2021 IN S PIR ATIO NAL WO M EN EDITIO N

MO2VATE
From chronic illness to Equal opportunity
multi-published author. and treatment
A disability that turned into One woman’s mission to
inability wasn’t going play her part in driving
to stop this change and progress
force of until we reach
equality.
nature!

Brenda Dempsey
Shares her story of how she turned
I CAN’T into I CAN and kickstarted
her path to success!

ISSUE 06 | MARCH 2021

T H E W IN N I N G F OR MU LA 1
2
Contents.
4. Pain to Purpose
6. The Gift of Adversity
8. Debunking the Glass Ceiling
10. It’s Never Too Late for Change
12. Finding Freedom
16. Let Fear Bounce
18. One Good Turn opened
New Doors
20. The Runners Hope
22. Don’t Let Anyone Stop You
24. Imperfect to Complete
26. Learning to Walk Again
28. One Woman’s I CAN Revolution
30. My Choice to Succeed,
Not Surrender!
44. Universal Shifts Ignited 72. My Biggest Loss Gave
my Dream Business
46. They Should Have Known
48. A Guiding Light of Hope
50. I Won’t Stop
54. From the Ashes to
the Sky
56. Go with the Flow
58. This will not break me
60. Just in Case
62. Not Today Chimp
64. Finding my
Dharma Heart
66. Intentionally ME
70. The Road not Taken
32. The Course of True Love
34. Nothing to Feeling
Truly Alive
36. The Power of Belief
38. Addicted to Accountable
40. One Way Ticket Out
FEATURED
42. Alcohol and Angels
Me Purpose
74. The Impossible is Possible
76. Never Too Old for
Opportunities
FROM THE
EDITOR.
Dear Readers,
Happy INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S
DAY!
Yes this is a celebration and celebrate
we should!
This edition has been an absolute
joy to put together for myself and
the team. So many beautiful stories
of strength, hope, resilience and just
sheer grit. It truly shows that women
the world over go through the same
struggles, fears and challenges but can
also lean on that inner strength to pull
them through.
On paper, you wouldn’t put this group
of women together would you? you
wouldn’t necessarily think they would
have anything in common as their
differences may be many. We all have
a choice to look at what divides us,
but it’s so much more comforting to
look at what brings us together. We
can embrace each other as individuals,
as human beings and as women
who have all been on this journey of
inspiration.
Raise a glass of wine, water or a cup
of tea today and know that YOU ARE
AMAZING just the way you are!
Celebrate the women in your life today
and every day!
All opinions within these articles are
the writers own.
3
 Pain to
Purpose

I
’m as much scared to write this article as I
was having the purpose to write it…

Sharing my story I aim to inspire, empower,

and make people self-realise that life isn’t for
hiding away, being the victim or a slave to your
emotional bondage. Being fully present, honest,
and real is true freedom.

I’m Donna Marie, I was born with unique

physical deformities to my hands and I spent
most of my childhood in and out of hospital
being afraid. I was bullied consistently, fell into
toxic patterns of assault and abuse from others,
and I was my own self harmer.

This all took its toll on my mental wellbeing

which resulted in loss of power, strength,
courage, and I lost me. Pain was all I ever felt.

“Being fully Over the years I buried my emotions deep, and

present, honest, presented myself to the world with fake smiles,

whilst screaming on the inside. Years later I

and real is true found holistic therapy, yoga and tantra, and
went on a path of self-discovery. I set up my

freedom.”
own healing business and my life started to turn
around…I became self-aware.

4
My business journey has been my healing journey. This article is dedicated to all those who have a
The real me revealed herself and my pain turned to story to share. I encourage you to do something
purpose. daily that scares you. Fall in love with yourself and
step outside the comfort zone. Feel the fear and do
Lockdown was incredibly eye opening, I went on it anyway. That’s when you truly break free !
a deep journey of self-love through photography,
being my own artist. I met a unique photographer I have no more words.
at a networking group and was instantly inspired
by his work. I was scared but I went on the deepest
journey of self-discovery and turned my false
perceptions, fears and pain into power and purpose!

We created some real, raw, and honest photography

magic. For me it was embodying the experience,
the inspiration, the empowerment I felt inside out
in that moment of the photos being taken. I was
challenged to step outside the comfort zone more
than I ever have before. Seeing the photos that
Julian Knopf of Gander Photography presented me
with takes my breath away. No longer do I feel like
I have to hide but it’s safe and OK to be visible just
as me.

I am overwhelmed and proud of how far I have

come, to get to the point where I no longer loathe,
but love the body I’m in. I’m so proud to say I can
share these and write this with bravery! The photos
tell a story more than I can write it. No longer am
I a slave to my emotions or my body self-image.
Thankyou Julian for these. They really are art to Donna Marie
me. donna-marie.co.uk

“I was challenged to step outside

the comfort zone more than I ever
have before.”
5
 The Gift of
I
f someone had told me in my 20s that life would
shock me with Divorce, Cancer, Bereavement,
Cancer, Cancer, Cancer! I may well have
given up there and then. Instead in my 20s I had
optimism, innocence, joy - those dreaded words had
not touched anyone around me, so why would they
impact me?
Impact me they did! Divorce in the Asian
community was frowned upon. I chose to walk that
path, and I used it to reconnect with who I was - to
discover what truly mattered to me, what I valued
and to create a version of me that inspired me.
6
Adversity
I was courageous, I was curious and I learnt to
believe in me. I learnt what it truly meant to
appreciate what I have, to create the security I
craved, yet find a way of giving back to others - that
was my true awakening to the gift of Seva - selfless
service that I had witnessed through my dad’s
kindness and compassion.
When love came knocking, I jumped in with a
heart filled with joy and hope. 18 months into
our marriage, my husband was diagnosed with
Lymphoma - this was to change the direction of my
life forever, for the good, the bad and the ugly parts
of a disease like cancer, touches the lives of all those
around you.
 Bep Dhaliwal
thrive365.co.uk

A year later, I found a lump in my breast. Life decided to challenge us once more. When
cancer knocks, every aspect of your life is thrown into turmoil, once again I was challenged
whilst trying to work out who I was now. The treatment, loss of hair, loss of dignity, broke
me, but it also woke me. Whilst I lost faith in my body, through patience, support, and lots of
tears, I gained a new-found respect for myself - for my strength, for my vulnerability, and my
compassion for myself and others. I learnt that I mattered.

Sadly, cancer decided it hadn’t finished with my family. In 2019 I lost my beloved dad to
advanced prostate cancer, and 5 months later our family dog to blood cancer. And also a second
diagnosis for me - this time endometrial cancer. Losing some dear friends to this horrendous
disease along this life path of mine, has awoken a renewed sense of purpose, an acceptance that
death is part of life, and not to be feared.

But why wait for these big thunderstorms in life to awaken you? I’ve made it my life mission
to be a Wakeup call for all those whose lives I have the pleasure of crossing. To remind others
of all that we are, our story is ours to write, to celebrate, to enjoy. Today, right now, you are
enough and YOU matter.

Whilst adversity can wake us up, it’s how you choose to step forward and create the vision of
you that rises, that shines, that inspires you to live a life you cherish, that’s your gift.

7
 Debunking the
Glass Ceiling
L
et’s timelord back to the ‘80s when I was
raised by a single father in the only way my
dad knew how - like a boy.
He’s always been an engineer and could turn
his hand to anything. When I was around 10,
he brought home a book from work about
how fibre optic signals travel down a cable for
telephones; I was hooked and went with him to
site to help lay cables on weekends.
Michelle Coombs
thegeekcoach.co.uk
8
So, it came as no shock that I wanted to be
an engineer and went to the local college
to study electronics. I remember my first
Robotics lecture and the tutor saying I
was in the wrong classroom as this was
the engineering block - I told him to get
back in his box. That tutor absolutely
hated me! However, every week I’d turn
up and do what I needed to pass, despite
the blackboard rubbers that flew at me.
Eventually, I got an interview for an IT
Helpdesk role. I built my skills by hanging
out with the ‘workshop wierdos’ who’d
send kit for me to fix between calls or call
me so I could see a new fascinating bit of
kit.
Over time, different roles and employers,
I progressed. Slowly…I’d see my male
counterparts being promoted or getting pay
rises (this was before Equal Pay), so I started
career hunting and found myself being rejected
more and more. One stinging rejection after
another. I asked for feedback following an
interview and was told “maybe it’s because you
are a woman”. I applied for a role in the name
of Michelle Coombs and was rejected, but the
same CV titled M Coombs, received an email
offering Mr Coombs an interview. That was the
first skirt suit I bought, worth it as the look of
shock when he realised his interviewee was a
female was hilarious!
Several years later and I’m in a management
role for 70 odd people and undertaking my
Master’s in Leadership and Management. I
decided my dissertation would be on the Glass
Ceiling to see how to progress further.
I theorised that it’s difficult for women to move
up the career ladder; and studied the gender
imbalance in the IT sub-culture and whether
there is a glass ceiling in effect for women
who wish to progress; the factors of work life
balance and sacrifices that must be made; and
identify ways in which society can then seek to
close the gap.
Months of research and 20,000 words later, I’d
debunked Glass Ceiling as a ‘real thing’ - what
was going on? I was so sure that I would find
the answer! I turned my attention to what else
could be holding me back...
You’ve guessed it - it was my mindset!
Once I made the changes to me, my life opened
up. I now help others solve the problems
of success and help them to live a life of
achievement and endless possibilities.
9
 It’s Never Too Late For Change
A
pproximately ten years ago, I was a 31-ish
Army wife of a sniper, and mother of two
sons in middle school. My husband of 12
years had just returned from his second year-long
deployment to Iraq. We had married when I was 19
and had a surprise pregnancy with our eldest son,
Taylor. We had moved forward quickly to have our
second child, Gavin, only about six months after
Taylor was born, as I had a lot of ambition for my
life. Goals that mostly went unfulfilled, due to the
needs of my husbands’ career.
During the same period of time, my best friend since
childhood was busy planning her wedding. We had
lots of exciting events planned, and I recall saying
to her that she was so lucky that she still had so
10
many new things to discover about the trajectory of
her life. I was a bit envious, believing that the cards
were dealt for me, and was starting to realise that
I had somehow become trapped in someone else’s
life. I believed that the next thing I would have to
look forward to, was my sons’ graduation and then
grandchildren. The opportunity to fulfil my dreams
was now out of touch.
Not even one month later, my entire life was blown
out of the water. My husband was arrested for
soliciting a minor via the internet, while deployed on
a temporary out of state assignment. I found out he
had been unfaithful, and he was about to be removed
immediately from the military.
It seemed I had woken up in a nightmare that
for three years I couldn’t shake. I couldn’t
smile. I was convinced that I would never again
be happy. I felt that I had to remain married to
him for his mental health, as he was diagnosed
with PTSD and a Traumatic Brain Injury.
Eventually, his legal situation was cleared, and
then I asked for the divorce without hesitation.

It’s hard to believe that it was ten years ago,

as I write this from Bali, Indonesia…just
one of the 36+ countries that I’ve been to in
the past four years, since I became a fulltime
nomad after raising my income by 8 times,
when I was laid off from my corporate job and
started an Executive Career and Empowerment
Advisory firm. I’m launching my E-Commerce
Boutique and Lifestyle Magazine, and starting
two new businesses, one focused on guiding
international business travellers with cultural
lessons and training, and the other is devoted
to helping small businesses cultivate their
corporate culture and define their employment
brand.

