~Unexpect

edl
y~

PROLOGUE

Thesirensandt hepol
icecar
stot heambul
ances
thatar
ei nf
rontofusaswear ewat chi
ngt
hewhole
sceneast heyputhim onastr
etcherandi
ntothe
ambulanceandi tal
lendsli
kethatonceagai
n.
I
nter
viewer:
"Howdi
dyour
eal
lyf
eell
ikewhenyou
openedyoureyes?"
Sandi
le:
"itwasawakeupcall,
thatImadeal
otof
mist
akesinmylif
eandcausi
ngmet oal
mostloose
thewomanIlove"
'
Ncooh'.Youcanhearitf
rom t
hecrowd,
Iti
ltmy
headt
ot hesi
dejustt
ogetabettervi
ew.
Int
ervi
ewer
:"AndyouMr sVazi
-Zuma?Iam sur
e
youweredevist
ated."
Mercy:"i
twashard, t
heDr ssaidthathewasn'
t
supposedtomakeitafterthose5bullet
sonhis
chestbuther
ewear e.Thewai twaslongbutIam
happyheisokandfinallygotbacktolif
e"
I
nter
viewer:
"youhear
dityoursel
fpeopl
e..
..
..
."
Thet
vswi
tchedof
f,weal
ltur
ned.
Super
int
endent:
"Unat
hi"
Il
ookedatmyf r
iend'sbeforefol
lowi
ngher .IknowI
didnot
hingwrongandIcan' tbepunishedfor
somethi
ngIdon'tknow.Isitaboutmyl eavi
ngas
well?Mystaywillbeextended?Wegoti nher
offi
ceandshewentbehi ndherdesk.
Me:
"What
everi
tisi
twasn'
tmyf
aul
t"
Shelooksatmet hendownt ot
hepaper
sinfrontof
herandstoodupst r
aightl
ooki
ngatmeandgi vi
ng
meashar plook.Myeyeswonderaswellthr
ough
herfi
ercest
are.
Super
int
endent:
"Iknowyoudi
dnot
hingwr
ong"
Thenwhyam Iher
e.
Me:
"oh"
Shecutme.
Superint
endent:
"Ij
ustwantedtosayyourst
ay
wouldhavebeenextendedhencethewholeor
deal
thathappened5yearsago."
Ikeepqui
et.
Me:
"itwasami
stake"
Superi
ntendent:
"Iknow.Youhavebeenwel
l
behavedafterRazorl
eft"
Inodded.
Super
int
endent:
"Youmaygobackt
oyourcel
l,t
v
ti
meisdone"
Inodded.
Me:
"Thankyou"
Shenoddedandsatdownonherchai r.Iwal ked
outofheroff
iceandal readyawar denwaswai t
ing
forme.Shet ookmyar m andledmebackt omy
cell
.It
'shasbeent ough.Iwenti ntosolitar
yf ora
year,awholeyearaf t
ergivingbir
thtoAnel e.Ihave
neversawmybaby' sf aceafterbi
rthast heytook
mychildaway.Wegott omycel landt hewar den
openedandIwal kedinbef oresheclosed, Iwentto
mybedandIsatdown.Nel l
ycameandsatnextt o
me.
Nel
ly:
"Whatdi
dshewant?"
Me:
"Not
hingmuch"
Nel
ly:
"youar
eluckyyouareget
ti
ngoutt
omorr
ow.
Thi
na(us)whoareservi
ng30yearsi
npri
son"
Shel
ookeddown.
Me:
"Youmi
ghtgetpar
ole"
Nel
ly:
"Idoubt
."
Shel
ookeddown.
Me:"Nell
ywhatyoudidwasyousavingyoursel
f
fr
om t
hemonst er
.Heabusedyoutoomuchandi t
waseit
herhi
m oryou.Iam gladyouchoseyour
self
andgaveyoursonabett
erli
fe"
Nell
y:"(sigh)yeah.At
leasthei
snotangr
yatme
butunderstandsnowthathehasgr
own"
Me:
"yousee"
Nel
ly:
'Iam gonnami
ssyouBar
biegal"
Wel
aughed.
Me:
"youar
efor
war
dyouknow"
Welaughedandsatbackandtalkedli
keitwasthe
l
astdayoneart
h,Ir
eallyf
oundaf ri
endinher.
SomeoneIcoul
dtalktoaboutanythi
ngandheras
wel
l.
Iam UnathiKhumalobutorigi
nal
lyaNgema, I
haven'
tchangedmymar i
talnamebutonceIam out
Iwil
l.Asinglemotheroftwoandyettodiscover
whatthewor l
dhasin-st
oreformebeyondthese
pri
sonwal l
s.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t1

Ifeltl
ikeIwasbei ngaki d, achil
dt akenoutsidef or
thef i
rstt i
me.Ihel dont omydr essqui etti
ghtlyby
i
tsbot tom ends."Idon' teverwantt oseeyouher e
againUnat hi
"thesuper int
endentsai dtomebef oreI
depar ted.Iwi shtogobacki nsi
de, Iam scaredt hat
thewor ldwil
lswal l
owme.Iwal kedupt ohim and
hesmi ledandIst artedrelaxi
ngagai n.Iwi l
lforever
bei ndebtt othisman, hehasbeenspot t
ingme
throughmyt oughestt ime.Heengul fsmei nahug
andt heSuni snott heonlywar mt hingaroundher e
Itakeawi ffofhisCol ogneandi thitsmynost ril
s
andIknowt hatthisisreal.Ireall
yam outofpr ison.
Dad:
"howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam ok.If
eelokandscar
ed."
Dad:
"Don'
tbe,
ther
eisnot
hingt
obescar
edof
f"
HeopensthecardoorformeandIthankhi
m and
getinandheget
sinhissideaswel
landhedrives
off
.
Me:
"Howi
smom ?
"
Ilookathim andhei ssi
lent.Iwon'tl
ieIsawi t
comi ng,mymot herwasn'tmuchofagoodper son
andsowasIbutshewentbeyondandhur tmy
fatheri
ntheprocess.Yest heyarenotdivorcedbut
theyareseperate.Shehasn'tvisi
tedmeal lt
hose
yearsIwasinj ai
l.Itwasonl ydadandQamo
whoeverdid.
Dad:
"Shemovedt
oEast
erncape"
Inodded.
Me:
"At
leastyoudon'
tli
veal
onei
nthatbi
ghouse"
Hechuckl
ed.
Me:
"wel
lfr
om nowonyouwon'
t"
Dad:
"YesIwon'
t.Anel
eisnotathomet
hough"
Me:
"wher
eishe?"
Dad:"Andiswatookhi
m wit
hLet
ho,
theyar
eat
t
heirhousefort
heweekend."
Md:
"Let
ho?Howi
sshe?"
Iaskal
otofquest
ions.Icoul
dfeelat
eari
nmyeye.
Forsur
esheprobablythi
nksAndi
swaishermot
her
.
Dad:"sheisgr
owi
ngwel
l.Ver
ymuchbubbl
y,she
doesvisi
t."
Hel
ooksatmef
orasecondt
henbackt
other
oad.
Dad:"Sheknowsyouar
ehermotherandAnel
eher
l
it
tl
ebrother
.Andi
swamadesur
esheknows"
Me:
"oh"
Ther
ewassi l
ence.Iturnedt heradi
oabitandthen
l
aidbacktomyseatandl ookedoutthewindow.
Ever
ythi
ngissti
llt
hesamej ustalit
tl
echangesher
e
andther
easwel l
.Ifeel
likeIjustcameoutofmy
ownshell
.
Dad:
"Wewi
llgoandhaveLunchbef
orewego
home"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
obei
nacr
owdt
oday.Maybe
t
omor
row"
Dad:
"Ok"
Il
ookbackoutt
hewi
ndow.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

"
Zikhal
i!"
Icar
ryonl
ooki
ngt
hrought
hewar
drobeandst
il
lno
answer
.
Me:
"Hai
bot
hischi
l
d"
Iwalkoutofourbedr
oom andIwenttot
heirroom
andIcouldheregi
gglesandsomeonehushing
them.
Me:
"Iwon'
tbuyahappyamealf
oryou"
Lethogotoutf
ir
stf
rom herhi
dingpl
acewhi
chwas
thewardrobe.
Let
ho:
",MommyIam her
e."
Me:
"Getdr
essedLet
howher
ear
eyourbr
other
s?"
Let
ho:
"Anel
egetouti
fyouwantahappymeal"
Hegotoutf
rom undert
hebed.
Me:"youar
egonnadi
rt
yyour
sel
f,haveyou
f
ini
shedeat
ing?"
Henodded.
Me:
"Zi
khal
i!"
Hegotoutf
rom behi
ndt
hedoor
.
Me:
"You"
Zi
khal
i:
"mahwewer
ejustpl
ayi
ng"
Me:"ti
meforpl
ayi
nglat
er.Youneedt
ogetdressed
andIhavet
odri
veyoubothtoyourgr
andf
ather'
s"
Anel
e:"Butwesawhi
m yest
erday"
Me:
"Fr
idaybaby"
Iwi
pedhi
sface.
Me:
"nowgochange"
Theyal
lrushedout
.Iwalkedoutofthebedroom
andwenttoourbedroom andIbentdownandtook
t
heshoesandworethem bef
oreIwal
kedoutand
wentdownt
hestai
rs.
Me:
"hel
lomah.Haveyouseenmyhusband?
"
MaRose:
"Hei
sinhi
sst
udy"
Me:
"okt
hankyou"
Iwalkedt
ohi
sstudyandIknockedbef
oreopeni
ng
andhewasonthephone.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"canwet
alkl
ater,
mywi
feneedsme"
Ismi
ledb
Nt
ethel
elo:
"yeahsur
e."
Hedr
oppedt
hecal
l
.
Me:
"Iam j
usther
etot
ellyouwear
eleavi
ng"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"for?"
Me:
"Iam t
aki
ngLet
hoandAnel
etobabuNgema"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"It
'sbeenaweekendsugarpl
um "
Me:
"Unat
hii
sout"
Hel
ookedatme.Hej
ustchuckl
ed.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa"
Me:
"nomatt
erwhatNtet
hel
eloshewil
lal
waysbe
t
hei
rmot
her,shewasevent
uall
ygoi
ngocomeout"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam comingwi
thyou.Ican'
tlett
hat
womanharm mywi f
eandChil
dren"
Me:
"ok"
Ijustl
ethi
m bebecauseheisalwaysst
ubborn
abouttheUnat
hisit
uati
on.Hetookhiscarkeys
andIwalkedoutandwalkedupthestai
rs.Igoti
n
theirr
oomsandtrywereallr
eadyandpacked.
Me:
"comedaddyi
swai
ti
ngdownst
air
s"
Theywalkedoutandwentdownt hestair
s.Ifit'
s
notmyschoolkidsit'
smykids,i
t'
squietdrai
ning
someti
mes.Wesai dourgoodbyestoMaRoseand
Ntet
helel
owasal r
eadyreadyint
hecarandsoas
theki
ds.Igoti
nandhest art
edthecaranddr ove
off
.
Me:
"soyouar
eangr
yatme?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"iam not"
Me:
"mmmh"
Let
ho:
"mommyourBi
gMacs"
Me:
"Happymealpr
incess"
Zi
khal
i:"Iam bi
gli
keyou"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youar
eonl
y4"
Anel
e:"Iam 4daddy"
Hel
if
tedhi
s4f
inger
s.
Let
ho: "yesyouare4andwear
e4andyouare
smallandwear ebig,
wewil
lbe5sooni
sn'
tit
mommy? "
Me:
"yesbaby"
Isankont
heseat
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

WegothomeandDadpar kedhi
scarandwegot
out
.Wewal kedinsi
deandIwasstart
ledbya
sur
pri
se!Beingshouted.
Dad:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?"
Qamo:"Iknewyouwoul
dn'
tdoanyt
hingsoMi
na
smal
lsist
erdi
dthi
sformybi
gone"
Wehugged.
Qamo:
"wel
comehome"
Me:
"thankyou"
Zama:
"Imi
ssedyou,
Yho"
Wehugged.Londi ewasevent
hereandIcouldsee
herfakesmiledbutIdi
dn'
tcar
e.Notalotofpeopl
e
werethere.
Me:
"thankyouever
yone"
Qamo:
"Dad?
"
Dad:
"youcanpar
tyonbutdon'
tbr
eakanyt
hing"
Wel
aughed.
Qamo: "wear
eol
denough.Comel
et'
sgetyou
changedup."
Shepul
ledmeupthestai
rs.Wegoti
nmyold
bedr
oom andi
twassti
llt
hesame.Al
lpi
nkand
puf
fedoutjustl
ikehowIlef
titwhenIwentt
o
var
sit
y.ir
anmyf inger
sonthestudyt
abl
e.
Qamo: "Iam sohappyyouareout
.Theki
dshave
beenaskingaboutyouevenandmyhusbandas
well"
Me:
"oh"
Qamo:"sodet
ail
s.Tel
lmewhoist
hef
atherof
Anel
eandhowdidyoumeethi
m"
Me:
"someguyi
njai
l"
Qamo:
"hei
sst
il
lint
her
e?"
Shefi
nall
yt ookoutsomecl
othes.Jeanwi
that
op
andsandals.
Me:
"no,
hel
eftbef
oreIgavebi
rt
htoAnel
e"
Qamo:
"doesheknow?"
Me:
"no,
Ineedt
obat
hagai
n"
Iwalkedtomybathroom andclosedthedoorand
closedmyeyesbreathingi
nandoutbef oreIwent
totakeashower,Istayedi
nthereforsomet i
me
beforeIcameoutandcosmeticswereal r
eady
pl
aced.Il
otionedandgotdressedandcombi
ngmy
af
ro.Iwalkedoutaftert
hatandwentdownthe
st
air
stojointheothers,
Iwasn'ti
naladymoodbut
Ij
usthavetosuckitup.
Zama:"youl
ookbeaut
if
ul,
Ihaveneverseenyou
nat
ural"
Me:
"thankyou"
Londi
e:"t
hisi
snotyou,
itst
oosi
mpl
eandbor
ing"
Me:
"Pr
isonchangedme"
Shel
aughedabi
t,Il
ookedather.
Me:
"anyt
hingf
unny?"
Londi
e:"notmuchfr
iend.Wej
ustneedt
ogo
shoppi
ngandgetyouback"
Zama:"so..
.yousonheissoeverador
abl
e.Ithi
nk
hi
m andCebowoul dmakeagoodcoupleut
hini
mli
ngani(whatdoyousay?)"
Il
aughandt
akeagl
assof
fwi
ne.
Me:"thatwoul
dbewonder
ful
.Ican'
twai
ttosee
yourdaught
er"
Londi
ejustkeptquiet
.Wecar
ri
edonwi
thourpar
ty
andthedoorbellr
angandQamowentt
oopen.
Qamo:
"ohheyguys."
Sheopenedt
hedoorwi
derandNtethel
elowit
h
Andi
swaandtheki
dswalkedi
n.Ioutmywi negl
ass
downtheywal
kedt
owardsme.
Let
ho:
"OursecondmommyAnel
e!"
If
eltt
ear
sinmyt
heyengul
fedmyl
egs.
Andi
swa:
"hi"
Nt
ethel
eloj
ustgavemeast
are.
Me:
"Hi"
Iwentdownt othei
rlevel
.Itouchedherfaceand
shehasabi tofmeandal otofNtet
hel
elobutAnele
l
ooksjustl
ikehisfat
her .
Anel
e:"hel
lomommy"
Ihuggedt
hem bot
h.Myki
ds.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Isai
dwi
tht
ear
sst
reami
ngdownal
leyesnowonus.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t2

Ibroket
hehugandtheywipedmytear
s.Iwasso
happytofi
nal
lyseet
hem andtheyl
ooksover
y
grownaswell.
Let
ho:
"whyar
eyoucr
ying?
"
Andi
swa:
"Mommyi
shappyt
oseeherbabi
es"
Anel
e:"wear
en'
tyourbabi
est
oo?"
Andi
swa:
"youar
e"
Me:
"(sni
ff
)Thankyou"
Andi
swa:
"youar
ewel
come"
Ihuggedt hem again.Thisi
saver yoverwhel
ming
day.Ididn'tcarryonwi tht
hepartyi
ng,Andiswa
andNt et
heleloleftandIwaswi t
hmyki dsinthei
r
roomshel pingthem unpack.Theylookadorable
withLethoinstructi
ngAnelewheretoputwhatand
howt oputit.Anel eseemsliket
hequietonethan
Lethoaswel l
.Ifeelver
yhappyandr el
axedaswel l
,
thi
sallfeelssosur real
.
Letho:
"NoNel
edon'
tputt
heshoesl
iet
hat,
li
ke
thi
s"
Anel
e:"ok"
Shebendsandput
st hem t
hewayshewant
sthem.
Igocl
osert
othem andsitont
hefl
oor.
Me:
"canIhel
p?"
Letho:
"Mommycanyouhangt
hispr
incessdr
ess
forme.Car
efulwi
thi
t"
Igi
ggl
e
Me:
"ok"
,
Itakeherdr
essandhangi
tni
cel
yforherandwe
getdone.
Anel
e:"
,Iam t
ir
ed"
Let
ho:
"Mommycanwehavei
cecr
eam "
Me:
"uhm l
et'
sseei
fwehavesome"
Theysqueela"
yay!
"Bet
weeneachot
herandI
shakemyhead.
Me:
"st
ayher
eIwi
llbr
ingi
tup"
TheynoddedandIwentdownt hestai
rsandsti
ll
Qamoi sent
ert
ainingsomepeople.Iwalkpastthem
andgot ot
hekitchen.Ther
eisahelperandshei s
cleani
ngupnothingIguessbecauseitl
ooksclean
tome.
Me:
"hel
lomah"
Shesmi
ledl
ooki
ngatme.
Her:
"hi
"
Me:
"Iam Unat
hi"
Her:"Iknow.Yourf
atheral
wayst
alksaboutyou
,i
t'
snicetofi
nal
lymeetyou"
Me:
",
yout
oo.Uhm i
sther
eicecr
eam "
Shechuckl
ed.
Her:
"theyusedyouhuh?"
Me:
"Usedme?"
Her:
"Let
hoi
stheoneIknowwhoi
sbehi
ndt
hei
ce
cr
eam "
Shegoest
othef
ri
dgeandt
akesi
tout.
Her:"I
cecream i
sbannedforthem af
ter14h00,
Theybecometoohyperandit'
shardtogetthem t
o
sl
eep"
Me:
"Yhoi
nthatcase"
Shel
aughed.
Me:
"'
Thankyou"
Her:
",youar
ewel
come"
Inoddedbef
oremakingmywayupt
hest
air
sandI
coul
dhearLethot
alki
ng.
Let
ho:
"yousi
pAnel
esi
pnotdr
ag.Thi
sisahi
gh
cl
asst
ea."
Igoti
nther
oom.
Me:
"Ther
eisnoi
cecr
eam "
Let
ho:
"ther
eis,
Grandpaal
waysbuysi
cecr
eam "
Me:
"wel
lnott
hist
ime"
Hermout
hwasOshapedandshehadaf
rown.
Me:
"Iwi
llt
akeyououtf
ori
cecr
eam t
omor
row"
Anel
e:"andmeat
?"
Igotcl
osert
ohi
m.
Me:
"Andmeatboyboy"
Hesmi
led.
Anele:"MommysaidIhavetwomommiesand
daddies,wher
eismyotherdaddy?"
Me:
"I
..
.I
"
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay.
Me:
"l
et'
sgowat
chTVi
nmyr
oom "
Theygotof
fthei
rchai
rsandr
anout
.Isi
ghed.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Ntet
hel
elohas-
beenawful
lyqui
etsi
ncewel ef
t.I
l
ookbackatZikhal
iandheseemsdepressed.
Me:
"Doyouwantt
ovi
sitSi
yanda?
"
Il
ookathi
mthenNt
ethel
elo.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iwi
lldr
ophi
m of
f"
Me:
"thankyou"
Hewassi
lentagai
n.Iwi
llj
ustl
ethi
m bef
ornow.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Theyst ar
tedgett
ingsleepyandIbat hedthem
beforetheywenttosleepaftereati
ng.Thyar ever
y
wellmanner edandIreall
yhavet othankAndiswa
forthat
.Sher eal
lyst
eppedupandi satruewoman.
Ikissedthei
rcheeksandl ookedatthem sleepi
ng
foranhourorsobef or
eIwenttomyr oom.Ismi
led
asIsatont hebedandlai
donit.If
eelli
ght
erandok
, Iam goi
ngtotryandbesbett
erpersonformy
kidsifnotme.Theydeservet
hat.
.
.
Iwokeupi nthemor ningandi twasabout10am , It
s
beenlongsinceIsleptonaver ycomf ortablebed,
notbeingwokenupandsl eepingwi thoneeyeopen
outoffearaswell.Ifeelwellrested.Igotof fthe
bedandIwentt owashmyf aceandbr ushedmy
teet
hbeforeIwalkedoutofmybedr oom.If irst
star
tedwiththekidsbutt heywer en'tinthei rroom.I
wentdownt hestairsrunningandl ookingf ort hem.
Me:
"Anel
e!Let
hokuhl
e!"
"I
ntheki
tchen!"
Ir
ushedtotheki
tchenandt
heywer
eeating.Dad
wasfeedi
ngthem cer
eal
sandIsmi
led.
Dad:
"Mor
ning"
Me:
"mor
ning"
Let
ho:"gobat
hmommyweneedt
ogobef
oreour
cur
few"
Me:
"ok"
Dad:
"cal
m down.Theyar
enotgonnal
eaveyou"
Ibr
eat
hedout
.
Me:
"ok"
Iki
ssedt
hei
rcheeks.
Me:
"weneedmoneyf
ori
cecr
eam "
Isai
dlooki
ngatdad.
Dad:
"andyouar
eback"
Ichuckl
ed.
Dad:
"Iwi
llgi
veyoumoney"
Me:
"ok"
Iwenttomakesomecer ealsandateaswellbefor
e
Iwenttotakeabat hbecauseLethowasimpatient
.
AfteroneItookoutoneofmyol dclot
hesandIgot
dressedinthem ,
adr esswithsandal
s.Icombed
myhai randtookasmal lbagandIwalkedout.I
wentdownt hest
airsandtheki
dswereready.I
guesstheycandressthemsel
vesordadhelped
them.Ithi
nk.
Me:
"youar
eready?"
Theynodded.
Dad:
"iwi
lldr
opyouof
fatt
hemal
l",
Me:
"thankyou.Come"
Itookthei
rhandsandwewalkedout
.Thisisgoi
ng
tobeaf unday.Wegoti
nthecarandeveryonewas
buckledupbefor
edaddroveoff
.
Dad:
"Iseeyouar
eembr
aci
ngyournat
uralsel
f"
Me:
"Pr
isonf
orcedme"
Wel
aughed.
Me:
"butIl
ikei
t.I
t'
sli
keIam abor
nagai
n"
Dad:
"Maybeyoushoul
djoi
nchur
ch"
Me:
"Ishoul
dconsi
dert
hat"
Let
ho:
"mommyhowol
dar
eyou?"
Me:
"ol
denough"
Let
ho:
"Iam 5"
Me:
"Iknow"
Anel
e:"youl
ieyou4"
Me:
"don'
tfi
ght"
Theybecamesi lent
.WereachTheGr ovemalland
theki
dsgotat adbitexci
ted.Iwasexci t
edaswell.
Dadgavemehi scardandwar nedmeaboutt he
l
imitbutIassuredhimtheoldUnat hiisgone.I
spendwi sel
ynow, hegavemeal ookbefore
nodding.Wegotoutandsai dourgoodbyesandwe
wentinsidethemall.IwasholdingLethowhowas
holdi
ngAnel esonoonecoul dgetlost.
Me:
"wher
edowest
art?"
Let
ho:
"Bar
bie"
Me:
"movi
esi
tist
hen"
Wewal kedtotheci nema.Ifeltoverwhel
medbeing
i
nacr owd.Iwant edust otur
nbackbutt he
excit
ementont heirfaceswouldn'tl
etme.Wewent
andor deredti
cketst ogoandwat chanot her
animatedmovi ebecauseBar biewasn' ti
n-st
oref
or
Letho.Themovi estar
tsinanhoursowewent
aroundthemal landalsogotachancet obuya
phoneaswel l.Wewentt obuysomecl othesforus
andIboughtanewduvet sbecauset hepinkinmy
room andpurpleisscaringme.Iam ol dnowand
myr oom shouldn'
tbeliket hat
.Aft
ert hatwewentto
watchthemovi es.I
twasr eall
yfunandpr icel
essto
hearmyki dslaugh.Whowoul dhavet houghtme,
Unathiwouldlovekidsthismuch.Themovi e
fi
nishedandwewal kedoutoft hecinema.They
couldn'
tstopgiggli
ng.
Me:
"youhungr
y?"
Let
ho:
"icecr
eam !
"
Me:
"okl
et'
sgogeti
cecr
eam "
Theysqueel
ed,wegotat roll
eyandt
heywer
e
i
nsideandIpushedthem around.Wewentt
oget
someicecream andwenttogoandeat.
Anel
e:"mommyLet
hospi
ll
edi
cecr
eam onme"
Me:
"Let
hosaysor
ry"
Let
ho;
"sor
ry"
Ibumpedi
ntosomeone.
Me:
"oopsIam sor
ry"
Theladytur
ned.Shewaswear i
ngfor
mally,hai
r
ti
edupandheels,redlipst
ickandal
lwit
hglasses.
Itl
ooksfaketome, notinabadwaybutsheseems
off
.
Lady:
"You.
..
..
"
Someonecamet
oher
.Aguyi
nasui
thol
dinga
bri
efcase.
"Wehavet
ogo"
Il
ookedathim properl
yandIj
ustf r
oze.Hedidas
wellandl
ookedinsidethet
rol
ley.Ij
uststar
ted
pushingi
t.
"Unat
hi"
Lady:
"Mj
it
aasambe(manl
et'
sgo)
"
Icarr
yonpushi ngandgotothesideandIturn
aroundandtheyareoutofsight
.Securi
tyguysand
peoplef
rom thebankgetoutandtheylookaround.
Iholdmychestandmyhear tisbeati
ngfast.
Let
ho:
"mommyar
eyouok?"
Shel
ickst
hei
cecr
eam of
fherhands.
Me:"yesbaby.Let
'sgobuysomef
oodandgo
home"
Theynodded.Ipushedt
het
rol
ley.I
fdi
dn'
twantt
o
behereanymore..
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t3

Wear r
ivedhomeandthekidsraninsi
de.Dadwas
onhislaptopwhi
lewat
chingsomeTVaswel landI
haven'
tseenthehel
perasyettoday.Iwal
kedpast
hi
m andwentupt hest
air
sbuthecal l
edme.
Dad:
"Am Iast
atue?"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Dad:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Me?YesIam "
If
akedasmi
le.
Dad:
"mmhok"
Me:
"Whenar
etheyl
eavi
ng?"
Dad:
"youwantt
hem f
or?"
Me:
"No.Iam j
ustaski
ng"
Dad:
"Let
hol
iveswi
thherf
atherandAnel
ewi
thme
"
Me:
"okgoodt
hen"
Dad:
"youdon'
tmi
ndt
hatLet
hokuhl
eli
ves.
..
."
Me:
"shegr
ewupt
her
eandsheknowsherf
ather
mor
e."
Dad:
"ifyouar
eokwi
thi
t."
Me:
"Iam.Letmegoandputt
heset
henr
estabi
t"
Henoddedandwentbackt
ohi
slapt
op.It
ooka
st
epfur
ther
.
Dad:
"Unat
hi"
It
urned.
Dad:
",
nowt
hatyouar
eoutwhatar
eyougonnado?
"
Me:"Ihavebeent
hinki
ngaboutt
hat
.Iwantt
ost
art
abusi
ness.Abeaut
ybusiness"
Dad:
"Ifi
t'
sgoodenoughIwi
lli
nvesti
nit
."
Me:
"Iwi
llst
artwi
thmybusi
nesspl
ant
hen"
Dad:
"keepupt
hatat
ti
tude"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"Iwi
ll
.Letmego"
Iwalkedupt hestai
rsandwenttomybedr oom.I
threwtheplasti
csandpaperbagsont hebedandI
satonthefloor.Itookmynewphoneandl ai
doni t
.
Iinst
all
edsomef ewappsandstartednewaccount s
onsocialmedia.Iwentt oInst
agram andsear ched
forhim usi
ngthesur namebutIcouldn'tf
indhim at
all,what'
shisname.GodUnat hiyousleptwit
h
someoneyouhar dl
yknewhi sname.Iwentt o
Facebookandsear chedusinghi ssurnameaswel l
andnot hi
ngIt henusesedhis'name' andIfound
theladythatIsawtoday.Ipressedonherpage.
MmhWendyi sthenameoft helady.Iscrol
ledto
herfri
endsandt her
ehewas.Icl ickedandgoton
hispageandhi snamei sdi
splayed.
Me:
"Li
ndani
Ngomane"
Iwasdi
stur
bedbyaknock.
Me:
"yes?"
Isatup.
Dad:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Iam f
ine.Iwi
llbet
her
ewi
tht
heki
ds."
Dad:
"Ij
ustcheckedt
hem.Theyar
easl
eep."
Me:
"oh"
Ikeptquietandaf ewmoment shelef
t.Il
aidback
downandscr ol
ledthr
oughhispage.Not
hingmuch
i
sdisplayedandseemsl ikeheisti
ghtwit
hthi
s
Wendywomanaswel l.Ifoundmysel
fbit
ti
ngmy
bottom li
pjustinthoughtsofwhatusedt ogodown
i
npr ison.Thosewer egreatmoment .Icheckedhi
s
rel
ationshipstat
usandi tsai
dInar el
ati
onship.He
hasbeenf orthepast5year s.Ifel
tbummedandI
j
ustl ockedmyphoneandsi ghedwhilel
ookingup
tother oof
.Itwasj ustf
unandgamesUnat hidon'
t
thi
nkabouti t.Ital
kedmysel f
.
.
.
-
--
--
WewalkedintheRDPhouseandIt
hrewt hebr
ief
caseonthecouchandt
ookofft
heblazerand
unti
edthet
ie.
Wendy:
"Youal
mostgotuscaught"
Me:
"butIdi
dn'
t"
Wendy:
"Nx"
Ithr
ewtheti
eonthecouchandopenedthebr
ief
case.It
ookoutafewhundredsandshedi
dthe
same.
Wendy:
"(smi
li
ng)Eyiwena(you)
"
Me:
"Iknowmygame"
Wendy:
"Whatdi
dyoudoaf
terIl
eft
?"
Iputt
hemoneybackandIcl
osedt
hebr
iefcase.
Me:
"that
'smyownt
ri
ck"
Herphoner angandshet ookitgoingtothe
bedroom area.Wehadt olaylowabi tbef
or ewe
candoanyt hingel
se.R400000bet weent hetwoof
us.Isatont hecouchandputmyhandsonmyl egs.
Idon'tknowi fmyimaginati
onwaspl ayi
ngwi thme
whenIsawawomanl ikeUnat hiwit
htwoki ds,the
l
asttimeIrememberUnat hihadadaught ersothat
can'
tbeher.Ori sit?Wendycomesbackout .
Wendy:
"Thehei
stI
sgonnabedonet
oni
ght"
Me:
"meandyouar
elayi
ngl
ow"
Wendy:
"yeahAxewi
llt
akecar
eofi
t"
Inoddedasshet
ypedonherphone.
Wendy:
"Ugr
and?(Ar
eyouok?)
"
Me:
"yeah"
Sheputherphonedownandsatonme.
Wendy:
"Webaggedsomemoney.Let
'scel
ebr
ate"
Sheki
ssedmyl
ipsandIhel
dherwai
st.
Me:
"whatdoyouhavei
nmi
nd?"
Wendy:
"thi
s"
Shestoodupandsatonmewhil
efacingmeandI
ki
ssedherassheki
ssedme.Isl
ight
lypushedher
off
.
Me:
"Iam noti
nthemoodt
oday"
Wendy:
"youal
waysi
nthemood."
Me:
"wel
lnott
oday"
Igotupandt
ookt
hecarkeys.
Wendy:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"
Me:
"Ineedt
ocl
earmyhead.Iwi
llbeback"
Iwal
kedout
.
Mynamei sLindaniNgomanebutsomeknowme
asRazor,ImetUnathiinpr
ison.Whatwehadwas
supposedtobejustfunandgamesbutformeit
didn'
tendt
hatway, Idon'
tknowhowmanyt i
mesI
havestoppedmyselffr
om visit
ingbef
oreor
commi t
ti
ngcrimeswithevidenceandjustget
myselfbackinpri
son.CrazyIknow.Ijustneedt
o
knowifwhatIsawI swhatIsaw.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*

Theki dswer ereallytir

edbecauset heyar esl
eeping.
DadandIat et
henhewentt ohisstudyt odosome
wor k.Ialsogotabi tbusywi thdoingabusi ness
plan.Ikeptonst oppi ngmysel ff
rom sendinga
fri
endr equesttoRazor .Real l
yIam t ryi
ng,what
am Igonnasay?Ij ustcl osedmyeyesandsent
thatrequestandputmyphoneawayandcar ri
edon
withwhatIwasdoi ng.Igotupandwentt othe
kit
chent ogetsomewat erandcamebackandt r
ied
towor kbutmymi ndwasn' tt
here.Icheckedmy
phoneandhej ustinboxme.Idon' tknowwhybutI
justsqueel edandt ri
edt ocont ai
nmysel f.Unathi
thismani sinarelati
onshi p, t
heinnergoodmesai d
butt
heotherbadmesai
dumuntuuyagudluzwasi
si
(youremoveaper
sonsi
ster)
.Iopenedi
t.
Razor:
"Hi"
It
yped.
Me."hi"
Ihel
dmyphoneclosetomeanditpi
nged.Il
ooked
ati
tandheansweredsoqui
ckl
y.
Razor:
"CanIgetyournumber?"
Isi
ghedandhesi t
ated.Shoul
dIgivei
ttohi
m?
Overeveryt
hingheneedstoknowhehasason
Unathi,
theinnermesaidagain.
Me:
"Ok"
Isentitandhehasseent hemessage.Idr inkthe
waterandst ar
ttostandupandpaceupanddown
nervous.Hewon' tcallortextmet odayr
ight?My
phoner anganditwasanunknownnumber .I
twas
him .Myhandswer eshaki ngandIwast ooner vous
toanswer .Idi
dn'
tanswert il
litst
oppedandt henI
breathedout.Whatam Igonnasayeven?
Me:
"Ohhi,
yesi
tsbeenyear
s.Youhaveason"
Isaidwhi l
ewal ki
ngupanddown.That '
sst upi
dto
theleast.I
trangagainandIl ookedatitbefore
breathingoutandIanswer edit.Ikeptquiet
becauseIdi dn'
tknowwhatt osaybutIcanhear
him breathattheotherendoft hephone.
"
Unat
hi"
Ifel
tsuf
focat
edandner
vous.Isatdownont
he
couch.
Me:
"h.
..
Hi"
Hebreat
hsout,
it'
ssosi
mpl
eyeti
tdoest
hingst
o
me.
Razor:
"Whathappened?"
Ikeptqui
et.Idon'
tevenknowhowt
oanswert
hat.
Razor:
"Iwantt
oseeyou"
Me:
"Mshi
ka"
Hechuckl
edandIj
oinedhi
m.
Razor:
"youst
il
lremember?"
Me:
"(sof
tl
y)howcanIf
orget?"
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"yes"
Razor:
"canIpl
easeseeyou?"
Me:
"youdi
dtoday"
Razor:
"Iwantt
opr
oper
ly,
Imi
ssyou"
Hemissesme?Asaf r
iendorwhat?Whoam I
ki
ddi
ngcauseIwantt
oseehim aswel
l
.
Me:
"ok.Iwi
llsendt
headdr
ess"
Razor:
"ok.Ihavesomet
hingt
otel
lyou"
Me:
"met
oo"
Razor:
"Iwi
llseeyou"
Hehungup.Ilookedatt
henumberandsavedhi
s
numbersosweetl
y.
Me:
"ohmyGod"
Il
aidbackont
hecouch.If
eell
ikeat
eenageral
overagai
n.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t4

Isatupfrom t
hecouchandcont
ainedmysel
f.I
senttheaddr
ess.
Me:
"Unat
hiconcer
ntr
ateabi
t."
IbreathedoutandIst art
eddoingwor kagai
n.Iwas
getti
ngabi toft hi
sbusinessplanthingandifdad
l
ovesi tthenhewi lli
nvestinme.Ican' twai
ttodo
somet hi
ngandmaki ngpeoplelookprett
yandfeel
goodaboutt hemselves.Timewentbyandmy
phoner ang.It ookitandlookedatitabitanditwas
him.Ibr eathedoutbef oreIanswered.
Me:
"Hi"
Razor:
"Iam out
sidet
hegat
e"
Me:
"Iam comi
ng"
Razor:
"ok"
IhungupandIst oodupandst art
edcl eani
ngup.I
ranupthestair
sandIsni ffedmyar mpit
sandI
wenttothebathroom andwett het owelwithsoap
andwipedmyPr i
vat
ear ea.Heyyouwoul dn'tknow
i
fit'
ssmellsornotevent houghIbat hedwhenwe
cameback.Iwi pedmyar mpitsandIputr ollon
andIchangedt osummerpyj amasandIspr ayed
smallperf
umeonmej usttosmel lniceandonmy
neck.Iroughenedbutmadei tneat.Myhai rtobe
exactandthenVaseli
newast hefinaltouch.
Me:
"per
fect"
Isaidlookingatmyr efl
ection.Itookt hesilkgown
andwor eitbef orerunningdownt hest air
s.I
checkedt hecoastandIr anoutandopenedt he
gatewi t
hmyr emot eandIt henstartedwal king
slowlycatchi ngmybr eathjustsot hathewon' tsee
thatIwasr unning.Hewasst andingbyacarwhi le
smoki ngandi tsmel l
edlikeweed.Ist oodabout
3met ersawayf rom him andhet hrewi tawayand
puthishandsi nhi spocketashel eanedagai nt he
car.
Razor:
"Hi"
Ibr
eat
hedout
.
Me:
"Hi"
Helookedatmebefor
esmili
ng.Idon'
tknowifi
t'
s
theni
ghtti
meormyeyesbuthelooksquiet
handsomethanbef
ore.Gr
ownIshouldsay.
Razor:
"Icanseeyouhavegr
ownani
ncht
all
er"
Me:
"ani
nchi
ssmal
l"
Razor:
"justani
nch"
Hemadeahandgestur
eofhowt
allIam nowand
puti
tbacki
nsi
de.Ismil
ed.
Razor:
"CanI
..
."
Hest eppedcloserandengul fedmei nahugandI
wast akenabackbef oreIhuggedhi m back.Itfel
t
warm andwel comedaswel l
.Irestedmyheadon
hischest,Everythi
ngjustever ykindoff eeli
ngIhad
forhim cameovermebutt het houghtthathei si
n
arelati
onshipmademequi etsadIwon' tlie.It
'st
he
sadt r
uththough, heisjustmybaby' sfather.
Me:
"youcanl
etgonow"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Sor
ry"
Webrokethehugandl
ookedateachot
her,her
an
hi
sfi
ngersonmycheekbefor
eheputhishandsin
hi
spockets.
Razor:
"canwet
akeadr
ive?Weneedt
otal
k"
Il
ookedback.
Me:
"uhm sur
e"
Heopenedt hedoortohiscarandIgotin.HowI
usedtolovethiski
ndofcaryear sago,Volkswagen
butIguessitwasmost lybecauseIwasmar ri
edto
amanwhohadshar edatVolkswagenandowned
somebr anches.Hegoti nandIbuckledupbef or
e
hedroveoff.Musicplayedsoftl
yinthecarbutI
coul
dheart hewords.
"
Somet
imesIwi
shyouknew
ButIdi
sgui
set
het
rut
h
IsayI
'
m happybut,
I
'
m st
il
lst
uckonus,
Mmhmmmhmmh
Doesyourmi
ndpl
ayt
hisgamet
o?
Thi
nk'
boutmeandyou
IguessI
'
llj
ustpr
etend
Unt
ili
tal
lmakessense,
mmhmmmhmmh
mmmmmh
Seeyouf
acet
oface
I
'
mthi
nki
n'boutt
hedaysweusedt
obe
ButIcan'
tmakei
tseem
ButIcan'
tmakei
tseem
Seeyouf
acet
oface
I
'
mthi
nki
n'boutt
hedaysweusedt
obe
ButIcan'
tmakei
tseem
ButIcan'
tmakei
tseem
Li
keIwantyou,
you
Eveni
fit
'st
rue
Eveni
fit
'st
rue
Iguessi
t'
soverdue.
..
..
..
"
Il
ookedathimthenfocusedonther
oad.Thi
ssong
ontheradi
oisreal
lyget
ti
ngtome.It'
sli
kei
t'
s
sayi
ngwhat'sonmymi ndatthemoment.
Razor:
"whendi
dyougetout?"
Hel
ooksatmet
enbackont
other
oad.Iam qui
et.
Me:
"yest
erday"
Henodsandf
rownsli
keheist
hinki
ng.Canwego
backt
othepr
isonmoments?
Me:
"whyam Iher
e?"
Ineedt
ogett
ohi
sint
ent
ionaboutt
his.
Razor:
"Iwanttoseeyou,youf
orbidmefrom
comingtoseeyouwhil
eyouwereinsi
de."
Me:"wehadastri
ctrel
ati
onshi
pbackthenandit
wasnotmenttobecarr
iedonwhenyouwer eout
.
Thatwoul
dhavemadeuscaughtfeel
ings"
Razor:
"woul
dn'
tyouwantt
ocat
chf
eel
ingsf
orme"
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Asinl
ikepleasest
opbecauseIwi
llj
ustbl
urtout
howIam feeli
ngaboutyou.
Razor:
"ok"
Ther
eissi
lenceandhekeepsondr
ivi
ng.Hedri
ves
i
ntoahoodaftersomet
imeandIsatupal
armed.
Razor:
"rel
axpr
incess"
Ihi
thi
sar
m pl
ayf
ull
yandhechuckl
es.
Razor:
"Ineedt
odosomet
hingaboutt
hathai
r"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Hesmi l
ed.Wegott oadescentl ooki
nghouse, so
peoplel
iveli
kethis.Notallhousesarethesame
somear edescentandsomear ebookaswel l
.I
guessifyouhaveagoodhousei nthetownship
areasyouhavemoney.Hepar kedhiscarandgot
outandcamet oopenedt hedoorf ormeandIgot
outandthankedhi m.Iheldmygowncl osertome.
WishIdidn'
tchangei fIknewIwoul dbeher e.
Razor:
"let
'sgot
otheshops."
Me:
"won'
twegetr
obbedatni
ght?"
Razor:
"No.Letmegochangef
ir
st"
Ilookedathi m andhewasst il
lfor
malshi rtandal l.
Inoddedandhepul ledmyhandandwewenti nside.
Itwascol djustlikehomesi ncemom l eftandsome
femi ni
netouchbutbadcol ourcombo.Isatont he
couchashewentt owher ethebedr oomsar eandI
j
ustl ookedaround, Isawonef ramedpi ctureandi t
wasofawomanandaboychi ld.Istoodupand
wentt oitandIt ookitandlooksati t
.Iknewt he
l
ittl
eboywasRazorbecausei t
'sli
keIam seei nga
mi niAneleifIcouldoutitthatway.
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?"
It
urnedandoutt
hephot
oaway.
Me:
"Iwasj
ustl
ooki
ng."
Razor:
"comel
et'
sgo"
Iwentt
ohi
m andwewal
kedout
.
Me:
"Iam i
nmypyj
amas"
Razor:
"it
'sgoodtoseeyououtoft
heor
ange
uni
formforachange"
Me:
"hahayouar
eful
lofj
okest
oday"
Hechuckl
edandtookmyhandandIl
ookedati
t.
Westar
tedwalki
ng.
Razor:
"thi
sismyhome"
Hesai
dpoi
nti
ngar
ound.
"EkseTa'
Razor!
"
Hewhi st
ledbackatt
heguyswhoweresi
tt
ingona
bigrockwhil
esmokingsomet
hing.Hi
seyesare
sexywhilesmall
.
Me:
"Wher
ewewer
e?"
Razor:
"mymother'
shouse.Ibui
lti
tforherbef
ore
shecoul
devenl
ivei
nit"
Iwassi
lent
.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Razor:
"youseet
hatpl
acewher
ether
ear
etwomen
out
side?"
Isawahouseandthereweret
wooldmenandthe
doori
sopen.Youcanevenseewhati
spl
ayingon
tvi
nsi
dethehouse.Theygr
eet
edandwealsodid.
Me:
"yeah"
Razor:"Iusedtogoever
ydaytowatchsomeTV
there.I
tusedtobethe3r
dhousethathadat
vint
he
neighborhood"
AndIusedt
owatchTVwheneverIwant
ed.HeckI
havet
vinmyroom si
nceIwas14.
Razor:
"Youseet
hatt
aver
n?"
Me:
"yes"
Razor:"Iusedtogoandstealwal
let
sfr
om anyone
whoIcanpi ckpocketsot
hatmymom wouldn't
worryaboutthenextmeal
.Iwas11backthen"
Me:
"wer
en'
tyoucaught?"
Razor:
"No"
Inodded.
Razor:
"andt
hatbi
ghouse"
Itwasadoublestoryhousewi
thawoodengar
age
andbeauti
full
ightsontheout
side.
Razor:
"Themanandwomanf rom t
herewere
for
medteacherandnur
se.Theybui
ltt
hatbeaut
if
ul
houseaft
erret
ir
ement"
Me:
"what
'st
hei
rst
ory?"
Razor:
"Iwouldneverfor
gethowgener
ousthey
were.Theyboughtthefi
rstcomf
ort
abl
ebedforus,
i
twaslikethebestt
hingever"
Ial
wayshadi tsi
mple.Thefir
stuncomf
ortabl
ebedI
havesleptonwasinprisoneit
hert
hanthatIhave
never
.
Me:
"youhadi
thar
d"
Iwastryi
ngt
ost
opmysel
ffr
om f
eel
ingpi
tyorsor
ry
forhi
m.
Razor:
"itwasbutyouknowwhatt
heysay"
Me:
"what?"
Razor:"i
ncommunit
iesl
iket
hese.Itt
akesavi
ll
age
t
or ai
seachil
dandIwouldsaythi
sveryhood
rai
sedme"
Ikeptqui
et
Me:
"itsur
edi
d"
Wegott
oashopandtherewerest
il
lguyssi
tti
ng
t
her
eandsmoki
ngatnight.Heboughtalol
li
pop
andgavei
ttomeandIl
aughed.
Me:
"wow"
Razor:
"OthiAmaskopaslaphongifunaukuf
aka
l
omlonguekasi(bri
ngsomeKi pkipsaswell,I
wanttoputthi
scoconuti
nt hehood.)"
Me:"unganij
wayeliangi
yenaumunt
u(don'
tbe
f
orward.Iam notacoconut
)"
Razor:
"Iam amazedyoucanspeakZul
usoni
cel
y"
Me:
"Howdi
dIbecomeUnat
hii
fIcan'
t?"
Hechuckledandsoast
hesell
erandhegotwhathe
needed.Hegavemeonepackofcol
ourf
ulpopcor
n.
Me:
"Thi
shasf
oodcol
our
ing"
Razor:
"justeatUnat
hi"
Iopenedt
heplast
icandstar
tedeat
ing.Wekepton
walki
ngar
ound.Thisi
snice.
Me:
"thesear
eni
ce,
butt
heykeepget
ti
ngst
ucki
n
myt
eeth"
Razor:
"Ihavet
oot
hpi
ckatt
hehouse"
Me:
"ok,
sowhatdi
dyouwantt
otal
ktomeabout?
"
Razor:
"If
orgot"
Hel
ookedatmeandInodded.
Razor:
"you?"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwher
etost
art"
Razor:
"justsayyouwantme"
Il
aughed
Me:
"don'
tgett
ooaheadofyour
sel
fpl
ease"
RazorNvokser
iousl
ywhatdi
dyouwantt
osay"
Ist
oppedwal
kingandsodi
dhe.
Me:
"youar
eaf
ather"
For
givemebutIdi
dn'
twanttogoar
oundthebush
andAloft
hatandIdi
dn'
tknowhowtoputit
.
Razor:
"wow"
Me:
"Ij
ustdi
dn'
tknowhowt
oputi
t"
Razor:
"soyouar
emeani
ng?"
Me:"wehaveasont
oget
her
.Thel
astt
imeyouhi
tit
,youl
eftasper
minmedude"
Ipl
ayf
ull
ypunchedhi
schest.Hesmi
led.
Razor:
"DamnIam st
rong"
Hepi
ckedmeupandIwassur
pri
sed.
Razor:
"Iam madatyou"
Me:
"youdon'
tseem l
ikei
t"
Razor:
"Unat
hiyoushouldhavetol
dmetheminuet
youknewyouwerecarr
yingli
tt
leNgomanei
nyou"
Me:"Iwasscaredandyouarei
narel
ati
onshi
p.I
knowhowfuckedupitisf
orsomewomant ocome
andhaveachil
dforyourmanandt
hatdamnhurts
so..
."
Razor:
"butt
hef
actr
emai
ns"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Razor:
"Imi
ssed?
"
Me:
"webot
hmi
ssed4year
s"
Razor:
"Ihavet
ogetyoupr
egnantasadoover"
Me:"no,pleaseputmedown.Idon'
twantyour
gi
rlf
ri
endstabbi
ngmealreadyIcansenseshei
s
fr
om thehood"
Hechuckl
edandoutmedown.
Razor:
"soonIwi
llhaveawi
feyandshei
scr
azy
andwil
d"
Myheartwasfor
m.Hewi l
lbeofft
hemar ketsoon.
Wherearet
hosepeoplewhogiveyoul ovepoti
ons.
Iam j
ustki
ddi
ngbutthethoughtofhim marryi
ng
anot
herwoman.IjusthavetoacceptIwasmentt o
beababymama.
Me:"
(fakesmile)Iam happyyouwil
lgetmar
ri
ed
nowthatIam out
.Iwouldn'
tmissi
t."
Razor:
"andnoobj
ect
ion"
Me:
"(l
aughi
ng)ohIam doi
ngt
hatf
orcont
rol"
Hechuckl
edandsmi
led.
Razor:
"ther
ewoul
dn'
tbeaneedf
ort
hat"
Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandwekeptonwal
king
ar
oundt
hehood.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t5

Iwasalmostdonewi t
ht hese"
Skopas"t hatRazor
sai
dtheywereandtheyar ereall
ynice.Myl ol
li
pop
wasinmygownpocket .Wewer edi
sturbedbyhis
phoneri
ngi
ngandIj ustknewi tmustbehi sgi
rl
.He
l
ookedatmet henputitaway.
Me:
"youcanansweri
t"
Razor:
"it
'snoti
mpor
tant"
Me:"agai
nIdon'
twanttobest
rangl
ed,
shotor
st
abbedbyyourgi
rl
fr
iend"
Razor:
"butyouseem t
ohandl
ethekni
fepr
ett
y
good."
Ist
oppedwal
king.
Me:
"it
'snotf
unny.Ir
egr
etdoi
ngt
hat"
Razor:"Soyoumeanyour egr
etget
ti
ngar r
ested,
youregretl
oosi
ngyourhusbandbecauseofthat,
youregretmeet
ingmeandmost l
yregrethavi
ngour
son"
Me:"youareput
ti
ngwordsinmymout
h.Ir
egr
et
st
abbingAndi
swathat
'sal
l."
Razor:
"doyour
egr
etmeet
ingme?"
Me:"Li
ndani
sayr
egr
etonemor
eti
meandIwi
ll
st
rangl
eyou"
Razor:
"howdoyouknowt
hatname?
"
Hef
rowned.
Me:"onyourFacebookpage.Ineedt
ogethome.
I
t'
sgett
ingl
ate"
Razor:
"canIseeyout
omor
row?"
Mw:"Idon'
tknow.IfyouwanttoseeAneleIcoul
d
t
alkt
ohim butmeandyoujustkeepastr
ictco-
par
ent
ingr
elat
ionshi
pfr
om nowonwar
ds"
Razor:
"whydoyoul
iker
ules?"
Me:
"ithel
pswi
thor
der
"
Razor:
"ist
her
ear
ulet
hatIcanhel
pmybaby
mamaout?"
Me:
"li
kewhathel
p?"
Hel
ookeddownandIal
sodi
d.
Me:"Nogetyourheadoutoft
her
e!Wear
epast
t
hat"
Razor:
"real
ly?"
Me:
"real
ly"
Hehookedhi
sar
m ar
oundme.
Razor:
"rememberwhatIsai
d"
Me:
"What?"
Razor:
"thatIwil
lvi
sityouatwor
kandfuckyoui
n
yourof
fi
cetil
lyourcl
ientsknowmyname"
Me:
"Iwi
lll
ockyouout
."
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"SaturdayIwi
llt
akeyout
oThembi
saat
somechisanyama"
Me:
"hai
bo"
Razor:
"fet
chyouat11am "
Me:
"weshal
lsee"
Wecar
ri
edonwal
kingt
ohi
shouse.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Itri
edtocallRazorandheisnotpi cki
ngup, hehas
beengonef orhoursandIhopehei snotblowingus
overwhereverheis.Icall
edmyf riendThabisaand
shewi l
lbearoundtheareainabi t
.Ihi dthemoney
aroundbeforeIwalkedoutlockingandt ri
edRazor
again.Ihavebeenwor ki
ngwi t
hhi m si nce
highschoolandgrowntolovehim.Hehasnever
saidhedoesl ovemebuthewoul dn'tjustbewi t
h
mei fhedidn'
tandInallt
hoseyear sofusbei ngon
andof fwit
houtnamingourr el
ationshipf i
nal
lyhe
madeitknownhei sinone5yearsagoandIwasso
happy.Nextupisthecowsthenringandwecoul d
getthi
sgangsterl
ifer
oll
ingfor
ever.Thabisat
ext
ed
meandt ol
dmewher esheisandIwal kedtot
hat
si
deandgoti nherTazzandwef i
stbumped.
Thabi
sa:
"howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam good"
Thabi
sa:
"wher
eisr
azor
?"
Me:
"wentonsomeer
rands"
Shenodded.
Thabi
sa:
"wher
ear
eweheadi
ng?"
Me:
"Hi
shome"
ShejustnoddedandIt
urnedupt
hemusi
cint
he
car
.
.
.
*
RAZOR*
Ihavejustdr oppedUnat hioff.I
twasr eallygoodt o
seeher, r
eallywasgood.Idon' tknowi fIlikeher
somuchori si tl
ovebutIt hi
nkit'
sl i
ke.The
dif
fer
encebet weenWendyandUnat hiist hat
Wendyi syourhei stri
deordi ebulletdodgi ngki nd
ofgir
lfr
iend.Kasiyouknow, noteIsai dgi rl
f r
iend
andUnat hiisusedt otheQueenl i
fe, Ijustwantt o
seehowshei sfrom thewayshewast onowi fshe
haschangedbutshei syourhaveaf ami l
ywi t
hki nd
ofpersonhenceIhaveasonwi thher .Let ype
yokumithisa(t hathet oimpregnat e).Ichuckl ed.
Wendyknowsmet hehoodi nmebutUnat hij ust
enter
edmywor l
dwor l
dofLi ndaniwhi chnoone
haseverent eredwi thme .Ikeptont hinkingand
myphoner angandi twasWendy.It ooki t.
Wendy:"AndthenwhyUngangibhel
eliaf
terama
mi
ssedcallamangaka(andthenwhydon' tyoucal
l
meaft
ersomanymi ssedcal
ls?)"
Me:"ei
shhadent
oyakhebengi
busy(Sor
ry,
Iwas
busy)"
Wendy:
"si
ncewhen?"
Me:"wher
edoyout
hinkt
hemoneywegetcomes
f
rom ?"
Wendy:
"Aski
es,
ungakwat
ike(sor
ry,
don'
tbe
mad)"
Me:
"ngi
zokushayel
alat
er(Iwi
llcal
lyoul
ater)
"
Idr
oppedt hecall
.Iputmyphonedownandcarr
ied
ondri
ving, sheshoul
dn'
tgetonmyner
vescauseI
wil
lcutherquickl
y.MaybeIshoul
d?
.
.
*
UNATHI*

IgothomeandIhadagoodt imeaswel landso

eversi
mple.Shoppingandexpensi vecarsand
rest
aurant
sarenott heonl
ythingt hatyoucanbe
happyandhavef unin.Myheadhur t
sabit,yes
Razordidmyhai rbefor
ewel eft.Ilookgoodshame.
Iwenttodri
nkwat erbefor
esneaki ngupthestair
s
andIgotinmyr oom andlockedt hedoorbefore
l
ayingonthebed.Iopenedmyphoneandl ookedat
myphoneandIwentt oWhatsappandscrol
led
thr
oughdad'sstat
usandit'
sallaboutbusi
ness.I
sawrazorpost
edjustnow.Icli
ckedandIsawt hat
Wendygirli
nmakeup.
Me:
"thatf
oundat
ioni
snott
her
ightcol
our"
Talkaboutjeal
ousy.Hiscapti
onwasagun, weir
d
shouldbeahear t
.Ikeptonlookingandsomear e
hispi
ctureswhicharetwoandher eal
lydoesl
ook
l
ikeAnele.Iwenttomygal ler
yandsentapi ct
ureof
meandAnel et
hatwet ookearl
ieronatthemallt
o
him.
Me:
"cr
opmeoutbuthel
ooksj
ustl
ikeyou"
It
ext
edhim.Hewasoff
li
ne.Icl
osedmyphoneand
j
ustr
oll
edint
hebedt
il
lIfel
lasl
eep.
.
.
Iwaswokenupbythesunpenetrati
ngi nmyeyes.,
Igotofft
hebedandwenttobat
h.Itlookedhot
outsi
deandIworeashor
tandtop.Imademybed.
FunnyIlear
nthowtomakeabedi nprison.Af
terI
wasdoneItookmyphoneandIwentt otheki
ds
r
oom andtheyweren'
tthere.IwentdownandIsaw
mahagain.Igr
eet
edandt heywer ei
ncostumes.
Me:
"mor
ning"
Let
ho:
"mommyal
adydoesn'
tsl
eept
il
l11am "
Me:
"Yhooksor
rynana"
Mahl
aughed.
Mah:
"br
eakf
asti
sready"
Me:
"ar
etheygonnaswi
m al
one?"
Mah:
"Iwi
lll
ookaf
tert
hem "
Me:
"ohok."
Anel
e:"comel
et'
sgo.Iam done"
Theygotof ft
hehighchairandoutthei
rdi
shesin
thesi
nk.Theywal kedout
.Iwenttogetmyf oodand
IatebeforeIwashedthedishesandwenttojoi
n
them ontheoutsi
de.Atl
easttheyhadfl
oat
son.
Let
ho:
"Bukamama(l
ookmommy)
"
Shesai
dpaddl
ingherl
it
tl
efeet
.Thej
oyt
hatwasi
n
met
oseet
hat
.
Me:
"Don'
tdr
own"
Let
ho:
"Iwon'
t"
Shecar ri
esonpaddl i
ng.It akeavideooft hem and
somephot ostoget
heri nthepoolandi ndivi
dualas
well.IsentAnele'
stor azor.MaybeIam bei ng
forwarddon'tyouthink?Hevi ewst hem andIgeta
bluetick.Ouch!OkIdeser vethatmaybeIshoul dn'
t
sendt hesekindofthings.Whatwi llWendysay?
Anel
e:"Gogol
ook"
Hewasr
efer
ri
ngt
oMah.heswam j
ustl
ikeLet
ho
Mah:
"haf
ana(wowboy)
"
Wecl appedourhands.Iwentt omyWhat sApp.
Damni t'
sdr yshame.Iscroll
edt hroughdad'sstat
us
andsameol dbusinessandseemsl i
kehegot
himsel fanewcont r
act,Icongratulatedhi
m andit
wentt or azor.AhthisWendyf acekodwaandi t'
sa
smal lvideo.Ohshemusthavet ooki t
.Sheist
alki
ng
torazorwhi l
ehei sunseenandt alkingaswell,
my
cli
tthrobsatt hesoundofhismor ningvoice.Ikeep
ongoi ngandapi ct
ur eofmewast her
e.From
yesterdayafterhedidmyhai randIwasf r
owning.
"It
'sbeensol ongsinceIsawt hi
suglyface"that
's
hiscaption.Icomment edthatheisuglyaswell.
Thenanot heraswel l
.It
'si
fusatt hemallt
heoneI
sent"awhol ewor l
di nonecenter"andtheonesI
justsentnowaswel lofAnele.
Anel
e:"mommy"
Me:
"yesbaby"
Anel
e:"angeni
leamanziendl
ebe(wat
erent
ered
myear)"
Me:"sor
rybabyt
il
tyourheadt
othesi
dei
twi
ll
comeout"
Henoddedanddi
dasIt
oldhi
m.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
29] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t6

AweekpassedandLet howi l
lonlycomeont he
weekends.Thatmyowndeci sionsbutIdon'tknow
boutNtethelel
o.Iwast aki
ngherbackandIt ooka
cab.Idon'tknowi fIcanstil
ldriveornot,,
wegotto
thei
rplaceandi t
'sbeautif
ul.Pr et
ori
aEast.We
rangthedoorbellandt hedooropened, Andiswa
washol di
ngar edpenandIswal l
owed.
Let
ho:
"Mommy"
Shehuggedherl
egs.
Andi
swa:
"heybabyhowwast
imewi
thyourMom ?
"
Let
ho:
"itwasf
unmommy"
Andi
swa:
"Iam happy.Hi"
Me:
"hi"
Andi
swa:
"comei
n"
Shewalkedi
nandwefoll
owed.Iwasscar
ed,the
l
astencount
erwehadIst
abbedherwhenIshoul
d
haveact
ual
lyst
abbedNt
ethel
elobutIam pastt
hat
.
Andiswa:
"don'
tmi
ndt
hepaper
s.Iam doi
ngsome
marking"
Let
ho:
"Iam goi
ngt
oputmybagmommy"
Andi
swa:
"ok"
Shewal
kedupt
hest
air
s.
Me:
"Andi
swaIam sor
ry."
Shel
ookedatme.
Me:
"can.
..
canwesi
tdown?"
Shenoddedandwesatopposi
teeachot
her
.Iwas
scar
ed.
Me:
"Iam sor
ryf
orwhathappenedbackt
hen"
Andi
swa:
"whathappened?"
Me:"(br
eathedout)Forst
abbi
ngyou,
itwasn'
t
yourf
aul
t..
..
."
Andi
swa:
"Youdamnr
ighti
twasn'
t"
Me: "IknowandIam sor
ryf
ort
hat,
Ishoul
dhave
neverdoneit
."
Andi
swa:
"Buti
t'
sdone."
Shel
if
tedhert
opupandst
oodup.
Andi
swa:"Nt ethel
elowantedi
tremovedbutIdi
dn'
t.
Youseethi
sscar?Iwant edyoutoseeitoneday
andthi
nktwicebef oreput
ti
nganotherwomanwhat
youputmethr ough"
Me:
"I.
..
."
Shepul
ledhert
opdown.
Andiswa:"youwrongedmeandnotyourkidst hat
's
whyIlovethem effor
tl
essl
yaswell
.Youdon'tknow
howmanyni ghtsIhavecri
edmyselft
osleepjust
becauseNtethel
elowantsusto'
tr
yagain'Iwas
goodasbar r
en"
Shewipedhert
ear
sandIf
eltr
eal
lybad.Regr
et
washedoverme.
Andi
swa:"But,t
hroughpr
ayi
ngandcr
yingGod
sawmethrough"
Me:
"Real
ly?"
Iwasconf
usedabi
t.Shesmi
led.
Andi
swa:"yes,Iam pr
egnantbutdon'
ttel
lanyone
asyet
.Iwantitt
obeasurprise"
Me:
"oht
hat
'swonder
ful"
Andiswa:"i
tis.UnathiIf
orgiveyou.If
orgaveyoua
l
ongt i
meago.Ievenmadepeacet hatyouwill
neverapol
ogisebutIwaswr ong,youjustdid.I
canseeyouar et
ryi
ngt ochangeIjusthopeyou
keepupthatnewsskin"
Me:
"Iwi
ll"
Let
hocamedown.Ist
oodup.
Andi
swa:
"saygoodbyeLet
ho"
Let
ho:
"byemommy"
ShehuggedmeandIki
ssedher
.
Me:
"byebabygi
rl"
Ist
oodup.
Me:
"canIgetheront
heweekends.?
"
Andi
swa:
"Iwi
llspeaktoNt
ethel
elobutIam sur
e
wecanwor
kwi
tht hat"
Me:
"thankyousomuch,
youar
ever
yki
nd"
Andi
swa:
"mypl
easur
e"
Shesmi
ledandwal
kedmeout
.
.
.
Igottotherest
aurant,
Iwasmeet i
ngwithZama
andLondieasIsaidIwillaf
terIhavedroppedLetho.
IwalkedinandZamawavedwehandi ntheairandI
wenttowardsthem andsatdown.
Zama:
"Youar
esl
ayi
ngt
hishai
r."
Shet
ouchedmyhai
r.
Zama:
"andver
yneat,
whodi
dit?
"
Me:
"Someol
dpr
isonf
ri
endwhogotoutf
ir
st"
Londi
e:"usuhlal
aneboshwamanj
e?(Youhangout
wit
hexprisonersnow?)"
Me:"Iam oneaswel
lthatmeanswebot
hhangout
ar
oundthem "
Zama:
"wel
lIl
ikei
t"
Icli
ckedmytongue.Thewait
ercameandwe
orderedandhewalkedof
f.
Zama:
"Socat
chupt
imemyl
adi
es"
Londi
erol
ledhereyes.
Zama:"Babydaddyf
orAnel
ewewantt
oknow,
is
henot?"
Londi
e:"f
orsureit
'ssomestreetguyfrom pri
son
whowassentencedforrobbi
ngaPaki stanshop,I
meanyoucoulddoanythingfordicki
npr i
son"
Istoodupandst
rangl
edher,Zamat
ri
edt
o
seperat
eusandshesucceeded.
Londi
e:"Iam gonnacallt
hepoliceonyouandyou
wil
lgobackinjai
lforassaul
t."
Me:
"Cal
lthem idar
eyou!
'
Iwasangr
y,mybl
oodwasboi
li
ng.
Zama:
"cal
m down."
Me:
"Idon'
teverwantt
oseeyouagai
n"
Londi
e:"sameher
eyeahgot
oyourl
owl
if
efr
iends.
"
Me:
"at
leastt
heyar
enotf
ake"
Itookmybagandwalkedout
.It
ookoutmyphone
andmadeacall
.Isatbyther
oaddown.
Razor:
"hel
lo"
Me:
"canyouf
etchme?
"
Razor:
"uhm ,
eishwher
ear
eyou?
"
Me:
"Iwi
llsendt
headdr
ess"
Razor:
"Ok"
IhungupandIsenti t
.Isatt
hereandpl ayedsome
games.That'showdrymyphonei s.Af t
ersome
l
ongmi nutesacarpull
edupinfr
ontofmeandhe
cameoutoft hecarweari
ngal
lblackleather,
l
eatherpants,j
acketbutabl
ackt-shi
rtMar si
t
sui
tedhim.
Razor:
"youok?
"
It
hrewmysel
finhi
sar
msandhej
usthel
dme.
Me:
"Ial
mostki
ll
edsomeone"
Razor:
"wedon'
twantyougoi
ngbacknowdowe?
"
Ishookmyhead.
Razor:
"nowcomel
et'
sgo"
Heki
ssedmyfor
eheadandwegoti
nthecarbef
ore
hedr
oveof
f.
Me:
"what
'supwi
tht
hel
eat
her?"
Razor:
"Iwasi
nthemi
ddl
eofsomet
hing"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry.I
twasver
yst
upi
dofmet
ocal
lyou
"
Razor:
"it
'sneverst
upi
dtocal
lmeDon'
tsayt
hat"
Me:
"it
'si
nappr
opr
iat
e"
Razor:
"i
t'
snot
"
Il
ookedoutsi
deandwewer
enotgoi
ngi
nthe
di
rect
ionofhome.
Me:
"'
wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme?"
Razor:
"Thembi
sa,
youdodgedmel
astweek."
Me:"Butyousai
dyouwer
eint
hemi
ddl
eof
somethi
ng"
Razor:
"itcanwai
t.Ineedt
ouset
hisoppor
tuni
ty"
Me:
"ar
ghyouar
eannoyi
ng"
Hechuckl
ed.Ir
est
edont
heseat
.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Razorwasinaquickr
ushof
faft
erwejustpull
ed
offanamazi
ngheisti
nahousei
nPret
oriaEast.
Thoseri
chpeopl
ekeepmoneyeveni
ntheirsafes.
Axe:
"chunekani?(What
'sgoi
ngon?)
"
Me:"angi
caviyazi,
Iwonderubaniobhel
elayo
Kangaka(Idon'
tknow,Iwonderwhocallshimthi
s
much)"
Axel
aughed.
Axe:
"ayiMi
naIam j
ustgl
adhelef
taft
erthehei
st
wasdoneot
her
wisewewouldhavebeendonefor"
Me:
"pl
easedomeaf
avour"
Axe:
"what?
"
Me:
"i
nvest
igat
eforme"
Axe:"
(laughi
ng)don'
tmakemel
augh.Let
'sgoan
havemeatwena"
Me:
"mxm "
Shepackedupthemoneyandwesoonl
eftheadi
ng
toThembisa.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Anotherone.Wel lIhaveneverbeentoa
chisanyamabef oresothi
sisanexperience.Seems
l
ikeever ywhereRazorgohei sknown.Hewas
greetedwher ewear eatt
hemoment .Hehel dmy
handandIhel dhisandhelookedatmyf i
ngers
thenf ornai
ls.
Razor:
"Ni
cenai
ls"
Me:
"thankyou"
Ishapedt
hem ni
cel
yandpai
ntedmynai
lsandt
oes
nai
ls.
Iwaswear i
ngayel l
owbobt ubejumpsuitthatwas
shortwi
thblacksandalsaswel l,hewenttoorder
themeatandaskedi ftheycouldbraaii
tbeforeWe
gotaplacetositdownandwedi d.hewassitt
ing
acrossme.Themusi cisni
ceaswel landsoothing
too.
"Uyabaziabant
uabahambangamaGTI?
Baf
ananabant
wanaabangenaeCr
echnj
e..
..
."
Il
aughedwhi
lel
ooki
ngatRazor
.
Razor:
"Don'
tlookatmel
iket
hat
"
Icoul
dfeelt
hemusi
candvi
beandal
l
"Baf
ikaFi
ka,
umdob'
uphel
il
e
Baf
ikaf
ikaumdob'
uphel
il
e
Baf
ikaf
ikaumdob'
uphdl
il
e
Baf
ikaf
ikaumdob'
uphel
il
e
Asi
thionef
igur
elady.
..
..
"
Me:
"thi
sisani
ceenvi
ronment"
Razor:
"Iam gl
adyoul
ikei
t."
Me:"it
's.Di
ff
erentreal
ly.Youeatandl
ist
ent
o
musicaswell.Nicemusi c"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor;
",i
sthatUnat
hi?"
Me:
"yessi
r"
Ibobbl
edmyheadal
it
tl
e.
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"mmh?
"
Hest oodupandheldmycheekbef orerest
inga
perkonmyl i
ps.Shi
verswentallovermybody.He
l
ookedatmeandIl ookedathim beforehewentin
againandkissedme, Irespondedtothekiss.Ouuh
Godi tfel
tgoodtoki
sshi m,somuch.
"Woahwoahwoah!
!"
Webrokeitandacarst
oppedandIsawAxeand
Wendy.Ist
oodup.
Me:
"Ihavet
oleave"
Wendycamefl
yingoutoft
hecar
.Sher
oughl
y
pushedme.
Wendy:
"uzomanqazabani
?(Whoar
eyouki
ssi
ng
?)
"
Razor:
"Wendy"
Me:
"Ihavet
oleave"
Wendy:
"Iam t
alki
ngt
oyou!
"
Shehel
dmyar
m andIyNkedi
t.
Me:
"don'
tdar
etouchme"
Wendy:
"orwhat?"
Razor:
"Wendycalm downandIam stil
lhavi
ng
l
unchwithUnat
hiIwillseeyoul
ater"
Wendy:
"razor!
"
Razor:
"Ihavesai
dmyf
inalwor
d.Ei
theryouj
oinus
i
npeaceofleave"
SomehowIf
eltsuper
ior
.
Me: "Nomaungafakipent
yenelaceyi
mist
arr
ing
(evenifyouputonalacepantyIam t
hemist
ress)
"
Isangal
ongt
othesong.
Wendy:
"whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
odo?Youwon'
twi
n
i
nthi
sgame"
Razor:
"Nanacomesi
tnextt
ome"
Ishookmyheadandsatnextt
oWendy.Shewas
pissedof
f.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
30] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t7

Razorst
oodupandwentt ogetthemeatleavi
ngus
bothsi
tt
ingtoget
her
.Iam nott
hatmuchscar ed.I
havesurvi
vedpri
sonwhosaidIcan'
tsurvivethi
s
womannextt ome?
Wendy:
"mmmh"
Me:
"somet
hingwr
ong?"
Wendy:
"youdon'
tknowme"
Me:"soaI
.Let
'snotunder
est
imat
eeachot
herhal
l
we?"
Wendy:
"razori
smyman"
Me:
"OhIknowt
hat"
Wendy:
"sowhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eki
ssi
nghi
m?"
Shehel
dmyar
mti
ght.
Me:
"heki
ssedme"
Iyankedmyar
m agai
n.
Me:
"getyourf
act
sst
rai
ghtnextt
ime"
Wendy:
"Nx"
Razorcamebackwi
ththemeatandawaiter
fol
lowedhi
m wit
habucketf
ullof
fdr
inks.
Razor:
"Ar
eweget
ti
ngal
ong?"
If
akedasmi
le.Wendyr
oll
edhereyes
Wendy:
"what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Razor:
"wear
ehavi
ngl
unch"
Me:"Ishoul
dleave.Anel
eispr
obabl
ywonder
ing
whereIam "
Ist
oodup.
Razor
:"Unat
hihl
alaphansi(Unat
hisi
tdown)
"
Me:
"but.
..
"
Razor:
"Ufi
kenamil
ahandUzohambanami.(You
camewithmehereandyouwi
lll
eavewi
thme) "
Wendy:
"Youar
ereal
lysayi
ngt
heset
hingsI
nfr
ont
ofme?"
Razor:
"youar
eher
eisn'
tit
?"
Shegavemeadeat
hst
are.
Me:
"Razor
..
."
Razor:
"si
tdown"
Isatbackdown.
Razor:
"kuphel
elephi
ukuthiuwei
star
ri
ng?(Wher e
di
ditendwhenyousai dyouaret
hemi st
ress?
)"
Me:
"yaphaphayazi(youar
efor
war
dyouknow?
)"
Hechuckl
ed.Hebr
oket
hemeatandat
eit
.
Razor:
"Iam j
ustaski
ng."
Me:
"Iwassi
ngi
ng"
Wendy:
"Ist
arr
ingsakho?HeehayiKadengangi
bona(i
t'
syourmist
ress?HeehIhaveseenthi
ngs
)"
Shecl
appedheronehand.
Razor:"Uf
unangithiust
arrwakho?(Youwantme
t
otellyouthatyoushareme?) "
Me:
"woahst
opIam notshar
inganyoneher
e"
Wendy:
"Ihadhi
mfi
rstsodon'
tcomeandt
ellme
t
hatwena"
Me:
"youseer
azoryouar
ecausi
ngconf
li
ct."
Razor:
"behaveWendybecauseyouwon'
tli
ket
he
out
come"
"Ineedt
obeal
onenow
Ri
ghtnow,
righther
ewi
thyou
Wi
thyou
Ineedt
ospeakt
oChar
lot
te
Ineedt
ocal
lChar
lot
te
Ineedt
otel
lchar
lot
te
Youdon'
tneedChar
lot
te.
..
."
Webot
hkeptqui
et.
Razor:
"Unat
hieat"
Hecutthemeatf
ormeandgavemeonepi
nkbot
tl
e
ofal
cohol.
Me:
"Ihaveneverhadadr
inkl
iket
hisbef
ore"
Wendyl
aughed.
Wendy:
"Pr
incessDi
ana"
Shecutt
hemeat
.
Razor:
"fi
rstt
imef
orever
ythi
ng"
Berni
niBlush.Lovet
hepinkwon'
tli
e.Igavehi
m
thebott
leandheopeneditwi
thhi
sfinger
sand
gavethebottl
etome.Itookasipanditwasni
ce.
Me:
"Il
ikei
t"
Hesmi
led.
Razor:
"ther
eismor
ewher
ethatcamef
rom "
Wendy:
"youar
ebot
hsi
ckeni
ng"
Shet
ookt
hemeat
sandst
oodup.
Wendy:
"Iwi
llseeyou.Don'
tthi
nkIwon'
tcat
chyou
"
Razor:
"Don'
ttestmeWendy"
Shelookedathi
m bef
orewal
kingt
owher
eAxe
di
sappeared.
Me:"wewerenotsupposedt
omakeherf
eel
uncomf
ort
able"
Razor:
"Youst
art
edi
tbyyour'
si
ngi
ng'
."
Irol
ledmyeyes.Hecameandsatbymysi
dehe
tookthemeatandbr
okei
tandf
edme.
Me:
"Iam notachi
ld"
Razor:
"Myboo"
Hesangt
hatandIchuckl
ed.
Me:
"Ievenf
orgotyoucansi
ng"
Razor:
"Youhaveent
eredmywor
ldf
art
oomuch"
Me:
"Iam st
il
llovi
ngt
hej
our
ney"
Idr
ankmydr
inkandheheper
kedmyl
ips.
Me:
"Razor"
Razor:
"youar
ebeaut
if
ul"
Whatam Igonnadowit
hhi m.AsmuchasIwant
hi
m butWendyi si
nthepict
ureandshewi
llcome
wi
thgunsblazi
ngtowardsme.
.
.
*
WENDY*

IgottoAxeandshewasbyt hecarwashsecti
on
havingadri
nkandchatti
ngwitht
heguysaswel l
.I
gottoherandpushedmywayandsati nf
rontofher
i
nt hecaronthedr
iver
'sseat
.
Axe:
"Smoko?(Pr
obl
em ?)
"
Me:"Razorhasneverdi
srespect
edmel i
kethat
bef
ore.MeWendyandt hatgirlj
ustcomesandhe
i
sgoingcrazy.Nx"
Axe:
"whoi
sthegi
rl?Isawt
hem ki
ssi
ng"
Me:
"hecal
lsherUnat
hisoIassumei
t'
sUnat
hi"
Shechockedonherdr
inkandwhi
stl
ed.
Axe:
"yho"
Me:
"youknowher?"
Axe:"don'
tunder
est
imat
eher.Shei
spsychothat
one.Letmegocheckifi
t'
stheUnat
hiIt
hinki
tis"
Shewalkedaway.It
urnedupsomemusi
cand
text
edThabi
sa
Me:
"weneedt
osor
tabugout
."
Il
ockedmyphoneandt
henwai
tedf
orAxewho
camerushi
ngt
ome.
Axe:
"YhoYhoYhoUyena(i
t'
sher)
"
Me:
"howdoyouknowher?"
Axe:
"wenti
npr
ison"
Me:
"razoryena(andr
azor?)
"
Axer
ubbedherhead.
Axe:
"ei
shSan,
Uyamkhumbul
angi
phuma?
(You
rememberwhenIcameout?)YeahIaskedr
azort
o
keepal
ookoutonherIt
hinkthat
'show"
Me:
"Nx."
Axe:
"hadeMaWenz(sor
ryWendy)
"
Me:
"Iwon'
tlethi
m sl
ip."
Shej
ustnodded.
.
.
-
--
-
Me:
"R950!"
Ichuckl
edwhi
lewal
kingupanddown.
Me:"R950thousandAl
lgone.That
'samil
li
on
AyandawhydoyoukeepaMi ll
ioni
nthehouse?"
Ayanda:
"Iam f
rust
rat
edasi
tisSi
yamt
handa"
Me:"Ij
ustdon'
tunder
stand.Thi
spl
aceshoul
dbe
pr
otect
ed."
Ayanda:
"whoeverdi
dthi
sisapr
ofessi
onal"
Me:
"950Nkosi
Iam goi
ngt
ofai
nt"
Ayanda:
"Si
yamt
handa"
Me:
"ther
ear
emanybanksi
nSout
hAf
ri
ca"
Ayanda:
"Iwi
llgett
othebot
tom oft
his"
Me:"Ij
ustwonderwhyyoukeept
hatchunkof
moneyi
nthehouse"
Ayanda:
"peopl
ebackot
herpeopl
e'
saccount
s"
Me:
"whatift
hehousewastobur
ndownwi t
hthat
mi
ll
ion?That
sli
kecl
osetoR30mill
ionRand"
Ayanda:
"Idon'
tpayi
nsur
ancef
ornot
hing"
Me:
"doyouhavei
nsur
ancef
ort
hest
olenmi
ll
ion?
"
Ayanda:
"Si
yamt
handa"
Hesai
dfr
ust
rat
ed.
Me:
"Letmej
ustgo"
Iwalkedouthisstudy.Thesepeopl emayknowus
because.Howcant heyknowt hereisasafeina
studybehindabigpi ct
ure.If
eel f
rustr
ated,Iwal
k
i
nt ot
helounge.Afterwor khi
siswhatwf acebut
goodthingwewer en'tinsi
dethehouseandt hat
mamBal
uwasn'
thar
med.
Si
yanda:
"Mom "
Me:
"yesboy"
Si
yanda:
"wewantchi
ps."
Me:
"ask"
Zi
khal
i:"canwepl
easehavechi
ps?
"
Me:
"sur
ecome"
Wewal
kedt
otheki
tchen.

.
.
*
UNATHI*

Me:"Soinot
herwor
dsyouar
esayi
ngyouar
ea
pl
ayer?
"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"coul
dbe,
butIam l
ovedbecauseofwhoI
am "
Me:
"doyouchar
m gi
rl
sli
ket
his?"
Razor:
"am Ichar
mingyou?"
Ibl
ushed.
Me:
"no,
Iam j
ustsayi
ng"
Razor:
"ther
eisaspi
nfesti
nSowet
oTomor
row.
Wanttogo?"
Me:
"Gangst
err
elat
ed,
li
keIdon'
twantt
obeshot"
,
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"don'
twor
ry.Igotyou"
Me:
"sur
ethen"
Razor:
"let
'sgo.I
t'
sget
ti
ngl
ate"
Me:
"yeah.Dadmustbewor
ri
ednow"
West
oodup.
Razor:
"i
t'
sreal
lygoodspendi
ngt
imewi
thyou"
Me:
"sameher
e"
CanIspi
nki
ckWendyoutoft
hisr
elat
ionshi
p?Can
Idot
hat?
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
30] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t8

★ WENDY★

Axet
ookmebacktoRazor
'splaceandIwillwai
tfor
hi
m.Heneedsal
otofexpl
ainingtodoreal
ly.Hegot
i
nandhel
ookedatmeandIl ookedathi
m.
Me:"usudl
ali
saamacheesegalmanj
e?(Youar
e
hi
tt
ingoncheesegi
rlsnow?)"
Razor:
"Pho?(So)
"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"Iam yourgi
rl
fr
iend!Youshoul
dn'
tbedoi
ng
meli
ket
hat
.YaziUyadel
ela(youar
edi
srespect
ful
)"
Razor:
"woahwoahuyithathephil
ehyokut
hi
uyi
ntombiyam ?(woahwoahwher edidyougett
he
i
deathatyouaremygirl
fr
iend?)"
Me:"Youarei
nar
elat
ionshi
p,youevenwr
otei
ton
Facebook"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"di
dIeverst
atewhoIam inarel
ati
onshi
p
wit
h?WendyItoldyouthatwhatwehavei
sjust
pl
ainsex,
youknewf r
om thest
art"
Myhear
tbr
oke.
Me:"ButRazori
t'
sbeenyear
ssi
nceIhavebeenby
yoursi
de"
Razor:
"Iknow"
Me:
"sowhydon'
tyoul
oveme?!
"
Ishout
ed.
Razor:
"youdon'tmakemefeelanydi
ff
erent
.You
don'
tmakemef eelcomf
ort
ableandhappyoryou
beingstuckinmybrai
nalldayorwant
ingtodo
crazythi
ngsjustt
obewi t
hyou.Youdon'tmovemy
heartandit'
snotbeat
ingforyou"
Icr
iedi
nmyhands.
Me:"i
tmovesforher?Heh?Af
ewni
ght
sinpr
ison
wi
thherandyouloveher"
Razor:
"Yeah,
Ihaveasonwi
thher"
Icl
appedmyhands.
Me:
"ukudl
isi
lewena(youar
eunderal
ovespel
l)"
Razor:"sowhateversexrel
ati
onshi
pwehadwe
shoul
dcutit.Iam i
nar el
ati
onshi
pwithUnat
hi,
she
mightnotknowitbutIam "
Ist
oodup.
Me:"Iam comingforyouandher
.Iwon'
trestt
il
l
whatevert
hatyouate,youvomi
tit
."
Razor:
"youdon'
twannacr
ossmeWendy, you
don'
twanttoendupi
naditchl
ikeyouknowwho"
Me:
"mxm "
Ipushedhi
m andhehel
dmyar
mti
ght
ly.
Razor:"Shejustusedabort
ionpi
ll
stoki
llmy
unbornchil
dthatIneversaw.Imagi
newhatIwoul
d
dotoyouf orher"
Me:
"letgoofmyar
m"
Razor:
"bewar
ned"
HeletgoofmeandIwal
kedout
.Iwon'
tlett
hisgo
shame.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Dad:
"Il
oveyourbusi
nessconcept,
youseem t
o
knowwhatyouwant"
Me:"yesandIam sel
li
ngt
heol
dhouset
hat
Nt
ethel
elogavet
ome"
Dad:"rat
herr enti
tout,pr
oper
tybusi
nessi
sgr
eat
.
Ali
feti
mei nvestment"
Inodded.Wewereinhi
sstudyi
nthemorni
ng.He
waswor ki
ngf
rom hometoday.Heputt
hepaper
s
downandi
nter
twi
nedhi
sfi
nger
s.
Dad:
"Iwi
lli
nvesti
nyourbusi
ness"
Me:
"Thankyousomuch"
Dad:
"Iseeyouevenhaveapl
ace"
Me:"Ididmyresearchonvacantareasherein
Pret
oriaandif
oundt heper
fectone.Iwi
llj
usthave
togoandveiwitsoonbecauseIcontact
edt he
agent."
Dad:
"Iam i
mpr
essed"
Ismi
led.
"Mommy!"
ThedooropenedandAnel
eappear
ed.
Anel
e:"Mommy"
Dad:
"gooutandknock"
Heclosedt
hedoorwhi
legoi
ngonhi
stoesandt
hen
ati
nyknockcamefr
om thedoor
.
Dad:
"comei
n"
Heopenedandl
etgooft
hehandl
ebef
orepushi
ng
t
hedooropenandwal
kedi
n.
Anel
e:"Hel
lo"
Us:
"Hi"
Anel
e:"Mommy"
Me:
"yesbaby"
Iwentt
ohi
m.
Anel
e:"wheni
sZi
khal
iandLet
hocomi
ng?
"
Me:
"Ont
heweekendyouwi
llgot
othem ok?
"
HenoddedandIki
ssedhi
scheek.
Anel
e:"canIhavemi
lkandcooki
es?"
Me:
"come"
Dad:
"Iwi
llcont
actmybanki
nthemeant
ime"
Me:
"ok,
thankyou"
Iwalkedoutwit
hAnel eandwewenttotheki
tchen.
Itookoutthemilkandwarmeditupandsoast he
cookiesf
rom ajar,Igavei
ttohi
m.
Anel
e:"t
hankyou"
Me:
"Ar
eyoui
nschool?"
Anel
e:"cr
eche"
Me:
"oh,
aren'
tyousupposedt
obet
her
e"
Anel
e:"i
hoyi
diMama(i
t'
sthehol
idays)
"
Me:
"oh"
Hehithi
scooki
eandof
fer
edsomet
omeandIbi
t
some.
Anel
e:"(gi
ggl
ing)youhavebi
gteet
h"
Me:
"That
'snotni
ce"
Anel
e:"t
hisonewi
llcomeout"
Hepoi
ntsatmybi
gteet
h
Me:
"it
'sf
arf
rom comi
ngout
."
Anel
e:"CanIgoandwat
chat
v?"
Me:
"come"
Iputhi
m downandt ookhisfoodandwewentt o
thel
ounge,Ipreparedaf l
eeceforhi
m andopened
ananimatedmovi eforhim andhestart
edwatching.
Thedoorbel
lrangandIwentt othedoor.Iopened
i
tandr
azorwasst
andi
ngt
her
e.
Me:
"howdi
dyougeti
n?"
Razor:"Ij
ustsai
dyouar
eexpect
ingmeandsi
nceI
l
ooklikeourson"
"Whoi
satt
hedoorUnat
hi?"
Thatwasdad.
Me:
"youshoul
dhavecal
led"
Razor:
"whatdi
ff
erencedoesi
tmakebecauseIam
her
ealr
eady"
Me:
"hai
bo,
daddoesn'
tknowwhot
hef
atheri
s"
Razor:
"heshoul dknowandIhavebeenstandi
ng
her
efor5mi nutes,bynowavisi
tori
sinsi
desit
ti
ng
onthecouchsippingonsomethi
ng"
Me:
"youcameunannounced"
Razor:
"Idi
dsayIam comi
ngt
ofet
chyouf
ora
spi
nfesti
nSoweto"
Thedoorwaspul
ledf
rom behi
ndme.
Dad:
"Unat
hiwhoi
sthi
s?"
Razorwassmi
li
ngsomuch.
Me:
"dadI
..
.I.
..
.ohmyGod"
Icover
edmyf
ace
Dad:
"what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Me:"uhm dadt
hisi
sRa.
..
.ImeanLi
ndani
Ngomane"
Razor:
"ni
cet
omeetyousi
r"
Dad:
"doyouhaveanyr
elat
iont
oAnel
e?"
Razor:
"Ibel
ievei
twassai
dhei
smyson."
Dadl
ookedatme,
hel
ookedatr
azorf
rom headt
o
t
oe.
Me:
"Hecamet
oseeAnel
e"
Dad:
"howdi
dyougeti
n?"
Me:
"il
ethi
min"
Dad:
"lat
erweneedt
otal
k"
Hewal
kedi
nsi
de.
Me:
"comei
n"
Razor
.:"Daddyhat
esme"
Me:
"Wi
thyoudr
essedl
iket
hat"
Razor:
"li
kewhat?Il
ikei
t"
Me:
"it
'sni
cebutdadhasadi
ff
erenteye"
Razor:
"uyangi
fent
samanj
e(youar
efl
ir
ti
ngwi
th
menow) "
Me:
"canyoubeser
ious?
"
Razor:
"Iam "
Hespankedmybut
t.It
urnedt
ohi
m wegott
odad
andAnel
e.
Me:
"Anel
e"
Anel
e:"hei
sgonnawi
nMommy"
Me:
"Anel
e"
Hel
ookedatme.
Anel
e:"Hi"
Razor:
"Hi"
Me:
"youcansi
tdown.Anyt
hingt
odr
ink?"
Razor:
"Not
hankyou"
Me:
"Iwi
llbebacknow"
Henoddedanddadwasf
ocusi
ngont het
v.Ir
anup
t
hestai
rstomybedr
oom t
ogetready.
.
.
★ RAZOR★

Iwaswai tingf orUnat hit

ocomebackdownsowe
couldleave.Mysonl ooksexactlyli
keme.Iam
nervousifIwi llbeagoodf atherornot
.Iam even
scaredtoaskanyquest i
onsbuthedoesr esemble
me.Hewoul dl ookatmeandsmi l
eandIwoul ddo
thesame.Iwi shIcoul dholdyouandt eachyoualot
ofthingsIwi shmyf atherdidbutthismanInfront
ofusi sstoppingme.
MrNgema:
"Sowhoar
eyou?"
Me:
"li
ndaniNgomane"
MrNgema:
"Wher
ear
eyouf
rom ?"
Me:
"Pr
etor
ia"
MrNgema:
"whatdoyouown?"
Me:"ahouse,
carandChi
sanyama&Car
washi
n
Thembi
sa"
Hef
rowned.
MrNgema:
"soyouar
efr
om at
ownshi
p?"
Me:
"yes"
MrNgema:
"wher
edi
dyoumeetmydaught
er?"
Me:
"pr
ison
Anel
e:"ha,
babophaamaphoyi
sa?
(Thecops
ar
rest
edyou?)"
Inodded.
Hi
seyeswi
denedi
namazement
.
Anel
e:"Iwantt
obeapol
ice"
Me:
"that
'sgood"
MrNgema:
"Thi
sisunaccept
abl
e"
Me:
"whati
s?"
MeNgena:
"youar
enotsui
tabl
eformydaught
er"
Me:
"Isn'
tshet
heonet
ochoose?"
MrNgema:
"Iwi
llmakei
tcl
ear,
Idon'
tli
keyou"
Me:
"itok.I
fyourdaught
erdoesi
t'
sfi
net
hen"
Hecli
ckedhist
ongueandUnathianddownt
he
st
air
sdressedi
ntracksui
ts.
Unat
hi:
"wecanl
eave."
MrNgema:
"don'
tcomebackpr
egnant"
Unat
hi:
"dad"
Hekeptqui
et.
Unat
hi:
"byeAnel
e"
Anel
e:"bye"
Hewavedhishandandwentbackt ot
hetv.We
walkedouti
fthehouse,
Ipull
edhertomeandI
ki
ssedherli
psandsheresponded,
Ibrokei
t.
Me:
"Unat
hiI
..
..
"
Shewentonhert
oesandhel
dmyf acebefor
e
ki
ssi
ngmeandIrespondedt
othekiss.Shebrokei
t.
Unathi:"Iknowt
hisi
swr
ongasi
tisbutIj
ustcan'
t
hel
pi t
."
Sheki
ssedmeagai
nandwebr
okei
tup.Ibi
tmy
bot
tom l
ip.
Me:"Unat
hiyouj
ustdothingstome,evenyear
s
agoyoudi
dandsti
lldo.
..
.Ij
ustdon'
tknowhowto
sayi
t"
Isi
ghed.
Me:
"let
'sgo"
Unat
hi:
"saywhatyouwantt
osay"
Me:
"it
'snoti
mpor
tant"
It
ookherhandandwewal
kedt
omycar.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
30] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t9

Ithasbeensi lenti nt hecarsi ncewel efthomeand

hehasn' tsai danyt hi
ngandIhaven' tsaidat hi
ngas
well.Iwonderi fhef eelst hewayIf eel, thoughhe
hasst atedbef or ewhathewant s, t
hatki ssfelt
goodIwon' tlie.Razort akesmei ntoanewwor l
dI
neverunder stoodandmakesi tseem l i
kei t
'sthe
fir
sttimest eppi ngouti ntot hewor l
d.Il ookathi m
andhedoest hesameandIl ookaway.Whycan' tI
justtellhi
m howIf eel?I si tbecauseIam scar ed
thathewi llrejectmeort ellmemypl ace.Ishoul d
knowmypl aceasababymamabut. ..Isigh.We
gettoSowet oaf tersomet imeandhepar ksandwe
getoutoft hecar .Het akesmyhandandwewal k
towar dshisot hermat es.IseeAxeandWendyand
Wendywhi sper si nherf riend' searandt heybot h
l
ookatme.
Axe:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"Hi"
Guy:
"or
ightor
ightngwanangi
yabonauvuke
ngoyel
lowmat
hambo(yesmyman.Iseeyouhave
ayell
owbone)
"
Razor:
"ungaphaphi(don'
tbef
orwar
d)"
Axechuckl
ed.
Axe:
"Ot
hingi
ri
ngenawe(l
etmet
alkt
oyou)
"
Razor:
"Axe.
..
"
Axe:
"real
s.Not
hingwi
llhappen"
Razornodded.Car
swer
espinni
ngaroundandAxe
t
ookmyhandandwewal kedabitawayfr
om t
hem.
Axe:
"Andt
henyouandTaRazor?"
Me:
"wemeti
npr
ison"
Axe:"keacavaMar
akuchunekenidaar(Iknowbut
whathappenedi
nther
e?)"
Me:
"si
mpl
epl
easesi
mpl
e"
Axe:
"whatwentdown?"
Me:"al
otwellnotalotbutwehaveachi
ldt
oget
her
i
ntheprocessoffhavingfun"
Shewhi
stl
ed.
Axe:
"ahahahYhiukur
uzawedwa,i
cwaneUnathi
(Ahahahyhiyouar
ethatf
ast
,achi
ldUnat
hi)
"
Me:"hestat
edourr
ulesbutnowIam cat
chi
ng.I
caughtAxe"
Axe:
"Ei
shSanyeahneh"
Shewhi
stl
ed.
Axe:
"Maral
ookhere, r
azorhasalwaysar
ound
maWenzandnoothergi
rluyacava?(Youknow)"
Me:
"Soyouar
etr
yingt
orunt
hei
rrel
ati
onshi
pon
myf
ace."
Shet
ookasi
pof
fherbeer
.
Axe:"nomanli
sten.WhatIam sayingisRazorhas
shownyouhi
swor ld,woul
dheshowhi sworldto
someonehedoesn'thaveathi
ngfor?"
Me:
"wear
efr
iendsandwehaveasont
oget
her"
Axe:
"(l
aughi
ng)Bar
biegal
"
Me:
"Ihat
ethatname"
Axe:
"openyoureyes."
Ifr
ownedandWendycamewi
thherf
ri
ends
t
owardsus.
Wendy:
"Axe"
Axe:
"Wendy"
Shel
ookedatme.
Wendy:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Me:
"whatever
ybodyel
sei
sdoi
ngher
e."
Shechuckl
edandpushedAxeasi
deandshespi
ll
ed
al
coholonhershi
rt
.
Axe:
"andNouMaWenz?(AndnowMaWenz?
)"
Shegr
abbedmyshoul
der
sandherf
ri
endshadbat
s.
Wendy:"iwoul
dn'
tletRazorgowi
thoutaf
ight
.Not
event
oyou"
Shewhi
stl
ed,Iki
ckedherst
omachandshel
etgo
ofmyshoul
ders.
Wendy:
"aahh"
Ir
anof
f.
"Unat
hi"
Wendy:
"Phezukwakhe!
(Af
terher!)
"
Theladi
eswereaf t
ermewi t
hbatsandIheardgun
shot
sandIj umped.Youtheyar
eshootingatme,I
knewcomi ngherewon'
tendgood.Ididn'
teven
wanttolookback.
Gunshot!"
Iscr
eamedwhil
eclosi
ngmyear
s,Idon'
teven
knowwhereIam r
unni
ngof
fto.
.
.
★ RAZOR★

Iwasn'
tgoingt
ospintoday,Ijustcamet osuppor
t
myboysandbringUnathihereaswell.Someone
cal
ledoutmynameandIt urnedanditwasAxe.
Axe:"Baphezukwakhe.OWendybadrayi
sau-
Unathii
Sowetoyonkengebhamu(Theyar eaf
ter
her
.Wendy, theyar
echasingUnat
hiaround
Sowetowi t
hguns)"
Me:
"theywi
llki
llher,
howcoul
dyoul
ett
hem go?"
Igavehert
hebeer.
Kau:
"Andyou?
"
Axe:"Thabi
saandt
hem ar
echasi
nghi
sgi
rlwi
th
guns"
Kau:
"Let
'sgo"
Wewentt oourcar sandgotinandhedr ovea
seperatewayandIdr oveanotherwayaswel l.I
couldseet hem runningaf
terherandt heyhad
somebat s.Agunshotwasr eleasedandIt ookout
mineandt ookmyar m outofthewi ndowandshot
theairandt heystopped.Igotoutofmycarand
Unathidroppedonherkneesbr eathingandIwent
toWendyandIpul l
edherbyherhai r.
Me:
"Di
dn'
tIwar
nyou?
"
Wendy:
"Iwi
llki
llherf
oryou"
Me:
"voet
sekWendy"
Ihi
tbacksl
appedherandshewentt
othegr
ound.
Thabi
sa:
"notwi
thmyf
ri
end"
Kaucamewi
tht
hecarandhegotout
.
Kau:
"let
'sgo.Al
lofyou"
Thabi
sa:
"Nokau"
Kau:
"Thabi
sai
nthecarnow"
Unat
hist
oodupandcaket
oWendyandsl
appedher
.
Unat
hi:
"youwantt
oki
llmef
oradi
ckwena"
Theyst
art
edf
istf
ight
ing.
Kau:
"dosomet
hing"
Unathi:
"Iwil
lshowyouwena,
Iwon'
tdodgea
bul
letandnothityou"
Shewasont
opofWendy
Wendy:
"YeyiyouPussygetof
fme"
Unat
hi:
"Youcanpl
aywi
thbul
let
slet
'sseei
fyou
canpl
aywit
hfi
sts"
ItookUnathiof
fWendy, manshehi
therbad
becauseshehadabl eedi
ngnoseandherhai
rwas
roughenedup.
Wendy:
"youbr
okemynose"
Unat
hi:
"that
'sf
orshoot
ingatme"
Wendyt
ri
edtochar
get
owar
dsUnat
hibutIst
ood
bet
weenthem.
Wendy:
"Iwi
llki
llyouwena!
"
Unat
hi:
"come,
come"
Me:
"Unat
hi,
cal
m down"
Unat
hi:
"don'
ttel
lmet
ocal
m downwhenIal
most
di
ed"
KautakesWendyawaywhileshewasscr
eami
ng.
Unat
hiwasbreat
hingheavi
ly.
Me:
"br
eat
h"
Unat
hi:
"Nxtakemehome.Idon'
twantt
oseeyou
agai
nLi
ndani!"
Shewal
kedt
othecar
.
Me:
"Unat
hi"
Shebangedt
hedoor
.Isi
ghedandwenttot
hecar
andgoti
n.Shel
ookedoutsi
det
hewindowandshe
wasmad.
Me:
"Unat
hi"
Unat
hi:
"don'
tevent
alk"
Ikeptqui
etasst
art
edt
hecarbef
oredr
ivi
ngof
f.
.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*

