Scene Study Emergency Pack Vol 2

SCENESTUDY
EME RGENCYPACK
s
hor
tpl
aysf
orr
emot
esc
enes
tudy
VOL
UME2
[1]
SCENE STUDY EMERGENCY PACK

VOLUME 2
The Scene Study Emergency Pack is a collection of short plays written or adapted to be used for scene
study in a remote learning environment – where part of the given circumstances of the play is that the
characters are communicating from separate locations via Skype/FaceTime/etc.
These plays can be rehearsed by actors at separate locations via those apps, and presented in a Zoom
(or other remote learning) virtual classroom.
We are very grateful to the playwrights who have contributed to this second volume of the Scene Study
Emergency Pack.
IN THIS VOLUME:
In the MeanTime by Sharon E. Cooper pg. 2

(1 male, 1 female)
Lifestyle Content by Lia Romeo pg. 14

(4 females)
Zoom by Israel Horovitz pg. 26

(2 males)
The Spaceship Lands on Christmas by Sydney Painter pg. 30

(1 male, 1 female)
Our Friends by Joan Lipkin pg. 35

(2 females)
Scene from i by Jeff Talbott pg. 40

(2 females)
I Dream Before I Take the Stand by Arlene Hutton pg. 50

(1 male, 1 females)
Together, Even When You’re Not by Kitt Lavoie pg. 81

(2 males, 1 female – 1 female and 1 [unseen] male are at the same location)
Conference Call by Pete Barry pg. 101

(2 males, 2 females)
Last Call by Lia Romeo pg. 108

(1 male, 1 female)
A Dave with Destiny by Ken Preuss pg. 119

(1 male, 1 female)
The COVIDs of March by Nate Beyer, Caitlin Cieri, Katie Doyle, Ken Green, pg. 126
Scott Kremer, Donald Loftus, Colleen Porter, and Irene L. Pynn
based on an idea by Greg Lam
(2 male, 4 female – with scenes with subsets of the cast, including duet scenes)
[2]
I
ntheMe
anT
ime
byShar
onE.Coope
r
[3]
CHARACTERS
Stephanie Mullins, 31 F. Daycare worker, quirky, likes to

think out loud, aware of her
biological clock, aware of everything
Paul Alexander, 37 M. Accountant, always irons his button-

down shirts, well-read, usually
moves slowly into relationships
SETTING
New York City.
TIME
The present.
Notes:
“In the MeanTime” was originally workshopped and produced by the Milk Can Theatre
Company as part of the “Receipt Plays” at the Sande Shurin Theatre. All playwrights
randomly chose a receipt and wrote a short play inspired by that receipt. My receipt had
items on it that are referenced in the play as well as the location that is referred to in the
play.
“In The MeanTime” has had dozens of productions, across the U.S. as well as in the
Netherlands and England. The play was adapted in March of 2020. If interested in seeing
the original, please contact the playwright.
[4]
Two people are speaking remotely in

separate rooms.
STEPHANIE, 31, in a living room, has done

her best to make the apartment feel like
“home.” She sits with hard copies of receipts
all around her. Stephanie has her computer
open in front of her.
PAUL, 37, in a bedroom, has had enough.

He speaks into his phone.
PAUL
Put the receipts down!
STEPHANIE
Why is it that we always ordered Chinese food?
PAUL
There’s really no point in all of this, is there?
STEPHANIE
Do you remember when we drove to Framingham, Massachusetts? And we went to A.C.
Moore on One Wuster Road?--Oh, look! I bought ten purple pens to brighten up this
apartment.
PAUL
Pens do not brighten up an apartment!
STEPHANIE
They can—if you write sweet notes with them!
PAUL
You can keep all the pens, all the receipts. You can keep anything—
STEPHANIE
You know, the sales tax in Framingham is only 5%.
PAUL
There’s a reason for that.
STEPHANIE
And it’s over 8% here.
PAUL
There’s a reason for that, too.
[5]
STEPHANIE
(Showing him the receipt from her computer) Forty ounces of cleaner spray, $4.75. No
wonder we bought that there. Maybe if we lived there, it would have worked out. More
space. And less sales tax.
PAUL
We’re not breaking up because of the sales tax. This was impulsive.
STEPHANIE
That’s not why people break up.
PAUL
In our case, it is. We moved in together right away; we cut our rent in half. And our bills.
STEPHANIE
We moved in together because you wanted less on your receipts?
PAUL
And that hasn’t worked out at all. You buy all of these ridiculous things that no one
needs.
STEPHANIE
That’s not true.
He sees the receipt in her hand.
PAUL
Kaleidoscope Birthstone Stationary. A denim pencil case. Tweety bird.
STEPHANIE
All of those things have made this place more homey. Besides, I bought them on our
anniversary trip to Framingham.
PAUL
Yes, our one-month anniversary trip to Framingham.
STEPHANIE
Things happen quickly in this city! People walk fast, talk fast, eat fast, and it was so cold
this winter. Last month, I went to the gynecologist—
PAUL
I really don’t need to know—
[6]
STEPHANIE
We are having the break up conversation. You are breaking up with me. That means I can
talk about whatever I want. Those are the rules. So shut the fuck up and listen to
whatever I have to say.
PAUL
I’ll give you six minutes. That seems about right for a three-month relationship.
STEPHANIE
Fine. So I’m in the gynecologist office—
PAUL
Wait a minute—
He slides his hand over the phone.
STEPHANIE
Hey. Where’d you go? What are you doing?
PAUL
Setting the timer. And—go.
STEPHANIE
You’re such an asshole. No wonder I’m breaking up with you.
PAUL (overlapping)
I’m breaking up with you!
STEPHANIE (overlapping)
Well, first of all, the room where they –check you out—
PAUL
Check you out?
STEPHANIE
I was trying not to say “give you a pap smear.” They weigh me with all my clothes on,
including my boots. I weigh myself again when all I’m wearing is this hideous hospital
gown. Four pounds. All day long, I’m wearing four pounds of clothes. I felt so weighed
down. I felt—
PAUL (overlapping)
I’m not fond of winter either. But you’ve been here your whole life. I’m the one from
California. I’m the one--
Hey—this isn’t about you. I only have six minutes.
[7]
He looks down at the timer.
PAUL
Five.
STEPHANIE
So there’s no space, nowhere to put your clothes—I hide my bra and underwear between
my long johns and my long sleeved shirt, because you don’t want this woman, the ob-
gyn, to have to see your underwear even though she’s going to put this silver prong up
your vagina and I was worried because I had to have a cyst removed from my ovary
when I was 18; it was the size of a softball--
PAUL
You never told me that.
STEPHANIE
She didn’t feel a cyst, which was a relief. I asked her if I should stop taking my birth
control pills.
PAUL
Why would you do that when--
STEPHANIE
Because I wanted to get pregnant.
PAUL
Woah, Woah, What? Are you--Have you not been—
Don’t panic, commitment phobe—I didn’t mean I wanted to get pregnant with you. It has
nothing to do with you.
PAUL (overlapping)
Of course it has nothing to do with me. I’m just the person you were having sex with.
I wanted to get pregnant. Me. ME! I was asking if it was a problem that I’ve been on the
pill since I was 15 and I’m now 31. That’s half my life.
PAUL
It’s actually more than—
STEPHANIE
Shut up, you fucking accountant. So (composing herself) I asked, does that affect my
chances of--
[8]
PAUL
Does it?
STEPHANIE
She said that people worry about the pill suppressing ovulation. She said it used to be that
women spent most of their lives pregnant or nursing, and therefore—not ovulating. And
get this. I spent $314 for six minutes of her time, so she could tell me what’s not normal
is to be 31 and not already have children. In New York City. Where no one has children-
-
PAUL
She just meant historically. Or because of your clock.
STEPHANIE
I started doing the math. I mean, I’m not old like you—
PAUL
I’m 37--
STEPHANIE
Exactly. And I wanted to have one child by the time I’m 35.
PAUL
You’re only 31! And 37 is not old.
STEPHANIE
35. With one child. I wanted to be married two years before I have a child. 33. You’re
engaged a year. 32. You date for a year before that. 31. 31! This is the year I was
supposed to find the father of my child, and I wasted my time on you.
PAUL
I’m breaking up with you. You’re supposed to take these (looking down) four minutes to
convince me to stay with you. And you’re doing a lousy job. And you forgot about the
nine months of pregnancy. You should already be with your future husband. Oh well.
STEPHANIE
The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. I am currently indifferent towards you.
And by the way, I’m not from New York. I’m from Framingham.
PAUL
No. That was a road trip. You said, “We’ll pick a direction and see where we end up.”
STEPHANIE
I wanted to see what it was like to have you in my hometown.
[9]
PAUL
And how was it?
STEPHANIE
Cold. Just like here.
PAUL
You’re just saying that to be mean. When people break up, they have to say stuff they
regret later. Those are part of the rules, too. How could you lie about where you’re from?
STEPHANIE
How could you call my hometown Hickville?
PAUL
I didn’t even know you were from there.
STEPHANIE
Exactly.
PAUL
Can I have the last three minutes?
STEPHANIE
No.
PAUL
I wasn’t with you just so we could cut our receipts in half.
STEPHANIE
Neither was I . . . I also wanted someone to have sex with—
PAUL
Come on.
STEPHANIE
Isn’t that what we’re all doing? I mean—in the meantime--until we find the right one.
Making a decision that it’s better to share a bed than save space for someone who’s not
there.
PAUL
(a moment) Why do you keep all of these receipts?
STEPHANIE
We are breaking up—what do you care?
[10]
PAUL
I do.
STEPHANIE
My mother left my father when I was four. After she left, Dad didn’t have the energy to
pick me up, so he started using our photo albums as step stools—they were everywhere—
in the bathroom, by the sink, next to the refrigerator, by the doors. I keep receipts. When
things don’t work out, you just recycle.
Stephanie slumps down, her back on the

wall, her computer in her lap.
PAUL
We’ve lived together for two months, and I didn’t know any of that about you. And you
don’t know my father died when I was seventeen, and I had to put off going to college
because my mother didn’t want to be alone. And you don’t know that I hate almond
butter. I really fucking hate it.
STEPHANIE
I was trying to save us money by packing your lunch.
PAUL
I didn’t move in with you for your lunch making skills.
STEPHANIE
Then why did you?
PAUL
You’re pretty.
STEPHANIE
Gee, thanks.
PAUL
And you make me laugh. And when we walked into a room, before, people wished they
were me.
STEPHANIE
Because I’m pretty.
PAUL
Because we were laughing.
STEPHANIE
But you don’t love me.
[11]
PAUL
Stephanie, I don’t really know you. Well, now I know where you’re from. I know you
went to the gynecologist. I know about the receipts, your mother. I know you feel
weighed down in winter.
STEPHANIE
It’s not just winter. This is the most weighed down spring of my life.
PAUL
Me, too. Is there anything else I need to know?
STEPHANIE
What, before we break up?
PAUL
Yeah.
STEPHANIE
You need to know where you’re moving. The lease is in my name.
PAUL
Stop trying to win me back. And you know I can’t move anywhere. Not now.
STEPHANIE
At least you did my taxes this year—so it wasn’t a total loss.
PAUL
It was easy. You saved the receipts. . .You think 37 is old?
STEPHANIE
Your sperm isn’t getting any younger. You want to have children?
PAUL
What if I told you I already do?
STEPHANIE
You’re kidding—right?
PAUL
Right. I wouldn’t want to be fifty when they’d run around Central Park with a baseball.
And sixty-five when they leave the house. I’d be retiring and celebrating their graduation
at the same time.
STEPHANIE
No one retires at sixty-five anymore.
[12]
The timer goes off.
PAUL
I guess we’re out of time.
STEPHANIE
That was my time. My six minutes.
PAUL
I could set the timer again.
STEPHANIE
(a moment and then) What was it like, when your dad died?
PAUL
I couldn’t believe he wasn’t coming back; I know that’s what happens when people die—
they don’t come back.
STEPHANIE
He didn’t have a choice.
PAUL
Your mother never came back, did she?
STEPHANIE
I’m really sorry. About the almond butter. I didn’t know.
PAUL
Can I—come in?
STEPHANIE
We agreed. It’s not safe. I have asthma.
Paul looks through his phone.
PAUL
Well, then, in a three days? In three days, it’ll be 14 days since I’ve gone anywhere. This
one bedroom apartment we live in--
A converted one-bedroom—
PAUL
Feels so small suddenly.
STEPHANIE
[13]
I didn’t know that shitty road trip was going to be the last one. I miss the conservatory
garden at Central Park. And enjoying picking out groceries. I used to love shopping. And
I didn’t know the OBGYN appointment would be my last appointment. (laughing and
then in tears) I never thought I’d be reminiscing about the OBGYN. And I can’t imagine
having a kid now.
PAUL
Come here.
Paul puts his hand on the phone. She puts

her hand on the computer.
He takes a screenshot from his phone.
What are you doing?
PAUL
Taking our picture. I’ll see you in three days.
STEPHANIE
In three days.
Lights fade to Black. End of Play.

[14]
L
ife
sty
leCont
ent
byL
iaRome
o
[15]
Characters
KIM, 20s, female

KATIE, 20s, female
KELLY, 20s, female
RACHEL, 30s, female
Setting
A conference call
Time
The future, or something like it

[16]
(KIM, KATIE, KELLY, and RACHEL are on a conference call.
KATIE, KELLY, and RACHEL are wearing cute outfits, makeup,

hair and nails done. They look like exactly what they are – staffers
at a popular women’s fashion and lifestyle website.
KIM is wearing sweats and has her hair in a messy ponytail.)
RACHEL
Okay. Kelly. Go.
KELLY
Okay. Um.
How To Give Yourself an At-Home Manicure.
RACHEL
Didn’t we do that last week?
KELLY
No, I don’t – I don’t think so.
KATIE
We did, we did at-home manicures last week.
KELLY
Really?
I’m sorry. I guess there’s just so much that’s happened since then.
RACHEL
What else?
KELLY
Okay.
Five Fitness Influencers With Killer Workout Videos.
RACHEL
Hmm, I don’t like the word killer, but that sounds…
KATIE
Vogue literally had that story up on their site on Tuesday.
KELLY
Really?
[17]
KATIE
Yeah.
KELLY
Okay, well… we could feature different influencers?
KATIE
There aren’t really that many options at this point.
KELLY
But I mean, there are more than five, right?
There’ve got to be more than five. Right?
RACHEL
Let it go, Kelly.
What else have you got?
KELLY
Um. Something on loungewear sets?
RACHEL
Have we done loungewear sets?
KATIE
The Sweet Life did loungewear sets.
Before they –
RACHEL
Are you doing your market research, Kelly?
KELLY
I’m – I’m trying, it’s just –
RACHEL
Katie. Tell me you have something better.
KATIE
Yes. Okay.
I was thinking a video tutorial… of how to play Stairway to Heaven on the ukulele.
RACHEL
Hmm. That’s promising. Ukelele-related content’s been performing really well.
Do you know how to play Stairway to Heaven?
KATIE
I do – I taught myself last week.
[18]
RACHEL
Great. That’s in. What else?
KATIE
Stuck Inside? Don’t Lose Your Hard-Earned Tan.
It’s a piece on how to make DIY self-tanner out of dirt and rancid butter.
RACHEL
Does that actually work?
KATIE
(turning her head from side to side)
Do I look tan to you?
RACHEL
You do, Katie – you do look very tan.
Great. What else?
KATIE
All Out of Mixers? Ten Yummy Cocktails to Make With Your Own Urine.
RACHEL
Have you tried that?
KATIE
I used it in a French 75 last night. Not as good as lemon juice, but honestly not bad.
RACHEL
Great. Really nice work, Katie – these are all right on brand in terms of providing the kind of
relatable yet aspirational lifestyle content we’re known for, and modifying it to be appropriate
for the current circumstances.
(KELLY sulks. KATIE beams.)
Kim. How about you? What have you got?
KIM
Shit.
RACHEL
Interesting, tell me more…
KIM
Huh?
[19]
RACHEL
What are we doing with shit?
Making probiotic pills?
Polishing furniture?
Using it as eyeliner?
KIM
No I mean, I’ve got shit.
I’ve got nothing.
(KELLY and KATIE are shocked.)
RACHEL
Nothing?
KIM
Nothing.
RACHEL
Kim, you know our readers are relying on us to help them get through these challenging times
with poise and style.
KIM
Are they though?
RACHEL
Kim, we talked about this, when everything first –
We agreed that our readers were really going to want to lean in to self-improvement during this
difficult –
KIM
How many of us were at that first meeting? When we agreed that?
RACHEL
What?
KIM
How many staffers?
[20]
RACHEL
I don’t know… twenty?
KIM
And how many are left?
(Beat.)
RACHEL
The fact that there are only a few of us staffing the site right now just means it’s even more
important to come prepared with innovative ideas for content –
KIM
Important for who?
How many people do you think are still out there reading?
RACHEL
Okay, it’s true that our metrics have been down in the past few days. But I’m confident we can
get those numbers back up if we just –
KIM
Are you insane?
I mean I was there with you, I really was. Up until – I don’t know, a couple of days ago.
But everything just keeps getting worse, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get better, and
we’re all stuck inside our little bunkers just waiting for this to –
RACHEL
Kim –
KIM
So it’s the end of the world, pretty much, and you think people really want to read about how to
improve themselves right now?
RACHEL
Kim, maybe you want to refer back to Katie’s piece from Wednesday:
Five Ways to Maintain a Positive Attitude In the Face of a Slow and Horrible Death.
KIM
Yeah, no, I don’t. I really don’t.
[21]
RACHEL
I understand that things are – well, they’re very –
But you know what they say – the show must go on –
KIM
Well, maybe they’re wrong.
Maybe sometimes the show doesn’t need to go on.
Maybe sometimes the show should just… stop.
RACHEL
Okay, so I don’t necessarily feel like this meeting is going in a productive direction.
Maybe we should adjourn for now – Katie, you can get started on that ukulele video – and we
can reconvene in a couple of hours. And hopefully Kim and Kelly will have come up with some
creative ideas for new content by then.
KIM
I’m not going to reconvene in a couple of hours.
I only came on this call to tell you all I’m done.
(KELLY and KATIE are shocked.)
KELLY
Kim – you can’t – our readers need us –
KIM
What readers?
Do you honestly think we still have any readers?
KELLY
I – I don’t know, I mean – I think so?
I don’t have access to the numbers – Rachel’s the only one who has access to the numbers –
KIM
And why do you think that is?
KELLY
Because she’s the editor-in-chief?
KIM
She’s not the editor-in-chief! Two weeks ago she was an assistant copywriter!
[22]
And Kelly, you did something with graphics, right? – and Katie was a customer service rep.
KATIE
Reader experience concierge.
KIM
Whatever. And me? I answered phones at the office.
You know, back when we had an office.
You know, back when we had a world.
(Beat.)
RACHEL
Okay. So you’re right. Two weeks I wasn’t an editor.
But I wanted to be. We all did. That’s why we worked here, taking whatever jobs we could get,
planning to work our way up.
KIM
Yeah, well, I think it’s probably time for a change of plan.
RACHEL
To what? What else are we going to do?
I thought about converting the site to survival advice, but there are already so many people doing
that, and doing it better. If they all go offline, and we’re somehow still here, I’ve got a plan in
place to pivot to that kind of content. But until that happens, I’m not particularly interested in
sitting in my room alone and waiting to die, are you?
I mean, you’re right. I don’t know how long we’ll have readers. I don’t know how long we’ll
have internet. I don’t even know how long we’ll have power. But for as long as we do, I want to
keep delivering wellness and beauty and lifestyle tips to help make life a little sweeter, especially
at a time when it isn’t very sweet at all.
I think at times like this, it’s important not just to try to stay alive, but to try to stay human. And
sometimes that means making eyeliner out of poop.
(Beat. KATIE starts clapping. She waits for KELLY and KIM to join in. They
don’t.)
KATIE
[23]
Thank you, Rachel – thank you so much. I think that’s exactly the kind of inspirational
leadership we need right now.
(Beat.)
KIM
I think you’re all out of your minds. Good luck.
(KIM exits the call.)
KELLY
Whoa.
KATIE
We don’t need her anyway, Rachel.
She’s just bringing all of us down. And it’s – like you said, it’s so important to try to stay
positive when things are –
KELLY
I don’t know, maybe she’s right.
(KATIE and RACHEL are shocked.)
Or – maybe not right, but she’s not completely wrong.
I mean maybe there’s some kind of… middle ground, something in between giving up and
pretending like everything’s just the same – except, you know, more horrible.
Maybe we aren’t losing readers because they’re – well.
Maybe we’re losing them because we’re not giving them what they want.
RACHEL
Tell me more…
KELLY
Well… maybe we ought to have some content that just… acknowledges where we are. Some
content says that if it makes you feel good to think about makeup, and cocktails, and learning to
play the ukulele, that’s okay…
And if it doesn’t, then that’s okay too… you know?
[24]
RACHEL
Something more practical.
KELLY
Um. Kind of.
KATIE
Ten Tasty Casseroles You Can Make Out of Rats.
KELLY
Um. No.
More like… here’s where we are… and it’s… really, really hard… and you should do whatever
makes you feel better. Whether that’s… making casseroles out of rats… or not.
(Beat. RACHEL thinks, then)
RACHEL
Okay, Kelly, I like it. This is the kind of creative, out-of-the-box thinking that makes a great
editor. Good job.
(KELLY beams. KATIE sulks.)
Katie, we’ll still do the ukulele, but let’s hold off on the self-tanner for now. And Kelly, you can
get started on the rats –
KELLY
Oh – no, I don’t think we should do the rats –
KATIE
How about:
Ten Tasty Casseroles You Can Make Out of Rats… But You Don’t Have To.
KELLY
Um.
RACHEL
Perfect!
Okay, so what are you both still doing on the call? We’ve got a lot of important work to do.
Let’s get started.
[25]
(RACHEL exits the call.
KELLY exits the call.
KATIE picks up her ukulele and begins to pluck out “Stairway to Heaven” as the
lights go down, or the credits roll, or the sound fades out.)
END OF PLAY
[26]
Z
oom
byI
srae
lHor
ovi
tz
[27]
Play takes place using a software ZOOM ... or