Sometimes we think the path is laid out for

us, and we believe that we’re held hostage by
the choices we made long in the past, but the
reality is strange. Life can irrevocably change
in one day. It takes time to process the bad
times, but if we believe in ourselves and take
action, the sky is the limit, and we find that we
are the only ones holding ourselves back.

Keri Tietjen Smith

www.keriellentietjen.com

11
 Finding Freedom

I
look at him directly in the eyes without
flinching. It has been fourteen years since
I last saw him. Fourteen years since he
received a 25-year sentence for rape and
attempted murder.

I remember that night with such clarity and

detail. I was working late in the courtyard of
my small printing business when he scaled
the eight-foot wall and suddenly appeared
Lois Wagner
behind me, holding a screwdriver to my walkingwithoutskin.com
neck. I fought with everything I had but
unfortunately lost that fight. He left me
there, tied up, bleeding profusely from the
numerous wounds that he inflicted.

Besides the emotional trauma there were

many other consequences of that event.

Our little business, the place of creativity,

“I did not want

initiative, and inspiration, died that dreadful
night. The business that my partner and I had
been building for two years. I did not want
to go back to that place of fear. Even though
friends gathered around to wash away the
to go back to that
blood and obvious signs of the fight and rape,
I did not want to go back to that house of place of fear.”
horror. I wanted my partner to buy me out.
He had other ideas and betrayed me, putting
the business into liquidation. I lost everything
and went deep into debt.

12
 debilitating pain down my
left leg. After numerous
medical examinations I was
admitted to hospital and
underwent a back operation.
It was unsuccessful and a
week later I went through the
same procedure again. This
operation too was a failure. I
was sent home with a home
nurse. Helpless and bed
ridden, I was dependent on
people for the tiniest things. I
lived with the pain for another
five months. I later discovered
that this was a psychosomatic
fallout from the rape.

Now, fourteen years after that

dreadful night, I face the rapist
at his parole hearing.

Rashaad, As I face you in

this prison and look you in
the eyes…I do not condone
what you have done but my
goal for today is to forgive
you as I choose to heal the
memory of the attack and
My sex life. My lover came to visit. He had been out of the rape. I am giving you back
country at the time and did not know of the rape. I was that responsibility now, and
so excited to see him. We started making love. I couldn’t I send this with compassion
breathe and felt ill. I made him stop and I told him why. He from my Higher Self, that part
was kind. But he left. He never came back. of me that has protected me,
loved me, and nurtured me.
My health. Three years after that terrible, terrifying, I send it to you, and I release
terrorising night, I woke up one morning with the most you to your highest good. I am
choosing to be free of it.

I FORGIVE YOU AND TAKE

BACK MY FREEDOM.

13
 Let Fear
Bounce

F ear. That nefarious four-letter word has the

power to creep up on you and derail you.

I’ve experienced fear in many forms, as many of

you have. I’ve learned over the years to recognize
it for what it is, acknowledge it and kick it to the
curb.

You know what I am talking about. Self-worth,

depression, anxiety, and more.

As a veteran who lives with PTSD due to sexual

assault, for years I let fear creep into my days as
well as my sleeping hours. Stealing peace and rest.
Stealing joy and self-worth.

Once I recognized it for what it was, I worked to

relegate it to where it belonged. In the garbage.

14
Has it been an easy journey? No. But it is one I
wouldn’t change as that journey that I was set upon
has made me who I am today. I could have chosen
to stay in my muck, self-medicate, or any number of
things that would not have been good for me. I chose
to fight. I fought for my peace of mind, my self-worth,
and my joy.

The world has changed drastically. That change

ushered in new fears for many. I made myself a
promise to let fear bounce. It would not land on me or
steal my joy. It has become my mantra and I share it
regularly.

How can I let fear bounce? I take my past experiences

and put them into words, verbal or written. There
is power in sharing your story; power to heal, to Kim Lengling
embrace, to encourage, and to provide hope. I can’t kimlenglingauthor.com
think of any reason why I would not want to provide
any of those things to someone struggling.

Each time I share my story with someone, a small

piece of the weight falls away from my shoulders. Not
only that, it shines as a small light for someone who
may be sitting in darkness. Letting them know that
they too can weather the storm and come out stronger
for it.

I’ve been able to accomplish much more than I

anticipated or was able to see once I realized that I
can be a light for someone. I am a multi-published
author, a freelance writer, podcast host, and speaker. I
am a mother, a friend, a shoulder to lean on when it is
needed and ears to listen when someone needs to let
go of some of their darkness. It comes naturally to me
as I know what it feels like to be in a place where you
feel alone and unable to cope.

I am on a mission. I will continue to toss small

pebbles of kindness out into the world, one word at a
time. There is power in kindness and power in your
story. Don’t let fear hold you back from sharing your
story and potentially changing someone’s world. I
may not change the entire world, but I can change one
person’s world.

15
15
 One Good Turn
Opened New Doors
The journey of life is never a straight road.
One moment you are walking down a path,
stopping to admire the beauty all around
you, another time you find yourself walking
up a steep path, exhausted, lonely and tired,
wondering when you’re going to reach the
top.
The same is true, within the business
community. One month we have so many
clients we can choose whom we prioritise
we will work with, and other months we are
waiting for the phone to ring, or an email
or other message to arrive. In those quiet
moments how do you spend your time? Do
you continue to work in the business, or on
the business?
16
In the quieter times, I use the time to work on the
business and acquire new skills. I am a true lifelong
learner always wanting to learn skills from others. This
is not something new, this goes back to my childhood
when I used to read one book over a night or a few
days. To save the daily trips to the library, the librarian
would allow me to take out the adult quota of books.
Like most business owners, I had many new skills
to learn including how to market my business
successfully. I had attended a few training sessions,
but one caught my attention as it was being hosted by
a successful female BAME business owner, who had
the opportunity to be trained by the best in her field.
I had not met any successful female founders from
the BAME community at the time - at least things are
much different now!
Networking time came. The time when I felt like a fish out of
water. Talking about myself was not something I found easy to
do at that time, February 2017. I still can feel apprehensive now
depending on the group I am with, but it is much better. At least
I now know what to include in my 30 or 60 second pitch! As I
mixed and mingled with others at the event, I was introduced to
another author and a book publisher. We exchanged details and
over the years we kept in touch.

Fast forward to 2020 and I have the opportunity to be a part

of the book ‘Revival: Women Embracing their Superpowers
Volume One’. Little did any of us realise the doors which would
open. A phone call from a radio show, resulted in the birth of my
soon to be launched radio show - spotlighting women who have
overcome challenges.

One door would have been

enough. I reached out to
the publisher I’d previously
met to publish my latest
book. It went one step
further. She coached me
and my publishing company
was founded. In January
2021, I facilitated in two
book launches - my own
and a book with 20 female
authors. I wonder what
doors are now going to open
for us all now?
Ruth Pearson 17
listeningtoyourvoice.co.uk
 The
Runner’s
Hope

I
have never run so fast in my life
like that day, I’m not sure how I
managed not to get run over by a
car. The pain I was feeling inside had
become my fuel to run.

I felt like a normal woman. One of

those women with children, a stable
job, a husband and a house to look
after. A woman who every night would
hide her dreams under the pillow in case someone would come and steal them
while she slept. Those dreams were so precious that they felt almost untouchable
and unreachable.

I was on maternity leave following the birth of my lovely twins, when I received a
phone call from my HR manager asking me to return to my role as an Events and
Marketing Manager in the hospitality industry. Days and months passed. I often had
to stay late or work at weekends, so my husband had to take care of the children,
the nursery runs and all the entertainment.

My beautiful twins started to become a stranger to their mother. I would go and put
them to bed at night, or go and brush their teeth, and I would always hear “ We do
not want you mama, we want Daddy”. It hurt so much that I would spend nights
crying with my head buried in my pillow, and my dreams forgotten underneath.

18
Debora Luzi
deboraluzi.com

I knew something had to

change, so the universe
decided to shake things up
for me. I was working at
a work fair the day I got
a call from the nursery. “
Debora, please run to A&E,
your son has been taken to
hospital.” “How is he? “ I
asked, “we cannot tell you”.
And the question just came
out of my mouth, “ Is he
alive?”. Same answer.

I started running like a madwoman, begging God, the universe and all the saints to please let
my son live. I begged him to wait for mama, and I promised him I would be the one doing
all the nursery runs, playing with him and
teaching him how to go after his dreams,
because I was going to follow mine too.

My son listened to me and decided to wait.

He was alive.

Soon after, I left my job and started

my own business. I kept my promise. I
started spending lots of time with my boys
rebuilding my relationship with them. I
began to show them how to follow their
dreams, by leading with my own actions and
not only with my words.

I remember the day, months later, when

my twins ran to me, hugged me and said:
“Mama I love you”. I felt such joy. There
is nothing you cannot change in your life
if you really want to. We have the power to
create our reality and live the life we truly
desire.

My dreams are no longer buried and

forgotten under a pillow, I take them with
me and live them every single day.

19
 Don’t Let Anyone
Stop You.
“She is blind”, was the first sentence my parents
heard when the doctors checked me out after I was
born, “And she has got albinism.” Not much was
known about albinism in 1967, apart from that it
was genetic, that it can occur in people and animals,
and that it affected eyes and skin. The doctors were
right with one thing: I was an albino, however I was
not blind, I could see, not like everyone else with
20/20 vision, but I could see enough.
I loved school, got the German equivalent of ‘O’
Levels, and became a typist at the civil section
of Stuttgart’s District Court following a two-year
apprenticeship. I made new friends in the Cologne
area and decided, aged 22, that it was time to leave
home and start out on my own. My parents didn’t
expect I would cope well living independently, but
were impressed how I found myself a job and a flat.
Elke Wallace
eawallace.com
20
After living in Cologne, I left the civil service
altogether and moved to the Frankfurt/Main area.
I got a secretarial job at a real-time software
company, where I had to use my English language
skills every single day, as the company was
American and had its European headquarters in
London. Moving to the UK and especially Scotland
was my goal. The London office of that company
offered me a transfer to a position in their billing
department. I worked hard and played hard there
before I moved on to work remotely for them in
Inverness and Glasgow. Once they had no work left
for me, I joined the last corporate position at the
accounts subsidiary of an oil giant and after that
worked in admin and accounts at a day centre for
the homeless.
Motherhood ended my work career, I struggled with
getting used to being a mum, but decided to stay
at home to see my son grow up. When I separated
from my then husband, I found that leaving work
altogether meant there was not much of a chance to
get back in despite all efforts, being age 40 and with
a visual impairment.
Once my son and I were settled in the Midlands, I
often had the thought of “I would start a business if
the right thing came along”. I discarded that thought
until a friend started in Network Marketing and
introduced me to the products and the company.
After my initial hesitation I also joined. Anything
was better than running to the Job Centre every two
weeks, doing courses that led to nothing ,and writing
hundreds of job applications.
This is only a brief version of my journey of
becoming a businesswoman in 2014, and my reason
for sharing this is that my sight impairment never
stopped me from doing what I wanted to do and
moving where I wanted to live. I never asked for
help, moved many times, emigrated from Germany
and became a British citizen.
21
Imperfect to Complete

B
oobs, breasts, bosoms, pinky and perky,
muchachas, they are even known as life
savers.
The most spoken of and nicknamed part of
the female body. Some are big, some are
small, some are round, pointy, droopy and
some are known as flaps.

