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Bold

Magazine
1st issue: The misconcep tions of YOU

5 RANDOM
MISCONCEPTIONS
STDs
SEXUAL FETISH
Generally, a fetish is
“an object that someone
cannot get sexually
aroused without”

INTERVIEW
w/ BOLD
TIPSTIPS
TIPSTIPS
TIPSTIPS NETFLIX
TIPSTIPS NETFLIX
TIPSTIPS NETFLIX
Letter from the editor
Hello, beautiful!

Welcome to BOLD - a Vietnamese-based magazine about sex


education, sex-related issues, and relationship for women. We
want to deliver the most accurate knowledge as well as provide
new viewpoints on this issue. For us, this magazine is something
that “Never too BOLD to read.”

From a young age, we girls are taught that sex is a taboo. In a


traditional country in Vietnam, sex is against social norms and
customs. We live with a little awareness of how sexual activities
work, and with the invisible fear and anxiety of having a safe sex
life. I believe sex is not only a human physical need, but it also
reflects an aspect of mentality and society. The lack of knowl-
edge about sex is brutal, that it has contributed to the trend of
abortion, sexual harassment, and gender discrimination. All you
need to do to get rid of them as soon as possible.

In this 1st issue of BOLD, we want to discuss the misconcep-


tions. Regarding sexuality, myriads of myths and misunder-
standings still exist that make us feel more vague and inexperi-
enced about this topic. Find a seat and enjoy BOLD to get wind
of the fact.

Hope you enjoy this!

Nhan Ngo
Nhan Ngo
Editor-in-chief
Table of Contents

5 Misconceptions 04-05

Hymen 07-08

Abortion 09-12

STDs 13-14

Sexual Fetish 15-16

Cosmetics tips 17

Q&A 18-19

Netflix show 20
5 random misconception
about sex you might hear
at least once
Before becoming thorough about sex and orgasm, it is understandable that you
once feel overwhelmed and confused with some sexual assertions. You doubt
yourself about the rightness of them but at the same time, those statements sound
too persuasive that you decide to believe in them right away. Those below are 5
popular sexual myths and the facts hidden behind them. Remember that they are
just 5 among hundreds of misconceptions which might cross your mind when men-
tioning sex.

01.
The longer your sex
activity last, the more
skillful you are
It is wrong to assume that
lengthen the duration,
by all means, can prove
your excellence and
proficiency in sex. My group of close friends commonly discussed about the regular length
of sex acts; then, they immediately compare with their habits to conclude if they are
healthy or abnormal. If the time of sex were shorter than usual, they would have pouted,
"Oh my God, is he having erectile dysfunction?" On the contrary, if the time were too long,
they would rant uncomfortably. "Oh, he might be satisfying but I am tired. My "girly part"
has been dry, but he keeps penetrating." Is the problem really about time, or is it women's
nature to be a problematic creature?

According to the findings of a survey, the average time of sexual intercourse lasts from
5 to 7 minutes. However, the latent lies in various factors, such as health, location, vibe
of the bedroom, etc. There should be no bias upwards the time estimates in copulation,
although people would be proudly brag about how they could go long all night. Sex is not
something you can monitor like a bedtime clock. Putting pressure about the time
estimation might affect the mood of lovemaking that destroys the excitement and rejoice
to reach the sexual climax.

4
02.
Having sex during period
can totally
prevent pregnancy
Sex is a basic need for
humans. Increasing sex
experiences is an excellent
way to heal the relationship, even with sexual intercourse during menstrual bleeding. There
is a popular myth I have heard among Vietnamese youngsters that you can have sex during
period to avoid pregnancy. This also leads to a reinforcement of withdrawing
contraceptive methods since there is no egg to fertilize at that time. It seems,
notwithstanding, to be a big misconception. Scientifically, regular ovulation appears around
day 14 of the cycle. The average length of a cycle is around 28 to 30 days; however, there
are months you might suffer from shorter cycles. Due to this instability, having intercourse
during your period is a jeopardy that it might bring a possibility of being conceived. For
example, if your sexual activity takes place at the end of your period and your ovulation
occurs earlier, there is a high chance you can be pregnant.