another that allows multiple windows.
Start play with TWO WINDOWS. FRANK is in

WINDOW#1.
WINDOW #2 opens. We meet ALEX.
ALEX
Hey. What’s up?
FRANK
I’ve got some shitty news.
ALEX
Oh, wow. Positive?
FRANK
Positive. My doctor just called me. You and the guys better get tested.
ALEX
That’s sucks. I’ve got a sore throat and I’ve been coughing.
FRANK
That’s how mine started.
ALEX
I just spoke to Mike. He’s coughing, too.
FRANK
Can you call them? I’m feeling really bad, man. We were all way too close to each
other at band practice.
ALEX
No probs, Frank. Feel better. Let me know if you need anything.
FRANK
You’d better stay in for a while.
ALEX
Yuh, sure. I’ll be careful.
FRANK
Thanks, man. Sorry about this.
FRANK’s window closes.
ALEX hits keys on his computer.

WINDOWS #3-#6 OPEN.
[28]
We meet: ROG, ROB and WINSTON.
ALEX
Yo.
ROG
What’s up?
ALEX
Not good. Frank tested positive.
ROB
No shit?
WINSTON
Is he coughing? I’ve got a monster headache and I’m coughing nonstop.
ROG
This is bad. I’m feeling really bad and I was out with Amy and her brother, last night.
ROB
I was at Timmy’s place. There were a bunch of us. This is bad. I’m coughing and my
chest is hurting. I think I may have it.
The FOUR WINDOWS suddenly multiply into

TWENTY WINDOWS. WE HEAR: IMPROVISED
VOICES OF COMPLAINT, over the image.
VOICES
I’m wicked sick...
I’m havin’ trouble breathing...
I’m coughing like crazy...
Etc.
MORE IMPROVISED VOICES OF COMPLAINT join

in.
WINDOWS multiply into SIXTY WINDOWS.
Beat.
SIXTY WINDOWS multiply into HUNDREDS of

WINDOWS.
CACOPHONY OF COMPLAINT continues over

image.
And then...
[29]
BLACK.
END OF PLAY.
© Israel Horovitz 2020

[30]
T
heSpac
eshi
pLandsonChr
ist
mas
bySy
dne
yPai
nte
r
[31]
The Spaceship Lands on Christmas

by Sydney Painter
PIPER and JOEY are astronauts. They speak by video from different parts of the ship.
Joey 6 more days.

Piper: I know. I know that.
Joey I can’t wait.
Piper: Yeah me neither.
Joey We’ll get a real Christmas this year. That’ll be nice.
Piper: Hanukkah, yeah.
Joey Right! Hanukkah!
Piper: Yeah though.
Joey Remember food? And gravity?
Piper: Barely. Are you going to miss me?
Joey Well yeah, of course. I mean yeah.
Piper: My nephews are going to be so excited to see me. I am going to tell them so many awesome
lies.
Joey Yeah.
Piper: We’re going to be heroes. Celebrities.
Joey Yeah!
Piper: For about 5 minutes.
Joey Yeah.
Pause.
Joey I’m a little scared.

Piper: No, it’ll be fine.
Joey I know.
Piper: Joey, are we a thing on Earth?
Joey Oh, uh.
Piper: It’s ok. I get it.
Joey Piper, I’m sorry.
Piper: Are you even going to tell her?
[32]
Joey No. I’m not. I think I can’t.

Piper: Oh, ok.
Joey Are you going to? Tell?
Piper: What? No. As tempting as it’ll be to brag about floating sex.
Joey Piper.
Piper: Don’t worry. I got you.
Joey Thank you, Piper.
Pause.
Piper: What are you the most excited for?

Joey You go first.
Piper: Pasta. Pasta, I think. And puppies. Strangers. Remember strangers? So many chances, so
many different things could happen. Unplanned for things.
Joey Unplanned for things could happen here.
Piper: I mean yeah I guess.
Joey We could run out of air, or contaminate all the samples. We could spring a leak and our
brains could explode. Tiny malfunctions could freeze or cook us to death in seconds.
Piper: Yeah, I know.
Joey I know you know I’m just saying.
Piper: Well, stop. You don’t have to.
Joey Fine.
Piper: I’m up here, too, Joey; you don’t have to be like that.
Joey I was just saying.
Piper: And I’m just saying you’re being kind of dick right now.
Joey I don’t think I’m being a dick.
Piper: You should tell your wife.
Joey What? Why?
Piper: You just should.
Joey I can’t.
Piper: Then don’t. Whatever. I’ll keep your secret.
Joey Can you just stop for second. I can’t talk about her.
Piper: Fine. That’s fine.
Joey I just can’t think about that.
[33]
Piper: What’s happening right now?

Joey I don’t want to go back. I really don’t want to. Oh man. I don’t want this. I think it’s a lot
better up here. I really just want to stay here. You’re the only person I want to know for the
rest of my life.
Piper: Joey—
Joey I’m freaking out!
Piper: Yes I know. Stop it.
Joey Piper. I can’t. I really don’t want to go back, but every day I wake up and there’s a day less
up here. Oh man remember when time had to do with light? I can’t live that way! And
there’s no way, there’s no way to stop it.
Piper: Stop what?
Joey I don’t know! The panic! Oh man, I’ve messed up so bad.
Piper: You mean me?
Joey No, no, shut up, I mean in a much bigger sense. I live in space. I don’t know how I’m ever
going to fix this.
Piper: Fix what?
Joey Fix what! We’re going home! How are you ok with that?
Piper: Because it’s time to go home, Joey.
Joey Can we stay here? Just us. Until we dissolve.
Piper: No, Joey, that’s insane.
Joey It’s not! Why? Because it’s not the plan? You just said you miss unplanned for things.
Piper: Because it’s suicide, dumbass. Suicide is insane.
Joey Going back is suicide! People die down there! Out here who knows? We can call it what we
want. It’s only insane because you’re not thinking about it for real.
Piper: I’m not done down there, Joey! You can’t decide this for both of us.
Joey I can’t go back there.
Piper: Drop me off and come back if you have to. I’m going home and opening my Hanukkah
presents.
Joey That’s not what I mean. Piper, stay with me. Up here.
Piper: Joey, no. You’re not worth it.
Joey There’s nothing down there.
Piper: Joey. There’s nothing up here. Maybe you think there’s nothing down there for you, but it’s
just a scientific fact that there is nothing up here. For either of us.
[34]
Pause. Joey opens his mouth. Pause.
Piper: Joey? Pop a Xanex. We’re going home.
Piper floats away. Joey is alone.
End of play.
[35]
OurF
rie
nds
byJ
oanL
ipki
n
[36]
Characters:
Alison – female, late 20’s to mid 40’s
Samantha – female, late 20’s to mid 40’s
Time: A week after the massacre in Orlando.
About the pace: Even in this short play, there are a lot of rhythms that shift. Overlapping,
interrupting, pausing to find the right word or risk the next moment as this couple
individually and collectively struggles with how to deal with the aftermath of the
massacre and what it means for various relationships, including their own.
[37]
Samantha and Alison speak via FaceTime.
SAMANTHA
What do you mean, you can’t go?
ALISON
Oh, so I should just eat dinner and make some fucking small talk? About what, Pokemon? Or
listen to Kevin make the same jokes again?
SAMANTHA
Well, that’s what friends do, Alison. They hang out and talk about Pokemon.
ALISON
Right. Small talk.
SAMANTHA
Small talk…isn’t small. Especially after something like Orlando. Or maybe the smallness is what
makes it big.
ALISON
Uh huh.
SAMANTHA
Maybe it's like this big blanket that covers us. We wrap ourselves up in it.
ALISON
In the banality.
SAMANTHA
In the predictability of it. You know that Kevin’s going to tell the same stupid jokes. But I kind of
like that. It comforts me.
ALISON
Yeah, well, you know what would comfort, me, Sam? If someone said something. A note. A
phone call. A fucking post on Facebook. You know, “I’m so sorry. How are you doing?" Or,
"That must have been so frightening. How terrible to invade your space.” Nothing. Nada. Zip.
SAMANTHA
Yeah. Well…
ALISON
Kevin. Rachel. Darin. Scott. Sara.---
(Samantha interrupts)
[38]
SAMANTHA
Stop, Ally. You'll just get all worked up again.
ALISON
(continuing)
Laura. Michael. Michael Abbott. Michael Cunningham. Michael Rose.
SAMANTHA
(overlapping)
Jesus, Ally. Are you going to name everyone we know?
ALISON
(overlapping, she is on a roll)
My brother. Your brother. My sister. Your cousin ---
SAMANTHA
(interrupting)
Ally, please.
ALISON
For fuck’s sake!
SAMANTHA
You have got to relax.
ALISON
But I can’t sleep.
SAMANTHA
I know. You kept me up half the night.
ALISON
I kept seeing their faces. So young. They had barely started their lives.
SAMANTHA
I know.
ALISON
And they go to the one place where they can really be themselves…. Dance. Cut loose. Maybe
hook up.
SAMANTHA
Ally, please.
[39]
ALISON
(Back to the tragedy of it all)
It’s like we don’t exist…. We don’t exist. I thought Kevin was different.
SAMANTHA
Of course we exist. And Kevin is not a bigot. He’s our friend and he loves us.
ALISON
So, why nothing?
SAMANTHA
Maybe they don’t know what to say. Maybe they are so afraid of saying the wrong thing that
they don’t say anything. Not because they don’t care.
ALISON
Maybe.
SAMANTHA
Come on, honey. Just see what happens are dinner tonight, please.
ALISON
And wait to see if they bring it up?
SAMANTHA
Well, you could bring it up.
ALISON
Oh, so now it is incumbent on me to do it. To do the heavy lifting.
SAMANTHA
Ally, please. You’re not the only one who is struggling. I need some normalcy around here. I
need Kevin’s stupid jokes and Sara’s mac and cheese.
ALISON
I can’t. Maybe next week. Or...next month.
SAMANTHA
But these are our friends.
ALISON
Really? A real friend would have called. You go. You.
Alison disconnects.
END.
[40]
scenef
rom
i
byJ
effT
albot
t
[41]
A scene from
i
by Jeff Talbott
[i is the story of SARAH. In the near future,

after suffering a devastating loss, she escapes
to a new city and undertakes a bold new medical
procedure that removes her painful memories.
After the new man she is dating leaves her in a
restaurant in the middle of a strange, painful
date, SARAH calls her mother, VIRGINIA.]
(SARAH is alone. She takes out her cell and

dials. VIRGINIA appears, answering and holding
her cell in front of her.)
VIRGINIA
What’s wrong?
SARAH
Nothing’s wrong, Mom. I just--
VIRGINIA
You called. Something’s wrong.
SARAH
That’s not always true.
VIRGINIA
It’s truer than gravity. I can’t see you.
SARAH
Oh. Right. Let me . . .
(SARAH pushes a button and holds her cell out in

front of her.)
VIRGINIA
A restaurant.
SARAH
Yes.
VIRGINIA
We’re always talking in public.
SARAH
Mom. Everybody is.
VIRGINIA
Well, I think it’s rude.
Scene from i by Jeff Talbott

Page 1
[42]
SARAH
You want me to go?
VIRGINIA
No, no. We can be rude together. What’s wrong?
SARAH
Can we just . . . sit for a second?
VIRGINIA
Um . . . OK. Let me get a chair. We can . . . sit.
(VIRGINIA out a chair and sits. Beat.)
So. This is . . . It really doesn’t bother you that other people can
hear your conversation?
SARAH
Nobody’s paying attention, Mom. People are just living their lives.
VIRGINIA
Your father would be in heaven if he were alive.
SARAH
Why?
VIRGINIA
So many people’s business to get into.
SARAH
He was a social guy, Mom.
VIRGINIA
He was a lonely man, Sarah.
SARAH
Well . . .
VIRGINIA
And nosy.
SARAH
Can we just sit here and--
VIRGINIA
He always said: “The world’s a balloon. But other people are the
helium.”
SARAH
(Softly echoing, not quite simultaneously.)
. . . other people . . . helium. I know, Mom. I know.

Page 2
[43]
(Beat.)
VIRGINIA
Utterly ridiculous.
(Beat. They sit.)
He would have hated this, Sarah. You should come home.
SARAH
I can’t.
VIRGINIA
He would have made you.
SARAH
Not a chance.
(Beat.)
He wasn’t lonely, was he? He had so many friends.
VIRGINIA
That doesn’t make a person not lonely.
SARAH
He was the happiest person I ever knew.
VIRGINIA
He laughed a lot, I’ll give you that.
SARAH
I thought I’d . . . When he died I thought that was the worst thing
that would ever happen to me. I was so dumb.
VIRGINIA
Sweetheart . . .
SARAH
You didn’t?
VIRGINIA
I try very hard not to rank things. I’d rather be able to get up in
the morning.
(Beat.)
What’s wrong, Sarah?
SARAH
I don’t . . . I don’t know.

Page 3
[44]
VIRGINIA
I’ll come there. You don’t have to be alone.
SARAH
Maybe eventually. They say a Relocated Person needs time to acclimate,
I need time to--
VIRGINIA
So I won’t come. Fine.
SARAH
Mom, just give me time. OK?
VIRGINIA
Fine. Time.
(Beat.)
Are you eating alone? Because that’s pathetic.
SARAH
I am now.
VIRGINIA
What does that . . .
SARAH
I was . . . with someone.
VIRGINIA
A friend?
SARAH
But he left.
VIRGINIA
Oh. Not a friend.
SARAH
Not anything, evidently.
VIRGINIA
Why’d he . . .
(Beat.)
Sarah?
SARAH
I don’t think I’m wired to be around other people, Mom.

Page 4
[45]
VIRGINIA
That’s going to make buying groceries kind of hard.
SARAH
You know what I mean.
VIRGINIA
I don’t believe people are wired for anything, Sarah. We’re just . . .
here.
SARAH
I don’t know.
(Beat.)
VIRGINIA
You chased him away.
SARAH
I didn’t.
VIRGINIA
Sure you did.
SARAH
Something’s wrong with me.
VIRGINIA
You went there to fix that, though.
SARAH
Yes. I guess. Something . . . else. Something new.
VIRGINIA
And tomorrow it’ll just be another something else.
SARAH
That’s not very--
VIRGINIA
You don’t know what you want.
SARAH
I don’t want . . . anything. Is the . . .
VIRGINIA
You do. You just don’t know it.
SARAH
That doesn’t seem--

Page 5
[46]
VIRGINIA
When I was a girl, have I ever told you this?
SARAH
Probably.
VIRGINIA
When I was a girl we had teachers monitoring us in the cafeteria. It
was a different time. And it was a small school. Not like today. Those
factories. Are you there?
SARAH
I’m right here, Mom.
VIRGINIA
OK. So the lunchroom had monitors, different teachers taking turns. If
somebody got out of line, they would, you know, address the issue.
Mostly they were making sure we ate our lunch. Not like your
generation. “Do what feels right.” Feelings. Ugh. We did as we were
told. And if there was something you didn’t like, not something you
were allergic to, that’s clearly a different matter, but if there was
something you didn’t like, you still had to try it. Three big bites.
That was the rule. And if you took three big bites you could stop. Of
course, on a lunch tray, three big bites is the entire portion, but we
were little and probably not all that smart, so we would take three
big bites of whatever we were told to. And I was a picky eater. I was.
I’m not proud of it. But it’s a fact. So I got put in the three-big-
bites position more often than a lot of my . . . Are you listening?
(SARAH barely nods, but VIRGINIA isn’t really

paying attention to her anymore.)
Good. I got put there more often than a lot of my friends. But what I
didn’t like, I did not like. And one day, we had applesauce. Which I
just didn’t like. At all. So chunky. I hated it. So I didn’t eat it.
And the monitor noticed I hadn’t eaten it and said “Ginny, you haven’t
eaten your applesauce.” And I said “I don’t like it.” And he said “But
you know the rule.” And I said “I really don’t like it.” And he said
“Three big bites and you can leave it alone.” And I said one more time
“I don’t like it.” And he gave me that look that only a teacher can
give. Or a mom. And I knew my little goose was just cooked. So I took
a bite of that applesauce and promptly vomited all over my tray. And
when they called my mother, when they called your grandmother to come
pick me up she told them “If she says she doesn’t like it, then she
doesn’t like it. Maybe next time you’ll listen to her.”
(Somewhere during the above, SARAH has quietly

begun to cry. Nothing big. No sobs. Just emotion
pouring out of her silently. VIRGINIA hasn’t
noticed. As VIRGINIA’s story ends, SARAH covers
her mouth with her hand and begins to openly

Page 6
[47]
VIRGINIA (cont’d)
weep, little sounds seeping out around her hands.
It is awful.)
Oh, Sarah. I can’t . . .
(VIRGINIA is helpless to do anything but sit and

watch her crying daughter on a tiny screen in
front of her. Finally, it subsides and SARAH
takes her hand away from her mouth.)
Do you have a napkin?
(SARAH nods, and dries her face with her napkin

the best she can.)
Sarah.
(They look at each other for a long moment, a

mother and a daughter, separated by miles)
I don’t know how to help you.
(Beat.)
But I’m your mother and I’ll still be your mother because I will
always be your mother.
SARAH
Please, stop, you’ll make me start all over again and--
VIRGINIA
I hate that you did this.
(Beat.)
SARAH
I didn’t have any choice.
VIRGINIA
I think you’re running away.
SARAH
Mom.
VIRGINIA
Hm?
SARAH
I am.