Let me tell you the story of my flaps.

In 2010 I was diagnosed with breast cancer,

a gift and pivotal moment in my life which I
treasure.

I went through a series of intensive treat-

ments including a double-sided mastectomy,
aggressive radiation and 6 months of chemo-
therapy. As a result, I adopted a G.I. Jane-es-
que look. I spent 25 hours under general
anaesthesia in the hands of oncologists and
plastic surgeons who reconstructed and
created new breasts, except now, they are
known as FLAPS! What an interesting name,
Flaps. Sadly, the right sided Flap decided it
didn’t want to live and my whole body was
screaming with pain. What happened to
my womanhood? The flaps are a symbol of
femininity, and now one of them just gave up
and died.

This provided an amazing opportunity of

spending 120 days in a hyperbaric oxygen
chamber, gifting time to reflect, process all
that was happening and discover the new
opportunities that were unfolding in front of
me. Just as my blood type is B+, I remained
positive and appreciated that my body was
under construction, and I have a wonderful
opportunity to restore not only my woman-
hood but the whole of me.
22
I possessed the emotional courage to
journey through my pain. I was full of hope
and developed my own strategy of being
resilient. Misfortune can happen and can
be turned into a fortune. I learned to focus
on the positive and accept what I cannot
change, and influence what I can. I was
grateful for everything that has happened
and developed a greater sense of gratitude. I
developed my own sense of humour and the
ability to acknowledge that everything that is
happening is happening for the best.
This profound, challenging time helped me
start my journey of healing, self-discovery
and reflection. From this I learned to be true
to myself, grow through adversity, become
resilient, appreciate life and explore new
possibilities with no fear.
Odelia Marvan
odeliamarvan@gmail.com
Life is a beautiful dynamic and unexpected
force, we ought to LIVE in the full sense of the
word, with love and the privilege to give. Even
where there is pain, sorrow, sadness and anger
there is beauty that lays within, and that is part
of our beautiful life.
We all have scars; some more visible then
others. Every scar has its unique and beautiful
story. Embrace this imperfect beauty, it is part
of the new beautiful you.
Today I am imperfect, scarred, sexy, beautiful
and complete. As a cancer coach, I help
women reconnect with their womanhood,
learning to walk in their new body and
accepting their scars. Learning to love
themselves in their new self and forgive their
body. Ultimately, feel empowered as they
transition into their next big “now what”.
23
24
 2021 IN S PIR ATIO NAL WO M EN EDITIO N

Sharon Brown Laura Billingham

revivalsanctuary.co.uk landgassociates.co.uk

Nicola Matthews Danielle Robyn

nicolamatthews.co.uk deearomarketing.com
25
 L e arni n g
to Walk Again
A
friend once said to me “you inspire me”. I
frowned at her perplexed, “what are you
talking about? Don’t ever wish to be me,
my journey has been hard and with a lot of pain”.
“How do you still laugh?” she asked. I smiled and
shrugged off her compliment.
I decided to look up the meaning from the
Merriam webster dictionary. The metaphorical
meaning and the root word in Latin “inspirare”
means “to breathe or blow into”. As if a
supernatural or divine person is at work. Whilst I
am not God, I liked the definition, “to breathe life
or hope in a person” is something I love to do.
26
I have many adventures and the
latest one was turning 50 and
wondering what the whole palaver
was about. I was incredibly grateful
for life and today the ability to
breathe. March 6th dawned I was
a sick as a dog but still managed
to have dinner with my friends.
Shortly after that I blue coded to
West Middlesex University Hospital, I
could not breathe. I had a 5 day stay
with antibiotics prescribed and was
discharged with a COVID negative
result.
May 2020, I was found loitering half dressed
in no cognition of who I was. Fortunately,
my neighbour found me and called the
ambulance. Another blue code, straight to
resuscitation. My oxygen levels were 76%
and affecting my brain; the blood pressure
was unreasonable 220/104. My parents and
siblings none of whom live in England, were
told I was in critical care. My youngest sister
took charge. She said “No” to intubation, “she
will make it”. The COVID hospitalisation in
2020 triggered help from all sorts of services.
I finally acquiesced to using a walker, her
name is Wendy. Deciding to use an aid broke
me. I beat COVID 19, my lupus went into
remission, and my fibromyalgia is better
managed, all in the Pandemic.

Behind the scenes many do not know I

cannot walk more than 20 meters unaided.
I went on along supporting others in the
background and even entered the final lane
to publish my book “Wounded: Diary of a
Nameless Woman”. The frustration of being
housebound for 4 years and not being able to
function properly was depressing. I jumped
at an opportunity to contribute to another
book on bullying and harassment whilst
healing.

Summer 2020 was the first time in 4 years I

saw colour. I use my walker, Wendy to walk to
the shop and when the sun shone in summer,
I found a space at The Green for my Vitamin
D.

BUT I am an author and have an editor’s

choice article. I was also awarded “Little
Effects award 3 years in the midst of my
worst depression. Disability is into inability.
My greatest achievement is intervening in
suicides in Kenya and getting help for young
women. Wairimu K Warobi
msladyboss.com
My best piece of advice: When you are on
your own encourage yourself and you will see
the evidence of your work.

27
 one woman’s
i can revolution
When was the last time you told yourself ‘I CAN’?

When you face something challenging, your

subconscious mind screams ‘I CAN’T’. Your
negative mind chatter kicks in to protect you. We
are built for survival, keeping safe and limiting
risks. Over time, the constant replaying of these
limiting thoughts creates a limiting belief within
you. You believe it even when it is false.

Loving life has been my ‘thing’ since I was a child.

I had this innate voice telling me ‘I CAN’, even
when I knew it was risky or even dared to think ‘I
CAN’T’. Take raising money for Biafra’s starving
children when I was ten years old; I mentioned my
intention to my mother only to be told, “NO, YOU
CAN’T!” Guess what? I did; the equivalent to one
week’s wages back in 1967.
Brenda Dempsey
28 bookbrilliancepublishing.com
I left school at 16, married at 17. Guess what?
My mother tried her best to dissuade me from
this decision, but in the end, I did. After 20
tumultuous years of living with abuse and four
children later, I finally did something I never
thought possible; I left. I finally listened to the ‘I
CAN’ voice in my head. It could not have occurred
at a worse time. I was in the final year of my
teaching degree when I found myself homeless
with four young children. I told myself ‘I CAN’T’
be a teacher, I’m worthless – another lie. Having
a vision and a why was enough to tell me ‘I CAN’
do it, and the rest is history; in October 1996, I
qualified with a B.Ed. (Hons) degree, despite my
dark days.
Both heartache and joy occurred over the next
few years. There were a few ‘I CAN’Ts’. Every time
I went for promotion, I failed because I refused
to believe in myself; another residue from the
darkness of living with a narcissist. However, the
universe always found a way of making sure I was
all right, and I fell into a great position working
within the field of Special Needs.
In 2004 my beloved father died. Devastated, but
it was the beginning of a downward spiral, as the
following year my mother died. Thinking ‘I CAN’T’
go on, because not only had I become an orphan,
but my children had flown the nest. I was alone
for the first time in my 46 years on this earth!
Fortune smiled, and I met a wonderful man.
I moved everything from Scotland to England.
Life took an upward turn. I taught, I grew
spiritually, then I left teaching after 20 years
and became a coach, helping woman turn their
‘I CAN’T’ into ‘I CAN’. It was not long before I
became a published International Best-Selling
Author, by encouraging other women to find their
voice. During the pandemic, I opened my own
publishing business, supporting women who say
‘I CAN’T’ write a book, to realise they ‘CAN’ write
and publish a #1 Amazon Best-selling Book!
29
 My Choice to Succeed
Not Surrender.
There was a time I wanted to give up. I don’t mean
my dreams, but for real!
I’ll never forget the mental space I was in 13 years
ago. I was 33 and going through the toughest
period of my life. It was 2008 and I had 4 children,
10, 6, 3 & 2 and was managing the home. I say
managing, but really, I wasn’t even capable of
managing myself out of my pyjamas! I didn’t care
that I drove my kids to school in my dressing gown
or relied on friends as often as I could. I was lost,
because I had suffered tremendous loss.
In the space of 18 months, I had been through two
court proceedings, lost possession of my house,
been homeless, living 6 months in a hostel with my
30
kids, lost my furniture, my belongings, and after
moving into a new home, lost my father to terminal
cancer 4 months later, whilst simultaneously losing
my marriage after an infidelity confession by my
husband. It was all gone!
Shock was probably the best way to describe
my emotional state for several months after. I
barely registered the days, lost in my own numbed
mind. I’d like to say that my kids kept me going,
and I suppose they did looking back, but at the
time, they were one of the serious reasons I
contemplated leaving this plane…honestly, I just
felt that I had failed them in every sense of the
word!
“My kids
needed me
more than
ever.”
I tried to be positive and even angry at the world but
some days it was unbearable because I felt nothing! I
questioned aloud “How can anyone live through this
much loss”? My body ached from an internal grief that I
couldn’t even consciously register, and I felt exhausted
all the time. In autopilot, I got what I needed done and
mostly retreated into myself. I didn’t sleep at night, but
I liked the night. Nobody wanted anything from me and
I felt it belonged to only me. By dawn I was always tired
and so would sleep for a couple of hours.

I reasoned I couldn’t carry on this way. My kids needed

me more than ever. They had lost so much too!

Feeling bad, I went from feeling numb to angry, this was

good! I felt something! I started questioning everything,
Life, God, Spirituality. It was during these moments of
deep darkness, that I evaluated my purpose. Who am I?
How can I overcome this sadness? What’s the purpose of Aly Jones
ybucoaching.com
my life?

I began to research, meditate, pray, forgive, accept and

slowly began opening to opportunity. Afterall, I had
my health, my children and a few wonderful friends. I
created goals, started changing my mind chatter, and
began noticing things I was grateful for. Slowly, the
opportunities showed up, and with it, my life started to
change.

I made a choice to succeed,

not surrender! I now see all
my past trials as triumphs,
understanding that when I
changed my Perspective, it
changed my Perception!

31
31
 The Course of
True L ove
“You’re mine now, I can do what I like with
you” were the words my husband said to me
as he closed the door on our hotel room on
our wedding night. I was 20-years old and
had just married my childhood sweetheart, he
had treated me like a princess all through our
6-year relationship and despite my parents’
concerns I couldn’t have been happier when
he asked me to marry him.

I stood in the hotel room in my wedding dress

and wondered what he meant, but I didn’t
have to wait very long to find out. Seconds
later he was beating me around my body, a
menacing grin on his face as he told me “no-
one will believe you, I won’t leave a mark on
your face or arms”.

I don’t recall much else about that night but

I do recall going downstairs to breakfast the
following morning, looking around the dining
room and thinking ‘Is this what they mean
when they ask “are you prepared for your
wedding night?”, they’re not talking about sex
at all, they’re talking about
you being beaten up by
your husband to show that
he’s the boss.’

