Ife PsychologIA, 27 (1), 2019, 1-8

Copyright (c) 2019 © Ife Centre for Psychological Studies/Services, Nigeria ISSN: 1117-1421

PERCEPTION OF COMPANIONS HIP IN RELATION TO MARITAL

SATISFACTION: A STUDY OF MARRIED MEN AND WOMEN

Ariyo A.M. (PhD) & Mgbeokwii G.N.

Department of Home Science and Management,
College of Food Science and Human Ecology,
Federal University of Agriculture,
Abeokuta, Ogun State.
Email: motunrayoariyo@yahoo.com

Abstract
The study assessed perception of companionship in relation to marital satisfaction by
married men and women. The study utilised a stratified random sampling technique.
Two research questions were generated for this study and a sample of 240 married men
and women in Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State were selected. Results
indicated that 95.9% agreed that couples who are each other’s best friend are always
happy with their marriage, 95% agreed that companionship plays a vital role in marital
satisfaction. Also, 91.3% submitted that they no longer tell their spouse how much they
love him/her and reassure their commitment to the relationship as they used to during
courtship and 89.6% submitted that they no longer talk freely about things of common
interest to their relationship as they used to during courtship. It was therefore
recommended that couples should not just be aware of the importance of
companionship but exhibit it in their marriages.
Keywords: Companionship, marriage, intimacy, marital satisfaction, courtship,
relationship,

Introduction
The single greatest attraction in marriage is the continuous and intimate companionship
with a loved one (Nijole, 2002). Intimacy in marriage means the deepest levels of
communication, relating and sharing is only possible when a husband and wife are
completely open to each other. When each trust and is trusted, both are able to express
their thoughts and feelings without reservation (Benjamin, 1999). Companionship
implies a certain quality of relationship binding partners together. Sharing experiences
with a mate is complemented in the companionship role with caring, a sense of
attachment, trust, confidence and commitment to the other person (Williams, 1982).
The greater the gap between two people in terms of attitudes, values, habits,
recreational activities and temperaments, the greater is the likelihood that they will find
themselves incompatible and unable to form workable relationship (Nijole, 2002).

A successful relationship is built on each being willing to take full responsibility for
what is created and do not blame the other. Each encourages the growth and free
unfoldment of themselves and the other. Each is willing to nurture the true needs of
oneself and the other (Ferlic, 2009). A husband and wife ought to be each other’s best
friend. When marriage is the most treasured friendship, the companionship is a work of

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Ariyo A.M. & Mgbeokwii G.N.: Perception of companionship in relation to marital satisfaction..

joy. Over time, married couples cultivate shared and individual interests, personal and
together space (Benjamin 1999). In a relationship, though companionship would seem
to be the basis for two people wanting to remain together, yet many are torn between
the importance of companionship versus romantic or passionate love. Companionship is
by far the more important. Passion is fleeting, or can take place without the aid of a
single emotion other than a desire for each other. It might last a night or continue for
months, but the only time attention is paid in any great effort is while the passion is
taking place. By contrast, people who offer companionship put into the relationship
their effort, concern and time. It goes deep between the two, lasting beyond hardship or
cooled passion or the ordinariness of life. Companionship and passion have been
written about throughout the ages. Passion ig nites and is volatile verses the lasting
stability of a time companion. Most cultures see them both as important but play
different roles at different points in a life time.

Romantic love is more selfish in its time with a partner, and always demands that
partner, while companionship means making the most of the time two people have, for
not just being together, but togetherness. It is the moment that two peo ple occupy
particular slices of time and those times are fulfilling, enjoyable and often, do not
involve sex. Companionship is not all consuming as the passionate or sexual
relationship. It allows that two people are individuals, have other interests outside of
themselves, and are in no way bound by or to the thoughts and beliefs of the other. It
encourages individuality and freedom of choice: more of an equality issue out of
mutual agreement and respect. Though as time changes, and people, with their passion
and, or sexual desires fading somewhat, it is good to know that good companionship, as
it has done throughout the relationship, will be what remains true for the rest of the
partnership. All relationship need a feeling of “right” and constant companions hip is
what ensures the success of the relationship.

Companionship is living life together, working together toward common goals,

experiencing together common interest, sharing the joys of victory, sharing the grief of
failures, etc. Companionship is not just sharing the same dinner table, watching TV
together, and sleeping in the same bed, companionship infers a relationship where
thoughts and actions are exchanged, challenged and behaviour is affected.