Page 7
[48]
(They stare at each other for a long, long

moment.)
VIRGINIA
Right. Well. Let me know when you stop.
(Beat.)
You’re just like me.
SARAH
I am?
VIRGINIA
You said you don’t like it. I should have listened to you.
(Beat.)
If I were there . . .
SARAH
But you’re not.
VIRGINIA
No. I’m not. But if I were--
(VIRGINIA’s voice catches and she wells up,

overcome, about to cry.)
SARAH
Don’t. Mom. Please.
(VIRIGNIA holds up her hand, and gets it under

control.)
VIRGINIA
I’m fine.
SARAH
OK.
VIRGINIA
Be careful, Sarah.
SARAH
OK.
VIRGINIA
And please be smart.
(SARAH nods. VIRGINIA reaches down to touch

SARAH’s face on her phone. SARAH touches her

Page 8
[49]
cheek as if VIRGINIA has made actual contact.

VIRGINIA shakes her head and ends the call. SARAH
is alone.)
SARAH
I’m trying, Mom.
[End of scene.]

Page 9
[50]
IDr
eam Be
for
eIT
aket
heSt
and
byAr
leneHut
ton
[51]
I Dream Before I Take the Stand by Arlene Hutton 2
I Dream Before I Take the Stand

by Arlene Hutton
Cast: SHE: a petite woman

HE: a man, probably a lawyer, probably the defense attorney
Set: A chair
Time: Right now
Casting Note: The man is age 25-60, the woman 20-50, both of any race.
The woman should be petite in height or very slim if taller, but the specific
hair color lines may be changed with the author's permission.
I Dream Before I Take the Stand received development at Ensemble Studio

Theatre and at Alice’s Fourth Floor in New York City. It premiered in August,
1995, at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, presented by The Journey Company,
directed by Judith Royer and performed by Robert Kilbridge and Beth Lincks.
With the same cast and director the play was produced by The Journey
Company at Piccolo Spoloto in 1997 and at the first New York International
Fringe Festival in August, 1997.
[52]
I Dream Before I Take the Stand
(Lights up on a petite woman sitting in a chair. It is possible that

the lights begin the play full and soft, narrowing very slowly
throughout, so that by the end of the play only a narrow spot is
focused on the woman, like an interrogation room. The man, a
lawyer, walks around her throughout, at first in the full circle or
light, later appearing in and out of the focused light. Perhaps by
the end of the play, the light has narrowed on the woman, and
the man is barely seen. There are many ways to present this play.
But the pauses are a part of the diglogue.)
SHE: I was walking through the park.
HE: Why were you in the park?
SHE: I was on my way to work.
HE: Do you have to walk through the park to get to work?
SHE: No.
HE: Do you always walk through the park to work?
SHE: No.
HE: Why did you walk through the park that day?
SHE: It was a beautiful day. I like to walk to work through the

park when the weather's good.
(Pause.)
HE: Were you in a hurry?
HE: Were you late?
SHE: No, I would have been on time.

[53]
HE: Were you strolling or walking fast?
SHE: I always walk fairly quickly.
HE: Why? The park is not safe?
SHE: I guess not.
HE: Yet you walk through it to get to work.
SHE: There are lots of people around.
HE: But you walk quickly through the park.
SHE: Yes.
(Pause.)
HE: How do you walk?
SHE: Which way?
HE: Do you swing your arms?
SHE: I don't know.
HE: Were you carrying anything?
SHE: Just my purse.
HE: So your arms were free to swing along as you walked.
SHE: Maybe.
HE: Or maybe you walk with them folded.
SHE: I don't know what you mean.
HE: Perhaps you fold your arms. (He demonstrates)
SHE: Maybe.
[54]
HE: So sometimes you swing your arms and sometimes you

fold them.
SHE: I guess.
HE: What else would you do with them?
SHE: I guess you're right.
(Pause.)
HE: So you were walking through the park that day on your
way to work.
SHE: Yes. I already said that.
(Pause.)
HE: What were you wearing?
SHE: A skirt and a top.
HE: What color was the skirt?
SHE: It was a print.
HE: What color?
SHE: Black and red.
HE: And the top?
SHE: What?
HE: What color was the top?
SHE: Black.
HE: Just black?
SHE: It had a little red flower on it.
HE: The fabric?

[55]
SHE: No. A decoration.
HE: Where?
SHE: In the center of the neckline.
HE: A rose.
SHE: I guess. It was tiny.
HE: It was in the fabric?
SHE: No. It was a small ribbon.
HE: Like the little flowers on lingerie.
SHE: Like that.
HE: How sweet. (A pause.) Were you wearing jewelry?
SHE: No. Just a watch.
HE: An expensive watch?
SHE: No.
HE: An expensive looking watch?
SHE: No. Just a Timex.
HE: So that you could hurry through the park to be at work

on time.
SHE: Of course.
HE: No other jewelry?
SHE: No.
HE: Why not?
SHE: I don't wear jewelry in the park.

[56]
HE: Why not?
SHE: I don't want to attract attention.
HE: You don't want to get mugged.
SHE: Right.
(Pause.)
HE: Your hair is up today. Were you wearing it that way in

the park?
SHE: No. I was wearing it down.
HE: Why?
SHE: It probably wasn't quite dry.
HE: You go out with wet hair? Why?
SHE: In nice weather.
HE: Why?
SHE: It feels good.
HE: And you color your hair.
SHE: Yes.
HE: And why is that?
SHE: I like it.
HE: Why? What is your natural color?
SHE: Like this when I was in college.
HE: But now?
SHE: I don't know.

[57]
HE: You don't know what color your hair is?
SHE: It's been a while—
HE: What color do you think it is?
SHE: I imagine it's sort of a dirty blonde with a little gray.

[note: “dirty blonde” can be “mousy brown,” depending on the
hair color of the actress. “With a little gray” can be omitted]
HE: But you don't really know.
SHE: Not really.
HE: (Optional pause.) Do you think you are more attractive

with colored hair?
SHE: I don't know.
HE: Then why do you color it?
SHE: I guess so.
HE: What?
SHE: I guess I think I'm—
HE: So you color your hair to be more attractive.
SHE: I guess.
HE: But your fingernails are not painted.
SHE: No.
HE: Do you sometimes paint your fingernails?
SHE: Sometimes I wear nail polish.
HE: Were your fingernails painted that day?
SHE: I think so.

[58]
HE: What nail color did you use?
SHE: A pink polish.
HE: Not red.
SHE: No. Just pink.
HE: Why?
SHE: To match my make-up.
HE: You were wearing make-up?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Do you always wear make-up to the park?
SHE: No.
HE: They why were you wearing it that day?
HE: What sort of make-up were you wearing?
SHE: What brand?
HE: Which items of make-up had you put on? Lipstick?
SHE: Yes.
HE: What color?
SHE: The actual name?
HE: What color would you call the lipstick you wore?
SHE: A sort of peach, maybe, with a darker—
HE: You were wearing two colors on your lips?

[59]
SHE: Well, yes.
HE: How does one do that?
SHE: It's a lip liner with a brush and then a tube lipstick.
HE: You outline your lips before you put on your lipstick.
SHE: Yes. It's—
HE: You add definition to your lips.
SHE: Sort of.
HE: To emphasize them. You emphasize your lips.
SHE: It's just the way you put on make-up.
(Possibly a pause.)
HE: What other make-up were you wearing?
SHE: A little powder.
HE: Why?
SHE: So my nose wouldn't be shiny.
HE: And why would it?
SHE: It was a fairly warm day.
HE: You might have perspired a little.
SHE: Maybe.
HE: And was there color on your cheeks?
SHE: Yes. I use a little blush.
HE: Color on the eyes?
SHE: Eyeliner. Maybe a little eye shadow.

[60]
HE: Mascara.
SHE: No.
HE: Are you sure?
SHE: Yes. I don't use mascara.
HE: Why not?
SHE: It bothers my contact lenses.
HE: Were you wearing contact lenses in the park?
SHE: Yes.
HE: You weren't wearing glasses?
SHE: No.
HE: But you are wearing glasses now.
SHE: Sometimes I wear contact lenses.
HE: You were wearing contact lenses in the park.
SHE: I already said that.
HE: Your hair was down and you were wearing make-up and
contact lenses.
HE: Your hair was down and you were wearing make-up and
contact lenses.
SHE: Yes.
(Pause.)
HE: Were you wearing perfume?

[61]
SHE: Cologne.
HE: Do you always wear perfume?
SHE: Cologne. I was wearing cologne.
HE: Do you always wear cologne?
SHE: Usually.
HE: In the park?
SHE: To work.
HE: And it was a warm day.
SHE: Yes. But what does that—
HE: You were walking through the park on your way to work
dressed in your skirt and top. Your hair was down and you
were wearing make-up and perfume.
SHE: Cologne.
(A long pause. She has won this round, and he must regroup.)
HE: You were walking through the park.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You passed a man sitting on a bench.
SHE: (After a slight pause.) There were lots of people sitting

on benches.
HE: You passed many people.
SHE: Yes.
HE: The park was crowded.
SHE: No.
[62]
HE: The park was not empty.
SHE: No. But there were a lot of people.
HE: Did you see anyone you knew?
SHE: No.
HE: No neighbors or friends or familiar faces?
SHE: No.
HE: You walked past the people sitting on benches.
SHE: Yes.
HE: There was a man sitting on a bench by himself.
SHE: I didn't notice he was alone.
HE: He spoke to you.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You spoke to him.
SHE: No.
HE: He spoke to you.
SHE: Yes.
HE: What did he say?
SHE: He just said hello.
HE: And what did you do?
SHE: I nodded to him and kept on walking.
HE: Did you know him?
SHE: No.
[63]
HE: Had you ever seen him before?
SHE: No.
HE: He was a stranger.
SHE: Yes.
HE: Yet you nodded at him. Did you smile as you nodded?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Why?
SHE: It was a beautiful day. I was just passing by and he said

hello.
HE: Do you always acknowledge comments from strangers

on the street?
SHE: Not always.
HE: Then why did you acknowledge this man?
SHE: It was such a nice day. And I don't like to be rude.
HE: So this stranger said hello and you smiled and nodded.
SHE: That's right.
HE: Did you speak to other people sitting on the benches?
SHE: No.
HE: Did you speak to anyone else in the park?
SHE: No.
HE: Why not?
SHE: No one else spoke to me.

[64]
HE: But when a strange man said hello you smiled and
nodded at him.
SHE: Yes. There were lots of people—
HE: Did you stop to smile and nod?
SHE: What?
HE: Did you stop still in front of the man to smile at him?
SHE: No. I kept walking.
HE: Why didn't you stop?
SHE: I didn't think about it. It was just a casual hello. I just
kept walking. It was nothing.
HE: Not really. (Pause.) What were you wearing?
SHE: What?
HE: What were you wearing?
SHE: I told you.
HE: You have to answer. What were you wearing?
SHE: A skirt and a top.
HE: To go to work?
SHE: I had a jacket in the office.
HE: What kind of skirt?
SHE: A printed one.
HE: A red and black print.
SHE: Yes.
HE: Was it long or short?

[65]
SHE: What?
HE: The skirt. Was it below your knees?
SHE: No.
HE: It came above your knees.
SHE: Yes.
HE: It was tight. It clung to your body?
SHE: No. It was gathered. A full skirt.
HE: So it might have moved when you walked.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: What was the fabric?
SHE: Chiffon.
HE: Chiffon is a sheer fabric.
SHE: It was lined.
HE: What was the lining?
SHE: The lining was chiffon, too.
HE: So you were wearing a see-through mini skirt.
SHE: No.
HE: Describe the blouse.
SHE: What?
HE: You were wearing a top.
SHE: Yes. A T-shirt.

[66]
HE: A knit top.
SHE: Yes.
HE: Did it have sleeves?
SHE: No. It was sleeveless.
HE: A tank top. It was tight.
SHE: No.
HE: It fitted closely on your body. What color was it?
SHE: I already told you.
HE: What color was it?
SHE: (An outburst.) Black.
HE: With a little red flower. (Possibly a pause.) Were you

wearing underwear?
SHE: (Surprised at this question.) Yes.
HE: Were you wearing a slip?
SHE: No.
HE: Why not?
SHE: It was warm out. And the skirt was lined.
HE: Were you wearing panty hose?
SHE: No.
HE: Your legs were bare.
SHE: Yes.
HE: No socks?
[67]
SHE: I told you. I was wearing sandals.
HE: For the office?
SHE: I keep stockings and pumps in my desk.
HE: Along with a jacket.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You walk through the park half naked and cover up for
the office.
SHE: (After a pause.) It's air-conditioned.
HE: What?
SHE: The office. It's air-conditioned. It gets cold.
HE: But the park was hot.
SHE: Yes.
HE: So you don't wear much clothing. Were your legs

shaved?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Why do you shave your legs?
SHE: I just do.
HE: It looks better.
SHE: Yes.
HE: So you weren't wearing pantyhose.
HE: No stockings at all.
SHE: I was wearing sandals.

[68]
HE: Were you wearing a bra?
SHE: What?
HE: Were you wearing a bra?
SHE: Yes.
HE: What size?
SHE: Thirty-four.
HE: Thirty-four what?
SHE: Just thirty-four.
HE: What cup size are you?
SHE: Um, uh, B or C.
HE: You don't know?
SHE: It depends on the bra. What brand.
HE: What was the cup size of the bra you had on that day?
SHE: It didn't have a cup size. It was just a 34.
HE: Why didn't it have a cup size? Don't most bras have a
cup size?
SHE: It wasn't sized that way. It didn't have an underwire.
HE: So it was an elastic sort of bra.
SHE: I don't know. Maybe.
(A slight pause.)
HE: How tall are you?
SHE: Five foot three.

[69]
HE: You are considered a petite woman, then.
SHE: I guess so.
HE: But thirty-four B or C is a fairly large bra size for a

small woman.
SHE: It's average.
HE: Not for a petite woman. You wouldn't say your breasts
were small.
SHE: My....
HE: Your breasts. They are not small breasts.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: You don't know you have large breasts?
SHE: They're average.
HE: Do you always wear a bra?
SHE: When?
HE: When you walk through the park, do you always wear a
bra?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Why?
SHE: I feel more comfortable.
HE: Because you have large breasts.
SHE: (No answer.)
HE: You would not say that you have small breasts.
SHE: No...
[70]
HE: You have a large bust. But you were wearing a tank top.
SHE: It was hot.
HE: You were wearing a tight T-shirt. How wide were the
straps on your tank top?
SHE: I don't know.
HE: Wide enough to cover the bra straps?
SHE: Well, yes.
HE: You were carrying a purse.
SHE: Yes.
HE: What kind?
SHE A small leather one.
HE: You were carrying it in your hand.
SHE: No.
HE: It had a strap.
SHE: Yes.
HE: How were you carrying your purse?
SHE: On my shoulder. The strap was on my shoulder.
HE: Could it cause your tank top strap to shift?
SHE: What?
HE: The strap on your tank top. Could your purse strap have
caused it to shift?
SHE: I guess.
[71]
HE: Revealing your bra strap.
SHE: Maybe.
HE: So your bra straps could have been showing as you

walked through the park.
SHE: I don't know.
(Pause.)
HE: What color was your underwear?
SHE: What does it matter?
HE: What color was your underwear?
SHE: (Overlapping.) Black.
HE: The bra or the panties?
SHE: Both.
HE: They matched?
SHE: Yes.
HE: Did they have lace?
SHE: Yes.
HE: You were wearing a black lacy bra and panties?
SHE: That’s right.
HE: Why not white or beige?
SHE: To match the tank top and skirt.
HE: Why? Did you expect anyone to see your underwear that
day?
SHE: What?
[72]
HE: (He doesn't answer.)
SHE: No.
HE: Did you have a date with a boyfriend later?
SHE: No.
HE: Then why did it have to match?
SHE: What?
HE: The underwear. The bra and panties
SHE: In case it... in case the tank strap...
HE: So you expected the bra strap to be seen.
SHE: Not necessarily.
HE: But you thought it might.
SHE: I didn't really think about it. It's just what I put on that
morning.
HE: Black lacy underwear is considered sexy.
SHE: I guess.
HE: It is sexier than white or beige.
SHE: I guess so.
HE: Black is considered a sexy color. So is red.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: Your skirt was black and red. Your top was black with a
little red ribbon flower on it. Your bra and panties were black.
SHE: That's right.

[73]
HE: So why were you wearing sexy underwear if no one was

to see it?
SHE: I just like it.
HE: Why?
SHE: It makes me feel...
HE: Sexier.
SHE: Prettier.
HE: More sensual.
SHE: More feminine.
HE: You walked through the park wearing sexy underwear

and revealing clothes and you smiled and nodded at a man you
did not know.
SHE: No.
HE: No?
SHE: Not like that.
HE: You walked through the park.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You were wearing black lacy underwear.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You were wearing a tight tank top and a see-through

skirt.
HE: I...
HE: You nodded at a strange man.
SHE: Okay.
[74]
HE: You smiled at him.
SHE: Okay.
HE: Your bra strap had slipped, and you felt sexy.
SHE: No.
HE: It was a hot day.
SHE: Yes.
HE: Your legs were bare. Your thighs were warm.
SHE: No.
HE: The weather was warm.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You were walking quickly.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You worked up a sweat.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: It is likely you were perspiring.
SHE: I guess.
HE: Your clothes were clinging to you.
SHE: No.
HE: You were moist with sweat and the chiffon lining of
your skirt was clinging to your legs as you walked. Your knit
top was damp and clung closely to your body.
SHE: That's not right.