It was wrong, I knew it was

wrong but as I looked at the
faces of the other women
eating their breakfast all
I could see was a sea of
broken, beaten souls. That
was my perception of the
World at that point.

Deb Morgan
32 notarehearsal.co.uk
On what should have been the happiest day of my life, I
entered what was to become a 20-year cycle of abuse.

It wasn’t until almost 2-years later that I found the

strength and courage to leave my husband. In that
time I’d endured more beatings; I’d been held under
the bath water until I struggled for breath, I’d had a
kitchen knife held against my throat as he bragged that
no-one would miss me if he killed me, I’d had more
dinners and food thrown across the room at me than
I cared to remember and I’d been told I was fat, ugly,
disgusting and lucky to have him, because no-one else
would. I truly believed I was an awful individual and I
should be grateful to him. I left him when he tried to
push me down the stairs with a wardrobe!

I ran and kept on running.

I ran headlong into my second abusive marriage, a

stint as a sex worker and a further abusive relationship
before choosing to use my experiences and adversity
to change my life and, over time, to improve the lives
of women across the globe who had the misfortune to
experience domestic abuse.

Once upon a time I was a victim of domestic abuse.

Now I’m so much more than that. Domestic abuse and
the sex industry were the springboards that propelled
me along the path to becoming a relationships coach
and along the way I also discovered what it means to
be in a truly unconditionally loving relationship.

33
 Nothing
to Truly Alive

5
years-ago my life spectacularly imploded.
I lost my husband, my health and my
career in quick succession, everything
I knew and had worked hard to achieve, gone
in a matter of weeks. Indeed, my then 4-year-
old nephew said to me, ‘Auntie Lollipops
(aka me) now that Uncle Chris has gone, you
have nothing’. Back then, I did feel like I had
nothing.

Reflecting now, having moved 90 miles

around the M25, bought a house in a town
I did not know, renovated that house into a
home, requalified and started a new business
and made friendships far deeper than before,
I realise, nothing became the basis on which I
rebuilt my life, because I was not nothing, and
that was a good enough place to start.

34
In despair, and driven by the desire not to
return to my past ‘coping strategies’; eating
disorders, addictions, alcohol abuse, working
harder, controlling more; having all but
eradicated them from my life, finding them to
be less than helpful, as a long-term strategy
for coping with loss. And after falling into
a relationship soon after my husband had
died – which ultimately broke down, because
he said he ‘couldn’t replace my husband’.
I flew myself off, 5000 miles away, to the
beautiful, sunshine of the Caribbean. The
irony of Aruba being called ‘The Happy
Island’ by the locals, was not lost on me, as I
cried my eyes out while sat on a sun lounger,
I wondered how I was going to cope, now my
life had been reduced to nothing.

As the weeks passed, and the tears began to

give way to thought and reflection, I noticed
the question I was now asking myself, was
not how was I going to cope, but what was
I coping with? ‘Project Me’ was born on
that beach in Aruba, May 2016. At its’ core,
were 3 questions I asked myself. Who am I
now? What is important to me? What makes
me feel alive, because most of all, I wanted
to feel more than nothing – I wanted to feel
alive.

Feeling alive and energised by ‘Project Me’, I

returned home, and began to get to work. Laura Toop
Has it been easy? No. A neighbour served thelossconnection.co.uk
me an ASBO because he mistakenly believed
I had disturbed his sleep; that was not easy!
Have I wanted to give up? Many times.
When the builder declared he was bankrupt,
as I stood in the empty shell of my ‘home’,
my dream felt a million miles away. Each
time, I took pause, and reflected on ‘Project
Me’ and the work I had done and found my
strength to carry on.

Through ‘Project Me’, you see, I realised, I

was not nothing, and this was enough to start,
to truly setting myself free to feel truly alive.

35
 The Power of Belief

I
was born in Toxteth, Liverpool. First
born to Sylvie 18 and Joey 19. Some
would say born into a poor and
disadvantaged background due to
the area and circumstances in which I
lived. But I say, born into love and into
a background that made me appreciate
everything I had and what really reaching
for your dreams meant.
When I was 9 years old, my dad kissed
my younger siblings and I goodnight
before he left to go and have a drink
with his friends in the pub. He never ever
returned. I awoke to a house full of family
crying and my mum in tears. We children
were ushered into the living room by
my mum and my nan and told dad had
gone to heaven but would always look
over us. I’ve carried those words through
the whole of my life, that my dad was
always looking down on me, my god, my
guardian angel. It has helped me through
the lowest of low times, domestic abuse,
finding myself homeless and becoming
a single mum with a 9 month old baby.
It has also made me beam so bright at
the happiest and highest times as I knew
he was always with me. It’s given me the
push to get back up again, rise above and
grab every opportunity that has been
presented to me.

Sissy Rooney
streetstylesurgery.co.uk

36
In secondary school, I told my career
adviser I wanted to be a famous
fashion designer. She told me I would
be a sewing machinist in a factory
if I was lucky. I could have let that
shatter my dreams, but I held them
close and believed I could achieve.
School did not spark my imagination,
and I went less and less, leaving with
no qualifications. Then my textile
teacher, who spotted my potential
whilst I was in school, sent me 2
tickets to see a fashion show in a local
college, I was blown away. I enrolled
instantly and went on a 7 year
education journey to degree level in
fashion design.
If it wasn’t for that teacher, or the
belief that my dad was shining down
on me, I wouldn’t be where I am
now. After starting my own label I
decided I wanted to make a difference
to young people’s lives, like my
teacher had made to my life. I am
now the proud owner of Street Style
Surgery, we have been delivering
creative and educational workshops
right across the globe for the past 17
years, so many young people have
been inspired to reach their creative
dreams. I haven’t given up on mine
either, lockdown has pushed me
back into being creative and I’ve just
launched my first fashion brand in
20 years. I firmly believe everything
happens for a reason and there is not
a day that I don’t feel grateful for the
journey I have been on, the lows as
much as the highs.
37
 I Addicted to
n a decade which became
famous for the population of a
whole planet being encouraged
to ‘make love not war’ I arrived

Accountable
kicking and screaming into
the world in April 1960, an
unintentional biproduct of my
parents doing just that. The
honeymoon period was short lived
and the ‘warring’ between the two
of them quickly became the norm.
One which would serve to shape,
not only my childhood, but instil
in me the belief and behaviour
patterns which in adulthood would
ultimately become the root cause
underpinning a lifelong battle
along life’s loneliest of roads. That
of mental ill health

It’s fair to say that my childhood

was at times traumatic at the hands
of a mother who at best tolerated
me and at worst used me as a
whipping post upon which to vent
her frustrations and subject me
to years of mental and emotional
‘manipulation’. A combination
which by 2012 had seen me
endure four nervous breakdowns,
descend into full blown
alcoholism, and be admitted as an
emergency to hospital with end-
stage liver failure. A six week battle
to survive followed and much to
everyone’s surprise I was sent
home to rebuild my life from the
ground up.

In the initial weeks following my

survival I had little energy for
anything other than to think. I
found the ‘key’’ to all my woes in
just one word, responsibility, and
the journey toward finally finding
the courage to become who I
was always meant to be began in
earnest.

38
 The woman I had blamed for everything my

“In the entire life, whilst not blameless, certainly wasn’t

the reason I’d all but drunk myself to death. Not

initial weeks
at all. The story I’d spent a lifetime telling myself
was! The one that had read everything that had
ever happened to me was her fault not mine.

following my My lifestyle, my choices, and more importantly

the consequences, were all her fault. Therefore
I could have another drink and she could go to
survival I had hell. In the initial, slow, dawning realisation that
followed, I realised that my mother had had

little energy zero influence on me for three decades, she’d

been dead for thirteen years and moreover was
teetotal! None of what had happened to me in

for anything my adult life was her fault. It was mine. All mine.

other than to
For sure I’d spent thirty years blaming the wrong
woman, but I now knew without a shadow of a
doubt that not only would I never drink again,

think.” but I would take full and total control over a life
that was mine alone to live. Including both the
choices I made and their consequences. Would I
do things differently if I could do it all over again?
No, simply because everything that happened
to bring me to this point has made me who I am
today. And this person is someone I’m proud
to be, someone who had to understand that
learning to love ourselves, is the greatest love of
all.

Sue Curr
suecurr.com 39
 One Way
Ticket Out
T
he corporate world destroyed me, I was burnt
out, and stressed. My self-esteem was at rock
bottom, my relationship had fallen apart, and
my health was a mess. As I looked at my severance
package, I took it as a metaphor for my life. I didn’t
have anything left to live for and so I bought a one-
way ticket to Vietnam and intended to die there.
I chose my “Expiry Date” - January 31, 2015. I
decided to give myself six more months to live so
I could see the people I wanted to see and do the
things I still wanted to do. And I intended to spend
the last three months of my life volunteering with
disabled children in Vietnam.

Room Five at the orphanage was a room unlike any I

had ever spent time in before. It’s where 20 children
who were left alone by the world came to live. More
than half of them were abandoned by their parents.
They either had a medical condition their parents
couldn’t afford to care for or chose not to bother with.
There was a minimal level of care for them. They
were given food, shelter, clothing and medical care.
They were safe. Yet, there was something powerful
about Room Five that I just couldn’t ignore so I
became their regular volunteer for three months.

For eight hours a day, five days a week, my purpose

was to care for those forgotten children. And as the
days and months passed, my spirit for life found its
way back to me. I played with their pet rocks with
them. I bought socks and hats for them. We played
Legos, went outside so they could breathe fresh air
and did what I could to keep away from rats and
sewage. The culture shock was what I needed at the
lowest point in my life, and it began to bring me out
of my haze of depression. Sarah Ross
YourReasontoBreathe.com
40
As my time in Vietnam included
Christmas, I decided to spend my final
Christmas Day, bringing Santa Claus to
the orphanage. The pure and innocent
interactions with the children that day
sparked a renewed sense of purpose.
One of the girls in the orphanage was
incredibly ill and we were told on
Christmas Day that she wasn’t expected
to live through the night. While looking
in her eyes and watching her struggle to
breathe, I questioned my plan. Why was
I giving up when I had so much more
I could give and do in the world? In a
beautiful shared moment, I learnt I had a
“Reason to Breathe” and I chose to live.

My time spent in Room Five gave me

a sense of hope and joy for life that
nowhere else in the world could have
possibly shown me. And I’ve been back
four times since - twice more as Father
Christmas - to give back to that special
place that taught me how to smile again.

41
 ker.o rg
it bre a
h ab

-
ht
C h r i st i n e W r i g
Alcohol &
Angels Centre
Feature

I
pulled Danny over the safeguard railings of a busy motorway bridge, cradling a deeply troubled man,
who clearly was carrying the weight of the world on his already crumpled shoulders. A man who was
an alcoholic, lacking purpose, with a string of failed relationships and grieving for his recently departed
brother.

Instantly I felt the impact

his story had on me,
knowing it would change
my life forever.
The pain I saw in his
soulless eyes was
unnerving. That’s
when it happened, the
epiphany. It wasn’t just
Danny’s story unfolding
before me, it was my
own. I truly believe a
degree of divine cosmic
intervention occurred
that night. Although I
saved him that evening,
he most definitely
saved me. I had had an
encounter with my earth
angel. Yes, I now believe
they do walk amongst
us!

