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THE UNSPOKEN EXPECTATION

OF EVERY COACH
There’s a good chance that you — like me — have been
lied to. Lied to by your teachers, by marketers, by your
clients, and even maybe by yourself.

Perhaps like me, you were told that what people wanted was to “get in shape”
and perhaps you’ve even spent years learning how to do that.

Programming, anatomy, energy systems, mobility: You’ve probably learned a

little bit of it all.

So perhaps like me, you were also confused when you helped a client “get in
shape” and thet were still unhappy or went looking for another coach or gym.

The bad news is you were lied to. Whether you train desk jockeys, construction
workers, suburban Mom’s, NFL players, or tennis pro’s — “getting in shape” is
rarely why they hire you.

The good news, is when you know what they’re actually hiring you to do and
you help them get it — your job of coaching becomes A LOT easier. You’ll find
that clients stick with you, even if they aren’t achieving their pipe dreams of
joining the NBA or becoming a bikini competitor.

Work becomes more like play. You stop taking on problems that you once
thought were yours to fix, and bringing them back home to your family.

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The Unspoken Expectations of your clients
No matter what your client’s goals are, there’s a reason they’ve chosen to work
with YOU above all of their other options.

Out of their options for getting in shape, they’ve chosen to work with you over:
trying to figure it out on their own at a gym, downloading a free program online,
getting a book about it, running on their own, doing dance classes, extreme
dieting, P90X, hypnosis, physical therapy, massage, yoga, and a thousand other
things.

But what’s more, they’re not just choosing you over other ways to get in shape,
they’re choosing you over: reading a book, watching Netflix, happy hour with
friends, going on a date, fixing up their house, going to their kids sports game,
eating a steak, and a million other places they could be.

No matter what your client’s goals are, there’s a reason

they’ve chosen to work with YOU above all of their other
options.

What is it about working with you that gives them what they’re looking for, when
a thousand other options exist for their lives or for “getting in shape”?

In my experience, clients who work directly with coaches do it because:

• They want someone to notice and care when they show up and when they
don’t.

• They want a place to go where they feel taken care of. (They spend the rest
of their day taking care of their kids, their jobs, their bills. They want a place
to go where someone is planning for and taking care of them.)

• They want someone who will know when it’s time for them to push them-
selves to achievable goals, but no so far that they feel incapable or defeated
— so they can build their self-esteem and confidence.

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 • They want attention: quick, live feedback about how they’re doing.

• They want to be seen and understood. (Otherwise, they’d choose something

that’s not live, dynamic, and two-way.)

• They want to have “fun”. In other words, they want something interesting
to do.

• They want to be around people who they want to be like, and be around:
especially when it feels like their family, coworkers, and friends are stagnant
or holding them back.

• They want to leave feeling better than when they came in.

It doesn’t matter if you have the perfect programming, the perfect gym, the
best music and logo, or even if you can get someone shredded: If you don’t give
clients these unspoken things — they will be unhappy, you will have a very hard
time as a coach, and your clients will leave.

You don’t have to get a degree in psychology:

While you have to provide these things to clients to become a great coach, you
don’t have to go back to school for psychology, somehow turn yourself into an
extrovert, or spend every session screaming, cheerleading, or high-fiving clients.

In fact, I’m naturally an introvert. I’m not a screamer (or clapper). I’m no
psychologist either.

You don’t have to start from scratch on these things, or rely on a lot of learning
or self-will. You just need a few tools and systems to get “good enough”.

In this book, you’ll find word-for-word scripts, suggestions on systems to set-up,

and a few creative ideas on how to implement these things into your coaching
practice — without reinventing the wheel.

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Which problem to fix first
(and how to use this book to fix it):
This book is broken into five sections. I suggest starting wherever your need is
the greatest as a coach or as a gym.

The Problem: Where to Start:

Tools You Can Use Today:
One pesky client who you dread How to refocus a client during a
training. session: When they show up grumpy,
stressed, or distracted.

Create Compliant Clients:

It feels like you have a “culture”
In the Gym
problem and almost all of your
Get them to show up on time, do
clients showing up late, or doing
their program, or stop doing that
something that annoys you.
annoying thing.

Create Compliant Clients:

Your clients aren’t getting great
Outside the Gym
results because of what they do
How to shrink and motivate change,
outside of the gym.
so that your clients will actually do it.

Your clients feel “meh” about their Keeping Clients Happy:

results or you aren’t getting any Keep them coming back and get
referrals. them to bring their friends.

One INSANE client: You’ve tried

Emergency Ripcords:
everything and complained to
For when you’ve tried everything
everyone you know (and your dog)
else, and your client still sucks.
about one particular client.

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 Tools You
CAN Use Today
How to refocus a client during a session when
they show up grumpy, stressed, or distracted.

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How to refocus a client during a sessioN
when they show up grumpy, stressed,
or distracted.
Most coaches think that getting a client great results is entirely dependant on
the physical movement they do. Sets, reps, weights, time under tension — and
that’s it. But science is showing us that’s only part of the picture.

What we’re learning is that the “chemical landscape” that a client or athlete
shows up in greatly impacts the training adaptation that occurs that day.

So when they’re in a great mood, they enjoy training, they perceive you to
be qualified, competent, and able to help them achieve their goals — BOOM!
They’re going to have great adaptations and get great results.

On the flip side — if they come in in a crappy mood, they hate the training, and
they think you’re just some punk who doesn’t know how to train or coach their
way out of a wet paper bag — you’re both screwed.

Most coaches think that getting a client great results is

entirely dependant on the physical movement they do.

You could write the perfect program from a biomechanics or physiology

perspective and you’re still not going to be successful with them.

Think about it like this: we’ve all seen the trainer out there who has no clue what
he’s doing.

His clients are literally doing the dumbest stuff on Earth (and sometimes, all of
his clients are doing the same friggin’ thing). But the crazy thing is, they love him
and they keep coming back!

Don’t believe me? Well let me tell you about way back when - when I was that
trainer!

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 And a lot of these people had dealt with knee pain, back pain, or shoulder pain
for an extended period of time before I started working with them.

I honestly had no clue what I was doing. I look back at those old programs now
and cringe.

But here’s where things get murky - you’d expect me to have awful outcomes,
and all of my patients to never get better.

Yet I had really good outcomes, and almost all of my patients got better. How
can that be the case?

I firmly believe that I got by initially on my people skills, motivation and

psychology - until my training skills “caught up”.

Now, it won’t make up for bad programming — but if your clients like you,
and if you can help them refocus from bad moods, they’ll get a better training
adaptation as a result. And that’s your job.

So let’s cover some tools you can start using TODAY to re-focus clients, and start
building better relationships.

Start every session by asking, “How are you feeling today?”

I love this question, as it’s open-ended and can go into multiple directions.

If they’re sore and beat-up, they can describe to you what’s hurting - and you
can amend on the fly.

If they’re tired and stressed out, you can talk about that - and again, adjust the
program as you see fit.

But the most important aspect of all this is that it opens the lines of
communication right off the bat.

You have no clue what state of mind your client is in at this very moment, or how
their day is gone, so this allows you to start connecting with them immediately,
and getting an idea as to where they’re at mentally and physically.

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When they’re grumpy or stressed :
There’s an old adage that goes “If a hundred pigeons fly overhead, you only
remember the one that poops on you.”

In any given day, maybe a hundred things happen to us, but for most us, it’s the
parts of our day that are crappy that we focus on and share. It’s human nature.
When a client has a bad day, it’s okay to let them be grumpy initially. They want
to be seen and heard.