[75]
HE: It was a hot day. You were walking quickly. You were
perspiring.
SHE: (No answer.)
HE: Your clothes were warm and sticky. The shape of your
body was revealed.
Have your breasts been artificially enlarged?
SHE: No.
HE: Or reduced?
SHE: No.
HE: They have not been altered in any way.
SHE: No.
HE: So your breasts are not, shall we say, unnaturally firm.
SHE: I guess not.
HE: And your bra had no underwire.
SHE: We've been through that.
HE: So your breasts had little support.
SHE: I was wearing a bra.
SHE: Yes.
HE: Your breasts were bouncing.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: Your strap might have slipped. Your breasts had no

support.
SHE: I was wearing a bra.

[76]
HE: You were swinging your arms.
SHE: You said that.
HE: You were either swinging your arms or your arms were
folded holding up your breasts.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: Tank tops are low cut.
SHE: It wasn't really—
HE: You folded your arms under your breasts to show your
cleavage.
SHE: No.
HE: Might you have folded your arms?
SHE: Not to—
HE: Is it possible you folded your arms?
SHE: Maybe.
HE: Or you were swinging your arms?
SHE: No.
SHE: Yes. To—
HE: Then you were swinging your arms.
SHE: I don't know.
HE: You were swaying your hips.
SHE: No.
[77]
HE: You were swinging your arms and your breasts were
bouncing.
SHE: No.
HE: Your large breasts were bouncing and your strap was
showing.
SHE: No.
HE: If you were walking at a fast pace your breasts would

bounce and your hips sway.
SHE: I didn't think about it.
HE: That's right.
(Pause.)
HE: What size panties?
SHE: What?
HE: What size were your panties?
SHE: Medium, I guess.
HE: You don't know?
SHE: I don't remember.
HE: What size panties do you usually buy?
SHE: Medium or small. It depends.
HE: On what?
SHE: On what's on sale, the style, I don't know.
HE: What style?
SHE: I don't know what you mean.

[78]
HE: What style were those panties? Bikini panties?
SHE: That's right.
HE: Why?
SHE: Why what?
HE: Why were you wearing bikini panties?
SHE: They matched the bra.
HE: Wouldn't a looser fitting panty be more comfortable?
SHE: Not really.
HE: Bikini panties allow your thighs to touch each other.
SHE: Stop it.
HE: It was a very hot day. You walked quickly through the
park wearing sexy clothes with your breasts bouncing and your
thighs damp and you smiled and nodded at a stranger.
SHE: That's not it.
HE: You were walking through the park.
SHE: Yes.
HE: It was a hot day.
SHE: Yes.
HE: You smiled at stranger. And he followed you.
SHE: I didn't know.
HE: What?
SHE: I didn't know that he had followed me.
HE: When did you notice that he followed you?

[79]
SHE: When he grabbed me.
HE: Not before?
SHE: He grabbed me from behind. I didn't see him.
HE: You didn't turn when you heard someone behind you?
SHE: There was loud music. I didn't hear anything.
HE: The music was so loud you didn't hear someone behind
you?
SHE: There was a machine...
HE: A lawnmower?
SHE: Louder. An edger. There was loud music and loud noise.
I didn't hear him.
HE: You went into the park.
SHE: To walk to work.
HE: You were wearing suggestive clothing.
SHE: No.
HE: You signaled to a man.
SHE: No.
HE: You enticed him.
SHE: No.
HE: You led him on.
SHE: No.
HE: You acknowledged him.

[80]
SHE: (No answer.)
HE: You smiled at him.
SHE: Yes.
(The lights are beginning to dim, leaving an ever-brightening

single spot focused in the woman's eyes, like an interrogation
room. Perhaps the man fades into the background during the
rest of the play. Or maybe not.)
HE: (He verbally rapes her.) You left your glasses off. Your
dyed hair was bobbing in the breeze. You had painted nails and
wore rouge. Your body was scented. You were wearing a
revealing outfit, you were feeling sexy in your dainty black
lacy undies and your tight shirt and your sheer skirt, and you
were shaking your breasts and rolling your hips at this man.
SHE: (Quite possibly a scream.) No!
(A very long pause.)
HE: Start at the beginning.
SHE: What?
HE: Start at the beginning.
SHE: I was walking through the park.
HE: And?
SHE: It was a nice day. (Pause.) It was a nice day.
(Blackout. End of play.)

[81]
T
oge
the
r,Ev
enWhe
nYou’
reNot
byKi
ttL
avoi
e
[82]
TOGETHER, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT

by
Kitt Lavoie
The desktop of a Macintosh computer. The cursor tracks

to the bottom of the screen, bringing up the dock. The
cursor scrolls over the application icons, magnifying each
in turn, until it arrives on the Skype icon.
With the sound of a click, the Skype window opens. The

cursor clicks on contacts, and scrolls down the long list of
names and avatars until it reaches “jameskeller.”
With a click, a new window pops up. On one side of the

window, a woman in her mid-twenties , KATIE, sits in
her pajamas in the room of a teenage girl. Late night.
She peers mischievously into the camera as the Skype
ring tone chirps out.
After a moment, the other side of the window lights up

with the image of JAMES, late-twenties, sitting in an
office, the glass door to his back. By this time, Katie’s
eye is almost pressed up against her camera.
JAMES
Hey you!
KATIE
(like a playful robot)
I am looking at you!
James holds up three fingers.
JAMES
How many fingers am I holding up.
KATIE
(still the playful robot)
Okay. I am looking at the camera.
Katie pulls her face back away from the camera. James’
three fingers turn into a playful wave.
[83]
2.
JAMES
Hey, you.
KATIE
Hey. You’re not still there, are you?
JAMES
Things got complicated.
KATIE
I’m so sorry.
JAMES
It’s not your fault.
KATIE
I mean, I’m sorry I’m not there to help.
JAMES
I know, and it’s not your fault you’re not here. It’s your sister’s fault. Her and her love.
KATIE
Yes, her damn’ned love.
JAMES
How was the rehearsal dinner?
KATIE
It was good. It was nice to see everybody.
JAMES
I wish I could have been there.
KATIE
I wish you could have been, too. And I wish I could have been there.
JAMES
No you don’t.
KATIE
No. But I wish you didn’t have to be, either.
JAMES
Me, too.
[84]
3.
KATIE
What happened?
JAMES
Just Susan being Susan. What time is it there?
KATIE
Eleven.
JAMES
Kind of early to be in your pajamas, no?
KATIE
Big day tomorrow. Plus everyone’s asleep. My aunt’s on the couch, so I can’t watch
TV. So it’s jammies and chatting with you.
JAMES
(re: the jammies)
They’re cute.
KATIE
(modeling, with a grin)
Thank you.
James leans back. He scans the screen up and down.
KATIE (cont’d)
What?
JAMES
I’ve just never seen you dressed for bed before.
Katie smiles and leans back away from the camera,

spreading her arms “Here it is.”
JAMES (cont’d)
It’s just weird. The number of times I’ve seen you “undressed for bed”...
KATIE
James--
JAMES
I know. Damn’ned love.
[85]
4.
KATIE
Soon.
JAMES
I wish I was there with you tonight.
KATIE
You couldn’t sleep in here with me, anyway. My parents would kill you.
JAMES
I wouldn’t need to sleep. Just see you in those jammies in person. Slide you out of them.
Defile you on your childhood bed.
KATIE
James!
JAMES
What?
KATIE
That’s sick.
JAMES
It’s not sick. It’s natural. And you would like it.
KATIE
You’re funny.
JAMES
Show me your room.
Katie grins.
KATIE
Okay.
Katie picks up her computer and disappears from the

frame, aiming the camera around the room.
KATIE (cont’d)
There’s my bed.
JAMES
Which we’ve discussed.
[86]
5.
KATIE (OC)
(panning around the room)
Dresser... Posters...
She pushes in on a photo.
KATIE (OC) (cont'd)

That’s me at graduation.
JAMES
Adorable.
She pulls back to reveal...
KATIE
My desk.
JAMES
I would defile you over that, for sure.
KATIE
(panning)
Shhhh! My Barbie collection.
JAMES
And with those--
Katie swings the camera towards her.
KATIE
Quit it!
Katie’s hand reaches towards the keyboard. The volume

indicator appears on the screen, lowering.
JAMES
Who’s going to hear?
KATIE
They’re going to hear me laughing. Shhhh!
Katie returns to the bed and sits. They look at each other
a moment.
[87]
6.
KATIE (cont’d)
I should let you go.
JAMES
It’s okay.
KATIE
You’ve still got Susan’s mess to clean up.
JAMES
Yeah.
A mischievous look crosses James’ face.
JAMES (cont’d)
Let me see them.
KATIE
No.
JAMES
Come on.
KATIE
No.
JAMES
Why?
KATIE
You’ve already got Susan’s mess to clean up. You don’t need to make one of your own.
James shoots a look over his shoulder, then pivots

himself around the table he is sitting at so that the glass
door is no longer over his shoulder.
JAMES
Come on.
KATIE
Nooo.
JAMES
Just a little.
[88]
7.
Katie perfunctorily slides the collar of her pajamas

slightly to the side.
JAMES (cont’d)
That was a very little.
KATIE
There’s no lock on the door.
JAMES
A holdover from your misspent youth?
KATIE
My youth was spent fine.
JAMES
What’s the worst that could happen?
KATIE
Monday. I promise.
JAMES
(joking, like it’s forever from now)
Monday!
KATIE
Aaron has a conference call at eleven. Five after. In the supply closet. You can look at
them all you want.
JAMES
It’s a date.
KATIE
If that’s what passes as a date.
JAMES
Wear the shirt with the...
He points with some indistinguishable twirling motion at

his chest.
KATIE
Okay. Don’t stay there too late.
[89]
8.
JAMES
I’m gonna try. Have a good time at the wedding.
KATIE
I will.
JAMES
And--
Suddenly, the sound of a door opening. Katie’s eyes

shoot up away from the screen. Her hand reaches
forward and pulls her laptop partway shut, so that just her
stomach and legs are visible, along with some of the
keyboard and a girlish bedspread.
KATIE (OC)
(to someone offscreen)
Hey.
From elsewhere in the room, an unseen young man

responds.
MARK (OC)
Hey.
James listens with interest.
MARK (OC) (cont’d)

What are you doing?
KATIE (OC)
Nothing. Surfing.
MARK (OC)
Anything interesting?
KATIE (OC)
No. You shouldn’t be up here. My mom is down the hall.
MARK (OC)
I’m being quiet.
Katie’s hand subtly slides into frame and to the mouse

pad. The cursor begins dancing around the screen.
[90]
9.
MARK (OC) (cont’d)

Can I get in?
Katie’s hand reaches to the top of the keypad. The

computer’s volume indicator pops up again, now set to
“mute.”
KATIE (OC)
You shouldn’t be up here.
MARK (OC)
You looked so beautiful tonight.
KATIE (OC)
Thank you. You should go back downstairs.
MARK (OC)
I will.
A silence.
KATIE (OC)
Now.
MARK (OC)
You really did look great tonight.
KATIE (OC)
Thank you.
MARK (OC)
And it was great to see your mom. And your dad. And Annie.
(a beat)
Thank you for letting me come.
KATIE (OC)
Of course. You should go to bed.
MARK (OC)
I know. Can I get in?
KATIE (OC)
No.
[91]
10.
MARK (OC)
For a few minutes?
KATIE (OC)
No.
MARK (OC)
They won’t come in.
KATIE (OC)
Mark--
MARK (OC)
You said you wish I did the last time. When we were here.
KATIE (OC)
I know.
MARK (OC)
Well?
KATIE (OC)
It’s different now.
MARK (OC)
I know. And I’m trying to make it different. You said I never try anymore. So I’m
trying.
KATIE (OC)
Not here. Not tonight.
MARK (OC)
When?
KATIE (OC)
Go to bed.
MARK (OC)
I thought you’d want to.
KATE (OC)
Go to bed.
[92]
11.
MARK (OC)
How about just a little something?
KATIE (OC)
No.
MARK (OC)
(assuring her)
I want to.
A beat.
KATIE (OC)
The door doesn’t lock.
The sound of footsteps.
MARK (OC)
Look. I’m leaning against it.
KATIE (OC)
Mark--
MARK (OC)
Then I’ll go to bed.
A beat. The top of the laptop closes a bit more just

before Katie’s hand reaches into the frame and grabs hold
of the bottom of her pajama top. She lifts it out of the
frame, exposing her bare stomach.
KATIE (OC)
Now go to bed.
The sound of footsteps. A shadow falls across Katie and

the part of the bed we can see. Her pajama top falls back
into frame, covering her stomach again.
The legs of a man in pajama bottoms enter the frame,

standing over Katie.
MARK (OC)
Goodnight.
The sound of a kiss on the forehead.

[93]
12.
MARK (cont’d)
You’re so beautiful.
KATIE (OC)
Bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.
The legs of the man turn and exit the frame. The shadow
passes away from Katie. The sound of footsteps, then the
door opening and closing.
Katie becomes visible again as her laptop hinges open.

She reaches for the keyboard and the volume indicator
pops up again, now up where it had been before.
James looks away from the camera.
KATIE (cont’d)
I’m sorry about that.
JAMES
Yeah. Okay. I’ve got to go.
James reaches for his keyboard.
KATIE
James--
James stops. He still can’t quite look at the screen.
KATIE (cont’d)
You knew he was coming with me.
JAMES
Yeah.
KATIE
Look, James. My family doesn’t know. Okay? It’s my sister’s wedding and I was not
going to ruin it by telling them that there’s not going to be another wedding next year.
And that means Mark comes. And--... You know that. We talked about this.
JAMES
Yes.
KATIE
So?
[94]
13.
JAMES
I get that they don’t know.
KATIE
So?
JAMES
So. It doesn’t seem like he knows, either.
KATIE
He was drunk.
JAMES
He didn’t sound drunk. You said you told him.
KATIE
I did.
JAMES
About me.
KATIE
I did.
JAMES
What did you tell him.
KATIE
I told him that there was someone else. That I cheated on him.
JAMES
“Cheated?” Like, once?
KATIE
“Cheating.” That I was. Currently.
JAMES
And?
KATIE
And I told him.
JAMES
You said it was over?
[95]
14.
KATIE
Yes.
JAMES
And what did he say?
KATIE
He said he wanted to work it out.
JAMES
Really?
KATIE
Yes.
JAMES
Is that what you want?
KATIE
No.
JAMES
So what did you tell him?
KATIE
I told him I don’t know.
JAMES
But you do.
KATIE
Yes.
JAMES
So why didn’t you tell him that?
KATIE
(bursting out)
Because I don’t know.
Katie shoots a look to the door, then settles back down,

quieting.
KATIE (cont’d)
I don’t know how to do this. I have been with him since I was nineteen years old and I
don’t know how to just stop. I don’t know how to just cut him out of my life, okay?
[96]
15.
It’s not just asking him to sleep on the couch. It is not asking him to move out. He is
everywhere in my life. And I don’t know how to just make that go away. Even if I want
him to. I’ve been with him for five years.
JAMES
(throwing down the gauntlet)
And you’ve been happy for how many of those?
A beat.
KATIE
(picking it up)
Five. Some of the time.
JAMES
Then what are we about?
KATIE
The rest of the time.
A beat.
JAMES
I can’t do this anymore.
KATIE
James--
KATIE (cont’d)
I can’t make another date with you in the storage closet. Or to slip off for lunch between
meetings so we have twenty minutes to talk. I want to take you to dinner. After work. I
want to take you to a movie. Or to a concert. And I want to take you home to my house.
I want those pajamas to be in my house.
KATIE (cont’d)
They will be.
JAMES
When?
KATIE
I don’t know.
[97]
16.
JAMES
(getting loud)
You can’t just keep fucking me and expect me to wait.
Katie reaches for the keyboard. The volume indicator

pops up again, lowering.
KATIE
Why not?
JAMES
Because you can’t.
KATIE
Why not?
JAMES
Because that’s not the way it works.
KATIE
Why can’t it be?
JAMES
(bursting out)
Because it isn’t!
James looks away from the screen and around. Katie

reaches for the keyboard and the volume indicator pops
up, lowering some more.
KATIE
I was with him the first time we were together. At the Christmas party. You had met
him that night. He was downstairs. So please.
JAMES
That was six months ago.
KATIE
I am not going back to him.
JAMES
“Going back to him?” He was just in the room with you. And I’m here.
[98]
17.
KATIE
And I’m not going back to him. And you know that because I am still, as you put it,
“fucking” you. And that’s all I can do for now.
JAMES
Well, if that’s “all you can do.”
KATIE
It’s been enough up until now.
JAMES
It really hasn’t, though. Is I think what I’m saying.
A beat. They stare at each other through the screen.
JAMES (cont’d)
(a threat)
I could tell him.
KATIE
I already told him.
JAMES
It would sound different coming from me.
KATIE
I know.
A beat.
JAMES
Well, isn’t this romantic.
KATIE
I’m just saying, you don’t get to sleep with an engaged woman, then get upset when it
takes her some time to disentangle herself.
JAMES
I can wait for you to disentangle yourself. But I can’t wait for you to decide if you want
to.
KATIE
I want to.
[99]
18.
JAMES
You told me you hadn’t had sex with him in eight months. That he didn’t even seem to
want to anymore.
KATIE
Yeah.
JAMES
And how unattractive that made you feel.
KATIE
Yeah.
JAMES
Well, he sure seemed to want to tonight. Is what I’m saying.
KATIE
Yeah.
JAMES
So? Which is it?
KATIE
We hadn’t. Until I told him about you.
They sit for a moment.
KATIE (cont’d)
It’s complicated, James.
JAMES
It’s easy.
KATIE
It isn’t.
JAMES
You could make it easy.
KATIE
I really can’t. It’s hard to leave. When he’s trying. But it won’t last. It’s just time.
Here...
[100]
19.
She reaches for the top button of her pajamas. She looks
up and away towards the door. She begins unbuttoning
her pajama top.
KATIE (cont’d)
(eyes still on the door.)
I promise, it’s just a matter of time.
As Katie continues to unbutton - eyes still towards the

door - James watches closely as the hand dances down
the front of her pajama top - and at the diamond ring
sparkling on it.
Just as Katie undoes the last button and reaches to open

the top, James reaches forward to the keyboard on his
laptop. His image disappears as the metallic Skype
“Clunk” pulls Katie’s eyes back to the screen.
She watches the empty box that James once inhabited for
a moment, then buttons up her pajama top, and closes the
laptop into black.
[101]
[102]
On a computer screen: a chat window pops up,

displaying JEREM Y, 30s, well groomed, suit-and-tie. He
closes his eyes and breathes deeply. He taps a key.
BWEEP. Four smaller video windows pop up at the top

of the screen, revealing other managerial types:
- SIM ONE, mid-50s, stern, proper British lady;

