CHAPTER 4 WRITING IMPROVEMETN EXERCISES

Flabby Expressions: Revise the following sentences to eliminate flabby phrases.

16 We cannot complete the construction at this point in time due to the fact that building costs have jumped at a
considerable rate.

17 In the normal course of events, we would seek additional funding; however, in view of the fact that rates have
increased, we cannot.

18 In very few cases has it been advisable for us to borrow money for a period of 90 of fewer days.

19 Inasmuch as our sales are increasing in a gradual manner, we might seek a loan in the amount of $50,000.

20 Despite the fact that we have had no response to our bid, we are still available in the event that you wish to
proceed with our building project.

Long Lead-Ins: Revise the following to eliminate long lead-ins.

21 This is an announcement to tell you that parking permits are available in the office.

22 We are sending this memo to notify everyone that anyone wh wants to apply for telecommuting may submit an
application immediately.

23 I am writing this letter to inform you that you new account executive is Edward Ho.

24 This is to warn you that cyber criminals use sophisticated tools to decipher passwords rapidly.

There is/are and It is/was Fillers: Revise the following to avoid unnecessary there is/are and it is/was fillers.
25 There is a password-checker that can evaluate your password’s strength automatically.

26 It is carless or uninformed individuals who are the most vulnerable to computer hackers.

27 There are computers in Internet cafes, at conferences, and in airport lounges that should be considered unsafe for
any personal use.

28 A computer specialist told us that there are keystroke-logging devices that gather information typed on a
computer, including passwords.

Redundancies: Revise the following to avoid redundancies.

29 Because his laptop was small in size, he could carry it everywhere.

30 A basic fundamental of computer safety is to avoid storing your password on a file in your computer because
criminals will look there first.

31 The manager repeated again his warning that we must use strong passwords.

32 Although the two files seem exactly identical, we should proofread each and every page.

Trite Business Phrases: Revise the following sentences to eliminate trite business phrases.
33 Pursuant to your request, I will submit your repair request immediately.
34 Enclosed please find the list of customers that will be used in our promotion.

35 As per your request, we are sending the contract under separate cover.

36 Every effort will be made to proceed in accordance with your wishes.

Jargon, Slang, Clichés, Wordiness: Revise the following sentences to avoid confusing, jargon, slang, clichés, and
wordiness.
37 Our manager insists that we must think outside the box in promoting our new kitchen tool.

38 Although we got burned in the last contract, you can be sure we will stand our ground this time.

39 Beyond the shadow of a doubt, our lousy competitor will make another snarky claim that is below the belt.

40 If you refer back to our five-year plan, you will see that there are provisions for preventing blowing the budget.

Buried Verbs: Revise the following to unbury the verbs.

41 After investigating, the fire department reached the conclusion that the blaze was set intentionally.

42 Our committee promised to give consideration to your proposal at its next meeting.

43 When used properly, zero-based budgeting can bring about a reduction in overall costs.

44 Did our department make an application for increased budget support?

45 The budget committee has not taken action on any projects yet.

46 Homeowners must make a determination of the total value of their furnishings.

Precise, Direct Words: Revise the following sentences to improve clarity and precision. Use your imagination to add
appropriate words.
47 Someone told us that it would be available for rent soon.

48 Please contact us in the immediate future.

49 An employee from that organization notified us about the change in date for the event.

50 She said that the movie she saw was not very good.