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Allison Dixon

English 1201

Waggoner

21 March 2021

How does parental involvement affect a child as they develop?

As a child grows up, they learn everything they need to know about life from their

parents, from how to tie their shoes to how to walk. As a child reaches the age that is old enough

to attend their first school, each parent goes through a variety of different emotions. Some

parents' main feeling is that they are sad that their child is becoming less dependent on their

support and instead relying on their teachers and classmates to help them learn more. Other

parents feel excited and happy that their child is not as dependent on their advice anymore. Both

emotions are normal and most of the time there can be a mixture. Luckily, I was able to grow up

where my parents were feeling a very healthy mix of these emotions. They were always there for

me whenever I needed. When I was old enough to join my first sports team they immediately

signed me up because they knew I could learn a lot from being in a team setting. My parents

were still together all throughout my childhood and that made things for me and my sister a lot

easier and it helped them stay more involved. My dad was my basketball coach from 3rd-8th

grade and loved getting to teach me and my friends the game that he loved to play. My mom was

at every one of my games, watching me and cheering me on. They both also volunteered often at

school functions such as, Halloween and Christmas parties and even school plays. No matter

what I did, they made sure that my homework was my main priority. They helped me study for

tests and learn how to do my math flashcards. When it comes to schooling, some of the kids I

knew growing up never had their parents care about what they would do with their school work
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or how they treated anyone at school. They said their parents thought that it was up to the

educators at our school to figure out how to make them do the work. However, the role of a

parent does not stop as soon as another support system comes into play. This is where a lot of

parents go wrong. Parental involvement affects a child in many areas of their life such as in

education, mental health and physical health.

Parental involvement can look different to each and every family and some might not

even know exactly what it is. Some obstacles that a family might have to overcome to make sure

that their child is receiving the attention they need, include divorce, death, or low income. The

United States has statistically always had a higher number of single-parent homes compared to

any other country. According to the Pew Research Center’s new study, “of 130 countries and

territories shows that the U.S. has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent

households.”. Being young, the child does not truly understand the meaning of a divorce and

might find it as a way to get out of responsibilities, such as school work.

Another tragic but very common reason that parental involvement throughout the years

has been difficult for some families is the death of a parent. Around 5% of children in the United

States are said to have lost one or both of their parents by the age of 15. Growing up without a

parent is hard and without both parents can truly change how a child copes under difficult

circumstances. Before the age of 15, not being able to see both parents every day is tough and

not ideal. This makes the parent who is now the only provider for their child, feel an

overwhelming amount of pressure to make sure their child is supported and successful. When

both parents are in low income jobs or out of work this is when the pressure is truly there. It is

very difficult for a parent to be very present with their child’s life and work 10 hours a day. This

can cause the parents to send their child to after school programs and not be able to pick them up
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until after dinner. The responsibility of a child’s development can not be placed into just one set

of hands though.

Many parents, as the child goes through school, thinks that the responsibility of their

child’s education is in the hands of the teachers and the teachers only. This, however, is a

common misunderstanding. When there is support beyond inside the school, the child will be

more willing to hold themself accountable to get their work done effectively. Parental

involvement in education is crucial, “No matter their income or background, students with

involved parents are more likely to have higher grades and test scores, attend school regularly,

and have better social skills” (Brooks). This is very noticeable when you go into a nonprofit

organization for after school care for low-income families. These low-income parents spend most

of their time at work trying to make money to support their children and do not have time to sit

down and help their child learn. Instead, the parents put all their trust into the educators at the

school their child is attending. Their lack of emotional and physical support with their child’s

education can lower the students class rankings in many different ways.