- TOM , mid 30s, slovenly, cynical, lazy;
- DONNA, late 40s, mid-menopausal, ever-scowling; and
- SURESH, mid 20s, a Red-Bull-fueled whiz-kid.
JEREM Y
Are we all here? Good.
TOM
Where’s M ike?
JEREM Y
Look. We don’t need to run to M ike with every little situation.
General groans of apprehension and disapproval.
DONNA
Are we calling this a “situation” now?
SIM ONE
Jeremy, get M ike on the call. This is not a problem you can handle yourself.
JEREM Y
That’s negative thinking, Simone.
SIM ONE
Listen to me, you stupid, tiny, insignificant man. You are acting recklessly, and I will not
suffer your incompetence any longer!
A knock on Simone’s office door. It opens.
SIM ONE
Oh, for God’s sake. What is it?
[103]
2.
A ZOM BIE LEAPS ON SIM ONE and EATS HER

BRAIN.
SIM ONE
AAAIIIEEEE!
Her video window closes. BWOOP.
JEREM Y
Simone? You still there?
(Nothing.)
OK, suggestions? This is a unique issue, I need outside-the-box thinking. Suresh. Whatcha
got?
SURESH
OK, I’m thinking sharks. Flood the warehouse with the fire hydrants, and airlift in some
Great Whites.
Suresh holds up a helpful but quickly-drawn illustration

on a presentation board.
TOM
And these sharks come from...?
SURESH
(obviously)
The zoo.
DONNA
Wait. Tom. Are you on your phone?
They all see it now: Tom’s background is moving behind

him.
TOM
I’m getting a cigarette.
SURESH
He’s in the parking lot. Are you running away, Tom?
[104]
3.
TOM
I’ve been here since seven! I’m not a slave, OK? I put in my time. Call my cell if you
need me.
Tom swings into his car and shuts the door. Dozens of
putrefying corpse arms grab him. He screams.
JEREM Y
Tom, stop screwing around.
Tom’s video shows a chaotic wheeling world as Tom

scampers out of the car and along the pavement, crying.
DONNA
Wow. I’ve never seen Tom work so hard in his life.
Hearty laughter all around.
JEREM Y
But, seriously. I don’t think the sharks are gonna work, Suresh.
SURESH
How about really big snakes?
TOM (O.S.)
Keep the fuck away from me!
DONNA
SHUT UP TOM . Jeremy. Call M ike.
SURESH
I agree with Donna. Why not call him? M ore hands on deck, right?
TOM (O.S.)
Jeremy, call M ike!
JEREM Y
All right, fine. We’ll call M ike.
He taps a few keys.
JEREM Y
But I’m sure he’ll be disappointed that we couldn’t handle this one little thing. M ike?
[105]
4.
BWEEP. A video window pops up with M IKE, a balding

man in his late 50s, currently being devoured by zombies.
M IKE
JESUS CHRIIIII-
M ike’s video blacks out and closes. BWOOP.
JEREM Y
OK, so much for M ike. Any other suggestions?
A flood of zombies BURSTS into Donna’s office.
DONNA
I’m in a meeting, assholes!
She picks up a rock labelled WORLD’S BEST BOSS and

brains zombies with it.
JEREM Y
Focus here, people.
Tom locks himself in a closet and finally gets back

onscreen.
TOM
(whispering)
I’m going home! You can’t stop me!
SURESH
Wait! I got it! We can solve this AND raise the quarterly revenues!
JEREM Y
You’re the man, Suresh! How?
SURESH
All we have to do is-
Three zombies burst into Suresh’s office and beat him to

death with a whiteboard.
[106]
5.
TOM
Ha! I told that melonhead I’d be here long after he -
The zombies break down the closet door. Tom screams,

and his video window disappears. BWOOP.
Donna finishes off her last attacker and spits on its

corpse.
Zombies tear chunks out of Suresh. One STARING

ZOM BIE sits in his chair and watches Jeremy and Donna
through the webcam, its eyes milky white, its face
streaked with clotted gore.
JEREM Y
I can’t work like this.
DONNA
Oh, get over yourself, Jeremy!
JEREM Y
This isn’t about me. When the chips are down, we pull together.
DONNA
When you were wet-nursing an M BA at Blowjob University I was in the trenches pink-
slipping expectant mothers and laughing. So don’t give me this “no I in TEAM ” shit!
A zombie rises up and jams a mail opener in her back. She

staggers and fights, delirious as her life slips away.
DONNA
TEAM spelled backwards is M EAT!
The zombie sinks its jaws into her face. BWOOP.
JEREM Y
That’s it. Nobody eats my annuities product manager.
A horde of zombies bursts in behind Jeremy. They

shamble towards him. He faces the camera and brazenly
fires back at the Staring Zombie on Suresh’s video.
[107]
6.
JEREM Y
You don’t intimidate me. They pay me top dollar to make quick, hard decisions. M y suit
is worth more than your life. Well, I mean, it would be, if you were, you know.
Sweat breaks on his brow as the zombies reach his desk.
JEREM Y
WAIT WAIT WAIT!
The zombies stop. The Staring Zombie waits p atiently.
JEREM Y
Fine. We’ll give you a three percent across-the-board raise, and we’ll throw in dental.
Deal?
Long silence. Then, the Staring Zombie gives an

approving GROAN and a slight back-and-forth rock,
approximating a nod. The zombies behind Jeremy back
away.
JEREM Y
Awesome. Tell you what, call it a three day weekend. Everybody back in the warehouse
on M onday. Great.
The zombies in Jeremy’s room are gone. Jeremy taps a

button on his computer. The Staring Zombie remains.
JEREM Y
I told ‘em to hire M exicans. They get this bunch of cheap ingrates.
Jeremy suddenly notices the video window with the still-

listening zombie.
JEREM Y
Oh, you’re still there? You didn’t hear me, did you?
The zombie stares silently. Jeremy flashes a cheesy grin:

whoops!
End.
[108]
L
astCal
l
byL
iaRome
o
[109]
Characters:
WENDY, 30s
ERIC, slightly younger
Time:
The present
Setting:
Wendy’s bedroom.
Production History:
*Note: Recently revised for Zoom/Skype – production history is for the previous
(onstage) version*
City Theatre National Short Playwriting Award, finalist

Pensacola Little Theatre, production
Shelterbelt Theatre, production
Last Frontier Theatre Conference, production
Atlantic Theatre Stage 2, New York, NY, workshop production (as part of LoveSick, a
collection of my short plays with original music)
59E59, New York, NY, production (as part of LoveSick)
L. Romeo 2
[110]
(Split screen – WENDY and ERIC. WENDY’s background is her

bedroom. ERIC’s is an airplane seat.)
WENDY
Eric? What’s going on?
ERIC
Wendy! Hi! Thank you so much for agreeing to talk!
WENDY
You said it was an emergency, so…
ERIC
Yeah! It is!
WENDY
What’s going on?
Are you… on an airplane?
ERIC
Yeah! I am! And I think it’s going down!
WENDY
Oh God. Really?
ERIC
Yeah!
(A loud rushing noise begins to play in the background on ERIC’s
side of the call.)
And I wanted to hear your voice – and see your face – one last time!
WENDY
What – what happened – terrorists - ?
ERIC
No! The engine’s on fire!
WENDY
Why?
ERIC
I don’t know! The captain said he pressed a button! -
WENDY
There’s a button . . . on an airplane . . . that sets the engine on fire?
L. Romeo 3
[111]
ERIC
I guess!
WENDY
Why?
ERIC
I don’t know! I’ve only got a couple of minutes to live, so I’m not really all that
concerned about it!
WENDY
So why aren’t you calling Jamie?
ERIC
Who?
WENDY
Jamie? The woman you started dating after you broke off our engagement?
ERIC
Oh! Yeah! She and I broke up a while ago.
WENDY
So did we.
ERIC
I know.
WENDY
I mean, if you’re going to call an ex-girlfriend, wouldn’t it make sense to call your most
recent ex-girlfriend . . .?
ERIC
Yeah, well, she’s not very good on the phone!
WENDY
And I am?
ERIC
Yeah! You’re great on the phone! I’ve always loved talking to you!
WENDY
Then you shouldn’t have left me!
ERIC
L. Romeo 4
[112]
Please! Let’s not fight! I’ve got so many things I want to tell you!
WENDY
Like what?
ERIC
Like I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. And I need you to forgive me!
WENDY
I can’t just forgive you in the next two minutes!
ERIC
How long would it take?
WENDY
I don’t know. A lifetime?
ERIC
Is there anything I could say to help you speed up the process a little bit?
WENDY
I don’t know!
ERIC
What if I told you that you’re the only woman I ever really loved?
WENDY
Is that true?
ERIC
Yeah!
(Something flies into the frame on ERIC’s side and hits him in the head.)
Ow!
WENDY
Eric?
ERIC
Something just hit me in the head! I think it was a baby!
WENDY
Really?
ERIC
Yeah!
L. Romeo 5
[113]
What if I told you that I wanted to marry you from the moment I saw you! You were
sitting at McDonald’s, eating a burger – and you looked up – and you smiled. I was just
a stranger – a stranger who hadn’t shaved and had ketchup stains on his shirt - but you
smiled at me, and you had the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.
WENDY
And I told you your fries looked good –
ERIC
And I offered you some. And you took them! I was a stranger, and you trusted me!
WENDY
Well, I obviously shouldn’t have!
ERIC
What if I told you I did what I did because I was scared. Because I knew you were better
than me - and I was terrified of spending my life with you not feeling good enough!
WENDY
Really?
ERIC
Yeah!
Oh, crap, there goes a wing!
WENDY
(panicked)
Eric?
ERIC
Still here!
WENDY
Eric, this isn’t fair!
ERIC
I know! I’m sorry!
WENDY
Why didn’t you tell me this months ago?
ERIC
I tried! You wouldn’t listen!
Holy shit! There goes a stewardess!
WENDY
L. Romeo 6
[114]
(panicked)
Eric??
ERIC
Still here! What if I told you that I wouldn’t even mind going up in a fiery blaze in thirty
seconds if I could just hold you one more time! Of course, if I could hold you one more
time that would mean you’d be on the plane, and then you’d be going up in a fiery blaze
too – never mind, scratch that –
WENDY
Eric, I forgive you! I forgive you! I love you!
(A moment of silence. Then, in a normal voice)
ERIC
Um. What if I told you I wasn’t really on a plane?
(Beat.)
WENDY
You what?
ERIC
There’s this cool feature on Zoom where you can change your background to whatever –
(Suddenly ERIC’s background changes to Hogwarts)
Oops, sorry, that’s Harry Potter –
(ERIC’s background changes to the front seat of a car.)
There we go. Look out your window.
(We see WENDY cross to her window and look out.)
I’m in the blue sedan across the street.
WENDY
So you… made a fake background… of an airplane?
ERIC
Yeah.
WENDY
And then you… what, you threw a baby doll at your own head?
ERIC
(sheepishly)
Yeah.
L. Romeo 7
[115]
WENDY
And what was that sound, that roaring sound?
(ERIC produces a McDonald’s bag from his coat pocket and crinkles it.)
ERIC
I saved you some fries.
(Beat.)
WENDY
Jesus, Eric, what the hell do you think gives you the right to –
ERIC
Wendy! Listen. Let me explain!
I went out to meet some friends for a drink, and I was talking to all these women, and
they were all so stupid, and I didn’t care about any of them, and I didn’t want to be there
anymore. So I left. And I stopped at McDonald’s cause I got hungry on the way home.
And I was sitting there by myself, and . . . feeling like the loneliest man in the world,
cause all I wanted was you to be sitting beside me. And this was the only thing I could
think of to get you to talk.
It was all true, everything I told you!
WENDY
Everything except the dying in a fiery blaze part.
(Beat.)
ERIC
Yeah.
But that wasn’t the part that was really important.
WENDY
I should have known I wouldn’t really be your last phone call.
ERIC
But you would! I want you to be my last phone call every night, and my first phone call
every morning. Except I don’t want to have to call you, because I want to be lying beside
you. And I want to be married to you. And I understand if you can’t marry me right
now, but could you at least let me come in and we could share some fries?
(Beat.)
WENDY
It’s too late, Eric.
L. Romeo 8
[116]
ERIC
Wendy, you said you forgive me – I know I tricked you into saying it, but -
WENDY
It’s not that.
ERIC
Then what?
WENDY
I – um – well, I’ve been getting these headaches.
ERIC
Yeah?
WENDY
And I went to the doctor. And – um – it turns out it’s not good.
ERIC
What?
WENDY
It’s – a tumor. And there’s not a lot they can do, because it’s in the brain, and so – well –
the doctor said three to six months.
(Beat.)
ERIC
You’re kidding.
(WENDY shakes her head.)
You’re trying to get back at me for what I told you.
(WENDY shakes her head.)
You’re dying?
WENDY
Yeah.
Pretty ironic, huh.
ERIC
God, Wendy, why didn’t you tell me?
WENDY
L. Romeo 9
[117]
You weren’t really part of my life anymore.
ERIC
I want to be! I want to help you – and be there for you – I want to spend all my time with
you, however much time you’ve got! -
WENDY
No you don’t.
ERIC
Why?
WENDY
Because it’s going to be ugly and horrible.
ERIC
I don’t care! I want to be there.
WENDY
I’m going to lose my hair.
ERIC
I want to get you a hat.
WENDY
I’m going to throw up.
ERIC
I want to hold your hair back. Unless – are you going to lose your hair before you throw
up?
WENDY
It’ll probably all happen sort of simultaneously.
ERIC
Wendy, I love you. And I want to be with you. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry –
WENDY
It’s okay. I was just kidding.
(Beat.)
ERIC
You what?
WENDY
L. Romeo 10
[118]
I don’t have a brain tumor. I’m not dying.
ERIC
Wendy, you – God! That’s not fair! –
WENDY
Well, I mean, I am. Just probably not for a long time.
(Beat.)
ERIC
Well, when you do – however it happens – I want to be there.
WENDY
Really?
ERIC
Yeah. Do you think you could ever forgive me? I mean really – no tricks?
WENDY
I don’t know.
I bet those fries are pretty cold.
ERIC
Yeah, they are.
(We see ERIC standing up, walking. He eats one of the fries.)
But they’re still good.
(We hear a knock on WENDY’s door. Lights down.)
END OF PLAY
L. Romeo 11
[119]
ADav
ewi
thDe
sti
ny
byKe
nPr
eus
s
[120]
A DAVE WITH DESTINY

by Ken Preuss
CAST OF CHARACTERS
1 Man, 1 Woman
DAVE
A regular guy but a little square.
DESTINY
A free spirit with a bit of an edge.
SETTING
An online seminar called The Slice of Life.
[121]
DAVE WITH DESTINY

(DAVE waits alone in a conference room. His demeanor makes it clear he’s waited quite some time
with no attendees. He plays absent-mindedly with a kitchen knife. DESTINY pops on the screen.
Caught by surprise, DAVE fumbles, straightens up, and speaks.)
DAVE
Hi. Welcome to Slice of Life.
DESTINY
(Suspiciously, noticing she is the only participant.) This is an online singles site?
DAVE
(Confused, he clarifies.) This is a question and answer webinar about thinly cut lunch meats.
DESTINY
(To herself.) I should not read flyers while on medication. (To DAVE.) I’m gonna go. Bye.
DAVE
Wait! Don’t I know you from somewhere?
DESTINY
Nice try. Not interest… (Pauses as she is about to log off.) Actually… you do look familiar.
DAVE
Whew. I thought it might be weird to say that.
DESTINY
Oh, it is weird. Just don’t make it creepy.
DAVE
I won’t. I promise.
DESTINY
Then you should probably put down the knife.
DAVE
Right. Sorry. (He does so.) I’m Dave.
DESTINY
Destiny. (A beat.) I don’t think I know a Dave.
DAVE
But… we’ve met before, haven’t we?
DESTINY
Feels like it. We’ve probably just seen each other around town.
1
[122]
DAVE
I don’t get out much. Are you ever on the west side?
DESTINY
Only when I see my doctor.
DAVE
Think we see the same one?
DESTINY
Not unless yours is a gynecologist. Maybe we have mutual friends.
DAVE
We can check Facebook.
DESTINY
Facebook’s for old people. Instagram?
DAVE
Instagram’s for high schoolers. You on a dating site?
DESTINY
Tinder, Bumble, and Ok Cupid. You?
DAVE
(Sheepishly) Just J-date.
DESTINY
Well, that rules out church. (With determination.) We’re figuring this out, though. Maybe we knew
each other as kids. Where’d you grow up?
DAVE
Salem.
DESTINY
Me, too. (Double-checks.) Massachusetts?
DAVE
(Sighs.) Oregon. (As if asking “What was the name of your high school?) High school?
DESTINY
(Shakes head.) Home School. College?
2
[123]
DAVE
USF.
DESTINY
(Excited because she went there, too.) South Florida!?
DAVE
San Francisco.
DESTINY
Dammit! This shouldn’t be so difficult. (Thinks.) Have you bought music from me over at Scratchy and
Skippy’s Used Records?
DAVE
I’m allergic to vinyl. I slice bacon at Dr. Cleaver’s Hog Ham-Porium. Ever eat there?
DESTINY
I’m a vegetarian, PETA member, and loving mother of three Potbellied Pigs.
DAVE
I’ll take that as a “no.” (Slides something just off-camera) And will put away this pork platter I prepared
as a demonstration.
DESTINY
Pork. Wait… (Looks at him for a beat.) Have we ever... (Makes a comical noise and gesture
suggesting a fling.)
DAVE
What? No. (Blushing a bit.) I think I would remember that.
DESTINY
Good. Cause I probably wouldn’t. (Laughs.) Too many fuzzy nights hopped up on Pop Rocks and
Red Bull, if you know what I mean?
DAVE
I honestly have no idea. We’ve seen each other before today, though. I know that. (Trying
options, more to himself.) An art show? The Farmer’s Market? Pottery class?
DESTINY
(Doing the same.) Hookah bar? Strip club? Federal prison?
DAVE
(Eyes widen at a sudden idea.) Wait a second! (Brushes it off.) No… that can’t be it.
DESTINY
Go on. Give it a shot. I’m not budging till we get this.
3
[124]
DAVE
Well. When I was sixteen, I… had a dream.
DESTINY
(Dubious.) Is this the part where you finally get creepy?
DAVE
It was like no dream I’d ever had before or since. Vivid and lifelike yet magical and surreal…
DESTINY
I’ve had a few like that myself. Probably the Pop Rocks and Red Bull.
DAVE
(Grows impassioned, recounting the dream.) I was alone on an ice-covered mountaintop, freezing to
death in a swirling blizzard. I had enough energy to make one desperate plea to be saved but…
instead of calling for help… I shouted, “I love you” and heard my voice echo into the chasm. (Imitates
an echo, softer each time.) I love you. I love you. I love you.
DESTINY
And… then you heard something. (She reacts, Unsure how she knew that.)
DAVE
(He nods.) A woman’s voice… echoing back…
DESTINTY
(She realizes she knows more.) As if saving you with a response. (Imitates an echo, softer each time.) I
love you. I love you. I love you. (Mostly to herself.) Could we have had the same dream?
DAVE
(His face flashes surprise. He continues.) Suddenly – in one glorious instant - the storm vanished,
the sun rose, and the ice melted into a crystal blue river which…
DESTINY
(As if remembering it herself.) … ran through the wildflowers and cascaded from the crest in a
spectacular waterfall.
DAVE
(He continues, their connection growing.) Then… in the distance… across a vast canyon… I saw the
figure of a woman…
DESTINY
… of a man.
DAVE
… and unable to be heard over the raging waters…
4
[125]
DESTINY
… and what sounded like a chorus of angels…
DAVE
… I raised my hands - and with no training in sign language whatsoever - I gestured…
DESTINY
We gestured…
DAVE and DESTINY