I consumed a hefty amount of gin on my return home, to settle my nerves. I started to reflect on what had
occurred. The comparisons we had, the self-loathing, the feeling of failure, a conflicting purpose, which led
to the perpetual cycle of weakness.

42
I knew then I had to change. I had to take
control back. The functioning alcoholic, which
I had become due to the numbing of trauma
from my teens, through to early 40’s, ranging
from homelessness, rape, loss of a child,
divorce, suicide attempt, a string of narcissistic
relationships, a failing business and finally, my
father’s passing, meant I was barely coping.
Internally I was crushed, externally I was
‘Little Miss Positivity”, and in the eyes of
onlookers I had a blessed, fortunate life.
I owned a ‘successful’ floristry business,
working in some of the most prestigious
places around the globe, as well as in the T.V.
industry. Yet my own journey of life, would
be deemed too far fetched for any television
drama.
That night, I changed. I was no longer fuelled
by a passion of floristry. I needed to help
others living the same way I was. The self-
medicating, self-loathing and other functioning
alcoholics of this world.
But first I had to face my own fears and
step out of the shadows into the light,
giving myself permission to heal my
wounds, the deep scarring, and to learn the
art of forgiveness.
Danny helped me find my true purpose,
enabling me to speak my truths without
shame. Meaning I now own and embrace
my past, giving me strength to close my
floristry business, which ran for 15 years,
only 2 months after our encounter. Of
course, I wasn’t fully healed, but he shone
the light for me to take those fearful first
steps. Giving me the strength to venture
into new pastures of mentoring others
in breaking away from their own self
sabotaging habits.
Although my angel didn’t have a glowing
halo, the softest white wings, or the voice
of purity - mine was a little unhinged, but I
wouldn’t have wanted him any other way.
43
 S
itting in the bath crying, I was at the end
of my tether. The trigger point was the new
puppy that had joined our family. Having
grown up around dogs, he was unlike anything I
had ever experienced. This puppy never seemed to
stop. We always had female dogs so this male with
his high energy and super intelligence very quickly
used up all my knowledge of dog training and that
of everyone else I knew.

The events leading up to this moment had been

challenging. After struggling as a freelance
designer, I moved into wedding photography. The
business had been growing steadily when my nan
died very suddenly after a short illness. She had
been the glue that held us together and we were
devastated. My grandad and mum leaned on me for
support and I channelled my energies into my work
- so far, so good.
Camilla Fellas Arnold
44
tecassia.com
The death knell for my photography career was the day I had a panic attack at a wedding. I was
two hours from home, alone in the middle of a field with no phone signal. I have no idea how
I finished the day, but I knew I could not continue so I quietly finished my remaining bookings
and returned to design work.

Those events all took their toll, culminating in me sitting in the bath one night crying over an
overstimulated puppy that would not settle down. In desperation I looked up and said to the
universe, “please help me!”

The next day, the puppy was a little bit calmer, life was a little brighter. Every day, I saw a small
improvement. I remember thinking to myself that maybe there was something else, listening
to me, helping me. I searched online for someone that could help me make sense of what was
happening and found a spiritual group run by a numerologist. Shortly after joining, she ran a
competition to win a business guidance call with her and in that moment, I knew I would win.

A week later, I found myself on the call and we struck up a wonderful working relationship
as I created her social media graphics. One day, she called me and asked if I could design her
book not knowing I had worked as a book designer in the past. It felt like fate and I suddenly
felt the penny drop. Stories had always been my passion. My dream had always been to run
my own publishing house and write books. This time nothing was stopping me except my own
confidence. I took a deep breath and decided to follow my dream, setting up my own hybrid
publishing house. I did not have industry connections or start-up capital. What I did have was
an inner knowing that it was the right path for me.

Two years later, I am still growing my dream business and all it took was a few shifts from the
universe, a crazy puppy and following my intuition to get me there.
45
 They should have known.
M
y friend found my old spelling book
in her cupboard, no idea why she
had it, but it was in a box with her
old school things. We looked through and on
every page I had one or two out of ten correct.
I remembered what school was like. I hated
Monday mornings, knowing I was about to be
ridiculed. Red pen everywhere, words crossed
out and notes from the teacher. I’m not sure
how I managed to get through school with
the difficulties I had. They should have
known then, they should have had me
assessed.
I remember one time, a
special teacher came to
our class and asked
us to read a page
of text. I didn’t
have a
46
problem reading, I stumbled a couple of times,
but I read confidently. What the teacher didn’t
know was that I daydreamed through the entire
thing. She asked me what the text was about,
and I couldn’t answer. I hadn’t taken in a single
piece of information about what I had just read.
When I was at University, I finally pushed myself
for an assessment. I knew I was dyslexic, even
though nobody had ever tested me. I decided
this was it, I needed to get this on paper so that
I could get extra support to help me through my
degree.
What I did not account for, was also having
ADD. What’s that? Attention deficit disorder.
It basically means I get bored really easily and
can’t focus on things for a long period of time.
So that’s why I’m always butting in at the wrong
time during conversations. After the assessment
had taken place, the assessor gave me some
advice and I went back to my room
to have a google. I was in shock. My
whole personality was written there
on the screen. I started to question
myself, was I me, because of my
special needs? Am I just a duplication
of this information before me?
Now I’m a qualified teacher on a path to
headship. I take pride in my differences.
I take pride in my mistakes. I tell the kids
I’m dyslexic and they laugh. How can you
be a teacher if you can’t spell? Teaching
has nothing to do with spelling. Teaching
is about connecting with your learner and
inspiring them to learn.
I work in Alternative Education and there
are too many young people coming
through our doors that have not been
assessed for special needs. Our staff can
spot it within a week, but for some reason
the school system has failed them over
and over again, leading to frustration for
the child and eventually
being excluded from acting
out.
Don’t let your difficulties get in your
way. You can be whatever you want
in life. Spelling and grammar isn’t
everything. In fact, it is my different style
of learning that helps me think outside
the box. Don’t think of a learning disability
as a hindrance,
think of it as a
superpower!

Shona Phimister
propertysmiles.org 47
 A Guiding Light of Hope
I
have a wealth of experience of being
locked in and then let out again. In
fact, I am over-qualified. Having Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and
Bipolar since I was 21 has given me this
gift. It was therefore familiar for me being
detained in the UK lockdown. This time I
voluntarily lost my liberty again, but for a
greater cause.

The months passed and the pandemic

progressed as series of shocking news items,
press conference statistics, Government
guidelines and promises. I worked from
home in my role as a Media Officer with
a charity and got accustomed to seeing
people on a screen and behind glass. Then it
happened. In October 2020, despite taking
every precaution possible, Mum contracted
Covid-19 and passed away peacefully on 9th
October 2020 at the age of 80.

I used my creativity to master my emotions,

throwing myself into my new business
venture that was born during the pandemic
christened The Visuals Adviser. Mum had
seen me develop over the years with two
new businesses and developing my career as
a public speaker. I had already faced tough
times during lockdown one in my jewellery
business called Amoreantos as the casting
companies and assay offices closed affecting
production.

48 Abbi Head
48
amoreantos.co.uk
At Easter I had designed three new
pendants, including one called Hope.
I was so proud that Mum loved the
lotus and infinity design and purchased
one. When her pendant arrived from
casting a few days after she had died,
I was devastated. Over the months
since Mum passed away, people I met
talked about Covid-19 as a throwaway
comment. Every business networking
meeting the topic was raised and
eventually I became desensitised.

I had faced my own finality many years

before, after all there needs to be a
trauma to have PTSD. I have always
clawed my way back knowing that
Mum would be proud as I developed
to be a strong and confident woman.
We had a special understanding that
was based on good intentions and
forgiveness. I made her laugh about the
times in my life which were the most
painful. The infestations of rats, mice,
and insects; homelessness; amnesia;
physical disability; terrible times in
hospitals too difficult to bear and the
list goes on. Every major trough was
covered in those conversations, and
each one was raised into peaks of
laughter with the expertise that only
someone with Bipolar can deliver.

Seeing that smile on Mum’s face was

important after all the tears we had
shed. As I face 2021 now without her,
I am reminded of her strength, and
that it is within me too. For me visual
communication is my superpower.
Transferring visual concepts from
mind to mind is a minor miracle. I will
always associate Mum with the word
hope, and the design I created. I think
of our conversations when I set up The
Visuals Adviser. These are graphics
that have impacted upon me indelibly,
and they will always remind me of her
and her guiding light.
4949
 I Won’t Stop ‘til
Equality
I haven’t always been this passionate about the gender equality issue. I’m a little
ashamed to say I used to be ‘one of those women’ who thought I was immune
to it. I was aware of it, of course, but for a long time it didn’t get in the way of my
personal career progression as I rose swiftly and smoothly from Brand Manager to
Marketing Director to Senior Vice President in a leading multinational company.

And then I saw it. And when I saw it, I saw it everywhere. As a senior manager, I
found myself in a male dominant environment for the first time in my career - in
my life in fact - and realised that I had simply been lucky to have avoided gender
barriers up to that point. I started to experience and witness the impact this has on
women and their ability to perform at
their best when they are in the minority
group in a meeting or team. I saw
brilliant, talented business women and
leaders become small and silent before
my eyes.

I became fascinated by this and

devoured every book and article I
could. That’s when I understood the
extent of it, that it wasn’t about me, the
women I knew, or my company - this
was happening to women everywhere.
Wherever I looked, whether in
business, sport, politics or wherever,
at the top levels I saw 90% plus men. I
wanted to understand why this was the
case, given that women are 50% of the
population and have equal intelligence,
competence, and leadership capability.
I wanted to know where all those
brilliant, talented women go.

50
48
 “I believe that, in
order to solve a
problem, we need
to start by deeply
understanding why it
happens”

So when I left my company after 25

years, I made myself a promise that I
would write a book about what I had
learnt about gender inequality, and
‘Why Men Win At Work’ was born.
It was really important to me to go
beneath the surface of the facts and
figures to the psychology behind it, to
lay out all the invisible, unconscious,
and unintended things that drive
it. I believe that, in order to solve a
problem, we need to start by deeply
understanding why it happens, even
when people have good intentions
and make efforts to address it.

It is also really important for Gill Whitty-Collins

everyone to understand that gender equality isn’t a charity, gillwhittycollins.com
and it isn’t just for women. Businesses deliver better results.
Societies are stronger and happier. Relationships are stronger
and happier. An equal, diverse world is a better one where
everyone wins.

I wish I had understood this issue earlier in my career, not only

because I would have been more aware and better prepared
to manage it personally, but because I could have got started
much earlier on writing and talking about it. I simply can’t accept
that 50% of the world should not be 50% of its leadership and
have equal opportunity and treatment. I want to play my part in
driving change and progress - and I won’t stop ‘til Equality.

