IWASN'

TREADYFORYOU
PROLOGUE

"
Babedi
dyouhearwhatIsai
d?"
Me:
"Uhm whatdi
dyousay
?"
Muzi
:
"Yourmindi
ssof arawaymyl
ovewhati
s
wr
ong"Il
etoutashakybreat
h
Me"Idon'
tunderst
andbabewhyourpar
ent
s
doesn'
tunder
standthatwel
oveeachot
her
"
Muzi
:
"Theyareenemiesmyl ovet
hati
swhy
t
heydon'
tapproveourrel
ati
onshi
p"
Me:"Thi
sisunfai
r.Doyouperhapsknowwhat
happenedbetweenthem.Iaskedmymom but
sheisnottel
l
ingmeany t
hing.
"
Muz
i:
"Eysameher
ebaby
"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
olosey
ouMuzi
.Il
ovey
ouso
much"
Muz
i:
"Youwon'
tl
osememyl
oveIpr
omi
se"
Me:"
Wewi
l
lst
ayt
oget
hert
il
ldeat
hdousapar
t
r
ight
?"
Hesmi
l
edf
lashi
nghi
swhi
tet
eet
h
Muz
i:
"Ti
l
ldeat
hdousapar
t"
Weki
ssed.
"CUT!
"scr
eamedZolani"
Excel
l
entwor
kwel
l
done!
"Hesmil
edwidely
.
"Thati
tfort
oday
"Ev
ery
bodyst
art
edcl
ear
ing
out
Muzi
:"Wedidit
!"Hesqueez
edmei
ntoahug
andIgiggl
ed.
Me:
"Yeah"
"Mh.
Mh"someoneclear
edthei
rthr
oat
sbehi
nd
usmaki
ngMuzitoletgoofme
Muz
i:
"Uhm Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row"
Me:
"Okayby
e"Il
ookedatZol
ani
wit
hasmi
l
eon
myface
Zol
ani
:
"Youkeepaddi
ngont
her
easonswhyI
chosey ouf
ort
hischar
act
er.Youhav
edone
wellbaby"
Me:"Thanky
oumylove.Iwasthi
nki
ngwe
shoulddodi
nner
.Iwi
l
l cookyourf
avour
it
e"
Zol
ani
:"
Ili
ket
hesoundoft
hatar
eyoui
nthe
menu"Hesmir
ked
Me:
"Ohy
esl
overboy
"Ibi
temyl
i
pseduct
ivel
y
Zolani
:
"MmhIcan'
twai
t.Ihavefewthi
ngst
o
sortoutf
ir
stt
henIwi
ll
drivestr
aightt
oyou
baby"
Me:"Iwill
bewai ti
ng"Iwinkedathi
m and
sway edmyhi psasImademywayout .Iheard
him groaningbehind,
hewasl ooki
ngatmybi g
roundedboot y.Heisobsessedwithi
tandIlove
i
t.
Ifoundmybestfri
endLuci
awai
ti
ngatthe
parki
nglotnextt
omygreyVol
voconcept
coupe.
Luci
a:"
Resul
tsofr
idi
ngpeopl
e'
scar
s"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryokay
"
Luci
a:"
Whatt
ooky
ousol
ong"
Me:
"Iwashav
ingachatwi
thbae"
Sher
oll
edherey
est
hanwegoti
nthecar
.
Webuckl
edseatbel
tst
hanIst
art
edt
hecar
bef
oredr
ivi
ngout
.
Ipl
ayedKwest
a-Spi
ri
t
Luci
s:
"OhnotKwest
apl
easeIhavehadenough
now.Int
hemorni
ngi
twashim pl
ayi
ng"
Me:"Mxmy oudon'
tknowwhatr
ealmusici
s.
Kwestainj
ayegameI '
mtell
i
ngyou"Sheli
ft
ed
herhandsupinsurr
ender
.
Il
oveKwest
aandhi
smusic,
thenigga'
svoice
wetmypant
iesOhmydi
dIsaythatloud.
"
Uzongi
thol
'ekasi
lam kekekeke
Ngi
-chi
l
il
engi
phet
heezi
nyezam kekekeke
Zi
rhi
nil
esocov
akwasankekekeke
Socov
akwasan,
socov
akwasan
S'
j
imi
l
eawuphel
anezam s'
bekezel
e
S'
bekezel
e,s'
bekezel
e
Awumpi
ntshi
Spi
ri
t
Ungaphel
'umoy
asaan,
ntwanay
am
Spi
ri
t
Awngi
showena,
awngi
showena,
ntwanay
am
Spi
ri
t"
Isangal
ongal
lthewayt
oThembi
sa.
Luci
a:"
Bye"
sheopenedherdoor
Me:
"Younotgonnat
hankmef
ort
her
ide?
"
Luci
a:"
Thanky
ou"shef
akedasmi
l
e
Me:
"Whati
swrongwi
thy
ouhav
ebeenmoody
t
hewholeday
"
Luci
a:"
I'
m notmoody
"Shewal
kedoutand
sl
ammedmydoorshut .
Ok-
ayIdon'
tknowwhati
sherpr
obl
em andI
'
m
notgoi
ngt
obeghert
otal
ktome
LuciaandIhav ebeenfriendsfor10years.I
l
ov ehersomuchshei smor eli
keasistertome
sinceIonlyhaveabr ot
herwhoi s20y earsold.
Hei sdoinghisDramaticArtatDUT.Ni gga
foll
owedhi sbigsi
ster'
sfootst
eps.Mybr other
andIarel i
kesali
vaandt ongue,not
hingcan
separateus.
Any wayaf t
erIdr oppedLuci aIdrovest r
aightto
sandt ont hat'
swher eIli
ve.Traf
ficwashect i
cI
tell
y ouI tfuckingannoy ing.Iarr
ivedatmy
placeandwentst r
aighttomybedr oom.I
unclot hedandl ef
tmybl ackmat ching
under wear .Letmej ustsayIfoundi thardto
stayf ull
ydr essedf orlonghours.
MyIPhone8rangasImademywaydownst
air
s
toprepar
edi
nner
.Ismil
edwhenIsawwhowas
cal
li
ngandanswered
Me:"
Ntombi
kababa"shegi
ggl
edont
heot
her
si
de
Mom:
"Hel
l
obaby
"
Me:
"Hi
mommyhowar
eyou"
Mom"
I'
mfi
net
hankshowar
eyoumyl
ove"
Me:
"I
'm al
sof
inemommy
"
Mom:
"Whenar
eyougoi
ngt
ocomet
hissi
dewe
mi
ssyou"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowMaI'
m busyatt
hemoment
youkn.
..
"shecutmeof
f
Mom:"YesIknowbabybutyoushouldmake
sometimeandcomev isi
tus"Myfolksl
i
veat
KZNinDurban.Ihav
entseenthem f
orawhi
le
nowtheshooti
ngiskeepi
ngmebusy .
Me:
"Whydon'
tyouguy
scomeandv
isi
tme"
Mom:
"Iwi
l
ltalkt
oyourf
atheraboutt
hat
..
.wher
e
i
smysoninlaw"
Me:
"Il
efthi
m atwor
kmom"
Mom:
"Sendmyl
ovet
ohi
m"
Wel
lmypar
ent
sknowmyboy
fri
endof3y
ear
s
whichi
sZol aniHadebe.Ofcourseheismy
bossbutatwor kwekeept hi
ngsprofessional
.
Theguytreatmel i
keapr eci
ouscargoandI
l
oveeverysecondofi t
.Hemademef orget
aboutmypr evi
ouslyhear
tbreaks.
Me:
"Gr
eetdadf
ormeandmyl
i
ttl
ebr
other
"
Mom:
"Iwi
l
ldobabykeepwel
lIl
ovey
ou"
Me:"Il
ovey
outoontombi
kababa"She
chuckl
edandhangup.
Iplacedmyphoneont hecount
erandwor et
he
apronbeforewashingmyhands.Istart
ed
cookingwhilehavi
ngatubofyoghurt.I
'
ma
l
ighteaterIli
ketokeepmywaistfl
at.Myphone
rangagain,ItookI
tandanswer
ed.
"
Lit
tl
ebr
o"
Mvelo:"
Howar eyoumysexygor
geousamazi
ng
si
ster"Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantMv
elo"
Mv
elo:
"Ei
shy
ouar
ehur
ti
ngmyf
eel
i
ngssi
s"
Me:
"Iknowy
ouMv
eloy
ouwantsomet
hing"
Mvelo:
"Okayyougotme.
.Ineedmoneysi
sI
hav
er unoutofmyall
owance"
Me:
"HaiboMvel
owearei
nthemiddl
eofthe
monthalr
eadyy
oural
l
owancei
sfini
shed"
Mv
elo:
"Costofl
i
vingi
stoohi
ghsi
s"
Me:"Youmeanoft hr
owingmoneyongi r
ls.
"My
brotherdoesn'
tl
etaskir
tpasshi
m.Itdoesn't
helpthatheishotgi
rl
sarethr
owingthemselves
athim.
Mv
elo:
"Haaawher
edi
dyougett
hatnow"
Me:
"Howmuchdoy
ouwant
"
Mv
elo:
"7sgodo"(
R7000)
Me:
"Iwi
l
ldot
het
ransf
ernow"
Mvel
o:"
Thankyoumyl
ovewhatwoul
dIbe
wi
thoutyou"
Me:"
Atleasty
ouknow"Ihungupandt
ransf
er
hi
mt hemoney.Hecal
ledbackI
mmediat
ely
Mv
elo:
"Thanky
oubooboo"
Me:"Byeli
tt
lebru"Wehungup.Icont inuedwith
mypot sunti
ltheyar
ecooked.Zol aniisatypi
cal
Zuluguyhelov emeat.Imadehisf avouri
te
whichismut t
oncurr
yandsamp.Ial somade
desertsowhenIwasf i
nishedIwenttotooka
l
ongsoot hi
ngshower.
Idri
ed,lot
ionedandwearar edhuggi
ngsleev
es
dresswithnudeheels.It
iedmyweav ei
ntoa
neatbunandappl i
ednudeli
psti
ckbefor
e
sprayi
ngmydol ceandgabbanaf r
agr
ance.
Iwentt osetthetabl
eandeverythi
ng.We
haven'tspentsomet i
metogetherlat
ely
.Imiss
hi
st ouch,hisli
ps,hi
shugandhi sgoodsex.I
checkedt heti
mei twas7pm heisprobabl
yon
hi
sway .
Secondst
urnedint
omi nut
es,minut
esint
o
hoursZol
anihav
en'tshowup.Ideci
dedtocal
l
hi
m.
"
Youhav
ereachZol
ani
..
."Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
f
rust
rat
edl
y.
Iwaitedforhi
m unti
litwas00:00that'
swhenI
deci
dedt ogosleep.Icouldn'
teveneatmy
heartwasbroken.Hest oodmeupagai n.I
she
cheatingonme?NomyZol aniwi
llnev
erdothat
tome, hel
oveme.
I'
m KuhlekonkeZwane,25yearsofageIl
ivei
n
sandton.I'
mt heonl
ydaughterofZi
nzi
leand
Sbusi
soZwaneandt hi
sismyst ory
.
.
.
Iwi
l
lposti
nser
t1at
leastat50Li
kes.
Ibegwithonekneeont hefl
oorpl
easeshare
thepagemylovies.Ipr
omisetobeadevoted
admin.
Thanky
ou
[
05/
31,
08:
13]W:
01
KUHLEKONKE
•
Atfi
rstIthoughtIwasdreami
ngIgr
oanedi
n
fr
ustrat
ionandfiddl
edmyhandonthebesi
de
wit
houtopeningmyey es.
Me:
"Hel
l
o"Isai
dwi
thasl
eepyv
oice
Dad:
"MANYALAMANILAOWENZAYO
KUHLEKONKE!"Heroar
ed,
Ijumpedi
nshock
andsatupst
rai
ght.I
twast
henextmorni
ng
act
uall
y
Here'sthethi
ngwit
hmydad,
heisv
eryst
ri
ct
andheshoutal ot
.Wef
earhi
m mor
ethanwe
respecthim.
Hi
shugemanl
ybui
l
dbodydoesn'
thel
p.
Me:
"Baba"Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Dad:"
Klakl
a!Whothef uckar eyoucozy ouar
e
def
init
elynotmychild!Idon'thav
eal ose
sl
utti
shbitchofadaught er!
"AsconfusedasI
washiswor dspi
ercedthr oughmyhear t
"
Cal
m downManget
he"sai
dmom i
nthe
backgr
ound
Dad:"Don'
ttel
lmetocalm downZi nzi
l
emy
reputat
ioni
starni
shedbecauseofher !Howwil
l
Ifacemybusinesspartners?Thepeopleint
he
church?"Hewasbreathingfir
e
Me:
"Dadwhatareyout
alki
ngabout
"Isai
dwi
th
at
remulousv
oice
Dad:
"Yournudesar
eal
lov
ert
hesoci
al
net
works!
"
Me:"What?!
"Ihungupthephoneandlogon
Twitt
er."
Nononono"Icouldn'tbel
i
evemyeyes,
theyweresurel
ydecei
vingme.
Sali
vavani
shedinmymouth,myheartwas
poundi
ngagainstmychest
,mywholebody
shook.
Howcouldhedot
hist
ome?Howcoul
dhel
eak
t
hosenudes.
Mytear
sf al
lont
hescreenofmyphone.How
coul
dZolanidot
hisdome.
Ir
eadt
het
weet
sandpeopl
ewer
ecr
uci
fyi
ng
me.
Myheartf
li
nchedpai
nful
ly
,ther
e'st
hisone
whereIwaslyi
ngonthebednaked,l
egsspread
apar
tshowingmynun.
Shameandmor
ti
fi
cat
ionengul
fedme.
Howwil
lIf
acet
heworl
d?OhGodpl easej
ust
t
akemenowrat
hert
henl
atert
hisi
st oomuch.
Myphoner angi
twasMama.Iwasrel
uctantt
o
answeri
t,Iwassoashamedofmysel
f.
Me:
"Mama"Ibur
sti
ntot
ear
s
Mom:
"Ohbabepl
easedon'
tcr
y"
Me:
"Howcoul
dhedot
hisMama.
"Isobbed
Mom:
"Ican'
theary
oubaby
"
Me:"Zol
aniMamahewast heonl
yonewho
havethosenudes.Theywerenev
ermeantt
o
comeout .
"
Mom:
"I
'm sor
rybabybutIdon'
tthi
nkZol
ani
can
dot
his.Whywoul
dhehur
tyoul
i
ket
his"
Me:"Idon'
tknowMama"Il etoutal
oudsob
"Howwi l
lIfacetheworldMa?Theyar
e
cruci
fyi
ngme. .
."Icr
ied
Mom: "
Itwil
lpassbaby,theywillf
indsomet
hing
newtot al
kaboutdon'tcrysthandwasami.
Comehomepl easeyoucan'tbeal oney
ouneed
oursupportnowmor ethanev er"
Me:
"OkayMama"
Mom:
"Il
ovey
ouy
ezwa"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"Ihungupandwi
pedmy
t
ear
s.
Ical
l
edZol
ani
buthi
sphonewasst
il
lof
f.
Bast
ardst
oodmeupthenhegoesandshar
e
mynudeswit
hthewor
ld.
Myphoner angagainitwasmyagent ,Idi
dn'
t
havestrengthtoanswerher.Call
swer e
fol
lowingoneaf tert
heotherfrom di
ff
erent
people,Icouldn'
tdealIwantedtobeleftal
one.I
answer
edmybr
other
'scal
lonl
y
Me:
"Mv
elo"myv
oicewasahoar
se
Mv
elo:
"Real
l
yKuhl
ereal
l
y!"
Me:"
Idontknowhowdi
dtheycomeout
.Zol
ani
hadthem Mvel
o"
Mvel
o:"
Whydi
dyout
ookt
hem f
rom t
hef
ir
st
pl
ace!
"
Me:"Iwasseduci
ngmymanokay
!st
op
shouti
ngatme"
Mv el
o:"
Idon'tknowhowmanyt imesy ougi
rls
arewarnedt onotsendnudest oyourlover
scoz
onedayt heywillusethem agai
nstyou!How
couldyoubesost upi
d!"Thathi
thome
Me:"Ifeelhorr
ibl
easi
tisMveloIdon'
tneedyou
toshoutatme.Youshouldbesuppor t
ingand
comf ort
ingmeasabr ot
hernotcruci
fyi
ngme
l
ikepeopl e"
Mvelo:
"Imustt
ell
youthetrut
hKuhlekonke.You
wereveryst
upi
dbytakingnudesf
ory our
boyf
ri
end.
..
"Ihungupbef
orehecoul
dfi
nish.I
coul
dn'
tbel
iev
eMv el
owassomeantome.
Hei
sthel
astper
sonIexpect
edhewi
l
lreactl
i
ke
t
hat
.
Igotupf
rom t
hebedandmadei tbefor
etaking
ashower
.Ial
lowedwaterfal
lonmyskinand
washawaymyt ear
sthatcoul
dn'
tstopfal
l
ing.
Manypeopl
earedisappoi
ntedi
nmenow,
my
par
ent
s, mybr
other,myfans.
If
ini
shedandgotdr
essedaf
terdr
yingand
l
oti
oning.
Iwasinabl
ackdr
essandblackheel
s.WhenI
'
m
sadandbr
okenIwearbl
ack.
Ipackedmycl othesandpr eparedmyselffor
thelongdri
ve.Iloadedmybagsi nthebootand
l
ockedt hehouse.Igotinmycarandst art
ed
thecarbeforedriv
ingoff.Istar
tedatthegarage
fi
rstandfil
l
edt hetank.Iwascr yi
ngallt
heway
thatIhadaexcr uciat
ingheadache.Ipull
edoff
i
nashel lgar
ageandwentt obuygr
anpaf
ormy
headache.Thestar
eswer et
oomuchIcoul
dn't
takethem.IranasfastasIcoul
dtomecarand
drovetoeMlazi.
Mom camet
omeaf
terIpar
kedi
nthey
ard.
Mom: "
I'
m gl
ady ouarehomesthandwasami."
Shehuggedmemaki ngmetocryallov
eragai
n
"Ssshsi
sdon'tcry
..
.l
etgeti
n"
Sheheldmywaistaswemadeourwayinside
thehouse.Dadwasreadi
nganewspaperhis
footr
elaxedont
heglasst
abl
e.
Me:
"SawbonaBaba"
Heshi
ft
edhisey
esf
rom t
henewspaperand
l
ookedatme.
Dad:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e!"
Mom:
"Whatdoy
oumeanSbusi
so"
Dad:"
Idon'
twantthi
schil
dher
e!Ul
ulaza
i
sibongosal
ayi
khaya!
!"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryDaddy
"
Dad:
"Nyorywon'
tundonel
amany
aowenzi
l
e!
Getoutofmyhouse!"
Mom:"Sbusi
sopl
easethechi
l
dneedusy ou
can'
tthr
owherout.Wher
edoesshesupposet
o
go"
Dad:
"Wher
eshecomef
rom!
"
Me:
"I
tsokayMaIwi
l
lgot
othehot
el"
Mom: "
Nothi
sisyourhome"Shewascry
ing
now,myheartbr
oke"Mangethepl
easel
ether
stay
"
Dad:
"Kuhl
ekonkear
eyoust
il
lher
e!"Hest
oodup
Me:"Iwil
lcall
youmommy "IranoutasfastasI
couldbeforegetti
ngabel t
.Ohy esmyfather
sti
ll
whi pusli
keki dsasoldaswear e.Mom
watchedmedr i
vingout.Shewascr y
ing
hyster
icalandithurtt
ot hecore.
Iwassur
pri
sedthatev
ennowLuci
ahaven'
t
cal
l
edtocheckuponme.Ical
l
edhershe
answer
edont
he3r
dri
ng.
Lucia:
"Besti
e"shesai dcheer
full
y,i
twascl
ear
thatshehav en'theardorsawthenudesbut
howi sthatpossi bl
eImeanev er
ybodywas
tal
kingaboutt hem evenontheradio.
Me:
"Hey
"Icr
ied
Luci
a:"
Heybabewhati
swr
ong"
Me:"
Youhav
en'
tseenmynudesonsoci
al
net
work?
"
Luci
a:"
Whatnudes?
"
"
Babywho'
sthat
"Iwoul
dnev
ermi
staket
hat
v
oiceev
enonmysleep
Me:
"I
sthatZol
ani
?"
Luci
a:"
Huh"
Me:
"Zol
ani
ist
her
ewi
thy
ou?
"
Luci
a:"
Lookgir
lIhav
etogo"Shehungup.I
coul
dn'tbel
i
eveit
.Howcoul
dtheydothi
stome.
[
05/
31,
08:
13]W:
02
KUHLEKONKE
•
Nomay beIdidn'thearcor
rectl
yormay be
there'
sanexpl anati
onImust n'
tjumpedinto
conclusionbutwhydi dhecallher"Baby"no
ZolaniandLuci awill
neverdothattomeor
woul dthey?
Ideci
dedt ocal
lLuciaagain,butherphonesent
mest r
aightt
ovoicemailthisti
me.Zolani's
numberwasst i
lloff
.Iputtwoandt wot ogether
andtheanswerrippedmyhear t
.Howcoul d
theydothistome.
Aft
erev
erythi
ngIhav
edoneforLuci
aist
his
howshethankmebysleepi
ngwithmyman!
Luci
a'spar ent
sdi edinacaraccidentwhenshe
was18y earsold.Shewast heonlychi l
dsoher
aunttookherandst ayedwithheratThembi sa
notthatshecar edbutshej ustwantedher
moneyt hatherpar entsl
eftforhersincethey
werepoliceoffi
cer s.
Itsaddenmet hatshehadt oleavebutwekept
contactwitheachot herandIwoul dv i
sither
whenIv i
sitAunt yZoleka,mymom' ssi sterwho
l
iveinSowet o.Ihatedhowheraunt ywas
abusingherasi fthatwasn'tenoughheraunt 's
manwasmol esti
ngher .Shewasscar edt o
reporthi
m becauseshet hreat
enedt okillher
.
Thisotherday, i
twasSat urdayacoldoneIsti
ll
rememberi tIwenttov i
sitherIsawthat
bastardpumpingi nt
oherhar dandgr oani
ngas
i
fhewasf ucki
nghi swif
e.Iwentt othekit
chen
andt ookaknife,abigknife.Idi
dn'
tcareabout
allt
heconsequencesIwant edtosavemybest
fri
end.
Istabbedheruncl eoverandov eragai
nI
want edt
omakesur ehedi es.Truetomywi sh
hedi edwewer escaredandpani cki
ng,
especial
lyLucia.Idi
dn'twannagot ojai
lIcame
upwi thaplanofbur y
inghimi nthebackyard.
Fortunat
elythatdayherAuntwasv isi
ti
ngher
si
sterandshewasgoi ngtospentf ewday s
there.Wewait
edunti
li
twasatni
ghtt
odi
gthe
holeandburyhim.
Wewr otealet
terpretendi
ngtobeheraunt s
manwher eheexplainthati
t'
soverbetween
them, he.metsomeoneandshei spregnant
sinceLucia'
sauntdi dn'
twanttogiv
eherman
babies.
Af t
ert hati
ncidentherauntchangedtheway
shet reatedLucia,sheapologisedtoherand
treatedherlikeherchild.Hehesomepeopl ei
t
taket hem tobel ef
tbytheirlover
storeali
ze
howbadl ythathavebeent reati
ngpeople.
Luciahav enoqual ifi
cat
ionsnorgrade12so
sheki ndastruggledtogetajobthatpay sawell
deserv i
ngsalary.Shewoul dworkinretail
stores,fr
om onet otheother
.Icouldn'
tjust
watchmyf ri
endst ruggl
esoIbeggedZol ani
to
giveheraj ob.
Atfi
rstheref
usedcozhewantpeopl
ewhoar e
qual
ifi
edIgavehi
m agoodfuckIswearIdon'
t
knowwher edi
dIgetallthosest
ylesandt hey
weredoingwonders.Idi
dn'tf
ini
shthesent ence
andhewasl i
ke"Shegott hej
obMazi kode
wami"soLuciaisamakeupar ti
stofZolani'
s
actor
sandactressesbutsheisnottheonl yone
ofcourse.
Il
ovet hatgir
lli
kesomuchIdon'
tbel
iev
eshe
di
dt hattome.There'sal
ott
hatIhav
edonef or
herIev engaveher30%shar
eofmybout i
que.
Youmustbewonder inghowmuchdoIear n.
I'
m ay oungtal
entedfamousact r
esswhois
want edt otakeparti
neverysingl
edramaand
soapi esoy oucanimagine.Letmejustsay
study i
ngatAFDAopeneddoor sformeorI
rathersaymadet hi
ngseasyforme.IfIcould
countwher eIhadtoaudit
ionforaparti
twould
bel esst han10ti
mes.
Ial
sogetmoneyf r
om myparentsas
i
ndependentasIam.Daddyhavetonsof
busi
nessesheevenowns30taxiswhicht
rav
el
fr
om Durbant oNewcastl
e.Thechurcht ooi
s
makinghim alotofmoney .Chur
chest hese
dayshavebecomebusi nessesIt
ell
y ou.
Mommydear esti
saprincipal
soyeah.
IloveLuci alikemyv eryownsi ster
,Ican't
believ eshei schowi ngmyman.Sheknowshow
muchdoIl ov eZolani,sheknowshowhar dit
wasf ormet omov eonf rom exboy fri
endwho
shat teredmeandl eftmef ormycousi n.Af t
er
throught hickandt hint oget hershedoest hi
sto
me?Iki ll
edf orthatgirl
, Itooksomeone' slif
efor
her, Igav eherl i
febutt hi sishowshet hankme.
Thet raumaIwentt hroughaf terkil
li
ngheruncl e.
Itwasn' thelpingthatwehadt obedi screet
abouti t.Ihav enevershar edthi swit
hany one
i
ncl udi ngmymom andmybr other.
Ithoughtshei
smysi sterwhydi dshestabme
i
nt hebackli
kethi
s.Thehootingsounds
broughtmebacktoear tht
hatwhenIr eali
zedI
havestoppedthecarinthemi ddleoft
heroad.I
wipedmyt ear
swithmyshaki nghandsand
star
teddri
vi
ng.Outofgirl
sintheworldwhydi d
hechosemybestf r
iend.Tear
swer ebli
nding
me,miracul
ousl
yIgottoMusgr av
eHot elali
ve
andcheckedin.
Iunclot
hedandputonmyr obe.Icurl
edmy self
upli
keabal lonthebedandcrieduntilt
ear
s
couldn'
tcomeout .Mynosewasbl ockedandI
hadat er
ri
bleheadache.Myphonecoul dn'
tstop
ri
nging,i
twasannoy i
ng.
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
"Hell
oKonkei t
sJosyfrom Drum Magazi
neI..
."I
hungupbef oreshecouldfi
nish.Thener
veof
thesepeople.I
trangagainbutthist
imeitwas
myagent .
Me:
"Si
sAnne"
Anne:
"HeyI
'
m out
sidet
hegat
eopenup"
Me:
"I
'mi
nDur
banIl
eftt
hismor
ningI
'
m sor
ry"
Anne:
"I
tsokaybabyhowar
eyout
hough"
Me:
"I
'm awr
ecksi
sAnne.Idon'
tknowwhatt
o
doIf
eel
li
keIcandi
e"
Anne:"
I'
mreal
l
ysor
rysweet
hear
twhat
happened?
"
Me:"
Idon'tknowbutZol
ani
ist
heonl
yonewho
hadthesenudessi
sAnne"
Anne:"
Eishthi
sisadi
sast
er,
I'
mreall
ysorry
sweetheart
.Themedi
awanttohearyoursi
de
ofstor
y"
Me:"WhatwillIsaysi
sAnne?Ev enifIdohav e
somet hi
ngtosayitwon'tchangethefactthat
mynudesar eallovert
hewor l
d.Didyouread
thetweetsOhSi sAnnetheyaresomeanIcan' t
takethisi
tstoomuch.Ican'tgooutIcan'tface
thewor l
d"
Anne:
"Itwil
lpasssoonorl
atert
heywil
lfi
nd
somethingtotal
kaboutpl
easedon'
tdo
somethingstupi
d"
Me:"
Iwon'
tki
l
lmy
sel
fift
hatwhaty
ouar
e
say
ing"
Myphonebeepedindicati
nganincomi
ngcal
l.I
t
wasmom whowascal l
ing"Si
sAnnemom is
cal
l
ingIwi
ll
cally
oul ate"
Anne:
"Yousai
dyoui
nDur
banwhyi
sshecal
l
ing
you?"
Me:"I
'
mi nt
hehot
eldaddyi
sbr
eat
hingf
ir
ehe
doesn'
twantmei
nhishouse"
Anne:
"Ohl
oveI
'
m sosor
ry"
Me:
"Thanky
ousomuchsi
sAnne"
Anne:
"Okaysi
syouwi
l
lbeal
ri
ghtokay
"
Me:"
Sure"Ihungupandanswer
edmymom'
s
cal
l"Mama"
Mom:
"Wher
ear
eyou"
Me:
"Musgr
aveHot
el"
Mom:
"I
'm comi
ngnowr
oom number
?"
Me:
"Mom Idon'
twantt
ogety
oui
ntot
roubl
e
wi
thdadIwil
lbefi
ne"
Mom:
"EyKuhl
ekonkej
ustgi
vemet
henumberI
can'
tj
ustsi
tandwatchyoui
npain.Youneed
menowIwi l
ldeal
withy
ourfat
herwhenIcome
back"
Me:"203"Shehungup.Lor dknowshowmuch
doIlov ethiswoman.Shei smyev eryt
hingand
wear esocl osebutIdon'tthi
nkIwill
tellher
aboutLuci aandZolanicozshehav eneverli
ked
Luci
a, shetoler
ateher.WhenIaskedherwhy
shesai dshedoesn'tfeelher.
Mom ar
ri
vedIopenedthedoorf
orherand
t
hrewmysel
finherarms.
Mom:"OhmybabyI 'mr eal
lysorry"Wecuddl
ed
onthesofa"Thiswil
lblowov ersoontr
ustme"
Shekissedmyhead." Aninvesti
gati
onneedto
bedoneandwhoev erwhol eakedthepi
csmust
gotojail
"Ipul
ledbackandl ookedher
Me:"Di
dy ousawt hem"Shenoddedandthat
worsenedmycr y.Noparenthavetoseeher
chi
ldli
ket hatespecial
l
yaf at
her.Mybrot
her
andmyf atherknowhowdoIl ookwhenI'
m
nakednowI
tsoembar
rassi
ng.Howwil
lthey
l
ookatmenow?Howwi l
lIl
ookatt
hem."I'
m
sorr
yMama"
Mom:
"I
t'
snoty
ourf
aul
tbaby
"
Me:
"I
tisMamaIshoul
dn'
thav
etookt
hem f
rom
t
hewordgo"
Mom: "Ahbabedon'tblamey ourselfyouwer e
spici
ngupy ourr
elati
onshipwithy ourboy f
ri
end.
Everybodydoesthatitjustt
haty ournudes
endedupt othewrongper son.
"Shest rokedmy
back" Youneedt
oeat "
Me:
"Howdoy
ouknowIdi
dn'
teat
"
Mom:"
Youaremydaught
erKonke.
..
Let
'
sorder
somet
hingandwat
chmovieswhatdoyousay
"
Me:
"Dadw.
..
"
Mom:"
Stoptal
ki
ngaboutyourdadokayIwil
l
t
akecareofhi
m.Im sor
ryhechasedyouaway.
Hewil
lcomearound"
Me:
"Ihav
enev
erseenhi
mthi
sangr
yMama,
didy
ousawhowdi sgust
edhewaswhenhe
sawme"Isobbed
Mom: "Givehimt i
mesthandwasami "Shewi ped
myt earsandkissedmyl i
ps.West uffed
ourselveswithjunkandwatchmov iesinmy
l
aptop.TodayIdi dn'
tcareaboutmyst omachI
ateandat e.Imusthavefall
enasleepinthe
middleoft hesecondmov i
ecozwhenIwokeup
mom wasnotnex tt
ome.Ihear dhertal
kingin
thebathroom.Igotupf r
om thebedandwentt o
thebathroom.Herbackwasf aci
ngmesoshe
couldn'
tseeme.
Mom" Hei
sbackIdon'tknowwher
eishe
comingfr
om Zol
eka"Shewastal
ki
ngtoher
si
ster
Aunt
yZo:
".
..
..
..
"
Mom: "
Idon'
tknowwhatam Igoingtodothis
wil
lsabot
agemymar r
iageandhurtmychi
ldr
en.
Konkeisgoi
ngthroughar ought
imealr
eady"
Aunt
yZo:
".
..
..
..
"
Mom:"I
m scar
edZol
ekaandIt
hinkmyhusband
i
ssuspecti
ngsomet
hing.
"
Aunt
yZo:
".
..
..
."
.
Mom:
"May
bet
hatcoul
dwor
kthanky
ou"
Aunt
yZo:
".
..
..
"
Mom: "
Ilov
ey outoosis"Sheendedthecal
land
swiv
ell
edar ound"Konkemaan!"Shehel
dher
tummy
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryIdi
dntmeant
ost
art
ley
ou"
Mom:
"Ihav
etogonow"herv
oicewasshaki
ng
Me:"
Whatisgoi
ngonMawhoi
sback?Whyar
e
youscar
ed?"
Mom:"Iwi
llseeyoutomorrowbutIwil
lcal
l
bef
oreyousleep"Shewalkedoutoft
he
bat
hroom ,
wi t
hmef ol
lowingbehi
ndher.
Me:
"Mama"
Mom:"
Ilov
eyou"Sheexi
ted,
Iwonderwhati
s
goi
ngon.
Ti
mewasar
ound4pm soIdecidedt
ocar r
yon
wi
tht
hemovi
es.Ineededsomedist
racti
oncoz
myey
eswer
egoingtoburstfr
om cr
ying.
Around8pm Iwasabouttosl
eepwhenIhear
d
aknockonthedoor.Ishuf
fl
edmyfeett
othe
doorandopenedit
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwanther
e!"
Zolani:
"BabyIm sor
ry"Ipushedthedoorhe
blockeditwit
hhi sf
ootandandwal kedin."
Im
reall
ysorrybabyIdon'tknowhowdi dthose
picsendeduponsoci alnetworks"
Me:
"Youar
ely
ingZol
ani
"
Zolani:
"WhywouldIliebaby
.Ipr
omisestr
uuI
havenoi dea.Il
oveyouIwil
lnev
erdothatto
you."Ial
mostbeliev
ehim
Me:"
Wher ehaveyoubeenZolani
?Itri
edcal
ling
youbutyourphonewasoff.Iwai
tedforyoubut
youdidn'
tshowupagain!Whybecauseyouhad
Luci
a'
spussytof uck,
mybestf r
iendZol
ani"I
wascr
yingnow
Zolani:
"Ohbabe"Heheldmywai st,Iy
ankedhis
handof f"
I'
m sorryI
'mreal
l
ysorry"myheart
brokemor eotherpar
tofmewashopi ngthathe
willsaynothi
nghappendbetweenthem
Me:
"Youar
enotgoi
ngt
odenyi
t"
Zolani
:"
BabyLuciaisoutoft
hepict
ure.Il
ove
younother.Shedoesnotexi
stst
handwasami "
Ichuckl
edindisbel
i
ef
Me:
"Ican'
tbeli
eveyouy
az.
..
howl
onghav
eyou
t
wobeenf ucki
ng"
Zolani:
"Itsdoesn'tmat termyl ovewhatmat ters
i
sthaty ouar etheoneIl ove.I'
m sorr yIdi
dnt
meant ohur tyou.Luciai sadevilt
hatwantt o
comebet weenusdontl etherwinpl ease."He
cuppedmyf aceandki ssedmesogoodI
couldn'tr esi
st.HepickedmeupIcl ampedmy
l
egsar oundhi swaist.Hewal kedwi thmet othe
bedroom.Thenextmi nutewewer enakedand
maki ngl oveli
kewehav enev erbefor e."
Ilove
y
ou"Hecol
l
apsedonme,
pant
ing.
Me:"Il
ovey outoo"OkayIknowy out
hinkIl
eti
t
gosoeasyt r
uthisIl
ovehim somuch.Ican'
t
staymadathi m.Iwon'tal
low Luci
atotakemy
bofri
endjustli
kethathel
lnoZolanii
smine.
Zolani
:
"Let'
sgot
omyhouseyoucan'
tstayi
n
thehotel
"Heownahouseher
ebutitnot
occupi
edasheisal
way
sinJozi.
Me:
"Howdi
dyouknowI
'
m her
e"
Zolani
"Annetol
dmeyoul
eftwhenIar
ri
vedat
yourparent
shousey
ourmom tol
dmey ouar
e
here"
Me:
"I
'm hurtZol
ani
Ist
il
ldon'
tbel
i
evey
ousl
ept
wi
thmyf ri
end"
Zol
ani:
"I
'm sorryokaydon'
tgi
vehert
hat
sat
isf
acti
on, shewanttosabot
ageusbaby
."
Wegotdressedandl
eftt
ohi
shousei
n
KwaMashu.
I
tsasi
ngl
est
oryabeaut
if
ulone.Whenweget
ther
eIwassl eepy."Let
'sgosl
eepmy
sugerpl
um beforeyoueatme"Iwasy
awni
ng
nonestop.
Thewasaknockonthedoor
.Iwentt
oopeni
t
boom her
ecomest
hesnake.
Me:
"Whatt
hef
ucki
sthi
s"
Luci
a:"
Hel
l
otoy
out
obest
ie"
Me:
"Best
ieukunuka!
"
Lucia:
"Whereisourman"Shepushedmeand
walkedin"Ohthereyouareprincechar ming"
Shewal kedoverhi
m andkissedhi m deeply.
Mybl oodboil
edthisgi
rlwastestingmeI
grabbedherbyherhair
,shescr eamedi nagony
Me:
"Bi
tchgetawayf
rom myman!
"
Luci
a:"
Hei
sour
sbi
tchgetuset
oit
"
Me:
"Leav
eLuci
a!"
Luci
a:"
Im notl
eav
ingt
hisi
smybae'
shouse"
Zol
ani
:
"Enough!
"
Me:
"Tel
lhert
ogoZol
ani
"
Zol
ani
:
"Noonei
sgoi
ng"Luci
asmi
l
ed
Me:
"What
?"
Zolani
:
"I'
mtir
edIhadal ongdr
iveandI
'
m sur
e
youarealsoti
red.Let
'sal
lgot
osleepwewil
l
tal
kinthemorning"
Me:"
I'
m notgoi
ngt
osleepher
ewhi
l
eshei
sst
il
l
her
eshehav et
ogo!
"
Zol
ani
:
"Ohy ouwi
l
lsweet
hear
tinonebed.
Comeladi
es"
Me:
"Whaaat
!"
Zol
ani:
"Awusezwayi
niezi
ndl
ebeni
Konke"(
can'
t
youhearnowKonke)
Me:
"Whatnonsensei
sthi
sZol
ani
!I'
mleav
ing!
"
Hegr
abbedmyhand
Zol
ani
:
"Youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
e"
Me:"
Leavemeal
one!
"Het i
ght
enhi
sgr
ip"
Ouuh
youarehur
ti
ngmeZolani
"
Zol
ani
:
"Wearegoi
ngtogotot
hebedr
oom and
sl
eept
oget
heram Icl
ear
"
Inoddedtearsrol
li
ngdownmyf ace."
Good"he
l
etgoofmehandt henweallwenttothe
bedroom."Iwantyoutwonakednoclothes
al
lowedinthisbed"
Luci
a:"
YesDaddy
"
Weundr essedandgoti
ntobed,
Zol
aniwasin
themiddle.Hepull
edusinhi
sarmsandpl
anted
pecksonourf or
eheads
.
.
I
nhli
zi
yoIdl
aEkut
handay
o'si
nser
twi
l
lbe
post
edlat
er.
[
05/
31,
08:
13]W:
03
KUHLEKONKE
•
Zol
ani
:"Goodni
ghtbeaut
if
ull
adi
es"
Luci
a:"
Nightbaby"
Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng
Zol
ani
:
"Konke"
Imai
ntai
nmysi l
encedoesher
eal
l
yexpectme
topl
ayhappypoly
gamy
Zol
ani
:
"KONKE!
"
Me:
"What
"
Zol
ani
:"Isai
dgoodni
ght
"
Itur
nedtheothersi
dewithoutut
teri
ngawor
d
hepull
edmet ohimsel
froughlyandmademe
facehi
m" don'
tyoudar
edi sr
espectme
woman!"
Hesqueezedmetightl
ycrashi
ngmybonesi
ts
hurtsomuchIf
elttear
sthreat
eni
ngt
ocome
outofmyeyes.
Me:
youar
ehur
ti
ngmeZol
ani
Zol
ani
:"Isai
dgoodni
ght"
Me:
"goodni
ght
"Isobbed
Zol
ani
:"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
hel
etgoofmybody
Zolani
:"Don'
tgi
vemey
ourbackIdon'
twant
yourbadl
ucks!
"
NowIwasforcedt
ofacehi
m eventhoughhi
s
si
ghtdi
gust
edmeIcouldn'
tfat
hom outwhyi
s
hedoi
ngthi
stome
whyishesocruel
whatishappeni
ngtohi
m coz
thi
sisnotmysweetZol
ani,
thelov
ingcar
ing
guyIhaveev
ermetinmylif
e
Icoul
dn'
tsleepIwasweepingthewhol
enight
andthei
rsnorescoul
dnthelpIsl
owl
ygetoutof
thebedbuthepull
edmecl ose
Zol
ani
:
"wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Me:
"tot
hel
oo"
Zol
ani
:"Okay
"Hel
etl
ose
Ir
oll
edoutofbedanddr
aggedmy
sel
ftot
he
bathr
oom Idi
dnumberoneandwashedmy
hands.
Icoul
dn'
tbr
ingmy
sel
ftogobacki
ntobedt
his
i
smadness!
Il
ockedthedoorandwentdownt
othef
loor
andcri
edmylungsout.
Themosti mportantpeopl ei
nmyl i
fest
abbed
mei nthebackwi thaswor dandl ef
titt
hereas
i
fitisn'tenought heyarescrewingeachot her
nowIhav etosleepwi ththem Ilookedatmy
arm whi chwasbr uisedandi tdi
dn'thel
pthat
i
m semi li
ghtskinned" Babeareyouokay"Igot
upfrom t hefl
oorqui cklyandwipedmyt ears
"Kuhlekonke"
Me:
"I'
mfi
ne"It
ri
edt
okeepmyv
oicecal
m.
Iopenedthedoor
,hel
ookedatmeandfl
ashed
agorgeoussmil
eofhi
sthatmakemyknees
weak.
Zol
ani
:
"Comemyl
ove"Hepul
l
edmecl
oset
o
hi
m andki
ssedme."
Ilov
eyoust
handwasami
"
Ilookeddownandsai
dnothing.If
oundithard
tobeliev
eit
.Iwasbewi
lder
edbyhi ssudden
change.
Hehel
dmyhandaswewentt
othebedr
oom.
Weslidi
ntobedandcuddl
edsur
pri
singl
yIf
all
asl
eep.
Thef
oll
owingmor
ningIwokeupi
nZol
ani
'
s
ar
msbutLuci
awasnotwit
hus.
IunwrappedZolani
'
sar
msar
oundmeand
rol
ledoutofbed.
Isl
ippedint
omydr
ess,
aromaofsausagesand
eggsfil
l
edmymynoseasIappr
oachedthe
ki
tchen.
Mystomachgrowl
ed.Onet
hing,
not
wothings
Luci
acandoisdoi
ngmakeupandcooki
ng.
Youmoanunti
lyouf
ini
shherf
oodt
hathow
goodshei
s.
Shesawmef
ir
standsmi
l
edwi
del
y
LLuci
a:"
Best
iewani
na"
Thi
sgi
rli
scr
azyt
oget
herwi
thZol
ani
.
Shewasweari
ngmyman'
spol
oshi
rtexposi
ng
hery
ell
owthi
ghs.
Me:
"Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hisLuci
a?"
Luci
a:"
Imadebr
eakf
astcomeandsi
tdown.
Shehel
dmyhandIy
ankedi
tof
f.
Me:"Leav
emet
hef
uckal
one!
!"Iscr
eamedi
n
anger
Luci
a:"
Youdon'
thav
etobemean"
Me:"
Aft
erever
ythi
ngIhav
edonef
ory
oui
sthi
s
howyouthankmeLuci
abyscr
ewi
ngmyman!
"
Luci
a:"
It
'snotmyf
aul
tZol
ani
wantbot
hofus"
Hhheeemyarmpit
ssweatinstantaneousl
yI
sl
appedheronherfaceshescreamed
hyst
eri
cal
.
Zol
aniappear
edinhi
sbrief
sIfIwasntf
umi
ng
wit
hangerI'
dsayhelookyummy .
Lucia:
"Babysheslappedme"sherantohim,
cry
ingcrocodil
etears.Lonondi
ndi
waJehovah!
Zol
ani
:
"Whatt
hef
uckKuhl
ekonke!
"
Me:"
Heryel
l
owskinisexagger
ati
ngIshoul
d
hav
eslappedherhar
der!
!"
Hewalkedtowardsmel
ooki
ngal
lscar
ybutI
di
dn'
tfl
inched.
I
'
m notgoi
ngt
ogi
vehi
mthatgr
ati
fi
cat
ion.
Zol
ani
:
"Apol
ogi
set
oher
!!
"Hescr
eamed
Me:"
Iwon'
tapol
ogi
setothatbi
tchZol
ani.
What'
swrongwi
thyou?Whatisshedoing
her
e!!
"
Zol
ani
:
"Don'
tshoutatmeI
'
mri
ghtnextt
oyou!
"
Me:"
Soit
sokayf
oryout
oshoutatmebutI
can'
tdot
hesame?"
Zol
ani
:
"Youdonotgett
otal
ktomel
i
keI
'
myour
school
boy
.Isai
dapol
ogi
set
oher
!"
Me:
"Angi
funi
!"(
Idon'
twantt
o!)
Zol
ani:
"Don'
ttestmeKuhl
ekonke!!
"Hegnashed
hi
steethIal
mostpeedonmy self
Me:"
I'
m sorr
yLucia"Thewor
dssli
pped
aut
omatical
lyoutofmymouth.
Luci
a:"
It
'sokaymyf
ri
end"
Zol
ani
:
"Let
sal
lsi
tdownandt
alk"
Weobeyedhi
m andsatdownl
ooki
ngal
lscar
ed
l
ikel
i
ttl
eki
ds.
"Kuhl
ekonkeIl
oveyousomuchy oumakeme
thehappi
estmaninthewholewideworld.You
areoneofthebl
essi
ngsIneverstopshowing
grat
it
udetothemanupstai
rs.
..
."Iint
erj
ected
Zolani
:"
Letmef i
nished"Izi
ppedmymout h.
"YouaretheairIbreathwit
houtyouI'
m dead.
Youownmyhear t.Youaremymai ncour seand
Luciaherei
smysi de.Youneedt orespecteach
otherandstopallthesecat
sfight
s"
Me:
"That
'sbul
l
shi
t!
"
Zol
ani
:
"Mi
ndy
ourt
one!
"
Me:"Yahlany
a!Zolanii
tseit
heri
tmeorher
chooseIcan'tshareyouespeci
all
ynotwi
tht
his
socalledbit
chofaf r
iend!"
Hechuckl
edandl
ookedatme.
Zol
ani
:"
Iseemyli
fey
out
hinkI
'
m aski
ngy
ouno
I
'mtel
l
ingyou"
Me:
"Fucky
ouZol
ani
!"
Hegotupf
rom hi
schai
randwal
kedt
omeI
swal
l
owedhard.
Zol
ani
:"
Youdi
dn'
tmeant
osayt
hatr
ightmy
l
ove"
Heplacedhi
shandsonmyt hi
ghsand
squeezedt
hem unt
ili
thur
t.
Ilookedathi
m wi
thmygl
i
steni
ngey
eswi
th
tears.
Me:
"Yes"Iwhi
sper
ed"
Zol
ani
:
"Yeswhat
"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tmeant
oswearaty
ou"
Zol
ani
:
"Beagoodgi
rlandapol
ogi
se"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Zol
ani
:
"Ist
hathowy
ouapol
ogi
senow"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryHadi
e"Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps
Zol
ani
:
"If
orgi
vey
ouMazi
kode"
Hewi
pedmyt
ear
sandki
ssedmepassi
onat
ely
.
.
.
IknowitsshortI
'm sorr
ybabi
esy
a'l
lknowhow
unpredi
ctabl
efesti
veis.
Yougototheshoptobuygoslow'
sandcome
backdr
unksobearwithmesweeri
es .I
'
m
sorr
yfori
ncorr
ectspel
li
ngs.
[
05/
31,
08:
14]W:
04
KUKHLEKONKE
•
Hetookmyhandsandl
ookedatmybr
uised
wr
ist.
Zol
ani
:
"Idi
dthi
stoy
ou"Inodded
"Youseewhaty oumademet odoy oushould
stopdisobeyi
ngme"Heki ssedmywr i
st"I
m
sorr
yokay "Inoddedonceagain,IknewifIdare
openmymout hIwill
saythi
ngst hatwi
llmake
him angry
.
Zol
ani:
"SoLuci
awhathav
eyoumadebabeI
m
st
arvi
ng"
Luci
a:"
Engli
shbreaskf
astcomesi
tdownIwi
l
l
di
shupf orus"
Me:
"CountmeoutI
m nothungr
y"
Zol
ani
:
"Si
ncewhennowdoy
ouski
pbr
eakf
ast
"
Me:
"Si
ncet
oday
"
Luci
a:"
ComeonIdidntputpoi
soni
fthatwhat
youarescar
edof
"
Lordam Idr
eami
ngort
hisshi
tisr
eal
l
y
happeni
ng
Thesetwoaresochi
ll
edwi
tht
his.
..
Idontknow
whatit
sevencal
led.
Me:
"Isai
dIm nothungr
y"
Zolani
grabbedmyal
readybr
uisedhandI
wincedinpai
n
Zol
ani
:
"It
oldy
out
ost
opdi
sobey
ingme!
"
Me:
"Youar
ehur
ti
ngmeZol
ani
"
Hel
etgoofmyhandandsi
gnal
edwi
thhi
sey
es
f
ormetosi
tdown.
Iobeyedhim andsatdown.Tear
sst
ream down
myf ace.
Zol
ani
:
"Not
ear
satt
het
abl
e"Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s.
Ihat
ethebeastZol
ani
hav
etur
nedi
nto.
Whati
swr
ongwi
thhi
m?
I
shet
aki
ngdr
ugs?
IswearZolani
isnotl
i
ket
his,
heuset
obet
his
sweetl
ovingguy.
Lovehurtmesomuchtoapoi
ntt
hatIt
houghtI
wil
lneverl
oveagai
n.
ThisonedayImett
hishandsomebr
own
chocol
ateguy.
Idi
dntwantt
ogi
vehi
m achancebuthenev
er
gaveup.
If
oundmy
sel
ffal
l
ingf
orhi
m.
Hewassoper
fect
,anev
erygi
rl
'
ski
ndaguy
.
Hemademef
orgett
hatIwashear
tbr
oken.
Wehavebeentoget
herf
or3y
earsnowandmy
par
ent
slovehi
m asmuchashisl
oveme.
Idontunder
standwhati
sal
lthi
snow
Coul
ditbepossi
blet
hathi
str
uecol
our
sar
e
showi
ngnow.
Weat
einsi
l
enceunt
ilZol
ani
brokei
t
Zol
ani
:
"Tommor
rowmor
ningwear
eleav
ing."
Me:
"I
m notl
eav
ing.
..
."Hecutmeof
f
Zol
ani
:
"Di
dIgi
vey
oual
eav
eorf
ewday
sof
f?"
Me:"
NoZol ani
butIneedsomet
imet
o..
."he
i
nter
nject
ed
Zolani
:
"Justbecauseyournudeswentvir
al
doesntmeanlifemuststopnow.Bytheendof
thi
smont hweshoul dbefi
nishi
ngt
hismov i
e.
Thewr i
ter
sarewor ki
ngonanewser ies.
..
"
Me:"
Reall
yZolaniyoujustgonnadi
smi
ssthis
l
iket
hat.Youst i
l
lhaventtoldmewhodidthi
sif
i
tsnotyou?"
Zolani
:
"IdontknowKuhl
ekonkehowmany
ti
mesmustIt ell
yout
hat"
Me:
"Theywereinyourphonedammi
t!Who
t
ouchyourphoneexceptyou"
Zol
ani
:
"Noone!
"
IlookedatLuci
awhowasl
ooki
ngherf
oodal
l
thisti
me
Me:"
Itwasyoui
snt
?"Shel
ookatmeand
swal
lowedherf
ood
Lucia:
"Me?
"It
sherIcanseet
hroughherandI
m
goingtopr
oveit
.
Me:
"Angi
nay
oinxemuLuci
a"
Luci
a:"
OhmyGodwhywoul
dyout
hinkIIwi
l
l
dothattoy
ou"
Me:"
Your
eal
l
ywantmet oanswert
hat
."I
scr
eamedwit
hindi
gnat
ion
Zolani
:
"Shutupbothofy
ou!
"Hesnor
ted"
You
needtostopfi
ghti
ngmaan.
"
Luci
a:"
Shest
art
edi
tbyaccusi
ngme"
Me:"Thatisnot hingcompar edtowhaty oudi
d
tomeLuci a.It houghtwear efri
endsnowear e
sist
ers.Wehav ebeent hroughalottoget
herfor
yearsandi ttakey ouwhatf orfewsecondsto
stabmei ntheback.Soal lthi
stimey ouwanted
himf oryour selfneh.Infacthowl onghaveyou
beenf ucking? "Iwascr yi
ngandshaki ngnow
Zol
ani
:
"Babypl
easecal
m down"
Me:
"Iwantt
oknowhowl
ongy
out
wohav
ebeen
f
ucki
ng!"
Luci
a:"
Twoyears"Myheartst
oppedbeati
ng.
Tearsr
andownmyf acewowIcantbel
iev
ethis
havebeenhappeni
ngandIcouldntnot
ice
OhmyGodI m sost
upi
d.If
eltl
i
keIwasr
unni
ng
outofai
rtobr
eath.
Igaspedf
orai
rwhi
chwasi
mpossi
ble
Zol
ani
:
"Babe"
Hestoodupandhel
dmei
nhi
sar
ms"
Breat
h
pl
ease"
Luci
a:"
Wher
eisheri
nhal
er"
Zol
ani
:
"Inhal
er?
"
Luci
a:"
Yesdammi
tshehav
eanast
hma"
Zol
ani
:
"Real
l
y?"
Lucia:
"Youdon'
tknow?"Sher
ushedoutl
eav
ing
Zolanil
ooki
ngwor r
ied
Zol
ani
:
"Br
eat
hmyl
ovepl
ease"Hef
annedme
Luci
acamebackwi
thmyi
nhal
erandmademe
i
nhalei
t.
Mi
nut
esl
aterIcat
chedmynor
mal
breat
hing.
Zol
ani
:
"Howar
eyounow"
Me:
"I
m..
imf
ine"
Zol
ani:
"Babywhyyoudidntt
ell
mey ouhave
ast
hmawehav ebeentogetherfor3year
sand
Idi
dntknowaboutthi
s"
Me:"Justli
kehowy oudidnttellmet hatyouare
fucki
ngmybestf ri
end.Ourr elationshi
pwasa
bigfatl
iefrom t
hewor dgo.Wowy ousure
knowhowmakeonebel i
evet hatshei sthe
onlypersoninyourli
fe.
"Istoodupandl ooked
atLuciashakingmyheadi ndi sbeli
ef"youbot
h
deserveeachotherIwishyoual l
thebest."
Imademywaytothebedr
oom andt
ookmy
bagsandmyphone.
Ihadmi
ssedcal
l
sfr
om mybr
orherandMama.I
st
artedcal
l
ingMamaf i
rst
,sheseemed
di
sturbedy
ester
dayandIwaswor r
iedabouther
.
Mom:
"BabyIhav
ebeencal
l
ingy
ou"
Me:
"I
m sor
ryMamahowar
eyou"
Mom:
"Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
out
hatbaby
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbef
ineMamahowi
sDad"
Mom:
"Hewi
l
lcomear
ound"
Me:"
ImeanIdi
dntcauset
roubl
ebet
weeny
ou
anddad?
"
Mom:"
IcanhandlemyhusbandKonke"Asi
f
t
hatmanisuncontr
oll
abl
eImtel
li
ngyou.
Me:
"Okayi
fyousayso.Ihav
etogoMama"
Mom:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:"
Ilov
eyout
oo"Ihungupandcal
l
edmy
br
other
Mvel
o:"
Im anasshol
eIknowpl
easef
orgi
ve
me."
Me:
"I
tsokayMv
elo"
Mvelo:
"Noitsnotyouaregoi
ngthr
oughheav
y
shi
tIshouldntbeaddi
ngonthatImreal
l
ysorr
y
si
siwami pleasef
orgi
veme"
Me:
"Asi
fIcanst
aymadaty
ouf
orev
er"
Mvelo:
"Letmemakeitupt
oyoutel
lmewhere
youareyouIwi
ll
dri
vether
eandspoil
you"
Me:
"Spoi
lmewi
thmymoney
"
Mv
elo:
"Yousuchamoodki
l
lery
az"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:"
Aski
esI
m atZol
ani
'
sy oudontneedt
o
f
etchmeIwill
dri
vetoyou"
Mv
elo:
"Thanky
ousi
siza"
Me:
"Sur
e"Ihungup
"
Youarenotgoi
ngany
wher
e"Iswi
vel
l
edar
ound
t
olookathi
m
Me:
"Andwhoar
eyout
otel
lmet
hat
?"
Hewal
kedt
owar
dsandhel
dmywai
st
Zol
ani
:"
Babycomeony oucantthrowaway
whatwehavebui
ld.
..
"Icuthi
m offdoeshe
l
ist
entohi
mselfwhenhespeak
Me:
"Whathav
ewebui
l
dZol
ani
?"
Zol
ani
:
"Lovebaby
,wehav
esomet
hingamaz
ing
goi
ngon"
Ichuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
ef,
shaki
ngmyhead
Me:"
Scr
ewi
ngmybestf
ri
endy
oucal
lthatl
ove?
nx"
Zol
ani
:
"Im beggi
ngy
oudontl
eav
eme"
Me:
"I
m donei
tsov
er!
"
Zolani:
"Youarenotl
eavi
ngme!
"Thesweet
beggingZolanivani
sh
Me:"Zolanil
eavemet hefuckalone!y outhink
Im goingtosithereandwatchy oupl ayi
ng
polygamymant henyoumustbecr azy.Im not
si
cki ntheheadl i
keyouandy ourbitch!
Angiwuthandiudotingobauyanginukelaudot i
phelaloIreal
lycantstandanunpl easant
smel
l
!"
Zolani
:
"Youthi
nkitsl
ikethathuh?Youwi l
lj
ust
walkoutofmylif
ejustli
kethis"hesnappedhi
s
fi
ngers
Me:
"YesIm doi
ngthatso.Iknowmy sel
fwort
h
Zol
aniIwontst
ickaroundforthi
sbull
shi
t!
"
Helaughedsohar
dandhewasi
rki
ngt
hehel
l
outofme.
Zol
ani:
"Youar
emineKuhlekonkeandy
ouar
e
notgoi
ngtowalkoutofmylif
e"
Me:
"Wat
chme!
"
Iwheel
edmyl
uggageandheadedoutoft
he
bedr
oom.
Iwal
kedtot
hedooritwasl
ocked.Luci
awas
j
ustst
andi
ngther
elooki
ngal
lofthi
s
Zol
ani
:
"Oops"
Me:
"Zol
ani
letmel
eav
epl
ease"
Zol
ani
:
"Whoappr
oachedy
ou?
"
Me:
"You"
Zolani:
"SoImt heonewhowill
tel
lyou
otherwise.Youarestuckwi
thmef ort
her
estof
yourli
fe"
Me:"
Yougonnal
ockusher
efort
her
estofour
l
iv
es!"
Hewalkedt
owar
dsmeandpl
acedhi
shandon
myneck
Zol
ani
:
"Takebacky
ourbagsandr
elax
"
Me:"
Iwontdot
hat!
"It
ri
edtomakeacal
lhe
snat
chedmyphoneandsmashedi
tont
hewal
l
Me:
"Zol
ani
whatt
hef
uck!
"
Zol
ani:
"Dontshoutmyl ov
eI m herenexttoy
ou"
HekissedmeIpushedhi m het i
ghtenhisgr
ip
onmyneck" DidntIsaystopdisobeyi
ngme"
Hest
angl
edmeIcoughed
Me:
"I
m sor
ry"Icr
ied
Zol
ani
:
"Ist
hathowy
ouapol
ogi
se"
Me:"
Im sor
ryHadie"Iki
ssedhim her
esponded,
car
rassi
ngmybr eastandpushedmeont he
sof
a
Zol
ani
:
"Comej
oinusLuci
ababy
"
Huhh?
[
05/
31,
08:
14]W:
05
KUHLEKONKE
•
Nohei
snotmaki
ngmet
odot
his.
Thi
sisadr
eam Iwi
l
lwakeupanymoment
.
Luci
a:"
Wit
hpl
easur
emyl
ove"
What
?Noisshecrazy
?Whyi
ssheagr
eei
ngt
o
ev
ery
thi
nghesays.
Luciawal
kedt
ousandranherhandson
Zolani
'
sheadwit
haseduct
ivesmil
e.
Hegr
abbedherbut
tlasci
vi
ousl
yandki
ssedher
.
Igotupf
rom t
hecouchandt
ipt
oed
Zol
ani
:
"Wher
edoy
out
hinky
ouar
egoi
ng?
"
Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Me:
"Babepl
easel
etmego"
Zol
ani
:"
DidntImakemysel
fcl
eart
oyout
hat
youar
enotgoingany
where"
Hegrabbedmewi thmyhandandpulledme
cl
osehi msel
f,smashi
nghi
sli
psonmi ne.I
pushedhim"Whatnowy oudontwantmeto
ki
ssy ou!"
Me:
"Iwantt
ogohomeZol
ani
"Icr
ied
Zol
ani
:"
Wewi
l
lgohomet
omor
rownowl
etj
ust
hav
efun"
Me:
"Youcal
lthi
sfun?Thi
sisi
nsane!
"
Zol
ani
:
"Dontmakemeangr
yKuhl
ekonke"
Me:"Ist
hathowli
tt
ley
out hi
nkofme?You
fuckedmyfri
endandexpectmet oacceptt
hat
sheisyoursi
denowyouwantmet ohave3
somechaawungiboniyazZolani
"
Zolani
:"
Youthi
nkyougett
omaker ul
esher
e
huh?Icall
theshot
syouwil
ldoexact
lyasI
say!"
Me:"AndwenaLuci
awhyar eagreei
ngt
othi
s
nonsense?Ar
eyouthatdesper
ate"
Lucia:
"Youaretheonewhomaket hi
slookbad.
Weshar eevery
thingwhynotshar
eamanmy
fr
iend"
Ihavelear
ntthi
sthehardwaynev
ert
rusta
personrat
hertr
ustastone.
Zol
ani
:
"Comegi
vemeaheadKonke"
Me:
"No!
"
Hegr
aspedmybr
uisedar
m andsqueezedi
t
Zol
ani
:
"Dontmakemer
epeatmy
sel
f!
"
Me:
"Youar
ehur
ti
ngmeZol
ani
"Tear
sfal
ldown
onmyface
Zol
ani
:
"Isai
dcomegi
vemeahead"
Me:
"Okay
"Hel
etgomyhand.
