Rules for Retrogrades

Rule #1: Always be on offense.

Rule #2: Conservatism is inherently Christian; intellectual conservatism is
inherently Roman Catholic.
Rule #3: No truth is “off-limits”; we must never be ashamed to be candid.
Rule #4: Egalitarianism is evil: the retrograde must loudly announce that
Christian teaching and nature are generally anti-egalitarian.
Rule #5: Risus bellum est: laughter is war.
Rule #6: Never compromise with radicals on their initiatives.
Rule #7: Never let radical mischief go unpunished. (Make a stink about
everything.)

Rule #8: It is a damnable lie that humility disallows Christians from standing
up (for what they believe) in the cultural and political forum!
Rule #9: Control of language is control of thought; don’t let radicals control
the language.
Rule #10: Radicals, who manipulate language, must be beaten at their own
game, and then in many other venues as well (decisively, definitively, and
mercilessly.)
Rule #11: Never trust a man who is unwilling to have enemies.
Rule #12: Radicals form coalitions but retrogrades form fellowships.
Rule #13: There are four classes of ideologue, but only the first two constitute
terminal worldviews. The retrograde must know them and be able to spot
them in real time.
Rule #14: Any militant mod of this season will become an open radical in the
next.
Rule #15: There is no room for optimists in the retrograde camp.
Rule #16: Never utter, think, or imply that the retrograde merely upholds the
status quo.
Rule #17: Never, ever “frag” a fellow retrograde.
Rule #18: Circle the wagons around fellow retrogrades; come readily to their
defense when they’re in trouble.
Rule #19: The retrograde must loudly mock the general idiocy of the moral
reasoning of the 1960s (especially “Boomer-isms” involving sexuality,
courtship, and family planning.)
Rule #20: All retrograde youth (opting against the religious life) must be raised
so as to be disposed to marry as young as possible and to procreate
abundantly.
Rule #21: All this Boomer-ist moral abandonment by our cultural elders has
produced the “Miyagi Complex,” which must be negated: Western civilization
struggles to fathom a single sagacious denizen of our own Western, Christian
culture fit to give sound moral or spiritual advice.
Rule #22: Do not ingest the poison pill of conventional wisdom.
Rule # 23: The memory of the Western public is exceedingly short,
pathetically undisciplined, and never to be feared.
Rule #24: When a rival or overlord like Alexander the Great comes to visit
you, offering gifts, be the philosopher Diogenes the Cynic! Tell the radical
mob or despot that you want nothing from them except that they “stand out of
your light.”
Rule #25: The root of cultural decay is feminism: end feminism to end
radicalism.
Rule #26: The retrograde must use Saul Alinsky’s shrewdest, trickiest rules for
radicals against the radicals themselves.
Rule #27: When it comes to the justification of our retrograde principles
(especially public expressions thereof) let rules be rules and exceptions be
exceptions.
Rule #28: For radicals, the “issue” is never the real issue.
Rule #29: Never let your judgment be rushed or altered because of an alleged
“emergency”; all serious policy initiatives deserve thorough vetting.
Rule #30: The retrograde must be tough-fibered but chaste! Accordingly, his
watchword should be “coarse but never crass.” As will be understood below,
he must have “thick skin and a weak stomach.”
Rule #31: Don’t allow radicals to personalize the general.
Rule #32: The monolithic, private right-wing “boycott” of leftist companies is
a sham; gutsier approaches to commercial confrontation are superior.
Rule #33: Stop heralding unwelcome news of progressive victories by
wishfully proclaiming (channeling Japan’s Admiral Yamamoto circa Pearl
Harbor Day) that radicals have “awakened a sleeping giant.”
Rule #34: Never deny being a retrograde: looking feckless, you’ll be called
one anyway.

Rule #35: Retrogrades will never be able to profitably wield divisive group
politics.
Rule #36: Young retrogrades should be neither sheep nor wolves, but
sheepdogs.
Rule #37: You don’t need to be a member of a certain class of people to
address an issue related to or stemming from said class of people.
Rule #38: Under no circumstances let radicals control the rules of the game.
Rule #39: The retrograde rejects any and all racist, statist, anti-Christian, anti-
Semitic perversions of conservatism associated with the “alt-right.” Alt-right is
non-right: it is false conservatism (ideological refuse to be identified, decried,
and jettisoned).
Rule #40: Victory loves preparation.