51
 2021 IN S PIR ATIO NAL WO M EN EDITIO N

Andrea Smith Annie Gibbins

andreaasmith.com anniegibbins.com

Sevda Hussein Jannette Barrett

facebook.com/sevda.hussein
52
2021 IN S PIR ATIO NAL WO M EN EDITIO N

Dr Julie McElroy Kelly Tyler

juliemcelroy.com speakerinsight.com

Phoenix Madley Virginia Phillips

visionary-heart.com aoeenow.com
53
 From The Ashes to the Sky.
I
made a bloody good attempt at suicide.
What I mean by that is…I succeeded! Divine
intervention however, proved that it was not
my time and I was found and revived. This was
the climax, the culmination of years of abuse,
heartache and hurt and as I slipped away, I
KNEW that I was meant for more. I felt such a
pull to life as it was leaving me, that I knew this
could not be the end.
After that experience I began seeing my
life, my work, my purpose, my mission,
my gifts, skills, abilities, and expertise, as
something that so many women in the
world would grow from, and I made a
promise to myself to fully express myself
and expand into the bigness that was
inside me, in a way I never had before.

It was not! It was the beginning.

Before that time, I had lived and enjoyed my life

regardless of all my traumas, because I knew
that everything we experience is our choice to
experience in the positive or the negative, and
that both of those are only really concepts. We
give emotion and feeling and meaning to every
word we utter.

"You see,
everything in
our lives is
given to us to
see whether we
Ciara Heneghan
will fall or rise."
ciaraheneghanconsulting.lpages.co
54
It was a catalyst. It happened for me and I am grateful for it, just as I am for everything in my life. You see,
everything in our lives is given to us to see whether we will fall or rise. And it is important to understand
that there is no judgement in either path. There may come a time when you will be handed so much, too
much, and you may fall but you still have the choice to rise, again and again. I love the symbolism of the
phoenix for this exact reason, because burning down all you are, over and over again in order to rebirth in to
a new self, is powerful, and it is everyone’s choice.

There will never be anything in life that is bigger than us and what we can handle. Though sometimes it may
feel like it. There will never be anything that is worth ending life over, though sometimes it may feel like the
only option. It is not!

I have grown, undergone many changes and up

levels since that experience, and have become a
supremely successful parent of a gorgeous 13-year-
old boy, who is all light and love and our bond is
fierce and golden. I have deeply bonded friendships.
I have a thriving busines which is an extension of
my life, and I get to guide my clients as they learn to
deeply connect with their true selves.

I am learning, growing and rising every day without

fear or inhibition, and I get to be the expansive force
in my world. You can choose to be a phoenix; you
can rise no matter your experiences and find the
success you desire.
I did.

55
 Go With the F low
T om Upton is quoted as saying “If you just go
with the flow, no matter what weird things
happen along the way, you always end up exactly
where you belong”.
Have you ever watched the wind blow ferociously,
and the trees bending in its direction?
Have you ever seen a riptide, or watched the river in
high tide, or changing tides, carrying big logs, or
tree branches far offshore, in whichever direction it’s
flowing?
Have you heard Pete Seeger’s song sung by The
Byrds “ Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)”?
56
Well, after my graduation, I held onto
the same job I had been doing during
my studies. Then one day life threw a
curve ball at me, and I faced immediate
suspension and imminent, unexpected
dismissal. I was gutted, anxious, and I lost
focus. My difficult, and very challenging
growing-up, had conditioned me to fight
and protect myself, especially when my
back was against the wall and I had no
options. Being a single parent to my 3
children, I felt really scared of losing my
job, my only comfort zone.
So, I challenged, resisted, and fought tooth
and nail. I turned the tables upside down
trying to overturn the process. I spent a
lot of time and energy, going to the trade
unions, drafting letters of defence, and
having meetings with my employer, whilst
experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety in
the fight to keep my job. I lost faith, trust
and focus on everything else, except the
fight to hold onto that job. Finally, after
some exhausting and turbulent months and
sleepless nights, I won the right to keep
my job, only to leave that same job within
a few weeks for another which was more
related to what I had graduated in and
offered new fulfilling opportunities and
much-needed growth potential.
 Shumba Wileman
shumbawileman.com

“Trust that
sometimes things
happen for a
reason”
In hindsight, this confirms that sometimes it’s important to surrender
to events and situations when they happen. I had wasted time and
energy instead of accepting and listening in hope. Trust that sometimes
things happen for a reason, and that the riptide or strong current, might
actually be transporting you to your next golden path.

Danielle LaPorte is quoted as saying “When you go with the flow,

you are surfing Life force. It is about wakeful trust and total collaboration with what is
showing up for you”.

Even the Bible, in Ecclesiastes,

states. “To everything there is a
season, and a time to every purpose
under the heaven: A time to get,
and a time to lose; a time to keep,
and a time to cast away.”

You should Trust, Accept and

Believe in the Universe, accept
what is, and be willing to surrender
and go with the flow. This usually
takes you to new heights and new
horizons. These lead to growth
potential, a deeper discovery of
your true most authentic version of
yourself, which is usually more
Blissful, has more Life Meaning,
Life Purpose, Value, and is more
Wholesome.

57
 this
will NOT
break me!
My heart is racing, my hands are
shaking, and my face is wet with
tears. I have just found out my
contract is not being extended
and I have 3 months to find a
new job. I am 6 months pregnant
and Christmas is in a few weeks.
I am extremely resilient, but this
broke me. I feel let down and
alone. I am heartbroken. I love
my job and the people I engage
with. For want of trying to enjoy
the rest of my pregnancy, I sign
a redeployment form, and go on
maternity leave. In the signing, I
am redeployed and demoted in a
stroke of a pen to a very different
job with no responsibilities and
half my previous salary.

Una Lapin
uniquenewadventure.com

58
Nine months later, I return to work. I am experiencing shame, embarrassment, anger and guilt. I continue
this way, somehow, getting through each day, and before I know it, it is January 2019. I’m a private
person but I have coped enough and tell a sibling. I don’t want to only survive anymore. I feel worthless
and hopeless, and I’m now hearing my story out loud and I am in disbelief. I am angry with what
happened and with myself for not doing anything. I then do what I should have done - I phone in sick.
With family, medical, and union support I take 6 months off and it is the best, proudest decision of my
life. I rest, process my feelings, which were described like a death, and discover my true calling in life; an
international humanitarian.

During the time off I learn about myself - how strong I am! I am sleeping again. I gain back hope, my
self-confidence and self-belief. The fog in my mind clears and the awareness I’ve so much more to
offer the world occurs. I process all my emotions, own what occurred, and close it off. The seed of
realisation sprouts and I discover what I’m supposed to be doing with my lived international humanitarian
experiences. My transformation begins. I rekindle old, and create new, connections. They see me - the
energetic, positive, compassionate and supportive Una and I realise I haven’t lost hope or my previous
experiences. I return to work a new lady with a new attitude.

I am back over a year now and so much has changed. I treat what happened as a gift, as I would never
have had the time to learn of my true calling, knowing this is not my destination. I am the proud founder
and director of my own business, established April 2020 as a sideline, to “Rejoice in our Differences
through Education”. I feel it is my duty to pass on my privileged education and learning of all things new;
humanity, perspectives, gratitude and compassion. Situations are sent to test us. I was tested hard but look
at my learning!

I will succeed in all I do, including inspiring others to overcome, and create a more compassionate world.

59
 Just in Case

60
This is for you. Just in case.
For you, who…
Has continued to buckle up, and
ride this coronacoaster (even when
you are having a wobble, as you
are not keen on fast hurtling rides
into the abyss)
Has continued to keep the kids
alive since lockdowns became
a “thing” (you are proud of this,
home schooling on the other hand,
is a work in progress)
Has continued to shop and clean
- not just yourself, but the house,
the kids, the dogs, your other
half (where DOES all the washing
ever come from, surely all we are
wearing are the same joggers each
day?)
Has continued to look after your
neighbours - offering to shop for
them, pick up their prescriptions,
and offer a chat over the garden
fence (socially distanced of course)
Has continued to put on a brave
face and tell yourself “ we will get
through this”, even when you
are a little unsure (in moments of
doubt, you speak to friends - a girl
needs her tribe - and gin!)
Has continued to keep healthy
by walking, running, reducing the
chocolate, and resisting the booze
on school nights (or continually
trying to…your choice…I am in
denial)
Has continued to fight for your
business, even if you are excluded/
forgotten or just plain bewildered
about whether customers can,
or will return (because no-one
controls me, I choose when and
where)
Has continued to develop a new
business, it’s scary, but it’s thrilling
at the same time (see above)
Has continued to be the best
human you can be - friend,
family, lover, parent, business
buddy, customer - and above all
have remained patient (yes, this
lockdown would test the saints...
you are already planning your
saint’s day and name forthwith)
Because you have got this you
know, and you ARE part of this
inspirational women edition,
named or not.
You may be reading this thinking
I am not inspirational, but if my
words resonate with you, then
to me you are. You carry on,
sometimes quietly, sometimes
loudly, you cry and you laugh, you
win some and you lose some. You
are here, you are moving forwards,
and this article is for you.
You got this. Thank you.
Rachel Hayward
askthechameleon.co.uk
61
 Not
Today
Chimp!
I
n school, and throughout my early corporate bed in the morning, for fear of falling over. As
career, I was studious, kept my head down, we grow up, we teach the chimp new tricks. We
got good grades and hated physical exercise. push the chimp’s comfort zone.
I worked hard, was nominated for awards, won
one at university, where I studied a Master’s In 2015 the company I worked for was acquired
degree. Life was ‘normal’, or ‘as expected’. by General Electric (GE). Life changed. I
Back then I was not adventurous. I was listening inherited a new boss and team in a role I had
to what Professor done for 8 years. I engineered an opportunity
Steve Peters calls to move and landed myself a promotion with a
my chimp brain. brand new team, with a wonderful leader. Being
The chimp wants to in a senior role gave me ‘Roots and Wings’ (a
keep you safe and poem by Denis Waitley). I came alive, taking
away from danger. on additional roles, leading initiatives at work,
If it were up to my arranging events and finding I could be my own
chimp, I probably boss. I was unleashed!
wouldn’t get out of

Lisa Cobble
exceed-coaching.co.uk

62
I was nearing 40. Life was beginning! I took on
more challenges, tried new things. I paraglided
on holiday with a complete stranger I’d met
minutes before. I ran solo in obstacle courses.
I took on challenges in those obstacle courses
that scared me. One of the course’s motto is
‘Don’t fear the challenge, challenge the fear’,
which I started to ‘test’. I triggered what I
call my ‘Brave Bullet’. I became less afraid of
failure, and more about the adventure. I had
been reading, studying and wanting to start a
coaching business. I brought a mindset coach
into work to deliver a programme, which
sparked my passion and courage. I assessed
my own values, strengths, and feedback I
had received over the years. The team at GE
changed. I was offered a new role, with a new
system and new colleagues. I said yes, which
I often do (then think how to do it later). I was
sent to Athens, Greece, to present to a room of
around 60 people on the system I had taken on
days before. I was more scared of not giving
the audience value than anything else. But I
went. I challenged my fear and soared through
the trip.
I now have what I call Magpie Syndrome - I
love new experiences. I am passionate and
creative, I love to lead, I volunteer to use
different skills (I call this ‘try before you buy’),
I am removing ‘can’t’ from my vocabulary -
because who says I can’t? I am testing every
day. Using my passion, enthusiasm, and
inquisitiveness to try new things. To climb
higher. Some things work, some don’t. I adapt
and move on again.
There is nothing holding me back, my chimp is
silenced, he is learning new tricks.
63
 Finding My
Dharma
Heart
I
t’s easy to get snagged in chaos
and gloom when things seem to be
spinning out of control. It’s also easy
to get sucked into polarity and lose your
centre, your Self. That’s exactly how I felt
one day in 2013. I stood outside of my
office, lost, and searching for answers
to step beyond the chaos that seemed
to have taken hold of my life. Moments
earlier, I had had a panic attack in front
of my marketing director. I have no idea
what I said, but all I felt was a wave of
fear that I would lose my new job and
impact our fragile family economy, and
my child would suffer.

