Truth and Spirit Ministries

Break Free From Spiritual Abuse Part IV

By Denise Bostic

I’ve often heard it said that it’s not the truth we know that’s hurting us; it’s the truth that
we don’t know. (Hosea 4:6) We can suffer unnecessary pain and hurt because of lack of
knowledge. Believers that are suffering spiritual abuse often find it difficult to break free
because they lack the knowledge of what the Lord has actually obtained for them through
the Cross. The good news though is that we can always grow in his grace and
knowledge. (II Peter 3:18) The knowledge that we receive from God has the power to
deliver us from all bondages and abuses, heal us of all pain of the soul and set us free to
follow the Lord wherever he leads. This in turn will help us to move on to being able to
live up to our God-given potential.

Lack of knowledge is not the only thing that prevents believers from making the break
from spiritual abuse. Sometimes those that suffer spiritual abuse have difficulty breaking
free because they have been fed lies from the religious crowd; lies that they have come
to believe. (Read II Corinthians 11:1-21) What lies am I referring to? Namely lies such as:

Never question Church leadership

Obey your Church leaders no matter what they say or do
You must never leave your local Church (or where God “planted” you)
If you leave this Church you will be cursed or (or worse yet lost)

Sadly, these things have been taught by some leadership in order to wield control and
power over the members of the Church. Often, this type of leadership lord their position
over the congregation and tell them that they are accountable to no one but God. All of
this however sets believers up for potential spiritual abuse. The real deception is that
they teach these things as if they have come from God himself, but did they? When we
test these teachings listed above according to the Gospel of Christ however, we will find
that none of them hold water and are not consistent with the life of freedom that the Lord
has called us to.

According to the truth of what Jesus has given us through the Gospel, God is love. He
does not wound or harm our souls in order to teach us something or refine us spiritually.
Instead we learn that God is good and everything that he does, he does for our good. He
may chastise us but even that is for a divine purpose. Unlike fallible man, our perfect
heavenly Father will never abuse us or lie to us. (Hebrews 12:5-11, Hebrews 6:18) Some
that have suffered the pain of spiritual abuse may become disappointed with God or even
angry with him not realizing that it was not the Almighty that inflicted this pain and
suffering upon them but men.
Church leaders and believers that walk after the flesh and not the Spirit are not reflecting
God’s true character and nature. Jesus said, “The flesh profits nothing but the Spirit
gives life”. (John 6:63) Not only will the sinful flesh not be of any profit or benefit
spiritually, it can also do harm to others. Sin always hurts others albeit in varying degrees.
Only those that minister by the Spirit will impart the good things that God desires us to have
and that which will be truly beneficial to our spiritual lives. Those that minister to others
should always hold themselves accountable to the Body of Christ and their peers in
ministry as well as God himself. Those that do not give an account in this life will surely
give an account to the Lord Jesus Christ in the next. (Matthew 7:21-23, II Corinthians 5:10,
James 3:1)

The Lord is the Chief Shepherd of his sheep. Church leaders are under shepherds. All
ministers need to be held accountable to the Lord and his people. (I Peter 5:1-4) Ministers
should not interfere with what sheepfold the Lord decides to place his sheep. If he decides
to move one of them to another sheepfold, they should not usurp his authority and wisdom
to do so. Should a believer leave and go elsewhere and if they have made a mistake by
doing so, the Lord will gently lead them back where they belong. If they are indeed to go to
another sheepfold for his divine purposes, his will should not be interfered with. They are
merely hearing the Shepherds voice and following. If they would happen to be straying
away, the Lord will surely go after them. Either way, the Lord will never leave them or
forsake them. (John 10:1-16, Hebrews 13:5)

The Truth Will Set You Free

Truth from God is a powerful liberating force. Jesus said, “The truth will set you free”.
(John 8:32 NIV) The truth gives us the knowledge from God that we need to be free and is
the antidote for the poisonous lies that have been fed to us. It’s not enough just to know it
however; we must also apply his word to our lives by putting it in action. This takes courage
though when we are in an environment where spiritual abuse is taking place. It’s not easy
to take a stand for the truth. It’s not easy to have to confront those that have been spiritually
abusing us. Sometimes it can be painful to break free. The good news in all of this though
is that God will give us everything that we need to break free, including the boldness of the
Holy Spirit to do so.