Idon'tevenwannast artonwhathappenedthere,
okthebat swereexpectedbuttheguns.Ididn't
expecthert ost
artshooti
ngatme, itmeansI
shouldhavemyownaswel l
.Calm downUnat hi
youar eali
veyoushouldbegr at
eful,Iwon'
tletno
onetrytor esur
facetheoldme.Ihavewor kedso
hardforthisnewi mage.
Hedoesn'
tdri
vemehomebutgoesi nanot
herr
out
e.
Igi
vehim adeat
hstar
ebuthedoesn'
tnoti
ceme,I
l
ookoutthewindowandchuckl
e.
Me:
"angi
khumbul
ingi
hlal
angal
a(Idon'
tremember
l
ivi
ngt
hissi
de)
"
Razor:
"zi
ningii
ndl
ela(t
her
ear
emanyways)
"
Ichuckl
edandlookedout.Hegottohishomeand
heparkedthecarout
sideandgotout
.Istayedi
n
thecarandhecamet omyside.
Razor:
"Unat
hicome"
Me:
"anddowhat?
"
Razor:
"theat
ti
tudedoesn'
tsui
tyou"
Me:"woul
dyoubel
aughi
ngaf
tert
hatbei
ngdonet
o
you?"
Razor:
"okIgetyoubutl
et'
scoolof
finsi
de"
Igotoutoft
hecarandhecl
osedt
hedoor
.
Razor:
"youshoul
ddr
opi
tqui
cker"
Irol
ledmyeyesandwewal
kedi
nsi
de.Isatont
he
couch.
Razor
:"ar
eyouhungr
y?"
Me:
"no"
Hewentt
otheki
tchenandcamebackdr
inki
ng
waterandsatontheot
hercouchandheputt
he
gl
assont het
able.
Razor:
"comeher
e"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Razor:
"pl
ease"
Istoodupandwentt
ohi
m andhepul
ledmei
nto
hislap.
Razor:"Iam sor
ryf
orwhathappenedt
oday,
Iwi
ll
sor
titout"
Me:"j
usttakemehomeandl etnotcont
acteach
ot
herunl
essit'
saboutAnel
e"
Heki
ssedmyneck.
Razor:
"ifi
tdoesn'
tinvol
veyout
henIcan'
t"
Me:
"youwantt
oki
l
lme?"
Hi
shandswentt
omywai
stundermyj
acketand
t
op.
Razor:
"No,
Idon'
twantt
o."
Hel
ooksatmeandt
henheki
ssesme.
Me:
"razor"
HestandsupandIdoandhepicksmeupandgoes
tot
hekitchenandpl
acesmeonthecount
er.Hi
s
homelooksnice,al
ot.
Razor:
"Ial
waysi
magi
nedhi
tt
ingi
tonacount
er"
Me:
"Iam notyourpussy"
Razor:
"no"
Hekissesmyneckandpul
lsmypantsl
owertomy
ankl
esandtakesof
fmyshoesandthepant
s.
Razor:
"youar
emor
ethant
hat"
Heunzi
psmyj acketandr
emovesmyt
opaswel
l
andIam l
efti
nmyt hong.
Me:
"Razor"
Het
akesi
toffandIam naked,
goodthi
ngIshaved
t
wodaysago.Hegivesmeakiss..
Razor:
"Il
oveyouUnat
hi"
Hegoest
omyneckandshoul
der
sandshi
ver
sgo
downmyspi
ne.
Razor:
"Ial
waysl
ovedyou"
Idi
dn'tknowwhatt osay.ShouldIscr
eam andj ump
orshouldIbewor ri
ed?Het akesoneofmyni pples
i
nhismout handsucksandImoan.[ Sci
ssored-
Contentfoundinthegroup]
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
30] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t10

Therewassil
ence, wewereinthought
sandt aki
ng
i
nwhathashappenedj ustafewmi nut
esago.I t
fel
tgoodandstrangeli
kethefi
rstti
me, mai
nly
becauset
histi
mef eel
ingswereinvol
ved.He
spl
ashesthewaterint
omybr eastsanditr
uns
downmyst omach.Wear ei
nthebathtubi
ntending
t
ocleanseourbodi
esyetwehaven'
tmadeany
movement.
Razor:
"Iwantt
ofor
mal
lyknowAnel
e"
Me:
"Ok"
Hesqueezesmybr
east
sandki
ssesmyneck.
Razor:
"sowhatdoest
hisal
lmeannow?"
Idon'
tknow, ar
ewedat ingorwejustconf
essed
howwef eelandlef
titl
ikethat?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Razor:
"AllIknowisthatIl
oveyou,consi
der
your
sel
fluckytohavewonmyhear t"
Me:"Awuthankyouevent
houghIwasal
most
ki
ll
edfori
t"
Hechuckl
edandt
ouchedmyst
omach.
Razor:
"sobabynumbert
woi
sont
heway"
Me:
"no"
Isatup.
Me:
"Iam onacont
racept
ive,
3year
sone.
Super
int
endentputmeoni
taf
terAnel
e"
Razor:
"Ok"
Me:
"let
'sbat
handgetout
."
Webat
hedandt
henaf
terwegotout
.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Isatbyt hecaratt
hespinf
est.Helef
twithherand
real
lychoseheroverme.Ifeelat
housandtimes
hurtforr
eal,hebetr
ayedmeinotherwords.
"Whyi
sagi
rll
ikeyoucr
yingi
nthi
sfest
iveevent?"
Me:
"pi
ssof
f"
Hechuckl
ed.
"Iwon'
tpi
ssof
f"
Iwi
pedmyeyesandl
ookedathi
m.
Hi
m:"andweseet
hef
acet
houghi
t'
sst
ent
ched"
Me:
"don'
tyouhavepeopl
etobot
her?"
Hi
m: "Idon.Isawhowyouandt
hosel
adi
eschased
t
hatgir
l,si
dechick?
"
Me:
"mor
eli
kemai
nnow."
Hechuckl
ed.
Hi
m:"her
eisadr
inkandenj
oyt
heshow"
HegavemeaSavannahandIt ooki
tandgul
pedi
t
down.Iam notevenf
eel
ingt
heshow.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Me:
"Iam sur
eyoucan'
tevencook"
Unat
hi:
"toobadIdo.Idi
dhospi
tal
it
yinhi
ghschool
."
Me:
"andt
hatwas?"
Unat
hi:
"don'
taskmehowmanyyear
sagoi
twas"
Wewer
emaki
ngsomesandwi
ches,
Idon'
tli
ke
breadbutsi
ncet
her
eismeatwhatchoi
cedoIhave
atthemoment.
Me:
"comeher
e"
Ihol
dherwaist,
IfeelgoosebumpsEver
yti
meIsee
herori
nherpresence.
Unat
hi:"Li
ndaniIwon'
tfi
nishi
fyoukeepon
t
ouchingme."
Shegi
ggl
ed.
Me:
"Ican'
thol
dmywomannow?"
Unat
hi:
"thati
sWendy"
If
rownedandshet
urnedandl
aughed.
Unat
hi:
"aski
eske(sor
ryt
hen)
"
Sheper
kedmylipsgoi
ngonhertoes.Ihel
dher
wai
standki
ssedherti
llwebr
okeit
.
Unat
hi:
"Il
oveyouNgomane,
Ipr
ayIdon'
tmess
t
hisup."
Me:
"youwon'
tbaby"
Ihel
dherhand.
Unat
hi:"Idon'
twantt
ogobackt
ohowIwas,
don'
t
l
etmeok?"
Inodded,
shel
ookedwor
ri
edandscar
ed.
Me:
"rel
axIhaveyou"
Shenoddedandper
kedmyl
ips.Ther
ewasaknock
onthedoor
.
Me:
"letmegogeti
t."
Unat
hi:
"ok"
Il
etgoofherandIwentt
othedoorandIopenedi
t
andheappear
ed.
"Ahugwoul
devendogood"
Me:"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?Whendi
dyouget
out?"
Hepushedmeoutoft
hewayandmadehi
sway
i
nsi
de.
Me:
"Nt
ambo"
Het
urned
Nt
ambo:
"Igotoutanhouragoandyounever
vi
sit
edmei
nsi
de."
Me:
"Youshoul
dleave"
Ntambo:"halfbro,ngekeungichunekanj
e
sengi
kufor
givil
e(halfbro,youcan'tdomeli
ket
hat
aft
erIfor
gaveyou)"
Unat
hi:
"Razorever
ythi
ngi
soknow!
"
Shewal
ksi
ntot
hel
ounge
Me:
"Canyougoandchange?
"
Ntambo: "Aahsmokemysmokenessbabygal
ngizwainhl i
ziyoyam i
Ecceleraterengathi
i
accelerator,myspankos, putsununumysof a
slahl
anesengi zwangi
julukaumt sint
silauwena
nalobuhkeobukhazi mulayo( Aahsmokemy
smokenessbabygalIf eelmyhear tacceler
ati
ng
l
ikeanaccel er at
or,myspankos, putsununh,my
ri
deordi e.If eelmybuttcracksweat ingbecauseof
yourbeaut y.)"
Unat
hif
rowned.
Unat
hi:
"Iwi
llgoandchange"
Shewal
kedof
f.
Me:
"shei
sof
fli
mit
s."
Nt
ambo:
"Umt
hat
haphi?
(Wher
edi
dyougether?
)"
Me:
"wher
eyoucomef
rom ,
whyar
eyouher
e?"
Ntambo:
"pri
son.Ihavebeenint
her
eforsol
ong
andIcoul
dn'
tgetmyselfsuchcr
eam "
Hemadeasucki
ngsound.
Me:
"Fezi
le!"
Ntambo:
"okoksur
eIunder
standandyouknow
t
hebrocode."
Inodded.
Nt
ambo:
"yeahsoi
sther
efood?"
Hewentt ot
hekit
chen.Iwalkedtothebedr
oom and
Unathiwassear
chingforsomethi
ng.Icl
osedt
he
doorandshetur
ned.
Unat
hi:
"whoi
sthatcr
eepyguy?"
Me:
"mycousi
n."
Unat
hi:
"oh"
Inodded.
Unat
hi:
"wel
lIneedt
oleavesoon."
Me:
"Iwi
shyoucoul
dst
ay"
Unat
hi:
"met oo,maybeIshoul
dmoveoutf
rom
home,Ial
readyhaveapl
ace"
Me:
"youshoul
ddot
hat"
Ipi
ckedherupandkissedhert
henl
aidheront
he
bedandhegiggl
ed.
Me:
"round?
"
Unat
hi:
"Idon'
tknow."
Me:
"butIam l
acki
ngsomeVi
tami
nU"
Unat
hi:
"oouuuhni
cel
ine"
Wel
aughed.
Me:
"Iam good"
Shegi
ggl
ed.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
l
eavingwasami ssi
ononitsownbuteventual
lyI
di
d,whataday.Real l
ywhataday,f
rom almost
dyi
ngt obei
ngexcit
edandhappyitwastrul
y
amazing.Igoti
nsi
dethehouseanddadwasi nthe
l
oungewi t
hQamoandherhusband.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Qamo:
"hey,
wher
edoyoucomef
rom ?"
Me:
"oh,
Iwentt
oaspi
nfesti
nSowet
o"
Qamo:
"wow,
your
eal
lyexpl
ori
ngi
tal
l"
Dad:
"it
'st
hatboywhof
ather
'sherson"
Ikeptqui
et.
Qamo:
"wai
tthef
atherwasher
sandIwasn'
ttol
d?"
Dad:"begl
adbecauseal
lIsawwaswal
king
pover
ty"
Me:"daddon'
tsaythat,
youdon'
tknowLi
ndani'
s
upbr
ingi
ng.It
'st
oughandtobewhoheistoday
wasofhardwork"
Dad:
"acr
imi
nal?
"
Me:
"hei
smor
ethananexpr
isonguy"
Dad:
"Idon'
tseet
hedi
ff
erence."
Qamo:
"dadbei
ngopenmi
ndeddoeshur
tyouknow
"
Me:
"thankyou"
Dad:
"Idi
dn'
twor
kforyout
oli
veher
eal
lforyout
o
cr
awlt
opover
ty"
Me:
"Iam goi
ngt
oseemyson"
Dad:
"don'
tbot
herhi
m hei
sasl
eep"
Iwalkedupt
hest
air
sint
omyr
oom andcl
osedt
he
door.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Igotbackfr
om droppi
ngUnat hif
rom herhouse.I
thi
nkhermovingoutwouldber eal
lyagr eati
dea
becauseherfat
herdoesn'
tli
kemeandi tdoesn'
t
botherme,aslongasmywomandoesthenIam ok.
Iparkedmycarandgotoutandmademyway
i
nsidethehouseandther
ewassomeoneshout
ing.
Wendy:
"eyiwher
eisr
azoryouar
emaki
ngnoi
se!"
Nt
ambohel
dherneckf
astandputakni
feoni
t.
Nt
ambo:
"iwi
llsl
ityourt
hroatl
ikeagoat"
Wendy:
"letgoofme"
Nt
ambo:
"that
'syourwar
ning"
Hel
etgoofher
.
Me:
"Wendywhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Wendy:"sosi
nceyoudumpedmewhataboutus
wor
kingtoget
her"
Me:
"youknowt
hedoorandi
t'
satni
ght"
Wendy:
"razor"
Nt
ambo:
"Yeyiout!"
Shecl
ickedhert
ongueandwal
kedout
.
Ntambo:
"umt
hat
hephi
kel
oh?(Wher
edi
dyouget
t
hisone?
)"
Me:
"her
e"
Heshookhi
sheadandwentt
otheki
tchen.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
31] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t11

Thenextmor ni
ngIwasupandr unni
ngar oundt he
househelpi
ngmahcl eanandi twasreall
yactive.
Thatwomancant al
kfordaysonendi fshewant s
toandknowsal otofgossipar
oundthehouse, she
i
sagr eatwomanover ral
l.Anelecameint he
kit
cheninhispyjamaswhi l
ewewer emaki ng
breakf
ast.
Anel
e:"Mor
ninggogoandMommy"
Ipi
ckedhi
m upandputhi
m ont
hecount
er.
Me:
"mor
ningbaby"
Dadwal
kedi
ntheki
tchenwear
ingasui
t.
Dad:
"goodmor
ning"
WegreetedandMahpl
acedhi
slunch.Iguesshe
get
slunchaswell
.
Dad:"youneedt
ogetacarUnat
hibef
oreyoust
art
worki
ng"
Me:
"Uhm ,
I..
."
Hepl
acedhi
scar
d.
Dad:
"Don'
tspendmymoneyonunecessar
ythi
ngs.
"
Me:
"Iwon'
tthankyou"
Dad:
"MaMt
hombeni
"
Wai
tthat
'shersur
name?Idi
dn'
tknow.
Ma:
"haveagooddaysi
r"
Henoddedandt
henhet
ookhi
sthi
ngsbef
orehe
wal
kedout.
Me:
"eatbabywear
egoi
ngshoppi
ng.Mahshoul
d
Ibr
inganyt
hingf
oryou?"
Ma:
"noi
t'
sfi
nemychi
ld"
Anel
e:"wewi
llbuyi
cecr
eam ?"
Me:
"yes,
let
'seatt
henwecanbat
hthenl
eave."
Anel
e:"yay!"
Imadecer ealsf
orhim andfedhim.Aft
erhewas
donemaht ookhi
m upt hestai
rst
ogogetr eady
whileIstayedandate.Iheardmyphoneringf r
om
theloungeandIwentt hereandswal
lowedmyf ood
beforeIanswered.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Razor:
"it
'sl
ikeyouar
eanswer
ingani
nsur
ancecal
l
"
Me:
"Li
ndani
"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Howar
eyou?
"
Heyawned.
Me:
"Iam good.
Razor:
"sor
ryIj
ustwokeupbabe"
Thatbabesatsomewheredeepinmystomach
whereIfel
tit
.It
'sl
ikeIt
smyf i
rstt
imehear
ing
someonecallmethat.
Me:
"youar
elazy"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Iam not
.Whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
oday?"
Me:
"iam goi
ngcarsear
chi
ng,
you?"
Razor:
"Iwasgoi
ngtogotomybusi
nessandsee
howthingsar
egoi
ngandspendt
hedaywit
hmy
cousi
n"
Me:
"That
'sni
ce"
Razor:
"wewi
llf
etchyoui
nafew.Iwanttospend
ti
mewithmysonandwoman.Ti
meforhidi
ngis
gone"
Me:
"okt
hiswomani
sgoi
ngt
ogogetr
eadyt
hen"
Razor:
"'
Wearni
ce"
Me:
"Iwi
ll"
"awuyekeukuphaphat
hekai
dlat
hiuyi
ndoda(st
op
bl
ushi
ngyouareaman) "
Thatwashi
scousi
nIassume.Il
aughed.
Razor:
"Nt
ambo!"
Me:
"Iwi
shIsawt
hat"
Razor:
"youwon'
tletmegot
hen."
Me:
"okbye"
Razor:
"andam Iyourf
ri
end?"
Me:
"ahNgomane"
Razor:
"Iam wai
ti
ng"
Me:
"Il
oveyouMshi
ka"
Razor:
"Iam i
nlovewi
thyou"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"letmego"
Razor:
"ok."
WehungupandIputmyphoneinthechar
gerandI
wentupt
hestai
rs,
Igotinmybedr
oom andIwent
t
oopentheshower
.Ist
ri
pped.
Me:"andI,l
oveyouandIneedyou.I
tdon'
tmat
ter
whatIdo,al
lIt
hinkabouti
syou"
Ifeelyoung.Igoti ntheshowerandItookashower.
AfterIwasdoneIgotoutandIwentt ocrymybody
andt henlotionedandgotdressed.HesaidIshoul
d
wearni ceright?Iworesimplebutver
yniceand
brightcolour.Therewasaknockonmydoor.
Me:
"comei
n"
Macamei nandsheclosedthedoorandwalked
strai
ghtupt omeandheldmyhandsandst art
ed
prayingandIlookedatherconf
usedandworried.I
decidedit'
srudetoopenyoureyeswhensomeone
i
spr ayingsoIclosedt
hem.
Ma:"ohLordputyourchi
ldunderyourwi
ngi
nthe
nameofJesusChristAmen"
Me:
"amen"
Weopenedoureyes.
Me:
"ar
eyouokma?
"
Ma:
"YesIam ,
Ijusthadavi
sionofyou"
Me:
"whatwasIdoi
ng?"
Ma:
"itwasj
ustGodr
eveal
inghi
sst
uff
."
Me:
"whatwasi
t?"
Shel
aughed.
Ma:"i
t'
sok.Youhavef
oundyourr
ightonet
his
t
ime"
Me:
"ri
ght
..
..
"
Ma:"Unat
hist
opact
ingl
ikeyoudon'
tknow.Anel
e
'
sfat
her"
Me:
"oh"
Idon'
tbel
ievei
nthi
sbutsomet
hingi
nmej
ustsai
d
l
ist
entoher.
Me:
"youar
easangoma?"
Ma:
"Pr
ophetmybaby"
Me:
"ohIsee"
Ma(hol di
ngmyhandst i
ghtl
y)Ever
ythi
ngGodhas
displ
ayed.Wedon'tquesti
onbutfol
low.Youand
thatboywerebroughttoget
herbyGodandonly
Godwi l
lseper
ateyouandt hati
sdeath"
Me:
"li
kevows"
Shenodded.
Ma:
"Iseegoodt
hingsbet
weenyout
wo."
Shesmi
led.
Me:
"Thankyou"
Ma:
"okyoucango"
Me:
"ok"
ItookmybagandIwentdownt hestair
s.Anele
wassitt
ingandwat chi
ngTVal
lready.Iwentt
ot e
kit
chenandt ookt
hecardandwenttojoi
nhim on
thecouchjusttopassti
measwell.Myphonerang
andIanswered.
Me:
"hi"
Razor:
"wear
eout
side"
Me:
"okwear
ecomi
ng"
Hehungup.Iputmyphonei
nmybag.
Me:
"comeAnel
elet
'sgo"
Anel
e:"whoar
ewegoi
ngwi
th?"
Me:
"Comemommywi
llshowyou"
Henodded.
Me:
"byema"
Ihopeshehear
dme.Wewal kedoutandIopened
thegat
eandRazorwasout
sidethecarwi
thhis
cousi
n.
Anel
e:"Whoi
sthat?"
Me:
"Youwi
llsee"
Wegott
othem.
Ntambo:
"(whi
stl
e)Youmakemyhear
tski
pabeat
"
Igi
ggl
edandr
azorcamet
ous.
Razor:
"Youl
ookni
ce"
Me:
"it
'sbeaut
if
ul"
Razor:
"that"
Hetur
nedt
oAnel
eandcr
oucheddowni
nfr
ontof
hi
m.
Razor:
"Heyboy"
Anel
e:"Hi"
Razor:
"doyouknowwhoIam ?"
Anel
e:"youcamet
otakemommyyest
erday"
Razorchuckl
ed.
Razor:"yeah,
andyouknowwhyIt
ookmommy
yest
erdayandtoday?"
Anel
e:"no"
Razor:
"becauseIl
oveherandIwannaseeherf
ace
"
Anel
e:"ohsoyouar
emommy'
sboyf
ri
end,
Let
ho
hasone"
Me:
"what?"
Hegi
ggl
ed.
Ntambo:"RazorHur
ryyouar
ewasti
ngt
imeand
havi
ngJam atthi
smomentisdel
ayi
ng"
Razor:
"yeahIam mommy'
sboyf
ri
endandyour
daddy"
Anel
elookedatme.
Anel
e:"myseconddaddy?
"
Razorl
ookedatme.
Me:
"Iam asecondMom ,
Andi
swaandNt
ethel
elo"
Het
urnedbackt
oAnel
e.
Razor:
"yeah"
Anelel
etgoofmyhandandhuggedr
azorandhe
huggedherback.
Ntambo: "oRazorsebaphi
laamasoupi
e,i
Movie,
Sekwabaukut himawubonaimbewuyakho
sekuyi
sil
ungu(Razorar enowli
vingaSoupi
e,A
movie.Itnowl i
kewhenyouseeyourseedyouact
white)
"
Razor:
"canyoust
opt
alki
ng"
Hel
if
tedhi
shandsupi
ntheai
r.
Anel
e:"wehavei
cecr
eam t
oget"
Welaughedandgoti
nthecarbef
oreRazordr
ove
of
f.
Nt
ambo;
"sot
ellme,
thi
sonei
saPr
isonbaby?
"
Razor:
"Yazwena.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam aski
ng"
Thi
scousi
naskst
oomanyquest
ions.
Razor:
"whi
chcarar
eyougonnaget?
"
Me:
"sameasyour
sbutdi
ff
erentcol
our"
Razor:
"that
'shi
ghj
ackcal
li
ng"
Me:
'
"theywon'
t"
Nt
ambo:
"youhaveal
iverwi
thoni
onsont
hesi
de"
Me:
"thankyou"
Razor:
"Idon'
tli
ket
his"
Me:
"sor
ry"
Therewassilenceandmusi cwaspl ayi
ng.Ijust
keptonlooki
ngatAnel eandcheckingifhei sok
andheseemedok.Iguessmaybehei stryi
ngto
processhavingtwomom' sandanot herdad
poppingup.Wer eachedVolkswagenandr azor
parkedhiscarandweal lgotout.Ihel
dAnel e.
Nt
ambo:
"Thatwhi
teonewi
l
lsui
tyou"
Hewaspoi
nti
ngataWhi
teGTI.
Me:
"bl
ackwi
llbebeaut
if
ul"
Razor:
"Iam get
ti
ngwor
ri
ed.
Me:
"don'
tbe"
Wewal
kedi
nandt
hesal
esper
soncamet
ous.
Hi
m:"HiwelcometoVolkswagenIam Kagi
so,
how
mayIbeofassi
stance?
"
Nt
ambo:
"wewantt
ocheckoutt
hebl
ackGTI"
Hi
m:"ohok"
Hedir
ectedusandopenedthedoorfori
tandi
twas
beaut
if
ul,Igoti
nandsatdownwhileheexpl
ained
al
otofthi
ngsAboutt
hecar.
Me:
"Il
ovei
t"
Kagi
so:
"that
'swonder
ful
.Weal
sohavei
ncol
our
red"
Me:
"oouh"
Razor:
",Redmeansbl
oodanddanger"
Me:
"woul
dyour
elax"
Heshowedust
heonei
nredcol
our
Me:
"whi
chonedoyoul
ikeNel
e?"
Anel
e:"r
ed"
Me:
"redi
tismybaby,
highf
ive"
Wehi
ghf
ived.
Kagi
so:"canwecomethi
swayt
omyof
fi
ceandf
ix
upanydocument
ati
on"
Me:
"uhm sur
e"
Wef
oll
owedhi
m.
"Kagi
sowher
eisTr
ist
an?"
Wet
urnedandNt
ethel
elol
ookedatus.
Anel
e:"daddy"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Hichamp"
Anel
erant
ohi
m andt
heyhugged.
Kagi
so:"hi
swi
fei
ssi
ck,
shewasadmi
tt
edl
ast
ni
ght"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"ohok"
Razorhel
dmyhand.
Nt
ambo: "It
hinkwewer
einapr
ocessof
di
scussi
ngthecar"
Kagi
so:
"ri
ght
."
Wet
urned.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Canyoupassbymyof
fi
cewhenyou
ar
edoneUnathi?
"
Razor"shewon'
tbedoi
ngt
hat"
Me:
"cal
m down"
Al
readyhel
ookedi
rr
it
ated.
Ntet
hel
elo:
"WhatIwantt
odi
scusswi
thmyexwi
fe
i
snonofyourbusi
ness"
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elot
hat
'sunecessar
y"
Razor:"Idon'
tcar
eifshei
syourmot
hershewon'
t
bedoingthat"
Me:
"Whatdoyouwannadi
scuss?"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"thet
it
leoft
hehouse,
youneedt
ofet
ch
i
t"
Me:
"ohok.Thankyou"
Ntambi:"l
et'
sleavebef
oreRazormakessomeonea
sacr
if
ice"
Wetunedandrazorwasst
il
lpi
ssedof
f.Wewal
ked
i
nkagiso'
sof
fi
ceandsatdown.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
.
[
09/
17,
16:
31] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t12

Wedi dt
henecessarywit
hKagisoandRazor
demandedt hatbyt
omorroweverythi
ngshouldbe
sort
ed.Thedr amat
hismannextt omehasis
beyondatthisti
me.Wewal kedoutoftheoff
ice
andhadtoassur
ehi
mt hatIwillbef
inebefor
e
goi
ngtoknockonNt
ethelel
o'sdoorandIhearda
comeinbef
oreIwal
kedinsidetheoffi
ce.
Me:
"Hi"
Hegesturedachai
r.Hehasn'
tgr
eetedmeyetbutI
underst
and.Hethenopenedt
hedrawinhi
soffi
ce
andtookoutpaper
s.
Ntethelel
o:"Thi
sisthecopyoftheor
iginalone.
Sinceyouar eoutIwil
lhavetosendt
heor i
ginalt
o
yourlawyerandthedivorcepaper
swhichZamani
willsend."
Hesl
idt
heCopyt
omeandt
ookoutt
hekeysaswel
l.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"it
'sst
il
lfur
nished,
idi
dn'
twantol
d
memori
eswithme"
Me:
"thankyou"
HenoddedandIst
oodupandst
opped.
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elo"
Hel
ookedupt
ome.
Me:
"Iam sor
ryf
orever
ythi
ngIputyout
hrough,
i
real
lyam andIonedayhopeyoufi
ndi ti
nyour
heartt
oforgi
vemesowecanco- parentproper
lyon
Letho"
Hekeptqui
etandIwalkedoutofhi
sof
fi
ceandI
wentt
othecar.Igoti
nandsighed.
Me:
"Ihaveahouse,
IguessIam movi
ngout"
Razor:
"Hegaveyouahouse?"
Me:
"it
'swhatIgotaf
terwedi
vor
ced."
Nt
ambo:
"RazorHol
dyourgr
eenmonst
erpl
ease."
Razor:
"Iam j
ustaski
ng"
Anel
e:"canwegonow?"
Me:
"sur
ebaby"
Razorstartedthecarandhedr oveoffitwassilent.
Wellalmost, Ntambowast al
kingtoAnel eandI
don'tevenwantt oengagei nthatconversati
on.We
gottoThembi saandRazordr ovetot hat
Chisanyamaagai n, apartofmegotabi texci
ted
whenseei ngapl aceli
kethis.Hepar kedhiscarby
thecarwashandweal lgotout.IheldAnel eclose
tome.
Razor:
"washmycar"
Hegavet
hekeystosomeguywhonoddedandwe
wentt
ogoandsitdown.
Nt
ambo:
"Iseet
hel
adi
es,
Iwi
llseeyoul
ater"
Hewal
kedof
f.
Me:
"isheawomani
zer?"
Razor:
"Iguess"
Anel
e:"am Igonnageti
cecr
eam ?"
Razorsmi
led.
Razor:
"youwi
llgetal
otofi
cecr
eam "
Me:
"notaf
ter14h00"
Theyconversat
eamoungstt hemsel
ves.Thewai
ter
cameandt ookourdrinkor
dersandrazoror
der
ed
themeatandbunnychowf orAnel
e,wonderwhat
thati
s.Weshal lsee.
Me:
"soyouar
emadatme?"
Razorl
ookedatme.
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Me:"Ididn'
tjumponthet
abl
eandhavei
twi
thhi
m
orf
elli
nlovewithhi
m"
Razor:
"Let
'snotdoi
ther
e"
Me:
"mmh"
Ilookedawayandjustl
ist
enedtothemusic.Our
foodcameandsoasourdr i
nks.Thebunnychow
l
ookedabi tbi
gforAnel
ebutheseemedt obe
enjoyi
ngmessingwithf
ood.
Anel
e:"Mommyt
hisi
sni
ce."
Me:
"ri
ght?"
Henodded.
Razor:
"wecanbuymor
elat
erf
oryou"
Hesmi l
ed.MyphonerangandItooki
toutand
razorwaslooki
ngatme.Iignor
edhim andI
answered.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"Masahi,
what
'sup"
Masa,al
sooneofthepeopl
eIusedtogetal
ong
wi
thinpr
isonsi
ncetheti
meRazorlef
t.
Masa:
"ei
shi
t'
sal
ot"
Me:
"what
'sal
ot?"
Masa:
"Nel
lydi
ed."
Me:
"what!
?"
Peopl
ear
oundusl
ookedatme.
Me:
"No,
don'
tsayt
hat!Shecan'
tdi
e"
Tear
sst
reameddownmycheeks.
Masa:"Ihadtol
etyouknow.Igotyournumber
s
f
rom Axe,Icont
act
edher.LookIhavetogo"
Me:
"Wha.
..
..
whatki
ll
edher
.?"
Masa:"sui
cide,
theyear
sweretoomuchonherI
guesssi
nceyoulef
tshewasn'
tfunct
ional"
Me:
"OhmyGod"
Masa:
"Ihavet
ogo"
Shehungupandiputmyphonedownandlai
dmy
headonthet
abl
eandcri
ed,Iwasplani
ngon
vi
siti
ngNel lythi
sweekendandnowt hi
s, wetr
eated
eachot herli
kesister
s.Ithoughttheprogr
am was
helpi
ngusbebet ter,t
hatwewer ebett
erbutIwas
cl
ear l
ywr ong.Shewasn' tbet
ter,
shewasn'tokand
coping.
Anel
e:"whyi
smommycr
ying?
"
Razor:
"Uhm .
..
"
Ihear
dsomeonecomeandIguesstheyt
alkedand
aft
erawhi
lehetouchedmyback.
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Isobbed.
Razor:
"Babet
ellmewhat'
swr
ong.Iam pani
cki
ng,
Idon'
tknowwhattodo"
Ikeptoncr
ying.Hepul
ledmeof
fthet
abl
eandhel
d
me.
Razor:
"i
t'
sok.I
t'
sal
waysok"
Me:
"whyher?"
Hekeptqui
et.
.
.
★ WENDY★

Iwokeupf rom mybedandwal kedoutofmy

bedroom andmademywayt othekitchen.Mama
wasmoppi ngthekitchen.Istaywithmymot her
only,Idohaveothersibli
ngsbuttheyar eworki
ng
andsomemar r
ied,thereareonlyjustthe3ofus
andconsidermet heblacksheepbecauseIdidn't
evenfini
shmymat r
ic.
Ma:"13h45!Youwakeup,
QueenEl
izabet
hhas
woken."
Me:
"MamaIhaveaheadache"
Mama: "Idon'
tknowanymor eWendy,
Ijustwash
myhandswi t
hyou.Eversi
nceyouint
eract
edwith
thatboyyoubecameahugemessandmessedup
yourfutur
e"
Me:
"MahIl
ovehi
m"
Shel
aughed
Mama:
"Thi
sisadi
ff
erentt
ypeofl
oveWendy,
go
andbat
handst
opmessi
ngmyf
loor
s"
Shecarr
iesonmoppi
ngandIgototakeabathin
thebat
hroom.Ij
ustcan'
tunl
over
azor,i
t'
shar
d.
.
.
*RAZOR*

Wegott omyhouseandIl ef
tAnel einthelounge
watchingTV.Unat hihascal meddownabi tandI
am gladbecauseseeingawomancr yusabi g
mess.Idon'tknowwher et ostartcomf or
ti
ng.
ShouldIsaysorryaftershehascr iedorkeepon
utt
eri
ngmot ivat
ionalwordsImysel fdon'
t
understandandthe"kanjani,Nini? (How, when?)
QuestionsIcan'
tanswer .Thisisamessr eall
y.
Me:
"Nana"
Shet
urnedandl
ookedatme.
Me:
"youok?"
St
upi
dquest
ionbecauseshei
snotok.
Unat
hi:
"pl
easehol
dme"
Igeti
nbedandIpul
lhercl
oset
ome.
Unathi:
"itwasr
ightaf
teryoul
eft,
Ifel
lpregnant
withAnel
eandafterIwasouti
ntoSoli
tar
yf ora
year"
Iguessshei
stel
li
ngmeandIshoul
dli
sten.She
sni
ffed.
Unathi:
"ri
ghtaf
terbei
ngi
nSol
it
aryIwaschanged
cel
ls,meandMasa"
Me:
"Iknowher"
Shenodded.
Unathi:
"that'
swhenImetNel l
y,shehadbeenin
pri
sonforayearandshewasamessaver ybigone
.Ihelpedherandshet oldmeherstory,astor
yof
howshewasabusedbyherhusbandandoneday
hewasaboutt oki
llherbuthedi dt
hatinor
derto
savehersel
f.Shewassent encedto30years.With
ti
meshebecameok.Li velyandbubbl
yandnowshe
i
sdead.Shehungher self"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Ipullhercl
osert
ome.Idon'
tevenknowwhatshe
usedt ohangher
sel
fwi
thbutt
hereareal
otof
thi
ngsyoucanuseinpri
son.
Me:
"Iwoul
dn'
timagi
nei
fIhadl
ostyou"
Shechuckl
ed.
Unat
hi:
"youwoul
dhavebeenmi
ser
abl
e"
Me:
"ver
yandwi
thWendynaggi
ng"
Shel
aughedabi
t..
Me:
"itwi
llbeokNana"
Shenodded.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
31] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t13
Myphoner angaft
erIwasi nsleep.I
twokemeup
fr
om thatsl
eep,Igotofft
hebedandIl ooked
aroundanditwasnightti
me, verydark.Itst
opped
andVibrat
edonceagainandIl ookoveritandit
wasdad.OhgodIam i nbi gt
rouble.Ianswerit.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Dad:"Youar
eali
ve.Woul
dn'
tknowwhatt
hatboy
haddonetoyou"
Me:
"Dad.
..
..
"
Dad:"Unat
hiwhateveryoudoIdon'
twantAnel
e
bei
ngharmed.
Me:
"Ra.
.l
indaniwoul
dn'
thar
m hi
sownson"
Dad:
"yetsomedo.I
t'
smi
dni
ght
.Sl
eep."
Me:
"ohw"
hehungup.Iputmyphonedownandl ookedatmy
si
deandrazorwasnowhere.Igoyofft
hebedand
mademywayoutoft hebedroom ,hewassit
ti
ng
onthecouchwit
htheli
ght
soni nboxer
swithbooks
i
nfr
ontofhim.
Me:
"it
'smi
dni
ght"
Het
urnedt
ome.
Razor:
"Iknow.Ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Iam f
eel
ingbet
ter
."
Razor:
"that
'sgood."
Iwenttositnextt
ohi
m andhetookapenand
wroteonabunchofnumbersandthenhecl
osed
thebook.
Razor:
"ar
eyouhungr
y?"
Me:
"Uhm no.What
'st
hatabout?"
Razor:
"thebooksf
rom myeat
ery"
Me:
"oh."
Razor:
"Ijustneedt
omakehal
fami
ll
ionmor
e
bef
oreIcanopenanother"
Me:
"Youseepassi
onat
eaboutmaki
ngmoney"
Razor:
"Idi
dn'
tgrowuparoundi
tsoIal
waysmake
sur
eIalwayshavemoney"
Me:
"mmmh"
Razor:
"howi
syourhai
rsal
oni
deagoi
ng?"
Me:
"dadi
sgonnasponsermesoi
t'
sgoi
ng,
wher
e
i
sAnel
e?"
Razor:
"asl
eep"
Me:
"ok."
Hepul
ledmet
ohi
m.
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"Yes"
Razor:"Isyourl
oveformest
rongenought
o
withst
andgoingthr
oughofwhoIam.Mypastand
everyt
hing"
Me:
"Iam herebecauseyourpastofhowyougrew
updoesn'
tscar
eme.I tshoul
dn'ti
nthefi
rstpl
ace"
Razor:
"it
'sj
ustwecomef
rom t
wodi
ff
erentwor
lds
"
Me:"andt
hosewor
ld'
sar
ecol
li
dingandmer
gingt
o
one"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Comel
et'
sgosl
eep"
West
oodupandswi
tchedof
fthel
ight
sgoi
ngt
ohi
s
r
oom.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Thabi
sa:
"Razordoesn'
tappr
eci
ateyouchomi"
Me:"Iknow,
butheusedt
obef
oret
hatwoman
came"
Thanksa:"youhavet
oremoveher
.Youj
ustneed
si
mpleplani
ng."
Shepassedtheci
gar
ett
etomeandIt
ookapuf
f
andl
etoutthesmoke.
Me:
"Iam Wendy"
Thabi
sa:
"youar
eWendyandnot
hingget
spastyou
"
Me:
"youar
eri
ght!Not
hingchomi"
Itakeanot
herpuf
fandpasst
heci
gar
ett
etoherand
shepuffs.
Thabisa:
"Idon'
tknowwhatIwoul
ddoi
fKaudi
d
thatt
ome"
Me:"makesur
enooner
emovesyou"
Thabi
sa:
"theywoul
dn'
tdar
etr
yme"
Sheturnedupthevol
umeinhercar
.Ineededher
andshealwayspull
sthr
oughforme,Idodged
mom thismorni
ngsoshewouldn'
tkeeponnaggi
ng.
Thabisa:
"Ehchomit
heGali
sper
for
mingwi
fel
y
duti
esalready"
It
urnandl
ookatRazor
'shouseandsheis
sweepi
ngi
nsi
dethenshegoesbackin.
Me:
"Nx.Let
'sgo"
Wegetoutoft
hecarandshet
hrowst
heci
gar
ett
e
andwemakeourwayin.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
Iam notusedtocl
eaningbutithel
psthatIdi
dn'
t
doital
one.Thoughthishouseisnotasbigas
home,thatal
sohelped.
Nt
ambo:
"thi
sismal
eabuse"
Me:
"whowi
llmar
ryyoui
fyouar
elazy"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam Nt
amboandanywomanwi
llwant
me."
Razor:
"andt
hat
'swhyyouar
eher
ewi
thoutone"
Nt
ambo:
"yetyouar
etheonewhowi
llcook"
Me:"
.Gott
hatr
ight"
Razor:
"butIcan'
t"
Anel
e:"wewi
llgett
hatbur
gerf
rom yest
erday!
"
Razor:
"that
'sr
easonabl
eboy"
Me:"ahnoi
t'
sjunk.Nowehavet
ohaveapr
oper
meal"
Nt
ambo:
"Ayir
azorni
yaqoma(y'
al
ldat
erazor)
"'
Razor:
"Nt
ambo"
Me:
"t
hat
'
snotni
ce"
Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.
Me:
"babygoputt
hisaway"
Aneletookthebroom andwal
kedof.Iwentand
openedthedoorandWendywi thherfr
iendwere
st
andingthere.Shepushedmeof fandwalkedi
n.
Me:
",Heeh"
Thabi
sa:
"youar
eadogr
azor"
Ntambo:"you,di
dn'
tIt
ellyout
hatIwil
lsl
ityour
thr
oat?Iseemyancest
orsarebr
ingi
ngina
sacri
fi
ce,it
'sasi
gn"
Hesteppedcl
osert
oherf
li
cki
nghi
skni
feoutof
nowhere.
Me:
"Razordosomet
hing"
Thabi
sa:
"wear
enotscar
ed"
Razor:
"youshoul
dbe"
Ntambo:"mmmeeehhhmmeeehhht
hat'
showt
he
sacr
if
icest
art
sbef
orei
tget
ssl
aught
ered"
Icoul
dn'
thol
dmysel
f.
Wendy:
"Justbewar
ned."
Razor:
"Wendyvoet
sekoutofmyhouse"
Shel
ookedatme.
Wendy:
"youwi
llr
eepwhatyousow"
Me:
"Sameasyour
sel
f"
Shewal
kedoutofthehouse.Ilookedatr
azorand
wal
kedt
othebedroom.Hef ol
lowed.
Razor:
"Don'
tbemadatmeUnat
hi"
,
Me:
"Iam not"
Razor:"t
henwhydi
dyouwal
kawayandl
ookatme
l
ikethat?"
Me:
"it
snot
hing"
Razor:
"don'
twor
ryaboutWendy.Iwi
llsor
therout
"
Me:
"youbet
ter"
Hecameandpickedmeupt
henwentt
ocl
oset
he
doorl
ocki
ngi
t.
Razor:
"howaboutIsor
tyouout"
Me:
"whydi
dyoucl
oset
hedoor?"
Razor:
"Iam sor
ti
ngusout"
Hepl
acedmeont
hebedandgotont
opofme.
Me:
",hai
bo"
Heki
ssedmyl
ipsandr
esponded.
Razor
:"Ar
ewesor
ti
ngt
hisout?
"
Igi
ggl
edthennodded.Heki
ssedmeneckandwent
downput
tinghi
shandsunderthet
-shi
rtIam wear
ofwhi
chheownsandsqueezesmybr easts.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
32] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t14
Ikeptonhummi ngwhi lemakingasandwi ch,i
t'
s
beenaf ewdaysandIal sogotmycarasper
demandf r
om Razor.Ididgoandcheckoutt heold
houseandonceIst artmakingmoney, Iwi l
lmake
somechanges.I tdoesholdoldmemor iesandbad
onesofwhi chIputNt ethel
elomost lyt
hr ougheven
beforeAndiswacamei ntothei
rlives.Anel ewentt o
theirhouseasshemi ssedherothersiblings.I
didn'tmindatallandittookRazorawhol elotof
Pussyt ogethimt oagreeandl etthekidbe, Imean
theydidbasicall
yraisehim withthehelpofmy
fatheraswell.Mawal ksinandshesmi ledwhi le
l
ooki ngatme.
Ma:
"MmmhSomeone'
shappy"
Me:"whenever
ythi
ngi
sgoi
ngok,
whywoul
dn'
tI
be?"
Ma:
"it
'st
hatboy"
Me:
"pr
eci
sel
y"
Shel
aughedabi
t.
Ma:
"OhmyGod"
Me:
"Suk'
emabozeni"
Ist
uff
edt
hesandwi
chi
nmymout
h.
Ma:
"Iwasn'
tsi
ngi
ngyoursi
ll
ysong"
Igi
ggl
edandcl
osedmymout
h.
Me:
"Youknowma"
Iswal
lowedandshesatdownont
hehi
ghchai
r.
Me:"Ihaveneverfel
tthi
sway, i
t'
sli
keIam newat
t
hisyetIhavebeenmar r
iedbef
ore"
Ma:"itwi
llal
waysbenewwit
hadi
ff
erentper
son
hasthesameintent
ions"
Me:"Ihaveneverseenl
if
einRazor
'seyes.It'
ssad,
i
t'
salearni
ngexperi
enceandal
soit
'senjoyabl
eas
wel
l."
Ma:"it
'spartofl
ove.Youl
ear
nthedeepestt
hings
aboutyourpart
ner"
Me:
"Iguess."
It
akeanot
herbi
teandt
henputt
hesandwi
chdown.
Me:"shoul
dIt
ellhi
m aboutLet
habo?Idi
dtel
lhi
m
aboutmyment
alill
ness"
Ma:
"what
everf
eel
sri
ghtwi
thyout
henyoushoul
d
"
Inodded.
Me:
"thanksma"
Ma:"anyt
ime.Letmegoandcar
ryonwi
thmy
wor
k."
Inoddedandshewal
kedof
f.Ir
eal
lyam l
ovi
ngt
his
newexperi
ence.
.
.
*
SIYAMTHANDA*

Andi
swa:
"it
'shar
dreal
ly.Howi
sthei
nvest
igat
ion
goi
ng?"
Me:"it
'sgoi
ng, t
hethugsarebeingsketchedas
MamBal udescr
ibedthem buti
t'
snotclear.Ayanda
wantshismoneybackandhei sreal
lyangr yabout
i
t."
Andi
swa:
"Ij
usthopei
t'
snotaf
fect
ingyouguys"
Me:
"itwon'
t"
It
ookasipf
rom myj
uiceandl
ookedatDi
nawho
wasver
yqui
et.
Me:
"Di
neki
le"
Shel
ookedatme.
Di
na:
"ohyouwer
esayi
ng?"
Andi
swa:
"wher
eisyourmi
ndatgi
rl?"
Shesi
ghed.
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Di
na:
"ienvyyouguys"
Shesi
ghsagai
n.
Andiswa:"why?Youseehowourl
ivesar
e
miserabl
eatti
mes"
Me:"yeahlookatMyhusbandwholostcl
oset
oa
mi
ll
ionrand'sandnowi
sstressi
ngus"
Andi
swa:
"andt
her
etur
nofmyhusband'
sexwi
fe"
Di
na:
"Iwoul
dhandl
ethat"
Me:
"what
'st
hepr
obl
em r
eal
l
y?"
Di
na:
"Il
oveZamanibut.
.."
Andi
swa:
"ther
eshoul
dn'
tbeabut"
Dina:
"noIr eal
lydobutbei
nghisgir
lf
ri
endf orso
l
ongIthinkit'
sawaste.Iwantustobeclearwith
eachothernow, i
fIshoul
dleaveorwhat?You
know"
Me:
"ohyeahwesee"
Di
na:
"ar
ghl
etmenotbemoppy"
Shewi
pedat
earaswel
l.
Me:
"okwhat
'sr
eal
lywr
ongDi
na?"
Shethensobbedandwewentt
oherandwe
huggedher.
Di
na:
"Ican'
t,Ican'
tmakehi
m happy"
Andi
swa:
"youal
waysmakehi
m happy"
Sheshookherheadandkeptoncr
ying.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

wewer ebyanopenfieldwit
hNt ambo.Hei sthe
onlyfamil
ymemberwhohashadmybackandso
asIhaveaswel l
.Thoughwecangetoneach
other'
sthr
oat
sbutweal waysgoteachot her
.He
fi
nishesSmokingandthrowshiscigaret
teaway.I
don'tsmoke,Ionl
ydrink.Ineverl
ikedsmokingI
guess.
Ntambo: "ngi
mcimeumpukane?Ngathiuseba
i
scefe(shouldIki
llt
hef
ly?Sheseemstobea
nuisance)"
Me:
"Itwi
llbeobvi
ousf
ornow"
Henodded.
Nt
ambo:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"whatabouther?"
Ntambo:"whatmadeyouint
erest
edi
nher,
shei
sa
cheesegi
rlbyt
helooks"
Me:"shei
s"
Ntambo:
"ngiyakhat
halaisi
ngi
sibohNam (Iget
t
ir
edofEngl
ishaswel l)
"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tmeant
o"
Wel
ookedatt
heki
dspl
aysoccer
.
Nt
ambo:
"meant
owhat?"
Me:"fal
lforher
.Ij
ustwant
edsomeoneIcan
r
eleasemysexualt
ensi
ononto"
Ntambo:"whathappenedt
othatnur
sef
rom pr
ison.
Shejustdi
sappear
ed"
Me:
"Iki
ll
edher"
Nt
ambo:
"Iknewi
t,j
ustdi
dn'
tknowwhy"
Me:"shef
edUnat
hiabor
ti
onpi
ll
sthatki
ll
edour
chi
ld"
Ntambo: "Iwouldhavetal
kedtot
heancestorsf
ir
st
andtellt
hem thatt
heirmeali
scomingbeforeki
ll
ing
her."
Me:
"youst
il
lweart
hatgr
eenst
ri
ng?
"
Hel
if
tedhi
st-
shi
rt
.
Ntambo:"ri
ghther
e.Madoesn'
tmakeitaf
ail
.It
's
l
ikesheseseswhenIhavet
akenitof
f.
Me:
"(l
aughi
ng)wher
eissheanyway?"
Nt
ambo:
"Wor
kingasamai
dsomewher
e"
Me:
"shest
il
lwant
stoseeyou?"
Nt
ambo:"Idon'
tknow.Shewast
ornt
hedayIwas
ar
rest
ed"
Me:"shei
syourpar
ent
.Shedoesn'
twantbadon
you"
Ntambo:"Idi
dherbadsomanyti
mesyetshe
al
waysremainedt
otellmehowmuchshelovesme
"
Ther
ewassi
lence.
Me:
"ohIsawFezekaaf
ewweeksago"
Ntambo:"nxx.Ishoul
dhavest
abbedt
hatbi
tcht
he
dayIhel
dheri nmyarms."
Ne:
"thewor
ldhi
thersomuch"
Nt
ambo:
"good."
Me:
"let
'sgo"
Wewentt
othecarandgoti
nandhedr
oveof
f.
.
.
*
DINA*

Iwentdownonmykneesandst art
edpr ayingt
hatI
havethest r
engthtotel
lhi
m whateverthatIneedto
tel
lhim.Itshatter
edmewhenIhear dthenewsand
whatwi l
litdotohim ?Iam scar
ed.Ijustrecent
ly
movedi nhishouseaf ewmonthsagoaf t
eryear
sof
askingmet omovei n.MaybeSinaandmom ar e
punishi
ngmewher evert
heyare.Ifini
shedmy
prayerandsatont hebed.
"
Babe!
"
Iheardhim shoutf
rom downthestai
rsandIwi
ped
myt ear
s.Hei shomeearly,
thesedayshewoul
d
comehomeat19h00.Ibreathedoutandwalked
downthestair
sandmethim attheloungeashe
waschangingthetv.Het
urnedt omeandsmi l
ed
bef
oreleavi
ngakissonmyf orehead.
Zamani:
"howwasyourday?"
Ne:
"itwasok.Youar
ehomeear
ly"
Zamani:
"yeah,Icl
earedandcancel
edmeet
ingmy
cl
ient
sbecauseImissedyou"
Ismi
ledandi
tfaxedabi
t.
Me:
"Icookedbutweneedt
otal
kfi
rst"
Hel
ookswor
ri
ed.
Zamani:
"ar
eyouok?"
Ms:
"uhm yes.
..
.noIam not
.Let
'ssi
tdown"
Wewal
kovert
othecouchandheswi
tchedof
fthe
t
v.
Me:
"Il
oveyouZamani"
Zamani:
"Il
oveyout
ooDi
na"
Me:
"uhm l
etmef
ini
sh"
Zamani:
"Di
nai
fyoucheat
edIwi
llbur
ryt
hatman
andI.
..
."
Me:
"Iam bar
ren"
Hei
ssi
lent
.
Me: "Iwantedtogoofft
hecontracept
ivebecauseit
star
tedtoaf f
ectmeandIfoundoutthatIcan'thave
babies.Ihavenofer
ti
leenougheggs.Slight
changesofmehavi ngachil
dis0,001%andt hat'
s
cl
oset onon"
Isni
ff
.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Hei
ssilentandIt
ryt
owi
pemyt
ear
sbutt
heykeep
onf
all
ing.
Zamani:
"comeher
e"
Hepul
ledmet
ohi
m andIcr
ied.
Zamani:
"it
'shar
dtosi
nki
n."
Isni
ff
.
Zamani:
"butt
her
eareopti
onsoutt
here.Sur
rogacy
i
soneandadopti
onIdon'
tknowbabybutIwon'tl
et
yougoforsomet
hingyouhaveanddon'
thave
cont
rolover"
Isobbed.
Zamani:
"shh.Lookatme."
Il
ookedathi
m.
Zamani:
"Il
oveyouok?"
Inodded.
Zamani:
"Ihavet
obet
rut
hfulaswel
l"
Iwasscar
ed.
Zamani:"Ihavebeenafrai
d,ofmarri
ageagainand
that'
swhyIhaven'tbeenbri
ngi
ngitupbutIreal
ly
doloveyouDi na,
youbr i
ngoutmanypersonali
ti
es
thatIneverknewIhad"
Heki
ssedmyhands.
Zamani:
"Ihaveworkedonmyf earandTher
eis
not
hingt
obeaf r
aidoff
.Iwantt
omar ryyou"
Idi
dn'
texpectt
hat
.Real
lyIdi
dn'
t.
Me:
"what?"
Zamani:
"whenwearebothr
eadyIwantust
obea
marr
iedcoupl
eoneday"
Ihuggedhi
m.
Me:Il
oveyouMnt
ungwa"
Zamani:
"Il
oveyouMpel
e"
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
32] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t15

*
WENDY*

Ihaven'
tbeenhomet hedaysandIam suremama
i
swor ri
edaswellbutIj
ustneededsomet i
meoff
fr
om anystresst
hatisabouttocomemyway.I
l
ookedoutthewindowandl ookedbackatThabi
sa
whowassmoki
ngherci
gar
ett
e.
Thabisa:
"gohomeandr
estnow,
for
ger
yabout
razor"
Me:
"yeahneh.Thanksf
ri
end"
Thabi
sa:
"pl
easur
ebabes."
Likehel
lIwoul d.Iopenedt
hedoorandgotoutand
closedthedoorbeforeshedroveoffasIwal
ked
i
nsidetheyardandknockedonceandopenedt he
door.Sheturnedherheadandl ookedatmebef
ore
focusi
ngont hetvagain.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Ma:
"MmhWendymmh"
Iwal
kedt
owar
dsmybedr
oom.
Ma:"ifyouwantt
odoasyoupl
easei
nmyhouseI
suggestyoumoveout"
Me:
"Iwon'
t"
Sheclappedherhandsandf
oldedherar
msand
st
aredatthetvagai
n.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Iwaswi pi
ngt hecounterinthekitchenjustafterI
wasdonecooki ng.Unat hihadwentoutabi ttoi
don'tknowwher ebutshehadl ef
t.Thehousewas
quietandjustasusual.Ihavebeenwor kingher e
foryearsaswellandit'
sagoodj obIhaveever
gottenbutdaysdon'tpassbywi t
houtthinki
ngi fmy
chil
disok.Ihaven'tgottenacal labouthisdeat hso
that'
sagoodsi gnsofar.ThedooropensandMr
Ngemaannounceshi sar r
ivalbutther
eissilence
andIgoandwasht hecl othandhewal ksint e
kit
chen.
MrNgema:
"ohMaMt
hobeni,
wher
eisUnat
hi?"
Me:
"shewentoutabi
tsi
r"
Hechuckl
ed.
MrNgema:
"howmanyt
imeshaveIt
oldyout
ocal
l
meSmiso"
Me:
"manyt
imes"
MrNgema:
"sowhydon'
tyouf
oll
owi
nst
ruct
ions?"
Me:
"Iam r
espect
ingyouasmyboss"
Hewal
ksaroundthecounterandt
akest
hecl
othout
ofmyhandsandplacesi
tinthesi
nk.
MeNgena: "youoverwor
kyoursel
fandappreci
ate
yourser
vicesMaDumabuttakeamomentt orel
ax"
Me: "youdon'
trel
axwhenyouar
eatwor
k,andi
t
keepsmebusy"
MrNgema:
"gof
reshenup.Iam t
aki
ngyouout"
Hewal
ksoutoftheki
tchenandIseehim wal
kup
t
hest
air
sbefor
edisappeari
ng.Isi
gh.
Me:
"ohmyGod"
Icl
osemyeyes.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Iwaspl
anni
ngongoi
ngt
othemal
landj
ust
browsingaroundwithoutactuall
ydoinganythi
ng
butZamahadt ocallmeandi nvi
temet oherhouse
soIopt edt
odr i
vethereatthi
smoment .WhenI
arri
vedKwandowasn' tther
e, i
t'
sjustherandher
twinsathome.
Me:
"thepl
acel
ookswonder
fult
hanbef
ore"
Zama:
"Idi
ddosomer
enovat
ionsher
eandt
her
e"
Ismi
ledandwesatdownont
hecouch.
Zama:
"dr
ink?"
Me:
"not
hankyou"
Shesmi
led.
Zama:
"so,
howi
sli
feoutofpr
isongoi
ng?"
Me:
"quietgood,
Iam wor
kingonmysel
fandr
ight
mywrongs"
Zama:
"that'
swonderf
ul.Iam ver
yproudofyou
anddi
dn'tl
etLondi
ecorruptyouf
urt
her"
Me:
"don'
tst
artmewi
tht
hatone"
Zama:
"andyouwer
ebestbuddi
es"
Me:"Iwasbl
indandst
upi
dbutnowIknowmuch
bet
ter
."
Zama:
"that
'
sgood"
MyphonerangandIt
ooki
toutofmybagandt
hen
Ianswer
edit
.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
Razor:
"Iam her
etoseeyou"
Me:
"Iam nothome"
Razor:
"That
'sbadbecauseImi
ssandwantt
osee
you"
Me:
"wear
eobsessedIsee"
Hechuckl
es.
Razor:
"sl
eepover?"
Me:
"Mostdef
ini
tel
y.Ihavet
ogo"
Razor:
"okNana"
Il
ookedatZamawhowasl
ooki
ngatmeandI
gi
ggled.
Me:
"aht
hatname.I
t'
sli
keIam achi
ld"
Razor:
"Unat
hi,
nana.SoIl
ikei
t"
Me:
"bye.Seeyoul
ater"
IhungupandZamal
ookedatme.
Me:
"what?"
Zama:
"thet
abl
e,spi
llt
hem "
Me:
"it
'sj
ustt
hings"
Zama:"andyouareevenblushingf
ort
heset
hings.
Youar
ef astMogalanddon'
tplay"
Me:
"atal
l"
Wel
aughandkeeponchat
ti
ng.
.
.
*
DINA*

Aft
erwhatZamanisaidIfeltateaseandabi t
cal
mert hanbef
orebutinalongr unitwi
llbe
aff
ecti
ngandIam scared.Wehadj ustf
inished
eati
ngandwewer ewatchingamovi e.Ithasbeen
l
ongsincewedi dt hi
ngsliket hese.Watchmovies
oranythi
ng,
ast hemovi ef i
nishedhet ookt
he
remoteandheopenedt hestat i
onandswi t
chedoff
thet
vandhewentt oi
tandt hent urnedtomewhen
asongwaspl aying.
Zamani:
"mayIhavet
hisdance?"
Isl
owlynoddedandher
emovedt
hef l
eeceof
fme
andpull
edmeupandheldmywaistandIhel
dhi
s
shoul
ders.
Zamani:
"rel
ax"
Iwasn'
treal
ly.
"Al
lthi
slovei
sforyou
Ever
ynot
ethatImay
Ever
ywor
dImi
ghtsay
Ever
ymel
odyIf
eel
Ar
eonl
yforyouandyourappeal
Ever
ypaget
hatIwr
it
e
Ever
ydayofmyl
if
e
Woul
dnotbef
il
ledwi
thoutt
het
hings
Thatmyl
ovef
oryounowbr
ings
ForyouImakeapr
omi
seoff
erdi
li
ty
Nowandf
oret
erni
ty
Noonecoul
drepl
acet
hisl
ove
ForyouIt
akeyourhandandhear
tandever
ythi
ng
Andaf
tert
hem aweddi
ngr
ing
Causet
hisl
if
eisnogoodunknown
Si
ncewe'
vebecomeone,
youal
lIknow.
I
fthi
sfeel
ingshoul
dleave,
Iwoul
ddi
e
Andher
eiswhy,
allIam i
sforyou.
..
..
."
Zamani:
"canyouheart
hat?"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"what?"
Zamani:
"thesong"
Inoddedandheki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Zamani:
"Il
oveyouDi
naandl
ovi
ngyoumeans
l
ovi
ngever
ythi
ngboutyoubadorgood,
leavi
ngyou
i
snotanopti
onnei
theri
slet
ti
ngyougo"
Tearspri
ckl
edmyeyesandt
heyj
ustf
ellandhe
wipedthem.
Me:
"Zamani:
"
Zamani:
"Il
oveyouok?Wewi
llbeok"
Inoddedandhegaveasof
tper
k.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Isatonthebedinagownnotsur
eifIshouldgoof
not.Thi
sismybossandbesi
desthatfacthei
ssti
ll
amar ri
edman.Aknockonthedoordi
st ur
bsme
fr
om myt hought
s.
MrNgema:
"Phi
li
siwe"
Me:
"Iam si
ck!
"
IsayandIhearhi
mlaugh.
MrNgema:
"Iwantyououti
nthenextmi
nut
e"
IsighandtakethedressandIwearitwi
thsandal
s
andt akemybagandmyheadi sti
edinadoekas
al
ways.Iwal ktothedoorandopenandheis
standingl
eani
ngbyt hewall
.Icough.
Me:
"Iam notwel
lMrNgema"
Heshotmeal
ook.
MrNgema:
"youseem f
ineandtakeof
fthedoek
Si
wewearebei
ngyoungtoni
ght"
Me:"whati
fUnathicomeshome.Sheneedst
o
havesomeonehome"
MrNgema:
"shei
sgoi
ngt
oherboyf
ri
end'
shouse"
Me:
"ohIsee."
Het
akesof
fmydoekandl
ooksatme.
MrNgema:
"nowgocombyouraf
ropr
oper
ly."
Itakeoutacombf rom mybagandIcombitandi
t'
s
soreti
llIgetdoneandshoveever
ythi
ngi
nmybag.
MrNgema:
"let
'sgo"
Me:
"ah.
..
"
HeshookhisheadandIf
eltdef
eat
ed.Wewal
ked
of
ftohiscar,
heopenedt
hedoorforme.
MeNgema:
"youl
ookwonder
ful"
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.
Me:
"thankyou"
Igoti
nandhecl
osedt
hedoorandwentt
ohi
ssi
de.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
32] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t16

WhenIgothomei tseemedli
kether
ewasnoone
butIam sur
eMai sinhercot
tageattheback.I
packedanoverl
oadingbag.Idon'
tknowwhat
occasi
onthatwewillhavet
ogot ot
omor r
owandI
am justdoi
ngthatsosomeofmycl othescanbe
thereforj
usti
ncase.Ifi
nishedupandIcalled
Andiswaandsheansweredi namatterofti
me.She
gavemehernumbersoi fthekidsar
ebyherIcan
callwhenIwantto.
Andi
swa:
"hel
lo"
,
Me:
"hiAndi
swahowar
eyou?"
Andi
swa:
",,
Iam good."
Me:
"canIspeakt
othechi
ldr
en?"
Andi
swa:
"hol
donasecond"
Idi
dandIheardsomeshuf
fl
ingandt
henLet
ho'
s
voi
cecamefi
rst.
Let
ho:
"hel
lomommy"
Me:
"hel
lopr
incesshowar
eyou?
"
Let
ho:
"Iam ok,
Iam pl
ayi
ng"
Me:
"don'
tgethur
t"
Let
ho:
"Iwon'
t"
Anel
e:"mommy"
Me:
"heyboy"
Anel
e:",
,
Iloveyoumommy"
Myhear
twar
med.If
eltl
ikecr
ying.
Me:
"Il
oveyoual
lboy.Somuch."
Let
ho:
"okl
et'
sgopl
ay"
Me:
"butImi
ssyou"
Let
ho:
"byemommy"
Shehunguponme.Hebana.It ookmysui t
case
andbagandIwentdownt hestairs.Ilockedupand
wenttomycarandl oadedever ythingi nsi
debefore
Igotinthedri
ver
'sseatandIst artedmycarand
droveoff.Imademyf i
r ststopatt hemal landI
wenttobuysomesmal lstuffwit
hsnacksand
beveragesandCakeaswel l,Iwentt opayaf t
erthat
andImademywayt omycarbef or eIstart
ed
dri
vingoff.Myphoner angandIt ooki tand
answeredit.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
Razor:
"Thi
shabbi
tofyour
snana"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tchecksor
ryIam dr
ivi
ng"
Razor:
"youshoul
dhavet
oldmet
ofet
chyou"
Me:
"noIam ok"
Razor:
"ok.Iwi
llbedel
ayedsomewher
e."
Md:
"isi
topen?"
Razor:
"mycousi
nist
her
e"
Me:
"ok.Iwi
llseeyou"
Razor:
"sur
e"
Webot
hhungupandIf
ocusedont
her
oad.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Me:"asIwassayi
ng.Iwaslooki
ngatt
hebooksfor
t
hechisanyamaadithasmadeahugeprof
itt
his
month,wel
ldonet
oeveryone.
Theycl
appedt
hei
rhands.
Me:
"themeet
ingi
soveryoucangoandwor
k"
Thestuf
fdi
smissedandwentthei
rseper
ateways.I
walkedt
omyof f
iceandIgoti
nandIsatdownand
tookmybook.
Me:
"Hal
fami
ll
ion,
mmmh"
IhavebeensnoopingaroundandIheardwear e
beingwantedforst
eali
ngthatmoneywithWendyi n
Pretor
iaEast.NowIhavetot akecar
eofthatmess
becauseitseemsli
kethesepeopledoknowUnat hi
andIdon'twantherdaughterupinmymess.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

igotoutofthecarandtookmybagoutandt
he
plast
icsandwalkedinsi
dewit
hsome.
Me:
"Nt
ambo!"
Nt
ambo:
"yi
ni?(What?)
"
Me:
"hel
pmepl
ease"
Hegr
oanedandwal
kedout
.
Me:
"thankyou!"
Nt
ambo:
"yeahyeah"
Iwentt
otheki
tchenandunl
oadedt
hepl
ast
ic.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyoumovi
ngi
n?"
Me:
"noiam not
."
Hewal
kedi
nsi
det
heki
tchen.
Nt
ambo:
"seemsl
ikei
t"
Me:
",,
Iam anundeci
dedper
son"
Nt
ambo:
"your
eal
lyar
echeese"
Me:
"mywor
ddon'
tcal
lmet
hat"
Nt
ambo:
",,
butyouar
e"
Me:
"mxm "
Nt
ambo:"cookther
eMakoti,weneedt
oknow
whatwewil
lbesendingmoneyfor"
Me:
"(l
aughi
ng)Iam t
est
ed."
It
ookoutsomei
ngr
edi
ent
stocook.
Ntambo:"andIdon'
tdosushiandwhatnot
.Ido
r
ealfood"
Me:
"spaghet
tii
sfood"
,
Nt
ambo:
"Idon'
teatr
opes."
Me:
"toobadke"
Iwal
kedar
ound
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI
*

Wear rivedatanicerestaur
ant.Ihaveneverbeen
seatedi nsuchaplaceandIam underdr essedfor
theoccasi onandsoasMrNgema. .ImeanSmiso
aswel l.Thewaiterbri
ngsinthemenusandwal ks
off
.Ilookati tandIdon'tevenknowwhat '
s
happeni nghereandIpeakoverhi m andheseemed
toknowwhat '
shappening.Isi
ghedbef oreput
ti
ng
themenudown.
Smi
so:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhat
'swr
it
tenher
e"
Smiso:"don'tworr
y.Iwi
llor
derf
oryou,
anyt
hing
youareall
ergicto?"
Me:
"fi
sh"
Henodded.Thewai
tersooncame.
Wai
ter:
"canIt
akeyouror
der?"
Smiso: "yes.Iwil
lhaveaBruschet
ta.chi
ckenand
theladywi l
lhaveaPanzenel
la.Andfordesert
Croustadeauxpommes. "
Howcoul
dIpr
onouncet
hat?
Wai
ter:
"yessi
r"
Smi
so:
"andmakesur
ether
eisnof
ishdet
ect
ed"
Thewai
ternoddedandwal
kedof
f.
Me:
"what
'saPanzenel
la?
"
Smi
so:
"it
'sasal
ad"
Igavehi
m alookandrai
sedmyhandf
ort
hewai
ter
andthewai
tercame.
Me:
"Hemadeami
stake,
Ican'
thaveaPanzel
la
what
everi
tis."
Smi
sochuckl
ed.
Wai
ter
:"whatcanIgetyou?"
Me:
"meat
yfood.Iam notonadi
et"
Smi
sol
aughed.
Smi
so:
"ABr
uschet
ta.
chi
ckeni
sgoodandt
hesal
ad
"
Wai
ter:
"yessi
r"
Hewal
kedaway.If
oldedmyar
ms.
Smi
so:
"youar
emad"
Me:"youal
mostst
arvedmei
nar
est
urantf
ullof
Gr
eekwords"
Hechuckl
ed.
Smi
so:
"it
'sI
tal
ianandf
rench"
Me:
"yeaht
hat"
Smi
so:
"Iam gl
adyouar
elooseni
ngup"
Igott
oocomf
ort
abl
e.Thi
sismyboss.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Smi
so:
"it
'sok"
Il
ookedaway.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Ifi
nishedcooki
ngandIdi shedupf
ormeand
Ntamboandweat e.Razorwasnotbackt
il
lIwent
tobedandIf el
titmoveandIopenedmyeyes.
Razor:
"rel
axi
t'
sme"
Igotcl
osert
ohi
m andhehel
dme.
Razor:
"howwasyourday?"
Me:
"ok."
Razor:
"Ihear
dyouar
emovi
ngi
n"
Hechuckl
ed.
Me:"Iam not
.Ij
ustwant
edsomeofmycl
othes
her
e"
Razor:
"that
'sagoodi
dea"
Hepul
ledmyl
egup.
Me:
"Li
ndani
"
Razor:
"Justoner
ound"
Me:
"i
twi
llt
urnt
otwo"
Heki
ssedmyneck.
Razor:
"ok.CanIsl
eepi
nsi
deyou?
"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Razor:
"that
'sal
l"
Hepul
ledmypyj
amashi
rt
sdown.
Me:
"Ngomane"
Razor:
"tur
nar
ound"
Il
aidwi
thmybackfaci
nghi
m andherubbedmycl
it
andIMoanedandhesl
idi
nhisfi
nger
Me:
"razort
hisi
snotwhatwet
alkedabout
."
Razor:
"ok,
Iam sor
ry"
Het
akesouthi
shandandheshuf
fl
esbef
orehe
i
nser
tshi
msel
f
Me:
"nowsl
eep"
Razor:
"ok"
Icl
osedmyeyesandIf
elthi
m movei
nsi
deofme.
Me:
"Razor!
"
Hepusheditindeeperlett
ingmel etoutamoan.
Hetookapill
owandl aiditInf
rontofmeandhe
pul
ledoutandrestedmeoni tandhegotbehi
nd.
Meandheldmybut tbeforehesli
ppedinand
ouncesme.
Me:
"youar
esodea.
..
.ah"
Razor:
"Iam sor
rybaby"
Heki
ssedmyneckandtfwsyhewaspoundi
ngme
hewascl
aimi
ngitf
orSure.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
33] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
NSERT17

Iwaswokenupbyt hesunpenet r
ati
ngmyeyes
sharplyIwasdeadt i
redaswellandlazygowake
up.Ishookr azorwhohadhi sheavyleghooked
i
ntomi neandhegr oanedbutdidn'
twakeup.I
shookhim againandhedi dthesameagain.Ishook
him andli
ghtl
yslappedhischeeksandhegr oaned
andopenedhi seyesatlast.
Razor:
"whyar
eyouwaki
ngmeup?"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
twantt
owakeupal
one"
Razor:"f
orsomeonewhoi
sasol
dasyou,
youcan
actannoyi
ng"
Me:
"yetyoul
iket
hisannoyi
nggi
rl"
Hehookedhi
sar
m ar
oundmybody.
Razor:
"sl
eepUnat
hi"
Me:
"thesuni
sup"
Razor:
"andyouar
enotmar
ri
edsosl
eep"
Il
aidonhi
schestandheki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Razor:
"Ishoul
dIhavedonemor
eandmadeyou
t
ir
ed."
Me:
"nah"
Il
ookedathim ashesl
eptagai
nandj
ustst
ared.
Yesgir
lscanstar
eatsomeonewhent
heysleep.
.
.
*
DINA*

Iwokeupi nthemor ningearlyandIwentt oprepar

e
mysel ffort
hedaybef or
eImadebr eakf
ast.Iwas
feel
ingmuchl ighterthanyesterdayandZamani
endedi tquietsweet l
yandt astyifyouknowwhatI
mean.Imadeagoodbr eakfastforhim andwhenI
wasj ustsqueezi ngtheor angejuicehewalkedin
thekitchenalldressedupf orhisdayandcamet o
kissmycheek.
Zamani:
"mor
ningBaby"
Me:
"mor
ningmyAbut
iwaMzul
u"
Hechuckl
edandper
kedmyl
ips.
Zamani:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ingnow?"
Me:
"bet
ter"
Zamani:
"youshoul
dalways.Il
oveyouandt
hat
won'
tbechangedbyanyt
hing"
Me:
'met
oo"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Me:.Nowsitdownandhaveagoodbr
eakf
ast
bef
orewor
k"
Zamani:
"mmmh.Icanal
readyt
ast
eitI
nmy
mouth"
Igi
ggledandpr
epar
edhisplat
eandhandedi
tover
tohi
m andhetooki
tandstart
edeat
ing.
Me:
"Iwi
llbr
ingIsomet
reat
sfr
om wor
k"
Zamani:
"Iwi
llf
etchyoudur
ingyourl
unch"
Me:
"okt
hen,
Iloveyou"
Hesmi
led.
Zamani:
"Il
oveyoumor
eandbeyond"
Ismiled.Howmuchi
t'
ssogoodt
ohearhi
m say
that
.
.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI
*

Iwasi nthekitchendoi ngmyusualwor kr

outine.
MrNgemahasn' tenteredtheki t
chenasyetwhi ch
wasn' tli
kehim.Heal waysent eredthekit
chen
roundabout7andwoul dinf
orm mei fheisgoi ngto
wor kornot .Il ookedatt hedigitalwatchthatis
displayedont hef ri
dgeandi t'sover7am now.I
wipemyhandsandIpr eparethef oodontoat ray
andImademywayupt hestairstohisbedroom.I
knockedonceandwai tedandt hedoorwasopened.
Hewasst i
lli
nhi spyjamas.
Me:
"goodmor
ningsi
r"
Smi
so:
"Phi
li
siwe.Thi
ssi
rthi
ng"
Me:"myapol
ogi
es,Iwaswonder
ingshoul
dI
pr
epareyouf
orwor
kasitseemsl
ikeyouhaveover
sl
eptt
oday"
Smi
so:
"no.Iam notgoi
ngt
owor
k.Takeadayof
f
"
Ms:
"thehouseneedst
obemai
ntai
ned"
Smiso:"ther
eisnoonewhowasmessi
ngup
yest
erday"
Hewal
kedi
nsi
dehi
sbedr
oom.
Smi
so:
"NgenaMaMt
hombeni(geti
n)"
Iwalkedinslowlywit
ht hetrayholdingi tcl
oseto
mybody.Thi sismyfirstti
mebei ngi nhi sbedr
oom
anditisveryspaci
ous.Mor et hant hatt woroom I
usedtohave.Iputthet rayont hedr esserandI
tur
nar oundtowalkoutandIam st oppedbyhi s
voi
ce.
Smi
so:
"Ihadawonder
fult
imel
astni
ghtSi
we"
It
urnedt
ohi
m.
Me:
"met
oo"
Hesmi
led.
Smi
so:
"weshoul
ddoi
tagai
n"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowaboutt
hat"
Smi
so:
"Fr
idayni
ghti
sset
tl
edf
or"
Isighedandthennoddedandmademywayoutof
thebedroom andwenttocl
ean.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
wewokeupprettyl
ate.13h00wasr oundaboutthe
t
imewewokeupandcl eaneduponour sel
ves.
Ntambowasn'
tinthehouseandweguessedhe
wentsomewhere.Imadeussomet hingtoeatand
wewenttowatchsomeTV.
Razor:
"BabyImadeami
stake"
Il
ookedathi
m andhesi
ghed.
Me:
"whati
sit?"
Razor:
"Ican'
ttel
lyoubutIwi
llf
ixi
t"
Me:
"youbet
terl
indani"
Henodded.
Razor:
"comel
et'
sgoandt
akeawal
k"
WegotoffthecouchandIwentt
owasht hedishes
andaft
erIwenttowearmyshoesandhet ookthe
housekeysandhelockedaswewalkedoutholdi
ng
handsandmadeourwaydownt hestreet
sofhis
hood.
Me:
"sowhatar
ewegonnabuyt
hist
ime?"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:"youneedt
ocomemor
eof
tensoIcanshow
youalotofthi
ngs"
Me:
"Iwi
ll
.Don'
twor
ry"
Wewal kedar
oundandwewenttotheshop.The
exci
tementonmyfacewaspr
icel
ess.Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"youl
ooksohappy"
Me:
"Iam "
Sal
esper
son:
"ShoshoRazor"
,
Razor:"sho,asikhi
pheezikhal
akamnandi
emlonyeni(,
bringgoodies)"
Thesal
esper
sonnoddedandwal
kedof
f.
Me:"whati
sthatroundt
hingkonj
e?I
gwi
nyar
ight?
(Fat
koekri
ght?)"
Razor
:"yesat
leastyouknowt
hings"
Me:
"dot
heyhavet
hat?
"
Razor:
"youwanti
t?"
Inoddedandherequestedf
orthem andf
ri
edchips
aswellbutsi
ncethefr
iesar
efini
shedwehadto
waitandwedidn'
tmind.Razorhel
dmef r
om behind
andkissedmyneck.
Razor:
"Il
ovet
hisUnat
hi"
Me:
"Il
ovehert
oo"
Razor:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Idon'
twannacopyyousoSameher
e"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"(whi
sper
ingi
nmyear)NoIwantyout
o
sayi
t"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ip.
Me:
"Il
oveyouNgomane"
Razor:
"that
'si
t."
Hehuggedmefrom behi
ndandwestoodt
her
e
wai
ti
ngforourt
hingstobebr
ought
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
36] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t18

Wegotwhatweneededandwewer eonourway
backtothehouse,hehookedhisarm ar
oundmy
shoulderandwecarri
edonwalkingwhiletal
kingat
thesamet i
me.Iwassuckingontheloll
ipopatthe
samet i
me,Ihavej
ustlear
nttoenjoyi
t.Mom
wouldn'
twantt
oseeusevereat
ingal
oll
ipop
sayi
ngit'
sunl
adyl
ike.
Razorn:
"thewayyouar
esucki
ngt
hatl
oll
ipop"
Me:
"ayigetyourmi
ndoutoft
her
e"
Razor:
"Butmymi
ndshoul
dbeever
ywher
ewi
th
you"
Me:
"wear
eint
hest
reet
.Itshoul
dn'
tbet
her
e."
Razor:
"real
lyi
t'
sther
ewi
thyourt
onguedoi
ngt
hat"
Me:
"si
esyazisi
es"
Hechuckl
edandki
ssedmycheek.
Razor:
"Mybabymama"
Me:
"andgi
rl
fr
iend."
Razor:
"andGi
rl
fr
iendkahl
ekahlemyYonki
ntoat
t
hemoment(actuall
ymyever
ythi
ngatt
hemoment
)"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"andwhent
hemomenti
sover?"
Razor:
",
itwi
llneverbe"
Inodded.
Razor:
"comeIwantt
oshow yousomet
hing"
Wet akeashor tl
eftandwecar ryonwal kingwhi l
e
tal
king, it
'sactuall
yni cet
hiswal king.Ihavebeen
l
ockedupi npri
sonf orsolongi tjustfeelsniceto
takeupal lt
hefreedom andj ustusei tbefor e
anythingel seaswel l.Wecar ri
edont al
kingandI
toldhim Iwi l
lbegoi ngtoveiwt hebui l
dingt hatIwil
l
beusi ngf ormySal on.Wear ri
vedatapl aceandi t
l
ookedl i
kesomeki ndofchur ch.Wewentt hereand
hehel dmyhandandwewal kedinandt herewer e
peopl esingingaroundandoneguyseemedt obe
directingthem.
"Hai
lhol
yQueenandt
hrownabove
OhMar
iah,
hai
lmot
herofMer
cy
Andofl
ove,
ohMar
iah.
..
."
Theystoppedandturnedt
ousandthechoi
r
di
rect
orcamet owardsus,mor
eli
kechargi
ngatus.
Hi
m:"whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Razor:
"It
houghtever
yonei
swel
comedher
e"
Theguyl
ookedatme.
Hi
m:"t
hisi
snotapl
acef
orsomeonel
ikeyouRazor
"
Me:
"ist
hisachur
ch?"
Razor:
"yes"
OhIsee.
Hi
m:"nowt
hatyouknow,
thewayouti
sther
e"
Razor:
"foraChr
ist
ianyouar
ebei
ngj
udgement
al"
Helet
sgoofmyhandandt
hekeyboar
dguymoves
andhesi
tsdown.
Razor:
"Godsayscomet
omemychi
ldr
enorcome
for
th"
Hest
art
stopl
ay.Razori
sful
lofsur
pri
ses.
Razor:
"whatar
ewedoi
ng?"
Guy:
"Hi
ghj
acki
ngourpr
act
ice"
Razor:
"No,
wear
eli
steni
ngt
othewor
d."
Hecar
ri
esonpl
ayi
ng.
Razor
:"Unat
hi"
Me:
"mmh"
Razor:
"comewi
thasong"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Razor:
"anyt
hing"
Me:
"ei
shIdon'
tknowmuchgospelsongs"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"I'
vehadmyshar
esofupsanddowns
Ti
meswhent
her
ewasnoonear
ound.
Godcameandspoket
hesewor
dst
ome
Pr
aisewi
llconf
uset
heenemy.
..
..
"
Hel
ookedatme
Razor:
"doyouknowt
hatone?"
Inodded.
Razor:
"comeon."
Me:
"I'
vehadmyshar
esofupsanddowns,
Ti
meswhent
her
ewasnoonear
ound.
Godcameandspoket
hesewor
dst
ome
Pr
aisewi
llconf
uset
heenemy
SoIst
art
edsi
ngi
ng
Ist
art
edcl
appi
ng
Ist
art
eddanci
ng,
peopl
ewer
elaughi
ng
Theyknewmypr
obl
ems,
theyknewmypai
n
ButIknewGodwi
llt
aket
henaway.
..
."
Therestofthepeoplestar
tedjoi
ninginandsoas
Razor.Itwasquietfunactual
lyvery,Idi
dn'
tknowI
coul
devensi ngproperinf
rontofpeoplel
etal
one
whenIam alonebutt hi
swasf un.
Ever
yone:
"Ohohpr
aiseHi
m
Whent
hingsar
egood(
prai
seHi
m)
Pr
aiseHi
m(pr
aise)
Tr
oubl
eonever
ysi
de(
prai
se)
AndwhenI
'
m br
oke(
whenI
'
m br
oken)
Iwi
llpr
aiseHi
m
Pr
aiseHi
minadvance,
ohoh.
..
..
"
Weendedt
hesongandever
yonecl
appedt
hei
r
handsandsoasI
.Itwasr
eal
lyexci
ti
ng.
Razor:
"youar
eanat
ural"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tevenknowIcanhol
dasi
ngl
enot
e"
Hechuckl
ed.
"Youf
indyourGodgi
vent
alent
sinhi
shouse"
Weallt
urnedanditl
ookedl
ikeapast
orwi
ththat
whi
tecolort
hingt
hatIdon'
tknowandaBi
ble.
Razor:
"wewer
ejustl
eavi
ngMf
undi
si"
Het
ookmyhand.
Guy:"yesMyPast
or,
theywer
eanddi
srupt
edour
di
srupti
on.
Past
or:
"Not heydi
dn'
t.Theybr
oughti
nsomet
hing
new,Li
ndani"
Razorl
ookeddown.
Past
or:
"It
'sgoodt
oseeyou"
Razor:
"Yout
oo"
Thenthepast
orl
ookedatmeandIhel
dont
omy
food.
Past
or:
"Iam Past
orRhadebe"
Hel
etouthi
shandandIshooki
t.
Me:
"Unat
hiNgema"
Hesmi
led.
Pastor:
"Wel
cometoourchur
ch.Wi
llyoube
vi
sit
ingust
hisSunday?"
Il
ookedatRazor.
Razor:
"Idon'
tthi
nk.
..
."
Me:
"Iwi
llcomevi
sit"
Razorl
ookedatme.
Pastor:
"andyoutooLi
ndani.Youwereal
waysa
churchgoerwi
thyourmotherwhenyouwerest
il
l
young"
Hesi
ghed.
Razor
:"Iwi
llcome"
Past
or:
"that
'
swonder
ful"
Razor:
"butwehavet
ogonow"
Hegr
ipsmyhand.
Pastor:"sur
e.Youmaybedi smissed,i
twas
wonder f
ulseei
ngyoupar
ti
cipateinchurch
act
ivit
ies"
Razornoddedandwewal
kedout
.
Me:
"'
sowear
egoi
ngt
ochur
chonSunday?"
Razor:
"youagr
eed"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
twantt
odi
sappoi
ntt
heman"
Hechuckl
ed.
Me:
"thatwasf
un"
Razor:
"Iam gl
adyoul
ikedi
t"
Me:
"what
'supwi
thyouandt
hatguy?
"
Razor:"weusedt obefri
endswhenwewer
eyoung
andItookt heotherr
outeandher
emai
nedi
nhis
butwej ustgrewapart"
Me:
"letmeguess.Hi
smot
herhadani
nfl
uence"
Razor:
"yeah"
Me:
"youhaveyourcousi
n"
Hel
aughed.
Razor:
"Wai
twef
orgotabouthi
m"
Il
aughedaswer
anbackhome.
.
.
*
MAMTHOBENI*

MrNgemawalkedi
ntheki
tchenandIt
ookhi
s
di
shest
owash.
Smi
so:
"thankyouf
ort
hebr
eakf
astSi
we"
Me:
"youar
ewel
comesi
r.I
sUnat
hicomi
ngback?
"
MrNgema:
"Ihi
ghl
ydoubt"
Inodded.
MrNgema:
"ifyouneedmeyouwi
llf
indmei
nmy
st
udy"
Inoddedandhewal
kedof
f.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

wegothomelaughi
ngandNtambowasit
ti
ngina
boxwi
thanot
herladybyt
hehousewhoseemedto
bepl
ayi
nghardtoget.
Ntambo:"youseethem.Iwouldhavelobol
ayou
butnaweuyangibhampel
a(butyouaretryi
ngt
o
pl
ayhardtoget)"
Lady:
"Hai
boIam her
eandt
alki
ngt
oyounow"
Nt
ambo:
"Idon'
thavet
ime.Iam hungr
ybye"
Thel
adycl
ickedhert
ongueandwal
kedof
f.
Nt
ambo:
"eyinawe!
(Yout
oo)
"
Hegotof
ftheel
ect
ri
ctr
ansf
ormerboxandcame
t
owardsus.
Nt
ambo:
"It
hinkiam i
nneedofmyownspar
ekey"
Me:
"Sundaywear
egoi
ngt
ochur
ch"
Wegoti
nthegat
e.
Nt
ambi:
"razorwhyar
eyoudat
ingChur
chgoer
s?
Wear ef
orcednowBukaj
ustf
ort
hesaket
hatyou
getsome"
Razorpunchedhi
sshoul
der
.
Razor:
"theMr
shasspoken"
Iopenedt
hedoor
.
Me:
"thankyou"
Ntambo:"Ihaven'
tfor
givenyouf
orf
eedi
ngme
r
opesyesterday"
Me:
"takeachi
llpi
llandhaveaf
atkoek"
Hecl
ickedhi
stongue.
Me:
"Iwi
llt
rycookf
oryou.Justneedmyphone"
Heopenedmychi
ps.
Nt
ambo:"Qomanir
azorasi
namona(dat
erazorwe
ar
enotj
eal
ous)"
Razor:
"seemsl
ikei
t"
Me:
"babecanIhavemyphone?
"
Razor:
"Iwi
llgeti
t.
Me:
"thankyou"
Iper
kedhi
sli
psandhewentof
fNt
ambol
ookedat
me.
Me:
"what?"
Nt
ambo:
"Ubabawamiuyaj
olaenextdoor"
Het
ookmyf
ri
esandwal
kedof
f.
Me:
"myf
ood"
Ntambo: "t
hehandt
hatgi
vesi
sthathandt
hatwi
ll
beblessed"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkt
heysayt
hat"
Ihearhi
m swi
tchont
het
v"
Nt
ambo: "yourbl
essi
ngwi
llcomej
ustwai
t.Mi
naI
wi
lleat"
YhoMar
athi
sguyi
sabul
lypeopl
e.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
36] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t19

Nt
ambo:
"yourbr
eakf
astwasn'
tbad!"
Heshout edandIl ookedatRazorwhoshr uggedhi s
shoulder sasIl ookedathi smir
rorimage.If i
nished
upf i
xingmywat chandIl ookatmyselfthrought he
mirrorbef oreturningar oundandhegotof fthebed
andt ookhi scarkeysandphone.Wewer eall
dressedup, it
'sgoodt ooverpackbecauseIdi dn' t
event hinkIwoul dbegoi ngtoChur chduri
ngmy
vi
sit.Idoanddon' tmisshomeatt hesamet imebut
Idomi ssmymunchi esandi t'
snextweekendi s
whenIwi llseet hem togetherbeforeschoolopens.
Razor
:"Comel
et'
sgo"
Itookmybagandwewal
kedoutofhi
sbedr
oom
andint
othel
ounge.
Razor:
"Yesboi"
Ntambo:"youknowmeMudl
ikot
init
heeat
erof
cott
onthecott
onmast
er"
Me:"that
'st
oomuchf
orj
ustf
it
ti
ngi
nchi
nosanda
shi
rt"
Ntambo:
"af
terIj
ustcompl
iment
edyouonyour
f
ood"
Me:
",
youdi
dn'
tsayi
t'
sgood"
Nt
tambo:
"it
'snotbadei
ther"
Razor:
"wehavet
oleave."
Wewal kedoutofthehouseandl
ockedupbef or
e
gett
inginsi
dethecarandhestar
tedthecarand
droveoff.I
twasclosesothi
sisreal
lyawasteof
petrol
.
Me:
"youar
ewast
ingpet
rolyouknow"
Ntambo:"haveyouseent
hepresi
dententer
Parl
imentbaref
ootedwal
kingonconcr
ete?"
Me:
"Wear
egoi
ngt
oachur
cht
hat
'scl
oseby"
Razor:
"'
youwi
lll
ooset
rustmeNana"
Me:
"Iwi
llt
akemychances."
Nt
ambo:
"hai
bohei
swar
ning"
Ikeptquiet
.Wegott ochurchandwecoul dhear
themusic.HaveIeversetmyf ootinchurchbefor
e
onaSunday?MaybeIj ustdon'tr
emember .
Ntethel
elocamef r
om atradi
ti
onalbackgroundand
Razorcomef rom whatseemslikeaChristi
ani
ty
background.Idon'
tknowaboutNt ambobutyou
getwhatImean.
Nt
ambo:
"Let
'sgo"
Razornoddedandweal lgotoutofthecarandI
heldonmybagwhi l
ehet ookmyhand.Wewal ked
i
nsidet hechurchandanusherwasst andingbyt he
doorgivingusawar m wel come.Wewal kedi nside
andt hechoirwasonst agesi ngi
ng, j
ustlikehow
theywe' r
epracti
cingtheot herday.Wegott oour
seatsandIputmybagdownandwej ustst ood
therebrowsingaround
Ntambo:"youbroughtustochur
ch,
sosi
ngyour
hear
toutli
kethesegranni
es."
Me:
"Idon'
tevenknowt
hesong"
Nt
ambo:
"mxm "
Razor:
"Nt
ambol
eaveheral
one"
Herai
sedhi
shandsupandf
inal
lywecoul
dsi
t
down.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Ikeptonlooki
ngatthestove,yesmybodyi shere
butwhatmysi st
erpot
rayedformedi st
urbedme
alot
.ShouldItel
lUnathiorshouldIl
eteveryt
hing
takeit
'scour
se.Iam confusedandscaredaswel l
.
Me:
"Iwi
llj
ustl
eavei
tli
ket
hat"
It
hensnappedoutofmyt
hought
sandIcar
ri
edon
cl
eani
ng.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Past
or:
"Aswer
eadi
ntoRomans5:
13onceagai
n
bef
or ewegetint
oworshi
p.Ther ewassi
ninthe
worldbef
oretheLawwasgiven;butwher
etherei
s
nolaw,noaccounti
skeptofsi
ns."
Ntambo:"nakhokesebeqal
il
e(t
her
etheyhave
st
arted)
"
Razorhi
tshi
schest
.
Me:
"youshoul
dhavest
ayedhome"
Nt
ambo:
"It
houghtIneededdel
iver
ance"
Me:
"don'
tthi
nk.Youdo"
Thewomani
nfr
ontofust
urnedandl
ookedatus.
Nt
ambo:
"Canwehel
pyou?"
Shet
urnedbackt
othef
ront
.
Nt
ambo:
"mmh"
Il
ookedatRazor
Razor:
"don'
tinvol
vemei
nyoursquabbl
es"
Me:
"Ok"
Thent
hechoi
rst
oodupandt
heyst
art
edsi
ngi
ng.
Me:
"weshoul
dcomemor
eof
ten"
Razorl
ookedatme.
Nt
ambo:
"countmeout"
Me:
"hawu"
West oodupaswel
landjoi
nedi
n.Chur
chwasover
soonenoughandal
readyweweremaki
ngourway
out.
"Li
ndani!
"
Wet
urnedandi
t'
sthepast
or.
Ntambo:"f
ir
stdayandal
readyyouar
eappoi
nteda
j
nrpastor"
Me:
"don'
tyoukeepqui
et"
Hechuckl
ed.Thepast
orgott
ousandwepl
ast
ered
smi
led.
Past
or:"
,Iwassogl
adt
oseeyout
oday,
real
lyGod
bl
essedus"
Razor:
"Real
ly"
Past
or:
"Iam hoppi
ngwewi
llseemor
eofyou"
Nt
ambo:
"wehavebusyschedul
es"
Iki
ckedhi
m onhi
sshoe.
Me:
"wewi
llhavet
oputGodf
ir
st"
Pastor:"wel
lspokenmychild,hesaysinJob22:26
,Thenyouwi l
lal
wayst r
usti
nGodandf i
ndthathe
i
st hesourceofyourj
oy.Psalms62:8,Tr
ustinGod
atallt
imes,mypeople.Tel
lhim al
lyourt
roubl
es,
forheisourref
uge."
Nt
ambo:
"seku'
kni
ngimf
undi
si(t
hat
'sal
otpast
or)
"
Me:
"'
Amen,
prai
set
heLor
d"
Past
or:
"al
ltheti
me,Ihaveascr
iptur
ethatGod
showedmeaf ewdaysagoandIthoughtIshoul
d
shar
eitwi
thyou"
Heopenshi
sBi
ble.
Pastor:"ahyes, Exodus18:21itsaysButi n
addit
ion, youshoul
dchoosesomecapabl emenand
appointthem asleadersofthepeople:leader
sof
thousands, hundr
eds,fi
ft
ies,andtens.Theymust
beGod- feari
ngmenwhocanbet rustedandwho
cannotbebr i
bed.
"
Hecl
osedt
heBi
bleandl
ookedatRzor
.
Past
or:"Ihopeyouhear
dwhatt
hegoodLor
dhas
sai
dli
ndani"
Nt
ambo:
"yho"
Ipi
nchhi
m.
Razor:
"Idi
d"
Past
or:
"re-
readi
t,i
twasgoodseei
ngyou"
Het
akesoutapamphl
et.
Past
or:
"ouryout
hBibl
ecounci
l,i
twoul
dbe
wonder
fulf
oryoutoj
oin"
Me:
"wewi
llsl
eeponi
t"
It
ookt
hepamphl
et.
Me:
"thankyou"
Past
or:"maytheLor
dcoveryouwi
thhi
shand
whil
eyoutr
avelhome"
Me:
"yout
oo"
Hesmiledandwentt
oat
tendot
her
s.Nt
ambo
l
aughed.
Nt
ambo:
"Awuboniukut
hiuf
unaubeucol
lorboy
wakhe(don'
tyouseet
hathewant
syout
obehi
s
col
larboy)
"
Me:"Yazawucazishame(youar
enotf
unnyatal
l
)"
Razor:
"youandt
hepast
orar
ebestf
ri
endsnow"
Me:
"hawuIam t
ryi
ngsomet
hingnew"
Nt
ambo:
"youar
egoi
ngt
ofarsl
owdown"
Wegoti
nthecar
.
Me:
"Iam hungr
y"
Razor:
"don'
ttheshoeshur
tyou?"
Me:
"not
heydon'
t"
Ishookmyheadandhenodded.
Nt
ambo:
"I.
..
"
Me:
"shh"
Razorchuckl
edandnt
amboclickedhi
stongue,we
havehadenoughofhi
mtoday.Ican'
tanymore
shame.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
37] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t20

