Si

yaandFi
fi
'sLov
eSt
ory

Season2

97
Siy
awassi gnedinasLieut
enant,
andwe
hostedacelebr
ator
ydinnerforhi
m andsome
coll
eagues.

Ineverreal
lyreali
zedwhatabi gdealhi
s
promot i
onwas, unti
lthatveryday.Isawhow
ever
y oneadoredhim andpr aisedtheworkhe
haddonesi nceenteri
ngt heforce.

Itki
ndofembarrassedmetot hinkofhowmuch
Iwantedhimtoleavethef
orce.Icanalmost
guaranteet
hathewouldhaver esent
edmefori
t
i
nt helongr
un.
Olwet
hohadmovedbackwi
thLinda.AndSi
ya
andIhadmovedi
ntohi
sorshouldIsayour
homeinSandt
on.

I
twasst i
llabitdi
ff
icul
tformet ogetusedto
theideathatIownedhalfofevery
thi
ngthat
Siyaowned.Butmay bewithti
meIwoul dget
usedt ot
heidea.Whoknows?

Mam Mar
thaandThembi
hadbot
hcomeback
t
oSAwithus.

Iwasn’
texact
lyfondofSiya’
shousekeeper
si
ncesheseemedl it
tl
etoclosewi
thSiya’
s
motherf
ormyl i
king.Sowemov edhertoCuba
andwemov edMam Mar thaandThembi toSA
Todaywasmyf i
rstdayatNdhl
ovuCor
p.Ihad
myfir
stev
erboardmeet i
ngandtobehonestI
wasasnervousashell
.

ILookedatmysl eepi
ngli
eutenantandsmil
ed
athowf arwehadcome.WhoknewwhenIf i
rst
methim, thatwewouldhavesurvi
vedsomany
obstacl
es?Si y
ahadmanagedt ohelpmatur
e
me.

Ihadalwaysthoughtwewoul dhaveourvery
ownhappilyeveraft
er.ButwhatInowreali
zeis
thatnorel
ati
onshipisperf
ect.I
t’
snotabout
howmanyt imeswef all
,butabouthowmany
ti
meswedeci dewear ewor t
hfight
ingf
or.

Si
yawokeupandl
ookedatme

Hi
m;andt
hatsmi
l
e?
Me;
justcount
ingmybl
essi
ngs 
Hi
m;am Ioneoft
hem?
Me;
you’
reatt
hev
eryt
op 
Hi
m;all
weneednowist
ohav
eli
tt
leones
r
unni
ngaroundher
e 
Me;
ok.Conv
ersat
ionov
er 
Him;(chuckl
es)y
ouandIar
en’
tget
ti
ngany
younger 
Me;Siya,I
’m onl
y26.You’
retheonewho’s
gett
ingold.Andbythewayincaseyouforgot
,
YOU’VEjustmademeCEO.Ican’ tgohavea
babynow
Hi
m;sowhatt
imel
i
near
ewel
ooki
ngather
e?
Me;
may
bewecanst
artt
ryi
ngwhenIt
urn30
Hi
m;haai
Rif
il
oe.I
’
llbenear
ly40byt
hen 
Me;
stopexagger
ateYou’
l
lbe38
Hi
m;exact
lymypoi
nt 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;Haababy .You’
renotbeingf
air
.Plusyou
knowtheysaythattheolderamanages,the
val
ueofhissperm decr
easesaswell 
Me;(
chuckl
es)sowewi l
lsavet
hem atasper
m
bankorwhatevert
hei
rcall
ed 
Hi
m;ngeke.Nev
er.Youmustbemad 
Me;haai
,youseenow.Thi
sistheprobl
em wi
th
marr
yingoldmen.Youguy
saren’topento
modernmedici
ne 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)soI
’
m ol
dnow 
Me;yep.It
hinkIshoul
dcal
lyouUncl
eBae
goi
ngforward 
Him;
callmethatagai
n,andI
llf
li
ppi
ngt
ickl
e
yout
il
lthesungoesdown
Me;
you’
renof
un 
Hi
m;Il
i
ket
ohav
efuni
not
herway
s 
Me;
ok.I
’
m outofher
e
It
ri
edget
ti
ngup,
butSi
yahel
dmeback

Hi
m;exact
lyhowl
ongdoy
oupl
anonpuni
shi
ng
me 
Me;
I’
m notpuni
shi
ngy
ou 
Hi
m;baby
,it
sbeen2mont
hsal
ready
 
Me;
Siy
awespokeaboutt
hismos 
Him;Iknowwedi
d,buti
tdoesn’
tmaket
hings
anyeasier
 
Me;wehaveourfi
rstsessi
onwit
hthemar
ri
age
counci
l
lort
oday
.May bewitht
ime 
Hi
m;l
ordhel
pme 
Me;
whydon’
tyou(
clear
sthr
oat)Youknow
Hi
m;sayit
.Iwantt
oheary
out
ell
met
ofl
i
ppi
ng
mast
urbat
e 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;Ri
fi
loewe’remarr
ied.Ir
efuset
othatwhen
Ihav
eaf ul
lycapabl
ewife 
Me;
speaki
ngaboutmar
ri
ed.Igotacal
lfr
om
myaunt
 
Hi
m;don’
ttr
ychangi
ngt
hesubj
ect
 
Me;
(si
gh)Siya.I
’
mtr
yingokay
.It
’sj
ustr
eal
l
y
r
eal
l
ydiff
icul
t 
Him; soy
oumeant ot
ellmeyouareokwi t
hus
havingasexl
essmarr
iagef
orhowev erl
ongit
takesyoutogetov
erwhathappened 
Me;
don’
tputi
tli
ket
hat
 
Him;doyouhaveanyi
dea,howdiffi
culti
tisto
wakeupnexttoyouweari
ngbasicall
ynothing.
Andyouexpectmenottotryany
thing 
Me;Si
ya,
Idon’
tknowwhatel
sey
ouwantmet
o
do.
 
Hi
m;Iwanty
out
ost
opki
l
li
ngmet
hat
’swhat
 
Me;
I’
m goi
ngt
oshower
IgaveSi
y aakissonhi scheek,andwenttothe
bathr
oom.Iwasn’ treal
lyi
nthemoodt odiscuss
thi
stopi
cf ur
ther
.Siy aj
ustneededtogiv
eme
ti
me.Isthatreal
lytoomucht oaskfor?

Siyajoi
nedmei ntheshowerandIimmedi
atel
y
tensed.Idon’
tknowwhatitwaswithme,but
everyti
mehet ouchedmeIfroze.

Hi
m;r
elax.I
’
m notgoi
ngt
otr
yany
thi
ng 
Me;
Si
Hi
m;for
geti
t.Iknowy
ou’
ret
ryi
ngt
ogetov
er
ev
ery
thi
ng

Il
etoutasighfini
shedcleaningmy sel
f,t
hen
wenttogetdressed.I
tjustfel
ttooawkwar dt
o
bearoundSiy
ai ntheshower ,af
terthe
conv
ersat
ionwej
usthad.

Igott
othecl
oset,
andpull
edanavypantsui
t
andawhit
eformalshi
rt
,andmynavyhil
l
s. 
Igotdr
essed,di
dmyhairandmakeup,
andthen
wentcheckifMam Mar
thahadmadebreakf
ast
.

WhenIgottotheki
tcheni
tsmel
l
edasgoodas
i
tal
waysdid. 
Igreet
edmam Mart
ha,
thenwentt
othedi
ning
room t
ohavebr
eakf
ast
.

Idecidedt ohaveMuesl i
andPl ai
nGr eeky ogur
t
withabi tofhoney.Ihadgainedabi tofwei ght
overthef esti
veseason,myclothesst i
lll
ooked
ok,butIcoul dfeel
theywereget t
ingtighter.
Andmyst omachwasn’tastonedasi tusedt o
be.Soi twast i
met oloseweightandt oneup
again.
WhenSiyacametoj
oinmeforbr
eakfast
,he
l
ookedatmyfoodandshookhi
shead 
Hi
m; soy
ou’
reser
iousaboutt
hisl
osi
ngwei
ght
t
hing 
Me;babe,
haveyouseenhowf
atIhav
egot
ten?
I
’v
egained6kg’
s
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
You’
renotf
at
Me;
Isoam.
 
Hi
m;Il
i
key
oul
i
ket
hisany
way
 
Me;meani
ngy
oudi
dn’
tli
kemewhenIwas
t
hinner
 
Hi
m;Ishoul
dn’
thav
eev
ensai
dany
thi
ng
Me;no,
nodon’
tev
ent
hinkaboutbacki
ngout
now
Him;babe.Il
oveyouasyouare.Butifyouf
eel
l
ikeyouneedtolosewei
ght,
thenI’
llsuppor
t
you 
Me;
soy
ou’
l
lgoonadi
etwi
thme?
 
Hi
m;Idi
dn’
tsayt
hat
Me;
itwoul
dmakemyl
i
feeasi
eri
fyoudi
d 
Hi
m;butbaby
,whenhav
eyouev
erseenaZul
u
manonadiet
?
Me;mar
ababy
,ify
ouwentonthedi
etwi
thme,
i
twoul
dhel
pkeepmeontrack.
 
Hi
m;haai
Rif
il
oe.Nomaan 
Me;
please
Him;butyouknowhowmuchIl ov
emyf ood.
Howcany ouwanttopuni
shmel i
ket
hisye?
Youpunishmeinthebedr
oom andnowinthe
ki
tchen.Haai
Never 
Me;
mxm
Hi
m;don’
tpout
 
Me; butbabypleasemaan.Ican’
tcomet
o
breakfastandhavetheki
tchensmell
i
ngl
ike
thi
s,I’
llbedest
inedtofai
l
Hi
m; Rif
il
oe,
Leavemeoutofthi
sdi
etofy
ours.
MinaIneedtohavepr
operf
oodint
hehouse.
Notleav
esandshit
 
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;soy
ou’
regoi
ngt
osul
k 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;goahead.I
’
m notl
ett
ingy
ouwi
nthi
sone.
 
Me;
yousuckSi
ya.Li
ker
eal
l
ysuck 
Hi
m;Iwi
shedy
ousuckedaswel
l
.May
bet
hen
mymoodwoul
dimpr
ov e.

Il
ookedaroundtoseeifmam Mart
hawas
ar
ound,butthankf
ull
yshewasn’
t

Me;
Siy
a,youcan’
tgoaroundsay
ingt
hingsl
i
ke
t
hat
.Whatifmam Mar
thahadheardyou?
Hi
m; maybei
t’
sagoodt
hingifshedi
d.That
wayshecoul
dtal
ksomesenseintoy
ou 
Me;
justshutupandeaty
ourf
ood 
Him;mar
aRifi
loe,youaredisr
espect
ful
yaz.
YouknowI’
m olderthanyouri
ght
Me;
(gi
ggl
es)YesI
’
mful
l
yawar
e 
Him;It
hinkweshoul
dsendy
outonat
alt
ovisi
t
oneofmyauntssoshecant
eachy
ouafew
thi
ngs 
Me;
menat
al.Nev
er 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)whynot
 
Me;becauseal
lthathar
dlabourwoul
drui
nmy
nai
l
s 
Hi
m;amen.

Siy
ajustl
aughedandshookhisheadatme.I
knowheseemedl i
kehewasjoking,
butl
atel
y
hehadment i
onedmestayi
ngwithhismom or
auntaf
tertheweddi
ngafewtimes.Andnowit
wasstart
ingtoworr
ymeabi t
,becauset
here
wasnowayIwasgoi
ngt
oagr
eet
othat
.Nev
er

Aft
erf
ini
shi
ngmybreakfast
,Iwentupst
air
sto
fet
chmylapt
opandfoundSiya’
sphoneri
nging.

Il
ookedatt hecall
erIDandsawt hati
twas
Jessi
ca.Itookadeepbr eat
handdeci dednotto
answerit
.Instead,
Itookmyst uf
f,andwalked
backdownst ai
rsandgaveSiyahisphone

Me;
You’
rephone’
sbeenr
ingi
ng 
Igavehi
mt hephone,
andhel
ookedatt
he
Call
erI
D,thenatme 
Hi
m;whydi
dn’
tyouanswer
 
Me;
it’
snotmypl
acet
o 
Hi
m;baby
 
Me;don’
t.Iknowyou’l
lhavetoworkwi
thher
.
I
t’
sjustabitfr
ust
rat
ingthat’
sal
l 
Hi
m;Thanksf
orunder
standi
ng 
Me;
it’
scool
.Ishoul
dgo 
Hi
m;Wai
tforme,
wecanwal
koutt
oget
her
 
Me;
babe,
I’
m goi
ngt
obel
ate 
Hi
m;I
t’
syourcompany
.Noonewi
l
lnot
ice

Irol
ledmyeyesandgavehim aki
ssont he
cheek,t
henwalkedt
owardsthegarage.

Si
yacameaf
terme,
andhel
dmef
rom behi
nd

Him; y
oudi
dn’
tthi
nkIwouldl
ety
ougowi
thout
gett
ingapr
operki
ssdi
dy ou 
Me;
wel
l
,whatar
eyouwai
ti
ngf
or?

Hel
eanedi
nandgav
emeki
ssgoodby
e.
Hi
m;I
llseey
oul
ater
 
Me;
don’
tfor
getourappoi
ntment
Hi
m;Iwont
 
Me;
Thanky
ou

Igav
ehi
m anot
herki
ss
Hi
m;goodl
uckf
ory
ourf
ir
stday
 
Me;
thanksbaby
Hi
m;Il
ovey
oune 
Me;
Lov
eyoumor
e

HespankedmeonthebuttasIwal
kedout
,and
Ii
mmediatel
ybl
ushedwhenIsawmam Martha.

Idi
dn’tev
enbot
herlooki
ngherwayagai
n.Iwas
waytooembarr
assed.
WhenIgott
ot hegarage,
Igoti
ntomynewcar
,
anddr
ovetotheoffi
ce.

Ihadaf eel
ingthatt
odaywasthebeginni
ngof
greatt
hingsforbothmeandSiya.If
eltli
kewe
werefi
nallyget
tingpastt
hepastandmov ingon.

Westil
lhadalongwaytogo,butIwascer
tain
nowmor ethanev
er,
thatnot
hingwoul
ddri
v eus
apar
t.

[
05/
13,
20:
49]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

98

(Cr
opt
opI
nser
t)
:
(

WhenIarr
ivedatt
heof
fi
ce,
Andr
eawasat
r
ecept
ion.

Shewal kedmeupt oSiya’

soldoffi
cewhich
wasnowmi ne.I
twasabi tawkwardseeing
Andrea,aft
erthewayIactedprevi
ously(
inser
t
16.2)
,butbeingtheprof
essional
thatsheisshe
di
dn’treall
ymakeitseem li
keanythi
ng
happened.

Her
;CanIgety
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
Me;
not
hanky
ou.
Her
;I’
veplacedt
hestatfol
dert
haty
ou
r
equestedonyourdesk 
Me;
thanky
ou 
Her
;theboar
dmember
swi
l
lbeher
einanhour
 
Me;
doy
oumi
ndshowi
ngmewhi
chboar
droom 
Her
;they
’l
lusey
ourof
fi
ce 
Me;
oh,
ok 
Her
;arey
ouokwit
hthat
?Ij
ustf
igur
edt
hat
woul
dbeeasi
erf
oryou 
Me;
itsper
fectt
hanky
ou 
Her
;letmeknowi
fyouneedany
thi
ngel
se
Me;
wil
ldo

AndreaLeft,
andItookagoodl ookatmynew
off
ice.I
twasstrangetot hi
nkthataf ewmonths
ago,thi
swasSi y
a’sof
fice,andnowher eIwas
notonlymarri
edtohim, butal
sor unninghi
s
company .

Isatdownandi mmedi
atel
ystart
edgoing
throughthest
atfi
l
ethatIhadaskedAndreat
o
prepare.
Anhouront hedot
,theboar
dmembersstarted
toarr
ive.Andreahadalr
eadysetupmorni
ng
snacks,becausesheknewthatweweregoing
tobeher eforawhil
e.

Theboardmeeti
nglast
edforover4hours.I
wasgri
ll
edaboutabsol
utel
yevery
thi
ng.Even
aboutmyli
fe.

Iknewitwasbecausedisappr
ovedmy
appoint
ment,butnonethel
essIheldmyhead
high,
andansweredeveryquest
ionthatthey
had.Iwasthankful
Siyahadhel
pmepr epar
e,
becauseot
herwiseIwould’
vedrowned.

Bytheti
met heboar
dmember sleft
,Iwas100%
sur
ethatIhadwont hem ov
er.Theroom was
l
esstense,
andev er
yonewasmor ecomfortabl
e,
andleftwi
thsmiledonthei
rfacesi
nst
eadof
thefrownsthatt
heyhadgivenmewhenthey
arr
ived.

Isatbackdownatmydeskaf t
erthemeeting,
andletoutasigh.I
fImanagedt hatmeet
ing,
thenIhadfai
ththatIwasi
nf actnotinov
ermy
head.

Itr
iedcal
li
ngSiyaacoupl eofti
mesbuthis
phonerangandwentt hroughtovoicemai
l
.
DeepdownIt houghtaboutthecall
f r
om
Jessi
ca,butIi
mmedi atel
y,puti
taside.

Iwasn’
tgoi
ngtosuspecthi
m ofcheat
ingev
ery
ti
mehedidn’
tanswer.Hewasprobabl
ybusy.I
meanhe’si
nchargeof49speci
alopsteams.

Ispentt
her
estoft
heday
,wor
kingmybut
tof
f.
Thereweresomanyt hingsthatAndr
eahadl ef
t
formetogetthrough,andIplannedonatleast
gett
ingt
hroughhalfofitbef
oreIhadtoleave
fort
hecounsell
i
ngsessi on.

Ihadsomucht odothatIev
enendedup
ski
ppingl
unch.Byt
het i
meIlookedupi
twas
16:30.
 
Ihadexactl
y30Mi
nut
est
ogett
oRosebank,
for
thesessi
on.

It
ri
edcal
li
ngSiyaagai
n,buthedidn’
tanswer
.
SoIfi
gur
edI’
djustseehi
m atthecouncil
l
or’
s
of
fi
ce

WhenIarri
vedatt
hecounci
l
lor
soffi
ce,
itwas
exact
ly16;
49pm andSi
yawasn’
thereyet
.
Iwal
kedi
nandwai
tedatr
ecept
ionf
orhi
mto
ar
ri
ve.
 
At17;
00thecouncil
l
orcal
l
edusi
n,butSi
ya
hadn’
tar
ri
vedasy et
.
Thecouncill
orint
roducedhi
msel fasTheodor
e
Levi
n.Isatinhisoffi
ceandjustspokeabouta
fewbasicthingswhil
ewaiti
ngforSiya.
 
Ihadfi
nall
yrealisedthatSi
yahadstoodmeup
atar
ound18:00pm.TosayIwasembar rassed
wasanunder statement.
HereIwastryi
ngt o
hel
pusf i
xthings, butSi
yahadn’
tev
enbot hered
topi
tch.

Me;I’
m sosor
ry.It
hinkmyhusbandmust
’ve
f
orgott
enaboutourappoi
ntment
 
Hi
m; don’
twor
ryabouti
t.Wecanal
way
s
r
eschedul
e 
Me;Iknow.Iwasjustr
eal
l
ylooki
ngf
orwar
dto
get
ti
ngintothi
s 
Hi
m;canIaskwhy
Me;(si
gh)ourrelat
ionshi
phasn’
treal
l
ybeenthe
easi
est
.Wej ustrecentl
ymadeupagain,andI
j
usthopedthatwecoul dusecounsel
li
ngasa
methodofmov ingon
Hi
m;hav
eyoudi
scussedt
hiswi
thy
ourspouse
Me;
yes 
Him;well
,gohome, andtr
ydiscussi
ngitwi
th
hi
m agai
n.Trynottobitehi
sheadof f
.Men
don’
tusuall
yrespondwellt
obeingshoutedat
 
Me;
I’
ll
try

Il
eftDrLevi
ne’
soffi
cesfeel
i
ngdrai
ned.Al
lI
wantedwastogohomeandgeti nt
oanice
bubblebat
h.Mybloodwasboil
ing,
butI
promisedmysel
fthatIwoul
dn’
tscr
eam or
shoutathi
m.
WhenIgothomeMam Mar t
hahadalready
cookedDinner
.Shehadmadechi ckenlasagne
wit
hbeetrootsal
ad.I
tlookedandsmel l
ed
absol
utel
yamazing. 
My“
diet
”immedi
atel
ywentoutt
hewi
ndow.

It
ookashower
,thenchangedi
ntosomet
hing
morehomel
y.
 
It
ri
edSiyaagai
nonhi
sphone,andi
nst
eadof
hi
m answeri
ng,
hewal
kedthr
oughthedoor
.

Hi
m;HoneyI
’
m home 
Me;
I’
mincl
oset

Heputhi
slapt
opont
hebed,
thencamet
ogi
ve
meakiss.

Hi
m;howwasy
ourf
ir
stday
?
Me;
tough,
butnot
hingIcan’
thandl
e 
Hi
m;t
hat
’swhatIl
i
ket
ohear
. 
Me;
Ihav
eabonet
opi
ckwi
thy
ou 
Hi
m;haw,
baby
,whatdi
dIdonow?
Me;
youhonest
lyf
orgot
?
Hi
m;f
orgotwhat
?
Me;
Ourcounsel
l
ingsessi
on 
Hi
m;Shi
t…babesor
ry.Todaywashect
ic.If
lew
t
oCTandhadami l
l
ionmeetings.
 
Me;
CT?Si
ya,
howdoy
ouf
lyt
oCTandnott
ell
me?
 
Him;baby,
Iwasn’
tawar
eIhadt
ocl
earmy
schedul
ewithy
ou

Yho,
Ihonest
lydi
dn’texpectSi
yat
oanswerme
l
iket
hat
.Iwasjustaskingmos.
Me;
wasJessi
cat
her
e 
Hi
m;OhGod,
Rif
il
oecomeon.Nott
hisagai
n 
Me;
it’
sasi
mpl
equest
ion 
Hi
m;Rif
il
oe,
youknowshewast
her
e.Shedoes
wor
kformeaft
eral
l 
Me;(
sigh)Soyoumissedoursessi
onbecause
youwerewit
hher 
Hi
m; noImi
ssedthesessi
onbecauseIhad
moreimpor
tantt
hingst
odo.
Me;sowhyar
eyoushout
ingatme?Iwasj
ust
aski
ng 
Him; Rif
il
oe,Thist
hingaboutJessi
caisstarti
ng
tobor eme.Itoldyouwhathappenedwasa
onetimet hi
ng,andnowI’m doneapol
ogising,
becausei t’
scl
earyouhaven’tt
rul
yacceptedmy
apology 
Me;
Si 
Hi
m;I
’
m notdone.Nowl
i
stenandl
i
sten
caref
ull
y.ILOVEYOU,Iwil
lnotcheatagai
n.
Eventhoughyoust
il
lref
usetobei nt
imatewi
th
me
Me;
sot
hisi
saboutsex
 
Him;yesRif
il
oe,It
’saboutsex.Youaremywi f
e,
andyetyourefusetobewithme.andnowy ou
wantmet ogot osomeguyandspi l
lour
marri
ageprobl
emst ohim?Theonl yprobl
em
herei
sy ou.
Me;
me 
Him;yesyou.Yourefusetoletthi
sthi
nggo,
andthati
stheonlythingholdi
ngusback.Its
l
ikeyouaretry
ingtopunishme, andthat
’sj
ust
goi
ngt odr
ivemeev enmor ecrazy 
Me;
youpr
omi
sedt
obepat
ient
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
it’
sbeen2mont
hs.
Me;
Siy
a,t
hingsl
i
ket
heset
aket
ime.
 
Him;welldon’
ttaket
oolong,
becauseI
honest
lydon’tknowhowmuchmor eofthi
sshi
t
Icant
ake 
Me;
what
’st
hatsupposedt
omean 
Hi
m;(
sigh)not
hing 
Me;
Sayi
t 
Hi
m;dr
opi
t 
Me;don’
tbotherbecauseIknowexactl
ywhat
youmeant.Sogor i
ghtaheadanddoitSiy
a.Go
f
indsomegi r
landfuckherbrai
nsout.I
t’
swhat
you’
regoodatafteral
l 
Hi
m;youknowwhat.I
’m doneargui
ngwithyou.
I
tscl
eart
haticannev
erdoanythingri
ghtwhen
i
tcomestoyou.

Si
ya,tookhi
skeysandsl
ammedt
hedoor
.Ihad
noideawherehewasgoi
ng.

Idon’
tunder
stand,
howasi mpl
equesti
onabout
oursessi
on,
couldleadhi
m wal
kingoutonme.
Al
lI’
veaskedf
orf
rom hi
m wast
ime.

Iknowift
heshoewasontheotherf
oot
,I
would’
vebeengr
aci
ousenoughtogi
vehim al
l
theti
meheneeded,
whycouldn’
thedothe
same?
[
05/
13,
20:
50]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

99

Istoodinmyr oom andthoughtaboutwhatj

ust
happened.Idon'tunder
standwhySiyawas
behavi
ngthewayhewas.

Iunderstoodhi
sf ustr
ati
ons,butialsowas
try
ingtocomet ot er
mswi t
hwhathappened,
andunf ort
unat
elyitwastaki
ngl ongert
hanI
thoughtitwoul
d.
Isatonthebedandt
ri
edcall
inghi
m,buthe
didn'
tanswer
.It
ri
edhi
m over10ti
mesandsti
l
l
nothi
ng.

Iwenttothekitchenandpackedawayt hefood
thatmam Mar t
hahadpr eparedfordinner,i
t
wasobv i
ousthatSiyawasn'tplanni
ngon
cominghomeany ti
mesoon, sotherewasno
usehavi
ngt hefoodsiþi
ngi nthedini
ngr oom,
whentherewasnoonet odone.

WhenIwasdonepacki ngeveryt
hingaway ,I
wentbacktothebedroom andtr
iedt odosome
work,
butijustcoul
dn'
tconsernt
rate.Ikepton
t
hinki
ngaboutwhatSiyawasdoi ng,orwhohe
waswith.

IknowIwast
heonewhopi
ssedhi
m of
f,Ij
ust
hopehedoesn' tdoanyt
hingstupi
d.Thel
ast
thingIneedistohavehim sl
eepwithsomebody
else.BecauseIknewforsureIwouldneverbe
abletoliv
ewi t
hthat
.

Ideci
dedsinceIcouldn'
tgetworkdone,
Imight
aswellt
rygetti
ngsomesl eep.I
twasalr
eady
aft
er10pm, andihadanear l
ymorni
ng
tomorr
ow.

Iputawaymyl aptop,thengoti ntobed.Itossed

andturnedforhours.Ijustkeptwonder i
ng
whereSiyawasandwhohewaswi th.Igethe
waspissed,butwhathewasdoi ngnowwas
onlymakingthi
ngswor se,becauseallIcould
pi
cturewashimi nbedwi t
hsomeone.

It
ri
edhim onhisphoneonel
astt
ime,
buti
t
wentst
rai
ghttovoicemai
l
.
Ievent
ual
lyf
ell
asl
eep,andhopedt
hatIhadn'
t
dri
venSiy
aInoanotherwoman'
sarms.

Imust'
vebeenasl
eep,f
ornotmor
ethan
30minut
eswenIheardSiy
awalkt
hrought
he
door
.Hewashummi ngaHughmasekelasong.
 
Ij
ustcl
osedmyey es,andaskedGodt
ohelpme
sl
eep.Thel
astt
hingIwant edwastof
ightwi
th
si
yaaboutwher
ehe' sbeen.

Si
yawal
kedtowardthebedandpul
l
edt
he
duv
etof
fandtosseditont
hefl
oor

Ij
ustknewt
henthathewasi
nt hemoodt
o
ar
gue,andi
didn'
twantt
opar
ticipat
e.

Hi
m:getupweneedt
otal
k 
Me:
mhmm 
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:Siy
a,Ihavetobeupi
n3hour
s.Cantbedo
t
hissomeot hert
ime 
Hi
m:Idon'
tcar
eabouty
ourmeet
ings.Weneed
t
otal
k

Ideci
dednott
oar
gue,
andj
ustdowhathe
says.
 
Isatupandl
eanedmyheadont
heheadboar
d

Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng 
Hi
m: Iwantt
oknowi
fyoust
il
lwantt
obe
marr
iedtome?
Me:
Siy
a,whatki
ndofquest
ioni
sthat
?
Hi
m:i
t'
sasi
mpl
equest
ion
Me:
ifIdi
dn'
twantt
obewi
thy
ouIwoul
d'
vel
eft
,
wheny
out
oldmeaboutwhaty
oudi
d 
Hi
m:It
hinky
ou'
rel
yi
ngt
oyour
sel
f 
Me:
butSi
Hi
m:I
'
m notdone

Ii
mmediat
elykeptqui
te.Icoul
djustf
eelt
hat
Si
yawasabouttosaysomet hi
ngthatwas
goi
ngt
oPisameof f

Him:It
hinki
t'
sbestImov
eint
ooneoft
he
spar
ebedrooms.

Il
ookedathi
m confused.Whywoul
dhewantt
o
st
ayinsepar
aterooms

Me:
why
Hi
m;becauseRi
fi
loe,
youcan'
tev
enst
antt
o
havemetouchyou.Andidon'
tknowhowI
'
m
expect
edtobeokwiththat
 
Me:soyou'
resol
uti
oni
sfory
out
omov
eint
o
anot
herbedr
oom
Hi
m:y
es 
Me:
that
'snothappeni
ng 
Him:sincewhendoy oulayt
helawofwhat
happensinthi
shouse?Youknowwhaty our
probl
em is?I
t'
sthatI
'vebeentoosoftwi
thyou,
andthatmakesy outhi
nkyoucanplayallov
er
myhead.Wel lt
hatshit
sabouttoChange.
Me:
butSi
Hi
m:whosai
dIwasdone?

Tj
o,nowt
hissi
deofSi
ya,
Ihonest
lyhat
ed.Why
di
dhehavetobesomean

Hi
m:si
ncey
ou'
renotwi
l
li
ngt
oactl
i
kemywi
fe,
thenIdon'
tseet
heuseofussl
eepi
ngi
nthe
samebedroom.

Me:
whyar
eyoubei
ngl
i
ket
his

Him: howmustIbeRi f
il
oe?Ye?Igi veyou
everythi
ng.Andy eti
tsnev erenough.Whatever
youwantIgi veittoyou.Wheny ousayjump
Siyamustsayhowhi gh.Wheny ouwanttosulk,
Ihav etorunaroundaftery oul
ikeaheadless
chicken.Ican'
tfucki
ngt akeitanymore.

TobehonestSi y
awasnowst ar
ti
ngtoreall
y
hurtmyf eeli
ngs.Hewast henonewhowentof f
andruinedev er
ythi
ng,andnowwhenhehast o
facethecircumstanceshethrowsthebiggest
tantr
um inthewor l
d.

Me:
sot
hisi
sal
l
,becauseofsex?Youwantt
o
mov
eoutourbedr
oom becauseofsex?

Him:no.Iwantt omov eoutbecausey ou

haven'
tforgiv
enme.Iwantt omov eout
becauseall,weev erspeakaboutismegi vi
ng
youtime.Despitemebei ngpatientformore
than2mont hs.I'
veapologize.I
vepleaded,I'
ve
doneeverythi
ngy ou'
veaskedMet odo, butsti
l
l
youkeepbr i
ngingupJessicaev erychancey ou
get.I
t'
ssodam annoy i
ng 
Me:butSi
yadoy oubl
ameme?Yousl
eptwi
th
herf
orheaven'
ssake 
Hi
m: Ri
fi
loe,Inevermadelovet
oJessica.Not
ev
er.If
uckedt heshi
toutofher
,andthatwasit.
Whycan'tyouunderst
andthat
Me:becauseIwouldnev erbringmyselfto
sl
eepwithanotherman, whil
emar ri
edtoy ou
Si
ya.Never.Andyetyougof uckJessica,aft
er
wehadgot tenmarr
ied.Andt henyouexpectme
j
usttosithereandpretendthatevery
thing'
s
al
ri
ght
?

Him: Ican'
tkeepgoi ngroundinci
rcl
eswi t
hyou.
I
t'seithery
ou'regoingtotrul
ymov eonfrom
t
hisandst artbeingmywi fe,
oryouneedt oget
yourselfadivorcel
awy er,
becauseIsur
eashell
won'tlivel
ikethisf
ormuchl onger

WhenSiyasaidthatIswear,
Ifel
tli
keabullet
,
hadgonethroughmyhear t
.Idon'
tunderst
and
whathadgottenint
ohim.Everyt
hingwasok,
andnowall,
ofasuddenhewast alki
ngabout
di
vorcel
awyers

Me:Siya,
wher
eist
hiscomi
ngf
rom al
lofa
sudden?
Hi
m:j
ustmakeadeci
sion,
andl
etmeknow
Me:butSiy
a,Iaskedyout
ocometocounsel
li
ng
wi
thme, sowecant r
yworki
ngt
hisout
,buty
ou
di
dnev
enbot
hert
opi
tch

Him:counsel
l
ing?Howi scounselli
nggoingto
hel
p?Theonlythingthat'
sgoingtohelp,i
sif
youstar
thumblingyoursel
f.I
nsteadof
competi
ngwithmet obet hemanoft hishouse.

Me:soyouwantmet oagr
eet oever
ythi
ngyou
say
?Andnothav eanopi
nion?Becauseift
hat
s
so,
idontunder
standwhyyoumademeCEO

Him:theonet hingyouf or
getthaty
ouareCEO
attheoff
ice.Nother e.Hereyouareawife.A
submissi
vewi fe,anditsti
mey oustar
tedacti
ng
l
ikeit

Icouldseenow,thatthi
swasnol aughi
ng
matter,
Siyawasbey ondannoyed.Hehadnev
er
evermentioneddi
vorce,buther
ehewas
speaki
ngabouti
t.WasIr
eall
ythatbadawi
fe
thatmyownhusbandhadtoremindmetobe
submissi
ve?
 
Ihadhonest
lyt
houghtSiy aandIwereok,but
nowIcouldseethatwewer enotevencloseto
bel
iev
eok.Inst
eaditlookedlikeIwaspushi
ng
hi
m away,andthatwasn'tmyi nt
ent
ion.

All
Ihadtodonowwast rymybestt
ofi
xthi
s
hugeassmessthatIhadcr
eat
ed.

Istoodup,
andsatonhi
slap,
inmyf
avour
it
e
squatposi
ti
on.

Hi
m:don'
t 
Me:
I'
m sor
rybaby
 
Hi
m:noy
ou'
renot
 
Me:
Iam.
..
 
Hi
m: Ri
fi
loe,
whydoIhavetobeharshforyou
t
or eali
sewhenyou'
rewrong?Ihat
ehavingto
t
alktoy ouli
ket
his,
butsometi
mesitseemslike
t
heonl yway
Me:
isai
dim sor
ry 
Hi
m: you'
react
ionswi
ll
havetochange.I
''
ve
l
it
eral
lyhadenoughoft
hisbackandfort
h.Ij
ust
wantustomov eon 
Me:soyouser
iousl
ywantt
omov
eToanot
her
bedr
oom.
Hi
m: no,Iwasjustt
ryi
ngt
osof
teny
our
st
ubbornheartabit
Me:
don'
tev
erpl
ayl
i
ket
hat
 
Hi
m; y
ouknowIcouldneverl
eaveyou.Andt
hat
i
sthereasonwhyy
outhinkyoucangetaway
wi
thmur der
. 
Me:
you'
renof
air
 
Him:butiwasseri
ousaboutyoubei
ngmore
humble.You'
rehar
dheadednessi
sn'
tcut
e.I
t'
s
act
ual
l
yannoy
ing 
Me:
okSi
ya,
Igett
hepoi
nt 
Hi
m:i
dontt
hinky
oudo
Me:
(si
gh)I
'
llt
rybei
ngl
essst
ubbor
n.Ipr
omi
se 
Hi
m:howaboutbei
ngsubmi
ssi
ve 
Me: ei
sh,
butbabyyouknowhowopinionat
edI
am.Andnowy ouWantMenott oquesti
on
thi
ngswhenI'
m uncomfort
abl
ewiththem 
Him; that'
snotwhatImeanandy ouknowi t
.Al
l
Iwanti sfory outor emembert hatIam your
husband.Iam t heheadoft hi
sf amil
y,andwe
needt owor kt ogether,andmakedeci sions
together.Youcan' tjustdecidey oudon'twant
chil
drenf orthenextcoupl eofy ear
swi t
hout
tal
kingt ome.Ort hatyoudon' twantust obe
i
ntimat e.It
'snothowt hingswor k
Me:
Iheary
ou.But
 
Hi
m: nobuts.Wewerebothwrong.Webot
hdi
d
t
hingsthathur
ttheot
her
,butwecan'tmov
e
f
orwar
difwe'
rehol
dinggrudges.Webot
hneed
t
omAkeaneffortt
omov eon. 
Me:
you'
rer
ight
.I'
m sor
rybabe
Hi
m:i
tsf
ine.Canwej
ustmov
eonnow?
Me:
ok
Hi
m:good,
nowy
oucangot
osl
eep 
Me:
don'
tyouwantt
o(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)
Hi
m: no,nott
oni
ght.Youneedtogetsome
sl
eep,youhaveanearl
ymorning 
Me:
ok
Hi
m:getI
ntobed,
soIcancuddl
eyou
Me:
soal
li
sfor
giv
en
Him:yaah,ti
llt
henextt
imey oust
artwi
thyour
shi
t.Butthequesti
onIshoul
dbeaskingyouis
i
fyouarer eadytot
rul
ymov eon?
Me:
Ithi
nkIam 
Hi
m:good
Il
eanedi nandgav ehimsaki ss.Icouldfeel
Siy
aget ti
ngmoreandmor etur nedon.Iwon't
l
ieandsayJessi cawasn'tinmymi nd,butihad
decidedthatIwasn'tgoi
ngt oletherruinmy
marriage.I
twouldgiveLindat oomuch
sati
sfacti
on 
I
nst
eadIwoulddomybestt
obetheki
ndof
wi
fethatSi
yaneedsmet
obe. 
Butthatdi
dntmeani wasn'tgoi
ntogri
llhi
m
aboutcominghomeat2am.Idontcar ehow
madhewas, goi
ngoutti
llt
histi
meofthe
morningwasn'tok,
butthatworl
dhavetobea
di
scussionforanot
herday
[
05/
13,
20:
51]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

100

Whenmyal
arm cl
ockwentof
f,If
eltl
i
ke
thr
owingitoutt
hewi ndow.Ihadonlygot
ten
about3hoursofsleep,andLordknowIneeded
more.Butunfor
tunatel
yduetoSiya'
snonsense,
Iwasupmostt henightargui
ng.

Iwashowev errel
ivedwhenhet ol
dmet oget
i
nt obedsot hathecoul dcuddleme, becauseI
knewt henthatwewoul dn'
tbehav i
ngsex, and
wasamaj orrel
eif,butatthesamet i
mei tmade
mewonderwher ehehadgoneandwhyhe
didn'
twantt oaftergri
ll
ingmel i
kecrazy

Idecidedtorat
herkeepquite,andmaybe
addressitl
ater
,becausethelastthi
ngIwant
ed
wasf orustostar
targui
ngagai n.

Igotupandlef
tSiy
ainbed.There'
snot
hing
moreannoyi
ngthanhavi
ngt owakeupwhil
e
yourmanissti
l
linbed.I
tjustmademewantto
cancel
,themeeti
ngandgobacktobed,
butme
bei
ngme, icoul
dneverdot
hat.

It
ookaqui
ckshower
,thenwentt
ogetdr
essed.
IDeci
dedt
owearmyblackpepl
um sui
tdress,
wit
hmyblackJi
mmychoopointedhi
ll
s.Didmy
hai
randmakeup,t
henwenttogetmybag.

IknewIhadt ogetoutofherebef
oreSiy
asaw
me, becauseIknewhewoul dinsi
stonme
changing,becausemydr esswasabitshor
t.
Withsiyaany t
hingovert
hekneeisshort
.Which
i
nmyopi nionitwasn'
t.

AsIpi
ckedupmyl
apt
opbag,
Isawsi
yast
ari
ng
atme.

Hi
m:mor
ning 
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:soy
oul
eav
ewi
thoutsay
inggoodby
e 
Me;
Iwasst
il
lcomi
ngt
othat
Hi
m:whoar
eyoumeet
ingwi
th?
Me:
you'
reChi
nesei
nvest
ors 
Hi
m:babe
Me;
I'
mrunni
ngl
ate.I
'
llseey
oul
ater

IwenttoGi
vehi
m aki
ss,
andhepul
l
edmeon
thebed.

Me;
Siy
a,y
ou'
regoi
ngt
omakemel
ate

Siy
a, di
dn'
tl
ist
en,
inst
eadhebl
ushedhi
shand
againstmythi
ghs

Hi
m:i
sn'
tyourdr
essabi
tshor
t 
Me:
no

Hemovedhishandabithigher.Iknewwher
e
hewasheadedandthatbothturnedmeonand
mademewantt or
un.

Me:
Siy
a,l
etgo.I
'
m goi
ngt
obel
ate 
Hi
m;t
heChi
nesear
eal
way
slat
e 
Me;
buti

Icoul
dn'
tfi
nishmysentancebecauseSiy
a's
handwasget t
ingcl
osert
omyspot ,andthe
anti
ci
pat
ionwaski l
l
ingme.

I
nst
eadofme, gett
ingup,Iopenedmyt
highs
wi
der.Forsomereason,Iwantedhi
mtotouch
methere.
Hi
m:It
houghty
ouwer
egoi
ngt
obel
ate 
Me:
youknowIam 
Hi
m:i
nthatcasey
oushoul
dgo 
Me:
nott
il
lyouf
ini
shwhaty
oust
art
ed 
Hi
m:(
chuckel
s)I
'
llseey
oul
ater
 
Me:
sot
hisi
spay
back 
Him:
notreal
l
y,buti
dohav
esomepl
annedf
or
yout
oni
ght 
Me:
soundsf
un 
Hi
m:f
ormemay
be,
butnotsomuchf
ory
ou
Me:
mxm

Siyal
etgoofme, andi st
oodup.Iknewhewas
seri
ousaboutt or
turi
ngmesexual l
y,andI'
llbe
honestandsayIl ookforwar
dtoit.Iwasgoi ng
tohavetotrymov ingforwar
ddespiteourcrazy
sit
uati
on.BesidesIalsohadneeds,andi had
depri
vedmy selfLonenough
It
ookmylapt
opandmyhandbag,
andbl
ew
Si
yaaki
ss.

Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo

Ileftf
eeli
ngabi tbett
erthanlastni ght.Iwas
stil
luncomfortablewit
haf ewt hings,butiwas
hopingthatwithtime,Siyawoul dtry
understandi
ngt hatweneedcounsel li
ng.
Despiteusmaki ngplansormov ingforward,
Whathedi dwi thJesssti
lltor
ment sme, and
thewayhespeakssomet i
mesbot hersme, and
ithoughtmay bewi t
hcounselli
ngIwoul dbe
abletotrul
ymov eon.

WhenIarr
ivedatt
oof f
ice,
Andreahadal
ready
setupf
orourmorningmeet i
ng.Ev
ery
thi
ngshe
hadlay
edoutl
ookedamazi
ng,especi
all
ysi
ncei
ski
ppeddi
nnerandbr
eakf
ast
.

Me:
Andr
ea,
thi
slooksmout
hwat
eri
ng.
 
Her
:I'
m gl
ady
oul
i
kei
t 
Me:
whatTi
m di
dyougeti
n
Her
:atar
ound6am
Me:
thanky
ou
Her
:it
'smypl
easur
e 
Me:youshouldmaybetakehal
fdayof
f.Ican'
t
hav
ey ouworkingf
rom 6am,t
o6pm
Her
:Idon'
tmi
nd.Ienj
oywhatIdo
Me:
Iunder
standt
hat
,buty
ouneedt
orest
. 
Her
:ok,
I'
ll
leav
eat12:
:
00 
Me:
good.

Iwentt
osi
tatmydesk,
andst
art
edwi
thmy
day
,whi
l
eIwai
tedf
ort
hei
nvest
orst
oar
ri
ve

Si
yawasright
.Mymeet i
ngonl
ystart
ed45min
l
atert
hanschedul
ed.Despi
tet
hat
,themeeti
ng
wentwel
l.
 
Wewer eplanni
ngonhav i
nganof fi
ceinBeiji
ng,
andweneededt hepeopleheretosignoffonit,
andafterseei
ngourretur
nsforthepast5y ears,
theywerehappytoinvest
.Igavethem the
contr
act,andwescheduledanothermeet i
ng
forustosign.

Theonl yprobl
em wastheywantedust obr
eak
groundinlessthanamont h,whi
chmeantwe
wouldhav etohavethesigni
ng,i
nBeij
ing.
WhichIwasn' tsur
eSiyawouldbehappywi t
h.
ButIwasn'tgoingtothi
nkaboutthatr
ightnow.
Iwast oohappywi t
htheoutcomeofmy
meeting.Iwoulddealwit
hSiyalat
er.
Aft
ermymeet i
ngIwenttom deskt
ocarryon
wit
htherestofmyday.Ist
il
lhadal
ottoget
thr
ough,
andi want
edtobehomebef or
e6pm.

Atar
ound1pm ,
Igotacal
lfr
om Si
ya.

Me:
Ndhl
ovu 
Him:Il
ovei
tWheny
oucal
lmebymyl
ast
name 
Me:
what
'
sup
Hi
m:howdi
dyourmeet
inggo
Me:
excel
l
ent
 
Hi
m:dot
ell
,
 
Me:
theyagr
eedt
othecont
ract
 
Hi
m:no
Me;
yes
Hi
m:y
ouar
eamaz
ing
Me:
thanksbabe 
Hi
m:weshoul
dcel
ebr
ate 
Me:
oh,
Iint
endt
otoni
ght
Hi
m:soundsexci
ti
ng 
Me:
iti
s 
Hi
m:sowhatt
imeshoul
dibehome
Me:
nol
atert
han6pm
Hi
m:i
l
ltr
y
Me:
good.
 
Hi
m:l
etmegett
other
eal
reasonf
orcal
l
ing 
Me:
what
'
sup
Hi
m:pr
omi
set
otr
ykeepanopenmi
nd 
Me:
mhmm I
'
llt
ry
Hi
m:soy
ouknowl
astni
ghtwhenIl
eft
Me:
yah
Hi
m:wel
l
,iact
ual
l
ywentt
otheof
fi
ce.
Me:
ok,
 
Hi
m:andwhi
l
eIwast
her
eIdeci
dedt
ocal
lmy
mom
Me:
hmm,
Hi
m;Iwasj
ustsomad,
Iendedupt
ell
i
nghera
f
ewthi
ngs 
Me:
thi
ngsl
i
kewhat
Hi
m:pl
easedon'
tbemad 
Me:ohGodSiya,
pleasedon'
ttel
lmey
out
old
you'
remot
heraboutoursexl
ife
Hi
m: no,
nott
hat
,butpr
ett
ymuchev
ery
thi
ng
el
se 
Me:
shi
t
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryabouti
t
Me:
easyf
ory
out
osay
Hi
m:l
ook,
babe,
Iwasmad,
andi
justneededt
o
speaktosomeone,andHlokeswasn't
answeri
ng,soIphonedmymot herpluswe
hadn'
tspokenmuchsinceshewasl asti
nJHB

Iwantedtof l
i
ppingswearatSiyasobadl
y.He
di
dn'treal
isewhathehaddone.Hehad
basi
callyj
ustinvi
tedthatwi
ckedmotherofhis
backintoourli
ves,andnowgivenheral
lthe
ammuni ti
onsheneededt ohatemeevenmor e

Me:
sowhatwasy
ourmot
her
'st
akeont
hings
Hi
m:shetol
dmetomanup, andst
artweari
n
t
hepant
sinourr
elat
ionshi
p 
Me:
and 
Hi
m:wellshei
nsi
stswegoDownt
oKZNf
or
t
heweekend 
Me:
siy
aaa 
Hi
m:comeonbabe,
may
bet
hiscanbet
he
beggi
ningofacl
eansl
atef
oral
lofus 
Me:
I'
m notsur
eaboutt
his 
Hi
m:cany
ouatl
eastt
hinkabouti
t 
Me:
ahmm ok.I
'
llt
hinkabouti
t
Hi
m:t
hanksbabe
Me:
Ineedt
ogetgoi
ng.
 
Hi
m:enj
oyt
her
estofy
ourday
 
Me;
thanks

WhenIgotof fthephonewi thsiyaIwonder ed

whatt odo.Thel astt hi
ngIwant edwast o
spendt heweekendathi smot her'
s.Shehat es
mesomuch, whati fshet r
iedtopoisonme?
Knowi ngsiy
a, iwoul dbest uckwithvisi
t i
nghis
mot her,whi
lehepl ay edli
eutenant.Iknewnow
thattheonlywayoutoft hi
swast ogi vesiya
whathewant s.May besomesexual rel
iefwil
l
helpchangehi smi nd.
IpushedthethoughtofSiy
a'smotherasi
de,
andconserntr
atedonfini
shingmywork.I
wantedtotrygetthr
oughev er
ythi
ngsothatI
di
dn'tmakeitahabitofbri
ngingworkhome.
Thelastt
hingIneedistobet ol
dthatI
'm nota
CEOathomeagai n

Il
efttheoffi
ceat5:30pm.Iwasgratef
ult
hatI
di
dn'tli
vetofarfr
om theoffi
ce,
whichmeantI
di
dn'thavetositi
ntraff
ic.

WhenIar r
ivedhome, Igreet
edmanMar t
ha,and
gaveherandt hembithenightof
f.Di
nnerwas
al
readyprepared,soAllIhadtodowasdishup,
andcleanupaf ter
wards.

ManMar
thal
eft
,andiwenttol
aythet
abl
e,I
di
mmedthel
i
ghtsandli
tcandl
es,
putonsome
music,
thenwenttotakeaqui
ckshower.Iknew
Siy
awaspr obabl
yonhiswayhome,soIdidn'
t
haveti
metol ayi
nthebat
h.

WhenIwasdone, Ilot
ionedmy sel
fandputon
myblackhardlythereli
ngeri
e.Iwantedtotr
y
andpreparemymi ndforwhatwast ocome,
andmay beifIhadonsomet hingsexy,i
twould
hel
pgetmei nthemood.

Il
ookedmy selfi
nthemi r
ror,andknewsi
ya
woul
dl ov
ehowi l
ooked.Iputonmyr obeand
wenttowaitintheloungeforsiyat
ocome
home

Il
ookedattheti
meandsawi twasal
ready
18:
45.Iwantedtophonehim andaskwherehe
was,butdeci
dedtor at
hert
akeapict
ureof
myselfi
ntheli
ngierandsenditt
ohim.Maybe
t
hatwoul
dgethi
m her
efast
er.

Bytheti
meSi
yaarr
ivedIhadslr
eadyhad2
gl
assesofwi
ne,
whichhadhelpedcal
m my
ner
ves.

Isawhi
m comi
ngthr
ought
hedr
iveway.SoI
undi
dmyrobe,
andsatont
heki
tchencount
er.

WhenSi y
awal kedinhewasonhi
sphone.He
near
lywalkedpassedmebecauseIhad
di
mmedt hel
ight.SoIcl
ear
edmythroatt
oget
hi
sattenti
on.

Hel
ookedoveratme,
andfr
oze.Hedropped
t
hecal
landcametostandi
nfr
ontofme.

Me:
wel
comehome 
Hi
m;I
'
m sor
ryI
'
mlat
e 
Me:
don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
Hi
m:goshy
oul
ookgood
Me:I
'm gl
ady
oul
i
kei
t,buti
thi
nki
t'
sti
mei
t
cameoff 
Hi
m:Icoul
dn'
tagr
eewi
thy
oumor
e

It
ookonel
astsi
pofmywi
ne

Hi
m:weshoul
dtaket
hist
othebedr
oom
Me:
I'
vegi
venev
ery
onet
heni
ghtof
f 
Hi
m:Il
i
nkt
hewayy
out
hink
Me:
nowst
opf
aff
ingandki
ssy
ou'
rewi
fe

Siyamovedcl
oserandIspr
eadmyl egs,
sohe
couldst
andbet
weenthem.Heleanedinand
start
edki
ssi
ngme.
Heki
ssedmesosl owandt ender
ly,
Itr
emi
nded
meofthefi
rstt
imehekissedme.Heundidmy
br
a,whi
leIunbut
tonedhisshir
t.

Whenhewasdonewit
hmybr
a,hebr
okeour
ki
ssandt
ookastepback

Me:
what
 
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eaboutt
his 
Me:
yes.
 
Hi
m:I'
m ser
iousbabe.Ar
eyousur
eyouar
e
r
eadyt
odot hi
s?
Me:
Siy
ai'
mfi
ne.
 
Hi
m:t
ell
mei
fyouwantmet
ost
op
Me:
Iwi
l
l
It
ookoffhi
sshi
rt
, andthenmovedtohisbel
t,
al
lthewhi
lewi
thhim kissi
ngmyneck,and
pl
ayingwi
thmynipples. 
Butt
henSi
yast
eppedback.

Idi
dn'thearhisphoneRi ngi
ng,
Ithi
nkitwason
vi
brate.BecauseIjustsawhim pul
li
touthi
s
pantspocket

Me:
leav
eit
Hi
m:i
t'
sthef
orce.Ihav
etoanswer

Heanswer
edandi
tookanot
hersi
pofmywi
ne.

Ijustknewbythepani
ckedlookonSiy
a'sface,
thatitwasJessi
ca,
butifoughtev
eryt
hingin
menott oslaphi
m.
I
nsteadIgotof
fthecount
er,andwentt
of etch
mygown.Iknowi t
'sst
upi
d,butiki
ndoffelta
bi
texposed.

Iputonmygown,
andwentt
oputmybr
aint
he
Laundr
yroom.

WhenIwentbacktotheki
tchen,Si
yawasful
l
y
dressed,
andwasshout
ingorder
sovert
he
phone.

Helookedatmeandmouthedsorr
y,t
hengav
e
meaki ssont
hecheekandtookhi
skeys,
and
l
eft
.

Ifi
guredwhat ev
erJessicacal
l
edaboutwas
workrelat
edbuti tdi
dn'
tmakemef eelany
bett
er.Iputtheli
ghtsbackon,andputputthe
candl
esout .Idi
shedupf ormysel
f,andnotSi
ya,
becauseIcoul
dtel
lhewasn'
tgoi
ngt
obehome
anyti
mesoon.

Aftereat
ing,
Iwashedthedishesandputaway
thefoodincont
ainer
s,thenwenttomyr oom.
Therewasnousewai ti
ngupf orsomeonewho
mightnotevenbecominghomebef or
e
midnight
,soIputonofhisshirt
s,andgotInt
o
bed.

Itr
iedcal
li
nghi
m,andwassur
pri
sedwhenhe
answered

Hi
m:baby
Me:hey
.Youlefti
nsucharush,
Ijustwant
edt
o
makesuret
hingswereok
Hi
m:wehav
eabi
tofasi
tuat
ionher
ebutI
'
llsor
t
i
tout
me:
doy
ouwantmet
obr
ingy
oudi
nner
?
Him:not
hanksl
ove.I
mf l
yi
ngtocapetown.I
shoul
dbebackbef
oreyouleav
eforwork
Me:(si
gh)ok,
youbesaf
e,I
'
llseey
ouwheny
ou
gethome
Hi
m:y
ounotmadatme
Me:
notr
eal
l
y 
Hi
m:t
hankyoubaby.AndI
'
m sor
ryIl
eftaf
teral
l
t
heef
for
tyouputi
n 
Me:i
t'
sfi
neSi
ya,j
ustf
ini
shwhaty
ou'r
edoing
andcomehome.Thebedscol
dwit
houty
ou 
Hi
m:i
l
lbet
her
eassoonasIcan 
Me:
ok,
byebabe
Hi
m:by
e

Iputdownthecall
,andt
houghtabout
every
thi
ng.Myheadwast el
li
ngmyhearttonot
readint
othi
ng,butmyheartwasnthav
ingany
ofit.Iknowi saidt osuyaiwasntmad, buttobe
honesti wasannoy edasfuck.Ihat
edthef act
thatsiyahadt ost i
llworkwit
hthattr
oll
,but
therrwasnousebei ngmad,becausetherewas
nothingicoulddo.Iguesst hesewerethet hings
I
'dhav etoface, sinceiwastheonewho
decidedtost ay.Ijustpray
edthatmydeci sion
tost aywouldn'
tr esulti
nmebei ngl
eftwitha
brokenhear t
.
[
05/
13,
20:
52]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

101

WhenIwokeupt hefoll
owingmorningSi
ya
wasn'
tinbed.Hi
ssideoft hebedwaspret
ty
muchthesameasl astnight
,soIknewhe
hadn'
tcomehome. 
Iunder
stoodt
hathehadajob,
andthathewas
someonereal
l
yimport
ant
,butIst
il
l,
thi
nkhe
shoul
d'
vecal
ledt
oletmeknowhewasn'
t
cominghomeatal
l.

Igotupand,
madet hebed, t
henopenedt he
Windowstogetsomef r
eshai r
.Isatonthebed
andtri
edcal
l
ingSiy
a,buthisphonej ustr
ang
andwenttovoi
cemail
.Ifiguredhewasei ther
onthewaybackorasleepwher everhewas.

Iwenttothebathroom andtookashower ,t
hen
wenttotheclosettopickoutsomethi
ngt o
wear.Idi
dn'thaveanymeet i
ngssoIdecidedto
wearanav yabovethekneepencilski
rt,
anda
babyblueformalshir
t,wit
hmynav yplatf
orm
pumps.

Iti
edupmyhair,anddi
dmymakeup, t
henwent
upstai
rst
ohavebreakf
ast.Ihadoat
swithabi
t
ofhoneyandbananas,
thentookmybagsand
l
eft
.

IdecidedtousemyAudi i
nst
eadoft hesports
cartoday.Iwantedt ofeelmorelikemyoldself
today.SomehowIki ndofmi ssedmyol dlif
e.
Wher eitwasjustme, andnoot her
compl i
cati
ons.Whoknewt hatay earl
aterI
'dbe
mar r
iedtothi
scr azyman, wi
thacr azyj
ob?
WhenIarriv
edattheoff
ice,Andreahadputt he
report
sfr
om ourcompanyl awyersonmydesk.
Ihadaskedhertogetourlegalteam togetme
report
sontheChinesei
nvestors.Ijustwant
ed
tomakesur et
hatwehadal lthelegaldocsi
n
orderbef
oresi
gning.
 
Ideci
dedtomakemysel
facupofcof
feebef
ore
Idugint
other
epor
ts.

Itri
edSi
yaonemoretime,
andsti
l
lhi
sphone
rangandwentt
ovoicemai
l.Hedi
dhowev
er
sendmeatextsay
inghewasbusy
,andwoul
d
cal
lmebackwhenhehadamoment .

Idecidedtolethi
m be.Iknowwhat everhewas
doingwaspr obabl
yreal
lyimportantandhe
neededmet obesuppor ti
veinsteadofnagging
hi
m.May bewithti
meIwoul dlearntotrul
ybe
okwit hhi
m spendingsomucht imeawayf rom
home.Ast heysaypracti
cemakesper fect.

WhenIst ar
tedreadingthereport
s,Iasked
Andreatoholdallmycal l
s,andIputmyphone
onsilent
.ThelastthingIwantedtodowast o
notconcentr
ate,andmessupt hi
sdeal.

AsIkeptr eadi
ngt
hereport
s,somethi
ngstart
ed
botheri
ngme.Therewassomet hi
ngaboutthe
wayt hereport
swerewri
tt
enthatseemed
famil
iar.
WhenIt urnedthepagetowheret
hef i
gures
were,Ijustknewwhohadwr i
tt
enit.Ther
e's
onlyoneper sonIknewwhowassospeci fi
cin
thei
rwor di
ngandnumber i
ngandthatperson
wasSi zwe

Ihadn'
theardorseenSi
zwesinceheshotme
(bymist
ake).IknowwhenIaskedSiyaabouti
t
hekepttel
li
ngmehecouldn'
ttalkabouti
t.

Ical
ledAndr
eaint
omyoffi
ce.Ift
her
ewas
anyonewhoknewever
yonearoundher
eitwas
her.

Sheknocked,
andIt
oldhert
ocomei
n

Her
:youcal
l
edf
orme?
Me:yes.Ij
usthav
eaquest
ionaboutt
her
epor
ts
yougaveme
Her
:ok
Me:
doy
ouknowwhocompi
l
edt
her
epor
t?
Her
:issomet
hingwr
ong?
Me:notr
eal
l
y,Ij
ustneedt
oknowwhosi
gnedi
t
of
f
Her
:itwoul
d'
vebeensi
gnedof
fbyourheadof
l
egal
Me:
andt
hati
s 
Herhi
snamei
sSi
zweKhumal
oIt
hink 
Me:
Iknewi
t
Her
:isev
ery
thi
ngok
Me:yes.
.Andt
hel
egal
depar
tmenti
sont
he7t
h
f
loor
?
Hery
es
Me:
getSi
zwei
ntomyof
fi
ceasap 
Her
:yesmam 
Andr
eagotupt
oleav
e. 
Me:andonemor
ething,
pleasecal
l,
meRi f
il
oe.
Thi
swholemam t
hingmakesmef eelol
d 
Her
:yesmam.ImeanRi
fi
loe 
Me:
thanky
ou.

Andreal eft,
andIstartedfeel
i
nganxi ous.Idon'
t
understandwhySi yawoul dn'
ttellmeabout
Sizwewor ki
ngforNdhl ov
uCor p.Ijusthoped
thathedi dn'tpl
aceSizweheret ospyonme,
becausewehadagr eedwewoul dkeepsecur i
ty
toami nimum.Idi dn'twantguardsal lar
ound
me.

Ifel
tli
kethatj
ustdr
ewmoreatt
enti
ontome,
andIdidn'
tli
keit
.Pl
usweal
readyhadguards
guardi
ngourhouseandt
heoffi
ce.I
'
m prett
y
surenoonewouldbeabl
etogettobe.Evenif
t
heywant
edt
o.

AsIwasthi
nkingaboutthewholeSizwethi
ng,
someoneknockedonmydoor .Itoldwhoeveri
t
wastocomein,andtherest
oodSi zwe.I
coul
dn'
tbel
ievehowrightmyinst
inctwere.

Iknowoughtt obemadathi mfort

hestupi
d
stuntthathepull
ed,butatthesameti
meIwas
rel
ievedhewasal i
ve,andlooki
ngwell
.He
l
ookedmor el
ikehimself
.

Hi
m:Hi
 
Me:
Hi.Comei
nandCl
oset
hedoorbehi
ndy
ou 
Si
zwedidasIasked,
andsatont
hechai
r
opposi
teme
Me:
howar
eyou 
Hi
m:I
'
m wel
l
.
Me:
Itswei
rdseei
ngy
ouher
e
Hi
m;t
ell
meabouti
t.
Me;
howl
onghav
eyoubeenwor
kingher
e 
Hi
m:about5mont
hs 
Me:
soaf
tert
heshoot
ing 
Hi
m:(
sigh)y
es
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ou'
reok
Hi
m; I
'
m sorr
yaboutwhathappened.I
twasn'
t
myint
enti
on.I
tal
ljusthappenedsoqui
ckl
y.I
wasn'
tthi
nki
ngstr
aight 
Me:forgetaboutal
lofthat
.I'
mjustgl
adyou’
re
ok.ButIam madaty oufornotr
eachi
ngout
aft
erwards 
Him: Ghosttol
dmetostayawayfrom y
ou.I
didn'
twanttopisshi
m off
,aft
erhehadbeen
theonet ohelpmeoutofthewhol
egangster
shit 
Me:
soy
ou'
rewor
kingher
easal
awy
erf
ull
time?
Hi
m:y
es 
Me:
Siy
adi
dn'
thi
rey
out
okeepaney
eonme 
Him:no,buti
fthatwast
hecaseIwoul
dn'
ttel
l
youanyway
Me:
nicet
oseewher
eyou'
rel
oyal
ti
esl
i
e
Hi
m: (chuckl
es)y
ouknowdeepdownI '
llal
ways
pr
otectyou.Sonomatterweatherghosthi
red
meornot .Youar
eandwi l
lal
way sbefri
end
Me;Thenwhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
meaboutal
lthi
s
shi
t?
Him:Rif
il
oe,Iwasi nvolv
edwi t
hpeopl ewho
werehunti
ngghostandbul l
et.Itwasmyj obto
getcl
osetoy ou,butIquicklyr ealizedthatyou
knewnothingaboutt hi
slife.Idi dn’twanttobe
theonetochanget hat.Ijustwant edtobe
you’
refr
iendandf orgetaboutt hewhol e
assi
gnmentt hi
ng
Me:butSi
zwewewer efr
iends.Ishar
edso
muchwithyou.Youwer
el i
kethebrot
herInev
er
had.It
houghty
ouf
eltt
hesame 
Hi
m:Ist
il
ldoRi
fi
loe.
 
Me:
soy
ouandSi
yaar
ecool
now
Him:yaah,Igavehi
m all
theinf
oIhad,in
exchangeformyfreedom.Iwantedoutoft
he
gangworld,andheensuredIgotout
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ou'
reout
 
Him:It
sact
uall
yallthankstoyou.I
fGhost
di
dn’tl
oveyouasmuchashedi d.I
’dbedeadby
now.Hespecif
ical
lytol
dmet hathewas
hel
pingme,becauseofy ou
Me;
wel
l
,I’
m gl
adhedi
d
Hi
m;I
’
m gl
adt
oseey
ouhappy
 
Me;
thanks

Ist
oodup,andwenttoGi
veSi
zweahug.Iknow
hemessedup,butSi
zwewasmyfri
end,andI
wasgl
adhewasbackt ohi
snormal
self
.
Him:st
opbei
ngsuchacrybaby.It
houghtyou
bei
ngmarr
iedtoghostwoul
dtoughenyouupa
bi
t
Me:
mxm.Youowemedr
inks
Hi
m:y
ousur
ethat
'sagoodi
dea?
Me:
yes.Don’
twor
ryaboutSi
ya.I
'
llhandl
ehi
m
Him:Iseey
ou'
vegothi
m wr
appedar
oundy
our
f
inger
 
Me:
Iwi
sh.It
hinki
t'
stheot
herwayar
ound 
Hi
m: l
etmeknowwhenandwher
e,andI
'
llbe
t
here
Me:
cool

Igav
eSi
zweanot
herhug,
andhel
eft
.

Isatbackdownf
eel
i
ngabi
tbet
ter
.Thef
act
thatSiy
ahadhel pedSi
zwepr
ov edhewasn'
tal
l
bad.InfactIt
hinkitmademelovehi
m even
mor e.

Icarr
iedonwi t
ht hereport
sthr
oughoutt
heday
.
Bythetimeitwast imetogohome.Ihad
proofr
eadallofthem andwasgl adt
hat
every
thingwasinor der.

WhenIar ri
vedhome,IsawSi
ya'
scarparkedi
n
thegarage,Iwasrel
iv
edhewashome.Itwould
benicetohav edi
nnerwit
hhi
m andj
ustcatch
up.

Ifi
rstwenttot
hekitchentogr
eetmam Mart
ha,
thenIwenttoourbedroom.Ineededani
cehot
shower,andhopef
ullySi
yawouldjoi
nme.

WhenIgott
oourr
oom Si
yawassi
tt
ingi
nbed,
wit
hhislapt
oponhislap.Ican'
tsayI
'
m
sur
pri
sed.Idon'
tknowany onewhoworksas
muchashedoes.

Me:
Hibaby
Hi
m:Hì
Me:
Whendi
dyougetback?
Him:I
fyouhadbother
edtoanswery
ourphone,
youwould'
veknownIwasbackawhil
eago 
Me:hawbaby.Iwasbusywiththel
egalrepor
ts
f
ort
heBeij
ingdeal,
Itot
all
yforgott
hatIhadput
myphoneinsil
ence
Hi
m:di
dn'
tAndr
eagi
vey
oumymessages
Me:
no.It
oldherdi
dn'
twantt
obedi
stur
bed.
 
Hi
m:mhmm

Iputmylapt
opandhandbagaway,andtookoff
myclot
hesandputt
hem inthel
aundrybasket
,
t
henwr
appedat
owel
aroundmy
sel
f.

Il
ookedandSiya,andsawhewaspout ing.
Goshhecanbesuchababyatt i
mes.Ijust
knewhewantedat t
ent
ionandformet otel
lhi
m
howsorryIam t
hatIdidn’
tanswerhi
scalls
BlahBl
ahBlah

Iwentovert
ohi m, andpi
ckedhi
slapt
opof
fhi
s
l
ap,andputitaside.

ThenIsatonhi
slapi
nsquatposi
ti
onf
aci
ng
hi
m

Me:
whyy
oupout
ing?
Hi
m;I
’
m notpout
ing 
Me;
babyYou’
repout
ing.Tel
lmewhatIcando
t
omakeitbet
ter
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
I’
m notOl
wet
ho 
Me;
doy
ouwantmet
oki
ssi
tbet
ter
 
Hi
m;(Chuckl
es)y
ouar
eannoy
ingy
az
Me;
il
ltaket
hatasay
es

Ileanedi
nandtr
acedki
ssesf
rom hi
sneck,
all
thewaytohisl
i
ps.

Thenst
opped,
justashewasenj
oyi
ngi
t.

Me;
bet
ter
? 
Hi
m;notqui
te
Me;
wantanot
herki
ss 
Hi
m;mhmm

Il
eanedi
nagain,
andstar
tedkissi
nghi
m.Thi
s
ti
meIcoul
dfeelt
hathehadletgoofhi
smood,
andwasenj
oyi
nghi
msel
f.

Iwastemptedt
ostop,j
ustt
opi
sshi
m of
f,butI
wasenjoy
ingmysel
ftoomuch.

Iprayedthathi
sphonewouldn’
tdi
sturbus,
becauseIswearIwouldn’
tbecalmifitdi
d.I
wasint hemood,andI’
dbedamnedi fIdi
dn’
t
getmyl ovi
ngbecauseofhi
sjob.

Siy
a,undidmyt owel
,andstart
edplayingwith
mynipples.Iguessi
twasconv eni
ent,thatIwas
nakedunderneathmyt owel
,becausebyt he
waythingswereprogressi
ngitwouldn’tbetoo
l
ongnow.

Ihel
pedhim outhist-
shi
rt,
andst ar
tedundoi
ng
hi
sbelt.Thi
ngswer eget
ti
nghot t
erbythe
minut
e.SiyaIusuall
ymadel ov
einasl owand
t
enderpace,
butt
odaywasdi
ff
erent
.

I
twashotandst
eamy,al
lIwant
edwast
ofeel
hi
minme,andheknewit
. 
Heshi
mmiedouthispant
s,andt
hrust
ed
hi
msel
fint
ome,thensti
ll
ed.

Myhear twasbeatingsofast,
andt hef
ull
ness
wasabi ttight
.Iwasgladhehast i
l
led,
because
Ineededt hemoment ,j
ustt
ogetusedt ot
he
full
ness.Imeanithadbeenov er2months
sincewehaddonet hi
s,somybodyneededt o
readjust
.

Siyawasst
ari
ngatmewit
hthosel
ust
ful
eyes
thatdr
ovemeinsane.

Idi
dn’
twantt
owai
tany
mor
e,soIst
art
ed
mov i
ng.Si
yamatchedmypace.Idon’tknowif
i
twasmebei ngont op,
orhi
m spanki
ngme, but
al
lIcamesohard,thatmybodystart
ed
shacki
ng.

Si
yadi
dn’
tlastmuchl
onger
,andIj
ustcol
l
apsed
ont
ohi
schest. 
Hi
m;damn
Me;
yaah
Hi
m;wannagoagai
n?
Me;
hel
lyah
Hi
m;I
llr
acey
out
otheshower
 
Me;
giv
emeasect
ocat
chmybr
eat
h.

Isl
owl
ygotoffofSi
ya,
andusedt
het
owel
to
cl
eanmysel
fup. 
Hest
oodup,
andwewentt
otheshower
.
Wemadel ovei
ntheshower
,andt
henont
he
bat
hroom f
loor
.

Afterthe3rdroundIcouldn’
tgoany more.It
s
wasast houghSi yawaspunishingmef or
keepinghim waiti
ngfor2mont hs,buti
nmy
opinionitwaswor t
ht hewai
t.Atleastt
herewas
not r
aceofJessicainmymi nd, andhopeful
ly
nowwewoul dfinall
ybeabletomov eon
[
05/
13,
20:
53]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

102

Si
yapi
ckedmeup,offt
hebat
hroom f
loorand
putmeonthebed.
 
TosayIwast
ir
edwasanunder
stat
ement
.
Hehadl it
eral
l
yusedupalltheenergyt
hatIhad
l
eftfortheday.Il
ookedathim andhewas
gr
inningatme

Me;
whatar
eyougr
inni
ngabout
 
Hi
m;Ili
kel
ooki
ngaty
ouwhenwe’
vej
ustmade
l
ove.
 
Me;
that
’scr
eepy
 
Him;why
?Youal
way
shav
esomegl
owt
hing
goi
ngon
Me;glow?Areyouseri
ous?Incasey
ouhav en’
t
not
iced,I
’
mf l
ippi
ngexhaust
ed.Myhairisa
messandi pr
obablyl
ookli
keamonst er
 
Hi
m;t
hatmeansIdi
dagoodj
ob 
Me;Yousur
eashell
did.ButnowIt
hinkIneed
ani
cebackformynunu 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
whywoul
dyouneedani
cepack?
 
Me;
I’
m swol
l
ent
hat
’swhy
.Whowoul
dn’
tbe
af
ter3consecut
iver
ounds?
 
Him;Ihadacaseofbl
uebal
l
sbabe.Whatdi
d
youexpect
? 
Me;
youl
ovet
oexagger
atene
Hi
m;Icanki
ssy
ournunubet
teri
fyoul
i
ke 
Me;hel
lno.Onceyougodownther
ewebot
h
knowwhathappensaft
erwar
ds 
Him;(chuckles)Idon’
tthi
nkIcoul
dev
erget
enoughofy ou

Me;
Ishoul
dhopenot
 
Hi
m;weshoul
dgohav
edi
nner
 
Me;
Idon’
twantt
owal
k 
Hi
m;sohowar
eyougoi
ngt
oeat
 
Me;
can’
twehav
edi
nnerher
e 
Him;wecan.Butwho’
sgoi
ngt
obr
ingt
hef
ood
up 
Me;
you
Hi
m;y
azy
ouar
espoi
l
t 
Me;youspoi
ltme.Pl
usbabywhent
hel
astt
ime
youboughtmefoodi
nbedwas 
Hi
m;nev
er 
Me;
(gi
ggl
es)t
hati
snot
hingt
obepr
oudof
 
Hi
m;zulumendon’
tdoal
ltheser
omant
icwhat
what
’s
Me;buty
ou’remyZuluman,
andIl
ovei
twhen
youdoal
lthoset
hings 
Hi
m;don’
tut
terawor
doft
hist
oany
one
Me;
Iwont
 
Hi
m;ok,
il
lgof
etchdi
nner
Me;
don’
tputany
thi
ngon
Hi
m;y
ouwantmet
owal
kdownst
air
sbutnaked?
Me;
yes.Il
i
kel
ooki
ngaty
ou’
rebut
t
Hi
m;nothappeni
ng.Whatwi
l
lmam Mar
tha
t
hinky
e? 
Me;
she’
sret
ir
edf
ort
heni
ght
 
Hi
m;haaRi
fi
loe.Ngeke

Siy
agotupshaki
nghishead,heputonhi
s
short
sandwentdownst
airst
ogetusdinner
.

Ideci
dedtoputonhist
-shi
rt
,becauseitwasa
bi
tchil
ly
.IAsIwasputt
ingonSiya’
sshirt,
I
noti
cedthathi
sphonewasinthefrontpocket
.

I
’m notr
eal
lyonet
osnoop,butapartofmejust
wantedtor
eassur
emysel
f.SoItookhisphone
i
nmyhandandwenttohismessages.  
Isawafewmessagesfr
om hismot
her
,and
ther
eweresomefr
om Jessi
ca.

It
oldmy
sel
fnott
oopent
hem,
butmyhear
t
wantedt
omakesur
ethatnot
hingwasgoi
ngon
bet
weenthem.

Oner
ead

*
**Iknowy
ousai
dyour
egr
etwhathappened.
*
***
* 
ButIj
ustcan’
tseem t
ogetov
ert
hatni
ght
Pl
easet
hinkaboutmyof
fer

Si
ya’
sresponsewas

***I
'm nott
ell
i
ngy
outhi
sagai
n.What
happenedwasamist
ake**
** 
Ilovemywif
e.Andt
hatwi
l
lnev
erchange.So
takeyouof
fer
 
Andst
uffi
t.
Her
*
***
**webot
hknowshewi
l
lnev
ert
rul
ymake
y
ouhappy
.**
***
Don’texpectmetost
opwhatI’
m doi
ng.What
weshar edwasspeci
alandnot
hingy
ousaywil
l
changet hat
.

Hi
m;

*
***
*JessI’
vet
oldy
ouov
erandov
eragai
n,t
hat
I
’
m noti
nter
est
ed
Doyoursel
fafavorandst
opwi
tht
hisbul
l
shi
t.
JessI
’m ser
ious,
 
Ot
her
wisey
oul
eav
emenochoi
ce

Seeingthesemessagesmademewantt o
fuckingki
llt
hisJessi
cachi
ck.Shespeci
fi
cal
l
y
saidal
lshewant edwast ohelpLinda,andnow
shewant edSiyaforhersel
f.Iswearthi
smade
mewantt okil
lher.Butnowwasn’tthetimeto
bepissed,inst
eadIhadt omakesur ethatSiya
stucktohiswor daboutnotbeingint
erested.
Nx a

Ihear
dSi yaappr
oachi
ng,
soIlockedhi
sphone
andputitundert
hebed.I
fheaskedmeI ’
dsay
i
tprobablyfel
lwhenIt
ookhi
sshirtof
f.
 
Iqui
ckl
ygotbackont
othebedandputont
he
TV.

Siyacameincar
ryi
ngatray
.Wit
hourf
oodonit
.
Istooduptohel
phim,t
hensatont
hebedand
start
edeat
ing

Icoul
dn'
tlookatSi
yaintheey
es.Ikindoff
elt
badforwhatIhaddone,
butatleastmyheart
wasatpeaceknowi nghewasn’ tina
relat
ionshipwi t
hher .AllIhadtodonowwas
fi
gureoutawayonhowt odeal wi
thJessi ca.I
wassi ckoft hesebitchesmessi ngwit hme.
Theywer eal
l sousedt omebei ngqui te,and
sweet ,butnowi twast imeIthoughtt hisonea
l
esson.May bet hentheywoul dknowImean
business.Nxa, Ididn’tar
gueandf ightwi t
hSiya,
j
ustsosomer andom chi ckcoulddigt hei
r
clawsintohim.

Hi
m;whatar
eyout
hinki
ngabout
 
Me;
not
hingbabe 
Hi
m;y
ouseem l
i
key
ou’
ref
araway
 
Me;
I’
mjusthappyt
hatt
hingsbet
weenusar
ea
l
otl
esst
ense
Hi
m;t
hepowerofmakeupsex
Ir
oll
edmyey
esathi
m andcar
ri
edoneat
ing.
Afterdi
nner
,Itookourplatestotheki
tchen,and
cleanedupabit,becauseSiyahadmadea
messwhi l
edishi
ngup.ThenIwentbackt oour
room. 
If
oundl
ooki
ngaround,andIj
ustknewhewas
l
ooki
ngf
orhisphone.

Hi
m;babehav
eyouseenmyphone?
Me;
nol
ove
Iwentt
obrushmyteeth,
andwhenIgotback
hehadthephonei
nhishand.

Me;
youf
oundi
t 
Hi
m;y
ah,
must
’vef
all
enundert
hebed
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;come.Weshoul
dgetsomesl
eep
Igoti
ntobed,
andcuddl
eswi
thSi
ya.

Me;
babe 
Hi
m;Yes
Me;
canImakeasuggest
ion
Hi
m;ok
Me;I’
m notqui
tecomf
ortabl
ewit
hthef
actt
hat
youdidn’
tsl
eephomelastni
ght
Hi
m;butbabeIwaswor
king 
Me;
Iknowt
hat.ButIj
ustneedust
ofi
ndaway
t
oaccommodateeachot
her 
Hi
m;I
’
mli
steni
ng 
Me;Ineedtohaveyourschedule.SoIki
ndof
knowwherey ouar
e,sothatevenwheny ou
can’
ttal
k.I
’
llknowyou’
reinCTorwher ever
.
Andyoucanhav emyschedule,soyouknow
whoI’
m meet i
ngwit
handwher e 
Hi
m;wecandot
hat
,butwhathappenedl
ast
ni
ghtwasl astmi
nut
e.I
tsnotsomet
hingt
hat
wasplanned. 
Me;
whatexact
lyhappened 
hi
m; oneoft
heagentsfort
heOPSgr
oupi
n
Miami,wascapt
ured.
 
Me;
oh 
Hi
m;whatdi
dyout
hinkIwasdoi
ng 
Me;Idi
dn’
tthi
nkanythi
ng.Iwasj
ust
uncomf
ort
ablebecauseIcoul
dn’
tgethol
dof
you 
Him; Babe,thewhol esi
tuationdi
eddownat
around10am.Iwasonmyj etby11:00am, and
arri
vedher eataround13:30pm.I fyoucheck
yourphone, you’l
lseeItextedyouwhenIl eft,
andIcal l
edy ouwhenIl anded.Ieventri
ed
you’r
eof fi
celine,butal
lyourcall
swer ediverted
toAndr ea.SoIleftmessageswi thher 
Me;Iknowthatbabe.Buti
t’
sjustnow
comfort
abl
esleepi
ngalone,whil
eyou’
re
unr
eachabl
e
Hi
m;i
l
lmakeadeal
wit
hyou 
Me;
what
 
Him;I
’l
lgetmyPAt ocombi neourdiar
ies,t
hat
waywehav eaccesstowhat ev
ertheotheris
doi
ng.andifI’
m unavai
l
ableandit’
snoti nmy
di
aryIwil
lgethertomaily
oumywher eabouts
orwhenI’
llbeavai
labl
e 
Me;
soundsf
air
 
Hi
m;I
’
llgetont
oitf
ir
stt
hing 
Me;
thanksbabe
Hi
m;y
ouknowIl
ovey
our
ight
 
me;
yaah,
Ido 
Hi
m; don’
tev
erdoubtthat
.Nomat
terwhat
we’
regoingt
hrough.
 
Me;
I’
ll
try
 
Him;good.Nowgi
vemeaki
ssgoodni
ght
.I’
ve
gotanearl
ymorni
ng
IgaveSiyaakissgoodni
ght,andpretendedt o
sleep.NowthatIhadsor
tedoutSiya, Ineeded
tosortoutt
hisJessi
cachick.Butf
irstIneeded
Siyatobefastasl
eep.

WhenIwas100%surethathewasasl
eep,Igot
up,
andtookmycel
lphonewithmetothe
l
ounge.

Therewasonl
yoneper sonwhocouldhel
pme
wit
ht hei
nfot
hatIneededandthatper
sonwas
Nail
s

Idi
all
ednai
l
s,andhepi
ckedupont
he2ndr
ing

Hi
m;bossl
ady
 
Me;
nai
l
sHi
.Howy
oudoi
ng 
Hi
m;wel
lthanky
ou.
Me;I
’
m sorrytobecall
i
ngy ouony
ourper
sonal
mobi
le.ButIneedafavor
 
Hi
m;I
’
m al
lear
s 
Me;butf
ir
styouhavet
opromisemet
haty
ou
sayawordaboutt
hist
oanyone 
Hi
m;notev
enGhost
 
Me;
especi
all
ynotGhost
 
Hi
m;(
sigh)Icantpr
omi
sey
out
hat
 
Me;
Pleasenai
ls.I
tsi
mpor
tant
.Itwi
l
lmeanal
ot
t
ome.Please 
Hi
m;IhopeIwontr
egr
ett
his 
Me;
youwont
.Ipr
omi
se 
Hi
m;ok,
let
sheari
t 
Me;Ineedyout
ogetmeabackgr
oundsear
ch
onsomeone 
Hi
m;who?
Me;
Jessi
ca 
Hi
m;Jess,
 
Me;
yaah 
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
Ican’
tsay
,butIneedi
t 
Him;whatexacti
nfor
mat
iondoy
ouneedon
her 
Me;
ever
ythi
ng
Hi
m;damn.Whathasshedonet
oyou?
Me;
youdon’
twantt
oknow 
Hi
m; I
’
llgetont
oit
.Buti
fGhostf
indsout
,Iwant
noparti
nit 
Me;
hewon’
tknow 
Him;ok.Gi
vemeadayort
woandI
’
llhav
ethe
detai
l
stoyou 
Me;
thanky
ou
Iputthephonedownandsmil
ed.Ineededt
o
knowal lt
herewast
oknowaboutthi
sJessi
ca
Chick.Befor
eIcameupwit
haplan.

Iputmyphoneonsi l
entandwentbacktobed.
TomorrowIwoul dstartdi
ggingupsomeinf
o
onLinda.Shewast heonewhoboughtJessica
i
ntomyl ife,
soifIwasgoi ngtost
opthi
ssnake,
Iwouldhav etomakesur ethatLi
ndawasal
so
putinplace.

Itwasclearthatshedi dn’
tlearnherlessonthe
fir
stti
me,sonowi twast i
meImadesur eshe
wouldnev ertr
yany t
hingagai n.Thi
stime
aroundIwasn’ tgoi
ngt obesof or
givi
ng.If
Lindawant edroundtwo.Shehadbet termake
sureshewasr eady.
[
05/
13,
20:
54]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
103

Iwokeupt hefol
lowingmorni
ngwi t
hSiya
wrappedaroundme.Ihav enoideahowIf al
l
asleepi
nthishotweatherwit
hhim wrapped
aroundmel i
kethis.

Me;
siy
amaanmov
eov
er 
Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;didny
ousayyouhadanear
lymor
ning?I
ts
al
ready7:
30am 
Hi
m;Shi
t

Si
ya,j
umpedoutofbed,
andwenttoshower
.I
fi
gur
edbyhi
sresponsehewasl
ate.

Igotup,
madethebedandtookourl
aundr
yto
thel
aundryr
oom,t
henIwenttoJoi
nSiyai
nthe
shower

Me;f
orsomeonewho’
slat
eyou’
ret
aki
ng
f
orev
eri
ntheshower
 
Hi
m;Iwashopi
ngy
ouwoul
djoi
nme

Me;wel
l
,her
eIam.Butar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
obe
l
ate?
Hi
m;may
be,
butIam t
hebossaf
teral
l

Ileanedinandstar
tedki
ssi
nghi
m.Thenone
thingledtoanot
her.
 
Whenweweredone,wewashedupagai
n,t
hen
wentt
ogetdr
essed.

Siy
aworehisbeigesui
twi
thawhiteshi
rtandI
woremyblackformalj
umpsui
t,wi
thmyblack
heels
Hi
m;y
oul
ooksexy
 
Me;
thanksbabe 
Hi
m;notsur
eIli
key
ougoi
ngt
otheof
fi
ce
l
ooki
ngli
kethat
 
Me;
Siy
a
Hi
m; I
’
mj ustsay
ing.Especi
all
ythewayi
tshows
of
fyou’r
ecurves

Si
yacameandst
oodbehi
ndmeandspanked
me

Me;
behav
e 
Hi
m;How?WhenIhav
ethemostbeaut
if
ulwi
fe
i
nthewor
ld 
Me;
what
’swi
thal
lthecompl
i
ment
s? 
Hi
m;can’
tIj
ustadmi
remywi
fe
Itur
nedar
ound,
andputmyar
msar
oundhi
s
neck

Me;
ofcour
sey
oucan 
Hi
m; whenyoulookatmel
i
ket
his,
itmakesme
wanttost
ayinbed 
Me;
wel
l
,you’
ret
heboss.Whydon’
tyou
Hi
m;mhhm t
empt
ing 
Me;
myschedul
eisopenf
ort
oday
 
Hi
m;damn 
Me;
off
ergoi
ngonce,
twi
ce 
Hi
m;sol
d. 
Me;
youser
ious?
Hi
m;y
aah,
but
Me;
off
erexpi
redat“
but
”
Hi
m;makei
tupt
omet
oni
ght
 
Me;
ok

Igavehim akiss,
andthankedmyl uckyst
arshe
didn’
ttakemeuponmyof fer
,becauseIwanted
togetmypl aninmoti
on. 
Si
yaleft
,andIstay
edt
ohav
ebr
eakf
ast
,then
wenttotheof
fice.

WhenIar ri
ved,IaskedAndreatosendSizweto
myof f
iceandtohol dmycal l
s.Unl
essifi
tsSi
ya.
Thelastthi
ngIneedi sformet omisshiscal
l
s
agai
n,andhav ehim breat
hingdownmyneck
aboutit
.

Sizwearr
ivedasIwasbusyonLi
nda’
s
Facebookpage

Me;
pleasecl
oset
hedoorbehi
ndy
ou
Si
zwecompl
i
ed,
thensatopposi
teme 
Me;
Ineedy
ourhel
p 
Hi
m;what
’sup 
Me;
Ineedagun

Si
zwel
ookedatmel
i
keIwascr
azy
Hi
m;y
ou’
rej
oki
ngr
ight
 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
whyt
hehel
lwoul
dyouneedagun 
Me;justi
ncaseIneedone.Youneverknow
wi
tht hel
ineofwor
kSiyaisi
n.Imightneedto
pr
otectmy sel
f 
Him;sowhyar
en’
tyouaski
ngy
ourhusbandf
or
one 
Me;
becausewebot
hknowhewoul
dn’
tal
l
owi
t 
Hi
m;andwhatmakesy
out
hinkIwoul
d 
Me;
becausey
ou’
remyf
ri
end 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
thi
sisn’
tagoodi
dea.Bel
i
eveme 
Me;pl
easeSi
zwe.You’
ret
heonl
yonewhocan
hel
pme 
Hi
m; t
ell
mewhyyouact
ual
l
yneedi
t.AndI
wantt
het r
uth
Me;
weshoul
ddiscusst
hisov
erl
unch.Ther
e’s
t
oomuchtot
ell
 
Hi
m;1pm,
myt
hos?
Me;
shar
p 
Sizwestoodupshakinghi
sheadatme.It
’s
funnyhowallthemeninmyl i
fear
efor
ever
shakingthei
rheadsatme.nxa 
WhenSi zwelef
t,Iconcent
rat
edonmywor k.I
sentSiyaasmst ell
i
nghim Iwasgoi
ngtolunch
wit
hSi zwe,sincewehadn’tmergedourdi
aries
asyet.Asexpect edhephonedalmost
i
mmedi atel
y
Me;
Ndhl
ovu 
Hi
m;soy
ou’
veseenSi
zwe 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;when 
Me;
yest
erday
Hi
m;whydi
dn’
tyousayany
thi
ng 
Me;ifIremembercorrect
lyyouwerepouting,
soIdidn’tqui
tegetamomentt odiscussSizwe
wit
hy ou.Becauseaft
erthepouti
ngcame
desert
.
Hi
m;soy
ou’
regoi
ngt
olunchwi
thhi
m?
Me;
yes 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
I’
m notexactl
ycomf
ort
abl
ewi
th
youbei
ngclosetohim agai
n 
Me;
baby
,pl
ease
Hi
m;ononecondi
ti
on
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;oneoft
heguar
dsaccompani
esy
ou

Iwantedtotel
lSi
yat
ojump,
butdeci
ded
agai
nstit
. 
Me;aslongast
heguar
ddoesn’
tst
andt
oo
cl
osetous 
Hi
m;f
ine
Me;
deal
 
Hi
m;I
llseey
oul
ater
 
Me;
ok.Lov
eyou
Hi
m;I
fonl
yyouknewhowmuchIl
ovedy
ou 
Me;
Ithi
nkIhav
eani
dea
Hi
m;bef
oreIf
orget
.I’
m goi
ngt
obehomel
ate
Me;
howl
ate 
Hi
m;notsur
e. 
Me;
ok,
il
ll
etmam Mar
thaknownott
opr
epar
e
di
nner
 
Hi
m;whatwi
l
lyoueat
 
Me;
il
lgetapi
zzaonmywayhome 
Hi
m;ar
en’
tyouonadi
et 
me;
Siy
a,shutupandgobackt
owor
k 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)
 
Me;
itsnotf
unny

AsIwasstil
ltal
kingt
oSiya,Icoul
dhearther
e
wasanothercall
comingin.WhenIlookedat
thecal
l
erID,Isawthati
twashi smother

Me;
you’
remot
her
scal
l
ing 
Hi
m;oh.Ij
ustspoket
oher
 
Me;
babe,
Idon’
tknowi
fIwantt
oanswer
 
Him;Ri
fi
loe.She’
smymother
.You’r
egoingto
needtohavesomesor
tofrel
ati
onshipwit
hher 
Me;
butbabe,
shehat
esme 
Hi
m;t
hat
’sal
i
ttl
eext
reme 
Me;Si
ya,hav
eyouf
orgot
tenwhatshedi
dand
sai
daboutme
Hi
m;t
hat
’sal
ll
asty
ear
.It
s2016babe.Youneed
t
omoveon.
 
Me;
mhhhhmm
Hi m; baby ,
ther
e’snothingmor ethatIwantthen
toseet het womosti mpor tantwomani nmyl i
fe
get t
ingal ong.Plussoonwe’ llbehav i
ngour
traditionalwedding.Mymot herisgoingtobe
theonehel pingy ougetev erythinginorder
.It’
s
onlyr ightthatyougetal ong
Me;Ithoughtwewoul
djustgetaweddi
ng
pl
anner 
Hi
m;baby,
it’
sat
radi
ti
onalweddi
ng.Whywoul
d
weneedaweddi
ngplanner
?
Me;
babyhl
e 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
justt
ry.That
’sal
lIask 
Me;
(si
gh)f
ine 
Hi
m;t
hat
’smygi
rl
 
Me;
putt
hephonedownsoIcancal
lherback 
Hi
m;okl
ovey
ou 
Me;
mhmm

Icutthecal l
andputmyheadont het
able.The
l
astthingIwant edwast odealwit
hSi
ya’s
mother .Especi
all
ysinceshehatedme,but
nonet helessIcall
edherback.

Her
;makot
i

Ir
oll
edmyeyesbecause,
Iknewshewasj
ust
pr
etendi
ng
Me;
HiMa 
Her
;howar
eyoudear
?
Me;
I’
m goodma,
andy
ou 
Her;
haaimykneesar
ejustget
ti
ngwor
sebyt
he
dayyaz 
Me;
sor
ryt
oheart
hat
Her
;Iheary
oudon’
twantt
ocomev
isi
tmef
or
t
heweekend

shit.Idi
dn’
tthi
nkSi
yawouldtel
lhi
smot
herI
didn’twantt
oseeher.Mencanbesost
upi
d

Me;Ma,Idon’
twantt
oinconv
eni
encey
oui
n
yourhome.
 
Her
;don’
tbesi
l
ly.I
dlov
etohav
eyouov
er 
Me;
ahhm ma,
itsj
ustt
hat
 
Her
;lal
ela.Iknowy
oudon’
twantt
ocome
becauseofwhathappenedt helastti
meIcame
tovisi
t.ButIcanseethatIwaswr ongabout
you.Siyabongahasneverbeenthishappy.Not
evenwi t
ht hatwhor
enamedLi nda

Tjo,thatwasunexpect
ed.Idi
dn’tknow
wheat hershewasseri
ousofifshewasjust
tr
y i
ngt osoft
enmeup

Her
;phelaSiyabongatol
dmeaboutLi nda
f
all
i
ngpr egnant,
bythatHlokesguy.Haai
,
Makoti
,Icouldn’
tbel
ievei
t.Allt
histi
meshe
wastel
li
ngmei t
sSiya’
schil
d

Me;
aski
esma

Her;youknowIwassoangr ywhenSiyabonga
tol
dme, soIwenttoherhouse,andshe
confessedev
eryt
hing.Sheeventol
dmei twas
y
ouwhoconnect
edt
hedot
s.Justi
magi
ne
Me;
yaahne
Her
;Itol
dherr
ightt
hereandthent
hatIwant
not
hingmoret
odowi t
hher. 
Me;sor
rytoheart
hatma,
Iknowhowmuchy
ou
l
ovedher 
Her;
Idon’
tcar
eabouther
.Nowal
lIneedto
worr
yabouti
swelcomi
ngmyMakotitot
he
Ndhl
ovuhome.
Me;
oh 
Her;y
es.Youarethewomanf
orSiy
a.It
oldhi
m
Idon’
twanttoseeanyot
hert
iki
l
anii
nmyhouse.

Idon’
tthi
nkI’
veeverseenanyonedosucha
360inmylif
e.Notsolongagot hiswomanwas
tel
l
ingmehowmuchshehat esme, andnow
becauseLi
ndawascar r
yingHlokeschi
ld.
Me;
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)ahmm ma,
Ishoul
dgo
Her
;soI
’
llseey
ouonFr
iday
 
Me;ahmm,
yaa.Si
yaandIwi
l
lseey
ouon
Fr
iday 
Her
;okkot
i.By
eby
e 
Me;
bye

Fuckinghel l
,whatwast hatal
labout?AndnowI
honestlydidn’thaveachoi cebuttogoandsee
her.Iwoul dhav etoputonanactf ortheenti
re
weekend.Icoul dn’texactlyberudetot he
woman, ifshewaspr etendingtobeni ce.I
woul dalsohav etopretend.AfterallheisSiy
a’s
mot her.Ishould’veknownt hathewoul dmake
upwi thherev entual
ly.
[
05/
13,
20:
54]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

104
(
cropt
opi
nser
t.I
'
m sor
ry,
butWor
kiscr
azy
)

:
(

Aft
erSpeakingt
oSiya’
smother,Ical
l
edSiy
a
back.Ineededt
omakesurehewasgoi ngto
spendtheweekendinKZNwithme.Therewas
nowayIwasgoi ngal
one.Never

Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
cany
out
alk 
Hi
m;y
es.What
’sup?
 
Me;
Ijustspoket
oyourmom 
Hi
m;and 
Me;
Iguesswe’
regoi
ngdownt
oKZN 
Hi
m;t
hanksbabe 
Me;
Siy
ayoubet
termakesur
ethaty
ouar
e
t
herewi
thme.Ihonest
lywi
l
lki
l
lyoui
fyou
makemegobymy self
 
Hi
m;Iwi
l
lbabe.Ipr
omi
se 
Me;
Siy
a.I
’
m ser
iouse 
Hi
m;Iknowy
ouar
e 
Me;
sowhyar
eyougi
ggl
i
ng?
 
Hi
m;i
m sor
rykebabywam 
Me;
mxm.Makesur
eyou’
ret
her
e 
Hi
m;okl
ove 
Me;
bye

Icutt
hecal
landjustl
aughed.Thi
swasgoing
tobeonehel
lofanint
erest
ingweekend.
 
Af
terspeaki
ngtoSi
ya,
Iconti
nuedwit
hmywork,
Si
zwearri
vedandwewalkedoutforl
unch.
 
WhenIgottorecept
iononeofSiy
a’sguards
waswait
ingforus.Wegotintheca,andhe
dr
oveust
oMy
thos.
 
Whenwear ri
vedatmythos.Isatopposi
te
Si
zwe, andt
hankf
ull
ytheguardstoodata
di
stanceaway.

Hi
m;y
ouneedt
otel
lmewhyy
ouneedagun 
Me;Ij
usthaveafewthingspl
anned,
andImi
ght
needt
oprotectmysel
f 
Him;Fi
Fi,
ifyouneedmyhelp,
thenIwantt
o
knowexactl
ywhatyouhaveplanned 
IknewthenthatIhadnochoi
cebuttocome
cl
ean.IneededSizwe’
shel
p,andt
hiswasmy
wayofgetti
ngit.

Itol
dSizweev er
ythi
ng.From whenIf
ir
stLinda,
tothepartaboutSiy
asleepi
ngwi t
hJessi
ca. 
Hel
ookedatmewi
nshock
Hi
m;andy
oust
ayed 
Me;
yaah 
Hi
m;wow 
Me;
Iknow 
Him;sonowy
ouwantt
ogetbackatt
hese
peopl
e 
Me;
ya
Hi
m; butRi
fi
loe,don’
tyouthi
nky
oushoul
d
r
atherj
ustl
eav eital
oneandmoveon 
Me;notti
l
lI’
vegi
vent
hem at
ast
eoft
hei
rown
medici
ne 
Hi
m;(
sigh)whatdoy
ouhav
epl
anned 
Me;
notsur
eyet
 
Hi
m;doesi
tinv
olv
evi
olence 
Me;
notr
eal
l
y 
Hi
m;t
hat
’snotananswer
 
Me;
no
Hi
m;ok,
sohowf
arar
eyouont
his 
Me; I
’m wai
ti
ngoni nfof
rom Nail
sregar
ding
Jess,butIdon’
treall
yhavemucht ogoonwhen
i
tcomest oLinda.PlusI
’m scar
edtodo
anythi
ng,becauseIdon’
twanthertoloseher
baby
Him;mysuggesti
onisy ouwai
tfortheinfo
fr
om Nai
l
s,justsoyouknowwhaty ou’
re
worki
ngwit
h.AndleaveLindaalone.Asyou
sai
dshe’
spregnant.Letherbe
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;Fi
fii
l
lhel
pyou.Butnoguns
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;good.Nowcanweeati
npeace?
 
Me;
fine

Si
zwechangedthetopi
c,andweenjoy
edour
l
unch,
thenwentbacktotheoff
ice.
 
AfterworkIwentstrai
ghthome.Ididn’
tbot
her
havingthepizzabecauseofthecommentthat
Siy
amadeaboutmywei ght
.Inst
eadImade
my sel
fachickensaladandateinpeace.

Afterdi
nner,Iwenttotakeashower,t
henwent
toSiya’
sclosettogetashitt
hatIcansleepi
n,
sinceSi
yawascomi nghomelate.
 
Aft
ergett
ingr
eadyforbed,
Igotint
othe
bl
anketsandt
riedget
ti
ngmy sel
fsomesleep,
butIwaswokenupbymyphoner i
ngi
ng.I
l
ookedatmycal l
erI
Dandsawi twasNail
s.

Me;
nai
l
s 
Hi
m;Bossl
ady
.I’
vegoty
ou’
redocs 
Me;
and 
Hi
m;y
ouhav
etoseei
ttobel
i
evei
t 
Me;
thatbadha
Hi
m;I
’
m onmywayt
oSAaswespeak 
Me;
why
 
Hi
m;can’
tdi
scussov
ert
hephone.I
’
llseey
oui
n
t
hemorni
ng

Iwant
edtoasknail
smorequest
ions,
buthe
hadal
readyputt
hephonedown.
 
Itr
iedgett
ingbacktosleepbutIj
ustcouldn’
t.
Somethingaboutthefactt
hatnail
swouldtravel
al
lthewayf r
om Cubat oSAjusttogivemea
fi
l
e.Somet hi
ngjustdi
dn’tf
eelri
ght,butt
here
wasnothingIcoulddobutwaitandsee.

Siy
aar ri
vedj
ustasIwasdrif
ti
ngofft
osleep
again.Idi
dn’
tbotherwaki
ngup.Iwastooti
red
andjustneededsleep.

WhenIwokeupt
hef
oll
owi
ngmor
ning,
Iwas
anxiousashel
l.Iwant
edt
ogettowor
k.Iknew
thatifSi
yasawmehewouldsensemyanxiet
y. 
Iquickl
yhadashower,whi
lehewasasl
eep,
thengotdressed,
andbasi
cal
lyr
anoutt
he
bedroom. 
Probl
em iswhenIgottothekitchen,
Nail
swas
si
tti
ngtherehav
ingbreakf
ast.Iimmediat
ely
fr
ozewhenIsawhi m.

Me;
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e 
Hi
m;r
elax
Me;
rel
ax?Siyai
supst
airs.Howar
eyougoi
ng
t
oexpl
ainyoubei
nghere? 
Hi
m;he’
sexpect
ingme
Me;
shi
t.Yout
oldhi
m 
Hi
m;y
es
Me;
fucki
nghel
lNai
ls.Whydi
dyouhav
etodo
t
hat
?He’sgoi
ngtokil
lme 
Hi
m;r
elax.Youmi
ght
’vej
ustsav
edhi
sli
fe 
Me;
how

If
eltSi
yastandi
ngbehi
ndme, bef
oreIcould
evenfi
nishmysent
ence.It
urnedaroundand
l
ookedathim.

Hi
m;soy
ou’
rei
ncept
orgadgetnow?
 
Me;
baby
 
Hi
m;I
lldeal
wit
hyoul
ater
. 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;Nai
l
s,myof
fi
ce.Now

Nailsstoodup,andfol
l
owedSi ya,whi
l
eIjust
stoodinthedini
ngroom, wonderi
ngwhatthe
hellIhadgott
enmy sel
finto.
[
05/
13,
20:
55]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
105
(
cropt
opagai
n)

(Gotmeeti
ngst
il
l1pm.I
llpostal
ongi
nser
t
aft
erthat
)

Ist
oodint
hedini
ngroom notknowingwhet
her
tof
oll
owSiyaandNail
s,ort
orathergotowork?

Iwantedtoexplai
nmy selft
oSiya,butt
heway
helookedsomad, If
iguredI’
drathergi
vehi
m
spaceandgot otheoffi
ce.

WhenIarr
ivedattheof
fi
ce,i
twasratherqui
et.I
l
ookedatmywat chanditwasal
ready
09:
00am. 
Iwal
kedpastr
ecept
ion,
andwentpassed
Andr
ea’
sof
fi
ce,
andsheal
sowasn’
tatdesk.

Myguttoldmetogobackhome, butIthought
not
hingabouti
t.If
igur
edt
hatmay bethestaff
wasatameet i
ngorsomet
hing.

WhenIgott oomyof fi
ce,Ii
mmedi at
elyf
roze.
Theplacehadbeent otal
l
ytrashed.Mybooks
wereallov
erthef l
oor,
mydeskhadsmashed.
Andforsomer easonmypi ctur
esofmeand
Si
yawer emissing.

Ist
oodatthespott r
yingt
of i
gureoutwhatwas
goi
ngon.Af ewsecondslaterthi
ngsstar
tedto
fal
li
ntopl
ace.AllIneededtodowast ogetthe
hel
loutofhere.

Isear
chedmyhandbagformyphone,soIcould
phonethesecur
it
ydet
ail
sdownstai
rs,butf
roze,
becauseIhadagunt
othebackofmyhead.

Her
;Iwaswonderi
ngwhenyouwoul
dar
ri
ve.
We’
vebeenwait
ingfory
ou

Hear
ingthi
sbit
ch’
svoice,
pissedmet
hehel
lof
f.
WhatthefuckwasJessi
caupt o?

Me;Iwouldsayi
t’
sni
cet
oseey
ouagai
n,but
obv
iousl
yI’dbel
yi
ng 
He;
cockyasev
erIsee
Me;
Jessi
ca,
whatar
eyoupl
ayi
ngat
Her;
me?Nothing.Butthepeopl
eIworkfor
.
Theyar
etheonesy ouneedtobeafr
aidof 
Me;youwor
kforSi
ya.Whyt
hehel
lwoul
dIbe
af
rai
dofmyownhusband? 
Her
;(gi
ggl
es)
 
Jessica,
putdownt hegun,andItur
nedaround
tofaceher.Thelookinhereyes,
sentchi
l
ls
downmyspi ne.
 
Shehandedmeabal
acl
ava 
Her
;putt
hison 
Me;
fuckno 
Her
;I’
m notaski
ngt
wice 
Me;
Jessi
ca,

Shel
i
ftedhegunandpoi
ntedi
tatme 
Her;Nothi
ngwi l
lgi
vemegrat
erjoy,
thanto
shootyourbrai
nsout.Doy
oursel
fafavourand
putthebalacl
avaon. 
IcouldhearSi
ya’
svoi
cei
nmyhead,tel
li
ngme
todoast ol
d.Ir
oll
edmyeyes,
andputonthe
balacl
ava.

If
eltmyphonev
ibr
ati
ngi
nmybag,
putdi
dn’
t
dar
eanswerbecauseIknewi
twasSi
ya

Her
;wal
k 
Me;
wher
etoo?
Her
;justwal
ktowar
dst
hebasement
. 
Me;
whathav
eyoudonet
omyst
aff
 
Her;don’
twor r
y,noone’shur
t.Al
lwewant ed
wasy ou,andnowt hatwehaveyou,
ev eryone
el
sewi l
lbeletgo,butifyout
rysomething,we
ki
ll
them all.

I’
l
lbehonestandsayIwasscaredshit
less.Thi
s
Jessicachi
ckhadadar
ksidetoher,andthat
scaredme. 
Iwal
kedtowardsthegarage,wit
hJesswal ki
ng
behi
ndme.Imadeal i
tt
lepray
eraskingGod,to
hel
pmepar t
ici
pate.Iwoul
dnev erl
i
vewi t
h
mysel
fifsomethi
nghappenedt omyst af
f,
becauseofmyst
ubbor
nness.

Whenwegott ot hegar
age, therewereabout20
pol
icecarswaitingforus.Jessicaopenedone
ofthem andtoldmet ogeti n.Inear
lyprotested,
butthenthoughtaboutallthel i
vesatstake,and
optedtogetin.

Ihadsomanyquest i
onsgoingthroughmy
mind.Li
kewhyt herewerepolicecars?Orwhy
Siy
awasn’ ther
ey et
.All
ofthiswasj ust
confusi
ngashel l
.AndIhadnoonet oanswer
myquest i
ons. 
Onceinsi
dethecar
,Jessi
cast
eppedi
nnextt
o
me,andthedri
vert
ookoff.
 
Itwasobvi
ousthatthesepeopl
ewer e
prof
essi
onals,
becauseofthewayt heyspoke
andeventhefactt
hatallt
hepoli
cecar swere
i
denti
cal
,andtheyallwenti
ndiff
erent
dir
ections.Soevenifsomeonewastr
ackingus,
i
twoul dbediff
icul
tforthem t
oknowwhichcar
totrack. 
Myonlypray
ernowwouldbeforSi
yatogetme
outoft
hismess,bef
orei
twastool
ate.

Wedrovef
orabout3hour
s,I
’
m notsur
ewhere
wewerebecausewehadt
akensomanytur
ns.

Whenwearri
ved,
Ifel
tJessi
cai
njectmewi
th
somet
hingonmyarm.

Me;
whatt
hef
uckwast
hat
 
Her
;goodni
ghtl
ove.
 
ME;
youf
ucki
ngbi
tch.
 
Her
;shhhh,
sleepnow.You’
regoi
ngt
oneedi
t
Iwantedtof
ightt
hisf
eel
ingsobadly,
butmy
eyesweregi
vinguponme.Ihadnochoicebut
tosuccumbtothedar
knessthatpr
esent
ed
i
tsel
f

[
05/
13,
20:
56]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

106

*
***
***SI
YA*
***
***
**

Whennai l
sphonedmet otellmewhatRi fi
loe
hadrequested,Iwantedtokillher
.Shehasno
i
deawhatki ndofshitshewasget tinghersel
f
i
nto,butknowingmywi f
e,shewasobl iv
iousto
that
,andwasj ustoutforrevenge.

Nott
hatIbl
amehert
hough,
ifIhadn’
tsl
eptwi
th
Jessi
ca,shewoul
dn’
tbefeel
inginsecur
e,and
wouldn’
tbeseeki
nghel
pfrom Nail
s. 
Thef i
rstthingIdi
dwhenNai lst
oldme,wasget
him ont heJethere.Iknownail
shasasoftspot
forRifi
loe.Theonlyreasonhewouldtel
lme
aboutherr equestwouldbeifhefound
somet hingdamningaboutJess.Whichhe
apparent l
ydid.Soherehewasinmyof fi
ceas
calm asev er.

Me;
sowhat’
ssoi
mpor
tant
,thatIhadf
lyy
oual
l
t
hewayher
e
Him;y
oushouldn’
tbesohar
donRi
fi
loe.She
act
ual
lyhel
pedus 
Me;Nai
ls.Don’
ttel
lmehowtotreatmywi
fe.
Whati
nformati
ondidyouf
indonJessi
ca?
 
Hi
m;t
akeal
ookandseef
ory
our
sel
f

Ir
eadt
hef
il
ethatnai
l
shadgi
venmeov
ert
wice.
Ther
ewasnowayt
hatt
hiswasr
ight
.

Me;
wher
edi
dyouf
indt
hese 
Hi
m;oneofmyconnect
ions 
Me;
shi
t 
Hi
m;y
aah 
Me;Weneedtogettotheof
fi
ce.I
fJessi
cais
worki
ngf
orFernandezt
henever
yoneonthat
missi
oni
sindanger.
 
Hi
m;I
llcont
actBul
l
et 
Me;Shi
t.Ri
fi
loe’
sjustl
eftfort
heoff
ice,
andI
don’
thaveenoughsecuri
tydetai
l
swithher
Hi
m;webet
tergogether

IphonedRif
il
oe,t
wicebutshedi
dn’
tanswer
.
Knowinghershewasprobabl
ybusy
,andhad
for
gottent
oputherphoneoffsi
l
ent
. 
Itr
iedt
heoffi
ce,andt
herewasnoanswer
.Ij
ust
knewthen,
thatsomet
hingwasn’
tri
ght
.

Me;Nail
sIneedyoutoacti
vat
eacoder edon
t
his.Makesureev
eryindi
vi
dualwhoever
workedformeist
rackedandputonthefi
rst
f
li
ghthere. 
Hi
m;y
essi
r 
Him;makesur eBoniandBull
ethavemaxi
mum
securi
ty.Fer
nandezknowsBull
etwasmy
secondincommand.I fhe’
sgoingaft
ermehe
wil
ldefi
nitel
ybeatarget 
Hi
m;shar
p 
Me;onemor
ethi
ng.Secur
etheRi
fi
loe’
s
of
fi
ces.
 
Hi
m;sur
e

It
ookmyGun,
andr
ushedt
othegar
age.I
neededtogettoNdhlov
uCorp,tomakesure
Rif
il
oewasok.Somet hi
ngwastell
ingmeshe
wasn’t
,andthatscar
edthehel
loutofme.
WhenIar
ri
vedwithoutsi
deNdhlov
uCorp,I
i
mmediat
elyknewthatsomet
hingwaswrong.
 
Ther
ewerenoguardsatt
heDoor
,andt
hepl
ace,
l
ookeddeser
ted.
 
Iranupstai
rst
oRi
fi
loe’
soff
ice,
andfel
tmy
heartsi
nk,t
hemomentIopenedthedoor
. 
Itwasobvi
oust
hatmywor stni
ght
marehad
j
ustbecomeareal
it
y.Fer
nandezhadRi
fi
loe,
andGodknowswhatheplannedondoi
ngt o
her.
 
Myinsidesfeltl
iket heywer ebeingt orni
nto
two.TheangerIf eltwasonl ydi
rectedatme.I
don’tknowwhatt hehel lIwast hinking.I
should’
veneverallowedmy sel
ftobewi t
h
Rif
il
oe.I’
veli
terall
ybr oughthernot hingbut
tr
ouble.Whenal lshe’sev eraskedf orwaslove.
 
Ilef
ttheof f
ice,andwentdir
ect
lyt
oHQ.I fIwas
goingtofindRi f
il
oe,
Iwouldhavetout
il
iseever
y
resourceIhav eatmydisposal
.

WhenIarri
vedatHQ,If
oundmyteam alr
eady
gat
hered.I
twasgoodtoseet
hem al
lreadyfor
act
ion

Me; asyouall
know.Itl
ooksli
keJessi
ca
decidedtogoRouge.InfactI
’
dcal
lhera
fuckingt
rai
tor
. 
Ourmai nobjecti
v eistofindmywi f ealive.I
f
Fernandezwant edherdead, hewoul d’vesent
me, i
nsteadhet ookher ,whichmeansheneeds
somet hi
ng,oristry i
ngtomakeapoi nt.Ineed
al
lofy outowor kt owardsf i
ndingher .Iwantall
pl
anesst opped.Nopl aneleavesorent ersSA
ti
ll
wef i
ndher.Thisi scodeRedev eryone,
whichmeansshi tisaboutt ogetreal.
Nai
l
s;Boss,
Ithi
nky
ouneedt
oseet
his 
Me;
whati
sit
 
Him; y
ouhav eav
ideocal
lcomi
ngi
nfr
om
Fernandez 
Me;
puti
tthr
ough 
Him;t
rykeephi
m ont
hel
i
neasl
ongasy
oucan,
soIcantr
ackhi
m 
Me;
nai
l
s.Iknow.Justputhi
m ont
hescr
een.

Imovedovertowherethescr
eenswer
e,and
wai
tedtospeaktothi
sfucker
.

Hi
m;ahhGhostmyf
ri
end.Wemeetagai
n 
Me;wishIcoul
dsayi
twasapleasur
e,buttr
uth
bet
old,notsomuchundert
hecir
cumstances
Hi
m;wel
l
,youknowwhatt
hepr
obl
em i
sha?I
don’
tli
kebei
ngl
i
edt
o. 
Me;
Fer
nandez,
justgett
othepoi
nt 
Hi
m; wel
l,l
et’
sjustsay,Ihaveyou’
rel
ovel
ywi
fe.
Imustsaysheisratherbeauti
ful
 
Me;whydidyouhavetoinvol
veheri
nallt
hisha?
Sheknowsnothi
ng.Lethergo,andwecan
di
scussthi
sli
kegrownmen 
Him;(chuckl
es)youmustthi
nkI ’
m afool
.Why
onearthwouldIl
ethergo?Youknowhow
muchmoneyIcanmakef rom her?Ha.Shei
s
aft
erallt
hewifeofoneofthemostsoughtafter
gangster
.Theinf
amousGhost .Themanwho
nooneknowshi sface,
exceptforme. 
Me;
youdot
hisFer
nandez
. 
Him;youdidthisGhost
.Youthi
nkIdon’tknow
thatt
heonlyreasonyouwantedtoworkforme
wassot hatyoucoul
dgoaftermyguysand
event
uall
ykillt
heempir
ethatIhadworkedso
damnhar dfor
Me;
Sowhatnow
Him;now,Igototheroom behi
ndme, andI
havemyselfsomefunwi t
hyourwi
fe.Bythe
l
ookofthi
ngsshei sgoingtobeamazing.
 
Me;
Isweart
oGod,
ify
oul
ayonef
ingeronher
Him;whatwil
lyoudoGhost?Ihaveyoubythe
bal
lsnow,andIplanonmakingyoupayforev
er
thi
nki
ngyoucouldtakemedown

Fer
nandezcutt
hecal
l
.

Me;
Nai
l
stel
lmey
ouf
ucki
ngt
racedhi
m 
Hi
m;sor
ryboss.Hecutt
hecal
ltooqui
ckl
y 
Me;
Fuck,
fuckFuck

Ihadnev eri
nmyl i
fefeltt
hisusel
ess.
Fernandezwasr i
ght.Hehadmebyt hebal
l
s,
butIhadt oremai
ncal m.
TheonlywayIwouldbeabletofi
ndRif
il
oe,
was
i
fIremainedcal
m.Ineededtoremovemy
emoti
onsf r
om t
his,
andtreati
tli
keal
lmyother
missi
ons.

Me;
tryt
racki
ngRi
fi
loe’
sphone
Hi
m;t
ri
edt
hatal
ready
.It
’sof
fli
ne 
Me;putupt
hecamer
afoot
agef
rom Ndhl
ovu
Cor
p. 
Hi
m;I
tsup 
Me;Ineedy outoseei
fyoucanact i
vatet
he
tr
ackerthatthef
orceput
sinalloftheagent
s.
Lastti
meIcheckedJessicast
il
l hadher
Hi
m;sur
eboss 
Me;
howf
ari
sBul
l
etandBoni
 
Hi
m;ont
hei
rwayher
e 
Me;
andt
her
estoft
heOpsagent
s 
Hi
m;al
laccount
edf
or,
exceptf
orJess 
Me;
makesur
ethatbit
chisal
iv
e.Iwanttobe
t
heonet
oputabull
etthr
oughherhead

Nai
lsputupthef
oot
age.AndIst
art
edgoi
ng
t
hroughit
. 
Somet het
eam was,goi
ngt
hroughJessica’
s
l
ifewit
hafinecomb.Shewastheonl
ylinkIhad
tofi
ndi
ngRifi
loe.

Whiletherestwereint
erviewingeverysi
ngle
staf
fmemberf r
om Ndhlov uCorp.Theywer eal
l
foundanof f
iceparkoppositeofNdhlovucor p.
ItwasobviousthatFernandezwasonl yafter
me, andheplannedonusi ngRifi
loe,t
obringme
tomyknees

Me;
nai
l
s.GetSi
zwei
nher
e. 
Hi
m;y
essi
r 
Me;
makesur
eyouputat
rackeri
nhi
m 
Hi
m;sur
eboss

Icarr
iedonwi t
ht hefootage,andtri
ednott o
thi
nkaboutwhatt hatfuckerhadinstor
ef or
Rif
il
oe.AllIpr
ayedf orwast hathewasbl uff
ing,
andwoul dn’
thurther.BecauseIdon’tthi
nkI
couldeverfor
givemy sel
fifanyt
hinghappened
toher.
[
05/
13,
20:
56]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

107

Iopenedmyey es, andsawnot hi

ngbut
darkness.Myheadwaspoundi ng.Myli
pswer
e
dryandIwasthirsty.Isatup,andreal
i
zedI
wasn'thavi
ngani ghtmare.Iwasinadarkr
oom,
wi
thnoWi
ndowsort
oil
et.

Al
lther
ewas,
wasasi
ngl
ebed,
wit
hno
bl
anket
s.
MyheartskippedabeatwhenIhear
dthedoor
knobt
urning. 
Iwoul
dsayIwasscared,
butthatdi
dn'
tev
en
begi
ntodescr
ibehowIwasfeeli
ng.

Il
ookedupandi
nwal
kedi
nsomeguy
.

Hi
m:y
ou'
ref
inal
l
yawake
Me:
wher
eam I
 
Hi
m:y
ou'
rei
nhel
lbaby
Me:whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me?Idotev
en
knowyou.
 
Hi
m:whatdoIwant
?Mhmm l
etssee.
..
.Iwant
toteachyourhusbandalesson.Hethoughthe
couldtakeMedown, butunfor
tunat
elyf
orhim,I
am waysmar tert
hanheis.Sonow, I
'
m goingt
o
usey ou,t
oteachhim al
esson. 
Me;
how,
 
Hi
m:y
ou'
l
lsoonf
indout
.

Heleftmet her
e,f
eeli
ngmorescar
edthanever
.
IfSi
yawasgoi ngtohel
pmehehadbet t
erdoit
soon,becausethewayIseei
t,i
twasn'
tlongt
il
l
thi
smandoessomet hi
ng.

*
***
***
Siy
a**
***
***
*

Il
ookedatthef
ootageov
erandov
eragai
n,but
coul
dn'
tfi
ndalead.
I
twasobv i
ousthatt
hesepeopl
ewe
pr
ofessi
onals.
 
I
twasalready9pm andIhadn'
tfoundRi
fil
oe.I
don'
tknowwhat '
stheuseofmebei nga
l
ieut
enantisi
fIcan’tev
enfi
ndmyownwi f
e.

ThisiswhyIshoul d’
veneveral
lowedmy sel
fto
fal
lforRif
il
oe.I
nourl ineofwork,l
ovewasseen
asaweakness, andl i
keafoolIwentaftermy
heart,
inst
eadofwhatmyheadwast el
li
ngme.
Andt omakemat t
ersworse,Bull
eti
salso
fol
lowinginmyf ootst
eps.

Iknownowt hatnomat t
erhowev ery
thingpl ays
out,I
’m goingtohav etoletRi
fil
oego.Ther ei s
nowaywegett ohaveahappyendi ng.Ineedt o
nowmanupanddot her i
ghtthing,andt hat
wasletti
ngRi fi
l
oehav eanor mal li
fe,because
whatFer nandezhaddonewasadecl arati
onof
war,andnomat terhowmuchIwantt oresign,
andleaveal l
ofthisbehind.Alieutenantcan
neverresigninthemi ddl
eofawar .Iwoul dhav e
tofi
nishthi
s,butRif
il
oewouldal
waysbein
danger.Aslongasthiswarwentonshewould
neverbesafe.Sothebestwaywouldbeforme
to

Ilookedoveratmyt eam andj

ustknewt hat
theywer edoi
ngev er
ythi
ngtofi
ndher,andyetI
hadnev erfel
tthi
suseless.

Il
ookedup,
andsawnail
sstandi
nginfr
ontof
me.Iwassodeepi
nthought,
Ihadn'
tseeHim
walki
ngt
omydesk.

Hi
m:boss,
canIasky
ousomet
hing
Me:
askaway
Him: r
emembertheti
mey ouwereinBrazi
l
,you
hadaskedustotakeoverthecamerasat
Fernandezmansi
on
Me:
yes
Him;Ideci
dedtogothroughoutthefootage,
andaccessthecamerasagain.JusttoseeifI
coul
dfindsomethi
ng
Me;
ok,
and?
Hi
m;andIf
oundt
his 
Il
ookedatNail
scomputer,
anddidn'
tqui
te
under
standwhathewantedtoshowme
Me:
I'
mlost
Hi
m: wheny
ou(
clear
sthr
oat
)wi
thJessandt
he
gi
rl
Me;
yah
Hi
m; youhadthewat
chon,
butt
henwhey
ou
l
efti
twasoff 
Me;
so?
 
Hegavemet
hef
il
ethathehadgi
venme
ear
li
er.
 
Hi
m:i
nthi
spi
ctur
eIseet
hatJessi
cai
swear
ing
awat
chv
erysi
mil
art
oyour
s
Me:soshest
olemywat
ch.Howdoest
hathel
p
me
Him;aspar
tofyoursecuri
tydetai
l,
we
someti
mesdothingswithoutyourper
missi
on 
Me:st
opmumbl
i
ng,
andt
ell
mewhaty
ou'
re
t
ryi
ngtosay
 
Him: soaft
eryou'
reshooti
ngont
hemissi
on.I
decidedtoplacet
racker
sinsomeofy
our
personali
tems 
Me;
I'
ll
kil
lyoul
aterf
ort
hat
.Butcont
inue.
 
Hi
m:Ipl
acedat
rackeri
nyourwat
ch
Me:sowhatareyoudoi
ngst
andi
ngIf
ronti
fme?
Whyaren'
tyoutr
acki
ngit
 
Hi
m:becauseifIact
ivatet
het
racker
,they
mi
ghtsensetheradi
ation 
Me:
doesn'
tmat
ter
.Justdoi
t
Hi
myessi
r 
Me;
puti
tupont
hescr
een
Hi
m;shoboss 
Nai
l
sstart
edt
racki
ngmywat
ch,
andSi
zwe
wal
kedin

Hi
m;Boss 
Me;
yah,
 
Hi
m;y
oucal
l
ed 
Me;Ineedar eportonwhathappenedatthe
of
fi
ce.Idon’tunderstandhowanyonecouldget
i
ntothebui
lding,withsomanysecuri
tyfeatur
e
Him;I
’l
lgetont
oit
,butfi
rst
,Iwoul
dli
ket
o
under
standhowfaryouarewit
hfi
ndher
 
Me;nai
lsisbusytrackingJess.Ihav
eat
he
ent
ir
eforcelooki
ngf orher 
Hi
m;Ihav
eani
dea 
Me;
I’
m al
lear
s 
Hi
m; whaty
ou’r
eal
ldoi
ngi
sgreat
.Butweneed
t
ofindsomethi
ngt
omakethi
sguysweat

Me;
how

Hi
m;Ineedal
apt
op

Igav
eSi
zweal
apt
op

Hi
m;sothi
sFernandezguy
.Hdeal
smai
nlywi
th
pr
ost
it
uti
onanddrugsri
ght?
Me;
ya
Hi
m;doeshehav
eki
ds
Me;
no 
Hi
m;awi
fe 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;sohi
smoneyi
shi
sli
fe 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;sot
hat
’swhatwef
ocuson 
Me;
Ili
key
ou’
ret
hinki
ng 
Hi
m;Ineedoneofy
ourbesthacker
s 
Me;
nai
l
s 
Hi
m;cool
.Nowgr
abal
apt
opandl
et’
swor
kour
magi
c.

*
***
***Ri
fi
loe*
***
***
***
**

IhavenoideahowlongIhadbeenint
hishole
forbutIwashonestl
yst
art
ingt
ogetpissed.I
f
thi
sguywassof ucki
nggangst
er,
whyhadn’the
doneanythi
ng.
 
Whywasheusi ngme?LordknowsallIwanted
wastogetmyhandsont hi
sJessi
cachick.I
don’
tknowhowshet hi
nkssheisgoi
ngt oget
awaywitht
his.
AsIwast hi
nki
ngaboutJessi ca,thesameguy
whowasher ewal kedin.butt
histimehewasn’t
al
one.Oneoft heguy swasholdinganipad.I
coul
djusttel
lthatwasf il
ming

Hi
m;Takeofy
ourcl
othes

Il
ookedathi
m andwonder
edi
fhewasser
ious 
Hi
m;I
’
m notaski
ngy
ouagai
n 
Me;
fucky
ou

Hewalkedtowar
dsmeandsl
appedme.Iswear
Inear
lyf
ell
over

Him;asyoucanseeI’
m notaverypati
entman.
SoI’
m goingt
ovideocall
yourhusband,and
hopeful
l
yhecanconvinceyoutodoasy ou’
re
t
old 
Me;y
oucandowhatyouwant,Iwon’
tev
ert
ake
of
fmycl
othesf
oryou.Youcangotohel
l

Het
urnedaroundandt
oldoneoft
heot
herguy
s
t
ocal
lSiya 
ThemomentIheardSiya’
svoi
ce,t
earsstart
ed
tofl
ow.Dur
ingt
hiswholethi
ngIneverbroke,
butatt
hismoment,Ij
ustcoul
dn’
tholdback.

Hi
m; Ghostmyfr
iend.I
’
mreal
l
ysor
ry,
butIj
ust
wanthertodoastol
d 
Siy
a;Fer
nandez,
whatt
hef
uckar
eyout
alki
ng
about
 
Him;Iaskedhert
otakeoffhercl
othes,buty
our
wif
eishardheaded.SoIgaveheralit
tl
eslapto
convi
nceher 
Si
ya;
babe,
arey
ouok
Idi
ntr
espond,
Ijustnodded

Fernandez;
soghostsi
nceIhaveyourat
tent
ion,
IthoughtmaybeIwoul
dletyouwatchmeenjoy
yourwife

Si
ya;
Iwoul
dn’
tdot
hati
fIwer
eyou

Fer
nandez;
wel
l
,who’
sgoi
ngt
ost
opme

Fernandezmovedcl
osert
ome.Iwantedto
takeastepback,
butIwaspr
essedagai
nstthe
wall.

Heli
ftedhi
shandandst
art
edunbutt
oni
ngmy
shi
rt
.Icoul
dhearSi
yagoi
ngoffbutt
her
ewas
not
hinghecoul
ddo.
Itr
iedfi
ghti
ngbuthewasst r
onger.Ikepttel
l
ing
my sel
fnott
ocry,butthet
earsjustkeptfl
owing.
Iknewwhatwasgoi ngtohappen,andIdon’t
knowifIcouldhandl
eit

Wit
hev
erybuttonheundi
d,If
eltl
i
keIwas
l
osi
ngapartofmysoul.
 
Oncemyshi
twasof
f,hel
eanedi
nandki
ssed
myneck.

Idon’
tthi
nkIhaveeverfel
tsodi r
tyinmyli
fe.I
knewthenthati
fIwouldratherdie,
thanhave
thi
smanr apeme.

Ashewasbusyki
ssi
ngmyneck,
Imov
edi
nand
sunkmyt
eethi
ntohi
sear
.
Ibi
tonitfordearl
i
fe.Hetri
edget
ti
ngoutoft
he
gri
p,butIpul
ledhi
shairandbi
thar
der
.

Hescr
eamedinpai
n,whi
lehi
sguysr
ushedov
er.
Theyt
ri
edpul
l
ingmeoff,
butIhel
don.

I
fIwasgoi
ngtodieIsur
eashel
lwasn’
tgoi
ng
t
omakeiteasyf
orthem.

Bythetimetheygotmeoffofhim,mymouth
wascov er
edinhisbl
ood.Inoti
cedt
hathi
sear
wasrippedalmosthal
fway.Andmyhandhad
someofhi shai
r.

Him;
youstupi
dbi
tch.You’
regoi
ngt
ofucki
ng
payf
ort
his 
Me;
fuckof
fyouasshol
e
Hi
m; waitandseewhatI
’m goi
ngtodot
oyou.
I
’m goi
ngtomakey oupayfort
his
Hel eapedtowardsme, butIkickedhi
minthe
ball
s.I’m notmuchofaf ight
er,butt
hiswasmy
l
ife.Iknowt hatchancesofmeget ti
ngoutof
herewer esli
m.ButIst i
l
lwantedt otr
yandby
my selfsomet i
me

Theguy
sint
heroom,att
endedtoFer
nandez
,
whil
eIt
ookabi
tofabreather
.

Ihadnowdoneal lIcoul
ddo.Allthatwasleft
wasf ormetodowast oprayandhopet hat
Siyahadaplan.BecauseIwasalmostcertain
thataft
erwhatIjustdi
dFernandezwasgoi ng
tomakemesuf f
er,bef
orekil
l
ingme
[
05/
13,
20:
57]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

108
*
***
*SI
YA*
***

I
fthere’
sonet hi
ngoneneedstoknowabout
Rif
il
oe,i
t’st
hatsheiscrazyashel
l.Andtobe
qui
tehonestIlovedherevenmorebecauseof
herfei
styat
tit
ude.

Iwasgoingcr azy,whenIsawFernandezputhi
s
handsonher.I fIcoul
dcli
mbt hr
oughthe
screenIwould, butt
henRif
il
oedidsomethi
ngI
didn’
texpect
.Shebi thi
searandIactual
ly
smi l
ed.

Iknewshewast r
yingtobuyusti
me, andshe
j
ustdid.Onlyprobl
em wasFernandezisn’
tthe
ki
ndofguyt otaket hi
ngsl
iket
hislyi
ngdown.
Hewasgoi ngtomakeherpayf orthi
s,andthat
scaredtheshi
toutofme.
Luckil
ybecauseFernandezstaf
frushedt
ohi
m,
theIPadwasstil
ltapi
ng,whichmeantwecoul
d
trackt
hei
rexactlocati
on.

Il
ookedatnai
ls,andf
oroncesi
ncet
hiswhol
e
or
dealIhadhope.

Me;
nai
l
s;howf
ar 
Hi
m;2sec’
s

Thewhol
eof
fi
cewassosi
l
ent.Ever
yonewas
j
ustwai
ti
ngt
oseei
fwewouldfi
ndlocat
ion.

WhenIsawthereddot
,gi
vi
ngusal
ocat
ionIl
et
outasi
ghofrel
i
ef.
 