Iwentdownonmykneesandsl
i
ddownhi
s
bri
ef.
Itoy
edwithhi
sguyunt
ili
twaser
ectbef
ore
putt
inghi
minmymouth.
Luciawaskissi
nghim,
hismoansdroveme
crazyIbi
tehisguy
.Hegroanedl
oudl
y.
Badmov
ekuhl
ever
ybadmov
e
Zol
ani
:
"Dammi
tKonkewhydi
dyoudot
hat
!"
Hepull
edmebymyhairanddr
aggedmetothe
bedr
oom wher
ehepushedmetothebed.
Me:
"I
m sor
ryZol
ani
"Icr
ied.
Zolani
:"
Youli
ketobeabadgi
rll
etseei
fyouwi
l
l
handlethi
smissbadgi
rl
"
Itr
iedt
ofighthi
m buthest
rangl
edmeunt
ilI
sawmyl i
feendi
ng.
Rihtt
her
einhi
sbedr
oom wehadthat3some
sessi
onwit
hmecryi
ngt
hroughout
.
Zol
ani
:
"Udl
i
wey
ini
ke?
"
Ii
gnor
edhi
m andr
ant
othebat
hroom t
ovomi
t.
Ihavenev
erf
eltsodi
sgust
edwi
thmy
sel
fli
ke
thati
nmywholeli
fe.
Ifel
tsodi
rt
yandli
tt
le.Af
terIfi
nishedmy
busi
nessIr
insedmymout handf l
ushed.
Itookashoweral
l
owi
ngmyt
ear
stof
lowonmy
face.
Whatki
ndofanani
mal
doest
hist
oaper
sonhe
cl
aimst
olove.
Icouldntf
athom outwhywoul
daper
sont
reat
anotherpersonl
i
ket hi
s.
Whatwor
set
othemat
terLuci
aenj
oysi
t.
Whycantt
heyleav
emeal
oneandcar
ryonwi
th
t
hei
rrel
ati
onshi
p.
Theybot
hwal
kedi
nnakedandj
oinedme.
Zol
ani
:
"Donty
oudar
ewal
kout
!"
Me:
"It
houghtIshoul
dgi
vey
ouguy
saspace"
Zol
ani
:
"Spacef
orwhat
?Babey
ouneedt
oget
usetothatther
eare3ofusnow.
..
sonowbea
goodgirlandgiv
edaddyascr
ubwhil
emyluci
a
hereentert
ainme"
Zol
aniissi
ckstr
unasi
Idi
dntr
efusecozi
twas
notgonnahel
pme.
Iscr
ubbedhi
sbackwhi
l
eLuci
agav
ehi
ma
head.
Af
terwhatf
eltl
i
kef
orev
erwegotoutanddr
ied.
Iwor
ear
obewhi
l
eLuci
awor
eZol
an'
st-
shi
rt
.
.
Zolani
waswat chingsocceri
nthel
oungewhi
l
e
Luciawascooking.
Luci
a:"
Whoknewthaty
ouandIwi l
lhave3some.
Itwasamazi
ngwasnti
t?"Shegi
gglednaught
ly.
Me:"
Youar
ecrazyhuh?"shelaughed"
Luci
a
gi
vemethekeypleaseIwanttogo"
Lucoa:
"Idontknow wher
eist
hekeybabe"
Me:
"Comeony
ouwi
l
lgetachancet
ohav
ehi
m
al
lbyy
our
sel
fjustl
etmegopl
ease"
Lucia:
"Forsomeonewhoi seducatedyoucan
bedom somet imes.Iwill
neverhaveZolanif
or
my sel
fonly.Ei
therIhav
ehim wit
hy ouinthe
pi
ct ur
eornotatall"
Me:
"That
snonsense!
"
Luci
a:"
Ahwelli
tiswhati
tis"Shet
ookouta
j
uicei
nt hef
ri
dgeandpouriti
nthegl
asses
Me:
"Wher
eissel
frespectLuci
a?"
Luci
a:"
Sel
frespectwi
l
lnotgi
vemet
hel
i
feI
wantsweety"
Me:"
Ohsot hi
sisaboutagrandli
fe.
.okayIwi
l
l
gi
vethatj
ustletmegoplease"
Luci
a:"
Wil
lyout
aket
hist
oourmanorshoul
dI"
Me:
"Fokof
!"
Luci
a:"
Angerwonthelpyousweet
heartyou
needtocalm down"Shetookt
heglassand
wenttothelounge.
Igroanedi
nfust
rar
ti
onsandst
art
edl
ooki
ngf
or
thekey.
"
Youar
ewast
ingy
ourt
ime"
Wespentt
hewhol
edayi
ndoor
s.
Iwassof
ucki
ngangr
yandannoy
ed.
Thef
oll
owi
ngmor
ningwel
eftt
oJozi
.
Hewasdriv
ingusingmycar
.Iwastir
edof
fi
ghti
nghi
m soIfoll
owedev
eryi
nst
ructi
onhe
gaveme.
Zol
ani
:"
Iknewyouwil
lcomear oundthatwhatI
l
oveaboutyou,
awif
emat er
ialindeed"
Wewerest
ayi
ngnhi
shousesow3madnessI
t
ell
you.
Hei
sfol
l
owingmearound,ev
ery
whereIgohe
i
sher
eit
sfucki
ngannoyi
ngcozIcantescape.
ThreedayspassedIwasst
il
ltr
yingt
ocomeup
wit
hapl anofescapi
ng.
Peopl
ewer
est
il
ltal
ki
ngaboutt
henudesbuti
t
wasbet
tert
hant
hef
ir
standt
hesecondday
.
Wef i
nishedshootngthemov i
e,twodaysback
todaywewer egoingtothepartywhichwas
goingtobeat8pm.Zol aniwantedtoshow
appreci
ationandgrat
itut
etothecrew.
Luci
a:"
Wowy oulookstunni
ng"Iwasi
naback
openvelv
etdresswit
hasl i
twhi
chrev
eal
my
hour
glassbodynicel
y.
Ihadmyweav
eti
edni
cel
yinaneatbun
Me:
"Mx
m"
Luci
a:"
Stopbei
ngnast
y"
Zol
ani
wal
kedi
nlooki
ngal
lhandomel
enj
ale!
Zol
ani
:
"Wowy
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulmyl
adi
es"
Luci
a:"
Thanky
oubaby
"Sheki
ssedhi
scheek.
Zolani
:
"Shal
lwe"Heheldouthisar
mswe
hookedoursar
oundhisthem wemadeourway
out.Theli
mowasalreadyther
ewaiti
ngf
orus.
Wedr
ovet
othev
enue.
I
twaspackedIthoughti
twassmal
lpar
ty
nyanawi
thfewpeople.
Somejour
nlal
i
stambushedmeaswemadeour
ent
rance,
aski
ngaboutt
henudes.
Zol
ani
:
"Leav
eheral
one!
"
Journal
i
st:
"MrHadebeisi
ttr
uet haty
ouand
MissZwaneareanit
em andthatyouaret
he
onewhohadhernudes"Wekeptour
rel
ati
onshi
ppr
ivat
e.
Zol
ani
:
"Nocomment
..
.mov
e!mov
e!"
It
houghtIwi
l
ldot
hisbutnoi
tswast
oomuch
Me:"
Iwantt
ogohome"Iwhiperedi
nZol
ani
's
ear
,mytear
swer
ethr
eatni
ngt ocomeout
Zol
ani
:
"Youcantdothatdontmi
ndt
heset
hey
ar
edoingt
hei
rjobs"
Anot
heronecamei
nfr
ontofus
J2:
"MissZwaneisi
ttr
uethatyougott
hisbi
g
rol
ebeacauseyouar
esleepi
ngwithMrHadebe
whohappendt
obey
ourboss"
Me:
"Leav
emeal
onepl
ease"
Fi
nal
lywemanagey
ogeti
nsi
deandgr
eetone
anot
her
.
Thepar
tywentonf
inei
twast
imef
orZol
ani
to
makehi
sspeech.
Luci
awasnotwi
thmeany
mor
eIgazedar
ound
andmademywayout
.
Myhear
twasbeat
ingoutofmychest
.
"
Konke"
Ij
umpedi
nfr
ightandswi
rl
ed.
Me:
"Theo"Isai
dwi
thanunst
eadyv
oice
TheoistheguyI
m dat
inginthemov i
e,Muzido
yourememberhi
m?Wear efri
endsbutZol
ani
stoppedmetobehisf
riend.
Theo:
"I
m sor
ryIdi
dntmeant
ost
art
ley
ou"
Me:
"Sur
e"Itur
nedtowalkawayhehel
dmyar
m,
Iwi
nceditwasst
il
lpai
nful
.
Theo:
"I
m sorr
y"Hel
ookedatmywr
ist"
Whodi
d
thi
stoyou"
Me:"
Noonepleasel
etmegoIhav
etol
eav
e
asapTheo"
Theo:
"Youar
eshaki
ngKonkear
eyoual
ri
ght
?"
Me:
"Yesgobacki
nsi
de"
Theo:
"HayIwontl
eav
eyouunt
ily
out
ell
me
whati
sgoingon"
Me:
"GeeeTheol
eav
emet
hef
uckal
one!
"
Imademywayhef
oll
owdme
Theo:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Me:"
Youar
edelay
ingmeTheoIhav
etogo
bef
orehef
indsme"
Theo:
"Doy
ouhav
etr
anspor
tletmedr
ivey
ou"
Me:
"Idontwantt
ogety
oui
ntot
roubl
e"
Theo:
"Ii
nsi
st"
Me:
"Okay
"
Hewentrofet
chhi
scarIgoti
nthanwedrove
off
."Zol
ani
ist
heoneyouarer
unningaway
fr
om"
Me:"
Yes"Iwhi
sper
edt
ear
srol
l
ingoutofmy
ey
es.
Theo:
"I
shet
heonet
hathur
tyourwr
ist
?"
Me:
"Yeshei
si.
..
"Ibur
sti
ntoal
oudsob.
Theo:"Bastar
dwhywouldhedot hat
!"He
reachedf ormyhandandsqueezedi
t"Imreal
l
y
sorry.
..
youmustleavehi
m Konkebeforehedo
worset hanthi
s"
Me:"ThatwhatIam doi
ng.Canyoul
endmea
phoneIwanttocallmymot her
"
Theo:"Yeahsur
e"Hegav
emehi sphone.I
dialedmama'snumberi
trangunt
ili
twentto
voicemail.
It
ri
edsever
alti
mesandgott
hesamer
esul
t.I
di
aledmybrot
herhi
swasoff
.
Ther
eswasnoot
herwayIcal
l
eddaddy
.
Dad:"Hel
lo"Icoul
dhearpeopl
esingi
nginthe
backgroundwhichmeanstheywerebothat
churchthatiswhymamai snotanswer
ingher
phone
Me:"
BabaitsKonkepl
easedontdr
opthecal
l
"
Cwaka"Daddy"Iremovedt
hephnefr
om my
ear
.Greathehunguponme."Mydaddycanbe
anassshame"
Hel
aughed
Theo:"
Minei
sabi gass"Wegottohisplace.
"Youwantanyt
hingtoeatordr
inkInot
icedyou
didntt
ouchanyt
hingatthepar
ty"
Me:"
Im nothungryIjustwanttosl
eepIhaveto
wakeupear l
ytomorrowandgohome.Wi l
lyou
domeonel astfavourplease"
Theo:
"Any
thi
ngf
ory
ouMazwane"Ichuckl
ed
Me:"
Ilef
tmybelongi
ngsi
nZolani
'
shouseIdont
hav
ecashwi t
hme.Canyoulendmesome
moneyfort
ranspor
t"
Theo:
"Iwi
l
ldr
ivey
out
her
edontwor
ry"
Me:"Noyoudonthav
etoTheoy
ouhav
edone
enough"
Theo:
"Iwantt
ohel
pyouKuhl
ekonke"
Me:
"ThanksIowey
ou"
Theo:
"Dontwor
ry.
.l
etmeshowy
ouy
ourr
oom"
Wemadeourwayt hr
oughthepassageand
ent
eredthebedroom whi
chhadabat hr
oom."If
youneedanythi
ngshoutmybedroom isnext
door
"
Me:
"Thanky
ouonceagai
n"
Hesmi
l
edr
eveal
i
nghi
sonedi
mpl
e.
Theo:
"St
opt
hanki
ngmeal
ready
"
Ichuckl
ed"
Goodni
ght
"
Me:
"Ni
ght
"Hewal
kedout
.
Isi
ghedheav
il
yanduncl
othed.Theobar
gei
n
Theo:"
OhUhI m sorryIcametogivey
out hi
sto
sl
eepwi th"Hethrewhist-
shir
tandwalkedout
quickl
y.Igoti
ntobedandpr ayedf
orthefir
st
ti
mesi ncetheyearstar
ted.
Af
termyl
ongpr
ayerIr
eti
redt
olal
aland.
"
Youthi
nkyouwil
lrunawayf
rom mehuh!
!"He
mar
chedtowar
dsme
Me:
"I
m sor
ryZol
ani
!"Icr
iedhest
rangl
edme.
"Konke!Konke!
"someoneshookmeIj
umped
up,panti
ngIwasdrenchedwit
hsweat
Theo:
"I
tsokayi
twasj
ustadream"Hepul
l
ed
meinhisarmsandembracedme.
Heal
wayssmel
lsoni
cewhichmakehi
s
embr
acemorewel
coming
Ical
m downmi
nut
esl
ater
Me:
"Whatt
imei
sitnow?
"
Theo:
"3ocl
ocki
nthemor
ning"
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orwaki
ngmeupt
hatbast
ard
al
mostki
l
ledmei
nmysl
eep"
Theo:"
Ihat
ehimf
ory
ouy
az.Icantst
and
abusersar
g!"
Me:
"Idontknowwhathappenedt
othesweet
Zol
ani
."
Theo:"
Somebast
ardsdontreal
i
zehowlucky
theyaret
ohavepeopl
elikeyouint
hei
rli
ves
nx."
Wecarri
edont al
ki
ngandl
aughingunt
ilIf
all
asl
eep.Theoi
salwaysagr
eatcompany.
Thenextmorni
ngIwokeup.Theo'
sarm was
wrappedar
oundmywaisthi
sguywaspoki ng
meonmybut tmaki
ngmeuncomf ort
abl
e.
Ir
emov
edhi
sar
m ar
oundmesl
owl
y
Theo:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Me:
"Tohav
eabat
h"
Theo:
"WedonthavetowakeupearlyIwi
l
ldr
ive
youmos.Letsl
eepforanhourorso"
Me:
"ButI
"
Theo:
"Pl
ease"
Me:"
Okay"Hepul
l
edmecl
oset
ohi
msel
f.We
f
all
aseepagai
n.
Wewer
ewokenupbyal
oudbangandshout
s.
"
Konke!
..
.wher
ear
eyouIknowy
ouar
eher
e!"
Me:"
Ohnoheisherewhatam goi
ngt
odo
Theo"myhear
tbeatr
aced
Theo:
"Hewonttouchyou"Justt
hent
hedoor
swungopen.Thebeastwalkedi
ncar
ryi
ngagun.
Zol
ani
:
"Howcosyhuh.
"
Theo:
"Howdi
dyougeti
nZol
ani
"
Zol
ani
:"
Dontaskmeshitwena.Icamet
ofet
ch
mygir
lf
ri
endKonkel
etsgo"
Me:
"Idontwantt
ogowi
thy
ouZol
ani
"
Theo:
"Youhear
dhersol
eav
e"
Zol
ani
:
"Fucky
ouasshol
e!"HeshotTheoonhi
s
f
orehead,
Iscr
eamedi
nshock.
[
05/
31,
08:
14]W:
06
KUHLEKONKE
•
OhGodwhathav
eIdonewhydi
dIal
l
owhi
mto
hel
pme.
Ishoul
dhav
elef
tal
onehewoul
dbeal
i
venow.
Me:"
Zolaniwhydidyouki
l
lhi
m"Icr
iedhol
ding
Theo'
slif
elessbodyi
nmyarms
"
Why
?WhyZol
ani
?Hedi
dntdoany
thi
ngwr
ong"
Zolani
:"
Youseewhaty oumademetodoyou
see!"Heroar
ed,paci
ngupanddownrubbi
ng
hisgunonhishead.
Me:
"Pl
easedontdi
eTheopl
ease"Il
etouta
l
oudsob
Zol
ani
:
"Shutt
hef
uckupIwantt
othi
nk!
"
Icri
edinsi
lencet
hinki
ngaboutTheo'
s3y
ear
olddaught
erandhisli
tt
lesi
ster
.
Thei
rfat
herl
eftt
heirlat
emom whenshewas
car
ryi
nghisl
i
ttl
esister.
Theowastheonewhowaspayingf
orherl
i
ttl
e
si
sfeesandtaki
ngcar
eofheraswel
l.
Whoi
sgoi
ngt
otakecar
eoft
hem now?
Thi
sissopai
nfi
ulhowwil
lIl
i
vewi
thaf
actt
hat
Theodi
edbecauseofme.
OhLordpleasef
orgi
vemey
ouknowInev
er
meantthi
stohappen.
Iwasst
art
ledbyhi
shandst
ouchi
ngme
Zolani
:
"Sshdontcr
y..
Im sor
ryy
ouwi
tnessme
shooti
ngsomeone..l
etsgo"
Me:"
NoIdontwantt
ogo!Weneedgot
othe
pol
i
ceZolani
".
Zolani
:"
Areyousickyouwantmet ogot
oj ai
l?
I
m notgoingtojail
thi
sbast
ardwenttoofar.I
gavehim achancetoshowhistal
entwi
thout
quali
fi
cati
onsandthishowherepaymeby
fucki
ngmygi r
lf
ri
end!!
"
Me:
"Wedi
dntf
uckZol
ani
"
Zol
ani
:
"Let
sgonow!
"
Me:
"I
m notgoi
ngwi
thy
ou!
"
Zolani
:
"Thenweall
dieher
e.Iwi
l
lki
l
lyouand
thenki
llmysel
f"
Thi
sguyiscr
azyhewil
ldoi
t.I
'
m notr
eadyt
o
di
enotnowplease.
Irol
l
edoutofbedandchangedi
ntomydr
ess
"
Hurryup!
"
Ifi
nishedgetti
ngdr
essed,
hegr
abbedmyhand
thenwewal kedout
.
Wegoti
noneofhi
scar
sanddr
oveof
f.
Iwascry
ingal
lthedayl
ooki
ngoutoft
he
window.
Howwi
l
lIbef
reef
rom t
hist
ort
ure.
"
Stopcr
yingmyl
ove"Hesqueezedmyt
high.
Wear
ri
vedathi
spl
aceandgoti
n.
Luci
arant
omeandgav
emeahug
Luci
a:"
Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
out
hankGody
ou
areal
ive"
Zolani
:
"Luci
atakegoodcareofherIhav
efew
thi
ngstosolveIwi
llbebackali
tt
lel
ater
"
Luci
a:"
Okaybaby
"
Heki
ssedourf
oreheadsandwal
kedout
"
Youl
ookt
err
ibl
ewher
ewer
eyou?
"
Me:"Leav
emeareal
one!
"Iburstint
otear
smy
kneesgavei
nIdr
oppedonthefloorandcri
ed.
Luci
a:"
Konkesthandwasamiwhathappened"
Sheengulf
edmewi thahugIyankedheroffbut
sheti
ghtenhergri
p.
If
eltl
ikeIwasruni
ningoutofoxy
gen."
Breat
h
Konkepleasey
oucantdieZolani
wil
lki
llme"
It
ookdeepfewbreat
hsunti
lIr
egai
nmynor
mal
br
eat
hing."
come"Shehel
pedmeup.
Me:
"Iwantt
otakeashower
"Iwentt
othe
bat
hroom t
ohav
eal
ongshowercr
yingmyass
out
.
•
ZOLANI
•
Zol
ani
hadebet
hat
'smynamebutmyfr
iends
cal
lmeZol
amybabycal
lmeHadie.
OhhowIl ovei
twhenshecal
lmet
hatwi
thher
sweetangel
i
cvoice.
Kuhl
ekonkeisthel
oveofmyl
i
feIcantI
magi
ne
myli
fewithouther
.
Soyoumustbewonder
ingwhatam Idoi
ngwi
th
herf
ri
end.
Well
myf at
herhav
etwowi v
esand10chil
dren.
5fr
om Mamawhoi stheseniorwi
feand5fr
om
t
heotherwif
e.
Imtheonl
ysontheother9ar
eal
lgi
rl
ssoy
ou
canImagi
nethepr
essure.
Kwamel
engi
khul
i
sei
sbongosaki
thi
andf
oll
ow
mytr
adi
ti
on.
Thisthi
ngbet
weenLuci
aandIst
art
edtwo
yearsagobef
oreIev
engav
ehert
hejob.
Tr
uthisi
tsst
artedasanhonestmi
stakewe
werebot
hdrunk.
Onemist
akel
edt
oanot
hermi
staket
hani
t
becameanor
m.
Dontgetmewrongmybabyi
shoti
nbedbut
Luci
aisonanot
herl
evel
.
Youtel
lyour
sel
fthati
twast
hel
astt
imebut
youkeepgoi
ngformore.
Ilov
eKonkeandIl
ikeLuci
asowhynotmake
them asmywi
ves.
Goodt hi
ngistheyar
efri
endstheyknoweach
otherandtheylov
eeachothersoitwil
lbeeasy
forthem t
oaccepteachother
.
Iwill
affor
dbot
hofthem ont
opoftheHadie'
s
StudiosIownafewbusi
nesssoI
tssafetosay
Iwil
ltakev
erygoodcar
eoft
hem t
heywon'
t
evenhavetowork.
Lastni
ghtwewereatthepar
tywhenIcame
backfr
om thef
rontt
odeli
vermyspeechKonke
wasnowher et
obeseen.
Ipanickedandaskedaround,Lydawhoisone
ofthescriptwri
ter
stol
dmet hatshesawher
wit
hTheoout si
deaft
erhoursofpanicki
ng
whichisthereasonwhyIgotthereinthe
mor ni
ng.
IwasfumingIknewthatboywantmyKonkeI
havebeenwatchi
ngthewayhelookedather
anditdi
dnthel
pthattheywer
eacti
ngascouple.
Icantl
oseKonkemyl
i
fewi
l
lbeov
erwi
thout
her.
Iwasdr
ivi
ngt
oTheo'
shouset
odi
tchhi
sbody
.
Ihadl
ockedhi
shouset
omakeitsur
enoone
geti
nthewhil
eIt
akeKonket
omyhouse.
DontaskmehowdoIhav
eaccesst
ohi
skey
s.
Whenamanspendmostofhi
sti
mewithy
our
womanyouhav
etokeepaneyeonhi
m.
Itookhi
sbodyandrol
l
editwi
thacar
pet.I
drovemycari
nhisgar
agetomakesurenoone
seemet hr
owi
nghisbodyi
nmyboot.
Il
eftev
ery
thi
ngunsuspi
ciousanddr
iveout
.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Iknowmyfri
endt
wot ot
hreegl
assesofwi
ne
shedozeof
fandshecanbedom shame
Wewerehav
ingwi
neLaughi
ngandt
alki
ngl
i
ke
ol
dti
mes.
Imadeherbeli
evet
hatIwil
ltr
ytoacceptt
his
madnessbi
tchissogul
li
blebuti
sthi
sskil
lI
hav
eforacti
ngIswearyouwouldhavebel
ieved
metoo.
Justl
i
keIknowhershedozedof
font
hecouch
ekhami
senokukhamisaunkabiIwentt
opack
myclot
hes.It
ookeveryt
hingandmycarkeys.
Il
oadedmybagsanddroveout.Thesecur
it
y
gavemehar
dtimeIof
feredhim abri
behelet
mego.
Idi
dntknowIcanspeedli
ket
hat
,Iwasdri
vi
ng
l
ikeamaniacl
uckyther
ewasnotraf
fi
c.
Iar
ri
vedathomeandt
hrewmy
sel
finmy
mama'sarms.
mom:"Babywhati
swr
ong"Wewer
eint
he
l
oungeonthesofa
Me:
"Zol
ani
Mama"Iwai
l
ed
Mom:
"Whatdi
dhedo?
"
Me:
"Hehehe"Icoul
dntt
alksheal
l
owedmet
o
l
eti
tal
loutwetti
ngherbl
ouse.
Mom:"It
sgoi
ngt
obeokayshhh"Sheki
ssedmy
f
orehead.
"
Final
l
ythi
sHadebeboydeci
dedt
odot
her
ight
t
hing"sai
ddadashewal
kedi
nlooki
ngl
i
kehei
s
i
nagoodmood.
Ipray
edwi t
hinmysel
fthathedoesn'
tthr
owme
outcozIreall
ydi
dn'
twanttobealonewhere
Zol
ani wi
l
l f
indmeandbullyme.
Dad:
"Awnt
ombi yami
Im happyy
ouar
ehome"
Hesmil
edwidel
y
WaitdidIheart
hatr
ight
?Il
ookedathi
m
sur
prised
Mom:"Whatdoy
oumeanZol
ani
didt
her
ight
t
hing"
Dad:
"Ij
ustreci
evedacal
lfrom hi
sUncl
ethey
ar
ecomi ngtomorr
owforlobol
anegoti
ati
ons"
Hesmiled
Me:
'
Whatno!Thati
snotgoi
ngt
ohappen"
Dad:
"Whatdoy
oumean"
Me:"
Idon'
tl
oveZol
ani
any
mor
ebabahei
san
ani
mal"
Dad:"Dontbestupi
dwhoisgoingt
omar r
yyou
afteryourpr
ivat
epart
shavebeenseenby
thousandsofpeoplet
hisboyr
eall
ylov
eyou."
Me:"DaddyZolaniiscrazy.Hei
sdat
ingLuci
a
andI.Heisf or
cingmet ostayi
nthi
s
rel
ati
onship.Ican'
t"Icri
ed
Mom:"Hedidwhat?Udakiwe!Mangetheyou
hear
dourdaughtershedoesnotwantZol
ani
anymorecal
lhi
sUncleandtel
lhim Zol
ani
must
gotohell
"
Dad:"
ItoldyouZinzil
ethatKonkewi l
l i
nt r
oduce
oneboyt ousandIaskedy ouar eyousur ethi
s
boyistheonef orherwhycan' tshewai tunti
l
sheisoldenoughandy ousai dyes.Howmany
boyf
riendsKonkehav edat ed?Shei sbusywi t
h
boysafterboysI'm endingt hi
snonsensenow.
Ever
yguycheatshemustgetuset oi t
.The
l
obolanegotiat
ionswi l
lbet omorrowf inishand
kl
aar.Ntombi yamiyoumadet hi
sbedsol ieon
i
t.Youhav ealr
eadycausedhumi li
ationi nthi
s
f
amil
yy ouaregoi
ngtobeZol
ani
'
swifeand
t
hat
'sthat!
!"Hest
oodupandwal
ked

[
05/
31,
08:
14]W:
07
KUHLEKONKE
•
Il
ookedatdaddyashewalkedoutandt hat
momentIfelthat
ebui
ldi
nginmeforev ery
per
sonthathaveatai
lbet
weenthelegs.
Whydotheyt
hinkt
heyar
eent
it
ledt
orul
eusor
cont
rol
usaswomen.
Wewaypassthatti
memaanwherewomen
wer
eoppr
essedbymenbutther
earesome
menwhoarest
il
lli
vi
ngi
nthepast.
Whyar
eweallowi
ngthatwomen?Whydowe
l
ett
hem f
eel
li
ketheyareent
it
ledt
orul
eus.
Takeal
ookatMamashei
sapr
inci
pal
ofa
schooli
magi nehowbigpowerfuland
respect
fult
hatpositi
oni
tisbutwhenshe
comeshomeshebowdownherheadf ordaddy,
obeyhim eventhoughshedoesnotli
kewhatit
s
goingon.
"Hei
stheheadofthi
shomemychild"That
's
whatsheal
wayssaywhenIaskherwhydoes
sheal
wayshavetoagreewi
thhi
m event
hough
shei
shurti
ng.
Okayheisheadbutaheadisusel
esswi
thouta
neck.Theneckmakei
tpossibl
efort
heheadto
mov esar
ound.
Thenlet'
scomebacktome,Ihav
ebeen
all
owingZolani
tobul
lymeandobeyhi
m ev
en
thoughIwashurti
ng.
Wear egivi
ngthem t
oomuchpoweroverusI'
m
putt
inganendi nt
hisI'
m notgoi
ngt
obethat
asshole'
swife.
Forf
ewdaysIhadenoughofZol
anisocany
ou
I
maginehowther
estofmylif
ewil
lbe?
I'
m nosomebody
'st
oyIwon'tal
l
owt
hatki
nda
shithappent
omeeveragai
n.
Me:"
I'
m notgoingt ogetmarr
iedt
oZol
ani
Mamay ourhusbandneedtogett
hati
nhi
s
t
hickstubbornhead!"
Mom:"Youar
ebei
ngr
udenowt
hat
'
syour
f
ather
!"
Me:"Whatki
ndofafat
hert
hatmar
ryof
fhi
sonl
y
daught
ertoadevi
l.
"
Mom:"YoumakeItsoundli
kethi
sisan
ar
rangedmar
riageyouareinl
ovewitht
hisboy
"
YouseewhatIt
oldy
ou
Me:"
That'
sapastMamaIwantnot
hingthatgot
t
odowi t
ht hatguy
.Hei
sasi
ckabusiv
etwisted
j
erkass"
Mom: "
Luciai
stheonethatwanttodest
royyour
rel
ati
osnhi
pwi t
hZolani
.Sheenvyyoubabyand
Ihaveneverl
ikeher
."
Me:
"Youar
enotl
i
steni
ngt
omewoman!
"
Mom: "I
st hishowy out al
ktomenow?What
yourfathersayitstrueKonke.Your
rel
ati
onshi psneverlasty oujumptooneboyt o
anotherwher eisselfrespectandi
ntegri
ty?We
areav eryrespecti
fulfami l
ywhatyoudoingis
draggi
ngournamedown.Howwi l
lpeopleint
he
churchtakeusser iouswhenourchi l
drendothe
oppositeofwhatwepr each."
Me:"Wowt ypi
calofyoustandi
ngwit
hyour
husband.It
snotmyf aultt
heseboy
scan'tkeep
aladya..
."Sheint
erj
ected
Mom:
"Ori
tst
heot
herwayar
ound"
Me:"
YouknowwhatIseewhi chsideyouhave
t
aken.Letmegetthi
scleart
oy ou.Thi
sisthe
l
astti
mey ouseet
hisface"
Igotupbutshepul
l
edmebackont
hecouch
Mom:
"Babyy
oudon'
tmeant
hat
"
Me:
"OhIdoMamawhycan' ty
oust
andupf
or
metoyourhusbandhuh?
"
Mom: "Arethi
ngsthatbadbet
weeny ouand
Zolani?MinanjeIseeLuci
aasthecauseoft hi
s
don'tall
owhertosabotageyourr
elati
onshi
p
wit
hZol ani"
Me: "
Thingsar
ev erybad, superbad.Heisnot
cheatingMamahei sforcingmet ostaywit
h
him andacceptthatLuciai shissi
de.WhenItel
l
himt ofuckof
fhemanhandl emeMamaI
remembert hi
sot herdayhef orcemet o.
.t
o.to
have3somehest r
angledmeIsawmyl i
fe
endingIhadnochoi cebutt oagree.I
twasso
disgusti
ngand..
."Iburstintotears
Mom:
"Ohbabywhyy
oudi
dn'
ttel
lmeal
loft
his"
Me:"Howcoul dIhavet ol
dy oucozhemade
surethatIcontactnobody.Hei sal
way s
fol
lowingmear oundt omakesur ethatIdon't
runway .Yester
daywewer eatthepartythat
whenIsawmychancet orunawayandIdi d
withahelpofmycol league.Hewasgoi ngto
dri
vemeher etodaybutZol ani
foundusand
ki
..
kil
l
edhi
m Mamai
nfr
ontofme.Hess.
sshot
hi
m"
Mom:"YhoZolani
iscr
azymoshemustgot
o
j
ail
forthi
s!"
Me:"
Zolani wil
lmaket hi
sgoawayi nsecondsi t
won'tkeephi m away.Ir
ememberhi ssister
ki
ll
edherhusbandwi thi
nsecondsthesi ster
wasoutofj ail
.HeisgoingtokillmeMamai fI
cont
inuet ostayinthisr
elat
ionshi
pIcan' tmarr
y
hi
mt alktoy ourhusbandplease"Iletoutasob,
shepulledmet oherchestandembr acedme.
Mom: "
Youknowhowst
ubbor
nyourf
atheri
s
Konke"
Me:
"Soyougoi
ngt
owat
chmegetmar
ri
edt
oa
monst
er?"
Ihear
dherbr
eat
hingoutl
oudl
y.
"
It
sfinel
etmer
unawaykunconost
artanew
l
i
fe..
."
Mom:
"Youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
eKonke,
what
wi
l
lIbewi
thouty
ou"
Me:
"Atl
easty
ouwi
l
lknowI
'
m al
i
veandsaf
e"
Mom: "
NoI'
m notl
ett
ingy
out
ogo"shewas
cr
yingnow
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMama"
Mom: "NoI'm sorr
ybabyforthepai
ny ouwent
through.Ifeelt
erri
bley
ouwentt hr
oughall
of
that.Ohmypoorbaby .
..
"shecri
ednowIwas
comf ort
ingher.
"Mamzooo! "Weheardhisvoi
cebeforewesaw
hisface.Heisalwaysi
najoll
ymoodbutwhen
hesawuscr yi
nghegotworri
ed."Heywhati
s
goingonwhyy outwoarecry
ing"Hewalkedto
usandcr ouchedbefor
eus
Me:
"Wear
efi
neMv
elo"
Mv
elo:
"I
tsdadi
sn'
t?Whathav
ehedonenow!
"
Mvel
oanddadar enotgett
ingal
ong.Daddyisa
cont
rol
freakhewantustodowhatpleaseshim
andMveloisst
ubbornl
ikedaddyhecanttake
daddy
'sdemandssohemov
edout
.
Mom:
"Boycal
m down.I
tsgoodt
oseey
ou"
Mv el
o:"Pit
yIcan'
tsaythesaysamecozIfound
myt wof avour
it
ewomencr yingandwhenthey
cryIlosemymi ndIfeell
ikekil
l
ingsomebi
tch
assnigga...
"
Mom:
"Languageboy
"
Mvelo:
"Sor
rymamzosoar
eyounotgoi
ngt
o
t
ell
mewhathappened"
Mom:"Yougotnothi
ngtowor
ryabout.I
'
m so
happymybabiesareher
eImissedyouguys"
shesmil
ed
Me:
"Wemi
ssy
out
oo"
Mv
elo:
"YounotmeIwasher
eyest
erday
"
Mom:
"Buti
tsf
eel
sli
kei
twasy
ear
sback"
Mv
elor
oll
edhi
sey
es
Me:
"Hahl
ookwhoi
srol
l
inghi
sey
es"
Mv
elo:
"Mer
oll
i
ngey
esnev
ert
hat
'
sgay
"
Mom andIbur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
"Akusemnandinj
engaphandl
ekwami"(How
niceiti
swit
houtme)saiddaddyashe
appeared
Mv
elo:
"Whi
chmeansy
ouar
enotneeded"
Mom:
"Hay
iMv
elo"
Dad:
"Whatwer
eyouguy
stal
ki
ngabout"
Mv
elo:
"I
fwewant
ed.
..
."
Mom:
"Mv
elomaan!
"
Mv
elo:
"Youknowwhatt
hat
'smycue"
Dad:
"Gobef
oreIbr
eaky
ourj
aw"
Mv
elo:
"Iwi
l
lli
ket
oseey
out
ry"
Dad:
"Yewenamfana!"(
Heyboy!)Hegrabbed
Mvel
owi thhi
scl
othesandpressedhi
m against
t
hewal l
.
Mom gotupf
rom t
hecoucht
opul
ldaddyaway
f
rom Mvel
o
Mom:
"Pl
easecal
m downZi
kode"
Dad:"
Iwi
l
l ki
ll
thi
sboyhei
sver
ydi
srespect
ful
!
"
HeletMvelol
ose.
Mom:
"Apol
ogi
set
oyourf
atherMv
elo"
Mv
elo:
"Mxm"Hewal
kedout
.
Dad:
"YouseeZinz
ilethatisal
lyourwor
k.You
maketheseki
dsdisrespectme.
.."Mom cuthi
m
of
f
Mom:
"That
'sunf
air
..
."
Dad:
"Don'
ti
nter
ruptmewhenI
'
mtal
ki
ng!
"
Igotupfrom t
hecouchandheadedtomy
bedroom l
eavi
ngthem t
oargue.Heyev
ery
one
thi
sismyf amil
y.
Af
tersomet
imet
heshout
ingsqui
etendown.
Myst omachgr owledIrol
l
edoutofbedand
walkedoutIhear dmoanscomingfr
om my
parentsbedroom asImademywayt othe
ki
tchen.Great!JustGreat
!
Iwashedmyhandsandmademy sel
fakot a.
ThesedaysInev
erwat chhowdoIeat.Ipoura
l
it
chjuicei
ntheglassbefor
esi
tt
ingdownand
at
e.
Mom wal
kedi
namomentl
ater
.
Mom: "
I'
m gladyouar
eeat
ingIknowyouarea
l
ighteaterbutwheny
ouaresadyoudon'
teatat
all
.
"
Me:
"Iwon'
tst
arv
emy
sel
fforadogl
i
keZol
ani
"
Mom:"Hur
ryupsot
haty
oucanhel
pmewi
th
cooki
ng"
Il
ookedathersheknowsIhat
ecooki
ng.
Me:
"DoIhav
eto?
"
Mom:
"Ohy
esmydear
"Shest
art
edpr
epar
ing
Me:
"I
sthathowi
tshoul
dbe?
"Idr
ankmyj
uice
Mom:
"Mmh?
"
Me:
"Imeani
sthatwhatar
ey out
eachi
ngmet
o
dot
hatwhenmyhusbandblamesmef or
ever
ythi
nghedidi
thi
mselfImustgivehi
mt he
cooki
ethanal
li
swellj
ustl
iket
hat"Isnapped
myf i
nger
s
Herey
esshotup
Mom:"Youar
eachi
l
dknowy
ourpl
acedoy
ou
hearme!"
Me:
"Yesl
oudandcl
ear
"Ibangedt
hegl
asson
t
hecount
ermaki
nghertol
ookatme.
Mom:
"Chopt
hev
eggi
es"
Me:
"Yesma'
am"
Mom:
"Don'
tst
artmeKonke!
"
Me:
"Whatnow?MosI
'
m bei
ngachi
l
d"
Shecli
ckedhertoungeandconti
nuedwith
whatevershewasdoingasIstar
tedchopping
veggi
es.
Around7pm wedishupandate.Daddywas
tal
kingabouthowproudhei
sthatIwil
lget
marriedwarawaraIwant
edtopuke.Whenwe
f
ini
shIcol
l
ect
edt
hedi
shesandwashedt
hem.
Iwai
tedf
ort
hem t
osl
eepandchangedmypj
s.
Iwor
eAdi
dast
racksui
tsandNi
kesneaker
s.
Iti
edmyweaveint
oaponyt ai
landwheel
edmy
l
uggageheadi
ngout.Ipumpedint
oMamaon
thedoor
.
Me:
"UhMa"
Mom:"Ssshh"shesai
dput
ti
ngafingeronher
mouth"LookbabyIhavesomeonewhoi s
goi
ngtokeepy ousaf
ewhil
eIfi
gureoutwhat
do.Comelet'
sgonow"
WemadeourwayoutIsawacarpar
ked
out
sidet
hegat
e.
Me:
"Whoi
sthatper
sonMama"
Mom:
"Hei
sgoodf
ri
endofmi
ne"
Me:"
It
sahekant
i?Idon'
ttr
ustmenwhati
fhe
hur
tme"
Mom:
"ComeonKonkedoy
out
hinkIwi
l
lsend
youtosomeonewhowi
l
lhar
myou?Youar
e
hurt
ingme"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMama"
Mom:
"I
tsokaybaby
"
Wegott
ot hecarmom openthebackdoorand
puti
nmyluggagethancl
osedit
.
Sheopenedt
hepassengerdoorf
orme"
Geti
n"
Ist
eppedinsi
deofthecart
hansheclosedt
he
doorbef
oregoingt
otheothersi
deofthedr
iver
wholoweredthewi
ndow.
Mom:
"Thanky
ouf
ordoi
ngt
hisf
orme"
Him:
"Youdon'
thav
etot
hankmey
ouknowt
hat
r
ight
"
Mom:"
Wellyeah"Therewassilencefora
momentunti
lIheardmom clearingherthr
oat"
I
wi
ll
checkyouupi nthemorningprincess"
Me:
"OkayMa"
Mom:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
ooMama"
Af
tert
hatweleftwit
hmom l
ooki
ngatusunt
il
wewereoutofsight
.
Hi
m:"
Hel
l
oKuhl
ekonke"
Me:
"Hi
"
Idon'
ttr
ustt
hismanbutIt
rustmymom.
Thedri
vewassi
lence,wearr
ivedathi
shouse
whichi
sabeaut
ifuldoubl
estorey
.
Hecar
ri
edmyl
uggageaswemadeourwayi
n.
I
t'
sev
enmor
ebeaut
if
ulwheny
ouar
einsi
de.
Him:"
Welcomefeelathome"Helookedatme
asifhewassearchi
ngsomethi
nginmyey es.
That
'swhenIgottol
ookathim dzanghowcan
oneper
sonbethishandsomemar a.
Heissemi l
ightskinwithhazel
browney es,
bushyeyebrowsandni cetr
immedbear dwhich
exposedhisperfect
lyshapedpinkli
ps,so
yummyi fImayadd." Areyoustil
lwit
hme"
Me:
"Uhm y
es"Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:"
Comet
hisway
"
Heledmetoabeaut
if
ulbedr
oom wi
tha
bat
hroom.
"Thi
sisyourbedr
oom youdon'
twantmet
o
changeanythi
ngmaybe?"
Me:"
Noit
sokayt
hanks"Isai
droami
ngmyey
es
ar
ound.
Hi
m:"
Iwi
l
lleav
eyout
oit
.Goodni
ght
"
Me:
"Goodni
ght
"Hesmi l
edshowi
nghi
swhi
te
t
eet
hthenhewalked.
Sigh.Iuncl
othedandsl
i
ppedi
ntobl
anket
s
naked.
Themomentmyheadhi
tthepi
l
lowIdozeof
f.
Thenextmor
ningIwaswokenupbyt
heur
get
o
pee.
Idraggedmysel
foutoft
hebedandshuffl
edt
o
thebathr
oom wher
eIpeed.Iwentbackt
othe
bedroom andt
ookmyt
oil
etr
iest
henwentt
o
haveashower.
Ifi
nishedandworeal
eggi
ngs,l
oseT-
shi
rtand
pushins.Thear
omaofbaconfi
ll
edmynostri
l
s
asImademywayt ot
heki
tchenmystomach
compl ai
ned.
Themanwasmakingbr
eakf
astwear
ingaj
ean
andanapr
ononl
y.
Hi
m:"
Mor
ningpr
incess"
Me:
"Mor
ningsi
rit
'ssmel
l
sdel
i
ciousi
nher
e"
Hi
m:"
Comeandsi
tdownIwi
l
ldi
shupf
ory
ou"
Isatdownont
hehi
ghchai
r."
Howdi
dyou
sl
eep?"
Me:
"Isl
eptwel
landy
ou?"
Him:
"Isl
eptwel
ltoo"Hedishedupf orbot
hof
usandpourmangojui
ceintheglasses.
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tgety
ournamesi
r"
Hi
m:"
OhI
m sor
rymynamei
sUncl
e"Il
ookedat
hi
m hesmi
l
ed,
hehav
eagor
geoussmi
l
e.
Me:
"Okaymal
umeuncl
e"Hel
aughed
Him:
"Enj
oyyourbreakf
ast
"Hepl
acedmypl
ate
andj
uicei
nfrontofme
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Wit
houtawasteofti
meIate
myfood"Mmmh"Imoaned"Youaregoodi
n
t
hekit
chenmal
umeuncle"
Him:"It
ry"Hetookof ft
heapr onexposi
nghis
buffbody,tor
tureItellyou.It
ri
ednottostar
e
butaynomaani yabukekalentoephambkwami.
Hesatacrossmeandst art
edeat
ing.Icouldn'
t
stopsteal
inggl
ancesunt i
lhi
stat
tooonhi s
chestcaughtmyattent
ion.
Me:
"I
sthatmyname?
"
Hi
m:"
Huh?
"Ieyedhistat
too.Hegotupand
t
ookt
heapronthenwearitqui
ckl
y."
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"Whydoy
ouhav
emynameony
ourchest
?"
Hi
m:"
Don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
fyouar
enott
heonl
y
Kuhl
ekonkei
nthewor
ld!
"Hest
ormedoutok-
-ay
.
[
05/
31,
08:
14]W:
08
KUHLEKONKE
•
WasIwr ongtoaskwhydoeshehavemyname
onhischest?ImeanIdontt
hinki
tsa
conci
edencebutletmenotr
eadtoomuchi
nto
thi
smay beheisahugefan.
Icouldntlethi
sfoodgoi
ntowast
esoIat
ehi
s
breakfasttoo.
Themancancookshamehiswi
fei
sthe
l
ucki
estwomani
ntheworl
d.
Idr
ankmyj
uiceandbur
pedl
oudl
y.
Icol
l
ect
edt
hedi
rt
ydi
shesandwashedt
hem.
I
twasntneccessar
yf ormet
ocl
eant
hehouse
wasi
mmacul atewhichmakemewonderwhoi
s
t
aki
ngcareofthehouse.
IfoundmywaytotheTVroom andsatont
he
couch,cat
chi
nguponsoapi
es.
If
eltsomeone'
seyesonmeIlookedupt
her
e
hewaswearingaslongsl
eev
et-shi
rt
.
Me:"
Im sor
rymal
umeuncl
eifIwaswr
ongf
or
aski
ng"
Hesai
dnot
hingandsatopposi
teme.
"
Howdoy
ouknowmymom"
Hi
m:"
Shei
smyf
ri
end"
Me:
"Si
ncewhen?
"
Hi
m:"
From t
uka"
Me:
"HowcomeIhav
enev
erhear
dabouty
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ihav
entbeenar
oundf
ory
ear
s"
Me:"
Whatwi
l
lyourwi
fesayi
fshef
indme
her
e?"
Hi
m:"
Eyy
ouaskt
oomuchquest
ionsy
err
"
Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"I
m nat
ural
l
yinqui
sit
ive"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nky
ouar
epr
ying"
Me:
"Mx
m"
Hel
aughed.
"Doyoumindtol
endmey
ourcarIdon'
thav
e
anygadget
s"
Hi
m:"
Youcantgoout
"
Me:
"Whynot
?"
Hi
m:"
Youar
enotsaf
eyet
"
Me:
"SoIwi
l
lst
ayher
efort
her
estofmyl
i
fe?
"
Hi
m:"
Yousuchadr
amaqueenofcour
senot
"
Me:"Comeonmalumeuncl
eI'
m bor
edher
eand
Ineedtocheckmyemai
ls"
Him:
"Howcany
oubebor
edwhi
l
eI'
m her
ewi
th
you"
Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Mosy
ouar
eli
tt
leupt
ightt
ell
memor
e
abouty
our
sel
fyouseem l
i
keai
nter
est
ingman"
Hi
m:"
Arey
ouchecki
ngmeout
"
Il
aughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughedunt
ilIwasoutof
br
eath
Me:
"Youar
ehandsomenodoubtaboutt
hat
mar
aumdalamalumeuncl
e"
Him:"
HayI'
m notol
dmina"hefr
ownedand
hurl
edthecushi
onatmeIgiggl
ed.
Me:"
Onaseriousnot
emalumeuncl
eIr
eal
l
y
needaphonemakeaplantu"
Him:"
Okay"Hetookhisphoneandmadeacall
,
summoningthatper
son.Al i
tt
lebi
tlat
ert
het
all
darkski
nnedguyarr
ived.
Guy
:"Konke!
"Hecoul
dn'
thel
phi
msel
fbutpul
l
ed
mehisinarms.
Hi
m:"Heyheyhey!Whatt
hefuckarey
oudoi
ng
Mzeet!
"Hepull
edtheguyawayfr
om me.
Mzeet
:"
Uhm sor
rybossIcoul
dn'
thel
pmy
sel
f
I
'
m ahugef
anofKonke"
Him:"
Isummonedyouhereandyouharrasmy
guest!
!"Hesl
appedhi
m sohardsendi
nghim
reel
i
ngbackward
Me:"Real
l
ymalumeuncle?Hei
safanyoudidn'
t
havetoslaphi
m geez
"Ihel
dMzeet
'scheek
"Ar
ey ouokay?
"
Mzeet
:"
Uhm y
es"
Hi
m:"
Stayoutoft
hisKuhl
ekonke!
"
Me:"
Youar
eat
tacki
ngmyf
anIcan'
tst
ayoutof
t
his!
"
Hechuckl
edandshookhi
shead.
Mzeet
:"
I'
m sososor
ryboss"
Hi
m:"
Whatdoy
ouneedKuhl
ekonke"
Whatifher
unsawaywi
thmycar
d.Hayphel
aI
don'
tknowthi
sguy
Me:
"Thet
hingi
sIdon'
thav
ecashl
yi
ngar
ound.
..
"
Hi
m:"
Whoasky
ouaboutmoney
?"Ir
oll
edmy
ey
es
Me:
"HuaweiP10"I'
m afanofi
Phonebutf
ort
he
t
imebeingIwi
llset
tl
eforHuawei
.
Hi
m:"Come"Theybot
hdi
sappear
ed.Unedr
ama
l
obaba.
Theycamebackthent
heguyl
eftj
ustt
hen
mom walkedi
n.
Mom:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Me:
"Hel
l
oMama"Igotupandhuggedher
Mom:
"Howar
eyou"
Me:
"Bet
tert
hany
est
erday
"
Sheletl
osef
rom t
heembr
aceandl
ookedat
malumeuncl
e
Mom:
"Ihopeshei
sbehav
ing"
Me:"
HaibomamaI
'
m notat
oddl
er"Theybot
h
gi
ggled
Hi
m:"
Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
saspace"
Mom: "
Thankyou"shesmi
l
edofwhichmal
ume
uncl
eretur
nedthenhewal
kedoutasmom
star
edathisbehi
nd
Me:
"Mama!
"
Mom:
"Mh"shel
ookedatme
Me:
"Whoi
sthi
smanact
ual
l
y"
Mom:"
Itol
dyouhei
smyf
ri
endl
et'
ssi
tdown"
Wesatdown
Me:"
Ther
e'ssomet
hingy
ouhidi
ngMamawhy
doeshehavemynameonhischest
"
Mom: "
Howwi
l
lIknowIhav
enev
erseenhi
m
naked"
Me:
"NamangaMama"(
Youar
ely
ingMama)
Mom:"Ungazongdakel
wawenamosI '
mtel
l
ing
youIdon'
tknow.Youar enott
heonl
y
Kuhl
ekonkeintheworld"
Me:
"Mx
mthat
'swhatheal
sosai
d"
Mom:
"Yourf
atheri
sbr
eat
hingf
ir
eKonke"
Me:
"Letmeguesshei
sbl
ami
ngy
ou"
Mom:"
Atleastt
hel
obol
anegot
iat
ionsdi
dn'
t
t
akepl
ace."
Me:
"Zol
ani
won'
tlett
hispassMamahewi
l
llook
f
ormeunti
lhef
indme.Im scar
ed"
Mom:
"Youar
esaf
eher
etr
ustme"
Me:"
Ifeel
li
keI
'
minj
ail
her
eIwantt
obef
ree.
Letmegoaway"
Mom:
"Ineedyout
otrustmebabyal
lthi
swi
l
lbe
ov
erI
'
m deali
ngwit
hit.
"
Me:
"Whatar
eyoupl
anni
ngt
odo?
"
Mom:
"Thel
essy
ouknowt
hebet
ter
"
Me:"
Makeitsnappypl
easeIwantmyfr
eedom I
can'
tbecoopedupinherewi
ththi
sgor
geous
man"
Mom:"
Don'
tfor
gett
hatIdi
dntsendy
out
odat
e
Zol
ani
"
Me:
"Di
dyouhav
etosayt
hat
?"Tear
sthr
eat
ened
t
ocomeout
Mom:"I
'm sor
ryokayI'
m sor
ry"Shepul
l
edmei
n
herar
msandst rokedmyhair.
Malumeuncl
ejoi
nedus,wechi
l
ledtoget
herwe
or
deredpi
zzaandatewhil
ewat
chingmovies.
Iat
ethewhol
eboxofpi
zza
Mom:
"Shoul
dIbewor
ri
ed?"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean"Ibur
ped"
excuseme"
Mom:
"Nev
ermi
nd"
Me:"
Malumeuncl
ecany
oupasst
her
emot
e
pl
ease"
Mom:
"Mal
umeuncl
e?"Hepassedt
her
emot
e
Me:
"Hesai
dhi
snamei
suncl
e"shel
aughed.
Mzeetcamebackwi
thmyphoneIt
hankhi
m
t
henheleft
.
Iwasfeel
i
ngsleepy"
Iwantt
osl
eepnowy
ou
cangobackhomemama"
Mom:
"Hai
boy
ouar
echasi
ngmeout
?"
Me:
"It
houghty
ouar
eher
etoseemenj
ena"
Mom:
"YahbutIwi
l
lleav
ewhenIwantt
oleav
e"
Me:"Youar
eamarri
edwomany oucan'
tbe
spendingt
imewi
thmenfr
iendornofri
end"
Mal
umeuncl
elaughed
Mom:
"Hhhenansi
imi
hlol
ayami
"
Me:
"Hambandoday
ouknowhowy
ourhusband
i
s"
Mom:
"I
fyouwantt
osl
eepgoandsl
eepKonke"
Me:
"Ahwel
lI'
m notsl
eepi
ng"
Theybot
hlaughedmxm Igotup"Loveyou"I
ki
ssedhercheekandwenttothebedr
oom.
Ithr
ewmy sel
font
hebedandcheckedmy
updatesandmyemai
l
s.
Theywer
etonssoIdeci
dedt
ocheckt
hem
whenIwakeup.
Icoul
dn'tl
osesomayimport
antcontact
ssoI
di
dsim swop.Wi
thi
nsecondsIf
allasl
eep.
"
Im goi
ngt
oki
l
lyouKonke!
!"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryZol
ani
pleasedon'
tki
l
lme"
Iwaskneel
ingont
hefloorbeggi
nghi
m notto
shootme.Ihav
eneverbeenscar
edli
kethati
n
mylif
e.
Hepul
ledt
hetr
iggerIscr
eamedoutofshock
andj
umpedup.
Iwaspant
ingandsweat
ingt
hatwhenIreal
i
zed
Iwasdr
eamingandmyphonewasringi
ng.
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
Mv
elo:
"Pl
ea.
.sehel
pmesi
s"hegr
oaned
Isatwi
thmybut
t
Me:
"Mv
elo!
"
Mvelo:
"Hei
sgoi
ngt
okil
l.
..
ouuhh"hegroaned
onceagai
nmyhear
tst
art
edbeatingf
ast
Me:
"Mv
elowher
ear
eyou?
"Ipani
cked
"
Hisl
i
fedependsony
oust
handwasami
"
Me:
"Leav
emybr
otheral
oneZol
ani
!
"
Zolani
:
"ComebackhomeIwi
l
lleav
ehi
m"he
hungup
Ohshi
t!
[
05/
31,
08:
15]W:
09
KUHLEKONKE
•
Whywon'
tthi
sguyl
eav
emeal
one?
IpanickedIwasscar
edformybr
other
'sl
i
fet
hat
bastardissi
ckhewil
lki
l
lhim.
Irol
l
edoutofbedandr
ushedoutoft
he
bedroom.
If
ollowedthei
rvoi
cesandtheyl
edmet othe
ki
tchenmom wasmaki ngher
sel
fcomfort
able
i
not herwoman'
ski
tchenhowdisr
espect
ful.
Hi
m:"
Mmmhi
t'
stast
eamazi
ng"
Mom:
"Buty
oual
way
scookbet
tert
hanme"
Ibar
geinbreat
hingheav
il
ymyhear
twas
beat
ingoutofmychest.
Me:
"Hehashi
m"
Mom:
"Huh"
Me:
"Zol
ani
..
.Mv
elo.
..ki
l
li
ng"Iwasspeaki
ng
f
ast
Hewalkedtomeandpl
acehi
shandsonmy
shoul
ders
Hi
m:"
Breat
hin"Ii
nhal
ed"
andout
"Iexhal
ed
"
Nowtalkt
ous"
Me:"Mv
elocal
l
edmehei scryi
ng,Zol
anit
ook
hi
m Mommyhei sthr
eat
eningtokil
lhi
mIfI
don'
tgobacktohi
m whatarewegoingtodo"I
cri
ed
Mom:
"Jesuswhatdoest
hisboywantkant
i!
"
Hi
m:"
Youhav
etogobackt
ohi
m"
Mom:
"What
?NoVi
ncenty
oupr
omi
set
ohel
p
meyoucan'
tsendmydaught
erbacktothat
monst
er.
"Tear
srol
leddownonherface
Hi
m:"
It
stheonl
yway
"
Mom:"HayiVi
ncentyousaid.
..
."heshutherup
bypr
essingafingeronhermouth
Him:"
It
stheonlywaytosav
eMv elo.
Kuhl
ekonkewil
lpret
endasifsheisgoingback
toZol
ani.Iwi
l
lorgani
zeguyswewi l
lfoll
ow
behi
ndKonkeandat t
ackhi
m withhi
sguy s"
Mom:
"Ohwhydi
dn'
tyousayso"
Hechuckl
ed
Him"Ij
ustdi
dnje.
.soweneedt omakesurethat
hedoesn'
tbecomesuspi
cious.Ineedyoutogo
nowandcomebackwi t
hKuhl ekonke'
sconcept
coupe"
Mom:"
Okay"Hewipedhert
ear
sthanmom
madeherwayout
.
Me:"
I'
m goi
ngt
oasky
ouonel
astt
imewhatar
e
youtomama?"
Hi
m:"
Wear
efr
iendsIt
oldy
ou"
Me:"Don'
tmakemeaf oolIseethi
svi
be
betweenthetwoofyou.Mom ismarr
iedt
omy
fat
herstaythef
uckawayfrom her
"
Hechuckl
ed,
shaki
nghi
shead
Hi
m:"
Cal
lZol
ani
tel
lhi
myouar
ecomi
ng"
Idi
dashesai
ditdi
dn'
tev
enr
anghepi
ckedup.
Zol
ani
:
"st
handwasami
"
Me:"Pl
easedon'
thur
tmybr
otherbabyIwi
l
l
comebackhome"Ihear
dgroansinthe
backgr
ound.
Myheartf
li
nchedpai
nful
l
y"I
'
m beggi
ngy
ou
pl
ease"
Zol
ani:
"Tel
lmewher
ear
eyouIwi
l
lcomepi
ck
youup"
Me:
"NoIwi
l
lcomet
oyout
ell
mewher
ear
eyou"
Zol
ani
:
"Dur
bani
nmyhouse"
Me:
"I
'm comi
ng"
Zol
ani:
"Hopey
ouar
enotpl
ayi
ngwi
thme
Konke"
Me:"
Promisemeyouwi
l
lletmybr
othergo
whenIgetther
e"
Zol
ani
:
"Ipr
omi
semyl
ove"
Thisguyi
ssickt
heywayhewassosweeton
thephonedoesher
eal
lyt
hinkwhathei
sdoi
ng
i
snor mal
?Wehungup
Hi
m:"
Wher
eishe?
"
Me:
"Her
einDur
ban"
Hi
m:"
OkayIwi
l
lgetoni
t"hedi
sappear
ed.
Ihopethi
splandoesn'
tbackfi
reIwi
llnev
er
for
giv
emy selfi
fMvelogothur
tbadl
y.
Wewait
edformamai
mpati
ent
lyIwaspaci
ng
upanddownbi
ti
ngmynai
l
s.
Af
terwhatf
eltl
i
kef
orev
ershecamebackwi
th
mycar.
"
Wehav
etomakei
treal
sol
etmegety
our
l
uggages"Hewentt
omybedr
oom
Mom:
"Cal
m downpl
ease"
Me:
"I
'm scar
edMama"
Shewal
kedt
omeandpul
l
edmei
ntoahug.
"
Ihopenoonewi
l
lgetki
l
ledmama"
Mom:"
Ofcoursebabywear
ejustt
eachi
ng
Zol
ani
alesson"
Hecamebackwi
thmyl
uggage.
Him:
"Let
'sgetgoi
ng.Zi
nzi
youhav
etost
ay
behi
nd"
Mom:"That
'snotgoi
ngtohappent
hesear
emy
chi
l
drenIwanttobether
e"
Him:"
Comeonchocol
atemuf
fi
nyouneedt
o
t
rustmepl
ease"
Chocol
atemuf
fi
nhuh?
Mom:"Okayf
inepleaseupdateme"sheki
ssed
myli
psandsqueezedmet henwelef
t.We
dr
oveinconvoy.
Uponar
ri
valIaskedZol
anit
oopenthegat
efor
meofwhichhedid.Idr
ovei
nandgetoutoft
he
car
.
Hecametomeandhuggedme,
whi
ski
ngme
of
fthegr
ound.
Zol
ani
:
"Imi
ssedy
ousomuch"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
out
oo"
Hel
etgoofme"
Hel
pmewi
thmyl
uggage"
Heunl
oadedt
hel
uggaget
hanwemadeourway
i
n.
Myheartwasbeat
ingsof
astIwassoscar
edI
t
hinkhenoti
ced
Zolani
:
"Don'
tbescaredIwon'
thurty
ou"we
headedtohi
sbedroom andwher
eheplacedmy
l
uggage.
Me:
"Wher
eismybr
other
"
Zol
ani
:"
Younotgonnagivemeakissfir
st"I
wal
kedtohi
m andkissedhi
m hegrabbedmy
buttl
ascivi
ously
."GodImissyou.Whydon'
tyou
acceptthatyouandIaremeanttobetoget
her.I
l
ovey ouKuhlekonkedon'
tyouloveme?"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ousomuchZol
ani
"
Zol
ani
:
"Thenst
opr
unni
ngawayf
rom us"
Isaidnothi
ngandlookeddown,whyarethey
notcominginnow.Hel i
ft
edmeupwi t
hhis
i
ndexf i
ngerandl
ookeddeepinmyey es"Iwant
towifeyoumakeyout hemotherofmy
chil
dren"
Me:
"WhataboutLuci
a?"
Zolani
:
"Shewi l
lbemysecondwif
e.Youwillbe
theseniorbabyshewi
l
lli
stent
oy ou.Ev
ery
thing
yousaygoes"
Me:"
Idon'tknowZolani
"Ihav
etopl
ayalongI
can'
tacceptever
ythi
nghesayhewi
llnoti
cehe
i
snotstupid.
Zol
ani:
"Iwil
lwai
tfory
ouunt
ily
ouar
ereadyy
ou
cantakeyourt
ime"
Me:"Okayifyousayso"Ihookedmyar m
aroundhisneckandgivehismanhooda
squeeze"Imissyou"Iwhisper
edinhisearhe
groaned,looki
ngatmewi thal
readyhal
f
cl
osedey es
Zol
ani:
"Imi
ssyoutooletf
reeyourbr
otherf
ir
st"
Heli
ckedhi
slowerli
pandt ookmyhand.
Wewentt
othi
sot
herr
oom hehar
dlyopeni
t.
