The Difference between who and whom

Many English speakers do not know the difference between who and whom. In
some places, it hardly matters, because using who when you should use whom is
so common that it's not even considered much of a mistake. But for those who
want to know the difference between who and whom, here is an explanation.
 

Who

Who is an interrogative pronoun and is used in place of the subject of a question.

Who is going?

Who are you?

Is this who told you?

Who can also be used in statements, in place of the subject of a clause.

This is who warned me.

Jack is the one who wants to go.

Anyone who knows the truth should tell us.

Whom

Whom is also an interrogative pronoun, but it is used in place of the object of a

question.

Whom is this story about?

With whom are you going?

Whom did they tell?

And whom can be used in statements, in place of the object of a clause.

This is the man whom I told you about.

John is the man whom you met at dinner last week.

Whom is always the correct choice after a preposition.

The students, one of whom is graduating this year, failed the test.

Lisa is the girl with whom I'm driving to Maine.

 
The Bottom Line
The difference between who and whom is exactly the same as the difference
between I and me, he and him, she and her, etc. Who, like I, he, and she, is a
subject - it is the person performing the action of the verb. Whom, like me, him,
and her, is an object - it is the person to/about/for whom the action is being done.
Whom is also the correct choice after a preposition: with whom, one of whom, not
"with who, one of who."

Sometimes it helps to rewrite the sentence and/or replace who/whom with another
pronoun so that you can see the relationships more clearly.

This is who warned me > He warned me (not "him" warned me)

Jack is the one who wants to go > He wants to go (not "him" wants to go)

This is the man whom I told you about > I told you about him (not about "he")

Lisa is the girl with whom I'm driving to Maine > I'm driving to Maine with her (not
with "she")

"Who" is the subjective case and "whom" is the objective case. Don't mix these two up--
many writers get so confused between "who" and "whom" that they just give up and use
"who."* Just think about it--who does something, while something is done to whom.

For example, in the sentence, "Who bit the heads off all the Santa cookies??" who does
something. Who eats the heads off poor Santa.

In the sentence, "The man who gave me the gift seems to be expecting a thank-you
note," who does something. It refers to the man, and the man gave the gift. Therefore,
who is in the subjective case.

Now for whom. In "My friend to whom I sent a letter replied to me snappily," whom
refers to the friend, and I sent my friend the letter. So, the pronoun should be objective,
whom.

*In these common phrases, the who/whom pronoun is used wrong:

 Who are you talking to?

 Who are you looking at?
 Who are you kidding?