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Ella Maners’s fears were taking over her life — until she went to summer camp.
[Siren]
Ella Maners: — played the tornado siren. We re-did what happened when I got
sick. And we put two jackets on me.
Michael Barbaro: Wow.
Katie Maners: Everybody’s like, why two coats? Well, they really did try to create
the situation at school to really kind of put her back in that moment when she
was so fearful at school, and have her see, you can do this.
Ella Maners: I said, oh, no.
[Siren]
Ella Maners: The siren is getting louder and louder. Ocie started talking to me.
Ocie: There is going to be a tornado. There’s going to be a tornado.
Ella Maners: And I was like yes, there is. Yes, there is. Yes, there is. Yes, there is.
Ocie: Ow. No fair.
[Music]
Ella Maners: We kept doing it over and over again, and then it just kept getting
easier and easier. And then, the exposures for the day were, like, over.
Katie Maners: So after the first exposure, we moved to vomit. And of course, as
soon as we said that, Ella’s eyes got really big. It was like, wait. We’re already
going to do vomit? That’s one of the really hard ones. And so they explained
that we’re going to watch a video. And of course, her first response is like,
yeah, I don’t know about that.
Ella Maners:I rated it a 10.
Katie Maners: Do you mind if I play it?
Ella Maners: Yeah. I don’t care, really.
Archived Recording: [SINGING]
They showed me the “Pitch Perfect,” which started with a 10. I knew
something was going to happen. But I didn’t know when. Whenever I watch
“Pitch Perfect,” my heart races.
Julia Longoria: Right now?
Ella Maners: Yeah.
Julia Longoria: Really?
Ella Maners: Yeah.
Julia Longoria: I’m sorry. Do you want to stop doing this?
Ella Maners: I’m going — I want to keep going.
Julia Longoria: O.K.
Archived Recording: [SINGING]
Ella Maners: So, I saw the sign, and I opened up my eyes. I saw the — bleh.
Archived Recording: [PUKING] Oh, no. Holy —
Ella Maners: There’s just vomit shooting out of her mouth. So bad. It’s like —
[PANTING] But like, kids, it’s worth it.
Archived Recording: [SINGING]
Ella Maners: Ocie was like, you are going to get sick.
Ocie: You are going to get sick. You are going to get sick.
Ella Maners: So I was like, yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. And Ocie’s
like —
Ocie: O.K., fine. I give up.
Archived Recording: [SINGING]
Ella Maners: You realize that it wasn’t as scary as you thought. The more times I
watched it —
Archived Recording: [PUKING]
Ella Maners: — it helped better.
Katie Maners: After we left the room with the iPads, that is when we went to the
kitchen area and started the exposure of pretending to vomit up water.
Ella Maners: They took me to the sink, and we got water in our mouth, and then
we spit it out. But it would be kind of like we’d throw it up.
Michael Barbaro: So you kind of pretended to be throwing up?
Ella Maners: Yes, it was easy. ‘Cause I don’t know, it was just pretty easy on that.
And then we moved down to the bathroom, and that’s where everything got
trickier.
[Music]
Katie Maners: That definitely was hard. So these counselors grab a handful of the
really gross jelly beans that you play, like, Beanboozle with. So they taste like
vomit, or grass clippings, or whatnot. And I mean, God bless these counselors.
Because they’re the ones that ate the jelly beans, not Ella. Ella just had to
watch. And they chewed them up, and then pretended to vomit in the toilet.
Ella Maners: One girl almost actually kind of got sick, kind of was gagging.
Katie Maners: I don’t know if it was the taste of the jelly beans, or if it was just gag
reflex. But it really sounded like she got sick. And that’s when Ella just really
lost it. They were saying, O.K., Ella. Why don’t you look to see if she got sick?
And she did not want to look to see if she got sick.
Ella Maners: They would ask me my rating. I said 10. I refused to look in the
toilet. And I was crying, and my mom was crying.
Katie Maners I stepped out of the stall, because I think my emotion was upsetting
Ella more.
Ella Maners: She said, this is too much. Like, why?
Michael Barbaro: So Katie, it sounds like you’re starting to question this whole
exposure thing?
Katie Maners: Yes. I had doubts. Did we make the right decision doing this? Is
this really going to help her? And you know, I remember being outside, and
just going like, is this how it’s supposed to be? And they were like, yes. You
know, she’s — this is hard. This is going to be a hard moment for her. But she’s
going to have a moment in there where she realizes she can do this.