Theremybr otherwasti
edinachai
r
unconsciousandbleedi
ng.Hewasnotal
one
thoughthereweretwoguyswit
hhim
Me:"
Whatdidyoudotohi
m"Ir
ant
omybr
other
andslaphi
scheeksl
i
ghtl
y
Zolani
:"
Nothi
ngyourbr
otherisaweakl
ing"He
tookabucketwhi
chwasont hefl
oorand
pouredwateronmybrotherwhojumpedup.
Thatmomentmal
umeucleguyswalkedi
n
poi
nti
ngagunatZol
aniandhi
sguys.Zol
ani
wastheonl
yonewhohadnoweapon
Zolani
:
"Youbi
tch!
"hel
ookedatmewi
thdar
k
eyes
Malumeuncl
e:"
Tel
lyourguy
stol
owert
hei
r
guns"
Zol
ani
:
"Orwhat
?"
Malumeuncle:
"Don'
tbest
upi
dyouar
e
out
numbered"
Zolani
:
"Youdon'
tgett
otel
lmewhatt
odoi
nmy
cr
ib"
Mal
umeuncl
e:"
Wecandot
hist
hehar
dwayor
t
heeasyway
"
Zol
ani
:
"Lowery
ourgunguy
s"
Malumeuncle:
"Mzeetunt
ieMv el
oandgett hem
outofher
e"Mzeetunti
edMv el
owebot hheld
hi
m andmadeourwayoutj ustthenthegun
shotswentonforawhil
emyhear tskippeda
beat.
Mzeet
:"
come"
Me:
"Nowhataboutmal
umeuncl
e"
Mzeet
:"
Hewi
l
lbeokay
"
Me:"
Nohecan'
tdi
etoobecauseofmeIhav
eto
seehi
m"Icr
ied
Mzeet:
"DammitKonkeIsai
dhewi
l
lbeokay
.
Let
'sgoooo!
"hescreamed
Wemadeourt omycarandputMv
eloatt
he
backseatwhowasi
npain.
Mzeetgott
ot hedr
iverseat
,Isatwit
hMv
elo
l
ett
inghi
mr esthi
sheadonmyt hi
ghs
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMv
elo"Icr
ied
Mv
elo:
"Don'
tcr
ysi
s"hesai
dweakl
y.
Mom rantousassoonaswegotinand
at
tackedMvel
owithahugcausi
nghimto
gr
oan.
Mom:
"I
m sor
ryboy
"
Mzeet
:"
HeneedtorestIwi
l
lgi
vehim somepil
l
s
t
hatwil
lknockhi
m of
f"mom andIfol
lowed
behi
ndt
othenear
estbedr
oom wher
eMv
elo
l
aidont
hebed.
Mzeetopenedthebesi
dedr
awerandt
ookout
di
ff
erentpi
ll
s.
Mzeet:
"Getwaterpl
ease"Iwenttof
etchwater
andgaveMv el
otodownt hepil
l
swithwater
.
Me:
"Whatdi
dtheydot
oyou?
"
Mv
elo:
"Theybeatmeup"
Me:
"I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ryMv
elo"
Mv
elo:
"I
tsokaysi
s"hebl
i
nkedl
azi
l
y
Mom:
"Wher
eisVi
ncent
?"
"
Rightbehi
ndy
ou"
Icouldn'
thel
pmysel
fbutr
antohi
m andthrew
my sel
finhi
sarms."
Don'
twor
rypr
incessI
'm
fi
ne"
Mvel
owasalreadyoutsowegav
ehi
m space
andwentt
othelounge.
Hi
m:"
Sur
eMzeety
ouknowwhatt
odo"
Mzeet
:"
Ofcour
seBossV"hebi
dfar
ewel
land
l
eft
Me:
"Whathappenedi
nther
emal
umeuncl
e"
Him:"
Zolaniwil
lnev
erbot
hery
ouagai
n
sweetheart"
Me:
"Youki
l
ledhi
m?"
Mom:"Youhav
efr
eedom nowbabyst
opaski
ng
quest
ions"
Me:
"Iwantt
oknowwhathappenedt
ohi
m"
Mom:"
HayimaanKonke!Behappyy
ouar
efr
ee
f
rom t
hatbast
ard"
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orsav
ingme,
bot
hofy
ou"
Hi
m:"
Any
time"
Me:
"I
m hungr
ynowwhatdi
dyoucookmom?
"
Mom:
"Youeatal
ott
heseday
s"
Me:"
Musaukukhul
umelaukudl
amama"They
bot
hlaughed"
Iwil
lgoanddishupf
ormysel
f"
Igotupandwenttothekit
chen.Abel
lonthe
doorint
err
uptedme.Ishuf
fl
edtothedoorthe
oneandonlyArchBi
shopMangethewas
standi
nginfr
ontofme.
Dad:
"Wher
eisshe?
"
Me:
"Hel
l
otoy
out
oodaddy
"
Dad:
"Isai
dwher
eismywi
fe!
!"Hepushedme
andmadehiswayi
n.
Me:
"That
'sr
udedaddyy
oucan'
ti
nvi
tey
our
sel
f
i
nsomeone'
shouse"
Isai
drunni
ngaft
erhi
m asheal
readymadehi
s
waytothel
ounge.OhGodIwasn'
tready
.
Dad:"Zi
nzil
e!"Theystoppedkissi
ngmom' sf
ace
turnedredimmedi at
ely"V.
.i
ncent"hi
sjaw
dropped
mal
umeuncl
e:"
Heybi
gbr
other
"hesai
dwi
tha
smi
rk
[
05/
31,
08:
15]W:
10
KUHLEKONKE
•
Me:
"Bi
gbr
other
??"
Malumeuncl
e:"Howarey oubuti
omdalaImi
ss
youdoyouwantany t
hingtodri
nk"hesai
dso
cal
myasifnothinghappened.
Dadwassoangr
ycl
enchi
nghi
sjawand
fl
i
nchi
nghi
sfi
sts
Mom:"Uhm"shest
oodup"
It
snotwhaty
ou
t
hinkhoney
"
Dad:
"Of
cour
sei
tsnotwhatIt
hinki
twhatIsaw!
"
Mom:
"Nouhm I
..
we.
."shest
utt
ered
Dad:
"Whathuh?WhatZi
nzi
l
e!"
Mom:
"I
m sor
ry"shest
art
edcr
ying
Mom: "
Whatareyousor
ryfor?Yousorryyou
arecheat
ingonmeoryouar esor
ryyou
cheati
ngwithmyownfuckingmybrother
!"
Me:
"Daddyy
ouhav
eabr
other
?"
Dad:
"ShutupKonke!
"
Mom:"Letsgohomeandt
alkaboutt
hispl
ease"
sheheldhishand
Dad:"
Dontyoudaret
ouchmewit
hyourf
il
thy
hands.Whyareyousost
upi
dcanty
ouseeheis
usi
ngy ou!
"
Mal
umeUncl
elaughed
Mal
umeuncl
e:"
Comeony
ouknowmebet
ter
t
hanthat
"
Dad:
"St
ayt
hehel
lawayf
rom myf
ami
l
y!"
Malumeuncle:
"Orelsewhat
?Let
'
sseei
fthe
ar
chbishopcanthrowapunch"
Dadfl
i
pandt
hrewapunchbutMal
umeUncl
e
bl
ockit
"Youpunchlikeagir
lnowonderyoucan' t
prot
ectyourfamil
ybutdon'tworr
yVi nvi
nis
herehewillt
akecareofthem i
nev erypossi
ble
way"Hesmi rkedcausi
ngdaddyt ot hr
ow
anotherki
l
lerpunchwhichsentmal umeuncle
r
eel
i
ngbackwar
d
Mom:
"Sbusi
sono!
"
Mal
umeuncle:
"Notbad"hewi
pedhi
sbl
eedi
ng
l
ipwi
thhi
sthumb
Dad:
"Staythefuckawayf
rom myfamil
y!You
t
akey ourbagsandlet
sgo"hesai
dlooki
ngat
me.
Me:
"DaddyI
..
"
Dad:"
Isai
dnow!
"Iwenttot
akemybagst
ear
s
rol
l
ingonmyfaceandcameback"
Goandwake
Mveloup!
"
Howdidheknewwear
eher
e?Iwentwake
Mvel
oup
Me:
"Mv
elo"Ishookhi
m
Mv
elo:
"Mhh"her
ubbedhi
sey
es
Me:
"Comewear
egoi
nghome"
Mv
elo:
"Whyar
eyoucr
yingar
eyouokay
"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"
Hegotupfr
om thebedwewalkedout.We
f
oundthem al
readywai
ti
ngf
orusoutside.
Dad:
"Geti
n!"
Me:
"Whataboutmycar
"
Dad:
"Iwi
ll
comeandgetitmysel
fIwanty
out
o
st
aythehell
awayf
rom t
hatman"
Mvel
o:"
I'
m notcomi
ngwit
hy ouI
'm goi
ngt
omy
pl
aceIwil
luseKonke'
sconcept
"
Mom:
"Mv
elocany
oupl
easel
i
stenf
oronceboy
"
Mv
elosul
kedt
henwebot
hgoti
nthecar
.
Dadst
art
edhi
scaranddr
oveout
.
Theat
mospher
ewassomberandawkwar
dI
wasdi
gest
ingwhatwentdown.
TosayIwasdi sappoi
ntedonMamathatwoul
d
beanunderstatementhowcanshescr
ewher
husband'
sbrother.
Iknowdadcanbetoomuchsomet i
mesbut
t
hatdoesn'
tmeansheshoul
dcheatwhynot
di
vor
cehi
mifshei
snothappy
.
Thi
sisdi
sgusti
ngnj
e.Whatki
ndofanexampl
e
i
sshesett
ing.
Mvel
o:"
Sis"henudgedmesnappi
ngmeoutof
mythoughts
Me:
"Mh"
Mv
elo:
"Wear
ehome"
Me:
"Oh"
Mv
elo:
"Whati
sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"Not
hingi
sgoi
ngonMv
elol
etst
epout
"
HowcanIt ell
mybr ot
herthatourmom is
cheati
ngonourf at
herwit
hhi sbr
other
,the
brot
herthathappenedtorescuehi
m.
Westeppedoutoft
hecarandwal
kedi
nsi
deof
t
hehouse.
Mom anddaddywer
escr
eami
ngateachot
her
i
nthei
rbedr
oom.
Mv
elo:
"YouknowwhatIcan'
tst
andt
hisI
'
m
goi
ngt
omyf
lat
"
Me:
"YouarehurtMv
eloy
ouneedsomeonet
o
t
akecareofyou"
Mv
elo:
"I
'mf
inesi
swami
don'
twor
ry"
Me:
"Youpr
omi
seme?
"
Mvelo:
"Yes"Heki
ssedmycheekandhugged
me"Iwillseey
outomorr
owyouandIneedto
t
alk"
Isi
ghedheav
il
y
Me:
"OkayIwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
"
Heki
ssedmyfor
eheadandtur
ntowalkout
"
Mvel
o"hetur
nedandlookatme"Il
oveyou"
Hesmi
l
ed
Mvel
o:"
Iloveyoutoosis"Hewalkedoutl
eavi
ng
mealone.Ibr
eathedoutloudl
yIalsodi
dntwant
t
obeher e.
TomorrowI
'
m goi
ngbackt oSandt
onandget
backt
omyli
feInolongerhav
eacrazyZol
ani
onmycase.
Dademergedandstormedout.Iwentt
omy
fol
ksbedroomswhereIfoundmom cry
ingon
t
hef l
oor
.
Il
eanedagai
nstt
hedoor
,myar
mswr
apped
agai
nstmychest
Me:"
Ist
hiswhaty
oupr
eachatchur
ch"she
l
ookedupatme
Mom:
"NotnowKonkepl
ease"
Me:"Mom reall
yhisbr
other
?Wherei
sthi
s
brothercomingfr
om?Whyar ey
ouanddaddy
onlyoneknowabouthim? "
Mom:
"Youar
ethel
astper
sont
ojudgeme"
Me:
"Don'
tgetconfusedMama.Zol anicheat
ed
onmenottheotheraround.I'
m sodisappoi
nted
i
nyouIcan'
tevenlookaty ouri
ghtnow."
Mom:"Youdon'tgett
otal
ktomel i
kethatI
'
m
yourmothershowsomerespect
!"Shegotup
f
rom thefl
oorandsatonthebed
Me:"
Youdon' tgett
oscrewmyf ather
'sbr ot
her
andexpectrespectwhatyoudidisadi sgrace.
Howdoy oustandinfr
ontofthecongregation
andpreachwheny ouarebusywhor i
ng..."I
don'
tknowwhendi dshegetupfrom thebed
cozIfeltaburni
ngsensati
ononmyf acehot
l
iqui
dr anoutofmynose
Mom:"WhodoIf
ucki
snoneofyourbusi
ness!
Youar
eachil
dknowyourpl
ace!
"herl
ips
qui
ver
ed
Iwi
pedmybl
oodwi
thmypal
ms
Me:
"Whydoeshehav
emynameonhi
schest
?"
Mom:
"Iwantt
obeal
oneKonke!
"
Me:
"Well
I'
m goi
ngbackt
oaskhi
m Iknowhe
wi
ll
tel
lme"
Mom:
"Hei
syourFATHERar
eyouhappynow!
"
Ifel
tli
ketheworldwasspinni
ngmysi ght
bl
urredIcol
lapsed.Icoul
dhearsobsand
someonesqueezingmyhand.Iopenedmyeyes
Iwasi
nthehospi
tal
"Babyyouscaredme"sheatt
emptt
oki
ssmy
cheekIlookedtheot
hersi
de.
Me:
"Pl
easel
eav
emot
her
"
Mom:
"Babyl
etmeexpl
ain"
Me:
"Isai
dout
!"Thedoct
orwal
kedi
n.
Doc:
"Mi
ssZwanehowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
mfi
ne"
Doc:
"Yourbl
oodpressur
eisveryhi
ghandthat
i
sputti
ngyourbabyindanger
.Youneedt.
..
"
Huh
Me:
"B.
.baby
?"
Doc:
"Youar
e10weekspr
egnant
"
Me:
"Namangahowi
sitpossi
bleIwasonpi
l
ls!
"
Doc:
"I
'm notl
yi
ngMi
ssy
ouar
epr
eg.
..
"
Icoul
dn'
tl
ethi
mf i
nishbutbur
sti
ntotear
s.I
don'
twantababyIcan'
thaveZol
ani
'sbabyno
way
s!I
nfactIdon'
tl
ikebabi
es.
•
SBUSI
SO
•
Iknewit!Iknewitt
hatmywif
eisupto
somethingbutcheati
ngwast
heleastofmy
worri
es.SoIhiredsomeonet
ofoll
owher
around
Vincenti
susi
nghert
ogett
omet hatcoul
dbe
theonlyr
easonwhyhei
sback.
Heknowsandheisonami
ssi
ont
osabot
age
medamny ouVi
ncent
!
Thethoughtofhi
mtouchi
ng,
kissi
ngand
fucki
nghermakemelosemymi nd.
Iknowmybrotherhei
sv er
ycaculat
iveand
womancantresi
sthimfuuuccck!
Iwassoangr
y,fust
rat
ed,andhur
thowcoul
d
sheal
lowhi
mt oplayher
.Heisusi
nghert
ohis
gamesnx!
IdrovetoKwaMashutoseemymot her
.I
foundherint
hever
andahav
ingacupofteaon
thi
sblazi
ngday.
Shepl
acedt
hemugdownandst
oodup
Mom:"Nt
shosho"shesmi
l
edwi
del
yandopened
herar
mswide
Me:
"Himom"Iwentt
oherar
msal
l
owi
nghert
o
embr
aceme
Mom:"
Thati
sver
ycol
d"Shepul
l
edbackand
hel
dmyhand
Me:
"Wear
eindeept
roubl
emama"
Mom:"
Comelet
ssi
tdown"Wesatdown"
What
i
str
oubli
ngy
oumyson"
Me:
"Vi
ncenti
sback"
Mom:"Whatdoy
oumean.Vincenti
sback"she
l
ookedatmeperpl
exed.
Iscr
atchedmyhead
Me:
"Hei
sbacki
ntownmama"
Mom:"Howisi
tpossi
bleSbusi
soy
ousai
dyou
ki
l
ledhim!
"shepani
cked
Me:
"Il
i
edMam I
..
."Icoul
dntf
ini
shshesl
apped
mesohar
dIgr
oaned
Mom:"DammitmaanSbusisowhatifheknows!
It
oldyoutoki
ll
him notgetr
idofhi
m.Obv i
ous
heisont
ousnow!!"
Me:"
Heisusi
ngmywi
feMamawewontknow
whathi
tus"
Mom:"Getr
idofhi
m per
manetlySbusisoyou
knowwhatisatst
akeIdontneedtoremind
you!
"
Me:"
Ishouldhavekil
ledhi
m andnowhei
shere
t
ocauset r
oubleforus.Dontwor
ryMaIwi
ll
sort
t
hisout"
Mom:"Youbet
terandbef
oret
heendoft
he
day
!"
[
05/
31,
08:
15]W:
11
LUCI
A
•
Iknowr i
ghtnowI '
m notanybody'
sfavouri
te
andIt ot
allyunderstandbutagir
lgott
adowhat
agirlgott
ado.Iwast edtoomuchtimewor ki
ng
i
nr et
ailstoresit
'stoolat
enowt ostar
tfrom
scrat
chandmakesomet hi
ngoutofmyname.
Ineedst
abi
li
tyandsecur
it
yIdon'
tcar
eev
eni
fit
takemetobethesecondwif
e.
Aft
erIgetal
lIwantthenIcanhav
esomeone
onthesi
deZolaniwon'thav
etofi
ndout
.
Il
oveKonkesomuchwehav ebeenthrougha
l
ottogetherbutourfr
iendshi
pwontgiv
eme
st
abil
it
yandsecur i
ty.
Zolani
hav
ebeenf ucki
ngmeforf
reeit
shi
gh
ti
meIgetarecognizedval
uei
nhi
sli
fe.
ThewholeweekhavepassedZol
ani
isnot
comingbackf
rom Dur
banIcan'
thel
pbutfeel
j
ealousnow.
Kuhl
ekonkei
skeepi
nghi
m al
ltoher
sel
fnow
andIhat
ethat
.Ihavebeent
ryi
ngtocall
him but
hi
sphoneisof
f.Igr
oanedfr
ustr
atedl
yandcall
hi
m agai
n
Me:"
Hadebewher
ear
eyoucomebackhome
nowImissyou"
Thethi
ngyouhavetoknowwit
hZolanii
sthat
heli
kehiswomant obowdownforhi
m and
agr
eewithanyt
hinghesay.
Aunt
y:"
Sti
l
l"
Me:
"YesAunt
yandhei
sfr
ust
rat
ingme!
"
Aunty
:"Don'
tl
osefocusbecauseofyouranger
thi
sguyisourwayoutofThembisa.Ithi
nkyou
shoul
dgot oDur
ban"
Me:
"Yout
hinkt
hat
'sagoodi
dea?
'
Aunty
:"Ofcour
sesweetylookatthebi
gger
pi
ctur
eWeneedt ogetr
idofthatKuhl
ekonke
gi
rl
.WewantZol ani
'sey
esony ouonly
"
Me:"
Idon'
tthinkt
hat'swil
lbepossi
blehel
ove
KonkeAunt
y .Iwi
llneverwi
nhisheart
"
Aunty:
"Heloveyourcooki
ebesmar
tuset
hatt
o
youradvantage"
Thet hi
ngisIwentt ot hemount ai
nmypussyi s
dri
v i
nghim crazy.Auntydoesn'tunderstand
thatwithoutKonkeIcan' thaveZolaniIdon't
knowwhatdi dshef eedhim heiscrazyinlove
withherwhi l
ehecr azyinlovewi t
hmypussy .I
f
i
tt akemet ouseAunt y'
shusbandt omakeher
cooperatethensobei t
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
"
Dontgiv
eup"thatmymot
toi
tkeptmegoi
ng
f
orthe19year
sofmyli
fe.
Ibel
iev
ethatonedayIwi
l
lbeli
vi
ngal
i
fet
hat
wil
lbeenvi
edbymanypeopl
e.
Icanseemysel
fonedayi
nast
udi
omaki
ngand
produci
ngmusi
c.
Peopl
elaughatmewhent
heyaskmewhatdoI
wantt
obei
nfut
ure.
Noonebeli
eveinmydream ofmaki
ngmusi
c
exceptmyl
it
tl
esist
erandmyboyfri
end.
Idontfeelof
fendedcozIknownot
hingwi
l
lst
op
mef r
om reachingmygoals.
Idonthav
et i
met oent
ert
ainpeopl
ewhoar
e
narr
owmi nded.
Onceyouregar
dmusi
casahobbytheny
ou
dontknowthepar
amouncyofmusi
c.
Takeaseatorl i
edownony ourbedandclose
youreyes.Imagi
nehowlif
ewoul dhavebeen
withoutmusicbori
nghuh?WellIthi
nkli
fe
wouldhav ebeenhardwi
thoutmusic.
Musi
cheals,encour
ages,t
ouches,uni
tes,
moti
vat
esandent er
tai
nspeople.Musi
c
t
ouchespeopleinmorethanoneway .
Whenyouseeorheart
hewordmusi
cthefi
rst
t
hingt
hatcomestoyourmi
ndit
sasong.
Lett
akey
ourcel
l
phonenott
hosef
ancy
phoneswehav
enowImtalki
ngaboutsi
mple
phonest
hatweuset
ohavein90'
sforexampl
e
3310.
Saytherewerenotonesiniti
maginehowthat
wouldhavebeen.Howitwoul dhavenot
if
yyou
thatyouhaveanincomingcal
lormessage?
Whataboutmov i
es,
dramasandshowsi n
tel
evisioni
magineamov ieplayi
ngf r
om the
beginingti
ll
theendwithoutacertainsound
tot
allyitwi
llbor
eyouri
ght ?Thosesoundsplay
avit
al rol
etheymakeamov i
einterest
ing,
watchableandenjoy
able.
Theyrepr
esentsomethingforasceneit
seither
happi
ness,sadness,
victor
y,r
omance,etc.
Asongi
snotasongwit
hlyri
csonly.Thati
s
whywehav
ehousemusic.Skel
otonmov ebydj
l
enyi
moandmasterKGdopesttr
ackev er
.
I
tevokesdif
fer
entemotionsandmakeyou
wonderwhatweretheythi
nkingorwhat
pr
edicamentweretheygoingthr
oughwhen
t
heycr
eat
edt
hatsong.
Theel
ement
s,i
nst
rument
sandbeat
sdamn
t
heydi
daphenomenal
workont
hattr
ack.
Idontknowi fit
sasayingori
tsabibl
equote
thatsay"umculouyamduduzaodabuki
ley
o"
musi cisl
ifeanditt
ouchesev
eryoneofus
diff
erentl
y.
Onedaypeoplewil
lbeli
steni
ngtomymusic.
I
tsei
therf
rom ar
ti
stsormov i
esanddr
amas.
Miser
yandsuf
fer
ingwi
l
lwor
thi
ttheendoft
he
day.
Theysaywhatdoesn'
tkill
youmakeyoust
rong
I
'm goi
ngunderatrai
ningort
est
ingf
oragreat
fut
ure.
"I
m notgoi
ngt her
e!Idon'
thavet
imefor
nonsense!
!"r
oaredmygr andmot
her
Me:"
I'
m beggingy ougogoIcan'
tski
pwor
k
agai
nIwillgetfi
red"
Gogo:
"Youcal
lsel
l
ingi
nthatPaki
stanshop
wor
k?Youar
ecr
azyt
hanIt
hought
"
Laught
erf
il
ledt
heki
tchen.
Me:"GogetyourbagpackThando"shedidn'
t
hearmecozshewast ooengrossedonour
cousinswhowereeatingpeanutbutt
er
sandwichandcoffee.
If
eltt
earst
hreat
eni
ngtocomeoutIknowshe
i
shungrycozwesleptwi
thanempt
ystomach
l
astni
ght.
Kwanda:
"Didyouhearwhatt
heysai
dtoyou"he
nudgedThandowhosnappedoutandl
ookedat
me
Me:"
Goandf
etchy
ourbagpacksot
hatwecan
go"
Thando:
"Okay
"shestoodupfrom t
hechai
rand
wenttofet
chherschoolbag.
Thandokuhleismylit
tl
esistersheis15y ear
s
old,doinggrade9.I
'm 19yearsoldtur
ning20
thisyear.Ourmom wenttoJohannesburgt o
l
ookf
orj
obbutshehav
enev
err
etur
nhome.
Isti
l
lremembert
hatdayshel
eftIwas10y
ear
s
oldandmyli
tt
lesi
sterwas5year
sold.
TodayI
'm 19orshoul
dIsay20year
sold.
Peopl
eusetosaytheysawheri
nHill
brow.
Forsomeobscurereasonshedoesn'
tcare
aboutusshelef
tuswi t
hhercruelmom who
const
antl
yreminduswehav eashelt
erbecause
ofher,
weclotheher,
andeather.
Aft
erImatricul
atedshest
oppedsuppor
ti
ngus
andsaidI'
m oldnowIshouldt
akecareofmy
l
it
tl
esister
.
Ihadtolookforajobtol
ookaft
ermysi
sterbut
sti
l
ltodayIhaven'
tfi
ndadecentny
anaj
ob.
Ihavebeendoi
ngpi
ecejobsther
eandthere
thatmoneyhel
pedt
houghitwasneverenough.
Gramshav
e3chi l
drenmom i
stheonl
ygi
rland
sheist
hefi
rstbor
n
Uncl
eJabui
sthesecondbor
nhest
ayat
Mpumal
angabecauseofwor
k.
Heonlycomeshomeonceamont hhei sgood
heart
edheneverdi
scr
imi
nateusfrom hi
s
chi
ldr
en.Hetr
eatusli
kehi
schil
drenandwhen
heisher
ethat
'swhenweonlygettoeatnice
l
ikeever
ybody
.
Hehavetwoboysandonegi rlt
henuncle
Sphamandl
athelastbornwhowor katAmajuba
Coll
egeasalect
urerhehavetwochildr
engi
rl
andaboy.Heistreat
ingusli
kehismothert
hat
oneaft
eral
lheismommy '
sboy
Weal lst
aytogetherina8r oom singl
estorey
butourcousinsreceivespecial
treatmeantfrom
grannycoztheirfat
hersarewor ki
ngandt hey
gi
v ehermoneywhi lemysi st
erandIar e
tr
eatedli
kepieceofr ubbi
shbecauseourmom
wasswal l
owedbyt hewal l
sofJohannesbur g.
AtThando'sschoolt
heywantedtoseeher
parent
smygr andmotherr
efusedasyouheard
heryoursel
fshedon'
thaveti
mef or"
nonsense"
nott hatI'
m surpri
sedIwasj usttaki
ngmy
chanceswhenIaskhert ogot hereformecozI
coul dn'
tskipworkagai n.YesterdayIcouldn'
tgo
towor kbecauseIwasf orcedtodospr i
ng
cleaning.Thel i
fewel i
v ehereist er
ri
blewe
nev ertouchany t
hingtheonl ythingweshar ei
s
wat erandshelteronly
.
WellThandocamebackwit
hhertor
nold
schoolbagIt
ookitt
henwewalkedout
.She
wasv er
yquit
eall
theway
Me:"
Whydoesy ourpr
inci
palwantt
oseeyour
par
ent"sheshrugged"ComeonThandothey
musthavesaidsomet hi
ngtoyou.Di
dyougot
i
ntoafight
?"
Thando:
"No"Isi
ghedheavi
lyanddeci
dedtol
et
herbecozIseeshedidn'
twanttotel
lme.
Allt
hewaywewer esi
lenceunti
lwearr
ivedat
herschool
.It
ookoutourlastR10not
eand
gaveher
Me:
"Her
e"Shel
ookedatme
Thando:
"Whatabouty
ouwhatar
egoi
ngt
oeat
"
Me:"
Don'twor
ryaboutmeI'
m abi
ggi
rl
."her
dr
iedli
pscurv
edsweetl
y.
Thando:
"Thanky
ousomuchKat
"shehugged
me
Me:
"I
t'
sokaybaby
.Il
ovey
ou"
Thando:"
Ilov
eyoutoo"Iwi
pedat
eart
hathad
escapedonherlef
thereye
Me:"I
tsokaywewi l
lbefi
neIpromiseyou.One
dayIwil
ltakeyououtofthi
smi ser
yli
fe.Wewill
l
eaveandnev ercomeback"shenoddedf r
esh
tear
sgli
stenedinherey
es."Shhh"Ipull
edher
i
ntomyar msandembr acedher.
Herfri
endPhi
ndi
l
ecamet
ousIl
etgoof
Thando
Phi
ndi
l
e:"
Hel
l
osi
sKat
"
Me:
"Hel
l
osi
showar
eyou"
Phi
ndi
l
e:"
I'
mfi
ne.
..
.chomma"Theyshar
edahug
Me:
"Iwi
l
lseey
ouathome"
Thando:"
Okay
"Imademywayt
othepr
inci
pal
'
s
off
ice.
Pr
inci
pal
:
"MsMhl
ongo"
Me:"
Greet
ingsSi
r"Weshookhandst
hanIsat
downonacomf ychai
r
Pr
inci
pal
:
"Pl
easegi
vemeesecond"
Me: "
Nopr oblem Sir"Hedialedsomeoneont he
phoneandt oldthem tocome.Fewseconds
l
aterapet it
emi stresswalkedinherheels
cl
ickingont hefloor.Shelookedsobeautif
ulin
adar kgr
eenhuggi ngdressandhermar ooncut
suitheryell
owr oundishface.ShegreetedandI
greetedherback
Pr
inci
pal
:
"Pl
easet
akeaseatMi
ssMpanza"
MissMpanza:
"Thanky
oupr
inci
pal
"shepul
l
eda
chai
rnextt
omeandsatdown.
Pri
ncipal
:
"MsMhlongothi
sisMissMpanza
Thandokuhl
e'
scl
assteacher
.Sheisv
ery
concer
naboutt
hedr
opofy
oursi
ster
'smar
ks"
Me:
"OhIwasn'
tawar
eoft
hat
"
MissMpanza:"Thandoisaver
yintel
l
igent
studentbutl
atel
ysheisnotperf
ormingwell
in
al
l hersubj
ect
s.I'
mv er
yworri
edabouthersince
shei smytopAstudentinmyclass"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryaboutt
hatMi
ssMpanzaIwil
ltal
k
t
oherandfindoutwhatmaybet
heprobl
em"
Themeetingwentontheyshowedmeher
previ
ouster
m marks.Iensuredt
hem t
hatIwi
ll
sorti
toutaft
ert
hatIwentt omyworkpl
ace.
John:
"Youarel
ateandy
oudi
dn'
tcome
yest
erday
!"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryJohnmygr
amom wassi
ckIhad
t
otakecareofher
"
John:
"DoIl
ookl
i
keacar
e.Youar
efi
red!
"
Me:"Nopl
easedon'
tdot
hatIneedt
hisj
ob
John"
John:
"Ican'
tworkwi
thsomeonewhoi
snot
rel
i
abl
e.Leave!Hamba!
"
Tearswel
l
edupi
nmyt
ear
s.Iwentdownonmy
knees
Me:"
PleaseJohnIwon'
tdoi
tagai
nIpr
omi
se"I
cr
ied
John:
"Heyheyhambal
anawena!
"
Me:"
Whataboutmypay?"Het
ookR200not
e
andthr
ewitonmyface
John:"
Go!
"Igotupf
rom t
hef
loorandwal
ked
out.
Itri
ednott
ocrybutt
ear
scoul
dn'
thel
p
themsel
ves.
Whatam Igoingt
odo?Wherewi
llIf
indanot
her
j
obohGodpl easeshowmethel
i
ght.Showyour
exi
stencyi
nourli
veswehav
esuff
eredenough
now.
Igott
oanothershopandboughtpi
ecesof
chi
cken,
5kgofmai zemealandoni
ons.Af
terI
tookmychangeIwentt omyboy f
riend'
splace.
Itookthekeyunderthematandwal kedi
n.Itsa
oneroom shackthathasasi
nglebed, al
it
tle
cupboardandstovewitht
wochairs.
Iwashedmyhandsandst art
edcookingluckl
y
electr
icit
ywast here.Mzwakhest ayherealone
i
nhi sshackhismom di edthenhi
sf at
her
remarr i
edaonecr uelbastardwhoabusedhi m
andki ckedhim outofthehouse.Hisfather
turnedabl i
ndey e.
Hi
m andIhav
ebeent
oget
hersi
ncegr
ade10.
Hei
sabar berint
ownandal
sohust
lether
eand
t
her
eforli
ving.Wehel
peachot
herheknows
mysi
tuat
ionathomeasmuchasIknowhi s.
AsIwascooki
nghewalkedinandthatmoment
Iknewt
hebusinesswasnotpushi
ngwell
today
cozhewasbackearl
y
Mzwakhe:
"Heybaby
"hesai
dwi
thal
owv
oice
Me:
"Hey
"Wehuggedandki
ssed"
Nocl
i
ent
s
t
oday
"
Mzwakhe:"
Yeah"hesi
ghedandsatdownont
he
bedIsatnextt
ohim
Me:"
Johnf
iredmewhatarewegoingt
odo
baby
"Isai
dwi t
haneart
earsv
oice
Mzwakhe:
"Ssshdon'
tcryIwil
lmakeaplan"He
pul
l
edmet ohischestandstr
okemyback."I
l
oveyouKatandIwilldowhatev
eri
ttaketoget
usoutoft
hispover
tyokay"
Me:
"Okay
.Il
ovey
out
oo"
Mzwakhe:
"Mmhsomet
hingsmel
lsl
i
kemeat
"I
gi
ggl
edhelov
emeatty
pical
Zul
uguy
Me:
"Kl
ozalamibaki
thi
"Het
ickl
edmeIgi
ggl
ed
"
Ba.
.best
opit!
"
Mzwakhe:
"Taket
hatback"
Me:
"Okay
..
.okayawusi
l
oikl
oza"
Hest
oppedt
ickl
i
ngmeandki
ssedmycheek.
Idi
shedupf
orusweat
ewhi
l
etal
ki
ngaboutour
dr
eams.
Mzwakhe:
"Wewi l
lhaveamansioninsandt
on
baby
.You,yoursi
sterandIl
i
vingtheeli
fe.
"
Me:"
Aglasshouse.Don'
tfor
getl
uxur
iouscar
s
babybomaFerrar
i"
Mzwakhe:
"Vol
vo,
Mer
cedes"
Me:
"Iwantabi
ket
oo"
Mzwakhe:
"Mmmhthat'
ssosexy
"hebi
tehi
sli
p
maki
ngmet osmi
rk.
Whenf
ini
shedwechi
l
ledt
oget
herday
dreami
ng.
Idishedupformyli
ttl
esi
sterinal
unchbox
thenaftert
hatheaccompaniedmehome.
Aredpol
opull
edupnextt
ousaswewere
st
rol
li
ngonthepav
ementhandi
nhand
Thewindowloweredur
gitwasKhulekanit
he
kasi
cheeseboy.Hetookof
fhissunglasses
Khul
ekani
:
"HeyKat"Isai
dnothing"
Namanje
awukaf
uniukungqoma"(st
il
lyoudon'
twantt
o
dat
eme)
Mzwakhe:"
Whatthefucki
swr
ongwi
thy
ou
dude!Can'
tyouseeme!"
Khul
ekani:
"OwMzwakheIdidn'
tseeyoubr
a"he
sai
dsarcasti
c.Mzwakhecl
enchedonmyhand
Mzwakhe:
"Khul
..
"Inudgedhi
m
Me:
"Don'
tent
ert
ainhi
m babe"
Khulekani
:"
Don'tgettoocomf
ort
ablebraa
beautif
ulbabeli
keKatdoesn'
tdeser
vealoser
l
ikey oushedeserveusthebi
gboys.Youcan't
affor
dhershewi l
lendupher
e"hepathischest
thendroveoff.
Mzwakhe:
"Whothef
uckdoeshet
hinkhei
s
Nx!
!"her
oared
Me:"
Heiscr
azydon'
tl
ethi
m gett
oyou"He
si
ghed
Mzwakhe:"
Butwhathesaidi
str
uebabey ou
don'
tdeser
veaLazarusli
keme.Youdeserv
e
someonewho..
."Ipr
essedmyfi
ngeronhisli
ps
Me:"That'
snonsenseIdeser
venooneelsebut
you.Ilov
ey oudon'
tyoueverfeel
li
key
oudon't
deserveme"
Mzwakhe:
"Butba.
..
"
Me:
"There'
snobutMzwakhewear
eint
his
t
ogether
"
Hesmi
l
ed
Mzwakhe:"
Iwill
wif
eyoust
ruunasi
bheka"I
gi
ggledandlaymyheadonhi
sshoulderaswe
cont
inuewalki
ng
Whenwewer ef
ewhousesawayf rom homewe
huggedhet
henwentback.Iwalkedinsidet
he
houseandf
oundgr
andmot herkni
tti
ng.
Gogo:
"Whatar
eyouhi
dingbehi
ndy
ourback"
Me:
"Uhm not
hing"
Gogo:"
DoIlookstupi
dtoyoucomeher e"I
walkedcl
osedtoher.Shetookthepl
asti
cand
t
ookoutt hel
unchboxbeforeopeni
ngit"Meat
wheredidyougetit
"
Me:"
Iboughtit
"Shet ookthepieceandateitmy
hear
tcrumbled"It
'sThando'sfoodgogoyou
can'
teati
t"Shetookt hepiecesandspather
sal
iv
aalloverthepap" Gogo!"
Gogo:"
Her
eisyourf
oodenj
oy"Tear
sfal
lonmy
facehowcoul
dshe
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Iwasdi
schar
gedf
rom hospi
tal
aft
ert
woday
s.
Tofi
ndoutI'
m pregnantl
eftmenamypampy
cozIdon'
twantbabiesespeci
all
ynotZol
ani
'
s
baby.
I
twi
l
lbet
heconst
antr
emi
nderofZol
ani
.
Iwanttof or
getaboutthatbastar
dbutnowhow
will
Iforgetwhenthere'
smi ni
himt hati
s
growinginsi
deofmeGodI '
m screwed.
It
houghti
tst
imet
omov
eonandf
orgetIev
er
datedhi
m eish.Thi
ngsarejustamess25y ear
s
ofmylif
eIthoughtSbusisoismyfatheronl
yto
fi
ndoutthatisabigfatl
i
e!Ifounditobscur
e
whymom keptsuchbi gi
nformati
ont ome.
Iwassti
ll
atDurbandaddyorshouldIsay
Sbusi
sodoesn'
twanttoletmegot hathetook
mycarkeyshesayheneedt osortsomethings
fi
rstt
henIcango.Ihavebeenavoidi
ngmom
cozIdon'
twanttotal
ktoher.
Mom:"Babycomeongi
vemeachancet
o
expl
ain"
Me:
"Dadknowst
hatI
'
m nothi
sdaught
er?
"
Mom:
"Noandwecan'
ttel
lhi
m"
Me:
"Wowy
ouar
esomet
hingel
sey
ouknow
t
hat
"
Mom:"Babylookthi
swi l
lbr
eakmymarr
iageand
myreputat
ion.Peopl
eatchurchwi
l
lnolonger
gi
vemet herespectIdeser
ve"
Me:
"Youshoul
dhav
ethoughtaboutt
hatwhen
y
ou.openy
ourl
egsf
ory
ourhusband'
sbr
other
!
"
Mom:
"Youar
eoutofl
i
nenow!
"
Me:"
Mahowdoy ouexpectmet
ohide
somethi
ngbigli
kethi
shuh?Thi
sismyli
fewe
aret
alki
ngaboutdammit!!"
Mom: "
Nextti
meIwil
lsmackyou"Igotupfr
om
thecouchshepul
l
edmedown" Stopbeinga
spoi
lbratandwor
kwithmehere!"
Il
aughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughed
Me:
"Whoar
eyouhuh?
"
Mom:
"I
'my
ourmot
her
!"
Me:"HowdidI
..
."Wewer edi
stur
bedbyabuzzI
gotupandwentt oatt
endit
.Thepoli
cevan
droveinmyheartski
ppedabeat.One
poli
cemanandgent l
emanmadet hei
rtomy
doorstep.
Gent
leman:
"Gr
eet
ingsMsZwane"
Me:
"Uhm"Icl
ear
edmyv
oice"
Higent
lemen"
Gentleman:"
Wearetotaketot
hepoli
cestat
ion
forquesti
oningr
egar
dingTheoTsot
esti
'
s
disappear
ance"
[
05/
31,
08:
16]W:
12
KUHLEKONKE
•
Myhear
tstar
tedbeat
ingf
astsal
i
vav
ani
shedi
n
mymouth.
Me:
"Uhm Theoi
smi
ssi
ng?
"
Gentl
eman:
"Yesandwebel
i
evey
ouar
ethel
ast
per
sonwhosawhi m"
Me:
"SoI
'
m asuspectofhi
sdi
sappear
ance?
"
Gentl
eman:
"Nowej
ustwantt
oasky
ouf
ew
quest
ions"
Me:"
Ohokay"Ilookedatmy sel
fIwasi
naj
ean
andgol
fT-
shirt"CanIchangefir
st"
Gent
leman:
"Wedon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
hat
.Youar
e
notgoi
ngtoaconcer
tbutforquest
ioni
ngso
don'
twast
eourti
meMi ssZwane!"
Me:
"Noneedt
ober
udedet
ect
ivewecango"
Mom:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lourl
awy
erdon'
twor
rymychi
l
d"
Gent
leman:"
Idon'
tthi
nkthat
'snecessar
ynot
unl
essifshegotsomethi
ngtohide"Helooked
atme
Me:
"Igotnot
hingt
ohi
de"
Gent
leman:
"Thenshal
lwego"Wewal
kedout
Me:
"Ican'
tsi
tatt
hebackI
'
m notacr
imi
nal
"
Thegent
lemanchuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Gent
leman:
"Unfor
tunat
elyt
hatwherey
ougoing
t
ositMisscel
ebri
ty.
"Hesaidopeni
ngthedoor
.
Ihuf
fedandgotint hatwasthelongestdri
ve
ever
.Theytookmet oaninterr
ogati
onr oom
whereIsatdownont hechairandplacedmy
el
bowsont hetabl
e.
Gent
leman:
"SoMi
ssZwanewhenwast
hel
ast
y
ousawTheo"Hesai
dsi
tt
ingdownand
r
ecor
dedme
Me:
"Aweekbacki
fI'
m notmi
staken"
Gent
leman:
"Wher
e?"
Me:
"Att
hepar
tyt
henhedr
ovemet
omypl
ace"
Gent
leman:
"Ohsoy
oudi
dn'
tspendt
heni
ght
t
ogether
"
Me:
"No"
Helookedatmei
nt heeyespr
obabl
ytr
yingt
o
i
nti
midatemebutIdidn'
tfl
i
nch
Gent
leman:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"
Me:
"Yesdet
ect
ive"
Hechuckl
edandshookhi
shead
Gent
leman:
"Whyar
eyoul
yi
ngMi
ssZwane"
Me:
"I
'm notl
yi
ng"
Gentl
eman:"
Sothatwasthelasty
ousawhi
m
af
terhedrovey
out oyourpl
ace"
Me:
"Yes"
Gent
leman:"
Ohokay"hestoodupandwentout
t
henhecamebackwi thacolorl
esspl
asti
c.He
t
hrewitonthet
able"Thi
sisnotyourear
ing?
"I
l
ookedatthepl
ast
icandswallowedhard
Me:
"No"
Gentl
eman: "Whataconciedencethatatthe
part
yy ouwer ewear
ingthesameear ingsand
wef i
ndt hi
seari
nginoneofhi sbedroom"He
thr
ewpi ctur
esofmeandTheo
Me:"
May beIhav
esamet
ast
ewi
thTheo'
s
gi
rl
fr
iend"
Gent
leman:
"Whatar
eyouhi
dingMsZwane!
"
Me:
"Not
hing!
"
Gent
leman:
"Thenwher
eisTheo?
?"
Me:
"I
sn'
tthaty
ourj
obt
ofi
ndout
!"
Gent
leman:
"Yout
hinky
ouar
esmar
thuh"
Me:
"CanIgonow"
Gentl
eman:"
Youdoknowthatyoucoul
dbe
arr
estedf
orwit
hhel
dingi
nfor
mationt
hatcoul
d
hel
pus"
Me:"
Idon'tknowwhatdoy ouwantmet
osay
cozItol
dy ouever
ythi
ngIknow"
Gentl
eman:"Idon'
tmindlooki
ngaty
our
beaut
ifulf
acethewholeday.Youwon'
tgo
anywhereunti
lyoutel
lthetr
uth"
Me:"
Unti
lIt
ell
yout
het
rut
horwhaty
ouwantt
o
hear
?"
Gent
leman:
"Youar
eev
enr
ude!Wher
eisTheo?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow!
"Hebangedt
het
abl
ehar
dI
j
umped
"
May
beIshoul
dcal
lmyl
awy
ernow"
Gentl
eman:
"Don'
tmaket
hishar
djustt
ell
the
t
ruthIwi
lll
etyougo"
Godev enifwhenZol
aniisoutofmyli
fehei
s
sti
l
lhaunti
ngme.Idon'tknowwhydidhehad
tokil
lTheo.MaybeIshouldt
ellt
het
ruth.
•
ZI
NZI
LE
•
Iwentt
otheloungeandtookmyphonethen
br
owsethr
oughmycont actl
i
stunt
ilIf
ind
Wri
ghtNdl
elaourl
awyer.
Ididn'
treachhi
m buthi
sassi
stantwhotol
dme
thatheisinCapeTownandhewi l
lbether
efor
mont hasheisworki
ngonacase.
Idr
oppedthecal
lpani
cki
ngIknowmydaught
er
sheisabadli
arwhensheisscar
ed.
Shemi
ghtt
ell
thet
rut
handwewi
l
lbescr
ewed
dammi
t!
Itookmycarkeysandphonet henmademy
wayoutafterl
ockingthedoor
.Ihoppedi
ntomy
caranddroveout.MyhusbandandIare
workingonourmar r
iage.
Hethi
nksVincenti
susi
ngmel i
tt
ledoeshe
knowthatVi
ncentandIhadt
histhi
nggoingon
betweenusthatwemadeababyhet hi
nksi
ts
hisdaught
ermafungwasewakhedeepshi
tItel
l
you.
Thiscan'taf
for
dt ocomeoutIgotalottol
ose
i
fthet r
uthcomesout .IknowI
'm bei
ngsel
fi
shI
shouldn'
thavetoldKonkenayeshewas
pushingmaanei sh.
Vi
ncentandIwer
efr
iendsf
rom hi
ghschool
.
Wewer ebestofbestfri
endspeopleeven
thoughtwewer edating.Ast i
mewentonI
start
edf al
l
ingforhim andthatwasthebad
mi st
akeIhaveev ermadecozIknewhowmuch
ofplayerhewas.
Someofthegi
rl
shescr
ewedwerepersuaded
bymeforhi
mthathowdeepourf
ri
endshipwas.
ImetSbu,myhusbandthr
oughVincentandhe
wasadishy,
gorgeousguyIcoul
dn'tr
esisthi
s
char
ms.
Hehadaper
vadi
ngaur
aandi
twasdr
ivi
ngme
cr
azyandIthoughttomysel
fvel
eVincenti
sa
pl
ayeranddoesn'
tfeel
thesameletmegivehi
s
br
otherachance.
Myhusbandwasal oving,
romanti
ccarr
ingguy
heknewt herightt
hingstosaytomeaswel las
ther
ightplacestotouchme.Att heageof20I
gotmarri
edIwasdoi ngmysecondy ear
.
Itr
iedsohardtofightmyf eel
i
ngsf orVi
ncent
butitwashardI'
dgetj eal
ousev er
ytimewhen
hetalkabouthi
sgirlf
ri
end.Mor ondidn'
tev
en
noti
ceduntil
t
henightofmyweddi
ngandthatnightwas
whenKonkewasconcei
veddon'
tlookatme
l
iket
hat
AftertwoweeksIf oundoutIwaspr egnantand
byt hatti
mehubbyandIwer enti
ntimatehewas
busyt ry
ingtomakehi sfat
herseehi m asason
thatdeservetotakeoverhisbusinessesand
thechur chbuthi
sfatherwasonlyf ocusingon
Vincent.
SoIhadt oseducehi mtomakel ovetomecan
youimagineIhadt oseducemyownhusband.
Hewassoobsessedwi thtr
yingtopr ovehis
fat
herthathenev erhadtimef orus.Vincent
andIdidntstopfuckingandIwasenj oying
everyminuteofit
.ItoldhimIm pr egnanthe
washappyt hathewant edust ocomecl eanI
ref
usedthatwouldhav edraggedmyr eputat
ion
downandmypar entswoul dhav edisownme
whataswi zz!
Igavebi r
thtoKonkeni nemont hslaterthe
wholeManget hef amil
ywashappyexcept
Vincent.Hegotjealouseveryt
imehesawSbu
cuddlingKonke.Twomont hslaterthei
rf ather
dieditwassosadohmayhi ssoul r
estinpeace.
Hewasagoodmanexceptt hathel oved
VincentmorethanSbusi soandt hatbuilthat r
ed
andangert oSbu.Aweekl aterVi ncent'
smom
passedont oo.Shewasshoti twasat ragedy .
Vincentwasbr okenshameandt hatwast he
l
asttimeIsawhi m unt
ilweeksback.
Iwassoshockedcozweallthoughthedied.
AnywayIar
ri
vedatVee'spl
acetheguardletme
i
n.Idrov
einandparkednexttotheredporche.
Thev i
sit
orswi l
lexcuseusshameourdauht eri
s
i
ncrisi
s.Ilookedmy sel
fint
her earmirr
orf
ir
st
bef
orest eppingoutofthecar.Ifixedmyski
rt
andcloset hedoorthenmademywayi n
wit
houtknocki ng.
Iwaswel
comedbyaverydi
stur
bingsi
ght
.If
elt
ashar
ppaini
nmyheartandmywholebody
tr
embl
ed.
Ibracedmysel
fandcl
ear
edmyt hr
oat"
Mh.
mh"
Theystoppedki
ssi
ngandlookedatme.
Vee:
"Zi
nzi
hey
"hesai
dsocal
my
bastardheissti
l
l thesamehehav entchange.I
l
ookedatt hegir
l whoi smydaughtersageifnot
youngerandIwasdi sgust
ed.Whatawast eof
sperm!!!It
ri
edtocont ainmysel
fImeanI
shouldntbefeel
ingjealousIm mar
riedri
ght?
Me:
"Greet
ingsuhm canwet
alkVeeI
ts
i
mperati
ve"
Vee:"
Youcant al
kMamakaKuhl ekonke"Ohso
thathowIm addressednownotchocol
ate
muf f
in.
Me:"Pr
ivatel
yplease"Thegir
llookedatmewi th
arai
sedbr ow.Whatawast edbeaut y.If
eel
sorr
yforherpar ent
s.IswearI'
dkillKonkewit
h
mybarehandsi fshedateamanol denoughto
beherfather!Si
esurghh!
Vee:"
Babypl
easegi
veusaspaceIwi
l
lgetback
toyouinamoment"
Thegir
lwasinhi
st -
shi
rtthesamet-shir
tIl
i
ke
towearwhenIm herewit
hhim.Mybl oodwas
boi
li
ngIbi
temyt oungehardunti
lIt
astedblood
"
Nopr obl
em Nget
he"Sheki
ssedhimforfew
minut
esIwantedtoscr
eam andpul
loutmy
weave.
"
Youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
ntheshowerdontkeepme
wai
ti
ng"Shegav
ehi
m al
eersmi
l
e
Vee:
"OhIwontbaby
"Hespankedherboot
yshe
gi
ggl
edandwalkedaway
."Chocol
atemuff
in"
Me:"
Don'
tyoufuckendar
ecall
met
hat
!"my
voi
cewasshakyIwassoliv
id
Vee:"
Hawchocolatemuf f
inwhatgoty
ouso
workedup"Hewal kedtowar
dsmeandt ookmy
handsIyankedoffhishands
Me:
"Don'
ttouchmewi
thy
ourf
il
thyhands!
"
Vee:
"Ahh"hel
i
fteduphi
shandi
nsur
render
"HowcanIhel
py ou"
Me:"
Youhaven'
tchangehaveyou?Ay ounggir
l
phowhoisyoungenoughtobey ourdaught
er
ai
n'
tyouashameofy our
sel
f!
!"
Vee:
"Whatar
ey ounowcozIrememberIbur
ied
mymom.Youdon' tgett
owalkinmyhouse
uni
nvi
tedandyell
atme.Iai
n'
tyourdamnchil
d!"
Me:
"Howoldisshe?Youl
oveherorshei
sone
ofy
oursper
m dish?
"
Vee:
"Haibosiswhyar eyousoconcer nedabout
mylif
ear eyounottheonewhot ol
dmet ostay
awayfrom youandy ourfamilyI'm causing
tr
oubleforyouasifIforcedy outosl eepwith
me.Youwant edtoopeny ourlegsformeand
youenjoyeditasmuchasIdi d"
Hebr oughthisfaceclosetomyf acehi
smint
breat
hagai nstmyf acesentshi
versdownmy
spine
"
Isensej
eal
ousy
"
Me:"
Uhm"hewassuff
ocat
ingmeIcoul
dn'
t
br
eath"
NoI'
m notj
eal
ous"
Vee:
"Ar
eyousur
eaboutt
hat
"
Me:"
Im s.s.
sur
e"dammitZi
nzi
focus!Ist
epped
back"Ineedyourhel
p"
Hefol
dedhi
sar
msagai
nsthi
schestand
l
ookedatme
Vee:
"It
houghtyouandIar
enotgonnaseeeach
ot
her.Youtol
dmet ost
ayawayfr
om youwhy
shoul
dIhel
pyounow"
Me:"ComeonDon' tremindmet hatIknowwhat
Isaid.Kuhlekonkeistakenf orquesti
oning
regardi
ngthedi sappearanceoft hatguyZolani
shot.I'
m scaredshewi l
l saythi
ngsshe
shouldn'
tsayVee.Ourl awy erisinCapeTown
ri
ghtnow"
Vee:"
Isn'
tunf
airt
hatIhav
et odowhatev
eri
t
takestoprot
ectmydaughterbutI
'
m not
all
owedtobepartofherl
ife.
"
Me:
"Pl
easeVeedon'
tpl
ayt
hatcar
dtu"
Vee:
"NoZinzi
I'
mtir
edI'
m sodamnt
ir
edofy
ou!
Pl
easeleavemyhouse"
Me:
"Soyounotgoi
ngt
ohel
pourdaught
err
eal
l
y
Vi
ncent
?"
Vee:
"I
tsOURdaught
erwheni
tsui
tyou!
"
Me:
"Pl
easeManget
heI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
Vee:"
NoZinzi
leavemyhouseandIdon'twant
toseeyouagain.That
'swhaty
ouwantedisn'
t"
Me:
"Comeon.
..
"Hecutmeof
f
Vee:
"Zi
nzi
l
eIsaidgo!
!"her
oar
edIjumpedupa
bi
tandwalkedoutwi
thaheav
yheart
.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Me:
"Gogohowcoul
dyoudot
his!
"
Gogo:"Yeydon'ty
oudar erai
seyourvoiceatme.
Thatli
ttl
eslutofyoursi
sterispr
egnant!Aft
er
every
thingIhavedonef orheri
sthishowshe
thankmewi thafatherl
essbaby!!
"
Me:
"What
?"
Gogo:"Herclassteacherbr
oughtherhomeshe
wasv omitingthewholeday..
."Ididn'
twaitf
or
hertofini
shandr antoourbedr oom.Ifoundher
curl
edupi ntoaballonourmat tresscry
ingher
bal
lsout .
Me:
"Thando"Isatnextt
ohershesatup
str
aightandlookedatme.Herfacewas
swollenandredbutshesti
l
llookbeauti
ful
.
"I
s..
isitt
rue?
"thatcameoutasawhi sperIwas
afr
aidoftheanswer
Thando:
"I
'm sor
rysi
s"shebur
sti
ntoal
oudcr
y
Me:"OhmygoodnessThandowebarel
yfeed
oursel
veshowcanwefeedababy.Howcould
youdot hi
stome.Youknowhowh..
."
Thando:"MalumeSphamandladi
dthi
stomesis.
He..
he..heforcedhi
msel
fonme"sheletouta
pi
erci
ngsob.If el
tmyheartcr
umbli
ng
Me:"
Ohno"Ipull
edherintomyar msand
embracedher"
I'
m sorr
yI'm sosososorry
"How
coul
dIbesocarelessIshouldhaveknowthi
s
woul
dhappen
Thando:"
Idon'twantt
hisbabysisI
..
"She
coul
dn'tcont
inuebutcri
edlouder
Me:
"Whydidn'
tyoutellme?Whendi
dhe..
"The
t
houghtoft
hatcruelbast
ardmol
est
ingmy
si
stershat
ter
edmebey
ond.
Thando:"Hesai dhewil
lki
l
lyouand
grandmot herwill
thr
owmeoutofthehouseI
willbehomel esswit
hnoonetohelpme.
"
Me:"I
'
m sorr
yThandoIshoul
dhav
eprotect
ed
you.I
'mreal
lysor
ry"Ial
l
owedmytear
stofall
.
Thando:
"I
t'
snoty
ourf
aul
t"
Me:"Iknowi
t'
scr
uelbutIcan'
tl
etyour
aiset
his
babywehavetotakecar
eofitandweneedto
reporthi
m"
Shel
etl
osef
rom myar
msandl
ookedatme
Thando:
"No!wecan'
tsi
shewil
lki
l
lyou.Idon'
t
wantyoutodiewhatwoul
dIbewi
thoutyou
nooo"
Me:
"Hewon'
thei
sbl
uff
inghehav
etopay
..
"
Thando:
"NoSisKatpleasedon'
tI'
m begging
you"Shesobbed.Iwrappedmyarmsar ound
herandpull
edherclose,comf
ort
ingher.Wel et
outhear
twrenchingsobs.Whatki
ndofasi ster
Iam?Howcoul dIl etthi
shappen?I'm bad
sist
er.Iall
owedt hatdogv i
olat
eher,takeher
i
nnocenceandpr ide.Ishoul
dhav ebeenthere
toprotectherasIal wayspromisetobet her
e
forheranytimebutIwasnev erther
eIf ai
l
edher,
Ifai
ledher,Ifai
l
edher

[
05/
31,
08:
17]W:
13
KUHLEKONKE
•
Heleftmeal
oneint
hei
nter
rogat
ionr
oom f
or
hoursIwant
edtocr
ymystomachwasgrowli
ng.
Iplacedmyheadonthetabl
eandcriedmyl
i
fe
keepgett
ingcompl
icat
edeveryday
.
Whycan'
tIhav
epeacef
oroncei
nmyl
i
fe.
IheardthedoorswungopenIl
i
ftedmyheadup
andlookedathim.
Gent
leman:
"Youar
efr
eet
ogo"
Wi
thoutawordIwasonmyfeetandmaki
ng
mywayout"Iwi
llkeepmyey
escloseony
ou"
Me:
"Mx
m!"
ImademywayoutandsawMalumeUncle
wai
ti
ngformeout
sidenex
ttohi
samarok.
Ir
ant
ohi
m andt
hrewmy
sel
finhi
sar
ms
MalumeUncl e:"
Sshhdon'
tcr
yIgoty
oubabyI
gotyou"Icouldn'
thel
pbutwail
li
keababyhe
keptstr
okingmyback.
Me:"
IthoughtIwasnev
ergonnagetoutt
hank
you"
MalumeUncl e:"
Iwillal
wayscomet hroughfor
younomat t
erwhatsweet heart"Hepulledme
backbutIheldonhi mt i
ghter"AslongI '
m sti
l
l
ali
venothingisgoingtoharmy ou"Ifi
nall
ylet
goofhim givinghi
m achancet oplantakisson
myf or
eheadandwi pedmyt ears.Myst omach
madef unnynoises."Comel et
'sgof eedmy
gr
andchi
l
d"
Me:"
Whot ol
dyo..
.ohmom"Ist
eppedinsi
de
af
terheopenthedoort
henheclosedi
tand
wenttohi
sside.
Mal
umeUncle:"
Howarey
ouf
eel
i
ng"hest
art
ed
t
hecaranddroveof
f
Me:"
Losti
t'
sli
keI'
m st
umbl
i
ngi
nthedar
k.I
don'
tknowwheretogo"
Mal
umeUncle:
"Iunder
standwhatdoy
ouwant
metohel
pyouwi t
h"
Me:"Iwanttoknowhowar ey oumyfather
,
wherehavey oubeen, whynobodyhaveever
sai
dany t
hingabouty ou,whyareyouscrewing
yourbrot
her'
swi fe.Di
dy ouknowaboutme, do
youloveme...ev
er y
thi
ngmal umeuncle"
Wearri
vedtother
est
aur
antandweusheredto
aspeci
alt
ablewhi
chwaspri
vat
e.Weordered
ourf
ood
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Wher
ecanIbegi
n"
Me:
"Fr
om t
hebegi
nni
ng"Hesi
ghed
MalumeUncle:"
Yourmotherdoesn'
twantust
o
bepartofeachother
'sl
i
felet
'sleav
ethi
ngs
hangi
nglikethi
s"
Me:"NoMalumeUncl
emom isunfai
r.Ideser
ve
toknowwhatisgoi
ngon.HowcanIpr et
end
thatyouar
enotmyfat
her"Ourf
oodcamewe
start
edeat
ing
Malum Uncle:"Yourmom andIwer efri
ends
fr
om school .Bestfri
endsbutIwassecr etl
yin
l
ovewi thher.Thet hi
ngi stheplayerinme
couldntletmedat ehercozIknewIwasgoi ng
tohurtherandIdi dn'twantt hat
.Whenshe
datedmybr otherIwasj ealousbutIdidn't
showherIt oldmy selfatl
eastmybr ot
herisnot
aplayerhewi llt
akecar eofher "
Hedr
ankhi
sjui
ceandwi
pedhi
smout
h
"Ontheweddingnightofherandmybrother
sheconfessedherfeel
ingsformeandthat
wheny ouwereconceived"
Me:"Haasomom sl eptwit
ht hebrotherofher
husbandont heweddi ngnight.Yaztheseki nd
ofthingsaredistur
bingMalumeUncl e.Iknow
noonei sperfectbutinourey esaschildrenour
parentsareourrolemodesandt heyar esaint
s."
MalumeUncl e:
"If
eelyouheyandthat
's
changest hewayy ouguyslookatusandit'
s
unfaironuscozwear eal
sohumanMazwane.
Wemakemi stakel
ikeanyoneandwhatyour
mom andIhadwasgenui neonlyifwereacted
onourf eeli
ngsbeforeshefal
linl
ovewithmy
brother.
"
Me:"ButMawasabi tchnjeokaymay bethat
ti
meshewasy oungbutnowshei soldshe
shouldrespecthersel
f.Sheisbusywhor i
ng
withabrotherofherhusbandy etsheisaLady
Arch.Howdoesshest andinfrontoftheyout
h
andpreachaboutUbuf ebewhenshei sdoingit
hersel
f"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Don'
tyoudar
etal
kabouty
our
mot
herl
i
ket
hat
!"
Me:
"Buti
t'
sthet
rut
h"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
KUHLEKONKE!
!"
Ihuf
fedandr
oll
edmyey
es
"
Don'
trol
lyourey
esatme!
