Taylor Holmes

SWRK 454.91

Journal

Journal #14- November 15, 2020

It’s a little weird doing “final reflections” for my practicum experience because I will still

be doing the same work I’ve been doing until our funding expires, haha. Overall, though, I truly

enjoyed completing my practicum at Connection of Cumberland County! I think this is exactly

where I needed to be to develop my skillset as much as I could. I have gotten so much hands-on

experience and support that I truly believe I would not have found anywhere else. Although the

environment has changed due to the change in management, I am still so grateful for this

opportunity. I would definitely pursue a career in social work that focuses on the homeless

population, particularly women and children. This experience has also helped me realize that I

may really want to focus my efforts on macro change like policy and lobbying. It’s always been

something I’m interested in, but as much as I LOVE interacting with people and communities on

the micro and mezzo levels, I feel as though I will always be dissatisfied with the state of the

social services system unless I directly do something that can inflict a grand scale of change.

Journal #13- November 1, 2020

One thing I will personally take from my practicum experience is that I will never be

good at anything if I allow fear to keep me from trying! I have always struggled with failure, but

public failure puts my anxiety through the roof. I hate the thought of anyone being able to

comment on how I do something, or worse, that I’m doing it wrong completely. I guess I’m just

afraid of negative judgment, but for a minute that kept me from making phone calls and

conducting intakes in front of other interns or staff, or from doing stabilization plans since I have
predominately been working COVID cases. However, I recently realized it truly is my fear that

gets the best of me. I’ve started forcing myself to conduct intakes at my desk, and if someone

comments then just take it as constructive criticism and an opportunity for growth. I have been

pleasantly surprised, though, because since starting this practice with myself, more of the interns

come to me with their questions and problems because of my “professionality” and “bubbly

spirit even when being fussed at”.  This all sounds professional, but there are things I have not

done in my personal life out of fear like actively working towards my goal of being a freelance

makeup artist. I was afraid that people won’t like my work, or that they’ll see I’m not the greatest

at blending and then I’ll never build clientele, but something as small as making calls at my desk

as boosted my confidence in myself immensely! Professionally, the thing I will take from this

experience is that it is okay to make mistakes! I obviously have a problem with the façade of

perfection (haha), but when I started, I was absolutely terrified that I would make a mistake, and

no one would trust me with clients again. I have since realized that mistakes, although

embarrassing, are truly pivotal to our growth as humans and social workers. I have found peace

in owning my mistakes when they happen, and then never making the same one again!

Journal #12- October 18, 2020

One thing that interested me in my research was learning that there seems to be a link

between children being in foster care, especially aging out, and learned helplessness. Learned

helplessness is basically when an individual feels as though things in life happen to them and

their actions have little to no effect on the outcome. I thought this was really interesting because

my bias with foster kids, especially older ones, is that more often than not, they are determined to

change their situation. This revelation in my research made me realize that my bias has been a

generalization based upon the individuals I know personally who have been in foster care. This
impacted me because it has rearranged my entire thought process about the foster children who

have tougher life outcomes. There are clients at the agency I work/intern at who were in the

foster care system and are still struggling to find their footing, and while I always understood

that their life’s circumstance definitely had an impact on their current picture, the idea of learned

helplessness makes it all make sense. I can understand how someone who endured traumas like

experiencing/witnessing abuse or neglect, being moved from home to home and basically tossed

into the world could feel like life is going to keep handing them rotten lemons no matter what

they do.

Journal #11- October 8, 2020

Self-care is something that I’ve always struggled with. I’m like the Energizer Bunny

trying to juggle everything I have to do, then I hit a wall and can’t do anything and then beat

myself up for not having the energy to get it done. It’s a vicious cycle but I’m working on it. I

feel like I was doing really good over the summer, but I’ve hit a wall and just find myself

exhausted all the time. I’ve been trying to do better with getting some time to myself, though.

One of my favorite things to do is spend time with friends; no kids, no husbands, no phones…

just my girls, good conversation and good wine. I’ve been trying to let myself enjoy one day a

week to do something with my friends, whether that be a movie night or brunch. I know most

people think of self-care and identify things they do alone, and as much as I enjoy time alone, at

this point in my life self-care to me surrounding myself with love and laughter.