WewereattheChisanyamaandasal waysIam
enj
oyi
ngtheenvi
ronment .Ntambowent
somewheresoi
twasj ustthetwoofusaboutt
o
haveagoodeataftergoi
ngtochurch.
Me:
"Sohowdi
dyouf
indchur
ch?"
Razor
:"youact
ingl
i
kemom ,
your
emi
ndmeofher"
Me:
"doesshehaveanysi
bli
ngs?"
Razor:"yeahshehadsibl
ings,
asist
erbutshegot
marri
edanddi vor
ced.That'
sFezi
le'
smother"
Me:
"Fezi
le?"
Razor:
"Nt
ambo"
Me:
"ohIsee."
Henoddedandplayedwit
hmyhandsandourf
ood
cameandIthankedthewait
er.
Me:
"Ir
eal
lydon'
twantt
ogohomebutIhavet
o"
Razor:
"met
ooBabe"
It
ookabi
teoft
hemeatandhi
sphoner
ang.
Razor:
"canIt
aket
his?"
Hestoodupandwalkedof
f.Iwatchedhi
m,he
bet
ternotbeupt
oanycheati
ng.hecamebackaf
ter
sometimeandhesatdownagain.
Razor:
"Sor
ryaboutt
hat"
Me:
"Noi
t'
sfi
ne"
Wecarriedoneatingandchat
ti
ngandhi
sphone
rangoncemor eandhestoodupandwentt
o
answerit.Ichuckled.
Me:
"Unat
hidon'
tletyourt
hought
srunwi
ld."
Isel
ftal
kedmysel
fandcar
ri
edoneat
ing.Hecame
backandhesatdown.
Razor:
"it
'sabi
tbusy"
Me:
"ver
y"
Hel
ookedatmeandchuckl
e.
Razor:
"Youl
ookl
ikeyouar
eaboutt
omur
derme"
Me:
"youreyesar
edecei
vingbabe"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"ok."
Wecar
ri
edoneat
ing.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Il
ookatherbobbl
eherheadabitandeatthesame
ti
me.Idon'tknowwhatiti
sbutit
'sj
ustpull
ingme
al
ott
oher.Verymuchaswel l
.
Unat
hi:
"whenwegethomeweneedt
otal
k"
Me:
"aboutwhatnana?
"
Unat
hi:
"whenwegethome"
Me:
"home?"
Ir
aisedmybr
ow.
Unat
hi:
"(
giggl
ing)yeahhomer
azorhawu"
Me:
"Ihearyou"
Ismi
leandl
ookatherandshedoest
hesame.
Unat
hi:
"Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatme?"
Me:
"Ican'
tlookatyounow?"
Unat
hi:
",i
t'
scr
eepy"
Me:
"it
'snot"
Sheshakesherheadandf
ocusesonherf
oodonce
more.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Razor:
"Sowheni
syourbusi
nessgonnabeupand
runni
ng?"
Me:
"soon.Thatal
lIknow"
Razor:
"thatgoodt
oher"
Hi
seyesar
enowonhi
sphone.
Me:
"somet
hingi
mpor
tant?
"
Razor:
"huh?"
Helooksatme.Isnat
chhisphoneandhe
snt
achesitf
rom myhands.
Me:
"ar
eyouhi
dingsomet
hing?"
Razor:
"notatal
l"
Me:"t
henIcanhol
dyourphonef
ort
her
estoft
he
day"
Razor:
"Idi
dn'
taskf
oryour
s"
Me:
"Icangi
veyoumi
ne"
Hi
sphoner
ingsandIgi
vehi
m aver
yshar
pst
are.
Razor:
"Iam sor
ry"
Hest
andsupandgoest
oanswer
.
Me:
"mxm."
ItakemyphoneandbagandIst
andupandIstar
t
towalkawayfr
om t
hechi
sanyamaandIdon'
tsee
him.
Me:
"hey"
Ist
opsomel
ady.
Me:
"uhm haveyouseenRazor?"
Lady:
"Hewentt
osomecarwi
thal
adyi
nit
."
Me:
"thanks"
Il
ethergo.YhoIshouldjustgohome, soheis
backwi t
hWendy.Whoam Iki dding.?Ishoul
d
haveseent hatcomi
ng.Iwalkedoutofthe
chisanyamaandIgetonthestreetandtheseheel
s
arenowi rr
it
ati
ngme.
"Unat
hi"
Iseehi
m getoutoft
hatcar
.
Me:
"Pl
easeIj
ustwantt
ogohome."
Razor:
"Iwi
llt
akeyouhomebaby"
Me:
"myhome.Wher
ether
eismydadi
nit"
Razor:
"canwet
alkaboutt
hisandl
etmeexpl
ain?
"
Ishookmyheadandst
art
edwal
king,
hef
oll
owed.
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Me:"razorgoback.Iam notst
oppi
ngyouf
rom
si
tt
ingwithher"
Razor:
"ButIwassi
tt
ingwi
thyou"
Iwi
pedmytear
sandcar
ri
edonwal
kingandhehel
d
myupperar
m.
Razor:
"gi
vemeapl
atf
ormt
ospeak"
HestoodI nfrontofmeandwentononekneeand
myheartwasr acing.IwipedmytearsandIcould
hearwhistlesandpeoplecheeri
ng.Het ookouta
vel
vetboxandopenedi t.Myheartwasbeatingli
ke
adrum from angerIdon'tknowbutitwasthereand
mymout hwasdr yaswel l
.
Razor:"Iwasget t
ingthisforyou,
thecal
lsand
everyt
hing.Iam sorr
yf ormakingi
tseem l
ikeIwas
disr
especti
ngyouNana."
Il
ookedathi
m andsni
ff
ed.
Razor:
"canyouj
ustt
aket
hisr
ing?,
"
Me:
"anddowhatwi
thi
t"
Het
akesmyl
efthandandt
akesi
tout
.
Razor:
"andt
akei
tasmyaskf
oryout
omar
ryme"
Me:
"Iam angr
yatyou"
Hest
andsupandsl
i
psi
tinmyf
ingerandcl
oses
t
hebox.
Razor:"IknowandIknowi
t'
snotper
fectand
confusi
ngandall"
Heki
ssedmyl
ips.
Razor:
"butIl
oveyou"
Hehel
dmywai standkissedmylipsandret
urnedi
t
whi
lepeopl
echeered,Ibrokei
tandgiggl
ed.
Razor
:"Wi
llyoumar
ryme?"
Inoddedwhi l
egiggli
ngandhekissedmylipsand
mor echeerssurr
oundedthepl
aceandstreetas
well,hi
slipsint
ert
winingwi
thminefel
tsogoodand
Il
ovehi m sur
ely.
.
.
wel
lthenextdayIwenthome.Iwasexci
tedand
j
usthappyaboutever
ythi
ng.Iwast
alki
ngtoQamo
whi
leIam dri
vinghomeonmyphone.
Qamo:
"Yhot
hatwasr
eal
lyf
ast
.Ar
eyousur
e?"
Me:"QamoIam old, Iam 37yearol
dwomanwi t
h
t
woki dsfr
om di
ff
erentfat
her'
s,amentalcr
ackand
ajai
lbir
d.Whowi l
lwanttomar r
ythat?
"
Qamo:"hai
boyouar
emor
ethant
hat,
Iam j
ust
aski
ng"
Me:"Iam sure.Hecanhandl
emepr
ett
ywel
landI
havechanged."
Qamo:
"wel
lIam happyf
oryou,
Iam t
hemat
ron"
Me:
"mostdef
ini
tel
y.Tal
klat
erIam ent
eri
nghome"
Qamo:
"sur
e"
IhungupandIopenedt hegat
eanddrovei
nand
parkednextt
odad'scarandIt
ookoutmybagandI
mademywayi nsi
de.
Me:
"Iam backf
ami
ly!
"
Ifoundmaanddadkissi
ng, YhoIdidn'texpectt
hat
one.Irant
owar
dstheporchtryi
ngtor unawayf rom
whatIsawbutIhi
tthesl
idingdoorglassandIf ell
onmyback.Ihel
dmyf orehead.
Me:
"ohmyGod"
Dadcr
ouchedoverme.
Dad:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"ah!
"
Hesatmeupandmacamei nwi
thi
ceandwas
scar
edtoevenl
ookatme.
Me:
"Iam f
ine.Iam f
ine"
Dad:
"don'
teverdot
hatagai
n"
Me:
"ok"
Il
ookedathi
m andt
henma,
theawkwar
dness.
Me:
"It
hinkIneedpai
nki
ll
ers.
Ma:
"Iwi
llgett
hem "
Sher
ushedof
f.
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?"
Dad:
"whatyousawyoushoul
dn'
thaveseen"
Me:
"butIdi
d"
Dad:
"IknowyoulikeyourmotherbutIdon't
.Ili
ke
MaMthombeniandIam theonewhoi ni
ti
atedthe
ki
ss"
Me:
"butyouj
udgemyman"
Dad:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"Iam j
ustshocked"
Dad:
"Iam sor
rybaby"
Heki ssedmyf or
eheadandmacamebackwi t
h
painkill
ersandwater.Shewasshaki
ngaswell
.I
tookitandthankedherandthenIdr
ankbef
oredad
helpedmeupt omyroom.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
37] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t21

Iwokeupandmyheadwasabi tbet
ter
.Thosepil
ls
reall
ydruggedmegood.Igotoft hebedandImade
mywayt othebat
hroom andtookabathandwor e
pyjamasbef or
eIwalkeddownthestair
s.Ifound
dadwat chi
ngTVandMahaswel l
.Mmmht hisis
reall
ycosyIam notcomplai
ningthough.
Me:
"Whatar
ewewat
chi
ng?"
Theyt
urnedt
ome.
Me:
"nodon'
tst
oponmyaccount
"
Ismi
led.
Dad:
"how'
syourhead?"
Me:
"bet
ter"
Dad:
"good.Wehaveeat
en.Yourf
oodi
sint
heoven.
"
Me:
"thankyou.,
Weneedt
otal
k"
Henoddedandiwentt otheki tchent owarm my
foodint hemi crowaveandl ookedatmyr ef
lection
throughi tandtouchingmyf ace, i
tf el
tweir
dandI
sawmyr ing.Ismi l
e,aft
erever ythingwhowoul d
havet houghtsomeonewoul dlovemesobeaut ifull
y
asRazordoes.It akeoutmyf oodandIpourwat er
andmakemywayt otheloungear eaandIsi tont he
couchopposi t
et hei
rsideandst arteddevour i
ngmy
foodwhi lelookingatthem anddadbei ngsi
lly
charmi ngMa, mmmhIki ssNgomanenow.
Dad:
"youwant
edt
otal
ktous"
Me:
"ohyeah.
..
."
Dad:
"swal
low"
Idi
d.
Me:
"sor
ry.Uhm yeahIwant
edust
otal
k"
Dad:
"wel
l?"
Me:
"ok(si
gh)Ra.
..
.Li
ndani"
Dad:
"yourboyf
ri
end"
Me:
"yest
hat
,askedf
ormyhandi
nmar
ri
age"
Ma:
"wow"
Dad:
"isn'
tthi
sal
lrushed?Youdon'
tknowt
heguy"
Me:"dadl
if
eist
ooshor
tandunpr
edi
ctabl
eand
besi
desIl
ovehi
m"
Dad:
"Unat
hi.
..
."
Mahhel
dhi
shand.
Ma:"l
etherbe,
shei
sol
dtomakeherown
mi
stakes."
Me:
"Il
oveyoust
epmom "
Dad:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"sor
ry.Thecousi
nrubbedof
fhi
ssi
ll
ness"
Dad:"Iwi
llagr
eet
othi
sbecauseIwantt
oseeyou
happy"
Igetupf
rom t
hecouchandsi
tonhi
slap.
Dad:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"Thankyoudad"
Iki
ssedhi
scheek.
Me:
"ohsor
ry"
Igotof
fhi
m.
Dad:
"real
lyIam nothappybutwhoam It
ost
op
you"
Me:
"exact
ly"
Hegavemeast
are.
Me:
"uhm sor
ryl
etmel
eave"
IstoodupandIwentt
otheki
tchenandwashedmy
dishes.
.
.
Afewweekspassedandever yt
hingisgoingvery
wonder f
ullyandaccor di
ngl
y, Ifi
nall
ygottoopen
mysal onandIam happywi theverythi
ngaswel l.
Yesclientsweren'tthatmuchl i
nedupbutaf ter
cater
ingar ichhousewi f
eshei nvit
edherfri
ends
whoinvitedherf r
iendsandtheyst art
edcomi ng.I
haveamanagerwhohernamei sKhensani,sheis
wellaveryi nt
eresti
ngcharacterifImaysay.Iwas
i
nmyof fi
ceatt hebackcount i
ngonpr oductsthat
needt
obeboughtbecauset
heyar
erunni
ngout
.
Me: "okCondi
ti
oner
,ar
ti
fi
cialgelnai
ls.
..
..Damn
thesewivesar
egonnamakemer unoutofstockso
quickl
y."
Thedoprbust
sopen.
Me:
"Iam st
il
lbusyKhensani"
"Mommy!
"
Il
if
tmyheadupandt
heyrunt
owar
dsme.Ohmy
babi
es,
Itur
nmychai
randIcr
usht
hem i
nahug.
Let
ho:
"Hel
lomommy"
Me:
"mommymi
ssedyourcut
efaces"
Iki
ssedt
hem al
loverast
heygi
ggl
ed.
Me:
"whyi
syouruni
for
m whi
te?
"
I
t'
snavyt-
shi
rtandshort
swithahati
ncl
udedbut
t
heyarenotweari
ngthatatt
hemoment.
Anel
e:"Daddygotusi
cecr
eam "
Me:
"it
'saf
tert
wo,
wher
eishe?"
Let
ho:
"outwi
thuncl
e"
Me:
"ok.St
ayandpl
aywi
thmommi
esphone"
Theyjumponthelit
tl
ecouchwithmyphoneandI
walkoutsi
deandNtamboisstandi
ngbythecount
er
tal
kingwhil
eKhensanii
srol
li
nghereyesi
n
annoyance.
Ntambo:"Theycal
lmerope,Ihavebeensear
chi
ng
andIthi
nkIfoundmycatch"
Il
augh.
Khensani:
"pl
easeIam busy'
Rope'
"
Razort
urnst
omeandweshar
eahug.
Me:"t
hankyouforfet
chi
ngt hem.Itot
all
yforgot,
I
hopet
heydi
dn'tgi
veyoutroubleatschool"
Razor:
"notatal
l"
Nt
ambo:
"Khenst
handwaSam Iam t
ryi
ngt
oday"
Khensani:
"nothar
denough."
Shemovedf
rom t
hecounterandwel
ookedatt
hem
whil
eNt
amboheldherar
m.
Nt
ambo:
"Khensani(swal
low)"
Khensani:
"Youar
eawast
eofgoodl
ooks."
Shewalkedof
fandwelaughedandhel
ookedatus
andIst
oppedandhi
trazoronhi
schest
.
Me:
"babyno"
Razor
:"keepont
ryi
ng"
Meyouar
en'
tshowi
ngt
hatyouar
eser
ious"
Nt
ambo:
"mxm."
Me:
"sor
ry"
Nt
ambo:
"youwi
llf
indmeout
side"
Hewal
kedout
.
Khensani:
"weneedt
ogetgel
ssoon"
Me:
"sur
e"
Razor:
"wal
kmeout"
It
ookhi
shandandwewal
kedoutoft
hebui
ldi
ng.
Razor:
"Ihavesental
ett
er.Hopeyourf
ami
ly
accept
sit"
Me:
"dowear
ereal
lydoi
ngt
his?"
Ist
andI
nfr
ontofhi
m andhehol
dsmyhands.
Razor:
"Iam doi
ngt
his"
Heper
ksmyli
pswhi
cht
urnedt
oapassi
onat
eki
ss
andwebr
okei
t.
Razor:
"Il
oveyouNana"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Nt
ambo:
"let
'sgo!"
Heshout
sout
.
Me:
"impat
ientmuch."
Razor:
"Iwi
llseeyouandcal
lyou,
"
Me:"youbet
terandweneedt
odi
scussl
ivi
ng
ar
rangement
s"
Razor:
"wewi
llt
alkaboutt
hatl
ater"
Herper
ksmyl
ips.
Razor:
"bye"
Hewal
ksof
fandIwat
chhi
m wal
kof
f.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Meme:
"yout
urnedhi
m downt
hough"
Shewasf
oldi
ngt
het
owel
sandIwashel
pingher
.
Me:"i
fyouwantt
hisyouhavet
ocomewi
th
somet
hing"
Meme:"t
heywil
lsnatchhim andthatwasteoff
goodl
ooksandjokesfl
yingintheairwi
llbegone"
Me:
"ka'
nael
ehant
leba(mi
ghtaswel
lbe.
..
..
)"
Shei
nter
rupt
ed
Meme:"Ngumzul
uMi
na,
Mel
okuhl
e(Iam Zul
u,
Mel
okuhle)"
Il
aughed.
Me:'aski
esMngani,ngamaneangi
phut
heshame
(sor
ryfri
end,
hemi ghtaswel
lpassme)
Meme:
"canIt
akehi
m ?"
Me:
"unt
ilhecour
seyouno"
Shegiggledandit
ookt
het
owel
sandIwentt
oput
them away.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Nt
ambo:
"soyouar
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
edf
orr
eal?
"
Me:
"yeah"
Nt
ambo:
"Lovesi
cknessi
sreal"
Me:
"justl
ikekhensani"
Il
ookedathi
m ashesatup.
Ntambo: "wabonanj ayam ,Khensanii
ncwai
izabo
hardtogetyang'thol
aandileyontoengenza
ngigcwaleist
radingaye(youseemyman.
Khensaniisthosehar dt
ogetchicksyougetme?
Andt hat
'swhatmakesmel i
keher) "
Razor:
"car
ry-
ont
ryi
ng"
Nt
ambo:
"hayiIgi
veup.3weeksandnot
hing"
Ne:
"whatdoyouwant
?"
Ntambo:
"Iwantt
ohol
dher,pl
easeherandshow
andmakeherf
eelmyDumamshini(
machinegun)
"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"that
'si
nter
est
ing"
Nt
ambo:
"youdon'
tgetme"
Me:"Ido.AsUnathisai
d.Tr
ytobeseri
ousforni
ce.
ThoseDumamshinij
okeshavet
ogo, j
ustdon'
tpop
them t
oomuch"
Heroll
edthewi
ndowandt
urnedupt
hemusi
c.I
keptqui
etaswel
l.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
37] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t22
"
Mommymommyl
ook"
Il
iftmyheadup.Sheshowsmeacar
toonf
il
ter
fr
om snapchat
.
Me:
"yesbabyi
t'
spr
ett
y"
Igobacktowhat'
sinf
rontofmeandIhearthem
giggl
e.Ther
eisaknockont hedoorandKhensani
enter
sthedoor
.
Khensani:
"Sor
ryboss"
Me:
"it
'sok.Whatdoyouneed?
"
Khensani:
"it
'sknockof
fti
meal
ready"
Me: "ohmyGod.,
Todaymymi
ndhast
otal
ly
sl
ipped"
Khensani:"MrsMahlanguhasbookedthemakeup
andhairforherdi
nnerpart
yfort
omorrow"
Me:
"Ihopet
hesel
ect
edst
affi
sready"
Khensani:
"pr
eci
sel
y"
Me:
"Ki
dswher
ear
eyourbags"
Itakemyscarfr
om mychai
randcarkeyswhi
le
tr
yingtot
idyupandtakemybag.
Anel
e:"wi
thdaddy"
Me:
"ok"
Khensani:
"doyouneedanyhel
p?"
Me:
"canyoul
ockup?"
Khensani:
"ok"
Me:
"comel
et'
sgo"
Theygetofft
hecouchandtheywalkoutfi
rstwi
th
KhensaniandIf
oll
ow.Theplacei
scleanaswell
.
Me:
"byeKhensani"
Khensani:
"bye"
Wewal
koutandt
heki
dskeepgi
ggl
ingandpl
ayi
ng.
Me:
"Mommyshoul
dcookoror
der"
Let
ho:
"Mommyathomecooks,
somet
imes"
Me:
"cooki
ngi
tist
hen."
Iopenthecarandbackdoorandgetthem i
nsi
de
andthenbuckl
ethem upbefor
ecl
osingthedoor
andget
ti
ngi
nthef
rontandIdr
oveof
fheadi
ngt
o
themal
l.
.
.
*WENDY*

Itakeapuf
fandbl
owi
tof
fandl
ookar
oundt
he
envir
onment.
Axe:
"ourl
asthei
stwasgood"
Igi
vehert
heci
gar
ett
e.
Me:"wher
eisr
azor?Hewassupposedt
odoi
twi
th
us"
Axe:
"hedi
d.Hepl
annedt
hewhol
ethi
ng"
Igotofft
heopenbootoft
hecarandst
oodi
nfr
ont
ofher.
Me:"soheownsachisanyamaandwehave
not
hingandj
ustdoheist
s"
Axet
hrewhi
sst
udont
hef
loor
.
Axe:"youhavenothi
ng,Ist
art
edbui
ldi
ngma2
room f
lat
sbykodladl
en(byhome)"
Me:"wow"
Axe:
"udom wai
tsi?
(Youar
est
upi
dyouknow)
"
Me:
"Nx.Li
keyou"
It
ookt
hebeerandwal
kedof
f.
Axe:
"that
'swhyrazornevercaughtf
eel
ings.He
sawaheavyweightlongti
meago"
Idr
inkt
hebeerandi
gnor
eher.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Ihadjustfini
shedprepari
ngsupperandMrNgema
hadarri
vedj ustanhouragobutwasinhisstudy.I
real
lydon'tknowwhatt hi
sshoul
dbebutwear eol
d
andseekingwhatwear eseekingatourage?The
doorbellr
ingsandIgoandIopenandst oodthe
securi
tyguar dwit
hanenvelope.
Me:
"Hi"
Hehandsi
ttome.
Me:
"thankyou"
HenodsandIcl
osedt
hedoor.
"Whowasi
t?"
Ij
umpedoutoff
ri
ght.
Me:"oh,
itwast
hesecur
it
yman.Thi
sisf
oryouI
pr
esume"
Het
akesi
tandlooksati
tthenopensi
tandIst
and
t
her
eli
keafool
Smi
so:
"It
'sal
ett
er"
Me:
"for?
"
Smiso:"Unat
hi'
shandi
nmar
ri
age.Thi
sboyi
s
ser
ious."
Me:Iwi
sht
omeethi
m"
Smi
so:
"Tr
ustme,
youdon'
twantt
o"
Heshovedt
hel
ett
er.
Me:
"why?"
Smi
so:
"tr
oubl
emaker"
I
nodded.
Me:"st
orageheseesval
uei
nyourdaught
er"
Hesmi
ledandst
eppedcl
oser
.
Smi
so:
"doyouhaveki
ds?"
Me:
"ihaveasonbutIl
astsawhi
m year
sago"
Smi
so:
"Ohhemoved?
"
Me:"no,hewasarrest
ed,theenvironmentwel i
ved
i
nit'
seit
heryousonisacr iminalthatgoestojai
lor
doesn'
tajobbeat
inghim.Andyourdaught erbei
ng
ayounggirlwi
thnofutureandhasal otofbabiesor
shesel
lshersel
finthelavishli
festyl
e"
Smi
so:
",hect
ic"
Me:"i
t'
showi
tis.Youj
ustgott
olovet
hem i
nthe
end"
Heki
ssesmyf
orehead
Me:
"hai
bo"
Hespi
nsmear
oundandIchuckl
e.
Smi
so:
"Ar
en'
tyoushy?"
Me:
"Iam "
Hehol
dsmywaistandmovesmet
oanobest
r
hyt
hm andImovealong.
Smi
so:
"doyouknowt
hesongby.
..
..
"
Me:
"Yhodon'
tgof
ar,
Iknowweekendspeci
al"
Hechuckl
ed.
Smi
so:
"si
ngi
tforme"
Me:
"ican'
twi
thoutmusi
c"
Hechuckl
ed
Smi
so:
"wewi
llsoon"
Heper
ksmyl i
psandmakesmer
estmyheadon
hi
sshoul
deraswemove.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
"
(Si
ngi
ng)Eakysti
ckl
yli
ckyst
ickybubbl
egum
,
bubbl
egum ,bubbl
egum
Eakyst
ickyl
ickyst
ickybubblegum t
hat
'sst
uck
ontomyhair,canyoupulli
t?Canyoupulli
t?"
,
Me:
"Let
hokuhl
eyouar
emaki
ngnoi
se"
Shefrowns,Ipushthet
rol
lyal
ongt
hei
sleandmy
phoneringsi
nthei
rhands.
Anel
e:"whoi
sBabe?"
Me:
"br
ingmemyphone"
It
akei
tfr
om t
hei
rhands.
Let
ho:"mommyandbabesi t
ti
ngonat ree
,K.
I.
S.S.
I.
N.G, fi
rstcomesl
ove,thencomes
marri
age,thencomesababywi t
habigf athead"
Me:"Iwil
ltel
lyourf
atherthatyouaresingi
ngthi
s
ki
ssingr
ubbish,wheredidyoulearnitandyougot
abighead"
Shegasped.Ianswer
edandpushedt
het
rol
ley.
Razor:
"Nana"
Me:
"Iam dr
ained"
Razor:
"youknockedof
f?"
Me:
"yesandIam doi
ngabi
tofshoppi
ng"
,
Razor:"Iwil
lcal
lyoul
aterIhavesomet
hingt
o
at
tend.Iloveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
ooNgomane"
WehangupandLet
hoi
ssni
ff
ing.
Anel
e:"mommyLet
hoi
scr
ying"
Me:
"whyar
eyoucr
ying?"
Let
ho:
"yousai
dIhaveabi
ghead"
Shesul
ked.
Me:
"sor
ry.Mommywasj
oki
ngok?"
Shenodded.
Me:"
let'
sgogetsnacksandwi
neandt
henl
otsof
meatthenwepay"
Anel
e:"andI
cecr
eam ?"
Il
ookedatt
hem.
Me:
"justf
ort
hisonet
ime.I
cecr
eam "
Them :
"yay!"
Iwenttodot
her
estoft
heshoppi
ngbef
oreIwent
topay.
.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Iwal
kedinaf
tert
alki
ngt
oUnat
hiandt
heywer
eal
l
wai
ti
ngforme.
Kau:
"It
'sbeenl
ongsi
ncewemi
ssedyoursi
ll
iness"
Wendy:yetwedon'
tknowyou"
Nt
ambo:"t
hat
'sbecauseyouar
eanewwast e,
you
ar
eWhat?Therot
ti
ngmeatinthehotsun"
Axe:
"youar
eroast
inghernow"
Theyl
aughed.
Me:"eyibackt
obusi
ness.Howmuchwasbagged
att
helasthei
st?"
Kautookt
hebagandputi
tont
het
abl
eandi
openedi
t.
Me:
"mmmh"
Axe:
"5mi
ll
ion"
Me:
"soami
ll
ioneach"
Wendy:
"wewentont
hehei
stwegetbi
ggercut"
Me:
"west
rat
egi
zed"
Ntambo:"somet
hingyoudon'
tmaybeknowf rom
school
.Insi
mpleEngl
ishweplannedever
ythi
ng"
Wendy:
"Iknowwhatt
hatwor
dmeans"
Me:
"anyoneagr
eeswi
thWendy?"
Ther
ewassi
lence
Me:
"Iguessi
t'
sset
tl
ed.
Nt
ambo:"Iwil
ldeductR500thousandfr
om your
moneyj
ustbecauseofyoursouratt
it
ude"
Wendy:
"youwoul
dn'
t"
Nt
ambo:
"YeyiYeyi!"
Hemadeanecksl
itsi
gn.
Me:
"leaveher
."
Nt
ambo:
"Iam wat
chi
ngyou"
Shecl
ickedhert
ongue.
.
.
*UNATHI*

Igott ohishouseandIwal kedi nsi

de.Thekids
don'ttothel oungeandst ar t
edwat chingTVwhi leI
unpacked.Imadesnacksf orthem andmysel fwhile
Igoogl edagoodt r
aditionalr ecipeanddumpl ings
withLambst ewwasper fectlyfinewithme.I
start
edsl avingawayi nt heki tchenanddoingwhatI
don'tdomostbutagi rlhasgott opr
epareforthe
secondt ime.Af terever ythingwassetandi nt he
potsiwashedt hedishesIusedandcl eanedt he
ki
tchen.Ihear dthecarpul lupandsomeone
cursingout side.
"Shi
t!Theki
dsf
orgott
hei
rbags"
Theki
thendooropenedwhi
l
etheywal
kedi
nand
r
azordroppedhi
scallwhi
lecar
ryingt
hebags.
Ntambowentstr
aightf
orthepotsandchecked.
Nt
ambo:
"mmmhweshal
lsee"
Hewal
kedof
fandIper
kedRazor
'sl
ips.
Razor
:"t
hisi
sanicesur
pri
se.Iwasaboutt
osul
k
andbeababythewhol
eweekend"
Me:"wehavetogetusedt
othi
senvi
ronment
bef
orei
t'
spermanent"
Razor:
"mmmht
hatsoundsni
ce"
Me:
"itl
ooksevenBet
ter"
,
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ipandper
kedhi
m agai
nandwe
shar
edaki
ss.
Me:
"canyoubat
hAnel
eIwi
llt
akecar
eofLet
ho"
Razor:
"sur
e"
Hekissesmycheekbef
orewal
kingof
fandIcar
ry
oncooking.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
37] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t23

Thekidsareal
lbathedandreadyint
heirpyjamas
andthat'
sgood.FoodisreadyandIam dishingup
forever
yonewhil
et heyar
ewatchi
ngTVatt he
l
ounge.Igot otheloungeaft
erdi
shingupandI
standbythepassage.
Me:
"foodi
sready"
Ntambo:"youhavet
ogetusedt
oat
rayandknee
onthef
loor"
Me:
"Yoh.Hecti
cIt
ellyou,
weneedadi
ningr
oom
t
abl
ethatcoul
dwor
k"
Ntambo:"Letmegoandseei
fyoucookedi
t
perf
ect
ly"
Me:
"it
'sgood"
Theywal kedi
nt hekit
chenandeveryonetookt
heir
food.ItookforthekidsandthenIfol
lowedoutto
theloungeandwesatdownandt heystoodInf
ront
ofmewhi l
eIfeedthem.
Let
ho:
"Gogoal
wayscookst
hisf
orus"
Me:
"whatbaby?"
Shepoi
ntsatt
hedumpl
ing"
Me:
"that
'swonder
ful
."
If
eedhert
henIf
eedAnel
e.
Ntambo:
"Ayiyour
eget
ti
ngver
yther
ewi
thyour
cooki
ng"
Me:
"thankyou"
Nt
ambo:
"Hol
dhermananddon'
tletgo"
Razor:
"Idon'
tint
endt
o"
Let
ho:
"Daddyaf
tert
hisar
eweget
ti
ngi
cecr
eam ?
"
Me:
"it
'sl
ate"
Razor:
"Mommyhast
alkedpr
incess"
Shesul
ked
Me:
"youar
esuchadi
va"
Razor:
"ki
ndal
ikeyoubackt
hen"
Me:
"Yho"
Theyl
aughed.
Me:
"Iam notadi
va"
Let
ho:
"youar
eadi
va"
Shegi
ggl
ed.
Me:
"openyourmout
h"
ShedidandIfedherandAnel et
il
ltheyweref
ull
andthenIatemyself.RazorandNtambosaidthey
wil
lwashdishesandt heki
dswatchedabitoft
v
bef
oretheystart
edgetti
ngdrowsy.Itookt
hem t
o
bedandwentt ojoi
ntheboys.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam goi
ngout
."
Me:
"it
'sl
ate"
Nt
ambo:
"Iknow.Iwi
llbebacki
nthemor
ning"
Razor:
"Xap(shar
p)"
Theyf
istbumpedandhewal
kedoutandIl
ookedat
r
azor
.
Razor:
"mi
dni
ghtwal
k"
Me:
"Iam wor
ri
ed."
Razor:
"don'
tbe,
now"
Hel
ockedt
hedoorandpi
cksmeup.
Razor
:"canIhavemydeser
t?"
Igi
ggl
edandhel
dhi
sshoul
der
s.
Me:
"whatt
ypeofser
ving?"
Hewalksi
nthebedr
oom andpl
acesmeont
hebed
andki
ssesmyli
ps.
Razor:
"thi
scr
eamyki
ndofser
ving."
Me:
"mi
xedwi
thyou?"
Razor:
"mi
xedwi
thal
otofme"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"Mmmhsoundsdel
ici
ous"
Razor:
"letmet
akecar
eoft
hedoor"
Hewentt
othedoorandcl
osedi
tlocki
ngi
tbef
ore
comi
ngt
ome.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Hewal kedinasthedoorbustedopenandIsatup
fr
om thebedandhel ooksatmeandIst andupas
welli
nal lwhi
let
yingmygown.Mykneesand
handswer eshaki
ngoutoffear.Thateye,If
orsee
badthingsthatwil
lhappenfr
om it
.
Me:
"Uhm .
..you'
reback,
Icooked"
Helooksathisri
ghtandhiseyeslandont
hetwo
pl
atestoveontopofthecount
erinthi
soneroom.
Hi
m:"Ihearyouar
ewor
king"
Hedropshi
slunchbagandfearcr
eepsi
n,hest
eps
cl
oserandImovebackabit
.
Hi
m:"kei
tseKhensani
?(whatdi
dIsayKhensani?
)"
Hi
sbi
ghandi
snowopenwavi
ngi
ntheai
rwhi
lehe
i
stalkingandhei snotpl
eased.
ihol
dontomygown
asi
fi twillpr
otectme.Howdi dhef
indout?Those
nei
ghbor s.
Me:
"uit
seumonna'meutlaufa.
(yousai
dyouar
e
t
hemanandyouwi
llpr
ovi
de)"
Hi
m: "hobanengkesahl
omphuoe?(sowhyam I
di
srespect
ed?)"
HeslappedmeandIcr i
edwhilefal
li
ngonthebed.I
bi
tmysel ffr
om insi
decausi
ngmet obl
eed.Heis
ontopofmehi tt
ingmelikeneverbefor
e.Iam
cryi
ngtryingtoprot
ectmyfaceintheprocess.
Hi
m:"uf
eli
leul
eli
tši
la!
(youar
eful
lofr
ubbi
sh!)
"
Me:
"Kekopat
s'oar
elo!
(Iam sor
ry!
)"
Ikeeponshouti
ngthatjustforhi
mt ostop.I
shouldn'
thaver
anhome, I
twasbetterbeing
star
vedbymyf ami
lythanbei nghi
tbyast ranger
.
Me:
"Bakangpl
ease!"
Bakang:
"youneedt
obeputi
nli
ne."
Ikeptoncr
yingf
eel
ingever
ysl
apandpunchaswel
l
.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Me:
"MmmhNana"
ShekissesmychestandIwantt ohol
dherbutshe
hasmest uckonthebedandIcan'tmovemyhands
j
usttoholdher.Shesmi l
eslooki
ngatmeandt hi
s
womanhasat r
ickonhersl
eeve.
Unat
hi:
"Iam i
nchar
get
oday"
Me:"Icanseebutyouar
etor
tur
ingme,
Iwantt
o
t
ouchyou"
Unat
hi:
"Nobaby"
Sheki
ssesmeeverywhereandIfeelt
inglesand
shethencomestomyl i
psandperksthem befor
e
sheki
ssesmeandIdot hesame.Shebr eaksi
t
andshesmil
esandshet akesmydickint
oherhand
andsheposi
ti
onshersel
fandrubsthetiponher.
Me:
"Babe"
Unat
hi:
"mmmh"
Shelooksatmebefor
eshef
inal
lysl
ipsi
nandt
he
warmthnessIf
elt
.
Me:
"kepuŝobonas(t
hatpussyi
sgood)
"
Unat
hi:
"Babyar
eyouspeaki
ngi
ntongues?"
Me:
"yougotmespeaki
ngt
ongues"
Shel
aughs.
Unat
hi:
"let
'seatyouMr"
Sheplacesheronehandonmychestandshethen
bouncesonmeandswi r
vingherwai
sti
nthe
process.FuckIam i
tchi
ngtoholdher
Me:
"Shi
t!NanaIwantt
ohol
dyou"
Sheshakesherheadwhi
lei
trol
lsback.
Unat
hi:
"Ah"
Shebi
tesherbot
tom l
ipandi
t'
sdr
ivi
ngmecr
azy.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
Iwokeupi nthemorning.Iwon'tbegoi ngtowork
today,Khensaniwil
lbethough,Itouchedmysi de
andrazorwasn'tt
here.Igotoffthebedandwor e
j
ustt-shi
rtandmygownandImademywayout
andthekidsareupeatingporr
idgewat chingTV.
Me:
"mor
ningmunchi
es."
Them :
"mor
ningMommy"
Me:
"wher
eisdaddy?"
Anel
e:"ki
tchen"
Iwentt
otheki
tchenandhei
smovi
ngawayi
nther
e.
Me:
"youar
eanat
ural"
Het
urnsandki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Razor:
"youshowedmef
lamesyest
erday,
Iwi
ll
puni
shyouforthat
"
Me:
"Iwasgi
vingyouat
ast
eofsomet
hingnew"
Razor:
"def
ini
tel
y.Comeeatt
henwewi l
lbatht
he
ki
dsandyouandwewi l
lgotothepar
k.(Yawn)"
It
urnedt
ohi
m.
Me:"t
hatwouldbewonder
ful
.Youl
ookl
ikeyou
di
dn'
tgetsl
eep"
Razor:
"noIam f
ine."
Me:
"ok."
Hewal
ksof
f.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Hehasal r
eadyl eftforhi
susualr outineofgoi ngto
dohi s"Jobs".Mybodywasi npainbutIwas
determinedt hatIwillgotowor k.Itwi l
lpaymewel l
andIt hankGodf ormywi llt
odoabusi nesscour se
becauseIwoul dn'thavethisgoodj obevent houghI
want edtodosomet hingelsebutIam gr atef
ul.7
yearssincewecameher e, Iwasat eenagerback
then.Stupidandnaï ve,
drunkinloveaswel l
but
whenmywi shesseemedt obef adingIhadt ostand
upf ormysel f.Iwentandappl iedtodoacour se
andIgotbeat i
ngsof fmylif
etost opgoingbutI
didn'
tIpushed.Iwal koutofthisoner oom shack
andgocat chataxitoworkandgott here.Thesalon
opensat9am andIar ri
vedjustinti
me.Iopened
andwepr epar
edf orwhenourclientswillcomeand
someoft hestaffmember swentt oMr sMahl angu'
s
houseasshebookedt hewhol eday.Thispl ace
reall
yjustmakesmoney.
Me:
"Ineedt
hebat
hroom.Iwi
llbeback"
Iwentt othebathroom andst oodi nfr
ontofthe
mi r
rorandl i
ftedmyt -shir
tupandt earsdropandI
wipet hem.Ipul litdownandt ouchmyever ywhere
andi t'
ssti
llpainf
ulbutGr andpawi llhadtofi
xt hat
.
Iwal kedoutandwecar r
iedonwi thourdail
yr outi
ne
ti
lllunchti
mewhenNt amboakaRopeaswel lcame
i
nt othestore.Theguyi sfunnyyenaIwon' tlie.
Todayhel ooksar oundandgr eetsmebef ore
passi ngandInodandhegoesandsi t
sdownand
asksourBar bertocuthishair.Iwat chthem ,
Memecomest ome.
Meme:
"canICour
thi
m ?"
Ishruggedandcar
ri
edonwit
hworksoonhewas
doneandhecomesandpaysbythecount
erwher
eI
am standi
ngwit
hmycoll
eagueaswel
l.
Ntambo:"namanj
eawungi
boni(evennowyoust
il
l
don'
tseeme) "
Ikeptqui
et.Hechuckl
es.
Nt
ambo:
"Canyouwal
kmeout?"
Hel
ooksatt
hel
adynextt
omeandshest
andsup.
Me:
"si
tdownt
her
eiswor
ktodo"
Ntambo:
"comekebecauseyoudon'
twanthert
o
walkmeout"
Il
ookedathi
m andmyf eetar
etaki
ngmet
ohi
s
si
deandwalki
nghim out.
Me:
"ther
eyougo"
Nt
ambo:
"come"
Isi
gh,
Idon'
thaveener
gyf
orhi
mtoday.
Nt
ambo:
"Whatam Idoi
ngwr
ong?"
Il
ookathi
mthenaway.
Me:
"not
hing"
Nt
ambo:
"youknowmonamour,
.
.."
Ii
nter
rupt
edhi
m.
Me;
"whatdoest
hatmean?"
Nt
ambo:
"it
'sf
renchf
ormyl
ove"
Ibl
ushedandhechuckl
ed.
Nt
ambo:
"at
leastshebl
ushedt
oday"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
t"
Hehel
dmywai
standIf
li
nched.
Nt
ambo:
"lookatme"
Hel
if
tedmyheadupt
ohi
slevel
ofeyes.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
ikeyou,
Ireal
lyl
ikeyou,
I..
..
"
Me:
"Ican'
tbewi
thanyman,
eveni
fIwantt
o"
Ntambo:
"Iwon'
tbr
eakyourhear
t,Iwi
llt
reatyou
r
ight"
Me:
"menar
egoodatsel
li
ngdr
eams"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam notKhen"
Heki ssesmylipsandf
ool
ishmer
espondsandhe
heldmef rom t
hebackpul
li
ngmeandIfl
inched
breakingit
.
Me:
"Ihavet
ogo"
Itur
nedbuthehel
dmyarm andbr
oughtmebackto
hi
m andtouchedmywai
stt
omyr i
bsandIfl
inched
andmoanedinpain.
Nt
ambo:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Me:
"not
hingIhavet
ogo"
Heholdsmeti
ght
lysothatIwouldn'
tescapeand
pul
ledmytopupsl
owlyandIlookeddown.
Nt
ambo:
"soyouwer
egonnahi
det
hisf
rom me?"
Me:
"letmego!Youdon'
tknowme"
Ntambo:"eyikeepqui
etaboutyoudon'
tknowme
nonsenseKhensaniwhodidthi
stoyou?"
Me:
"leavei
tandl
eaveme"
Ntambo:
"Iswearyoudon'
twantt
oseemybadsi
de
i
fyoudon'
ttal
kri
ghtnow!"
Me:
"cal
m down"
Nt
ambo:
"tal
k"
Me:
"myboyf
ri
end"
Hel
etgoofmeandwal
kedof
f.
Me:
"Fezi
le!"
Hegotinhi
scarAndIt
urnedandwal
kedbackt
o
t
hesaloncr
ying.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Wewer edoneeati
ngandcl eani
ngandbathi
ngas
well,evengett
ingdressed.Nowwear eonourway
outtogobuyf oodbecausewehavesnacksand
thenheadt ot
hepar ktoenjoysomefamil
yti
me.I
tookmybagandr azoropenedthedoorwhil
ethe
kidsrushedtothecar.
Me:
"letmeopenf
oryou"
Iopenedt
hecarandtheygoti
nsi
de.Acarpul
led
upbythegat
eandntambogotout.
Me:
"wow"
Hewalkedst
rai
ghtupt
ousl
ooki
ngnothi
susual
sel
f.
Nt
ambo:"Idon'
tknowi
fIshoul
dcr
yorbeangr
yor
what?"
Razor:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Hesatdownont
hef
loorandj
ustsni
ff
ed.
Nt
ambo:
"it
'skhen"
Me:
"ar
eyoucr
ying?"
Ntambo:"herboyf
ri
endi
shitt
ingher
.Justt
he
t
houghtofhercryi
ngandbegginghi
mtostop."
Razor:
"iam sor
ryman"
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
llsl
aught
erhi
sbal
ls"
Me:
"thi
sishect
ic.I
ssheok?"
Ntambo:
"Il
eftheratwor
k.Icoul
dn'
tcr
yinf
rontof
her"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tknowyouar
ethi
ssweet"
Nt
ambo:
"Ial
waysam ,
whoar
eyout
aki
ngmef
or?
"
Me:
"ok"
Ntambo:
"Iam goi
ngbackl
aterandIwi
llf
etchher
.
"
Me:
"andt
akeherwher
e?"
Ntambo:"Ij
ustneedtosear
chf
orapl
aceIwi
ll
keepher
.Can'tl
etanot
hermant
ouchmywoman
andgetawaywithit
."
Me:
"Iam scar
ednow"
Razor:
"Don'
tbe"
Let
ho:
"ar
ewegoi
ng?"
Razor:
"wear
ecomi
ng"
Nt
ambo:
"gowi
thyoul
it
tl
edest
royer
s."
Me:
"don'
tcal
lourki
dst
hat"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"youhavegott
his"
Ntambonodded.Wegoti
nthecarandhwent
i
nsidet
hehouse.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
38] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t24

Me:
"iam abi
twor
ri
edaboutNt
ambo.
"
Razor:
"don'
tbe."
Heheldmyhand.Ikeptqui
etashedrove,
we
r
eachedthepar
kandthenweallgotout
.
Let
ho:
"Mommy,
youwi
llpl
aywi
thme?"
Me:
"sur
e"
Shesqueel
edandRazort
ookAneleonhis
shoul
dersandwet
ookeveryt
hingweneededout
andwenttofi
ndasi
tti
ngspotonabenchandtabl
e.
Me:
"ohIf
orgotmyphone"
Razor:
"usemi
ne"
Me:
"ar
en'
tyouscar
edIwi
llseesomet
hing?"
Razor:
"idon'
thaveanyt
hingt
ohi
de"
Het
akesi
tout
.
Let
ho:
"youar
egonnat
akeaphot
oofus?"
Me:
"yesbaby"
Razor:
"comepr
incess"
Ismileashet ri
estogetherononeshoulderand
Aneleont heother.Theygiggl
eandismiled
l
ookingatt hem ,
IlovehowLethoandRazorare
gett
ingalongsover ywell
.Itmakesmehappy.I
tookapictureofthem andmoreaswell
.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Iwasputt
ingawayt
henewhai
ror
dersthatwehave
j
ustgot
tenandMemeGotint
hestor
eroom asI
wasunpacki
ng.
Meme:
"IseeyouandMrt
her
e..
.youl
ikehi
m now
?"
Me:
"memeIam noti
nthemoodf
ort
alkst
oday"
Meme:
"fi
rstdayandal
readyhemadeyouangr
y"
Me:"goafterhi
m, Idon'
tcar
ereal
ly.Iam nother
e
f
orhim buttowork"
Meme:
"sur
ethenIwi
llshootmyshot"
ShewalkedoutandIstoppedwhatIwasdoi ngand
si
ghed.Itouchedmyr i
bareaandi t
'sabitpai
nful
butthepai
nisbearabl
esinceIdrankpainreli
ef.
I
fi
nishupandmyphoner ingsandItakeitoutofmy
pantsandit
'sBakang.MyheartbeatsfastandI
answershaking.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Bakang:
"whyar
eyounothome?"
Me:
"I.
..
"
Bakang:"don'
teventhi
nkofl
yingbecauseIam
here.Iam comingtofet
chyouandyouwi l
lbe
ki
cki
ngandscr
eami
ngyourl
ungout"
Hecli
ckedhi
stongueandhungup.Ilookedatmy
phoneandbi
tmybottom l
ip.Iam r
eal
lyscar
ed,.
"Khensaniweneedyou,
areyouok?"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
.
Me:
"yeahIam l
et'
sgo"
Shelookedatmeandwewal kedout.Iam scar
ed.
Hereall
ywil
ldothat
,Bakangisnotscar
edof
anyt
hing.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Unat
hi:
"WoahbabyIam j
ustsi
tt
ingdontpushme.
"
Me:
"justabi
tnana"
Unat
hi:
"no,
nono!"
Let
ho:
"yesdaddypushmommy"
Theywaymyhear tj
ustwar
mswhenhear i
ngt
hat.
Especi
all
yfrom heri
tssopri
cel
ess.IpushUnat
hi
andthekidskeepswingi
ngthemsel
vesonthe
swing.
Unat
hi:"IswearwhenIgetdownIwi
llki
llyou
Li
ndaniNgomane"
Me:
"t
henwhowi
llgi
vei
ttoyoul
ikeIdoi
fIam dead
"
Thekidsl
augh,
dot
heyknowwhatIam t
alki
ng
about?
Unat
hi:
"pl
ease"
Ipushherandl
etgoandshei
scl
osi
nghereyed
andscreami
ng.
Me:
"dr
ama!
"
Theki
dsl
augh"
Unat
hi:
"Iwantt
ogetdown"
Ihel
dherswingwheni
twascomingmywayand
sl
oweditdownandshegotof
fandcamet
omeand
Imovedback.
Me:
"Iam sor
rynana"
Shehi
tmyshoul
derandIchuckledandhel
dher
wai
standshecl
ickedhert
ongue.Iki
ssedherneck.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Unat
hi:
"Idon'
tfor
giveyou"
Anel
e:"pushmemommy"
Me:
"Iwi
llpushyou"
Unat
hi:
"haiyouwi
llsendoursoni
ntheai
r"
Ichuckledandshewentt
opusht
hem.Il ookedat
them andIsawafigur
eofmymtheri
nfr
ontof
Anele'
sswing.
Anel
e:"Higogo"
Woah.
Me:
"woahyou.
..
yousawt
hat?"
Unat
hi:
"sawwhat?"
Anel
ekeptonpushinghimselfaf
terunat
higave
hi
m aboost.ShewavedatAnelewhowavedback
smil
ingandIwasstunned.Shelooksmydirect
ion
andsheholdsherhandst
oget
herbef
oreshe
di
sappear
s.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Wellt
odaywemadever ygoodmoney, Unathiwi
ll
beveryimpressed.Iwastel
li
ngLifathatIwil
lcl
ose
thebl
indsshecangoandshewal kedoutand
Bakangcamei nclappi
nghishands.
Bakang:"thisi
swhereyoushowhow
unappr
eciatedyouar
e?"
Me:
"Bakang"
Bakang:
"shutup!"
Hest eppedcloserandimovedbackwardsandhe
keptoncomi ngtil
lIreachedt
hewallandhe
slappedmeandicr i
edandhepull
edmebymyhai r
draggingmel i
kehesai d.
Me:
"Bakang!"
Bakang:
"ShutupKhensani"
Hestoppedt
oki
ckmeandIcoughedbef
orehe
pul
ledmeonceagai
n.
"Voetseknj
angowabaniumf
azi
(Voet
sekdog,
wit
h
who'swife?)"
Bakang:
"moveoutofmywayorIwi
llhi
tyou"
Ntambochuckl
edandhepoundedonbakangwho
i
mmediatel
ylef
tmyhair
.
Me:
"Fezi
le!"
Ntambo:
"youneedsomeonewhoi
sol
dert
hanyou
"
Bakang:
"ist
hiswhatyoudo?Af
terever
ythi
ng"
HepouncesatNt
amboandt
heyf
ight
.
Me:
"guysst
op!"
Ihel
dmychest,t
heywerebothequal
lyst
rong.
Ntambot
ookoutaknif
e, TwostabsandBakang
wasonhi
skneesandoneonhi sneck..Icover
ed
mymouthinshock.
Me:
"ohmyGod"
Nt
ambo:
"youshi
t!"
Me:
"Ohmygod"
Istoodupf
rom t
hefloorandImovedback.He
tur
nedtomeandlookedathishand.
Nt
ambo:
"Khensani"
Me:
"St
ay.
..
stayt
her
e"
Iwasshaki
ng.
Nt
ambo:
"Iwon'
thur
tyou"
Me:
"youki
ll
edhi
m"
Nt
ambo:
"IknowbutIwon'
thur
tyou"
Icr
ied.
Nt
ambo:
"Iwon'
thur
tyou"
Hegott
omeandhuggedme.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Iam scar
ed"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sor
ry"
Isni
ff
ed.
Nt
ambo:
"weneedt
ogethi
mtot
hecar
."
Inodded.
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
llbeback."
Hewashedhishandsbefor
ewalki
ngoutandI
l
ookedatBakanglayi
ngt
here.Hecamebackand
hecrouchednextt
ohim.
Nt
ambo:
"let
'scar
ryhi
m"
Webot hassi
stedeachot her,
mypai nwastheleast
ofmypr obl
emsatt hemoment .Thecarwasvery
closeandthebootwasopen.Wet hrewhiminand
wentbackinsideandcleanedupthewhol epl
ace
tenntambotookcar eoft
hesecurityfoot
agebefor
e
wewal kedoutlocki
ngandgoti nt
hecar .
.
.

*
UNATHI*

Me:
"thankyouf
ort
hesuggest
iont
ocomeher
e"
Razor:
"mypl
easur
e"
Me:"
areyouok?Youhaven'
tbeenoksi
ncet
he
swi
nginci
dent"
Razor:
"Iam.Iam mor
ethanok"
Me:
"ifyousayso"
Razor:
"wear
edone?"
Me:
"yepl
et'
sgohome"
Let
ho:
"Mommy"
Me:
"noLet
hokuhl
eKhumal
olet
'sgo"
Shesul
ked.Thi
sdi
vaMar
a.Wepackedup.
.
.
*
KHENSANI
*

wearrivedatanaboundedpl ace.Moreli
keabush
typeofplaceandIam wear i
ngNt ambo'shoodi
e
becauseofthecoldbreeze.Weboughtashoveon
ourwayher eandheisdiggingahol e.Heget
sdone
andt
henhedr
agsBakangi
nitandIl
ookaway"
.
Me:
"tel
lmewhenyouar
edone"
IkeeponthelookoutandthenIhearhi
m cur
sing
beforehebur
riedhi
m wit
hthesoilandget
sdoneas
well.
Nt
ambo:
"youar
esaf
e"
Inodded.
Me:
"Ihopewewon'
tbecaught
."
Nt
ambo:
"wear
eint
hist
oget
hernow"
Me:
"yeah"
Inoddedandheper
kedmyf
orehead.
Nt
ambo:"comewewi l
lgot
oaBNBandl
ookf
ora
pl
acet
omorrowok.?
"
Me:
"ok"
Am ir
eal
lyt
rust
inganot
hermanher
e?Wewal ked
backt
othecarandgoti
nandIwaslosti
nthought
s.
Nt
ambo:
"Iwon'
thur
tever"
Inodded.Godt
hisi
samess.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
38] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t25

WegothomeandRazorwascar ryi
ngthekids
i
nside.Theyweresoundasl
eepinhisarmsandI
wenttothekit
chen.Thelef
toverfoodIpackedi
t
awayandt hr
ewawaywhatneededt obethrown
away.Hegotinthekit
chenandassist
edmeandwe
weredone.
Me:
"thankyouf
ort
oday"
Razor:
"it
'st
imeIst
art
edact
ingl
ikeaf
ami
lyman"
Me:
"Il
ovebot
hsi
des"
Heper
ksmyl
ips.
Me:
"shoul
dIcook?"
Razor:
"ifwegethungr
ywewi
llj
ustor
der"
,
Me:
"ok,
Ineedt
obat
h"
Razor:
"canIwashyourbody?
",
Me:
"youandmei
nabat
htubnaked?Yho"
Hepi
ckedmeup.
Razor:
"itwi
llbef
un"
Me:
"real
ly?"
Razor:
"Iwi
llt
eachyou"
Me:
"Iwoul
dli
ket
oseet
hat"
Razor:
"bepr
epar
ed"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
psandwewentt
othebat
hroom and
goti
n.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*
Iwassitti
nginthecarwhi l
eHewentoutt osortt
he
accommodat ionissuefortheni ght.Iam scared,I
am fr
ightenedandpr ayi
ngt hatIam r eal
lysafe,I
don'
ttrustmyselfaswel lt
hatIt rustNtambot hat
easi
ly,Iam scaredthepolicewi llcatchusthatwe
ki
ll
edBakang.Whatahect icSat urday.Iseehim
comingtot hecarandhegoti nside.
Nt
ambo:
"wear
esor
ted"
Inoddedandsi
ghed.
Nt
ambo:
"don'
twor
ry.Igotever
ythi
ng"
Me:
"Iknow"
WhatdoyouknowKhensani?
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyouwor
kingt
omor
row?
"
Me:
"no"
Nt
ambo:
"that
'sgood."
Hedroveinsidet
hepl
aceandwegotoutandmade
ourwayinside.Ther
oom wasneatandt
idyaswel
l
.
Ntambo:
"Iwi
llsl
eepont
hecouchandyout
aket
he
bed"
Ibr
eat
hedout
.
Nt
ambo:
"letmeseet
hebr
uises"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"ifyoudon'
twantt
oit
'sf
ine"
Itookoffhi
shoodieandmyt opandIwasl ef
twi
th
myboobs.Theyar esmallsotheydon'
tneedabr
a
andtheyareupri
ght.Hegoesar oundmeand
touchesthear
ea'
st hathur
t.
Me:
"mmh"
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
llt
akeyout
otheDr"
Me:
"noi
tfi
ne.Youhavedoneenough"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam st
ubbor
nsol
etmebe"
Inodded.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyouhungr
y?"
Me:
"yes"
Hewal
kedoutAndisatont
hebed.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*

Me:
"Iam neverdoi
ngt
hatagai
n"
Razor:
"wear
eexpl
ores"
Me:
"youexpl
oret
oomuch"
Il
ookathi
m andhechuckl
es.
Razor:
"comet
obedal
ready"
Me:
"wai
t"
Igotdr
essedandIgotont
hebedandsatbet
ween
hi
m.
Razor:
"thi
shai
rsui
tsyou"
Me:
"it
'saweavebabe"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"ar
en'
tyout
aki
ngi
tof
f"
Me:
"hai
boNgomane"
Razor:
"Iam aski
ng"
Me:
"it
'sgl
ued"
Razor:
"ohIsee"
Hepl
ayswi
thmyf
inger
s.
Razor:
"Youar
echangi
ngal
otoft
hings"
Me:
"li
ke?"
Razor:
"Ican'
twai
ttoseeyouwalkdowntheal
ter
andsayIdo,somethi
ngIneveri
magined"
Me:
"thankyouf
orgi
vingmeasecondchance"
Heki
ssedmuchcheek.
Razor:
"youdeser
vei
t"
Il
aidonhi
schest
.
Razor:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyoumor
e"
Hewr appedhisarmsar oundme.Ilookedatmy
ri
ngandsmi led,Iam goingtot
rymybesttobe
bett
erthi
stimear ound.Waybett
er.
.
.
*
KHENSANI
*
Igott
imetobathandwhenhecamebackIwas
doneanddressed.Hepl
acedt
hef
oodonthebed.
Me:
"thankyou"
Nt
ambo:
"youar
ewel
come"
Hepul
ledachai
randsati
nfr
ontofme.
Nt
ambo:
"soKhenvel
evel
eyoudon'
tli
keme?"
Igi
ggl
ed.
Me:"It
houghtyouweregonnacomeasl i
ke,
grand
gr
andawungimatch?(Real
lyyoudon'
tli
keme?)"
Hechuckl
ed.Hei
sscar
ybutgoodl
ooki
ngi
fyou
j
ustst
areathi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"Souyangimat
ch?(Youl
ikeme?)
"
Me:
"whydoyouwantmet
oli
keyou?"
Nt
ambo:
"whynot?"
Me:
"youar
epl
ayf
ul"
Ntambo:
"that
'sme,
butIcanbeser
iousi
fIwantt
o
"
Hemovedcl
oser
.
Nt
ambo:
"youwantmet
obehonest?
"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Ntambo: "Iam anexcon,IhaveBeeninandoutof
pri
son, Idi
sappoint
edmymot herandIhavenever
hadanyt hi
ngsoli
dinmylifebutIam t
ryi
ngt omake
somechangei nmyl if
e.OnethingIwouldneverdo
i
nmyl i
feisbeatawomanuporevenhol dher
agressi
velybecauseiwouldn'
twantanotherman
doingthattomymot her,
ifyouloveheryoulove
her"
Il
ookedathi
m andhegotupandkissedmyl i
ps
l
ayingmedownandIrespondedaswell.Iclosed
myeyesasmyheartwasbeatingandhebr okeit
.
Nt
ambo:
"eatt
henr
est"
InoddedandwesatupandIat
e.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
38] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t26

Ireall
ywast i
redfrom yester
daybutasIhavemade
apr omiset
ot hepastorthatIwil
lcomeoncemor e
thenIhavetokeept hatpromise.Ihavebeen
avoidi
nggoingt ochurchbecauseIwasst ar
ingmy
businessandnowIhavet ogoandmaybegi ve
thanksforeveryt
hing.Igotof ft
hebedandRazor
groanedinannoyance.
Razor:
"whyar
eyouwaki
ngupear
ly?"
Me:wear
egoi
ngt
ochur
ch"
Het
urnedt
heot
herway.
Me:
"Awubabe"
Razor:
"keepmei
nyourpr
ayer
sNana"
Me:
"Ar
en'
tyoucomi
ng?"
Hepretendedhei sasl
eep.Ihuf
fedandki
ssedhi
s
cheekbeforegett
ingofft
hebedandIwenttogo
andbath.AfterIwasdoneIworeagownandwent
towakeupt hekids.
Let
ho:
"Mommy"
Shesai
dstr
etchingherselfandyoucoul
dsee
Anel
eisst
il
lsleepyl
ikehisfather
.
Me:
"comel
et'
sgobat
hsowecangot
ochur
ch"
Let
ho:
"ther
eisi
cecr
eam i
nchur
ch"
Me:
"ifwegoIwi
llbuyahappymealandi
cecr
eam
"
Shesmi
led.Thi
sKi
d.
Let
ho:
"ok.Anel
ecome"
Theygotof fthebed.Imadet hebedandItookout
cl
othesfort hem andthenwenttobatht
hem both,
aft
erthatigott hem outandwenttol
oti
onthem and
getthem i
nunderwearbef or
eIwenttoir
ont hei
r
cl
othesandgott hem bothdr
essedandwrappeda
gownar oundt hem.
Me:
"comel
et'
sgomakesomef
ood"
Theyfol
lowedmeandwewentt ot
hekitchenandI
madesomecer eal
sfort
hem andfedthem ti
llt
hey
weredoneandIatesomethi
ngaswel lbefor
egoing
togetdr
essed.Razorwassti
llasl
eep.
Me:
"Baby"
Igotonhi
m.
Razor:
"Mmmh"
Me:
"don'
tyouwannacome?"
Razor:
"mmhmmh"
Iwhi
sper
edi
nhi
sear
.
Me:
"Iwi
llst
ayawhi
leweekher
e."
Heopenedhi
seyes.
Me:
"come"
Heshookhi sheadandclosedhiseyes.Okthat
fail
edIguess.Igotoffhi
m andIgotdressedina
semi for
maloutfi
tandhishoes.Ididmyhairwell
andsomemakeupher eandt her
etoWakeupt he
faceandIthengotdoneandt ookmybagandI
kissedhischeekandwalkedout.
Me:
"comel
et'
sleave"
Theyj umpof fthecouchandItaket
heirhandsand
wewal kout.Iwonderwher eNtamboisat,atthe
moment .Iopenedthedoorandgotthem i
nand
buckledbef or
eIgotinmysi deandIdroveofft
o
church.
Let
ho:
"ar
ewet
her
eyet?"
Me:
"pat
ience.Wewi
llgett
her
e"
Shenoddedandmyphoner
ang,
Itooki
tand
answer
edit.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Razor:
"Youar
est
ayi
ngt
hewhol
eweekNana"
Me:
"butyouar
enother
e"
Razor:
"youwi
llf
indmeher
e.Enj
oy"
Me:
"thehusbandyouwi
llbe"
Razor:
"andt
heBl
ackmai
li
ngwi
feyouar
e"
Ichuckl
ed.
Razor:
"youf
orgott
osayILoveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyouLi
ndani"
Razor
:"Il
oveyout
ooNana"
Me:
"Iam dr
ivi
ngIhavet
ogo"
Razor:
"sur
e"
Ihungupandputmyphonedownandconcer
ntr
ate
ontheroad.
.
.
*
MAMTHOBENI*

Iwokeupabi tl
atethanusualandImi ghtloosemy
jobforthat.Ihaveneverwokenupl ateandIdon' t
knowwhyIwokeupl atebecauseIsleptearl
y, Ihad
aheadacheyest erdayandmi ghtbethosepill
sMr
Ngemaof f
eredf ormet otakethathadsuchan
eff
ect.Itwasasunnydayaswel landbright
ert han
ever.Howcoul dImi ssthesun?Iwal ki
nsidet he
houseandst opmyt rackswhenIhearhi m callme
andIam i ntrouble.
Me:
"Mnumzane(Si
r)"
Hechuckl
ed.
Smi
so:
"Pl
easef
oll
owme"
Iwasner vousandshaki ngandscar edatthesame
ti
me.If ollowedhi m andhel edmet othedini
ng
areaandi twasdi splayedwi thbreakfasttr
eat
sand
foodaswel l,whomadet hisbecauseIam sur ehe
can't.Noti nanof f
ensiveway.Hehandsf l
owers
thatwereont het abletomet henopensachai rfor
me.Iam f ami shedandst i
llamazedwi t
hwhat's
uponme.
Smi
so:
"Howi
syourheadache?
"
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
"muchbet
tert
hankyou"
Henoddedandki
ssedmycheekbeforegoi
ngt
osit
nextt
ome, f
aci
ngthewhol
efeastandmeaswell
.
Me:
"Si
r.
..
"
Hel
ooksatme.
Me:
"Smi
sowhati
sthi
sal
labout?"
Smi
so:"doesn'
tamanspoi
lhi
swomanoncei
na
whi
le"
Me:
"youmadet
his?"
Smiso:"no,
Ihi
redsomeonet
odoever
ythi
ngf
or
theday"
Me:
"oh"
Het
akesmyhand.
Smi
so:
"asol
dasIam,
Ist
il
lromant
icatt
hisage"
Me:
"youdon'
tlookol
d"
Hechuckl
ed.
Smi
so:
"youdon'
taswel
l.Howol
dar
eyoumyl
ady?
"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"55"
Smi
so:
"St
il
lyoungandyoungert
hanme."
Me:
"Isee"
Hetakesbr
eadandbreaksitandbut
ter
sitthen
f
eedsmei t
.Ishyawaybecausethi
sexperi
enceis
al
lnew.Ichewont
hebr
ead.
Me:
"it
'sni
ce."
Smi
so:
"it
's-
"
Me:
"don'
tsayi
tbecauseIwi
llf
orget
"
Hechuckl
ed.Hest
andsupandl
eansmysi
deand
gi
vesmeakiss.
Smi
so:
"Iam t
oool
dtochasear
oundSi
we"
Smi so:"Al
lmyyearsitfel
tli
keIhadonlyafew
yearsofaseriousr
elati
onship,IwantsomeoneI
willdi
ewi t
hnow.Idon' twantustowasteeach
other'
stimes"
Me:
"whatar
eyoumeani
ng?"
Smi
so:
"CanIf
indwhatIam l
ooki
ngf
ori
nyou?"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.Iam scar
ed"
Smi
so:
"don'
tbe"
Sl
owj
azzst
art
stopl
ayandi
t'
sjusti
nst
rument
als
Smi
so:
"let
'seat"
Hesi
tsbackdown.Whydi
dhi
swi
feandhi
m not
wor
kout.Heisagentl
eman.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

"
Khenar
eyoudone?"
ItaketheclothesoffthebedandIfoldthem and
l
ookedatmysel f.Thi
sout f
iti
t'
sok.Igoopent he
doorbeforehebr eaksitdownandhel ooksatme
fr
om thebot t
om tothet op.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam uncomf
ort
abl
e"
Il
ookatmysel
f.
Me:
"why?I
t'
sref
reshi
ng"
Nt
ambo:
"it
'sr
eveal
ing"
Me:
"it
'sashor
tonl
yFezi
leandyouboughti
t"
Nt
ambo:
"It
houghti
treachedt
heknees"
Me:
"so.
..
"
Nt
ambo:
"ifyouf
eel
okt
heni
t'
sfi
ne"
Isi
ghed.Bakangwoul
dhavesmashedmewi
tht
his
wal
l.
Nt
ambo:
"Ipr
omi
seyout
hatyouar
eok"
Me:
"ok"
Heperkedmyl ips.Secondt i
mehekissesmyl
ips
andIdon'tknowhowt ojudgethat
.Hegoesi
nside
andtakestherestofourst uf
fandkeys.
Nt
ambo:
"let
'sgo"
Hetakesmyhandandwewalkout.Wegett
othe
carandgeti
nbefor
ehedr
ivesof
f.Hepl
ayssome
musicwhil
eati
t.
Me:
"am Igoi
nghome?"
Ntambo:
"no, wearegonnaf
indapr oper
2bedr
oom apar
tmentandwewillshareit"
Me:
"ohw"
Nt
ambo:
"Iwantt
okeepyousaf
e"
Idon'tknowaboutthat
.West
art
edattheDranhe
checkedmeandgi vemeoi
lst
ocaressmybody
withandmedicationandwet henwentt oeatbefor
e
goingapart
menthunt i
ng.Thef ir
stonewemeta
whitel
adyandi twasbyPretoriawest.Wegott her
e
andIwasr eal
lyscared,myinstinctsaysrel
ax.You
aregoodbutmybr ai
nsaysthat'showi t
'sst
art
ed
withBakangremember?SoIdon' tknow.
Nt
ambo:
"come"
Wemadeourwayoutoft hecarandmett hesal es
womanIguess.Shesmi ledandsaidwewer eright
ontime,yesterdayshevi ewedittoacoupl eand
theyhaven'tgottenbackt oher.Shewast alki
ngnon
stopaboutt hepr eviousviewer'
sandall.Wef inall
y
gettotheapartmentandsheopenst henwewal k
i
nside.It
'sbeautifulandveryspacious.
Nt
ambo:
"Howmuch?"
Her:
"R5400permont
h"
Henoddedt
hat
'sal
ot.
Her:
"ithastwobedr
oomsandonebat
hroom and
al
soapar ki
ngspace"
Nt
ambo:
"isi
tsaf
eforher?"
Her:
"def
ini
tel
y"
Henodded.Iwassil
entandhet
ookmyhandand
wewalkedtothebedr
oom si
de,i
twasr
eal
ly
wonder
ful
.
Nt
ambo:
"ut
hini?(Whatdoyousay?)
"
Me:
"it
'sni
ce,
ver
yni
cebutyouar
etheonebuyi
ng"
Nt
ambo:
"Monamour
"
Ismi
led.Thatname,
hechuckl
ed
Nt
ambo:
"youshoul
dseeyourf
ace"
Me:
"it
'sf
ine"
Henoddedandt
ookmyhandandwewal
kedout
.
Lady:
"sohowi
sit?"
Nt
ambo:
"wear
etaki
ngi
t."
Her:
"wonder
ful"
Nt
ambo:
"wecanmovei
ntoday?"
Lady:
"yesofcause.Justneedt
odosome
paper
workandit'
syours"
Nt
ambo:
"wonder
ful"
Wewal
kalloutandfol
lowtot
hecar
sbef
ore
f
oll
owi
nghertoheroff
ice.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Wegottochurch.Ishouldhavelef
tthesetwoat
homebecauset heykeeponfidgi
ti
ng.Thepr ai
se
andworshi
pfi
lledmyhear tt
odayandIr eal
lyam
star
ti
ngtol
ovechur chaswell.
Pastor:
"Matt
hew16:16SimonPeteranswered,
“YouaretheMessi
ah,t
heSonoft
hel i
vingGod.”
Congr
egat
ion:
"Amen!
"
Past
or:
"hesai
d-?
"
Congr
egat
ion:
"“Youar
etheMessi
ah,
theSonoft
he
l
ivi
ngGod.
”
Past
or:
"mayUnat
hiNgemacomeher
etot
hef
ront
"
Me:
"whatdi
dIdo?"
Iquest
ionmysel
f.
Let
ho:
"that
'syoumommy"
Past
or:
"comemychi
ld.Maywecl
aphandsf
orher
"
Ir
ise.Andmakemywaytohim whi
leeveryone
cl
apsthei
rhands,
Iwasner
vousandeveryoneis
l
ookingatme.
Past
or:
"seet
hiswonder
fulwoman"
congr
egat
ion:
"yes!"
Past
or:
"Youseet
hoseki
dsnextt
oher
?"
Theyagr
ee.
Pastor:
"Godblessedt
hatboyKwaNgemawi
th
them at
housandtimes"
Congr
egat
ion:
"mmmh"
Pastor:
"UyaziuNkulunkul
umeseethi
uyabonakal
isauyabonakal
isangawe
kubbangakubhekanga(WhenGodshowshimself
.
Heshowshi mselfthr
oughyou, t
heonet
heydi
dn'
t
expect)
"
Hepoint
satthecongr
egat
ion.Wel
ookatt
hedoor
andRazorwalkedi
n.
Past
or:
"myGod.Comeher
emyson,
cl
aphandsf
or
hi
m"
Theywer
eli
ght
ert
hanmi
ne.Hecamef
ort
h
Let
ho:
"Anel
ethat
'sdaddy!"
Igavet
hem adeat
hst
arebutshegi
ggl
ed.
Past
or:
"youar
ereal
lybl
essedmyson."
RazornoddedandIl
ookedathi
m.
Pastor:"AsIwassayi ng.Hebl essedhim andinhis
bl
essingsheshal lr
eceive.Hayini sazomkhuluma
makholwangi yaziomamDl aminibedlaamakhekhe
neti
yebedikidana(youwi llsti
llgossipabouthim
Fell
owChr i
stian's,IknowMr sDl aminiandt he
otherseati
ngbi scuit
swi t
ht eagossi pi
ng)"
Thechurchlaughedhest
art
edwal
kingar
ound.
Razorheldmyhand.
Pastor:"youheart
hem sayheheheWho's
daughteristhi
s,hehehewho'ssoni
sthat"
Hest
ops.
Past
or:
"areyouachi
ldofGodcont
ent
lybei
nga
j
udgeJudy?"
Congr
egat
ion:
"no!
"
Her
aisedhi
shandsandcamebackt
ous.
Past
or:
"yourmar
ri
agewi
llbebl
essed.Kneelbef
ore
memyki ds."
al
soembar r
assedWet ur
nedtohim andkneeled
beforehim hol
dinghands.Hest art
stoprayover
ourheads.Iwonderwhot oldhim wear egett
ing
mar r
ied.MaybeRazorment i
onedt hatdet
ailt
ohi m.
Whenhewasdonet hecongregati
onclappedt he
handsandwewentt ositdownandsomet urnedt o
congratul
ateus.Nicebunch.
Razor:
"IfIknewt
hiswasgoi
ngonIwoul
dn'
thave
came."
Me:
"youmi
ssedus"
Razor:
"Idi
d"
Let
holai
dherheadonhischestasshewassit
ti
ng
onhisl
ap.Anel
ejustr
estedhisheadonmylap.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

aft
erwhatwasnecessar ywasdonewewentt ot he
mallandheboughtt wobeds, Fri
dgeandal lthat's
i
mpor tantandneededandi twil
lbedel i
vered.Ij ust
thi
nkhei sdoingt oomuchandt henaf t
erlikewe
needsomebl anketsoweboughtt woandaf leece
andalsocl ot
hesf orbothofus.Nott oomuch.
Nowi twasl i
keIam spendi ngandi tseemst o
amusehi m.Wewentt ogogr oceryshoppi ngand
boughtmi ssi
ngappl iances, l
ikeaket tl
eandi ron
andwhatnotaswel landitwasal ldone.Iwast ired
whenwewer edone.Wet henloadedt hingsint he
carandhedr oveof f.
Ntambo:"wewi
lldr
opt
heseof
fandgof
etchyour
t
hings"
Isi
ghed.
Nt
ambo:
"don'
twor
ry"
Inodded.Wegott otheapartmentandweof f
l
oadedf r
om thecarandwhadanhourbef orethe
deli
ver
ytruckisherewiththebigStuf
f.Wewent
backtothecarandhedr oveofftowhereIusedto
l
ive.ManwasIscar edandner vousaswell.Wegot
tothesett
lementsandhepar kedthecarnearthe
roadsi
deandl ockedit
.
Nt
ambo:
"let
'sgo"
Me:
"youst
ayher
e"
Nt
ambo:
"Khensaniwewon'
tar
gue"
Inoddedandwewal kedt
hroughthehousesand
gottoourshackandthenei
ghbourwasout.Oh
howIhateherforal
waysreport
ingtoBakang.
Her:"ehKhensani,
otl
isabanna,
Bakangakekea
thabel
ahoutloaseo(
youbringmen,
Bakangwon'
t
behappytohearthat)
"
Nt
ambo:
"Y-
Me:
"don'
t"
Her:
"untebet
seempautseba'
net
e(i
gnor
emebut
youknowIam tel
li
ngt
het
ruth)
"
Iopenedt
hedoor
.
Me:
"st
ayher
e.
HenoddedandIgoti nandli
ft
edthebedandtook
theenvel
opethatcont
ainedmydocumentsand
checkedi
nsidebefor
eIwalkedout.
Nt
ambo:
"gotever
ythi
ng?"
Inodded.
Nt
ambo:
"okl
et'
sgo"
Wewal
kedof
f
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
38] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
NSERT27
Afterchurchwemetwi ththePastorandheshar ed
afewver sesandsai dthatAneleandRazorar e
specialpeople.Razorwel lhedoesn'tbelievethat
butIbelievethattheyar ereal
ly.Wealllefti
n
dif
ferentcarsandIwentt odropt hecaratthe
housebef oreweal llef
tforMcDonal dasIhave
promisedt othekids.Wegott hereandIor deredfor
everyoneandIpai d, it
'snotacr i
met opay
somet i
mesl adiesright?Theki dswentt oplayabit.
Me:
"youl
ookannoyed."
Razor:
"Iwasn'
tpl
anni
ngongoi
ngt
ochur
cht
oday"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Iper
kedhi
sli
ps.
Razor:
"it
'sok"
Me:
"Iam wor
ri
edaboutNt
amboi
sheok?"
Razor:
"yeshei
sok"
Me:
"okt
hat
'sf
inet
hen."
Razor:
"soyouar
egonnast
ayt
hewhol
eweek?"
Me:
"yesIwi
ll,
apr
omi
sei
sapr
omi
se"
Razor:
"Ineedtosendmyuncle'
sfastsowecan
getmarr
iedandli
vetoget
herwit
hourson"
Me:"Ican'
twai
tfort
hat
.Iwi
llpl
ant
hingswi
thyou
i
nvol
vedaswell"
Razor:
"Iam badatmaki
nggi
rl
ydeci
sions"
Me:
"Ihavebeent
hinki
ngl
ove"
Razor:
"yesNana"
Me:"ThatIwantustohaveyouknowanice
conveni
entweddi
nganditshoul
dbeinthe
townshi
pandalsothetr
adi
ti
onalweddi
ngsameday
sowecangetitoveranddonewit
h."
Razor:
"Ifyoul
ikei
t"
Me:"Ilovei
t.That
'swhyIhavebeenthi
nking.We
getmarri
edinchurchandThepastorbl
essesour
marri
age"
Razor:
"If
eell
iket
hepast
ori
sst
eal
ingyoul
it
tl
eby
l
it
tl
e"
Il
aughed
Me:
"no.Hei
snot
.Chur
chi
sni
ceandIwantt
o
const
ant
lygowi
tht
heki
ds."
Razor:
"youment
ionedt
heki
dsandnotme"
Me:
"andyout
oo"
Razor:
"Noyousai
dit"
Me:
"Wear
enotgoi
ngt
ofi
ghtt
hisNgomane"
Razor:
"sayt
hatagai
n"
Me:
"Mshi
ka,
Ngomane"
Heki
ssedmyl
ips.
Razor:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Ngi
kuthandamor
eSt
handwaSam (Il
oveyou
mor
emylove)"
Ir
est
edmyheadonhi
schestaswewai
tedf
orour
or
der
.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*
wewentpastt heSteersdr
ivet hruandboughtsome
takeawaybeforegoingtothef latandthedel iver
y
peoplewerether
e.Theygott hethingsinsideand
wet hankedt
hem.Nt ambot ookof fhi
st opand
shoesandhewasl eftinhi
sj eans.Iexpect edal ot
oftatt
oosorsomethingbutjustoneonhi sright
upperchestandheseemsl ikeanact i
veper sonas
well.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
ewegonnaeatf
ir
st?"
Me:
"wecanunpackandyoucaneat"
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
llhel
pyou"
Me:
"ok"
West ar
tedunpacki
ng.West art
edwiththe
bedroomsandsetupt hebedsandt henIrinsedt
he
l
inenAndNt ambowoul dputitandhewas
fr
ustrat
edbythesheet.Il
aughed.
Nt
ambo:
"laughatme"
Me:
"letmehel
p"
Ihel
pedhi
m byt
hesi
det
hatwasget
ti
ngt
ohi
m.
Me:
"Youwer
epul
li
ngagr
essi
vel
y,comesee"
Hestoodbehindme, t
hesidei
smorevi
siblesoI
don'
tknow.IgotdoneandIwasaboutt
ot urnand
heheldmywai st
.If
roze.
Nt
ambo:
"becar
eful
bef
oreyoubumpyour
sel
fint
o
me."
Me:
"sor
ry"
Wemadet hebedtohisr oom anditwasdoneand
thenwewentt otheroom Iwillbeusingandwegot
done.Wedi dotherplacesseparatel
yaswel landI
wast i
red.Ipackedthefoodawayat leastthenthe
restwewi l
lcar
ryontomor roworanot herday.We
tookourfoodandwar medi tbefor
ewesatdownt o
eat.
Nt
ambo:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:
"Iam good"
Nt
ambo:
"Mmmh"
Weatet
henafterIwenttothrowawayt
her
estof
t
hecont
ainer
sandt hencleanedup.
"If
eelt
ir
ed.Ineedknewmovi
ngi
sthi
sti
ri
ng"
Me:
"yeahi
tis"
Nt
ambo:
"don'
twor
ryyouar
esaf
e"
Me:
"thankyou"
.
.
*
MAMTHOBENI*

afterthebr eakfastwehad, wewentt olunchand

woul dsitout si
deandenj oytheviewofthishouse.
Itwasr elaxingandal soniceaswewoul dtalkand
gettoknowbi t
sof feachother
.Hewentont ogo
andanswerhiphomeandIsatt her
ebyt hepool
sidejustt hi
nkingofwhathesai dandwhathement .
Hegotbackandsatnextt omeandki ssedmyhand.
Smiso:"Iwastal
kingt
omybr
other
saboutt
he
negot
iat
ions."
Me:
"whenar
etheyhappeni
ng?"
Smi
so:
"thef
oll
owi
ngweekend."
Me:
"that
'swonder
fulf
orUnat
hi"
Smi
so:
"Iguess"
Ther
ewassi
lence.
Smi
so:
"icecr
eam ?"
Me:
"thatwoul
dbewonder
ful"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"Ihopei
t'
snotsomeI
tal
iani
cecr
eam "
Hel
aughed.
Smi
so:
"noi
t'
sjustVani
ll
a.Come"
Hetookmyhandandheki
ssedmyf
oreheadand
westoodupandwenti
nsi
de.
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
.
.
Ourorder
scameandIcal
ledtheki
dstocomeand
eatandweallat
e.Thi
ssi
ghtwasexci
ti
ngandhear
t
warmingaswell
.
Anel
e:"Mommyidon'
tli
ket
hisgr
eent
hing"
Het
ookoutt
hepi
ckl
esf
rom hi
sbur
ger
.
Me:
"ok"
Hecar
ri
edoneat
ing.
Razor:
"Thi
sissmal
l
"
Me:
"haahbabewhatdoyouwantmor
e"
Razor:
"somedeser
twoul
dhavebeenni
ce"
Me:
"si
es"
Hechuckl
ed.
Let
ho:
"yay!I
cecr
eam !
"
Me:
"no"
Let
ho:
"buti
t'
snott
wel
vemommy"
Me:
"it
'sone"
Shesul
ked.
Razor
:"yourt
imel
imi
thasn'
tcomesoIwi
llbuyi
t"
Let
ho:
"thankyoudaddy"
Il
ookedathi
m andheshr
ugged.
Me:
"whenyouar
edonewewi
lll
eave"
Let
ho:
"Ok"
Theykeptoneat
ing.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Wefel
tyoungforamomentt odayandal
somat ur
ed
aswel
l.Thedoorbel
lrangashehadmyf eetonhis
l
apandthenthedooropenedandIremovedmy
l
egsandhestoodup.
Smi
so:
"Bul
elwa"
Hi
sexwi
fel
ookedatme.
Bul
elwa:"Ihadt
oheari
tfr
om mybr
othert
hat
Unat
hiisout"
Smi
so:
"youl
eftherhi
ghanddr
y"
Bul
elwa:
"shei
smydaught
erandwhatar
eyou
doi
ngonmycouch!
"
Smiso:
"wearedi
vorcedandgetoutofmyhouse.
Don'
tbar
gel
ikeyouownit."
Istoodupandwor emyshoesleavi
ngthem ar
gui
ng
there.Iam t
oool
dfort
hisbehavi
our.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
39] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t28

*
MERCY*

Iwasrushi
ngaroundthekit
chen.Theyreall
ymean
busi
nessthosewomenwhogi veusmar r
iage
advi
ces.I
t'
snotawalkintheparkanddefini
tel
y
wasn'
toverthepastf
ewyearsaswellespecial
ly
ourfir
stt
woyear
sofmar r
iage.I
twasal
so.Ipat
aroundmybodyandtakeofftheapr
onandIam
star
tl
edbyashortf
igur
enexttome.Hesmi l
es
andIdothesame.
Me:
"mor
ning"
Heli
ft
shi
slunchbagt
ome.Ihavebeenl
ooki
ngf
or
i
t.
Me:
"thankyou"
Phi
la:
"Daddydr
essedmeup"
Me:
"Icansee.Wher
eisYol
anda?"
Shecomesdownt
hestai
rsandherhai
risdone.
Shei
sgrownaswel
l.
Yol
anda:
"Mor
ningMom andBl
ueber
ry"
Phi
lafrowsandItakehimi nmyar msandpl ace
hi
mi nthecount
erandIf eedhim andSandil
ewal ks
i
nwhenIam aboutf i
nishedfeedingPhil
a,he
ki
ssesmycheekandr eachesf orthef
rui
tbasket
i
nfrontofmeandtakesapeachandappl e.
Me:"Si
tdownyouar
enotgoi
ngt
owor
kwi
thout
eat
ing"
Sandi
le:
"babeal
otofwor
kiswai
ti
ngf
orme"
Ishookmyhead.
Yol
anda:
"daddywasl
eavi
ngus"
Me:
"Isee"
Shecarri
esoneati
ngandIgiveSandi
lehi
sfood
andwipePhil
asande'
sfaceandgethi
m downtogo
ri
nsehismouth.
Me:
"di
dhebr
ushhi
steet
h?"
Sandi
le:
"ibr
ushedhi
m"
Me:
"thankyou"
Iki
sshi
scheek.
Me:
"youhaveameet
ingt
oday?"
Sandi
le:
"at10h45"
Helookedathi swatch.Ilookathi m.Iam scar
ed,I
Almostlosthim andIalmostmi scarri
edPhil
aas
well
.Itwast oughforme.AsmuchasIwant edto
l
eavehim butthewhol eaccidentheneededme.
Thethoughtsofseeinghiml ayingtherewit
h
mult
ipl
emachi nesar oundhim sti
llscaresmeeven
whenhei
sasl
eepnextt
ome.
Sandi
le:
"Mer
cy!
"
Me:
"love"
Sandi
le:
"Iwascal
li
ngyou,
"
Me:
"ohIam Sor
ry"
Hestandsupwithhisfi
nishedpl
ateandhe'
stot
he
si
nkanddrinkswaterandturnst
omeandhe
comesandholdsmywai st.
Sandi
le:
"itwas5year
sago"
Me:"Iam notateasethatthosepeopl
ewer
enot
f
oundandputbehi ndbars."
Sandi
le:
"don'
twor
ry.Yourbodydoesn'
tneed
st
ress"
Heki
ssesme.
Sandi
le:
"ok?
"
Me:
"ok"
Sandi
le:
"howaboutwegetyoupr
egnant?
"
Me:
"got
owor
k"
Hechuckl
ed.
Sandi
le:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Weki
ssed
"
Ewwumommyi
ski
ssi
ngaboy"
Webr
okei
t.
Sandi
le:
"andmommyi
stheonl
yoneal
lowedt
o
ki
ssaboy"
Yol
anda:
",howmanyboys?
"
Me:
"twoboys"
Sandi
le:
"whoi
sthesecondone?
"
Me:
"phi
lacome"
Phi
la:
"nomommyIdon'
twant"
HewalkedoffandYol
andat
ookt
hei
rlunchbags
andwalkedoff
.
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llseeyoubaby"
Me:
"haveagoodday"
Theywal kedout.Ifi
nishedstudyi
ngangotmy
degreeandal sodidmyhonour sandnowIam
doingmyMast er
sandwhy?BecauseIam ahouse
wif
e, sandil
ewoul dr
atherhavemestudybutnot
wor k.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Imovedtheseal
edboxesofsomeappl
iancesandI
coul
dn'
tfi
ndtheket
tl
e.
"Youar
elooki
ngf
orsomet
hing"
It
urnedandhewal
kedi
nwear
inghi
st-
shi
rt
.I
swall
owed.
Me:
"Iam l
ooki
ngf
ort
heket
tl
e.Ineedsomecof
fee
"
Nt
ambo:
"mor
ning"
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Nt
ambo:
"howdi
dyousl
eep?"
Wel
lunt
ilt
hef
earofBakanghaunt
edme.
Me:
"good"
Nt
ambo:
"good"
Heper
kedmyl i
psholdi
ngmywaistandt
henwent
t
oopenthecupboar
dsandsear
ched.
Nt
ambo:
"Idon'
tseei
t"
Me:
"meei
ther"
It
ouchedmyl
ips.Hi
sli
pssmel
tofmi
nt,
Itouched
mywaist.
Nt
ambo:
"ohher
e"
Me:
"thankyou"
Nt
ambo: "pouri
tinat
ravel
ingmugbecauseyou
wi
llbel
ate"
Inodded.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam goi
ngt
owearshoes"
Hewalkedoff
.Waitishetaki
ngmet owork?I
deci
dedtokeepqui
etandmadet hecof
feeandt
hen
Iwasdoneandpourediti
nat r
avel
ingmugand
tookmybagofft
hetvstandandmyphoneandhe
camebackwit
hcarkeys.
Nt
ambo:
"let
'sgo"
Inodded.Iwon'
t.Askanyt
hing,wewalkedoutof
thebui
ldi
ngandWegoti nthecarandhestart
ed
anddroveoff
.
Ntambo:"(si
ngi
ng)phezukomunt uwomunt
u,
phezukomuntuamalobol
o,phezukomunt
u
oshadi
lebamnandiabant
ubabantu"
Hekeptonsi
ngi
ngandbobbl
inghi
shead.
Nt
ambo:
"Letmeputsomemusi
con"
Hedi
d.
Nt
ambo:
"sot
ellmehowyouendedupwi
thhi
m"
Me:"t
hingswer
en'
tokathomesower
ant
oget
her
her
e"
Henodded.
Me:
"haveyouseenyourmot
her?"
Hewasqui
et.
Nt
ambo:
"no"
Inodded.Hehel
dmyhand,
Ilookedati
tand
l
ookedaway.
Me:
"Il
ovet
hissong"
Het
urnedi
tupandsmi
led.
Nt
ambo:
"si
ngi
t"
Me:
"ha"
Hechuckl
ed.
Nt
ambo:
"comeon"
Me:
"it
'sal
readyatt
heend"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sur
eyouhavei
tonyourphone"
Me:
"Ido"
Ntambo:
"connecti
t.Iwantt
ohearwhati
smy
f
uturewi
fe'
sfavour
it
esong"
Me:
"wi
fe?"
Nt
ambo:
"Mr
sDuma.MamuMt
hombeni"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"li
stent
othi
ssong"
Itookoutmyphoneandconnectedandst
arted
playi
ngit
.Wel i
stenedtoi
tandhewassil
entandI
sawasmi le.
Isangalong.
"NguwenaOwami,
akhekhoengi
mbonayongaphandl
ekwakho
I
nhl
izi
yoi
cul'
ulozol
o
Makengabonal
ent
sizwa
NguwenaOwami
Akekhoengi
mbonayongaphandl
ekwakho
I
nhl
izi
yoi
cul
'ul
ozol
o
Makengabonal
ent
sizwa
Nomakanj
ani,
aweDal
iwami
Nomakanj
ani,
aweDal
iwami.
..
..
."
Nt
ambo:
"AweDal
i"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"youar
efor
war
d"
Nt
ambo:
"si
ngi
tformeonourweddi
ngday"
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Hehadast
rai
ghtf
ace.
Ntambo:
"Iwi
llmar
ryyoukhensani
.Justwai
tand
see"
Isheser
ious?Ilookedathi
mt henbackatmy
phoneandthesongchanged.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

itookt
heki
dstoschoolandRazorrushed
somewhereafterwor
kIwenttofetchthem soIcan
dropLet
hooffatNtet
hel
elo'
shouse.
Let
ho:
"canIpl
ayagamemommy?
"
Shesaidfr
om thebackseatandIgavet
hem my
phoneandIdroveoff.Itr
angandgoodthi
ngitwas
connect
edsoIanswer ed
Me:
"hel
lo"
Qamo:
"hel
loMr
s,youf
orgotaboutme"
Me:
"it
'sbeenhect
icl
atel
y.Howar
eyou?
"
Qamo:
"guesswhoi
sback"
Me:
"who?
"
Qamo:
"thedevi
linawoman'
sbody"
Me:
"Iam l
ost
"
Qamo:
"Yourmot
her"
Me:
"hai
bodon'
tsayshe'
smot
her
.
Qamo:
"what
ever,
shei
sher
eforyourl
obol
a"
Me:"Iwil
lgoal
lwhat
everonheri
fsher
uins
anyt
hing"
Qamo:"youknowher
.AndIgotyouadr
essf
ort
he
day"
Me:
"wowt
hanks.Ihavewr
it
tenamenuaswel
l
"
Qamo:
"foryouri
nlaws?
"
Me:
"yes.Iam ner
vous"
Qamo:
"that
'ssocut
e.LookIhavet
ogo.Loveyou"
Me:
"loveyour
sel
faswel
l"
Wehungup.
Let
ho:t
hedevi
lisback?
"
Me:
"no"
Shewassi l
ent,thischi
ldt
alkst
oomuchandi t
worri
esmesomet imes.WegottoAndiswa'shouse
andthegatewasopenedf ormeandIdr oveinand
thenunbuckl
edt hem andIt
ookLetho'
sbagsand
wewal kedi
nside.ThedooropenedbyZikhali
Me:
"hi"
Hehuggedt
hem andtheyr
ushedi
nsi
deand
j
umpedonNtet
helel
o.
Me:
"Hi"
Andi
swast
oodupandhuggedme.Iwast
aken.
Me:
"icanf
eeli
t"
Shel
aughed.
Andi
swa:
"howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam wel
l"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Imi
ssedyouguys"
Zi
khal
i:"wemi
ssedyou"
Wel
ookedatt
hem.
Let
ho:
"daddydaddy"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"yesbaby"
Let
ho:"mommyi
sget
ti
ngmar r
iedt
odaddy2.Iam
gonnahavet
womommiesandtwodaddi
es"
Anel
e:"yay!
"
Zi
khal
i:"yay!
"
Theyj
umpedonhi
m.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"don'
tjumpt
oomuch"
Andi
swa:
"youar
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?"
Me:
"yes.ToAnel
e'
sFat
her
"
Andi
swa:
"wowcongr
ats"
Me:
"thanks"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youshoul
dbr
inghi
mfordi
nner"
Me:
"to?
"
Andiswa:"uhm yes,sowecanknowhim si
ncewe
al
lrevol
vearoundtheki
dsandgettoknowhim"
Me:
"Iwi
lll
ethi
m know,
wehavet
ogo"
Anel
e:"ar
h"
Andi
swa:
"youwi
llcomesoonbaby"
Me:
"yes,
comebyeever
yone"
Wewavedandwal
kedoutget
ti
ngi
nthecar
.I
st
art
edi
tanddr
oveofft
owork.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI
*

Bul
elwa:
"gomakesomet
eaf
ormeandst
opsi
tt
ing
down"
Il
ookedather
.
Bul
elwa:di
dn'
tyouhearme?
"
Iat
emychocol
atecoat
edst
rawber
ri
es.
Bul
elwa:
"Isai
d..
..
."
"Youwi
llnotdothati
nmyhouse.Youwi
llnott
alk
toDi
edl
ikethat"
Hecamef
ort
h.
Bul
elwa:
"shei
sawor
kersheshoul
dbedoi
ngher
wor
k"
Smiso:
"that
'swhereyouar
ewr
ong.Shei
smy
par
tnerandnotyourmaid"
Shecl
ickedhert
ongue
Bul
elwa:
"noonewi
llmakeyouashappyasme"
Shewal
kedof
fandIl
aughedbymi
stake.Smi
so.Hi
ki
ds.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Hesatdownnextt
ome.
Smi
so:
"Iseeyougotmygi
ft"
Me:
"yes.Thankyou"
Smi
so:
"Iam sor
ryaboutal
loft
his"
Me:
"it
'sok.Icanhandl
eher"
Smi
so:
"shewi
llbegonesoon"
Me:i
t'
syourhouse"
Heki
ssedmycheek.
Me:
"howwasyourday?"
Smiso:"Iam r
eti
ri
ngsoon.Anel
eisyoungandI
needsomeonet oheadt
hecompanythat'
smyli
tt
le
i
ssuebutIgotsomeonetoday"
Me:
"that
'swonder
ful
"
Smi
so:
"Iwantt
ocuddl
e"
Me:
"wear
eol
dforsex"
Hel
aughed.
Smi
so:
"Ist
il
lhaveener
gy.Howaboutwesee?
"
Me:
"tr
icks"
Smi
so:
"youar
ever
ylovabl
ePhi
li
siwe"
Me:
"thankyou”
Heki
ssedmyl
ipsandhel
dmyhand.
Smi
so:
"Il
oveyou"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Smi
so:
"thatcuddl
e"
Me:
"wecancuddl
e"
HechuckledAndwegotupfr
om thegardenbench
andheldhandswalki
ngi
nsi
de.Bulel
walookedatus
whil
eshewaswat chi
ngTVandwewal kedupthe
stai
rs.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Thisi
samess.Ar eal
lybi
gone.Hepunchesmy
stomachandIcoughandbloodcameoutasthe
other
swereholdi
ngme.It'
sbecauset
hereare3of
them andonl
yoneofmeandcaughtmeof fguar
d.
Guy:
"doyouknowwhowear
e?"
Me:
"Khumal
obr
other
s"
Ayanda:
"Iwantt
oteachyoual
esson"
ThedooropenedandWendywaspushedi
n.
Wendy:
"Idi
dn'
tst
ealanymoney"
Thel
o:"shutup!"
Hesl
appedher
.
Zamani:
"youknowher?"
Me:"no,whywoul dImesswi t
hmystepdaught
er'
s
fami
ly?That'
slikeki
ll
ingherandmyf
iancenot
seei
ngheragain"
Wendy:
"heknowsme"
Me: "i
fitwasmethentakethegunandpullt
he
tr
igger.Il
oveUnat
hit
odoherl i
kethat
.Idoclean
stuf
f.Ihavemyonebusiness"
Zamani:
"Unat
hi?That
..
..
"
Me:
"don'
tyouevencal
lherabi
t
Me:
"wewi
llt
alkaboutt
hatl
ater
.
Wendy:
"het
ooki
t"
Mbongeni:
"butwet
racedi
tinheraccount"
Wendy:
"no"
Ayanda:
"wear
esor
ryman"
Me:
"Yeah,
Iwoul
dn'
tri
sknotseei
ngmysonagai
n"
Thel
o:"ohyouar
ethef
atheroft
hatsi
lentt
hing"
Me:
"thewor
dsagai
n"
Theyl
etmego"
Zamani:
"wewi
llt
eachyou,
"
Ist
oodupandwal
kedout
Wendy:
"Iwi
llgetyou!"
Theytaizor
edherandIcar ri
edonwalki
ng.That
wascloseandpai nful
.Ican'
tbel
ievet
heybel
ieved
thatsi
ll
ystory.Ical
ledntambo.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam notcomi
ngback,
Iam l
ivi
ngwi
th
mywoman"
Me:"wewillt
alkaboutt
hatl
ater.Ineedyoutotake
moneyfr
om Wendy'saccountandouti ti
nanot
her
t
hat'
suntr
aceableandthenwespl i
tit
."
Nt
ambo:
"it
'sdoneV"
Me:
"sur
e"
Ihungup.Igotat
extf
rom Unat
hi"
*
*"weneedt
otal
kbabe"
***
OhmyGod.Ihopei
t'
snot
hingser
ious.
.
.
.
[
09/
17,
16:
39] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t29

Iwasdoi ngsomeone' snails.YesImayownt he

placebutIal sodonail
sher eandther eand
appli
cati
onoft heweaveaswel laspeopl ewho
comej usttoappl ymakeup.I t'
ssurprisinghow
muchr eall
ywomenspendj usttofi
llupt heirfaces
andlookpr etty.Foragoodweavewear etalking
thousandt hatcouldhaveboughtsomet hing
neededf orsomewher eelse.That'
shai r.Nai l
s,
l
ashes, makeupki tallj
ustsumsupt obigmoney
thatcanbewashedawayaf teraf ewhours.Don'
t
getmest ar
tedont hewat erproofmakeup.These
womensi tt
ingherewantqual i
tyandwepr ovide
quali
tyandt heydon'tmindpayi ng.Wedon'tonly
accommodat eri
chwomenandt rophywivesbut
anyonewhoi swelcome,ital
ldependsonwhatyou
want.
Lady:"t
hesel
ookwonderf
ulwi
thmynewhai
r.I
can'
twaitt
odigsomet
hingont
hem "
Me:
"di
gaback"
Lady:
"sur
ewi
ll"
Wel
aughed.
Me:
"Iwi
llber
ightback."
Il
efthersothenai
lsandgelcoul
dset
tl
ewel
l
.I
wenttoKhensani.
Me:"Ihear
dmybr
otheri
nlawwasher
edur
ing
l
unch"
Shej
umped.
Khensani:
"ohFezi
l
e?Yes"
Me:
"spi
lli
t"
Shesi
ghed.
Khensani:
"okIwast
hinki
ngofgi
vinghi
ma
chance"
Isqueel
ed.
Me:"ohmyGodIam sohappyforyou.Ihaven'
t
knownhi
mforl
ongbutIknowthesemenar ethe
sweet
est
.
Khensani:
"Iam wor
ri
ed."
Ial
mostbl
urt
edaboutt
heabusei
ssue.
Me:
"don'
tbe.Hel
ovesyou.Enj
oyhi
m"
Khensani:
"youar
etal
kingl
ikeIshoul
ddevourhi
m"
Me:
"youdi
rt
ymi
nd"
Welaughedandshel
ookedatt
hecei
li
ngbi
tt
ingher
l
ip.
Me:
"uhm ear
tht
oyou"
Khensani
:"sor
ry"
Me:
"letmel
eaveyoudaydr
eami
ngaboutt
heman
"
Khensani:
"mxm"
Wel
aughedandIwal
kedaway.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Theki dswi l
lbebackanyt imesoonnowsoIwent
oncooki ngandIpr epar edli
ttl
esnacksi ftheyget
herebef oreIam done.Mymot heri
nlawcal leda
fewmi nutesagoaski ngmet ocomevi si
twi t
ht he
kidssoonandIagr eed.Wel lmyf atherinlawst i
ll
doesn'tlikeme, hehasaccept edthatSandi l
eandI
aretoget herbutsti
lldoesn'twantme.Idon' tknow
whyr eallyandIwoul dent ert
ainitbecauseIt ri
edin
thepast .Ihearfootstepsappr oachi
ng..
Yol
anda:
"Hel
lomommy"
Me:
"youar
ebackear
ly"
Yol
anda:
"daddygetf
etchedussayi
nghehasa
headache"
Me:"goundr
essyouandyourbr
othert
hencome
andeat
.Mommymadesnacks"
Theyranoff.Imovedtothelounge.Sandi
le
walkedinandhetookoffhi
sblazerandthr
ewthe
carkeysonthetabl
eandsatoni t
.
Me:
"howwasyourday?"
Sandi
le:
"Ihaveaheadache.Thenewcl
ienti
s
demandi
ng."
Me:"Iwil
ldi
shupf
oryout
henyoucant
akepai
n
ki
ll
ers.
Sandi
le:
"orIcanski
pfood.Lettheki
dseatand
dri
nkpanadoorAl
ler
gexthenIeatyou"
Me:
"somuchf
orbei
ngsi
ck"
Hechuckl
edandpul
ledmet
ohi
m.
Sandi
le:
"youar
emycur
e"
Me:
"foraheadche?No"
Hechuckl
ed.
Sandi
le:
"theDroncet
oldme"
Me:
"hewaswr
ong"
Thedoorbel
lrang.
Me:
"whomayi
tbe?"
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llgeti
t"
Igotoffhi
m andhestoodupandwalkedtothe
door.Iwentt
otheki
tchenandItookpai
nkil
ler
sin
thetopcupboar
dforhim andgotwat
erandhe
call
edme.
Sandi
le:
"Babe!"
Me:
"Iam comi
ng."
Iwalkedi
ntheloungeandther
ewasat eenagerboy
si
tt
ingint
hel i
vingr
oom.Hedidn'
tlookgood,li
ke
hewasondr ugsorsomethi
ng.
Me:
"uhm hi"
Iputeveryt
hingdownandhej
ustst
oodupand
camet ohugmecr yi
ng.
Hi
m:"Iam gl
adIf
oundyou"
Me:"uhm.
..
."
Hi
m: "Ican'
tst
aywit
hthem.Shemist
reatsme
MercyIcan'
tanymor
e.ShefeedsmedrugsIcan'
t"
Ir
emovedhimfr
om meandwipedhi
stear
sand
l
ookedathi
m,myeyesbecamegl
ossy.
Me:
"Pel
o"
HenoddedandIhuggedhim cryi
ng.Ihel
dhimfor
dearl
if
e.Hel
ookssmallandtinyli
keheisdyi
ng.
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?Youcamef
rom Pr
etor
ia?"
Henoddedf
ast
.
Thapel
o:"Yes.Icoul
dn'
t"
Hescr
atchedhi
msel
f."
Sandi
le:
"it
hinkheneedstofreshenupandeat
bef
oreanyt
hing.Togethi
m comf or
tabl
e"
Inoddedt
ryingtowipemyt
ear
s.Wher
eisMom ?
Whyishelikethi
s.
"Mommywear
edone"
Sandi
le:
"goeatbabi
es"
Theyl
ookedatThapeloandt
heynoddedwalki
ng
off
.Ihaven'
tseenhi
mi n8year
s.Hewas9whenI
waspregnantanddi
sowned.Ineversawhi
m agai
n.
Myonlybrother
.