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rycont
inue"
Mal umeUncl e:"Wellwhenshet ol
dmeshei s
pregnantIwashappyandIt oldhert hatwe
shoul dcomecl eanbutsher ef used.Yourmom
alway scareaboutherr eputationandwhatwi ll
peopl esay.SoIhav etowat chmybr ot
herpl ay
myr ol
etoy ouandIhat editbutbecauseIl ov ed
yourmot herIl istenedt oher.Mybr otherandI
havedi ff
erentmoms.Mi nediedaf terourdad
died.ShewasshotIwasbey ondbr okent hatI
drownedmy selfinal cohol
.OnedaywhenIwas
comi ngfrom t hecl ubIgothi j
ackedandt hey
beatmeupi ntoapul buntilIlostmyconsci ous.
Iwokeupi nt hehospi t
alay earlater.YesIwas
i
nacomaandi tt ookmet i
metor egai
nmy
memor y.Mybi ll
swer epaidbyananony mous
thatgotmesuspi ciousandIwant edtoknow
thatperson.I
twasn' teasytofi
ndoutbutI
eventuall
ydidandhet ol
dmet hatmybr ot
her
senthim andot herguy stobeatmeupandt hey
kil
ledmymot her."
Me:"
Nodaddywi
l
lnev
erdot
hat
.Hei
samanof
God!
"
MalumeUncl
e"Sbusisoiscruel
hei
shi
ding
behi
ndbei
ngarchbishop!"
Me:
"Whywoul
dhedot
hat
"
MalumeUncle:
"Becauseourf
atherl
eftal
lhi
s
busi
nesses,
thechurchtomeandmymot her"
Me:
"Ohwow!
"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Iknowi
tsshocki
ng"
Me:"
Whywoul
dyourfatherl
eav
eev
ery
thi
ngt
o
youandy
ourmom only
"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Hehadhi
sreasons"
Me:
"Whatr
easons"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Andnowhei
spl
anningt
oki
l
l
meandhei
sworki
ngwit
hhi
smother"
Me:
"Hay
iMal
umeUncl
emyGr
annyi
sasweet
woman"
MalumeUncl e:
"Don'tbefooledmychildbya
smil
e.Idon'tli
keitthatyourmom doesn'twant
ustogetherbutsomehowi t
'sokaycozoncehe
fi
ndouthewi lluseyouagainstmeandIdon' t
wantyout ogetinvolvedinthi
sitst
oo
dangerous"
IwassoshockedIdi
dn'
tknowhowt
ofeel
Me:"
Sowhatarey
ougoi
ngtodoIdon'twant
youtodi
eIwantt
oknowyoubet
ter"
MalumeUncl
e:"
Iwontdi
edon'
twor
ryIhav
e
ey
esevenonmyback"
Me:
"Whyar
eyousochi
l
ledaboutt
his"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
I'
m notscar
edofhi
m"
Me:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hisMal
umeUncl
e"
MalumeUncle:
"Don'
tst
ressi
t'
snotgoodf
orthe
baby"Hetookmyhandandkissedi
t.Hel
ooked
upandfrowned
Me:
"Whati
sit
"It
urnedt
her
ehewasur
g
Dad:
"Howmanyti
mesdoIhav
etot
ell
yout
o
st
ayawayf
rom t
hisman!
!"
Me:"Comeondaddyhei
syourbr
otherI
'
m
boundtohav
eabondwithhi
m"
Dad:
"Whydoy
oual
way
sdef
ymeKonke!
"
Me:"
Whyar
eyoual
way
scont
rol
l
ingmeI
'
m not
achi
ld!
"
Dad:
"Don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme!
"Hesl
apped
meonmyf ace
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Whatt
hef
uck.
..
areokayAngel
"
Icoul
dntr
epl
yIj
ustcri
ed"
Dammitmaanlook
whatyoudi
dtoher
!"mynosewasbl
eedi
ng
Dad:
"Thi
sismychi
l
ddon'
tyoudar
eint
erf
ereI
will
discipl
i
neherinmyownway !
!Wozawena"
Hedr aggedmebymyhand.Wegott ohi
scarI
wascr yi
ngall
theway .Il
ookedupwhenthecar
camet oahaltthatwhenInoti
cedwewereat
gramshouse.
"
Out"Westeppedoutt
hecarandwalkedinI
wassti
l
lcr
ying.Gogoopenedherar
msf orme
Gogo:
"Ohbaby
"
Me:
"Daddyhi
tmeGogo"
Gogo:
"AwSbusi
so"
Dad:"
Shedoesn'
twanttol
ist
enwhenIt el
lhert
o
stayawayf
rom Vi
ncentMa.Pleasest
aywith
herandmakesureshedoesn'
tgoanywhere"
Gogo:
"Nopr
obl
em son"
Me:
"Whatnoy
oucan'
tl
ockmeupher
e"
Dad:"
Ohwewil
lweareprotect
ingyoudammitI
don'
tknowwhycan'
tyouseethat.Youwi
ll
stay
wit
hMamahereunti
lItel
lyouotherwi
se"
Icoul
dn'
tbel
iev ei
twhentheysai
dthatand
guesswhatIreall
yspendthewhol
emont h
l
ockedupingr amshouse.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iunderst
oodmysister
'sf
earbutIwasn'
tgoing
tolett
hatdoggetawaywitht
his.Hedeser
veto
rotinj
ail
.
Me:"
Lookbabyhei
snotgoi
ngt
oki
l
lmehewi
l
l
bearr
est
ed"
Thando:"
Whatifhecomesbackfr
om jai
land
kil
lyounosisdon'tr
epor
thi
m"heshookher
headvigorousl
ytear
sfol
l
owingonherbeaut
if
ul
face
Me:"Wewi l
lbel
onggonebyt het
imehecome
out.Iwil
ldowhateveri
tstakestogetusoutof
hereandliv
eahealthygoodlifet
hatyouandI
deserve.Wearedesti
nedforagreatli
femy
babyyouwillseeoneday
"Iwipedhertearswi
th
mypalmsandgotupf rom t
hemattress.
"Come"Ihel
doutmyhandshegr aspeditand
stoodup."
Iloveyousomuch"
Thando:
"Il
ovey
out
oosi
s"Ihel
dherhandwe
walkedout
Gogo:"Whereareyoutwogoing?"Weignor
ed
herexit
ed.Fort
unatel
yenoughthepol
i
ce
stat
ionwasnearby .
Me:
"Ai
n'
tyout
ir
ed"
Thando:
"If
eel
sosi
ck"
Me:
"Letmegi
vey
ouadonkeyr
ide"Shegi
ggl
ed
Thando:
"I
'mt
oool
dfort
hatsi
s"
Me:
"Youal
way
sbemybabysi
ssocome"
Ibentshejumpedonmybackallt
hewaywe
weresingi
ng."
It
sokayI
'
m here"
Thando:
"Nosi
slet
'
sgobackhome"
Me:
"Thandot
hatbast
ardhur
tyou,
hev
iol
ated
y
ouweneedt oputast
opi
nthi
sbef
orehedoes
i
ttoot
herchi
l
dren"
Shebr eathoutl oudl
yandnodded.Tear s
couldn'tstopflowingwhenshenar r
atedevery
detail
oft hatdayt othepolice.Iwantedtot
ake
abigkni feandgost raighttothatbastar
dand
stabhim ev erypartofhisbodyunt i
lhefeel
shis
breathshut t
ingoutsl owly
.
Wewentbackathomewi ththepoli
cemyheart
dancedwhenIsawhiscarparkedinthey
ard
whichmeansheisbackfr
om wor k.
Pol
i
ce:
"Kokoko"
Weheardshuf
fl
ingst
hengr
andmot
her
appear
ed
Gogo:
"Ohgr
eet
ings"
Pol
i
ce:
"Yebont
ombi
endal
acanwecomei
n"
Gogo:
"Yesofcour
semychi
l
d"shesaidopeni
ng
t
hestabledoor
.Wewal
kedinwi
ththepoli
ce
Pol
i
ce:
"Wear
elooki
ngf
orSphamandl
a
Mhl
ongo"
Uncl
eSpha:
"That
'sme"hesai
dasheappear
ed
fr
om hi
sbedroom Ipr
esume.
Poli
ce:
"Youareunderarrestf
orsexualassaul
t
ofMsThandoMhl ongo"Theystart
edcuffi
ng
him"youhavearighttoremainsil
enceanythi
ng
yousaycanbeusedagai nstyouinthecourtof
l
awy ouhavearightto..
."
Gogo:"
That'
snonsensethi
sgir
lisl
yi
ngphoyi
sa!
!
Heyyou!!
"shegrabbedThandobyherhandI
pushedher
Me:"
Staythefuckawayfrom mysist
er!Thi
s
bast
ardyoucallasonmol est
edmysister!
!He
i
sacr uel
evil
Satanthatdeservet
obelockedi
n
j
ail
"
Nokwanda:
"Daddy
"shecr
ied
UncleSpha:
"Don'
tcr
ysweet
hear
tdaddywi
l
lbe
back"
hesai
dgi
vi
ngThandoat
hreat
eni
ngey
ewho
hi
dbehi
ndmewi
tht
ear
sfal
l
ingdownherf
ace.
Me:"
Hewon'tt
ouchy
ounomor
e"Theywal
ked
outwit
hhi
m.
Gogo:"Youungratef
ulsl
uts!
!Howcany oubeso
cruel
lyingtothepoli
cewithsomet
hingbigl
ike
thi
shuh? ?"sheroar
ed
Me:
"I
tsnotaliei
tsthetr
uth!Yourai
seda
r
api
st!
!"If
eltahotclapl
andingonmyf ace
Gogo:"
Takey
ourr
agsandgetoutofmy
house!
!"
Me: "
Wi t
hpl
easure.Yourdayiscomingyouold
bitchandIpraythatGodkeepmet owitness
thatdaywhenKar maknockony ourdoor!
"I
tookThando'shandandwentt oourbedroom
wepackedourr agsandwal kedout
.Itwas
starti
ngtobedarkoutside.
Thando:"Wher
earewegoingt
osleepsi
sKat
maybeweshoul ddr
opthechar
gesandask
for
givness"
Me:"
Nosweethear
tthat
'snotgoi
ngt
ohappen
youandIar
egoingtobefineIpr
omi
se"
TheredPol
opul
ledoffIglazedmyey
esI
wasn'
tinamoodforKhulekani.
Khul
ekani
:"
SweetMamal
et'
smedr
ivewher
e
youguysar
egoing"
Me:
"Wear
efi
net
hanky
ou"
Khul
ekani
:
"Comeonit'
sgett
ingdar
ky ouknow
i
t'
snotsafeher
eint
histi
meofthenight"
Hewasri
ghtbutIwasntgoi
ngtogiv
ein.The
guyi
sful
lofhi
mselfIdespi
sedhi
mt ot
hecore.
Hethi
nksjustbecausehi
sfamil
yisswimming
i
nthepoolofmoneyhecangetanygi r
lhewant
ahunyi
leshamengekeanginukeyaz.
Me:
"Isai
dwear
efi
neKhul
ekani
!
"
Khulekani
:
"Youcanf ool
your
sel
fbutatt
heend
ofthedayy ouwil
lendupherewi
thme"he
hootedanddr i
veoff
Thando:
"Jesussi
sar
eyouf
orr
eal
?"
Me:
"What
?"
Thando:"Youar
eturni
ngdownt heeKhulekani
youcan'tbeser
ious.Ever
ygi
rlcankil
ltohav e
thatchance"
Me:"
I'
m notever
ygir
l.
..wai
tIfy
ousayev
erygi
rl
ar
eyouincludi
ngyoursel
f?"
Shegi
ggl
ed
"
YeThandost
ayt
hef
uckawayf
rom t
hatboy
y
ezwa!
'
Thando:
"Gossshsi
sI'
m notcr
ushi
ngonhi
m
breat
hokay"
Me:"Ihopeyouar
etel
li
ngthetr
uthcozI'
m
goingtostr
angl
eyourl
if
eoutofyou.Focuson
studi
esandmakemepr oud.St
ayveryfarf
rom
boys"
Thando:
"Buty
oust
art
eddat
ingatt
heageof16"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
thav
egui
dancewenay
ouhav
emet
o
guideyoual
ltheway
.Noboy
sunt
ily
ou
graduat
e"
Thando:
"Haaasi
sunt
ilIgr
aduat
ephot
hat
'
s7
year
sfrom now"
Me:
"Hai
boThandosuf
unaumf
anay
inmanj
e?"
Shegi
ggl
ed
Thando:"Noofcour
senotjustwant
edt
osee
yourreacti
on"shesai
dlaughing
Wear r
ivedatMzwakhe'spl
aceandknockedon
thedoor.Thedooropenedheappearedhi
s
upperbodycoveredwit
hperspi
rat
ion.
Mzwakhe:
"Babe"
Me:"
Grandmot
herchasedusoutofherhouse
wehadnowheretogo.Canwepl easestaywi
th
youforf
ewdaysunti
lIworkonsomet hi
ng"
Mzwakhe:"Ofcoursecomei n"WewalkedinI
pl
acedoursmal lsui
tcaseont opofhi
str
unk.
"I
'
m sorryt
her oom smellofmysweatIwas
doingpushups."
Me:"Thankyouforl
ett
ingusst
ay.
.ar
eyou
hungryThando"
Thando:
"NoIwantt
osl
eepI
'
mti
red"
Mzwakhe:
"Youcansl
eeponthebedi
t'
sokay"I
t
ookoffThando'
sshoesandmadehersl
eep
Thando:
"Youmakemef
eel
li
keababy
"
Me: "
Youarebabysis"Icover
edherwit
ha
blanketshedozedoffimmediat
ely
.Igotup
from thebedandwentt osi
twit
hMzwakheon
thechair
Mzwakhe: "
Talktomesthandwasami"Icoul
dn'
t
stopmyt earsfr
om f
all
ing.Mzwakhei
stheonly
personthatmakefeelfreet
ocrywhenIwantto.
Ineverhavetoactstr
ongaroundhim.
Me:"
Everyt
hingi
sjustamessbaby"Iwenton
andnarr
atedever
ythi
ngbetweensobs.Hekept
wipi
ngmyf acewit
hhishands.
Mzwakhe:"
Bast
ardshowcantheybesocr
uel
!
Youdi
drightf
orrepor
ti
nghi
m Iwisht
he
i
nmatescangi
vehi
mthet
ast
eofhi
smedi
cine
nx!
"
Me:"Whathurtmeisthatithappenedright
undermynoseandIdi dn'tseeevenat hi
ng.
Howcoul dIbesocareless.Mysisterneeded
mypr ot
ecti
onIwasbusymaki ngmoneyf or
thatPaki
stan.If
ail
edmyl it
tl
esist
er"
Mzwakhe:
"Dontbehardonyoursel
fbabyy ou
weremaki
ngmoneyf orhertosl
eepwithaf ul
l
st
omach.Youhadnocont r
olovert
hesituati
on
l
ove"
Me:"
Shei
ssoy
oungshedoesn'
tdeser
vet
his
l
if
e."
Mzwakhe: "Youalsodon'tdeserv eitnoone
deserveit.Ipromisethi
swi l
lbeov ersoonIwil
l
dietr
yingt otakeoutofthispov erty.Wegoing
toli
velikenor malpeopledon'tcryokay "I
noddedheki ssedmyey esandpr essedmy
headagai nsthischest.
Hedoesn'
thav
etosayany
thi
ngj
ustt
obei
nhi
s
war
m embr
acemakemef
eel
bet
ter
.
Amont
hlat
er
Itookcar
eoft hebaby,wear estruggl
ing
al
readyababywast helastt
hingweneeded.
Theysayababyi sblessingf
rom Godaymar a
sometimeswheny oulookat
ci
rcumstances..
.l
etmenotgof ur
thercozwhatI
mightsaywillbeobnoxious.
I
'mj
ustgl
adthatThandoi
snotthataf
fect
edi
n
not
imeshewil
lbehersel
fagai
n.
Jobhaunti
ngi snochildplayItell
y ouforthe
wholemont hIhavebeenl ookingforajobbutI
haven'
tgotone.Not hi
nggr eatwantmei t
slikeI
smelll
ikeaskunk.Ir ememberaweekbackI
pausedtoacer t
ainhouseamanandchi l
dren
wereplayi
ngoutsidewhenIgotcl oserthat'
s
whenIsawi twasI nnocentandhischi l
dren.
Innocentisthemant hatwashappywhenmom
waspr egnantwit
hme, amanthatdid
ever
ythingforher,
spoil
edherrot
ten,
amanthat
couldn'twaitt oholdhisdaught er.Thedayof
myar r
ivalonEar thchangedev eryt
hing.Itur
ned
outt obenothi sdaughter.Iuset ocryandhat e
InnocentwhenIwasy oungbecausehedeny
mei nf actthatwhatIwast oldbutasIgr ew
olderInot i
cedt herewasnoi nchof
resembl ance.Mom nev ershowedusour
fathersmay betheyarer i
chhav i
ngnicelife
whi l
ewesuf ferbutit
'sokayonedayal lt
he
mi seryandpai nwi l
lbegonei twi l
lfeelli
kea
dream.
Iwastir
edandmyf eetwer
epainf
ul.Iwal
kedal
l
thesuburbsofAl
borParkl
ooki
ngforaJobbut
dolol
o.TomorrowIwil
lbel
ooki
ngatAv i
aryHi
ll
.
Ipourwateri
ntheglassandgul
peditalldown.
Ihear
dhiswhist
lebefor
ehewalkedin.Itwas
Fri
dayar
oundSeptemberanditwasblazinghot
.
Mzwakhe:"KatKatKatKatmysugarbabbby
ay
ikhointombiengiy
thanday
okuthiandi
zul
e
mandicabangangawe"hesangthatpartofThe
Soi
lsongwhi
l
edanci
ngwi
thmei
nhi
sar
ms
Me:
"Whhoosomeonei
sinagoodmood"
Mzwakhe:
"Godi
sGoodbaby
!!
"
Me:
"Whathappenedst
handwasami"Hesmi l
ed
wi
del
yandshowedmet hecarkey
s" Carkey
s"
Mzwakhe:"Yesit
'sout
sidetheyard.Ifounda
j
obbaby .I
'm goi
ngtobewor ki
ngasaPAi na
constr
ucti
oncompanyi ntown.Isignedmy
contr
acttodayIwil
lbestart
ingonMonday "
Me:"
Wowthat
'sawesomebaby
!!
"Ihuggedhi
m
hespunmear
oundandputmedown
Mzwakhe:
"That
'snotal
lmysweetwai
tunt
ily
ou
her
etheperksofworki
ngt
here"
Me:
"Okay
"
Mzwakhe:
"Wehavecar,gadgets,cr
edi
tcar
d
andanapar
tmentwhichislocatedi
ntown"
Me:
"Youl
i
ii
ieee!
"
Mzwakhe:
"I
'm notoe!
"Igi
ggl
edIwassohappyI
wantedt
otouchthesky"SoIcamet
opi
cky
ou
guysupweareli
vingt
hisshack"
Me:"
Woowthat
'samazingl
etmestar
tpacki
ng
si
ncewear
ewai t
ingf
orThando"
Mzwakhe:"
Packingar eyouf orreal
.Wear e
l
ivi
ngtheseragshere!"Igiggledandhugged
hi
m onemor eti
me." Ilov
ey oubabyandI '
m
goi
ngtotakecareofy ouandy oursist
er.Thi
sis
j
ustthebegi
nning"
Me:"
IknowbabyIknowandwear
ebl
essedt
o
hav
et oyoui
nourli
ves"
Hepr essedhi sli
psonmi newekissedso
passionatelyandslowly.Hegrabbedmybut t
l
asci v
iouslyandsqueezedi t
.Myhands
automat i
callywrappedaroundhisneckashe
pickmeup.Icl ampedmyl egsaroundhiswaist
,
heshuf fl
edt owardsthebedandgent l
ylayme
oni tt
hengotont opofme.Heki ssedmyneck
suckingoni thardsendingti
nglysensati
on
throughoutmybody .
Hetookoffmydr essandt ossedi
taside
exposi
ngmybr east.Hetrail
edwetkissesthat
drovemecr azydownt omyst omachand
pausedthere.lustandrednessinhiseyeswere
suddenl
yr eplacedbysadness.
Igotworri
edthanithi
tmeohshi tItookthe
pi
ll
owandcov eredmyt or
npanties.Iwasso
embarrassedandashamed.Iclosedmyey es
asIfeltt
hem gett
ingwarm wi
thtears.If
elthi
s
weightontopofme
Mzwakhe: "
Baby "Idi dn'
trespondbutal l
owed
myt ear
st ofallont hesideofmyf ace.Hegot
offmeIt urnedtot heot hersidegivi
nghim my
backandwept ."It
'sokay .
.i
t'
sokay "he
whisperedonmyearwr appinghisarmsaround
mywai st"I
tal l
ov ernowdon' tcr
ysshh"Ifel
t
warml i
quidf al
li
ngont hesideofmyf acet
henI
heardhim snuffles.
Il
etitalloutunt
ilIhadhi
ccupsandheadache.
Heturnedmear oundandmakemel ookathim.
"
Ilov
eyou"
Heki
ssedmyey
esonebyoneandmynose.
Westayedi
neachother
e'sarmswit
houtsayi
ng
any
thi
ngtoeachot
heruntil
Thandoarr
ived
Thando:
"OopsI
'
m sor
ryt
odi
stur
b"
Me:
"Don'
tbesi
l
ly"It
ookmydr
essandwor
eit
Mzwakhe:
"Wel
ll
etgol
adi
es"
Thando:
"Wher
ear
ewegoi
ngI
'
m hungr
y"
Mzwakhe:
"I
tsasur
pri
se.Takeal
lyourschool
books"
Thando:
"Okaybut
i.
..
thecarout
sidebel
ongt
o?"
Mzwakhe:"
Me"Ihel
pedThandowit
hthebooks
thenwewalkedout
.Itwasabl
ackAudia3
exqui
sit
e
Me:
"Wowi
yababamos"(
it
'sbeaut
if
ul)
Mzwakhe:"
Butnotmoret
heny
oubaby"He
ki
ssedmycheekandopenedt
hedoorforme.I
st
eppedincaref
ull
y.
Thando:
"Whataboutme"Mzwakhel
aughedand
openedthedoorf
orThandot
oo"Thankyou
buti
"
Hegotinanddroveustot
heapart
ment .We
madeourwayitwassobeauti
ful
,ful
lfurnt
ured
andspaci
ous.I
tgottwobedr
ooms, al
ounge,
ki
tchenandbat
hroom.
Me:
"Il
ovei
tbaby
"
Mzwakhe:
"Thando?"
Thando:
"Wai
twegoi
ngt
ost
ayher
e?"
Me:
"Yesmybabyf
indaj
ob"
Thando:"
OhmyGod"shescreamedandjumped
upanddowni nexci
tement"
Buthowam Igoi
ng
togettoschool
"
Mzwakhe:"
Iwil
ldr
ivey
ouev
erymor
ningbef
oreI
got
owor k."
Thando:
"Thi
sisawesome!
!Thanky
ousi
sthank
youbuti
"
Mzwakhe:
"Nowl
et'
sgohav
etosomet
hingt
o
eat
"
Thando:
"Ohy
espl
easeI
m st
arv
ing"
Wedr ovetot
hemal
landst
art
eddoi
ng
shopping
thenwedidourhai
r.Ioptedforboxbr
aids,
Thandochosestr
aightbackthenMzwakhe
optedforamowhack.Wel ookedamazingaft
er
thatwewenttospurandatethenwedrov e
backtotheapar
tment.
"
Wowt
hanky
ousomuchbut
iyouar
ethebest
"
Mzwakhe:
"Thanky
ousweet
hear
t"
Thando:
"Letmegoandf
itmyclothes"shesai
d
wit
hagleefulsmi
l
eonherfaceand
di
sappeared.
Shewassohappyandthatwast
hef
ir
stt
ime
seei
ngherhappyi
nyear
s.
Me:"Thanky
ousomuchbabyshei
shappyI
'
m
happy"
Mzwakhe:"
Youaremyr esponsi
bil
i
tydon'
tthank
me"Hekissedmylipst
henwewentt oputthe
shoppi
ngbagsinourbedroom.IwassohappyI
coul
dn'
tbeli
evei
t.
AtnightweateandwatchedTVIcan' t
rememberwhenwast helastt
ime.Wewer en'
t
all
owedtowatchTVathomesoy eah.Wel
eft
Thandowatchingandwenttosleep
"
Iwi
l
lbegent
ly"heputont
her
ubber
Inoddedpr
essi
ngmyeyesshutIwasscar
ed
butIwant
edthi
sasmuchashewant edi
t.
"Openy oureyesbaby"Iopenedmyey esand
l
ookedathi m" Youraresobeautif
ul"Hepushed
i
nImov edupi twaspainful"
Rel
axokay "I
nodded" Hepushedi nagainwit
htoomuch
for
ceIscr eamedhepr essedhishandonmy
mouth" I'
m sorrybutI
'minnow"Hest arted
mov i
ngsl owlyandslowlycausi
ngpleasurabl
e
painthatmademewant edmor eandmor eofit
.
Wemadel
ovef
ort
hef
ir
stt
ime,
moani
ng,
sweat
ingandpant
ing
"
Ilov
eyou"hecol
l
apsedonme
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Thenextmor
ningIwokeupi
nthehappymoodI
wasevenhummingmyownmadesong.
Ifel
tsof
reeandr
elaxl
i
keIcoul
dseet
hel
i
ght
now.
IfoundThandointhebat
hroom showeri
ngand
si
nging.It
ookoffmyrobeandjoinedhershe
screamedIlaughed
Thando:
"Godsi
syoual
mostki
l
ledme"shehel
d
herst
omach
Me:
"Sor
ry"Weshower
edt
oget
hersi
ngi
ng
♪ ♪ ♪ Idon'
tknow,
it'
sjustsomet
hingabout
y
a
Gotmef
eel
i
ngl
i
keIcan'
tbewi
thouty
a
Any
timesomeonement
iony
ourname
Ibef
eel
i
ngasi
fI'
m ar
oundy
a
Ai
n'
tnowor
dst
odescr
ibey
oubaby
Al
lIknowi
sthaty
out
akemehi
gh
Cany
out
ell
thaty
oudr
ivemecr
azy
?
CauseIcan’
tgety
ououtmymi
nd
Thi
nkofy
ouwhenI
'
m goi
ngt
obed
WhenIwakeupt
hinkofy
ouagai
n
Youar
emyhomi
e,l
overandf
ri
end
Exact
lywhy
Youl
i
ghtmeupi
nsi
de
Li
ket
he4t
hofJul
y
Whenev
ery
ou'
rear
ound
Ial
way
sseem t
osmi
l
e
Andpeopl
easkmehow
Wel
lyou'
ret
her
easonwhy
I'
m danci
ngi
nthemi
rr
orandsi
ngi
ngi
nthe
shower
Lal
aDi
Lal
aDaLal
aDaaa
Si
ngi
ngi
ntheshower
Lal
aDi
Lal
aDaLal
aDaaa
Si
ngi
ngi
ntheshower
♪♪♪
Wefini
shedev
ery
thi
ngandwentt
omake
br
eakfast
.
Mzwakhewasst
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
Me:
"Mmmhsl
ayBabe"shegi
ggl
ed
shewasi nadenim short
,redbatcroptopand
redall
starconver
se.Icouldn'thel
pbutsmile
shewaswear ingl
ikeanyot her15yearol
dnot
thoseoldtor
nandf adedclothesweuset o
wear.
Thando:
"Thanky
ousl
ayQueen"
Iwasinabl
ackhighwaistski
nnyjean,
whit
e
guesscr
optopandblueallst
arconver
se.
Wehear
daknockont
hedoor
.Iwentt
oopeni
t.
Myey
eswer
ewel
comedbyabeaut
if
ulcar
amel
ski
nnedgir
lwi
thbi
gbrowneyes,
Engl
i
shnose
andful
lthi
ckl
i
ps.Hermakeupandweav
ewas

"
Hel
lo"shesmi
l
edr
eveal
i
nghergl
eami
ngwhi
te
t
eet
h
Me:"
Hiyoucancomei
n"Imadeawayf
orhert
o
comein
Iwon'
tli
eherbeaut
ymadef
eel
int
imi
dat
ed
somehow.
"
Thanky
ou"shewal
kedi
n.
"
I'
mlooki
ngf
orMz
wakhei
sheher
e?"
Justt
henMzwakheappear
edi
nasweatpant
s
onl
yandsl
ipper
s.
Mzwakhe:
"Pear
l"
"Ohbabe"Shewal kedt
ohim andki
ssedhis
cheek"ImissedyousomuchsoIt houghtI
shouldspendtheweekendwithyoumybagi s
i
nt hecar"
Huh?
Mzwakhe:"Ohokay.
..
Uhm"heclear
edhisthr
oat
Ilookedathi
mr i
ghti
nhiseyes"UmhPearl
thesearemysist
erstheonesIt
oldyouabout.
KatandThando"
Ohwow!
Pear
l:
"Ohyesni
cetomeety
ougi
rl
s.I
'
m Pear
l
Mzwakhe'
sgir
lf
ri
end"
I
tlikemyearswer eplayi
ngtri
ckswit
hmeI
di
dn'thearhercorr
ectlyi
nfactal
lofthi
sisa
dream."It
'
ssmel l
sniceherewhatarewe
having"
Mzwakhe:"Youcanmakeyoursel
fathome
baby.
..
letmegowearaT-shir
t"Hewal ked
awayandIf ol
l
owedhim.Icouldf
eelmyl egs
fai
l
ingme
Me:
"W.w.
.wwhat"Icoul
dn'
tut
terawor
dIwas
sol
i
vidandshaki
nguncont
rol
labl
e
Mzwakhe:
"Cal
m downandbr
eat
h"
Ibr
eat
hedoutl
oudl
yandl
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Whot
hef
ucki
sthat
!"
Mzwakhe:"
BabyIneedyout
oplayal
ong
pl
ease.
I'
m sor
ryI'
m aski
ngyout
hisI
fther
ewas
ot
herwayIwouldhavedoneit"
Me:
"Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
!"
Mzwakhe:
"Youar
etheoneIl
ovenother
st
handwasami.
..
"
Me:
"Youar
echeat
ingonmeMzwakhe"I
whi
sper
ed
Mzwakhe: "NobabyI .
.We..
I.
GodhowcanIsay
thisbutIdon'tl
oveherngithandawenapl ease
playalongtobemysi st
erunt i
lshego
otherwisewewi l
lloseeverythi
ng.Idon'twant
ust ogobackt othatli
feagainplease.Sheis
theonet hatf
indmeaj ob,actual
lyt
heCEOi s
herfather"
Me:
"OhmyGod"Tear
swel
l
edupi
nmyey
es
"
Babear
eyoual
ri
ght
"shesai
dbef
orecomi
ngi
n
"
Oht
her
eyouar
e"
Mzwakhe:
"I
m comi
ngbabyIwastel
li
ngmy
si
stert
omakeusbreakf
astshei
sthebest
cook"
Me:"Howwill
Iref
usetomakeadel i
cious
breakf
astf
ormysisteri
nlaw"Isai
dwi tha
shakyvoi
ce
Pear
lgi
ggl
ed
Pear
l:
"That
'ssosweet
"
Wewentt othekitchenandIdi shedupf orthem
cozIwasalreadyf i
nished."Thankyoubabe"I
wenttoThando'sbedr oom andt hr
ewmy sel
fon
herbedthencriedmyl ungsout .If
eltThando's
armswrappingaroundmybodyIcoul dn'
tact
str
onganymor eIcriedallowinghertoembr ace
me.
[
05/
31,
08:
17]W:
14
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Ineverknewlovecouldhurtli
kethisIsweari
ts
awor stpai
nthatIeverIf
elt.Ishouldhav
e
knownt hathecan'
tj
usthav eitall
sosuddenl
y.
Thando:"
Howcoul
dhedot
hist
oyousi
sI
thoughthel
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Hedol
oveme"
Thando:
"Aythat'
snottr
ueheischeat
ingony
ou
moreoverhesaidyouarehi
ssist
erwhat
msoonerism i
sthat
!!
"
Me:
"Hei
sdoi
ngt
hisf
orusThando"
Thando:
"Idon'
tfol
l
ow"
Me:"
Thegirl
ist
heonet
hatf
indhi
m aj
obf
rom
herf
ather
"
Thando:
"Oh"shesai
dwi
thal
owkey
Me:
"Yeah"
Thando:
"Butt
hisi
shurti
ngyousi
s.Ir
athergo
backtoourpoorl
i
fethanseeyouhur
ti
nglike
thi
s."
Me:"Noitsfi
neThando"Iwi pedmyt ear
swe
stay
edi nbedlosti
nourt houghts.Whycan'
tI
haveiteasyli
keanybody?WhydoIhav eto
watchanothergir
lplayhappywi fet
omy
boyfr
iendformet ohaveal avi
shlif
e?Whatifhe
endupf al
li
ngforherandIl osehim Godthi
sis
toomuch.
Thando:
"Let'
sgoeaty
oucan'
tst
arv
eyour
sel
f
fort
hatbit
ch"
Me:
"Ineedy
out
opl
ayal
ongThando"
Thando:
"I
'm notsur
eIfIcandot
hatsi
sshei
s
taki
ngyourman!"
Me:
"ComeonThandoy
ouwantust
ogobackt
o
t
hatl
if
eagai
n"
Thando:
"Icantenj
oyt
hisl
i
fewhi
l
eyouar
e
hurt
ingsi
swami "
Me:"
ButIdon'
twanty
outosuff
eragai
n.You
knowI'
ddoanythi
ngfory
ou"
Thando:
"Butsi
s..
."
Me:
"Ther
e'snobutbabydon'
twor
ryaboutmeI
wi
ll
beokay "
Iroll
edoutofbedandwentt othebat hroom
wher eIwashedmyswol lenface.Istared
my selfinthemi r
rorandIwasn'thappywi t
h
whatIsawcompar edtoPearl.Thatgirlis
beautifulyou'
dswearshedoesn' tdonumber2.
Isawmy sel
flosi
ngMzwakheandIcoul dn't
helpbutst art
edcr y
ingal
l ov
eragain.
Sheisbeauti
ful
,shegotmoneyandI'
m sur
e
sheiseducat
edt hoset
hingsIhav
enoneof
them.
"Si
sstopdoi
ngthi
stoy ourselfandt
ell
butit
o
breakupwit
hthi
sgir
l"saidThandoasshe
foundmecrumbli
ngont hefloorandcryi
ng.
Me:"Iwil
lbefi
ne"Isniffedmymucusawayand
gotupfrom t
hef l
oor.Iwashedmyf aceagain
thenwewentt othekitchenwherewef oundt
he
twoloverski
ssi
ngsensel essl
yIwantedto
scream l
oudl
y.Itwastoopai nf
ult
owat chbutI
br
acedmy
sel
f.
Thando:"
Mh-mh"sheclear
edherthroat
di
sturbi
ngthel
ovebir
dspur posel
y.
Wesatdownandst
art
edeat
ingwi
tht
hem.
Pear
l:
"Katy
ourey
esar
eredandswol
l
enwer
e
youcryi
ng"
Me:
"NoIhav
eey
espr
obl
ems"
Pear
l:
"OhI
'
m sor
rybabe"
Babewokunukanx!
Pearl:
"Thanksf
orbr
eakf
asty
ouar
ereal
l
ya
greatcook"
Thando:"
Youdon'thav
etopr
etendy
ouknow"
shesaidlooki
ngatPearl
Pear
l:
"Whatdoy
oumean"shel
ookedather
conf
used
Thando:
"Dr
opt
heactcozIcanseet
hrough
you!
"
Me:
"Thandost
opi
tpl
ease"
Thando:
"Ur
g!"shest
oodupandst
ompedout
.
Mzwakhel
ookedatmewi
thadi
sappr
ovi
ng
l
ook
"I
'
m sorr
y"Imout
hedandwentt
ocheckon
Thando.
If
oundheri
nherbedr
oom doingwhat
evershe
wasdoi
nginMzwakhe'
slapt
op.
Me:"Youweresor
ude"Isai
dcr
awl
i
ngnextt
o
heronthebed
Thando:
"Ican'
tst
andhersi
ght
!"
Me:"Don'
tshoutatmeIdidn'tr
aiseyoutobe
r
udet opeople.Youbet
terchangeyouratt
it
ude
younglady!
"
Shehuffedandr
oll
edherbi
gey
es"
Don'
trol
l
yourey
esatme!"
Thando:"
I'
m sorryokayI'
m sorr
ythatIcar
eal ot
aboutyou,I
'm sorr
ythatwheny ouarehurt
ing
i
tshurtmoretomeI m sor
r..
."shebursti
nto
tear
s.
Ipul
l
edheri
nmyar
msandcomf
ort
edher
Me:"
Im sor
ryt
ooThandodon'
tcr
ywewi
l
lbe
al
ri
ght"
Thando:
"Wewil
lnev
erbeokay.Nothi
ngi
sgoi
ng
tobeokaywhycan'
twejustdi
e."
Me:
"Don'
ttal
kli
ket
hatpl
ease"
Thando:
"Iwantt
obeal
one"
Me:
"Don'
tdosomet
hingst
upi
dpl
ease"
Thando:
"Imaywanttodiebutt
hatdoesn'
t
meanI'm st
rongenought
okil
lmysel
f"
Me:
"Thandopl
easeer
asenegat
ivet
hought
s"
ShenoddedIpeckedhercheeksandgotup
befor
emakingmywayout .Theywerewashing
di
shesandplayi
nginbetween.Thei
rsi
ghtcut
deepinmyheartItur
nedandwalkedaway
befor
etheyseeme.
Hedraggedmetot
hebathr
oom andshutt
he
doorcl
osedwi
thmyback.
Mzwakhe:"
I'
m sor
rypl
easedon'
tcry
"Hewiped
mytear
sawayandat t
empttokissmebutIl
ook
t
heotherside
Me:"
Don'
tki
ssmewi
tht
hosel
i
pst
hatwer
e
ki
ssi
ngher"
Mzwakhe:
"Babycomeon"
Me:"
Howwoul
dyouf
eel
ift
hisi
stheot
herway
ar
ound"
Hekeptqui
etandcl
osedhi
sey
es
"
Exact
lyMzwakhe!
"
Heopenedhi
sey
esandst
aredatme
Mzwakhe:"Babyyouknowwhatatstakenjena
pleasetr
ytounderst
and.I
t'
sonl
ytodayand
tomorrowthenyouhavemeallt
oy oursel
f"
Me:
"Don'
tyout
hinkt
hisj
obwasnev
ermeantt
o
bey
ours?"
Mzwakhe:
"Howcany
ousayt
hatKat
"
Me:
"Ibel
i
evewhatdest
inedt
obey
our
s
shoul
dn'
trequi
rey
out
osacr
if
icewhaty
oul
ove"
Mzwakhe:
"Imtry
ingher
ewomanwhycan' ty
ou
behappythatwehaveshelt
er,food,
clot
hes
andcarj
ustli
kenormalpeople!"
Me:"Wecanbehomel
essandstar
vingasl
ong
asyouar ewit
hmeMagebaIdon'
twanttolose
you"Isobbed
Mzwakhe:
"Youwon'
tl
osemeBabyIpr
omi
se
you"
Me:
"Youwi
l
lpr
etendunt
ilwhen?
"
Mzwakhe:
"Unt
ilIf
indawayt
ogetr
idofher
"
Me:"Whatifyouf
all
inlovewit
hher
.I'
m scared
ofl
osingyouMzwakheIcan'ti
magi
nemyl if
e
wit
houtyou"Tear
sstreameddownmyf ace
Mzwakhe:
"Il
oveonl
yonewomanandt hat
'
syou
baby"Hecuppedmyface"Pleaset
rustmemy
eyesar
eforyouonl
ysthandwasami"
Me:"
Sheissobeaut
if
uland.
.."Hepr
essedhis
l
ipsagai
nstmi
neandkissedmepassionat
ely
Mzwakhe:
"Youaretheonl
ybeauti
ful
womanin
myeyes"Hekissedmeagainwit
hmor ef
evor
t
hist
ime.
Hesqueezedmyboobswhi leki ssingmyneck
oht hatmyweakestpoi nt.Imoanedsof tlyand
pressedhim har dagai nstmybody .He
unbut t
onedmyj eanandsl iditdownt oget her
withmypant iesunt ili
twasonmyknees.He
turnedmear oundandshov edhi stonguei nmy
earwhi l
ecaressi ngmybr eastIcoul df eel
my selfget
ti
ngwet ter"Ilovey ouonl yy ou"He
whi sper
edinmyear" Nev erdoubtt hat"He
mademebental i
ttleandbal ancewi t
hadoor
thenhesl i
ppedi nt
omehar dIscr eamedhe
shutmeupwi thhishand" Don' tbel oud"He
startedthr
ust ingi nsl owlypi ckinguphi space.
"Bitemyhandwheny ouf eellikemoani ng"Itf
elt
mor eamazingt henl astni ghthet hrusted
harderandf ast erIbi tehi shandhar dhe
groaned.Ifeltmykneeswobbl i
ngandmy
whol ebodyconv ulsedwi t
hpl easur east he
wavesat
urat
edmybananabaskethecame
af
terme."
Youar
etheQueenofmyhear t
"
"
Babyar
eyoui
nther
e?"OhGodt
hisgi
rlmar
a
Mzwakhe:"YesbabyI'm comi ng"Hewi t
hdrawn
himselfandturnedmear ound"Ilovey ou
Khethokuhl
eMhl ongo"Ifelttear
sbur ninginmy
eyes"Heyheydon'tcryitwi l
lbefineIpr omise
you"Helif
tedmyheadupwi thhisindexf i
nger
andkissedmynose.Het ookat owel and
wipedmeandpul l
edupmyj eanaf t
ermy
panti
es.Hewi pedhimselfandf i
xedhi mself.
"Ngiy
akuthandayezwa"( Iloveyouokay )
Me:"
Ilov
eyoutoo"Hewalkedoutwhi
l
eIwent
t
oThando'sbedroom.It
ookmybookwhereI
wrot
emysongsandsatnexttoheronthebed.
"
Whichonedoy ouwanttosi
ng"
Thando:
"I
'm noti
nthemoodsi
s"
Me:
"ComeonIwantt
owor
konsomebeat
s
whi
l
ey ousi
ng"
Thando:"
Okayf
ine"Shegavemethel
apt
opand
tookthebookf
li
ppingthepages"
Mot
her
's
Love"
Me:"Iknewit
"Shelovet
hesongshesayit
'st
he
bestoutoftheone'
sIwrot
e"Readywhenyou
ready"Shestar
tedsi
ngshegotavoi
ceofan
angel.
Wespentthewholedaywor kingont
hebeats
wit
hMzwakhe'slaptoptothesongsIwrote
unti
lwedozedoff.Iwaswokenupbysof t
handsbr
ushingmyf ace.Iopenedmyeyes
whichwer
emetbyMzwakhe' ssexyeyes
Mzwakhe:"
Heywakeup"Ir
ubbedmyey
esand
satupst
rai
ght"
It
'st
imefordi
nner
"
Me:
"I
t'
s7:
30now?
"Iwi
denedmyey
es
Mzwakhe:
"Yes"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tcookIt
hou.
..
"
Mzwakhe:
"Don'
twor
rymysweetIor
der
ed
pi
zza"
Me:
"OkayI
'
m comi
ng"Hewentout
Igotupfrom t
hebedandwentt owashmy
mouthandmyf acet
henwenttothel
ounge
whereIsatdownnexttoThando.
Pear
l:
"Youmusthavebeent
ir
edy
ousl
eptt
he
whol
eaf t
ernoon"
Me:"
Yeah"If
akedasmi
l
eandt
ookt
hesl
i
ceof
pi
zzafr
om mysist
er
Thando:
"Heyt
hat
'smysl
i
cet
akey
our
s"
Me:
"HayiIwantt
hisone"Isai
dtaki
nghergl
ass
ofj
uice
Thando:"
Yousuchabul
l
y"Isnuckoutmy
toungeather
.
Lat
eraf
terwatchi
ng3moviesr
especti
vel
ythat
werehi
redbyPearlwer
eti
redt
osleep.
Thando:
"Si
swhydoyout
hinkmom hat
eus"she
sai
dsnuggli
ngcl
oset
omychest
Me:
"Idontt
hinkshehat
eus"
Thando:
"Haibosisifshel
oveusshewould
havebeenher ewit
hus.Taki
ngcareofusl
ike
othermothers"
Me:"
Shedoesn'
that
eusnorl
oveusI
'
m notsur
e
yougetwhatI
'mtr
yingt
osay
"
Thando:
"Igety
oubutmi
naIhat
eher
"
Me:"
Thatmaket
het
woofus.
..
wantmet
otel
l
youastor
y"
Thando:
"Not
hanksIhav
ehadenough"I
gi
ggled
Me:"
Thi
sonei
snewsi
swami
Icr
eat
edi
tlast
week"
Thando:"Howisitpossi
blet
hatonepersoncan
havemanyt al
entsli
keyou.Songwrit
er,musi
c
creatorandst
orymaker.Thisi
sunfai
r"Igi
ggled
"Let'
smeheart hi
soneke"
Me:"Onceuponat i
met herewasadar k
beauti
fulgi
rl
.Peopleusetocallherugl
y
becauseofherskincolourandeveryti
mewhen
shel
ookather
selfinthemir
rorshewi
l
lsee
whatpeopl
eweretalki
ngabout.
Litt
ledidsheknowt hatshewasbey
ond
beautif
ulwit
hbi gwhitepur
eeyes
Indoniy
amanzi uqobolwayo
Shehadalltheri
ghtmeatont herightpl
aces.
Theysayakukhoisokaeli
nganasi ciy
enaimpil
o
yakheeyayi
sici
sakhe.Hermot herabusedher
,
beatherupandstarvedher.
"
Thando:
"Hayt
hatmom wascr
uel
"
Me:" Crueli
sunder
stamentshesentamant o
mol esther.Thegi
rlwassobrokenandcouldn'
t
under standhowcanherownmot herdothatto
her.Whathav eshedonetodeservesuch
punishment"
Thando:
"Wher
ewasherf
ather
?"
Me:
"Thefatherpassedon.Sheranawayf r
om
t
hatmant hatwassupposetomol estherf
or
t
hesecondt i
me.Itwasatnightandv er
ydark
shedi dn'
tknowwher eshewasr unni ngt obut
shekeptr unni ngunt i
lshecol l
apsed.Don' t
forgetshewasn' teati
ngf orday s.For tunately
shewasf oundbyadoct oront hepav ement
andt ookhert ot hehospit al
.Thenextdayt he
girlwokeupi nt hehospi talandexpl ainedtot he
doct orwhathappened.Thedoct orf eltsorryfor
herandt ookheri nevent hought hegi rldi
dn't
trusthim.Thedoct ortookcar eoft hegi rl
,
boughthercl ot hesandf edherwel l.Themor e
hespendt het i
mewi t
hherhedev eloped
feeli
ngsf orher .Shewas8y earsy oungert hen
him andt hatbot heredhim.Hef eltlikehewas
takingadv antageofherbutt ruthiswhathe
wasf eel
i
ngf orherwasgenui ne,strongand
deep"
Thando:"
Mmmhbutagei
sjustanumber
.Lov
e
doesn'
tchooseage"
Me:"Thethi
ngist
hedoctorhadsomeonei
nhis
l
ifeandthatsomeonehappenedt
ohethegir
l'
s
cousin"
Thando:
"Tj
osowhatdi
dhedo"
Me:"Shechoset
ocomet r
uewi t
hhisfeel
ings
andconfessedt
othegir
lthendumpthecousin
butthi
ngstookasoutht
urn.Thecousinpushed
thegir
lonthest
air
caseandshebecame
paral
yzed"
Thando:
"Uht
hat'
ssadnowmxm t
hecousi
n
shoul
dhaveaccept
edandl
eft
"
Me:"
It
'snoteasyt
owal
kawayf
rom someone
youl
ov eThando"
Thando:
"Butsheshoul
dn'
thav
epushedherso
whathappenedaft
erthat
"
Me: "
Thedoct orwasv erysuppor ti
v eandt hegir
l
feltbl
essedt ohav ehi mi nherlif
eaf terallshe
hadnoonewhol ovedherl i
kethedoct or.She
foundsol ace,love,protectionandconf idence
from thedoctor .Onedayt hedoct orgot
arrestedforthedi sappear anceoft hecousi n
andt hatdayhi smom camet ovi
sithim butshe
foundt hegirlandchasedherout .Themot her
sawali
ttl
egir
lwhowantedt
osuckhersondr
y.
Shewonderedonthewheel
chai
rint
hestr
eet
cry
ing"
Thando:
"Ayaythi
sissadsi
skantwhendi
dshe
gothappi
ness"
Me:"
Somewomanshowedherapl acetorent
andthatf
amilyt
reat
edherl
i
keshewast hei
r
own.Theylov
edhersomuch.Li
fechangedfor
bet
terandsheregai
nedt
heworki
ngofherlegs"
Thando:
"Whataboutherboy
fri
end"
Me:"Theynev ersaweachot herthegi r
lcri
ed
hersel
ftosleepev er
y dayunti
lthi
sonedayshe
call
edthedoct oronlytofoundoutt hatthe
cousinandt hedoctorwereget ti
ngmar ri
edand
theywer eexpecti
ng.Herheartcr ushedint
o
smallpieces.
Shemanagedt omoveonandmetanewguy
theyl
ovedeachotherandtheyweredoingt
he
samecourselawthatis.Onedaythegi
rlmet
thedoct
ortheycoul
dn'tbel
iev
eitandtheywer
e
sohappyt oseeeachot heraf t
ertwoy earsbut
cir
cumst ancescouldn'tallowthem t obe
togetheranymore.Itwasnol iethattheystil
l
l
ov edeachot her
.Whent heywer etogetherit
wasl iketheywereonl ypeopleinthewor ld.
Sit
hi Isi
zulul
aokwamakhonaamanzi aphinde
amef ut
hi.Thegi
rldiscov eredthatthenewguy
i
nherl i
fewasherhal fbrotherandt hesit
uation
wor senedwhenshef oundoutshewas
pregnant "
Thando:
"Yhoayamabhadiangakankosi
yami
"
(Yhosomuchbadlucks)
Me:"Shedidn'tknowwhet herthebabywasher
brother'
sorthedoctor'
s.Shewant edt oabortit
butthedoctordidn'
twantt hathesomehowf elt
thatit
swashi sbabyandi tturnedoutt hatit
wasi ndeedhisbabyboy .Thegirlcont i
nued
withherstudiesandthedoct ordivorcedt he
cousin.Ult
imatelyt
heyfoundhappi ness
togetherandgotmar r
iedhadbeaut ifult
hree
chil
dren.Theyownedbusi nessesev erywhere
andthegir
lbecameaver
yknownlawy
erwho
neverl
ostacaseshewasashar
k
Lookingwher
et hegirlcamef r
om i
twasnteasy
butshemadei tinl
ife.Nathiwewil
lmakeitone
dayjustl
iket
hegi r
l.Wemustnev ergi
veup
maybewear efivemi nutesf
rom gl
ory
"
Thando:
"Wowthankyousisy
ourst
ori
esgi
ve
mehopealway
s.Ilov
ey ousomuch"
Me:"Il
oveyoutoobaby"Iki
ssedherheadand
str
okedherbackunti
lIhear
dherbreathi
ng
rel
axed.
Igentl
ylayherdownont hebednextt omeand
sl
eep.JustasIwasaboutt of alli
ntoslumber
moanswokemeup." OhbabyOhy esMzwakhe!
Givei
ttomeBaby !Ohhshit!
"Ibur i
edmyhead
wit
hapi l
lowbutst i
l
lIcouldhearherscr eaming
myman' sname.Imagesoft hem f ucki
ng
fl
ashedinfrontofmyey esIf elttearswarming
upinmyey es.Icri
edsil
entlycl enchingonmy
pi
ll
ow.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Thewholemont
hIwasl ockedatgramshouseI
wassofucki
ngi
rkedbutIcouldn'
tdoanyt
hing.
Theo'sbodywasf oundandsomet hingwas
foundthatlinkedhisbrutalmurder
ousmanner
toZolani
.Peopl ewer emakingspeculat
ions
that'
sZolani ki
ll
edhim becauseIsleptwit
h
Theoandr anaway .Actual
lythatwasnota
speculat
ionbuti t
sy ouandmeonl ywhoknow
thatri
ght.
Icoul
dn'thel
pbutthinkLuciagottodowit
hthi
s
peopl
edi dn'
tknowthatZolaniandIwer
eina
rel
ati
onship.
Therear
ethosewhopi
ti
edmeandt hear
e
thosewhocall
edmenamesbutIcoul
dn'
tcar
e.
WhenIst
art
edthi
scar
eerIknewwhatwasI
get
ti
ngmysel
fint
osoIpr
eparedmysel
fIhav
e
t
hingst
owor
ryaboutl
i
ket
hisbabyI
'
m car
ryi
ng.
Iwon'
tli
etoyouandsayIenj
oymypr
egnancy
cozIdon'
t.I
m notbondi
ngwi
thi
t.
WhenIl ookmyselfi
nthemi rr
orIdon'tlike
whatIseeIwantmy selfback.I'
mi nmyf ir
st
t
rimesterbutal
readyI'
m gaini
ngwei ghtdamn
youshouldseemycheekst heyar esochubbyI
l
ooklikeapuppy .
Ieatl
i
keapi ganditsfrust
rat
emetothecor
e.
Mydesignercl
otheslongerfi
tmenow.
GossshIwantthisbabyoutalr
eady.Zolani
havebeenhaunt
ingmei nmydr eams,Ihave
ni
ghtmaresandit
shardtosleep.
SoMom suggestedt
hatIshoul
dseeat herapi
st
sotodaywasgoi
ngtobemyf ir
stsessi
onbutI
st
artedatatWi
mpyforbreakf
astandwaitedfor
Si
sAnne
Isawhermaki
ngherwayi
nandl
i
ftedmyhand
up
Shewalkedtomytabl
eshelookedbeaut
if
ul i
n
cream j
amsui
t.Sheal
waysdressedt
okil
lthat
one
Si
sAnne:
"Heybaby
"Ist
oodupandwehugged
Me:
"Hey
"Wesatdown
Si
sAnne:
"Wowy
ouar
egl
owi
ng"
Me:
"Tel
lmeabouti
t"
Si
sAnne:
"Hav
eyouor
der
ed"
Me:"
NoIwaswait
ingf
ory
ou"shesnappedher
f
inger
sfort
hewai
ter
Si
sAnne:
"Twof
ull
Engl
i
shbr
eakf
ast
"
Wai
ter
:"
Dri
nks?
"
Si
sAnne:
"Or
angej
uice"
Wai
ter
:"
Comi
ngr
ightup"Hedi
sappear
ed
SisAnne:"
Whatisgoi
ngonwithy
ouIhav
e
beentry
ingtogett
oyouthewhol
edamnmont
h!
"
Me:
"I
t'
sal
ongst
ory
"
SisAnne:
"Don'
ttel
lmethatKuhl
ekonkeIneed
toknowwhathappened"
Me:"
Eishthi
ngsarehecti
cSi
sAnne"Iwenton
andtoldherwhatwentdown
Si
sAnne:
"Yourf
ami
l
yiscr
azyshame"
Me:
"Tel
lmeabouti
t"
Si
sAnne:
"Howar
eyouhol
dingup"
Me:"Idon'
tcareaboutt
hemedi
atheyal
way
s
hav
esomet hingtosay"
Si
sAnne:
"ImeanaboutZol
ani
"
Me:"
ZolaniandIbr okeupbef
orehe
di
sappeared.Ifoundouthehavebeenscr
ewi
ng
Luci
afortwoy ears"
Si
sAnne:
"Youl
i
e"shewi
denherey
es
Me:
"I
'mt
ell
i
ngy
ou"
Si
sAnne:"
TjoI'
mr eal
l
ysorr
ygir
l.That
'
s
nondi
ndwaIthoughtshei
syourbestfr
iend"
Me:"Met ooandnowI m carry
ingaconst
ant
reminderofZolaniI
tsfr
ustrati
ngSi
sAnne.I
can'tbri
ngmy sel
ftolov
et hi
sbabyIfeel
nothingfori
t"
Si
sAnne:
"Owyoupr
egnantt
hischanges
ev
ery
thi
ngnow"
Me:"
Whatdoyoumean?
"Ourf
oodcamewe
st
art
edeat
ing
SisAnne:
"Traf
fici
sshootinganewseasonand
Imanagedt ogetyouapar ttherebutnowsince
youarepregnantIdon'
tthinkitsgoingtowork"
Me:
"Noway
ssi
sAnneyouknowItal
way
smy
wi
shtowor
kwi
thBonni
eMbuli
"
SisAnne:"
Iknowthat
'swhyIgotyouapartbut
ther
e'snothi
ngIcandoKuhl
ekonke.Theywant
adetecti
vethati
sgoi
ngtoworkwi t
hBonnie
Mbuli"
Myhear
tsankIf
eltt
ear
sthr
eat
eni
ngt
ocome
out
Me:"
YouseewhyIhat
ethisbabynowI
ts
put
ti
ngastr
ainonmycareer"
SisAnne:"
Don'
ttal
kli
kethatt
herearesti
l
lother
opport
unit
ieswhenyougivebi
rt
h.Isuggestyou
takeabreakunt
ily
ougivebir
th"
Me:"NoIdon'
twantabreakIwil
ll
osemymi
nd"
Isobbedshetookoutati
ssueandgav
eme
Si
sAnne:
"Dontpuni
sht
hebabyf
orhi
sfat
her
's
si
n."
Me:"
Idon'twantitbutIdon'
twantt
oki
lli
t.
WhenIgivebirt
hIwi l
lsenditt
oZol
ani
'
s
par
ents"Iwipedmyt ears
Si
sAnne:
"Ababyneedi
t'
smot
herKuhl
ekonke"
Me:"
Canwestopt
alki
ngaboutt
his"shesi
ghed
heav
il
yandsai
dnothi
ng"How'
sChloe"
Chloeisher12yearolddaught
er.Si
sAnneis5
yearsoldert
henmeIguessy ouseewhyIcall
hersis.Sheandthefat
herofherdaught
er
separated
SisAnne:"
Tal
kati
vet
hatoneal
ways"Isaw
MalumeUnclemakinghi
swayin.Hesawme
andsmiledwell
wehaven'
tseeeachotherf
or
thewholemonth.
Hemadehi swaytowar
dshei ssucha
gorgeousmannowondermom coul dn'
tkeep
herlegscl
osednott
hatI
'm condoni
ngher
behaviort
hough.
Mal
umeuncl
e:"
Ladi
es"
Me:
"Hey"Ist
oodupandwehuggedhesmel
l
ed
sol
ovel
y
Mal
umeuncl
e:"
Imi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"Ncoot
hat
'ssosweet
..
.j
oinus"
Hel
ookedar
oundandl
ookedatt
hedoor
Mal
umeuncl
e:"
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
orsomeone"
Me:
"Sol
ongy
oucansi
tdown"
Malumeuncl
e:"
Okay
"Wesatdown" Nkosazane
excusemybadmanner
s.I
'
m VincentZwane
andyoumyLady"hesai
dtakingSi
sAnne's
handwhowasblushi
ngal
lthewaytur
ningred.
Si
sAnne:
"Uhm uhAnne"
MalumeUncle:
"Yourar
esobeaut
if
ulAnne"He
ki
ssedherhand"
Si
sAnne:
"T.
t.
.t
hanky
ou"
Me:
"Si
sAnnethisismybiol
ogi
cal
fat
her
.
Mal
umeunclethisismyagent
"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Nicet
omeety
ounkosazane"
Si
sAnnebl
ushed
Si
sAnne:
"Li
kewi
seVi
n"
Vi
nhuh damnshei
ssosmi
tt
en.
Hi
sphoner
angheanswer
edi
t
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Comei
nsi
debabyI
'
m wai
ti
ng
f
oryou"
HehungupIsawSi
sAnne'
ssmi
l
edi
sappear
ed.
Wewai
tedf
ort
hatbabyi
nant
ici
pat
ionIpr
ayed
withinmyselft
hatit
'snotMama.Hest oodup
assoonashesawher.Shewal kedtousand
kissedhischeekmyj awdropped.For
getthe
factthatthegi
rli
syoungerthanmewi tht
wo
yearsdidithavet
obeZol ani
'sex.
"Uhm babythi
sismydaught
erKuhl
ekonkeand
heragentAnne.Ladi
est
hisi
smywoman
Sqalesi
hle"
Il
ookedathi
mindi
sbel
ief"mywoman"
eshoi
nganel
eehl
azacwee!
Sihl
e:"
Nicet
omeety
oul
adi
es"shehel
douther
hand
Whyissheactinglikeshedoesn'tknowme.I
don'
t.knowwhyIdi sli
kedthegirlcozI
'
mt he
onewhot ookZolanifrom herkodaphel
aI
di
dn'
tknow.
Thesmugonherf
acesai
dital
lthi
swasher
pl
antogett
omebyscrewi
ngmyf ather
!
Me:
"Ar
eyounotashamedofy
our
sel
fyoucal
la
gi
rly
oungt
obey
ourdaught
ery
ourwoman!
!"
MalumeUncl e:"
List
enher eandl istencarefull
yI
won'tli
stentoyoushoutatmei nfrontof
peoplecausingunnecessar ydrama.I fyouf eel
theneedt osaysomet hingtomet alktome
withrespectI'
my ourfather.Idon'thavetime
foryourdramami ssdr amaQueenwheny ou
readytotalktomel i
keadaught ery ouknow
wher etofi
ndmer i
ghtnowIhav et ofeedmy
babies"hesaidsocalmyy etsobol dly
Me:
"Babi
es?
"
MalumeUncle:"
Yeswear eexpect i
ng"Hesai
d
brushi
nghertummy .Icouldn'
tbeli
evemyears
"Enj
oybreakf
astladi
es"Sihlewinkedatmeas
theywalkedt
otheirtabl
eleavingmeboili
ng
withanger
.
Pl
easecomment
,li
keandshar
epr
ett
ypl
ease
[
05/
31,
08:
18]W:
15
VI
NCENT
•
"
Calm downplease"shebr
ushedmyhandI
l
ookedathershesmi l
edmakingmet
osmile
t
oo.
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryaboutt
hat
"
Si
hle:
"Wel
lIunder
standwher
eshei
scomi
ng
fr
om "
Me:
"I
m herf
athersheshoul
drespectme"
Sihl
e:"
I'
m sur
eshedi
dntmeant
odi
srespect
you"
Ourf
oodcamewest
art
edeat
ing
Me:
"Hav
eyouspoket
oyourpar
ent
saboutus"
Si
hle:
"Um noi
tsnoteasybabe"
Me:"
It
'sonlyamat t
eroft
imetheynoti
cethat
youarepregnantandwil
lst
artaski
ngquesti
ons
sweethear
tit'
sbett
ertot
ell
them now"
Si
hle:
"Iwast
hinki
ngl
etsseal
thedeal
fir
st
beforeItel
lthem cozknowingmymom she
won'twanttodobusi nesswit
hyoual
though
sheknowst hatDanhausercommunit
iesneeda
shoppingcenter"
Me:" Okayyouhaveapoint.Manypeopleare
goingt obeagainstusbabyIneedyout obe
str
ong.Isayt hi
scozIknowmostoft hehur
tful
wor dswill
bespecifi
cal
lythr
ownaty ou"
Si
hle:
"Don'
twor
ryIwasbor
nst
rong.