A typical high school student already does not have as much motivation as previous

years, but how a parent gets involved with their young adults education can help them achieve

higher goals than they would have reached otherwise. It becomes harder for a parent to get

involved as their child grows, but there are other ways that a parent can do to ensure that their

child can have the most successful high school experience. According to Taylor, “The parenting

practices that seemed to have the most impact on high school students' success were helping with

their student’s homework, attending school programs, watching the student in sports or other

extracurricular activities, helping the student to select courses, and remaining informed about

student’s progress in school”. In the results from their studies, it seemed to show exactly what
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they had predicted, that student’s with higher parental involvement had higher grade point

averages. In an interview with my cousin Matt Hollon, he shares how a divorce affected his

grades in school. “When I was growing up, I went to Edgewood and I was always at the top of

my class. I knew all my multiplication facts before everyone else and I was able to read

advanced books at an early age compared to others”. Matt during this time was growing up in a

happy family with both parents married and he was the only child, therefore received a lot of

attention from both parents. Matt states, “When I heard that my parents were getting divorced I

immediately thought of all the things that were going to change in my life: houses, rooms,

holidays, birthdays. But I never once thought that my education would be affected by my parents

divorce”. Education is a very common part of life to dismiss as you think about the ways a child

could be affected by their households and the attention they receive from their parents. Matt

continues, “Going back and forth from house to house each day was very different and became

very difficult for me to keep track of where I kept my things. I found myself searching for hours

for papers I knew I did, just to realize I did them in my other room at my mom’s house”. This all

happened to Matt during the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, therefore creating another

stressor to his very different lifestyle. “I lost all interest in activities I once loved and did not

want to be home often and found myself not wanting to be home much. I started working from

the moment I got out of school until closing, this made for little to no time to study or do

homework which also helped plummet my grades”, Matt said. Finding distractions is a very

common way for kids and teens to help themselves cope with the difficult changes going from a

two-parent household to one. In this case, the distractions ended up trying to fill a void for Matt,

causing him to no longer be able to focus on his grades or his relationship with anyone.
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One of the worst parts about less parental involvement in education is that it can go past

education and into the personality of the child. The children with more behavioral issues and low

social skills are more likely to have little to no parental involvement (El Nokali). When the

child’s parents are not involved then it makes the child feel as if they are free to do whatever they

want without punishment at their house hold. In studies by Peters he states, “Therefore, students

whose parents are involved in their education tend to do better in school, exhibit positive and

low-risk behaviors, and associate with peers who hold similarly high standards for performance”.

This shows that parental involvement can create a whole personality for their child just through

being there for them and being involved in their life. At the Boys and Girls Club, an after school

program for children in poverty, this is a very prevalent issue. At their club, most of the children

are neglected from educational help from their parents. Most of the parents put almost all of their

reliance on the teachers and the helpers at the Boys and Girls Club to shape their children into

good people or oftentimes worse, they just do not care. When their children see that their parents

don’t care, they find no point in acting a certain way. Many children at the club, get in fights at

school regularly and when a parent-teacher conference is needed, the parent does not care

enough to show up, causing the child to continue their actions repetitively.

Although it is hard to say what part of parental involvement exactly benefits a child, it is

very easy to see in the statistics that the child is definitely better in school. When a parent is

involved and even does small things such as, asking engaging questions about the school day or

showing a positive attitude towards education in general, you see a rise in motivation and an

increase in confidence. When a parent is involved in their child’s education it helps the teacher

know that the rules and expectations are being enforced throughout the day at home as well so

that the child does not take their schooling as a joke. This is more important in younger children
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but there are different effects on high school students as well. A teacher can see quite easily how

much a child’s parent cares by how much their study habits increase throughout the year. It is

often associated with very mischievous behavior and very poor hygiene, this makes the teacher

have to follow protocol to report this form of neglect.

Especially in a single-parent household, there was a huge rise in mental health issues. In a

study done by Thaddues J Peters, found from tests with his participants, “Symptoms of major

depression, anxiety disorders and substance dependence”. These symptoms seem to hit harder as

the child in the single-parent household grows up. It makes them feel hopeless and that they will

end up alone as their parents did. Classmate, Logan Imhoff, has shared with me during an

interview, his experiences with single-parent households. “I spent most of my life in

single-parent households and it was normal for me. As I grew up and was able to spend the night

at friends houses, I found myself wondering why my parents couldn't have made it work like all

my friends' parents have. Their separation has made me a more guarded person as a whole and

more hesitant to open up to others. I think that if it were not for their separation, I would have

been more outgoing growing up and more open to different types of people”. Logan’s

experience caused his personality to change and shaped him into the person he is today.