Myteam i
mmedi
atel
yst
oodup,
andgot
st
rapped.
Bul
letandBoniswawalkedj
ustasIwasget ti
ng
st
rapped.Therewasn’
teventi
met ogreett
hem.
Ij
ustnodded,andcarr
iedongett
ingready.

Hl
okessai
dsomet
hingt
oBoni
,thenwal
ked
ov
ertome

Hi
m;wher
edoy
out
hinky
ou’
regoi
ng 
Me;
don’
t 
Hi
m;y
ouknowt
her
ules 
Me;
fuckt
her
ules 
Him;Ghosty
ouar en’
tinOP’
sany
mor
e.You
can’
tgoonmi ssi
ons 
Me;
getoutmyway
 
Hi
m;youarealeader.Youleadbyexampl
e.And
t
hefi
rstr
ule,
istoalwaysfoll
owtherul
es.
 
Me;
Bul
l
et,
hehasmywi
fe 
Him;andt
hat’
swhyyouhaveateam.We’
l
l
handl
ethi
s.Youj
ustgui
deusfr
om her
 
Me;
noway
s 
Him; whatdoyouthi
nkFernandezwants?
Obviouslyhe’
scount
ingonhavingyoucome
fi
ndher .I
fhegetshi
shandsony outhenhe
wins. 
Me;
Idon’
tgi
veadamn 
Hi
m; Ghost
,Ineedyoutotrustmewiththi
s.Not
j
ustasyou’
refri
end,butasyou’
resecond 
Me;
(si
gh)don’
tfuckt
hisup 
Hi
m;Iwont
 
Me;
makesur
esheget
soutt
her
eal
i
ve 
Hi
m;Iwon’
t.

Iunst
rappedmyv estandgun,andputt
hem
backi
nt hesaf
e.Thengatheredthet
eam f
or
i
nstruct
ions.Iwant
edt omakesuretheyknew
whatwasatst akehere.Thi
swasmywi fe,andI
neededthem tomakesur etheydi
deveryt
hing
i
nt hei
rpowertobringherhome

Oncet
heteam l
eft
,Iwasl
eftwi
tht
heI
Tteam,
andNai
ls.

Boniwasseatedatt
hecor ner
,looki
ngterr
if
ied.
If
eltthatBul
l
ethadl
iteral
l
yjustarri
ved,
and
al
readyhewasonami ssi
on.

*
***
***
*Ri
fi
loe*
***
***
**

Isawhuddledint
hecorner
,andpray
edt
hat
Fernandezwoul
dn’
tcomeback. 
Ithadbeenaboutanhoursi
nceIhadbi
thi
sear
,
andhehadpr omisedt
ofuckmeup. 
Ir
ockedbackandf
ort
h,pr
ayi
ng.
Idon’tknowwhathappened,butthenIhearda
l
oudbanggoof fI
twassoloud,Iheardmyear s
ri
nging.Foll
owedbygunshots.Istayedseat
ed
andpr ayedtoGodthati
twasSiya. 
Isawthehandlet
urni
ng,
andIstar
tedtocr
y.I
f
thi
swasn’tSi
ya,t
henIwasaboutt
oliv
ethe
worstni
ghtmareofmyli
fe.

Thedoorslowl
yopened,andIsawagunf i
rst.I
coul
dn’tmakeoutwhohewasbecauset he
room wassodark,
butthenhecamecloser,and
IsawitwasHlokes

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe

Forthefi
rstt
imesincet
hisst
art
ed,Il
etouta
si
gh.Itwasasthoughaweighthadbeenli
ft
ed
offmyshoulder
s
Me;
Hlokes 
Hecamecl
oser
,andputhi
sjacketov
erme.
 
Hi
m;l
et’
sgety
ouhome 
Inoddedandt
ookhi
shand.
 
Wewal kedoutandthankedGod,t
hatonce
agai
n,hehadprotectedmefrom t
hebri
nkof
deat
h.

Whenwegotoutside,
Inot
icedhowchi
ll
yitwas.
Ifi
gur
editwasaf
ter2am.AllIwant
edwasto
haveabath,
andtoseeSiy
a.

Hlokesgoti nthebackseatwithmeandwel ef
t.
Inoticedthatsomeoftheot heragent
sst
ayed
behind,butIdidn’
tcar
e.AllIwantedwastoget
thehellouthere
Hi
m;y
ouok 
Me;
(sni
ff
)ya
Hi
m;y
ouwer
ebr
aveRi
fi
loe.
Me;
justgetmehomepl
ease
Hi
m;sur
e.

Iputmyheadonhi
sshoul
der
,andj
ustl
etmy
tear
sfl
ow.

Idi
dn’tr
eali
seIhadf
all
enasl
eep,
unt
ilHl
okes
gent
lyshookmeawake

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.You’
rehome

Ir
ubbedmyey
es,
andopenedmydoor

Me;
Hlokest
hanky
ou 
Hi
m;Thanky
ourman.
 
Cl
imbedout,andsawSi
yawal
kingtowar
dsme.
Helookedl
i
kehehadagedathousandyear
s.

Hedidn’tsayanyt
hing,
hej
ustputhisar
ms
ar
oundme.Ibr eathedi
nscentcount
edmy
bl
essings. 
Therewasat
ime,wher
eIthoughtIwoul
dnev
er
beinhi
sarmsagai
n.Buther
eIwas

Webrokeourhug,
andwalkedi
nsi
de.Wewent
st
rai
ghtt
oourbedroom.

I
twasast houghSi
yacouldreadmymind.He
hadal
readyrunmybath,andhadpl
acedmy
PJ’
sont hebed 
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;don’
tthankme.
Me;
(si
gh)

Itookoffthejackett
hatHlokeshadgi
venme,
andtherestofmycl othes,
andwalkedtot
he
bathr
oom.It urnedaroundandsawthatSi
ya
wasn’tj
oiningme

Me;
joi
nme
Hi
m;y
ousur
e 
Me;
Yes

Heundr essed,andwegoti ntot hebat h.Isati

n
frontofhi m andleanedback.IsensedSi yawas
wor ried,buthedidn’tsayanythi
ng.I nsteadhe
j
ustpl ay
edwi thmyhai r,
whil
eIt ookint he
ev entsoft heday.Iknowhemi ghtthinkI ’
m
madathi m,buttr
uthbet ol
d,Iwasn’ t.Siyawas
thel oveofmyl if
e,andIhadchosent ost aywit
h
him despi tefi
ndi
ngoutt hetruthaboutwhathe
does.Il
ovedhi
m moretoday,
becausedespi
te
i
tall
,hehadkepthi
spromisetoal
waysprotect
me.
[
05/
13,
20:
58]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

109

Siy
aandIst ayedi
nt hebath,
til
lthewatergot
cold.Despi
teever
ything,
Ifel
tsoatpeacehere
i
nt hecoldwaterwit
hmykni ghtinshi
ningguns.

Hi
m;weshoul
dgetout
 
Me;
noty
et 
Hi
m;t
hewat
ersget
ti
ngcol
d 
Me;
shhhSi
ya.Justsi
t.Iwantt
oabsor
bthe
moment
Siy
asatwi t
hme,anddidn’
taskfur
ther
quest
ions.Hej
ustsatwit
hme, andletme
comet oter
mswithwhatcould’
vehappened.

WhenIfi
nal
lyfel
treadytogetout
.Wecameout ,
br
ushedourteet
h,andthenwenttogetdr
essed

Hi
m;canIgety
ousomet
hingt
oeat
 
Me;
not
hanky
ou 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loey
ouhav
en’
teat
enal
lday
 
Me;baby,
Ijustwantt
ogettobedandpr
etend
t
hatthi
swasal l
anight
mare 
Hi
m;canIjustaskyout
oatleastl
etthedoct
or
f
oracheck-up,
befor
eyougotosleep 
Me;
doest
hathav
etobet
oday
?
Hi
m;y
es.Weneedt
omakesur
e 
Me;
Siy
a,hedi
dn’
trapeme.I
’
mfi
ne 
Hi
m;pl
easebabe 
Me;
ok

Si
yast
oodupt
ofet
cht
hedoct
or,
whi
l
eIputa
gownon.

Thedoct ordidat horoughcheckupandev en

somebl oodt est.Hegav emeawhol elotof
meds, andt ol
dmet oensureItookthem.I
didn’
tbot heraskingwhattheywer efor
.Iwasn’
t
reall
yinterest
edi nal
l t
hefaff
ingthatwasgoing
onar oundme.  
Hi
m;doy
ouhav
eanyquest
ions 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;I
’
llhav
et hebloodwor
kresul
tst
oyouby
t
omor
rowafternoon 
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;bef
oreIf
orget
.Ify
ouar
eona
contr
acept
ive.I
t’
smoreli
kel
ynott
owor
k
becauseofthepil
l
sI’
vegi
venyou 
Me;
Ihav
eani
mpl
anti
n 
Him;weshouldremovei
tfort
imebei
ng.We
caninser
tanot
heroneonceyouhav
efini
shed
yourcour
se 
Me;
canwedoi
ttomor
row 
Hi
m;i
twi
l
lonl
ytake20mi
n 
Me;
fine

Il
aydown, andbasi cal
lyfellasl
eep.Iwasso
exhaustedf rom theeventsoft oday ,
andhavi
ng
mybl ooddr own.Thedoct orwast ruetohi
s
word,andwi thi
n20mi nhehadt akenoutthe
i
mpl ant,andIwasf astasleep
WhenSiy
awalkedi
nheputabl
anketov
erme,
andgoti
nnextt
ome.
Imov
edcl
oserandcuddl
edhi
m,

Hi
m;It
houghty
ouwer
easl
eep 
Me;
mhmmm 
Hi
m;wantt
otal
k 
Me;
haa
Hi
m;ok.Sl
eep

Idi
dn’targuewit
hhi
m, i
nst
eadIjustl
etmysel
f
getsurr
endertowhatwaslef
toftheni
ght
.

WhenIwokeup,itwasaft
ermi dday
.Ithought
f
orsomereasonIwouldn’
tbeabl et
osleep,or
I
’dbet
raumati
zed,butnot
hing.Iwasjustgl
ad
t
obehome. 
Igotupandwenttofr
eshenup,thenwentt
o
getmysel
fsomethi
ngtoeat.Iwasstar
ved.
WhenIgott othekitchen,
Iexpect
edtosee
Mam Mar t
ha,butinsteadSiy
awasi nt
he
ki
tchen,
withanapr onandcooking

Hi
m; Ihopey
ou’
rehungr
y.I
’
vecookedupa
st
orm 
Me;
I’
mfami
shed 
Hi
m;good.Si
tdown,
il
ldi
shupf
ory
ou 
Me;
whatdi
dyoumake 
Hi
m;but
terchi
cken,
wit
hri
ceandGr
eeksal
ad 
Me;
smel
l
samazi
ng

Siy
adishedupfort
hebot
hofus,
andwewent
tothepool
sidet
oeatt
her
e.

Me;
Ithoughty
ou’
dbeatwor
k 
Hi
m;I
’
m mor
eneededher
e 
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;don’
tthankme.

Wehadbr unchtal
kingaboutrandom t
hings.I
coul
dtellSi
yahadsomanyt hi
ngstosayabout
whathappened,buthewasjustwaiti
ngf orme
tobr
ingitup

Me;
Siy
aI’
mfi
ne 
Hi
m;Idi
dn’
tsayany
thi
ng 
Me;
itswr
it
tent
oal
lov
ery
ourf
ace 
Hi
m;Baby
,I’
m sosor
ry 
Me;
forwhatSi
ya?Youdi
dn’
tdoany
thi
ng.
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe,
weneedt
ober
eal
i
sti
c
Me;
huh
Hi
m;i
fitwasn’
tforme,
youwoul
dn’
tbei
nthi
s
mess.Ifitwasn’tformey ouwoul dn’thav e
beenshot .I
fitwasn’tformey ouwoul dn’
thave
cri
edsoof t
enforthepasty ear.I
t’
sal lme.From
themomentIent eredyourli
fe,it
’sbeenone
thi
ngaftertheother ,
andIjustdon’ tknowhow
toli
vewitht hat
.Idon’tevenunder standwhy
youevenl oveme.I ’
ml i
keaf ucki
ngcur se

Ididn’
tunderstandwhereSiy
awascomi ng
fr
om.Il ovehim andIdon’
tcareabout
everyt
hingelse.Whydoesn’
thegetthat?I
hatedthathesawal lt
hebad,butneversawt
he
good

Me;Siy
a.Itdoesn’
tmatt
er.Ilov
eyou.Nowev
en
morebecauseofallt
hethingswe’
vegone
t
hrough 
Hi
m;Baby
 
Me;
noSi
ya.Don’
ttr
ymakewhatwehav
eseem
bad.I
t’
snot
Hi
m;butRi
fi
loei
tisi
fyoukeepget
ti
nghur
t 
Me;
baby
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Ilov
eyou

Looki
ngatSiyainthi
sli
ghtscaredme.Iwasso
usedtohim bei
ngtheHero,wit
hthebig
musclesandtheboss,butnowallIcoul
dsee
wasfear.Doubtandevensadness

Istoodup,
andtookt
heplatest
otheki
tchen,
thencamebackandsatwit
hhim

Me;
comewi
thme 
Hi
m;wher
eto?
Me;
bed 
Hi
m;babyt
hisi
sn’
taboutsex 
Me;
Idi
dn’
tsayi
twas 
Hi
m;hav
eyout
akeny
ou’
remeds 
Me;
yes.Nowcome

Siy
ar el
uct
antl
ystoodupandwenttoour
bedroom.Iknowsexdoesn’
tfi
xthi
ngs,butI
wantedtofeell
ikewewerest
il
lone.

Whenwegottothebedroom,Si
yaandImade
l
ovel
ikei
twasthelastdayonear
th.
 
Iwantedt of
eell
ikewedi dbef or
ey est
erday
happenedIwantedt ofeelthatwewer estil
la
unit
,butIcouldtel
lthatSiy
awasn’ thimself
.
Everykisswastender.Everystokeslowuntil
theveryend.
[
05/
13,
20:
59]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
110

Il
ayinbedwi
thSiy
afeel
i
ngsad.Inev
erfel
tsad
af
terwemakelov
e.Butt
odaywasdif
fer
ent.

TodaySiy
awasdi ff
er ent
.Todaywassad.
TodaySiy
awasdi stant.Hewaspull
ingmei n
di
ffer
entdir
ecti
ons.Hewasl ovi
ngme, butwas
al
soawor ldaway.Ilookedupandsawhi seyes
weretear
y.

Hedidntev
enhav et
otel
lmewhathewas
t
hinki
ng.Ij
ustknewit

Isatup,andsatonhi
slapi
nmyf
avor
it
e
posit
ion

Me;
Siy
awhat
’sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
Siy
adon’
t 
Hi
m;baby
,Ihav
eto 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
sowhyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his 
Hi
m;becausei
tsf
ory
ourowngood 
Me;haaSiya.No.Notaf
terev
ery
thi
ngwe’
ve
beent
hrough 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe
Me;
(sni
ff
)noSi
ya.Pl
ease.Don’
tdot
his 
Hi
m;Ihav
etoRi
fi
loe.I
t’
sfory
ourownsake 
Me;
SIYANO

Istar
tedshaki
ng.WhywasSi
yadoi
ngthi
s?We
hadgonethroughsomuchandnowhewas
giv
inguponus.
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
ther
ear
ethi
ngsy
oudon’
tknow 
Me;
thi
ngsl
i
ke
Him;Fernandezescaped.Whichmeansthiswar
hasjuststar
ted.Heknowsmyi dent
it
y,andI’
m
pret
tysureheplansonexposingme.Ican’t.
Actual
lyIwon’thaveyoucaughti
nthemi ddl
e 
Me;
Si
Him; noRi
fi
loe.Thi
ngsaren’
tgoi
ngtobethe
same.Thesepeoplearen’
twhoy outhi
nkt
hey
are.Theywil
lhuntme,andtheywil
lknowabout
you.WhichmeansIhav etol
etyougo 
Me;
Siy
ayoucan’
t 
Hi
m;babypl
ease.Ihav
etodot
hisf
ory
ou.
 
Me;
Iwon’
tlety
oudot
hisSi
ya 
Hi
m;IHav
eto 
Me;
noy
oudon'
t
Si
yamovedmeofhi
slap,
andgotupt
oget
dr
essed.

Me;
Siy
apl
ease.
 
Hi
m;Ineedt
ogett
otheof
fi
ce 
Me;
butwe'
rei
nthemi
ddl
eofaconv
ersat
ion 
Hi
m;baby
,Icantsither
e,becauseiknowy
ou
ar
egoi
ngtoconvincemeot her
wise.
Me;
youcantbeser
ious 
Hi
m;babyi
hav
eto

Si
yaturnedar
oundandhehadtear
srunning
downhischeeks.Hewi
pedthem,t
hentookhis
j
acketandkeys.

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
I
Hedidn’
tfini
shhi
ssentence.I
nst
eadheki
ssed
myforeheadandlef
t.

*
***
***
***
**SI
YA*
***
***
***

Walkingoutont hewomanIl ovef eltrut

hless.I
l
ovedRi fi
l
oesomuch.Shewasmyl if
e.Butme
bei
ngwi thheronlyboughthebadl uck,andnow
wit
hFer nandezescaping.Ihadtoensur e
nothi
ngwoul dhappent oher,andt heonlywayI
coulddot hatwasbyletti
nghergo, andmaki ng
sureshehadt opnotchsecurity.

Il
efthome,andwentdirectl
ytotheoff
ice.The
housewasempt ybuttherewassecuri
ty
every
where.Ther
eisnowher eel
seonear ththat
Rif
il
oecouldbesafe,t
hanathome.  
Iar
riv
edattheoff
ice,
andsawt hel
ookon
Bul
letsf
ace,andj
ustknewthatheknew.
Me;
notnow 
Hi
m;dude 
Me;
noBul
l
et
Hi
m; doyouhav
eanyi
deawhatshei
sgoi
ng
t
hrough 
Me;
Ihadt
o 
Hi
m;buty
oul
oveher
 
Me;
exact
lywhyIhav
etomakesur
eshe’
ssaf
e. 
Hi
m cut
 
Me;butnot
hing.Shi
tisabouttogetreal
,andI
can’
tgothr
oughwhatIj ustwentt
hrough
Hi
m;But
 
Me; Doyoureal
i
ze,thatpeopl eseeherasmy
weakness.Andit
’strue.SinceImetRi f
il
oe,I
havebecomesof t
.Ithinktwicebef or
epul l
inga
tr
igger
.Iknowtherules,butI’vebrokenev ery
si
ngleoneofthem.Ican’ tgoonl i
ket hat.
Especi
all
ynowwi
thawarcomi
ng.
 
Hi
m;soy
ouar
edi
vor
cingher
 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;shi
t 
Me;youbestkeepBoniatadistance.Thi
ngs
aregoi
ngtoblow,andthelastt
hingy ouwanti
s
tohaveheri
nthefir
ingli
ne.

IleftBull
et,andwenttomyof fi
ce.IknowwhatI
wasdoi ngwasgoi ngtoeventuall
yripmeto
shreds,butIhadt odoit
,soIcouldwakeupi n
themor ning,andknowthatRifi
loewassafe.Or
betteryetthatshewouldfi
ndhappi ness
withouthav i
ngtolookoverhershoulder

*
***
**Ri
fi
loe*
***
*

Isatont
hebedt
ryi
ngt
ofi
gur
eoutwhathad
j
usthappened.HadSiyahonest
lyjustbrokenup
withme?Butthenagainhecouldn’
tbreakup
withmebecausewear emarri
ed.Sowashe
askingmeadivorce?

IwantedtocrybutIrefused.Thi
swasn’tSiy
a.
Hewaspr obabl
yjustwor ri
edaboutwhat
happened,andhefel
tgui l
tyandnowhet hought
bylet
ti
ngmegoal lthingswouldbeok.ButI ’
d
bedamnedi fIl
ethim dot hi
s.

Igotup,r
edidthebed,andwentt oshower.
WhenIwasdone, Igotdressed,andwantedto
tr
yandphoneHl okes.Hopeful
lyhewouldbe
ablet
ospeakt ohisfr
iend,
becauseitwasclear
hehadlosthisdamnmi nd

Aft
erspeaki
ngtoHlokes,
Iwant
edtomaybego
tot
heoffi
ce.Ift
her
ewasst i
l
lanof
fi
cet
ogot o.
Theprobl
em wasIhadt
ospeakt
oSi
ya,
andI
wantsurei
fhewantedt
ospeakt
ome.

Ididn’
treall
yhavemuchofachoi
ce,soIdi
aled
hisoff
ice.Ididn’
twantt
otr
yhi
scell
phonein
casehedi dn’
tanswer

Hi
m;Ndhl
ovu 
Me;
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)it
syou’
reWI
FE 
Hi
m;hi
 
Me;
weneedt
otal
k 
Hi
m; babypleasedon’
tmaket
hishar
dert
hani
t
al
readyis 
Me;Idon’
tknowwhatyou’
ret
alki
ngabout
.I
wasrefer
ri
ngtot
heoff
ice 
Hi
m; Rif
il
oe.Don’
tdot
hat
.youknowwhatI
’
m
r
efer
ringto 
Me;
oht
hat
.Im notgoi
ngt
otakey
ouser
iousl
y
ont
hatt
opi
c
Hi
m;babyIr
eal
l
yneedy
out
o 
Me;
noSi
ya.Iwont
Hi
m;But
 
Me;li
stenhere.Andl
ist
encareful
l
y.YOU
pr
omi sedtostandwit
hmef orbett
erandf
or
worse.Iexpectyout
ostickt
othosevows.Just
asIstucktothem 
Hi
m;(
sigh)Rif
il
oe,
I’
m notgoi
ngt
ochangemy
mi
ndaboutthi
s 
Me;
we’
l
lsee 
Hi
m;y
ouar
est
ubbor
nasf
uck 
Me;
Iknow.Andsoar
eyou 
Hi
m;baby
,Ihav
etogo 
Me;
makesur
eyou’
rehomef
ordi
nner
 
Hi
m;i
m notsur
eIcan 
Me;
finei
l
lbr
ingdi
nnert
oyou 
Hi
m;y
oucantl
eav
ethehouse 
Me;
sohowam Isupposedt
owor
k 
Hi
m;f
ornowNdhl
ovuCor
piscl
osed.
 
Me;
asperwho’
sor
der
s 
Hi
m;mi
ne 
Me;andyoudi
dn’
tthi
nky
oushoul
drunt
his
pastme 
Hi
m;t
her
ewasnot
ime 
Me;
mxm

Iputthephonedown, anddecidedtoj ustl

et
Siyabe.Hewasobv iouslyt
ryi
ngt opissmeof f
andIdidn’
twanttogi vehimthesatisfacti
on.I
honestl
ydidn’
tunderstandhim atti
me.How
couldhemakel ov
et omet hewayhedi d,and
thentel
lmei t
’sover
?Nxat hismanwas
honestl
ycrazy
Istayedathomef ortherestoftheday.Boni
camet ov i
sit
,andsheboughtmet onsof
chocolateandwine.Wecoul dn’
treall
ytal
k,and
Gossip,becausehersecurit
ydetail
swas
l
iteral
lydownherthroat.IguessHlokeswanted
tomakesur eshewasok.

Sheonlyl
eftwhenSiyaar
ri
ved.Wehadbot
h
missedeachother
,andwemadeplanstomeet
thefol
l
owingday

Bonilef
t,andIwenttoSiya,
Iknowhewas
probabl
yt i
red.Butwehadtotal
kaboutt
hisso
call
edbreakupofhis

If
oundSi y
aint
hel
ounge,
knocki
ngbacksome
whiskey

Me;
Idi
dn’
tthi
nky
ou’
dbehomet
hisear
ly 
Hi
m;y
oul
eftmenochoi
ce 
Me;
sincewhendoy
oul
i
stent
oany
thi
ngIsay
Hi
m;Si
tWeneedt
otal
k

Il
ookedatSi
yaandnot
icedhowser
ioushe
seemed

Hi
m;Ir
eal
i
se,
whatIsai
dear
li
erwasabi
tvague,
Me;
noi
twascl
ear
.Ij
ustr
efuset
obel
i
evei
t 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
Iwasser
ious 
Me;
Idon’
tcar
e 
Him;I
m goi
ngawayforacoupleofweeks.I
needt
omakeall
iances,
befor
et hi
ngsgetbad
Me;
don’
t 
Him;Ineedtomakesur
eyouandIhav
ean
under
standi
ngbefor
eIgo 
Me;
whatunder
standi
ng 
Hi
m;Ineedy
out
osi
gnt
hesebef
oreIgo 
Me;
whatar
ethese

It
ooktheenvel
opefr
om hi
m,andopenedi
t.I
swearmyheartdr
opped

Me;
div
orcepaper
s?
Hi
m;baby
Me;
Iwon’
tsi
gnt
hem 
Hi
m;youhav
eto.Ineedt
hesemadepubl
i
c
r
ecor
dasap 
Me;
Siy
adon’
tdot
his 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
thiswil
lensur
ethatyouarenot
l
inkedt
ome.t hatwaytheyhavenoexcuseto
comeaftery
ouagain
Me;Si
ya,Please.I
’
m sur
ewecanf
indaway
ar
oundthis 
Hi
m;wecan’tRif
il
oe.I
’v
et houghtofever
y
si
ngl
easpectandthi
sistheonlyway  
Me;
Soy
ou’
rehonest
lydoi
ngt
his?
Hi
m; Ihav
etobaby
.Pl
easet
ryt
ounder
stand
t
hat 
Me;UNDERSTANDwhat ?Huh,
thatyouaretoo
muchofacowardtotryandmakethingswork
despi
tet
heci
rcumstances 
Him; No.ThatIl
ovey
out
oomucht
olety
ou
hurtagain 
Me;
noway
s.I
m notdoi
ngt
his

Istoodupandstart
edpaci ngtheroom.Idon’
t
thi
nkthatthi
shadhitme, unti
lthi
spresent
moment .Siy
awasleavingme.Heal readyhad
thepapersdrawnup. 
Ididn’
twanttocry,
butasal
waysthet
ear
sjust
start
edfl
owing.Wasthi
sreal
lyt
heendofus?I
s
thishowital
lends.
Me;
howl
onghav
eyoubeent
hinki
ngaboutt
his 
Hi
m;j
ustsi
ncey
est
erday
 
Me;
Iwontgot
hroughwi
thi
t 
Hi
m;y
ouhav
eto 
Me;
NoIdon’
t.Icancont
estt
hat
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
NoSi
ya.NoI
m notl
ett
ingy
oudot
his
Hi
m;I
tsf
ort
hebest
.Babypl
ease 
Me;
no 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
Ivelefty
ouwithevery
thi
ng.You
ownmyent i
reli
fe.Ever
yhouse,Car,
Jets.Al
lof
i
tit
sally
ours 
Me; whatgoodi smoneySiya.Youthi
nkIcare
aboutallthosethi
ngs?I
’venever,
notonce
caredorwant edyourwealt
h.AllI
’
veeverasked
forwasy ou? 
Hi
m; andnowbaby
,Ican’
tgiv
ey out
hat.Sot
he
l
eastIcandoi
sgiv
ey ouever
ythi
ngel
se 
Me;
Idon’
twanti
t 
Hi
m;y
oudon’
thav
eachoi
ce 
Me;
Ican’
tbel
i
evey
ou’
redoi
ngt
his 
Hi
m;(
sigh)I
’
m sor
rybaby
.Ir
eal
l
yam

IlookedatSiy
a,andIsawthathewasdr eadi
ng
thisasmuchasIwas.Hi stear
sref
lect
edmi ne.
Thepainofthesacri
fi
cethathewasmaki ng
waswr it
tenal
loverhi
sface. 
Iwantedsobadlytohearhi m saythatther
e
wasanot herway,
butthel ookinhiseyestold
met hatther
ewasnot hingIcoulddot ochange
thi
s.SiyaandIwereof f
ici
all
yov er
,andnothingI
sai
dordi dwouldeverchanget hat.
[
05/
13,
21:
00]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
111

Icoul
dhearSiyatal
ki
ng,butthewor dscoming
outofhismouthseemedforeign.Inever
,not
oncethoughthewouldbetheoneaski ngme
foradivor
ceespeci
all
yaft
erthewhol eJessi
ca
thi
ng,andyether
ehewas.

Isatdown,andlookedatthedocumenti
nfr
ont
ofme.Ireadthroughthem andasSi
yahadsaid,
hehadputev er
ythi
nginmyname.AllIhadto
dowassignandi twasover.

Siya,gavemeapen,andIlookedathi
m,tosee
i
fIcoul dseeat
raceofhesit
ancefr
om hi
m,but
therewasnone.
 
It
ookt
hepaper
sandIr
ippedt
hem t
oshr
eds.
Si
yast
oodupannoy
ed.
Hi
m:whyt
hehel
ldi
dyoudot
hat
Me:
becauseIdon'
tagr
eet
othet
erms 
Hi
m: butRi
fi
loeI
'
vegi
veny
ouev
ery
thi
ng.What
morecanIdo
Me:
Idon'
twanty
ourmoney
 
Hi
m:i
t'
snotupt
oyou 
Me:
sur
eashel
li
s 
Hi
m:Gody
ouar
esoDamnst
ubbor
n 
Ir
oll
edmyey
esathi
m
Hi
m: Ri
fi
loe,
Ineedt
hisi
ssue,
set
tl
edbef
oreI
l
eave 
Me:
wel
l
,that
'snotmypr
obl
em nowi
sit
?
Hi
m:y
out
hinkt
hisi
saj
okedon'
tyou?
Me: aj
oke?Si yayoutol
dmey ouwantadi vor
ce
thi
smor ning,andnow6hoursl at
eryou'
re
wavingpaper sinf
rontofme.Youdon'teven
havethedecencyt ogiv
emet imetoabsorbthi
s
wholething,andthenyoutel
lmeIt hi
nkthi
sisa
j
oke.
 
Him: baby,
I'
m sor
ry.Iknowthi
si sdi
ffi
cul
t,but
I'
mj ustpr
essedforti
me.Ineedt ogetoutthe
countryASAP.Ineedtostartt
racki
ng
Fernandez.Mebeinghereisonlygiv
inghim
mor eti
me
Me;Howisitt
hatal
lyoucareabouti
swork?
Si
yayouareendi
ngourmar r
iage,
andyoukeep
pr
eachi
ngtomeaboutwor k 
Him;Ri
fi
loeIneedy
out
odot
his.Notf
orme,
butf
orus
Me:
justl
i
ket
hat
 
Him:Rif
il
oe,
Idon’tknowwhatel setosay.I
'
ve
satdownandlookedatalltheopti
ons,butt
he
besti
sformetolety ougo.Ihavetodothat,so
thaty
ouhaveashotatanor malli
fe
Me:normal
?HowcanIev erbenor
mal
,af
ter
ev
eryt
hingt
hat
'shappened
Hi
m:y
ou'
regoi
ngt
ohav
etot
ry
Icouldseet hathonestl
ynothingIsaidordid
wouldchangeSi ya’smind.Hewant edadi vor
ce,
andIwoul dhav etogivehi
m one.Ther ewasno
usetryi
ngany mor e.Thi
swasi t.Theendof
ever
ything.Iwipedawaymyt ears,andlooked
athim.

Me:
cal
lyourl
awy
er,
andgethi
mtocomeher
e 
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
youwantadi
vor
cedon'
tyou?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
thendowhatI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou
Si
yat
ookouthi
sphone,
anddi
all
edJohn.
 
Iwenttoourbedr oom,anddial
l
edSizwe.Ial
so
neededalawy erandIfel
tli
keSizwewasmy
bestopt
ion,especial
lywit
hthelackoft
ime
Hi
m:Fi
fi
 
Me;
heydude
Hi
m:y
ousounddown,
what
'
sup
Me;
Ineedal
awy
er 
Hi
m:what
’sgoi
ngon
Me:
cany
oucomet
othehouse 
Hi
m:I
'
m onmyway
 
Me:
thanky
ou

Afterspeakingt
oSizwe,Idecidedtostar
t
packingsomeofmyst uff
.Ididn'
tplanon
stayi
ngher eanymore.Thi
swassupposedt obe
ourmar it
alhome,andnowsi ncethatwasn'
tthe
case,thenitwasti
meIwentbackt omy
townhouse

Ipackedafewt hi
ngsthatIneeded,exceptf
or
ourweddingalbum,orpict
ureofmeandSi y
a.I
di
dn'twantevenat r
aceofhim aroundmy
house.

AsIfi
nishedpacki
ng,
Siyacamedowntol
etme
knowthatJohnandSizwehadar
ri
ved.

Helookedatmybags,
andIsawhi
m shaki
ng
hi
sheadandwalkoutagai
n

ItookadeepbreathandaskedGodt ohelpme
getthr
oughthi
swi t
houtcry
ing.Myey eswere
al
readyswol
lenfrom t
hecrying,t
helastt
hingI
neededwastoembar rassmy sel
fanyfur
ther
.

WhenIgotdownst
air
sSi
zweandJohnhad
bot
hsetup.
 
Igr
eet
edbothofthem,andsatnextt
oSi
zwe,
whi
leSi
yasatnexttoJohn.
Me: t
hanky oubothf
orcoming,atsuchshort
noti
ce..
.(snif
f)ahmm t
hereasonyou'reboth
hereisbecauseweneedyout odraftdiv
orce
papersforus

Si
zwel
ookedatmeast
oni
shed

Itookanot
herdeepbreathandasi
pofwat
ers
tostopMefrom cr
ying 
Me: Johnasy ouar eaware,sinceyouhad
alr
eadydr af t
eddocsf orme, butItorethoseup.
Ididn'tagreetot heter
ms.I'
m notgoi ngt obe
takingevery t
hingf r
om Si
ya.He' sworkedhard
foreverythinghehas, andIdon' tt
hinkitwoul
d
bef ai
rformet ot akei
tal
l 
Si
yawant
edt
opr
otest
,butIshuthi
m down 
Me;Siya,andIhav
en'tbeenmarri
edforev
ena
year
.Itwouldbeself
ishofmet oagr
eetothe
t
ermst hathehadprevi
ouslyl
aidout
 
John:man,Itr
iedt
alki
ngt
oMrNdhl
ovu,
buthe
wouldn'
theari
t
Me:t
hat'
swhyIfi
guredi
twoul
dbebestf
ort
he
f
ourofustodi
scussthi
s 
Si
ya:
Idon'
tseewhatneedst
obedi
scussed.
 
Me: hearmeout.It
hinkthebestt
hingwoul dbe
foryoutokeepthemoneyandasset syouhad
beforeusgett
ingmarri
ed,andIkeepwhat everI
hadpr i
ort
ous.Thatwaywebot hdon’tlose
anythi
ng
Si
ya:
nothappeni
ng 
Me:
Siy
a
Hi
m noRi
fi
loe,
Iwon'
thav
eit

Il
ookedatSiya,andIcoul
dn’
tunder
standwhat
hewasplayingat.Whatmaninhisr
ightmind
wouldwanthissoontobeEx-wif
e,t
okeep
every
thi
ngthathehas?Itj
ustwasn’
tmaking
sense
Si
zwe:
Imi
ghthav
easuggest
ion 
Weal
ll
ookedathi
m
Sizwe:si
nceyou'
remarr
iedi
nCOP,
whynot
shareever
ythi
ng50/50.
 
Me:butIdon'
twantt
hemoney
.Orhousesor
car
s.Noneofit 
Sizwe:Ri
fi
loe,asyourl
awyer
,Ibel
i
evet
hisi
s
thebestopti
on,andyouknowit
Me:
thi
swhol
ethi
ngi
sjustbul
l
 
Si
ya:
Ithi
nkSi
zwehasapoi
nt 
Me:
Idon'
t 
Siy
a:Rif
il
oe,please.Forgoodnesssakesj
ustt
ry
tobereasonable 
John:
MrsNdhl
ovuIt
hinki
t'
sfort
hebest
 
ME:
Idon'
t
Si
ya:
Rif
il
oe,
itsei
thery
out
akehal
fory
out
ake
ev
eryt
hing.Youdon'
thav
eachoi
cei
nthe
matt
er
Me:li
keIdon’
thaveachoi
ceint
hisdi
vorce?
WhenhaveIeverhadachoi
cewhenitcomet o
you?
 
Him;thati
sexactl
ywhythi
sisf
orthebest
.The
soonerI’
m nott
iedtoy
outhebett
erfor
ever
yone

Siy
a’swords,f
eltl
i
keaswordbei
ngputt
hrough
me.hewassocal m,buty
oucoul
dseehewas
hurt
ingatthesameti
me

Il
ookedatSi
zwe

Me:
cany
oudr
aftt
hepaper
's
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
thanky
ou 
Hi
m:whendoy
ouneedt
hem by
Il
ookedatSi
yaf
orananswer
 
Hi
m:Ineedt
hem t
oni
ghtst
il
l 
SizweandJohnbot hlookedatusalarmed.Si
ya
explainedthatheneededt obeoutofSAasap,
andt heref
orewantedt hi
ssort
edbyt he
mor ning

Idishedupf orSizwe,andJohn.Thenwentt
o
thebedroom.Ineededabi tofspacefr
om
everyone.Talkingaboutt
hedi v
orcehadmade
everythi
ngver yreal
,andIj
ustneededsome
ti
met oabsor b.

Isatonthebed, wi
thtear
sst r
eamingdownmy
face.It
houghtofallt
hethingsthatSi
yaandI
hadgonethrough,andnowwewer eendingit
.
Andnomat terhowmuchIl ov
edhim,itwasn'
t
enoughanymor e.
Icriedsil
entlyforhours.Isobadlywant edto
sl
eep, butsleephaddepr i
vedme.I nsteadithad
l
ef tmet ofeel,
andr ightnowhonest lyIjust
didn’twanttofeel anythi
ng.Icravedfeel i
ng
numb, justsothatIcoul datleastbreathe

Siy
awalkedi
nasIwaslayi
ngont hebed.He
l
ookedatme,andswall
owed.Iknewhewanted
tocomf
ortme,buthedi
dn’
t. 
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe,
thepaper
sar
eready
 
Me:
I’
ll
bet
her
einasec
Hi
m;babyI

Iwantedhimtof i
nishhi
ssentence.InfactI
neededhimtot el
lmehadcomeupwi th
anotherpl
an,buthedidn’
t.I
nstead,hewalked
backdownstair
sandl ef
tmewonder i
ngwhathe
wantedtosay 
Iwenttot
hebat
hroom t
owashmyf ace,
and
fr
eshenupabi
t,t
henwentdownst
airs

IsatdownnexttoSizweandhegavemethe
papers.Ir
eadt
hroughthem andt
henl
ooked
up. 
Me:
whydoIhav
etost
ayher
e 
Si
zwe:
becauseoft
hesecur
it
yfeat
ures 
Me:
Iwashopingt
omov
ebacki
ntomy
t
ownhouse 
Si
ya;
that
’snotopt
ional
 
Me:butSi
yathisi
sn'
tfair
.Yout
ell
,meyouwant
adiv
orce,
andnowy ouexpectmetostayhere
i
nyourhouse?Howam Isupposedtomov eon,
whenyouwill
bewatchingmyeverymove 
Him;Rifi
l
oe,thi
shousehasthebestsecuri
ty
feat
uresintheworl
d.Theguardwil
lonlybe
hereincaseyouneedthem,butIswearIwon’t
i
nterf
erewithyourl
i
fe 
Me;
whataboutmyt
ownhouse 
Hi
m;y
oucankeepi
t.I
t’
sst
il
lyour
s 
Me;
sowher
ewi
l
lyoust
ayi
fyouar
einJHB
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
opur
chaseanewhouse 
Ireadthroughtherestofthedocument ,
and
decidedtoletgo.Therewasnousef i
ghti
ng
withSiya.Hehadmadei tcl
earthatIdi
dn’thav
e
achoiceinmostoft henegot i
ati
ons,soIwant
goingtoargue.Iwast ootir
edany way
It
ookapen,
andt
ookadeepbr
eat
h. 
Me:
canIasky
ouguy
stogi
vemeandSi
yaa
moment
Si
zwe,andJohnwenttothel
ounge,whil
eI
st
ayedinthedini
ngr
oom wit
hSiya.Iwant
edt
o
makesureSiyawassur
eaboutthis.
 
Me:
sot
hisi
sitt
hen 
Hi
m: Ri
fi
loe.Iwi
shther
ewasanotherway.I
f
t
herewasIwouldtakeit
.Butunf
ort
unat
ely
t
her
eisn'
t
Me:Siyaareyousur
eaboutt
his?Li
kehonest
ly
you'
regiv
inguponus? 
Isawahi ntofhesi
tat
ioni
nSiya’
seyes,
buthe
quickl
yregai
nedhishardpost
ure 
Hi
m:i
t'
stheonl
yway

Myheartbrokef
orthemill
iont
ht i
metoday.Thi
s
wasit
.Therewasnomor ewaitingorargui
ng.
Thi
swast heend,andIhadtoacceptit
Itookt
hepen,andini
ti
all
edoneachpage.I
pausedabitwhenIgottothel
astpage.But
thenevent
ual
lysi
gned.

Igavethepaper
stoSiya,Hehadtear
s
str
eamingdownhisface.Iknewi
twasonlya
matterofminut
est
il
lIbrokedown,soist
ood
upandsaidgoodbyetoSizweandJohn.
Icoul
dseeSi
zwewant
edt
ost
ay,
butIt
oldhi
mI
wasfi
ne.

Ilef
tSizwe,JohnandSiy a,i
nt hedini
ngroom,
tofi
nishup.Itwasoffi
ciall
yov er.Iwasno
l
ongerMr sNdhlovu.Iwasnowbackt obei
ng
Mokoena.Andt hatwasabi tterasspil
lto
swall
ow.

Iwentbacktoour
,orshoul
dIsaymybedr oom,
anddroppeddownonthefloor
.Iwantedso
badl
ytowakeupfrom thi
snight
mare.Butthi
s
ti
me,ther
ewasnoonet owakemeup.

Siy
aknockedonthedoor,
butItoldhi
mt oleave.
Idi
dn’twantt
obewi t
hhi
m, ortohavehim
comfortme.Iwant
edhim outofmylif
e.Every
tr
aceofhim,Iwant
edgone.Hehadl i
ter
all
ytore
myhear
tapar
t,andnoamountofapol
ogi
zi
ng
wasgoi
ngtochangethat

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
please.Justl
etmei
n 
Me;
goawaySi
ya 
Him;baby,pl
ease.I
’
m beggi
ngy
ou.Justl
etme
hol
dy ou 
Me; gotohel
lyouf
ucki
ngbeast.If
ucki
nghat
e
you.(Sni
ff
)Howcouldyoudothist
ome?
Hi
m;ifyoudon’
topen,
I’
m goi
ngt
ohav
eto
br
eakthedoordown 
Me;
fucky
ou

Ithoughtmay beSi
yawasexaggerat
ing,buthe
wasn’t,becauset
henextt
hingIhear
dahuge
bangont hedoor.Hewashonestl
ytryi
ngt o
breakthedoordown.
Igotup,andwenttoopenthedoorf
orhi
m.He
walkedin,andIwentandl
ayonthebed,
and
coveredmy sel
fwi
thduvet

Siy
a,cameandhesatnexttome.Idon’
tknow
whathethinkshe’
sdoi
ng.Hehadgott
enwhat
hewantedandnowhewant edtopl
aytheangel
.
Fuckhim andhisf
ucki
ngbull
shi
t

Hi
m;BabyI
’
m sor
ry 
Me;
**Si
l
ence*
* 
Him;Rifil
oe,Iknowy ou’rehurt
ing,andt hefact
thatI
’mt hecauseofy ourtear
sonceagai n
demolishesme, butbabyi tdoesn’
tmeanIdon’ t
l
ov eyou.Ialwayswill.Nomat terwhati s
happeningi nmycrazywor l
d,t
helov eIhav efor
youisn’tbasedonapi eceofpaper.Ijustwi sh
thatmay beinanotherl i
fe,
orinafewy ears,you
andIwi ll
findourwaybackt ooneanot her.But
ri
ghtnowIcoul dneverbet hemant hatyou
need,anditwouldbeselfishofmet okeepy ou
onal eash,
whenIknowt hatI’
m notgoingtobe
abletobethehusbandt hatyouneed.Iam
abouttogoont hebiggestmi ssi
onofmyl if
e.
Thingsaregoingtogetbad, butatl
eastiknow
thatyouwillbesaf
e.

IknowSi yawast r
yingt omakemebet t
er,but
nothinghesaidwashel pful.I
nst eadhewasj ust
fueli
ngmyanger .Afterev erythingthatIhad
givenup,herehewast ell
ingmeshi tabout
may beinthefutur
ebl ahbl ah.I fonlyhehadl eft
hisJobafterhisshoot i
ng, wewoul dn’tbehere.
Ifonlyhehadmadet hesacr i
ficesheneededt o
makeear l
ier
,wewoul dn’tbeher e.Butinstead
hewassel fi
sh.Hewant edbestofbot hwor l
ds
andnowIwast heonewhohadt opayt hepri
ce.
[
05/
13,
21:
01]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
112

*
***
***SI
YA*
***
***
*

Thel
ookonRif
il
oe’sface,wil
lforeverhauntme.
Shel
ookedsoheart
broken,andtot hinkthatI
wast
heonewhomadeherf eel t
hisway ,made
mehatemysel
fevenmor e.

IknowIwasmaki ngt her ightdeci

sion,buti
t
didn’tmakeitanyeasi eronme.Ri fi
loe,has
sacrifi
cedherentir
el i
fef orme.IwishIhadl ef
t
theforce,whensheaskedmet o.BecauseifI
had, wewouldn’tbeint hismess.Sonowher eI
am si t
ti
ngnexttothewomanIl ove,andIcan’t
comf orther
,ortellherthatt hi
ngswi l
lbeokay,
allbecauseofmydeci sions.

Ij
ustwi
shIcoul
dtel
lherev
ery
thi
ng,
butIcan’
t
becauseoft
hisf
ucki
ngFer
nandez
.

Me;
Rif
il
oe,
justl
etmehol
dyou.Pl
ease 
Her
;st
ayt
hef
uckawayf
rom me 
Me;
baby
,i

Ri
fi
loe,
gotoutt
hecov
ersandl
ookedatme

Her
;Getout
 
Me;
babyl
etme 
Her
;Si
ya,
Iwanty
ouout
 
Me;
butRi
 
Her
;thi
sismyhousei
sn’
tit
? 
Me;
yesBut
Her
;nobut
s.Gett
hef
uckout
,andst
ayout
IknewRi f
il
oewasmadatme, butIhonestly
neverexpectedhertokickmeout .It
houghtI
wouldgettoatleastspendmyl astnightinSA
withher.I
nsteadoflet
tingmeexpl ai
n,shewent
totheclosetandstart
edpull
i
ngmycl othesout
.
Shetookoutasui t
caseandstar t
edpackingmy
stuff
.

Me;
Rif
il
oe,
wai
t.
.letme 
Her
;Idon’
twantt
ofucki
ngher
eit
.GetoutSi
ya
Me;
but
 
Her
;now

Iwant
edtoexpl
ainaf
ewt hi
ngs,
butRi
fil
oe
wasn’
thav
ingit
.Shet
hrewmyst uf
fal
lovert
he
pl
ace.

Iev
enhadt
ododgeoneoft
heshoest
hatshe
ai
medatme.

Her;
whythefuckareyoustil
lst
andingt
here?
GetoutSi
ya.Gotowhereeverthefuckyou
wanttogo.Iwantabsol
utel
ynothi
ngtodowith
you

Me;
butbaby
.Letme 
Her
;don’
tfucki
ngbabyme.Getout
.

Icoul
dseethatbyme,tryi
ngtoexplain,Iwas
onlymaki
ngt hi
ngsworse.Ri
fi
loehadsomuch
angeri
nher,Ihadnochoicebuttoletherbe.

Me;
ok,
ok,
Il
lgo 
Her
;nxa
Rifi
l
oe,stor
medoutoft hecloset
,andleftme
theretopack.Ipackedafewessenti
althings,
butthenheardglassshat
ter
ing. 
IranoutandfoundRifi
l
oei ntheloungewit
ha
golfcl
ubinherhand,breaki
ngev er
ymi r
ror
,
pi
cturegl
asstableshecouldfind.

Iknewnowt hatshehadt
ransi
ti
onedf
rom
beingsad,
absoluter
age.

Me;
Rif
il
oe,
stop 
Her
;st
ayt
hehel
lawayf
rom me

It
ri
edget
ti
ngcl
oserbutsheswungatme.

Me;
Rif
il
oe,
you’
l
lhur
tyour
sel
f.St
op
KnowingRi
fi
loe,
sheprobabl
ycoul
dn’
tev
en
hearawordIwassayi
ng. 
Shelefttheloungeandheadedf orthedi
ning
room.Ijustknewi fIdi
dn’tstophershewas
goingtobreakt hedini
ngr oom t
abl
e,and
j
udgingbyt hesizeofit,shewasgoingtohurt
hersel
f.

SoIranafterher
,andgrabbedherf
rom behi
nd,
andgrabbedthegolf
club

Me;
baby
,pl
ease.Just
 
Her
;letgoof
fme
Me;Ri
fil
oe,
Thi
sisntgoi
ngt
omakey
ouf
eel
bet
ter
 
Her
;sur
eashel
lwi
l
l.Nowl
etgo 
Me;
Rif
il
oe,
Iknowy
ou’
remad,
but
 
Her
;Idon’
tcar
e,j
ustl
etgo
Shet
riedpul
l
ingthegolfcl
ubfr
om me,
but
l
ucki
l
yIhadat i
ghtgri
poni t
 
Shetur
nedar
oundi
nst
ead,
andl
appedme
acr
ossthef
ace.
 
Look,Rif
il
oeisav er
ysmal l
girl
.Shebarley
reachesthetopofmyRi bs,butt
hatslapwas
nojoke.Ihonest
lydidadoubletake.Icouldn’
t
beli
eveitcamefrom herti
nyhand.

It
hrewthegol fsti
cktotheside,andputmy
ar
msar oundher .Shetr
iedpulli
ngback,butI
wouldn’
tlether.Iknowshewashur ti
ng,andI
j
ustwantedt otrymakeitbetter,
andtheonly
wayIknewhowwasbyhol di
ngher

*
***
***
***
***
*Ri
fi
loe*
***
***
***
***
***
Bei
ngi nSi
ya’sar
ms, wasbot
hconf usi
ng,and
i
nfuri
ati
ng.Idon’
tknowwhyhest oppedme.Al l
Iwantedwast ol
etthepai
nthatIwasf eel
ing
out.I
twasconsumi ngmyheart
.IthurtandI
j
ustwantedittostop.

Me;
Siy
aletgoofme 
Hi
m;SHHHH,
 
Me;(
snif
f)whydoy oualwayshurtme?(sni
ff
)
wasIsuchabadwi fe,t
hatyouwantedt
ohur t
mesobadly.(sni
ff
)whycouldn’ty
ouhavelet
mecomet otermswi t
hallt
his
Hi
m; baby,
itwasn’tl
i
kethatyouknowthatIst
il
l
l
oveyouRifi
loe.That
’snotsomethi
ngt
hatIcan
j
ustsignaway

Si
yahel
dmewhi le,
Icr
iedmyl
ungsout.Iwas
somadathim,butatt
hesameti
mestil
l
want
edhim.HowwasIsupposedtol
iv
e
wi
thouthi
m? 
Hepickedmeupandwalkedmetomy
bedr
oom, andpl
acedmeonthebed.
 
Heputthecover
soverme,
andt
ookof
fhi
s
shoesandj
oinedme.

Him;
wehave2hoursl
eft
.CanIj
usthol
dyout
il
l
youf
all
asl
eepf
orthel
astti
me? 
Iwantedtotel
lhi
mt ofuckoff
.Butdeci
dedto
rat
herjustl
ethi
m be.Itookof
fmyr i
ngand
gaveittohi
m

Hi
m;don’
ttakei
tof
f 
Me;
I’
m nomarr
iedt
oyou.Idon’
tseewhyIhav
e
t
okeepiton
Hi
m;Ij
ust(
sigh)keepi
tint
hesaf
e

Il
ookedathi
slef
tfi
nger
,andhest
il
lhadhi
s
r
ingon

Me;
youshoul
dtaket
hatof
f 
Hi
m;noty
e 
Me;
whynot
 
Hi
m;justl
etgoRi
fi
loe.I
’
llt
akei
tof
fwhenI
’
m
r
eady
 
Me;
fine

Itookmyringandputiti
nt hedraw.Iwastoo
l
azytowalktothesafe.Igotbackintobed,and
enjoyedt
helastcuddl
e,thatIwouldgetfr
om
Siya.
 
Idri
ftedofftosl
eepinSiya’
sarms.Hewas
pl
ayingwithmyhai r
,andIwaslist
eni
ngtohis
heart
beat.Imayhav ebeensad,andhur
t,butI
wasgl adthatheconvi
ncedmet ospendour
l
astfewhour stoget
her.
WhenIwokeupt hef
oll
owi
ngmorning,
itwas
al
ready11:00am.MyheadknewthatSi
ya
wasn’tar
ound,butmyhear
thel
douthope. 
Iwasn’ treall
yint hemoodtogetoutofbed,soI
tookashower ,andchangedi
ntoanotherpai
rof
pyjamas, andgotbacki ntobed.Iwantedto
wallowi nsel f
-pit
yanddidn’
tcareabout
any t
hingel se.

Isl
eptf
orafewmorehours,butwast
hen
wokenupbysomeoneknockingonmydoor
.

Iopenedthedoor
,andfoundmam Mart
ha
standi
ngontheothersi
dewit
hfoodonatr
ay

Her
;it
’saf
ter1,
youshoul
deat
Me;
Not
hanky
ouma,
I’
m notr
eal
l
yint
hemood
f
orf
ood
Her
;youneedt
okeepupy
ourst
rengt
h 
Me;
Thanksma.

Idi
dn’
treal
l
yneedorwantfood.ButIal
sodi
dn’
t
wantt
oseem ungr
atef
ul.SoIt
ookthefood.
 
Ihear
dthedoor
bel
lri
ng,
andmam Mar t
hat
old
menottoworry
.Shewouldansweri
t

Isatonthebed,
andt r
iedeat
ingmyfood.I
pickedt
hroughi
t,t
il
lIhear
danotherknockon
thedoor.
 
Iwentt
oopen,
andi
twasmam Mar
thaagai
n

Her
;sor
ryt
odi
stur
b,butBoni
hasar
ri
ved 
Me;
shi
t,It
otal
l
yfor
gotabouther
 
Her
;doy
ouwantmet
osendheraway
Me;
no.ahmm,
I’
ll
bedowni
nami
nut
e

Iwenttothecl
osett
ochangeintol
eggi
ngsand
aT-shi
rt
,andnoti
cethatmostofSi
ya’
sstuf
f
wasgone.
It
ookadeepbr
eathi
nandout,thenputonmy
sl
i
pper
sandwalkeddownst
air
s.

Asalway
sBonihadabi
gsmi
l
eonherf
ace.I
rol
l
edmyeyesather

Her
;soy
ouf
orgotaboutme 
Me;
sor
ryman,
Thi
ngshav
ebeenabi
trough 
Her
;Iknow.Whi
chisexact
lywhyIboughty
ou
morei
ce-cr
eam,andsomechickf
li
cks 
Me;
(chuckl
es)
 
Her
;comesi
t,andt
ell
mehowy
ou’
rer
eal
l
y
doi
ng
Isatnexttoher
,andtol
dherevery
thi
ngt
hat
happened.Bonij
usthuggedme,andl
etmecry

Her
;It
sgoi
ngtobeokRifi
l
oe.I
nti
meyouwil
l
moveonwithl
if
e,andmaybey
ouguy
swil
lbe
abl
etopat
chthi
ngsup 
Me; Idon’
tknowBoni.I
tjustseemsl
ikeSi
ya
andIar ecur
sed.Not
hingwedoi sev
er
successful
.
Her;norel
ati
onshipisperfectRi
fi
loe.Youjust
havetoworkatit.LookatmeandHl okes.He
j
usttoldmet heotherdaythathi
soneni ght
standi
shav i
nghisbaby  
Me;
aski
esmyf
ri
end 
Her
;don’
tbe.Ihaveal
readyputheri
nherpl
ace.
Ri
ghtaf
tersl
appingt
heshitoutofHl
okes 
Me;
(chuckl
es)
 
Her
;youlaugh.Buthedi
dn’tt
hinki
twasatt
he
t
ime,butnowwel aughabouti
t 
Me;
well,
atl
eastHl
okeshasn’
tgoner
unni
ngf
or
t
hehil
l
s
Her;hecoul
dn’
twai
ttoleavetownwit
hGhost.
ButItol
dhimI’
dberighther
ewaiti
ngforhi
m
whenhegetsback 
Me;l
uckyy
ou,
butIt
hinkt
hisi
sitf
ormeand
SI
ya 
Her
;may
be.Butnoneofuscant
ell
thef
utur
e 
Me;
justst
opbeingsoent
husi
ast
ic,
andgi
veme
mytubofi
ce-
cream

Boniwenttof
etchthei
cecream,andwebot
h
j
ustateti
ll
wecouldn’
ttakeany
mor e.
 
Wewat chedaf ewmov i
es,atejunk,
andtook
uglyself
ies.Theonethi
ngIloveaboutBoni,i
s
thatnomat terwhat
,shewast hatki
ndofri
deor
diefr
iend.Notthatmyotherfri
endsweren’
t.But
i
twasj usteasierformetot
alktoBoni
,because
sheknewexact lywhoSiyawas.SoIneverneed
tosugar-coathingswit
hher
.

Boni st
ayed,unt
ilaf
ter8pm.Bytheti
meshelef
t
Ihadcr i
ed,l
aughedandev enpr
ayed.Wehad
dinnertoget
her,
thenshewenthome.  
Iwasreal
l
ygrat
eful
thatshehadstayedf
orso
l
ong.Shemademef eell
ikeIcoul
dgetovert
his.

Aft
erBonil
eft
,Iwentt
omybedr
oom t
oget
someshuteye.
 
Il
ookedatmyphoneandIhad2mi ssedcal
l
s
fr
om Siy
a.Icheckedmessages,
andhehad
sentmeamessaget el
l
ingmet ocheckmy
email
s. 
Itookmylapt
opandwentt hroughmyemail
s.
Theemai l
hewasref
err
ingt owasaboutt
he
reopeni
ngofNdhl
ovucorp.Iwasexcit
ed,
becauseIwoul
datl
eastbeabl
etogetbackt
o
work.

Isenthi
m aWhatsAppsay
ingt
hanky
ou,
andhe
cal
ledmeback.
 
Deci
dedt oi
gnorehiscal l
.Ididn’tseetheuseof
usstayi
ngincontact.Ifweneededt odiscuss
anyt
hingconcer
ningbusi ness,thenwecoul ddo
soviaemail
.Butper sonalcal
lsaf terworki
ng
hour
swer eoffl
i
mi ts. 
Iputmyphoneonsi
l
ent
,andwentt
osl
eep.

Gett
ingoverSi
yawasn’tgoingtobeeasy .I
al
readymisshi
m somuch, andithasn’
teven
beenaweek.Ijustpray
edt hatwit
htimeIwould
beabletomoveon, andli
vemyl if
ewi t
houthi
m.

Tomorrowwasanewday,andIplannedon
concent
rat
ingonmyj
ob,
andbuildingmycareer
.
Itwasti
meIstart
edconcent
rat
ingonmy
sel
f,
andstar
tfor
gett
ingaboutSi
ya.

Ihadexactlyaweek,befor
eNdhl
ovuCorp
reopened.SoIntheMant i
me,
Ineededto
removeev eryi
nchofSiy
aoutofmylif
e.

Ouronl
yconnect
ionmovi
ngf
orwar
dwoul
dbe
t
hroughNdhl
ovuCorp.
[
05/
13,
21:
07]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

113

Iwokeupthedayf
oll
owi
ngSi
ya’
sdepar
tur
e
feel
i
ngalotl
essgl
oomy.

Iwasn’
tint
hemoodt osi
taroundandeatice-
cr
eam agai
n,soIdeci
dedtorat
herredecor
ate
thehouse.Ist ar
tedwithget
tingri
dofall
the
bedsheet sandDuv et
s.ThenItookdownevery
pictur
eofSi yathatIcoul
dfi
nd.Imov edtot
he
closet,
andempt i
edouttherestofhi
s
belongings.

Theonlygoodaboutt
heclosetspace,wast
hat
Icoul
dfil
li
tupwithmoreofmyt hings.

Ideci
dedt okeepmyr i
nginthesaf
e.Ididn’
t
planonwearingitagai
n,butIal
sodidn’
twant
tosell
it.

WhenIwasdone,Icall
edMam Mart
haand
askedheri
fshewantedanyoft
hestuf
f.

Shetookwhatshewant
ed,
thenIt
oldhert
o
donatet
herestofi
t.
Shel
ookedatmeandIknewshehad
somet
hingshewant
edtosay

Me;
sayi
t 
Her
;doy
our
eal
l
ywantt
ogetr
idofev
ery
thi
ng 
Me;Yes.AndIpl
anonbur
ningal
lthose
pi
ctur
es 
Her
;ev
eny
ourweddi
ngal
bum 
Me;
especi
all
ymyweddi
ngal
bum 
Her
;ar
eyousur
eaboutt
his?
 
Me;
yes.Hetol
dmetomov eon,soIdon’
tsee
t
hepoi
ntofhangi
ngont
othepast 
Her
;ok

Mam,Marthatookal
lthest
uff
,whi
l
eIchanged
andwentshoppi
ng. 
Iwasst
illannoy
edthatIhadtohavesecuri
ty
wit
hmeev er
ywher
eIwent ,
butatl
eastther
e
wasonl
yt woguardsinst
eadof4,andtheykept
atadi
stant.

Ishoppedforal
mostthewholeday.Ibought
newbedding,pi
ctur
eframes,
mirr
orsect

Isti
l
l hadoneofSiya’
screditcards,soIwent
wil
d.Idon’tknowwhyIdi dn’tusemi ne,Butf
or
somer easonIjustf
eltl
i
keannoy i
nghi m.Ieven
endedupor deri
ngawhol elotofGy m
equipment

Iplannedontur
ninghi
soffi
ce,
int
oanicegym,
andsincehehadnol i
mitonhi
scredi
tcar
d,I
tookadvant
age.

Af
tershoppi
ngIwasexhaust
ed.Ideci
dedt
ogo
tomugandbean,
justt
ogetasmoot
hie,
bef
ore
headi
nghome.
 
AsIwaswalki
ngoutMugandbean,
Ibumped
i
ntoJason.

Hi
m;f
ancymeet
ingy
ouher
e 
Me;
Howar
eyou?
 
Hi
m;wel
l
,you?
 
Me;
I’
m good.
 
Hi
m;di
dn’
tknowy
ouwer
ebacki
nthecount
ry 
Me;
beenbackf
oracoupl
eofmont
hsnow 
Hi
m;andy
oudon’
tev
enpopbyt
osayHI
 
Me;
sor
rydude.Thi
ngshav
ebeenhect
ic.
Hi
m;Weshoul
dcat
chupsoon 
Me;
sur
e,j
ustt
extmeadat
eandt
ime 
Hi
m;i
l
lhol
dyout
oit
 
Me;
youdot
hat
.
Igav
eJasonahuggoodby e,
thenlef
ttogo
home.WhenIarri
vedhome,Iaskedtheguar
ds
topl
aceever
ythi
nginthel
ounge. 
Al
lthatwasl
eftwasf
ort
hegy
m equi
pmentt
o
ar
ri
ve.

Mam Mar
thal
ookedatal
lthest
uffandsmi
l
ed

Her
;Ihav
eamessagef
rom Ghost
 
Me;
oh 
He;askedt
haty
oucal
lhi
m,assoonasy
ouget
home 
Me;
Thanksma

Ideci
dedtoratherunpackall
thest
ufft
hatIhad
bought
.Ineededt ogetahandymantocome
andhangthemi rr
orsoncetheyar
ri
ved,
but
ot
herthant
hatIwaspl
easedwi
thev
ery
thi
ng
el
se.

Iputnewbeddingont hebed,andunpackedthe
rest.Byt
hetimeIwasdone, Icoul
dhardly
standonmyf eet
.Ifl
oppedont hecouchand
watchedsomeTV.Isawmyphonev i
brati
ng
andsawi twasSiya.

Ii
gnoredthecal
l,
anddeci
dedtorat
hercall
my
aunt
.Ithi
nkitwasonl
yfai
rformetolether
knowthatSiy
aandIhadbrokenup.

Her
;nana 
Me;
hiRakgadi
,howar
eyou 
Her
;im good.You?
Me;
ahhm I
’
m ok 
Her
;what
swr
ongFi
fi
?
Me;
wel
l
,Ahhmm Si
yaandIhav
ebr
okenup 
Her
;whennow 
Me;
afewday
sago 
Her
;whathappened?
 
Me;It
’sal
ongstor
yRakgadi
.Buti
l
ltel
lyoual
l
abouti
twhenIcomehome 
Her
;whendoy
oupl
anoncomi
nghome 
Me;
im dr
ivi
ngdownt
omor
row
Her
;ok.I
llseey
out
hen 
Me;
thanksRakgadi
.
He;
Ilov
eyoune 
Me;
Lov
eyout
oo

Idi
dn’treal
l
yplanongoinghome, butwhenI
spoket omyaunt,
Ijustknewthatwastheri
ght
thi
ngtodo.Ithadbeenawhi l
esinceIhadbeen
home, andIthi
nki
twoulddomegoodt ogo
andv i
sitmypar
ent
’sgr
ave,
andj
ustgeti
n
touchwi t
hwhoIam.

Ihadahomemadesmoot hi
e,t
henwentt opack
mybag.Iwantedtospendatl
east4dayswith
myaunt,andt
henbebackonSat ur
day.SoI
coul
drestonSunday,
befor
eIhadtostarta
workonMonday.

Afterpacki
ngIwentstrai
ghttobed.Iwant
edto
l
eav ebri
ghtanearl
ytomor r
ow,sothatIdi
dn’
t
havetodr i
vedur
ingtheday.Especi
all
ywit
hthe
crazyweatherwehavelatel
y.

IsentBoni
aWhat sApplett
ingherknowthatI
wil
lbeawayforawhile.Thenmistakenl
y
answeredacal
lfr
om Siya

Shi
t
Me;
hel
l
o 
Hi
m;I
’
m sur
pri
sedy
out
ookmycal
l
 
Me;
Iact
ual
l
yanswer
edbymi
stake 
Hi
m;wel
l
,I’
m gl
adei
therway
 
Me;
Siy
a,whatcanIdof
ory
ou 
Hi
m;Iseey
ouwentshoppi
ng 
Me;
yaahso 
Hi
m;j
ustchecki
ngupony
ou 
Me;
ok,
cool
bye 
Hi
m;wai
t 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;Imi
ssy
ou

Iputthephonedown.Idon’
tknowwhatthe
fuckSiyawasplay
ingat.Hi
swholehotandcol
d
shitwasannoyi
ngthefuckoutofme.
Het
ri
edcall
i
ngme,butIi
gnor
edhi
m andput
myphoneonsi
l
ent
.

Iwokeupthenextmorni
ngatar
ound5am, I
tookaqui
ckshower,
thenwentdownst
air
swith
mybags.

Il
eftanoteformam Mar
tha,tel
li
ngherIwas
goi
ngaway .Iwaski
ndofhopingtododgethe
guards,
butthemomentIsteppedout
,they
werewaiti
ng. 
Il
etoutasigh,
andexplainedthatIwasgoi
ng
homefortheweekend.Theyinsist
edthatt
hey
hadtorepor
ttoSi
ya,fi
rstblahblahbl
ah

Idecidedt
orathercal
lSi
yamy
sel
f.Al
lIwas
doingwasgoingtoQwaQwa.
Idi
all
edSi
yaandhepi
ckedupont
hesecond
ri
ng 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
Hi…doy
ouhav
eamoment
 
Hi
m;f
ory
ou?Al
way
s 
Me;
Siy
a,wi
l
lyoust
opwi
thal
loft
hat
 
Hi
m;i
t’
sthet
rut
hmos 
Me;
Canwej
ustst
ickt
othet
opi
cathand.
 
Hi
m;whi
chi
s 
Me;I’
m goi
ngtoQwaQwa,
butappar
ent
lyIneed
getper
missi
onfr
om myextodoso 
Hi
m;Idon’
tli
ket
hatwor
d 
Me;
whatwor
d 
Hi
m:ex
Me;
Siy
a, 
Hi
m;ok,
sor
ry 
Me;
so 
Hi
m; I
’l
ll
etthet
eam know.Inf
utur
epl
ease
di
scussthi
swit
hmepr ior

Iputthephonedown,andgotinmycar
.Iwas
gratef
ulbecauseatl
eastIdi
dn’
thav
etodri
ve
withaguardinthecar.

Iarri
vedinQwaQwaatar ound9:
00am.Iwent
strai
ghttomyaunt’
shouse.Inst
eadofmy
parents’
house.Iwasn’
tsureIwasreadyt
ogo
thereasyet
.

WhenIarr
ived,
Icoul
dsmel
lfr
eshl
ybaked
scones
Me;
koko 
Her
;comei
n
Iwalkedinandgav eherahug.Ididn’
tbr
eakthe
hugforawhi l
e.I
tjustfeltsogoodtobei
nher
arms.Iheldonti
ght erandtear
sstart
edt
oflow.

Her
;shhhh.You’
rehomenow 
Me;
(sni
ff
)Imi
ssedy
ousomuch
Her
;I’
vemi
ssedy
out
oo 
Me;
(sni
ff
)

Myauntbr
oket
hehg,
andwi
pedmyt
ear
s

Her
;si
tdown,
I’
vemadef
reshscones 
Me;
I’
ll
putt
heket
tl
eon

Imadetea,
whi
lemyauntandImov edt
othe
di
ningr
oom.Nothi
ngmakesyoufeelmoreat
home,t
hanhav
ingsconeswi
thtea.
 
Her
;sot
ell
mewhat
’sgoi
ngon?
Me;
Idon’
tev
enknowwher
etost
art
 
Her
;st
artatt
hebegi
nni
ng

Itoldmyauntev er
ythingthathappened
betweenSiyaandmy sel
f.Ionlyl
eftouttheOps
i
ssue, andbei
ngkidnapped, ot
herthanthatI
toldherthetr
uthaboutourr el
ati
onship.
 
From hisbabymama,t
omemoryl
oss,t
olosi
ng
thetwins,t
henget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed,
andlast
lyour
divor
ce.

Thel
ookonmyauntsf
acet ol
dmet hatno
matt
erhowmuchshelovesme,shewasgoing
togi
vemeonehel
lofalectur
e

It
ookasi
pofmyt
ea,
andbr
acedmy
sel
f
Her
;that
’sal
ott
ogot
hroughi
njustov
eray
ear
Me;
yaah 
Her;I
’
veheardy
outell
meabouteveryt
hing,
but
notoncedi
dIheary
ousayyouprayedaboutit
Me;
true 
Her
;Rif
iloe,
Mybrotherandhiswif
eraisedyou
i
nthehouseofGod.Youwer ebroughtupasa
bel
i
ever.Whywouldy oufor
sakeal
lofthat?
 
Me;
I 
Her;noexcuses.Thereisnowayy our
rel
ati
onshi
pwi t
haman, wouldbesuccessf ul
wit
houtyouhav i
ngar elationshipwithGod.You
weretry
ingtorunthings, butyouforgotthat
Godistheonewhor unsourl ives.
 
Me;
sowhatdoy
ousuggest
 
Her;
gobacktoyourroots.Gotochurch.Seek
Godinyourl
if
e.Seekhisguidance.Putonyour
chur
chunif
orm,andenjoybeingsingl
e. 
Me;
Iguessy
ourr
ight
 
Her
;IknowI
’
mri
ght
. 
Me;
Thanky
ouRakgadi
 
Her
; don’
tthankme.I’l
lal
way
sbeher
efory
ou
Ri
fi
loe.Nomat terwhat

MyauntandIspokeforhour
s.Wel
ookedat
someofmyparentsalbums.
 
Si
ncemyparent
spassi
ng,Ihadav
oidedl
ooki
ng
att
hei
rpi
ctur
es.Ev
enbeinginQwaQwafel
t
wei
rd.
Aft
erhavi
nglunchwi
thmyaunt,Ideci
dedto
j
oinherf
ortheeveni
ngser
viceatchur
ch.
 
Myauntcameouti
nheruni
for
m,andr
emi
nded
mesomuchofmymot her
.

Her
; ar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
ochangei
ntoy
our
uni
form?
Me;
Idon’
tthi
nki
tev
enf
it
smeany
mor
e 
Her
;wel
lther
e’sonl
yonewayt
ofi
ndout
 
Me;
I’
ll
gogeti
t

Il
eftmyaunt,
andwal kedtomypar ent
s’home.
Ifoundmycousi
nt here.Hewastheonet aki
ng
careoft
hehouse,sincethei
rpassi
ng. 
Igreetedhi
m,andt
oldhi
m we’
dcat
chup,
aft
er
church.

Itookmyuni
for
m,andwentbackt
omyaunt
’s
house.

Her
;Fi
fi
,we’
regoi
ngt
obel
ate.Hur
ryup 
Me;
Ijustneedt
oir
oni
tqui
ckl
y.
 
Her
;passi
ther
e,I
lli
roni
tfory
ou,
whi
l
eyouget
r
eady
Iwenttot
hebedr
oom andgotr
eady
,then
changedi
ntomyuni
for
m. 
Her
;fi
tsl
i
keagl
ove 
Me;
yaah,
 
Her
;come.We’
l
lbel
ate 
Me;
Ijustneedmycarkey
s 
Her
;Ri
fi
loe,
Thechur
chi
sdownt
her
oad.
 
Me;
ok,
fine,
let
’swal
k 
Her
;ar
eyourguy
scomi
ngwi
th?
Me;
youmeant
heguar
ds?
 
Her
;Yes
Me;unfor
tunat
elyy
es.Butt
heyar
ever
y
di
screet
. 
Her
;thankgoodness.

Wewal
kedt
ochur
ch,
andImustsay
,Ir
eal
l
y
enjoy
edtheserv
ice.I
thadbeensolongsinceI
hadbeeninchurch.I
twasabitawkward
runni
ngint
oHlokes’par
ent
s,butnonethelessI
wasgladtoseethem.

Af
terchur
ch,
myauntandIwenthome,
andhad
di
nnerwit
hmyuncl
e. 
Myauntwasr i
ghtaboutonet hing.Ihadletthe
bigcit
ychangewhoIwas.Iwasnol ongerthe
sameRi fi
loe,gir
lwhol ovedherselfandenjoyed
l
ife.I
nsteadIhadbecomesodependentonSi y
a,
bothemot ionall
yandphy sical
ly
.ThatIhad
total
l
ynegl ectedmyspi r
ituall
if
e.Butnomor e.
Nowi twast imet otr
ulytakecar eofme, and
notfeelbadf ordoingso.
[
05/
13,
21:
08]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

114
Iwokeupt hefol
l
owingmor ni
ngf
eeli
ngaslight
asafeather.I
twasasthoughaweighthad
beenl
ift
edof fmyshoul
ders.

Iwashopi
ngmyauntwouldbegoi
ngt
othe
far
mtoday.If
eltl
i
kebei
ngInt
ouchwi
thnat
ure.

It
idi
edupmyroom,
openedt
hewi
ndows,
and
wenttobat
h.

Bytheti
meIwasdone,Iwentt
omake
br
eakfastf
ormyauntanduncl
e.

Myuncletookhi
sbr
eakf
astt
ogo,
whi
l
emy
auntandIsat

Her
;sowhatar
eyourpl
ansf
ort
oday
?
Me;
Iwashopi
ngt
ogot
othef
arm wi
thy
ou 
Her
;Ser
ious?
Me;
Yes.
 
Her
;Let
sfi
nishher
e,t
hewecango

Wehadbr
eakf
ast
,thenwel
eftf
ort
hef
arm.

Ihelpedmyauntmil
kthecows, f
eedthe
chi
ckensandevenhelpedheremploy
eeswi
th
gatheri
ngeggsf
rom t
hechickens.

IthadbeensolongsinceIhadbeenhere,
butI
sti
llenj
oyedever
ythi
ng.Ideci
dedtogoupon
thehill
,andj
ustt
akeinthebeautyoft
hisplace.

Ideci
dedt
omakeaprayer.Despi
temeno
l
ongerbei
ngwi
thSi
ya,Ist
ill
somehowmissed
Him.
Idon’tknowwhet heritwasmecr avinghis
scentormej ustbeingfool
ish,butIhadto
honest l
ylearntoputhi minmypast .Theonly
problem withthatisthatSiya,hadatendencyof
keepingmeonahi nge,andIneededt otake
my selfoffi
t,sothatIcouldt r
ulymov eon.
 
Itookoutmyphoneandt y
pedoutanemailt
o
hi
m.IknewthatifIhear
dhisvoi
ce,Iwoul
d
changemymind.

Fr
om: Rif
il
oeMokoena
[
mail
to:Ri
fil
oeM@Ndhl
ovuCor
p.co.
za]
Sent
:01Mar
ch201610:
45AM
To:Si
yabongaNdhl
ovu
<si
yabongM@NdhlovuCor
p.co.
za>
Subj
ect
:Goodby
e

DearSi
ya,
Fi
rst
lyIhopethaty
ouar
ewel
l
,wher
every
ouar
e
i
nthewor l
d.
AsyouknowI’
m homei
nQWAQWAatt he
moment,andt
heti
meawayhasdonemesome
good.
 
WhichiswhywhatI’
m goingtosayi
sgoi
ngto
hurtme,butnonet
helessIthi
nkIneedt
otel
l
you.

Il
oveyouSi
ya.Il
ovey
oumorethanI’
v el
oved
mysel
f.Whi
chIthi
nki
srat
herunheal
thy.
 
Ineededyourlovetomakemef eel
compl
ete,
andyetIdidn’
tlovemysel
ftoknowwheni
t
wasn’tenough.

Iknowy ou’r
eprobablywonderingwhyI’m
sendi
ngy outhi
s,andt hereasonisbecauseI
’m
fi
nall
ylett
inggoofy ou.Ineedtodothissothat
Icanbr
eat
he.
 
Ineedyouinturntostayaway.Ineedy
out
o
ref
rai
nfrom contact
ingme,i
nanyway
Iknowt hatisratherdi
ff
icultgiventhefactthatI
am CEOofy ourcompany ,butIhav edecidedto
resi
gnfrom Ndhl ovuCorp.Ican’ tmoveon, i
fI
am li
nkedt oyou.Ineedt obeabl et
otryandget
usedtol i
fewithoutyou,andt hebestwayI
know,isbysepar ati
ngmyl ifefrom yours 
Ihopeyoufi
ndwhatev
eri
tist
haty
ouar
e
l
ookingfori
nli
fe 
Thanks&ki
ndr
egar
ds

Ri
fi
loeMokena

PS;pl
easerefr
ainfr
om call
i
ngmet odi
scuss
theabove.I
t’
sdif
fi
cultt
ypi
ngit
.Idon’
tthi
nkI
canbeartohearyourvoi
ce
Ipressedsend.AndhopedthatSiy
awould
honourmyr equest
.Ideci
dedtoblockhi
m onall
socialmedi
apagesandonmyphone.Al lI
coulddonow, washopehewoul dunder
stand,
andalsomov eon.

*
***
***
***
**SI
YA*
***
***
***
***
***

Thi
sf ucki
ngemailfr
om Rif
il
oewasdrivi
ngme
mad.Iknowaf t
erevery
thi
ngthat’
shappened,
I
havenor i
ghtt
owanther ,
butthi
semailwas
honestl
ymywor stni
ghtmare.

Event houghIhadn’
tspokent oheraboutthi
s,I
hadhopedshewoul dwai tforme.Iknowi t
’s
sel
fish,ofmeespecial
lysinceIwast heone
whol eadushere.Butj
udgi ngbyheremail,
Rif
il
oewasmov ingon,andt het
houghtofthat
scar
edme.

Itr
iedcal
li
ngheronhermobi
l
e,butcoul
dn’
tget
thr
ough. 
IsentheraWhat
sApp,
andshehadbl
ockedme.

Itwasclearshewantednot
hingtodowi
thme,
andthattorethr
oughmyheart.

Ideci
dedtor at
herletherbe.Iwastoofaraway
toseeher,anddiscussthis,somyonlyopti
on
wastolethergo, andpraythatshedoesn’
tfi
nd
anyoneti
l
lIreturntoSA.

*
***
***
***
***
**RI
FILOE*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
*
***
***
***
*

Ispentatl
east2weeksi
nQWAQWA,
andI
l
ov edi
t.Iwenttothef
arm everyday
,andwent
tochurchjustasmuch.Ivi
sit
edmypar ent
’s
grave,
andev enwenthi
kingwithmyuncle.

Iwasfinal
l
ygett
ingbacktobeingme,andIfelt
atpeaceabouti
t,f
orthef
irstt
imeinf
orever
, I
washappy.Trul
yhappyandithadnot
hingtodo
aman.

Ilef
tQwaQwafel
li
ngrej
uvenat
ed.Iwasexci
ted
tostar
tthi
snewchapt
erinmylif
e. 
WhenIarriv
edhome,myGy m equi
pmenthad
ar
ri
ved.Thenewmi r
ror
shadbeenputup,and
mynewpi ctur
eshadar
ri
vedfrom t
hepri
nter
s. 
Thehousewasl
ooki
ngmor
eli
kemyhome,
and
Iwasglad.

IknewthateventhoughIdi
dn’
tneedt
owork,
I
wantedto.I
’m notr
all
yoneoft
hosepeopl
ewho
cansitathomeallday,
anddonot hi
ng.I
neededtofindaJob,ASAP,sothatIcoul
d
wakeupandhav eapurpose. 
Ilookedonl
ineforawhi
le,andsentoutmyCV
totwopotenti
alcompanies.
 
AllinallLif
ewasOk.Ihadn’ tspokentoSiya
sincesendi ngt
heemai l
.Iknewt hatIcoul
dn’t
trul
yav oidhimfor
ev er
,si
ncehi sguardsaresti
ll
foll
owingmeev er
ywhere,butatleastIknewit
woul dstil
lbeawhile.

Itext
edJason,let
ti
nghi m knowIwasback
fr
om home, andthatweshoul ddoacat
chup
sessi
on.Tobehonest ,Iwantedtopi
ckhisbr
ain
abouttheJobmar ket
.

Heaskedi fIwasint
erestedi
nmeet i
ngf
or
dinner
.Ihesit
atedabit,
butthendeci
dedwhat
thehell
.It
’snotli
keI
twasadat eoranyt
hing.
Ihadexact
ly3hour
sbeforedinnerwi
thJason,
soIdeci
dedtogotothesalon. 
Iwant edtogetmyhai randnai
lsdone,It
hinki
t
wast imeIdidsomet hi
ngdrast
ic.SoIaskedmy
styl
isttocutmyhair.Iwantedsomethi
ngshort,
thatIcouldmaint
ain.

Aft
ermyt r
iptothesalon,Ir
ushedhome,t
o
shower,
andgetr eady
, t
henlef
ttoJoi
nJason,
atarest
auranti
nCr ai
ghall
. 
WhenIarri
vedatt
her
est
aur
ant
,Jasonwas
al
readyt
here.
 
Hestoodupwhenhesawmeandgav
emea
hug

Hi
m;Lov
ingt
henewhai
rst
yle 
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;Si
t

Hepul
l
edoutachai
rforme,
andIsatdown

Hi
m;Bei
ngawayhasdoney
ougood 
Me;
amazi
ngwhataf
ewday
sataf
arm wi
l
ldo 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)y
ouataf
arm?Idon’
tseei
t 
Me;I
’
m ser
ious.Iwasmi
l
kingcows,
and
f
eedi
ngchi
ckens 
Hi
m;wi
tht
hatmani
cur
e 
Me;
noMaan,
Ionl
ydi
dthi
stoday
 
Hi
m;soy
ouwant
edt
olookpr
ett
yforme?
Me;
iny
ourdr
eamsbuddy
Hi
m;wel
l
,amancanonl
ydr
eam
Me;yeshecan.Butamanshoul
dal
soknow
whentoqui
t 
Hi
m;orbet
tery
et,
whent
oper
sist
IlookedatJasonandsmi l
ed.Therewasnoway
I’
mf all
ingintothistr
ap.Iwasnowher enear
readyt obeinar elat
ionshi
pagain.Notaft
ert
he
disasterthatI’
vejustbeenthrough

Me;
Iper
sistal
lyoul
i
ke.I
’
m notf
all
i
ngf
ort
his 
Hi
m;wel
l
,iftherumoursar
etr
ue,
thatmeans
t
haty
ou’
refairgame 
Me;
fai
rgame?Real
l
y 
Hi
m;YouknowwhatImean 
Me;
andwhatdoy
oumeanr
umour
s
Hi
m;wel
l,wor
dist
hatyouar
eDivor
cedandar
e
l
ooki
ngt
omov eonwit
hyourl
if
e 
Me;howonear
thdoy
ouknowt
hat‘
hi
m;al
i
ttl
e
bi
rdytol
dme 
Me;
abi
rd?
 
Hi
m;aj
our
nal
i
st 
Me;
Jour
nal
i
st
Hi
m;yes.Appar
ent
lyt
her
e’samagazi
nest
oryi
n
t
hepi
peli
ne

Il
ookedatJasontr
yingt
ofigur
eouti
fhewas
ser
iousorj
ustpl
ayi
ngaround.

Me;Jasonwhywouldanyonewantt
oknow
any
thingaboutmeoraboutSi
ya
Him;youseewhathappenswhenyougo
gal
li
vanti
ngint
hewoodsf orsol
ong?Youget
l
eftoutofthel
oop 
Me;
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout

Jasont
ookouthi
sphoneandgoogl
edSi
ya

Hi
m;l
ook
It
ookt
hephonef
rom Jason,
andscr
oll
eddown.

Therewerepictur
esofhim ever
y wher
e.From
theblogs,t
ogossipmagazines.Apparent
lyhe
madei tontheForbesl
i
staf t
erthedealin
Beij
i
ng.Whi chsentSAi
naf renzy.

Ever
yonewantedtoknowmoreaboutthi
sown
mademi l
li
onai
re,
andsomehowpeoplefound
outabouthi
m bei
ngmarri
ed,
andnowbei ng
di
vorced 
Me;
noway
 
Hi
m;y
esway
 
Me;
Ithi
nkIneedadr
ink 
Hi
m;comi
ngup

Igav
eJasonbackhi
sphone,
andwonder
ed
whySi
yahadlett
hismedi
afr
enzygoonf orso
l
ong.I
twassounli
kehi
mt ol
etattent
ionl
ike
t
hisgoon.Si
yawasaverypr
ivat
eperson.

Somethingwasgoi ngon, andIjusthoped

whateveritwas, wasn’tgoingtoaffectme,
becauseifjournali
stswereal r
eadyaski ng
questi
onsaboutme, itwasonl yamat terof
ti
met i
llt
heyf oundme.
[
05/
13,
21:
09]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

115

Hav ingdi
nnerwit
hJasonwasr at
herfun.I
noticedhefli
rt
edalot
,butImanagedt ostay
fri
endlydespit
eit
.Imaynotbelooki
ngf or
anythingseri
ous,
butIal
sowasn’tgoingtowait
aroundandnothav ef
un.Jasonwaswel laware
thatIwasn’tl
ooki
ngforarel
ati
onship,sowho
wasIt
ost
ophi
mfr
om t
ryi
ng

Afterdi
nner,Ii
nsistedondrivi
ngJasonhome.
Hehadhadf artoomucht odrink,andIwasn’
t
reall
ycomfortablewithhim dr
ivi
ng.Ihadonly
had1gl assofwi ne,socomparedt ohi
m,Iwas
soberasaj udge.

Me;
weshoul
dgety
ouhome 
Hi
m;wi
l
lyout
uckmei
n 
Me;
hel
lno 
Hi
m; (
giggl
es)y
ouar
ehonest
lyahar
donet
o
cr
ack 
Me;
andy
ety
oukeepont
ryi
ng 
Hi
m;I
’
m notr
eal
l
yonet
ogi
veup 
Me;
Jason,
justshutup
Jasonpay
edthebi
l
l,andt
henIdr
ovehim home,
whil
eoneoft
heguardsdr
ovehi
scar.

Hi
m;wantt
ocomei
n?
Me;
Idon’
tthi
nkt
hat
’sagoodi
dea 
Hi
m;whynot
? 
Me;
Jason,
I 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
Iwon’
ttr
yanyt
hing.Ij
ustwant
edt
o
knowifyouwant
edcoff
ee 
Me;
(si
gh)f
ine.Leadt
heway

Iwal
kedinwit
hJason,
andIwasquite
sur
pri
sedathowcl
eanhisapar
tmentwas

Hi
m;Cof
fee?
 
Me;
please 
Hi
m;howdoy
oul
i
kei
t 
Me;
li
kemymen 
Hi
m;dot
ell
 
Me;
sweetandst
rong 
Hi
m;bl
ackorwhi
te 
Me(
giggl
es)dependsont
hemood 
Hi
m;andy
ourmoodt
oday
? 
Me;
mhmmm l
et’
ssayAhhhmmm bl
ack 
Hi
m;damni
t 
Me;
(gi
ggl
es)y
ou’
l
lgetov
eri
t 
Hi
m;bar
ley

Jasonstoodupandwenttomakecoff
ee,
while
Ilookedatt
hevi
ewthathehadfr
om hi
sdini
ng
room.

Hi
m;l
i
kewhaty
ousee?
Me;
thev
iewi
samazi
ng 
Hi
m;Iwasr
efer
ri
ngt
ome 
Me;
ohhhshutupman

Jasongav
ememycof
fee,
andIdr
ankup.

Me;
youmakeameancof
fee
Him;Icanmakealotofmeant
hings.Al
lyou
havetodoisst
ickar
ound 
Me;
(si
gh)Jason 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;I
’
vejustcomeoutofamarr
iage.I
’
m not
ev
enclosetobei
ngreadyt
odat
ingagain
Hi
m; whosaidany
thi
ngaboutdat
ing?Ij
ust
wantustochil
l
.Havefun 
Me;
Idon’
tknow 
Hi
m;Icoul
dtr
yconv
inci
ngy
ou
Iwon’tl
i
eandsayt hatIwasn’tt
emptedtoj
ust
ri
phisclot
hesoff
.Butatthesamet i
meIknew
thati
twouldj
ustl
eadt omef eel
ingbad.

Jasonmov edcl
oser
,andstar
edi
ntomyeyes
withthosedr
eamyblueey
es.Myhear
tst
arted
raci
ng 
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
oki
ssy
ou 
Me;
don’
t

Iwantedt
otakeastepbackJason’
sli
pswere
al
readyonmine.Heki
ssedmeandIf r
oze.
 
Het ast
edl i
kecoff
eeandwinemixedtogether
,
andi tf
eltgreat
.HEkissedmedeeper
,andI
respondedbyput t
ingmyarmsaroundhis
neck. 
Imayhav eenj
oyedthekiss,butIsureashel
l
di
dn’tpl
anonsleepingwithJason.Iwas
gr
ateful
thathedidn’tt
akeitfur
ther.I
nst
eadhe
sl
owl
ypul
l
edawayandsmi
l
edatme

Hi
m;sor
ry 
Me;
noy
ou’
renot
 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)
 
Me;
Ishoul
dgo 
Hi
m;I
’
llwal
kyouout

Jasont
ookmyhand,
andwal
kedmeout

Hi
m;sodoy
our
egr
eti
t 
Me;
I’
m notsur
eyet
Him;Iknowyou’
renotov
ery
ourexy
et.AndI
’
m
nott
ryingt
orepl
acehim.
 
Me;
I’
m gl
ady
ougeti
t 
Hi
m;al
way
s.
Igav
eJasonahug,
andhel
eanedi
nandgav
e
meakissont
hecheek.

Hi
m;seey
ousoon 
Me;
sho

Igoti
nmycar ,andl etoutasi gh.Idon’
treall
y
knowwhatI’m doingher e.KissingJasondidn’
t
makemef eelGuilty
, notatall,butatt
hesame
ti
me,nomat t
erhowgoodaki sserhewashe
wasn’
tSi
ya,andt hatj ustannoy edme

WhenIarri
vedhome, Iwentt
otakeashower,
thengoti
ntobed.Inoti
cedmyphoneri
nging,
butthenumberwasn’tfami
li
ar

Me;
Hel
l
o 
Hi
m;howwasdi
nner
 
Me;
I’
m goodhowar
eyouSi
ya 
Hi
m;(
sigh)
 
Me;
whatcanIdof
ory
ou 
Hi
m;nev
ermi
nd

Si
yadroppedt
hecal
l
.AndIputmyphoneon
si
l
ent.
 
Iwasn’
tgoi
ngtofeelbadaboutgoingtodi
nner
wit
hafri
end.Si
yahadnor i
ghttojudgeme.
Nonewhatsoever.Hewastheonewho
deci
dedtoendthi
ngsmos

Itossedandt ur
nedmostoft
henight.Thatcal
l
fr
om Siya,hadsomehowratt
ledmycage.Ifelt
l
ikeIhadhur thi
m andt
hatdi
dn’tsi
twellwit
h
me.
Il
ookedattheti
meandi twasaf
ter1:
00am.I
deci
dedtocall
Siyaei
therway

Hi
m;mhhh 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;Mhmmm
Me;
wakeup 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
I’
vej
ustputmyheaddown.
 
Me;
whydi
dyoucal
lmeear
li
er 
Hi
m;doesi
tmat
ter
 
Me;
justanswert
hequest
ion 
Hi
m;(
sigh)Ihear
daboutdi
nner
 
Me;
whataboutdi
nner
 
Hi
m;thatyouwer
ether
eforawhi
l
e,and
ev
ent
uall
ywenttohi
splace
Me;
oh 
Hi
m;di
dany
thi
nghappen 
Me;areyouhonest
lyaski
ngmei
fIsl
eptwi
th
Jason 
Hi
m;Yes 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;wel
l
? 
Me;
goodby
eSi
ya 
Hi
m;Ri
f

Icutthecal
l,andputmyphoneonsi l
entagai
n.I
don’tknowwhy ,butforsomer easonIdidn’
t
feelcomfor
tabletell
i
ngSi y
aaboutJason
kissi
ngme,butIal soknewt hatSiy
awoul dfi
nd
awayt ogettothet r
uth.

Iwokeupt
hefoll
owi ngmorningandchanged
i
ntomygym cl
othes.Iwantedtotestoutsome
oft
henewmachi nesthatIhadpurchased.
 
Af
termywor
kout
,Iwentt
oshower
,thenwent
t
ohav
ebr
eakf
ast
.

WhenIgottothedini
ngroom,Inoti
cedahuge
bouquetoff
lower
ssitt
ingi
nthelounge.
 
Itookoutt
hecar
d,andj
ustknewt
heywer
e
fr
om Jason.
 
Ideci
dedt
ocal
lhi
mtosayt
hanky
ou

Hi
m;Hi
beaut
if
ul 
Me;
hey
 
Hi
m;hopey
oul
i
kemyf
lower
s 
Me;
lov
ethem 
Hi
m;doyoul
ovet
hem enought
ohav
ebr
unch
wi
thme?
 
Me;
Jason 
Hi
m;I
t’
sjustBr
unch.Ipr
omi
senott
oki
ssy
ou 
Me;
thewayy
ousai
dthatt
oldmey
ouar
ely
ing 
Hi
m;woul
ditbesuchabadt
hingt
hough 
Me;
yes 
Him;
well
Idi
sagr
ee.Youenj
oyedt
hatki
ssj
ust
asmuchIdi
d 
Me;
that
’snott
hepoi
nt 
Hi
m;andwhynot
Me;
because 
Hi
m;becausey
ou’
rest
il
lhungupony
ourex 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;butI
’
m notl
ooki
ngt
orepl
acehi
m
Me;y
ah,
buti
t’
sonl
ybeen2weeks.Ineedmor
e
t
ime 
Hi
m;ok,
fai
renough
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;canIsaysomet
hing 
Me;
yes
Hi
m;Il
ookf
orwar
dtoki
ssi
ngy
ouagai
n 
Me;
ByeJason

Iputthecall
down, andshookmyhead.Iwas
honestl
yplayi
ngav erydanger
ousgamewi t
h
JasonandSi ya.Ij
ustknewthatJasonwasn’t
goingtomakei teasyformetobeal one.

Hewassodamnper si
stent,
andt heonesi deof
meenj
oyedt hat,andyetIstil
lfeltSiyalurkingin
t
heshadows, andIdidn’tknowi fIcouldt ruly
moveon.Especiall
yafterthecall conversation
wi
thhi
ml astnight.
[
05/
13,
21:
10]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

116

Ispentt
herestoft
hedayi
ndoor
s.My
consci
ouswaseati
ngmeupsobadly
.Il
oved
Si
ya,
andthethoughtofmeki
ssi
nganot
her
man,andhi
m knowingmademefeel
solow.

Tomakemat t
ersworse,Ididn'ttell
himthatit
wasonlyakiss,andthatnothingmor e
happened.Hewaspr obablythinkingIhadslept
wit
hhim, andthatdi
dn'tsi
twel lwithme

Ipi
ckedupmyphonetodi
alhi
m,butt
hen
anot
hercal
lcamei
n,andi
twasBoni

Me:
fri
end 
Her
;heyy
ou.Howar
eu
Me:
I'
m goodbabe,
andy
ou?
Her:Rif
il
oedon’
tpr
etend.Iknowaboutt
he
pi
ctures 
Me:
pict
ures?Whatpi
ctur
es 
Her
:shi
t
Me:
Boni
Her
:shi
t,It
houghty
ouknew 
Me:
knewwhat
?
Her
:Ishoul
dn'
thav
eopenedmybi
gmout
h
Me: Boni
swa,
canyouj
ustt
ell
mewhatt
hehel
l
yourtal
ki
ngabout
 
Her
:ahhm
Me:
ohf
orgod’
ssake,
justopeny
ourmout
h 
Her
:ther
ear
epi
ctur
esofSi
yaev
ery
wher
e 
Me:
huh
Her
:tabl
oids 
Me:
so 
Her
:wel
l
,let
'sj
ustsayhewasn'
tal
one 
Me:Boni
canyoujustputt
oget
herasent
ence
t
hatmakessense
Her
:lookont
hei
nter
net
.I'
m onmyway
 
Boni
putdownt
hephone,
andIwentt
othe
bedroom,
tol
ookf
ormylaptop.Iwantedt
osee
whatwassobadt
hatBonicoul
dn'tev
enform
words.

Theminut
eItypedSi
yasnameinthesear
ch
engi
ne.Upcamepict
uresofSi
yaandJessi
ca.

Someoft hem wer

eonabeach, theotherswer e
ataclub,wit
hJessi
capracti
call
yshovingher
tonguedownhisthr
oat.Theylookedsoi nlov
e
andhappy.IhadneverseenSiyasorelaxed 
Idouble,
infacttr
ipl
echeckedthedateofthe
pi
ctures,andtheywereal
lfrom t
hisweek.

Myhandsst ar
tedt
rembl
i
ng.Wasthi
shonest
ly
happeni
ng.Siy
awasmov i
ngonandwit
hthat
fucki
ngbit
chwhoalmostgotmekil
l
ed.
Il
ookedforanotherbl
ogandtherewereeven
morepict
ures.Theywerel
it
eral
lyever
ywhere.
Huggi
ng,touchi
ngandmakingout .

Ihonestl
ydon’
tknowwhyIcamebacktoJHB.
Li
feinQwaQwawassomuchmor epeaceful
.
ButhereIwasnow,feel
i
ngl
ikeshi
tbecauseof
Siy
a.

Idon’tunderst
andwherewewentwr ong.I
thoughtwewer eok,
especial
lyaf
terhi
m
cheating.Andnowhe’sgonebacktoher.The
verysamewomanwhonear l
ygotmekill
ed

Justgoestoshowyouthatnomat terwhat
happens,y
ouwill
nevert
rulyknowsomeone.I
wassosur et
hatSiy
alovedme, butthi
sjust
provedi
twasallali
e.
Fucki
nghel
l

Ipacedtheroom upanddown.I
fIhadanyhope
forSi
yaandnot oreconci
l
e,i
twasoff
ici
all
y
demoli
shed.Therewasnohopeus.Noteveni
n
Hell
.

Ifel
tli
kekil
l
inghim,fordoi
ngthi
stome,
especi
all
yafterIj
ustcameback.

Iwentdownst
air
s.Ineededabot
tl
eofwi
ne,
to
hel
pcalm mynerves 
Mymi ndtol
dmet ocal
lJason,andt
akehim up
onhisoff
er,butt
henmyheartremembered
whatmyaunthadsaidtome, whenIwasin
QwaQwa.

Ideci
dedt
orat
herpr
ayabouti
t.Runni
ngi
nto
anotherman'sarmswasn'
tgoingtohel
pme
wit
hany thi
ng.I
nsteadi
twasjustgoi
ngtomake
mef eelworse.

Aft
erpray
ing,Ifel
tabi
tli
ght
er.Iwassti
l
lpi
ssed,
butatl
eastIdidn'
thav
etheurgetoki
ll
someone.

AsIwasbusyintheki
tchen,myphonestart
ed
ri
ngi
ng.Itwasa011number,soIfi
gureditwas
oneofthecompani
esthatIsubmi
ttedmyCVt o

Me:
Rif
il
oegoodday
 
Her:MrsNdhl
ovu,t
hisi
sPear
lKhubeka
speaki
ngfr
om theMZgossi
pmagazine 
Me:
howcanIhel
p?
Her:
Iwasjustphoni
ngtol
ety
ouknowt hatwe
ar
erunni
ngast or
yabouty
ouandyourhusband.
Iwashopingtogetacommentregar
dingt
he
l
atestpi
ctur
esthathav
esur
facedwit
hhim and
Jessi
caDial
e

Iwashonestlynev
erreadyforthecomment
thatthi
swomanhadj ustaskedme.Honest
lyI
hadjustpray
edaboutthis,
andherewassome
chicktr
yingt
opissmeof fall
overagai
n.

Me;
Ihav
enocomment
 
Her
:ar
eyouguy
sSt
il
lmar
ri
ed?
Me:
no
Her
;whenwast
hedi
vocef
inal
i
sed?
 
Me;
itspubl
i
crecor
ds.Whydon’
tyouf
indout
 
Her
;we’
vetr
iedever
ywher
e,butwecoul
dn’
tfi
nd
adi
vor
cedecree
Me;
speakt
oSi
yaabouti
t.
 
Her
;Hehasbeennear
lyi
mpossi
blet
ogethol
d
of
 
Me;
wel
l
,idon’
tknowwhatel
set
otel
lyou 
Her
;canIasky
ouonemor
equest
ion 
Me;
what
 
Her
;doy
oust
il
ll
ovehi
m

Ididn’
tanswert
hisPearlwoman.I
nsteadIcut
thecall
sandimmediatel
ycall
edSi
ya.Ineed
himt ogiv
emeanexplanationonwhatexact
ly
wasgoi ngon

Lucki
l
yheanswer
ed
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe 
Me:car
etoexpl
ainwhatt
hehel
lyou'
redoi
ng
wi
thJessi
ca 
Hi
m:noIdon'
t 
Me;
real
l
y?
Him: Rif
il
oeIdon'tneedorcar
etoexpl
ain
anythingtoyou.Especi
all
yaboutmyper
sonal
l
ife 
Me;
Ican'
tbel
i
eveev
erl
ovedy
ou 
Hi
m:what
ever
 
Me:
whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his 
Hi
m;by
eRi
fi
loe

Siy
acutthecal
landIst
oodt
her
efeel
i
ngl
i
ke
suchafool
.

Icouldn’tbeli
evethatSiyahadgot tenback
togetherwithJessica.Especiall
yafter
everythi
ngt hathappened.Itwasobv i
ousbythe
pict
urest hattheywerebothv erymuchi nlove.
Hisstupidexcusesabouthav ingtodivorceme
toprotectmewasal lli
es.Hej ustwantedto
fi
ndawayt obewi t
hJessica,andpl ayi
ngwith
myemot ionswasj ustoneoft hem.
Boni
arr
ivedandgav
emeahug 
Her
:I'
m sosor
rymyf
ri
end 
Me:
I'
m sopi
ssedathi
m
Her:
IphonedHlokest
oconfi
rmifi
twast
rue,
andhesai
dthatitwas100%tr
ue
Me:
wow
Her
:Iboughtuswi
ne 
Me:
Ibeaty
out
oit
Her
:damn 
Me:
itj
ustkeepsget
ti
ngwor
seandwor
se 
Her;Youknowwhattheysay.Ther
e’sal
way
s
l
ightattheendofat
unnel 
Me:
come,
let
'sgosi
tbyt
hepool
.
 
Wet
ookourwi
neandwentout
side 
Her
:canIbehonest
 
Me:
goahead 
Her
:Iexpect
edy
out
obewaymor
epi
ssed 
Me: what '
stheusechommy ?Siy aandIar e
div
orced.Hecandoandbewi thanyonehe
wantst obewi th.I’
m morepissedatmy sel
f.Do
youknowhowmanyt imesItoldmy selftoleav
e,
andIdi dn’
t.InsteadIl
ist
enedtohi sli
esov er
andov er.Andnowt hetr
uthi
sf inal
lyout,andit
sti
ngslikehel l
 
AsIwasspeaki
ngtoBoni
,myphoner
angagain.
Il
ookedatt
hecall
erI
DandsawitwasJason 
Me:
Jase
Hi
m:hey
,howar
eyou 
Me:
good.y
ou
Him:
justseenthepict
uresofSi
yabongaand
somechick.Iwant
edtomakesur eyou'
reok 
Me:
I'
mfi
ne 
Hi
m:doy
ouneedany
thi
ng 
Me:
not
hanky
ou 
Hi
m:canIseey
out
oni
ght
 
Me:
I’
m notexact
lygoodcompany
 
Hi
m;Idon’
texpecty
out
obe 
Me;
nextt
ime 
Hi
m;sot
her
ewi
l
lbeanextt
ime 
Me;I
’
m notmakinganypromisesJason.Right
nowIam r
ightbackt
osquareone,emotionall
y.
Somaybe,maybenot,whoknows 
Hi
m;wel
lthat
’sbet
tert
hanano 
Me;
Youhonest
lyneedt
ogi
veup 
Hi
m:notmyki
ndoft
hing 
Me: I
’m ser
iousJason.Idon’twantyouthi
nking
youandIcoul deverbeanythingmorethan
f
riends.IneedtogetoverthiswholeSiy
athing
f
irst,
beforeIcaneventhinkaboutmov i
ngon
Hi
m; Ri
fi
loe,
all
Iwantistoseeyouhappy.And
maybeI’
m nottheonetodothat
,butIdon’
tsee
whyyouarestr
essingy
oursel
foveramanwho
cl
ear
lyhasnodi
sregar
dfory
ourf
eel
i
ngs 
Me;
itsmor
ecompl
i
cat
edt
hant
hat
 
Hi
m;how 
Me;
Ilov
ehi
m 
Hi
m;i
knowt
hat
.Butdoeshev
aluet
hat
 
Me;
Jason
Him;Rif
il
oe,j
usthavefunwithy
ourli
fe.St
op
tr
yingsohardtobeperfect
.Gowil
dforonce.I
canpromiseyouitwon’tki
l
lyou
Me;buti
t’
sonl
ybeen2weeks.Myhear
tisn’
t
r
eady 
Him; y
ourhear
tlongsf
orhim.Igetthat.Butit
doesn’tmeanyoucan’
tgooutandenj oyyour
l
ife.Li
feisf
artooshor
ttobestressi
ngy oursel
f
aboutsomeguy  
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Hi
m;Ri
fil
oe,
I’m notl
ooki
ngtomarr
yyou
t
omorr
ow.Ijustwanttochi
l
landenj
oyl
if
ewi
th
y
ou.I
sthatsobad 
Me;
notexact
ly 
Hi
m;soi
l
lseey
out
oni
ght
 
Me;
may
be 
Hi
m;i
l
lpi
cky
ouupat6pm 
Me;
Idi
dn’
tsayy
es 
Hi
m;y
oudi
dn’
tsaynoei
ther
 
Me;
Jason 
Him;oh,andmakesurey
ouwearsomething
youdon’tmindget
ti
ngdi
rt
y.Li
keol
djeansand
sneaker
s
Me;
wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
ogety
out
oli
veal
i
ttl
e 
Me;
I’
vej
ustgothai
rdone 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
rel
ax.I
’
llseey
out
oni
ght

Iputdownt
hephoneandl
ookedatashocked
l
ooki
ngBoni

Her
;andnow?Who’
sthat
?
Me;
(si
gh)l
ongst
ory
 
Her
;I’
vegotal
lday
 
Me:Iusedtoworkwit
hhim.Ibumpedint
ohi
m
bef
oreIlef
tforQwaQwa.Ihaddi
nnerwit
hhi
m
l
astni
ght
Her
;ohGod.
 
Me;
what
 
Her;don’tyout
hinky oushoul
dtakethings
sl
owl y.Li
kehealfi
rstbefor
eopeningthis
chapter 
Me;it
snotl
i
kehi
m andIar
edat
ing.We’
rej
ust
chi
l
li
ng 
Her
;hashet
ri
edany
thi
ng 
Me;
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
) 
Her
;ohmyGod 
Me;
rel
ax.Idi
dn’
tsl
eepwi
thhi
m 
Her
;but
 
Me;
heki
ssedmel
astni
ght
 
Her
;washegood 
Me;
(chuckl
es)y
es 
Her
;bet
tert
hatSi
ya 
Me;Idon’
tthi
nkany
onecoul
dbebet
tert
han
Si
ya 
Her;
sohegetst
haty
oudon’
twanta
r
elat
ionshi
p 
Me;It
hinkhe’
salsonotl
ooki
ngforanyt
hing.He
pr
obabl
yjustwantssomeonetochi
llwi
th 
Her
;sof
ri
endswi
thbenef
it
ski
ndoft
hing 
Me;
nooooo 
Her;
well
,asyourf
ri
endIt
hinkyoushoul
dtr
ead
car
eful
l
y.ButIal
sothi
nkyoushoul
dgetoutand
havesomef
un.Imeanwhatcoul
dpossi
blygo
wrong
Me;
we’
l
lsee

Bonist
ayedt
il
lar
ound5pm,
thenl
eftsoIcoul
d
getr
eadytoseeJason

Iwasabi tnervousbutthenf i
guredIwouldput
myguiltaside.Iwasgoi ngtoembr acebei
ng
“f
ri
ends”wi thJason.Hewasr i
ght.Whybother
bei
nghungupov erSi
ya, whenhewasbusy
l
ivi
ngthelifewithJessica.

Itookaqui
ckshower,anddidn’
tbotherusi
ng
makeup,becauseJasonhadsaidImustwear
somethi
ngIdidn’
tmindgett
ingdir
ty.SoIdidn’
t
seethepoi
nt
Jasonarr
ivedatexact
ly18:
00pm.Itwasweir
d
seei
nghimi nj
eans.Ihadonl
yeverseenhi
mi n
hisfor
malclot
hes

Hi
m;heyy
ou 
Me;
hey
 
Hi
m;y
ourhousei
shuge 
Me;yaah.I
tusedt
obeSi
ya’
s,buthei
nsi
stedI
keepit
 
Hi
m;howmanym2 
Me;
about2000
Hi
m;wow 
Me;
sowher
ear
ewegoi
ng
Hi
m;i
l
ltel
lyoui
nthecar
 
Me;
cool
.Hopey
oudon’
tmi
ndt
hesecur
it
y 
Hi
m;notatal
l
JasonandIwal
kedt
ohi
scar
,andt
heguar
ds
fol
lowed

Me;
sowher
ear
ewegoi
ng 
Hi
m;opent
hecabi
n

IopenedtheCabinandther
ewasaplast
icbag
ful
lofdi
ff
erentcolor
edpowderandt
woticket
s

Me;
ohmywor
d 
Hi
m;hav
eyouev
erbeen 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;y
ouupt
oit
Me;
hel
lya 
Hi
m;(
phew)It
houghtIwoul
dhav
etodr
agy
ou 
Me;
howdidyougett
icket
s?Thesecol
or
f
est
ival
sar
ealway
ssold 
Hi
m;Iknowaguy
,whoknowsaguy
 
Me;
gosh,
Hi
m;soy
oudon’
tmi
ndget
ti
ngdi
rt
y 
Me;no.I
’
vewant
edt
ogotooneoft
hesef
oras
l
ongasIcanr
emember
 
Hi
m;good.Causewe’
renear
lyt
her
e

Whenwear ri
vedatthevenue,i
twasalready
j
am packed.Therewerepeopl
eeverywhere.
Theconcerti
tsel
fhadalr
eadystar
ted,butthe
mainactswereonlyst
arti
nginabout30mi n.

JasonandIhadt heti
meofourli
ves.Therewas
al
ldif
fer
entgenresofmusic.Weate,dr
ank,
l
aughedandthrewt hepowderev
erywhere.

Icoul
dn’
trememberwhenthelastti
meIhad
hadsomuchf unwas.Iwassocarefr
eeandI
l
ovedi
t.

Bytheti
meJasonandIlefti
twasal
readyaf
ter
01:
00am.Mycheeksandmyst omachwere
act
uall
ysor
efrom l
aughi
ng.

Jasondroppedmeathome,
andwal
kedmeup
thedr
iveway.

Me;
thanky
ouf
oragoodt
ime 
Hi
m;I
’
m gl
ady
ouenj
oyedy
our
sel
f 
Me;
Ireal
l
ydi
d
Hi
m;see.Idon’
tbi
te 
Me;
Idi
dn’
tsayy
oudi
d 
Him;sowoul
dyoubeupt
odoi
ngst
uffwi
thme
agai
n
Me;
Idon’
tseewhynot
Igav
eJasonahug,andwasr
eli
evedt
hathe
di
dn’
ttr
ykissi
ngme.

Helef
t,andIwenti
nsidewit
hthebiggestgr
in
ev
er.IwassogladthatIdi
dn’
tfeel
guilt
y.

Iwal
kedi
nthehouseandsti
l
led,
whenisaw
Si
ya'
smotherhal
fasl
eeponthecouch.

whatthefuckwasshedoingher
e?Shewas
honestl
ythelastper
soni
expect
edtosee.
[
05/
13,
21:
11]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

117

Seei
ngSi
ya’
smot
heri
nmyhouse,
pissedme
thehel
lof
f.Whydi
dn’tshecal
lmeandaskif
shecoul
dcome.Nxa,Ihonest
lywasn’
tint
he
moodforhercr
azi
nesstoday

Itookoffmysneaker
s,becausetheywereful
l
ofthepowder.Si
ya’
smot hermust’
veheardme,
becausesheopenedherey es.
 
It
ookadeepbr
eat
handwal
kedov
ert
oher

Me;
dumel
ama 
Her
;yebomakot
i.(
Yawn)Idi
dn’
theary
oucome
i
n 
Me;
Ijustar
ri
ved 
Her;andnowMakot
,what
’sal
loft
hisov
ery
our
cl
othes?
Me;
itspowder
 
Her
;whyi
sital
lov
ery
ou 
Me;
it’
sal
ongst
oryma.(
Clear
sthr
oat
)when
di
dyouar
ri
ve?
Her
;atar
ound7pm
Me;I
’m sor
ryIwasn’
ther
e.Iwasn’
tawar
ethat
youwerecoming 
Her
;putont
heket
tl
eweneedt
otal
kwomant
o
woman

Istoodupandwenttotheki
tchent
omaketea.
Ihonest
lydon’
tunder
standwhyshewasher
e.
Siy
aandIar edi
vor
ced.

He’
smov edonwi
thJessi
ca,
sowhywouldshe
beher
e?Sheshoul
dbeoutcelebr
ati
ngor
somet
hing 
Imadet
ea,
thenwentt
osi
twi
thSi
ya’
smot
her

Her
;I’
l
lgetst
rai
ghtt
othepoi
nt
Me;
canIgety
ousomet
hingt
oeat
?
Her
;not
hanky
ou.I
veal
readyeat
en 
Me;
ok 
Her;
whatishappeni
ngbet
weeny
ouand
Si
yabonga 
Me;
I 
Her;
becauseIspoketoy ouraunt,andshet el
l
s
mey ouguysar
enol ongertogether.Andthen
t
odayIseeSiyainthenewspaper swi t
hsome
t
iki
l
ani 
Me;ahmm ma,
hav
eyouspokent
oSi
yaabout
t
his 
Her
;he’
snott
aki
ngmycal
l
s 
Me;it
strueMa.Si
yaandIar
en’
ttoget
her
any
mor e 
Her
;whathappened?
Me;
hel
eftme 
Her
;why
 
Me;
somet
hingt
odowi
thhi
swor
k 
Her;
yazSiy abongaisstarti
ngtogetonmy
ner
ves.Whodoeshet hi
nkhei s?Hecan’
tmake
ussendal ettertoyourfamil
y,andt
henchange
hi
smi nd,
justl i
kethatnxa 
Me;
I’
m sor
ryma.
 
Her
;it
snoty ourf
aultKot
i.Butdon’
twor
ry.I
ll
sor
tSiyabongaout.Hedoesn’
tknowwhohe’s
messi
ngwi th 
Me;ma,It
hinkyoushoul
dleav
eit
.Si
ya’
smov ed
onwit
hhisli
fe.Maybei
t’
sti
mewealldothe
same 
Her;
overmydeadbody.Youhav
ebeennot hi
ng
butagoodwif
etohim,andnowheleavesyou
andgoestoGodknowswherewit
hthisbimbo. 
Me;
haai
,Idon’
tknowma 
Her
;wher
e’sy
ourphone

It
ookmyphoneoutofmypocket
Her
;phonehi
m
Me;
ma, shoul
dn’
twer
atherwai
tti
l
ltomor
row
mor
ning 
Her
;no

ThelookonSiya’
smothersf
acetol
dmenotto
arguewit
hher.Shewasfuming.Whi
chIdi
dn’
t
quit
eunderst
and,si
nceshehatesme

Idi
all
edSi
yaont
hatunknownnumber

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
now’
snotagoodt
ime 
Me;
yourmot
herwant
stospeakt
oyou 
Hi
m;mymot
her
? 
Me;
yes 
Si
ya’
smot
herbasi
cal
l
ygr
abbedt
hephoneout
ofmyhand

Her
;Si
yabonga.Whati st
hisnonsenseIhear?
Howdoyouleavey ourwif
eandgoacr ossthe
wor
ldwit
hthatdigesti
ngwoman 
Hi
m;ma,
canIphoney
ouback 
Her;NoSiyabonga.I
’v
ebeent
ryi
ngt ocall
you
forhowlong?Andy ouhav
en’
tbothered
phoningmeback 
Hi
m;ma 
Her;Li
stenher
eboy.Youruncl
esarecomingto
JHBonMondayf orafamil
ymeetingwit
h
Ri
fi
loe’
sf ami
ly
.Youbett
ermakesurethatyou
ar
eher e 
Hi
m;ahmmhMa,
Idon’
tthi
nk,
Icanmakei
t 
Her
;Si
yabonga,
didIasky
ouordi
dIt
ell
you 
Hi
m;But
 
Her
;yourf
athermustbet
urni
ngi
nhi
sgr
ave.
Youhav
eboughtsuchshamet
oourf
ami
l
y.
Si
esmanSiy
abonga 
Hi
m;Ma 
Her;Idon’
twanttohearit
.Youbett
ermake
sureyouareher
e.Otherwisehel
lwi
llf
reeze
over.I
’mtel
li
ngyou.NXA

Icoul
dn’tbel
ievewhatIwashearing.Si
nce
whenwast hereameetingbetweenmyf amil
y
andSiya’
sfamily?Si
ya’
smot hergavememy
phoneback

Her;
Weshoul
dgetsomesl
eep.I
t’
sbeenal
ong
ni
ght 
Me;
ma
Her
;wewil
ltal
kaboutt
her
estatt
hemeet
ing
onMonday
 
Me;
I’
ll
showy
out
oyourr
oom
IshowedSiya’
smot
hert
ooneofthespar
e
bedrooms,
andwenttomybedr
oom.

Iwasrat herconf
usedwithwhatwashappening.
MaNdhl ovuhadnev erl
i
kedme.Whywasshe
nowf i
ght i
ngtokeepSiyaandItogether
?Just
asIthoughtIcouldgetpassedSiya,her
ehe
wasbacki nmylif
e,andnowIwasgoi ngto
havetof acehimtellmehedoesn’twantme,i
n
fr
ontofhi sandmyf amil
y.It
’sasthoughIwas
bei
ngpuni shed.Ij
ustwishedIknewwhy

Iputmyclot
hesinablackplasti
cbag, soI
coul
dthr
owt hem away.Thenwentt oshower.I
wassoti
redfrom thel
atenightwithJason,
and
al
lIwant
edtodowasgetsomesl eep.

Af
termyshower
,Igotdr
essedi
nPJ’
sandt
ri
ed
getti
ngsomeshuteye.Ihadafeel
i
ngIwas
goingtoneedahi
tloadofener
gytodeal
with
Siy
a’smother.

Iwaswokenupt hefol
lowingmorningbySiya’
s
mot her
.Ifel
tli
ketel
li
nghertogetlost.Iwasso
exhaustedfr
om lastni
ght.Icoul
dreall
ydowi t
h
atleastanot
herhourofsleep

Her
;vukamakot
i.Wehav
elot
stodo 
Me;
wedo 
her;yes.Somef amilymembersar
ri
vet
odayfor
themeet i
ngt omorrow.Weneedtomakesur
e
thateveryt
hingIsready 
Me;
huh 
Her
;getr
eady
.Weneedt
ogetgoi
ng

Idr
aggedmy
sel
foutofbed,
andpr
ayedt
oGod
t
ogi
vemepati
ence.Thi
sfel
tli
kei
twasgoi
ng
t
obeal
ongday.

Itookaqui ckshowerandgotdressed.I
decidedtowearoneofmyMaxi dr
essesand
sandals.Ididn’
tfeel
comf or
tabl
ewearingpant
s
i
nf rontofSiya’
smot her
.

WhenIgotdownst
air
s,Mam Mar
thahad
f
ini
shedmakingbr
eakfast
. 
Irol
ledmyeyesatherandshelaughed.Ididn’
t
needtoexpl
aintoherwhyIwasannoy ed.She
al
readyknewitwasbecauseofmyunwant ed
guest 
IsatdownandatebreakfastwithSi
ya’smot
her
.
Shekeptgoingt
hroughthelistoft
hingswe
needtodo. 
Iwasn’
treal
l
ypay
ingat
tent
ion,
unt
ilshe
menti
onedsomet
hingt
odowi t
hLobola
Me;
sor
ryma,
Idon’
tthi
nkIhear
dyou 
Her;Iwassayi
ng,thatsi
ncey ouruncl
esand
Si
ya’suncl
eswill
beher e.Theymightaswell
st
artnegot
iat
ingLobola

Hebanna,thisol
dwomanwasof fi
cial
lyl
osi
ngi
t.
WhatpartofSiyaandIar
en’
ttogetherdi
dn’
t
sheunderstand 
Me;
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)ma,
Idon’
tthi
nk 
Her
;makot
i,don’
twor
ryI
ll
handl
eev
ery
thi
ng 
Me;
but

Myphonestart
edringing,
andthankf
ull
yitwas
myaunt.Hopeful
l
yshecoul dspeaksome
sensei
ntoSiy
a’smot her

Me;
Rakgadi
Her
;hi
Manana.Howar
eyou 
Me;
I’
m ok,
 
Her
;I’
mt r
yingt
ogethol
dofy
ourhusbands
mother
 
Me;
Myhusband?Rakgadi
 
Her
;Ri
fi
loe,
We’
l
ltal
kwhenIar
ri
vet
oni
ght
 
Me;
fine.

IgaveSiya’
smom myphoneandt ookmybowl
totheki
tchen.Nothi
ngthatwasgoi ngonwas
makingsense.Ihadjustspentsomucht ime
wit
hmyaunt ,tr
yingt
ogetov erSiy
a, andnow
hereshewascolludi
ngwi t
hhismot her.

Iwashedmybowl ,thenhelpedMam Martha

clearthet
abl
e,al
lthewhileSiya’
smotherwas
talki
ngtomyAunt
WhenSi ya’
smot herwasdone, shemademe
driveherall t
hewayt oJHB.Shewant edtogo
toKaMai Mai.Appar entl
ytheyhadallt
he
tradi
tionalthingswewoul dneed.Ideci
dedto
ratheruseSi ya’sjeep,becauseitl
ookedli
kewe
woul dneedt hebootspace.

Tjonna,I
’v
enevershoppedthismuchi nmyl i
fe.
Siya’
smotherwasbuyingt
hingsleft,
rightand
centr
e.Sheboughtgr
assmat s,Afr
icanbeer
potsandevensomebeading
Bytheti
meIgothomeIwasoveri
t.Thesun
wasblazi
ng,
andIwasti
redf
rom t
helackof
sl
eep. 
Theguar
dst
ookallt
het
hingswehadbought
andpl
acedt
hem i
noneofther
ooms. 
Si
ya’
smot
hercamet
owar
dswi
thanapr
on.

Her
;weneedt
ost
artbaki
ngsomescones 
Me;howaboutweor
derf
rom t
hebaker
yandI
gopickt
hem up
Her;nev
er.Weneedtoensuret
hatthesear
e
f
resh.Siy
alov
edfreshsconeswit
hJam

Il
etoutasi gh,andputtheapronon.Ihonest
ly
hadnoi deawhatSiya’
smot herwasplanni
ng.
ButIhonestlywasn’
tlookingforwar
dtothe
embar r
assmentofSiyat el
li
ngevery
onethathe
wasn’tint
erest
edinmeany more.

Siy
a’smothermadeusbakea20Lbucketof
scones,
whileshemadegi
ngerbeer
. 
Whenwewer efi
nall
ydone,myf eetwer
eso
swol
len.Ifi
gureditwasbecauseofbeingout
l
astnightandbeingonmyf eetalldayt
oday.
 
Aft
erdinner
,Iwentstr
aightt
omyr oom.I
wantedtosoakmy sel
finaniceworm bat
hand
j
usttakeintheevent
shappeningaroundme.I
wonderedwhereSi
yawas, andi
fhewas
comingtothi
smeeting?Ij
ustpr
ayedIwouldbe
abl
etokeepcalm,becauseIwassti
l
lsopissed
athi
m

Ist
ayedinthebathforov
eranhour,andt
hen
gotoutwit
hjustatowelwrappedar
oundme. 
IswearInearl
ydied,whenIsawSi y
asitt
ingon
thebed.Helookedsodamndesi r
able.Hewas
growingabeard,andhelookedsotanned.His
eyesmetwithmi ne,
andIsawat raceofasmi l
e,
butthenheregai
nedhishardposture

Me;
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m;Hi
Rif
il
oe,
Nicet
oseey
out
oo

Itr
iedwal
ki
ngpasthi
m,buthehel
dont
omy
hand 
Hi
m;Il
i
vet
hehai
rcut
 
Me;
letgo 
Hi
m;God,
I’
vemi
ssedy
ou 
Me;
Siy
adon’
t

Si
yastoodupandputhi
sar
msaroundmywai
st.
Heleanedi
nandki
ssedmyneck.

Mhmhmmmm

Me;
Siy
a,Pl
ease…….
.St
op

Hedidn’tstop,i
nsteadhemov edtomyearlobe.
Mynipplesimmedi atelyhardened.Iwantedhi
m
tost
op.Iwassomadathi m, andwantedan
expl
anation.Especial
lyafterhowhespoket o
me.ButohLor dSiyaandhi stonguewere
amazing.Hewasmaki ngmef eel
thi
ngsI
thoughtwer
edead.Ihadmi
ssedhi
stouchso
badly.
 
Butt
henhi
smotherwalkedinandr
uinedi
t.Si
ya
l
etgoofmeandstar
tedlaughi
ng

Her
;oh…ahmm sor
ryI
’
llcomeback 
Me;
No,
ma.Sor
ry.Thi
swasami
stake

Siya’
smot herjustturnedaroundandl eft
.Whil
e
Ilookedembar rassed.Ilef
thimthereandwent
tothecloset.Iwassopi ssedatmy self.Si
ya
hadliter
all
ywal kedallovermyheart,andhereI
wasl ett
inghim doashepl easesasifIhadno
controlovermyf ucki
ngbody .Nxanowonder
Siyathoughthecoul ddoashepl eases

Iquickl
ygotdr essed,t
henputmyt hi
ckrobe
overmy sel
f.Ineededt ocoverup,
because
cl
ear l
yIcouldn’tcont
rolmyself
.
Siy
awal kedinasIwasaboutt
owal
kout
,he
hadjusttakenashower
,andhadat
owel
wrappedar oundhi
m.

Hi
m;Iseemysi
deoft
hecl
oseti
sempt
y 
Me;
whatdi
dyouexpect
? 
Him;Iwashopi
ngy
ouwoul
dbemor
e
consi
derat
e 
Me;Si
yawhatareyoudoi
ngher
e?Whyar
en’
t
youst
ayi
nginfour
ways 
Hi
m;incasey
ouhav en’tnoti
cedmyMot heri
s
ont
hewarpath.Sheinsist
edIstayher
et oni
ght
 
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;I
’
vemi
ssedy
ou

Myphonestar
tedri
ngi
ng,soIwal
kedpassed
hi
m andwenttoansweri
t.Isawi
twasJason
anddecl
i
nedthecal
l.Thel
astt
hingIneeded
wastofi
ghtwi
thSiy
aaboutJason.

Hi
m;whoi
sthat

It
urnedar
oundandSi
yawasst
andi
ngbehi
nd
me 
Me;
Noone 
Hi
m;t
henwhydi
dn’
tyouanswer
 
Me;
whyar
eyougr
il
li
nmeaboutmycal
l
s?
Hi
m;I
tst
hatFuckerJason,
isn’
tit
?
Me;
Gody
ou’
ref
rust
rat
ing 
Hi
m;soy
ousl
eptwi
thhi
m 
Me;
fuckof
f 
Him;fuckinghel
lRi
fi
loe.Il
eav
efor2weeksand
you’
realreadyi
nhisbed.
Isl
appedSiy
aacrossthef
ace.Herehewas,
tel
l
ingmeshitaboutmesl
eepingwit
hJason.
Meanwhil
ehewasal l
thewayacrossthewor
ld
wit
hJessi
ca.

Me; don’tyoufucki
ngspeaktomeli
ket
hat.I
haven’tsleptwit
hanyone.Al
lIdi
dwasl
ethim
ki
ssme

Si
yat ookastept
owar
dsmeandIt
ookone
back.Heheldont
omyhandandmademeface

Hi
m;y
oudi
dwhat
Me; Si
yadon’
tstepuponmeli
kethat.YOUare
all
thewayacrosstheworl
dwi
ththewoman
whowant edmedead.Andnowyouexpectme
tosither
eandwaitfory
ourmi
racul
ousretur
n?
Si
ya’
sexpressi
ontoldmehewassuperpi ssed.
Thel
asttimeIhadseenhi mli
kethi
s,waswhen
wewer ei
nthedoctor’
soffi
ceandheknewI
wasplanni
ngonabor t
ing

Me;
Siy
a,y
ou’
rehur
ti
ngmyar
m 
Hi
m;howf
ardi
ditgo 
Me;
Siy
a,st
op.You’
react
ingl
i
kepsy
cho 
Hi
m;y
ou’
regoi
ngt
omakemegof
ucki
ngmad 
Me;
stooppp

Si
yal
etgoofmyhand.

Me;youdon’ tgett
ogoar oundbei
ngmadatme
f
orthisSiya.Notwhenyou’retheonewhofi
led
f
ordivorce,andrantoGodknowswher ewit
h
t
hatpoorexcuseofawoman.Whoy ouSLEPT
wi
thwhilewewer emarr
ied 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
it’
snotl
i
ket
hat
 
Me;
fucky
ouSi
ya
Hi
m;baby
,Iknowy
ou’
remad,
but
Me;noSi
ya.Justst
opwit
hthat.YouandIar
e
done,
andit
’shi
ghtimewebothcamet ot
erms
wit
hit
 
Hi
m;Ri

Siyawasaboutt osaysomet hi
ng,butthenhis
phonest ar
tedri
nging.Andasal wayshel eftme
thereandwentt oansweri t
.Ihadthoughtf or
oncehewoul dj
ustbeint hemomentand
concentrateonus,asalway sIwouldst ay2nd
i
nhi sli
fe.Thatwasnev ergoingtochange.No
mat t
erhowmuchIl ovedhim.Siyawasmar r
ied
tohisjob,andIwast i
redofbeinghi ssidechick.
[
05/
13,
21:
12]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
118

*
***
***
***
***
**SI
YA*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*

Iknewt hatRifi
loewasgoingtobepi ssedatme
foransweringt hi
scal
l.Butwiththewayt hings
areatthemomentIhadnochoi ce.Ij
ustwi sh
thi
swhol et hi
ngcouldend,sothatIcanbewi th
her.If
eel l
ikeI’
ml osi
ngher,andthatdidn’tsit
wellwit
hme

Me;
Bul
l
et 
Hi
m;Dudey
ouneedt
ogetoutoft
her
e 
Me;
what
’sgoi
ngon 
Hi
m;t
her
e’spi
ctur
esofy
ouent
eri
ngt
hehouse 
Me;
howi
sthatev
enpossi
ble
Hi
m;nocl
ue.Nai
l
sjustf
oundt
hem 
Me;
fucki
nghel
l
.I’
veonl
ybeenher
eanhour
 
Hi
m;exact
lywhyy
ouneedt
oleav
e. 
Me;
dude,
ifIl
eav
enow,
Rif
il
oewi
l
lnev
erf
orgi
ve
me 
Hi
m;i
fyoudon’
tleav
e,Ri
fi
loecoul
dgethur
t 
Me;
fucki
nghel
l
 
Hi
m;Ghost
.Now 
Me;
gett
hecar
sready
.I’
l
lbeouti
n5 
Hi
m;shar
p

Iputthephonedown, andletoutasi gh.How

wasIev ergoi
ngtothingsrightwi
t hRifi
loe?IfI
missthisfamil
ymeet i
ng,it
’sguaranteed,she
wil
lneverspeaktomeagai n.She’llt
hinki di
dn’
t
wanther,andthatwasal l
al i
e.Ij
ustlovedher
enoughnothav eherkil
l
ed

Iputont
hesamecl
othesIhadar
ri
vedi
n,and
wal
keddownst
air
s.Ineededt
otr
yspeakt
o
Ri
fi
loe.
 