I had overridden my gut instinct and

many other people’s sound advice
not to take this role. Still, I faced the
other job choice that paid less money,
and I chose the logical path - one that
eventually led to my burnout and
rebirth of courage and purpose. Part
of the journey was learning to know
who I was and having a clear intention,
a Sankalpa, for my life. Something
essential. Without this self-orientation,
we will feel like a leaf in the wind or a
cork floating on a stormy ocean. Our
life path will be based, as mine was, on
external circumstances, and we need a
lot of luck on our side.

64
 Clarissa Kristjansson
clarissakristjansson.com

My journey to finding my
Sankalpa began on an
acupuncturist’s table. Lying
like a pin cushion for 30
minutes, I was introduced
to a Yoga Nidra practice by
Shankardev; a GP turned
spiritual teacher.
A key phrase that struck home to me was, ‘That anything
in life can fail you, but not your Sankalpa made during the
practice of Yoga Nidra.’ I took that to heart, began studying,
and ultimately became a Yoga Nidra teacher. As a Menopause
Mentor, a critical stage is to help women become self-oriented
and become aware of their true nature, their innate Self, their
dharma.

This is not achieved by thinking or by emotion alone. To

become aware of your purpose requires much more than
your thinking mind and emotional attachments. Thinking
and emotion are critical, but not your whole story. Too many
people believe they should have the answers to their life
purpose without any assistance. That you should already
know everything is a harsh demand to place on yourself. Very
few people know their purpose without self-exploration and
self-development. To find your dharma, who you are, and
your life purpose, your dharma’s expression into the world
needs you to systematically explore your personality, talents,
desires, circumstances, current commitments, and stage of
life. When you go beneath thinking and emotion into the
feeling and sensing - the alive Self, once you touch this part
of yourself, your dharma heart, you will feel a sense of clarity,
strength, and excitement about your life, that you have never
experienced before.

65
Intentionally ME
- Grow on Purpose!
I was born and raised in India.
I currently live in Arizona, USA
with my husband and two little
kids. I love yoga, massages, and
coffee!

I met my husband just 3 days

before our wedding (it was an
arranged marriage), got married
and moved to Dallas, Texas. I
had a thriving marketing career
and was a Global Brand Manager
for a leading technology
company. My initial days in the
US were extremely busy, and
a career in marketing meant a
lot of travel, which very quickly
gave me an amazing learning
experience about this country,
people, and the western lifestyle.

My busy life got busier as kids

came along. My son’s birth
marked the beginning of
postpartum thyroiditis (PPT).
After my second child, the
condition became full-blown,
rocking the very foundation
of my life. The journey began
with me being diagnosed with
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, an
autoimmune disorder. The
illness progressed rapidly
leaving me with a multitude
of debilitating symptoms, and
a frantic search to recover. As
a new parent, with a full-time
job, managing my family and
household, having the time and
energy to work on my symptoms
and recovery was not easy.

66
 “I strongly believe if
It left me deeply frustrated
with the whole process and I
longed for a quick recovery. My
body was failing, but I had to
take care of two little kids who
something has come
were dependent on me, so the
urgency of my situation left me
into your life, then there
desperate to heal. Autoimmune
disorders are growing at an is a bigger purpose.”
alarming rate, with more
than 1 in 12 suffering from an
Autoimmune disorder and it When life forced me to slow, I’m grateful I chose self-love.
is one of the most common Thyroid related illnesses can mean lack of self-expression and
categories of illness ahead of the ability to speak up for oneself. What began as lack of self-
cancer or heart disease. They expression in the form of this illness, ultimately transformed
are 3 times more common now me and gave me the courage to express myself through writing
than they were decades ago with my first book, and the many speaking engagements that
over 75% of those affected being followed. Every illness and pain have a much larger purpose
women. that takes time for us to comprehend, and in the end leads us
through a process of self-discovery and transformation, if we
I strongly believe if something choose that path.
has come into your life, then
there is a bigger purpose. Little An unexamined life is not worth living, but also an unlived life
did I know that when I was first is not worth examining. You were not meant to be a spectator -
diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, you are here to be spectacular!
my life would change so much
for the better. I would have
continued with raising my kids
and working a full-time job, not
really giving life much deeper
thought, or meaning.

Meena Chan
meenachan.com
67
 2021 IN S PIR ATIO NAL WO M EN EDITIO N

Sharon Wright Bernadette Bruckner

gorgeoushearts.com bernadettebruckner.com

Caron Asgarali Brittany Young

caronrasgarali78691029. calendly.com/shespeaksbravely/
wordpress.com spiritual-visionary-session
68
 2021 IN S PIR ATIO NAL WO M EN EDITIO N

Lisa Fenton Ceri Griffiths

propelledbypossibility.com willowbrooklfp.co.uk

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 the road not taken
When I was younger and studied
American business and culture this was
my favourite poem by R.Frost - The
Road Not Taken. Will I have enough
courage to choose that road? The roads
that are not used frequently look scary,
and simply have nothing to offer to
those who do not have courage to be
curious and look beyond what is visible
at first sight.
Looking ahead and not being able to
see what is around the corner is scary
for many of us. Rightly so, our brain
wants to keep us safe and comfortable
and avoid unnecessary dangers at
all costs. We start creating ‘what if
‘ scenarios rarely seeing anything
positive. Our upbringing has a lot to do
with that.
70
My journey started with a little book of great ideas.
I believe I started it in 2016 and carried it with me
everywhere I went. It is full of thoughts, quotes, useful
blogs, courses etc. I was inspired a lot but not enough to
take any actions.
After almost 15 years in the corporate world I truly
stood at the beginning of the road not taken. I never
was entrepreneurial and no one from my family or my
husband’s family was either. Actually, entrepreneurs were
never thought well of in my country.
In 2019 I decided to leave corporate and started to
work with my first client. I cried my eyes out, trying to
understand how it all works . I was stressed as my savings
were getting smaller and smaller and not enough was
coming in to cover bills and running the business. I was
gaining momentum and I loved the creative side of my
business combining cooking and coaching.
How did I survive the first
weeks in lockdown? It was
not easy. First of all, I have a
wonderful family who believes
in me and understands. They
see me healthy and happy and
in far better shape than I used
to be. Yes, we may not be able
to afford a lot of things but
in COVID-19 times, does it
matter?

I have realised that living a

simpler life is pleasurable,
less stressful and can be fun!
Focusing on experiences and
not possessions made me
really happy and focused on
my dream. I have a bucket
list of things I want to
achieve. This includes social
media and usual business
stuff, but above all I want to
grow as an exceptional and
transformational coach who
inspires others to take action
to better and healthier lives for
themselves and their families.
I realise now that without
inner work, as I coach, I do not
show up fully present for my
clients. I show up preoccupied
with my own life.

Coaching opens up the doors

for you, you thought were
closed or were not even there.
It is up to you to get curious
about the Road Not Taken.

Monika Mateja
monikamateja.com

71
71
 My Biggest Loss
Gave Me Purpose

I grew up in a loving
and warm family, in a
small Hungarian town.
I considered myself a
lucky child with easy-
going parents, not being
pressured too much. Of
course, there were the
occasional "motivational"
speeches about how great
it would be if I studied to
be either an economist,
a doctor, or a lawyer. My
grandparents had the
same thoughts about my
future.

My adolescent years were

an internal struggle for
me from an educational
perspective. I did not see
the value in learning many
subjects and refused to
read mandatory novels,
yet I still marched through
primary and secondary
education with above-
average results.

During these years, I

was daydreaming a lot.
I imagined living in a big
city, spinning around in an
office chair while enjoying
the skyscraper view. Oh,
and wearing those red
pairs of stilettos!

72
At sixteen, I got into the
wrong crowd, became a
rebel, did not intend to go
near any university, and was
kicked out from a two-year
course I enrolled in just to
get a qualification. I found
working in a bar for long
hours more amusing than
studying something that did
not interest me at all. One
of the subjects that grabbed
my attention was the English
language. At nineteen, I
packed my bags and came to
London to learn English.

London captivated me.

The first ten years were
memorable for partying,
confusion, no purpose,
studying and working in
accounting, and living
someone else’s life. I was
a mess; I developed gut,
hormonal, and skin issues
along with an emotional
battle that I am still working
on today. I think what pulled
me down the most is having
no purpose. I had no idea
who I am and why I am here.
At thirty-two, my father was
diagnosed with pancreatic
cancer. I still remember
the day and how that day
changed my future. I deep-
dived into research on
cancer and holistic health,
hoping to save him without
using harsh orthodox
treatments. I prepared
personalised meal plans with
high-quality supplements
for him and followed healthy
eating myself too. While the
doctors praised us for having
good lab readings, sadly,
cancer had won after four
months of extensive pain.
Seeing my father suffering
and being so helpless was
an eye-opener to treat
my body and mind with
respect. Human physiology
and nutrition, how our
bodies should feel when
nourished and energised,
and emotional health,
became the centre of my
focus. My mission and
purpose were born. That is
to educate and help others
to be the best version of
themselves, and to show
up for them during the
hard moments. That is a
purpose worth living for!
Ironically, the loss of my
father gave me my purpose
and transformed me into a
healthy and strong woman.
I choose to thrive, and I
choose to grow, every day.
Dad, I am forever grateful
for that!
With Love
Anita Andor
info@anitaandor.com

