Sarah

DESCRIPTION OF THE EXPERIENCE:

My first NDE happened when I was about 5 or 6 years old, we were

playing in a sand park in Paris with my sister. My sister was on top of
a spider made of ropes. I was climbing the spider to join it. I suddenly
felt weird, I remember telling my sister that it was wrong, I had a huge
pain in my heart and I left. I can't remember what I went through
during that first NDE, I just remember the feeling of speed, like being
propelled somewhere at an unimaginable speed, and also that tunnel
and all those photos. I also remember coming back to my body just as
fast but cold, so cold and I had sand in my mouth.

I told you about the situation of my first NDE because after that it did
not stop. I did it about every two years, even see more, I went back
very often. (I'm going to use “I went back” or “I went there” or “to go”
because I don't really know how to describe this place without
distorting or damaging it. Vocabulary and modes of communication
that we use are far too poor to be able to describe what it is. It is not
there, neither there, nor up there. It is everywhere. It is far and so
close at the same time).

I used to tell my mom, every time that happened, I would die and go
somewhere. But she was sure I had an illness, or a problem. So she
took me to see specialists, at least ten. They never found anything,
except the last one who apparently had the answer, and said that I
was just falling because of my vagus nerve, like two cables got
disconnected and then I was unconscious. I believed this specialist
and my mother, after all what did I know about it when I was 12?

I left another time after the “diagnosis” but I don't remember. Over
time I came to believe that what I saw during my travels was only a
figment of my imagination, despite the fact that it seemed so real to
me, all the memories of my travels slowly faded away. Only the
memory of this tunnel and of all these pictures which paraded, when I
left and came back, never left me. Like this nothing had
happened. Locked up in a simple vision of life, locked up in a very
small world, having only my imagination as an escape.

It wasn't until several years later, when I was about 16, that I returned
there. It was one night, I was with some friends, we were watching a
movie “Fight Club.” We were all sitting in front of the TV. I was sitting
on the couch, next to my current boyfriend, Paul. movie was violent
and during a fight scene I started to feel bad. I immediately asked to
stop the movie because I was not well. My vision was getting blurry,
and the sounds were distant. I felt myself leaving, and I knew
intimately that I returned there, like everything came back to me. But I
was so afraid, because I remembered the pain when I went there. And
indeed the same pain is me arrived, as if my heart stopped beating, as
if it was turning in my chest. is the most painful physical pain I have
felt in my entire life, and every time, the same. Like the price to pay to
go there. I always thought that the pain I was feeling might be like a
heart attack, but I'm obviously not sure.

After the pain everything changes. I go out of my body. I don't look at

my physical body, I don't want to. I only look towards the tunnel,
towards this light. I am thrown inside this tunnel. I know this place, I
know everything, no more questions, a peace, a relief that is already
beginning to come over me. I am no longer afraid of anything,
because I remember. I'm riding so fast in this tunnel. The walls of the
tunnel are mostly covered with photos. Lots of pictures. I am in all the
photos, I mean physically, but I don't recognize myself in all of them. I
even remember stopping to take a closer look at one of these
photos. In the photo I am with several people, sitting in the back of a
red convertible, driving in a sunny location. There are five of us in the
car, and we are all happy, we are all laughing together. I don't
recognize myself at all in the photo, I just know it's me.

With thought I came to think that these photos are bridles from my
past lives, my past memories that are stored inside my soul. Because
on the red convertible my physical body was totally different from the
one I have today, which is why the photo appealed to me so much and
surely because it contains an important memory.

In the tunnel everything goes so fast but still leaves time to see all the
photos if you want to look at them. There, There is no time, it no
longer exists, it never existed. One can understand this notion of
“timeless” of the non-existence of time, only in this state, a non-
physical state. It seems to me impossible to describe it on Earth. Is it
because of the material? The density of the atmosphere, which is so
heavy that it gives us the impression of a certain time between
different times and distance? I don't know, or at least I don't know
anymore.

At the end of the tunnel, I find myself in a totally white place, filled
with the purest white light, it's huge, so huge and so white. There is no
end and no beginning, like being in a sea of light with soft pink waves.
The light is not blinding and so beautiful. And above all, she is so
warm. An all white place would rather refer to a certain coldness, but
there, it is love, gentleness, warmth, peace. There was like a sound in
the low tones, but so calming, I wouldn't really know how to describe
this sound, only to tell you that it invaded me and to give me well-
being and lightness, a serious sound that brings lightness.