Ifoundheri
nt helounge,wat
chi
ngTV.She
l
ookedsobeaut i
ful.Ij
usthat
eseei
ngherso
hurt.Andal
lbecauseofmeandt hi
sfucki
ng
Job. 
Iwal
kedt
oherandsatdownnextt
oher

Me;
canwet
alk 
Her
;dowehav
eto
Me;
itsi
mpor
tant

Shet
ookt
her
emot
eandputt
henewsonmut
e

Her
;I’
mli
steni
ng 
Me;
Ican’
tst
ayf
ort
hemeet
ing 
Her
;whyam Inotsur
pri
sed 
Me;
Rif
il
oe.I
tsnotl
i
ket
hat
 
Her;Siya,i
tdoesn’
tmatt
er.Justgobackt
o
Jessica,andletmebe 
Me;Rif
il
oe,
Thingsaren’
tast
heyseem.Pl
ease,
j
usttr
ytounderst
and 
Her
;By
eSi
ya

Isawat earescapehereye,andmyheartbr
oke.
Howi ti
sthatonewomancant akesomuch.
Shejustkeepstaki
ng,andIdon’tknowhow
muchmor eshecoul
dt ake 
Me; Il
ovey
ouRif
il
oe.I
’
venev
erst
oppedl
ovi
ng
you.Notever
Her;Love?Whatam Isupposedt odowi thLove
Siy
a?YourLOVEi scursed.Alli
tdoesisbr i
ng
mepai n.Myweightfl
uctuatesli
kecrazy.The
eyebagsundermyey eswon’ tgo,becauseI
spendhourscryi
ng.Iwakeupf eeli
nglikeshit
,
andgot obedfeel
ingwor se.HowisthatLov e
Si
ya?Tel
lme?Howi
sthatLov
e

Rif
il
oesquesti
ont ookmebysurpr
ise.How
couldIpossi
blyshowherIlov
eher,whenall
I
doismakehermi serabl
e? 
Me;
Rif
il
oe,
I’
mreal
l
ysor
ry.Ij
ust
 
Her
;st
opapol
ogi
singf
orf
all
i
ngoutofl
ove 
Me;
Rif
il
oe.Il
ovey
ou.Thatwi
l
lnev
erchange 
Her;thenquityourJob.We’
vegotallt
hemoney
i
nt heworld.Wecanl eav
eSAr i
ghtnow, and
neverlookback.Wecangosomewher ewher e
noonecanf i
ndus.Wecanl i
veourli
vesi n
peaceSiya.Allyouhavetodoistakethefir
st
step 
Me;
baby
,it
’snott
hateasy
 
Her;Si
yabonga,Justknowt
hatifyouwal
kout
thi
shouset oni
ght,
youcanneverandImean
evercom back 
Me;
Rif
il
oe 
Her;I
’m seri
ous.Ifyou’
regoi
ngtoleav
emeher e
wit
hy ourfamily.Thenknowthatwearedone.
Forgood.I’m goingtomoveonwi t
hmylif
e.I
won’twaitforyou
Me;
Rif
il
oe,
don’
tsayshi
tli
ket
hat
 
Her
;yout
hinkI
’
mjoki
ng?

Iwantedt
odiscusst
hisf
urt
her
,butt
henBul
l
et
phonedagai
n.

Her;y
oushoul
dgett
hat
.Wedon’
twantt
okeep
Jessi
cawai
ti
ng 
Me;
Itsnot
 
Her;
Idon’
twanttohearit
.Justgobackto
whatev
erholey
oucrawledoutof,anddon’
t
bot
hercomingbackher
e
Ri
fi
loe,
gotupandl
eftmet
her
e.Ther
ewas
honest
lynot
hingelseIcoul
ddo.Ihadl etmy
marri
agefal
lapart,
andmywor stnight
mar e
washappeni
ng.Rifil
oe,
wasslippi
ngoutofmy
handsandIcouldn’
tbeheretopreventit
. 
Igotupandwal
kedoutthehouse.Iwonder
ed
whenIwouldev
erseeRifi
loeagai
n.She
seemedsomad,Idoubtshewouldwant
anyt
hingt
odowithmeifIweretoretur
n

*
***
***
***
***
***
Rif
il
oe*
***
***
***
***
***
***

Il
eftSiyai nthelounge,andwentt obed.There
wasnousear guing,whenhehadal readymade
hi
sdeci sionov erandov eragain.Ihonestly
don’tknowwhatIwast hinki
ng.Si y
awoul d
neverleav ehisjobforme.Hel ovedittoomuch.
PlushehadJessi ca.SowhywasIhol dingout
hopet hatwewoul deverbet ogether.
Itr
iedfal
li
ngasleep,butsl
eephadtotal
l
yleft
me.Ijustwantedthiswholet
hingoverwit
h.I
wantedSiya’
smot heroutmyhouse.She
boughtmef akehope,andnowhereIwasback
atsquareone.Nxa

Iwokeupt hefol
lowingmor ningatf eel
ing
nauseousashel l.Ir
ant othebat hr
oom t othrow
up,buttherewasnot hingbringup.Ibr ushed
myt eethandputonmygown, anddeci dedto
getsomet hingtoeat.Ithi
nkt hestressoft he
l
astf ewweekswasj ustgetti
ngt ome

WhenIgotupstai
rsSi
ya’
smotherwascooki
ng
upastorm.Icoul
dsmellt
ri
beonthest
ove,and
thatal
onemademef eel
worse.

ME;
mor
ningMa 
Her
;Mor
ningMakot
i.What
swr
ong?Youdon’
t
l
ookt
ogood 
Me;
Idon’
tknow.Ij
ustf
eel
abi
tof
f 
Her
;I’
l
lmakey
ousomepor
ri
dge.Thatoughtt
o
makeyouf
eelbet
ter
 
ME;
don’
twor
ryabouti
tma.I
’
llmanage 
Her;wherei
sSiyabonga?I
’
m maki
ngt
ri
pe,
especi
all
yforhi
m.Iknowhowmuchhelovesi
t 
Me;
Siy
alef
tlastni
ghtma
Her
;I’
m conf
used?Lastni
ghty
out
woseemed
Ok 
Me;Ma, whatyousawwasamomentof
weakness.Siy
abongaloveshisJob,andhe
l
ovesJessica.Thati
sn’
tgoingtochange 
Her
;that
’snonsense.Si
yabongahasnor
espect
 
Me;
ma,
Ithi
nkweshoul
djustl
ethi
m be 
Her
;Noway s.Hei
sgoi
ngt
odoasIsay
.Notas
hepl
eases
Idon’tknowwhet heri
twasthesmell
oftri
pe,or
Siya’
smot hersbabbli
ng,
butIst
art
edfeel
ing
reall
yli
ghtheaded.Iti
edhangi
ngontothe
counter,butIwastooweak.

Her
;Makot
i,what
swr
ong?You’
vej
ustgone
pal
e 
Me;
mhmh

Si
ya’
smotherr
ushedt
omysi
de,
andwal
ked
metothel
ounge.

Shecal
l
edf
ormam Mar
tha,

Her
;weneedt
ogety
out
oahospi
tal
 
Me;
Ma.I
mfi
ne.It
hinkIj
ustneedt
olaydown 
Her;
makoti,
youar
epal
easev
er.Youneedt
o
seethedoct
or 
Me;
canIhav
eagl
assofwat
erpl
ease.

Mam Mart
ha,wenttogetmeabot
tl
eofwat
er,
andIdr
ankital
ldown.
 
Ihonestl
ydon’
tknowwhatwaswrongwi
thme.
Iwasfineyest
erday
,andt
odayher
eIam f
eel
i
ng
l
ikeshit
. 
Icouldfeel
thatt
hewat
erthatIj
ustdr
ankwas
goingtocomebackupagain.
 
Irant
ooneoft
hebat
hrooms,
andouti
tal
l
came.

If
eltsobadf
orSi
ya’
smot
her
.Shel
ookedso
worri
ed.
 
WhenIwasdone,Ir
insedmymouthwit
hmout
h
washandcl
eanedcl
eanedthet
oil
et.

Si
ya’
smot
herwasst
andi
ngt
her
elooki
ngatme
Her;
Goupstai
rsandr
est
.Il
lbr
ingy
ouy
our
br
eakfast
 
Me;
ma,
please.Don’
twor
ryaboutme.I
’
mfi
ne 
Her;noy
ou’
renot
.Noonej
ustbr
ingsupf
ort
he
sakeofi
t
Me;
Ithinki
tmightbefoodpoisoni
ngf
rom al
lof
t
hejunkIat
etheotherni
ght 
Her
;Ok,
Justgoupandr
est
.I’
l
lcomecheckup
onyoul
ater

Iwenttomyroom, andjustf
loppedonthebed.
If
eltsoweak,andthethoughtoffood,
just
mademef eelworse.
 
Igotbacki
ntomyblankets,
anddeci
dedtotr
y
gett
ingsomemoresleep.MaybewhenIwoke
upIwouldfeel
bet
ter.
 
Iwasj
ustdr
if
ti
ngbackt
osl
eep,
whenmyphone
start
edringi
ng.Ii
gnor
edit
,butwhoev
eritwas
persi
sted.SoIhadnochoi
cebuttoanswer

Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
Siy
a,notnow 
Hi
m; ar
eyouok?Mymom say
syounear
ly
f
aint
ed 
Me;
I’
mfi
ne.She’
sjustexagger
ati
ng 
Hi
m;y
oudon’
tsoundt
ogood 
Me;
bye

Icutthecall,
becauseIwashonestl
ybar l
ey
conscious.Ij
ustwantedt
osl eepi
toff,
and
tal
ki
ngt oSiyawasjustmakingmef eeleven
morewor sethanIalr
eadyfelt.
[
05/
13,
21:
13]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
119

Isl
eptf
oranother3hour
s.Iwokeupandf
eltso
muchbett
er.
Imadethebed,
andwentt
otakeashower.
Not
hingmakesyouf
eelmoreref
reshedt
han
wat
er.

WhenIwasdonewit
hmyshower
,Igotdr
essed,
t
henwentdownst
air
s.

Ihadhonestl
ytotall
yforgott
enaboutt his
meeti
ng.IexpectedSiya’smot hertocancel
.
ButwhenIgott othediningroom itwaspacked.
Whichwasabi tofashock, sincemydi ni
ng
room t
abl
ecoul dtakeupt o24peopl e.
 
It
urnedar
oundandwentbackdownst
air
s.I
neededadoektocov ermyhead.AndIwant ed
tospeaktoSi
ya.Idon’tunderstandwhythi
s
meetingwasgoi
ngf orward.Hehadmadehi s
choi
ce.Whywashi smot hertry
ingtofor
cethe
i
ssue?

Itr
iedSiy
abuthedidn’
tanswer
.It
ri
edhi
m
againandheansweredj
ustasi
twasgoi
ngt
o
voi
cemail

Hi
m;baby
 
Me;Si
yabonga,
whyi syourmotherst
il
lholdi
ng
thi
smeeti
ng?Ithoughtshewould’
vegivenup
bynow
Him;maybei
fyoucamedownst
air
syoucoul
d
f
indout
 
Me;
huh?
Hi
m;j
ustcomedown 
Me;
iml
ost
 
Hi
m;comedown

Idroppedthecal
l,andwal
keddownst
air
s.I
don’tgetwhySiy
asoundedsodamnhappy.

WhenIgotdownstai
rs,
Iwenttothel
ounge
i
nsteadoft
hedini
ngroom,becauset
hedini
ng
room wasf
il
ledwi
thmyunclesandSiya’
s
uncl
es.

IfoundmyAuntintheloungewit
hSiya’
s
mot her
.Theywer
etalki
ngandlaughi
ngas
thoughtheywer
eoldfri
ends

Me;
dumel
ang 
Theybothgreet
edme,
thencont
inuedwi
tht
hei
r
conver
sati
on. 
Idecidedt
oleavet
hem,andwentt
omake
my sel
fsomethi
ngtoeat
.Iwassohungr
y,I
couldeatadamnhorse.
 
WhenIent er
edthekit
chen,IfoundSi
yat
her
e
makingtea.Ipi
nchedmy sel
ftomakesureI
wasn’tdr
eaming
Him;t
hereyouare.Iwasst
art
ingt
othi
nky
ou
hadgonebacktobed 
Me;
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e 
Hi
m;Idon’
tgetaki
sshel
l
o 
Me;
Siy
a

Hemov edclosert
omeandgav
emeaki
ss.I
f
eltGoosebumpsdownmyback 
Hi
m;Icamef
ort
hemeet
ing.Whi
chi
sov
erby
t
heway 
Me;
wasn’
tIsupposedt
obet
her
e 
Hi
m;Idi
dn’
twantt
hem t
owakey
ou 
Me;soyout
oldt
hem t
het
rut
h?Aboutus
br
eaki
ngup 
Hi
m;Idi
dnosucht
hing 
Me;
whyt
hehel
lnot
 
Him;
becauseI
’
m notgoi
ngt
olosey
ou.Not
noworever
 
Me;
but
 
Hi
m; nobut
s.Todayweof f
icial
l
ypayedLobol
a
f
oryou.Youareoff
ici
all
yMr sNdhl
ovu 
Me;whatt
hef
uckareyoutalki
ngabout
?Why
woul
dyoudothatwi
thoutt
alki
ngtome? 
Hi
m; Il
oveyou.Youl
oveme.we’
realr
eady
marr
ied.Idi
dn’
tseeaneedt
owaky ouup 
ME; Si
ya,ar
eyoufucki
ngseri
ous?Weare
div
orced.Youwantedthat
.andnowal
lofa
suddenyouwanttobemar ri
ed 
Hi
m;y
es 
Me;
(chuckl
es)y
ouar
ehonest
lyonesmugson
ofabitch.Youthinkthatjustbecausey
ou
decideyouwantmeback, Iwi
lll
aydownand
playdead.Fucky ouSiya.Fuckyouandfuck
yourfucki
ngbullshit
 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,ourfami
l
iesar
eint
heot
herr
oom.
Keepyourvoicedown
Me;
nxa

Iwantedt
oleav
eSi
yat
her
e,butIwassohungr
y,
Ineededt
oeat

me;mov
e,Iwantt
omakemy
sel
fsomet
hingt
o
eat
 
Hi
m;Yourf
oodsi
ntheov
en
Me;
whati
sit
 
Hi
m;t
ri
pe 
Me;
not
hanks 
Hi
m;si
ncewhendon’
tyoueatt
ri
pe?
 
Me;
I’
m noti
nthemood 
Hi
m;sowhatar
eyoui
nthemoodf
or?
Me’
;abur
ger
Hi
m;y
ou?Bur
ger
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;i
l
lor
derf
ory
ou 
Me;makesur
eithasl
otsofbakon,
andav
o.Oh
andl
argef
ri
esandacoke 
Hi
m;Yousur
eyou’
reok?
 
Me;No,i
m act
ual
l
ypi
ssedaty
ou.Butr
ightnow
al
lIwanti
stoeat

It
ookthecupoft
eahewasmaki ngandhadit
wi
thsomescones.Ineededsomet
hingwhi
l
eI
waitf
ort
hefoodtoarri
ve.
 
Especi
all
ysincemybodywascrav
ingwine.But
unfor
tunat
elyformemyhousehadbeentaken
overbySiyaandhisdamnf
amil
yNxa
Siyawasbusystar
ingatmesmi
l
ingl
i
ket
he
fooli
shi
diothei
s

Me;
what
 
Hi
m;not
hing 
Me;
you’
rebei
ngcr
eepy
. 
Hi
m;Ij
ustr
eal
i
sedhowmuchIl
ovey
ou 
Me;wel
ltoobad,
causeIcan’
tseem t
ost
and
you
Hi
m;well
,you’
restuckwit
hmef orl
ife.You
mi
ghtaswellgetusedtothi
sface 
Me;i
nyourdr
eams.AssoonasI
’
veeaten,
I’
m
put
ti
nganendtot
hiswhol
echar
adeofyours.
 
Hi
m;howso 
Me; I’
m goi
ngtomakesur emyunclesgi
veyour
familybackyourmoney.Thisshoul
d’
vebeen
discussedwit
hmef i
rstSiya 
It
ookmycupandri
nsedit
.If
eltSi
yawr
aphi
s
ar
msaroundmefr
om behi
nd.

Hi
m;I
’
m sor
rybaby
.Ishoul
dhav
enev
erl
eft
 
Me;buty
oudi
d.Andnowt
her
e’snot
urni
ng
back 
Hi
m;baby
.It
’snear
lyov
er.Justbearwi
thme
f
orafewmoreweeks 
Me;
No 
Him;t
hisi
smylastmi
ssi
on.Af
tert
his,
it’
sjust
youandme.Nomorefor
ce 
Me;
that
’swhaty
ousai
dthel
astt
ime 
Hi
m;Iknow.Butt
hist
imei
t’
sdi
ff
erent
 
Me;
howso 
Hi
m;Icantsay
 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;butbaby
 
Me;
mov
etu.
. 
Hi
m;y
ou’
remywi
fe.I
tsmur
ightt
otouchy
ou 
Me;
andJessi
ca?
 
Hi
m;she’
snotaf
act
or 
Me;
yesshei
s 
Hi
m;oncet
hisi
sal
lov
er.Iwi
l
lexpl
ain
ev
ery
thi
ng 
Me;
no.Iwantanexpl
anat
ionnow 
Hi
m; Ican’
ttel
lyouev
ery
thi
ng.ButIwi
l
ltel
lyou
t
his 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;t
urnar
ound

It
urnedar
ound,
andf
acedhi
m 
Hi
m;we’
rest
il
lmar
ri
ed 
Me;
huh?
Thedi
vor
cewasnev
erf
inal
i
sed 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;shhhh.We’l
ltal
kaboutthi
stoni
ght
.For
nowcanwej ustbehappythatLobol
a
negot
iati
onswentwell 
Me;
But

IwantedtoaskSi
yamor
equest
ions,
butmy
auntwalkedi
n

Her
;(cl
ear
sthr
oat)sor
ryt
oint
err
upt
.ButIneed
awordwit
hRif
il
oe 
Si
ya;
Il
lgi
vey
ousomespace

Si
yaki
ssedmeont
hecheek,
andl
eft

Her
;howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me;
muchbet
tert
hanky
ou 
Her
;I’
m gl
adt
oseey
ouadSi
yaar
ehappy
 
Me;Rakgadi
.I’
m notsur
ewhatSiy
at ol
dyou.
Butwearealongwayf r
om bei
ngtoget
her 
Her
;butt
heypai
dLobol
atoday
 
Me;
thatwasami
stake 
Her
;HowRi
fi
loe?
 
Me;
can’
twegi
vei
tback
Her
;agai
n?Rif
il
oehaamaan.Youcan’texpect
ust
ogot hr
oughthi
sagai
n.Youchosehim
Me;
but
 
Her;
butnot
hing.I
tst
imeyoustart
edbehavi
ng
l
ikeawif
e.Noonewillber
etuni
nganyt
hing

Myauntlef
tmet her
efeel
i
ngannoyed.Why
coul
dn’
tshejusther
emysideofthestor
y.

Si
yacamebackandgav
ememyf
ood.It
ook
t
hef
ood,
andwentupst
air
svi
athel
ounge.
 
Ihadn’
treal
izedthatSi
yawasf
oll
owi
ngme,
til
lI
tur
nedtoclosethedoor

Hi
m;t
houghtIwol
dsi
ther
ewi
thy
ou 
Me;
wheni
sev
ery
onel
eav
ing 
Hi
m;soon
Me;
incl
udi
ngy
our
ight
 
Hi
m;y
ouwantmegone 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;butRi
fi
loeIl
eftev
ery
thi
ngIwasdoi
ngj
ust
t
obeherewithy
ou 
Me;
soy
ouexpectadanceorabal
l
oon
Hi
m;no,
justal
i
ttl
eunder
standi
ng 
Me;
takey
ourunder
standi
ngandshov
eitup 
Hi
m;Yoh,
Ifor
gothowst
ubbor
nyoucanbe 
Me;
voet
sekSi
ya.
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
 
Me;
got
ohel
l
 
Him;babypl
easestoplashi
ngoutatme.Iknow
you’
remadatme, butI
’
mt r
yingher
e 
Me;
whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
meaboutt
hedi
vor
ce 
Hi
m;I
t’
sfory
ourowngood 
Me;
how
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
theonlyreasonI’
m hearisbecause
Il
oveyou.Andthatwewer eluckywegota
br
eak.Other
wise,Iwouldsti
l
l needt
obei n
Port
ugal
Me;
Por
tugal
Hi
m;l
ongst
ory
 
Me;
ever
ythi
ngi
sal
ongst
orywi
thy
ou 
Hi
m; Iknowit
’sconfusi
ng.ButIneedyoutojust
t
ryunderst
andingthatev
eryt
hingI’
vedoneis
f
orus.Ipromise
Ididn’
tanswerSiy
a,i
nst
eadsatont
hebedand
atemybur ger
. 
Siy
atookofhi
sshoesandsatnextt
ome.He
keptl
ooki
ngatmeasIate

Me;
mhmhh 
Hi
m;swal
l
owf
ir
st 
Me;
what?
 
Hi
m;ar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
oshar
ewi
thme 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;Haw,
baby
 
Me;
I’
m noty
ourbaby
Him;yesyouar
e.Whi
chi
swhyy
oushoul
d
shar
ewi t
hme

IgaveSi
yat
herestofmyfood,
andi
mmedi
atel
y
star
tedf
eel
i
ngnauseousagai
n. 
Irant
othebathr
oom,
andoutcameal
lthef
ood
Ihadj
usteat
en. 
WhenIwasdone,
Ibrushedmyt
eet
handwent
backt
osi
twit
hSiya

Hi
m;y
ouneedt
ogot
othedoct
or 
Me’
;st
opt
ell
i
ngmewhatIneedt
odo
Hi
m;y
ourst
ubbor
nnessi
sannoy
ing 
Me;
thendousbot
haf
avourandl
eav
e 
Hi
m;nott
il
lweseeadoct
or 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;It
hinky
ou’
repr
egnant
 
Me;
I’
m not
 
Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;
I’
m not
 
Hi
m;ok.Iwasj
ustsay
ing 
Me;
stopannoy
ingme
Hi
m;doy
out
hinki
t’
saboyorgi
rl

Ihi
tSi
yawi
thapi
l
low

Me;i
tsnei
ther.Ther
esnowayGodwoul
d
puni
shmelikethat
Hi
m;t
hatact
ual
l
yhur
t 
Me;
shame 
Hi
m;pr
ovemewr
ong 
Me;
how 
Hi
m;t
akeapr
egnancyt
est
 
Me;
Im notpr
egnantSi
ya 
Hi
m;It
hinky
ouar
e 
Me;
nothappeni
ng 
Hi
m;sot
henpr
ovemewr
ong 
Me;
ifi
tsnegat
ivey
ouhav
etopr
omi
set
oleav
e 
Hi
m;andi
fit
sposi
ti
ve?
Me;
youl
eav
e 
Hi
m;t
hat
’snotf
air
 
Me;
yesi
tis 
Hi
m;howaboutwej
ustt
aket
het
estandl
eav
e
t
hedeal
 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;pl
ease 
Me;no.becauseeveni
fIam pr
egnant
.Il
lbe
hav
inganabor t
ion

Si
ya’sfaceimmediatel
yhar
dened.IknowI
wasn’tser
ious.Hel
lIwasn’
tevenpregnant
.But
helookedreadytokil
lme
Hi
m;y
our
eal
l
ywantt
oannoyme 
Me;
doIl
ookl
i
keIcar
e 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
Iam her
e.Wher
eyouwant
edmet
o
be.WhatmoredoIhavet
odo

Ilookedatt hiscrazy,
stupidmot herf
ucker
sitt
ingnextt ome, andIfeltli
kebeati
ngt heshi
t
outofhi m.Siyawashonest l
ysodamnsel fi
sh.
Hel ies,
andcheat sanddoesal lki
ndsofshit,
andwhenhedeci dedhewant stocomeback,
I’
m supposedt othrowaf uckingpart
y.Wellnot
thistime.ThistimeIwast i
red.Iwasn’tgoi
ngto
j
ustl ethim comeandgoi nmyl ifeashe
pleases.
[
05/
13,
21:
13]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

120
*
***
***
***
***
***
**SI
YA*
***
***
***
***
***
***
IknowdeepdownRi f
il
oewasj usttry
ingt opiss
meof f,butidon'ttakeli
ghtlytohertalking
aboutabor t
ion.IknowI '
m notperfect,andt hatI
havereallyhurther,butifsheisinfactpr egnant
,
Iwouldbeov erthemoon.Soherpl ayi
ngabout
suchat opicwasj ustannoy i
ngashe' l
l.
Especiall
yafterwhathappenednotsol ong
ago. 
Istoodupandt ookt
heplat
estotheki
tchen.I
knewIwasgoi ngtoendupsayi
ngsomet hi
ngI
wouldregretmossoit'
sbet
tert
ojusti
gnoreher
crazyoutburst
s 
WhenIgotdownst ai
rs,t
hefamili
eswere
getti
ngreadytoleave.TheyaskedaboutRif
il
oe
andIt ol
dthem shewasr est
ing.Myuncles
wereabi tdi
sappoint
ed.Theywant edtomeet
her,especi
all
ysinceshehadsetmebackR100
000.00butItoldthem I
'dbri
nghert oKZN
beforethewedding. 
Mymot
herandRi
fi
loesauntwentt
osay
goodby
etoRi
fi
loe.Whi
l
eIwal
kedmyuncl
e'
s
out.
 
Iwasr eallygladIwasabl etoat tendt he
meet i
ng.I tj
ustgoest oshowst hatRi f
il
oeandI
weremeantt obe.Oneofouropst eam in
Portugalwasabl et ogetat i
pof fofwher eone
ofFernandezassoci ateswer ehi di
ng.They
wereabl et oarresthi m, whichsentFer nandez
furt
herint ohidi
ng.Hemayhav ehadt heupper
hand.Butwi thusar restingthisguy , nowmeant
i
twasonl yamat teroft ime, ti
ll
wef oundhi m.
Soal li
nal lmypl anofusi ngJessi cahad
workedqui t
ewel l sofar.All weneededt odo
wasgett hisguyt oS. A..I'
m sureaf teraf ew
daysoft or t
urehewoul dsingl i
keacanner y.So
forthenext48hour s.Icoul dbeher ewi t
h
Rif
il
oe, andhopef ull
ywecoul dsomehowf i
nda
wayt oco- habit
at.Becauset hewayIseei t
,she
i
sgoi ngt ohav emyhead.  
Aft
erev
eryonehadlef
t.Igav
eMam Mar t
haand
Thembit
henightof
f.I
'm sur
etheywer
ealso
ti
red.Pl
usital
someantt
heywoul
dn'
twi
tness
Rifi
l
oetryi
ngtoki
l
lme
Iwentbackupstair
sandt r
iedopenringour
bedroom door,
butRifil
oehadlockedit
.Thi
s
washonest l
ygoingtobethelongest48hours
ofmyl i
fe.Andobviousl
ywewer eofftoabad
star
t. 
Me:
Rif
il
oe,
opent
hedoor
Her
:gosl
eepi
nthespar
ebedr
oom 
Me:
haanaRi
fi
loeman.Vul
a 
Her
: hakebat
le.Got
othespar
ebedr
oom,
or
bet
teryetgot
oJessi
ca 
OhGodnott hisagain.Ifonl
ysheknewJessi ca
wasi nprisonina4by4cel l
.Theykepther
theresoIwoul dn'tbeabletogetmyhandson
her.Becauseal lIwantedwast oputabul l
et
throughherhead.ButIcoul dn'
texactlytel
l
Rifi
loethat.Becauseshouldsomet hinghappen.
Fernandezneedst obeli
evethatJessica
bet
rayedhim.Ofwhi
chhewil
lcomeaft
erher
,
andintur
nIwill
beabl
etocaptur
ehi
m.
Me:
baby
,vul
aumny
angot
u
Her
:Si
yagoaway
Iwasabouttobreakdownthedoor
,whenshe
cameoutlooki
ngallsor
tsofcut
e 
Me:
uyaphi
?
Sheignoredme,andtr
iedwal
ki
ngpassedme.
ButIblockedherway
 
Me:
ngi
khul
umanaweRi
fi
loe.Uy
aphi
Her
:mov
e 
Me:
nott
il
lIgetananswer
 
Her
:JasonandIar
egoi
ngout
 
Me:
outwher
e 
Her
:kar
aokebari
nCr
aighal
l
Tj
o,IknowIhadhurtRi
fi
loe.LikeIknowI
cr
ushedhercount
lesst
imes, butf
orhert
ost
il
l
wanttogooutwi
ththi
sfucker
,af
terev
ery
thi
ng
t
hat'
shappenedt
oday,amazedme. 
Whati
fshehaddevel
opedf
eel
ingsf
ort
hisguy.
HowdoIcompetewit
hsomeonewhoisnormal
?
WhenI
,sofuckedup?
 
Me:
baby
Her
:don'
twai
tup.
 
Shetriedgoinglef
t,butIblockedherway.Iwish
Rif
il
oeunder st
oodhowhar dIwast r
yingt
o
controlmytemper.Theagenti nmewant edto
sl
apt heshitoutofher ,
buttheSiyai
nmel oved
hertoomucht oev erlayahandonheragai n
Me:(si
gh)Ri
fi
loeimamaan.Thi
sthi
ngy
ou'
re
t
ryi
ngtodoisgoingtodr
ivememad 
Her
:doy
ouhonest
lyt
hinkIcar
e 
Me: Ri
fi
loe.I
'
m here.Howareyougoi
ngt
oleave
yourhusbandhere,andgoofft
osomebarwit
h
aguywhowant sy ouforhi
mself
 
Her
;haw,
soy
oucandowhaty
ouwant
,but
whenIdoi
tthennaI
'
m wr
ong 
Me:
sot
hisi
spay
back 
Her:
not hi
sisMel i
vi
ngli
fewi
thouty
ou.Why
don'
tyourathergobackt
oyourjobt
hatyou
l
ovesomuch, andl
etmegooutandenj
oy
myself
Me:Rifi
loehav
esomer
espect
.I'
myour
husband 
Her
:respecti
searnednotdemanded.HowdoI
r
espectyouwheny ouhadnor espectf
orme?
HuhSiya.Whenyouwentof fandshaggedthat
f
ucki
ngbi t
ch.Whoy outhenflauntedal
lar
ound
me?Huhwher ewast herespect 
Me: maybei
fyoustoppedwi
ningl
i
keafucki
ng
chi
ld,Iwoul
dn'
thav
egot t
ent
emptedt
osleep
wit
hher
Rif
il
oet
ookast epback,andtookadeepbreat
h
i
nandout.IhavenoideawhyIsaidthat.I
t'
snot
l
ikeImeanti
t.Butatthi
sstageIhadjust
of
fi
cial
l
ylostmyt
emper,
andinst
eadofusi
ng
mybrai
n,Il
etmyemot
ionst
akeov er
 
Her;
makesur
eyouar
egonebyt
het
imeIget
back
Me:ohsoyou'
renotsl
eepi
ngov
eraty
our
boy
fri
end'
shouse
Her:no,becauseunli
keyouIdon'
tgoaround
sl
eepingwithanypieceoftr
ashthatcomesmy
way.Nomat t
erhowmuchy ounag 
me:Ri
fi
loeyouknowwhat.Go.Gobewiththat
l
oser
.Gohav eanicel
i
feok.I
'm si
ckofhav
ing
t
obegy ou 
Herf
ine 
Me:
fine
Rifi
loepushedmeoutt hewayandwal kedaway .
IknowwhatIhadsai dwaswr ong,butIjust
didn'tgetwhyshei
nsistedongoingtoseethis
Jasonguy . 
Il
ookedoutt
hewi
ndowandsawherdr
ivi
ng
away .Iwassotempt edtohavemor ethan2
guardsfoll
owi
ngher .ButIknewthatwoul dj
ust
causemor eproblems.Imightaswel l
justgo
stayatthehousei nf
ourways.Thelastthi
ngI
neededwast ofightwithRi
fi
loeagain.
 
*
***
***
***
**Ri
fi
loe*
***
***
**
Idrov eoutthehousef eel
ingbey ondpissed.
Siyahadnor ighttoexpectmet obemi ss
perfect.Especi al
lyaft
erev erythi
nghehaddone.
Idon' tunderstandhowhet hi
nksI '
mj ustgoing
tost oplivi
ngmyl if
e.Justbecausehedeci des
hewant stocomeback.Wel l
that '
snothowi t
wor ks.Iam goi ngtodome.W heat herwe'r e
mar riedornot .Inmyey esIwassi ngle,andI
plannedonenj oy i
ngittothef ull
est. 
Igottothebari
nlessthan20min.Thecart
hat
Siy
ahadboughtmer odel
ikeadr
eam.
Especi
all
yonthehighway.
 
Ispott
edJasonandoneofhisf
ri
endsata
nearbytabl
e.Jasonst
oodupwhenhesawme.
Hegav emeaki ssont hecheek,andintroduced
met oNick.Ni
ckturnedouttobeJason' sgay
fri
end.Hewassoext ra,andimmedi atel
yloved
him.Hissenseofhumourandj okes,hadme
forget
ti
ngaboutSiya.Especi
allywiththe
str
awberrydai
quiri
sIwashav ing. 
Itf
eltsogood,toj
ustl
etlooseandenj
oymysel
f.
Itwasnicetobewithnor
mal peopl
ewhohad
normal j
obs,
anddidn'
thavetolookov
ert
hei
r
shoulder
severyminut
e 
Istayedatt hebar
,forawhil
ethendecidedit
wast i
met ogohome.Iwasalreadyonmy4t h
daiquir
i,andIthi
nktherum wasstart
ingtoget
tome.al lIwantednow,wastohav eagood
night’
ssleep. 
Ibi
d,JasonandNickgoodbye.Jasonwantedto
dri
vemehome, butIt
oldhim Iwasgood.Ilet
oneoftheguar
dsdriv
emei nstead.
 
WhenIgottothehouse,
Iimmediatel
yfelt
heav
y.Ipr
ayedSiyahadlef
t.Iwassotir
edof
bei
ngangr
yandsad.Ijustwant
edmyhouse
backt
omy sel
fagai
n. 
Ilookedaround,andasf at
ewouldhaveit,Si
ya
wasn'tar
ound.It ookaquickshower,
andwent
tobed.Icouldfeelthenauseacomingalong,
andIhopedbymeget t
ingint
obed,Iwouldbe
abletoavoidit
.

Iwokeupnexttomorni
ng,andgott hefri
ghtof
myli
fe.Si
yawassit
ti
ngonachai rfacingme.
Hehadabottl
eofHennesseyinhishandwhi ch
wasnearl
yempty.
 
Me:
Siy
a,whatt
hef
uck 
Hedi
dn'
tanswerme.I
nst
eadhet
ookasi
pfr
om
hi
sbot
tl
e 
Me:
younear
lygav
emeahear
tat
tack

Igotupandhadoneoft hosedi
zzyspel
l
s.I
i
mmedi at
elysatbackdown
Hi
m;soweredr
inki
ng?Despi
tet
hef
actt
haty
ou
mi
ghtbepr
egnant 
Me;Siya,
wher edoy ougett
hisi
deaofyour
s?
I
’m notpregnant.Iknowmybody.I
fIwas
pr
egnantIwoul dknow 
Hi
m;y
our
eal
l
ywantt
ogetonmyner
vesne

IcouldseeSi y
awasr eal
l
ypissed.NotthatI
carethough.AsfarasIwasconcer nedhe
couldgotot henear
esthell
. 
Icoveredmy
sel
fwit
htheduvet
,andtr
ied
gett
ingsomemoresl
eep.Si
yawasbeing
annoyi
ngandIdi
dn’
tfeel
li
kedeal
ingwit
hhi
m 
Si
yast
oodupandmov
edt
hecov
ersof
fofme

Me;
Siy
aman 
Hi
m;Vuka,
siy
akudokot
ela 
Me;
I’
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e 
Hi
m;y
azuy
angi
casul
a.Vukasi
hambe

IwassonotusedtoSiyaspeaki
ngi
nZulu.I
t
wasobv i
oushewaspissed,
andobvi
ousl
ythe
Hennesseywasget
ti
ngt ohi
shead.
 
Idon’
tknowwhy
,butIj
ustbur
stoutl
aughi
ng.

Hi
m;what
’ssof
unny
 
Me;
not
hing 
Hi
m;cany
ouj
ustgetr
eadysowecango 
Me;
Si

Si
yastoodupandt hr
ewt hebot
tl
eagai
nstt
he
wal
l.Igotsuchafr
ight.Thesmi
rkonmyface
i
mmedi at
elydi
sappeared.
 
Si
yacamet
owar
dsmeandIj
umpedoutofbed.
Ther
ewasnot
ell
i
ngwhathewasgoi
ngt
odo 
Him; canyouj
ustdoasy
ou’r
etol
d.Foronce
Rifi
loe.Whydoyoual
wayshavet
obeso
fuckingst
ubbor
n? 
Ididn’tdar
esayany
thi
ng.Iwasj
ustgr
atef
ul
thatthebedwasbetweenus
Him;I’
m get
ti
ngsi
ckofthi
sshit
.Ri
fi
loe.Can
youj
uststopwant
ingt
obet hemaninthis
r
elat
ionshi
p. 
Me;rel
ati
onship?Whatrelat
ionshi
pSiya?I
n
caseyouforgotyouputanendt o“our
”
rel
ati
onshi
p.YouandIar en’
ttoget
her.
 
Hi
m; Ihav
etr
iedcount
lesst
imest
oexpl
ain
Ri
fi
loe.
Me;expl
ainwhat
?Thaty
oul
ovey
ourJobmor
e
t
hanme?
Him;soy
oudat
ingt
hisi
diot
,isj
ustt
ogetback
atme 
Me;
fort
hemi
l
li
ont
hti
me.I
’
m notdat
ingJason.
He’
smyfr
iend.Nothi
ngmor
e.Nott
hati
thas
any
thi
ngt
odowi thyou 
Hi
m;ithasev
ery
thi
ngt
odowi
thme.You’
remy
wi
fe 
Me;
youneedt
oleav
e
Hi
m;I
’
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e.Thi
sismyhouse.
 
Me;
int
hatcaseIwi
l
lleav
e

Iwant edtogogetdr essed,butIknewi fI

walkedpassedhi m, hewouldstopme.Thi s
fi
ghtingwashonest l
ygetti
ngti
ring.Nomat ter
howmuchIpul ledaway ,Si
yakeptpushi ng
hi
msel fi
ntomyl i
fe.I’
vetol
dhimt oleavea
mill
iont i
mes,andeacht imehedoest he
compl eteopposit
e. 
Ilovehim somuch,buthehadnor
egardsfor
myf eel
i
ngs.Hedoeswhathewant
sandt hen
thinksI’
m goi
ngtojustwel
comehi
m backwith
openar ms.
Hi
m;y
ouar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
e 
Me;
andwhynot
 
Hi
m; becausethelastt
imeyoulef
t.Youwent
dr
inki
ng.Forgett
ingyoumightbepregnantwi
th
mychild 
Me;
ohGodSi
ya,
nott
hatshi
tagai
n
Hi
m;Ngi
zokushay
aNgempama,
yazRi
fi
loe
Me;
gor
ightahead.

Siyawalkedar
oundt hebed,andmyhear t
start
edbeati
ng.Iwanttogot otheothersi
de
buthewast ooquick.Imovedback,unti
lmy
backmett hewall
.Therewasnowher etorunto
runto.

Siyawasstandingsocl
osetome, Icoul
dsmel
l
theHennessey.Imustbehonest
.Seeinghi
m
thi
spissed,kindoft urnedmeon.Hi sv ei
ns
wereenlargedt oamaxi mum.Hi sey eswerered
andhisshirtwasn’tt uckedin.Hel ookedever
y
i
nchoft hegangst erhepl ayed,andt hatmade
mewanthi m evenmor e.Especial
lysinceI
knowI’mt heonl ypersonwhogethi m sohot
andbothered, andthatIcancool him downwith
j
ustoneki ss

Him;whydoy oudothi
smama?Whydoy ou
del
iber
atel
ychall
engeever
ythi
ngIsay
? 
Me;becauseI
’my ourwi
fe.Notoneofy
our
i
diot
sont hef
orce 
Him;t
hatmout
hofy
our
scangett
omuch
someti
mes 
Me;
may beyoushoul
dputt
hismout
hofmi
ne
t
obett
eruse 
Hi
m;mhmm
Si
ya,
punchedt
hewal
landIsmi
l
ed,
becauseI
knewhewasdebat
ingonwhatt
odo.

Il
eanedi n,
andputmylipsonhis.Iwasn’t
goingtodoanymore.I
twasnowal l
upt ohim.
Si
yadi dn’
tmove.Hekepthiseyesgluedtome.
Hisbreathi
ngwassti
lli
ntense,
butthatwas
nothi
ngcompar edt
ointensi
tyofthi
smoment .

Siya,star
tedki ssi
ngme, andIknewIwas
forgiv
en.Iexpect edthi
stobeni ceandsl ow.
Sinceitwasourf i
rstti
mei nsolong,butinstead
wewer ebot hli
ketwodogsonheat .Si
yawasn’ t
exactlypatienteit
her.Hepickedmeupandput
meont hebed.It ri
edtakingofhisshir
t,buthe
washav i
ngnoneofi t
.Allhewantedwast o
hav eme, andIsur eashellwantedhimjustas
bad.

Whenwewer
edone.Webot
hlayont
hebed
pant
ing.Iwassooutofbr
eathi
twasn’
tfunny
.
Si
yawassweat i
ngandhadthebi
ggestgri
non
hi
sface

Me;
wipet
hatdamngr
inof
fyourf
ace 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)
 
Me;
Ithi
nky
ouhur
tmynuna 
Hi
m;ser
vesy
our
ight
 
Me;
mxm

Igotupandwentthebathr
oom.Ineededani
ce
l
ongshower,becauseIwascov
eredinsweat
.

AsexpectedSiyacametojoinme.Iwasn’tsur
e
whereheactuall
ystoodwit
hme.It hi
nkIjust
madet hi
ngswor sebysl
eepingwi
thhim.Now
heprobablythi
nkswearebacktogether
,andI
wasn’texact
lysurei
fIwantedtocommit
my
sel
ftobei
ngmar
ri
edt
ohi
m.
[
05/
14,
11:
42]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

121

IleftSiyaintheshower ,andwentt oget

dressed.Iwasst ar
tingtof eelreal l
yl owf or
sleepingwi thhim.WhatwasIt hinki ng?Idon’ t
knowwhathappenedt omysel f-respect .
Sleepingwi thSiya,wasonl ygoi ngt omake
thingswor se.Hewasgoi ngt ot hinkev er
y t
hing
wasok, andt hatwewoul dt akeof fwher ewe
l
ef toff,buttruthbetoldwewer enowher enear
beingOk.I nsteadwewer eont heedgeofacl i
ff,
andi tfeltl
ikewewer egoingt of allov er.

Igotdressed,
andwenttotheki
tchentomake
somethingtoeat
.Ideci
dedtosett
leona
smoothie,i
nst
eadofanormalbreakf
ast.
 
Siy
awalkedi
nwhi
l
eIwasbusy.Heputhi
s
handsar
oundmywai
stf
rom behi
nd,
andkissed
myneck

Hi
m;what
’swr
ong?
Me;
not
hing 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
Iknowy
ou.
 
Me;
i’
mjustnot
 
Hi
m;y
our
egr
eti
tdon’
tyou 
Me;Siya,wearesodamaged, andIj
ustfeell
ike,
wearegoi ngar
oundincir
cles.We’
renot
movingforwardorbackwards.I
nst
eadwej ust
keepdoingthesameshitoverandoveragain. 
Him;Iknowbaby,butt
hingsaregoi
ngto
change.Hi
smissi
onwi l
lendsoon,t
henoncei
ts
done.YouandIcanconcentr
ateonus 
Me;butSi
ya.You’vesai
dthi
sbef
ore.We’
ve
beenher
e,andIjustdon’
tknowi
fIcansothi
s
agai
n,wi
thoutget
ti
nghur
t
Hi
m;come

Si
yatookmyhand,andwewentt
olounge.He
mademesitonhislap

Him; Rifi
l
oe.Thedayy ouwer ekidnappedwas
thedaymywor stnightmar ebecamear ealit
y.I
wassobusysav ingthewor l
d,butIcouldn’t
keepy ou.Mywi f
esaf e.Ithoughtt hati
fwej ust
getdi v
orced,i
twoul ddrawFer nandezoutof
wher ehewas.Idi dn’
ttell
y oubecauseIhadt o
makesur eyouwentabouty ournor malrouti
ne.
IfFernandezevenf oraseconddoubt edour
divorce.Hewould’vecomeaf teryouagai n.And
Ijustcouldn’
tri
ski t
ME;whataboutJessi
ca?Youwer
ewi
thherSi
ya.
Isawt
hepictur
es 
Hi
m;Iknowwhaty
ousaw,
Ican’
tsaymuch
aboutt
hatunt
ilwe’
vefoundFer
nandez
.Just
knowiti
sn’
twhatitseems 
Me;
but
 
Hi
m;Ican’
tsayany
mor
e 
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Him; Rif
il
oe,IknowI ’
vegivenyouami ll
i
on
reasonst or
un.AndI ’m sur
pri
sedthatyouar e
sti
llhereaft
eralltheshitwe’v
ebeent hrough.
ButI’mjustaskingisthatyougivemet ime.Let
mewr apthi
smi ssionup,andI’l
lbeal
l y
our s.I
swear  
Me;
Idon’
tknow 
Hi
m;I
’
lll
ety
out
hinkabouti
t 
ME;
thanks 
Hi
m;canIgetaki
ss?

Il
eanedi
nandki
ssedhim.Nomatterhow
scr
ewedupwewere.Ihadnodoubtweloved
eachother
.Ij
usthopedt
hatl
ovecoul
dcar
ryus
thr
ough.

Hi
m;t
hedoct
ori
sonhi
sway
 
Me;
Siy
a….
.Idon’
t 
Hi
m;pl
easedot
hisf
orme
Me;
whati
fI’
m pr
egnantSi
ya.(
Sni
ff
) 
Hi
m;baby
.Don’
tcr
y 
Me; howar ewegoingtobr
ingupachi
ld,when
all
wedoi sfight
?Howdowebr i
ngachil
dinto
thi
scr azysit
uati
on? 
Hi
m;wewi
l
lmakei
twor
kRi
fi
loe.
 
Me;howSiy
a?Whatift
hismissi
ont
akesl
onger
?
Whatify
oucan’
tbeher
eSiya?
Him;Ri
fil
oe.We’l
ltakethi
ngsonedayatatime.
Let’
sfi
rstfi
ndoutifyou’
repr
egnantornot
 
Me;
(si
gh)ohGod.OhGod 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loer
elax 
Me;
How 
Hi
m;pani
cki
ngi
sonl
ygoi
ngt
omaket
hings
wor
se 
Me;
ohGodSi
ya.Whydi
dn’
tyoupul
lout
? 
Hi
m;wel
lwewer
eki
ndofi
nthemoment
 
Me;
lookwhaty
ou’
vedonenow 
Hi
m;Hawbaby
,but
 
Me;
shi
t 
Hi
m Ri
fi
loe.Cal
m down 
Me;
no.no.no.Thi
sisn’
thappeni
ng 
Hi
m;Rif
il
oe,y
ouhav en’
tev
ent
akent
het
est
.It
mi
ghtbenegati
ve 
Me;youbet
terpr
ayi
tis.Becausei
fI’
m
pr
egnant
.I’
m goi
ngt
ost abyou 
Hi
m;howdi
dwegofrom bei
ngal
ll
oveydov
ey
t
oyouwant
ingt
ost
abme
Iwalkedoutandwenttotheki
tchent
of i
nish
makingmysmoot hi
e.Siy
abett
erpraythatI’
m
notpregnant
.

Thedoctorar
ri
ved,
wit
hallhi
sequipment
.Si
ya
showedhimtooneofthesparebedr
oomsto
setup.
 
Whi
l
eIf
ini
shedof
fdr
inki
ngmysmoot
hie.

Si
yacamebackdownst
air
sjustasIwas
washi
ngmydishes

Hi
m;t
hey
’rer
eadyf
ory
ou 
Me;
giv
emeasec

Si
yacamecl
oserandgav
emeahug
Hi
m’;
it’
sgoi
ngt
obeok 
Me;
let
’sj
ustdot
his

Wewalkedupstai
rsandunf or
tunat
elythetest
camebackpositi
ve.Iwasindeedpregnantand
Siy
awasoverthemoon.  
Wedidanultr
asound,
andi
tshowedIwas
about3weeksandafewdays.
 
Thedoct
orputmeonsomemeds,
andl
eftus
wit
hscan.

Siy
awal kedt
hedoct
orout,
andIwentt
oour
bedroom.Thi
swasjustt
oomuchtotake.
 
Si
yacameback,
andsatnextt
ome

Hi
m;sowe’
rehav
ingababy
 
Me;
stopst
ati
ngt
heobv
ious 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Ihat
eyou 
Hi
m;Iguesst
hisi
syourhor
monest
alki
ng 
Me;
Iwi
l
lsl
apt
heshi
toutofy
ou 
Hi
m;babywhatcanIdot
omakei
tbet
ter
 
Me;letbul
letf
inf
isht
hemi
ssi
on,
andy
oust
ay
her
ewi thme 
Hi
m;buty
ouknowIcan’
t.Ihav
etof
ini
sht
he
mi
ssi
onfi
rst
 
Me;
mxm 
Him;Ri
fi
loeI
’
mtr
yingher
e.Can’
tyoumeetme
hal
fway?
 
Me;(sni
ff
)butSiya(
snif
f)nowIhav
etogo
t
hroughalloft
hisal
one.(Sni
ff
) 
Hi
m;St
opwi
tht
hewat
erwor
ks
Me;
(sni
ff
) 
Him;
these9mont
hsar
egoi
ngt
obet
hedeat
h
ofme 
Me;
(sni
ff
) 
Hi
m;may
beyoushouldgot
oKZNunt
ilt
he
mi
ssi
oni
sfi
nished.
 
Me;
overmydeadbody
 
Hi
m;sowhatdoy
ousuggestIdo 
Me;makesurey
ouf i
nisht
hisshi
tasap.Orel
se
Iam goi
ngt
okil
lyou 
Hi
m;deal
 
Me;
deal
 
Hi
m shoul
dweshakeoni
t 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;howaboutweki
ssoni
tinst
ead 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;Sodoest
hismeany
ouandIar
ecool
? 
Me;
itsnotl
i
kewehav
eachoi
ce.Wear
e
basi
cal
l
yst
uckt
oget
her
 
Hi
m;(
giggl
es)t
hankGodf
ort
hisbaby
 
Me;yahhyahh.Nowgomakemeanot
her
smoothi
e 
JHi
m;f
ir
stweneedt
odi
scussThi
sJasonguy
 
Me;Si
ya.Weli
ter
all
yjustgotbackt
oget
her.
Li
ke5secondsagoandal r
eadyyoumaki
ng
demands 
Him;Ri
fi
loe.Youcan’
texpectmetobeokwi
th
youbei
ngincontactwit
hthati
diot
 
Me;
he’
smyf
ri
end 
Hi
m;af
ri
endwho’
ski
ssedy
ou 
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;Idon’
tli
kei
t 
Me;
getov
eri
t 
Hi
m;pr
omi
semey
ouwon’
tseehi
m agai
n
Me;
you’
rebei
ngpsy
cho 
Hi
m;I’
veal
way sbeenpsy
cho.Especi
all
ywhen
i
tcomestoyou 
Me;
Iknow.Whi
chi
swhyy
ouneedt
ost
op 
Him; nothappening.You’
rehavingmybaby .
Whichmeanswear edoubli
ngsecur i
tyar
ound
here.Nogoi ngoutwithoutyoursecuri
tydet
ail
,
andmakesur eyougetenoughr est.Youheard
whatt hedoctorsaidaboutnotstressi
ng 
Me;
you’
rest
ressi
ngmer
ightnow 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)Il
ovey
ou
Me;
yah.Imhmm y
out
oo 
Hi
m;sor
rywhat
sthat
 
Me;
Imhmm y
out
oo 
Hi
m;ki
ssmet
opr
ovei
t 
Me;
no
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
becausei
fwekissi
tleadssomewher
eand
mynunai
ssti
llswol
l
en 
Hi
m;Icanki
ssi
tbet
ter
 
Me;
nowy
ou’
ret
alki
ng.Butf
ir
stmysmoot
hie 
Hi
m;comi
ngr
ightup.

Siyamademeanot hersmoothie,andwespent
therestofthedayinbed.Onest hingforsure,
therewasnousedeny i
nghowmuchIl ovedhim.
Ijusthopedthatthi
stimearoundwecoul d
maket hingswork,becausenowi twasn’tall
aboutus.Wehadachi ldonthewaywho
neededt hebothofus.
[
05/
14,
11:
43]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

122

Iwokeupthef
oll
owi
ngmor
ningwi
thSi
ya
sl
eepi
ngnextt
ome.
Helookedsosweetandst r
essf r
eei
nhissleep,
butthef actthatwehadababycomi ngscared
me.Si yahaddonesomanyt hi
ngstomet hatI
have“ f
orgiven”himfor
.Butt
hingswereabi t
dif
ferentnowbecauseIdidn’tonl
yhavemet o
thi
nkabout .

DoIr eal
lywantmychildaroundSiyaandhi
sjob?
DoIr eal
lywantustobelinkedtohiminthi
s
way ?Iknowhesaidhewi ll
quithi
sJob,but
Siy
ahaspr omisedthatbeforeandhe’
snever
actuall
ydoneit
.

Idon’
tknowwhet heritwashormonesspeaking
orwasthereal
it
yoft histoxi
crel
ati
onshi
p
fi
nall
yset
tl
ingi
n?Wast histheli
fet
hatIhad
real
l
ychosenformy selfandmychild?

Igotoutofbedandputonmygown.Iwent
downst ai
rsandjustwalkedaroundt hegarden
thinki
ngofeverythi
ngthatSi
yaandIhadbeen
through,f
rom t
hedaywemet ,tot hedayIfound
outaboutGhost.From thefi
rstkisst ohi
m
sleepingwit
hJessica.

Wasthisreal
l
ylove?Wast hi
sasgoodasitgets?
DoInotdeservetobelovedl
ikehowIwantto
beloved?WasInotwor t
hhimleavi
ngthefor
ce?
Wouldhehatemeaf ewy ear
sfrom now?Ihad
somanyquest i
onsbutnoonet ogi
veme
answers.

IfeltSi
ya,
bef
oreheevensaidany
thi
ng.Hi
s
cologneandhi
spresencehadawayofgiv
ing
hi
m away .

Hi
m;apennyf
ory
ourt
hought
s 
Me;
Idon’
tthi
nky
ouwantt
oknow 
Hi
m;ofcour
seIdo 
Me;
stopwor
ryi
ng,
 
Hi
m;ar
eyouok 
Me;
I’
mfi
ne 
Hi
m;andt
hebaby
? 
Me;
we’
ref
ine 
Hi
m;Icanseewor
rywr
it
tenal
lov
ery
ourf
ace 
Me;
doy
oubl
ameme 
Hi
m;notonebi
t 
Me;Siya,
weshoul
dn’
tbebr
ingi
ngachi
l
dint
o
t
his.I
t’
snotr
ight
Him;I
’m conf
used.It
houghty
ouandIwer
e
good 
Me;wear e.I
tsjustthatIworr
yaboutthischil
d.
Whatkindoflif
ear ewegoingtoofferhim/her.
Youarealwaysaway .Wehavemenguar ding
thehousewithGuns.That ’
snotnor
mal .Idon’
t
wantmychi l
dgr owingupinahomewher ethe
f
atheri
sassoci
atedwit
hgangsandal
lthe
t
hingst
hatcomewi t
hyourj
ob 
Hi
m;butbaby
,I’
vetoldyouI'
mr esi
gni
ng.I’
ve
madeupmymi nd.Thisi
sthelastt
ime,Iswear
 
Me;
whathappensi
fyounev
erf
indFer
nandez
 
Hi
m;Iwi
l
l 
Me;
whati
fyougethur
t 
Hi
m;Iwont
 
Me;
howcany
oubesoconf
ident
 
Him;becauseIhavetobeRif
il
oe.Hopei
sthe
onl
ythingthatdr
ivesme.I
fIhavenohopeI
havenothi
ng 
Me;
Ijustwi
shy
oudi
dn’
thav
etogo.
 
Hi
m;I
’
llbebackbef
orey
ouknowi
t
Me;
Ireal
l
yhopeso 
Hi
m;t
rustme 
Me;
Ido
Si
yast
oodi
nfr
ontofmeandgav
emeahug

Him; babythereisnothingIwantmor ethanto

bewi thyouandourbaby .Iwanttoseey ou
becomeamot her.Iwanttoseey ouholdour
chi
ldandgi vethem thel oveyou’
vegiv
enme.I
wantt obewi t
hy ou,seey ouhappyandnot
havet oworryaboutany onecomi ngaft
eryou.
AllIneedistime.

Idi
dn’
tsayanythingfurt
her
.Si
yasaidal
lthe
ri
ghtt
hings,
butint i
mehisact
ionswouldhave
todoallt
hetal
king.SofornowIhadtoputmy
fai
thi
nhim,andpr aythi
swholethi
ngends
soon.

Iwal
kedbackinsi
dewit
hSiy
abymyside.I
knewthathewasgoi
ngbacktowor
ktoday,
and
thatj
ustmademef eelevenworse.Iwant
edso
badlytohav
ehim hereinourl
i
ttl
ebubble.
Wher ei
twasjustusandnooneel se.

IgreetedMam Mart
haandwentbacktoour
room.Siyawasonthephonewi
thHlokesgoi
ng
throughpl
ansfort
heday.

Isoakedmy selfi
nt hebathandjusttookin
ever
y t
hing.WasIr eal
lyhavingababy?Iwant ed
tobeexci ted,butIwasscar edIwouldlosethe
babylikeIdi dwiththetwins.Idon’
tknowI fI
couldev ergetoversomet hingli
kethatagain,
sofort i
mebei ng,Iwouldt r
ynottogett o
exci
ted.May beonceIst ar
tshowingIwoul dget
exci
ted.

Bythet
imeSi
yacamei
nthewat
erwasget
ti
ng
col
d.
Him;
you’
vebeeni
nher
eforawhi
l
e.Youshoul
d
comeout
 
Me;
I’
ll
beouti
namoment
 
Hi
m;canIgety
oubr
eakf
ast
 
Me;
not
hanks 
Hi
m;y
ouneedt
oeatsoy
oucant
akey
ourpi
l
ls 
Me;
Iwi
l
l.
 
Hi
m;weneedt
otal
k.Comeout
 
Me;
ok

Icameoutt
hebath,andwenttogetdressed.I
wasn’
tpl
anni
ngongoi ngany
where,soI
deci
dedt
ojustwearshort
sandat op.

Si
yawassi
tt
ingont
hebed,
soIwentt
ojoi
nhi
m
Me;
I’
m al
lear
s 
Hi
m;Thanky
ou 
Me;
forwhat
 
Him;forstay
ing.Iknowyoust i
ll
havedoubts,
andthatyouarewor ri
edaboutthebaby,
butI
promiseyouIwillmakeupf oral
lthepai
nthatI
caused.
 
Me;
Ihopeso 
Him;I
m goi
ngtobeI nandoutofSA.Ineedy
ou
tocar
ryonwit
hy ournor
malrouti
ne.Noone
canknowaboutusbeingmarri
ed.Noone
Me;
ok 
Hi
m; I
’
m goi
ngt
ohav etoti
ghtenupsecur
it
y.So
nogoi
ngoutwi
thoutyourGuards
Me;
howmany
 
Hi
m;2‘
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;al
lyourcal
l
sar
erecor
ded,
sonophoni
ng
any
onetodiscussmeort
hef
orceorany
thi
ng
oft
hatsor
t 
Me;
but
 
Him; nobutsRifil
oe,Thisisserious.Once
Fernandezfindsoutt hatwehav ecapturedone
ofhisassociates.Hei sgoingtopanic,and
oncepeopl estartpanicki
ng,theyare
unpredict
able 
Me;
ok
Hi
m;last
ly.Thedoct
orwil
lcomeheret
ocheck
uponyouweekly.Makesureyout
akeyourpi
l
ls
Me;
Siy
aI’
m notachi
l
d 
Hi
m; Iknow.Ij
ustwantt
omakesur
emybaby
i
stakencareof 
Me;
Siy
a,t
hebabyi
sn’
tev
enababyy
et.Rel
ax
Hi
m;Idon’
tcar
e.I
tsmybaby ,andIwantto
makesur
ehegetsthebestpossi
blecar
e
Me;
He
Hi
m;Yes 
Me;
andi
fit
’sagi
rl
 
Hi
m;ThenI
’
m goi
ngt
odi
e 
Me;
(chuckl
es)Why?
Hi
m; becauseIalr
eadyhaveoneDi
vat
odeal
wi
th.Idon’tneedanot
herone 
Me;wel
l
,It
hinki
twoul
ddoy
ougoodt
ohav
ea
gi
rl
 
Hi
m;howso 
Me;
sof
teny
ouupabi
t 
Hi
m;y
oual
readydot
hat
 
Me;
notenough 
Hi
m; mor
ethanenough.Ineedt
otoughenup
more 
Me;
why
 
Him;wel
l,
ifI
’
m goingtobet
akingov
erasCEO
ofNdhl
ovuCorp,
Iplanonbei
ngasruthl
essi
n
t
hebusi
nesswor
ldasIam i
nthef
orce 
Me;
arey
our
eal
l
yresi
gni
ng
Hi
m;Iam 
Me;
thankGod 
Hi
m;Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng.I
’
llseey
ousoon 
Me;
howsoon 
Hi
m;may
bet
oni
ght
 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;remember.I
fany
t hi
nghappensordoesn’
t
f
eelr
ight
,yougoi
ntothepani
croom 
Me;
ok
Hi
m;doy
oust
il
lremembert
hecode?
Me;
yesnowst
op.You’
rescar
ingme 
Hi
m;ok,
onemor
ethi
ng 
Me;
what
 
Him;ifanyt
hinghappenst
oday.Don’
tleav
ethe
house.Stayhere.Iwi
l
lcal
lyou
Me;
somet
hingl
i
ke?
Hi
m;I
’
m notsur
e.I
’
mjustsay
ing 
Me;
Siy
a,whatar
eyouhi
dingf
rom me 
Him;
nothingyet
.ButI
’
verecei
vedsomeI
ntel
,
andI
’m notsur
ewhattot
hinkordo 
Me;
you’
rescar
ingme 
Hi
m;don’
tbe
Me;
Siy
a
Him;baby.Don’twor
ry.Justpr
omisemeyou
wil
ldoast ol
d.Idon’
twanttohavetowor
ry
aboutyoursafety
Me;
ok
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Ilov
eyout
oo 
Hi
m;l
aydownsoIcanki
ssmybaby
 
Me;
you’
reov
erdoi
ngi
t 
Hi
m;j
ustl
aydown
Ir
oll
edmyey esandjustdi
dast
old.Si
yal
eaned
i
nandkissedmyt ummy .

Hi
m; baby
,it
sdaddyher e.I
’
m goingtobeaway
abit
,soIneedy outobehave,t
rynottomake
mommysi ck.She’ssuchacrybabyasiti
s.The
l
astthi
ngweneedi st
omakeherwor se.

Il
ookeddownatSiyaandsmil
ed.Youcoul
dtel
l
hewasexci
tedaboutthebaby
.Whichi
nturn
gavemehope.Atl
eastheknewhehad
somethi
ngtol
ookforwardtowhenhecomes
home.

Si
yaleftandIwentbackt obed.Iwasn’texact
ly
si
ck,
butIwasj ustfeel
ingdown.Idon’tknow
whyexactly
.ButIjustwantedtosleep.
SomethingaboutSiyal
eavingwasn’tsi
tti
ngwell
wit
hme.Ijustprayedhewascominghome.
Thelastt
hingIneedist
ohavearepeatofwhat
happenedinCuba.

WhenIwokeup, itwasaf
termi
ddayandIwas
st
arving.SoIwentdownandmademy sel
fa
fr
uitsalad.

ThemomentIputont henewsmyheartfr
oze.I
ranupstai
rstof et
chmyphone.Somet
hing
wasn’tr
ight.Iknewit
.

Itr
iedSi
ya,buthi
sphonewentdir
ectl
yto
voi
cemail
.Itri
edHlokesbuti
twasvoi
cemai
las
well.

IknowI’m supposedtobecal
m, butt
hiswas
bad.Real
lybad.Itookmypil
lsandtri
edtocal
m
down.
Itr
iedSiy
aagai n,buthi
sphonewentto
voi
cemail.Iknowhesai dthati
fany
thing
happens,Ishouldstayathome.ButIneededt
o
fi
ndoutifhewasok.

Iputonmysneaker
sandr anddownst
air
s.I
neededt
ogettoSiy
a’sbase,andseef
ormysel
f.

ThemomentIst
eppedout
side,
theguar
dswer
e
onthei
rfeet
.

Me;
hi 
Them;
Mam 
ME;
Ineedy
out
otakemet
oSi
ya’
sof
fi
ces

Theguar
dsbot
hlookedateachot
her
Me;
now 
Hi
m; mam.I’
m sor
ry,
butwehav
eclear
i
nstr
ucti
onst
omakesureyoudon’
tleav
ethe
pr
emises 
ME;
Ineedt
omakesur
eSi
yai
sok 
Hi
m;I’
m sor
rymam,
butIhav
etof
oll
owmy
or
der
s 
Me:arey
oufucki
ngkiddi
ngme?Myhusband’s
bui
l
dinghasbeenbombed,andy
ouwanttotel
l
meIcan’
tmakesureheisok 
Him;wewil
llety
ouknowassoonaswehear
somethi
ng 
Me;
that
’snotgoodenough 
Hi
m; mam.Please.Ghostgaveusspeci
fic
i
nst
ruct
ions.Wearenotatliber
tyt
oletyouof
f
t
hepropert
y 
Me;
hav
eyouhear
dany
thi
ngf
rom hi
m 
Hi
m;notsi
ncehel
eftt
hismor
ning 
Me;
letmeknowi
fhecal
l
s
Hi
m;y
esmam.

Iwentbackinsi
deandf li
ppedthrought henews
channeltoseei
ftherewasanupdat e.Butther
e
wasnot hi
ng.Al
ltheyknewwast hata
governmentbui
ldinghadbeenbombed, and
thatt
heywer et
ryingtocontai
nthefire.There
wasnot hi
ngaboutsurvi
vors

Ical
l
edBoni
,andsheanswer
ed

Me;
arey
ouwat
chi
ngt
henews

Her
;I’
m onmywayt
oyourhouse 
Me;
what
’swr
ong 
Her;appar
entlymysecuri
tydetai
l
swer egi
ven
str
icti
nstr
ucti
onstotakemet oyyourhouse
shouldanyt
hinghappen 
Me;
hav
eyouhear
dfr
om y
ourman 
Her
;no.Tr
iedhi
m ami
l
li
ont
imes 
ME;
ok,
I’
ll
seey
ouwheny
ougether
e 
Her;Ri
fi
loe,
pleasetel
lmethatt
hereok.Idon’t
evenwanttothinkofanyot
herpossi
bil
it
ies 
Me;Ihopet
heyar
eBoni
.Wej
usthav
etohav
e
f
ait
h 
Her
;I’
l
lseey
ouwhenIgett
her
e 
Me;
shap

Iputdownt hephoneandwi pedawayat ear

thathadescaped.IprayedtoGodt hatSiyaand
histeam wereok.Siy
awassov agueabout
whatwashappeni ng,soIwasn’tsureift
his
wasoneofhi stri
cks,orift
hiswasr eal
.
Thelastt
hingIcouldbearwastolosehim.How
coul
dIpossibl
yraiseachil
dalone?Siy
awasso
exci
ted,t
herewasnowayGodwoul dtakehi
m
fr
om menow.Notwhenwe’ vejustmadeup.
[
05/
14,
11:
44]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

123

Itr
iedgoingovertheconversat
ionIhadwi th
Siy
a.Ineededtoseei fmaybehehi nt
edat
somet hi
ngaboutthisbombing,butIcouldn’
t
pi
ckuponany t
hing.Somethingdidn’
tfeelri
ght
.
Whywoul dSiyaletanyonej
ustbombt he
buil
ding?

Whycouldn’
tthenewstel
lusiftherewereany
casual
ti
esorsurv
ivor
s?Alloft
hisjustseemed
sooverthet
op,andSiya,
wasn’texactl
ythe
ki
ndofguywhowasov
ert
het
op.

Boni
arri
vedandherfacerefl
ect
edmyfear
s.
Shel
ookedsowornout .Li
keshehadaaged
100year
ssinceIl
astsawher

Me;
youl
ookl
i
kehowIf
eel
 
Her
;Ri
fi
loe,
Icantl
osehi
m.Notl
i
ket
his

Boni
burstint
ot ear
s,andmyheartjustbr
oke.
Shewasusuallythestr
ongone,andalways
comfor
ti
ngme, andtoseehercr
ying,j
ustbr
oke
myheart.

Iopenedmyarmst oher,
andjustheldheras
shecri
ed.Ihadtobethestr
ongonei nallt
his
andhopethatthi
swasallapartoftheplan.
OnceBonihadcalmeddown, IaskedMam
Marthatomakeussomet hingtoeat.Ihadn’
t
real
l
yeatenanyt
hing,andifSi
yawasokandhe
knewthathewouldcomeoutofwher everhei
s
andkil
lmehimself.

Me;
comesi
t 
Her
;Howar
eyousocal
m 
Me;Boni
.Wedon’tknowwhathappened.The
onl
ythi
ngweknowi sthatt
hebui
ldi
nghasbeen
bl
ownup.Ther
eisnothingi
ndi
cati
ngthatthey
werei
nthebui
l
ding. 
Her
;oh,
GodRi
fi
loe.Ihopey
ou’
rer
ight
. 
Me;
Ihopesot
oo

Boni andIhadl
unchwithmam Marthainthe
l
ounge.Wekeptgoingthroughthenews
channel t
oseei
fanythi
nghadbeenpickedup,
butithadbeenhoursandsti
ll
nothi
ng,andnow
Iwasal
sost
art
ingt
opani
c.

Whati
fIwaswr
ong?Whati
fSi
yawashur
t? 
IwasdeepinthoughtwhenIhear
daloudBang
comingfr
om outsi
de.Myheartj
umpedtomy
thr
oat.

Il
ookedatmam Mar
thaandBoni,t
omakesur
e
Iwasn’
tgoi
ngcr
azy,
andtheyeyestol
dmeI
wassane.

Me;weneedt
ogett
othepani
croom.Wher
e’s
Thembi
?

AsIaskedt
hat
,Ihear
dgunshot
sgoi
ngof
f.

Me;
now
Weall
leapedup,andheadedupstai
rs.Thi
swas
wor
sethanIthought,becausenowt
hebullet
s
wer
egetti
ngcloserandcloser.

IsawThembi appearfrom upstair

s,andweal l
rant
omybedr oom.ilockedt hedoorandwe
wenttothecloset.It
ri
edent eri
ngthedoor,but
i
trej
ectedthepasswor d.ITOOKADEEP
BREATHandt riedagain,andstil
li
trej
ected.

Il
ookedatev
ery
oneshaki
ng

Me;
itwontt
aket
hepasswor
d 
Boni
;cal
m downandt
ryagai
n

It
ri
edagai
nandst
il
lnot
hing.
Me;
doy
ouhav
eyourphone 
Boni
;It
hinkIl
efti
tdownst
air
s. 
Me;
shi
t
Her;
Rif
il
oe,wearepani
cki
ng.Youneedt
otr
y
andputi
nthepasswordsl
owly.

AsBoni saidt
hatweheardmoregunshot
s.I
t
wasobv ioust
heyhadaccessedt
hepremi
ses,
becauseofhowclosetheywere.

Isai
dalit
tl
eprayerandputi
nthepasswor
d
sl
owly,
andthankful
lyIsawt
hedoorsopeni
ng.

Iletoutasighofr eli
efandweal lwenti
n.The
doorsimmedi atelyclosedbehi
ndme.Iputi n
thepasswor dagai ntosecureevery
thi
ng,and
onwentt helights.
Ihadhonestlyneverbeensoscar ed.Myhands
werestil
lshaking,
butatleastIknewwewer e
safe.Ij
ustprayedthatwewoul dn’thav
etobein
herefortoolong.

Thepani
croom wasn’texact
lysmall
.Buti
t
wasn’
tbi
geither
.Itwasmadebul l
etproof
,and
i
tiscl
osetoimpossibl
etodetect
.

Weall satsownont
hesof
as,andIputont
he
monitors.Iwant
edt
oseethemovementsi
nthe
house.

Lucki
l
ythecamer
aswer
eal
lst
il
li
npl
ace.

Thesightbef or
emebr okeme.Myhouse
l
ookedl i
keawarzone.Mywi ndowswer eall
broken,mycar swerehadbul
lethol
es
everywhere.Icoul
dn’
tmakeoutwhet hert
he
i
ntrudershadmadei
tinsi
deasy
et,
butIcoul
d
seeSiya’smenr
unni
ngupanddown.

Hopef
ull
ytheyhadev
ery
thi
ngi
ncont
rol
.

Itookthephonethatwehadi nt
hepanicr
oom,
andtri
edSiya,butasexpect
edhisphonewas
off.

Al
lIcoul
ddonowi
ssi
tandwai
t.

Weallsati
nsil
ence.Wewer
esoonedge,
you
coul
dcutoranxi
ousnesswi
thakni
fe.

Westayedinther
eforhour
sonend.Iwas
st
art
ingtobecomecrankyandj
ustwant
eda
wayforwar
d.
Thehousehadgonedark,sothecameras
weren’
texactl
ycl
ear
.Icouldn’
tmakeoutwhat
washappeningandt
hatjustmademewor se.

Ihear
dthephoner
ingi
ngandweal
lj
umpedup.

Me;
hel
l
o 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
Sizwe,
Hi 
Hi
m;oht
hankGod.
 
Me;
Sizw,
what
sgoi
ngon
Hi
m;don’
twor
ryabouti
t.Ineedy
out
oli
stent
o
mecar
eful
l
y 
Me;
you’
rescar
ingme 
Hi
m;don’
tbe.Butj
ustl
i
sten 
Me;
Ok.
Him;GhostandBull
ethavegonerogue.The
l
astti
mewespoket ot
hem, wehadaleadon
whereFernandezwashidi
ng,andi
tso
happeneditwasinSA 
Me;
whatdoy
oumeanbyRouge 
Hi
m;asi
nnot
racker
s,nocel
lphonenot
hing 
Me;
shi
t 
Him;Iknow.Butheaskedmet omakesur
eI
l
ookedoutforasignalf
rom y
ouenter
ingt
he
pani
croom 
Me;
ok 
Him;we’r
egoingtoneedy ouguyst
ostayput
foranot
hercoupl
eofhours.Ineedt
obeableto
l
andahel i
copt
erther
e,butasyouknowthe
houseinJHBdoesn’thaveone.
Me;
sowhatdowedo 
Hi
m;I’
vegotasquadheadi
ngtherenow.They
ar
egoi
ngtoclearwayf
ortheheli
copter
. 
ME;
ok 
Hi
m; t
her
eisnoti
met opack.WhenIt
ell
yout
o
goyougo.Noquest
ionsasked 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;sey
ousoon 
Me;
thanky
ou

Sizwecutt
hecall,andIletoutasi ghofrel
ief
.It
wasgoodtoknowt hatwewer egett
ingoutof
here,
butatthesamet imeIst art
edgetti
ng
worri
edaboutSiyaandHl okes.

I
ftheyhadnobackup,
howweret
heygoi
ngto
gett
oFernandezwi
thj
ustt
het
woofthem?

Theworstpar
tinal
lthi
swasIcouldn’
teven
phoneSi
yatomakesurehewasOK.Al lwe
coul
ddonowwaspr aythatheandHlokes
knewwhatt
heywer
edoi
ng.
[
05/
14,
11:
44]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

124

Thewai t
ingwashonest
lydrivi
ngmeinsane.
Sizwehadcal ledl
i
ke2hour sagoandsti
ll
nothing.Iwantedtocal
lhi
m back,butwas
nervousbecauseofwhatSi yahadsai
d
regardingcall
sbei
ngrecorded.

Thelastt
hingIneededwast omakethi
swor se.
Thisshi
twaswayoutmyl eague,
andIhonestl
y
fel
tcompletel
yhel
pless.

Westay
edinthepani
croom forhours.Ieven
st
art
eddozi
ngoffonthecouch.Ihadn’ttaken
mymeds,andtheonl
yfoodav ai
l
ablewas
snacks.Notact
ual
food.

whenthephonef
inal
l
yrangIj
umpedupt
ogo
geti
t

Me;
Hel
l
o

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe

Me;
Sizwe,
we’
vebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ouf
orhour
s

Hi
m; sorryaboutthat
,butwehadt
omakesur
e
t
heintruderswereallt
akeni
n 
Me:
ok,
sowhatnow?
Hi
m: t
heheli
copteri
sgoingtolandont
he
st
reet
.Ther
e'snotenoughspaceonthegar
den 
Me:
isi
tsaf
e 
Hi
m:Yes.I
t'
stheonl
yopt
ionsof
ar
Me;
ok.Iguesswedon'
thav
eachoi
ce 
Him: y
ouneedtogetgoingnow.Youdon' thav
e
muchofawi ndow.I'
m sureFernandezguysare
planni
ngacomeback.I t
'sbet
tertogetyouto
thesafehousebef
orethathappens 
Me:
ok.
 
Him:donttakeanyt
hing.Justgetoutoft
her
e.
I
'l
lbewaiti
ngforyououtside 
Me:
areanyofy
ourguy
sint
hehouse 
Hi
m: no.We'velostafewmen.Somear e
i
njur
ed.Theteam I'v
eSentoveristheonl
yone
avai
l
able,andtheyarebusygather
ingevi
dence,
whil
eothersareont hef
iel
d
Me:
ok.We'
reonourway

Icutt
hecal
landj
ustt
ookamoment
.
Me:weshoul
dgo.Si
zweandt
het
eam ar
e
wai
ti
ngoutsi
de
Boni
:whyCantt
heycomei
n
Me:
somet
hingaboutshor
tst
aff
ed
Her
:let
'sj
ustgetoutofher
e

Weallstoodup,andputi
nthepasswor dto
openthepani
cr oom.Asthedoorsopenedwe
all
walkedout.Weweresonervous.Iwentto
thesafeandtookoutSi
yasgun.Idi
dn'treal
ly
knowmuchaboutguns.ButItookitanyway.

Wewal kedoutmyr oom slowlywithoneinf

ront
oftheother.Iknowsi zwesaidt ohurr
yupbut
somethingaboutt hiswholethingmademe
uneasy,especial
lythefactthattheycoul
dn'
t
comein.
Nonethelesswewalkedoutandreachedthe
f
loorbeneathuswhenIheardsomeshuffl
ing.
Myguttoldmesomet hi
ngwasn'tr
ight
.Ifr
oze,
whenIheardsomefootsteps.

Me:
weshoul
dgobackt
othepani
croom.

Themomenti sai
dthat,
Ihear
dthefoot
steps
gett
ingcloser
.Whoeverwascomingwas
approachingt
hestai
rs.Sowedidn'
thav
emuch
ti
me 
Iknewthatatt
hismomentweal
lhadt
otur
n
back.

Igr
abbedboni
shand,
andweal
lrushedback.

Thef
oot
stepswer
enowcl
oserandt
hatscar
ed
me.
Wegottomyr oom andlockedt
hedoor
.
Whoeverwascomi ngaf
teruswasnowonour
f
loor
,sowedidn'thavel
ong

Wer ant
othepanicr
oom, anIputi
nthe
passwor
d.Iti
mmediatel
yopenedasshotswer
e
fi
redtot
hebedroom door
. 
West or
medi nandiputthepasswordi
nagain.
Thedoorsclosed,
justastheguycomingaf
ter
usmadeoutwher ewewer e.Heshotacoupl
e
ofroundsatusbutlucki
l
yt hedoor
sshutj
ustin
ti
me.

Ifl
oppedont hefloor
,tr
yingtocatchmybr eat
h.
Thisshitwascrazyashel l
.Howdi dtheyknow
wewer ecomi ngout?Andi thoughtaSizwe
sai
dt hattheydi
dasweepoft hehousesowhy
wassomeonet ry
ingtokil
lus
Il
ookedoveratBoniandshewasjustasrel
iv
ed
asIwas,butt
henilookedatmam Marthaand
shehadherhandoverherabdomen

Il
ookedcl
oserandsawshewasbl
oodi
ng

Me:
shi
t.May
ou'
vebeenshot

Mam Mart
hajustnoddedatme.Igotupand
r
antohersi
de.

Wewereallpani
cbutdidn'
tknowwhattodo.
MamMar t
hawasstart
ingtogetpale,
andthat
mademesnapoutoft hepanicat
tackIwas
aboutt
ohave.

Me:
Boni
,seei
fyoucanf
indsomet
owel
s,ora
f
ir
stai
dki
t.

It
ookof
fmyt
op.Andpr
essedi
tonher

Me:Ma, don'tcl
osey
ourey
es.Tr
ytost
ay
awake.Please

shedidn'
trespond.Shejustkepthereyeson
mine.Isawat earescaped.Andiswall
owed
hard.Idi
dn'
twantt ocry,i
hadtobest r
ong.

Me:don'tev
enthi
nkabouti
t.You'
regoi
ngt
o
gett
hroughthi
s.

Mam Mart
ha,di
dn'
tmov
e.Shej
ustgotmor
e
andmorepl
ace.
Me:
Boni
,hur
ry

Bonirant
owar
dmewi tht owels.Mytopwas
soakedwit
hbl
ood.Ipressedthet owelonher
abdomen,whi
l
eBoni l
ookedf orthekit

Me:thembi
,tr
ycal
l
ingSi
yaagai
n.Orbul
l
et.
Any
one.

Thembi
gotup,
andpi
ckedupt
hephone.

Il
ookedatmam Mar
thaandshewasshacki
ng
herhead.

Icoul
dseeshewantedt
osaysomet
hingbut
thewordswoul
dn'
tcomeout
.
Me:
weneedt
ogety
out
oahospi
tal
.

Sheshookherheadi knowshewasagainstthi
s,
butihadt
odosomet hing.Icoul
dn'
tj
ustsiti
n
hereandl
etherdie.
 
Iwoul
dn'
tbeabl
etol
i
vewi
thmy
sel
f.

Bonicoul dn'tf
indaki t
.Nott hatitwoul dhel
p
anyway .Ilookedatt hembi andshel ooked
defeated.Itwasobv i
oust omet hattheonly
waswecangetmanMar thatot hehospital,
wasf ormet osurrendert oFernandezguy s.
OtherwisemanMar thawasn' tgoingt omakeit
andi woul dhav eherdeat honmyconsci ous,
andi wasn' twil
li
ngtol etthathappen.Mam
Mar t
hahadal waysbeent hereforme, andnow
i
twast i
mei di
dsomet hingforher .

Me:
thembi
.Keept
het
owel
spr
essedont
he
wound

Thembitookov
er,
whi
l
eIwentt
owashmy
hands.

Mam Marthawasbarl
eykeepi
ngherey
esopen.
Ineededt
ogetheroutofherasap.

Il
ookedatBoni
.

Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ogoout
 
Her
:huh
Me:
ifshe'
sgoi
ngt
omakei
t,weneedt
ogether
t
oahospit
al
Her
:Ri
fi
loe,
thoseguy
swi
l
lki
l
lyou
Me:
Idon'
thav
echoi
ce.
 
Her
:Ican'
tl
ety
oudon'
tthat
Me:
it'
snotupt
oyou.Ihav
etodot
his.
 
Her
:Ri
fi
loe 
Me:
not
imet
oar
gue.

Iwr
otedownt
hepasswor
dforher
.

Me;i
ncaseyouneedi
t.Butdon'
tcomeout
unl
essbul
l
etorSi
yacomesf ory
ou.Noone
el
se 
Her
:ri
f
Me:Ihav
et odot
his.Mam Mar
thahaschi
l
dren
t
olookafter
Her
:Iknowbut

Iwal
kedawayf
rom Boni
,andwentt
owar
dst
he
door
.
butt
henMam Mar t
hastar
tedcoughi
ngr
eal
ly
badl
y.It
urnedar
oundandwenttohersi
de.

Shesl
owl
yshookherheadatme

Me;shhh.Don'
twor
ry.I
t'
sall
goi
ngt
obef
ine.
I
m goingt
ogetyououtofher
e

Isawat
earrunni
ngdownhercheek,
andi
fel
t
myhear
tbr
eak.

Her
:Ri
fi
loedon'
t.I
t'
sti
me

Icoul
djustaboutmakeoutwhatmam Martha
wassaying.Hervoicewasamerewhi
sperand
i
tjustbr
okemeev enmore
Her:don'
tworryaboutme.Iam goingtomy
ancestor
s.That'
sagoodthing.Youjust
concentr
ateontaki
ngcareofy ourbaby
.Shei
s
goingtobri
ngYoulotsofj
oy

MamMar
thasmi
l
edatme,
andt
hencl
osedher
ey
es.

Me: no.
.,no.
..noooooo.Wakeup. .
.don'
tcl
ose
youreyes.ManMar t
hapleeeeaase

Isawsmallbubbl
escomingouthemout
has
shetookherl
astbreat
h.

Itri
edshakingherawake,
butt
herewasno
response.Iwantedt
otryCPRbutBoni
pul
led
meaway .
Her:
Rif
il
oe.She'
sgone.Ther
e'snot
hingy
oucan
do

Iscr
eamedmylungsout.Thepai
nIfel
twhenI
sawmyparent
sbodiesallcamebackagai
n. 
Mam Mar t
hahadbeenl oyal,
kindandal ways
opti
mi st
ic.Andnowshewasgone.Al lbecause
ofmycr azylifewit
hSi ya.Whoel sehadt oget
hurtordiebef or
ethiswasal lover?Andev en
thenhowdowemov eonf rom this?Howdowe
tel
l,herchil
drenthattheyarenowor phans,al
l
becauseofus.

Lifewastrulyunfai
r.Mam Marthahadlit
erall
y
takenabulletforme.Ifonl
yitweremei nher
place,i
twouldbebet ter
.BecauseIwasn'tsureI
wouldbeabl etoliv
ewi t
htheguil
tthatcomes
withlosi
ngher .
[
05/
14,
11:
46]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
125

Seei
ngMam Mar
thal
ayi
ngt
herecov
eredwi
th
bl
oodyt
owel
swasjustt
oomuch.

Wehadbeenher eforhoursalready,
andnoone
hadcall
ed.Itwasal
readymor ningandIwas
star
ti
ngtogetafrai
dthatwewoul dnev erget
outofhere.Thecamerashadbeendi sfigur
ed,
sowewer eprett
ymuchj uststuckhere,ti
ll
someonecamef orus.

Boni
;Ri
fi
loe,
Youneedt
oeat
 
Me;
I’
m good 
Her
;youhav
en’
teat
enany
thi
ngsi
ncey
est
erday
 
Me;
myapat
it
e’sv
ani
shed
AsBoniandIwer et
alki
ng,t
hephonerang.I
wasrat
hernervoustoanswer.Iwasn’
texact
ly
sur
ewhot otr
ustatthemoment .

Boni
;weshoul
danswer
 
Me;
Idon’
tknowi
fthat
’sagoodi
dea
Her
;itmi
ghtbeSi
ya 
Me;
itcoul
dal
sobeSi
zwe 
Her
;ther
esonl
yonewayt
ofi
ndout

Igotupandwentt
oanswert
hephone

Me;
Hel
l
o 
Him;Oght
hankGod.Ri
fi
loe.Youhadme
scar
ed 
Me;
Siy
a
Hi
m;y
esbaby
.
Ifel
tapartofmefinall
ystart
ingtoletgo.I
tfel
t
l
ikealoadhadbeent akenoffmyshoul der
s.
Bonist
oodupandcamet ost andnexttome,
whenshehearditwasSi ya

Me;
wher
e’sHl
okes?
Hi
m;get
ti
ngst
it
chedup,
buthe’
sok

Il
ookedatBoni
andsmi
l
ed.

Me;
whathappened 
Hi
m;l
ongst
ory
…I’
l
lexpl
ainwhenIseey
ou 
Me;
andwheni
sthat
 
Hi
m;soon 
Me;
soy
ou’
recomi
ngt
ogetus 
Hi
m;y
es.
..Butt
her
e’ssomet
hingIneedt
otake
car
eoff
ir
st 
Me;
somet
hingl
i
kewhat
 
Hi
m;pr
omi
senott
opani
c 
Me;
ok 
Him;Fernandezguy
shav
ethehouse
surr
ounded 
Me;
whatdoy
oumean
Hi
m;theyar
eev
ery
wher
e.They
’vesur
rounded
t
hepanicr
oom 
Me;
shi
t 
Hi
m;Iknow
Me;
sowhatnow 
Him;Ij
ustneedy
out
ostayput
.Don’topent
he
pani
croom.Nomatt
erwhat
.Iwil
lopenit
myself
 
Me;
ok,
butIneedt
otel
lyousomet
hing 
Hi
m;what
 
Me;
mam Mar
thai
sgone
Hi
m;Gonewher
e 
Me;
shewasshot
 
Hi
m;shi
t…When 
Me;
afewhour
sago 
Hi
m;whathappened.It
houghty
ouguy
swer
ein
t
hepani
croom thi
swholeti
me 
Me;Si
zwephoned,andt
oldustocomeout,but
oneofFer
nandezmenweresti
l
l i
nthehouse 
Hi
m;Fucki
ngHel
l
.Ar
eyouok
Me;
Yes.ButSi
yashe’
sgone(
sni
ff
) 
Hi
m;Iknowbaby
,I’
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
oseet
hat
Me;
Justgetusoutofher
e
Hi
m;Iwi
l
l 
Me;
promi
semey
ouwon’
tgethur
t 
Hi
m;don’
twor
ryaboutme.I
vegotapl
an 
Me;
whatdoesi
tinv
olv
e 
Hi
m;put
ti
ngabul
l
ett
hroughSi
zwe’
shead 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m; Rif
il
oe.Hebetr
ayedme.Agai n.Thi
sti
me
t
here’snofucki
ngmercy.Thi
stimeIendhis
f
uckingli
fe.Don’
tev
entryspeakingupforhi
m
Me;
Siy
a,don’
tspeakl
i
ket
hat
 
Him;
Itol
dy ounott
oleavethefucki
ngpani
c
r
oom,unlessmyguyscomef oryou.Whywoul
d
youl
i
stentoSizweofal
lpeople 
ME;
ButSi
ya 
Hi
m;noRi
fi
loe.Youar
etoot
rust
ing 
Me;
But
Hi
m;I
llspeakt
oyoul
ater

Siyacutt
hecall
.Iknowhewasmadatme,but
fornowallIcar
edaboutwast
hef
actt
hathe
andHlokesweresafe.
BoniopenedherarmsandIjustfell
int
othem.I
knowexact l
yhowshewasfeeling.Wewere
bothfinal
l
yseeingt
hel
ightattheendofal ong
darktunnel.

Her
;wi
l
lyouatl
easteatsomet
hing 
Me’
;i
ll
hav
eabagofchi
ps 
Her
’;f
ine

Wesatonthecouchopposi
temam Martha,
wait
ingf
orSi
ya.I
thurtl
ooki
ngather
,butshe
l
ookedsopeacef
ul.Li
keshewasasl
eep.We
hadnochoi
cebuttopret
end.

Westayedinthepani
croom f
orafewmore
hour
s,t
il
lIheardsomeoneopeni
ngthedoor
s.

West
oodup,
andt
hedoor
sopened.Seei
ng
Si
yaandHlokesstandi
ngontheot
hersi
de
br
oughtsuchrel
i
eftome.Theybothhadafew
st
it
chesbutnonethelesst
heyl
ookedwel
l

Ir
ani
ntoSi
ya’
sar
ms
Hi
m;I
t’
sal
lov
erbaby
Me;
(sni
ff
)

It
ookast
epbackandl
ookedathi
m.

Me;
youl
ookt
err
ibl
e 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)i
t’
sni
cet
oseey
out
oo 
Me;
Iwaswor
ri
edsi
ck 
Hi
m;It
oldy
ounott
obe

Siy
a,wal
kedi
nandlookedatMam Mar
tha.I
sawtear
sthr
eat
enhiseyes.
HelookedatHlokes,
andt
heyhadanunspoken
conver
sati
on.

Hi
m;weshoul
dgety
ouguy
soutofher
e 
Me;
ok

Bonil
ookedabi tner
voustoleaveHlokes,
but
shedidn’
thavemuchofachoi ce.Hlokeswas
j
ustasheadstrongasSiya.Sothemomenthe
gaveherthatl
ook,sheknewnott oargue.

ItookBoni
’
shand,andwewal kedoutwit
hSi
ya
andThembi.I
twasreal
lydi
ff
icultl
eavi
ngMam
Mar t
ha,
butwedidn’
thaveachoice.
 
Forthefi
rstt
imesi
ncethi
swholeshi
twent
down,Igotagoodlookatt
hehouseandi
twas
rav
aged.
Idi
dn’treallycar
eaboutt hemater
ialthi
ngs.All
ofthosecoul dbereplaced.Whathurtwas
knowingt hatbecauseofSizwe,mam Mar tha
wasgone, andther
ewasnot hingthatcoul
d
changet hat.
[
05/
14,
11:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

126

Wel ef
tthehousewithhugeasscars
shadowingus.Si
yagavemehi sJacket
,
becauseIwasonlyinasport
sbra,becauseI
hadusedmyshi r
ttohelpMam Mar t
ha.

Whenwearri
vedattheair
port.Wegotoutthe
car
stoboar
dtheplane.Ihadnoi deawher
ewe
weregoi
ng,
andquitefr
anklyIdidn’
tcar
e.
AllIwantedwastobewithSi
ya,andnothing
else,Ihadsomanyquesti
onsthatneeded
answer s,
butr
ightnowIdi
dn’
twantt odealwit
h
reali
ty.

Siy
asatdownnextt
omebutdi
dn’
tputhi
s
seatbel
ton

Hi
m;Baby
 
Me;
mhmm 
Him; I
’
m notgoingt
obeabletocometoCT
wit
hy ou.Ineedtoj
ustt
akecareafewthi
ngs
here.I
llbether
ebef
oreyougotobed 
Me;
butbaby
 
Hi
m;Ipr
omi
se 
Me;can’
tyoucomebacktoJHBtomor
row.
Ri
ghtnowallIneedi
syou.Pl
ease
Si
ya,lookedatmeandhel ookedl
i
kehewasat
acrossroad.Ididn’
twantt
oputhimt
her
e,butI
honestl
yjustneededhi
m. 
Hel
eanedi
ntowhi
spersomet
hingi
nmyear

Him; Ineedt
obeinJHB, sothatBul
l
etcant ake
ti
met obewi
thHisgir
l.He’
swayhur tphysicall
y
thanIam.Thisisherfi
rstt
imeexperienci
ng
somet hi
ngli
kethi
s.Heneedst obewi t
hher .
Whi chmeansIneedtotakecareofev er
ything
else.

Il
ookedatBoniandIfeltsosel
fi
sh.She
probabl
yneededHlokesatthemoment,andit
wouldn’
tbefai
rformet okeephi
mi nJHBright
now 
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Hi
m;y
ou’
reabossl
ady
.Youhav
etomakemor
e
sacr
if
icesf
orpeopl
ethatar
eony
ourt
eam.

Il
ookedatSi
yaandr
oll
edmyeyes.Hewas
smil
i
ngatmebecauseheknowIhatet
hose
st
upidnames

Me;
Justgo 
Hi
m;wil
lyoushowthem aroundthehousef
or
me?It
hinki
tsbestt
heystaywithusforawhil
e 
Me;
secondf
loor
? 
Hi
m;y
es 
Me;
shar
p 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Ilov
eyout
oo

Si
yagav
emeakissonthecheek,
andlef
t.We
wai
tedf
orov
eranhourbef
orewetookoff
,
becausewewer
ewai
ti
ngf
orHl
okes.

Whenhear r
ived,
wefi
nal
l
ylef
tJHBf orCT.I
coul
dseeBoni wasal
otl
essstressed.SoI
knowthatSi
yamadetheri
ghtdecisi
ont ost
ay
i
nJHB.

Whenwear ri
vedinthehouseinCT,Ishowed
BoniandHlokestothesecondfl
oor,wherethey
wouldbestayi
ng.ThenIwenttothethir
dfloor
toourroom.Ineededanicelongbat
h.Thepast
2dayshadbeenexhausting.

Af
termybath,
IputononeofSiy
a’sshi
rt
s,and
wentt
obed.Iwassoexhaust
ed.

Imust’
vebeenasleepforafewhourswhenI
hear
dsomeonewal kingi
ntothebedroom.I
i
mmedi at
elyt
ensed.Ihadthoughtt
hiswhol
e
t
hingwasov
er,
andher
ewassomeonei
nmy
r
oom.

Thecloserhegott
hemorenervousIbecame.
Unt
ilIsmelthi
scol
ogne.Il
ookedupandsaw
Si
ya’
sshadow

Ij
ustsmi
l
edandsatup

Me;
you’
reback 
Hi
m;Imi
ssedy
ou 
Me;
comet
obed 
Hi
m;i
m goi
ngt
otakeaqui
ckshowerf
ir
st
Me;
canIj
oiny
ou 
Hi
m;pl
ease

Igotoutofbedandt
ookof
fhi
sshi
rt
.Si
yadi
dn’
t
mov
e.Hej
ustst
oodt
her
elooki
ngatme 
Me;
What
 
Hi
m;Goshy
ou’
rebeaut
if
ul 
Me;
you’
remaki
ngmebl
ush 
Hi
m;Iwanty
ou 
Me;
Im al
lyour
s

Istoodcl
osert
ohi
m andst
art
edundr
essi
ng
him.

WhenIwasdone,Istoodonmyt ipt
oesandput
mylipsonhi
s.Thenonet hi
ngledtoanot
her,
andwesweetoldlov
e.Thenendedupf all
i
ng
asl
eepnextt
oeachot herwit
houtevengoi
ngto
shower.

WhenIwokeupt
hefoll
owingmorning,
Siy
a
wasnextt
omefastasl
eep.Nauseahad
deci
dedtoki
ckinratherbadl
ythi
smorni
ng.SoI
gotupandwenttothebathroom t
otr
yfr
eshen
up.

It
ookaqui
ckshower
,thengotbacki
ntobed.

Si
yaopenedhi
sey
esandsmi
l
edatme

Hi
m;y
ousmel
lgood 
Me;
wishIf
eltgood 
Hi
m;what
swr
ong 
Me;
justabi
tdi
zzy
 
Hi
m;canIgety
ouany
thi
ng 
Me;
not
hanky
ou 
Hi
m;y
ouneedt
oeat
 
Me;Idon’
tthi
nkIcanIcanst
omachany
thi
ng
r
ightnow 
Hi
m;dr
ytoast
?
Me;
I’
ll
godownandmakei
t 
Hi
m;no.y
our
elax
.Il
lhandl
eit
 
Me;
baby

Siy
arol
ledhi
seyes,andwenttot
akeaqui
ck
shower
,whil
eIt
riedgett
ingsomemoresl
eep.

Si
yabei
ngthefusserheis,
mademeaf
ull
br
eakf
asti
nsteadofjustdr
ytoast

Me;
whathappenedt
ojustdr
ytoast
 
Hi
m;Ijustthoughty
oushoul
dtr
yeat
inga
pr
operbreakfast

Il
ookedatt
heeggsandsausagesandmywhi
l
e
st
omachturned.
Theeggssmell
edhor r
ibl
e,andtheoi
l
inessof
thebaconandsausagesjustmademef eel
evenworse.

Irant
othebathr
oom andoutcamenothingbut
water
.Idi
dn’
thavemuchtot hrowupbecauseI
hadn’
teat
enforabout2days. 
Si
yawal
kedi
nandst
oodnextt
ome

Hi
m;whatcanIdot
ohel
p 
Me;
goaway
 
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
becauseIdon’
twanty
out
oseet
his 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.
 
Me;
outSi
ya
Siyastoodther
eandj
ustpatt
edmyback,
til
lI
wasdone.Igotupandbrushedmyt
eeth,
and
thenlookedathim

Hi
m;what
 
Me;
thi
sisal
lyourf
aul
tyaz
 
Hi
m;how 
Me;
youshoul
d’
vepul
l
edout
 
Hi
m;HawRi
fi
loe.Si
ncewhendowedot
hat
 
Me;
nxa

Iwalkedawayf rom hi
m, andl
efthi
mthere
confused.Ineededdrytoastwi
thwater
,andnot
al
lthisoil
ystuffhemade.

WhenIgotdownst ai
rs,
HlokesandBoniwer
e
hav
ingbreakfast
.Igr
eetedthem,andwentt
o
maketoast.Thenwentbacktomyr oom.
 
Iwasn’texactl
ygoodcompany,
soIjustl
eft
them t
oenj oyeachot
her
’scompany
.

WhenIgott
oourroom,Iopenedthecur
tai
ns
andwi
ndows,andj
usthadmyt oasti
npeace.
 
WhenIwasdone, Iwentlooki
ngforSi
ya.I
wantedtotal
ktohim aboutmam Martha.And
asexpectedhewasont hephoneinhi
sof f
ice.
 
Hecutt
hecal
li
mmedi
atel
ywhenIwal
kedi
n

Hi
m;y
oushoul
dknock 
Me;
sincewhen 
Hi
m;what
’sup 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;baby
Me;
don’
tbabyme 
Hi
m;i
mamaanRi
fi
loe 
Me;
Siy
aar
eyoucheat
ingonmeagai
n 
Hi
m;HawRi
fi
loe.Howdi
dwegett
othat
? 
Me;
whydi
dyoucutt
hephone,
wheny
ousaw
mecomei
n 
Hi
m;becauseIdidn’
twanty
out
ohearwhat
wasbei
ngsaid 
Me;
andwhynot
 
Hi
m;becauseIdon’
twanty
out
ost
ress
Me;well
,I’
m st
ressedandthi
nkingthaty
ouar
e
cheat
ingsoyoumi ghtaswel
ltell
me 
Hi
m;canwenotdot
his

Icr
ossedmyar msandlookedathim.Iwant
ed
toknowexact
lywhatwashappening

Hi
m;don’
tdot
hat
 
Me;
dowhat
 
Him;l
ooksobossy
.Makesmewantt
otakey
ou
bed 
Me;
don’
tev
ent
hinkabouti
t

Si
yacamecl
oser
,andIdi
dn’
tmov
e 
Hi
m;y
ouknowy
ouwantt
o 
Me;
whydoy
oual
way
sdot
hat
 
Hi
m;becauset
hebedr
oom i
stheonl
ypl
acey
ou
l
etmebeaman
Me;
that
’sbul
landy
ouknowi
t 
Hi
m;i
t’
sthet
rut
h

It
ookast
epback,
andl
ookedathi
m 
Hi
m;babyMaan 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;f
ine 
Me;
I’
mli
steni
ng 
Him;sitdown,causeIcan’
tconcent
rat
e
knowingthaty
ouar enakedundermyshir
t 
Me;
keepy
ourpant
sonbuddy

Isatonthedeskandwai
tedf
orhi
mtoexpl
ain
himsel
f

Him;soItender
edmyr
esi
gnat
ionl
ett
er
yest
erday
 
Me;
yesand
Hi
m;t
heydecl
i
nedmyr
equest

IknowIshould’vegivenhimtimetoexplain
fur
ther
.ButIjustknewhewasgoi ngtotellme
hewasst ay
ingblahbl ahbl
ah,andjustpissed
meof f
.Nxa,Siyajustneverkeptt
ohi swor d
whenitcamet ohisjob.Hewasal way swill
i
ng
tofi
ghtfort
hewor l
d,butwhenitcamet o
fi
ghti
ngforusitcamewithrestr
ict
ionsandthat
annoyedmet oamaximum.Iwasexpect i
nghis
chi
ldforheaven’
ssake,
andal l
hecar edabout
wasstayingasli
eut
enant.
[
05/
14,
11:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

127

Ilef
tSiyainhi
sstupidoff
iceandwentbackto
ourroom.Therewashonest l
ynousespeaking
tohim aboutt
hisbecauseitwoul
djustleadt
o
anotherhugeassargumentthatIam notint
he
moodf or.
Sot
hesakeofmysani
ty,
Iwal
kedaway
. 
IwassousedtoSiyacomingaf t
ermei fIl
eft
duri
nganargument,
butthisti
mehedi dn’t
i
nsteadhej
ustshuthisoff
icedoor ,
andletme
go.Whichi
nturnf
uell
edmyanger .Howdidhe
expectmetobeokwi t
hgetti
ngmyhopesup
yetonceagai n?Hepr omisedandnowhewas
goingbackonhi spr omise.Noonecanf or
ce
yout ostayataj obify ouwishtoresi
gn.They
mightdecl i
ne,buty ouf i
ghti
tforthesakeof
yourf amil
y.Notjustgi veinnxa.Andthenhe
sayst hatIneverlethim bethemani nthe
rel
ationship,wel
l howdoIsubmi ttoamanwho
can’tkeephiswor d?Fuckman

Igott
omyr oom andgotbacki nbed.Today
wasagloomydayout side,andi tjustrefl
ect
ed
mymood, soinst
eadoff i
ghti
ng, Idecidedtotr
y
andgetsomemor esleep, butthenI
rememberedthatIneedednewpr enatal
vit
ami
ns,becausemyot heroneswer elefti
n
JHB.

Ireal
l
ydidn’
twantt
ospeaktoSi
ya,
butIdi
dn’
t
exact
lyhavemuchofachoi
ce.
 
Iwentbackt
ohi
sof
fi
ce,
andmadei
tapoi
ntnot
t
oknock.Ij
ustwal
kedi
n.I
t’
smyhouseMos

Siyadi
dn’tbotherl
ooki
ngupfrom hi
slapt
op.I
thi
nkhej ustknewitwasme.SolennaIjust
stoodthere.Iwantedt
oseewhowoul dbethe
fi
rstt
ocr ack,andasal
waysitwashim.Lol

Hi
m; soyou’
regoi
ngt
ojustst
andt
her
eand
st
areatme 
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.I
’
m noti
nthemoodt
ofi
ght
 
Me;
good,
becauseIdi
dn’
tcomet
ofi
ght
Hi
m;sowhatcanIdof
ory
ou 
Me;don’
tspeakt
omel
i
keoneofy
ourst
aff
members
Hi
m; Rif
il
oe,
ifyouweremystaffmemberI
would’
veputyouiny
ourplacealongti
meago.
I
nsteadyouaremycrazy
,annoyingashel
l
,
stubbornasswi
fe.Whonev
erl
etsmef
ini
sha
sentence 
Me;
Im notst
ubbor
n 
Hi
m;y
ouknowy
ouar
e 
Me;
any
way
.That
’snotwhyIcame.
 
Hi
m;whydi
dyoucomet
hen 
Me;
Ineedmypr
enat
alv
itami
ns
Hi
m;shi
t.It
otal
l
yfor
got
Me;
andcl
othes 
Him;Il
ikey
ouwal
ki
ngar
oundwi
thj
ustmyshi
rt
on.Tur
nsmeon 
Me;
(chuckl
es)gety
ourheadoutt
hegut
ter
 
Hi
m;Ok.I
’
llgeti
tdone 
Me;
weneedt
otal
kaboutMam Mar
tha 
Hi
m;whatwoul
dyoul
i
ket
oknow 
Me;
wher
e’sSi
zwe 
Hi
m;can’
tsay
 
Me;
Siy
a,Ihav
eev
eryr
ightt
oknow 
Him;noyoudon’
t.Nowmov
eonf
rom t
hat
conv
ersat
ion 
Me;fi
ne.Hav
eyoui
nfor
medMam Mar
tha’
s
chi
l
dren? 
Him;Hereldesti
sonhi
swayhere.Ineedt
o
hel
phim sortoutaf
ewthi
ngs 
Me;
andt
hef
uner
al 
Hi
m;bei
ngpai
dforbyt
hest
ate
Me;
oh 
Him;Shewasempl
oyedbyt
heagency
.Soi
ts
onl
yright
 
Me;
ist
her
eany
thi
ngIcando 
Hi
m;no 
Me;
wheni
sthef
uner
al 
Hi
m;Sat
urday
 
Me;
wher
e 
Hi
m;KZN 
Me;
sowewi
l
lleav
eonFr
iday
 
Hi
m;y
es 
Me;
good 
Hi
m;We’
l
lst
ayatmymom f
orFr
idayni
ght
, 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;don’
tst
art
 
Me;
whatdi
dIsay
 
Hi
m;Iknowy
ou 
Me;
butbaby
,whycan’
twej
ustbookahot
el 
Hi
m;notupf
ordi
scussi
on 
Me;
yousuck 
Hi
m;(chuckl
es)Idon’
tli
key
oupr
egnant
.Your
t
emperisX100
Me;wel
lthat
’swhathappenswheny
ousl
eep
wi
thsomeone 
Hi
m;ar
eyougoi
ngt
oletmeexpl
ain,
orar
eyou
j
ustgoi
ngt
ocar
ryont
ryi
ngt
oannoyme?
Me;
expl
ainwhat
 
Hi
m;myr
esi
gnat
ion
Me;
whatabouti
t 
Hi
m;si
tdown

Iwentandmovedhi
slapt
opouttheway,soI
coul
dsitont
hetabl
eri
ghtinf
rontofhi
m

Hi
m;wehav
echai
rsy
ouknow 
Me;
sowhat
Hi
m;ok,
mov
ingf
orwar
d 
Me;
kemamet
se 
Him;I
’m def
ini
tel
yleav
ingt
hef
orce.Ther
e’sno
quest
ionaboutthat
Me;
but
 
Hi
m;l
etmef
ini
sh 
Me;
ok 
Him; Ij
ustneedtogetafewt hi
ngsinpl
acefi
rst
.
ThenIcanl eave,
despi
tethem decl
i
ningmy
request.We’r
elooki
ngatat i
meli
neofabout2
mont hs 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;I
m wai
ti
ng 
Me;
forwhat
 
Hi
m;andapol
ogy
 
Me;
forwhat
 
Hi
m;forst
ormi
ngoutl
i
kea5y
earol
d,anddon’
t
bl
amemybaby 
Me;
aski
esbaby
Hi
m;wabor
ayaz
Me;
Ilov
eyout
oo 
Him;ar
eyougoingt
obet
hismoodyt
hroughout
yourpr
egnancy
 
Me;
pret
tymuch 
Hi
m;Godandi
tsonl
ybeen4weeks 
Me;
stopexagger
ati
ng
Him;marababy.Ihonest
lyneedy
out
otown
downthecrazy
 
ME; Si
yait’
sthesecondti
menowthaty
ou’
ve
call
edmecr azy.Sayi
tonemoret
imeandi
llcut
offyourbal
ls 
Hi
m;babymar
a 
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;gi
vemeaki
ss 
Me;
comeandgeti
t

Si
yacamecloserandagav
emeaki
ss.Iwas
ki
ndoftur
nedonnow

Me;
lockt
hedoor
 
Hi
m;oh 
Me;
yes

Siy
alockedthedoorandwedi dthi
ngsthatI
cannotmention;).All
Icaredaboutwasthat
Siy
awasi ndeedresigni
ng,andthatwewould
gettoli
veanor malli
fewit
hhim andour
comingbaby
[
05/
14,
11:
48]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

128

Si
yawentouttogetmemymeds, whi
leIst
ayed
athomeandchill
ed.BoniandHl
okeshadgone
outfort
hedaysoi twasj
ustmeinthi
smassive
housedoingnot
hing.

Iwasr
eal
l
ycr
avi
ngMagnum i
cecr
eam,
soI
deci
dedt
ocal
lSi
ya.

Hi
m;baby
,I'
m att
hegat
e 
Me:
ooh
Hi
m:andnow 
Me:
I'
m cr
avi
ngi
cecr
eam 
Hi
m;t
her
e'si
cecr
eam i
nthedeepf
reeze
Me:
IwantMagnum 
Hi
m:mhmm

Siy
awal kedinwithawholelotofst
uff
.Ididn’
t
careaboutanyoft hatt
hough.Al
lIwantedwas
myi cecream andnothi
ngelse.

Me;
baby
 
Hi
m:I
'
m notgoi
ngoutagai
n 
Me:
buty
ourbabywant
smagnum 
Hi
m:haababe.I
'
m noti
nthemoodt
ogoout
 
Me:l
et'
sgot ot
hebeacht
oget
her
,thenwecan
geti
cecream
Him:
eishbabyIwaski
ndofHopi
ngt
oget
someworkdone 
Me:
wor
kcanwai
t 
Hi
m:gi
ve2hour
sandI
'
m al
,your
s
Me:
noSi
ya.Iwantt
ogonow 
Him:nanamaan.Bul
l
eti
sn'
taroundandt
her
e's
somethi
ngIneedtot
akecar
eof  
Me:
somet
hingl
i
ke 
Hi
m:y
ouknowIcan'
tdi
scusswor
kwi
thy
ou 
Me;
isi
taboutSi
zwe
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loeMaan 
Me:
soy
ouf
oundhi
m 
Hi
m:st
opi
t 
Me:
whatar
eyouhopi
ngt
odot
ohi
m 
Hi
m:can'
tsay
 
Me:
canIcomewi
th 
Hi
m:i
sthatat
ri
ckquest
ion 
Me: no.Ijustwantt
ospeaktohi
m.Iwantt
o
understandwhyhewoul dwantt
ohur
tme?I
thoughtwewer efri
ends 
Him; It
oldy
ouy out
rustt
ooeasil
y.Andthe
answerisno.Idon'
twantyouanywher
enear
thatass
Me:ok.Sol
et'
sgotot
hebeachf
ir
st,
thent
hen
youcangotowor
k
Him; can'
tIj
ustaskoneofmyguy
stogot
othe
garage 
Me:no.Iwantt
ogotot
hebeachwi
thy
ou,
then
youcangotowork

Si
yal
ookedsoconfl
ict
edbuti
didn'
tcar
e.Al
lI
want
edwashim andmyicecr
eam onthe
beach.I
sthatt
oomucht
oaskf
or?

Hi
m:f
ine 
Me:
thanks

Itooksomeofthethi
ngshehadcomewithand
tookapairofj
eansandat-
shi
rt
,andwentback
downstai
rs.

Si
yawasinthel oungewithhisl aptop.Ir
oll
ed
myeyesathim.I fi
twereupt ohi m hewould
work24/
7butl uckil
yforhim hehadacr azy
wi
fewhowoul dn'tl
ethim dot hat. 
Me;
I'
m done 
Hi
m:y
our
eal
l
ywantt
ogoout
Me:
yes
Hi
m:ok.
Si
yatookhi skeysandwewentt ot hecar
.Iwas
gl
adt hatwewer en'tt
akingsecuri
tywithus.I
wasov erhavi
ngt hem hoverall
aroundus.I
missedtheday swheni twasjustmeandSi ya.
Nogangs, noguns, noghost.Butjustmeand
Si
ya.

Wegoti
nthecarandSi
yadr
oveof
f.
 
Me:
Imi
ssedt
his 
Hi
m:what
 
Me:
peaceofmi
nd 
Hi
m:whatdoy
oumean 
Me:thati
tsfi
nal
l
yover
.Wecanfi
nal
lyj
ust
concent
rat
eonusandhav
inganormall
if
e
Hi
m:nor
mal
huh
Me:yah.Li
kewecangotothemovi
eswithout
youhavi
ngtotakey
ourgun.Andwecangoon
pr
operv
acat
ionswi
thoutt
heguar
ds.
 
Him:al
lI'
veknownisthi
sli
fe.Ij
usthopeI
adj
usteasi
lytot
hisnormall
ifeofyour
s

WhenSi yasaidthat
,myheartri
pped.Iknow
howmuchhi sjobmeanstohim, andi
tmustbe
diff
icultforhi
mt ogivei
tall
upf ormeandt he
baby ,andhereIwasactingall
happyabouthim
resi
gni ng,wheninfacti
twasprobablyeati
ng
him upi nsi
de.

Me:
baby
.I'
m sor
ry 
Hi
m:f
orwhat
 
Me:
forbeingsoinsensi
ti
ve.I
tmust
'v
ebeen
r
eal
l
ydiff
icul
tforyoutoquity
ourj
obforme 
Hi
m;l
et'
snott
alkaboutt
hat
 
Me:
why
 
Hi
m:pl
easej
ustdr
opi
t
Me:
fine

Ideci
dedtodropthesubj
ectsandjustkeep
quiet
,si
nceheclear
lywasn'
tinatal
kati
ve
mood..

Me:weshoul
dskiptheeach.Oract
ual
l
ylet
’s
j
ustgobackhome. 
Him:arey
ouki
ddingme?Yousai
dyouwantt
o
go.SoIdr
opever
ythi
ng,
andnowyoudon’
t
wanttogo

Me:Siya,Idon'
twanttobewithyouwhen
you’
rel
iket hi
s.I
'drat
hergohome!Ifeell
i
keI'
m
f
orci
ngy out ospendti
mewithme.Ifyou'
d
r
atherbeatwor k.Thengotowork.Nousefor
youtobeher eandnotbeful
lyhere
Si
yadidn'
tsayanyt
hing.Hejustdi
dau-
tur
nand
wesatinsi
lencet
her estoft
hewayhome.

Igotoutthecarandwentupst ai
rs.Whil
eSiy
a
wenttotheoffice.Iwasn'
tmadathim, Iwas
j
ustabithurtthathecouldn'
tseethatall
I
wantedwassomeofhi stime.

Ichangedi
ntoshort
s,andj
ustwatchedTV.
Therewasn'
treal
l
ymuchmor eIcoulddo.

Ataround4,Iwentdownstai
rstomakedinner
.
BoniandHlokesweresti
l
lout,butImade
enoughforal
lofanyway.

Iwasi nthemoodforseafood,butIwas
advisedtostayawayfr
om that
,soIsettl
edon
maki ngbutt
erchi
cken,
wit
hbasmat iri
ce,anda
Greeksalad.
WhenIwasdoneIwentupst ai
rstohave
shower.IhadspokentoSi yasincehehadleftin
theaft
ernoonandIwasn' tsureifithewas
cominghomef ordinnerorifhewoul dbe
cominghomel at
e.Iknowt heonl ywaytofind
outwouldbeformet ocal lhi
m, butmypri
de
wouldn'
tletme.I
nsteadIwentandhadmy sel
f
anicelongandrefr
eshingshower .

WhenIwasdone, IworemyPJshortswithone
ofhisT-shi
rtsandcall
edmyaunt.Ihadn'
ttol
d
herIwaspr egnantandIt
houghti
twouldbe
bestifsheknew

He:
Manana 
Me:
Rakgadi
 
Her
:howar
eyoumyl
ove 
Me:
I'
m ok.Justmi
ssy
ou 
Her
:I'
l
lcomev
isi
tsoon
Me:
I'
dli
ket
hat
. 
Her
;how'
smar
ri
edl
i
fet
reat
ingy
ou 
Me:
mhmm i
t'
sok.Iguess 
Her;j
ustok?Youguysarenewlywedsyou
shoul
dbehav i
ngtheti
meofy ourl
ives 
Me:maybewithti
me,butf
ornowwe'
ret
aki
ng
t
hingsonedayatati
me
Her;t
hat'showmar r
iagei
sManana.Someday s
aregreatandsomeday sarehor
ri
ble.Youj
ust
havetopr ayabouti
tandmoveon
Me:
Ihav
enewsf
ory
ou 
Her
:what
'swr
ong 
Me:
not
hing’
swr
ong.I
'
m ahmm 
Her
:Ri
fi
loebuahl
e 
Me:
I'
m pr
egnant
 
Her
;that
'sgr
eatnewsnana.Youmustbeso
exci
ted 
Me;
IguessIam 
Her
:youdon'
tsoundi
t 
Me:
Iam.It
hinki
t'
sjustt
aki
ngt
imet
osi
nki
n 
Her:Rif
iloe,
achi
l
disabl
essingfr
om God.Be
grat
eful.Somewomanwouldkil
ltobei
ny our
posi
tion 
Me:
yourr
ightRakgadi
 
Her
:sowhenistheweddi
ng?Youshoul
dget
marr
iedbef
orey
oustartt
oshow 
Me:Ihaven'
tthoughtaboutaweddi
ng.May
be
oncebabyhasar r
ived 
Her:Idon’
tknowaboutthat
.Ineedt
ospeakt
o
yourmotherinl
awfi
rst 
Me:ahmm, Rakgadicanyouwaitabit
?Ij
ust
needtoconfi
rm wit
hSiyaifhe'
stol
dHeryet
 
Her
:Rifi
l
oe,howmayt i
mehaveIt
oldyounott
o
Cal
,yourhusbandbyhi
sname?Whereist
he
r
espectMar
a? 
Me;
eishRakgadi
hle 
Her:
don'
tRakgadime.Thatmani sol
dert
han
youandhei
sy ourhusband.Hedeser
ves
r
espect
Me:
aski
eshe
Her:y
ouneedt ogettheweddi
nggoi
ng.Ineed
youhomef orawhil
esoIcanteachy
ousome
t
hingsaboutmarri
age.
Me:
okRakgadi
.I'
vegot
ogo 
Her
:don’
ttr
yav
oidi
ngme.
 
Me;I
m not
.Il
lcal
lyouonceIknowSi
yahast
old
hi
smom aboutthebabt
 
Her
;youdot
hat
 
Me:
okby
e 
Her
;by
emanana
Icutthecall
andletoutasi gh.Iknowmyaunt
wasright,
butIjustdidn'twanttoadmi
tit
.She
sawSi y
aast hi
schar mingmanwhohasno
wrongs,butIknowt herealSiya,
andhehasa
l
otofsidestohim.

Ideci
dedtoswal
lowmypri
deandalessmy
hubby.I
twasaft
er7pm,
andImissedhi
m.

Hi
m:bossl
ady
 
Me:
hinai
l
s.Howar
eyou 
Hi
m:I
'
m goodandy
ou 
Me:
good.CanIspeakt
oSi
yapl
ease?
Him:sor
rymam.He'
ski
ndofi
nthemi
ddl
eof
somethi
ng 
Me:
oh.Ahmm t
ell
himt
ocal
lmewhenhehasa
moment
Hi
m:wi
l
ldo 
Ifel
tabi
tannoyedthatSi
yahadn'
tcal
l
edmef or
thewhol
eafter
noonandnowwhenIcal l
he’
s
busynxa

Ikeptmy sel
foccupiedbyreadingupon
pregnancy.IknowIhadsaidIwoul dt r
ynotto
gettooexcitedincaseanythi
nghappened, but
themor eIread,themoreIgotexcited.Iwas
real
lyhopingwewoul dhaveagi rl
.Icouldgo
shoppingwithher ,
anddoherhai randdecorat
e
herroom withallsort
sofgirl
ystuff.

Iendedupf all
i
ngasl
eepont hecouch,wi
thone
ofSiya’
slaptopinmylap.IwokeupwhenI
heardsomeonecomi ngin.Igotupandsaw
Siy
acomi ngin

Hi
m:It
houghty
ouwoul
dbef
astasl
eepbynow 
Me:
Ifel
lasl
eepont
hecouch 
Hi
m:l
et'
sgot
obed
Me:
don'
tyouwantt
oeatf
ir
st?
Him:i
t'
sbeenal
ongday
.I'
dli
ket
ojustgot
o
bed 
Me:
ok 
Him:y
oul
ookexhaust
ed.Wantmet
ocar
ryy
ou
up?
Me:
I'
ll
wal
k

Wewentupstair
s, andIgotintobedand
i
mmedi at
elyf
ell
sleep.Iwant edtospeakt
oSiy
a
abouthowIwasf eeli
ng,butIdecidedt
orat
her
j
ustseep.Maybewi thti
met hingswoul
dget
backtonormal
.

WhenIwokeupt henextmor ni
ngSiy
awasn’ti
n
bed.Icouldsmellhi
sshowergel ,
soIknewhe
hadalreadyshowered.Igotup,madethemade
andopenedthewi ndows,thenwenttotakea
shower.Iwasn’
tfeeli
ngtoonauseous,soI
wantedtocapit
ali
zeont hatandhaveapr oper
breakf
ast.

OnceIwasdressedIwentdownstai
rs,
andI
foundSi
ya,Hl
okes,BoniandsomeguyIdi
dn’
t
knowatthebreakf
asttabl
e.

Me;
mor
ning 
Them;
Mor
ning.

Siy
astoodupandi ntroducedmet oSabel
o.
Sabel
owast hekindofguywewomanr ef
ert
o
asdarkchocol
atet hatyoujustwanttoeatup.
HewasMam Mar tha’soldestson.He
appar
entl
yisalsoint heforce,buthei
sbased
i
nLondon.
Hi
m;sot
hisi
sthebossl
ady
 
Si
ya;
theoneandonl
y 
Hi
m; wel
lIseewhyy
ouar
ewi
l
li
ngt
ogi
veal
lof
t
hisupforher
. 
Si
ya;
Axe.Behav
e 
Hi
m;what
.I’
mjustadmi
ri
ngt
hev
iew

Ok.Itakebackev er
ythi
ngIsaidaboutSabel
o.I
coul
dj ustt
ell
thathewasgoi ngtoannoythe
dayl
ightsoutofme.Hehadt hatwonderingeye.
Li
kehewasundr essi
ngy ouwit
hhiseye.

Il
etgoofSiy
a’ahandandwenttomakemy sel
f
acupofrooi
bos.ForsomereasonIkindoffel
t
abitawkwar
d.Li
keev er
yonewaslookingatme.

Imademytea,
andsi
gnal
ledf
orBonit
ocome
upst
air
swi
thme.Imi
ssedtal
ki
ngtoher.We
hadn’
treal
l
yspokenmuchsi
ncewegotoutt
he
pani
croom.

Shet
ookmyhandwel
eftt
heguy
sdownst
air
s.

Her;ohhankGoodness.Iwasst
art
ingt
oget
annoyed
Me;
tel
lmeabouti
t 
Her
;If
eel
li
keIhav
en’
tseeny
oui
nfor
ever
 
Me;
met
oo.
 
Her
;sot
ell
mewhat
’spoppi
ng 
Me;not
hingmuch.Justbeenl
azi
ngher
ethe
whol
eti
me 
Her
;I’
m gr
atef
ulIgotspendsomet
imewi
th
Hl
okes 
Me;
yout
ool
ookv
eryhappy
 
Her
;yah.I
’
mjustgl
adhe’
sal
i
ve 
Me;
Met
oo 
Her
;soappar
ent
lyLi
ndai
sduet
hisweek
Me;
eish 
Her;IknowI ’
m bei
ngself
ish,butI’
m notsur
eim
comf or
tablewit
hhim bei
ngi ntheroom,butshe
i
nsiststhatheneedstobet her
e 
Me;
whatdoeshewantt
odo 
Her
;hesay
sImustdeci
de 
Me;
damn 
Her;Idon’twanthi
mt obethere.Butatt
he
samet i
met hisi
shischi
ld,
andIdon’ twantt
o
standinthewayofhishappinesswheni t
comest ohisson
Me;
son 
Her
;yah.
.it
’saboy
 
Me;I’
m sor
rymyf
ri
end.IknowhowLi
ndacan
be 
Her
;Iwantt
oknowwhaty
ouwoul
ddo 
Me;idl
ethi
m bet
her
efort
hebi
rt
h.I
tonl
y
seemsfai
r.
 
Her
;Iknowy
ou’
rer
ight
,buti
tisn’
teasy
 
Me;
nothingl
iket
hisi
snevereasy,
butyouhave
t
obiggerper
soninal
lthi
s,f
orthebabysake 
Her
;mhmmm

Il
eanedi
nandgavemygirl
ahug.Iknowshe
mustbefeel
i
ngl
ikeshi
t.

Her
;weshoul
dgetdr
unk 
Me;
oh 
Her
;andt
hat
Me;
Icantexact
lydot
hat
 
Her
;whyt
hehel
lnot
 
Me;
ahhm 
Her
;no 
Me;
yes 
Her
;you’
repr
egnant
 
Me;
yes 
Her
;whydi
dn’
tyousayany
thi
ng 
Me;wel
l,wit
hever
ythi
ngt
hat
’sbeenhappeni
ng.
Idi
dn’
texactl
yhav
et i
me 
Her
;comeher
e 
Boni
gav
emeahugandj
ustsmi
l
ed

Her;
well
ifwecan’
tdri
nk,
weshoul
datl
east
f
indanot
herwaytocel
ebr
ate 
Me;
let
’sdoaspaday
 
Her
;yes
Me;
I’
ll
gobooki
t 
Her
;I’
l
lbei
nmyr
oom.Ineedt
oshower
.

Boni
lef
t,andIwal
keddownst
air
stoSi
ya’
s
offi
ce.Iwantedtogetalapt
opandhisphone
thatIusedyester
daytocall
him wi
th.

WhenIapproachedhisoff
ice,
thedoorwasn’t
cl
osed.Icouldheart
hem t
alki
ng,andIheard
myname.Iknowi t’
swrongtoeasedrop,butI
wasint
erestedinwhatwasbeingsai
d

Sabelo;
soG.Youhonest
lyl
eav
ingt
hef
orce
becauseofy
ourgi
rl
Hi
m;y
oumeanbecauseofmywi
fe.Yes 
Sabel
o;butGlet
’sbehonest
.Doy
our
eal
l
yhav
e
i
tinyoutoli
veanormalli
fe?
 
Hi
m;dude,
it’
snotl
i
keIhav
eachoi
ce 
Sabel
o;whatpossessedyoutogetmarr
ied
mara?YouandIusedt obethebi
ggestpar
ty
ani
malsali
ve.Andnowy ougoandsettl
edown
Hi
m;Iguessi
t’
sthel
ovebugnt
wana 
Sabel
o;butGhost
.It
’sj
ustt
hetwoofusher
e.
Areyouhonest
lyr
eadyfort
his?
 
Hi
m;It
hinkIam 
Sabel
o;y
out
hink 
Him; dude.Likedon’ tgetmewr ong.Ilov emy
wifewithev ery t
hingi nme,butatti
mesIj ust
feell
ikerunni ng.Likel i
fewassomuchl ess
compl i
catedbef oreIbecamecommi tted.Iwas
sousedt ojustget ti
ngachi ckf
orani ghtand
beingdonewi thher .Butnowwi thRifi
l
oei t
s
diff
erent.Iact uall
yhav etoputi
nanef fort,and
withmyj ob, andNdhl ovuCorp,
Ijustdon’ tseem
tobemaki ngherhappy
Sabl
eo;
whatdoy
oumean
Him;dud.Shei
salwaysgoi
ngonabout
every
thi
ng.Andwe’r
ealwaysdi
scussi
ngt
hings.
Itj
ustgett
oomuchsomet i
me 
Sabel
o;somaybey
ouneedtor
eev al
uat
eyour
l
if
eandseeift
hisi
swhatyout
rul
ywant 
Him;
Ilov
eherman.Likewi
thever
yboneinme,
andi
fshewantsanormall
i
fe,t
henI’
m goi
ngt
o
gi
veheranor
malli
fe 
Sabel
o;ev
eni
fthatmeansy
ou’
l
lbeunhappy
 
Hi
m;ev
enso

Iwalkedawayf r
om Si ya’soffi
cewi t
hahuge
l
umpi nmyt hroat .IknowIwasnev ermeantt o
hearthat,
butittot al
lybrokemyhear t.Ihadno
i
deaSi yafel
tthatway .LikewasIsuchanagger
thathewouldsayt hingsl i
kethattothisSabel o
dude.Andwhywashegi vi
nguphi sJobi nthe
forceformeifhedi dn’twantt o.I
t’
snotl i
keI
madehi m doit.Ireallythoughtwewer egoing
tomov eonandbehappy ,butnowIwasscar ed
thathewouldr esentmei nt hefut
ure,forbeing
thereasonhel efthisforce.
[
05/
14,
11:
49]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
129

Iwentbacktomyroom t
otakeamomentt
o
mysel
f.Iwastr
yingr
eal
lyhar
dnottobe
emoti
onal,
butIwasfai
l
ingdi
small
y.
 
Isatonthebed,
foramomentthengathered
thecour
agetogobackdownstair
s.Ir
eal
lyfel
t
l
ikehavi
ngaspaday,andIdi
dn’twanthi
mt o
rui
nit

Iwentbackt
ohisoff
ice,andknockedont
he
door
.Theybothf
ell
silent
,andSiyatol
dmeto
comein

Hi
m;heybabe 
Me;
hey
.Aahmm CanIhav
easec
Hi
m;sur
e.
Siyalef
tSabel
oInt
heof
fi
ceandwewal
kedt
o
thelounge

Hi
m;what
’sup 
Me;
Ineedt
oknowhowIcangoaboutget
ti
nga
f
ewthi
ngsdone
Hi
m;t
hingsl
i
ke 
Me;Ineedtobuyanewphone.Thengetanew
l
apt
op, andspendt
her
estofthedayataspa 
Hi
m;y
ouok?
Me;
I’
m gr
eat

Si
yal
ookedatmeandIlookedaway,
Ijustknew
i
fhel
ookedproper
ly,
hewouldknowsomet hi
ng
waswrong 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
baby
 
Hi
m;what
’swr
ong 
Me;
Not
hingSi
ya.I
’
m sur
eit
’sj
ustt
hebaby
. 
Hi
m;doy
ouf
eel
sick 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;ar
eyousur
e
Me;
100% 
Hi
m;ok.I
llseewhatIcando 
Me;Si
ya.Youdon’thav
etot
akeme.Boni
andI
canUberther
e. 
Hi
m;y
ouknowIwoul
dnev
erl
ety
oudot
hat
 
Me;
sowhatnow 
Hi
m;I
’
llgetsomeonet
otakey
ou 
Me;
CanIr
atherj
ustdr
ivet
her
e 
Hi
m;wi
thwhatcar
 
Me;
Il
ltaket
heMer
c
Hi
m;Ineedt
hecar
sforwor
ktoday
 
Me;
sowhatdoy
ousuggest
Hi
m;Isuggesty
ouhav
ethespacomeher
e
i
nst
ead
Me;baby,
Ireal
lyneedtogetoutoft
hehouse.I
needsomefreshairpl
ease 
Hi
m;I
llgety
ouanewcart
oday
Me;
canwej
usthol
duponal
loft
hat
.
Him;whyyou’
regoi
ngt
oneedanewcar
.The
carsi
nJHB,arebey
ondrepai
rabl
e 
Me;
sigh 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe
Me;i
tsfine.ForgetIsai
dany
thi
ng.I
llbe
upst
air
si fyouneedme

Igotup,
butSi
yahel
dmyhand

Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
yesl
ove 
Hi
m; Icanseesomet
hingi
sbot
her
ingy
ou.Just
t
ell
mewhati ti
s 
Me;Baby.AllIwantedwast ogetaf ewthi
ngs
i
nplace.Ineedal aptop,somemor ecl
othes
andawhol elotofthi
ngs.IwasjusthopingI
coul
ddot hattodayinsteadofsi
tt
inghereand
wait
ingforyoutocomehome 
Him;makeal
i
stoft
hingsy
ouneedandI
llgeti
t
done 
Me;
don’
twor
ryabouti
t
Hi
m;whynot
Me;Siya,
Idon’tl
ikehav
ingpeopl
edothingsli
ke
t
hisforme.Youknowt hat.Soi
fIcan’
tgo,t
hen
i
tsfi
ne.Il
ljustst
ayhome
Hi
m;ok

Igotupagai
n,andwentt
oBoni
.It
oldheri
twas
bestwecancel t
het ri
p.Igotthefeeli
ngI
i
nterruptedsomet hingbetweenherandHl okes,
becausesheonl yhadat owel wr
appedar ound
her.SoIl ef
therandwentt othekit
chen.If el
t
l
ikebaking, soIdecidedtomakesconesanda
redvelvetcake.AfterbakingIdecidedtoget
l
unchgoi ng.Imadepap, Chickenstew,beet r
oot
,
pumpki nandchakal aka.

