Getting to know the

basic laws of
negotiation technique

8s

CONTENTS

In simple terms, what does it

mean?

The basic laws of

negotiation technique
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In simple terms, what does it mean?

A short story to lead us in:

A novice, who had just entered the monastery, asked the abbot: “Is it
permitted to smoke during prayers?”The abbot was rather surprised at this
question and naturally answered: “Of course not, it’s strictly forbidden.”
That evening, the novice went to the chapel for prayers with the other
monks. What do you think he saw? There was an old monk deep in prayer,
smoking his pipe. The novice was beside himself. He could hardly wait for
the end of prayers to accost the old monk:“Brother, how is it that you smoke
during prayers? The abbot has definitely prohibited it.” – “Did you ask
him?” – “Well, yes, of course.” – “How strange,”retorted the old monk,“I also
asked him,and he gave me permission.” Quite indignant about this
injustice, the novice was about to run to the abbot, but the old monk held
him back. “Tell me, what exactly was the question you asked the abbot?” –
“I asked him whether I might smoke during prayers.” – “Oh,I see. I asked
him whether I might pray while smoking.”

Let’s establish a connection with sales.

The sales manager who had no trouble in closing a deal with a customer with
whom a salesperson could get nowhere, recalls that the salesperson said
at the time:“But I told them exactly the same as you did! You got the order,
I didn’t!” – Did the salesperson really say exactly the same thing?

We can say a thing in two ways; to make a good impression, or to make a

bad impression.And indeed there are not just two ways,but many different
ways of saying something. Have you ever considered in how many ways
we can give somebody else new ideas,new impressions? We can speak in
a loud or a soft voice, we can speak slowly or quickly.We can converse,
contend, ask questions. We can flatter, intimidate, menace, request, beg.
We can give examples, mention rumours, awaken hopes etc.

You can paint the devil on the wall by pointing out, for instance: the steady
increase of cancer, of the “manager’s disease”, heart attacks or of traffic
accidents in order to prepare the ground for an insurance policy.

You can draw striking comparisons by asking your prospect, for instance:
“Would reasonable people wait until they are already soaked to the skin
before buying an umbrella?” – when you want to sell burglary insurance.

There are countless paths to a particular goal; there are innumerable ways
of broaching a subject.The important thing is to choose the right approach,
so that we talk like the old monk and not like the novice.

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 Let’s illustrate this with a picture: Imagine the mind of your partner as a
funnel and the facts you want to make clear to them as stones to be
“funnelled”. If these stones happen to be sharp-cornered, it may well be
that one of them gets stuck. You can then try to funnel as many stones as
you want, but not a single one will pass: The funnel is hopelessly blocked.

This can happen to a person who tries to trick somebody and is found out.

After that, not a single point, however truthful, will strike home because
confidence has been destroyed. But even with far less significant mistakes
“clogging” of the funnel may occur.

Therefore stones, to pass easily through the funnel, should be round in

Load the funnel shape.The art of negotiation consists of formulating and presenting all
with round arguments, all ideas and statements, as nicely rounded pebbles.
stones!
If we envisage selling as a mountain trek consisting of the six stages

– Preparation
– First contact
– Presentation and demonstration
– Proposal
– Decision
– Binding co-operation,

then it is the art of negotiation that allows us to move from one stage to the
next. It is the vital component in all steps of the selling process. It’s always
the same, no matter if it concerns the first contact, the presentation or the
binding co-operation after a decision.At certain stages, e.g. at the first
contact, mistakes are particularly serious, but the way in which to talk to a
partner remains the same.

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The basic laws of negotiation technique

How did you act when you sat in your car for the first time? Did you
immediately drive it flat out? Did you swing round the first narrow bend and
pass the first car you met? – If that’s what you did,you risked not only your
own life,but also the lives of your passengers! – No,that’s not the way you
acted! You first tried your car out; you wanted to get used to the
acceleration,braking distance and steering.Your car is subject to rules,
which you had to get to know before you made use of its maximum power.

It is exactly the same with negotiation technique:If you want to master

it fully, you have to be familiar with the art of negotiating.

FIRST LAW
Man is capable of anything.

The person who enjoys the reputation of an honest and respected citizen
today may turn criminal tomorrow. One and the same person can be fair
and unfair, good and bad, actively determined and passively indecisive,
prepared to take risks today and cautious tomorrow. Maybe someone who
was my enemy yesterday, is my friend today.

Depending on the nature and intensity of the stimulus brought to bear upon
them, people will be capable of different things.There is nothing of which
they are not capable. Some single thing may incite a tremendous urge, a
tremendous power: For the thirsty it is a glass of water, for the hungry a
piece of bread.

We can visualise this with a circle representing the human mind.

Man is capable
of anything!