03.
The difference in physical
appearance is a barrier to
sexual activity.

This problem indeed


troubles lots of couples.
Some believe that the
difference in terms of
weight, height, "sensitive
parts" size is a big deal that
it has increased anxieties,
insecurities, and distant the
relationship. It is undeniable that there always come up myriads of problems when in a
sexual relationship.
However, sex is about harmony and understanding from both sides. It takes time, it needs
devotion, and it requires the commitment to perfect itself. You can't underestimate the
sex life of others based on what exists outside. Many couples follow happy sex lives despite
their disparity of outside look. It demonstrates the little effect of the difference in physical
appearance towards perfect sexual intercourse. Instead of whining about the difference,
spend time to learn and understand more about you and your partners' needs. It's all about
the skill, not about the size.

5
05.
Masturbation is
only for men.

It exists a widespread opinion that the


emergency contraceptive pill might im-
pair future fertility or put the women use
them in life-risking situation. This brings
to the fact that m From a very early age,
Vietnamese parents have taught their
children (especially the girls) that sex is
something gross and dirty. You have to
keep your sexual desire as low as possi-
ble if you were born as a girl. This unfair
opinion provokes the fear of female mas-
turbation. There is one fact that every-
body needs acknowledging regardless of

04.
those uncomfortable feelings. Men have
sexual needs and enjoy sexual pleasure,
so do women. Masturbation never stands
for the underlying thoughts of "I want
to betray my partner" or "I am a lustful
girl so I masturbate." Masturbation is a
Emergency contraceptive basic need as well as it is an ideal way for
pills (EC) a woman to understand and take care of
cause infertility her body. It is an act of self-love. It also
contributes to pulling off the orgasm
that makes every sexual activity perfect-
It exists a widespread opinion that the
ly complete. This stereotype should be
emergency contraceptive pill might im-
diminished for women's sexual confidence.
pair future fertility or put the women use
any couples decided not to take the EC
them in life-risking situation. This brings
after unprotected sex, albeit they were
to the fact that many couples decided
not ready for pregnancy. Statistics show
not to take the EC after unprotected
no sight of possibility for the aforemen-
sex, albeit they were not ready for preg-
tioned hypothesis; alternatively, the
nancy. Statistics show no sight of possi-
benefits of EC are highlighted. EC might
bility for the aforementioned hypothesis;
contain minor side effects, but it causes
alternatively, the benefits of EC are
"no long term or serious side effects." The
highlighted. EC might contain minor side
reason why condoms are more encour-
effects, but it causes "no long term or se-
aged in Vietnam is its effectiveness of
rious side effects." The reason why con-
avoiding pregnancy (with a much higher
doms are more encouraged in Vietnam is
ratio than EC) and STDs (sexually trans-
its effectiveness of avoiding pregnancy
mitted diseases).
(with a much higher ratio than EC) and
STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).

6
1 million dates a week

*Disclaimer: Be careful with what you saw


Obsessed with
virginity? Explore
5 mind -blowing
facts of hymen.
You must be familiar with the term “Virginity is the golden thing of women.” Many
societies have overrated the importance of a hymen as it holds a cultural signifi-
cance to be a symbol of virginity. In Vietnam, there happen lots of arguments and
misunderstandings between couples about the loss of virginity by hymen absence.
How many times did your parents teach you not to have sex because it might
“break” the hymen? Do you ever feel that you are an abnormal one if you are not
bleeding during the first time of sex? Let’s look up these 5 facts to clear the mist
of the hymen.