Si
yacamet
otheki
tchenasIwasf
ini
shi
ngup

Hi
m;smel
l
samaz
ing 
Me;
I’
m near
lydone.I
lldi
shupf
ory
ounow 
Hi
m;whatdi
dIdot
ogetahomemademeal
f
rom y
ou 
Me;
Ijustf
eltl
i
kecooki
ng,
that
’sal
l
 
Hi
m;ar
eweok 
Me;
ofcour
sewear
e.Whywoul
dyout
hink
ot
her
wise?
 
Hi
m;Youseem abi
tof
f
Me;
babyI
’
mfi
ne.Real
l
y. 
Hi
m;ok

If
inishedoffmakinglunch,
andlayi
tonthe
di
ningr oom t
abl
e.Siy
awentt ocal
lever
yone 
Weal ldi
shedupanddugi n.Theconversat
ion
wasf l
owing,butIwasn’
treal
lyconcent
rati
ng.I
thoughtIwasgoingtobeabletoletgoofwhat
Siyahadsaid,buti
twasreall
yeatingmeup.  
Ireal
lydidn’twanthimr esentingmef ormaki ng
hi
ml eavet hef or
ce,butatt hesametimeI
di
dn’twanthi m stayingifthatmeantourchi l
d
wouldbei ndanger .Itsoundedlikeher eally
missedhi soldl i
feandthatmademef eel so
bad.Ireall
yt houghtitwouldbebestt odi scuss
i
twi t
hhim, butatt hesamet i
meIdidn’twantt o
nag.
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe

Il
ookedupathi
m

Hi
m;y
ouar
emi
l
esaway
 
Me;
oh.Sor
ry.wer
eyousay
ingsomet
hing 
Hi
m;wewer
eal
ltal
ki
ngaboutt
heweddi
ng
Me;
whatabouti
t 
Hi
m;i
fwehaddeci
dedonadat
e 
Me;
ohahmm notasy
et

Bonil
ookedatmewit
haconcer
nedlook.Igav
e
afai
ntsmil
eandcar
ri
edoneati
ng.
 
Afterl
unch,
Iwenttot
hekit
chentoloadthe
dishesi
nthedi
shwasher
,andser
veddessert,
thenwenttomyroom.Myfeetwereabitsaw
f
rom st
andi
ng,
andIwant
edt
oputt
hem up.
Si
yacameupwi
thapi
eceofr
edv
elv
etcakef
or
me 
Hi
m;y
oudi
dn’
tst
ayf
ordesser
t
Me;
Ijustwant
edt
oputmyf
eetup 
Hi
m;Iboughtsomecake 
Me;
thanky
ou

Heputt hecakeonasi det

abl
e,whi
leIlooked
thedif
ferentchannels.Si
yast
oodtherestari
ng.
Ididn’
tlookhisway .Ij
ustcar
ri
edonlookingat
thechannels

Hi
m;ar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lmewhat
sgoi
ngon 
Me;
babyIt
old 
Hi
m;don’tl
iet
omeagain.Icanseesomet
hing
i
swrong.Youwer
edi
stantduri
nglunch
Me;
imj
ustt
ir
edt
hat
’sal
l
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;y
oul
ovet
ohav
emebegne
Me;
hawSi
ya,
whatdi
dIsay
 
Hi
m;mxm y
oul
ovedr
amay
az

Iwashonestl
yconf
used.Idi
dn’
tsayanyt
hing
I’
m wrong.I
fIt
alkt
henI’
m naggi
ng.Whatam I
supposeddo.

Hi
m;I
’
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou 
Me;
babyI
’
mfi
ne.Ser
iousl
y 
Hi
m; i
m notdoi
ngthi
sshitwi
thy
ouagai
n.
Maybeonceyou’
vegrownupyoucant
ell
me
whatt
hehelli
sgoingon.
Si
yawal kedoutandsl ammedt hedoor,
andIlet
outasi
gh.Ir eall
ydidn’tknowwhattodo.SoI
di
dnothing.Ijustkeptstuffi
ngmyfacewith
j
unk.Iwasgoi ngtogetf atanyway
,soImight
aswellenjoymy sel
f. 
Bonicametojoinmeandwewentcr azy.We
movedfrom ourroom t
othelounge,becausei
t
wasobviousl
ymor econveni
ent,
sinceitwas
cl
osertothekit
chen.

Hlokeshadbet
ray
edusandlef
twi
thSiy
aand
Sabelo,
soitwasj
ustmeandmygir
leati
ngour
l
ungsout .

Her
;If
eel
li
kebur
ger
s 
Me;
doesMcDdel
i
ver
 
Her
;It
hinkso 
Me;
let
’scal
lMrDel
i
ver
y
Weorder
edribsfr
om Spur
,Bur
ger
sfr
om St
eer
s
andPi
zzafr
om thePi
zzahut 
Ourfoodarri
vedaft
eraboutanhourandwedug
i
n.Iknowfizzydr
inksweren’
trecommended,
butIwasreall
ycravi
ngsome.SoIonlyhadone
gl
ass.

Siy
aandt heguyswalkedinaswewer eeati
ng.
Bonir
oll
edherey es,
andIgiggled.Mi
ndyouI
hadaburgerintheonehand, andasl
iceof
pi
zzaintheother.Wewer esi
tti
ngonthecarpet
wit
hthefoodlayedinfrontofus.

Si
yawal
kedi
nandj
ustshookhi
shead.Ismi
l
ed
atHi
m. 
Hl
okesburstoutl
aughi
ng,
whi
l
eSabl
ojust
st
oodther
e.
Si
ya;
soy
ouguy
sar
etr
yingt
oki
l
lyour
sel
ves 
Il
ookedatBoniandsher
oll
edherey
es,
andwe
j
ustkeptoneat
ing.

Hl
okessatnextt
oBoniandj
ustst
art
edeat
ing.
Si
yadi
dn’tt
akehisey
esoffme
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;Swal
l
owmaanRi
fi
loe 
Igi
ggl
edandswal
l
owed.

Hi
m;ar
eyougoi
ngt
osi
tther
eandj
ustst
areat
me 
Hi
m;ar
eyout
ryi
ngt
oki
l
lmybaby
 
Me;
Siy
a,j
ustgoawayandl
etmegetf
at 
Sabel
osatdownandhadPi zza,whi
l
eSiyasat
onthecouchandchangedtheTVchannelt
o
sport
s.MindyouIwaswatchingTLCnxa
Aft
erwecouldn’
teatanymore,BoniandI
packedever
ythi
ngawayandsati nt
hel ounge
wit
ht heguy
s.Isnuggl
ednexttoSiy
a, andjust
watchedsoccer
,whil
etheychatt
ed.
 
Aft
ersometi
me,Ideci
dedtogobat
h,becauseI
coul
djustf
eelsl
eepcomingon.

Siy
acameupwi t
hmeandshower edwhileI
bathed.Iki
ndoffel
tli
kewewer edrif
ti
ng.Iwas
sousedt ohav
ingusshowerorbat htoget
her,
andherehewasi ntheshowerbyhimself.

Aft
erbat
hing,IputmyPJ’sonandgoti
ntobed.
Si
yawasdonewaybef oreme,andwasonhis
l
aptopasalways.

Me;
goodni
ght
Hi
m;sowe’
renotgoi
ngt
otal
kaboutt
his
t
ensi
onbet
weenus
Me;
whatt
ensi
on 
Hi
m;sot
hingsseem nor
mal
toy
ou 
Me;
Siy
apl
ease 
Him;Ri
fi
loe.Ineedt
oknowwhat
’sbot
her
ing
you 
ME;
fine 
Hi
m;I
’
m wai
ti
ng 
Me;Iov
erhear
dyouspeaki
ngt
oSabel
oear
li
er
t
oday 
Hi
m;whatdi
dyouhear
 
Me;
ever
ythi
ng 
Hi
m;oh 
Me;
canIsl
eepnow 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
Icanexpl
ain 
ME;
ther
e’snoneed.Youwer
ejustbei
ng
honest
 
Hi
m;baby
,it
’snotl
i
kehowy
out
hink 
Me;Si
ya.I
’m notmad.Ij
ustdi
dn’
tknowt
hat
’s
howyoufel
t,andnowIdo 
Hi
m;don’
tbel
i
ket
his 
Me;
li
kehow 
Hi
m;y
ouknowIl
ovey
ou 
Me;
yesIdo.
 
Him;soIdon’
twantyoutot
aket
hat
conv
ersat
ionoutofcont
ext
 
Me;
Siy
acanwej
ustdr
opt
his.
 
Hi
m;no,
becauseIcanseei
tshur
tyou 
Me;Ij
ustdi
dn’tknowIwassuchabur
den,
or
t
hatyoumissedbeingsi
ngl
e 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
Itsj
ust
 
Me;
don’
t.Justl
eav
eit
 
Hi
m;t
hisi
sthepr
obl
em Ri
fi
loe.Younev
erl
et
mefini
shadamnsentence.I
’
mtr
yingt
oexpl
ain
buty
oujustkeepcut
ti
ngmeof

Siy
a’stonewasst ar
ti
ngtopi
ssmeoff.Hi
s
constantl
ashingoutwasgoi
ngt
ojustannoy
meev enmor e.

Me;
Goodni
ght

Icover
edmyf acewi t
htheduvetandtr
iedto
getsomesleep.Ireal
lyj
ustwantedtokeepthe
peace,andIknewifwecarri
edonwi t
ht hi
s
conver
sati
ontherewouldbewor l
dwar3i nthi
s
house.

Siy
agotupandgotdr essed.Ihadnoidea
whereheplannedongoing,andIwasn’tgoi
ng
tobothert
oask,becauseIwouldbetoldthat
I
’m anaggingwif
e. 
It
ri
edf al
li
ngasleep,butsl
eepwasnowhereto
befound.Ikeptthi
nkingaboutSi
ya,
andthat
wasn’thel
ping.
 
Iwant
edtocal
lhi
m andaskwherehewasbutI
j
ustdeci
dedt
olethi
m be.Hewouldcome
homewhenhewasready 
Ifellasl
eepaf ter3am, andtherewasst i
ll
no
Siya.BynowIwaspi ssedbey ondwords.Iget
hewasmadbutf orhimt obeouttil
ltheearl
y
hour softhemor ni
ngwasunaccept able.He
wasamar r
iedmanf orGod’ssake,andI’m
certaini
fitwasmewewoul dbehav i
nga
diff
erentconv ersat
ion.

Iwokeupt hefoll
owingmor ningandSiyawas
stil
lnothome.NoIwasl i
vid.Hehadj ustpr
oved
hewant edtobesingle.Ihav enoideawhyhe
didn’tj
ustl
eavemeandgodowhat everthe
fuckhewant stodo.
It
ookashower
,andwentdownst
air
stomake
br
eakf
ast,
whenIsawSiy
aandSabelowal
ki
ng
i
nmakingahel
lofanoi
se. 
Itookadeepbreath,andtol
dmysel
ftokeep
calm.Sabelogr
eetedmeandwentstraightt
o
theguestroom,whil
eSiyali
nger
edatthe
kit
chendoor.

Idi
dn’
tsayany
thi
ng.Ij
ustcar
ri
edonwi
thwhatI
wasdoing.

Hi
m;Iknowy
ou’
remadatme

Idi
dn’
tanswer
,becauseIwasl
i
vid,
butdi
dn’
t
wantt
osayit

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
ngi
khul
umanawe 
Me;
Siy
a,i
tscool
.
Hi
m;canwet
alk 
Me;
wear
etal
ki
ng 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.

Yho,Ij
ustlostit
.Li
kemyfusejustbl
ew.Was
thi
smanf uckingser
iousmar
a. 
Ihadapl
atei
nmyhandandIjustt
hrewi
tat
hi
m.Heduckedandi
thi
tthewall

Hi
m;Thef
ucky
oudoi
ng

Igrabbedanot
heroneandi
thi
thi
shandashe
ducked

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;y
ouf ucki
ngbar
star
d.Howcanyoutal
kto
t
hati
diotaboutusl
i
kethat?I
myourwif
efor
Godssake 
Igr
abbedanot
herpl
ateandi
thi
tthewal
l

Me; y
ouf orgetsoeasi l
yhowmuchwe’ v
elost
becauseofy ourJob.Il ostmychi l
drenSiya.All
becauseofy ourfuckingJob.Il ostmyparent s
Siy
aok.Il ostashitload, andnowy outell
t hat
i
diotthatyou’r
eonlyqui ttingbecauseofme.  
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.I
 
Me; NoSiya.Ibeggedyouami l
l
iontimest olet
mego.IbeggedbecauseIknewIdi dn’thave
thewil
ltodoi t
,butyoukeptcomingback.Iwas
nearl
ykil
ledtwiceandmam Mar thalosther
l
ife.
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
fucky
ouSi
ya.OkFuckYou 
Ipi
ckedupaglassandjustst
artedhit
ti
ngthem
onthefl
oor
.Iwassopissed,Icouldn’
tcont
rol
myself
.
Si
yagr
abbedt
hepl
ate,
andputi
tdown

Hi
m;wi
l
lyoust
opbef
orey
ouhur
tyour
sel
f 
Me;
gety
ourhandsof
fme 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
wil
lyouacty
ouragef
oronce 
Me;
Got
ohel
l

Hel
etgoandl
ookedatme 
Hi
m;whatdoy
ouwantmet
odo 
Me;nothi
ng.Iwantyout
ostayi
nthef
orceand
l
iv
ey oursingl
eli
fe,
andl
eav
emeandmybaby
t
hehellalone 
Hi
m;y
oudon’
tmeant
hat
 
Me;JustGoSi
ya.Godoy ouandjuststop
pr
etendi
ngtobereadytobethesocalledfami
l
y
manbecauseit
’sobvi
ousthatyouaren’t
 
Hi
m; Forthel
oveofGodRif
il
oe,
stopbei
ngso
dr
amat i
c.Il
eftt
hefor
ce,
whatmoredoyou
wantfr
om me 
Me; Iwanty out
omanupandst opwhi ni
ng
aboutit.Ihadalif
ebeforeyouthatIgaveup.I
haven’tseenmyf ri
endsinover6mont hsSi
ya.I
l
eftmyj ob,butyoudon’thearmewhi ni
ngabout
i
t.Sucki t
 
Him;I
tshardRi
fi
loe.Thi
sissomet
hingIbui
l
t,
andst
il
lI’
m wal
kingaway. 
Me;maybeify
ouhadbeenhonestaboutwho
youwerefr
om thebegi
nni
ng,
wewouldn’thav
e
hadtoenduphere

Hi
sphoner
ang,
andIl
ookedathi
m 
Me;
don’
tev
ent
hinkabouti
t 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.I
tswor
k 
Me;
itsal
way
swor
k 
Him;whatdoy
ouwantf
rom meRi
fi
loe.Ye.
Justt
ell
me 
Me;rightnowIwantabsolut
elynot
hingfr
om
you,becauseIwouldn’
twanttohaveyoutel
l
yourfri
endsthatIwasnaggi
ng

Si
ya,
justanswer
edt
hephoneandwal
ked
away
. 
Ij
ustdidn’
tgethowhet houghthecoulddoas
hepleasesandexpectsmet obeokwi thi
t.We
wereexpecti
ngababyandal lIwantedwasto
gi
vemychi l
danor malli
fewithouthav
ingto
worr
yaboutbeingkil
led.

Itur
nedar oundandletoutasi
gh, and
i
mmedi atelyst
art
edf eel
i
ngabitof f
.Ifelt
nauseous,li
keIwasaboutt of
aint.Iheldont
o
thesinkfordearl
if
eandt ri
edbreathi
ng.
Boni
wal
kedi
nandst
oodnextt
ome

Her
;Ri
fi
loe.What
’swr
ong?

Idi
dn’
thavet
heener
gyt
oanswer
,inst
eadIhel
d
onti
ght
er.

Boni
scr
eamedforHl
okes,andhecamej
usti
n
ti
measIwasaboutt
oblankout.

ME;
stopf
ussi
ng.I
mfi
ne 
Hi
m;y
ounear
lyf
aint
edRi
fi
loe 
Me;
Imf
ine.Ij
ustneededamoment
 
Hi
m; i
fyoutwocar
ryonl
i
ket
hissy
ouar
egoi
ng
t
olosethi
sbaby 
Me;
Hlokes,
justst
opwi
tht
hel
ect
ure.
Bonigav
emeabot
tl
eofwat
er,
andIgul
pedi
t
down.

Him;weneedtogety
out
othehospi
tal
tomake
suret
hebaby’
sok 
Me;
I’
m sur
eit
’snot
hing 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.
 
Me;
Fine,
justgi
vemeasec

Hegav
eBoni
hiskey
s

Hi
m;babe,
wil
lyoubr
ingt
hecarar
ound

Boni
tookt
hekey
sandr
ushedout

Hi
m;gi
vemeasec,
im goi
ngt
ofet
chghost
 
Me;
no.Pl
easedon’
t
Hlokesshookhi
sheadandwentupst
airs.Si
ya
camer ushi
ngdown.Hehadwassopale.

Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
I’
mfi
ne

Theybot
hhel
pedmeupandwewentt
othecar
.

whenIgottot
hehospi
tal
,thedoct
orsputme
onadri
p,andransometests.

HlokesandBoni l
eft
,sotheycoul
dgiveme
somespace.Si y
aandIsatinsil
encesometi
me.
Ididn’
treal
lywanttosayanyt
hingtohi
m.Iwas
j
ustsot i
redoffi
ghti
ngandjustneededt
otake
careofmy sel
fandmybaby .
Thedoct
orcamei
nwi
tht
her
esul
ts.

Hi
m;Mr
sNdhl
ovu 
Me;
sor
ryDoc 
Hi
m;Sor
rywet
ooksol
ong.
 
Me;
nowor
ri
ed 
Him; Ok.SoIseeher ethatyourhighblood
pressureisthroughtheroof.Whichisn’
theal
thy
forthebaby .Thiscanbecausedbyanumber
ofthings,butinyourcasebecauseofy ourageI
wouldassoci ateitwi
thstr
ess.

Si
yal
ookedatmeembar
rassed

Him;Im goi
ngtoputyouonbedrestf
ort
he
nextmonth.Ineedyout
ostaycal
m.No
str
essi
ngatallok 
Me;
yesdoc 
Him;I
llneedy
outocomei never
yweek,sowe
cankeepmakingsur
ethatthebabyi
sok 
Me;
wil
ldo
Hi
m;f
ornow,
justt
akei
teasy

Thedoct
orl
eftandIwasdi
schar
ged.
 
Siy
aandIsati nsilenceont hewayhome.Ihad
somuchIwant edtosay ,butIdi
dn’thavethe
energy.AllIknewwast hattheonlywayf orme
tokeept hisbaby,wasf ormet oletSiyado
whateverhewant ed.Myonl ypri
ori
tywasmy
baby.Iwasdonewant i
ngSi yatochange.Ifhe
changedi twouldbei nhisownt ime.
[
05/
14,
11:
50]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

130

Whenwear
ri
vedhomeIi
mmedi
atel
ywentt
o
bed.

Siy
akepthov er
ingandt
obehonesthewas
annoyi
ngme.Ineededtorestandhewasn'
t
makingthateasy.

Me:
Siy
awi
l
lyoust
ophov
eri
ng 
Hi
m;Ij
ustwantt
omakesur
eyou'
reok 
Me:
I'
mfi
ne 
Hi
m;babyI
'
m sosor
ry.
 
Me:
Siy
a,I
'
m notmadaty
ou.Ij
ustwantt
osl
eep
Hi
m:Iwashopi
ngwecoul
dtal
k 
Me:
wecandot
hatl
ater
 
Hi
m:baby
,Il
eav
eforKZNt
oni
ght

Isatupandl
ookedatSi
ya.
Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng 
Him:baby
,I'
mr eal
l
ysor
ry.Idi
dn'
tmeanf
orany
ofthi
stohappen
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;y
oudon'
tsoundl
i
key
ouf
orgi
veme 
Me;
Ido 
Hi
m:babyMaan 
Me:Si
yast
opwi
tht
henaggi
ng.Isai
dit
'sf
ine
mos 
Hi
m:sowe'
reok 
Me:
yes 
Hi
m:y
ousur
e
Me:
posi
ti
ve 
Hi
m:canIgetaki
ss
Me:
comecl
oser

Si
yal
eanedi
nandgav
emeaki
ss
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou 
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hi
m:howy
ouf
eel
i
ng 
Me:
tir
ed 
Hi
m:I
'
lll
ety
our
est
 
Me:
thanks

Siy
aclosedallt
hecurtainsandi dr
if
tedofft
o
sl
eep.Imayhav ef
orgivenSiya,butisur
eas
hel
lwasn'tgoi
ngtoletany t
hinghappentomy
baby.

BythetimeIwokeupitwasalreadydar
k
out
side.Ist
il
lfel
tabi
tnauseous,butmuch
morecalm.
Igotupandwenttobrushmyteet
h,t
henputon
mygown, andwentdownst
air
s.

Ifoundeveryonehav i
ngdinner.Igreetedthem,
andwentt othekitchentomakemy sel
faf r
uit
smoothie.Ididn'
tfeell
ikeeati
ngany t
hingtoo
heavy,andineededt otakemypi ll
s.

WhenIwasdonemaki
ngmysmoothi
e,Isat
nextt
oSi
yaenj
oyedmysmoot
hie.

Whenwewer edoneeat
ing,Bonidi
dthedi
shes,
whi
leIwentupst
air
stohelpSiyawit
hpacki
ng.

Hi
m:I
'
llbebackt
omor
rowaf
tert
hef
uner
al
Me:
ok 
Hi
m:arey
ousur
eyoudon'
twantmet
ost
ay
wi
thy
ou 
Me: don'
tbesi
l
ly,
it'
sjustoneni
ght
.AndifI
can'
tbetheret
osaygoodby etoMam Mart
ha,
thenyoushoul
datleastbether
e 
Hi
m:ok.ButI
'
m notexact
lycomf
ort
abl
ewi
thi
t 
Me:
Siy
a.I
'
llbef
ine 
Hi
m:cal
lmei
fyouneedany
thi
ng 
Me:
I'
ll
bef
ine.Pl
usBoni
swai
sher
emos 
Hi
m:ok

Ipackedever
ythi
ngSi
yawoul
dneed,
andev
en
walkedhi
m out.

Him;t
her
e'smoneyi
nthesaf
e,shoul
dyouneed
some 
Me:
thanks 
Him:t
heguardsar
eonduty24/
7.Sot
her
e'sno
needt
oworryabouty
oursaf
ety
Me;baby
,justgot
u.Theguy
sar
ewai
ti
ngf
or
youi
nthecar

Socamecl
oser

Hi
m:y
ousur
ewe'
reok 
Me:
we'
resol
i
d 
Hi
m:I
'
llseey
out
omor
rowev
eni
ng 
Me;
cool

Il
eanedi
nandgav eSi
yaakiss,andwat
ched
hi
m geti
nthecaranddri
veoff.

Themomenti sawhimleav
e,Ir
anupst
air
sto
Boni
sroom.Iknockedonherdoor

Her
:comei
n
Iwal
kedi
nandsatonherbed

Me:
Ineedaf
avour
 
Her
:any
thi
ng 
Me:
Ineedt
ogoawayf
orawhi
l
e 
Her
;doesy
ourmanknowaboutt
his 
Me:
notexact
ly 
Her
:soy
ouwantt
oleav
ehi
m 
Me:
justt
il
lIf
ini
shmyf
ir
stt
ri
mest
er 
Her
:I'
m notsur
eaboutt
his 
Me:pleaseBoni.I
fIst
ayhere,
iwontmakei
t
pastmyf i
rstt
ri
mester
.Ican'
tl
osethi
sbaby
Boni.
 
Her
:sowher
edoy
ouwantt
ogo 
Me:
any
wher
easl
ongasSi
yadoesn'
tfi
ndme 
Her
:Ri
fi
loehei
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lus 
Me: hewon'
t.I
'l
lcal
lhi
m andlethi
m knowthat
I
'm safe,
andthatIj
ustneededsometimeaway
f
rom him
Her
:Lor
dhel
pus 
Me:don'
twor
ryaboutSi
ya.Hl
okeswi
l
lpr
otect
you 
Her:
Ican'tbel
i
eveI'
m goi
ngt
osayy
est
othi
s
cr
azyideaofyour
s

Ij
umpedi
ntoBoni
sar
msandshehuggedme

Me:
whatwoul
dIdowi
thouty
ou 
Her
:lucki
l
yyou'
l
lnev
erf
indout
 
Me:
(chuckel
s) 
Her
:weneedt
ofi
ndapl
acef
ory
out
ogof
ir
st 
Me:
Ithi
nkIshoul
dgot
oasomewheri
nS.
A.
Her
:howaboutQwaQwa
Me;
hewoul
dfi
ndmet
ooeasi
l
y 
Her
:whataboutPE
Me:
PEi
sper
fect
. 
Her
:let
'schecki
fwecanf
indaf
li
ghtf
ory
ou 
Me:
no.Weneedtofi
ndabus.Si
yawi
l
lbeabl
e
t
otr
ackaf
li
ghttooeasi
l
y 
Her:
ok,
weneedt
ogett
othest
ati
onwi
thi
nan
hour
 
Me;
per
fect
.

Iranupstai
rstogetsomemoneyoutt hesafe.I
tookquitealotbecauseIdi dn'
tplanonbeing
hereforatleast2mont hs.Iputitinmy
backpack,andchangedi ntojeansandat -
shi
rt.
Ididn'
ttakeanyclothes,becausei pl
annedon
buyingclot
hesinPE.

WhenIgotdownst
air
sBoni
hadal
ready
changed.Theonl
yprobl
em nowwashowdowe
getpasttheguar
ds

Her:geti
ntoHl
okescarv
iat
heback.I'
ll
lett
he
guardsknowIneedt
ogobuysomel ady
product
s 
Me:
Shar
p

Idi
dastold,
andwait
edforBoni
.Iwasso
happywhenIsawhergeti
nthecaranddr
ive
off
.

Her
:st
aydown.Thel
astt
hingweneedi
sfor
t
hem t
ospotyou

Ist
ayedDownt
il
lIknewwewer
ecl
ear
.

Her
:Ri
fi
loe,
youknowI
'
veal
way
sgoty
ourback.
Butar
eyousur
eaboutt
his 
Me;
yep 
Her
:ok.
..we'
reher
e.

Boniwalkedmetothetel
l
er,
andi boughta
ti
ckett
oPE, andwentt
owaitformybus.

Bonisatwit
hmewhi l
eIwaited.Ifel
tli
kesucha
cri
minalf
orleav
ingl
iket
his,butitwasformy
baby'
ssake,soIhadnootherchoice.

Anhourl
atermybuswascal
l
ed.

IgaveaBoni
ahug,
andt
oldherIwoul
dbei
n
touch

Her
:If
igur
edy
oumi
ghtneedt
his
Shegav
emeacel
lphone

Me;
Boni
,thi
sisabr
andnewS7Ican'
ttakei
t 
Her:y
oucanbuymeanewonewheny
ouget
back 
Me;
whendi
dyougett
his
Her:
Hlokesboughti
tformeyest
erday
.Ij
ust
di
dnthaveachancetousei
tasyet 
Me;
thanky
ou

Igav
eBoni
ahugandwentt
oboar
dmybus.

IknowSi yawasgoingtogoapeshi tonBoni,

butireal
lyneededtoconsernt
rateonmybaby .
Thewaywewer egoing,Iwasgoingtolosemy
babybecuaseofal l
theargui
ngandconst ant
heartache.Al
lthatwasimportantnowwasme.
Si
yawoul
djusthav
etodeal
,andl
eav
emebe.

[
05/
14,
17:
15]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

131

Mybust ookof f,
andIfeltasuddenreli
ef.I
knowSiyawasgoi ngtobemad, butIthi
nkt his
i
sthebestdeci sionconsi
deri
ngourcrazy
si
tuat
ion.Atleastwithmebei nggone,Siyacan
deci
deifher eall
ywantstoleavetheforce,and
i
fhedecidedhewant stostaythenIwouldal so
havetodecidewhatIwantf ormeandmybaby .

TheridetoPEwasn’tt
hemostcomf
ort
abl
eone,
butIsleptt
hroughmostofi
tany
way
. 
Ibookedmy sel
fasuitatbeachhot
elusi
ngthe
phonethatBonigav
eme.Iwant edtophone
Si
ya,
butIdecidedtocall
him aft
erthef
uneral
.I
di
dn’
twanthim draggi
nghisteam awayfr
om
Mam Mart
ha’sfuneral
,j
ustbecauseofme. 
WhenIfinal
l
yar r
ivedi
nPEitwas6:00am.My
wholebodywassosawf rom si
tt
ingupr
ightt
he
wholeni
ght,butIknewIwoul
dgett or
estonce
Igottomyroom.  
Itookacabf rom t
hebusst ati
onto
Summer str
and.There’
snothingmor e
refr
eshingthant hebeach.ThemomentI
checkedi n,Iputmybagaway ,andwentf
ora
walkont hebeach.Mydeci siontocometoPE
might ’
vebeenahast yone,butitwasdefi
nit
ely
therightonef ormeandmygr owingbambino.

Aft
ersomet
imeont
hebeach,
Iwentbackt
omy
sui
tandcal
l
edBoni

Her
;Hel
l
o 
Me;
Hey
…It
sme 
Her
;ohThankGod.Iwasst
art
ingt
owor
ry 
Me;
sor
rygal
,Iwentt
othebeach 
Her
;soy
ouf
oundani
cehot
el 
Me;
yes.I
tsper
fect
 
Her
;hav
eyout
oldy
ourhubbyy
et?
Me;no.Iwasthi
nki
ngmaybeIshoul
dspeakt
o
yourmanfi
rst
,togi
vehi
m aheadsup 
Her
;goodi
dea 
Me;
cool
.Ij
ustwant
edt
oruni
tpasty
ouf
ir
st 
Her;
Rifi
loe,j
usttakecareofyoursel
f.St
op
worr
yingaboutev ery
oneelse.Theonly
i
mpor t
antpersonr i
ghtnowisthatpreci
oussoul
you’
recarry
ing 
ME;
thankYouBoni
.
Her
;Iobv
eyougi
rl
 
Me;
lov
eyout
oo 
Her
;goodl
uck 
Me;
thanks

Aft
erspeaki
ngtoBoni,Ideci
dedtocall
Hlokes.
Thefuner
alwasprobablyoutbynow,andI
thi
nkheneededtoknowbef or
eItel
lSiya.
 
Hi
m;hel
l
o
Me;
Hlokes 
Me;
heyy
ou.Howy
ouf
eel
i
ng 
Me;
I’
m good.You 
Hi
m;we’
regood.We’
reaboutt
oleav
eKZN
Me;
oh…
Hi
m;what
’sup 
Me;
Promi
semey
ouwon’
tki
l
lBoni
 
Hi
m;whathav
eyout
wodonenow 
ME;
wel
l
,it
’smor
emet
hanher
 
Hi
m;ok…I
’
mli
steni
ng 
Me;Well
…Ahmm af
tery
ouguy
slef
tforKZN,
I
l
eftCT 
Hi
m;whatdoy
oumean
ME;Hlokes,
Ineededsomet i
meawayf r
om Si
ya.
Thi
sismyf i
rstt
ri
mesterandIfeell
ikeifI
st
ayedinCTIwould’v
edefini
tel
ylostthi
sbaby 
Hi
m;shi
tRi
fi
loe.Ghosti
sgoi
ngt
ogomad 
Me;hewon’tbecausey
ouwi
l
lmakehi
m
under
stand 
Hi
m; pl
easet
ell
meBoni
wasn’
tinv
olv
edi
nal
l
t
his 
Me;
shewasn’
t 
Hi
m;y
ou’
rel
yi
ng.Thi
shasBoni
wri
tt
enal
lov
er
i
t 
Me;Stopi
t.Shewasagai
nsti
tbutIl
eftherno
choi
ce 
Hi
m;f
uck 
Me;
I’
vegott
ogo.Ineedt
ophoneSi
ya 
Hi
m;Goodl
uck 
Me;
thanks.I
’
m goi
ngt
oneedi
t

Itookadeepbr
athandcal
l
edmysoont
obeon
fi
rehubby.
 
Hi
m;Hel
l
o 
Hi
m;babyy
ou’
reup 
Me;
yah
Him;Ical
l
edear
li
erbutBoni
sai
dyouwer
e
asl
eep 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;howdi
dyousl
eep
Me;
finet
hanks 
Hi
m;Howy
ouf
eel
i
ng 
Me;
muchbet
ter
 
Hi
m;I
’
m gl
ad.Imi
ssy
oul
i
kecr
azy
 
Me;
howwast
hef
uner
al 
Hi
m;itsad.Butev
ery
thi
ngwentaccor
dingt
o
pl
an 
Me;
that
’sgood 
Me;
Baby
.Ineedt
otel
lyousomet
hing 
Hi
m;what
’swr
ong 
Me;
letmest
artbysay
ing,
Ilov
eyou.
Hi
m;nanawhat
’sgoi
ngon 
Me;
baby
,I’
m noti
nCT 
Hi
m;I
’
mlost
 
ME;
Ilef
tlastni
ght
 
Hi
m;wher
ear
eyou 
Me;
Ican’
tsay
 
Hi
m;whatdoy
oumeanRi
fi
loe 
Me;Baby,Ij
ustneedsometi
meaway.Justt
il
l
myfir
sttr
imesteri
sover
.ThenI
’
llbeonthef
irst
f
li
ghtback 
Hi
m;y
oumustbej
oki
ngr
ight
.Ri
fi
loepl
easet
ell
met
hisi
saj
oke 
ME;
babyi
t’
snot
,pl
easet
ryt
ounder
stand 
Him; underst
andwhat ?Thatyouar
ef ucki
ng
self
ish?Thaty oudot hi
ngsandnotthinkofthe
fuckingcir
cumst ances.Thaty
ouarefucking
chil
dish?Ye 
Me;
I’
vegott
ogo 
Him;Youbetterdoyour
sel
faf av
ourandcome
backfrom wherev
eryouare,
becausei
fIfi
nd
youfi
rst,
therewil
lbehel
ltopay 
IheardSiyasmashsomet hi
nginthe
background,andIimmediat
elyputt
hephone
down.Itookoutthesim car
dandf l
ushedi
t.I
knewSi yawasgoingtotryt
ot r
ackmeandt hi
s
ti
meIr eall
ydidn’
twanthimtofindme.

Af
tert
alkingtoSi
ya,Iorder
edbreakfastand
wentt
ot akeabath.Iknowthedoctorhadput
meonbedr est
,butIneededtogoandgetsome
cl
othes.
 
Ihadmybreakf
ast,
thentookashower
,then
cal
ledacabsoIcouldgoshoppi
ng.
 
Ididqui
teabi
tofshoppi
ng.Iboughtev
ery
thi
ng
thatIwoul
dneedfort
henexttwoMonths.
 
Ievenmadeabooki ngwit
haGy nebasedatthe
shoppingmal l.Ineededtomakesur emybaby
wasgrowi ng.Ialsoboughtabout10di ffer
ent
si
m car ds,soIcouldkeepcall
ingSiy a.
Hopefullythatwouldhelphim calm downabit.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
SIYA*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***

Itr
iedcal
l
ingRi
fil
oebackamil
l
ionti
mesbuther
phonewentstr
aightt
ovoi
cemai
l.
 
Ihonestl
ydon’
tunderst
andwhatshewas
play
ingat.Howcouldshejustupandleav
eand
nottel
lmeaboutit
.Thisshitwasbeyond
cr
azy
. 
Il
ookedatBul
let
,andIj
ustknewt
hatheknew
aboutt
hismadness.

Me;
fuckingHell
bull
et.Howcoul
dyoul
ether
got
hroughwiththi
s? 
Hi
m;dude,
Ili
ter
all
yjustf
oundout
 
Me;
Wher
eBoni
 
Hi
m;atHome 
Me;
makehert
ell
youwher
eRi
fi
loei
s
Hi
m;webot
hknowshei
sn’
tgoi
ngt
otal
k 
Me;f
ine,
thenil
ltal
ktoherbecausecl
ear
lyshe
hasy
oubyt heball
s 
Hi
m;Ghost
,I’
m war
ningy
ou.St
ayawayf
rom
mygi
rl
 
Me; sheknowswhereRi
fi
loeI
s.Howdoyou
expectmet oj
ustsi
tandnotdoany
thi
ng?
 
Hi
m;Ghost ,Rif
il
oeobvi
ousl
yneededt
imeaway
f
rom ever
ything.Maybegi
vehert
hespaceshe
r
equi
res 
Me;fuckthat
.Shei
smywif
e.Shecannotj
ust
upandleavewhenshef
eel
sli
keit
 
Hi
m;G
Me;GetNail
sontheline.IwantRi
fi
loefound
bef
oretheendoftoday.Areweclear?
 
Hi
m;y
ou’
ret
heboss

Wegotint hecaranddr ov
etotheairpor
t.Iwas
sodamnangr yatRifi
l
oef orthi
s.IgetImessed
up,butwasi treal
l
ynecessar yf
orhertoleave
meandnotbot hertodiscussit
.Inst
eadshe
pret
endedwewer eok, butdeepdownshewas
busyhatchingaplan.Howdoessheexpectme
tobeokwi ththis?
[
05/
14,
17:
15]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
132

Ispentther
estofmydayindoor
s.Isl
ept
throughmostofi
tandwokeupinti
mef or
dinner

Iorderedsteakandchi psandj ustenj oyedthe

peace.Iknowwher everSiyawashewas
probablygoingmad.Iki ndoff eltbadbecauseI
reall
ylovedhim.Hewasn’ tperfectandwel l
neitherwasI ,
butIreall
yhat edhur t
inghi m.I
j
ustwi shwecoul dgetal ong.Ifeellikewe’ve
beenf i
ghti
ngsi ncetheverybegi nning,andthat
i
sj ustdrai
ningattimes. 
Aft
erdinner
,Irelaxedabit
.Idi
ntreal
lyhave
muchtodo, soIj ustdi
dsomeresearchonwhat
PEhadt ooffer
,Ineededtofi
ndway stokeep
busy.
 
Af
termyr
esear
ch,
Ical
l
edBoni
.Iwant
edt
o
makesur
eshewasok

Her
;Hel
l
o
Me;
heygi
rl
 
Her
;iv
ebeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lyouami
l
li
ont
imes 
ME;
what
swr
ong 
Her;wel
lyouranawayfr
om y
ourhusbandf
or
one.Heisli
keanunl
eashedl
ion
ME;
hashesai
dany
thi
ngt
oyou 
Her
;no.Hl
okest
oldmet
ojustst
ayouthi
sway
 
Me;
imr
eal
l
ysor
ryf
ori
nvol
vi
ngy
oui
nal
loft
his
Her
;don’
tbesi
l
ly.Thi
siswhatf
ri
endsar
efor
 
Me;
Ireal
l
yappr
eci
ateev
ery
thi
ngy
ou’
redoi
ng
f
orme 
Her
;well
youcanthankmebyt
ell
i
ngmewhi
ch
hot
ely
ourstay
ingat 
Me;
I’
m att
hesummer
for
tbeachf
ronthot
el 
Her
;good.I
m onmyway
 
Me;
what
 
Her
;il
lexpl
ainwhenIar
ri
ve
Me;
ishl
okescomi
ng 
Her
;hel
lno.Idon’
treal
l
yli
kehi
mri
ghtnow
Me;
wai
tBoni
. 
Her
;im al
readyont
hewayt
otheai
rpor
t 
Me;
ok…ahmm whatt
imedoy
oul
and 
Her
;10:
00pm 
Me;
I’
ll
meety
ouatt
heai
rpor
t 
Her
;don’
tbesi
l
ly.Youar
eonbedr
est
 
ME;Boni
I’
mreal
lysor
ry.Ishoul
dn’
thav
e
i
nvol
vedyoui
nthi
s 
Her
;it
snotabouty
ouRi
fi
loe 
Me;
whati
sitt
hen 
Her
;Hl
okesi
sgonet
oLi
nda.She’
sinl
abour
 
Me;
oh…damn…aski
esmyf
ri
end 
Her
;I’
l
lseey
oui
naf
ewhour
s 
Me;
ok 
Her
;shar
p 
Me;
Ilov
eyoune 
Her
;lov
eyout
oomychi
na

I’
ll
behonestandsayIwasl ookingforwardto
havingBoniher
e.2mont hsisalongtime,and
formet obeall
alone.Soatleastwit
hmygi rl
herewecouldbothjusttakethemuchneed
ti
meandenj oybeingawayfrom ourcrazy
sit
uati
ons

Ist
ayedupwai ti
ngforBoni t
oarri
ve.Ir
eall
y
missedSiya,
butIknewi fIcal
ledIwouldonly
have40secondsbef orehecouldtr
acemy
phone,andIjustdi
dn’tknowifIwaswill
ingto
taketheri
sk.Butatt
hesametimetheneedfor
met ohearhisvoi
cewasoverpoweri
ng,soI
gaveinanddiall
edhi
m

Hi
m;what
Me;
babyi
t’
sme 
Hi
m;ohGodRi
fi
loe,
wher
ear
eyou 
Me;Ij
ustneededt
oheary
ourv
oicebef
oreI
wentt
osleep 
Him;baby
,pl
easecomehome.Pl
easeI
’
m
beggi
ngyou 
ME;Si
ya,
I’
m notdoi
ngthi
stopuni
shy
ou.Ij
ust
needy
outounderst
and 
Him;Ri
fi
loe,
Iswear
,ifany
thi
nghappenst
omy
baby
,I’
m goi
ngto
Me;
I’
vegott
ogo.My30secondsar
eup 
Hi
m;But
 
Me;
Ilov
eyou.Goodni
ght
Idi
dn’twaitf
orhi
mt orespond.IgotwhatI
needed,andnowiwasgoi ngtojustwat
chTV
andwaitformygir
ltoarri
ve

Ataround11:
30pm,myhot el
room phonerang.
IknewBonihadarr
ived,soIj
ustwalkeddown
andwenttofet
chher. 
ThemomentIsawBoni
,Iknewshehadbeen
cr
ying.

Shespott
edmeandIopenedmyar
mst
ogi
ve
herahug.
 
Me;
thatbadhuh 
Her
;it
shor
ri
bleRi
fi
loe(
sni
ff
) 
ME;
comel
et’
sgot
omyr
oom

IHel
dBoni
’
shandandwewal
kedt
omysui
t
Her
;Ni
cepl
ace 
Me;
thanks.Notbadl
ypr
iced 
Her
;(si
gh)
 
Me;
comesi
tandt
ell
mewhat
’sgoty
our
unni
ng
t
oPE

Wesatont
hecouch,
andBoni
justst
art
ed
cr
ying

Her;(
sni
ff
)Ijust(Snif
f)di
dn’
tthi
nkitwouldbe
t
hishardRi
fi
loe.LikeMymani shavingababy
wit
hsomeoneel se.Howdoy oudeal wi
ththat
? 
Me;
Boni
,Hedoesn’
tlov
eher
.Hel
ovesy
ou 
Her;ButRi
fi
loe.Youshoul
dseehowexcitedhe
i
s.He’sbuyi
ngahousei nCT,he’
slooki
ngfor
nurser
yfur
nitur
eandinalloft
hismadness
therei
snotalkofusorawayofusmov i
ng
f
orwar
d. 
Me;I
’m sur
ehe’sj
ustexci
ted.Gi
vehi
mti
me.He
wi
ll
comear ound 
Her;
I’
mjustscar
edhewi l
lfal
linl
ovewi
thLi
nda,
andwantt
obewi thhi
sfami l
y 
Me;
Boni
,youar
eHl
oke’
sfami
l
y
Her
;Idon’
tknowRi
fi
loe.Ij
ustdon’
tknow

Ihel
dBoniasshecri
ed.Iknowshewasj ust
feel
i
ngabiti
nsecur
e,Li
ndahadat endencyof
makingmefeelt
hatwayattimes.

Her
;Im soself
ish.HereIam goi
ngonaboutme.
Howarey oudoing? 
ME;
Imf
ine.Justwor
ri
edabouty
ou 
Her;
yourhusbandl
ooksl
i
kehe’
sagedami
l
li
on
year
s 
Me;
he’
l
lbest
rong 
Her
;soyour
eal
l
ypl
anonst
ayi
ngher
efor2
months 
Me;
hel
lyes 
Her
;Iact
ual
l
yfeel
forhi
m 
Me;haanaBoni
.Si
yaj
ustget
stoomuchat
t
imes 
Her;Iknow,
butbythet
imeyougethomehe
mightbe10timesangr
ier
 
Me;
Il
lseehowi
tgoes 
Her
;ok.

BoniandIwentt
obed,andjustputt
heday
behi
ndus.Hopef
ull
ytomorr
owwoul dbr
ing
morehappi
nessfort
hebothofus

BonispentaweekwithmeinPE.Webasical
l
y
stay
edinandjustenj
oyedour
sel
vesandjust
rel
axed.ButbyFr
idayshewasmissi
ngherman,
soshelef
ttogomaket
hingswor
k.Whi
chI
foundr
eall
ycut
e. 
Shetri
edconv
inci
ngmet ogoback,butIwasn’
t
ready
.Ihadadoctor
’sappoi
ntmentonSatur
day
andIwantedt
omakesur eIwasthere.
 
OnSatur
daymorningIgotupandf
reshenedup
formyappoi
ntmentat9:
00am
Iwashonestl
yf eel
i
ngsomuchbet t
er.Ihad
gott
enmyhai rdone,mynai
lsweredoneIwas
star
ti
ngtofeelmorelikemy
self
. 
WhenIar r
ivedatthedoct
or’
sof f
ice,wedida
saunaandshecheckeduponmybl ood
pressur
e,andtomysur pr
iseitwasn’tt
oobad.
Alli
nallmeandt hebabywerewel l
,andthe
doctorwashappywi t
hmypr ogress

OnceIgotbackt omyhot el,

Ilookedatt
he
ul
trasoundsthatthedoctorgaveme.Mylit
tl
e
nunuwasgr owing,andthatmademesohappy .
Iknewi
twasself
ishf
ormetobehappywhi
l
e
Siy
awasprobabl
ystr
essi
ng.

Idecidedtosendhi
m asmsoftheultr
asound.I
hadn’tspokentohi
m si
ncet
henightBoni
arr
ived 
Iputinoneofmysi
mcar
dsandsenthi
mthe
ul
trasound.
 
Iwasaboutt
oswi
tchof
fmyphone,
whenSi
ya
cal
l
ed.

Icont
empl at
edweathert
oanswerornott
o
answer.Buti
ntheendanswered

Me;
Ndhl
ovu 
Hi
m;(
sigh)
 
Me;
howar
eyou 
Hi
m;Imi
ssy
ou
Me;
Imi
ssy
out
oo 
Hi
m;ar
eyouandt
hebabyok 
Me;
we’
regood 
Him;sodoy
oupl
anoncomi
nghomeany
time
soon 
Me;
Il
lspeakt
oyousoon.
 
Hi
m;pl
easer
if
il
oe.Don’
tdot
his 
Me;
Babymaan
Hi
m;Ihav
en’
tspokent
oyoui
naweek.
 
Me;
IknowSi
ya.ButIj
ustneedmor
eti
me 
Hi
m;howmuch 
Me;
byeSi
ya

Icutthecall
,andl etoutasigh.Si
ya’
svoi
ce
brokemyhear t.Icouldhearhewasdistr
essed,
butIdidn’
twantt owor r
yabouthim.Butatthe
samet imeIfel
tlikeIwasdeser ti
nghi
m asa
wi
fe.

IstayedinPEf orexactly2mont hs.Iwasof f

bedrest,butwast oldtomakesur et
hatItake
thi
ngseasy .Ididn’tt
ellSiyat
hatIwascomi ng
home, becauseIknewt herewouldargui
ng, and
aft
erbeingsor elaxedf or2mont hs,t
helast
thi
ngIneededwast oar guewit
hSi y
a,
especial
lysinceImi ssedhim somuch

Iarr
ivedattheai
rpor
tandUberedt
othehouse.
I’
l
lbehonestandsayIwasr eal
l
ynerv
ous.I
tfel
t
l
ikeIhadbeenawayf orGodknowshowlong,
andIjustwashopingSiy
aandIwouldbein
sync,andjustmoveonandbehappy

Igothomeandwentstr
aightt
omybedr oom.I
i
nstant
lyregr
ett
edcomi
ngback,becausethe
si
ghtbeforemetor
eri
ppedmyhear ti
nto
pi
eces

Ther
ewassomegi r
linmyr oom,andshewas
j
ustmakingmybed.Iheardtheshowergoing,
soIknewSiyawasi
nt her
e,andthelookonthi
s
gi
rl
sfacetol
dmeshewasn’ tqui
teexpecti
ng
me.
[
05/
14,
17:
16]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

133

IknowIwaswr ongforl
eavi
ngSiy
aforsolong.
Ireal
lydo,butf
orhi
mt obri
ngsomerandom
chickinf
oourbedwasbelowthebel
t.

Li
kewhycoul
dn'
thej
ustl
etmefi
ndmysel
fand
gi
vemetheti
meIaskedhi
mtogiv
eme?Why
di
dwehavetoendupher
eagai
n?
Myeyesimmediatel
ystar
tedt
owater
,myhear
t
wasr
acingandIjustdi
dn'
tknowwhattodo

Her
:ohhi
..
.ah,
youmustbeMr
sNdhl
ovu 
Me:
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)yes.
..andy
ouar
e 
Her
:I'
m Si
bongi
l
e,y
ournewmai
d 
Me;
Isee 
Her:
Iwasj
ustf
ini
shi
ngupcleaningthet
his
f
loor
.I'
l
lmovet
otheseconddfloornext
 
Me:
oh.
.aaham ok
Her:
nowt haty
ourhere.Pl
easecany
oushow
mehowt osettheshoweroff
?Ihadi
tonsel
f-
cl
eaningmode,buti
twon'tst
op 
Me:
come,
I'
ll
showy
ou

Il
etoutasi
ghofr
eli
efandl
ookedatt
hispoor
gir
linf
rontofme.IswearaminuteagoIwas
readyt
oj umpher
,andnowIfeltt
otal
ly
embarrassed.

Ishowedherhowtoswit
cht heshowerbackt
o
normal
,thenwentt
otheclosettounpack.

Si
bongil
elef
ttogoandFi
nishof
fther
estoft
he
house.

Siy
awal kedinl
ooki
nglikeaf
itnessmodelf
rom
somef i
tnessmagazi
ne.Hewassweat i
ngfrom
hi
sr un,
andhehadgr ownabitofabeard.

Hestil
ledthemomenthel ai
deyesonme.I
di
dn'tmov e.Iwant
edtojustj
umponhim,and
eathisfaceoff,
butIwasn'
treal
l
ysur
ewhat
ki
ndofmoodhewasi n
Hi
m:t
hepr
odi
gal
sonr
etur
ns

Idi
dn'tmov
e.Ij
ustkeptmyeyesgluedt
ohim.I
wantedtot
akei
nthiscrazy
,sexymanthatIcal
l
myhusband

Hi
m:Rif
il
oe,
Ifeel
li
key
ouar
eundr
essi
ngme
wi
thy
oureyes
me:
youar
emyhusbandar
en'
tyou 
Hi
m: husband?I
t'
sfunnyhowy
ouf
orgotabout
t
hatf
or2whol emonths 
Me: baby,comeon.Inev
eroncef
orgotabout
you.Ijustneededt
otakesometi
met omysel
f.
I
st hatreal
lysuchabadthi
ng 
Him:I
'
m goi
ngtotakeashower
,bef
oreIsay
somethi
ngwe'
l
lbothregr
et
Siy
aleftmet hereandwentt ot akeashower .I
knowhewasmadatme.Igeti t,
butIr eallyjust
neededthisti
meal one.Ithelpedmeputt hings
i
ntoperspectiv
eandnowIknow100%t hatI
wantnothingmor ethant obewi thSiya.I
wantedmychi ldtogrowupwi thbot hparent s,
andIwant edustomakeourmar r
iagewor k.We
hadreall
ygrownapar tthisyear,andnowi twas
ti
mewegr ewtogether.
Itookof
fmycl
othesandwentt
ojoi
nhi
mint
he
shower.
 
Iputmyarmsaroundhiswai
stf
rom behi
nd.I
j
ustneededt
ofeelnexttohi
m.

Siyast
il
ledabi
t,andthenletoutasi
gh.Iknow
hewasmad, butherehehadnochoicebutto
faceme.Soeventual
lyheturnedar
oundand
facedme.Hegav emeaki ssonmyf or
ehead
andjusthel
dmei nhisar
ms
Him:your
eal
l
yknowhowt
odr
ivemecr
azy
don'
tyou 
Me;
Imi
ssedy
ousomuch 
Him: Ri
fil
oe,y
oucan'tdot histomeagain.
Please.IknowI'
m alottot akeatti
mes.AndI
knowIhav ehurtyou,butIcan'thaveyou
runningoffever
ytimethingsgetdiffi
cul
t.
 
Me:
Iwon'
t.Ipr
omi
se 
Hi
m:sodi
dyouenj
oyPE

Il
ookedupatSi
ya,
andhehadahugegr
inon
hi
sface

Me:
soy
ouknewIwasonPE
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
forhowl
ong 
Him:si
ncet
hedayy
ousentmescansofour
baby
Me:
andy
oudi
dn'
tcomeanddr
agmehome 
Him:Icoul
dseet
hatyouneededtobeaway.
Anddespit
emymissi
ngyou.Ihadtogi
veyou
space 
Me:
thanky
ou 
Hi
m:Ihadguy
swat
chi
ngy
out
hough
Me:
whyam Inotsur
pri
sed 
Hi
m: Ihadtomakesur
enoneoft
heguy
sfr
om
PEhadt hei
rey
esonyou 
Me;
youar
ehonest
lycr
azy
 
Hi
m:you'
remywi
fe.I
'
llbedammedi
fIl
osty
ou
t
osomePEdude 
Me;
youwon'
tev
erl
osemet
oany
one.
 
Him:
Iwasstar
ti
ngt
othi
nky
oudi
dn'
twantt
o
comeback 
Me:
butbabyIt
oldy
ouIwoul
dbeback 
Hi
m:Iknowyousaidthat,
butIj
ustf
eltwi
th
ev
ery
thi
ngthathappened,
weweredrif
ti
ng
apar
t 
Me:Siy
a,youandIareone.Itdoesn'
tmat
ter
whathappens,
thatwi
llnev
erchange 
Him:youhavenoi
deahowgoodi
tfeel
stohear
yousaythat

Siy
at ookmeinhi
sar
msandgav
emeasl
ow,
sul
trykiss.

Myi nsi
desknott
edi
ntoami ll
i
onknots,asI
tastedhi
sint
ensedesi
re.Ineverseem t
oget
enoughofSiya.Nomatterwhatweseem togo
through,t
her
ewasstil
lnoothermanf orme.

Si
yapul
l
edawayandst
aredi
ntomyey
es

Hi
m:t
hanky
ouf
orcomi
ngback 
Me:
Iwoul
dn'
twantt
obeany
wher
eel
se
Hi
m:sowe'
regoi
ngt
omaket
hiswor
k 
Me:
yes.Iwoul
dn'
thav
eitanyot
herway
 
Him:I
’
m gladt
oheart
hat,butweneedt
osi
t
andgothr
oughev
eryt
hing.
 
Me;
Ok.

Wegotoutt
heshower
,andwett
ogetdr
essed.

Hi
m;woul
dyoul
i
kesomebr
eakf
ast
 
ME;nothanky
ou.Ihadsomet
hingatt
he
ai
rpor
t 
Him;whydi
dn’
tyoucal
lme?Icoul
d’
vef
etched
you 
Me;It
houghty
ouwoul
dst
il
lbei
nbed,
sincemy
f
li
ghtwassoearl
y 
Him;Ihav
en’
tsl
eptpr
oper
lysi
ncey
ouwer
e
gone.
Wesatont
hebedf
aci
ngeachot
her

Me;I
’
m sor
ryf
orl
eav
ingwi
thoutdi
scussi
ngi
t
wi
thyou
Hi
m;canIj
ustaskwhyy
ouact
ual
l
ylef
t 
Me; Siya.Ij
ustthinkthatever
ythi
nggott oo
mucht otake.Wewentf r
om onethingt o
anotherinseconds.I twasthepani croom.
Sizwe, Mam Mar tha.YouandSabel o,andthen
nearlypassingoutbecauseofal lthearguing.I
j
ustneededt otakeast epback.Ineededt o
breathe,becauseIknewi fwecar r
iedont he
roadwewer eheadi ng,wewould’
vel ostour
baby, andIjustwasn’ twi
ll
i
ngtodot hat
 
Hi
m;sowhydi
dn’
tyousayany
thi
ng 
Me;becauseIknowyouwoul
d’
vemadesureI
st
ayed,andwewould’
vej
ustf
oughtsome
more 
Hi
m; soyouthoughtgoi
ngawaywoul
dmake
t
hingsri
ght
 
Me;Ij
ustt
houghtt
hatt
heti
meapar
twoul
dhel
p
usdeci
dewhatwewantedt
odo 
Hi
m;We 
Me;Siya,Iknowdeepdowny oudidn’
twantto
l
eavethef orce,andIfeltl
i
keIwast hereason
f
oryoul eavi
ng, andthatdidn’
tsi
twellwit
hme.I
wantedy outomaket hechoiceandbecontent.
Notl
ikeIwasf orci
ngy ou 
Him; baby,mel eavi
ngthef orcewasf oryou.I
couldnev erl
ivewithmy selfknowi ngthatyou
werehur tbecauseofme.Il eftbecauseIwant
oursont olookupt ome, andnott hinkit
sokt o
havemedwal kingaroundwi t
hguns.Iwanty ou
Rif
il
oe, andI’
dt akeyouov erthef orceanyday  
Me;
arey
ousur
eaboutt
his 
Hi
m;100% 
Me;
(si
gh)ok
Hi
m;Nomorerunni
ngaway
.Ify
ouhav
ea
pr
obl
em t
heny
oucomet omeandwediscuss
i
t.
 
Me;
ok 
Him;andnomor ethr
owingplat
esandshit
.We
can’
tkeeprepl
acingpl
atesandglasses
becauseyoukeepbreaki
ngthem 
Me;
(chuckl
es)f
ine 
Hi
m; Il
ovey
ouRif
il
oe.Morethananythi
ng.
Pl
easedon’
tev
erl
eaveagain.Idon’
tthi
nkI
woul
dbeablet
ohandlei
t.
 
Me; Iheary ouSi ya.it
’sjustt hatatti
mesy ou
tendtofor getthatI ’
my ourwi feandnotan
associate.Youcan’ tt
ryt ocont rolever
ythi
ngI
do.Iknowi fitwer eut oy ou, y
ouwoul dhav e
l
ockedi nthi shouse24/ 7, butthat’
snothow
thingswor k.Youneedt olightenupabi t.No
tracki
ngmycal ls,not ell
ingmeIcan’ tgo
somewher eect .Ineedy out obemyhusband,
andnotmycont r
oller
.Becauset hemorey outr
y
cont
rol
l
ingmet
hemor
eIwantt
orebel
 
Him; ButRifi
l
oeyouknowinthebusinessthat
I’
mi n,Ineedtomakesureyou’
reprotect
ed.I
can’tbefighti
nggangsontheonehand,and
thencomi nghomet oanot
herwar
Me;
let
’sj
ustagr
eewewi
l
ltr
yli
ght
enup.
Him;andpl
easet
rytocontr
olyourhormones.I
knowyoucan’
texact
lycont
rol
them, butIj
ust
needyoutot
ry
Me;
I’
m notpr
omi
singany
thi
ng.ButI
’
llt
ry 
Hi
m;t
hat
’sal
lIask 
Me;
soar
eyoust
ayi
ngi
nthef
orce 
Hi
m;I’
veputmyr esi
gnat
iononhol
d.It
hought
wecoul
ddiscussitt
oget
her 
Me;
doy
our
eal
l
ywantt
oqui
t?
Hi
m;t
rut
hbet
old?
 
Me;
yes
Hi
m;Idon’
t 
Me;
ok,
sohowdowemov
efor
war
d 
Him; Iwasthinki
ngofmakingBull
etmyCo-
Lieutenant
.Thatwaywecouldbothjuggl
ethe
j
obt ogether.Nai
lswoul
dbeinchargeoft
he
forceandAxewoul dbehissecond 
Me;
oh 
Him;ButitsjustanI
dea.Ihav
en’
tdeci
dedon
anyt
hing.Ijustwant
edtoseeify
ouhowy ou
wouldfeel 
Me;
woul
dyougoonmi
ssi
ons 
Hi
m;no.butIwoul
dtr
avel
att
imes 
Me;
yourhour
s?
Him;
unpredi
ctable.Butmainl
y8:00am-7pm.
Andi
dalsohav eanof f
iceathome 
Me;I’
m notsur
eI’
m comf
ort
abl
ewi
thanof
fi
ce
athome 
Hi
m;canIaskwhy
Me;
I’
dpr
eferf
ory
out
obef
ull
yher
ewhen
you’
rehere.Iwantustokeepourf
amilyl
ifeand
workli
feseparat
e.Ghoststay
sattheoff
ice,
andSiyai
sathome 
Hi
m;ok 
Me; andnoneofyourassoci
atesaretocome
hereforwork.I
ftheyneedyou,youcanmeetat
theoffi
ce
Hi
m;soy
ouar
eopent
omest
ayi
ng 
Me; IwantyoutobehappySiya,andIft
his
for
cemakesy ouhappy
,thenIcan’thav
eyou
giv
ei tupforme 
Hi
m;t
hanky
oubaby
 
Me;don’tt
hankmejusty
et .Thi
sisatrai
lperi
od.
I
fitdoesn’
tworkt
henwel ookatotheropti
ons 
Hi
m;soundsr
easonabl
e 
Me;Siyamostimport
antlyyouneedtomanage
yourti
me.Ineedyoujustasmuchast hefor
ce
does.Idon’
twanttofor
cey outomaketimefor
me.Iwantyoutomakemeapr iori
ty.
 
Him;Iheary
oubaby
.I’
m sor
ry.Iknowhow
sel
fi
shIcanbe 
Me;it
sfi
ne.we’
llst
artf
rom srat
chand
hopef
ull
ythi
sti
mei twi
llwork 
Hi
m;onemor
ethi
ng 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m RESPECT 
Me;
ohGod 
Him; Ri
fil
oe.Iknowy ouar eusedt obei
ngt hi
s
i
ndependentwomen, whohol dsherownbl ah
blahblah.ButIam y ourhusband, andIfeel l
ike
youhav enor espectf ormewhatsoev er.You
raiseyourvoice,youswearatme, youbeli
ttl
e
meandy ou’r
eal way sletti
ngmeknowhow
muchy oudon’tneedme.cant hatcomet oan
end.Myf ir
stinstinctist olayahandony ou.I
knowt hat’
swr ongbutI ’m sousedtodeali
ng
withmyenemi esl i
ket hat.Thatwhenyoudoi t
makesmewantt odot hesamet oyou 
Me;
(si
gh)okbaby
.I’
m sor
ryne 
Him;Iknowi t’
snoteasyl
ett
ingmeloveyou.
ButRif
iloeyouneedtobemywi fe.I
tdoesn’
t
meany ou’r
ebeneathme.Itj
ustmeansthatyou
knowy ourplace
Me;
Okbaby
 
Him;I
’m ser
ious.Youknowt hatdespi
tet
he
moneyanddespi t
eeveryt
hing.I’
m sti
l
lamanat
hear
t,andIwantmyQueent reatmeasherKi
ng.
Notasjustsomeguyt hatshe’spassi
ngt
ime
wit
h 
Me;
you’
reQueenHa 
Hi
m;al
way
s 
Me;
ok
Hi
m;comeher
e

IkissedmyKingandjustenj
oyedt
hecalm,
presencet
hatIfel
t.Si
yaandIwerefi
nal
l
yat
peaceagai
n,andi
tsur
efel
tgood.
 
Iknowi t
’sgoingtobedif
ficultwi
thhi
m st
ayi
ng
i
nt heforce,
butIguessitstimeIputonmy
crownandst artbei
ngtheQueenofmy
household.GhostwasSiyaandSi yai
sGhost
.

That’
sthemanIf elli
nlov ewit
h,andchangi ng
hi
m wascl ear
lynotgoingt ohappen,soIwasn’ t
goingtocountthesacrif
icesImade.I nsteadI
wasgoingt oconti
nuemaki ngthesacr i
fi
cesI
neededtomaket omakemymar riagewor k,
becausedespitei
tall
,therewasnoot herman
onearththatIcoul
dev erwanttobewi t
h.

Si
yawasitforme.Despi
tehi
sfl
aws,
hewas
mineandIwashisfor
ever
.
[
05/
14,
17:
17]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

134
SiyabrokeourKissjustast
hingswer egett
ing
real
lysteamy.IswearIcoul
dkillhimforthat.
Likewhoi nt
heirri
ghtmindjuststopsoutof
nowher e

Me:
andnow 
Hi
m:y ouar
edist
ract
ingme,
andI
'
vegota
meet
ingtogetto
Me:
meet
ing?OnaSat
urday
 
Him:
I'
m sor
rybaby
.IfIknewy ouwer
ecomi
ng
homeIwoul
d'v
erescheduled 
Me:
it'
sOK.I
'
llmanage 
Hi
m:I
'
llonl
ybeaf
ewhour
s.Ipr
omi
se 
Me:don'
twor
ryabouti
t.I
'
llspendmyt
ime
cat
chi
ngupwithBoni
Him:ok.I
'
lll
ety
ouknowwhenI
'
m onmyat
home 
Me:
ok 
Hi
m:1mor
eki
ss

Ileanedi nandgavehim akiss,whichendedup

beingl ongerandmorediff
iculttostop.Iknow
hesai dhehadt ogo,butneitherofuswant ed
tost op.Isureashel
lwasn'tgoingtosay
any t
hing.Iwasenjoyi
ngmy selftoomuch.But
thenSi ya'
sphonerang.hepul l
edaway
reluctantl
y.

Hi
m:i
tsAndr
ea.Doy
oumi
ndi
fit
akei
t?
Me:
goahead

Siyatookt
hecal
l,
whil
ei wentpee.Forsome
reasoniwasgoi
ngtotheladi
eswaymor ethan
iusedto.
Wheni
gotbackt
other
oom,
Siy
awaschi
l
li
ng
ont
hebed.

Me:forsomeonewhohast
ogoy
ouar
ever
y
r
elax
ed

Hi
m:i
tol
dAndr
eat
ocancel

Me:
oh,
andmayi
askwhy

Hi
m:wel
ll
etsj
ustsayI
'
m hav
ingmor
efunher
e

Me:wel
lwhydon'
tyouwantf
ini
shof
fwhaty
ou
st
art
ed

Hi
m:wel
l
,comeher
e
Me:
comeandgetme

Hi
m:I
ficat
chy
ou.I
tsni
tgoi
ngt
obepr
ett
y

Me:
itnev
eri
swi
thus

Si
yagotof
fthebedandi
tookast
epback.

Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe,
youcantr
uni
nyourcondi
ti
on

Me:
siy
a,i
m pr
egnant
.Notsi
ck

Him:Ev
enso.Idon'
twantt
oyout
ohur
tmy
baby

If
aveupandj
ustwenti
ntohi
sar
ms
Me:
soI
'
vebeent
hinki
ng

Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng

Him:iwast
hinki
ngweshoul
dnameourson
Juni
or

Me:
son?

Hi
m:y
es.SON

Me:
siy
awhati
fit
sagi
rl

Hi
m: wesendherbackt
owher
evershecame
f
rom
Me:
(chuckl
es)i
thi
nki
tsagi
rl
.

Hi
m:Let
smakeadeal

Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng

Hi
m:ifi
tsaboy.Wenamehi
m af
terme,
andi
f
i
tsagir
lwe'
l
ldeci
deonaname

Me:
iwantt
onameherLesedi

Him:haai
Rif
il
oe.Mychi
l
disgoi
ngt
ohav
ea
Zul
uname.

Me:
habutbabyLesedi
isabeaut
if
ulname

Hi
m:noway
s.Ngeke.t
hisbabyi
saNdhl
ovu,
andal
lofushav
ezul
unames

Me:
let
sjustagr
eet
odisagreef
ort
imebeing.
Wecangavethi
sdi
scussi
onsomeothert
ime

Hi
m: ok,
sowhatwoul
dyoul
i
ket
odoi
nthe
i
nter
im

Me:mhmm welli
wast
hinki
ngwecoul
dmake
upf
orlostt
ime

It
ookof
fmyclothesandst
oodi
nfr
ontofhi
m
i
nmybir
thdaysui
t

Hi
m:damn

Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
ojustsi
tther
eorar
eyou
goi
ngt
ohel
pagi
rloutofhermi
ser
y

Hi
m:mhmn

Me:i
nthatcasei
l
lputmy
sel
foutofmyown
mi
sery

Iwentontheothersi
deoft
hebed,andstar
ted
pl
ayi
ngwi t
hmy sel
fwhil
ehewat
ched.Iknewhe
wasturnedon,
doi madesur
eiputononehell
ofashow.

Eventual
l
ySiyagaveupandcamet oj
oinme.
Wemadel ov
eoverandoveragai
n.Si
yawasso
sweetandgentl
e,butal
soknewjustwhati
needed.

Whenwewer
ebot
hfi
nal
l
ysat
isf
ied.Wesaton
t
hebedt
ryi
ngt
ocat
chourbr
eat
he

Hi
m: weshoul
dn'
tbedoi
ngt
hiswhi
l
eyour
pr
egnant

Me:
andwhynot

Hi
m:i
won'
twantt
ohur
tthebaby

Me:
baby,y
ouwon'thur
tany
one.Thebabyi
s
t
oofarf
oryout
oreach

Hi
m:i
nthatcase,
weshoul
dgoagai
n

Me:
hababy
.Notagai
n.I
'
mtoohungr
y

Hi
m:whatar
eyoui
nthemoodf
or
Me:
sur
pri
seme

Siyatookhi
sphoneandor
deredf
oodforus,
whileputmygownontoatt
endtoaknockon
thedoor.

Her:
I'
m sor
rytodist
urbmam.Butt
her
eis
someoneheretoseeMrNdhl
ovu

Sibongiledidn'
tev
engettofi
nishwhatshewas
saying,wheni sawLi
ndacomingupt hestai
rs
holdingthebabyinonehand,andOlwethoin
theot her.

Ist
eppedoutandclosedt
hedoor,becauseSi
ya
wassti
ll
walki
ngaroundinhi
sbir
thdaysuit
whenOlwet
hosawme,
hel
etgoofLi
ndaand
camerunni
ngt
ome.

Ihonestl
yfel
tbad.Ihadbeensobusywi
thmy
owndr ama,t
hatihadn'
tevenmadeti
met ocal
l
Olwethoandfi
ndouthowhewasdoi ng.

Af
tergi
vi
ngOl wet
hoahug,it
oldhimtogoto
hi
sroom,becausethel
ookonLinda'
sfacet
old
meshewasr eadytoki
l
l

Her
:wher
e'sOkwet
ho'
sfat
her

Me:youhav
esomener
veshowi
ngupher
eaf
ter
whatyoudi
d

Her
:It
snitmyfaul
tyourboyf
ri
endhasa
wonder
ingey
e.I'
m act
uall
ysurpr
isedy
ou
st
ayed.

Me:Well
usmarr
iedwomandon'
ttendtgi
veup
onourMARRI
AGESthateasi
l
y

Li
ndalookedatmehorri
fi
ed.I
twasobvi
ousshe
wasn'
tawarethatsi
yaandiweremar
ri
ed

Her:j
ustst
optal
ki
ngshi
t,andt
ell
mewher
e
si
yabongais

Me:
shamey
az.Tr
uthhur
tsne

Her:i
fyouthi
nkev enf
orasecondthatt
hisiso
er
,thenyouclear
lydon'
tknowmev erywel
l.I
maynotbeabl et
ogetSiya,buti
wil
lmakey our
l
if
eami ser
y .
Me:youbett
ermakesur
ethaty
ougi
vei
tyour
bestshot

Her
:(chuckl
es)

Siy
aopenedt
hedoor
,andl
ookedatme
surpr
ised

Hi
m:l
i
ndawhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e

Her
:it
ri
edcsl
l
ingy
oubuty
ourphonewasof
f

Hi
m:wel
ltheny
oushoul
d'
vel
eftaamessage

Her
:incadey
ouhavefor
git
ten,
itol
dy out
oday
wasthedayf
orOl
wetho'
skarat
etournament
Hi
m:shi
t.Icompl
etel
yfor
got

Her
:itst
art
sat2sowebet
tergetgoi
ng

Hi
m:Youguy
sgo,
andWe'
l
lmeety
out
her
e

Li
ndaturnedar
oundandlef
t,whi
l
eSi
yaandi
wentgotbacki
ntoourbedr
oom

Hi
m:babe,
doy
oumi
ndi
fwego
Me:
don'
tbesi
l
ly.He'
syourson 
Hi
m:y
oucomi
ngwi
thr
ight

Me:doy
oumi
ndi
fit
akear
aincheck?I
'
m abi
t
t
ir
ed

Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
baby
,I'
mfi
ne.Justt
ir
ed

Hi
m:t
hel
astt
imey
ousai
dthat
,youl
eftf
orPE

Me:
that
'snothappeni
ngagai
n

Hi
m:i
hopenot

Me:
siy
ajustgoshower
,yourgoi
ngt
obel
ate

Hi
m:ok.Uberusgoi
ngt
odel
i
very
ourf
ood

Me:
thanksbabe

Si
yar
ushedt
ogetr
eady
,andt
henl
eftf
or
Ol
wet
ho'
stour
nament
.Iwasn'
treal
l
ytoot
ir
ed
t
ogoto

Thet our nament ,butiwant edSiy atogi ve

Olwet hohi sundi vi
dedat t
ention,andi fi was
therei knowt hathewoul dbef affingov erme,
i
nsteadofhi sson.Andany wayt het i
meal one
woul dhel pmecomeupwi thaschedul efor
Siyatospendmi r
et i
newi t
hOl wet ho.Itwast ine
hest artedi ncorporati
nghimi nourl ivesona
ful
ltimebasi s.Hei safterallgoingt obeabi g
brother, andi don'twantSiy aspendi nglesst i
ne
withOl wet ho,becauseoft henewbaby .
Olwet hoi sapar tifhimjustasmuchast hi
s
baby ,andi twasaboutt i
meSi yatreatedhi m as
such.
[
05/
14,
17:
17]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

135
SinceSiy
alefttogoandatt
endOl
wetho’
s
tournament.Ideci
dedt
ocallmymzal
aandsee
i
fshewant edt ocomeover

Her
;hel
l
o 
Me;
Heyboo 
Her
;heyZal
a 
Me;
whaty
oudoi
ng?
 
Her
;not
hingmuch,
justchi
l
li
ngwi
thHl
okes 
Me;wannacomeov
er?OrcanIcomeseet
he
house 
Her
;comeov
er.I
’
llt
akey
ouonat
our
 
Me;
ok.I
’
llseey
ounow 
Her
;shar
p

Iqui
ckl
yst
eepedi
ntheshower
,thenchanged
i
ntomyt r
acksui
tandsneaker
s.Iwasaboutto
walkoutt
heroom, whenIr
emember edt
hatI
hadtospeaktoSiy
aaboutsecuri
ty,
soIcal
led
hi
m

Hi
m;Hel
l
o 
Me;
babe.I
tsme 
Hi
m;hi
 
Me;sor
ryt
odi
stur
b,Ij
ustwant
edt
oknowi
fyou
woul
dhaveapr
oblem wi
thmegoi
ngt
oBoni
’s
pl
ace 
Hi
m;It
houghty
ouwer
eti
red 
Me;
Iwasbabe
Hi
m;andnowmi
racul
ousl
yyouar
efi
ne 
Me;
baby
.Pl
easedon’
tbel
i
ket
his 
Hi
m;I
’
mjustaski
ng 
Me;
socanIgoor
Hi
m;(
sigh)f
ine.ButI
’
llhav
eoneoft
heguar
ds
t
akey
ou 
Me;
thanksbabe 
Hi
m;shar
p 
Itookmyhandbagandwentdownst
air
s.Iknow
Siyawaspr
obablyannoy
ed,
butIwasjustgoi
ng
toBonimos.

WhenIgotdownstai
rst
hecarwaswai
ti
ng.Igot
i
nandoffIwenttoBoni
’shouse.
 
Luckil
yitwasarathercl
ose15mindr i
ve.Iwas
honestl
yblownawaybyt hehouse.Itwas
absolut
elybeaut
if
ul.I
twasv er
yFrenchstyl
e
kindofhome.Iwassohappyf orthem.Iknew
thiswouldmakeabeautiful
famil
y

ThemomentIsawBoni Ismil
ed.Shel
ookedso
beaut
if
ul.Youcoul
dtel
lshewashappy.
Me;
youar
egl
owi
ng 
Her
;Bul
l
,you’
ret
heonewho’
sgl
owi
ng.
 
Me;
chummy
,ar
eyoupr
egnant
 
Her
;noway
s.

Wewal kedi
nandBonigavemetouroft
he
house,andIwasi
nabsolut
eawe.I
twasso
beauti
ful

Me;
myf
ri
end.I
t’
sst
unni
ng 
Her
;I’
m gl
ady
oul
i
kei
t 
Me;
didy
ouchoseev
ery
thi
ng 
Her
;yes
Me;
youhav
eaknackf
ort
his 
Her
;Iguess 
Me;
honest
ly.I
t’
sbeaut
if
ul 
Her
;thanky
ou

Istayedwi
thBoniforover3hour
s,andthen
decidedi
twasti
meIwenthome.Ihadj ust
stoodup,whenIsawLindawalki
nginas
thoughsheownedt hepl
ace.

Shel
ookedatmeandt
henatBoni

Her
;IsHl
okesher
e 
Boni
;let
’sstar
twit
hyouwalki
ngbackoutsi
de,
andknockingonmydoorandthengreet
ingme,
andthenonlyaski
ngmewheremymani s 
Her
;Iwi
l
ldonosucht
hing.

Boni
stoodupandwentt
owar
dsLi
nda
Boni
;di
srespectmeonemor
eti
me 
Li
nda;
wel
lwhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odoabouti
t 
Boni
;Iwi
l
lsl
apt
heshotoutofy
ou 
Li
nda;
Iwoul
dlov
etoseey
out
ry

Ii
mmedi atel
ygotupandwentt
oBoni
,because
Iknewshewascapableofwhoopi
ngLi
nda
despi
teLindahol
dingt
hebaby

Hlokesmust
’veheardthecommot
ion,
because
hecamedownstairsrubbi
nghi
sey
es

Hi
m;whati
sgoi
ngon

Hel
ookedatusandi
mmedi
atel
yknew

Hi
m;Li
nda,
Itol
dyout
ocal
lbef
orecomi
ng
her
e 
Her
;Idon’tseewhynot
.It
’snotl
i
key
ouar
e
marr
iedtothewhore

Iheldont
oBonisoshewoul
dn’
tjumpLi
nda.
Causethedev
il
ishl
ooki
nhereyeswasbeyond
crazy

Hi
m;Li
nda.St
opt
alki
ngt
oBoni
li
ket
hat

Li
ndal
ookedatHl
okesandshookhi
shead

Hi
m;youknowIt
houghty
ouhadball
s,but
cl
ear
lyy
ouandSi
yaarenodi
ff
erent

Shetookthebaby
,andgav
ehi
mtoHl
okes,
then
walkedout 
Il
ookedatBoni
andHl
okes,
andt
heywer
ebot
h
st
unned

Me;
didshehonest
lyj
ustl
eav
eherbaby
 
Boni
;ofcour
seshedi
d

Hl
okest
ookthebabyandgav
ehimtoBoni,
t
henwentout
sidet
ostopLi
ndaIguess.

Il
ookedatBoni
andwebot
hbur
stoutl
aughi
ng

Her
;It
snotf
unnyy
ouknow
Me;
Iknow,
butt
hatwomani
scr
aycr
ay 
Her
;tel
lmeabouti
t 
Me;
letmet
akeagoodl
ookatt
hisbaby

Ihel
dhi
minmyar
msandhewashonest
ly
gor
geous.Hewasaspi
tt
ingi
mageofHl
okes

Her
;hel
ooksj
ustl
i
kehi
m doesn’
the 
Me;
yah 
Her
;Iwi
shshecoul
djustdi
sappear
,andl
eav
e
Owamiwit
hus 
Me;
Owami
.That
’sani
cename 
Her
;Iguess

Hlokescamebackl
ooki
ngdefeat
ed.Iknew
r
ightthent
hatLi
ndahadl
eft

Hi
m;shehonest
lyl
eft
 
Boni
;wel
l
.Goodr
iddance 
Hi
m;Bonz,
howcany
ousayt
ha
Her;
wel
l,wecant
akecar
eofOwami
andshe
cangot
ohell
.
Iknewrightthent
hati
twasti
meIl ef
t.Thi
s
conver
sationwastobehadbetweenthetwoof
them

IgaveOwami
toBoni
,andbi
dthem bot
h
far
ewell
.

WhenIarri
vedhome,Siy
awasi
nhi
sof
fi
ce.I
knockedandwalkedi
n

Hi
m;di
dIsaycomei
n?
Me;
youdi
dn’
tneedt
o 
Hi
m;Imi
ssedy
ou 
Me;
whendi
dyougetback 
Hi
m;aboutanhourago
Me;
whydi
dn’
tyoucal
l
 
Hi
m;Idi
dn’
twantt
odi
stur
b 
Me;
`Howv
erycoyofy
ou 
Hi
m;It
ry

AsIwasspeaki
ngt
osi
yai
nwal
kedOl
wet
hoi
n
hiPJ’
s

Hi
;aunt
yyou’
rehome 
Me;
yesmyboy
Him;daddyboughtussomecake.CanIpl
ease
havesome? 
Me;
hav
eyouhadsupper
 
Hi
m;y
es.Ihad2pi
zzasl
i
ces 
Me;
Okmyl
ove.I
llmeety
oui
ntheki
tchen

Ol
wet
hol
eft
,andl
eftmewi
thSi
ya
Him;soLi
nda’
sdeci
dedt
ojustdr
ophi
m of
f
here 
Me;
asi
nonaf
ull
timebasi
s
Hi
m;Iguessso 
Me;
wel
lonel
esspr
obl
em 
Hi
m;ar
eyouser
ious
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;wel
lthatwaswei
rd 
Me;Siy
a,youknowIl
oveOlwetho.He’
syour
son,
whichmakeshim mi
netoo 
Hi
m;we’
l
lhav
etol
ookatget
ti
ngananny
 
Me;wecandot
hattomor
row.Fornow,
wear
e
goi
ngtohav
ecakewit
hOlwetho 
Hi
m;babycanIj
oiny
oui
n5 
Me;no.Ol
wet
howant
stohav
ecakenow.Sowe
hav
ecakenow 
Hi
m;Youar
egoi
ngt
ospoi
lhi
m 
Me;
justcomeSi
yaMaan

Siyast
oodup, andwalkedwi t
hmet othe
kit
chen.Iknowi twasgoingtobehardforhim
togetusedtosepar at
inghisworkl
ifeandhis
famil
yli
fe.Rightnowwast hetimeforfamil
y,
whichmeanthi sempirewouldhavetojustwait
[
05/
14,
17:
21]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

136

(myapol
ogiesmyfri
ends.Thi
ngsatworkar
e
sti
l
lcr
azy.Ihopey
ouguy sunder
stand.)

Wewentdownst air
stohavesomecakewit
h
Olwetho,ThenSi
yawenttotuckhi
min,whi
l
eI
hadabat h.Si
yacameupstai
rsandIwas
al
readyinbed.
Hi
m;l
etsgoshower
 
Me;
Ijusthadabat
h 
Hi
m;haw,
babykanj
ani
 
Me;aski
esbabe.Iwasti
red,soIthoughtwoul
d
haveabathandgettobed.Pluswe’r
egoingto
churcht
omorrow 
Hi
m;mhmm chur
ch?
Me;
yes.Chur
ch 
Hi
m;mhmmm 
Me;
don’
tsul
k 
Hi
m;wel
l
,Iki
ndofhadhopes 
Me;
whatki
ndofhopes 
Hi
m;wel
l
,Iwashopi
ngt
omakel
ovet
omywi
fe 
Me;
mhmm,
wel
lyoucanst
il
ldot
hat
 
Hi
m;Comeshowerwi
thme 
Me;
haaSi
ya 
Hi
m;Babymaan 
Me;
noway
s 
Hi
m;f
inemxm

Igotupandwentt ostandinf
rontofhim
becausehelookedli
kehewant edtosulk,
andI
honestl
ynotinthemoodf ort
hat.Ist
oodin
fr
ontofhim andstoodonmyt i
ptoes,soIcoul
d
star
tkissi
nghim. 
Atfi
rstSiyadi
dn’
trespond,butev
ent
ual
l
yhe
st
art
edr espondi
ng,andIknewhewasoverhi
s
mood. 
Wemovedf
rom St
andingt
omebeingonhi
slap.
It
ookof
fmytopsohecouldpl
aywit
hmy
ni
ppl
es,
whi
l
eIkissedhim.
 
Ihavenoi
deawhatmademelookatt
hedoor
,
butIsawOl
wethost
andi
ngt
here.
IjumpedoffSiyaandcov
eredmy sel
fwi
tha
throw.Si
yalookedatme,andIpoint
edat
Olwetho.
 
HeGotupandwentt
ohi
m

Hi
m;Boy
.What
’swr
ong?
 
Ol
wethodi dn’
tanswer
.Inst
eadhej ustst
ared
i
ntospace.Iputonmyt op,andlookedatSiy
a
whowasj ustpuzzl
ed,t
henoutofnowher e
Ol
wethost art
edshaki
ng,dr
astical
ly.
 
Siy
aheldontohim andtr
iedstoppingit,buti
t
j
ustgotworse,andSiyal
iter
all
yfroze.Theonly
thi
nggoingthr
oughmymi ndwast oget
Olwet
hot ot
hehospital
,becausehel ookedli
ke
hewashav i
ngfit
sorsomet hi
ng 
Iputonmyj
eans,
andt
ookSi
ya’
scarkey
s

Me;
Siy
a,weneedt
ogethi
mtoahospi
tal
Siyal
ookedatme,thenatOlwetho.Hewasso
zonedout,
Ihadnoideawhatwasgoi ngonwi t
h
him.Mostti
meshei ssoputtogether
,butt
his
ti
mehewasj ustst
andingt
here

Iknel
tdowni
nfr
ontofSi
ya,
andshookhi
m

Me;Siy
adamni tsnapoutofi
t.Weneedt
oget
hi
mt oahospi
tal

IpickedupOlwet ho,whofeltl
ikehewei ghta
ton,andwalkedtot hecar.Idi
dn’texactl
yhave
ti
met owaitforSiya,becauseIhav enoidea
whathadgot tenintohim,soinsteadIjustgoti
n
thecaranddr ovetothehospital
. 
Ever
ythi
ngwashappeni
ngsof
ast
,Ihadnoi
dea
whatIwasdoi
ng.
Iar
ri
vedattheemergencyroom,
andall
Iknow
i
stheytookOlwet
ho,andtoldmetowai
t… 
Isatonthebenchwait
ingforever
.Ical
l
edBoni
andaskedhertogetHlokestogocheckupon
Siy
a.Idon’
tgethowSiyajustfr
oze.

Boni
arr
ivedwhi
l
eIwasst
il
lwai
ti
ng

Her
;hey
 
Me;
hey
 
Her
;whathappened 
Me;Ihavenoidea.Ol
wet
hoj
ustst
art
edshaki
ng
outofnowher
e 
Her
;Damn 
Me;
tel
lmeabouti
t 
Her
;hopey
oudon’
tmi
nd,
butIl
eftOwami
wit
h
Si
bongi
l
e 
Me;
itsf
ine.
 
Her
;Hl
okesandSi
yaar
eont
hei
rway
 
Me;
cool

Wesatont hebenchandwehadnoupdate
f
rom anyofthedoctor
s.I
nst
eadtheykept
t
ell
i
ngust owaitti
ll
hewasoutofsurger
y

Siy
aar r
ivedandlookedlikehehaddi edadozen
deathsinthepasthours.Notsol ongagowe
wereallsmilesandnowher ewewer eina
hospit
al,wit
hhisSonfightingforhisli
fe

Ist
oodupandwenti
ntohi
sar
ms

Hi
m;howy
ouhol
dingup 
Me;
imf
ine.ar
eyouok 
Him;I’
mf i
ne.Ij
ustdon’
tunder
standwhat
happened 
Me;wehaven’
trecei
vedanupdat
efr
om t
he
Doct
orsyet
 
Hi
m;Thanky
ou.Idon’
tknowwhatwentwr
ong
wi
thme 
Me;
don’
tthankme.l
et’
sjustpr
ayhe’
sok 
Him; Idon’
tgetitRi
fi
loe.Ol
wet
howasf i
ne,and
thenal l
ofasudden.Whydidn’
tInoti
ce
anything.I
’
mt heonewhoputhimt obed 
Me;baby
,Thisi
snoty
ourf
aul
t.Wedon’
tev
en
knowwhat’
swrongwi
thhi
m 
Him;I
’
m hisf
ather.Ishoul
d’
veknown
somethi
ngwasn’tri
ght

Itri
edtomakeSiy
aseethatt
herewasnotel
l
ing
thatsomet
hingwaswr
ongwi t
hOlwet
ho,t
il
lhe
hadtheat
tack,
buthewashav
ingnoneofi
t.
I
nsteadhewasbeati
nghi
mselfup.

West ayedi
nthehospit
alf
orhour
swithno
feedback.I
twasalr
eadymorni
ng,whenIsaw
Lindacomingtowar
dsuslooki
ngfuri
ous.

Shechar
gedtowardsme,ast
houghshewant
ed
toki
ll
me,butlucki
l
yBoni
wasonestepahead
ofher
.

Her
;youf
ucki
ngwi
tch.Howcoul
dyoudot
his
t
omychil
d

Il
ookedatLindaconf
used.Wast
hismor
on
honest
lybl
amingmef ort
his?

Her
;I’
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou.
Ihonest
lywasatalossf
orwor
ds.Li
ke,
was
thi
sreal
lyhappeni
ng?

Lindawasmaki
ngsuchascene,
andIwas
total
l
yembar
rassed

Her;
Siy
ahowcoul
dy oul
ett
hishappen?How
coul
dyoul
ett
hiswi
tchtr
ypoisonmychil
d? 
Hi
m;Li
nda.Justf
ucki
ngst
opwi
thy
ourbul
l
shi
t.
 
Her;
youaredisgusti
ngSiy
a.Youhearme?you
ar
edisgusti
ng.Ileav
eyoursonwit
hy ouf
orone
ni
ght,andhelandsupinhospi
tal
ye. 
Hi
m;Li
nda,
I’
m war
ningy
ou 
Her;
whatthehell
areyougoingtodoyouass.
Youareafucki
ngpoorexcuseofafat
her.You
ar
enev ert
her
eforhim.You’
veseenhi
m what.
Oncein5months,andnowy ouwantt
osithere
andpret
endt
ocare,
whenyourst
upi
dwi
fei
s
theonewhowant
stoki
ll
ourson

Siyast
oodup,andIgotupjustasqui
ck,
soI
couldst
ophim,becauseIknewhewasreadyt
o
fl
ippi
ngcrushher

Me;
Siy
a.She’
snotwor
thi
t 
Hi
m;getof
fmeRi
fi
loe.
Me;
baby
.Lookatme

Siy
alookedawayandt r
iedpul
li
ngmyhandsof
f
hi
m, butlucki
lyHl
okesI
nter
vened,
whi
l
eBoni
hel
dont oLinda.

Iwashonest
lysoti
redofLi
ndaandherdrama,
andIj
ustwantedhertof
ucki
ngdisappear
 
Her
;IswearSi
ya.I
’
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lher
.Your
f
ucki
ngwi
fei
sgoi
ngt
odi
efort
his 
Hi
m;that
’si
fIdon’
tgett
oyouf
ir
sty
ouf
ucki
ng
whor
e 
Her;me.Awhore?Youar ethewhore.Youare
theonewho’sgottwowomenpr egnantatthe
samet i
me.Haveyoutoldyourpr
eciouswife
thatJessi
cai
spregnantha?Haveyou

Iswearhear dwr ong.Didthi

sbi tchjusttel
lme
Jessicai spregnant
?IlookedatSi yaandpr ayed
toGodLi ndawasl yi
ng,becauset hi
sjust
couldn’tbetrue.Siyawould’
v etoldme.Ther eis
nowayt hatthiswast r
ue.Irefusetobelieve
thi
s,butf orsomer easonSiyadi dn’
tsay
anything.Hej ustl
ookedbackatmeandwai t
ed
formyr eaction.Lordhelphim, t
hishadbet t
er
beal i
e, becauseifitweretr
ueal lhellwasgoing
tobreakl ose.
[
05/
14,
17:
23]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
137

(
croptop2.Sor
ryl
oves.I
'
'vegott
ogetbackt
o
work)

Il
ookedatSi
yawaiti
ngf orhimtot
ell
meshe
waslyi
ng,
butnot
hing.Insteadt
hedoctor
s
cameoutandcamet owardsus

Him; GoodDay
.YoumustbeOl
wet
hoNdhl
ovu’
s
parents.
 
Si
ya;
that
’smeandher

HepointedatLinda,andtheywereledtothe
doct
or’soff
ice.Theonesideofmewant edt
o
l
eave,butIknewt hatIhadtowaitforSi
yato
gi
vemeanexpl anati
on.ThereasonItook2
mont hsawaywasf ormetoworkonmy self
.I
promisedmy sel
fIwouldt
rynott
oov er
react,
butthegir
linmewant edt
orunfordearli
fe.

Boni
satdownwi
thmewhi
l
ewewai
tedf
or
news

Her
;Rif
il
oe.Don’
tli
stent
oher
,she’
sjustt
ryi
ng
t
earyouguysapart
 
Me;
Ihopey
ou’
rer
ight
 
Her;
Rif
il
oe,
thatpsy
chowi
l
ldoany
thi
ngt
o
br
eakyouup. 
Me;
andhowcanshebl
amemef
ort
his
Her;
haai,t
hatwomanhaspr
obl
emsmaan.
Don’
tli
stentoher
Me;
haai
 
Her
;Rif
il
oe,Si
yaisgoingt
hroughsomething
t
hatisdevast
ati
ng.Youneedtostandf
irm.You
arehiswif
e.Heneedsy ou.For
getwhatshe
saidaboutJessi
ca.Al
lthat’
simpor
tantnow,i
s
Olwetho

Inoddedandj
ustdeci
dedt
odoasshesai
d.

Wesatoutther
eforhour
s.Boni
wentt
ogetus
br
eakf
astandwewai t
edsomemore.
 
IknowOl wet
howasn’ tmychi l
d,butIwas
honestlybroken.Ij
ustwant edthem totellus
thathewasok, andthatwecoul dtakehi m
home, butforsomer easonIknewt hatthi
ngs
weregoi ngtogetugly,beforetheygotwor se,
andallbecauseoft hisbi
tchcal l
edLinda.Like
forgoodnesssakes, can’
tIjustgetabr eaknxa.
It
’sli
ket heuniver
sehadsomet hingagainstus
stru

Fi
nal
l
yatar
oundMi
dday
,Si
yaandLi
ndacame
t
ojoi
nusatt
hewai
ti
ngar
ea.Si
yasatnextt
o
me

Me;
howi
she 
Hi
m;wedi
dn’
tgett
oseehi
m 
Me;
whatdot
hedoct
orssay
 
Hi
m;theycan’
tfi
ndthepr
obl
em.Theyar
e
r
unni
ngmor et
ests
Me;
howcant
heynotknow 
Hi
m;Ihav
enoi
dea 
Me;
let
’sj
usthopet
heyf
indout
 
Hi
m;weneedt
otal
k 
Me;Siya,
notnow.Allthat’
simport
antnowis
makingsureyourSon.Actuall
yourSonist
aken
car
eof.Wewi ll
tal
katal aterst
age

IknowSi
yawaspr
obabl
yconf
used,
butIwasn’
t
goi
ngt odiscusst
hisher.Boniwasri
ght.Ihad
tobef i
rm.Iwasn’
tgoingtostr
essmy selfover
thi
s.Inst
eadIam goingtopraythatOl
wet hoget
wellsoIcankicktheshi
toutofhisfat
her

Thedoctorsadvi
sedusthatt
heywouldbe
keepi
ngOlwetho.Theysai
dweshouldgohome
fort
henight,
butSi y
adi
dn’
twanttol
eavehim,
soIsatwithhim andwewait
ed.

BoniandHl
okesl
eft
,becauset
heyneededto
att
endtoOwami,
whil
eLindastay
edatthe
hospi
tal
.

Hi
m;baby
,youshoul
dgohomeandr
est
 
Me;
il
lbef
ine 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
youhav
en’
tsl
ept
. 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;babypl
ease.Youar
ecar
ryi
ngmychi
l
d.I
needyoutorest

Il
ookedint
ohiseyes,andsawhewasjustas
ti
red,
andinhonest
y,Ineededsomesl
eep. 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;t
hanky
ou 
Me;
letmeknowi
fther
e’sanupdat
e 
Hi
m;wi
l
ldo

Il
eanedi
nandgaveSiyaakissont hecheek.I
knowdeepdownIwasmadasf uck,butI
wasn’
tgoi
ngtol
etthatbi
tchknow

Idrovehomeandgotint
obed.Iwoul
dbathand
eatlat
er.Ri
ghtnowal
lIneededwassl
eep.
Imustvebeenasl
eepforafewhourswhenI
heardmyphoneri
nging.Iwassodrowsy,I
real
l
ydidn’
twanttoanswer,butt
henIhadno
choi
ce

Me;
mmmhel
l
ow
Her
;makot
i 
Me;
hiMa 
Her
;uphi
 
Me;
ngi
sekhay
ama 
Her
;I’
m onmyway
 
Me;
howf
arar
eyou 
Her
;5mi
n 
Me;
ok 
Iendedthecal
landwentt
ot akea2mi n
shower,
thencameoutandwor eadr
essand
mydoek.Thenwentdownstairs.
Si
ya’
smot
herar
ri
vedandgav
emeahug

Her
;howar
eyouhol
dingup 
Me;
I’
m okmaandy
ou 
Her
;Idon’
tknowhowmuchmor
eIcant
ake 
Me;I
tsgoi
ngt
obeokMa.Al
lwecandonowi
s
pr
ay 
Her
;that
’st
rue
Me;
sit
.Letmemakey
ousomet
ea
Her
;pl
easemybaby

Iaskedtheguar
dstotakeSiy
a’smother
’s
l
uggaget ooneoft
hebedrooms,andmadeher
somet eaandbi
scui
tsthenwenttosi
twithher
 
Her
;tel
lmeMakot
i.Exact
lywhathappened?
Ir
esist
edt hestor
yofwhathappenedandSi
ya’
s
motherjustshookherhead.

Her;andy
ousayt
hedoct
orsdon’
tknowwhat
’s
wrongwit
hhi
m 
Me;
yesMa
Her
;nomaan,thi
sseemst
obesomet
hingt
hat
waspl
anned 
Me;
howma
Her;
Olwethohasnev
erbeenasi
ckl
ychi
l
d.Why
al
lofasudden 
Me;
Ihav
enoi
dea 
Her
;thi
shasmut
hiwr
it
tenal
lov
eri
t

WhenSi ya’
smot hersai
dthatIwasabit
shocked.Likemywhol el
if
eI’v
eneverhaddeal
withMuthi.Mymot heral
wayssaidpr
ay erwas
thewaytogo, sonowIwasatcr ossroad.
Me;
ma.Mut
hi 
Her
;yes.Nowt
akemet othehospi
tal
.Ineedt
o
goandseemygrandson 
Me;
ok

Iwentupstai
rstogetmyhandbag,andwel ef
t
fort
hehospital
.Siya’
smot
herdidn’tsaymuch
tome.Shespentmostofthetri
pt othehospi
tal
onthephonewi t
hsomeprophetorSangoma,
I’
m notexact
lysure.

Whenwegott otheHospi
tal
,Li
ndawassi t
ti
ng
nexttoSi
y awithhi
m comfor
ti
ngher.Si
ya’s
motherli
teral
l
ypushedherouttheway,and
huggedherson.

Her
;soLi
ndawhyar
eyouher
evel
a 
Li
nda;hawMa,
mysoni
sher
e,wher
eel
se
woul
dIbe

Si
yacamet
osi
tnextt
ome,
andj
ustl
ookedon

Her;
Youshoul
dbewher
every
ouwer
elast
ni
ght 
Li
nda;
ButMa
Her;whatkindofawomanjustdumpst hei
r
chil
drenatthei
rfat
her
?It
’sagoodthingmy
prophetisonhiswayher
e.Iam goi
ngtogetto
thebottom oft
his.

Li
nda’
seyeswidened,Idon’
tknowwhy ,
butfor
somereasonshelookedworri
ed,
inst
eadof
pl
eased.I
t’
sli
kemay besheknewsomet hi
ngwe
di
dn’
tknow. 
Iputmyt
hought
sofLi
ndaasi
deandj
ust
prayedforOl
wet ho.Ididn’tcareaboutpr ophets
orSangoma’sall Icar
edaboutwast hedoct ors
fi
ndingoutwhatwaswr ong,andtreati
nghi m.
Hewasachi ldandhedi dn’tdeserveanyoft hi
s.
Thelookinhisey esabsolutelybrokeme, andI
j
ustprayedthatGodwoul dhearmypr ayer s,
becauseIdon’tknowhowSi yawouldt akei t
,if
helostOlwetho
[
05/
14,
17:
26]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

138

West ayedatthehospi
tal
forafewmor ehour
s,
thenwel ef
ttogotothehousebecausethe
prophethadarri
ved.

Lindarefusedtoleav
eOl wet
ho,sowel efther
there.ButSiyaal
soleftoneoft
heguar dsther
e
tomakesur eLi
ndadoesn'tt
ryanyt
hing.
Whenwearr
ivedhomeSibongil
ehadalr
eady
madedi
nner,
butnobodyate.It
hinkwewereal
l
wor
ri
edaboutOlwet
ho.

Theprophetarr
ivedandwewenttothelounge.
Iwasn'tr
eal
lycomf or
tabl
ebei
ngher
ef orthi
s,
butihadnochoice.

Thepr ophettoldusal otofthi

ngsbutmainly
thatt
her ewasadar kcloudaroundus.He
mentionedt hatwewer egoi
ngtobeOK
event
ual l
y,butforti
mebei ngthingsweregoi
ng
togetwor sebef or
et heygotbetter
.

Theprophettol
dustobathinhol
yashandto
prayandfasttogetr
idoft
heevil
aroundus,but
heinsi
stedonusallgoi
ngbacktothehospi
tal
forhi
mt oseeOlwetho.
Wet ol
dhimthatthedoct
orsdi
dn'
twantust
o
seehim andhesaidwewouldseewhenweget
ther
e.

Iconv
incedSiyatof
ir
sttakeashowerbefore
welef
t,becausehehadn'
tsleptorshower
ed
si
nceOlwethowasinHospital

OnceSi
yawasdonewel
eftf
ort
hehospi
tal
agai
n.

Whenwegott hehospi
tal
therewasno
di
fference.Olwethowasstil
lunconsciousand
notrespondingtomedicati
on,butluckil
ythey
al
lowedust oseehi m.

Weal
lwal
kedi
nandsawhi
mfort
hef
ir
stt
ime
si
ncehecol
l
apsed

MaNdhl ov
useniorcouldn'tholdhertear
s.She
washonest l
yheartbroken.IsawSi yawipea
tearfr
om hiseyes,whil
eLi ndalooked
dist
raught
.

Theprophetdidn'
tsayanyt
hing.hejustpr
ayed,
overandoveragain.HekeptaskingGodto
reveal
thetr
uth,andoutofnowher eLi
ndabroke
down.

Her:
itwasn'
tsupposestobeli
kethi
s.He
wasn'
tsupposestogethur
t.Pl
ease.Youhae
t
obeliev
eme

Il
ookedatSi
yaandhel
ookedj
ustasshocked.
Thepr
ophetsmi
l
ed.

Him:I
'v
ebeenwai t
ingforyoutoconf
ess,
but
youhaven'
ttol
dthem ever
ythi
ng.

Lindat
urnedt
oSi
ya,
whoi
coul
dtel
lwasabout
toexpl
ode

Her:SiyaI'
m sorr
y.Itwasn'tsupposest
obelike
thi
s.Ijustwantedyout ol
eav eher.I
twasand
alwayshadbeenj uatthethreeofus.Wewerea
famil
ySi y
a.Wewer ef i
neunt i
lshecameint
o
thepictur
e

Hi
m:Li
ndadoy
ouev
enheary
our
sel
fye?

Her
:thesangomaassuredmethati
twoul
dn't
hur
thim.I
twasjustsupposedt
omakehim act
outar
oundher
.Sot
haty
oucoul
dleav
eher
.I
swearSi
ya.

Si
yawalkedt
owardsLi
nda.Igotupt
ost
ophi
m
buthi
smotherst
oppedme.

Him:youfucki
ngwhore.Howcoul
dyou.He'
s
oursonforGodssake

Her:Siy
aI.Ijustwantedthi
ngsbackt
otheway
theywere.Ididn'
tthi
nkitwoul
dleadt
othi
s.
Pleaseyouhav etobeli
eveme.

Thenextt
hingiknowSiyahadpul
l
edhi
sgun
andhewaspointi
ngitather
.

Att
hatmomentshutgotr
eal
.Ihadnodoubt
Si
yawoul
dpul
lthetri
gger
.
MaNdhlovuletgoofmyhand,andi
went
t
owardsSiyai neededt
ostophi
mfrom maki
ng
t
hebiggestmistakeofhisl
i
fe

Me:
baby
.Pl
ease.Putt
hegundown

Hi
m:Ri
fi
loebackof
f.

Me:pleasepapamaan.Youdon'
tneedt
odo
t
his.

Thepr
ophetl
ookedatus

Hi
m: li
stent
oyourwi
fe.Thi
sisn'
tthewayt
odo
t
hings.
Si
yadi
dn'
tmov
e.Hekeptt
hegunatherhead

ME:Ndhl
ovu.baby
.Pl
ease.Justputt
hegun
down
Hi
m:shedeser
vest
odi
eRi
fi
loe
Me:
yesshedoes.Butnotaty
ourhands

Il
ookedatMaNdhl
ovuf
orsuppor
t

Her
:Si
yabonga,
don'
tdot
his.She'
snotwor
thi
t

Si
yar
eluct
ant
lyputt
hegundown

Him:Doyoursel
fafavorandrun.RUNasfar
awayasyoupossiblycan.Rubandmakesurei
don'
tfi
ndyou,becauseifidoiwil
lski
nyou
al
iveLi
nda
Her
:butSi
ya,
myson

Hi
m:y
oudon'
thav
eason.Youhav
enot
hing.

Her
:si
yapl
ease

Siy
aslappedLi
ndasohar
d.Isweari
fel
titon
herbehal
f.

Hi
m: i
fieverhearfr
om youorseeyoui
twil
lbe
t
hedayy oudie.Sodoyoursel
fafav
orand
l
eave.NOW

Li
ndar
ushedoutandl
eftusal
lst
il
lshoked.

Si
yawassomad,
hewasbasi
cal
l
yshaki
ng.
Hel
ookedatme

Hi
m: don'
tyouever.Andimeanevert
ry
st
oppingmefrom deali
ngwit
hthatwi
tch.Ar
e
weclear

IknowSi
yawasj
ustl
ashi
ngoutbecauset
her
e
wasnooneel
set
olashoutat

Iwalkedt
ohim andputmyarmsaroundhim.I
knewdeepdownhewasj ustmadbecausethi
s
si
tuati
onwasoutofhishands

Me:
I'
m sor
rybaby
.

Si
yadidn'
tsayanyt
hing.Hedidn'
tevenhugme
backbutidi
dn'
tcare.Al
lthatmatt
eredwas
Ol
wet
ho.

Thepr
ophetgat
heredusaroundOlwetho'sbed
andmadeaprayerforhi
srecover
y.Het hent
old
ustol
eaveandcomebacki nthemorning.

Hewasgoingtostaythenightatthehospi
tal
pray
ingandhopef
ull
yGodwoul dgi vehi
m
answersonhowtoreverseevery
thingthat
Li
ndahaddone.

Whenwegethomewehaddi
nnermai
nlyi
n
si
l
ence.
 
Aft
ereati
ngiwenttorunMaNdhl
ovuabubbl
e
bat
h,thenret
ir
edtoourbedr
oom.

Si
yawal
kedoutasi
wal
kedi
n
Me:
wher
eyougoi
ng?
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe,
notnow 
Me:
Promi
semey
ouwontdoany
thi
ngst
upi
d 
Hi
m:mov
eoutt
heway
 
Me:
baby
,pl
easepr
omi
se
Hi
m:Iwontdoany
thi
ngst
upi
d
me:i
sther
eanywayi
canconv
incey
out
ost
ay
home
Hi
m:no
Me:
int
hatcasegi
vemeaki
ssgoodni
ght

Siy
alookedatmepuzzled.hewasprobably
expecti
ngmetogoallapeshitonhi
m, buti
wasn'tgoi
ngtodot
hat.
I
fheneededtogooutandv entt
ogetpassed
thi
s,t
henheshoulddothat
.Iontheotherhand
wasgoingtogetsomemuchneededr est.I
neededtoal
sotakecar
eofmygr owingbaby.
Siyawasabi
gboyandhewoul
djusthav
eto
takecar
eofhi
msel
f.
[
05/
14,
17:
27]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

139

SiyalefttogotoGodknowswher e,whi
leihad
my selfanicehotbath.Isatinthetubtryi
ngto
seeift her
ewasabumpy et,butt
herewas
nothing.Iwasstil
lfl
at.Butthenagainiwasonl y
14weeks.Iwasr eal
lyexcit
edt oseemyl i
ttl
e
bundleofj oy
,butatthesamet i
mei wasabi t
wor r
iedaboutSiya.Ij
ustpray edthatt
he
prophetwoul dfi
ndasol ut
ionsot hatwecanall
mov eon.
Igotoutthepathandchangedi
ntomyPJ's.I
wasalreadydrowsy,
soiwentstr
aightt
osleep.

Iwasreal
lyenj
oyingmysleep,
wheni hear
d
somethi
ngbreak.Igotupandihear
dsome
moreshuffl
i
ng.

Igotupandputonmygown,
thenwal
ked
downstai
rs.

IfoundSiyawalki
ngupthest ai
rsasthoughhe
wasabr eakdancer.Hewasbusysi ngi
ngsome
songandwasmaki ngahellofanoise.Ij
ust
knewthent hathewasdrunk.

Me:
shhhSi
yamaan
Hi
m:thereshei
sladi
es.Thewomanwhost
ole
myheart
Me:
You'
redr
unk.
 
Hi
m:andy
ou'
rebeaut
if
ul
Me:
comel
et'
sgety
out
obed 
Hi
m:(
giggl
es)

Irol
l
edmyeyesandhel
pedhi
m upt
hest
air
sto
ourbedr
oom.

Me:
getundr
essed
Hi
m:whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odot
ome
Me:
not
hing 
him:i
nthatcasei
woul
drat
hergot
omyman
caveanddri
nksomemore 
Me:
Siy
acomet
obedmaan.I
ts2am
Hi
m:y
oursobossy
 
Me:
iknow
Hi
m:i
ttur
nsmeon
Me:
Siy
a. 
Hi
m:y
esNana
Me:getundr
essedsowecansl
eept
u.I
'
mti
red
ashel
l

Siy
aTookof
fhi
sShirt
,thencol
l
apsedont
he
bedwi
thhi
sshoeson.

Me:
Siy
amaan
Hi
m:mhmm

Iknewifhefel
lasl
eephewasgoingtosleep
withhi
sshoesonandthatwasnitanoption.So
nowitwasupt ometoundresst
herestofhim

Igotupandst
art
edwit
hhisshi
esandsocks.
Thenimovedtohi
sbel
t.
Si
yai
mmedi
atel
ysatup

Hi
m:i
li
key
ourwayoft
hinki
ng 
Me:I
'mjustgett
ingy
ououty
ourj
eansbuddy
.
Not
hingelse.
 
Hi
m:mxm

Si
yalaybackdownandi
shuf
fl
edhi
m outhi
s
pant
s.

Atl
eastnowi
coul
dsl
eep.

Igotinbedandi tl
ookedli
ket
heuniver
sewas
againstme,becauseSiy
astar
tedsnori
ngl
ikea
hel
icoptert
hatwasonf i
re.
Itr
iedshi
ft
inghim sohecouldst
op,butni
x.He
wasonlygett
inglouder.Soi
deci
dedtosleepi
n
oneoftheotherbedrooms.

Iwokeupt
hef
oll
owi
ngandf
oundSi
yanextt
o
me.

Idon'
tev
enr
ememberhi
m comi
ngt
othi
sroom.

Igotoutofbedandwentt
oourbedr
oom soi
coul
dtakeashower.

Wheni
gotoutSi
yawasi
nthebedr
oom

Me:
mor
ning 
Hi
m: iknowyourmadatme.I '
m sor
rybaby.I
j
ustneededti
met oj
ustabsorb
ever
ythi
ng.
.pl
easedon'
tmov eoutourbedr
oom.
Youknowi
hat
esl
eepi
ngwi
thouty
ou 
Me:Si
yawil
lyouj
ustshutupandt
akeashower
.
Yousmel
ll
ikeashabeen
Hi
m:Soy
ournotpi
ssed 
Me:no.ButI
'dappr
eci
ateiti
fyour
efr
ained
f
rom cominghomeatthathour
 
hi
m:Ok
Me:
nowgoshower
.Weneedt
ogo

Si
yawentt
oshowerwhi
l
eiwentdownst
air
s.

Wheni gotdownst
air
sMaNdhl
ovuwasal
ready
eat
ing

Me:
Mor
ningMa 
Her
:Mor
ningMakot
i
Me:
cani
makey
ouanot
hercupoft
ea
Her
:Not
hanky
ouKot
i.
 
Me:
Didy
ousl
eepwel
l
Her:Ishoul
dbetheoneaski
ngy
outhat
.Ihear
d
Si
yabongacominginint
heweehour
softhe
morning 
Me:
I'
mfi
neMa
Her:
Ill
haveawordwithhi
m.Hecantcarr
yon
l
ikethi
s.Hi
sbehavi
ourist
otal
l
yunaccept
abl
e 
Me:Ithi
nkhe'
sjusthav
ingabi
tofat
ought
ine
wi
ththiswhol
eOlwethothi
ng 
Her:iunder
standt
hat.ButSiyabi
ngaisaman,
andheneedst ost
artbehavingli
keone.Weal
l
arehurtwit
hwhatLindadid.Butyoudon'
tdee
al
lofusbehav i
ngl
ikethat

Ideci
dedtoj
ustl
etMaNdhl
ovudealwi
thher
son.Asl
ongasiwasn'
ti
nvol
vedthenI
'
m happy
.
Siyacamedownandjoi
nedusf orbreakfast
.
Hismothergavehi
m amouthfullandahal f
aboutwhathedid,
andujustsatthereand
stuff
edmyface.

Afterbreakfast,weal
lwenttot
hehospital
.You
couldtellt
hatev er
yonewasabi tt
ensebecause
ourweknewt hati
fOlwet
howasn'tawake,t
hen
thedoct or
swoul dsuggestswi
tchi
ngoffthe
machines

Whenwear ri
vedatthehospi
tal
wewent
str
aightt
oOlwethosroom,andthankf
ull
ythe
Lordhadheardourprayer
s.

Olwethowasawake.Hewasn'tstr
ongasyet.I
n
facthewasratherweak,
butal
lthatmat
ter
ed
wast hatt
her
ewaspr ogr
ess.
Hi
sfaceimmediatel
yli
ght
enedupwhenhesaw
hi
sfather
.Hetr
iedspeaki
ngbuthi
sv oi
cewasa
bi
thoarsesowetoldhi
mt otakei
teasy.

Thedoctorswer
eal l
verypleasedwi
thhi
s
progr
essandadvisedthathewouldbe
di
schargedinaf
ewday s

MaNdhlovuandtheprophetl
eftt
ogot othe
houseandstr
engthenit
,whil
eSiyaandIstayed
wit
hOlwetho.

Atar
oundmi dday
,thedoct
orsaskedusto
l
eavesothatOlwethocoul
dgetsomesleep.

Welef
tjustashehadfal
l
enasleep.Si
yadi
dn'
t
wantt
ogot othehouseyet
,becauset
he
pr
ophetwasbusy
Me:
wecangoshoppi
ngi
nst
ead 
Hi
m:shoppi
ngf
or?
Me:
stuf
fforOl
wet
ho
Hi
m:ok

Wel
eftt
hehospi
tal
andwentt
othet
hemal
l
.

theonet hi
ngIknowaboutSiyai
sthathehates
shopping,sothefactt
hatiwasmakinghi
m
walkalloverwasobv i
ousl
yget
ti
ngtohim,but
atthesamet i
mei tsni
tli
kehehadmuchofa
choice

Iboughtasomeclot
hes,beddi
ngandot
her
essenti
alsf
orOl
wetho.Wewereaboutt
oleav
e
thestor
ewhenisawababybout i
que
Me:
baby
.Justonel
astpl
ace 
Hi
m:y
ousai
dthatanhourago
Me:
pleasej
ujumaan
Hi
m:mxm 
Wewaljedint
otheBout i
qeandijustf
ell
inl
ove.
Theyhadthecutestbabycl
othesever
.

Hi
m:isn'
tittooear
lyt
obebuyingbabycl
othes?
Wedon'tevenknowthesexy
et

Me:whydoy
ouhav
etobur
stmybubbl
emar
a
babe
Hi
m:i
wasj
ustaski
ng 
Me:
eveey
thi
ngi
ssocut
eher
e 
Hi
m:Mhmm

Ir
oll
edmyey
es,
andcont
inuedl
ooki
ngatal
lthe
t
hingst
hebout
iquehadt
oof
fer
.

Ideci
dedt
orat
herwai
tbef
orebuy
ingany
thi
ng.

Me:
comel
et'
sgo
Hi
m:i
thoughty
ouwer
ebuy
ingaonet
hing

Me:
il
lcomebackatanot
hert
ime 
Hi
m:ThankGod.

Wewal kedouttheboutiqueandiinst
antl
y
regret
tednotst
ayinglonger,
becausethelast
personiexpect
edt oseewast hi
sJessicabit
ch.
Nx a

Ispot
tedherbefor
eshespottedus.Icoul
dsee
shewaspregnantbecauseherst
omachhad
j
ustst
art
edshowi
ng.Il
ookedatSi
yaandhe
wasbusyonhi
sphone.

Forsomer easonal
ltheangerthati
has
suppressedthi
swholeti
mest art
edtor
ise.

Ther eal
i
tythatSiyahadmadet hi
sfuckingbi
tch
pregnantbl
ewmymi nd.Whatwashet hi
nki
ng.
Whydi dhelieaboutusingprot
ecti
on,andwhy
thehellwasi st
il
lhere.

Iwal
kedtothecarwit
habsol
uter
age.SIYAhad
putmylif
einsuchdanger
.Whati
fthatwit
ch
wassick.

Si
yacamer
unni
ngaf
terme,

Hi
m:andnow
Me:
cany
ouj
ustgetmehome 
hi
m:whatdi
didonow
ME:youFUCKEDt hatbi
tchandnowshei
s
hav
ingyourbaby
 
hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:
justgetmehome.Now

Si
yastar
tedt
hecarandwesati
nsi
l
enceal
lthe
wayhome.

Iwasj ustsoov erallofSi ya'

sdrama.Howam i
supposedt oenjoymypr egnancywhenhi s
whor ei salsopregnantwi t
hhischild.We
l
iterall
yj ustgotri
dofLi ndaandnowi had
anot herbabymamat odeal wit
h.whenwasal l
thisjustgoi ngtobeenough.Whydi di l
ovethis
manmor ethanmy self.Thosewer eall
quest i
onst hatonlyi couldanswerandy etihad
noi deawhatt otel
l my self
[
05/
14,
17:
28]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

140

Isatinsil
encemosti ft
hewayhome.Si y
aon
theotherhandwasl i
steningtomusicand
enjoyi
nghimself.Hehonest lyhadnoshame.
Herei waspissedof fbecauseofhim andhi
s
bull
,andhewasj ustchil
led,asthough
everyt
hingwereok.Mxm

Whil
edri
vingSi
yagotacal
landheanswer
ed
vi
aBluet
ooth

Hi
m:bul
l
et 
Hl
okes:
G
Hi
m:what
'sup
Hl
okes:
cany
oucomei
ntot
heof
fi
cet
oday
?
Hi
m:notr
eal
l
ywhat
sgoi
ngon
Hl
okes:
Fer
nandezwant
stocutadeal
Hi
m:Fuck 
Hl
okes;
mysent
iment
sexact
ly
Him:i
llbether
einanhour
.Makesur
enoone
seesortal
kstohimti
l
ligett
her
e 
Hl
okes:
shap

Si
yaendedt
hecal
lj
ustaswear
ri
vedhome.
.

Igreet
edMaNdhl ouandtheprophet
,thenwent
upstai
rs.Myfeetwereabitswoll
en,
soi want
ed
toputthem upforawhil
e.

Siyawalkedi
nandstart
edr ubbi
ngmyf eet
.I
knowi wasmadathim, buttheneedfora
footr
ubwasmor eneededatt hi
sstage
Him:ar
eyoureadyt
ohearmysideoft
hestor
y
ordoyouj
ustwanttokeepcut
ti
ngmeoff
Me:
mxm
Hi
m:Rifi
l
oe.Wepr omisedeachot
herthatwe
woul
ddeal wit
hprobl
emsinacivi
l
isedmanner.
Nooutburstsorsweari
ng
Me:t
hatwasbef
orei
knewJessi
cawas
pr
egnant
 
Hi
m: ok.Igett
hat.Butdidyouev
ert
hinkt
hat
maybeshe'snotpregnantwit
hmychil
d 
Me:
butLi
ndasai
d
Him:
i knowwhatshesai
d.ButIt
houghty
ou
andiwereonthesamepage. 
Me;
Si
Hi
m: nobaby
.Youar
ewr
ong.Howcoul
dyou
j
ustbel
iev
eher
Me:
Siy
aify
ouhadn'
tsl
eptwi
thJessi
cat
ost
art
wi
thwewoul
dn'
tbehav
ingt
hisconv
ersat
ion 
Hi
m: Ir
eali
set
hat
.Buti
tol
dyoui
used
pr
otect
ion 
Me:
so?Condomsbr
eakSi
ya 
Him:iwoul
dknowifi
tdi
dandIwould'
vemade
surei
gottest
edbef
orebei
ngwi
thyou
Me:Doyouseehowmuchdr amayoubri
ngi
nto
ourl
iv
esSiya.Ther
e'snotadayt
hatcangoby
wit
houtushavingdr
ama
hi
m:andi
m sor
ryaboutt
hatbaby
 
Me:butIst
il
ldon'
tunder
standwhyJessi
cai
sn'
t
l
ockedup

Hi
m:shemadeadeal
Me:
.andy
ouappr
ovedi
t 
Hi
m:y
es 
Me:
whywoul
dyoudot
hat
hi
m:Rifi
loeshegaveFernandezonasil
v er
pl
att
erinexchangeforherfr
eedom dur
ingher
pr
egnancy

Me:
I'
mlost
Him:Letmeputi tli
kethis.Wecaptured
Jessi
cabef or
eFernandezandaf t
erhoursof
Int
err
ogationshecutadeal whi
chwasshe
wouldtell
uswher eFernandezwashi di
ngin
exchangethatshewoul dhaveherpregnancy
outsi
deofpr i
son.
.thenonceShe'sgivenbi
rth
shewillst
arthersentence
Me: t
hatst
il
ldoesn'
tmeanshe'
snothav
ing
yourbaby
Hi
m: Imadehertakeat estanditprovedthati
t
wasn'tmi
ne.Notthatsheev erevensaidi
twas
mine.Li
ndajustj
umpedt oconclusions.
Me:
arey
ousur
eaboutt
his
Hi
m:y
es 
Me:
mhmm
Hi
m:I
'
m wai
ti
ng 
Me:
forwhat
Hi
m:anapol
ogy
Me:
ify
ouhadn'
ts
Him:I
'm goi
ngtocutyouof
fri
ghtther
e.We
madeapr omiseandy
oubrokeit
.Soiwantan
apol
ogy 
Me:
aski
eshe
Hi
m:apr
operone 
Me:
babymaan
Him:Dontbabyme.Youwer
ewr
ongandy
ou
knowit
 
me:
sor
rynunu
Hi
m: Ineedt
ogettot
heoff
ice.Wi
l
lyoubef
ine
onyourownforawhi
le 
Me:
yourmomsher
e 
Her
:she'
sgoi
ngt
othehospi
tal
me:
ithi
nki
l
lgowi
thher
Hi
m: noyouwont
.Youar
egoi
ngtorest
.You'
ve
pr
obablyt
ir
edmybabyoutwi
thy
ourmoods
Me: fi
ne.Gi
vehert het
oysiboughtfoeOl
wet
ho
I'
m surehe'
sbor edoutofhi
smind.Ohand
don'tfor
gett
ogi veherhi
ssnacks,andhi
s
spidermanblanketandPJ'
s

Si
yaj
ustsmi
l
edatme

Me:
what
 
Hi
m:t
hanky
ou
Me;
forwhat
 
Hi
m:f
iel
ovi
ngmysonuncondi
ti
onal
l
y 
Me:
youmeanourson
Hi
m;y
es
Me:He'
sapartofyouSi
ya,
andIl
ovey
ouso
howcanInotlov
ehim
Hi
m:cani
gety
ousomet
hingbef
orei
leav
e 
Me:
yes.Food
Him:Si
bongi
lehasjustf
ini
shedcooki
ng,
il
lask
hert
obringy
ourfoodup
Me:
thanksbabe
hi
m:i
l
lseey
oui
naf
ewhour
s
Me:
ok

Siyakissedmeont hecheekandst omacht hen

l
eft.Youhav enoideahowr eli
vediwast ofi
nd
ourthisbabywasn'this.Atleastnowwecoul d
concent r
ateonbuil
dingourf amily
.Itwasnow
j
ustme, Siy
aandour2chi l
dren.Ij
ustprayed
thatthiswasourli
ghtatt heendofav er
ylong
anddar k
[
05/
14,
17:
28]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
141

(sor
ryi
tsl
ate)

Siyal
eftforwork,whil
eIhaddinner
,and
event
uallyfel
lasl
eep.Mebeingpregnantandal
l
thedramaar oundus,wasmakingmet ir
edby
theday.Mindy ouI’
m notev
en4mont hsy et
andalreadyIfeelheav
y.

It
’sbeenabout3mont hsnowandt hingshave
beengoi ngsmoot hl
y.Olwethowasoutof
hospitalandisadjusti
ngtobei ngwi t
husona
fullt
imebasi s.Si
yawasn’tdoingtoobadl ywi
th
j
uggl i
ngbot hNdhlovuCorpandbei ng
Lieutenantoftheforce.Het r
avell
edal ot
betweenCTandJHB, butheal waysmadei ta
pointtosleepathome.Whi chIappr eciat
ed.
Wewer efi
nall
yjustl
iv
inganor malli
fewithno
Dramaorbabymama.Thel astIheardfr
om
Li
ndashehadsentmesomer andom sms
abouthowSiyawasgoi ngtoleavemebl ahblah
andthatnomat t
erhowhar dItri
edIwould
neverbeNaledi
.Ideci
dedt onotbotherSiya
aboutit
.Li
ndawasobv iousl
ycrazyandjust
wantedtoannoyme.

Iwasal r
eady6mont hspregnant,andluckil
ythe
mor ni
ngsicknesshadtotal
lysubsided.The
onlyprobl
em weremyswol l
enfeetandt hefact
thatIateli
keadam pig,whichmadeSi yahappy
, butmademeetf eelasfatasever.

Ihadstart
edexer ci
singagai
nonceIgottheal
l
cl
earfr
om t hedoctor.Ihadal
readygai
ned
10kg’
sandwant edtomakesur eIdi
dn’
tgai
n
anymor ethatIneeded
TodaywasFr i
dayandSi yaandIwereheading
tohismot herfort
heweekend.Wehadt ostart
planningt hewedding,Ihadmanaget o
convincehert oletushav etheweddi
ngafterI
gavebi rt
hbecauset herewasnowayIwas
goingt obeabl etofi
tintoaweddinggownwi t
h
mybi gst omachandmyhi pswhi
chlookedlike
mountEv erest
.

Ipackedourst
ufff
ortheweekend,
all
thatwas
missingnowwasforSiy
atoarri
ve,
sowecould
l
eave. 
Icamedownst
air
swi
thourluggageandmade
sandwi
chesmeandOl
wetho.

Si
yaar
ri
vedanhouraf
terhehadsai
dwewoul
d
bel
eavi
ng.
Him;Baby
,Sor
ryI
’
mlat
e.I
t’
sbeenoneoft
hose
days 
Me;
don’
twor
ryabouti
t

Hegav
emeaki
ssi
nthecheek

Hi
m;I
llr
unupandqui
ckl
ypack 
Me;I
’
veal
readypacked.Theguar
dsputt
hebag
i
nJeepal
ready
 
Hi
m;Ineed20mi
ns 
Me;
tdowhat
 
Him;Ol
wetho,
gotoyourr
oom andwatchsome
TV.Mommyanddaddywillcomefet
chyou
whenit
’st
imetogo

Olwethor
antohisr
oom andwewal
ked
upstai
rst
oours.
Me;
ok,
sowhat
’sup

Si
yacamefrom behi
ndandputhi
sarmsaround
me,andst
artedki
ssi
ngmyneck.Iknewt
hen
whathewanted

Me;
aren’
twegoi
ngt
obel
ate 
Hi
m;Ij
ustneed5mi
nut
es 
Me;
mhmmm 
Hi
m;ar
eyousur
e 
Hi
m;y
es.I
’
vemi
ssedmywi
fe

IturnedaroundandSiyastar
tedki
ssingme
withahungerthatmademyst omachknot
togetherl
ikeaspideri
nitsweb.Si
yaandI
hadn’tbeenint
imateforaboutaweeknow.He
wasbackandf or
thbetweenJHBandusually
gothomewayafterIhadf
all
enasleep.Iwant
ed
hi
m nowjustasmuchashewant edme.

Ididn’
tgettoev entakeof fmydress.Wewere
bothtooimpat i
ent.Weendedupmaki ng
i
ntense,fastandpassi onatel
ove,and
eventual
lyfall
i
ngof fthefaceoftheeart
hwit
ha
cl
imaxt hatrockedthroughorbodies.

Whenwebothcametooursenseswewer
e
l
yi
nginbedt
ryi
ngtocat
chourbreat
h.

Hi
m;weshoul
dgetgoi
ng 
Me;
giv
emesec 
Hi
m;GodImi
ssedy
ou 
Me;
it’
sonl
ybeenaweek 
Hi
m;wor
stweekofmyl
i
fe 
Me;
(chuckl
es)
 
Hi
m;l
aughally
ouwant
,butt
hisweekendy
ou
ar
eal
lmine 
Me;
whatdoy
oumean?
 
Him;asi
nIneedt
ogetmyf
il
lofy
oubef
oreIgo
backtowor
k
Me;Siy
a,shameonyou.Wearegoingtoyour
mother’
shouse.Wearemostcer
tai
nlynot
goi
ngtobedoingthi
sthi
sweekend
Hi
m;andwhyt
hehel
lnot
 
Me;
whati
fyourmot
herhear
sus 
Hi
m; whocar
es.I
t’
snotl
i
keshet
hinkswe’
re
vi
rgi
ns 
Me;papa.Thisi
snotupf ordi
scussi
on.Ir
efuse
toembarrassmysel
f.Justimagi
neyourmother
hear
ingmemoanandgr oan
Hi
m; (
chuckles)we’
l
lseeaboutt
hat
.Fornow
l
et’
sgetgoing
Wegotupandcl
eanedour
sel
vesup,
then
headedf
ort
heai
rpor
t.

Whenwear ri
vedi nDur
ban,weheadedstraight
toSiya’
schil
dhoodhome.Iini
ti
all
ythought
Siya’
smom woul dli
veinanormalhouseint he
cit
y.butboyohboywasIwr ong.Shehada
hugedoublestoryint
hemiddleOftownship.It
wasv er
ymoder nandveryhomelyatthesame
ti
me 
Siy
a’smotherwascookingwhenwear r
ived.
Shehadmadeal l
ofSiya’sf
avour
it
es.Tri
pe
beingatt
hetopoftheli
st.

TobehonestIwasn’
texactl
yfeel
ingt
hetri
pe,
butIdi
dmybesttoeat.Evenifi
twasjusta
l
it
tl
e.

Ol
wet
hoont
heot
herhandr
efusedt
ohav
eany
ofthef
ood.I
nst
eadSi
ya’
smot
hermadehi
ma
hotdog

Her
;soMakot
i,t
ell
mehowy
ouar
ehol
dingup 
Me;I’
m okma.Justswol
l
en,
butot
hert
hant
hat
I
’m good 
Her
;andhasSi
yabeent
reat
ingy
ouwel
l
,

Il
ookedatSi
yaandsmi
l
ed

Me;
yesMa.He’
sbeent
aki
ngcar
eofal
lofus 
Her;I
’
m gladt
oheart
hat
.sotell
mehav eyou
deci
dedonwhatki
ndofweddingyou’
regoi
ng
tohave 
Me;
justat
radi
ti
onal
weddi
ngMa 
Her;
That
’sgood.Iwasworr
iedyouwoul
dwant
oneoft
hoseweddingsatavenue 
Me;nah.Ij
ustwoul
dli
keasmal
li
nti
mat
e
t
radi
ti
onalweddi
ng
Her
;int
imat
e 
Me;
yes
Her;
makoti
.Youar emarr
ingint
oav er
yav er
y
l
argefami
ly.Si
yabongai
sdescendantfrom t
he
r
oyalfami
l
y.Inti
mateisnotourthi
ng 
Me;
Idi
dn’
tknowt
hat
 
Hi
m;Idon’
tthi
nki
tsi
mpor
tant
 
Her;whynot?Yourfatherwould’vebeenmade
King,i
fhehadn’
tdied.Sot hefactthatyour
unclei
sking,makesyouj ustasimpor t
ant

IlookedatSiyaandwonderedwhyInev erknew
thatabouthim.Iknewhewast iesIjustdidn’t
knowhowcl ose.Iwant
edtoaskmor e
questions,
butIcouldseethatSiy
awasr ather
uncomf ort
able,soIj
ustl
etitgoforpeacesake 
Me;Ma.Idon’
tmi
ndabigweddi
ng.I
fthat
’s
whatneedst
obedone,
thensobei
t 
Her
;thanky
ou

Siya’
smotherwasov ert
hemoon.Shelef
tusat
thetabl
eandwettocal l
hersi
ster
sand
brother
stol
etthem knowthatwehadseta
date.

