The Menaechmi Script for Directing Class

(Papasok si Messenio, may tunog ng mga palakpak; siya ay mauupo)

Messenio: Goodmorning everyone! And welcome back to The Maury Povach Show. The show
that explores compelling relationship and family issues. Now, we have a very heavy case on our
hands. We have Menaechmus Epidamnum, and Menaechmus Sosicles. A suspected separated
twins! Now, (To Sosicles) That man is an impostor, Sir or else he’s your twi brother. For I never
saw two men, one like the other so exactly. And both claims too the same father. Now, may i ask
a few questions?

Sosicles: Beseech you, give me further assistance.

Messenio: (To Epidamnum) What is your name?

Epidamnum: Menaechmus is my name.

Messenio: So is his. In sicily You said that you were born, a citizen of Syracuse. Why, there he
was born too. You’ve likewise said that Moschus was your father. Why, so was his. Now, in the
power of both of you to assist me; And, in assisting me, to assist yourselves.

(Music)

Epidamnum: You have deserv’d so much of me, that what you ask, you may command. Free as
I am, I’ll serve you, just as if I was your slave.

Messenio: I hope you’re just upon the point of finding that you’re twin brothers, born at the same
time, sons of one father, and one mother too.

Epidamnum: You mention wonders. Would you could effect that which you’ve given
reassurance of.

Messenio: I can. Come now, to that which I shall ask of you, both answer me.

Epidamnum: Ask when you please, I shall answer. And not conceal one jot of what i know.

Messenio: Is then your name Menaechmus?

Epidamnum: Yes, I own it.

Messenio: And yours the same?

Sosicles: It is.
Messenio: You also say your father’s name was Moschus.

Epidamnum: Yes, I do.

Sosicles: It is.

Messenio: Are you of Syracuse?

Epidamnum: Most certainly.

Messenio: And you?

Sosicles: No doubt of it.

Messenio: Hitherto all the marks agree right well. But let’s go on. What’s the most distant thing
you recollect to have happened in your country?

Epidamnum: The going with my father to Tarentum. It’s way of merchandising: in the crowd my
straying from my father; after that, my being hither bought.

Sosciles: Preserve me, Jupiter!

Messenio: Why that exclamation? Hold your peace. How old were you then?

Epidamnum: 7, for what I remember. Just at that time my teeth began to shed, nor from that
time have I ever seen my father.

Messenio: How many children had your father?

Epidamnum: Two, If I remember right.

Messenio: Were you or he older?

Epidamnum: We were both of the same age.

Messenio: How can that be?

Epidamnum: We both were twins.

Sosicles: The Gods are pleased to bless me!

Messenio: If you interrupt me, get the hell out of my show!

Sosicles: Pardon me.

Messenio: Say, had you both one name?

Epidamnum: Not so. My name was, ‘tis now, Menaechmus. But my brother they named
Sosicles.

Sosicles: I own the proofs, I cannot hold out longer. I’ll embrace him. My brother, my twin
brother, hail! ‘Tis I am Sosicles.

Messenio: (Magbubulong sa gilid) I just received the DNA results that you participated in. And,
drum roll please…. YOU ARE TWINS!!!! (Kukuha ng panyo at aakmang umiiyak)