01.
The hymen perfect sexual intercourse.
is not Instead of whining about the difference,
a closed membrane. spend time to learn and understand more
about you and your partners' needs. It's all
This problem about the skill, not about the size.
indeed troubles lots
of couples. Some

02.
believe that the dif-
Not everyone
ference in terms of
possesses
weight, height,
a hymen.
"sensitive parts"
size is a big deal We all hear that all females are born with a
that it has increased anxieties, insecu- hymen, or else, the hymen is a factor to in-
rities, and distant the relationship. It is dicate virginity since it appears on EVERY
undeniable that there always come up myr- woman’s body. In fact, some women are
iads of problems when in a sexual relation- born without a hymen or some own such a
ship. However, sex is about harmony and very small hymen are scientifically proved.
understanding from both sides. It takes Thus, is it a disability without an innate
time, it needs devotion, and it requires the hymen? The answer is absolute, no. This is
commitment to perfect itself. You can't entirely healthy and does not require any
underestimate the sex life of others based types of medical treatment.
on what exists outside. Many couples fol-
low happy sex lives
despite their disparity of outside look.
It demonstrates the little effect of the
difference in physical appearance towards

8
03.
The hymen is not always
torn after the first time
you have sex

“The first sexual penetration is the time the hymen will


be torn.” Here it comes, the biggest fallacies of how
a hymen works. The hymen might indeed be stretched
and shredded after the first penetrative intercourse
that causes slightly bleeding. However, there are
more ways to tear hymen besides sex. According to
Fahimeh Sasan, an ob/gyn physician in New York, the
absence of a hymen before sex can be accounted for
“Rigorous exercise, gymnastics, horseback riding,
cycling, using large tampons, manipulation with a finger, or a pelvic exam.” Therefore, the
hymen can not be a representative symbol of virginity. At the same time, some kinds of the
hymen are elastic so it can allow sexual intercourse without hymen injure. A girl’s confession
about her loss of hymen after cycling used to be an example of how girls lie about their vir-
ginity in the past; now, it turns to be scientifically valid.

04.
Painful sex during the first
time is not due to the
hymenal stretch

We all hear that all females are born with a


hymen, or else, the hymen is a factor to in-
dicate virginity since it appears on EVERY
woman’s body. In fact, some women are
born without a hymen or some own such a
very small hymen are scientifically proved.
Thus, is it a disability without an innate
hymen? The answer is absolute, no. This is
entirely healthy and does not require any
types of medical treatment.

05.
Hymen examination can not
determine whether sexual
assault has occurred
It is seen in some movies that detecting a sexual assault by the status of the hymen is pos-
sible. However, no medical or legal condition supports this idea due to the lack of evidence.
Moreover, you can hardly tell whether a woman has had sex before just by looking at her
hymen. Every hymen has differences in shape; hence, there is no standard and base to find
proof of penetration.

9
Abortion
from
obsteric
experts
perspective
Interviewed by Thuy Le,
edited by Nhan Ngo

Vietnam is ranked as one of the top countries possessing the highest abortion rate.
(Annual abortion numbers for countries 2008, PP USA 2013, IPPF 2014). It results
from the lack of understanding about sexual health as well as sexual issues. We
luckily conducted an interview with Mrs. Cao Thi Hong Chi who is currently working
as an obstetrician in Center for Reproductive Health. Discussing abortion with an
expert is an unforgettable and scarce experience; however, it worths all the time
and effort with useful knowledge she provided.

Q: A:
Hello. What do you do as Most of the time, I do medical check-ups and
an obstetrician? consult. Besides, I also work as a member of
the Vietnam Family Planning Association
(VINAFPA). There are annual visits and
gift-giving programs here, such as giving birth
control pills for free or ordering free rings. It
depends on the period or stage that the pro-
gram will differ.

Q: A:
Hello. Why did you choose to (laugh) It only because my mom used to be an
be an obstetrician? obstetrician, so I "inherit" her ability.

10
Q: A:
What is the main issue of Viet- I think….The lack of sexual knowledge. The
namese youngsters these days? youth do not know about sexual health at all.
When I go to deliver a speech about safe sex
at some schools, everybody said, "Oh, there's
no need to tell us, we all know it. Sexual prob-
lems are common things now." That's right!
They know inaccurately. Before giving any
information, I always ask them three questions
to examine their awareness of sex education.
However, all the answers show that they are
so shallow or even have no understanding of
this issue.

