Overcoming my Fear of Reading and Writing

Over the course of a person’s life, there is no doubt that the person will experience a

series of challenges thrown their way that are extremely frustrating in the short run. But

somehow, they are able to overcome these challenges and they are able to come to certain

realizations that help shape them for the long run. My challenge was reading and writing. I found

myself lost and winded after reading a story. I struggled on finding the underlying message in

what I was reading. I could not problem solve. And when it came to writing, I found myself lost

and intimidated by a blank piece of paper in which I had to transform into a piece of writing. I

will never forget the gut wrench and the horrible anxiety when a teacher placed an intimidating

essay rubric in front of me. When I started to write, it made me nervous and I felt extremely

self-conscious about the random array of jumbled words I attempted put on the paper.

The summer going into freshman year I took a job at bakery in my hometown. I took this

job while having the average high school working mentality. My mentality was “This job is

probably so stupid and I will definitely hate it. But I need money for clothes and gas”. Little did I

know that I would get much more out of this job that I thought was a “bust.” In the end, this job

would turn out to have such a tremendous impact on my literacy and on my attitude towards

certain things in life.

I worked in the retail part of the business as well as customer service. I spent a lot of

time working on custom orders for weddings and other special events. I also spent a lot of time

dealing with and responding to customer feedback, especially complaints. I dealt with problems

I never thought existed and worked with people from all different walks of life. There were times
where I became so furious, I wanted to scream at cry at the customers and the problems

presented to me. I really do believe in the statement that after you work in customer service you

can do anything. But what did this do for me?

I have been working at this business for almost 4 years now. Let me just say that working

in customer service will never be easy. At first, the job and the tasks were haunting and

overwhelming to me. When I started, I wanted to quit almost every second of when I was there.

My heart sank when I was asked to answer the phone or respond to an email because I thought I

was illiterate. I was frightened by the sound of customers screaming at me and I stood there with

a blank look on my face while trying to get the courage to physically speak back to them. I was

nervous and unconfident in myself when writing out an email to someone after they told us that

one of our products broke their tooth. I just was not comfortable with my ability to read or listen

to problems and react back to them. I came in that job being very self-conscious about my

reading, writing, and problem-solving skills. However, this job has gotten a whole lot easier and

I can attribute that to the increase of my literacy skills I gained from working. Over time, I

realized I had gained more control and my communication grew exponentially. The more people

I worked with and the more problems I faced, the more I was able to enjoy my job and look

forward to the next day. I found that my confidence increased while speaking publicly and my

comfortability to use more mature vocabulary increased.

This job might have taught me more than school ever did. It is exactly what I needed to

help gain more strength to be able to read and write. I was used to a teacher handing me back my

paper, shrugging while telling me it was horrible. I realize this is why I dreaded reading and

writing so much. I always saw my friends who were insanely smart, 4.0 students and writing an

essay was the least of their concerns. I was jealous when they stuck their 100% in my face after I
had just bombed the essay. And I was jealous of the positive recognition they received from our

teacher. I realize I never had the chance to learn how to write creatively and capture what came

to mind. I only had anxiety about a grade and was too scared about what all goes on the paper. I

realize I never had the right mentality or the right mindset when in a classroom setting. I could

never flourish because of the haunting and competitive grading system.

Once I was given the freedom to read and write without that anxiety of a grade, I think it

helped my ideas flow together so much better. This helped me form a whole new perspective on

reading and writing. This freedom taught me how to actually read a problem and process

information without feeling that overwhelming amount of worry. It also allowed me to be able to

respond either in writing or by talking. I began to believe that writing was not the burden I

thought it was. It was a blank canvas that could be done a billion different ways. And that is

when I started to appreciate literacy so much more.

I can say that this job has given me the confidence I needed for reading and writing. It

forced me to learn how to problem solve and with those problems I spent a lot of time talking to

people, reading what people had to say, or writing back to people. This is where I saw my

literacy grow tremendously. I am thankful that this job helped me come to the realization that I

can read and write and that I am skilled at it. I can see the translation of the literacy I have

gained from my job working in customer service to working on school assignments now in

college. I am so much better at problem solving and analyzing text. I am so much better at

expanding my ideas for certain topics and writing for a long amount of time. I have seen my

vocabulary become a lot broader. I can now open up a writing assignment and feel joy and

excitement instead of fear. These things never came natural to me, but after a lot of time put into

my job, these skills became a lot more apparent, it just took me some time on how to figure out
the path of my own literacy. I am now able to enjoy reading and writing because it is not a

burden to me anymore.

I would highly recommend a job in retail or customer service for anyone, especially those

of who are in my shoes. If reading and writing is a struggle for you, this type of job can help you

in ways you cannot imagine. It helps build confidence in problem solving skills. It helps create

more effective communication and communication skills. It improves your ability to read and

write. Improving all of these aspects will help you for the rest of your life and increasing your

literacy allows you to take on all kinds of challenges.