Are You Ready?

Question: Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question,
"How do you know if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help, you
may interview two other people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the factors
predicting marital success, look at your own past relationships. What factors, such as
background, personality characteristics, and relationship characteristics, might have predicted
the quality of your relationship? Were any particular characteristics especially important for
you? Why?

Response:
Marriage is one of the biggest, impactful events of one's life. It determines who you will
potentially spend the rest of your life with. Figuring out who you want to marry and if you’re a
good fit is very important and impactful.

If someone asked me how you know if you are ready for marriage, I would tell them there are a
lot of things to consider. I think a lot of questions have to be asked. Do you feel like this is the
right person? Are you financially stable enough to get married? Is the couple mature enough for
marriage and starting a family? I think a big part of it is if you feel ready to take that big step in
life and in the relationship.

Look at both persons' relationship backgrounds. How and why did the past relationships end? If
they ended poorly, this can reflect how the current relationship will go. It can be a red flag and
help advise if marriage should even be a consideration. One of my extended family members
recently cheated on his wife and already got remarried. I think the girl he remarried should have
considered his past marriage before jumping in so fast. If he cheated on his wife, what will make
their new relationship any different? I think in considering marriage, looking at someone past
relationships is very important and can help reflect what the future of yours will be.

I also think it’s important how your potential partner interacts with their family and your family.
Do you like how they treat them? In my experience, how someone treats their family can also
reflect in how they treat you. If they treat their family poorly or don’t speak to their mothers
kindly, they probably won’t talk to you as nicely later on. It’s also important how you treat your
family. If a potential partner treats your family bad, they won’t like them and won’t want them
around. This can ruin family relationships. I think in most cases, retaining and keeping
immediate family relationships is more important than a potential love.

Age is also an important factor for some people. The book mentioned that as of 2013 the
average age of marriage was 29 for men and 26.6 for women. (Strong & Cohen, 2017, p. 277.)
So the person in this example being 21 might be a red flag. I think a lot of people would say to
wait until you’re a little older. I do think in some cases and some people should. However, most
of my family members have gotten married at a much younger age. My mom was 18 and my
dad was 21 when they got married. Most of my cousins and younger aunt and uncles have
gotten married between the ages of 20 and 25. I think that has set an example in my life and
age doesn’t really matter to me like it does to most people. I think it’s more about if you feel
ready, while not being blinded by your good feelings for the other person.

There are many things to look at and consider before getting married. I think it's different to
everyone's relationships and each pair of people. I think people should really reflect and think
about if they are ready and if the relationship feels right before taking this big of a step.

Reference:

Strong B., & Cohen, T.F. (2017). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a
changing society (13th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.