Truth comes from God. The Father is truth, Jesus is truth and the Holy Spirit is truth. God
only speaks truth, in fact, it’s impossible for him to lie. (John 1:14, 14:6, 15, Hebrews 6:18)
If we seek the truth of any matter or situation that we might find ourselves in, we can look to
God for truth. He releases his truth to us through his written word and by his Spirit. God
teaches us personally as well as through others so that we will not be led astray by false
teaching. (I Corinthians 2:9-13, I John 2:26-27) He will use both the written word and the
spoken word to give us the wisdom, guidance and direction that we need. God not only
speaks to us through his written word, he also speaks to us inwardly by the Holy Spirit. The
Holy Spirit will remind us of what Jesus has said and impart the understanding or direction
that God wants to give us. (John chapters 14 and 16) This is very important when it comes
to breaking free from a spiritually abusive situation as we will learn later.

God expects us to obey him rather than men. (Acts 5:29) Of course, I am not advocating
that we do not need to submit to spiritual leaders that are following Christ. Paul gave wise
advice to the saints of God, he told them, “Follow my example, as I follow the example
of Christ.” (I Corinthians 11:1) What I am speaking of here are those leaders that are not
following the example of Christ. I’m talking about those that expect you to submit to
something you know is clearly not the will of God as given in his Word. I’m talking about
those things that would bring you into bondage and restrict your freedoms and freewill in
Christ. (Galatians 5:1, II Corinthians 11:19-20) Should we find that someone is teaching us
to believe or practice something that are not in line with the Gospel, we should not receive
it or obey them lest we should be led astray with them. (Galatians 2:11-16) We should not
allow anyone to keep us from obeying the truth of the gospel.

The Galatians allowed it though. When Paul found out that they had received a different
gospel from the legalists, he asked them this:
7
You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the
truth? (Galatians 5:7 NIV)

No matter what someone else is teaching within the Church, if it does not line up with the
Gospel, it will prevent believers from obeying real truth. Today when ministers try to bring
us back under the yoke of the law or other religious rules and regulations, we should not
allow others to keep us from obeying the truth. Our allegiance must be to God and the truth
of the Gospel first and foremost. To submit to something or someone apart from Christ and
the truth of God will bring us into spiritual bondage and give others the opportunity to abuse
us through a man-made system or be led astray by the doctrines of devils. (Matthew 23,
Galatians 5:1, I Timothy 4:1-2)

Legalism is a heavier form of spiritual abuse because it brings believers into religious
bondage or slavery. (Galatians 5:1) When believers fail to keep these rules and regulations
of the law, they feel guilty and condemned; all they ever see is their spiritual failure. To live
under this unbearable yoke is painful indeed. To falsely believe that one is not pleasing to
God places deep wounds upon the soul that requires a longer healing process. Since
legalism misrepresents the true character and nature of God to others, those under its
heavy yoke will have a distorted view of him and their personal relationships are deeply
affected by this. Legalism is an enemy of the Cross and prevents people from seeing the
truth of the Gospel of Christ. (Philippians 3:2, 18)

When we come to understand the real message of the Gospel of Christ, it will help us to
break free from spiritual abuse and set us free to follow Christ and his Spirit. We will learn
to receive God’s grace and begin learning to apply it to all areas of our lives. We will no
longer try to justify ourselves before God through our own works but understand that we
can only be justified by faith in Christ and his perfect work. We will no longer feel that we
fall short of his righteousness but walk in the righteousness of Christ. We will understand
that we are to follow leadership only as they follow Christ. We will no longer allow others to
cut in on us and keep us from obeying the truth of the Gospel. We will obey God rather
than men.
Put Faith in Christ and Not in Men

The center of our faith must be in Christ and not in men. Unfortunately there are some
Churches where the people are taught to look more to the Pastor or may be some other
leader i.e., bishop, apostle… you get the idea… rather than Christ. Such situations can be
a breeding ground for spiritual abuse to sprout and grow. Beware of those that place more
emphasis on their person and leadership rather than on the person of Christ and his Spirit.
The Church should be Christ-centered instead of leaders centered. New Covenant
ministers have been given oversight of the flock as under shepherds of Christ. They must
not be greedy for money or desire to have the preeminence in the Church. The place of
preeminence should only be given to God. (I Peter 5:1-3, III John 9) They are not to lord
their position over the brethren but to humbly teach them and set a godly example for the
saints to follow.

Many a Church has folded up because the congregation was taught to look the leadership
and have unquestioned obedience to doctrines whether they were scriptural or not. When
we understand what true, godly leadership consists of however, we can know when to
follow a leader (or leaders) and when to break free from their leadership. Christ led
leadership will have the best interests of the saints at heart and will teach believers to place
their faith in Christ first and foremost and not their leadership. A healthy Church, both
leaders and congregation combined, will look to Christ as their spiritual head and not a
man. (Colossians 1:18)

Godly leadership will also have humility, accountability and walk in the fruit of the Spirit.
They will admit when they are wrong and ask for forgiveness when they have sinned
against others. Please note in all of this that nowhere have I said “they must be perfect”. No
one is perfect. Believers however need to be able to recognize that there is a vast
difference between healthy Church leadership and spiritually abusive leadership. One will
build up the faith of believers and the other one will tear the faith of believers down.