Situations such as these have sadly lead to higher suicide rates in adults that grew up in these

single-parent households. They felt as if they were too dependent on their drugs or alcohol and

felt alone, with no support system.

Some may argue that single-parent households may be better for a child than two-parent

households. There may be cases where a parent can single handedly provide for their child in

better ways on their own than with another person. This may be true but the effects of not having

both parents, is still very prevalent. You gain knowledge from both of them, and you can see how
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a loving and caring relationship is supposed to look like. In an interview with classmate, Charlie

Vidourek, he shares what it is like to live in a one-parent household. Charlie said, “Growing up,

my childhood was normal. I lived at home with my sister and both of my parents and never had

much to worry about”. This is often how children start their life and suddenly life changes when

the news of a divorce or death arises. “When my parents told me and my sister that they were

separating it was heart-breaking, but we knew that it was for the best. However what we did not

know was that our mom was moving to Indiana to live, making it impossible to split time with

both of our parents” said Vidourek. When children have to deal with split custody over them,

they still get to experience parts of life with both parents but this was not the case for Charlie.

Charlie lives full time with his dad and gets to see his mom on occasional weekends or whenever

they are both free. Growing up like this is difficult and brings about a lot of stress and questions

as you grow up. When asked what he learned from his parents' relationship and the way he grew

up he said, “I find myself being more grateful for the time I spend with my family because

although my mom hasn't passed away, I know that the circumstances could change at any time”.

The way a parent is involved with their child's life does not always show as a positive. 1

in every 7 children experience abuse every year, “Maltreatment can cause victims to feel

isolation, fear, and distrust, which can translate into lifelong psychological consequences that can

manifest as educational difficulties” (Brooks). These long lasting effects can lead to problems in

education and problems creating lasting and genuine relationships. The neglect from a parent can

cause many mental illnesses as seen in the results from the quote above. Neglect is when a child

is not having their needs met by their caregiver and instead they have to cope with what they are

given. Most children that have been neglected find themselves not able to thrive within any

aspect of life. They get a sense that they have little to no worth and that no matter how hard they
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try it will not meet expectations. Along with this comes the issues of relationships. Those who

grew up neglected often find it hard to commit to a relationship. They run away when they find

that they are getting emotionally attached and dependent on this person because of the fear that

they will be left or neglected like they were in the past. They will withdraw from friendships or

family and activities that they once enjoyed. After removing themselves from the people and

activities that made them who they are they oftentimes find themselves leaning on substances to

fill that void. Alcohol and drug abuse skyrockets as the neglected child grows up and needs

something to cope with the past.

When a teenager is finally old enough to realize how different their situation of neglect is

compared to others, they may find ways to escape their family. Many female girls will get

pregnant at a young age to get out of a neglected family. They think that if they have someone

depending on them they will not have to be as dependent on their family anymore. More than
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half the time that is not the case, instead they bury themselves into a deeper hole where they will

have to neglect their child in order to provide for them financially. This creates an endless cycle

and it often is hard to escape from.

When a child is neglected there are many lasting effects on their physical health. The

worst effects come from early childhood neglect. Being deprived from the correct amount of

food portions and not having enough fluids in them can obviously be detrimental to the overall

development of the child. “Neglect is usually suspected when such infants demonstrate

significant weight gain following hospital admission or child removal from the family''. (Peters).

This type of neglect has a very serious effect on the child long term. Their weight is most likely

to stay way above the average for their age and height or way below the average. After being

malnourished it is hard to become as healthy as you should.

