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Emma Maloney

English 12, P.1

Ms.Acosta

2020 October 7th

A kids worst nightmare

In the seventh grade all kids have to worry about is homework and what outfit to wear

the next day and life wasn't so hard for them. On the other hand I was struggling to adjust to the

new changes in my life, I went from having to worry about little to nothing to almost everything.

But things were starting to easy up on me and it was all good till that one day, that one doctors

appointment. The doctor's appointment wasn't for me, it was worse for me, it was my mother's

doctor's appointment. It was one of the worst days of my life because of those nine words the

doctor said that day that i've learned to hate from the bottom of my heart, “ When are we going

to talk about this cancer?” she said to my mother. My heart sunk and life smacked me in the face,

at the age twelve you are only supposed to worry about a few things: school, chores and what

outfit to wear the next day. At the age of twelve you aren't supposed to worry about losing your

mother.

Let's rewind 3 months earlier to where it all started. It was a saturday afternoon and i

came into my parents room and my mom wasn't gone like she normally would be, seeing she

worked afternoons in the casinos on saturday. My dad rushed me and my little brother out the

room and told us she wasn't feeling good so we played and waited till dinner time when she first

woke up and called us. She didn't look well and asked if we could bring her some water so we

ran out the room and got her some water, but then she drank the water and told us she loved us

and went back to bed. I went to bed not knowing that was gonna be the last time i would talk or
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see her in the next week and the last time i would only have to worry about a few things. The

next day I woke up to my dad waking me up telling me he was taking my mother to the hospital

because he thought she had food poisoning from ihop. He came back that night and told me mom

was at the E.R and that she was gonna spend a night or two at the hospital. Fast Forward 3 days

and i've seen my dad a total of 3 times and mom a total of 0. Throughout the day now I have to

make sure my little brother is ready for school and ready before I leave, i've picked up more

house chores and put my cooking skills to the test.

That Friday after school my dad was home and asked how mom was and he told me that

me and my brother were going to see her today and I was so happy to finally see my mom. When

we got to the hospital the lights were dim and the hallways were cold it wasnt full and it felt

horrible being there. We walked into her room and she smiled and opened her arms for a hug, we

stayed there for about 2 hours till mom said dad should take us home and make us dinner. I didn't

wanna leave. I just wanted to stay there with her all night and not leave her alone. Till she looked

at me and said, “its even scarier here at night baby girl.” that was my que to leave so I kissed her

head and left. Now i don't remember much after that point till the day i came home and she was

sitting on the sofa eating chicken biscuits watching netflix. She told me that her doctor said she

can not eat anything with Calcium in it because her calcium levels were too high and it could

stop her heart. She stayed home a lot she went to doctors appointments when I was at school so

we could have more time together. Everytime we would go to the store to get food, I'd search

through what was in it to see if she could eat it or not. Then one day she said let's drive down to

my work so we drove all the way down town to the D las vegas. We walked over to the paycheck

area and she asked for her last paycheck. They asked “what do you mean last paycheck Patty is

everything okay” my mom smiled and just said “ she fired me for not being able to go to work
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for a little”. They handed her the check and waved me goodbye but I was happy mom didn't have

to go to work anymore. She always was working and even on her days off her boss called her in

and I barely ever got to see her.

I started going to as many doctor's appointments as I could with her after school, on the

weekends early morning late evenings. The last appointment i went to was on a saturday, it was

on the other side of town so mom decided to go get us some pops. Our favorite place in town we

got the normal and shared it as always, a number 4 no onion or pepper extra meat. We ate there

because the cold mist on our skin felt good and it got us out of the dry heat. After we finished

eating we still had a while so we went to meadows mall and walked around and smelled all the

candles in bath and body works. But the time finally came and we had to go to the doctors

office,the first doctor's office went quickly they sat and talked and he told her that her results

were in but we had to go to a different doctors office to get told the results. Mom was a little

flustered and we left the doctors office and drove to the next place we sang along to the songs on

the radio. When we hit a stop light and what seemed like ages waiting my mom reached to the

back seat and grabbed a music disk and put it in. The first song was our favorite song ‘If i ever

fall in love’ by shai, we jammed along with it like we always did, we rolled our windows down

and started singing it to the cars next to us till the light changed. Then shortly after we pulled up

to the doctors office.

When we walked in it was dark and cold it felt like a gloomy place as if its where they

sent people for bad news. We got to the waiting room and my mom checked in as we sat and

waited. A nurse pass by and my mom whispered in my ear,

” Thats the nurse that i don't like because she can never put the iv in right”.

I whispered back,” how rude of here“

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We both giggled alittle. Then this lady came out with long black hair tied up in a ponytail

and she had beautifully tan color skin and hazelnut brown eyes but a nasty look on her face. She

called my mother and we followed her into the room, i sat on a chair and kinda bent over and

played angry birds. The lady left the room to go get the papers, when she came back she did a

quick check up on my mom then sat there talking for a minute. Then she paused and looked at

me then my look with a nasty face as if she knew it would crush me. She looked at my mom and

said those 9 words i still hate till this day together

“When are we going to talk about this cancer?”

That moment was as if the whole world stopped and my heart skipped a beat, I looked up at my

mom and my mom looked at me. I remember thinking to myself,

”be strong for her emma.”

I jerked my head back down and bit my quivering lip and held back the tears. I didn't hear any

other part of that appointment i was too busy trying not to cry my eyes out . All i remember is

thinking to myself,

“What am i gonna do if she dies, ill have to live with grandma. I don't wanna lose her i barely see

her already and now i'm never gonna see her again… i wish i would just wake up and this would

all be a bad dream.” I paused for a second and thought,” please be a bad dream” as i pinched

myself i wanted to burst out crying right there , because it wasn't a bad dream it was reality. I

hated reality i hated the thought of having to go the rest of my life without her.

The ride home was long and quite i just glared out the window as tears rolled down my

cheeks. Every so often my mom look at me and rub my arm or leg, every now and then id look at

her and see tears rolling down her cheek.We got home and sat in the driveway for a minute in

silence then my mom said,

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“ I'm sorry baby girl she knew i didn't know therefore you didn't know and she still said it it

loudly and in front of you.” i responded with,

“ I didn't cry so you didn't end up crying mom”

She pulled me close to her and kissed my head and i start crying as if there was tomorrow., i felt

a her tears drop off her face onto me. We both pulled away from each other and whipped our

tears off. “Well i think we should make nachos tonight” she said and i giggled.

Those weeks after words were probably the worst weeks for my mental health, but I

didn't realise something. Number 1 being: appreciate the things you have in life because one day

you might not have them anymore. Number 2: always go for the leap in life because you don't

want regret not doing it later on. Number 3: life doesn't care who you are it will always try to tear

you apart, so be strong enough to put yourself back together. Number 4: live your life to the

fullest, no one is here for a long time.