Journal #10- September 27, 2020

The last two weeks have felt a little calmer for me. We’re still dealing with impatient

landlords and clients, but due to an issue with the bank the funds are in and our executive

director trying to come up with the best system for her reports to the city, we didn’t get any new
cases last week like we were expecting. It’s causing some anxiety to how we are going to be able

to best assist the cases we have waiting since amounts owed are only going up, but it gave us all

a chance to catch up and breathe. I went from working with 10+ cases consecutively and getting

15+ new cases every other week to being able to get all of my first cases complete and payments

processed, and I only have four to finish! I also think I’ll be able to hold on to this paid position

after October when funding was scheduled to expire, and after my internship is up in December!

I’ve been talking to a colleague about getting my MSW, I was not sure if I wanted to because I

am burned out with school after chasing this BSW for 8 years. I’m leaning more towards going

now, but it really works out because I can still do my MSW internship along with my paid

position at this agency if I choose to.

Journal #9 (454)- September 10, 2020

The last couple of months have been crazy! I have not been working as closely with my

general clients. I have about 50 COVID-19 crisis intervention clients on top of the 50 general

clients I was assigned prior to our agency receiving a grant from the City of Fayetteville under

the CARES Act. This has given me some high-intensity training on what I may be doing once I

begin my social work career, but most of all, it has taught me to roll with the punches as they

come.

I have also been able to grow in my skills as it pertains to the Core Competencies. The

opportunity that I have received to work directly with clients who are seeking assistance under

the CARES Act has given me the opportunity to grow the most in Core Competency 5, engaging

in policy practice. This competency states that social workers need to understand that human

rights and social justice are arbitrated by policy and how each level of government implements

these policies. I have been able to get an inside look at just how policy and all of our rights as
human beings are intertwined. Prior to the implementation of the CARES Act in the City of

Fayetteville, many Fayetteville residents were being taken to court to be evicted and having their

lights and water shut off in the middle of a pandemic. Some landlords were experiencing trouble

paying their mortgages, and some just needed an excuse to put some people out (in my opinion).

Thankfully, City officials saw the struggle many residents were experiencing and ordered a halt

on eviction courts and utility disconnections. Once the halt on evictions and disconnection was

up, city officials dispersed hundreds of thousands of dollars to local agency so citizens could

receive the help they need, free of charge. I always knew policy was at the heart of social justice,

but actually being a small cog in it all makes me think about things completely differently. At the

start of all this, I found myself frustrated with landlords and utility companies. I couldn’t

understand how they could threaten so many people with eviction and disconnection when so

many have experienced losing their jobs and waiting on unemployment or other opportunities to

open up. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t have hearts! But now I realize it is deeper than

these individual landlords or utility companies, they have to get their orders from somewhere. I

realized it all truly does start at the top and it trickles down, so for change to truly be effective for

us all as individuals, policy makers need to be held accountable. This opportunity has also

allowed me to grow in this competency by helping me understand my role in policy development

and implementation. In the beginning of this process, I noticed that a local utility company was

not offering extension plans to all customers, so that meant people who were waiting on case

managers to contact them could be left in the dark, literally. I brought this up with our executive

director and she agreed that as long as this funding is in place, the utility company would have to

work with customers who were seeking assistance. She brought it up in her meeting with city

officials overseeing this funding and they came up with a plan to work with the utility company
and clients. The utility company implemented a payment plan to avoid disconnection with

customers on waiting lists to receive assistance. This showed me that although I am working on a

micro level, I can still help implement real change on behalf of my clients.

Journal #4 (453)- July 2, 2020

This last couple of weeks have been pretty busy. My caseload jumped from 24 clients to

36 clients very quickly. The interns that were here when I started are starting to transition out, so

I’m getting all of their clients for the most part. I have been conducting intakes on my own and I

feel a lot more comfortable than I did a couple of weeks ago. I’m getting the hang of what

resources are available for specific needs that clients tend to present with. I am also starting to

fill out the funding forms for my clients. The case manager coordinator/my supervisor used to do

that and send it up to the executive director, but it seems to be easier for each case manager to do

their own since we are getting so many requests for funding. I think I’m building a great rapport

with the clients that are involved right now and that makes me feel amazing. Clients and my

colleagues have been telling me that my attitude draws people in and can help with clients being

comfortable with me (I have a couple of clients that talk to me about EVERYTHING). This

makes me feel so fulfilled! I feel like I’m finally starting to fulfill my calling. I have been having

the time of my life at this placement.