In my opinion, when in a romantic relationship,


avoiding unexpected pregnancy is a must. I
know that sex is not a forbidden thing, but
young people need to perceive how to pro-
tect themselves. The ratio of abortion in the
medical center I am working at is very high.
Approximately 60 percent of my patients are
unmarried; most of them are young people.
My center is nearby many universities and
high school; therefore, I can witness a lot of
university students come to me to seek help.
There have even been people who come to my
service not only once, but several times. This
would, of course, affect their well-being and
fertility later on in their life.

Q: A:
Many people are struggling to It sounds unethical to kill a baby. I understand
take an abortion due to the feel- their feelings. However, if they give birth to
ing of guilt. How do you think the kid without having the ability to raise
about this reason? them, it is a crime. Please think thorough-
ly that the kid needs the best conditions to
grow up. I will give you an example. One week
ago, a girl around 2nd-year university booked
an appointment. She told me that her period
had been delayed for months. Through her
belly condition, I can guess she is pregnant,
and it is more notorious when she took the
ultrasound scan. It is 36-week-fetus! She in-
sisted, "No. Maybe it is a mistaken. How can I
have a baby". Only after the ultrasound result
came up did she believe in what I said. It is only
three weeks left until the baby would be born,

11
Q: A:
Many people are struggling to yet she had no idea about her pregnancy. How
take an abortion due to the feel- can someone not know such simple and funda-
ing of guilt. How do you think mental knowledge? What would she do once
about this reason? the baby is born? Will she be able to take care
of her kid back then?

At that point, it almost seems like it would be


better to avoid unexpected pregnancy. Or
else, give the baby away to couples who are
unable to conceive rather than raising it in her
grim living condition. At least the baby would
have a good and better-off life.

Q: A:
Are there any problems that make The rising trend of abortion is what has been
you painfully think about since bothering me a lot. Usually, when the fetus is
you started your career? pulled out, I never throw it away because it is
heart-aching. My rule is never aborting an em-
bryo that has turned into a big baby. It's not
about my ability to do such things. It is just a
thought I am always obsessed with, "It used to
be a human, but now it is cruelly abandoned."
Especially since I have a family and my kids, I
never do these things again, albeit it is my job.

That is the most troubling part of the job for


me. Even though it is a part of my job, I never
like or wish to perform such procedures. The
only thing that I want is to treat my patients
well. I feel a lot of burden from implementing
such systems. Therefore, I opened up a small
charity box at my clinic for the sake of peace
on my mind and the patient. Knowing that we
would be using the money to help other chil-
dren who have been born makes me feel relief.
I did all these even though I am not religious.

Indeed, I only want to help all youngsters to be


aware so that they can protect themselves. I
know that only one day of my consult can not
change the perception of the whole society.
However, after one day with me, some peo-
ple can grow their mindset and obtain more
knowledge; for me, that's a success. It means,
by the way, the plan works partially.

12
Q:
Thank you for spending time for
taking this interview. I wish you
success in your future endeavors!

Wondering if your contraception


suits your body?

Contraception Effectiveness

Previous Next

13
Crack 5 most asked
questions about STDs
Can STDs kill you? Yes and No
STDs can weaken your immune system, which makes you be easily exposed to other infec-
tions. Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is a complication of gonorrhea and chlamydia that
can leave women unable to have children. AIDS (final stage of HIV) and HPV can kill you.
16000

12000
Deaths per year

8000

4000

0
2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

2018
New HIV Infections: All ages estimate HIV/AIDS-related deaths

Source: UNAIDS 2019 estimates

Typical types of STDs

01. Gonorrhea 02. Syphilis


• Caused by Neisseria gonorrhoeae • Caused by Treponema pallidum

• First Symtom • The signs and symptoms of syphilis


- Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge may occur in four stages — primary,
from the penis or vagina secondary, latent and tertiary. There's
- Pain or buring sensation also a condition known as congenital
when urinating syphilis, which occurs when a preg-
- Painful, swollen testicles nant woman with syphilis passes the
- Painful bowelmovements disease to her unborn infant.