The apostle Paul taught the Church that leadership is given to the body of Christ for the
purpose of building up the body, not for tearing it down. (II Corinthians 10:8, 13:10)
He also taught a very important truth that some believers may not yet know. Did you know
that no minister has dominion over your faith? No one is lord over that but the Lord. The
role of those that have oversight of the flock is to be a helper of your faith. (II Corinthians
1:23-24) This then is the right and balanced view that we should have of Church
leadership. They have been anointed of God to preach, teach and prophesy the word of
God and are to give believers the full counsel of God. The ministry gifts have been given to
the Church to help equip the saints for works of service, grow in spiritual maturity and
prepare them for the coming of the Lord. All of this helps to build up the body of Christ in
the faith. (Acts 20:27, Ephesians 4:11-16)

Should you find that you are personally in a Church where your faith is being torn down
consistently and it is harming your overall spiritual health, you may want to address this
situation with your Pastor and other leaders. If they choose to ignore you or out and out
reject your concerns, you may find that you must break free from that toxic environment by
leaving and finding another Church. This happened to me and I did just that.
Sometimes when you first begin attending a Church everything seems great but then after
you are there for a while, you begin to notice a few things that you find disturbing. This is
what I found when my family and I began attending one particular Church many years ago.
At first we were well received and embraced. However as time went on we heard things
from the pulpit that were condemning. At times we were taught doctrine that was not
consistent with the truth of the Gospel or who we are in Christ. As time went on, much
control from the leadership began to surface. In the beginning Christian service was being
encouraged among the new comers, but as time went on, it was being discouraged.

After being there for several months, I began to get very discouraged. My faith wasn’t
growing, in fact it had digressed. Before I began attending that Church, I had faith for
miracles and God performed them. After being there for a while however, I felt as though I
couldn’t believe for much of anything. I had come to realize that my faith was being torn
down. One day while sitting in a service, I heard more condemnation coming from the
pulpit but I also heard the Holy Spirit say on the inside of me, “You are the righteousness of
Christ, you are redeemed with the blood of the Lamb, you are a child of God, you are now
under no more condemnation…This played like a record over and over in my spirit. That
day was my last day at the Church. When I walked out of that Church, I never went back.

Immediately afterward I went to prayer and asked God what should I do and where should
I go? (By the way, the Church that we had just left rejected our suggestion that the saints
be equipped to go out and evangelize, pray for the sick and cast out devils, the very same
thing that Jesus equipped his very own disciples to do.) What was God’s answer to me? “If
they won’t receive it (speaking of the Church), I will send you to people who will (speaking
of the lost and believers who had dropped out of the traditional Church).” He sent me out
with some other believers to evangelize in the highways and hedges or as I like to call it
here in West Virginia, the “hills and the hollers”. What were the results? The Lord saved,
healed, delivered and blessed people everywhere we went. Some had notable miracles.
There were other believers that were encouraged by all of this and began to serve the Lord
in their own communities. Praise the Lord. All glory and honor goes to him and him alone!

We must always put our faith in Christ and not in men. He alone is the author and finisher
of our salvation. He alone is the rock upon which we should build our house.

You are a Royal Priesthood

This story leads me to my next point. Do you know that you are a priest in the household of
God? Unfortunately, the leadership of the Church mentioned above did not possess this
truth. Instead of training and releasing believers to do works of service for the Lord and
releasing them, they actually stifled their God-given gifts from operating by quenching the
Spirit. (I Thessalonians 5:19) God taught me many valuable truths while I was attending
that Church but one of the main things that I learned about is the priesthood of all believers,
of which you and I are a part of. God has called all believers to serve him in some capacity.
This is why the ministries of the apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor and teacher have been
given the commission by the Lord to train or equip the saints for works of service.
It’s a pity that this Church rejected the truth of the equipping of the saints because it was
surely the will of the Lord for them to do so. In fact, this is precisely how the Lord causes
the Church to grow in numbers and in spiritual maturity. (Ephesians 4:11-13) When you
understand that God has ordained you as a priest to serve him, it gives you a divine
purpose in life. It’s good to attend a Church where they understand this and encourage you
to use the gifts that God has given you and help build you up instead of tearing you down. I
would encourage all believers reading this to look for and attend such a Church or ministry
meetings where this is taught and practiced. We must not allow anyone to strip us of our
royal priesthood.