(Speaking slowly, in unison, making a perfectly synched sign language move.) Someday.
DESTINY
It was you.
DAVE
It was you.
DESTINY
(She smiles at him.) … the man from my dreams…
DAVE
(He smiles at her.) My… Destiny.
(They stare at each other, connecting across the distance. The moment is magical.)
DESTINY
(Quickly, with a flippant laugh.) Thank God we figured that out. It would’ve driven me nuts all
night! (Checks watch.) Well, gotta run. Nice seeing you again, Dave. (She clicks a button and
vanishes from the screen.)
(DAVE sits in disbelief, stunned. He stares at the screen, perhaps stabbing a slice of pork with his
knife to eat as the lights fade to black.)
THE END
5
[126]
T
heCOVI
DsofMar
ch
byNat
eBe ye
r,Cait
li
nCieri
,Kat
ieDoyle
,
KenGr
een,ScottKreme
r,Donal
dL of
tus,
Col
lee
nPor t
e r
,andI
reneL.Pynn
bas
edonani
deabyGr
egL
am
[127]
The COVIDs of March

Written for the Ultracrowdsourced Socially Distanced New Play Reading
Proposed and Overseen by Greg Lam
Written by Nate Beyer, Caitlin Cieri, Katie Doyle, Ken Green, Scott Kremer,
Donald Loftus, Colleen Porter, and Irene L. Pynn
Written collaboratively via a 3 hour, 10 minute google doc session

and performed via Zoom five hours after the beginning of writing
hosted by Project Y Theatre
March 22, 2020

[128]
Characters (Original Cast)
DAWN Dawn Anderson

ALYSSA Alyssa Franks
DEAN ALLFRANCE Holly Schaff
DON PHILLIPS Monte Oakley-World
LINDA LATTIMORE (Dawn’s Mom) Melissa Bergstrom
KELLY (Dawn’s Roommate) Elly Berke
The Story
DAWN and ALYSSA are both Freshman college students who are in a long distance relationship
with one another. DAWN is at the University of Washington in Seattle. ALYSSA is at NYU. They
talk to each other via video chat. They talk about the things that a young couple a bit uncertain in
their feelings might talk about long distance.
They don’t know that within a week the entire world will turn upside down.
Sunday
A call between Dawn in New York and Alyssa in Seattle. Dawn has sent Alyssa a teddy bear.
Dawn’s roommate’s is starting to be concerned about the virus. There are still crowds about in
New York.
Alyssa’s brother is in Europe. But Dawn is not worried. Alyssa is jealous of Dawn’s pretty but
straight roommate.
Alyssa’s birthday is Friday the 13th of March. Dawn is sending her something. There are plans for
her parents and brother to come to NYC.
They convince themselves that this news is a bit of an overreaction.
Monday
Dean Allfrance, a Dean at the U of Washington calls Don Phillips. Allfrance is having trouble with
the technology. Phillips is trying to convince the Dean of the seriousness of the situation. Some
places have begun shutting down. Phillips is proposing that UofW do the same. Allfrance is not
going along with that suggestion. Cites the amounts of money their sports teams make.
Allfrance declares that he’ll ultimately follow the Department of Health’s lead. For now they won’t
take drastic action. Allfrance inadvertently doesn’t know he’s still on conference call at the end.
Tuesday
Alyssa and Dawn scene. Dawn’s brother is in lockdown in Italy. Alyssa thinks the panic is dumb.
Says it’s just a flu. Alyssa still has plans to go out. Dawn’s a bit more concerned.
Wednesday
Dawn’s mom Linda calls Dawn. Linda is not very concerned. She is wearing a mask with a head
cold. But her husband was not successful in getting toilet paper.
They talk of Alyssa’s brother in Italy. Linda asks Dawn if she’s still with the romance with Alyssa,
as it seems “hard”.
Dawn’s hearing that they’re about to close the school (UofW). Linda is quarantined, so Dawn
can’t come home if UofW closes. Dawn is worried, but Linda says she is “fine, just fine”.
[129]
Thursday
Kelly, Dawn’s roommate, talks with Dawn via video chat even though they are roommates. Kelly
is making Dawn clean the apartment more, not talking to her in person and leaving cleaning
supplies out for Dawn to use.
Kelly is much more concerned about this than Dawn. Kelly is angry at Dawn for not being careful
enough cleaning, not using gloves, and possibly exposing them both to infection, presumably.
Dawn says she wants to go lie down. Kelly thinks that Dawn may have the virus. Dawn admits
that she might.
Friday
Linda and Alyssa on FaceTime. (Note that Alyssa is not Linda’s daughter). Linda wishes Alyssa a
Happy Birthday using a snack cake from her pantry instead of a birthday cake with candles.
Alyssa has not yet gotten Dawn’s package. Linda has a “tickle in her throat”. Alyssa lives in New
Rochelle, NY, which has been hard hit by COVID. She’s getting kicked out of school. Alyssa’s life
is very affected by the virus.
Alyssa invites Linda to come to New Rochelle if the virus dies down. Linda corrects her: “when” it
dies down. Linda offers Alyssa a place to stay if she gets kicked out of school.
Saturday
Allfrance and Phillips. Allfrance is freaking out about the press conference (by the POTUS). They
talk about him having cake for Pi Day, and him demanding a second cake because he doesn’t
like pie, and other ridiculous behavior.
Sunday Again
Dawn and Alyssa. Alyssa is spouting random facts she’s learned because she’s been so bored
during this lockdown, including the Ides of March.
Alyssa proposes that maybe things will be better after the Ides of March.
All of the characters of the play have been invited to the same conference call. The characters
pop up on screen.
Dean Allfrance announces that they have stopped the rising curve. There will be eight weeks of
continued distancing to go, but it appears that they’ll all survive. And wizened.
[130]
(This play was written in a simultaneous collaboration between 8 playwrights. The

playwrights’ original instruction, as conceived by Greg Lam, are below.)
Rules of Engagement
Playwrights are assigned 1 scene to work in. They can write whatever they like, so long
as they don’t knowingly contradict anything written by another playwright (unless that is
the point, but don’t be a jerk about it).
Every playwright has two hours in which to work. The first playwright has a 10 minute
headstart on the next playwright, who has a 10 minute headstart on the third, and so on.
But each playwright has only that two hours and must stop after their allotted time.
Playwrights must assign actors to the roles they create. Once that is done, the actor in
question plays that role and only that role, for their scene and all future scenes. You can
reuse actors and roles already assigned as you like.
There is no limit to the length of your scene. It can be as long or as short as you wish
and are capable of within your writing period.
A rule for this play: Every conversation must be structured between people talking via
video chat. And the play takes place in our world, with the events that have unfolded on
the specified days affecting the lives of these characters.
The available actors are listed at the front. You must utilize only those available actors
and each actor can only play the role assigned.
The overseer will not write but will monitor the writing, attempting to update the plot
summary as it unfolds. The overseer may contact playwrights offline if anything written
seems logistically impossible or problematically contradictory to something that someone
else has written. This will be done as minimally as possible to give playwrights space to
create.
The following paragraph styles have been provided. Do not alter them:
Stage Directions - Heading 1
CHARACTER NAME - HEADING 2

Dialogue - Normal Text
Unfortunately Google Docs do not allow for things like being able to set the next style
automatically.
[131]
Scene 1 - Irene L. Pynn

Sunday, March 8, 2020.
(Before everything happened)
In darkness, we hear typing. Then there is a

digital doorbell sound, and ALYSSA appears in
the video chat.
ALYSSA
Dawn? Can you hear me?
DAWN (UNSEEN)
Yep. Can you hear me?
ALYSSA
Yeah, but your video’s off.
DAWN (unseen)
Is it? Oh, duh.
There is a shuffling sound, and DAWN

removes the cover from her video cam. She
becomes visible.
ALYSSA
dThere you are.
DAWN
Here I am!
ALYSSA
I miss you.
DAWN
Your hair’s pretty today.
ALYSSA
I used that stuff you sent.
DAWN
It already got there? Across the country?
[132]
ALYSSA
The magic of snail mail! Thank you. And... (holds up a teddy bear
or other adorable stuffed toy)
DAWN
Do you like it?
ALYSSA
I love it! I’m going to sleep with it all night.
DAWN
I couldn’t be sure you’d like it, but I took a chance. It was so cute.
ALYSSA
It makes me feel like you’re here with me. (beat) How’s Seattle?
DAWN
My roommate’s starting to kind of freak about the virus thing.
ALYSSA
Do you think it’ll be a big deal?
DAWN
Maybe. I don’t know.
ALYSSA
Honestly, I haven’t slept well the past couple of days. It’s starting to
scare me, all the news. My brother’s in Europe. He’s supposed to
be home for my birthday, but I heard something about travel
bans…?
DAWN
He’ll be fine.
ALYSSA
You think? There’s a party I wanted to go to tonight, but I don’t want
to be -
DAWN
Kelly’s kind of germ-phobic, so -
ALYSSA
Who’s Kelly?
[133]
DAWN
Roommate. She’s hyping it up a lot, but come on, ya know?
ALYSSA
No?
DAWN
I mean… how’s New York City right now? Still a lot of people out
and about?
ALYSSA
Yeah. Loads.
DAWN
See?
ALYSSA
See what?
DAWN
I don’t think there’s much to worry about.
ALYSSA
Why not?
DAWN
First of all, this is hardly a poor, tiny country with zero resources.
We have plenty of stuff to get us through.
ALYSSA
Yeah, but they’re saying that if everybody gets sick at once, then -
DAWN
Second of all -
ALYSSA
I heard this thing about overwhelming hospitals, and how -
DAWN
Second of all, we’re living in 2020, not 1918 or the Middle Ages or
something.
[134]
ALYSSA
I hope you’re right. I still don’t think I’ll go out tonight.
DAWN
Don’t let yourself get too stressed out just yet. You’ll be fine. Your
brother’ll be fine. Your birthday will be fine.
ALYSSA
And what about you? They’re saying that in Seattle -
DAWN
(laughing) I’ll also be fine!
ALYSSA
You’d better be.
DAWN
I love you, dork.
ALYSSA
I love you, too. (beat) I’m really trying not to freak out.
DAWN
You’re being reasonable. Unlike Kelly, who is absolutely -
ALYSSA
I haven’t seen your roommate yet.
DAWN
She’s probably somewhere Lysoling a doorknob.
ALYSSA
What’s she… what’s she like?
DAWN
Are you asking whether she’s pretty?
ALYSSA
I don’t care whether she’s pretty. (not true)
DAWN
Well, she is pretty.
[135]
ALYSSA
(uncomfortable beat) Oh.
DAWN
(each item DAWN provides makes ALYSSA a little happier) And
straight. And nowhere near as beautiful as you. And an airhead.
And she loves Desperate Housewives.
ALYSSA
The show?
DAWN
She literally has like every episode saved on a thumb drive.
Watches them over and over. I’m getting to the point where I know
the characters’ names.
ALYSSA
Oh, my god, you poor thing.
DAWN
Yeah, so you have nothing to worry about. I assure you.
ALYSSA
I wasn’t worried.
DAWN
You were jealous. It was adorable. And guess what?
ALYSSA
What?
DAWN
I’m sending you another package. Mailing it off tomorrow.
ALYSSA
For what?
DAWN
For your birthday, dork. (affects a scary voice) Friday the 13th!
Woooooooo...
ALYSSA
But you already sent -
[136]
DAWN
You thought I wouldn’t send you anything for your birthday? If I
have to miss you turning 19, at the very least, I have to -
ALYSSA
What were the conditioner and (insert description of toy here - like
“bear”) for?
DAWN
Because I love you.
ALYSSA
Watch out, or I’ll start expecting something every few days. I
wonder what I’ll get for the Ides of March. Hope it’s not a dagger.
DAWN
Huh?
ALYSSA
It’s a joke we used to make in theatre every March. Don’t worry
about it.
DAWN
What are you planning for Friday?
ALYSSA
My parents are coming to the city. My brother’s flying in. We’ll
probably make a whole weekend thing of it. Maybe we’ll all go see
a show.
DAWN
Which one?
ALYSSA
(laughing) Do you even know what’s on?
DAWN
… The one with the dancing cat people?
ALYSSA
Cats?!
[137]
DAWN
Or is that a movie?
ALYSSA
You are 100% not a theatre geek.
DAWN
I have other charms.
ALYSSA
Yes, you do.
DAWN
I wish I could be there for your birthday, Lyss.
ALYSSA
It’s no big deal.
DAWN
It is a big deal. I know you wanted me to fly out, but with midterm -
ALYSSA
My family’s going to keep me distracted. And then, when you come
out later, we can do my birthday all over again.
DAWN
Extra presents!
ALYSSA
Extra presents!
DAWN
(sound of cell phone ringing) Oh, sorry - hang on. (she mutes
herself and picks up a phone - talks in silence while ALYSSA
watches)
ALYSSA
(starts making the stuffed toy do ridiculous things on the camera
while she waits for DAWN to finish)
DAWN
(hangs up the phone and unmutes) Hey. Sorry.
[138]
ALYSSA
Who was that?
DAWN
My mom.
ALYSSA
Aw, you should have told me. I would have said to say hi!
DAWN
I told her anyway. She said she hopes you’re having a great time in
the Big Apple.
ALYSSA
How are they doing? Does your mom still think I’m your best
friend?
DAWN
Well, you are my best friend.
ALYSSA
You think she’ll ever come around about us?
DAWN
She was calling to say she bought me some extra hand sanitizer.
ALYSSA
You see?? It IS a big deal!
DAWN
To my mom and my crazy roommate. Think about that.
ALYSSA
Maybe they have a point. And I like your mom. Even if she’s… old
fashioned or whatever.
DAWN
Google something for me.
ALYSSA
Okay.
[139]
DAWN
“How many people die of the flu each year?”
ALYSSA
Morbid. (types) Okay. (reads search results) Wow. That’s… that
can’t be right. From the flu? That many?
DAWN
Have you had the flu before?
ALYSSA
Yes.
DAWN
And did you die?
ALYSSA
(joking) Not that I’m aware of.
DAWN
Glad to hear it.
ALYSSA
You know, wow. You make a good point.
DAWN
That you aren’t dead?
ALYSSA
This Google search. I didn’t have any idea how many people died
from regular flu every year.
DAWN
Exactly.
ALYSSA
This is all just a huge overreaction.
DAWN
Well, -
ALYSSA
People are so stupid. I was being stupid.
[140]
DAWN
(realizes she has maybe calmed ALYSSA down too much, begins
walking it back a bit) Well, there’s nothing wrong with washing your
hands and not touching your face.
ALYSSA
Yeah, but I can’t believe I was so worked up over nothing.
DAWN
I’m glad you’re feeling calmer. It’s not nothing. There’s just no
reason to panic.
ALYSSA
The news was making me - like I had so much anxiety.
DAWN
You can call me when you feel like that.
ALYSSA
I will, for sure. But I feel a lot better now.
DAWN
It’s not nothing, Alyssa. It’s just that there’s no reason to -
ALYSSA
It’s basically nothing. (indicating the monitor in front of her) Look at
the numbers.
DAWN
(laughing) Listen to you. “Look at the numbers.”
ALYSSA
(laughing) Maybe it is the end of the world if I’m turning to math.
DAWN
I guess you could turn to worse things.
ALYSSA
Thanks for... everything. I always feel so much better when I can
see your face.
DAWN
We’ll see each other in real life soon.
[141]
ALYSSA
I can’t wait. You know what?
DAWN
What?
ALYSSA
I think I will go to that party tonight.
DAWN
When is it?
ALYSSA
In like 45 minutes.
DAWN
Go get ready! Be safe. Send me an XO before bed.
ALYSSA
Love you.
DAWN
Love you, too.
ALYSSA logs off, and then DAWN signs off.
END SCENE
[142]
Scene 2 - Ken Green