"Ichuckl
ed
Me:"Il
ov eyoubabyandal lIseei
nyoui sa
womant hatIwanttomakemywi f
e, t
hemot her
ofmychi l
dren,
Iwanttowakeupev ery daywi
th
youinmyar ms,Iwanttoloveyouti
lltheworld
stop.Pleasepromisemey ouwon'
tleav eme
whent hingsgosouth.It
'sgoingt
ogethar der
promisemey ouwon'tgiveuponme, us"
Si
hle:
"IpromiseIwon'tgi
veuponusbaby .I
l
oveyout oowi t
hallmyheartandIdon'tsee
mysel
flovinganyoneexceptyou.It
'sy
ouorI
di
eIwillf
ightforustobetogetheraslongas
youpr omisetodothesame.Iknowmypar ent
s
andmygr andpar
entsar
egoi ngt
oki
ll
mewhenI
tel
lthem aboutusbutIdon'tcar
eIwi
lldi
e
fi
ghtingforustobetogether"
Ismi l
edwi delythat'
sallIwantedtohear.I '
m
donef ooli
ngar oundI '
m notgett
inganyy ounger
i
nf actallmypeer saremarri
ednow.Idon' t
regretstayi
ngt hislongcozIwoul dhavef ound
my selfsett
li
ngdownwi t
hsomeoneIdon' tlov
e.
WhenIf i
rstlai
dmyey esonSi hl
esomet hing
deephappenedi nsideofme.
Iwantedtoaskhert omar rymerightatthat
moment .Istil
lcan' tfat
hom outhowcana
youngbeaut i
ful gir
lt ur
nmywor l
dupsidedown
i
nabeaut ifulway .Shehav esomuchi mpactin
mylif
ethatIdon' tseemy selfl
i
vingwi t
houther.
Sheisevery t
hingIwanti nawomanbeaut i
ful
,
i
nnocent,respect ful,
int
ell
igent
,business
minded,funny, dev ot
edandsexy .
Iknowi
tsgoi
ngt
obehar
dforherpar
ent
sto
acceptourr
elat
ionshi
pandI'
m quit
eprepar
ed
fort
hat.Theagediff
erencemeansnot
hing
whenpeopleloveeachother
.Sheis23year
s
oldandI'
m 45yearsold.
Ican'
twaitt
oholdourlit
tl
eoneinmyarmsshe
i
sjustthebestdeci
sionIevermade,
MaJobe
wami
Si
hle:
"St
opst
ari
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
"
Me:"IswearIhavenev
erseensuchbeautyi
n
mylifesodon'tmindmyeyestheycan'
tget
enoughofy ou"
Shegavemethatsmi
l
eofher
sthatmakemy
hear
tski
pabeat
"
JesusMaj
obeIhav
eneverl
ovedsomeonethe
wayIl
ovey
ouwhathav
ey oudonetome?"
Sihl
e:"
OhMrMangetheisthatawayof
confessi
ngt
hatmykorobelaiswor
king"
Il
aughed
Me:
"Gi
vemesomemor
ebabyIl
ovel
ovi
ngy
ou"
Sihl
e:"
Wherehavey oubeenall
myl i
femar
a.I
l
ov eyouNgethe"andwhenshesay sNget
hemy
heartmelt
.Shewokeupt heteenageboyi
nme
anditfel
tsodamngood.
Wef i
nishedeat
ingIst
oodupandwentt
ohel
p
herupt henwemadeourwayout.
Me:"Iwil
ltel
lMzeett
ofet
chy ourcarl
et'
suse
mycar .Youcan'
tdri
veespecial
lynowinyour
condit
ion"
Sihl
e:"
I'
m 3monthspr
egnantbabenot7or8I
candrivemysel
f"
Me:"Ididn'
tsayyoucan'
tMajobewamiIdon'
t
wanty outodri
veandthat'
sthat
.Iwi
ll
getyoua
chauffeur"
Sihl
e:"
Butbab..
"Ipul
ledhercl
osetomeand
ki
ssedherpassionatel
y"Wow"shewhi
sper
ed
hereyessti
ll
closed
Me:"Letmetakecar
eofy ouandst
op
questi
oningmeokay"sheopenedherey
es
sl
owl
y
Si
hle:
"Okay
"shewhi
sper
edagai
n
Me:
"Whyar
eyouwhi
sper
ing"shegi
ggl
ed
Sihl
e:"
Let
'
sgeti nthecar
"Iopenedthedoorf
or
hershesteppedinthenIcl
oseditandwentt
o
myside.
Me:"
Buckl
edthebel
tbaby"shedidasIsayI
st
art
edthecaranddrov
etot hedoct
or.
Si
hle:
"Whyar
eweher
e"
Me:"
Forourf
ir
stscanbabycome"Ihel
dher
handasshesteppedoutt
henIcl
osedthedoor
.
Wemadeourwayf or
tunat
elyi
twasempt
yso
weenqui
redandgoti
n.
Me:
"Mor
ningDoc"hi
Doc:"Uhm Morningsir
"Hewasntevenlooki
ng
atmebutbusyogl i
ngmywoman.Such
disr
espect!"
Pleasetakeaseat
"Ipull
edouta
chairformylady.ShesatdownthenIsatdown
t
oo.
"HowcanIhel
pyouandy
ourdaught
ert
oday
sir
"
Ichuckl
edandshookmyhead
Me:
"Shei
snotmydaught
ershei
smywoman"
Doc:
"OhIt
hought
..
."Icuthi
m of
f
Me:"
Youthoughtwrong.Wearehereforascan
shei
s3mont hspregnantwit
hMYbaby "I
l
ookedathimrighti
nhiseyesheshif
tedabit
onhischai
r
Doc:
"Congr
atul
ati
ons"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Doc:"
Mi sspl
easegetupt
othebedandl
i
ftup
yourtop"
Ist
oodupandscoopedherupbr idal
styl
ethenI
l
aidheregentl
yonthebed.Il
i
ftedhertopup
andkissedhersmal
lbump.
Doc:
"I
sity
ourf
ir
stpr
egnancyMi
ss?
"
Si
hle:
"Yes"
Doc:
"Iwi
l
lsmeart
hiscol
dgel
ony
ourt
ummy
"
Me:"
Younotgonnadot hat"Itookthegel f
rom
hi
m" Yout
hinkI'
m goi
ngt oallowy outouchmy
womanafterIsawyouundr essingherwithyour
ey
es"
Doc:
"Idi
dn'
t.
."Icuthi
m of
f
Me:"Don'tevendenyi
tcozyouwil
lmakeme
angry"Iappli
edgelonSi
hle'
stummyshe
winced"I'
m sorr
ybaby.
..
nowdoy ourthi
ngMr
ogli
ngpat i
entsmakesureyoudon'
ttouchher
withyourhands"
Hesighedheavi
lyandstar
tedmov i
ngthatt
hing
onhertummy .Weheardheartbeati
twasso
st
rongIcouldn'
thel
pbutsmile
"Thi
sisahear
tbeatofaboycany
ouhearhow
str
ongisi
t"
Si
hle:"
Don'
tbesi
l
ly"shegiggl
edaft
ert
hedoct
or
fi
nishedIwi
pedt
hegel onhertummy
Me:"
Thankyousomuchf ort
hisper
fectgif
t"I
ki
ssedhert
ummyandwentt ohermouth.We
ki
ssedsopassi
onat
elyunti
lweheardthe
doct
orcl
eari
nghist
hroat
.
Doc:
"Her
ear
ethepr
int
out
s"
Me:"Thanky
ou"Itookt
hem andgaveSi
hlet
hen
Ihel
pherup."Haveagoodday"Wewalkedout
andgotinmycar."Doyouwantany
thi
ngto
eat?
"
Si
hle:
"Yesy ou"wi
thoutawast
eoftimeshe
l
eanedov erandunbuckledmybel
t
Me:"BabeI
'm dr
ivi
ng"Shepulledmeoutt he
touchofherhandgotmeer ected.She
massagedmebef oreputt
ingmei nsideofwet
warm mouth"Sshhhl
li
ii
"Iwincedinpleasur
e.
Sherubbedhertounge,t
wirl
ing.i
taroundmytip
Imoaned"OhGod"
Si
hle:
"Whyar
eyousl
acki
ngdr
ive"
Me:
"Youmaki
ngi
thar
doooh"
Si
hle:
"Isai
ddr
ive!
"
Me:
"I
'm dr
ivi
ngbabyohshi
t"
Thethingsshewasdoi ngwit
hhertoungedrov
e
mecr azyIcoul
dn'tf
ocusondr i
vi
ng.If
elti
t
buil
dingupwithsomuchpr essuremywhole
bodystif
fenedIrel
easedinhermouthIwas
broughtbackbyhoots.
Il
ookedupIwasdr
ivi
ngont
hewr
ongl
ane.
"AwkodwaMaj obey abonaI zintoozenzayo"
(AwMaj obeyouseewhaty ouar edoing)she
giggledandsatupst rai
ght.Il oweredmy
windowandapol ogizedt oot herdriv
ers.We
arri
vedathomeIscoopedherupshebur i
edher
faceonmyneckasImademywayi n.Il
aidher
ont hebedgentlyandt ookof fherheels
"
Isi
tri
ghtt
owearheel
swheny
ouar
epr
egnant
"
Si
hle:"
Mystomachisbar
elyshowingbabyI
won'twor
ethem whenIm atl
eastsi
xmonths
pr
egnant"
Me:
"Okay
"Itookoffmyshoesandcrawl
ednext
t
oherbefor
emakinghertoli
eontopofme.
Si
hle:
"Nget
he"
Me:
"Maj
obe"
Si
hle:
"Pr
omi
semey
ouwon'
thur
tme"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oomucht
ohur
tyou"
Sihl
e:"Iloveyoumor e"Ir
anmyf i
ngerti
pson
herhai rshemoaned" That'
sfeelssogood"
Wi t
hinnot imeshewassl eeping.Iputherdown
ont hebedandki ssedherforehead.Itookmy
phoneandcal l
edMzeet
Mzeet
:"
BossV"
Me:"Whati
staki
ngyousol
ongnowIwantt
o
getovert
hisnow"
Mzeet:"
Iwasaboutt
ocal
lyoubossVt
heyar
e
al
ltogethernow"
Me:
"Goodt
hanky
ou"
Mzeet
:"
Sur
e"
Igotupf r
om t hebedandwor emyshoest henI
wroteanot eforSihle"Wenttotakecareof
somet hi
ngIwi ll
tell
youmor eaboutitwhenI
comeback.Don' tst
ressyoursel
fbycooking
ordersomet hi
ngt oeatwheny ouhungry.Love
younunu V"It ookmycarkey sandmyphone
thenleft
.Ont hewayIt ext
edMzeett ocoll
ect
Sihl
e'scar.
Luckil
yIfoundthegat
eopenedsoIdrovei n
andparkedinthedri
veway
.Isteppedoutand
wenttothedoorwhichwasopenedbyZi nzi
.I
couldseethatshewsdshockedtoseeme.
Zi
nzi
:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"
Me:
"Hel
l
oZi
nzi
canIcomei
n"
Zinzi
:
"Noyouknowmyhusbanddoesn'
twantt
o
seeyou"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbequi
ckl
y"
Shemadeawayf
ormet
ocomei
n
Zi
nzi
:
"Hi
sint
hel
oungewi
thhi
smom come"We
wentt
othel
ounge.
Sbu:
"Ubekwayiniumcondowakhol
a!"(
whatar
e
youdoingher
e!"
Me:
"Ai
n'
tyougonnaof
fermeadr
ink.
"
Sbu:
"Idonthav
eti
mef
ory
ourgamesVi
ncent
!"
Me:"
OkayIcamet
obr
ingmy
sel
fsot
haty
ou
canki
ll
me"
Sbu:
"Whywoul
dIki
l
lyoul
i
ttl
ebr
other
"
Ichuckl
edhet
hinksIdon'
tknow
Me:"Listeny
oupeopl eandlistenmecar
eful
l
y
i
tstime.okaCaesarKuCaesarIwantal lmy
businessesandt hechurchsignedtomethe
ri
ghtfulownerbyt heendofnextweek
otherwiseIwil
lreportyouforkil
li
ngmymother
"
Theybot
hgaspedt
heydidn'
tseet
hiscomi
ng.
Zi
nzil
ookedatmeshocked
Zi
nzi
:
"What
?"
Me:
"Yourdearhusbanddi
dn'
ttel
lyout
hatal
l
thebusinessesandthechur
chbelongtome
andmyl atemom.Ourf at
herlef
tnothi
ngfor
thesetwosot heydeci
dedtokil
lmymot herand
hir
epeopl etobeatmeup"
Zi
nzi
:
"Thatcan'
tbet
het
rut
h!"
Mr
sZwaneSeni
or"
Hei
sly
ing!
"
Me:"Magogowhydon'
tyout
elly
oursonwhy
ourfat
herorshoul
dIsayMYfat
herl
efty
ouand
yoursonwit
hnothi
ng"
sheshi
ft
eduncomf
ort
abl
eont
hecouch
MrsZwaneSeni
or:
"Becausey
ourwi
tchmama
bewi
tchedmyhusband!
!"
Me:
"Ohpl
easey
ouandIknowt
het
rut
h"
Sbu:
"Mawhati
shet
alki
ngabout
"
MrsZwaneSenior:
"Idon'
tknowsonheasi
ck
bast
ardt
hisone!"
Il
aughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughed
Me:
"Bi
gbr
otherdadl
eftnot
hingf
ory
ouguy
s
cozyourmot
heri
sabi
tchy
ouar
enotdad'
s
son"
Sbul
aughedandshookhi
shead
Sbu:
"Tr
ysomet
hingel
sel
i
ttl
ebr
other
"
Me:
"Tel
lhi
mthet
rut
h"
Mr
sZwaneSeni
orst
art
edcr
ying
Sbu:
"NoMamapl
easet
ell
met
hisi
snott
rue"
Mr
sZwaneSeni
or:
"I
'm sor
ryson"shesobbed
Sbu:"
What ?Aft
erallt
heseyearsNo!
"hestood
upandbr ushedhisheadthenhesatdown
agai
n" Thi
scan'tbethetr
uthhow?whoi smy
fat
herMama! "
Hi
smom di
dn'
tanswerhi
m butcr
iedl
ouder
Me:"Shedoesn'tknowangi t
hi wayesant
uza
i
ndunul ef
t, r
ightandcenter.Iwil
lbewait
ingt
o
hearfrom youpeople"Ithenleft
.(shewas
openingherlegsleftr
ightandcent er
)
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Icoul
dn'tstayany moreatWi mpyIleft
i
mmedi atelyandsisAnnet oohadt or ushback
toJoziafterthecallsherecei
vedabouther
mom beingi nvol
vedi nacaraccident.Damn
theydi
dn'ttellmehei sthi
shothowwi l
lI
contr
olmy self.I
m scaredIwill
turnthese
sessi
onsint olovemakingsessions.
Me:
"Uhm Gr
eet
ings"
MrSibisi
:"
GreetingsMsKonke"OhmyLor d
suchlevelofhotnesscanmakey ouforget
aboutyourmor alsforasecond.Weshook
hands"Youar eshakingyouprobabl
yneeda
hug"Hewr appedhi smanlyarmsaroundme
andembr acedme.
Ii
nhal
edhisi
ntoxicat
ingscentandl
i
nger
edi
n
hi
swarm embrace.
"
Youcansi
tdownpl
ease"Isatdown
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
MrSibi
si:
"Thanky
ouMsZwaneIbeli
eveyou
andIwil
lworkwit
heachot
herf
oryoutobe
hel
ped"
Me:
"Uhm y
eah"Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
Wewentonthesessi
onwasr
athershor
tbutI
bel
i
evei
twil
lhel
pme.
MrSi
bisi
:
"Hav
eagoodday"
Me:"Youtoosir
"Ilef
tanddrov etoMalume
Uncle'
shouse.Icouldn'
twaitanylongerhe
neededtohearthat,thatbi
tchisusinghimto
spi
teme.
TheguardletmeinIdrov
ei nandparkedthe
carbefor
egetti
ngoutofi
t.Imademywayt o
thedoorandrangthebel
l.Aft
ersolongthe
dooropenedandsheappeared
Me:
"Letmei
n"
Si
hle:
"Askni
cel
y"
Me:
"Thi
sismyf
ather
'shousenoty
our
s"
Shemadeawayf
ormet
ogeti
n
"
Wherei
smyfat
her.Daddy
!Daddy
!"Isai
d
wal
ki
ngtot
heki
cthen
Sihl
e:"
Youaremaki
ngnoi
seyourfat
heri
snot
herebutyoucanl
eaveamessage"
Me:"
NoIwantt
otel
lhi
m myselft
hatyouar
e
usi
nghi
mtospit
emefortaki
ngZolani
"
Si
hle:
"Looknehyoumaybeacel
ebr
it
ybutl
i
fe
doesn'
trevol
vear
oundyou.
"
Me:
"Dr
opt
heactIknowy
oubi
tch.
..
"
Sihl
e:"List
enhereyoudon'tgett
ospeaktome
l
ikeI'm pieceofshi
t.Il
oveyourfat
herIdi
dn'
t
knowy ouarehisdaught
erandforthatIl
ove
him evenmor e"shesmirked
Me:"
Staythef
uckawayf
rom myf
ather
Sqal
esihl
e"
Si
hle:
"OrwhatI
'
m notscar
edofy
ouKuhl
ekonke
Iwil
lwipethi
sfloorwit
hyourstupidass.Just
growupandst opbeinganuisance.Yourfat
her
andIloveeachothernobodynotev enyoucan
separ
ateus"
Me:"
Don'
tbesosuredaddylov
eyoubackcoz
hi
m andmamaar ef
uckingheisj
ustusi
ngyou.
Theonl
ypersonhel
oveismymot her
"
Si
hle:
"Youar
ely
ing"
Me:
"Velet
heyhaveahi st
orytoget
herandI'
ma
r
eminderofwhattheyfeelf
oreachothersoIfI
wasyouI'
dshipout!"
Sihle:
"Getout
!"shewasshaking
uncont r
oll
abl
e"Isai
dout!!
"sher
oar
edt
ear
s
streamingdownherf ace.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwasi
nthekit
chenmakingbr
eakf
astev
eryone
wasst
il
lsl
eepi
ng.Icoul
dn'
tsl
eepl
astni
ghtthey
fuckedthewholelastandthebi
tchwas
screamingsoloudly.Iwi
pedmyt ear
sthat
couldn'
tstopf
all
ing.
Iwashurt
ingmyhear
twassoreIcouldn'tt
ake
thepai
nanymor
eitwastoomuch.Ifelthis
armswrappi
ngar
oundmef r
om behi
nd
Mzwakhe:
"Mor
ningbeaut
if
ul"
Me:"
Morni
ng"Imovedawayf r
om hi
sar
ms"
We
don'
twantPear
ltocaughtus"
Mzwakhe:
"Shei
ssl
eepi
ngbaby
"
Me:"
Luckyhersomeofuscouldn'
tsl
eeplast
ni
ghtI'
m sur
eeventhenei
ghbourshear
dher
moans"Isaidcol
dly
Mzwakhe:
"I
'm sor
rybabyI
..
"
Me:
"Doy
oul
oveher
?"
Mzwakhe:
"NoIl
ovey
ou"
Me:'
'I
fyoul
ovemewhyareyouhur
ti
ngmeli
ke
t
his.Doyouknowhowi
tfeel
stowatchy
ouwit
h
herknowi
ngt
hatshoul
dbemenother
"
Mzwakhe:
"Babywet
alkedaboutt
hisnj
e"
Me:"I
t'
seasyfory
out osayt
hatcozyouarenot
theonewhoishurti
ngMzwakhe.Irat
herhave
ourli
feback.
"
Mzwakhe:
"Whycan'ty
ouseemyef for
t?I'
m
t
ryi
ngtomakey ouhappysthandwasami.I
m
t
ryi
ngtoprov
ideyoutheli
feyoudeserv
e"
Me:"Theni
tshoul
dn'tbeli
kethi
sMzwakhe.I
shouldbehappynotcryi
ng.Iwi
llt
ell
Pear
lthe
tr
uth"
Mzwakhe:
"Whatar
eyoustupi
d?Youcan'
tdo
t
hatwecan'tl
oseal
loft
his"
Me:
"we?oryoucozIandThandoareprepar
ed
t
oloseal
lofthi
sifIhav
etobehurtl
ikethi
s!"
Mzwakhe: "
That'
sbullshityouwantt
ogoback
t
ot hatli
fe?Youcan'tbeser i
ousKat
.Youand
yoursist
erareungrateful!
"
Me:
"Youar
ebei
ngunf
airMzwakheIcan'
tst
and
thi
spain.I
'
m goi
ngtogoandtel
lPear
lnowthat
youandIaredat
ing!
"It
urnedt
owalkawayhe
grabbedmyarm
Mzwakhe:
"Wher
ethef
uckdoy
out
hinky
ouar
e
goi
ng!
!"
Me:"
Youarehur
ti
ngme"hepressedmywr
ist
har
d"LetgoofmeMzwakhe"Icri
ed
Mzwakhe:"
Youarenotgoi
ngtotel
lPearl
anyt
hingdoyouhearme!!
"Isai
dnothi
nghe
twi
stedmyarm Iscr
eamedinangui
sh"Doyou
hearme!"
Me:
"Yes!
"
Mzwakhe:
"Yeswhat
?"
Me:
"Iwon'
ttel
lher
"Icr
ied
Mzwakhe:
"That'
smybaby"hel
etgoofmyhand
andwi
pedmyt ears"
Sshhdon'
tcr
y"Hepr
essed
metohischestandst
rokedmyback.
.
.
Li
ke,
comment
,shar
epl
ease
[
05/
31,
20:
02]W:
16
VI
NCENT
•
Thi
swast heonl
ywayt ogetj
ust
icef
ormy
motherandnowI'
m start
ingt
owonderifmy
fat
herdi
edofheartat
tackorhewasalsoki
l
led
bythem.
I
'm sur
ehei snotr
est
ingi
npeaceknowi
ngt
hat
hi
sbusinessesweret
akenbySbusi
so.
Theythoughtt
heywil
lgetawaywi
tht
hei
rev
il
deedseasil
ybashay
ephansi.
Itookmyphonet ocheckonSihl
ebutshewas
notansweri
ngherphoneshewasstil
lsleepi
ngI
presumedsoIwentt owool
iesandboughtall
hercrav
ingsthenIdr
ovehome.
Me:
"Honey
"Isai
dasIwal
kedi
nIsawher
seatedont hefl
oorherbackl eanedagainstthe
fri
dgeandkneespr essedagai nstherchest.
"Baby"Idroppedtheplast
icsont hefl
oorand
rushedtoher.Ikneeledinfrontofher .
"Majobe"shelookedupatmewi thtear
yred
eyes"Whathappenedt oyoust handwasami"
shecriedlouderIpani
cked"Babywhati swrong
areyousick"
Si
hle:
"Yourdaught
erwasher
e"
Me:"
Tell
mewhatdi
dshedoIwi
l
lgosor
ther
outnow!"
Sihl
e:"
Shesaidyouandhermom ar ef
ucki
ng"
Ohshitthatmoron!"I
sittr
ue?"Iswal
l
owed
hardIcouldn'
tl
ietoheranymore
Me:
"BabyI
'
m sor
ryI
..
."shecutmeof
f
Sihl
e:"
Youl ookedmei ntheey esandl
iedtome
Vincenthowcoul dyoudot histome.You
promisemey ouwon'thurtme"shesobbedmy
heartbrokethatI'
mt hereasonforhertear
s
Me:
"I
m sor
ryl
oveI
..
"
Sihl
e:"
Howmanytimesdidy
out
wof
uck?Ar
e
youcomingf
rom hernow?"
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
Me:"3t
imesIswearbabyi twasmomentof
weaknessnothingmoreI'
mr eal
lysorr
y.Ididn'
t
wanttoloseyouandIdidn'twanttohurtyou.
Str
essi
ngy ouisthel
astthingIwantbabyI'm
ver
ysorry"
Shel
etoutal
oudsobIt
ri
edt
oembr
acedher
Sihl
e:"
Don'
ttouchme!
!"shest
oodupIdi
dthe
same
Damny
ouKonke!
Me:"Ilov
ey ou"Shewenttot hebedroom I
fol
lowedherandwor eherheels"Babyyou
can'tgopleaseletf
ixthi
s"sheignoredme
"Si
hle"Iwalkedtoherandcuppedherf ace
"Don'tgopleaseatl
eaststaymadatmebut
don'tgo"
Sihl
e:"
Leavemeal
oneVi
ncentpl
easeIdon'
t
haveenergy"
Me:
"Ngi
yakucel
a"(
Please)
Si
hle:
"By
e"Shet
ookhercarkey
s
Me:"Si
hleI
'
m beggi
ngyoust
handwasamidon'
t
goI'
m sorr
yforhur
ti
ngyoui
twasnevermy
i
ntenti
onatal
l."
Si
hle:
"3t
imesVi
ncent
?3f
ucki
ngt
imes!
!"
Me:
"Don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme!
"
Shepushedmef r
om herwayandwal kedout
l
eavingmegroani
nginfrust
rat
ion.It
ookmy
phoneandcal
lKonke
Konke:
"Daddy
"
Me:"Kl
ekywhogavey
ouapermissi
ont
ost
ick
yourpoi
ntynosei
nmybusi
ness!
"
Konke:"
Daddysheisusi
ngyoushedoesn'tl
ove
you.Shewanttospit
emefortaki
ngZolani
fr
om her"
Me:"Thatbullshitshedidn'
tknowy ouaremy
daughterKuhl ekonke.Idon'
tunderst
andwhydo
youdisli
kehercozy ouaretheonewhot ook
Zolanifr
om her .Nowshei sgoneshel eftme
becauseofy ou! !IswearKonkeifshedoesn't
for
givemeori fsomet hi
nghappent oourbabyI
won'tforgi
vey ou.St ayt
hefuckawayf rom my
businesssiyezwana! "
Konke:
"I
'ml
ooki
ngoutf
ory
oudaddy
"
Me: "
I'
m noty ourchil
dIm ol
denough.St ayv er
y
farfrom Majobeandourr elat
ionship!
!"I
droppedthecal lIwassof r
ustratedthethought
oflosingSihlekil
ledme.Iwentt othecellarand
tookawhi skeybef or
epouringitinaglass.I
gulpeditalldownandpouranot herone.
"
Hey
"It
urnedandl
ookedatZi
nzi
Me:
"Youneedt
ostopcomi ngi
nmyhouselike
i
tsy
ourhousewhathappenedtoknocki
ng!
"
Zi
nzi
:
"Geedon'
teatme"
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwant
"Igul
pedanot
hergl
ass
Zinzi
:
"Ther
e'snoneedf
ory
out
ober
udeIdi
dn'
t
knowallofthi
s"
Me:
"AndIsai
dyoudo?
"
Zinzi
:
"Yi
ningawe!"(
what'
swi
thy
ou)"
I'
mtr
ying
tohaveaconversat
ionwi
thy
ou!
"
Me:"
Isn'
tthatdi
srespect
ful
daught
erofy
our
s
shetol
dSihleyouandIfucked"
Iwal
kedt
othel
oungeandshef
oll
owedme
behi
nd
Zi
nzi
:
"Buti
t'
sthet
rut
h"
Me:"Owreal
l
ynowshei scausi
ngtroubl
eforme
andmywomanZi nziandIwon'tt
oler
atethat
!"I
satdownonthecouch
Zinzi
:
"Youcall
thatl
it
tl
egi
rlawomanohpl
ease
sheisachil
dVincent
!"
Me:
"Idon'
tcar
eIl
oveher
!"
Zi
nzi
:
"Shewantt
osucky
oudr
ywakeupand
smel
lthecof
fee!
"
Ichuckl
edandshookmyhead
Me:"I'
m notsurewet alki
ngaboutthesame
Sihl
e.SheistheMDofherpar entsconstr
uct
ion
company .MZr ecor
dl abeli
sn'
tthestudi
othe
churchchoirusetorecor dt
hesongs"
Zi
nzi
:"Yesi
tis"
Me: "
It
'sherparent
sstudio.MZbursar
ies,
MZ
taxes,MZhot el
,ever
ythi
ngthathaveMZasa
nameownsbyherpar ents."
Zi
nzi
:
"Oh"
Me:"
Thatbouti
quey oulov
eisafranchisethe
ownerishert
winsister
.Sheisafashion
desi
gneryouseeyoudon'tdoyourresearch"
Zinzi
:
"Okayfi
nebutt
hatdoesn'
tmeanyour
rel
ati
onshi
pisal
ri
ghtsheisachi
ldVi
ncent
"
Me:
"Whatbr
oughty
ouher
eexact
ly?
"
Zi
nzi
:
"Icamet
osayI
'
m sor
ryaboutwhat
happened.Pl
easetrytof
orgi
veSbusiso.He
mightnotbeyourbrot
herbybloodbutyouguy
s
grewupasbrothers.
"
Me:"Iseewhatyoutry
ingtodoty
picalofy
ou
Zinzi
.Youdon'twantmet ot
akeallt
he
businessesf
rom youguys"
Zinzi
:"Idi
dn'
tsaythatbuty
oucanwor
kas
businesspart
ners"
Il
aughed
Me:"
ThatwhatIwasgoingt
odof
rom t
hef
ir
st
pl
acehadtheynotki
l
ledmymom."
Zinzi
:
"Iunder
standbutyouneeduswhatare
yougoingtodoaboutthechurch.Youknow
nothi
ngaboutchurchVee"
Me:
"Ther
esal
way
saf
ir
stt
imef
orev
ery
thi
ng"
Zinzi
:"
I'
m pr
eparedt
ohelpyou"Shesqueezed
myt hi
gh"Iwil
lberi
ghtbyy
ourside"shel
icked
herli
ps
Me:
"Keepondr
eami
ng"
Zinzi
:
"ComeonyouandImakeagoodt
eam
youknowthat"
Me:"That'
sapastI '
m donewithyoutheonly
thi
ngt hatconnectusisKonkeandifshe
conti
nuest obedisrespect
ful
I'
m donewithyou
people"
Zi
nzi
:
"Youdon'
tmeant
hatVee"
Me:"
Doy outhi
nkIdon'
tseethatnowy
ouwi
l
li
ng
tobewithmebecauseI'
mt aki
ngmy
busi
nesses."
Zinzi
:"
I'
mveryoff
endedwhatdoy out
akeme
forI'
m apr
inci
palforgoodnesssakeIhav
e
money !
"
Me:"
YouandIknowthatthebusi
nessesmake
moremoneythanyoursal
a..
"shesmashedher
l
ipsonmine
"
Ifor
getmyphon.
..
"
Ipushedherandl
ookedatSi
hlewhohadt
ear
s
i
nherey es
Me:"Babyit'
snotwhatyout hi
nkit
sis"Ist
ood
upsher ushedtothekit
chenandt ookher
phone"Sihlepl
ease"Igrabbedherhandshe
yankeditoff
Si
hle:
"Car
ryonwit
hthemot
herofy
ourdaught
er.
YouandIdone"
Me:"ShekissedmeSihleIswearIdidn'
tki
ssher
back"Shewal kedout"Ahhh"If
istt
heairi
n
fr
ustrat
ionbeforegoi
ngtothelounge"Whydid
youdot hat?"
Zi
nzi
:
"What
?"
Me:"
IknowyouZinzi
y oupr
obal
ysawher
comingi
nthenyoukissedme!
!'
Shechuckl
edsheepi
shl
y"Getoutofmyhouse!
"
Zi
nzi
:
"Veecomeony
ouandI
..
."
Me:
"Ther
e'snoy
ouandIl
eav
e!!
"
Zi
nzi
:
"Noneedt
oshout
!"
Shest
oodupandsway
edherhi
psasshe
wal
kedout
.Itookt
hegl
asst
abl
eandsmashed
i
tonthewal
l.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Thecal
lwit
hMalumeUncl
elef
tmesadI
coul
dn'
thel
pbutcr
yIwaslooki
ngoutf
orhi
m.
Si
hlei
suptosomethi
ngIcanbetwi
thl
i
ttl
e
monst
erI
'm car
ryi
ngi
nsi
deofme.
Itookmyphoneandcal
l
edoneofmyuni
ver
sit
y
fr
iend.
Ti
ny:
"Am Idr
eami
ngorwhat
?"Il
aughed
Me:
"Youar
enotdr
eami
ng"
Tiny
:"Wuuht
shomi
unqabi
l
eman"
(wuuhf
ri
end
youarescar
ce)
Me:
"Si
spani
wet
hu"(
it
'swor
kdear
)
Ti
ny:
"Ndi
kncedengant
oni
"(HowcanIhel
pyou)
Me:"
Iwantyout
ofi
ndsomei
nfof
orme
chomami"
Ti
ny:
"Sayt
henamebaby
"
Me:"
Sqalesihl
eSi
thol
efr
om Pr
etor
iaage23
year
s.She'saMDofMZconstruct
ion
company."
Ti
ny:
"Whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngexact
ly"
Me:"
Whoist
hef
atheroft
hebabyshei
s
car
ryi
ng"
Ti
ny:
"I
'm oni
tbaby
"
Me:
"Thanky
oumyl
ove"
Ti
ny:
"Ngi
zokut
hint
ake"(
Iwi
l
lcal
lyou)
Me:
"Sur
e"
Il
ockedmy selfi
nmybedr
oom maybesisAnne
wasrightIneededbr
eakf
arawayf
rom here.
LAmay
beorNYorPar
isIneededai
rtobr
eat
he
al
othav
ehappenedIneedt
imet
omy
sel
f.
DaysturnedintoweeksMal umeUncl eisst i
ll
madatme.Ti nyf oundoutt hatthebabyi s
real
lymyf at
her'sbaby .Thegi r
lactual
lynev er
datedanyoneaf tershebr okeupwi thZol ani
.
Shewassobr okenandt houghtshewi llnever
fi
ndloveagainunt i
lmyf athercameal ong.
Ifel
tbadIdon'
twanttol
iet
oy oubutt hat
doesn'tmeanI
m coolwi
tht
hef actthatsheis
myst epmom noways!I
'
m sti
l
l goingtobreak
them up!
Daddyisamessev ersincehefi
ndoutheisnot
grandpa'
sson.Heisalwaysdrunk,
swear
ing
andshoutingatmama.
Asusualheisblami ngmamaf orhi
sdownfal
l.
MalumeUncletookev erythi
ngthatbel
ongto
hi
m sodaddyisjobless,churchl
ess,
busi
nessl
essandpenni l
ess.Henowdependon
Mamaandt hat
'sfrustratehimtothecore.
Thul
aandIarequi
tespendi
ngt
imetogether
fr
equgent
lyt
hesessi
onswehadexpandedthe
l
evel
ofourr
elat
ionshi
p.
Mom:"
Whydoy oufi
ndaconst
antneedt
obei
n
ar
elat
ionshi
pKonke"
Me:
"I
'm noti
nar
elat
ionshi
pMawear
efr
iends"
Mom:
"Fr
iendsdon'
tki
ss!
"
Igasped
Me:
"Youar
espy
ingmenow?
"
Mom:"Youj
ustcomeoutinarel
ati
onshi
pnow
youar
emov i
ngtothenextt
hati
ssowr ong!
"
Me:"
Howmanyti
mesmustIt
ell
youI
m noti
na
r
elat
ionshi
p"
Mom:"
Awuyekeukuzi
phat
hisaokonondi
ndwa!
"
(
Stopbehav
ingl
i
keaslut!
)
Me:
"Don'
tyout
hinkIt
ookaf
tery
ou"
If
eltahotcl
aponmycheek
Mom:"
Nx!
"shewalkedoutofmybedroom
l
eav
ingmebrushi
ngmybur ni
ngcheek
Amessagecamet
hroughIopenedi
t"IKNOW
YOURSECRET"
I
twasanumberIdi
dn'
tknow
Me:
"Whoar
eyou"
"WHATAREYOUWI
LLI
NGTODOFORMETO
SHUTMYMOUTH"
Me:
"Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
"
"
SECRET!SECRET!SECRET!
"
Myheartst
art
edbeagi
ngf
astIdr
oppedt
he
phoneonthebed
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Ithur
ttolovesomeonesomuchy oubel
i
eve
every
thi
ngtheysayandunder
standev
ery
sit
uati
ontheyaregoi
ngthr
ough.
Youdoanyt
hingtokeept
hem wit
hy oucozl
i
fe
wit
houtt
hem isnotev
eni
maginable.
Youturndownpeopl
ewhoar
eint
erest
edi
nyou
becauseofthem.
Wheny ouareinlovewi t
hsomeoney oureyes
arebli
ndfol
dedbyt heirsweetbeaut
if
ulwor ds,
thei
rtouch,
thei
rkisses,thei
rhugsandtheyway
theymakey oufeel
.
"Iwil
lgetri
dofhersoonpleasebeli
eveme.My
heartbeatfory
oubaby"Thosewer ehi
s
everydaywordsandIbeli
evedhim day
sturns
i
ntoweeksPear li
ssti
ll
inthepict
ureplay
ing
l
ov eydoveywit
hhim.
Ever
ysingl
esecondhei
ssli
ppi
ngoutofmy
ar
ms, I
'
m slowl
ybutsur
elyl
osi
nghi
shear
t.
Hei snolongertheMzwakheIknowt heone
thatlov
emer egardl
essofhowpoorIam al
lhe
doesnowi stoshowermewi t
hgift
sand
demandsexbutguesswhatI m st
il
lmadl
yin
l
ov ewithhim craz
yhuhIknowandI '
m so
scaredoflosi
nghi m.
Hei
stheonl
yper
sont
hathav
eev
erl
ovedme
exceptmyli
tt
lesist
er.I
twasaroundNov
ember
IwasatworkitwaslunchtimeandIwas
l
isteni
ngt
oBey oncebrokenhear
tgir
l
♪ ♪ ♪ You'
reev
ery
thi
ngIt
houghty
ounev
er
wer
e
Andnot
hingl
i
keIt
houghty
oucoul
dhav
ebeen
Butsti
l
l,y
oul
i
vei
nsi
deofme,
sot
ell
mehowi
s
that
?
You'
ret
heonl
yoneIwi
shIcoul
dfor
get
Theonl
yoneIl
ovet
onotf
orgi
ve
Andthough,
youbr
eakmyhear
t,y
ou'
ret
heonl
y
one
Andthoughtherearet
imeswhenIhat
eyou,
causeIcan'
terase
Thetimest
haty
ouhur
tmeandputt
ear
sonmy
face
Andev
ennow,
whi
l
eIhat
eyou,
itpai
nsmet
o
say
IknowI
'
llbet
her
eatt
heendoft
heday
Idon'
twannabewi
thouty
ou,
babe
Idon'
twantabr
okenhear
t
Don'twannat
akeabr
eat
hwi
thouty
ou,
babe♪ ♪ ♪
Ifoundwor kinsomebaker ybutMzwakhe
doesn'
tknowcozhemadei tclear
lythatI
shoul
dn'twor kmosheist aki
ngcar eofmeand
mysisterratherImustapplytostudywellIdi
d
appl
yinv ari
ousuniver
sit
ies.
Ithavebeentwoweekssi
nceIstartedwor
kingI
mustsayit'
snott
hatbadandt hepeopl
eare
niceandwelcomi
ng.Iwasn'tf
eeli
ngokayt
oday
Iwantedtogohomeandsl eep.
Af
terwhatf
eltl
i
kef
orev
erweknockedof
f.
Khosi
:
"Youwer
esl
acki
ngt
oday
"
Me:
"I
'm notf
eel
i
nggood"
Khosi
:
"Whati
swr
ong"
Me:
"It
hinkI
t'
sfev
er"
Themba:
"St
opgossi
pingandgeti
ngi
rl
s"
Khosi
:"
Wearenotgossi
ping"sher
oll
edher
small
eyes
Thembai
sKhosi
'
sbr
other
,hei
sat
axi
dri
ver
.
Hei
sagr
andguyhet
reatmel
i
kehi
sli
tt
lesi
ster
.
Ever
ymor ni
ngtheyf
etchmeanddropmeoffi
n
theaf
ter
noon.Theyl
iveatl
okshi
nandIst
ayi
n
town.
Wegoti
nthef
rontseatandcl
osedt
hedoor
.
Themba:
"Howwaswor
k"
Khosi
:"Worki
sworkbru.
..
youdi
dn'
tbr
ought
anyt
hingtoeatI
'
m hungr
y"
Themba:
"I
'm sor
rysi
syouwi
l
leatathome"
Me:
"Lowert
hev
olumemyheadi
spoundi
ng"
Themba"
That
'snewIt
houghty
oul
ovemusi
c"
Me:
"Nott
odaypl
ease"Ipr
essedmyt
humband
myf
ingeront
hesi
deofmyhead.
Themba:
"Ohf
uck!
"
Me:
"What
"
Themba: "
Ithi
nkwegotapunchy ooh"He
parkedaside.Wehadtogetoutofthetaxi
whileheputthespar
etir
e.Peopl
ewer e
complaini
ng
Me:
"Awcomeonpeopl
ehei
sfi
xi
ngi
tnj
e"
Woman:"
Sij
aheemakhay
athi
nasi
khathel
e
kabi
!
"(wewanttogohomeweareti
red)
Me:
"Whydon'
tyoubuyy
ourowncarke"
Woman:"
Ehnansi
imi
hlol
awhodoy
out
hinky
ou
ar
eli
tt
legi
rl
"
Me:
"Mx
m!"
Hefini
shedwegotinthenhedroveof
f.They
dr
oppedmeof fthent
heylef
t.Myheartski
pped
abitwhenIsawMzwakhe'scar.OhmyGodhe
i
sbackearlyheusual
l
ycomeathomeat6: 30
pm.
Ibreat
hedoutloudl
yst
eel
i
ngmy sel
fand
walkedinsi
de."
Wheret
hefuckarey
oucomi
ng
fr
om! "
Me:
"Uhm I
..
I.
."
Mzwakhe:
"What
?"Hewal
kedt
owar
dsme
Me:"I
'm sorr
ybabyIcouldn'
tst
ayher
elooki
ng
atthewallsit
'ssobor
ing.If
oundworkinsome
bakeryi
nt own"
Mzwakhe:
"Am Inott
aki
ngcar
eofy
ou!
?"he
shout
ed
Me:
"Youar
ebaby
"
Mzwakhe:
"Howl
onghav
eyoubeenwor
king
t
here!
"
Me:
"Twoweeks"Iwhi
sper
ed
Mzwakhe:"
Forf
ucki
ngtwoweeksyouhave
beenworki
ngbehi
ndmyback!Whatisi
tthatI
don'
tgi
veyouKathuh?
?!!
."Hegr
abbedmyar m
Idroppedmybagont hef
looraswewentt othe
bedroom."Youwantmoney "Heopeneda
drawerandtookar ol
l
edstackof200not es
"Heretakeit
!Heshoveiti
nmyhands" What
elsedoy ouwanthuh!
!"Hewenttohisbagand
tookoutasmal l
box"Heretakeit
!!whatelse
am Inotgivi
ngyou?"
Me:"Idon'
twantthesethi
ngsMzwakheIwant
yourloveonl
yyourlove"
Mzwakhe:"
Youwantlov eokayIwil
lgiv
eyou
l
ove"Heturnedmear oundandpressedme
har
dagainstthebed
Me:
"Mz
wakhey
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme"
Mzwakhe:
"Yousai
dyouwantlov
eIwil
lgi
vey
ou
l
ove"Hepull
edupmydressandsli
ddownmy
pant
iesr
oughly
Me:
"Babypl
easeI
..
"Iwascr
yingnow
Mzwakhe:
"Iwil
lgi
veyoubaby
"Heenter
edme
har
dfrom behi
ndIscr
eamedinagony"
Thi
sis
whatyouwantmyl ovetakeit"Hebangedme
har
dIcr i
edsilentl
yenduri
nghi sdeep,r
ough
,ex
cruciati
ngthrustsandclenchingonthe
duvetli
steni
ngt ohisgr
uffmoansunt i
lhe
col
lapsedonmyback.
Isnif
fedhardandwi pemyt ear
s"Babe"he
whisperedandgotof fme"Youarecryi
ngohmy
God"Hecr awledont hebedandpull
edme
cl
oset ohimself"WhatIhaveIdoneI'
m sorr
y
babyIthought..ohGod"Hewr appedhi
sarms
aroundmeasIwasl y i
ngontopofhim and
cryi
ngmyey ebal l
sout
"I
'
m sor
ryst
handwasamiI
'mreal
lysorr
y"He
ki
ssedmyhairst
roki
ngmybackunti
lIqui
eten
down.
Hemademel ookathim andcuppedmyf ace
"
Ngi y
ax ol
i
saNj omane" (
I'
m sorryNjomane)he
whisperedtearsroll
i
ngont hesidesofhisface
"
Ididn'tmeant ohurtyouIdon'tknowwhatgot
i
ntomepl easef orgi
veme"
.
.
Pl
easel
i
kecommentandshar
epr
ett
ypl
ease
[
05/
31,
20:
03]W:
17
SQALESI
HLE
•
Iknowy a'l
lshockedorwhat soev
ert hatI'
min
l
ov ewithamant hati
s22y earsolderthanme
actuall
yheisexact l
ymymom' sage.Ididn't
planittr
ustmebuti thappenedandIdon' t
regreti
tnorfeelashamed.
Ilov
eVi nhei
sallIwanti
namanhemakeme
feell
ikeI'
mtheonlywomani
ntheuni
ver
se.
WhenZolani
brokeupwi
thmeIwassobroken
unt
ilImetVi
nGodthemanisdr
ivi
ngmecrazy
.
Heknowswhathewantandhei sreadyto
settl
edownthatwhatIwantnotthesefool
ish
dickheadedguysl
i
keZolaniwhogotno
di
rect
ion.
Iforgavehimforsl
eepi
ngwiththatol
dbit
cha
mont hlat
erhewasmaki ngi
timpossi
blenot
forgivehi
m butIwon'
tli
ehereall
yhur
tmeI
trustedhi
m withev
eryt
hingi
nme.
Ihaven'
ttol
dmypar ent
sthatishethefat
her
I'
m scar
edguy stheyaregoingtoki
llmey az
daddyalmoststranglemyli
feoutofmewhenI
tol
dthem I'
m pregnantcanyouImaginewhat
wil
lhappenwhenIt ellt
hem Vinist
hefatheroh
God.
"
I'
m sor
rysi
s"
Me:
"Youareal
wayssor
ryMj!It
hinki
t'
sti
me
mom anddadknowabouty
ourshenani
gans!
"
Mj:
"Nosi
stheycan'tknowt heywil
lkil
lme
pl
easedon'
ttel
lthem I
'm beggingyou"
Mjisourl
it
tlebrotherheis15y ear
soldGod
thi
sboyisrebel
liousbutIblamemy sel
f,Kuhl
e
andInamandlacozweal way scoverupforhi
m
andbailhi
m outwhenev
erheisi
ntroubl
e.The
parent
sthi
nkshei sasweetl
i
ttl
eboyeykant
abazi.
Iwascomi ngf
rom hi
sschoolhewascaught
fi
ngerfucki
ngagir
linthecl
assr
oom
cabanga
IswearIhaveneverfel
tembarrassedli
ket
hat
i
nmyl if
eitwassoawf ul.Thepri
ncipal
wanted
tosuspendhim butIbeggedhim si
nceheis
wri
ti
ngf i
nal
yearexams.
Me:"NoI'
m goingt ot
ell
mom anddadabout
yourbehavi
ory ouareoutofli
nenow.Finger
f
uckingagirlreall
y!I
naclassroom phowhat
wereyouthinking!
!"
Mj:"
Ngiy
axol
isasi
swami "(
I'
m sor
rymysist
er)
"Pl
easedon'
ttel
li
-oledi
netai
maIpromi
seIwill
changemybehaviorandbeagoodboy"
Me:
"Yousai
dsot
hel
astt
imeMawakhel
omuzi
!
"
Mj
:
"Imeani
tthi
sti
memcwi
str
uunasi
"he
l
ickedhisfi
ngeranddr
ewacr ossonhis
forehead"
IswearonSisNkosist
handi
l
e's
grave"
Me:
"Okayf
inebutnextt
imeIwi
l
ltel
lthem"
Mj:
"Thankyousomuchsi
swami
"hel
eaned
ov
erandkissedmycheek
Idroveinandpar kedthecarinthegar
agethen
Isteppedoutoft hecar.Iwenttomybedroom
wit
hhi mf ol
lowingmebehi ndme.Iwantedto
changet heheelsmyf eetwereachi
ngand
swollen.Isatdownont hebed.
Mj:
"Iwil
ldothat
"Hecrouchinf
rontofmeand
t
ookoffmyheel s"
Don'
tyouwanttosoakthem
i
nwar m wat
er"hesai
dgivi
ngmeamassagei t
f
eltsogoodthatImoanedsoft
ly
Me:
"Noj
ustbri
ngmemyslipper
s"Hewentt
o
t
akemysli
pper
sandputt
hem on.
Mj
:
"Whatel
sedoy
ouwant
"
Me:
"Goandchangey
ouruni
for
mthenj
oinus
outsi
de.Rel
axIwon'tt
ell
thepar
ent
s"He
chuckl
edandkissedmycheek
Mj
:
"Il
ovey
ousi
s"
Me: "
Ilovey outoboy "HewentoutasIwent
outsidetoj ointhefami l
y.Wewerehav i
nga
familygat heri
ngbr aaibythepool
.Wemadei ta
tradi
tiont hateverymont hwehav efamil
y
gathering.Lastmont hwewer eatAuntyZano's
housei nDur bannextmont hwewi l
lbeat
grandpar ents'shousei nNewcastle.
"Gr
eeti
ngseever
yone"Ev
eryonewasalr
eady
havi
ngfunwit
houtmekanjannjekoda
Theygreet
edmebackBuhl
erant
omeand
huggedme
Buhl
e:"
Imi
ssedy
ou"
Me:
"Imissedy
out
oochocol
atebun"sheki
ssed
mycheek
Buhle:
"Howi
smynephewdoi
ngi
nther
e"she
brushedmyt
ummy
Me:
"Ki
cki
ngmel
i
keabal
l
"
Iwentt
ogreetmyaunt
sandunclest
henwent
togr
andpaandki
ssedhischeek.
Mkhul
u:"
Yougoodmzukul
u"
Me:"
I'
mfinegrandpa"Iwentt
ograndmothert
o
ki
sshercheekbutshepoutedherl
ipssoI
ki
ssedherl
ips
Gogo:
"Youar
egl
owi
ngbaby
"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Yourpar
ent
sar
enotcomi
ngmom?
"
Mom:
"Not
heyar
enotcomi
ng"
Me:
"Wher
eisI
naandKuhl
e"
"Ri
ghther
e"Theysai
dbehi
ndmeIr
ant
omy
brot
her
Dad:
"Don'
trunSi
hley
ouwi
l
lfal
l
!!"Weal
lgi
ggl
ed
It
hrewmyselfatI
na'sarmsheengulfedme
wi
thawarm hug.Inaisstudyi
ngatDUTbuthe
i
srent
inghesaidhewanthi sspacesothati
s
whyheisnotstay
ingatAuntyZano'spl
ace.
I
na:
"Imi
ssy
out
oosi
siza"
Ipull
edbackandlookedathi
m.I
nai
stal
land
bufftoobuf
fformyliki
ng
Me:"Aybuti
zay
ouaretoobuffnowyouneedt
o
stopworki
ngoutabi
torstoptaki
ngthe
supplement
s"
Hel
aughedandshookhi
shead
Mom:"
Stopgossipi
ngt her
eandcomegive
mommyaki ss"Hewentt omom andki
ssedher
t
henwenttogreetotherswhowerebr
aaing
meat
Kuhl
e:"
Howdi
ditgo"
Me:"
YhoIhaveneverbeggedli
kethati
nmy
whol
eli
fe.Thepr
inci
palwantedtosuspend
hi
m"
Kuhl
e:"
Hei
sget
ti
ngoutofhandnow"
Me:
"Tel
lmeabouti
t"
Wewentt
ojoi
not
her
sgr
andmot
herpul
l
edme
t
oherl
ap
Gogo:
"Howf
arar
eyousi
s"shebr
ushedmy
t
ummy
Me:
"5mont
hs"
Mom: "St
il
lwedon'
tknowanyt
hingaboutthat
boyfri
endofyour
s.Di
dyoutel
lhimthatyouare
pregnant
?"
Mamabekafunasobikaisi
subutIhav
ebeen
maki
ngnonstopexcuses.
Me:
"Yesmom"
Bongeka:
"i
hhheasazi
"
Ieyedher,Bongekai
sAuntyLuy
anda'
sbit
chy
daughter
."Ithi
nkshei
shidi
ngsomethi
ng"she
smirked
Kuhl
e:"
Shutt
hef
uckupBongeka"
Mom:
"LanguageSqal
okuhl
e"
Kuhl
e:"
Sor
ryMa"
Bongeka:
"Aunt
yZesy
ouwantt
oknowhowdi
d
youguysgott
hedeal
ofbui
l
dingapl
azaat
danhauser
"
OhGodshecan'
tdot
hist
ome
Kuhle:
"Yewenasny emfungi zokuvanxaza
manjeIsaidshutup!"Myt winsi st
erisacr y
babyguy sbutshekickasssobadev enImy sel
f
I
'm scaredofherbutdon'ttellherIsaidthat.
Mom:
"Whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutBongeka"
Me:
"Not
hingmom"Igav
eBongekaadeadst
are
Bongeka:
"Si
hlei
ssl
eepi
ngwi
thVi
ncent
"Ohshi
t!
Isweary
ouwoul
dhav
ehear
dthepi
ndr
op
Dad:
"What
!!
?"
Il
ookeddownt widdl
ingmyfi
ngersIcoul
dfeel
ever
yone'sey
esonme.Ihear d"
mpaa"sound
andlookedup.Bongekascr
eamedhy st
eri
cal
Kuhl
e:"
Itol
dyoutoshutuparrgh!Whydoy
ou
al
wayswanttocausetroubl
e!"
Aunt
yLuy
anda:
"YeywenaSqal
okuhl
ewhogav
e
youtheri
ghtt
olayy
ourst
inki
nghandonmy
daught
er!
"
Kuhl
e:"
Nx!"shegav
eBuhl
ehergl
assofwi
ne
andwalkedaway
Mom:
"Sqal
esi
hlei
sitt
rue"
Me:
"Ma?
"
Mom:
"NyaIaskedifi
sitt
rue!
!"sheshoutedher
f
acewasgett
ingvermi
li
onwithinseconds
Me:"
Mamai t
'snotl
ikethatVi
ncenti
smy
boy
fri
end.weloveeachother
"
Dad: "Boyf
ri
end?Youcal lt
hatoldmanboy f
ri
end
ain'tyouashamedofy our
self
!!I
st hi
showwe
raisedy ouSihlehuh?Tosleepwithol dmen!!
Youhav eaBl essernowhuh"Her oaredinanger
hisv einspoppingout
Mom:"
Pleaset
ell
met
hatbabyy
ouar
ecar
ryi
ng
i
snothi
s"
Me:
"I
tis"Isobbed
Dad:"
Im goi
ngtokilly
ouandgoki l
lthat
bast
ard!!
"hesaidunbuckli
nghisbel
tIgotup
fr
om granmother'
slapandattempttorunaway
buthegrabbedmyar m and"Wheredoy outhi
nk
youarerunni
ngto?"Ifel
tahotsensationonmy
l
egs
Me:
"DaddyI
'm sor
ry"Icr
iedbl
ocki
ngt
hebelt
f
rom r
eachi
ngmybodywi t
hmyhandsunt
il
Mkhul
ucameintomyr escue
Mkhulu:
"Vi
olencewon'tsol
veanythi
ngsonand
sheispr
egnanty oucan'
tbeatherup"hesai
d
pul
li
nghim awayf r
om me
Dad:
"Dadj
ustl
eav
emeal
onepl
ease!
"
Mkhulu:
"RunSi
hle!"Iranawaywi
thtear
s
bl
urr
ingmysight.Ilockedmysel
finmy
bedr
oom andcri
ed.
Godt hi
sisamessIwasangr yatBongekahow
couldsheIwantedt ot
ellmyparent
smy sel
f.
Myphoner angItookitandandgazedatthe
screenIwasdebatingwithmyselft
oanswerit
ornot
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
Vi
n:"
Heybabyar
ecr
ying"
Me:
"No"Isobbed
Vi
n:"
Babywhat
'swr
ong?
"
Me:
"I
'mf
inel
ove"
Vin:
"Whomadey oucr
ysthandwasami"I
coul
dn'tr
epl
ybutcry"
Giv
emef ewhour
sIwi
l
l
beri
ghtther
eyezwa"
Me:
"Nodont
..
"Heendedt
hecal
lbef
oreI
f
ini
shed.
Ihear
daknockont
hedoor
"
Sisit
smeMj openup"Irol
l
edoutofbedand
wenttoopent
hedoor."
Theyar
ecall
ingyou"
Me:
"Ohnot
heywantt
obeatmeup"
Mj:
"Idon'
tknowbutIdon'
tthi
nkt
heywill
beat
youup"hewipedmytearswit
hhispal
msand
t
ookmyhandaswewal keddownst
air
s.
Wef oundtheparent
sandgrandpar
entsseated
onthelounge."
scream mynamewhent hey
beatyouupIwillcomerunni
ng"hewhisper
ed
onmyearandki ssedmycheekbeforemaking
hi
swayout
Gogo:
"Howol
dist
hisVi
ncentguy
?"
Me:
"4.
.4.
.45y
ear
s"Isai
dlooki
ngdown
Gogoscr
eamedi
nshockandcl
appedher
hands
Gogo:
"Shei
stwi
cey
ourageSi
hle!
"
Me:
"IknowGogobutIl
ovehi
m"
Mom: "Ukhwelwaindodaendal aengangami
awunamahl oninxyoudisgustmeIcan' tst
and
yoursight!
"(Youaresleepingwithanoldman
ain'
tyouashamedofy oursel
f)shelookedatme
withgrimaceonherf aceandst oodup, maki
ng
herwayout .
Tearsr
oll
eddownmycheekherwordspier
ced
thr
oughmyheart
.Thewayshelookedatme
y
ou'
dswearI
'
m acow'
sshi
torcat
'
sshi
t.
Dad:
"Youhav
etobr
eakupwi
tht
hisman!
'
Me:
"What
?NoDaddyIcan'
t"
Dad:"
Theny
ouarenolongermychil
d.Leav
emy
houseandl
eav
eevery
thingthaty
oubought
wit
hmymoney "
Me:
"Daddycomeony
oucan'
tdot
hat
"Icr
ied
Dad:"
Ohandy ouar efi
red!Got othatsugar
daddyofy our
sI'm sur
ehewi lltakecar
eofy ou
andthatrabbi
ty oucarr
ying"Theyallstoodup
andleftmecryingther
ei nthelounge.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Thefoll
owingdayhecalledinsickwespendthe
wholedaytogetherhedi
dn'tal
lowmet ogoto
work.Hefeltsor
ryaboutwhathedi dhekept
apol
ogisi
ngev er
ysecond.Iwasl yi
ngontopof
hi
m ashewasst
roki
ngmyhai
r
Mzwakhe:
"I
'm sor
rysthandwasami
Ilosti
t.I
don'
twantt
olosey ouKat"
Me:
"YetI
'
mlosi
ngy
ou"
Mzwakhe: "Youarenotl osi
ngmeKat .Im doing
thisforusbaby ,f
oryouandy oursi
sternot
hing
mor eIdon'tlovethatgirl
.Ifeell
i
kesomer ich
niggawi l
lcomeandt akeyouawayf rom meI
willdowhat everi
tstakest okeepyou"
Me:"Don'ty ouseet hatyouar epushingme
awaybydoi ngt his.I'
ml osingy ouMzwakhey ou
l
ookathert hewayy ouuset olookatme.You
arealway swi thhery ounol ongerspendtime
withme.Youhav eturnedourl oveintosome
businesstr ansact i
on.Youbuymegi ft
sandI
giveyousexI thur tMzwakhe"Icr i
ed"Iloveyou
forwhoy ouar eIdon' tcarewhaty ouhav eI
wouldn'thav espendal lthesey ear
swi t
hy ouifI
wasaf terwhaty ouhav e.Iwoul dhavewentt o
Khulekani andl eftyoubutnoher eam Iwit hyou
endur
ingt
hepai
nyouar
ecausi
ngme"Isnuf
fl
es
Mzwakhe:
"I
'm sor
rysweet
hear
tIdidn'
treal
i
ze
I
m hur
ti
ngyout hi
smuch.Iwil
lgetri
dofher"
Me:
"That
swhaty
ouhav
ebeensay
ingf
orweeks
Mzwakhe!
"
Mzwakhe:
"Don'
tshoutatme!
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Mzwakhe:
"Idon'
twantt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
oubaby
"
Me:
"Dumpherandl
et'
sgobackt
oourol
dli
fe"
Mzwakhe:
"Wedon'thavet
oloseever
ythi
nggive
mefewmor eday
sI '
m wor
kingonsomething"
Isai
dnot
hingcozhewaslyi
ngMzwakhehad
nomeansofgett
ingr
idofPear
l.
Mzwakhe:
"Let
'sgof
etchThandoandgohav
e
i
cecream"
Me:
"Okay
"
Mzwakhe:
"Il
ovey
ousomuch"
Me:
"Mmh"
Mzwakhe:
"Isai
dIl
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Hewi
pedmytear
sandki
ssedme.Hescooped
meupwedr
ovetofet
chThandoatherschool
.
Thando:
"Heysi
s"Shesai
dget
ti
ngi
n
Me:
"Hal
obaby
"
Mzwakhe:
"Hel
l
otoy
out
ooThando"
Thandor
oll
edherey
esshedoesn'
tli
ke
Mzwakhenow"Whatwi
ththeatt
it
ude!"
Il
ookedatThandoandshookmyhead
Thando:
"Hi
Mzwakhe"
Mzwakhe:
"I
'm notbut
inow"
Thando:
"Ar
eyoumybr
otherper
haps?
"
Me:
"Thandopl
easedon'
tst
art
!"
Thando:
"Hei
susi
ngy
ousi
shedoesn'
tl
ove
you!
"
Mzwakhe:
"Youungr
atef
ull
i
ttl
ebi
tchI
..
."
Me:
"Apol
ogi
seThando!
"
Thando:
"Sor
rybut
i"shesai
dsar
cast
ic
Mzwakhe:
"Idon'
tfeel
li
kehav
ingani
cecr
eam
any
more!"
Wedr ov
ebacktotheapar
tmentandf oundt
he
dooropen.Wegotinandsawluggagesjust
thenPearl
appear
ed
Pear
l:
"Ohy
ouguy
sar
eback"
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngon"
Pear
l:
"I
'
m mov
ingi
n"
Me:
"What
?"
Pear
l:
"Isai
dI'
m mov
ingi
n"
Thando:"
GodI '
mf r
eakingt
ir
edoft hisnow.
PearlKatandMzwakhear edating.Theyhave
beentogetherforyear
sheisjustkeepingyou
becauseyouf oundhim aj
ob!"
Mzwakhecl
enchedhi
sjawl
ooki
ngatThando
wi
thcol
dlook.Pear
llaughed
Pear
l:
"Youar
ejoki
ngr
ight
"
Thando:
"I
t'
str
uewear
enothi
ssi
ster
s!"
Pear
lst
aredatMzwakhe
Pear
l:
"I
sitt
rue?
"shesai
dwi
thashakyv
oice
Mzwakhe:
"YesI
'
m sor
rybutIl
ovey
ouPear
lI
r
eal
lydo"
Me:
"Noy
oul
ovemeMzwakhe"
Pear
l:
"Youpl
ayedmeMzwakhe!