When they recount all the pigeons that pooped on them during the day, your
job is to hear them, and to help them refocus.

Do this by:

1. Acknowledging it sucks. (Don’t try to tell them it doesn’t. You’re not helping.)

2. Sharing back how you imagine that might affect their workout.

3. Re-focus by telling them how you’re going to address it in their time with
you.

Here’s an example:

Stressed Client: Everyone is sick in my family. My kid threw-up on me. I haven’t

slept at all.

You: Man, that sounds like a rough day. (Acknowledging it sucks.) It sounds like
you’re tired and maybe a little overwhelmed. (Sharing how that might affect
their workout.) Today, you’ve got XYZ planned for your workout. Because you’ve
had a rough day, I want us to really focus on quality of movement today — and
we’ll see how much we get through while really focusing on that. (Re-focusing on
how you’re going to address it in their time with you.)

Or if someone is grumpy or angry:

Grumpy client: I had this co-worker today do XYZ, and I can’t believe it. And I got
cut-off on the way to work here. And there was no parking.t

You: Oof. That sounds crappy. I hate getting cut off too. (Acknowledging it sucks).
Because you’re fired-up today, I think we can actually use it to our advantage.
(Sharing how that might affect their workout.) Today, you’ve got XYZ planned for

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 your workout. Because you’re a little more activated today, I want us to focus
that energy and channel it to strength — let’s see what it does for your power
okay? (Re-focusing on how you’re going to address it in their time with you.)

The magic is, that after 20 minutes of physical activity, the brain is going to start
pumping them full of feel good chemicals. So even if they’re grumping com-
ing in, if you hear and acknowledge them, and make them feel cared for by
re-directing it into the workout — they’re almost guaranteed to leave feeling
better than when they came in. So let’s cover some tools you can start using
TODAY to re-focus clients, and start building better relationships.

Overcoming “I can’t” and “I don’t” and “I won’t”:

Unfortunately, not every client and athlete feels great and is ready to train every
day. And frankly, I can empathize here - because there are days when I don’t feel
great or don’t want to train myself!

However, what this can’t become is a permission slip to back out of the
training session. Sure, there are times when you should just send them home
(i.e. if they’re sick), but often we can find something to do to make them feel
better.

• If a certain body part hurts, find ways to work around it.

• If the knee hurts, perform more hip dominant exercises.

• If the shoulder hurts, put more emphasis on the lower body.

If they’re stressed out and beat up, have them foam roll, breath, warm-up, and
maybe do 20-30 minutes of light cardio.

Or create a small circuit they can go through.

Because here’s the really important part of this: If a client has an objection and
you’re just like “Ok whatever see you later,” that’s honestly not what they want
or need.

Remember, they’re paying you to care about whether or not they show up, and
to push them to achievable goals.

They need someone to check them and to help them adjust their course. If you

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So what do you do when you hear a barrier like:

• I can’t do that, my knee hurts.

• I won’t do that, because I forgot my shoes.

• I can’t, because I only have 20 minutes (because I’m 40 minutes late).

• I don’t want to do that (for whatever reason).

When a client points out a barrier, respond with “Okay. Let’s figure out what
we CAN do today.”

When you take the time to figure out a work around and you hold them
accountable, you grow your trust and rapport with your clients.

So please, don’t take an objection or issue as simply “I don’t want to work out.”

Instead, use it as an opportunity to grow your rapport with the person standing
in front of you, that desperately wants and needs your help (even if they don’t
know it yet).

What to do when they’re distracted:

Now there are also times when things are going off the rails, and you need to
focus on the task at hand (i.e. the training session).

In this case, finding an objective way to move things along can really help. This is
why I always have a stopwatch or timer around, to let them know “Hey, it’s time
to do our next set!”

This does two things:

1. It takes the pressure off of YOU being the one telling them to keep moving.
(It’s not you, it’s the timer. And the timer is totally objective.)

2. Sometimes when someone is just in the zone or processing something, their

perception of time is just off. A gentle reminder from the timer (and me),
that hey, it’s time to do the next set gets us off and running again.

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 Call out the bright spots
Clients and athletes are unaware (or unrealistic) about how progress really
works. They assume that things are linear, and if they aren’t making progress
each and every session, that something is wrong (or they’re not getting better).
Instead, we know that progress looks a lot more like the stock market than a
straight line. There are ups and downs on a day-to-day or week-to-week ba-
sis. But over the long haul, there’s an upward trend. But on a day-to-day ba-
sis, your client might not see it. What’s more, it’s easier to move TOWARDS
something than it is to move away from it. By calling out what clients are doing
well, they’re more likely to do more of it (and the opposite can also be true - fo-
cusing on what’s not working, can sometimes magnify it.). So, call out the bright
spots:

• They showed up (and maybe on time even)

• They’ve come in consistently

• They’ve learned a new skill

• They’ve gotten stronger

• They’re moving better

Even if your client is having the worst session of their life, the fact that they’re
there is a bright spot. Calling that out, will help them re-focus on the work ahead.

End every session by asking, “When am I going to see you

next?” (or “I’ll see you next Tuesday, right”?)
This question is great from both a compliance and a rapport perspective. But I’m
adding it to your tools you can use today because when clients come in grumpy
or stressed, hearing that we want to see them again does two things:

1. It shows them we do actually to see them again, and we’re committed to

sticking with them through their grumpy moods — so they feel cared for
even if they had a bad session.

2. It helps them commit to their next training session as soon as they’re done
with the current one.

If you truly care about people, they’re going to want to keep coming back.

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Creating Compliant
Clients: In the Gym
Get them to show up on time, do their program,
a keep focused on long-term goals.

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 If you’re noticing that you have more than a few clients who struggle with
showing up on time, or constantly want a new shiny workout (and they can’t
stay focused on their goals from month to month), chances are the problem is
one of the following things:

1. Having clear expectations.

2. Connecting your expectations back to their goals.

3. Communicating your expectations clearly.

We’ll cover the basics of each.

Having clear expectations:

Before we even look at what our clients are doing, we need to figure out what
we expect them to do. (And we need to make sure those expectations are
achievable, both for them, and for us.)

If you expect your client to show up on time, warmed-up, and ready to workout:
you better be there 20 minutes early with the doors unlocked, lights on, and
music cranked to welcome them.

If you expect your clients to stick to a program for 3 months, best believe you
better have done something similar yourself.

Too often, I hear coaches complain that clients aren’t showing up on time, or
are program-hopping, or are complaining too much; only to watch as the coach
shows up late, is working on his 20th program this year (and is talking to all her
clients about it), and is complaining themselves.

Whatever YOU do is what your clients will default to.

In a coaching relationship, you are the first and foremost example and leader.
YOU set the culture.

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Below are some questions to answer before moving forward. They don’t
encapsulate every expectation that needs to be set, but it is a great start.

Take 10 minutes right now, to answer the following:

• When should your clients show up?

• When they arrive, should the be changed and warmed up? If not, is that
accounted for in their time with you?

• What do you expect of them while they’re working out? How should the
behave? (Is talking allowed? Breaks? Ideally how do they interact with other
clients?)

• Do they need to put weights away, or is that something you do?

• Do they need to clean machines, or is that something you do?

• Do they need to write down their sets, reps, and weights, or is that

• something you do?

• Ideally: If they are unsure if an exercise will hurt or not, what should they
do?

• Ideally: If they’re grumpy or stressed, what should they do?

• Ideally: if they’re sick, what should they do?

• How far in advance does a client need to book to come in? What happens if
it’s later than that? What happens if it’s an emergency? What happens if it’s
an “emergency” every week?

