Abbie Nieto

HIST 1302

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March 18, 2021

Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique

Feminine fulfillment. This was Friedan's response to the secret of

housewives in the middle of the twentieth century. The women during this time

were set on being a housewife. Their whole lives it was all they had dreamed

about and thought of. In Friedan’s book, The Feminine Mystique, she said “ in all

the millions of words written about woman, for woman, in all the columns, books

and articles by experts telling women their role was to seek fulfillment as wives

and mothers” (Page.1). The whole chapter she talks about this “problem” that

these housewives suffer from. She goes on to explain their feelings and what this

problem actually is. She gives a much deeper understanding of how these

women lived and how society made them what they were supposed to be and act

like since they were little girls.

Women were supposed to act and look feminine. From how they looked, to

the way they lived. Everything they did had to be this way. Every girl dreamed of

having a life like the women in the images of the American suburban housewife.

Being a housewife, they had everything they could have wanted. A husband, a
mother, a nice house, she was free to do whatever she wanted to with the house,

etc. But although they had all of this, they were very unsatisfied with how they

were living their life. They were often exhausted most of the day even though

they got plenty of sleep at night. The problem was not with their house, children

or even their husband. The problem was themselves. They felt lonely and empty

inside. One woman Friedan had talked to said she had done everything she

thought women were supposed to do like hobbies and such. Women who felt like

this described themselves as desperate. They had no idea as to why they all felt

like this.

These women began to question who they were. They felt as if they had

no personality. Growing up they were taught life lessons on household

management, and all things feminine. Majority of them left school early to get

married and start a family. In fact, for some the only reason they went to college

was to look for a husband. No wonder these women felt like this. Because their

husband made all the money and was in control of all the financials and anything

dealing with money, the women had no money and were stuck in that house

especially since they had no career. Housewives did everything so that their

husbands could come home, eat and relax. “Dinner would be on the table ready

and waiting for the man of the house on his return from work. Housework and the

care of children was considered women's work so the man would expect the
house to be clean and tidy, meal ready, children fed and washed and his clothes

all ready for the next day at work.”1

This was their everyday lives. They had little or no time for themselves.

The problem many of these women struggled with was harder to talk

about than sex. Many doctors and psychiatrists didn’t quite understand what the

problem was, but they were sure it was not sexual. Most of the women kept

saying there was no problem at all. What is interesting about this is that when a

group of mothers would get together, they would know what “the problem” was

without having to say anything. Friedan had realized that this problem was more

common than she thought. It was a problem with women all over america. The

women with this problem thought there was something wrong with her marriage.

They would compare their life with others and then start to wonder if she was the

problem. They would say they were “so ashamed”.2 They thought having more

items, more money, a fancier and bigger house would help with these feelings

but it actually just made them feel even worse.

These women would panic if they weren't feminine. Unfeminine was

another word for unhappy. These were the women “who wanted to be poets, or

physicists or presidents”.3 These were the ones who wanted to be independent

but society at this time found it strange and unacceptable. The housewives
1
The 1950s housewife. (n.d.). Historic UK. Retrieved March 21, 2021, from
https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/The-1950s-Housewife/
2
Friedan, B. (2001). The feminine mystique. W. W. Norton & Company.
3
Friedan, B. (2001). The feminine mystique. W. W. Norton & Company.
learned what it meant to be truly feminine. If they wanted to have a career, have

rights or any higher education, they were not considered feminine. Gender roles

were strict. In fact, women were applauded for their femininity. It was called their

new maturity. Being a housewife was a devotion. As said earlier, little girls get

taught how to do this but from such an early age they are also taught to find a

husband and to have children, Because of this there were way fewer girls who

attend college and started their lives as housewives earlier.

The women who had “the problem” were sucked into it at an early age.

This is why so many of them are unhappy and confused about who they are.

They had only been taught to marry and have children. They were having an

identity crisis. It did not help that The 1950’s strict gender roles were an

expectation. Because of this “certain gender roles and norms were socially

enforced”.4 Housewives suffered silently and often had depression. Everything

they had dreamed about and had been taught was not at all like they thought it

would be.

Betty Friedan's book is still relevant in today’s society. Women/girls have

these roles that they are supposed to fit. If they do something out of that role,

they are judged and looked at differently. Today, they are still supposed to be and

show feminine qualities. Friedan was showing the significance of the housewives

4
Women in the 1950s (article) | 1950s america. (n.d.). Khan Academy. Retrieved March 21, 2021, from
https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/us-history/postwarera/1950s-america/a/women-in-the-1950s
feelings during the middle of the twentieth century. The book was focused and

centered around these women. It was manifesting and was revealing the problem

most of these women had and how hard these women's lives used to be on them

physically and mentally because of the social norms and expectations that were

enforced on them during this time period.