Monday, March 9, 2020
SETTING: Dean’s office, University of

Washington in Seattle.
ALLFRANCE
(speaking into laptop) Hello? Am I on? Can someone say some…
PHILLIPS
(responding) Yes, I’m h…
ALLFRANCE
If you’re there could you say some…
PHILLIPS
Yes, this is Don Phillips, I’m here, can you…
ALLFRANCE
(to someone out of view) I can’t … can you come here and…
PHILLIPS
Hi, Dean Allfrance, this is Don Phillips, I’m here. Everything’s good
on my end. We’re...
ALLFRANCE
(to person out of view) Well, why can’t I hear them? I can’t see
them, can they see me? (pause) Where? (pause) Well, there are a
lot of buttons here, which one…
PHILLIPS
Dean Allfrance, I can hear you. I can see you. I think we’re…
ALLFRANCE
What, this one? (pause) Oh, look at that. I can see you, Don? Say
something so I can tell if the volume…
PHILLIPS
Hi, Dean Allfrance, Don Phillips here. We can hear and see you.
[143]
ALLFRANCE
Great. I’ve never gotten the hang of this video online streaming
whatever. I prefer face to face.
PHILLIPS
Understandable. But it’s a brave new world out there. All kinds of
technological changes and…
ALLFRANCE
(impatient) Indeed, indeed, but it slows things down sometimes if
you ask me. The phone’s still a pretty decent mode of
communication if you ask me. Anyway, what’s on your mind?
PHILLIPS
Well, as you know, we’ve been tracking things here at the SDH and
we’re trying to coordinate some sort of plan of attack with regards
to what’s going on.
ALLFRANCE
It’s that serious?
PHILLIPS
We think it could be.
ALLFRANCE
Hence the call from the Health Department’s chief of staff, I guess.
PHILLIPS
Well, the Director’s pretty busy at the moment. Got a lot on his
shoulders, as you might imagine.
ALLFRANCE
I can. So how do we fit into this? If you need help from our Medical
Center, you should probably be talking to…
PHILLIPS
Well, as I said, it’s a little more serious than that. To speak frankly,
it seems to be spreading pretty rapidly. Already more than two
hundred cases reported in our state alone.
ALLFRANCE
Well, that’s not… extraordinary, is it? I mean, the flu…
[144]
PHILLIPS
This isn’t the flu, Dean Allfrance.
ALLFRANCE
Ok, it’s not the flu. But where exactly do we come in?
PHILLIPS
As I said, this has the potential to be an extremely volatile situation.
Fueled by public contact. To that end, we’re considering …
perhaps, seeking some way to limit… public interaction.
ALLFRANCE
And you want us to…
PHILLIPS
Not yet, mind you, but we’re looking at, perhaps asking institutions
to, maybe consider… ceasing operations. For the time being.
ALLFRANCE
And we’re one of those institutions?
PHILLIPS
One of many. We realize this might be a hardship, but as of now, it
appears to be the most effective way to…
ALLFRANCE
So, just to clarify, you’re asking us to close the school? The entire
school?
PHILLIPS
Not as of yet. We’re monitoring the situation and if it reaches a
critical juncture, we would ask that you, as dean…
ALLFRANCE
Don, with all due respect, are you folks at the SDH sure about your
projections? I mean, you’re suggesting that I shut down an entire
institution.
PHILLIPS
Just anticipating at this point.
[145]
ALLFRANCE
We’re talking more than forty-six thousand students, more than
twelve hundred faculty members. We’re talking about disrupting the
education process, cancelling important functions and events…
PHILLIPS
Again, just anticipating, but I think taking preventative measures
like perhaps quarantines or self-isolation would save a lot of…
ALLFRANCE
And, I’m hesitant to mention it, but there would be a substantial
impact on our revenue sources if we were forced…
PHILLIPS
Not forced…
ALLFRANCE
...to shut down operations. Did you know our men’s basketball team
posted more than ten million in revenue? Mens football, more than
fifty-three million? For the flu?
PHILLIPS
Again, with all due respect, this is not the flu. There are things
going on in Italy right now… at least ten thousand cases.
ALLFRANCE
Yes, but they’re not on lockdown, are they?
PHILLIPS
Not yet, but we expect soon.
ALLFRANCE
Well, I think we should take a cue from them and not jump the gun
on this. I respect your department’s expertise in this area, but it’s
my job to do what’s best for the University of Washington. We’ll
most definitely heed the Department of Health’s official request, but
until then, we’ll monitor the situation day to day, but remain fully
operational.
PHILLIPS
Well, we can’t force you to close, that’s the governor’s call. Or
someone with deep knowledge of the situation.
[146]
ALLFRANCE
Like the president…
(pause, then both laugh loudly)
PHILLIPS
But please consider this request very strongly. As you mentioned,
you’ve got more than forty-six thousand students to think about.
ALLFRANCE
I have an entire institution to think about. I shut this school down,
and what do we do with all the students who live here? Just send
them home? For many of them this IS home. We can’t lock them up
like prisoners.
PHILLIPS
Understood. (pause) But maybe also consider this from a PR
standpoint as well. Should the projections go as we expect, you
could have a media nightmare on your hands. Even if only one
student contracts the virus, they’re going to want to know what you
did and when you did it.
ALLFRANCE
I will take that under advisement, Mr. Phillips. I’m going to have to
leave you now. Please keep us posted.
PHILLIPS
And you do the same with us. I hope this all works out.
ALLFRANCE
I’m confident it will. Good-bye. (pause, then, to unseen person) Can
you believe that? Shut down the school? For the flu? They
seriously need to get their act… (pause) I’m what? Well, then how
do you shut it… Hi, Don, sorry, still new to this whole video
conferencing thing as I mentioned. Again, thank you for the very
informative… (pause, then to unseen person) Are you sure it’s off
this time?...
END SCENE
[147]
Scene 3 - Colleen Porter

Tuesday, March 10, 2020
(Italy goes on lockdown.)
Dawn is on voice-chat with Alyssa.
DAWN
Hey are you there?
ALYSSA
Yeah.
DAWN
What’s wrong?
ALYSSA
My brother… he’s in lockdown in Italy.
DAWN
Oh. He was in Italy?
ALYSSA
Yes I told you that!
DAWN
No you said he was in Europe.
Anyhow, that sucks.
So… they’re talking about extending spring break, maybe even

sending us home!
ALYSSA
Ok. That’s extreme. And I don’t think you get what I’m saying about
my brother…
Italy is going into total panic - stores are locked down and today no
one can leave their homes.. And he was just backpacking - doesn’t
even have a place to go.
DAWN
Oh. I’m so sorry Lyss.
[148]
ALYSSA
Yeah, I can’t believe all this - it’s so dumb. Look at all this chaos
and suffering caused by over-reacting.
DAWN
Well, maybe they know what they’re doing. Did you see how many
deaths are being reported in China. This is no small thing.
ALYSSA
You too? Geez, you sound like my mom. China says they’ve turned
a corner… it’s all going to be over soon. It was just a really bad flu
in a country lacking in healthcare.
DAWN
Then why are all these other countries freaking out?
ALYSSA
That’s a good question Dawn. Why ARE all these other countries
freaking out?
DAWN
Maybe because there’s something to it.
ALYSSA
Or maybe we’re going to look back on falling stock markets,
stranded travelers, and a canceled Spring semester of our first year
of college and say, “well that was a ridiculous reaction to a flu going
around in China”.
DAWN
Or maybe we’ll be glad to be alive.
ALYSSA
(Laughs) I hope you’re joking.
DAWN
Listen, it’s better safe than sorry. Just… take the suggested
precautions.. If for no reason than… because I love you.
ALYSSA
Now you are my mom.
(silence)
[149]
DAWN
Well… I’ve got plans to go out so…
ALYSSA
Oh? Who are you going out with?
DAWN
Just… my roommate and some of her girlfriends. We’re hitting a
couple karaoke bars.
ALYSSA
Karaoke huh? With Kelly? You don’t even like karaoke.
DAWN
It’s just… something to do. I’d be with you… but
ALYSSA
But I’m on the other side of the world?
(Pause. Alyssa continues.)
ALYSSA
And... it’s honestly going to kill me to not have you here for my
birthday.
DAWN
I miss you.
ALYSSA
I miss you too.
DAWN
Ok. Be safe.
ALYSSA
Byeee! (blows kiss)
[150]
Scene 4 - Nate Beyer

Wednesday, March 11, 2020
(Dawn finds out her mother has been quarantined.)
LINDA LATTIMORE
Sweetie! Are you there?
DAWN
Yep, mom, I’m here. In the screen.
LINDA
I know. I’m just never sure with this thing.
DAWN
Well, here I am. (pause). Oh my God, mom, why are you wearing a
mask?
LINDA
Oh, ha. You know. An abundance of caution.
DAWN
Are you sick?
LINDA
No.. I mean, not really.
DAWN
It’s a yes or no question, mom.
LINDA
Well, yes, just a stupid head cold. But everyone gets so worried
now.
DAWN
Did you go to the doctor?
LINDA
No, sweetie. They are not doing face to face visits. But I called. I’m
supposed to wear this mask for now.
DAWN
Will they test you?
[151]
LINDA
Oh, honey, it’s not that serious. Plus they don’t have any tests at
the moment unless you’re really sick. And I’m not! I’m fine. Just
sniffles and a tiny fever.
DAWN
You’re kind of freaking me out right now, mom.
LINDA
I really don’t want to worry you. I will be just fine.
DAWN
What does dad say?
LINDA
Oh, he says to wear the mask and the president will figure
something out soon.
DAWN
That sounds like a terrible plan.
LINDA
I know, but your father--
DAWN
Where is he now?
LINDA
He’s out-- getting toilet paper. There was none at the Piggly Wiggly,
but he heard in the internet that Home Depot still has some.
DAWN
Who cares about toilet paper?
LINDA
We already have a case in the basement.
DAWN (SHOUTING)
THIS IS NOT ABOUT TOILET PAPER.
LINDA
Please try to be calm about this, sweetie.
You’re not listening to that Billie Illish again, are you?
[152]
DAWN
Billie Ellish? What?
LINDA
I just think that music makes you depressed, honey. And we need
to stay positive right now. Smiling!
DAWN
Are you smiling?
LINDA
Yes, under my mask, I am smiling.
DAWN
I don’t think that’s enough.
LINDA
We’re following all the directions. We will probably not be able to
come for the spring parents’ weekend.
DAWN
I heard they were about to close the school.
LINDA
What? The entire school?
DAWN
It’s a rumor. We’ve been cleaning everything as best we could.
LINDA
What about classes? What about learning? We’re paying a fortune
for you to get an education. They are supposed to handle things
like this.
DAWN
That’s what they’re trying to do.
LINDA
By closing down? That’s silly.
DAWN
Why are you so… so relaxed about all this.
[153]
LINDA
I’m not. I’m just older and we’re used to taking things in stride. This
too shall pass. Anyway, your father wants to send you a care
package of masks and toilet paper.
DAWN
Oh my God, mom, will you please stop with the fucking toilet paper.
LINDA
Sweetie! Language! Please, I know this is stressful.
DAWN
Alyssa’s brother could not get back from Italy. The whole country’s
quarantined.
LINDA
Yes, but that’s Italy. They’re so…. Italian. I mean, when your father
and I went there years ago… it’s a wonder they get anything done.
The trains don’t run on time. People sleep until noon. And everyone
runs around kissing each other. I mean, if I left the hotel without
your father--
DAWN
Mom, why do you always do this?
LINDA
Do what, sweetie?
DAWN
Start babbling in a stressful situation. It’s like when you feel an
emotion start coming up, you have to wall it in with a layer of talk.
LINDA
I don’t know what you mean.
DAWN
Like when you dropped me off here in the fall.
LINDA
Yes, that was stressful, but I didn’t get all weepy.
[154]
DAWN
No, instead you talked non-stop for an hour about where all the
emergency phones were on campus and the shortest route to my
classes and what the cafeteria menu was for the week and pretty
much anything besides what was actually going on.
LINDA
That’s called being a mother. I wanted to make sure you were
safe.
DAWN
I would rather had you be all weepy.
LINDA
It’s not your job to cover my tears. You’ll understand when you
have kids of your own.
DAWN
(silence)
LINDA
So, you’re still talking to Alyssa?
DAWN
Yep.
LINDA
How’s that going?
DAWN
How’s what going?
LINDA
Your friendship.
DAWN
Oh, our friendship is going all right.
LINDA
Good.
DAWN
Yes, the friendship part is fine. It’s the romance that’s hard.
[155]
LINDA
Still with the romance?
DAWN
It’s who I am, mom.
LINDA
I know it’s who you think you are right now, but you’re so young,
sweetie. Why choose something so… hard.
DAWN
It’s harder to try to be something I’m not.
LINDA
But you’re so pretty. I’m sure you can find a guy--
DAWN
I don’t want to find a guy. I have no reason to find a guy.
LINDA
Fine, fine… (hears noise offstage). Hold on, your father’s back.
(talking to offstage) Christipher, Dawn’s on the phone.
DAWN
Mom?
LINDA
Christopher? Just put the toilet paper down and come here? What?
Fine.
DAWN
Mom?
LINDA
What, honey?
DAWN
What am I going to do if they close the school?
LINDA
That’s not going to happen.
[156]
DAWN
If it does. I’ll come home.
LINDA
Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry. You can’t.
DAWN
What? Why?
LINDA
I’m quarantined. I’m not supposed to go anywhere, and no one is
supposed to come here.
DAWN
Mom, you HAVE to get tested.
LINDA
We’ll see. The president says--
DAWN
The president is a moron.
LINDA
Please don’t say that too loudly. If your father hears it, he’ll start
shouting, and I’m too exhausted for that right now.
DAWN
Exhausted, mom? Are you okay?
LINDA
Of course. Just a cold. It will pass in a few days. If, for some
reason, your school decides to shut down, you can go stay with
your aunt Flo in Eugene.
DAWN
Really, aunt Flo? I haven’t seen her in like forever.
LINDA
Or we’ll put you in a nice hotel room. It will be like a vacation for a
couple weeks, then things will get back to normal.
DAWN
Yeah, I guess.
[157]
LINDA
Oh, I have to go.
DAWN
Mom?
LINDA
Yes?
DAWN
I love you. Please be okay.
LINDA
I’m fine. Just fine. And I love you too.
END SCENE
[158]
Scene 5 - Katie Doyle

Thursday, March 12, 2020
Kelly, Dawn’s roomate, in an adjoining room.
DAWN
Okay, Kelly I did what you asked. I scrubbed down the bathroom.
(Under her breath: This is…!)
Dawn clears her throat
DAWN
I used the Clorox wipes that you said your Mom left on her last visit
- you were right, they were over here in the closet. And I scrubbed
the toilet. And,you know that’s not my thing!
KELLY (QUIETLY)
I need more toilet paper and..
DAWN
Okay, wait a minute… here (She holds a pac up to the screen) I got
it…
KELLY
Oh my God, DAWN! Put the gloves on ! I can see you don’t have
them on! I left a big package of gloves over there for you! I’ll have
to sanitize the plastic wrap, before I can take the tissue out… Look,
look… Dawn, I know you don’t like me, and I’m sorry about that, but
you’re no ray of sunshine, either,,, But out of respect for you and
me, with Kelsey out of school from her appendicitis, and no one
else in her room… I thought this was best. And our RA is moving
other people who are still here… people who share rooms, we have
to distance socially, we have to… Look, I’m sorry we have to share
the bathroom... but, can you at least try to have some… I don’t
know, common courtesy here?
DAWN
Okay.
KELLY
Okay…. Okay? That’s it?
[159]
DAWN
Okay. I’ll put the gloves on and leave the paper on the counter,
inside my door.
KELLY
It’s a little late for that now.
DAWN
Well, what the hell!
Dawn clears her throat.

What do you want me to say Kelly? I made a mistake. Sorry. God!
This is giving me a headache!
KELLY
Well, I’m sorry, too. You know, All year I’ve been the one who tried
to keep that room clean - our room - and you… you just seem to
kind of ignore the dust and the mess. I get it. But this week and a
half, I cleaned OUR room, and cleaned this room so I could move -
out of your way - , so that we wouldn’t infect each other with
anything. I cleaned, In case something happens! Because, I try to
respect everyone, and you don’t seem to pay much attention to ALL
THIS… you’re just into your girlfriend. FINE! OKAY!
But have you been listening to the news? Do you even CARE?
DAWN
Yes. I...I care. God, Kelly, could you not be so like… anal. For
once, could you just calm down?
I will get you whatever you want from over here, and leave it on the
counter. I will wear gloves. I will follow your printed COVID-19
guidelines you’ve taped so neatly on the bathroom wall. Thank you
very much!
She clears her throat, is deflated.
But right now, I think I’m just going to go lie down.
KELLY
You’re gonna go lie down? In the middle of the day? That’s a first!
Miss, cutsey “I’ll do anything!... No, it’s too early to go to bed!” You
just…
[160]
DAWN
Kelly, could you just stop? Can we just, like stop this. I said I’m
going to lie down. I have a headache and I’m not feeling up to
arguing with you.
She clears her throat again.
KELLY
--
DAWN
I’m gonna lie down.
KELLY
Dawn, what’s going on?
`DAWN
What?
KELLY
What’s going on?
DAWN
I told you, I’m going to lie down.
KELLY
I mean, I’m used to your sarcasm, being catty…
DAWN
DAWN takes off sweater, coughs.
Like I said, I’m gonna lie down.
KELLY
Okay...
DAWN
Yup. I’m gonna lie down.
KELLY
Dawn, are you okay?
[161]
DAWN
Yah!... yes, I’m fine, It’s probably just my hay fever. I was gonna
take a Zyrtec before you called for the status of the
bathroom...
She moves to get her her pills, takes one.
… but got distracted by you… so now, I’ll take one, take a nap, and
I’ll be fine.
KELLY
Are you sure?
DAWN
Yeah.
KELLY
I heard you coughing in the bathroom yesterday…
DAWN
So?
KELLY
…. So…. that’s why I asked you to clean it… yesterday…
DAWN
… ANd I did clean it,,,
KELLY
… Today. This morning. I scrubbed it last night, because….
DAWN
KEl - LEEE, I do not want to do this. I ‘d just like to…
KELLY
Dawn. I’m not going to judge, okay? But you hang out with so many
different people, you’re really…. Social… I know you’ve ignored
the lockdown guidelines. They’re rules. For a reason.
So we don’t get … so you don’t get sick.
DAWN
I’m not..
[162]
KELLY
Could you be?
DAWN
I…
KELLY
Dawn, could you be sick?
DAWN
I… I guess, maybe. I don’t know. My mom… I think… I don’t feel
good. This sort of feels like my hay fever, but, I don’t...
KELLY
It’s okay, Dawn,
DAWN
Coughs again.
KELLY
It’ll be okay, I can call the Medical Center on campus, for you… Is
that okay?
Somebody has to know what to do. Okay? Jesus, Just… you have
to...Go lie down Dawn… it’ll be okay. I’ll get someone...
DAWN
I’m scared, Kelly. What if I’m sick?
END OF SCENE
[163]
Scene 6 - Caitlin Cieri