• How far in advance do they need to cancel?

• When they cancel, in less time than you expect, will they be charged?

• Where should they put their clothes and bags?

• How long should they stick to a program?

• What should they do if they have complaints about a program or want a

new one?

• When do they get new programs?

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 You can print off a pdf of these questions to fill out by clicking here.

Now, if there’s something you’re constantly annoyed about, that isn’t encapsu-
lated in these questions - make sure you write out your expectations around
how that behavior would ideally be different before moving forward.

Connecting your expectations (and your

programming) back to their goals:
Most coaches think “If I want my client to show up on time, I need to tell
them”. It’s not that it’s wrong, it’s just that we’re often missing a step.
How often have you gone straight to telling someone to do something, and
they’ve actually done it? Almost never without connecting it to why it’s
important to them.

In this day and age of social media, everyone is interested in talking. Whether
it’s Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, it’s all about putting your message out there.

But how many people are really listening?

As a coach and trainer, being able to deeply listen to your clients and athletes is
a skill you absolutely must cultivate.

You need to listen to what their goals are, what is driving these goals, and what’s
holding them back. You can also use the 5 Why exercise to get deep on the
drivers behind their dreams, goals and aspirations.

This exercise is simply continuing to ask “Why” until you get to the heart of the
issue. recommend adding it to your initial intake form, putting it in your next
reassessment.

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It works like this:

Client​: “I want to lose 20 pounds.”

You​: “Why do you want to lose 20 pounds?”

Client​: “I want to look good for my 20th class reunion.”

You:​ “Why is looking good for your reunion important to you?”

Client​: “I just got divorced and my high school crush is going,

and I want to look good.”

As you can see, this goes deep quickly. Which is why sometimes it’s easier to
have a client do this on paper.

Here’s a PDF you can print out and use.

Things like this will help you have a deeper understanding of their goals, and
the true motivations behind them. You can then use this to help motivate them
both in and out of your training sessions.

And beyond simply listening, it’s important to empathize and help them
understand that you’re truly listening to them.

Take their statements and repeat is back to them in your own words.
When they’re having a bad day, let them know that you’re human and have bad
days too.

Sometimes it’s not even about the training - it’s just

truly connecting with another human being and
making them feel like someone cares.
It sounds so simple, but I guarantee you, it’s arguably the most powerful tool in
your toolbox.

And once you know their deeper motivation, you can use it to communicate
expectations.

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 Communicating clear expectations (while
including their goals)
Often, we assume that people know how to act, or how we want them to engage
with us. But have you ever been explicit and clear in telling them what to do?

One of my goals when first meeting a new client or athlete is to be as clear and
concise as possible. I tell them exactly what I expect, and one of those things is
to get there at the appropriate time (15 minutes early) and start rolling out so
we can get their session going on time,

On the flip side, I find the times I have the most issues with clients and or
athletes is when I (me - not someone else - ME) haven’t made my expectations
clear or I haven’t told them why I have an expectation.

But you don’t need to read the entire 500+ page book on motivational
interviewing to master this (although you can if you want). In fact, there’s a
pretty easy formula for communicating expectations that yields the best results:

Here’s what’s currently happening + Here’s what I’d like to happen instead +
Here’s why doing it differently is going to positively impact you (or why you
have that expectation).

Here’s some expectation setting examples:

The always late client:

“Great session today. We got started later than I’d like to, and next week,
I’d like to have you hear at 4:45, so that you can change, warm-up, and
be ready to go at 5pm when our session starts. That way, we have every
minute together possible to help get you ready for your reunion, because
I have a hard-stop at 6pm. Is that something you can make work for you
or is the time of day an issue?”

If someone is constantly late, don’t address it when they show up late (the
damage is already done), address it at the end of their session before their
next session. And make sure to connect it back to their bigger motivation. Also,
if it’s a scheduling issue, asking if there’s a better time might solve the issue in
short-order.

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The client who doesn’t put things away:

“Before hopping to the next set, I’d love the squat rack to be cleared. It’ll
give your heart rate a chance to cool down, and because everyone here
looks up to you, it’ll help set the standard for everyone.”

The client who constantly cancels last minute for no good reason:

“Hey, over the past month, I’ve noticed you’ve been cancelling sessions
on the same day a lot. In the future, I’d like at least a 48 hour notice so
that we have time to find a better slot that works for you, so we can keep
you moving towards getting in shape for your reunion. It also helps make
sure I’m available to the clients who are able to come. So that we’re on
the same page, moving forward I’ll have to charge you for the session if

If you have clear expectations, that you yourself are upholding, and you
communicate your expectations to them clearly (and using why it’s important to
them) and they’re STILL late, or not putting away their things, it may be time for
a talk about whether they’re a good fit for you as a coach.

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 Create Compliant
Clients: Outside
the Gym
How to shrink and motivate change, so that your
clients will actually do it.

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While getting clients to do what you ask in the gym is great, if they’re sleeping
3 hours per night and stuffing their face with Haagen-Dazs ice cream, they’re
probably not going to get great results when they’re with you.

I like to call this the 23:1 rule:

We have 1 hour a few times per week in the gym to make them better; but they
have 23 hours to go and screw that up!

So while you definitely want your clients to be compliant when you’re in the
gym, perhaps the most impactful part of all this is getting them to do what you
want outside of the gym as well.

Are You Practicing What You Preach?

When I first got started in this industry, I had a fellow coach tell me that if you
wanted to be a great coach, then your had to lead your clients by example.
You have push yourself in the gym, you have stay consistent when you’re busy,
you have to do your mobility drills even when all you want to do is lift heavy.

“Athletes can smell weakness” he told me. Your clients are no different.

• Do you want them to work out 3 times per week?

• Eat a healthy and nutritious diet?

• Prep their meals?

• Sleep 7-9 hours per night?

Great! But before you ask them to do that, can you say that you do all those
thing yourself?

Listen, it’s annoying to hear that. No one wants to look at themselves. And I can
relate.

But here’s the deal, it’s about more than leading by example. You need to know
the challenges, excuses, and things that have worked for YOU in order to teach
them to other people.

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 If you aren’t there yet, you can’t expect to help your clients get there either.

But if you can be a busy coach and STILL workout and eat well consistently,
you’ll know what things you’ve encountered yourself, so you can help guide
others through it.

And no matter how good you are at taking care of yourself right now, practicing
trying to change a habit yourself will make you a better coach.

Exercise to try right now, no matter how good you are already:

1.) What’s the ONE thing, that if different, would make your health and fitness
better?

2.) When picking that ONE thing, what barriers and excuses does your brain
come up with for why you can’t do that thing right now?

For example: My ONE area to improve is almost always sleep. As soon as I

call out that I need more sleep, immediately my brain comes up with a list of
reasons I can’t get more sleep:

• My kids got sick, I couldn’t help that.

• I have too much work to do.

• I need facebook on my phone to reply to clients (conveniently ignoring that

it doesn’t mean I need to respond to them at 11:30pm).

3.) What could you do today, to make the thing you chose 1% better? Not 90%,
not even 10%, but 1% better?

4.) Now try doing it, and notice what happens.

The bottom line is this: If you want to get the most out of your clients and
athletes, make sure you are taking care of yourself in all of these areas as well.
So that

• You know the challenges and how to overcome them intimately

• You’re a model they can look up to and an excuse killer — (If Mike can do it
with 2 kids, and 80 hours of work a week, I can too).