The darts illustrate the mental forces pointing in different directions, which
will never be followed.The star outside is the symbol for something – a
stimulus, an impulse – by which a certain force is activated.

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 A person who says NO today What will knowledge of this law do for us?
can say YES tomorrow.
It teaches us that a discussion partner who at a given moment says NO, may
very well say YES the next moment or maybe tomorrow or the day after.

The more purposeful and determined our discussion partner, the greater the
chance that they will change their mind if we present them with a sufficient
number of good reasons. Only robots or robots in human shape are not subject
to this law!

SECOND LAW
At a given moment, people have only one single concept, one single
thought or one single idea in their head.

Have you ever seen an ape at the zoo lost in thought, looking like Rodin’s
“Thinker”? We doubt it. Apes do not seem to be able to concentrate on any one
thing. They will be distracted by every sound, by every itch, by every movement
of a leaf. Their eyes, their heads and their bodies are continually in motion.

It is much the same with our thoughts, if we make no deliberate effort to

concentrate them on a certain point.We are so easily distracted, our thoughts
roam at random, and from one minute to the next we are unable to remember
what they were.

If you don’t believe it, try a test:

You are reading a book or a newspaper. Think of something else, but continue
to read.You will recognise that you have no memory of what you have read.

This idea is most charmingly expressed by La Fontaine in his fable “Le Corbeau
et le Renard” (The Raven and the Fox):

A raven is sitting in a tree, holding a big piece of cheese in his beak.A fox, who
is after the cheese, addresses him in a most flattering manner, but does not
mention the cheese.On the contrary:“How handsome you are, Mr. Raven! How
I admire you! If your voice is as elegant as your plumage, you are certainly the
king among the creatures of these woods!”
At these words, the raven is overjoyed. In order to give proof of his lovely
voice, he opens his beak wide and lets fall his prey.

What will knowledge of this law do for us?

People can concentrate

Doesn’t it teach us that anything other people may say at a certain moment is
on only one only of relative importance? What they are thinking and expressing is just one
thought at a time! single idea out of thousands of thoughts and ideas lying dormant within
them, waiting to be discovered and brought to life by us.All their energy, rage or
enthusiasm at that moment may be concentrated in one specific thought.Yet
the very next moment, they may turn all their energy to a different idea.

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Anyone who knows about this will never panic if,at the outset of an interview, an
ill-tempered partner utters negative thoughts, i.e. when the wrong darts appear
People are easily distracted!
on the surface of their consciousness.

Here is a typical example from real life:

This case was reported by somebody participating in a sales training. He had

put the law to the test in a rather delicate matter, although he personally was
only partly convinced of its effectiveness.The salesman, let us call him Mr.
Smith, was summoned to customers who were very angry and made no bones
about their dissatisfaction with the equipment and technical service provided
by Mr. Smith’s company. Mr. Smith listened to them attentively and came to
the conclusion that there was only one remedy: to call forth some other idea, to
activate some other dart in the customers’ minds. When they finally paused
from their tirade for a moment, he interjected: “Yes, and when one thinks of
the responsibility you have on your shoulders, especially with so few staff to
help you!” – What do you think happened? For the next 45 minutes, the
exasperated customers went on to talk not about the equipment that did not
work nor about the unsatisfactory support given by the supplier, but about their
own shortage of staff. They seemed to have forgotten all about what they had
on their mind originally. Only towards the end of the interview – and in a friendly
tone – they reverted to the fact that the equipment would have to be put in order.
They even thanked Mr. Smith for the trouble he had taken and were quite
satisfied with his verbal promise that the problem would be dealt with as soon
as possible.

Admittedly, we need a lot of courage to apply this second law consistently. But
it is worth it!

THIRD LAW
Every outside influence stimulates a vision, feelings, which can arouse
certain ideas, desires and finally actions. Every outside influence
stimulates a vision
In other words:The most trifling impression, the most fleeting thought may grow which may lead to action.
into a fixed idea,into an irresistible desire and awaken forces in us, which seek
to become realised through definite action.

Two specific examples of this law in action:

1. A mountain climber scaling a precipitous wall notices an edelweiss. He will

hesitate a moment, for seeing the dangerous situation he is in, he doesn’t dare
try and pick it. However, he cannot help looking once more at the enticing little
star. Another look, and he begins to think how wonderful it would be really to
have picked an edelweiss himself. What was just a whim becomes a fixed idea,
an irresistible desire, and finally turns into an action which has cost many a
mountain climber their life.

2. Something very similar happens to an impatient driver in a long row of cars.

With every minute, the desire to pass all that slow traffic becomes stronger
and stronger, while the thought of the danger and risk involved becomes fainter
and fainter.In the end,the driver will pull out and risk his own life and the lives of
others.
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 What will knowledge of this law do for us?