• Can be cured with the right treat- • Can be cured with the right antibi-
ment, but some drug-resistant strains otics
are developing

14
03. Chlamydia 04. HIV
• Caused by Chlamydia trachomatis • Caused by Human Immunodeficiency
Virus
• First Symtom
- Painful urination • First Stage
- Lower abdominal pain - Fever, Headache, Sore throat,
- Vaginal discharge in women Swollen lymph, Rash
- Discharge from the penis in men
- Bleeding between periods • Last Stage
in women - Persistent, unexplained fatigue
- Testicular pain in men - Soaking night sweats
- Unusual, opportunistic infections
• Can be cured with the right treat-
ment • No effective cure at the moment. Can
control by proper treatment

05. Trichomonas 06. Herpes


• Caused by a tiny parasite • Caused by Herpes simplex virus 2

• First Symtom • First Symtom


- Clear, white, greenish or - Small red bumps, blisters or open
yellowish vaginal discharge sores in the genital, anal and
- Discharge from the penis nearby areas
- Vaginal itching or irritation - Pain or itching around genital area
- Pain during sexual intercourse buttlocks and inner thighs
- Painful urination
• No cure at the moment. Medicines
• Can be cured with antibiotics can prevent or shorten outbreaks

How to prevent STDs Can STDs come back?

STDs can be mostly prevented by avoiding sexual Falsed medication can cause failure in
interactions, such as vaginal, oral or anal sex. treatment process.

Even if you are successfully cured from


Chlamydia, gonorrhea, or another STD,
Such preventions like condom can be used to
chances of getting the infections again
protect you from STDs if being used correctly.
might still happen due to the exposure of a
new STD

Failing to finish your antibiotics does not


Vaccine is also said to be able to prevent the only prevent STD from being entirely
most common STD. cured, but also make it more challenging
to treat it next time.

Where to treat STDs in Vietnam

Public Hospital : Bach Mai


Hospital, Viet Duc Hospital, Medical Specialist Urgent Care Clinics
Hospital of Hanoi Medical
University

15
Sexual fetish : Normal or
abnormal obsession ?
It was on a bonding trip when I was in high school. We had gathered as a group and
played "Truth or Dare." The game soon became boring since we were lack of ideas for
the questions and challenges. All of a sudden, when we were going to end this game,
one girl suggested, "Hey, give the last turn for me. I have something to ask." Hesitant-
ly, she pointed at a girl in a group asking, "M, do you...have any sexual fetishes? What
are they?" The atmosphere turned silent for a few seconds. A few moments later, the
crowd started to mutter. Some wonder what sexual fetishes are, while others think
the question is too bold and inappropriate. At everyone's reaction, M crept back, "I
am obsessed with having sex in front of a mirror to the extent that I always choose a
hotel room which has a large mirror. I'm so embarrassed to confess this." The ques-
tion is, what is a sexual fetish? Why did my friend M. feel distressed to talk about it?

16
What is a sexual fetish?
Sexual fetish refers to sexual excitement with non-living objects or non-genital body parts.
People with fetishes are interested in fantasizing, easily being aroused, and even having an
orgasm with the object of attraction. It means, generally, a fetish is "an object that some-
one cannot get sexually aroused without." says sex expert and psychologist Dense Renye.

There exist many different types of fetishes that sexologists have divided throughout his-
tory. They can be grouped as clothing, body parts, footwear, and even rubber. Many people
feel sexually aroused with leather in their bodies during sex, while some have a deep inter-
est in licking partners' feet in the foreplay time (foot fetish). In the case of M, a mirror is
her object of attraction, which called Katoptronophilia.

There exists the type who wants to take control of others (Dominance & Submission);
also, the kind only achieves sexual climax when physically torturing the partner like
billionaire Gray in "50 shades of Gray". (Sadomasochism); and, the type that only enjoys
sex with multiple people at the same time (orgy/gangbang). You must be familiar with the
notion of role-playing sex or public sex. These two are also considered as part of sexual
fantasies. Generally, kink is the extent terminology of fetish, which is also popularly
utilized in ordinary life.