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“Win-Stacking” of Habit Change
A lot of science has come out about habit change, and what people need in
order to do it. But you’re not here to get a degree in psychology, you’re here to
get wins for your clients.

Years of experience have shown me that there best way to do that for a client, is
by “win-stacking”. Meaning, you get them small wins, that add up.

Here’s how: There are four main areas of habit-change that clients need:

1. Training

2. Nutrition

3. Recovery

4. Mindset

Training is the easiest, because 99% of the time they’re following YOUR
programming.

The other three areas are where the real craft of coaching comes in. Your job as
a coach, is to find the first “win” by asking probing, open-ended questions to find
out which area they have the least resistance to​.

In the first 3 sessions as a coach, you need to discover

their first “Win” by asking these open-ended questions:

• Nutrition:

• Tell me a little bit about your nutrition…

• What did you have for breakfast/lunch/dinner?

• Do you typically have sit down, planned meals, or are they rushed and
whatever you can get?

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 • Recovery:

• What’s your sleep like these days?

• Do you feel like you’re getting enough?

• How’s your energy throughout the day?

• Mindset:

• What was the best part of your day today?

• What are you looking forward to this week, outside of the gym?

When you ask these questions, you need to listen to more than the words
coming out of their mouth. You dial in to their non-verbal reactions to under-
stand where there’s resistance and discomfort versus trust and openness.

Signs they’re willing, ready, and able to change a habit:

• They look you in the eye when they answer (which demonstrates
honesty and/or a clear line of thinking),

• The pace of their speech picks up (which shows excitement),

• They talk with their hands, and/or are more energetic (again,
excitement), and

• The generally sound positive and enthusiastic.

Signs they’re resistant, shameful, or uncomfortable:

• They look away from you (or down at the ground) when they answer
(which demonstrates they’re unclear, or potentially being unhonest with
you).

• They stammer or struggle to find words to explain their thoughts (lack

of clarity of thought, or a potentially touchy subject).

• They’re lethargic or sluggish (which could mean they’re feeling

resistance or unenthusiastic about this area).

• The generally sound negative and unenthusiastic and can only find
barriers.

24
Here’s where most coaches go wrong: They they try to change the things clients
are the most resistant to first.

Don’t do it. You’re setting yourself and your client up for failure.

We’re well intentioned when we do it: We know that they aren’t going to start
seeing results until they stop eating burgers and fries every night for dinner.

But before you can tackle the big stuff, you need to build their confidence
that they can do small stuff. Every time they have a “win” their likelihood of
succeeding with the next, harder, habit is “stacked”.

So when you ask those questions, look for signs that they feel open and willing
to talk.

Chances are, when you’re just starting out, their first “win” will be improving
something that they’re already pretty good at.

But this is where it starts. It’s like cracking a jammed window — it’s a lot easier
if there’s a small crack in it, so you can get the leverage you need to pop that
sucker open.

Shoving Your Fingers in the Window Crack:

Now that you’ve found your first “win” and the window is cracked it’s time to get
your fingers in there and try to open that sucker up a little bit more!

Once again, we do it by asking questions.

(Take note: Have you noticed that I ask a lot of questions of my

clients? The heart of coaching is in asking questions, understanding the
answers, and adapting your plan based on it. Most coaches believe a
good coach magically has the right thing to say. Skilled coaches know that
you can only have the right thing to say — if you’ve been asking the right
questions all along.)

25
 So you’ve got your path of least resistance. Now, you need to ask your client to
make it 10% better.

Ask: “How confident are you - let’s say on a scale of 1-10 - that you could X”.

If they’re less than “7” (with 10 being absolutely confident), then scale back the
habit change until they’re a 7 or above.

For example:

Nutrition

• How confident are you that you could eat a serving of veggies at every meal?

• How confident are you that you could eat a serving of protein at every meal?

• How confident are you that you could drink a glass of water at every meal?

• How confident are you that you could take a multivitamin at every meal?

Recovery

• How confident are you that you could get 9 hours of sleep each night?

• How confident are you that you could sleep for an extra HOUR a night?

• How confident are you that you could leave your phone out of your room
at night?

How confident are you that you could leave the tv off in your room at night?

Mindset

• How confident are you that you could set quarterly goals for your training
and life?

• How confident are you that you could meditate for 3 minutes a day?

26
My man John Berardi and his Precision Nutrition certification does a brilliant job
of this; they realize that habit change is all about finding the area we have the
least resistance to, using it to build momentum, and then building and layering
from there.

When you find something they’re open to addressing, and they feel confident
that they can do it: Ask them directly to do it.

“Ok, Carrie, you’re already doing awesome on your sleep — Are you willing to
commit to focusing on making it just 1% better this week by leaving your phone
out of your room at night?”

Get them to commit to you.

Don’t progress too quickly!

I’ve tried to layer stuff every week or two in the past, and it just doesn’t stick.
Just when that person is getting in a routine with one habit, you’re trying to add
another habit on top.

Instead, I find a month (30 days) works well for most

people - and they’ll more likely to stick with it for the
long haul going forward.

27
 How to Maximize Change on a Minimal
Training Budget
In most cases, we’d assume that the ideal client is one that we can have 3-4
times per week,every week.

After all, frequency is a huge deal - the more often I can work with someone
in the gym, that means I also have more time to coach them up on what to do
outside of the gym.

So yes, increasing frequency with a client is a huge advantage over only seeing
them once or twice a week.

But what about clients that can’t work you very often?

• Maybe it’s not in their budget.

• Maybe they live really far away.

• Or maybe they just have a lot of other goals and priorities beyond working
out!

Getting someone to train more outside of the time they’re with you can be
incredibly tough, especially for the client who is hiring you to help improve
accountability.

If at all possible, start by finding something they enjoy doing. If it’s an actual
workout, great!

But if not, what else do they enjoy? Walking? Biking? Swimming? Hiking?

When I’m bringing the topic up, I may something simple like:

“Besides working out, what other types of activities do you enjoy doing?”

Another simple lead-in question might be:

“What sports did you play growing up?”

28
Many times, my clients have some sort of physical activity they genuinely enjoy
doing, but just haven’t kept up with it over the years.

If I can find something they have a low resistance to, I’m more likely to get them
to do it without me having to push. (Remember our crack in the window? This
same approach works great here as well!)

But this leads to a really big point: I’m not necessarily looking for big wins
here. I don’t need them crushing workouts on their off-days to make them
feel like they’re successful.

Little things like taking a walk with their spouse, or going on a bike ride with
their kids not only helps them physically, but often emotionally and psychologi-
cally as well. It gets the momentum moving in the right direction, and then I can
(potentially) add more to their plate from there.

So here’s a big point: Focus on consistency first.

Get them to check that box of “doming something” as often as possible, even if
it’s only 10-20 minutes. I will typically lead each training session with a few ques-
tions:

1. How are you feeling today?

2. Have you had any time to walk/jog/swim/bike/whatever?

If they are consistent in doing this for 1-2 months, then I’ll add. But here’s the
really cool thing:

If they’ve been consistent in exercising on their own, chances are they’ve

alreadystarted to layer and build from it on their own!

It’s like once they get in the routine, that 10-20 minute walk becomes easy and
they naturally want to do more.

This is a key shift in mindset, it’s gone from something they have to do, to some-
thing they get to do.

Use their own momentum and excitement to your advantage.

29
 Keeping Clients
Happy
Keep them coming back and get them to bring
their friends.

30
Like you, a big part of my job is keeping my clients happy.

Whether it was my high-end in-home clients that I trained a decade ago, or the
elite athletes I’m working with today, these people have a lot of resources — if
I’m not keeping them happy, they can always find someone else to train them.

