
All’a them

KING
ALL?

TAY
No Sparknotes?

SPIDER
Nope

PRETZEL
Nerd

ALLONDA
This was a good summer.

[beat]

SPIDER
Yeah.

PRETZEL
Yeah.

KING
Yeah

TAY
Yeah

ALLONDA
Yeah

[end of scene]
 104

SCENE XVI
the fearless one

[The living room. MIKE is standing there, his head out the window again.
He’s got a bottle of vodka next to him.
ALLONDA comes in.
Stops.
He speaks without looking at her]

MIKE
You’re in trouble

ALLONDA
How much

MIKE
A lot

ALLONDA
Shit

MIKE
She’s sleeping.
You’ve still got a few more hours of freedom

ALLONDA
Great.

[she starts to walk to her room]

MIKE
Air is cool tonight.
First cool night we’ve had since May.
Fall is rolling in.

ALLONDA
Yeah.
Almost time for school again.

MIKE
Come here, watch the sky with me. It’s nice tonight.
Can almost see stars.

ALLONDA
Can’t see the stars from the window.
 105

MIKE
Yes you can.
Come over here and try.

[ALLONDA walks over, looks out the window.

MIKE puts his arm around her pointing]

MIKE
See?
Right there.

ALLONDA
Oh, shit.
Yeah.

[They sit like that, still and watching.]

MIKE
You know, I was thinking about our conversation from a while back.
And I realized, I said the wrong word.
Invincible. That’s the word. Not fearless, invincible. That’s how you feel like, when you’re a
kid. You feel like you’re invincible, like nothing can touch you, like you could glide right
through walls, like your bones are made of rubber, like your skin is made of steel, like nothing
could touch you. You believe you can fly, that you can fly if you just find the right pocket of air
in the atmosphere, the right spot to put your foot and lift yourself into the sky
When you’re a kid, you’re invincible, but when you’re grown, you realize you’re not. You
realize you’ll never fly, that your bones can crack and your skin can break open and you can die.
You realize that stuff you thought could never touch you touches you. That you ain’t safe.

ALLONDA
I guess.

MIKE
Hey.
Come on, let’s dance.

ALLONDA
There ain’t no music

MIKE
Nah, there is.
You just gotta listen for it.
Shh, you hear?

[He takes her and starts to dance.

She gives in a little
 106

But doesn’t really like it]

ALLONDA
I’m actually.
I’m tired

[MIKE doesn’t let her go,

twirls her instead]

MIKE
Shhh, you don’t wanna wake Justice, do you

ALLONDA
Come on Mike, I wanna go to bed

MIKE
I’ll go with you.

[scary beat]

MIKE
I’m just kidding!
I’m kidding, come on, just a joke, a joke

[He comes closer to her. She swats him away]

MIKE
Come on, I’m just playing.
Let’s play – you wanna wrestle?

ALLONDA
No

MIKE
Come on, you can teach me some things.
Teach me.
You’re good, just show me some moves.

[She doesn’t want to, but he wants her to.

He swats at her playfully dangerous.
She tries to resist, tries to walk by him but
he keeps on not letting her.]

ALLONDA
Stop
 107

MIKE
I’m just playing around!
We’re just playing,
let’s wrestle

[And so they wrestle but it’s for real, it’s not practiced, it’s not a joke, she’s fighting for her life.
He suddenly stops, puts his hands on his hips.]

MIKE
Sin miedo

[He laughs; he thinks he’s being hilarious.

He goes to grabs her but she sidesteps him,
he trips over air.]

ALLONDA
Leave me alone

[She makes her way to the door, tries to get out, but he’s faster.
They start to fight,
he grabs her ankle, drags her away from the door,
she slaps him
he grabs her wrist
but she’s able to twist out of it.
He grabs her by the back of the neck,
knocks her down.]

MIKE
Sin miedo

[She kicks at his knees from the ground,

he goes down
ALLONDRA gets up, stands over him,
puts her hands on her hips]

ALLONDRA
Sin
miedo

[She starts to walk towards the door again,

MIKE grabs her foot, she goes down.
He pulls her towards him,
gets on top of her.
He’s got his hand over her mouth]
 108

MIKE
Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,
we’re both adults,
this is what adults do,
this is just what adults do

[He takes his hand off her mouth to unbuckle his pants,
while his hands are occupied,
ALLONDRA wraps her hands around his head,
pulls it towards her mouth,
bites his ear
He screams, grabs his ear in pain,
she kicks out from under him,
nails him in the fucking dick,
smashes it like the slug it is.
He screams like a child.
Crumples like a bug.
Twists and moans.
She gets up, stands over him.
Kicks him.

JUSTICE appears during the following,

phone in hand
she takes in the scene.
dials 911 at some point]

ALLONDRA
No, no, NO
Fuck you, Mike, fuck you,
you don’t get to hurt me,
You do not get to hurt me
I’m NOT gonna let you hurt me,
You hear me?!
YOU do NOT get to hurt me, not today, NO.
The world is full’a danger and the world is full’a hurt and I know, I know I won’t always be
untouchable, I’m not invincible, but today?
Today I am. Today I get to be.
And you don’t get to take that shit away from me,
you don’t get to take nothing away from me, because I’m not gonna let you
I’m not gonna let you!
I will fight and I’m gonna keep fighting with every breath in my body,
Because I ain’t afraid’a you.
I ain’t afraid’a no one.
I am the fearless one.

Sirens in the distance

 109

JUSTICE starts to move towards them

but the lights black out around her and MIKE

spotlight on ALLONDRA as she raises her hands to the sky

as we hear the sound of a crowd, cheering.

Because Allondra has entered the ring.

Because Allondra is here.

Blackout
End of play.