This happened within the Church in the middle ages and was one of the great truths
restored to the Church by the Lord through Martin Luther during the Great Reformation. We
must not let this valuable truth be buried in the modern day Church but keep it alive and
well by serving God whenever and wherever we can, even if we do not have the approval
of our present leadership. We must obey God rather than men. We can’t allow others to rob
us of our freedom to serve God. Leaders that do this are stifling the faith and spiritual
growth of the saints and in effect causing the Church to be weak and ineffective. But when
leaders obey the will of the Lord, this empowers the Church to serve God as a holy nation,
a nation that aids the cause of Christ and his Kingdom powerfully and effectively and brings
glory and honor to God in the earth at the same time.

Don’t Put Up With Spiritual Abuse

Paul wrote something very interesting in his second letter to the Corinthians. In chapter
eleven we find him chastising these saints- but for their own good. He rebukes them for
receiving false ministries that were actually leading them astray from Christ. He is
astonished that they have not only received another gospel but also a different spirit other
than the Spirit of Christ. To add further to their shame, they actually put up with it. (II
Corinthians 11:1-4) Not only did they put up with false teaching, they also were also putting
up with those that spiritually abused them. This is made evident through Paul’s words to
them.
19
You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! 20 In fact, you even put up with
anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or puts on airs
or slaps you in the face. (II Corinthians 11:19-20)

Here, Paul was not only teaching the Corinthians of the first century not to put up with
spiritual abuse, he is also teaching the entire Church of the New Testament throughout the
age of grace not to tolerate or put up with spiritual abuse either. By whose authority did
Paul speak? He spoke by on the authority of Christ.

When reading II Corinthians chapter eleven, it is obvious that the Lord does not want his
bride to suffer the trauma of spiritual abuse from others. Paul wanted to keep the pureness
of the bride intact for the Lord. False teaching and spiritual abuse spoil the bride with spots
and stains that the Lord must remove. This all teaches us that the Lord himself does not
want us to sit under and endure such abuse. Knowing this teaches us that we should not
put up with it either and that we do have the Lord’s divine permission to break free from it.
He loves his bride and wants her to be healthy, happy and whole in every way.
Break Free From Spiritual Abuse

All of these abuses that I have been addressing in this teaching can cause wounds to the
soul in varying layers. Victims of spiritual abuse suffer the pain of grief, sorrow, guilt,
rejection, betrayal, anger and even shame. Those that have been intimidated, manipulated
and exploited walk away feeling disappointment, disillusioned and cheated. Experiences
such as these are especially hard on the babes in Christ because they have not yet been
rooted and grounded in the faith and often do not handle these situations properly. (The
Lord never holds this against us though; he is more interested in our being healed and
moving on to maturity.) To the extreme, some have even turned from Christ and went back
into the world. These are tragedies that could’ve been avoided however and can be
avoided in the future if we as God’s people receive his truth, healing, restoration and
reconciliation.

I have heard the personal stories and also read the accounts of many believers that have
been wounded deeply by both leaders and believers within the Church. Many have broken
free by God’s love, power and grace. Some have given testimonies of how God set them
free, healed and restored them. Sadly though many are still bound and are walking around
wounded. They now have a difficult time trusting. Some choose not to go to Church out of
fear of being harmed again. If this is true in your life at the moment, do not despair. There is
always hope through the Lord Jesus Christ. He loves you and wants you to be healed,
happy and made whole in every way because you are part of his precious bride.

Although the Lord has already paid the price on the Cross for our salvation, healing,
deliverance and freedom nearly 2,000 years ago, it is actually the Holy Spirit that helps
make his finished work become a living reality in our lives. God gave him to us as a gift for
this very purpose. The Holy Spirit has a New Testament ministry to all believers. He
imparts to us what the Lord has done for us through the atonement progressively
throughout our Christian life. This is why we are admonished to grow in grace and
knowledge. We do not receive all of these things at one time but God specifically imparts to
us what he wants us to have and as we need it.

Jesus is not only your Shepherd but you Deliverer, Healer and Restorer as well. Jesus
said, “The Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known unto you.” (John
16:15) Your divine helper will minister the deliverance, healing and restoration that Christ
has obtained for all believers through the atonement to you when you need it. Hear and
obey him and he will help you to break free from spiritual abuse and lead you into freedom,
healing and restoration and take you on to live the life that God intends for you to have. If
you are in a spiritually abusive situation, seek the Lord for the wisdom of exactly how you
should break free from it and then trust in him to heal you and restore that which has been
stolen from you. Look to him first and foremost and follow him wherever he leads you by his
Spirit so that he can take you on to the destiny that he is carving out for you personally.
This is the way to break free from spiritual abuse.

