Emotional Intelligence – II

www.drvipulvyas.com
 EI Model

Awareness of Management of
Emotions Emotions

Personal Self – Self –

Competence awareness management

Relationship
Social Competence Social Awareness
Management

• 50% of work satisfaction is determined by the

relationship a person has with… his/her Superior.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Self Awareness, Self Management & Empathy: Key Skills

 SA - realize the links between our feelings and what we

think, say and do
 SA is like a smoke alarm for controlling emotions like
anxiety, hostility, sadness, anger?
 SM is taking a ‘pause’, evaluating hijackers / impulses,
and responding
 How is it useful in ‘vivek’?
 Empathy is going beyond showing sensitivity to offer
support to help colleague to learn how to solve an issue
 Connect with the needs, concerns and views of the other

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Tips for Self Awareness

 Try to locate exact area of physical pain

 Reflect on events of a day in sequence for 10
minutes before going to bed.
 Keep alertness for AT LEAST ONE destructive
behaviour during a day
 LOOK at a person as a ‘set’ of “Emotions”
 Look at SELF as a set of “Emotions”
 Keep check on Mood / Mindset
 Silence sitting / Reflection
1 Crore Americans are practicing Meditation
everyday. - TIME Magazine

www.drvipulvyas.com
 EI Model

Awareness of Management of
Emotions Emotions

Personal Self – Self –

Competence awareness management

Relationship
Social Competence Social Awareness
Management

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Positive Vs. Negative Emotions

Please make a list

Positive Negative
Love Fear
Joy Grief
Sympathy Anger
Hope Distress
Zest Frustration
Surprise Jealousy

www.drvipulvyas.com
  Negative emotion means Situation

Wrongly selected emotions, Emotion

i.e. Destructive Emotions

Positive emotion
means Rightly selected
Emotions, i.e.
Constructive Emotions
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Weakness or Strength is not in an Emotion
but

in selection of
EMOTIONS
in a particular situation.

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Self Management –
Choose Your Behavior
REACTIVE

Stimulus Reaction

Emotionally Intelligent Behaviour

Evaluation
Stimulus Response
Of
options
www.drvipulvyas.com
 What, Why & How of
Profit Regulation

• Product + Waste
• Improve productivity
• Reduce waste
• Generate value from
Waste

www.drvipulvyas.com
 How to reduce destructive Emotions

Higher the life purpose,

Lesser the possibility of destructive emotions.
 e.g. Work for salary Vs. Work for Self Purification

Workforce of the
Work for civilisation
Country
Employee of
the Company

Team worker

Worker

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Change perspective to convert
Destructive to Productive

 Rich father & son

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Change perspective to convert
Destructive to Productive

 I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

 We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they
have a creek that has no end.

 We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars
at night.

 We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that
go beyond.

 We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

 We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

 We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends
to protect them.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 The boy's father was speechless
Then his son added,
“Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Change perspective to convert

Destructive Emotion to Productive Emotion

www.drvipulvyas.com
 The Choice is YOURS!

With a Destructive emotion

you can never have a positive day

With a Constructive emotion

you can never have a bad day

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Tips for Self Management

 Stop acting on impulse

 Remain collected, positive and unshaken
 Manage distressing emotions and reduce anxiety
 Remain focused
 Act with high sense of responsibility and honesty
 Be disciplined in everything
 Embrace and adapt change
 30 minutes daily physical exercise
 10 minutes daily reflection/relaxation or meditation
www.drvipulvyas.com
 EI Model

Awareness of Management of
Emotions Emotions

Personal Self – Self –

Competence awareness management

Social Relationship
Social Competence
Awareness Management

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Boredom
2. Pride
3. Happiness
4. Surprise
5. Fear
6. Excitement

Expressions of genuine happiness consist of a combination

of smiling, (as indicated by upturned mouth) and a
crinkling at the corners of the eyes.
Experts say that an upturned mouth without any change
around the eye area could be an expression of faked
pleasure
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Sadness
2. Anger
3. Anxiety
4. Surprise
5. Disgust
6. Grief

Notice how the skin around his eyes is tightened and his
eyebrows are lowered and drawn together? The subject's
eyes are narrowed and his eyes are bulged out.
The skin around his cheeks also looks raised because he is
baring his teeth. These are all non-verbal cues that convey
anger, according to experts.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Fear
2. Rage
3. Elation
4. Shame
5. Disgust
6. Surprise

Here, his expression is one of surprise. His eyebrows are

raised so that the eyes appear larger than they normally
do as his forehead wrinkles. Look at how his eyes are
open wider than usual by the raising of the upper eyelid and
the lowering of the bottom eyelids. His open mouth also
indicates the feeling of surprise, experts agree.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Dejection
2. Irritation
3. Fear
4. Surprise
5. Disgust
6. Happiness

The expression of fear most closely resembles the expression of

surprise. In both, the eyes are widened and the eyebrows are
raised. But the brows here are drawn together to produce
wrinkles in the forehead. The main difference in the emotional
display of surprise and fear is in the mouth region. In expressions
of fear, the edges of the mouth are tense and turned
downward as seen here.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Sadness
2. Rage
3. Hostility
4. Shame
5. Disgust
6. Surprise