Il
ookedatSi
yaandhel
ookedabi
ttense

Me;
arey
ouok 
Hi
m;weagr
eedonasmal
lweddi
ng 
Me;butSi
yawhatwasIsupposedt
odo?You
hear
dyourmother
 
Hi
m;sui
tyour
sel
f
Si
ya’
smot
hercamebackt
ojoi
nus

Her
;Youraunt
sandunclesarecomingov
er
t
omorrowtodiscusst
heplansfort
heweddi
ng 
Me;
Oh 
Siy
a;Ma.Icameher
etorel
ax,
thelastt
hingI
needi
somal umedr
ivi
ngmecrazy
 
Her;Siyabonga,
thi
sweddingisgoi
ngt oneed
ever
y oneonboard.Youruncl
esneedtobeher e
soweknowt hatwearedoingther
ightthi
ng 
Hi
m;l
ordhel
pus 
Me;
Siy
a 
Her;
andmakesur
ey oubehav
e.Dumi
sani
is
al
sogoi
ngtobehere 
Her
;hawMa, YouknowhowIfeel
about
Dumisani
.Whywouldyouhav
ehim comeher
e 
Her
;He’
syourbr
otherSi
yabonga
Il
ookedatSiyainwonder .I
tlookedli
ketoni
ght
wasthenighttodiscoveral
lthesethi
ngsabout
myhusbandt hatIdidn’
tknow.Hegav eme
warni
nglook,andIdecidedtoshutmymout h 
Hi
m;Hal
fbr
other
 
Her
;facti
syourFather
sbl
oodrunsthr
oughhi
m,
j
ustasmuchasi tr
unsthr
oughyou 
Hi
m;Weshoul
dgett
obed,
I’
m sur
eYourt
ir
ed

Siy
alookedatmeast
houghhewasaski
ng,
but
deepdownIknewhewastel
l
ingme

Me;Letmehel
pMawi
tht
hedi
shesf
ir
stt
henI
’
ll
cometobed
Hi
m;Phumzi
l
ewi
l
ldoi
t 
Me;
who’
sPhumzi
l
e 
Hi
m;wi
l
lyouj
ustcomef
orgoodnesssakes
Il
ookedatSiy
a’smot
herandshewi
nkedatme.
It
ookSiya’
shandandof
ftobedIwent
. 
Webot hundressedinsi
l
ence.Iwantedtoask
Siyaaboutal
lthethi
ngsIheardatDinner
,but
thelookinhi
sey eswasrat
herchil
l
ing

Hi
m;don’
t 
Me;
Idi
dn’
tsayany
thi
ng 
Hi
m;Iknowt
hatl
ook
Me;
Ijustdon’
tgetwhyy
oudi
dn’
ttel
lme 
Him;cany
ouj
ustgeti
ntobed.I
tsbeenal
ong
day 
Me;
ok

Igoti
ntobedandcuddledwitht
hemoodyhunk
ofamanbesidesme.Ismi l
edasIthought
abouthowfarwe’
vecome, andyett
herewas
sti
l
lsomucht odi
scover.Si
yawasthekindof
manwhowasacl osedbook.Theonl ywayto
knowmor ewastookeept urni
ngthepage.Ij
ust
l
ookedf orwar
dt ospendi
ngt herestofmyli
fe
discov
eringal
lthecrazythingsabouthim.
[
05/
15,
10:
06]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

142

Unfor
tunat
elyformeSi y
at ossedandt
urned
mostofthenight.Whichannoy edt
hehel
loutof
me.Ifhewasn’tmoving,thebabywasdoing
backf
li
ps.

Me; Si
yawi
l
lyouj
ustkeepst
il
lforgoodness
sakes 
Hi
m;Wel
lyouwon’
tletmet
ouchy
ou 
Me; Si
ya,
Iti
shot,Iam cr
ankyandy
ourbaby
keepsmov i
ng.Don’
teventhi
nkoft
ouchi
ngme 
Him;youf
orgott
oaddcr
ankyt
othatl
i
stof
your
s 
Me;
wemi
ghtaswel
lgetup.
 
Hi
m;I
ts5am 
Me;
Wel
l
,Ineedt
ogetbr
eakf
astgoi
ng 
Hi
m;y
ouneedt
osl
eepi
n 
Me;Nocando.Idon’
twanty
ourmot
her
t
hinki
ngI
’mlazy
 
Hi
m;shehasahousekeeper
 
Me;
butst
il
l 
Hi
m;Fi
ne.Sui
tyour
sel
f

Itookashower,
andwenttostar
tbr
eakf
ast
.
WhenIgottotheki
tchenIf
oundSiy
a’smom
andPhumzil
ecooki
ngupast orm

Me;
Mor
ning 
Her
;Mor
ningMakot
i 
Me;
Icamet
ohel
p 
Her;y
ouneedt
ogetbackt
obed.We’
l
lhandl
e
ever
ythi
ng 
Me;
MeI
’
m al
readyup.Imi
ghtaswel
lhel
p 
Her;
Ok

It
ookanapr
onandst
art
edhel
pingout
.It
l
ookedtomeli
kewewer
ecooki
ngforanent
ir
e
vi
l
lage.

Bytheti
meIputmyfeetui
twasaftermi
dday
andSiy
a’sf
amil
ywasabouttoar
ri
ve

Hi
m;CanIt
alkt
oyou 
Me;
you’
regoi
ngt
ohav
etopi
ckmeup 
Hi
m;y
out
hatcomf
ort
abl
e?
Me;
yes
Hi
m;f
ine.

Siy
apickedmepandwal kedmet oourr
oom.I
couldt
ellhewasanxi
ous,butIdi
dn’
twantt
o
sayanythi
ng

Hi
m;I
’
m notexact
lycomf
ort
abl
ewi
tht
his 
Me;
wit
hwhat
 
Hi
m;y
oucomi
ngi
ntocont
actwi
thmyf
ami
l
y 
Me;
Siy
asi
tdown 
Hi
m;I
’
m good

Si
yakeptpaci
ngther
oom andqui
tef
rankl
yhe
wasmakingdizzy

Me;
babySi
t 
Hi
m;Youdon’
tgeti
t 
Me;
whatdon’
tIget
 
Hi
m;Idon’
tli
keDumi
sani
 
Me;
Why
 
Hi
m;i
t’
sal
ongst
ory
 
Me;
sowhatwoul
dyoul
i
kemet
odo 
Hi
m; Ineedy
out
ost
ayawayf
rom hi
m andhi
s
wi
ves 
Me;
wiv
es 
Hi
m;y
es,
he’
sgot2 
Me;
damn 
Hi
m;any
way
.Idon’twantyoubei
ngfriendswi
th
t
hem.Wewi
llhav
enopar ti
nthei
rli
ves 
Me;
ohkay
 
Hi
m;I
’
m ser
ious 
Me;
Siya.Ihearyou,butbabe,Idon’tev
enknow
t
hehist
orybehindyounotliki
ngy ourbrot
her
.
Hel
lIdi
dn’
tev
enknowy
ouhadabr
other
 
Hi
m;I
tsnotsomet
hingIl
i
ket
otal
kabout
 
Me;
why
 
Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;we’
redonet
alki
ngaboutt
his 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;BabyMaan.Pl
easej
ustdoasIask 
Me;
Fine 
Hi
m;Thanky
ouf
ornotar
gui
ngwi
thme 
Me; hopeful
lywithti
mey ouwill
trustme
enought otell
meev eryt
hingaboutyouthatI
needt oknow.If eell
ikeI’
m marriedto3
di
fferentpeople.Siy
a, Ghostandsomer oyal
nutj
ob 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)wi
tht
imebaby
 
Me;
we’
l
lsee
Ideci
dedtolett
hist
hingaboutSiyago.IfSi
ya
wantedtodi
scusshi
sf amil
ywi t
hmet henhe
wouldwhenhewasgoodandr eady.FornowI
wasgoingtodoastold,andjustbecivi
l
.

Whenwewentbackdownst airsalotofSi
ya’
s
famil
yhadstar
tedar
riv
ing.Therewereabout20
peopl
eherealr
eady.
 
Iwasint
roducedtoaunti
es,cousi
nsanduncl
es.
Honestl
ymyheadwasspi nningwit
hever
yone’
s
names.Icoul
dn’treal
l
yrememberthei
rnames,
butIj
ustsmiledandpret
ended
Thediscussionsabouttheweddi ngwer erather
bori
ng,Ijustnoddedandagreedt owhatever
theywanted.TobehonestIdi dn’tcaremuch
abouttheweddi ng.Si
yaandIwer ealr
eady
marri
ed,andt hat’
sallt
hatIwant ed.Soright
nowallthatmat ter
sisthatt
hef amili
esar e
happy 
Ast hel adi
es,werebusytal
kingandtaki
ng
notes, andagreei
ngonf act
s,IsawSiyaand
comi ngt owardsuswith2men.Iknewr ight
thent hatitwashisbrot
herandt hechi
ef

Every
onebowedt heirheadwhent
heysaw
them.Ideci
dedtov acatemeseat
,andsaton
oneofthegrassmat sonthefl
oor
. 
Tobehonest ,Ihadnever,everbeenint
he
presenceofroyalt
y,soI’
m notexactl
ysurehow
tobehave,soIwasj ustgoingtositmyass
downandbehav e

Siy
asatcl
osetomeonthecouch,andt
heot
her
gentl
emansatont
hechai
ropposi
teus.
 
Il
ookedatSi
yaandher
oll
edhi
sey
es

Si
ya;Mal
ume.Thisi
sRif
il
oe.Ri
fi
loet
hisi
s
MalumeBheki
zi
zwe. 
Hi
m;Iseewhyy
oudon’
tcomehomeany
mor
e. 
Siy
a;AsIsai
dMal
ume..Thi
ngshav
ebeen
hecti
c 
Hi
m;soIheary
ou’
vesetadat
e 
Si
ya;
yes
Hi
m;i
nthatcasewe’
vegotal
ott
odo 
Si
ya;
Iguess 
Hi
m;arey
ounotgoi
ngt
oint
roducey
ourbr
other
t
oyourwi
fe 
Si
ya;(
Sigh)BhutDumisani
.ThisisRi
fi
loe.
Ri
fi
loethi
sismybrot
herDumi sani

Il
ookedupandsawthisdar
kski
nnedchocol
ate
fi
nenessst
andi
ngi
nfrontofme.
 
Heactual
lylookedalotli
keSiya,exceptf
orhi
s
ski
ncolour.Hehadacl eanlookgoingandyou
coul
dtellheworkedout.IswearifIwasn’t
marri
edtoSiya,Iwouldprobablybewifeno3.
Thi
smanwasgor
geous

Hi
m;heeBafo.Howdi
dsomeonelikey
ougr
ab
t
heat
tent
ionofsuchabeaut
if
ulwomen.

Ismi
ledabi
t,butt
heni
mmediat
elyl
ooked
downwhenIsawSiyal
ooki
ngatme.

Si
ya;
Dumi
sani
.Behav
e 
Him;I’
mj ustsayi
ng.Li
keyouhav ethedr
iest
senseofhumour .Ihav
enoi deawhatshesees
i
ny ou,butthenagainyou’
vealwayshadat hi
ng
forSot
hogi rl
s

OKHAY.Thi
swasawkwar d.Andqui
tefr
anklyI
wasn’
timpr
essed.Iwassousedtomebei ng
t
heonlyonewhocouldsayshitt
oSiy
a,that
whensomeoneelsedoesitki
ndofmakesme
mad

Si
ya;
sowhathasbeenset
tl
ed?

Siya’smom wenttoever
ythi
ngwe’vegone
throughwitht
heChiefandSiya’
sbrot
hertoget
theirfi
nal
approval
.Af
terabout2mor ehour
sof
fi
nalisi
ngthi
ngs.Weweref i
nall
yabl
etohave
l
unch.  
Dumisanihonest
lylookedl
ikeaniceguy .He
wasobv i
ousl
ythecompl et
eoppositeofSiya
wit
hregardstobeingsoserious.Dumisaniwas
t
heclownoft hefamily

HesatnexttoSi ya, andyoucouldtell

Siy
a
wasn’texact
lyecst ati
c.Icouldt
ell
thatSiya
honestlyi
sn’
tlikehisbr ot
heronebit.Hehardl
y
repl
iedtoanythinghesai d,andhecompletely
dismissedhi
swi v
es.  
Iknowitwasn’tri
ghtformet ogetinvol
vedin
famil
yissues,butt
hiswasnoton.I fI
’
m going
tobeapar tofthi
sfamily
,thenthi
ngswould
needtochange.Siyawouldneedt ochangehis
att
it
ude.

Howdoeshehonest lyexpectmet onotbe

closetohisbr
otherswi ves,whentheyweret
he
oneswhower eallocatedt oshowmehow
thingsar
edonei nhisfami l
y.It
sti
meheopened
upsomemor eaboutt his,
andifanythi
ng,
Iwas
goingtogettothebot tom thi
s.
[
05/
15,
10:
06]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

143

Thi
smeetingt
ookforever.Si
ya’
sunclewas
i
nsi
sti
ngthatt
hechieft
aincypayfort
he
weddi
ng,
butSiyawasn’thavi
ngit.Hewant
edt
o
payf ortheweddinghi
mself.IwishIcouldtel
l
bothoft hem t
ojustshutupbutobv i
ousl
yI
couldn’tdothat
.SoIjustsatthereandli
stened
tothem goingbackandf or
th..
.

Luckil
ySiya’
smot her
,askedmet ohel
pher
servedesser
t.Igotupimmediatel
yand
appreci
atedthebloodfl
owt hr
oughmyl egs.

Weser veddesser t
,andthenIdeci
dedtogoand
takeawal kinthegarden.Iwashonestlyti
red
from goingoverweddingplans,Ij
ustneeded
somef reshair
, andhopeful
l
ynoonewoul d
noti
cet hatIsl
ippedout.

ThemomentIst eppedoutonthegrass,my
babystar
tedmov i
ng.Ismil
edknockingshewas
probabl
yasti
redasIwas. 
Si
ya’
smot
her
’sgar
denwasbasol
utl
eybr
eat
h-
taki
ng.Shehadf l
ower s,
her bsandev ena
vegetabl egarden.Idon’ tknowwhybuti nthat
momentIr eal
lymi ssedmymot her.Al l
thistalk
aboutt heweddi ngj ustmademewi sht hatmy
dadandshewer est illar
ound.Iknowshe
would’ v
ebeenv er ychuf fedt ohearaboutSi ya
comi ngf rom ar oyal family.Notthati tmadea
diff
erencet ome.Tomehewasst il
l thecrazy
mant hatIfelli
nl ov ewi t
hov erayearago.Who
knewaf tereverythingt hatwewoul dbehav i
nga
weddi ngandexpect ingababy ?Itl
ooksl ook
thatvisionIhadofmymot herwasr ight.Inthe
endweconcur red.

Isatononeoft hebenchesandsoakedupt he
sun.Itf
eltgoodtojustst
epawayf orabit
.Plus
ther
ewasani cef
reshbreezeouthere.I
could’
vestayedouthereforev
er 
Ihavenoi
deawhereBhuti
Dumisani
camefrom,
butwhenIopenedmyeyeshewassit
ti
ngnext
t
ohi
m.IswearInear
lyj
umpedoutmychai
r

Hi
m;I
’
m sor
ry.Idi
dn’
tmeant
ost
art
ley
ou 
Me;
Itsf
ine.Ij
ustdi
dn’
theary
ou
Hi
m;howar
eyou 
Me;
I’
m good 
Hi
m;sohowl
onghav
eyouknownmybr
other

Il
ookedar
oundtoseeifIcoul
dseeSi
ya,
buthe
wasnowherei
nsight
 
Me;
foraboutnear
ly2y
ear
s.
Hi
m;andy
ou’
vemanagedt
ost
ay 
Me;
Iguess 
Hi
m; y
oumustbev eryspecial
tohi
m.Inever
t
houghthewouldbri
ngany onehomeaf
terhi
s
l
astgi
rl
.Letal
onegetmar r
ied.
Ihonestl
yhadnoideawhattosay.Al
lIwant
ed
wastogetbackinsi
de,becauseIj
ustknewt
hat
i
fSiyafoundeherehewouldgoBalli
sti
c.

Me;
Ishoul
dgetbacki
nsi
de 
Hi
m;Wow,
didIscar
eyouof
fthatqui
ckl
y 
Me;nonotal
l
.Ij
ustneedt
oahhmm got
akemy
meds 
Hi
m;Iknowmybr
othert
oldy
out
ost
ayaway
f
rom me

Iwassot emptedtot al
ktohim andhearwhat
hehadt osay
.ButIdeci dedtorathernot
.Si
ya
hadgivenmest r
ictinst
ructi
ons,andther
ewas
nowayIwasgoi ngt ogetonhisbadbooksj ust
becauseofhisbrother

Me;
notatal
l
.Ij
ustneedt
omakesur
eIt
akemy
pi
l
lsont
ime 
Hi
m;Isee 
Me;
excuseme.

Istoodupandwal kedaway .Icouldf

eel
Dumi sani
’
seyespiercingt
hroughme, butI
didn’
tlookback.Therewasj ustsomethi
ng
abouthim.

WhenIgotbackinsideSi
yawassayi
ng
goodbyetotheChief
.Iwant
edtotur
naround,
butthenSi
yacall
edme

Iwentuptohi
m andhehel
dmyhand.Thelook
i
nhiseyetol
dmehewasn’thappy
.Il
ookedat
hi
mt henatt
hechief

Me;
isev
ery
thi
ngOK 
Si
ya;Yes.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sfi
ne.Myuncl
ewasj
ust
l
eavi
ng 
Me;
Oh.Thanky
ou.Forev
ery
thi
ng 
Hi
m; I
t’
sapl
easur
eMakot
i.Il
ookf
orwar
dtot
he
weddi
ng

Siyawalkedhi
suncl
eandsomeoftheot her
famil
ymember sout
,whi
l
eIstayedinthehouse
clear
ingupwit
honeofDumisani
’swiv
es.

Her;
Idon’
twewer
eint
roducedpr
oper
ly.My
nameisTenj
i
we
Me;I’
m sor
ry.Thi
ngsj
ustwentbysof
ast
.I’
m
Ri
fi
loe.
 
Her
;It
sveryexci
ti
ngt
ohav
eanot
herMakot
ijoi
n
t
hefamil
y 
Me;i
tsr
athernerv
ewr
ecki
ng.Idi
ntr
eal
i
sewhat
abi
gFamilySiy
acomesfr
om 
Her
;canIgi
vey
ouapi
eceofadv
ice
Me;
sur
e 
Her;
ratherrefert
ohi m asBabNdhl
ovu.The
el
dersareratherstr
ictwhenitcomestothat
 
Me;
ohThaky
ou 
Her
;it
swhyI
’
m her
e 
<e;
sohowl
onghav
eyoubeenmar
ri
ed 
Her
;about5year
s.I
’mthesecondwi
fe.
Nomalangai
sthefi
rst
 
Me;
ohok 
Her;soareyoucomfor
tabl
ewi
thknowi
ngthat
yourhusbandcomesfr
om apol
ygamousf
amily?

Ireal
l
ydi dn’
tknowhowt orespond.I
fIsai
dno
shemi ghtbeoffendedandifIsai
dyesIwoul
d
belyi
ng
Me;
Itsal
lver
ynewt
ome
Her;
wel
l,
youmightaswellgetusedtoi
t.I
’
m
sur
ehe’
l
lwantt
ot akeasecondwifeaswell

Il
ookedatTenj
i
weandwonder
edwhatshewas
tr
yingt
osay.

Me;
wel
lwhoknows

Iwasgratef
ul whenIsawSiyawalki n.He
l
ookedatmeandj ustshookhishead.I
honest
lydon’tknowwhatheexpect edmet odo.
Icoul
dn’tj
ustnothelpoutorignor
eher . 
Her
;Bhut
i 
Hi
m;Tenj
i
we 
Her
;It
’sbeenawhi
l
e 
Hi
m;y
ah 
Her
;it
sgoodt
oseey
ou’
vemov
edonf
rom 
Hi
m;(
clear
sthr
oat
)

Il
ookedatSiyaandatTenji
we,andIknewhe
wastryi
ngtostopherfr
om sayi
ngmuchmor e.I
hadafeeli
ngTenji
wewast al
ki
ngaboutLinda,
soIwasgladthatSiy
astoppedher.Ther
ewas
not
hingIhatedmorethanheari
ngLindasname

Hi
m:Babe.Doy
ouhav
eami
nut
e 
Me:
letmef
ini
shof
f.I
'
llbeupi
nmi
nut
e
Hi
m:nowRi
fi
loe

Il
ookedupatSiy
aandsawt
hathewasnott
o
bearguedwi
th

Iputdownthedi
shcl
othandwentupst
air
swi
th
Siy
abehindme.
Hi
m: Rif
il
oeDoneverunder
minemel
i
key
oudo
i
nfrontoftenj
i
weagain 
Me:
howdi
diunder
miney
ou 
Him:whatdidisayaboutspeaki
ngwithmy
brot
herandnhi
swives?Whyt hehel
lwereyouin
thegar
denwi t
hhim.Whycan'tyoujustdoas
tol
d.

Me:Siy
a,Iwentoutt
ogetsomeai r
.Idi
dntev
en
not
iceyourbr
othert
il
lhesatdown 
Him:
y oudon'
tli
stendoyou?Sojustl
istent
oke
andl
istentomecareful
l
y.Stayawayfrom
Dumisanianhi
swi v
es.Areweclear
 
Me:
cry
stal
 
Hi
m:good

Si
yal
eftandsl
ammedt
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m.I
honestl
ydon'tunderst
andwhatwasgoingonin
hi
shead.It'
snotlikeIwentoutl
ooki
ngfor
Dumisani,
andi coyexact
lyi
gnoreTenj
i
we
whenshespoket omee.Sowhatexactlyam i
supposedtodo.

Siy
aleftandwenttohi
suncl
e'
s,whil
eICarri
ed
oncleani
ngup.WhenweweredoneDumi sani
andhiswivesl
eft
,andsodi
dtherestoft
he
famil
y.

Somethi
ngThenji
wesaiddidn'
tsi
twellwi
thme
andineededotal
ktoSiyaabouti
t.SoIWaitt
il
l
wewerefinal
l
yinbed.Hopeful
l
ySiyawouldn'
t
bi
temyheadof f

Me:
baby
 
Hi
m:hmmmm 
Me:
CanIasky
ousomet
hing?
Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;
Doy
ouev
erpl
anont
aki
ngasecondwi
fe 
hi
m:why
 
me;
it'
sjustsomet
hingThenj
i
wesai
d 
Hi
m:Youseewhyi
tol
dyout
ost
ayawayf
rom
t
hem 
me:
justanswer
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe.Istruggl
etokeepyouhappy.How
t
hehel
lwillikeepanotherwor
m happy 
me:
whyar
eyousogr
umpy
 
Hi
m:j
ustsl
eepr
if
il
oe 
Me:
mxm

Imovedclosert
omygr umpyteddysohecoul
d
cuddl
eme, andwedozedofftosleep.
Hopeful
l
yhewoul dwakeupinamuchbetter
mood
[
05/
15,
10:
07]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

144

(supercrop)Sor
ryguy
s,I
'
m soov
erl
oadedwi
th
work 
: (

Iwokeupt hefoll
owingmor ningwit
hSiya
wrappedaroundme.Iwant edtotel
lhimto
mov ebutIwasenjoy i
ngbeingcuddled,despi
te
meenjoyingmy sel
f,Ireal
l
yneededt opee. 
Itr
iedget
ti
ngoutofSi
ya’
sar
msbuthehel
don
ti
ghter

Me;
Siy
aMhmmm 
Hi
m;uy
aphi
 
Me;
Ineedt
opee 
Him;
doesi
thav
etobel
i
ker
ightnow?I
’
m so
comf
ort
abl
e 
Me;Siya,
mybladderi
sabouttobur
st,because
yourbabyispr
essi
ngonit
.Pleasej
ustmov e 
Hi
m;t
ryhol
dingi
tforl
onger
 
Me;
(chuckl
es)

IknewtheonlywayformetogetSiyatol
etgo
wasformet oti
ckl
ethehell
outofhim.SoIdi
d
j
ustthatandherol
ledoveri
nlaught
erandI
tookmychancetoescape

Af
terbathi
ng,Iwentdownst
air
stohel
pwi
th
makingbreakf
ast
.

Westayedathi
shomeforafewmorehours
andl
efttogobackt
oCT.Siy
awasratherqui
te
onthewaybackhome.Iwantedtoaskhim so
manyquest
ions,
butIj
ustdecidedt
olethi
m be.
Hopeful
l
yhewouldopenuponhi sown.

Oncewear ri
vedinCTSiyawentstraighttohis
off
ice,
whi l
eIputOl
wethot obed.Hehadsl ept
al
lthewayont hefl
ight
,andhewasst i
llf
ast
asl
eep,thenIwenttoourroom totakeamuch
neededshower.

WhenIcameoutt
heshower,
Siy
awassi
tt
ing
ont
hebedwit
hhisphonei
nhishand

Me;
donecat
chi
ngupwi
thwor
kal
ready
?
Hi
m; t
here’
smuchmorei
mpor
tantt
hingsIneed
t
odiscusswit
hyou 
Me;
letmegetdr
essedf
ir
st 
Hi
m;t
her
e’snot
ime 
Me;
Siy
a,what
’swr
ong 
Hi
m;si
tdown

Iwrappedmytowel
aroundmy
sel
fti
ght
erand
satnextt
ohi
m

Hi
m;Iknowy ouwerewonder i
ngaboutmy
moodthisweekend,soIthoughti
t’
sonl
yfai
r
f
ormet otel
lyouthetrut
h 
Me;
ok 
Him;af
termydaddied.Iwassupposedtobe
takeov
erthechi
eft
aincy,
butIwastooyoung,
somyuncletookover 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;sowhenIt
urned21,
Iwassupposedt
o
t
akeov
er,
butIr
antothefor
cei
nstead
Me;
Oh 
Hi
m;so,
myuncl
edeci
dedIneededawi
fe 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;sot
heyar
rangedabr
idef
orme
Me;
mhmm
Hi
m;butImetLi
ndaandwest ar
tedal
i
fe
t
oget
her,
whichobv
iousl
yended 
Me;
alr
ight
 
Hi
m;y
ah

Wesati
nsil
encef
orawhi
le.Iwantedt
oask
Si
yamore,
butIwant
edhi
mt otel
lme

Hi
m; nowthechi
efcounci
l
shavedeci
dedIneed
t
otakeover.Myuncl
ewantst
ostepdown 
Me;
OH
Hi
m;Idecl
i
nedt
hepost
 
Me;
yaah 
Hi
m;But
,If
eel
thatI
’
mlet
ti
ngmyf
atherdown.
Thi
swashi
sdr
eam
Me;
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo 
Hi
m;not
hing 
Me;
oh 
Him;
Ithi
nki
tsbestt
hatt
hingsar
east
heyar
e
now 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m; soy
ouseewhyI
’
vebeensoof
f?I
t’
sjust
al
lbeent
oomuch 
Me;
Itsf
ine
Hi
m;comeher
e 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;gi
mmeaki
ss

Il
eanedIandgavehim al
it
tl
epeckont he
cheek,
andahug.IknewthateventhoughSiya
hadtol
dmewhatwasbot heri
nghim.Icould
sti
ll
tel
lthatt
herewasmoretothestory
.ButI
wantsgoingtopush.I
fheneededt
ot al
k,he
knewwher ehewouldfi
ndme.
[
05/
15,
10:
08]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

145

IletSiy
abe, andgotI
ntobed.Shoul
dhedecide
todiscussthewholechief
tencyi
ssueheknows
wher etofi
ndme.

Si
yawenttohi
sof
fice,
whi
l
eIgotmy
sel
fsome
muchneededr
est
.

WhenIwokeupt hefoll
owingmorningSi
yaand
Olwethohadal
readylef
t.Il
ookedatthet
ime
anditwasaft
er9am.Igotoutofbedandwent
tofr
eshenup.Idi
dn'tpl
anongoinganywhere
soIstucktooneofSi
yasshi
rt
s,t
henwent
downstai
rstohavebr
eakf
ast
.

TobehonestIwasqui tedownr egardingmy

rel
ati
onshipwithSi ya.Imi ssedhimt othemoon
andback, andbyhi m someantt heSi yaI
thoughtIknew.Ij ustcouldn'tunderstandwhy
hewasbei ngsodi st
antandsecr eti
ve.Ithought
wewer eatast agewher eIknewal lIneededto
knowabouthi m, andy etthispassedweekend
j
ustprovedt omehowwr ongi actuall
yam.

Siy
aandIwerealotofthi
ngs,butsol
idwasn'
t
exact
lyoneoft
hem.West i
llhadalongwayto
gobeforewecoul
dbelabeledassoli
d.

Aft
erbreakfastIwentbackupst
air
s.Iwant
edto
tal
ktoSiyaaboutmydoct or
sappoint
mentthi
s
aft
ernoon.Hopeful
lyIcoul
dgethimtojoi
nme
forlunchaft
erappointment
.Ithadbeenawhile
sincewewentoutj ustthet
woofus.Idiall
ed
him, andcr
ossedmyf inger
sinhopethathe
woul danswer.

Af
terabout5r
ingshepi
ckedup

Hi
m:Nana
Me;
Hey
 
Hi
m:y
ousounddown,
what
'
sup 
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou 
Hi
m: hawbaby
.Ispentt
heweekendwi
thy
ou
nj
e 
Me:
yes,butweweresurr
oundedbyf
ami
l
y.
Whi
chisgreat
,buti
justmissu
Hi
m:sowhatdoy
ousuggest
Me:Iwashopingwecoul
ddolunch,
aft
erour
doct
orsappoi
ntmentHi
m:(si
l
ence)
Me:
pleaset
ell
mey
oudi
dn'
tfor
get
Hi
m:ei
shbaby
,it
's 
Me:
nev
ermi
nd 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
ima.I
t'
sjustbeenabi
thect
ic.
Me:
yahh.Ok.Shar
p 
Hi
m;babydon'
tbemadatMe
Me:
Siy
aIj
ust
 
Him:baby
,sor
rytocuty
ouof
f.Myf
li
ghti
s
aboutt
otakeoff
 
Me;
fli
ght
?Towher
e 
Hi
m;I
'
llcal
lyouwhenIl
and
Me:
Si

Iwantedtoaskhim wherehewasbuthehad
alr
eadyputdown.IknowIsaidIwoul
dtrynot
tooverr
eactbutri
ghtnowmybloodwasboili
ng.
Siyawasstart
ingtoannoyme.Weagreedhe
wouldletmeknowwhenhewasf lyi
ng,
buthere
hewasgoi ngtoGodknowswher eandididn'
t
evenknowaboutit,andy
etifIhaddonethe
safe,
hewoul d'
vegoneofft
herail
s.

Mxm Iwasaboutt oputmyphonedown, but

thenanothercall
,camethrough.Thenumber
wasprivateandi wasn'
tsureifIwant
edto
answer,butintheendgavein

Me;
hel
l
o 
Her
:Ri
fi
loe
Me;
yesHer
:it
'sThenj
i
weandNomal
anga.
Me;
ohhi
ladi
es 
Her
:howar
eyou
Me:
goodt
hanky
ou 
Her
;di
dyougethomeal
ri
ght
 
Me:
yest
hanky
ou 
Her
:(si
l
ence)

Ok,
thiswasawkward.Iwasn'
texactl
yall
owed
t
otalktot
hem andheretheywerecal
li
ngme.

Me:
ahhm.WhatcanIdof
ory
oul
adi
es
Her
:wel
l
,ahhm wewer
ewonder
ing 
Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng 
Her:
Dumi sani
ispl
anni
ngoncomi
ngt
oCTf
ora
busi
nesstri
p.Wewantedt
oknowofy
oumi
ndi
f
wetagalong

Idi
dn'tknowwhattosay
.Iknowtheydidn'tsay
anythi
ngaboutst
ayi
nghere,
buti
couldj ust
sensethatt
heconver
sat
ionwasheadingt her
e

Me:
Ahmmm 
Her:we'
donlybether
efortwonights,t
henwe
wouldbeoutyourhai
r.Wethoughtitwoul
dbe
agoodtimetogettoknowy oubett
erMe: ahhm,
canIgetbacktoyou?Ij
ustneedtospeakt o
Siy
a
Her
:cool
Me:
wil
lyousendmey
ournumber
?
Her
:cool
Me:
Shar
p

Iputt hephonedownandf l
oppedont hebed.I
al
r eadyknewt hatSiy
awoul dn'twantthem
stayinghere,butIcouldn'texactlysayno.That
woul dmakemel ookbadandt helastthi
ngI
neededwast obehat edbyhi sf amil
y.Itr
ied
calli
ngSiyabuthisphonewasobv i
ouslyoff
.So
i
nst eadIcall
edmymot herinlaw.

I
fany
oneknewhowt
ohandl
ethi
sitwoul
dbe
her

Her
:Makot
i
Me:
hiMa.Howar
eyou 
Her
:I'
m goodbaby
.Andy
ou
Me:I
'm ok.Justneedt
otal
kyouabout
somethi
ng
Her
:I'
m al
lear
s 
Me:Thenji
weandNomal angajustcal
l
ed.
Apparent
lyBhutDumisaniiscomingtoCTon
busi
ness,andtheywantedtocomewi t
hand
maybestayherewithus
Her
:Isee 
Me: myproblem thoughisthatSi
yat
oldmet
o
stayawayfrom them butatthesameti
meI
don'twantt
ober ude 
Her
:sowhatdoy
ousuggest
 
Me:
Idon'
tknowma.That
'swhyI
'
mtal
ki
ngt
o
y
ou
Her: Ohmydear .Letmet ell
y ousomet hi
ng.
Youar ethel
inkt hatisgoi
ngt oj oi
nthi
sfamil
y
together
.Siy
abongaandDumi sanihav
en't
gottenal
ongf oral ongti
me, andy ouarethe
onlyonewhowi l
l beabletohel pthem. 
Me;butMa,
ifigoaheadwi
tht
hist
henSi
ya
woul
dbefuri
ous
Her
;Yes.hewi
l
l,buti
ntheendhewi
l
lseei
tsf
or
t
hebest 
Me;
soy
out
hinkIshoul
dlett
hem st
ayov
er 
Her;
wel
l
,theyaref
ami
l
yaf
teral
l
,andwet
ake
car
eoff
amily.
Me;
ohkay
 
Her
;Rif
il
oe.Oncey ougetmar ri
ed,y
oudon'
tjust
marr
ySiyabonga.Youmar ryhissf
amil
y.I
tsup
t
oyoutoputt hatf
amilytogether
Me;
iheary
ou 
Her;PlusNomaandThenjiwewil
l beyour
si
sters.Theywi
llhel
pyousett
leintothefamil
y.
Youneedt ofor
m somekindofrelati
onship
wit
ht hem 
Me;
Iguessy
ou'
rer
ight
 
Her;
Ofcour
seI
'
mri
ght
.I'
myourmot
heri
nlaw
af
teral
l
 
Me;
Indeedy
ouar
e 
Her
;I'
m gl
adwe'
reget
ti
ngal
ong
Me;
met
ooma
Her
;Iwassowr
ongabouty
ou.I
'
m sor
ry 
Me;noneedt
oapologi
zeMa.Wehav
emov
ed
f
orwardfr
om al
loft
hat
 
Her
;yeswehav
e 
Me;Letmeleavey
ouMa.Iwantt
ocal
l
Thenj
iweback 
Her
;ByKot
i 
Me;
ByMa
Iputthephonedownandcal l
edThenji
weback,
l
etti
ngherknowitwasokf orherandherf
amily
tostaywit
husforthenexttwodays. 
ThenisentSi
y aamessageletti
nghi
m know
whatIhaddone.Iknewthatthiswasprobabl
y
goi
ngt obeexplosi
ve,
buttherewashonestl
y
nothi
ngIcoulddo

Afterspeaki
ngtoSibongil
eaboutset
ti
ngup
roomsf orourguest
s,thenIgotr
eadyformy
doctorsappoint
ment.

Afterl
eavi
ngIdecidedtofetchOlwethofr
om
school.I
fSiyawouldn'
tgotheappointmentwi
th
andhav elunch,
thenI'
m pr
ettysureOlwet
ho
wouldlovet oj
oinme.

Wheni
gott
oOl
wet
ho'
sschool
hewasso
exci
tedt
oseeme.itookhi
shandandwewent
tomyappoi
ntment
.

Olwet hojustcoul
dn'tbel
i
ev ehiseyeswhenhe
sawt hebabyont hemonitor.hekeptlooki
ngat
me, andt henatthemonitor.Hewasj ustso
fascinatedanditmademyhear tmelt

Aft
ermyappoint
ment,
weheadedtolunchand
admil
kshakeswit
hburger
s,t
henwenthome.

whenwearri
vedhomeOlwethowentt
opl
ay,
whi
leihel
pedSibongi
l
ewit
hdinner

Dumisaniandhiwivedar
rivedj
ustafter6pm.I
hadtri
edSiyaonhismobileamill
iontimesbut
sti
l
ltherewasnoresponse,sowest art
ed
di
nnerwi t
houthi
m.
Idi
dn'
treal
l
yeatmuch.IknewSi
yawoul
dar
ri
ve
andhewouldn'
tbet
oohappy

AsexpectedSiyawalkedi
nlookingli
kedeath
onwheels.Hisshi
rtwasuntuckedandhisjaw
cl
enched.Iknewhewoul dbereall
ymad,ijust
hadn'
treal
izedthi
smuch
[
05/
15,
10:
08]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

146

(
wil
lpostanot
heronewhenIgethome)

Siy
al ookedatmeshaki
nghishead.Then
walkedtowardshi
sbrother
.Ihav
enoi dea
whereonear t
hhepull
edhisgunoutof,but
somehowhehadi tinhi
shandandhewas
poi
nti
ngi
tathi
sbr
other
.

Weal
li
mmedi
atel
yst
oodupshocked

Hi
m;didi
nott
ell
yout
ost
ayt
hehel
lawayf
rom
mywif
e 
Dumi
;(chuckl
es)notmyf
aul
tyourwi
fewant
ed
meher
e 
ME;
baby
.
Hi
m;shutup 
Me;
donty
oudar
e 
Dumi
;wow,whoknewyouwouldf
inal
l
yfi
nda
womanwhowasn'
tscar
edofyou 
Hi
m;shutup 
Dumi;i
tsawondershehasntr
unf
ort
hehi
l
ls
yet
. 
Hi
m;sayonemor
ewor
dandi
pul
lthet
ri
gger
 
Me;
Siy
amaan.j
ustst
op 
HI
m;whatdi
disayy
oyouaboutt
hem?
 
Me;welli
fyouhadbot
her
edt
oanswery
ou
phone 
Hi
m;i
tol
dyoui
wasbusy
 
Dumi
;tel
lherwher
eyouwer
e 
HI
m;shutup 
Dumi
;tel
lher
Me;
tel
lmewhat
 
Hi
m;not
hing 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loef
orGodssakehush

Siyaputhisgunawayandt ookmyhandinhi
s,
thenpull
edmeupst ai
rs.Isweari
fiwasn'
t
pregnanthewould'
veprobablydr
aggedmeby
myhai r
Me;
siy
aletgoofmyhand 
Hi
m;whydoy
oui
nsi
stondi
sobey
ingme 
Me;
youbet
terl
etgoofmyhandbef
orehur
ti
ng
t
hebaby

Si
yai
mmedi
atel
yletgo

me;
wher
ewer
eyou 
Hi
m;wor
k 
me;
wher
e 
Hi
m;y
ouknowIcantsay
 
Me;howdoesDumisaniknowabouty
our
whereabout
sandi
don't
Hi
m;dr
opi
tRi
fi
loe 
Me;
NoSi
ya.Iwontdr
opt
his 
Hi
m;Iwantt
hem outmyhouset
oni
ght
 
Me;
youmeanOurhouse 
Hi
m;y
ouknowexact
lywhati
mean 
Me;
wel
li
nthatcasey
oucanf
orgetaboutt
hat

Siyatookastept owardsmeandIdi dn'

tmov e.
InsteadIl
ookedathi m andlethi
m knowt hat
I'
m notint
imidatedbyhim.hecoul dhuffand
puffandevent r
yt obl
owt hehousedownbuti
sureashellwasn'tgoingtoaskhisfamilyto
l
eav e.I
fhewant edthem gonehewoul dhav eto
tell
them hi
mself

Me;
giv
eity
ourbestshot
 
Hi
m;y
ouhonest
lyt
hinky
oucant
akemeon 
Me;
yes.Isur
eashel
ldo 
Hi
m;GodIcoul
dki
l
lyour
ightnow 
Me;
Ilov
eyout
oo 
Hi
m;don'
t 
Me;
Itst
het
rut
h 
Hi
m;y
oudontf
ucki
ngl
i
sten 
Me;
makel
ovet
ome 
Hi
m;r
if
il
oe 
Me;
now 
Hi
m;Mhmm

IsawSiya'seyestur
nfr
om angr ytolust
fuli
na
spli
tsecond.Iknowhewant edme, butIhadto
tr
yconv i
ncehim.SoIsteppedclosertohim and
putmyhandsar oundhi
scr otch.

Adeepmoanescapedfrom histhr
oatandhi
s
ey
espupi
l
simmedi at
elydi
lated.

Me;
your
eady
 
Hi
m;y
ouf
ucki
ng 
me;
shhhJustanswert
hequest
ion

Siyaclosedhi
seyesandIunzippedhispant
s,
andst art
edsucki
ng.Themorei went
,themore
hegroaned,whichintur
nmademeaswetasa
fountain

Hi
m;Ri
f.st
opbaby
.pl
easeI

Ist
opedandl
ookedi
ntohi
sey
es

Hi
m;soy
ou'
ret
ryi
ngt
opr
oveapoi
nt 
me;
may
be 
Hi
m;wel
lGameov
er.NowI
tsmyt
urn 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;t
akeof
fyourcl
othes 
Me;
whydon'
tyout
aket
hem of
fforme 
Hi
m;t
aket
hem of
fnow 
Me;
whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo 
Hi
m;Iam goi
ngt
omakey
oupayf
ordi
sobey
ing
me 
Me;welli
tsaboutdamntime.Iwasst
art
ingt
o
t
hinkyouhadlostyourt
ouch 
Hi
m;(
giggl
es)nev
er

Si
yal
ookedint
omyey
es,
andr
ippedmyshi
rt
dr
essopen

Me;
HeyNof
air
.Thi
sismyf
avor
it
edr
ess 
Hi
m;wel
lI
'l
lbuyy
ouanot
herone 
Me;
good.Nowmaket
akeme

Si
yaputment hebedandputhi
sheadbetween
mythi
ghs.Igaspedf
orai
rasifel
thi
m go
savageonmet i
ll
iletgoofever
yint
ensi
tyi
nmy
boyandcol
lapsedaroundhim

Iwantedtotel
lSi
yatostopbuthemyv oi
cewas
gone.icoul
dn'
tdoit
.anditwasobvi
oushehad
nointent
ionofst
oppi
ng.Inst
eadhewantedt
o
punishmeandhewasgoi ngtousesextodoit
.

Me;
Si 
Hi
m;Mhmmm
Me;
Si

Hel
ookedupandsmi
l
ed

Me;
enough 
Hi
m;notev
encl
ose 
Me;
pleasebaby
 
Hi
m;dontbabyme.y
oust
art
edt
his 
me;
iwantt
ofeel
youi
nsi
deme
Hi
m;nomam 
Me;
Please 
Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;
baby
 
Hi
m;f
ine

Si
yagotupandwemadel
ovef
orwhatf
eltl
i
ke
anet
erni
ty.

Wefi
nal
l
ystoppedandbot
hcol
l
apsedi
neach
ot
her
sarms.

Il
ookedathim andhopedhewouldbealot
l
essangry.Aft
ertheper
for
mance,iwas
pr
obablygoingtogiv
ebir
thear
li
erthan
i
ntended.Si
yacer
tai
nlydi
dn'
thol
dback,
andt
o
behonestiwasgl
ad.
[
05/
15,
10:
10]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

147

IlookedupatSiyaandhiseyeswereclosed.I
couldtel
lhewasn'tsl
eepi
ng.Hewasj usttr
ying
tocatchhisbreat
haftert
hecrazyl
ovemaking
sessionwejusthad.

Iwasn'
tsur
ewhetherhewasst
il
lmadornot,
so
deci
dedtoj
ustl
aydownandholdfort
hebest
.

IwasjustabouttolaydownwhenSiyaopened
hi
seyes,andi knewthenthathewasbeyond
pi
ssed.
Ihurl
edmy sel
fuptotr
ygetawaybutSi
yahad
al
readypinnedtot
hebed,andhewasontopof
mewi thbothmywrist
sinhi
shands.

IwantedtotellSi
yatogetof
f,buti
wasli
ter
all
y
frozenandfortheli
feofmemymout hcoul
dn'
t
formt hewords.

IlookedupatSi
yaandhi
seyeswerebloodshot
red.Hewaspissedandl
ordknowsiwas
start
ingt
opanic

Helookedatmeandi
knewt
hathewasnott
o
bearguedwit
h

Hi
m: I
fyouEVERdisrespectmeinfr
ontofmy
br
otheragai
niswearRifi
loe.Shi
twi
l
lhi
tthef
an
Iwantedt
otel
lhi
mtol
etgobuti
wasabi
t
shaken

Hi
m:doi
makemy
sel
fcl
ear

Inoddedandhegotangr
ier

Hi
m:soy
ou'
vel
osty
ourabi
l
ityt
ospeaknow

Idi
dn'
trespond,
andhest
art
edt
oti
ght
enhi
s
gri
p

Me:
Siy
ayou'
rehur
ti
ngme
Hi
m:I
'
m wai
ti
ngf
orar
esponse 
Me:
yesSi
ya.Ihear
dyou.Nowl
etgo

I
nst
eadofl
ett
inggoSi
yat
ight
enedhi
sgr
ip
somemor
e.

Hi
m: i
willnotdi
scusst
hiswi
thyouagai
n.I
fyou
wontr
espectmet hent
hismarr
iagewi
ll
behell
f
oryou. 
Don'
tthi
nkevenforsecondt
hatbecauseyou
knowthaty
ou'remyweaknessthatIwontmake
goodonmypr omise.

Me:Siy
a,mywr
ist
s.Pl
ease.Letgo.They
'r
e
achi
ng

Siyal
ookedatmei nsi
lencef
oraf ewmor e
seconds,thenheletgoofmywrist sbuthe
didn'
tgetoffme.Irubbedmywristsandsaw
thatt
heywer ered,andhadsmal
l spitsofbl
ood
comingfrom them
Him:Youbet
termakesuret
hattheyar
egone
bytheti
meigetback.Ar
eweclear.

Inoddedandhegotof
fmeandgotdr
essed.

Isatonthebednakedwonderingwhathadj ust
happened.Iwassousedtohav i
ngSiyaaround,
Ihadforgot
tenthathewascapableoftur
ning
i
ntoGhostatanygi v
enti
me.

Si
yat
ookonelastdi
sappr
ovi
nglookatmeand
sl
ammedthedoorashewalkedout
.

Il
etoutahugesighandlaybackdown.My
wrist
swereboththr
obbi
ngandt hebabywasn't
exactl
ygent
lewit
hethewasshekeptonkicking.

Isatupandl
ookedatherpl
ayi
ng.I
tal
way
sfel
t
sowei
rdt
ofeel
hermov
e.

Ievent
ual
lygotupandoutonar
obe.Ineeded
tor
inseoffmywrist
sincol
dwat
erbeforegoi
ng
downstai
rs.

Ir
insedmywr i
sts,
thent
ookmyphoneand
madeabookingatahotelf
orDumi
saniandhi
s
wi
v es,
thenIwentdowntodel
i
vert
henews

IsawThenji
wealr
eadyst
andi
ngatt
hebot
tom
ofthest
air
swit
hherbagsint
ow

Her:Iwasjustaboutt
ocomeupt
osay
goodbye 
Me:Thenj
iwe,Im sosorryabouttheway
Si
yabongareacted.Ihonest
lydon'tknowwhat
goti
ntohi
m
Her:don'
tapologi
ze.Weshould'
v eneverasked
t
ocomeher e.Ij
ustthoughtt
hatifDumi and
yourhusbandwereforcedtospenttime
t
ogethertheywouldsomehowf indawayt oat
l
eastbecivil
 
Me:
wel
lIguesswewer
ebot
hwr
ong
Her
:ishoul
derknownbet
ter
.
Me:I
'v
ebookedy
ouguysint
oahot
el.I
llgetone
oft
hedri
ver
stot
akeyou
Her
:youdi
dn'
thav
eto
Me:It
st hel
easti
candoaf
tert
hewaySi
ya
behaved 
Her
:Thanky
ou
Me:
Sho

IwalkedThenji
weoutandoneoft
hedri
ver
s
drov
et hem t
othehot
el,whi
l
eiwentt
otakea
shower. 
Ishower edforashor tmomentandgotout .My
wrist
swer et
hr obbing,andhav ingHi twat eron
them onlymadet hem wor se.Soi gotdressed,
thenwentt ogett hef ir
staidkit.Ineededoneof
thosefreezebandagest oputar oundmywr ist
s.
Oncedone, i
goti ntobedandr eflectedonwhat
hadhappened, andmybl oodst artedt oboi l
.
Howcoul dSiyabehav ethewayhedi dtowar ds
me?hehadpr omi sedt oneverhur tmeandy et
hereiwaswi t
hbandagesar oundmywr ists.

Iknowwasov err
eact
ingbutmywrist
swere
honest
lysaw,andtheonlyt
hingt
hatmadeit
bett
erwerethebandages.

Igotupandwenttooneofthesparebedrooms
andlockedt
hedoor.IknowonceSiyagotback
hewouldbeasmoodyasf uck,andhonestl
yI
wasn'ti
nthemood
Igoti
ntothebedanddozedoffi
mmediat
ely
.
Theeventsoft
hedayhadreal
lyt
iredmeout,
andIwelcomedsleepwi
thopenarms.

Iwokeupt
othesoundofal
oudbangont
he
door
.

Iwasabitoutofi
tandlookedar
oundtosee
wherei
was, wheninot
icediwasint
hespar
e
bedr
oom.

Asecondlat
erandt
hebangi
ngcont
inued.Ij
ust
knewitwasSiy
a.

Hi
m:Opent
hef
ucki
ngdoorRi
fi
loe

Ir
oll
edmyey
esandwentt
oopent
hedoor
.Si
ya
bargedi
nandl
ookedatmeasi
gotbacki
nto
bed.

Iwashonest
lyonl
yhal
fawakeandj
ustwant
ed
togetbacki
ntobed

Hi
m:whyar
eusl
eepi
ngi
nher
e 
me:canwej
ustdot
hisi
nthemor
ningSi
ya.I
'
m
noti
nthemood
Hi
m:t
hencomet
obed 
Me:
im war
m andcomf
ort
abl
eher
e
Hi
m:Iwon'
trepeatmy
sel
f
Me:
Si

Ididn'
tgett
oevenst
artmysentence.Si
yahad
alr
eadyyankedmeoffthebedandcarri
edme
toourroom.
Idi
dntcompl
ain.I
nsteadij
ustputmyheadi n
hi
sneckandbreathedinhi
sdeli
ciousscent

heputmedownont hebedandi dozedof f

againalmostimmedi at
ely.Icoul
dt el
lSiya
wantedt otal
kandpr obabl yfi
ght,becausehis
eyeswer esti
ll
red,buti wasn'tgoingto
entert
ainhim.Nothingwasgoi ngtocome
betweenmeandmysl eep.Notevenmyr agi
ng
angrygangsterpshycohusband.

Siy
alookedatmeandshookhi
shead,
then
changedandgoti
ntobedwi
thme.

Hemadenoef f
orttocuddl
eme,soimov ed
closertohi
m andlaymyheadonhischestand
tangledmyfeetwithhi
s.

Hemaybemad,
andqui
tef
rankl
ysowasi
.But
r
ightnowall
thatmat
ter
edwasmyneedtobe
i
nhisarms.Round2wouldhav
etowai
tfor
t
omor r
ow.
[
05/
15,
10:
10]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

148

Iwokeupt hefol
lowingmor ni
ngandheardSiya
i
nt heshower.Iwashonestlysomadathi mfor
whathedid.Iknowhewasangr y,buthow
couldhebesocr uel
?Sowast hi
sgoingtobe
myl i
fenow.Woul dIhavetofearmyhusband?
Whycouldhet hi
nkt hatt
hiswasok?

Igotoutofbed,andwenttotheclosettofet
ch
afewofmyt hings,t
henwenttoshoweri none
ofthesparebedrooms.Iact
ual
lydecidedto
mov eint
ooneoft hebedr
ooms.WhatSi yadid
wasn’tOk.Hepromisedhewouldn’thurtme
physi
call
yagain,andy
ether
eIwaswi
th
bandagedwrists.

Aftermyshower,Ichangedi nt
omywor kout
gear,andheadedforbreakfast
.IIf
ound
OlwethoandSiyasti
lleati
ngso, Ij
oinedthem.I
satnexttoOlwethoanddishedupf ormy sel
f

Hi
m;mommy
.Whathappenedt
oyourwr
ist
s?

Il
ookedatSi
yaandhel
ookedaway

Me;
Ibur
nedmy
sel
fboy
 
Hi
m;sor
rymommy
 
Me;don’
tworryabouti
t.Eatup.You’
regoi
ngt
o
bel
ateforschool
 
Hi
m;I
’
m done 
Me;r
unupstai
rsandbr
ushy
ourt
eet
h.I
’
llt
ake
yout
oschool

Olwethogotupandr anupstai
rs,l
eavi
ngusi
n
anawkwar dsil
ence.Iwasn’
tgoingtobot
hert
o
fi
ghtwithSiyaaboutthi
s.Heknewhewas
wrongandi fhewasn’tgoi
ngtosaysomethi
ng
aboutit
,thenneit
herwouldI

Ol
wethocamedownandIgotupt
ohel
phi
m
wi
thhisbag

Hi
m;I
’
m al
lreadymommy
 
Me;
come.Let
sgo 
Hi
m;Ok

HegaveSi
yaaki
ssgoodby
e,t
henl
ookedov
er
atme
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;ar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
oki
ssdaddy

OhGoshOl wethohonest
lyhadnosenseof
ti
ming.Thelastt
hingIwantedwast obenear
Siy
a,butatthesametimeIdidn’
twantOl wet
ho
knowingwhenSiyaandIwer efi
ghti
ng.Idon’
t
wanttoburdenhim wi
thourproblems
Iwentt oSiyaandgav ehim aki ssonthecheek,
andhehel dontomywai st.Il
ookeddownand
forthefir
sttimesincethisthinghappenedmy
eyeswat ered.I
t’
sast houghSi yaandIwould
nevertrulyfi
ndpeace.Ev eryt
hingwasgoingso
wellforthepastfewmont hs,andnowher ewe
werewi thmor esecret
s. 
Ilookedawaybef
oremyt ear
scouldf
all
.I
refusedt
ocryinf
rontofOlwetho.
 
Me;
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)weshoul
dgetgoi
ng
Siy
adi
dn’
tletgo,
inst
eadheki
ssedmyst
omach,
andst
oodup

Hi
m;weneedt
otal
k 
Me;
I’
mtaki
ngOl
wet
hot
oschool
 
Hi
m;t
heguar
dscant
akehi
m 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;(
sigh)f
ine

Siy
aletgo,andIt
ookOlwethotoschool.I
wantedtowalkhi
mi nbutherefused.Hesaid
somethi
ngaboutbeingoldenoughtowalkby
hi
mself,andIj
ustsmil
edandwav ed.Butthen
heranbackoutandIlookedathim conf
used

Hi
m;If
orgott
oki
ssmybabysi
ster
 
Me;
wel
lgoahead

Hel
eanedandkissedmystomach,t
henran
i
nsi
de,becauset
heschool
guardswerecl
osing
t
hegates.

Iwavedonel astt
ime,thenwentbackt omycar.
Icoul
dseet heguardsinmyr evi
ewmi rror
,andI
knewtheywer efol
lowingme.Itookadeep
breat
he,andwentt othegym.Icould’
vewor ked
outatthegym atthehouse,butIwantinthe
moodt obelockedupi nthehouse.Ineededto
beoutandabout .

Iworkedoutf oranhour,
thendecidedtogo
shopping.Wehadbeensobusyt helastf
ew
mont hs,thatwehadn’
tevenstar
tedgetti
ngthe
nurseryready. 
Ist
art
edwi
tht
hebi
gthi
ngsf
ir
st.IknewI
wouldn’
tbeabl
etokeeponmyf eetfortool
ong,
somybestopti
onwouldbetostartwiththe
fur
nit
ure,t
henmovetotoy
s,andthenclothi
ng

Iboughtallf
urni
tur
e,t
hengavethem t
he
addressfori
ttobedeli
ver
ed.Thenlef
ttogo
home.  
Myf eetwer
ehell
ofaswol
l
en,andt
hefactt
hat
Ihadsecuri
tyf
oll
owi
ngme,j
ustmadet
hings
worse.

WhenIgothomeIwentstrai
ghtt
othel
ounge,
t
oputmyf eetup,
andtomysurpri
seSi
yawas
i
nthedi
ningroom wi
ththechi
ef.
 
Ihonestl
ywasnoti nthemoodt obet
hecordial
,
nicemakoti.Ij
ustwantedtoputmyfeetupand
relax
.Andtomaket hingsworseIwasinmy
gym gear.
 
Theybot
hlookedatme,
andIcoul
dtel
lthe
chi
efdi
sappr
ovedonwhatIwaswear
ing.

Igreet
edt
hem, t
henwentupstair
stomyr oom.I
neededahotshowerandhopefull
ytheywoul
d
begonebytheti
meIcameout

WhenIcameoutt heshowerSiyawassitt
ingon
thebedwait
ingforme.Iwalkedpassedhi
m
andwenttotheclosettogetdr
essed.I
fhe
wantedtosaysomet hi
ngtheni
twouldhaveto
waitti
l
lIwasatleastdecent

Igotdressedinoneofmymanymaxi dr
esses,
andsandals.Siy
awasst andi
ngbehi
ndmet he
wholetime,andhonest
lyIwasstart
ingt
oget
annoyed

Me;ar
ey ougoi
ngtoj
ustst
andt
her
eori
sther
e
somet
hingyouwantt
osay 
Hi
m;wher
ehav
eyoubeen 
Me;
asky
oursecur
it
ydet
ail
 
Hi
m;(
sigh)weneedt
otal
k 
Me;
youhav
eaguestdownst
air
s 
Him;Iknow.That
’swhatIneedt
otal
ktoy
ou
about 
Me;
Whati
sitSi
ya 
Hi
m;comedownst
air
s 
Me;
what
’sgoi
ngon 
Hi
m;come

Iwal
keddownstair
s,wit
hmyhearti
nmythroat.
Somethi
ngaboutSiya’
scal
mnessseemedoff.I
j
ustknewwhateverhewantedt
otal
kaboutwas
goi
ngtobebig

Isatopposi
teSi
yaandt
heChi
efsatatt
hehead
oft
hetabl
e.Sibongi
l
ehadboughtthr
ough
somedri
nks,soIoptedf
orabott
leofwat
er.

Chi
ef:
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
) 
Si
ya:
AhmhRi
fi
loe.Ineedt
otel
lyousomet
hing 
Me:
Si…You’
rescar
ingme 
Si
ya;
ahmmm I
t’
sjustt
hat
Chi
ef;
Gett
othepoi
ntNdot
a 
Siy
a;Iknowt
hiswil
lcomeasashock.ButI
t’
s
beyondmycontr
ol 
Me;
whati
sit
 
Hi
m;Ihav
edeci
dedIneedt
otakeasecond
wi
fe

Il
ookedatSiy
a,thenatthechi
ef.IknowIhear
d
Si
yabutthi
sjustdidn’
tsoundr
ight.
 
Si
ncewhenwoul
dSi
yawantasecondwi
fe?
Thelastt
imehismothersuggest
edt
hishet
old
herwheretogetof
f,andnowherehewas
tel
l
ingmet hesamebull
shit
.
[
05/
15,
10:
11]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

149

Istar
edatSi yablankl
y.ImeandidIhonest
ly
hearhim correct
ly.Di
dhejustt
ellmethathe
wantedtot akeasecondwi f
e

Me;
sor
ry.what
?It
hinkIdi
dn’
theary
our
ight
 
Chief
;Youhear
dhi
m Makot
i.Hei
staki
nga
secondwif
e

Il
ookedatthisidi
otChi
efsi
tt
ingonmyt abl
e
andfel
tli
ketell
i
nghimtogetlost.Il
ookedat
myhusbandandhewoul dn’
tlookatme
Me;
Si…Ndhl
ovu.Why
?
Chi
ef;
becausei
tisourcust
om

Il
ookedatSiyaandexpect
edhimtorespond,
buthedi
dn’t
.Hewasl ooki
ngawayast hough
hehadnothi
ngtodowi tht
hisconv
ersati
on.

Me;
canIbeexcused

Ilookedatt
hechief
,ThenatSiya.Noneofthem
respondedsoIt
ookt hedeci
sionformysel
f.

Ist
oodup, andl
eftthem atthetabl
e.Ther
ewas
nousef ormetosayanything.Theyhadalr
eady
madet hedeci
sionandsot herewasnothi
ng
fur
thertobesaid.
Igotupst
airsandItoldmysel
ftobreat
he.I
neededtothinkaboutmybaby.Iwasn’
tgoi
ng
toloset
hischil
d,becauseofSi
ya.

Siyawal
kedin,
asIwasl eani
ngoverthesi
nki
n
thebat
hroom.Ifel
tli
keIwasgoingtobri
ngup.

Him;Rifi
loe.Iknowthiscomesasashock,butI
needy outoknowi t’
snotadeci
siont
hatIt
ook
l
ight
ly.It
scompl icat
ed
Me;
ok

Si
ya’
slookedatmeast
houghIwer
ecr
azy
Me;Si
y a.Youcantakeasecond,thi
rdor
howevermanywi v
esy ouwant.AslongasI
’
m
noti
nvolved 
Hi
m;whatdoy
oumean
Me;
I’
mti
redSi
ya.Ti
redoff
ight
ing.Ti
redof
cr
ying.Ican’
tdot
hisany
mor
e.I
t’
sal
lj
ustt
oo
much 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Letmeexpl
ain 
Me;
ok 
Him;I
’m nottaki
ngasecondwife,
becauseI
don’
tlov
ey ou.OrbecauseIwantt
o.I’
mjust
doi
ngitoutofduty 
Me;
dut
y? 
Hi
m; IfIdon’tmarr
yher,thenDumisani
wil
l
.And
Ri
fi
loe.Ijustcan’
tlett
hathappen 
Me;
Siy
ayouar
enotmaki
ngsense.
Hi
m; RememberIt
oldyouaboutmel
eav
ing
whenIhadtot
akeoveraschief
Me;
yes
Him;Myf
amilyhadal
readyaskedf
orNal
edi
’
s
handi
nmarr
iage
Me;
Nal
edi
 
Hi
m;y
es
WhenIfi
rstheardaboutt
hisNaledi.I
twasfr
om
t
hesmsf rom Li
nda,andli
keanidiot,
Ibel
i
eved
t
hatSi
yahadnomor esecret
s. 
Me;
whoi
sthi
sNal
edi
gir
l 
Him;She’
sthedaught
eroft
hechi
efof
Lesot
ho. 
Me;
soshe’
sfr
om r
oyal
ty 
Hi
m;y
es 
Me;
wel
l
.Iwi
shy
ouawonder
ful
mar
ri
age 
Him;baby .Pl
easet ryt
ounder st
and.Thisisn’
t
aboutlove.It
’sjustaboutdoingwhat’sri
ght.
Ourfamil
yhadmadeapr omisetoherfami l
y
anditsonlyrightthatwesticktoit
. 
Me;
sol
etDumi
sani
mar
ryher
Hi
m; Icantl
ett
hem dothat
.Dumisani
isanass
Ri
fi
loe.Hewouldt
reatherl
i
kedir
t
Me;
soy
ouwi
l
lbeherkni
ghti
sshi
ningar
mor
 
Him;notexact l
y.Iwoul
dn’
tbewithherRifi
l
oe.
Youwoul dstil
lbemywi f
e.Shewouldjustbe
theli
nktojointhetwohousestogether
.Think
aboutwhatt hatwouldmeanforthethr
one.For
thecountry?MyunclewouldstayaschiefandI
wouldbei nchargeofLesot
ho’senti
remili
tar
y
base.Whichmeantwewoul dhavemore
agents.
 
Me;Siy
aIdon’tcareaboutal
loft
hat
.That
’snot
whatIdreamedof.AllI
’
veeverwant
edwasyou
Hi
m;babynot
hingwoul
dchange.Iswear
 
Me;ev
ery
thi
ngwouldchangeSiy
a.Youhardl
y
hav
eenoughti
meformeandOl wethoasiti
s.
Howoneart
hwouldyoujuggl
ealloft
his?
Him;Iwoul
dmakeitworkRi
fi
loe.Al
lIneedi
s
youbymysideandthi
swoul
dwor k

IlookedatSi
yaandsawt hathet
rul
ybel
i
eved
thatthi
swouldwork.ButIj
ustwasn’
twi
ll
i
ngto
dothi
sanymore.Ican’
tkeepcompet
ingwi
th
di
ff
erentwomantokeepSi y
a.

Me;Siya.Icannotdot hi
swithyou.Ilovey ou,
butthebaggaget hatcomeswi t
hy ouist oo
much.You’ vehadsecretsf
rom thebegi nning,
andIhav eforgi
venyouinallofthem, butnow
thi
sisjusttoomuch.Youcan’ texpectmet obe
okwi t
hthis 
Hi
m;baby
,pl
ease 
Me; no.y
ouhaveadeci si
ontomake.Youcan
eit
herchoseme, ory
oucangoandl iv
ey ourl
i
fe
thewayy oupl
easewi t
houtme.Iwil
lnotmake
anymor esacr
if
icesforyou.Thi
sisi
t.
 
Hi
m;But
 
Me;
whatwi
l
litbe

Siyal
ookedatmeconf
li
ctedandIj
ustknew
thatt
hiswasit
.
Me;
wel
l
.Iguessy
ou’
vemadey
ouchoi
ce
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Wai
t

JustasIwasaboutt
owalkouttherewasa
knockonthedoor
.Siy
agotupandwentt o
open,andSi
bongi
lewasontheothersi
de

Her;
sorryt
odi
stur
bSi
r.Ahhm ButThechi
ef
hasaskedmetoasky
outobothcomedown 
Hi
m;Ok.We’
l
lbet
her
enow

Si
bongi
l
elef
tandSi
yal
ookedatme

Hi
m;weshoul
dgodown 
Me;
no.Iwontbesummonedi
nmyowhouse 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Pl
ease.Canwej
ustt
alkaboutt
his
oncehe’
sgone?
 
Me;
whi
chi
swhen 
Hi
m;Idon’
tknow

It
ookadeepbreathandl
ookedatSiy
a.How
wasthi
shappeni
ng?HowwasIlosingtheonl
y
manItr
ulyl
ove?

It
ookast
ept
owar
dsSi
yaandputmyhandi
n
hi
s

Me;Si
y a.Please.I’
m beggi ngy ou.Don’
tdot hi
s.
Don’
tdestroyev ery
thingwehav eworkedso
har
dtobui l
d.(Sniff
)Thinkofhowf arwehav e
come.Please, I
’
lldoany thing.I’
llt
ryharder
.I’
ll
bemor erespectful
.I’
lll
istent oyou.Iwon’tfi
ght
youeverychanceIget .Justpl easeSiya.Don’t
dothi
st ous.Toourf ami ly.Don’tbreakus
Siy
awi pedawayatearfr
om myeyes.It
ri
edto
contr
ol myshaki
nghandsbutIj
ustcoul
dn’
t.

Him;baby .Justt
rytounder
stand.I
’
m sureif
youjustthinkaboutit
.Youwil
lseethati
tsmot
muchofabi gdeal.I
t’
snotl
ikeIwil
lbeint
imate
withher.Oractual
lyhavearel
ati
onshipwit
hher.
I
t’sal
ljustforshow.

Me;
soy
ou’
rechoosi
ngherov
erus 
Hi
m;no.I
’
m 
Me;
don’
tbot
her
.It
’sobv
iouswher
eIst
and

Itookmyhandoutofhi shandandwal ked

downstai
rs.Therewasnousearguing.Siyahad
madeitcrystal
clearwhatheval
uedmost ,and
asalwayshewaschoosi ngsomethi
ngov erme.
Isatatt
hediningroom t
abl
ewitht
hechi
efand
Siy
a,andjustwait
edtohearwhatt
heywant
ed
tosay.

Chief
: sohaveyout
wocomet
oan
understandi
ng?
 
Si
ya;
Wewer
est
il
ldi
scussi
ngi
tmal
ume.
 
Chief
;Idon’
tseewhatissodiff
icul
tto
underst
andhere.Thi
sisyourduty,
andnot
hing
canchangethat 
Si
ya;Iknow.Butthi
sisal
lver
ynewt oRi
fil
oe.I
j
ustneedmor eti
met omakeherunder
stand 
Chief;wedon’thavetime.Wel eav
et oni
ghtto
gof i
nishofftal
ksaboutt heLobola.Idon’t
understandwhyy ouinsistedonhav i
nguscome
al
lthewaybackher e.Thisallcould’
vebeen
set
t l
edy est
erdayal
ready .
Me;soyest
erday
,whenyousai
dyouwereaway
onbusi
nessyouwereact
ual
lywit
hher
 
Si
ya;
yes.No.I
t’
snot
 
Me;I
tsf
ineSi
ya.Youdon’
thavet
osayanot
her
wor
d.Iwil
lmakethi
ngseasyf
oryou.

It
urnedandl
ookedatt
hechi
ef

Me;
Siy
awi
l
lmar
ryNal
edi
.
 
Chief;good.Nowyoumayexcuseus.Weneed
todiscusssomeotherimpor
tantantdet
ail
s
aboutt hel
ivi
ngar
rangement
 
Me; oh.Don’
tworr
yaboutthat.Nal
edi
canst
ay
herewithherHusband.Iwi
llstayi
nmyown
house 
Si
ya;
Nev
er 
Chi
ef;
thatsoundsr
easonabl
e
Me;
I’
ll
gopack 
Si
ya;
Rif
il
oewai
t

Igotupandwentt ofetchmyhandbagupst ai
rs.
Idi
dn’tevenbotherpacki
ng.Ineededtogetout
ofhere,bef
oreIbreak.Ir
efusetolett
hem see
mecr y.
 
Itookmyback,
andwenttothesafetofet
ch
thekey
sformytownhouse.Thenwentback
downstai
rs.

Si
yast
oodupwhenhesawmeappr
oachi
ng

Hi
m;y
oucan’
tbedoneal
ready
 
Me;I
llsendsomeonet
ofet
cht
her
estofmy
st
uff
 
Hi
m;canIj
ustt
alkt
oyouRi
fi
loe
Me;noneed.Wewoul
dn’
twanty
out
okeept
he
chi
efwai
ti
ng.
IlookedatSiyaonelastti
me, hopingt osee
somet hi
ngthatwouldgivemehope, butthere
wasnot hi
ng.Iwantedtoseehi m ast heman
thatIfel
li
nlovewith2y ear
sago.Iwant edto
seemyhusband, butthemanst andinginfront
ofmewasnowher enearwhatIt houghthewas.
Andnowi twast i
mef ormet ofinall
ylethim go.
[
05/
15,
10:
12]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

150

Igotinmycar ,
andmadeashortpr
ayer
.I
neededtobecal m,
soIcoul
dgethome.The
l
astthingIneededwastohur
tmybaby.
BecauseofSiyaandhi
sdrama.

Istar
tedt
hecar,andwant
edtogostr
aightt
o
theair
por
t,butt
henOlwet
hopoppedi
ntomy
mi
nd.

HowdoIleavehim herewit
hSi y
a?Ol wethowas
l
ikemyveryown,andIcouldjustdisappearon
him.I
twouldn’
tbefair
,butatthesamet ime,
howdoItakeachil
dt hat
’snotmi ne?

Iswitchedoffthecarandthoughtaboutmy
predi
cament .I
fItookOlwethothatwouldmean
Ihavet odealwit
hSiya,butei
therwayIwas
pregnantwithhischi
ldandIwoul dhavetodeal
withhim.

Itookami nutetothinkwhatIwasgoi ngtodo.I

hadtoputmyf eel
ingsasi deanddowhatwas
bestforthechil
dren.IfIleftOlwethothatwould
meanhewoul dbel eftwithSibongil
e24/ 7andI
j
ustwasn’ thavi
ngit.Olwet homaynotbemy
bl
ood, butheismyson, andIwon’ tlethim go,
j
ustbecauseofhi
sst
upi
dfat
her
. 
SoIswal
l
owedmypr
ide,
andcal
l
edSi
ya

Hi
m;Baby
 
Me;
Ineedt
otal
ktoy
ou 
Hi
m;comei
nsi
de 
Me;
Idon’
twantt
otal
kinf
rontofy
ouruncl
e
Hi
m;wher
ear
eyou 
Me;
int
hegar
age 
Hi
m;I
’
m comi
ng

Iwipedmyey
es,andtookadeeperbr
eat
h.Ihad
tor
emaincal
m.Iam sickofgi
vi
ngSiy
amy
power.

Si
yast
eppedi
ntot
hecarandl
ookedatme.
Hi
m;I
’
m gl
ady
ouhav
en’
tlef
t
Me;Iam l
eavi
ngSiya,
Ijustneededt
ospeakt
o
youaboutsomet
hing 
Hi
m;what
 
Me;
Iwantt
otakeOl
wet
hot
oJHBwi
thme 
Hi
m;no 
Me;
Siy
ahearmeout
 
Hi
m;NoRi
fi
loe
Me;Si
yajusttr
ytoputwhateverisgoi
ngon
bet
weenusaside.Thisi
saboutOl wet
ho.We
bot
hknowi twoul
dn’tber
ightformetoleav
e
hi
m her
e 
Him;Ri
fil
oe.Youaren’
tgoi
ngany
whereti
l
lIsay
so.Sotherei
snousef ory
outot
hinkt
hat
you’
regoinganywhere
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;No.youneedtol
ist
ent
omeandl i
sten
caref
ull
y.Iknowt
hisi
snoti
deal
.Buty
ouandI
wil
ltal
kaboutthi
sandf i
ndawayt hr
oughi
t.I
’
m
notl
osingyou.Notbecauseoft
his 
Me;Tellmesomet
hing.Andpl
easet
ryt
obe
honest
 
Hi
m;ok 
Me;Howlonghav
eyoubeendi
scussi
ngt
his
wi
thyourf
amil
ybehi
ndmyback 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me; NoSiya.Youlef
tourhome, andwentto
Lesothotogospeakwi ththefamil
yofagi r
l
thatyouplanonmar r
ying,
andy oudidn’
tthi
nki
t
wasi mportantf
oryoutotellme 
Hi
m;baby
 
Me; No.Si
yaIam noti nterestedany more.You
havehurtmeov erandov eragain.Andr ight
nowIcannott akeitanymor e.Idon’ twanttobe
i
nt hi
smarriage.Icrymor et hatIlaugh.Wef i
ght
every2secondsandIam j ustov erit.Si
yawe
haveababyont heway .Iwantt obehappy ,
so
thatIcanbeagoodmother.Iwon’tbeabl
eto
begoodmot heri
fIam i
nar el
ati
onshi
pwitha
manwhoconst ant
lyhur
tsme 
Hi
m;baby
 
Me;Si
ya.Pl
ease.Forthesakeofourchildr
en.
Letmego.Gooutandl i
veyourdream.Bet he
headoft
heforce.TakeoverLesotho.Doital
l.
Justl
etmeandmychi ldr
enbe.Please.Iam
beggi
ngyou
Hi
m;what
’sal
loft
hiswi
thouty
ou 
Me; I
’venev eraskedy out obet hi
sher oguy.All
I’
veev eraskedi sthatyoul ovemeenought obe
honestwi t
hme.Youhav er ui
nmeSi ya.Ican
nevert rul
ybehappyagai n.Icannev erbewi t
h
anotherman, becauseIlov edy ousodeeply,
andy out ookmyhear tandst eppedoni tever
y
chancey ougot.SiyaIgav eupev erythi
ng.Siya
mypar entsaredead.BecauseIwasassoci ated
withy ou,andy ousiti
nt hereandl etthatman
mistreatmei nmyownhouseandy ousay
nothi
ng.YouweresupposedtoprotectmeSi
ya.
Inearl
ydiedt
wiceforyouandsti
l
l y
oucome
homeandt el
lmey ouwanttomarrysomegir
l,
becausesheisfr
om royal
ty 
Hi
m;(
sil
ence)
 
Me;soplease(sni
ff
)justletmego.Thi
s
marri
agehasrunitscourseSiy
a.Wecannever
comebackf r
om thi
s.Thereisj
usttoomuch
hur
t
Hi
m;(
sigh)sowhatar
eyousay
ing 
Me;Iam say
ing.Ineedtogetawayfrom t
his
ent
ir
esit
uati
on.Iwantt ogi
vebi
rthandenjoy
mybaby.IwantOl wet
hotobewithhissi
ster
.I
j
ustwanttobreathe 
Hi
m;soy
ou’
renott
hinki
ngofadi
vor
ce 
Me;Iam.Butfir
stIwanttohavethebaby.I
t’
s
al
ltoomuchrightnow.Butyes.Event
ual
l
ywe
wi
llbeheadeddownt hatr
oad 
Hi
m;Iwon’
tlett
hathappen 
Me;I
’m notdi
scussi
ngthi
swithyou.Ri
ghtnowI
j
ustwantOlwethoandIoutofher
e 
Hi
m;ist
her
eanywayIcanconv
incey
out
o
st
ay 
Me;
no
Hi
m;inthatcaseI’
l
lgiv
eyouthespacey
ou
r
equi
re.Butundersomecondi
ti
ons
Me;
condi
ti
ons?
Him;Ineed24hourstogetyourhouseready
regar
dingsecur
it
y.Iwon’
thaveyouliv
ingin
danger 
Me;
howmuchsecur
it
y 
Hi
m;4
Me;
out
side 
Hi
m;Yes
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;andIwantaccesst
oyouandmychi
l
dren 
Me;
wewi
l
lar
rangeav
isi
tat
ioncal
endar
 
Him;No.aslongaswear
emar
ri
ed,
Idon’
twant
younearanymen 
Me;SiyaIam 7andahal fmonthspregnant.No
mani sgoingtowantme.AndIdon’twantt o
eventhinkaboutdati
ng.Butmakenomi stake.I
wil
lseeorbewi thanymanIwantt obewi th.
Don’tthi
nkforasecondthatIwil
ll
etyoudoas
youpleaseregardi
ngmyl ovel
i
fe.
 
Hi
m;we’
l
lseeaboutt
hat
 
Me;wel
lyouhave24hours.I
’
m goi
ngtobook
mysel
fandOlwethoi
ntoahotel
fort
oni
ght 
Him;y
oudon’tneedt
o.Youhav
eaper
fect
ly
goodenoughhome 
Me; soouwantmetostayher
e,whi
l
ey ougoto
Lesothoanddi
scusst
hedetai
lsf
oryournew
wife 
Hi
m;don’
tmakei
tsoundl
i
ket
hat
 
Me;
Itsf
act
s 
Hi
m;Baby
.Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
thenl
etdumi
sani
Mar
ryher
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
you’
rei
nlov
ewi
thher
 
Hi
m;No 
Me;
Icanseei
t 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
Ineedt
ogof
etchOl
wet
hof
rom school
Hi
m;I
’
veal
readysentaguar
d

Il
ookedintoSiy
a’sey
es,andjuststar
tedcry
ing.
Thereisnot
hingmorepainf
ulthenknowingthat
anotherwomanhasrepl
acedy ouinyour
husband’
sheart

Him;Rif
il
oe.Il
oveyou.Iknowi
tdoesn’
tlook
l
ikeIdo.ButIr
eall
ydo 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m; j
ustl
etmemaket
hisr
ight
.IknowIcan.I
j
ustneedt
ime
Me; Siy
a.Youaremarry
inganotherwoman.She
willbeyourwi
fe.Yourf
ami l
ywill
expectaheir
,
andwhataboutme?Iwi llbethecommoner
thatevery
onefeel
ssorryfor
.I’
m sorr
y,butIwi
ll
neverbeputinsuchasituati
on.
 
Hi
m;i
twoul
dn’
tbel
i
ket
hat
 
Me; soy ouexpectmetobewithyousexual
l
y,
knowi ngthatyouwer
ewithhertheni
ght
before 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me; Howwouldy oufeeli
fIweretodothesame?
IfIweretosl
eepwi t
haman.Hav ehimt ouch
me.Hav ehim ki
ssme.Hav ehi
m dothingst o
met hatonl
yyouwer eall
owedtodo,andt hen
comehomet oyouhav eyoudothesame?
Si
yat
ight
enedhi
sfi
sts,
andcl
enchedhi
sjaw
Me; maybeIshoulddot hat.MaybeIshoul djust
throwmy sel
fatthefi
rstmanIcomei ncont act
with.Orbett
eryet,
Ishoul dmaybecall Jason.
Judgingbythewayheki ssedme, I
’m prett
y
sureheknowswhathe’ sdoi nginthebedr oom.
PlusI’
veneverbeenwi t
hawhi t
emanbef ore.
Apparentl
ytheyaremuchbet t
erlover
st han
blackme.
Hi
m;Rifi
l
oe.Iam war
ningyou.Iknowwhatyou
ar
etr
yingtodo.Andbeli
evemei t
sworki
ng.
 
Me;Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
.I’
m
j
ustthi
nki
ngabouti
t
Hi
m;Isweart
oGod 
Me;what?Wil
lyouhitme?Orwi
l
lyouki
l
lev
ery
guyIcomeincontactwi
th?
 
Hi
m;y
ouar
ebei
ngunf
air
 
Me;(
laughi
ng)Me?Unfair
?NoSiya.Youaret
he
onewhoisunfai
r.Youexpectmetosayyest
o
all
thebullshi
tyoubri
ngintomyl i
fe?Never.I
am 26y earsol
dforGod’ssake.Iam tooyoung
todiefr
om stressbecauseofyou.From nowon
Iwil
lli
vemyl if
ethewayIseef i
t
Hi
m;soy
ouwi
l
lbecomeawhor
e 
Me;
Ift
hat
’swhatIwantt
heny
es.
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe
Me;whatSi
ya?Youareal
lowedtodoasy
ou
pl
easemos.Idon’
tseewhyIcan’
t 
Hi
m;becauseIam y
ourhusband 
Me;
notf
orl
ong 
Hi
m; soyouar
egoingtorunoutoft
his
marr
iage,l
i
keyoudidwit
htheonewithBul
l
et 
Me; yes.BecauseIknowwhatIam wor th.The
bi
ggestmi stakeIev ermadewasnotgi ving
Hlokesanot herchance.IfonlyIhad,Iwouldn’
t
besitti
ngher easmi serabl
easev erwithaman
whohasnor egar
dsf ormyf eel
ings
Hi
m;don’
tyoudar
e 
Me;
it’
sthetr
uth.I
fIhadonl
yli
stenedtomy
mot
her.Iwoul
dbel i
vi
ngmyhappilyev
eraf
ter
.
Him;Iam goi
ngt
ol eavenow.Bef
oreIdo
somethi
ngwewillbothregr
et.

Siyagotoutandbangedt hecardoor .Ihonest

ly
didn’
tcar ethathewasangry.Thismanhasput
met hroughenough.Ihavet r
iedeveryt
hingI
possiblycouldtomakethiswor k,
butnowI
couldn’tdoany mor
e.Nowi twast i
mef ormet o
takecar eofmeandmychi l
dren.Thelastthi
ng
onmymi ndwouldbeanotherman.
[
05/
15,
15:
17]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

151

Il
etSi
yago,
andImadeabooki
ngf
orOl
wet
ho
andIi
ntot
heone&onl
yhot
elatt
hewat
erf
ront
.
Lucki
l
yOl
wet
hoar
ri
vedandIwel
eft
..

Hi
m;Mommywher
ear
egoi
ng
Me;wewi
l
ltalkwhenwegett
othehot
el.Rat
her
t
ell
mehowy ourdaywas

Olwethoexci
tedlytol
dmeabouthi sday,and
whathedid.Hewasexci tedhewasgoi ngon
holi
daysoon.Iletoutasighofrel
i
ef,because
hedidn’
tseem towor r
iedaboutst
ayingatthe
hotel
 
Whenwegottot
hehot
el,
Ior
der
edusdi
nner
,
andwewentt
oourr
oom. 
Ibat
hedOl
wetho,
gav
ehi
m hi
sdi
nner
,andt
hen
puthi
mtobed.

Hi
m;somommy
.Wear
egoi
ngt
oli
vei
nJobur
g
andDaddyi
sgoi
ngt
ost
ayher
e 
Me;
yesl
ove 
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Hi
m; butMommyIlovey
ouanddaddy
.Idon’
t
wanttobewit
houthi
m 
Me;Ol
wetho.Wewil
lbefi
ne.Youwil
lmakenew
f
ri
endsandhavey
ourli
tt
lesist
ert
olook
f
orwar
dto
Hi
m;ok 
Me;
Ilov
eyou.
 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
out
oomommy
 
Me;
getsomer
est
.Wel
eav
etomor
row 
Hi
m;ok
Me;
goodni
ghtboy
 
Hi
m;ni
ghtmommy
Il
eftOl
wethoandwentt ot
heotherbedroom.I
desper
atel
yneededtoputmyfeetup.Today
hadbeenanemot i
onalday
,andIjustneededt
o
sl
eep 
Igoti
ntobed, andfel
lasl
eepalmost
i
mmedi atel
y.Iwassor el
i
vedtof eel
mybaby
move.Atleastshewasn’taf
fectedbythi
s
wholecrazythingt
hatismyli
fe.

Wewokeupthefol
lowi
ngmorni
ngwit
h
Ol
wet
hojumpingupanddownonthebed.

Him;mommy
,mommywakeup.Daddyi
sin
here 
Me;
Olwet
hohaaman 
Hi
m;r
eal
l
ymommy
.Daddyi
sher
e 
Me;
wher
e
Hi
m;i
nthel
ounge
Igotupandl
ookedatOl
wet
howhowassmi
l
ing.

Me;
arey
ouser
ious?
Hi
m;y
esmommy
. 
Me;
Ok.I
’
llbet
her
enow 
Hi
m;ok

Hej umpedof fthebed, andIwenttothe

bathr oom tofreshenup.Thent ookamoment
tobr eathe.Ihadn’tevenhadbr eakf
astyet
,and
hewasal readyher eforround2.Nottomention
thef actthathej ustwalkedint
omyhot el
withoutper mission.

Iwalkedi
ntothel
oungeandfoundSi y
asitt
ing
ther
easthoughallwaswel
lwiththeworld.I
walkedpassedhi
mt oor
derbreakfast
.Then
wentt
osi
tnextt
ohi
m.I
fIwasgoi
ngt
ohav
eto

Me;
Mor
ning 
Hi
m;Hi
 
Me; Ol
wetho.Whydon’tyougoandwatchTVi
n
theroom youslepti
n.I
’
llcal
lyouwhen
breakf
astisready 
Hi
m;Okmommy

Olwethogotupandwentt
othebedr
oom,
whi
l
e
Istay
edwithSiy
a

Me;
sowhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e 
Him;Itol
dyouIwi
l
lhav
eaccesst
oyouandmy
chi
ldr
en 
Me;
soy oucameallt
hewayhereat6i
nthe
mor
ningtoannoyt
hehel
loutofme
Hi
m;wel
li
t’
sgoodt
oseey
ou’
rest
il
lsassyas
ev
er 
Me;
Siy
awhatdoy
ouwant
 
Hi
m;Iwantt
odi
scussy
ounotl
eav
ingme 
Me;welly
ouareoutofl
uckbuddy,
becauseI
am outt
hedoorandIam notl
ooki
ngback 
Hi
m;wel
l
.Yousee,
that
’swhyI
’
m her
e 
Me;
Iam l
ost
Hi
m;youarenotgoingt
oJHB.Youand
Ol
wethoarecominghome.Andwearegoi
ngt
o
wor
kthisout
 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;t
hisi
sn’
tupf
ordi
scussi
on.

ThelookinSi
ya’seyes,
andthewayhewas
chi
ll
edkindofscaredme.Hewasl ooki
ngsmug
ashell
,andhewaschewi nggum,whichis
neveragoodsign 
Me;
Iwon’
tlety
oui
nti
midat
eme
Him;
Idon’
tcar
e.Youar
ecomi
nghomenow,
andt
hat
’sf
inal
 
Me;
Iwont
 
Hi
m;i
nthatcasey
oul
eav
emenochoi
ce

Siy
aty
pedsomet
hingonhi
sphone,
andi
n
came4ofhi
sguar
ds. 
Me;
youcan’
tbeser
ious
Hi
m;doIl
ookl
i
keI
’
mjoki
ng 
Me;
Si
Him;y
ouknowwhatt
hepr
obl
em i
s?Ihav
e
beenwayt
ooni
ce.
 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Him;sowhatisi
t?Wi
l
lyouwal
k,orwi
l
lIdr
ag
yououtofher
e
Me;
youwoul
dn’
t 
Him;r
ightnowi
snotthet
imet
omesswi
thme.
Getmysonandlet
’sgo 
Me;
Siy
a…baby
…Pl
ease.Justt
ry 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.NOW

ThewaySi
yast
oodup,
mademel
eapupi
n
fear
. 
IrantoOlwetho’
sroom andlockedthedoor.
TherewasnowayIwasgoi ngtoletSiy
atake
mebackt othathouse.I
fIdid.Iwouldnev
erget
outofthi
smar ri
age.
Ol
wet
hol
ookedupatmener
vousl
y.

Hi
m;mommy
.What
’swr
ong 
Me;not
hingbaby
.Justwat
chTVwhi
l
emommy
makesacall

Hecont
inuedwat
chi
ng,
whi
l
eIshakenl
ytr
ied
cal
l
ingBoni

Si
yabangedont
hedoor
,andIst
eppedaway

Hi
m;Opent
hef
ucki
ngDoorRi
fi
loe 
ME;
Si.
.Si
Just
 
Hi
m; I
fIgeti
nther
ebef
orey
ouopen,
IswearI
wi
llf
ucki
nggomad

I
gnor
edSi
ya,
andwai
tedf
orBoni
toanswer

Her
;chummy
Me;Boni
.Ineedy
ourhel
p.Si
yahasl
osti
t.Hei
s
goi
ngtokil
lme 
Her
;Ri
fi
loe,
slowdown.Wher
ear
eyou 
Me;
I’
m att
heone&onl
yhot
elatt
hewat
erf
ront
 
Her
;we’
reonourway
 
Me;
hur
ryBoni
.Pl
ease

IdropedtheCal
landlookedataconf used
Olwetho.I
fSi
yawantedt ogetinhere,hewould.
IhadnochoicebuttoleaveOlwethoinhere,
andtrytocal
m Si
yadown

Me;Ol
wetho.WhenIgoout,Iwanty
outol
ock
t
hedoor.Donotopenunt
ilmommyt el
l
syout
o
Ok
Hi
m;Ok 
Me;
Gimmeaki
ss

Olwethostoodupandgav emeaki ss.ThenI

openedthedoorandcloseditbehi
ndme.
Thankful
l
yOl wet
holi
stenedandlockedit
i
mmedi atel
ywhenIsteppedout
Me;
Siy
ayouneedt
ocal
m down 
Hi
m;Cal
m down?Youaretr
yingtol
eaveme.
Howt
hehelldoy
ouexpectmet ocal
m down
Me;baby
.Canyoujustgett
heguar
dstol
eav
e.
Andwecandiscussthi
s.Pl
easeSi
ya
Him:Nothingt
odi
scuss.Youar
emywi
fe,
and
youwil
lstaybymysi
de.

Iwentbackandf
ort
hSiya,t
il
lihadnomore
ener
gyleft
.Si
yawasn'
tbudgi
ng,andthatt
rul
y
scar
edme.

Him:Rifi
loeyoupr
omi
sedmeforbett
eror
worse.Thisi
sthewor
se,
butwewill
getthr
ough
i
t.Weal waysdo

Iwant
edtoanswerSi
ya,
butt
henHl
okesbar
ged
i
nwithBoni
.
Si
yal
ookedatHlokest
henatmeand
i
mmediat
elycl
enchedhi
sfi
st

Hi
m:Bul
l
etgetouti
fher
e
Hl
okes:
dude.What
sgoi
ngon
Hi
m:Not
hingt
hatconcer
nsy
ou 
Hlokes:
Rif
il
oewoul
dn'
thav
ecal
l
edmef
or
nothi
ng

Siy
alookedatmeandi
fel
tshi
ver
sdownmy
spi
ne

Hi
m:soy
oucal
lyourext
ocomeandhel
pyou.
 
Me:
Siy
awhatdi
dyouexpectmet
odo?
Hi
m:soyouwer
etel
l
ingt
het
rut
haboutwant
ing
t
obewit
hhim
Me:
Isai
dnosucht
hing
Him:well
.Shamebecauset
her
eisnot
hinghe
cando.Youarest
ayi
nginCTandthat
sfinal

IlookedatHl
okesandhelookedatSi
yaas
thoughhewereagreei
ngwit
hhim.

Me:
Hlokesdosomet
hing
Hl
okes:
Fif
i,Si
yai
sri
ght
.It
sbesty
oust
ayi
nCT

Il
ookedatHl okesinshock.Hewast heonly
personithoughticouldtr
ust,andherehewas
now, t
urni
nghisbackonme.Howcoul dIev
er
beabletomov eonwhenSi y
awant edtocontr
ol
everyaspectofmyl i
fe.
[
05/
15,
15:
18]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

152
(
Cropt
opwr
it
tenwi
thl
ove)

Itri
edunderstandi
ngwhatwasgoi ngon, butno
onesaidany t
hing.Il
ookedatBoni ,andshe
l
ookedaspi ssedasSi y
awas.Ican' tbeli
eve
Siyawouldblatantl
ysaythatIsaidIwant
Hlokesback.Thiswasj ustoneexampl eofhow
self
ishhewas.Hehadnodi sr
egardforBoni's
feel
ings.Nxa

Me:soyou'
rebot
ht el
l
ingmet
hati
hav
eno
choi
cei
nanyofthis 
Hl
okes:
fornow.Yes
Me:
Siy
a,canIspeakt
oyoual
one 
Si
ya:
themi
nut
ewegethome
Me:Si
ya,pleasedon'
tmakemegobackther
e.
Pl
ease.Idon'twantt
oloset
hisbaby
.Andi
fIgo
backt
her
e,i
t'
sguar
ant
eedt
hatIwi
l
l 
Siy
a:Ri
fi
loe.Youar
ebei
ngdramat
ic.Justst
op
thi
schar
adeandlet'
sgohome

Itri
edev ery
thingIcouldtoconvinceSiyatolet
mego, buthewasn' tbudgi
ng.Hewasadamant
andi honestlywast otir
edtoconvincehim
otherwise.Myheadwaspoundi ngf r
om not
eati
ng,andi wasst arti
ngtofeelnauseous.The
bestthingtodowoul dbetogobackt ot
he
houseandhopef ort hebest
.

IknockedonOlwet
ho'
sdoorandt
oldhi
mto
openthedoor
. 
Heopenedandit
ookhi
shandandwal
kedout
wi
ththeguar
ds.

Theri
dehomewasshor
tandpai
nful
.Iwas
over
whel
medwit
htheevent
soft
hemor ni
ng,
andiwasdoingmybestnott
obur
sti
ntot
ear
s
i
nfrontofOl
wetho

Whenwegohome, Igooutthecar
,andwal
ked
Ol
wethotohi
sroom.Ibathedhime,t
henwewe
nohavebr
eakf
ast.

HlokesandSiy
awer eintheoff
ice,butBoni
,had
gonehome.Ihinkshewasupseaboutwhat
Si
y ahadsai
d,andijusthopedthAtshewould
gi
v emeachancetoexpl ai
n.

OlwethoandIhadbr
eakf
ast,t
henIleftHimt
o
pl
ayv i
deogamesinthel
oungewhileItr
iedt
o
contr
oltheex
tremeamountnausea 
Pil
ayont hebedfaceupandjustbreathed.I
hadn'
tfeltt
hebabymovesincelastnightand
wit
hallthedramaIhadinthelast24hrs,t
hat
ki
ndofwor ri
edme.
Imust
'v
edozedof
f,becauseIwaswokenup
Si
ya

Hi
m:weneedt
otal
k 
Me:
cany
out
akemet
othedoct
orf
ir
st?
 
Hi
m:why
 
Me:
I'
m notf
eel
i
ngwel
l
 
Hi
m:I
'
llgetbul
l
ett
ogi
vey
ouacheckup
Me:
I'
dpr
efert
oseemyGy
ne 
Him:Ri
fil
oe.I
'
dpr
eferf
ory
ounott
oleav
ethe
house 
Me:
Soy
ou'
regoi
ngt
okeepmel
ockedupher
e 
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
Canty
ouaskmyGy
net
ocomeher
e 
Hi
m:i
l
lseewhatIcando 
ME:
fine
Helef
tmeandideci
dedtogobacktosl
eep.
Myheadwaspoundi
ng,andmybackwasjust
ki
l
li
ngme.

Iopenedmyeyest
oanunusual
discomf
orti
n
myabdomen. 
Ibr
eathedinandout
,buti
tdi
dntst
op.I
nst
eadi
t
gotworse.
 
Ihel
dontothethesheet
sandhopedt
hewav
e
wouldpassbutitdi
dn'
t.

Iwant
edtogetupbutthepainwoul
dn'
tl
etme.I
di
dn'
thav
eachoice,buttocall
outf
orSi
ya

Heranint
other
oom,
andl
ookedatmei
n
di
sbel
ief
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe.What
'
swr
ong.
 
Me:
Idon'
tknow.Butt
hisdoesn'
tfeel
right
Hi
m:ohGod
Me;
Ineedt
ogett
oahospi
tal
 
Hi
m:y
ourdoct
ori
sonhi
sway
Me:
Siy
a.Thi
scan'
twai
t.

Hepull
edouthisphoneanddi al
ledthedoctor
.I
wasn'
tconser
ntrat
ingonhisconversat
ion,
buti
coul
dseethatwhatevert
hedoct orwassayi
ng
wasmakingSiyamadashel l,becausehekept
cl
enchi
nghisfi
sts.Andthatwasnev eragood
si
gn.

Si
yaputthecal
ldownandl
ookedatme
worr
yingl
y

Me:
Siy
a,don'
tj
ustl
ookatme.Wher
eist
he
doct
or 
Him:we'
regoi
ngt
ohav
etogety
out
oa
hospi
tal
 
Me:
Ifucki
ngsai
dthathal
fanhourago
Hi
m:cany
ougetup 
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nkso

SiyawAl
kedtowardsmeandscoopedmeupas
thouIweighednothi
ng.

Whenwearri
vedatthehospit
al,
Iwast
aken
di
rect
lyt
otheemergencyroom.

All
Irememberwasbei
nggi
venasedat
iveand
tol
dtorel
ax.

Iwassowor
ri
edaboutmybaby
,butal
lIpr
ayed
wasf orGodt oprotecther.TherewasnowayI
wouldbeabl etoliveifIlosther
.Sheismyl ight
attheendoft histunnel.Sheistheonlypositi
ve
thi
ngt hathappenedinmymar r
iage,
andi knew
thatl
osingherwoul dmeant heendofmyl i
fe.
[
05/
15,
15:
19]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

153

Wheni wokeupi wassti

lli
nhospit
al.Thef
ir
st
thi
ngIdidwascheckt oseethatmybabywas
ok,andthankf
ull
y,shewasstil
li
nmyt ummy .

Il
etoutasi
ghofr
eli
ef.Atl
easti
tlookedl
i
ke
Godwassti
lli
nmycorner

IsawSiyaoutofthecornerofmyey e.Hewas
onthephonewiththechief.Icoul
dtel
lthey
werespeakingaboutNaledi.Andimyheartj
ust
broke.Her
eIwasi nhospitalandal
lSi
yacared
aboutwasthisNaledigi
rl
.

Ilookedaway ,
asSi
y atur
nedar
ound,buti
twas
toolate.HeknewIhadbeenli
steni
ngtohis
conversati
on.Hewrappeduphi
scallandcame
tositnexttome

Hi
m:howy
ouf
eel
i
ng 
Me:
bet
ter
Hi
m:yougavemequit
eascar
e.It
houghtIhad
l
osty
outher
eforasecond

Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m.Ij
ustl
ookeddownand
pl
ayedwit
hmyf i
nger
s.

Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngt
ocal
lthedoct
orandl
ethi
m
knowt haty
ou'
reawake.Cani
ngety
ou
anyt
hing 
Me:
not
hing.I
'
m good 
Hi
m:ok

Helefthi
sphoneont hetableandwentout.I
l
ookedathi sphoneandfelttempt
edtogo
thr
oughit.Thereweresomanyt hi
ngsthatI
neededanswersforandi knewSiy
awoul dn'
tbe
honestwithme.

Ipi
ckeduphisphoneandthankf
ull
yhi
s
passwor
dwasst i
llt
hesame.Iwasaboutt
ogo
thr
oughhisemail
swhenacallcamein.

Thenumberwasafor
eignnumber
,soIj
ust
knewitwasNal
edi
Me:
Hel
l
o
Her
:(
sil
ence)
Me:
Hel
l
oisany
onet
her
e 
Her
:yes.HI
 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Her;
Ahmmm.Isi
tpossi
blef
ormet
ospeakt
o
Si
yabonga 
Me:
(si
l
ence)
Her
:cany
ouhearme 
Me;
whoam It
alki
ngt
o
Her
:mynamei
sNal
edi
Me:
Isee
Her:I
'
m sor
ry.I
'
llphonebackwhenhe'
s
avai
l
able

Sheputthecal
ldown,
andi
wipedawaya
tear
,f
rom myeye.
Si
ncehear
ingaboutNal
edi,
Ithadal
lfel
tli
kea
dr
eam,buthear
ingherv
oicejadei
tareal
it
y.

IlookedthroughSiyasphotosandmostof
them wereofMeandOl wetho.ButthenIfound
oneofal adyIdidn'
tknowof ,andIjustknewit
washer .Shewast hebeautif
ulvol
uptuous
womanwhohadcapt uredSiyasheart.

IputdownSiy
asphone.Andtr
iedgoi
ngbackto
sl
eep,butt
henSi
yawalkedinwit
hthedoct
or.
 
Igavehim hi
sphoneandhelookedatme
questi
onably,
butIdi
dn'
tsayanyt
hing.Ij
ust
l
ookedatt hedoct
orandwait
edforan
expl
anati
onf r
om hi
m.

Hi
m: Mr
sNdhl
ovu.Youhav
ebeenveryver
ybad.
Whatdi
dwesayaboutt
aki
ngt
hingseasy
Il
ookedatMydoct
orandhel
ookeddead
ser
ious

Me:
it'
sbeenar
oughcoupl
eofday
s 
Him:Icanseethat
.Wel
lI'
vegotgoodnewsand
badnews.Whichnewswouldyouli
ketohear
fi
rst
?
Me:
;
thebad 
Him:well
,thebadnewsist
haty
ouhav
e
devel
opedpre-ecl
ampsi
a 
Me:
prewhat
Him: Pr e-ecl
ampsia.It
'saconditi
ont hatis
dev elopedbysomewomani nt heirlast
tri
mest er.It'
scausedbyal otofdi ff
er entt
hings,
buti ny ourcaseduet ostr
ess,whi chl eadto
highbl oodpr essur
e,whichthenr esultsinpre-
eclampsi a.Whi chisn'
tgoodf oreithery ouor
thebaby  
Me:
ist
her
etr
eat
mentf
ori
t
Him:wellthegoodnewsi sthatwecaughtt hi
s
earl
y.Yourkidneyshaven'
tbeenaffectedasy et
,
andwewer eabletodoabloodtransfusion,
to
hel
py ouout
Me:
ismybabyok 
Hi
m:she'
sfi
ne.Buti
fyoucar
ryont
hisway
,she
won'
tbe.
Me:
il
ktr
ybemor
ecar
eful
Him:I
'
m notleav
ingthatuptoyou.Youare
goi
ngtostayheref
oratleasta2weeks.Ineed
tomonit
oryouandthebabyv er
yclosel
y

Si
yal
ookedatt
hedoct
orandt
henatme

Hi
m:2weeks?
 
Doc:
yes
Hi
m:Ican'
thav
eherher
efor2weeks
Doc:wel
li
t'
seit
hert
hatory
oul
ett
hem di
e.
Whichonewil
li
tbe 
Him:isther
eanywaywecoul
dset
-upev
ery
thi
ng
atthehouse. 
Doc:wecould.Butt
hecost sofall
,thethi
ngs
weneedwoul dbethroughtheroof.Ican'
t
t
ranspor
therbackandf orthfr
om thehouseto
t
hehospital
,ever
ytimei needtoconductatest
Him:moneyisn'
tanissue.Whenwi
l
lyoube
abl
etogetthi
ssorted 
Doc:
giv
emeaf
ewday
s 
Hi
m:y
ouhav
e24hr
s

TheDoctorshookhi
shead,andlef
tus.He
obvi
ousl
yknewnottoarguewithSiya.

Hi
m:whatwer
eyoudoi
ngwi
thmyphone 
Me:
Ianswer
edacal
lfr
om y
ourwi
fe 
Hi
m:YOUar
emywi
fe 
Me:andyetYOUar ei
nlov
ewi t
hanot
her
womanNott hatIbl
ameyou.Shei
squit
e
beaut
if
ul 
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:
sav
eit
.Isawherpi
ctur
eony
ourphone.
 
Hi
m:i
t'
snotwhaty
out
hink
Me;doesn'
tmatt
er.Youaregoingt
omar
ryher
,
andihavenosayinitwhatsoever
. 
Hi
m:canwenotdothi
snow.Youhear
dwhat
t
hedoct
orsai
daboutst
ress 
Me:
ohsonowy
oucar
e 
Hi
m:I
'
veal
way
scar
ed
Me:
wel
l
,you'
vegotashi
tt
ywayofshowi
ngi
t
Hi
m:buti
tdoesn'
tmeant
hatIdon'
tl
ovey
ou 
Me:
lov
e?Idon'
tthi
nky
ouknowt
hemeani
ngof
t
hat
Si
yawasaboutt
osaysomethi
ng,butt
henhis
phoner
ang.Hel
ookedatt
hecall
erIDandt
hen
atme

Me:
goahead.Youknowy
ouwantt
otal
ktoher
Hi
m cany
oust
opbei
ngsoDamnchi
l
dish
Me;
howaboutyoustopbei
ngsuchadick,t
hen
may
be.JustmaybeIcanst
artbei
ngchi
ldi
sh 
Hi
m;mxm 
Me;
youshoul
dleav
e 
Him:Iwi
l
l.Butdon'
tthi
nkthaty
oucanr
unaway
.
Ihav
eguardsoutsi
deyourdoor.
 
ME:Iwoul
dn'texpectany
thi
ngl
essf
rom
someonel
ikeyou 
Him:youbetterstar
tgett
ingusedt ot
hei
dea,
becausethereisnothi
ngy oucandoabouti
t.So
stoptr
yingtofi
ghtmeev er ychancey
ouget
,
andl
ookaf
termybaby

Siyalef
t,andiletoutasighofr el
ief
.Iwasso
ti
redoffight
ingwi t
hhim, andijustdidn'
tknow
howt ogetoutoft hi
ssit
uat i
on.Siyawasnot
backingoutandi don'
tknowi fIhav ethe
strengt
ht of
ighthim
[
05/
15,
15:
19]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

154

Soonaft
erSiy
al ef
t,Hl
okeswalkedi
nwitha
bunchoffl
owers,agif
tbasketand2getwel
l
soonbal
loons

Hi
m:Heyy
ou
Me:
Hey
Him:Iboughty
ouaf
ewt
hingst
obr
ight
enup
yourr
oom 
Me:
Thanky
ou
Hi
m:y
oul
ookv
erypal
e
Me:
whyt
hanky
ouf
orpoi
nti
ngoutt
heobv
ious 
Him:evenaspal
easy
ouar
e,y
ouar
est
il
l
beaut
if
ul 
Me:
thanky
ou

Hl
okesputdownal
lmyt
hingsandsatnextt
o
me.

Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng 
Me:
I'
mfi
ne 
Him:Ri
fil
oeyouneedtost
arttaki
ngbett
ercar
e
ofyour
self
.All
thi
sstr
essi
sn'tgoodforyouor
fort
hebaby
Me:
IknowHl
okes
Him:Don'tfighthi m.Iknowi t
'shar d,butyou
fi
ghti
nghi mi sn'tgoingtohelpwi t
hany t
hing.I
knowi tdoesn' tl
ookl i
keitbuther eall
ydoes
l
ovey ou.It'
sjustt hatamanl ikehim, orshouldI
saymenl ikeus, struggletodiff
erentiat
e
betweenourr eall
ifeandourOpsl ife
Me: wellyouseem t
obedoi
ngjustf
ine.Bonii
s
alwayshappyandsheneverhastodealwit
h
theshitIgothrough
Him: Ri
fi
loe,y
ouaremarri
edtoapowerful
man.
Hebasicallyr
unsthi
scountr
y.Hehasti
eswith
themostpower f
ulmenintheworld.Amanli
ke
Siyahaspowerinhisbl
ood.It
'st
heonethi
ng
thatdri
veshim. 
Me:soy
ou'ret
ell
i
ngmeIshoul
djustl
ethi
m do
ashepl
eases
Him:no.I
'mjustsay
ingthathehasmessedup.
Bigti
me,buthedoesn'
tmeant o.Hehasalot
goingonatthemoment.Hisharshnessi
sn'
t
exact
lyai
medaty
ou
Me:t
hat'
shar
dtobeli
eve,
sinceI
'
m ont
he
r
ecei
vi
ngendofthi
s 
Him: Rifil
oelSiyahasnev erbeeni nt hisplace
before.Hehasnev erhadar el
ationshi pthat
l
astedl ikethis.Heknewal lLindawant edwas
money .Hiswor kbecamehi sev erything.The
womani nhislif
ewer eal l j
ustforpassi ngti
me.
Hehasnev erlovedunt i
l hemety ou, andi know.
Iknowhehadahor r
iblewayofshowi ngy ou,
buty ouneedt ounder standt hathei ssacr ed.
Hei sscar edofl osi
ngy ou.Hei sscar edtonot
makehi sLesot hodeal happen.Al otofpeopl e.
Event hepr esidentneedt histohappen.I twil
l
belikebr ingi
ng2count riest ogether. 
Me:
sohesenty
ouher
eospeakonhi
sbehal
f 
Hi
m:no,butil
i
v ebothofyou.Andi
knowt
hat
t
hisi
sn'
teasyforei
therofyou.
Me:
hel
ovesherHl
okes(
sni
ff
) 
Him;Sheisnew.Hedoesn'
tknowherf
laws.He
doesn'
twakeupnexttoher
.Heisi
nfat
uated.
.
notinl
ove 
Me:
Idon'
tknowHl
okes.Thi
sisj
ustt
oomuch
Him:I'
m notsayi
ngyoushoul
dstay.Butj
ustt
ry
tobepati
ent.I
forehisout
bur
sts.I
gnore
ever
ythi
ng.Consernt
rat
eonyourbaby.
 
Me:howhloke?WhenI'm goi
ngt
obemadet
o
wat
chhim marryanot
herwoman
Him:IwishIcoul
dsayt
hiswasgoi
ngt
obe
easybutI'
dbelyi
ng.
 
Me:Iwantadivor
ceHlokes.Iwantt
oli
vemy
l
if
ewithouthi
m.Iwanttojustbehappy
Him:Rifi
l
oe,Siy
ai sn'
tgoingtogiveyoua
div
orce.I
tdoesn'tmatterwhoy outal
kto.Heis
knownev er
ywhere.Myadv icewouldbetocalm
down.Ignorehi
m.Gi vehimt i
met ofi
guret
his
out.Maybeinafewmot hsoncethingshave
Seatt
le'
sandtheLesot hodealhashappened.
Youcanreassesshowyouf eel
,thenbothof
youcandiscussi
t.Butr
ightnow, t
hati
sn't
goi
ngtohappen. 
Me;Ishouldn'
thavemarri
edhim, Ishould'
ve
f
orgi
veny ou.Him:don'
tsaythatRifi
loe.Ihav
e
myowndemonst hatIfi
ghteveryday
Me: yes,butwewoul
d'v
emadeitwor
k.Ist
eadI
fel
lforthismonst
erofaman,
andnowIam
payi
ngf oritev
ery
day
Hi
m: Pl
ease.Pl
easedon'
teverr
epeatthose
wordagai
n.Rif
il
oeIam aman,andmyf i
rst
i
nsti
ncti
stoactonthosewordsespecial
ly
si
nceIsti
l
lcareabouty
ousomuch
Me:
may
bei
nanot
herl
i
fe 
Him;maybe.Butfornowwebothst
ickt
oour
part
ner
sadt rytomakeitwor
k 
Me:
howi
sBoni
Him:pi
ssed.Ihadn'
texact
lyt
oldheraboutour
past
Me:
whatdoy
oumean
Hi
m: shedidn'
tknowthatweweremarri
ed.She
di
dn'tknowaboutanyt
hing.Shej
ustt
houghtwe
werefri
endsfr
om backhome
Me:
whydi
dty
out
ell
hert
het
rut
h
Hi
m: t
hesamereasonSiyadi
dn'tt
elly
ouabout
Nal
edi
.Idi
dn'
twanttoloseherbecauseofy
ou
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:It
snoty
ourf
aul
tthatf
atehadot
herpl
ans
f
orus

Hlokesstayedwi t
hmef orafewhours.Itfel
t
goodtospeakt osomeoneaboutevery
thing.I
fel
tbadt houghbecauseheshould'
vespentt hi
s
ti
mef i
xi
ngt hingswit
hBoni,inst
eadofbeing
herewit
hme.Butatt hesamet i
meIdidn'thave
thehearttoaskhimt oleav
e.
Whenhef inall
ylef
t,Ifeltabitl
ight
er.Ist
il
lhell
bentonleavingSiya,butIknewt hatIwould
needtogivehimt i
met ocalm down.Lethim do
ashepleasesandhopef ull
ymakehi m seethat
thi
smarriagehasnochanceofsur vi
val

MyDoct orcheckedonmeev er
yhour,
and
unf
ort
unat el
ymybl oodpr
essur
ewasst i
l
lhi
gh.
I
twasn'tasbadaswhent heyboughtmein,
but
i
twasst il
lpr
ettymuchbad.

Iwasgiv
enanot heri
nject
iontohel
pmesl eep.
Thedoctorsai
dt hemoresleep,
thebet
teriti
s
fort
hebaby,andmy self

WhenIwokeupi twasalreadythefoll
owingday .
Iwasf eel
i
ngmuchmor erelaxedandal otless
nauseous.It
hinkthetal
kwi thHlokeshelped.
Rightnowallt
hatmatteredwasmybundl eof
j
oy,
andnoone.Notev
enSi
yawasgoi
ngt
orui
n
myexci
tement
.

Ihadbreakfastandmydoctorcametogi ceme
acheckup.Hewashappywi t
hthewaymy
bloodpressurewasdroppi
ng.Hegavememy
meds,andt ol
dmehewoul dbesetti
ngupatt he
house,sohewoul donl
yseemel at
erthatday
.

Thenur sesletmet akeashower ,andt hengot

backIt obed.Theni cet hi
ngaboutbei ngi nthe
hospitalwast hateverytimethedoct ordi da
checkup, hewoul ddoanul tr
asound,andi got
toseemybaby .Shelookedsopeacef ul,astho
obli
vioustot heeventshappeni nginther eal
world.Imadet hedoctorprintoutevery
ult
rasoundt heydid.Someoft hem shewas
suckingherf i
nger.Theot hershewassl eeping,
anothershewassmi l
ing,andthatalonemade
feelbetter
.
Siy
aar r
ivedj
ustastheyweredoingan
ul
trasound.Hesmil
edandsatnextt ome.As
before,
Imadethenurseprintoutt
hepict
ure,
andputItwitht
heothers.

Thenur
secl
eanedmeup,
thel
eftSi
yaandIIan
awkwar
dspace.

Hi
m:Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng 
Me:
Bet
ter
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbet
ter
. 
Me:HowsOl
wet
ho?It
houghty
ouwoul
dbr
ing
Hi
m
Hi
m:If
lewhi
m downt
oKI
Nlastni
ght
Me:i
twoul
d'
vebeenni
cei
fyouhaddi
scussed
t
hatwit
hme 
Hi
m:Youcanseehi
m wheny
ougodownt
o
KZN

Iwantedtoargue,
butt hendecidedagainstit
.
Olwethowasprobablyhappytobeseehi sgogo,
andididn'
twanttoraisemybl oodpressure.So
i
nsteadItooktheremot e,
andputont heTV

Him;sot
hedoct
orandhist
eam ar
ebusy
set
ti
ngupathomeme:that
'sni
ce 
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dbehomebyt
oni
ght
Me:
ok
Hi
m:canIgety
ouany
thi
ng 
Me:
alapt
op.Ineedt
oor
deraf
ewmor
ethi
ngs
f
ort
hebaby
Hi
m:yourot
herorderarr
ivedy
est
erday
.Iput
ev
ery
thi
ngtoget
herlastni
ght 
Me:y
ouputi
ttoget
herordi
dyouhav
ethest
aff
doi
t
Hi
m:Idi
d 
Me:
mhmm 
Hi
m:I
fbeent
hinki
ngofnames 
Me:
and 
Hi
m:Khany
isi
l
eLesedi
Ndhl
ovu 
Me:
Khany
isi
l
il
e af
terhourmot
her
?
Hi
m:y
es,
andLesedi
wast
henamey
ouwant
ed 
Me:
it'
sper
fect
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
oul
i
kei
t
Me:
Ido
Him:babyI'
m sor
ryforal
loft
his.Thi
ngswer
e
nevermeanttogett
hisbad
Me: Siya, Idon'twantt
otalkaboutt hi
s.Ijust
wantt ot akecar eofmybaby .Youar enota
prior
it
yr ightnow, shei
s,andt hat'
sallIcare
about.Youcangoanddowhatmakesy ou
happy.Igi veyoumyblessingt omar r
yNal edi
.
Pleasej ustletmebe.Iwillli
vei nt
hesame
house,Iwi
ll
mindmyownbusiness.Iwantmy
babytobeheal
thy.Whi
chmeansnomor e
str
essas.Sostopapol
ogi
zi
ngandliveyourl
i
fe.

Siyadi
dn'tsayanythi
ng.Hedidn'
texpectmet o
giv
ein,butli
ttl
edidheknowt hatIwasn'tgi
vi
ng
i
n.Iwasj ustst
art
ingtoplaychess,andonceI
hadhim whereIwantedhim, Iwoul
dpul lt
he
rugupfrom underhim andhewouldn'tknow
whathithim.
[
05/
15,
15:
20]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

155

AsSiyahadsaid.Iwastransferr
edthatveryday
,
backtothehouse.Theyhadt otal
lytr
ansfor
med
themainbedroom,int
oasemi hospit
alroom.
Mydoctorwouldbechecki nginonmeev er
y
day,whi
leIhadalive-
innursebyt henameof
Mar
ia.
 
SiyawasinLesothoformyfir
stnighthome,
andthatkindofhur
t,butIr
efusedtolett
hatget
tome.Myj obwast omakesurethatIgotthi
s
bloodpressur
elowerthani
tis.

Al otofthethi
ngsthatHlokeshadsai
dhad
reall
yresonatedwi
thme.Ther ewasnouse
fi
ght i
ngSiya.I
t’
sbettert
ojustl
ethi
m doashe
pleases,andformet odome.

Thefoll
owingmor ni
ng, Iwokeupandwentt o
takeabath.Siyahadl eftstri
ctinstr
uctionsthat
Iwasnottogetoutofbed, buttherewasno
wayIwasl i
steningtot hat.Ineededani ce
bubbl
ebat handIwasnotgoi ngt oletSiyastop
mef r
om havingt hat
.Especi al
lysincehewasal l
thewayinfli
ppingLesot ho.Nxa
Aft
ermybat h,
Iputonmytr
ackpant
sanda
spaghet
tit
opandwenttohavebr
eakf
ast
.
Iwashopi ngt
owalkar oundt hegar den,butI
wast ol
dtogetbackintobed.Iwant edt oargue,
butthenIheardSi
ya’
sv oicecomi ngfrom the
ki
tchen,andIdeci
dedagai nstit.Thel astt
hingI
wantorneedistohav et oar guewi t
hhi mf or
wantingfr
eshair
. 
Hewal kedint
othediningroom, l
ooki
ngso
happy.Ihonestl
yresentedSiya,
forcont
inui
ng
todisr
espectmet hewayt hathewas.

Hi
m;Mor
ningbaby
 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m;Si
gh
Iputdownmygl assandwentuptomyr oom.
EverytimeIsawSiya,
Ifel
tmyheartbreak,
especiall
ysi
nceIknewthathehadjustspent
thenightwit
hNaledi
Iwentt
omyr oom andgotintobed.Iknewhe
wasfol
lowi
ngme, butIr
efusedtoacknowledge
hi
m.

Hi
m;soy
ouar
egoi
ngt
oignor
eme 
Me;
HiSi
ya 
Hi
m;howwasy
ourni
ght
 
Me;
finet
hanks 
Hi
m;I
’
m gl
ad 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m; Iknowy ouar
epr
obabl
ymadt
hatIhadt
o
gotoLesotho,But
 
Me; Si
y a,
Idon’twanttoknowanyt
hingabout
Lesotho,orNaledi
.Youdidn’
tseefi
tforyout
o
tel
lmeaboutt hisbefor
e.SoIdon’
tseethe
needf oryoutotel
lmeaboutitnow. 
Hi
m;doy
oual
way
shav
etobesodamn
i
mmat
ure?I
’
mtr
yingt
omaket
hisr
ight
Me;reall
y?Welli
fyouwant
edtomaket
hings
r
ight
, y
ouwould’vetol
dmeyouwer
espending
t
henightwithher 
Him;Ididn’
tandhav en’tsl
eptwit
hher.Andsure
ashelldon’
tplanondoi ngso.Ifyoucoul
djust
l
etmeexpl ai
nt hi
stoy ou,thenmaybe,j
ust
maybey ouwoul dunderstand 
Me;Explai
nwhat ?Thatt
hemanIl oveisinl
ove
wit
hsomeoneel se?Anddon’ tbotherdenyi
ngit
,
becauseit
swr i
tt
enalloveryourface.Iseeit
whenshecallsyou.Howy ouli
ghtup.Ithur
ts
met othecoreSiya,
andy oujustfai
lto
underst
andthat 
Hi
m;t
ell
mewhatIcandot
omaket
hisr
ight
 
Me;nothing.Ther
ei snothi
nginthisworl
dthat
canmaket hisri
ght.Ourmar r
iageisdest
roy
ed
andthereisnothi
ngl ef
tthateit
herofuscando
tofi
xit.Sowhybot her
Hi
m;wecanatl
eastt
ryRi
fi
loe.Pl
ease 
Me;I’
m noti
nter
est
edi
ntry
ing.Youmadeyour
deci
si
onandnowwebot hhavetoli
vewi
thi
t 
Hi
m;I’
m notl
osi
ngy
ouRi
fi
loe.Notnownot
ev
er 
Me;
mhmm

Siy
a’sphonebeepedandIsawhi
mlookatme
uncomfort
abl
y

Hi
m;Shi
t 
Me;
whati
sit
 
Hi
m;f
uck 
Me;
Siy
a??
???
Hi
m;Ineedyoutot
rustandbel
i
eveIhadno
i
deaaboutt
his 
Me;
aboutwhat
 
Hi
m;OhGod 
Me;
Siy,stoppasi
ngt
her
oom.You’
remaki
ng
mediz
zy  
Hi
m;Myuncl
ehasj
ustar
ri
veddownst
air
s 
Me;
and 
Hi
m;andHe’
snotexact
lyal
one 
Me;
whoi
shewi
th

Si
yal
ockedourdoor
,andsatont
hebedf
aci
ng
me

Him;Rifi
loe.Please.Iam beggingyou.Ihad
nothi
ngt odowi ththis.Iwoul
dnev erdothisto
you.PleaseIneedy out obeli
eveinme.Iknow
I’
vebeenani diotforthepastcoupleofday s,
andIrealisethat.WhichiswhyIwentt o
Lesotho.Justpromi semey ouwon’ tov
erreact
tothi
s.Please 
Me;
Siy
ayouar
en’
tmaki
ngsense 
Him;Ri
fi
loe.Il
ovey
ou.Iknowbaby .IknowI
haveashit
tywayofshowingi
t,butit
’sthet
rut
h 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m; Myuncl
ei sdownst
air
s,andt
heguar
ds
j
ustt
oldmet hathe’
snotal
one.Hecamewit
h
Nal
ediandsomeofherfamily 
Me;
Lor
dhel
pme.Lor
dhel
pme
Hi
m;Baby
 
Me;
getawayf
rom me

Him;Rifi
l
oe.Pl ease.Ihadnothi
ngtodowi th
thi
s.Iswear.Iwentt oLesothotocancelthi
s
wholething.IsawwhatIwasdoi ngt
oy ou
Rif
il
oe,andIj ustcouldn’
tgothr
oughwi t
hi t
. 
Me;
Ican’
tkeepdoi
ngt
hisSi
ya 
Hi
m; Iknowbaby.AndIj
ustneedy
out
opl
ease.
Pl
easeremaincalm
Me;
andi
t’
saboutt
imey
ouf
ucki
ngmanup 
Hi
m;baby
 
Me; no.Youhav eal
lowedt hi
sstupi
duncleof
yourstodoashepl easesi nourhome.Idon’t
knowwhot heheadoft hi
shouseholdis.
Becauser i
ghtnowthatmanhasy oubyt he
fuckingbal
ls,andquit
ef r
anklyi
t’
sdisgusti
ngto
l
ookat  
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
ofi
xthi
s
Me;
mhmm

Siy
agotup,andwentdownst air
s,whileIstay
ed
i
nourr oom.Ineededtocal
m downbef or
e
goingdowntherebecauseIhadjusthad
enough.Howcouldthisman,lethisfamil
ywal k
al
loverusasthoughwewer enot hi
ng. 
Ihadhonest
lyj
usthadenoughandnowitwas
ti
metotoughenup.Idi
dn’
tcareaboutmy
marri
ageanymore,
butIsureashel
lwasn’
t
goingtolaydownandwal kaway.I
fthey
wantedaf i
ght,Iwasgoi
ngtogiv
et hem one
thattheywouldn’
tfor
get
.

Igotupandmadeaprayer.Ical
leduponGod
forpr
otect
iononmybaby.Ineededhertobe
safeaboveall
. 
OnceIsai
damen,Ifeltl
i
keal
oadhadbeen
l
if
tedoffmyshoul
ders.Nowi
twasti
metogo
downst
air
s.

Ifi
rst
lychangedintoadress,andputonadoek.
Iputonsomemakeupt ohidemybags,t
hen
putonmyr ingbeforeIwalkeddown.

IfoundSiyaandhisuncl
eseatedatt
hedining
room tabl
ewithpeopl
eIguessedwereNaledi
’s
uncles.
 
Judgi
ngbyt
het
ensi
oni
nther
oom,
Icoul
dtel
l
t
hatt
hingswer
en’
tgoi
ngt
oowel
l
.

Igr
eetedevery
one,t
henwal
kedt
othel
ounge,
whereNaledi
was. 
Il
ookedatherandshel ookedupatme.My
fi
rstinsti
nctwastofuckingjumponher ,butI
decidedtoratherki
l
lher( j
ustj
oking)Isi
mply
greetedher,andwenttot heki
tchentoget
my selfabottl
eofwater.
 
IhavenoideawhenSiy
awalkedin,
butwhenI
tur
nedaround,
Siyawasst
andingbehi
ndme

Hi
m;Youl
ookgood 
Me;
thanky
ou
Hi
m;I
’
m sor
ryaboutal
loft
his 
Me;
Idon’
tseewhy
.Thi
siswhaty
ouwant
ed 
Hi
m;(
sigh)
 
Me;
excuseme
Hi
m;Myuncl
ewant
stospeakt
oyou 
Me;
noti
nter
est
ed 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loepl
ease 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;baby
.Pl
ease
Me;
fine 
Irol
ledmyey es,andwalkedintothedining
room withmyheadhel dup.Iwasn’tgoingto
l
ayt hesweethumbl eBarbi
ewi f
e.Thatshitwas
over.Iam thesamegi rlwhohassatata
boardroom tableandnegotiatedonmanagi ng
mill
ionsandmi l
l
ionsofRands.Irefusedt obe
i
ntimidatedbyamanwhot hinksheis
everyt
hingjustbecausehei sachief.

Isatnextt
oSi
yaanddi
dn’
tboworanyt
hing.I
j
ustsatdownandl
ookedathi
suncl
edeadin
theeye
Me;
Mal
ume,
youwant
edt
oseeme 
Hi
m;Ihearyouconvi
ncedSi
yabongatocancel
t
henegoti
ati
onswit
hNaledi
’
sfamily
 
Me;Sor
ryMalumeIam conf
used.It
houghty
ou
wer
eheretoapol
ogi
ze 
Hi
m;Apol
ogi
ze 
Me;
yes.Apol
ogi
ze 
Hi
m;andwhywoul
dIbeapol
ogi
zi
ngt
oyou
Me;well
,If
igur
edaft
erthelastt
imeyouwerein
MYhouse,andthewayy ouspoket
ome, you
wouldseehowabsol
utelyoutofpl
aceyou
were 
Him;Idonotint
entofapol
ogizi
ngf orany
thi
ng.
Iam Si
yabonga’
suncle,
andIam hel pi
nghim do
whatisri
ght.Di
dyouhonestl
ythinkour
ancest
orswouldal
lowhimtomar r
ya
commoner ?
Me; Wel
l.Letmetell
yousomet hingaboutus
commoner s.Wearenotthetypeofwoman
whoaredoormat s.I
fyouthi
nkt hatforon
secondyouaregoingtodisr
espectmei nmy
houseagain,t
henyouhaveanot hert
hing
coming

Siyahel
dontomyhandasawayofcalmingme
down,butl
ordknowsIwasal
readyon100and
therewasnostoppi
ngmenow

Me;justbytheway,Siyabongawi l
lnotbe
marryi
ngNal edi
,wi
thoutmyper mission.Hecan
dothatoncewear edivorced,butfortheti
me
bei
ngt her
ewi l
lbenoweddi ng.Andi fyouthi
nk
ofgoingforwardwit
hit,Iwil
lcomedownon
youli
keat onofbri
cks. 
Hi
m;Howdar
eyou 
Me;
no.Howdar
eyou.Youhav
enor
ightt
odo
asyoupl ease.Especi
all
ysi
nceinorderforSi
ya
andNal editobewedhewoul dneedmy
permission,bot
hlegall
yandtr
adit
ional
ly
.And
somehowy oujustconveni
ent
lyf
orgotabout
that

Siyaandt hechi efbot hlookedatmeshocked.I

knewt hatt heywer en’texpect i
ngmet oknowall
ofthis, butatl eastnowt heyknewt hatIwas
donewi ththei rbull
shit.I
ft heywantedmet obe
abot ch, thenIwasgoi ngtogi vet
hem bitchon
steroids.Gonewast heRi f
iloewhocriedher
l
ungsout .AllIwant ednowwasadi vorceandI
planont akinghal fofev erythi
ngSiyaowns.I
havehadt oendur eenoughandnowIwas
readyf orpay back.
[
05/
15,
15:
21]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

156
Ilef
tSi
yaandHi
scr
azypeopl
eandwentback
tomyroom. 
Ihadmadei tcl
eart
oSiy
at hatIwantedthose
peopl
eoutmyhouse.Iftheyneededto
negoti
ate,
theycoul
ddothatathisfamil
yhome
i
nKZN.Iwoul dnotbedi
srespectedatanyof
thehousesthatweOWN.
Igotupstair
s,changedi
ntomyt r
ackpants
agai
n, andgotontobed.Mari
agav emesome
pi
ll
s,andIsleptli
keababythroughoutt
he
morning. 
Bythet
imeIwokeupi twasafter2pm,andSiya
wasinhi
sof f
icescreami nghislungsout
.I
coul
dhearhim all
thewayf r
om ourroom and
hewasobviouslypissed. 
Ismil
edabi t
,becauseIknewhewaspr obably
real
l
yt i
ckedoffatme,buthel
l.Icoul
dcar eless.
Igoupandwentdownst airst
ogetsomet hi
ng
toeat.Iwasinthemoodf oranicefr
uitsalad,
andqui
tef
rankl
yIwasont
opoft
hewor
ld.
 
Af
terhavi
ngmyfrui
tsal
ad,Isatonthecouch
wi
thmylaptopandl
ookedforphotogr
apher.I
wantedt
oorgani
seapregnancyshoot.
Ideal
l
y,Iwould’
velovedtohav ethephotoshoot
outsi
deofthehouse, butknowingSiyahe
wouldhuffandpuff.SoIdecidedtoratherhave
i
tinthegarden.ThatwaySi yawouldn’
tgocr azy
,
andIwouldgettohav emypi cs.

Ibookedt hephotogr
apher
,andt
hemakeup
art
ist,al
lIneedednowwasacoupleofdesi
gner
outfi
ts. 
Iwasusuall
yreal
l
ycar
efulwit
hthewayIspent
money,butnowIwasoverit
.Idi
dn’
treal
l
y
car
e. 
Ical
l
edoneofmydesi gner
s,andaskedthem t
o
getacoupl
eofoutf
it
sf orme.Igavehi
m afew
i
deas,t
henwentupstair
stodiscusst
heshoot
wit
hSi y
a.Ineededhimtogivemydesigner,
photographerandmakeuparti
stasecur
it
ypass,
si
nceIwasbasi cal
lyapri
sonerinmyown
house.

Iwalkedintohi
sof f
ice,andhedi
dn’tbot
her
evenlookingup.Icouldseehewasmad, buthe
wasshitoutofluck,sinceIdi
dn’
tcare.

