SYNOPSIS

John Vardar is an out-of-luck actor, working as a fake Santa in a mall during the Christmas
sales season. When things go from bad to worse and he’s out in the snowstorm naked, he sees the
light. The light in this case is an alien spaceship tractor beam that abducts him. John wakes up
surrounded by robots. The ship’s captain, a narcissistic robot named Z’ark, puts a shock collar on
Johh and gives him a tour around the ship, showing the many aliens he has kidnapped. After singing
a song about how lovely it is to be Z’ark, he tosses John into a jail cell.

John is now just another intergalactic prisoner in Z’ark’s “Universal zoo”. Z’ark keeps the
discipline in the zoo with the help of an army of robots at its command. In the prison, John meets
Mortaar, an ex Brutos commander and Bitsmo the Hacker, two evil but funny guys. With their help,
John escapes and accidentally succeeds to tighten the loosened screw in Z’ark’s motherboard. This
screw was the source of his madness. Now somewhat lucid, Z’ark releases the prisoners, and
promises to return them all to their native planets. However, it appears that while Z ’ark was
roaming around in his madness, an alien race called the Brutos had conquered almost the entire
galaxy. Furthermore, Z’ark is surrounded by the Brutos space fleet and has to go in “invisible
mode” in order to escape.

However, Mortaar and Bits have plans on their own. They have heard of the R.A.D. (Reality
Altering Device) constructed by Z’ark. It’s the most powerful weapon in the galaxy and they want to
have it and rule the universe. They manage to temporarily hack the control room, granting the
Brutos access to Z’ark. The Brutos imprison every living soul on the ship. Unbeknownst to John,
Z’ark implants the RAD chip in Vardar’s head, concealing it from the bad guys. From now on,
anything that John says becomes reality. Being a somewhat cynical and pessimistic person, John’s
words and wishes will cause a lot of mischief until the end of the film.

The adventure develops at light speed. John and all the others are sent to forced work in the
mines of planet Solomon. There John becomes attracted to Lili, a female warrior he met on Z ’ark’s
spaceship. Together they escape the mines and arrive on Lili’s native planet that is actually a
gigantic living creature, some sort of a space whale. During their adventure, John and Lili fall in love
and they marry in her village, with the blessing of Lili’s father, the silly shaman of the tribe. The
marriage is slightly disturbed by a distress signal from Z’ark, and John and Lili leave immediately to
help their friend.

After a couple of failed attempts to leave the planet, John wishes they could just get to Z ’ark
easily. And that’s exactly what happens – the space whale brings them right next to the surrounded
spaceship. A battle rages between the Brutos and the Quasars. Lili dies protecting John, who
becomes mad with grief and makes everyone disappear, unknowingly using the power granted by
the R.A.D. Only John and Z’ark remain on the spaceship. Z’ark tells John about the R.A.D. chip in his
head. Understanding that everything that happened is his own fault, John wishes time to go back to
the moment before Lili dies. John stops the war and wishes everybody to be happy and friendly. The
film ends with a universal party where everyone dances and sings, celebrating the intergalactic
peace amongst all sentient races. Finally, he wishes for the RAD to disappear, as it’s far too powerful
for anyone to have.

John Vardar vs. the Galaxy is a Christmas space-opera comedy for the whole family.