Besides, it’s not like I’m winning by being the cheapest option, or the best
looking (I wish!).

So just like you, I have to keep my clients happy to keep them coming back.

I have to keep the wins coming, and I need to bring my “A-Game” each and every
day.

And if I do a really good job, they might even tell their friends about me.

How to give them a “good workout” even

when you’re focused on quality (and they
just want to sweat or be sore).
One of the biggest issues we have in our industry is not explicitly connecting
everything we do in the gym, back to our client’s goals.

(I’m not throwing stones here, because there was a time when my programming
house was made out of glass! More on this below…)

Time and time again, I’ve seen coaches who are focused on quality get a new
client wants to lose weight or gain muscle.

The client comes in with low self-esteem and poor body image, and it’s taken
everything that have to muster up the courage to come in for help.

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 While it may be true, it creates an immediate disconnect, because they don’t
think you’re listening to what their goals are.

I’ve made this mistake myself in the past. We’ve actually lost potential clients
in the past because people assume that just because we focus on quality
movement, good breathing patterns, etc., that they don’t actually get to “work
out”.

So first and foremost, let me say this - getting someone to breathe and move
better does NOT preclude you from also giving them a kick-ass workout.

For starters, breathing is only one part of a good program and it shouldn’t take
more than 3-5 minutes of your session.

When you focus on quality and breathing, connect it back to their goal:

“Jake, I put in 3 minutes of breathing exercises because YOU want to focus on

weight loss.

Doing these breathing exercises, even for 3 minutes, is going to get your body in
the best position to lift hard the rest of your session - and keep you from hurting
your back.”

What a failed training session looks like, Mike Robertson Style:

Back in the day when we were really interested in resets, our programming
absolutely reflected that. We might have people doing 4-5 different exercises,
each of which took 3-4 minutes to perform.

If you’re doing the math at home, that’s somewhere between 12 and 20 minutes
just for breathing and resets!

As you can imagine, that’s bordering on ridiculous. I’m all for helping someone
move and feel better, but at the same time, I never want them to feel like they’re
broken or in physical therapy.

In fact, I knew I’d gone too far when some of my most loyal clients (ones that
had been with me FOR YEARS) told me that we were taking too long doing
resets before we got going.

Point taken.

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Now, instead of using a huge volume of reset exercises, now we’ve really stripped
this down to the essentials.

I may choose 1-2 resets and we perform 2 sets of 5 breaths each. The whole
process generally takes less than 3 minutes.

And the best part of all this? I get 80% of what I want in about 20% of the time!

Even if you do have to hold back a bit during the “lifting” portion of the workout,
you can still find ways to help someone feel great about their session.

• Slow the tempos down

• Focus on technique

• Work on loading the right muscles.

• At the end of a session choose high-intensity conditioning options that

won’t beat them up, but will get them the endorphin rush they’re looking
for.

Some of my favorite tools for finishing sessions are the fan bike, a SkiErg, and
battling ropes.

All of them are fantastic choices for getting the heart rate up, the endorphins
flowing, and giving them that “feeling” that they just had an awesome training
session.

Now when our clients leave they’re raving about how they got a great workout,
and oh, by the way, they can’t believe how good their body feels as well.

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 The secret to being “likeable”:
Every coach in the history of ever has dealt with clients that won’t stop
talking.

Sometimes it’s just legit banter, and other times it’s just bitching and
moaning about how their job blows, their wife is awful, and everything about
life sucks.

But here’s a serious truth bomb that you might not want to hear:

EVERY coach deals with this, at every level. It’s part of the game.

I do. My staff does. Every other trainer and coach on the face of the planet
deals with it as well.

And you know what? It’s probably only going to get worse!

The world today is focused on talking and nobody listening. Want proof? Just
look at social media - it’s legitimately an outlet for people to feel as though
they’re getting heard.

So you can read that, and it can piss you off, and you can complain about
how awful our profession is and how crappy your clients are.

OR, you can choose the road less traveled and

become a great listener.

If you can become a great listener, this is THE FAST TRACK to your success.
And not just in training, but in life.

I’m often reminded of a story that Jay Abraham (a very successful business
coach/entrepreneur) tells about a man he met in a bar one night.

34
For numerous hours, Jay simply asked this guy open-ended questions about
himself. And as you can imagine, the man obliged by telling this stranger in a bar
what amounted to his life story.

And at the end of the night? The guy couldn’t stop talking about how much he
liked Jay and enjoyed his time with him.

There’s a really key point here: Often times just asking people to talk about
themselves will get them to like you!

And when they like you, they’ll trust you more, buy-in to what you do more, and
they’ll keep coming back.

So figure out what they’re excited about in life, outside of the gym.

• Maybe it’s wine.

• Maybe it’s sports.

• Maybe it’s politics and finances.

If you don’t necessarily find that stuff interesting, you may have to learn about
it outside of the gym to carry a conversation.

At the very least, asking questions:

• What originally got you interested in X?

• What advice would you give to a beginner about X?

• What books/journals/educational materials would you have someone

follow to learn more about X?

What you’ll often find is that simply showing an active interest and enthusiasm
in their topics of interest will help to break down barriers and really open the
lines of communication.

And again, if they enjoy having you around, and enjoy the conversation that
goes on in between the sets and reps, they’re more likely to keep you around
for the long haul.

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 How to Destroy “Shiny Workout Syndrome”
(and keep them happy with your programming).
Keeping a client focused and on task can be incredibly tough these dates,
especially when they’re often inundated with so many shiny “new workouts”
on instagram, facebook, and infomercials.

The best things you can do is constantly educate your clients and athletes
about the WHAT and WHY:

• Here’s what the general theme of this program is.

• Here’s how it plays into YOUR short and long-term goals.

• Here’s why I have each type of exercise and again, how it relates to
YOUR goals.

This point is incredibly important, and can’t be glossed over:

Just because you know why you programmed some-

thing, doesn’t mean they do!

Here’s a practical example from my own life. Nikki is someone I’ve trained
over the past six months, and one of her primary goals is to build a great
looking butt (sound familiar?).

That’s all fine and dandy, but here’s the thing: Due to the posture and
position she’s in (a massive anterior tilt, no abs, etc.) building a butt would
be a real struggle for her unless we optimized her posture and position first.

To do this, we focused on a lot of core engaged exercises.

We slowed down her tempos and got her to feel the right muscles.

36
And I had to put her in positions (tall-kneeling, half-kneeling, etc.) that don’t
necessarily make you “feel” like you’re working hard. So how did I sell her on
this process?

I had to tell her the what​and the why​:

“I understand your goal is to build a great butt. Your posture right now won’t
allow you to properly load your butt muscles and that’s your limit-
ing factor. We’re going to take the next training block or two and ad-
dress that - we’re going to get your hips underneath you, build you a
strong set of abs, and put your butt muscles in the right position to work.
Now we’ll work on your butt muscles the whole time - and you’ll probably feel
them more than you ever have before! But until we get you in the right position,
some of the exercises you’ve seen in the past simply won’t work best for you.”

So I really did three things here:

1. I let her know that I understood her goal,

2. I gave her the short and long-term vision of her program, and how it would
help her achieve her goal, and

3. I reframed this and gave her a target (1-2 months) to bear with me with me
while we worked on different stuff.

Doing this allowed me to get a tremendous amount of buy-in from her, and
she’s even getting complimented on how her butt looks now, which is a true
win-win in my world!

