Bench Seat Monologue

From Autobahn By Neil LaBute

Girl: I even got dumped here once, so… Yep. Like, ‘bout two years
ago. No big thing. I mean, it was at the time, it was plenty big then, but
you know, you get past it. Right? I did. I mean, went a little nuts there for
a while, freaked out or whatnot, but it passed. I’m fine now.
He was a college guy, too. Yep. In a two-year graduate thing like
yours and… Forget it. How boring! Sorry.
It was just that he… you know, we were together for the whole
time, inseparable, really… and then come May of his second year, like,
maybe a week before finals… we’re up here and he’s pulling the whole
“different people” speech out of his ass like it was Scripture or
something, like no one had ever used it or heard it before, and I should
understand and let him go off to do his poly sci thing as if we’d never
spent two minutes together. (Beat)
He brought me up here for a picnic and then laid that one on me
over some cherry cheesecake. I don’t even like Sara Lee, so fuck that, I
walked home. Walked my ass all the way back to my parents’ home,
which is a good four miles from here, as you know.
But, hey, that was my last trip up here, so maybe that’s why I’m
just a teeny bit cautious…