The Lover's Dream

I remember when I was younger and in Sunday School, our teacher going over the
books of the Bible. She then did what every adult shouldn't do when you're dealing
with young and curious kids. She told us that there were two books in the Bible, one
in the old testament and one in the new that we didn't need to worry about reading at
this time in our lives, because they were too old for us. One of course being
Revelation, and the other the Song of Solomon. What do you think I did after hearing
that? Of course I ran straight home to read those forbidden books. When I tried to read
them, she was right, they made no sense whatsoever, but it made me more inquisitive
as to WHY. What was within these two books that was so important. After reading
them when I was older, of course, I understood the why. The lyrics to the Song of
Solomon make up an incredibly spicy love song, so it was no wonder that the adults
didn't want us reading that book.

While the text of the Song of Songs is that of a literal relationship between Solomon
and his Shulamite bride, it is also a powerful representation of the relationship
between God and His people. He is the bridegroom and we are His bride and this is
referenced throughout the Word. He wants to have a passionate relationship with us.
We will get into this analogy further on in this journey. Until then, if you are
interested in finding out more now, in "The Book of Mysteries", Johnathan Cahn has
multiple entries tied to the subject of the bride and the bridegroom, and show the
deeper undertones, giving the Hebraic meanings and ties to the Song of Solomon. It is
something I highly recommend reading.

The Song starts like this:

2 Let him smother me with kisses from his mouth, for your love is better than wine.
3 Your anointing oils have a wonderful fragrance; your name is like anointing oil
poured out. That is why young women love you -
4 "Take me with you. We will run after you." The king has brought me into his rooms.

If you are married, think about when you first met your spouse. Did you have that
unbridled passion where you wanted to spend every moment with them? Did you feel
that their love was better than wine? I know I did. Look at your marriage now. Do you
still have that same unbridled passion? Do you still want to spend time with your
spouse and long for their kisses and embrace? Or are you in a place where it feels as if
the passion has died?

My husband and I will celebrate 29 years of marriage this July. And while we go
through our lives taking care of the things that we have to take care of, we still are
madly in love and can't wait to be able to spend time with each other. We invest in
each other purposefully. People tell me when we teach POLICE Families that they
want a relationship and marriage like we have. We are very open and candid about our
relationship, not just with each other but with our kids as well. We let people see our
marriage, warts and all. My response is, "if you want the type of marriage we have,
then you have to be willing to make hard sacrifices like we have." Marriage is work,
and it takes 100% from each person. However, this is an area where 100% from both
parties isn't enough. How many marriages suffer the fate of divorce every single year?
The answer is way too many.

When God created us, he created us to have a relationship with Him first. He has to be
the lover of our soul first, and even our spouse can not come before Him. So many
marriages start out with God at the wedding, but many times, He's left at the venue
and not brought over the threshold with the new couple. Sadly today, more often than
not, He's not even invited to the wedding. He has to be first and the foundation of
marriage for it to stand. We put God first and then the husband is to be the head of the
household. That isn't popular preaching today. We don't want to discuss that wives
submit to your husband nonsense, but it is clearly defined in Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submit to one another in fear of the Messiah. 22 Wives should submit to their
husbands as they do to the Lord; 23 because the husband is head of the wife, just as
the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the
body safe. 24 Just as the Messianic Community submits to the Messiah, so also wives
should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic
Community, indeed, give himself up on its behalf, 26 in order to set it apart for God,
making it clean through immersion in the mikveh (bath or pool with a flow of fresh
water), so to speak, 27 in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a
bride to e proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without
defect. 28 This is how husbands ought to love their wives - like their own bodies; for
the man who loves his wife is loving himself. 29 Why, no one ever hated his own flesh!
On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the
Messianic Community, 30 because we are all parts of His Body. 31 "Therefore a
man will leave his father and mother and remain with his wife, and the two will
become one." 32There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the
Messiah and the Messianic Community. 33 However, the text also applies to each of
you individually: let each man love his wife as he does himself, and see that the wife
respects her husband.
(Taken from the Complete Jewish Study Bible)

Why do we as women have a problem with submitting to our husbands? Because God
said we would. When Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, God
laid a two-fold curse upon women. 1. That we would bear our children in pain, and 2.
That our desire would be towards (to rule over) our husbands, but that he would rule
over us. Where we miss it, is that we equate submission with being a doormat and that
is not what it is at all. A very general way to put it, is this: submission is having your
husband's back and helping him achieve his goals. It is unwavering support. As a
women we have our own goals as well, this is why it also says we are to submit one to
another. It is all about orderly arrangement.
1. God 2. Husband 3. Wife 4. Children
My love for my husband is so great, that I want him to achieve everything he has set
his mind upon. To do that, I put him above myself and work towards helping him
make it happen. Not because I have to, but because I want to, I CHOOSE to. His
success isn't about him, it's about our entire family. Does this mean I don't chase
dreams of my own? Of course not, he helps me chase my dreams as well. Submission
is not so much about servitude as it is respect. As my husband is the head of our
home, I will respect him as such and I will not make important decisions without
discussing them with him first. I don't just go spend money on things, I discuss it with
him first. Why? When we joined together in marriage, we became one flesh. I am
going to work in tandem with him, not cause issues and work against him. It is
because Jesus is the lover of my soul that I am able to love my husband with purpose
and on purpose. It is why I can say in confidence as the Shulamite woman did, "His
words are sweetness itself; he is altogether desirable. This is my darling, and this is
my friend (Song of Solomon 5:16) My husband is my lover and my friend, and it is
only because of Jesus, the chief cornerstone that the foundation of our marriage
stands.