37
 How to use assessments, to keep up client
momentum, and re-sell them:
If you want to keep people around for the long haul, I think it’s important to
constantly steer them back towards their big rocks or goals.

For example, let’s say someone’s goal is to lose 50 pounds. Over the first two
months they lose 10-15 pounds, which is great.

But in that third month, they either see no progress, or even start to back
slide a bit.

Something we do at IFAST is quarterly re-assessments. In our case it’s a blend

of Q&A and orthopedic/athletic testing, but what it essentially boils down to
is a non-training check-in where we can see if they’re still on track to meet
their goals.

Often times, people simply lose track of their goals over time. Life gets in the
way, or something comes up at work, etc.

After your initial assessment, tell them that you always

do a quarterly re-assessment with them.

The fact that you do an assessment at all (and then a reassessment on top of
it), will have you standing out from the crowd.

But this also gives you time to sit down with them (again, outside of a training
session) to see where they’re at, open up the lines of communication, and
figure out what the next steps are to helping them achieve their goals.

38
Sometimes, people quit training just because they feel lost, or as though they’re
no longer on the right path.

This quarterly re-assessment allows you to sit down with them, figure out where
their heads are at, and then address any objections that may have come up
along the way.

Unfortunately, you can’t simply “sell” someone once and have them stay clients
forever. In fact, I’m a big believer that you’re selling what you do each and every
day you’re on the gym floor with them!

But the quarterly re-assessment gives you time to touch base with them on a
regular basis, and to ensure that all of their needs are being met.

How to use assessments to get clients to

notice progress:
Getting a client to notice progress (especially early-on when you’re focused
solely on breathing, posture, and injury prevention) can be tough.

This is where your assessment process is huge. If you can’t point to where they
started, you can’t point out how far they’ve come.

This is crucial in both the short-term when they’re doing a lot of movement
quality, and the long-term, when they’ve hit a goal but are plateauing.

So your assessment needs to contain things that YOU want to see improve, and
the things that THEY want to see improve:

Do they walk in in pain? Or do they demonstrate poor mobility?

Check their shoulder and hip motion. Check their toe touch.

39
 Do they want to improve their body comp?

In this case, I’ll typically track three different areas:

• Total inches: Arms, chest, waist, hips, thighs

• Scale weight

• Body fat

The reason I pick three is simple: It hedges my bets and gives me a positive
talking point. For instance, we all know that when someone embarks on a weight
loss program, they may not lose scale weight right off the bat.

And what’s worse, they may actually gain weight!

However, I can get a subjective by asking how their clothes fit (which is generally
the first indicator), and then combine that with their body comp or inches lost.
Generally, at least one of those will be in my favor.

Tracking all three of these allows me to show them something positive each
week, and allows me to keep dangling the carrot to keep them motivated and
on track.

Do they want to improve their athletic performance?

If they’re an athlete I’ll generally review the following:

• 10/20/40-yard dash,

• Pro agility (or some lateral agility test),

• Vertical jump,

• Broad jump,

• 4-jump test,

• Power output, etc.

40
Having objective data is awesome, because it not only gives me a great base-
line, but gives me constant feedback - and forces me to be on my A-game and
helping them get results!

If you’re relying on subjective feels then it’s hard to argue your point. If they don’t
feel like you’re helping them, it’s tough to get them to re-up and stick around.

However, if you’re improving their mobility, helping them shed body fat, and
improving their athletic performance, then it’s very easy to improve buy-in and
show that what you’re doing is working.

To make this easier, I’m going to give you both my performance assessment
form, as well as body comp assessment form. Take these and use them going
forward - I guarantee it will help!

Connect their progress back to their goals

At the end of the day, I understand you want them to move better, breathe
better, and feel pain-free. I’m the exact same way. I want my clients to be 100%
pain-free and moving like a boss.

But you have to give them some leeway here. If those aren’t their goals, it’s
simply not going to matter as much to them as it does to you!

Now here’s where you make your money: Your next task it find some way to
connect the dots for them. Show them how what you’re measuring (quality and
performance) connects back to what they’re measuring, body composition and
performance.

They’re breathing better? Great! Tell them how breathing better help them lose weight or
body fat. (For example: If their recovery improves, they’re more likely to train hard next
time they’re in the gym.)

The same thing could apply to getting out of pain. If their goal is to lose fat but they can’t
do any big exercises because their knee/back/shoulder/hip hurts, that’s going to hold
back their progress.

41
 I can’t stress this highly enough: Yes, there are times when a client wants
check the boxes of moving and feeling better, and that’s great. But more of-
ten than not, those are boxes w​ e​want to check f​ or​​ourselves​.

By having an assessment that includes the above every 3 months, you’ll have
the tools to:

• Remind them of where they started from​. Focus on the changes you’ve
already made (even if they aren’t 100% in line with their own - for now).

• Remind them of short-term needs​. If they were a train wreck walking in, how
did this initial training set them up for success down the road?

• Sell them (again) on the long-term vision and goals. R

​ emind them that some
of this stuff was important up front, but that you know their long term goal
is to build muscle/lose body fat/improve their vertical jump (which again,
shows that you’re listening and that you truly “hear them).

In my experience, clients need to recommit to their goals (or get new ones)
every 3 months. So it’s no coincidence that I do re-assessments every 3 months,
so that I can show them the progress they’ve made with me, before getting
them to commit again.

42
 Emergency
Ripcords:
For when you’ve tried everything else, and your
client still sucks.

43
 Let’s start with one of the biggest myths that perpetuate our industry today:

Many coaches believe that if they work with elite athletes, they’ll show up on
time, uninjured, and motivated to train.

But is that really true?

Look there are two reasons I chose to train elite athletes:

1. I’m more passionate about helping athletes take their skills to the highest
level vs. training the general population, so it’s a better fit for me. And

2. Generally there’s more immediate buy-in, and you don’t have to “sell” them
as much on the need to train hard, eat right, and recover properly. In many
cases it’s built into the culture.

But even while training pros hedges your bets, it doesn’t mean that every ath-
lete who walks in is going to be your dream client!

Some of them aren’t interested in changing what they do.

Some have the exact same issues you’re dealing with in a gen pop environ-
ment - they don’t like training, prefer to eat junk food, and generally disregard
anything that’s remotely healthy.

And in a worst case scenario? The athlete doesn’t even like playing their sport
anymore, let alone training - they’re just in it to collect a check!

In the end, training comes down to two things:

1. Your ability to motivate, inspire and push the right buttons with your clients
and athletes,and

2. Their intrinsic motivation to get better.

44
Are They The Problem? Or Are YOU
The Problem?
It’s time to take a good, hard look in that mirror once again. I know I’m not
perfect as a coach, and there are times when I have to look at myself and
admit that I’m not doing my part to help a client or athlete see the changes
they want.

But how do you know if it’s you, or if it’s them? Start by observing their gen-
eral mood and behavior and ask yourself the following questions:

• How do they interact with other clients/athletes, vs. how do they interact
with you?

• What is their general demeanor and life outlook?

• Are they generally positive and happy?

• Are they always complaining, focusing on the negative, and looking at the
glass half empty?

If they’re generally moody and unpleasant with everyone, this is a tell-tale

sign you have your work cut out for you. It may not be Mission Impossible,
but don’t expect this person tp immediately become warm and fuzzy.

If it’s the former, it’s probably an inability on your part (so far) to truly
connect and engage the client. Especially if someone is lively, playful and
friendly with everyone else except you, maybe you just haven’t build a strong
enough bond or connection yet.

Find ways to build a bridge - what are they interested in? Passionate about?
What gets them talking faster and excited?