Factors that reduce marital satisfaction

Some of the factors that lead to reduced marital satisfaction include poor
communication behaviour between spouses (Rehman and Hottzworth -Munroe, 2007),
lack of sacrifice in the relationship (Stanley, Whitton, Sadberry, Clemets and Markman,
2006), lack of emotional support in the relationship (Crammer, 2006), lack of
forgiveness (McNulty, 2008) and marital infidelity (Whisman, Dixon and Johnson,
1997). Companionship which happens to be one major importance of marriage is often
times not paid attention to like sex, finance, personality etc. which may be a huge
determinant of marital dissatisfaction as a marriage may be in crisis if one or more of

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the four purposes of marriage namely childbearing, sexual satisfaction, companionship

and economic satisfaction are not satisfactorily achieved (Tikumah, 2009)
Hence, this paper seeks to find answers to the following questions;
1. What is the perception of companionship and its effects on marital satisfaction
by married men and women?
2. Do couples retain the companionship experienced during courtship in
marriage?

Methodol ogy
Population and sampling procedure
Stratified random sampling technique was used in the selection of respondents in
Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State, where three (3) out of five (5) Local
Council Development Areas in Alimosho LGA namely; Ayobo -Ipaja Local Council
Development Area, Egbe-Idimu Local Council Development Area and Igando -Ikotun
Local Council Development Area where Two hundred and Forty (240) married men
and women were used for this study. The target population were all married men and
women in Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State.

Instrumentation
The research instrument was designed by the researcher. The questionnaire addressed
the following; socio-demographic characteristics of the respondents, perception of
companionship and its effects on marital satisfaction by married men and women,
companionship during courtship and its existence in marriage.

Validation of instrument
A pilot study was carried out to validate the instrument. The instrument was
administered to 30 married men and women in Abeokuta, Ogun State.
The psychometric properties of the instrument used revealed the following:
Perception of companionship and its effect on marital satisfaction: alpha = .7900
Companionship during courtship and its existence in marriage: alpha = .7543

Data Analysis
Primary data were analysed using descriptive statistics such as frequency counts, mean
and percentages.

Result
Presentation of result
Socio-demographic Characteristics: Table 1 shows the socio-demographic
characteristic of the respondents which indicates that 50.8% were female, 49.2% were
between the ages of 30 – 40 years of age, 80% of the respondents were Christians.
Furthermore the table went on to reveal that 28.3% were OND holders, 40.4% were
civil servants, 29.2% of the respondent’s marriage had lasted between 6 – 10 years and
31.7% had more than three children.

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 Ariyo A.M. & Mgbeokwii G.N.: Perception of companionship in relation to marital satisfaction..

Table 1: Socio-demographic Characteristics of the Respondents

s/n S ocio-demographic Characteristics Frequency Percentage (%)
1 Gender
M ale 118 49.2
Female 122 50.8
2 Age
20 – 29 years 29 12.1
30 – 40 years 118 49.2
40 – 49 years 64 26.7
50 – 59 years 22 9.2
60 years and above 7 2.9
3 Religion
Christianity 192 80.0
Islam 48 20.0
4 Ethnicity
Yoruba 87 36.3
Hausa 4 1.7
Igbo 120 50.0
Others 29 12.1
5 Educational status
Primary Education 6 2.5
Secondary education 20 8.3
OND 68 28.3
HND 35 14.6
NCE 30 12.5
B.Sc 23 9.6
Others 58 24.2
6 Occupation
Farming 6 2.5
Trading 43 17.9
Civil Servant 97 40.4
Self employed 84 35.0
Others 10 4.2
7 Length of Marriage
1 – 5 years 75 31.3
6 – 10 years 70 29.2
11 – 15 years 47 19.6
16 - 20 years 24 10.0
21 years and above 24 10.0
8 Number of Children
One 44 18.3
Two 53 22.1
Three 67 27.9
M ore than three 76 31.7

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Research Question One: Perception of companionship and its effect on marital

satisfaction. Table 2 shows that 95.9% of the respondents agreed that couples who are
each other’s best friend are always happy with their marriage, 94.2% agreed that
Couples who do things together will be satisfied with their marriage. Also, 4.6% of the
respondents disagreed that when couples know how to communicate their strength and
weakness effectively and with love, both will enjoy marital satisfaction and 95.0%
agreed that Companionship or intimacy plays a vital role in marital satisfaction.

