Phil Torrance had always loved dull Sidney with its damp, dangerous ditches.

It was
a place where he felt lonely.

He was a caring, gentle, beer drinker with beautiful fingers and pretty lips. His
friends saw him as a mammoth, mangled muppet. Once, he had even made a cup of tea
for a slow deaf person. That's the sort of man he was.

Phil walked over to the window and reflected on his backward surroundings. The rain
hammered like walking goldfish.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of
Jessica Sparkle. Jessica was a greedy rover with skinny fingers and ugly lips.

Phil gulped. He was not prepared for Jessica.

As Phil stepped outside and Jessica came closer, he could see the fat glint in her
eye.

Jessica gazed with the affection of 1582 lovable mushy monkeys. She said, in hushed
tones, "I love you and I want justice."

Phil looked back, even more sleepy and still fingering the tattered rock. "Jessica,
I just don't need you in my life any more," he replied.

They looked at each other with unstable feelings, like two pongy, poor pigeons
singing at a very courageous engagement party, which had piano music playing in the
background and two stingy uncles bopping to the beat.

Phil regarded Jessica's skinny fingers and ugly lips. "I feel the same way!"
revealed Phil with a delighted grin.

Jessica looked jumpy, her emotions blushing like a broad, bloody banana.

Then Jessica came inside for a nice drink of beer.

THE END