#writing_correction74

Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countries' development.
However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own
opinion.
there are widely differing views on the issue of whether international sporting events
should be effective globalizing effects or not. Although many people suggest that these
events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation,
Others argue that these are mainly a large unjustifiable expense and it is just a waste of
time and money. However, I strongly believe that any country will economically benefit
from hosting them; therefor two of the principal reasons for this are as follow.
On one hand, the first point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that it helps
in providing an astounding improvement in the infrastructure of the city where the event is
being organized. When It should be help to host country especially zone will be dignified by
all over the world. The more builds reputation the more encourages tourism and creates
bright avenues of employment so not only boosts the flow earning of the host country
economy but also increase cultural exchanges between those people who buy thickets and
attend a sport event. Take the Brazil 2016 Olympic for example, that cause many people
around the world would like learn and read more about their cultural habits like traditional
dances and local language even usual dishes then Such show of admiration and support
actually help to bridge the gap between cultures and nations.
On the other hand, as government must be spending huge amount of money and national
treasure for holding such a mega event including building temporary infrastructure to
provide basic amenities and security to the visitors whereas they should recover this
amount from the residents of the country in the form of direct and indirect taxes. Last but
not least crime is another factor why people don’t like such events. When many people get
together at the same place then there are chances of petty crime and the host city needs to
hire more police officers. By any chance, if the event does not happen smoothly, it brings
blemishes to the prestige of the host country.
To conclude, a host city or nation has a lot to gain from these events but only if they are
economically administered correctly and I think in order to bring name and fame along with
some financial benefits, hosting international events is profitable and acceptable.

Overall:7
Nice range of complex sentences + passive
More attention to fixed expressions
Review “the more....” sentences
Relevant and clear ideas