The most distinguishing feature of disgust is the wrinkling of

the nose. In conjunction with the nose wrinkle, the cheeks are
raised and the eyebrows are lowered, making the eyes look
smaller. Typically, the upper lip is raised as well. The overall
countenance conveys a sense of disgust.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Sadness
2. Embarrassment
3. Rage
4. Surprise
5. Disgust
6. Fear

Typically, when someone is sad, as the woman in the above

photo, muscles in the eye region contract so that our
eyebrows are furrowed in such a way that the inside
corners are turned upwards. The upper eyelid corner is
raised as well. The jaw muscles are slacked so that the face
appears longer, and the lips and mouth region are turned
downwards into a frown.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Expressions Reading

1. Concealed irritation
2. Genuine warmth

At first glance it may appear that this woman is genuinely smiling. But looking
closer, notice how her teeth are gritted and her lips are slightly pursed
around the corners and tightened down over her front teeth, i.e.
concealed irritation. Also, the muscles around the eyes are not contracted
so there is no crinkling around the eyes to correspond with the smiling
mouth. A legitimate smile from this woman would show her lips relaxing from
the top of her front teeth, her smile moving more into a crescent shape and
her eyes narrowing with crinkles in the corner.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Body Language Reading

1. Excitement and happiness

2. Helplessness and uncertainty
3. Smugness and confidence
4. Anger, but with resolve

The shoulder shrug display tends to denote helplessness

and uncertainty. The combination of slumped shoulders and
the opening of the arms with upturned palms is a submissive
gesture.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Body Language Reading

1. I really enjoy his stories

2. Whoa, he is standing way
too close to me
3. He is so funny
4. He's holding me up for my
next meeting

This illustration depicts a woman's negative reaction to her

personal space being violated by the man she's talking to.
Notice how her shoulders are stiffened and her back is
slightly arched. She is politely trying to re-establish her
personal space without taking a step back from him. Also, the
expression on her face indicates that she is slightly tense, as
does her grip on her coffee cup. (2)
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Body Language Reading

1. I can't wait to tell her what a stupid idea this is

2. I don't agree, but I'm not going to say
anything out loud
3. I wish I had that idea. Why can't I think of the
good ones?
4. This talk is so informative — but I don't want
to give her credit for it

"Lint picking" behavior is often used when someone is attempting to displace

their feelings onto something besides what is causing them discomfort. In this
case, the woman may disapprove of what her colleague is
explaining, or may simply just be disengaged but not feel like she
can express her true feelings. Hence her turning her attention to
fidgeting with her clothes. While she may verbally agree with her
colleague, averting her gaze and focusing on minor behaviors are attempts to
conceal her feelings from others. (2)
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Body Language Reading

1. I totally disagree with this

speaker
2. I really like what this guy has
to say
3. This is really boring
4. That is the saddest story I've
ever heard

The standard arms-crossed gesture combined with a neutral

or somewhat negative expression denotes the person is not
receptive to comments or ideas. It could be the case that you
have said something that they do not agree with. When you are
interacting with someone and see this gesture, your aim should be
to find out what has caused them to not be receptive to your
ideas. (1)
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Body Language Reading

1. Hostility
2. Openness
3. Frustration
4. Excitement

Arms spread wide convey that he is open and receptive.

Fully exposed and upturned palms symbolize submissiveness.
Overall, this person is displaying a non-threatening attitude.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Tips for Empathy

 Play with a child

 Reflect on your mother’s behaviour
 Be a good listener
 Freely express your emotions in words and
expressions
 ‘Feel’, don’t analyse.
 Be society oriented.
 Control doubts, believe others
 Try to see same spirit in our self and in
others.
 Try to be pure in ‘thoughts’, ‘words’ and
‘actions’
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Relationship
Management

www.drvipulvyas.com
 EI Model

Awareness of Management of
Emotions Emotions

Personal Self – Self –

Competence awareness management

Relationship
Social Competence Social Awareness
Management

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Relationship Management

www.drvipulvyas.com
 What is Relationship Management

• Relationship Management (RM) is all about

your interpersonal communication skills.
• It’s all about your ability to get the best out
of others, to inspire and influence them, to
communicate and build bonds with them.
• Also RM is your ability to help them
change, grow, develop, and resolve conflict.

www.drvipulvyas.com
 Tips for Relationship Management

• For inspiration to truly happen, the vision has to be spelled

out to others in a compelling style.
• Individuals with a high level of influence, skillfully win people
over by listening, networking and building consensus.
• To develop others, acknowledge and reward people’s
strengths / accomplishments, offer helpful feedback and
mentor, coach, and offer tasks that challenge their skills.
• To initiate change, recognize the need for change,
challenge the status quo, make compelling arguments for
change and model the behavior they want to see in others.
www.drvipulvyas.com
 Tips for Relationship Management

• Managing conflict requires being able to understand

different perspectives and finding a common solution that
everyone can endorse. It requires good listening skills and
self-control. They spot potential conflict and help de-escalate
the situation, encourage open discussion and work for win-
win solutions.
• Teamwork and collaboration model respect, helpfulness
and cooperation. When teams work well, turnover and
absenteeism decline and productivity increases. Individuals
who have strong teamwork and collaboration skills: Draw all
members into active participation, Build a team identity and
commitment, Protect the group and share credit.

www.drvipulvyas.com