From:

Madeline McGuire
Sent: Monday, February 17, 2020 5:56:19 PM
To: Children's Services Distribution List
Subject: LACONI Meeting on Empathy

Hi all!

I went to a really interesting LACONI meeting on Friday and I wanted to share some
of the things I learned about!

Wakanheza Project
The DuPage Children’s Museum came to present on this project. The goal of this
project is to use principles and strategies that prevent or de-escalate stressful
situations and create more welcoming environments for children, young people,
families and adults. The three main focuses were: 1) when intervening it is
important to have empathy for the people in the situation 2) notice that the role of
the environment may be adding to the situation and 3) practice non-judgment.
We talked a lot about different ways to intervene but it came down to three main
points:
Appreciate the parents: “I think it’s really great that you’re trying to set
strong rules!” or “It’s awesome that you’re out and about today
Assure the parents: Share a story about your personal experience, “Don’t
worry, kids never want to leave” or “We had the same problem with my cousin
when she was that age”
Help Out: Lend a hand, maybe open a door. Instead of asking “Can I help?”
Say “How can I help?” or “Would it help if I did x?”
I think we already do a pretty good job of this but I really liked the way it was laid
out and although its meant to be used with adults and their child, it could definitely
be used to help a teen in a stressful situation as well.

Youth Outlook: LGBTQ+ Youth
The presenter talked a good amount about how both sexual orientation and gender
identity (though both different) are both a spectrum. They had this awesome
graphic of the Gender Unicorn that I love.











They also talked about some terms that I hadn’t heard before that LGBTQ+ youth
are using to describe themselves. AMAB stands for Assigned male at birth and AFAB
stands for assigned female at birth, these are being used as short-hand for people
who don’t fit into the gender identify they were assigned at birth. The speaker also
noted a lot of LGBTQ+ Youth have started using the term Queer a lot more to
describe themselves, but that because of the word’s history people outside of the
LGBTQ+ community should stay away from using it. It was also noted that people
are starting to show preference for gender around the age of 3 and preference for
sexual orientation between 5 and 7 years old.

One of the most important topics the presenter stressed was the use of preferred
pronouns. And it’s something that starts with us! For a lot of youth they don’t feel
comfortable just letting people know they have preferred pronouns, but if they
know who they’re talking to is aware of them and has their own they’re more open
to them. Simple ways to show support of this: have your pronouns in your email
sign-off ,show your pronouns on your name tag, tell people! When you introduce
yourself use pronouns, for example: My name is Maddie I use she/her pronouns.
That way if they have pronouns they’d like to be called they’re not the first person to
start it. Also if someone tells you their pronouns and you mess up, it’s okay! But
don’t make a big deal out of it say, “I’m so sorry for getting your pronouns wrong. I’ll
be more aware in the future” and move on! Try to avoid gendering a group of people
(this is something I’m definitely still working on). Things to say instead of boys,
girls, guys: y’all, folks, everyone, and everybody. They notice when you try and it
makes a huge difference to them.

I have lots more notes on both of these topics so if you want to chat you know where
to find me!

Thanks!
Maddie