For example, I worked with a gentleman when I did in-home training that had
zero interest in fitness. Great guy, but not at all interested in working out.

45
 How unmotivated was he? Let’s just say every time I went to his house for three
straight years (3x/week, no less) he was smoking a cigar and not ready to train.

What I did with this guy was find ways outside of fitness and exercise to relate
to him. The guy loved food, wine, and woodworking - so my goal was to get as
educated as possible on these topics, so we had other stuff to talk about while
he was “exercising.”

On the flip side, if they are negative with everyone (including you), this may be
the type of person that will never be successful unless their mindset and out-
look changes.

If you want to fight this battle, focus on the positives

every session:

• What are they doing well?

• How are they improving?

• What do you see as their coach?

And it might very well go beyond your skill set. If you’re into this sort of thing,
help them find self-help materials (books, podcasts, etc.) that can motivate and
shift their mindset.

But also keep in mind, this is going to be a tough battle to win. In many cases
I’m an optimist (almost to a fault), but I’m also realistic and pragmatic as well. I’d
implore you to do the same.

If you continue to work with them, understand they may not see the same
degree of success that you’ve come to expect. And you’ll have to enjoy and savor
the “little wins” - even if they are few and far between.

With that being said, I’m a big believer in controlling the controllables. Maybe
you can’t control them, but you can absolutely control yourself and the quality
of session you’re creating.

46
Let’s talk about a few ways you can make your sessions better than ever be-
fore (and make your life infinitely easier in the process).

#1 - Use the R7 Methodology.

I created the R7 approach to make my own program design easier.

After years of writing programs (and taking far too long to write each one),
I realized that there’s often a lot of overlap in what your clients and athletes
need.

Furthermore, using a system like this ensures that you don’t skip steps and
don’t forget anything.

If checklists and systems work for doctors and airline pilots, trust me, they’re
good enough for us!

#2 - Serial Batch Your Program Design Process.

Half the battle when it comes to writing programs is getting in the right
mindset.

If you write a program, then train a client, then write a program, then eat
lunch, then write another program, it doesn’t work out very well.

Just when you get in the write frame of mind to write a program, you switch
gears and focus your attention on something else.

Not only does this drop the quality of your program design process, but it
adds a ridiculous amount of time as well.

Instead of wasting time write one program at a time, carve out 1-2 hours
on a specific day and write all of your programs on that day.

What you’ll find is that once you’re in the programming mindset, each
ensuing program is a bit easier to write.

So that first program may take 15-20 minutes to write and get the juices
flowing, but each subsequent program is just a little a bit easier - and a bit
faster - to knock out.

47
 #3 - Create Your Progressions/Regressions/Trainable
Menu.

This is a huge one when it comes to not only streamlining your coaching, but
your program design as well.

Every trainer and coach should have a system for teaching clients and
athletes how to squat.

For instance, they may not be ready to back squat on Day 1, and that’s totally
fine.

But what steps do you use to build a better squat pattern going forward?

This is where your progression/regression tables come in.

Just like you need a system like R7 to help you write programs, this is your
“system” to help your client build safe and effective movement patterns.

Furthermore, this is will rapidly reduce your time writing programs, as you’ll
spend zero time guessing which exercises to use from month-to-month.
Instead, it’s just plug and play!

#4 - Continue to learn from the best and evolve your

approach.

So here’s the bad news, not just in training/coaching, but in life:

You’re never really “there.”

In other words, you’re never perfect or beyond reproach.

You can never just sit back on your laurels and stop working.

If you want to continue to grow and evolve as a coach, you absolutely must
continue to learn and refine your craft

48
But here’s the really exciting news: Nowadays there are more great learning
opportunities out there than ever before.

Whether it’s blogs, podcasts, videos or seminars, there are tons of options at
your fingertips. But you simply have to keep learning and keep evolving, as our
field is changing at a rapid pace.

Now as far as building rapport and improving motivational skills, here are a few
things I’d recommend throwing into your training session:

What If THEY’RE the Problem?

Now here’s the bad news - you’re probably not going to change someones
intrinsic motivation.

There are a ton of factors that have built and influenced this over the years -
their parents, their loved ones, what teachers told them, how driven they are to
achieve goals, their underlying motivations for said goals, etc.

You’ll know when someone doesn’t have intrinsic motivation to get better if you
see a lot of the following traits:

• They’re unreceptive to your feedback in general (even if they are paying you
to coach them),

• Their follow through on recommendations is minimal,

• They tend to be argumentative and/or difficult to engage in conversation

• They show up late and/or complain throughout most training sessions,

• They don’t act questions and aren’t “active” in the coaching process.

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 When it comes to the unmotivated client, you really have two options:

1 - Keep training them and do your best to make a positive change/impact.

This can be tough as clients like this tend to drain your energy - I call them
“Energy Vampires.”

They literally suck the life out of you, and the amount of money they pay you is
in no way commensurate to the amount of time, life and energy they take out.

If you have to make ends meet, trust me - I get it. I’ve done this in the past.
But also work to put yourself in a position so that you can get rid of this client
(or these clients) ASAP.

2 - Fire them.

This isn’t the easiest thing to do, but sometimes, it simply must be done.

What you often find is that when you fire a client, either both parties are relieved,
or they quickly realize that they’re not holding up their part of the bargain.

Either way this is a win for you, as you’re either freed up to pursue new clients/
athletes who are committed, or you have lit a fire under this clients arse - and
hopefully they get serious about their training with you.

HOW TO FIRE A CLIENT?

Not everyone can fire their clients right away, but when your business has
natural growth - you don’t just have the ability to fire bad clients, you have the
responsibility to.

Think about the 1-2 clients that take up 80% of your energy. Every coach has
them.

They eat up your time, your energy, and take away from what you can provide
to your other clients. In fact, think about those 1-2 clients that are the worst.

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How many people have you complained to about them?

• To yourself driving to and from appointments with them?

• Other coaches?

• Your significant other at home (or worse - when you’re supposed to be

on a date!)?

• Your friends (when you’re supposed to be relaxing)?

• …. Maybe even other clients (while they’re at your gym trying to focus)?

If this sounds like you (and we’ve all been there) it’s
time to stop making excuses for yourself and let this
client go.

Whether you can financially afford to fire this client at this point in time is
almost irrelevant. It’s not even about the them anymore, it’s about you.

• You’re stressed out

• You’re not your best self (or the best coach).

• You’re not as capable of helping them, and you need to help them find
someone who is.

• You’re going to lose other clients because of it. Whether out of a lack of
good coaching and attention, or because typically bad clients make it bad
for everyone around them.

So for the sake of your sanity, your business, and the success of your other
clients: let them go.

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 Here’s how I recommend doing it:

Schedule a one-on-one meeting with them, to review their goals and

progress.

Start by asking them how they feel their training and progress is going.

Whether they respond that it’s going well or going poorly, you have to call out
that as a coach --you’re having a hard time feeling like you’re helping them
make progress in the ways they need, and why, and then give them a specific
time frame to adjust behavior or tell them what will happen.

For example, let’s take Jake who is never happy with coaching despite seeing
strength results.

He’s really negative at the gym and he always thinks that if he loses a pound
he’s losing muscle and getting too skinny:

“Jake, I hear you saying you’re not making progress. As a coach, I’m at a place
where I’m feeling like I don’t know how to help. I see results that I’m happy with
as a coach, but when you come into the gym, I often feel like you’re unhappy.

Inside the gym, I can point things out to help you focus on the positive, I can
give you a program, and I can be here to answer your questions -- but how
much you put in to this and get out of this is out of my control.