"tear
sfal
lon
herf
ace
Mzwakhe:
"Il
oveyoubabynotherIwasfeel
ing
sor
ryf
orhercozshegotnowheretostay"
myhear tbrokeev
enmor etearscl
oudedmy
sight"
Iloveyoubabyonlyyou"Hecuppedher
faceandkissedherfor
ehead
Me:"Noyoul
ovemeMzwakhe."Iwentt
ohi
m
"Lookatmei
t'
sKatbabyy
oulovemenother"I
cri
ed
Pear
l:
"Whyshoul
dIbel
i
evey
ouMzwakhe"
Mzwakhe:
"Becausei
tst
rue"
Me:"
Noit'
snottruedon'
tdot
hisMzwakhe
pl
ease"Iwentdownonmykneesandheldhi
s
l
eg.
Pear
l:
"Wel
lIneedt
hem gone"
Me:
"Wher
ear
ewegoi
ngt
ogo?
"
Pear
l:
"Idon'
tcar
e"
Me:"
Magebapl
easedon'
tdot
his"Hecoul
dn'
t
ev
enlookatme"Pl
easel
ookatmeMageba
pl
ease"
Mzwakhe:
"Theygotnowher
etost
aybaby
"
Pear
l:
"Youwantmeort
hem choose!
"
Thando:
"Let
'sleav
esi
shedoesn'
tdeser
vey
our
tear
s"Shehelpedmeup
Pear
l:
"Leav
eever
ythi
ngy
ouboughtwi
thmy
baby
'smoney"
Il
ookedatMzwakhef
ort
heonel
astt
imet
hen
wemadeourwayout.Al
lthewayIwascryi
ngI
di
dn'
tknowwhereweweregoing.Wekept
goi
ngunti
lwer
etir
edandsatdownbythetr
ee.
Thando:"Don'
tcr
ysisit
sgoingt
obeokay "she
comf or
tedmewhenIwascal meddownwe
walkedtothegarage.i
twasget
tingdar
know
Me:
"Iwi
l
lmakeaplanpl
easebarewit
hmej
ust
f
ort
odaywewil
lsl
eepinthet
oil
et"
Thando:"I
t'
sokaysisi
tsagoodthi
ngwear e
fi
nishedwithexamsIdon'
thavetoworr
yabout
school"Icheckedt
hecostthenwewenttothe
toi
letandsatdown.Shetookoutakot
aoutof
herschool bag
Me:
"I
tsokayeatI
'
m nothungr
y"
Thando:
"Comeonsi
s"shef
edmeIchuckl
ed
andate.
Imadeherl
ayherheadonmylapandtoldher
oneofmyoldst
ori
esunti
lshedozedof
f.
Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
eveMzwakhehur
tmel
i
ket
his
af
terev
ery
thi
ngwehav
ebeent
hrought
oget
her
.
It
houghthel
ovemehowcouldhe?Wor
seI
di
dn'
tgotoworkt
odayIwonderi
fmyboss
won'
tfi
reme.
Me:"
Lordpleasei
nter
venenowI'
mti
redoft
his
l
if
emi ghtaswell
takeusthi
sist
oomuch"
.
.
Li
kecommentshar
epl
ease
[
05/
31,
20:
03]W:
19
SQALESI
HLE
•
Howcant heydot histomet hi
sisjusttoo
muchIcan' tli
vewithoutthem asmuchasI
can'
tli
vewi thoutVincentthi
sispainful
.He
drov
eal lt
hewayf r
om Dur banlastni
ghtbutI
coul
dn'tseehi m.
Iswi
cthedof
fmyphoneIdon'
tknowhowt
o
deal
wi t
hthi
ssi
tuat
ionandI
'
m sur
ehef
li
ppl
i
ng
worr
ied.
HowcanIchoosebetweenmostt r
easur
abl
e
peopl
einmyli
fe.Iknewtheywil
lbeangr
ybut
di
sowningmeisonanotherlev
el.
Iwasn'
ti
namoodt of aceever
yone'
s
j
udgmental
looksorwor dssoIst
ayedi
nmy
bed.I
twasacoldSaturday.
MydoorswungopenIknewwhothatwascoz
shei
stheonl
ypersonwhonev
erknocks.
Kuhl
e:"
Twi
nni
e"
Me:
"Hey"Shecametosi
tnextt
omebr
ushi
ng
t
hatbl
ackcatofher
s
Kuhl
e:"
Youl
ooksogr
oggyt
hismustbedr
aini
ng
you"
Me:"I
tsthemostdi f
fi
cultt
hingIhaveeverbeen
Twinni
eIcan'tlivewithoutya'
llandIal
socan't
l
ivewithoutVincent.Whyar etheymakingmet o
chooseitstoohar d"
Kuhle:
"Youhavetounder
standthati
t'
snothar
d
toacceptthaty
ourchi
ldi
si nl
ovewith
someoneol dasyou."
Me:"
Sincewhenl ovehaveager est
ri
cti
onsthi
s
i
sjustunfai
r.Every
oneist r
eati
ngmel i
keI
murderedsomeonekantIj ustfal
li
nlovewitha
maturedmanwhoknowwhathewantandwho
i
swill
ingtotreatmelikethepri
ncess"Tear
sf al
l
onmyf ace
Kuhl
e:"
OhTwinni
eI'
m sor
rygi
vei
tti
met
heywi
l
l
comearound"
Me:
"I
fIhav
etochooseIr
atherdi
eTwi
nni
e"
Kuhl
e:"
Haydon'
ttal
kli
ket
hatj
ustgi
vei
tti
me"
Me:"
Inthemeanti
mewhatdoIdo?Vi ncenti
s
worr
iednowIhaven'
ttalkedtohi
m si
ncehe
sai
dhei scomi
ngaft
erhehear dmecryi
ngI
don'
tknowwhattodot hisi
tstoomuch"Il
et
outaloudsobshepul
ledmei nherar
msand
embracedme
Kuhle:
"I
'mr eal
lysorryTwinni
eIwil
ltalkt
ot hem
stopstressi
ngpl easei
tsnotgoodforthebaby "
ShesobbedIt oldy ousheisacrybaby.WhenI
cryshecr y,whenmom cr yshecryshecr yall
theway ."I
tsgoingtobeokayIpromi seyou"
Shepulledbackandwi pedmytears"Yougoing
tobefine"
Me:"
ThankyousomuchI
tsgoodt
oknowy
ou
ar
esupport
ingme"
Kuhl
e:"
YouandIareoneTwinnie"shepi
nched
mycheekli
ght
ly.Iwi
pedhertearswitht
heback
ofmypalms.
Me:
"Yousuchacr
ybaby
"
Kuhl
e:"
Yaphapha"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Youneedtohaveababynowsothaty
ou
wi
ll
takecareofhi
m nott
hisbl
ackcat
"
Shel
aughed
Kuhle:"
EvenifIcanhaveababyMinkyi
smy
fi
rstborn"shesaidbr
ushi
ngthecat'
sback.
Me:"GodTwinnieoutofal
lcat
sintheworl
dyou
choseblackuyathakat
hawena"shecackl
ed
thr
owingherheadback
Kuhle:
"Bl
ackisbeaut
if
ulsi
slookatherey
es
theyaresoshiny
"
Me:"NooffenceIwi
llnev
erf i
ndanyt
hing
beauti
ful
wi t
hablackcat.WhenIlookatitkut
hi
angi
thhambamoy amubi!"Shel
aughed
Kuhl
e:"
Youarecrazy
..
.let
'sgodownt
heyar
e
havi
ngabreakf
ast"
Me:
"ThatBongekabi
tchi
sst
il
lher
e"
Kuhl
e:"
Eyeypleasedon'
tmenti
onthatnameI
wil
lvomiti
nyourmouth"Il
aughed
Me:
"Euww"
Kuhl
e:"
Getupnowwegot
taf
eedmunchi
e"
Me:"Bri
ngmyadi
daswar
mtr
acksui
t,socksand
sneakers"
Kuhl
e:"
Got
oAunt
ySi
hleMi
nky
"Ir
oll
edmyey
es
thewayshetookcareofthecaty
ou'dswearit
s
ahumanbeing.AykabinehmaraIdon'
tli
ke
animal
sespeci
all
ycatsanddogsI'
dprefera
rabbi
t.
ShegavemeMi
nkyanddi
sappear
edt
omy
cl
oset
.
Fewmi nutesl
atershecamebackwithmy
tr
acksuitandsneaker
swhichexact
lythesame
shewaswear ing.Weli
ketowearsameout f
it
s
moreof t
en.
Kuhl
e:"
Here"shet
hrewt
het
racksui
tont
hebed
andsneaker
s.
Me:"
Thanky
ou"Igav
ehert
hecatandsl
i
dout
ofbed.
Kuhl
e:"
Shoul
dIhel
pyou"
Me:"
Arey
ousayi
ngI
'
mthathuget
hatIcan'
t
dr
essmysel
f"
Kuhle:
"Whenlastdi
dyoulooky
oursel
fint
he
mirr
oryoulookli
keahippoTwinni
e"
Ifel
tsti
ngi
ngt
ear
sinmyey
eswi
thi
nabl
i
nk
theyfal
l
"
OhmyI
'
m sor
rysi
syoul
ookt
hin"
Me:
"Getoutofmybedr
oom!
"
Kuhl
e:"
Aski
esokayI
'mreal
lysor
ryIdi
dn'
tmean
toof
fendyou"Shegotupandatt
empttohug
me
Me:
"Isai
dgo!
"
Kuhl
e:"
Sihl
eI'
m sor
rymt
akaMapl
easef
orgi
ve
me."
Isai
dnot
hingandgotdr
essed
Me:"Helpmewithsocksandsneaker
s"she
smil
edandputdownt hecat
.Isatdownonthe
bedthenshesquat
tedbefor
emeandputon
thesneaker
sinmyfeet
Me:"
Thankyou"Shegotupthenshehel
pedme
up.Wewentdownstai
rshandinhand.
Ev
ery
onewasal
readygat
her
edar
oundt
het
abl
e
asSisfl
oradi
shupf
orev
ery
one.Si
sFl
orai
sour
hel
per.
"
Goodmor
ning"
Theyal
lsai
dmor
ningexceptmom.
Gogo:
"Comesi
tnextt
omebaby
"Daddyey
ed
her
Iwenttosi
tnextt
oher
.Anel
i
sal
ookedatme
andli
ft
edupherhandf
ormetot
akeher.
Aneli
sa:
"Thathe"shei
sBuhl
ebenkosi
'
s2year
ol
ddaught er
.Sheissocut
eandchubby.Buhl
e
gavemeher .
Me:
"Hel
l
onunuza"
Anel
i
sa:
"Hey
o"
Me:"
KabuzamaAnt
iza"shepout
edhert
inyl
i
ps
Iki
ssedthem
Anel
i
sa:
"Mmmbay
ant
iza"
Mom:
"Mj
gracet
hef
oodpl
ease"
Mj
:
"Let
'scl
oseourey
espl
ease"Wecl
osed
t
hem Mj
sai
dthegr
acet
henwest
art
edeat
ing.
Dad:
"Si
ncey
ouareheret
hatmeansy
ouchose
t
obreakupwit
hthatman"
Me:
"Wher
edoy
ouexpectmegoFat
her
"
Dad:
"Toy
oursugarDaddy
"
Aunt
ySwe:
"Ineedt
oseet
hisman"
Buhl
e:"
Hei
sapant
ydr
opperMamkhul
u!"
Ev
ery
onel
ookedathershescr
atchedherneck
"
Imeanhei
sagoodl
ooki
ngman"
Imanaget
ogi
ggl
e
AuntySwe:"Maybeifwecantalktohim and
foundoutwhatarehisint
ent
ions"Ilov
eAunt y
Swecozshei salwaysunder
standingit
sapity
allherchi
l
drenareboys.
Mom:
"Skoni
sami i
ntent
ionsornoi
ntent
ions
t
hemanisold!Toowayold!"
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Youhaveyoursel
ftoblameif
youwer
eagoodpar entsheshoul
dn'thave
t
hrownher
sel
fatol
derman"OhGod
Mom:"At
leastIdi
dn'
tteacht
hem t
oki
l
linnocent
soul
s"
Ther
ewasanawkwardsil
enceweallgazedat
Li
yabonga(
Aunt
yLusanda'
sdaught
er)who
l
ookeddown
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Whatdi
dyousayZesul
i
we"
Mom:
"Ohy
ouhear
dmeLusanda"
Gogo:
"Canwehav
ebr
eakf
astwi
thoutdr
ama
pl
ease"
Li
ya:
"Excuseme"shest
oodup
Aunt
yLusanda:"
Sitdownyougotal
ott
o
expl
aint
omey ounglady
!"
Liy
a:"
Idon'
toweyouanyexpl
ainat
ionmother
thi
sismybody!
"wit
hthatsai
dshest ompedout
Mom:"Andt
henshesayI'
m abadparentmy
chi
l
drenwil
lnev
erspeakt
omel i
kethat"
Aunt
yLusandaandMom don'
tgetal
ongt
hey
ar
eal
way
sateachot
her
sthr
oat
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Mychi
l
ddoesntsl
eepwi
thol
d
man!
"
Me:"
AuntyLusandastopitpl
easeyoudon't
wantmet or
emi ndyouthatLi
ya'
sfatheri
s15
year
soldert
hany ousoyouarethelasttoj
udge
"
AuntyLuyanda:
"Whereishenow?Iuset o
repri
mandherabouthim.Thatshouldtel
lyou
alot.Lear
nfrom ot
herpeopl
e'
smistakemy
chil
d"
Me:
"Vi
ncenti
snotLiya'
sfat
herMamkhul
uhe
l
ovemeandI'm al
lhewantinhi
sli
fe"
Dad:
"Thatbul
l
shi
t!
..
."
Mom:"
Ther
ear
echi
l
dreni
nthet
abl
eDaddy
Ki
ng"
Dad:
"I
'm sor
ryMommyQueen.List
enher
e
Sqal
esihl
eifyoucont
inuewi
tht
hatmanthen
youaredeadinthi
sfamil
y.
"
Kuhl
e:"
That
'sunf
airDaddyI
..
."
Dad:
"I
m nott
alki
ngt
oyouSqal
okuhl
eshutup!
"
Tear
swel
l
edupi
nmyey
es
Me:"Youguy sar eunf airyouwantmychi l
dto
growupwi thouthi sf atherwhi l
ey a'llgrewupi n
aloving, happyf ami lywi thtwopar ents.Aunty
LusandaIdon' twantt otalkabouty oucozy ou
andIar et hesamet hedi fferencei sthatVincent
l
ov emeandhewon' tleav eme.WenaGogo
Granpai s8y ear soldert heny oubuther eyou
aretodayst il
llovingeachot herliket eenagers
andy ouknowv erywel lhowhar di tistogrow
upwi thoutbot hpar entst hatwhyy oumade
surethaty ourchi l
drengr owupi nal ovinghome
withbot hpar ent s.WenaMay ouknowhow
fort
unat ey ouwer et obeadopt edbyal ovi
ng
couple.Theygav ey oul if
enotev enoncehav e
younot icedt hatt heyar enoty ourpar ents
becauset heyt reatedy oul iketheirown.They
gavey oul ifethatIwantf ormychi ldwhyar e
youal ldeny i
ngmeachancet ogivemychi l
d
thelif
eIhad"Iwi pedmyt earsv i
gorouslyKuhl e
wasaweepi ngmessbyt hatti
me" Igrewupi na
l
ov i
ngwar m homewi thtwopar ents.Inev erhad
tosay" Im goingt odad'stoday"or" I
'mv i
si t
ing
mymom t oday "whymybaby ,myf ir
stbabyhad
togot hrought hat ?Forwhatexact ly?age?i s
thatallyoucompl aini
ngaboutage?Y' all
deny i
ngmybabyachancet ohav el i
fethaty ou
allgavey ourchi ldrenit'
ssounf ai
r"Isniffedand
wipedmyt earsonceagai n"I
t'
sokayi fthat
whaty ouwantt heni sokaycozIcan' tli
ve
withouty ouguy sIguessIwi llt
akeal lthe
blamewhenmychi l
daskmeoneday
why .
..
ouhh"Ihel dmyst omacht herewaspai ni
n
myabdomen
Kuhl
e:"
Twi
nni
ewhat
..
."
Me:"Ooouuhh"Iscreamedinagonyeveryone
panickedIdon'tknowwhendidmom anddad
gotupont heirseatscoznowtheywere
standingnexttome
Mom:"Babywhat
'
swr
ong"shebr
ushedmy
f
orehead
Me:
"I
t'
stooear
lyMaIcan'
t.
.Ahhh"
Dad:
"I
namandl
adri
veoutthecarfr
om the
gar
agewearetaki
nghert
ot hehospi
tal
"
I
na:
"Whi
chcar
"
Dad:"
Dammi tI
namandl
ast
opaski
ng
nonsense!
!"
I
nadi
sappear
ed
Mkhul
u:"
Breat
hmzukul
ujustbr
eat
hyougoi
ng
t
obefine"
I
na:
"Wecangonow"
Daddyscoopedmeupandr
ushedoutwi
thme.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
"
DidIsaysomet
hingt
hatupsety
ou"
Me:
"Nowhy
"Iwi
pedmymout
handdr
ankj
uice
Thul
a:"
Yousuddenl
ywentqui
te"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowIj
ustf
eel
down"
Idon'
tknowwhymymoodsuddenl ydroppedI
guesshormonesormaybeit
stheconvoIhad
wit
hMamaIsawherhowbr okenshewasI
haveneverseenherl
i
kethat
.
Mom al wayskeptast
rongfaceyouwould
nevertell
whensheisbrokenbuttodayshe
couldn'
thidei
t.
Iwisht
heycoul
dfi
xthi
ngsandbehappyagai
n
theyar
esogoodtoget
her
.
Thul
a:"
Youwantust
ogo"
Me:
"I
'm st
il
leat
ingsi
r"
Hechuckl
ed
Thul
a:"
Ilov
eapr
egnantwoman'
sappet
it
e"
Me:
"Ar
eyousay
ingIeatal
ot?
"If
rowned
Thul
a:"
Ha.
a"
Me:
"Whatar
eyousay
ingMrSi
bisi
"
Thul
a:"
Youar
esobeaut
if
uly
az"
Me:
"Changi
ngthesubj
ectIsee"Isai
dlaughi
ng
hej
oinedme"Tel
lmewhatdoy ouwantfrom
meThula"
Thula:
"Yourl
oveKuhlekonkebeli
evemeItri
ed
tosuppressmyfeeli
ngsf ory
oubutever
yday
theyareexpandi
ng.Il
ovey ouandIwantyouto
giveusachancethatallIwant"
Me: "
IhavebeenhurtandbrokenThulahowwil
l
Iknowy ouarenotpl
ayingme.WhatifIwake
uponedayy oudontwantmenomor eorworse
tur
nintothi
sanimalIhaveneverseen"
Af
terZol
ani
Itr
ustnomanIhadt
obecar
eful
Her
eachedmyhandsandki
ssedt
hem
Thula:
"I
'm notper
fectbabybutIpr
omi seto
tr
eatyout hewayyoudeservetobetreated.I
'
m
seri
ousabouty ouandIhaveneverbeen
seri
ouslikeIam ri
ghtnow"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowmanI 'm pr
egnantwhywoul
d
youwanttoinv
olveyour
selfwit
hapersont
hat
i
scarry
inganotherman'
schild"
Thula:
"BecauseIl
oveyoubabyyouareal
lI
want.Eversincey
ouwalkedinmyli
feIhave
neverbeenhappy.Gi
vemeachancet oprov
e
myselftoyou"
Me:
"I
mfi
nishedwecango"
WhatifIi
nvestal
lmyl
ovetohi
m andheturns
outt
obeadoucheorwhatifheist
heonef or
me?Godt hi
sissohar
d.DamnyouZolani
for
dest
royi
ngme.
Heset
tledt
hebil
landhel
pedmeupthenwe
wentt
ohiscarwhereheopenedt
hedoorf
or
me.
Igoti
ncaref
ull
ythenhecl
oset
hedoorand
wenttohi
sside.Hegoti
nandbuckl
edupasI
di
dso.
Hest
art
edt
hecaranddr
oveof
f.
Thul
a:"
Youwantt
ogohomeal
readyorwe
coul
dgotomyhouse"
Me:
"I
nyourhousehaahwhatdoy
ouwantt
odo
t
ome"
Hegi
ggl
ed
Thul
a:"
Not
hingwewi
l
lchi
l
landbond"
Me:"Liaruf
unaukungsendebul
awena"He
cackled
Thula:"
That'
swouldn'tbeabadideadon'tyou
thi
nk"Her eachedformythighsandli
ft
edup
thedressslidi
nghishandbetweenthethighs
unti
ltheyreachmynunIdi dn'
tworeanypanties.
Hegr oanedpoppinghiseyesout
Me:
"Nextt
imekeepy
ourhandst
oyour
sel
f"
Thul
a:"
Uhm.
.y
e..y
esma'
am"
Me:
"TakemehomeI
m notagoodcompany
t
oday"
Thul
a:"
Okaysweet
hear
t"
Thet
ri
pwasf
il
ledwi
thsi
l
lyj
okesandl
aught
er.
Wearri
vedathomeheopenedt
hedoorf
ormeI
st
eppedoutthencl
osei
t.
"
Iwi
l
lcal
lyouokay
"
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orbr
eakf
ast
"
Thul
a:"
Youar
ewel
comebabe"
Wesharedahugitwassowarm If
eltsosafe
andl
ovedbutIoncefel
tli
ket
hati
nZolani
's
armsr
ight
Webr
oket
hehugandl
ookedateachot
her
.
Iswall
owedspitashebr oughtclosehi sfacet
o
minemyhear tbeatracingourlipst ouchedmy
eyesclosedautomaticall
yasweki ssedso
sl
owlyanddeepl y
.itfeltamazingIdon' twantto
l
ie"Iloveyou"
InoddedIwasst i
ll
dizzyf
rom theki
ss.We
huggedagainthenIwentinsi
dethegate.He
droveof
fafterseei
ngmeent eri
ngthehouse.I
pausedforasecondandsmi ledtomy sel
fli
ke
ani
dioty
eaht
hatwhathedoest
ome.
Me:
"Damnboy
!"
I
tlookedl
i
keIwasal
onecozi
twassoqui
et.
Isear chedthem everywher eandf inall
ywentt o
theirbedroom.ThedoorwasopensoIknocked
onceand. ..myheartstoppedbeat i
ngIr ushedt o
mypar entswhower elay inginthepool ofbl ood
helplessly
."Nononot hisisadr eam "Icl osed
myey esandopenedt hem agai n"Mamawake
uppl ease"Icri
edshaki ngherbutshedi dn't
respond" Babav ukangi yakcel
awakeup"He
didn'twakeupt ooIdial edtheambul ance.
"Hangi nthereparentshel pisoni tsitway
pleasedon' tdi
eonmeI '
m beggingy ouguy s"
Whatf el
tli
keforevertheyar ri
ved
"
Whatt
ooky
ousol
ong!
"Ishout
edatt
hem
Theyatt
endedmypar
ent
sandshookt
hei
r
heads.
Me:
"What
?"
"
I'
m sor
rymi
ss"
Me:
"Nowhatdoy
oumean"
"
Theyar
enol
ongerwi
thusnow"
Me:"
Whatnooyouar
ely
ing!
"Iwentt
othem but
somegent
lemanpul
l
edmeaway
"
I'
m sosor
ry"
Me:"
Not heyarenotdeadMa,Dadyoucan'
tdie
onme"Iscr eamedinangui
shholdi
ngmychest
Iwasrunningoutofairt
obr
eaththenextt
hing
ever
ythi
ngwasdar k
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Me:
"I
'm beggi
ngy
ousi
rIwassi
ck"
Boss:"
NoIcan'taccepty
oubackunt
ily
ougi
ve
met hedoct
orsnote"
Me:
"Iwasl
yi
ngi
nbedt
hewhol
eday"
Boss:
"I
'm sor
ryt
hati
snotenoughpl
easel
eav
e
MissMhlongo"
Me:
"Whataboutmysal
ary
"
Boss:
"Ther
e'snosal
aryf
ory
ou!
"
Me:
"ButIworkedf
ort
woweeksher
eboss
t
hat
'sunfai
r"
Boss:"
Go!Go!
"hepushedmeoutIwentout
feel
i
ngdefeat
ed
Thando:
"Whatdi
dhesay
"
Me:"
Theyf
ir
edmeandt
heydi
dn'
tgi
vememy
pay"
Thando:"
OhGodt
hat
'sbadwhatar
ewegoi
ng
todosis"
Me:
"Let
'
swal
kshoptoshopandl
ookf
orj
obs
may
bewewil
lbelucky
"
Thando:
"Okay
"
Wespentthewholedayl
ooki
ngforj
obsbutwe
wer
en'
tlucky."
I'
mtir
edandhungr
ynow"
Me:"
I'
m sor
ryThandoitsl
ookl
i
ketodaywe
goi
ngbacktothattoi
l
etandwewon'teat
"
Thando:"
Wecan'tgobacktot
hatt
oil
etl
ookat
youy ouar
esickyouneedapr
operpl
aceto
sleepandgoodfood"
Me:
"Wher
ewill
wegetithuh!Noonewantto
empl
oyusyoushoul
dhaveshutyourpaphol
e
wewoul
dn'
tbehere!
"
Thando:
"Hewasusi
ngyousi
sIcoul
dn'
twat
ch
hi
m hurtyouany
more"
Me:"
Kusi
sazi
nikewearer
oamingintownwith
nofoodandnoplacet
ost
ay!I
tsgett
ingdar
k
now"
Thando:
"Iwasl
ooki
ngoutf
ory
ou!"
Me:
"Don'
tshoutatme!Atleasti
fyougaveme
t
imetoworkonsomethingfir
sthai
suka!
!"
Thando:
"Fucky
ouke!
"
Isl
appedherhar
donhercheek
Me:
"Ngi
zokukhahl
elamasudakwanx!
"
Sheheldhercheekt
ear
sfal
l
ingdownonher
face.
Isatdownonthebenchwewereatthebus
rankItwasget
ti
ngemptyandemptyeach
passi
ngsecond
Whyli
fehav
et obethi
shardmar
awhycan'
twe
hav
eabigbreakforonce. Ist
art
edsi
ngi
ng
SaveMySoul.
♪ ♪ ♪ Li
fesounf
air
,sounf
eel
i
ng,
all
despai
r
Lov
eso,
sodear
,ev
erl
ast
ing,
alway
sther
e
Av
oicei
nthewi
l
der
nessi
scr
yingout
Cany
ouhear
?
Theey
est
odecei
vewhaty
ouseei
snot
whaty
ouget
I
snotwhaty
ouget
Ohl
ove,
ohl
ove,
pleasesav
emysoul
(
rescueme)
Remov
eal
lthepai
nsandsor
row(
Lor
d,
sav
eme,
Lor
dsav
eme)
I
t'
smor
ethanIcant
ake
Sunshi
ne,
arayofhopet
hatr
iseandhi
de
myshadowsandmakemehappyagai
n…
agai
n
Dr
eamsf
adeawayi
ntot
hemount
ains,
i
ntot
hesea
Ther
ain,
it'
sok,
it'
sst
il
lfal
l
ing,
Iwi
shy
ou
coul
dsee
Adr
um,
it'
sthebeat
,oft
hehear
twi
l
lnot
st
op
Oht
ear
sfor
m ast
ream,
for
m ar
iver
Dr
opsofl
ove,
ohdr
opsofl
ove♪ ♪ ♪
Shej
oinedmewesangt
oget
herpeopl
est
art
ed
watchi
ngussi
ngi
ngandt
hrewmoneyi
nfr
ont
ofus.
Wefini
shedandpeoplecl
appedthei
rhandsand
wenttothei
rbusesaf
tert
hat.Wetookthe
moneyandcountedit
Thando:
"Howmuchdowehav
e"
Me:"R200"It
swasmuchcozwewer
en'
tev
en
expecti
ngitwewer
ejustsi
ngi
ng
Thando:"
Wowt
hat
'
sawesome"Wehugged
eachother
Me:"
Atl
eastwewi l
lhavef
ood.I
'
m sor
ryt
hatwe
goi
ngbacktothatt
oil
etagai
nbutI
fwecan
comehereear
lytomorr
ow wewill
makemore
money"
Thando:
"YeahI
'
m sor
ryf
ori
nsul
ti
ngy
ou"
Me:"I
'
m sor
ryf
orsl
appi
ngy
ou"Iki
ssedherr
ed
cheek
"
Por
toorPeper
ico"
Shel
ookedatmeandbeamed
Thando:
"Por
to!
"
Me:
"Por
toi
sit
"
Thando:
"Il
ovey
ousl
ayQueen
Me:"
Lov eyoutoosl
ayBabe"Ipokehernose
shegiggled"
Donkeyri
de"
Thando:
"Hay
iyousi
ckmos"
Me:"Youactl
i
keyoudon'
tenj
oyi
t"shegi
ggl
ed
andhookedherar
m ar
oundmywaistt
henwe
headedtoPort
o
.
.
Li
ke,
Comment,
Shar
ePr
ett
yPl
ease
[
05/
31,
20:
03]W:
20
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Thef
oll
owi
ngdayIwaswokenupt
heur
get
o
t
hrowupIgentlyr
emovedThando'
sheadonmy
l
apandcrawledtothet
oil
etwher
eIthr
ewup
l
astni
ghtfood.
Myst omachdidn'
tdigestsi
nceIcoul
dn'
tsl
eep
properl
ythespaceisnotenoughforbot
hofusI
situpstr
aightandl
etherlayherbodydownon
thefl
oorandherheadonmyl ap.
"
Arey
ouokay
"sheaskedwi
thagr
oggyv
oice
Me:
"Yeah"Ist
oodupandwentt
orinsemy
mouthinthet
apandmyfaceaf
terfl
ushi
ng.
Thando:
"Youl
ookdr
ained"
Me:
"Youhav
enoIdeamywhol
ebodyi
sachi
ngI
f
eeldr
owsyandt
ir
ed"
Thando:
"Restal
i
ttl
ebi
t"
Me:"
Wecan'tri
skthatwhati
fsomeonef
indus
her
elet
'sgetgoi
ng"
Thando:
"Just30mi
nsi
s"
Me:
"Okay
"
Shemadeaspaceformetol
aydownand
rest
edmyheadonherlap
Thando:"
Ipromisetodayyougoingt
osl
eepon
acomf or
tablebedokay"Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Okay
"
Thando:
"Youhav
etogot
othedoct
or"
Me:
"NgoThenj
i
wey
ini
"(wi
thwhatmoney
)
Thando:
"Thatwewi
l
lmaket
oday
"
Me:"Youdoknowhowmuchdoesdoct
ors
consult
ati
oncost"
Thando:
"Uhm R200"Il
aughed
Me:
"R400"
Thando:
"Yhohhabayanya"Igi
ggl
ed"
Wer
ather
gotoapubli
chospit
al"
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngt
obef
inedon'
twor
ryaboutme"
Thando:
"Don'
tdi
eonmepl
ease"
Me:
"Iwon'
tI'
m ani
ronbaby
"shegi
ggl
ed"
We
shoul
dgonowI '
m sopray
ingt
hatwear
enot
comingbackher
etoday"
Thando:"
Wewon' t"Igotupfrom herall
owing
hertodothesamesot hatshewillr
inseher
mouthandf ace.Whenshewasdoneshet ook
herschoolbagthenwel eftt
othespotwher e
ever
yonecanseeus.
Atfi
rstpeopleweren'
ti
nter
est
edtheypassed
usli
kewear eantsunti
lwesangmyacapella
songsthatwhentheystart
edfl
oodi
ngingivi
ng
al
lthei
rattenti
ont
ousandt hr
owingthei
r
money .
Themoneyt hatt
heywer
egiv
inguswasjusta
bonusIwashappythatmyownmusicwas
bei
ngli
stenedbypeopl
eandtheywer
eenjoyi
ng
i
t.
Wechangeddi ff
erentspot
sIdeci
dedt
ocall
ita
dayaftert
hethir
dspotwhichwasbythet
axi
ranknexttoboxer.
Me:
"Thanky
ouev
ery
onef
orl
i
steni
ngt
ous"
Woman:
"Wewantt
obuyy
ourCDs"
Me:"
Unfort
unat
elywedon'
thav
ethem t
hesear
e
j
ustoursongswecreat
ed"
Woman:"
Wowy
ouar
ever
ytal
ent
edy
oung
l
adi
es"
Me:
"Thanky
ouMa"
Girl
:
"Ihopeonedaywewill
heary
oursongsi
n
radi
ojustknowthatIwi
l
lbethef
ir
stonetobuy
yourCDs"
Me:
"Thanksgi
rl
"
Wet ookourmoneyandl efttosparwherewe
boughttoi
let
ri
esandgroceriesaft
erthatwe
wenttoKFC.Thesightofthemeatmademe
nauseas.
Thando:
"Eatal
oneIwi
l
lhav
ekr
ushonl
y"
Thando:"Ukunci
phakwamasotshaukwanda
kwezikhali
"(moreforme)shesaidwit
hfoodi
n
hermout h
Me:"Si
eseatl
ikealadyhawu"sheswal
lowed
andgiggl
ed.Myli
tt
lesisl
ovefoodbutshe
nevergai
nweight
.
Thando:
"Sowher
etof
rom her
e"
Me:
"Lokshi
ntoMzwakhe'
sshack"
Thando:
"Ihopei
t'
sst
il
li
nonepeace"
Me:
"Met
oohey
"
Shefi
nishedeat
ingwethenl
efttot
herankt
joI
wassot i
redIsl
eptont
hetaxiIwaswokenup
byThando
Thando:
"Si
swear
eher
e"Iopenedmyey esand
wipedmymoutht
hent
ookthecarr
ierbags.
West eppedoutandwal
kedtoMzwakhe'
s
shackIletoutasi
ghofr
eli
efwhensoitwas
sti
l
linonepeace.
Wel ockedwhenwel ef
tandMzw. .I
remember edt
hatweuset okeepthespare
underthematont hestoop.It
ookitand
unlockedever
ythi
ngwasj ustthewaywelefti
t
"
Backt
oourr
agsneh"
Me:"Yeah"Wepackedthegroceri
esinthe
cupboard."
Canyoupleaseboilwaterf
ormeI
wanttobathandsleep"Isai
dthrowingmysel
f
onthebed
Thando:
"Okay
"
Sheprepar
edabat hformeofwhi chIt
ookand
fel
tfr
eshaftert
hat.Ichangedi
ntomytornol
d
PJsandjumpedi nt
obed
"
PJsatt
hist
ime"
Me:
"I
ts4pm alr
eadyThando"Isai
dlooki
ngat
t
hesmallwatchonthecupboard
Thando:"
Iwantt
ovisi
tmyfr
iendforf
ew
minuteswhenIf
ini
shedbat
hing"
Me:
"Youwant
?"
Thando:
"CanIgopl
ease"
Me:
"Don'
tcomebackl
ate"
Thando:
"Thanky
ou"
Thatal
lIrememberaf
tert
hatIf
all
int
oadeep
peacef
ulslumber
.
Iwaswokenupbysomeoneshooki
ngme
roughl
y
Me:
"Mh!
"
"Wakeupsis"Ir
ubbedmyey esbef
oreopeni
ng
them "
Youaresti
ll
sleepi
ngorarey
oudead
now."
Me:
"GeezThandot
hatwhatar
eyouwaki
ngme
upf
or?"
Thando:
"Noi
ts8o'
clocknowandIcooked
wakeupsothatwecaneat"
Me:
"Youcooked?
"
Shenoddedsmi
l
ing
"
Wowngi
khul
i
sil
emosIhopei
tst
ast
egood"
Thando:
"Ihopesot
oo.
..howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng"
Me:"
Bet
teract
ual
l
y"Isatupwi
thmybut
tshe
gav
emeabasi nt
owashmyhandsandadish
cl
othtodrymyhands."Thankyou"Isai
daft
er
shegavememyf ood,spaghet
tiandmince
meatwithagl
assofjuice.
Shesatnextt
omet henwestart
edeat
ing
"Mmmhy ummy "I
tstast
ereal
l
ygoodforafi
rst
ti
mecook
Thando:
"Real
l
y"
Me:
"Yesy
ayshay
amosl
ent
o"
Thando:
"Thanky
ou"shesmi
l
ed
Me:
"Howi
sPhi
ndi
l
e"
Thando:
"That'
sbi
tch!Cany
oubel
i
evei
tshei
s
seei
ngKhulekani
"
Me:
"Outofal
lboy
sshechoset
hatpl
ayer
"
Thando:"Meandheraredonesishowcoul
dshe?
Ithoughtshei
smyf r
iendbutsheisj
usta
snake!"
Me:
"Woahwhyt
oomuchangernow"
Thando:
"Fr
iendsdon'
tdat
eeachot
her
scr
us.
."
Me:
"Huh?
"
Thando:
"Uhm not
hing"
Me:"
Iknowy
oudi dn'
thaveadol
lwhenyou
gr
owupbutpleasedon'tmakemeone"
Shesai
dnot
hingcont
inueeat
ing
"
Thandokuhl
eMhl
ongo!
"
Thando:
"Si
s"
Me:
"Tal
k"
Thando"
It
snotabi
gdeal
sisKat
"
Me:"Notabigdealwheny ouarefumingli
kethi
s
obvi
ouslythatboymeanssomucht oyou.
Li
stenifyoudaredatethatbi
tchniggayouandI
arenolongersist
ersdoyouhearme"
Sheswal
l
owedhar
d
Thando:
"Eh"(
Yes)
Me:
"Good"
Wef
ini
shedeat
ingshechangedi
ntoherol
d
t
ornpj
sthensl
i
ppednextt
ome.
Itr
iednott
obutmymi
ndt
houghtabouthi
m
anyway
HowIwishal
lthi
swasj
ustadream t
henext
morni
ngIwil
lwakeupi
nhisar
ms.
Aft
ergi
vi
nghi
m al
lofmehet
hrewmeoutl
i
kea
dog
IguessIshoul
dhav
eknowIwon'
tstanda
chancethemomentPear
lcamei
ntoourl
i
ves.
Sheisbeaut
if
ul,
wearexpensi
vecl
othesand
weavesandiscomi
ngfrom ari
chfamil
ymina
I
'mjustapoorhomel
essgirl
.
Tothi
nkevenaft
erwhathedi dtomeIsti
lll
ove
hi
m IguessIwon'
tjustf
orgetabouthi
m easi
ly
weweretoget
herfor4years.
•
SQALESI
HLE
•
Iwokeuptot
hebeepi
ngsoundofmachi
nes
andfami
li
arv
oicesmi
xedwit
hsobs.
Iopenedmyheav yeyeswhi
chwaskindaa
str
ugglebutIdi
dn'tgi
veupunt
ilt
heywereopen.
Il
ookedaroundandsawmypar
ent
sandmy
si
bli
ngs.
Me:
"Mybabywher
eismybaby
"
Dad:"
Yourbabyi
sfinesweet
y"hetouchedmy
hugebell
yIpani
ckedthemomentIsawt hi
ngs
connect
edtoit
Me:
"WhydoIhaveall
theset
hingsconnect
edt
o
mybel
lywhati
sgoingon"
Inamandl
a:"
Relaxsist
heyar
ehelpi
ngto
moni t
ort
hebaby '
shear
thewil
lbefi
neokay
"He
kissedmyforehead
Kuhle:
"Pl
easedon'tdot
hattomeagai n"she
engulf
edmewi thahugf ort
helongestti
me
andsniff
ed.Iknewshewascr y
ing.
Mom:
"Let
'sgoofhernowIwantt
ohugmy
baby
"shewi
pedhert
ear
s
Kuhle:
"Sheismyt wi
n,myotherhal
fsoyou
havetowaitafteral
li
t'
sya'
llf
aul
tsheisl
yi
ng
hereonthisbed"Sheletgoofmethenmom
huggedme
Mom:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngsweet
hear
t"
Me:
"If
eel
sodr
ained"
Dad:
"Letmecal
lthedoct
or"Hewentoutand
camebackwit
hadoct or
Doc:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngMi
ssSi
thol
e"
Me:"
Drai
nedandl
i
ghtheaded.
..
howl
onghav
eI
beenher
e"
Doc:
"Youwereadmit
tedy
esterday
morni
ng..
.y
ourbabyi
sastrongli
tt
leboy
."
Me:"I
t'
saboy?
"Ismil
edthi
nki
ngt
hatVi
nwi
l
lbe
happyhewantedaboyv
ele.
Doc:
"Ohyeswewil
lkeepyouher
eunti
lyouare
fi
neYourhi
ghbl
oodpressur
eisver
yhi
ghMi ss
Si
thol
eandyouneedtostopstr
essi
ngi
fyou
wantt
ocar
ryyourbabyf
ullt
erm"
Kuhle:
"Ihopey
ouhear
dthatpar
ent
s"sheey
ed
bothofthem.
Doc:
"Iwi
l
lsendt
henur
set
ogi
vey
oumeds"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Hesmi
l
edandwal
kedout
Dad:
"Youscar
eduspr
incess"
Me:
"I
m sor
ry"
Fewmi nuteslat
erthenursecamet ogi veme
medswhi chIdownt henshewal kedoutl eav
ing
ust al
kingingeneralaft
erthattheyleft
promi si
ngt ocomebackl ater
.Igazedi nto
spaceandt hankGodbet weenmy selffor
sav i
ngmybabyboy .IthoughtIwill
losehi m.
"Staystrongmyboyokaymommyl ov eyou"
"Anddaddyt oo"Theroom waspervadedbyhis
heavenlyscent.Hewalkedinandpull
edmei n
hisarmsIsni f
fedhi
m IwishIcouldstayl
ike
thi
sforever."
Icameasf astasIcouldwhen
y
ourt
winsi
stercal
l
ed.
"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Hepul
l
edbackandbr
ushedmy
f
ace
Vin:
"Iwasworr
iedsi
ckabouty
oubabywhenI
coul
dn'tr
eachyoupl
easedon'
tdot
hatagai
n"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rybabe"
Vi
n:"
It
'sokayhowar
eyouguy
s"
Me:
"Wewi
l
lbef
ine"
Vi
n:"
Whathappened?
"
Tear
swel
l
edupi
nmyey
es
"Babewhat
'swr
ong"het
ookmyhandand
kissedi
t
Me:
"Theydon'
twantust
obet
oget
her
"
Vin:
"Weknewbabyi
twon'
tbeeasyf
ort
hem t
o
accept
"
Me:"
Theyaredisowni
ngmei
fwecont
inuewi
th
ourr
elat
ionshi
p"
Vi
n:"
Whatnot
heycan'
tdot
hat
!"
Me:
"It
'ssounf
airIcantl
i
vewi
thoutmyf
ami
l
y
Vi
n"
Vi
n:"
Iknowbabef
ami
l
yisev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"Wecan'
tgoonany
mor
e"
Vi
n:"NoSi
hleyoupromisedmey ouwil
lfi
ghtf
or
ustobetoget
heryoucan'tsayt
hat.Il
oveyou
Majobepl
easedon'tdothi
stousnobodysaidit
wil
lbeeasypl
easedon'tgiv
euponus"
Hepl
ant
edki
ssesal
lov
ermyf
ace
Me:
"Lov
eyout
ooVi
nbut
..
."
Vin:
"There'
snobutweloveeachot
herand
that
'sthatyourf
ami
lywil
lcomearound"
Me:"
But.
..
"Heshutmeupwithabreat
htaki
ng
ki
ssIcuppedhi
sfacei
ndul
gingi
ntoit
.
Vi
n:"
Tel
lmei
sthi
swhaty
ouwantt
oyoul
ose"
Me:
"Ofcour
senot
"Tear
sfal
lonmyf
acehe
wi
pedthem
Vin:"
Fightf
orusplease,foroursont ogr
owup
i
nahomewi t
hbothpar ent
s.Ilovey ouSi
hleI
can'tl
oseyou"Hepr essedhisforeheadon
minewest ayedinthatposit
ionforfewseconds
"Promisemey ouwillfi
ghtplease"Youmean
thewor l
dtome"Heki ssedmyl i
ps
"It
houghtIshoul
dbr
ingyouf oo.
..
."Webr oke
thekiss"
Yousonofawhor e!
"Hedr oppedthe
Nandospaperbagandmar chedt
oVi n.He
pull
edhim upwit
hhi
sclothesbef
or ethr
owinga
punch
Me:
"Daddypl
easest
opi
t!
"
Dad:
"St
aythef
uckawayfrom mydaught
er
Vi
ncent
!!
!"her
oar
edinanger
Vin:
"Mawakhel omuziIr
espectyouthatdoesn'
t
meanI '
m scaredofyouIbegy oumanl et
'sbe
civi
l
"Dadt hr
ewanot herpunchsendingVin
reel
ingbackwar ds
Me:"
Daddypl
ease!!
"Iscreamedthemachi
nes
st
art
edbeati
ngfast.Thenurser
ushedi
n
Nurse:
"Gent
lemenI'
m goi
ngt
oasky
out
oleav
e
youareupsett
ingher
!"
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Doc:
"Takecar
eofyoursel
fMissZwaney ou
needtomanageyourstr
essit
snotgoodf ort
he
babyandyouneedtohaveenoughrest
"
Me:
"Yesdoct
or"
Doc:
"Iwi
l
lleav
eyouguy
s"
Thula:
"Ready
?"I
twast hef
oll
owi
ngdayIspent
thenighti
nthehospi
tal
Me:"Yes"Hepulledmeinhisar
msandholdme
fordearli
fe"Pleaset
ell
met hi
sisadr
eam"I
sobbedwet t
inghisbl
azer
Thul
a:"
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryst
handwasami
"
Me:
"Howcoul
dtheydot
hist
ous,
howcoul
d
l
eav
eussosuddenly
"
Thul
a:"
Heav
encoul
dn'
twai
tfort
hem"
Me:
"Whatheav
ent
heywer
eshotThul
a!"
Thula:"Theyaresti
lli
nvest
igat
ingbutIheard
oneoft hepoli
cetal
kingtoyourAunti
t'
slook
l
ikey ourfathershotyourmom andhimself
aft
ert hat."
Me:"
Thatbul
l
shi
tdaddywil
lnev
erdot
hat
"He
pul
l
edmebackandwi pedmytear
s
Thul
a:"
Let
'sgo"
Hesignedmeoutthenwedrovehomethecars
weretherei
twasr
ealbuti
tfel
tsounr
ealand
sur
real.
Hehelpedmeoutofthecarandwal
kedwit
h
meinside.Aunt
yZol
ekaatt
ackedmewit
hahug
Aunt
yZol
eka:
"OhbabyI
'
m sosor
ry"
Me:"
ThankyouAunt
y..
.where'
sMvelo"Iwasso
scar
edtofacehi
m mybrothernev
ertake
hear
tachewel
l.
Aunt
yZol
eka:
"Hedi
dn'
tcomehomel
astni
ght
"
Me:
"Ei
shokayIhopehei
sokaywher
everhei
s"
Someofthefewf amil
ymember shadarri
vemy
mom'sanddad'
ssi de.Iwenttothemai n
bedr
oom andgreetedmygr andparentst
henI
wenttomybedroom.Il ai
ddownwi t
hthehel
p
ofThul
a.
Thul
a:"
Doy
ouwantany
thi
ng"
Me:
"Fi
ndmybr
otherohandgi
vememyphone"
Thula:"
Okay"Hekissedmyf or
eheadand
disappear
edthenhecamebackwi t
hmyphone
"Iwil
lfi
ndhim okay"Inoddedwekissedthen
hewentout .
Ideci
dedtocal
lMal
umeUncl
ehepi
ckedaf
ter
for
thri
ng
MalumeUncle:"
LookKonkeI'
m noti
namo.
..
"I
di
dn'twai
tforhi
mt ofi
nish
Me:
"DadandMom passedaway
"
Thewassi
l
encef
orf
ewseconds
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
What
??!
"
Me:"
DaddyandMommyar
edeadMal
ume
Uncl
e"Ibur
sti
ntot
ear
s
MalumeUncle:
"I
'm comi
ngpl
easedon'
tst
ress
toomuchyezwa"Inoddedwit
hmyheadasif
hecanseeme.Iendedthecal
landcri
edmy
l
ungsout.
Ican'tf
athom outthepai
nofl
osingy
our
parentsespeci
all
yatthesameti
meandint
his
manner .
Iwastryi
ngtoputtwoandtwot
oget
herwhat
happenedbutnot
hingseemedt
ocomeint
omy
mind.
Lordwhy ?whathavewedonet osnat chour
belov
edpar ent
sawayf r
om us.Howcoul dyou
all
owt hi
stohappen.Theywor shipedyouGod
whatmor edoy ouwanted?Couldn'tatl
eastlet
them dieaf
tertheyhav
ef i
xedthei
rmar riage,
whentheyarehappytogether
.Mydoorburst
openincamemybr otherwholookeddr
unkbut
thr
oughthatdr
unkennessIsawhowbr okenhe
was
Mv
elo:
"Soi
tist
rue"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMv
elo"
Hecrawlednextt
omeIpressedhi
mt omy
bosom hewiggl
edhi
sshoul
dersandbur
sti
nto
aloudcry.
"I
'
m sosorry
"Webot
hcr
iedi
neachot
her
's
embrace.
Mvelo:
"Youknowwhathurtthemosti sthatI
nev
ergottospendsomucht i
mewi t
ht hem.I
wasalwaysrunningawayandtodaytheyareno
more.Daddiedwhenwewer eatloggerheads
howwillIl
iv
ewi t
hthat"
Me:
"Daddyl
ovey our
egar
dlessIdon'
tthi
nkhe
wi
ll
heholdthatagai
nsty
ou"
Mv
elo:
"Iwasnev
eragoodsont
ohi
m si
s.He
wasnev erpr
oudofme.Ial
waysdefi
edhim and
di
srespecthi
m.Iwasneveragoodson"he
br
okedownev enmor
emakingmyheart
cr
umbl e
Me:"
YouwereagoodsonMvel
o.Youstood
whatyoubel
i
evedi
n.Dadwascont
rol
l
ingyour
l
if
e..
."
Mvel
o:"Hewasdoi
ngwhatbestf
ormeonl
ynow
Ir
eal
ize"
Me:"Don'
tfeel
badf orst
andi
ngupagai nstdad.
Hewasacont rolfr
eakbuthi
sintent
ionswere
purel
ygood.Ilov
ey ouandIwil
lalwaysbewi t
h
you"
HenoddedImadehi
mlookatmeandwi
ped
hi
stear
sthenki
sshi
sfor
ehead.
Weekwentbyrat
herr
apidlyIwasn'
tlooki
ng
for
war
dtoburymyparents.Ever
yonewashere
nowfr
om dad'
ssidet
omymom' sside(fami
ly
)
Thul
awasv
erysuppor
ti
veandIappr
eci
atedhi
s
support
.Mvelowasamessbuthi
sfr
iend
Inamandlawaswit
hhi
m gi
vi
ngall
thesuppor
t
heneed.
Thedayoft
hefuneral
atl
astar
ri
vedmost
pai
nful
dayofmylif
e.
"Comesi sandsaygoodby e"Theyhel dmeasI
gotcl osertolookatt hem fortheverylastt i
me.
Mykneeswer ewobbl ingtheycouldn'
tcont ain
thewei ghtofmybody .Myey esfi
nallylanded
ont hem mommyl ookedsobeaut ifull
ikean
Angel andDaddyl ookedsohandsome.Those
wer ethebestl astpictur
esoft hem capturedi n
mymi ndt hentheoneswher etheywer elyingso
helplesslyandl i
fel
essly.
"
That
'si
sthei
rdaught
er"sai
doneofwoman
"Theonet
hatshowedt
hewhol
ewor
ldher
pri
vat
epart
s"
"
Youar
ely
ing!
"
"
I'
mtel
l
ingy
ou!
"
Il
osti
tandwentt
othem
Me:"Youshoul
dbeashamedofy oursel
f
gossipi
nginafuneral
ift
hatwhatyouwomen
arehereforl
eave!
"
Theyal
ll
ookeddownnxbl
oodygossi
per
s.
MalumeUncl e:
"Comepr incess"Hetookmy
handwewentt ot hechurchwher ethei
rser
vice
wasbeingheld.Theywer emanypeopl eyou'
d
sweartheywerepr esi
dentsbutt henagai
nthey
ownedahugechur ch.Peoplespokeso
beaut
if
ullyaboutthem Icouldn'thel
pbutcr
ied.
Theywer eusef ultot hecommuni t
yandthey
wer egoalst opeopl elittl
edidtheyknewt hat
theywer ealway sfight ingIguesstheymanage
tokeepauni tedf ront ."It
sgoingtobeokay "He
wipedmyt ear sandl aidmyheadonhi schest.
Finall
ywedr ovet ot hecemet erywherethey
wer elaidrest.Ibur sti ntoaloudcrywhent hei
r
casket swerel ower edt otheground.Ifel
tli
ke
someonewasr ippingmyhear toutofmychest.
I
twast
oomuchpai
ntot
akei
natonce.
Igaspedforairbet
weensobsbutItwashar
d
"Konkeyouneedt othi
nkaboutt
hebaby
sweethear
tplease"
Me:
"Ica.
.can'
t
...
"That
'sal
lIsai
d
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Twoweekshavepassedl
i
fei
snotthathar
dcoz
wehav
eshelt
er,f
oodandmoney.
Si
sKathavebeenbabysitt
ingforsomewoman
buti
t'
snotapermanentjobit
sonlyfort
wo
weeksandshepromisedtopayherbigmool
a.
Ihatethatmysi
sterdoesn'
tall
owmetohel
p
herImeanIcanhelpwher eIcanwear
eint
his
toget
her.
"THANDOYOUAREMYLI
TTLESI
STERIHAVE
TOTAKECAREOFYOUNOTTHEOTHERWAY
AROUND.JUSTSITATHOMEANDDO
WHATEVERYOUWANTOKAY"Inoddedsot hat
shecanst
optal
kingevent
houghIknewthatI
wil
lbegoi
ngdoortodoorl
ooki
ngforajob
Ir
oll
edoutofbedandmadei
tthenIbat
hed
mysel
f.
Il
otionedandgotdressedinmyolddr
essand
sandals.Imadebr
eakfastandat
ethenIl
eft
.
AsIwaswal ki
ngtheredPol
osl ackenedit
speedandthewindowlowered.Damni twas
hi
m myhear tski
ppedabeatandmypal ms
perspi
rat
e.
Icoul
dfeel
mykneeswobbl
i
ngt
hatIl
ostmy
step.
Khul
uleka:
"Hel
omancane"(
smal
l
)mancane
Me:
'
H..
hi"
Khul
uleka:"
Wher ei
syoursi
ster"Il
ookedathim
Khul
ekani i
shotguysheisli
ghtskinnedwit
h
smal
lcut eeyes.Hepi
ercedhiseyebrowand
bel
owhi
slowerl
i
p
Hisaf
rosui
thi
m per
fect
lyhei
syummyngat
hi
ngambambabamba.
Me:
"Athome"Il
i
ed
Khul
ekani
:"
Tellhert
hatshei
stheonl
yonethat
canfi
l
lthevacancyinmyheart
..
Iwi
ll
waitf
or
her
"
Me:
"Shedoesn'
twanty
ouwhycan'
tyousee
t
hat
!"Isnapped
Khulekani
:
"Noneedtoshoutmancane"(
smal
l
)
"Seeyouaround"Hedr
oveoffmxm!
Nooneseemedt obeinter
est
edt oemploymeI
wentdoortodoorunt
ilIwast
ired.AredMerc
pul
ledoffnextt
omeasIwasgoi ngbackhome.
"
Hel
l
o"sai
dabeaut
if
ulwoman
Me:
"Hi
"
"
I'
mlooki
ngf
orMt
hembur
esi
dence"
Me:
"Ohy
ouneedt
ogost
rai
ghtandt
urnt
oyour
fi
rstshor
tlef
tthendri
vestr
aightt
hecor
ner
housetherei
sMt hemburesi
dence"
"
Doy
oumi
ndt
oshowmepl
easemychi
l
d"
Me:"Noprobl
em"Iopenedthepassengerdoor
andsteppedin.Theint
eri
orwasevenmor e
beauti
fulshedroveoff
"
Whati
syourname"
Me:
"ThandokuhkeMhl
ongo"
"
Nicename"
Me:
"Tur
nshor
tlef
t"
"
Forgetaboutt
heMthembuy ouandIarebi
g
f
ri
endsnow.Areyouavir
gin?"IeyedherWTF
Me:
"Uhm y
es"
"
Good"
Me:
"Wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngmenow"
"
Wher
eyoubel
ong"
Me:
"What
?Nopl
easel
etmego"Ist
art
ed
pani
cki
ng
"Youareminenowy
ouhav
etoacceptt
hatI
contr
olyou"
Me:"No"Istart
edcry
ingaf
teralongdri
ve
beggingwear r
ivedt
othi
shugehouse.Two
guyst ookmet hemomentthecarpar
ked.I
wiggledcryi
ng.
Wegottothi
sroom wheret
her
eweregir
lswi
th
def
fer
entage,
shape,si
zeandbeaut
y.
Theylockedmeinsidewit
hthegi
rl
s.Ir
oamed
myeyestheyalll
ookedatmewithpi
ty"
Whati
s
goi
ngonher e!
"
Girl
:"
Theyfor
ceustosleepwithmenwewer e
abductedbyhert
oo"WhatOhnoo!Iscr eamed
helpbangi
ng"Youarewasti
ngy ourt
imey ou
areoneofusnowsteel y
oursel
fmydear"I
wentdownonmykneesandcr iedwhathaveI
doneIshouldhav
eli
stenedtoKatIshouldhave
stayedathome.
.
.
Li
kecommentshar
epl
ease.
..HappyVasel
i
ne
Day

[
05/
31,
20:
03]W:
21
KHETHOKUHLE
•
"
Sheissof ondofyou"saidMrsKhanyi
leshei
s
t
hewomant hataskedmet obabysi
ther8
monthsoldbabygirlf
ortwoweekstodaywas
mylastday.
Me:
"Shei
sanador
abl
ebaby
"
MrsK:"
ThankyousomuchKhethokuhl
eyouar
e
sogoodwithherandshel
ovesyou"
Me:"
Ilov
ehert
oo"Isai
dt i
ckl
ingbaby
Sy
ethembashegi
ggledthrowingherbody
carel
essl
y"sheissocute"MrsKsmi l
edwry
lyI
couldseethati
tsaddenedhert
hatitwasmy
l
astdaybutshewasal sohappythatIt
ookcar
e
ver
ywel l
ofherdaughter.
Tr
ustmeIknownot
hingaboutbabi
esbabySy
e
i
stheonet
hatmadethi
ngseasyforme.
MrsK:"Her
eit
'sR4000youcancounti
t"she
handedmeanenv el
ope
Me:
"4Kf
ort
woweeks?
"Iwi
denedmyey
es
Mr
sK:
"Youdeser
vei
thoney
"
Me:
"Thanky
ousomuchMr
sK"
MrsK:"Youar
ewelcomesis.
..
cometomommy
pr
incessaunt
yKhethohavetogonow"I
twas
ar
ound4pm myknockof ft
imevel
e.
Me:
"Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ouguy
s"
Mr sK:"
Wewi ll
mi ssyoutoo"Igaveherbaby
Syewhot i
ght
enedhergriponmydr ess
threat
eningtocry"Youdon'twantmenow"She
tookheragainbabySy ebursti
ntoaloudcry
andli
ft
edherhandsformetotakeher"HeeeifI
knewbett
erI
'dsayyouarepregnant
"shesaid
cal
mingdownawai l
ingSye
Igi
ggl
edofcour
seI'm notpregnantasmuch
asMzwakhewasdemandi ngsexImadesure
wewereusi
ngprot
ecti
on.
Me:
"Goodby
eMr
sKandt
hanky
oual
ot"
MrsK:
"Okaysi
s"Imademywayoutandwent
home.
I
t'sawal
kabl
edi
stanceIcouldn'
twaitt
otell
Thandot
hatwehave4K.Itwasstil
lear
lyforus
togotot
hemallandspoi
l us.
Wuuhwehav ebeeneati
ngtoomuchcabbage
andbeansforpastfewdays.Iwascrav
ing
somethinggreasy
,sal
tyandsweetyIar
ri
vedat
homet hedoorwaslockedwhichwas
sur
pri
sing.
Itookthekeyundert
hematandopenedt
he
door.
Iwonder
edwher
eThandoiscozItol
dhert
o
st
ayathomeormaybeshewenttoseePhi
ndi
l
e.
Ithr
ewtheenvelopont
hebedanddeci
dedto
gotoPhindi
le'
shome.WhenIwasaboutt
oget
outadarkbeauti
ful
ski
nnedgi
rlcamei
n.
Gi
rl
:"
H..
hi"
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
Gi
rl
:"I
'm FezekaNhl
aphoIwaswonder
ingi
fyour
si
steri
sher e?"
Me:"NosheisnotI'
m onmywayt
olookf
orher
atherfr
iendspl
ace"
Gi
rl
:"
Ohno!
"
Me:
"What
?"
Gi
rl
:"
Isawherget
ti
nginaredmercandthatr
ed
mercist
hesameonethatmyli
ttl
esi
sterwas
l
astsawget
ti
ngintoamonthago"
Me:
"Whatar
eyousay
ingt
ome?
"
Gi
rl
:"
Ther
e'swomanwhoi
staki
ngy
ounggi
rl
s
f
orhumantraffi
cki
ngthesadpartissheis
worki
ngwit
ht hepol
ice.Wehavereport
edmy
missi
ngsi
sterbuteventodayt
heyhaven't
f
oundher.
"
Nonono!
Me:
"Don'
ttel
lmeThandoi
s..
."
Gi
rl
:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:"
OhmyJesus!"Iwenttosi
tdownonthe
bedtr
yingt
ocalm mysel
fdown."
Whatam I
goi
ngtodoifthepol
i
cewon'thel
pus"Tear
sfal
l
downonmyf ace.
Thethoughtofherbei
ngmolestedbydif
fer
ent
mendr ov
emecr azy.Orwhati
fIneverseeher
agai
nOhGodwhyar eyouall
owingustosuffer
l
iket
his?
Whathavewedonetoy
ouory
ouhav
e
f
orgot
tenaboutus?
Me:"Haveyourpar
ent
sf i
ndhel
pfr
om ot
her
peopleexceptt
hepol
ice?"
Gir
l:
"Mom isinthehospit
alshehadstrokeaf
ter
thedi
sappearanceofZethuI '
mt heonl
yone
whoisleftathomeandIdon' tknowwhattodo"
hereyessparkl
edwithtears
Me:
"Howol
dar
eyou"
Gi
rl
:"
18y
ear
s"
Me:
"Comeher e"shewal
kedtomeIpull
edher
onmyl apandhuggedher"I
tsgoi
ngt
obeokay
wegoingtofi
ndoursist
ers"
Gi
rl
:"
How?Thepol
i
cear
e..
."
Me:"
SsshIjustneedtot
hinkfi
rstbutwewi
l
l
br
ingthem homeIpromiseyou..
Tell
me
ev
erythi
ngthatcoul
dhel
p"
Girl
:
"Iknowt henumberplat
eofther
edmer c
andIthinkZethutri
edtocal
lme.Ther
e'sa
numbert hatcal
ledmeaweekbackbutit'
s
droppedaf t
erIhear
dshouti
ngs"
Me:
"Thatnumbercanhel
ptotr
acewher
ear
e
t
heyhidi
ng..
.l
et'
sgotot
heshopIneedt
ocl
ear
mymi
nd"
Gir
l:
"Okay"ShestoodupIt
ookt
het wohundr
ed
noteontheenvelopet
henwewalkedout
headingt
ot heshop
Me:"Soyoust
ayal
onesi
ncey
ourmom i
satt
he
hospit
al"
Gi
rl
:"
Yes"
Me:"
Whatdoy ouwantmet obuyforyou"I
coul
dseethatshehadn'
thavefoodcozher
mouthwasdry.