Journal #1- May 24, 2020

This first week was pretty slow due to coronavirus complicating how establishments are

run. I completed my orientation with Tiffani on Monday. That was pretty cut and dry, although I

love how laidback Tiffani is. Our personalities mesh well. She explained how Connections

usually runs and what would be expected of me as an intern. She explained that most of my role

would consist of case management and I would likely be the case manager for around 20 cases.
The rest of the week, I attended different virtual workshops held by other interns with

Connections, and one that was facilitated by another organization in the area. The plan for this

week is for me to sit in on some intakes so I can prepare to start building my caseload.

Journal #2- May 31, 2020

This week was pretty much more of the same from last week. I was really excited and a

little anxious to get started, but most of the week consisted of me continuing to study the

procedure manual. My supervisor went back to work at the office this past Tuesday, so she’s

been pretty busy, but she kept in contact. The layout of the office will be different, the children’s

room will essentially be used for reception as a way to try to keep kids out of there and hopefully

prevent/slow the spread of COVID-19. I was able to attend some virtual workshops with my

colleagues on building resilience. The workshops are open to clients as well, but none attended

this week. My supervisor thought there may have been a miscommunication in the newsletter

that gets sent to clients. Tiffani said I can come into the office next week to shadow intakes if I

would like. The schedule we planned is Tuesday-Thursday 8:30am-4pm. Tiffani also assigned

me a case load of 20 clients, so I’m super excited to start in the office and begin

contacting/building rapport with them.

Journal #3- June 21, 2020

The last few weeks have been pretty busy. I started going into the agency a few weeks

ago so I could get a more hands-on feel of what my job consists of. I was able to shadow my

supervisor, other staff and interns on their intake calls. Due to COVID-19, all intakes are

conducted virtually, and it pretty much just verifies what the client submits on their online

screening form while adding some context to their story. I have also been working on assisting

my clients with securing financial assistance. This requires collecting documents from the client
like their lease and utility bill, if that is what they need assistance with, and verification of any

income they receive. I was able to do a soft intake on my own, and I feel better about doing full

intakes on my own in the coming weeks. I had a couple I need to schedule, but the clients have

not gotten back to me to schedule yet. I feel as though these last few weeks have been preparing

me for getting out on my own and being effective with the services I provide my clients.

Journal #2- May 31, 2020

This week was pretty much more of the same from last week. I was really excited and a

little anxious to get started, but most of the week consisted of me continuing to study the

procedure manual. My supervisor went back to work at the office this past Tuesday, so she’s

been pretty busy, but she kept in contact. The layout of the office will be different, the children’s

room will essentially be used for reception as a way to try to keep kids out of there and hopefully

prevent/slow the spread of COVID-19. I was able to attend some virtual workshops with my

colleagues on building resilience. The workshops are open to clients as well, but none attended

this week. My supervisor thought there may have been a miscommunication in the newsletter

that gets sent to clients. Tiffani said I can come into the office next week to shadow intakes if I

would like. The schedule we planned is Tuesday-Thursday 8:30am-4pm. Tiffani also assigned

me a case load of 20 clients, so I’m super excited to start in the office and begin

contacting/building rapport with them.

Journal #1- May 24, 2020

This first week was pretty slow due to coronavirus complicating how establishments are

run. I completed my orientation with Tiffani on Monday. That was pretty cut and dry, although I

love how laidback Tiffani is. Our personalities mesh well. She explained how Connections

usually runs and what would be expected of me as an intern. She explained that most of my role
would consist of case management and I would likely be the case manager for around 20 cases.

The rest of the week, I attended different virtual workshops held by other interns with

Connections, and one that was facilitated by another organization in the area. The plan for this

week is for me to sit in on some intakes so I can prepare to start building my caseload.