Friday, March 13, 2020
(Friday the Thirteenth)
LINDA calling ALYSSA over Facetime, wearing

a ridiculous hat of her choosing.
ALYSSA
Mrs. Lattimore?
LINDA
(Singing) Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy
birthday dear Alyssa! Happy birthday to you!
ALYSSA
Oh my god! What are you doing Mrs. Lattimore?
LINDA
Can’t I wish my daughter’s best friend a Happy Birthday?
ALYSSA
(Muttering) We’re a little more than friends, Mrs. Lattimore.
LINDA
Anyway, I heard about your brother and I thought you could use a
pick-me-up.
LINDA holds up whatever snack cake she has

handy. It may or may not have a candle.
ALYSSA
What is that?
LINDA
Well the bakery I usually go to decided to shut down for one of
those “deep cleanings.” And right before Pi Day, too! So, my
husband just grabbed some of these from the Piggly Wiggly. He
said it was a miracle they had any on the shelves.
ALYSSA
Thanks, Mrs. Lattimore. You shouldn’t have.
[164]
LINDA
Now close your eyes and make a wish.
ALYSSA
On FaceTime?
LINDA
Why not? My Zumba class is moving online. And practically all of
the University of Washington is online too. Did you know they’re
moving the painting classes online too? It’ll be like having Bob Ross
as your professor every single day. They’ll still have to get their own
supplies. I mean, you can’t paint on Facetime. Unless you got one
of those apps or something, but I wouldn’t really call that--
ALYSSA
Mrs. Lattimore. It’s fine. I’ll make my wish.
LINDA
Oh. Do you have it loaded up?
ALYSSA
Yes.
LINDA
Now close your eyes.
ALYSSA
Okay.
ALYSSA closes her eyes, peeking through one

of them. LINDA takes off her mask and “blows
out the candle” on the snack cake. LINDA
applauds and cheers, then coughs.
ALYSSA
Are you okay, Mrs. Lattimore?
LINDA
Oh, just a little tickle in my throat.
ALYSSA
You didn’t have to blow out that “candle.”
[165]
LINDA
Well, technology can’t do everything. So, how’s your birthday
coming along?
ALYSSA
It’s great. It’s really, really great. My parents were supposed to
come down today, but that didn’t work out.
LINDA
Shame on them! Missing your birthday!
ALYSSA
It is Friday the thirteenth. Anything that can go wrong, will go
wrong.
LINDA
Well, did you still get lots of cake and presents?
ALYSSA
Honestly, I haven’t been thinking about that lately.
LINDA
You know, Dawn said she sent you a package. Did you get that
yet?
ALYSSA
Not yet.
LINDA
Well, did she give you any hints about what you were getting?
ALYSSA
Why don’t you ask her?
LINDA
Oh, I couldn’t do that. She’s so busy with the closings and the
packing. I mean, she hasn’t even called me since Wednesday. She
said she was too tired to talk yesterday.
ALYSSA
Yeah. I guess she must be busy. Everyone’s been really busy
these days.
[166]
LINDA
Oh.
ALYSSA
I’ve got to go, Mrs. Lattimore. I’m supposed to be packing.
LINDA
Packing? Not you too!
ALYSSA
You saw the news, right? All of New York is panicking, and New
Rochelle’s on lockdown.
LINDA
That’s just one city, Alyssa. New York’s pretty big.
ALYSSA
I live in New Rochelle! And I have to be off campus by Monday, and
they don’t even care. It’s like “You don’t have to go home, but you
can’t stay here.”
LINDA
Oh. I’m so sorry, sweetie.
ALYSSA
My parents are quarantined by the National Guard, my brother’s
quarantined by Italian border patrol, and everyone at NYU is
jumping ship.
LINDA
Are your parents…
ALYSSA
They’re fine.
LINDA
...Is your brother…
ALYSSA
I don’t know. They keep saying it’ll take two weeks before we know
for sure.
[167]
LINDA
Well, if you’re afraid of catching the coronavirus in New Rochelle,
then you can always come on down to Charleston. You can stay in
our guest bedroom.
ALYSSA
Mrs Lattimore, I couldn’t!
LINDA
Of course you can! We’re not locking down anytime soon. And if
you’re worried about me, then I can just hole up in my bedroom and
do my online Zumba.
ALYSSA
What about your husband? I know he can be kind of...
LINDA
We just want everyone in our family to be safe. And we know that
whatever you and Dawn have right now, you mean the world to her.
ALYSSA
Thanks, Mrs. Lattimore. That means a lot.
LINDA
Every day with this virus, it feels like I’m learning something new.
And I don’t mean to brag, but I was a straight-A student back in the
day.
ALYSSA
Thanks. You know, there’s some really good bakeries in New
Rochelle. You should come down and get yourself some pie. You
know, if this dies down.
LINDA
When this dies down, Alyssa. When. Oh, and if you do come down
and you and Dawn want to do…
LINDA makes an incredibly awkward hand

gesture. ALYSSA’s body tenses up.
LINDA
Just put a sock on the door. Keep it classy.
[168]
ALYSSA
Oh my God, Mrs. Lattimore!
ALYSSA immediately hangs up on LINDA. She

pauses, then calls DAWN.
ALYSSA
Hey girlfriend. So your mom just wished me Happy Birthday and
said I could live in her guest bedroom…
END SCENE
[169]
Scene 7 - Scott Kremer

Saturday, March 14, 2020
(Pi Day)
ALLFRANCE
Did you see that press conference?
PHILLIPS
Yep.
ALLFRANCE
And?
PHILLIPS
And what?
ALLFRANCE
What the fuck?
PHILLIPS
It wasn’t that bad.
ALLFRANCE
Were we watching the same thing? It was bad. “I got money but I
don’t need money. It’s spreading quickly, but it will disappear like
magic. People will be dying, but not most people.” I mean - Are
we shaking hands, not shaking hands? Concerned about the
economy, not concerned about the economy? For crying out loud,
the NBA shut down. The freakin’ NBA.
PHILLIPS
I know, I know, but he’s got it under control.
ALLFRANCE
This is under control?
PHILLIPS
Absolutely, perfectly under control. It’s going to be fine. I heard
they had a big cake in the oval office for Pi day.
ALLFRANCE
What?
[170]
PHILLIPS
They had a cake. It’s Pi day.
ALLFRANCE
They had a cake for Pi day?
PHILLIPS
Yeah, he doesn’t like pie.
ALLFRANCE
So, they had a cake instead?
PHILLIPS
Right, it’s Pi day. He doesn’t like Pi, so they made a cake, but they
made a mistake and told him that the cake was pie, and hoped that
he’d try some and like it, and then he could say that he had pie on
Pi day, but it didn’t work out that way. He refused to try it, because
he doesn’t like pie, so then they had to make a second cake.
ALLFRANCE
A second cake?
PHILLIPS
Right, they made a second cake, that looked a lot like the first cake,
but this time they told him that it was actually cake, so he did try it,
and he liked it, but then they had a problem because they had to
explain why he was eating cake in honor of Pi day, and it seemed
odd to say that he was eating cake on Pi day, because he doesn’t
like pie. So, they decided to say that Pi day celebrates both the
irrational number 3.14 and cake.
ALLFRANCE
So, they had cake today to celebrate an irrational number. Seems
right. This is all irrational.
PHILLIPS
It’s fine. It’s under control and it’s all going to be fine. Just keep
telling yourself, “it’s under control and it’s all going to be fine.” That
is the official word on this. “It’s under control and it’s all going to be
fine.” They’re having hats made. And T-shirts.
ALLFRANCE
Terrific.
[171]
PHILLIPS
No, it is. It is terrific. They had a lovely time today with the cake. It
was a little dicey at first, because he wanted part of the blue bow,
but they had already cut through the bow. But then they got the
kitchen to bring up another blue bow, but actually, they were out of
the blue icing so they brought up a purple bow, but they told him
that it was blue. So, now we all have to remember that the color
purple is now the color blue.
ALLFRANCE
The color “blue.” A primary color? We changed a primary color?
PHILLIP
Right. There was no other way.
ALLFRANCE
No one could tell him that they were out of blue frosting bows?
PHILLIPS
They weren’t out. They had plenty. It was just that the pigment of
the bows did not reflect the hue that he required. This was clearly
a bow issue. There was plenty of blue frosting bows available, they
just didn’t realize that they were blue.
ALLFRANCE
So, it was the bow’s fault?
PHILLIPS
Exactly.
ALLFRANCE
And what is the color blue now?
PHILLIPS
What?
ALLFRANCE
If purple is now blue, what’s blue? Like the flag, that’s now the red,
white and what?
PHILLIPS
Oh, huh. . .I don’t know. Maybe we change the color on the flags.
[172]
ALLFRANCE
Change the blue to purple?
PHILLIPS
As of now blue is purple, so really the third color on the flag is an
unnamed color, which we will substitute with the color that was
formerly known as purple but now known as blue
ALLFRANCE
So, the flag will be red, white and purple, but since we’re now
calling “purple” blue, we’ll still call it “the old red, white and blue,”
even though it will be red, white and purple?
PHILLIPS
Well, since purple is now blue, it will still be red, white and blue,
even if it is red, white and purple. So, really there is no change.
See, it’s under control and it’s all going to be fine.
ALLFRANCE
And this is all because he wanted a blue frosting bow?
PHILLIPS
Right, oh, and there was an issue with the milk.
ALLFRANCE
The milk?
PHILLIPS
Can’t have cake without milk.
ALLFRANCE
Let me guess, he wanted chocolate, but all they had was low fat, so
now we have to call all low fat milk “chocolate.”
PHILLIPS
Nope, he wanted Ovaltine.
ALLFRANCE
And did they have Ovaltine?
PHILLIPS
Sort of. See, last year for National Bird Day, he wanted to have an
egg roll.
[173]
ALLFRANCE
An egg roll to celebrate birds, O.K., I sort of see that, but what
about Easter?
PHILLIPS
Right, there was that and the fact that he thought egg roll meant,
you know, an egg roll from a Chinese restaurant kind of egg roll.
ALLFRANCE
Did he think that kids on Easter would go searching for appetizers
hidden on the lawn?
PHILLIPS
Apparently, and it’s a whole other story, but when they told him that
the Easter eggs that they were using were egg rolls, he demanded
that huge vats of duck sauce, which he called “dunk” sauce, be
placed all around the yard, but fortunately something came on T.V.
to distract him, so they didn’t have to do that.
ALLFRANCE
So, what does this have to do with Ovaltine?
PHILLIPS
Yes, a very good question, you see for National Bird Day he
wanted an egg roll, which they really couldn’t do, so they sat him
down to tell him, and they figured that if he had a warm beverage it
might calm him so that he’d not take it so badly. So, they gave him
a cup of tea. But he’s terrified of tea. Nobody knew. But boy did
they find out. So, they cleaned that up, and then told him that it
was Ovaltine. And he liked it. So, when they were having cake
today, they were going to have milk, but he said that he wanted
Ovaltine, so, of course -
ALLFRANCE
They gave him tea.
PHILLIPS
Correct. See, it’s under control, and it’s all going to be fine.
ALLFRANCE
It’s a good thing I closed the school.
PHILLIPS
Yeah.
[174]
END SCENE
[175]
Scene 8 - Donald Loftus

Sunday Again, March 15, 2020
(The Ides of March)
A ZOOM session is about to begin but only

DAWN is seen on the screen. Once everyone
arrives it will look like the HOLLYWOOD
SQUARES set.
DAWN
Is anybody there?
ALYSSA
Hey girlfriend! Idus Martii!
DAWN
What?
ALYSSA
It’s Latin!
DAWN
Oh sorry…I’m not up on my dead languages. What does it mean?
ALYSSA
It means, “the Ides of March” ...as in “Beware the ides of March”
DAWN
Ahhh…
ALYSSA
Did you know that March 15th is 74th day in the Roman calendar?
DAWN
No, but I suppose if asked I could have counted that out…
ALYSSA
And it was used for several religious observances…but also most
notably used by the Romans as a deadline for settling debts.
DAWN
So, is that what the warning is about? Beware your Amex is due?
[176]
ALYSSA
No, that “Beware” stuff was specifically a warning to Julius
Caesar…because that was the day he was going to be
assassinated.
DAWN
Ahh…
ALYSSA
The ides were always a shitty day….
DAWN
It certainly was for ol’ Julius!
ALYSSA
Originally the Ides were supposed to be determined by the full
moon, reflecting the lunar origin of the Roman calendar. In the
earliest calendar, the…..
DAWN
Ugh! Okay, enough already! Why are you telling me all this about
the damned Ides of March!?!
ALYSSA
Because I am losing my mind in this quarantine! This lock down!
I’m now reading stuff on the internet that I gave a shit about
because I’m am so friggin’ bored!
DAWN
Maybe you should take a break from it…
ALYSSA
I took a break from CNN. I was watching that 24/7…which I had the
time to do because God knows, I wasn’t sleeping…
DAWN
Really. I’m worried about you! It hasn’t even been two weeks yet
and they think this is going to go on for months.
ALYSSA
Did you know…in addition to the full moon stuff…the Ides of March
were also the time of the month for the monthly sacrifice.
[177]
DAWN
ALYSSA!!!
ALYSSA
Just this one more fun fact! First they’d have this big
feast…dancing, drinking, carrying on…and then they’d kill someone
as the finale!
DAWN
Nice...
ALYSSA
It was usually some old dude wearing animal skins…
DAWN
And so again....what is your point in telling me all of this?
ALYSSA
My point is… the Ides of march have always been pretty much
of a bummer… like the worst day the year….
DAWN
Okay…
ALYSSA
So, I am thinking…maybe once we are past the Ides…things will
get better. Maybe we are almost past this thing…
DAWN
Yeah, umm..I don’t think so. Listen...I need to tell you a couple of
things before the others arrive…
ALYSSA
What? And who is coming...or rather who is going to be on this
video call.
DAWN
It is not a video call...It is called Zoom.
ALYSSA
Whatever…
[178]
DAWN
My roommate, Kelly…
ALYSSA
The pretty one…
DAWN
The only one. She has gone to Pittsburgh to be with her
family. And her finance...Don….
ALYSSA
Wait! She’s engaged!?!
DAWN
Yes, Don Phillips. He’s some Big Wig with the health
department….like a scientist of something...
ALYSSA
That will come in handy these days. I can’t believe the airhead
snagged a scientist!
DAWN
Opposites attract. Look at us!
ALYSSA
Ha!
DAWN
And my mother…she needs the diversion...
ALYSSA
All these people are going to fit on the screen
DAWN
Yeah...it will look like the Hollywood Squares set.
ALYSSA
I want to be Paul Lynde…to block. And what is the purpose of this
ZOOM....
[179]
DAWN
Oh, I forgot the best part. Dean Allfrance...from the University of
Washington...he’s apparently got a message for us. I’m hoping it is
good news. That’s why I invited my Mom. She needs some good
news.
SUDDENLY THE SCREEN CHANGES AS

ONE BY ONE THE OTHER CHARACTERS
ARRIVE
KELLY
Hello?
DAWN
Hey Kelly. How’s Pittsburgh?
KELLY
I’m locked up with my family for two weeks and counting. How do
you think it is?
LINDA
Hello. Can anybody see me?
DAWN
Hey Mom. Yes, can you see us?
LINDA
Now I can…
ALLFRANCE
Good afternoon all. Dean Allfrance here…
(ALL)
Good afternoon. Hey there! Etc.
DON PHILLIPS
Hey everyone, Don Phillips here…
[180]
DAWN
Okay...I think we are all here. First let me just tell you all… the
reason I’ve asked you to join this call is because Dean Allfrance
asked me to assemble those people that are closest to me. And
you are they! So far, this situation...this virus...has been the most
bizarre, surreal and trying time any of us have ever gone through.
And I for one, am so happy to have had each of you around me...or
at least via Skype, Facebook, Zoom...to get me through it. So now I
turn it over to Dean Allfrance.
ALLFRANCE
Thank you Dawn. I wanted to talk to you all today...a group of
strangers to me...but obviously important to Dawn...to just give you
an update and get your reaction to the situation. This is for a paper
I’m writing for the University but I also intend to share it with the
administration... hoping they will listen.
LINDA
Is it good news Professor? My daughter thought you would bring us
some good news…
ALLFRANCE
Here is the news...as good as it can be news. It may not be what
you were hoping for...but it is actually very good news indeed. We
have stopped the rising curve of the pandemic. The rising death
rate has finally leveled off and in fact nearly stopped. People are
recovering and new cases are few. . Through everyone’s efforts to
self-quarantine, only go out when you absolutely have to ...wash
your hands...etc, etc...we have all survived. While the worldwide
loss has been horrific...at least, for those of us who have made it
this far...it appears we are going to survive.
DAWN
So is the quarantine over?
ALLFRANCE
No, we need a few more week….maybe up to eight. But then…
They all sigh in frustration.

[181]
DAWN
No wait. We didn’t just survive. We grew. We learned. And not just
us. We entered this crisis as a world filled with hate...and
anger...and racism...and homophobia...and bigotry...and on and on.
I really think through this people have once again learned the
importance of caring for each other. Caring for our fellow human
beings. I truly believe we will rise out of this stronger...and wiser
and kinder.
ALYSSA
That’s my girl!
ALL
(ad lib)
Absolutely. I agree. Yes, indeed.
DON PHILLIPS
Here’s to the new world!
ALL
To the new world!
BLACKOUT

Scene Study Emergency Pack Vol 2

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Scene Study Emergency Pack Vol 2

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

SCENESTUDY

SCENE STUDY EMERGENCY PACK

In the MeanTime by Sharon E. Cooper pg. 2

Lifestyle Content by Lia Romeo pg. 14

Zoom by Israel Horovitz pg. 26

The Spaceship Lands on Christmas by Sydney Painter pg. 30

Our Friends by Joan Lipkin pg. 35

Scene from i by Jeff Talbott pg. 40

I Dream Before I Take the Stand by Arlene Hutton pg. 50

Together, Even When You’re Not by Kitt Lavoie pg. 81

Conference Call by Pete Barry pg. 101

Last Call by Lia Romeo pg. 108

A Dave with Destiny by Ken Preuss pg. 119

Stephanie Mullins, 31 F. Daycare worker, quirky, likes to

Paul Alexander, 37 M. Accountant, always irons his button-

Two people are speaking remotely in

STEPHANIE, 31, in a living room, has done

PAUL, 37, in a bedroom, has had enough.

He sees the receipt in her hand.

He slides his hand over the phone.

He looks down at the timer.

Stephanie slumps down, her back on the

The timer goes off.

Paul looks through his phone.

Paul puts his hand on the phone. She puts

He takes a screenshot from his phone.

What are you doing?

Lights fade to Black. End of Play.

KIM, 20s, female

The future, or something like it

(KIM, KATIE, KELLY, and RACHEL are on a conference call.

KATIE, KELLY, and RACHEL are wearing cute outfits, makeup,

KIM is wearing sweats and has her hair in a messy ponytail.)

(KELLY sulks. KATIE beams.)

Kim. How about you? What have you got?

(KELLY and KATIE are shocked.)

(KELLY and KATIE are shocked.)

(KIM exits the call.)

(KATIE and RACHEL are shocked.)

Or – maybe not right, but she’s not completely wrong.

Maybe we aren’t losing readers because they’re – well.

(Beat. RACHEL thinks, then)

(KELLY beams. KATIE sulks.)

(RACHEL exits the call.

KELLY exits the call.

Play takes place using a software ZOOM ... or

Start play with TWO WINDOWS. FRANK is in

WINDOW #2 opens. We meet ALEX.

FRANK’s window closes.

ALEX hits keys on his computer.

We meet: ROG, ROB and WINSTON.

The FOUR WINDOWS suddenly multiply into

MORE IMPROVISED VOICES OF COMPLAINT join

WINDOWS multiply into SIXTY WINDOWS.

SIXTY WINDOWS multiply into HUNDREDS of

CACOPHONY OF COMPLAINT continues over

© Israel Horovitz 2020

The Spaceship Lands on Christmas

Joey 6 more days.

Joey I’m a little scared.

Joey No. I’m not. I think I can’t.

Piper: What are you the most excited for?

Piper: What’s happening right now?