Only that which is of the Spirit can profit the spirit or soul. (John 6:63) The Lord desires for
his people to be set free in this hour from that which enslaves or harms them. We have his
permission to break free from those situations and people that would harm or wound us
spiritually. He has great and marvelous plans for his people in these last days. In order to
walk in them however, we need to be free from all restraints, healed of our wounds and
intimidated by no one. We must break free from those that do not have the Lord’s or our
own best interests at heart. Breaking free may mean disassociation of fellowship with a
particular Church, person (s) or ministry that holds ungodly control or power over us and in
the process has been spiritually abusing us. The Lord will deliver, but he needs our full
assent and cooperation. We must be willing to take a stand and be willing to obey God
rather than men. We need to trust God with our future and place it completely in his hands.

A Word of Encouragement and Hope for the Hurting

If you are currently suffering the wounds of spiritual abuse, don’t despair and don’t give up
for the Lord has good plans for you. In him you always have hope and a bright future.
(Jeremiah 29:11) Here is a word of encouragement for you, dear child of God.

The great thing about being able to have a personal relationship with God is that he can
free, heal and restore you no matter where you are. If you have been hurt because of
spiritual abuse, know that God loves you and it is his will for you to be made whole and
healthy in every way- spirit, soul and body. If you are currently living in disappointment,
disillusionment, feeling condemned, hurt, betrayed, forgotten, rejected or even angry,
please remember that God has already given you this promise: “Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

The Lord has made provision for your healing on the inside as well as the outside. (Isaiah
53:4) He took the stripes for your healing before he went to the Cross. He suffered rejection
and humiliation for your sake. (Matthew 27:26-31) On the way to Golgotha, he carried your
sorrows and while he hung upon that Cross, he bore all of your griefs. (Isaiah 53:4-5) He
died to set you free from all hurt, pain, oppression and bondage. He did all of this so that
you can live in the joy, peace and freedom of the Holy Spirit. All of this is yours in Christ by
grace, all you must do is reach out and receive it from him. It is his good pleasure to give
you all of the good things of the Kingdom. (Luke 12:32)

Called To Be Free

Paul, the apostle was a great defender of the faith and freedom that believers have been
given in Christ. He courageously took a bold stance with anyone that would try to rob the
saints of their freedoms in Christ and bring them into bondage. (Acts 15:1-2, Galatians 1:6-
10, 2:1-5, 2:11-21, 5:1-14, II Corinthians 11) He never compromised his message though.
He did however, balance out his teaching by letting all believers know to what extent that
their freedom actually goes and does not go. To the Galatians he wrote:
13
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom
to indulge the [sinful] flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the
entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as
yourself.” (Galatians 5:13-14)

Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God, with all your heart, mind
and soul and to love your neighbor as yourself. When we obey God, we are proving our
love to him and when we love others, we are proving our love to them as well. We need to
use our God-given freedom properly. Paul made it clear that believers should not use their
freedom to indulge their sinful flesh and bring destruction to each other but to love one
another. (Galatians 5:15) Yet many in the Church have used grace and spiritual freedoms
as a license to operate in the flesh and in doing so have hurt their brothers and sisters in
Christ. This however, grieves the Holy Spirit. When we truly walk in the love of God, we will
spare them from that hurt and pain.

The Lord did not set us free from the law, sin and death so that we could continue to live
like unregenerate people. He set us free and called us to freedom so that we could go on to
walk in the newness of the Spirit. He has given us the ability to do so by giving us new spirit
called the Holy Spirit and he now imparts his fruit to us. We’ve been given a brand new
nature called the nature of Christ. In fact, he has made us whole new creatures entirely; we
have been born from above. We must stay true to who God called us to be and not allow
anyone take this away from us.

The Lord Jesus Christ came into the world that we might have life and life more abundantly.
Part of that abundant life is living in the liberty of his Spirit and free from the oppression and
abuse of others. God has called us to be victors and not victims. He has broken our bands
asunder through the Cross so that we might live in spiritual freedom. He is coming back for
his bride, and she will be a woman that is not only without spot or wrinkle but a woman that
is courageous and triumphant as well! We have been called to be over comers and we can
overcome all things through the blood of the Lamb. The truth sets us free- free to live
without the chains and pains of spiritual abuse and to live the way that God intends for us
to.