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6 Common Phrases People Use To

Manipulate You

Vocabulary:
1. Pushy - behaving in an unpleasant way by trying too much to get something
or to make someone do something;
2. Discount - to decide that something or someone is not worth considering or
giving attention;
3. Brush off - to refuse to consider what someone says, or to not admit that
something may be true or important.

Have you ever had a partner, parent, or friend who always made you feel guilty?
Do they make you feel like you owe them something? According to Sharie Stines,
a California-based therapist who specializes in abuse |əˈbjuːs|  and toxic
relationships, manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy
used by people who are incapable |ɪnˈkeɪpəb(ə)l| of asking for what they want and
need in a direct |dɪˈrekt|  way. You should note that there are different forms of
manipulation ranging from a pushy |ˈpʊʃɪ| sales person to an emotionally abusive |ə
ˈbjuːsɪv| partner. In either |ˈaɪðə| case, it's important to be aware |əˈweə| of when
someone may be manipulating you.

So here are six common phrases people use to manipulate you.

Number one, "Look what you made me do."
This one is probably most commonly used in friendships or romantic relationships
to blame you for something they've done. Perhaps they say this to you when
they've messed up on an assignment or overcooked dinner. Instead of
acknowledging their own mistakes, they will find a way to place the blame onto
you. They may say it's because you distracted them or because you were standing
too close to them. It’s a way for them to remove responsibility from themselves
and to shift it onto you.

Number two, "Don't be so sensitive."

Have you ever been accused of being too emotional or sensitive? By saying this,
especially in a situation where you're feeling uncomfortable, they're demonstrating
that they don't care for your feelings or your emotional well-being. Whether you're
uncomfortable at a group gathering or used as part of an insensitive joke, it's
important to remember that how you feel in any situation is valid and real.

Number three, "I would never."

Do you ever hear others say, "I would never do that. I would never react in that
way." Doing such things means you're not strong enough. Maybe you grew
depressed after a breakup or you started picking up some bad habits after a close
relative |ˈrelətɪv| passed away. While some may say this without any negative
intendance behind it, they're still judging your actions and discounting the situation
you're in. By saying they would never do the same thing, they're ignoring how you
feel and the pressure |ˈpreʃə| you may be under.

Number four, "I know you feel strongly about this, but I needed to do it my
way. It's what's best for us."
Were you ever made to feel guilty and stayed in a relationship or friendship against
your better judgment? When people wanna hold onto something, sometimes they
may use phrases that are unintentionally manipulative to get what they want. This
includes making decisions in the name of doing what's best for both of you.
Remember that in a healthy relationship it's important to have both of your inputs
heard and respected. Otherwise, they may end up making all the decisions and
doing what's convenient for them and not you.

Number five, "Don't throw away."

So people have a natural fear of loss. You may worry about what you have to lose
as opposed to what you have to gain in the process. Parents may fear for their
children when they decide to take a different route other than the ones they planned
by saying things like, "Don't throw away everything you've worked so hard for." In
romantic relationships your partner may say, "Don't throw away everything we've
built," to trigger your fear of loss. This may end up making you stay in an unhappy
relationship with them instead of letting it go.

Number six, "Don't overreact."

How many times have you been told that you've overreacted when you don't feel
like you have? Perhaps you've confronted them for coming home so late every
evening and they brush it off by saying that you're just overreacting. It's a
manipulative tactic to avoid acknowledging your feelings and concerns, and for
them to get what they want from you. It may ultimately lead to your relationship
becoming one-sided, with them calling all the shots.