Him;Howmanyt
imesdoIneedt
otel
lyout
o
knock 
Me;
asmanyt
imesasy
ouneedt
o 
Hi
m;whatcanIdof
ory
ouRi
fi
loe 
Me;well
,Ineedsecur
it
ycl
ear
ancef
oracoupl
e
ofpeopl
e 
Hi
m;who
Me;myphot
ogr
apher
,makeupar
ti
standmy
desi
gner
 
Hi
m;y
ouhav
eadesi
gner
 
Me;
yes.Ido 
Hi
m;whyar
ethesepeopl
ecomi
ngher
e 
Me;
Iam doi
ngamat
erni
tyshoot
 
Hi
m;am Ii
nvi
ted 
Me;
No 
Hi
m;haw,
Rif
il
oe
Me;
haaSi
ya.Idon’
twanty
out
her
e 
Hi
m; butwhati
fonedayyoushowyourpi
ctur
es
t
oourchild,
andsheasksyouwher
eIwas.
Whatwouldyoutel
lher
? 
Me;
thathewasawhor
eandIdi
dn’
twanthi
min
t
heshoot 
Hi
m;Idon’
tknowwhet
hert
osl
apy
ouorl
augh 
Me;
trysl
appi
ngme,
andIwi
l
lcuty
ourbal
l
sof
f 
Hi
m;Imi
ssedy
ourf
eist
iness 
Me;
sot
hecl
ear
ance 
Hi
m;I
llgi
vey
oucl
ear
anceononecont
it
ion 
Me;
What
 
Hi
m;Icanj
oiny
ou 
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;done 
Me;
ber
eady
.Tomor
rowat12
Hi
m;t
hatsoon 
Me;
yes
Hi
m;f
ine

Iwalkedoutandwentupst ai
rs.Andst ay
ed
therefort
heremainderofmyday .Si
yawasa
grouchasusual,
andkeptchecki nguponme
butallIdi
dwassleepthroughoutt heday.

Thefol
l
owingmor
ningwasthemorni
ngofthe
phot
oshoot
.Si
yawasser
iousaboutj
oini
ngme,
andwel lIj
ustl
ethi
m be.Therewasnouse
arguingwit
hhim.Anywayhei sLesedi
’
sf ather
afteral
l,
andIwouldjusthavetoli
vewiththat.
 
Itooktonsofpi
ctures,
from el
egantones,to
casualones,
andev enacoupleofhalf
-naked
onesnakedones.Siyawasn’ttoopl
easedabout
those,
buthejustletmebe. 
Aft
erthephot oshoot,
Siyamademegost raight
tobed,becauseappar entl
yIhadwor nmy self
outwit
ht heupsanddownoft heday .Ididn’t
qui
teneedt hequiteti
me, butIdecidedt ousei t
tol
ookf oradivorceattorney.Ineededa
womanwhowoul drepresentmeper fectl
y .But
whocoul dalsoberuthless. 
Si
yamayt hinkthathehadwonorthatIwas
overever
ything,
butIwasn'
trol
l
ingover.I
wantedoutandnot hi
ngwasgoingtostopme.
 
Isetupanappoint
mentwi ththeatt
orney
,then
wenttotakeabath.Ineededtowashawayt he
day,andwhatbett
erwayt othatt
hanbyani ce
bubbl
ebat
h.

WhenIcameoutthebat
hSi
yawasonmy
l
apt
op.Ij
ustknewheknewaboutt
heat
tor
ney
.

Iwalkedpassedhim andwenttogetdr
essedi
n
myPJ’ s.Thengotbackint
obed,wit
hSiya
si
tt
ingt her
e

Hi
m; soar
eyouser
iousl
ygoi
ngf
orwar
dwi
th
t
his 
Me;
yep 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
yesdear
 
Hi
m;Iwi
l
lnotgr
antadi
vor
ce 
Me;
we’
l
lsee 
Hi
m;don’
tst
artsomet
hingy
oucan’
tfi
nish 
Me;
mhmm 
Him;I’
m seri
ousRi
fi
loe.Thi
sisn’tgoingt
o
happen.Ij
ustdon’
tseewhyy ouwantt ogo
thr
oughwi t
hthi
s,whenitwasn’tgoingto
happen 
Me;
okSi
ya 
Hi
m;Ther
ewi
l
lbenoDi
vor
ceher
e.Don’
tpush
me 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
shhhhmaanSi
yaI
’
mtr
yingt
owat
chTV
Hi
m;mxm

Siy
abargedout,
andleftmesmili
ng.I
tfel
tgood
tobet
heonet ohav
et heupperhandf
oronce.

OnceSi
y aleftIwasabletogetsomereal
rest
..
.
upunt
ilIfeltapainf
ulcrampinmyback.I
tonly
l
astedforaf
ewminut
es,butwaspai
nful
enoughtowakemeup.
 
Idri
ft
edbackt osleep,
butthenthepai
ncame
back.Thisti
meabi tst
rongert
hanthelast
.This
wasdefinit
elynotsomethi
ngtotakeli
ghtl
y.The
pai
nwashor ri
d
Isatupandputt
heli
ghton.Ir
angf
orMar
ia,
andtri
edSi
yaonhismobil
e.

Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;
Si
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.
 
Me;
I….OhGod…Somet
hingi
sntr
ight

Ihear
dSiyar
unni
ngupthestai
rs.Mar
ia,
wason
thephonewi
thanambul
ance. 
Hewal
kedi
nandl
ookedatmei
nshock
Hi
m;baby
,what
swr
ong 
Me;
I….
.

Iwant
edt
otel
lhi
m aboutt
hepain,butf
ort
he
l
if
eofmethewor
dswouldn’tcomeout.

Si
yasatnextt
ome,andi r
eal
isedthatt
hebed
waswetwithali
qui
dthatwasmi xedwi
thbl
ood.

IlookedupatSoyandt
hef
earIhi
sey
es
refl
ectedmyown

Hi
m:wear
egoi
ngt
ogett
hrought
his

Inoddedandt
ri
edt
obr
eat
hthr
oughoutt
hepai
n.

Si
yagotupt
ochange,
whi
l
eMar
iahel
pedmet
o
cl
eanmy
sel
fup,
andhedr
essedf
ort
hehospi
tal
.

Theambulancewast aki
ngawhi
l
e,Si
yahadme
ai
rl
if
tedt
ot hehospi
tal

Whenwear ri
vedatthehospit
al,
mydoct or
bookedmeinf oranemergencyc-secti
on.
Apparent
lymybloodpressur
ehadgot t
enworse
andthebaby'
sheartbeatwasdecr easi
ng.

Siyawaswi thmeev erystepoftheway .From

whenwear ri
vedt owhenwet heyadmi ni
ster
ed
theepidural
.Henev erl
eftmysi deanddespite
thethingsthatwer ehappeningbet weenus.I
real
lyappreciat
edhi ssuppor t
.Hekepton
reassuri
ngme, despi t
erhef actthatourbaby
wouldbepr emat ure

Wewenti
ntot
heat
reandt
hedoct
orsdeci
ded
toputmeunder .Imadesiy
apromiset
hathe
woulsfi
lm herbir
th,si
nceiwoul
dntbeabl
eto
hearherfi
rstcr
y.

Thl astthingi r
ememberwasweSi ya's
beaut i
fulbrowney es.Hehadt earsinthem but
wasput t
ingupaf r
ont.Iclosedmyey esand
placedev erythi
nginGod' shands.Ij usthoped
thatdespi teLesedibeingpremat ure,thatshe
woul dbeheal thy,
andwoul dfighttobei nthi
s
wor l
d.Shewasmyonl yl
inkt oSiyaandl osi
ng
herwoul dl eavemei ncompl eteforever.
[
05/
15,
15:
22]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

157

(
Cropt
opi
nser
t)
Wakingupwasr atherdi
ffi
cult.If
eltsonumb
andmyheadwasheav y.Ittookmeamoment
tounderst
andwher eiwas,andt henital
lcame
rushi
ngback.Il
ookedar oundandSi yawasn't
around.Mydoct
orwasher eandhewas
speakingt
ome, butIwasst il
labitoutofit
.

Hi
m:MrsNdhlov
u.Ineedyout
orespondso
t
hati
knowthatyouareok

Me:
howi
smybaby
Him:She'
saf
ight
er.Cameoutscr
eami
ngf
or
dearl
if
e

ismil
edatt
hethoughtofapal
eli
tt
leLesedi
scr
eamingherl
ungsout

Me:
cani
seeher
?
hi
m: notyet
.Shei sinanincubat
orfornow.She
gaveusquiteascar ewit
hhowsl owherheart
beathadgotten,butonceshecameoutshe
hadgottenbetter
Me:
thanky
ou
Him:yourhusbandiswai
ti
ngforyouat
recov
ery.I
lll
etyouknowtheminutey
oucan
seeyourbaby
Me:
thanky
ou

Iwast akenbacktosui
tandif
oundSi
yahad
decoratedtheroom wi
thpi
nkandwhi
tbal
l
oons,
andtonsoff l
owers.

Hewassi
tt
ingi
noneoft
hechai
rswi
thhi
shead
i
nhi
shands.

Hel
ookedupandsmi
l
edwhenhesawme.
Hi
m:Ther
eyouar
e
Me:
Hey
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng 
Me:
col
d 
hi
m:i
canseet
hat
.You'
reshaki
ngl
i
kecr
azy
Me:i
llputonanotherbl
anketoncet
hey
'r
e
f
ini
shedputti
nginmyI V
Hi
m:cani
gety
ousomet
hingt
oeat
Me:
not
hanky
ou.Ij
ustwantt
oseemybaby
Him:t
heyaskedustogi
vethem ti
mewithher
.
Buti
wasabletogetafewpict
uresfory
ou 
Me:
letmesee

Siy
asatont hebednexttomedespitet
he
nurseshor
ri
fiedlook.Hegav
emehi sphone
andIsawapi ctureofmybeaut
if
ulbabygir
l.
Shehasbeaut
if
ulbl
ackhai
r,wi
they
esj
ustl
i
ke
herf
ather
s.

Ilookedatt
hepicturesandinst
antl
yfell
inlov
e.
LesediwasmyLi ghtattheendifaverydar
k
tunnel,
andthefactthatshewasOKdespi t
e
beingprematur
e,mademyhear tsmile.

Si
yawi
pedat
earf
rom myey
e.

Him: Thanky ouRif

il
oe.Thankyouformaki
ng
meaf ather
.Idon'
tknowhowamanl i
keme
could'
v eeverbeensoblessedtohaveyoui
nmy
l
ife,
butj ustknowthatIlov
ey ouwit
hallmy
heart.

Me:
don'
t 
Hi
m:i
knowi
don'
tdeser
vey
ourf
orgi
veness
butbabyify
oucoul
d,i
promi
sey
oui
woul
d
neverhur
tyouagai
n
Me:Siya.Ij
usthadababy .Thel
astthi
ngi car
e
aboutisourmarri
age.Lesedii
sall
thatineedto
worryabout.
hi
m:Iunder
stand 
Me:
Good

idri
ft
edofft
osl
eepwhileSi
yawentt
ocheckup
onLesedi
.Mybloodpr
essur
ewassti
llhigh,and
thedoct
orwant
edtokeepmeonbedr est.

Iwasbey ondreli
evedthatLesediwasok.At
l
eastnowi hadapurposeinlif
e,andthat
purposewast omakesur ethatmyl i
tt
legirl
neverwentt hr
oughwhati hadtogot hr
ough.I
hadherwhol eli
fetolookforwardtoandt hat
broughtjoytomyhear t
.Shewast hestrength
thatIneededtofinal
l
yleaveSiya.Iwasnot
goingtoletherwatchmeinami serabl
e
mar r
iage.Iknewnowmor ethaneverthati
twas
ti
met oendmymar ri
ageandlookforwardtoa
fut
urewi t
hLesedi.
[
05/
15,
15:
24]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

158

WhenIwokeup,Siyawasbymysideagain.I
coul
dsmellf
ood,andthati
swhenIreal
i
sed
hoehungr
yIwas. 
Il
ookedathi
m andhesmi
l
ed

Hi
m;way
kyway
kysl
eepyhead 
Me;
Hi
Hi
m;Iboughty
oudi
nner
Me;
Dinner
? 
Hi
m;y
ah,
you’
vebeenoutf
orabout24hour
s
Me;
Damn 
Hi
m;thedoct
orgav
eyousomethingtosl
eepso
t
haty
oucangetyoubl
oodpressuredown 
Me;
Hel
pmesi
tup 
Hi
m;sur
e

Siyahelpedmeup, andi
twasr at
her
excruci
ating.I
twasobvioust
hemedshadwor n
outandnowi twasuptomybodyt ofi
ghtt
he
pain.IwincedabitandSiyal
ookedatme
horri
fi
ed

Hi
m;ar
eyouok.Shoul
dIcal
lyourdoct
or?
 
Me;
Siy
a.I
’
mfi
ne 
Hi
m;Yousur
e
Me;
Yes.Ij
ustwantt
oeat
Hi
m;ok

Siy
ahandedmet hesoup,andIindul
ged.I
hadn’
teatenpr
operl
yforabout48hourssoI
wasstarv
ed 
Aft
ereati
ng,Idrankmymeds,andrev el
l
edi
n
myjoy.Iwasplacedinawheelchai
randwent
downtoseemybabyf ort
heveryfi
rstti
me.
 
Looki
ngatmysmal lli
tt
lebabyinasmall
i
ncubatorbrokeme.Shelookedsofr
agil
eand
small
.Herlit
tl
ethumbwasi nhermouthand
shehadwi r
esallov
erher.
 
Apar tofmewashappyt hatshewashere,but
anotherpartr
esentedSiyaforputt
ingmeinthi
s
positi
on.I
fhehadbeent hehusbandIneeded
may be,j
ustmay beLesediwouldn’
tbesi
tti
ngin
anincubatorat32weeks.  
Thenursesletmeholdherforafewminutes,
andIcouldn’
thidemyjoy.Shel
ookednothing
l
i
keme,butatl
eastherwei
ghtwasqui
tehi
gh
f
orapr
ematurebaby.
 
Afterseei
ngLesedi ,
Iwastakenbacktomy
room forrest.Ir
eall
ywantedtobathbutt
hey
wouldn’tl
etme.I nst
eadtheyi
nsist
edthatIst
art
walkingagain 
Iwalkedaf ewsteps,thenforcef
ull
ywent
shower,Ihadn’
tshower edin3day s,andIfelt
disgust
ing,Ial
sowant edtogetagoodl ookat
myscar ,si
nceIhadn’tseenitandt hankful
l
yit
l
ookedmuchsmal lerthanIthoughtitwould. 
Af
termyshower,Igotintobed,andrel
axed.
Li
fewasn’
texact
lyperfect,
butLesedil
ooked
well
,andt
hati
sallthatmat t
eredtome.

Istay
edinthehospit
alforabout5weeks.
Lesedinowweightabout4kgs,andwasdoing
rat
herwellf
oraprematurebaby.Shewas
l
ookingmoreandmor elikeherfat
herandt
hat
honestl
yannoy
edme.butatl eastshewas
heal
thy

Wel ef
tthehospi
tal
andwentbacktothehouse.
Siy
ahadbeenwi thmeandLesediatt
he
hospit
althi
swholeti
me.Hewouldgohomet o
shower,butmostni
ghtswer
espentwithus.
 
IwishIcouldsaythatt
hatwasenough,butI
honest
lydidn’
tknowhowIf el
taboutSi
ya. 
Ilovedhim asthefat
herofmychil
d,butI
wasn’ti
nlov ewit
hhim.Thepassi
onweonce
sharedwasgone.Hi stouchnol
ongermademe
tense,i
nsteaditmademeuncomf or
table.

Siy
atri
ed.ButIwasn’
tint
erest
ed.Iwant
edhim
toconcent
rat
eonbeingaf at
her,
andnothi
ng
more. 
Wearr
ivedhomeanditdi
dn’
tfeel
li
kemyhome.
I
thadalotofmemori
es,bot
hgoodandbad,
but
nonet
helessi
twasn’
tmyhomeany mor
e.
SiyatookNaledit
oherr oom,
sinceshewassti
l
l
fastasleepfr
om theri
dehome, andIwentt
o
themai nbedroom t
ogetsomesl eep.
 
Iwantedtostayi
nthemainbedroom,because
i
twasconjoinedtoLesi
di’
sroom.Anditwould
beeasierf
ormet ogett
oheratnight
,butI
knewthatSiyawoul
dinsi
stonstayi
ngherewith
me.

Si
yawal
kedi
njustasIwast
hinki
ngabouthi
m.

Hi
m;she’
sfastasl
eep
Me;
Thanky
ou
Hi
m; Ineedt
ogoi
ntot
heof
fi
ce.I
tsbeena
whi
le. 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;I
llbehomei
nti
mef
ordi
nner
 
Me;
Mhmm

Siyal
eftandIl etoutasi ghofr eli
ef.Beingin
thesamer oom t ogetherwasr atherawkwar d.I
t
wasobv i
oust hatt her
ewast onsoft ension
betweenus.ButIwasn’ tgoingt osayany t
hing.
Siyaknewt hatwhatwehadwasgone, andt he
soonerhecamet oacceptthatt hebetter

Lesedi
wokeupsoonaf t
erherfat
herl
eft
.Iwas
nowbreast
feedi
ngal mostever
ytwohoursand
honest
lyi
twasex haust
ing.
 
Myauntwasduetoar
ri
vethefol
lowingdayt
o
comeandassi
stmewithher
,butSiy
ahadalso
hi
redanannyt
ohelpwi
thout.
 
Iwassti
llatt
hestageofbei
ngoverprotecti
ve
overher
.Iwasn’
treadytohav
eaSt angerlook
af
terher,
butIhonestl
yhadnochoi
ce. 
Ast
ruet
ohi
swor
dSi
yaar
ri
vedatexact
ly6pm.
Justi
nti
mef
ordi
nner
. 
Het
ookLesedi
from meandsmi
l
ed

Hi
m; Imi
ssedher
.Itf
eel
sli
keadecadesi
nceI
l
astsawher 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;sowhat
’sf
ordi
nner
 
Me;
roastl
amb 
Hi
m;I’
ll
putherKhany
idownandt
hencomeand
j
oiny
ou 
Me;
ok

HewenttoputLesedi
down,
andIdi
shedupf
or
t
hebothofus.
 
Whenhecamedownst
air
shemov
edhi
spl
ace
set
ti
ngt
onextt
omine
Hi
m;sohowwasy
ouraf
ter
noon 
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;I
’
m gl
ad 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m;sot
hisi
showi
t’
sgoi
ngt
obebet
weenus 
Me;
Mhmmm
Hi
m;weneedt
oaddr
esst
his 
Me;
addr
esswhat
 
Him;t
histensi
onbetweenusisn’
tri
ghtRi
fi
.We
needtotr
ymaki ngt
hisri
ght
.Ifnotf
oroursake,
thenf
orKhanyi’
ssake 
Me;
I’
m noti
nter
est
ed 
Hi
m;soy
oupr
eferf
orust
obel
i
ket
his 
Me;Ipr
eferf
orustodivor
ce,
sowecanbot
h
f
indsomehappiness.
 
Hi
m;y
ouknowt
hat
’snotanopt
ion 
Me;
mhmmm 
Hi
m;baby
.IknowIhur
tyou.
 
Me;andyety
ouandNal
edi’
sfamil
yar
esti
l
l
meeti
ng.Whi
chmeansyouaregoi
ngtomarr
y
her
Hi
m;how
Me;Ioverhear
doneofyourconv
ersat
ionswhen
youthoughtIwassl
eepi
ng 
Him;Ri
fil
oe.ThisdealwithLesothoisn’
tabout
meany more.I
t’saboutpromisesImadt omy
count
ry.PromisesthatIhavetofulf
il
 
Me;whataboutthepr
omisesyoumadetome?
Thevowsyoumadt oprot
ectandhonourme?
Thosedon’
tcountanymore?
Hi
m;t
heydo.
..But
 
Me; butnot
hing.Siyaqui
tefrankl
yIdon’tcar
e.I
wantoutoft hi
smar ri
age.Iam nolongerangry.
Ireall
ydon’
tmi nd.Youcanmar ryNaledi
.AllI
askisthatyouleavemeal one 
Hi
m;but
 
Me;noSiya.Nobuts.Iwon’
tbemadet
ost
ayi
n
al
ovelessmarri
age 
Hi
m;l
ovel
ess 
Me;
Yes;
Lov
eless 
Hi
m;whatar
eyousay
ing 
Me;
youknowexact
lywhatIam say
ing 
Hi
m;Iwantt
oheary
ousayi
t 
Me;
Si 
Him;SAYI
T…SAYI
T..TELLMEYOUDON’
T
LOVEMEANYMORE 
ME;
I’
m nol
ongeri
nlov
ewi
thy
ou

ThelookinSiya’seyesbr okeeverypieceofme.
Helookeddev astat
ed.Hegotupandwent
upstai
rs.Whil
eIf i
nisheddi nner
.IknowIhad
hurthi
m, butIhadnochoi ce.Si
yahadt oget
usedtousbei ngapar tassoonaspossi bl
e.
Aft
erdinnerIwentupst
airsandfoundSiy
a
hol
dingLesedi.Shehadfall
enasl
eep,andhe
wasintherockingchai
r.SoIwenttomyr oom
andgotintobed. 
SiyaandIwoul
deventual
lyneedtodiscussthe
ter
msofoursepar
ation.Despi
tethi
sbeinghard.
Itwasbestf
orust
oputourf eel
ingsasideand
concent
rat
eonco-
par ent
ing.
[
05/
15,
15:
25]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

159

(
Cropt
op)

Siyaandi bothtooktur
nscar i
ngf orLesediat
night
.Hewasr eall
yhandsonandsomet i
mesit
mademewantt ogivehim anotherchancebuti
j
ustcouldn'tbri
ngmy sel
ftoopeni ngmyhear t
tohim again.
I
tsbeenaweeksi
ncewecamehomeand
t
hankful
l
ywe'
vesett
ledi
nqui
teni
cel
y.

Siy
awasstay
ingi
nthespar
ebedr
oom andi
remai
nedi
nthemain.

Wehadn'tspokenmuchsincetheni
ghtIt
old
hi
m Idi
dn'tl
ovehim any
mor e.

Hespentt
heni
ghtoutandonl
ycamebackt
he
f
oll
owingmor
ning.

Apar tofmewant edtoaskhi m wherehe'd

beenbutf i
guredi
twasn' tmyplacetoquestion
him abouthiswhereaboutssinceihadn'
t
exactlybeenhiswif
ef orthepast2mont hs
todaywasSiy
a'sbi
rt
hday.Hewast ur
ning36.I
knowthatwehaven'
tbeenthebestoffri
ends,
butihaddeci
dedweshouldcel
ebrate.

Iwentoutshoppi
ngdur
ingt
hedaywhi
l
ehewas
atwork.
 
Iwantedtomakehi m hi
sfavour
itemeal ,
justt
o
cel
ebratehim.Hewasaf t
erallt
her easonihad
abeautif
ulprincessthatil
i
vedbey ondmeasur e,
soforthatalonehewaswor t
hcelebrati
ng.

Ispentmostoft heafter
nooncooking.Myaunt
hadonlystayedwi t
husf oraweekend,sothei
wasratherthankfult
hatSiyahadthoughtabout
thenanny.Dorywasmyl if
esaverandlesedi
seemedt oli
keherjustasmuchasi di
d.

Ispentt
hedaysl
avi
ngawayintheki
tchen.Si
ya
wasusuall
yhomeby6pm soimadesurethat
ev
ery
thi
ngwasdonej
usti
nti
mef
orhi
sar
ri
val
.

Ipl
acedthecakeinthemi ddl
eofthet
able,
and
wenttogetLesedibecauseSiyahadj
ustdr
iven
i
n.

Siy
awalkedi
njustasi
hadf
ini
sheddr
essi
ng
Lesedi
.

Hegav
eheraki
ss,
thengr
eet
edme.

IKnewSiy
aenjoy
edhavi
ngashowerbef
ore
di
nner,
soiwentdownst
air
sandwai
tedf
orhim.

Whenhecamedownhewasn' ti
nhisusual
casual
clothes.I
nfacthewasinthecompete
opposi
te.Hewasi nhisnavysui
tthathewore
thever
yfir
sttimeIsawhim.
Imustadmit
,despi
tei
tal
lthatmanl
ooked
dashi
nginasuit
.

Hi
m:You'
rest
ari
ng 
Me:
sor
ry
Him:I
'm goi
ngoutf
ort
heni
ght
.Wi
l
lyout
uck
Lesedii
n
Me:
sur
e
Hi
m:y
ouok?
me:
yes.Iahhm.Nev
ermi
nd
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:
gooutandenj
oyy
ourbi
rt
hday
 
hi
m:cool
.Seey
out
omor
row
Me:
oh.
.ahmm ok

Si
yawal
kedoutanddi
dn'
tev
enseem t
onot
ice
t
het
abl
eihadl
aidoutf
orhi
m.

ItookLesediandputhert
obed,
thenwentt
o
bedmy sel
f.

Therewasnousehav i
ngdinner
.Ihadtot
all
y
l
ostmyappetit
e.IknowSiyaandiaren'
t
toget
her
,butihadthoughthewouldwantto
spendhi
sbirt
hdayhere,wit
hhisdaught
er.

Thef ol
l
owingmor ningiwokeupandwentf ora
j
og.Ihadf i
nal
lygottenclearancefrom t
he
doctortost
artexercisi
ngagainandi wasr ather
exci
ted.Mybabyt ummywasst i
l
labittheresoi
hadtogetmyassi ntogear.Ihadgained15kgs
andnowi twasaboutt i
mei gotri
diftheextra
weight.

Ij
okedf
orexact
ly10km andi
wasdone.I
coul
dn'
tbel
i
evehowst
if
fihadgot
ten.

Iwal
kedt
hroughthegat
ejustasthenewspaper
manwasdroppi
ngoverpapersfort
heday.

It
ookacopyt
henwenti
nsi
de.

Ipl
acedt
hemagazi
neonthecount
ert
henwent
tomakemysel
fasmoot
hie.

Lesediwasst
il
lasl
eep,
soi
hadampl
eti
met
o
gainbackmyenergy
.

Isatont hekitchencounterenj
oyi
ngmy
smoot hi
e.Itookt henewspapertolookat
random things,andboom therewasapictureof
SiyaandNal edicelebr
ati
nghisbir
thdayatthe
royalhouseher einCT.
Iexaminedt
hepi
ctur
einf
rontofmeni
t
knowinghowtor
eact.

Apartofmewasextremel
yjeal
ousbutt
he
ot
herpartwasr
eli
eved.

Atl
eastnowiwas100%cer t
aint
hatt
herewas
noturni
ngbackwhenitcametomyrelat
ionshi
p
wit
hSi y
a.I
twasfi
nal
lyti
met ofi
l
efordiv
orce
andmov eon.
[
05/
15,
15:
26]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

160

Siy
awalkedinjustasIwashav
ingbreakfast.I
hadnoideawhenhecamehomel astni
ght,and
quit
efr
anklyIdidn’
tcar
e.
Helookedatt
hecakeonthetabl
eandthenat
me.Igotuptoleav
ethet
ablebutSi
yaheldont
o
myhand

Hi
m;wai
t 
Me;Lesedi
isaboutt
owake.Ineedt
ochange
her
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m; I
’m sor
ry.Idi
dn’
tknowy
ouhadpl
anned
di
nnerforus 
Me;
for
getabouti
t 
Hi
m;baby
 
Me;hopeyouenj
oyedy
ourni
ghtwi
thNal
edi
l
astni
ght
Hi
m;I
t’
snotl
i
ket
hat
 
Me;
doesn’
tmat
ter
Hi
m;cany
ouj
ust
 
Me;
letgo 
Hi
m;But

WeheardLesedicr
ying,
andSiyai
nstant
lyl
etgo.
Il
efthi
mthereandwentt ot
akecar
eofmy
baby.
 
Ifedandgav
eherabat
h,t
hendeci
dedt
ogo
outfort
heday.

Iwast i
redofst ayingi
ndoor s,andI ’
m sure
Lesediwoul denjoythefreshai r.Inmoment s
l
ikethese, Ir
eallywishIhadf r
iend.Si ncebeing
wit
hSi yaIhadbeensodi stantfrom mygi rl
s.I
hadn’tspokent othem inov er6mont hs.And
nowBoni basicall
ywantednot hi
ngt odowi th
me.Shehadn’ tsaidanything,buti twaski ndof
obvioussinceshewasn’ tanswer inganyofmy
cal
ls.Somyl i
fehadbasi callyboileddownt o
meandLesedi
.

OnceLesediwasready
,It
ookher,andheaded
downstai
rs.Si
yawasonthephoneandhadt he
newspaperinhi
shand
.
 
Hewrappeduphiscallwhenhesawusand
pl
acedthenewspaperonthetabl
e

Hi
m;wher
eyougoi
ng 
Me;
thebeach 
Hi
m;i
sn’
tshet
oosmal
ltogoout
 
Me;
she’
sfi
ne

Hecal
ledoutf
ort
henanny
,andshet
ookLesedi
f
rom me.
Hi
m;weneedt
otal
k 
Me;
nott
oday
.Iwant
Hi
m;No.Now 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;NOW RI
FILOE.

Si
yagrabbedmyhandanddr
aggedmet
othe
l
ounge

Hi
m;youar
egoi
ngt
osi
tdownandLi
stent
o
me 
Me;
Si 
Him;Ri
fi
loe.Shutup.f
oroncei
nyourl
i
fe,
just
shutt
hefuckup

Ilookedathim andnot
icedhewasget
ti
ng
ratherannoy
ed
Me;
Fine
Him;Iknowt hatyouarehur t
.ButRif
il
oe,I
swear,Ididn’
tknowaboutt hepartyf
rom l
ast
night
.Itwasasur pri
se.Ihonestl
ywasjust
goingtodinnerwithHlokes,Ihadnoideaabout
theparty
. 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
Him; Rif
il
oe.Imi ssy ou.Il ov
ey ou,anddespite
whati tl
ookslike.Nal edi andIaren’ttoget
her.I
don’tseehert hatway .Thephot ographerj
ust
askedf orapicture.Ihadnoi deaitwoul dbein
thepaper .Orl
etal onet hatthemedi awould
fi
ndoutaboutt heLesot hodeal 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m;Al
lIwanti
syou
Me;
Mhmm 
Him;baby.Pl
ease.Ij
ustneedyout
o
under
stand.Thi
sLesothodeal
isbi
ggert
han
me.It’
snotaboutthemar r
iage.Orr el
ati
onshi
p.
It
’saboutmorethanjustus.PleaseRef i
l
oe.
HowdoIsaynot othepresidentofmycount r
y?
Thesamecount ryIvowedtot akecareof?The
samecountryIvowedr i
skedmyl i
feforover
andoveragain.HowdoIdot hat?HowdoIwal k
awaynowwhent heyneedme?  
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Hi
m;saysomet
hing 
Me; Siya……Il ovey ou.Withev er ythi
nginme.I
l
ov eyoursmi l
e,yourey es, andy oursenseof
humor .Everythingabouty ouIl ov e.Evenwhen
youhur tme.Ican’ tst oplov i
ngy ou.Iwantto.I
real
lydo, butmyhear tj
ustwon’ tletme.Iwould
got hr
oughal lofthiscrazinessi fIknewt hat
youwoul dchoseme.Butwebot hknowt hat
youwoul dn’t.Youl ov eyourjobmor ethan
anything.YourVowst othef orcedr i
veyou.I
can’tcompet ewi tht hat
.Sopl ease.Don’ t
chooseme.y oucoul dnev ermakeamehappy
Hi
m;Icoul
dtr
y 
Me;
Youhav
etr
ied
Hi
m;(
sigh)
 
Me;
don’
tfeel
bad.I
tjustwasn’
tmeantt
obe 
Hi
m;butIl
ovey
ouRi
fi
loe 
Me;yah.Youdo.Butyoual
soloveyourj
ob,
but
youneedtochoose.Youcan’
thaveital
l

Il
ookedint
oSi
ya’
sey
es,
andpr
ayedhewoul
d
chooseus.

Hi
m; I’
m sor
ryRi
fi
loe.Ihav
etogot
hroughwi
th
t
his.Ihavet
omarryher

IgotupbecauseIcoul
dfeel
tear
sthr
eat
eni
ng
myey es.
 
Me;
wel
l
,Iwi
shy
oubot
hthebest
Il
eftSiyainthelounge,andwentt
omyr oom.
Thiswast hefi
nalstraw.Si
yahadmadea
decisi
on,andnowIhadnochoi cebutt
ol i
ve
wit
hi t
.

Hisl
ovef
orhi
sjobwasaboveme,andt
hatwas
Ok.Nowi
twastimet
oreal
lymoveon.

Ispentthedayi
nmyr oom pl
anningmyway
forwar
d.Therewasnousecr yinganymore.I
hadtogetmyl i
feback.Siy
awasl i
vi
ngouthi
s
dream,andIwassitt
ingathomemi ser
abl
e.

Icontact
edadivor
celawy
er,
thenst
art
ed
l
ookingforahouse.
 
Iwant
edtobebacki nJHBassoonaspossible.
ThesoonerIl
eavethesoonerIcouldfi
ndaj
ob,
andgetbacki
ntotheswingofthings.
 
Ibookedanappoint
menttoviewaf ewhouses,
thencal
ledthelawy
er,
tosetupat i
me.Theonly
probl
em Ifacednowwasdiscussi
ngmypl ans
withSi
ya

It
ookmylapt
op,andwentt
ohisoff
ice.Ther
e
wasnousetr
yingt
oprol
ongthi
s.

Iknockedonhi
sdoor
,andwai
tedf
orhi
mtot
ell
met ocomein.

Me;
doy
ouhav
eamoment
 
Hi
m;ofcour
se 
Me;
Thanks.

Isatopposi
tehi
m,andopenedmyl
apt
op
Me;
I’
vebeent
hinki
ngofawayf
orwar
d. 
Hi
m;and
Me;
Ithi
nki
tsbestImov
ebackt
oJHB
Hi
m;No
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;sohowwi
l
lIseemydaught
er 
Me;
Youcanseeherwhenev
ery
ouar
einJHB
Hi
m;No
Me;
Ithoughtwecoul
ddi
scusst
hisl
i
keadul
ts 
Him;Idon’tcar
e.I
’m notl
ett
ingy
out
akemy
daughteranywher
e. 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;NoRef i
loe.Youwanttogot hengo.Take
yourshitandfuckoff
.Butdon’tt
hi nkt
hateven
forasecond,thatIwoul
dletyout akemy
daughteroutofCT.sheisminejustasmuchas
sheisyours 
Me;
IknowthatSiy
a.Butt
herei
snothi
ngl
eftf
or
meher
e.Ineedtostar
tmyli
feagai
n 
Hi
m;y
oucandot
hatwi
thoutmov
ingt
oJHB 
Me;
Siy
a,pl
ease.Ineedt
hisf
rom y
ou.Pl
ease 
Hi
m;No 
Me;
arewegoi
ngtofi
ghtev
eryt
imewedi
scuss
t
heter
msofourdi
vor
ce?
Hi
m;Di
vor
ce?
Me;
YesSi
ya.It
oldy
oubef
ore.Iwantout
 
Hi
m;Idon’
twantt
otal
kaboutt
hisnow 
Me;
Whynot
 
Hi
m;because 
Me; STOPBEI NGSOFUCKI NGSELFISH.Ihave
beenmor ethanunderst
anding.Youhavepul
led
mef rom pi
l
lartopostSi
ya.Andnowt hatIwant
tomov eon,youblockme.Icannotdothiswit
h
youany more.Justl
etmegof orGod’
ssake.
Please
Hi
m; HowRif
il
oe?HowdoIswi
tchof
fmy
f
eel
ingsfory
ou?Tel
lme 
Me; yougotoNaledi
.Youmakehery ourwife
andy oustar
tafamilywit
hher .Forgetaboutus.
Maket heLesot
hodeal happen.It’
swhaty ou
wantedforsolong.Sogoanddoi t.Justplease.
PleaseLeavemeoutoft his 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Ilov
eyout
oo 
Hi
m;don’
tleav
eme
Me;Ihaveto.SothatIcanbreat
heSiy
a.Sothat
Icanrai
seLesediinpeace.Thi
sconst
ant
fi
ghti
ngisn’
theal
thyforherBaby.Wecan’
t
bri
ngherupliket
his 
Hi
m;(
sil
ence)

Igotupt
hechai
randwentt
osi
tonhi
slap.
Hi
m;don’
tdot
his
Me;
weneedt
o 
Hi
m;butIl
ovey
ou
Me;
lov
eisn’
tal
way
senough 
Hi
m;why
Me;
becauset hi
sisyourwor
ld.Andagi
rll
i
ke
meisn’
tfi
tforthi
s. 
Hi
m;soy
ouwantsomeoneel
se 
Me; No.Iwanty ou.ThemanIt houghty ouwer e.
Themant hatpickedmeupf r
om ChafPozi .The
manwhoi sherenow.NotGhost .But
reali
sticall
yGhosti sapar tofy ou.Hei sthere
weat herIloveitornot .AndIjustcan’ tdeal wi
th
Ghost .Ghosthadhur tme.Phy sically
.Hehas
ri
ppedmyhear toutofmychest .IwantYou
Siya.Nott hemanwhoi swilli
ngt omar rya
womanhesay shedoesn’ tlove.Ineedaman
whowi llputmeandourchi ldabov ehisjob.
Andr ightnowy ouar en’tthemanIneedr ight
now,
andsoy
ouhav
etol
etmego

Si
y awipedawayat earfrom myey e, andleaned
i
nt okissme.Iwant edsobadl ytot ellhimto
stop.ButIcouldn’
t.Thiswast helastt imeI
wouldf eelhi
sli
psonmi ne.SoIkissedhi m
backwi thevery
thi
ngi nme.Ifthiswasour
goodby ethenImightaswel lmaket hebestofit

[
05/
15,
19:
18]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

161

Istoppedthekissbeforeitcouldgetanyfurt
her
,
becausejudgingbythef i
reworksgoingon
i
nsidethiswasonlygoingt oendinoneway
andquitefrankl
yIcouldn’tl
etthathappen.No
mat t
erhowmuchIcr avedhim. 
Hi
m;don’
t 
Me;
Ihav
eto 
Hi
m;Gody
ou’
resost
ubbor
n 
Me;
oneofushast
obe 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;Don’
t.Wehavealr
eadymadet
hedeci
sion.
Let
’sj
ustst
ickt
oit 
Hi
m;(
Sigh)
 
Me;
Ishoul
dgopack
Hi
m;Idon’
twantt
olety
ougo 
Me;
Ineedy
out
o 
Him; Iknow.It
sjust
.IreallythoughtyouandI
couldmaket hiswork.Ijustneededtime.Butin
theendwewoul dmakei twor k.Iwouldhave
Naledi l
i
veinKZNandy ouandIwoul dcar r
yon
asthought hi
shadnev erhappened.The
Lesothodeal woul
dgot hroughandwewoul d
beabl etoli
veourli
ves.
Me;
whataboutNal
edi
 
Hi
m;whatabouther
Me;soy ouwouldshi
phertoKZNandwhat ?
Shewoul dli
veoutt
herestofherdayslonel
y
andlongingforamanwhodoesn’tloveher? 
Hi
m;wel
l
Me;
thati
sn’
tfai
r 
Him;sheknowsIdon’tloveher.She’
sonly
doingt
hisforhercount
ry.Lesothoneedsthi
sto
happenjustasmuchaswedo.  
Me;well
nowyoubot hhavesomethingin
common.Maybey ouguyscanfi
ndawayt o
makethi
swork.Youcangettoknoweachot her
.
Andwhoknows,may beyoumightfall
inlov
e 
Hi
m;Idoubti
t
Me;
Why
 
Hi
m;canIbehonest
?
Me;
yes
Him;I’
vebeentryi
ngtogettoknowherf ort
he
pastcoupl
eofmont hs.Sheissweet.Don’
tget
mewr ong.Butsheisn’
tyou.She’
syesthisyes
that
.Shedoesn’thaveanopini
oninanythi
ng.
Shedoesast ol
dandnot hi
ngelse 
Me;
wel
l
Him;she’snotyou.Shedoesn’
thav
eanyzest.
Sheisahousewi f
eofnoteandIdon’tt
hinkI
coul
dev ertr
ulyl
oveher
Me;
you’
l
lhav
etol
ear
ntol
oveher
 
Hi
m;Ij
ustwantt
hist
obeover
.Iwantt
heseal
t
ogoaheadsoIcanmoveon
Me;I’
m sur
eitwel
lal
lcomet
oget
her
.Justbe
pat
ient

Siy
a’sphonerangpoppi
ngourlittl
ebubbl e.He
l
ookedatthecall
erIDandroll
edhi seyes.I
smiledandgavehi
m onelastkiss,thenlefthi
m
toanswer.
Theconv ersat i
onIjusthadwi t
hSiyalef
tme
feel
ingconf used.Hemadei tsoundsoeasy .
Butthinkingbackt ohowt hingswerereall
yli
ke.
Therewasnot hi
ngIcoulddot omendour
rel
ationship.Itwashonestlybestforbothofus
toletgoandl eteachothertryfi
ndi
ng
happinessel sewhere

IcheckedonLesediandthankful
l
yshewas
wasn’tgi
vi
nghernannyanypr obl
ems.SoIwent
tomyr oom andstar
tedpacki
ng.Thesoonerwe
wereinJHBt hebett
er.

Ipackedaf ewthi
ngsforbot
hLesediand
my sel
f.Ibookedusi
ntoahotelf
ortheti
me
bei
ng.Ihopedt ohav
eusi nanewhousewithi
n
2mont h,butfort
heti
mebeing,wewouldhave
todeal wi
thasuit
e 
BythetimeIwasdonepacki ngandget t
ing
thi
ngsinorder
,itwasapproachingdinnerti
me.
Lesedihadbeenbott
lefeedingalldayandshe
wasstarti
ngtogetcranky.SoItookherfrom
hernannyandwenttohav edinnerwithher
fat
her

Si
yawasdi
nnerandsmi
l
edwhenhesawLesedi

Hi
m;canIhol
dher
 
Me;
Iwaspl
anni
ngonf
eedi
ngher
 
Hi
m;bot
tl
e
Me;nope.She’
sbot
tl
efedt
hewholeday
.Thi
nk
she’
soverit
.Shewant
sherboobi
es 
Hi
m; Ir
ememberat
imewhenIcoul
dhav
e
t
hose 
Me;
wel
l
.Gonear
etheday
s 
Hi
m;Amancandr
eam y
ouknow 
Me;
yes.Hecan,
butamancanal
soknowwhen
t
ogiveup 
Hi
m;y
ouknowt
hat
’snotmyt
hing 
Me;
itwi
l
lhav
etobe 
Hi
m;noti
nami
l
li
ony
ear
s
Me;
any
way
.Weneedt
odi
scusst
hedi
vor
ce 
Hi
m;whatabouti
t
Me;
Iwantt
oknowwheny
oucanmeetwi
thmy
l
awyer
 
Hi
m;whywoul
dyouneedal
awy
er 
Me;
becausewear
eget
ti
ngdi
vor
ced
Him;youdon’tneedalawyer.Youownhal
fof
whatIownandt hat’
sexactl
ywhatyouare
goi
ngt oget
.Caseclosed 
Me;
but
 
Hi
m; Ri
fil
oe.Despit
ewhatyouthink.Iam not
dr
ivenbymoney .Andanyway.Youar et
he
motherofmychi l
d.Iwoul
dneverletyousuff
er.
Soyougethal
fofwhatIownandt
hemoney
youhadbef
oreme 
Me;
ok.IguessIcan’
treal
l
yar
guewi
thy
ou 
Hi
m;FI
NALLY 
Me;
(chuckl
es)
 
Hi
m;y
our
eal
l
yleav
ingme 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;I
tjustf
eel
ssosur
real
 
Me;
we’
l
ladapt
.Ev
ent
ual
l
y 
Hi
m;Iguess 
Me;
wil
lyoudomeaf
avour
 
Hi
m;any
thi
ng 
Me;pr
omisemenomat terwhat
.You’
l
lal
way
s
bet
heref
oryourchi
l
dren 
Hi
m;Ipr
omi
se 
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;CanIasky
out
odomeaf
avour
 
Me;
any
thi
ng 
Him;Idon’
twantyoutointr
oduceanymento
Lesedi
.Ify
oudatejustkeepthem awayf
rom
her
Me;
Icandot
hat
 
Hi
m;t
hanky
ou

Wehadourl
astdi
nnert
ogetherasafami
l
y.
Bot
hourmoodshadchangedtobei
ngsombre.
Aft
erdinnerSi
yatookLesedi
tobat
hwhi l
eIhad
shower.Bytheti
meIwasdone,IputLesedi
to
bed,t
henIwenttobed.

It
ossedandtur
nedforhours.Iwenttothe
ki
tchent
ogetsomemi l
k,andnoticedthat
Si
ya’sof
fi
cel
ightwason.Itwasaf t
er1am,and
It
houghthewouldbeinbedbynow.
Iknockedonhi
sdoorandthedooropened.Si
ya
wassitti
ngi
nhi
soffi
cedri
nkingabott
leof
Hennessey 
Me;
thatha 
Hi
m;y
aahy
oushoul
dknow.Youcausedi
t 
Me;
Idi
dha 
Hi
m;y
ep.I
fonl
yyouhadl
ovedmeenough 
Me;
Siy
a.You’
redr
unk.Youshoul
dgett
obed 
Him;I
’m notdrunk.I
’
m wal
l
owi
ngi
nsel
f-
pit
y.
Ther
e’sadiff
erence 
Me;
ohIsee 
Hi
m;youshouldn’
tbewal
kingaroundher
ewi
th
j
ustt
haton.I
’
m amanaf t
erall
 
Me;
wel
l
.Iwi
l
lbeof
ftobedt
hen 
Hi
m;canIj
oiny
ou 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;j
ustt
ocuddl
e?
Me;
Idon’
ttr
usty
ou 
Hi
m;Ipi
nki
epr
omi
se
Me;
haaSi
ya
Him;youdon’
ttr
ustmeory
oudon’
ttr
ust
your
self
?
Me;
Idon’
ttr
ustei
therofus 
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
Si
Hi
m;why
 
Me;becauseIloveyou.Ev
eryi
nchofmybody
cr
avesyourtouch.
Hi
m;sol
etmemakel
ovet
oyouf
oronel
ast
t
ime 
Me;
no.becausei
fIdot
henI
’
llnev
erl
etgo 
Hi
m;soI
’
llcomecuddl
eyout
hen

Il
eftSi
yaandwentbackt
obed.Nouse
di
scussi
ngsomet
hingt
hatwasn’
tgoi
ngt
o
happen
Iwasjustf
all
i
ngasleep,
whenSi
yacamei
n.I
hear
dhim,andcr
inged. 
Hegoti
ntobedandwr
appedhi
sar
msar
ound
me.

Hi
m; r
elax.I
’
m notgoi
ngt
otr
yanyt
hing.Ij
ust
wantt
ohav eyouinmyar
msfort
helastti
me

Fortheveryl
asttimeIfel
lasl
eepinmy
husband’
swor m arms.Tomorr
owhewouldn’
t
bemi nebutf
ortonighthewasall
mine.
[
05/
15,
19:
19]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

162

Waki
ngupi
nSi
ya’
sar
mswasbi
tt
ersweet
,I
knowt hatwhatIwasdoi ngwasbestf
orme
andLesedi,butatthesamet i
meleavi
ngSiya
wasgoi ngtotearmeapar t
.Wehadbeen
thr
oughsomuchi nthepastcoupl
eofy ear
s,
butnowi twascomi ngtoanendandthere
wasn’tmucht obedone.

It
ri
edget
ti
ngoutofbedbutSi
yapul
l
edme
cl
oser
.

Hi
m;Don’
t 
Me;
Si
Hi
m;Shhh.Justsl
eep 
Me;Ineedt
ogetgoi
ng.Myf
li
ghtl
eav
esat
10am
Hi
m;mhmmm 
Me;
mov
eSi
 
Hi
m;Idon’
tknowi
fIwantt
o
Me;
Youhav
eto 
Hi
m;why
 
Me;
CauseI
’
m noty
our
s 
Hi
m;y
ou’
l
lal
way
sbemi
ne
Me;
(gi
ggl
es)
 
Hi
m;I
’
m ser
ious
Me;
Siy
adon’
tsayshi
tli
ket
hat
.We’
redi
vor
cing
r
emember
 
Hi
m; paperdon’
tmeanshi
t.YouandIar
esoul
mates 
Me;
Siy
a..
.I’
vegott
ogo 
Hi
m;doy
ouwantt
ogo 
Me;
no.butIhav
eto 
Hi
m;Icanmakey
oust
ayy
ouknow 
Me;
yes.Iknowt
hat
,butI
’
m hopi
ngy
ouwon’
t 
Hi
m;y
ouknowIl
ovey
our
ight
 
Me;
yes.Ido.Buty
oual
sol
ovey
ourJob.And
t
hat
’sOK 
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou 
ME;
met
oo 
Hi
m;onel
astki
ss?
Me;
no.Yougotmor
ningbr
eat
h 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)

Lesedist
art
edcryi
ngandSi y
awentt ofet
chher
andputherinbedwithus.Itookherfr
om hi
m
andfedher.OnceIwasdoneIgav ehertoSi
ya,
tochangewhil
eIbathed

Afterbat
hing,
wehadbreakf
astt
ogether
,whi
l
e
theguardswentt
ofet
chmybagsf r
om my
room. 
Istoodinfr
ontofthehouseforthel
astt
ime,
andletoutasigh.Thiswasi
t.Theendofa
chapterandthebeginni
ngofanewone.
Iwal
kedbacki
ntof
etchLesedi
from Si
ya.

Me;
Itst
ime 
Hi
m;(
sil
ence)
 
Me;
Siy
a.Idon’
twantt
omi
ssmyf
li
ght
 
Hi
m;I
t’
syourJet
Me;
that
’snott
hepoi
nt 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
NoSi
ya.Youpr
omi
sed 
Hi
m;Iknow,
Ijustdon’
tknowi
fIcanl
ety
ougo 
Me;
youhav
eto
Hi
m;mhmm

It
ookLesedi
andputheri
nhercarseat
.
WhenIt
urnedar
oundIsawSi
yast
andi
ng
behi
ndme

Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou 
Me;
Met
oo 
Hi
m;don’
tgo 
Me;
Siy
adon’
t 
Hi
m; butRi
fi
loe,
Thi
scan’
tbet
heend.Notl
i
ke
t
his 
Me;
I’
m notdi
scussi
ngt
hisagai
n

Si
yast
oodi
nfr
ontofmeanddi
dn’
tmov
e

Me;
Siy
amov
e 
Hi
m;(
sil
ence)
 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;FuckRi
fi
loe.Ican’
tdot
his 
Me;
Siy
ayoupr
omi
sed 
Hi
m;wel
lfuckt
hat
.

Il
ookedatSiyaandknewhewasn’ tpl
ayi
ng
around.Hi
sfistswerecl
enchedandhi
sveins
hadgottenenlarged

Me;
baby
 
Hi
m;What
.WhatRi
fi
loe 
Me;
Ilov
eyou 
Hi
m;t
henwhyy
oul
eav
ing 
Me;
becauseIneedt
o
Hi
m;Iwon’
tlety
ou 
Me;
Siy
apl
ease.Lesedi
isget
ti
ngr
est
less 
Hi
m; Idon’
tcar
e.You’
renotgoi
ngany
wher
e.I
n
f
act,
getheroutherseat
 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;Rif
il
oe.Youar
emyl i
fe.Howam I
supposedtoli
vewi
thouty
ou?
Me;(
sni
ff)st
op..
.Thi
sishar
dasi
tis.Youar
e
maki
ngitworse 
Hi
m;don’
tgo 
Me;
Siy
amov
e 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
mov
e

Si
yatookastepbackandIgotinthecar
.The
dr
iverst
art
edrev
ersi
ng,andIbursti
ntot
ears.
 
Ihavenoi deawhyIcoul dn’
tjustst
ay.Whywas
Ibei
ngsosel fi
sh?Whycouldn’tIputmy
feel
ingsasi deandjustbewit
hhi m.Why
couldn’tIlovehi
m enoughtonotcar eabout
thi
sst upiddeal?
Iar
ri
vedatt
heai
rpor
tandboardedt
heJet.
Ther
ewasnousecryi
ng.Ihadmadethe
deci
si
ontol
eav
e,andsoIhadnochoi
cebutt
o
keepwit
hmydeci
sion.

*
***
***
**SI
YA*
***
***
***
**

SeeingRi filoeleavebrokeev eryinchofmysoul .

Andy ether eIwasl osingherbecauseofmy
fuckingf ather.Idon’tknowwhyIkeepwant i
ng
hisappr ov aldespitehim beingdead.Ijustwish
Icouldl etDumi sanimar r
yNal ediandwecoul d
mov eon, butIjustcoul dn’
tletthathappen.I
owedNal edi andnowi twast i
meIpai dup. 
Ispenttherestofmydayt r
ackingRifi
l
oewi t
ha
bottl
eofmyl iquor
.Ihadsetup2guar ds
outsidethehotel
,andIhadNailsmonitori
ngher
call
.Iknowwasext reme.Butthinki
ngofher
withanothermanwaski l
li
ngme.SoIal lowed
my selft
obedr i
nk,andbangwal l
s.TomorrowI
wouldhav etobebackattheforce,andI
plannedoncomi ngbackwithabang
*
***
***
***
***
***
**Ri
fi
loe*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***

Arri
v i
nginJHBwashar d.Ever
ythi
ngwasfi
nal
ly
real.Ihadnoone.Justmeandmybaby .Our
l
ittl
ef amil
ywasgone.IgaveLesedit
oher
nanny ,whi
leIset
tl
edusin.

SiyaandIhavebeenapar
tfor4monthsnow.I
wasabl etobuyahouse3bedr
oom housein
Hy dePark.Si
yasi
gnedof
fonthesecur
ity
featur
es,andwewereabl
etomov ei
n. 
Thefir
stcoupleofdayswithouthi
m were
di
ffi
cult
.Especial
l
ywi t
hChr i
stmascomingup,
butnowt hi
ngswer eeasi
er.Eachdaygotl
ighter
andIwasabl etofacethedaywithaposit
ive
outl
ook. 
Lesediwasnow6mont hsoldandwasa
completer
epli
caofherfat
her.Ev
enhermoods
werelikehi
s.Oneminuteshewoul dbesmil
ing,
t
hent henextshewouldbepissed.Siy
amadei t
apointtospendti
mewi thLesediever
y
weekend.Hewouldarri
veinJHBonFr i
day
wouldgobackt oCTonSunday . 
IwoulddropoffLesedi
onFr
idayandhewoul
d
dropheroffonSunday.
 
Thechemi
strybet
weenuswast her
e,butwe
hadbothi
gnoredi
t.Si
yaandNaledi
’
sweddi ng
dat
ehadbeensetforthatv
erysameChrist
mas.

Ihadseenal awyeraboutthedi
v or
ce,andallI
needednowwasf orhi
mt osignthedocument s.
ButSiyabeingSiy
ahehadexcuseaf t
erexcuse
fornotsi
gning.Andhopefull
ysincehewasdue
toarri
vetodaytoseeLesedi.

IhopedIwoul
dbeabl
etogethi
mtosignthem
sothatwecoul
dbot
hmoveforwar
d,becauseI
al
soneededtomov eforward.Ihadappli
edfor
j
obsandIwasf i
nall
yreadytogetmyl i
feback
i
ngear.Iwasbacktobeingme, andallnow
needednowwast hosediv
orcepaperssigned.
[
05/
15,
19:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

163

Si
yaarri
vedonFri
dayi
ntheworstmoodev er
.
Hewalkedinanddi
dn’
tbothert
ogreet
.Inst
ead
hej
ustwenttoLesedi
’
sroom 
Ideci
dedtoletSi
yabe,andmademy selfa
smoothi
e.Ifhewantedtobemoodyhecoul d
doso.Ir
efusedtoparti
cipateoreven
acknowl
edgehisnegati
veener gy.I
nsteadItook
mysmoot hi
e,andwenttot heloungetowat ch
someTV.
Siyawal
kedinhol
dingLesedi
.Heputher
feedi
ngchai
randgavehersomefrui
t,t
hen
cameandsatopposi
teme.
 
Ididn’
tmove,
orev enlookathim.I
nst
eadIj
ust
carri
edonwatchingMrandMr sSmi
thas
thoughhewasn’tevenintheroom.

Siyastoodupandputof ftheTV.SoIt ookmy

phoneandwentont osocialmedia.Againhe
tookmyphone.SoIst aredathim without
sayingaword.I
twascl earhewast heonewi t
h
theproblem,
soIdidn’
tseewhyIhadt osay
anythi
ngwhenhewast heonewi t
ht heprobl
em.

Him;whythefuckwoul
dyousendasher
if
fto
del
iv
erdiv
orcepaperst
ome 
Me;
butSi
ya,
Ihadnochoi
ce.Youkeptdodgi
ng
myl
awyer
 
Hi
m;Ihav
en’
tdodgedany
one.I
’
vebeenbusy
 
Me;Iknow.ButIneededtogett
hisdiv
orce
f
inal
isedal
ready
.It
’sbeen4mont hsSi
ya.What
ar
eyouwai
ti
ngf
or?
 
Hi
m;Ihav
en’
thadt
imet
olookt
hrought
hem 
Me;
buty
ourl
awy
erhas 
Hi
m;so.Ist
il
lneedt
oreadt
hem
Me;Siyawebot hknowy ouarejustt
ryi
ngto
prol
ongt his.Ij
ustfail
tounder st
andwhy .You
areget
tingmar r
iedinlessthanamont h.You
havetosi gnthese 
Hi
m;Isai
dIwi
l
l.Justf
ucki
ngl
ayof
f 
Me;
don’
tusewor
dsl
i
ket
hati
nfr
ontofLesedi
 
Him;
Layof
fwiththel
awyer
sRifi
l
oe.Iwi
l
lgr
ant
youy
ourdi
vor
ce.Justst
oppushi
ng 
Me;
when 
Hi
m;soon.Justgivemeamomentt ofucking
br
eat
h.AllIhearfr
om youi
sdi
vorcethi
s
di
vor
cethat.Iknowyouwanti
t,andi
twillbe
gr
ant
ed.Justlayoff 
Me;
(si
gh)
Hi
m;(
sil
ence)
 
IknewSiyawasonlyhuffingandpuffi
ng
becausehewashurt.Iknowhel ovesme.It
’s
notevenaquesti
oninmymi nd,butl
ovewasn’t
anythi
ngifhewasn’
twill
ingtoshowme.  
Igotupandwenttositonhi
slapi
nmy
favour
it
eposi
ti
onandputmyheadinhi
sneck.
Godhesmeltgood. 
Icoul
dfeel
Siy
agett
inghar
d,andi
ttookal
oti
n
menottori
pmyclothesof
f.

Me;
behav
e 
Hi
m;how,
wheny
ouar
eont
opofme?
Me;
Siy
a.Youneedt
oletgo
Hi
m;How
Me;
Idon’
tknow.Buty
oudo 
Hi
m; Iknowy
ouwantmej
ustasmuchasI
wantyou 
Me;
you’
renotmi
net
ohav
eSi
ya 
Hi
m;andy
ety
ouhol
dmysur
name 
Me;
notf
ormuchl
onger
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
tel
lmewhy
 
Hi
m;whywhat
 
Me;
whyy
ouar
esoadamantt
omar
ryher
Hi
m;Idon’
twantt
otal
kaboutt
hat
.I’
drat
her
ki
ssy
ou
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe,
thi
sisnotupf
ordi
scussi
on 
Me;
mhmm ok.Backt
othedi
vor
ce 
Hi
m;t
hat
’snotupf
ordi
scussi
onei
ther
 
Me;
andt
heny
ouwonderwhyIwantadi
vor
ce
Hi
m;don’
tbesmar
twi
thme
Me;I
’mjustsay
ing.Thi
siswhyIwecan’
tev
er
beok.Youcan’
tbehonest 
Hi
m;ki
ssme 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;pl
ease 
Me;
Lesedi
isl
ooki
ngatus
Him;andwhat’
swrongwi
tht
hat
.Shecansee
herparent
sar
ehappy.
Me;
Iwanty
ou 
Hi
m;y
ouhav
eme 
Me;
no.NoIdon’
t 
Hi
m;yesy
oudo.You’
ret
heonl
yoneI
’
vegi
ven
mysur
name 
Me;
butshewi
l
lhav
eyoursur
nameaswel
l
 
Him;(chuckl
es)y
oumustt
hinkI
’
m dumbas
hel
l 
Me;
whatdoy
oumean 
Hi
m;y
out
hinkIam goi
ngt
omar
ryherl
egal
l
y? 
Me;
wel
l
,isn’
tthatwhaty
oudowheny
ouget
mar
ri
ed
Him;notinmycase.Iam mar
ryi
ngher
t
radi
tional
ly
.Not
hingmoreandnothi
ngless
ME;
yes.Butshewi
l
lst
il
lbey
ourWI
FE
Hi
m;may
be 
Me;
ok…I
’
m ov
ert
his

It
ri
edget
ti
ngupbutSi
yahel
dont
omywai
st 
Me;
Letgo 
Hi
m;no

Il
ookedinhi
seyesandallIsawwasdesi
re.
AndIknewital
soref
lect
edinmyeyes

Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
shhh
Ileanedinandst
art
edkissi
nghim hungr
il
y.I
t’
s
beenmor ethan7monthssinceIhadhadsome
l
ov i
nginalongti
mesot hi
swasj ustt
oogood
tostop. 
Clearl
yLesedidi
dn’tgett
hememo, causeshe
start
edcryi
ngwhenshesawt hatwewer en’
t
gi
v i
ngherattent
ion.Ipul
l
edawayreluctantl
y
andsmi l
edatherandshestoppedcryingand
gi
ggled

Siy
ar ol
ledhi
seyesandIburstoutl
aughi
ng.
Lesedihadnoti
ming,butatthesameti
meshe
hadperfectt
imi
ng.

Igotupf
rom Si
ya,
andwentt
opi
ckherup.
 
Hi
m;weshoul
dgooutf
ordi
nner
Me;
wher
e 
Hi
m;If
eel
li
ker
ibs 
Me;
ok.Let
’sgo 
Hi
m;ar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
ochange 
Me;no.t
her
e’snot
hingwr
ongwi
thwhatI
’
m
weari
ng.
 
Him;Ri
fi
loe.Thoseshort
swil
lhavemenl
ooki
ng
atyoul
eftri
ghtandfli
ppi
ngcentr
e 
Me;
so.Whywoul
dyoucar
e?You’
reget
ti
ng
mar
ri
edinamont
h 
Hi
m;ohGod.Nott
hatagai
n 
Me;
it’
sthet
rut
hmos
Hi
m;l
etsgo 
Me;
Ifeel
li
keI
’
myoursi
dechi
ck 
Hi
m;(
chuckel
s) 
Me;
don’
tlaugh
Hi
m;whywoul
dyou
Me;
cause.Doesy
ourwi
feknowy
ou’
reher
e? 
Hi
m;y
es.Mysecondwi
fe,
knowsIam wi
thmy
f
ir
stwi
fe 
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;y
ouasked 
Me;
justgetLesedi
’
sbag,
andl
et’
sgo

Si
yamov
edcl
oser
,andhel
dont
omywai
st

Hi
m;y
ouj
eal
ous 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;y
oul
ookj
eal
ous 
Me;
I’
m not
 
Him;wel
lI’
dbejeal
ousasf
ucki
fyoust
art
ed
dati
ngsomeone 
Me;wel
l.Ipl
anondoi
ngsor
ightaf
tery
ousi
gn
t
hosepapers 
Hi
m;don’
tst
artwi
thshi
t
Me;
giggl
es
Hi
m;soam Ispendi
ngt
heni
ght
 
Me;
no 
Hi
m;whynot
 
Me;
cause 
Hi
m;we’
l
lsee

SiyawenttofetchLesedi’sbag,andwewent
fordi
nner.Thi
swast hef ir
sttimesincewe
separat
edthatwewer er eall
ygett
ingalong.
Lesediwasalloverherfather.Shedidn’
twant
toevencomenearme.  
Aft
erdinner
,wewentforawal
karoundthemal
l
toti
reLesediout
.Thenwedr
ovebacktomy
house.

Siy
awentupandputLesedit
obed,whi
leI
contempl
atedonwhet
hertol
ethi
m st
aythe
ni
ghtornot. 
Imissedhi
mr eall
ybadlybutatthesametimeI
di
dn’twantt
oseem weak.Butt henwhocares?
Siy
aandIwer etechni
call
ysti
llmarr
iedandI
coulddowhatIwant .
[
05/
15,
19:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

164

Siyacanedownandf oundmei ntheki t

chen
withaglassofwi neinmyhand.heputhi sarms
aroundmef rom behind.Iknowi want edSiya.I
meani mi sseshi m afterallbutatthesame
ti
mesl eepingwi thSiyawoul dcomplicatethings.
Howwoul di feelaf
terwar ds?Howcoul dwe
mov eonwheni basicall
ykeptj umpinghi m
everyti
mehewasher e

Hi
m:SodoIgoordoIst
ay?
me:
ithi
nki
tsbeaty
ougo
Hi
m:y
ousur
e 
Me:
no.Buti
tst
her
ightt
hing 
Hi
m:butIt
hought
 
Me:
yout
houghtwr
ong
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:
(Sni
ff
)
Hi
m:whati
sitRi
fi
loe
Me:iwantyouback.Iwantmyf
amil
yt oget
her
,
buty
ouparentwil
li
ngtomakesacr
if
ices. 
Hi
m:baby
Me:Siy
aleav
eher
.St
ayher
ewi
thmeandy
our
daught
er
Hi
m:baby
Me:
Ican'
tdot
hisi
fyouar
en'
tmi
ne.
 
Hi
m:butIam
Me:
no.y
ouar
en'
t
Hi
m:(
sil
ence)
Me:j
ustt
ell
met
het
rut
h.Pl
ease.Justt
ell
me
why
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe 
me:
theni
guessy
oushoul
dgo
hi
m:soi
don'
tgett
hebenef
itoft
hedoubt
 
Me:
that
'swhatI
'
vegi
veny
out
hroughoutour
mar
ri
age
Hi
m:Iknow.But
 
Me:
tel
lme
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:
Please
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tgi
veupdoy
ou?
Me:
no
Hi
m:canweatl
eastsi
tdown
Me:
ok

Wewentt
othel
oungeandSi
yasatopposi
te
me

Him:Afewy earsago,bef
oremyf atherpassed
away.Hewasget ti
ngreadytomakemechi ef,
butiwasn'tr
eady.Hewantedmet otakeawi f
e
fi
rst
,soiranofftothefor
ceinst
ead.

Me:
okandt
hen
Him: wheni wasdonewi t
hmyt r
aini
ngi went
backhome, tovisi
tandIfoundoutt hatMy
Fatherandt hechiefofLesothohaddeci dedI
wouldt akeNalediasmywi f
e.Atthattimei was
alr
eadywi thLindasoi ref
used.Iabandonedmy
familyandwentbackt otheforce.

Me:
and

Hi
m:Thenmydi
edandmyuncl
etookov
er.He
thendeci dedthati
fiwasn'tgoingmar r
yNaledi,
theywoul dgivehertoDumi sani,whichwas
perfectforme.SoNal ediwast akent oKZNt o
visi
t.Itwasjustforhertofamili
arizehersel
f
wi t
hourcul t
ureandformymom t oseeher.

Me:
oh

Hi
m: unti
lonedayIwenthomeunannounced.I
f
oundNal edi
brui
sed,st
arv
edandRaped
r
epeatedl
ybyDumi sani

Me:
OhGosh

Him:Irushedhertothehospi
tal
and
unfor
tunatel
ythedamagehadbeendone.She
hadbeenhur tsobadlyt
hatshewoul
dn'
tbe
abl
etohav echil
dren.
Me:
wher
ewasy
ourmot
her

Hi
m: Shewasawayatthet i
me.Dumisani
'
sfi
rst
wif
ewassupposedt obet heret
otakecar
eof
Naledi.Butshel
eti
thappen.

Me:
wow

Him:itookNaledibacktoherfami l
yand
beggedforfor
givenessonbehal fofmyf amil
y.
Thekinghowev erwasnthavingit.Hewanted
herwedbecausewehaddamagedher .Somy
uncl
emadeav owt hatIwouldbet heoneto
marryhersi
nceshehadi nit
iall
ybeenpr omised
tome.

Me:
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me?
Hi m:becauseRi f
il
oe.Howdoi dissapointher
again?HowdoIsayno, wheniwast oblamefor
whatDumi sani
did?I fonl
yihaddonewhatmy
fatherwant edyearsago,shewouldn'thave
beenhur t
.Shewoul dn'
tbeli
vi
ngwi t
ht he
traumerthatshel i
veswi t
h

Me:
butSi
yat
hiswasn'
tyourf
aul
t

Him: Ri
fi
loe,Dumi sani
didn'
thurtandrapeher
becausehewant edher.Hediditbecause
Naledihadtoldhim shedidn'
twanthi m.She
hastoldhimt hatshewasi nlov
ewi thmeand
wouldnev erwantme.Soheabusedher
becauseofhi shat r
edforme.

Me:
whyi
sn'
thei
njai
l
?
Hi
m:TheChi
efsbot
hdeci
dedi
twasbestf
oe
t
hist
obedeal
twit
hint
hefami
l
y

Me:
Isee

Him: Ri
fi
loe.Idon'
tloveNaledi
.Ihavenev er
.
Buticannotgobackonmywor d.Ipromised
herfamil
yi wouldtakecareofher,andit
smy
dutytodoso.Themi l
i
tarydeali
sjusttoseal
thepact.

Me:
(Si
gh)

Him:
pleaset
ell
mey
ouunder
standwher
eIm
comi
ngf r
om.

Il
ookedatSiyaandknewhewastel
li
ngthe
tr
uth.Iwant
edtotel
lhi
mitwasok.Thatiwoul
d
supporthi
m.Buthowdoi shar
emyhusband
wit
hadamsel indist
ress.Whatguar
anteedi
di
havethathewouldn'
tfall
forher
?Buthowdoi
tel
lhi
mt oleav
eherformewhenshehadbeen
thr
oughsomuch?

Iknewt henthatihadnochoice.Ihadto
div
or ceSiy
asot hatHecouldmov eonwithher
.
may beintimehewoul dfal
li
nlovewithher,
and
hecoul dgiveherthel
oveshedeserves.
[
05/
15,
19:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

165

Isatinsil
encetryi
ngtofi
gureoutwhattodo.
Siyawast helov
eofmyl i
febutthewaythings
stood,l
uckwasn'texact
lyinmyf av
our.
Everyt
hingthathashappenedjustmadethings
sodiffi
cul
t.Wewer epul
li
ngv ast
lyi
ndif
feret
di
rect
ionsandther
ewasn'tawaytobet oget
her.
Hewaspr omi
sedtoNalediandi
justdidn'
tsee
mysel
fbeinginapoly
gamousmar r
iage.

Hi
m:Saysomet
hing 
Me:
(si
l
ence)
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe
Me:
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dleav
e 
Hi
m:but
Me:
nowSi
ya.Justgo 
Hi
m:Whatj
usthappened 
Me:
Youneedt
ogo.Youcant
akeLesedi
t
omorr
ow
Hi
m;j
ustwai
tmi
nut
enow.
 
Me:Siya.Youandineedtol
etgoofone
another
.Wecan'tkeepfi
ght
ingl
iket
his.You
choseheroverusandthati
stheendofit.So
nowwebot hjusthavet
omov eon
Hi
m:I
sthatwhaty
ouwant
Me:yes.Asl
ongasIam noty
ourpr
ior
it
y,t
henI
hav
et omoveon 
Hi
m:babyy
ouar
eapr
ior
it
y
Me:howSiy
a?Whenhav eIeverbeenapr i
ori
ty?
Youhaveal
waysputotherpeopl
efir
st.SonowI
am t
ir
edofbei
nglastandiwantout.
 
Hi
m:f
ine
Me:
Fine
Hi
m:f
uckt
his.

Si
yagotupt
oleav
e.

Hi
m:soyoureal
l
ydoingt
his?Af
terever
ythi
ngI
j
ustt
oldy
ou.Youst
il
lwanttogoaheadwi t
hthe
di
vor
ce
Me:
yea 
Hi
m: Ihopey
our
eal
i
set
haty
ou'
remaki
nga
mi
stake 
Me:Si
ya.Justgo.Andmakesur
eyousi
gn
t
hoseDamnpaper s
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
sigh
Hi
m:cool

Si
yawal
kedoutandi
fel
tli
keapar
tofmehad
di
ed.

Iwentt
omyr oom andwenttobed.Hopeful
l
yI
wouldwakeupandthingswoul
dbediffer
ent

OnSat
urdaymor
ningSi
yasentmeatextl
ett
ing
meknownhewasonhiswaytofet
chLesedi
.
Igotuptogetherr
eady
,thenwentt
omakeher
breakf
ast
.

WhenSiyaar r
ivedhel
ookedtensebutipai
dno
att
enti
ontohim.Iknewtheconv er
sat
ionwe
hadlast
nightwouldmakethi
ngsl i
ket
his.

Hi
m:i
ssher
eady
Me;
yes.She'
sinhercot

Si
yahandedanenv
elopeov
ert
ome.

Me:
Whati
sthi
s 
Hi
m;t
hesi
gnedpaper
s

Il
ookedupathi
m andisawamask.This
wasn'
tSi
ya.I
nst
eaditwasGhostandi
knewI
hadt
otr
eadl
i
ght
ly

Me;
thanky
ou

Siy
aleftmeinthekit
chenandwenttofet
ch
Lesedi
.Itookoutt
hepaper'
sfr
om theenvel
ope
andindeedhehadsignedt
hem.

Iinstantl
yhadal umpi nmyt hroat.Idon'
tknow
why .ButlastnightIthoughtmay behewoul d
reconsider.Ihopedhewoul d'veseent hi
ngs
from mypoi ntofv i
ew, butclearl
yIwaswr ong,
becauseher eIwaswi thpaper sinmyhand.

Itr
iedt
onotcr
y.Idi
dn'twanttoinf
rontofhi
m,
butmytear
sweren'
tcooperat
ing.

Ihear
dSi
yaandLesedi
comi
ngdown.SoI
wi
pedmyey es,
andhopedLesedicoul
dn'
tfeel
t
henegat
iveenergysur
roundi
ngme.

Hi
m: we'
reof
f.I
'
llbr
ingherbackt
omor
row
af
ter
noon
Me:
(sni
ff
)cool
Hi
m:Rif
il
oe.Whyareyoucry
ing.Yousai
dyou
want
edout.Thi
siswhaty
ousaidy ouwant
. 
Me:
I'
mjustbei
ngsi
l
ly.Youguy
sshoul
dgo

Si
yaputLesedii
nherhighchai
rthencame
backandpul
ledmeintoahug.

Hi
m;I'
m sor
ryRif
il
oe.Forever
ythi
ng.Idi
dn'
t
meanforal
loft
histohappen.
 
Me:
(cr
ying)
Hi
m:Justt
ell
met
oteart
hem upandi
wil
l
. 
Me:what
'st
heuse?You'
dst
il
lmar
ryher
.
Not
hingwoul
dchange
Hi
m:(
sil
ence)

Ist
eppedawayfr
om Siy
aandhegavemeone
l
astki
ss.Thenpi
ckedupLesedi
andt
heyl
eft
.

Il
ockedmydoorsandwenttomyr oom and
cr
iedmylungsout
.Thiswasit
.Therewasno
moreSiy
aandFifi
.Itwasov
er.

IspenttherestomySat urdayinbed.Iat
ejunk
anddr ankwineti
l
lIcouldn'tt
akeanymore.All
I
wantedwast ofil
lthevoidbutther
ewasnoone
tohelp.

Ihadnoone.Noparents,nofr
iends,
noone.
Theonl
ypersonIhadleftint
hewor l
dwasnow
wasLesedi
,andt
hatwasi
t.

Ievent
ual
l
yf el
lasleepi
nmyt ear
s,andwentto
theonl
yplacewithnopain,
andthatwassleep.

Wakingupthefoll
owi
ngmorni
ngwi
tha
hangoverofnot
e.Mymouthwasdr
yandi
just
coul
dseem toli
ftupmyhead.

Itr
iedignor
ingmyphone,butwhoeverwas
cal
lingwaspersist
entasf
uck.SoIhadno
choicebuttoanswer

Me:
Hlokes.Whatt
hef
uck?
Hi
m:I
'
vebeenr
ingi
ngy
ourbel
ll
ikecr
azy
 
Me:
you'
reout
side 
Hi
m:y
es,
nowopenup.I
'
mfl
i
ppi
nghungr
y
Me:
mxm

Iputdownt
hecal
l
,andbuzzedhi
min.
 
HlokescAmei nl
ooki
nglikeRambo.Ihadn't
seenhiminawhilebecauseofhi
swor k,andhe
hadclear
lybeenl
ivi
nginthegym

Hi
m:wel
l
,it
sni
cet
oseey
out
oo
Me:
shhh.Myheaddude 
Hi
m:y
ou'
vebeendr
inki
ng
Me:yes.NowI'
m goi
ngtofr
eshenup.You
bett
ermakesuremybreakf
asti
sreadybythe
ti
meIcomedown
Hi
m:y
esmam

Ir
anupst
air
sandt
ookani
cel
ongshower
.I
br
ushedmyt
eet
h,t
hengotdr
essed.

BythetimeIgotdownst
air
sbreakf
astwas
readyandwassmelli
ngmagical

Me:
smel
l
sgood
Hi
m:si
tdownandeat

Isatont
hecount
erandst
art
edeat
ing.

Him:Soyourmant
ell
smehesi
gnedt
he
paper
's 
Me:
yep
Hi
m:howdoy
ouf
eel
Me:
numb
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
ethi
siswhaty
ouwant
 
Me:
no.Butf
ormysake.Ihadnochoi
ce.
 
Hi
m:Iknow 
Me:
sowhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e 
Hi
m:checki
ngonmyf
ri
end 
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:dony
ouneedany
thi
ng 
Me:
Not
hanky
ou.I
'
m good
Him:justl
etmeknowshoul
dyouneed
anyt
hing 
Me:
Iwi
l
l 
Hi
m;t
hanksf
orbr
eakf
ast
.Ineedt
ogo
Me:
HowsBoni
adOwami
 
Hi
m: they
'r
egood.Wegotengagedl
ast
weekend
Me:
wow.Congr
ats 
Hi
m:t
hanky
ou
Me:
Boni
mustbeexci
ted 
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dphoneherandf
indout
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
'sagoodi
dea.
 
Hi
m:Iwon'
tpush
Me:
thanks

Hlokesl
eftal
i
ttl
ewhi
l
elat
er,
leav
ingmet
omy
bori
ngself
.

Ideci
dedt
oe-mail
mylawy ert
olethim know
Siy
ahadsi
gnedthepaper'
s.Heresponded
al
mostimmedi
atel
yaskingmet odropthem of
f.

SoIgotdr essedandl ef
tforhisoffices.Iwas
rat
hersurprisedthathewor kedonSat ur
day '
s,
butnonet helessIwasgl ad,becauseatl east
theprocesswoul dgetgoing.Thef asterwe
l
odgedt hemor ewewoul dbeablet omov eon.
Therewasnousepr ol
ongingtheinev i
table.I
wasnol ongerMr sNdhlov uandthesoonerI
acceptthatthebetter.
[
05/
15,
19:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

166

Leavi
ngt heattor
neyoffi
cewasdi f
ficult
.Since
Siyasignedthatwouldmeant hatwewoul dbe
div
orcedi namat t
erofdays.IwishedIcoul d
sayIwashappy ,
butdeepinsideIwasbr oken.
InafewweeksSi yawouldbemar r
iedt oNaledi
andthatjustmademyst omacht urn.Ijust
hopedt hatwit
htimeIwouldbeabl etogetov er
Siya,
becauseseei nghi
m withherisn’ tgoi
ngt o
beeasy .

Iwenttoarestauranttohavecoff ee,
andjob
huntedsomemor e.Ineededtof indaj ob
beforeIdr
ovemy selfcrazy
.Stayingathome
24/7isn’
texact
lymyki ndofthing.IknowI
di
dn’tneedthemoneybutIwasn’ tthestayat
homeal
ldayt
ype.
 
Aftermycoff
ee,Ididsomeshopping,thenwent
backtothehouse.SiyaandLesediar
ri
v edjust
asIhadfini
shedcleaningt
hehouse.Het ook
Lesedit
oherroom tonap,thenback
downstai
rs

Hi
m;Hi
 
Me;
Hi
Him;I
’m sor
ryIboughtherbacksoonert
han
normal
 
Me;
Itsf
ine 
Hi
m;Il
eav
eforCTt
oni
ght
 
Me;
Hav
easaf
etr
ip 
Hi
m;Iheary
ouwentt
oseey
ourl
awy
er 
Me;yes.Heshoul
dlodgeonMonday,and
hopef
ull
ywewi l
lbedi
vorcedbef
orey
ouget
marri
ed 
Hi
m;mhmm
Me;
ist
her
eany
thi
ngel
se?
Hi
m;Imi
ssy
ou 
Me;
youshoul
dgo 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.
 
Me;
noSi
ya.Youshoul
dgo 
Him;notbef
orewedi
scusspl
ansort
henext
coupl
eofweeks
Me;
Plans?
Hi
m; IwantLesedi
andy
out
obeatt
he
wedding 
Me;youmustbeoutofyourdamnmind.Iwi
ll
nothav
emychildanywher
enearyourf
amily
 
Hi
m;Ibegy
ourpar
don
Me;
youhear
dme
Him;Ri
fi
loe.Thepr
esswi
ll
bethere.Noone
knowswear eget
ti
ngdi
vor
ced.AndIwantto
keepi
tthatway
 
Me;youarehonest
lycr
azy.Iwi
ll
notbe
att
endingany
thi
ngrel
ati
ngtoyouandyour
famil
y 
Hi
m;Yousur
eashel
lwi
l
l 
Me;Gody ouaresoar r
ogant.Wearediv
orci
ng
andy oustil
lthi
nky oucandict
atewhatIdo.
Well.Thatshitai
nthappening.Iwi
ll
notatt
end
thi
sweddi ngofy oursandneit
herwil
lmy
daughter 
Him;y
oumeanourdaughter.Andy ouwil
lbein
KZNandonyourbestbehaviour
,especi
all
yif
youwantt
hatdi
vor
cefinal
ised 
Me;
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
 
Hi
m;not
hing.Justmakesur
eyouar
einKZN
Me;
I’
m notmaki
nganypr
omi
ses 
Hi
m;I
’
llhav
eGhostpi
cky
ouupont
heFr
iday
 
Me;
Siy
a
Him;Rif
il
oe.Iam notarguingwi t
hy ouont his.If
Ihavetogothroughwi t
ht hi
s,thensodoy ou.I
havegrant
edy ouyourdivorce.Thel eastyou
candoispretendtostil
lbemar r
iedf orone
weekend,andthenafterthatyoucangoonwi t
h
yourl
if
e. 
Me;
I’
m notdoi
ngt
his
Hi
m;Theny
oul
eav
emenochoi
ce

Si
yat
ookouthi
sphoneandIsnat
chedi
tfr
om
hi
m

Me;
siy
adon’
tyoudar
e 
Hi
m;andwhynot
 
Me;becauseIam notYOURSanymore.You
cannotmakemedot hingsIdon’
twantt
odo 
Him;youhonest
lyseem t
ofor
getwhoy
ouar
e
deal
i
ngwi t
h
Me;
Siy
a,whatdoy
oumean
Him;Nothing.Justmakesur
ethaty ouareat
thi
sstupidwedding.Makesur
ey ouar et
he
support
ingseniorwif
e,andmostimpor t
ant
ly
makesur eyoudonotgiveanyinter
views.
None 
Me;
what
ever
 
Hi
m;andmakesur
eyouar
en’
tseeni
npubl
i
c
wi
thanymal
efi
gur
es 
Me;
Siy
a.st
op
Hi
m;I
’
m ser
iousRi
fi
loe.
 
Me;
Howmuchl
ongerdoy
oupl
anont
ort
uri
ng
me 
Hi
m; notmuchlonger.Justdothi
sforme,
Pl
ease.Aft
erthisyoucangoandl i
veyourli
fe
wi
thoutint
erf
erencefrom me.wewill
tel
lthe
pr
essthatwegr ewapartandther
efor
edivorced
Me;whydowehavetoli
e?Wedidn’
tgr
owapar
t.
Youri
ppedusapar
tbyagreei
ngt
omarry
anot
herwoman 
Him;Iknowt hat
,buttheChi
eft
aincycannot
aff
ordanybadpr essatthemoment .Andnews
ofourdivor
cer i
ghtbefor
eIgetmarriedwoul
d
causeashitstorm 
Me;
FineSi
ya.Butaf
tert
hiswear
edone 
Hi
m;ok 
Me;
youcangonow 
Hi
m;Doyouhat
emethatmucht
haty
oucan’
t
ev
enbei
nthesamer
oom wit
hme
Me;
Siy
aofcour
senot
.I 
Hi
m;I
tsf
ine.I
’
llgo

Hegavemeasmal
lki
ssont
hel
i
ps,
andIt
ooka
st
epback

Me;
don’
t 
Hi
m;t
ell
mey
oudon’
tLov
eme 
Me;
youknowIdon’
t 
Hi
m;r
eal
l
y 
Me;
Yes 
Hi
m;wel
l
.Idon’
tbel
i
evey
ou 
Me;
youmi
ghtaswel
ltr
y 
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
oki
ssy
ouagai
n

Il
ookedatSi
yaandhehadt
hatpl
ayf
ulsmi
l
eon
hi
sface.

Me;
don’
tyoudar
e 
Hi
m;andwhat
sgoi
ngt
ost
opme 
Me;
me 
Hi
m;r
eal
l
y 
Me;
yes.Real
l
y
Siy
atookonesteptowar
dsmeandIran
l
aughingt
owardsthepoolt
abl
e,sot
hatIwoul
d
havesomethi
ngbetweenus

Me;
yougott
obef
astar
oundher
eMrNdhl
ovu 
Hi
m;l
et’
smakeadeal
 
Me;
I’
mli
steni
ng 
Hi
m; i
fyoucomewi ll
ingl
y,Iwon’
tdoany
thi
ng
i
nappropr
iat
e.Exceptforki
ssi
ngyou
Me;
(chuckl
es)
 
Him;or,
Irunaft
eryouandcatchyou.Andi
fI
happentocat
chy outhenIgett
otake
advant
ageofthosejui
cyli
ps 
Me;
nodeal
Hi
m;I
nthatcaseIam comi
ngf
ory
ou 
Me;
Siy
a
Si
yal
ungedt
owar
dsmeandIr
an,
awaygi
ggl
i
ng

Hi
m; y
ougetonemorechancetosur
render
.
Af
tert
hatIwi
llshownomercy 
Me;
Siy
a(gi
ggl
es)St
op
Hi
m:ki
ssme 
Me;
No 
Hi
m;one,
two 
Me;
SII
II
YYYAAA
Hi
m;wel
l
.Her
eIcome.

Iranupt
hest
airsandSi
yacaughtupt
ome,
and
heldmefr
om behi
nd

Hi
m;It
oldy
ouI
’
dnev
ert
rul
yletgo 
me;
wel
lIt
hinky
oushoul
d
Hetur
nedmearoundandIl
ookedupathi
s
dr
eamybrowneyes

Hi
m;CanIki
ssmywi
fe 
Me;
I’
m noty
our
Si
yai
nter
rupt
edmebyput
ti
nghi
sli
psonmi
ne.

Hi
m;y
out
alkt
oomuch

Ibreat
hedinthi
sscentandswal
lowed.Iwant
ed
tostophi
m, butIj
ustdi
dn’
tknowifIcoul
d

Hi
m;Il
ovey
ouRi
fi
loe,
wit
hev
eryi
nchofme
Me;
Si

Si
yaki
ssedmehungr
il
yandIki
ssedhi
m back
wit
hnor egret
.Idon’tknowwhatthist
hing
bet
weenuswas, butIhonestl
ydon’
tknowhow
Iam supposedtogetov erhi
m wit
hhistongue
downmyt hroat.
 
Ibr
oket
heki
ssandhesmi
l
ed

Hi
m;I
’
llseey
ouatt
heweddi
ng 
Me;
Fine 
Hi
m;Thanky
ou 
Me;
It’
sapl
easur
e 
Hi
m;doy
ouhav
esomet
hingt
oeat
 
Me;
haaSi
ya.I
’
m noty
ourwi
fer
emember
 
Hi
m;wel
l
.Techni
cal
l
y 
Me;
mxm.Come.I
’
llmakey
ouasal
ad 
Hi
m; Sal
ad?Haai
changi
yabonga.I
’
drat
her
st
arv
e 
Me;
wel
lIam notcooki
ngf
ory
ou 
Hi
m;l
etsor
der
 
Me;
don’
tyouhav
etogett
oCT 
Hi
m;Wel
lIownaj
etdon’
tI 
Me;
Iknowt
hat
 
Hi
m;soletmespendt
imewi
tht
hemot
herof
mychi
l
d. 
Me;
ok

Wewentdownstai
rsandSi
yaorder
eddi
nner
whi
l
eIsatonthecouchwatchi
ngTV 
Aft
eror
der
ingSi
yaputmylegsonhi
slapand
gavemeafootmassage

Hi
m; r
emembert
hef
ir
stt
imeIcamet
oyour
pl
ace? 
Me;Yahh.I
twastheni
ghty
oupi
ckedmeup
f
rom ChafPozi
 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)Thi
ngswer
esosi
mpl
ethen 
Me;
yaah 
Hi
m;andr
ememberthatt
imey
ou’
remot
her
f
oundmeiny
ourhouse 
Me;(chuckl
es)y
ahh,thatwasembarr
assi
ng.
Especi
all
ywheny oucamedownstai
rswit
hthe
wholebabywhowasatt hedoor
 
Hi
m;(chuckl
es)howwasIsupposedt
oknow
t
haty
ourmot herwasdownst
air
s. 
Me;
Ithi
nkIsawy
ougopal
e 
Hi
m;Inear
lypeedi
nmypant
s 
Me;
Giggl
es 
Hi
m;wewer
esogoodt
hen.
 
Me;
I(si
gh)
 
Him;Ir
emembert hatdayImetyou.Youlooked
l
ikeyouwerefr
om thepageofamagazi ne.You
t
urnedmeont hemomenty ouopenedy ou
mouthabouthandli
ngmyportfol
io.It
ri
edso
hardtoremembert hatIwasonl ytherebecause
Ineedtof indbul
l
et,buteverytimey ouspoke
myheartj umpedabeat .Afterweconcl udedt he
meeti
ng, Iwenttolunchwi t
hsomef ri
ends, and
Il
ookupandt hereyouareor deri
nglunch.I
l
ookedaty ouandwonder edhowy oursmi l
e
was.Orhowy oulookedwheny ou’
reasl eep. 
Me;
that
’ski
ndofcr
eepy
 
Hi
m;Icoul
dn’
thel
pbuti
magine,
howy
ouwoul
d
l
ookwhenImadelov
etoyou
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;whenyout oldmey ouwereinChafPozi
,I
wasattheoffi
ce.Ihadt ogett
oCTbecause
t
herewasani ssuewi t
hCUBA.ButIcouldn’
t
t
hinkofleav
ingy ou.Notwit
hallt
hosemenwi t
h
you 
Me;
that
’sj
ustsi
l
ly 
Him;y
ah.Thatwasthebeginni
ngofmy
downf
all
.If
ucki
ngfellhar
d 
Me;
Chuckl
es 
Him;Ijustwi
shwecoul dmakethi
swor k,but
hereIam agai
nony ourcouchandwear eint
he
middleofadivor
ce.I’
m aboutt
omar rya
womanIhav enof eel
i
ngsforwhatsoever
. 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him; I’
m notsay i
ngyoushouldf or
giveme.I
meanwhatwomani nherri
ghtmi ndwould
forgi
v ewhatI’vedone.I
tjustsucks,becauseI
reall
yt houghtwehaddonei t.Wewer emar r
ied
andt hingsweregoingtobej ustfi
ne 
Me;
May
bei
tjustwasn’
tmeantt
obe 
Him;Idon’
tthi
nkso.It
hinkIj
ustr
eal
l
yscr
ewed
up 
Me;
yes.Pr
ett
ymuch 
Hi
m;woul
dyouev
erconsi
dert
aki
ngmeback 
Me;inanotherworl
dmaybe.Butrightnowit
s
bestthatweareapart
.Maybejustbefri
ends 
Hi
m;f
ri
endswi
thbenef
it
s 
Me;nobenef
it
s.Justf
ri
end.Par
ent
’sco-
par
enti
ng
Hi
m;haai
.Idon’
tknowaboutt
hat
 
Me;
Itsei
thert
hatornot
hing
Hi
m;wel
l
.Fr
iendsi
tis 
Me;
shakeoni
t 
Him;I’
m massagi
ngyourf
eet
.That
’st
he
handshakey
ouget 
Me;
fine

Siyastayedforacoupleofmor ehours.Wehad
dinneranddiscussedhisupcomi ngwedding.I
don’tknowwhatwewer edoing,butIwasgl ad
wecoul djustTal
kwi t
houtendingupintoaf ight
.
Hopef ul
l
ywecoul djustkeepthisupand
eventual
lywecoul dbejusttwoparentstaki
ng
careofourdaught ert
ogether.
[
05/
15,
19:
47]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

167

Il
ookedatSi
yaandIonthecouchandf
ort
he
fi
rstt
imei
nforev
ert
herewasnoanger.

Ididn’
that
ehim,infactIdon’tevenwi
sh
anythi
ngbadforhim.Ijustenjoy
edbei
ng
aroundhimtal
ki
ngaboutwher ewecomefr
om.

Il
ov edhi m wi
thev er
ythi
nginme, butIwasn’
t
i
nterest edi
nbei nghi
ssecond,buthewasmy
daught er’
sfatherandthatmeantwewoul d
havet obei neachother’
sli
ves,andusbeing
cordialwouldjusthavetodo.

Si
yadi
dn’
tendupgoi
ngt
oCTi
nst
eadhespent
theweekinJHBwithus.Heinsi
steditwas
becausehehadbusinesstot
akecareofat
NdhlovuCor
p.butdeepdownIknewi twas
becausehewasavoidinggoi
ngbacktothatbi
g
asslonel
yhouseofhis.

Myat t
orneyhadcontactedmeduri
ngt heweek
toletmeknowhehadl odgedt
hedivorce
papers.I
twasnowonl yamat t
eroft
imet i
ll
we
weredivorced,
andherewewer epl
ayinghouse.

Si
yawassleepi
nginthesparebedroom
downst
air
s,whi
leLesediandIStay
edupst
air
s.

Iknowi twasinappropr
iatetohavehim here
seeingthathewillbemarriedsoon,ButIreal
ly
enjoyedbeingherewithhim.Her espectedmy
spaceandhar dl
yev ert
ouchedme.I nsteadhe
wasj ustbei
ngagr eatfat
herandanev enbetter
fr
iendtomeandIwasn’ texact
lysurethatt
hat
wasagoodt hi
ng,becauseIwasst ar
ti
ngt o
wonderift
hiscoul
d’vebeenus.Couldwehav e
beenthi
shappy?

Ihadbeent oacoupleofinter
viewsandnail
ed
them all
.Irecei
ved2offer
soutofthe5andI
wentwi t
htheonet hatwasmor efl
exi
blet
ime
wise,becauseofLesedi.
 
Iwasduetost
artinJanuar
yandSi
yaandIhad
deci
dedt
hatLesediwouldgot
opreschool
next
year
.

IspentmostofmyFr
idaywit
hLesedi
,wewer
e
i
nt hegar
denwhenSi
yaarri
vedf
rom wor
k.

Hi
m;Hey
..
.Myt
wof
avour
it
ewoman
Me;
Hey
HetookLesedif
rom meandspunheraround.
Lesedil
ovedi
twhenhedidthatandqui
te
fr
anklyi
tscar
edmebecauseIthoughthewould
dropit
.

Siyaf
inall
yputherdownandt ookherinsi
deto
thenannytogetcleanedup,
whi l
eIstayedin
thegarden,soaki
nguptheson.

Siy
acameout
sideandsatnextt
ome,
and
handedmeagl
assofjui
ce

Hi
m;Iwast
hinki
ng 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;weshoul
dgof
ordi
nner
 
Me;
dinner
?
Hi
m;y
aah.Idon’
tfeel
li
kecooki
ng 
Me;you’
vebeenl
ivi
ngher
erentf
reefort
hepast
week.Thel
easty
oucandoiscook 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)
 
Me;Youneedt
ogobackSi
ya.Youcan’
tst
op
av
oidi
ngyourl
i
fef
orev
er
Hi
m;Yout
alkt
oomuch 
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;SoDi
nner
?
Me;
whenar
eyoul
eav
ing 
Him;OhgoshIhav enoi
dea.I’
m st
art
ingto
thi
nkIshouldbuyahouseinJHBagain.Isaw
onedownt heroadfr
om her
e 
Me;
hay
i.Si
yaIdon’
twanty
oul
i
vingi
nJHB 
Him; Ri
fi
loe.Theheadof
fi
cetomycompanyi
s
here.OfcourseIwantahouseher
e 
Me;
Whynotl
i
vei
nthehousei
nSandt
on 
Hi
m;t
oomanymemor
ies.I
’
m sel
l
ingi
t 
Me;
mhmmm 
Hi
m;canwegot
odi
nner
?I’
m st
arv
ing 
Me;
I’
ll
getLesedi
ready
 
Hi
m;It
hinkshe’
sasl
eep.Soi
tlooksl
i
kei
t’
sjust
t
he2ofus 
Me;
Siy
aIdon’
tthi
nk 
Hi
m;st
opt
hinki
ngandl
etsgo

Irol
ledmyeyesandwenttofet
chmypur se.I
checkedandLesedi
wasindeedfastasl
eep.
 
Igav
eheraki
ssandl
eftwi
thSi
yaf
ordi
nner
.

Me;
sowher
ear
egoi
ngf
ordi
nner
?
Hi
m;Iwast
hinki
ngmay
beLuce 
Me;
howv
eryconv
eni
ent
 
Hi
m;what
 
Hi
m;Si
yat
hev
erysamepl
acewehadourf
ir
st
dat
e 
Hi
m;Il
i
ket
hef
ood 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;I
’
m ser
ious 
Me;
(si
gh)

Wesatatt heexactsamet ablewesatatl ast

ti
me.Wet alkedandj ustenjoyedeachot her’
s
company .Ir ecei
vedanemai lf
rom myl awyer
j
ustaswehador der
eddesser t.Iwentthrough
theemailandi tconf
irmedt hatourdivorcewas
fi
nali
sed.Il ookedatmyr ingandswal lowed
pastthebigl umpi nmyt hroat.

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Whati
sit
?
ME;
ourdi
vor
cehasbeenf
inal
i
sed

Si
yaputdownhi
sgl
assandIgav
ehi
m my
phone.

Hi
m;sot
hisi
sitha 
Me;
yahh,
Iguessso 
Hi
m;Ican’
tbel
i
evewewentt
hroughwi
tht
his 
Me;
Ineedt
ogot
othel
adi
es 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe
Me;act
uall
y,canwego?I
’
mfeel
i
ngabi
t
l
ight
headed 
Hi
m;ok.I
’
llgett
hebi
l
l 
ItookSiya’skeysandwentt othecar
,whil
ehe
paidfordinner.Ineededtocrymyeyesoutfor
amomentandIwant edt
odoi ti
npri
vat
e. 
Ihonest
lyhavenoideawhyIwascryi
ng.Iwas
theonewhowant edthi
s,sowhywoul
dIbet hi
s
heartbr
oken.
Iwipedmyt ear
saway,
justasSiy
aappr
oached
thecar.Hecameinandlookedatme

Hi
m;y
ou’
vebeencr
ying 
Me;
I’
mjustbei
ngsi
l
ly 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
Let
sgohome 
Hi
m;ok

Wedr ovehomei nsi

lence.Theri
deseemed
l
ongerthanjust15mi nut
es.Ihadsomany
thi
ngsgoingthroughmymi nd.Iwassingl
e.I
hadn’tf
oughthardenoughf ormyfamil
y.Lesedi
wouldn’
tgrowupwi thbothmeandherf ather
.

Thisweekhadledmetobeli
evethatwewere
ok.Thatwewereafamil
y.EventhoughSi
ya
stayedi
nthesparer
oom,andthatwehadn’t
beeni nti
mat einsolong.Butforthef i
rstt i
mei n
ourrelati
onshipwewer enor
mal .Hel eftat8am
togot owor k,andhewasbackby5pm.He
wouldputLesedi t
obed.Hewoul dn’ttakecal l
s
athome.Hewasgent le.Hewasev erythingthat
Ithoughtt hathewasi nthebeginning.Theonl y
problem wast hathewasdoi ngev erythingI
cri
edandbeggedf orthroughoutourmar ri
age,
atthev eryendofit.

Wear ri
vedhomeandIwentst rai
ghtt
omy
room.Iwant edtomourntheendofmy
marriage,
andt heonl
ywayIknewhowwasby
cryi
ngandl ett
ingt
hepaininmyheartgo.

Siyawal
kedint
omyr oom andlookedatme,
withj
ustasmuchpainref
lectedonhim.Idi
dn’
t
needtosayanyt
hingtohi
m.Hej usttookof
fhi
s
shoesandlayi
nbedcuddlingmeasIcr i
edmy
eyesout.
 
RightnowallIwantedwashim andyethe
wasn’tminetohaveany mor
e.Inst
eadhewas
goingtobesomeoneel sehusband.Al
lbecause
Icouldn’
tst
ickitout.
[
05/
15,
21:
32]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

168

WakingupinSiya’sarmswasconf usingand
worm asever.Siyawaswr appedupinmeand
br
eathingwarmlyonmyneck.Iwant edtotell
hi
mt omov ebutIwast oocomf ort
able.SoI
dr
ift
edbackt osleepandletmy sel
fbeli
evethat
wewer eok.Atleasti
nmydr eamswewer e
l
iv
ingourhappilyeveraft
er

WhenIfi
nal
lywokeupagai
nSi
yawasn’ti
nbed.
Il
ookedatt
heti
meanditwasaft
er9:
00am. 
Igotupandwentdownst
air
s,andf
oundSi
yai
n
t
heki
tchen.

Hi
m;mor
ning 
Me;
mor
ning 
Me;
wher
e’sLesedi
?
Hi
m;t
henannyt
ookherf
orawal
k 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;Howy
ouf
eel
i
ng 
Me;I’
m goi
ngt
ogoshower
.I’
l
ltel
lyouwhenI
’
m
done 
Hi
m;I
’
llmakebr
eakf
ast
 
Me;
Thanky
ou

Iwentupstai
rs,andti
diedupmyroom,t
hen
wenttotakeashower .Godonl
yknowswhat
thi
sdayhaspl annedf
orme.
Iwentdownstai
rsandSiyaandfoundSiyaon
hi
sphone.Icoul
dtellhewasabi tf
rust
ratedso
Ideci
dedtoeasedrop.Idon’
tknowwhy ,butfor
somereasonIwasjealousbecauseIknewit
wasNaledi

Hi
m;Naledi
.Isai
dIwasgoi
ngt
odot
his.Sol
et
mebeforGod’ssake 
Her;
ButSiyay
ouhaven’
tbeeni
nvol
vedwi
th
pl
anningt
heweddi
ng. 
Hi
m;y
oucanhandl
ethatmos
Her;
Iknow,Butweareduet
obewedi
naweek
andyouarenowher
etobefound.
 
Hi
m;I
’
vegott
ogo 
Her
;Si
ya.Wai
t 
Hi
m;what
?
Her;
can’twejustt
ry.Iknowyou’r
eonl
ydoing
t
hisbecauseofwhatDumi sani
didandbecause
thearmydeal.Butcan’twej ustt
ryacti
nglike
husbandandwi fe.May bespendmor eti
me
toget
her.Wear eafterallspendi
ngtherestof
ourli
vestogether.Theleastwecandoi stry 
Hi
m;Nal
edi
.Ihav
etol
dyouIam noti
nter
est
ed
i
nbei
ngwit
hyouli
ket
hat.
 
Her
;whatdoesshehav
ethatIdon’
t 
Hi
m;I
’
m notdi
scussi
ngRi
fi
loewi
thy
ou.

Si
yahunguponher,andIstoodther
ejust
gat
her
ingmysel
f.Thenwalkedint
othekit
chen

Me;
mhmm t
hatsmel
l
sgood 
Hi
m;Omel
ett
e 
Me;
Thanky
ou 
Hi
m;howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng 
Me;
bet
ter
.Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngt
her
e 
Hi
m;Idon’
twantt
obeany
wher
eel
se

Isatatthebr
eakfastcounterandenj
oyedmy
breakf
ast.Whi
leSiyastar
redatme

Me;
what
 
Hi
m;y
ou’
rebeaut
if
ul 
Me;
mcm 
Hi
m;(
giggl
es)
 
Me;
aren’
tyoueat
ing 
Hi
m;Iat
eear
li
er 
Me;
mhmm
Hi
m;mar
ryme 
Me;
hawSi
ya 
Hi
m;I
’
m ser
ious 
Me;youneedtogetbackt
oyourl
i
fe.Andby
nextweekendy
ouwillbemar
ri
ed 
Hi
m;Don’
tremi
ndme

Igotupandwenttowashmyplat
e,thensatin
thel
oungeandSiy
af ol
l
owedme.Icouldtel
l
ther
ewassomethingonhi
smind.

Me;
aren’
tyougoi
ngt
owor
k 
Hi
m;i
t’
saSunday
Me;
wel
lthat
’snev
erst
oppedy
oubef
ore 
Him;well
,Ihavest
affwhoar
ecapabl
eof
handl
ingevery
thi
ng
Me;
ok
Hi
m;babycanIasky
ousomet
hing 
Me;
yes 
Him;I
fIdi
dn’
tmar
ryNal
edi
.Woul
dyout
akeme
back 
Me;
Siy
a 
Him;
Justhearmeout
.IfIf
oundaway
.Woul
d
yout
akemeback
Me;
Idon’
tknow.
Hi
m;whatar
emychances 
Me;
Si
Hi
m;hy
pot
het
ical
l
yspeaki
ng 
Me;
40% 
Hi
m;40%?Damnt
hatl
ow 
Me;wellSi
ya.I
fHypothet
ical
l
yIweretotake
youback.Iwoul
dneedal otf
rom y
ouandquite
f
rankl
yIdon’tt
hinkyouwouldbeablet
ogive
methose 
Hi
m;t
hingl
i
ke?
Me;whyareweevendiscussi
ngthi
s?YouandI
ar
edivor
ced.Ther
e’snoturni
ngback 
Hi
m;Iknow.ButwhatI’
m aski
ngi
sweathery
ou
woul
deverconsi
derbei
ngwi t
hmeagai
n 
Me;
may
be 
Hi
m;t
hat
’sgoodenough 
Me;
Siy
a.Youhav
ethatl
ooki
nyourey
e 
Hi
m;Not
hing.Iam j
ustwei
ghi
ngmyopt
ions 
Me;
Lor
dhel
pusal
l
 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)Ineedaf
avorf
rom y
ou 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;Ineedy
out
obasi
cal
l
ytr
ipl
eyousecur
it
y 
Me;
why
 
Hi
m;because.Justt
rustme 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m; Ri
fi
loe.IknowIhavegivenyounor eason
t
otrustme.ButIbegy ou.Pl
ease.Justgiveme
t
imetopr ov
emy sel
f 
Me;
Siy
athi
s 
Hi
m; shoul
dyoudeci
dey
oudon’
twantmeback
af
terthi
s,t
henfi
ne
Me;
aft
erwhat
 
Hi
m;j
ustl
etmepr
ovemy
sel
ftoy
ou 
ME;
canIt
hinkaboutt
his 
Hi
m;whi
l
eyout
hink.Ineedt
ogo 
Me;
gowher
e 
Hi
m; bet
tery
oudon’
tknow.I
’
llkeepi
ncont
act
t
hough 
Me;i
ncontact?Siy
ayouar
egoingint
oGhost
mode,andthatcanonl
ymeanttr
oubl
e
Hi
m;i
l
lchatt
oyoul
ater

Siy
agotupt oleaveandlef
tmeev enmore
confused.Godonl yknewwhatt hehel
lhewas
upto.Ijustprayedthatwhateveri
twas
wouldn’tmaket hi
ngsanywor sethanthey
al
readywer e.
[
05/
15,
21:
33]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

169
Siy
awentt ohi
sroom andcamedr essedina
sui
t.Ilookedathim andal
ltr
acesofthesweet
mant hatgraceduswi t
hhi
spresencef ort
he
pastcoupleofdayswasgone.Ghosthadr isen
fr
om thedeadandl ookedl
ikehewasr eadyto
ki
ll
. 
Ist
oodupandl
ookedathi
m wi
thanxi
ousness

Hi
m;I
’
llseey
oul
ater
Me;Si
ya.Ihav
eabadfeel
i
ngaboutwhat
ever
youar
eabouttodo 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Ineedt
osor
toutt
hismess.
 
Me;whatmess.Canwej
ustt
alkaboutt
his
bef
oreyoul
eave?
Hi
m;we’
l
ltal
ktoni
ght
 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;I
’
m goi
ngt
ofi
xthi
sRi
fi
loe.Iknowi
tmi
ght
bet
ool
ate.ButIl
ovey
ouandIhav
etof
ixt
his 
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Hi
m;seey
oul
ate

Si
yat
urnedar
oundt
oleav
ebutIhel
dont
ohi
s
ar
m

Me;
wai
t 
Hi
m;what
’swr
ong 
Me;
not
hing.Justki
ssme 
Hi
m;mhmm
Me;
kissme 
Hi
m;damn

Siy
apull
edmei nandkissedmel i
kehehad
neverki
ssedmebefore.Iputmyarmsaround
hi
sneckandjustgaveintoallt
hedesi
resofmy
heart
.Siyawasn’
tperf
ect
.Infacthewascrazy
asfuck.Butnonethel
essIlovedhi
scrazy
.

Webothpul
ledawaybecauseweneededt
o
cat
chourbr
eath

Hi
m;I
’
vemi
ssedy
ou 
Me;
I’
vemi
ssedy
oumor
e 
Hi
m;doest
hismean 
Me;Ohhhhnobuddy.Thi
sdoesn’
tmean
any
thi
ng.Justt
hatIl
ikeyourl
i
ps 
Hi
m;i
sthatal
lyoul
i
ke 
Me;
(gi
ggl
es)nonotexact
ly 
Hi
m;sot
ell
mewhatel
set
ickl
esy
ourf
ancy
 
Me;sor
toutwhateveri
sgoi
ngoni
nyourhead,
andImightj
ustshowyou 
Hi
m;soundsf
un 
Me;
may
be 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Iknowy
oudo
Hi
m;onemor
eki
ss

Il
eanedinandgav
ehi
m aki
ssont
hecheek
andhelef
t.
 
Ithoughtabouthowt hi
ngswer esobadandy et
despit
eit,Ist
il
llovedhi
m withever
ythingi
nme,
butIwasn’tsureifIwouldbeabletoletgoand
putmyhear tinhishands.Iguesst
imewoul d
j
usthav etotell
.

Lesedi’
snannycamebackandwentt oputher
tobed.Ihaddecidedtostartweeni
ngLesedi.I
plannedonbeingbackatwor kinJansoi twas
bestformetostopbr eastf
eedinghersinceshe
wouldbestart
ingpreschoolaswell.Lordonl
y
knowshowIwasgoi ngtocopenotbei ngwith
her24/
7.

SinceIwasinsuchagoodmood, Ideci
dedto
got othemallanddosomeChr i
stmas
shopping.Wehadn’tputupaChri
stmast r
eeyet
,
andIknewhowexci ti
ngthatwouldbefor
Lesedi.AndIhopedSiyawoul
dbehomet ohel
p
putitup.

Ispentmostofmydayatthemall.Idi
dmyhai r
,
nail
s.BoughtsomeChri
stmasgif
tsandfinal
l
y
wenttoar est
aur
antt
ohav esomelunch.

Iorder
edachickensal
ad,andcheckedinon
Lesedi
.ThenlookedupandSawJason
standi
nginf
rontofmewi t
hahugegr i
nonhis
face

Iwr
appedupmycal
lwi
tht
henanny
,andst
ood
t
ogi
veJasonahug

Hi
m;Wel
l
,wel
lwel
l
. 
Me;
hi 
Hi
m;y
oul
ookgood 
Me;
thanky
ou.Sodoy
ou 
Him;Idi
dn’
tknowyouwer
ebacki
ntown.Oh
waithowIcoul
dknowwheny
oublockedal
l
accesstoyou 
Me;
Jase 
Him;don’
tworryabouti
t.If
igur
edy
ouhadgone
backtoyourhusband 
Me;
(si
gh)
 
Hi
m;soy
ou’
rebackt
oget
her
 
Me;
yes.Andwehav
eadaught
er 
Hi
m;wow.Wel
lther
egoesal
lmychances 
Me;
Jasoni
t’
snotl
i
ket
hat
 
Hi
m;don’
twor
ryabouti
t.
 
Me;
joi
nmef
orl
unch 
Hi
m;y
ousur
e?
Me;
yes
Hi
m;t
henI
’
dlov
eto

Wesatt ogetherandcaughtuponev eryt

hing
wehadmi ssedoverthepastyear.I
tf i
nall
yfel
t
goodtoknowt hatatl
eastIsti
llhadonef ri
end
i
nJHBwhoIcoul dtal
ktoonf ri
endlybasis.My
onlyprobl
em nowwasdeal i
ngwi t
hSi ya,
becausehewasgoi ngtofl
ip,whenhef i
ndsout
IgaveJasonmynumber ,
that’
sifhedidn’t
knowal r
eady.

Aft
erlunchwit
hJason,
Iheadedhomeand
deci
dedt ocal
lSi
yaonmywayt her
e
Hi
m;Hi
babe 
Me;
Hey
Hi
m;Whatup 
Me;
youbusy
 
Hi
m;y
es.Butnott
oobusyf
ory
ou 
Me;Iwasjustl
ett
ingyouknowIbumpedint
o
Jasonatt
hemal l
,andhadlunchwi
thhi
m. 
Hi
m;(
sil
ence)
Me;
ohandIgav
ehi
m mynumber
 
Hi
m;(cl
ear
sthr
oat
) 
Me;
okby
e 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
yes 
Him;I
tscool
.Idon’
tli
ket
hewholeJasonthi
ng.
ButIwon’
tst
andinthewayofy
ourfri
endshi
p
Me;
thanky
ou 
Hi
m;ok.I
llseey
out
oni
ght
 
Me;
ok

Siyacutt hecall
,andIreleasedt hebr eathIwas
holding.Siyahadtotall
ysurprisedme.Iwas
expect i
ngat al
kandahal ffr
om hi m, but
i
nst eadheseemedabi tcal
m.Iknowdeep
downhewasonf i
re,butIappr eci
atedt hathe
didn’toverreactortr
yt oblockme.I nsteadhe
sacr i
fi
cedhisfeeli
ngsov ermyf eel
ings.And
thatjustmademel ovehi m mor eandmor e
everyday
[
05/
15,
21:
37]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

170

Ispentt
herestofmydaywi t
hmybabygirl
.I
wantedtoputupthet r
eebutdeci
dedit
’sbett
er
towaitf
orSiya.Hopeful
lyhewoul
dbehome
soon.Iwasalsohopingthathewoul
dtell
me
what
everi
twast hathewasplanni
ngondoing.I
want
edhimt oletmeinandIknowt hatt
hat
woul
dbediffi
cultf
orhim,butIdi
dn’
twantany
moresecr
etsbetweenus.

*
***
***
***
***SI
YA*
***
***
***
***
***
***
*

Speaki ngtoRi f
il
oeaboutJasonwasonehel lof
abitt
erpi llt
oswal low.ButIwasn' tgoi ngtodo
whatIusual l
ydo.Ipl annedonwi nni ngRifi
loe
backandt heonlywayIwasgoi ngt odot hat
wasbychangi ngt hewayIdi dthings.Iwasn' t
comf ortableatallwitht hewholeJason
fr
iendshi pbutRifi
loehadgi venupsomuchf or
me.Thel eastIcoul ddowasgi veupmy
i
nsecur i
ti
esForher ,andl earntot rustherwi t
h
everythinginme.Al lIhadt odonowwast o
dealwi thThisissueoft heweddi ng..Ihadt o
calli
tof fASAP, butf i
rstIhadt odeal with
Dumi sani.Thisshithadgoneonf ort olong.I
hadtogetri
dofhim befor
eIcoul
dcallof
fthe
weddi
ng.It
'stheonlywayNal
edicoul
dbesafe
andicoul
dkeepRi f
il
oe.

Ihadnochoi
cebuttobreakthepromi
seImade
toNal
ediandherfamil
y.Iwoul
dhavetof
inda
waytokeepthedealwit
hLesotho.

Me:
Nai
l
s.Ineedaf
avour
Hi
m:any
thi
ngboss
Me: Ineedthesecur
it
ydetail
atRif
il
oeshouse
doubledasinyester
day.ThenIneedateam at
NaledishouseandanotheratKZN 
Hi
m:i
sev
ery
thi
ngok
Me:no.Shi
tisabouttogocrazy,
amdIneedt
o
makesuremyf amil
yistakencar
eof
 
Hi
m:I
'
llgetev
ery
thi
ngi
noror
der
Me:
wheny
ou'
redoneIneedy
out
rack
Dumisani
.Ineedt
oknowallofhi
smov
es.I
wanttost
rikeasi
nyest
erday

Nail
slookedatmeshocked.Heknewexact ly
whatthismeant.Inourwor l
dyoucanki l
lj
ust
aboutanyonebutwenev erlayahandonf amil
y.
ButThisti
mei hadnochoi ceDumi sanihad
causedallt
hisshitandnowi hadtot akehi m
outonceandf orall
.Ihadl
ethim getawaywi th
alotoutoffl
ea,butnowi nowt ofacet heone
demoni nmylifeandmakesur ehedoesn' tsee
mecomi ng

Hi
m:Bossar
eyousur
eaboutt
his 
Me:
sincewhendoyouquest
ionadi
rector
der
f
eom yourl
i
uet
enant
Hi
m: youknowInev
erdo.Butt
hii
syour
br
other 
Me:
don'
tyout
hinkIknowt
hat
.Nowst
opwi
th
t
hequest
ionsanddoast
old 
Hi
m:y
esboss.
Me:
keepmei
nthel
oop.Ineedt
ogethome
Hi
m:sho

Ilef
ttheof f
icewit
hanombermood.Ihadner v
e
thoughtthisdaywouldcome.IjustwishIcoul
d
sharethiswithRif
il
oe.Butmysecretabout
Dumi saniandmyr easondoki
llIhi
m wouldbe
onethati Taketothegravewi
thme.

Ideci
dedt ogopastt
hef l
ori
st.Ihadn'tbought
Rif
il
oeflowersi
nawhile,andquitefranklyshe
deserv
essomuchmor e.Ij
usthopedshewoul d
gi
vemeaf ewweekstogetthingsinor der

Whenigothome,
Lesediwasbusythr
owi nga
t
antr
um,andyoucoul
dtelRi
fi
loehadjustabout
enoughandwasont
hev
ergeofGi
vi
nghera
hi
ding.

Leasedsawmef i
rstandsobbedherlit
tl
eeyes
out.IknowIshould'
verathernotgot
ten
i
nvolvedbuthercuteli
tt
lefacewassor edI
couldn'
thol
dmy self
.

Itookherandsheinst
antl
ystoppedcryingand
putherarmsaroundmyneck, whil
eIPat t
edher
back.Rif
il
oelookedupatmedi spl
eased.I
l
eanedinandgav eaherakissthentookelseup
forherbath.

*
***
***
***
***
***
*Ri
fi
loe*
***
***
***
***
*

Si
yawal kedt
hestairswit
hLesedi.Iswearthat
l
it
tlegir
lhadhim wrappedaroundhisli
tt
le
fi
nger.Hehatedseeinghercryandsheknewi t
.
Icleanedupar oundtheki tchen,andfounda
beautif
ulbouquetofr osesont hecounter.I
l
ookedatt henot eanditj ustread"I'
m sor r
y"I
smi l
edandpl acedtheflower sinav asethen
putthem inthediningroom andsetupt het abl
e
forDinnerandwentupst airstotakeashower .

Sheicamedown,Siy
ahadal
readybat
hedand
putLesedi
tobed,
andhadal
readydi
shedupf
or
us.

Hest
oodupandpul
kedohmychai
rforme

Hi
m:canIgetaki
ss 
Me:
comegeti
t.

Hepul
l
edmecl
oserandputmyar
msar
ound
hi
sneckandgavemeaki
sst
hatmademe
weakatt
heknees.

Whenhebroket
heki
sshel
ookedatme
gr
inni
ngl
y

Hi
m:doy
oul
i
key
ourf
lower
s 
Me:
yes.l
ovet
hem
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ad 
me:
howwasy
ourday
 
Hi
m:f
inet
hanks

Wehaddi nnerandwentt odecor atethe

Chri
stmastree.Siyawast easingmeabout
bei
ngtooshor t
.Idon'tknowwhatmademe
tur
naroundbuti sawDumi sanistandi
ngatt
he
entr
anceofourdi ni
ngroom.
Siy
at urnedaroundandpul ledouthisgun.And
Dumi sanidi
dt hesame.Ist oodinbetathem not
knowi ngwhatt odo.Ihadthoughtt hi
ngswere
Seatt
ledbutnowi tl
ookedlikethingswere
goingt i
getbadbef oretheygotbad.
[
05/
15,
21:
39]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

171

Istoodi
nbetweenSiyaandDumisanit
ryi
ngt
o
fi
gureoutamill
i
onquesti
onsgoi
ngt hr
oughmy
mind.Li
kehowt hehel
ldi
dDumisaniget
passedsecur
it
y.

Il
ookedatSiyaandtheamountofhat
redinhi
s
eyeswashorri
d.Hehaddonea360andi twas
obvi
ousthatSiy
ahadtakenabackseatand
Ghosthadtakenover
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loemov
e

Myfir
sinst
inctwastoar
guewithhi
m,buti
deci
dedagainsti
tandmovedbehi
ndhi
m.

Hi
m:Dumi
sani
whatar
eudoi
ngher
e 
Dumi :
Well.Ihear
dy ouwerelooki
ngforme,soi
fi
guredI'
dhonory ouri
nvi
tat
ionwithapersonal
vi
sit
Hi
m:wel
lthatwasst
upi
d 
Dumi:j
udgi
ngbythelookony ourf
acei
twas
obv
iousyouwer
en'texpect
ingme 
Him:
onthecont
rar
y.Youar
eei
ghtwher
eiwant
yout
obe 
Dumi
:howso
Him:ial
waysknewther
ewasaleaki
nmy
secur
it
ydet
ail
,andnowIknowwhoiti
s
JustasDumi
saniwasaboutt
oanswer
.Nai
l
s
walkedi
nwit
hHlokes.

Hl
okes:
Iseewe'
rei
nti
mef
ort
heshow
Nai
l
s:I
llgr
abt
hepopcor
n

Siy
asmi l
edandIgotmoreconf
used.How
couldhesmil
ewhenthi
ngsseemedsot ense

Dumi movedhi
sgunfrom Si
yat
oNails.Thent
o
Hlokes.Hel
ookedhel
lofaconf
used

Dumi:whatt
hehel
lNai
l
s.It
houghtwewer
e
cool
.Wehadadeal
Nai
l
s:Yahwel
l
.Deal
over
 
Hl
okes:
youhonestl
ythoughty
oucoul
dbuy
l
oyal
tyf
rom amanwhohasbeeninthefor
ce
wi
thGhostf
orover10years
Si
yalookedathi
sbr
otherandheputhi
sgun
down.

Hi
m:SoDumi
sani
.Itl
ooksl
i
key
ouwer
epl
ayed.
Bi
gti
me

Dumi:Thisi
sn'
ttheendSi
yabonga.Iam y
our
br
other.Youcantki
l
lmeandwebot hknowwhy

HIM:we'
llseeaboutt
hat.Sowhydon' tyouput
thegundownandwal koutofhere,
becausei fi
oranyofmymenhav etot aket
hatgunf rom
you.I
twil
lonlymakethi
ngswor seforyou

Dumisani:
Doyouthi
nkIwoul
dhonest
lygo
downwi t
houtaf
ight
?
Siy
a:it
siny ourbestint
eresttonof i
ghtthis.
Youcanei t
herdiewithdignityorwithabul l
et
thr
oughy ourhead.Plusi don'
tthi
nkRi f
il
oe
wouldappreciat
ey oursplatt
eredbrainall
ov er
hercouch.Especial
lysinceshedidt hedecorall
onherown

Dumi
:your
eal
l
ythi
nkt
hisi
sthet
imef
orj
okes

Hi
m:I
'
mjustsay
ing.Sowheatwi
l
litbe?

Dumisani
lookedatSi
yaandatHl
okesbuthe
wasn'
tbacki
ngdown.Inst
eadhel
ookedbackat
Si
yaandsmi l
ed

Dumi:Howaboutwestar
toffbytel
l
ing
ever
yonewhyyouwanttokil
lme.Maybet
hen
wecouldt
alkaboutmysurr
ender
SIYAst
art
edf idgeti
ngandIknewhewas
uncomfor
table.Likehewasn'
tGhostbut
someoneididn'tknow

Hi
m:Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his.Hl
okes

Hlokesst
oodupandDumi
sani
poi
ntedt
hegun
athim

Dumi :tell
them babybrother .Tel
lthem howi
hady ouatmymer cy.Tellthem howi made
yourlifesomi ser
able.Tell
t hem howt hebig
andmi ghtyGhostwasal lt
hankst ome.I fi
hadn'tdonewhati di
dy ouwoul dn'
thav ebeen
anything.

Si
ya:
shutupbef
orei
putabul
l
ett
hroughy
our
head

Dumi:
you'
regoi
ngt
okil
lmeany
way
.Imi
ghtas
wel
lgooutwit
habang

Si
yal
ookedatDumi
sani
thenatme.

Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe.goupst
air
s. 
Me:
Siy
a
Hi
m:pl
ease.Justgoup.I
llcal
lyoudown

Igotupshakingl
yandwentupst ai
rs.Iwasn'
t
comfort
ablewithbeingupst
air
salonewi t
hout
Siy
a,butIknewt hatthi
ngswerenotgoingtobe
good.Soit
sbet t
ertodoast ol
dthant oar
gue

Igotupst
air
sandwentst
rai
ghtt
oLesedi
'
s
room.Myl
itt
legi
rlwasfastasl
eepand
obli
vi
oust
otheshitst
orm downstai
rs.

Ipickedherupandwentt omyr oom.Ijust

prayedthatwhateverwashappeningthatSi
ya
woul dn'
tgethur
t.Isati
nbedwonder i
ngabout
whatDumi sanihadmeant.Whydi dhefeell
ike
hehadmadeSi ya.WhywasSiyasowei rd
aroundhim.

Istayedinmyr oom f
oroveranhour
,andthen
heartagungoof f.Ij
umpedandgrabbedmy
baby.Ididn'
tknowwhohadbeenhur tbuti
prayeditwasn'
tSiya

myfir
sti
nstinctwastogodown,
buti
wast
o
scar
edtoleaveLesedial
one.

Ist
art
edpani
cki
ngandcr
ying.Whati
fSi
yahad
beenshot.Whatifhewasgoneandi woul
dn'
t
everseehim agai
n.HowwouldLesedigr
owup
withouthi
m

Iwon'
tknowwhenSiyawal
kedin,
butal
liknow
i
shehadhisworm ar
msaroundme.

Ii
mmedi
atel
ystar
tedcr
ying,
try
ingt
ogaspt
hat
hewasi
ndeedok

Hi
m:shhhbaby
.We'
reok

Me:
Siy
a(sni
ff
)
Him:I
'
m sor
ryy ouhadt
obeher
eforthi
s.Idon'
t
knowwhatHlokesandNai
l
swerethi
nki
ng 
Me:
Idon'
tcar
e.I
'
mjustgl
adt
haty
ouar
eOK 
Hi
m:i
'
mfi
ne.Buti
needt
oheadi
ntot
heof
fi
ce
Me:
dontl
eav
eme
Hi
m:(
sigh)baby
 
Me:
pleaseSi
ya.
 
Him:ok.Butineedtosor
toutaf
ewt
hingsnow.
Thatcannotwaitf
ortomorr
ow
Me:
Canty
ouwor
kfr
om her
e 
hi
m: No.IneedtoputBulletandNailsi
nt hei
r
pl
ace.Thosetwower efuckingincompetent.
TheyledDumisaniherewithoutconsul
ti
ngme.
Youcould'
vebeenhurt
Me:
I'
m sur
etheyhadi
tcov
ered
Hi
m:,
doesn'
tmatter.Igavet
hem or
der
sand
t
heydel
iber
atel
ydisobeyedme 
Me:thatcanwai
t.Ri
ghtnowy
ourwi
feneeds
you
Hi
m:Mywi
fe?
Me:
yes.Yourwi
fe
Hi
m: i
nthatcase.Gi
veme10mi
nut
esandI
'
m
al
lyour
s.

*
***
***
**si
ya*
***
***
***

Iwentdownst
air
sandf
oundmyr
eam cl
eani
ng
up.

IlookedatHl okesandj ustshookmyhead.I

knowhewant edtoexplainbutIwasn't
i
nt er
ested.Hehadt akenadecisionandran
withitwithoutmyconsentandt hatwast ot
all
y
unacceptabl e.Butaspr omisedIwoul ddeal
withalloft hi
st omor r
ow.Al l
ineededt odowas
getridoft hef urnit
urethathadblood,Dumisani
wasl uckyt ost i
llbeali
ve.Butbyt hi
stime
tomor r
owhewoul dbeagonnerandt heworld
wouldbeabet t
erplace.
Thet
eam f
ini
shedupandev
ent
ual
l
ylef
t.

IhadhopedRi fi
l
oewoul dbeasl eepsinceItook
l
ongert han10mi nutes,butunf or
tunatel
yshe
waswi deawakeandIj ustknewshewasgoi ng
toaskmeami ll
ionquest i
ons, andquitefr
ankly
Iwasn' tsureIwasgoi ngtobeabl etotel
lher
thetruth.Ihadbur i
edt hetr
ut hforsolongand
nowt het houghtofitresurfacingwasn'texactl
y
pleasing.

Me:
youst
il
lawake
Her:Yes.Icoul
dn'
tpossi
blysl
eep.Toomany
questi
ons
Me:
cant
heywai
tti
l
ltomor
row
Her
:nonotex
act
ly

i
satnextt
oRi
fi
loe,
andputmyhandi
nher
s.
Me:babyI'
m notr
eadytot
alkaboutt
his.Iknow
i
tsaskingal
ot,
butpl
easecanwejusttry
movingon. 
Her
:Whenwi
l
lyouber
eady
Me:Idontknow.Ij
ustdontwantt
oev
ent
hink
abouti
t
Her:Si
ya.What
everiti
swecant al
kabouti
t.
We'l
lmakeitwork.Butyouhav
et otr
ustme
enough 
Me:you'
l
lneverl
ookatmet hesameaf t
eryou
know.Pl
easebaby.I
'
m beggingyou.Leti
tgo
Her
:Si
gh
Me:canwejustgot
obed.Pl
easei
tsbeena
l
ongnight
.

Ri
fi
loelookedinmyeyesdeepl
y,andil
ooked
away.Herpier
cingst
aremademef eel
li
keshe
couldseethetr
uth,andthatscar
edme.Ididn'
t
wantherknowing.Ifshedidshewouldr
unand
probablynev
erlookback.Andthatwasnota
ri
ski waswil
li
ngtot ake.
[
05/
15,
21:
40]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

172

Idecidedtol
etSi
yabe,andjustl
ett
hei
ssuego,
becauseitwasobvi
ousthi
swasn’tt
het
imeto
argue.

Me;
let
’sgett
obed 
Hi
m;t
hankGod

IchangedintomyPJ’
sandgotint
obed.I
expectedSiy
atosl
eepinhi
sroom,buthe
changedandcametosleepwit
hmeandLesedi
.
Idi
dn’
tbot
hersayi
ng.I
nstead.Ij
ustcuddl
ed
wit
hmypeopleandputthewor r
iesoft
oday
behi
ndme.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***Siy
a
*
***
***
***
***
***
****
*****
***
**

Wakingupnexttomytwobabies,
waslikea
dream comet
rue.Ij
ustwonder
edifIwouldbe
ablet
okeepRifi
loe.

Igotupandwentt omyr oom togetreadyfor

work.Iwashopingtogetoutt hehousebef or
e
Rif
il
oe.Butunfor
tunatelyRifi
l
oe,wasal r
eadyin
theki
tchen.Thelookinherey estol
dmeshe
wasn’tt
akinganyprisoners.Shewasona
missi
on,andIjustknewi thadtodowi thwhat
happenedlastni
ght.
Her
;mor
ning 
Me;
Heybabe 
Her
;Iseemyl
oungehasnof
urni
tur
e 
Me;sor
ryaboutt
hat
.Il
lhav
eitr
epl
acedbyt
he
endoft
heday
Her
;soar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lmewhathappened 
Me;
Dumisanigotoutofhand.SoIshothi
min
t
hekneecap 
Her
;ohLor
dSi
ya 
Me;
baby
,it
’snot
hing 
Her
;howi
sitnot
hing
Me;Ij
ustneededhi
mtoshutup.Hewoul
dn’
t
l
ist
ensoIshothim 
Her
;you’
recr
azy
 
Me;
Iknow

Ri
fi
loechuckl
edabi
tandshookherheadatme.
Ismi
l
edandwonder
edwhatshewast
hinki
ng

Her;
youknowy ou’
regoi
ngt
ohav
etot
ell
me
what’
shappeni
ng 
Me;
babypl
ease 
Her
;Si
yaI
’
m ser
ious 
Me;
Iknow.Justl
etmegett
hrought
hisday
. 
Her
;sowe’
l
ltal
ktoni
ght
 
Me;
may
be

Rif
il
oef i
nishedmaki ngbreakfast,
andweat e
mainlyavoidingwhathadhappened.I twasn’t
awkwar d.InfactIcouldtel
lthatshewast r
ying
tobuttermeup, andt hankf
ullyi
twaswor ki
ng.
Withi
nmi nutesIhadf orgot
tenaboutDumi sani
andwasl aughingatRi fi
l
oe’sattempttof
lip
pancakes. 
Iev
ent
ual
l
ylef
thomewhenLesedi
wokeup.I
didn’
twantherseeingme,becauseIknewt hat
wouldmeant hatIwouldn’
tgetoutofhere
anyti
mesoon, andthatwasn’
tonmypl ansfor
today.

Iarr
ivedattheforceandcalledameet i
ng
betweenme, bull
etandNails.It
hinkitwasti
me
Iputmyf ootdownagain.Itwascl eart
hatt
hey
hadforgott
enwhowasi ncharge.