16
17
An abnormal obsession
A sexual fetish, or sexual kink, is considered 'abnormal' in this society. While sex is still
a sensitive issue that is avoid being mentioned all the time, it is fair that sexual fetish is
looked down on. I used to hear my friends commenting on people who are into BDSM. Most
of them agreed that those people must be mentally problematic, and they need to see the
doctor. Disgusting, weird, psychic is just some common words to describe their expression
among those fetishes. Ignoring or accepting this interest seems to be unpopular.

However, anyone can have a sexual fetish. It can take place inside the closed bedroom of
the "bad guy" or the docile girl. It is discussed actively in the sex forum of teenagers from
16 to 23. There were some hotels opened with BDSM bedroom style to serve the need of
those who own this fetish. This is normal nowadays. In a considerate level, it is entirely rea-
sonable to help us reach the depth of sexual pleasure. We are not the ones who have the
right to judge personal lives of others. Everyone has their sex interests and experiences;
it is as well as a person's' right. Imagine you love eating rice in a bowl, and others like to eat
rice on a plate, it is simple like that. As long as sexual fetishes bring satisfaction for those
who possess them without harming anyone or anything, it is accepted. My friends' opinion,
likewise other conservative views in this society, can't stop the curiosity of those who want
to explore their inside needs.

18
When a fetish is harmful
A fetish is not a disease or disorder by definition; nonetheless, it can reach that level if
it causes intense and lasting distress. According to sex expert, these fetishes and kinks
occur between someone are acceptable if they are in mutual agreement and feel happy to
do it. When it turns excessive, bizarre, and harmful to others, it becomes a problem that
needs counseling from a psychiatrist. If you are addicted to your fetish that it keeps you
from doing your job, you must consider it dangerous. For example, a physician could have
a foot fetish, and spend a significant amount of time and attention on his patients' feet.
Moreover, people with disorders might spend the entire time stay alone with the object of
attraction while they are maintaining sexual relationships with other ones.The danger of
sexual fetishes and kinks might lie in the lack of knowledge from the youngsters. As Viet-
nam is a traditional Eastern country, sexual fetishes and fantasies are against social norms
and customs. Consequently, the feeling of embarrassment and awkward to talk and ask
about fetish issue can result in potential hazards, such as the improper way to perform
safe sex.

Conclusion
It is normal to have sexual fetishes and kinks. If you portray ones, it doesn’t mean you are
weird and bizzare. Social mindset might be a thing, but don’t obsess with it to neglect your
true self. Moreover, researching thoroughly about your fetishes is a must to protect your
health while having fantastic moment with your partner(s).

19
Get started for a perfect
date : Bodycare tips

01.
The Body Shop's
mango body yogurt
Summer is coming, but don’t forget to hydrate
your skin with the Mango Body Yogurt. The Body
Shop has just developed a brand new and light-
weigh formula which help to absorb easily in your
skin as well as keep it smooth for 48 hours. Good-
bye dryness, goodbye damp skin ! Relax yourself in
endless fruity and tropical scent of mangoes. This
fragrance, together with the sweetness of
organic almond milk.

02.
Tree Hut's shea sugar
scrub coconut lime
Have you ever wondered why your skin maintain
to be damp although the moisturizer is on? It’s
because you haven’t chosen the right exfoliation.
Try out sugar scrub of Tree Hut with shea butter,
natural oils, evening primrose, safflower seed and
sweet almond. All those ingredients are known
as the best meditation for a soft, smooth and
hydrate skin. The scent of coconut lime is also
exotic that will leave your feeling of relaxation like
you are on a summer beach

03. C&E's Caribbean island


wild flowers hand cream
A study finds that the appearance of hands can
reveal your age; thus, hand care is a must! Explore
the combination of holy grail ingredients, such as
shea butter, macadamia seed oil, and avocado oil,
for a moisture boost. Advent the sunlit scenery
with a garden full of wildflowers to drop yourself
in the sweetest dream and escape.

