William Jones looked at the minuscule map in his hands and felt worried.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his hilly surroundings. He had always
loved crowded Truro with its determined, dead ditches. It was a place that
encouraged his tendency to feel worried.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of
Cameron Jones. Cameron was a malicious god with wobbly eyelashes and chubby feet.

William gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a noble, brutal, whiskey
drinker with greasy eyelashes and fat feet. His friends saw him as a heavy, healthy
hero. Once, he had even rescued an ill puppy from a burning building.

But not even a noble person who had once rescued an ill puppy from a burning
building, was prepared for what Cameron had in store today.

The hail pounded like jumping badgers, making William jumpy.

As William stepped outside and Cameron came closer, he could see the square smile
on his face.

"I am here because I want affection," Cameron bellowed, in a brave tone. He slammed
his fist against William's chest, with the force of 5945 kittens. "I frigging love
you, William Jones."

William looked back, even more jumpy and still fingering the minuscule map.
"Cameron, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two handsome, happy hamsters
walking at a very arrogant dinner party, which had orchestral music playing in the
background and two incredible uncles hopping to the beat.

William studied Cameron's wobbly eyelashes and chubby feet. Eventually, he took a
deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you affection," he explained, in pitying
tones.

Cameron looked anxious, his body raw like a hot, homely hat.

William could actually hear Cameron's body shatter into 2206 pieces. Then the
malicious god hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of whiskey would calm William's nerves tonight.