73
 The Impossible Is Possible
February 2020, the month I decided to free
myself from the haunting memories of the
past. The moment I was knocked down so
hard that I wasn’t sure if I could get back
up again. Every time I closed my eyes, I
would relive the past. I was exhausted, hurt,
and confused on what to do. My name is
Stefanie, I am going to take you on a journey
of these memories and what completely
changed my life to being free!
One of my hardest memories, one I told
myself not to think about for years. The
memory that was so painful I sometimes
wished I had ended up dead that night. I
was 13 years old when my biological father
got me very drunk and gave me a pill which
Stefanie Lethbridge
csplanners.com
74
made me black out. I was haunted by my dad
standing over me laughing and wanting to
take pictures, whilst I was sick and laying on
the floor. For years I let this memory control
my life not letting myself be free.
After living through my dad not being
there when I was a kid, older men sexually
assaulting me, my mom as a single
struggling mom, I thought I was done living
through the hardest part of my life. But just
when I thought everything was going right
after meeting, age 14, the man who became
my husband, we had our entire world change
on February 23, 2016.
We lost our son, Scott, when I was 7 months
pregnant because I had a huge blood clot
that was pushing him out. I felt like my
body had failed, and then being told by my
fertility doctors that I now couldn’t have
kids naturally was even harder. My husband
Jake completely changed my life, making
me believe that the impossible IS possible. I
remember him saying “doctors say we can’t
have kids naturally but watch us. If you want
to have a baby, nothing will get in our way.”
Just like that, everything changed, and we
have a healthy little girl who is now 3 years
old.
Four years later I still felt the guilt from
Scott and was haunted by memories of my
dad. In February 2020 I wasn’t able to sleep
because I was reliving these memories and
guilt. I completely broke down and my
business partner, Chelsea, not only took
over all of the work but helped me become
free from these memories when therapy
didn’t work for me. She helped me master
my mind, so I didn’t let my past control my
future. I am now living my dream life and
I want to empower others to do the same.
I want to teach people that the impossible
IS possible even if life knocks you down.
Now Chelsea and I have over 4700 students
currently enrolled and are living our best
life!
75
 Never Too Old for
Opportunities
H
ere I am, 2 days before my 62nd
Birthday, reflecting back at my
own life story, excited and very
grateful at the prospects of yet another new
direction in my business life.
I was born a middle child to my parents
who worked as self-employed greengrocers,
with their work ethic being “if you don’t
work hard in life you will get nothing”.
Throughout my childhood I was always
striving for recognition, and my relationship
with my mother was tenuous at best.
Aged 16, and straight after my last exam at
school, I was given a bank account with a
little money in and told to leave the family
home.
When I was 21 years old, I fell in love
with a man who reciprocated and gave me
the security I ached for; followed by the
ultimate joy of giving birth to two beautiful
boys, my own family. This happiness
and stability were to be exchanged for a
very long chapter of living hell, when my
husband’s ambitions impacted on us, and
for several years, as a broken unsuccessful
man, he took his frustrations out on me and
I faced a future of his mental abuse. My
escape plan came about, with a fresh new
life for myself and my boys, after accepting
a University place in Leicester, and one of
my greatest achievements in my 40th Year,
was graduating with a 2:1 in Management
and Administration BA (Hons). A month
later I received my decree absolute.
76
I secured a Call centre Manager role, and
worked up the ladder, diversifying into
Recruitment before being headhunted
by a local brewery to head up their new
Recruitment department.
My 2nd husband Paul and I married in
a Register office in 2003. This spiked
my interest in the job of a Registrar, and
6 months later I was sitting in that same
office starting my new role. I worked in
Registration for 5 years and was supported
in an application to become a magistrate. I
was proudly sworn in as a JP in 2012 and
I’m still enjoy my sitting commitments.
After a light bulb moment, when
delivering a close friend’s wedding
in 2014, I took a huge leap into self-
employment as a Celebrant, and in 2014
my ceremonies business was born. 2020
should have been my most successful year
in business, but with the COVID outbreak
everything was postponed for 12 months -
with no income or government support.
An idea for a ceremony ritual, turned into
the launch of my glass business. A choice
of specially designed bespoke pieces of
glass giving anyone the opportunity to
encapsulate special memories from a life
event into a piece of bespoke glass art,
creating a conversation piece for life.
With the passion and impetus to delve into
exciting unknowns, I look forward to my
next pathway…you are never too old to
try something new!
 Ali Fleming
harmonyglass.co.uk 77
MY PROVEN 6 STEP PROGRAMME
WILL HELP YOU BLOOM INTO
YOUR FUTURE, FEEL POWERFUL
AND HAVE PURPOSE

LET'S GET YOUR SPARKLE BACK

AND PUT YOU IN CONTROL

WWW.EXCEED-COACHING.CO.UK
78 +44 (0)7984 528563
 THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
Business Coaching
Ascend Performance Coaching Arah Perrett Consultancy Karen J Burge - Business Coach
www.ascendperformancecoaching. www.arahperrett.co.uk www.karenjburge.com
com hello@arahperrett.co.uk karen@karenjburge.com
vicky@ascendperformancecoaching. 07944 478 348 07962 275 115
com
07975 742 975 Melitta Campbell, Business Coach Karin Weiser
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Listening to Your Voice melittacampbell@me.com Karin@karinweiser.com
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renee@empoweredleadhership.com
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www.actioncoach.co.uk/trushalakhani 905-906-9414 310 344 5184
trushalakhani@actioncoach.co.uk
07971 564 111 Keri Ellen Tietjen Academy of Entrepreneurial
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Annie Gibbins keri@thewildfiregroupllc.com www.aoeenow.com
www.anniegibbins.com + 65 0622 6114 virginia@aoeenow.com
annie@anniegibbins.com 07192 908222
+ 61 4 1474 0741 The Geek Coach
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Thrive 365 michelle@thegeekcoach.co.uk
www.thrive365.co.uk 07577 357256
bep@thrive365.co.uk
07747 760015

Coaching
Lady Boss Royalty Mindset Coach
Above Beyond
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www.abovebeyondcoaching.co.uk
bintimkubwa@gmail.com hello@royaltymindsetcoach.com
info@abovebeyondcoaching.co.uk
07931 322 893 07032 313 061
07923 367 545
Helen Pinkett Fresh Mindset
Soulful Living with Andrea
www.helenpinkett.com www.freshmindset.co.uk
www.soulfullivingwithandrea.com.au
hpinkett101@gmail.com maxineking@freshmindset.co.uk
andrea@soulfullivingwithandrea.com.au
07540 874 882 07788 914 296
400683136
Mojo Coach Alison Lincoln
Andrea Onadeko Relationship Coach
mojocoach.co.uk www.alisonlincoln.co.uk
www.andreaonadeko.com
mandy@mojocoach.co.uk alincoln2913@icloud.com
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07958 749 966 07891 084 093
Sue Curr
Not a Rehearsal www.suecurr.com
Clarissa Kristjansson
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deb@notarehearsal.co.uk 07802 544 805
clarissa@thelittlebreathingspace.com
+46 7206 96 950 07753 424 282
YBU Coaching
OVP Coaching ybucoaching.com
Mastering Your Monday
www.ovpc4schools.co.uk ybu_coaching@oulook.com
www.masteringyourmonday.com
info@ovpcoaching.co.uk 07568 332 863
hello@masteringyourmonday.com
1+302-981-1271 07505 784 546
Parent Teen Coaching
The Effect Coaching instagram.com/parenttennetwork
Bernadette Bruckner
www.theeffectcoaching.co.uk parentteen2@gmail.com
www.bernadettebruckner.com
effete111@gmail.com 07886 735043
brucknercb@gmx.at
6801306752 07950 237596
Brittany Parsons Coaching
Andrea A Smith calendly.com/shespeaksbravely/
Hearts Entwined
www.andreaasmith.com spiritual-visionary-session
hearts-entwined.com
hello@andreaasmithg.com information@brittanyparsons-
Lyn@Hearts-Entwined.com
07967 151790 coaching.com
0115 727 0107
+26 7280 7458 79
 Coaching
Ciara Heneghan Consulting Exceed Coaching
Habit Breaker
ciaraheneghanconsulting.lpages.co www.exceed-coaching.co.uk
www.habitbreaker.org
inessence@mail.com lisa.cobble78@gmail.com
christine@habitbreaker.org
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07932 488943
Walking Without Skin Your Reason to Breathe
Propelled by Possibility
www.walkingwithoutskin.com www.yourreasontobreathe.com
propelledbypossibility.com
lois@walkingwithoutskin.com sarah@yourreasontobreathe.com
lisafenton@live.ca
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Sevda Hussein Shumba Wileman
Gorgeous Hearts
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www.facebook.com/sevda.hussein www.shumbawileman.com
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sevdaauthenticitymovement@gmail.com pehps@msn.com
sharon@gorgeoushearts.com
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Business Services
Mercury Franchise School Propelled By Possibility Strategy Cards
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c.white@mercuryfranchise.co.uk lisafenton@live.ca sarah@strategycards.co.uk
07507 478 194 (905) 447-4768 01343 818 150

Inspired People Premier Property Solutions KI Leadership Institute

www.inspiredpeople.co.uk premierpropertysolutions.co.im www.kileadership.com
jo@inspiredpeople.co.uk caitrionaellis@gmail.com arthiemoore@kileadershipinstitute.com
01214 033 832 07624 252757 72 439 4220

Ask The Chameleon Leave A Better Legacy G Kaur Consultancy

www.askthechameleon.co.uk www.leaveabetterlegacy.co.uk www.gkaurconsultancy.com
rachel@askthechameleon.co.uk haworth@eggandnest.co.uk admin@gkaurconsultancy.com
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Changemaker Central Property Smiles Nicola Matthews

www.speakerinsight.com www.propertysmiles.org nicolamatthews.co.uk
kelly@speakerinsight.com slphimister@gmail.com hello@nicolamatthews.co.uk
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Charity and
Social Enterprise
The Swap Shop The Luca Foundation Julie McElroy
theukswapshop.co.uk thelucafoundation.org.uk www.juliemcelroy.com
rachel@askthechameleon.co.uk info@thelucafoundation.org.uk juliemcelroy@hotmail.com
01332 232 054 01926 754 076 07870 759480

Street Style Surgery Unique New Adventure

www.streetstylesurgery.co.uk uniquenewadventure.com
sissy@streetstylesurgery.co.uk unarlappin@gmail.com
07793 633003 07872 580732

Revival Sanctuary Virtual Biz Connection

Networking www.revivalsanctuary.co.uk virtualbizconnection.com
enquires@revivalsanctuary.co.uk susan@virtualbizconnection.com

80
 THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
Health
Finance
and Fitness Jo Outram
Financial Ftness Club
Empowered Alignment www.jooutram.com
theea.life joanne@financialfitnessclub.co.uk
align@theea.life 07791 091 599
07873 557 574
Finpert
Primal Nature www.finpert.co.uk
www.primalnature.info contact@finpert.co.uk
primalnature.eml@gmail.com 07541 594 627
07916 125 146
Anna Goodwin Accountancy
Anita Andor www.annagoodwinaccountancy.co.uk
www.anitaandor.com anna@annagoodwinaccountancy.co.uk
info@anitaandor.com 07711 805 183
07976 183631
Willow Brook Lifestyle Financial Planning
Monika Mateja www.willowbrooklfp.co.uk
www.monikamateja.com ceri.willowbrook@sjpp.co.uk
mmateja921@gmail.com 01495 766740
07872 066176

Hynotherapy and NLP

Limitless Transformation My NLP Works Oakes-Wilson Hypnotherapy
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Oxford Spires Hypnotherapy Live Your Life Hypnotherapy Tracey Cole

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Elke Wallace Lynne Page
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Harmony Glass twp111281@hotmail.com
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Heidi McCurdy
Colour & Style Analysis heidimccurdy.com
www.colourstyleanalysis.com coachhmc@telus.net
info@colourstyleanalysis.com 604-538-7154
07773 027 243

81
 Marketing Writing
Jakenna Creative Design Laura Rose Creative Book Brilliance Publishing
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www.thoughtfulinnovations.com The Visuals Adviser Kim Lengling Author
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Deearo Marketing
www.deearomarketing.com Real Good L&G Associates
hello@deearomarketing.com www.realgoodlive.co.uk www.landgassociates.co.uk
THE BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

01763 764334 james@realgoodlive.co.uk hello@landgassociates.co.uk

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Nicci Lou
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Wellbeing www.counsellingonline.ie
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Origin of Energy Coaching Tecassia Publishing
originofenergycoaching.com The Hand of Nature www.tecassia.com
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Jannette Barrett Caron Asgarali
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hochgatterera@aol.com YBU Coaching Debora Luzi
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