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How To Teach My Soyriené To Control Me- The BOSM Te
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How To Teach My Boyfriend To Control Me - The BDSM
Training Academy
5-6 minutes
Iwas in a D/s relationship for 3 years until he had to move back to Australia. Now that | have told my
‘new partner that | am submissive, he would lke to understand me and the lifestyle as well as he knows
that I do not want a vanilla relationship.
He said he has always found it interesting and | was attracted to him as he is naturally a dominant
person.
My problem is as a submissive how do | teach him to be Dominant and control me?
| would be very grateful if you could give me some advice on this matter
Many thanks
Kathryn
Master Bishop's Response
One of the things that boggle my mind about 8DSIM is this idea that that a Dominant should just ‘know’
what a slave wants. While i's true that many submissives are interested in the same types of play, they
are not all the same person,
‘This sort of thinking has led a number of submissives like you to have the question of how they can
teach a Dominant to control them, but there's always a hesitation in these questions.
How do you get anyone to know what you like and what you don't like? YOU TALK TO THEM. You need
to sit with this new partner and tell them what you enjoy about being a submissive, the sorts of things.
you'd like done to you, and what you don't want them to try with you.
You need to be clear about what gives you pleasure, what gives you a rush, and what tums you off
‘completely. You cannot simply expect a Dominant to just know what you want,
‘Some submissives | know, and I hope you're not one of them, will try to manipulate their scenes with a
Dominant, saying that they are ‘teaching’ them how to control them. NO. When you give contral to
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How To Teach My Soyiené To Control Me- The BOSM Te
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someone else, you trust them to do things that will control you. You trust them to keep your limits in
mind,
‘The ONLY times a submissive should speak up during a scene are when they are being physically
‘damaged, when a preset limit is being cross, when your Dominant is asking you a question or when you
want to let them know that you really are enjoying what they are doing by thanking them. That's it
Additionally, a submissive isnt geting enough punishment, for example, they should not actvely try to
be bad in order to get their way.
(One way to express what you like doing a scene is to just thank your Dominant for doing what they are
doing,
hank you Mast
for giving Me this spanking its turning Me on so much”
+ "Thank you Sir, | love to worship your cock”
+ “Thank you Master, for flogging this sub girl. Its feels so good when you swing it down on
your sub ass’
Its called positive feedback and does wonders for letting your Dominant know what you are enjoying
‘The best way to educate your boyfriend about what you lke is to sit down and talk with your partner
‘about the way that your relationship wil work in the context of BDSM. This should be a lengthy
‘conversation that takes place far from the bedroom, notin the middle of having sex. You need time to
discuss the needs of both partners and this isn’t something to be done quickly. Once you've had this
discussion, then you can start to try things out in the bedroom. Some things will work, some will not, I's
‘part of the process.
Don't expect perfection. No Dominant, beginner or experienced will ever be able to give you the exact,
BDSM scene that you have dreamed about for the past 10 years. There is a big difference between
fantasy and reality and you must make sure you understand that before you even start.
It can also help to debrief about a scene after it's over and the power balance has been restored. In
doing so, you will both learn about what you need from each other, and you will be able to create a more
satisfying result. Again, this gives you an opportunity to express what you liked and what you didn't like,
‘And don't be afraid to try things that your partner thinks might work (outside of your hard limits, of
course), as you might be surprised at what they come up with,
Don't sit there and think about how you can teach a Dominant to control you. Instead, talk about what
turns you on as a submissive and then let them find their own style. Yes, there will be things you
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How To Teach My Soyriené To Control Me- The BOSM Te
ing Academy : Reader View
might enjoy more than others, but if you're being controlled, the heart of being submissive, you are most
likely to enjoy the results by letting go of that control.
I both you and your partner are new to Domvsub play, then go here, so the both of you can learn more
about BDSM together.
Regards,
Master Bishop
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