I felt Love at its peak when three huge columns of light came to
me. These columns of light are entities, magical beings, full of
goodness, love and benevolence. I have never felt a love like the one
they have for me and that I have for them. No one on Earth knows me
better than them and I don't know anyone more than them. I am part of
them as they are part of me. Even my sister with whom I am very close
and my mother seem like strangers to me compared to the three of
them. And there are many more than that. They are my family. I cannot
describe this love, it cannot be described, it can only be felt, it is
beyond our comprehension. No words, no caresses, no kisses, nor
even every heartbeat… can be used to describe this love. The love we
have on Earth is not really love, rather it is educational love to teach
us what love really is. We destroy love, we condition it, we repress
it. But love is everything, love is everything, and love must be
understood. Earth is a great school for learning love.

These three pure entities spoke to me by thought, we do not use the

same language. They made me understand that I chose to be
embodied on Earth, that I must go back there but that I already knew
by being by their side, everything came back to me. They gave me so
much love. I was at home, I wanted to stay there so badly, I didn't want
to leave, but I had to go back, we knew I had to. I remember I laughed
a lot. They understood me, they knew.

I was so small compared to them. I couldn't see them fully, they were
way too big. It was like being at the foot of Hyperion (the tallest tree in
the world), or looking at a cloud rising from Earth and rising to the
heavens. So I didn't see their faces, their hands, their legs, I don't
even know if they have any. They are light, that I know. A magnificent
and pure column of light, that's the only way I can describe them.

I now know that the place where I met them was only a place of transit,
a wonderful place of transit. A cross between several worlds and
surely a cross between several universes, I could not say. But I can
tell you that even in this place of transit no cravings exist, no fears, no
lack, because everything I needed I had, I knew it and I understood
everything. Everything was simple, everything was in its place,
everything was pure and unconditional love. There were no rules, all
decisions were mine. No one decided for me. These three beautiful
entities that are dear to me simply helped me to return to Earth.

I don't know how long I was there, it could have been a month like a
second, a year like a day, it's impossible to say.

So I went back to my physical body. I had to. I walked down this

tunnel and reviewed the photos. I can't tell if they were the same but
they were there. After the tunnel I arrived in the living room. I was on
the ceiling, my physical body was lying on the couch and all my
friends were around me.

When I returned to my body it was very difficult and I was in pain, it

was physical pain but I was also in pain in my soul. It was so small, I
was suffocating. So uncomfortable and so cold. Like being in a huge
hot bath where pure water becomes us, grows us, covers us with love,
hugs, and opens us up completely, and suddenly finding ourselves in
a deserted street in town, at the inside a small open box, on a cold and
rainy autumn evening, where every drop that falls on us freezes our
blood a little more.

I opened my eyes and immediately wanted to cry and leave. I saw my

friends above me, distraught, talking to me, moving around and
waiting for a response from me. But I didn't want to answer them at
all. I was like pissed off, like it was their faults if I came back. This
feeling only lasted a few seconds. For the next hour or so, I felt very
tired and spoke very little, as any effort weighed on me. I just asked
how long I had been gone and Paul replied: “40 or 50 seconds”. It was
amazing, I felt like I had been gone for 10 years.

These trips are the best experiences of my life. Nothing will reach the
height of my feelings and my emotions during these moments out of
this time that seem so distant and so close to me at the same time. By
now I'm sure I've been there all those other times, unfortunately I have
very few memories. It seems incredible to me to have been there so
many times but I know it, that's all. This place exists, and much
more. Nothing there nobody will make me think the opposite, I went
there, it is at home.

It is difficult to adapt to Earth after moving to a much higher and

evolved place. I think I never really adapted to this world, I live and try
to do my best to complement what I have come here to do. Of course,
I tried to escape this reality, I fell into drugs and alcohol. I have known
depression and the urge to die. I spent all these years waiting for
death, wasting my time. I think my incarnation down here is more
difficult than I would have thought. I have started writing and I will
finish this book that I started three years ago. With my book I travel
and I see different worlds and planets, places where I am sure I have
been.