Gi
rl
:"
Any
thi
ngeat
abl
epl
ease"
West
art
edt
osomeboyIknow
Me:
"Ehy
hoTbose"
Tbose:
"HeyKatwhoi
sthi
sbeaut
if
ulbabenext
toyou"
Me:
"Shei
snogoar
eaboy
"
Tbose:
"Haht
hatunf
air
..
.howcanIhel
pyou
today"
Me:"Ineedt saghar aghabra"Heeyedmewi t
ha
rai
sedbr ow.Ci garettewasnotgoingtohel
pI
neededsomet hingst rongthent
hat.Youmust
bewonder i
ngsi ncewhendoIsmokenowf or
someobscur er easonI '
dfi
ndmy sel
fcr
avi
ngfor
acigarette.
Tbose:
"Si
ncewhen"
Me:
"NowIneedi
tbr
atocl
earmymi
nd.Thando
i
smissi
ng"
Tbose:
"OhI'
m sor
ryhav
eyour
epor
tedher
missi
ng?"
Me:
"No"
Tbose:"
Youneedtor
epor
thermi
ssing
Kat.
..
here"hegav
emeboxofmatches.
Me:"
Thankyou"Igav
ehi
m hi
smoneyandhe
r
etur
nedthechange
Tbose:
"Sur
e"
Me:"
ComeFezeka"Wewal kedtoafastf
ood
shop"Youhav
ethatphonewithyou?"
Fezeka:"Yes"Iboughtt
woplat
esofst
eak,wors,
chakalakaandpap.Ont hewayhomeIboughta
col
ddr ink.
Me:"Feelathome"Shesatdownandateno
scratchthatshegobbl
edherf
oodshamemy
heartbroke.
Ipl
acedmyf
oodont
het
abl
eandr
oll
ajoi
ntof
weed.
Il
i
ghtitandst
art
edsmoki
ng"
Ihopey
oudon'
t
mind"
Shedidn'
thearmeshewasdamnf
ocusedon
herf
ood" Fez"
Fez:
"Mhm"shel
ookedupatme
Me:
"Youdon'
tmi
nd"
Fez:
"No"shecont
inueeat
ingl
i
ket
her
e'sno
tomorr
ow.
Me:
"Youknowmyname?
"
Fez:
"Yes"
Il
ookedatherassheatebutmymindwasf ar
awayIneededaplant
of i
ndmyli
tt
lesi
ster
.
It
ookonel
ongpuf
fandf
eltdi
zzyi
nagoodway
.
Comeont
hinkKat,
thi
nkpl
ease.
Me:
"Weneedsomeonewhoi
sgoi
ngt
otr
ace
t
helocat
ion"
Fez:
"Phakamani
isgoodwi
thhacki
ngor
whatsoever
"
Me:"Heisper f
ectforthejob.Weal sogoingto
needmoneyal otofmoneyy ouknowoncewe
got her
eandr escueoursisterstheywill
lookfor
usunt i
ltheyfi
ndusandi twillbeov erwi
thus
si
ncet heyarewor ki
ngwi ththepolice.Doyou
perhapshav esomewher eyoucangot o?"
Fez:
"Mymom'
ssi
ster
'spl
aceatPaul
pit
ersbur
g"
Me:
"Mysi
sterandIwil
lseewher
ewewill
goso
t
hemoneyisgoingt
ohelpusrel
ocat
e"
Fez:
"Wher
ewi
llwegett hatmoneyandhowar
e
wegoingt
ogetoursi
stersI'
m sur
ethear
e
guardsev
erywher
e.I
'
m sor
ryKatbuty
ourpl
an
soundsolame"
Me:
"Youhav
en'
thear
dal
lofi
t"
Fez:
"I
'ml
i
steni
ng"
Me:"MrDubeisgoi ngt
ogiveusthemoneywe
wil
lmakehi m giv
eusmoneywi thorwi
thouthi
s
wil
l.Helikegi
rl
st oomuchwewi l
luset
hatto
ourownadv antage.Weneedresour
cesanda
dri
ver"MrDubei sournei
ghborwhoisfi
lt
hyri
ch
butgreedy.
Fez:"
Howwi ll
youmakePhakamani
hel
pushe
i
sv eryupt
ightthatone.
"
Me:
"Ther
e'sonl
yoneweapont
obeataman"
Fez:
"Andt
hati
s?"
Me:
"Nakedweapon"
Fez:
"Mmmhy
ouar
esocl
ever
"
Me:
"Iknowhey
"wegi
ggl
ed.
Lor
dpl
easepr
otectt
hem andgi
vemest
rengt
h
t
odot
his.
•
VI
NCENT
•
ThedeathofZinziandSbul eftal
lofus
shat
ter
edImi ghthavehatedSbuf orwhathe
didt
omeandmymot herbuthewasagood
brot
heratsomepoi ntasforZinziwewereonce
goodbestfr
iendstofuckf r
iendsandshewasa
motherofmydaught er.
Sihl
eandIaresti
llseeingeachot hereven
thoughwearediscreetIhateitIdon'twantt
o
l
ietoyoubutit
'sbetterthantoloseher.
"
Dropthecal
lIwil
lfacet
imey
ouIwantt
osee
y
ourangel
icface"
Sihl
e:"
Okay"Weendedthecallt
henIfacetime
hershelookedsobeaut
if
ulInevergetenough
ofherbeautyshei
ssoperfect
Me:
"Nunuhowar
eyou"Il
eanmybackont
he
headoft
hebed
Si
hle:
"Wemi
ssy
ouNget
he"
Me:"
Imi
ssyouguystoosneakingar
oundi
s
ki
l
li
ngmebaby.Iwanttomarryyounow"
Si
hle:
"Wet
alkedaboutt
hisnj
e"
Me:
"I
'm wayt
oool
dfort
heseMaj
obe"
Si
hle:
"Whatdoy
ouwantmet
odo!
"
Me:"
Don'
tshoutatmeIwasj
ustt
ell
i
ngyouhow
If
eelisi
twrongtoshar
emyf
eeli
ngswi
thmy
woman?"
Sihl
e:"
I'
m sor
ryImreal
l
ysorry
.Thi
sisstr
essi
ng
met oo.Youknowdadishavi
ngpeopl
e
foll
owingmearoundmakingsur
eI'
m notwit
h
you"
Me:
"That
'sext
remenow"
Sihle:
"Tel
lmeabouti
t"sher
oll
edherey
es
"PleasemakeaplanandcomebabyIcan'
ttake
thei t
chanymor
e"
Me:"
Ihavesomefewt
hingst
odomyl
oveand
KonkeandMvel
oneedme"
Si
hle:
"Ial
soneedy
ou"herl
i
pst
rembl
ed
Me:
"IknowbutIpr
omi
seIwi
l
lcome"
Si
hle:
"When"shest
art
edcr
ying
Me:"
Babycomeondon'
tcr
ypl
easeIwi
l
lcomeI
pr
omise"
Sihl
ecri
edlouderohGod" OkaymyloveI
'm
comingdon'tcr
y"Ihat
eitwhenshecryandI
madeherpregnantsoIgottadel
i
ver
Si
hle:
"Real
l
y?"shesobbed
Me:
"Yesst
handwasami
thul
ayezwa"
Shenoddedwi
pinghert
ear
s
Si
hle:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:"
Iloveyousomuchl
etmef
reshenupand
dr
ivestr
aightt
oyou"
Si
hle:
"Ican'
twai
t"shebi
teherl
i
psIchuckl
ed.
Igotupandwentt ofr
eshenupaf tert
hatIwore
anav yKurtGei
gerchi
no,whit
eKur tGeiger
casualgolf
er,l
i
ghtKurtGei
gerjacketandKurt
Geigersneaker
s.
WhenIfini
shedever
ythi
ngIt
ookmyphoneand
cal
lKonkebutshewasnotanswer
ingher
phone.
It
ookt
heJaguarkey
sandheadedt
othedoor
.
Iopeneditt
omysur
pri
sethest
oodSi
hle'
s
fat
herwhowasweari
ngli
kemebutdi
ff
erent
col
ours.
Helookedatmeandf
rownedwhatcanIsaywe
hav
esamet ast
e.
Mawakhe:
"CanIcomei
n"
Me:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Mawakhe:
"Hi
"
Me:
"Comein"Imadeaspacef
orhi
mtocome
i
n"Youwantanyt
hingt
odri
nk"
Mawakhe:"I
'
m nothereforav i
sitIcametotell
youforthel
astt
imenowst aythefuckaway
fr
om mydaughter.Idi
dntraisemypr i
ncessto
beplayedbyati
reddickman. "Ohifonl
yy ou
knewshewascr yi
ngforitmi nutesago
Me:
"Il
ovehery
oucan'
tsepar
ateus.
..
"hecut
meoff
Mawakhe:"
Ihopeyoudon'twantmet ot
ell
my
daught
eraboutyourunset
tl
ingpast
"
Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Me:
"Youdon'
twantt
otakemeonMawakhe"
Mawakhe:
"St
ayawayf
rom herandl
etherbeor
Iwi
l
lsing"
Me:
"Idontknowwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
"
Hel
aughed
Mawakhe: "
NokukhanyaMabizel
adoy ou
rememberher?Ohy ouhaveto"Hepat t
edmy
shoulderandwalkedout
.Igroanedoutof
frust
rati
onwhodoeshet hi
nkhei sdi
ggingmy
pastnx!
!Iwascaughtupinadif
fi
cul
tsi
tuat
ion
shoul
dItel
lheraboutmypastwhati
fIl
oseher
orImustli
stenherf
ather
.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Li
feissoul
lesswithoutmom anddadIst
il
l
can'
tbel
iev
et heyaregone.
Wewill
nevergetusetotheirabsenceIcr
y
ev
ery
dayandnightithar
dt oacceptthatt
hey
ar
egone.
Theanonymoushavest
oppedsending
messagesbutMal
umeUncleissti
l
lwor ki
ngon
i
t.
Me:"Iwannaf
eelgoodmakemefeelgood"He
l
ookedatmewi t
hhishal
fcl
osedeyesand
sl
ippedint
omeImoanediffel
tsooogood
Thul
a:"
Fucky
ouaresotight
"hesaidbui
ldi
ngup
hi
space.Moansofpl
easureescapedi
nmy
mout hasheincreasethedept
hofhist
hrust
s.I
sankmynailsonhi sarms."Ohshi
t!
"He
thr
ustedhardercausingahugewave
careeni
ng.
..
.
"Honeywearehome"AsIwasstil
lsur
pri
sedby
thatt
hedoorbur
stopen.Thul
ajumpedupwith
shock
"
Dada"sai
dthebabygi
rlt
hel
adywascar
ryi
ng.
Ohshi
t!
!
Thul
a:"
Buhl
ebenkosi
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"
Lady :
"Whatthefuckisthi
sThula??Youare
fuckingawhor einourbed!!Bi
tchdi
dhet el
lyou
thatheisengagedandhav eadaught er
!!
"she
roaredinangeratthatmomentIwi shedIcould
disappeari
nt heair
.
Icouldn'
tbel
ieveIwasstupi
dagain!Ihave
neverfel
tsohumi l
iat
edl
ikethati
nmyl if
e.Why
doIkeepat t
ract
ingbadguys.
•
NARRATED
•
MrsZondiwastal
ki
ngont hephonewhil
e
hav
ingaglassofwine.Herl
egswerer
estedon
aglasst
able.
Her
:"
Shei
sseal
edj
ustt
hewayy
oul
ovet
hem"
Hi
m:"
Howol
disshe"
Her
:"
15/
16"
Hi
m:"
Per
fecthowmuch"
Her
:"
Fory
ou1m"
Hi
m:"
Haat
hat
'st
oomuch"
Her
:"
OhcomeonJosiasy
ougoi
ngt
omakea
l
otofmoneywi
thher
"
Hi
m:"
800K"
Her
:"
Youar
eki
l
li
ngmenow"
Hi
m:"
I'
myourr
egul
arJane"
Her
:"
Okayf
inet
omor
rowni
ghtshewi
l
lbe
y
our
s"
Him:"
Youar etheboss"Theyendedt
hecal
l
"Jef
f!
"shescreamedoneofherguy swho
appearedsecondslat
er
Guy
:"YesbossLady
"
Her:
"Makesuret
hej
eti
sreadyt
omor
rowni
ght
Josi
asistaki
ngt
henewgir
l"
.
.
Li
kecommentshar
epl
z
[
05/
31,
20:
03]W:
22
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Me:"LetmegotoPKnowIdon'thavet
imeto
wastesomemanmi ghthavi
nghiswaywi
thmy
si
steraswearespeaki
ng"
Fez:
"Theworl
discr
uel
Ican'
tbel
i
eveawoman
candothat
."
Me:"
Womenarethemostev
ilcreat
uresI
'm
t
ell
i
ngyou.Pl
easegi
vemet hatphone"
Shet
ookitoutofherj
eanpocketandshowed
methenumber.
Me:
"Youcansl
eepwi
thmet
odayi
fyoudon'
t
mi
nd"
Fez:
"Real
l
y?"shebeamed
Me:
"Yes"
Fez:
"Thanky
ousomuchKat
"shej
umpedt
ome
andgavemeahugehug
Me:"
Youarewel
come.
.ar
eyousureyouful
lyou
caneatmyfoodIwi
ll
bri
ngsupperwhenI
comeback"
Fez:
"I
'mf
ull
"shesai
dshy
lyl
ooki
ngdown
Me:"Heylookatme"Ipl acedmyhandsonher
shouldersshelookedupatmewi thher
sparkli
ngeyes"Don'tbeafrai
dtosayyouar
e
sti
l
lhungr yIwon'tbi
teyouokay"
Fez:
"Il
astat
eyest
erdaymor
ning"
Me:"I
'
mr eal
lysor
ryforev
ery
thi
ngy
ouar
egoing
thr
ough.Idon'
thavemuchbutIpr
omi
seto
hel
py ouwhereIcan."
Fez:
"Youhaveagoodheartthankyousomuch"
shewrappedherarmsaroundmeand
squeezedmet i
ghtl
yIpul
l
edbackaf tersome
ti
mebutshehel donmesoIl etherbe."Uhm
sorr
y"shepul
ledback
Me:
"Youdon'
thav
etobesor
ryFez"
Fez:
"Ihardl
yknowyoubutIfeelcomfor
tabl
e
andsafearoundyoupl
easeforgivemefor
gett
ingtoocomfort
abl
earoundy ou"
Me:"Don'
tbesi
l
lyitsgoodtohavesomeone
whomakey oufeelsafeandcomfort
abl
eand
I
'm sogladI
'mthatpersontoyou"
Fez:
"Yesitsgoodbutthesadthi
ngIcan'
tkeep
people.Theyal
waysleavemeandIdon'twant
togot hr
oughthatpai
nagain.I
tshur
tKat"
Me:
"Iwon'
tl
eav
eyouIpr
omi
se"
Fez:
"Don'
tmakepr
omi
sesy
oucan'
tkeep"
Me:
"I
'm apr
omi
sekeeperbabyy
ouwi
l
lsee"
Shesmil
edwidel
ythatwhenInot
icedshehav
e
di
mplesandshesobeauti
ful
.
"
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ngmakey
our
sel
ffeel
athomeI
wi
llbeback"
Fez:
"Okay
"Iwentoutgoi
ngt
oPhakamani
'
s
pl
ace.
I
t'
snotthatfarfr
om myshackohImean
Mzwakhe'sshack.Iwonderi
fhemi
ssmecozI
r
eall
ymisshim.
Iwashopingbythi
st i
mehewi l
lbebacktome
andapologi
se.Any
wayIgottoPK' spl
aceand
knockedonthedoor.Heopeneditandlooked
surpr
isedwhenhesawme
PK:"
Katwhatareyoudoi
ngher
e?"whata
gent
leman*rol
l
ingeyes*
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
PK:"Ohum sorryy
oucancomei n"Heopened
thedoorwidethenIwal
kedin.Myey esroamed
aroundhi
skitchenwastoobeauti
fuland
Immaculat
ef oramalet
hatisstayi
ngalone.
Me:
"Youhav
eabeaut
if
ulhouse"
PK:
"Im sur
ethati
snotareasonwhyyouar
e
her
e"PKi sageekguywhoalwaysenj
oyhi
s
onl
ycompany .
Henev ersoci
ali
zewi t
hpeopl
eandyouwould
har
dlyseehim around.Hei
sjustadoozyki
nda
guywit
hgoodl ooks.
Me:"
Youwon'
tof
fermeadr
inkorat
leasta
seat
"
PK:
"Saywhaty
ouwantt
osayandl
eav
eKat
"
Me:
"Whyusomar
a?"(
whyar
eyoul
i
ket
his?
)
Helookedatmewi t
haf r
ownandf
oldedhi
s
ar
msagai nsthi
schest
.
PK:
"YazIwasbusy
"
Me:
"Ugci
neni
niukubhebha"(
Whenwast
hel
ast
t
imeyouhadsex)
Hisey
esshotupthroughhi
sgl
assesIgi
ggl
ed
andhi
thi
schestplayful
"
Ithav
ebeenawhil
enehkodwanawey ouneed
t
oloosenupgi
rl
sdoesn'
twantanupt
ightguy
."
PK:
"Ar
eyouf
ini
sh?
"
Me:"
Noactual
l
yIhaven'
tst
art
edI
'
m wai
ti
ngf
or
youtoof
fermeaseat"
PK:"
Comethisside"hesai
dratherannoyedand
l
edmet ot
hel oungewherewesatdownont he
couchmydresswentupex posingmyt hi
ghs.
Heey edmyt
highsandswall
owedspitIdeci
ded
tocrossmyl
egsmakingtheviewgr
eaterthen
before.
Me:
"Il
i
ket
obest
aredatwhenI
'
mtal
ki
ng"
Hel
ookedupatmesheepi
shl
y
"Thankyou.
..
mysi st
erismissingIneedyour
helptot
racethelocati
on.Ihavet henumber
youcanusetot r
aceit.It
hinky ouhavehear
d
theredmercthatistaki
ngy ounggirl
sI.
..
"he
cutmeof f
PK:
"NoIcan'
thel
pyouI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"ComeonI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
PK:
"That
'
swomangoteyesever
ywher
eIdon'
t
wantany
thi
ngt
hatgoi
ngtogetmeintr
oubl
e"
Me:
"Shewon'
t.
..
"
PK:
"Isai
dno!
"heshout
ed
Me:"Don'
tyouhaveempathygi
rl
sarebei
ng
molestedever
ydayandyoucoul
dsavethei
r
l
iv
es"
PK:"Youdon'
tknowwhoar eyoutal
ki
ngabout
thatwomanisdangerousKatandit
ssadthat
noonecanhelpy oucozthepol
iceareher
fri
ends"
Me:
"Youar
etheonl
yonewhocanhel
pme.
Thi
nkaboutt
hei
nnocentgi
rl
syouwi
l
lsav
e."
PK:
"It
hinky
oushoul
dgonow!
"
Me:
"PK.
."
PK:"
Gonow!"Hestoodupandpul
l
edmeup
fr
om thecouch"
Leav
enow"
Me:"Ihav eapl anIjustneedy outot rustme. "
I
wrappedmyar msar oundhisneck"Youdon' t
real
izehowski ll
edy ouare.Usey ourskills
effi
cientl
yt hatwomanneedt obest oppedi fthe
poli
cecan' thelpust henwegot t
af i
ghtf or
ourselvesasl ongaswear euni t
ed.Wecan' t
j
ustpr etendasi feveryt
hingisgoi ngalright
whileweknowt hereisadev i
l whoispr eying
ourlitt
lesisters.Thosegirl
sli
v esdependon
youmany ouandIcanmakeagoodt eam. "
PK:"Thatwomani scruelIsawhersl i
cingmy
fr
iendintopieceseventodaythatimagei ssti
ll
pl
ast er
edonmymi ndIcan'ttakeitoffwhenI
cl
osemyey esIseehi m beggi
ngmet ohelphim
butIcouldn'
tIwasal soscaredformyl if
eI..
I.
."
t
ear
sgl
i
stenedi
nhi
sey
es
Me:"
YhoI
'
m sosorryyouseenowwhyy ou
got
tadot
his.Sheneedtopayf
orwhatshedi
d"
PK:
"Ican'
t.
..
"
Me:"Youcanyouneedtostopbei
ngafr
aid
sometimesfeari
sdraggi
ngustodotheri
ght
thi
ngs"
Hewasshakinguncontr
oll
abl
eIpull
edhi
mi n
myarmsandembr acedhim."
I'
m sorr
yabout
yourf
ri
end"Hepull
edbackandsatdownont he
couch
PK:"
Iguessy
ouarer
ight"Isatdownnextt
ohi
m.
"Tel
lmewhatist
heplan"
musici
nmyearsafterwedi
scussedt
heplan
meti
cul
ousl
yandhewashappyaboutitt
henI
l
eft
.Ist
art
edatTbose
Tbose:
"Twot
imesadaywowI
'
mlucky
"
Me:
"Ineedy
ourhel
p"
Tbose:
"WhatZi
sha"
Me:"Thewomant hattookThandoi
swor ki
ng
wi
tht hepoli
cesoIhav eapl
anhowt ogetmy
si
sterback.I
'm comi ngfr
om PK.Heishelpi
ng
met otracet
hel ocati
on"
Iwentonandt
oldhi
mthepl
an
Tbose:"
Soundper
fectwhatdoyouwantmet
o
hel
py ouwit
hbesi
degoingwithyou"
Me:
"Tost
eal
youruncl
e'
sgunsf
oruspl
ease"
Tbose:
"YhoKat
"
Me:
"I'
m beggi
ngy
oumanI
'
m sodesper
ate.Just
3gunsonly.
"
Tbose:
"OkayIwi
l
lseewhatIwi
l
ldo"
Me:"
Thanky
oumanIknowIcancountony
ou
any
time"
Tbose:
"Si
sonke"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowt
hen"
Tbose:
"Sur
e"webumpedf
istt
henIl
eft
.
IboughtKot
asf
orsupperandcol
ddr
inkt
hen
wenthome.
Fez:
"Whatdi
dhesay
?"shesai
dassoonasIgot
i
n
Me:"Heagr
eed"Iputev
ery
thi
ngont
het
abl
eand
satdownnexttoher
Fez:
"That
'swonder
ful
"
Thefol
l
owingmorningIwokeupnextt
oFez
shesmil
ed"Mor
ning"
Me:
"Wer
eyouwat
chi
ngmeonmysl
eep?
"
Fez:
"Youar
esobeaut
if
ulev
enwheny
ouar
e
asl
eep"
Ismi
l
ed
Me:"Thankyoubabey ouar ealsobeautif
ulI
l
ov eyoureyestheysobeaut i
ful"shesmiled"
I
needtogetupt odayisgoingtobeal ongday
there'
salottodo.Iwil
lleavey oualoneIhave
togosomewher e.I
'
m sorryforthat"
Fez:
"Iunder
standKat
"
Me:"Okay "IdraggedmyselfupIwast i
redI
hardlysleptlastni
ghtt
hinkingaboutThando.I
gottabringherhomet onightbefor
etheyhurt
herev enmor e.
Itookaqui
ckbat
hIwasrunni
nglat
eal r
eady
ti
mewas9am.Igotdr
essedint
oadr essand
sandal
s.
"
Makebr
eakf
astwheny
ouwakeup"
Fez:
"Okay
"
Me:
"By
e"
Iwal
kedoutandtookataxi
totown.Ibr
eat
hed
outl
oudl
yandknockedonthedoor.
Icoul
dhearshuf
fl
ingscomi
ngt
owar
dst
hent
he
dooropened
Pear
l:
"Bi
tchwhatdoy
ouwanther
e!"
Me:
"Iwantt
otakemydocument
s"
Pear
l:
"Eyl
eav
e!"
Me:"Don'
tbehosti
lePear
lI'
mjusther
eformy
documentsandleaveIwantnodrama"
Pear
l:
"Whatdocument
s??
"
Me:"
Doy oualwayshavetorai
seyourvoi
ce.
.I
wantmyI D,mysist
er'
sbirt
hcert
if
icat
e,my
matr
iccerti
fi
cat
eev er
ythi
ng"
Pearl:
"Comei n"Iwalkedinshefol
l
owedmet o
thebedr oom thatusetobeThando's.Idon'
t
thinkshecleanev ery
thi
ngwasjustthewaywe
l
ef ti
tev ent
hedocument s."Hur
ryupIcan't
standy ouruglysight
!"
Itookal
lmydocument
sandputt
hem i
nmy
bag.
Me:
"Fi
nish"Iwentoutoft
hebedr
oom asshe
f
oll
owedme
Pearl
:"
OhbeforeIfor
getIhav
esomethi
ngfor
you"shedi
sappearedandcamebackwithan
i
nvit
ati
on."
I'
mi nvi
ti
ngyoutoourweddi
ngon25
Decemberallt
hedetail
sarei
nther
e"shegave
met heinvi
tat
ionthat'
swhenInoticedt
hering
onherf i
nger"
Wear ealsoexpect
ingourface
born"Itooktheinvi
tati
onandsquasheditthen
thr
ewi tonherface
Me:
"Fucky
ou!
"
Ihear
dhergi
ggledasIwalkedout
.Tear
s
warmedupinmyey es.Mz
wakheneverlov
ed
menowitsclear
ly.
Hewaswit
hmebecausewewerebothpoor
nowt
hatheiswor
kingI
'
m nol
ongerhi
sleague.
IfonlyIknewIwouldn'thavefal
linlovewit
h
him nowmyhear tisbroken.Itri
ednottocr y
ont hewayhomebuti twashar d.IwishIdidn'
t
got herebutIhadnochoice.Iwipedmyt ears
andst eppedoutofthetaxi
.IwalkedtoPK's
place.
PK:"Hel
lo"Iwalkedinandkissedhi
m hungr
il
y
"Katareyouokay"Idroppedmybagdown
Me:
"St
opt
alki
ngandf
uckme"Iki
ssedhi
m
agai
nher
espondedwi
thsomuchhunger
.
Hepi
ckedmeupIwrappedmylegsaroundhi
s
wai
stashewentt
ohisbedr
oom Iassume.
West
ri
ppednakedourcl
othesf
lyi
ngi
ntheai
r.
Hegent lyputmeont hebedandgotont opof
mei ntensi
fyi
ngthekiss.Hetraceki
ssesonmy
neckandsucki ngonithard.Heputonthe
rubberandent er
edmeIgr oanedoutof
pleasureashepi ckuphispace.
Wefucked,
groani
ngandsweat
ingunt
ilwe
cl
i
maxed
Hecol
l
apsedonmeandpant
ed.
PK:"
Damnt hatwasamazing"Hel
ookedatme
andplant
edal ongpeckonmyli
ps"Thanky
ou
somuch"
Me:
"Nowmov
eyourheav
ysel
fof
fme"
PK:
"HawKatIt
houghtwewi
l
lcuddl
e"
Me:
"Cuddl
eforwhat
"
PK:
"Whatki
ndofagi
rlar
eyouwej
ustmade
l
ove.
..
"
Me:"
Thatwhereyouarewrongwefuckedwe
di
dn'
tmakel ov
e.Sukandodaphekwami"He
si
ghedheavi
lyandroll
eddownIgotupandgot
dr
essed"Tboseagreedsoweareontonight
"
PK:
"Okay
"
Me:"
Havey
ousor
tev
ery
thi
ngr
egar
dingMr
Dube"
PK:"
Yes"Hegotupandwor
ehi
spant
sonl
y
"Come"
Wewenttohi
sstudyr
oom heopenedthe
dr
awerandgavemethedevi
ces."
Plantt
hem i
n
ev
eryr
oom"
Me:
"OkayIwi
l
lcal
lyout
hen"
PK:
"Ar
eyousur
eyouokay
?"
Me:
"Mysi
steri
smi
ssi
nghowcanIbeokay
!"
PK:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
"
PK:
"Okay
"
IwenthomebutFezwasnotther
eIt
ookabath
andworeaJean,bl
ackT-
shir
tandsneaker
s.
Fezwalkedi
n
Fez:
"Youar
eback"
Me:
"YesIneedy
out
odosomet
hingbabygi
rl
"
Itookherhandthenwesatont
hebed"Ineed
youtoplantthecamer
asinMrDube'
shouse.
"
Fez:
"NoI
'
m scar
edKatwhati
fhecat
chme"
Me:"Hewon'
tifyouhurr
yup.
..
heusual
l
ycome
thi
stimef
rom wor kt
ofuckawhor
eandgo
backtoworkagain."
Fez:
"YhoIcan'
tKatI
m sor
ry"shesai
dwi
tha
shakyvoi
ce
Me:"Iaskyoubecauseyouwil
lfi
tint
hatsmal
l
windowatt heback.Iwoul
dhavedonei
tmysel
f.
I
'm sorry
"
Fez:
"Hewi
l
lcat
chmeKatand.
.."
Me:"Ssshyouneedtor
elaxnot
hingisgoi
ngto
happenpleaset
rustme"shewasv er
yscar
ed
andshaking
Fez:"
I'
m scaredI.
..
"Ipressedmyl i
psonher s
andkissedhertomysur pri
seshedidn'
t
hesit
atetorespond.Icaressedhersmallbreast
asIintensi
fythekissshemoanedi nmymout h.
Iki
ssedherneckl eavi
ngl ovebi
tessheletouta
whisper"OhmyGod"
Imadeherli
edownwi thherbackandwent
downonher.It
ookof fherpanti
esexposi
ng
herbushandst
retchedherl
egstotheirut
most
ext
ensiont
henateherli
keacupcake.
Shepressedmyheadagai
nsthernun
suff
ocati
ngmeasshescreamedallsor
tof
goddam words.
Iwentindeeperrol
li
ngmytoungeinherand
drewalphabetsshescr
eamedlouderherbody
convul
sedl i
kedemonswerebeingexorci
ze
f
rom her
.
Igotupandl
ayont
ophert
henki
ssedher
.
Me: "
Ihopey ouarecalm now"shenoddedshy ly
andhi dherfacewithherhands"Dontbeshy "I
remov edherhandsf r
om herface" Thi
s
beautiful
faceofyoursdoesn'tdeservetobe
hidden"Shesmi l
ed" Youcandoi tdon'tbe
scared"Igotupf rom herandtookat owelto
wipehert hensheputonherpant ies
Fez:
"Okayl
et'
sdot
his"
Me:
"That
'smygi
rl
"Wehi
ghf
ived.
15minut
esl
atershecamebackwi
thasmi
l
eon
thef
ace
"
Youdi
dit
!
Fez:
"Yeah"Wewai
tedf
orMrDubet
ocome
backthenIcal
l
edPK
PK:
"Youwon'
tbel
i
evewhatI
mlooki
ngat
"
Me:
"What
?"
PK:
"Hecamewi
thaguyt
odayeuww"
Me:
"Youl
i
e"
PK:
"Comeandseei
tyour
sel
f"
Me:
"Okay
"
Wit
hthatsai
dFezandIwentt
oPK'shouseand
heshowedusMrDubemakingoutwi
thaguy.
Me:"If
eelsor
ryforhi
swif
eshedoesn'tknow
thatwhensheisatworkherhusbandfuckgi
rl
s
andguy s"
Fez:
"Hewoulddoany
thi
ngtokeept
hissecr
et
fr
om hi
swifehewon'
thesi
tat
etogi
veus
money"
Indeedhedidn'
thesit
atewi
thi
n30mi nutes
were100kr i
ch.Hourswentbyslowl
yifmay
addIcouldn'
twaittosavemysister
.Ifel
tli
ke
themoretimewentbychancesofseeingher
werefadi
ng.
At8pm wedrovetot
helocat
ion.Tbosewas
dr
ivi
nghisf
ather'
sVi
toandPKwasdr i
vi
nghi
s
GTI
.
FezandIweredri
vi
ngwit
hPKwhil
eTbosewas
wit
hhistwobrot
hers.Wear
ri
vedt
othi
shuge
house.
Fez:
"Pl
easebesaf
e"
Me:
"Iwi
l
ldo"shehuggedme
Ist
eppedoutofthecarandwentt
otheVi
to.
Wetookourguns.
Tbosejumpedinsi
detheyar
dthenf
ewminut
es
l
aterheopenedthegatef
orus.Wewenti
ngun
shotsweref
iredandwefi
redbackt
othet
wo
guards.
Theyfall
downgivingusanallowancetowalked
i
nsidethehouse.Wesearchedalltherooms
anduntilwegottothi
speculi
arroom and
tur
nedthehandlebutitwaslocked.
"Thandoar
eyoui
nther
e?"Iscr
eamedont
he
othersi
de
"
SisKati
sthaty
ou?"shecr
iedont
heot
her
si
de.
Tbose'
sbr
otherki
ckt
hedoorandi
tbr
oked
down.
Ir
ani
nsi
deandwentt
ohugmyl
i
ttl
esi
ster
Thando:
"Youf
oundme"
shecr
iedandsqueezed
meintoahug.
Me:
"Yesbaby
"
Thando:
"I
'm sor
ryf
ornotl
i
steni
ngt
oyo.
..
"
Me:"
It
sokaynow"Ipul
l
edbackbutshedi
dn'
t
wanttol
etgo
Tbose:
"Don'
tworr
ygirl
syouaresafenow.
There'
saVitoout
sidet
hatisgoi
ngt ot
akeyou
al
linyourhomessolet'
sgetmoving"
"Notsofast"Sai
dthewomanpoi
ntingagunat
us"Youthinkyouwil
lcomet
omyt err
it
oryand
takeawaymygi r
ls"
Me:
"Theyar
enoty
o..
"sheshotmeont
hear
m
Ev
ery
onescr
eamed.
"
Shut
..
"Ishotheronherf
oreheadshef
all
down
"
Whoi
sZet
hu?
"
"
Me"sai
dagi
rlbyt
hecor
ner
Me:"Yoursist
eriswait
ingf
oryououtsi
delet
's
getgoing"Weall madeourwayoutandsped
offsinceIwaslosingt
oomuchblood
Thando:
"Don'
tdi
edonmepl
ease"shecr
ied
Me:
"Iwontdi
eThando"Igr
oanedi
npai
n
Wear r
ivedatTbose'sUncle'
splaceandhe
att
endedmei mmedi at
elyevent
houghhe
demandedt oknowwhathappened.Thepil
ls
easedthepainIfel
tli
ghtheaded
Tbose'
sUncl
e:"
Tbosewhatt
hehel
lhappened
wherearemyguns!
!"
Tbose:
"We.
.I
..
.uh"hest
utt
ered
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryUncl
eI'
mtheonewho.
.."
Tbose'
sUncl
e:"
Youbet
tersl
eepandrestcoz
whenyouwakeupIwantanexpl
anat
ionfrom
al
lofy
ou!
!!
"Hest
ompedout
Me:
"Ohshi
tI'
m sor
ryguy
s"
Tbose:
"Don'
tworr
yIwi
l
ldeal
wit
hhi
m..
.gi
rl
syou
mustbehungry
"
Thando:
"Yespl
ease"Tboseandhi
sbrot
her
s
walkedoutwi
thZethuandThandol
eavi
ngFez
andPK
PK:
"Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowgetbet
terokay
"
Me:
"Thankyou"Heki
ssedmyfor
eheadand
wal
kedout.Fezcametosi
tonthebed
Fez:
"I
'm sor
ryy
ougotshot
"
Me:"
It
'snotyourfaul
tst
opcry
ingnowand
r
ejoi
ceyoursist
erisback"
Shewi
pedhert
ear
s
Fez:
"HowcanIr
ejoi
cewheny
ouar
eshot
"
Me:
"Thi
sisj
ustascr
atch"
Fez:
"Thanky
ousomuchKat
"Shehuggedme
Me:
"Ouuuhh"
Fez:
"I
'm sorr
yI'
m sor
ry"shel
ookedatmeasi
f
shewantt osaysomethi
ng
Me:
"What
?"
Fez:
"Um not
hing"
Me:
"Comeont
alkt
ome"
Fez:
"Hav
eyout
houghtwher
ewi
l
lyouguy
sgo?
"
Me:
"YeahJozi
bur
g"
Fez:
"Dowehav
etol
eav
e?"
Me:"
Whatdoyoumeannowy
ouknowourl
i
ves
ar
enotsaf
ehere"
Fez:
"Iknowwhydon'
tyouguy
scomewi
thust
o
Paul
piter
sbur
g"
Me:
"Jobsar
escar
ceatDumbeunl
i
keJozi
"
Fez:
"Buty
ougotmoney
"
Me:
"I
twon'
tl
astusf
ort
her
estofourl
i
ves"
Fez:
"Soy
ouar
eleav
ingme"
Me:
"NoI
'
m notFezy
ouwi
l
lvi
situsnj
e"
Fez:
"Youpr
omi semethaty
ouwon'tl
eav
eme"
hereyesgl
i
stenedwit
htear
s"Pl
easecomewi
th
us"
Me:
"Fezcomeon"
Fez:"
Iknew!Iknewit!y ouwi l
ll
eavemej ustl
ike
anyoneelse!Ihateyou!Ihat eyou!Ihateyou
thatyoumademebel ievey ouwon'tleaveme!!I
hateyou!!"sheranout .Katwenzeni?
[
05/
31,
20:
04]W:
23
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwaswokenupbyt
heur
gentneedt
opee.
Igotuphurt
ingmy sel
fintheprocessasIf
orgot
thatmyhandisinj
ured.Iwincedinpai
nand
mademywayt othebathroom whichIwas
showedbyTbosel astni
ght.
Ipul
l
eddownmyj
eansandpant
ieswhi
chwas
ki
ndaastr
ugglesinceIwasusi
ngmyonehand
moreov
eri
tsthelefthand.
I
'
m notusedt
odot
hingswi
thmyl
efthand.
Isquatt
edontheseatanddi dnumber1t
henI
gotupandwipedmy sel
fbeforepul
l
ingmy
panti
esandmyj eans.Iwashedmyhandsaft
er
fl
ushi
ngthet
oilet.
Thearomaofbaconfi
l
ledmynost
ri
lsasI
foll
owedt
hedir
ecti
onwher
eitwascoming
from.
Myst
omachgr
owl
edi
nst
ant
aneousl
y.
"Hello"saidTbose'sUncl
e'swif
ewithawide
smilepl aster
edonherface.Sheissucha
beaut i
ful l
adywit
hbrowney esandblackwr
ath
ont hesi deofherupperl
ipwhichsui
tedher
caramel ski
n.
Me:
"Hel
l
oSi
s"
Her
:"
Howdi
dyousl
eep"
Me:
"Ver
ywel
landy
ou?
"
Her
:"
Samet
omehowi
syourar
m"
Me:
"I
tspai
nful
"
Her:
"Iwi
lldi
shupforyousothaty
oucant
ake
yourpi
ll
s"shesai
dtakingoutapl
ate
Me:
"I
fyoudon'
tmi
ndsi
scanIhav
eabat
hfi
rst
"
Her:
"Ohy
esmydearcome"Sheledmeto
anot
herbat
hroom "
Iwi
l
lgetf
reshtowel
sfor
you"
Me:"Thanky ou"shedisappearedasIr
unabath
formy sel
f.Iunclot
hedmaki ngsuret
hatIdon'
t
hurtmy sel
fagain.Shecamebackwi thtowel
s
Her
:"
Youdon'
twantmet
ohel
pyou"Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Nosi
sImf
inet
hanky
ouf
ory
ourconcer
n"
Her:
"Okaywhenyouaredonecomeandhav
e
br
eakfastsot
hatyoucanhavepi
ll
s"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Shesmi
l
edandwal
kedout
.
Ij
umpedi
nthebat
htubandwashedmy
sel
f.
Jesusi
ttookmef
orev
ert
ofi
nishwi
th
ev
ery
thi
ng.
Iwenttothedini
ngr
oom wher
eev
ery
onewas
al
readygather
edbythet
abl
e.
Me:
"Mor
ningev
ery
one"
"
Mor
ning"Theyal
lchant
edexceptFez.
Thando:
"Howisyourarm"shesai
dst
andi
ngup
andpull
edoutachairf
orme.
Me:"
It
spainf
ulbutIwi
l
lbefi
nedontworry
"I
sai
dasIsatdownonthechai
rthenshesat
downtoo.
Tbosedishedupf
ormeandgav
ememyf
ood
"Thanky
ou"
Uncle:
"WellTboseandItalkedandhet oldme
everyt
hing.Youareav er
ybravey oungl adyKat
andI'm soproudofwhaty ouall
di dforsav i
ng
thegirl
showev eryoushouldhavet ol
dmeandI
hateitthatyoutookmygunswi thoutmy
knowledge."
Me:
"I
'm sosor
ryUncl
e"
Uncl
e:"What
'sdonei
sdoneIhopenextti
mey ou
wil
ltel
lmewheny ouneedhel
pIwon'thesi
tat
e
tohelpyou"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lkeept
hati
nmi
ndt
hanky
ousomuch"
Uncl
e:"
Youar
ewel
come"
Wecont
inueeati
ngoverali
ghtconversat
ion
whi
l
eFez'seyeswer
epierci
ngthroughme.
Idontunder
standwhysheisbei
ngl
i
ket
hismos
shecancomeandv i
situs.
FezandThandooffer
edtowashthedishesand
thewif
edi
dn'thav
eapr obl
em wi
ththat.
Tbose:
"Her
e"It
ookthepi
ll
sandt
hrewt
hem i
n
mymout ht
hendri
nkwater
.
Me:"Thanky ou"wewer eintheloungewatchi
ng
someTV." ThankyouTbosef orhelpi
ngmewi t
h
yourbrotherswithoutyouguysthatmissi
on
wouldhav ebeeni mpossibl
e"
Tbose:
"Any
thi
ngf
ormynt
wana"
Me:"
Youshouldgi
vemeyouraccount
number
..
."hecutmeof
f
Tbose:
"Heywedon'
twantt
obepai
dwewer
e
hel
pingafri
end"
Me:
"ButI
..
"
Tbose:
"Ther
e'snobutandbesi
desy
ouneed
thatmoney"
Me:
"Butj
ustt
osayt
hanky
ou"
Tbose:
"Don'tworr
ympint
shiyamitheonl
yway
youwil
lthankmei st
otakecareofyour
sel
fand
yoursi
sterokay?"
Me:
"yeah"Ismi
l
ed
Tbose:
"Wher
eyouguy
sar
egoi
ng"
Me:
"Kwandongazi
yaduma"(
Johannesbur
g)
Tbose:
"Gr
eatchoi
ceandl
i
fet
her
eisbet
tert
hen
her
e"
Me:
"YeahIwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou"
Tbose:
"Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
out
ooman.Wheny
oumake
f
ri
endsther
epl
easemakesur
ethatt
heyknow.
t
here'
sTbosef
ir
stbef
oret
hem"Igi
ggled
Me:"Ofcoursemanwenay oumyr i
deordie.
WhenIgetmar ri
edonedayy ouwil
lbemybest
man"Hel aughedl
iker
eal
lylaughedunt
ilI
j
oinedhim.
Tbose:"
Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ourcr
azyass"hesai
d
l
aughing
Me:"
Nowenoughwi
thl
aughi
ngIwanta
ci
garet
te"
Tbose:"
YazIdon'
tunder
standwhyar
eyou
suddenl
ysmokingKat"
Me:
"Nei
therdoI
,Icr
avei
tfori
tsobadt
hati
t
makemecr y
"
TBose:
"I
fit
'snotci
gar
ett
eit
'ssandsomet
hing
i
snotri
ghtwithyou.
"
Me:
"Dontpl
ayDrwi
thmewena"
Tbose:
"Butontheser
iousnoteKaty
ouneedto
seeadoctoryoucan'
tjusthav
eweir
dcr
avings
j
ustf
orf
un"
Me:
"Yeahy
eahy
eahnowgi
vemet
heci
gar
ett
e"
Tbose:"
Come"West
oodupandwentt
ohi
s
bedroom
Hel
i
ghtt
heci
gar
ett
eandgav
eitt
ome
Me:"
Sure"Hel
ightanot
heronef
orhi
mselfwe
bot
hsmokedandchat t
ingi
ngener
al.Wehear
d
aknockonthedoor
Tbose:"
Comei n"PKwalkedinhelooked
gorgeousinadeseal
jeanandwhi t
epologol
fer
wit
hwhi t
elecoqspor
tifsneaker
s.
PK:
"Heyguy
s"
Us:
"Hey
"Hesatdownnextt
omeandf
rowned
PK:
"Youar
esmoki
ng"
Me:"
Awndodawabuzai
bhasi
ibhal
i
we"(
Youar
e
aski
ngt
heobvi
ous)
PK:
"Howi
syourar
m"
Me:
"Notbad"
PK:"
Icametopicky
ouguysupwehav et
ogot
o
thehospi
tal
rememberandopenabank
accountf
oryou"
Me:
"Ohy
es.
.di
dyouf
indaf
latf
orust
orent
"
PK:"
Itol
dmybr ot
hertol
ookforanapart
ment
si
ncehei st
hatsi
deitwi
llbeeasyhesai
dhe
wil
lcall
me"
Me:
"Iwantanaf
for
dabl
eone"
PK:
"Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hatIwi
l
ltakecar
eofi
t"
Me:
"NonoIwi
l
ldot
hatmy
sel
fthanky
ou"
PK:
"Iwantt
odoi
t"
Me: "
IsaidI
'
mfi
nePKwearenotsomechari
ty
caseIknowhowtot
akecar
eofsist
erand
my self
."
PK:
"Ididn'
tsayy
ouar
eachar
it
ycaseIwasj
ust
hel
ping"
Me:
"Wel
lthent
hanksbutnot
hanks"
Hehuf
fed
PK:
"Shal
lwego"
Me:
"Sur
e"
WewentoutFezandThandoweref
ini
shedwe
bi
df ar
ewell
toev
ery
oneanddrov
etothe
hospit
al.
Zethur
ant
ohermom t
hemomentwewal
kedi
n
herwar
d
Zet
hu:
"Mama"
Her:
"Ohmybaby
"Theyhugged"Whendi
dyou
comeback?Howar
ey ou?Wherewer
eyou?"
tear
srol
l
eddownonherpalef
ace
Zet
hu:
"Si
sKatandherf
ri
endsr
escuedme
Mama"
Her
:"
Whoi
sKat"
Zet
hu:
"Thi
soneMama"shepoi
ntedatme
Zet
hui
sThando'
sage
Her:
"OhthankyousomuchsismayGodbless
you.It
houghtIwil
lnev
erseeheragai
n"
Me:
"I
tsokayMama"
Zethu:
"Thi
sishersi
sterThandowhoIwasal
so
abductedwit
handthisisbutiPK"
Her:
"Thanky ousomuchbant
wananami
"(
My
chi
l
dr en)shecri
ed
Me:"
It
'sokayMama.Wehavesomethi
ngtoask
youIdon'
tknowi
fitwi
l
lsi
twellwi
thyou"
Her
:"
Whati
sitmychi
l
dren"
Me:"Thepersont hatt ookthegi r
lsMamai s
fr
iendswiththepol i
ceandmanypeopl esoour
l
ivesherearenotsaf e.Sowewer ethi
nkinghow
aboutyouanddaught ersgost aywit
hyour
si
steratl
eastforfewmont hs.Youdon'thaveto
worryaboutanythingwewi l
ltakecareofit
."
Her
:"
Ohokaynoprobl
em mychi
l
drenasl
ongas
mychil
drenar
esaf
e"
Me:
"Thanky
ouMama"
Her
:"
Youlookf
amili
ar"shelookedatme
meti
cul
ousl
y"Whatisyoursurname?"
Me:
"Mhl
ongo"
Her:
"Mmmhayokaysi
smay
beukuf
ana
kwabant
u"
Me:
"WhodoIl
ookl
i
keMama?
"
Her:
"Ahnevermindchil
d.Ngibongi
l
ekakhul
u
bantwanabami"(Thankyousomuchmy
chi
ldren)
Me:"
Kubongat
hinaMa"(
Thanky
ouMama)
"
Fezcanwetal
k"
Fez:
"No!
"Isi
ghedheav
il
y
Me:
"St
aywel
lMa"
Wewentoutl
eav
ingt
hedaught
erswi
tht
hei
r
mom.
Wedrov
ehomef
ir
stt
ochangebef
orewewent
t
othemall
.
Thando:
"Sowhataboutussi
swher
ear
ewe
movingto"
Me:
"Johnesbur
g"
Thando:
"Youl
i
e!"shebeamed
sheal
wayswi
shtogotoJohannesburgsome
dayandnowt
hatdayhadf
inal
lyarr
ived
Me:
"I
mtel
l
ingy
ou.
"
Thando"
Thi
sisawsome"
Me:
"Cany
oupleasepul
lof
fatt
hegar
ageIwant
t
obuyacigar
ett
e"
PK:
"I
'm notgonnadot
hat
.Gi
rl
sdon'
tsmoke"
Me:
"Ehwhot
hef
uckar
eyout
otel
lmet
hat
"
PK:
"Don'
tgett
omyner vesKat.Smokingwi
l
l
damageyourl
ungsIdon'tunder
standwhyyou
wantt
ocauseyoursel
fharm"
Me:
"I
'm notaheav
ysmokerIj
ustcr
avef
ori
t"
PK:
"I
m notal
l
owi
ngy
out
osmokeev
er!
"
Me:
"Whot
hehel
lar
eyou?Ar
eyoumyf
ather
!"
Heignoredme"Youknowwhatst
opthecar"He
di
dn'tst
opthecar"
Isai
dst
opthefucki
ngcar
andletusout
!"
PK:
"Whyar
eyousost
ubbor
nwoman!I
'
m not
st
oppi
nganycar
!!
"
Me:
"Fucky
ouPK!
"
PK:
"Fucky
out
ooKathawu!
!"
Thando:
"Wil
lyoutwost
opf
ight
ingy
ouwi
l
l
causeanaccident
!"
Me:
"I
tshi
m Thando.
.."shecutmeof
f
Thando:"
Noitsyousi s.Youar
eacti
ngst
range
l
atelyyouar
ef or
evert i
red,
smoki
ngandeati
ng
sand.Idon'
tunderstandwhycozyouhave
neverdonethi
sbef ore"
PK:
"Yousee!
"
Me:
"Fuseg!
"(Fucky
ou!
)
Wear r
ivedatmallandopent heaccountthen
wentt owool i
eswher eheaskedust otake
anythingwewantbutIr ef
used.Mysisternever
saynot of oodsoshet ookeveryt
hingshe
want edsomeofi tIthinkwasjustwaste.Aft
er
thatwedr oveoff
Thando:
"Youdon'
twantchi
pssi
s"
Me:
"NoI
'
mfi
ne"
Wepull
edof
ftosomebui
l
ding"
Ithoughty
ou
ar
etaki
ngushome"
PK:
"Af
terwesawt
hedoct
orcome"
Me:"
Doct
orf
orwhat
?"Iey
edhi
m wi
thar
aised
br
ow
PK:
"Tochecki
fyouar
eokay
..
..
"
Me:
"I
mfi
ne!
!"
PK:"
Youar enotf i
neyoucan'
tjustcrave
ci
garett
eify ouhaveneversmokebef or
e.
Peopledon'teatsandtheyeatfood!There'
s
def
init
elysomet hi
ngwrongwithy ou"
Me:
"I
'm notgoi
ngany
wher
etakeushome"
PK:
"Damny
ouar
esost
ubbor
nwoman!
"
Thando:
"Sispl
easedoi
tforme.Youhaven'
t
beenwellngampel
a"Il
ookedatherwi
tha
deat
hstareandshegavemeapuppylook
"
Pret
typl
ease"
Me:"
Okayfi
ne!Iwi
ll
remindyouwhatIsai
d
whenthedoct
orsayIhavenot
hing"
Westeppedoutoft
hecarandwenti
nsi
de.We
enqui
redthenwewereusher
edt
othedoct
or.
Doc:
"Goodmor
ning"
Us:
"Mor
ningdoct
or"
Doc:
"Pl
easesi
tdown"Wesatdown"
HowcanI
hel
pyou"
PK:
"Myl
adyher
ehav
ewei
rdcr
avi
ngsandshei
s
al
wayst
ir
ed"
Doc:
"Li
kewhat
?"
PK:
"Ci
gar
ett
eandsand"
Doc:
"Mi
sswhatel
sebesi
def
ati
gue?
"
Me:
"Headachesanddi
zzi
ness"
Doc:
"Okayl
et'
sseei
tswhatIt
hinki
tsi
s"
Hedi
dhi
swor
kandt
oldust
owai
taf
terwhat
fel
tli
keforeverhecall
edusin.Wesatdownon
thechai
rs."MissMhlongohavepi
caitiscaused
byir
ondef i
ciencyanemia"
Me:
"Si
mpl
eEngl
i
shpl
easedoct
or"
Doc:"I
rondefici
encyanemaoccurswheny our
bodydoesn'thaveenoughoft heminerali
ron.
Yourbodyneedi rontomakehemogl obin.When
therei
sn'tenoughironi
ny ourbl
oodstream the
restofyourbodycan'tgettheamountof
oxygenitsneed"
Thando:
"Ohmysoshei
sdy
ingdoct
or?
"
Thedoct
orchuckl
edandshookhi
shead
Doc:
"Nosheisnotdy i
ng.Ir
ondef i
ciencyis
commonandi nwomani t
scausedbyheav y
menstr
uati
on,pregnancyandpoordi et.Si
nce
MissMhlongoispregnantiti
s..
."Icuthim of
f
Me:
"Pr
egnant
?"
Doc:"
YesMi ssyouar
e11weekspr
egnant
congrat
ulat
ions"
Me:"No!"Ifeltl
ikemyheadi sspi nningthev oice
ofthedoct orechoedinmyear s.Igotupand
ranoutmykneeswer ewobbling.Icoul dn'
t
breathi
tlikesomeonewasst ranglingmyl i
fe
outofme.Ibal ancedwithPK' scarunt ilI
couldn'
tandsl i
ddownmybut treacht heground.
YOURARE11WEEKSPREGNANTt hosewor ds
playedinmyear sl
ikeascratchedCD." I'
m not
pregnant!
!"Iscreamedcov eri
ngmyear swith
myhandst earsmakingtheirwaydownmy
cheeks.
"
Kat
"ThatwasPKhecr
ouchbef
oreme"
Hey
"
Il
ookedupathi
m
Me:
"Ican'
tbepr
egnantPKIcan'
t"Isobbed
Thando:
"Doct
orcannev
erl
i
e.Howcoul
dyoube
sostupi
dKat!
"
PK:
"Heydon'
ttal
ktoy
oursi
sterl
i
ket
hat
"
Thando:
"Letalonethatwecan'
taf
fordababy
youarecarr
yingthatbast
ard'
schi
ldurgwhat
wereyouthi
nki
ngKat
.What
'shappenedt
o
pr
otecti
on!
!"
Me:"Weusedprot
ecti
on..
."IpausedwhenI
rememberthedaywefuckedi nthebat
hroom
wedidn'
tuseprot
ecti
on"I'
m sosor r
yThando"I
cri
edPKpulledmeinhisarms
PK:"
Ssshhhitsgoingtobeokay "Iletoutaloud
asobcoznot hi
ngi sgoi
ngt obeokay .Ican't
aff
ordmy sel
fandmysi sterhowcanIaf f
orda
baby.Howcoul dIbesost upi
d.Howwi l
lIrai
se
ababyaloneI'm asti
lly
oungmy selfohGod.
Thando:
"Eystopmaki ngnoisecozit'
snot
gonnachangeanything.Idon'tknowifIshoul
d
beangrythatyouwer ecarel
essorthatyouare
car
ryi
ngthatasshole'
sbaby !!
!"
PK:
"St
opitThandoy
oursi
sterneedsuppor
t
nownoti
nsult
s!"
Thando:"
Sheistheonewhoisal
wayspreachi
ng
Thandoboy sar
ethi
sandthatt
heywil
lleav
e
youpregnantbl
ahblahbutl
ookathernow
umi
thi
!!
!"
Icriedlouderherwordspier
cedt
hroughmy
hear tcoztheyweretr
ue.Iwassupposetobe
anexampl et oherbutl
ookatmeI'm sucha
disappointment.
•
SQALESI
HLE
•
Familymeansev er
ythingandt hat'
swhatIli
ke
aboutVincentf
amilyisev er
ythingtohi
mt oo
butIdon'twanttoli
et oyouIf eltbadwhenhe
cal
ledandsaidHei snotcomi ngany more
becauseKonkeisgoi ngthroughsomest uffshe
i
snotwel l
.
DontgetmewrongIdon'
tsayhemustn'
tcare
abouthi
sdaught
erIwon'
tbethatt
ypi
calst
ep
mom lol
thethi
ngi
sKonkehatemeandIthi
nksheis
doingi
tonpur
pose.Yazi
tssur
pri
singt
hatshe
i
stheonet
hathat
emey
etshet
ookZol
ani
from
me.
Iunderstandthatshedi dn'
tknowthati
swhyI
holdnothingagainsthermar ayenasheis
sabotagi
ngmyr elat
ionshipwit
hherfat
her.
Ifeelsorr
yforhercozI'm st
uckwit
hVinshe
mightaswellthrowherselfi
nadam Idon'
tgiv
e
afuckingdamn!SoIdeci dedtobet
heoneto
vi
sitVinbutIstart
edatAuntyZano'
sPlace.
Aunty
:"Idon'
tknowwhatt
odoshel
ockedup
her
selfinherbedr
oom"
Uncl
e:"
Tal
ktoherSi
hlemay
beshewi
l
ltal
kto
you"
Shametheywerer
eal
l
yworr
iedaboutt
hei
r
daught
erandAunt
ywant
edtocry.
Me:"Okaylet
'smegot al
ktoher "IpatAunty'
s
shoulderandmademywayt oBuhl ebenkosi
'
s
bedroom andknocked.Shedidn'trespondbutI
coul
dhearsnuffl
ingsontheot hersideofthe
bedroom "HeyBi t'
sSihl
epl easeopenup"I
heardshuffl
ingaf t
ersomet imethent hedoor
opened.Shel ookedsoter r
ibl
eherey eswere
swollenherhairwasamessIhadnodoubtshe
haven'thadabat heversinceshelockedher sel
f.
"Hey"shethrewher sel
finmyar msandwai l
ed
l
ikeababy ."
What '
swrongB"shecr iedlouder
andmyhear tbr oketoseeherl i
kethat.
Shewassobr okenandIhavenev
erseenher
l
ikethis.Wewalkedt
othebedandsl
ippedint
o
blankets.
Buhl
e:"
It
sThul
a"
Me:
"Whathav
ehedone"
Buhle:
"Heischeat
ingonmewi t
hKonkecany ou
bel
ievethatbit
ch.Fi
rstshet
ookZolani
from
youandnowI tsThul
a.Whatdoesshewant
fr
om us!"
Me:
"OhnobabeI
m sosor
ry"
Buhl
e:"
Ifoundt
hem i
nourhouseonourbed
fucki
ng!Howdi sr
espect
fuli
sthathuh?Inmy
sheetsSihl
e"shebrokedownmyhear tbroke
forher.
HowcouldThuladothi
syaztheyhavebeen
engagedfor3monthsandhedoesthis."
It
's
hurtIdon'
tknowwhattodoeveryti
meIsee
them f
ucki
ngonmybed.
Howcoul
dhedot
hist
ome?
"
Me:"I
'
m sorrychocolat
ebun"Idi
dn'
tknowwhat
tosayinfactIjustneverknowhowtoconsol
e
people.
Buhle:
"Youknowwhathur tisIst
il
llov
ehi mI
l
ov ehim somuchbutIcan'tdothis.I
'm endi
ng
thi
sit'
sasi gnthathewi
llcheati
nourmar ri
age.
I
t'soverbeforeit
sevenbegan"
Me:
"Dontl
etKonkewi
nBf
ightf
ory
ourman"
Buhl
e:"
Iwon'
tl
etherwi
nbutIdon'
twantThul
a
nomore"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Buhl
e:"
Thul
aandIar eov erandthepai
nful
par
t
wehavebabytogetherbutIwill
teachKonkea
l
essonshewil
lneverforget"Hereyeswere
fi
l
ledwithr
ageanddar kness
Me:
"Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odoB?
"
Buhle:
"I
t'
sbetterify
oudon'tknow.Thatstep
daughterofyourswill
knowwhoi sBuhlenekosi
Mkhizeangidakwainsangumi na"
Me:"
HayiBIdon'
tli
key
ourt
onedon'
tdo
somethi
ngdrast
ic"
Onethi
ngyouhavetoknowaboutBuhl
eshei
s
vi
ndi
cti
veandshedoesn'
tfor
giv
eeasil
y.
Shei
sver
ydanger
ouswhenshewantt
o.
Buhle:
"Shedest
roy
edmymarr
iageSi
hle,she
robbedmybabygirlt
ogr
owupinawar m home
withtwoparent
s"
Me:
"May
beshedi
dn'
tknow"
Buhl
e:"
Hai
bowhi
chsi
dear
eyouon"
Me:"Yoursyouknowthatbutsheisthe
daughterofmymanB.Idon' twanthertobe
hurtcozthatwi
llal
sohurtmyman"
Buhl
e:"
Doy
out
hinkIgi
veaf
uck?"
Me:
"Youar
ebei
ngsel
fi
shnowB"
Buhle:
"Owr
eal
l
ynowy
ouar
esi
dingwi
tht
hat
bi
tch!"
Me:"Ofcoursenotbutrevengeisnotgood
chocolat
ebuni tcanal
sodest r
oyyou.Whyyou
wanttopuni shheronl
yThul ai
stheonethati
s
commi tt
edtoy ounotKonkeheshouldhave
knownbet t
er"
Buhle:"
Heisthefat
herofmybabyIcan't
destroyhi
m asmuchasIwanttorightnow.I
swearifwedidnthaveachi
l
dtogether
ebezongazikahl
e"
Me:
"Youar
escar
ingmeB"
Buhl
e:"
Don'
tbescar
ednana"
Me:
"Don'
tdoi
tpl
easej
ustwal
kaway
"
Buhle:"
Iseewhichsideyouareonnowandi t
s
goodt oknowsot hatIwon'
tfoolmysel
f
thi
nkingyougotmybackkant iyouareasnake.
Youchoosestrangersoverfamil
y"
Me:"Youarebeingunfai
rri
ghtnow
Buhlebenkosi
!Youaremyf amil
yasmuchas
Vincenti
smyf amil
ywhichmeansVincent
's
familyi
smyf amil
y"
Buhle:
"Becl
earwhichsideareyouonsoIcan
giveMalumeandMal umekaziaringandt
ell
them t
hatyouaresti
llseei
ngVincent
"
Me:
"Youar
ebei
ngabi
tchnow!
"
Buhl
e:"
Isn'
tthewor
ldbi
tchynowchoose"
Me:
"Fucky
ou!
"
Ir
oll
edoutofbedandmademywayoutf
umi
ng
wi
thanger
.Howcouldshe?
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Ihavetri
edtogivepeopl
emyl oveandchances
overchancesbutwhatdidt
heydo?Theytore
meapar tandl
eftmeheartbrokenandempty.
Inolongerbeli
eveintruelovei
nthi
swor l
dits
onl
yexistedinancientdays.Ourgr
andparent
s's
par
entswer ethelastpeoplewhoknewtrue
meaningofTRUELOVE.
Nowpeopl enolongerval
uethewordLOVEt hey
useitt
ogai nwhattheywant
.it
sclear
lythat
'
s
Thul
awant edtousemeanddi tchmelikea
usedtoi
letpaper.
Ican'
tbeli
eveIwasstupi
dtofal
lforhi
schar
ms
theguyisengagedandhaveadaughter
.