ME;wouldoneofyoutel
lmewhatt
hehell
happenedl
astni
ght?WhyonGod’
sgreenear
th
wouldyoudi
sobeyanorder
Nail
s; Boss.Itwasn’tl
i
kethat
.Wetracked
Dumi sani,
andf oundthathewasal
readyinJHB.
SoIcont actedhim andmadeadeal i
nourbest
i
nterest 
Me;andy
oudi
dn’
tthi
nkt
haty
oushoul
d’
ve
cal
l
edme 
Him; boss.Ital
lhappenedsoqui
ckl
y.Ihadthe
team surroundthehouse,wi
thi
nminutesofhi
m
arri
vi
ng
Me;that’
snotthepoint.Thepointisy
oudon’t
maket herul
es.Idoandi t
’sbestyoubot
hstart
rememberingthatbeforethi
ngsgetoutof
hand 
Bul
let
;Dude.Cany oujustt
ryt
ohearusout
?
YouwantedDumi saniandwehandedhi
mto
youonasil
verplatter
 
Me;anddi
dy ouf
oronesecondt
hinkabout
Ri
fi
loe,
orLesedi
 
Bul
let
;weknewy
ouwer
ehome.Weknewt
hey
wouldbesaf
e
Me; l
et’
sgetoneont hingclear
.Ify
oubotht
ry
anythi
ngl i
kethisagain.Thenyou’r
ebot
houtof
here.Icannotrunanagencywi t
hpeopl
eI
cannottrust.Ar
eclear 
Them;
Shoboss 
ME;good.Nowwher
ear
eyoukeepi
ng
Dumisani
 
Bul
l
et;
downst
air
s
Me;
code?
 
Nai
l
s;3695485
Me;
Let
sgett
hisdone

Itookmygunandmadesur eIhadonebul
l
eti
n
there,t
henwentdownst
air
stowheremy
brotherwasbei
ngkept.

Iputinthecodeandwal kedi
nt oDumisani
reeli
ngi
npai n.Looki
ngathim Iknewt
hatBull
et
didn’
tbotherpatchi
nghiup,

Me;
Wel
lthatl
ooksr
atherpai
nful
 
Hi
m;y
ouar
esi
ck 
Me;
wel
ltakesonesi
ckot
oknowanot
her
 
Hi
m;mxm 
Me;
sol
etmeputy
ououtofy
oumi
ser
y 
Hi
m;(chuckl
es)l
i
key
ouhav
ethegut
stoki
l
l
me 
Me;
may
benott
hel
i
ttl
eboyIwasbackt
hen 
Him;wellmaybeIshoul
dtakeyouback.Gi
ve
youalit
tl
ereminderofwhatabi
tchyouwere
backthen 
Me;
comecl
oserandt
ry.

Dumi sanist
umbl edupandt obehonestmy
heartdropped.AllIhaveev erwant
edwast oki
l
l
thi
sman.Andher eIhadt heoppor
tuni
tyand
i
nsteadofpul l
ingt hetr
iggerIwasstandi
ng
hereshakingli
keabi t
ch.

Hi
m;Soher
ewear
eli
tt
lebr
o.Ar
eyour
eadyt
o
endt
hisordoy
ouwantmet
oremi
ndy
ouofol
d
ti
mes 
Me;
layahandonmeandy
ou’
redead 
Hi
m;doesyourwif
eknowaboutwhatweused
t
odo?Orbett
eryethowmuchyouenjoy
edit

Iswearmyhear tstar
tedr aci
ng.Thi
sf uckerwas
standingwithinani nchofme, andhereIwas
goingbackt othehel pless8y earol
dboy .Who
hadl ethi
sbr othermol esthim?Nightafternight
withouttel
li
ngany one.Att heti
meIdidn’ tqui
te
under st
andwhathewasdoi ng.Hestartedoff
byjusttouchingmewhenhet houghtIwas
asleep.Til
lonedayIwokeupandhehadhi s
handi nmypant s.
 
Itr
iedmov i
ngbuthehel dmest il
landtol
dme
hewoul dki
llmeifIevertoldanyone.It
ri
edmy
besttostophim,butaftersomet imeIgaveup.
Dumisaniwasbiggerandol derthanme.He
wast heappl
eofmyf ather’seye,andhecould
donowrong.SoevenifIdi
dtell
myf
ather
.I
knewhewould’
veneverbel
iev
edme.
SoIl ethimt oit.Ilethimt ouchmewi t
houtev er
sayingany thing.Tillonedayhewant edmedo
thesame, andt hat’
swhent hingsgotwor se.He
beatmeupwhenIr efused,andIv owedt o
my selfthatIwasgoi ngtomakesomet hingof
my self.ThatIwasgoi ngtogoi nt
othef orce
andoneday .OnedayIwasgoi ngtomakehi m
pay.Andnowher ewasmyonechanceandI
hadl i
teral
lyf r
ozen.

Him; seeItoldyou.YouaremyBI TCHand

nothing.Andnoonei severgoingtochange
that.Sowhydon’ tyouandNaledigoandhavea
therapysessiontogether
,andyougetthehel
l
outofmyf ace

Ihonest
lydon’
tknowwhatmademesomad,
buttheswit
chinmyheadfl
i
cked,
andIpul
l
ed
t
hetri
ggerwi
thhi
mli
ter
all
yst
andi
ngr
ighta
mil
l
il
it
refr
om me.
 
Hetookafewstepsbackandl
ookeddownat
hi
sbloodi
ngabdomen. 
Imanagedtotakeafewst epsbackandlooked
atmydyingbrot
herandIfeltsomuchwor se.
Thiswassupposedtobemydayofv i
ctory
,and
yetnowIfel
tmoretrappedthanIdidbefor
e.

Iwal
kedoutoft
her
oom andwentt
omyof
fi
ce.

Me;
bul
l
et.At
tendt
ohi
m 
Hi
m;y
ouok 
Me;
fine

Iwentintomyoffi
ceandlockedthedoor
,and
l
iter
all
ybrokedown.Ihadsuppressedmy
feel
ingsandfear
sforsolong.Andnowherei
t
was.I twasout.Thisisi t
.Myt rut
handIknew
thatIhadtot el
lRifi
loe.Buthow?HowdoIt ell
herthatIam nott hemanshet hi
nksIam?How
doIt ell
herthatGhostwasj ustacoverupof
myi nneremot i
ons?ThatIusedGhostt ocover
upther ealemotionst hatSiyabongawashaving.
Howwoul dsheev erforgivemef oral
lthepai
nI
causedherwi thmydi shonest y.

Ihonestl
yhadnochoiceinthematt
er.Ineeded
totel
lhersothatmaybe.Justmay
beshecoul d
underst
andandt akemeback.
[
05/
15,
21:
43]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

173

Ispentmostofmydayr edoingmyl ounge.I

wasf eel
i
ngabitofft
houghbecauseIhadt r
ied
gett
ingholdofSi
yatonoav ail
.Iknow
technicall
yhewasn’ texactlymine.ButIki
ndof
feltl
etdown.I twasappr oachingdinner
,andhe
sti
llhadn’tgottenbackt ome.Andt omake
thingswor sehehadn’ tcal
ledoffthewedding.
Accordingt oblogsandt hemedi a.Hewasdue
tobemar ri
edin3day s.Whi chhasmademe
onehel lofannoy ed.
 
Siyahadsai
dhewantsusback.Buthehadn’
t
doneanythi
ngtoshowme.Inst
eadhehadshot
hisbrot
heri
nmyhouse,andasalwaysIwas
tol
dtodropthesubj
ect
.Mxm

Ieventuall
yputLeseditobed,andwenttohave
dinnerbymy self
.IwantedtocallSi
yaagai
n,but
Iwasn’tgoingtolookdesperat
e.Inst
eadIhad
dinner,andwenttotuckmy sel
finmycoldand
l
onelybed.Imi ghtaswellgetusedtoit
becauset hewayitlookedIwouldbeinthi
sbed
al
onef orawhi l
etocome.
Imust’
vebeenasleepf
oratl
eastanhour,when
Ihear
dSiyacomingupthest
air
s.Irol
ledmy
eyes,
andtri
edgetti
ngbackt
osleep. 
Si
yacamei
ntomyr
oom,
andputonmybed
si
del
amp

Hi
m;baby
 
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;wakeup 
Me;
why
 
Hi
m;Ineedt
otal
ktoy
ou.Pl
ease

Isatupandwenttothebathr
oom tobrushmy
teet
hfir
st.I
fweweregoingtobetalki
ngthenI
hadtobeonhi ghal
ert
.IwantedanswersandI
wantedthem now.
 
WhenIwasdonef
resheni
ngup,
Iwentsi
ton
t
hebednextt
oSiy
a

Hi
m;sor
ryt
owakey
ou 
Me;
what
sgoi
ngon 
Hi
m;y
oul
ookpi
ssed
Me; wel
lSiya,Ihav ebeentr
yingt
ogetholdof
youthewhol eday .TheTVchannelsareabuzz
withyourupcomi ngnuptial
s.Andyether
ey ou
areinmybedSi ya 
Hi
m;babecal
m down 
Me; calm down?Si y
ayouarekeepi
ngmeinthe
darky etagain.Yougoall
amowhenIasky ou
aboutwhat ’sgoingon.Al
lIgeti
sthenor
mal
notnow.  
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Just
 
Me;no.Ineedy
outotell
mewher eIst
andwith
youSi
ya.Youhaveputever
ythi
ngandever
yone
aboveme.AndIhaveaskedy
outoletmegoa
mil
li
onti
mes,buther
eyouarehur
ti
ngmeagai
n 
Hi
m;Icantdot
his 
Me;f
inethendon’
t.Runof
ftoy
ourpr
eci
ous
Nal
edi 
Siy
agotupandwentdownst ai
rs.Icouldtel
l he
wasf r
ustr
atedandIdon’
tact
uall
ycar e.Si
ya
hadnor i
ghttobemad,whenhej ustspentthe
dayignor
ingme.

It
ri
edgettingbacktobed.Butforsomer eason
myheartjustf
eltheavy.IknewIlovedthi
sman
somuch,andt hethoughtofhim pl
ayingwit
h
mejusthurtme. 
Igotoutofbedandwentdownstair
stoget
somewat er
.IsawSiyainhisr
oom wit
habottl
e
ofHennessey.Myheartl
it
eral
l
ybroke,
because
Iknewthathewashurt.
Iwal
kedi
nandsati
nfr
ontofhi
m.

Hi
m;don’
t 
Me;
what
sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ouSi
ya 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe

It
ooktheglassawayfrom hi
m,andIsatonhi
s
l
ap.SomethingaboutSi
yawasn’
tri
ghtandI
wantedt
oknowwhati twas.

Me;
Lookatme

Si
yal
ookedawayi
nst
ead

Me;
Siy
a.Lookatme

Hel
ookedupatmeandIsawonl
yashadowof
amant
hatIknowme
Me;baby
.Pl
easej
ustt
alkt
ome.I
’
m her
e.Just
openuptome 
Hi
m;Ri
f
Me;
please
Hi
m;butt
heny
ou’
l
lleav
e 
Me;whati
sit
.Ineedt
oknowSi ya.Ourwhole
marr
iagei
sbasedonli
es.Justf
oronce.Please.
Pl
easetel
lmewhatyouarehidi
ngfrom me.

Hi
m;I….
.Dumi
…..He

Isawat eardropescapef r
om Si
yaandIhada
l
umpi nmyt hroat.Thi
swasmyman.Il ovehim
withevery
thingi nme, andsomethi
ngjustbroke
mewhenIsawhowv ulner
abl
ehelooked

Me;
Siy
aIl
ovey
ou.Il
ovey
oumor
ethan
anyt
hinginthi
sworl
d.Justt
ell
methet
rut
h.I
swearIwill
doever
ythi
nginmypowert
o
under
stand

Isawsomet hi
nginSi
yacr ackf
orthef
ir
stti
me
Inourr
elat
ionshi
p.Hi
st earsst
art
edst
reaming
andIknewwewer eclose.

Il
eanedinandgavehi
m ahug,andhefinal
l
y
openedup.Hetol
dmeeveryt
hingaboutwhat
Dumisanihadt
ohim.

Myhear ttorei
nheartforhim.Al l
thi
st i
mehe
hadbeensoar rogantIthoughtitwasbecause
hedidn’tknowwhathewant ed.Butinsteadi
t
wast heonlywayheknewhowt olove.Hehad
nevertrul
yknowuncondi t
ionallove,
andt her
e
wasnowayIwasgoi ngtobackup.
Siyawasmymanandt hefactthathethought
thathewasn’
twor thy,onlymademewantt o
maket hi
sworksomuchmor e.Siyawasmor e
thanGhostorthatlit
tl
eboywhowasmol est
ed.
Hewast hemanIf ellinlovewi t
handhi spast
wasn’tgoi
ngtotaintthat.Insteadhim openi
ng
uptomemademef al
l i
nlovewi t
hhim somuch
deeper.
[
05/
15,
21:
44]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

174

SeeingSiyainsuchast at
emademef eelso
selfi
sh.Allt
het i
mest hatIjustt
houghthewas
beingselfi
sh,onlytofindouthewasdeal ing
withsomuchpai nandIwast ot
all
yobli
viousto
thehugesecr etthatwasmaki nghim actthe
wayt hathewas.  
Il
ookedatt
hemani
nmyar
msandIknewt
hatI
wouldfightforhi
mlikenev
erbefor
e.Iwould
fi
ghtforSiyamorethananyonehasfoughtf
or
hi
m. 
Westayedi
nt hesameposit
ionforawhil
e.Si
ya
wasn’
tmoving.Hehadcalmeddownal otbut
youcoul
dtell
hewasstil
lhurti
ng.

Me;
baby
 
Hi
m;mhmm 
Me;
Ilov
eyou
Hi
m;how

Iletgoandsatinf
rontofhi
m.Il
ookedathi
min
theeyesbecauseIwantedhi
mtoknowthatI
wasserious

Me;becauseIdo.Ichoset
olov
eyout
hen,
andI
chosetolov
eyouknow 
Hi
m;butRi
fi
loe.Ij
ustt
oldy
out
het
rut
h 
Me;So?Whatdidyouexpectmetodo?Didyou
wantmetotel
lyouIdon’
twantyou?OrthatI
can’
tbewi
thyou? 
Hi
m;y
es.That
’st
heonet
hingy
oushoul
ddo
Me; Si
yay ouaremessedupi nal
l ki
ndsofway .
ButIlovey oudespi t
eallthatshi
t.Youarethe
manIf elli
nlov ewith.You’r
ether easonIhav
e
Lesedi.Youar eitforme.Sodespi teevery
thi
ng
youcomewi th.IloveyouandIam notgoi ng
anywher e 
Hi
m;Ri
f
ME;no.I
’
my our
s.You’
remi
ne.Thatwi
l
lnev
er
ev
erchange
Hi
m;Pr
omi
se 
Me;
promi
se

Il
eanedi
nandki
ssedmymanwi
thev
eryi
nch
ofme.Ihadhel
doffforsol
ong,
butnowIwas
fi
nal
l
yreadytoopenuptohi
m. 
Si
yapul
ledawayandlookedatmewi
thdesi
re
wr
itt
enall
overhi
m. 
Hi
m;Ar
eyousur
eaboutt
his 
Me;
yes
Hi
m;sur
esur
e?
Me;
yes

Siyakissedme, andwemadel oveti

l
lweboth
couldn’ttakeitanymore.Ithadbeenmor et
han
8mont hssincewehadbeeni nti
mateandIwas
gratef
ul t
hatwewai t
ed,becausenowwi tht
he
tr
uthIf el
tlikeIwasmaki ngLov etoSiy
aand
notashadowofaman.

Hi
m;t
hatwasi
ntense 
Me;
yahh 
Hi
m;t
hanky
ou 
Me;
forwhat
?
Hi
m;f
orbei
ngy
ou 
Me;shhh.Let
’sgot
obed.Tomor
rowi
sanot
her
day

Siyagiggl
edandwewentt obed.Wehady et
anothercrazydramafil
leddaybutnowi twas
ti
mef ormegetsomeshutey e.Iwoul
d
probablyhavetoslayanotherdragontomorr
ow.

Waki ngupt hefoll

owingmor ni
nginSi ya’
sarms
wasadr eam comet r
ue.Iwasonhi schest
l
isteninghi sheartbeat.IknowSi yawas
probablyt hinki
ngt hatIwasgoi ngtoletwhathe
tol
dmel astni ghtgo.ButIknewt hatIfwewere
goingt omaket hiswor k,
hewoul dneed
counsel l
i
ng.Hehasbot tl
edupev erythingforf
ar
toolong, andi t
stimeher eceiv
edpr ofessi
onal
hel
p.Butknowi
ngSiy
ahewasgoi ngtobemad
ashel
lformeevensuggest
ingt
heidea.

Igotup,andwenttocheckonLesedi ,and
thankf
ull
yshewasf astasleep.SoIt
ookaqui
ck
shower,andwentdownst air
stomake
breakf
ast.
 
Iknewthatt
heonl
ywaytodiscusscounsel
l
ing
wouldbeformetoappr
oachtheissueat
breakf
ast
. 
Iwentalloutandmadeafull
Engli
shbreakfast
.
BythetimeSiyacamedownwi t
hLesedi,Ihad
j
ustfi
nishedcleani
ngoutt
hemessIhadmade

Hi
m;mor
ning 
Me;
mor
ning 
Him;Ij
ustchangedher
.It
houghtI
’
sbr
ingher
downforbreakf
ast 
Me;
thanksbaby
.

ItookLesediandputherinherf
eedi
ngchair
,
andgav eherherbr
eakfast.Whi
l
eSiy
adished
upf orhi
mself
.

Me;
sobabyI
’
vebeent
hinki
ng 
Hi
m;shoul
dIbewor
ri
ed?
Me;
no.notr
eal
l
y 
Hi
m;ok.I
’
mli
steni
ng 
Me;Iwasthi
nki
ngyoushoul
dmay
bespeakt
o
someoneaboutwhaty
outol
dme 
Hi
m;Ispoket
oyouabouti
tmos 
Me;yes.ButIwast
hinki
ng,
may
bea
pr
ofessi
onal 
Hi
m;asi
nashr
ink 
Me;
wel
l
.Yes 
Hi
m;no.I
’
m good 
Me;
babyj
usthearmeout
 
Hi
m;r
if
il
oe.Youar
eal
lthet
her
apyIneed
Me;
asf
lat
ter
ingast
hatsounds.Ist
il
l 
Him;baby
.Thi
sisn’
tupf ordi
scussi
on.Iam not
seei
ngashri
nk.I
’m notcrazy
 
Me; Idi
dn’tsayy ouwerecrazy.Ij
ustt
houghti
t
woul dhel
pi fyouspoketosomeonewhoknew
howt odeal withyouri
ssue.Icoul
dgowi t
hyou
i
fy ouwant .Wecoul dhaveli
keacouple’
s
therapysession 
Hi
m;Iam notdoi
ngt
hiswi
thy
ou.

Si
yast
oodup,andgav
emeandLesedi
aki
ss.
Thenl
eftf
orwork.

Iunderst
andthathewasprobabl
yscaredand
thathedidn’
tli
kethei
deaofcounsel
l
ing.Buthe
wouldneedt ospeakt osomeoneaboutt hi
s
Dumi i
ssue.Thisisn’tsomethi
ngsmall.His
brot
hermolestedhi m.Heneedst otal
kaboutit
sothathecanheal .Howar eweexpectedt o
havearelat
ionshi
pwhenhecan’ tdealwith
i
ssues?

Afterbreakfast,IdecidedtotakeLesedi
tothe
zoo.Wespendsomuchofourt imeathome,it
wasj ustboring.SoIf igur
edshewouldenjoy
seeingalltheani mals.

Igotusready,butdeci
dedtocall
Siyat
olethi
m
know,incasehehadt ogett
hingsinor
der
regar
dingsecuri
ty

Hi
m;Babe 
Me;
hil
ove 
Hi
m;ar
eyouok 
Me;yes.Justt
hinki
ngoftaki
ngLesedi
tot
he
Zoo,
andIwonder edift
hatwasok
Hi
m; mhmmm gi
vemeasect
ogetsecur
it
yin
pl
ace 
Me;
oh.
.Ok 
Hi
m;am Ii
nvi
tedt
othi
sout
ingofy
our
s 
Me;aft
erthewayy
oustor
medoutt
hismor
ning.
Iwanstsurey
ouwoul
dwantt
obe 
Hi
m; Il
lmeetyouatt
hezooi
nanhour
.Secur
it
y
wi
llaccompanyyou 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
lov
eyout
oo

Iendedthecallwit
hasmile.Si
yawashopeful
l
y
goingtoseemypoi nt
,andagreewi
ththe
therapysessi
ons.I
twasonlyamatteroft
ime.
Wespenthour sonendwi thSiy
aandLesedi at
thezoo.Lesedi wassoexci t
edtoseeallt
he
animals.Ihaddeci dedtonotsayanything
aboutthesessi ons.Ifi
guredwhenSiyawas
ready,
hewoul ddiscussthem withme.Butfor
nowwewer ehavingfamilytimeandthatisall
thatmattered.

Wewer enear
ingt
heendofthezoo,whenSi
ya
gotamessageonhisphone.Thel
ookonhis
facet
oldmethati
twasn’tagoodone

Hi
m;weshoul
dgo 
Me;
isev
ery
thi
ngOk 
Hi
m;y
es.No.
..Canwej
ustgo?
 
Me;
Siy
awhati
sit
 
Hi
m;Nal
edi
 
Me;
whatabouther
Hi
m;shet
ri
edcommi
tt
ingsui
cide 
Me;
OhmyGosh.I
ssheok 
Hi
m;She’
sbeenr
ushedt
othehospi
tal
 
Me;
doy
ouknowwhatcausedhert
odot
his 
Hi
m;Ical
l
edof
ftheweddi
ng

Il
ookedatSiy
aandhehasguiltwri
tt
enal
lov
er
hi
sface.Imustbehonest
,Ial
sofel
tbad.
 
Siyahadbeenspendi nghisti
meher ewi t
hme,
andnowbecauseoft hathehadcancel l
edt hei
r
wedding.Whichl edhertot r
ykill
i
ngher sel
f.All
becauseIcoul dn’
tjustputmy sel
fintheirshoes
andagreet olethim marryher.Nowany t
hing
thathappenedIwoul dhav eonmyconsci ous
fortherestofmyl i
fe.
[
05/
15,
21:
44]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

175
(
cr
opt
op.wi
l
ltr
ypost
inganot
heronet
oni
ght
)

IpackedupLesedi andweheadedt ot hecar.I

wastryingreall
yhardtotryandnotfeeljeal
ous,
becauseIcoul dseethatSiyawasgenuinely
worri
edaboutNal edi
.Hewasphoni ngt he
hospit
al l
eftr
ightandcentre,andt
hatmademy
stomacht i
eupIknot s.

Wear r
ivedhome, andSiyawentroom hisroom
tostar
tpacking.Ididn’
tsayanyt
hing.Ijusttook
Lesediupst
airs,andgaveherbath.Icouldtell
shewasdozingof ff
rom t
heexcit
ingdayt hat
shehadhad.SoIwant edtobat
hherf ir
st,and
thenputhertobed.

Af
terLesediwasfastasl
eep,
Iputherdownand
wenttotheki
tchentogrababot
tl
eofwat er
.I
coul
dhearSi
yashout
ingfr
om hisroom.Iknew
hewasonthephonewithHlokes,
soIlethi
m
be.
 
Hefi
nishedhiscal
landcamet otheki
tchen.
Tookmybot t
leofwaterandgulpedi
tdown. 
Isatont
hecount
erandst
aredathi
m

Hi
m;don’
t 
Me;
whatdi
dIdo 
Hi
m;y
ou’
regi
vi
ngmet
hatl
ook 
Me;
Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
 
Hi
m;Si
gh 
Me;
Sil
ence 
Hi
m;Idon’
tknowwhatt
odo 
Me;
wit
hwhat
 
Hi
m;Nal
edi
 
Me;
Ican’
ttel
lyouwhatt
odo 
Hi
m;f
uck 
Me;
whatdoesy
ourhear
ttel
lyou 
Him;Idon’twantt ohurther.ButIdon’ twantt
o
l
osey ou.Youar emyl i
feRi f
il
oe.AndIwon’ t
l
osey oubecauseofher .Butatthesamet i
meI
feelr
eallybad.LikeIcanhonest l
yknowhow
shefeels.Dumisani di
dt hesamet hingtome.
Actual
lyforheritwas10t i
meswor se.She
cannothav echil
dren.Ij
ustwi shIcouldgiveher
backherl i
fe
Me;
mhmm 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loet
alkt
ome.Tel
lmewhatt
odo 
Me;Icannott
ell
youwhatt
odoSi y
a.Thisi
s
yourl
if
eyouhavetomakethedeci
sion.
 
AsSi
yaandIwer
etal
ki
nghi
sphoner
ang

Hi
m;y
es 
Her
;Si
ya 
Hi
m;Nal
edi
 
Her
;Ineedy
ou 
Hi
m;howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng 
Her
;nott
ogood 
Hi
m;I
’
m sor
ryI
’
m notgoi
ngt
omakei
t 
Her
;pl
easeSi
ya.Ij
ustwantt
otal
ktoy
ou 
Hi
m;(
sigh)
 
Her;
please.Af
tert
his.I
’
lll
eav
eyoual
one.I
pr
omi se 
Hi
m;f
ine.I
llf
lydown 
Her
;noneed.I
’
m comi
ngt
oJobur
gtomor
row
Hi
m;Hav
eyoubeendi
schar
gedal
ready
 
Her
;yes
Hi
m;ButIt
hought
 
Her
;Idi
schar
gedmy
sel
f 
Hi
m;Why
 
Her
;becauseIneedt
oseey
ou 
Hi
m;f
ine.Letmeknowwheny
ougether
e 
Her
;cool

Si
yaendedhi
scal
landhel
ookedupatme
whi
leIt
ookmybottl
eofwat
erback

Hi
m;Ineedy
out
odomeaf
avour
 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m; wi
lly
oucomewi
thmet
othemeet
ingwi
th
Nal
edi 
Me;
Ithoughtshewasi
nhospi
tal
 
Hi
m; haai.Idon’
tknowany
mor
e.Shesay
sshe
di
schargedherself
 
Me;
ohok 
Hi
m;sowi
l
lyoucome 
Me;
hel
lno 
Hi
m;whynot
 
Me;
whydoIhav
etobet
her
e 
Hi
m;i
ncaseshet
ri
est
oki
l
lme 
Me;
Chuckl
es 
Him;Okal
lseri
ousnessasi
de.Iwoul
dreal
l
y
appr
eci
atei
tifyouwerether
e 
Me;
ohSi
ya 
Hi
m;pl
easebaby
 
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;Thanky
ou 
Me;
lor
dknowsIam notl
ooki
ngf
orwar
dtot
his 
Hi
m;j
ustkeepanopenmi
nd 
Me;
I’
ll
try
 
Hi
m;sor
ryIwassomoody
.Ij
ustgotaf
ri
ght
 
Me;
it’
scool
 
Hi
m;canIgetaki
ss 
Me;
no
Hi
m;whatdoIhav
etodot
ohav
eyouf
orgi
ve
me 
Me;
mhhmm nowl
et’
ssee
Hi
m;OhLor
d 
Me;howaboutwestar
toffwithafootmassage.
Thenyoucanmakemedi nner
.Andthenyou
canrunmeanicehotbubblebat
h
Hi
m;damn 
Me;
youasked 
Him;ok,
butdoIgett
ojoi
nyouf
ort
hebubbl
e
bath 
Me;
Ify
ou’
reagoodboy
,thenmay
be 
Hi
m;ok

Si
yastart
edoffwithdi
nner,t
henranmea
bubbl
ebath,andofcourseweendedupmaki
ng
l
oveinthebath.Thenheadedofft
obed.
Tomorr
owwasboundtobeint
erest
ing,andI
hadt
ogetmyemoti
onsincheck.Andtheonl
y
wayIknewhowwastosl
eep
[
05/
15,
21:
45]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

176

Waki
ngupknowingSiyaandIweremeeti
ng
wi
thNal
edi
,wasn'texact
lycomf
orti
ng.

Iwant
ednothi
ngtodowithSi
ya.Godonl
y
knowswhyagreedt
oiti
nthefi
rstpl
ace.

Igotupandtookashower,thenwent
downstai
rst
omakebr eakf
ast.

Si
yacamedownwi
thLesedi
inhi
sar
ms.
Iser
vedt
hem br
eakfast,anddeci
dedto
addr
esst
hebigelephantontheroom

Me:
sot
odayi
sDday
Hi
m: y
oumakei
tsoundl
i
kei
tst
heendoft
he
wor
ld
Me:
wel
li
tfeel
sli
kei
t 
Hi
m:har
dly
Me:
doi
real
l
yhav
etobet
her
e
Hi
m:no.ButI
'
dlov
etohav
eyout
her
e
Me:
fine
Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngt
oshower
,thenwecango 
Me:
ok.

Si
yawentupst
air
swhi
l
eigotl
esedi
cleanedup
Bytheti
meSi
yacamedowni
wasdonewi
th
Lesedi
andr
eadyt
oleav
e.

Hi
m:shal
lwe
Me:
weshal
l

Siy
adoveust
oasui
tinahot
elsomepl
acei
n
kayal
ami
. 
Hedidn'tbot
herchecki
ngin,wej
usttookt
he
el
evatorandrodeuptothetopfl
oor.

Whenwearr
ivedSiy
aopenedthedoorand
t
herest
oodNaledi
inbl
acklacel
inger
ie

Si
yal
ookedatherandt
henatme.

Hi
m:Nal
edi
whatt
hehel
l
Nal
edilookedatmeandhadasmi
l
eonher
f
ace,butthenputagownon

Her
:notmyf
aul
tyoudeci
dedt
obr
ingher
Hi
m:y
ouar
einsane
Her
:ni
tqui
te.Whydon'
tyout
wot
akeaseat

Iobser
vedNaledi
andwonder
edwhatshehad
uphersleev
e.

Isatnexttoaagit
atedSiyaandhopedf
ort
he
best,becausei
nallhonest
ymybloodwas
boil
i
ng.

Nal
edioff
eredussomethi
ngt odri
nkandwe
bot
hsaidnot hanky
ou.Honestl
yiwasgetti
ng
mad.Thi
sbitchwasoverherewithl
inger
ie
underasil
krobeandshethoughti
woul
ddr
ink
anyt
hingshehadtooff
er.

Her:Wel
lsi
nceyoudeci
dedtobr
ingheral
ong.I
mightaswel
ltel
li
tli
kei
tis

Hi
m:gett
othepoi
nt

Her
:Iwanty
out
oreconsi
dert
heweddi
ng

Hi
m:nothappeni
ng

Her
:whyt
hehel
lnot

Hi
m:becausei
sai
dso

Her
:it
sheri
snti
t
Naledipoi
ntedatmeandal
lisawwashat
redi
n
hereyes

Hi
m:Nal
edimywi
feandmydaught
er,
andmy
ar
emyli
fe.
 
i
wil
lnotl
oset
hem becauseofy
ou

Her
:r
eal
l
y?howaboutt
hepr
emi
sesy
oumade
t
ome

Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryNal
edi
.But

Her
:wel
lyoul
eav
emenochoi
ce.

Hi
m:what
sthatsupposedt
omean
Her:youdidn'
thonestl
ythinkt
hatIwouldlet
thi
sgo.Youandy ourbrotherr
uinedmylif
e,and
nowi t
sti
mef ormet ogiveyouat ast
ehow
bit
teriam

Hi
m:Nal
edi

Her:
no.Youwantt ogobacktoyourhappyli
tt
le
fami
ly,andwhataboutme.Yourf
amilyhaveyet
humil
iatedmeagain.
Thewholeworldknewaboutourwedding.And
nowallofasuddeny oudeci
deyoudon'twant
meanymor e.Wellt
hat'
snothowitworks.I
fi
l
ose,t
heny oulose

Hi
m: wi
ll
youst
opr
ambl
i
ngandt
ell
mewhy
we'
reher
e
Her
:youputtheweddingbackonorel
sei
wil
l
t
ell
theworl
dy ourbi
ggestsecr
et

Si
yatensedupabi
t,andmyf
usewasaboutt
o
bl
ow

Hi
m:whatdoy
oumean

Her:
ithoughtt
hatsi
ncewewer
ebothvict
ims,
youwouldsti
cktoyoupr
omi
se.Notj
ustforme
butf
orourcountr
y

Me:youar ehonestl
yderanged.Youwer
ea
vi
cti
mj ustasmuchashewas, andnowyou
wanttouset hatagai
nsthim

Her
:youstayoutoft
hisyoubi
tch.I
fitwasn'
t
f
oryouSiy
aandi wouldbemarri
edtomorrow
Me:
didy
ouj
ustcal
lmeabi
tch

Her
:isur
eashel
ldi
d

IgotupbutSi
yahel
dmedown

Hi
m:babydont

Me:
getmeoutofher
e

Hi
m:l
etsgo

Webot
hgotupandwal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoor

Her
:Thi
sisn'
tov
erSi
ya.Youwi
l
lpayf
orwhat
y
ouandyourbr
otherdi
dtome.Icanpr
omi
se
y
outhat

Siyaandi l
eftt
hehotel,
bothpissedashell
.
Naledihadjustdecl
aredwar,andunfor
tunat
ely
forussheknewt heonesecretthatsi
yahad
keptsincehewasachi l
d.

Si
yadr oveoutt
hepar
kingl
i
keaman
possessed.

Me:
babysl
owdown
Hi
m:dont
 
Me:
itsgoi
ngt
obef
ine 
Hi
m:How?SheknowRi
fi
loe.

Me:
we'
l
lfi
gur
ethi
sout
.Toget
her
wedrovet
herestofthewayi
nsil
ence.Inst
ead
ofgoi
nghome,Siyadri
vet
ohisof
fices.

Wewal
kedint
otheagencyandSi
ya
i
mmedi
atel
ywentint
oGhost.

Hegather
edhisteam andshout
edor
der
slef
t
r
ightandcent
re.

hehadNai
l
stracki
ngNal
edi
'
sphoneandhad
PI
'sdoi
ngr
esearch

Naledihadjustmadethebi
ggestmist
akeofher
l
ife.ShehadmadeanenemyofGhostandl ord
knowst hatwasneveragoodthi
ng
[
05/
15,
21:
53]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
177

Istayedwit
hSiyaAttheof f
icet
hroughoutthe
day.Iknowhewaspi ssedbutunfort
unatelyfor
histeam t
hatmeantthatGhostwasi nful
l
swing.Hewassol i
vi
dt hathewenttothe
shootingr
angeinthebasementofhi soff
ices,
andwentwi l
d.

It
ookthatmoment
,andwentt
ospeakt
o
Hl
okes.

Me:
douhav
eami
nut
e 
Hi
m:notr
eal
ly.AsyoucanseeGhosti
sn'
t
t
aki
nganypr
isoner
stoday 
Me:
iknow.Butt
hiswi
l
lonl
ytakeami
nut
e
hi
m:ok.Comei
n
Iwal
kedi
ntohi
sof
fi
ce,
andcl
osedt
hedoor

Hi
m:what
sup
Me:
ineedaf
avour
Hi
m:what
 
Me:
youcantt
ell
Siy
athough
Hi
m:j
ustt
ell
me
Me:
ineedagun

Hlokesl
aughedhi
seyesout.Her
eiwasbei
ng
seri
ousandhewaslaughi
ng

Me:
didi
saysomet
hingf
unny
hi
m: y
oumustbehi
gh.Whyonear
thwoul
dyou
needagun
me:
hlokesmaan
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Gunsar
enochi
l
dspl
ay
Me:
iknowt
hat
Hi
m:sowhyt
hesuddenneedf
oragun
Me:
imi
ghtneedt
opr
otectmy
sel
f 
hi
m:y
ouhav
eGhostf
ort
hat
Me:
mxm
Hi
m:doy
ouev
enknowhowt
ohandl
eagun
Me:
iwashopi
ngy
ouwoul
dteachme
Hi
m:sor
ryFi
fi
.But
 
Me:Hl
okesplease.
.whatNal
edi
sai
dscar
edme.
Thel
ookinhereyetol
dmeshehatedme.
Pl
ease
hi
m:si
gh
me:
pleasehl
okes
Hi
m:y
our
eal
i
seGhostwontl
i
ket
his.
 
me:i
know.Butthi
sissuewit
hNaledii
sbigger
t
hanjustav
erbalt
hreat
.She'
soutforbl
ood
Hi
m:f
ine
Me:
thanky
ou
Him:Ghostisschedul
edforCTtomorrow.He
hasameetingwiththedefencemi
nist
er.I
llpi
ck
uupat11
me:
your
ethebest

Igav
ehl
okesahugandwal
kedouthi
sof
fi
ce.

Idecidedtodr
ivehomealone.Siy
awasst i
ll
shootingandiwasti
red.Soideci
dedt ogi
ve
him spaceandtr
yprepari
ngsomet hi
ngspeci
al
fordinner
.

Wheni gothome.Lesedi
waswi t
hhernannyin
theplay
room.Iplay
edwithherabit
,thenwent
star
twithDinner
.

ImadesomeofSi
ya'
sfav
our
it
efood.Then
askedthenannytotakeLesedi
wit
hhertoher
l
ivingquar
ter
sforthenight
.Iwant
edyoensur
e
thatSi
yaandIhadawar mromant
icni
ght
.

Wehadbeent hr
oughsosomuchandi was
convi
ncedmostofitwasduet oSiya'
s
sel
fi
shnessbutnowt hatIknowt hati
twas
becauseofhisi
nsecuri
tiesandHi spastwith
Dumisani
.Iwasgoingt omakei tmymi ssionto
makewhat ev
erthi
sthingbetweenuswor k.

Bytheti
meSi y
aar
ri
vedthehousewasdi
m and
ihadlai
doutmyvani
ll
ascent
edcandl
es
ever
ywhere.

hi
m:what
sal
lthi
s?
me:it
houghti
woul
ddosomet
hingspeci
alf
or
you
Hi
m:t
hef
oodsmel
l
samazi
ng
Me:
Ihopey
ou'
l
lenj
oyt
hedeser
tjustasmuch 
hi
m:(chuckl
es)icanguar
ant
eei
l
lenj
oydeser
t
howeverit
sserv
ed
me:
slowdowncowboy
.Let
sgety
ouf
edf
ir
st
Hi
m:comegi
vedaddyaki
ss 
Me:
wit
hpl
easur
e

Il
eanedinandgavehi
m akisst
hatempt
iedout
al
ltheemoti
onsoftheday
.

Whenwefi
nal
l
ybr
okei
tof
fwewer
ebot
hfi
l
led
wi
thl
ust
.

Me:
weshoul
deat
Hi
m:y
aah,
buti
kindofl
i
ket
hismor
ethanf
ood 
Me:
int
hatcasecar
rymeupst
air
s 
Hi
m:y
esmam
Si
yascoopedmeupandwewentupst
air
s.

Hel
aymeont hebedandhi
shungr
yli
pswer
e
onminei
nseconds.

Ilayunderneathhim ashekissedme.Icould
feelhi
serectionrubbingi
nmet hr
oughhis
pants,andthatmademeev enmor ehungryf
or
him.

Istar
tedunbut
toni
nghi
sshi
rtasheundi
dmy
robe.

Si
yal
ookedatmeast
her
oveopened.

Hi
m:Gody
ou'
resodamnsexy
 
Me:
thanky
ou

Si
yawentbackt
oki
ssi
ngme,andthi
sti
me
movedt
omyneckandthenmystomach.

Iknewjustt
henwhathewasgoi
ngt
odoandI
j
ustcouldn'
twai
t.

Hemov
edf
rom myst
omacht
omyi
nnert
highs.

Itookadeepbr eathasiant
ici
patedhi
sli
pson
myf ountain.Butinst
eadhemov edbackupand
tr
iedkissingmeont hel
ipsbutitur
nedmyface
andhel andedonmycheek

Hi
m:(
chuckl
es)
Me:
Iam notl
aughi
ng
Hi
m:what
 
Me:
youknowwhat
 
Hi
m:i
don'
t 
Me:
Siy
adon'
tpl
aywi
thme
Hi
m:Tel
lmewhaty
ouwant
Me:
Youknowexact
lywhati
want
Hi
m:Iwantt
oheary
ousayi
t
Me:
Iwanty
oubaby
.Pl
ease
Hi
m:buty
oual
readyhav
eme
Me:
mxm
Hi
m:t
ell
meexact
lywhaty
ouwant
Me:
Iwanty
ourl
i
psdownt
her
e 
Hi
m:wher
e?her
e?

heki
ssedmyneck,
andt
henl
ookedupatme
Me:
lower

Hemovedtomybreast
sandstar
tedsucki
ng.I
hel
dont
othesheet
sandthenhestopped
Hi
m:I
sthatt
hespot
?
Me:
no.Lower

Hest
art
edkissi
ngmytummyandicoul
dfeel
hewascl
ose.Butt
henhest
opped

Me:
justal
i
ttl
elower
 
Hi
m:y
ousur
e? 
Me:
yes
Hi
s:askni
cel
y
Me:
babypl
ease
Hi
m:asl
ongasIgett
odoi
thowev
eri
li
ke
me:
ok
Hi
m:andf
orasl
ongasi
li
ke
Me:
yes.Yesy
es.Justdoi
t

Si
yagiggl
edabi
t,andst
art
edwor
kinghi
sway
backdowntot
heoutsi
deofmynussy

Hest
artedoutwi
thsmal
ll
it
tl
ekisses,
andthen
sl
owli
cks.Il
etgooft
hesheet
s,andheldont
o
hi
shead.

Het ookthisasanindicat
ionandst ar
ted
picki
ngupt hepace.Hekissed,l
ickedand
suckedt i
l
li coul
dn'
ttakei
tanymor e.Itr
ied
stoppinghim butheconti
nued.

Me:
SiohGosh.Wai
t.Ioh

Si
yacont
inuedt
il
liexpl
odedal
lov
erhi
m
Itri
edcontrol
li
ngmyshaki nglegs,andi t
hought
thatSiy
awoul dstop,buthedidnt.I
nsteadhe
gotmegoi ngalloveragain.Butt
histi
mehe
start
edfinger
ingme.Gi shSiyaknewhowt o
sati
sfyme.

Hetortur
edmet i
l
lhecoul
dfeel
thatIwasover
theedgeagai
n,buthest
oppedj
ustinthekni
ck
ofti
me.

Isweari
near
lysl
appedhi
m.

Him:Iwantt
ofeel
youcomewhi
l
eI'
minsi
de
you.

hegotupandundi
dhi
spant
sandwi
thi
na
secondhewasfi
ll
i
ngme.
SIYAknewi wasclose.Soheensuredthathe
mov edsl
owly.Thedeeperhewentthecloseri
got.Hestart
edgoingdeeperandfasterwhen
heknewt hatihadnomor ewill
toholdon.We
bothcoll
apsedandlettheorgasi
mt akeover
.

Whenwebothcaughtourbr
eathwelay
t
oget
herandenj
oyedtheaft
ereff
ect
soflov
e
maki
ng

HIM:i
fthisi
stheki
ndofwelcomethatI
'm
goi
ngtogetwheni comehome,t
henill
besur
e
togototheoff
icemoreof
ten

Me:
(gi
ggl
es)

Hi
m:nowI
'
dlov
esomedi
nner
me:il
lgetfr
eshenedup,
theni
l
lmakesur
e
you'
refed

Hi
m:don'
tbat
h.Ipl
anonhav
ingmor
edeser
t

Igotupandwentt
odi
shupf
orhi
m whi
l
eiwas
sti
l
lnaked.

Hefol
lowedmet
otheki
tchenandpour
edour
dr
inks

Hi
m:sowhat
sthi
sihearofy
ouwant
ingagun

Ihadagl
assi
nmyhandandnear
lydr
oppedi
t

Me:
baby
hi
m:t
heansweri
sno
Hegav
emeaki
ssandcar
ri
edourf
oodupst
air
s.

Iknowhesai dno, buti

wasn'tgoingt ogi
veup.
Naledihadthreatenedmyf amilyandnowi twas
ti
mei gotinther ingandputast opt oher.
Naledi
'sdayswer enumbered.Irefusedtowai t
forSiy
at ogot hroughprot
ocol f
irst.Iwanted
heroutourway .
[
05/
15,
21:
54]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

178

Si
yaandIenjoyedther estofourdi
nneri
nbed.
Theeveni
ngwentj ustasi hadpl
annedandwe
bot
henjoyedit
.Ifellasl
eepi nSi
ya'
sarmsand
wokeupfeeli
ngrev i
ved.
Si
yawasal
readyi
ntheshower
,soIwentt
ojoi
n
hi
m.

Hi
m:Icoul
dgetusedt
othi
s 
Me:
pit
tyI
'
m noty
ourwi
feany
mor
e

Si
yasti
l
ledabi
t,andcar
ri
edonwashi
ngmy
back

Me:
Iwasj
ustj
oki
ng 
Hi
m:y
ouwer
etel
l
ingt
het
rut
h
Me:Si
yaIdon'
tneedapieceofpapert
otel
lme
t
hatIam y
oursoulmat
e. 
Hi
m:Iknowi
t'
sjustt
hat(
sigh)nev
ermi
nd
Me:
tal
ktome 
Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngt
obel
ate
Siyast
eppedouttheshower,
andi
fini
shedof
f,
thenwenttogetdressed.

WhenIwentdownstai
rsSi
yaandLesedi
wer
e
hav
ingbr
eakfast.

ItookLesedi andgaveheraki
ss.Hersmil
etol
d
meshemi ssedmej ustasmuchasihad
missedher .Iknowitwasonl
yonenightbuti
hadhonest lymissedher.

Si
yal
ookedatusandsmi
l
ed.

Hi
m:baby
 
Me:
mhmm
Hi
m:I'
m goingtoCapeTownt oday.I
'
vegota
meet
ingthere.ThenIneedt
ogot oKZN 
Me:
oh
Hi
m;Ishoul
dbebackonChr
ist
masev
e. 
Me:
mhmm

Idon'
tknowwhy
,butmyi
nsecur
it
ieski
ckedI
n
atful
lfor
ce.

Iwassousedt ousbeinginoursmal ll
it
tl
e
bubble.Thatthethoughtofhim bei
ngout si
de
ourbubblemademeuncomf ort
able.Ihadn'
t
spokent ohi
sf amil
ysincethedayItoldhis
uncl
et ogot ohell
.AndNowHewasgoi ngthere
andtheywoul dprobablymakemeoutt obet hi
s
monst er

Hi
m:Babywhati
sit
Me:
not
hing 
Hi
m:don'
tdot
hat
Me:
dowhat
 
Him:don'
tshutmeout.Icanseey
ou'
renotok
butIdon'
tknowwhy 
Me:
Siy
aI'
mfi
ne.I
'
mjustbei
ngchi
l
dish 
Hi
m:t
ell
me 
Me:it'
sjustthatI'
m worr
iedthatyouunclewil
l
makey ouchangey ourmind.Andy ou'
ll
come
backandt el
lmey ou'r
emar r
yingNaledi
,andI'
ll
feel
li
keani diotagai
nforopeningmyheatt o
you.

Si
yasi
ghedandhel
douthi
shandf
ormet
osi
t
onhi
slap

Him:Rifi
loe,al
lI'
m goi
ngtodoisfinishoffwhat
Istar
ted.Ineedtoapologi
zet
ot hefamilyand
alsol
etthem knowaboutDumisani sdeath

Me:
Siy
ano
Him:Ri
fi
loe.Ihadnochoice.I
Twasei
therhi
m
orme.Andf oroneIchoseme

IlookedatSi
yashocked.Idi
dn'
texpectf
orhi
m
tokil
lDumisani
.Ihadhonest
lyt
houghtHe
wouldjustr
oughhim upabit

Him:movingon.Ial
soneedtotr
yfi
ndawayt
o
keeptheLesot
hodeal.Whi
chiswhyI'
l
lbe
star
ti
ngoffinCT.

Me:
whati
fyoucan'
tsal
vaget
hedeal
Him:t
henitiswhatiti
s.I'
m notwi
l
li
ngtol
ose
whatwehavebecauseoft hi
sdeal
.Iwoul
d'
v e
l
ovedtohaveboth,butyouaremorei
mportant
soIchoseyou
Me:
(si
gh)
 
Him;youdon'thavetoworr
yyoursel
fabout
anyt
hing.I
naf ewdaysI'
ll
bebackandwewi ll
l
iveouttherestofourl
i
vestoget
her.
 
Me:
Wil
lyoucomebackwi
thOl
wet
ho?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknow.I
'
llsee 
Me:
please 
Hi
m:y
oumi
sshi
m
Me:
bey
ond 
Hi
m:ok.I
'
llspeakt
omymom
Me:itdoesn'
thavet
obeforl
ong.Justsohe
canspendChrist
maswi
thus 
Hi
m:ok
Me:
thanks 
Hi
m:sohav
eyouspokent
omymom

Ir
oll
edmyey
esandgotupf
rom hi
slap.
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe 
Me:
baby
,canwenotgot
her
e.Pl
ease 
Hi
m:whati
sgoi
ngonwi
thy
out
wo
Me:
not
hing 
Him:Ri
fi
loe.Youknowhowmuchsheador
es
you 
Me: andyetshecouldn'
tev
encomeandseeher
granddaughter
?Lesedii
s7mont hsold,andshe
knowsmyauntmor ethanyourmother.She
didntevenphonetosayIheardaboutthebaby.
Noonei nyourfamil
ydid
Hi
m:Iknowbaby
.It'
sjustt
hatwit
hev er
ythi
ng
t
hatwasgoi
ngon,andthediv
orce.Idon'
tthi
nk
t
heyknewwhatt
odoorsay  
Me:
sot
hati
smyf
aul
t 
Hi
m:noofcoursenot
.It
'sj
ustt
hatmymother
wastol
dtostayawayfr
om youbyt
hechi
ef.
Andshehadnochoi
ce.
 
Me: sobasi
cal
l
yLesedi
isnotacknowl
edgedby
yourfamil
y
Him: shewil
lbe.Ij
ustneedt
osor
tthi
ngsout
.
Thenwe' l
lper
form acer
emonyf
orher
.To
i
ntroducehertomyancestor
s 
Me:
Idon'
tseet
heuse 
Him:Baby .Justt
rustme.I'
llmakethi
sri
ght
.I
pr
omi se.Let'
sgetpastthesemeeti
ngs.Bur
y
Dumisani.Thenwecanst artsor
ti
ngoutour
l
ives 
Me:
Ok
Hi
m:sowe'
reok 
Me:
yahIguess 
Him:sowill
i
ngbewel
comei
nyourhousewhen
Igetback
Me:aslongasyoubr
ingmysonwi
thy
out
hen
we'
l
l begood 
Him: Il
oveyouRifi
l
oe.Mor ethananyt
hingin
thi
swor l
d.Iam goi
ngt ogiveyouever
ythi
ngy ou
everdreamedof.Ijustneedalit
tl
eti
met oir
on
outthecreases 
Me;
Ilov
eyout
oo

IgaveSiyaakissandLesedi
start
edcr
ying.We
bothlookedatherandshestar
tedsmi
li
ng
i
nstead.

Hi
m:IBet
tergi
vemybabysomel
ove.
 
Me:
She'
sgoi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou 
Him:i
t'
sonl
yaf
ewday
s.I
'
llbebackbef
orey
ou
knowit
Me:
ok

Siy
aplayedwi
thLesedi
forabit
.Andt
henwent
togetsomest
ufffr
om hisbedr
oom.
Hi
m: domeaf av
ourandst
ayoutoft
roubl
e
whi
leI'
m away
Me:
(chuckl
es)I
'
llt
ry 
Hi
m:BabyI
'
m ser
ious.Noguns.
 
Me:
butbaby
.Pl
easedon'
tmakemel
i
etoy
ou
Him:Ri
fi
loe.Idon'
twanty
oubei
ngi
nvol
vedi
n
anyoft
his 
Me:
buti
am i
nvol
ved 
Hi
m:y
es,
butnowI
'
m handl
i
ngi
t
Me:al
lIwanti sonemeet i
ngwithher
.Iwon'
t
hur
ther.I'
l
ljustroughherupabitemoti
onal
l
y.
Andmay beasl aportwo.Not
hingmajor
 
Him:ast
urnedonasIam att
hemoment
.The
answeri
ssti
ll
no.
 
Me:
yout
urnedon
Hi
m:I
'
m har
dasar
ock.
 
Me:
(gi
ggl
es)
 
Him: I
tsall
yourfault
.Ilov
eitwhenyou'r
eso
heated.ButIwon'thaveyouroughi
nganyone
up.Orslappinganyone.You'
retoobeaut
iful
for
that
Me:
butSi
Him: no.AndRifi
loe.Pleasepl
easedon'
ttry
anything.Youknowt heguardswatchoveryou.
Ify
oupl anany
thi
ng.I'l
lknow 
Me;
mxm f
ine
Hi
m:oknowgi
vemeaki
ss

Isteppedcloserandgavehim asl
owsultr
ykiss.
Iknowhewasonl ygoingawayforacoupl
eof
days, buti
justfel
tli
kehewouldbegonefor
decades.Siyacouldsensemyanxiet
yinour
ki
ss, sohepulledmecloser
,andwhisper
edin
myear
Hi
m:i
t'
sonl
yaf
ewday
s. 
Me:
Iknow

Iki
ssedhi m andthi
sti
meitgotr
eal
lyheat
ed.
ButjustasIthoughtIhadwonhi
m overHl
okes
walkedin.Mxm

Hl
okes:
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)yout
woneedt
ogeta
r
oom

Si
yapul
l
edawayandki
ssedmynose

Him:wehavet
hewhol
ehouse.Whywoul
dwe
conf
ineour
sel
vest
ooner
oom

Hl
okestookoutabott
leofwat
erf
rom the
f
ri
dge.Whil
eSiyagav
emeonemor ekiss
Hlokes:
dudeweneedt
ogo.St
opchewi
ngher
headoffjeez
 
Me:
shutupHl
okes 
Him:mxm.Ihopeyou'
veconvi
ncedmi ss
Bonni
eher
etostayawayfrom guns 
Me:yesHLOKES.Cl
ydeher
ehadmadei
tver
y
cl
ear

Si
yal
aughedandwentt
oki
ssLesedi
goodby
e.

Si
yaandHl okeslef
tandil
etoutasight
.
Hopeful
l
ySi yawouldbehomesoon,andwe
wouldstar
ttrul
ygetti
ngt
hingsbacktonor
mal
.

Thefi
rstdaywi t
houtSiy
awasrather
depr
essing.LesediwasMoodyashell.She
woul
dn'tstopcryi
ng.Ievent
ual
l
ygavehera
teaspoonofpanadoandhopedshewoul
dfal
l
asleep.

WhenSiyacal
l
edIhadj
ustmanagedt
oputher
t
osleep

Me:
papawaKhany
i 
Hi
m:goshImi
ssy
ouguy
s
Me:
wemi
ssy
out
oo 
Hi
m:y
ousoundt
ir
ed 
Me:wel
lsomeonekeptmeuplastni
ghtand
nowyourdaught
erisasf
ussyashel
l
,she'
s
beencr
yingal
lday
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y 
Me:
yaah
Hi
m:doy
out
hinkshe'
ssi
ck 
Me:
noshe'
sjustmi
ssesy
ou
Hi
m:keepmeupdat
ed 
Me:
Wil
ldo 
Hi
m:BabyI
'
vegott
orun.
 
Me:
okl
ove.
 
Hi
m:chatl
ater
 
Me:
byebaby

Afterspeakingt oSiyaIdecidedtodosome
researchonNal edi.Theonlyt hi
ngIpr omi sed
Siyawast hatIwoul dn'thar
m herphy sically.Al
l
Iwasdoi ngwasget ti
ngt oknowwhoNal edi
was.Ifshepl annedonspeaki ngaboutSi ya
beingabused, thenIwoul dhav etof
ind
somet hi
ngabouthert hatIcoulduseagai nst
her

Il
ookedever
ywherebutfoundnot
hing.Nal
edi
wassqueakycl
ean.t
herewasnothingabout
herthatIcoul
duse.Not hi
ngatall
.Thatalone
pi
ssedmeof f
.Howwasi tpossi
blethatt
here
wasnoscandal .Aren'
troyal
salwaysinthe
headli
nesforbeingbad? 
Wellnott hi
sr oyal
.Thi
schi ckwastheheroof
hercount ry
.Shewaspr aisedandadoredby
everyone.Shehadst ar
tedsomanyshel tersand
orphanagesi nhercountr
y .Andyetsheseemed
somi serableandangry,whenIwentt oseeher
withSiya.Itjustmademewonderwhoshe
real
lywas?

Si
nceIcoul
dn'
tfi
ndanythi
ngonNal
edi
,Ihadt
o
fi
ndapri
vat
einvest
igat
or.

Ther
ewasj ustsomethingaboutthi
sgir
l t
hatI
di
dn'
tunderstand.Nomat t
erhowsqueaky
cl
eanshewas.Mygutt ol
dmet ocarryon
di
ggi
ng.Iknewt hatevent
uall
yIwouldfind
somethi
ng.Iwasn'twil
li
ngtogiveupunt i
lIdi
d
[
05/
15,
21:
55]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

179

Ispoketothepriv
ateinvest
igator
sandtoldhi
m
Ineededtheinfobefor
eChristmaseve.Iwas
sodesperateIoff
eredtopayhim doublesi
nce
i
twast hefesti
veseason.

Ineededt ogetri
dofNaledibef
oreshestr
ikes.
OtherwiseIwouldloseSiy
aandIwasn'tWill
ing
todot hat
.Especial
lysi
ncehetol
dmet hetruth
abouthim beingabused.

Ispenttherestofmydaytry
ingtocalm down
Lesedi.Ihadnoti
cedshewasteethi
ng,soI
gavehert hegelf
orhergums,andshe
eventuall
ycalmeddown.
Thatever
ningIrecei
vedacal
lfrom Ronal
d.He
hadfeedbackformebutinsi
stshecouldn'
ttal
k
overt
hephone. 
SoIgav ehi
m myaddr ess.Iknowt hatSiy
a
wouldbepissed.Buthopefull
ythei nf
ormati
on
thatRonal
dhadwoul dcalm him down.And
helpusdealwit
hwi t
hNal edionceandf oral
l.

WhenRonaldar
ri
vedIwenttothegatean
escor
tedhi
minsi
de.Thankf
ull
yLesediwasf
ast
asl
eep.

Me:
CanIof
fery
ousomet
hingt
odr
ink
Hi
m:not
hanky
ou.Let
'sst
artwi
tht
hei
nfof
ir
st 
Me:
ok

Wemov
edt
othedi
ningr
oom,
andRonal
dtook
outhi
slapt
op

Him:itwasratherdif
ficul
tfi
ndi
ngany
thingon
thepri
ncess.Ont hetopsheseemsli
ket he
peopl
e'speople.Butunderneat
hal
lofthatli
es
thetr
uth

Me:
thet
rut
habout
?

Hi
m:Thebi
ggestf
raudst
eri
nthewor
ld,

Me:
I'
mlost

Him: Pr
incessNal
edii
sat hi
ef.Al
lthesweet
orphanagesandshel
ter
ssher unsareal
lafront
.
Sheisactuall
ysel
l
ingdrugs
Me:
no

Him:that'
snotit
.Shepocket
sal
lthedonat
ions
fr
om S.A.fort
heshelt
ersandor
phanages.
Thosekidsli
veli
ketheyarei
napigst
i.

Me:buti
thoughtshewoul
dhav
emoney
.Shei
s
r
oyal
tyaft
eral
l

Him:hermotherhascancer .Ther oy alfami l

y
havespentafor t
unemedi cat
ions, andt ri
als.
Butsheisonlygettingworse.Whi chi swhy
Theyspoketot hechieftogetMrNdhl ovuto
marryNaledi
.Thiswasheri deaofmaki ngback
al
lthemoneyt heyhadl ostwit
hthet reatment ,
andtohelpherwi thherdrugfactor y

Me:
thati
sal
ott
oabsor
b 
Hi
m: it
'sal
lsadr
eal
l
y.Shehassomanypeopl
e
f
ooled 
Me:
notf
orl
ong

Hi
m:whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odowi
tht
hei
nfo 
Me:Ididn'
texpectf
ori
ttobet
hisbad.Iguess
I
'l
lhavetothi
nkabouti
t.
 
Hi
m:ok.Wel
li
t'
sal
lont
hef
lash

Me:
thanky
ou.Letmegety
ourmoney
.

Iwentupst
air
stof
etcht
hemoney
,andt
hen
pai
dRonald.

Hecount
edi
tandgav
emet
hef
lashdr
ive,
then
l
eft
.
Iroamedar
oundtheroom wonder
inghowi
was
goingt
otel
lSi
yaaboutthi
s.

Iwantedt
ocall
him,
butdeci
dedtowai
tti
llt
he
morni
ng.Maybebyt
henIwouldhav
eaclear
deci
si
ononwhatIwant
edtodo.

Iwokeupt hefoll
owingmorni
ngandknewt hatI
hadnochoi cebuttotel
lSi
yaaboutwhatIhad
di
scovered.Iwoulddealwi
thhisrageatal
ater
stage.

Idial
l
edhi
m,andt
hankf
ull
yheanswer
edi
nthe
3rdri
ng

Hi
m:Baby
 
Me:
mor
ning 
Hi
m:what
'sup 
Me:
Iahhm.Ineedt
otel
lyousomet
hing 
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loear
eyouok?I
sitLesedi
?
Me:
nobabyMaan.Lesedi
andi
aref
ine 
Hi
m:sowhatI
sit
 
Me:
Ineedt
oseey
ou
Hi
m:Baby
.I'
l
lbebacki
ntomor
rowmos
Me:
Iknow,
buti
t'
sur
gent
.
Hi
m:howur
gent
 
Me:
justr
eal
l
yur
gentSi
ya.
Hi
m: Iwasabouttofl
ytoDur
ban.I
'
llchangemy
f
li
ghtplan.I
'
llseey
ouinafewhour
s 
Me:
thanky
ou 
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eyou'
reok 
Me:
cer
tai
n.

Iendedmycallwit
hSiyaandwentt
otakea
shower.ThenIwentt
ocheckonLesedi
.She
wasst
il
lfastasl
eep.

Itookagoodl ookatmybabyandsawnoneof
meni nher.Lesedi
isaspit
ti
ngimageofher
father
.Evenwhenshesleeps.Whatmakesme
l
aughi st
hewayshewr i
nkl
esherfacewhen
she'smad.ThatisSiy
aathisverybest
.

LesediwokeupjustasIwasstar
ingather
.She
l
ookedatmeandsmi l
ed.Ipi
ckedherandwent
togiveherani
cebath
Thenwewentandhadbr
eakf
astt
oget
her
.

Siy
aarr
ivedhomer i
ghtaft
ernoon.Ihadmade
l
asagnebutunf
ortunat
elyforhi
m Lesedi
was
enj
oyi
ngheraft
ernoonnap.

Hi
m:Somet
hingsmel
l
sgood 
Me:
Iit
sthel
asagne 
Hi
m: Baby
.pl
easetel
lmeyoudi
dn'
tbr
ingmeal
l
t
hiswaytoeatl
asagne 
Me:
andwhati
fIdi
d?
Him:I'
l
ltakey
ouupstair
sri
ghtt
hismi
nut
eand
spankthehe'
l
loutofyou
Me:
soundsf
un 
Hi
m:f
ormemay
be.Butnotsomuchf
ory
ou
Me:Ithi
nkyoutendtoforgett
hatIhavebeen
shi
tbefor
e.AndthatIhavegiv
enbirt
h.Which
meansmyt ol
eranceforpai
nisquit
ehigh
Hi
m:(
chuckel
s)howcoul
dIf
orget
? 
Me: okonaseri
ousnot
e.Ididn'
tbri
ngyouhere
tospankmeortoeatLasagne.Iaskedyouher
e
becauseIbel
i
eveyouneedtoseet hi
s 
Hi
m:seewhat

Imov
edust
othedi
ningr
oom,
andopenedmy
l
apt
op.

Il
efthi
mther
ewhil
eIwenttodishupforus.
WhenIcamebackSiy
alookedpissedashel
l

Hi
m:wher
edi
dyougett
his 
Me:
afr
iend 
Hi
m:who
Me:Baby
.Pl
easedon'
tbemad.Ij
ustwant
edt
o
hel
p
Hi
m: Ri
fi
loe.I
fIwanty
ourhel
p.I'
l
laskforit
.
Whatyoudidwasputyour
sel
findanger 
Me:
but
 
Hi
m:y
oupr
omi
sed
Me:Ipr
omisedIwoul
dn'
tgoneargunsorsl
ap
her
.Idi
dn'
tpromi
senott
odigupshitonher
Hi
m:(
sigh)y
ouar
esoDamnannoy
ingandy
et
soDamnsexy
Me:
soy
ou'
renotmad 
Him:
ooh.I
'm mad.Li
ker
eal
l
ymad.ButIl
ove
youf
orcar
ing 
Me:
soI
'
mfor
giv
en 
Hi
m: notqui
tey
et.Youhav
etowor
kat
f
orgi
veness 
Me: andwhatwouldy
oupr
oposeIdot
ogai
n
yourforgi
veness 
Him:Howabouty
ouhi
reaPI
?May
behe'
l
ltel
l
you
Me:
mxm

Siy
asmi l
edatme, anddugintohisfood.Iknow
hewasmad, butiwasgl adhewasn'tshouti
ng.
I
nsteadhewasembr aci
ngthefactthatIam an
i
ndivi
dualandthatIdon'
ttaketokindlyt
obeing
tol
dwhattodo.
Aft
erlunch,
Siy
awenttotakeashower
,whi
l
eI
checkedonacryi
ngLesedi
. 
WhenSi yacamebackdownst ai
rs.Lesedi
saw
him andimmediat
elyst
oppedcry i
ng.She
openedhear msforhi
mt opickherupaandjust
l
ikethatshehadSiyaputt
yinherhands.

Me:
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odoaboutt
hei
nfo
Hi
m:Ineedt
oputapl
ani
npl
ace.
 
Me:
whatt
imedoy
ouf
lyt
oKZN?
Hi
m:t
omor
rowmor
ning
Me"oh 
Hi
m:I'
l
lleav
efi
rstt
hing.ThenI
'
llbebackby
mi
dday
Me:
ok
Hi
m:don'
tpout
.Iwon'
tmi
ssy
ourbi
rt
hday
.I
pr
omi
se 
Me:Ijustwi
sht
hisNal
edit
hingwoul
dbeov
er
al
ready.I
t'
ssoDamndrai
ning
Him: Iknowbaby.Butwi
thall
theinf
owehav e
againsther.I
t'
sonl
yamat t
erofti
me.Al l
that
needst ohappennowisformetouset heinf
o
forust osecur
ethedeal
goesonaspl anned
Me:
oh 
Hi
m:what
 
Me:
not
hing.

Il
eftSi yaintheloungeandwentt othekit
chen.
Idon'tknowwhybutf orsomer eason,Iwasa
bi
tdi ssapointedthatafteral
lthi
s.Siyawould
sti
l
lbei nt heforce.Iknowhedi dn'tsay
anythingaboutqui tt
ing.ButIthoughtthat
may be.Justmay behewoul dwantt oandwe
couldt r
ulymov eon.

Ideci
dedIwastgoi
ngt
ofor
cet
hei
ssue.I
fSi
ya
andIwer egoingtostar tourrelationshi
pagain,
thenIwasn'tgoingtof orcehimt omaket he
decisi
onforhimself.Iwasgoi ngt odomybest
tobethesuppor ti
vepar tner.May bewi t
htime
hewoul ddeci
det oleav e.Plusthef ewweeks
thathehasbeenst ayingwi thushehadbeen
doingagoodj obatbal ancingf ami l
yandwor k.
Sowhywoul dIcompl ainabouthi sj obti
tl
e.As
l
ongaswewer ebothhappy .Thatwasal lIhad
toworryabout.
[
05/
15,
21:
56]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

180

Thefol
lowingmor ningSiyalef
tforKZN.Ihad
deci
dedt oletgooft hewholeNaledit
hing.I
t
wasbettertol etSi
yahandl eit
.Ihadhelped
enoughwi t
ht heinfo.Nowi twasinhishandsto
fi
xit
.
IspentmostofChr istmasevepr eparingf or
Chri
stmas.It'
sf unnyhowt hi
ngsmov esof ast.
LastyearIwast hi
st i
meIwasi nCubadeal ing
wit
hSi yasi
nfidelit
y.Whokneway earl aterwe
wouldbedi v
or cedandwor ki
ngona
rel
ati
onshipall overagain.Honestl
ySi y aandI
werecrazy.Thist hi
ngofour swasn' texact l
y
perf
ect.Butatl easthewast ryi
ngt omakei t
work.

AsIwast
hinki
ngaboutSi
ya.Hecal
l
ed

Me:
your
eadmymi
nd
Hi
m:Imi
ssut
oo
Me:
howwasy
ourf
li
ght
Him:Fi
ne.I'
vej
ustcomeoutofameetingwi
th
myfamily
.They'
real
ldi
str
aughtabout
Dumisani
Me:
wel
l
.Goodr
iddance
Hi
m:Baby
.Ineedt
oaskaf
avourf
rom y
ou
Me:
ok
Him:mymom wantstocomebacktoJOBwith
me.Shesaysshewant
stospendChri
stmas
andyourbi
rt
hdaywi
thus
Me:
(si
l
ence)
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe 
Me:
Baby
Hi
m:di
dyouhearwhatIsai
d. 
Me:ahmm canIcal,
youback?Lesedi
isup
f
rom hemi
dmor ningnap
Hi
m:Ri
f

Icutthecal
landt
ookinadeepbr eathinand
out.Lesedi
wassti
ll
fastasleep,
butijust
neededamomentt othinkaboutwhatSiyawas
askingme.Ihadj
ustreall
yhopedwecoul d
spendChr
istmaswi thjustt
he3ofsum butat
thesametimeIf el
tkindofselfi
shf orwant
ing
Tokeephimf rom hi
smot her.Especial
lysi
nce
theyhadj
ustlearnedaboutDumi sani
.SoIput
asidemyfeel
ingstowar dsher,andcall
edSiya
back

Hi
m:wasi
tnecessar
ytoputt
hephonedowni
n
myear
 
Me:
Sor
rybaby
.Lesedi
wasact
ingupabi
t 
Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe.I
'
m notachi
l
d 
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayy
ouwer
e 
Hi
m:sowhyl
i
e
Me:
Siy
a.St
op.
 
Him:fi
ne.Sodoy
ouhav
eananswerf
ormy
quest
ion 
Me:iwaskj
ndofuopi
ngwecoul
dspemd
chr
ist
masasjustt
he3ofus.
 
Hi
m: Iknowbaby
.ButIfeelbadl
eavingmy
motherher
etospendChrist
masalone. 
Me:
it'
sfi
neSi
ya.Youcanbr
ingheral
ong
Hi
m:y
ousur
e 
Me:
yaah 
Hi
m:t
hanky
oubaby
Me:
it'
scool
 
Hi
m:weshoul
dbet
her
ebyabout5pm
Me:
I'
ll
makesur
edi
nneri
sready
Hi
m:y
ou'
ret
hebest
 
Me:
anddon'
tyouf
orgeti
t.
 
Hi
m:Icoul
dnev
erf
orgeti
t.
 
Me:good.Nowletmego.SoIcangett
hespear
bedr
oom ready
Him:doesthatmeanIgetupgr
adedt
othemai
n
bedr
oom?  
Me:
mhmmm I
'
llt
hinkabouti
t
Him:
hawbaby.Butwhatwi
llmymom thi
nki
f
shef
indsmycl
othesi
nthespearr
oom
Me:
we'
redi
vor
cedSi
ya
Him:l
etmeendt
hisconv
ersat
ionbef
orei
tget
s
heat
ed 
Me:
what
?It
'
sthet
rut
hmos
Hi
m:by
eRi
fi
loe.I
'
llseey
oul
ater

Siyadroppedthecal
l
,andishookmyheadabi t
.
Idon'tknowwhyhewasannoy ed.Iwastel
l
ing
thetr
ut hmos.Wearediv
orced.Despi
teus
shackingup.

Irol
ledmyey esandwenttogetaroom ready
forSiya'
smom.ThenImov edal
lhi
sbelongings
i
ntomyr oom.Godonl yknewwherewewer e
headed,allIknowisthatIlov
ethi
scrazyman.
Andi don'twanttoevenimagineali
fewithout
him.
OnceIwasdoneget
ti
ngther
oom ready
,I
deci
dedt
ogot ot
heshop'
stogetafewthi
ngs.

Iki
ssedLesedi
,andl
ett
henannyknowIwas
goi
ng.

Oneoftheguardsinsi
stedondr i
vi
ngmet ot
he
mall
.Idi
dn'
tbotherprotest
ing.Sohedrov
eme,
whi
le2otherguardsdrovebehindus.

WhenIar ri
vedatt
hemal l
,i
twasratherali
ve.I
hadthoughtmostpeoplewouldbeaway ,buti
t
l
ookedlikeIwasn'
ttheonlyonewhohad
deci
dedt odosomel astminut
eshopping.

Istar
tedatt
hetoyshop,andboughtsomestuff
forOlwet
hoandLesedi.ThenIwentandbought
Siy
a'smotheraf ewgif
ts.ThenIwentgr
ocer
y
shoppi
ng,thenlastl
ywenttopickupAfew
thi
ngsforSiya.

Iwasnowr at
herthankfult
hattheguar
dshad
come.BecauseIhadn'tanti
cipat
edonbuy
ing
somanythings.

Oneoftheguardswentt oloadthecar ,whil

eI
wentint
ooneoft hej
ewell
erystores.Ineeded
somestudearningsforLesedi,
luckil
yIf ound
theonesIwanted.SoIboughtt hem, andjustas
Iwasleavi
ngNal ediwal
kedin

NowIknowt hatther
earecoinci
dencesinl
if
e,
butthi
sonewasn'toneofthem.Naledihad
del
iber
atel
ywaited

Foranoppor
tuni
ty.Soshewai
tedgomet
o
hav
ejustoneguar
dar
ound,
inst
eadofal
l3

Her
:wel
l
,wel
lwel
l
.Ifi
tisn'
tMr
sNdhl
ovu 
Me:Iwouldsayi
t'
sni
cetoseey
oubutwebot
h
knowthatIwoul
dbel
ying 
Her:(chuckl
es)wel
ll
et'
sgett
other
easonwhy
I
'm here 
Me:
you'
rest
alki
ngme 
Her
:don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
f
Me:
Nal
edi
.Justmov
eoutmyway
Herhowabouty
oumakeme

Il
ookedatNalediandsmil
ed.Thi
schi
ckwas
honest
lyonecrazypsy
cho.

Me:I'
m notonet
of i
ghtphysi
cal
l
yNaledi
.
Bel
i
eveme.Especiall
ysincemynai
l
slookso
good,plusIdon'
tthinkSiyawouldappr
ove.He
l
ikeshiswomanAl otlessghet
to
Her:j
okeally
oul
ike.Thi
sisn'
tover.Iwil
l
destr
oyyouandThatmanofy oursifi
tsthel
ast
thi
ngIdo. 
Me:
that
'si
fweDon'
tgett
oyouf
ir
st
Her
:ist
hatat
hreat
Me:
noit'
sapromise.Keepmessingwi
thmy
f
amil
ybi
tch.Andiwil
lmakey ouwishy
oudi
ed
t
hedayDumisani
rapedy ou.

Nal
edi t
ookastepback,andiki
ndafel
tbadfor
t
hrowingthati
nherface.I
t'
snotli
kesheasked
t
ober aped.Butatt
hesamet i
meIwassickof
t
hisbit
chtryi
ngtodestr
oywhatSiyaandIhad
workedsohardfor.

Il
eftNal
edi
standingt
here,
andwalkedwi
tht
he
guardt
owardsthepar
kingl
ot.Iwasgl
adt
hat
t
heguar
ddi
dn'
ti
nter
fere.I
twasaboutt
imefor
t
hegl
ovest
ocomeoff.Andnowtheyhad.

WhenIarri
v edhomeIplacedallt
hegi ft
sunder
thetr
ee.ThenwenttogetOl wet
ho'sroom ready.
OnceIwasdone.Istartedtogetdinnerready.
Siyaandhismom wereduei nanhour .SoI
madesomet hi
ngqui
ck.Andasweal lknowwe
cannevergowr ongwit
hchickencurryandr i
ce.

Isetthetable,
thenwentupst
air
stotakeabath.
Ideci
dedt okil
l2bir
dswithonestone,
andput
Lesediinthebathwit
hme.Thatwaywebot h
gotclean.

Aft
erourbath,
IdressedLesedi
,thenputhei
n
hercotwhi
leIgotready.Despi
teSiy
aandI
bei
ngdivor
ced.Idecidedtowearonofmymaxi
dresses,
andsandals.Idi
dn'
twantt
oseem
disr
espectf
ul.Soni
alsoputonador
k.Justt
o
keepthepeace.

Siyaarr
ivedj
ustasIwasf eedi
ngLesedi
.
Inci
dentevenseeSiy
a.AllIfel
twasOlwetho'
s
armsaroundmef rom behind.

Myhearti
nst
antlywar
med.Ididn'
treal
i
sehow
muchIhadactuall
ymissedOl
wethoupt ot
his
poi
nt

Him:mommyImi
ssedy
ousomuch.Pl
ease
don'
tev
erl
eav
emeagai
n

It
urnedaroundandtri
edmybestnott
ocry.
Si
yaandnohadbeensocaughtupi nour
cr
azinessthatwehadhurtt
heoneper
sonwho
di
dn'tdeserv
etobehurt.
Me:I'
m nevergoi
ngt
oleavy
ou.I
'
m sosor
ryboy
.
Forever
ythi
ng.

Ol
wethoputhisarmsaroundme, andij
ust
br
eathedhi
mi n.Whenhefinal
l
yletgo.He
l
ookedatLesediandsmil
ed.

Hi
m:mommy
.Ist
hisKhany
i
Me:
yes

Ol
wethowal
kedov ert
oLesediwhowassi
tt
ing
i
nherHughchai
r,andhesmiled

Hi
m:shei
ssocut
e 
Me:
justl
i
key
ou
Il
eftOl
wethoandLesedi
,andwentt
ogoGr
eet
MaNdhlov
u.

Ishookherhandinst
eadofhuggi
ngher.I
wasn'texact
lysur
ehowIfel
ttowardsher
.So
thebestwouldbetobeci
vil
,andprayshe
wouldbeoutmyhousesoonerrathert
hanlat
er.

Her
:howar
eyouMakot
i
Me:
I'
m okma.Andy
ou 
Her
:I'
m wel
l
.

Si
yacameov
erandgav
emeaki
ss.

Hi
m:somet
hingsmel
l
samazi
ng 
Me:
Imadecur
ry
Hi
m:can'
twai
t.Butf
ir
stwher
e'smybabygi
rl
.
I
'
vemi
ssedher
Me:
she'
sint
hedi
ningr
oom wi
thOl
wet
ho

Weallwal
kedinandSiyawenttotakeLesedi
.
Whowasnowcov eredonherfood.Hal
fofiton
herandt
heotheronOlwet
ho

Ismil
edwhenIlookedatt
hem.Somuchfor
giv
ingLesedi
abath.Nowthebot
hneededa
bath

Me:IguessIneedt
ogoandgetucl
eanedup
madam. 
MaNdhl
ovu:
no.Don'
twor
ryKot
i.I
'
lldoi
t.

Il
ookedatSiyanervousl
y.Iwasn'
tsureIl
iked
herbei
ngalonewithmydaught er
.Shehadn't
esnacknowledgedherandnowshewant edto
pl
ayt
hedev
otedgr
andmot
her

Si
ya:chaMa.Youshoul
drest
.I'
l
lgett
hem
cl
eanedup
Me:comema, l
etmeshowy outoy
ourr
oom so
youcanf
reshenupf
ordinner.

Il
etSiy
a'smothert
oherroom,
andshowedher
whereever
ythi
ngstay
s.

Me:l
etmel
eaveyouMa.Dinneri
sal
readyr
eady
.
Comedownwhenyou'
rer
eady

Her
:ahm wai
tMakot
i.Weneedt
otal
k
Me:
oh.Ok

Isatont
hbed,
andsheopposi
teme
Her:MakotiI
..
.Idon'tevenknowhowt obegi
n.
Butl
etmef ir
ststar
tbyapol ogizi
ngforwhat
hasbeenhappeningf orthepastcoupleof
moths.Iknowthatthef amil
yhasbeenr at
her
har
dony ouandSi ya.IwishIcould'
vedone
somethi
ng.Butmyhandswer eti
ed.

Me:
it'
sfi
nema.Let
'sj
ustf
orgeti
t

Her;no.
..Si
yabongatol
dmeev er
ythi
ng.Fr
om
howy oustoodbyhim despi
teeveryt
hingt
hat
's
happened.Makoti
.Ij
ustdon'tknowwhattosay

Me: youdon'thavetosayanythi
ng.Ij
ustdon'
t
understandwhyy ouweren'
tther
eforLesedi
.I
don'tcareaboutMe.ButNoone.Notone
personcontactedmeaboutLesedi'sbi
rt
h.No
oneev enoffer
edtocomeandhel p.Iwasalone.
Myauntcamef
oranweek.Butshei
sn'
tyou.
Shei
sn'
tyou

Ididn'
treal
i
sehowmuchthi
shadhurtmeunt
il
thatmoment ,
whenIsawt
earsst
reami
ngdown
myf ace.

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s,andst
oodup.

Me:
(sni
ff
)ma.Let
'sf
orgett
his.I
t'
sint
hepast
 
Her
:Makot
iIam sor
ry.Al
lIcandoi
str
ymake
upf
ori
t.

Shegav emeahug,andiwenttomyr oom.I

di
dn'tknowwhyIwassoemot i
onalaboutthi
s,
butsomehowitreal
l
ydidhurt
.Howcoul dItr
ust
Si
ya'smother
,af
tershebasi
cal
lyabandoned
mewhenIneededhert hemost.Andnowher e
shewasinmyhouse,andi
hadtot
ryand
pret
endt
hatev
eryt
hingwasok.

[
05/
16,
18:
39]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

181

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sandwentdownst
air
stoser
ve
di
nner
.

Siy
ahadcl
eanedt
heki
dsup,soIlayoutdi
nner
,
andmadesomefoodf
orLesedi
.

Wesatdownandhaddinnertogether.The
si
lencewasqui
teannoy
ing.Ti
llSi
ya'smother
spokeup
Her
:(cl
ear
sthr
oat)It
hinkIneedt
owar
nyou
guy
s

Si
yaandIbot
hlookedup

Her
:Youruncl
eishav
ingaf
ami
l
ymeet
ingaf
ter
t
heholi
days
Si
ya:aboutwhat.Ithoughtwehadset
tledt
he
Nal
ediissue,
IleaveforLesot
hoaft
erthe
Hol
idays 
Her
:it'
snotaboutt
heLesot
hodeal
.It
'sabout
Dumisani
 
Hi
m:whatabouthi
m
Her:
SinceDumisanii
snomore.You.Hi
s
br
otherar
eexpectedtot
akeoverhi
shousehol
d

Si
yaburstoutl
aughi
ng,
ast
houghhewer
eata
Tr
evorNoahshow.
Him:Iwi l
ldonosucht
hing.Iknowal
readyt
hat
hewillexpectmetomarrythoset
wo.Andthat
i
sn'thappening

Her:IknowthatSiy
abonga.Butwoul di
tbebad
toasky out
oassistthem f
inanci
all
yandto
checkupont henonceinawhi l
e

Ifi
nishedeati
ng,anddeci
dedtotaket
hekids
upstair
sforthei
rnap.Si
yaandhismothercoul
d
dowhatt heywantto.Iwasn'
tgoi
ngtoenter
tai
n
anyoft hi
s.

Thiswomanhadl it
eral
lyjustarri
v edand
alr
eadyshewast ryi
ngtomar r
ySi yaoffto
thosewoman.Iknowshedoesn' tknowabout
Dumi sani
sabuse.ButIjustfel
tlikeshecould'
ve
atleastwait
edafewday sbeforedroppinga
bombshel
l
.

Lesediandit
uckedi
nOl
wet
ho,
thenIwentand
puthertosl
eep.

Iwentbackdownst
air
stocl
earoutt
het
abl
e,
butf
oundSiyawashi
ngthedi
shes.

Igav
ehi
m ahugf
rom behi
nd

Hi
m:behav
e 
Me:I
'mj
ustgi
vi
ngy
ouahug.I
sthatsuchabad
t
hing
Hi
m:no.ButIneedt
ofi
nishher
e 
Me:
I'
ll
beupst
air
s 
Him:am Iall
owedupst
air
soram Ist
ucki
none
ofthesparebedr
ooms 
Me:
howabouty
oucomeupst
air
sandf
indout
.

Ispankedhi
sbum,andwal
kedupst
air
sbef
ore
Siy
aswethandscoul
dgethol
dofme.

WhenIgotupstai
rs,
Ichangedi
ntomyPy
jamas
andwai
tedforSiy
atocomet obed.

Bytheti
meSi y
awr appeduphi
sdayIwas
dr
if
tingofft
osleep.

Siy
atookashower ,andgotIntobed.Imoved
andcuddlednexthi
m, anddrif
tedofftosl
eep.I
knowhemi ghtwanttotalkaboutwhathis
mom said,butiwasn'
tinthemood. 
Ihadhadaveryl
ongday
,andal
lIneededwas
somesleep.
Iwokeupthef
oll
owingmorni
ngandSiyawasn'
t
i
nbed.Il
ookedatthet
imeanditwasonly6am.

Igotupandf reshenedup, t
henwentt ocheck
onLesedi andf oundherfastasleep.SoIgot
backint
obed, andtri
edtogetatl eastanother
hourofsleep,butasf at
ewoul dhav eitSi
ya
walkedi
nwi t
hat r
ayofbreakfast

Hi
m:mor
ningsunshi
ne 
Me:
mor
ningj
uju
Hi
m:happybi
rt
hday
Me:
thanky
oubaby
.Mer
ryChr
ist
mas 
Hi
m:Imadey
oubr
eakf
asti
nbed
Me:
thanky
ou

Si
yagavemethefood,andLordIi
ndulged.He
madebacon,
eggs,sausages,
mushrooms,
oni
onsandsomet
oast

Me:
babe,
thi
sisgood 
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
ou'
reenj
oyi
ngi
t 
Me:
whatdi
dIdot
odeser
vet
his
Hi
m:y
oudeser
vesomuchmor
e 
Me:
ncoohbaby
.Thanky
ou

AsSiyaandIwerehavi
ngbreakf
ast
,Lesedi
wokeup.Siy
awasabouttogetup,butOlwet
ho
beathi
mt oi
t.Hewalkedi
nholdi
ngLesedi

Theybot
hgi
tont
hebed,
anddugi
ntomyf
ood.

Si
yal
ookedatusandsmi
l
ed

Hi
m:sot
hisi
swhati
tsl
i
ket
ohav
eaf
ami
l
y
Me:
funha?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:let'
sgett
hese2bat
hed,
soIcangost
art
cooking
Hi
m:y
oudon'
thav
etowor
ryaboutt
hat
Me:
whynot
 
Hi
m:i
gotacat
eri
ngcompanyt
odoev
ery
thi
ng 
Me:
baby
.
Hi
m: Iknowy ouwant
edt
ocook,
buti
want
edt
o
dosomet hi
ngspeci
al
Me:
ohok
Hi
m:nowI
'
m goi
ngt
otaket
heki
ds.Your
elax
.

Siy
atookOl
wet
hoandLesedi
andlef
tmet o
i
ndulgei
nsomeal
onet
ime.Whichi
sjustwhati
needed.
Itookani
cebubblebat
h,thenl
ookedat
bemai
l
s,
thenwentonsoci
almedia.

Icoul
dsmellthef
oodf
rom downst
air
s,andi
t
smell
tdel
i
cious.

Byaround11am Istar
tedmi
ssi
ngmybabies,
so
Iwentdownstai
rs,andmywordhadmyhouse
beentransf
ormed.

Ther
ewerepeopl
eev er
ywher
e,cooki
ng.Set
ti
ng
upandwashi
ngdishes.

Il
ookedar
oundandwonder
edwhatSi
yawas
upto.

Iwentout
sidei
nsear
chforthecul
pri
tandi
foundasmallmar
queputup.
If
oundSiy
ainsi
det
het
ent,busygi
vi
ngorder
s.
Hespot
tedmeandsmi
led,
thewalkedov
erto
me

Me:
andnow 
Hi
m:what
 
Me:whatdoy
oumeanwhat
.Whatar
eyou
doi
ng
Hi
m: I
snti
tobv
ious.We'
recel
ebr
ati
ngy
our
bi
rt
hday 
Me:
Siy
a
Him:youshoul
dgogetready
.Yourguest
s
shoul
dbearri
vi
ngsoon
Me:
Siy
a,canwet
alkt
u.I
 
Him:gi
vemeasec.Goupst
air
s.I
'
llbet
her
e
soon,
Heki
ssedmycheek,
andwentbackt
owhathe
wasdoi
ng.

Iwentupst ai
rsandstart
edget ti
ngready
.I
deci
dedt ogowi thasmar tcasuall
ook.Iwore
j
eans,hill
s,ashimmeringtop, wi
thaformal
j
acketont op.Iwasn'
texact l
ysurewhatSiya
hadplanned,sooncenogotr eady,
Icall
edhim
upst
airs.Hehadsomeexpl aini
ngtodo

Hecameupst
air
sandgav
emeasmi
l
e

Hi
m:y
oul
ookni
ce
Me:
Siy
a.Whatar
eyoudoi
ng 
Hi
m:wear
ecel
ebr
ati
ngy
ourbi
rt
hday
 
Me:
but
 
Hi
m:nobut
s.
Si
yachangedint
osomethi
ngmor
ecomf
ort
abl
e,
whi
leIj
ustconti
nued 
Tost
areathi
minwonder

Hi
m:seeany
thi
ngy
oul
i
ke?
Me:
notr
ightnow
Hi
m:stoppout
ing.Andl
et'
srat
hergocel
ebr
ate
wi
thyourf
ri
ends 
Me:
whatf
ri
ends

Hi
m:come.

Si
yatookmyhandandwewal
keddownstai
rs.
Tomyamazementther
ewer
etonsofcar
s
par
kedout
side.
 
Weenteredt
hetentanditwaspacked.Il
ooked
ar
oundandsawmyf r
iends,
Thandeka,Nwabi
sa,
Cl
eo.Ifr
oze,
anddidntknowwhatt odo.
Me:
Siy
a
Hi
m:t
hisi
syourday
.Wear
egoi
ngt
oenj
oyi
t

Hewi
pedawayat
inyt
eart
hathadescaped.

Him: Ihav
ebeenthecauseofy
ou'
ret
earsf
or
solong.Foronce,
Iwantedt
obether
easonyou
smile.

Wemov edinandi wentandgreet

edmygir
ls.I
hadn'
tseenthem f
orsolong,andseei
ngt
hem
now,onl
ymademeseehowmuchIhadmi ssed
them.

Il
eftt
hem andwentt
ogr
eett
her
estofour
guest
s.
Iwashonestl
ysti
ll
soshocked.HowhadSiya
pul
ledt
histoget
herwi
thoutmeev ennot
ici
ng.

Idonknowwhatmademelookt
otheent
rance.
ButwhenIl
ooked,
IsawHl
okeswal
kingi
nwith
Boni
swa.

Itookadeepbr
eat
h,andcar
ri
edonwi
thmy
conver
sati
onwi
thNail
s.

Idi
dn'tknowtheki
ndofmoodshewasi n,and
wuit
ef r
ankl
yIwasstil
lhur
tthatshecould
thr
owWayourf ri
endshi
pbecauseofwhatSi y
a
sai
d.

Hl
okescamecl
oserandsodi
dBoni
.Thecl
oser
t
heygot
.Themoreanxi
ousIgot
.
Whentheyfi
nal
lygi
ttous,
theybot
hgr
eet
ed,
andIgr
eetedback.

Her
:Fi
ficanwet
alk 
Me:
ahmm ok

Wemov
edout
sideandshest
oodnextt
ome

Her
:happybi
rt
hday
Me:
Thanky
ou 
Her
:Iwantedtoapol
ogi
zetoyou.IknowthatI
messedup.Buti
tcameasasurprisetof
indout
t
hatyouandhim wer
eonceanitem.Letalone
marr
ied
Me:
Boni
.It
'
snotwhaty
out
hink
Her
:Iknow.Hl
okesexpl
ainedev
ery
thi
ng.
 
Me:
sowe'
recool
 
Her
:yep
Me;
phewt
hanky
ou.I
'
vemi
ssedy
ou
Her
:I'
vemi
ssedy
out
oo

IgaveBoni
ahugandt
herestofmygi
rl
scame
tojoi
nusandwehadagr
ouphug. 
Ihadn'tr
eal
l
yreali
sedhowmuchImi ssedmy
gir
ls.Iwasj
usthappythatf
inal
l
y,t
heywere
backinmylif
e.
[
05/
16,
18:
42]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

182

Ispentther estofmybi r
thday
/ Chr
ist
maswith
thepeopl eIlove.Siyahadpulledoutall
the
stops.From thel unch,DJ,Dri
nks,andmy
favouri
ter edvelvetcake.Whatmor ecoulda
girl
askf or.
Towardst
heendoftheday,
Siyaaskedmet o
gotothefr
ont
,hewantedustoboththankour
guest
sforbei
ngther
e.

Hi
m:hi
.CanIhav
eyourat
tent
ion,
please.

Ev
ery
onest
oppedchat
ti
ngandconcent
rat
edon
hi
m.

Him:Iwoul
dli
kethatyouallforcomingtoday
tocel
ebr
ateMyWi fe'
sbir
thday.IKnowtodayis
adayusual
lyr
eservedforfamil
y,butyouall
cameoutandwer eal
ly,
reall
yappreci
ateit
.

Si
yal
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed

Hi
m:I
'
dal
sol
i
ket
othankmywi
fe,
fornotki
l
li
ng
me, i
nthe3y
earsthatwe'vebeentoget
her
.
Thiswomanhashonestlystoodwi
thmei n
ti
meswhereIneverthoughtshewould.
 
ShehaslovedmewhenIdi
dn'tdeservei
t.I
'
ve
pushedheraway100t
imesandy etshecame
back101ti
mes. 
BabyIj
ustwantt
othankyouforevert
hing.You
tr
ulyar
ether
easonIhaveapurposeinl
ife.

Il
ookedatSi
yaandtr
iedhott
ocry.Si
yai
sn'
t
exact
lyt
hemostromanti
cguyint
heworl
d.But
heari
nghi
m speakmademeweakattheknees.

Igav
ehim ahugandhewhisper
ed"
for
ever
"in
myears,
thenwebrokeapar
t

Hi
m:nowthatthat
'souttheway
.Itwoul
dn'
tbe
abi
rt
hdaywit
houtagift
.
Si
yatookoutavel
vetboxoutofhi
shandand
gotdownononeknee?

Him:Ri
fi
loeNdhl
ovu.MamaKaKhany ino
Olwet
ho.Wouldyoudomet hehonour
sofonce
agai
n,makingmethehappiestmani
ntheworl
d
bymarry
ingmealloveragai
n.

Ismil
eddownatthi
scr
azy,handsonmanin
fr
ontofme,andi
knewthatnomat t
erwhat
.
Thiswast
hemanIwasmeantt obewith

Me:
ofcour
seI
'
llmar
ryy
ou.Agai
n

Igav
eSiyamylefthandandheslippedonyet
anot
herbeaut
if
ulplat
inum r
ingonmyf i
nger
.
Hest
oodupandthi
sti
megav emeki
ss,
that
mademebl
ushli
keneverbef
ore.

Wewal kedbacktoourtableandt heDJt ook

over.Ev er
ybodycongratul
atedme, andkept
l
ookingatt heri
ng.Itfel
tkindofwei r
dsay i
ng
wewer erenewingourvows, wheninfactwe
werer eall
ygett
ingmar r
iedforThesecondt ime
round.

Ther estofthepar tywasamazi ng.Ourlast

guestsleftwayaf termidnight.Byt hem myf eet
wereki l
li
ngme, andihadov erdonei tabitwit
h
thechampagne.Butal li
nal li
thadbeent heset
bir
thdayev er.Ihadmygi rlsbacki nmyl if
e.Siya
andIwer ef i
nall
yont herighttrack, andbestof
all
.OlwethoandLesedi wer enowunderone
roof.Wewer efi
nallyafami l
y.Andnot hi
ng
couldtaket hatawayf r
om us.
*
***
***
***Si
ya*
***
***
***
*

SeeingRi fi
loesmi li
ngandl aughi ngmademeso
happy .Iusedt ohat ethei deaofseei ngherwi t
h
fri
ends, orev enfamily.Ialway swant edt o
control whoshesaw, all
becauseIf earedI
woul dl oseher .Ifearedt hatonedayshewoul d
discov ermysecr etandt hi nkthatIwasn' tgood
enoughf orher,orthatsomeone.May beoneof
herf r
iendswoul dseet hesi gnsandwoul d
exposemysecr et.Andy ether ewear etoday
andt her ear enomor esecr et
s.Sheknows
everythi ngthereist oknowaboutme.She
knowshowt ohandl emymoods, andwhent o
backdown.Shehonest lyisper fectf orme, and
that.Thatmademet helucki estbast ardint he
wor l
d.

Waki
ngupt
hefol
lowingmor
ningaf
tersl
eepi
ng
i
nwasamazi
ng.Rif
il
oewasl
yingi
nmyar ms
nakedandhadagl
owt
ohert
hatIhadn'
tseen
i
nal ongt
ime.

Ididn'twanttowakeher
,soIdi
dn'
tmove.
Instead,Idr
if
tedbackt
osleepwi
thmygir
l
l
ightlysnori
nginmyarms.

WhenIf i
nall
ywokeupagain,
Rif
il
oewasn'
ti
n
bed.Iheretheshowergoi
ng,
soIknewshewas
i
nt her
e.Igotoutofbedandwentt
ojoi
nher.

Me:
mor
ning
Her
:mor
ningbaby
Me:
whydi
ďnty
ouwakeme 
Her
:youl
ookedsopeaceful
.IthoughtIwould
l
etyousl
eepi
n.Youdon'tgetenoughrestasit
i
s
Me:
wel
l
.Iagr
eewi
thy
ouont
hatone.
 
Her
:tur
nar
oundandl
etmewashy
ourback
Me:
nomam.Iki
ndofl
i
ket
hev
iew
Her
:real
l
y
Me:
cer
tai
nly
 
Her:
inthatcasewhydon'
tyoucomecl
oser
,
andexplor
ewhatiti
sthaty
ouli
ke 
Me:
I'
dbehappyt
o.

Isteppedcloser
,compl
iedtother
equestat
hand.It'
snotli
keIcoul
dresi
stherany
way .
 
Justaswewer
emaki
ngout
.Ihear
daknockon
thedoor
.

Her
:whot
hehel
lcoul
dthatbe
Me:
nocl
ue

Theper
sonknockedagai
n,t
hist
imeshout
ing
f
ormet
ocomeout
.

Her
:soundsl
i
kei
tsHl
okes 
Me:yaah,somet
hingmustbewr
ongf
orhi
mto
comehere. 
Her:I
'
lldeal
wit
hitwhi
l
eyouf
ini
shof
f
showeri
ng
Me:
thanky
oubaby

Shegavemeakiss,
thensteppedoutt
he
shower
,andwar
pedhersel
fupwithatowel
.

Iqui
cklyfi
nishedof
fshoweri
ng,andfoll
owed
sui
t.Ihadn'
texpect
edHlokesheretoday,so
whateverboughthi
m her
ewasser i
ous

Iwal
kedint
otheroom,
andchanged,
thenwent
downst
air
stofi
ndoutwhatwassourgentt
hat
hecoul
dn'
twai
tforMet
oshower

IfoundHlokesandNai l
sinthel
oungewaiti
ng
forme.Judgingbyt hel
ookonthei
rfacesit
wasobvious,thatsomethi
ngwasterri
blywrong

Me:
fel
l
as 
Them:
boss
Me:
what
'
sisi
t
Hl
okes:
youhav
en'
tseent
henews
Me:
no
Nai
l
s:y
ou'
rephonesar
ebot
hof
f 
Me:yes.Weswitchedt
hem of
flastni
ght
.What
i
sit
.IsitLesedi
? 
Hlokes:no.They
'r
eal
lfi
ne.Theyar
esti
llatmy
placewithyourmom.I
'v
ejusthadtodoubleup
securi
ty 
Me:
wil
loneofy
ouspi
toutwhati
shappeni
ng

Hl
okeshandedmeanI
Pad,
andnor
eadt
he
l
atestnews

Hi
m:I
tsNal
edi
.She'
scommi
tt
edsui
cide
Me:
shi
twhen?
Him: l
astnight
.Somehowav ideoofy ou
proposingtoRifi
l
oemadei tonline.Shemust'
ve
seenit,sosherecordedav i
deot el
li
ngtheworl
d
awhol elotofshi
t.Thentaki
ngpi ll
sandendi
ng
herli
fe
Me:
wher
e'st
hev
ideo 
Nai
l
s:I
'
vesav
edi
tont
her
e 
Me:
fuck
Hl
okes:
itget
swor
se
Me:
whatcoul
dbewor
se
Hlokes:inthev i
deoshespeaksabouthowy ou
hurther,andplayedwit
hherf eel
i
ngs.How
Rif
il
oeat tackedandharassedher,andhow
Dumi sanirapedher,
andy oucoveredit
.
Me:
thati
sbul
lshi
t
Hlokes:weknowt hat.Butthepresi
dentof
Lesothodoesn'
t.Thiscouldleadtowarawar
Ghost. 
Me: yaah.Ok.Gett hesecur
it
yaty ourplacet
o
getev eryoneatyourplacet
ot heair
port.Nai
l
s.
PhoneChar lesandhavehim gett
hepl ane
readyf orCuba.Makesur et
heguy sinCubaar e
readyf orthem.IwantThem andRi fi
l
oeoutthe
countryasap.  
Nai
l
s:shoBoss
Me:
andmakesureHQi
sready
.I'
l
lmeety
ou
t
her
einanhour

Ir
ushedupst
air
stoRi
fi
loe.IneededherOutof
S.A.asinyester
day
.ThismadnessthatNaol
edi
start
edwoul dmeanRif
il
oesl
if
ewasi ndanger
,
especial
l
ysinceNaledi
spokeaboutheri
nher
suici
devideo.

Igottoourroom andf
oundRi
fi
loe,
inhercl
oset
doingherhair

Me:
ther
eyouar
e
Her
:what
'swr
ongbaby
Me:
Ineedy
out
olookatme 
Her
:baby
,I'
m doi
ngmyhai
r.Gi
vemeami
nut
e

Igentl
ytot
hebrushinherhand,
andswi
ngher
aroundsoshecanfaceme.

Her
:Si
yamaan.Letmef
ini
sh
Me:
Rifi
l
oe.Ineedy
out
oli
stent
ome.Thi
sis
i
mport
ant.

Rif
il
oelookedupatme,andi
nthatmoment
,
sheknewIwasn'tpl
ayi
ng

He:
whati
sit
Me:ther
e'snot
imet
oexpl
ain.Ineedt
ogety
ou
outofher
easap 
Her
:wher
eisLesedi
Me:
Ont
hewayt
otheai
rpor
t
Her
:what
?Why
Me:baby
,asIsai
d.Icannotexpl
ain.Weneedt
o
go.NOW

IgrabbedHerhand,andt
ookherphoneoffthe
bed.KnowingRifi
l
oeshewouldwanttotal
k
aboutthi
s,butr
ightnowtal
ki
ngwasn'tan
opt
ion.Ineededheroutofhere,
and
somewher esaf
e.ThatwastheonlywayIwas
goi
ngtobeabl etothi
nkproperl
y.

Wegottothegarage,andBul
l
ethadconv
oy
wai
ti
ngforus.That'
swhenIknewIhadtr
ained
myteam wel
l.

Wegoti nthecar ,
andmyphonei mmedi atel
y
rang.Idi
dn'tbotheransweringit,
inst
ead,I
concentr
atedonRi fil
oe.Icouldseeshewas
panicki
ng,andthis30mi ndr i
vetotheairpor
t
wast heonlyti
mei hadtotalktoher.

Me:
Baby
Her
:mhmm 
Me:I'
m sor
ryaboutal
loft
his.I
'
m sur
eyou'
re
wonderi
ngwhathappened
Her
:it
'sfi
neSiy
a.It
rusty
ou.Iknowyou
woul
dn'tbet
akingmeoutofS.A.f
ornot
hing

Forthefi
rstti
mei nourrel
ati
onshi
p,IFeltli
kea
man.Shedi dn'
targue,ormakeafuss.Instead
sheunderstood,andthatgavemethecour age
toneededtodeal Withthi
smessthatNal edi
creat
ed

Me:
thanky
ouf
ort
rust
ingme
Her
:nowt
ell
mewhat
'
sgoi
ngon
Me:
Nal
edi
commi
tt
edsui
ci
del
astni
ght
 
Her
:oh
Me:shedi
ditl
i
veonsomesoci
almedi
at hi
ng.
Tomakeitwor
seshebl
amedyouandIforit
Her
:what
?Whyt
hehel
lwoul
dshedot
hat
Him;I'
m notsure.Ihav
en'
tseenthev
ideoy
et.
I
'l
lannuali
zeitwhenIgett
ot heHQ
Her
:ok,
buti
sti
l
ldon'
tseewhyweneedt
ogo
Me:ifthi
sv i
deoi sasbadast heysay,thenthat
meanswehav et hewholeofS.A.andLesotho
outforourblood.Ican'thaveyouhere.Ineed
toknowt hatyouar esafe.That
'st
heonl ywayI
candealwi t
hthis 
Her
:soy
ou'
renotcomi
ng 
Me:
nobaby
.Ineedt
ost
ay 
Her
:forhowl
ong
Me:
noi
dea
Her
:Idon'
tl
iket
hisSi
ya 
Me: nei
therdoI .Butbabyt hisisbig.Nalediisa
pri
ncess.Shehasconnect i
onswi t
hpeopl ewe
don'tevenknowof .Accordingt ot
hewor l
dwe
aretheenemi es.I'
vegott hepr esi
dentcalli
ng
overandov eragain.Thepr esidentofLesot ho
i
sonhi sway .Thiscouldl eadtoawar ,
andt he
l
astt hi
ngIwanti sf oryoutobeany wherenear
here,whenthathappens 
Her
:ok.
 
Me:Il
oveyouRi
fil
oe.Thi
sisj
ustanotherhur
dle
i
nourway.Butt
hatdoesn'
tchangethefactt
hat
Il
oveyou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.

sheputherheadonmyshoul der,
andi ki
ssed
herforehead.Iknewi twasgoingtobeawhi le
ti
ll
Icoulddot hi
sagain.SoIheldheronelast
ti
me, beforeIwouldhav et
obecomeghost .I
hadhonest lyenjoy
edbeingnormal f
orthepast
coupleofmot hs.Butinmyki ndofworld,Ghost
doesn'tstayhiddenfortolong.
[
05/
16,
18:
43]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

183

(
cropt
op)
(Iapol
ogize.i
tsmyseconddaybackatwor
k
anditsharderthani
thought
.)

Wear ri
vedattheairpor
tandmyst omach
dropped.Real
ityfi
nall
ykickedi
n.Siy
awas
goingtostayhere,andprobabl
yfi
ghtlikehel
l
,
whileIl
ivedonabeachhouse.Icoul dn’t
actual
lydothat.

Me;
Siy
aIcantdot
his 
Hi
m;What
 
Me;Idon’
twantt
oleav
eyouher
e.Whati
f.What
i
fsomethi
nghappenst
oyou?
 
Hi
m;Baby
 
Me;HaaSiy
a.I
m notgoi
ngt
oCuba.Not
wi
thouty
ou 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.I
llbef
ine.I
llhandl
ethi
s.Forus 
Me;
(sni
ff
) 
Hi
m;Don’
t.Nocr
ying
Me;Ican’
tlosey
ouSiya.Notaf
terev
ery
thi
ng
t
hatwe’vebeenthr
ough
Hi
m;y
ou’
renotgoi
ngt
oloseme.
 
Me;
howdoy
ouknow?
 
Hi
m;t
hesi
tuat
ioni
sn’
tasbadasi
tseems
Me; t
henwhyarey oushippi
ngusofft
oCuba.
Siy
aIknowy ou.I
f.You’r
esendingmeawayit
’s
becausesomethi
ngcouldgowr ong 
Hi
m;(si
gh)Ineedy
ouont
hispl
aneRi
fi
loe.
Now 
Me;
Si

Siy
abangedthehi
sfi
stagai
nstt
hecar
,andmy
heartbr
oke
Him: y
oudon’ tgetitdoy ou?Icanhandle
anythi
ngandev eryt
hing,aslongasIknowt hat
youaresaf e.Myonl yfearinthoseworldis
l
osingy ou.Nothingelsecandef eatme.But
l
osingy ou.Thatwoul dripmeapar t.Whichi
s
whyIwon’ tlosey ou

IlookedatSiyaandsawt hatherefl
ectedmy
greatestf
ear.Iwasafr
aidlosingofhim,andin
turnherehewast el
l
ingme, toleav
ehimi nthe
pitofhell
. 
Isawhim wipeawayatearf
rom hi
sey
es.And
thensawhiseyestur
nred

Hi
m;getont
hepl
ane 
Me;
Si 
Him;Now.Getonthedamnpl
ane,
orel
seIwi
l
l
carr
yyouonmy sel
f 
Me;
Youwoul
dn’
t
Hemov
edcl
oserandIt
ookast
epback 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
baby
 
Hi
m;Now

Il
ookedupatSi y
aandIknewtherewasnouse
arguing.Si
yawasonamissi
on,andIhadno
choiceinthematt
er

Het ookastept owardsmeandt hi

st i
meIdidn’
t
stepback.Instead,Icl
osedtheti
nygap
betweenus, andwr appedmyarmsar oundhi
m.
Atfirsthedidn’
trespond,butev
entual
lyheput
downhi swal l
s,andheheldmei nhisarms.

Him;Your
eal
l
yneedt
ogetont
hatpl
anenow
babe 
Me;Iknow.Justgi
vemet
womor
emi
nut
es.I
wantakissfi
rst
 
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)y
ouar
eonest
ubbor
nwoman
Me;
kissme

Il
etgoofhim.Andst oodonmyt i
ptoestoki ss
putmyli
psonhi s.I
tbuggedmesobadl yt hat
j
ustyest
erday ,
wehadcel ebr
atedmybi rt
hday ,
andgott
enr eengaged.Andnow24hr slaterI
wasonapl anet oCuba,leavi
ngmymant of i
ght
agai
nstGodKnowswhat .

Igotonthepl
aneandSi
yaaccompani
edme,
so
hecouldgi
veOlwet
hoandLesedi
akiss.
 
Thejettookof f
,andthankf
ull
yBot hLesediand
Olwethofellasl
eep.Thiswasgoingtobet he
l
ongestf l
i
ghtev er
.BecauseallIcoul
dthink
aboutwast hatmyf amil
yonthisplanewas
i
ncompl ete.
*
***
***
***
*Si
ya*
***
***
***
***
***
***

Seeingtheplanet akeof
fwit
hmyfamil
yon, f
elt
l
ikeawei ghtli
ftedoffmyshoul
der
.Nowt hat
Rif
il
oewassaf e.I
twastimeformetodealwit
h
theissueathand. 
Igotbackinthecar,
anddr ov
et oHQ.Ineeded
nowmor ethanevertoletgoofmyf eeli
ngs.
Thiswholeissuewasmuchbi ggert
hanj ust
Rif
il
oeandI.Thiswasnowaboutdeal ingwith
whateverat
tackscomingtowardsme.  
Arr
ivi
ngatHQ,If
oundmyoff
icehect
icashel
l
.
Therewer
eagentsev
ery
where.
 
Iwal
kedintothemainoff
ice,andf
oundnai
l
s
andHlokesgoingt
hroughinf
ormati
onon
Nal
edi.
 
Itossedthememor
yst
ickRif
il
oegav
emet o
nail
s,thencal
l
edmyst
afft
othemainroom.
Me;Nail
s.Putupt
hevideo.Ineedt
oassessi
t.I
wantt
oknowwhof oundit.Iwantt
oknow
ev
eryt
hing 
Hi
m;Sho 
Me;Hl
okes.Iwantapostmor
tem.Iwanty
out
o
makesur
eit’
sherbody100% 
Hi
m;ok
Me;okever
ybodyli
stenup.Thisiswhaty ou
havebeent
rai
nedtodo.Thisisacoder ed.I
wantyoual
lonhighaler
t.I
fthereisathreat
agai
nstusorourcountr
y.Ineedtoknowabout
i
t 
Me;
Nai
ls.Whatti
mei
sthemeet
ingbet
ween
t
he2pr
esident
s? 
Hi
m;i
nanhour
 
Me;
wher
e 
Hi
m;mai
nhal
l
 
Me;
getmecl
ear
ance
Hi
m;Butboss
Me;nobuts.Ineedtogett
oNal edi’
sfat
her.
Therewasnowayshewasr unningadrugring
wit
houthi
m knowing.Hehast obeinont hi
s,
andIwantalink 
Hi
m;okboss
Me;
Hlokes,
comewi
thme.We’
regoi
ngdownt
o
mai
nHall

Iwentdowntothemainhal
landjustasIgot
ther
e,Nai
lshadgot
tenusapprov
al. 
Unf
ort
unatel
ythemeet
inghadst
art
ed,
butI
wal
kedinanyway.
 
Ther
ewasnowayIwasn’tgoi
ngt
oletthi
s
meeti
nggoaheadwi
thoutmebei
ngthere

Me;
I’
m sor
ryt
oint
err
uptMrPr
esi
dent
.ButI
beli
evei
tsbestyounotl
i
stent
oany
thi
ngel
se
thatheneedstosay
 
Hi
m; I
tsf
unnyyou’
dsaythat
.Wewer
ejust
t
alki
ngaboutt
hispr
edi
cament

Nal
edi
’
sfat
herst
oodupandl
ookedatus

Naledi
’
sDad; y
oucallt
hisapredi
cament?My
daughteri
sdead.Al
lbecauseofyouandthat
sl
utthatyoucall
awife

Me;Si
r.Iam goi
ngtoasky out
oref
rainfr
om
i
nsul
ti
ngmywi f
e.Especi
all
ysi
nceweboth
knowtherei
smor etothi
sthanmeetstheey
e

Il
ookedhim str
aighti
ntheey e.Iwantedhi
mto
knowthatIknow.Thatthiswholethingwas
muchbiggerthanNaledikil
l
ingherself
 
Hi
m;Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
 
Me;Yesy oudo.NowIam goingtogiv
ey oua
choi
ce.Youareeithergoi
ngtotel
lusevery
thi
ng
orIwil
lhavetodragitoutofy
ou 
Hi
m;Ibegy
ourpar
don 
Me;
youhear
dme

Imovedcl
osert
ohim,andIknewthent
hatI
hadhi
mr i
ghtwher
eIwantedhim.
 
Me;nowt hatIhaveat
tent
ion.Thi
siswhaty
ou
aregoi
ngt odo.Youaregoingtosi
gnovert
he
dealweinit
ial
lycametoagreeto.
 
Hi
m;y
oumustbeoutofy
ourmi
nd 
Me; i
fyoudon’t,Iwil
lmakesur et hatItel
lthe
worldofwhaty oudid.Notonlywi llt
hatmean
thatyourcount
rywi l
lsuf
ferfinancially
.Butt hat
willmeanthatyouwi l
ll
osey oursocal l
ed
positi
onaskind/Presi
dent.Ballsiny ourcour t
.
Youhav e24hour stohavethesi gnedcont ract
tome.Aft
erthatIwil
lnotguar
ant
eey
oursaf
ety
,
ort
hatofyourfamil
y.

Il
ookedatmyv
eryownpr
esi
dentandhesmi
l
ed.

Il
ef tthem ther
eandknewt hatIhadjustbought
my selfsomet i
me.Naledi’
sfatherwouldbe
fi
ndi ngwayst otr
ytakemeout .Whil
eIf i
gured
way st omakesureher unsbacktohislit
tl
e
count ryandbehaves.
[
05/
16,
18:
44]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

184

(
sor
ryguy
s)

Ar
ri
vi
nginCubawasbitt
ersweet.Butasalways
Si
yahadev
eryt
hingpr
epared.Theguardsand
thehousestaffwerer
eadyonourarr
ival
.Ther
e
wasev er
ythi
ngwecouldeverneed,
from
clot
hes,t
odiapersandfor
mula.Toeven
Olwetho’
sfavouri
tePS4games.

Ismi l
edandsomehowr el
axedabi t
.IfSiy
a
couldgetal loft
hisdoneinamat t
erofhours,
hecoul dobv i
ouslydealwit
ht hesi
tuati
onat
hand.Ijusthopedi twouldhappensooner
ratherthanlater
.Ihadspentaf ewhour saway
from him andalreadyIf
eltincomplete.
 
IshowedMaNdhl ovuandBonit
othei
rrooms,
thentookmychildr
enandwenttobath.I
twas
now7: 00am i
nthemorni
ng,andwehadslept
mostoft hewayhere,
soallwecoul
ddowas
freshenup.

Afterbathi
ng.Itookt heki
ds,
tohavesomet
hing
toeat.Asalway stherewasfoodalr
eady
prepared.SoIjustdishedupfort
hem. 
IgaveOlwethohisfood,t
henf edLesedi
,who
ontheotherhandwasbei ngahandf ul
.She
ref
usedtoeat,andjustst
artedcryi
ngand
thr
owingthebiggesttant
rum ali
ve.
 
MaNdhl
ovuwal
keddownandshel
ookedatme
andsmi
led

Her
;needahand?
Me;
PleaseMa

ShetookLesedi,
andIwalkedbacktomyroom
tot
akey etanot
hershower.Ihadf
oodal
lover
me.Eveninmyhai r
. 
Aft
ermyshower ,
Igotdressed,andwent
downstai
rs,
andfoundLesedi dr
inki
ngher
bot
tle,
inhergr
andmother’
sar ms.

Me;
Thanky
ouMa
Her;sher
emindsmealotofSi
yabonga.He
usedtobejustasf
ussy
,whenhisfat
herwasn’
t
around
Me;Yaah.Shedoeski
ndofgetf
ussywhenSi
ya
i
sn’
taround 
Her
;howwasy
ourbi
rt
hday
 
Me;
itwasreal
lyni
ceMa.I’m sor
rywedi
dn’
tget
t
ospentChri
stmastoget
her 
Her
;Itwasapl
easur
e.Ienj
oyedspendi
ng
Chr
istmaswi
thmyGrandbabies 
Me;
CanIgety
ousomet
hingt
oeat
?
Her
;Pl
ease.
 
Me;
Chi
ckenanddumbl
i
ng?
 
Her
;yespl
ease

Iwenttotheki
tchen,andIdi
shedupf orher
,
thenwenttoputLesedii
nhercot,
while
Olwet
hoandIgopl ayonthebeach. 
Hewassoex ci
tedanditjustmademer eal
i
se
howImi ssedhim.Imadeav owtomy selft
o
neverl
ethim goagai n.I
twasn’tf
airthatwhen
thi
ngsgott oughweshi ppedhim of
f
somewher e. 
Bonilat
ercametojoi
nusandweal
ljustpl
ayed
socceronthebeach,
whi
leMaNdhl
ovutooka
nap.

Aft
erOlwethowast i
red,wewentbackinside,
andIwentupstai
rstot r
yandphoneSiya.I
di
dn’tt
hinkhewouldanswer,butIguessitwas
oneofmyl uckdaysbecauseheanswered.

Hi
m;MaNdhl
ovu 
Me;
Hey
 
Hi
m;howwasy
ourf
li
ght
?
Me;
Fine.
Him;Iwoul
d’v
ephonedyouear
li
er,
butIt
hought
youwouldberest
ing 
Me;Iwi
sh.Jetl
aghaski
ckedi
nandi
tisn’
t
pl
ayi
ng
Hi
m;howar
emychi
l
dren 
Me;thei
rfi
ne.Lesedi
isnappingwithyour
mother,
andOlwethoiswatchingTVaf t
erwe
spentmostoftheaft
ernoonont hebeach 
Hi
m;LuckyYou 
Me;
comehome 
Hi
m;Home?
 
Me;
yes.Thi
sisst
il
lourHomei
sn’
tit
? 
Hi
m;Yes.I
tis 
Me;
socomehome 
Him;Ican’
t,
sti
l
lgotaf
ewmor
ethi
ngst
osor
t
out 
Me;
sowhendoy
out
hinkt
hingwi
l
lbedone
Hi
m;i
naf
ewweeks 
Me;
thatl
ong 
Hi
m;Ihopenot.ButIal
sodon’
twantt
omake
pr
omisest
hatIcannotkeep
Me;
ok 
Hi
m; Ishoul
dgo.Ineedt
odoadebr
ief
ingwi
th
t
heteam 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;Il
ovey
ou 
Me;
Ilov
eyou 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.I
’
m ser
ious.Ir
eal
l
ydol
ovey
ou.
 
Me;
thanky
oubaby
.Il
ovey
out
oo 
Hi
m; enought
ospendt
her
estofy
ourl
i
fedoi
ng
t
his?
Me;
Yes.
 
Hi
m;Thanky
ou 
Me;
il
lspeakt
oyoul
ater
 
Hi
m;k

IendedourcallandthoughtaboutwhatSiya
hadsai d.Idol
ovehim.Ireal
lydo.Butthi
s
tr
avell
ingbackandforth.Theguns,the
uncertaint
ywastough.CouldIreal
lybethi
s
wifethatheexpect
s? 
Isi
ghedandpr ayedtoGodthatIcouldbe.
Becauseintr
uththiswastir
ing,al
loft
hiswas
ti
ri
ng.Ij
ustwishedSi y
acouldbenormal,butI
sureashell
wasn’ tgoi
ngtotell
himthat.

Wehadbeenher
ebefor
e,andIwasn’
tgoi
ngt
o
bet
heonetobri
ngi
tup.

Ijustpray
edt hatwi
thti
mehewoul dl
etgoof
thissuperherothi
ng,andjustbethehusband
andf at
herthatourfamil
ydeserves
[
05/
16,
18:
45]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
185

SpeakingtoRif
il
oeputmeof fmyguar dabit
.I
couldsenseshewasn'tok.Ijustwondered
whatwasbot heri
ngher.Ijusthopedheranmy
mot herwoul
dgetalong.Thel astt
hingIneedis
thosetwobit
ingeachot herheadsoff.

Asmuchasi would'
velov
edconcent
rat
eonon
them Ihadnotime.Ihadtomeatwit
hmyteam
togiv
et hem adebri
ef.

Me:Okev
ery
onegat
herar
ound.Ineedan
updat
e

Me:
Nai
l
s.Whatdoy
ouhav
eforme
Him:
youwon'tbel
i
evet
hisboss.Thi
swhol
e
r
ingi
sconnectedt
oFer
nandez

Me:
noway
s

Hi
m:r
eal
l
yBoss.I
tal
lmakessense.Her
e

Hegav
emef ol
derwhichindeedprov
edt hat
Nal
edi
,HerDadwereconnectedtoFernandez.

Thiscouldonl
ymeantr
oubl
e.t
helastt
hingI
needistospeakt
oJessi
ca.Ri
fi
loewoul
dgo
bal
list
ic.

Me:ineedyout
odoani nt
err
ogat
iononJessi
ca.
Iwanttoknowever
ythi
ng
Hi
m:Shoboss

Me:
Bul
l
et.Di
dyouseet
hebody

Hi
m:y
es.I
tlookedl
i
keher

Me:
good

Hehandedmeanaut
opsyr
epor
t

Iwentt
hroughi
tandwasconv
incedshewas
real
l
ydead.

Iwasactuall
yquit
egl ad.Atleastshebeatme
toi
t.Becausethewayt hingswer elooki
ng,
i
would'
vehadt oki
llhermy self
Me:Nai
ls.Iwanty
out
otrackNal
edi
'
sfat
her
.I
wantt
oknowev er
ymovehemakes

Hi
m:y
esboss

Me: onemorething.Ineedyout
ohacki
nto
JessicaandNaledi'
sbanking

Hi
m:ok

Me:l
etmeknowi
fyouf
indany
thi
ng.Ineedt
o
gosomewher
e

Il
eftt heoff
iceandheadeddowntowntot
he
Presidentsoffi
ces.Ineededt
ogetdownt
othe
bottom ofthis.
Iarr
ivedandlucki
l
ythepr
esi
dentwasavail
abl
e.
Hissecret
aryledmetohi
m andicl
osedthe
door

Hi
m:t
hiswasunexpect
ed
Me:
Sor
ryt
odi
stur
byousi
r
Hi
m:HowcanIhel
pyou
Me:
Ihav
ecomet
odi
scussmyj
ob 
Hi
m:you'v
edonewell
sofar
.Ifwegetthi
sdeal
wi
thLesothowewi
l
lgodowni nHi
stor
y
Me:
Iknow.
 
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tseem t
obev
eryexci
ted
Me:
Isi
r.
..i
tsj
ustt
hat
Hi
m: Youwil
lbeoneoft
hemostr
espect
edOps
l
eaderal
iv
e 
Me:yes.ButsirIcameher
etospeakt
oyou
aboutmyresignati
on
Thepr
esi
dentl
ookedatmeast
houghi
hadl
ost
mymind

Hi
m:Thi
swoul
dbet
hewor
stt
imet
oresi
gn

Me:iknow.Butt
hisi
sn'
tformeany
mor
e.Iwant
t
olookaftermyfami
ly.

Hi
m:(
Sigh)Thi
sisashock

Me: I
'm sor
rySir
.Butit
hinki
tsbest
.It
st i
meI
start
edbeingthehusbandandfat
herthatis
requir
ed

Him:that
'sveryhonor
abl
eofy
ou.Butwhat
aboutyou'
reteam
Me:
Bul
l
eti
smor
ethancapabl
e.

Hi
m:iknow.Buthehasn'
tbeeni
nthef
orceas
l
ongasyouhave

Me:yes.Buti
knowhewi
l
lbej
ustasgood.I
f
notbet
ter

Him:Well
.Icantleav
ethi
stochance.Ir
efuse
you'
rer
esignat
ion.Nameyou'
repri
ce

Me:Sirwi
thal
lduerespect
.Iam notf
orsal
e.I
am l
i
teral
l
yabil
li
onair
e.

Hi
m:i
know.ButSi
ya.Your
unt
hiscount
ry
Me:
nowi
tst
imei
runmyf
ami
l
y

Hi
m: ok.Whataboutyout
akeast
epbackand
t
hinkaboutt
his.i
twil
lal
sogi
vemeti
met o
t
hinkaboutwhattodo

Me:
That
'sonl
yfai
r.

Il
eftthePr esi
dentandheadedbacktoHQ.I
hadaf eeli
ngIwouldbepulli
nganallni
ght
er.I
neededt osortoutal
lthi
snonsenseandget
backtomyof fi
ce.

*
***
***
***
Fif
i**
***
***
*

Bytheti
meeveni
ngcamear
oundi
was
exhaust
ed.
Jetlaghadkeptmeawakeandnowi
wasal
l
zonedout.

Ineededt
ogett
obedasi
nyest
erday
.

Isoakedi
nthebat
handt
hengotoutandgot
i
ntobed.

Iwaslookingforwar
dt odozingoff
,ti
llmy
phonest ar
tedri
ngi
ng.Iputitonsil
enceand
tr
iedgoingbacktosleep,butthecal
lerwas
persi
stent.

Il
ookedatt
hecal
l
erI
DandsawSi
ya'
sname.

IknowIshoul
d'veanswer edbutforsome
reasonidi
dn'
twantt o.Soi puti
tonsil
enceand
dri
ftedi
ntoapeacefulsleep.Forsomereasoni
evendreamtofmyFather.hehad2seedinhi
s
handandwasplati
ngthem.Itri
edgett
inghi
s
att
ent
ionbutitl
ookedl
ikehecouldn'
thearme.

Iwant
edtogocl
oser
,butsomeoneknockedon
mydoor.

Ii
gnor
edi
tandtr
iedgett
ingbackt
osl
eep,
but
whoev
eri
twasconti
nued.

Igotupandputonmyr
obeandwentt
oanswer
thedoor
.

Iopenedandoneoft
heguardswer
est
andi
ng
ther
ewithaphonei
nhishand

Hi
m:Sorr
ytodist
urbyouMam.ButGhost
want
stotal
ktoyou.
Irol
l
edmyey
esandt
ookt
hephoneouthi
s
hand

Me:
Siy
ait
s2am
hi
m:whyar
en'
tyouanswer
ingy
ourphone 
Me:
I'
m sl
eepi
ng
Hi
m: Sincewhendon'
tyouanswerwheny
ou'
re
sl
eeping 
Me:
phonemeonmyphone
Hi
m:ok

Idr
oppedt
hecal
landgav
etheguar
dhi
sphone

Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m: I
tsapl
easur
eMam.Cani
gety
ouany
thi
ng
el
se?
Me:
not
hanky
ou 
Hi
m:Goodni
ghtmam
Me:
Goodni
ght

Iclosedmydoorandwentbackt obed.Iwas
rat
hergr atef
ulthatSi
ya'
sMom washer ewi
th
us.Shewassl eepi
ngwithLesediwhichmeant
forthefirsti
nnearlyayearIcoul
dsleep
throughoutthenight.

Asi
wast
hinki
ngaboutLesedi
,Si
yacal
l
ed

Me:
baby
Hi
m:Hey
.Ar
eyouok
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.Justt
ir
ed 
Hi
m: Igotwor
ri
edwhenyoudi
dn'
tanswer
.I
t
houghtyouweremadatme
Me:
whywoul
dibemadaty
ou

Him:idon'
tknow.Ij
ustt
houghtt
hatmay
be.
..
..
nevermind

Me:
cani
got
osl
eepnow

Hi
m:i
lov
eyou

Me:
ilov
eyout
oo

Hi
m:Ri
fi
loe.it
sallgoi
ngt
obeok.Justgiv
eme
af
ewdays.justpr
omisemeyouwontleaveme

Hear
ingSiyathinkt
hatiwantedtoleavehurt
me.Ilovehim andihat
edthathethoughtthati
woul
dl eav
ejustcausethegoinggottough
Me:
Siy
ail
ovey
ou.I
'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e

Hi
m:Iwi
shi
coul
dbel
i
evey
ou

Me:youneedtotrustme.Pl
ease.Il
oveyou.I
ts
notal
wayseasy.Butidononetheless.

Hi
m:t
henwhyar
eyousodi
stant

Me:
(si
ght
)

Hi
m:i
l
lspeakt
oyout
omor
row

Me:
okgoodni
ght
Hi
m:Goodni
ght

Me:
youshoul
dhangup

Hi
m:i
don'
twantt
o

Me:
nei
therdoi

Him:ishoul
dthough.I
'
vegott
onsofwor
kto
gett
hrough

Me:
thatBadha

Hi
m:not
hingi
canthandl
e

Me:
ok.Sogoodni
ght
.
Hi
m:dr
eam aboutme.

Me:
alway
s.

Iendedthecal
landfel
lasl
eepagai
n.Si
yajust
knewhowt omakemeatease.Ihatedbei
ng
wit
houthim.Butatt
hesamet i
meicouldnever
tr
ulyl
ivewit
houthi
m. 
Soisl
eptaccepti
ngthatthi
swassomethingI
wasgoingtohavetogetusedto.Si
yal
ovedhis
j
obandi di
dn'
twanthimt hi
ngt
hatiwouldleav
e
j
ustbecauseihat
edhisjob.

IwasBonni
ehewasCl
ydeandnot
hingwoul
d
changet
hat
.Notev
endeat
h.
[
05/
16,
18:
46]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
186

Theteam andIworkedthrought heni

ght
.Nai
l
s
wasinterr
ogati
ngJess,butshewasa
prof
essional
andwasn'tparti
cipati
ng.

Ihadn'
tseenorspokent
oJessi
casi
ncei
out
herawayaft
ershehadherbaby
.

Nowher
eshewast
ell
i
ngmyt
eam shewant
ed
t
otal
ktome.

Idecidedtorathernot
.Nai
lswoul
dhaveturn
thi
ngsupabi t
.I'
m sur
eonceshegotsl
apped
aroundabi tshewouldbemorewil
li
ngto
parti
cipat
e.

Il
eftt
heof
fi
ceandheadedt
oRi
fi
loe'
shouset
o
f
reshenup.

ineededaniceshower,
i wantedtobefresh
enoughforwhenNaledi
'sfathercal
l
ed.Ihoped
hewouldjustsi
gnthedeal andgetthehell
out
ofSAsoi coul
dgot omyf amily
.

Iar
ri
vedhomeandi
tfel
tasemptyascoul
dbe.
Theonl
ypeopl
eher
eweretheguar
ds.

Imademysel
fbr
eakf
ast
,thenwentupst
air
sto
shower
.

SeeingRi
fi
loest
hingsonl
ymademyneedt
o
resi
gnsomuchgr ater
.

I
nthepastIhadalway
swor kedmywayoutof
r
esi
gni
ng,butthi
stimeitwasit.Il
ovedmyj
i
b.I
l
ivedf
orit
,butnowi j
ustcoul
dn'tt
akeit.The
t
houghtofmyf amilybeingsofarfr
om me, or
mehavingtoshipthem offatt
hef i
rstsi
gnof
t
roubl
ewasn'tstabl
e.

Iwant
edt
odothi
sandnoonewasgoingt
o
st
opme.Myf
amilydeser
vedbet
ter
.

Aft
ermyshoweri l
ookedoversomethe
documentsonNaledi
'
sfatherandboywashe
j
ustasinv
olvedasshewas.

Theycar r
iedandmanufactur
edthedrugsfor
FernandezintheAfr
icanregi
on.Theymadea
for
tunebutal otofi
twenttokeepingNal
edi'
s
mot heral
ive.

All
Ineededwastomeetwi
thhi
m andmake
surehesi
gnsthedeal
.
Il
efthomeandheadedt
oHQ.
 
Iar
ri
vedandNai
l
swasst
il
li
nter
rogat
ingJess.

Hl
okesontheotherhandwasmoni
tor
ing
Nal
edi
'sf
ather

Me:
howar
ethi
ngs 
Hi
m:Hehasn'
tmov
edar
oundmuch.
 
Me:
ok.Letmeknowwhenhemov
es.

Hi
m:cool
.

Idecidedsinceever
ythi
ngwasinordert
hissi
de.
Iwouldgoandl ookathowNdhlovuCorpwas
doing.Ihadntbeenther
ephysi
call
yinawhil
e.
Idj
ustkeptupwi thwhatwasgoingon.
IhadanactingCEOwhohadbeendoi ngwell
,
ourfi
gureshadgoneup12%si ncehetookover
andthatmademel i
kehim ev
enmor e.
Especi
all
ysinceIdi
dn'
thavetobabyhim.He
knewwhatneededtobedoneandhedi di
t.

Iwal
kedt
hroughNdhl
ovuCor
pandal
lseemed
wel
l.

Andreahadresi
gned,
butHRwasal l
overi
t.I
tol
dthem t
ohav eanassi
stantf
ormebythe
ti
mei st
art
ed.

Iwentt oCharl
esof fi
ce,andfoundhi m ona
conferencecal
l.Isatdownandl i
stenedashe
concludedtheconv ersat
ionwiththeourNY
off
ice.
Oncehewasdone,
heendedt
hecal
l
.