17
20
Q&A to all the girls
Q:
Hello BOLD,
I used to be a 20 virgin girl. I decided to give my current boyfriend my “first time.” I have
thought about this issue a lot, and after all considerations, I still went with the flow. The
point is, this first time which should be romantic and full of excitements, turned out to be
a nightmare for me. “My girl” was wet, but I felt no sign of pleasure. I didn’t achieve the
sexual climax as well. Especially, I had vaginal bleeding, and I know that it was the loss of vir-
ginity. I feel sad and depressed. I feel like I have lost something important. My inner self is
empty. I suddenly grew hatred towards my boyfriend, although he did nothing wrong. He is
trying to take care of me, but I am so distant to reach. What happened to me? Is it because
of my elating decision? What should I do to get rid of the existent anxieties?
(Hoa, 20 y.o, Hanoi)

22
A:
Hello Hoa,
Thank you for your interest in BOLD Confession.

Regarding your question, I must say that your concern is reasonable. It is similar to many
girls’ feelings after their first time having sex. I also developed such feelings when I experi-
enced my initial time. Sex is not an alarm clock; therefore, it is unpredictable without being
able to be monitored. You might enjoy the first sexual intercourse as a tool of pleasure and
excitement, but you might see it as a source of fear and anxiety. It is hard to tell how it will
be during sex. What we always see in the movies usually is far beyond reality. I know that
many inexperienced people trust and believe in romantic scenes and sweet footages the
movies bring us, but it is not like that. I mean, it is possible that you find it painful, because
things aren’t always going easy—everything, not only your first time experience.

While the incident is different for everyone, there are a few words I hope to deliver to you.

That having sex won’t make you to be a different person. Virginity is only in definition, and
you are influenced mostly by social context. It either means you will be more mature now or
it will change you. You will remain to be a lovely girl as usual with all the good traits of your
personality. Nothing changes. The only thing changed is that you have a new experience.
At some points, it is a good thing.

That you don’t need to have an orgasm like your partner. You are inexperienced, and it
is new and fresh for you. Orgasm is the best moment during sexual intercourse; you can
achieve it once you have practiced without an anxious mind.

That it’s okay to talk about it. You can tell your boyfriend how scared and depressed you
are right now. Tell him to understand your situation. Tell him not to reach you when you are
unstable. But let him take care of you because it is the sign showing that he cares for you,
and he guarantees to do something to make you feel better. You should be proud of your-
self for having such a good and caring boyfriend like him. These detrimental feelings are
temporary. After all of them fade away, tell him what you need to build an improved sexual
activity. A conversation about this issue, at the first stage, might be embarrassed and awk-
ward; however, it contributes to a long term relationship with well-rounded understandings
from two sides.

Last but not least, it is not an elating decision. It’s worth trying to examine all or suspicions
and confusion about sex. It might not go well as you expected, but at least you tried. Leave
yourself be for a while, then try again. Be well-prepared about what might need, and do
it with consensus. If, after several times of trials, you still feel uncomfortable with sexual
intercourse, you can get rid of it. Every problem leads to proper solutions; don’t bury your-
self in negative thoughts.

The most important thing you should bear in mind is that sex is your choice. You can
choose to do it or not do it. As long as you are happy without being forced by your part-
ner, there is no problems.

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3 sex related latest show that
worth streaming on Netflix

01. Sex Education (2020)


Sex Education is a world phenomenal Netflix series, which ranked #1 top 10 Netflix Vietnam even after it released for 2 weeks. The series
perfectly depict love, friendship and sex life of teenagers in a bold and direct way. The plot tells the story of Otis - a shy teenage boy whose
mother is a sex expert. Otis set up a sex consult business with Maeve, his classmate, to earn money as well as to educate other students
about sexual issues. The attractive point of “Sex Education”, however, lies at how they approach sex in a teenagers’ viewpoint. Each
episodes tackle a sex related problem that all teenagers once face during their lifetime. Therefore, it creates empathy and understandings
among these types of audience, and soon becomes a trend all over the world.