*
KHENSANI*

Knockofft
imecameandUnathiwasal
lexci
tedj
ust
toseeNtambofet
chme.Hecamei nthesal
onall
changedupfr
om whathewasweari
ngandItook
mybag.
Meme:
"mmmhIwonder"
Me:
"Sshhh"
Nt
ambo:
"youar
eready?"
Me:
"yes."
Meme:
"Il
ovechocol
atecakewi
thbr
andy"
Me:
"Mel
okuhl
e!"
Shel
aughed.Het
ookmyhandandwewal
kedout
.
Me:
"west
il
lgotal
otofunpacki
ngt
odo"
Ntambo:"Idi
dthemajort
hings.Justt
hosesmal
l
st
uffl
eftandthet
visset"
Me:
"youshoul
dn'
thavedonei
tal
one"
Heopenedt
hedoorformeandIthankedhi
m and
goti
n.Hewentt
ohissideandgoti
n.
Nt
ambo:
"coul
dyour
elax?
"
Inoddedandhechuckl
edanddroveofftothe
apart
ment.Wegotther
eandheparkedandwegot
outandwenti
nsi
de.Itwasneatl
ikenothi
ngwas
l
eft.
Me:
"wow"
I
twasact
ual
lygr
eat"
Nt
ambo:
"youl
ikei
t?"
Ifel
ttear
yforar
easonandIhuggedhi
m andcr
ied
andhehuggedmeback.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sor
ry"
Igiggl
edIcanseei
t'
sawkwar
dforhi
m,Iwi
pedmy
tears.
Me:
"thankyou"
Nt
ambo:
"noneedt
othankme"
Ikissedhi
m andher etur
neditholdingmycheeks
anddeepeningthekiss.I
tsgood.MyGodhi sli
ps
arenice,t
hick,
softandtender.Ibrokei
t.
Me:
"uhm .
..
."
Nt
ambo:
"Il
iket
hewayyousayt
hankyou"
Me:
"mxm"
Nt
ambo:
"real
ly"
Heleanedinandki
ssedmet hi
sti
meandhel dmy
wai
st,Iputmyhandsaroundhisneck.Hebi
tmy
bot
tom li
pslowl
yandperkedmylips.
Ntambo:"
Ngiyazi
fel
angaweKhensani(Il
oveyou
somuchKhensani)"
Il
ookedathi
m andheki
ssedmeagain.Heiavery
goodki
sserandmakesoneenj
oyandDon'twantt
o
st
op.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI
*

"Thesunrosefrom t
hedarknessashershar
pcri
es
fi
ll
edmewhol e.It
hennamedherPhi l
isi
weasshe
broughtl
if
eintomylife.
"
Smi
so:
"that
'swonder
ful"
Icl
osedmymot her
'sdi
ary.Wewer
einhi
sroom
cuddl
ingwhi
leIwasreading.
Me:
"isUnat
hiok?
"
Smi
so:
"shei
sok"
Me:
"andQamuki
le?Shel
eftangr
y"
Smi
so:
"shewi
llcal
m down"
Inoddedandaknockwasont
hedoor
.
Smi
so:
"ignor
eit"
Inoddedandhehel dme.Softjazzmusicwas
playingaroundt
hebedroom r
adiowhil
eIclosedmy
eyesi magini
nghowmysoni sliei
njai
l.Imi
sshim,I
mi sshim somuch.Iam gl
adIhaven'
theardheis
dead.ItgivesmepeaceaswellbutIwanttohold
hi
m agai
nbutwhen?Whenwi
llIhol
dmyFezi
le?
.
.
*
SIYAMTHANDA*

Hewalkedi
nandthr
ewal
lhist
hingsonthebed
nextt
omeandItookmyphoneandlookedatt
he
ti
me.
Ayanda:
"IknowIam l
ateandIam sor
ry."
Hetookoffhi
scuffl
inksandshoesandgotont
he
bedandlai
dhisheadonmyt hi
ghs.Iputt
he
magazi
neIwasr eadingaway.
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Ayanda:
"wher
eisSi
yanda?"
Me:
"hei
sasl
eep.Hehadal
ongday"
Ayanda:
"met
oo.Wefoundt
heper
sonwhost
ole
fr
om meandi
t'
sawoman"
Me:
"wher
eisshe?"
Ayanda:
"whatdoyouwannado?"
Me:
"beatherbut
tforst
eal
ingt
hemoney"
Hechuckl
ed.
Ayanda:
"don'
tbaby.Wel
osti
t.I
t'
sal
ostcour
se"
Me:
"repor
ther"
Ayanda:
"wi
tht
hepol
icei
twi
llbemessyorcol
d"
Me:
"youar
eok?"
Ayanda:
"Iam ok"
Iki
ssedhi
sfor
eheadandpl
ayedwi
thhi
shai
r.
Me:
"di
dyoueat?
"
Ayanda:
"Isawt
hef
ood.Thankyou"
Me:
"it
'sok"
Hesatupandbi
thi
sbot
tom l
ip.
Me:
"whatar
eyout
hinki
ngof
f?"
Ayanda:
"agame"
Me:
"whatgame?
"
Ir
aisedmybr
owandhepul
ledmyl
egsandIl
aidon
mybackandhegotonmeandki
ssedmewhi
leI
hel
dhi
sface.
Ayanda:
"how(ki
ssi
ngmyl
ips)l
oudcanyou
scr
eam f
orMnt
ungwa"
Me:
"Noscr
eami
ng"
Ayanda:
"butt
her
oom i
ssoundpr
oof
ed"
Me: "whatift
hepersonwhodidthehousedidn'
tdo
toowellandhadagl i
tchsomewhereandsound
passesthroughandthenMam Baluhearsme
screamingyourname"
Ayanda:
"comeon.I
twi
llbef
un"
Me:
"Ayanda"
Heki
ssedmyt
highsr
emovi
ngmysi
lkgown.
Ayanda:
"rel
axDrKhumal
o"
Me:
"it
'sr
isky"
Ayanda:
"Il
ovet
hisone"
Hewast
alki
ngaboutmyl
inger
ie.
Me:
"Ihaveal
ott
hatIhaven'
twor
n"
Ayanda:
"mmm"
Hetouchedmypr i
vateareaandwentdownand
par
tedmyl egsworki
nghi sfi
ngers.Igaspedand
bi
tmybot t
om li
pclosi
ngmyeyesasIf eelt
he
pl
easure.Hethenpulleditoutandkissedit.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Iwalkedinsidet
hebedroom.Icheckedforrazor
everywhereandIfoundhiminbedsleepi
ngin
boxersonly.Ist
oodbythedoorwayandexami ned
him.Anelewentt osl
eepaft
ereat
ing.Iwalkedin
andIgentlyyouhe'dhi
m butheheldmyar m.
Razor:
"don'
tdot
hat
.Iwoul
dhavebr
okenyour
hand"
Me:
"sor
ry.What
'swr
ong?"
Razor:
"longday"
Iwentt
oopent
hel
ight
sandhi
sjawwasbr
uised.
Me:
"wi
shwhathappened?"
Razor:
"not
hingmaj
or"
Me:
"evenyourst
omachi
spur
ple"
It
ouchedhi
m andhef
li
nched.
Razor:
"Kasipr
obl
ems.Don'
twor
ryok"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Razor:
"Nanadon'
twor
ry"
Hepul
ledmet
ohi
m andweper
ked.
Me:
"ifyouar
eok"?
razor:
"Iam."
Me:
"haveyoueat
en?
"
Razor:
"Iam nothungr
y"
Inodded.Hethenclosedhi
seyesandl
ookeddown
rubbi
nghiseyesthenopenedthem.
Me:
"ar
eyouok?"
Razor:
"yeah.It
houghtIsawsomet
hing"
Me:
"Ihavepai
nki
ll
ers.Theywor
kli
keachar
mfor
myper
iodpai
ns"
Henodded.Igotupandtookthem outofmybag
andwenttogethim wat
erandthencamebackand
hedr
ank.Helaiddownafter
.
Me:
"KhensaniandFezi
le"
Razor:
"Hewon'
thur
ther"
Me:"Iknow"
Razor:
"justt
ellhert
obel
oyalt
hat
'sal
l"
Me:
"am Il
oyal?
"
Razor:"yeah"
Me:
"Nt
ethel
eloandAndi
swai
nvi
tedusf
ordi
nner"
Razor:
"gosh"
Me:
"wear
ecopar
ent
ing"
Razor:
"fi
ne"
Me:
"thankyoubabe.Sl
eep"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
psandwentt
othebat
hroom.
.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Thekissingwentt othebedroom andendedup

beingdeeperthani twas,het ookoffhi
stopand
myt opandIwasyear ni
ngf orhisli
pstotouchmy
skinagainandmakemeshi ver.Heunhookedmy
braandheki ssedthespacebet weenmyboobs,I
heldhisheadashewentt oni bbli
ngonmyni ppl
es
andIgaspedati tandheki ssedmybooband
suckedonmyni ppleshistonguei nt
ertwi
nedand
theotherwasbei ngsqueezedi nhismanlyhand.
Hehol dsmywai standkissesmybel l
yandtakes
mypant soffslowlyandIal l
owhi m bef
orehe
bri
ngshi sl
ipsformet odevouron.[ SCISSORED]
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
39] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t30

*
ANDI
SWA*

Nt
ethel
elo:
"ther
eisapr
obl
em i
nGer
manyagai
n."
Me:
"youhavet
ogo?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"No,
Kwandoi
sgoi
ngt
hist
ime"
Inoddedandl
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Mbul
aziwehavet
otal
k"
Het
urnedf
rom t
hemi
rr
orandl
ookedatme.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"somet
hingwr
ong?"
Igotoffthebed.Ihaveal r
eadyprepar
edthekids
forschoolandtheyleaveearl
ywi t
hDina.She
doesn'tminddri
vingthekidsbecauseshedoesn'
t
doanyt hi
ng.Zamanidoesn'twanthertoworkso
shestudiesinherfr
eet i
meandshesaysshe
enjoysitatt
imesaswel l,
Iwasn'tgoi
ngtowork
t
oday.Iwasn'
tfeel
ingok.
Me:
"pl
easesi
tdown."
Hesatdownnextt
omeont
hebedandIl
ookedat
hi
m.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"yesIam "
Nt
ethel
elo:
"okyoucant
ellme"
Me:"Iwassickalongt
imeagoandhavi
ngshar
p
headacheswhi
leyouwerei
nDurban"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"di
dyougot
otheDrl
ikeIsai
d?"
Me:
"yesIdi
d"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ingnow?"
Me:
"Iam ok.If
eelok."
Nt
ethel
elo:
"whatdi
dtheDrsay?
"
Me:
"hecheckedmeandt
est
edandhe.
..
"
Hel
ookedatmeandIsmi
ledandki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Hewhat?"
Me:
"wear
egonnabepar
ent
s"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"par
ent
s"
Me:
"Iam pr
egnant"
Hel
ookedatme.
Ntet
hel
elo:
"asi
nli
keal
it
tl
eMnt
ungwai
sgr
owi
ng
i
nyou?"
Me:
"yes"
Heengul
fedmei nahugandrol
ledusont
hebed
andIgi
ggledandwesharedaki
ss.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youar
eki
ddi
ngme?
"
Me:
"no"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam notgoi
ngtoworkanymor
e.We
ar
egoingtotheDrtoseeourchampi
on"
Me:
"ohMnt
ungwa"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"Fuckyoudon'
tknowhowhappyIam
baby"
Me:
"met
oo"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
ooMnt
ungwa"
Weshar
edaki
ss.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
.
.
*
MERCY*

Icouldn'
tsleepl
astnight.Wedecidedtolet
Thapelorestbef
oreweaskanything.Iam worr
ied
abouthim andthestatehewasinyesterdaywasn'
t
pleasantt
ome.
"
Youl
eftme"
Hesatont
hehi
ghchai
rnextt
omeandIputmy
mugdownandsi
ghed.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Sandi
le:
"HowaboutIprepar
ethekidsandt
henI
taket
hem t
oschoolandworkfr
om hometoday?
"
Me:
"youwoul
ddot
hat?"
Sandi
le:
"yes"
Iper
kedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Iwi
llmakeabr
eakf
astf
itf
oraki
ng"
Sandi
le:
"youhavet
o"
Wel
aughed.
Sandi
le:
"Iam her
eok?"
Me:
"thankyou"
Wekissedandhegotupandwal kedoff
.Istart
ed
get
ti
ngoffthechairandIst
artedmakingbreakf
ast
asIpromisedandpancakesfortheki
ds.They
camedownt hestair
saft
ersomet ime.
Yol
anda:
"mor
ningMommy"
Phi
lagavemehi
slunchbag.
Me:
"mor
ningbaby"
Phi
la:
"mor
ningMommy"
Ikissedhi
scheekandsathim onthehi
ghchai
rand
thenIfedhim andSandi
lef
edYolanda.
"Goodmor
ning"
Hestoodther
einadistance.IgavePhi
lahi
s
pancakeandhefedhimselft
hengotoff
.
Me:
"Heyhowdi
dyousl
eep?"
Myeyeswer
etear
y.
Thapel
o:"ok."
Sandi
le:
"Let
'sgoki
ds"
Theygotof
f.
Me:
"byebabi
es"
Yol
anda:
"byemommy"
Sandi
le:
"Bye"
Heki
ssedmycheek.
Me:
"bye"
Theyl
eft
.
Me:
"comeandeat"
Isathi
m downanddi
shedupf
oodf
orhi
m andhe
wentinfort
heki
ll
.
Me:
"whathappenedThapel
o?"
Hel
ookedatme.
Thapel
o:"Mom di
edt
heyearaf
teryoul
eft"
Tear
slef
tmyeyes.
Me:
"I.
..di
dn'
tknow"
Thapelo:
"wemovedf r
om whereweusedt
oli
ve.
Andiswadidn'
tknowaswell"
Me:
"oh,
it'
smyf
aul
t"
Thapelo:"whenIwas12dadr emar r
iedandhiswife
haskidsaswell.Westayedtogetherandshe
mist
reatedme, fr
om beat
ingstosleepi
ngoutside"
Me:
"andwher
eisdad?"
Thapel
o:"hei
sther
e"
Hei
sdoneeat
ing.
Me:
"youwantsomemor
e?"
HenodsandIdi
shupf
orhi
m.
Thapel
o:"shedidn'
tli
keandwantmet obebet
ter
thanherki
ds.Shefel
tthreat
enedsoi
tstat
essmall
withmuffi
nsbutInevernoti
ced.
Me:
"dr
ugs?
"
Henodded.
Thapel
o:"If
eltt
heur
getohaveanotherFi
xandi t
wasstr
ange.Shedi
dn'
tmindfundi
ngmei nthat"
Me:
"what?"
Thapel
o:"Ist
art
edf
ail
ingandIdr
oppedouti
n
grade9"
Me:
"ohngwanawamama"
Ihuggedhi
m.Hei
sshaki
ng.
Thapel
o:"Idon'
twanttododr
ugsMercy,Ican'
t
st
opscratchi
ngmyself
.Ineedanot
herf
ix"
Me:
"Iwi
llhel
pyoust
opt
hem.Iam her
e"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.Ohmybr
other
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

If
ixedmysel
fforwor
kandl
ookedatRazor
.Hewas
soundasl
eepsinceyest
erdayandIam worr
ied
abouthi
sbrui
ses.Whatifi
t'
sint
ernalaswel
l.
?
Me:
"baby"
Hegr
oaned.
Me:
"Imadebr
eakf
astf
oryou"
Henodded.
Me:
"ar
eyouok?"
Razor:
"Iam ,
don'
twor
ry"
Me:
"ok"
Iki
ssedhi
scheek.
Me:
"Iam of
f.
Razor
:"enj
oyyourday"
Me:
"ifyoudon'
tfeelok,
cal
lme"
Razor
:"don'
twor
ry"
Me:
"ok"
It
ookmybag.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Razor:
"Il
oveyoumor
e"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
psandwal
kedout
.
Me:
"Anel
elet
'sgo"
Hetookhi
sbagandj
umpedoft
hecouchand
f
oll
owedmeout.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Me:
"ahThabi
sa!"
Thabi
sa:
"Iam sor
ry"
Sheputsevlonont
hecot
tonwi
llanddabbedi
ton
mybusturedli
p.
Me:
"Thabi!
"
Shest
oodupl
eavi
ngmeandIsni
ff
ed.
Me:"youshoul
dhaveseenhi
mlyi
ngt
hroughhi
s
t
eet
h."
Thabi
sa:
"hei
saj
erk"
Me:"Iam gonnagethi
m.Andhewon'
tseei
t
coming"
Shel
ookedatme.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Mybodywasachi ng, myprivat

eareawasbur
ning
andIfeltdr
ained.Idon'tt
hinkIwil
lbeabl
etogoto
worktoday.Icouldn'tmovebecauseNtambo'
sleg
wasintert
winedwi t
hmi neandhishandwasonmy
stomach.
Me:
"Fezi
le"
Hegroaned.Ihaveneverhadsomeonemakel ove
t
omeandf uckmethewayhedi d.If
eltsomet
hing
t
hroughitall
.
Me:
"Fezi
lewakeuppl
ease"
Nt
ambo:
"Sl
eepkhensani"
Me:
"removeyourl
egt
hensoIcangoandpee"
HeremoveditandIgotoffstumblingabitthen
wenttothebathroom.I
twasami ssiontopee.I
peedl
ikeIam letti
nggoofdropl
ets..If
inished
aft
eralongti
meandIopenedwat erint
hebat htub
andIwenttobr ushmyteet
hbeforegett
ingi nsi
de
andsoakingmysel f
.Ther
ewasaknockont hedoor.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Iam "
Nt
ambo:
"Ok"
Ibathedmyselfandgotoutbet t
erandwrappeda
towelaroundmeandIwal kedoutofthebat
hroom
andwentt omyr oom.Ihear dhi
m goingi
nthe
bathroom.Iworeadr ess.Mypussyneedssome
airt
obr eat
hyoh.Iwenttot akemyphoneandwent
tomyr oom agai
nandIcal ledUnathi
.
Unat
hi:
"Khensaniwher
ear
eyou?
"
Me:
"Ican'
tmakei
ttowor
kIam si
ck"
Unat
hi:
"ohno"
Me:
"what?"
Unat
hi:
"Iknowt
hatst
unt
.Hef
uckedyoudi
dn'
the
?
"
Me:
"who?"
Unathi:
"Oouuhhemusthavebeengoodi
fyou
can'
tcome"
Me:
"Iam si
ckadmybodyi
sachi
ng"
Shel
aughed
Me:
"Unat
hi,
youactdi
ff
erent
lyf
rom al
lowner
s"
Unathi:
"whyshoul
dIbeupti
ght.Oouhgi
rlIneedt
o
hearthi
stomor
row,takeadayoff"
Me:
"thankyou"
Unat
hi:
"Iwantyouatwor
ktomor
row."
Me:
"Iwi
llcome"
Shegiggl
ed.IhungupmydooropenedandIl i
ft
ed
myheadandhel eanedagainstt
hedoorfr
ame
,whatist
his?Ifeelshyandscaredaswel
l.Wejust
hadsexandnow. .
?
Nt
ambo:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:
"bet
teraf
terbat
hing"
Hesmi
led.
Nt
ambo:
"Weneedt
otal
k"
Me:
"ok"
Isatupandhewal
kedi
nandsatdownnextt
ome"
Nt
ambo:
"Af
teryest
erdayhowdoyouf
eelaboutus
?"
Me:
"att
hemomenti
tseemsawkwar
d"
Nt
ambo:
"it
'snot"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
oveyouok?"
Inodded.
Nt
ambo:
"Soyouar
eof
fi
cial
lymywoman"
Me:
"youdi
dn'
taskhawu"
Nt
ambo:
"oursoul
sconnect
ed"
Me:
"myGod"
Wel
aughedandheper
kedmyl
ips.
Nt
ambo:
"Monamour
"
Ibl
ushed.
Me:"st
opthet
ri
cks.Iam notsl
eepi
ngwi
thyou
anyt
imesoon"
Ntambo:
"youwi
llbesur
pri
sedscr
eami
ngmyname
i
nasecond"
Me:
"no"
Wel
aughed.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
40] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t31

Qamo:
"mmmh,
thatl
ookswonder
ful!"
Zama:
"youl
ookamazi
ng"
Me:
"i
tlooksbeaut
if
ul"
Zama:
"Real
lyQamoIcommendyou"
Shecl
appedherhandsandIt
ookmyphone.
Me:
"youIhavet
ogol
adi
es,
Anel
e"
Zama:
"ohmyGodIf
orgotmypumpki
n"
Sheputt
hewineglassdownandIrushedtothe
bedr
oom andIchangedget
ti
ngoutofthedressand
woremyclot
hesandheldmyshoes.
Qamo:
"Iwi
llcomewi
thi
tnextweek."
Me:
"thankyou."
Qamo:
"yourmot
herwant
stoseeyou"
Me:
"don'
trui
nthi
ngs."
Shel
aughed.
Zama:
"let
'sgo"
Shemadeacal
l.
Zama:
"baby.
..
."
Iwentt
omycarandIgoti
nandt
henamessage
cameinmyphone.
Razor:
"If
orgott
osayIf
etchedAnel
e"
Ibr
eat
hedout
.
Me:
"thankyou"
IputmyphoneawayandIst
art
edt
hecarandI
droveof
f.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Unathi'
spainkil
ler
shelpedmeal ot.Ievengotto
fetchoursonandIt ookusoutjusttobond.Hei sa
verysil
entki
dbutspeakswhenhewant sto.Iknow
i
t'snotUnathiormyper sonal
it
ybecausewet alk
alot.Iwenttocheckmybusi nessandt henIdrove
home.Myphoner angandAnel erant ohis
bedroom.
Me:
"shar
p"
Nt
ambo:
"It
ransf
err
edt
hemoney"
Me:
"good."
Nt
ambo:
"whathappened?"
Me:
"sl
oppyj
obwi
thWendy"
Nt
ambo:
"whydon'
tyoucutherof
f?"
Me:
"Idi
d."
Nt
ambo:
"ifyoucan'
tIwi
lldoi
tforyou"
Me:
"nowor
ri
es"
Nt
ambo:
"ok.Iwi
llseeyou"
Me:
"tr
ansf
erhal
fint
omyaccount"
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
ll"
Me:
"sur
e"
Ihungupandsentat
extt
oUnat
hi.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Thapel
osleptforsometi
menow.Iwoul dgoand
checkonhim hereandt
hereunt
ilhewokeupand
atel
unch.IwenttoSandil
e'
sst
udyashehad
l
ockedhimsel
finther
esincemorni
ng.Iknocked
l
ight
lyanhesignal
edIcameinandiwalkedin.
Sandi
le:
"baby"
Me:"youhavebeencooki
ngyour
sel
finher
eeven
af
teryouf
etchedtheki
ds."
Sandi
le:
"iam sor
ti
ngt
heThapel
oissue"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Sandi
le:
"comeseet
his"
Iwal
kednextt
ohi
m andheshowedmehi
slapt
op.
Me:
"what?I
t'
sar
ehabi
li
tat
ionf
aci
li
ty"
Sandil
e:"yes.Wewi llt
akehimtherefor
rehabi
li
tati
onandt henenrol
lhi
mi ntheschools
aroundDur ban.Ial
readysenti
nanapplicat
ionto
twoschoolsal r
eady."
Me:
"uhm "
Het
urnedt
ome.
Sandi
le:
"baby"
Ihuggedhi
m andki
ssedhi
sfaceandhechuckl
ed.
Sandi
le:
"ki
sst
hel
ips"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
psandhehel
dmywai
st.Ibr
okei
t.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Sandi
le:
"Il
oveyoumor
ebaby.Igotyou"
Ihuggedhi
m.Thi
smant
hough.
.
.
*
THAPELO*

Iopenedmyeyesandl ookedaroundthisbi
groom.
Isitupfrom t
hebedandi t'
sgett
ingdarkoutsi
de.I
getoffthebedandgot othebathroom andistar
ted
vomi t
ing.Mystomachwascr ampingandithurt
.I
vomi t
edagaingreensubstancescameout .Igot
fr
ightenedandIstoodupandmyvi si
onwasbl ur
ry.
_
___
_(f
lashback)
Kele:
"(
stepmom )EatNx, Youshoul
dleavet
his
housebecauseyoustealandbuydrugs.Whatare
youdoingwit
hyourli
feheehThapel o!?"
Me:
"Mom "
Ithasbeen4dayswit
houteati
ng.Dadwasnot
homehewasatwor k.Iscr
atchedmysel
f.
Kel
e:"eat.Youshoulddi
ebecauseyouar
eusel
ess!
Yourmotherisnothere,
thi
sismyhouse!"
Sheturnedherheel
sandIst
ret
chedmyhandand
tookafinger
sful
lofpapandIatewi
thcabbage.I
t
fel
tli
keheaven.Ichewedsl
owl
y.
Kele:"Iam goi
ngnextdoor
.Tel
lTshegot
olockt
he
ki
tchencupboards"
Shewal kedoutforherusualgossi psessionnext
door.Asshewentoutofsi ghtIst oodupandwent
totheirbedroom andsear chedf ormoneyandI
foundi tontopofthewar drobe.I twasn'tmuchbutI
knewsomehowi thastogetmei nDur ban.I
neededt ofi
ndMer cy,Isawanewspaperondad' s
dresserandi thadherpicture.Icr iedtears.She
l
ookshappywhi l
eIam inmi sery.It ookitand
r
ushedoutandgoti
nat
axianddi
dn'
tlookback
_
___

Iwalkedoutofthebedroom andtr
iedcareful
ly
calculati
ngmystepsbutIkeptst
umbl i
ng.Iheldon
thewal landImi
ssedast epandIrol
leddownt he
stair
s.
"
Mommy,
daddy!
!"
Thepainwasexcr
uci
ati
ngi
nmyst
omach.I
groaned.
"ohmyGod.Sandi
le!
"
Shehel
dme.
Mercy:
"Thapel
ocanyouseeme?Canyouhearme
?"
Sheshoutedforherhusbandagai
nandIhear
d
foot
stepsapproachi
ngandiwaslif
tedup.
Mer
cy:
"comeki
ds"
Ir
elaxedmybodybecausewhatIam f
ight
ingi
sa
l
oosingbat
tl
e.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Igoti
nsidet
hehouseandAnel
eisl
ayingonRazor
whil
etheyar
ewatchi
ngTV.Razort
urnshishead.
Me:"Iam sor
ryIl
ostt
rackoft
imewi
thZamaand
Qamo"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"thankyou"
Razor:
"hei
smysonaswel
l"
Me:
"your
emi
ndedmeyouknow"
Razor:
"about?"
Me:
"it
'sapi
ll
owt
alk"
Hesmi
rked.
Razor:
"hei
sasl
eep.Let
'sgo"
Me:
"ayiNgomane,
howar
eyou?"
Razor:
"Iam f
eel
ingbet
terNanat
hankyou"
Me:
"Ineedt
obat
h"
Iwalkedtothebedroom andt
hrewmyshoesont he
fl
oorandputmybagdownandwentt othe
bathroom t
obath.Aft
erIwasdoneIgotoutand
wentt ot
hebedroom andRazorisi
nbed.
Me:
"it
'ssoear
ly"
Razor:
"it
'sneverear
ly,
comeher
e"
Igotonhi
m andweshar
edaki
ss.Hepl
acedhi
s
handsonmybutt
.
Razor:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"letmeshowyouhowmuchIl
oveyou"
Razor:
"Real
ly?
"
Igothi
m of
fhi
sbest
.
Me:
",,
yesr
eal
ly"
Razor:
"Il
ike"
Me:
"mmh"
Iki
ssedhi
m andhewentt
omyneckandki
ssedi
t
androl
ledmeoverandgotonmeandki
ssedmy
neckbi
tti
ngi
tsl
ight
ly.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
40] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t32

*
MERCY*

iam worried.TheDr shaven'tcameouttoinf

orm
mewhat 'swr ongwithThapel o.Sandi
ler
ushedto
droptheki dsoffathisparentsbecauset
heycan't
stayherewi thus.
Me:
"Lor
dpl
ease"
Il
ookedupj
ustt
opushthet
ear
sbackandthenI
l
ookeddownandaDrcame.Ir
ushedt
ohim.
Me:
"Drhowi
smybr
other?"
Dr:
"Hei
shangi
ngt
her
e."
Me:
"what
sthemat
ter?
"
Dr:
"wedi
dsometestsandsomewil
lcomeback
t
omorr
owbutwefoundanamountofcocai
neand
Rat
exi
nhisbl
oodsample."
Me:
"what?"
Dr:
"wearegonnabemoni t
ori
nghi
mforawhile,
hi
sli
versareshutti
ngdownbutwewi
llbesur
e
whati
scausingthatbyt
omorr
ow"
Isobbed.
Sandi
le:
"Mer
cy"
Ir
ushedt
ohi
m andhuggedhi
m.
Me:
"It
'samess"
Dr:
"Wewi
lldoal
lthatwecan"
Sandi
le:
"canweseehi
m ?"
Dr:
"Sur
e.
Ir
emovedmysel
ffr
om Sandi
leandwef
oll
owedt
he
Dr
.Wegoti
nhi
swar dandhehadapi pegoi
ngi
n
hi
smout
handothermachi
nes.Icr
inged.
Me:
"Pel
o"
Iwentonmykneesandcr
iedi
nfr
ontofhi
m.
Sandi
le:
"babyhewi
llbeok"
Me:
"it
'sdad'
sfaul
t.I
t'
smyf
aul
t"
Sandi
le:
"it
'snotyourf
aul
t.Hewi
llbeok"
Me:
"hei
ssmal
l"
Sandi
le:
"shhh."
Hecomf
ort
edme.
.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Itookagul
poffmybeverageandputmygl
ass
downandlookedbackatAxewhoisenj
oyi
ngt
he
meat.
Axe:
"Zi
yakhi
phal
ah(Thi
sisgood)
"
Me:
"What
'swi
thyourf
ri
endSni
tchi
ngonme?
"
Axe:
"youar
enotr
elevantanymor
e"
Me:"t
wominut
esnyanawi
thsnowwhi
tehei
s
br
eaki
ngt
herul
es"
Axe:
"year
swi
thhi
m yetheneverputar
ingi
nit
."
Thabi
sa:
"whatdoyoumean?"
Axe:
"yadumaikasil
onkel
endaba(i
twast
he
bi
ggestneedar
oundhere)
"
Me:
"whatnews?"
Wel
ookedateachot
herandshedr
ankherbeer
.
Axe:
"Razorpr
oposed"
Il
aughedandt
heyl
ookedatme.
Axe:
"yout
hinkIam pl
ayi
ng"
Shet
ookoutherphoneandscr
oll
edoni
tandIsaw
avi
deo.
Me:
"whot
ooki
t?"
Axe:
"me,
Isawi
t"
Me:
"thi
sisami
stake.Thatr
ingi
smi
ne.Nx"
Axe:
"aswespeakhei
spayi
ngl
obol
ainaf
ewdays
"
Me:
"What?!
"
Thabi
sa:
"cal
m downchomi"
Iwasf
umi
ng.Iwantt
ost
rangl
esomeone.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

SinceIhear
dt hatmom isback.Idon'tevenwantto
thi
nkofgoingbackhome.Iwi llgothrdaybefor
eif
neededthenafterIam l
eavi
ng.Iwon' tst
andher.
Khensaniwalksintomyoffi
ceandIsmi l
e.
Khensani:
"thatsmi
le"
Me:
"youar
egl
owi
ng."
Khensani:
"it
'st
hel
ight
ing."
Me:
"Nt
ambodi
ckmi
ti
sesyouwel
l"
Khensani:
"thi
siswei
rd"
Me:
"ar
eyoucomi
ngwi
thusnextweek?"
Khensani:
"Ntambodi
dment
iont
hatyouar
e
get
ti
ngpaidfor"
Me:
"yep,
Iwantyout
ocome.Idon'
thavef
ri
ends"
Khensani:"Iwoul
dbehonor
ed,
newwi
gshave
ar
rived."
Me:
"ohl
etmeseet
hem."
Ist
oodupandIf
oll
owedaf
terher.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Bul
elwa:
"wheni
sUnat
hicomi
ngback?"
Il
ookedatherandcar
ri
edonst
ir
ri
ngt
hepot
s.
Bulel
wa:
"li
stenher
e.Iam t
heonl
yMr
sNgemayou
hear.
Me:
"Wat
er?
"
Bul
elwa:
",
forwhat?"
Me:"t
oocooldown.Youar
eboi
li
ngt
oomuch"
Bul
elwa:
"youwomanIwi
..
..
"
"Si
we!"
Smi
sowal
kedi
ntheki
tchenwi
thhi
slapt
op.
Smi
so:
"Iwasl
ooki
ngatt
hisandIor
der
edi
t"
Me:
"whati
sit?
"
Smi
so:
"youwi
llseei
twheni
tar
ri
ves"
Inodded.
Bulelwa:
"thi
sisdi
srespect
ful
.Whatar
etheki
ds
saying!?
"
Smi
so:
"Canwet
alkl
ater
.Ineedt
ocal
lmybr
other
s.
"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Heper
ksmyl
ips.
Smi
so:
"Il
oveyou"
Ismi
led.
Me:
",
Il
oveyout
oo"
Hewal
kedof
f.Bul
elwacl
ickedhert
ongue.
Bul
elwa:
"Youwon'
twi
n"
Me:"Ithi
nkIdidsndbeyondwit
houtanyef
for
t.
Umdalafort
his(youareoldf
orthi
s)"
Icl
osedt
hepotandwentt
othesi
nk.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Nt
ambo:
"iam sur
ether
ewi
llbeol
dmen."
Kau:"iwi
llbr
ingmyfat
heralong.I
twi
llbej
ustt
he
t
hreeofusatthenegot
iat
ions"
Me:
"wher
eisyourmot
herf
ezi
le?"
Nt
ambo:
"Idon'
tknowt
heexactl
ocat
ion"
Ishookmyheadandl
aidbackont
hecouchandout
myf eetont
het
abl
e.
Nt
ambo:
"youwi
lldot
hatatyourhouse.If
uckkhen
ont
hatt
abl
e"
Ir
emovedmyl
egs.
Kau:
"Iputmyf
oodont
hatt
abl
e."
Ntambo:"Wel
iveal
onesowher
edoyouexpectus
t
odoi t?"
Me:
"evenont
hecouch?"
Nt
ambo:"No,notyet
.Sheisrunni
ngaway.
Mt
hombenii
stoomucht ohandlef
orher"
Wel
aughed.
Kau:"youar
edoi
ngi
tri
ght,
keepi
tup.Ei
shIam
cheat
ing"
Me:
"Ial
wayst
oldyout
oleavet
hatThabi
sa"
Ntambo:"weareaboutt
osett
ledownandyouar
e
chasi
ngskir
tsl
ikeaheadl
esschi
cken."
Kau:
"Iwi
lll
eaveThabi
saf
ort
hisone"
Me:
"doweknowher?"
Kau:
"Ihaveapi
ctur
eofher"
Het
ookouthi
sphone.Wet
ooki
tandl
ookedatt
he
gi
rl
.
Nt
ambo:
"Damn.Mywomani
sfi
ne"
Ihi
thi
m.
Me:
"thi
sisaver
ybi
gupgr
ade"
Nt
ambo:
"ver
y.Li
kef
rom SABCt
oNet
fl
ix"
Kau:
"whatdoyoumean?
"
Il
aughed
Nt
ambo:
"letmesayf
rom Tazzt
oLambor
ghi
ni"
Me:
"whoi
sat
azz?"
Nt
ambo:
"obvi
ousTr
isha"
Me:
"Thabi
sa"
Nt
ambo:
"i
t'
sst
il
lthesamel
ikeyourWi
nni
e"
Me:
"it
'sWendyandnotmywendy.
ihavenana"
Kau:
"backt
omyNet
fl
ix"
Nt
ambo:
"shel
ookswel
lof
f"
Kau:
"Shei
saDrandengaged"
Me:
"haveyoushaggedher?"
Kau:
"notyet
."
Ntambo:"j
ustgi
veup.Twodayswi t
hMywoman
t
hirddayMthombenigothersi
ngi
nglovesongs"
Me:"Iwaitedmont
hsonUnat
hiandt
hathasnever
happened."
Nt
ambo:
"mont
hs.?"
Kau:
"yoh!
"
Me:",shegotarr
est
edaft
erbir
thi
ngLethokuhl
esoI
hadtowaitforhert
ohealandthewai
twaswor th
causedamnsheshowedme"
Kau:"j
ustgivemesomet
imeandmywomanwi
ll
bejumpingonmybed"
Ntambo:
"that
'swhatIwantt
ohear
.Bet
ternotgo
backt
oTri
sha"
Ishookmyhead.
.
.
*
SESETHU*
Me:
"tomor
rowyouwi
llbegoi
nghome."
Ismil
edandtookmythingsandIwal kedoutofthe
ward.Myfeethur
tandIhavebeenf unnyaround
thewhol
eday.Igotomyof fi
ceandt akemyphone
andIgotamessagefrom Lukhanyo.
"
babeIwon'
tbeabl
etof
etchyou.Meet
ing"
Igr
oaned.
Me:
"myGod."
ItextedDrNtombel aandshesaidshewi
llgi
veme
wl i
ftbutwewillpasssomewhere.IfHejust
broughtmycarher ebef or
egoi
ngtohismeeti
ng.I
changedoutifmyscr ubsandIam lazyt
ocook
tonight.Ol
uhl
ewal kedin.
Ol
uhl
e:"l
et'
sgo"
Me:
"thankyou.Hedi
ditagai
n."
Ol
uhl
e:"
youshoul
djustdr
iveyour
sel
f"
Me:
"it
'sni
cet
obedr
iven"
Ipout
edandshel
aughed.Wewal
kedoutt
alki
ng
andgoti
nhercar
.
Oluhl
e:"canwepassatthi
schi
sanyamai
n
Thembisa.Theyhaveni
cemeat"
Me:"Ithi
nkIwi
llbuyaswel
lbecauseIam l
azyt
o
cooktoday"
Ol
uhl
e:"
it
's.Gr
eat"
Wet alkaboutgener alst
uffandat extfrom
LukhanyocomesandIi gnoreit
.Wegett o
Thembi sa.Wegett othechisanyamaandgood
thi
ngwear eabi tcasualaswell,thevibei snice
andt hewhol ecarwasht heme.Thel adieshere
envyusandt heguysl ookatus.Tr ustme, Iam no
betterbecauseIexchangedmysel ftobewher eIam
formoneyt ostudyandf ood.Everyt
hing.Icutof f
thatli
feaftergraduati
ng.Wef i
ndaseatandsi t
down.
Ol
uhl
e:"whatar
eyougonnabuy?"
Me:"adri
nkwoul
dbegoodnowandwhat
evermeat
youwil
lbuy"
Ol
uhl
e:"f
orhowmuch?"
Me:
"R200i
sfi
ne"
Ihaveherthemoneyandt
ookoutmyphoneand
shewalkedoff
.
Lukhanyo:
***
"'
BabyIam sor
ry*
*"
Me:
"**
*it
'sf
ine*
**"
Igotoffourchatwal
landManl
yscent
sinvadedmy
nostr
il
s.Ilookup.
Guy1:
"it
'sourl
uckydaywegett omeettheMrs,I
am Nt
amboalsoRopei nyourEngl
ishorFezi
le
si
nceyouarepartoft
hefamily"
Me:
"fami
ly"
Guy2:
"let
'sgo.Sor
ryf
ort
hat
.Youwi
llseeusbr
o"
Hi
m:"sur
eRazor"
Guy1:
"br
ingherat.
..
."
Guy2:
"asambe(
let
'sgo)
"
Hesatopposi
temeandsmi
l
ed.
Hi
m:"Skat"
Me:
"you'
ddon'
tbackof
f?"
It
il
tedmyhead.
Hi
m:"Iwast
aughtt
onevergi
veupt
il
lit
'syour
s"
Me:
"don'
tyouseet
his?"
Ir
aisedmyhand.
Hi
m:"i
t'
sjustanobst
acl
e.Ami
norone."
Il
ookedathim andhebithi
sbott
om li
pandhisone
dimpl
ecameoutt opl
ay.Hehadascaronhi
sother
cheekbutwasn'tscar
yatall
.
Hi
m:"Kau"
Me:
"mmh"
Kau:
"Seset
huwhy.
..
..
"
Me:
"howdoyouknowmyname?
"
Kau:
"Idi
dmyr
esear
ch."
Me:
"youst
alki
ngme?"
Het
ookouthi
sphoneandshowedmemy
I
nst
agr
am."
Me:
"oh.Wei
rd"
Mydr
inkcameandIt
hankedt
hewsi
ter
."
Me:
"wher
eist
heper
sonIcamewi
th?"
Wai
ter:
"shei
sst
il
linsi
de"
Me:
"oh"
Kau:
"br
ingyourdr
inkher
e"
Me:
"why?"
Kau:
"fr
iendsanddr
inksdon'
tmi
x.Letmet
ast
e"
Il
ethi
m beandhedi
d.
Kau:
"ifwedi
e..
."
Me:
"wewon'
tdi
e"
Idr
ankmydr
ink.
Kau:
"Iwi
llgetyou.Justsee"
Me:
"Iam j
ustgonnal
aughatt
hat
."
Kau:"soam IgonnagetyournumberorIam gonna
sweatfori
t?"
Me:
"sweat"
Hechuckl
edandtookmyphonefr
om t
het
abl
eand
t
ypedthenpl
aceditandst
oodup.
Kau:
"seeyouMr
sMokoena"
Me:
"Heeh"
Hesmil
edandwal
kedoff.Hi
ssmil
eissonice.
Makeshi
mlook.
..
.seset
hust
op.Ol
uhlecameback.
Ol
uhl
e:"mycar
ddi
dn'
twantt
oswi
pe.Hadt
ocal
l
myhusband"
Me:
"i
t'
ssor
ted?"
Ol
uhl
e:"
yep"
Inodded.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
40] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t33
TodayIam goi ngbackhomewi thoutAnele.He
didn'
twantt oleavehi sfat
hersoIl efthi
m with
razor,Ireal
lydidn' twanttoleavebutt omorrow
theyarecomi nghomesoIhavet ogohomeandbe
readyforeverything.Iam soexci tedandAsked
Andiswai fLethocancomeandshecancomeas
wellifshehasnot hingtodo.Shewasexci ted
mor ethanIwas.Wel lIhavetothankherf orthi
s
becausei ft
heydi dn'
tarrestmeIwoul dhavebeen
toomuchandnevermett hemanIl ovesomuch.
Themi nuteIpar kedmycaraf terwor kkhensani
l
ookedatme.Il aughandshej oinsin.
Khensani:
"Ihopeyourmot
herdoesn'
tki
llme."
Me:
"myst
epmot
herwoul
dn'
t"
Khensani:
"ohmyGod.Youhaveast
epmom "
Me:"wel
ltechnical
lydadl
ikesourhel
perandionce
f
oundthem kissi
ngandhet ol
dmehel i
kesher."
Khensani:
"ncooht
hat
'ssweetandgr
osswat
chi
ng
ol
dpeoplekiss"
Me:
"yest
heyar
eol
dbutf
resh,
comel
et'
sgo."
Wegotoutofthecarandwewentt otakeourbags.
Itwasevenhar
dt ogetKhensaniherewithNtambo
notwanti
ngtolethi
sboogobutIst olehere.Hewil
l
seewhathewilldo.Icl
osedtheboott aki
ngmy
smallbagandwemadeourwayi nside.
Me:
"Iam home!"
Ihadmyeyescl
osed.
"
Openyoureyeswena"
Iopenedthem andhuggedmyaunti
esandwewent
tounclesandthenwenttopl
aceourbagsand
Qamowasi nmyroom sl
eepi
ng.Ishookher.
Qamo:
"mmmh"
Me:
"whathappenedt
oyourr
oom ?"
Qamo:
"cal
lmewhenmyhusbandi
sher
e"
Me:
"youar
esl
eepi
ngover?"
Qamo:
"no. "
Me:
"thi
sisKhensani"
Qamo:
"Iwoul
dgi
veyouahugbutIam t
ir
ed"
Me:
"okcomel
et'
sgo"
Weworedoeksandwentdownthestai
rst
othe
st
udyandIknockedandf
ounddadinsi
de.
Me:
"hel
lodad"
Dad:
"Iwasn'
tthi
nki
ngyouwer
ecomi
ngback."
Me:
"Qamot
oldmeaboutmom so.
..
."
Hechuckl
ed.
Me:
"thi
sismyf
ri
endKhensani"
Shebowed.
Khensani:
"Sawubona(gr
eet
ings)
"
Dad:
"howar
eyoumychi
ld?
"
Khensani:
"Iam goodsi
randyour
sel
f.?
"
Dad:
"Iam good.Thankyouandcal
lmedad"
Shenodded.
Me:
"wewi
llseeyou"
Dad:
"Iwi
llcomeoutbef
oreyourmot
herhar
asses
mySi
we"
Me:
"ncoh.Iwi
llkeepal
ookout"
Henoddedandwewal
kedoutandwentt
othe
ki
tchen.
"
Unat
hiohmybabyi
sher
e"
Idon'
tthinkIwast
heonl
yonewhor
oll
edt
hei
reyes
i
nthekitchen.
Me:
"Ma"
Iwentt
oMaMt
hombeniandweshar
edahug
Ma:
"howar
eyou?Wemi
ssedyou."
Me:
"Imi
ssedhomet
oobutIam goi
ngt
omor
row"
Bul
elwa:
"youignor
emeandgot
oher
.Andwena
whoareyoul
ookingcheap?
"
Shesai
dtoKhensani
.
Me: "Idon'
tknowwhoi nvi
tedyoubutpl
easeturn
andwal koutoft
hatki
tchenandpackyourbags
becauseyouwon'trui
nanyoft hi
sformeBulelwa"
Bul
elwa:
"iam mom"
Me:
"wear
epastt
hatst
age"
Dad:
"what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
Me:"callmyfr
iendcheapandidon'tmi
nd
spendi
ngnight
si nj
ailf
oryou.NX"
Ma:
"Unat
hidon'
tsayt
hat"
Me:
"comeKhen"
Wewalkedof
f.Sheismakingmeangr
y,Idon'
t
wantt
oseeherfaceher
e.
.
.
*
MERCY*

EversinceThapel ohasbeenadmi t
tedIcouldn'tgo
home.Iwoul dsl eephereinthehospitalnexttohim
j
ustwai ti
ngf orhimt owakeupandhedi d.
nit
robenzenewasal sof oundinhisbloodtestsand
i
tissai dthatwithin12hour sofdi
gestingthepoison
hecoul dhavedi ed, Iwasscaredthathewoul dn't
wakeupandIwoul dhavelosthim.Iwi pemyt ear
s
Asheopenshi seyesandswal lowslookingatthe
cei
ling.
Me:
"Pel
o"
Igavehi
m somewat
ert
odr
inkandsatnextt
ohi
m
holdi
nghi
shand.
Me:
"it
'sok.Youar
esaf
enow.Youar
eok"
Tear
sstr
eam downhischeeksandi
tpai
nsmet
o
seehi
mliket
his.I
treal
lypai
nsme.
Me:"whenyougetbet
teryouwil
lgot
orehaband
getbet
tert
hent
akeyoutoschool
.Iam her
eok?I
am notl
eavi
ng"
Henodded.Iheldhi
mtomeandwebothcried
toget
her.Godwhyputhi
minsuchaposi
ti
on.Why
arepeopleevi
l?
.
.
*
SANDI
LE*

Kwando:
"Doesyourwi
feknowyouar
eher
e?"
Me:
"no,
andshedoesn'
tneedt
oknow"
Kwando:
"ok.Wewi
llt
alkl
ater
.Hear
dUnat
hii
s
get
ti
ngmarr
ied"
Me:
"shei
sback?"
Kwando:
"yeahshei
s"
Me:
"tr
oubl
e"
Kwando:
"Zamasaysshei
sgood"
Me:
"hopeso.Ihavet
ogo"
Kwando:
"shar
p"
HehangsupandIdr iveofft
otheaddressandI
stopi
nfrontoft
hehouseandgetoutoft hecarand
fi
xmyhoodi eandhat..ThewayMer cylookst hese
daysandseeingmywi fehur
t,hurt
sme.I fyouhurt
mywi f
eyouar ehur
ti
ngme.Iwal kedinsidethe
yardandIknockedonthedooranditopened.
Gi
rl:
"mamasomemani
satt
hedoor"
Shel
ookedatme,
Icoul
dheart
hebabycr
ies.
Gi
rl:
"hel
lo"
Ishovedherasi
deandwal
kedinsi
det
hehouse
pull
ingoutmygunandanoldwomancamefrom
t
heki
tchendr
oppedt
hepl
ateshewascar
ryi
ng.
Me:
"goshutt
hatbabyup"
Thegi
rlr
ant
othebedr
ooms.
Woman:
"whoar
eyou?"
Me:
"wor
stni
ghtmar
e"
Woman:
"Yeyigetout
!Youcr
imi
nal"
Me:"RememberThapel
owhent
hisbul
let
penet
rat
esyou"
Ishothertwi
ceandthegirlscr
eamedandIwentt
o
hersideandopenedthedoorandshewascryi
ng
holdi
ngthebaby.
Gir
l:"pl
easeIam knownothi
ng.Mamausedto
abuseThapel
oandshef or
cedustosl
eeptoget
her
.
Thisishi
sbaby"
Shesobbed.
Me:
"fuck!"
Shehel
dont
oherbaby.
Me:
"Ihopeyouar
etel
li
ngt
het
rut
h"
Gir
l:"Iam.Shewouldbuydrugsformeandhim
buthimthemostorsometi
mesf eedhi
m mor
e
thr
oughhisfoodandhewouldblackout
."
Me:
"howdi
dyousl
eepwi
theachot
her?"
Shebr
okedown"
Gir
l:"Iam theonl
ygi r
lchil
dfrom mymotherand
shedoesn'tli
kemyf ather
.Sheforcedusand
watcheduswi thabeltnexttoherandasjambok.I
f
wedon' tsl
eepwitheachothershewouldbeatus"
Me:
"come,
don'
ttel
lasoulaboutt
his"
Shenodded.Shest ooduptakingt henewbabyand
Ioutmygunawayandwewal kedout .Igotthem i
n
thecarcheckingt
hecoastandi twasquietinthe
str
eetbefor
eIgotinanddroveof f.Thebabykept
oncryi
ngatt hebackandshekepthushi ngher.
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Gi
rl:
"herdi
aper
sfi
nished"
Me:
"what
syourname?
"
Gi
rl:
"Bahumi"
Inodded.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Wehel pedwi tht hecooki ngofsupperatnightand

i
t'ssaidwewoul dn'tcooktomor rowbecause
Unat hi'
sf atherhiredcat eri
ngandt herewasatent
outside.Thi sisi mpor t
anttoUnat hisoverymuch
aswel l.Herdr essfort omorrowi swonderf
uland
shesai dshegotmeoneaswel l
it'
sexci
ti
ng.Weare
gonnasl eept ogetherbutf ornowshewentt oher
father.Thebedr oom dooropenedand
MaMt hombeniwal kedi n.Thewomanhasani ce
war m per sonal i
tyandf unnyt oo.
Ma:
"Idon'
tknowbutsomet
hingdr
awsmet
oyou"
Me:
"oh"
Ma:
"haveyoueat
en?"
Me:
"yesma"
Shenodded.
Ma:"ever
ythi
nghappensforar
easonbutyournew
l
oveispureandwon'
thurt"
Whatdoesshemean,
Unat
hidi
dtel
lmeshei
sa
seer
.
Ma:
"Youar
ebl
essed"
Me:
"real
ly?"
Shenodded.
Ma:"WhatIseei
st hatyouf
oundyourmat
ch.Your
bl
essi
ngwillber
eleased"
Me:
"thankyou"
Ma:
"Iwi
llseeyoul
ater
."
Me:
"thi
nkyou"
Shewal
kedout
.Myphoner
ang.Ianswer
edi
t.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
Nt
ambo:
"Amour"
Me:
"howar
eyou?"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam nothappy"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Nt
ambo:
"comeout
sideIwantt
oseeyou"
Me:
"Hai
bo"
Nt
ambo:
"come,
Imi
ssyou"
Me:
"youwi
llgetmei
ntr
oubl
e"
Nt
ambo:
"Icancomei
nsi
de"
Me:
"noIam comi
ng"
Ihungupandwor emyshoesbef oreIwal kedoutof
thebedroom andwentdownt hestairs.Ichecked
thecoastanditwasclear
.Iranfort hedoorand
downt hedri
veway.Lucki
lyt
hegat ewasopensoI
ranoutandsawhi scarandgotinsidet hecarand
hekissedme.
Me:
"yoh"
Nt
ambo:
"thewayyour
an"
Me:
"mxm "
Nt
ambo:
"Imi
ssedyou"
Me:
"justaf
ewhour
s"
Ntambo:
"wecoul
dbet
urni
ngourf
latupsi
dedown
atthemoment
.
Me:
"Iam gl
ad."
Hel
aidhi
sseatdown.
Nt
ambo:
"KhenIl
oveyou"
Ismiled.Thewayhesaysi t,i
t'
sli
kethef
ir
stt
imeI
am hearingit.Il
eanedi
ntokisshi
m andhepul
led
meint ohim andheldmybuttandwecarri
edon
ki
ssingandIl ai
dmyheadonhi m.
Me:
"Iam al
waysscar
ed"
Nt
ambo:
"don'
tbe."
Ir
emember
edwhatMaMt
hombenisai
d.
Me:
"Iwantt
oloveyou"
Nt
ambo:
"Loveme"
Hebithi
sbottom l
ip.
Ihel
donhi
m.Sof
arhehas
beenagreatboyf
ri
end.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Iam l
ayingonhi
schestandhehashi
sar
m ar
ound
mewhi l
ewewatchsomeTV.
Me:"babelookatt
hatcol
our,
itwoul
dbeni
ceat
ourweddi
ngI '
dweuseit"
Lukhanyo:
"mmh"
Isatupandl
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Real
ly?"
Lukhanyo:
"it
swor
kbaby"
Me:"canwejusthaveasecondwi
thoutwor
k
i
nter
fer
ing"
Lukhanyo:
"whenyouwor
kIdon'
tsayanyt
hing"
Me:
"Imaketi
me.Ever
yti
meIam f
reeIt
ryt
ospend
i
twi
thyou"
Lukhanyo:
"wel
lIam notf
ree."
Me:
"wow"
Igr
abbedhi
sphoneandhej
umped.
Me:
"youar
esl
eepi
ngwi
thyourPA?"
Lukhanyo:
"set
hu"
Ishookmyheadandthrewhisphoneathim and
ranupthest
air
s.Heranaft
erme.Ilockedt
hedoor
assoonasIgotinandhebangedoni t
.
Lukhanyo:
"babeIam sor
ry"
Isobbed.It
ookmyphoneanddi
aledt
henumber
.
Lukhanyo:
"seset
hu!
"
Bangbang
Lukhanyo:
"pl
easeopenupsowecoul
dtal
k"
Hekeptonbangi
ng.
Lukhanyo:
"babyIam sor
ry,
itwasonet
ime."
Si
ya:
"hel
lo"
Me:
"If
eelwor
thl
ess"
Si
ya:
"heywhat
'swr
ong?"
Me:
"youwer
eri
ght,
hei
scheat
ingonme"
Si
ya:
"ohbabe.Iam comi
ngt
ofet
chyou,
youcan'
t
st
aywi
thhi
m."
Me:
"thankyou"
Si
ya:
"Iam yourbestf
ri
end"
Me:
"thanks"
Shehungup.Sheal wayssaid,amannevermakes
toomanyexcusestobewi t
hhiswoman.WhenI
excusedmysel
fit
'sbecauseofworkorIam atwor
k.
Inevert
houghtofcheat
ingonhim ever.
.
.
*
SANDI
LE*

Wepassthetr
aff
ickl
ightandIlookatt
hebackand
t
heyarebot
hasleep.Itookoutmyphonehecall
ed
Mer
cy.
Mer
cy:
"baby"
Me:
"howi
she?
"
Mer
cy:
"hei
sget
ti
ngdi
schar
gedt
omor
row"
Me:
"that
'sgood"
Mer
cy:
"ver
y"
Me:
"li
stenbabe.Wehaveapr
obl
em "
Mer
cy:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Me:
"Thapel
ohasababy"
Mer
cy:
"what?"
Me:"him andt
hebabymamawer
efor
cedt
osl
eep
t
ogether"
Mer
cy:
"whatam Igoi
ngt
odoaboutt
his?
"
Me:
"wewi
llhavet
otaket
hem i
n"
Mer
cy:
"that
'sal
otSandi
le"
Me:
"Iwi
llhandl
eit
.Justl
etmebe"
Mer
cy:
"babear
eyousur
e?"
Me:
"Iam.Iknowi
fitwasmeyouwoul
dhavedone
t
hesame"
Shesni
ff
ed.
Me:
"Don'
tcr
y"
Mer
cy:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Ihungupandl
ookedatt
hem.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
41] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t34

*
RAZOR*

Me:
"howar
eyou?"
Unat
hi:
"ner
vousandf
rust
rat
edbymom "
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Shesi
ghed.
Unat
hi:
"Imi
ssyou"
Il
eanbyt
hewal
lout
sidet
hehouse.
Me:
"Imi
ssyout
oo.Somuch"
Unat
hi:
"Ihavet
ocomebackwi
thabang"
Me:
"aver
ybi
gone"
Wel
aughed.
Me:
"can'
twai
tfort
omor
row"
Unat
hi:
"met
oo.Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyoumor
e"
Unat
hi:
"thankyouf
orl
ovi
ngme"
Me:
"Ishoul
dbet
heonewhoi
sthankf
ul"
Unat
hi:
"Ihavet
ogol
ove.Bye"
Me:
"bye"
ShehungupandIsi
ghed.Iwal
kedi
nsi
det
he
house.
Kau:
"wher
eisNt
ambo?"
Me:
"idon'
tknow"
Kau:
"lecher
rydl
alahar
dtoget(t
hisgi
rli
spl
ayi
ng
har
dtoget,
)"
Me:
"Thabi
sa?"
Kau:
"shenagsmeaboutyout
il
lIl
eft
"
Me:
"whataboutme?"
Kau:
"Wendy"
Me:
"Mxm"
Kau:
"Il
ivewi
thWendyt
hisandWendyt
hat"
Me:
"youshoul
dcutherof
f"
Kau:
"Iwi
ll
."
Hel
aidbackont
hecouch.Anel
erest
edearl
y
t
oni
ghtandwant
edtobereadyfort
omorr
ow.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Ipackedmybagsandaf tert
hatIsatonthebed.He
keptonknockingandsaidhewouldn'
tleavet
he
doorunti
lIopen.Ijusti
gnor
edhim.Hedoesn' t
valuemethatmucht hen.Ihear
dsomeonecalli
ng
mynameandIopenedt hedoorandhewasn'tther
e.
ItookmysuitcasesbagsandIwalkeddownthe
stair
sanditwasSiyamthandaandherhusband.
Lukhanyo:
"thi
sisbusi
nessbet
weenMeandny
fi
ance."
It
ookof
fther
ing.
Me:
"puti
tonyourpa"
Ayandat
ookmybags.
Lukhanyo:
"babydon'
tleavemepl
ease"
Me:
"LukhanyoIneedt
ogo"
I
t'
shar
dbecauseIl
ovehi
m.
Si
ya:
"let
'sgo"
It
ookmybagandwewal kedout
.Igoti
nmycar
wi
t hherandshedr
ovet
oherhouse.I
twasver
y
si
lenti
nsidet
hecar.
Si
ya:
"Iwi
shIwaswr
ong"
Met oo.Il
ookedoutoft
hewindow.Wegott
oher
houseandgotoutandwalkedi
nside.
Si
ya:
"needsomet
hingt
oeat?
"
Me:
"noIam good.Ij
ustneedt
orest"
Shenodded.Sheshowedmear
oom andi
thadmy
bags.
Me:
"Iwi
lll
eavet
omor
row"
Si
ya:
"nost
ayunt
ilyouar
egood"
Me:
"Imademydeci
sion.Thankyou"
Shenodded.
Si
ya:
"cal
lmei
fyouneedanyt
hing"
Inoddedandshewal kedout.Icl
osedthedoorand
l
ockedbef oreIsatonthebedcryi
ng.Iwishtocal
l
hi
m buthehur tme.Itookmyphoneandscr oll
ed
downt ohisnameandi tst
oppedathisname.I
presseditanditr
angaf ewti
mesbeforeItwas
answered.
Hi
m:"Hel
lo"
Me:
"Hi,
it'
sSeset
hu"
Ihungup.Whatar
eyoudoing?Isi
ghedandtook
offmyclot
hesandgoti
nbed.Myphonerang.
Me:
"Hi"
Hi
m:"Skat"
Ibl
ushed.
Kau:
"Iwai
ted"
Me:"Ididn'
tknowIhadyourphonenumberandI
am engaged"
Kau:
"It
oldyoui
t'
sasmal
lobst
acl
e"
Me:
"oh,
Ijustcal
led"
Kau:
"Iam gl
adyoudi
d"
Me:
"whenwi
llIseeyou?"
If
eltl
i
kebashi
ngmysel
f.Hechuckl
ed.
Kau:
"whendoyouwantt
oseeme?"
Ne:
"idon'
tknow"
Kau:
"Iwi
llcal
lyou"
Me:
"ok"
Hehungupandt
henaf
ewmi
nut
esl
aterhevi
deo
cal
ledme.
Kau:
"Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"thankyou"
Kau:
"wher
eishubby?"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
otal
kaboutt
hat"
Henodded.Goddamnhei shandsome, real
ly
handsomedef i
nit
ionofhot.Helickedhisli
psand
hisdi
mpl eappear
ed.Imelted.Hewasi nacarby
thebackground
Kau:
"whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatmel
iket
hat?"
Me:
"youar
emaki
ngagi
rlwet"
Hechuckl
ed.
Me:
'Iam bei
nghonest"
Kau:
"Letmesee"
Me:
"what?"
Kau:
"howwetyouar
e"
Il
aidonmybackandf i
xedmypil
lowandthen
movedthephonedownasItookoffmyunder
wear
andopenedmylegs.
Kau:
"damn,
touchyour
sel
fforme"
Iposi
ti
onedmyphoneonthedr
esserandchanged
posi
ti
ons.It
ouchedmyboobsandsqueezedthem.
Kau:
"Nowcl
oseyoureyes"
Icl
osedmyeyes.
Kau:
"imagi
nemyf
ace"
Idi
dimagi
nehi
m.
Kau:
"ki
ssi
ngyousof
tl
y,car
essi
ngyoucar
eful
ly"
Icoul
dimagi
nehi
m.Mybr
eat
hingescal
ated.
Kau:"moveyourfi
nger
ssl
owl
ythr
oughyourbody
asIkissyouandgodownt
oyourVi
rgi
naandsli
pin
yourfi
ngers"
Idi
dthat
.
Kau:
"thr
ustsl
owl
ytot
hesoundofmyvoi
ce."
Me:
"ah!"
Ikeptont
hrust
ingandt
hepl
easur
ekeptonki
cki
ng.
Kau:
"fuckyouar
edoi
ngagoodj
ob."
Ikeptonbl
essi
ngmysel
f.
Me:
"AhKauiam cummi
ng"
Kau:
"shi
t!cum f
orme"
Ibi
tmyl
ipandcame.Ibr
eat
hedi
nandoutand
hear
dhi
m gr
oan.
Kau:
"fuckset
hu"
Iopenedmyeyesandhewashel
pinghi
msel
fand
hecameaft
er.
Kau:
"shi
t!"
.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

IwokeupwithLesedinextt
ome.Il ookedar
ound
andIwasinthi
sbigroom.Ithoughtmamawoul d
comeinandsplashwaterovermeandLesedi.I
pul
ledhercl
osetomeandt herewasaknockont he
doorandabeauti
fulwomanwal kedi
n.Itwasnoon
l
ookingbyhowfarthesunhascameout .She
smi
ledandr
eal
lyi
sbeaut
if
ul.
Her:
"Bahumir
ight?"
Inodded.
Her:
"iam Mer
cy.Thapel
oImybr
other
"
Inodded.
Her:
"canIt
akeher?"
Il
ookedatmybabyandher
.
Her:
"don'
twor
ryyouar
esaf
e"
Inoddedandshet
ookLesedi.
Her:
"youcangoandbat
h"
Inoddedandst oodupandmadet hebedbefore
goingtobath.Igotchangingclothesandwalked
outoft hebedroom.Itri
edt of
indmywayandIdi d.
Igotdownt hest ai
rsandIfoundThapelosit
ti
ngon
thecouchwi thablanketoverhim andIst
oppedmy
tracks.Myhear twasbeatingfast.

_
__(
fl
ashback)
___
Me:"r
unawayThapel
o.Ourbabycan'
tgr
owup
knowi
ngyouar
edead"
Thapel
o:"Whydoesshehat
eme?"
Me:
"thi
nkabouti
t."
Iwi
oedmyt ear
s.Hel ai
dhi
sheadonmeandIf ed
hi
m myfood.Hel ooksweak.Yesmom mi
str
eats
measwellbutIgetfedandhedoesn'
t.
Me:
"Shh"
Wewer eatt
hebackyardoutsidet
hehouseatni
ght
.
Itwasjustaft
ersupperandshechasedhim out
sinceaweekago.Hi sfatherdoesnot
hingandI
thinkshehasahandi nit
.
Thapel
o:"Iam gonnadi
eHumi"
Me:"(cryi
ng)don'
tsayt
hat
.Lesedineedsyou.We
needyou"
Hecloseshi
seyessl
owl
yandIki
sshi
sfor
ehead
andholdhi
m cl
osetome.
_
___
___
Iwipedmyt
ear
sandhet
urnedhi
sheadandI
tur
ned.
Thapel
o:"Bahumi"
Ikeptquiet
.Hestoodupandcametomeli
mping
andi wenttohi
m andhuggedhi
m.Webot
hcri
ed.
Me:
"youar
eok"
Thapel
o:"Ial
mostdi
ed"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Webr
oket
hehug.
Me:
"wher
eisLesedi?"
Thapel
o:"Isawmysist
erandherhusbandwal
kout
wit
hababy.Ithi
nkt
heylef
twit
hher"
Hewi
pesmyt
ear
s.
Me:
"Iam scar
ed"
Thapel
o:"wewi
llbeok.Wear
esaf
e"
Inoddedandhehuggedmeandhushedme.
Thapel
o:"i
t'
sok"
Inodded.Iam gl
adhei
sok.
.
.
.

*
SESETHU*

Siyamthandawokemeupi nthemor ni
ngandsai d
wear egoi ngsomewher et orel
ieveourmi nds.
Apparentlyisl obolanegot i
ati
onsf orherCousin'
s
husband'sexwi fewhot heyshareababywi t
hand
theywer einvited.MaybeIshoul dgoandcl earmy
mi ndsinceIam onl eave.Igotdr essedina
tradi
ti
onaldr esst hatIfoundinmysui t
caseandI
l
ookedwonder fulaswel l.Makeupdoneandmy
hairti
edni cely.Lukhanyohasbeencal l
ingandI
am ignoringhi scalls.
Siya:
"comebabesl
et'
sgo,
maybeyouwi
llscor
e
yoursel
faman"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"maybe"
Icouldn'
tstopthi
nki
ngaboutwhatwentdownl ast
nightwit
hmeandkau.If indmyselfbei
ngshyand
embar r
assed.IhopeIdon'tbumpint
ohim soon.
Wewal kedoutandsaidgoodbyest oAyandaandI
l
oadedmybagsi nmycar .Iwil
lgotoahotelaf
ter
andf i
ndapl acet
omovei ntoo..
.
.

*
UNATHI*

Wewokeupni ceandear l
yandIcal l
edrazorand
wechat t
edabi twiththeboysaswel l
.Iam ver
y
excit
edaboutal lofthi
sandnothingcanki l
lmyj oy
atthi
smoment .Iwentt obathandgotdr essedwith
Khensaniandshel ookedwonderful.Fezi
lewil
l
defi
nitel
yputar ingont hi
ssoonIt el
lyou.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
41] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t35

Khensani:
"Dr
inksomewat
er."
Qamo:
"br
eat
h"
Ma:
"doyouwantmet
ost
aywi
thyou?"
Inoddedandshesatnextt
omeandhuggedme.
TherewasaknockonthedoorandQamowentt
o
open.
Zama:
"Sani
bonani(hel
lo)
"
Wegr
eet
edandt
heywal
kedi
n.
Andi
swa:
"howar
eyou?"
Me:
"iam ner
vous"
Ma:
"shehasbeenvomi
ti
ngsi
ncemor
ning"
Andi
swa:"sor
ryf
orbeingrudeMa.That
'sSeset
hu
andmycousinSi
yamthanda"
Them :
"hel
lo"
Ma:"youareal
lbeaut
if
ul.Youmi
ghtt
akeUnat
hi'
s
husband"
Me:
"Iwoul
ddi
e"
Theyl
aughedandsatdown.
Ma:
"sowear
ejustgonnasi
ther
e?"
"Madlokovu, Ntusiyenkomo,Wenawasengweni ,
Mngadi ,Nene, St
henjwa,Muji,
Sabel'uyabizwa
enkonjeni,ubizwaabamhl opheukuzokhuluma
ngomhl abathiwakinikamalandel
a,!"
Khensani:
"itsoundsl
iket
heyar
einsi
de"
Me:
"Ineedt
ovomi
t"
Ir
antot hebathr
oom andMahwasbehindme.
Khensanihandedwatert
omeandIdranksome.
Ma:
"comedon'
tst
ress"
Me:
"Ihopet
heydon'
trui
nthi
sforme"
Ma:
"wewon'
tlett
hathappen"
Ist
oodupandf
lushedt
het
oil
et
Khensani:
"cal
m down"
Inoddedandt henIwentt
obr
ushmyt
eet
handt
hen
wewal kedbackout.
Andi
swa:
"ever
ythi
ngwi
llgowel
l"
Zama:
"yeahdon'
twor
ry"
Me:
"Il
ovehi
m Fr
iend"
Khensani:
"andhel
ovesyou"
Sesethu:
"Yeahifhehasn'
tdonet
heshi
tmi
nedi
d
thendon'
tst
ress"
Weal
llookather
.
Seset
hu:
"okweneedwi
nef
ort
his.Sor
rymah"
Ma:
"Qamogetsomewi
newear
edr
inki
ng"
Qamo:
"yes.Cool
estmom "
Shetooki
tfr
om undermypi
l
lowandanot
heras
wel
l.
Andi
swa:
"thi
sisnotf
air
."
Me:
"Ei
sh."
Qamo:
"youdon'
tdr
ink?"
Andi
swa:
"Iam pr
egnant"
Qamo:"Iwil
lgogetsomenonal
cohol
icwi
ne.I
t
hinkIhave"
ShegotupandSeset
huopenedt
hebot
tl
e.
Ma:
"Thegl
assesar
enother
e"
Wel
aughed.
Si
ya:
"Thi
siswei
rdatt
hesamet
ime"
Me:
"Yeahi
tis"
Qamocamebackr
ushi
nghol
dingaboxandwi
ne
ont
op.
Khensani:
"youevenboughtgl
asses?
"
Qamo:
"yes"
Weopenedthebot
tl
esandt
oldAndiswat
ohol
d
her
'scl
ose.Wepour
edanddrank.
Ma:
"Iam st
art
ing"
Wenodded,
thi
swi
l
lbever
yint
erest
ing.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Thesel
adiesar
etaki
ngmebacktoever
ythi
ng.I
washol
dingmyownwi negl
ass.
Me:"I
twasyearsback.Over30Year
sagoImeta
man.Youknowwhenyoumeetamanandhei s
ni
ceandgenui
nebuttherewerewhatyoucal
lthese
fl
agst
hesedays"
Seset
hu:
"redf
lags"
Ma: "yes.I nourear lyrelat
ionshiphehadanger
i
ssuesi fImaysay, wouldsayt hingst hatputme
downver ball
yabusedmebutIwasbl i
ndedbyl ove.
Ilovedhimt i
llwegotmar ri
edandhadourown
chil
d.Hest ar t
edt obeokaf teroursonwasbor n,
ast i
megr ewt hingsgotwor sewhenIt houghtt hey
wer egettingok.Hest art
edcheat ingandbeat ing
meupaswel lbutinhischeat inghegotHI V,back
thenwewer enotwel li
nformedwi thitsohedi ed
from it.Onet hingIam gr atefulforatt hismoment
i
st hatwhenhecheat edheseemeddi sgustedofme.
IcouldhaveHI Vaswel landdi edf rom itifheslept
wi
thme."
Si
ya:
"nowi
t'
sjustyouandyourson"
Me: "Iwasasi ngleparenttoaboyanditwashar d
i
nt hesit
uati
onwel i
vedin.Icouldn'
ttur
nhome
becauseourhousewasbur ntdownwhenwewer e
youngandmymot herhelpedmeandmysi ster
escapethrought hesmallwindowandsoasour
l
itt
lebabybrotherandwer anoffastherestburnt
.
Mysongr ewi ntoalif
eofcr ime.Soheisinpr i
son"
Ther
ewassi
lence.
Qamo:
"that
'shect
ic."
Si
ya:
"mi
neseemspet
ty"
Me:
"Not
hingi
spet
ty"
Khensani:"Ir
anawayfrom homewi thhi m.He
promisedmet hewor
ldandt hingsathomewer enot
ok.EvenifIst
ayedIwouldn'thavesurvived.We
cameher eandthi
ngschanged.Heabusedme
eachandeverychancehegot .Thenei ghbour
wouldreportt
ohim.Iwant edtodobet terandtr
ied
mybestbuthewi l
lal
waysbeatmesayi ngIam
ungr
atef
ul.Iendur
edi
tasmydai
lypai
n"
Shewi
pedhert
ear
s.
Siya: "Hewassweet .Iwaschar medbyhi sgr een
eyes.Wef ellf
oreachot her,Iwasst i
lli
nvar sit
y
andwehadapr ogr
am wewer esupposedt o
attend.Seset huwar nedmeaboutr edflagsandI
i
gnor edt hem.Hedi dn'tl
iket
hewayIdr essedat
ti
mesandst artedbeingcontroll
ing.Thedayhebest
me, Ididn'texpectit.Ialmostdiedandhel eftme
thereaf terbeatingme.I fIdi
dn'tcal
lmyhusbandI
thinkIwoul dhavedi ed.Hereall
yismysavi ng
grace"
Unathi:
"HewasmyBest fri
end.Myf irsteverf
ri
end.
Wewentt ohighschoolt ogetherandhewoul d
prot
ectmef r
om bul l
ying.Iwasn'tthi
sthinwhil
e
growingup.Ifel
lforhimt hewayhewasandwhenI
was21, onmybi rthday.Itwast hedayhebur ntto
deathbymymot her"
Icr
ingedandtear
sescapedhereyesandQamo
huggedher.Ther
ewassilence.
Andi
swa:"myf
ir
steverboyf
ri
end,
Hewasso
wonderful,wemetatwor k.Iwasacl eanerback
thenandhewasanowner.Hegavemeal if
tthe
fi
rstti
mewemet .Iaskedhimi fheismar r
iedand
hedenieditandwhenIwasdeepf orhim Ifi
ndout
hewasmar r
ied.Webr okeupl i
ttl
edidIknowIwas
pregnant,nowwear emar ri
ed"
Sesethu:"allofyourstori
esit'
sli
keminecombi ned.
SiyamthandaknowsIwoul ddisappeardaysand
weeks.mymot herisadr unkenwhodoesn'tknow
whatgoesoni nmyl i
feorwhatIwoul deatnextso
agirlhustl
edt i
llIam whoIam.Ever yt
imeIget
beatenIwoul dalwayst hi
nkofhomeandwhatI
wantandgof orthefuture"
Me:
"youar
eal
lyoungf
ort
his"
Si
ya:
"Ithi
nkIspeakforever
yonewhenIsaynow
i
t'
swort
hitbecausewehavefoundourmatches.
Menwholoveusself
lessl
y"
Seset
hu:
"countmeout"
Me:
"youhavef
oundyour
s"
Wedr
ankourwi
ne.
Me:
"nowbedr
oom t
alk"
Andi
swa:
"It
hinkIhavet
opee"
Si
ya:
"Ihaven'
tcal
ledmyhusband"
Seset
hu:
"It
hinkIwi
llst
ickt
othewi
ne"
Me:
"khensani
"
Khensani:
"Iam goi
ngt
ohel
puhm"
Wehear
dul
ulat
ing.Unat
hisatup.
Me:
",ever
ythi
ngwentwel
l"
Shecr
iedandhuggedme.
Me:
"don'
tcr
y"
Unat
hi:
"Iam happy"
.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Iwasi
nthecarwi
thAnel
ejustout
side,
Iam
nervousandscar
edaswell
..Ihopeeveryt
hing
goeswell,myphoner
ingsandit
'sUnathi.
Unat
hi:
"Ngomane"
Me:
"nana"
Unat
hi:
"Iwantt
oseeyou"
Me:
"youwi
ll"
"Unat
hi!
"
Unat
hi:
"Ihavet
ogo.Iwi
llt
alkt
oyoul
ater"
Me:
"sur
ebaby"
Theguyscameoutt
ofi
xingt
hemsel
ves.
igotout
.
Nt
ambo:
"ever
ythi
ngwentwel
l"
Me:
"Sur
eboy"
Webr
ohugged.
Me:"t
hankyousomuch"
Kau:"wegotyourbacksandl
ooksl
iket
heywental
l
out"
Nt
ambo:
"wher
eisAxe?
"
Me:
"onherway.,
Comeboy"
Anel
egotout"
Kau:
"Ishoul
dearasui
tmor
eof
ten"
Hesai
drunninghi
sfi
nger
sonMar
oonsui
tand
f
ixi
nghi
stie.
Nt
ambo:
"youknow.I
t'
sasi
gn"
Me:
"of?"
Kau:
"thatweshoul
dgetmar
ri
ed"
Me:
"pl
ease.Thabi
sawi
lldr
iveyoucr
azy"
Kau:
"mxm"
Wel ockedthecarsandmadeourwayi nside.Kau
reall
ypull
edthroughformewithhi
sf at
herand
uncle.Thisismyguyf or
ever
.Wewer eledtoa
nicel
ydecoratedstr
etcht
entandIgreeted.
MrNgena:
"Iwi
llki
llyoui
fshecr
ies"
Me:
'
"shewon'
t"
Themenconver
sat
ewhil
ewedidthesameandI
sawmywomanbyt hesl
idi
ngdoor
.Shel
ooks
amazing.Shestar
tedwalkingouthol
dingat
ray
fol
lowedbyotherwoment oobutmyeyeswereon
her.Shecameandkneelednexttome.
Unat
hi:
"Mshi
ka"
Ihear
dul
ulat
ing.
Me:
"thankyou"
Shenoddednotl
ooki
ngatmet
henshegotupand
wal
kedoff.
Nt
ambo:
"ser
vedbymywoman.Mmmh"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ipasIl
ookedather
.
Me:
"Ineedt
hebat
hroom "
Ist
oodupandwalkedinsi
dethehouseandsawa
womanwholookedavail
able.
Me:
"sor
rymaIam l
ooki
ngf
orabat
hroom "
Shet
urnedanddr
oppedt
hegl
ass.
Me:
"Mamkhul
u"
Shehuggedme,
Ihuggedherback
Mamkhul
u:ohMnt
akasi
si.(Mysi
ster
'schi
ld.)Oh
Li
ndani"
Thiswasshocki
ngandquest
ionsr
oamedi
nmy
head.
Shegotof
fandwi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Mamkhul
u:"youar
ebackhome.Whatar
eyou
doi
ngher
e?Howi smysonint
her
e?"
Me:"yes,Icameoutyear
sagoMamkhul u.Iam
her
eforUnathi,
Ipai
dlobol
aforher.Fezi
lei
sok,
hecameoutweeksago.Hei sher
e"
Shecr
iedandIhel
dher
.Peopl
ewer
ewat
chi
ngus.
Mamkhul
u:"t
akemet
ohi
m."
Shewasshaking.Inodded,Iam st
il
lshocked.We
walkedout
sideandntambowasmaki ngjokesas
al
waysandt hemenwer el
aughi
ng.Shewas
shakingmore
MrNgema:
"Si
wear
eyouok?
"
Mamkhul
u:"Fezi
le"
Ntambost
oppedl
aughi
ngandt
urnedt
ous.He
st
oodup.
Nt
ambo:
"O'
l
ady"
Sherushedi
ntohi
sar
msandt
heyhugged.Shekept
ontouchi
nghim.
Mamkhul
u:"youar
eher
e.Myonl
ychi
ld"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sor
rymah"
Hewasemotionalaswell
.Theybrokethehugand
shel
ookedathim andkeptoncr
ying.
MrNgema:
"what
'sgoi
ngonher
e"
Shewasshaki
ng.Shehel
dherchest
Me:
"wat
er"
shefaint
edandNtamboheldherqui
ckl
ybeforeshe
hitt
heground.MrNgemarushedtoherandIdidas
well
.Itwasamess.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Thatembar
rassi
ngmomentwhenIsawKau.I
turnedbackwi t
ht hefoodandgaveitto
Siyamt handaandshewentt oser
vet hem.Drama
happenedandMaf ai
nted.Wewerewat chi
ngas
theytookherinsidethehouse.Khensanirushedof
f
aswel ltocomfortherman.
Unat
hi'
smom :
"yest
hat
'sf
orl
ovi
ngol
dhags"
I
sn'
tsheol
dfort
his?"
Si
ya:
"It
hinkweshoul
dst
ayabi
t"
Andi
swa:
"Nt
ethel
eloi
scomi
ngt
ofet
chme.Iam
t
ir
ed"
Me:
"ok"
Wewereeati
ngatt
hedini
ngr
oom.Theywal kedout
al
loft
hem andMahseemedbet
terweallstoodup
andwentt
ohughershameandshegiggled.
Ma:
"Iam ok"
Zama:
"wewer
ejustwor
ri
ed"
Ma:
"thi
sismyson"
Shel
ookedt
ear
ysmi
li
ng.
Me:
"Rope!"
Icl
osedmymout
h.
Nt
ambo:
"oht
hesi
steri
nlaw"
Ma:
"Iam conf
usedandwon'
task"
Andi
swa:
"wemadef
oodf
oryou"
Ma:
"thankyou"
Unat
hi'
sdad:
"wi
llyoubeok?"
Shenoddedhet
ookherhandandt
heywal
kedof
f.
Nt
ambo:
"am Imi
ssi
ngsomet
hing?
"
Unathi:
"Qamothisi
sMyl i
ndani
'scousin.
Khensani'
sbooandIguessourstepbrother"
Guys:
"what?"
Nt
ambo:
"ohhel
lnawt
hatai
n'
thappeni
ng"
Hewasr
eadyt
ofol
lowt
hem.Unat
hist
oppedhi
m."
Khensani:
"cal
m down"
Het
ookherhandandwal
kedof
f.
Unat
hi:
"yourcousi
nhasdr
ama"
Theywal
kedof
f.
Me:
"Ineedt
ofr
eshenup"
Iwal
kedof
f.
"
Sor
ry"
Ist
oppedmyt
rackshest
oodI
nfr
ontofme.
Guy:
"Icoul
dn'
thel
pmysel
f"
Me:
"Iam notavai
labl
e"
Guy:"Iam r
eadyforachal
lenge,
Ihaveal
ways
seenyouonInst
agram "
Igavehi
m al
ook.Iam notani
nfl
uenceroranyt
hing.
Me:
"uhm.
..
"
Guy:
"youar
ebeaut
if
uli
nper
son"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Someonehel
dmywai standt
hescenthi
tmy
nost
ri
lsandasof
tki
sswasonmyneck.
"
Ihavebeenl
ooki
ngf
oryouskat"
Iswal
lowed.
Guy:
"youar
etoget
her?"
Kau:
"yes,
come"
Me:
"I.
.I
..
"
Il
ostwor
ds.
Me:
"Ineedt
ofr
eshenup"
Kau:
"Iwi
llaccompanyyou"
Guy:
"overpr
otect
ivemuch"
Kau:
"shei
smydi
amondcome"
Hepul
ledmeaway.
Kau:
"rel
ax"
Ibr
eat
hedout.Wegottot
hebat
hroom andhegot
i
nandlockedthedoor
.
Me:
"uhm .
..
."
Kau:
"lastni
ghtIcoul
dn'
tst
opt
hinki
ngaboutyou"
Me:
"itwasami
stake"
Imovedf
rom hi
m andhesatonthet
oil
etseatasI
fi
xedmyhai
r.Istol
egl
ancesofhimfr
om themirr
or.
Damnthi
sguy.
Kau:
"Youl
ookamazi
ngskat
"
Me:
"thankyou"
Il
ookedathi
sjunkandi
t'
spr
int
edt
her
e.Ibi
tmy
bot
tom l
ip
Me:
"canyougetout"
Kau:
"why?"
Me:
"Iam notcomf
ort
abl
ewi
thyouher
e"
Kau:
"youknow.
..
"
Hestoodupandcamet owar
dsmeandhel
dme
f
rom behi
nd.Icoul
dfeeli
t.
Kau:
"Iwi
shedyouwer
einmyar
msyest
erday"
Heki
ssedmyneck.
Kau:
"imagi
nemedoi
ngal
lthatyoudi
dlastni
ght
andmore"
Me:
"mmmh"
Icl
osedmyeyesasshi
ver
swentdownmyspi
ne.
Heunzippedmydr
ess.
Kau:
"Iwi
llgent
lyl
oveyou"
I
twentdownt
omykneesandheki
ssedmy
shoul
dersandheldmybr
east
scaressi
ngmeso
wonderf
ull
ymakingmemorewet.
Kau:
"fuck!"
Me:
"mmmh"
Kau:
"Iwi
llsnat
chyoufrom hi
m andr
epl
acet
hat
ri
ngwi
thapermanentsurname"
Me:
"whatsur
name?"
Kau:
"Mokoena"
Hi
shandst
rai
ltomybel
lyandhewr
appedhi
sar
ms.
Kau:
"imagi
nemeandyouasIr
ubyourswol
len
st
omach"
Thi
simage.Iopenedmyeyesandl
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"st
opIam dr
ippi
ng"
Hecrouchedandtookof fmyladyunderwear.I
l
ookeddownonhi m andheputi tinhispocket
.He
ki
ssedmybut tandli
ft
edmyonel egandslippedi
n
hi
sfinger
sbeforepull
ingoutandlickedit
.
Kau:
"yout
ast
eamazi
ng"
Me:
"wear
einahousef
ullof
fel
der
s"
Kau:
"that
'st
hef
unskat"
Histonguecamei ncontactwit
hmyVirgi
naandI
moanedhol dingmymout h.Ihel
donthesi
nk.He
thrustedandgr indedbit
tingmykitt
ensof
tl
yandit
drovemecr azy.Therewasaknockont hedoorbut
hedi dn'
tstop.
Si
ya:
"Set
huar
eyouoki
nther
e?"
Me:
"yes"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ip.
Si
ya:
"Lukhanyocal
led.Ar
eyougoi
ngwi
thmeor?
"
Kau:
"(whi
sper)youar
eleavi
ngwi
thme"
Me:
"Iam not"
Kau:
"wantt
obet"
Hewentback.
Me:
"no!"
Thi
sguy.
Si
ya:
"ok.Iwi
llbegoi
ngsoon."
Heputi
nhi
sfi
ngergoi
ngdeep.
Me:
"iwi
llgetacab"
Si
ya:
"cal
lme"
Me:
"ok"
Ihear
dfoot
stepsf
adi
ng.
Kau:
"goodgi
rl"
Me:
"Iam cummi
ng"
Hel
etmecum andIbr
eat
hedout
.
Kau:
"ther
eisal
otwher
ethatcamef
rom "
Me:
"ishoul
dn'
tbedoi
ngt
his"
Kau:"Iwol
dhavehadyouont
hesi
nkbutIwant
youonmine"
Hecleanedmeupwi that owelandwef i
xed
our
selvesandIgotdr essedhedi dn'
tgivemeback
myunder wear
Thismant hough.Hekissesmyl i
ps
andGoddamnt heyaresof tandappet
izingaswell
.
Heheldmywai standt hesqueezedmybut t,
I
moanedandhebr okeit.
Kau:
"onceIt
api
t.Youar
emi
nef
orever"
Me:
"andIwoul
dletyou"
Kau:"wewi
llseet
oni
ght"
HekissedmeandIki
ssedhi
m back.DamnIam
get
ti
ngwet.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

IGott
oeatandtheycamebackwithLesediandI
wasworr
ied.Theygotusst
uffaswel
landIcr i
ed.
Mercy:"youwi
llstar
tschoolnextt
erm.Thebot
hof
you.Iwil
lst
aywithLesedi.
"
Sandi
le:
"tomorrowIam taki
ngyout
otheDrf
ora
thr
ee-
yearcont
racept
ive."
Mer
cy:
"wewantA'
sandB'
s"
Wenodded.
Mer
cy:
"whatgr
adewi
llyoubedoi
ngBahumi
?"
Sandi
le:
"gr
ade9wi
thThapel
o"
Wenodded.
Mer
cy:
"wear
egoi
ngt
ofet
chmyki
dsbehave"
Thapel
o:"
Yes"
Theystoodupandt ookt
heirbagsandkeysand
walkedout.Iam sograt
eful
.Lesediwasasl
eepin
myar ms.
Me:
"letmeputherdown"
Thapel
o:"br
ingherher
e"
Igavehertohi
m andwewal kedupthest
air
sand
wegotintheroom Iwi
llbeusingandi
thasali
tt
le
bedforher
.Heputherdown
Me:
"mayyoursi
sterandhusbandbebl
essed"
Thapel
o:"wear
eoknow"
Inodded.
Thapel
o:"t
hankyouHumi,
Idi
dn'
tdeser
veyour
ki
ndness"
Me:
"it
'sok"
HehuggedmeandIhuggedhi m back.Hekissed
mycheekandIbl ushed.Ilookedathim, Idon't
knowwhatIam f eel
ingbutIli
kehim.Idevelopeda
l
ikeforhi
m.Iwi shwegr owupol dandgetmar r
ied
andstaytoget
herwithourchildl
ikehissi
sterand
husband.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
41] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t36

i
twashar dleaving.Real
lyhardbutwemadea
promisethatt he4ofuswi l
lvi
sitt
omor rowjustt
o
havelunch.Madi dn'
twantustoleavebutwewi ll
al
lbet ogethertomorrow.Ntambodi dn'
toff
erfor
hertocomevi si
tandIaskedmysel fandRazoras
well
.WowsoNt amboisreall
ygoingtobemy
st
epbrot
herinlaw.Ididn'
tseethatonecomi
ng.
Anel
eisstayi
ngt hough.Wegotoutsidebyt
hecar
s.
Razor:
"mywoman"
Weshar
edaper
k
Nt
ambo:
"wher
eisKau?"
Razor:
"Idon'
tknow.Iwi
llseehi
mlat
er."
Me:
"whydi
dn'
tyouof
fert
ogowi
thmah?"
Nt
ambo:"Il
ovemymot
herbutIneedKhenal
lover
mypl
ace"
Khensani:
"Fezi
le!
"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"ok"
WehuggedwithKhensaniandsai
dourgoodbyes
l
eavi
ng.WegotinthecarandIbuckl
edupand
r
azordroveof
f.
Me:
"Iwi
llf
etchmycart
omor
row"
Hehel
dmyhand.
Razor
:"Iam happyever
ythi
ngwentwel
l"
Me:
"met
oo"
Razor
:"nowi
t'
stheweddi
ng"
Me:
"it
'sgonnabest
yli
shandchi
ll
ed"
Razor:
"youar
eexci
ted."
Me:"AKasiweddi
ng.What
'snott
obeexci
ted
about?"
Razor:
"Ican'
twai
tforyout
obeMr
sNgomane
l
awfull
y"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Razor:
"what?
"
Me:
"not
hing"
Il
aughed.Heshookhi
shead.
Me:
"Il
oveyouLi
ndani"
Razor:
"Il
oveyouMr
s"
It
urnedupsomemusi
c.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Me:
"Icoul
duseawar
m bat
h"
IsatonthebedandNtet
helel
owentonhisknees
andtookofmyheelsandrubbedmyfeet
.
Me:
"mmht
hatf
eel
sgood."
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Ihopeyouwer
en'
tupanddown"
Me:"Iwasn'
t.Iwasaccommodat edwell
.Iam
happyf
orUnathi,Iunder
stoodhertoday"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"under
stoodher?"
Me:
"whyshewast
hewayshewasbef
ore"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"andt
hati
s?"
Me: "Shei
saf
rai
dofloosi
ngsomeoneshelost
becauseofat
raumat
icexper
iencef
rom t
hepast"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"shewasconsi
der
edment
all
ydi
stur
bed
"
Me:
"It
hinkunderal
lthatshewasagoodper
sonal
l
al
ong."
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youar
eli
kinghert
oomuch"
Me:
"'
whati
fIam ?
"
Iremovedmyl
egsandst
oodupwalki
ngt
othe
bathr
oom.Hef
oll
owedmeandIopenedt
hebat
h
tub.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa"
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elo"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Idon'
tli
ket
his"
Me:
"gi
veherachance."
Nt
ethel
elo:
"No"
Me:
"AyiMnt
ungwa"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"ifmychi
lddoesn'
tgethar
med"
Me:
"thatwon'
thappen"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Idon'
ttr
usther"
Me:"Iwi
llpr
ovetoyoushehaschanged.You
shoul
dhaveseenthegl
owinhereyes"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"li
keyour
s?"
Hesmi
rked.
Me:
"yesl
ikemi
ne"
Hecamecl
oseandki
ssedme.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyoumor
e"
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Heopenedt hedoorandheopenedt helight

s
l
eadingthewayi nwhileholdi
ngmywai sthelocked
thedoorandnol ookedaroundandtur
nedandhe
tookoffhi
sblazerandpulleduphissl
eevesand
l
ookedatmebi ti
nghi sbott
om li
pandthewonder
dimplefl
ashed.
Kau:
"youar
ebeaut
if
ul"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"thankyou"
Hecamecl
osertomeandheheldmywai stand
ki
ssedmeandmyhandswenttohisneck.He
ki
ssedmyneckandmykneeswereweak.
Kau:"Iwi
llwor
shi
pever
ycor
nerandcel
lonyour
ski
n."
Heunzippedmydr essandhepi ckedmeupandI
wrappedmyl egsaroundhiswai standhewentup
thestai
rs.Hishousei sbeautif
ulinaKasi
envi
ronment .Heismoder nized.Hest opsbyt
he
passageandhepi nsmeont hecoldwallki
ssi
ngme
andcaressingme.Weki ssedandhesqueezedmy
butt.Hi
sphoner angdist
urbingus.
Me:
"takei
t"
HetookitoutandIsawthenamet
hatf
lashed.My
hear
tbrokethatsecond.
Me:
"answeri
t"
Kau:
"Idon'
twantt
o"
Iwi
ggl
eddownandt
ri
edt
owal
kawaybuthehel
d
myarm.
Kau:
"Iwi
llbr
eakupwi
thhernow"
Ikeptqui
et.
Kau:
"don'
twal
kaway"
Hest
oodI
nfr
ontofme.
Kau:
"okSkat"
Inodded.Het
hencal
ledherandputi
tonspeaker
.
Gi
rl:
"BabeIhavebeencal
li
ng"
Kau:"Iknow.ThabisaThi
sisn'
twor
kingf
orme
andhasn'tbeen.Youarenott
heoneIwoul
dset
tl
e
wit
honeday"
Gi
rl:
"whatdoyoumean?"
Kau:
"it
'sover"
Gi
rl:
"no.
.no.
.no.
"
Hehungupandgavemet
hephone.Shecal
led.
Kau:
"yourt
urn.Iwon'
tbeasi
deni
gga"
Me:
"HowdoIknowyou.
..
"
Kau:
"Seset
hu"
Isi
ghedandcal
ledLukhanyoandheanswer
ed.
Lukhanyo:
"hel
lo"
Me:
"it
'sSet
hu"
Lukhanyo:
"babyiam sor
ry,
wecanf
ixt
his"
Me:
"wecan'
t,i
tendsher
e"
Lukhanyo:
"don'
tsaythat
.Ial
readyhavet
hel
ett
er.
Wear eget
ti
ngmarri
ed."
Me:
"mar
ryhernotme"
Ihungupandhavehi
m hi
sphoneandheswi
tched
i
toff.Iki
ssedhi
m.
Kau:
"wear
edoi
ngt
his?"
Inoddedandwentonmykneesandwaslooki
ngat
hi
strunk.It
ookoffhi
spant
sanditspr
ungout.I
swall
owed.
Me:
"doeshebi
te?"
Kau:
"(chuckl
ing)No"
Inoddedandli
ckedhi
sti
pbeforeful
lyput
tingiti
n
mymout handhetookof
fhi
st opandeverythi
ng
.[
SCISSORED].
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Iwantedtoholdhimti
llt
henightf
all
sandmorni
ng
comesbutIguessheisallgrown.Smisocamei
n
thebedroom andhecl
osedthedoorandcameto
meandhuggedme.
Me:
"Iam sohappyt
oseehi
m"
Smi
so:
"that
'sgood"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tseet
hisonecomi
ng"
Smi
so:
"whi
chone?"
Me:
"Unat
hibei
ngmydaught
eri
nlaw"
Hechuckl
ed
Smi
so:
"it
'sasmal
lwor
ld"
Me:
"thankyou"
Smi
so:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Wehel
deachot
her
.
.
*
THABI
SA*

Wendy:
"ohbabeIam sor
ry"
Me:
"hej
ustbr
okeof
fwi
thMe"
Wewer
eint
hecarKauboughtf
orme.
Wendy:
"gogetyourman.Wecan'
tbot
hlooset
hem
"
Me:
"youar
eri
ght"
Wendy:
"wi
llyoudr
ive?
"
Me:
"Iwi
ll"
Iwipedmyt earsandst
artedthecardrivi
ngoff
.I
can'
tloosehim, nohecan'tj
ustbreakupwithme.
ThatIwon'ttake.Wegottohishouseandwe
l
ookedatitandIcouldn'
tmakeouti fitwasdarkor
theli
ght
sareoni
nsi
de.Ipar
kedt
hecaront
he
dri
veway.
Wendy:
"Iwi
llwai
ther
e"
Inoddedandgotoutoft
hecarandmademywayt
o
thedoor
.Itookoutmykeyandopenedwhil
e
walki
nginsi
deandIcoul
dhearhisvoi
ceand
giggl
es.
Me:
"Ohno"
Iwenttotheki
tchenandgotaknif
eandwal
kedup
thest
air
s.Icouldheart
hem abitnow.
"
Ah!Fuck!
"
Thebi
tchmoaned.
Kau:
"fuckIl
oveyou"
Theywer
eki
ssi
ngasIwal
kedi
n.
Me:
"ohsot
hisi
swhatyouar
eleavi
ngmef
or?
"
Kau:
"Thabi
sagetout"
Me:
"Iam her
eforher"
Ij
umpedont
hebedandsher
oll
edof
fandIpl
unged
t
hekni
fei
nthebedandshepul
ledmyhai
r.
Kau:
"ladi
es!Skat
!"
Me:
"leavemeal
oneIwantt
ohi
tyou!"
Gi
rl:
"Iwon'
t"
Kautri
edtohol
dherbutshepushedhim onthebed
andletgoofme.Iturnedar
oundandshewas
sucki
nghisdi
ck.Ichargedt
owardsherandshe
ducked.
Gi
rl:
"Iwon'
tshame."
Me:
"myman,
mydi
ck!
?Youwi
llknowme
Igotonheraswefoughtandsherol
ledmeover
andshehitme.Imeanfistsandt
heywerest
rong.
KautookherandIwasbleedi
ng.
Kau:
"leaveThabi
sa"
Icr
ied.
Me:
"Iwi
llcomeback"
Hepickedmeupandthrewmeoutbef
oreIhear
d
t
hingsbreaki
ngandWendycamet
ome.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Iwal
kedupt
omydr
essandhegott
ome.
Kau:
"skat"
Me:
"don'
t.JustbecauseIpul
ledt
hatst
untdoesn'
t
meanIam stayi
ng"
Igotmyshi
tandhepi
ckedmeup.
Me:
"putmedown.
Kau:"youar
enotl
eavi
ngandIwon'
tlett
hat
happen."
Heki
ssedme.Ihat
ehowweakIam ar
oundhi
m.
Kau:
"don'
tleaveme"
Al
lmyangervani
shed.
Kau:
"Il
oveyou"
Hebi
tmybott
om li
pandlaidmeonthecouchand
t
ookmythi
ngs,putthenonthesi
deandgotonme.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
42] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t37

*
SESETHU*

IWokeupandIl ookedatmysur r
oundings, my
ki
ttenneedsTLCbecausewowi t'
sburning.Igot
upandgotof fthebed.Itakeatopfr
om t he
wardrobeandIwal kedoutofthebedroom andwent
downt hest
airsandmusi cwasplaying.I
t'sclean
even.Ilookedar oundandKaucameoutf rom the
ki
tchenwearingboxers.
Kau:
"(smi
li
ng)Iwascomi
ngt
ocheckonyou"
Me:
"Iam up"
Kau:
"Imadebr
eakf
ast
"
Me:"Iwasgoi
ngt
ohel
pwi
tht
hecl
eani
ngbutisee
t
hatit
'sdone"
Kau:
"excuseme.Iam amor
ningper
son"
Me:
"onet
rai
tsIdon'
thave"
Hebi
thi
sbot
tom l
ip.
Kau:
"Thatl
ooksgoodonyou"
Me:"ohyeahIneedt
hingssoIcanf
reshenup"
Hewal
kedcl
osertomeandBur
naboywaspl
ayi
ng.
Hehel
dmywaist.
Kau:
"Youshowedmeanot
herwor
ldyest
erday"
Me:
"doyoul
ikemaki
ngt
hingsawkwar
d?"
Kau:
"it
'snotawkwar
dsi
ncewear
etoget
her"
Me:
"that
'sf
ast"
Hechuckl
edandwhisper
edi
nmyearbehi
ndmeas
hemovedmywaistandbodywi
thhi
m andthe
rhyt
hm.
Kau:"Itol
dyout
hat,
thatr
ingwasj
ustasmal
l
obst
acle."
Ikeptqui
et.
Kau:
"Movewi
thme"
Me:
"Ican'
tdance"
Kau:
"rel
axandmovewi
thme"
Ibr
eat
houtandmovedwi
thhi
m.
Kau:
"yeahl
iket
hat"
Heki
ssedmyneck.
"
OhmyAngel
i,
Angel
ina
Ohno
SheywhenIwandeycomot
,makeIsi
gnalyou
Whyyouwantt
odeyquest
ionmel
ikeani
nter
view
(
yeah)
I
'
mtr
ynaputt
her
ingonyourf
ingert
oo
Andbeabet
terguy,
guy
Beabet
terguyguy
Ont
hel
ow
Ont
hel
ow
Ont
hel
ow.
..
."
Kau:
"Iam notgoi
nganywher
eSeset
hu"
Me:"don'
thur
tme.I
twi
lldomor
edamaget
han
youthi
nk"
Kau:
"Iwon'
t"
From oner
elat
ionshi
ptoanot
her
.Itf
eel
sni
ceand
beaut
iful,
Istartt
orel
ax.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Razor:"thi
si sdayli
ghtrobber
y.Whyshoul dwebuy
somethinglikewinewhenyourf athershoul
dbuy
thefl
ower sandwi neforusguests"
Il
aughed.Hewasr
ed
Me:
"it
'showi
t'
sdone"
Razor:
"justhopet
heywi
lldr
inkal
lthi
sup"
Me:
"wewi
lldr
inki
tup."
Wegothomeandheparkedt
hecarbehi
ndt
her
est
andwesatabi
tinsi
de.
Me:
"let
'sgoi
n"
Razor:
"ok"
Me:
"rel
ax"
Wegotoutoft
hecarandheldhandsandwal
ked
i
nsi
de.Wecouldhearl
aught
erandpeopl
echatt
ing.
Dadseemsrel
axedasweapproach.
Qamo:
"wi
ne"
Me:
"Hel
loever
yone"
Mast
oodupandcamet
ohugus.
Nt
ambo:
"shet
houghtwewoul
dn'
tcome"
Ma:
"youki
dschangeyourmi
ndsal
ot"
Me:
"webr
oughtwi
neandf
lower
s."
Ma:
"oht
hat
'sni
ce.IknowLi
ndanidi
dn'
tthi
nkofi
t"
Razor:
"thi
siswhi
te"
Hemumbl
ed.
Ma:
"Ihavebeenupsi
mcemor
ningandcooki
ng."
Nt
ambo:
"soyouar
ereal
lydat
ing?"
Ma:
"Fezi
leyes,
comel
et'
sgot
othet
abl
e"
DadandMahhel dhandsandwewal kedt
othe
di
ningroom andweallsatdown.Qamointr
oduced
herhusbandandwegr eet
edback.
Me:
"wher
eisMom ?"
Qamo:"i
nEast
erncape.Ispr
ayedhol
ywat
erandup
shewent"
Ma:
"Qamuki
le"
Qamo:
"sor
ry"
Ma:
"canwepr
ay?"
Weal
lcl
osedoureyes.
Ma: "DearGodwet hankyouf orthej
oyyouhave
broughtinourliveandtheuni onyouunfol
dedin
yourchildren'
sli
vesandbl essings.Wethankyou
foreverythingt
hatisinfr
ontofusandt hepeopl
e
whol oveusuncondi t
ionall
yandyourunconditi
onal
l
ovesincewewer eformedinourmother
'swombs.
Graceuswithyourpresencei
nourl
iveseachand
everyday.I
nyourholynameAmen"
Ever
yone:
"Amen"
Westarteddishi
ngup.Shel ookedatRazorand
smil
edthenatNt ambowhoi sfil
li
ngaroundwith
Khensaniforabowelfullofchicken.Thi
sisjoyf
ul,
wehaveneversatlikethistogetheranditf
eelsni
ce.