It tells us that the smallest positive impression, a brief positive or even

affirmative remark by our customer, is a valuable seed that can be made to
grow! We only have to illuminate the little dart over and over again.

What are the ways we can extend these thought darts? There are thousands of
them! Just to quote a few:

1. We can repeat what has been said.

People who take the trouble to repeat the positive statement about their
proposition three or four times, stand a good chance of making a deeper
positive impression than people who don’t bother with repetitions.

In connection with this, another fact – disheartening, yet well worth

remembering – should be mentioned: By tomorrow, your customers will have
forgotten 30 per cent of the features you stressed in presenting your product. In
a week’s time, they will have forgotten 50 per cent.A month later,they will not
remember 70 per cent of your wonderful presentation.

The more often and the more intensively we illuminate the positive darts in the
mind of our partners,the greater our influence and our success in selling.

2. Reinforce with gestures.

3. We can illustrate our words: brochures, graphs, demonstrations with a model,

with the product itself.

4. We can increase the value of our presentation by referring to important users

and exciting applications.

5. We can let others try out, feel or touch our product.

6. We can give a concrete value to our statements by saying: “That means

for you …”

8 7. We can appeal to the customer’s sense of smell.

8. We can appeal to the other person’s sense of taste: In launching a new food
product, an opportunity to taste it is worth more than the most learned
presentation.

These are just a few suggestions on how to elongate darts.

The product as it comes out of the factory is very different from what we offer Elongate darts:
our associate: it is we who convert it from a lump of chocolate into giftwrapped Illuminate a positive
confectionery. From a purely material point of view, an attractive wrapper is thought until it
superfluous; an ordinary paper bag would do. Yet we would never think of becomes an idea, an
bringing our hostess chocolates in a plain paper bag. action!

FOURTH LAW
Our discussion partner is always free to choose!

This means that our partner is free to react to any stimulus in a positive or
negative way.

Our discussion
partner always has the
choice.

Of course,we can “force”you to take notice of this illustration, but even by

prompting suggestively:“Isn’t it easily remembered?” we could not stop you
from thinking that it is a poor example.

What will knowledge of this law do for us? What good is any theory if other
people can think and do or not do what they want?

Indeed: There is no way I can force my partner to do anything. Not even

when I use “forcing” expressions like:“I am convinced that …” – “Certainly you
have …” – “It will certainly interest you …” – “You will recognise …”

Such figures of speech will only betray to the attentive discussion partner my
lack of self-assurance.

This is exactly the central point: My partner has the choice anyway. As long as
he doesn’t want to do something, he doesn’t have to do it.

Instead of asking “What will this law do for us?”, it is better to ask:

“Was it necessary to emphasise that this law exists?”

Most certainly! It happens all too often that a successful company or a

successful businessperson tends to forget that there is no other way – at least Help your partners to
as long as there is competition – to make other people take decisive action convince
than by convincing them. themselves!

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 FIFTH LAW
(A preliminary question: Do you know Camel cigarettes? There is a picture on
the packet. Is the Bedouin riding the camel or is he walking beside it?)

Faced with two alternatives (i.e. two stimuli) people will judge one
Faced with choosing alternative against the other. If we are shown two possibilities, we will for
between two alternatives, the moment overlook the fact that there is also a third, a fourth, usually an
the third possibility is infinite number of other possibilities.
forgotten!
(Answer to the above question: There is no Bedouin on the “Camel” packet)

A few examples of use:

1. A smart salesperson about to make an appointment with an unknown

prospect will not ask:“May I look you up some day?”The question will be:
“Would the beginning or end of next week suit you better?”This still leaves the
partners free to decide whether they want to see the salesperson early in the
week or later, but it is not primarily a question of YES or NO.

2. In the same way, one does not ask:“How many should I send you?”
Instead:“Should I send you 100 or 500?” Perhaps the customers would have
ordered only 20 or 50.They may then decide on 100 (because 500 would be
too many…).

In applying this rule, one soon becomes aware, of course, that there is a
reasonable limit to what is still fair and possible. For instance, if somebody
came up to us, pointed to our car and asked.“Shall I smash your windscreen
or shall I slash your tyres?” We would, of course, answer: “Neither!”

What will knowledge of this law do for us?

Provide a basis It teaches us that if we want to convince somebody of something we should

for comparison! always provide a basis for comparison.If we want to prevent the other from
comparing our offer with that of the competition,we should supply some other
comparison.

SIXTH LAW
Our discussion partner thinks further!

Every idea calls forth new ideas which may well point in a different direction
from the original one.

Our discussion This law gives the answer to the question:How do we get our customers to find
partner thinks further! the right answer for themselves? If we follow this law, we will bring our
customers to the point where they need not admit that we are right, but
experience the satisfaction of our conceding that they are right. More than
that, we will be able to keep on strengthening them in their belief.