Table 2: Perception of companionship and its effects on marital satisfaction by

married men and women
S/N ITEM S D SD A SA M ean Std.
Dev
1 Couples who are each 9 1 51 179 3.67 0.68
other best friends are (3.8%) (0.4%) (21.3%) (74.6%)
always happy with their
marriage
2 Couples who do things 9 5 72 154 3.55 0.72
together will be satisfied (3.8%) (2.1%) (30.0%) (64.2%)
with their marriage
3 When couples know how 6 5 61 168 3.63 0.65
to communicate their (2.5%) (2.1%) (25.4%) (70.0%)
strength and weakness
effectively and with love,
both will enjoy marital
satisfaction.
4 Companionship or 8 4 77 151 3.55 0.70
intimacy plays a vital role (3.3%) (1.7%) (32.1%) (62.9)
in marital satisfaction

Research Question Two: Companionship during courtship and its existence in

marriage. Table 3 shows that 91.3% of the respondents submitted that they don’t tell
their spouse how much they love him/her and reassure their commitment to the
relationship as they used to during courtship, 85.8% of the respondents answered No to
the question that are you and your spouse still concerned about how you both look,
while 14.2% of the respondents submitted that they and their spouse are still as intimate
in their relationship as they were during courtship while 89.6% confirmed that they and
their spouse do not freely talk about things of common interest to their relationship as
they used to during courtship. However, 49.2% of the respondents submitted that honey
moon is an everyday exercise for them and their spouses.

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 Ariyo A.M. & Mgbeokwii G.N.: Perception of companionship in relation to marital satisfaction..

Table 3: Compani onshi p during courtship and its existence in marriage

S/N ITEM S YES NO
1 Do you still tell your spouse how much you love 21 219
him/her, and reassure your commitment to the (8.8%) (91.3%)
relationship as you used to do during courtship?
2 Are you and your spouse still concerned about 34 206
how you both look? (14.2%) (85.8%)
3 Are you and your spouse still as intimate in your 34 206
relationship as you were during courtship? (14.2%) (85.8%)
4 Do you and your spouse freely talk about things 25 215
of common interest to your relationship as you (10.4%) (89.6%)
used to during courtship?
5 Is Honey moon an every day exercise for you and 118 122
your spouse? (49.2%) (50.8%)

Discussion
Research Question One
Married men and women are conversant with the importance of companionship in
relation to marital stability as they support that couples who are each other’s best
friends, do things together, communicate strength and weakness effectively with love
are always satisfied with their marriages, hence, agreeing that companionship plays a
vital role in marital satisfaction which is in line with the findings of Aron, Norman,
Aron, McKenna and Heyman (2000) who opined that participation in novel and
exciting activities together can cause couples to feel greater satisfaction in their
relationships which suggests that trying new, jointly chosen recreational activities
together can help sustain and increase romance in marriage. In addition, in a study by
Kandice (2008) some of the participants described companionship as taking on the form
of partnership and that as companions they would become a team as husband and wife
and work together as a married couple and also described the importance of having
someone always there to experience and share life with them once married and a
provision of constant someone in their lives, someone who would support them and
care for them and who would always be there for them when they needed to talk or
confide in someone.

Research Question Two

Regardless of the fact that married men and women in this study are very much aware
of the importance of companionship and its effect on marital sta bility, men and women
are probably not practising it as the companionship in courtship is not carried on in
marriage, this is probably so as greater responsibilities are waiting to be handled,
children are welcomed, each stages of marriage has their challenges and when people
are married, they usually feel that they have reached the height but do not make effort
at maintaining it which is in line with an article by (Daniels, 2016) who quoted Dr.
Wendy Walsh that sometimes marriages fall into an autopilot pattern, partners no
longer court each other or exchange the care that they did in the early days and they
become more concerned with selfish interest. Although quite a number of married men

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and women in this study submitted that honeymoon for them and their spouses is an
everyday exercise even though they lacked companionship in the marriage. One can
safely submit that sex is mistaken for companionship by this men and women as
companionship and sex play different roles in marital satisfaction which still leaves the
companionship gap wide open in a marriage. All of the needs of marriage must be met
not leaving out any according to Ofoegbu as cited by Okorodudu (2010) noted that
marriages are contracted to provide basis for love and companionship, bearing of
children and fulfilment of couples expectation.

Conclusion and Recommendati on

This study was carried out to assess the perception of companionship in relation to
marital satisfaction by married men and women. Findings indicated that married men
and women are very much aware of the importance of companionship on marital
satisfaction, Surprisingly, Regardless of their knowledge on companionship and its
importance; most of the men and women did not make companionship an ingredient in
their marriage life. It was therefore recommended that couples should spend time,
participate in recreational activities with their partners as this would help in enhancing
their relationship, Counsellors and religious institutions should enlighten intending
couples and the married people that the companionship in dating and courtship can be
taken on into marriage regardless of the many responsibilities and challenges that
comes with marriage, companionship is one major attribute that keeps marriage going.

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