.
.
*
MERCY*

Iwalkeddownthestair
saf t
ergoingtoshower.
Sandil
ekeptmeupyest er
dayt hatIdi
dn'tgett
o
wakeupear l
yanddoever yt
hingproper.Sandil
e
andthekidswenttoUshaka. Iwanttogooutto
Gatewaymallandjustdosomeshoppi ngandr el
ax.
Ithasbeenhecti
cplusthehusbandgavememoney.
Tospoilever
yone.Bahumiwassi t
ti
ngwi t
hThapelo
andshewasf
eedi
ngherbabydaught
er.
Me:
"mor
ning"
Them :
"mor
ningsi
si"
Me:
"haveyoueat
en?
"
Theynod
Me:"wel
lwear
egoi
ngoutt
orel
ax.Thapel
oar
e
youfi
ne?"
Thapel
o:"Iam f
ine.
Me:"okl
etmegetmybagandt
hennwecanal
l
l
eave"
Irushedupthest
air
sandmyphoner
ang.It
ooki
t
andanswered.
Sandi
le:
"Babyhowar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam f
resh."
Sandi
le:howar
etheot
her
s?"
Me:
"theyar
eok.Wear
egoi
ngoutnow"
Sandi
le:
"ok.Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Hehungup.Itookmyt
hingsandcal
ledAndi
swa
andsheanswered.
Andi
swa:
"andIt
houghtyouel
oped"
Me:"pl
easeyouar
etheonewhodoesn'
tcal
l
anymor
e"
Andiswa:
"it'
salott
hat
'sbeengoi
ngon.My
marking,
kids,Ntet
hel
eloandnowthi
sbabyi
s
st
rai
ningme"
Me:
"baby?
"
Andi
swa:
"Iam pr
egnant"
Me:
"Iam pl
ani
ngababyshower"
Andi
swa:
"wai
tti
llIam 8mont
hs"
Me:
"butiam st
il
lpl
ani
ng.Iam sohappy"
Andi
swa:"
met
oo.Iwi
llcal
llat
erNt
ethel
eloi
sbei
ng
ababy"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"bye"
Ihungupandt
heywer
eready.
Me:
"let
'sgo"
Wewal kedoutl ockingandwentt othecar.They
satatthebackandIgoti nthefront.Theyaretoo
youngf oral
loft hisbeingparentsintheprocess.
Atl
eastIhadsandi leandhewasgr ownandIwas
anadultat18butIknowi t'
stoughatt i
mesbei nga
parent.17and15i syoung, myhear tj
ustbreaks
whenIl ookatthem .Howwoul dtheirf
utur
ehad
tur
nedouti fever yt
hingwasn'tasi ti
s.Wej usthave
tomakesur eit'
sbet t
erthanthesituati
onathand.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Ma:
"Sowheni
stheweddi
ng?"
MeandRazorl
ookedateachot
her.
Razor:
"Idon'
twantt
owai
tlongsot
woweeks?
"
Me:
"twoweeks?"
Razor:
"yeah"
Inodded.
Dad:"whatweddi
ngwoul
dbepl
annedni
cel
yint
wo
weeks?"
Me:
"wear
ehavi
ngourweddi
ngataTownshi
p"
Hechoked.
Ma:
"Youl
ikei
t?"
Me: "Il
oveit
.Iam t
heonewhosuggest
edandwe
al
readyhaveapastort
obl
essourmarri
agefort
he
day.Nothi
ngbigj
ustsi
mpleandmemorabl
e"
Qamo:
"ist
hatUnat
hi?"
Me:
"peopl
eChange"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sur
pri
sedl
ikeyousi
s"
Me:
"youdon'
tknowme"
Ma:"i
t'
saveryl
ovel
yideaandtheneighbor
swi
ll
hel
pyouenj
oythedaybybeingjoyf
ul."
Me:
"ri
ght?SoIwast
hinki
ng.
..
."
Dad:
"youbot
hagr
eedt
oit?
"
Me:
"Isuggest
edandl
indaniwasokwi
tht
hei
dea"
Razor:
"what
evermakesherhappy"
Ma:
"youngl
ove"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam st
il
ltr
aumat
izedbyt
hisone"
Khensani:
"Fezi
le"
Dad:
"wear
eal
lher
etost
ayr
ight?"
Razor:
"Iwi
lldr
inkt
othat"
Wealltookourgl
assesandsi
ppedonour
bever
ages.
Nt
ambo:
"it
'st
il
lthesame"
Khensani:
"Fezi
le"
Helookedatherandi
t'
sli
ket
heywer
espeaki
ng
wi
ththeireyes.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sor
ry"
Ma:
"youknowhowt
ohol
dhi
minpl
ace"
Khensanismi
led.
Khensani:
"hei
sst
art
ingt
obehave"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam her
e"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"tamehi
m.Heneedsmor
eoft
hat"
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Thisi
snicewhatsisMercyi
sdoingf
orus.Thapelo
l
ookshappyandiam happytoo.Sheboughtal
otof
thi
ngsandschoolsuppl
iesf
oruswhenwest ar
t
schoolsoon.
Me:
"thankyousi
sMer
cy"
Mer
cy:
"cal
lmeMer
cyandwear
efami
ly"
Wenodded.
Mer
cy:
"let
'sgoeatIam hungr
y"
Thi
sisrel
axi
ng,justgoi
ngoutandhavi
ngnot
hing
towor
ryaboutatall
.
Thapel
o:"canIt
akeher?"
Ihandedoverl
esedit
ohi
m asshewasasl
eepand
hecr
adl
edher
.
Thapel
o:"shel
ovest
osl
eep."
Me:
"al
ot"
Therewassi
lence.Mercywasaheadofusbyt
he
ti
llwhi
lewewaiti
ngforhert
ofi
nisht
henwego.
Thapel
o:"ar
eyouok?"
Inodded.Awomanpasseduslooki
ngatusand
shookherhead.Il
ookedawayandfi
ddl
edwithmy
fi
ngersti
llwehadt
oleave.
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
42] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t38
Aweekpassedbyver yqui cklyandIwoul dsayIam
evengl owi ngandgai ning.Ilovemysmal lfamil
y
andcont entwithitaswel l
.Wendy, Icrossedpat hs
withherandIdi dn'thavet i
mef orherbutshedi d
makesomet hr
eatsnott hatImi ndedt hem alot.
Razorsai dhewi l
ltakecar eofit.Honest lyIdon't
wantdr ama.Thi sweekendwear eget ti
ngmar ri
ed
andIam soexci tedandhappy.Icanal readysee
everythingyouknow, thistimeIdi dn'tgooverj ust
simpleandel egantatt hesamet i
me.MyMat ronis
goingt obeKhensaniandmybr i
desmai di sQamo.
Mahi ssohappy.Wet oldthepast orandhewas
happyf orusandwi llwedusnsot hingsar ecomi ng
togetherwonder f
ully.Idi dn'tgotot heSal ontoday
andsoasRazor .Anel eisathomeandLet ho.
Me:
"Baby"
Razor:
"Mmmh"
Igettohi
m att
hel
oungeandhet
il
tshi
sheadf
or
met oseehi
m.
Me:
"Thecakei
sapr
obl
em."
Razor:
"Iknowal
adywhocandoi
t.Howdoyou
wanti
t?"
Me:"Justsi
mplewhi
tet
wol
ayer
swi
thagol
dband
oneachbott
om
Hef
rownsl
ooki
ngatme.
Me:
"what?"
Razor:
"youj
ustsur
pri
seme"
Me:
"wel
lIam mast
erofsur
pri
ses"
Igotonhi
m.
Razor:
"real
ly?RememberhowIpr
oposed?"
Ihi
thi
schest
.
Me:
"Ial
mostbr
okeupwi
thyou"
Razor:
"Youl
ovemet
oomuch."
Me:
"Ido"
Razor:
"Iwantababywhenwegetmar
ri
ed"
Me:"mycont
racepti
vei
slef
twi
th1andahal
fyear
bef
orei
twear
sof f
."
Razor:
"Thesuper
int
endentwasf
orwar
d"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
obef
atnow"
Razor:
"butyouwi
llbe?"
Me:
"yes"
Razor:
"okl
et'
sgopr
act
icet
il
litwear
sof
f"
Me:
"ohno"
Hesatupandpickedmeup.Il
aughedandwe
shar
edakissgoingtot
hebedr
oom.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Wegotsqueezedi ntoschoolbutweareverybehi
nd
theothergrade9's.Iwonderi fmeandThapeloare
i
nt hesamecl assornot.If i
xmyunifor
m andlook
atmyselfthrought hemirr
orandIhearLesedi
cryi
ngandIr usht ogetherfrom t
hebedandIhush
her.
Me:
"Shhshh"
Itakeherbot t
leandIfeedhersomemilkandshe
start
st ocal
m down.Thereisaknockonthedoor
andIt el
lthepersonontheothersi
detocomein
andThapel owalksin. Hesmi l
esandIsmil
eas
wellandhel etshisar
msout .
Thapel
o:"whyar
eyouawakesoear
ly?
"
Me:
"Shekeptmeup"
Thapel
o:"Iwi
llsl
eepher
ewi
thyouguyssoIcan
watchheraswell
."
Me:
"thankyou"
"OhIseeyouar
ebot
hready"
Wet
urnandSi
sMer
cywasbyt
hedoor
.
Mercy:"hipr
incess.Yourpar
ent
sar
egoi
ngt
o
school"
Shet
ookLesedi.
Me:
"Ifshebot
her
sIdon'
tmi
ndst
ayi
ng"
Mercy:
"noi
t'
sfi
ne.Youneedt
ogot
oschool
.Come
andeat"
Me:t
hankyou"
Mer
cy:
"comebaby"
Thapel
o:"meetyoudownst
air
s"
Inoddedandhewal kedout,It
ookmyschoolbag
andblazerandIwalkedoutofthebedr
oom and
wentdownt hest
air
s.Igreetedandsatdown.
Sandi
le:
"Youar
einseper
atecl
asses"
Wenoddedandcar
ri
edoneat
ingt
il
lwewer
edone.
Sandi
le:
"let
'sgoguys."
Mer
cy:
"enj
oyyourf
ir
stday"
Us:
"thankyou"
Wetookourbagsandwewalkedout.Wegoti
nthe
cart
he5ofusandoffthecarwentt
odropthel
it
tl
e
onesfi
rstt
henus.
Sandil
e:"Ipayal
otofmoneydon'
tpl
aywi
thi
t.
Thapelo"
Thapel
o:"yessi
r"
Sandi
le:
"good"
Wewal kedoutandclosedt
hedoorbef
oremaki
ng
ourwayI n.Iwasscar
edwhenwesawwhi t
epeopl
e
,Ihaveneverbeeninaschoolwi
thwhi
tepeopl
e
withitandIwasnervous.
Me:
"Iam scar
ed"
Thapel
o:"met
oo"
Thebel
lrang.
hegavemeapaper
.
Thapel
o:"t
hisi
syour
sforyourcl
asses."
Me:
"uhm ok"
Twowhi
tegi
rl
scamet
ous.
Them :
"hi,
youneedt
ogot
ocl
ass."
Thapel
o:"wear
enewsowear
elost"
Icoul
dn'
tutt
eranyt
hingbecauseEngl
ishwasgoi
ng
tofai
lme.
Gi
rl:
"letmehel
pyou"
Shetookmysheetandhandandwewal
kedof
f
seper
atel
ywi
thThapelo
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Ihaveoneweekbef oremyleaveendsnextweek
thenIgobacktowor k.Iam insear
chofaf l
atat
themomentandihaven' tf
oundoneatt hemoment
aswell,
Idon'
tli
kelivi
ngwi t
hKau.It'
sjustwrong.
HejustwentoutandIwassi tti
ngonthecouch
watchi
ngTV, Icookedjusttopasssomet i
me.
Therewasaknockont hedoorandIwenttoopen
anditwasthatThabisawoman.If ol
dedmyar ms.
Me:
"Hi"
Thabi
sa:
"thi
sispur
ewi
tchcr
aft"
Me:
"Doesmymanknowyouar
eher
e?"
Thabi
sa:"Heehmanyi
sht
wodaysnyanaandi
t'
s
yourman"
Me:"YesIsai
dthatandit
'snotj
ustt
wodays,
you
wer
ejustwarmingupforme."
Thabi
sa:
"Iam gonn.
..
"
Me:
"what?Andher
ehecomes"
Kaupar
kshi
scarandIpushThabi
saoutoft
heway
andwal
kuptohi
scarandhegetsout
.
Kau:
"Thabi
sawhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?!
"
Me:
"cal
m down."
Kau:
"No,
Iam t
ir
edoft
his"
Thabi
sa:"youar
eti
redoft
hisbecauseofnew
pussy?"
Me:
"it
'sbet
tert
hanyour
s."
Thabi
sa:
"you.
..
"
Kauwal
kspastmeandpul
lsherhai
r.
Kau:"I
fIeverseeyouher
eagai
nThabi
sayou
knowme"
Hekickedheroutofthegateandcamebackin.He
wasfumi ng,Ist
eepedbackashelockedhi
scar
andattackedmewi t
hakiss.
Kau:
"thi
swi
llr
esul
tinapuni
shmentoneday"
Me:
"what
?"
Hel
ookedatmeandIl
ookedatmysel
f.
Me:
"it
'sl
ikeadr
ess"
Kau:"t
urnandwal
kinsi
de.Idon'
twantt
heseKasi
dogsseei
ngmybuns"
Igi
ggl
edandturnedashewal
kedbehi
ndmeand
wegotinsi
det
hehouse.
Kau:
"smel
lsni
ce"
Me:
"Icooked"
Kau:
"Theboxesar
ejustt
icki
ng"
Ishookmyhead.
Me:
"shoul
dIdi
shup?"
Kau:
"pl
ease"
Iwentt
otheki
tchent
odi
shup.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*
Thebel lrangandIam doi ngZuluclass.Af ri
kaans
seemedt oomuchf ormeandIwoul dn'tcopeatal l.
Sof arit
'sgoingoki t
'sjustthatIam notusedt o
kidslearningwiththatwhi tescr
eent hing, Iam
usedt oabl ackboardsoi t'sal
lnew.It ookmybag
andwentoutf orbreak.Iam searchingf orThapelo
atourar eaandIseehi m standi
ngwi thagr oupof
boysandgi rl
s.Wowhehasmadef riendssof ast
andIam si t
ti
ngalonei nclassexceptMat hswher eI
sitwiththiscolour
edgi rl.Sheisscar yaswel l
.I
approacht hem asner vousasIam andIgett o
them.
Thapel
o:"ohHumi"
Het
ookmyhand.
Guy:
"hiIam Fani
sa"
Gi
rl:
"St
opt
hat
."
Sher
oll
edhereyes.
Gi
rl2:
"Youar
esocut
eThapel
o"
Hechuckl
ed.Ij
ustf
elthear
tbr
okenwhenshesai
d
t
hat
.
Thapel
o:"t
hankyou"
Gi
rl3:
"soshei
syourbabysi
ster?
"
Thapel
o:"Nomygi
rl
fr
iend"
Guy:
"wai
tyoul
ivewi
thyourgi
rl?Damnt
hatni
ce"
Gi
rl:
"mxm uzomithabhekasi
mbukanesisunext
t
erm (shewi
llgetpr
egnantl
et'
swai
tfornextt
erm)"
Me:
"Igott
ogo"
Igotoutoft
hei
rci
rcl
e.
"Bahumi!
"
It
ri
edwippi
ngmytear
sandhestoodI
nfr
ontofme
br
eathi
ngandheembracedmei
nahugandIcri
ed.
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry"
Isobbed.Hekeptonapol
ogi
zingf
orsomet
hingwe
bothhadnoholdover
.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry.Iover
react
ed"
Thapel
o:"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Iwi
llgot
ocl
ass.Seeyouaf
terschool"
Iwal
kedof
f.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
43] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t39

*
RAZOR*

Ikissedhershoulderandtrial
edmyf ingersallover
herskinandcoul dhereherbreathi
ngpace.Icoul d
feelhowmyhear ti
saccelerati
ng.Ipullherinahug
andshewr apsherarmsar oundmeandIki ssher
forehead.Iseeasmi leonherf aceandthe
automat i
call
ymakesmesmi l
easwel l
.
Me:
"whyar
eyousmi
li
ng?
"
Unat
hi:
"isi
tacr
met
odosonow?"
Me:
"No"
Sheadj
ust
edher
sel
fandhel
dont
ome.
Unat
hi:
"Iam t
hinki
ngt
hat
'swhyIam smi
li
ng"
Me:
"about?"
Unat
hi:
"you"
Me:
"whatdi
dIdo?"
Unat
hi:
"thewaywemeti
t'
swei
rdbutt
hewaywe
l
oveeachotheri
s..
..
"
Me:"Ihaveal
wayslovedyou.I
t'
sJustIwas
scar
edtotel
lyou"
Shel
aughs.
Unat
hi:
"youbei
ngscar
ed.Wowt
hat
'snew"
Me:
"It
'snotnew.Youj
ustmakemener
vous"
Unat
hi:
"OhNgomane"
Me:
"Iwantt
ovi
sitmom'
sgr
ave"
Shewassi
lentandl
ookedupatme.
Unat
hi:
"weshoul
dgot
oget
herandAnel
e"
Inodded.
Me:
"Thatwoul
dbegr
eat"
Unathi:
"Iwanttoseet
hisamazi
ngwoman'
sfi
nal
rest
ingplace"
Me:"shewasamazing.Shewasmyever yt
hing,
its
abummershediedwithoutseei
nghersont
heway
shewantedandseemegetmar ried."
Unat
hisatupandhel
dmyf
ace.
Unathi:
"Hey,shelovedyouandsti
lll
ovesyou
wherevershei
sandshewi l
lseeyougetmarri
ed.I
am proudtomarr
yamanl i
keyou"
Sheper
kedmyl
ips.
Unat
hi:
"youar
emyt
ypeofman"
Ichuckl
edandhel
dherbut
t.
Me:
"Shewoul
dhavel
ovedyou"
Unat
hi:
"Il
oveher"
Ilookedatherandsmiledandwesharedakiss,I
feell
iket
hesedaysIthinkaboutmymotheralot
.I
guessitwouldhavereall
ybeennicei
fshewasalive
toseemegetmar ri
edandmysonaswel l
.Iwish
shewasher
etoseethewomanIl
ovesomuchand
woul
ddoanythi
ngforher
.Ij
ustwish.
.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Mom :"I
ntooyazi
yonj
eukuhl
alaungenzil
utho
(whatyouknowistoj
ustsi
tanddonothing)"
Me:
"Mahpl
ease"
Ichanget
hechannelandshecl
apsherhands.Ir
oll
myeyesasther
eisaknockonthedoor.
"
Makhel
wane!
(Nei
ghbour!
)"
Mom :
"EwuungangenaSi
si!
(Youcancomei
n)"
Thedooropens.OhMaMshengui sherewi
tht
he
townshipgossip.Mi
ndyouIhavebeent
het
opi
cg
thei
rgosspisessi
onbef
ore.
MaMshengu:
"Hai
boNt
ombii
ti
ye(Gogetmesome
t
ea)
"
Me:"youdon'
tli
veher
eandyoucomei
n
demandi
ngthi
ngs"
Mom :
"Wendy!"
MaMshengu:"i
t'
stheseboysthatar
et eachi
ngyou
t
obedisr
espect
fulli
kethi
stoyourelders.
Mom :"mmmhyes.ThatNgomaneboy.Youwoul
d
notsayhi
smot
herwasaChr i
sti
an"
MaMshengu:
"youcan'
thavei
tal
l.HeehIhave
news."
ShesatdownandItur
nedupthevol
umeandMom
tookt
heremot
efrom myhandsandtur
nedi
tdown.
Me:
"butIam wat
chi
ng."
Mom :
"thi
sismyhouseWendy"
YetIpat
chedi
t.
MaMshengu:
"ThesedaysthatNgomaneboyis
al
waysupanddownwiththi
syell
owbeauty"
Mom :"yes.Ioncesawt
hewomancl
eani
ng
out
side."
MaMshengu:
"Lal
elaphel
a,Loyamf
anauyashada
manj
e(Li
stenher
e,t
hatboyi
sget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed)
"
Mom :
"unamanga(youl
ie)
"
MaMshengu:
"ubaba(t
rue)"
Mom :
"Wher
edi
dyouheart
his?
"
MaMshengu:
"Ihavemyear
sont
her
oad."
Icanf
eelmybl
oodboi
li
ng.
Me:"Heisgonnal
eaveher
.That
'swhathedoes
anywaysodon'
tbesur
pri
sed"
Ir
oll
edmyeyes.
MaMshengu:"Hepaidful
lcowsatt
hegir
l'
shouse
aweekagoatthewhitear
ea ,t
hisweekSatur
day
t
heyaret
yingtheknother
e"
Mom :"yohWazewayenzaintwenhl
elomf
ana.Kade
ephoxaboh(yohthi
sboyhasdoneawonder f
ul
thi
ng.Hehasbeendisappoi
nti
ngalot)
"
MaMshengu:
"ei
,ar
eyougoi
ng?"
Mom :
"yesof
cause"
Me:
"nx"
Ist
oodup.
Mom :
"andt
hen?"
Ii
gnoredherandwalkedout
.Ican'
tbeli
eveRazor
i
sreall
ydoingthi
stome.Iam goingtostopthat
wedding.Hehastomarrymenother.That'
snever
supposedtohappen.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*
WegothomeandSi
sMer
cywassi
tt
ingont
he
couchwat
chi
ngTV.
Mer
cy:
"heyguyshowwasyourf
ir
stday?"
Thapel
o:"Good"
Ikeptqui
et.
Mer
cy:
"youBahumi?"
Me:
"It
sfi
ne"
Mer
cy:
"Madeanyf
ri
ends?
"
Me:
"Ihavegothomewor
k.Iwi
llseeyou"
Iwalkedupthestai
rsandgoti nmyroom and
Lesedii
slayi
nginherbed.Itouchhercheek
sl
ightl
yandtear
sstream downmycheeks.
_
___
Mom :
"St
ri
pthebot
hofyou"
Me:
"MamaIam sor
ryIwentout
side"
Mom :"i
sn'
tityouLovehi
m andyoualwayshi
s
savi
nggracegoingagai
nstmyorder
s."
Thapel
o:"Hi
tmei
t'
smyf
aul
t"
Me:
"no,
Iwaswr
ong"
Mom :
"Yeyi!St
ri
p!"
Webotht
ookoffourcl
othesasshewashol
dinga
sj
ambok,Iwaswait
ingforanyst
ri
ke.
Mom :
"Bahumigetont
hebedandl
ayonyourback.
"
Igotont
hebedandl
aidonmyback.
Mom :
"Thapel
ogetonher"
Thapel
o:"Aunt
y..
"
Shest ri
kedhi mt hreeti
mesandhi sski
nwas
teari
ng.Iwasscar edandmyeyeswer eglossy.
WhydoesMom t reatThapel
oliket
hisMara,Imean
Kat l
egoist hesameageasThapel obutshedoesn'
t
treathiml i
ket hi
s, hi
sfather.Whydoesn'
the
addr essthisissue.
Mom :
"Getonher!"
Hegotonthebedandshehi thi
m.Shewas
shouti
ngandshegottomeandhi tmet
oo.My
thi
ghbledandtear
srol
leddownmyeyes.She
i
ntsruct
edwhatneededtobedone.
Mom :
"Aker
eyoul
oveeachot
her
"
Me:
"MamaWear
esor
ry"
Mom :
"Sor
rymyf
ootBahumi!"
ShehitusandIwasscaredl
ooki
ngatThapelo.He
wastooaswell,t
hiswasgoingt
obemyf i
rsttime.
Hepenetrat
edmeandIscreamed.Mom hi
tusandI
hel
dinmgsobs.
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry"
Tear
slef
thi
seyes.Shekeptonhi
tt
ingusi
fwe
wentagai
nstheror
der
s.
_
___
Ihel
dLesedii
nmyar
mst
ight
lyhuggi
ngher
.
Me:
"Shh,
shhnoonewi
llhur
tyou"
"Bahumiar
eyouok?"
SisMer
cywalkedi
nandt
ear
slef
tmyeyes.She
cameandhuggedme.
Mer
cy:
"it
'sok"
Isobbed.
Mer
cy:
"It
'sok.Youar
egoi
ngt
obeok"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
ogot
oschoolanymor
e"
Mercy:"youhavet
o.SoLesedicanhaveabet
ter
chi
ldhood.Foryoursel
f"
Me:
"it
'shar
d"
Mer
cy:
"it
'sgoi
ngt
obeal
ri
ght"
Isobbedandshehuggedus.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Thef oll
owingdayt heSal onwascl osedsonowor k.
Wewi l
lbegoi ngdressfit
tingIt hinkt odaybutwe
needt oconfirm withUnat hi
.Iwaswokenupby
someone' stoungeonmyKi tt
enandImoaned
holdi
ngt hesheet s.Myt oescur l
edi npleasureand
mybodyt i
ngled.Hehol dsmyl egsandput sthem
i
nhi sshoulderandhi sfacei sburr i
eddeepbet ween
myt highs.If eelli
kecrossi ngmyl egsaroundhi s
neckbutIbi temybot tom l i
pandl etthepleasure
washt hroughme.Icum andhet henput smyl egs
downandget sbet weenthem andcomest okissmy
for
ehead.
Nt
ambo:
"Mor
ningSunshi
ne"
Ismi
led.Heget
sof
fme
Me:
"Goodmor
ning.Whatawayt
owakeup?"
Ntambo:"somet
imesyouj
ustneedt
oputi
nnew
f
lavoureachmor
ning"
Ilaughedandgotoffthebedandpickedupmy
pyjamashort.Iwonderhowhetookitoffme
withoutf
eeli
nganythi
ng.Imadethebedt henwent
tothebathr
oom andbr ushedmyteet
handhe
walkedinandlookedatme.
Me:
"uhm somepr
ivacy?
"
Nt
ambo:
"wear
egonnaTakeabat
htoget
her"
Me:
"thatwon'
tbequi
ck"
Hecomescl
oseandhol
dmywai
st.
Nt
ambo:
"Ihavebeent
hinki
ng"
Me:
"mmmh"
Nt
ambo:
"HowaboutIpl
antababyi
nyou?"
Me:"don'
tevent
hinkaboutt
hat
.Ababyi
sal
otof
wor
k"
Nt
ambo:
"Imagi
ne"
Me:
"nahgett
hatoutofyourhead."
Hechuckl
edandit
urnedar
oundandweshar
eda
ki
ss.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
ooMt
hombeni"
Nt
ambo:
"Soyoul
ear
ned?"
Me:
"Ihadt
o"
Heper
kedmyl
ips.
Nt
ambo:
"howmuchdoyoul
oveme?"
Me:
"Inf
ini
ty"
Hepickedmeupandplacedmeont
hesi
nk.He
par
tedmylegsandhel
done
Nt
ambo:
"Idi
dn'
tgett
hat"
Me:
"Inf
ini
ty"
Heki
ssedmycheekandwhi
sper
edi
nmyear.
Nt
ambo:
"let
'sheari
tagai
n."
Me:
"Il
oveyoui
nfi
nit
y,Mmh"
Het
hrust
edi
nme.
Nt
ambo:
"Doyouwantababy?
"
Me:
"No"
Nt
ambo:
"Justone"
Me:
"AhFezi
lei
t'
s.
..
."
HeheldonmesoIcanbebal
anced.Weshar
eda
ki
ss.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*
RazorleftandIam athome, t
hedr essfi
tt
ingwon't
happentodaybecauseoft hedesi gnerofthe
dressesisabitbusytodaybutt heyaredone.We
boughtthem doneit'
sjustwewantt oseewhohas
gainedweightornot.Iam i nt
heki t
chenandIt ake
outsomei ngredi
ent
sf orcooking.Iam get t
ingthe
hangofget t
ingbett
ermeal s.Myphoner ingsandI
answerit.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
Andi
swa:
"Hi,
Iwantt
oseeyout
odayaf
terwor
k"
Me:"uhm Iam atmyFi
ance'
shouseyoucanswi
ng
byaft
erwork"
Andi
swa:
"okIwi
ll"
Me:
"isi
taboutLet
ho?"
Andi
swa:
"No.Ij
ustneedust
otal
k"
Me:
"ok.That
'sf
inet
hen.Seeyout
hen"
Andi
swa:
"ok"
Shehungup.OkthatIwanttohearwhatshehas
tosay.Ther
eisaknockonthedoorandIwipemy
handsandgotot
hedoor.
Me:
"Whoi
sit?"
Iopenandshwl
ookedatme.
Me:"Usakhonkot
hanamanj
e?(Youar
ebar
king
evennow)"
Honest
lyt
hiswomandr
ainsme.
Wendy:
"Wher
eisRazor?
"
Me:
"Whatdoyouwantf
rom myhusband?"
Iputmyhandsonmyhi
ps.
Wendy:"Husbandsi
ncewhen?Pl
easedon'
tmake
melaugh"
Me:
",
whati
sthi
sthen?"
Iwavedmyr
ingandshecl
enchedherj
aws.
Wendy:
"Razor!"
Me:"getof
fmypropert
ybef
oreIcal
lthepol
iceand
ar
restyouf
ort
raspassi
ng"
Shecl
ickedhert
ongue.
Wendy:
"Iwi
llbeback"
Me:
"nextt
imeIwi
llshootyou"
She.Laughedandwal
kedof
f.Icl
osedt
hedoor
.
YohNxt hesewomen.

*
ANDI
SWA*

Itj
ustbreakti
meandIdoneedt hi
sbreakfrom my
Lit
tl
egrade5's.Theyareangelsbutcanbea
headacheattimes.Itakeoutmyl unchandmy
phoneaswel landcal
ledUnathisothatwecant al
k.
Wer eal
lyneedtotal
kandaddr esssomeissues.
NotthatIam fi
ghti
ngbutjusttomovepastt hi
ngs.
Someoneknockedonmyclassroom doorandI
l
ookedupandt hr
eegr
ade7lear
nerswal kedin
holdi
ngflower
sandamuff
inbasketwithaf r
uit
basket.
Me:
"Hi"
Learner:
"GoodMorningMrsKhumalo,
wewer
e
sentfrom t
heof
fi
cethatt
hisi
sforyou"
Me:
"Ohputi
tont
het
abl
e"
Thedoj
ustt
hat
.
Me:
"Thankyou"
Theywal
kedout.Isearchedforacar
dinthe
fl
ower
sandIfoundit.IsmiledwhenIsawwhoi
t'
s
fr
om.
"ouuhwear
egonnaeat"
Wenzi
lewal
ksin.Hercl
assroom i
snextt
omine.I
l
aughandshepull
sachairf
rom t
heki
dsdesk.
Wenzi
le:
"secr
etadmi
rer?"
Me:
"Husband"
Wenzi
le:
"Youar
elucky.Wehavet
obegf
ora
Cadbur
y"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"hei
ssweet"
Wenzil
e:"youmustbedoi
nghi
m good.Tel
lme
yoursecr
et"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"agi
rldoesn'
tki
ssandt
ell"
Wenzi
le:
"Andi
swa"
Ishookmyheadandgaveheramuf
fi
nfr
om t
he
basket
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
43] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t40
*SESETHU*
Il
ookedatmyselfthroughthemirr
orandappli
eda
bi
tofpowderontomyf aceandhegotinthe
bedr
oom andlookedatmebef oreshaki
nghishead
andgoi
ngtothedr esser.
Me:
"somet
hingwr
ong?"
Iwasgoingt
ohavel
unchwithSiyamthandatoday
andcat
chuponstuf
fthat
'sgoingoninmyl i
fe.DoI
l
etheri
nonmeandKauorIj ustkeeptomyself?"
Kau:"youdon'
tneedt
opai
ntyourf
acet
olook
beaut
iful"
Me:
"it
'scal
ledmakeup"
Kau:
"st
il
l"
Icl
osedthepowderandputmymakeupki
taway
andIwenttowar
dshim andhehel
dmywai
st.
Me:
",
doIl
ookugl
y?"
Kau:
"No,
youar
ejustbeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Kau:
"Caniki
ssyouoryouhavet
hosei
nvi
sibl
e
Li
pst
icks"
Il
aughedandkissedhi
sli
psandhehel
dmybut
t
andsqueezedi
t.Imoanedandwebroket
heki
ss.
Kau:
"MaMokoenaNana"
Il
aughed.
Kau:
"doat
urnar
ound?"
It
urnar
ound.
Kau:
"Youl
ookhotIam evenscar
edt
oletyouout"
Me:"youar
eexagger
ati
ngandIwi
lll
ett
hem l
ook
nott
ouch"
Kau:
"Iam t
heonl
yoneal
lowedt
otouch"
Me:
"yessi
r,whatshoul
dIbr
ingback?"
Kau:
"Your
sel
fsaf
ely.Cal
lmei
fyouneedmeok?
"
Me:
"ok"
Weshar
edaki
ss.
Kau:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"letmego"
HechuckledandItookmybagandthenwalkedout
wit
hhim downthestair
s.Wegotoutandhesaid
hewil
ldri
vemet hereandpi
ckmeup.WellIhope
hedoesn'
tpullt
heLukhanyost
untonmebecauseI
wil
lgocrazy.
.
.
*
BAHUMI
*

Iwassi t
ti
ngatt hecor neratt hel i
brary.Iwas
hiddenbyt hebookshel veswhi leIwasdoi ngsoe
schoolwor ksit
ti
ngont hefloor .Ihaven' tmadeany
fri
endssoIsi tallalone.Iavoi dedThapel oatal l
costst hatIevenski ppedbr eakf astthismor ning.
Todayi sal it
tl
edi fferentbecauset herewi llbea
rugbyser iessowecameoutear ly.Iwasal oneand
IknowIam al onebecauset hel ibrari
anj ustleftt
o
wher eeverandt oldmet ocl oset hewi ndowsand
switchof fthefans.TheCl eani ngladywi l
lcomei n
hereat15: 00.Sot hat's4hour sfrom now.Ihear
footstepsandIcl osemyt estbookandcr ossmy
l
egs.Myheartisbeat
ingver
yfastandIam scar
ed.
Ipeakedmyheadfrom t
hebookshel
vesandhe
stoppedhi
str
acks.
Thapel
o:"It
houghtnoonewasi
nher
e."
Ij
ustnoddedandwentbackt
omyspotandhe
camebyandsatnextt
ome.
Thapel
o:"Idi
dn'
tseeyoual
lday"
Me:
"Iwasbusy"
Thapel
o:"oh.Iwai
tedbr
eakt
imet
osi
twi
thyou"
If
eelbad.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Thapel
o:"
it
'sok"
Me:
"wher
ear
eyourf
ri
ends?"
Thapel
o:"wat
chi
ngt
hemat
ch"
Heopenedhi
sbagandtookouthisbooksandWine
gumsandopenedt
hem andoff
eredsomet ome.I
tookone.
Me:
"thankyou"
Icar
ri
edonwi
thmywor
k.
Thapel
o:"Humi"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Thapel
o:"
,Iam sor
ry,
Iwi
llal
waysbesor
ry"
Me:
"Wedi
dnot
hing.Iam sor
ryaboutKeke"
Henoddedandputawi
negum bet
weenhi
steet
h
andi
tstuckout
.
Thapel
o:"Youwantsome"
Me:
"ahThapel
oeati
t"
Thapel
o:"Comet
akei
t"
Iputmybooksdownandl
ear
nedt
otakei
tandIdi
d
andwelaughed.
Me:
"Thi
swassi
ll
y"
HeheldmycheekandkissedmeandIwasshocked.
Thi
sismyfi
rstrealki
ss.
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry"
Il
eanedinandki
ssedhim andheki
ssedmeback.
Myheartwastwer
kingandDoingst
ret
ches
ever
ythi
ng.Iheldhisf
aceandhi
sli
pswer et
inybut
didt
herighgtr
ickandi
tmademeshiver.Webr oke
i
toffandIshyedaway.Hehel
dmywai standpulled
metohim.
Thapel
o:"Iam her
eok?"
Inodded.Don'
tpeopl
esayIl
oveyouaf
teraki
ss.
Sointense.
Me:
"Thapel
oI.
..
"
Hel
ookedatme.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Hekeptqui
et
Thapel
o:"Humi"
Wewer edi
sturbedbysomeonewal
kingi
n.Iguess
hedoesn'
tfeelthesame
.
.
*
UNATHI*
AndiswacamethroughtothehouseandIl
etheri
n.
Alr
eadyIhavecookedandwasdonewi t
h
everyt
hingt
hatIneededt
odo.
Andi
swa:
"thankyouf
orseei
ngme"
Me:
"it
'sok"
Andi
swa:"Fir
stofal
lIwouldli
ketoCongr
atul
ate
youagai
nongetti
ngmar r
iedandsecondl
yist
hatI
wantustoputourdi
ff
erencesasi
de."
Me:
"met
oo."
Andiswa:"Honestl
yaft
erThat
'sSat
urdayusbei
ng
toget
her.Iki
ndofunderst
oodwhereyoucamefrom
andyourbehaviour"
Isi
ghed.
Andi
swa:
"haveyouf
eltwi
thi
t?"
Md:
"yes.Myhusbandencour
agedmet
odoso"
Shesmi
led.
Andi
swa:
"Iam gl
adt
hen."
Me:
"Howi
sthepr
egnancygoi
ng?"
Andiswa:"
it
'sst
raini
ng.TheDrsai di
nmylast
appoint
mentthatIhavetoabortt
hebabybecauseI
wouldn'
tbeabletocarr
yfullt
erm orIwoul
dloose
me"
Me:
"looseyou?"
Andi
swa:
"di
eaf
tergi
vingbi
rt
h"
Me:
"haveyout
oldNt
ethel
elo?"
Andi
swa:
"NoandIwon'
t.Iam keepi
ngt
hisbaby"
Me:
"butwhataboutZi
khaliwhowil
lloosehi
s
mot
her,whataboutNt
ethel
elo?"
Andi
swa:
"Iwi
llsee"
Me:
"Justt
ohi
m abouti
t"
Andi
swa:
"ok"
Me:
"letmegoanddi
shup"
ShenoddedandIwal
kedt
otheki
tchen.
.
.
*SESETHU*
Kaudr oppedmeof fandpromisedtofetchme.I
wentinsidetherest
urantandSiyamthandaissi
tt
ing
ther
ewhi leonherphoneandIwentt oherandsat
nexttoher .
Me:
"Gi
rl
ings"
Si
ya:
"babeshowar
eyou?Youar
egl
owi
ng"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Si
ya:
"soyousor
tedt
hingswi
thLukhanyo?
"
Me:
"noIdi
dn'
t.Webr
okeup"
Si
ya:
"Iam sor
rymyf
ri
end."
Me:
"Iam goodandhappy"
Si
ya:
"ok.Ther
eismor
etot
his.Comet
ellme"
Ilaughedandcall
edthewait
er.Weorder
edour
foodanddrinksandhewalkedoff.
Si
ya:
"NoSet
huf
astso"
Ihaven'
tsai
danyt
hing.
Me:
"mmmh"
Si
ya:
"tal
kman"
Me:
"OkIhavesomeone"
Si
ya:
"youar
efast
."
Me:
"Wehavet
omoveonatsomepoi
nt"
Si
ya:
"ok,
sof
arhowi
she?"
Me:
"Hei
sgood."
Si
ya:
"Ar
eyouser
iousorr
ebound?"
Ikeptqui
et.Honest
lyIam conf
used.
Si
ya:
"don'
tmaket
hepoorguyar
eboundset
hu"
Me:
"Iam notsur
e"
Si
ya:
"letgoofhi
mifyouar
egonnausehi
m"
Me:
"Iwon'
t.Il
oveKau"
Si
ya:
"mmmh"
Iwon'
tusehi
m atal
l.
.
.
*
KAU*
Ij
ustdr
oppedof
fSet
huf
rom herf
ri
endandnowI
am goi ngtomeetRazor .Ihavepropertiest hatI
rentoutar oundTownshipsandi t
'sdoingwel lfor
me. Yeswedohei stsbutyoucan'talwaysdepend
ont hatmoneyal one.Sethu,mmht hatwomanj ust
drivesmecr azytot
heedge.Shei stheki ndof
womanIwoul dsett
ledownwi t
hamar ry.Even
knockup, maybeIhaveknockedherupsi ncewe
haven'tbeenusi nganycondom .Icanal r eadysee
herbigst omach.Ichuckleatmyself,it'
smyt urnt
o
passt hroughandacarspeedoutf r
om nowher e
andhi tsmycar .
.
.
*SESETHU*

Iam enjoyedmylunchwit
hSiyamt
handareall
y.I
tookoutmyphonet ocal
lKausohecanfetchme
butitwenttovoi
cemail
.
Me:
"damn"
Si
ya:
"ar
eok?
Me:
"canyout
akemesomewher
e?"
Si
ya:
"sur
e"
Wepaidthebil
l.Iam angryathimfordoi
ngthist
oo
me,theyarenodifferentatal
l.Wegotinhercar
andshedroveofftohi shousewit
hmedi r
ecti
ngher
.
Whenwegott hereItoldhershecangobecause
mycarishereandshenoddedandwesai dour
goodbyesandshel eft.Iwalkedint
heyardand
sawhisfr
iendRazorcomi ngoutofthehouse.
Me:
"Hi"
Razor:
"OhIwasl ooki
ngforyouunf
ort
unat
elyI
don'
thaveyournumbers."
Me:
"Oh.What
'swr
ong?"
Razor:
"weneedt
ogot
othehospi
tal"
Me:
"what
'st
her
e?"
Razor:
"Kaui
sther
e"
Ist
art
edsweat
ing.
Me:
"uhm ok"
Hel
ockedt
hehouse.Wai
thehashousekeys?
Whatifhewal ksi
nonusnaked.Not hisi
snotonat
all
.Hedr oveoffi
twassilent
.Ij
usthopeit
'sa
minorthingandnothi
ngreall
ymajorhashappened.
Wegotatt hehospit
alandwenti
nsideandfound
someot herpeopl
ethereandIgr
eetedandthey
responded.
Me:
"What
'swr
ongwi
thhi
m ?"
Unat
hi:
"Aspeedi
ngcarcol
li
dedi
nhi
scar"
Icl
osedmyeyes.
Unat
hi:
"don'
twor
ryhewi
llbeok"
Inoddedandwesatt
her
e.TheDr
scameandweal
l
stoodup.
Dr:
"Mokoena"
Razor:
",
That
'sus."
Dr:
"Wearemonitor
inghim.Wehaver emovedthe
gl
assest
hatwereonhisskinandalsohisoneeye
won'
tworkbecauseitgotst
ainedbyglass."
Me:
"Can.
.I.
.canIseehi
m"
If
eltt
ear
spr
ickl
emyeyes.
Dr:
"sur
e"
Ifol
lowedafterhi
m andIkeptonwipingmyt ear
s.
Wer eachedhiswardandhisheadwasbandaged
aswel l
.Machinesar
oundhim .I
tbrokemyhear t
,andtothinkIwasmadf ornot
hing.Iwalkedinand
wenttohisside.Oneofhiseyeispatchedupand
theotheriscl
osed.
Me:
"Kau"
Themachi
neskeptonmakingt
hei
rsoundandI
wentonmykneesandcr
ied.
Me:
"Pl
easebeok."
Isni
ff
edandtookhi
sbrushedhandandIki
ssedi
t
gent
lyandst
oodup.Ikissedhi
sfor
ehead.
Me:"IneedyouBabepl ease,Iknowour
rel
ationshi
pisnewbutIf eell
ikeIhaveknownyou
forthelongestt
ime.Il
oveyouandwannagr ow
greywi t
hyouhavealit
tleNgwanawi t
hyouand
Marr yyouoneday.Sopl ease"
Isobbed.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
43] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t41

Razorwasn'tokandwhenhei snotfeel
ingok,I
don'teit
her.Thefrustr
ati
onandpai ninhiseyesas
wesatatt hecorri
dorchair
s, hedoesn'tknowwhat
todo.Idon' tknowwhatt odobutIj ustembrace
him andwesi ti
nsilence.Irubhisbackandcr adle
himl i
keababy.Hei smybabyatt hi
smomentas
well
.
Me:
"Hewi
llbef
ine.Hei
sst
rong"
Idon'
tknowifIam t
ryi
ngt
oconvi
ncehi
m orGodt
o
dosomethi
ng.
Razor:
"thankyouNana"
Me:
"don'
tthankme.Iam her
eal
ways"
Heper
ksmyl
ipsandNt
ambowi
thKhensanicome
out
.Theysi
tnextt
ous.
Khensani:
"shei
sawf
ul"
Weal
lkeptqui
et.
Me:
"Kau.
?"
Khensani:
"no,
Seset
huIt
hinkIam r
ight
."
Iwouldcrymyl
ungsouti
fRazorwasi
nthat
posi
ti
on.
Me:
"Ithi
nkweshoul
dpostponeaweekort
wof
or
t
heweddi
ngti
llKaui
soutatl
east"
Razor:
"wewi
llt
alk"
Inoddedandhet
ookmyhand.IhopeKauget
s
bett
er.
Me:
"anyonewhowant
scof
fee?"
Ntambo:
"Ithi
nkweshoul
dal
lgohomeandr
est
t
hentomorr
owwecancomeback."
Il
ookedatr
azor.
Razor:
"weshoul
dgetSeset
hu"
Me:
"Iwi
llgogether"
HenoddedandIst
oodupandwalkedtotheward
andIgoti
nandshewashuggi
nghislegcryi
ng.I
wentcl
osert
oherandt
ouchedherback.
Me:"Set
hucomel
et'
sgoi
t'
slat
e.Wewi
llcome
backt
omorr
ow"
Sheshookherheadsni
ff
ing.
Me:
"Seset
hu"
Seset
hu:
"Iam notl
eavi
ng.Iam notl
eavi
nghi
m"
Me:
"Seset
hubut
..
..
"
Sesethu:"No!Iam notgoinganywher
e,t
hisi
smy
boyfr
iendnotyour
ssol eave!"
Isi
ghedandturnedandwal
kedoutoft
hedoor
.I
wenttoRazor
.
Razor:
"Wher
eisshe?"
Me:
"shedoesn'
twantt
oleave"
Razor:
"(si
gh)Vi
sit
inghour
sar
eover"
Me:
"let
'sl
etherbe.Iwoul
ddot
hesame"
Razor:
"Ok."
Het
ookmyhandandwewal
kedoutoft
hehospi
tal
.
.
.
*
SIYAMTHANDA*

Ican'thelpbutwor
ryaboutSesethu,yesshehas
beeni nthegameofDati
ngsol ongbutheartbr
eaks
arerealandherjumpi
ngintoanotherrel
ati
onshipi
s
worryingme.Shemi ghtgethurttr
yingtomoveon.
"
Mam'
Khumal
o"
Me:
"mmmh"
Ayandaput
shiscarkeysonthecounterandcomes
myside.Heholdsmywaistandperksmycheek.
Ayanda:
"whathasgotmywi
fewor
ri
ed."
Me:
"Seset
hu"
Hekeptqui
et.
Me:
"shei
sdat
ingagai
n"
Ayanda:
"Shewi
llgethur
t"
Me:
"Iknowandt
hatwor
ri
esme"
Ayanda: "butsheisol
dnow.Shecanmakeherown
deci
sions.Youdi dn'
tgethur
twhenyoumoved
fr
om Tristantome, maybeshewon'
t"
Me:
"maybeIam j
ustover
prot
ect
ivef
ri
end"
Ayanda:
"Youar
eagoodf
ri
endbaby"
It
urnar
oundandgi
vehi
m aki
ss.
Ayanda:
"wher
eisSi
yanda?"
Me: "Andi
swa'
shouse.Theyar
ehavi
ngasl
eep
overther
ewit
htheother
sandMbongeni
'
ski
ds"
Ayanda:
"goodl
uckt
oNt
ethel
elobecausehewon'
t
sl
eep"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"Idi
shedupf
oryoul
etmewar
mit"
Iwenttotakehi
sfoodfr
om theovenandIwar med
i
tinthemicrowaveanditgotdoneandgaveitt
o
hi
m ashesatont hehi
ghchair.Myphoner ang
andItookit.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
Shebr
okei
nacr
y.
Me:
"Set
huar
eyouok?Di
dhehur
tyou"
Seset
hu:
"Comet
othehospi
talpl
easei
fyoucan"
Myhear
tski
ppedabeat
.
Me:
"ok.Iam onmyway"
Ihungupandr ushedoutoftheki
tchenandwentup
thestair
sandchangedfrom mysleepweari
nto
tracksui
tsandt
ookmycarkeysandmetAyanda
halfwaydownt hest
air
s.
Me:
"Ihavet
ogo"
Ayanda:
"gi
vemet
hekeys.Youar
enotdr
ivi
ng
al
oneatni
ght"
Igavehi
mt hekeysandwewal
kedout
.Iwas
worri
edal
ot.
Ayanda:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?"
Me:
"Hospi
tal"
Henoddedandst
art
edt
hecarbef
oredr
ivi
ngof
f.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Iwasreadi
ngaMagazinewhil
einbedwait
ingfor
Sandi
letobedonewit
hwhat'
sonhislapt
op, he
knowswedon'tbri
ngworki
nourbedroom buthe
sai
dit
'simpor
tantsoIl
ethi
m be.
Me:
"Iam wor
ri
ed"
Hecl
osesi
t.Fi
nal
ly,
heput
sitawayandpul
lsme
t
ohim.
Sandi
le:
"aboutwhat?"
Me:"Bahumi,
sinceshest
art
edschoolshei
smor
e
qui
et."
Sandi
le:
"maybei
t'
stheenvi
ronment
.Shewi
ll
adj
ust"
Me:"Maybe.OhIwoul
dli
ketogot
oPr
etor
ianext
week.Imi
ssDadandAndi
swa"
Sandil
e:"Wecango,
Ihavenoi
mpor
tantmeet
ing
nextweek"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Iki
ssedhim andheret
ur neditpul
li
ngmeontopof
him ,hi
shandsr oamedal lovert
hebackofmy
bodyandIbrokethekiss.
Sandi
le:
"Damn"
Igi
ggl
ed.
Sandi
le:
"comel
et'
sgoagai
n"
Il
aughedandweshar edaki ssonceagai nandhe
fl
ippedmeoverandhewasont opofme.He
openedmygownandexposedmysl eepwearforthe
ni
ght .Heranhi shandsont hel acemat er
ialand
helpedmeoutofi tandki ssedinbetweenmyboobs
andsuckedonmyni ppl
es.Heki ssedmyst omach
andheldmywai stfi
rmlyintoplaceasweshar eda
ki
ssoncemor e.Hel eansovert othedr awnextto
meandt akesoutt hecondomsandr oll
sthem out.
Ihelphim undressandputi tonandhehol dsmy
l
egsapar tbeforethr
ustinginsideandImoaned.
Me:
"Sandi
le"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Sandi
le:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
.
.
*
DINA*

Ihel
dont ot
hepil
lowast earsstreameddownmy
cheeks.Ican'
thelpbutant i
cipatethewor st.Hei
s
nothomenowandi t'
slate.It
'snotthef i
rstthis
weekit'
sbeengoi
ngonsi ncelastweekandi t
worri
esme.Maybeher eali
zedt hatlovi
ngsomeone
whocan'tgi
vehim ki
dslikemei suseless.
"
Baby"
Isnif
fandwipemyt ear
sandclosemyeyes.I
couldsmel
lhisscentashecomestomysideand
touchesmyface.
Zamani:
"Baby"
Ikeepmyeyescl
osed.
Zamani:
"Di
na"
Iopenmyeyesandwel
ookateachot
her
.
Zamani:
"What
'swr
ong?Whyar
eyoucr
ying?"
Me:
"per
iodpai
ns"
Zamani:
"di
dyoudr
inkpi
ll
s?"
Inodded.
Zamani:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:
"ok"
Zamani:
"ok.Come"
Hest
oodupandIsatupandgotof
fthebed.
Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?"
Zamani:
"come"
Iwor esli
ppersandhet ookmyhandandwewal ked
outofthebedr oom.Wewentdownt hestair
sand
ther
ewasabi gr edhear ti
nt hemiddlemadeoutof
rosepetalsandIwentt hereandt herewasacard,I
tookitanditwasempt y.It urnedtohim andhewas
gonebutt heslidingdoorwasopen.Doesheknow
howl ateiti
sfort hesegames.Iwal kedoutoft
he
sli
dingdoorandsmal lcandl eswerecreati
ngapath
wayandIgottot
heendandst
il
lthesamer
ose
pet
alshear
t.
Me:
"Zamanii
t'
slat
e"
Itur
nedar oundandhewasbehindme.Hescared
met hatIheldmychest.Hewentdownononeknee
andmyhear twasr
acingandt
earsneari
ngmyeyes.
Hebr eat
hedoutandtookoutasmallboxand
openedittoar i
ng,al
umpwassuf f
ocati
ngme.
Zamani:
"Idon'
thavemucht
osaybutcanyou
marr
yme?"
Inoddedtr
yingt
owi
pemyt
ear
s.Icoul
dn'
tspeakat
thi
spoint
.
Zamani:
"Idi
dn'
tgett
hat"
Me:
"Yes"
Hechuckl
edandsl
i
ppedi nt
her
ingi
nmyfi
ngerand
st
oodupheldmywaistandweshar
edaki
ss.
Zamani:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyouToo"
Heembr
acedme.Idi
dn'
tthi
nkhewoul
dst
il
llove
methismuch.Ithoughtourr
elat
ionshi
pwasover
af
terknowi
ngIcan'tr
eall
yconcei
ve.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Iranmyf i
ngersonhisskinsoftl
y.It
'sscaryhow
muchatt hi
smomentIl ovethismani njustashort
spaceoftime.Sodeeplyeven.Iam scaredofbeing
hurtanduam scaredofloosinghim aswel l
.My
phoneringsandit
'sSiyamthanda.It akeitand
answerher.
Me:
"hel
lo"
Si
ya:
"wher
ear
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam comi
ng"
Ihungupandstoodupandkissedhisf
orehead.I
wentouttowher
eSiyamt
handai sandshesawme
andrantohugmeandIbrokedowni nherarms.
Si
yamt
handa:
"it
'sok"
Icr
iedunt
ilIwasokandshewi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Si
ya:
"di
dhehur
tyou?Whyar
eyouher
e?"
Me:
"Hegoti
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dent
."
Ibr
okedown.
Si
ya:
"ohIam sor
ry"
Me:"i
t'
smyfaul
t.Ishoul
dn'
thaveagr
eedf
orhi
m
t
otakeme"
Si
s:"i
tcoul
dhavehappenedt
oanyone.I
sheok?
"
Me:
"Hi
seyei
sdamagedduet
ogl
ass"
Si
ya:"atl
easthewi
llsur
vive.Don'
twor
ryok.Be
st
rongforhim"
Inoddedasshecr
addl
esme"
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Af
terbat
hingmysel
fIwentt
oourbedr
oom and
Razorwaslooki
ngupt
othecei
li
ng.Iwentt
olot
ion
andgotdr
essed.
Me:
"baby"
Razor:
"mmmh"
Igoti
nbed.
Me:
"hewi
llbeok"
Henodded.
Me:
"comel
ayonmommy"
Hechuckl
edandipul
ledhi
mtol
ayonmychestand
pl
ayedwit
hhishai
r.
Me:
"Iam her
eok?"
Razor:
"hei
smyBest
fri
end"
Me:"Iknow.Y'
al
lhadbadqual
it
yinchoosi
ng
chi
cks"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"andyouar
egoodqual
it
y?"
Me:
"yes,
meandSeset
huar
egoodqual
it
y"
Razor:
"thankyouNana"
Me:
"Iwoul
dal
waysbet
her
eforyou"
Razor:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"ILoveyoumor
e."
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
44] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t42

Iwalkedoutofthebedroom i
nthemorni
ng.Razor
hasn'tbeenokthesepastf
ewdays,Il
ove
comf ort
inghi
m becausehebecomesababy.Iget
totheloungeandhei sl
ayi
ngonthecouch.Iki
ss
hisforehead.
Me:
"ar
en'
tyougoi
ngt
ocheckyourbusi
ness?"
Razor:
"Iwi
llgomi
dday"
Me:
"theDr
ssai
dhei
sget
ti
ngbet
terand
r
espondi
ngt
oanyt
hingt
heygi
vet
ohi
m"
Razor
:"yeah"
Me:"t
ellyouwhat,let'
sgotodi
nner
.Af
ancyone
andIwil
lpayforanythi
ngyouwant"
Het
urnst
ome.
Me:
"whatdoyousay?"
Henods.Il
aughandper
khi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Iwi
llseeyouAf
terwor
kok?"
Razor:
"iwi
llcomeby"
Me:
"ok.Dut
ycal
ls"
It
akemybags.
Me:
"Byebaby"
Razor:
"ByeNana"
Iwalkoutoft
hedoor
.Ihopehegetscheeredup.I
wantmymanback, Igoti
nthecaranddroveofft
o
work.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Nt
ambo:
"doyouhavet
ogo?"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Youboysar
eact
ingl
ikebabi
es."
Hecameandhel
dmef r
om behi
ndandIt
ookmy
phonef
rom t
hechar
ger
.
Nt
ambo:
"wear
eyourbabi
es"
Il
aughedandt
urnedar
oundandweshar
edaki
ss.
Nt
ambo:
"Ar
en'
tIyourbaby?
"
Me:
"youar
e"
Nt
ambo:
"maybegivingmeakissandst
ayi
ng
woul
dmakemefeelbett
er."
Me:"Thekissingyes.St
ayi
ngno.JustbecauseI
wor
kf oryoursist
eri
nlawIhavet
ost
il
lvaluemy
j
ob"
Iki
ssedhi
m andhebr
okei
t.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
ooandt
hankyou"
Nt
ambo:
"for?
"
Me:
"lovi
ngmeandpr
otect
ingme."
Nt
ambo:
"it
'smymi
ssi
on."
Me:
"thankyou"
Ihuggedhi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyougonnacr
ybecauseIwi
llpani
c"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"no."
Webr
oket
hehug.
Nt
ambo:
"ohok.Don'
tcr
y,If
eart
ear
s"
Il
augh.
Me:
"letmel
eavebef
oreIendupont
hef
loor"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam t
ouchedyouknowme"
Heputshishandonhi
schestandIl
aughr
oll
ingmy
eyes.It
akemybag.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

SchoolisNormal.Iam gl
adt hati
t'
saFr i
daytoday
andnextweekwear ewr i
tt
ingtest
ssoi t
'sgonnabe
abitbusy.SomeoneKnocksonmydoorandI
i
nstructthem t
ocomeinandsi sMer cycomesin.
Me:"sheisasl
eepbutIbat
hedandchangedher
andfedherear
ly"
Mer
cy:
"Howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam ok"
Shesatonthebedandpat
tednextt
oherandIwent
tosi
tnextt
oher.
Mer
cy:
"Howi
sschool
?"
Me:
"it
'sok"
Mercy:"ar
eyouadjust
ingwel
l.Theenvi
ronment
andeveryt
hing?"
Me:
"yes"
Li
es.
Mercy:
"youcant
alkt
omeaboutanyt
hing,
even
boys"
Il
ookedaway.
Mer
cy:
"Ok?
"
Me:
"thankyou"
Shesmi
led.
Mercy:"i
tsmypl
easur
e.CanIhavet
hebaby
monitor?"
Igavei
ttoher
.
Mer
cy:
"Iwi
llcheckuponher"
Inodded.
Mer
cy:
"come"
It
ookmybagandwewal keddownt hestai
rs.We
gr
eetedtheother
sandIsatnexttoYolandaandwe
at
e.Ihavebeenavoidi
ngThapelothesesdaysandI
woul
dliketokeepitt
hatway.V
Thapel
o:"
Iwi
llbeout
side"
Het
ookhi
sbagandwal
kedout.
Mer
cy:
"andt
hen?
"
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llt
alkt
ohi
m"
Mer
cy:
"pl
easedo"
Herhusbandnodded.Ij
ustcar
ri
edoneat
ing.
.
.
*
KAU*

Icoldf
eelt
heheavinessofmybodyl i
keIwantto
bepull
edbackbutIresist
ed.Itr
iedtoopenmy
eyesandonesucceedswi t
hastruggletokeep
openandtheotheroneisshut. It
riedtoclearmy
thr
oatbuti
tseemst obetheworstmi st
akeIhave
evermade.Ilookupt hecei
li
ngandIcl osemy
eyesagai
n
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Me:
"canIhavesomecof
feepl
ease"
Thesaleswomannodsatt
hehospi
talcaf
eter
iaand
Ipayandstandt
her
e.
"
MyDr"
It
urnedar
ound.
DrSokhel
a:"DrKhumalo'
stwi
n.Camet ovi
sitor
youwantyourl
eavetobeshor
tened."
Me:
"No."
DrSokhel
a:"youdon'
tlookok"
Me:
"per
sonali
ssues"
DrSokhel
a:"Ohapol
ogi
es."
Inoddedandgotmycof
fee.
Me:
"seeyounextweek"
DrSokhela:
"Iwantmysexypar
tnerbacknotwhatI
am seei
ng"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"Iwi
llt
ry"
Iwalkedof f
.Igoti ntheelevatorandpressedt he
fl
oorandi twentup, i
tpingedandIgotof fsipping
mycof feeandwal kedtothewar d. It
hankUnat hi
forbri
ngingstuffformet ochangei nyesterday,I
haven'thadagoodni ghtsl eepsinceKauwas
admittedandIdon' tt
hinkIwi l
l.Iwalkedinsidethe
wardandIwentt otakeaseat .Iputmycof fee
downandst oodupandki ssedhi sbustar
dl i
ps
soft
ly.
Me:
"Whenar
eyouwaki
ngup?Iam wor
ri
ed"
Heopenedhiseyeandimovebackf
ir
stbef
oreI
huggedhi
m andhegroaned.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry.Letmegogett
heDr"
Iranouttr
yingtofindhi
sdrnandIdidandwewent
backtohiswar dandhewasst i
llawake.Myheart
wasjumpingandt heDrcheckeduponhi m.He
cl
earedhisthroatandpoi
ntedatwaterandIhel
ped
hi
m drinkwater.
Me:
"ar
eyoucomf
ort
abl
e?Ar
eyouok?
"
Kau:
"canIhaveaki
ssf
ir
st?
"
Me:
"af
teryouhaver
ecover
ed"
Kau:
"Set
hu"
Hegr
oaned.Iki
ssedhi
m andhesmi
led.
Kau:
"whycan'
tIopenmyot
hereye."
Me:
"t
heycover
edi
t"
Kau:"cant
heyr
emovei
tbecauseIwantt
oseeal
l
ofyou"
Ibi
tmyl
ipandt
ear
srandownmycheeks.
Me:
"it
'sdamaged.Youwon'
tseewi
thi
tanymor
e."
Kauchuckl
edthenbecamesi
lentwhenhesawt
hat
Iwasseri
ous.
Kau:
"Fuck!"
Hesmashedmycof
feeof
fthet
abl
etot
hef
loorand
ij
umped.
Me:
"cal
m down"
Kau:
"cal
m down.!Set
hu?
!Wher
eismyf
uckeneye!
?"
Me:
"pl
easebaby"
Iwal
kedt
ohi
m andputmyheadonhi
schest
.
Me:
"calm down..youcanstil
lsee,Il
oveyouand
t
hat
'sal
lthatmatt
ers.Thatyouarebackt
ome."
Hi
sbr
eat
hingwasver
yhi
gh.
Me:
"Il
oveyou.Don'
tscar
emel
iket
hatok?"
Kau:
"Iam sor
ry"
Isni
ff
edandl
ist
enedt
ohi
shear
tbeat
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
44] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t43

*
BAHUMI*
Thecarpar
kedinf
rontoft
heschoolgat
eandwe
bot
hopenedthedoor.
Sandi
le:
"Haveagr
eatday."
WenoddedandIclosedt
hedoorandIst
art
ed
walki
ngof
fandIfel
tsomeonegrabmyarm.I
t
urned.
Thapel
o:"Humiwhat
'sgoi
ngon?"
Me:
"wi
th?"
Thapel
o:"Yourat
ti
tudetowardsmelat
ely,i
sit
aboutt
hekiss?I
fIdidsomethingwr
ongthenIam
sorr
y"
Me:
"Thapel
o"
Heletgoofmyar m andwal kedoff.Istoodthere
andlookedathi m di
sappearbef or
eIfol
lowedaf t
er
him andwentt omyowncl ass.Iam j
usttryi
ngto
avoi
dsituati
ons.Ver ysti
ckysituati
onsand
Thapeloisoneoft hem Idon'twanttobecaughtup
i
nandl ooklikeIam taki
nganadvant ageofhi s
si
ster'
skindness.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Me:
"ohmyGod.Vihaven'
thadl
unchasyett
oday.
"
Khensani:
"Nt
amboboughtl
unchf
orus"
Me:
"That
'sni
ceofmyst
epbr
other"
Shel
aughsasIsi
tdownont
hecouch.
Me:
"heydon'
t"
Khensani:
"youdobot
hactl
i
kesi
bli
ngs"
Me:
"soyoust
ayt
oget
her?"
Shwbecomessi
lent
.
Me:"Don'
ttakemeser i
ousl
ythen.Sor
ryf
or
i
nvadi
ngyourpersonall
ife"
Khensani:
"pl
easedon'
tinvadei
t"
Me:
"ok"
Shegotup.
Me:
"andt
hen?"
Khensani
:"Ihavesomet
hingt
odo"
Me:
"Khen!
"
Shewalksout
.Myphoner i
ngsandi
t'
sRazor
.It
ake
themeatandthenIanswer
.
Me:
"Myl
ozenge"
Razor:
"don'
tevercal
lmet
hatagai
nNana"
Me:
"yousai
dyouwer
ecomi
ngt
hrough"
Razor:
"Iam.Ijustgotacal
lfr
om Thehospi
taland
Kauisawake"
Me:"mmhbabyt
hat
'swonder
ful
.Let
'smeetatt
he
hospi
tal
."
Razor:
"okandt
hankyouf
orever
ythi
ng"
Me:"youar
emybabyandababymustbet
aken
car
eofbyit
smot
her"
Razor:
"Youar
emymot
her?"
Me:
"youknowIam amot
herof
fal
lthi
ngs"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Il
oveyouNana"
Me:
"Iwi
llseeyou"
Razor:
"ok"
Hehungup.Thi si
sgreatnews.Icar
ri
edoneat
ing.
Iwi
lll
eaveaf
terIam done.

.
.
*
SESETHU*

If
ixedhi
spi
ll
owpr
oper
lyandhi
ssi
tt
ingposi
ti
on.
Me:
"ar
eyoucomf
ort
abl
e?"
Kau:
"Iam f
ineskat"
Me:"Ar
eyousure?MaybeIshoul
dgoandbuya
pi
ll
owforyout
hat'
sbet
terandf
luf
fi
er"
Hehel
dmyhand.
Kau:
"rel
ax.Iam ok."
Ibr
eat
hedoutandnodded.
Me:
"doyouf
eelanypai
n?"
Kau:
"No."
Me: "mustbet heInt
rathecalAnal gesi
ait'
sapain
rel
iefmedicat
ionthatlastforabout12–24hour s
andoncei tst
artstowearof f,
thei ni
ti
alpost-
operat
ivepainshouldhaveset t
led.I
tisstr
ongpain
rel
ievi
ngmedi cati
onthatisinjectedint
oyourspine,
eit
herbeforeyouroperati
onoronceyouar easl
eep.
Kau:
"Babyyoul
ostmeatMust"
Il
aughed
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Kau:
"NoIl
iket
hatsmar
tbr
ain."
Ir
oll
edmyeyes.
Kau:
"comeher
e."
Igott
ohi
m.
Kau:
"Idon'
twantt
olooseyouovert
hesegr
eat
ly
educatedguyswhohaveaboutTwodegr ees
mast er
sandever yt
hing,Ihaveneverbeenscared
ofloosingsomeonebef or
eandIam .I t
'sworse
nowt hatIam l
oosingbodypar t
sbutwhat '
sinher
e.
Idon'tthi
nkitwi
llbelostanyti
mesoon"
Hepoint
edathi
sheart
.Ihaveneverseenhi
mthi
s
emot
ionalandi
thur
tme.Iheldhischeeks.
Me: "Youwon' tloosemeoversomethi
ngwehadno
controlover.Iloveyou,wi
thorwit
houtyoureyes.
Isti
llloveyou"
Iki
sshi
m andher
esponds,
webr
okei
t.
Kau:
"eveni
fyoul
eaveIwi
llannoyyoubacki
nto
myli
fe"
,
Il
aughed.
Me:
"justl
ikehowyouannoyedmei
ntoyourl
if
e"
Kau:
"youmeanmysheet
s."
Me:
"Got
osl
eep"
Hechuckl
ed
Kau:
"youar
escar
edbyt
het
rut
h"
Me:
"it
'sl
ies"
Hel
ooksatme.
Me:"t
hewayyouar
elooki
ngatmewi
thyourone
eyeit
'scr
eepy"
Kau:
"wear
est
uckwi
thi
t"
Igi
ggl
edandhesmi
led.
Me:
"Il
oveyouok?Don'
twor
ryaboutus"
Kau:
"Iwon'
t."

.
.
*
UNATHI*

Igotoutoft
hecarandl
ockedi
tandwal
ked
towardshi
m andweshar
edahug.
Mehaveyouwenti
nsi
de?"
Razor:
"noIhaven'
t
."
Me:
"ok.Come"
Wewalkedi
nsi
deandwentt
ofi
ndKauandSet
hu
andwegoti
n..
Kau:
"thatwasqui
ck"
Me:
"Hi"
Seset
hu:
"Hi"
Shesmi
led.
Razor:
"yougaveusaf
ri
ght"
Hehi
thi
sshoul
der
.
Kau:
"ouch!"
Me:
"Li
ndani
!"
Razor:
"Iam mad"
Me:
"no"
Kaul
aughed.
Me:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Kau:
"wewi
llseeast
imepr
ogr
esses"
Inodded.
Razor:
"Iam st
il
lmad"
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
44] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t44

[
AMONTH LATER]

"
Lovehast
rul
ybeengoodt
ome
Notevenonesadday
Ormi
nut
eIhadsi
nceyoucomemyway
IhopeyouknowIgl
adl
ygo
Anywher
eyout
akeme
I
t'
ssoamazi
ngt
obel
oved
I
'
dfol
lowyout
othemooni
ntheskyabove
Igot
,gott
otel
lyouhowyout
hri
llme
I
'
m happyasIcanbe
Youhavecomeandi
thaschangedmywhol
ewor
ld
Byebyesadness,
hel
lomel
low
Whatawonder
fulday
I
t'
ssoamazi
ngt
obel
oved
I
'
dfol
lowyout
othemooni
ntheskyabove,
above
Andi
t'
ssoamazi
ng,
soamazi
ng
Icoul
dst
ayf
orever
,for
ever
Her
einl
oveandwoul
dleaveyounever
'
Causewegoamazi
ngl
ove
Tr
ulyi
t'
samazi
ng,
soamazi
ng
Lovebr
oughtust
oget
her
,toget
her
Iwoul
dleaveyouneverandnever
'
Causewegotamazi
ngl
ove.
..
..
..
."
Ihel
dmybr
eathandwantedt
obreat
heatt
hesame
ti
me.Hesmil
edlooki
ngatmeandever
yonej
oins
i
nuni sonasIwal kclosertohi m .Dadkeepson
patti
ngmyar m andIam sur ehecanf eelhow
nervousandscar edIam.Myhear twantstojump
outofmyt hroatatthesamet imeIwantt orunout,
comebacki nandst artalloveragainjusttomake
surethisi
snodr eam atal l
.Hemeet sushalfway
anddadl ooksathimf orami nut
e.
Dad:
"Iknowwher
eyoul
ive.Iwi
llki
llyou"
Me:
"Dad,
Iam ol
d"
Dad:"Iam sur
etotreatyourauntt
hesamewayI
wantmydaughtert
obet reat
ed."
Razor:
"Yessi
r"
Dadunhookedhi
sar
m andheki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Dad:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo."
HeletgoofmeandRazort
ookmyhandandki
ssed
i
t.
Razor:
"Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"thankyou"
Past
or:
"Canwest
art?"
Wenoddedandever yoneseated.Thecer emony
start
edwithhim bl
essingusandpr oceedingto
otherevent
sthroughthewholeceremony.He
prayedforourri
ngsandwemadevowst oeach
otherandpromisetoabidbythem .Soonwewer e
pronouncedhusbandandwi feandweshar edakiss.
Everyonewashappyf orusandIwasmor ethan
happy.
Razor:
"Idi
dn'
tgetapr
operki
ss"
Me:
"haah"
Thepast
orl
aughed.
Past
or:
"shei
syourwi
fenowyoucandoanyt
hing"
Razor:
"youhear
dtheanoi
ntedman"
Heheldmybut tandki ssedme.Iwassoshyand
embarrassedafter
.Wewal kedoutofthechur
ch
andwegoti nthecar sandwear edri
vinghomenow
tochangeintothetradit
ionalat
ti
re.Al
linone.I
l
ookatmyr i
ngandhehol dsmyhand.
Razor:
"what
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"Not
hing.Ever
ythi
ngi
sper
fect
."
Il
aymyheadonhi
schest
.
Razor:
"Iti
s"
Ilookedathi
m.Wegothomeandaswegotout
thepeoplesangf
orusaswewal kedi
nsidetheyar
d
andwewentourseperatewayst ochange.Itook
offmyheelsandtheVailandKhensaniwit
hQamo
helpedmeoutofthedress,thedooropenedand
Andiswawalkedi
n.
Andi
swa:
"Hil
adi
es."
Us:
"hi"
Andi
swa:"Iwant
edtocongrat
ulat
etheMr
sbef
ore
shedi
sappear
sandileave."
Me:
"thankyouf
orcomi
ng"
Andiswa:"Thankyouf
ori
nvi
ti
ngmeher
e.Iam
happyforyou"
Me:
"Iam happyf
ormysel
f"
Andi
swa:
"Il
eftyourgi
ftwi
thMah.Ihopeyousee
i
t"
Me:
"thankyou.Iwi
llcheckl
ater"
Andi
swa: "ok.Letmel
eaveyouandgoj
oint
he
ot
hers."
Me:
"Thankyou"
Shewal
kedout.
Me:
"am Idone?
"
Qamo:
"weart
heshoes"
Iwor
et heshoesandIwor emytr
adi
ti
onaldress
andbeadsandabl anketont
opofmyshoulders.I
mademyhai rni
ceoncemor eandTheyescourted
meout.
Qamo:
"isencanel
engane!"
Shemadenoi seandthewomenandmen
accompaniedmeoutoft hegatewher
eImetRazor
al
ldressedwithNtamboandKau.Het ookmyhand
andwepar adedthewholetownshi
psingi
ng
tr
adit
ionalsongsal
laround.Imadethebest
deci
sionbyhavingourweddingthi
sway.
.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Me:
"Whi
chf
lavourdoyouwant?"
Ihol
dthesaucesi
ntheai
r.
Yol
anda:
"Tomat
osauce"
Sandi
le:
"Buybar
bequesauce"
Yol
anda:
"Daddy"
Sandi
le:
"onedayandi
t'
sgone"
Me:
"youar
eri
ght,
youwast
e"
Shesul
ked.
Me:
"don'
tgi
vemet
hatf
ace"
Sandi
le:
"Atal
l"
Me:
"shei
sst
il
lasl
eep"
Il
ookoveratLesedi
.
Yol
anda:
"Ist
hatournewbabysi
ster
.Whendi
d
mommyhaveabigstomach?"
Me:
"somemommi
eshavesmal
lst
omach'
s"
Shenoddednotunder
standi
ng.
Sandi
le:
"what
'snextont
hel
ist?
"
Me:
"babyst
uff
.For
mul
a,pamper
s,babyf
ood"
Sandi
le:
"ok"
Ipushedt
hetr
oll
ey.Shewassi
tt
ingont
hecarseat
att
achedt
othetr
oll
ey.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

"
Yebo!
"
Il
aughedandlookeddownbef
oret
urni
ngar
ound
andIshookwhatIhave.
"
Khul
umaweBozzaYami
Khul
umawes'
thandwasami
Ahh
Yonki
ntooy'
funayomayenzi
we
Khul
umaweBozzaYami
Khul
umawemunt
uwami
Ahh
Yonki
ntooy'
funayomayenzi
we
Ngi
yaziuf
unai
s'
khat
hi
Sokut
hisi
thiukuz'
khi
phakancane(
kancane)
Yonki
ntooy'
funayomayenzi
we
Ngobangawengi
wini
lengi
wini
lengi
wini
le
Ngawenawemi
nangokut
hol
awena
Wehwehweh
Ngazengabambai
Lot
to(
ngabambii
Lot
to).
..
..
..
"
Itur
nedar
oundandputmyar
msonhi
sshoul
der
s
andwesharedaki
ss.
Qamo:
"usi
siwamiKel
owangi
shi
yel
aibel
e(t
hisi
s
myol
dersi
ster!
)"
Il
aughed.
Razor:
"dancef
ormeagai
n"
Me:
"ok"
Ist
art
eddanci
ngforhi
m whi
lemi
micki
ngt
helyr
ics,
Iwoul
dsayheseemedcharmedbymymoves.
Me:
"Yonki
ntooyi
funayongi
zoyenza"
Razor:
"Wozauzoyenza(
comedoi
t)"
Ihi
thi
sshoul
der
Me:
"Ngomane"
Everyonel
aughedandhel
aughedt
ooandhel
dmy
waist.
Me:
"Youdon'
tsaysuch"
Razor:
"whatdi
dIsay?"
Ishookmyhead.
.
.
*
WENDY*
Mom f orcedmeher e.Myst omacht urnedast hey
displayedhowmucht heyloveeachot her.Iwanted
tovomi t
.Iwasangr y,Thewayhel ooksatheri t
's
l
ikehei spossessedonsomecl oud.Li kesheisthe
onlyimpor t
antt
hingint heworldever .Theywer e
danci ngnowwhi lepeopl ewerewat chingand
eating.Iwassi tt
ingwi t
hThabi saandshei shere
forKau.
Thabi
sa:"i
fhewasst
il
lwi
thmet
her
ewoul
dn'
tbe
noacci
dent"
Ikeepqui
etandshet
ouchesmyt
high.
Thabi
sa:
"sor
rychomi
"
Tear
slef
tmyeyes.
Woman:"Ani
basheshisengepl
atebahambel
abo
si
si!(Br
ingf
oodquicklysot
heseladi
escanl
eave
)"
Thabi
sa:
"it
'snotyourweddi
ng"
Woman:"andcer
tai
nlynotyour
s.Imi
ghtst
arve
you"
Shewalkedof
fandIwi pedmyt ear
s.Theycan'
t
behappyli
kethat,
No!Ibui l
thi
m andshetakes
hi
m andgetst
hedr eam weddi
ng!No!
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Me:
"Khensani!"
Shecomest
ome.
Me:
"doesUnat
hineedanyt
hing?"
Khensani:
"Notasyet"
Me:
"okt
hankyou"
Shesmil
edandwal kedoff.Ihelptheladi
esdishup
andsomegoingtoser veatthestr
etchtent
.It
's
packedf
orrealbuti
t'
saver ybeauti
fulbusyday.
Someoneholdsmef rom behind.
Kau:"Iheardyouar
ethekeyhol
deroft
he
cher
ishedroom "
Igi
ggl
ed.
Me:
"Iam "
Kau:
"Ineedsomet
hing"
Me:"Nobabyyoucan'tdr
inkanyal
coholyouj
ust
gotoutoft
hehospi
tal"
Kau:
"3weeksago"
Me:"sti
llyout
akepi
ll
s.Or
der
sfr
om t
heDrt
othe
pat
ient"
Kau:
"ok,
Iwi
llgetsomet
hingf
ort
heboys"
Ihandedt
hepl
ateoverandwi
pedmyhands.
Me:"comeIwillopenforyou,
butt
her
eist
he
mobil
efr
idgeoutside"
Kau:
"st
ocki
sfi
nished."
Ishookmyheadandwewentt ot
hebedroom andi
openedthedoorandwegoti
n.Iwenttolook
around.
Me:
"Whatdoyouwant?
"
Kau:
"Thi
s"
Iturnedar
oundandheki
ssedmesqueezi
ngmy
butt,Imoanedandwassoakeddownt
her
e.
Me:
"Kaust
opkuzomoshakal
a(i
twi
llbemessy)
"
Kau:
"Akumoshakal
e(Leti
tbemessy)
"
Heki ssedmeandIbr okeit.Hesatont hebedand
pull
edmet ohislapandweki ssed,i
twas
passionateandni ce.IfeltnauseousandIpushed
him offandr antothebathroom butIdi
dn'
tmakeit
tothet oi
letsoIvomitedont hefloor
.
Kau:
"shi
t!"
Hewalkedoutr
ushingandIcrawl
edtothetoi
let
andvomit
ed.Qamocamebackwi thhim and
cl
eani
ngsuppli
es.Icl
eanedup,wi
pingmymout h.
Qamo:
"di
dyoueatsomet
hingof
f?"
Me:
"Ihaven'
teat
ent
oday."
Ifl
ushedt
hetoil
etandfinishedcleaningup.Istood
upandQamowentoutwi ththecleaningsuppl
ies
andIwenttot
hesi nkandwashedmyhandsand
ri
nsedmymout h.Hecamecl osetomeandI
tur
nedandheldhisshouldersandcl osedmyeyes.I
si
gheddeepl
yandl
ookedathi
m.
Kau:
"ar
eyouok?
"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry?"
Kau:
"Aboutwhat?"
Me:"Ihavebeensickforsomedaysespeci
all
y
whenIsmellyourperf
ume"
Kau:
"andIchangedi
ttwi
ce"
Me:
"Iam pr
egnant"
Hel
ookedatme.
Me:
"saysomet
hing"
Kau:
"uhm Damn"
Me:
"Ohw"
Kau:
"Iam goi
ngt
obeaf
ather?
"
Inodded.HetouchedmystomachandIputmy
handsoverhi
s.Itwasinvi
sibl
e.
Kau:
"Al
it
tl
eusi
sgr
owi
ngi
nther
e?"
Inodded.Hewi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Kau:
"whyar
eyoucr
ying?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.Iam scar
edbyyou"
Kau:
"wear
epr
egnant
.Wear
eexpect
ing,
Gosh"
HehuggedmeandIhel
dont
ohi
m.
Kau:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:"Il
oveyout
oo"
Kau:
"Me,
Afat
her?
"
Ichuckl
edandsni
ff
ed.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Iwaslist
eni
ngtomusi ct
hroughmyphonet hatwas
boughtformeasIam doingwelli
nschool .Si
s
Mercyandherhusbandgot oschooleverytwo
weeksandgetreport
sonhowwear edoingi n
schoolandThapel
oisexcell
ingmorethanme.A
knockcomesfrom t
hedoorandIt akeoffmyear
phonesandgoandopent
hedoor
.
Me:
"Hi"
Hewalksinsidemyroom andIcl osedthedoor
.He
hangsaroundt hi
sgi
rlaloti
ngrade11soIhave
beendepressingmyselfinbookseversi
nce.
Thapel
o:"ar
eyouavoi
dingme?"
Me:
"yes"
Thapel
o:"whyHumi?
"
Me:
"I.
..
I.
..
"
Whati
sagoodr
easonwi
thoutsoundi
ngj
eal
ous.
Thapel
o:"t
ellme"
Me:
"it
'snot
hing."
Thapel
o:"shar
p"
Hewal
kspastmeandhel
ooksatme.
Thapel
o:"Bahumi"
Me:
"mmmh?
"
Hecomesandki
ssedmeandIki
ssedhi
m backand
Ibr
okei
tof
f.
Thapel
o:"Iwi
llseeyouwhenyouwantt
oseeme."
Hewal
ksout
.Isi
ghandgetont
hebed
.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Me:
"di
dIcompl
imentyout
oday?
"
Unat
hi:
"manyt
imes"
Me:
"wel
lIl
oveyou"
Unat
hi:
"il
oveyout
ooNgomane."
Igaveheraki
ssandr
espondedandbr
okei
t.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
45] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t45

*ANDI
SWA*

Wewal kedinsi
dethehouse.Myf eetwere
thr
obbingandswol l
en.Isatonthecouchandbent
totakeoffmyshoesandNt ethel
eloenter
edr
ight
aft
er.Thekidsarevi
sit
ingAuntyKhulisi
we.
Me:
"whataday"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"doyouneedamassage?
"
Me:
"Justwar
m wat
erbutweneedt
otal
k"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iwi
llgett
hewar
m wat
erf
ir
st"
Me:
"pl
easesi
tdowni
t'
simpor
tant
."
Hel
ookedwor
ri
ed.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"isever
ythi
ngok?
"
Me:
"It
'saboutt
hepr
egnancy"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youar
efeel
ingcr
amps?"
Me:
"cal
m down.CanIt
alk?"
Henoddedandsati
nfr
ontofmeandIsi
ghed.
Me:
"Baby,
I..
..
"
Ibecamesi
lentbef
oreIsi
ghed.
Me:
"Iwon'
tbeabl
etocar
ryt
hebabysmoot
hly"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"that
'sunder
standbutDr
scanhel
pwi
th
t
hat"
Me:"Ihavetochoosebet
weenmeandt
hebaby
andIchoosethebaby"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"whatdoyoumeanbet
weent
hebaby?
Choosi
ngwhat?"
Me:"theDrt
oldmethatmywombi snotstr
ong
enoughandit
'samir
aclethatIam pr
egnantbutI
can'
tcarr
youtbaby,
.Ihavetoaborti
t."
Hesi
ghed.
Me:"i
fIkeepi
t.Iwon'
tsur
vivebecausei
tsar
isky
pr
egnancy."
Ntet
hel
elo:
"whenyousai
dyouar
echoosi
ngt
he
babyyoument?"
Me:
"iwon'
tabor
t.Iwi
llkeepi
t"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"whataboutmelwhataboutZikhaliand
ever
yoneAndi
swadon'tmakeirr
ati
onaldeci
sions
asmuchasIhateabort
ionbutIwon'tl
etyoudie."
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elo"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Ihavemadeupmymind.Tomor
row
morni
ngwearegoingtot
heDr"
Me:
"it
'smybody,
youwon'
tjustsayanyhow!
"
If
rowned.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"YeyiIpai
dfort
hatbody,youaret
he
wi
feandIam thehusband.WhatIsaygoes"
Me:
"nowyousoundabusi
ve"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam put
ti
ngmyf
ootdown"
Me:
"mxm"
Ntethel
elo:
"eveni
fyoucanswearatmeIdon'
t
care."
Hewal
kedupt
hest
air
s.
Me:
"Ar
ghNt
ethel
elo!
"
Ithr
ewmyphoneont heot
hercouch.Iam not
abort
ingt
hisbaby.
.
.
*
DINA*

Iwascookingani cemeal t
oday, Iwanttospoilmy
fi
ance.Ihaven'tmadeacal lathomeandIl ast
stoppedcall
ingthetimeIhadt obur ymysister
.
Thedoorbellrangandit ur
neddownt heheatand
wipedmyhandsbef oregoi
ngt oattendthedoor
andIopenedi tandstoodabeaut i
fulwomanont he
doorstep.Shesmi l
edshylyandIdi dt
hesame
confused.
Her:
"hi"
Me:
"Hihowar
eyou?"
Her:
"Iam l
ooki
ngf
orMrZamaniKhumal
o"
Me:
"hei
snotcur
rent
lyher
e"
Her:
"whoar
eyou?"
Me:
"hi
sfi
ancee"
Her:
"Ohok"
If
rownedandbentdownonthesi
deandsherose
upwit
ha1yearoldlooki
ngbabyboyandmyheart
st
art
edbeati
ngfast.
Her:
"Iwon'
tbeabl
etot
akecar
eoft
hem ,
Pleasedo
"
Shehandedtheboytomeandtheshecomeswit
h
ababygirl
.Ifeel
tear
spr
ickl
i
nghereyesandshe
ki
ssesthem.
Her:
"mommywi
llbeback"
Me:
"uhm putheront
hecouch"
Shetookthei
rbagsandwewal kedinsi
de.She
pl
acedthem andshesaidgoodbyeandwal kedout.
Il
ookedatthesekidsandIhavenodoubtthatthey
arehi
s.Ifeelhur
tandbroke. Itakeof
fmyr ing
andIcry.
.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Mer
cy:
"Lesedii
ssuchanangel"
Ismiledf
aint
lyandl
ookedovert
oThapel
owhowas
playi
ngwithhisf
ood.
Mer
cy:
"haveyouwr
it
tenyourt
est
s?"
Me:
"justaf
ewdaysl
eftbef
orewest
art"
Mer
cy:
"Ihopeyouar
ebot
hst
udyi
ng"
Ismi
ledf
aint
lyoncemor
e.
Thapel
o:"Iwi
llbei
nthebedr
oom "
Hest
oodup.
Mer
cy:
"yourf
ood"
Hecar
ri
edonwal
king.
Me:
"Ihavet
ogost
udy"
Mer
cy:"Ok.Youcango,
Lesediwi
llsl
eepi
nour
r
oom "
Inodded.Iwal
kedupt
hest
air
saf
tert
hat
.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Me:
"bedt
ime"
Phi
la:
"canIsl
eepwi
tht
hebaby?
"
Me:
"Tomor
rowhoney"
HenoddedandikissedhischeekandYolanda'
s
andthenwenttothedoorandswit
chedoffthe
l
ight
sbeforewalki
ngout.Iwenttoourbedroom
andSandil
ewaspl ayi
ngwit
hLesedi'
dfi
ngers.
Sandi
le:
"Don'
tyouwantust
ohaveanot
herbaby?
"
Me:
"thi
swi
llbeourbabyf
ornow"
Hechuckled.Iwenttothebat
hroom t
opeeand
thenIwalkedoutandchangedint
omynightwear
andgitinbednexttot
hem.Lesediwasinthe
middle.
Sandi
le:
"Whatdoyout
hinki
swr
ongwi
tht
hem ?"
Me:
"Iam wonder
ing"
Henodded.Il
aidnextt
othem andwebot
hlooked
atLesedi
.
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Ifeeltir
ed.Mybodyf eelswor noutandIj ustneed
thebedandapi ll
owandt henIcanr el
axi ntosleep.
Peopl estar
tedleavi
ngal ongt imeago.Justt hose
smal lpeopl
ewhoar estillhavingal cohol.Thewhol e
familyleftt
hough.Ijumpedont hebedandt ookoff
myshoesandcr awl
edtot hepil
lowst il
linmydr ess
andIcl osedmyeyes.Ahsl eep,justwhatIneeded.
Someoneki ssesmyf or
eheadandIopenmyeyes.
Razor
:"sl
eep"
Inodded.
Me:
"comebacksoon"
Razor:
"Iwi
ll
"
Icl
osedmyeyesandIdozedof
ftosl
eep.
.
.
*
DINA*

Iwassi tt
ingbythebedr oom balconyatt hemai n
bedr oom anddr i
nkingsomeofhi swhi sky.Ijust
drinkandchuol dabitthinki
ng.Theki dsar elayi
ng
ont hebedandi twasn'tahassleget t
ingt hem there.
Ijustbat hedthem.Fedt hem andgott hem t osleep.
ThedooropenedandIknowhei swal kingin.The
l
ightsar eof fandonlythemoonshi ni
ngout si
de.
Thecol dbreezeisdoingnothingt omyski n,
doesn' tfeelascoldasIam att hismoment .
Zamani:
"it
houghtyouwoul
dbeasl
eep"
Hecomescl
oserandhei
sst
andi
ngnextt
ome.I
t
akeasi
poncemor e.
Zamani:
"youar
edr
inki
ng?"
Me:
"it
'sneeded"
Zamani:
"let
'sgetyout
obed"
Me:
"theki
dsar
eont
hebed"
Zamani:
"whatki
ds?"
It
ookthelastgul
pandgroanedbef
orelooki
ngat
hi
m andwalkedinsi
de.Iopenedt
hesidelampand
i
tli
tuptheroom abit
.
Me:
"yourki
ds,
1yearol
ds"
Zamani:
"canwet
alk?"
Ishookmyheadandt
ear
slef
tmyeyes.
Me:"Ican'
ttal
ktoyou.Iam notgoodenoughI
know"
Zamani
:"don'
tsayt
hat"
Me:
"it
'st
rue"
Iwalkedtothedoorandhecameandpull
edmy
armtohischestandheldme.Icoul
dn'
tfi
ghtmy
bodyoffhis.I
thurt
s,Ifeel
sohur
tli
keIam st
abbed
at
housandt
imes.
Zamani:
"itwasami
stake.Onemi
stakeandIam
sor
ry"
Isobbed.
Me:
"Ican'
t.I
thur
ts"
Zamani:"Iam sor
rybabybutdon'
tleaveme.
Pleasedon'
t"
Ishookmyhead.
Zamani:
"(sof
tl
y)pl
ease"
Hehel
dmet
ight
.Myhear
tisachi
ng.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

EveryonewasalreadyasleepandIwasst i
ll
studyi
ngf ormytest
.Iam notsmar tsoIneedto
studytwiceashard.Itr
yamat hquest i
onbutIget
stuckandendedupnotdoi ngit.It
hinkofThapel
o.
MaybeIshouldaskhim what'
swr ongbecausei
t'
s
creat
ingt
ensionaroundthehouse.Igetof
fmybed
andIwalkedtohisroom andknockedli
ghtl
yand
checkedthecoast
.Ijustopenedthedoorandhis
si
delampopenedashesatup.
Thapel
o:"Bahumi"
Uncl
osedt
hedoor
.
Me:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Thapel
o:"aboutwhat?"
Ne:
"ever
ythi
ng"
Thapel
o:"i
t'
syouwhoi
sact
ingwei
rd"
Me:
"Iam not
."
Thapel
o:"youar
e"
Me:"youst
art
edhangi
ngwi
tht
hatgi
rlf
rom gr
ade
11andfor
gotwhoIam "
Thapel
o:"t
hat
'sabsur
dBahumi"
Me:"l
ookevenyouevensayabsur
bli
kei
t'
san
ast
oni
shi
ngword"
Thapel
o:"whati
fit
'
sast
oni
shi
ng"
Me:
"youar
enotmaki
ngsense"
Thapel
o:"comeher
e"
Iwentcl
osert
othebedandsatoni
t.
Thapel
o:"Idon'
tbi
teHumi
"
Imovecl
oser
.
Thapel
o:"
eversi
ncet
heki
ssyouavoi
dedme"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
obei
ntr
oubl
ewi
thyoursi
ster"
Thapel
o:"wear
enothavi
nganot
herbabyBahumi"
Ilookedathi
m andhecamel
oser
tomeandhi
s
facewasinches.
Thapel
o:"t
ellmeyoudon'
tfeelanyt
hing"
Me:
"Idof
eelsomet
hing"
Heki
ssedmeandIcl
osedmyeyesandr
esponded,
hebr
okeit
.
Thapel
o:"t
henl
etmei
nBahumi"
Ibi
tmybott
om l
ipsandnodded.Hepulledme
i
nsi
dethebedandkissedmeandIresponded
bef
orehegotontopofmeandIclosedmyeyesas
hehel
dmywai st.Hesepar
atedandgotbet
ween
mylegsandIlockedt
hem onhiswaist
.
Thapel
o:"Il
oveyouBahumi"
Iopenedmyeyesandheki
ssedmyneck.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Weshar
edaki
ssagai
n.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
45] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t46

*
SESETHU*
Me:"numr ousnumber sofmodelsweredevel oped
tohel
passessordescr i
bethecur
rentlevelof
i
nformati
ont echnol
ogyadopti
oni
nt hehealth
sect
or.Theyar eusef
ulbenchmar
kswhenl ooking
atpati
ent
i
nfor
mat
ionsyst
ems."
DrSamuel
s:"
whati
sthat?
"
DrNzama:
"Mat
uri
tyandadopt
ionmodel
s"
Me:
"yes.TheWor l
dheal
thor
gani
zat
ionknownas
WHOreleasedwasontothi
ski
ndofheal
th
i
mpr
ovingt echnol
ogy"
Si
ya:
"wehavet
hati
nhospi
tal
s."
Me:
"Iunder
standt
hat.
..
."
DrNzama:"Mostl
yinPr
ivat
ehospi
tal
sthan
gover
nmenthospi
tal
s"
Me:"ort
heydohaveingover
nmenti
nhospi
tal
sjust
notasadvancedandi
mproved."
DrSmi
th:
"Ihearyou"
Me:
"yes,t
heseel
ect
roni
cpat
ienti
nfor
mat
ion
syst
emshavet hebeenseenaspot enti
alt
o
i
mpr oveheal
thbygi vingusandmanymor eheal
th
prof
essional
simpr ovedinformati
onaboutour
pati
ents.
Weal soimpr ovethequalit
yofhealt
hcare
andhelpcontrolcoststhroughimprovedeff
ici
ency.
"
Si
ya:
"whati
sthepoi
ntofal
loft
his?"
Me:"Wear eadevel
opingcountry.Asonewehave
r
esourcesdevel
opedcount r
iesmayhaveandsome
wedon't,mypointi
sweneedyourhusbandt ohel
p
i
mproveourHealthsystem j
ustli
ketheAndr
oids,
i
t'
sgreatbusi
nessforhim andhestart
edsmall
f
rom Fixi
ng..
..
"
Si
ya:
"headphones"
Me:"exact
lytocreati
ngmovinglimbst
hatarenow
i
mprovingpeople'
shealt
hmor ethanweknow.
Nowtheycanexer ci
seandcarryonwit
hli
feli
kea
f
ull
yli
mbedper son."
Si
ya:
"Iwi
llt
alkt
ohi
m"
Me:
"Smi
th?"
Smit
h:"AstheownerIl
ikethei
deaofi
mpr
ovi
ng
al
otofourHospi
talf
aci
li
ti
es"
Me:
"thankyou"
DrNzama:
"Neverwoul
dhavet
hought"
Me:
"goodi
nfopar
tner"
Wehi
ghf
ive.
DrSmi
th:
"Wehavet
oat
tendourpat
ient
s."
Inodded.Wegotr eadytoleaveandIfel
ttheneed
tovomit.Irant
othesinkandIvomitedandIrinsed
mymout h.
Si
yamt
handa:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"yesIam ok"
Shel
ookedatmeasIgotdone,
icl
osedt
hewat
er.
Me:
"Don'
tTel
lanyone"
Si
ya:
"li
keIwoul
d"
Ir
oll
edmyeyes.
Me:
"Iam pr
egnant"
Si
ya:
"woahyouar
ehavi
ngLukhanyo'
schi
ld?
"
Thesmi
leonmyf
acedi
sappear
ed.
Me:
"Shi
t!
"
Si
ya:
"what?"
Ipacedupanddown.
Me:
"NowIdon'
tknowwhot
hef
atheri
s"
Si
ya:
"St
hut
hisi
scar
eless."
Isatdown.
Si
ya:"cal
m down.For
getLukhanyoandcar
ryon
wi
thyourboo"
Me:"Whati
fit
'snothi
s?OhmyGodKauwi
llgo
cr
azy"
Si
ya:
"wewi
llcr
osst
hatbr
idge"
Me:
"Iam socar
eless."
Si
ya:
"ithappened.Justdon'
tthi
nkt
oomuch"
Isighed.Ihopei
t'
snotLukhanyo'
s.Kauwi
llbe
crushed.Iam cr
ushed.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*

Me:
"Baby!
"
Razor:
"Mmmh?
"
Me:
"whatdoyouwantmet
ocook?"
Razor:
"Uhm anyt
hingt
hatcomesi
ntomi
nd"
Me:
"ok"
Iki
sshi
scheek.
Me:"shoul
dert
akeAnel
enowornextweekorwe
l
ethi
m choosewhohewantst
oli
vewith"
Razor:"wecanrevi
sitt
hatabi
tlat
er,
weneedt
o
t
hinkthist
hrough"
Me:
"Iagr
ee."
It
ookthepr
esent
s. Iopenedt
hem andi
twas
ut
ensi
lsmostl
yandhomeappli
ences
Me:
"ther
ear
ethr
eest
eam i
ronsal
ready"
Razor:
"wecoul
dsel
ltwosomewher
e"
Me:
"yeahwedon'
tneedt
hismuch.Oht
hisi
s
f
rom Andi
swa"
It
ookt
heboxandl
ookedatt
henot
e.
*
**Af
teral
ongdayofwi
fedut
ies*
**
Iopenedi
tandi
twasaf
ootmassage.
Me:
"ooouh,
wil
ltackl
ethi
swi
fet
hingpr
ett
ygood"
Razor:
"Iam sur
eit
smentf
orme"
Me:
"hayi"
Iputever
ythingthatwasscat
ter
edont hebedback
i
nsideit
soriginalpl
aceandst
artedpacki
ngaway.
Razor:
"comeher
e"
Me:
"mmmh"
Razor:
"comeher
e"
Iwentt
ohi
m andhepul
ledmet
ohi
slap.
Razor:
"Ihavebeenhavi
ngdr
eams"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon?"
Razor:"it
'susget
ti
ngmarri
edthenaf
terweare
happy, downthel
ineyoumeetmymot herandshe
takesyourhandandmyhandandwal ksoffwit
hus
t
ell
ingusi
t'
sal
ri
ght"
Ikeptqui
et.
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
hatmeans"
Razor
:"Met
oo"
Me:"Maybei
tmeansshei
sbl
essi
ngusf
rom t
he
ot
hersi
de"
Hesmi
led.
Razor:
"thatmeanssomuch"
Me:"Iknowhowmuchyouwishedshewasher
e
butsheisl
ooki
ngdownonyou"
Razor:
"Iknow"
Iki
ssedhi
m.
Me:
"letmegoandcookf
ormyhusband"
Hesmi
rked.
Razor
:"andt
hedeser
tneedst
obespoton"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryi
twi
llbecr
eamy"
Wesharedachuckl
eandIki
ssedhi
sli
psbef
ore
goi
ngoutofourbedr
oom.
.
.
*
KHENSANI
*

Iwasstandi
ngbytheki
tchenfr
ust
rat
edwiththe
ket
tl
enotturni
ngonyeti
tisnew.Ireal
lydon'
t
under
stand.
Me:
"ar
gh!
"
"Whyar
eyousogr
umpyi
nthemor
ning?
"
It
urnedandhel
ookedatme.
Me:
",
theket
tl
ewon'
ttur
non"
Het
urnedi
tonandi
twor
ked.
Me:
"thankyou"
Nt
ambo:
"That
'ssexualf
rust
rat
ion"
Hest
andsbehi
ndme.
Me:
"No,
Ijustwokeupf
rust
rat
ed."
Nt
ambo:
"mmmh,
let
sseei
fit
'snot"
Heki
ssesmyneck.
Me:
"Iam st
il
lscar
edofyou"
Hechuckl
ed.
Ntambo:
"butDumamshi
nihasf
oundcomf
orti
nhi
s
home"
Me:
"hehast
obest
rong."
Herunshi
shandsundermysi
lkni
ghtdr
esst
omy
but
tandsqueezedi
t.
Me:
"Fezi
le"
Nt
ambo:
"tel
lmeyoudon'
tfeelt
hat"
Me:
"st
opi
tiam t
ryi
ngt
omakesomet
ea"
It
aket
het
eabagsandpopi
nthecup.
Nt
ambo:
"ort
his"
Hesqueezesi
tagai
n.
Me:
"st
opi
t."
Isl
appedhi
shandsandwentt
opoursomewat
er.
Nt
ambo:
"ort
his"
Hehel
dmybut
tandspankedi
t.
Me:
"Fezi
le!"
Hechuckl
edandihi
thi
schest
.
Me:
"st
opt
hat!
"
Het
akesmycupandput
sitdownandpi
cksmeup.
Nt
ambo:
"ther
ear
est
il
lthi
ngsyouneedt
ofeel"
Me:
"putmedown!
"
Nt
ambo:
"youar
enotr
unni
ngawayt
oday"
Hekissedmyli
psandIendeduprespondedtohi
s
ki
ss.Hegoesandl aysmeonthecouchandgets
onmeandweshar eakiss.IcNf
eelhisshaf
ton
mythighpoki
ngit
.
Nt
ambo:
"hei
sreadyf
oryou"
Me:
"who?"
Nt
ambo:
"Dumamshi
ni"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"heshoul
dhi
deagai
n."
Nt
ambo:
"nah,
Iwantt
ohearyoucr
y"
Me:
"li
ke?"
Nt
ambo:
"ohMt
hombeni!
"
Il
aughedandheki
ssedme.
Nt
ambo:
"woul
dyoudot
hat?
"
Ishookmyheadandhesmi
rked"
Nt
ambo:
"wewi
llsee"
Me:
"yeswewi
llsee"
Her anhisf
inger
sundermynightdr
essandhe
squeezedmyboobsandkissedme, hewenton
caressi
ngme.
.
.

