What Ifs?

Our mind is like an ocean deep. Sometimes when we think too much or worry too much, our thoughts
become like a tsunami. It can be too deep, too silent, and too loud and it scattered everywhere. When
this situation happened, we started overthinking about what ifs.

Now, there’s a girl who has a lot of what ifs in her mind.  Thinking of questions that have no answers and
will never be answered.

She’s the eldest child. Being the eldest, pressure is real. You can’t even relax nor give up, considering
your responsibilities and maturity in life. Thinking that it is your job to build the foundation of the
success of everybody in your family. What if she is the youngest? How does it feel? What if they are not
eight siblings? What if she is the only child?

She graduated business administration and she knows that this leads her the way of what she became
right now. Just this year, an opportunity knocked on her door, where she believes she can learn more
and grow in her current position. Her boss always gives her encouragement and one of it is to encourage
her to join a training where there is good communication training for her. What if she took an education
because in the first place it is her dream job to become a teacher? What if she became a teacher?

She is a positive thinker. Having a positive vision, no matter how bad her current circumstances are. She
is a cheerful person who usually likes to joke something and laugh. Actually, she has 3 jokes now. Joke!
Joke! Joke! Being a positive thinker is somehow her source of energy to lift up herself. What if she is
pessimistic? What if she is boring? What if she is a killjoy?

She doesn't know how to dance but she can sing like this.
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

What if she cannot sing like that? What if she can do both?
She is a dark and short girl. What if she is fair and tall?
She has a lot of what ifs in mind but this does not mean she has a lot of insecurities and jealousies in life.
She is just asking what will be her life behind those what ifs. She is not looking forward to those what ifs
because she is grateful for where she is and what she became right now. 

She realized that there should be no more what ifs. Because why she would waste time on things that
haven’t happened. She will focus on the present to help her future.
And she believes everything that happens in her life, positive or negative, happens for a reason. And by
way of reflecting on every moment, she learns from it, and appreciates it in hindsight, then every
moment this allows her to grow into the person she is meant to become.