I never spoke of my NDEs, neither to my mother, nor to my sister, nor

to my friends. It was only recently that I had a great desire to
communicate on this subject. Want to talk about it, share it, stop my
silence. But it's hard to find an open mind and a listening ear for these
kinds of stories. Gone made me realize that I don't know much and
that there's no point in trying to understand because you just
can't. Everything is simple but only when you are there, because here
it is beyond human understanding. No benchmarks, no things can
guide us or respond to us, our brain is far too underdeveloped and we
are locked away. Only our testimonials from NDE can offer a tiny
answer, like a fragrance among billions of flowers.

At the time of your experience, was there a life-threatening

situation? No

Is this experience difficult to describe in words? Yes I don't really

know how to describe this place without distorting or damaging it. The
vocabulary and modes of communication that we use are far too poor
to be able to describe even at a minimum what it is. It is far beyond
human understanding. It is not there, neither there, nor up there. It's
everywhere. It's far and so close at the same time. There are many,
many other planets, other worlds, other universes.

At what point during the experience were you at the maximum level of
consciousness and lucidity? More conscious and lucid than
usual When they arrived in front of me, three columns of light, three
magical beings. What we call being conscious here, and far from
being, we are not conscious, we are deluded, blinded, asleep.

Only in this place could I be aware of the being that I am. Aware that
my incarnation on Earth is only a passage in my existence. That
creation is much bigger and more beautiful than one can
imagine. That everything is creation and love. I knew everything, I
understood everything. I had virtually all the answers about life. I
knew the why and the how. It was so easy. But it seems very difficult
to me to have access to this same knowledge down here on
Earth. Knowledge is like storing in my unconscious, I know without
knowing why. This knowledge is sometimes heard in my words or
read in my writing. But the more I think about it and try to understand
the more I move away.
There are treasures asleep within our being. I often wonder why we
don't know or remember, but at the same time I think the creation is so
smart and logical, that everything makes sense.

Please compare your eyesight during the experiment to that which

you had immediately before the experiment. During my experience
my eyesight was much more precise and clear, I could see further and
also closer. I could see the photos passing at high speed in front of
me. Like watching a TGV go by at high speed in front of us and seeing
what each person is doing inside, sitting in their seat. Except that it
was my being that was moving at the speed of the train and the train
that was stopped.

Please compare your hearing during the experiment with what you
had just before the experiment . I think the hearing was totally
different during my experience. The entities were not speaking to me
but I could hear them inside my mind. All the sounds were directly
projected inside my being, as if they did not come from the outside
but directly from the inside. In the place of transit, this place of
extreme whiteness made of pure light, there was a sound of a serious
tone but which brought me lightness. A serious sound that makes you
light.

Did you see or hear any earthly events taking place while your
consciousness was separated from your physical / earthly
body? Yes I didn't tell them about it but I saw my friends above
my physical body talking to me and touching me to wake me up. They
were distraught.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? The most beautiful
and purest emotions I have ever felt. Nothing on Earth can give me
these same emotions. Love, joy, peace, happiness, everything to the
extreme and even the word extreme cannot tell you at what level these
emotions were being felt. Nothing negative, it just doesn't exist where
I was.

Did you go through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was made of light and
on its walls full of photos that I could look at. I am in all the photos, I
mean physically, but I don't recognize myself in all of them. I can
watch them all despite the intense speed at which I travel.

Have you seen a supernatural light? Yes Yes, a white light, warm,
pure and wonderful. The light is love and it filled all the space.
Did you seem to encounter an esoteric being or presence, or hear an
unidentified voice? I met a specific being, or a voice clearly of esoteric
or supernatural origin. I met three beings of esoteric origin. I know
them, they are me and I am them. They are my family but they are not
on Earth, they are from somewhere else. I don't know them from
Earth, I know them from before my incarnation, even before several
incarnations. They are closer to me and I are closer to them than any
other person on Earth. The love I have for the people who are dear to
me on Earth is incomparable to the love I have for them.

Have you met or detected deceased (or alive) beings? Yes They
died ... they lived ... many times.

During the experience, did you become aware of any events from your
past? Yes I saw different versions of myself in the photos in the
tunnel. But I don't remember anymore, I just know that I saw myself, I
can see myself seeing them without being able to describe them too
much except the one with the red convertible.

