Shalom my Sisters in Christ,

Thank you for taking time to share your understanding of our topic on - How to
raise our children the God’s way. Indeed your contribution will go a long way
in enlightening others. Father, we are profusely grateful to you for your
commitment to see to it that we raise our children in a Godly way.
A few Highlights from a Psycho-spiritual perspective
We can be successful parents by following God’s instructions through the
Scriptures and by understanding how God created us. An example of parents in
the Bible who raised their children well include; Eunice/Loise; this mother and
grandmother raised Timothy in the fear of the Lord (2 Timothy 1:5) “I have been
reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Loise and
in your mother Eunice and I am persuaded , now lives in your also”.
Love - This is the basis of good parenting. This includes, accepting our children
as they are, supporting them, being at peace with them, being patient with them,
correcting and forgiving them. Children who know they are loved relate well with
God and others and are happy and healthy. 1 Corinthians 13:13; “So now faith,
hope and love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love”.
Understanding our Temperaments - By knowing ourselves, we are able to
understand our children too and to relate with them making parenting a smoother
journey other than a trial and error. These Temperaments include Melancholy
parents, Sanguine parents, Choleric parents and Phlegmatic parents. These
temperaments have their strengths and weaknesses and will help us seek God’s
mercy where we feel we may be parenting the wrong way.
Observing our children - To know our children, we need to observe them and
know how to respond to their live issues. Proverbs 20: 11-12 says that, “Even a
child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure or right. Ears that
hear and eyes that see, the Lord has made them both”. Observe and listen, and
you will discover your child as he acts and reacts, walks and talks, obeys and
disobeys.
Discipline - A parent is a partner with God in disciplining their children. Most of
us discipline our children the way our parents did to us through thorough beatings
and other aggressions. We are still suffering from both psychological and
physiological effects of those beatings. We need to break away from our parents’
methods and follow God’s methods. We need to teach our children good morals
and behaviors basing our reasons on the overriding principles of loving God.
Revelation 3:19, “those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and
repent”.

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Communicating with our children - The ability to listen actively to our children
is a precious gift. This sends the message that we care and value them. It also
helps us to grow closer to them and to learn about them. Also we are able to
affirm them by saying positive things to them. This builds their confidence and
are able to face life with a positive attitude. Philippians 1:3, “I thank God every
time I remember you”.
Being role models - As parents, we need to live by example; if we want our
children to apply the golden words in their lives, let them hear us apply them to
others and to them too. These include saying “I am sorry, Excuse me, Thank you,
Please and May I. Galatians 6: 7 reminds us that you reap what you sow.
Setting boundaries and limits - Let us learn to tell our children what they can
do not what they cannot do. By setting clear guidelines, our children are able to
avoid over stepping the boundaries and to know the consequences of going
against our wish. Limits without a loving relationship equals rebellion while as
limits within a living relationship equals respect.
Dealing with conflicts - Sibling rivalry is common in all families. When a child
loses control make sure you do not join him or her. Instead of yelling and
screaming at them, allow him or her to calm down and then discuss the situation.
Try to listen, to respond lovingly and work together to find lasting solutions. As
parents we also have bad days too. Let us avoid projecting our anger towards our
children but deal with our issues in the correct way.
Empathy - Our children have insecurities that make them feel bad about
themselves. Let us be their best support so that they can trust and share their
struggles with us. Let us plan to spend quality time with them and apply the love
languages that Father has taught us in an appropriate and loving way. We need to
see our children through God’s eyes.
Food for thought
A wise parent is also a bit short sighted and does not notice all the little mistakes
a child has made. Only the willing heart and the smiling face of the child who has
tried so hard to please them!

Lucy – CWC Counsellor

Assisted by Father Chisomo & CWC Admn. Team