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Some examples:

When a car salesman has prospects or customers in his car, he will strictly
observe the speed limits. What will the customers think? They think further:
“He seems to be a responsible sort of man who is trustworthy.” This is not
merely a fleeting impression. The customers are convinced because they did
not hear it from anybody else or even from the salesman, but they came to the
conclusion themselves, it was their discovery!

If the famous Professor So-and-So has his photograph taken in an old suit, the
reaction may well be: “He is a genius and, therefore, has no time to care about
his appearance!”But if the salesman So-and-So puts in an appearance with a
stained tie and dirty fingernails, and he has an odd smell about him, then the
customer thinks further in a different way: “He is probably just as slovenly
in his work. I certainly could not depend on him.”

The limits to the application of this law are set by the need not to give the other
any hint of an underlying purpose. It is a question of tact and the mental
flexibility of the partners to know when this limit is reached.
Caution! Don’t demonstrate
the purpose!
What will knowledge of this law do for us?

It definitely helps us to increase our influence on our associates and

customers. There is nothing more convincing for them than what they find out
for themselves. If we give others the opportunity to think further themselves,
they will be much more impressed than if we tried to impress them.

With seemingly casual remarks we can help our partners think further
and generate new ideas for themselves.

Sometimes, quite unconsciously, we make a chance remark that puts factual Help the customers think
statements into a new context and gives them a different significance. further with casual remarks!

For instance:
– “Published?” – Must be true!
– “Expensive?” – Should be good!
– “One of our customers said…” – Must be true!

SEVENTH LAW
We can only use ideas in someone else’s mind if they are already
present in our own.

In other words:We can only set the customer’s feelings and thoughts vibrating if
they are already vibrating in us. If we lead someone else to a thought, we
generate resonance to our own thought.

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We can only illuminate the But we should have an idea of the thoughts existing in the other person.
darts in someone else’s
mind which are already The target oriented salespeople are like people in a snow-covered
present in our own. landscape:They are in search of a path that will lead them to their des-
tination, and they will follow a track as long as they can. However, when it
leads in the wrong direction, they will start trudging through the deep snow
on their own.

What will knowledge of this law do for us?

We have to be able to identify ourselves with our associates.The better we

know them,the sooner we will lead them to a goal which is our goal as well.
Preparation is the key to Therefore, we have to prepare ourselves very carefully for a meeting.
success! Preparation is the key to success in selling!

EIGHTH LAW
To our partners everything is positive which confirms their view of life
and brings them nearer to their personal idol.

To quote André Maurois: “Everything which is in harmony with our

personal wishes makes us happy; everything else is an irritation!”

Of what does a person’s idol consist?

– What they would really like to have: a dream car,a country house, an
ocean-going yacht, a partner who other people admire, more spare
time etc.

– What they would really like to do (but don’t yet do): e.g. enjoy more
hobbies.

– Finally, what they would really like to be (but aren’t yet).

“Positive” is what
brings a person They will gladly do anything that will help them prove they are the person
nearer to their idol! they would really like to be.That means: the weighter the decision with
which our partner is faced, the more necessary it is to show them that our
proposition lies on the road they have to follow to achieve their idol.

Idol

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The concept is exactly expressed in the following:“I find it depressing
when I think of who I could have been.”

There is a wealth of sadness in this short sentence! So it’s no wonder that

we human beings will do anything, any stupid thing under the sun, if it helps
us to prove to ourselves and to others that we are already the person we
would really like to be. And are we not ready to believe in anything which
gives us the self-confirmation we so desperately need? And are we not
eager to find anything appealing which confirms to us that we are already
further along the road towards our better self than we imagined and that
our secret doubts in our own ability were not justified? Our better self, our
idol, the person we would really like to be:This is the objective of all human
beings.

The advertising industry makes successful use of this. For example:

“If you think beer is just beer, then drink any one. How nice it is that there
are people who are able to distinguish.”

“HIGHER – higher, further, limitless

A glance,an energy flow, a heart beat – the attractive power of this man is
limitless.” (Dior)
Which man could resist this argument?

A BMW advertisement suggests to the buyer how flexible, lively, sporty,

discerning and supreme he will appear when driving a BMW. The reason
why people continue to buy this car is not it’s price, but rather the driver’s
“desired” personality.

What will knowledge of this law do for us?

It tells us the difference between a “positive” and a “negative” mental dart:

All customers, team members, colleagues or associates have a more or
less definite idea of what suits them, of what they like, of what would be
desirable for them. If we want to put over our viewpoint, our product, our What we say must fit into our
proposition, we must be sure to draw a picture of it that fits into their partner’s concept of things!
concept of things and lies along the road they must follow to achieve their
Idol.

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 Which points in this text do I consider to be the most important ones …

… and what do they mean for me, in practice?

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