Some things that varied throughout the sources I read, was that too much parental

involvement can also lead to detrimental effects as well. Some of the sources I read stated that

there was no such thing as too much parental involvement. However, in a source by Wendy

Taylor she disagrees, “Overbearing parents that micromanage, handhold, and make excuses on

behalf of the child can be as detrimental as the parents who are absent all together”. When

parents are this involved, it does not give the student enough room to grow and develop into their

own person who can stand up for themselves. This can also cause grade point averages to lower,

due to not being able to do anything on their own. Being a child of an overprotective parent can

cause the child to lose touch with their emotions because they listen to the emotions that their

parents are telling them to feel. The child is more likely to end up suffering from social anxiety

issues due to not being used to confrontation. They avoid the situations where they feel they are

vulnerable because their parents used to be the ones to get involved. A parent does not become
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over protective with the intention of hurting their child, instead it is the complete opposite. They

feel they are protecting their child from the outside world hurting them. Instead they are not

letting the child grow and create their own experiences and learn from their own mistakes. This

leads them to doubt all their choices and feel the need to ask their parents for what to do when

any decision arises in their life, big or small.

Parental involvement in a child’s life as they grow is very important. It is very easy to see

that the way a child ends up as an adult definitely has a correlation with how they were raised

and the involvement of both parents. In retrospect, it is hard to exactly say what makes the

perfect amount of parental involvement, but too much or too little can easily impact a child for

the better or for the worse. Not only does parental involvement just affect a child’s education,

mental health and physical health, but it goes beyond that into much more. A child with less

parental involvement is more likely to be in the lower half in the classroom, be more disruptive,

and be more likely to be a less involved person. The different levels of parental involvement

include, overprotectiveness, the combination, and neglection and it is very hard for a parent to

find the perfect happy medium. Each of these come with different outcomes for a child as they

become an adult and oftentimes they bring their parents' way of raising them into their own

children's life without any recognition. Being a child of neglect, there are many different ways

that it can bring out the worst outcomes. Being neglected can be seen as a form of emotional and

physical abuse and can have lasting problems that may be taken with them into their future

relationships and into the way they raise their children. With a lot of stakes on the line such as

depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses and also their view on life it is hard to not feel the

pressure when becoming a new parent.

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Works Cited

Ansari, Arya, and Anna J. Markowitz. “Can Parents Do It All? Changes in Parent Involvement

from 1997 to 2009 among Head Start Families.” Children and Youth Services Review,

vol. 120, Jan. 2021. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1016/j.childyouth.2020.105780.

Brooks, Ashley. “Experts Discuss the Importance of Positive Parental Involvement in

Education.” Rasmussen University, 18 Nov. 2019,

www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/education/blog/parental-involvement-in-education/.

El Nokali, Nermeen E, et al. “Parent Involvement and Children's Academic and Social

Development in Elementary School.” Child Development, U.S. National Library of

Medicine, 2010, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2973328/.

Hollon, Matt. Personal interview. 21 March 2021.

Imhoff, Logan. Personal interview. 16 March 2021.

“Neglect Is The Most Prevalent Form of Child Maltreatment”. Harvard University, 1 October

2009, https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/neglect/

Peters, Thaddues J. “Parental Involvement: How Does It Relate to Student Behavior and

Academic Success?.” ProQuest LLC, ProQuest LLC. 789 East Eisenhower Parkway, P.O.
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Box 1346, Ann Arbor, MI 48106. Tel: 800-521-0600; Web Site:

Http://Www.proquest.com/En-US/Products/Dissertations/Individuals.shtml, 30 Nov.

2011, eric.ed.gov/?id=ED550004.

Shonkoff, Jack. “Neglect” Harvard University,

Taylor, Wendy. “Parent Involvement: How Much Is Too Much?” Learning Essentials, Wendy

Taylor

Https://Learningessentialsedu.com/Wp-Content/Uploads/2018/07/Learning-Essentials-He

ader-logo2.Png, 13 Feb. 2016,

learningessentialsedu.com/parent-involvement-how-much-is-too-much/.

Vidourek, Charlie. Personal interview. 18 March 2021.