MEDIA TRIALS BY DAKSH GUPTA
As at April 2018. there are over
three crore cases pending across
the Supreme Court the High Cour-
ts and the subordinate courts
Our overworked judiciary is fore-
ver indebted to the media hou-
ses of the country for their una-
nimous decision to take a chunk
of that ever-increasing workload
off their capable hands, to help
ease their burden of course.
Same lawyers describe this
as “bold” and “experimental”,
while others see it as a sign of
good change Some political
pundits have exhorted Oxford
University to update the defini-
tion of the word, “progressive”.
When asked for his opinion on
the matter, a retired judge is-
sued the following statement:
“Giving a chance to media peo-
ple/wannabe-lawyers to be jud-
ge, jury and executioner is fairly
emblematic of good faith on both
sides. This alliance will not only
assuage the pressure on the at oll. I think TV wolas can bri-
courts. It will also be an oppor- dge that gap. bringing honour
tunity for journalists to make and justice to our court-kachehri
news rather than merely report system. When my children grow
i- giving them a chance to figu- up. he said, indicating to the el-
re out the pitfalls of our judicialder ane pouring out milk into the
system. It is about time that me- saucepan with the younger one
dia trials become a reality The at his side. playing with a sieve.
happiness on his face said it all, “I want them to become bode
godmi just like the TV wolos
3 His eyes shone as he went an
with his day after having shared
Raju the choiwalo, a father of his poignant string of thoughts.
two and a widower (the mys-
terious circumstances surrou- When spoken with, Rahut, an
nding his wife’s death had not ex-House of Cards fan (ex be-
yet been resolved. briefly, but cause you an educated man of
enthusiastically told us his opi- the modern world must not publi-
nion on the latest shift of power. cally support someone who has
had sexual misconduct charges
“I watch TV all the time. The pressed against them and a full
TV walas wear such good suits time software engineer, recoun-
and speak so confidently. They ted his experience with
always know more about the
case than the courts themsel-
ves. TV walos are the first to find
a crime, the witnesses and the
criminals too. Our ammo used
to say, Late justice is no justice
THE ALLIANCE 2
 the news coverage of the last The CEO of NEWS-380: We run that these allegations are
few months: 1 am a guy who the biggest low firms in the country baseless, misogynistic, andro-
works from 9 to 6 every day. I centric, sexist, chauvinistic, au-
listen to my wife ramble and dro- Welcome to News-360. We dacious and utterly belittling
ne on about her boss from 6 to 7 block fact-checking sites in every sense of the word
pm. It is at 7 that I switch on my and belleve our questionab-
TV to break the monotony, and le sources to keep our senses Mail: Scream-a-lot
get ready for yet another bin-
ge-watching session. The unin- The Anchor: Baap ka, Dada She did it! She did it! Arrest her!
terrupted and incoherent screa- ka, Bhai ka, sob ka ba- I am telling you, she did it! Arrey!
ming with that daunting cascade dla lego re tera faizal. She did it!I know it! She did it!
of syllables. oh god! After a tiring Why are they not arresting her!
day of debugging loyical errors Let’s get this show on the road
and acquiescing to my boss’s and off the rails. My topic for Male#2: The smug, inhouse co-
demands, it’s a sheer relief to today’s discussion is. ‘s India’s mic Someone please give this
watch them throw logic out the finest actress. Mrs Singh, rela- guy a mask to protect the wor-
window and yell over one ano- ted to Pablo Escobar? Does she ld from his inane comments:
ther. I mean getting justice is so
pedal drugs? Does she hypno-
much fun. Media trials are the tize her smugglers to get it for Female#2: Thot aunty that
next big thing, watch out Netflix!
free? is she a witch? I will start played a recurring side role in
with you, Miss Intellectual Fe- “Saas Bhi Kabhi Devroni thi”.
PART 3 - THE ME- minist? (Can someone please
DIA MULTIVERSE hold my Gatorade while speaker The Expert: I know things (de-
pending on the financial situa-
Modia Multiverse was finally Female : Miss Intellectual Feminist tion of the parties involved)
convened for a round table
discussion with the key players As a woman I would like to say

THE ALLIANCE 3