Ella Maners: I was like, why did I come to camp? This is not fun. My mom was
like, she’s not going to want to come back tomorrow. But they wouldn’t let me
leave. So I had to do it. So they took a picture with my mom’s phone.
Katie Maners: So they said, O.K. How about we take a picture, and you look at the
picture.
Michael Barbaro: Picture of?
Katie Maners: Of inside — I mean, you know, the toilet. And Ella wouldn’t look at
it at first, and covered her eyes, and they were like, Ella, let’s try to look at it.
Ella Maners: I looked at the picture inside the toilet.
Katie Maners: They said that she just kind of just stared at it, like, made herself
look at it. And she just eventually took two steps and —
Ella Maners: I looked inside the toilet, actually, without the picture.
Michael Barbaro: Hmm.
Ella Maners: They only made me look at it once. I was so scared. But it’s like,
worth it.
[Music]
Katie Maners: I was outside the bathroom talking with one of the doctors. And we
heard them cheering inside. Just Ella’s counselors, just going crazy in the
bathroom. And so we literally made, like, a tunnel for her to go through
coming out of the bathroom, and we all, like, cheered, and high-fived her. And
the first thing she did was come over to me and give me a big hug. Of course
she’s got kind of red eyes. And I was like, what was it like? She was like, I was
proud of myself. Like, I felt brave. And I hadn’t heard her say that in a really
long time.
Ella Maners: I felt really good after I did all these exposures. I felt good. I felt
happy. I felt brave. I felt everything, really.
Katie Maners: I’ve always said, you know, we will sit with you in the bottom of the
pit. And we’ll just get through it. We’ll get through it together. And at some
point, everybody’s going to be at the bottom of the pit. No one’s life is perfect.
And I think the younger they are, and can start learning to be there, and work
themselves back up, I mean, that’s an advantage. Ugh, sorry. It’s like, hard
months. So worth it. I mean, we’ve — gosh. She’s going to be an amazing adult.
Michael Barbaro: Ella, there are a lot of kids who have O.C.D.
Ella Maners: Yeah.
Michael Barbaro: There are also a lot of kids who have major fears, even if they
don’t have O.C.D. But most kids don’t go to a special camp to face their fears.
So what would you say to a kid like that? What kind of advice would you give
him or her?
Ella Maners: First, I would say hi. And then I would be like, just do kind of what I
do. Like, do strategies what I do. Or, like, say, yes, I am. Yes, I am. Kind of like
that. And hopefully it will get better.
Michael Barbaro: Do you think it took away those fears?
Ella Maners: No, sir. No.
Michael Barbaro: If you have these fears now, how are they different?
Ella Maners: They aren’t as scary.
[Music]
Michael Barbaro: Ella,I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you in this conversation
very much. And you’re very brave.
Ella Maners: Thank you? Thank you.
Michael Barbaro: Thank you. And thank you, Katie.
Katie Maners: Thank you.
Ella Maners: “The Daily” is made by Theo Balcomb, Andy Mills, Lisa Tobin,
Rachel Quester, Lynsea Garrison, Annie Brown, Clare Toeniskoetter, Paige
Cowett, Michael Simon Johnson, Brad Fisher, Larissa Anderson, Wendy Dorr,
Chris Wood, Jessica Cheung, Alexandra Leigh Young, Jonathan Wolfe, Lisa
Chow, Eric Krupke, Marc Georges, Luke Vander Ploeg, Adizah Eghan, Kelly
Prime, Julia Longoria, Sindhu Gnanasambandan, Jazmín Aguilera, M.J. Davis
Lin, Dan Powell, Austin Mitchell and Sayre Quevedo. And then our theme
music is from Jim Brunberg and Ben Landsverk of Wonderly.
Julia Longoria: Some of the music in this episode was composed by Alexander
Overington. And special thanks to Donna De La Cruz, who originally reported
this story.
Ella Maners: Special thanks to Sam Dolnick, Mikayla Bouchard, Stella Tan and
Julia Simon.
Julia Longoria: There’s, like, a huge team.
Ella Maners: Oh! O.K.
Julia Longoria: We all work together to make the show every day.
Michael Barbaro: That’s it for “The Daily.” I’m Michael Barbaro. See you
tomorrow.
Ella Maners: Vomit and tornadoes.
Julia Longoria: Talk right into the microphone.
Ella Maners: Vomit and tornadoes.
Julia Longoria: One more time.
Ella Maners: Vomit and tornadoes.
Julia Longoria: Sing it again.
Ella Maners: Vomiting and tornadoes. Cool