I’ve been finding it really hard to know what I need to do as a coach to help
you. I’ve tried new programming every month, making sure I’m available in the
mornings, and we even worked through that back pain together, and it seems
like you’re still unhappy.

Based on that, I’m curious what you think the best next step is for you to reach
your goal of gaining muscle.”

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Give them hard parameters and expectations around what you need to change
and when you expect that behavior change to happen.

If they say what they need is for YOU to do something different (I need you to
write me more conditioning. I need you to offer sessions at 5 am) you get to
decide whether or not that’s something you’re willing to do. Be explicit about
what you can and can’t do.

“What I hear is that you’d like to me to make your programs harder. But so far
you haven’t shown me you can get to the gym 2x per week consistently, so I’m not
willing to add in days until you can show me that you’re able to do 2x per week. As
far as offering sessions at 5am, that’s something I’m not willing to do at this point.”

If they say what they need is for THEM to do something different (I just need to
get my job / life figured out. I need to show up more often. Etc.) help them get
specific about how you need that behavior to change to keep them on.

“What I hear is that you’re having a hard time getting to the gym, and that your job
stress is impacting your mood. What do you want to do about that? What do you
want it to be like when you come into the gym?”

If you’ve landed on something that you (or the client) is willing to change, shift
to expectation setting.

(If you didn’t find anything either of you can or are willing to change, skip to the
firing):

“So, you’re feeling frustrated that you’re not gaining muscle faster and I’m
feeling unable to help because I’m only around you 2 hours a week. You think tak-
ing 5 minutes before coming into the gym will help your mood, and that coming
in an extra day a week will help you hit your goals. Let’s try this for a month and
see how we do.

After a month, let’s have another meeting to assess how it’s going. If you still feel
stagnant, and I’m still feeling like I can’t give you what you need as a coach, I’m
going to help you explore your options. Does that sound like a plan?”

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 If they blow up, get mad, or blame you, congrats! You’ve got a client who
likely needs help you definitely can’t provide them. Let them know that.

“Jake, I understand you’re feeling upset because I’m unable to help you. I want
to work together with you to see if we can get you what you need — and I’m
willing to try XYZ for the next month.

But if you don’t feel like that’s something you want to do, I’m happy to
support you in whatever decision you need to make to take care of yourself. If
that’s leaving, that’s okay. But I’m doing my best to help you right now, and it’s
not okay to blow up.

If you continue to talk to me this way, I’m going to cancel your contract
immediately.”

If you found something to work on, give them 1 month and every session
call out the things you agreed to work on together:

We talked last week about trying XYZ for the rest of the month. Are you ready
to do that today?

We tried XYZ last week, how did it feel? I want to give it through the end of the
month and re-evaluate, but how’s it working so far?

So we’ve been trying XYZ -- and here’s what I’m noticing _____________.

After one month, schedule a follow-up, and fire or RE-hire them:

Re-Hiring:​ If things got better and you want to continue to work with them,
you need to re-hire them. Reset the relationship. Here’s how:

“Jake, over the past month we worked together on XYZ. I noticed XYZ
improvements. I found as a coach, working with you was better in these ways:
______________. As a client, it seemed like you enjoyed XYZ more. How are you
feeling about it?

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 So, I’d like to give us a fresh start. We’ve worked together the past year, but the
past month has been how I want to work with you moving forward. I’ve writ-
ten up a new coaching agreement that incorporates what we’ve been doing
differently the past month.

Let’s go over it and sign it together.”

(Note this isn’t a financial agreement, it’s a coaching agreement.)

Firing: ​If things didn’t get better, and it’s time to fire them.

“Jake, over the past month we worked together on XYZ. I noticed XYZ didn’t
seem to improve. As a coach, I found XYZ really challenging. How are you
feeling about it?

I want to help you get what you need, and despite working on XYZ for the last
month, I don’t feel that as a coach, I’m the best fit for you.

From here, I can help you find another coach/gym, if you’d like my help.

I’d also like you to know that my intention is to help you get what you need, and to
be able to do it without thinking about the financial impact of changing di-
rections -- so I’m going to void your contract without any penalties - so you have a
clean slate and a fresh start.

You’ll still have access to the gym for the next XX Days.

How do you want me to help you find a better solution from here?”

These conversations are HARD. Especially if you’ve

never done it before. Do NOT do this without
practicing.

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 Print out these examples, and get someone to act out the role of your client. If
they’re an angry client, ask your friend to respond with anger, or whatever you
think the worst case scenario is.

Practice it AT LEAST 10 times before doing it with your real client.

It will never play out how you practiced it, but if it will always go better, and your
client will leave feeling better if you practice.

How to Minimize Blowback

Firing a client has the potential to create negative word of mouth, so do
whatever you have to do to make sure when they retell the story that you come
out as the good guy.

Cancel the contracts and penalties, find them other coaches, gyms, programs,
(or even psychologists) that you think will help.

Buy them a book and give them a gift as you fire them. If they write any negative
reviews, immediately respond in a loving and kind way. Here’s a great example:

Client review:

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THESE GUYS! They said they couldn’t help me -- I asked them to
give me harder programs and they wouldn’t. If you aren’t willing to do what I ask
you to, why am I paying you in the first place!?!”

Response:

“Hey Jake. I’m really sorry to hear that after our long conversations you’re left feel-
ing upset about us not working with you anymore. We did our very best to help
you, including XYZ. We tried that for a month, and found you were still upset and
unwilling to follow our programming. We offered to find you a different coach or
gym, cancelled your contract without penalties, and even gave you some books
that we thought might help you. We really want the best for you, and want to help,
but we don’t think we’re the best fit for you. We’re still willing to help you find a
better fit if you’d like our help. We wish you all the best Jake, and hope you find
what you’re looking for.”

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But what if their spouse / friends train with
me and I don’t want them all to leave?
This is a great question, and one that definitely adds some complexity to the
situation. If other folks train with them who they’re really close to (like a spouse),
ask the client directly if you can reach out to them:

“Jake, I know your partner trains here too. Nothing will change for them unless
you both decide it needs to. I’m going to reach out to them and let them know
that nothing will change unless they need it to if it’s okay with you, but I won’t be
discussing anything with them that we’ve discussed here privately. “

First off, chances are that their friends and family know what the person is like
to be around.

If their friends or family ask what happened, be succinct, honest, and don’t
criticize.

“We really want to help people, and if we feel like we can’t help them, it’s
important for us to let them know that so we can continue to give you the
high-quality training you’ve come to expect. Nothing about your membership
or our relationship will change unless you need it to.”

It sucks, but you may indeed lose a friend or family member. However, if this
client takes enough of your time and energy that you’re willing to read 5 pages
worth of “how to fire them” in your free time, chances are it’s going to be worth
it for you, your other clients, your spouse, your friends, your family, and your
dog.

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 BIO
Mike Robertson is one of the most highly sought-after coaches, consultants,
speakers and writers in the fitness industry today.

Known for his “no-nonsense” approach to training and brutal efficiency, Mike
has made a name for himself as a go-to resource for professional athletes from
every major sport.

Mike is the President of Robertson Training Systems and the co-owner of Indi-
anapolis Fitness and Sports Training (IFAST) in Indianapolis, Indiana. IFAST has
been named one of the Top 10 Gyms in America by Men’s Health magazine
three times in the past six years.

Mike currently coaches a handful of professional athletes during their off-sea-

son, and is the physical preparation coach for the Indy Eleven professional soc-
cer team.

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