Hi
m:sor
ryf
orkeepi
ngy
ou 
me:
Nowor
ri
es.Howar
ethi
ngsgoi
ng 
Him:all
iswel
l
.Wehav eourf
inancial
yearend
comingup.Weshoul
dhaveourfinalfi
gur
es
then 
Me: soundsgood.Iact
ual
lycametoinf
ormy
ou
thatI'
m planni
ngoncomingbacki
ntothe
corporat
ewor l
dful
lti
me
Hi
m:oh
Me:don'
tworry
.Youwillsti
ll
beCEO.Ijustwant
toworkonexpandi
ng.IwantNdhlovuCorp
ever
ywher
e.Afri
ca,
Asia,thewor
ld. 
Hi
m:Soundsexci
ti
ng 
Me:I
twi
l
lbe.ButIhav
eaf
ewt
hingst
owr
apup
f
ir
st
Hi
m:Ok.I
llmakesur
eyouhav
eaPAbyt
he
t
imey
ouar
ri
ve 
Me:
Good.

Il
eftNdhl
ovuCor
p,andwentt
oHQ.

Iar
riv
edatHQandNai l
ssti
ll
hadn'
tmadeany
l
eewaywithJessi
ca.Soit
ookthedeci
siont
o
doitmysel
f.

Ij
usthopedRi
fi
loewoul
dn'
tgoAl
lapeshi
ton
me

Iwal
kedintheroom andJessi
calooked
not
hingl
ikethegir
liknew.Shewasthin,
her
hai
rshor
t.

Her
:Iwonderedhowlongi
twoul
dtakef
ory
ou
t
ocomeher eyour
sel
f
Me:Giv
emet heinf
oIwantJessi
ca,
orel
se
t
hingswil
lgetr
eall
ybad

Her;i
don'
tcar
eaboutal
loft
his.Iwantt
oget
outofher
e

Me:af
terall
youdidy
oushoul
dbegr
atef
uli
hav
en'
tkil
ledyou

Her
:Webot hknowtheonlyreasony
oucantki
ll
meisbecauseofthatni
ghtwespenttoget
her
.

Me:
don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
f.

i
pul
l
edoutoneoft
het
ool
boxi
nther
oom.
Me:youeithert
ell
meever
ythi
ngorelseit
ake
oneofthesetool
sandst
artpul
li
ngoutyour
teet
honeatat i
me

Her
:youdon'
tscar
eme

Me:
wel
ll
et'
sgett
oitt
hen

It
ookofmybl
azerandr
oll
edupmysl
eev
es

Il
ookedt
hrought
het
ool
sandpi
ckedup
hammer

Me:
your
eady

Her
:youwoul
dn'
tdar
e
Me:
tryme

Iwal
kedt
owar
dsher
,andIsawhergetf
idget
y.

Ihel
doutt
hehammerandhi
therhandagai
nst
thet
abl
ewithi
t.

Shey
ell
edouti
npai
n.

Me:youknowwhatwoul
dmaket
hisni
cer
?
Nai
l
s

Iwenttothet
oolboxandt
ookoutaf
ewnai
l
s.
Oneforeachfi
nger

Me:
I'
vegot12nai
l
sher
e.1Foreachf
inger
Her
:Si
ya.
.pl
ease

i
tookherl
efthandandpl
acedi
tont
het
abl
e.

Ihammedapi nki
efinger
,andshescr
eamed.I
mov edtoherr
ingfi
ngerandagai
nshe
screamed.

Wehadbl
oodcomi
ngoutofev
erwher
e

Me:
youwantt
otal
know

Her
:Gh.
..
.Gh.
..Ghost
.Pl
ease.Ok.I
llt
alk

Me: see.NowI 'm goingtohammert womor eof

yourfingers.Justforthefunofi
t.ThenI
'm
goingt ocallNail
sandy ouaregoingtot
ellhim
ev
ery
thi
ng.Ar
ewecl
ear

Ihammeredthelastt
wof i
ngers,andr ev
eledi
n
howgoodi tf
eltt
ohurther.Especial
l
ysinceshe
wasthereasonwhyRifi
loewaski dnappedand
near
lyr
aped.

It
ookmyj
acketandl
efthercr
yingi
nangui
sh

Iwentt
omyof
fi
ceandwentt
ocl
eanmy
sel
fup.

It
oldNai
l
stocar
ryonwi
thJessi
ca.

Alli
hadtodonowwasheadt oNal
edi'
sfat
her.
His24hrswasup.Iwant
edt
hatdealsi
gnedand
iwanteddonenow.
[
05/
16,
18:
48]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
187

Iwokeupthefol
lowi
ngdayf
eel
i
ngr
ather
nauseousashel
l
. 
Itr
iedgett
ingoutofbedbutthedrowsi
ness
wasjustonanotherlev
el.SoIl
aybackdown
andhopedt hatt
hemomentwoul dpass,but
unfor
tunat
elyitj
ustgotworse.
 
Imust
’vedozedoffagai
n,becauseIwaswoken
upbySiya’
smother

Her
;Makot
iar
eyouok?
Me;
Sor
ryma.Imust
’vedozedof
fabi
t 
Her
;ar
eyouf
eel
i
ngok
Me;
nonotr
eal
l
y.I
’
mrat
hernauseous
Her
;woul
dyoul
i
kemet
ocal
lyouadoct
or 
Me;
no.don’
twor
ryaboutme.I
’
m sur
eit
’sj
ust
t
heJetLag 
Her
;ar
eyousur
e 
Me;
no.buti
fitget
swor
se,
I’
ll
lety
ouknow 
Her;I
’l
lbr
ingyousomesoup.Thenyoucango
backtobed.Thechi
ldr
enarefi
ne.They
’reon
thebeachwit
hBoni 
Me;
Thanky
ouma

MaNdhlovuboughtmeupsomesoupandI
i
mmedi at
elyf
eltnauseousfrom t
hesmellofi
t.I
putt
hesoupont hestand,andsleptsome
more 
Bytheti
meIcamearounditwasaf
terMidday
.I
l
ookedatmyphoneandsawIhad5mi ssed
cal
l
sf r
om Si
yasoIdeci
dedtocal
lhi
m back

Hi
m;y
ou’
reup 
Me;
Hey
 
Hi
myousoundt
err
ibl
e 
Me;
Justabi
tof
fthat
’sal
l
. 
Hi
m;YahMymom t
oldme 
Hi
m;y
ouneedt
oseeadoct
or 
Me;
I’
mfi
nebabe.
 
Him;Babypl
ease.Iknowyou’
rest
ubbor
nas
hel
l.Butwi
ll
youjustcomeback 
Me;
ifIf
eel
anywor
se.Ipr
omi
sey
ouI
’
llgo 
Hi
m; Ok.Ican’
treal
l
yar
gueaboutthisri
ghtnow.
I
’m onmywaysomewher e.SoI
llspeaktoyou
whenI’
m done 
Me;
Ok 
Him;youbet
tergot
othatdamndoct
orRi
fi
loe
orel
sewearegoingtohavepr
obl
ems

Iwant
edt
orepl
y,butSi
yahadal
readyended
thecal
l.Ir
oll
edmyey esandwentt
othe
bathr
oom tofreshenup.
 
Iwasst
il
lrat
hernauseousbutIwantasbadas
ear
li
ert
hatmorning.
 
Itookmyuneatensoupdownst
air
sandsawthe
kidsweresti
l
lonthebeachwi
thBoniand
MaNdhlovu.SoImadesomedrytoastandwent
tojoi
nthem.

*
***
***
***
***
** 
SIYA*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

Iendedmycal lwithRif
il
oeandheadedstr
aight
toNaledi’
sfather
’shotel
.Iwasdonewit
hallthe
bull
shi
t.Ineededtobei nCubawit
hRifi
l
oe.Only
Godknowswhati swrongwithher
,andher
beingallt
hewayacr osstheworl
dwasn’t
exactl
yideal

Iar
ri
vedathi
shot
elandf
oundhi
ssecur
it
yteam
i
nplace.Iwalkedpassedt
hem andoneoft
hem
t
ri
edstoppingme.

Hi
m;I
’m sor
rysi
rbutt
her
ear
enov
isi
tor
s
al
l
owed 
Me;boyyoubett
ermov
eyourhandsbef
ore
t
hingsgetbad 
Hi
m; I
’m sor
rysi
r.Iam notal
l
owedt
oletany
one
t
hrough 
Me;youhavepi
ckedtheworstdaytopi
ssme
of
f.NowgetyourBosstogivemeclearanceor
el
seIwil
lhaveyourbr
ainonthesewall
s 
Hi
m;Si
r 
Me;
Fine;
youl
eav
emenochoi
ce

Ipull
edoutmygunandpoi
ntedathim.His
col
leaguespul
l
edoutt
hei
rsandpointedatme 
Me;
youhav
eachoi
ce.Ibl
owy
ourbr
ainsnow,
ory
ougety
ourment
obackdown 
Hi
m;Ok.Ok.I
’
llgetcl
ear
ance

Hecall
edoneoft
hesecur
it
yguar
dsi
nsi
de,
and
asIknew,
Igotcl
ear
ance.

Iputmygundownandsodi
dther
estoft
hem

Iwalkedi
ntothehot
elr
oom andf
oundNal
edi
’
s
fat
herint
helounge

Me;Presi
dentTau.Sor
ryt
oar
ri
veso
unannounced 
Hi
m;sav
ethebul
l
shi
t
Me;welli
nthatcasewher
eismysi
gned
cont
ract
Hi
m;(
chuckl
es)y
out
hinky
oucanscar
eme.
 
Me;
NoIdonotplanonscar
ingyou.Nowsi
gn
t
hecont
ractorel
set
her
ewillbehel
l 
Hi
m;gi
vemey
ourbestshot
 
Me;ar
eyousurebecauseonceshi
thappens
t
henther
eisnotur
ningback 
Him;t
hisonl
yendsoneway
.Ei
therIdi
eory
ou
do 
Me;
ok.I
nthatcaseIwi
l
lseey
ouar
ound 
Him; y
oubet t
ermakesurey ouarereadyboy .
BecauseI’vebeeninthi
sgamemuchl onger
thanyou,andbeliev
emewhenIsayIam not
Fernandez.Youmayhav ebeenabl etoarrest
him,butme.Iam muchwor se.Especi
allysince
mydaught erkil
l
edhersel
fbecauseofy ouand
thatexcuseofawomant hatyoucallyourwi f
e 
Ilef
thisr
oom andknewthatthismeantthat
therewoul
dbewar .Whi
chistheonethingthatI
tri
edtoavoi
d,butnowIhadtogettheteam in
gear.I
fmycountrywasgoi
ngi ntowarwithdrug
l
ordsandgangst
erswewoul
dhav
etobei
ntop
f
orm.

Iwouldhavet ostopcal
li
ngRifi
loeforawhil
e,
andthefactthatshewasillj
ustmademe
anxi
ous.Ijustwishedshewouldgot othe
doctorandwewoul dknowwhat ’
swrong,
becauselordonlyknewwhent hiswarwould
End,andthelastthi
ngIneededwashav i
ngto
worryaboutherhealthwhenIhadapr i
ceonmy
head.
[
05/
16,
18:
57]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

188

Iar
ri
vedatt
heof
fi
ceandgat
her
edmyt
eam f
or
ameeti
ng.
Idoubl
edupsecurit
yinCuba,anddeci
dedto
havesomeguardsandpoliceatt
heborder
s.I
neededmenont hegroundnowmor et
hanever
.

PresidentTauwasuptosomet
hingandi
fi had
anythingtodowit
hiti
wantedt
ostophim athi
s
game.

NowineededtophoneandspeaktoRi
fil
oe.
Lor
donlyknewhowshewasgoi ngtot
akethi
s

Her
:Si
Me:
Hibaby
Her
:Hi
Me:
tel
lmey
ouwentt
othedoct
or
Her
:no.Noty
et.
 
Me:I
sther
eev
ergoingtobeat
imewher
eyou
ar
egoingt
odoastold
Her
:im pl
anni
ngongoi
ngt
omor
row 
Me:
,
good 
Her
:howhasy
ourdaybeen 
Me:it
sbeenabi
thect
icbutnot
hingi
cant
handl
e
Her
:Iwor
ryabouty
ou.Icantwai
tti
l
lthi
sthi
ng
i
soverwi
th
Me:
yahIknow 
Her:
sowhenexact
lyar
eupl
anni
ngoncomi
ng
home?
Me:I
'
m notsur
eyetbabe.Looksl
i
kei
mightbe
awhi
le
Her
:howl
ongi
sawhi
l
e 
Me:
Rif
il
oeI
'
m notsur
e 
Her
:SoI
'
mjustsupposedt
obeokwi
tht
his 
Me:Rif
il
oe.Youknowthi
sisbiggert
hanme.I
fi
coul
diwouldbewithyouinCuba.Butasy
ou
canseeit
sabithect
icri
ghtnow
Her
:what
everSi
ya.

Itr
iedt
oexpl
ainbutRif
il
oehadputt
hephone
downonme,whichjustpi
ssedmeoff.
 
Idon'
tknowwhatiti
s,butthesepastf
ewday
s
shehadbeenact
ingstrange.

Idial
l
edheronceagai
nbutshedidn'
tanswer
.I
tr
iedheragai
nbutst
il
lnot
hing.

Nowi wasj
ustgett
ingannoy ed.Ihadsomuch
shitt
odeal wi
thworkwi se,andallineededwas
formywomant ounderstand.Inst
eadher eshe
wast hrowi
ngatantrum becausei wasn'thome.

I
fonl
ysheknewhowmuchpr essur
ei hadon
myshoul
der
s.Nottomentionthefactthati
woul
dhavetogodarksoon,whichmeantno
communi
cat
ionwi
thherort
hechi
l
dren.

Iwal
kedtoBullet
soffi
ceandaskedhi
mtocal
l
Boni
.IneededtospeaktoRi
fi
loeandmyonl
y
waywast hr
oughBoni

Him:whywouldyouwantmet
ocal
lmywoman
soyoucanspeaktoyour
s
Me:
Rif
il
oeputt
hephonedownonme
Hi
m:I
'
m al
soi
nthedogbox
Me:
whatdi
dyoudo
Hi
m: Ihav
en'
tbeenabletocal
lhersincet
hey
l
eftf
orCuba.Soidoubtshewil
ltakemycall
 
Me:
damnj
ustt
ryher
Him:I
'
vetri
edher10t
imest
oday
.I'
mtel
l
ingy
ou
shewontpi
ckup
Me:
fuck
Hi
m:l
etst
ryoneoft
heguar
ds 
Me:
yah.Ti
alt
ool
s

Het
ri
edt
ool
swhoi
mmedi
atel
yanswer
ed.

It
ookt
hephonef
rom hi
m

Me:
tool
s.Ineedt
otal
ktoRi
fi
loe.Getheron
t
heli
ne 
Hi
m:y
esboss

Icoul
dher
etool
swal
ki
ngt
oRi
fi
loe'
sroom.

Ihear
dheranswert
hedoor
,butsher
efusedt
o
taket
hecal
l.

I
nst
eadi
justhear
dthel
i
negodead.
Ibashedbull
etsphoneagai
nstt
hewal
loutof
fr
ustrat
ion.

WhydidRifi
l
oehavet
obesodamnst ubbor
n.
Whatdidshewantmetodo.I
tsnotl
i
kei
wantedtodeal
wit
hthi
sbutidi
dn'
thavea
choi
ce.

Il
eftbul
let
soff
iceandwenttoaconf
erence
cal
kthatIhadwit
hthepr
esident
. 
Ineededt
olethi
m knowaboutt
heupcomi
ng
war.

Me:
MrPr
esi
dent
 
Hi
m:l
i
eut
enant
Me:
I'
m af
rai
dIv
egotsomebadnews
Hi
m:whati
sit
Me:Siritl
ooksl
i
kePresi
dentTauisntbacki
ng
down.Inst
eadhehasbasi
call
ydeclar
edwas
agai
nstus
Hi
m:Dammi
t 
Me:dontworr
yabouti
t.Ihav
ethesi
tuat
ion
undercont
rol
 
Hi
m: howcani notworr
y.I
fthisthi
nggoesto
waritwi
llcausepani
candrightnowthelast
t
hingIneedismycountryi
npani c
Me: Yes.Iunderstandsir.Whichi
swhichiswhy
ihaveourof fi
cersev er
ywhere.I
'v
eevenbought
i
nsomeoft hepol iceforceandsomeofthe
army .I
fanythi
ngwer etohappen.Weare
prepared 
Him:Ihopefory
oursakeyou'
rer
ightbecausei
wouldhatet
ohav et
ocall
intr
oopsfrom other
nati
ons 
Me:wedon'
tneedto.Fornowwear
eincont
rol
.
Pl
usIhaveanaceupmysl eev
e 
Hi
m:car
etoshar
e 
Me:noty
etsi
r.ButsoonenoughI
'
lll
ety
ou
know
Hi
m:youknowIt
rusty
ouLi
eut
enant
.Donot
makemeregr
eti
t 
Me:
Iwon'
tsi
r
Hi
m:good.Nowkeepmeupdat
ed 
Me:
Iwi l
lsi
r.Nowther
eisonemor
ethi
ngIwant
t
odiscusswithy
ou 
Hi
m:i
mli
steni
ng

Iwasj
ustaboutt
ocont
inuewhenBul
l
etr
ushed
i
n

Hi
m:Ghost
.Uneedt
oseet
his
me:
Whati
sit
Hi
m:i
tsy
ouruncl
e.Hur
ry
Iwrappedupmycallwi
thThePr
esi
dentand
wenttoouropenspace

Thesi
ghtisawonthetel
evi
sionwassomet
hing
Iwast
rul
ynotexpect
ing.

Myuncl
e'
shandswer
etiedbehi
ndhi
sbackand
hewasbl
oodi
ngheav
il
y.

Me:
Ist
hisl
i
ve 
Nai
l
s:Yesboss.Wehav
eagent
sont
heway
t
here 
me:
fuck

Nol
essthat2minutesofwat
chingmenbeat i
ng
myuncl
etodeat
h, ir
ecei
vedacallf
rom Ri
fi
loe,
whi
chIhadnochoicebuttoi
gnore
anot
hercal
lcamet
hroughonpr
ivat
enumber

Me:
Nai
l
s.Tr
acet
hiscal
l

Hi
m:sho

Me:
hel
l
o
Him: nowithoughti
wouldsendyouagif
t.
Sinceyoukil
ledmydaughteri
twastimei
showedy ouwhoy ouar
edeali
ngwith 
Me:
agi
ftha 
him; yes.Iam goingtosendyourunclet
oyouin
pieces.Illst
artwiththeheadandwill
endwith
thev erylasttoe.Hel
l I
llev
ensendyouhi
sdick
j
ustf orthef unofit
Me:Presi
dentTauIam warni
ngyou.Youdo
t
hatandthingswi
llgetugl
y.Real
ugly

Hi
m:Wel
lugl
yiswhati
li
ke.

Hedroppedt
hecal
landi
dreadedwhatwas
aboutt
ohappen

Me:
Nai
l
s.Howf
ari
sthet
eam

Hi
m:Theyar
e5mi
nout
.Theyshoul
dreachhi
m
j
usti
nti
me

JustasNailssai
dthatIsawamaskedmanon
thetel
evi
sioncomebehindmyuncl
ewit
ha
doubleedgesword.
Me:
Fuck.Nai
l
sfuck

Heli
ft
editandaspromi
sedmyuncl
e'
shead
wassli
cedoffast
houghi
twer
emerecheese.

If
eltmybodysweat
,andmyhandscl
eanch.

Icoul
dher
epeoplear
oundmebutcoul
dn'
t
makeoutwhatt
heyweresay
ing

Thi
swassomet
hingt
hati
hadnev
erpr
epar
ed
for
.

Myunclesheadlayonthef
loorwhi
lethe
swordsmanlaughedhi
sheadoffasthoughi
t
werenothi
ng.
Ist
art
edf
eel
i
ngnauseousandwant
edt
opuke.

Myunclewasn'
tmyfavouri
teper
son, buthe
wastheonl
yli
nkihadleftt
omyf ather.And
nowherehewas.Hisbodyspasmingbecause
oft
heshockofhavi
nghisheadremov ed.

Bull
etwasstandi
nginfr
ontofmeshout
ing
order
s,buti
couldn'
ther
ehim

Iwentdownst air
stot heshoot
ingrangeand
j
ustwentwi ld.Ineededsobadlytoletoutt
his
feel
i
ngi nmyhear t,andtheonlywayIknewhow
wasbyf ir
ingasmanyshot saspossibl
y
possi
ble.

Ist
ayedatt
heshoot
ingr
angeforaboutanhour
.
Bytheti
meicameoutiwasreadyt
of uck
peopl
eup.
Me:
Nai l
s.Di
dthef
orcegett
her
eint
imet
osav
e
t
herestofhi
sbody

Hi
m:y
esboss

Me:di
dyoublockthisfootage?idon'
twant
any
bodyseei
ngit.Especial
lythefami
ly

Hi
m:i
tsal
readydone

Me:
aret
her
eguar
dsi
nKZN

Hi
m:y
esboss

Me:good.Nowit
sti
neforustogodark.Iwant
ev
eryagentsomewher
e.Iwantt
okil
lthis
mot
herf
uckermy
sel
f

Hi
m:shur
e

Me: bull
et.Iwantyoutor eleasethefi
l
eon
presidentTauconnectinghi m andNaledit
o
Fernandez.Iwantev er
ybi tofinfor
mationwe
haveusedagai nstthem

Hi
m:shap

Me:youhaveanhour.Aft
erthi
swearegoing
dar
k.Iwantusonthefir
stfl
i
ghttoLesot
ho.

Bul
l
et:
Lesot
ho?

Me:
yes.Iam goi
ngt
omaket
hisf
uckerpayi
n
hi
sv er
yowncountry
.Hehasjustmadean
enemyofmeandnowi twasti
meishowedhim
whatiam capabl
eof.Bythet
imeiam done
wit
hhimtherewontbemuchf orhi
mtosave 
hi
m:ok

me:onemor et
hing.Wewi
l
lneedahel
icopt
er.
Notaplane.Wearegoi
ngt
ohavetosneakint
o
l
esotho

Bul
l
et:
we'
regoi
ngol
dschool
.

Me:yep.I
tst
imey
oual
lputy
ourt
rai
ningt
o
gooduse.

Hi
m:Howmanyagent
s

Me:
100f
ornow
Hi
m:done.

Me:
youhav
eanhour

Il
eftBul
letandwenttogetchanged.Icoul
dn'
t
exact
lygoonami ssi
onwithasuiton.

Ichangedi
ntocar
gopantsandagr
eenmuscl
e
top,wi
thmyArmyboots.

Aft
erchangi ngideci
dedtocallRif
il
oe.Idi
dn't
wanttost r
essaboutthedetail
s,butIdefi
nit
ely
neededtoletherknowt hatiwasgoingtobe
unreachableforawhil
e.

Thankf
ull
ysheanswer
edont
he5t
hri
ng
Her
:Hi
Me:
Hi
Her
:It
ri
edcal
l
ingy
ou
Me:
Iwasi
nthemi
ddl
eofsomet
hing 
Her
:Somet
hingmor
eimpor
tant
 
Me:
yesRi
fi
loe.Thi
swasi
mpor
tant
her
:mhmm 
Me:goshi cantstandyourfucki
ngatt
it
ude.
Whatdoy ouwantf r
om me?Howmanyt i
mes
di
ditryphoningy oubutyoudidn'
tanswer.You
wantmet ofuckingbegy ouandthati
s
somethi
ngi wontf ucki
ngdo.

Her:
don'
ttal
ktomel
i
ket
hat
.Youst
art
edt
his
shi
t
Me;y ouknowwhatRi fil
oe.Ijustcal
ledtotel
l
youthati wontbereachable.Im goi
ngona
mission.soi washopingtospeakt omywi fe,
butsincey ouarei
naf owlmood.Imi ghtas
wellendthisstupi
dconv er
sat i
onnow.

Iendedthecallandswi t
chedoffmyphone.I
l
ovedRifi
loe.Ir
eallydidbuthermoodswere
somethi
ngi wasn'tgoingtoenter
tain.
Especi
all
ywithmel eavi
ngforl
esotho.

Iguessiwoul
dhav
etodeal
wit
hal
lthatoncei
ret
urned
[
05/
16,
18:
58]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

189

(
sor
ryi
fther
ear
espel
l
inger
ror
s.Iwast
ypi
ng
l
i
keamani
ac)

Itr
iedcal
li
ngSi
yaoverandoveragai
n.Buthi
s
phonewasonsil
ence.Goshhewasannoy i
ng
met oday
. 
Li
keallofasuddenhehaddeci
dedt
ogoall
machoonme, andIhadnoideawhy
.Al
lIsai
d
wasthatIwantedtohi
mtocomehome. 
Ithadalr
eadybeenaweekwit
houthi
m,andhe
sti
llhadnoideawhatt
imehewouldbehome.
 
Il
eftmyr oom andwentt ot
hekit
chentomake
asnackf ormysel
f.Ihadsomechocolat
ecake
andmilk.Forsomer easonIwascrav
ing
somethingsweet.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***SI
YA*
***
***
***
***
**

Af
terspeaki
ngt
oRi
fi
loe,
Thet
eam l
oadedt
he
car
s,andgotr
eadyt
oleav
eforLesot
ho.
 
Nail
swasst ayi
ngbehindsohecouldhel
p
navi
gateus,butothert
hanthati
twasthewhol
e
team.Plusanother80opsagent
s. 
Iknowthejour
neyIhadaheadofme, but
somehowleavi
ngforamissionwi t
hRif
il
oemad
atmemademeuncomf ort
able.Ihadal
lthe
prot
ect
ionIneededbuti
nallhonestynoone
knewwhatwouldhappen.
 
Iwoul
dhatemyselfi
fsomethi
nghappenedto
meandIhadn’
tmadet hi
ngsri
ght,
soIputasi
de
myangerandcal
ledherandbysomemi r
acl
e
sheanswer
ed

Her
;Hi
 
Me;Baby
.I’
m sor
ryaboutear
li
er.Ishoul
dn’
t
hav
ebeenli
kethatt
owardsyou 
Her;Ishoul
dn’
thav
espokent
oyoul
i
ket
hat
ei
ther 
Me;Iknowyou’
refr
ust
rat
edbutbabyIam
doi
ngthisf
orus 
Her
;IknowSi
ya.I
t’
sjustdi
ff
icul
t.
 
Me; Iunder
standRif
il
oe.Butwhatdoyou
expectmet odo?IfIdon’
tfi
nisht
hismissi
on
thenwear escrewed.
 
Her
;(si
gh)
 
Me;Justgi
vemeafewweeks.Soonthi
swi
l
lbe
al
lbeoverandwewil
lbeaf
amilyagai
n 
Her
;Si
l
ence 
Me;
Rif
il
oe 
Her
;(sni
ff
) 
Me;
OhGodpl
easedon’
tst
artcr
yingRi
fi
loe 
Her;
(sni
ff)Si
yaIdon’twantyoutogo.Ihav
ea
badfeel
i
ngaboutthismissionofyour
s 
Me;
(si
gh)baby
.Iam goi
ngt
obef
ine.
 
Her
;Ihopeso
Me;
didy
ougot
othedoct
or
Her
;No.I’
vegotanappoi
ntmentfortomor
row
morni
ng.Thedoct
oriscominghere 
Me; good.I
llcal
li
ngyoui
fIgetachance.But
promisemey ouwon’
tst
ressi
fyoudon’tget
holdofme 
Her
;ok
Me;I’
m ser
ious.Nost
ressi
ng.Enjoyt
hebeach
andhavefunwithmybabies.I
’
llseeyousoon
ok 
Her
;Okbaby
 
Me;Il
oveyouRi
fi
loe.Wi
thal
lmyhear
tandI
sweart
oyouoncethisi
sdonewewil
lbeabl
e
tomoveon 
Her
;Ok 
Me;
Nowsendmeaki
ss 
Her
;I’
vesenty
out
ons 
Me;
wil
lyoupr
ayf
orme 
Her
;ev
eryday

Iwr
appedupmyconver
sat
ionwi
thRi
fi
loe,
and
welef
tforLesot
ho

*
***
***
***
***
***
**FI
FI*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*

Aftermyconversati
onwi thSiyaIinstant
lyfelt
better
.Iwentouttothebeachandspentt he
restofmydaywi thkids.Isti
l
lfel
tabi t
nauseousbutItoldmy selfIwoulddeal with
thatoncethedoctorarri
vedthef oll
owingday .
RightnowallIhadtodowashopeandpr aythat
Siyawouldbehomesoonerr atherthanlater.

Bytheti
mewel eftthebeach,wewentandhad
di
nnerontheverandaMaNdhl ov
ut ookthekids
andwenttohavedinnerintheki
tchen,whil
e
BoniandIsatontheVeranda
Her
;thi
sisshi
t 
Me;
(chuckl
es)
 
Her
;Li
ker
eal
ly
.Whycoul
dn’
twefi
ndnor
mal
men?Menwhohav
enormalj
obs 
Me;
tel
lmeabouti
t.Her
ewear
ehav
ingdi
nner
i
nCubaal
lal
one.
Her;
Iknowt hi
siswhattheywant,butI
’mtell
i
ng
youRif
il
oe.I’
m havi
ngsecondthoughtsabout
marry
ingHlokes 
Me;
No
Her
;I’
m ser
ious 
Me;
Buty
ouguy
slov
eeachot
her
 
Her;wedo.ButIcannotkeepgoingonli
kethis.
Mywei ghti
supanddown.Idon’ tsl
eepatni
ght
becauseIdon’
tknowi fhewil
lcomehome.I
haveanannoyi
ngbabymamat odealwi
th.I
t’
s
al
ltoomuchRifi
loe.Icannott
akei t
 
Me;
Iknowwhaty
ou’
regoi
ngt
hrough
Her
;It
hinkweneedwi
ne 
Me;
yes.I
’
llgoget

Iwenttothecell
arandcamebackwithabott
le
ofred.Wedrankital
landendedupdrunkas
hell
.Iknowtheysaynottouseal
coholasa
crut
ch.Butri
ghtnowitwastheonecrutchwe
coulddependon.

Iwokeupt hefoll
owingdaywithamassi v
e
hangover.Thefi
rstt
hingIdidwast hr
owupt he
l
it
t l
ethatIhadinmyst omach.Iknewithad
beenawhi lesi
nceIhadwi ne,
lbutthi
swas
crazy.
 
Icl
eanedupaf
termyselfandtookashower.
Somethi
ngwasdefi
nit
elywrongwithme. 
Ishoweredthenwentdownstai
rst
ohave
breakf
ast,
butunfor
tunat
elyt
hesmell
offood
j
ustmadethi
ngsworse.Iki
ssedmybabi
es,
and
t
hankf
ull
ymydoctorarr
ived

Il
edt
hedoct
orupst
air
sandhedi
daf
ewt
est
s.

Him;hav
eyoueatenany
thi
ngy
oudon’
tusual
l
y
eati
nthepastweek 
Me;
No 
Hi
m;whenwasy
ourl
astper
iod

Themi nutet
hedoctorasked.Myheartsank.I
hadn’thadmyperiodsinceIhadLesedi
.I
breastf
edherfor6mont hs,
andwhenIst opped
SiyaandIstar
tedsleepi
ngwitheachother

Me;
about3mont
hsago 
Hi
m;well
wit
hthatsai
d,It
hinkwebot
hknow
what
’swr
ongwit
hy ou
Me;
ohGod 
Hi
m;Her
egopeeont
his

Iwentt
othebat
hroom andpeedonthesti
ch,
andasfat
ewoul
dhav eitIwaspr
egnant
. 
Igavet
hedoctortheresultsstil
lnotsureon
howIwasfeel
ing.Idefinit
elywasn’texpect
ing
tobedoi
ngthi
sall overagain,andonmyown,
whil
eSiy
aisoutsav i
ngt heuniverse.
[
05/
16,
18:
58]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

190

Isatonthedoctor
st abl
e,l
egsopenwhi
l
ehe
didatr
ansvaginalexam. 
Tomysurpri
seIwasal
ready10weeks.Aft
er
myexam hegavememyv it
aminsandIheaded
home.
 
Igoti
nthebackofandt r
iedunderstandi
ng
whatthi
smeant .SiyaandIwer est
il
l wor
kingon
bei
ngwitheachot her.Andnowher eIwas
al
one,engaged,divorcedandnowpr egnant
wit
hmysecondchi ldinamat t
erofmont hs.
Li
kereall
y,whatwasIt hi
nking? 
Thiswasall
sooverwhel
ming,butwhatmade
thi
ngsworsewasthefactt
hatSiyawasona
missi
on.AndnowIcouldn’
tevenshar
ethi
s
wit
hhim.AndOnlyGodknowswhenhewoul d
beback.

Iar
ri
vedbackhomeandwasn’ tquitesur
eon
whattodo.IfoundSi
ya’
smot herandevery
one
el
sehavinglunchont
hev er
anda.

Iki
ssedOlwet
hoandLesedi
,andsatdownt
o
j
ointhem
MaNdhl
ovu;
Makot
ihowdi
dyouappoi
ntment
go?
Me;
Itwasf
inema 
Boni
;sowhatdi
dthedoct
orsay
 
Me;ahmm hesai
dIneedt
ojustt
aket
hings
easyf
orawhil
e 
MaNdhlovu;t
aket
hingseasy
?Thatwashi
s
di
agnosis 
Me;well
.Nonotr
eal
l
y.Hesai
dIam 10weeks
pr
egnant

Theybot
hlookedatmeshocked.
 
Bonismiled,andMaNdhl
ovuhadt
ear
sinher
eyes.Shestoodupandcametogi
vemeahug

Her;
OhMakoti
.Iam sohappyf
oryou.
Si
yabongai
sgoi
ngtobeecstat
ic 
Me;
(sni
ff
)thanky
ouma 
Her
;Icannotwai
ttoseemygr
andchi
l
d

Ismi
ledandforthefi
rstt
imesi
ncef
indi
ngoutI
waspregnant
,Ibecamecalm.
 
Thiswasn’tsuchabadthing.Si
yawouldlov
e
anotherchi
ld.Ij
ustpr
aythatit
’saboy.Then
that
’sit
.Ourfamilywoul
dbecompl et
e.

Istar
tedlet
ti
ngl oseandforthefirstt
imesince
arr
ivi
nginCuba.Si yahaddonesomucht o
makesur eIwassaf eandhappy .TheleastI
coulddowast ryunderst
anding.Besides.Today
wast he31standIhadal otofgoodt olook
for
war dtoi
nt heNewYear .
 
MaNdhlov
uwentbacki
nsidet
orestwhil
eIsat
wit
hmychildr
enandj
ustenj
oyedthei
r
company.

Lesedi
hadgr
ownsof
ondofLesedi
.Shewas
crawli
ngbackwar ds,andhewast her
eev ery
stepoftheway .Youcoul dseethelove
betweent hem.Itwasj ustevi
dentbytheway
Olwethohel dherandwat chedoverher.Ihada
feel
inghewasgoi ngtobeov erl
yprotecti
ve
overher.Ikindoffeltsorryf
ormyl i
tt
legirl
.
Shameman.Shewoul dhav eOlwethoandSi ya
guardi
ngherl i
keahawk.Nott oment i
ont hey
wouldprobablyscareof fanyboyslookingat
herdir
ection.

Ismil
edandwat chedthem pl
ayi
ngwhil
eBoni
andIhadenjoy
edv ir
gincockt
ail
stocel
ebr
ate
thel
i
ttl
einv
aderi nmywomb.

**
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
SI
YA***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***

OurHel
i
copt
erar
ri
vedont
heout
ski
rt
soft
he
Lesothobor der,andt hi
ngsst art
edt ogetr
eal.
Wewer eheadingi ntoacount rythatwasn’t
ours,butwhatchoi cedidIhav e?Presi
dentTau
wasmaki ngi tcl
eart hatthiswasonef i
ghtthat
hadt obeper sonal.Andhowmuchmor e
personalcant hi
ngsgett hanbeat i
ngsomeone
ont hei
rveryownhomegr ound.

Iknowf orafacthewasonhi
swaybackt
o
LesothoandIwant edt
omakesur
eIgotr
idof
him onhisveryownsoil
.

Weputonourni ghgearandwal kedtherestof

thewayt otheborder
.IHadaf ewmenatt he
bordergate,whi
letherestofusweresneaking
i
n. 
Bythetimewewer eallacross,dawnwas
approachi
ng.Wehoppedatt hebackoft
he
tr
uckwehadasadi sguise.Ihadafewmeni n
Lesothoandourbasewoul dbeatoneoft he
ruralfarmsthatwasn’ttoof arf
rom Pr esident
Tau’shome.Weusedt hisfarm asacov erup,
becausei nfactwehadanunder groundf aci
li
ty
running.Thereasonwecoul dn’
tj ustfl
yher e
wasbecauseIknewt hatTau’ steam woul dbe
l
ooki ngoutatanyirr
egul armov ement s,and
obv i
ouslyover100peopl elandi
ngy ourcountry
atthesamet i
mewasabi tofagi veaway .
Especi al
lywit
hLesothobei ngsosmal l.

Ihad100ot heragent sarr

ivi
ngtoday.Hopeful
l
y
wit
ht hi
smanymen, Icoul
dov er
thr
owLesot ho
i
namat t
erofday s.Butfir
stIneededatleast3
hoursofsleep 
Iwenttothecabi
ns,
andgotundr
essed.Ihad
heavyArmoronandall
Iwantedwastotakeit
off
,andjustr
est.
 
Aft
ergetti
ngundressed,
Ilayont
hesingl
ebed,
andthoughtabouthowcrazyIwas.
 
Ihadahugeki
ngsi
zebedwai
ti
ngf
ormeat
home.Andi
nst
eadher
eIwasatthever
y
begi
nni
ngofawar,
whichIwasgoi
ngtoki
ck
off
. 
Mostpeopl ewouldn’tunder standi t
.Whywoul d
abusinessGr ad,
from aroy alfami l
ygointo
suchaj ob?Wherey ouhav ea50/ 50chanceof
surv
ival.ButI
’vebeendoi ngt hissol ong,that
thethoughtofonlybeingabusi nessmanj ust
wouldn’tcuti
t.Iwouldbesoboar d,butatthe
samet i
meIl ovedRifil
oet oomucht ocarryon
putt
ingourlivesi
ndanger .
 
Shehadst uckbyme, evenwhent hi
ngswere
dif
ficul
t.Shealwayslovedme.AndGodknowsI
woul ddoanythingt
ohonourt hat
.Whichi
swhy
Icameupwi t
hwhatIt houghtwasanexcel
lent
soluti
on. 
Aft
erthis,Iwoul
dtakecareofmybusi
nessand
nolongerbeintheforceasaLi
eut
enantoras
anagent .I
nst
eadIwouldbean
advi
sor/consul
tant
. 
ThePr esidentwasr i
ght .Hlokeswasgood, but
hehadn’ tbeenint hef orcef orasl
ongasIhad,
anditwoul dn’tbef ai
rt ojustthrowhimi nt
he
deepend.I nsteadIpl annedongui di
nghim, and
eventuall
yhewoul dn’tneedmeany more.We
couldmeetatmyof f
ices, andIwouldn’tev
en
needt osetf ootatHQ.Thi swayRi fi
loewould
behappyandIwoul dst i
llhaveatastenyanaof
thejobIl ove.Butatl eastIwoul dbehomeby5
andhel pRifil
oewit ht hekids. 
Hopef ull
yIcoul dconv i
ncehert ost ayathome
andr atherlookaft erourhomet hant ohavea
j
ob.Don’ tgetmewr ong.It’
snotast houghI
wantt okeepherconf i
nedt oourhouse, butI
woul dwantust ohav emor etimet ogetherand
i
fIwaswor kingfullti
me, andsowasshe, t
hat
woul dmeant hatwewoul donlyseeeachot her
afterwor k,and9/ 10wewoul dbot hbet oo
exhaust edtoev enhav etimet ogether.But
knowi ngmywi feshewoul dtell
met otakea
hike. 
Imust
’vefal
l
enasleep,becausewhenIwokeup
i
tatl
east4hourslat
er.Itwasnowtosetsome
ofmyplansinpl
ace. 
Igotup,tookaqui
ckshowerandwentt
othe
contr
olroom.Asalwaysmyagentswer
eall
readyandwaiti
ngf
orinst
ruct
ion.

Me;
Ok.Ev
ery
onegat
herar
ound

Theyal
lgat
her
ed,
andIcont
inued

Me; Fir
stlythanky ouallforbeinghere.Iknow
wear eusedt oplayingi
nourv eryown
backgroundori nplaceswher ewehav eful
l
control
, butthismissionisdifferent
.Thisis
for
eigncount r
y,whichmeanswewi l
lhavetobe
extr
av igil
ant.Iwantal l
ofust ogethomet oour
famili
es.Idonotwantanymi stakesonthisone.
Aeweal lclear
Them;
YesSi
r 
Me; Ok.Sot hi
sist heplanfort oday.Weare
goingtohav etogounder cover.Wewi l
lhaveto
changeint onormal cl
othes.Iwantust oplace
bombs, alloverLesotho.Mai nlythecit
ycentr
e,
thepresidentshome, hisofficesandmi ni
ster
s
off
ices.Itstimet ogearupbecauseWear e
goingtot akeoverLesot ho.Byt heti
meIam
donewi t
hPr esidentTau, hewontknowwhathi t
him
Myagent
sall
lookedatmeast
houghIhad
gonemad.

Me;Hl
okes.Doy
ouhav
ether
evi
sedpaper
wor
k? 
Hi
m;y
es.Ihav
ethem r
ighther
e 
Me;
dot
heyhav
eourPr
esi
dent
ssi
gnat
ure 
Hi
m;YesSi
r 
Me; Good.Now.Ineedy out ogetnail
sonthe
l
ine.Hest i
l
lhasthattrackerontau.Iwantt
o
knowhi sever
ymov e.Ialsoneedt oknowhow
farwear ewit
hgainingaccesstot hecameras
aroundthecount
r y
.Iwantt otalcont
rol

Hl
okeswentt
othecont
rolmonit
orst
ocont
act
Nai
lswhi
l
eIdismi
ssedtheteam.

Bythet imenightcomesIwouldhav ebombs,

explosivesandmachinegunsalloverLesot
ho.
PresidentTau,wouldbekneel
ingatmyf eet
beforet heendofthi
sweek,andthatwasa
promi se. 
TherewasnowayIwoul dlethi
m getawaywit
h
whathedidt omyuncle.Hehadmadean
enemyofme, andnowitwast i
meforhimto
facethesamef atet
hattherestofmyenemies
hadfaced. 
Hisday sont
hisworl
dwerenumber
ed, and
nothingwoul
dstandinmywayofgett
ingmy
revenge.
[
05/
16,
18:
59]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

191

Isatwi
ththeteam att
hefar
m andwewaited
fort
heagentstopl
acethebombsaround
Lesot
ho.
 
Thenicet
hingaboutmyweaponswast hatt
hey
wereremotecont r
oll
ed.Ididn’
tneedtobein
thear
eatosett hem off
.Instead,
oncethe
bombswerepl aced,myt eam wasbackat
camp,andallwehadt odowaswai t
. 
Andaspredi
ctedpresi
dentTauwasinhis
pal
ace.SoIt
ookthisasanopportuni
tyt
ocal
l
hi
m.Iwantedtohitthenai
lonthehead.
Hi
m;Tau
Me;
MrPr
esi
dent
 
Hi
m;(chuckl
es)Iwaswonder
ingwheny
ou
woul
dcall
 
Me;y
ah.IthoughtIwoul
dcomesayHi
.Fi
ndout
howthel
astfewhoursofyourl
i
fef
eel
li
ke 
Hi
m;Pr
ett
ygoodi
fyoumustknow 
Me;Wel l
.Ihaveaproposi
ti
onforyou.I
nf acti
t’
s
anewdeal alt
oget
her.Iwantyoutohandov er
LesothotoSA.Youarenotevenintheleastbi
t
worthytobePresi
dent 
Hi
m;say
swho 
Me;
Say
sme 
Him;well
sinceyouar
eall
thewayinSA.I
guessIam goi
ngtohavet
odecl
ineyourof
fer
Me;youhav e2secondst
omakey ourdeci
sion.
Aft
erthatIstar
tset
ti
ngupyourcountr
yin
fl
ames
Hi
m;y
ouwoul
dn’
tdar
e 
Me;
don’
ttr
yme 
Hi
m;Idecl
i
ne 
Me;Ok.Wellinthatcasesaygoodby
etoyour
count
ry.Becausesoonallthaty
ouwil
lhav
elef
t
i
snothingbutflames.

Ihungupanddeci dedtogivemeanhourt otr

y
andcal lmeback,butnothing.SoIhadnoot her
choicebuttomakegoodonmyt hreat
.SoI
releasedthefi
rstsetofbombs, thatwere
placedcloseenought ohispalaceforhimto
hear ,
andjustoncue, Ir
eceivedacall

Me;
soIseey
ouhav
ehadachangeofmi
nd 
Hi
m;Youfucki
ngass.Howcouldyoudot hi
sto
mycount
ry?Youareki
ll
i
nginnocentpeopl
e
whohadnothi
ngtodowitht
his 
Me;thesamewayyoukil
l
edmyuncl e?Orthe
samewayy ouandNal
ediki
l
ledal
lthosepeople
wit
hdrugs 
Him;youbett
erbackoffNdhl
ovu.Iam t
ell
i
ng
youthi
sonce.Stayawayfr
om mypeoplebefor
e
t
hingsgetbad 
Me;thi
ngshav ealr
eadygottenbad.NowIhav e
email
edy outhedocumentIwantsi gned.You
have5mi nutestosi
gnitandreturnitbefor
eI
bomboutt herestofyourcount
ry.I’
llhav
ethis
motherf
uckingplacel
ookingli
keRwandabyt he
endoftheday .
 
Hi
m;y
ouf
ucki
ngass
Me;
tickt
ockt
ickt
ockMrPr
esi
dent

Iendedourcall
andtol
dmyment
ohol
dof
fon
rel
easi
ngmor ebombs.
 
IgavePresi
dentTau5minut
es,andhehadmy
docs,si
gnedin5soIknowthatthi
s.Wasmy
day

Nowt heonl yreasonImadehi m si

gncopies,as
becauseIknewt hatIwouldhavetoseehimt o
signtheor i
ginal
s.Butthi
swor kedasasignof
goodf ait
h.SoIal l
Ineedednowwasf orHl okes
togett hecarready

Me;
Bul
l
et.Gett
hecarr
eady
. 
Hi
m;Ar
ewegoi
ngsomewher
e 
Me;yes.Iam goi
ngt
othepal
ace.Iwantt
o
meetwithTau 
Hi
m;i
sthatagoodi
dea?
Me;y
es.Iwanttheorigi
nal
s,sowecangett
he
f
uckoutofher
e, andIcangetbackt
omy
f
amil
y 
Hi
m;Iheart
hat
.Butdon’
tyout
hinkweshoul
d
sl
owdownabit
 
Me;
no,
Iwantt
ost
ri
kewhi
l
eit
’shot
 
Hi
m;ok 
Me;gettheteam tostar
tpacki
ng.Oncet
he
ori
ginal
saresigned.Iwantt
odisl
ocatet
he
bombsandf lyoutofhereASAP
Hi
m;woul
dyoul
i
kemet
ogett
heHel
iready
t
oo 
Me;
please.
 
Hi
m;cool
.

Bull
etdidasasked, andwel ef
tforthepalace.
Hei nsi
stedonuswear ingbull
etproofvests.
Whi chIthoughtwasstupid.Thi
smanknows
he’slost
, butf
orthesakeofpeace, Igavebull
et
thepeaceofmi ndherequir
ed,andputont he
vest.

Wel
eftt
hef
arm andheadedt
othepal
ace,
and
j
ustasexpect
edpr
esi
dentTauwasr
eadyand
wai
ti
ngforus

Me;Pr
esi
dentTau.Fi
nal
l
ywehav
ecomet
oan
agr
eement
 
Hi
m;her
e 
Me;
thanky
ou.

Il
ookedt
hrought
hedocumentandi
twas
i
ndeedsi
gnedandst
amped.

Me;whythanky
ou.Ithasbeenapl
easur
edoi
ng
busi
nesswit
hyou 
Hi
m;di
sabl
ethebombs
Me;
Iwi
l
l.Butf
ir
stIneedt
ogetbackt
oSA.
 
Hi
m;It
houghtwehadadeal
Me;
wedo.Buty
ouhav
etogetont
hef
ir
stf
li
ght
outofLesotho,
andIneedtogetbackt
oSA.
Oncethat’
sdonethenIdi
sabl
ethebombs 
Hi
m;(
sigh)
Me;don’
tbebl
ue.Manyhav
etr
ied,
andmany
hav
efail
ed.
 
Hi
m;y
ouar
ear
rogant
 
Me;
nonotr
eal
l
y.I
’
mjustt
ir
edoft
heBul
l
shi
t

Iwalkedtowar
dsthedoor,andnoticedthat
somet hi
ngwasn’
tri
ght.Il
ookedatBulletandhe
knewt hesame.Whatpuzzlesmei showBullet
pull
edoutagun,andshotrightatmydi r
ecti
on.
Inthatmomentall
Iknewt hatthi
swasaset
up. 
Thebullethi
tmeonmyneckandallIr
emember
i
sf al
li
ngtothegr
oundwonder
ingwhythemanI
tr
ustedsomuchwouldbetr
aymelikehejust
di
d.
[
05/
16,
18:
59]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
192

It
’sbeenmorethanamonth,ofmenotseei
ng
orevenspeaki
ngtoSi
ya.Iwasnow14weeks,
andbothBoniandIwer
estarti
ngt
oget
worri
ed.
 
Shetri
edHlokesamilli
onti
mesaday ,
andwe
sti
l
lheardnothi
ng.Evennai
lswasn’
tavai
labl
e
andthatal
onescaredthehell
outofme. 
Ihadanappointmentwithmydoctort
oday,
soI
deci
dedtostopworryi
ngandgol ookatmy
baby.Hopef
ull
yseeingthebabywouldmake
meal otl
esstense.

Iarr
ivedatt
hedoct orandasIknew,mybaby
wasgr owi
ng.He/ shewashealthyandwas
overal
ldoi
nggr eat.Itookmypil
lsfr
om t
he
doctorandlef
ttogobackhome.  
ImadesurethatIhadanalbum ofal
lmyscans
whi
leSiyawasaway .Iwant
edtomakesur ehe
di
dn’
tfeell
ikehemissedoutonany t
hing.
 
WhenIar r
ivedbackhomeInoticedafewcars
outsi
de,andimmediatel
ygotexcit
ed.Ihoped
thatt
hiswouldbeSiya.

Ir
aninsideandfoundSiy
a’smotherandHlokes
si
tt
ingintheli
vi
ngroom.Igreet
edthem and
l
ookedatHlokes.Forsomereasonthelooki
n
hi
seyesscaredme

Me;
Hlokes.Wher
eisSi
ya 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Iwasj
ustt
ell
i
ngMaNdhl
ovu 
Me;
tel
l
ingherwhat
Hi
m;Ahm (
clear
sthr
oat
)Ri
fi
loe.I
’
m sor
ry.But
 
Me;
No
IgotoutmychairbecauseIf
eltl
i
keitwas
burni
ngme.Thiscouldn’
tberi
ght.Si
yawasf
ine.
hehadtobe

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Wewereattheveryendoft
he
mi
ssi
on,butt
hingsj
ustwentlef
t
Me;
NOHl
oke.NO.
 
Hi
m;I
’
m sosor
ry 
Me;
getoutmyhouse 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;No.getout.Howdareyoubr
ingthat
nonsensei
nmyhouse?Si y
aisfi
ne.Heis
cominghome.Hewi l
lcomehome.Nothi
ngy
ou
saywill
change

Istar
tedshaki
nguncont
rol
l
ably
, 
Hlokeshel
d
ontomeandImel t
ed.Myworstni
ghtmarehad
fi
nall
ybecomeareal.Si
yawasgone. 
Iscreamedsohar d,t
ryi
ngtogetri
dofthepai
nI
wasf eeli
ng.Mywholeli
fehadjustcome
crumblingdownonme.Ihadl osttheone
personwhonev ergaveuponme.AndGod
knowshowIwant edthi
stowork 
Idon’
tremembermuchofwhathappenedaf
ter
that
.AllIknowisIwokeupi
nmybed,wit
hmy
auntandmot heri
nlawbymysi
de

Il
ookedatmyauntandstar
tedcry
ingal
lov
er
agai
n.Si
yawasgone,andnothi
ngIcoul
ddo
woul
dbringhi
m back.
 
Myauntsatont hebedwi thmeandj ustletme
cry.IwishedIcouldfeelt
hecryinghelp,butit
wasn’ t
.Inst
eadmyhear twasheav y.AllI
want edwast oseemyhusband.Iwant edhim
home.Iwant edhim withmychildren.Iwanted
myhusbandhome.Iwant edtotellhi
m about
thebundl eofjoyt
hatIwascar r
y i
ng. 
Howcoul
dthi
shappennow.Howcoul
dSi
ya
l
eavemenowwhenIneededhi
mthemost?
HowwasIsupposedt
obri
ngupourchi
l
dren
wi
thoutaf
ather
? 
Al
ltheset
hought
sjustpouredouti
nmyhear
t.
Mybestfr
iendwasgone. 
Icriedandcriedti
ll
Ihadnomor etear
stocr
y.I
wasact ual
lyinthemidstoft
hestorm,andI
didn’tknowhowIwasgoi ngtogetthr
oughi
t
withoutSiya.
 
Healway
sknewwhatt
odoorsay
.AndnowI
hadnoone.
 
Il
ookedupatMaNdhlov uandsherefl
ectedmy
pai
n.Shehadjustl
osttheonepersonwhoshe
l
ovedbeyondmeasure.Itookherhandandwe
bot
hcriedatt
helossthatwehadt oface.

Bytheti
meeveni
ngcame,MaNdhl
ovuwentt
o
getussomet
hingt
oeat.
Myauntl
ookedatmewi
thsuchpi
tyi
tbr
oke
me 
Her;i
tsgoingtobeokRifi
l
oe.Iknowt
hati
t
doesn’
tlookli
keitnow,
butitwil
l

Ij
ustnoddedandtri
edfi
gur
ingoutwhat
coul
d’v
ehappened,whenIr
ememberedthatI
di
dn’
tev enaskHl
okes

Me;
aunt
y.Wher
eisLehl
ohonol
o 
Her
;Hei
swi
thBoni
swa 
Me;
Ineedt
ospeakt
ohi
m
Her
;Il
lgethi
m

Shewalkeddownstai
rs,
whileIt
ri
edtohol
d
backmyt ear
s.Hl
okeswalkedinwit
hherand
satnextt
ome
Hi
m;Howar
eyouhol
dingup 
Me;
Idon’
tknow
Hi
m;Iam sor
ryr
if
il
oe.
 
Me;
whathappened 
Hi
m;I
t’
sal
ongst
ory
,buthewasshot
 
Me;
bywho 
Hi
m;oneoft
heguar
dsI
nLesot
ho 
Me;
wher
eishi
sbody
Hi
m;atamor
tuar
yinSout
hAf
ri
ca 
Me;
Hlokest
ell
mewhathappened
Hi
m; r
estf
ir
st.Wecant
alkaboutal
loft
hat
l
ater
 
Me;whathappenedt
otheper
sont
hatki
l
led
hi
m 
Hi
m;Iki
l
ledhi
m.
Me;(Snif
f)IwantmyhusbandbackHl
okes.
Whyisthi
shappeningt
ome?Whathav eIdone
i
nmyl i
fethatGodwoul
dwantt
opuni
shmet
o
suchanextent
? 
Hi
m; i
tsallgoingt
obef
ineRi
fi
loe.Wi
tht
imei
t
wi
llgeteasier
Me;HowHlokes?Siy
aisgone.Iam pr
egnant
wi
thourchi
ld.AndIwil
lhav
etobringthem up
al
lbymysel
f.Tell
mehowt hat
’sok 
Hi
m;Iknowy
ou’rehurt
ingRi
fi
loe.Soam I
.but
i
nti
mewewillhavetol
etgo

Hegavemeahugandlef
ttogoandar
rangef
or
al
lofust
odepar
tforSA.

Ihadmydinnerwi
thMaNdhl
ovuwhi
l
emyaunt
l
ookedaf
tertheki
ds.
 
Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngweal lf
lewbacktoSout
h
Afr
ica.Il
efttheai
rportandwentstr
aightt
othe
Mortuary
.IwantedtoseeSi y
a.Iwantedto
makesur ethati
twashi minther
e,butwhenwe
arr
ivedIwast oldIcoul
dn’tseehim.Therewas
aguar dther
eandhehadbeengi venstri
ct
i
nstructi
onsbyourgov ernmentnottoletme
seehi m.Apparentl
ySiya’
sfacewasbadl y
scarredandhehadgi venstri
cti
nstr
uctionst
hat
Iwasnott oseehimi nthatstat
e.

Il
eftandwenthomef eeli
ngdef eated.I
fonlyI
knewthatIwouldret
urntoSAwi thouta
husband,
Iwould’v
einsist
edt hatIstayhere
wit
hhim.ButnowIhadnochoi cebuttotryand
workoutafut
urealonewi t
hSi yaandLor d
knowsthatwasnotsomet hingIlookedforward
to
[
05/
16,
19:
00]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

193

WhenIar
ri
vedhome,
theguar
dswer
ehel
ping
mymot herinl
awremov esomeofourf
urnit
ure
from myroom.Al
lthatwaslef
twasamat t
ress
thatIwouldbesi
tt
ingonformymourni
ng
peri
od. 
Looki
ngatmymot herinl
awbrokeme.she
l
ookedli
keshehadagedami l
l
ionyear
ssince
wefoundoutaboutSiy
a. 
Itookherhandandledhert
ooneoft
hespar
e
bedrooms,andcl
osedthedoor

Me;
Ma
Her
;yesdear
 
Me;youcan’
tleavemet
oo.Youar
emyonl
y
connect
iont
oSi y
a 
Her
;makot
iwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
 
Me;ma.Youhaven’
ttakenamomentt
oeven
br
eathe.Youhav
en’
teatenandy
ouarefor
ever
onyourfeet
 
Her;
I’
mf i
neKot
i.Letmegoandfi
nish
pr
epari
ngyourr
oom bef
orepeopl
estartar
ri
vi
ng.

Shetr
iedwal
ki
ngawaybutIhel
dont
oherhand
gent
ly

Me;
Ma
Her
;No 
Me;He’sgoneMa.Ther
eisnot
hingwecando
abouti
t 
Her
;letgo

Inst
eadoflett
inggo,Iputmyarmsaroundher
andjusthel
dhertil
lshefinal
l
yputherguard
down.Itabsol
utel
ybrokemet oseeherli
kethi
s,
butIwasmor eworri
edabouthernotgri
eving.
 
Westay
edt
oget
herf
orawhi
l
e,t
il
lwebr
okeour
hug
Me;Idon’
tknowhowwear
egoi
ngt
oget
t
hroughthi
sMa. 
Her
;wewi
l
lhav
etot
akei
tonest
epatat
ime
Me;Imisshi
m somuchMa.Ij
ustwi
shIcoul
d
seehi
m.Theywontl
etme 
Her
;whynot
 
Me;Idon’
tknow.apparent
lyhegave
i
nst
ructi
onsthatshoul
dhebehur tbadl
y,t
hat
wearenottoseehim
Her
;sohowdot
heyexpectust
obur
yhi
m
Me;Idon’tknowMa.Thi
sisal
lj
ustso
conf
using 
Her
;wewi
l
lneedt
ospeakt
oHl
okesaboutt
his.
 
Me;
He’
sdownst
air
s
Her
;come
Wewalkeddownhandi nhandandf oronce,
si
ncefi
ndingoutaboutSi
ya,If
eltabitbett
er.
Hi
smot her’
swarmthwasn’tev
erythi
ng,butat
l
easti
twassomet hi
ng.
WhenwegottoSi
ya’
soff
ice,
wefoundHl
okes
andNai
lst
her
e.Il
etgoofMaNdhl
ovuandwent
togi
venai
l
sahug

Him;I’
m sorr
yIfai
l
edy
oumam.Thi
sshoul
d’
ve
neverhappened

Myeyesstart
edtowater
,andt
hel
umpi
nmy
t
hroatbecamelar
ger
.

Me;
Itsnoty
ourf
aul
tNai
l
s. 
Hl
okes;
Itsnoonesf
aul
t
Me;
That
’st
rue.
Isatatt
het
abl
ewi
thMaNdhl
ovuandHl
okes
andNail
s

Hlokes;I
’m sur
et hi
sisstr
essf
ulfory
ou,butwe
needt ost
artprepari
ngthedet
ail
sforthe
funeral
 
Me;
Nott
il
lI’
veseenhi
sbody
 
Hlokes;I
’m sor
ryRi
fi
loe.Butt
hatwon’
tbe
possibl
e 
Me;
andwhynot
 
Hlokes;Rif
il
oe.Ma.Therearethingsthat
happenedt hatwerebeyondourcontrol.
Unfort
unatelySiyawashurtrat
herbadlyallover
hisbody.Itwasal way
shisrequestthatshould
somet hi
ngoft hatmagnit
udehappent ohim
thatweensur ethathi
sfamil
ydonotseehi m
l
ikethat
Me;
wel
lIst
il
lwantt
oseehi
m Hl
okes.
 
Hi
m;Iknowbuti
t’
sinhi
swi
l
l.Icannotgo
agai
nsti
t 
Me;
sohowwi l
lweknowt
hatwear
ebur
ying
t
heri
ghtbody
 
Hi
m;Iwi
l
lmakesur
e
Me;Ij
ustwantt
oseehim onelastti
meHlokes.
Iwantt
oholdhi
shand.Justonelastti
me
Hi
m;Iknowbutri
ghtnowt
hat
’snotanopt
ion.
Hi
swil
liscl
ear
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;Iknowthi
sisdi
ff
icul
t.ButIhav
etof
oll
ow
hi
sor
der.Ev
enifhei
snotalive 
Me;
Iunder
stand 
Hi
m;youwil
lhaveafewvisi
tor
stomor r
ow.
Mai
nlyt
hepresi
dentandsomemi ni
ster
s 
Me;
whatt
ime 
Hi
m;about9am 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;YourlawyerandSiya’
sLawyerwi
llbehere
i
naboutanhourtodiscusshi
slastwi
shes,and
t
ogoov erhi
sestat
e 
Me;
can’
tthatwai
tti
l
lthef
uner
ali
sov
er 
Hi
m;Nonotr
eal
l
y.Thi
sisal
laccor
dingt
oSi
ya’
s
wi
shes
Me;
Ok 
Hi
m;onel
astt
hing 
Me;
what
 
Hi
m;Li
ndawant
sOl
wet
hoback 
Me;
overmydeadbody
 
Hi
m; Iknow.Butshei
sonherwayf
rom
Fr
ance. 
Me;
mxm 
Hi
m;y
ouwi
l
lneedt
otoughenupabi
tRi
fi
loe.
 
Me;youbett
erli
stent
omeHl okes.Andli
sten
car
eful
ly
.OlwethoisMYson.Lindahasnor i
ght
tohi
m aft
ernearl
ykil
l
inghi
m.Ifshesetsfootin
myhouseIwi
l
lkil
lher
.Donott
ryme.Ol
wet
ho
i
sgoi
ngnowhere

Hl
okesl
ookedatmeshocked

Hi
m;ok 
Me;
good

Wewrappedupourmeet
ing,
becauseour
l
awy
ersarri
ved.
 
Igreet
edt
hem andl
edt
hem t
othedi
ning
room. 
IsatnexttoMaNdhlov
uwhi
l
eHl
okesandNai
l
s
excusedthemsel
ves.

Mylawyerwasj
ustther
etomakesur
e
ever
ythi
ngwasok,butmostoft
het
alki
ngwas
donebySiy
a’sl
awyer
Him;MrsNdhl
ovu.Letmestarbysay
ingIam
sosorr
yaboutwhatyouar
egoingthr
ough
Me;Thanky
ou.ButIam nol
ongerMr
sNdhl
ovu.
I
t’
sMissMokoena 
Him;aboutthat
.(Cl
earst
hroat)MrNdhlov
u
askedmet oensureyouIgaveyouthi
sbefor
e
weproceed.

Hegav
emeanenv
elope,
whi
chIopened
i
mmediat
ely
. 
If
oundouror
igi
nalmarr
iagecert
if
icat
einther
e.
Iwasabi
tconfused,
soIlookedupathis
l
awyer
 
Hi
m;Ther e’
salett
erinthereexpl
aini
ng
ev
eryt
hing.Butbasical
l
yy outwowerenev
er
di
vor
ced 
Me;what
?How?Irecei
vedt
hedi
vor
cedecr
ee
f
rom mylawy
er,
Hi
m; Iknow.I
twasfake.MrNdhl
ovuonl
ydi
d
t
hatsoy oucoul
dhavepeaceofmind

Il
ookedatmymar ri
agecer
ti
fi
cat
eandsmi l
ed.I
honestl
ydidn’
tknowwhyIthoughtSiy
awould
everagreetodi
vorcemeinthefi
rstpl
ace.
 
Iclosedtheenvel
opeandmadeanot
etor
ead
thelett
erinpr
ivat
e.

Hi
m; Sosinceyouwer ebothmarri
edinCOP.He
l
eftever
ythi
ngtoy ou.Ndhlov
uCorp,His
pr
operti
es,vehi
cles,andboatsy
ounamei t
.it
’s
al
lyours

Me;Iwishthi
swouldall
bri
nghi
m back.I
’
dgi
ve
i
tal
ljusttohavehi
m home 
Hi
m;Hedidhoweverl
eaveatr
ustfor
MaNdhl
ovuseni
orandeachofhi
stwochi
l
dren 
Me;
ok 
Hi
m;onemor
ethi
ng
Me;
whati
sit
 
Hi
m;Heaskedthaty
oul ett
hechi
ldr
enl
i
vewit
h
hi
smother
.Hewantsy outomoveonwi
thy
our
l
if
eassoonaspossi
ble 
Me; hemust
’vebeenoutofhismindwhenhe
putthati
nhi
swi l
l.Si
yawouldnev
erandImean
everwantmetobewi thanot
herman
Him;Iknowitsoundsbazarbutheknewhow
dangeroushi
sjobwas,anditwashiswishf
or
youtobehappy. 
Me;
Sigh 
Hi
m;itwassomethi
nghewi
shedf
or,
buty
ou
ar
enotcompel
led

Il
ookedatMaNdhlovuandwebothshookour
head.Si
yawashonestl
ythebi
ggestcont
rol
f
reak.Hewasdead,
andy
ethewasst
il
ltel
l
ing
mehowt ol
iv
emyl i
fe

Wef i
nishedourmeet i
ngandt helawyersl
eft
.I
haddinnerwit
ht hefamil
y ,
andwentt ospend
somet imewit
hmychi l
dren.Olwethofel
lasl
eep
i
nmyar mswhi l
ewel ayont hemattr
esswhil
eI
readthem astory.
 
Itookhi mtohisroom, andl ayLesedi i
nhercot .
Lookingatthem brokemyhear t
.Theybot h
l
ookedsomuchLi keSiy a.andy ettheirfather
thoughtIwouldwantt oshi pthem offt oKZN
whileImov edon.Idon’ tunder standwhySi ya
wouldt hi
nkIwouldev erwantt obewi t
h
anotherman.Hewasi t
.hewasmysoul mate
andt hethoughtofli
v i
ngwi thouthi m scaredme,
butnotasmuchast het houghtofhav i
ng
anothermani nmybed.

Iwal
kedbackt
omyr
oom andopenedt
he
env
elopet
hathi
slawy
ergav
eme

Isatont
hemat
tr
ess,
andr
ead

Mydear
estRi
fi
loe.
 
Youhav
eyetanot
herl
ett
erf
rom me.
Letmest artbyfir
stexplaini
ngt hatIam sorry
aboutlyi
ngaboutt hedivorce.Iknowi t’swhat
youwant ed,butthethoughtofl osi
ngy ou
scaredmet oomuch.SoIhadmyl awy ersdaft
andgivey ouafakedecr ee.Itr
iedstayingaway
butIlovedyouf artoomucht ot rul
yev erl
etyou
go.Butluckyformedeat hcameear l
y.Nowy ou
wil
lbeabl etohav ethel
ifeIsobadl ywant edto
giv
ey ou. 
Nowletmet el
ly ouaboutsomethi
ng.Il
oveyou.
Morethananythingandthethoughtofl
eavi
ng
youbreaksme, butIknowwithmyjobit
s
alway
sapossibi l
it
y. 
SoIleavey
ouwit
hLesediandOl
wet
ho.They
wi
llbri
ngyout
hejoyIf
ail
edtogi
vet
oyou. 
Rifi
loedonotcr yov
erme.Iwouldbet oo
displeased.Youhavecr
iedbecauseofmef ar
toomanyt i
mes.Noitsti
mey oustopandyou
mov eonwi t
hyourl
if
e. 
Iwil
llookdownandwi
l
lal
way
sbet
her
eto
prot
ectyou. 
Promi
semey ouwillt
akecareofourfamil
yand
mymother.Iworr
yabouther,butIknowwit
h
youbei
ngaround,youwi
llbothcarr
yeachother
andmaybeonedaywewi llbeunit
edagai
n

Il
ovedyoutomyv
eryl
astbr
eat
h.Nev
erev
er
doubtt
hat
 
Lov
eSi
ya
[
05/
16,
19:
02]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
194

Theweekpassedbyr
atherqui
ckly
.Ispent
mostoft
heweekonthemat tr
ess.
 
Wedi dn’
thavemucht
opreparef
orthefuneral
,
becauseSiyawoul
dbegett
ingastat
efuneral.
Soeverythi
ngwoul
dbetakencar
eofbyt he
government.
 
Lindaarr
ivedy
ester
day ,
butforsomer eason
shewasonherbestbehav iour
.Iletherstayat
theapart
mentthatSi
y ahadbought .Hl
okes
thoughti
twasabadi dea,butshewas
Olwetho’
smotheraft
erall.
 
Thecloseritgott oSat ur
dayt heworseIfelt
.
Especiall
ysinceIknewt hatIwouldneversee
Siy
aagai n.Everyt i
meIcl osedmyey es,Ikept
onthinkingabouthi slett
er,aboutour
rel
ati
onshipandt hefactthatwespentsomuch
ofourt i
mear guing,wheni nfactweshoul d’
ve
spentittogether
.Maki ngmemor iesandto
makethingsworse,t
heywoul
dn’tletmeseehi
s
body.I
fIcould,t
henmaybeIcouldcometo
accept
ingthathewasgone.
 
Hl
okesontheotherhandwastotall
yfi
dget
y.I
wi
shhewouldjuststopmovingaroundandtel
l
methetr
uthaboutwhathappenedtoSiya.
 
Insteadhewasal loverthepl acetryi
ngtomake
suret hateveryoneknewwhatwasexpect edof
them.Iknowwewer en’
tt ogetheranymore,
butI
caredabouthi m.Hewassupposedt obe
mour ninghi
sfriend,butinsteadhewas
avoidi nganytopicthatev encamecl osetoSiy
a
orhi sdeath.

Idecidedtoratherignorehim andtrymour ni
ng
Siya.WhichImi ghtaddwasn’ tworkinginmy
favour.Iwantedt otel
lhim somanyt hings.I
want edtoseehi sfacewhenIt ol
dhi m Iwas
pregnant.Andthef actthatIcoul
dn’tdot hat
brokemei ntoami l
li
onpieces
Wakingupthemor ningoft hefuneralwasthe
worstdayofmyl i
fe.Si
y a’sbodywoul donl
ybe
ar
ri
v i
ngatthetimeofthef uner
al.Si
nceSiya
washav i
ngast at
efuner alwewer en’
tbury
ing
hi
mi nKZNi nst
eadwewoul dbebur i
edherei
n
JHBatthest at
ecemet ery.
Igotupandwenttotakeashower .Iwast
ryi
ng
hardnott
of r
eakout
,butIcouldfeelt
hatt
oday
wasnotgoingtobemyday .Howwasi t
possi
blet
hatIwastrul
ysayinggoodbyeto
Siy
a. 
Ihadsatthroughhi smemor ialserviceand
somehowmanagednott odie.ButtodayIjust
didn’
tknowi fIwasgoi ngtobeabl et osee
them putsandov erhiscoffi
n.Isati nthe
showercryingathowmuchev erything
remindedmeofSi ya.From t
hisv eryshower,To
hisfavour
it
espoon.Howonear t
hwasIev er
goingtoli
vewi t
houthi m?
Igotouttheshowerandgotdressedinall
black.
Idi
dn’tr
eallycar
eabouthowIl ooked,
butmy
motherinlawhadinsist
edthatImakeanef f
ort.
Soshehadmadesur esheboughtmeabl ack
sui
tdresswi t
hamat chi
nghat.
 
Aft
erget
ti
ngdr
ess,
Iwentdownst
air
stosee
howthi
ngswer
egoing.
 
Myaunthadbathedt
heki
dsandtheywere
al
readydr
essedandwer
eeat
ingbreakf
ast
. 
Thehousewasnowf il
l
edt ocapacit
y.Myaunts,
uncles,ever
yone.Igr
eet edthem anddi
tched
breakfast
.Ijustf
eltl
ikeev er
yonewasmaki ng
mewal koneggshell
sinmyownhouse.  
Ij
ustwant
edev
ery
oneout
,andIwant
edSi
ya
home 
Iwentbackupst
air
s,andaskedmyauntt
ocal
l
mewheni twasti
met ol
eave. 
Isatonmybed,
andf
oroncej
ustbr
eat
hed,
thi
s
wasgoingt
obeajour
neythatIwashonest
ly
notr
eadytomakeal
one.
 
Idi
dn’thearmyMoherinlawwal
kin.Iwasso
zonedoutthatIonl
yhear
dherwhensheput
herhandsaroundme

Her
;Makot
i,I
tst
ime

Il
ookedupatherandshookmyhead,
andt
ear
s
fi
l
ledmyeyes.

Me;
Idon’
tknowi
fIcandot
his 
Her;
youneedt
oMakot
i.Wecannotpr
olongi
t
anyl
onger
 
Me;
giv
emeami
nut
e 
Her;
thepr
eacherhasar
ri
ved,
alongwi
thSi
ya’
s
body
Me;
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)I’
l
lbet
her
einami
nut
e
Itookami nut
etobreat
h.Thiswasi t
.Thi
swas
thedaythatIhadbeendreadingeversi
nceIfel
l
i
nl ov
ewi t
hhim.Thedayt hatIwouldhavet
o
saygoodby et
ohim.

Iwalkeddownst ai
rsandweleftf
orthechurch.I
satthrought heproceedi
ngsanddidmybest
nottocr y
.Iwasgi ventheopport
uni
tytospeak,
butIdeclined.Inst
eadIhadmyauntr eadout
whatIwant edt osay 
Aft
erthechurch,
wemov edov ert
othe
cemetery
.Isawthem puthiminthegr
oundand
watchedashiscasketwentdown. 
Ther
einthatmomenti
swhenIknewthatmy
l
if
ewouldneverbet
hesameagain.
 
Si
yawasgoneandt
her
eisn’
tany
thi
ngIcoul
d
doabouti
t
[
05/
16,
19:
03]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory
195

Theday safterSiya’
sfuneralwerethehardest
ever.Botharefami l
i
esst ar
tedleav
ingoneaf t
er
theother.Theempt ierthehousegot,the
heaviermyhear tbecame.Ihadnow
experiencedafullweekwi t
houthim andit
tot
allybrokemyhear t
.

Icri
edmysel
fmostnightstosleep.Lesedihad
becomesoattachedtohergrandmother,which
l
eftmewithalotofspearti
me. 
Itri
edreadingbooks, anddoingyogabutnone
ofthatshitwashelping.InsteadIcr
avedhis
touchnowmor ethanev er.I’
dgiv
eanythi
ngto
hearhisvoice.Hell
ev enifitmeanthewas
shouti
ngatme.I ’dtakeit.
IthoughtIwoul datl eastseehimi nmydr eams
butsomehowi tlooksl ikehehasdeser tedme
event her
e.I’
vedr eamtofbot hmypar ents
before,butSiyanot hing.Isometimeswakeup
andf eell
ikeheisi nbed, buttheminuteIopen
myey es,
Ireali
sehei sgone.Iguessit’sa
bl
essi ngthatI’
m pregnant ,
becauseIknowt hat
Iwoul dbedr i
nki
ngmy selftosl
eep.

MaNdhlovuhasbeenhinti
ngthatmaybewe
shoul
dstartgi
vi
ngawaySi ya’
sclot
hesand
someofhisbelongi
ngs,butIfl
atoutr
efused.
 
Imayhaveburi
edhim, butIam notreadyt
olet
go.Iwanthi
sscent.Ishowerwithhisshower
gel
,andthi
nkofthetimeswear gued,andmade
upinthi
sshower.

Igodownst
air
sandf i
ndMaNdhl ovuandthe
Chi
ldr
ensti
l
lfastasleep.Iheadtotheki
tchen
andstar
tmakingbreakfast.Todaywasexact
ly
2weekssi
nceIhadsai
dgoodby
etoSi
ya.
 
Iwasst art
ingtohavearouti
neagain.Today
wasLesedi ’sf
ir
stdayatpreschool
.Wedi dn’
t
real
lygettocelebr
ateherbir
thdaysinceSiya
wasn’taround.ButMaNdhov ubakedacake
nyanawesangf or
. 
Ispentmostofherbirthdaycryinginmyroom.I
j
ustfeltsolost
.IwantedSiyat oseeour
chi
ldrengrowup.Ithurtmet oknowt hatLesedi
wouldnevergettoseeherf atheragai
n. 
Ifi
nishmakingbreakfastandgot owake
everyoneoneup.IputOlwet hoandLesedi
in
thebath,andbat
ht hem together
. 
Li
ndaandIhadf i
nal
lyhadawomant owoman
di
scussionaboutOlwetho,andwecamet oan
agreementthatshewouldbeabletovi
sithi
m,
butthathewouldstaywithme.Especi
all
ysince
Ipull
edoutmychequebookandmadei twor t
h
herwhile.
Afterbat
hingthekidsandgett
ingthem dr
essed,
servedbreakf
ast,
andt hendr
ov et
hem to
school.
 
IstartedwithOlwet ho,whowasinsist
ingt
hatI
walkhi m onl
yt othegat e.Hedi
dn’
twantus
walkinghimi n.appar entl
yhewastoobigfor
that.Ohandnoki ssinghiminfr
ontofhis
fri
ends. 
ThenIdroppedLesedioffadday -
care.Iwas
rat
hernervousasi
twasherf irstday,but
somehow, shedi
dn’tev
encry .Herteacherhad
col
ourf
ul bal
li
nherhandwhi chdistract
edher
asIwalkedaway. 
Isatinmycarandsmi l
ed.Whatt hehellwasI
goingtodoalldaywi thoutthekids?Ihonestl
y
thi
nkIneedt ofindajob, butyetsinceI’
m
pregnant,
Ican’
tst ar
twor kingandt henbe
absentforanothersixmont hs.May beit
’sbestI
waitti
llaf
tert
hebabyi sborn 
Idr
ovebackhomel
i
steni
ngt
other
adi
o.Iused
Siy
a’sj
eep,andbei
ngini
tsomehowgaveme
somesortofcomfort
.Ev
enifi
twasj
ustfora
moment

Idr
oveinandsawt
hatHl
okeswashere.I
wal
kedinandwebumpedheadsbecausehe
washeadi
ngout

Ohsorryaboutt
hat
,Isai
dasIr
ubbedmy
for
ehead
Nowor
ri
es 
Youl
eav
ingal
ready
? 
Yes-Ij
ustcamet
omakesur
eal
lthecamer
as
wereinorder
 
Me;
ok

Il
ookedatHl
okesandIpi
ckedupsomet
hing
wasn’
tri
ght
Me;
Hlokes.What
’swr
ong?
 
Hi
m;not
hing 
Me;
tryagai
n
Hi
m;Iwasj
ustl
eav
ing

Hetri
edwal
ki
ngpassedmebutInot
icedt
hat
hehadsomethi
ngIhi
shand

Me;
what
’st
hat
 
Hi
m;not
hing 
Me;
itcan’
tbenot
hingi
fit
’si
nyourhand 
Hi
m;It’
sjustsomedocument
sIneededf
rom
Si
ya’
sstudy 
Me;
whatdocument
s

Het
ookouthi
sphonef
rom hi
spocketand
answer
ed

Hi
m;I
’
vegott
orun 
Me;
we’
rei
nthemi
ddl
eofaconv
ersat
ion 
Hi
m;by
e

Hlokeswal
kedpassedmeandanswer shi
s
phoneasheleaves.Idon’
tknowwhatitis
abouthi
m,butsomet hi
ngwasn’tr
ight
.Hewas
j
usttoofi
dgetyf
ormyl iki
ng.Mxa

*
***
***
***
***
** 
HLOKES*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
*

Mebumpingint
oRif
il
oewasn’tt
hebestt
hing.I
meanhonest
lyi
fshehadseenthose
document
sshewould’
vef
li
pped.
Igotinmycaranddrovetotheai
rpor
t,and
drovetothesaf
ehouse.Iar
riv
edandfound
Siyaeati
nghisf
ood

Hi
m;di
dyougett
hem 
Me;
yes
Hi
m;phew….Howi
sshe?
Me;
She’
sthi
nksshe’
sburi
edy
ouGhost
.How
doy
outhi
nkshefeel
s? 
Hi
m;y
ouknowwhywehadt
odot
hisr
ight
?
Me;
yes.Ido.Igeti
t.ButSi
yashei
sdev
ast
ated 
Him;Iknow.Isati
nthecarasshecr
ied.You
thi
nkIdidn’
twanttoj
umpoutthecarandshout
surpr
ise?

Igavehi
m alookandjustgav
ehi
mthe
documentsheneeded.
Me;I’
m notgoi
ngbackt
her
eunti
lthi
sli
tt
lepl
an
ofyour
sisdone.ThemomentIl
ookatherIf
eel
l
ikeapol
ogisi
ng 
Hi
m;wel
li
tsy
ourf
aul
twear
eint
hismess.
 
Me;
fucknott
hisshi
tagai
n 
Him;it
’sthetr
uth.I
fyouandNai
lshadtoldme
aboutsuspecti
ngthesetup,
Iwoul
dn’thave
gonetoseeTau 
Me;
buty
ouknowwehadnochoi
ce 
Him;Iknow.nutf
uckifyoufucki
ngdo
somethingl
iket
hatagain,
Iam goingt
oki
l
lyou.
AndIwillmakesur
ey ouaredead
Me; yaya.Nowf orgoodnesssakes.Justt
ake
yourdamnpai nkil
l
ers.Andstopbeingthat
dramatic.Thatpul
ledlandedint
hesof t
est
placeinyourneck.Nxa

Si
yalookedupatmeandwentt
otakehispi
ll
s.I
smil
edathowhewasgett
ingsomad.Iknowhe
wasf
rustr
atedaboutthesit
uati
on.Buti
nthat
momentIhadnochoi cebuttomakepresi
dent
Taut
hinkthatIhadbetr
ayedhim.

SoIdi
dwhatIhadtodo.Ishothi
m, knowi
ng
ver
ywell
hewouldsur
vive.AndonceIhadTau
i
nmyhandsImadehim signthedeal.
 
Sotechnicall
yIsav edt heday, anddeepdown
heknowsIam r ight.AndGhostbei ngGhost
wouldnev eradmi tit,
butssincehei snow
off
ici
all
yresigned, andnoonei sl ookingforhim,
i
twi l
lbeaper fectoppor t
unityf orhim and
Rif
il
oetowal kof fintothesunset .Butf ir
sthe
needstoheal .Andhopef ull
yhewon’ ttel
lRif
il
oe
aboutwhatIdi dn’tbecauseIam 100%sur eshe
wouldnev erforgivemef orthis.
[
05/
16,
19:
03]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

196
Isi
tonmybedt odaysti
ll
wonderi
nghowI
madeitsofar
.Siya'
sbeengonefor6mont
hs
now,andil
ookmor eli
keawhil
ethanev
er.
 
MaNdhl
ovuhasbeent
her
eeverystepofthe
wayandLor
dknowshowgrat
efulIam t
ohav e
her
.

She'
sbeensocar ingandPati
entwi
thmy
hormones.IjustwonderhowIwoul
d'v
egot
ten
thr
oughallthisi
fitwasn'
tfor
.

Istandupandst artpacki
ngf orKZN.
MaNdhl ovui
nsistsonusper formingthe
cl
eansingceremonynow, beforeIgi
vebirt
h.I
tr
iedreasoni
ngwi thheelbutshewoul dn'
thear
i
t.Shekepttell
i
ngmehowIhadt ogetbac,to
myl i
fe.SoUNt heendIagr eed.Notthatit
makesdi f
fer
encei nmyl i
fe.ImeanSiy amaybe
gone,butI
'
m sti
l
lmour
ninghi
m.Andmebei
ng
cl
eansedistgoi
ngt
ochangethat
.

Isnapoutofmyday dr
eam asIheart
hebel
l
ri
nging.Iputmysl
i
ppersonandwaddle
downstairs.

MaNdhl ovuandt heki

dar eatthezoo, wi
ththe
nanny,soI'm al
one.Excludingthesecuri
ty.
WhichIst i
l
,don'tunderstand.ButHlokeshas
i
nsist
edt hattheystay.SoIjustlett
hem be.

Ianswert
hedoorandIf
indadel
iverman
standi
ngt
her
ewithahugebouquetoff
lower
s. 
Isignforthem andputthem inav ase.Idot
botherreadingthecard,becauseIalr
eadyknow
thattheyarefrom Jason.He'sbeensemdi ng
mef loweressinceSiya'
sdeath. 
Hesayast
heyar
etocheermeup,
and
sur
pri
singl
yitwor
ks.

Ipi
ckupt
hephoneanddi
alhi
m

Him:I'
m guessi
ngy
oul
i
ket
hef
lower
sIsent
you 
Me:
Ido.Thanky
ou
Hi
m:y
ouknowi
t'
sapl
easur
e. 
Me:
I'
vegotr
un.Ineedt
opack
Him:pack?It
houghtyouweren'tal
l
owedto
l
eavethehouse,
exceptfort
akingtheki
dst
o
school
 
Me:I
'm goi
ngtoKZN.I
tmycl
eansi
ngcer
emon
t
hisweekend
Nim:doesthatmeanthatyou'
l
lbeabl
etoget
backtoyourli
feaf
tert
his
Me:y
es.Buti
nall
honest
y,Idon'
tknowi
fI'
l
l
ev
ertr
ulymoveon
Hi
m:j
ustt
akei
tsl
owl
y.Onedayatat
ime
Me:thanky
ouJason.Forev
ery
thi
ng.You'
ve
beenanamazi
ngfri
end 
Hi
m:al
way
s

Iwrapupmyconv er
sati
onwi t
hhim,thengo
backupst ai
rsandst
artpacki
ng.Ipack5
dresses.Showlsanddoeks. 
Thenmovet
oLesedi
andOl
wet
ho'
sroomsand
packf
ort
hem t
oo.

OnceI 'm done.Igobackdownst ai

rsandcut
my selfyetanot herpieceofcakewithagl assof
mi l
k.Idon' tknowwhybutt hi
spregnancyhas
beenr athereasy .Ionlyhadabitofmor ni
ng
sickness,butonceIgott omysecondt rimester
Iwasf eelinglikemynor mal l
if
e.Exceptforthe
factthatIgav egai nedafli
ploadofweight .
Whi cIplanonl osi
ngassoonasIdr opthis
baby
.

Imust
'v
efal
lenasl
eeponthecouch,
becauseI
wokeupwit
hLesedit
appi
ngmyt ummy.

Ispoonedmyeyesandsmil
ed.Sheki
ssesmy
noseandimmediat
elyr
unst
oherbrother
.

Isi
tupandf
indMaNdhl
ovui
nspect
ingmy
fl
ower
s.

Her
:fr
om Jasonagai
n?
Me:
yesma.
Her
:thei
rbeaut
if
ul
Me:
howwast
hez
oo
Her
:fi
ne.Ihav
eaf
eel
i
ngt
heywi
l
lbeasl
eepi
n
not
ime 
Me:
thanky
ouf
ort
Aki
ngt
hem ma
Her
:sot
ell
meaboutt
hisJasonguy

Igi
veherani
nqui
sit
ivel
ook

Her:wel
lyourcl
eansi
ngcer
emonyiscomingup.
Oncethat
'sdoneyouneedt
ostartgoi
ngout
more.Maybeevenstar
tdat
ingagai
n

Il
ookatthi
swomanandwonderI
fther
eisn'
ta
scr
ewloose?

Me:
Ma.Iam notev
encl
osetobebei
ngr
eady
f
ort
hat
.I'
m 7monthspr
egnant
 
Her:Iknowthat
.Butoncethebabyarr
ivesy ou
needtodustyoursel
fof
fandenjoyyourli
fe
agai
n.Your26.Nearl
y27.Plusyouremember
whatSiyasai
dinhiswil
l.Hedoesn'
twanty ou
bei
ngl
onel
y.Youhav
etol
etgo.

Igetupandgotothekit
chen.Yes.I
,hungry,
andthi
sconver
sat
ionjustkeepsget
tingmor e
andmoreawkward.Sowhatbet t
erway,thanto
eat.

Theki dsgot obedthatnightwithgranny.While

IsitinSiya'
sclosetcryi
ngmyey esout.I
'
v etri
ed
sohar dtomov eon,butthefactthatIwon'tbe
seeinghim again.Iwouldhonest l
ydoany thi
ng.
Absol ut
elyanythi
ngtobei nhisarms.Instead
I'
m ont hefloorwit
hhisshirtinlap.

IgotobedwhenIhavenomeretear
s.Itakea
panado,
andsur
rendert
othedar
knessthat
fol
lowsmetomysleep
Wearr
ivei
nKZN,
andiam senttoSi
yasroom.
Hi
sfamil
yandmyfami
l
ydisagreedaboutme
beingcl
eansedinKZN.Butappar
entl
ythe
Ndhlovufamil
ycleanst
hei
rdaught
erinlawsat
thehomestead.

Thefoll
owIgmor ni
ngIam wokenupat
4:
00am, andt
akentoariv
ercl
oseby .Iam
cl
eansedbutnakedwit
hthendressedinNew
cl
othes.

Wegobacktothehouseandeat.By11am we
ar
edoneandthecat
eringt
eam getreadyt
o
l
eave.

Ihaven'
tbeentooemoti
onal
today
.It
hinki
t'
s
becAuseofall
thepeopl
ehere.
 
MaNdhlov
uinsi
stedonmenott
ouchi
ngat hi
ng.
I'
vebeeni
nmyroom watchi
ngt
vasthoughI
am i
nqwaqwa.
*
***
***
***
***Si
ya*
***
***
***
*

Ikeeplookingatt hereport
sfrom myteam and
weekt hi
ngsar en'tdoi
ngasgr eatasIthought
theywould.Ithoughtbynowwewoul dbe
wrappedupandnowoul dbeablegobackt o
myl i
fe.Butnow6mont hslat
erI'
m sti
l
l st
uck
hereinthi
sf uckingsafehouse.

Ilooket hrought hereportsandgetmoreand

mor ei r
ri
tated.ThisfuckinLesot
hodeal has
takensomuchl onger.Wear esti
ll
try
ingto
fi
gureoutway sonhowt omakeS.A.and
Lesot hoone.Fr om currenci
es,t
oland.I
t'sLl
j
ustt akingt oolong.

Hl
okeswalksi
njustasIfi
nish,
Ndthel
ookon
hi
sfacet
ell
smet hati
tsbadnews
Me:
and?
Hi
m: par
li
amentwaspost
ponedf
oranot
her
week
Me:
fuck
Hi
m: Ghost
.Youmi
ghtaswellchi
l
l.Thi
sthi
ng
wi
llonl
ybedonei
nanothersi
xmonths 
Me:shut
.Thi
siscrazy
.Ri
fi
loei
sduet
ogi
ve
bi
rt
hanyminutenow 
Hi
m:whatdoy
ouwantt
odo?

IlookatHlokesandfeel
moreandmor
eangr
ier
.
IfhehadjustdidwhatIt
oldhi
mtodowe
wouldn'
tbeinthismess.

Me:
Ineedt
oseeRi
fi
loe.
 
Hi
m:y
oucan'
tbeser
ious
Me;i
fIhaetowai
tanot
her6months,sheis
goi
ngtoki
l
lmehin:y
ou'
real
readydead.Soyou
mi
ghtaswel
lwai
t

It
hrowther
epor
tatHl
okes,
andheduckswhi
l
e
smil
ing

Him;i
t'
sonl
yfornow.Afewmont hsfr
om now
youwil
lwal
koffi
ntothesunsetwit
hRifi
l
oe.

Igetupandwal kt omyof fi
ce.IknowIwant ed
toleAv etheforce, Ij
ustdidntthinkt hatsit
wouldmeanay earofl yingtoRifiloe.Itr
ied
speakingt othepr esidentbuthewasn' tlet
ti
ng
go.Hei nsist
edt hatIwoul dhav et oconsulton
theLesot hodeal untili
twasset tled,butnow
parli
amenti stakinglongert hanexpect .Buti n
all
fairnessness, i
tstwodi ff
erentpar li
ament s.
Meet i
ngandt r
yingt obecomeone.

Isi
tinmyof
fi
ceandl
ookt
hroughpr
ovi
der
sand
pict
uresofmyf amily
.Iwantnothi gmoret han
tojustwalkoutofherebutiknowt hatt
hisnot
apossibil
i
ty.Sositandfort
hef i
rstti
mepr ay
thatbytheti
meIgobackRi fil
oestill
wantsme.
[
05/
16,
19:
04]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

197

Ifinal
l
ydecidetotakeJasonuponhi soff
ert
o
hav el
unch.It
’sbeenamont hsinceIcameback
from mycleansingceremonyandJasonhas
beenhoundingmef orluncheversince.So
todayforthefir
stti
meIagr ee.
 
SoIstar
tget
tingr
eady
,andIr
ecei
veamessage
fr
om himtel
l
ingmehe’spi
cki
ngmeup.
Iam t
otal
l
yagai
nstt
his,
soIdeci
det
ocal
lhi
m
back
Hi
m;heyy
ou 
Me;
don’
tpi
ckmeup.I
lldr
ive 
Him;Ri
fil
oe,
your8mont
hspr
egnant
.Iwon’
tlet
youdri
ve 
Me;
Jason.I
’
mfi
ne
Hi
m;I
’
m onmywayt
her
eany
way
.Soj
ustr
elax

Ir
oll
myey esandjustf
ini
shgett
ingready
.It
ie
mythinbr
aidsinabun,andwearoneofmy
manyMaxi dr
esses,wi
thsandal
s. 
Tomysurpr
ise,
byt
heti
meIgetdownstai
rs,
Jasoni
shavi
ngCof
feewit
hMaNdhlov
u 
Lor
dhel
pme.

Me;
Hey
.Idi
dn’
tthi
nky
ouwer
eher
eyet
 
Hi
m;Iwaswait
ingi
nmycar,buty
ourmot
heri
n
l
awherei
nvi
tedmeforsomecoff
ee
Il
ookatMaNdhl
ovuandshehasami
schi
evous
smil
eonherf
ace.

Her
;Si
tMakot
i.Joi
nusf
orCof
fee 
Me;
maI
’
m pr
egnant
.Ican’
thav
ecof
fee 
Her
;thenI
’
llmakey
out
ea

Shegetsupbef
oreIcanev enstopher.SoI
havenochoi
cebuttositdownnexttoJason
whoisobvi
ousl
yenjoyi
ngthisli
ttl
escene

Me;
whydi
dn’
tyousaynot
ocof
fee
Him;thesamereasonyouaresit
ti
ngher
e.She
doesn’tt
akenoforananswer 
Me;
mx 
Hi
m;y
oul
ookni
ce
Me;
Ilookl
i
keawhal
e 
Hi
m;acut
ewhal
e 
Me;
Jason 
Hi
m;what
 
Me;
mymot
heri
nlawi
sint
henextr
oom 
Hi
m;Iwasj
ustbei
nghonest

Ir
oll
myey es,
andforthefi
rstt
imesmi
l
eathow
st
upidt
hiswholet
hingis.

MaNdhlov
uwalksi
nwithacupofmycamomi
l
e
t
ea.Thensit
sdownandst
aresatus

Her;
soJason.YouandRi
fi
loehav
eknowneach
ot
herforhowlong?
Hi
m;acoupl
eofy
ear
snow 
Her
;andwhatar
eyouri
ntent
ionsar
ewi
thher
God,whenIhear dthosewor dscomi ngoutof
mymot herinlaw,Iwantedtof aint
.Jasonis
j
ustmyf r
iend.Ihaven’tseenhimi noveray ear
.
Whyonear thwouldshebeaski nghim about
hi
sintent
ions?

Me;ma.JasonandIar
en’
tdat
ing.We’
rej
ust
f
ri
ends
Her
;mhmmm

Shesmil
esatmeandIt
aket
hisasmycuef
or
ustol
eave.

Me;
Jason,
weshoul
dgetgoi
ng

Istandupbef
oreshecansayanythi
ng.And
thankf
ull
ysodoesJason.Heki
ssesbothher
cheeks, andwewal koutfeel
ingasawkwardas
ever.Ihonestl
yhavenoi deawhatshewas
tr
yingt odo.Iam notclosetoevenbeingr
eady
tomov eonandhereshei saskingabout
i
ntentions.Mxm

Isli
pint
othef
rontseatofJasonscar
,andwai
t
forhimtowal
kbackaround 
Hi
m;t
hatwassomet
hingel
se 
Me;
Ithi
nkgr
iefi
sdr
ivi
nghercr
azy
 
Hi
m;It
hinkshej
ustwant
syout
obehappy
 
Me;
imf
ine 
Hi
m;y
oudi
dnev
engr
eetmepr
oper
ly 
Me;JasonIhungr
y,gr
umpyandpr
egnant
.Don’
t
messwithme 
Hi
m;Yesmam

Hedr
ivesof
fsmi
l
ing,
andIi
mmedi
atel
ysmi
l
e
back.

*
***
***
***
***
*SI
YA*
***
***
***
***
***
*

Il
ookindisbeli
efasRi
fi
loegetsi
ntot
hat
bast
ardscar.Ii
mmediatel
ystandupandget
mykey s.
 
Thi
sisnotsomethi
ngIwill
sitandwat
ch.Thi
s
i
smywi f
e,andseei
ngherpregnantwi
thmy
chi
l
dandsmi l
i
ngwiththatasshol
emakesme
wantt
ogomad.

Iwal
koutt
hedoor
,andHl
okescomesr
ushi
ng
tost
opme

Me;
Bul
l
et.Nott
oday
 
Him;youcan’
tdot
hisGhost
.Youknowy
ou
can’
t 
Me;youmustbeoutofy
ourmi nd.Thi
sismy
wi
fe.MYFuckingWi
feBull
et.Andyouexpect
metosither
eanddoasyousay  
Him;Ghost.She’
sjustgoingforl
unch.I
t’
snot
l
ikesheisgoingtofal
lforhim.She’
ssti
ll
mourni
ngy ou 
Me; youareonecr azyfucker.Sheislonely.She
thinkssheisnevergoingtoseemeagai n.And
tomaket hingswor se,
shei spregnant.That
aloneisarecipefordisaster 
Him; Ghost.SoIneedtor
emi
ndy out
hat,j
ust
pi
tchingupt her
eisn’
tgoi
ngt
omaket hi
ngs
ri
ght.It’
sonlygoi
ngtomakethi
ngsworse.Just
hangi nthere

IlookatBul
letanddeci
detotot
all
yignor
ehi
m.I
refuse.Tol
etthi
shappenovermydeadbody.

Igeti
nthecar
,andHl
okesst
andsbehi
ndi
t,
thi
nki
ngIwon’
trunhi
m ov
er.Hecl
ear
lydoesn’
t
knowme.

Igetoutt
hecar
,andnowIam pi
ssedbey
ond
pi
ssed

Me;
Mov
easi
deagent
 
Hi
m;Iwont
 
Me;
excuseme.
 
Hi
m;Ghost
 
Me;Iam yourLi
eut
enant,
andIam gi
vingyouan
or
derson.Nowmov e,bef
oret
hingsgetbad

Bul
l
etl
ooksanddeci
dedt
odoast
old.

Ij
umpbacki nt
hecar,anddri
veof
ftowar
dsmy
house.I
tst
imeIletpeopl
eknowwho’si
n
char
ge.Andthatsti
l
l happenst
obeme.I
’
m
donewit
hall
t hebul
lshit
.

Iar
ri
veatt
hegateandsi
gh.Mypoormot
heri
s
goi
ngtohaveahaveahear
tat
tack

Iwal
ktotheki
tchenandseehersi
tt
ingI
’
mthe
l
oungewatchi
ngtel
evi
sion.
 
Shehasn’
tspot
tedmey etandforsomer
eason
myheartst
art
sbeat
ing.Fast.Heavy.
Iwalkt oherandt heshocki nhereyest el
lmeI
should’vebeenmor esensi t
ive.Shestaresat
meandherey esbegi
nt owat er.Iwanttosay
somet hing.Iwanttotellherhowsor ryIam t
hat
Iputthem t hr
oughthis.Butwor dsfailme.

Shestandsupandlooksintomyeyes.She
doesn’tbl
i
nk.Notonce.Shemovescloser
,and
brushesmyfacewithherhand
Her
;Si
yabonga 
Me;
Ma

Shedoesn’
tsayany
t hi
ngf
urt
her.I
nst
ead,
Ifeel
athr
obbingsl
apacrossmyface

Her
;whywoul
dyoudot
hist
ousSi
yabonga.Ye
Me;
MaIcanexpl
ain 
Her;
Expl
ainwhat
.Expl
aint
haty
ouhav
eli
edt
o
us
Me;
Ma’
Her;
No.notawor d.Youhaveputthi
sfamily
t
hroughhell
.Thenonedaynearlyayearl
ater
yourockupwithoutevenwar
ning.AREyou
t
ryi
ngt oki
l
lme?  
Me;
Ma,
just
 
Her
;shoul
dbeashamedofy
our
sel
f

Shewalkspastmeandheadst
oherr
oom whi
l
e
Ichaseaf
terher

Me;
Mawhatar
eyoudoi
ng 
Her;
Iam packi
ng.Iwon’
tbeherewhenyou
br
eakthatwoman’shear
t,y
etagai
nSiyabonga.
 
Me;
Ma 
Her ;y
oushould’
veseenhowbr okenshewas.
Howhur tsheisfrom al
lofthi
s.Shecould’v
e
l
ostt hebaby.Andnowher eyouareasthought
nothinghashappened.Nxa…Byt hewayIam
takingmygrandchil
drenwithme.Iwon’tletyou
traumati
zethem.Nev er

Shetakesherbag,andpacksstuf
fofthe
chi
ldr
en.IGetHlokesontheli
neandinst
ruct
hi
mt ohavethejetreadyf
ormymot her.Iknow
sheismadatme, butsheisr
ightaboutthe
chi
ldr
en.Theycan’tbeher
ewhenRi f
il
oef i
nds
outaboutme.
Mymotherisoutthehousewit
hinanhourof
myarr
ival
.Oneoftheguardsaretakingherto
pi
ckupthekidsfr
om school
,whileIsither
eand
openabott
leofwhiskeyandwaitformywi fet
o
comehome

Iwai
t,andwai
t,andwai
t,andst
il
l.NoRi
fi
loe.

Igoupst
air
s,t
akeashowerandcomeback
down,t
oseeacardri
vi
ngupmydr i
veway.

Iseeit
sJason’scar,
soIsitoninthecouchand
knockanot
herglassofwhiskeydownmyt hr
oat.
Iwanttobecalm.Ireal
l
ydo, butatther
ateI
’m
feel
i
ngIam justaboutr
eadyt oki
llt
hisman.
[
05/
16,
19:
04]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

198

Rif
il
oewal ksinl
aughing,asthoughsheisthe
happiestwomanal i
ve.I’
m sit
ti
nghereinthe
l
oungewi ththel
ightsoff.Iam t
ryi
ng.Real
ly
hard.NottojumpatJasonbutIam l osi
nga
battl
ewithinmyself.

Theywalki
nandRif
il
oeput
sthel
ight
soni
nthe
ki
tchen,
andtheymovet
othel
ounge.
 
Sheswitchesont heli
ght,andimmedi at
ely
fr
eezes.Thelooki nhereyesisunreadable.I
don’
tknowwhet hershei spissedorifsheis
j
ustplai
nlysurpr
ised.

Shedoesn’
tmov
eandnei
therdoesJason.She
st
aresatmewhi
l
e,Ist
areatJason.
 
Hedoesn’
ttakehi
seyesoffmine.Wearebot
h
al
phamalebothfi
ght
ingforwhatwewantand
GodknowsIam notl
osingthi
sfight
. 
Westandli
kethisIdon’
tknowforhowl
ong,
andf
inal
lyRi
fi
loe,l
ooksatJason

Her
;Jasony
oushoul
dgo

Hedoesn’
tremov
ehi
sey
esf
rom mi
ne

Hi
m;no 
Her
;Jason.Youneedt
ogo.Now.

St
il
lhedoesn’
tmov
e.

Me;
Ithi
nky
ouneedt
oli
stent
oyourgi
rl
fr
iend
Jason.Leav
enow,
bef
oret
hingsgetoutof
hand 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loegot
othecar

Rif
iloel
ooksbackandf ort
hbetweenmeand
Jason,andforaspl
itsecondsheconsi
der
s
goingtothecar
,butdecidesnotto.

Her
;Jasonl
ookatme.

herdoesn’
tmov
e

her
;JASON 
Helooksatherandwi
pesatearfrom herey
e.
Theyhaveamomentandthatjustmakesme
l
oseit.Complet
ely
.
*
***
***
***
***
Rif
il
oe*
***
***
***
***
*

Il
ookatthesceneinfr
ontofmeandIdon’t
knowwhattodo.Siyai
sont opofJason,
and
I’
mtry
ingtopullhi
m of
f. 
Idon’tknowhow,butforsomer easonJason
getshim of
fofhi
m.Ikeepscr eamingforSiy
a
tostopbuthehastotall
ylosti
t.

Theguardsruninandareabl
etostopt
hem.It
takes2ofthem t
oapprehendSi
ya,
whil
eJason
catcheshi
sbreath.
 
Iheadtothebat
hroom andbr
ingoutt
hef
ir
st
ai
dkit.Thengobacktothel
ounge.

Siyaissti
l
lpi
ssed.Hi
sey eshavegonet
otall
y
red.Iseesomuchhatredinthem t
hati
tscares
me. 
TheGuardsaresti
llt
ryi
ngtohol
dSiy
aback,
whil
eIhelpJason.There’
ssomuchblood
comingfr
om hisnose. 
Igi
vehi
m anI
cepackwhi
l
eitr
yfi
gur
eoutwhat
wearegoi
ngt
odowi t
hhi
spoorf
ace

Siy
aisnowstandi
ngther
eget t
ingmoreand
morepi
ssed.Il
ookathim andIhonest
lydonot
knowwhattodo. 
Jasonl
ooksatmeandshakeshi
shead

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loey
oucantt
ell
mey
ouwanthi
m back

Il
ookatJasonandIj
ustdon’
tknowwhatt
osay

Hi
m;Ri
fi
loeheisamonst
er.I
fhecandot
hist
o
mewhatdoyouthi
nkhewil
ldot
oy ou
Si
ya;
youbet
tershutupboyori
l
lfucki
ngki
l
lyou

Hi
m; Rif
il
oe,
comewithme.Il
ltakecar
eofy
ou.
I
llnev
erlayahandonyou.Never

Il
ookatJasonandseehowhonesthei s.This
i
stheguyIshould’vemetf i
rst.IfIhadmet
Jasonfi
rst
,Iwouldn’tbestandi ngher
e.I’
dbe
somewhereinthewor ldhappy .Butno.Ihadto
choosethi
scrazy,possessivebeaststandingto
myleft
.

Il
ooktooneoftheguar
ds,andinst
ructt
hem to
dr
iveJasont
otheemergencyroom andthen
dr
ivehi
m home.

Si
yaissi
tti
ngonachai
rwi
thaglassofwhi skey
i
nhishand.Wal
kspastmeandgivesmeaki ss
onmycheek.Godt
hismanisfr
ustrat
ing.He
j
ustdoesn’
tunder
standt
hatSi
yawi
l
lli
ter
all
yki
l
l
hi
m

Hi
m;besaf
e.Cal
lmei
fyouneedme 
Me;I
’m sor
ryaboutt
his.Ihadnocl
ueabout
t
his 
Him;
itsf
ine.I
fyouneedmey
ouknowwher
eto
f
indme.

Inod,andhewal
ksoutwit
htheguar
ds.Now
i
t’
sjustme.Meandthi
smanwhoonceagain
hasturnedmywol
dupsidedown.

Ilookathim andwonderwhatst or
yIam goi
ng
tobet ol
dthisti
me.Iprayedsohardandlong
askingGodt obri
nghim back.Aski
ngHimt o
tell
mei twasallamist
ake, andnowthatheis
hereIdon’tknowhowt ofeel.
Iheadtomyr oom andIsi tonthebedandtr
yto
cal
m myemot i
ons.IfeelSiyabefor
eheeven
saysanythi
ng.Icansmel lhisscent
.Hedoesn’
t
mov e.Notaninch.Hejuststandsther
ewhil
eI
si
tandt r
ysortthroughwhatmyemot i
onsare
atthemoment

Isi
tandfinal
lyletoutacryofat housandy ear
s
coming.Howcoul dSiyadothistome?Why
wouldhewantt ohurtme?I’vetri
edev er
ything
i
nmypowerf orthepastthr
eey earstoprov et
o
himthatIlov
ehi m,andyetherehei sali
ve,
whenIthoughthewasdead.

Her
ushest
omysi
de,
andel
bowhi
mint
hef
ace.

Het
umbl
esback,
andl
ooksatmesur
pri
sed
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;No.SiyaIam donewitht
hisfucki
ngbull
shi
t.
Thi
sisn’
tamar r
iage.Youhaveli
edtome.Ov er
andoveragai
n.Butthist
imeyouhav egonetoo
far
. 
Him;BabyPl
ease.Iunder
standy
ou’
reangr
y.
ButIhadnochoi
ce

Me;Siy
a.youal
wayshaveachoice.Iam y
our
wi
fe.Youhavenor
ightt
odothistome.You
br
okeourvows 
Him;Rif
il
oe.Thi
sisn’
teasyforei
therofus.I
camehereanddef i
edmyownpr esident
’s
order
s.ButIcameback.BecauseIloveyou 
Me;Lies.Youcamebackbecausey
ouf
ound
outaboutJason

Iturnaroundandlookathi
sfaceandIknow
thatit
’sthetr
uth.Si
yawoul
dn’thav
ecomeback
i
fitwasn’
tformehav
ingl
unchwi
thJason.

Me;
youshoul
dgo 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;now.Gobackt
owher
evert
hehel
lyou
camefrom 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loepl
ease.Babyj
ustl
etmeexpl
ain 
Me;Explai
nwhat?Thatyoubet ray
edme.My
tr
ust?ThatIhadtogothroughhellbecauseof
yourJob?Thatonceagai
nIam pr egnantwith
yourchi
ldandyouweren’
tt here?Nothi
ngyou
saywill
makeupf ort
heshitt haty
ouhav eput
met hr
oughSiya.

Hewalksof
ftothebathroom andIsi
tandt
ry
cal
mingdown.Ifeel
thebabykicki
ngand
remembert
hatthisi
sbiggert
hanme.  
Si
yawal
ksoutandsi
tsnex
tme.Hemakessur
e
hedoesn’ tt
ouchme.Webot hj
ustsitther
eand
wonderwhatwear egoingtogetthroughthi
s.I
cannev ertr
usthi
m.Isather emourningaman
thatwasal i
ve.Amant hathadagainchosenhis
j
obov erme.Ov erourbaby.HowdoImov eon
from t
hatandgetbackwher ewewer ebefor
e
alloft
hisNaledishi
t.
[
05/
16,
19:
05]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

199

I’
m si
tti
ngherebr
eathi
ng.Cry
ingandt
ryi
ngto
calm mysel
fdown.Siy
asit
snexttomewitha
l
ookt hatI
’v
eseentoomanytimes.Al
ookof
regr
et. 
Igetupandgot otakeashower.Ineed
somethi
ngthatisgoingtorel
easethi
sstress.
Mypoorbabymustbewonder i
ngwhatthehell
i
sgoingon.Istandintheshowersti
llwi
tha
heavyheart
.Ijustcan’tseem t
owrapmyhear t
aroundthefactthathewasback.Ifeelacol
d
breezecomingfrom thedoor,andIknowit
’s
hi
m.  
Itenseup.Idon’tknowi fI’mr eadyf orthi
s.He
comesi nandput shishandar oundmef r
om the
back.Iwantt ofi
ghthim, Iwantt oscream at
him, t
ell
him howIhat ehimf ormaki ngmego
throughsomuchhel l
.ButIcan’ t.Ican’
tbring
my selft
of i
ghthim anymor e.It uraroundand
putlookupathi m.It’
sbeenal ongt i
me.Iwas
start
ingtoforgethowt al
l hei s.Ifeelmyhai r
getwetbutIdon’ tcare.He’sl ookinginmyey es,
andf orthefi
rstt
imet onightIseef earinhis
eyes. 
Itakemyey esof
fhi
sandputmyheadonhi
s
chest.He’
shere

Iwakeupthefol
l
owi
ngmorni
ngwit
hSi
ya
wrappedar
oundmeli
keI
vy.I
’
m abi
t
uncomf
ortabl
e,becauseIhaven’
thadtosleep
wit
hinmybedwi thanyonefornextt
oay ear,
andwel
l,t
hisbabyisn’
tmakingitanyeasi
er. 
Ishi
ftabi
tandhemov
es.

Hi
m;wher
eyougoi
ng 
Me;
Ineedt
opee 
Hi
m;hol
diti
n 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;mhmmmm

Imov ehi
shandsandheadt ot
hebat
hroom.I
decideImightaswel
lfr
eshenupwhi
leI’
m
here. 
Ibrushmyteet
h,washmyf
ace,
andt
hengo
backtobed.
Il
yef
aci
nghi
m andhesl
owl
yopenshi
sey
es.

Hi
m;t
hatl
ookt
ell
smey
ouwantanexpl
anat
ion 
Me;
youknowmet
oowel
l
 
Hi
m;gi
vemeasec.

Hegetsupadheadstothebat
hroom.Then
comesbackandgetsbacki
ntobed.

Him;baby
.Youknowsomet
hingsIcan’
ttel
l
you.Ri
ght
Me;
don’
tst
artwi
thme 
Hi
m;no.j
ustl
etmeexpl
ain 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.Justshush.

Il
ookathi
m andhi
sfacehaschangedf
rom
bei
ngallsweetandmushy
,tobei
nghar
dand
angr
ier
. 
God.Hecanbeannoy
ing.ButIdeci
de,
tokeep
qui
te

Hi
m;canIcont
inueorar
ey ougoi
ngt
oint
err
upt
meever
ychanceyouget?
Me;
(si
l
ence)
 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
I’
mli
steni
ng

Herol
lshiseyesandst
atst
alki
ng.Het
ell
sme
ev
eryt
hing.Fr
om 
Howt heyforLesotho,becauseNaledi’
sfat
her
hadkill
edhisuncle.Tohowt heybasical
ly
overt
ookLesotho.Butwhenhet el
l
smeabout
Hlokes,If
eelmyst omachget t
ingweaker
Me;
soheshoty
ou 
Hi
m;y es.Buthehadt odoit.soi
tlookedl
i
kehe
wasrebell
ing.Other
wise,Iandmyt eam
woul
d’venev ermadeitoutali
ve.
 
Me;
sowhypr
etendt
obedead
Him Rifi
loe,Ineededtimetorecov
er.Butmost
i
mpor tantl
yifIwas“ dead”noonewouldcome
aft
ery ou.Iknewy ouwouldbesafe.Atleastt
il
l
Icouldgiveor der
stomymenagai n
Me;
cont
inue 
Him;soIwentt ot hesaf ehouse.Ihadanop.
Andstart
edr ecovering.ButIdidn’treal
isehow
l
ongitwouldt aket obringtocount ri
estogether.
I’
vespentday sandni ghtgoingthroughl egal
paperworks.Tryingt ofindsolut
ions.Tomake
thi
ngsworsepar li
amenti samess.Weneedt o
deci
dewhoi sbei ngkept ,andwhoi sbei nglet
go.Weneedt odecideaboutl aws, poli
ceforce,
ever
ythi
ng.It
’scrazy  
Me;
sigh 
Him; aft
eralli
sdoneRi f
il
oe.Iswearonmyl if
e.
I
’llbedonewi thf
orce.I’
vealr
eadytenderedmy
resignat
ion.Thepresi
dentwasn’thappyaboutit
,
butheaccept edi
tont hecondit
ionthatIwrap
upt heLesothodeal.Onceeveryt
hingissort
ed,
I
’llbeout

IlookatSi
yaandseet
hathei
sseri
ous.Buta
partofmesti
ll
wonder
sifhei
sreal
l
ytell
ingme
thetrut
h.

Me;sowhatmadey oucomehomelastnight
.
Wheny oust
il
lhadaboutanot
her6monthsof
ser
ving
Hi
m;(Si
l
ence)
 
ME;
answerme 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe 
Me;
tel
lme.Iwantt
oheari
t 
Him;Isawy ouwi
thhi
m.Ij
ustcoul
dn’
tletgo.I
coul
dn’tseeyouwi
thhi
m 
Me; buty oucouldsitbyandletmebur y
someonet hatwasn’tyou?Youcouldsitbyand
watchmebr eak,andy oudidnothi
ng.You
could’vesentsubtlemessages.Helleventold
Hlokest otell
me.buty oudidn’
t.Youletme
mour ny ouSiya.youmademef acemydar kest
fear
, andy oudidn’
tfli
nch.Notonce 
Him;babyIdidn’twantt ori
skyoursaf ety.I
t
wasacr uci
alti
me.Youwer ebeingwat ched.
Anysli
ghtmishapandmyenemi eswoul d’v
e
knownIwasal ive.Icouldn’
tri
skt hat
.Ihadt o
l
etyougot hrought hi
s,sothattheywoul d
bel
ieveIwasdead 
Me;
sowhatnow 
Hi
m;Idon’
tknow 
Me;
whatdoy
oumeany
oudon’
tknow 
Him;Idon’
tknow.Ididn’
tthi
nkt
histhr
ough.I
j
ustsawy ouwit
hhim andIsawred.Idrov
e
herewit
houtaplan.
 
Me;
lor
dsi
ya 
Hi
m;I
llf
ixt
his 
Me;
yourf
ir
stst
artwi
l
lbeapol
ogi
singt
oJason

Si
yalookedatmewi t
hsuchanger,
IswearI
cr
inged.ButIwasn’
tbacki
ngdownont hi
s.He
waswr ongandheneedstoapol
ogise 
Me;im ser
ious.Iwanty
out
oapol
ogi
set
o
Jason 
Hi
m;nev
er 
Me;
Siy
a.Hei
smyf
ri
end.Andy
ouat
tackedhi
m 
Him;that
’sbecausehewasmaki
ngmov
eson
you.Yetagai
n 
Me;
Siy
ayoupl
ayeddead.
 
Hi
m;st
il
l.
 
Me;i
fyoudon’
tapol
ogi
zet
ohi
m,t
heny
ouandI
ar
enotgoi
ngtobeok

Hegetsoutofbed,
andst
ormsoutt
her
oom.I
smil
eandshakemyhead.Lor
dhel
pme.what
am Igoi
ngtodowithi
sman.

Igetupandmaket hebed.Openthewindows,
andgot akeashower .Hecansulkasmuchas
hwant sbutIam notlett
inghi
m getawaywit
h
thi
s.Jasonhasbeensosuppor ti
veandcari
ng.
Hedidn’tdeser
vewhathappenedt ohim.

AftermyshowerIheaddownst air
s, wi
thjusta
robeon.Idon’ treal
lyplanonleavi
ngt hehouse
today.Ijustwantt ositherewit
hmycr azy
munt uandt ryfi
ndawayt omov epastt hi
s.But
I
’m sti
llnotlett
inggooft heJasoni ssue.Si
ya
waswr ong.Poi ntblank,andheneedst omake
i
tri
ght

Ifi
ndhimi nhisoffi
ce.He’st al
ki
ngtoHlokes,
so
Igooutandl ethi
m be.InsteadIgot ot
he
kit
chenandmakebr eakfast.Somehowt he
messf r
om lastnight
’sfi
ghthadbeencl eaned
up.AndthenIr emembert hatthisi
sSiy
awe’ r
e
tal
kingabout. 
Imakehim breakfastandtakei
ttohim ona
tr
ay.Imaybemadathi m butIam happy.Heis
home.Heisal i
vehei ssaf
eandforthataloneI
shoul
dbegr atef
ul. 
Hel
ooksupasIwal
kinandhesmi
l
es.
 
Him;Bul
letI
’
llcal
lyouback.Handl
eev
ery
thi
ng
andkeepmei ntheloop

Heput
sdownt
hephoneandst
aresatmewi
th
abi
ggri
nonhi
sface
Hi
m;I
’
vemi
ssedy
ou 
Me;
I’
vemi
ssedy
oumor
e

Igi
vehi
m hi
sbr
eakf
astandhedi
gsi
n.

Me;
Il
lbeupst
air
sify
ouneedme 
Hi
m;ar
en’
tyoueat
ing 
Me;
Ihadsomef
rui
tandt
ea.I
’
lleatl
ater
 
Hi
m;y
ouneedt
oeatmor
e.Fort
hebaby
’ssake 
Me;Si
yaI’
vedonethi
sbef
ore.Bot
hti
mes
wi
thouty
ou.IknowwhatI
’m doi
ng

Siy
a’seyeswi
den.Idon’
tknowwhyI
’
m
snappi
ngathi
m, butIj
ust(
sigh)

Iwal
koutandgoupstai
rs.I
’
m notangryathi
m.
Hel
lI’
mreal
lyhappyhe’
shome.Buttherei
sa
l
otofunsaidthingsthatI
’
m bot
tl
ingup,andI
am notreadytodiscusst
hem.Ij
usthopeheis
pat
ientenough

Isi
tinmyroom,anddeci
detocal
lJason.I
knowIshoul
dn’
tbutIj
ustneedt
omakesur e
he’
sok

Hi
m;hey
 
Me;
hey
 
Hi
m;(si
l
ence)
 
Me;
I’
m sor
ry 
Hi
m;Ther
e’snot
hingf
ory
out
obesor
ryabout
 
Me;
how’
syourf
ace 
Hi
m;i
l
lli
ve 
Me;I’
mr eall
ysorr
yJason.Si
yai
sntusuall
yli
ke
that
.Idon’tknowwhathewasthi
nking.ButI
knowher egretsi
t 
Him;Idoubti
t.Andwasn’
thesupposedt
obe
dead 
Me;Sigh.I
t’
salongst
oryJason.Buthe’
shome
andthat’
sall
thatmat
ter
s 
Hi
m; Idon’
tgetitRi
fi
loe.Whatdoy
ouseei
n
t
hatguy?Isitt
hemoney ?
 
Me;
JASON.No.i
t’
smor
ethant
hat
.Il
ovehi
m 
Hi
m;andy
ethekeepsdi
sappoi
nti
ngy
ou 
Me;
(Si
l
ence)
 
Him;howdoy outhinkthi
sisgoi
ngtoend?Do
youthinkyouaregoingtowal
kint
othesunset
wit
ht hisman? 
Me;
Ihav
etot
rustt
hatIwi
l
l 
Hi
m;wel
lgoodl
uck.
 
Me;
Jase
Him;I
’
vegott
ogoRi
fi
loe.Cal
lmewhenhe
scr
ewsupagai
n 
Wi
tht
hatJasonendsourcal
l
.Icl
osemyey
es
andbat
tl
ewi
thmy
sel
f.
 
Idon’tknowwhenSiyagother
e.ButIcanfeel
heisstandingbehi
ndme.Idon’tbot
hertur
ning
around.Iknowheheardme.

Af
terawhi
lehewal
ksi
nandpul
l
sachai
rand
si
tsi
nfr
ontofme

Hi
m;doy
oucal
l
edhi
m
Me;
yes 
Hi
m;why
Me;
Iwant
edt
omakesur
ehewasok,
aft
er…

Siyai
sn’
tlooki
ngatme.Hei
sjustl
ooki
ngathi
s
feet

Hi
m;doy
oul
ovehi
m
Il
ookathim anddon’
tanswer.Whatki
ndof
questi
onisthat
?hefinal
l
ylooksupatm andhe
hastearsi
nhiseyes

Hi
m;Tel
lme.doy
ouhav
efeel
i
ngsf
orhi
m? 
Me;
no
Him;
butt
hewayy ousmi
lewhenhe’saround.
Thewayy
ourushedtohi
ssidel
astnight 
Me;
Siy
ahewashur
t 
Hi
m;si
gh 
Me; Si
y aILOVEYOU.Nomat terwhatIhav e
l
ov edy ouf r
om t hedayIlaideyesony ou.Iwill
standbyy out hroughi
tall.Al
lI’
veaskedf rom
youi sHonest yandt hatissomet hingyou
hav en’tgiv
enmef r
om thebeginning.ButhereI
am.I ’
m sti
llhere 
Hi
m;pr
omi
semey
ouwon’
tleav
eme 
Me;
nev
er 
Hi
m;Si
gh 
Me;
Imi
ssedy
ou.Real
l
ymi
ssedy
ou 
Hi
m;Imi
ssedy
oumor
e

Ifeel
hishandsonmebefor
eIcanevenbl
ink.
I’
m growl
ingbef
oreheev
enreacheshi
sai
m

Hi
m;I
’
vemi
ssedt
hist
oo 
Me;
don’
tkeepmewai
ti
ng

Het akesof fmyr obe,andI ’

ml ostinhim.He
touches,kissed,andni bblesonev erypartofmy
body .I
’m sowetIcan’ tev enbreathe.Il
ayon
mysi deandIf eel hi
m ent erme.Itsbeenso
l
ongIhadcompl etel
yf orgott
enhowi tf
elttobe
onewi thhim. 
It
ryhol
dingon,
butmybodyl
etsgo.Cal
l
ingout
hi
sname.We’ r
enotperf
ect.Farfrom i
t.Butt
his
manisitf
orme.Hei smyev eryt
hingandImay
wanttoki
llhi
m att
imes,butthereisnome
wi
thouthi
m.Wear eone.
[
05/
16,
19:
06]Ron:
Siy
aandFi
fi
'
sLov
eSt
ory

200

Wakingupnextt
oSi
yafeltl
ikeadr
eam come
t
rue.Exceptf
ort
hef
actthatIhadwett
hebed.
 
Ij
umpedupoutandsodi
dhe.

He;
Rif
il
oe 
Me;
Getup 
Hi
m;What
sgoi
ngon
Me;
thebed.I
tswet
Hel
ookedatmewi
thhugeey
essmi
l
ed.

Me;st
opgri
nni
ng.Weneedt
oshowerandget
t
othehospi
tal
Hi
m;Shi
t 
Me;
awwwwwshi
t 
Hi
m;whati
s
Me;
Ithi
nki
tscont
ract
ions 
Him;
(chuckl
es)Isl
eepwi
thy
ouf
oroneni
ght
andyougoint
olabour

Ipickupmypil
lowandthrowi
tathi
m.Itakeoff
myPJ’ sandt
heshootsandbl
anket
sandthrow
them i
nthemachine.
 
ThenIwal
kbackupstair
sandjoinhiminthe
shower
.Thecontr
acti
onsareint
ensebuststi
ll
bear
abl
e.SoI’
m nottooworr
ied.Especi
all
y
si
nceIam gi
vi
ngbirt
hnatur
all
ythisti
me.
Siy
ahelpsmeshower,andIseeMrwonka
gett
ingbi
ggerandbi
gger

Me;Si
yal
i
ker
eal
l
y.Aner
ect
ionwhi
l
eI’
min
l
abour
 
Hi
m;Ican’
tresi
sti
t.don’
tyouseehowsexyy
ou
ar
e 
Me;
shutupandwashmyf
eet
 
Hi
m;Can’
twe.(
Clear
sthr
oat
) 
Me;
no.nothappeni
ng 
Hi
m;butbabyI
’
m notgoi
ngt
ogeti
tforanot
her
6weeks 
Me;
Siy
a.Justmov
e.Weneedt
ogetgoi
ng
Iseehi
mrol
lhi
sey
es,
andf
ini
shwashi
ngme
off
.

Whenwe’redoneIgr
abmyhospi
tal
bagfrom
Lesedi
’
sroom,andweleav
efort
hehospi
tal
Whenwegett othehospi
tal
mygyneanddoula
havearri
ved.Ideci
dedwearegoi
ngtousemy
doula.Shoul
dmygy neneedtost
epinthenhe
wil
l.Butfornowit’
sjustmeandt
hedoula.
 
Wesi gninandar
eledtomyroom.Si
yasit
sin
thecorneronhi
sphone,whi
l
eallmyt
estsare
beingtaken 
Thebabyi sabitpremat ure,butmydyneand
doulabothsti
llagreethatIcangoaheadwi th
natur
albirt
hsinceI’m onlythreeweeksaway
fr
om myduedat .plusmyl it
tlemanisalr
eady
about3.2kg’
ssowei ghtwisewear egood. 
Al
lmytestcomebackcl
earandwear
eint
he
cl
earf
oranatur
albi
rt
h. 
Ist
areatsiy
awho’sbeenonhi
sphone,
andhe
i
nstant
lyputsi
taway 
Hi
m;sor
ry 
Me;
sohav
eyouchosenanamef
orourson
Hi
m;Son
Me;
yes,
didn’
tIt
ell
you

Herol
lshisey
es,
becauseheknowsI
’
m bei
ng
sar
casti
c

Hi
m;HoweaboutMqobi
 
Me;
mhmm 
Him;lookIl
etyougetawaywithLesedi.Her
fi
rstnameisKhanyibutwedon’tusei
t.This
chil
d.Igett
ochose 
Me;
fine 
Hi
m;Mnqobi
Ndhl
ovu 
Me;
soundsok 
Hi
m;i
twasmyf
ather
’sname 
Me;
ify
oul
i
kei
tthenI
’
m goodwi
thi
t
Wespendaf ewhoursi
nacti
velabour.Ideci
de
i
tsbestformetohaveawaterbir
th.This
nat
uralt
hingisnotf
orme.If
eelli
kemybodyi s
bei
ngspliti
ntwo
Igeti
nthewat
erandSi
yai
sst
andi
ngr
ightnext
tome. 
Youcanseet heintensit
yinhiseyes.Heis
beyondexci
ted.Mydoul aguidesmet hr
oughit
all
.Shedoesn’tgetin.buttel
l
smeexact l
ywhat
todo.Ipushforasol i
d10mi nutes,andfinal
l
y
theheadisout.Siya’
sey eswiden.Ipush2
mor et
imesandoutcomesMnQobi .
 
Il
ookupatSiyaandhei si
nabsol
uteshock.
Mnqobiontheotherhandi
scryi
nghisli
tt
le
l
ungsout.
 
Ii
tint
hewaterforafewmi
nut
es,
justl
ooki
ngat
mygif
tfr
om above.
 
Aft
erawhil
e,mydoulagivesSi
yascissorst
o
cutt
heumbili
calcor
d.ThenshetakesMnqobi
andwrapshi
mi nablanket,
andgiv
eshi mto
Si
ya.
 
Heisimmediatel
ysmit
ten.Thesmi
leonhis
facei
sbeyond.Iseehi
m wipeawayatear
,asI
pushoutt
heamni ot
icsac.
 
Si
yalooksi
nmydi
rect
ion.Thenl
ooksaway
whenheseest
hesac.
 
Igi
ggl
e. 
Oncewe’
redoneget t
ingcleanedandbaby
Mnqobii
sdressed.Isiti
nbedandf eedhi
mfor
t
hefir
stt
ime. 
Si
yasi
tsnextt
omeandwat
chesus.

Hi
m;thanky
ouRi f
il
oe.Idon’
tknowwhatI
woul
dbewithoutyou 
Me;
promi
semewe’
reatt
heend.Pl
easeSi
ya 
Hi
m; wear
e.I
’
m neverl
eav
ingy
oursi
deagai
n.
I
tsyouandmefor
ever
Ismil
eathim,becauseIseet
hatt
hisi
shi
s
honestt
rut
h.

I
’
m dischar
gedfrom t
hehospi
talafewday
s
l
ater
.Iarr
ivehomeandMaNdhl ov
uhasarr
ived.
 
Shet
akesalookatMnqobi andshe
i
mmediat
elycal
lesoutherclannames.
 
Il
eavehert
her
eandgol
ookatmyot
hert
wo
chi
ldr
en.

Lesedii
mmediatel
yst
andsupandIpi
ckherup.
Olwethorunsi
ntomegiv
ingmeahug

Hi
m;wemi
ssedy
oumommy
 
Me;
Imi
ssedy
oumor
e 
Hi
m;Gr
annyt
oldmet
hatdaddyi
sback.
Me;
yes.He’
sdownst
air
s
Her
unsdownandi
mlef
twi
thLesedi
looki
ngat
me 
Me;
itsal
lov
erbabygi
rl
.We’
regoi
ngt
obea
r
ealf
amil
ynow

Shej
ustl
ooksatme.Pr
obabl
ythi
nki
ngi
vel
ost
mymind.

Igot
omyroom andsi
tonthebed.Si
yaandt
he
ki
dsj
oinmesometimelat
er.
 
Il
ookahim andseet
hatsomet
hingi
s
bot
her
inghi
m

Me;
whati
sit
 
Hi
m;not
hing 
Me;
Siy
a 
Hi
m;Ri
fi
loe.i
tsnot
hing

Ideci
det
oleti
tgoandtr
ustthathewil
ltal
kto
mewhenheisready
.Fornowwear eok.
 
Siy
aisher
e.Mychi
l
drenar
eher
e.AndIam
happy

***
* *
****
****
****
6Months
Later*
****
****
****
***
***
***

I’
m si
tt
ingonthebeachwit
hthechi
ldrenandI
am amazedathowt hey
earhasended. 
Siy
aandIar efinal
lywhereweneedt obe.He’
s
wrappedupev eryt
hingheneededtowrapup
wit
hthef or
ce.Wear efi
nall
yatastagewe
thi
ngsarecalm.Ther ei
snof i
ght
ing.No
doggingbul
let
s.
Si
yacomeoutt
hehouseandsi
tswi
thmeas
wewatchthesunsetf
rom t
heDur
banbeach
houset
hatheboughtmeasapushgif
t

Hi
m;ar
eyouhappy
 
Me;
mor
ethanhappy
 
Hi
m;Thanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ng.
 
Me;
Ilov
eyou 
Hi
m;l
ookwhatIhav
e

Hegiv esmehisIpad,andIlookthroughour
tr
adit
ionalweddi
ngpi ct
ures.Ismil
eandt hi
nk
howt herewasatimewher eIthoughtwewould
neverbehere.Butyetherewear e.

Ithi
nkbacktomymot her
’sdream andIam at
peace.Iwemayhavegonet hr
oughhell
.Butat
theendwecameoutbet t
er.Wecameoutasa
team.AndIknowthatnomat t
erwhatwemay
f
ace.Wewi
l
lal
way
sbeSi
ya&Fi
fi
.Toget
her
f
orever

.
..
..
..
.THEEND.
..
..
..
..
.