Did you seem to enter a different, supernatural world? A clearly

esoteric or supernatural world Yes a place that I will describe as
transitory. White made by light. And there is more to it. It is the place
that opens the doors to so many different dimensions and
universes. A white immensity.

Did the weather seem to speed up or slow down? Everything

seemed to be happening at the same time, or time has stopped, or
there was no notion of time There is no time, it no longer exists, it has
never existed. One can understand this notion of 'timeless' of the
inexistence of time, only in this state, a non-physical state. It seems to
me impossible to describe it on Earth. Is it because of the
material? The density of the atmosphere, which is so heavy that it
gives us the impression of a certain time between different times and
distance? I don't know, or at least I don't know anymore.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? About the

universe That all is Love and Creation. I knew everything, I understood
everything. I had virtually all the answers about life. I knew the why
and the how. It was so easy. But it seems very difficult to me to have
access to this same knowledge down here on Earth. It is like storing in
our unconscious, these things that we know without knowing
why. Treasures are asleep within our being. I often wonder why I don't
know anymore, why no one knows, but at the same time I think the
creation is so smart and logical, that everything makes sense.
Have you reached a boundary or a physical boundary
structure? No

Have you seen any scenes from the future? Scenes from my own
future I don't know about the photos for sure. But I couldn't say if it
was my future or my past (I'm talking about lives)

Do you feel that you are aware of a particular knowledge or

purpose? Yes Yes it's inside of me. This knowledge is there but I
have difficulty accessing it, so it is there without being there ... a bit
like me.

Please explain any changes that might have taken place in your life
after your experience: Moderate changes in my life I think my NDEs
reminded me ... so hung me on to who I am, to me. I think that when
we are born we forget all that we really are.

After it happened, did your experience cause any changes in your

values or beliefs? Yes Yes I opened my mind and became eager
to know more. But I wasted a lot of years just letting the time pass. I
only wanted to live to go back. I read everything to find out more but I
did nothing on Earth, my mind was elsewhere.

After your experience, did you have any paranormal, unusual or other
abilities that you did not have before the experience? Undecided I
don't know if it happened after or before, as the first NDE happened
when I was 4 years old. But I was very afraid to sleep at night, I
couldn't sleep alone. I think I saw the spirits stuck on Earth. I don't see
them anymore because I think I don't want to see them, they scare me,
very scared. I can feel them sometimes, however, or see objects
moving.

Did you tell anyone about this experience? Yes Yes to a person, 7
days ago. It has been 16 years since my last NDE.

This person has never experienced an NDE. He listened to me but he

judged. He told me that he had learned a lot about the subject and that
it was just my brain playing tricks on me by releasing substances that
create hallucinations. Basically I wasn't going anywhere. I told him
that the brain does not work anymore and does not reach us when we
leave. But nothing to do he got angry and made me cry.

Then I decided it was time to talk about it no matter what people

think. After all those who judge and think they know have never done
NDE. So what do they really know? It's unfortunate that some people
think they have answers because of an experience they've never
had. We judge when we do not know, the judgment does not know,
when it knows it does not judge.

Before your experience, did you know about near death experiences
(NDEs)? No

Soon after having lived your experience (a few days or weeks), how
would you view its reality: the experience was very real The
experience is more real than the chair on which I am sitting as I write.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience: the

experience was very real The experience is more real than the chair I
am sitting on as I write. I put them aside for several years but always
thought about it. They never left me. I just plunged them into silence,
my silence. It seemed easier like that to me. I never feel out of place,
never totally happy or at peace. I am only good with them and will go
back.

Have your relationships changed directly because of your

experience? No

Have your religious beliefs / practices changed directly as a result of

your experience? Yes I have consulted several people to cleanse
my energies, help me make peace with the traumatic events of my
childhood and realign my chakras. This for ten years. But I realized
that this care was more addictive rather than solving the problem.

In your lifetime, has anything, at any time, reproduced any part of the
experience? Yes Sometimes I can feel them close to me I have
moments of fullness and I see like hundreds of little stars shining all
around me.

Do the questions asked and the information you just provided

describe your experience completely and accurately? Yes Very
relevant questions which brought me closer to my experience.

Are there one or more parts of the experience that are particularly
significant or of particular value to you? Yes meet them with my
family. I miss them terribly and sometimes I cry over their absence.