02. Sex, Explained (2020)


Unlike Sex Education, “Sex, Explained” is not a drama series, it portrait as a type of documentary series. A documentary must be boring
and prolix to watch? This mindset might change with “Sex, Explained”. Each episodes limit the length to maximum 20 minutes, so you will
feel both attractive and informative. Every footage, every speech in this series is so real that sometimes you might feel awkward to stream
with your parents; however, all the knowledge is proof-based and scientifically proved that they are persuasive. Don’t miss it if you want to
understand thoroughly about sexual issues as well as to explore the deepest secrets of your body.

03. Bonding (2019)


Bonding is rated as the adult version of “Sex Education”. The series tells the story of Tiff, a graduated students who has a side job as a
dominatrix. She reconnects with former classmate Pete, a gay man who is struggling with his grim life, to be her assistant. This dark com-
edy show follows the pair and their clients’ sexual problems, which helps them to find themselves and learn new lessons about friendship,
love and life. The length of each episode is only 15 minutes, however, “Bonding” is still successful to deliver its message.

24
Inside the Museum of Sex
In 2002, the Museum of Sex was founded with the mission to “preserve and present the
history, evolution and cultural significance of human sexuality”. This year, with the rise of
feminism, the exhibition “NSFW - The female gaze” promises to bring an array of spec-
tacular experiences to broaden your horizon. Let’s take a look!

NSFW: Female Gaze


"Every day, women are faced with a world of images that reflect male perspectives on
sexual desire. The artists in NSFW Female Gaze both reclaim and break out of women’s
historical roles as muse and object. The exhibition showcases a fearless new visual lan-
guage of desire that defies social norms and expectations."
(Museum of Sex, 2017)

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2020. Sexual Transmitted Diseases (Stds). [on-
line] Available at: <https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm> [Accessed 19 May 2020].

Chertoff, J., 2020. Can You Get Pregnant From Unprotected Sex Around The Time Of
Your Period?. [online] healthline. Available at: <https://www.healthline.com/health/wom-
ens-health/safe-period#ovulation-and-pregnancy> [Accessed 21 May 2020].

Emergency Contraception Website. 2019. Is Emergency Contraception Safe?. [online] Avail-


able at: <https://ec.princeton.edu/questions/ecsafe.html> [Accessed 21 May 2020].

Hegazy, Abdelmonem & Al-Rukban, Mohammed. (2012). Hymen: Facts and conceptions. he-
Health. 3. 109-115.

Jennifer, G., 2020. 5 Facts About The Hymen. [online] Natural Cycles. Available at: <https://
www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/what-is-the-hymen> [Accessed 20 May 2020].

museum of sex. 2017. NSFW: FEMALE GAZE. [online] Available at: <https://www.museumof-
sex.com/portfolio_page/nsfw/?fbclid=IwAR3yWDMhSfMpkhElFceY1tVHyoAYrgwcphiLTg-
pC2duCZcy4PGDY3S5NFm4> [Accessed 20 May 2020].

Nazario, B., 2015. What Is A Sexual Fetish?. [online] webMD. Available at: <https://www.web-
md.com/sex-relationships/features/sexual-fetish#2> [Accessed 19 May 2020].

SAINT THOMAS, S., 2017. 11 Of The Most Common Sexual Fetishes. [online] allure. Available
at: <https://www.allure.com/story/common-sexual-fetishes-kinks> [Accessed 18 May 2020].

SexInfo Online. n.d. The Hymen. [online] Available at: <https://sexinfo.soc.ucsb.edu/article/


hymen> [Accessed 21 May 2020].

Artwork idea:
[Instagram account] Cannon, F 2020. Retrieved from https://www.instagram.com/frances_
cannon/

Labunsky, A., n.d. Fetish. [online] Unsplash. Available at: <https://unsplash.com/photos/


0va1MYAcE-s> [Accessed 20 May 2020].

Sparrow, S., 2016. Oh Hey!. [online] Shantisparrow. Available at: <https://www.shantispar-


row.com/oh-hey-magazine?fbclid=IwAR2Qvrk71dwDD0nBALd6qCis8hqlVNdP-O-QEPKn-
wOagbojrDHNEhcNnVI8> [Accessed 20 May 2020].

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