*
BAHUMI*

Lastni
ght,
nothinghappened.Wekissedand
deci
dedtosl
eep, Iam gl
adwechosetodosoatthe
sametimeIam scared.Thapel
odi
dn'tsaymuch
youknowsoIam notsur ewhat '
sreall
yhappening.
MondayIst artwri
tt
ingandIam mor et hanready,I
haven'tspentmucht i
mewi t
hLesedi.Yesshei sa
fewmont hsbutIdol i
kethosemomentwhenIj ust
l
ookather.Si sMer cyandherhusbandhavet aken
overherbutIam notcompl ai
ning.Iwal keddown
thestair
saftercl
eaninginmyr oom andf oundSis
Mercyandt heothersmakingbr eakf
ast.
Yol
anda:
"Iam cover
edi
nfl
our"
Phi
la:
"andt
hebabyt
oo"
Mercy:
"sorr
ybabies, comel
et'
sgobat
hyoual
l
andgetyououtofthosepyj
amas."
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Mer
cy:
"mor
ning,
howdi
dyousl
eep?"
Me:
"wel
landyou?"
Mercy:"shewasanangel
.Letmegobaththem
andchangethem ,
Thapel
ocheckther
estoft
he
pancakesandBahumihel
pyoursel
f"
Inoddedandshetookfrom t
hebabyseatont
he
counterandt
hel
it
tleonesfol
lowed.I
twasabitofa
mess.
Me:
"thi
swasmessy"
Thapel
o:"t
ryt
hisone.Madebyme"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"putt
heambul
anceonspeeddi
al"
Thapel
o:"mxm"
Wel
aughedandKat
ethepancake"
Me:
"notbad"
Thapel
o:"i
t'
sawesomeIi
n"
Ir
oll
edmyeyes
Thapel
o:"Iam cover
edi
nfl
our,
justasi
mpl
ehug
andyouwillt
oo"
Me:
"no,
aski
es"
Hechuckl
edandwest
art
edcl
eani
ngupt
heki
tchen.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*
Smi
so:
"yest
erdaywaswonder
ful
"
Il
ookedathi
m."
Smi
so:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Hesatont
hecouchnextt
ome.I
sughed.
Me:
"Idon'
tfeelgood"
Smi
so:
"about
?"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"Iwi
llbeok"
Ihel
dhi
shand.
Smi
so:
"Iam wor
ri
ed"
Me:
"don'
tbe"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Smi
so:
"ifyousayso"
Inodded.DeepdownIwant edt
otel
lhim aboutt
he
dream Ihadof
fmysi st
er,hi
sdaughterandmy
ni
ecebutIcan't.Idon'
twanttoworr
yhim, Iwil
l
j
usthavet opr
ayaboutit.I
tworr
iesmeal ot
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
46] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t47

*
DINA*

Iwokeupi ntheguestbedr oom andfeeli

ngempt y.
Ifel
tli
kemyhear twasbl eedingmyandmyt hroat
wasal sosor e.Isni ffedandgotof ft
hebedand
madei tbef orewal ki
ngoutoft hebedroom door.I
wenttot hemai nbedr oom andIdidn'
tseetheki ds
onthebeandnei therZamanii nsight.Iwentto
washmyf aceandbr ushmyt eethbeforewalki
ng
outoft hebedr oom downt hest ai
rsandIhear d
peoplet alkingandsi lencefil
ledtheroom onceI
enter
ed,Istoppedmyt racksatthelastst
epand
scannedmyeyes.Iam angr ythathecall
edhis
famil
y,Iam angrythathedoest hisandnowhe
wantshisfamilyt
ointer
venel i
ketheywerethere
whenhecheat ed.
MeKhumal
o:"Mydaught
er"
Il
ookedatZamaniwhol
ookeddown."
Me:
"Hi"
MrKhumal
o:"pl
easet
akeaseat"
Iwasn'tdr
essedproper
ly.Iwassti
lli
nmynight
wearbuthedidn'
tseem tomind.It
ookthef
leece
offt
hecouchandsatnexttoTheauntwhosmi l
ed
andIretur
nedit
.
MrKhumalo:
"wear
esor
ryt
oinvadeyourspace
l
iket
his"
Me:
"it
'sok,
it'
sever
yone'
sspace"
Zamanicl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
."
Zamani
:"Baby.
."
MrKhumal
o:"l
etmespeak"
Hekeptqui
et.
MeKhumal o:"wehavebeeninf
ormedofthe
unfai
thf
ulnessofmyson,leadi
ngint
obri
ngi
ngt
wo
l
ives."
Me:
"sor
ryt
oint
err
upt"
Henodded.
Me: "Ifhelovedmet hewayheusedt olietomeall
theseyear sthenhewoul dn'thavecheated.No, i
t'
s
notthatamanhasneeds.It ri
edmyver ybestto
Carterallhisneedsandbeyondwhathappens
betweent hesheets.Iwasl ikealivi
nginhousewife
whenIwasn' tevenmar r
iedt ohim .Iobeyedwhat
heputacr ossandgavehi m aplatformtobeaman
i
nmyl if
ebutIguessIdi dt hattoomuch.Iwasn' t
doinganygoodf orhi!WhenIt houghtIwas. .
"
MrKhumalo:
"wehearyouandwear
edeepl
ysor
ry
f
oroursonsmist
akes."
Ishookmyhead.
Me: "Cheat
ingisneveramist
ake.Youcheat
becauseit'
syourchoice.Nei
therar
ethoset
wo
ki
dsami
stake."
Aunt
y:"
whatdoyoumean?"
Me:"Idon'
tknow.Ij
ustdon'
twantt
obeher
eatt
he
momentIam sorr
y"
Istoodupandwalkedupthestai
rs.Igoti
nthe
bedroom andt
ookoutasuit
caseandIstart
ed
thr
owingmyclothesi
n.Ifeelhi
sarmswr apar
ound
me.
Zamani:
"pl
easedon'
tleave.Iam sor
ryLi
neo"
Tear
slef
tmyeyes.
Zamani
:"BabyIwast
hef
ir
standl
astt
ime."
Il
ovehi m, Ilovehim somuchbutIcan't.Knowing
Iwon' tbeabletogivehim ki
dsandtheirmother
mi ghtcomeback, knowi
nganotherwomangave
him whatIdesi redtogi
vehim.WhatIcannotever
giveyohi m breaksmemor ethanhischeati
ng.It
hur t
smet hathewentoutt hereandcamebackwi t
h
whatIdesi redtogivetohi
m anditfeell
ikeadagger
i
sst abbingmei nmyheartandlungs.Iholdmy
chestast earsgodownmycheeks.It r
ytobreathe
butpr
ovest
obedi
ff
icul
t.
Zamani:
"br
eat
hesl
owl
y,t
ryt
obr
eat
he"
Itrytobr
eathbutitget
smor edif
fi
cul t
.Imakehand
suggesti
ontohim andIgoonmykneesandhe
rushesoff.Itr
ytotakedeepbreathsatleastbuti
t'
s
sti
llt
hesame.Hecomesbackandheput smy
headonhi slapasheputsmymedi cati
onnextto
him.
Zamani:
"Iam gonnapumpandyoui
nhal
e"
Hepumpedmyinhal
erasIcl
osedmyeyesand
i
nhal
ed.Hekeptongoi
ngandbrushi
ngmyhai
r.
Zamani:
"br
eat
he.Youar
eget
ti
ngt
her
e"
Itr
iedt
obreat
heandhedidagai
n.Ist
artedt
ocal
m
down.Hebrushedmyhead.Ihaven'
tusedmy
asthmapumpinyear
s.
Zamani:
"ar
eyouok?"
It
ookadeepbreat
handnoddedsl
owl
y.Heki
ssed
myfor
ehead.
Zamani:
"youscar
edme"
Il
ookedatt
hecei
li
ngandbl
inkedmyeyescl
osed.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Itookmycarkeysof ft
hebedr oom tableandI
walkedout .Thearomacomi ngfr
om thekitchen
wasget ti
ngmyst omachgr umbli
ng.Ibi tmy
bottom l
ipwhenIsawhermovear oundt hekitchen
andi tf
it
tedtheimageper fectl
y.Iwal kedinsi
de
andwentt oholdherwai standkissedherneck.
Unat
hi:
"Iam busy"
Shesmi
led.
Me:"whenIcomebackIdon'
twantt
ofi
ndyou
busy"
Unathi:
"youwon'
t.Youwi
llf
inddeser
tbef
oreand
af
terdinner"
Me:
"letmest
ayt
hen"
Unat
hi:
"no,
goanddoyourst
uff.Iam notgoi
ng
anywher
e"
Ismi
ledandki
ssedher"
Me:
"ok"
Iturnedandwalkedoutt
omycar.Igotinsi
deandI
droveoff,myphonerangandIsear
chedforitandI
founditthenanswer
ed.
Kau:
"MrHusbandoft
hecent
ury.Gr
eatweddi
ng"
Me:
"(chuckl
e)howar
eyou?"
Kau:
"good.Ver
ygood"
Me:
"Seset
hut
reat
ingyougood?"
Kau:
"somuch"
Ichuckl
ed.
Kau:
"what
'swr
ongyousoundof
f"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tsl
eepgood"
Kau:
"fi
rstni
ght
sar
eli
ket
hat"
Me:
"Idr
eamtofMa"
Hekeptqui
et.
Kau:
"andwhatwasshedoi
ng?
"
Me:"itwasourweddi
ngandaf
teri
tshet
ookour
handsandwalkedwit
hus"
Kau:
"maybeshei
sbl
essi
ngyouguys"
Me:
"wet
houghtsot
oo"
Kau:
"theniti
s.Ifyoudon'tfeelgoodaboutt
he
dr
eam oryouhaveitagai
nj ustconsul
t"
Me:
"sot
heheal
ercanr
evealmydi
rt
.Never"
Hechuckl
ed.
Kau:
"Iam pl
ani
ngahei
st"
Me:
"countmei
n"
Kau:
"2mi
ll
ion"
Iwhi
stl
ed.
Me:
"meandyou?"
Kau:
"andNt
ambo"
Me:
"weshal
lmeetup"
Kau:
"sho"
Me:
"ok"
HehungupandIputmyphoneaway.That '
sa
reall
ygoodone.It'
sbeenlongsi
ncewewentona
heist.Igottot
heChi
sanyamaandgotoutand
peoplestart
edwhi
stl
ingandcl
appi
ngloudl
y.I
chuckled
"
Ah!mRay,
usebenzi
le(Razodyoudi
dwel
l)"
Ishookmyheadandgavethekeystooneoft
he
carwashi
ngboysbef
orewalki
ngtowar
dsthei
nsi
de.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Thabi
sa:
"Iam gi
vinguponKau"
Me:
"hawuandt
hen?
"
Thabi
sa:
"ar
ghi
t'
sawast
eofmyt
ime"
Me:"yest
erdayyouwereatt
heweddi
ngf
orhi
m
t
odayyoudon'twanthi
m ?"
Thabi
sa:
"ther
ear
eplentyoff
ishi
nthesea,
Ithi
nkI
shoul
dhookyouupwithsomeone"
Me:
"no,
Iwantr
azor"
Thabi
sa:
"gi
vei
tupf
ri
end"
Ishookmyhead.
Thabi
sa:
"hei
smar
ri
ed"
Me:
"st
opr
emi
ndi
ngme"
Idrankmyci
derandIsawRazorget
ti
ngoutofhi
s
carandwal
kingt
owardsus.
Me:
"Iwon'
tgi
veup"
HewalkedpastusandIlookedathi
m.Mmmha
bandaroundhi
sfingerl
ooksgoodonhi
m.Ifonl
yit
wasmine..
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Iwassi
tt
ingont
hecouchgoi
ngt
hrought
he
channelsont
vwhi
leNt
ethel
elocamedownt
he
stai
rs.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"let
'sgoAndi
swa"
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elo"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"let
'snotf
ightoversomet
hingpet
ty
pl
ease"
Me:
"ourchi
ld'
sli
vei
spet
tyt
oyou?"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"pl
easedon'
tcauseunecessar
ydr
ama
andputwor
dsinmymout h"
Me:
"mxm."
Nt
ethel
elo:
"shoul
dIcar
ryyouout?"
Ne:"noiwi
llwal
kmysel
f.Iwon'
tfor
giveyouf
or
t
his"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"andIwoul
dn'
thavef
orgi
venmysel
ffor
l
etti
ngyoudi
ewhenther
ewasanoption"
Ii
gnor
edhi
m andwal
kedupt
hest
air
s.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"hur
ry"
AsIdi
sappear
edt
ear
srandownmycheeksand
wi
pedt
hem whi
let
ouchi
ngmyst
omach.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Ihel
dmythr
oatandsni
ff
edbef
oregoi
ngi
ntoour
bedr
oom.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Icouldn'
tconcerntrat
ealotduri
ngtheti
meIwas
workingandIam gl adIam notdoinganyoper at
ion
oranythi
ngt hatrequi
resmyf ul
lmindedattenti
on.I
fi
nishmyf i
rstroundandIgot omyof fi
ceandi t'
s
open.Iwalki nandIf i
ndKausitti
ngonthet able
andIsmi l
edandcl osedthedoorandwal kedtohi m.
Me:
"whatbr
ingsyouher
e?"
Kau:
"camet
oseemywoman"
Ismi
ledandper
kedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"ni
cesur
pri
se"
Hetookmyhandandpl
acedasmal
lCr
ist
al
di
amond."
Me:
"whati
sthi
sfor?"
Kau:
"whati
tsymbol
izesyou"
Me:
"wher
edi
dyougeti
t?"
Kau:
"itdoesn'
tmat
ter
.Keepi
tsaf
e"
Me:
"ok"
Hegotof
.Thet
abl
eandhel
dmywai
st.
Kau:
"howi
smyl
it
tl
eone?"
Iswal
lowed.Her
ubbedmyst
omach.
Me:
"good"
Kau:
"tr
eatmommygoodi
nther
e"
Ifai
ntl
ysmil
ed.Ihel
dhishand.Ihopet hi
sisour
babyandnotLukhanyo,Ihavetoseea
gynaecol
ogi
standseehowf arIam andtakei
tfr
om
ther
e.
Me:"Iam t
hinkingofbooki
nganappoi
ntmentwi
th
agynaecol
ogist"
Kau:
"Thatwoul
dbewonder
ful
"
Hekissedmyli
psandIresponded.Hebi
tmy
bot
tom li
psof
tl
y.Webrokeit.
Me:"doyouhavet
owearsungl
assesl
iket
hat
babe?"
Kau:
"Il
ookcool"
Igiggl
edandr
emovedhi
ssunglassesandr
anmy
fi
ngerti
psonhi
scheekt
owardshisri
ghtcl
osedeye.
Me:
"bendandl
etmeki
ssi
t"
Hebendshi
sheadf
orwar
dandIki
sshi
seyessof
tl
y.
Me:Il
ovei
tli
ket
his."
Kau:
"Idon'
t"
Hesi
ghed.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Henoddedl
ikeachi
ldandIgi
ggl
edbef
oreki
ssi
ng
hi
m agai
n..
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
46] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t48

*
ANDI
SWA*

wegott otheDrandmyhear twasbeat ingf ast

.We
hoppedoutofthecarandmadeourwayi nsidethe
practi
ce,Iwenttosi
tdownwhi lehetalkedt othe
recepti
oni
st.Itookamagazi neandtriedt okeep
myselfbusybutmyheartwasbeat i
ngf astand
scared,IhopetheDrwil
lhaveadi f
ferentout come
thatwil
l
Worki
nmyfavour,
ourfavouraswel
l
.Nt
ethel
elo
camet
omeandstoodoverme.
Ntet
hel
elo:
"wecangoi
nsi
de.TheDoct
ori
swai
ti
ng
"
Ist
oodupandoutt
hemagazi
nedownandwewent
i
nside.TheDrsmi
ledandIdi
dn'
tatal
l.Il
ooked
ar
ound.
Dr:
"Pl
easegochangetot
hathospi
talgownand
t
hencomelayonthebed."
Il
ookedatNt
ethel
eloandhel
ookedatme.Iwal
ked
of
fandheheldmyar m.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Il
oveyou"
Ikeptquietandyankedmyarm offandwi
pemy
tear
sandwentt ochange.Aft
erIwasdoneit
hen
wenttolayont hebedandtheDrcame.
Dr:
"Ther
eissti
llanopti
on,Maybeyouwoul
dn'
t
wantt
ogetri
doft hebaby"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Wedon'
thaveachoi
ce"
TheDrnoddedandgavemepi
ll
sandwat
ert
odr
ink.
Dr:
"Iwi
llber
ightback"
HeleftafterIwasdonedr inki
ngandIclosedmy
eyes.Webot hdidn'
tspeaktoeachother,Ihope
thi
sdoesn' tsucceedinthenameofJesusIhopei t
doesn'tsucceed.Iopenedmyeyesandl ookedat
theceil
ing, MinutespassedandIstart
edfeeli
ng
pai
ninmyabdomen.
Me:
"Ah!"
Iheldmyst
omachasthecrampsincr
eased.Tear
s
str
eameddownmyeyes,theDrcamebackinsi
de.
Dr:
"Al
loft
hiswi
llbeoversoon."
Itf
eltpainf
ul,whatIf
eltinmyhear tf
eltmor
e
painfult
hatwhatIam feel
ing.Itf
eltt
oomuch,I
sobbedwhi l
eholdi
ngmyst omach.
.
.
*
NTETHELELO*

Iwasmovedout si
de.Iwashappywhenshet old
mewewer eexpecti
ngbutitcamewi th
complicat
ions.Ican'
tlooseher,nei
thert
hekids
can'
tlooseheraswel l
.Iscroll
edthroughmy
phonet ocheckanyemai l
sImighthaveoranythi
ng
andIclosedmyphoneoncemor e.Thedrcomes
outandist andup.
Dr:
"Ever
ythi
ngi
sget
ti
ngdone.Sheneedsanhour
t
henshecangohome"
Me:
"ok,
thankyou"
Henoddedandwalkedbacki
nsi
de.Isi
ghedand
satdownbur
yingmyheadbetweenmyhands.
Me:
"Gosh"
Igroanedandstoodupmaki
ngmywayout
sidej
ust
forsomefreshair
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Me:"(singi
ng)Uthandolwaminawe, Ol
wethu
sobabi
li.Umunt
uwesi t
hathuakaf
uneki,
indaba
zet
hulezo"
Icombedt hehairwhi
lelooki
ngatmyselft
hrough
themi r
ror.Ifi
xedmymakeup, l
ookedatmyself
forthelastt
imeandIheardthedooropeni
ng.The
frontdoor.
"
Mmhi
tsmel
lsni
ce"
Ist
oodupandworemygownandsl
ipper
sandI
wal
kedoutoft
hebedr
oom.
Razor:
"Idon'
tknowwher
etost
art?"
Me:
"Anywher
e"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ip.
Razor:
"wai
tletmel
ockal
lent
rances"
Herushedof fandIlaughed.Hewentt ol
ockthe
fr
ontdoorandcamebackt othekit
chendoorand
l
ockeditaswel landcheckedtheWindows.Iwent
tositonthecouchandt ookofft
hegownandI
star
tedtouchingmyselfandhecameback.
Razor:
"Damn"
Iranmyf inger
sal
lovermybodyandl
ickedt
hem
beforepl
ayingwit
hmyclit
ori
swhil
ebi
tingmy
bottom l
ip.
Razor:
"Al
it
tl
esugarbef
oref
oodwoul
dn'
thur
t"
Ikeptongoingandhecamecl
osert
omeandwent
onhisknees.
Razor:
"CanIt
akeover?"
Ismil
edandnoddedandhepartedmylegswi
der
andkissedmyki
tt
ensoft
lybef
oresucki
ngonitand
Imoaned.
Razor:
"Mmh.Il
ovet
hatsound"
Hewentbackt
oli
cki
ngandsucki
ng.[
SCI
SSORED]
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Istartedwithcookinglunchjusttogetmymi ndof
f
thi
ngs.Smi soi sst
ayingathomenow, heistoool
d
torunwhat everheusedt orunandnowhest ays
herealldaywi t
hme.Icl osethepotandtur
nand
seemysi sterinthecornerofthekit
chenandshe
smiles.
Me:
"We-
"
Shedi
sappear
sandIcl
oseandopenmyeyes.
"
Areyouok?"
It
urned.
Me:
"Ineedt
opr
ay"
Smi
so:
"ohok.I
tsmel
lsgoodi
nher
e"
Me:
"thankyou"
Heki
ssedmycheek."
Smi
so:
"letmenotdi
stur
byou.Iwi
llbei
nmyst
udy
"
InoddedandhewalkedoffandItur
nedt
owher
eI
sawmysi st
erandsheisnotther
eanymor
e.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Kau:
"di
dyouhearwhatIsai
d?"
It
urnt
ohi
m.
Me:
"what?"
Kau:
"nevermi
nd"
Me:"Iam sor
ry.I
t'
sjustmymi
ndi
sbusyar
ound
wor
k"
Kau:
"Iwi
llseeyout
hen"
Hest
oodup.
Me:
"baby"
Istoodupaswel
landwenti
nfr
ontofhi
m and
stoppedhi
m.
Me:
"Iam sor
ryok"
Kau:"Iam notmadoranyt
hing.Iam j
ustl
ett
ing
yougobackt owor
k"
Me:
"Il
oveyouok?"
Kau:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Iki
ssedhi
m andher
etur
nedi
t,hehel
dmybut
t.
Me:
"Mmmmh"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ipandr
anmyhandt
ohi
scr
otch.
Me:
"Iam f
eel
ingabi
t"
Kau:
"Don'
tst
art"
Me:
"Comeon"
Kau:
"youwi
llcr
y"
Me:
"comeon,
wher
eist
hemanIf
ellf
or?
"
Hesmir
kedandhet
urnedmearoundandhetook
of
fmycoatandhet
henpinnedmeonthetabl
eand
hest
oodbehi
ndmewhisperi
ngi
nmyear.
Kau:
"youwantt
his?"
Inodded.
Kau:
"Iwi
llpuni
shyou"
Me:
"pl
easedo"
Helif
tedmydr essupandhepulledmyt
hongdown
andkissedmybut tbef
orehesl
ippedaf
ingeri
nmy
pri
vateareaandImoaned.
Kau:
"youwi
llcr
y"
Me:
"makemecr
y"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ipashet
hrust
edi
tinsi
deme.

.
.
*
DINA*

Iopenedmyeyesandiwasi
nthe!Ainbedr
oom.I
l
ookedbesidemeandZamaniwaslooki
ngatme.I
gotfr
ight
ened.
Me:
"youscar
edme"
Zamani:
"Iam sor
ry"
Me:
"thankyou"
Hest
oodupandki
ssedmyfor
eheadandigotof
f
t
hebedandhest
oppedme.
Zamani:
"canwet
alk?"
Isi
ghed.Inoddedandsatbackdownonthebed.
Hetookthechai
randsatoni
tandhehel
dmy
hands.
Zamani:"Iam sorr
y, Iknowsorrywon'tundo
anyt
hingbutIam.Il oveyouDinaandi tseems
unbel
ievablebutIreall
ydo.Ican'tseemysel f
wit
houtyou.I tt
ookmesomet i
met oadjusttoyou
bei
nginmyl i
feassomeoneIwant edtoloveand
l
earnedtolove.It'
snott hatyouarenotenoughf or
me.Youaremor et
hanenoughandbeyondt
hat
.I
am sor
ry,
Iloveyou"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:"Iloveyoutoobutithur
ts.Idon'
tknowwhere
t
ostartifIshoul
dfor
giveyou.Howwoul dyouf
eel
i
fitwasmewhodi dt
histoyou?"
Hel
ookeddown.
Me:"that'
showIf eelZamani,GoddamnI
over
lookedyourfami l
ybei
nginvol
vedi
nmysi
ster
's
deat
handI. .
..
Ibetrayedherf
oryou."
Ist
art
edhyper
vent
il
ati
ng.
Zamani:
"Di
na"
Ishookmyhead.
Zamani:
"br
eat
he"
It
ri
edt
obr
eat
handi
twasbet
tert
hist
ime.
Me:"(sobbi
ng)i
thur
tsbecauseIwon'
tevergi
ve
youki
ds.Iwon'
t"
Icr
ied.AndhehuggedmeandIsni
ff
edonhi
schest
.
Zamani
:"Iam sor
rybaby"
.
.

*
ANDI
SWA*

Thisfeeli
ng,it
'scr eepi
ngi nandit'
sst
r ongert
han
anythi
ng.I t
'
ssuff ocatinganddangerous.Thepai n,
thepainthatIam f eeli
ngatt hi
smomentcompar es
tonothing.Idon'twantt obei nthi
scaranymor e,I
wantmyf at
her'
sar msatt hi
smoment .Tearsrun
downmycheeksandhet ouchesmyshoul der
.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"shoul
dwegetanyt
hing?"
Ikeptquietandwipedmyt ear
sbuttheykepton
comi ng. Itr
ytopushmyvoi ceback.Itshal
l
neverbehear dasitwasstompedover.This
feel
ingistoomuchf oroneperson.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
46] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t49

Me:"WowThankyouever yonefort
his,
youdon'
t
knowhowhappyandgr at
efulIam t
oworkwi
th
wonder
fulpeopl
eli
keyou"
Khensani:
"wet
hankyouf
ort
heoppor
tuni
tyt
owor
k
wit
hyou"
Ever
yoneagr
ees.
Khensani:
"congr
atul
ati
ons.Mr
sNgomane"
Me:
"let
'sdr
inkt
hengetbackt
owor
k"
Ever
yonel
aughedandIt ookmygl
assandwentt
o
myoffi
ce,Khensanif
oll
owedbehi
ndme.
Khensani:
"Howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam wel
l.Youwoul
dn'
tsayIhavebeen
mar
ri
edbef
ore.I
tfeel
snew"
b
Khensani:
"iti
s.,
It'
sdi
ff
erentaswel
l"
Shesatdown.
Me:
"youandFezi
le?"
Khensani:
"wear
egoodbutIj
ustf
eelscar
ed"
Me:
"of
f?"
It
ookasi
pof
fmydr
ink.
Khensani:
"Whatifever
ythi
ngchanges,whati
fwe
fal
lapartonedayandbreakup.Iam notr
eadyand
prepar
edf ori
t"
Me:
"howf
ardoyouseeyour
sel
vest
oget
her?"
Khensani:
"Idon'
tknowbutIam scar
edof
i
maginingl
ifewit
houthi
m"
Me: "Youhaveto,notbecauseyouwi l
lbr
eakup
wit
hhi m onedaybuttomakethingsabiteasyf
or
you.Talktohi
m abouthowyouf eelaswell
."
Khensani:
"Real
ly?"
Me:
"Yeahdot
hat,
hewi
llknowwhatyouf
earand
i
t'
sokt
ogetl
oosi
ngaman,
wehavebeent
her
e."
Shel
aughed.
Khensani
:"Iwi
llt
alkt
ohi
m"
Me:
"that
'sgood"
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Weweresi
tt
ingatt
hechi
sanyamawhil
ehavi
ng
somemeatanddri
nkswi
thNtamboandKau.
Kau:
"Iam goi
ngt
obeaf
ather"
Nt
ambo:
"Nobl
ankmanyouwast
enot
ime"
Me:
"congr
atul
ati
onsMan"
Kau:
"Iam soexci
ted."
Me: "Iwi
shIhadthose4momentsswithAnel
e4
yearsagobutIam happyt
oknowIhaveachil
d
withmywi f
e"
Nt
ambo:
"Howi
smar
ri
age,
Ial
waysaskmysel
f"
Kau:
"getmar
ri
edandyouwi
llknow"
Nt
ambo:
"NoIwi
llneverdot
hat"
Me:
"andKhensani
?"
Nt
ambo:"shei
smywoman,
wil
lfor
everbemy
woman"
Me:
"Ladi
eswantt
ogetmar
ri
edoneday"
Ntambo:"t
hatwi
llbeaprobl
em becauseIdon'
t
wantto,Ij
ustwantsomeonetosettl
ewit
hand
haveki
dswi t
h"
Kau:
"thenyoul
eave"
Ntambo:"Iwon'tdothatt
oKhen,marr
iagei
s
compli
catedt
hingthatIdon'
twantust
ogothrough
"
Me:
"youar
est
il
ltr
aumat
ized"
Ntambo:"Ifpeopl
eloveeachotherwhygetmarried
j
usttohurttheper
sonyouclai
medt olove,that
's
j
ustbul
lshit!I
fMarri
agechangespeoplethenI
don'
twantit"
Hest
oodupandwal
kedof
f.
Kau:
"It
houghthi
sangerdi
eddown"
Me:
"Iwi
llt
alkt
ohi
m."
Hi
sfathermesseduppr et
tybad.Hehateshurti
ng
awoman, hehatesseeingawomangot hroughany
f
orm ofvi
olat
ionbecausehismotherwentthr
ough
t
hati
nfrontofhi
m.itt
raumatizedhi
m si
ncethen.
.
.
*
DINA*

Igotoffthecabandmademywayi nsi
de,Icameto
dropoffthehousekeysandt akesomeofmyst uf
f
thati
sleft,Ihavebeenatt hehotelt
hesepasttwo
daysandIhavebeencr yingmyselfever
ynight
.The
walll
sofmyhot elr
oom knowmyst or
ycleart
han
anyone.Iknockedandt hedooropenedandhis
auntstoodbyt hedoor.
Her:"OhLi
neoIam sohappyt
oseeyou,
Ineed
hel
p"
Me:
"Iam j
usther
etodr
opof
fthesekeys"
Her:"Okdomeaf avour,Ihavet
ogoanddomy
hai
randIcamet ocheckonZamaniandhel ef
tme
wit
ht hesekidsbecausehehasacourtcaseandI
haveahai rappoi
ntmentin10minut
es"
Shepul
ledmei
nsi
deandt
heki
dswer
ecr
ying.
Me:
"yourhai
risnew"
Her:"Idi
ditt
wodaysagoit'
sold.Ineedsomethi
ng
new, t
hanksyouareanangel.Theyhavebeen
cryi
ngsincemorni
ng"
Shetookherbagandr
anout
.Isi
ghed.Wher
edoI
st
art?
Iputmybagdownandsatbet weent
hem andt
ook
thebabyboyfi
rstandl
aidhi
m onmychestand
thenthegi
rl
.
Me:"qui
etLi
tt
leMnt
ungwa'
s,Mommyi
sher
enow
"
Iwi
pedt
hebabygi
rl
'sf
ace.
Me:
"shhh"
Theywer
ejustsleepybecauset
heyst
artedcal
ming
downandsleptonmychest .Theyl
ookedcute,
l
ooki
ngatt
hem suckt
hei
rthumbswaspeacef
ul.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Sandi
le:
"howi
sshef
eel
ing?
"
Bahumiwascryi
nghereyesoutal
lredwetf
rom
Lesedi
'
svomit
.
Me:
"GoandchangeBahumiandgot
oschool"
If
eltl
esedi
'
stemper
atur
eandshewasheat
ingup.
Bahumi:
"Ican'
tleaveherl
iket
his"
Sandi
le:
"youar
ewr
it
ti
ng,
gochange"
Shenoddedandwentupt
hest
air
s.
Sandi
le:
"shef
eel
shot"
Me:
"it
'sf
evermaybe"
Sandi
le:"Iwi
llcomebackandt
akeyout
othe
hospi
tal"
Me:
"ok"
Shewascr
yingnonst
op.
Me:
"shhhbaby"
Ipacedupanddownhol
dingLesedi
.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

"
Baby"
Iopenedmyeyesandl ookedathim,Isi
ghedand
satupheplacedthefoodinfr
ontofme.Ididn'
tgo
toworktoday.Iwasn'
tfeel
ingok.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam sor
ryok?Buti
twasf
ort
hebest
"
Me:
"Iunder
stand"
Isi
ghedandheki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Il
oveyou"
Inodded
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
If
aint
lysmi
led.Isni
ff
edandat
emyf
ood.
Me:
"Isetupanappoi
ntmentwi
thaDr"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"for?"
Me:"r
emovingmywomb.Idon'twanttobe
pr
egnant,
ther
ear
echancesandIdon'twantt
o"
Il
ookedathi
m wi
thgl
ossyeyes.
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tst
opme"
Tearsr andownmyeyesandhehuggedme. I tf
elt
painfulthatUnat
hidi
dthistome, shehasthewil
l
togiveherhusbandmor ekidswhileIcan'
t.YesI
havef orgi
venherbutIcan'
tfor
get, i
t'
sapainf
ul
scarembeddedi nmysoulandcoul dneverbe
repaired.Isobbed.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Shhh"
Ihel
dont
ohi
m.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

"
Whatabeaut
if
ulMami
wehaveher
e"
Ismi
ledandl
ookedup.
"
Del
iver
y"
Me:
"fr
om ?"
Razor:
"MrNgomane"
Me:
"to?"
Hesmir
kedandwal
kedi
nfur
theri
ntomyof
fi
ce
cl
osi
ngthedoor
.
Razor:
"Mr
sNgomane"
Me:
"del
iver
yofwhat?"
Razor
:"MrNgomane"
Il
aughedandhesatont
opofmydeskf
aci
ngme.
Razor:
"Howi
smywi
fe?"
Ist
oodupandst
oodbet
weenhi
slegs.
Me:
"Iam f
eel
ingmuchbet
tert
hanaf
ewmi
nut
es
ago"
Razor:
"youmi
ssedme?"
Me:
"Imi
ssedyousomuch"
Ismi
rkedandweshar
edaper
k.
Razor:
"mmmh"
Me:
"howwasyourday?"
Razor
:"usual"
Inoddedandweshar
edahug.
Me:
"Anel
eiscomi
nghomet
hisweekend"
Razor:
"Let
hokuhl
eshoul
dcomet
oo"
Me:
"Iwi
llt
alkt
oAndi
swa"
Henodded.
.
.
*
BAHUMI
*

"
Pensdown!
"
Iwasn'tateaset hatLesedii
ssi
ck.Iam wor r
ied
moret hananything, t
hewayshewascr yi
ngand
feel
ingisbreakingme. Myscr iptgotcollect
edand
IcouldseeThapel oacrossthehall,t
het estwas
easyforhim byt helooks.Iwasverydistract
ed.
Teacher
:"youar
edi
smi
ssed!
"
West oodupandIt ookmyst at
ionaryandwentto
mybag.Iputi nmyt hingsandthelearner
'swal
ked
outingroupssayingwhattrywroteonwhi ch
questi
on.Iwal kedoutofthehallandwentdown
thestai
rsheari
ngsomecheerandsomewer enot
happywi t
hthei
ranswer s.Iwaswor ri
edaboutmine
butIshouldn'
tli
stentowhatotherssay.
"
Humi!
"
Istoppedmytracksandheappr
oachedmeandput
hisarm ar
oundmyshoulder
s.
Thapel
o:"Howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam wor
ri
edaboutl
esedi"
Thapel
o:"Met
oobutMercyist
aki
nghert
othe
hospi
tal,
wewi
llf
indoutwhenwecomebackhome.
"
Me:
"Ir
eal
lyhopeshei
sok"
"Thapel
o!"
Wel ookedaheadandi
t'
sthatgr
ade11gi
rlhewas
hangingaround.
Me:
"got
oher"
Ir
emovedhi
shandandhehel
dmyar
m."
Thapel
o:"
andnow?"
Me:
"Idon'
twantmyf
eel
ingst
obedr
ibbl
ed."
Thapel
o:"whosai
dIam dr
ibbl
ingyourf
eel
ings?
"
"
Thapel
ocome!
"
Me:
"justgo"
Iwalkedawayfr
om hi
m andhefol
lowedmeand
hel
dmyar m andhel
dmyshoulder
s.
Thapel
o:"Iam notdr
ibbl
ingyourf
eel
ingsHumi"
Me:
"ok"
Hesi
ghed.Iwi
llnothavet
hatatal
l.
.
.
*
DINA*

Thet winslaterwokeupandImadesomemashed
potatoeswi t
hgr avytogetthem eat
ingsomef
ood
thensomef ormulatodr i
nkandtheyheldt
hei
r
bottl
es.ItriedZamani '
sauntbutitwentto
voicemail.Ishoul dbelonggonenow.
Me:
"dr
inkupsoyoucangr
ow"
"Aunt
yIgotdelayed,sor
ryfort
hat.Ngiyet
hemba
abakuhl
uphanga(ihopetheydi
dn'
tbotheryou)
"
It
urnedar
oundandhest
oppedhi
str
acks.
Zamani:
"Di
na"
Me:"AuntyKhuli
siwewentt
othehai
rsal
on,
Icame
t
oleavethehousekeys"
Zamani:
"shet
ri
ckedyou"
Me:
"Ireal
isedt
hatt
hemi
nut
esher
ushedoutof
t
hedoor"
Zamani:
"herol
destt
ri
ck."
Hechuckl
edandigi
ggl
edt
henIbi
tmybot
tom l
ip.
Me:"Ishoul
dleave,
wil
lyoubef
inewi
tht
hem
al
one?"
Zamani:
"no"
Hesai
dwi
thhandsi
nhi
spocket
.
Me:
"weshoul
dtr
yheragai
n"
Zamani:
"Itwi
llgot
ovoi
cemai
l"
Me:
"youar
eri
ght"
Luyanda(gi
rl)t
hrewheremptybott
leonthef
loor
andstar
tedcryi
ng.Ipi
ckeditupandcarr
iedher.
Me:
"shhh"
Shest
art
edt
ocal
m down,
itf
eelsogr
eatt
ohol
dher
.
Me:
"t
hewayyoubehaveyouwi
llbel
ikeMommy.
"
Luyanda:
"mmmaa"
Ikissedherf
oreheadandshewiggl
edherway
aroundmyar msandIoutherdownandshewal ked
aroundthenstumbledandwal
kedoff.Igother
brot
herdownandherushedaf
terhi
ssi
ster
.Iout
thebot
tl
esint
hesink.
Zamani:
"youar
enat
ural"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"thankyou"
Hewal
kscl
oserandget
stohol
dmywai
st.
Zamani:
"Iam sor
ryst
handwasam ,
pleasecome
back"
Me:
"Zamani"
Zamani:
"Pl
ease.Ican'
tfuncti
onwi
thoutyouand
fi
ndi
ngyousti
llpar
tofmylif
e"
Me:
"ithasbeent
wodays"
Zamani:
"itwaswor
se"
Me:
"Zamani"
Zamani:
"Di
na"
Heleanedintokissmeandirespindedtohiskiss
aswell.Iwanttobemadathim, Iwanttoleavehim
andneverlookbackbuthei
smaki ngthathard, he
i
smaki
ngt
hatsodamnhar
d.
Zamani:
"Il
oveyou"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Heki
ssedme.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
46] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t50

*
KHENSANI
*

Fezi
lef
etchedmefrom wor
ktodayandwehave
beensi
lentsi
ncet
hen.wehaven'
ttal
kedt
oeach
otherandalotwasgoingthroughmymi nd.I
cl
osedt hepotasIwascooki ngandhewas
watchingsomesoccergame, soccer.Oneofthe
sportsiwil
lneverunderst
andinlif
e.Iturndownthe
stoveandgot ohim andsitnextt
ohim.
Me:
"Babe"
Hei
sst
il
lfocusedont
hegamei
nfr
ontofhi
m.
Me:
"Fezi
le"
It
ouchedhi
sshoul
derandhel
ooksatme.
Me:
"canwet
alk?"
Henoddedandsi
ghed.
Nt
ambo:
"Sur
e"
Het
urneddownt
het
vvol
umeandt
urnedt
ome.
Me:"Ihavebeenwanti
ngt osayt
hisbutIwas
scar
edofhowyouwi l
lfeel"
Nt
ambo:
"Ihavesomet
hingt
osayaswel
l
"
Me:"l
etmef
ini
sh"
Henods.
Me: "Iloveyou, i
njustashortspaceoft
imeI
actuall
yl oveyou.Ican'ti
maginealif
ewithoutyou
andit'spr et
tyhar
dbecauseyouhavemademe
comf ortablesomuchinhavingeachotherinour
l
ives....
.."
Nt
ambo:
"Idon'
twantt
ogetmar
ri
ed"
Myhear
tski
ppedabeat
.
Me:
"oh"
Il
ookedathim.Ididn'
tknowwhattosay,
Iwasa
bi
tdisappoi
ntedandheartbr
oken.
Ntambo:"Marri
agesar
ecompl i
cat
edandthey
comewithal
otofchanges.Iwantustohaveki
ds
yesbutmarr
iageIcan'
tdothatwit
hanyone"
Me:
"Oh"
Ikeptqui
et.
Nt
ambo:
"Ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"yeah,
yeahIam ok.Somuch"
Nt
ambo:
"Ok"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
oveyou"
If
aintl
ysmi
led.Ithur
tthathesawmeashisbaby
makingmachineandnothi
ngmore.Hedi
dn'tsee
usbeyondt
hisboundary.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Isai
dtohi
m.
.
.
*
DINA*

IhaveputthekidstorestandIjustgotoutoft
he
shower,Iwalkedoutofthemai nbathr
oom andhe
wassitt
ingont hebed.Helif
tedhisheadupandput
hisphoneont heside.
Me:"Thewar
m wat
erher
eisal
waysmagi
calonmy
ski
n"
Zamani:
"(cl
earhi
sthr
oat)yeah,
yeah"
Me:
"youar
eok?Needanyt
hing?"
Zamani:
"Uhm no"
Hesatatt
heedgeoft
hebed.
Me:
"ok,
goodni
ghtt
hen"
Iwal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoorandopenedi
t.
Zamani:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"
Me:
"tosl
eep"
Zamani:
"thebedi
sher
e"
Me:
"That
'syourbed."
Zamani:
"Butbaby"
Me:
"ahno.ByeZamanidon'
tdr
eam ofme"
Iwal
kedout
.
Zamani:
"Di
na!
"
Ii
gnor
edhim andmademywaytomybedr
oom.
Wecanhavesomefunwhi
leati
tri
ght
?
.
.
*
SESETHU*
Me:"Iam maki
ngcof
feeshpul
dImakesomef
or
you?"
Kau:
"Youar
emaki
ngwhat?"
Me:
"cof
fee!"
Iheardthuddi
ngf
oot
stepsandhewasbehi
ndmei
n
aflash.
Kau:
"no.
..
nonocof
feef
oryouDrdon'
tyouknow
t
hat?"
Il
aughed.
Me:"Iknowt
hat,
it'
sjustt
ea.Iwaspl
ayi
ngwi
th
you"
Kau:
"don'
tdot
hatagai
n"
Inoddedgi
ggli
ngandif
ini
shedupandt
urnedt
o
hi
m andperkedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"canwet
alk?"
Hwhol
dsmywai
st.
Kau:
"sur
e"
Isi
gh
Kau:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Me:"Wehavebeendat
ingf
oramont
hormor
ethan
t
hatorsor
ight?"
Kau:
"yeah"
Me:
"Whatar
ethechancest
hebabnotbei
ngyour
s?
"
Ibi
tmybot
tom l
ip.
Kau:
"woahwai
trepeatagai
n."
Me:
"Iam 4weekspr
egnant"
Kau:
"wai
tdi
dyoucheatonme?"
Il
aughedandputmyhandsonhi
sshoul
der
Me:
"nosi
ll
yIwasj
ustt
est
ingyou.I
t'
sourbaby"
Kau:"Iwasgonnahuntt
hatguyandki
llhi
mInf
ront
ofyou"
Me:
"that
'st
raumat
ic"
Kau:
"yeahbar
ethati
nmi
nd"
Me:
"youar
enotaki
ll
er"
Kau:
"Iam mul
ti
tal
ent
ed."
Me:
"jackof
fal
ltr
ades"
Kau:
"youknowme"
Hepickedmeupandputmeonthecount
er,
I
l
aughedandwesharedaki
ss.
Me:
"thet
eawi
llbur
nme"
Kau:
"leti
tbur
n"
Me:
"no"
Igotdownf
rom t
hecount
erandhehel
dmef
rom
behi
nd.
Kau:"mett
hisgi
rlatt
hecl
ubbutIdon'
tremember
hername"
Ij
oini
n.
Me:"she'
ssof
ly,
sobeaut
if
ulbutIdon'
tremember
hername"
Kau:
"gi
rlwhat
'syourname?"
Me:
"Gi
rlwhat
'syourname?
"
Kau:
"hai
bowhat
'syourname?"
Me:
"Seset
hu"
Kau:"I
t'
sDrSesethuMokoena,Mothertothe
Mokoenapr
incessorpr
ince.Kau'
sforever
beaut
if
ulwi
fe"
Me:
"Iam notoneoft
hoseasyet
"
Kau:
"wecanmakei
thappen."
Heki
ssedmyneck.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

SisMercyhel
dheri
nherar
msasshehascl
osed
hereyesandi
sinhersl
umber
.
Mer
cy:
"yousee?Shei
sok"
Me:
"oh,
whatdi
dtheDrsay?"
Mer
cy:
"justami
ldf
ever"
Me:
"wi
llshebeok?"
Mer
cy:
"yesshegotmedi
cat
ion.Shewi
llbef
ine"
Inodded.
Mer
cy:
"letusgo"
Me:
"Iwi
llsl
eepwi
thher"
Mer
cy:
"ok"
Shel
aidheri
nhercotandgavemeherl
it
tl
ebl
anket
.
Mer
cy:
"cal
lmei
fyouar
eint
roubl
e"
Me:
"Iwi
ll
"
Shewalkedoutoft
hebedr
oom andil
ookedat
Lesedi
.
"
Howi
sshef
eel
ing?"
Hewal
kedi
nfur
ther.
Me:
"shei
sasl
eepnow.Justaf
ever"
Heputhisar
m ar
oundmyshoul
derandki
ssedmy
f
orehead.
Me:
"Thapel
o"
Thapel
o:"mmmh"
Me:
"what
'st
his?"
Thapel
o:"Idon'
tknow"
Hekeptqui
etsodi
dI.
Me:
"it
'sget
ti
ngcol
d.Letmesl
eep.
Hebentandki
ssedLesedionherf
orehead.
Thapel
o:"Daddyl
ovesyou"
Ismil
ed.Hethenst
oodbehindmeandipul
ledmy
gowntoget
her
.Hewr appedhi
sar
msaroundmy
waist
.
Me:
"Thapel
o"
Heki
ssedmyneckandIcl
osedmyeyes.
Thapel
o:"Humi"
Me:
"mmmh?
"
Thapel
o:"Iloveyouandthankyouf
ort
aki
ngcar
e
ofmeaftereveryt
hing"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Hetur
nedmearoundandki
ssedmyl
ipsandI
r
espondedt
oit
.HepickedmeupandCarri
edmet o
t
hebedandlai
dmedown.Hewenttolockthedoor
andt
urnt
hel
ight
sof
f.
Me:
"Thapel
o"
Thapel
o:"I
t'
sokHumi"
Inoddedandweshar edakissagain.Hi shands
roamedaroundmybodyandheuncl othedmebi tby
bitwhi
leki
ssingmeever ywher eandIretur
nedthe
favour
.Hegotonmeandki ssedmyneck.Idi dn'
t
knowwheretot ouch.Hiseverywhere,
hef i
nall
y
unclot
hedaswel landhetookhi spant
sandt ook
outacondom andwor ei
t.
Me:
"wher
edi
dyougett
hat?
"
Thapel
o:"wedon'
twantanotherbabyBahumior
get
ti
ngdiseasesf
rom eachot
her"
Inoddedandhewor eitandki
ssedmewhile
hol
dingmylegsbeforehepenetr
atesi
nmeandI
moaned.Itwaspainfulatf
ir
stbutwhenhemoved
i
tbecamepleasur
ableandpai nf
ulatt
hesameti
me.
.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Ikeptonst
ari
ngintot
heBibl
ereadi
ngit
.Smi so
walkedi
nthekit
chenandIcl
osedtheBi
bleandhe
l
ookedatme.
Smi
so:
",
iam wor
ri
edaboutyou"
Me:
"don'
tbe"
Smi
so:
"Iwantt
opayl
obol
aaswel
l
.Wher
ecanIpay
i
t?"
Igi
ggl
ed.
Me:"Idon'
tknowifmysonwillacceptt
his.He
hat
esmar r
iageswi
thpassi
on.
Smi
so:
"Iwi
llj
ustpayl
obol
athen"
Me:
"wear
eol
dfort
hat"
Smi
so:
"it
'sst
il
ltr
adi
ti
on"
Me:
"okt
hen"
Heper
kedmyl
ips.
Smi
so:
"Iwast
hinki
ng"
Me:
"yes"
Smi
so:
"howaboutwehaveasur
rogat
e"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"youwantababy?"
Henodded.
Me:
"oh"
Smi
so:
"justone"
Me:
"weneedt
osi
tthatonedowncl
ear
ly"
Smi
so:
"it
'sok.Let
'sgot
obed"
Me:
"ok"
Heswi t
chedofft
heli
ghtsandheldmyhandandwe
walkedout.Weareoldforababy.ThatUnat
hiand
Fezil
ewithQamowillbeli
kei
t'
sparentsbutwewil
l
seehowi tt
urnsout
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
47] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t51

Iturnedmyheadandl ookedathi m whil

ehewas
sleeppeacefull
y,Idowakeupatni ghtandjusttake
amomentt olookathim, scaredthatthi
smi ghtall
beadr eam andiam backi njail
.Iam happyand
contentwithhowmyl i
feisli
keatt he!moment .It'
s
fi
lledwit
hsomuchpeaceandassur anceofit
l
ast i
ng.Fearsdocr eepinbutit'
snotasbad. I
kisshisperkeduplipsandr unmyf i
ngersonhis
chest.Hisphoner i
ngsbymybedsi deanditakei t
,
theclocksays0:45l at
eatni ghtandit'
sseemsl ike
ani mport
antunknownnumber .Itrytowakehi m
up.
Me:
"babywakeup"
Heisconsumedinhissl
eep.ItstopsandIlookati
t
anditr
ingsonceagai
n.Ilookathim andIanswer.
Me:
"Hel
lo"
Guy:"Hel
losi
ster
r,pl
easet
ellTa'
Razort
hatt
he
Chi
sanyamaisburni
ng"
Me:
"What?"
Guy:
"yes"
Me:
"ok,
wear
eonourway"
Ihungupspri
ngingoutoft
hebedandsl
apr
azor
l
ight
lyandhegroans.
Me:
"wehavet
ogo"
Razor:
"geti
nbedUnat
hi"
Iopenthewar
drobeandt
akeoutsweat
sforusand
hoodi
es.
Me:"Lindani
manVuka!Ichi
sanyamaiyasha
(l
indaniwakeup!TheChi
sanyamaisburni
ng)"
Herol
ledover
.Ipull
edhim andhel
dhisface
sl
appi
ngitabit
.It
'sl
ikehewasdruggedor
somet
hing.
Me:
"babyt
heChi
sanyamai
sbur
ningcomel
et'
sgo
"
Ipul
lhi
m out.
Razor:
"wai
twhat?"
Ithr
ewcl ot
hesforhi
m andher ubbedhiseyesand
gotdressed.Iwasdoneinnotime, hegotdonetoo
andwer ushedout,hewasdownt hest
reetwhi
leI
waslockingandwentafterhi
m.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Isi
ghedandt urnedmyheadtohim andheki
ssed
mycheekwhi lerunni
nghi
sfi
ngersonmynaked
body.Ipul
ledhecovertocoverusyethi
sarms
cover
edpartsofmynakedness.
Thapel
o:"Humi"
Me:
"Mmmh?"
Thapel
o:"t
rustme"
Me:
"It
rustyou"
Thapel
o:"Doyour
eal
ly?"
Me:
"Iam scar
ed"
Thapel
o:"don'
tbe"
Heget
sonme.
Thapel
o:"Il
oveyou"
Hel
ooksmei
ntheeyes.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
WeshareakissandIcl
osemyeyessavour
ing
ever
ythi
ng.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Icouldn'
tsleep.Af t
ertryi
ngtoactokIwasn'tokt
o
behonest.Iwentt othebathr
oom andcri
edmyself.
Il
oveFezilealotbutitseemsl i
keverymanthatI
am withdoesn'tseethevalueofwhoIam.MaybeI
am notthatvaluableandjustsomepawnmencan
use.isobbedwhi lepull
ingmyf eett
oget
herasthe
col
dbat hr
oom t i
lesmakecont actwit
hmyfeet.I
wipemytearsbutt
heykeeponfall
ing.Attimesl
ike
theseIwi
shmymot herwasatheper sonshewas
andIwouldbeconfusi
nginheratt
hismoment .
Knockknock!
"
Khenar
eyouok?"
Iwi
pemyt
ear
.
Me:
"iam f
ine.Per
iodPai
ns"
Nt
ambo:
"Ihavepai
nki
ll
erssomewher
ecome"
Me:
"Iam f
ine"
Nt
ambo:
"comeoutManamour"
Ist
oodupfrom t
hefl
oorandIwentt
othedoorand
Iopenedi
tandheengul
fedmeinahug.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
oveyouok?"
Inoddedwhi
lesobbi
ngonhi
schest
.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam sor
ryi
fIhur
tyourf
eel
ing"
Ikeptonsni
ff
ingandcr
ying.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Wef i
nallyr
eachedtheChisanyamaandFi ref
ighter
s
werenowher etryi
ngtoputoutthefi
re,itwas
shatter
ingandheartbr
eakingaseveryt
hingbr oke
downandwentupi nfl
ames, ever
yonewas
watching.Razortri
edtogot hr
oughbutt hey
stoppedhim.
Razor
:"t
hat
'smypl
aceIneedt
obei
nther
e"
Guy:
"Iam sor
rysi
ryoucanpasst
hrough"
Razor:
"myhar
dwor
k,t
hat
'smyhar
dwor
k!"
I
twashear
tbr
eaki
ngseei
nghi
mli
ket
hat"
Me:
"babycome"
Razor:
"Unat
hi"
Itookhishandaspeoplei
ngownsandsomecars
werearound.Watchi
ngasthef
ir
ewasbeingputout
.
Wewentt oadarkspotwhil
ewecoul
dsee
everyt
hingandIhuggedhi
m.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Ihuggedhim andheret
urnedi
tti
ght
erandIcoul
d
feelmyneckgetti
ngwet.Ifel
temoti
onalaswel
l
andtear
sroll
eddown.
Me:
"Iam sor
rybaby.Iam r
eal
ly"
Hesni
ff
ed. Ihel
dhi
m.
Me:"Iam her
eforyou. Wear
eint
hist
oget
her"
Hedidn'
tletmego,ift
hesaloncoul
dgoupin
fl
amesIknowi twil
lberepl
acedqui
ckl
ybutforhi
m,
i
t'
snotthateasyforhi
m.Thi si
shisbabyt
hat'
s
nowinfl
ames.
Me:
"Shhh"
Irubbedhisback.Hedidn'
tremovehi
sheadfr
om
thecrackofmyneckandi twaswetbutdi
dn'
tcar
e.
Ineedtobestrongforhim.
.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI
*
Me:
"Si
si"
Iwalkeduptoherasshestoodupfr
om thegreen
grassandmadeherwayt ome.Shesmiledher
beauti
fulsmil
e.Shehasal
waysbeenbeauti
fulthan
me, mostlyoutsi
deshi
nedheri
nsi
debutshewas
amazing.
Her:
"Mnt
akaMah(Mymot
her
'schi
ld)
"
WegohandsandIcanf
eel
her
.Weshar
eabr
ief
hugandIsmi
le.
Me:
"uyangi
hlupha(youar
ebot
her
ingme)
"
Her:"ngikul
ethelai
nhl
anhl
aezi
zojabuli
sa
ezi
ntsizi
ni(Iam bri
ngi
ngluckt
hatwillbri
ngj
oy
aft
erthepain) "
Me:
"Usekahl
e?(Ar
eyouok?)
"
Shenods.
Her:
"umzukul
uuphiwenguj
ehova,mnakekel
e
umboni
se(Anelei
sgif
tedbyGod,gui
dehim) "
Me:
"whenhei
sol
der"
Shenodded.
Me:
"Li
ndani
"
Her:
"ohSanal wam ,ngi
thokozi
lengaye(mybaby,
Iam happybecauseofhi
m) "
Me:
"al
lofus"
Her:
"Ihavet
ogo.Yourchi
l
disgoi
ngt
ocome"
Me:
"thr
oughme?"
Shenodded.
Her:
"Genesi
s18:
10-
14"
Me:
"What?"
Her:
"ist
her
eanyt
hingt
oohar
dfort
heLor
d?"
Me:
"no"
Her
:"hegi
vesandt
akes"
SheturnedandIwasshakenoutofmysleep.I
openedmyeyesandSmi sohadaworri
edlook.The
si
delampwason.
Me:
"Iam ok"
Smi
so:
"yousai
dsomeGenesi
sver
se"
Me:
"Iam ok"
Henoddedandper
kedmyf
oreheadandwel
aid
backi
nbed.
.
.

*
RAZOR*

Isighandlaybackonthecouch, Ifeelangr
yand
wanttogooutt her
eandfindtheperson
responsi
bleforal
loft
hisatthi
smoment.They
havecrossedthewrongpersonthisround.
Nt
ambo:
"Thi
sisf
uckedup"
Kau:
"ver
ybad"
Isi
gh.If
eeldef
eat
ed.Ist
andup.
Unat
hi:
"Li
ndani"
Iwalkout
sideandsher
unsaf
termeasIopent
he
doortomycar.
Unat
hi:
"cal
m down.Don'
tdr
ivei
nast
atel
iket
his"
Me:
"Unat
himove"
Unat
hi:"Iknowyouareangr
y,weal
lar
eandwant
t
hepersonbehindt
his."
Me:
"Iwor
kedhar
dfort
hatpl
ace,
Isweat
edf
ori
t!"
Unat
hi:
"Wecanr
ebui
ldever
ythi
ngagai
n"
Me:"youdon'tunderstand. I
t'
smor ethanj
usta
pl
ace.Itwassomet hingimport
ant,somethi
ngI
bui
ltf
ormyki dssotheywoul dnevergotosl
eep
hungr
ylikeIdid!Don'tyouunderst
and? "
Shest
eppedcl
oserandwrappedherhandsar
ound
meandIbangedmyf i
stonthecardoor
.
Me:
"Fuck!"
Unat
hi:
"Iunder
stand.Iam sor
ry"
Mybodywasshaking.Iwastr
yingtoprevent
mysel
ffr
om f
eel
inganyemoti
onespeciall
ylet
ti
ng
t
earsr
undownbutt heydi
donthei
rown.
Unat
hi:
"Iam sor
ry"
.
.
*
SESETHU*

It
'smorni
ngandIam notgoi ngt oworktoday,
Iam
havi
ngadayof f
.Ij ustvomi t
edmywhol efoodout
soImadeaheal thyshaket hatIcandownt oday.I
changedintomyspor tclothesandt ookamatandi
seti
tupont heout sidegr assatt hebackandIsat
downandcl osedmyeyes.Idi dsomebr eathein
andoutsjusttocalm down.Thi sbabyisunsettl
ing
andit'
sonlyafetus.Ir ubmyf latst
omachwhi le
havi
ngmyeyescl osed.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
47] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t52
*
WENDY*

iwalkedi
nsidethekit
chenandMom ishavingsome
teawhil
eleani
ngbyt heopenki
tchendoor.Shei
s
wildtandImonitorhermovementofwhichisst
il
l.
Me:
"MahUr
ight?(Maar
eyouok?)
"
Shesi
ghsandt
urnst
ome.
Mom :"yazisenguzwei
ndabaezi
buhl
ungu(Ihave
j
ustheardofsomebadnews) "
Me:
"what?"
Mom :"umnganiwakhol
owaushisel
weist
olosakhe
(yourfr
iend'
spl
acehasbeenbur
nt.)"
Me:
"awuShame,
amabhadi(badl
uck)
"
Mom :"eyi,
letmemakesomef
oodt
hengot
o
chur
ch."
Me:
"ok"
Ist
eppedasi
deandkeyhert
hroughandst
oodt
her
e.
Me:
"(mumbl
ing)Idon'
tcar
eabouthi
sst
upi
dpl
ace.
"
.
.
*
MERCY*

Iyawnedandmyeyeli
dswerefeel
ingver
yheavy.
Sandi
lewasuponhisf
eetal
readyreadyt
omake
hiswayoutt
owork.
Sandi
le:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"mybodyf
eel
sti
red."
Hecameandki
ssedmyf
oreheadandl
ookedatme.
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llcomeandcheckonyou"
Me:
"Iam notsi
ck"
Sandi
le:
"Mom i
nvi
tedusf
ordi
nner"
Me:
"oht
hat
'sni
ce"
Ihatethesedinner
sonlybecauseofhi
sfat
her
.He
perkedmyl i
psandf or
ehead.
Me:t
ellBahumi
todr
opLesediher
e"
Sandi
le:
"Theyar
enotgoi
ngt
oschool"
Me:
"ohok"
Sandi
le:
"Ihavet
ogo"
Inoddedandwal kedout.Igotof
fthebedandwent
tothebathroom t
obrushmyt eet
hAndwashmy
facebeforeIwentoutofmybedroom andwentt
o
Bahumi'
sr oom andIknocked.
Me:
"Bahumi"
ThedooropenedandsheopenedthedoorandI
coul
dhearLesedicr
ying. Il
ookedar
oundand
Thapel
owasholdingher.
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Thapel
o:"Mor
ning"
Me:
",,
didyousl
eepher
e?"
Thapel
o:"l
esediwascr
yingt
hewhol
eni
ghtdo
Bahumical
ledme."
Idon'
tthi
nkIli
kethat
.Il
ookedatBahumiwhowas
avoi
dingeyecont
act.
Me:
"ohok.Br
ingherher
e"
Hegavet
hebabyt
ome.
Me:
'heybabygi
rl
.Her
eismommy"
Shest
art
edt
oset
tl
e.
Me:
"Iwi
llbat
hher"
TheynoddedandIwal
kedoutwi
thhert
omy
bedr
oom.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

WhenSisMercywasi nthebedroom Iwasholdi

ng
mybreat
handf el
tgui
ltyaswell
.Thapelocanl i
e
thr
oughhi
steeth,shetookLesediandwalkedout
andIcl
osedthedoor.
Me:
"OhmyGodwewer
eal
mostcaughtout"
Thapel
o:"r
elax"
Me:
"Ican'
t"
HecMet
omeandhel
dmyhands.
Thapel
o:"r
elaxHumi"
Inoddedandheki
ssedmeandIr
esponded.
Thapel
o:"Iam happyyouar
eher
e"
Me:
"met
oo"
Thapel
o:"Di
dIhur
tyou?"
Me:
"no,
itwasni
ce"
Hesmi
led.
Thapel
o:"Iwi
llr
epl
acet
hatbadmemor
y"
Ismil
edandhehel
dmybut
tandki
ssedme.I
giggl
ed.
Me:
"Thapel
ost
op"
Thapel
o:"
justal
it
tl
ebi
tofl
ove"
Me:
"whatdoweknowaboutl
ove?"
Thapel
o:"Wel
ear
nabouti
t"
Inoddedheledmet othebedandl
aidmeonitand
kissedmeandIresponded.Mybodyrel
axedashe
touchedme.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

wewentbackt ot heChi
sanyamaanditwas
destroyed.Whoeverdi
dthiswasonamissi
on.He
croucheddownandhel dthepi
ecesofbr
okebot
tl
e
gl
assesandIl ookedathim.
Nt
ambo:
"Wewi
llf
indt
hem "
Kau:
"Yeah"
Razorwasqui
et.Hel
etgooft
hegl
assandst
ood
up.
Razor:
"Iwi
llbeathome."
Me:
"Iwi
lldr
iveyou"
Hej
ustnodded.Hef
eel
sdr
ainedatt
hesamet
ime.
Me:
"Wewi
llgeti
tupandr
unni
ngagai
n"
HenoddedAndItookhishand.Ntambokickedt he
di
rtandweallwal
kedoff.Peopleweresti
lllooki
ng
andwatchi
nghowdestroyedever
ythi
ngis, why
wouldsomeonedothi
stoanyoneelse?Ijustdon't
under
stand.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Me: "Hawuyi
nil
ehungi
tshel
aYona(whatar
eyou
t
ell
ingme?) "
Fezi
le:
"wear
einvest
igat
ing"
Me:
"Iam comi
ngt
her
e"
Fezi
le:
"comeaf
ter3hour
s.Lethi
m cooldown"
Me:
"Iam hear
tshat
ter
ed."
Fezi
le:"Ihavet
ogo"
Me:ok"
Ihungupont
hephonecal
landsi
ghed.OhLi
ndani
shame.
Smi
so:
"what
swr
ong?"
Hewal
kedi
nsi
det
heki
tchen.
Me:
"Li
ndani
'
sbusi
nessgotbur
ntl
astni
ght"
Smi
so:
"oh"
Me:
"Ihavet
oseehi
m andUnat
hi"
Smi
so:
"Iwi
llcomewi
thyou"
Me:
"thankyou"
Heki
ssedmycheek
Smi
so:
"Iam i
nsear
chofasur
rogat
e"
Me:
"ok"
Smi
so:"Ihopeyouar
eok"
Me:
"Iam f
inewi
thi
t"
Ismil
edandwentt
othef
ri
dget
otakeoutt
he
i
ngredi
ent
s
.
.
*
SESETHU*

myheadwast
hrobbi
ngasIhaveaspl
it
ti
ng
headache.Iendeduppayi ngont hemat.Iclosed
myeyest ryi
ngtorestbuti
twasn' tworki
ng.Ihel d
myst omachasmynosest art
edt oberunning
i
ncreasingtheheadacheaswel litouchedmynose
andbl oodwascomingout.Ist oodupandr ushed
i
nsideandgoat oweldippedincol dwaterandIlai
d
onthecouchast heheadachekeptonhi tt
ingall
angles.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
47] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t53

Me:
"Imadef
oodf
oryou"
Hesatupf
rom thebed.Hehasbeenquietforsome
t
imeandIaswel l
don'
tknowwhattodoanymor e
j
ustt
ocomforthim.Iplacedt
hefoodinfrontof
hi
m andhej
ustshakeshi
sheadandImovei
taway
andgeti
nnextt
ohim andl
ayhi
sheadonmychest.
Me:
"It
'sgoi
ngt
obeok"
Razor:
"Ineedt
ofi
ndoutwhodi
dthi
s"
Me:
"andyouwi
lldon'
twor
ry"
Hewassilenceagai
nandi
twascomf
ort
abl
e
si
lence.
Me:
"Anel
eiscomi
ngt
odaywi
thLet
ho"
Razor:
"Icoul
duseseei
ngmybabi
es"
Me:
"yourbabi
es?Whataboutme?"
Razor:
"okyouar
eal
somybaby"
Me:
"andnevermaket
hatmi
stakeMshi
ka"
Iper
kedhi
sli
ps.
Razor:
"comeagai
n"
Igi
ggl
edandki
ssedhi
minst
ead.
"
Mom i
sher
e!"
Me:
"Fezi
lehasnot
imi
ng"
Razor:
"atal
l"
Welaughedandgotofft
hebed.Itookt
hefoodand
wewalkedout.MarantoRazorandhuggedhi
m
bef
orepull
ingaway.
Ma:
"ohsuchbadl
uck.Iam gl
adyouar
eok"
Razor:
"yeahaunt
y"
Me:
"letmegomakesomej
uice"
Theyal
lsatdown.
Kau:
"Il
eftSeset
hual
one"
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
llcal
lKhensani"
Kau:
"Mr
sNgomane"
Me:
"byeKau,
greetSet
huf
orme"
Kau:
"Iwi
ll"
Hewal kedout.Iwenttothekit
chenandIwentt o
thefri
dgeandt ookt
healreadymadejui
ceandt ook
outtheglassesandbiscui
tsaswellf
orthem t
obe
servedwell.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Phi
la:
"Il
iket
heyel
lowone"
Iswit
chtheloll
ipopsandgavehimtheyell
owone
andherushedof fandIputt
herestawayandwent
backtothestovetocook.Myphoner angandit
wasAndiswa.It urneddownthest
ovebefore
answeri
ng.
Me:
"myhotbunny"
Andi
swa:
"howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"Iam good,
(si
gh)f
ullhouse"
Andi
swa:
"youri
nlawsvi
sit
ing?"
Me:
"ohhel
lno.I
t'
sThapel
o"
Andi
swa:
"ohIhavemi
ssedhi
m,Iam sur
ehei
s
gr
own"
Me:
"toogr
own.Iam anaunt"
Andi
swa:
"wear
eaunt
ies?"
Me: "yeah.I
t'
spainf
ulst
ory,
wil
ltel
lyouoneday
beforehewalksi
nandsaysIam spi
ll
inghi
s
business"
Andi
swa:
"takehi
mtocounci
li
ng.I
tgoesal
ong
way"
Me:
"howar
eyou,
yourl
if
e?"
Andi
swa:
"Iam good.Not
hingi
sint
erest
ing"
Me:"t
her
ehast
obesomet
hing.Howi
sthel
it
tl
e
bun?"
Shewassi
lent
.
Me:
"Andi
swa?
"
Andi
swa:
"Iam notpr
egnantanymor
e"
Me:
"ohIam sor
ryhoney,
youwi
llhavemor
eki
ds.
"
Andi
swa:Idon'
twantanymor
eabor
ti
ons"
Me:
"Andi
swawhywoul
dyouabor
tachi
ld?Why?
"
Andi
swa:
"itwasn'
tmychoi
ce,i
twasNtet
hel
elo
andt
heDrsaidi
fIkeept
hebabyIwon'
tmakei
t"
Me:
"oh,
Iam sor
ry"
Andi
swa:
"yeah,
Iam r
emovi
ngmywomb"
Me:
"itcan'
tber
epai
red?"
Andi
swa:
"no."
Me:
"ohIsee"
Andi
swa:
"anywayIwi
llcal
lyoul
ater"
Me;
"ok,
Iloveyou"
Andi
swa:
"Il
oveyoumor
e"
WehungupandIputmyphoneonthecount
erand
car
ri
edoncooki
ng.Iam wor
ri
edaboutAndi
swa
al
otaswel
l.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

It
ri
edopeningmyeyesandt heywereali
tt
lebl
urr
y.
Thebloodhasstoppedbuttheheadachewasthere
st
il
l.Itr
iedt
ositandifhur
ts.Icouldhearthecar
parki
ngfr
om theoutsi
deandIcl
osemyeyesand
soonaft
erthedooropens
Kau:
"sor
ryIl
eftear
ly.
..
."
Hest
oppedt
alki
ngandcamecl
oser
.
Kau:
"Skat"
Iopenedmyeyesandhecr
ouchedI
nfr
ontofme.
Kau:
"whathappened,
whyi
syourt
opbl
oody?"
Me:
"mynosewasbl
eedi
ng"
Kau:
"let
'st
akeyout
ogetDr"
Me:
"noIf
eelbet
ter"
Kau:
"ifyousayso"
InoddedAndheki
ssedme.
Me:
"howar
ethey?"
Kau:
"wear
eal
ljust,
weneedt
ofi
ndt
hecul
pri
t"
Me:
"tr
ue.I
twi
llwor
kout"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
48] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t54

*
SESETHU*

IbathedmybodyandIwasn' tfeel
ingok.Ifel
t
drai
nedatt hatmoment,Igotoutofthebat
htub
andIwr appedatowelar
oundmeandKauwas
l
ayingont hebed.
Me:
"canyougetmyphone?
"
Kau:
"Iam wor
ri
ed."
Me:
"canIgetmyphone?"
Het
ookmyphonefrom t
hedr
esserandhegaveit
t
ome.IsatonthebedandIcal
ledSiyamt
handa.
Si
ya:
"Babesyouok?"
Me:
"wher
ear
eyou?"
Si
ya:
"att
hehospi
tal"
Me:"Pl
easesendanambul
ance,I
..
.Iam not
f
eel
ingwell
."
Si
ya:
"ok.Iwi
ll"
Me:
"thankyou"
Ihungupandt
urnedt
oKau.
Me:
"anambul
ancei
scomi
ng"
Kau:
"Wi
lli
tar
ri
veont
ime?"
Me:
"itwi
ll"
Kau:
"let
'sgetyoudr
essed."
Me:
"Iam j
ustdoi
ngt
hist
oeaseyourmi
nd"
Kau:
"thankyou"
Hegotof fthebedandIt
ouchedmynoseandIwas
bleeding.Ilai
dbackont
hebedandl
ookedatthe
ceil
ing.
Kau:
"comel
et'
sgetyoudr
essed."
Isatupandbloodr
andownmynose, hest
oodup
andwenttothebat
hroom andcamebackwi tha
wetcoldt
owelandputitonmyf or
ehead.Hel ai
d
medownandgotmedr essedwhil
elayingt
here.I
cl
osemyeyes.
Kau:
"Don'
tcl
oseyoureyes."
Me:
"iwon'
t"
Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadashecar
ri
edondr
essi
ng
meup.
.
.
*
KAU*

Iam wor r
iedaboutSesethu,Iam tr
yingt
otopani
c
j
usttokeephercal m andnotstr
essedbutIam
str
essing.Ihopesomet hingisf
oundandwecan't
begoingt hr
oughallofthesethi
ngsatonce.Sheis
goingtobef i
ne.Ij
ustconcludedthat.
Me:
"Set
hu"
Shegr
oaned.Isi
ghedofr
eli
efandIhear
dthe
ambul
ance.
Me:
"theyar
eher
ebaby"
Shewassilent.Iwentdownt hestai
rsandwentt o
openthedoorandt heparamedicsgotoutofthe
ambulancewi t
hthestret
cher.Idi
rectedthem
i
nsideandt heywalkedupthestai
rsandcar r
iedher
downandl aidheronthestret
cherandweal l
walkedout.Myhear tist
huddingpainful
lyagai
nst
mychest.Iholdherhandaswemove.
Me:
"openyoureyes"
Shedidbef
oreshecl
osedt
hem. Iwasmor
e
worr
iednow.
.
.
*
THABI
SA*

Irememberclosi
ngmybedroom wi
ndowyetIfeel
cold.Iopenedmyeyesandthecur
tai
nismovi
ng
aroundasthewindbl
ew.Iheardacrocki
ngsound,
andapar
tofmef
rozeont
hespot
.
"Youknowwhatyougetf
ormessi
ngwi
thme"
Isatup.
Razor:
"Iam notKau,
wher
eisWendy?"
Me:
"idon'
tknow"
Heshotmypi
ll
owandIj
umped.
Razor:
"Youwi
llpayf
orhersi
ns,
ifyoudon'
ttal
k"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowr
eal
ly"
Razor
:"youknowwhatshedi
d?"
Ishookmyhead.
Razor:
"shebur
nedmyhar
dwor
kandt
houghtshe
coul
dgetawaywit
hit"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry.I
..
..
"
Razor:
"sor
rywon'
tbr
ingi
tback"
Ikeptqui
et.Razordoesn'
tbl
uffandpl
ay.
Razor
:"Iam gonnaaskonel
astt
ime."
Ne:
"pl
easeIdon'
tknow.Ir
eal
lydon'
tknow."
Razor:
"fuck!"
Heshotmywal landial
mostpeedonmyself.He
keepsshoot
ingnearme.Myheartisbeat
ingfast.
Razor:
"Iam keepi
ngmyeyeonyou"
Inoddedandhewal kedoutt
hefrontdoor.Il
etout
aheavysighandtookmyphoneandt r
iedcal
li
ng
Wendybutnothi
ng.Whywoul dshedot hat?She
knowswhatrazoriscapabl
eoffandput t
ingmein
themiddl
eofhershit!
Me:
"damni
tWendy!"
.
.
*
KAU*

Wereachedthehospi
talandgotout
.Theymoved
heri
nsi
deandshewassi lentandt
hatwor
ri
esme
more,herfr
iendcametousandshecheckedher
hear
tbeat.
Si
ya:
"let
'sgetheri
ntoawar
d.Pl
easest
ayher
e"
Shesaidlooki
ngatmebeforewal ki
ngoff.If
elt
annoyedbutIhadtoobey.Ifeeldefeat
edatthi
s
poi
nt,Iam j
usthopi
ngsheisok.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Iwasr eadingsuchaver yi nterest i

ngbook.It'
scall
TheLovel ybones, Ihavej ustst art
editanit
'squiet
i
nt eresti
ng.Iam al sot r
yingt opasst i
meandst ar
t
get t
ingintot hehabbi tofr eadi ng.Thebooki sabout
a14yearol dgi r
lwhowasr apedandmur deredby
hernei ghbourandi snowshar ingherheavenly
event sthroughwhi l
ewat chi ngherf amil
ycarryon
withl i
feandal sot heinvest i
gat ionsoffi
ndi
ngher
body. .Iwonderi fheavenhasal lyourdesi
resjust
l
ikehowi t'
sl aidouther e.Maybenot, t
hedoor
opensandhewal ksinhol dingapl ast
icandhe
sighs.Icar r
yonr eadi ngi nsi l
enceandonl yt he
kitchenlighti sonandi talsocanl i
ghtuptowher eI
am .Hegoesandput st hepl ast i
cawayasIwat ch
hi
mthent
urnbackt
omybook.
Nt
ambo:
"whatal
ongday"
Hesi
tsnextt
omeandIam consumi
ngmysel
fin
t
hesebi
gwordsi
nfr
ontofme.
Nt
ambo:
"Howwasyourday?"
Me:
"itwasok"
Ihaven'
tli
ft
edmyeyesof
fthebook.
Nt
ambo:
"Am Inotget
ti
ngaki
ss?
"
Il
ookathi
m andki
sshi
scheek.
Nt
ambo:
"whatar
eyour
eadi
ng?"
Ishowhi
mthet
it
le.
Nt
ambo:
"isi
tni
ce?"
Me:
"yeah"
Ipaget
othenextpage.
Ntambo:"whyengat
hiawungi
shayi
si(whyi
sitl
ike
Iam i
rr
it
ati
ngyou?)"
Me:
"youar
enot"
Nt
ambo:"Ngi
bhekemangi
ringanaweKhensani
(l
ookatmewhenItal
ktoyou)"
Hesnt
achedt
hebookf
rom myhandsandcl
osedi
t.
Me:
"Iam st
il
lreadi
ng"
Ntambo:
"tal
ktome,
youhavebeenver
ysour
l
atel
y"
Me:
"youar
eseei
ngt
hings"
Nt
ambo:
"am I?"
Me:
"maybeyouar
enot"
Igotof
fthecouchandhepul
ledmet
ohi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"sowear
egonnahaveast
upi
dfi
ght?"
Me:"i
t'
snotst
upidwhenyouseemeasababy
pr
oduci
ngmachine"
Nt
ambo:
"Ineversai
dyouwer
e"
Me:"noti
nmanywor dsbutyoudi
d!Iam nott
hat
Fezi
leIam mor
ethanthat"
Ntambo:"whyar eyoushouti
ng?Wearet
alki
ng
hereandjustbecauseIwantust
ohaveki
ds
t
ogetherdoesn'
tmeanyouar
ebabypr
oduci
ng
machine"
Me:
"let
'sj
ustl
eavei
t"
Ntambo: "nowearenot,
entl
ekufunaniKi
mi
khensani(whatdoyouwantexact
lykhensani?
)"
Me:
"not
hing."
Iyankedmyar mfr
om hi
sgr
ipandhehel
dmewi
th
theotherhand.
Nt
ambo:"si
ngaxhabani(l
et'
snotst
eponeach
ot
her)
"
Me:
"Iwantt
ogoandl
iedown"
Nt
ambo:
"don'
ttestmeKhensani"
Ikeptqui
et"
Nt
ambo:"whereareyouget
ti
ngt
hisbabymaki
ng
machi
nenonsensefr
om huh?"
Me:
"whydon'
tyoueverwantt
ogetmar
ri
ed?
"
Nt
ambo:
"Ij
ustdon'
teverwantt
odot
hat"
Inoddedwi
tht
ear
spr
ickl
ingmyeyes.
Me:
"Il
oveyoubutIcan'
tcompr
omi
set
hat"
Nt
ambo:
"whatar
eyousayi
ng?"
Me:
"Ineedt
oli
edown.Goodni
ght"
Iwal
kedof
f
.
.
*
NTAMBO*

Idon'
tunderstand.Wej ustscreamedandshouted
ateachotherandst i
llIdon'tseewhereorwhywe
werefi
ghting.Isighedandsatont hecouchtaki
ng
outmyphoneandcal l
ingmom.Shei sawoman
andshe!i
ghtunder standwhyKhensanii sbehaving
thi
sway.Sheanswer ed.
Mom :
"Fezi
lear
eyouok?"
Me:
"yesandnoIam notget
ti
ngar
rest
ed."
Shesi
ghedofr
eli
ef.
Mom :
"what
swr
ong?
"
Me:
"(si
gh)
it
skhensani"
Mom :
"whathappened?"
Me: "shehasn'
tbeenher
selfl
atel
yandtodayIwas
tr
yingtofi
ndoutwhatistheprobl
em andIfeell
i
ke
shejustdumpedme."
Mom :
"whatdi
dshesay?"
Me:"wesai
dal
otf
rom mar
ri
aget
ohersayi
ngshe
can'
tcompr
omi
sethat
."
Mom :
"youwantt
ogetmar
ri
edandshedoesn'
t"
Me:
"no,
Idon'
twantt
ogetmar
ri
ed"
Mom :
"whyar
eyoust
il
lwi
thher?"
Me:
"Il
ovehersomuch"
Mom :
"thenwhat
'st
hepr
obl
em ?Whydon'
tyou
wantt
ogetmarri
ed?"
Me:
"mar
ri
agechangespeopl
e"
Mom :
"whot
oldyout
hat?"
Me:
"it
'swhatIsaw"
Shesi
ghed.
Mom : "khensaniwantstogetmarr
iedbutyoudon't
.
Shecan' tcompromisebeingasi
tinbabymamaf ot
youforherwhol eli
fe.Bei
ngyourgirl
fr
iendf
orallof
herl
ife.Shewantt obeMr ssomeoneaswel l"
Me:
"butmah"
Mom :"youknowbetterFezil
e.Tal
ktoherabout
yourf
ears.Sheisyourpartner"
Ikeptqui
et.
Mom :
"youhearme?"
Me:
"yeah"
Mom :
"good.Goodni
ght"
Me:
"goodni
ght"
ShehungupandIsighed.Istoodupandwal
kedt
o
thesecondbedr
oom andiknockedont
hedoor
.
Me:Khen"
Shewassi
lent
.
Me:
"Khensaniopenupandl
et'
stal
kbaby"
St
il
lnot
hing.Isi
ghedl
eani
ngagai
nstt
hedoor
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
48] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t55

*
KAU*

Iwassti
llr
oot
edont
hecouchi
nthesit
ti
ngroom.I
st
andupandoaveupanddownandSethu'
sfri
end
walksi
nandmakeswaytomeandirushtoher
.
Me:
"Howi
sshe?"
Si
ya:
"shewi
llbef
ine"
Me:
"fi
ne?What?"
Siya:
"Headachesandcasesofepi
staxi
s,or
nosebl
eeds,
arecommon.Nosebleedsoccurduet
o
burstorbr
okenbloodvessel si
nthenose.Havinga
headacheandanosebl eedcanbeasi gnofami nor
i
ssue,suchashayf ever,orsomethi
ngmor esevere,
suchasanemia,oral owr edbl
oodcellcount
."
Isatdown.
Siya:"shemayf i
ndithardertobreatheduringher
pregnancy.Thisi
sbecauset heli
ningofhernose
andnasalpassagegetsmor eblood.Thei ncreased
amountofbl oodtot
hesmal lvesselsinhernose
cancausenosebleeds."
Me:
"soyouar
esayi
ngshemi
ghtdi
e?"
Si
ya:
"No.That
snotwhatiam sayi
ng."
Me:
"thenwhati
sit?"
Siya:"sheisjustexperiencinghormonalchanges,
i
thappensespeci all
yduringthefi
rstt
ri
mester.Thi
s
canalsocauseheadaches.A doct ori
sneededif
theheadachesar esevereanddon’ tgoway.This
maybeasi gnofpr eecl
ampsi a,
orhighbl
ood
pressureandor gandamage.i nyourcaseyou
broughtheront ime."
Me:
"canIseeher?"
Si
ya:
"Yesyoucancome"
Ist
oodupandf
oll
owedaf
terhert
ogoandsee
Set
hu.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Iwassi t
ti
ngont hecouchwaiti
ngf orhimt oar r
ive
from wher eeverhewentto.Ihavel ower edthet v
volumeandt uckedmyselfunderasmal lfleece
drinkingsomewar mlemonwat er.Icouldseet he
headl ightsfrom t
hecarappearf r
om outsideand
reflectingintheinsideaswell
.Icar r
yondr i
nking
asIsi ti nsil
ence.Tedoorisbeingf i
ddledwi thand
heopenst hedoorandclosesitthenturnst ome.
Hef i
rststopst olookatmeandIdot hesamebut
nonofusut terasingl
eword.
Razor
:"Whyar
eyoust
il
lawake?"
Me:
"Icoul
dfeelIwassl
eepi
ngal
one"
Hesighsandput
shiscarkeysont hetabl
eandsi
ts
nexttome.Agunappearsfrom thebackofhi
s
pantsashi
stopgoesupabitreveali
ngit.
Me:
"WoahyouCar
eyagunar
ound?"
Razor:
"Shi
t!"
Hest
andsupandIdot
hesameaswel
l
.
Razor:
"Iwi
llbeback"
Me:
"Expl
ain.I
t'
sdanger
oust
ocar
rygunar
ound"
Razor:
"Iam sor
ry.Youwon'
teverseei
tagai
n"
Me:"Ihopeyoudidn'
tki
llanyonewi
thi
tbecauseI
am notpr
eparedt
ohavemyhusbandbehindbars"
Razor:
"Youwon'
t"
Hepul
lshi
stopdown.
Me:
"Canyougetr
idfi
t.?I
tcr
eepsmeout"
Razor:
"Iwi
ll"
Iper
khi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Thankyou"
It
ookmycupandwal
kedt
otheki
tchenandputi
tin
thesi
nkandwalkedbacktotheloungeandhewas
gone.Isi
ghedandswitchedoffthet
vbefor
egoi
ng
tobed.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Thingshavebeen, howdoIputi t?OkIcansay.

Wear ejuststuckononet hingandit'st
hewomb
i
ssue.Idon' tknowwhyNt ethel
eloi
sf i
ghtingme
overmybody, Ireall
ywantt oremoveitandhe
doesn'tunderstandthatIdon' twanttogot hrough
whatIwentt hroughagai n.Ipackedmyl apt
opi n
mybagandt ookt heboxf il
ledwiththelearner'
s
writ
ti
ngbooksandIwal kedoutoft hestudyand
wenttot hel
ounge.
Letho:"Mommy,
Lookyoudi
dn'
ttaket
his
yester
day"
Shegavemeapaperandithadanotsowel
ldone
hear
tandupsi
dedownlet
ters.
Me:
"Thankyoubaby"
Iki
ssedhercheek.
Let
ho:"am Igonnagoseemommyanddaddy
number2?"
Me:
"Iwi
llcal
lmommy"
Let
ho:
"canwegowi
thZi
khal
i,hei
sal
waysl
eftout
"
Me:
"sur
ewhynot"
"Hewon'
tgo"
Hewal
keddownt
hest
air
s.
Me:
"Goandcal
lhi
m.Wear
eleavi
ng"
Let
honoddedandwentt
ocal
lherbr
other
.
Me:
"mor
ning"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"hei
snotgoi
ngAndi
swa"
Me:
"Ij
ustgr
eet
edyou"
Itur
nedmybackawayf
rom hi
m andpi
ckedupmy
thi
ngs.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Whydon'
tyoust
ayathome?"
Me:
"Pl
easedon'
tst
art"
Nt
ethel
elo.:
"wi
th?"
Me:"Di
ctati
ngever
ythi
ngIdo.Nextyouwi
llt
ell
me
howtodress"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"that
'sext
remeandyouar
est
il
lont
he
wombissue"
Me:"yesIam ,
whydon'
tyouwantmet
oremovei
t
?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Idon'
twantyour
egr
ett
ingi
t."
Me:
"Iwon'
tregr
eti
tasmuchast
hatabor
ti
on."
Tearsstr
eameddownmyeyesandIsatonthe
couch.Hetr
iedt
omovecl
oserbutIshookmyhead.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"sugarpl
um "
Ishookmyheadwhi
lesobbi
ng.
"I
smommyok?"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"yesmommyi
sok,
justsad"
Zi
khal
i:
"why?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Got
othecar,
Iwi
llt
akeyout
oschool"
Hegavet
hem t
hecarkeysandt
heywal
kedout
.
Ntet
helel
o:"Andiswawecan'tkeepgoingincir
cles.
Iwon'tapol
ogiseformaki
ngther i
ghtdeci
sionfor
ourki
dsandf ormeaswel lasforever
yone.Iwon't
"
Hest
oodup
Nt
ethel
elo:
"takeadayof
f"
Hewal
kedoutandIsobbedaf
tert
hedoorcl
osed.
.
.
*
DINA*

Hespl ashesthewat erar

oundandIpi ckhim up,
getti
nghim outfthewat erandhet hr
owshi shands
i
nt heairandIsmi l
eandagi gglesoundescaped
hisli
ps.Il ayhim nexttohissisterandIwipedhis
bodyandt ookanappyandputi tonhim andalso
vaseli
neonhi sbodybef oregetti
nghi m dr
essedin
clot
hesandItookhi sbottl
eandgavei ttohim and
hetookitandstart
edsucki ng.Itookthebaby
bathi
ngtubandwentt odi scardthewaterandthey
arebothlooki
ngatme.Ver ysil
entl
ywhilesucking
thei
rmilkoutofthatbott
le.Itouchedmyst omach
andlookedatthem att
entively.
"
Ther
eyouar
e,It
houghtyour
anaway"
Hewalksinandwr apshi
sarmsaroundmywaist,
hi
sperfumescenthitsmynost
ri
lsfr
eshl
yandhe
wrapshisarmsaroundmeandonehandontopof
mineandkissesmycheek.Iremovemyhandf r
om
mystomach.
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Zamani:
"Howar
eyou?"
Me:
"Iam good"
It
urnedar
oundandgavehi
m aper
kbef
oref
ixi
ng
hi
stie.
Me:
"cour
t?"
Zamani:
"yes,
whyar
eyouupear
ly?"
Me:
"Iam t
aki
ngt
hem t
otheDrf
oravacci
ne,
I
al
readybooked"
Zamani:
"It
hinkt
heygotone"
Me:
"Ij
ustwantt
obesur
e"
Zamani:
"ok"
Heki
ssesmyl
ipsandIr
espond.Hebr
okei
t.
Zamani:
"di
dyoucal
lyourf
ami
ly?
"
Iswal
lowedbef
oreshaki
ngmyhead.
Me:
"thel
astt
imewespokeendedonbadt
erms."
Zamani:
"Justt
hisoncet
otol
erat
ethem f
orus"
Me:
"Iam scar
ed"
Hesi
ghed.
Zamani:
"Iwi
llnevercheatonyouagai
n."
Me: "Iwanttotr
ustyoubuti
t'
sdif
fi
cul
tto.Theonly
reasonthathasn'tmademewalkoutt
hatdoor
foreveri
sbecauseoftheki
ds,andmelovingyou
butmost l
ythekids."
Zamani:
"Iam sor
ry"
Wewer
edi
stur
bedbyacr
y.
Me:
"got
owor
k.Wemi
ghtswi
ngby"
Zamani:"Ihaveaopeni
ngbet
ween13h00and
14h00"
Me:
"wewi
llcome"
Ipi
ckuponeoft
hem.
Zamani:
"Ihavet
orush.Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Hewentout
.
.
.
*
THABI
SA*

Ihavetr
iedWendyacoupl
eofti
mesbutsti
ll
nothi
ng.Iam st
art
ingt
ogetr
eall
yir
ri
tat
ed.
Me:
"Wendypi
ckup"
Isayaf t
ert
he6thvoicemai
lIhavereachedthis
morning.Igroanandputmyphonedown.I fshe
doesn'twanttosur
facet
henIwil
lhavetofindher
onmyown.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

iopenedmyeyesandscannedar oundandIwasin
ahospitalbed.Mythi
ghsfel
theavyanditr
iedt
o
movet hem andi
tgotl
ight
er.
Kau:
"skat"
Hekissesmyfor
eheadandhei
sst
il
linyest
erday'
s
cl
othesandl
ooksti
red.
Kau:
"skatyouscar
edme"
Iaskedf
orwat
erandhehel
pedmedr
inkup.
Me:
"ist
hebabyok?"
Kau:
"yes,
wegother
eont
ime."
Inodded.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Kau:
"don'
tbe.Iam gl
adyouar
eok,
Iloveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Kau:
"letmegof
indaDrok"
Ichuckl
edandhel
ookedatme.
Me:
"not
hing"
Heshookhi
sheadbef
orewal
kingout
.
.
.

Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
48] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t56

*
KHENSANI*

If
eelnumbandhurtatt
hesameti
me.IloveFezi
le,
somuchbuthehashisownbel
ief
sandt
hingshe
won'tcompr omi seonandsoasI .Ican' tf
orcehim
tomar rymebecauseIwantt hat.I thast obe
somet hingwebot hwantandIwoul dl ovetogrow
oldwi t
hhim andhaveki dsbutki dsal onejust
doesn'tfeelokf orme.If eel l
ikeIwi l
lbehi sbaby
producingmachi nethat'
sall.Igetof fthebedandI
sendamessaget oUnathithatIwon' tbecomi ngin
todayandshet ellsmesheunder stands.Ishoul dn'
t
burdenher, alreadyshehasherownpr oblemsand
herhusbandj ustlosthisbusiness.Whowoul d
wantt odot hattosomeone.Honest l
yIdon't
understandpeopl eandneverwi llIguess.Imake
thebedandopent hedoorandwal kt ot he
bathroom andl ookedatmysel ft
hr ought hemirr
or
andmyeyesar eSwol lenandpuf f yaswel l
.My
nosei sreddishaswel l.Iopent het apwat eronthe
sinkandIwashmyf acewithcol dwat erbeforeI
brushmyt eeth.
"
Mor
ning"
Icl
osethetapwaterbutdar
ednott
olookuptot
he
mir
rorasyetort
urnaround.Isi
ghandcarr
yon
wit
hwhatIam doing.
Me:
"Mor
ning"
Sil
encef
il
lsinbetweenusanonl
ytensi
onst
art
sto
buil
dupbitbybit
.
Nt
ambo:
"Khencanwet
alk?
"
Me:
"It
'sOkFezi
lewedon'
tneedt
otal
k"
Ifi
nishupandIcl
osethetapandtur
naroundand
heisstandi
ngbythedoor
.Het r
iest
otouchmy
cheekbutImovemyheadback.
Me:
"CanIpass?"
Nt
ambo:
"Khensani"
Me:
"Mmmh?
"
Ntambo:"Iknowyouwantust
ogetmar
ri
edsome
daybutIam scar
ed."
Me:
"Ofwhat?"
If
rowned.
Nt
ambo:
"Youdon'
tunder
stand"
Me:"Makemeunderst
and.Thatr
eal
lywearebot
h
wast
ingeachot
her
'sti
mehere.Wecan'tgoin
ci
rclesFezi
leSi
badalamasibangaka.(Wearetoo
oldfort
hat)Ifwearejustpl
ayingheret
hem l
et'
s
calli
tqui
tsfort
henext"
Ntambo:
"Thatwon'
thappen.Wewon'
tcal
litqui
ts
ever
."
Me:"Iwanttogetmarr
iedsomedayFezi
leandI
can'
tlookf
ormarri
ageinthewr
ongplace"
Ntambo;
"Coul
dyouj
ustl
etmet
alkwi
thoutf
uel
ing
up?"
If
oldedmyar
ms.
Me:
"Ok"
Hesi
ghed.
Ntambo: "Myparentsmarri
agewasver ybad.The
waymydadt reat
ed!ymot her,
Idon'twishi
tonany
woman.Iwi t
nessedgruesomet hi
ngsbeingdone
toherfrom averyyoungageyetsheal wayst
riedt
o
hideherpainfrom me.Idon'twantyougoing
throughthat"
Myangereasedupabit
.Ist
eppedcl
osert
ohi
m
andhel
dhischeeks.
Me:
"whosai
dyouwi
llbel
ikeyourf
ather?"
Nt
ambo:
"Iam myf
ather
'sson"
Me:"Youar enot
.Youar
eawonder fulguyFezi
le,
don'
tletyourpar
ent
smi
stakesaf
fectyou",
Nt
ambo:
"it
'snott
hateasy"
Me:
"Haveyout
oldmahort
akent
her
apybef
ore?"
Heshookhi
shead.
Me: "Youneedt o.Youaretraumat
izedandscar
ed
ofcommi t
ingyoursel
fint
hatbigl
eveli
na
rel
ationshi
p."
Ntambo:"KhensaniIdon'
twantt
ogetmarri
ed.I
haveaccept
edthat.Idon'
twantt
olooseyoueit
her
"
Iswal
lowed.
Me:
"Oh"
Ntambo:"Ithi
nkitwouldbebestmaybeifIpay
l
obolaforyou.Atl
eastdoonethingr
ight,Ican
compromisethat"
Inoddedsl
owl
ynotsur
e.
Me:
"Pleaset
alktomahaboutever
ythi
ng.Tal
kto
mepl
easeIam yourpar
tner"
Heper
kedmyl
ips.
Nt
ambo:
"Iwi
ll,
Ipr
omi
se.Ar
eyoumadatme?"
Me:"Iam notmadbuti
sam notsur
eofanyt
hing
r
ightnoweither
."
Ntambo:"pl
ease,
pleasedon'
tleaveme.
Ihave
openedmysel
fupt
olovingyou"
Hepl
acedhi
sfor
eheadonmi
ne.
Me:
"Comeher
e"
Wesharedahug.Idon'
tknow,
real
lyIdon'
tknow
atal
l.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Dr:
"youar
ethepat
ientt
hist
ime"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"thet
eacherbecomest
hest
udentatt
imes"
Dr:
"Yest
rue."
Kau:
"Whencansheber
eleased?"
Heseemedcl
ear
lyannoyed.
Dr:
"Shecanber
eleasedt
hisaf
ter
noon."
Me:
"Thankyou"
Dr:
"Iwi
llcheckuponyoul
ater
."
Kau:
"Iam sur
eDrKhumal
owi
llbebackbyt
hen"
Me:
"Babe"
Dr:
"Br
other?
"
Kau:
"Fi
ance"
Henar
rowedhi
seyes.
Me:
"Ineedsomer
est"
Il
ookedatt
hebot
hoft
hem andt
heDrwal
kedout
.
Me:
"whatwast
hatal
labout?
"
Kau:
"Hewant
syouandIcanseei
t"
Me:
"Thatj
eal
ousywasn'
tcut
eatal
l"
Kau:"I
t'sneversupposedt
obecut
eal
lthet
ime.
Heisdisrespect
ful"
Me:
"cal
m down"
Het
ouchedmyst
omach.
Kau:
"Howar
eyout
wo?"
Me:
"wear
efeel
ingok,
rightbaby?"
Hechuckl
ed.
Kau:
"Il
oveyout
wo"
Me:
"wel
oveDaddyt
oor
ightbaby?"
HechuckledandheldmyhandandIhel
dhi
sas
wel
l.Ikisseditandhesmi
led.
.
.
*
DINA*

Wegott ot
heDr'
soffi
ceandthekidswereasl
eepin
thei
rdoubl
est
rol
ler
.Iwasscroll
ingthr
oughmy
phonewhil
ewait
ingformyturnt
ogetintheDr's
of
fi
cewhenal
adysatnextt
omewi
that
oddl
er.
Lady:
"Hi"
Il
if
tedmyeyesup.
Me:
"hi"
Ismi
led.
Lady:
"mustbeni
cehavi
ngt
winsl
ikeyour
s"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"yeah"
Lady:"whenIhel
dmydaughterinmyar
msf
ort
he
fi
rstt
imeIknewthatIl
ovedher
."
Ne:
"Met
oo.I
t'
snat
uralf
eel
ing"
Lady:
"somuch.Youar
emar
ri
ed"
Shel
ookedatmyr
ing."
Me:
"Engaged"
Lady:
"Lucky.Thef
ather?"
Me:
"Yes."
Lady:
"Howl
onghaveyoubeent
oget
her?"
Me:
"5year
s"
Lady:
"that
'
slongbutatl
easthei
smar
ryi
ngyou.
Someofusdidn'
tgett
hatchance"
Me:
"Mmmh"
Ismi
led.
"Khumal
o!"
Ist
oodup.
Me:
"ni
cemeet
ingyou"
Lady:
"sameher
e"
Istoodupandwenti
nsi
depushi
ngt
heki
ds
str
oller
sandcl
osedt
hedoor
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*
Iwokeupveryearl
ytodayanddeci
dedtodosome
l
itt
lecl
eani
ngbeforer
azorwakesup.Iwasl
ist
eni
ng
tosomemusiconmyear phoneswhil
esweepi
ng
andmyphoner ang.I
twasQamoandIanswer ed
t
hecal
l.
Qamo:
"Si
s"
Me:
"Hey,
howar
eyou?"
Qamo:
"Ishoul
dbeaski
ngt
hat,
howar
eyou?"
Isi
ghed.
Qamo:
"Ihear
d"
Me:"Hei
sgoingmad.It'
sdri
vinghi
m crazyandhe
shut
sdownanothermi
nute.Idon'
tknowwhatto
do"
Qamo: "dothebestthatyoucan,
supporthi
m and
comforthi
m.Eveni fyouhavenothi
ngtosayit
'sok.
Holdi
nghishandmeansal ot"
Me:"Yeah.(Si
gh)Ihopewef
indt
heper
sonwho
di
dthi
s"
Qamo: "Youwi
ll
.LookIhavet
ogo,
wasj
ust
checki
nguponyou"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Qamo:
"Il
oveyou,
allwi
llbeok"
Me:
"thankyou"
Shehungup. Icar
ri
edonsweepi
ngandIgotdone
andtur
nedar
ound.
Me:
"Ohyouar
eup"
Razor:
"Icoul
dn'
tsl
eepanymor
e"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Razor:
"Howi
smywi
fedoi
ng?"
Me:
"Ver
yfi
ne.YouNgomane?"
Razor:"Iam good.Iwi
llf
etchLet
hoandAnel
e
af
terschool."
Me:
"ok."
Razor:
"ar
eyougoi
ngi
natwor
k?"
Ne:
'yes,
khensanii
snotcomi
ngsoIhavet
o."
Razor:
"ok.Iwi
llt
akeyout
owor
k."
Me:
"Thankyoubabe."
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Letmegomakebr
eakf
ast
."
Iwal
kedt
otheki
tchen.
.
.
*
DINA*
Ohmypoormucnhi es.Thei rcr iespi ercedmyhear t
i
napai nfulway.It r
iedsoot hingt hem onebyone
untiltheywer eofftosl eep.Wewal kedoutandI
thankedt herecept i
onistandsai dmygoodbyest o
thel adyIjustmet .Ipushedt heirst rollertomycar
andIopenedt hebackandoutt hem ont heircar
seat sandIbuckl edt hem upandcl osedt hedoor
afterloadingtheirbagsandputt hest rol
lerinside
thecarandgoti nt hef ront.Ist ar t
edt hecarand
droveof f.Istil
lhave30mi nut esbef oreoneandI
am hungr yaswel l
.IpassbyKFCandgetsome
foodt ochewonandt hendr i
veof ftoZamani 'slaw
fi
rm.WhenIgott her e,t hepr i
ncesswasupand
sil
ent l
ylookingathersur roundi ngs.Igott hem out
andputt hem i nthest rollerandcover edi twit
ha
blanketsaf t
erlockingt hecarandmademyway
i
nsi deandgr eetedt her ecept ioni st.Itwasmy3r d
ti
mebei ngbeinginhereinal
lthese5years.My
stomachcr i
ngedthatmaybetheymether ebutI
pusheditatthebackofmymi nd.Igotint
he
elevat
oranditwentupaf t
erpressingit
'sf
loor
number .OnceitpingedIgotoutandmademyway
tohisoffi
ce.Igr
eetedhisPawhol ookedatme.
Sheseemednew.
Me:
"Hi"
Her:
"Hi"
Me:
"Isheavai
labl
e?"
Her:
"who?MrKhumal
o?"
Me:
"Yes"
Her:
"Lasttimehewasbusywor ki
ngonahuge
i
mportantcase.Hedoesn'
tneeddist
urbance"
Il
ookedatt
het
ime.I
t'
s13H00.
Me:
"het
oldmeIshoul
dcomeatt
hist
ime."
Her:
"Idon'
tknowbecausehei
sunavai
labl
e"
Ii
gnor
eherandkeeponpushi
ngt
owar
dst
hedoor
.
Her:
"Youcan'
tdot
hat!"
Iopenthedoorandsheisbehi
ndme. Hei s
concernt
rat
ingonthepaper
sinfr
ontofhi
m butl
if
ts
hisheadandasmileisonhisf
ace.Ismil
eri
ght
back.
Her:
"Si
r,Iam sor
ryshe.
..
..
"
Zamani:
"It
'sok.Cl
eogoandgetmywi
feandki
ds
whatt
heyneed."
Cl
eo:
"Wi
fe?"
Zamani:
"Whatdoyouneed?"
Ne:
",bot
tl
edwat
er"
Zamani:
"Ihavei
nher
e"
Ipl
acemybagonthesmal
lcouch.Shewal
ksout
cl
osingt
hedoor
.
Zamani:
"Howar
ethey?"
Me:
"theygott
hei
nject
ionandt
heyar
esl
eepi
ng"
Zamani:
"CanIhol
dyou?"
Inoddedandwal
kedt
ohim andatonhi
slapand
wesharedahug.Hesighed.
Zamani:
"Youar
eGodsent"
Ibecomesi
lent
.
Zamani:
"I'
m..
..
."
Me:
"Don'
tsaysor
ry"
Iputmyf
inger
sonhi
sli
psandhenods.Ipeekhi
s
l
ips.
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
oheari
tanymor
e"
Zamani:
"yesmam"
Inodded.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
49] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t57(
Shor
tinser
t)
*
DINA*

Igotof
fhi
slapandwal
kedt
osi
tont
hecouchand
hejoi
nsmeinit
.
Zamani:
"Whatdi
dyourf
ami
lysay?
"
Me:"Iwillcal
lthem toni
ght,
Iam notr
eadyf
or
whatevertheywillsay"
Hehol
dsmyhand.
Zamani
:"Iam her
e"
Me:
"thankyou"
Ilaidmyheadonhi sshoul
derandpull
edthe
stroll
erwithmylegandhelaughed.Iuncover
ed
theirfacesandwelookedatthem.
Zamani
:"Theyl
ookl
ikeme"
Me:
"Al
ot"
Hesi
ghs.
Me:
"theywi
llbegr
oomedwel
lwi
thusar
ound"
Il
ookedathi
m andhesmi
ledbef
oreki
ssi
ngmyl
ips.
Zamani:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Il
aidmyheadonhi
sshoul
der
.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Aft
erbathingIworemyslippers.Fezi l
ewentoutt o
UnathiandRazor'
shouse, atthispointIdon'tknow
whattodo.Whet hert
ostayj ustforustobehappy
andatpeaceorgoandseekwhatIneed. ij
ustdon't
know.Igoandmakeaqui cksnackbef orelaying
myselfonthecouch.Aknockont hedoordisturbs
mef r
om havingsometvti
meanddi str
acti
ng
myself.Iputther
emotedownandst andupand
walktogoandseewhoi satt hedoor .
Me:
"whoi
sit?
"
Iopent
hedoor
.
"
Khensani"
Me:
"Mahowar
eyou,
uhm comei
n"
Shewalksin.Shelooksbeaut
if
ulandisgl
owi
ng
thanthel
astti
mewesaweachot her
.Wegoand
sett
leonthecouch.
Me:
"Letmegetyousomet
hingt
odr
ink"
Ma:
'Nosi
tdown"
Isi
tdown.Shesi
ghsandhol
dsonherbag.
Ma:
"Fezi
lecal
ledmeyest
erday"
Me:
"Oh"
Ma:"Iunderst
andwhereyouar
ecomingfrom.He
wasconfusedbutIt
hinkhenowunder
stands."
Me:"Heistr
aumat
ized,
hehasf
earandi
tmi
ght
af
fectus"
Ma:
"Iunder
stand."
Shesi
ghs.
Ma: "Helovesyou,hereal
lydoes.Iwil
ltr
ygethi
m
assi
stancebecauseIshoul
dhavenot i
cedthat
growingupinsuchanenvironmentdi
ddamaget o
him."
Me:"Heisagreatman.Ihavenodoubtt
hathei
s
notl
ikehi
sfat
her."
Shesmi
les.
Ma:
"Thankyou"
Thedooropensandhewal
ksi
n.
Nt
ambo:
"Mawhat
'sar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Ma:
"Isi
tacr
imet
ost
opby?"
Nt
ambo:
"No,
uhm noi
t'
snot"
Ma:
"Iwi
llseeyouKhensani"
Nt
ambo:
"wer
en'
tyoust
oppi
ngby?"
Shest
andsupandIdot
hesame.
Ma:
"toseekhensani"
Nt
ambo:
"oh,
letmet
akeyoubackt
hen"
Ma:"No,
Smi
soi
swai
ti
ngf
ormeout
side.Ihavet
o
go"
Sheki
ssedhischeekandhef
rownedbef
oreshe
wal
kedout.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Siya:
"yourt
estresult
scamebackcl ear
.Youcan
gohomebutifyouf eelanyt
hingj
ustcomerushi
ng
back"
Me:
"Iwi
llt
hankyou"
Shenoddedandwal kedout.Kauwal
kedbacki
n
hol
dingpaperbagsandpl acedt
hem nextt
ome
bef
orekissi
ngmyf orehead.
Kau:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:
"Good.Tomor
rowIam get
ti
ngdi
schar
ged"
Kau:
"That
'sgood.Iwaswor
ri
ed"
Me:
"don'
t.Ever
ythi
ngi
sok"
HenodsandIhol
dhi
shandbef
oresi
ghi
ng.
.
.
*
WENDY*
"One,
two,
Boom !(Laughi
ng)
"
Ispi
nar
oundthechairandIstopandlookatthei
r
phot
ost
oget
herthatplasyer
edonthisshacksWall.
Me:"t
hiscoul
d'vebeenus,
yourbusi
nesswoul
d
st
il
lbeher
e"
Istandupandwalktoitandt
akeoutmykni
feandI
cutthei
rfacesgr
oani
ng.
Me:
"Ihat
eyouRazor!Ihat
eyou!"
It
earthepaperupandmybreat
hingpacequi
ck.
Tear
sf al
ldownmycheeksandIcry.
Me:
"whyme?"
Isi
tdownandsob.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Ist
ayedathome.Idi
dpackf
ort
heki
dsandwhen
t
heyretur
ntheycouldl
eave.Ntethelel
ocameback
middayal
onewhileIwasinthekit
chencookingj
ust
t
ogetmymi ndoffthi
ngs.Hepl aceshiskeyson
t
hecounterandki
ssesmycheek.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Hi"
Me:
"hey"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"howwasyourday?"
,
Me:
"itwasok"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"(
sigh)Andi
swaIdon'
tli
keseei
ngus
f
ight"
Hel
ooksatme.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"comeher
e"
Idi
vei
ntohi
sar
msandisob.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Il
oveyouok,
Idon'
tmeant
ohur
tyou"
Me:
"Iknow ,
Iam sor
ry"
Ntet
helel
o:"Iknowit
'smyfaul
tyouareinthi
s
posi
ti
onandf eel
ingt
hispai
n.Ial
sofeeli
t."
Il
if
tedmyheadt
olookathi
m.
Me:
"Iam sor
ryf
ort
hewayIact
ed"
Hewi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"it
'sok"
Me:
"It
'sj
ustI.
..
."
Iputmyheadonhi
schestandIsob,
hebr
ushes
myback.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam sor
rysugarpl
um."
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
49] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t58

If
eelt
ir
ed.Nol
etmer
ephr
ase,
Iam dr
ainedt
oday.
Ididn'
tthinkIwoul dworkt hismuchatt heSalon
especial
lyont hestockdelivery.Ineedt ocheckon
Khensaniandf i
ndoutwhati swr ongt hi
stime
around.Ipar kmycarandt akemybagandgetout
andclosedt hedoorlockingt hecar .Imakemyway
i
nsideandIhearsomegi ggl i
ngandl aughter.
WhenIgeti nIseet hekidsont opoft hecounter
withRazorf eedingAnelesomet hing.Iputmybags
downandmymoodl ightenst hanbef ore.
Me:
"Hel
loever
yone"
Them :
"Mommy!
"
Theyshout.Igi
ggl
eandgrabLethoi
ntoahug.I
seethatZi
khal
iwasal
lowedtocomeaswell
.
Me:
"Heybabyboy"
Zi
khal
i:"Hiaunt
y"
Ihuggedhi
m aswel
landwentont
oAnel
e.
Razor
:"SoIam i
nvi
sibl
e.?
"
Me:
"Iseeyouever
ydayNgomane"
Razor:
"eveni
fyouseemeever
ymi
nut
e."
Ihughi
m.
Me:"Unj
anist
handwaSam ?(Howar
eyoumyl
ove
?)"
Razor:
"Iam good.
"
Me:
"Iam t
ir
edbutgood."
Razor:
"howaboutwegooutt
oday?"
Theynodi
nagr
eement
.
Razor
:"l
et'
sgoandgetyouchanged."
Hegetsthem downf
rom t
hecount
erandt
heyr
ush
of
f.If
oll
owbuthestopsme.
Razor:
"gochanget
osomet
hingcomf
ort
abl
e,Iwi
ll
t
akecareoft
hem "
Inoddedandheki ssedmyf oreheadbefor
ewal ki
ng
off.Iwentt odri
nksomewat erthenIwenttotakea
qui ckbath.Ineedtogetri
dofmysweetscent
mi xedwi t
hmysweat .Ifi
nishedandgotout.Iwent
togetdr essedinj
eansandat opwi t
hsandal
s.Igot
donei njustafewandwal kedout .Theki
dswer e
alsor eadyaswell
.It ookmybag.
Me:
"wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?"
Razor:
"Mal
l"
Me:
"wecanwat
chmovi
est
heneat,
i
sthatf
ine?"
Razor:
"Yeahi
tis"
Me:
"comeki
dsl
et'
sgo"
Theyr
ushedoutandwef
oll
owedaf
tert
hem.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Phi
la:
"Mommy"
Me:
"Mmmh?"
IputLesedii
nthecotasshewasasleepandpul
l
ed
thebl
anketabitonherbody.Phi
lawastappi
ngmy
l
eg.
Phi
la:
"mommy"
Me:
"Wai
tPhi
la,
Iam put
ti
ngyourl
it
tl
esi
stert
orest
"
"I
shecausi
ngpr
obl
ems?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhathewant
s."
Sandi
lewal
ksi
nandcr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofhi
m.
Sandi
le:
"Whatdoyouneed?"
Phi
la:
"Yol
andasai
dImustaski
fwecanhavesome
i
cecream ?"
"Ahphi
la!"
Sandi
lechuckl
ed.
Sandi
le:
"Let
'saskMommy"
Me:"Let
'sgetoutofher
esowedon'
twakeLesedi
up"
Sandi
le:
"mommy?
"
Me:
"Okf
ine.Onescoop"
Theyr
ushedof
fout
sidet
hebedr
oom.
Sandi
le:
"It
alkedt
oThapel
o"
Me:
"Yeah?"
Sandi
le:
"Somet
hingi
snotok"
Me:
"l
ike?"
If
oldedt
hebl
anket
sandl
ookedathi
m.
Sandi
le:
"li
keDat
ing"
Me:
"Ohno!Ineedt
otal
ktohi
m."
Sandi
le:
"cal
m down"
Me:"hewi
llendupsl
eepi
ngwi
tht
hatgi
rlt
henhas
ababy"
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llsor
titoutok?"
Ikeptqui
et.Hehel
dmywai
standper
kedmyl
ips.
Sandi
le:
"ok?"
Me:
"ok"
Sandi
le:
"Nowl
etsgetdeser
t"
Me:
"whi
chone?"
Ismi
rked.
Sandil
e:"Theoneintheki
tchenf
ir
stt
hent
heone
thatwegetfr
om here"
Me:
"Themenuesoundsappet
isi
ng"
Wechuckl
ed.
Me:
"Il
oveyouandt
hankyou"
Sandi
le:
"Il
oveyou"
.
.
*
DINA*

Ilookedatt hepaperInfrontofmeandIbr eathed

outbef oretaki
ngmyphoneanddi al
ingthe
number sandoutthephoneonmyear .I tranga
fewt i
mesandIwashol dingmybreath,
wai t
ingfor
anythingt hat
'sabouttocomemyway.
Aunt
y:"
Hel
lo"
Me:
"Rakgadikennal
ineo(
Aunt
yit
'smeLi
neo)
"
Aunty:"ubatl
aengho' na?!hakeaujoet
sahoreu
i
karol
el el
apengl
ee?!
(Whatdoyouwantf r
om me?
Di
dn'tItel
lyoutodi
stanceyoursel
ffr
om t
hisf
amil
y
?!)
"
Me:
"ee,
empa.
..
.(Yes,
but.
..
.)
"
Aunty:
"empaeng? !huhLineo?hakebatl
ehoutloa
hotsoahouena?!
(Butwhat? !HuhLineo?Idon'
t
wanttohearf
rom you?!)
"
Me:"Keat
sebahor
eont l
hoi
leRakgadi.
..
..
(Iknow
youhat
emeAunty.
..
..
)"
Aunty:
"Hakeuhl oee,keaunyel i
sangoana, j
oal
o
kahaMol i
mooahaual ahl
il
emme.ket habi
leha
Molimoabonabat hobasat sot
ell
engmmeanka
qetoeahobankaj oalokammeoahaul el
it
hōle
tseo!!
!(
Idon' thateyou,Idespiseyouchild,j
ustli
ke
yourmot her.Iam gladGodsawi rrel
evantpeopl
e
anddecidedt otakethem li
keyourmot herandthat
rubbi
sh!!!)
"
Mychestwaspai ningtearswerepri
ckl
ingmyeyes.
Icouldn'tstandhert al
kinganymore.IsawZamani
standingbyt hekitchenentrance.Isni
ffedmaki
ng
suremyt earsdon'tfai
lme.
Me:"keauutloa'
mekemasoabi .kenekebatl
a
f
eelahorelel
apalahaKhumal ol
ebat l
ahont
efell
a
l
obolabekengetl
ang.(
IhearyouandIam sor
ry,I
j
ustwantedtosaythatt
heKhumal ofamil
ywantsto
comeandpayl
obol
aformenextweek)
"
Aunty:"harebatl
eLobolaleo.Bakaunka,r
eufa
bona!(wedon'twantt
hatlobola.Theycant
akeyou
,wear egivi
ngyoutothem !)"
Me:
"Empakemoet
lo!
(Buti
t'
str
adi
ti
on)
"
Aunty:
"haketsot
elleBolell
ahoreharebatl
eletho,
etsaengkapaeng,har ebatl
ehosalalebademona
bahau(Idon'
tcare, t
ellt
hem wedon'twant
anythi
ng,dowhatever,wedon'twanttobelef
twi t
h
yourdemons)"
Me:"holoki
le,
Kel
ebohanakoeahau(Ok,
thank
yourf
oryourti
me)
"
ShehungupandIputmyphonedownandl ai
dmy
headonthet
ableandtearsj
ustcameoutandI
wept.Hi
shandswerearoundmehuggingmeasI
cri
ed.
Zamani:
"shhh"
Me:
"she.
..
.she.
..
they"
Zamani:
"it
'sok"
Me:
"theydon'
twantanyt
hingt
odowi
thme.They
don'
tcar
ewhathappens"
Zamani:
"shhh"
Icr
ied.Atti
mesImissmysister
.Imi ssmymot her
aswellandIam al
lal
one.It
'
sallther
et hatIam
al
onewi t
hnoonetoturnto.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Nt
ambo:
"Khen"
Il
ookathi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"whatdi
dmom say?"
Me:
"shej
ustcameby"
Iconcer
ntr
atebackt
othet
v.
Nt
ambo:
"Khensani"
Me:
"Fezi
le"
Ntambo:"Iwi
llt
rymakeuswor
k.IknowIam at
f
aultatt
hemoment"
Me:
"youar
enotatf
aul
t.Wej
ust.
..
Idon'
tknow."
Nt
ambo:
"comeher
e"
Iwentt
ohi
m andhehuggedme.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam notpr
epar
edt
ogi
veup"
Me:
"Fezi
le"
Isi
gh.
Nt
ambo:
"notanyt
imesoonKhensani,
.Il
oveyou"
Ij
ustnodded.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Me:
"don'
teatt
oomuchcandy,
Loveyoubought
t
oomuchsweetsnowt
heywon'
tsl
eep"
Razor:
"Cal
m down.Theyar
ejustki
ds"
Hehel
dmywai
st.
Razor:
"youar
eangr
y?"
Let
ho:
"mommyangr
y?"
Razor:
"It
hinkso"
Me:"Iam notangr
yandgi
vemet
hosesweet
s.We
wi
lleatt
hem tomorr
owagai
n"
Theyclosethei
rgummybearspacketandgivei
tto
met oputinmybag.Wegotat rol
leyt
ofitt
hem al
l
i
nsidebecauseIam notpr
epar
edtochasekids
aroundthemall
.
Me:
"wher
eshoul
dweeat?"
Anel
e:"spur
"
Zi
khal
i:"Yesyesspur"
Me:
"Ineedt
osi
tdown.Sospuri
tis"
Theygotexci
ted.Il
ookedatr
azorandhewasi
n
thought
s.
Me:
"youok?"
Razor:
"yeahyeahIam "
Me:
"baby"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Razor:
"Iam f
ine"
Me:
"ok"
Icoul
dn'
tshakeof
fthathewast
hinki
ngof
f
somethi
ng.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Howmucht imedowehave?Howl ongwi

llIhi
de
here?Allofthosequest
ionsr
oamedinmyhead
yetnotasi
ngleanswerasyet.
Me:
"Razornc.
..
nc.
..nc"
Icr
ushedhi
sphotoandsatdown.Hemademethi
s
wayandhewil
lpayfori
tdearl
y.Hewon'
tseeme
coming.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
50] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t59

*
DINA*

icouldn'
tlookup,it
'sembar r
assingenoughwhat
outcomesIgot .AtthispointIdon'tknowwhatt odo
becauseIonlyknowmyauntandgr andmother.I
don'tknowanyr el
ativeseitherthanthem.Ifiddl
e
withmydr esswhilelookingdown.Myhear tis
thuddingandZamanihel dmyhand.Hi sfat
her
sighsandIswal l
owt hespi tandkeepmyeyes
down.
MrKhumal
o:"Ar
eyousur
eaboutt
his?"
Zamani:
"Wedidtryspeaki
ngtotheMpeleFamily
buti
twasn'
tsuccessf
ul.Theydon'
twantanyt
hing
atal
l"
Heissilent.Zamanihol
dsmyhandandIst ar
tto
rel
axabi t.Itgi
vesmethatsenseofsecur
it
ythathe
i
sher eandwon' tl
eavet
il
leveryt
hingi
sinorder
atl
east.
MrKhumalo:
"wearever
ytradi
ti
onalyouknowt
hat
Zamani,
weneedtodothi
ngstheri
ghtway"
Zamani:"Andwewi llbaba,Okwamanj
engicel
a
umfaziwami.Ngekesi li
ndeabant
uabazenza
i
ngane(f ornowpleasecanIhavemywi f
e.We
can'
twaitforpeopl
ewhobehavel i
keki
ds)"
MrKhumal
o:"Makot
i"
Me:
"babuKhumal
o(MrKhumal
o)"
MrKhumal
o:"Ar
eyousur
eaboutever
ythi
ng? "
Il
ookedatZamani.
Me:
"Yes"
MrKhumal
o:"Umshadel
ani
?(whyar
eyoumar
ryi
ng
hi
m? )
"
Myhear
tisbeat
ingf
ast
.
Me:
"Ngi
yamt
handa,
fut
hiabant
wanabadi
nga
abazal
ibobabi
l
i(Il
ovehi
m andt
heki
dsneedbot
h
parent
s)"
Ist
eal
agl
anceandhei
ssmi
li
ng.
MrKhumalo:
"It
'sgoodtohearthat.Igiveyoumy
bl
essi
ngandnextmonth,whichwassupposedt o
beyourl
obol
adatewil
lbeyourtradit
ionalweddi
ng
dat
e."
Inodded
Me:
"Yebobaba"
Hest
oodupandweal
sodi
d.
MrKhumalo:"baphiabazukul
u?(Wher
ear
emy
gr
andchi
ldr
en?)"
Zamani:
"upst
air
s"
Hewalkedof
f.Ibr
eat
hedoutandZamanihel
dmy
hands.
Me:
"Iam scar
ed.
"
Zamani:
"don'
tbe.Iam her
e"
Inoddedandheki
ssedmyl
ips.
Me:
"Zamani
!"
Hechuckl
ed.
Zamani:
"hei
supst
air
s"
Me:
"St
il
l"
Zamani:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"met
oo"
Iam exci
tedandscaredatthesamet i
me.Itfeels
sodreamyaswel l
.Especiall
ythechil
dren,
IknowI
won'tbeabletohavethem buthavi
ngthem wit
hno
dramasof ari
sthebestandIam preparedt
ogi ve
offmybestloveandcare.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

ThecarismovingasIam watchi
ngt
hebuil
dings
andpeoplepassi
ngmebybutmymi ndisona
standst
il
l.If
eelstr
essedandmysouli
snotatany
ease.IsighandheholdsmyhandandIlookat
hi
m andfai
ntl
ysmi
ledj
ustf
orhi
m nott
owor
ry
aboutme.
Smi
so:
"youcant
akei
tbutyouknowIam her
e?"
Isi
gh.
Me:
"Iknow"
Smi
so:
"Doyoul
ikei
t?"
Inodded,
l
ooki
ngatmyr
ing.
Smi
so:
"Il
ikei
ttoo"
Ichuckl
e.
Me:
"Mmmh"
Smi
so:
"DoIhavet
osendt
hel
ett
ert
oyourson?"
Me:
"Iwi
llaskhi
m.Idon'
tknowr
eal
ly"
Smi
so:
"Iwi
llsendi
ttohi
m."
Inoddedandheki
ssedmyhand.
Smi
so:
"Thankyou"
Me:
"Don'
tthankme,
Iam supposedt
odot
hat"
Hesmi
lesatme.Iam pr
ayi
ngf
oragl
immerof
hope.
.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Me:
"Kau"
Kau:
"mmmh"
Ipul
ledthefleece.It
'sgoodtobeoutoft
hat
Hospit
albed.If eelabitbi
tt
er.Hecomesback
fr
om thekit
chencar ryi
ngaplatewi
thsandwi
ches
andsitsnexttome.
Kau:
"ar
eyoucomf
ort
abl
e?"
Me:
"Iam babydon'
twor
ry"
Kau:
"youwer
ecal
li
ngme?
"
Me:
"whatdoesyournamemean?"
Heshr
ugged.
Me:
"awu"
Kau:
"Idon'
tknowbaby.Iwasj
ustgi
vent
hatname
"
Me:
"Letmer
esear
chmaybeIcangetsomet
hing"
Kau:"whi
leyouaredoi
ngt
hatl
et'
sfeedNgwana
warona(ourchi
ld)"
Me:"mmmh, suchacarr
yingf
atheryouhave
uhm..
..
whatcanIcal
lyou?"
Kau:
"Nana"
Me:
"No,
toocommon,
youar
eSot
hor
ight?
"
Kau:
"Tswanabutcar
ryon"
Me:
"Thenl
et'
snamel
ikePal
esaorsomet
hing"
Her
ubbedmyst
omach.
Kau:
"Itmustbeakname"
Me:"whyusakanj
e?(Whydoyouwantt
obesmar
t
wi
thme?) "
Hechuckl
ed.
Kau:
"Ker
omangorPeobecauseyouar
emyseed"
Het
ouchesmyst
omach,
Ihi
thi
shand.
Me:
"nott
heseedpar
t,cal
li
ngourbabyaseed"
Kau:
"awuBaby"
Me:
"Ker
omangsoundsni
cebutl
et'
ssaybabyKer
o
"
Kau:
"Ver
ywel
l"
Hef
edme.
Me:
"Mmmmh(cover
ingmymout
h)t
hisi
sni
ce"
Hesmil
ed.Ikeptonr
esear
chi
ng.Heputmyl
egs
onhi
slap.
Me: "wel lGooglesaysyournamei sor
igi
natedfrom
Hawai i
anr oot
sasaboyandgi r
lname, i
t'
sspeltas
Kau'iwhi leyoursdoesn'
thaveanI.It'
sactual
lya
Surnamei nSout hAfr
icaandotherpar
tsofthe
world, i
nHawai i
anKau' ii
s“Thebeaut
y;the
youthfulness”.
Kau:
"somynamei
sasur
name?
"
Me:
"pr
obabl
y,yourpar
ent
sknow"
It
ookt
hesandwi
chandat
e.
Me:
"mmmh?DaddykaKer
o"
Kau:
"CanJer
i'
sfat
herhavef
unwi
thmommy?"
Me:
"nott
oday"
Igi
ggl
edandki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"ngi
yakut
handanehbabakhe(Il
oveyou)
Kau:
"KeaO'
rat
aMor
ati
wa(
Iloveyoumyl
ove)
"
Ishookmyhead.
Me:
"Isai
diti
nZul
u"
Kau:"ngi
yakut
handakeSeset
hu(Il
oveyou
sesethu)
"
Me:"washongeful
lfor
ceebuhl
ungukanj
e(so
muchforcei
nyoursent
ence)"
Hechuckl
ed.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*

Let
ho:
"mommywhatshoul
dIdo?"
Me:"t
aket
hej
acketandgi
vei
ttodaddyt
oouti
t
away"
Shenoddedandtheyallheldthejacketandwent
offi
nsi
de.Iputt
hecarpetout si
deandwenti nsi
de
andRazorcamefrom t
hel ounge.
Razor:
"theyar
ehol
dingonej
ackett
oget
her"
Me:
"theyar
eki
ds"
Hechuckl
ed,
Iper
kedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"shoul
dIbewor
ri
ed?"
Heshakeshi
shead.
Me:
"YouknowIl
oveyour
ight?
"
Henodded.
Me:"ever
ythi
ngwi
llbeok.Iam her
easyourhel
per
f
rom Godandagoodwife"
Razor:
"hebl
essedmewi
thyou"
Ismi
led.
"Mommycanwepl
ayout
side?"
Me:
"i
nsi
det
heyar
dok?"
Theynodandr
ushedout
.
Razor:
"Imi
ssedyou"
Me:
:"butIwasal
waysher
e"
Hehol
dsmywai
st.
Razor:
"butImi
ssyou"
Me:"letmegoandcl
eanwhi
leyouent
ert
aint
he
youngones"
It
aphi
sshoul
der
.
Razor:
"west
il
lhavet
ime"
Me:
"Go"
Razor:
"okj
ustaqui
ckki
ss"
Igi
vehi
m aki
ss.
Me:
"nowgo"
Hewal
ksout
.
.
.
*
KHENSANI
*
Mybodyandmi ndf eeldr
ained.Idon'tfeelgoodat
thismomentandusgoi ngbackandf orthistaki
nga
tollonmeaswel landmybodyi sfeel
ingi t
.Iyawn
aftercl eaningupt heapartmentandget ting.Iam
sogl adtheweekendi sheresoIcanr elaxandt ake
abr eak.Idon' tknowwher eFezil
eisatandIwon' t
ask.Imakesomecof f
eeandIgetdonef astandI
takesomesconeandgoandsi tdown.Hewal ksin
andhecl osesthedoorandIl ookathim.Hewal ks
i
nf urtherandki ssesmycheek.
Nt
ambo:
"youok?"
Me:
"yes,
justt
ir
ed,
youwokeupear
ly"
Ntambo:
"hadsomethingstot
akecar
eof
fandI
wentt
ofetcht
hisatUnathi
'
shome"
Me:
"whati
sit?"
Heshowedmeanenvelopeandgavei
ttomeandI
tooki
tandopenedi
t.Ir
eaditandt
henl
ookedat
him."
Me:
"theywantt
opayl
obol
aforMa"
Nt
ambo:
"shei
snotcheapandwon'
tbef
ree"
Me:
"nott
oomuch"
Nt
ambo:
"shei
sar
arebr
eed.Soshei
sexpensi
ve"
Igi
ggl
e.
Me:
"it
'sgoi
ngt
obeadi
sast
er"
Myheartwast or
nabi t.Iwashappyforhismother
andeveryonebutIcouldn'thel
pbutfeelsayatt
he
sametime.Thatwewoul dn'
tshar
ethis.Icoul
dn't
l
ookathim becauseIwoul dcry.Iwanttosett
le
downtoo.
Me:
"haveyoueat
en?"
Nt
ambo:
"yeahIhave"
Inoddedandsi
ppedonmycof
feeavoi
dinghi
m.
Nt
ambo:
"Khen"
Me:
"mmmh?"
Nt
ambo:
"lookatme"
Ibr
eat
hedoutgat
her
ingcour
agebef
orel
ooki
ngat
hi
m.
Ntambo:"Iwil
lmarryyouoneday.I
fitmakesyou
happy,Ijustwantyouhappy"
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay.Ifeell
ikeheisput
ti
ng
hi
mselfi
nanuncomfor
tabl
eposi t
ionj
ustt
oplease
me.
Me:
"it
'sok,
Ihaveaccept
edi
t"
Li
es,Ididn'
t.Ihaven'
treal
ly,
Ikeptonsi
ppi
ngmy
cof
fee.
Nt
ambo:
"lookatme"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Ntambo:"Il
oveyouok?Nomarr
iagei
ssuesor
anyt
hingwil
lbr
eakusri
ght?"
Ioutmymugdownandst oodup.Icoul
dfeelt
he
tear
snear
ingandmychestpai
ning,
hest
oodupas
well
.
Nt
ambo:
"Khen"
Hehel
dmywai
st.
Nt
ambo:
"wear
egonnabeokr
ight?"
Idon'
twantust
obebr
okenbyanyt
hing.Il
ovehi
m
andIam intoodeep.That'
swhyithur
tssomuch.
Hewipedmyf al
li
ngt ear
sandInodded.Hekissed
myforehead.
Ntambo:"Il
oveyouandIpr
omi
set
ogetbet
terand
gethel
p"
Inodded.HehuggedmeandIhuggedhi
m back
sobbi
ng.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
50] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t60

*
RAZOR*

Anel
e:"Let
hocanIhaveat
urn?"
Letho:
"Iam agi
rlAnel
e,Ishoul
dbeonDaddi
es
back"
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
"Becar
efult
hatyoudon'
tfal
l"
Igetherdownsl
owlyandshest
andsonherf
eet
andIcrouchi
nfr
ontoft
hem.
Zi
khal
i:"Canwehaveoursweetf
rom yest
erday?"
Me:
"GoaskMommyi
nsi
de"
Theyrushof
fandIst andup.Iam searchingfor
Wendybutit
'sli
keshevanishedintothi
nair.I
don'
tknowwhatt odo.Ifeelst
ressedabout
ever
ythi
ngaroundmet hatIcan'
tsolveorsortout
.
"Li
ndani!
"
Iturnaroundandit'
sMamkhul u.Sheget soffthe
carwi t
hthehelpofUnat hi'
sfather.Sot heyare
real
lydoingthisdat
ingt hi
ng?Iwonderhow
Ntambof eel
saboutal lofthi
s, i
t'squietawkwar d
thatmyaunti sdati
ngmyf atherinlaw.I t'
sthe
sameasmymot herandSt epfatherandnowIam
mar r
iedtomyst epsister.Ishaket het houghtas
t
heyr
eachme.
Mamkhul
u:"Hel
lo"
Me:
"Sani
bonani(gr
eet
ings)"
Mamkhulu:
"Howar
eyou?Icamet
ocheckupon
youandUnat
hi,
wher
eisshe?"
Me:
"Insi
de"
MrNgema:
"Mmmh"
Il
ookatherf
inger
sandshehasar
ing.
Me:
"Andt
heRi
ng?"
Mamkhul
u:"Ohwear
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed"
Me:
"Ohwow"
Iam shocked.Shei
ssmi
li
ng,
heki
ssesherhand.
Mamkhul
u:"Yes"
Me:"That
'samazi
ngMamkhul
u.Uhm wewoul
dgo
i
nsi
de."
Theynodandwemakeourwayi
nsi
de.
Unathi:
"Uphiubabawakhowena(wher
eisyour
fat
her?)"
Anel
e:"Usemnyangomommy(hei
soutsi
de
mommy) "
Unat
hi:
"Goandcal
lhi
m"
Me:
"Iwi
llgogether"
TheysitdownandIgotothekit
chen.Theki
dsar
e
l
ookingathermovearoundtheki
tchen.
Me:
"Yourf
atheri
sher
e"
Unat
hi:
"Real
ly?Al
one?"
Me:
"no,
hei
swi
thyourst
epmot
her"
Unat
hi:
"ohok.Ki
dsgogr
eett
heel
der
s"
Theyrushof
f.Shewi
pesherhandandt
urns
aroundtome.
Unat
hi:
""
uri
te?(Ar
eyouok?)
"
Inod.
Unat
hi:
"Ok"
Iki
ssherl
ips.
Me:
"Let
'sgobef
oret
heysaysomet
hing"
Unat
hi:
"weshoul
dgot
ochur
chSunday,
it'
sbeen
sol
ong"
Me:
"sur
e."
Wewal
kedoutoft
heki
tchent
othel
ounge.
Unat
hi:
"Dad,
whatawonder
fulsur
pri
se"
MrNgema:
"youseem t
ohavegai
nedwei
ght"
Unat
hi:
"'
whatcanIsay?Iam happy"
Hesmi
led.
MrNgema:
"Iam happyt
oheart
hat
."
.
.
*
MERCY*

Me:
"Knock!Knock!"
Shelooksupf
rom herbooksandt
akesof
fherear
phone.
Me:
"MayIcomei
n?"
ShenodsandIwal
kinsi
det
hebedr
oom.Isi
tdown
nextt
oherassher
emovesherbooks.
Me:
"Howar
eyou?"
Bahumi:"Iam ok"
Me:
"ar
eyousur
e?"
Shenods.
Me:
"Anyboyyouar
eint
erest
edi
n.?
"
Shei
ssi
lentabi
t.
Bahumi:
"Notyet"
Me:
"Ar
eyousur
eHumi?"
Shenodssl
owl
y.
Me:
"(si
gh)BabyIhavebeennot
ici
ng"
Shel
ooksatme.
Me:
"Pl
easet
ellmet
het
rut
h,i
sther
eanyboy?"
Bahumi:
"Idon'
tknow.Ther
ewasiguess"
Me:
"youbr
okeup?"
Shenodded.
Me:
"Youknowyoudon'
thavet
obescar
edofme.I
am yourol
dersi
ster
.Iwil
lsuppor
tyounomat
ter
howdeepthepiti
s.Iwil
lgetyouout
."
Shewi
peshert
ear
s.
Bahumi:
"Iam sor
ry,
idi
sappoi
ntedyou.Ishoul
d
l
eave"
Me:"Noyoushouldn'
t.Youar
efami
lyandwest
ick
t
hroughever
ythi
ng."
Shewi
peshert
ear
s.Igot
othedoorandcl
osei
t.
Me:
"Li
edownonyourback"
Shedoesj
ustt
hatandIl
if
thert
opupandt
ouchher
st
omachandsigh.
Bahumi:
"Idon'
twanti
t.Idi
dn'
tmeant
o"
Me:
"It
'sok.Doest
hef
atherknow?"
Sheshookherhead.
Me:
"Ok,
youneedt
otel
lhi
m."
Bahumi:
"Iam sor
ry."
Thi
sisabi
gmess.Hugeone.
.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Af amilymeetingwascall
edbackathome.We
wererushingthereandIwonderwhat'si
tabout.I
knowt hatihaventdoneanythi
ngasyet.Wepar ked
up-f
rontandilookedatNtethel
eloandhelookedat
me.
Me:
"Ihopei
t'
snot
hingser
ious"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"maybei
t'
snot"
Inoddedandwegotoutoft hecarandmadeour
wayinside.OvertheyearsIbuil
tmyf athera
beauti
fulhomeforhim andhiswife,her emarr
ied
againl
astyearandIwashappyf orhi
m.Aunt yphil
i
i
saver ynicepersonandshei sGodsent .We
walkedinsi
dethehouseandever yonewasseated
al
ready, Si
yamthandaandAyandawer ehere
al
ready.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Sani
bonani(gr
eet
ings)
"
Khul
uza:
"Unj
animkhwenyana(howar
eyou?
)"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam good"
Me:
"dad"
Wehugged,
Imi
ssedhi
m somucht
hatIdi
dn'
t
r
eal
izei
t.
Jabul
il
e:"canwesi
tdown?
"
Wenoddedandwesatdown.EvenUncl
eThul
ani
washer
e.Thishast
obeaseriousmatt
ert
hen.
Dad:
"wear
eher
eonamat
terofMah"
Khul
uzaf
oldedherar
ms.
Khul
uza:"yaziangikwaziukuphumaemunt
wini
(youcan'
tletapersonlive)
"
Jabul
il
e:"whatyouar
edoi
ngi
swr
ong!
"
Thul
ani:
"MahIt
hinkweal
lagr
eet
hatyoushoul
d
st
opwhatyouar
edoing."
Siya:"canwegetont
hepr
ogr
am becausewear
e
confused"
Me:
"yespl
ease"
Dad:
"Khul
uzai
sdat
ingyourgr
andf
ather"
Me:
"Mkhul
uLut
hul
i?"
Theynodded.
Me:
"hayiKhul
uzahei
smar
ri
ed"
Khul
uza:
"so?Hei
sbr
eaki
nghi
sownmar
ri
agenot
mine"
Phi
li:
"mahwear
ejustconcer
ned"
Me:
"It
'swr
ong.Youar
eol
dtobeaMi
str
ess"
Khuluza:"Umuntuumt hol
aemt winiangi
ninawe
nomkhwenyanani thol
enekanjal
o?(yougeta
personfrom anot
herperson,
isn'
tityoufound
Ntethel
eloli
kethat?)"
Me:
"Khul
uza"
Nt
ethel
elocl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat.
Jabul
il
e:"i
t'
swr
ongandyouar
ebehavi
ngl
ikea
chi
ld"
Khul
uza:
"Iam t
oool
dfort
his"
.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Ireal
lymessedup, ididn'
tthi
nkshewouldnoti
ce
befor
eIcandoanyt hing.Itookoutthepamphl
etI
wasgi ventobyNeliswaatschool.Sheismynew
fr
iendt hatIcant
alktoanytime.Itakemyphone
andcal lherandsheanswer saft
erthesecondr
ing.
Nel
iswa:
"babes"
Me:
"Fr
iend"
Nel
iswa:
"what
'swr
ong?Yousounddown"
Me:
"shef
oundoutt
hatIam pr
egnantagai
n"
Nel
iswa:
"ohmyGod.Uhm whatnow?Youst
il
l
goi
ngthr
oughwi
thi
t?"
Inodded.
Me:
"Ican'
tbur
denhersoIhavet
o"
Nel
iswa:
"ok.Ihavesomecashonmet
omeetyou
hal
fway"
Me:
"thankyou"
Nel
iswa:"Iwil
lsuppor
tyout
hroughanyt
hingHumi
.
Iam sor
ryaboutThapel
oandLee-ann"
Me:
"it
'sok."
Nel
iswa:
"Ihavet
ogo"
Me:
"bye"
IputmyphonedownandIwipemyt
earsandtake
outthemoneyandIonl
yhaveaf
ewhundreds.
Hopeithel
ps
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
51] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t61
*
ANDI
SWA*

Si
ya:
"Songempel aKhul
uzauzimi
selengokuba
umakhwapheniemdalaKangaka?(Soseriousl
y
Khul
uzaisdeter
minedtobeasidechickatthi
sage?
)"
Me:"Minaangi
zazi,
messef
akauNtethel
elonami
(Idon'
tknowwhenshei
ncl
udedNtethel
eloandme
)"
Aunt
yJabul
il
ewal
ksi
ntheki
tchen.
Jabul
il
e:"Nomasenigani
lenenzakancane?(even
whenyouaremarri
edyouar esti
llsl
ow?)"
Me:
"Thef
oodi
sgonnaber
eady"
Jabul
il
e:"Hai
boabant
ubal
ambi
le(peopl
ear
e
hungr
y)"
Si
ya:
"Mahumsi
ndo,Si
yaqedamanj
e(Mom ,
noi
se.
Wear
eget
ti
ngdonenow)"
Sheshakesherheadandcl
apsherhandonce.
Jabul
il
e:"f
ini
shup"
Me:
"SoKhul
uzai
sser
ious?
"
Jabul
il
e:"Seemsso"
Aunt
yphi
liwal
ksi
ntheki
tchen.
Phi
li:
"It
hinki
t'
senoughnow.Theyar
ehangi
ngup
onher"
Jabul
il
e:"I
tnotenough,
sheneedst
oknowwhat
sheisdoi
ngiswrong"
Phi
li:
"Imarr
iedyourf
atherknowi
ngt
heywer
e
marri
edwit
hmycousin"
Me:
"Mom i
sdead.Mygr
andmot
heri
snotdead."
Jabul
il
e:"Udi
ngainkukhuemnyamangobaangazi
yi
niminalent
o(sheneedsablackchi
ckenbecause
Idon'
tknowwhatthisis)
"
Si
ya:
"Canyout
akeoutt
hepl
atesAndi
swa?
"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Imovedtogoandt aket
hepl
ates.Aunt
yJabul
il
e
keepsontal
king.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Ithoughtmaybeshewoul dlearnherlessonbutshe
didn't
.Idon'tknowhowt ogroom at eenager, i
t'
s
hardgr oomingt heseyoungonesandiam st i
ll
l
ear ni
ngpar enti
ngasi tis.Idon'tknowhowt otur
n
toatt hesamet ime.Thi sisabur dentoSandi leas
well.Idon'tknowwhatt odobutIhavet ofigure
somet hingout.Thef etusi salr
eadyi nherandi t'
s
growingt oababy.Abor tionisnevergoingt obean
option.Weneedt ovi
sittheboy'shouse(f ather)
Thenwecant akeadeci sionasbot hfami l
ieson
whatt odo.
"Mer
cy!"
Me:
"mmmh?
"
Iam snappedoutofmyt
hought
s.
Thapel
o:"youhavebeendr
inki
ngt
hatbot
tl
esi
nce
twohoursago"
Me:
"real
ly?"
Il
ookati
tandi
t'
sal
mostempt
y,ihol
dmyhead.
Thapel
o:"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"YeahyeahIam.Adul
tpr
obl
ems"
Thapel
o:"Iam al
most18youknow"
Hesi
tsnextt
omeonahi
ghchai
r.
Me:
"That
'snextyear"
Thapel
o:"i
t'
slesst
han6mont
hs"
Inod.
Me:
"youhavegr
own"
Thapel
o:"Yeah"
Ihol
dhi
shand.
Me:
"Iam gl
adyouar
eget
ti
ngbet
ter
."
Thapel
o:"
Thankyouf
orl
ovi
ngus"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"It
'swhatbi
gsi
ster
'sdo"
Adoorbel
lri
ngsandhest
andsup.
Thapel
o:"Ihavet
ogo"
Me:
"Letmeopent
hedoor"
Thapel
o:"No,youarefi
neont
hatchai
r.Idon'
t
wantyouembarrassi
ngme"
Me:
"Hai
bot
hisi
smyhouse.
"
Igetofft
hechairandwal
kpasthi
m.Igoandopen
thedoorandtherei
sacolour
edgi
rlst
andi
ngi
nfr
ont
ofthedoor.
Her:
"Hi,
Iam Lee-
ann.Iam her
eforThapel
o"
Me:
"Pel
o!"
Hewalkst
owar
dsus.Idon'
twantst
ressover
st
ress.
Thapel
o:"Lee"
Shesmi
les.
Thapel
o:"Uhm t
hisi
smybi
gsi
sterMer
cy"
Her:
"Ni
cet
omeetyou"
Me:
"Don'
tsl
eepwi
thhi
m"
Thapel
o:"Mer
cy!"
Me:
"Don'
t"
Lee-
ann:
"Iwon'
t."
Thapel
o:"weshoul
dgo"
Lee-
ann:
"Ni
cemeet
ingyou"
Me:
"Sameher
e."
Hetakesherhandandt heywalkof
f.Icl
osethe
doorandhearfoot
steps.Itur
naroundandIsee
Bahumirunni
ngupt hestai
rs.
Me:
"Bahumi!"
I
t'
ssi
lent
.Isi
gh.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Sheput
sthegl
assesdowni
nfr
ontofus.
Me:
"Thankyou"
Zi
khal
i:
"Youar
ethei
rgr
anny?"
Hei
ssi
tt
ingonmyl
ap.
Me:
"yesIam ever
yone'
sgr
andmot
her"
Zi
khal
i:"met
oo?"
Me:
"yout
oo"
Hesmi
les.
Me:
"Howar
ethi
ngs?"
Li
ndani:
"Konkekur
ytMamkhul
u(ever
ythi
ngi
sfi
ne
Mamkhulu)"
Smi
so:
"Whatar
ethepol
icesayi
ng?"
Li
ndani:
"theusual
.Theyar
est
il
linvest
igat
ing."
Isi
ghedandl
ookedathi
m andUnat
hit
hent
heki
ds.
Me:
"Kuzol
unga(i
twi
llbef
ine.)
"
Unat
hi:"yeah.Wewi llgetthrought
hisl
ike
anyt
hing,justdon'
tunderstandwhysomeone
woulddosuchahar sht hi
ng"
Me:
"It
'sj
eal
ousy"
Idr
inkt
hej
uice.
Me:
"HasAnel
ebehavedanydi
ff
erent
lyt
hanusual?
"
Unat
hi:
"nott
hatIhavenot
iced"
Li
ndanil
ooksatmet
hencl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
Li
ndani:
"yeah"
Me:
"Hei
sgoi
ngt
obesomet
hingwonder
ful"
Unat
hismi
les.
Unat
hi:
"that
'sgr
eatt
ohear"
Let
ho:
"gogodoyouwantsomesweet?"
Me:
"Nomybaby"
Shenods.
Unat
hi:
"letmecheckonmypot
s."
Shestandsup.IlookatAnelet
henLi
ndaniandI
smil
ethoughiam notatease.
.
.
.
*
SESETHU*
Me:
"Kau!
"
Kau:
"baby?"
Me:
"yourphonehasbeenr
ingi
ng"
Istandther
elookingathi
m andhet ur
nsofft
he
waterandopenst heshowerdoorandgetsout
.I
givehim at
owel andhewrapsatowelaroundhis
waist.
Kau:
"Whoi
sit?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow."
Igi
vehi
m hi
sphoneandhet
akesi
t.
Kau:
"It
'sDad"
Me:
"oh"
Hewalksoutoft
hebat
hroom andIf
oll
owaft
erhi
m
andhemakesacall
.Isi
tonthebedandlookat
hi
m.
Kau:
"Dad"
Thereissi
lence.Ikeeponlooki
ngathi
m standi
ng
ther
e.Hisupperbodyi swetandsoaspartofhi
s
hair
ylegsaswel l
.Itl
ookssexy.Ibi
tmybot t
om l
ip,
Iwishthi
sbabyi
sour
s.Iknowi
t'soursandIwish
fori
ttobeaboysohecanl
ookl
ikehisfat
her.
Kau:
"Uhm (swal
low)ok.
..
Iam comi
ng"
Hehangsup.
Me:
"ar
eyouok?"
Iam snappedoutofmyfant
asyofhi
m byhi
sfaci
al
expr
essionandit
'snotni
ce.
Kau:
"Mom j
ustpassedaway"
Iwentt
ohi
m.
Me:
"How?Wehaveneverhear
dthatshewassi
ck.
"
Kau:
"shejustf
aint
edwhilecl
eaningthi
smor
ning
andi
t'
sconfi
rmedthatsheisdeceased"
Ididn'
tknowwhatt
osay.Iwr
appedmyar
ms
aroundhimtocomf
orthi
m.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Hehel
donmet
ight
lysi
ghi
ng.
Me:
"pl
easebeemot
ional"
Hewassil
ent.Thi
smademet hinkofmymot her,
MaybeIshoul
dstopmyresent
mentforherandf i
x
t
hings.Fi
xher,i
fshei
sali
ve.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
52] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t62

*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Wewer ebiddi
ngourgoodbyest othem.Itwas
real
lywonderf
ulseei
ngthem toget
herli
kethi
sand
gavemet heeaseIneededyetitbr
oughtsome
sadnessaswell.Il
ookedatAneleoncemor eandI
smil
ed.
Unat
hi:
"Wewi
llvi
sitaswel
l"
Me:
"Pl
easedo"
Li
ndani:
"Mamkhul
u"
Me:
"Li
ndani
"
Hewant
edtosaysomet
hingbutt
henhej
ustset
tl
ed
f
oranod.
Let
ho:
"wear
egonnavi
sityougogo"
Zi
khal
i:"Yesgogo"
Me:
"Gogoi
slonel
yyoushoul
dvi
sit
"
Smi
so:
"Am Ipar
toft
hel
onel
iness?"
Wel
aughedandInodded.
Unat
hi:
"Bye"
Smisohelpedmei nsi
dethecarandIwavedatt
hem.
Isawaf i
gurenexttoThem anditwasof
fmysist
er.
ShelookedatmeandIsi ghed.
Me:
"Ohmygod"
Smi
so:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"YesIam "
Henodded.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Knock!Knock!
"Bahumi!"
Icouldn'
tstopmyselffrom cryi
ng.Idi
dn'tseethi
s
coming, Idi
dn'
tatallandnowever yt
hingisamess,
Ifel
lforhiswords.Ilovehim andheknewt hatand
brokemyhear t
.Maybei t
'sbecauseIam younger
thanhim.
"Bahumiopent
hedoori
t'
sMer
cy"
Me:
"Iam f
ine!"
Ishoutbackandr ol
ledoffthebed.Itookt he
pamphletandshovedi ti
nmybagwi ththemoney.
Fir
stthi
ngt omorr
owIam goi ngthere.Itexted
Neliswathatcansheaccompanymeandshe
agreed.Ineedsomemor alsupport
.Ithenwenton
mykneesandst
art
edpr
ayi
ng.
Me:"Godpleasef
orgi
vemef
orwhatIam aboutt
o
do.Ihavenochoi
ce."
Isni
ff
edandl
aidmyheadont
hebedandsobbed.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Il
ookedoutoft hewindowthenbackathim andhe
i
ssilent
lysitti
ngnexttome.Ihavet ri
edallthi
ngsI
knowaboutcomf ort
ingapersonbutnothi
ng.Since
weleftt
hehousehehasbeensi lent
.Itakehis
handintomi neandIgi vei
tasli
ghtsqueezeto
assurehim Iam here.
Me:
"Let
'sgoi
nsi
de"
Hesighsbef orenoddingandwegetoutoft hecar.
Wewal kedinsideandwecoul dhearpeoplesi
nging
alr
eady, Il
ookedathi m andhecl
enchedhisjaws.I
knowhei spr event
ingfeeli
ngemoti
onalatthi
s
moment .Ihol dhishandaswewal kinsi
de.
Kau:
"Ineedt
ofi
nddad"
Me:
"doyouwantmet
ocomewi
th?"
Henodsandwewal kt
hrought ot
hebedr ooms.We
seehisf
athersi
tt
ingontopofthebedwhi lest
aring
atsomethi
ng,weenter
edt heroom andtherewas
foodi
nat r
aywithteanexttohisbedside.Ilooked
atKau.
Kau:
"Baba"
Hisf
athert
urnshisheadsl
owlyt
ous.Isl
ight
ly
smil
enotknowingwhattodo.
Hi
sfat
her:
"Mmmh"
Kauwalksi
nfurt
herandIam behi
ndhi
m,hesi
ts
nextt
ohisf
ather
.Hel ooksatme.
Kau:
"Thi
sisSeset
hu"
Me:
"Hi"
Iam surei
thasn'
tregi
ster
edi
nhi
mththi
swi
fei
s
nomor e.
Hi
sfat
her:
"Iam happyt
omeetyou"
Me:
"met
oo,
letmel
eave"
It
urnedar
oundwal
kedout.Thewhol
eenvi
ronment
i
ssomber.
.
.
*
THAPELO*

Il
ookedatherandshet
urnedt
omeandputher
dr
inkdown.
Lee-
ann:
"what?"
Me:
"(smi
li
ng)Not
hing"
Lee-
ann:
"sowhati
sthi
s?"
It
akeaf
ryf
rom myf
ood.
Me:
"Il
ikeyou"
Lee-
ann:
"wer
en'
tyoudat
ingBahumi?"
Me:
"(cl
eart
hroat)yeahIwas"
Lee-
ann:
"mmmh"
Shet
ookasi
pof
fhercoke"
Me:
"Il
ikeyou"
Ial
sot
ookmydr
inkanddr
ank.
Lee-
ann:
"I.
..
(Smi
li
ng)Il
ikeyout
oo"
Ismi
led.
Lee-
ann:
"Thapel
o"
Shehel
dmyhandovert
het
abl
eandIdi
dthesame.
.
.
*
KAU*

wewer
ebot
hsi
tt
ingi
nsi
lence.Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.
Dad:
"Shebakedsomemuf
fi
nst
hismor
ning"
Me:
"Shel
ovesbaki
ng"
Hel
ookedatme.
Dad:"Shewascomingtovi
sityou,
that
'swhyshe
bakedmuff
inssoearl
y"
Tear
sst
reameddownmyeyesandIwi
pedt
hem.
Het
ouchedmyshoul
der
Dad:
"It
'sok"
Il
aidbackont
hebedandputhandsovermyf
ace
andwipedmytear
s.
Dad:
"It
'sokkau"
Ishookmyhead.I t
'snotok.If
ail
edand
disappoi
ntedher.
..
.
Dad:
"Mokoena"
Ikeptqui
et.Thel
umponmyt
hroatwaski
ll
ingme.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Si
ya:
"Iam sor
rybabes"
Me:"Idon'
tknowwhatt
odoSi
yamt
handa.Idon'
t
knowhismother"
Siya:"lethi
m bebutmakesur
eheknowsyouar
e
ther
ef orhim nomatt
erwhat"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Si
ya:
"howi
sthebaby?"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
ost
ress"
Si
ya:
"Don'
tst
ress"
Me:
"Iwi
llcal
lyou"
Si
ya:
"ok.Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
ShehungupandandIsi ghed.Iwentthr
oughmy
cont
acts.Iwonderi
fhernumbersti
llworks.Ir
ing
i
tanditri
ngsafewtimesandit'
sanswered.
"
Hel
lo"
Ihungupandbr
eat
hedout
.
.
.
*
NTAMBO*

Ist
andbythedoorandleanagai
nsti
tasIwat
ch
hersl
eep.Isi
ghandti
ltmyheadtothesi
deand
shesquir
msbeforet
urni
ngtofaceme.Iwalk
cl
osertoherandsheopenshereyesandl
ooksat
me.
Me:
"Hey"
Shesi
tsupandr
ubshereyes.
Khensani:
"Somet
hingwr
ong?"
Me:
"no"
Khensani:
"ok"
Shel
aidbackont
hebed.
Khensani:
"Fezi
le"
Me:
"St
handwaSam "
Khensani:
"Iwast
hinki
ng"
Me:
"'
about"
Khensani:
"ifyou.
..
(swal
lowed)I
fyoudon'tl
ike
marri
agesthenit'
sfi
ne.Iwil
lcompromise"
Me:
"real
ly?"
Shenodded.
Khensani:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyouKhen,
thatdoesn'
tchangeanyt
hing"
Shenodded.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
52] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t63(
ret
ype)

*
BAHUMI*

Iwokeupandwentt otakeaqui ckshowerbeforeI

star
tedpacki
ngsomeofmycl othesinmyback
pack.Iam nervousbutthishast obedone.Itook
thebooksoffmybedasit r
iedtopackthem away
buttheyf
ell
.Ipi ckedt
hem upandshovedt hem in
mybagbef oreshovingtem inthewardrobe.Ithen
breathedoutandwentoutofthedoorandwentto
getLesedi,itwasallcl
ear
.Shewasaasl eep.It
ook
somenappi esforherandIwalkedoutandImet
bhutisandi
le.
Sandi
le:
"goodmor
ning"
Me:
"goodmor
ning"
Sandi
le:
"howi
sschool?"
Me:"schooli
sgoingwel
l,butImi
ssspendi
nga
daywit
hlesedi"
Henodded.
Me:
"canIsl
eepwi
thhert
oni
ght?
Sandi
le:
"sur
e"
Me:
"thankyou"
Iwalkedpasthim andbreathedout.Igotint he
bedroom Andclosedthedoor .Iputthenappi esi
n
mybackpackandt henItooksleepingpil
lsand
crushedthenandwentt ofetchsomesmal lwateri
n
thebathr
oom andt ookl
esediinmyar ms.Iwoke
herupabi tandshequivered.
Me:
"shhh"
Imadeherli
ckt
hepowderanddranksomewater
.I
wipedhermout
handcr
adledherinmyarms.
Me:
"shh"
Myhear
twast
huddi
ng.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Me:
"ar
eyougoi
ng?"
Razor:
"iam goi
ngt
ocomei
nlat
er"
Me:
"weneedt
ogot
ochur
chLi
ndani"
Razor:
"andIwi
llcome.
Itur
nedandlookedathi
m.Igotof
fthebedandI
tookthet
owel.
Me:"don'
tbel
ate.Iam bat
hing,
doyouwantt
o
j
oinme?"
Hesatupf
rom t
hebedandt
ookof
fhi
sboxer
s.
Me:
"wear
enotal
one.Ther
ear
eki
ds"
Razor:
"comel
et'
sgo"
Hepi
ckedmeupandIgi
ggl
ed.
Razor:
"Il
oveyouMr
sNgomane"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
ooMshi
ka"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Razor:
"Iwantawetbat
h"
Me:
"OkMr"
.
.
*
MERCY*

Me:
"goandcal
lyourf
ather"
Sandi
le:
"Iam her
e"
Hecomesi
ntheki
tchen.
Sandi
le:
"ki
ds"
Yol
anda:
"daddy"
"mor
ningever
yone"
Us:
"mor
ning."
Sandi
le:
"Ihear
dyouwentonadat
eyest
erday"
Thapel
o:"wear
ejusthangi
ngout"
Me:
"Ihopei
t'
shangi
ngout"
Thapel
o:"Mer
cy"
Me:
"justsayi
ng"
Hesatdownont
hehi
ghchai
randt
ookt
hecer
eal
box.
Phi
la:
"mmh?"
Hehandedt
hemil
ktoThapelo.Bahumicamedown
t
hestai
rswi
thabackback.
Me:
"mor
ning"
Bahumi:
"goodmor
ning"
Me:
"goi
ngsomewher
e?"
Bahumi:
"yes.Iwantedt
oaskifIcangoandst
udy
wit
hmyf r
iendNel
iswa.Her
eishermother
's
numberandhomeaddress"
Me:
"isi
tsaf
e?"
Bahumi:
"youcancal
lhermot
her"
Me:
"Iwi
lldoso."
Bahumi:
"ok"
Sandi
le:
"needanymoney?"
Bahumi:
"NoIam f
inet
hanks"
Me:
"bebackat15:
00"
Bahumi:
"yesmam"
Inodded
Sandi
le:
"ar
en'
tyoueat
ing?"
Bahumi:
"noIam f
ine,
Ihavet
ogo"
Us:
"ok"
Shesmi
ledmovingbackwar
dsbefor
eshet
urned
andwal
kedoutholdi
ngherbag.
Me:
"shei
sdedi
cat
edt
oherschoolwor
k"
Sandi
le:
"that
'sgood"
Me:
"shei
sreser
vedandkeepst
hingst
oher
sel
f."
Sandi
le:
"mmmh"
Me:
"Thapel
oissheal
waysl
iket
hat?"
Hewassi
lent
.
Me:
"Thapel
o!"
Thapel
o:"Mer
cy?"
Me:
"Iam t
alki
ngt
oyou"
Thapel
o:"yeah"
Hepl
ayedwi
thhi
sfood.
Thapel
o:"Iam goi
ngupst
air
s"
Hegotof
fthehi
ghchai
r.
Me:
"what
swr
ong?"
Il
ookedatThapel
o
.
.
*
DINA*

Zamani:
"Ican'
tchangeanappy"
Me:
"babydon'
thol
dhi
mli
ket
hat"
Zamani:
"It
ri
ed"
Iwipedmyhandsandwentcl
oset
ohi
m andt
ook
thebabyf
rom hi
sarms.
Me:"lookatdaddyhol
dingyoul
ikeasackof
pot
atoes"
Zamani:
"theyeatal
ot.Youf
eedt
hem "
Me:
"wewantt
hem t
ogr
owr
ight"
Hest
andsbehi
ndme.
Zamani:
"Thi
sisaper
fecti
mage"
Me:
"whi
chi
s?"
Zamani:
"Thi
sone"
Heki
ssedmycheekandIbl
ushed.
Me:
"Iam al
mostdonecooki
ng"
Igavehi
mthebaby"
Zamani:
"mommy"
Me:
"fat
herandsont
ime"
Zamani:
"yourmot
heri
snotcool"
Igi
ggledandwentont owashmyhandsbef
ore
cooki
ng.Ifeelcont
entwit
hever
ythi
ng.

*
BAHUMI*

Icradledherinmyar msandl ookedather .Ikept

onchecki ngifshewasst i
llbreat
hingandyesshe
wasst il
lbreathi
ng.Iki ssedhersmal lknuckl esand
theladynextt omeshookherhead.Iswal l
owed
andl ookedoutt hewi ndow.Assoonast het axi
stoppedi ntown, Ihoppedoutoft het axi.
myback
packhaddef l
ated.Iwal kedthrought hecr owd
holdingLesedicl oset omybody.Iwasscar edand
Iam notr eall
yfrom her e.Igott owher eNel i
swa
saidwewi l
lmeetandIl ookedar oundst andi ng
there.ADar kgr eyAudipar kedinfrontofme.I t
wasdi mmedbutt hedr iveroranyonedi dn'tcome
outofi t
.Iwasscar edandIt hinkabi tpar anoid.
"Babes"
Itur
nedandiwassogl
adt
oseeher
.Shecame
towardsme
Nel
iswa:
"ohmyGodcanIhol
dher?"
Inodded.
Nel
iswa:
"shel
ookscut
e"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Icoul
dn'
tkeepmyeyesof
ftheAudi
.
Nel
iswa:
"Ar
eyousur
eaboutt
his?"
Me:
"yes.
..
yesIam "
Shenodded.
Nel
iswa:
"okt
hen"
Me:
"wecango"
Shenoddedandwest art
edwal ki
ngdownt hest
reet
andenteredanally,Iswall
owedasner vousasIam
ti
llwereachedadoorandIknockedoni tand
NeliswaheldLesedicl
osetoher .Thedooropened
andaFor ei
gnlookingguylookedatmeand
Neliswa.
Me:"Hi,uhm Iam l
ooki
ngforapl
acewher
eIcan
getanabort
ionanditl
edushere"
Guy:
"yest
hisi
sthepl
ace"
Me:
"oh,
howmuch?"
Hel
ookedatme.
Guy:
"It
'sR3000"
Idon'
thavet
hatmuchi
fmoney.
Me:
"oh"
Nel
iswa:
"weshoul
dgoHumi"
Isi
ghed.
Guy:"butf
oryouIcanmakeanaccept
ionof
R1500"
Me:
"Ohr
eal
ly?"
Henoddedsmi
rki
ng.
Nel
iswa:
"Idon'
tfeel
okwi
tht
his"
Me:
"I.
..
Iwi
llt
aket
heof
fer"
Guy:
"Comei
n"
Het
urnedandil
ookedatNel
iswaandsheshr
ugged.
Wefol
lowed.
"St
op!"
West
oppedandt
urned.
Nel
iswa:
"Bahumi"
Theguywal
kedcl
oser
.
Hi
m:"Hana-
esom(t
heyar
ecomi
ngwi
thme)
"
Guy:"anam azuahi
aebea(Iam r
unni
nga
busi
nessher
e)"
Him:"Achọghịm ị
ma,
ọna-
abị
am nat
hat
sfi
nal!
(I
don'
tcare,
sheiscomi
ngwi
thmeandt
hat
'sf
inal!
)"
Nel
iswa:
"(t
ear
y)saf
aNkosi(wear
edead)
"
It
ookl
esedif
rom herar
ms.
Hi
m:"come"
Ishookmyhead.
Hi
m:"Iwon'
thar
m you"
Hi
saccentscar
esme,
bot
hoft
hem.
Me:
"let
'sgoNel
i"
Shenoddedandhehel
dmyar
m.
Hi
m:"i
fur
umar
amma(beaut
if
ulf
lower)
"
Iswal
lowed.

*
MERCY*

Icoul
dheargi
ggl
ingandt
hem r
unni
ngupanddown.
Me:
"sl
owdown!"
Theychasedaftereachot
her.Thapelocl
osed
hi
mselfinhisroom.Sandil
ewentt obuysome
meatthatIwil
lcooktoni
ght.Ilookedatmywatch
andIwasabi tworri
edaboutBahumi .
Me:
"Phi
lasande!Yol
anda!"
Theygi
ggl
ed.
Phi
la:
"Mommyshewant
smypaper"
Me:
"Gi
vemet
hatpaper"
Itwasanai
rpl
ane.Iwasabouttothr
owitawaybut
somethi
ngcapt
uredmyeyes.Iopenedi
tanditwas
anabor
ti
onpamphl
et.
Me:
"OhmygodBahumi"
Ir
ushedupt
hest
air
stoThapel
o'sr
oom.
Me:
"Thapel
o!"
Ibangedonthedoorandwentt
omybedr oom.I
tookmybagandphoneandcall
edsandi
le.Irushed
downthestai
rs.
Me:
"ever
yonei
nthecarnow!"
Thapel
o:"what
'sup?
"
Me:
"got
othecar"
Sandi
le:
"babe"
Me:
"pl
easel
et'
smeeti
ntown.I
t'
sBahumi"
Sandi
le:
"ok"
Ihungup.Myhear
twasbeat
ingf
ast
.Ihopeshe
doesn'
tdoi
t.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
53] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t64

*
UNATHI*

Pastor:"Romans8: 38-39.ForIam convincedthat

neit
herdeathnorlif
e, neit
herangelsnordemons,
neit
herthepresentnort hefutur
e,noranypower s,
neit
herheightnordept h,noranyt
hingelseinal
l
creat
ion,wil
lbeabletosepar ateusfrom thel
oveof
Godt hati
sinChristJesusourLor d."
Congr
egat
ion:
"Amen"
Anel
e:"mommy"
Hepatmyt
high
Me:
"mmmh?"
Anel
e:"Let
hodoesn'
twantust
opl
ay"
Me:
"Let
hokuhl
e"
Isnatchmyphonefr
om herhandsandgi
vei
tto
Anele.Shesul
ks"
Me:
"Iwi
llgi
veyouahi
ding"
Shest
il
lpout
s.
Pastor:
"Neit
heroft
hoset
hingswil
lst
opt
hel
ove
thatexi
stsi
nGodandchri
stforus"
Me:
"Amen"
"sor
ryIam l
ate"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Di
dyoucook?"
Razor:
"that
'swhyIam l
ate"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"youar
eanangel"
Razor:
"WhyI
sshel
iket
his?"
Me:
"Shei
sabul
ly"
Razor:
"comet
odaddy"
Shewenttosi
tonhislapandlai
dherheadonhi
s
chestt
hensuckedherthumb.Ishookmyhead.
Tur
nedbacktot
hepast
orandl
ist
enedt
owhathe
wassayi
ng.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Everyonewassilenti
nthecar.Iwast
ryi
ngtodrive
asfastaspossiblewit
houtcausi
nganacci
dentor
gett
ingati
cket.Myphoner angandiansweredi
t.
Sandi
le:
"Iam her
e"
Me:
"Justaf
ew"
Sandi
le:
"Ok"
Isi
ghed.
Sandi
le:
"cal
m downandconcer
ntr
ate"
Me:
"Ok"
Hehungup.
Thapel
o:"what
'sgoi
ngon?"
Me:
"DoyouknowwhoBahumiwasdat
ing?
"
Hekeptqui
et.
Thapel
o:"(cl
eart
hroat)Shei
ssecr
eti
ve"
Me:
"Ohmygodt
hisi
samess"
Thapel
o:"whydoyouask?"
Iseepar
kingspaceandipar
k.It
akeof
fmyseat
belt
.
Me:
"St
ayi
nher
eandl
ockt
hedoor"
Theynoddedandigotoutl
ocki
ngandt
henIr
ushed
i
ntheall
y.IsawSandil
e.
Sandi
le:
"What
'sup?"
Me:"Bahumiispregnantagai
nandsherant
odo
anabort
ion,
lesediisnowhereaswel
l."
Sandi
le:
"What?
!"
Herusheddownwhi leIgavehimthepaper
.Iwas
aft
erhim andwegott ot
heplaceandheknocked
onthedoor.ItopenedandaNi ger
ianmanopened
thedoor.
Hi
m:"HowmayIhel
pyou?"
Sandi
le:
"Di
dn'
tyouseeal
it
tl
egi
rlher
ewi
thababy?
"
Hi
m:"Sher
anof
f"
Me:
"Wher
e?"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknow"
Hecl
osedt
hedoor
.If
eltdef
eat
ed.
Me:
"sandi
le"
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llf
indherdon'
twor
ry"
Inoddedandhewipedmyt
ear
s.Shei
sonl
y15
al
onewithaninf
ant.
Sandi
le:
"Don'
twor
ry"
.
.
*
THAPELO*

Ilookoutthewindowandturnthevol
umedownon
theradio.It
ookoutmyphoneandwenton
What sappandcheckedst
atusesandLee-
annhad
post
ed.I
twasasongbyJust
inBi
eber
.
"
Canwe,
wekeep,
keepeachot
hercompany
Maybewe,
canbe,
beeachot
her
'scompany
Ohcompany
Let
'sseteachot
her
'sl
onel
yni
ght
s
Beeachot
her
'spar
adi
se
Needapi
ctur
eformyf
rame
Someonet
oshar
emyr
ing.
..
..
"
Shet
aggedmei
nit
.Ir
epl
ied.
Me:
"Iwi
llkeepyoucompany"
Shet
yped.
Lee-
ann:
"Il
oveyou"
Ismi
rked,
act
ual
lyIwasbl
ushi
ng.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Isent
.
Yol
anda:
"canwel
ist
ent
other
adi
o?"
It
urnedupt
hevol
umeandwentt
omygal
ler
yand
gotapi
ctur
eofherIt
ookf
rom yest
erdayand
post
edit
.
"
Someone'
sfut
urewi
fe"
Ismi
ledbi
tt
ingmybot
tom l
ip.Ir
eal
lyl
ikeherso
much.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Iwasner vousandscar ed.LesediwascryingInmy

armsandiwasr el
ievedshehaswokenup.Iwas
si
tti
ngont hegr eycouchi nthisclassyl
ookingroom.
Hewal ksinbackf rom hiscallandlooksatme.
Thechainsar oundhi sneckandt hewayhei s
dressed.Idon'tknowi fit
'sastyletoaddchains
whenyouar ewearingf ormalwear .Heseemsol der
,wayol derthanmeandt hatscaresmetoo.
Me:
"pl
..
.pl
easedon'
thur
tus"
Hecomesfort
handcr
ouchedi
nfr
ontofmeandI
hol
dLesedi
.
Hi
m:"Iwon'
t"
Me:
"whatdoyouwant?"
Hi
m:"I
sshehungr
y?"
Inoddedsl
owl
ynotsur
e.
Hi
m:"Iwi
llgetherf
ood.
"
Me:
'Iwantt
ogohome"
Him:"wewil
lbegoi
nghomei
fur
um nma(
my
beaut
if
ulf
lower)
"
Iswal
lowed.
Me:
"homewher
e?"
Hi
m:"wewi
llgot
otheEur
opeanpar
ts"
Me:
"whatar
eyou?"
Hi
m:"Ni
ger
ian"
Me:
"pl
easecanIgohome?
"
Hi
m:"Don'
twor
ey.Youwi
llbef
ine."
OhmyGod,
whatdi
dIgetmysel
fint
o.?
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*

Smi
so:
"Doyouwantaweddi
ng?"
Me:
"No,
wecanj
ustgot
ohomeaf
fai
rs"
Idr
anksomet
ea.
Smi
so:
"ift
hatmakesyouhappy"
Me:
"Iwoul
dbe"
Ihel
dhi
shand.
Me:
"ever
ythi
ngi
sokr
ight?"
Smi
so:
"yeah"
Inodded.
Me:
"thankyouf
orl
ovi
ngme"
Heki
ssedmycheek."
Smi
so:
"Il
oveyounomat
terwhat"
Me:
"thankyou"
Isawmysi
sterbyt
hewal
landshet
urnedand
wal
kedof
f.
Me:
"If
eelsl
eepy"
Smi
so:
"weshoul
dgetyouchecked"
It
ouchedmyst
omach.
Me:
"ok"
Ismi
led
.
.
*
MERCY*

Ifeell
ikeafail
ure.Wecan'topenamissi
ngpersons
case,wej usthavetowait
.Iwasi nt
hekitchen
drowningmysel fi
nwinewhensandil
ewalkedin
withagirlwholookedter
ri
fied.
Sandi
le:
"If
oundNel
iswa"
Me:
"Hi,
"
Her:
"hi
..
hi"
Me:
"wher
eisBahumi?Haveyouseenher?"
Shel
ooksdownandf
iddl
edwi
thherf
inger
s.
Neli
swa:
"Iwaswithherwhenwewer
etakenby
thi
sman.HetookmehomebutIdon'
tknowabout
Bahumi"
Me:
"ohmyGod"
Sandi
le:
"canyoudescr
ibehi
m ?"
Nel
iswa:"hel
ookedathi
slat
e30'
shewasi
nasui
t
anddroveanAudi"
Me:
"thenumberpl
ate?"
Nel
iswa:
"itdi
dn'
thaveone."
Me:
"ohgod.Shemi
ghtbeshi
ppedof
f"
Sandi
le:
"Iam goi
ngout
."
Nel
iswa:
"iam sor
ry"
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Ihushedl
esedit
il
lshewasasl
eep.Hecameback
i
nagai
nandl
ookedatme.
Hi
m:"wewi
llbel
eavi
ngt
oni
ght
."
Mystomacht
urned.Hi
sphoner
angandhe
answer
ed.
Hi
m:"Hel
lo"
Hewalkedoutoftheroom.Al lIheardisthatI
foundoneandIknewt hatIam beingsoldfor
somethi
ng.IfIdi
dn'tr
unawayIwoul dn'tbeint
his
mess.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued.
[
09/
17,
16:
53] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t65

Me:
"Isshef
inal
lyasl
eep?"
Razor:
"Yes."
Whatawonderfulser
vice.Can'
tgetoveri
t,i
twas
def
ini
tel
yneededtoday.
Me:
"Boysar
eyougoi
ngwi
thDaddy?"
Theynod.
Me:"Theydon'
tpayat
tent
ionwhent
heyar
epl
ayi
ng
games"
Razor:
"Inot
icedt
hrought
hewhol
eser
vice"
Isqui
ntedmyeyes.
"Pr
aiset
heLor
d"
Wet
urnandi
t'
sthepast
or.
Me:
"Baba"
Past
or:"Iam sohappyt
oseeyout
oday.Li
ndani
howareyou?"
Razor:
"Iam f
ineNceku"
Past
or:
"Wonder
ful
,Howi
smar
ri
age?"
Me:
"It
'sgoi
ngwel
lri
ght?"
Razor:
"Def
ini
tel
y"
Pastor:
"that'
swonder f
ul.Okubhalwe
nguNkulunkul
uakekhoozokuci sha(What
'swr
it
ten
bythelordshallnotbeerased.)"
Me:
"Amen."
Past
or:
"Youshouldkeepaneyeonyouryoungone.
Godhaspl
ansforhim."
Il
ookedatAnel
e.
Me:
"Wewi
ll"
Past
or:
"RememberGodi
sal
wayswi
thyou"
Me:
"Hal
lel
ujah"
Hesmi
ledandwal
kedaway.
Razor:
"Iwonderwher
eyoul
ear
ntt
hat"
Me:
"Mxm.Boysgowi
thyourf
ather"
Theywal
kof
f.
Razor:
"Iwi
llseeyouathome"
Me:
"Okbaby"
Iki
ssedLet
hogoisinhi
sarmsandtheywalkedof
f.
Ist
oodther
elooki
ngatt
hem t
hensmiled.
.
.
*
DINA*

Me:
"Wher
eist
hebaby?"
Iwal
kedi
nthel
ounge.
Zamani:
"Asl
eep"
Me:
"Oh"
Zamani:
"Weneedt
omakeal
ist"
Me:
"Of
f?"
Zamani:
"thegi
ft
sthatyouwi
llgi
veof
ftomyf
ami
ly
"
Me:"Youwr
it
ethatl
ist
.It
hinkt
her
ear
emanyof
you"
Zamani:
"Yest
her
ear
e"
Me:
"Ok"
Iputmyf
eetonhi
slapandhemassagedt
hem.
Me:
"Mmht
hatf
eel
sni
ce."
Zamani:
"YouknowIl
oveyou?
"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Iknow"
Hehol
dsmychi
nandki
ssesmyl
ips
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Hesmiledandmassagedmyfeet
.Icl
osedmyeyes
andlai
dbackonthecouchandheki
ssedmylegs
sof
tl
ywhi l
eIcl
osedmyeyes.
Me:
"wakemeupi
ftheki
dswakeup"
Zamani:
"ok"
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Me:"Ican'tbel
ievewehavet
ogoupanddownon
t
hismatter"
Si
ya:
"Iknowandweshoul
dn'
tbei
nvol
ved."
Ir
eachedmycar
.
Me:"Iwil
lcal
lyou,wasdoingsomegrocer
y
shoppi
ng,Iwi
llcal
lyouwhenIam home'"
Si
yanda:
"Sur
e"
ShehungupandIputt hephonei nmybagandI
l
oadedt hegr oceryinmycar, Itookoutt heplasti
c
bottl
esf rom thebackandaf t
erIwasdoneIcl osed
thebootandwentt owar dsthebi ntot hrowt he
bottl
eswhenIhear dababycr y.If rozeont hespot
andl ookedever ywher efir
stinthisunder grown
parkinglotbef oreIputt hebottl
esdownandI
l
ookedi nsi deandt herewasabl ackpl asticbag.I
tookitoutoft herubbishbinandi twasal i
ghtbut
therewasmovement .Iimmedi atelyputi tdownand
Iopenedi tandt her
ewasababyboycr yinghi s
l
ungsout .Myhear tpiercedashewasr edf rom al
l
thecr yi
ng.Hechokedabi tandt ear srandownmy
cheeks.
Me:
"ohmyGod"
Hewaswrappedi
nablanketonl
y.Iwr
appedhim
upandr
ushedtot
hecarandIcall
edsi
yawhil
e
t
ryi
ngt
ohushhi
m.
Si
ya:
"youar
ehome?"
Me:
"No,
Uhm Ineedt
ogetababyt
othehospi
tal"
Si
ya:
"youhadanunknownbabyagai
n?"
Me:
"NoSi
yamt
handa"
Tear
swer
echoki
ngme.
Si
ya:
"comet
hrough.Myshi
fti
scl
osebyanyway"
Me:
"Ok"
Ihungupandcr adl
edthebaby.Whowoul ddo
suchat hi
ng, i
thurtsbecauseweyear
nt ohavea
babyyetpeoplewr apthem upi
nplast
icsandleave
them t
osuf f
er.Iputhim onmychest.
Me:
"Shhh,
Iam her
enow."
Hewaschoki
ngwhi
lecr
ying.
.
.
*
SESETHU*
Me:
"Babe"
Hewasl
ooki
ngupatt
hecei
l
ing.
Me:"Let
'sgoandseeyourf
ather
.Iwi
llbegoi
ng
backt
owor ksoon"
Hei
ssi
lent
.Isi
gh.
Me:
"Kau"
Kau:
"mmmh?"
Me:
"Iam her
e"
Kau:
"unt
ilwhen?"
Thatcaughtmeof
fguar
d.
Me:
"Unt
ilf
orever
.Iam notl
eavi
ngyou"
Helookedatmeandpull
edmecl
oset
ohi
m.
MaybeIshouldt
ellhi
m.
Me:
"Kau"
Kau:
"Mmmh"
Me:"t
hereisasl
ightchancet
hatt
hebabymi
ghtbe
myexfiance'
s"
Hel
ookedatme.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Hesi
ghedcl
osi
nghi
seyes.
Me:
"kau"
Kau:
",Skat"
Ismi
led.
Kau:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oobaby"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Iam notgoi
nganywher
e"
Kau:
"meei
ther
."
Ismil
ed.Igoti
nbedandlai
dnextt
ohi
m and
wrappedmyarmsaroundhi
m.
.
.
*WENDY*

Ii
nject
edmysel
fwi
tht
hemor
phi
nebef
oreIl
aid
myselfbackont hechaircl
osingmyyes.Ineedi t
totakesatthepain.Theeverything.Iopenedmy
eyesandl ookedupandheldmyguni npl
ace, i
t
disgustsme.Iam nothur tanymor e.No, i
t'
s
somet hi
ngmor edeeperanddar kerthant
hatnow.
Me:
"nc.
.nc.
..
ncRazor"
Ipoi
ntedt
hegunathi
sphot
o.
Me:"Phawwhuuu!!
!(Laughi
ng)Sdabul
aamaf
u
ngezi
nhl
izi
yo(wedi
ewi t
hourhear
ts)"
Il
aidmyheadbackl
aughi
ng.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Igott
ot hehospi
talandSiyametmehal fway.She
tookt
hebabyawayandIwai tedinthewai
ti
ngroom.
Iwantedtofol
lowaswel lbutsheassur
edmet hat
shewillt
akecareofthebaby.Isayther
e
i
mpatientl
yandeventual
lystoodupandpacedup
anddown.Iwasner vousandwant i
ngtoknowhow
hei
s.Af
tersomet
imeSi
yamt
handacomesbackt
o
me.
Me:
"Howi
she?"
Si
ya:
"hei
saheal
thybabyboy"
Me:
"ThankGod."
Si
ya:
"thehospi
tali
scontact
ingtheor
phanage
si
nceyoufoundhim att
hemalldumbster
"
Me:
"no,
noIwantt
otakehi
m"
Siya:
"don'
tyouwanttot
alkt
oNt
ethel
eloabout
adopt
inghi
mf i
rst
ly?
"
Me:
",Iwantt
otakehi
m Si
yamt
handadon'
tyouget
t
hat
.Iwanthi
m! "
Tear
sst
reameddownmyeyes.Iwasshaki
ng.
Siya:"calm down.Iam sor
ryt
oupsetyou.Iwil
l
contactthesocialwor
kersoyoucanhavehim
l
egally"
Inodded.
Si
ya:
",youcancomeseehi
m"
Iwi
pedmytearsandfol
lowedher.Wewenttothe
nur
ser
yandIwashedmyhandsbef or
eenter
ing.He
wasasl
eepandlookedcl
eanert
hist
ime.
Si
ya:
"her
ehei
s."
Me:
"canIt
akehi
m ?"
Shenodded.
It
ookhimintomyar
msandsomethi
ngi
nme
moved.Iwipedmyt
ear
sandski
ll
ed.
Me:
"Si
mphi
weyi
nkosi"
Si
ya:
"ni
cename."
Ismiledandplayedwit
hhissmallhand.Ii
nst
ant
ly
fel
linlovewi
thhim andIcoul
dn'
tletgo.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
53] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t66
*
BAHUMI*

Hi
m:"shei
sasl
eep?"
Inodslowl
y.Iam swal
lowi
ng.Hisper
fumeis
i
ntoxi
cati
ngmynose.Notinabadwaythoughbuti
t
makesmedi zzy.
Me:
"I.
..
pleasecanI"
Het
ouchesmyt
highandimovei
t.
Hi
m:"Rel
ax.Iwi
llgi
veyouandyourbabyabet
ter
l
if
e"
Me:
"No"
Hi
m:"mmmh?"
Me:
"i.
..
Iam havi
nganot
herbabysoi
t'
sabur
den"
Hi
m:"Don'
twor
ryIhavemoneyf
ort
hat"
Me:
"Youar
eol
d."
Hechuckl
ed.
Hi
m:"iknow"
Me;
"letusgo"
Him:"Ican'
twhenChinekeewet
awoezi
gbo
nwunye(Godhasbroughtabeaut
if
ulwi
fef
orme)
"
Me:
"Huh?"
Ij
usti
maginedt
hoseNi
geri
anMovieswhenthey
sayChi
nekesol
oud.Iwonderwhati
tmeans.
Hi
m:"Iwon'
thur
tyou"
IswallowedandlookedatLesedi
.Ilookedupand
thecarstopped.Wewer eattheai
rpor
t.Mynerves
kickedin.WegotoutandIwasholdingthebaby
nexttome.
Hi
m:"Youar
emydaught
er.Don'
tdoanyt
hing"
Inoddedandf oll
owedafterhi
m al
lscared.Ihope
someonenot i
ces.Wegoi nandhedoest he
necessaryandwear eal
lowedt ot
ravel
.Het akes
theplaneticketsandsoonwear eintheplane.I
feell
ikecryingatthi
smoment .
"
Ever
ythi
ngwi
llbeok"
Myhearti
sbeat
ingf
ast.Wearesecuredi
nour
seat
sandthepl
anestar
tst
otakeoffi
nafew.
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Unat
hi:
"Ever
yonekeepsonsayi
ngAnel
eisspeci
al
"
Me:
"Yeahhei
s"
Shel
ooksatmeandst
opspl
ayi
ngwi
thherf
ood."
Unat
hi:
"Thankyouf
ort
hemeal"
Shet
akesaspoonf
ull
Me:
"Ihadt
ogoal
lout
.
Unat
hi:
"Event
omor
row"
Me:"Thepol
icecal
l
edandsai
dtheymi
ghthavea
l
ead"
Unathi:
"that
'swonder
ful,
atl
eastt
heyar
edoi
ng
t
heirwork."
Me:
"yes,
Ihavet
ohoandcheckonKaut
omor
row
"
Unat
hi:
"what
'swr
ong?"
Me:
"hi
smot
herpassedon"
Unat
hi:
"ohmy,
wasshesi
ck?"
Me:
"noshej
ustf
aint
edandt
hatwasi
t."
Unathi:
"thati
shor
ri
ble.Wehavet
obot
hgot
ohi
s
house."
Me:
"yeah"
Unat
hi:
"Ihopehei
sfi
ne"
Ikisshercheekandl
ookatLet
hoandZikhal
iwho
areholdi
ngeachotherwhi
lel
ayi
ngasl
eepont he
couch.
Unat
hi:
"let
'sgett
hem t
obed.
Me:
"Sur
e"
Webot
hst
andupandt
aket
hem t
othebedr
oom.
.
.
*
MERCY*
Me:
"yourmot
heri
scomi
ng"
Nel
iswa:
"thankyou"
Thapelowal
keddownt
hest
air
sandNel
iswar
oll
ed
hereyes.
Me:
"Thapel
o"
Hel
ookedup.
Thapel
o:"Nel
swhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?I
sn'
tHumi
supposedt
obewit
hyou"
Nel
iswa:
"ifshewaswi
thmeshewoul
dbeher
e"
Thapel
o:"andt
heat
ti
tude?"
Me:"Thapelowhat
'swrongwit
hyou?Bahumii
s
outt
herelostwi
thyourchi
ld"
Nel
iswa:
"youmeanchi
ldr
en"
Me:
"excuseme?"
Thapel
o:"l
esedi?"
Me:
"woahst
op,
yousai
dChi
ldr
en"
Nel
iswa:
"uhm "
Shel
ookedatThapel
o.
Nel
iswa:
"It
hinkIhearmymot
her
."
Me:"Thapel
owhat
'sgoi
ngonbet
weenyouand
Bahumi?"
Thapel
o:"Not
hing"
Neli
swa:
"youareadogThapel
oandBahumiI
missi
ngbecauseofyou"
Me:
"someonet
ellmesomet
hingher
e!"
Iwasf
rust
rat
ed.
Nel
iswa:
"Thapel
oandBhamuiwer
edat
ing"
Thapel
o:"youar
efor
war
d"
Me:
"amen"
Icl
appedmyhanddef
eat
ed.
Me:"Soyouaret
ell
ingmeThapel
oimpr
egnat
ed
Bahumiagai
n?"
Thapel
o:"iwhat?
!Idi
dn'
tdot
hat"
Nel
iswa:
"ohBahumisuddenl
ybecameMar
ia"
Thapel
o:"Shutup"
Me:
"St
opf
ight
ing.Ineedwi
ne"
Ihel
dmyhead,
thi
sjustbecameahugemess.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Nur
se:
"TheSoci
alwor
keri
sher
e"
Iswallowedandshet
ookt
hebabyf
rom meandput
him down
Me:
"Oh"
Sheledt
hewayandwewal kedout
.ImetNt
ethel
elo
andAyandawit
hanotherwomanwitht
hem.I
huggedNtet
hel
elo.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:"hewasscr
eamingf
orair
.Howcoul
d
someonedosomet
hingl
iket
hat"
Soci
alwor
ker:
"youar
etheonewhof
oundt
hebaby
?"
InoddedandNt
ethel
elowi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Soci
al:
"ok"
Thenur
setookheri
nsi
det
hewar
d.Il
ookedat
Ntet
hel
elo.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"whati
sit?"
Me:
"canweadopthi
m?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa"
,
Me:"Ngi
yakucel
aMnt ungwa,ngi
yakucela
st
handwaSam (pleaseMntungwa,pleasemyl
ove
)"
Ayanda:
"ther
eisal
ott
oconsi
derAndi
swa"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"yeah,
li
kei
mbel
eko"
Me:
"Baby"
Ntet
helel
o:"Iam af
rai
dwecan't.Ourt
radi
ti
on
backgr
ounddoesn'tal
lowus."
Tear
sstreameddownmyeyesandigotof
fhi
sgr
ip
andrushedof
f.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa!"
Iwassobbi
ngwhi
legoi
ngdownt
hest
air
s.Idi
dn'
t
haveti
mef
oranel
evat
or.Hecaughtupt
omeand
pull
edmei
nati
ghthug.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"iam sor
ry"
Me:"(cr
ying)IwantababyNt
ethel
elopl
ease
pl
ease
Hesi
ghedwhi
leIcr
iedonhi
schest
.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Neli
swal eftandThapelowentupt hestai
rs.I
couldn'
tsayanyt hi
ngtohim atthi
smoment .Ij
ust
hopesandi l
efindsbahumibeforeit'
stoolat
e.He
walksthrought hedoorandIstandup.
Me:
"t
ellmet
heyar
ebehi
ndyou"
Sandi
le:
"Il
ookedf
ort
hem al
loverbutnot
hing"
Isankdown.
Me:
"Nosandi
le"
Sandi
le:
"Baby"
Tear
sst
reameddownmyeyes.
Me:
"Pl
ease,
please"
Sandil
e:"Iwi
llt
ryl
ooki
ngf
ort
hem baby.Iwi
llt
ry
harder
.
Godcant
heybef
ound.?
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
54] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t67

*
SESETHU*
Kau:
"Doyour
eal
lyhavet
ogobackt
owor
k?"
It
ookmybag.
Me:
"yes.Ther
ear
epeopl
ewhoneedt
obesaved.
"
Kau:
"Set
hu"
Me:
"mhhh?"
Hwgotoffthebedandcametomeandheldme
f
rom behi
nd.HekissedmyneckandIsi
ghed.
Kau:
"Not
hingi
sgonnahappent
ous"
Me:
"real
ly?"
,
Kau:
"real
ly"
Heki
ssesmycheek.
Me:"Idon'
tli
kecheati
ngKau,Pl
easei
fther
eis
somethi
ngwrongtalktome"
Het
urnsmear
ound.
Kau:
"Iwoul
dneverdot
hatSet
hu"
Inoddedandki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Wi
llyoubeok?"
Henodded.
Me:
"Iwi
llt
ryt
ocomebackear
ly."
Kau:
"Don'
tover
wor
kyour
sel
f."
Me:
"Iwon'
t"
Weki ssedagai
nandletgoofeachotherbefor
eI
tookmybagandIwal kedoutofthebedroom.I
touchmyst omach.Ir
eal
lyhopethi
sisKau'chil
d.
Somuch.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

"
Let
hokuhl
e!"
IshoutoutasIpackedt
hei
rlunchesi
nthei
rbags.
Me:
"Ki
ds!"
Theycomer ushi
ngi
n.Thi
sissomethingIwoul
d
defi
nit
elyt
akesometi
metogetusedto.
Me:
"Letmeseeal
lyourt
eet
h"
Anel
e:"Daddyhel
pedusbr
ush"
Me:
"That
'swonder
ful
.Yourf
atheri
smysuperher
o.
"
Zi
khal
i:"l
ikespi
derman?
"
Me:
"Yesbaby."
"Iam abi
tmuscul
art
hanspi
derman"
Hewal
ksi
nandIl
ookatt
heki
ds.
Me:
"tur
nar
ound"
TheydoandIgi
vehi
m aqui
ckper
k.
Me:
",
thankyouf
orhel
ping"
Razor:
"youdon'
thavet
odot
hingsonyourown"
Let
ho:
"mommycanwet
urn?
"
Razor:
"notyet"
Hepull
edmywaistandwesharedapassionate
ki
ss.Icoul
dfeel
mykneesgett
ingweak,Ibrokeit
.
Me:
"Lookyouhavel
ipst
ickonyourl
ips."
Heper
kedmyl
ipsandIgi
ggl
ed.
"Ewwuu"
Me:
"Di
dwesayyoucant
urn?"
Shet
urnedbackf
ast
.
Me:
"Takeyourbagsandgoout
side."
Theytur
nedandtookthei
rbagsandwalkedof
f.I
tookt
hecarkeysofft
hecounterandwi
pedRazor
's
l
ips.
Razor:
"Justonequi
cknyana"
Me:
"No.Ihavet
ogo"
Razor:
"Mmmh"
Me:
"St
opsul
king"
Iper
khi
sli
ps.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Razor:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Itookmybagandsai dmybyesbef
orewalki
ngout.
Iopenedthedoorfort
heki
dsandgotthem i
nand
buckledupbefor
egetti
ngi
nsi
deanddrivi
ngthem
offtoschool
.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Ihel
dontot
hecount
erasIfel
taheadachecomi
ng
on.Ihel
dmyheadandthenwenttodri
nksome
water
.
Nt
ambo:
"Iam r
eady"
Hewal
kedi
nfr
om t
hebedr
ooms.
Me:
"ok,
wecango"
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyouf
eel
ingok?"
Me:
"justaheadachet
hat
'sal
l"
Het
ouchedmyf
orehead.
Me:
"mmmh"
Nt
ambo:
"Wher
edoesi
thur
t?"
Me:"Her
e,It
hinkmaybei
t'
sami
grai
ne.Ij
ustneed
pi
ll
s"
Nt
ambo:
"Itcoul
dbeser
ious."
Me:
"Iwi
llgot
otheDraf
terwor
k.it
hinki
t'
sst
ress"
Nt
ambo:
"About?
"
Me:
"Wor
k"
Hel
ooksatmeandIt
akemybag.
Me:
"wecanl
eave"
Nt
ambo:
"What
'sst
ressi
ngyoukhen?"
Me:
"It'
swor
k.Changesf
rom wor
k.Bei
nganadul
t
i
sst
ressaswel
l."
Nt
ambo:
"isee"
Me:
"Comebabyl
et'
sgo"
Nt
ambo:
"ok,
canIgetaki
ssbef
orewego?"
Inoddedandgavehi
m aki
ssbef
orewewal
kedout,
Isi
ghed.
.
.
*
MERCY*
"Mor
ningMommy"
Isli
ght
lysmi
leanddr
inkmyal
cohol
icsubst
ancei
n
themug.
Me:
"Imadepancakes"
Theynodsandsi
tdown.Sandi
lewal
ksi
naswel
l
.
Sandi
le:
"Mer
cy"
Me:
"mmmh?
'
Het
akesmygl
ass.
Sandi
le:
"it
ssoear
lyi
nthemor
ning."
Ipul
lmygownt
oget
herandt
akeagul
p.
Me:
"icoul
dn'
tsl
eeppr
oper
ly"
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
llf
indt
hem "
Me:"I
t'
smyfault,
Ishoul
dhavet
ri
edbet
ter,
not
iced
ever
ythi
ngbet
weenthem."
Sandi
le:
"youdi
dn'
tandi
t'
sok"
IshookmyheadandThapel
owal
keddownt
he
stai
rs.Il
ookedathi
m.
Thapel
o:"goodmor
ning"
Me:
"Ifanyt
hinghappenst
othem .
..
"
Sandi
le:
'Mer
cydon'
t,
cal
m down"
Ibr
okedown
Me:
"Fi
ndt
hem Sandi
le"
Sandi
le:
"Iwi
ll"
.
.
*
NTETHELELO*

Ilookedatherlayingonthebed.Isi ghedstil
lcan't
gethercr i
esoutofmyhead.Il oveAndi swaandI
wantt oseeherhappybuti t
'stoughsi tuat
ionsthat
putusi ntoughplaces.It urnedar oundandI
sighedbeforeIcouldhearhersqui rmingandIt urn
andshei sholdingthepil
lowl i
kei t
'sababy.I t
'snot
thefir
st.It
'sbeenhappeningsi ncet heabor t
ionand
Idon'tknowhowt ohelpher.Shehashaunt ed
dreamsabouti t.Asmuchasi taff
ect sthebothof
usbuti t
'staki
ngat ol
lonherandiwantmywi fe
back.Iwal ktothebedandshakeherabi t.
Me:
"sugarpl
um "
Shesqui
rmsabi
tbef
oreopeni
nghereyes.
Me:
"ar
en'
tyougoi
ngt
owor
k?"
Shesatup.
Andi
swa:
"Idon'
tfeel
ok,
Iwi
llcal
linsi
ck"
Me:
"Ok"
Shelooksatthepi
ll
owandput
sitasi
debef
ore
get
ti
ngof ft
hebed.
Me:
"Andi
swa"
Shest
opshert
racks.
Me:
"wecanadopt
"
Shet
urnst
ome.
Andi
swa:
"real
ly?"
Inodandshecomesandhugsmesobbi
ng.
Andi
swa:
"thankyouMnt
ungwa,
thankyouMbul
azi
"
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Iwi
pehert
ear
s.
Andi
swa:"Il
oveyoutoo.Letmegobat
hsowecan
goandgetSiphi
we"
Me:
"younamedhi
m?"
Shenoddedt
henwal
kedt
othebat
hroom.
.
.

*
BAHUMI*

Welandedaf t
ersomet i
me.Travel
ingthewhol e
ni
ght,Iwashol di
ngLessedit
omeaswewal ked
outofeairpor
t.Seeingwhi
tepeopleeverywher e
andotherraci
algroupsandit
'sconfi
rmedt hatwe
arei
nEur opebytheweather.
Me:
"Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"
Hi
m:"t
oahot
el"
Ikeptmysi
lence.
Hi
m:"l
etmehol
dherf
oryou"
Me:
"no"
henodded.Wegotinacabanditdr
oveof
ftothe
hotel
aswear ri
vedwegott
hekeyandwentt
ot he
room al
locat
ed.Thevi
ewwasgloomyandit
scold
here,verycol
d
Hi
m:'
comeandbat
h"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Idon'
thavecl
othes"
Li
es
Hi
m:"youwi
llwearmi
ne"
Iswal
lowed
Her:
"comeonputherdown"
Me:
"pr
omi
seshewi
llbeok"
Hi
m:"Ipr
omi
se"
IputlesedionthebedandmadeSurethatshe
won'tfal
l,coveredhert
henhetookmyhandand
l
edmet otheensuitbat
hroom.I
twasbeauti
fuland
veryneataswell,expectedi
nhot el
s.Heopensthe
showerandIam st i
llmemorisedbybeauty.He
closesthedoorandIturntohim andheistaki
ng
offhisclot
hes.Iswallowedscared.
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Hi
m:"wear
etaki
ngashower
."
Me:
"Pl
easeI.
..
"
Hi
m:"comeoni
t'
sjustashower"
Hecamet
omeandundr
essedme.Tear
sst
reamed
downmycheeks.
Hi
m:"shhhdon'
tcr
y.Iwon'
thur
tyou"
Iswall
owed.Hegotmeundressed.Hi
schestwas
scar
yandhisarms.Hecoul
dstrangl
emeononego
andIwoul
dbedead.Hecaressedmycheekt hen
ki
ssedmyforehead.
Hi
m:"Geti
ntheshower
"
Igetintheshowershaki ngandhealsogetsina
fewmi nut
eslater.Heclosestheshowerdoorand
myhear tbeat
sf astwhenhehol dsmywaist.He
kissesmyneck.
Hi
m:"Iam Ucheoma"
Iswal
lowandhishandsmovedf
rom mywai
stt
o
mybuttthenmywaistagai
n.
Hi
m:"youwi
llbeKhandi
bef
rom nowon"
Me:
"howol
dar
eyou?"
Hi
m:"37"
Iswal
lowedandhet
urnedmear
oundandpi
cked
meup.
Me:
"pl
easeputmedown.
Hi
m:"Iwon'
thur
tyou"
Hecar
essesmyboobandkissesmyneckandthen
r
unshist
humbonmyf aceandkissesmyl
ipssoft
ly.
Hi
m:"don'
tbescar
ed.Iwi
ll
treatyoul
ikeaqueen"
Hekissesmeagai
nandIfeelhisshaftpoki
ngmy
abdomen.Icoul
dfeelmyworldstopping.His
handsgoest
omynunaandhet ouchesit.
Hi
m:"canIent
erat
ip"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
obat
h"
Hi
m:"Youar
emywi
fenow,
rel
ax"
Me:
"Ican'
t,t
hisi
suncomf
ort
abl
e"
Heput
sinat
ipandibi
temybot
tom l
ip.
Hi
m:"Iwi
llmovegent
lyi
fyoucan'
ttakehi
m,t
ell
me"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
t"
Hepushediti
ndeeperandIcri
ed.Ifeelhopel
ess.
I
t'
sallmyfaul
tIam i
nthissi
tuat
ionandputt
ing
l
esedii
nitaswell
.

.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
54] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t68

Me:
"Khensani"
Ical
loutf
orherandshemovesf
rom t
heladi
esand
comesmyway.Iwal ki
nsi
demyoffi
ceandIsit
downassheenters.
Me:
"pl
easecl
oset
hedoorandsi
tdown."
Shedoest
hatandcomest
osi
tdowni
nfr
ontofme.
Khensani:
"Anyt
hingwr
ongboss?"
Me:
"Yes"
Sheswal
lows.
Me:"What
'sgoi
ngoninyourl
if
e?Youdon'
tseem
okandIam wor
ri
ed"
Khensani:
"JustMi
norr
elat
ionshi
pissues"
Me:
"isFezi
lehi
tt
ingyou?"
Khensani:'
No..
nohewouldneverdothat
.It
'sj
ust
misunderst
andi
ngsl
ikeanyrel
ati
onshi
p."
Me:"ok,ifyoudon'tf
eelokorwantt
otal
kabout
what'
sbotheri
ngyouIam here.AsmuchasIam
yourboss,Iam yourfr
iendaswel
l"
Khensani:
"Iknowt
hat
.Thankyou,
"
Ismi
led.
Khensani:
"howwasyourweekend?
"
Me:
"don'
task.Ki
dsar
ehect
ic"
Shegi
ggl
ed.
Khensani:
"Unat
hi"
Me:
"yes"
Khensani:
"thi
sisyoursecondmar
ri
ager
ight?"
Inodded.
Khensani:
"Howdoesi
tfeel
?"
Me:"di
ff
erent,If
eell
ikeiam wi
thmysoul
mat
ethi
s
r
ound.Ifeelhappyandcontent"
Khensani:
"ifYouandLi
ndaniweret
ostayas
boyf
riendandgir
lf
ri
endwouldyoubeok?"
Me: "YesIwouldhavebeen.Him wanti
ngtomarr
y
mei sjustmyluck,af
termyfi
rstmarr
iageIdi
dn'
t
expectgetti
ngmarr
iedorwanti
ngmar r
iageaswel
l
butitjustcametome"
Shenodded.
Me:
"Khensani"
Khensani:
"Mmmh?"
Me: "ThisismyopinionbutIthi
nkwhenaper son
hasalreadymarriedandbrokeofftheydon't
necessaril
yexpectmarri
ageandt hat'
sokbutyou
haven'tgott
enmar r
iedbefor
esoi t
'shighly
expectedforyoutowantthatexperience,toweara
ri
ng, haveahusbandandki ds,dealwi t
hinlaws.
Everythi
ng"
Khensani:
"yeahI
tsni
cebuti
t'
sfi
ne."
Me:
"youdon'
twantmar
ri
age?"
Khensani:
",Fezi
ledoesn'
t"
,
Me:
"oh"
Khensani:
"(si
gh)i
t'
sfi
ne"
,
Me:
"haveyout
alkedt
ohi
m aboutt
hat?"
Khensani:
"Yesandi
t'
snotget
ti
ngusanywher
e.I
deci
dedtocompromi
se"
Me:"don'tgi
veineasi
ly.Makehi
m putari
ngon
t
hatwithoutt
alki
ngtohim.Youknowthepr
obl
em.
Findthesol ut
ionandbesi desdon'tmakehi mt hi
nk
hehasgotyouonl ockdown.Got ot hemal lwi t
h
him andwi nkatkids.Beonyourphonei nhi s
presenceandl aughatmemes, bl
ushingonl ove
quotes,doyourhai randnai l
s,pamperyour selfi
n
theprocessandhewi llt
hinkyouar esli
ppingt hen
hewi l
lcuffthat"
Khensani:
"yout
hink?"
Me:"yesandbuyal ingeri
eandcleanthe
apar
tmentini
t,don'tlethi
mtouchi tt
houghorhave
i
tatthatt
imebutifyouguyst al
keditwil
lwor
k."
Khensani:
"Iwi
llt
ryt
hoset
ri
cks,
thankyou"
Me:
"youar
ewel
come."
Khensani:
"Ihavet
ogetbackatwor
k"
Me:
"okbabes"
Shest
oodupandwal
kedout
.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*
Whenwear ri
vedatthehospi
talIwenttoseeaDr
soIcouldgetasi
cknoteandIdi dgetone,af
ter
thatIwentt
othenurser
yandNt ethel
elowas
standi
ngbythewindowlooki
ngatt hebabi
es.I
heldhisar
m.
Me:
"howl
onghaveyoubeenst
andi
ngher
e?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"somet
ime"
Thenur
secameoutandcamet
ous.
Nur
se:
"Youl
ovet
hisbaby"
Ismi
led.
Nur
se:
"youcancomei
n"
Me:
"come"
Iwalkedinsi
dewithhim andgotourhandscleaned
beforewewalkedtohislit
tl
ebed.Hewassl eeping
peaceful
ly.Thenursepickedhim upandgavethe
babyt omeandIkissedhisforeheadsof
tl
y.
Me:
",Heybaby"
Nur
se:
"wegavehi
mthatnameyoument
ioned
yest
erday"
Ismi
ledandl
ookedatNt
ethel
elo.
Me:
"ist
hesoci
alwor
kercomi
ngt
oday?"
Nurse:
"no,shesai
dsheismeetingwi
ththefami
ly
whowil
ladopthi
m, appar
ent
lysomecouplewant
s
hi
m"
Il
ookatNt
ethel
elo.
,
Nt
ethel
elo:
"whenwi
llhebedi
schar
ged?"
Nurse:"heisf
ine.Onl
ytheDrknowswhenhewi
ll
bedischar
gedbutIthi
nktoday."
Tear
sst
reameddownmyeyes.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa.Shhh"
Me:
"theyar
etaki
nghi
m away"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"not
heyar
enot"
Me:
"theyar
eadopt
inghi
m"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swal
ist
en.Thesoci
alwor
keri
s
meeti
ngwit
hus"
Me:
"oh"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"cal
m down"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"thankyou"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"It
'sok"
Het
ookhi
sti
nyhandi
ntohi
sfi
nger
.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"hei
ssmal
l"
Me:
",yeah"
Iwashappywi
thever
ythi
ng.
.
.
*
THAPELO*

Lee-
ann:
"babeyouok?"
Iwasst
andi
ngbyt
het
uckshopwai
ti
ngf
orher
.
Me:
"yeahyeahIam f
ine"
Lee-
ann:
"IboughtLay'
s",
Shegavemeapack.Ihadmywor r
ies,whywould
Bahumirunwit
hourdaught
er?Whydidn'
tshet
ell
mesheispregnantagai
n.
Lee-
ann:
"Iwast
hinki
ng"
Me:
"yeah?
"
Lee-
ann:
",howaboutwegoonabeacht
ri
pwi
th
someofourfri
ends",
Me:
"that
'ssoundsok"
Mymi ndwasn'ther
eatal
l.Shekepton
conversat
ing
.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Hewipeshishandsandki
ssesmyf or
ehead.Ihave
cr
iedti
llIdi
dn'
thaveanyt
earsl
eft
.
Hi
m:"Imeet
ingwi
thanagentt
omor
rowf
orani
ce
apar
tmentf
orus.Mybr
other
swhatt
omeetyou"
Il
ookathi
m andt
henLesediwhoi
sont
hebed.
Me:
"whyme?"
Hi
m:"youar
ebeaut
if
ul"
Heki
ssedmyl
ipssl
owl
y.
Him:
"youshouldst
opcr
yingandt
ryt
opar
ti
cipat
e,
nowl
etsdothi
s",
Heleansi nandkissesmyli
psandIrespond.Hi
s
handtravelsunderthegownIam weari
ngtomy
thi
ghs, Ibrokei
t.
Me:
"pl
ease"
Hesmi
rked.
Him:"tr
ustme,ok?IfIwant
edyouhur
tIwouldI
havesoldyouandourbabyt
obesexslaves."
Me:
"ourbaby?"
Hepoi
ntsatl
esedi.
Hi
m:"t
heywi
llbeourki
dsandmanymor
etocome
"
,
Me:
"Iam 15"
Hi
m:",
Mmh"
Hest
andsup.
Hi
m:"needanymor
efood?"
Ishookmyheadandhenoddedbef
oregoi
ngt
othe
bathr
oom,
.Il
ookedatl
esedi
.
.
.
*
MERCY*

Thisiski
ll
ingmeever ypassingsecondthatIdon't
hearanyt
hingconcer ningt
hem.Iam wat chi
ngthe
newsandscr oll
ingthroughtheint
ernetj
ustincase
anylesscanpopupbutnot hing.Myphoner i
ngs
andit'
sSandile.Ijumpandansweri t
.
Me:
"anyt
hing?
"
Sandi
le:"i
t'
ssomethi
ng.Shewaswithaguywho
wassaidthathel
eftwi
thbot
hofthem "
Me:
"towher
e?"
Sandi
le:
"Idon'
tknowbutt
heywer
eseenyest
erday
onthest
reet
s."
Me:
"ohmyGodSandi
le"
Sandi
le:
"Iam st
il
llooki
ng"
Me:
"pl
easebabypl
ease."
Sandi
le:
",ok"
Hehungup.Ican'
timagi
nethem bei
ngr
aped.I
wenti
nmykneesandIcried.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
54] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t69

Igotoutofmysideandsoashi
m.Iam carryi
nga
fr
uitbasket
.Notqui
etsur
ewhatyoubr
ingwhen
youaregoi
ngt
osendyourcondol
encest
o
someone.
Anel
e:"Mama"
Me:
"Baby"
Anel
e:"canIpl
ayagame?"
Igavehim myphone.I t'
sjustaf
terwedropped
LethoandZikhaliatAndi
swa'shouse.Itwassad
l
eavingthem buttheywil
lsurevisi
tsoon.
Razor:
"Let
'sgo"
Inodandwemakeourwayi nsidet
heyard,peopl
e
areupanddownandsomewomani sbarki
ng
orders.Shest
andssti
llsqui
ntinghereyesand
waitsforustoappr
oach.
Her:
"Hai
boI
t'
syouFezi
le?"
RazorChuckl
edshyl
y.Sheremovesherhands
fr
om herhi
psandgiveshi
m abi
ghug.
Her:"Youhavegrownfrom t
hatnaughtyboyyou
werewithKauchasingeachothernakedar
oundthe
yar
d."
Razor:
"Usukhi
phaamafi
lesmanj
eRakgadi(You
ar
eexposi
ngmyt hi
ngsnowAunty)"
Her:
"Yes.Ohwhoi
sthi
swoman?"
Razor:
"mywi
feandson"
Her:
"Obuamaka,
heehmunt
le(Youar
elyi
ngshe
i
sbeaut
if
ul)
"
Shel
ooksatAnel
e.
Her:
"Heyboy,
thi
sisyourgr
andmot
her"
Anel
elooksup.
Anel
e:"hel
loGogo"
Her:
"sayKokoneh?"
Henoddedwi
thasmi
le.
Her:"Ni
cet
omeetyou.Ican'
tbel
ieveIwasn'
t
i
nvit
ed."
Wechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Idi
dsendyouri
nvi
te"
Her:"Iam j
oki
ng.Iusedt
obat
handspankyour
husband"
Igi
ggl
ed.
Me:
"Thankyouf
orsnappi
nghi
m"
Her:
"yes.Hi
m andKauknowJer
ry"
Iwasconf
used.
Razor:
"let
'sgoi
nsi
debef
oreot
hert
hingscomeout
andrui
nme"
Her:
"thi
sissmal
lst
uff"
Wel
aughed.
Her:
"i
t'
ssowonder
fult
oseeyou"
Razor:
"Met
ooevent
houghi
t'
sinabadsi
tuat
ion"
Her:
"Shewasawonder
fulwoman."
Razornodded.
Razor:
"let
'sgo"
Wewal kedinsideandwegr eetedthewomenther
e
andthenleftthefrui
tbasket.Razortookmyhand
andledust othebedroomsandt hat
'swher
ewe
foundKauwi thanoldmanandNt amboaswel
l.
Theywer eholdingKau'sfeet.
Me:
"Gopl
ay"
Hewentt
othel
ounge.
Nt
ambo:
"Kaul
ist
en"
Heshookhi
shead.
Nt
ambo:
"Thi
nkaboutSeset
huandyourchi
ld"
Ol
dman:
"Pl
easet
aket
hisaway"
Hepoint
ednextt
ohi
m andi
twasagun.Igul
ped
andRazort
ookit
.
Razor:
"CanI?"
,
TheynoddedandgotupandIturnedaswel
landwe
l
eftthem.Washetryi
ngtokil
lhi
mself?Hemust
havelovedhi
smothersodear
ly.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*
Ntet
hel
elo:
"Weshoul
dgetgoi
ng.Iam sur
ethe
ki
dshavearr
ivedt
oAunt
yKhuli
siwe"
Me:
"Can'
twet
akehi
m homet
oday?"
Ntet
hel
elo:"No,
theDrhasn'
tsaidanythingandt
he
soci
alworker
.Wehavetotakethelegalsteps
Andi
swa"
Me:
"Ok"
Iki
ssedhi
sfor
ehead.
Me:
"Mommywi
llseeyout
omor
row"
Ntet
hel
elotookmyhandandwel ef
tthenurser
y.I
f
eltbet
terandli
ghtt
oday.Iwasevensmili
ng.
Ntet
hel
elolooksatmeandsmil
ed.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"andt
hesmi
le?"
Me:
"Ij
ustf
eelhappy"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam gl
adyouar
ehappy"
Wegeti
ntheelevat
oranditshut
s.Ican'
tgo
mot
herSimphi
we, Iwon'
tbeabletol
ethi
m go.
.
.
*
WENDY*
Me:
"Rast
a"
Rast
a:"MaWenz"
Me:
"Howar
eyou?
"
Rast
a:"Razorwant
syouher
e.Hei
supanddown
l
ooki
ngforyou"
Me:
"whatdi
dyousay?"
Rast
a:"thatIdon'
tknowyoubutyouknowr
azori
s
notafool"
Me:
"Justal
it
tl
ebi
tmor
esoIcanhaveconfidence
t
ocomebackandf
acemyconsequences"
Rast
a:"AhWendy"
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Rast
a:"I
fhef
indsyout
henhef
indsyou"
Me:
"Rast
a!"
HehungupandIgr
oanedt
hencl
ickedmyt
ongue.
Me:
"usel
ess"
Ithr
ewmyphoneacrosst
heroom andlookedat
thei
rwor
noutpi
ctur
e.Thr
ougheveryt
hingIhave
doneoni
tit
'sst
il
ldi
spl
ayst
hei
rsmi
lest
hemost
.
Me:
"Ihat
eyouLi
ndaniNgomane!
"
.
.
*
RAZOR*

Me:
"Kau"
Hewassi
lent
.
Me:"Not
hingi
sgonnachanget
hef
actthatyouar
e
hur
t.Weallar
e,webothl
ostamot
her."
Kau:
"Ican'
tGr
oot
man"
Me: "Youarenotal
one.Ki l
li
ngyour selfwilli
nfl
ict
mor epainonyourf
ather,morepainonme, more
painonSesethuandthebabymi ghtnotmakei t.
Youhavet othi
nkofalotofpeopl
e.Mom di edbutI
didn'
tkil
lmyself
.Iam thankf
ulforalltheloveshe
hadf ormeevenwhenIusedt omakeabadname
forherinthecommunity.Yourmot herlovedyou
andshewoul dn'
twanttoseeyout herewi t
hherany
moment
."
Kau:
"Yeah"
Me:"i
t'
sokt
ocr
yoncei
nawhi
le.Wear
ehuman
Gr
ootman"
Kau:
"Set
huwant
smet
oobutIj
ustcan'
tdoso"
Me: "That'
sawoman.Becomf ort
abl
eandyoucan
bevulnerabl
earoundhercausehewant
stosee
thatandbet her
eforyou"
Hel
ookedatme.
Kau:
"Haveyoucr
iedi
nfr
ontofUnat
hi?
"
Me,
:
"Icr
iedar
iveronherchest"
,
Hechuckl
ed.
Me:"Butshedidn'
tcar
e.Shecomfor
tedmet
il
lI
wasok.Itdoesn'
tmakeyouanyl
essofaman"
Kau:
"Mmmh"
Me:
"Youwon'
tgetyourgunanyt
imesoon"
Kau:
"Ok"
Ipat
tedhi
slap.
Me:
"Youwi
llbeabl
etol
ivewi
thi
twi
tht
ime"
Hewassi
lent
.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Si
ya:
"GooddayMommy"
Sheput
saf
il
eonmydesk.
Me:
"HeyMr
s"
Si
ya:
"howar
ethi
ngs?"
Me:"hect
ic.It
oldhi
mthatt
hebabymi
ghtnotbe
hi
s"
Si
ya:
"whywoul
dyoudot
hatwhenhei
sli
ket
his?"
Me:
"itwaseat
ingmeup."
Si
ya:
"and?"
Me:
"heunder
standsandwon'
tleaveme"
Si
ya:
"Ihopehest
ickst
othat"
Me:
"Yes."
Si
ya:
"Ihavegotwor
ktodo."
Me:
"ok.Thanksf
ort
hef
il
e"
Shest
andsupandther
eisaknockont
hedoor
.
Sheopensandl
ooksatme.
"CanIcomei
n?"
Si
ya:
"It
hinkyoushoul
dleave"
Myhear
tski
ppedabeat.
"Ij
ustneedt
otal
ktoher"
Siyal
ookedatmeandmovedoutoft
hewayandhe
appear
ed,Istoodup.
Me:
"Lukhanyo"
Lukhanyo:
"Set
hu"
Me:
"pl
easel
eave"
Lukhanyo:
"canwet
alk?"
Si
ya:"Iwi
llseeyou"
Shewal
kedof
fcl
osi
ngt
hedoor
.
Lukhanyo:
"baby"
Me:
"whatar
eyouher
efor?"
Lukhanyo:
"IknowImessedupandIam sor
ry"
Me:
"Sor
ry?"
Lukhanyo:
"BabyIam sor
ry.Ineedyouback"
,
Me:"Iam notgoi
nganywhere.Iam happywher
eI
am atmor
et hanyouhavegi
venmehappi ness"
Lukhanyo:
"Iwi
llbuyt
hatj
ewel
ler
yyoual
ways
wanted."
Me: "i
t'
snotaboutmat eri
alsdon'
tyougeti t!That
jewell
erywon'tsoothwhatyoubroke,itwon' tf
ix
anythi
ng.Yesyouusedt obuymegi ft
sjustt o
makeever yt
hinggobutnotanymor e.Idon' twant
anythi
ngt odowi t
hyou.Iam evenquestioningour
engagement .Di
dyour eal
lywanttomar r
ymeor
youwant edtosweepsomet hingunder?"
Lukhanyo:
"Iam sor
rybaby"
Me:
"Getoutofmyof
fi
cebef
oreIcal
lmyboyf
ri
end
t
osor
tyouout"
Lukhanyo:
"Iam notl
eavi
ngt
il
lwesor
tthi
ngsout
."
Icl
ickedmyt
ongueandt
ookmyphoneandcal
led
Kau.
Razor:
"Set
hu"
Me:
",,
Wher
eisKau?"
Razor:
"Busy"
Lukhanyost
andsup.
Razor:
"Somet
hingwr
ong?"
Me:
"someonei
sbot
her
ingme"
Lukhanyo:
"Iwi
llbeback"
Het
urnedandwal
kedout
.
Razor:
"whoi
sit?
"
Me:
"Myex."
Razor:
"Whenar
eyouknocki
ngof
f?"
,
Me:
"Ihaveanhourl
eft"
Razor,
:
"okhewi
llf
etchyou"
Me:
",ok.Howi
she?"
Razor:
"fi
ne"
Me:
"okt
hanks.Tel
lhi
m Il
ovehi
m"
Hechuckl
ed.
Razor:
"Iwi
ll"
Ihungupandbr
eat
hedout
.Ir
ubbedmyst
omach.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Zi
khal
i:"mommy"
Her
ushedt
ome.Icaughthi
m.
Me:
"Mybaby.Howwasvi
sit
ing?"
Zi
khal
i:"Ihave4gogo'
snow"
Me:
"Wow"
Khul
isi
we:
"Theycameher
eexci
ted."
Me:"Iam sur
etheyhadagr
eatt
ime.Wher
eis
Let
ho?"
Khul
isi
we:
",,
shei
ssl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"ohmustbet
ir
ed"
Zi
khal
i:"Uncl
ewaspl
ayi
ngwi
thusout
sideMommy
"
Me:
"real
ly"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Idon'
tli
kehi
m vi
sit
ing"
Me:
"Ser
iousl
yNt
ethel
elo?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam j
ustput
ti
ngi
toutt
her
e"
Me:
"goandpl
ay"
Iputhi
m downandherushesoff
.Thedoorbell
ri
ngsbefor
eIcansayanyt
hing.AuntyKhuli
siwe
wenttoopenandcamebackwiththeSoci
alworker
.
Soci
alwor
ker:
"Hi"
Me:
"Howar
eyou?"
Her:
"Iam wel
lthankyou,
youmustbe.
..
."
Me:
"Andi
swaandmyhusbandNt
ethel
eloKhumal
o
"
Her:
"wonder
ful"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"mayweal
lgoandsi
tdown"
Wewenttothelounge.Aunt
yKhul
isi
webr
ought
j
uiceandIt
hankedher.
Her:
"Youar
etheonewhof
oundt
hel
it
tl
ebabyboy
"
Me:
"yesandwewoul
dli
ket
oadopthi
m."
Her:"Ok,Ij
ustneedtoknowifyouwil
lbeabl
eto
takecar
eofhim, notdr
unkparent
s.Doyouhave
kids?"
Me:
"Yest
wo"
Soci
alwor
ker:
"Howol
dar
ethey?"
Me:
"5,
year
s."
Shenodded.
Soci
alwor
ker:
"doyoubot
hwor
k?"
Us:
"yeswedo"
Soci
alwor
ker:
"whatar
eyouMr
s?"
Me:
'Iam at
eacheri
napr
imar
yschool
."
Shel
ooksatNt
ethel
elo.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Shar
ehol
derofVol
kswagenandown3
br
anchesinSout
hAfr
ica"
Shewr
it
est
hatdown.
Soci
alwor
ker:
"nocr
imi
nalr
ecor
d?"
Weshookourheads..
Soci
alworker:"canwet ouryourhouseforsaf
ety
andassurancethatthebabyisgoingtobetaken
car
eoffinwonder f
ulhands."
Me:
"sur
e"
Weallst
oodupandIhel
dNt
ethel
elo'
shandaswe
wal
kedaround.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
54] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t70
*
BAHUMI*
Timef lewpastver yqui cklyandi twasf ourweeks
l
ater.Ial wayschecki fLesedii snotvi ol
atedand
noshei snot.Hecr adlesheratt imesandt hat
str
essesmeout.Hei sani cemanact uall
yandhe
i
skeepi nghispr omises.Wemovedoutoft hehotel
andi ntoacomf ort
ablespace.Iam notBahumi
anymor e.Iam Kandinow, andIam someone' s
wife, Wear eint hesuper mar ket, i
t'
sver ycold
outsideandwear einwar m cl othes.Jeans,
poloneck( turtl
eneck) acoatont opwi thboot s.I
havechangedmyhai r.It'
snotnat uralanymor ebut
mor elikeIwearweavesnowandabi tofmakeup
hereandt here.Iam pushi ngt hest r
ollerthat
Lesedii sin,heispushi ngt het r
olley.
Hi
m:"what
'sl
eft?"
Il
ooki
nsi
det
het
rol
ley.
Me:
"Mi
lk?"
Hi
m:"WegotbabyMi
lk"
Me:
"No,
Mil
k"
Hechuckl
es
Hi
m:"ohIsee"
Hereacheshishandbehindmeandt
akest
hemi
lk
andputsiti
nthetrol
ley.
Hi
m:"Okwecango"
Inoddedandhewentt
opay.
Cashi
er:
"Iadmi
reAf
ri
canwomenf
orhowt
heyage.
"
Il
ookedatheri
nherbr
it
ishaccent
.
Her:
"youagesogr
acef
ull
y"
Me:
"thankyou"
Shesmiles,
heclearedhisthr
oat.Whenhewas
donewewal kedouttothecarandheloaded
ever
ythi
nginandIputlesediinherseatandt
hen
wegotinandhedr oveoff.
Hi
m:"Mybr
other
sadmi
reyou."
Me:
"oh"
Henods.
Me:
"Wi
llIgot
oschool?"
Hi
m:"youwi
llhomeschooli
fyouwantt
ost
udy"
Me:
"Ido"
Hi
m:'
Anyt
hingyouwi
shf
orishal
ldo"
Me:
"real
ly?"
Henoddedt
henl
ookedatme.
Me:
"ok"
Hi
m:"KandiIl
oveyou"
Iswal
lowed.
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Hesmil
edandkissedmyhands,
het
ouchedmy
st
omachanditwasgrowi
ng.
Hi
m:"ar
eyoust
il
lfi
ne?"
Me:
"yesIam "
Hi
m:"Ihopei
t'
saboy"
Ismi
leandt
ouchi
t.
Me:
"met
oo."
Il
ookbehi ndmeatLesediandsheseemst obeata
peacefulstar
e.Wegothomeandwegotout .I
walkedinwi t
hLesediupandputheronherpl aying
chairwhil
ehewal kedinwit
ht hefood.It
urnedthe
heateronasIwasf r
eezi
ng.Iam notusedtot hi
s
ki
ndofcl i
mat e.Heputseverythi
ngdownand
comest omeandhol dsmywai standki
ssesmy
neck.
Hi
m:"baby"
Me:
"mmmh"
Hi
m:"i
t'
scol
d"
Me:
"theheat
eri
son"
Hetur
nedmear oundandki
ssedmehol
dingmy
wai
stthenpi
ckedmeup.Iswearhei
sonsomepil
l.
Me:
"Ican'
tleaveheral
one"
Hi
m:"wewi
llj
ustopencar
toonsandgi
vehert
oys"
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Hebr
ushesmycheekandopenst
hecar
toonsand
gi
vesherat
oytoplaywit
hofwhi
chshecan'
thol
d
pr
operl
y.Hewalkstot
hebedr
oom wi
thmekissi
ng
me.
.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Me:
"wel
comehome"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Fi
nal
ly"
Hest
opst
hecarandIl
ookathi
m.
Me:
"thankyouMnt
ungwa"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"anyt
hingt
omakeyouhappy"
Me:
"thankyou"
Wegotoutoft
hecarandItookhi
mint
omyarms.
Nt
ethel
elot
ooktheCarchai
randwewal
kedi
nsi
de.
"Sur
pri
se!"
Myhear
talmostst
oppedandhecr
iedabi
tbutI
cal
medhim down.
Si
ya:
"Wel
comeHomeMnt
ungwa"
Me:
"Mah"
Shecamef
ort
handwehugged.
Me:
"Wowyouar
eher
efr
om Kzn"
Her:
"Icoul
dn'
tmi
ssmeet
ingmynewgr
andson"
Thatwar
medmyhear
thowever
yonei
slovi
nghi
m.
Me:
"thankyou"
Li
sa:
"heyIam her
e"
Me:
'TheCapeMast
er"
Ever
yonel
aughed.Itur
nedt
oNt
ethel
eloand
huggedhi
m whi
lecryi
ng.
Ever
yone:
"ncooh"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"it
'sok"
Bl
esst
hismanGod.Ihuggedhi
mti
ght
ly.
Ayanda:
"Canwepar
ty?"
Siya:"awusemdal
anokunkwar
iza(youar
esool
d
forpartyi
ng)"
Ever
yonel
aughed.Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sandl
aughed.
Unami:
"What
'shi
sname?"
Me:
"Si
mphi
weyi
nkosi
"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"NoMbul
azi"
Baba:
"yes"
Wechuckled.Ihuggedever
yone.Dadtomom.
Ever
yonewasher eandIwashappy.Ever
ythi
ngi
s
comingt
ogether.
.
.

*
MERCY*
IthasbeenfourweeksandIdon'tfeelwell.Ihave
l
osthopei nthem bei
ngfound.Iam standinghere
doingal
lthatIusual
lydoyeti
tfeel
slikeIam not
here.
Thapel
o:"Mer
cy"
Il
ookathi
m.
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry"
Me:
"yousor
rywon'
tbr
ingt
hem backnow"
Thapel
o:"Idi
dn'
tknow,
shedi
dn'
ttel
lme"
Me:"Youar
e17Thapel
o.Youwer
eol
dert
hanher
and..
..
and"
Isobbedandhehuggedme.
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry.Ial
sowantt
hem back."
Me:
"theyar
eGone.Theyar
egone."
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry."
.
.
*DI
NA*

Andi
swa:
"t
heyl
ooksocut
e."
Me:
"Ver
ymuch.Ican'
tgetovert
hem "
Si
ya:
"nowIwantababy"
Ayandacomesandsi
tsnextt
oherandZamaninext
t
ome.
Zamani:
"howar
ethey?"
Me:
"bei
ngbouncedar
ound"
Hechuckl
ed.
Andiswa:
"soaf ewmoredayst
il
lweWedyou
guys.Iam soexci
ted."
Unami:
"met
oohey.Somuch"
Si
ya:
"Ayanda"
Ayanda:
"whatdi
dshedr
ink?"
Andi
swa:
"Wi
newi
thabi
tofvodka"
Ayanda:
"okt
hat
'senough"
Het
akest
hegl
assf
rom herhands.
Li
sa:
"shecanhol
dher
sel
ftoget
her
."
Si
ya:
"Iwantababy"
Ever
yonel
aughs.
Ayanda:
"wear
egonnahaveababy"
Sheki
sseshi
sli
ps.
Si
ya:
"Il
oveyou"
Ayanda:
"Il
oveyout
oobaby"
Ismi
leandl
ookatZamani
.
Zamani:
"(whi
sper
ing)Wantsomet
hing?"
Me:
"No"
Andi
swa:
"Iwantmybabynow"
Ever
yonelaughedandshestoodupandwentoffi
n
sear
chofherson.Ilookedatever
yoneandhel
d
Zamani'
shand.Thi sissomethi
ngtoenj
oy.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*
Myhear tcoul
dn'
tstopbeat
ingfastashecar essed
myt highabit
.Iam sureLesediiswonder i
ng
whereIam yetsheissil
ent
.Heki ssesmy
shoulderandibl
inkmyeyesclosedf eel
ingalump.
Iwon'tgetusedt
ot hi
s.Ican'
tgetusedt oit
.
Hi
m:"Ar
eyouhungr
y?"
Myst
omachbet
raysmeandInod.
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"l
etmegomakesomef
oodt
hen"
Inoddedandsatupf rom thebedr emovi ngthe
covers.Hewear sboxer sandwal ksout.Igetof f
thebedandgot othebathroom andt earsst r
eam
downmyeyes.Iopent hewat erandgeti n.
EverydayIscrubmysel fbuthisscentseemst obe
stuckonme.I talwaysfil
lsmynost ril
sever ywhere
Iam. Thehotwat erdoesn'tdoanyt hi
ng, i
tburns
mebutdoesn' tremoveanyt hing.Ifi
lli
ncol dwat er
andst ar
ttoscrubashar dasIcan. Isi tthereand
thereissil
entbeforeIbutintotears.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
55] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t71

.
*
ANDI
SWA*

Me:
"ohmy,
youmadeamess"
Helookedatme.Hei
ssuchaquietbaby.Ilove
hi
m somuchandGodreal
lygi
ft
edmewi thhi
m.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Hemadeamess?"
Me:
"yes.Canyour
unwat
erf
orhi
m"
Iwi
pedhi
m.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"maybehehasar
unni
ngt
ummy"
Me:
"Iwi
llgetsomemedi
cat
ionf
orhi
m."
Hecomesandst
andsbehi
ndmeandwr
apshi
s
ar
msaroundme.
Ntet
hel
elo:
"itmakesmehappyt
oseeyout
his
happy"
Me:
"Iam happy"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iam happyt
oo."
Me:
"thewat
ermyl
ove"
Nt
ethel
elo'
:
"oksugarpl
um."
Me:
"ar
ethebagsi
nthecaral
ready?"
WearegoingtoUMzimkhuluf
orDi
naandZamani'
s
t
radi
ti
onalweddi
ngtomorrow.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"yes"
Me:
"ok,
l
etmebat
hthi
sone."
It
ookthebabyi
ntomyar
msaf
terIwasdone
wi
ll
inghi
m..
.

*
DINA*

Me:
"wegotever
ythi
ng?"
Zamani:
"yes"
Me:
"Ok"
Ibuckl
edt
heki
dsupatt
hebackandcl
osedt
he
door.
Zamani:
"Cal
m downMr
s"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowmuchaboutyourcul
tur
e"
Zamani:
"wewi
llj
ustgowi
tht
hef
low"
Me:
"ok"
Inoddedandweshar
edaper
kbef
oreIgoti
nthe
car.Myphoner
angandi
twasAndi
swa.
Andi
swa:"ar
eyouguysmovi
ngsowecoul
dmove
aswell?"
Me:
"yes"
Andi
swa:
"okIwi
llt
ellNt
ethel
elo.Meetyouhome"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Shehungup.Zamanihel
dmyhand.
Zamani:
"Cal
m down.
Me:
"Ij
usthopeever
ythi
nggoeswel
l"
Zamani:
"itwi
ll"
Inoddedandhest
art
edt
hecar
.Ibuckl
edup.I
washappyandexci
tedandscar
edatt
hesamet
ime.
.
.

.
*ANDI
SWA*

Let
ho:
"Wher
edi
dthel
it
tl
ebabycomef
rom ?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"wher
eyoucamef
rom "
Shenodded.Iopenedapacketofchi
psandgavei
t
tot
hem .
Me:
"Don'
tfeedt
hebabyanyt
hing.Eatt
hechi
ps"
Zi
khal
i:'
Whenwi
llhegr
owup?"
Me;
"Inayear
sti
me"
Theyarethechips.It
urnedbackt
olookatthem
andIthenlookedatmyselfi
nthemir
rorandfi
xed
thedoek.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"wear
est
il
labi
tfarf
rom home"
Me:
"Ineedt
opr
epar
e."
Heshookhisheadandf ocusedontheroad.I
wrappedmyheadandt ookmyphoneandwent
ontoFacebookscr
oll
ingthroughmyti
mel i
ne.
Let
ho:
"Mommyt
hebabyhaswhi
test
uff"
It
urnedar
oundandhepukedt
hemi
lk.
Me:
"gi
vemet
het
owel"
Shetakesi
toutoft
hebabybagandIwi
pedhi
m.
HelookedatmeandIsmil
ed.
Let
ho:
"Hedoesn'
twanthi
sfood?"
Me:
"it
'swhatbabi
esdo."
Shenods.If
ini
shedwi
pinghi
sface.
Mw:
"whoi
sacut
eboy?
"
Zi
khal
i:"Iam "
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iseej
eal
ousy"
Il
augh.
Me:
"youar
ebot
hcut
e"
Isatbackdownandf
acedt
hef
rontput
ti
ngonmy
seatbel
t.
.
.

*
SIYAMTHANDA*
Me:
"Si
yanda!
"
Her
ushedt
omef
rom pl
ayi
ngwi
tht
heki
ds.
Ayanda:
"youpackedt
oomanybags."
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Hehekdmywai t
.Weallwai
tedandNt
ethel
elo
par
kedthecarandAndi
swagotoutwi
ththeki
ds.
Si
yanda:
"Zi
khal
i!"
Herantohi
scousinsandwesmi l
ed.Wewerejust
wai
tingf
ort
helovelycoupl
ethatwecameher
efor.
Andi
swa:
"theyhaven'
tar
ri
ved?"
Me:
"notasyet
."
Lisa:'si
zesinxanwengempel
a(wewoul
dget
thir
styreal
ly)"
Me:
"youcansayt
hatagai
n"
Ayanda:
"youar
eteachi
ngmywi
febadt
hings"
Me:
"yout
aughtme"
Li
sa:
"tel
lhi
m"
Andi
swa:
"Yhocant
heycomet
uu"
Wel
aughed.
Ma:
"nababeza(her
etheycome)"
Thecarcame.Weul ul
atedwai
ti
ngfori
ttopar
k.It
wasli
keapar ade.Moneywasthr
ownatDinawhi
le
shegotoutandshesmiledwhi
lebl
ushi
ngaswell
.
Unami:
"Kwakuhl
ekwet
hu!"
Wel aughed.Thenst artedsi
ngingwhil
etaki
ngher
i
nsi detot heRondaval.Theyhavetostartt
here.We
allstartedther
einfor
mi ngtheancest
orsofthe
event sthatwil
lhappent ommorow.Itwaspacked
offtheKhumal ofamil
yasweal lsatdown.
Baba:
"Goandf
etchagoat"
Theboysnodded.
Baba:
"Bot
hofyoukneelher
ewi
tht
heki
ds"
Theybothdidtakingoffthei
rshoes.Thegoatwas
broughtinandululat
ingstar
ted.Itwast
wogoats.
Wesati nsil
ence.
Baba:
"uphi
u-(wher
eis?)
"
Asangomawal
kedi
nsi
de.
Baba:
"Mf
wet
hu."
Wedon'
tknowhi
m.
Him:"ngekewabat hol
aabantwanaki
sskuhlawule
bonkelabafanangodadewenu.Ukuvimbele
i
sbelethongobaut hukuthel
e(Youwon'tgetki
ds
unti
ltheseKhumal omencl eanser
egar
dingyour
si
ster,sheisblockingyourwombbecauseshei s
angry)"
Il
ookedatAyanda.
Mw:
"whatdi
dy'
al
ldo?"
Ever
yonewasi
nshock.
Him:"i
fyoudon'
tdothat
.Thi
ngswi
llgobad
bet
weenthebothofyou"
Di
nacr
iedandst
oodupwal
kingout
.
Zamani:
"Baby!"
Hehandedthebabyt
omeandr
ushedof
f.We
wer
eallshocked.
.
.
*
DINA*
Soall al
ongIthoughtIcan'
thaveki
dsonlyt
ofi
nd
outthatit'
sbecauseSinaisbl
ocki
ngmesomehow.
Idon'tunderst
and.Ifeelconf
usedandhurt
.
Zamani:
"Di
na"
Me:
"Thi
sisamess"
Heengul
fsmei
nahug.
Zamani:
"it
'sok.Wewi
llsor
titout"
Me:
"whyi
sshepuni
shi
ngme.?"
Zamani:
"Idon'
tknowbabybutwewi
llf
ixi
t"
Isni
ff
ed.
Me:
"ithur
ts."
I
tdoes.Thepai
nIwentt
hrough.Shewant
sust
o
br
eakupf
rom t
hest
art
.
.
.
*
UNATHI*

Me:
"Fi
nishyourf
oodsoyoucanhavei
cecr
eam "
Iwentt
oopent
hedoor
.
Me:
"Ma"
IhuggedherandKhensaniwasbehi
ndher
.
Khensani:
"Iam her
etohel
pwi
tht
hepr
epar
ati
ons"
Me:
"thankyou.Ihavepr
epar
edyourr
oom ma"
Anel
e:"Gogo"
Hegotoffthecouchandr
ant
owar
dsherandshe
huggedhim.
Ma:
"howi
sgogo'
schi
ld?"
Anel
e:"good"
Ma:
"wher
eisLi
ndani?"
Me:
"hewentoutabi
t,hewi
llbeback"
Ma:
"ok"
Khensani:
"canwegett
hebedr
oom pl
ease?
"
Me:
"ohsur
ecome."
Ihel
pedt
hem wi
tht
hebagsandwal
kedt
othe
bedr
oom.
.
.
*
NTAMBO*
Ihaven'
tsmokedi nawhi
le.It'
sbeenl
ongsinceI
rel
axedmyselfwithaci
garet
te,Il
ookati
tasItake
apuffandleanbackonthecarandwatchthe
soccerboysplayi
ngatni
ght.
Razor:
"what
'sup?"
It
ookapuf
fandl
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"KhenandIusedt
obehappy"
Razor:
"whathappened?"
Me:
"Mypar
ent
sissue.Shewant
stogetmar
ri
ed
oneday"
Razor:
"andyoudon'
t.Haveyout
oldher?"
Me:"yeah.Bit
s,shesaidshedoesn'
tmindusnot
get
ti
ngmar ri
edbutIknowshewant st
o"
Razor:
"mmmh"
Me:"shei
sevenlaughi
ngwhi
lelooki
ngather
phone.It
hinkshef
oundanot
hermanwhowoul d
putari
ngonher"
Razor:
"That
'st
ense"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhatt
odo"
Razor:
"Don'
tlabelal
lmar
ri
agesbad.I
smi
nebad?
"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"No"
Razor:
"Ifyouknowwhatyouwanti
nyourwoman
andtotr
eatherri
ghtshewi
lldot
hesame.I
twi
ll
work.LookatmeandUnathi"
It
ookapuf
f.
Me:
"IhearyouGazi
(bl
ood)
"
Il
etthebr
eezecal
m mei
nthepr
ocess.Maybe
Razori
sri
ght.
.
.

Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
55] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t72

SEASONFI
NALLY
.
*
SESETHU*
Me:
"ist
her
est
il
labot
tl
eofbot
tl
edwat
er?"
Kau:
"thef
ri
dge"
Hel
ookedatmeashet
ookhi
scarkeys.Iwentt
o
theki
tchenandt
ool
edbot
tl
edwat
er.If
elt
nauseated.
Kau:
"ar
eyouok?"
Mw:
'yesbabyIam."
Kau:
'Ar
eyousur
e?"
Idr
ankt
hewat
erandwentbackt
ohi
m."
Me:
"Iam f
ine.Let
'sgo"
Kau:
'i
fanyt
hing.
..
"
Me:
"Iam sur
e"
Henodded.It
ookmybagandapr
on.
Me:
"come"
Iwal
kedoutoft
hehousegoi
ngt
othecar
.
.
*
DINA*
Iwokeupt othesunpenetr
ati
ngmyeyes.Isaw
Siyamthandahol
dingacupofcoff
eeandshesat
nexttome.Ididn'tsl
eepwit
hZamanit
histi
me.
Si
ya:
"Ibr
oughtcover"
Me:
"thanks"
It
ooki
t.
Si
ya:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:
"sadandconf
usedandhappy"
Shesmi
led.
Si
ya:"under
standabl
e.Putyourhappyemoti
onf
ir
st.
Youaregett
ingmarri
edtothemanyoul ove"
Ismi
le.
Si
ya:
"ever
ythi
ngwi
llbef
ine."
Me:
"Il
ovemyki
dssomuch"
Si
ya:"Iknowthatandseet
hat
.Youar
ea
wonderf
ulper
sonDi na"
Me:
"yout
hink?"
Si
ya:
"IknowsoandZamaniIl
uckyt
ohaveyou"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"thankyou.Ineededt
oheart
hat"
Si
ya:
"wegotyouok?"
Inodded.
Si
ya:
"wel
comet
otheKhumal
oWi
vescl
ub"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"ist
her
eevenone?"
Si
ya:
"no.Ij
ustmadet
hatup"
Il
aughed.
Si
ya:
"nowputt
hatsmi
leon.I
t'
sbeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"Iwi
ll"
.
.
.

*
UNATHI*
Todayisthelobol
anegoti
ati
onsforMah, Iam
happyforherandhopethatever
ythinggoeswell
.I
wokeupear l
yandKhensanijoi
nedmeear lysowe
canprepareandcookearl
y.Mahsl epthereaswell
i
ntheguestr
oom.
Me:
"don'
tmessup"
Razor:
"youshoul
dbet
ell
ingNt
ambot
hat
"
Me:
"It
oldKhensanit
otel
lhi
m"
Hehol
dsmywai
st.
Razor:
"thi
sremi
ndsmeofus"
Ismi
ledandt
ouchedhi
scheek.
Razor:
"Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndgoi
ngt
hroughever
ythi
ng
agai
n."
Me:
"met
oo"
Razor:"(per
ksmyl
i
ps)ourl
ovest
oryi
smy
favour
ite"
Ibl
ushed.
Me:
"lookatyoubei
ngcheesy"
Razor:
"(chuckl
e)Sowear
edoi
ngt
his?"
Me:
"oksor
ry.Thi
sismyf
avour
it
easwel
l"
Weshar
edaki
ss.
Me:
"Il
oveyouNgomane"
Razor:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.Iwentt
oopenand
i
twasKhensani.
Khensani:
"Set
hui
sher
e"
Me:
"ohok"
Itooktheapr
onof
fthebedandIwal
kedoutoft
he
bedroom.
Seset
hu:
"Imi
ghtgetachancet
oday"
Wel
aughed.
Me:
"hey"
Weshar
edahug.
Kau:
"Iwi
llki
llsomeone"
Seset
hu:
"Iam pl
ayi
ngandyouknowt
hat"
Nt
ambo:
"Howf
arar
ethey?"
Mawal
kedi
n."
Ma:
"theyar
eaf
ewmi
nut
esaway"
Henodded.
Ma:
"ber
easonabl
epl
ease."
Seset
hu:
"canIgoanddr
inkwat
er?"
Inodded.
Me:
"comet
hisway"
Kau:
"ar
eyouok?"
Seset
hu:
"Ij
ustf
eel
nauseat
ed"
Me:
"come."
Itookherhandandwewal
kedt
otheki
tchen.She
faint
ed.
Me:
"Set
hu!"
Ever
yonegoti
ntheki
tchen.Shef
lappedhereyes
openandcl
osed.
Set
hu:
"Iam f
ine"
Kau:
"Iam notr
iski
ng.Come"
Hepi
ckedherup.
Me:
"becar
eful"
Theywàl
kedout
.
Me:
"Ihopet
hebabyi
sok"
Ma:
"shewi
llbef
ine.Kau'
smot
herwentt
hrough
t
hesamewi
thhim"
Me:
"oh"
Wehear
dnoi
secomi
ngf
rom out
side.
Khensani:
"theyar
eher
e"
Wemovedt
othebedr
ooms.

.
.
*
ANDI
SWA*
Whatamessfrom yest
erday.Wearel
eftwit
h
quest
ionmar
ks.Iwonderwhattheydi
dt oDina'
s
si
ster
.
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elo"
Igoldthebl
anket
swhil
elooki
ngathi
m gett
ing
dressed.Theyar
disbuzzi
ngandalr
eady
nei
ghbour
sar
eher
e.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"mmmh?"
Mw:
"whathappenedt
oDi
na'
ssi
ster?"
Hest
opswhathei
sdoi
ngt
hencar
ri
eson.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"let
'sl
eavei
t"
Me:
"Iwon'
t.I
t'
squest
ionabl
e"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa"
Me:
"Nt
ethel
elo"
Het
urnedt
ome.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Shewaski
ll
ed"
Me:
"bywho?"
Iputmyhandsonmywai
st.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youwi
llhat
eme"
Me:
"Tal
k"
Ntet
helel
o:"Zamani
andt
heot
her
sgotr
idofher
body."
Me:
"ohmyGodwhat!"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Li
sten.I
twascompl
icat
ed."
Me:
"how?
!"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"Shewasat
hreatt
oSi
yamt
handaand
Ayandasowehavet
ocut"
Me:
"Yho"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iwasn'
tevent
her
e"
Me:
"youknewabouti
t.Youal
ldi
d"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Andi
swa"
Me:
"Whati
fshef
indsoutandget
syoual
lar
rest
ed
"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"sheknows.Shef
oundoutonherown.
"
Me:
"let,
letmej
ustgooutandgetsomeai
r."
Nt
ethel
elo:
"ok,
Iwi
llt
akeSi
mphi
we"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Ki
ssmei
fyoust
il
lloveme"
Me:
"youknowIdo"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"butki
ssme"
Isi
ghedandl
eanedi
ntoki
sshi
m.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo."
Iwal
kedout
.Thi
siscl
oudi
ngmyhead.
.
.

*
UNATHI*
Ma:
"Ihopet
hoseboyswon'
tmessup"
Me:
'Theywon'
tmah"
Anel
e:"Mommy"
Me:
"come"
Itookhi
m andpl
acedhi
m onmyl
ap.Hel
aidhi
s
headonmychest.
Khensani:
"IhopeSet
hui
sfi
ne"
Me:
"met
oo,
Iwi
llcal
lherl
ater"
Ma:
"Kodwai
bhasiLaningal
oyamnt
wana?
(What
's
wi
tht
hebadl
uckwi
tht
hatchi
ld.)
"
Me:
"It
'spr
egnancycompl
icat
ions."
Khensani:
"Shame."
Makeepsonl
ooki
ngoutoft
hewi
ndow.
Me:
"Youl
ookl
ikeat
eenager
."
Khensani:
"Yes"
Welaughed.IkissedAnel
e'sforehead.Ther
e
wasaknockonthedoorandi topened.Ntambo
wal
kedinwithRazor.
Ma:
"What
'swr
ong?"
Nt
ambo:
'ever
ythi
ngwentok"
Khensani:
'youdi
dn'
tgohar
dont
hem "
Nt
ambo:
"whoam I?"
Ma:
"Fezi
le"
Ipl
acedAnel
eont
hebed.
Me:
"Let
'sgoanddi
shup"
Khensani:
"Ok"
Shest
oodupandwecongr
atul
atedMahbef
orewe
wal
kedof
ftogoanddi
shup.
.
.

*
SESETHU*

"Ther
eist
hel
it
tl
ebundl
eofhappi
ness"
Ismi
ledwhi
lel
ooki
ngatt
hemoni
tor
.
Kau:
"canwet
ellt
hegender?"
Dr:"Notyet
.Twomont
hst
henyouwi
llknowt
he
gender"
Me:
"Iam exci
ted"
Hechuckl
ed.
Kau:
"yeah"
Dr:
"Ever
ythi
ngseemsok,
thebabyi
sgoodsof
ar"
Me:
"thankyou"
Kau:
"Sousbei
ngi
nti
mat
edoesn'
taf
fectt
hebaby?
"
Me:
"Kau!"
Dr:
"No,
youmaycar
ryon"
Kau:
"that
'sgoodt
ohear"
Me:
"ohmyGod."
Heremovest
hescannerandKauwi
pest
hegeland
hel
pedmeoutofthebed.
Kau:
"Idon'
tknowwhatyouseei
namal
eGynae"
Me:
"Ial
wayspr
efer
redoneandbesi
deshei
sol
d."
Kau:"Iam questi
oninghisprof
essi
on.Whywantt
o
workaroundVirgi
nia'
salltheti
me'
Il
augh.
Me:
"Yhobaby"
Kau:
"ser
iousl
y"
Me:
"it
'st
hel
oveoft
hej
ob"
Kau:
"hayi
."
Ihel
dhi
shandandhegavememybag.Wewentt
o
t
heDrandt
henaf
terwewal
kedout
.
Kau:
"Needanyt
hing?"
Me:
"No"
Kau:
"Doeshest
il
lbot
heryou?"
Me:
"No,
aft
ert
hatdayhehasnevercameby"
Kau:
"tel
lmei
fhecomes.Iwi
llsor
thi
m."
Me:"Iwil
ltel
lyou,weshoul
dbuyagi
ftf
orUnat
hi'
s
f
atherandFezil
e'
smother."
Kau:
"Whatdoyouhavei
nmi
nd?"
Me:"Idon'
tknow.Wewi
llsee.Maybel
ikeani
ce
bl
anket
."
Kau:
"anel
ect
ri
cone"
Hi
sphoner
ingsandheanswer
s.
Kau:
"Shosho"
Hewassi
lent
.
Kau:"weareonourwayt
her
e.Ever
ythi
ngi
s
checkedout"
Iopent
hecardoor
.
Kau:
"wear
eonourway."
Hehungup.
Me:
"Unat
hi?"
Kau:
"Ever
ythi
ngwentwel
l.
Wegoti
nthecarbef
orehedr
oveof
f.
.
.

*
THAPELO*

Iwaslayingonmybed.Iam donewr itt

ingandi
wastalkingtoLee- annonwhatsapp.Shesaid
somethingaboutgoi ngt
ostudyandIletherbe.
Sheisingr ade10of cause.Iwentthroughmy
gal
ler
yandst umbl eduponLesedi
'spi
cturesand
someofmypi ct
ureswi t
hBahumi. Imessedup
andshecan' tbef oundbecauseofme.
_
___
___
_
Me:
"Humi"
ShelookedupatmeandIwal kedinfurt
herint
oher
bedroom.Sheclosedherschoolbooks.Isatatt
he
edge.
Me:
"weneedt
otal
k"
Bahumi:
"Ok"
Shecamecl
oser
.
Me:
"St
ayst
il
l"
Bahumi:
"What
'swr
ong?
"
Il
ookedather
.
Me:
"Wecan'
tdot
hisanymor
e"
Bahumi:
"whatdoyoumean?"
Me:
"Il
ikesomeoneel
se"
Shekeptqui
etf
oramoment
.
Bahumi:
"Thapel
o"
Ist
oodup.
Me:
"Wecan'
tdoMer
cyl
iket
hat"
Bahumi:
"Youmademel
oveyouThapel
o"
Me:
"Iknow.Iam sor
ry"
Bahumi:
"pl
easel
eave"
Me:
"Iam sor
ry"
Iwal
kedoutofherbedr
oom andl
efthersobbi
ng.
_
___
___
___
_
Isi
ghedandl
ookedatherpi
ctur
e.
Me:
"Iam sor
ry.
Ibi
tmybot t
om l
ip.Thengr
oanedthr
owingmy
phoneonthepil
low.Thengrabbedmybackpack
andwalkedoutofmyroom wit
htwoenvel
opes.
.
.

Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
55] :~Unexpect
edl
y~
I
nser
t73

SEASONFI
NALLY

*
BAHUMI*
Me:
"can'
tIhaveanysoci
alnet
wor
ks.?"
Iact
ual
lywant
edt
ocont
actoneoft
hef
ami
ly
members.
Hi
m:"no"
Me:
"ok."
Hel ookedatme. Iusedaf akenameandloggedin
onInstagr am andsearchedforThapel
o.Ifound
him andhi sbiobrokeme. Heputher .Ihave
neverbeenputonhi sbio.Iswal l
owedandtri
ed
preventingthetearsandIsawhepost edapicture
ofthem t oget
her.Notonebutt hree.Myheartjust
shattered.Maybehedoesn' tneedus.Maybei t
's
besttost ayoutofthei
rlivesandlethi
m car
ryon
withhis.
Hi
m:"ar
eyouok?"
Idi
vedt
owar
dshi
m andhehuggedme.Ij
ustcr
ied.
Hi
m:"What
'swr
ong?"
Ikeptoncr
ying.If
eel
sost
upi
dforl
ovi
ngand
beli
evi
nghi
m.
Hi
m:"i
t'
sokUchei
sher
e"
Icar
ri
edoncr
ying.
.
.

*
UNATHI*
Me:
"Pl
easecanyoupasst
hatpl
ate"
ShegavemeaplateandIputmyhandsi
nmy
apr
onandtookoutmyphoneandanswer
ed.
Me:
"BabuNgomane"
Razor:
"Il
iket
hesoundoft
hat
."
Me:
"that
'swhoyouar
e"
Razor:
"Thepast
ori
saboutt
oleave"
Me:"areyousur
ether
eisnor
elat
ionbet
weenyou
andthepast
or?"
Razor:
"Ishoul
dbeaski
ngyout
hat"
Me:
"Ok,
okIhearyout
hen.Iam comi
ng"
Ihungup.
Me:
"Iam goi
ngout
sideabi
t."
Khensani:
"ok.Iwi
llpackt
hedi
shesaway"
Me:
"per
fect"
IwalkedoutandwenttowhereRazorisst
anding
withthepast
orandsoasMamt hombeni.The
Lobolanegot
iat
ionswentver
ywellandIam happy
forthem.
Past
or:
"'
mydaught
er"
Me:"Nceku(manofGod)
"
Past
or:"Iam aboutt
odepar
tur
e.Thankyouf
or
thewonderf
ulfood"
Nt
ambo:
"thankyouf
orcomi
ng"
Ma:
"yes"
Past
or:
"Iam j
usthel
ping.I
twaswonder
ful
."
Razor:
"wewi
llwal
kyout
oyourcar"
Me:
"yes"
Iwi
pedmyhandsandr azort
ookmyhands.They
sai
dthei
rgoodbyesandwewalkedhi
m out
.
Past
or:
"thankyou"
Wenoddedandhegoti
nhiscarandwewat
ched
hi
m dr
iveof
f.Itur
nedt
orazor.
Me:
"Ihaven'
tseenyoual
lday"
Razor:
"Imi
ssedyou"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Razor:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo.
.
.
*
DINA*
Andi
swa:
"Youl
ookamazi
ng"
Me:
"Thankyou"
IwasdressedinmyZulutradi
tionalatti
re.My
makeupwasdoneandIwashappyt hatIwoul
d
fi
nal
lybeMr sKhumal
o, t
radit
ionall
yt henl
awful
ly.
Li
sawalkedin.
Li
sa:
"Oouhmakehi
m dr
opsi
s"
Igi
ggl
ed.
Me:
"Wher
ear
etheki
ds?"
Andi
swa:
"wi
tht
hei
rgr
andmot
her
's."
Li
sa:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:"Iam sadandhappy.Ican'
tbel
ieveaper
son
whohaspassedoncandot hat"
Andi
swa: "
atl
eastacl
eansi
ngcer
emonycanbe
doneforyoutohaveki
ds"
Me:
"yeah"
Lisa:
"Thenaf
teryoucanhaveeachot
herl
ike
rabbi
ts."
Me:
"Yho"
Welaughed.Weheardsi
ngingfr
om outsi
deandi
t
waswomenwalki
ngtowardstheroom Iam i
n.
Me:
"Iam ner
vous"
Andi
swa:
"Goodl
uck"
Me:
"Thankyou"
Ibreathedoutandpl ayedwi t
hmyr ing.Theygoti n
andtookmeawayt owher eZamaniandal lthe
othersar e,Thecer
emonyst art
ed.Iwascl ueless
butwit habitofgui
dancef rom Andiswaand
Siyamt handatheceremonywasdonewel lforme, I
wassupposedt omar kmyspearI nfrontofZamani
andal soDanceaswel lofwhichIcan'tbuti twas
beautiful
.Iam nowMr sKhumal ot
raditi
onal l
y.
.
.
*
MERCY*
"Mer
cy"
It
urnedar
oundandl
ookedathi
m andhewal
ked
cl
oseri
nhol
dingt
woenvel
opes.
Thapel
o:"Theschoolsai
dIshoul
dgi
vet
hist
oyou"
Hegavei
ttome.
Me:
"whatar
ethey?"
Iputt hebookIam readi
ngdownandsoasmy
glassofwi ne. Thekidshaven'
tar
ri
vedasyetand
theywi l
larri
vewit
hSandile.Theyaregoi
ngtovisi
t
theirgrandmother
.
Thapel
o:"r
epor
ts"
Il
ookedathim andopenedthem .Ist
art
edwi
thhi
s
andlookedati
t.Hesatnexttome.
Me:
",
Youdi
dwel
l.62%onMat
hs."
Thapel
o:"i
twaswhi
ppi
ngme.Iam notgoodi
n
maths"
Me:
"youcandoMat
hsl
itnextyear
."
Thapel
o:"ok"
Me:
"It
'swonder
ful
."
Hesmi
ledl
ooki
ngatme.
Thapel
o:"youknowIl
oveyouandiam sor
ry."
Ihuggedhi
m.
Me:
"Il
oveyou.Neverdoubtt
hat
.Ok?"
Thapel
o:"Ok"
Webr okethehugandItookthesecondoneandit
belongedt oBahumi.Iswallowedandopenedit
andl ookedatit
,asmil
ef or
medonmyf aceand
tearsstreameddownmycheek.Hehuggedme.
Thapel
o:"Mer
cy"
Isni
ff
ed.
Me:
"shepassed"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Me:"Shedi
dn'
tdowel
lineconomi
cmanagement
sci
ence"
Thapel
o:"Shewasgonebef
oreshecoul
dwr
it
ethat
exam"
Me:
"Ohgod.Iwi
shIwasmor
evi
gil
antonher
."
Thapel
o:"Iam sor
ry"
Me:
"it
'sok."
Il
ookedatherr
epor
t.Shei
sver
ysmar
t.
Me:
"Icoul
dhavedonemor
e"
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

Hi
m:"Shhh"
Il
ookathi
m hushi
ngLesedi
.
Me:
"her
eist
hemedi
cat
ion"
Hi
m:"shei
sheat
ingup,
it'
sfever"
Me:
"wi
llshebeok?"
Hi
m:"weshewi
llbe"
Me:
"ok"
Ishookthebottl
eandthenpouredthemedicati
oni
n
ali
ttl
eteaspoon.Ifedherandshekeptoncr yi
ng.
Aft
erIwasdone.Hel aidheronhischestand
hushedher.Ilookedatt
hem.
Hi
m:"Onyemer
enwanebeakwa.
Egbemer
enwanebeakwa.
Wet
auzi
zawet
aose.
Wet
angaj
inkur
uof
e.
Umunnunuar
achaya.
Eh!Eh!amaghi
m onyeowu.
(Whomademybabycr
y.
Hawkmademybabycr
y.
Br
ingl
eafandpepper
.
Br
ingspoonl
etmecol
lectsoup.
Bi
rdshavef
ini
shed.
Eh!Eh!Idon'
tknow)
"
Shecal
meddownwhi
lehesangt
hat
.
Hi
m:"Noonei
shur
ti
ngyou"
Il
ookedatt
hem.Hel
ookedatmeandIl
ooked
away.
.
.
*
SESETHU*

Weboughtsomethi
ngbef
oregoi
ngback.Iwas
f
eel
ingabitok.
Me:
"wesur
edogetf
ri
ght
swi
thhi
m"
Kau:
"yeah"
Hehol
dsmyhand.
Kau:
"Il
oveyouok?"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Ismil
ed.Wegotbackatt
hehouseandgotout
.
Ther
ewasacrowdbutitwasdyingdown.We
madeourwayi
nsideandKhensanir
ushedt
ous.
Khensani:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Me:
"Iam f
eel
ingwel
l,ok"
Khensani:
"wewer
esowor
ri
ed."
Me:
"don'
tbe."
Unat
hipeakedherheadf
rom t
heki
tchen.
Unat
hi:
"Set
huar
eyouok?"
Me:
"Iam."
Unat
hi:
"yourf
oodi
sready"
Kau:
"comel
et'
sgetyoueat
ing."
Wewentt
otheki
tchen.
.
.
*
WENDY*

"Angi
hlanyi,
Angi
hlanyimi
na(Iam notcr
azy,
Iam
notcr
azy) "
Isai
dpacingupanddown.Igroanedandki
cked
thechai
randtear
slef
tmyeyes.
Me:
'Razor!"
Iopenedthedoorr oughl
yandIwal kedout.Ifeel
l
ikeIam loosingitandIam bl
owingupnow. I
walkedthroughtheshackspushingeveryoneone
whowasi nmyway.Ir andownt hemainr oad
cryi
ng.Theirimageofbeingtogetherwashaunt i
ng
me.
Me:
"Iam notcr
azy!"
Ikeptonr
unni
ng.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
56] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t74
SEASONFI
NALLY

*
KHENSANI*
Ma:
"t
hankyouf
ort
oday"
Me:
"youar
ewel
comemah.Iam happyf
oryou"
Shehel
dmyhands.
Ma:
"Canwet
alk?"
Inodded,
shel
edmet
otheki
tchen."
Ma:
"howar
eyouandFezi
le?"
Me:
"wear
egood"
Ma:
"Real
ly?"
Inodded.
Ma:
"Khensani"
Me:
'Ma"
Ma:
"Icanseei
tinyoureyes"
Me:
"Ihavet
ri
edandaccept
ed."
Ma:
"ohNkosiyam "
"OhKhen"
Il
ookedbehi
ndmah.
Nt
ambo:
"maam Idi
stur
bingsomet
hing?"
Ma:
"No,
Ijustwant
edt
othankher"
Nt
ambo:
"ok"
Ma:
"Iwi
llgoandl
ookf
orAnel
einhi
sroom "
Shehel
dmyhandst
henlett
he!Gobefor
ewaki
ng
offsmi
li
ng.Nt
ambost
oodinfrontofme.
Nt
ambo:
"ar
eyouok?"
Me:
"yes"
Ismi
led.Hesi
ghed.
Nt
ambo:
"Khensani"
Me:
"mmmh?"
Hesi
ghedagai
n.
Nt
ambo:
"It
alkedt
oSomeoneyest
erday."
Inoddedencour
agi
nghi
mtocar
ryon.Hehel
dmy
hands.
Nt
ambo:
"andhemademer
eal
izesomet
hing"
Me:
"what?"
Ntambo: "thatnotallmarr
iagesarelikemymot her
andFat her
's.Hemademeseehowgoodhi s
mar r
iageistohim andthatchangedt hingsand
perspecti
vesIhadt owardsmar r
iage."
Me:
"oh"
Nt
ambo: "RazorandUnathi
'smar
ri
ageisso
wonder
fulandIbeli
eveourswoul
dbethesame"
Me:
"Huh?"
Ntambo:"Iwouldl
ivetomar
ryyouwhent
het
ime
comes.Wholehear
tedl
y"
Me:
"real
ly?"
Nt
ambo:
"real
ly,
Iam notl
ikemyf
ather
."
Ismi
led.
Me:
"Iam gl
ad."
Heper
kedmyl
ips.
Nt
ambo:
"Il
oveyou"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
.
.
*
SESETHU*
Itwasgett
ingdar kbutthewar
m ai
rdidn'
tchaseus
awayfrom theoutside.Weweresi
tti
ngattheback
yardwit
hot herneighbour
swhowerestil
ldr
inki
ng.
IfedKausomef oodandhechuckl
edand
swall
owed.
Me:
"what?
"
Kau:
"youar
ebabyi
ngme"
Me:
"isi
twr
ong?
"
Kau:
"no"
Me:
"comeeatup"
If
edhi
m agai
nandat
easwel
l.
Kau:
"Iwi
shmom di
edknowi
ngyouar
eexpect
ing"
Me:"Iam sur
esheknowsandshel
ovesyouso
much"
Hesi
ghed.
Me:
"Ever
ythi
ngwi
llbeok"
Kau:
"yeah.Wi
thyou,
Iam copi
ng"
Ismi
led.
Me:
"Iam gl
ad."
It
ookanot
herspoonf
ull.
Me:
"comeeat"
Hechuckl
edandIf
edhi
m.
.
.
*MERCY*

Sandi
le:
"howar
eyouf
eel
ing?"
Igoti
nbedandl
aidonhi
schest
.
Me:
"Iam j
ustwonder
ingi
ftheyar
eok,
ift
heyar
e
f
ed,
safe?"
Sandi
le:
"Iam sor
ryf
ornotf
indi
ngt
hem sooner
."
Me:
"it
'smyf
aul
t.Ishoul
dn'
thavel
ethergo"
Sandi
le:
"noi
t'
snotbabe.Youdi
dnot
hingwr
ong"
Isi
ghed.
Me:
"Shepassedsowe'
l
l"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Me:
"Shehadabr
ightf
utur
eaheadofher
.Now.
..
."
Sandi
le:
"Shhh"
Isobbedonhi
schest
Sandi
le:
"Iam sor
rybaby"
.
.
*DI
NA*
"
Uthandol
waminawe,
Olwet
husobabi
li
Umunt
uwesi
that
huakaf
uneki
I
ndabazet
hul
ezo"
Ir
anmyf
ingert
hroughhi
shai
r.
Me:
"youl
ookhandsome"
Hesmi
led.
Zamani:
"Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"
Herperkedmyl
ipsaswemovedt
othesoundoft
he
music.
Zamani:
"Youar
eof
fi
cial
lyMr
sKhumal
o"
Me:
"It
'ssur
real"
Zamani:
"IloveyouDina.Withallthati
sinmeand
Ipr
omisetobeloyal,
fait
hfulandlovingti
lldeat
h
dousapart"
Me:
"Il
oveyout
ooZamani,
thankyouf
orl
ovi
ng
me"
Zamani:
"Thankyouf
orchoosi
ngme"
Weshar
eakissandhearsomeul
ulat
ing.I
woul
dn'
twanti
tanyot
herway.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*
"ar
eyouok?"
It
urnar
oundandLesedi
isl
ayi
ngonhi
schest
.Isi
t
upfr
om t
hebed.
Me:
"Iam f
ine"
Hi
m:"yougotmewor
ri
ed."
Me:
"Iam f
ine"
Isni
ff
ed.
Me:
"Ij
usthaveaheadache"
Hi
m:"Dr
inksomewat
er."
Inodded.
Hi
m:"I
t'
sgoi
ngt
obeokKandi"
Hei
sni
ce,
justt
hewr
ongage.Il
ight
lysmi
led.
Me:
"Howi
sshe?"
Him:"shehasbeensl
eepi
ngonmychestf
oran
hour"
Inodded.
Me:
"Iwantt
obat
h"
Il
ookedathi
m.
Hi
m: "youwi
llf
indusi
nthesameposi
ti
ondon'
t
wor
ry"
Ibreathedoutandnodded.Igotof fthebedand
wenttot hebathr oom , Iopenedt heshowerandI
str
ippedbef oreget t
ingi nsideandIbat hedmybody.
Ihadlostthewi lltoscr ubmybodyl ikebefore.Al
lI
knowi sthatIam at oyf oreveryonetopl aywit
h.
That'
swhatIam dest inedf or.Isli
ddownandI
cri
edmysel f, t
ryingt owasht hepainawaybuti t
keptoncomi ngst r
onger .Isobbedl ikeIhavenever
sobbedbef ore,it
'sli
keIl ostsomeonecl osetomy
heart.
.
.
*
MAMTHOMBENI*
Me:
"Anel
e"
Hei
sst
ari
ngatt
hewal
l.
Anel
e:"Ugogouyeza(gr
annyi
scomi
ng)
"
Me:
"huh?"
Hetur
nedtomeandhesatdownonthebedandhe
pl
ayedwi
thhi
stoys.Ij
ustobser
vedhi
m.
.
.
*
UNATHI
*
Wet ookawalktot
hetuckshopjustf
orol
dti
mes
sakeandboughtal
oli
popbeforewewalkedback.I
heldhi
shandasheheldmine.
Me:
"iam sot
ir
edIneedt
orest"
Razor
:"Iwi
llgi
veyouamessage"
Wewer
ereachi
nghomeandpeopl
ewer
est
il
lther
e.
Me:
"wear
esl
eepi
ngl
atet
oday"
Razor
:"Iwi
llr
emovet
hem"
Me:
"li
ndani!"
Razor:
"what?Youneedt
orest"
Me:
"thatdoesn'
tmeanchasepeopl
eaway"
Razor:
"Mywi
feneedssomebeaut
ysl
eep"
Il
aughedshaki
ngmyheadwhi
lesucki
ngmyl
oli
pop.
Ihear
dacrocki
ngsound.
"Kumnandiukubai
nina,
cream andchocol
ateneh
?(It
snicet
obeyouguys, cr
eam andchocolat
e)"
Iwasscar
edt
otur
nbutwebot
hdi
dandi
twas
Wendy.
Razor:
"Wendy"
Shewaspoi
nti
ngagunatus.
Wendy:"don'
tWendyme,Iam notf
all
ingf
iri
t
agai
nli
keIfel
lforyou"
Me:
"putt
hegundown"
Wendy:
"eyiVoet
sek!Fokofwena!"
Iswal
lowed.
Wendy:"(tear
y)Il
ovedandsupport
edyouRazor
andthenyougoandmar r
yher,tr
eatmeli
ke
not
hing!"
Razorst
eppedcl
oser
.
Razor:
"Gi
vemet
hegun"
Iwast
err
if
ied.Sheshookherhead.
Wendy:
"noWendy.Don'
tli
stent
ohi
m"
I
sshecr
azy.
Me:
"Ngomanebecar
eful
"
Razor:
"let
'st
alkWendy,
justgi
vemet
hegun"
Shepul
ledt
het
ri
ggert
hreet
imesandIscr
eamed.
Me:
"Li
ndani
!"
Hewentdown.
Me:
"Baby,
babypl
ease"
Peopl
ewer
enowal
armed.
Wendy:
"ohmyGodl
ookwhatyoumademedo!
"
"Shi
t!"
Nt
ambotookouthi
sgunasIhel
drazor.Sheshot
measwell
.Il
aidonther
oadandal
lIsawwere
bl
urr
yfi
gur
esofpeopler
unni
ngoff
.
Me:
"li
ndani"
Icl
osedmyeyes.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
09/
17,
16:
56] :~Unexpect
edl
y~

I
nser
t75
SEASONFI
NALLY

[
10YEARSLATER]

*
MERCY*
Me:
"Hai
boi
sanybodyhome!?
"
Theyallcamedownt hest
air
s.Yolandawas
carryi
ngherhockeysti
ckandtwobags.Thebal
l
rol
ledoutofherbaganddownt hest
air
s.
Yol
anda:
"oops"
Phi
la:
"Youshoul
dhavepl
ayedBasket
bal
lli
keme"
Yol
anda:
"ShutupIcanhumi
li
ateyouatschool"
Her
oll
edhi
seyes.
Me:
"Eyidon'
thumi
li
ateyourbr
other"
Phil
a: "pl
easet
ellher.Iam j
ustaj
uni
orandshei
s
abusingherheadgirlst
atus"
Yol
anda:
"Am not"
Me:
"somanybags"
Yol
anda:
"Books,
kit,
hockeyequi
pment"
Me:
"ifyoupassmat
ri
cthat
'sal
l"
Sandi
le:
"Yourmot
heri
sri
ght"
Hewal
keddownt
hest
air
sandweshar
edaper
k.
Yol
anda:
"ur
gh"
Me:
"mor
ningbaby"
Phi
la:
"Iguesswedon'
texi
st"
Yol
anda:
"Ri
ght"
Me:
"Goeat"
Theywal
kedt
otheki
tchen.
Me:
"Thapel
ocal
ledandsai
dtheyhavel
andedi
n
t
heUK"
Sandi
le:
"Oh,
howar
etheyset
tl
ing?"
Me:
"bet
ter
.It
'sj
ustayeart
hent
heycomeback"
Sandi
le:
"ri
ght
"
Ther
enevergoesadaywi
thoutmi
ssi
ngBahumior
l
esedi
.
Me:
"Iwonderi
ftheyar
eok"
Sandi
le:
"Babe"
Me:
"comeeat"
It
ookhi
slapt
opbagandwewalkedt
othekitchen.
Ourf
amil
yhasgrownsomuch.Ismi
lejustby
l
ooki
ngatt
hem.
.

*
ANDI
SWA*

"Shh"
Ifeelsomeonebei
ngont
opofme.Iopenmyeyes
andhesmi l
es.
Si
mphi
we:
"Shei
sawake"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"wher
eishercupcake?
"
Het
ooki
tandIsatupsmi
li
ngandhel
dhi
m.
Me:
"youar
eheavy"
Si
mphi
we:
"Happybi
rt
hdayMom "
Me:
"ohmybabyboy.Thankyou"
Iki
sshi
m al
loverhi
sface.
Si
mphi
we:
"mom,
Iam 10whatwi
llBi
ancasay?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"youhaveagi
rl
fr
iend?
"
Hebl
ushed.
Me:
"Di
sht
hem out"
Si
mphi
we:
"Wher
eisMom'
spr
esentdad?"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"wear
est
il
lonyou"
Si
mphi
we:
"shej
ustsi
tsnextt
ome"
Ntet
hel
elo:
"wewi
llbuyherchocol
atet
odayanda
r
ose"
Si
mphi
we:
"why?"
Me:
"yeahwhy?"
Ntet
helel
o:"mysonhast
oshoothi
sshotbef
orei
t'
s
t
oolate"
Il
aughed.
Me:
"ohno"
Si
mphi
we:ok,
letmegoandgetdr
essedt
hen"
hekissedmycheekandgotoffthebedandwalked
outofourbedr
oom.Ntethel
elokissedmyfor
ehead
andgavemeagi f
t.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Happybi
rt
hdaySugarpl
um "
Me:
"Thankyoubaby"
Iopenedi
tandi
twasasetofVol
kswagenkeys.
Me:
"youdi
dn'
thavet
o"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"Iwant
edt
o"
Me:
"Thankyoubaby"
Iper
kedhi
sli
ps.
Nt
ethel
elo:
"yoursonchosei
t."
Me:
"Her
eal
lyi
sthebestgi
ftyouhaveevergi
vent
o
me"
Nt
ethel
elo:
"met
oo"
Ismi
led.
.
.
*
THAPELO*
IgotaJobi ntheUKforayear.It
'sonl
yayear
contracti
nbuildi
ngadam ther
e.Iam aland
Surveyorandbestonerecommendedandt hat
's
whyIam her e.TheweatherhereisnotwhatIam
usedtobackathomebutIwi
llgetusedt
oit
.I
wipeherl
ipsandshesmil
esl
ookingatme.
"Whyar
eyousmi
li
ng?"
Me:
"Shewasf
edbydaddy"
sheki
ssedmycheek.
Lee-
ann:
"TJdoesn'
twantt
oeat"
Me:"Iwast
hinki
ngt
hatweshoul
dgoandget
gr
oceri
es"
Lee-ann:
"yesbabyweneedt
hem."
Irecentlygotmarr
iedtoLee-annlastweek.We
havetwobeaut i
ful2yearol
dt wi
nsofwhi char
eboy
andgir l
. TsogofatsoAndreaandThapeloAndrew.
Theyar emypr i
deandjoyandmyf amil
yseems
compl ete.
Lee-
ann:
"wearyourj
acket
s"
Igett
hem dr
essedupandthenItakeTJint
omy
armsandwewal koutl
ocki
ngtheapart
ment.
.
.
*
BAHUMI*

It
swei rdhowt hingsst artedoutandf indhappiness
att hel astpl aceexpect ed.AsIgr ewmy
relationshi pwi thUcheom st art
ed, thewayhel oved
andcar edf ormyki dsliket heywer ehisown
sof tenedme.IknewIwoul dnevergobackhome
sowhynotembr acet hel i
feIhavet hangi vi
ng
mysel fahear tache. Idi dn'tcheckanyof
Thapel o'ssoci alsandt ol dmysel ftoforgetabout
him andi thasbeenwor kingqui etwel lforme.I
studi edandobt ainedmydegr eei nPoliti
csatthe
Uni ver sit
yofCambr idge. Ihavesai dbef ore.Those
whohaveknownmeasBahumishedi edi nSouth
Af r
ica.Iam KandiAudeouson, Aged25, mot
her
of4andhasagr eathusband.Agei sjustanumber
, het reatsmel i
keaqueenandal wayskeepshi s
promi ses.Wer esidedt hisside10year sagoandI
l
ovel ivingher emor ethananyt hing.Mydaught ers
havegr ownsomuchandi tbringsjoyst omyhear t
toseet hem gr owing.Lesedi, shei squietyetloving
andcl
oset
oUchemor
ethanme.

Me:
"Love"
Uche:
"Baby"
Me:
"whatdoyouwantmet
ocookt
oni
ght?"
Uche:
"anyt
hing,
Idon'
tmi
nd"
Samant
ha:
"Canwehavespaghet
ti?
"
Mysecondbor
n,babygi
rl
.Thenaf
teri
tst
heboys.
Uche:
"wear
egonnabuyar
eadymadef
oryou"
Igi
ggl
e.Iknowhowmuchhehat esspaghet
tibut
onl
yeatsi
ttopl
easehi
spr
incess.
Me:
'Youhear?"
Shenods. Wegett othesupermarketandhe
parksthecarandwegetout .Wewal kinsideandI
startwi
ththefrui
tandvegetabl
esandt heydon't
seem pleased.Rightaft
erwegotandgett hemeat
andUchebuyswhatt heywant.
"CanIhavet
hesamet
ypeofmeet?"
It
urnar
oundandi
t'
slee-anni
fIam notmi
staken.
Me:
"Lee-
ann?
"
Shel
ooksatmet
hensqui
ntshereyesbef
oret
hey
popout
.
Lee-
ann:"BahumiohmyGod.Youl
ookpal
ebut
amazing"
Me:
"UKweat
her,
it'
sK.
..
."
"Babehaveyouf
oundwhatyouar
elooki
ngf
or?
"
Iwasn'
tready.Hehasgr ownandtheyhaveki
ds.
Heisevenmar r
iedbutIpushedever
ythi
ngasi
de.
Lee-
ann:
"yesl
ookwhatIf
ound"
Me:
"Ihavet
ogo.I
twasni
ceseei
ngyou"
Thapel
o:"Bahumi"
Me:
"Thapel
o"
"Mommybr
ingt
het
rol
ley"
Me:
"Bye"
Hehel
dmyar
m.
Thapel
o:"Wher
eisLesedi?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Iyankedmyarm andwalkedof
ftomyki ds.
SamanthaandLesedil
ookedatthem andwaved.
Uche:
"whatwast
hat?
"
Me:
"It
'st
hegi
rl
sfat
her"
Uche:
"Shoul
dIbewor
ri
ed?
"
Me:
"no,
Iwantnot
hingt
odowi
thhi
m.Let
'sgo"
"Bahumi"
Henoddedandwewal
kedof
f,i
gnor
inghi
m.
Me:
"Il
oveyouUche"
Hi
m:"Il
oveyout
ooKandi"
Hekissedmyforeheadandismi
ledIwoul
dn'
tleta
bi
ggerruinmyli
feonceagai
n.
.
.
*
SESETHU*
Dr
:"j
ustgi
vemeonebi
gpush"
Idi
dandIhear
dababycr
y.Iwast
ir
ed
Dr:
"it
'saboy"
Kau:
"youdi
dwel
lskat
"
Ismi
ledandl
ookedathi
m.Iwasf
eel
ingt
ir
ed.
Me:
"Iam t
ir
ed"
Kau:"r
est
."
Forthepastfewyear slif
ehadi tsupsanddowns
butwest uckbyeachot her.Ourf i
rstbor nchi
ldis
notLukhanyo's.Hecameoutl ooki
ngl ikekauand
wedidaDNAt estanditcameoutposi ti
ve. Aftera
yearwegotmar ri
edandi thasbeent hateversince.
Thisisoursecondbor nandIam t ir
ednow.Ican' t
anymore, nomor ekidstil
lfur
thernotice
.
.
*
DINA*
Zamani:
"Youwi
llf
all
"
Me:
"Ij
ustneedt
ocl
eant
hatspot"
Hepul
lsmedown.
Me:"ZamaniIam notevenshowi
ngbutyouar
e
f
ussy"
Zamani:
"Ihavet
obef
ussy"
Ir
oll
edmyeyes.Heki
ssedmyl
ips.
Me:"t
hisisgonnabeal
ongpr
egnancy.Ar
ethe
ki
dsatschool?"
Zamani:
"Yes"
Me:
"andyou?"
Zamani:
"Iam l
eavi
ngi
nanhour"
Me:
"ok"
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps.
Zamani:
"aqui
ckone?"
Me:
"Sur
emyl
ove"
Hepickedmeupandmovedt hechai
rwhereIwas
cl
eaningtheglassdoorandt
henwalkedupthe
st
air
s.Igiggled.
Me:
"Il
oveyou"
Zamani:
"Il
oveyout
oo"
Weki
ssed.
.
.
*
WENDY*

Icur
ledmyselfi
nacor
ner
.Ihavebeenisol
ated
si
nceyest
erdayandi
t'
sdr
ivi
ngmecr azy.
Me:
"Iam notcr
azygetmeoutofher
e!"
Iwascaughtandwasdiagnosedwit
hament al
i
ll
nessandwassaidtobedangertosoci
ety.I
di
dn'tgetl
ockedupi
nprisonbuti
nament al
i
nsti
tuti
on.
Me:
"getmeoutofher
e!!
"
Iscr
eam andhearvoi
ces.Icr
y.Icr
ymysel
f.
.
.
*
KHENSANI*

Thecargetsparkedandwel ookout
sidet
he
windowandwesi gh.Il ookatthebackandsmil
ed
atthesl
eepingangelinhercarseatthoughshehas
outgr
ownitbutstil
llovesit
.
Me:
"Comel
et'
sgo"
HenoddedandIki ssedhi scheekbef or
eget ti
ngout .
Het ookAsanel einhisar msandIt ookthewhi te
l
ill
ie'
sandIcl osedt hedoor .Hel ockedthecarand
wemetMahandUnat hi'
sfatherwi t
hthekidsas
wel l
. Lethowashol dingAnele'shandand
Nkanyeziaswel l.NkanyeziisFezi l
eandUnat hi'
s
youngerbr ot
her .Hei s9year sol d.Thisisa
miraclebabyi fIcouldsayandhei sper
fectlyfine.
Smar taswel lbutquiet.Wewal kinfur
therandwe
stopatourdest inati
on.Mahgi vesAnelethet wo
rosesandhecl earshisthroat.Lethoistryi
ngt o
holdherselftoday, shet akesoneaswel land
crouchednextt oherbr other.Anel eissurprising,
athisagehi swi sdom isquestionableevenIdon' t
havet
hatwi
sdom.
Anele:
"Unat
hiNgomane,Adaughter,Asi
ster,
A
fr
iend,Amot herandmostofal
lal
ovel
ywif
e"
Letho:
"Li
ndaniNgomane,ASon,Abrother,
A
fr
iend,Af
atherandmostofal
lagr
eathusband,
a
hero"
Wechuckl
edatt
hel
astpar
tandt
heyputt
her
oses
down.
Me:
"Comeher
ebaby"
Let
ho:
"Iam goodt
hist
imeaunt
y"
Iputt helil
li
e'
sdownaswel landNtambocrouched
i
nf ront. Wesi ghed, welookedatthei
rtombstones.
It'
sst i
llf
eelsfresh, wewer ehappyandthenext
thingwear esad.ItallhappenedUnexpect
edly.We
alljuststayinsilence.
Anel
e:"Happyanni
ver
sar
ymom anddad"
Ateardroppedfrom myeyesandIwi peditoff
qui
ckly.Itr
eall
ywast heirti
me.Razorwasshoton
hi
sleftsi
deandt hatwasi t,Twobul
let
spenetrated
hi
shear t
.Unathiwast akentothehospi
talbutthe
nextdayshedi
dn'
tmakeit
.Thosewer
etheworst
newswehaveeverhear
dinourli
ves,
sti
llar
e.
.
.
I
NANUNKNOWNPLACE.

Welookinsi
det hewaterbef
oreIlookathim andhe
hol
dsmyhand.Iwi shIcangivethem onelasthug
andtel
lthem howmuchIl ovethem.
"Thel
ighti
sshowi
ng.Wecango"
Weturnandit
'smymotherinl
aw.Razor'smother,
wecouldn'
tgototheot
hersi
debecauseLethowas
st
il
lhol
dingusbackandnowshehasl etgo.
Me:
"Il
oveyoubabi
es"
WeturnandIhugr
azorandheper
ksmyl
ipsbef
ore
Ismi
le.
Razor:
"ar
eyour
eady?"
Inod.Westartwal
kingt owar
dstheli
ght.Iwi
llbe
agoodangeli
nthei
rlives.ThatIpr
omise.Iam
UnathiNgomane, Iwil
lal
waysl oveandbemar r
ied
tomyhusband.Evendeat hcoul dn'
tdousapart
.I
bel
ieveourpurposeisful
fi
ledyetitwastooearl
yto
l
eaveearthbutwecan'tquest i
on.AllIknowisthat
Iwil
lmeetthem ontheotherside.Iwillmeetmy
chi
ldaswellont heotherside.
.
.
THEEND