Ibeli
ev edallt
heli
eshet oldmeandsomehowI
thoughthewasgenui ne.Tothi
nkmom t ol
dme
andII gnoredherhur
tscozIwouldntbehear t
brokenr i
ghtnow.Youknowwhatev enwor eis
thatthefiancéei
sSihle'
scousi
ntheywillj
ust
thi
nkI '
m alwaysaft
ertheirmenIswearIdidn'
t
know.
I'
m donewi
thmannowIwil
lfocusonmycareer
andmybaby.Yesy
oureadt
hatrightMYBABY.
Mypar
ent
s'spassi
ngmademereal
i
zehowl
uck
wasIt
ohavethem i
nmyli
fe.
Imver ygr
atefulf
orthe25y earsofmyl i
feI
spentwiththem.Theirlect
ures,screams,sl
aps,
punishment,hugs,ki
ssesmademet hewoman
Iam todayandIwantt opassest hattomychild.
He/shedi
dn'tdoanythingwrong,
he/sheis
i
nnocentshe/heshouldn'
tbepunishedt
ofor
hi
s/herf
ather'
swrongdoi ngs
I
'm goi
ngtot
akecar
eofherorhi
m andgi
ve
hi
m/ hert
hel
ovemom anddadgaveme.
Iwi
ll
prot
ecthim/herandalwaysbet
her
efor
hi
m/herwhenevershe/heneedme.
Mal
umeUncl e:
"Youneedt
oeatyoucan'
tstar
ve
mygrandchi
l
dbecauseofthatst
upi
dboy."
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Youwantmet
oshoothi
sbal
l
s"
Me:"Nahmaybei
fhewasn'
tSi
hle'
scousi
n'
s
f
iancéeIwoul
dsaydoi
t"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
HawkodwaKonke"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tknowDaddyIswear
"
MalumeUncl e:
"Ialr
eadydon'
tl
ikeitthatyou
twoarenotgettingalongcozyouguy sar
e
mostimportantpeopleinmyli
feafterthi
sitwi
l
l
beverydi
ff
icult
"
Me:
"Inev
ermeantanyhar
m"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Eisht
hisi
smessedupnow"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry.
..
Wheni
sSi
hlecomi
ng"
MalumeUncle:
"Todayherfami
lydoesn'
tl
ike
theideaofust
othepointt
hatherf
atheri
s
play
ingdir
tnow"
Me:"I
t'
smustbehar dont
hem evenIi
tshardt
o
acceptthatmystepmom i
s2y ear
syounger
thenmer eal
lydaddy
"
MalumeUncle:
"Il
ovehery
ouhavetorespect
that
.Ify
oucareaboutmeyoushoul
daccept
herandtryt
ogetalongwi
thher
."
Hi
swassosincer
eyazIthoughthewasjust
f
ooli
ngar
oundwithSi
hlesurel
yIwaswrong.
Me:
"Your
eal
l
ylov
eher
?"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"Shei
smywor
ld"
Me:
"Thenpl
aydi
rt
ytoo"
MalumeUncl
e:"Idon'twantt
hatKonkeitwi
ll
causebadbl
oodbet weenusIwantthem to
acceptmeastheirsoninlawwarmly"
Me:"Makehim seet
her
easonwhyhehav
eto
acceptyou"
MalumeUncl
e:"
Iwi
llseewhatIwill
doIhat
eto
sneakar
oundl
ikeI
'
m at eenager
"
Me:"
Thatcomeswit
hdati
ngay
ounggi
rl
khet
hil
ekhet
hil
ebaba"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Sewy
aqi
nakemanj
e"Hepoke
meIgi
ggl
ed
"Hownice"WelookedupatMvel
o"Fat
herand
daught
erhavi
ngabondsession"
Myhear
tski
ppedabi
t
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Heyson"
Mv
elo:
"Don'
tyouf
uckendar
ecal
lmey
ourson!
!"
Me:
"Mv
e..
"
Mvel
o:"
Whenwereyougonnat
ell
meKonke
t
hatheisy
ourf
ather
!!
"
Me:
"I
tswasnotmypl
acet
otel
lyou"
Mv el
o:"
Don'tyoufuckendaretellmethatshi
tI
thoughtwear ebrot
herandsisterweshare
anythi
ng!Youshouldhav etol
dmet hatmom
sleptwit
hthisasshole!
..
."
Mal
umeUncl
est
oodup
MalumeUncl
e:"
Heyheyboyyoudon'
tcomet
o
myhouseandinsul
tmeIwil
lfucky
ouupso
bad!
!"
Mvel
o:"
Youarethereasonwhydadki
l
lMama
andhi
mselfi
t'
sclearnow!"
Me:
"Mv
elopl
easecal
m down!
"
Mvel
o:"
Don'
ttel
lmetocalm downwhi
l
eI'
m an
or
phanbecauseoft
hisbast
ard!
!"
Mal
umeUnclepunchedMv
elosendi
nghi
m
r
eel
i
ngbackward
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
I'
m noty
ourfr
iendyoumor on!
"
hemar
chedt
ohim andthr
ewanotherpunch
Me:
"Dadpl
easest
opi
t"
Mv
elospatbl
oodandl
ookedatme
Mv
elo:
"YouandIar
edonesal
anobabakho!
!"
Ist
oodup
Me:
"Mv
elopl
easeI
'
m sor
ry"
Ihel
dhi
shandhey ankeditof
f"Mv el
oyouar
e
mybrot
her..
."HewalkedawaybeforeIev
en
sai
danyt
hing"Didy
ouhadt opunchhim!"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Iyadel
elal
ent
wana!
"(Thatboy
i
srude!
)
Me:
"LooknowIhav
elosthi
m"
MalumeUncl
e:"
Hei
saspoi
l
edbr
aty
oudon'
t
needhi
m"
Me:"
Howcany
ousayt
hishei
smyonl
y
br
other
!"
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme"
Me:"
You.
..
"IsatdownasIf
eltpai
nandhel
dmy
st
omach
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Whati
sit
?"
Icouldn'
trespondbutgr oanedi npain.He
pickedmeandr ushedmet othehospital.Iwas
i
nsomuchpai nandIwasget ti
ngweakerand
weakerIcoul dhearhim sayinghangint here
thentherewasunf amili
arvoicesayingt hey
hav etot
akeoutt hebaby .Howi st
hatpossi ble
I'
m onlysixmont hpregnant.Thethoughtal one
kil
ledmeIbl ackedout.
.
.
Thanksf
orreadi
ngmybabydon'
tfor
gett
oli
ke,
commentandshare
[
05/
31,
20:
05]W:
24
KUHLEKONKE
•
"
Sheshoul
dwakeupanymomentf
rom now"
"
Okayt
hanky
oudoct
or"
Icouldheart
hevoicest
alki
ngf
rom adi
stance
butthesecondonesoundedsofami
li
ar.
Iopenedmyheav yeyesandl ookedar oundI
wasint hehospitalIrecal
ltheeventsandmy
handsautomaticall
ywentt omyst omachi t
wasflatMYBABYIscr eamedhy st
ericall
ywhen
Irememberedthatt heywant edtotakemybaby
out.
Me:"
Iwantmybaby
?Wher
eisbabyMal
ume
Uncl
e"
Hegotupf
rom t
hechai
randembr
acedme
MalumeUncl
e:"
Sshhcal
m downy
ouwi
l
lhur
t
yoursel
f"
Me:
"Uphi
umt
anami
Daddy
!"Icr
ied
MalumeUncl
e:"
Konkecal
m downyourbabyi
s
fi
neIwi
ll
takeyoutohi
m butyouneedt
ocalm
downbef
oreyouhurty
oursel
f"
Me:
"Yousai
dhi
m?"
MalumeUncle:"
Yesitababyboytheyhadt
o
operat
eyouyourhighbl
oodpressurewast
oo
hi
gh.HeisinICN"
OhGod
Me:
"Iwantt
oseehi
m"
MalumeUncl e:
"Come"Hehel
pedmeupwe
wenttotheIntensi
veCar
eNurser
y."
Her
eis
Mkhulu'
sbigboy "
Hei
ssot i
ny,
malnour
ishedandpinki
shlyi
ngi
n
ani
ncubat
orwit
htonsofpipesconnect
edto
hi
m.
Hissi
ghtbrokemeIfel
tmywholebody
shi
ver
ingtearsaut
omati
cal
l
yst
reameddown
myface.
Icoul
dn'
tstandmykneeswer
ewobbl
i
ngdad
hel
dmei nhisar
ms
Me:
"Hei
ssot
iny
"Icr
ied
Mal
umeUncle:
"Don'
tcr
yhewi
l
lbeal
ri
ghthei
s
ast
rongl
i
ttl
eboy"
Me:"I
tsal
lmyfaultdaddyIdi
dn'twanthimI
nevercar
edabouthimt oapoi
ntthatIwanted
tosendhimtohisgrandpar
ents"Isobbed
MalumeUncl e:
"Youwereangryathi
sfat
her
sweethearti
t'
snotyourfaul
tdon'
tbehar
don
yoursel
f"
Me:"
Buthedidn'
tdoanyt
hingwrong"Iletouta
l
oudsob"I'
mt heonewhoshouldbepuni shed
nothi
m heissuchababyhedoesn'tdeserveto
belyi
ngher
ewi t
hallt
hemachinesconnect ed
t
ohi
m"
MalumeUncl e:"Youhav ebeent hroughal ot
Konkey ourpregnancywasboundt ohav e
complicati
onsbutt hroughal lofthatherehei s
ali
ve.Weshoul dbegr atefulthathealiveand
fi
ghti
ngf orhi
sl i
fe.Stopcr y
ingnowy ouneedt o
bestrongforhi m okay"Inoddedhewi pedmy
tear
s" Comecl oserdon'tyouwantt ohol dhis
hand"Iwalkedcl oserandopent heli
ttl
ewi ndow
thenholdhistinypalehand
Me:"Heybabyboyi t
'smommyI '
m sorryInev er
want edy ouIwasangr yandt ookoutmyanger
ony oumyboyIl oveyouandIwanty ouplease
fi
ghtmyl itt
lenigga.Fi
ghtformommyI '
m
beggi ngy ou"Isobbed"Iclosedmyey es"Dear
LordIcomebef oreyouont hi
sdayIwantt o
apologi seforbeingabadmom pl easedon' t
takehi m awayf rom mehei smyonl ysour ceof
happi nessnow.Sendy ourangel
st oheal him
andgi vehi m st
rengthAmen. "
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Amen"Iopenedmyey
es
Me:
"Si
bongai
mpi
l
o"
Mal
umeUncl
e""
Yeahwear
ever
ygr
atef
ult
hat
hei
sal
i
ve"
Me:
"Sbongi
mpi
l
oZwane"
MalumeUncle:
"Beaut
if
ulname"Il
aidmyhead
onhisshoul
deraswegazedatmyboy .
Awhil
elat
erwewentt
omywar
dhehel
pme
goti
nbed.
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngher
ewi
thme"
MalumeUncle:"
It
'smyjobbaby
"Sihl
ewalkedi
n
shelookedbeauti
ful
inhermat
erni
tydr
ess.
Si
hle:
"Icameasf
astasIcoul
d"
MalumeUnclest
oodupandt
heyhuggedbef
ore
shari
ngabr
iefki
ss
Mal
umeUncl
e:"
Thanky
ousomuchf
orcomi
ng"
Sihl
ewalkedt
omeandhuggedmeIcoul
dsee
thatshedi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osayandIwoul
dn'
t
knowtoowhatt
osayt
osomeonewhogav
e
bir
tht
oapreemie.
Sihl
e:"
Heisgoingtobeokay"Il
etoutnewf
resh
tear
s"Ssshhh"Shepull
edbackandsatonmy
bed"Ain'
tyouhungry
?"
Me:
"No.
"
Thewasawkwar
dsi
l
enceunt
ilIbr
okei
t
"I
'm sor
rySihleaboutZolaniIdidn'
tknowas
muchIdi dn'tknowaboutThul a.Hewasmy
ther
apistthenwegetal ongv erywel
l.Heplayed
met oohepr omi semethewor l
dIdi
dn'tknow
heisengaged.Pl easeapologisetoyourcousin
forme"
Si
hle:
"Umhokay
"
Wecont inuedandtal
kedingeneralt
henthey
l
ef tpr
omi si
ngtocomelater.If
all
asl
eepafter
stari
ngintospace.Iwaswokenupbymyphone
ri
ngingont hetabl
edrawer.Ist
ret
chedandtook
i
t
Me:
"Kuhl
ekonkeZwaneHel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
HeyKonkehowar
eyou?
"
Me:
"I
'm goodhowar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
mfi
nedoy
ouhearwhoar
eyouspeaki
ng
t
o?"
Me:
"Notr
eal
l
y"
Hi
m:"
It
sInamandl
a"
Me:
"Ohokay
"
Him:"I
m comingfrom Mv el
o'
sapartmenthe
tookallhi
sbelongingandleft
.Heleftmea
messaget hatheisleav
ingtooverseasf
orgood
doy ouperhapsknewaboutt hat
?"
Me:
"OhmyGodr
eal
l
y?"
Hi
m:"
Yeshet
oldy
ouhewi
l
lleav
e?"
Me:
"Nowehadanar
gument
"
Him:"
Ohthatpret
tysadt
hathelef
twit
hout
sayi
nggoodbye"Idr
oppedthecal
landcr
ied.
Whyam Il
osi
ngev eryoneclosetome.Ift
hey
ar
enotdyi
ngonmet heyleavingme.Isi
tme
am It
heonethati
spushi ngpeopleawayfr
om
meorIdon'
tdeservetohav epeoplei
nmyl i
fe?
"
Hey
"Il
ookedupwi
thmyt
ear
yey
esWTF
Me:
"Whatt
hef
uckar
eyoudoi
ngher
e!"
Thul
a:"
BabyI
'
m sor
ryI
..
."
Me:"
Don'tf
uckingdar
ebabyme.
.howdi
dyou
knowI'
m here?"
Thula:"
It
'sdoesn'tmatterIwantt oapol ogise
sthandwasami .I'
mr eall
ysor r
yIdi dn'tmeant o
hurtyou.Idon'twanttol i
eatf i
rstItwasj ust
l
ustbutasIgott oknowy ouIf alli
nl ov ewi t
h
youdeeperanddeeper .Youar eallIthinkabout
mybabyandal lIwantnot hingelse.Meet ing
youwast hebestthi
ngt hateverhappenedi n
myl i
fe.Thanky ouformaki ngmer ealizet hatI
wasaboutt omaket hebiggestmi stakeofmy
l
ife"
Me:
"Leav
eThul
aIdon'
twantt
oseey
ouagai
n!!
"
Heknel
tandt
ookoutasmal
lboxf
li
ppl
i
ngi
t
open
Thula:"
Iwrongedy ouIknowbutIwil
lbemaking
ahugemi stakeifIletyouwal
koutofmyl i
fe.
KuhlekonkeZwanewi l
lyoumakemet he
happiestmanint hewor l
dandmarr
yme"
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Nomat terhowdiffi
cultt
hingsusedt obeI
nevergaveupIhadhopet hatonedayt hi
ngs
wil
lbebet t
erIwil
lbelivi
ngt hedream.I'
d
i
magi nehavingmyownshowl i
keSomi zi
,Li
vi
ng
thedream withKhethokuhle.
Ithinkthathelpedmeal otcozIwouldhave
commi tt
edsuicidel
ongtimeago.Everybad
si
tuationuset omakemel ookt
hingsonthe
brightersidebutnowIfoundithardtothi
nk
posi
ti
ve.
I'
m onl y20yearsoldIal r
eadyhav eali
ttl
e
sisterwhom Itakecareofi tsalreadyhardhow
canIt akecareofbaby ,asmallbaby .WhatdoI
knowaboutbabi es?Thisissomemessedup
shitjustwhenIthinkthingswillbeal i
tt
lebetter
Imeanwehav emoneyt hatisgoi ngtolastus
formont hswhichwi l
lgivemeenought imet o
l
ookf orajobbutnowI m pregnantandt hisisa
l
ifechangingsituati
on.I'
m goingt obea
mommyOhGodcani tbeadr eam please.
PK:"
Getup"Hepull
edmeupf ormthegr
ound
andpressedmeagainsthi
schest"
It
sgoi
ngto
beokaydon'tcr
y"
Canhest
opsay
ingt
hatcoznot
hingwi
l
lbe
al
ri
ght
!
Hepul
l
edbackandwipedmytear
swi
thhi
s
t
humbsandpl
antedawetki
ssonmyfor
ehead.
Thando:
"Canyoupleaseunl
ockt
hecarIwantt
o
geti
nIcan'tbebur
ntbyasunbecauseof
someonewhoopenherlegswil
l
ingl
yknowi
ng
exact
lywhatwi
l
lhappennext
."
PK:"I
fyoudon' thaveanythi
ngsupporti
v eor
posit
ivetosayj ustshutyourfucki
ngmout h!
Yoursisterdoesn'tneedallofthi
ssheneed
yoursuppor t
.Sheal mostdiedforyouandt hi
s
howy out hankher?Stopbei nganungratef
ul
l
itt
leslutandshowsomesuppor t!
"
Thando:
"Thedoorpl
ease"shesai
dwi
that
ti
tude
PKunlockedthecarandopenedthedoorfor
meIst eppedi
ncar ef
ult
henheclosedi
tand
wenttohisseat.Thandowasal
readyseat
edat
thebackseat.
It
ri
edtobuckl
eupbuti
twasami
ssi
on
i
mpossibl
ewit
hmyonehand
PK:
"Letmehel
pyouwi
tht
hat
"
Me:
"NoI
'
mfi
ne"
PK:
"Kat
..
"
Me:
"Isai
dI'
mfi
nedammi
t!
!"Hei
gnor
edmeand
buckledmeupIhuf
fed.Hebuckl
edupt
ooand
star
tedtheengi
net
hanwedroveoff
.
Iwasstar
ingatt
hewi ndowt ear
sf l
oodi
ngdown
myface.Wheret
of rom her
e?Ifeltasqueez
e
onmyt hi
ghandlookedathim hegav eme"I
t's
goi
ngtobeokay"lookIsmiledfaintl
yandwiped
mytears.
"
PleasecanIbuyaci
gar
ett
eI'
m beggi
ng"
PK:
"Noy
oucan'tsmokewhi
l
epr
egnantt
hatwi
l
l
har
mthebaby
"
Me:"Buti
t'
sthebabyt
hatwanti
twhatam I
supposetodo"
PK: "
It
snotthebabythatwantci
garet
teit
sthe
conditi
onyouhave.Thedoct
orsaidImust
bringyout
omor r
owhehav etodosomeot her
testandgi
v ey
ouironsuppl
ementstotake."
Me:
"Okay
"
Hepul
l
eduptotheenginegar
ageandwentout
t
henhecamebackwithtwosteer
sicecr
eam.
PK:
"Thi
sisy
our
s"Hegav
eThandot
hei
ce
cr
eam
Thando:
"Thanks"
PK:
"Andt
hisi
syour
s"
Me:
"Idon'
twanti
cecr
eam Iwantci
gar
ett
e"
PK:"
Youneedtotryandcont
rol
yourcrav
ings
fort
hesakeofyourheal
thandbabyKattake
thi
splease"
Me:
"Isai
dIdon'
twantanI
cecr
eam!
"
PK:
"Pret
typleaseKi
tKat
"hepoutedli
keababy
asIannoyedasIwashelookedcuteItookt
he
i
cecream
"
Thanky
ouKi
tKat
"
Me:
"Ki
tKathuh?
"
PK:
"YeahmyKi
tKat
"
Me:"Yeahr
ight
"Hestar
tedt hecart
henwe
drovetohi
splace.Wearr
ivedandwalkedi
nsi
de
thehouse
PK:
"Feel
athomegi
rl
s"
Me:
"TakeushomeIwantt
osl
eep"
PK:"Youcanwat chTVThando."Hepickedme
upbr i
dalstyl
eandwal kedwit
hmet ohi s
bedroom wher eheplacedmegent l
yonhi sbed
thenhet ookoffmyshoes.Hecr awlednextto
mel yi
ngwi t
hhi ssidef
acingmewhi l
eIwas
faci
ngt heceil
ing"Youwannatalkaboutit"
Me:
"Notr
eal
l
y"
PK:
"Mhhewasabast
ardneh"
Me:
"Youar
epushi
ngi
t"
PK:
"I
'm sor
ry"heproppedhi
sheadwi
thhi
s
el
bowandandl ookedatme
Me:
"Whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngatdude"
PK:
"Youar
esobeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
PK:"
Wher
eishenow?Whathappenedbet
ween
thet
woofyou?
"
Il
ookedathi
m"Sor
ry"
Me:"
Hechoseanot
hergir
lovermebeacause
shehadmoneygotcl
assyandIgotnot
hingI'
m
j
ustnobodywi
thamiseryl
if
e"
PK:"
Im sosorrytohearthatbutyouarenota
nobody.Yoursit
uati
ondoesntdescribewho
youare.Youareabr av
e, smart
,sexy,beauti
ful
l
ady.Iloveyoursmil
eev enthoughyouhar dl
y
smil
e"Ifrowned
Me:
"Idosmi
l
e"
PK:
"Notqui
teof
tent
hough"
Me:
"EhMngomezuluyoujustknowmeforl
i
ke
umhsecondsal
readyyouknowIhar
dlysmi
le"
PK:
"Mngomezul
ummhIl
i
ket
hesoundoft
hat
"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es"
Whydoy
ougi
rl
sdot
hat"
Me:"Dowhat?"Herol
ledhi
seyesi
nt hemost
scari
estwayIswearhelookl
i
keadeadper son
Icouldn'
thel
pbutl
augh"Youarescari
ngme
dude"
PK:
"Butt
hatwhaty
ougi
rl
swhatdoesi
tmean"
Me:
"Duh"
PK:
"Huh"
Me:
"For
getabouti
t.
"
PK:
"Ai
n'
tyouhungr
y"
Me:
"No?
"
PK:"
Butbabyi
shungr
yIknowhejustwhi
sper
ed
tome"Hepull
edupmyT-shi
rtandki
ssedmy
tummy
Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngnow?
"
PK:
"I
'm ki
ssi
ngy
ourbel
l
y"
Me:
"Forwhatgoodr
eason!
"
PK:
"Ther
e'snoneedf
ory
out
oshoutKi
tKatI
wasjust
..
"
Me:
"Takeushomenow"
PK:
"Whati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou!
"
Me:
"Youar
eget
ti
ngt
oocomf
ort
abl
ear
ound
me!
"
PK:
"Andwhat
'
swr
ongwi
tht
hat
!!
"
Me:"
Hai
boguysiy
adlananjekuphel
ayouare
notmyboy
fri
enddon'tpl
aybabydaddyher
e..
."
PK:
"KatI
..
."
Me:"
Don'
tfucki
ngdar
eint
err
uptmewhenI
'
m
t
alki
ngtoyou!"
PK:"
Whatwithy
ouhuh!I
'
mt ry
ingt
omakeyou
feel
bet
terandyouar
ebi
tingmyheadof
f!
"
Me:
"Wel
lIdi
dn'
tasky
ou!
"
PK:"Wellthenf i
ne!
"Igotupf r
om thebedangril
y
andmademywayout" Kat"hesaidbehindmeI
carri
edonwal ki
nghegr abbedmyhandand
pinnedmeagai nstt
hewal lt
henkissedme
senselessly."
I'
m notyourfuckingexdickhead
boyfri
endst optreat
ingmel i
ket r
ash!
"Wi t
hthat
saidhewentbackt ohisbedroom.
Iwentt
othel
ounge
Me:
"Let
'
sgo"
Thando:
"I
'm st
il
lwat
chi
ng"
Me:
"It
stimetogonow"Shehuf
fedand
swi
tchedofft
hetheTVt
henweleft
.Al
ltheway
wewerequiet
.
Wear ri
v edathomethetensi
onbet weenuswas
kil
l
ingme." LookThandoIm sorr
yokayI '
m sor
ry
Idisappoint
edy ouImadeami stakeI'
m human
tooI'm notperf
ectpl
easeforgi
veme"
Thando:"
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odowi
tht
he
baby?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Thando:
"Whatdoyoumeanyoudon'
tknowy
ou
needtogetr
idoft
hatt
hing!
"
Me:
"Don'
tcal
lmybabyat
hing!
"
Thando:"Soyouar
ekeepingaconstant
reminderofwhatt
hatbastar
ddidtoy ouhuh?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowokayIdon'
tknow!
"
Thando:"
Takecar eofthatthingi
tsgoingt o
remindyout hepainMzwakheputy out hrough
youwill
nev erhavepeaceiny ourl
if
e.Wear e
alr
eadystruggli
ngwedon' tneedanother
burdenespecial
lyMzwakhe' sbabyhellno!"
Me:"
WehavemoneyandmaybeIwi
llf
indaj
ob
i
nJozit
henIwi
l
lbeablet
otakecar
eofthe
baby
"
Thando:
"Soy
ouwanttokeepsomet
hingt
hat
wil
lremi
ndyoupai
n..
."
Me:
"Whati
fhewi
l
lbr
ingj
oyi
nmyhear
t"
Thando:
"Eyt
hati
snotgoi
ngt
ohappen"
Me:
"Youar
eachi
l
dThandoy
ouknownot
hing"
Thando:
"I
fthi
sbabywi
llbr
ingj
oyt
henwhydi
d
youmademeki l
lmybaby?"
Ibl
i
nkedsuper
fl
uoust
ryi
ngt
otakei
nwhatshe
j
ustsai
d
Me:
"Imadey
ouki
l
lyourbaby
?"
Thando:
"Yesyoucameupwi
tht
hisi
deaof
ter
minat
ing"
Me:"HaiboThandoy esatfir
stIdi dbutwhen
ti
mewentonIr ealizethatI'
m wr ongIgav eyou
achancet othi nkabouti tIwasgoi ngto
supportanydeci sionbuty ouchoset oabortthe
baby.Ididn'
tf orcey outokill
y ourbabyy ou
madet hatdeci sionandIt hi
nki twasr i
ghtfor
you.Wer eyour eadyt ohav eababyatageof15
l
etalonet hewayhewasconcei ved.Youhat ed
thebabywi thpassi onThando.Thewer eti
mes
wesleptinat oi letandhadnot hingtoeatdo
youthinkani nfantwoul dhav esur v
ivedthat?"
Thando:
"May
beIwoul
dhav
elear
ntt
olov
eit"
Me:"I'
m sorrythaty oufeelImadeyoukillyour
babyIt houghtthatadeci si
onyouwant edt odo.
Somet i
mesi nlifewedot hi
ngsinaimtof i
xa
problem onlytofindoutwewenti tthewr ong
way .It
houghtt hiswast hebestdeci
sionf or
you.Youar estil
ly oungandinhighschool the
l
astthi
ngyouneededwasababy.I
mr eal
ly
sor
ryift
her
ewasawayI '
drev
ersetheti
me"
Tearswer erolli
ngonmyf aceIwasshaki ng
uncont r
oll
abl
e" I'
m notanadul tnami ThandoI m
sti
llyoungIneedgui dancetoobutIt r
ymy
utmostt obet hebestsi st
ery ouev erhad.AllI
wantf oryouist ohav eagreatl i
fe.Pleasefindit
i
ny ourhearttof orgivemef orkill
ingy ourbabyI
thoughtthatwhaty ouwant ed"Itookof fmy
shoesandsl ippedi ntobed.Icr i
edunt il
Idozed
off.
Thefol
lowi
ngmor ni
ngIwokeuphungry
Thandowasstil
lsl
eepi
ng.Ir
oll
edoutofbed
andwashedmyhandt henmakeoatsforme
andatebutIt
hrewup.
Itookaforkandwentoutsi
deanddigasandi n
theyar
d.Itsmellmademymout hwat er
ed.Iput
i
tintheplasti
candwalkedi
nsi
de.Itookf our
sli
cesofbreadandspreadt
hesandi nbetween
ofthetwoslicest
henmadejui
ce.Isatdown
andat emysandwi chmoani nginbet weenaf t
er
thatItookabatht hengotdr essed.It ooka
pieceofpaperandapenandwr ot eanot efor
Thandowi thmylef thandlol i
twasl i
keapr e
school wri
ti
ng"Wentsomewher et here'
san
envelopeunderthemat t
rassinsi dethere'
s
moneybuyany t
hingy ouwantf orbr eakfastI
willbebacksoon.Lov ey ou-Kat"Iplacediton
thetableandtookMybagt henl eft
.Istartedat
theshopandbought10ofDunhi l
lthentooka
taxitotown.
Myheartwaspoundingagainstmychest.I
l
ookedatthebigcompanyinfrontofmeand
bi
temylipthenmademywayi n.Igoti
nthe
el
evat
orwhichtookmet otherecepti
onarea.
Me:
"Uhm"Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat"
Mor
ningMa'
am"
Her
:"
Mor
ninghowar
eyou"shesmi
l
ed
Me:
I'
mfi
net
hanky
ouhowy
ou"
Her:
"I
m wellMi
sshowmayIbey
our
assi
stance"
Me:
"I
'ml
ooki
ngf
orMrMzwakheZul
u"
Her:
"Doesheknowt
haty
ouar
ecomi
ngt
osee
hi
m? "
Me:
"Notr
eal
l
y"
Her
:"
Ican'
tl
ety
oui
nMi
ss"
Me:"
It
simperati
vema'am hi
sdadi
sdy
inghe
wanttoseehim asap"
Her:
"Ohthat
'ssosadcome"Shewal
kedout
fr
om herdeskandledmetoMzwakhe'
soff
ice.
Sheknockedonthedoor
"Comein"Hesai
dontheothersi
demyheart
beatski
pped.Wewal
kedinhewasn'
tl
ookingat
usbutgluedonal
apt
opscreen
Her
:"
MrZul
usomeonei
sher
efory
ou"
Mzwakhe:
"Tel
lthem t
ocomei
n"
Her:
"Shei
sher
eSi
r"Thatwhenhelookedup
andsawmeshockfi
ll
edhiseyes
Mzwakhe:
"Thanky
ouSamant
ha"Samant
ha
wal
kedoutcl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
ndher
Me:
"Hi
"
Mzwakhe:
"Whatarey
oudoi
ngher
e"Hest
ood
upf
rom hi
schair
Me:
"Toseey
ou"
Mzwakhe:
"Whathappenedt
oyourar
m"
Me:
"Iwasshot"
Mzwakhe:
"Youcan'
tbeher
eKaty
ouneedt
o
go"
Me:
"I
'm.
.I'
m pr
egnant
"
Hef
rozef
oramoment
Mzwakhe:
"What
?"
Me:
"I
m 11weekspr
egnant
"
Hel
aughed
Mzwakhe:"
Andthatgott
odowi
thme?Got
o
yourbabydaddy
"
Me:
"Youar
ethebabydaddy
"
Mzwakhe:
"That
'sal
i
eyouandIwer
esaf
e"
Me:"
Rememberthatdayi
nthebathr
oom t
hat
samedayPearl
wal kedi
nourl
iv
es"
Mzwakhe:"
Ohshi
t!"hepacedaroundand
rougheduphi
scut"Youcan'
thavethatbaby
Katyouhavet
otakecareofit
"
Me:
"Real
l
yyouar
easki
ngmet
oki
l
lourbaby
"
Mzwakhe:
"Don'
tbestupi
dKathowwi
l
lyou
r
aiseababyyouhavenothi
ng!
"
Me:"
Wecanr aiseittoget
herMzwakhe"Iwal ked
uptohim"Ican'tr
aiseababyal oneIneedyou
pl
easecomebackt ous"Itookhishandand
pl
acedonmyt ummy" Heisourowncr eati
on,a
minius.
"Hesmashedhi sl
ipsonmi newe
ki
ssedwithsomuchhungerbr eathi
ngheavil
y
Mzwakhe:
"No!No!"Hepul
ledbackandwi
ped
hi
smouthwithhisfi
nger
s
Me:"
For
getaboutt
heweddi
ngandcometome
Ihav
esomemoneywewi l
lbeabl
etol
iv
e"
Mzwakhe:
"Ho.
.howdi
dyouknowaboutt
he
weddi
ng?"
Me:"
Pearl
tol
dmeIcamet otakemydocument s
daybef
oreyest
erdayIseeshedidn'
ttel
lyou"
Mzwakhe:
"Youneedt
ogoKat
"
Me:"
Lookatmei
ntheeyesandt
ell
mey
ou
don'
tlov
emeanymore"
Mzwakhe:
"Isai
dleav
e!"
Me:"Beamanasayi twhi
lel
ooki
ngatmer i
ght
i
nmyey es"Hestar
edatme"Cowardhuhyou
l
etti
ngthatwhorecont
rol
yourl
if
eukudonsa
ngompipiforwhatmoney?l
avi
shli
fe?How
l
ongwi l
litl
ast
?"
Mzwakhe:
"Youar
esopat
het
icr
ightnowl
eav
e
mysri
ght!
"
Me:
"Ihi
tthener
ver
ight
"
Mzwakhe:"
Isaidl
eaveKatoryouwantmet o
cal
lsecur
it
y."Hetookouthi
swall
et"Heret
ake
thi
smoneyandgetr i
dofthatr
ubbi
sh!!
"He
thr
ewthemoneyonmyf ace.Justt
henadoor
swungopenabeaut
if
ulwomanwal kedi
nand
wentst
rai
ghtt
oMzwakhe
Woman:"
Mysoninlawhowarey
ou"They
huggedt
henMzwakhepl
ant
edapeckonher
cheek
Mzwakhe:
"UhUhm goodMamahowar
eyou"
Woman: "
I'
m goodmyson"Shelookedatme
fr
om thetoesuptothehead"
Andwhoisthi
s"
shesaidwithgri
maceonherf
ace
Mzwakhe:
"Somepi
eceofrubbi
shwhoclaimto
bepr
egnantbymychi
ldcanyoubel
iev
et hi
s
hoemother
"
Woman:"Bi
tchgety
ourf
latassoutof
fher
e!!
"
shepushedme
Me:
"Youar
ehur
ti
ngme!
"
Woman:"Gogogo"Shepushedmer oughl
yIf
all
onthefl
oormyar m hurt
sev
enmor e"Gold
di
ggerndini
!"shespatonme.Igotuponthe
f
loorwi
tht
rear
scl
oudi
ngmysi
ghtandr
anout
.
.
.
Thankssweet
hear
tdon'
tfor
gett
oli
ke,
commentandshare
[
05/
31,
20:
06]W:
25
KUHLEKONKE
•
Il
aughedsohar
dunt
ilt
ear
srol
l
eddownmy
cheeks
Me:
"What
every
ousmoki
ngqui
titbr
a"
Thul
a:"
I'
m notj
okingIreal
l
ylov
eyouKonkeI
wanttospendtherestofmyli
fewi
thy
ou"
Me:"
Arey
oucrazyorwhatyouareengaged
Thul
aandyouhaveadaughter
"
Thul
a:"
Iwanty
ounother
"
Me:
"Yout
hinkI
'
m st
upi
dhuh?Yout
hinkIwi
l
l
forgi
veyouaftery
oupr omi
semet hewor l
d
knowingthatyouareengaged.I
m donefall
ing
foryourcharmsThula.Domeaf avourand
l
eav emfethu!
"
Thul
a:"
KonkeI
..
."
Me:"
YouknowIwishyourf
iancéedoesn'
ttake
youbackandl
oseever
ythi
ng!Nowgo!"
Thul
a:"
ButI
..
."
"
Don'tmakeherr
epeather
sel
fboy
"Thatwas
Dad
Thul
a:"
Ilov
eyouKonke"
Dad:"
Eyeykavukavuvoet
sekbeforeIki
ckyour
bal
ls!
!"Thul
agotupimmediat
elyandwalked
out
.
Mydadi sver
yscar
ywhenhewantt
o."
I
broughtyouf
ood"Hesai
dput
ti
ngdownthe
paperbagofKFC
Me:
"KFCr
eal
l
y?"
Dad:
"I
twasy
ourcr
avi
ngsnj
e"hesatdown
Me:
"I
'm notpr
egnantnow"
Dad:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Me:"I
t'
sokay"Igotupandwenttowashmy
handsthencameback.Isl
ippedi
ntobedand
star
tedeati
ng"Youlef
tSi
hle?"
Dad:
"Shei
sti
redandherf
eetar
eswol
l
en"
Me:
"Mv
eloi
sgoi
ngt
oov
erseas"
Dad:
"Okay
"
Me:
"Real
l
ythat
'sal
lyougonnasay
?"
Dad:
"Whatdoy
ouwantmet
osay
"
Me:
"Sayy
ouwi
l
lst
ophi
m"
Dad:
"I
'm sor
rymychi
ldMvel
oisaspoi
l
tbr
atI
don'
thaveti
merunni
ngaf
terhi
m"
Me:
"Hei
smyonl
ybr
otherIcan'
tl
osehi
mtoo"
Dad:"
Sihlei
scarr
yingy
ourl
i
ttl
ebr
otherhei
snot
youronlybr
other
"
Me:
"YouknowwhatImean"
Dad:"Lethim besoonhewi llr
eal
izel
i
feisnot
forspoiltbrat
s.Hewill
comebackand
apologise.Turni
ngagainstfamil
yisi
nvi
ti
ng
yourselfbadlucks.Hewillcomebackrunni
ng
whenbadl ucksareal
loverhim"
Me:"
Thati
sunfai
rhowcanIl
ethi
m bewi
thout
knowi
ngheisokay"
Dad:
"Youar
estrongbaby.
..
wheredi
dyouf
ound
t
hatf akef
ri
endofyoursLuci
a?"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean"
Dad:
"Sheist
heonet
hathav
ebeensendi
ng
messages"
Me:
"Wow"
Dad:
"Yep"
.
Monthshav
epassed7t
obeexactl
i
fehave
beenhar
dforme.Mybabyst
ayedi
nthe
hospi
talfor16weeks.Itt
ookahuget oll
onme
theweretimesIthoughtofl
ett
inghim goasI
coul
dn'twatchhi
m withallt
hosepipes
connectedtohi
m.
DadandSi sAnnehavebeensupport
iveshame
i
fitwasn'tf
orthem Iwoul
dhavediedof
depr
ession.
Mv el
oleftsinceIhaven'
theardfrom hi
m andit
s
kil
li
ngmei nsideshame.Forsomeoddr eason
InamandlaandIhav ebecomecl osewhenI '
m
withhim Ifeelcl
osetomybr other.
Onthi
sparticulardayIcoul dn'
ttakethepainI
wentt
odrownmysor rowswi t
halcohol
someonespi kedmydr ink.Iendedupwi t
h
somemenhav i
ngthei
rwaywi thmebuti nthe
vi
deoit
sdoesn' tlookl
iket heywer ef
orcingmeI
wasunderinf l
uenceofalcohol anddrugsdoing
al
lsor
tofthingsandguesswhatt hatvideo
wentvi
ral
Iwasl abel
edapor nstar.
Thatputal
otofst
rai
nonmycar
eer
.
AsIwasst i
llangry
,hurts,br
okenIgotinvolved
i
nacaracci dentandbrokemyl egs.I'
m walking
wit
hcr ut
chesnowandI tssodif
fi
cultI
'm not
get
tingusetoit.Badlucksarehangingallover
me.
Me:"
IsaidIcandoit
!"Il
ostt
hebalancehe
cat
chedmei nhisar
msI nai
stal
landbuffhe
l
ookolderthenhi
sage
Inamandl
a:"
Youseeyouar
etoostubbor
ngo
andsitwi
thhim Iwi
l
lmakehi
sfood"
Me:
"Okay"Iwentt
othel
ounget
ookmyson
f
rom hi
sseat.
Me:
"Hel
oboyboy
"Iki
ssedhi
m
I
namandl
a:"
Her
e"
Me;
"Thanky
ou"
Justashewasaboutt
osi
tdownt
hewasa
buzz
Iwasi
nmypar
ent
shousebyt
heway
"
Inamandl
a:"
Iwill
getit"Hedisappearedand
camebackwi thabruisedLucia.Iwasshocked
toseeherIdidn'
texpecther
Me:
"Luci
a"
Lucia:
"Ihav
enor i
ghttoaskforgi
venessIwas
self
ishandcruel
.Inevermeanttohurtyoumy
fr
iend.I'
mreall
ysorryI'
m sosososor r
y"she
droppedonherknessandcr i
edlouder.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Callmenaïv eslow, stupiddesper ate
whatsoeverahwel litseasyt ol ookatthe
sit
uati
onont heout sidethani nside.Fir
stand
foremostI'
m onl y20y earsoldIknownot hi
ng
aboutbabies.Ibr oughtmy selfupy esIr epeatI
broughtmy selfupIwoul dntsaygr andma
broughtmeupcozt heonlyt hingshedi dwast o
putfoodinmymout huntilIturned18y ears.
Foodt hatwill
goalongwithwordsfir
stbef
orei
t
reachmymout h.Shenevertol
dmewhatr i
ght
orwr ong,howt obehaveasawoman, howto
respectmy sel
faswel l
asotherpeopl
e.
Il
earntt
hatal
lbymyselfIf
igur
edthi
sthi
ng
cal
ledLI
FEbymy sel
fandI'
m sti
ll
doi
ngsoit'
s
sohard.
I
'm scaredokayI'
m scar
edthatIwon'tbea
goodmom t omybaby.WhatifIhur
ther?What
i
fIf ai
ltotakecar
eofher?Togivehertheli
fe
thatshedeserveaft
eral
lIknownothingabout
l
ov e,mother'
slov
ethati
s.
Theonlyl
oveIknowistheonet hatIgetf r
om
mysist
erandMzwakhe.It'
snoteasyt ol etgo
oft
heonlythi
ngyouknow.Iwashopi ngmay be
hewil
lchangehi
smi ndwhenheheart hatI'
m
car
ryi
nghisbabyoratl
eastsupportmybaby .
Weuset oday
dream havi
ngabeauti
ful
big
housewithal
otofchil
drenIguessi
twasjusta
dream.
Nowitsme,Thandoandthi
sbabyI
'
m car
ryi
ng
agai
nstt
hiscr
uelworl
d.
IsawPK'scarparkedi
nmyy ar
dthenI
rememberedthatwehavet
ogot othedoct
or.
Iwalkedinsi
dethegateandmademywayto
thehouse.Ifoundhi
mt al
ki
ngandl
aughi
ngwit
h
Thando.
Hiseyeslai
donmeasIwal
kedi
nhi
sfacel
i
tup
butchangedsuddenl
y
PK:
"Hey
"Hestoodupandwalkedtome"You
wer
ecryi
ngy
ourfaceandey
esar eswol
l
en.
Me:"It
snothingIcan'
thandle"Iswalloweda
l
umpi nmyt hroatIwantedtoletoutf l
oodof
tear
sbutIcont ai
nmy sel
f.Katyouar estrong
thanthisyoupullt
hroughIconsolemy sel
fand
smiledatPKwhol ookedsowor r
ied.Godwhy
doest hi
sguycaremar a?
PK:
"Shal
lwegot
othedoct
or"
Me:
"Yeahsur
e"Iputmybagont
hebed
PK:
"Youar
enotcomi
ngThando"
Thando:
"Nop"
Me:
"Heyl
i
ttl
esi
s"
Thando:
"Hey
"shesai
dsocol
dly
Me:"WecangoPK"Wewentoutt ohi
scarhe
openedthedoorformeIsteppedint
henhe
wenttheothersi
deandstart
edthecar
PK:
"Di
dyouhadbr
eakf
ast
?"
Me:
"Yes"
PK:
"Whatdi
dyoueat
?"Hedr
oveof
f
Me:
"Br
eadandsandImeansal
ad"Ibi
temyl
i
p
Hel
ookedatmewi
thar
aisedbr
ow
PK:"
Khethokuhl
eMhl
ongodoIl
ookl
i
key
our
Granpa"
Me:"
Nowaysguyy oucer
tai
nlydon'
tlookl
i
ke
hi
m hewashandsome"Hel aughed
PK:
"OhsoI
'
m ugl
y"
Me:"
Youar
easki
ngmer
eal
l
y"HepokedmeI
gi
ggled
PK:
"Butonaseriousnot
eKi
tKaty
ouneedt
o
st
opeatingsandandsmoki
ng"
Me:"Yazyouactl
ikeIdowanttosmokeandeat
sandwellIdon'
twanttookaybutIcan'
tcont
rol
crav
ings"
Hesai
dnot
hingt
her
estoft
hedr
ivewassi
l
ence.
Wear
ri
vedatt
hedoct
oranddi
dthet
est
s.
Doc:"
YourI
DAisnotsever
eMi ssMhlongoand
youhavenothi
ngtowor
ryaboutthe
suppl
ementswill
hel
pyoualot.
"
Me:
"Thanky
oudoct
or"
Doc:"
Youneedtoeatir
onr
ichfoodandVitami
n
C.li
kemeatsuchaslamb,
chicken,
porkand
beef.
Don'tfor
gettoaddsomev eggi
esi
ny ourpl
ate
l
ikespinach,pumpki
n.Egssandbeanstooare
alsoimportant
"
Me:
"Igoti
tDoc"
Doc:
"Nowlet'
shaveascanandseeift
hebaby
i
sdoingf
ine"IstoodupasPKdidso.He
hel
pedmel ayonthebi
dandli
ft
edupmyt -
shi
rt
.
Thedoct
orappli
edthecol
dgel
onmyt
ummy
andmovedthatthi
ngonmytummy
.
"Didyouhear dthat"Iheardmybaby '
sheatbeat
forthefi
rstti
memyey eswar medupwi t
ht ear
s.
Asmi l
ecr eptonmyf aceIdon'tknowifIshould
sayIwashappy ,excit
ed,joy
fulcoznoneof
thosewor dscoul ddescri
bethewayIf el
tits
notadejav uf eeli
ng.
PK:
"Wowt
hisi
samazi
ngKi
tKat
"
Doc:"
Yourbabyi
sfi
neandheal
thyMi
ss
Mhlongo"
Me:
"I
'm soov
erwhel
med"
PKwipedmytummyandki
sseditbef
ore
pul
li
ngdownmyt-
shi
rt
.Hehelpedmejump
down
Doc:"
Manageyourstr
essMi
ssMhl
ongodon'
t
overworkyour
sel
f.Tr
ynott
oent
ert
ainy
our
weir
dcravi
ngs"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Af
terwelef
tfrom t
hedoctorwewentt
owatch
amov i
enoerasethathef
orcedmetowat
cha
movie.
I
twasreal
l
yf unshameaf t
erthemov
iewentt
o
Mcdsandorderdthensatdown.
Hetwi
tchedhi
swr
istandgl
anceathi
swat
ch
wr
ist
PK:
"Wowwowwow"
Me:
"What
?"
PK:"
Canyoubeli
eveitthatwespend3hour
s
wit
houtshout
ingateachother
"Icoul
dn'
thel
p
butlaugh
Me:
"Real
l
y?"
PK:
"Sur
real
hey
"
Me:"Yeah"Welaughedourbur
ger
scame.I
l
ickedmyl i
ps.
PK:"Mybrot
hercal
l
edmeandhef oundagr and
apartmentf
oryouguys.I
t'
sgottwobedr ooms,
aliv
ingroom,t
wobathroom andakitchen"We
star
tedeati
ng
Me:"I
tsperf
ectIthinkweshoul
dhittheroad
tomorrowbeforetheyfoundus.Pr
olongingour
stayherewil
lputusindanger"
PK:"
That'
swhatIwast
hinki
ngt
oomyKi
tKat
.I
wil
ldri
veyouguys"
Me:
"Noy
ouhav
edoneenoughPKt
hanky
ou"
PK:
"Ii
nsi
st"
Me:
"Isai
dNo!
"
PK:
"Whyar
eyoushout
ingnowIwasaski
ng
ni
cel
yhawu!
"
Me:
"Ihat
eitt
haty
oucar
ePK!
"
Hel
ookedatmeper
plexed
"
Youcar
eaboutusandIhatei
t.Idon'
twanty
ou
t
ocarej
ustl
etusbeokay!
"
PK:
"Whyi
sthathuh?
"
Me:"
Idon'
twantt
ogetusetoyouthenoneday
youwakeupandbel
ikefucki
tIdon'tgi
veashi
t
now"
Hebreat
hedoutl
oudl
yandr
eachedf
ormy
hand.
PK:
"Thatboydamagedy
ouhey
"
Me:"
Nothi
m onl
yletmejustsayli
fei
tsel
f
damagemeandleftmeempt yandbr
okenfor
l
if
e"
PK:"If
eelyouKi
tKatIunderstandy ourfearbut
sometimeswegot t
agivepeopl eachancecoz
all
weweknowt heymightnotbet hesameas
theonethathur
tus.Youcan'tkeeppushi ng
peopleawaybecauseyouscar edtheymi ght
l
eav eyouoneday.Ther
e'sreasonwhywemeet
peopleandwhytheywalkoutofourl i
ves.You
can'
tli
vealoney ouneedpeopl
earoundy ou
whowi l
lsupportyouandbethereforyou.I'
m
notgoi
ngt opromiseyoutheworldbutallIcan
saytoyouisallowmet other
eforyou"
Me:
"MmmhIheary
ou"
PK:
"I
'm gl
adi
fyouhear
dme"
Wecontinueeati
ngwhi
l
etal
ki
nghetoldme
abouthi
sf ami
ly
.Hecomesfr
om awealt
hy
famil
yandheistheMDofhi
sparent
scompany
.
Whenwef
ini
shedwedr
oveback
Me:
"Dr
opmeatTbose'
shouse"
PK:
"Why
"
Me:
"Youl
i
kenewsdude"Hef
rowned
PK:
"Well
I'
m notdroppi
ngyouofftoseey
our
boy
fri
endyouwil
lgotherebyy
oursel
f"
Hekeptast
rai
ghtf
acehewasev
encl
enchi
ng
hi
sjaw
Me:
"Ar
eyouj
eal
ousMrMngomezul
u?"
PK:
"Whati
sthat
?"Il
aughed
Me:
"YouandIar
enotani
tem br
agety
our
sel
f
t
ogether
"
PK:
"Mxm"Hedr
oppedmeof
fatTbose'
shouse
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
PK:
"Ber
eadytomor
rowIwi
l
lcomepi
cky
ou
guy
suparound9am"
Me:
"Okayby
e"
Hesai
dnothinganddroveof f
.Ichuckledand
wentt
oTbosewhowassi t
tingoutsidethe
gr
eengrassunderthetr
ee."Mpintshi
mpont
sho"Isatnexttohim
Tbose:
"Heydawghowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'mt
ryi
ngman"
Tbose:
"Wantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?"
Me:
"NahmanI
'
m cool
"
Tbose:
"Howi
syourar
m"
Me:"
It
'swi
l
lgetbet
ter
...
Icametosaygoodby
e
nt
wanatomorr
owI'm offt
oJozi
"
Tbose:
"I
t'
ssadheybutwewi
l
lst
ayi
ntouch
wit
heachother
"
Me:
"Yeahy
ouwi
l
lcomeandv
isi
tme"
Tbose:
"Ofcour
sebr
a..
.Tal
kme"
Me:
"Youar
egoi
ngt
obeanuncl
e"
Hi
sey
eswi
dened
Tbose:
"Wowcongr
ats"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Tbose:
"Di
dyout
ell
him"
Me:"
Yeahhetoldmetogetr
idoft
hisrubbi
sh"I
swal
lowedhardpr
event
ingt
ear
sfrom coming
out
.
Hef
li
nchedhi
shandsf
ormi
ngf
ist
s
Tbose:"
Itol
dyouthatl
etmepanel
beathi
m
kancanenjehay
ikakhuku"
Me:
"Nomanhi
sti
mei
scomi
ng"
Tbose:
"Youar
est
rongKatyazthi
ngsyougo
thr
oughsomewil
lneversur
viv
ethem"
Me: "
Thanky ouman"Hepull
edmeinhi
sar ms
andembr acedme."Youshoul
dgi
vemey our
tensIwil
lcontacty
ouwhenIbuyaphone"
Tbose:"
Iwil
lgowrit
eitf
oryou"Hestoodup
anddisappear
edthenhecamebackwitha
pi
eceofpaper.Igotuphegavemethepieceof
paper
Me:"
Ishouldgetgoi
ngbrathankyousomuch
f
orbeingthefri
endyouar
eIwi l
lnev
erfor
get
you"
Tbose:
"Yougonnamakemecr
ynow"
Igi
ggl
edweshar
eal
ongwar
m hug."
Ilov
eyou"
Me:"Il
oveyoutoo"Hewal
kedmehomewe
tal
kedingener
alonthewaythenher
etur
ned
back.
If
oundFeznextt
oasnor
ingThando.Il
ooked
attheempt
ycansoff
lyi
ngf
ishont
hef
loorand
shookmyhead.
Fez:
"If
oundherl
i
ket
his"
Me:"Wher
edoesshegetanervetobuyalcohol
wit
hamoneyIwor kedhardf
or"Fezshr
ugged
hershoul
der
s.Isatnextt
oheronthebed
Fez:"I
'm sorryIl
ashoutIhav enoexcusetodo
that.Ican'tevenlookatyouintheeyesri
ght
nowI m soashamedaf terev
erythi
ngyouhave
doneIhadnor i
ghttosaythosehurtf
ulwords.
Pleasef or
giveme"
Me:
"I
t'
sokayFez
"
Fez:
"Iknowhowt
hismaysoundbutIl
ovey
ou
Kat"
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oobabygi
rl
"
Fez:
"Il
ovey
our
omant
ical
l
yKat
"
Me:
"Oh"If
rozeIdi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osayIwas
neverreadyfort
his.Iwasstartl
edbyherwarm
l
ipssmashi ngagainstmine"Fez"Ipul
l
edback
andlookedather"Lookmyl oveyouarev
ery
youngy ouneedtof i
ndyoursel
f."
Fez:"
IknowwhatIwantKatandt hat'
syou"She
stoodupopenedmyt highsthensheknel
t
betweenthem "
Iwanty oubabyIfeel
li
keIhave
knowny ouforyear
s.WhenI'm wi
thyouIfeel
l
ikeI'
m oncloudnine.
Gi
veusachanceKatpl
ease"
Ehmadoda!
Me:"Fezyouareconfusedandthatisboundto
happeny ouar
estil
lateenagethere'
saloty
ou
wil
lfeeldon'
tent
ertai
neveryfeel
ing"
Fez:
"NonoKaty oudon'tgetmemyheartbeat
foryou"Tearsgli
stenedinherey
esJesuswhat
didIgotmy sel
fint
o" Il
oveyouKat"
Me"Don'
tcr
yyouar
ebr
eaki
ngmyhear
tnow.
"I
pul
l
edherheadonmyst
omachandembr
aced
her"
I'
m sor
ryokayI
'
m sor
ryt
hatIcan'
tgi
vey
ou
whatyouwant"
Fez:
"Whyam Iugl
y?Am Inotat
tract
ive?
"
Me:
"Youar
esobeaut
if
ulandat
tract
iveFez.
..
"
Fez:
"Thenwhydon'
tyouwantt
obemy
gi
rlf
ri
end"
Me:
"BecauseI
'
m noti
ntogi
rl
s"
Fez:
"Buty
ou.
.wehadamagi
cal
momentt
hat
day"
Me:
"Iknowbutt
hatdoesn'
tmeanI
'
mint
ogi
rl
s"
Fez:
"May
beyoudoi
t'
sjustyoudi
dn'
tknow.
Whatweshar
edwasgenuineKat
"
Me:"
I'
m sorryi
fIgaveyout
hewrong
i
mpression"Tear
sfall
onherf
aceohGodwhat
hav
eIdone
Fez:
"Ki
ssmef
ort
hel
astt
imeIwon'
tbot
hery
ou
agai
n"
Me:
"Fez.
..
"
Fez:
"Pl
ease"shewhi
sper
edIsi
ghedandki
ssed
her.
.
Monthslat
er7mont hstobepreci
sehowl i
fe
havebeenforthepassedmonths?Well
itsnot
badshamet hesecondweekwemov edtoJoziI
foundajobatEdgars.If
ell
inl
ovewit
hthe
apart
mentexquisi
te.
PKhav ebeenv erysupport
ivei
nmorethanone
way.Iwouldn'tsaywear edati
ngbutwedo
every
thingthatisdonebypeoplewhoareina
rel
ati
onship.
Het akecar eofmeemotionall
y,physi
call
yand
sexuall
y.WhenIcr yhe'
ddropev ery
thi
ngand
dri
vestraighttoJozi
.Heisjustasweetheart
butIjustcan'tmakeourr
elati
onshipoff
ici
alI'
m
scared.
Ihaven'
theardfrom MzwakhesincethatdayI
chosetoforgetabouthi
m Iwil
ltakecareofmy
baby.
Thandosi
gh!ThandoandIarenotget
ti
ngal
ong
anymorewearealway
sfight
ing.
EversinceIfal
lpr
egnantsomehowshelost
respectformeshetal
ktomeasi fI
'
m herage
orfri
end.
Itbreakmyhear tthatwear edrif
ti
ngapar tmore
andmor eeachpassi ngday .Ineedhersuppor t
mor ethenanyonei nthi
swor ldbuty enashe
treatmelikeI'
m pieceofshit.I'
mt i
redof
fighti
ngwithhercozt helastti
mewef oughtI
wasadmi ttedinthehospital.
Apartfr
om whatishappeningbetweenThando
andI,Ienj
oyedmypr egnancy.Thefeel
ingof
car
ryingali
feinsi
deofy ouisoverwhel
ming.
Theki
cksar
esoamazingt
heyal
waysmakemy
daynomatt
erhowdownImaybe.
IlovemybabyandIwouldn'
ttr
adehi
m orher
foranyt
hingIj
ustcan'
twai
ttohol
dhi
mi nmy
arms.
TboseandIarest
ill
contacti
ngeachot
herour
fr
iendshi
pisgr
owingeveryday.
FezandZet huv
isi
tuswhenitshol
i
day
s.Fezis
studyi
ngatUKZNZethuissti
lli
nhi
ghschool
doinggrade10li
keThando.
IthoughtwhenFezgot ouniver
sityshewil
l
explor
eandf i
ndoutwhoexact lysheisbutnah
sheisstil
li
ntome.I'
dwokeuphereat ingmein
themiddleoftheni
ght.Ihavetoldher
countl
esstimesshewillpr
etendasi fshehear
d
me.
I
twas16June, acol
dFridayIwasseatingi
n
fr
ontofTVscreenwrappedinablanketand
havi
nghotcupofchocolat
e.
Lat
oya:
"Where'syum yum"Lat
oyaismyf
ri
end
weworktogetheratEdgar
s.Sheisa
sweet
heartshame.
Shewasr
efer
ri
ngt
oPKshei
ssayhei
syummy
Me:
"Hewentt
omeethi
sbr
other
"Yeshewas
her
eact
uall
yhehav
ebeenher
esi
ncei
tsmy
duemont
h.
Hetookaspeci
alleav
ejusttost
ayher
ewit
h
meandmakesur eI'
m okay.Hei
sasweet
hear
t
i
sn'
the
Latoya:
"Whydon'
tyougiv
emehim cozyou
don'twantt
odatehim"Shesi
ppedonher
chocolat
e
Me:"Hayyouhav
eaboy
fri
end"Isi
ppedonmy
chocolat
e
Lat
oya:
"IwantaZuluguynowIhear
dtheyt
ake
youtosmallheav
en"
Lat
oyai
saXhosachi
ckbutshespeakZul
u
moreof
tent
henherl
anguage
Me:"
Youhavenoi
deamyf ri
endPKushaya
ngel
i
nyei
thumbul
entokozolenzaamasi
mba"
Shecackl
edt
hrowi
ngherheadback
Lat
oya:
"Si
nceyouguysar
efr
iendswi
thbenef
it
l
endmehimf oroneni
ght
"
Me:"
Mh-mhIwi
l
lfi
ndy
ouy
our
syabo"She
l
aughed
Lat
oya:
"Youseeyoul
ovet
heguyIdon'
tknow
whycan'
tyouadmit
"
Me:
"Idon'
tl
ovehi
m"
Lat
oya:
"Keepf
ooli
ngyour
sel
fmydear"she
si
ppedonherchocol
ate"
Wherei
syoursist
er"
Me:
"Ther
e'say
out
hnt
onnt
onatherschool
"
Lat
oya:
"Shei
rksmey
eer
"
Me:
"That
'smysi
ster"
Latoya:
"Sheisungrat
eful
Katafterever
y t
hing
youhavedonef orhersheisbehavi
nglikea
spoil
tbrat.
Youdoy ourut
mosttomakeherhappywhy
cantshesupporty
ou.
"
"
Bitchifyoudontknowwhatt
osaysingdon'
t
t
alkaboutme!"ThatwasThandoshethan
walkedtoherbedroom
Latoya:
"GodIwill
kickherti
nyass!
!"shewas
fumingwithanger.Shestoodupandputher
cupont hecoff
eet abl
e.
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryLat
oya"
Latoy
a:"I
'm goi
ngt
oteachhert
orespect
el
ders!!
"Igotupfr
om t
hecouchwhichki
nda
tr
oublebecauseofmyhugetummy .
Me:
"My
ekeLat
oya"Ihel
dherhand
Lat
oya:
"Shecal
l
edmeabi
tchKat
!!
"
Me:
"IknowandI.
..I
"IpausedasIf
eltsome
wei
rdpain"
Iwil
l
...whuuu"
Lat
oya:
"Fr
iend?
"shehel
dmeIwasst
art
ingt
o
sweat
Me:"
It
's.
.."If
eltl
i
qui
dgushi
ngdownmyl
egsI
l
ookeddownasLat oy
adidt
hesame.
Lat
oys:
"Ohshi
tyourwat
erbr
oke"
Me:
"I
'm scar
edLat
oya"
Lat
oya:
"Br
eat
hokay
"
Me:
"Cal
lPKooouuuhh"
Shet
ookmyphoneandcal
lPK.
Lat
oya:
"Hei
scomi
ng"
Me:"
Uyezauy
imv
ulay
ini
!!
!oouuh"
Igr
oanedi
n
pai
n.
Idi
dn'tknowwhatdo.Isatdownbutitwassti
l
l
pai
nfullIst
oodupandwalkedaroundnothi
ng
washelping.
Lat
oya:
"Okayf
ri
endbr
eat
hinandout
"
Me:
"ShutupLat
oya!
!"
ShefannedmeasIwasdr
ippi
ngwi
th
per
spirat
ion
Thedoorbur
stopenPKwal
kedi
n
PK:
"Ki
tKatI
'
m her
enowdon'
twor
ry"
Me:
"Whatt
ooky
ousol
ong!
!"
PK:"Tr
aff
icIm sor
ry"Hepi
ckedmeup" Lat
oya
takethebagsinthebedr
oom "Latoy
ar anout
andcamebackwi t
hthebags.Iwasrushedto
thehospi
tal
allthewayIwasshout
ingatPKf
or
dri
vi
ngslowly.
Atthehospi
talt
heyputmeinastr
etcherand
wheeledmetothelabourwar
d.PKwasr unni
ng
wit
hthem nextt
omehol di
ngmyhand.
Doc:"
Openyourl
egsMiss"Iopenedmyl egshe
di
dsomethingdownther
e"OkayI'm goi
ngto
countupt
o3y ouwil
lpush"
Me:
"PKI
'
m scar
ed"Icr
ied
PK:"
Nothi
ngisgoingt
ohappenbabyt
rustt
he
doct
or"hesqueezedmyhand
Doc"
One.
..
two.
.t
hreepush"
Me:
"Ahhh"Ipushedsqueezi
ngPK'
shandhar
d
Doc:
"Pushwi
thal
lofy
ourst
rengt
hmi
ss.
..
1..
2..
3
go"
Me:
"Ahhhhhhh"
Doc:
"Youar
edoi
nggoodgoagai
n"
It
ri
edt
opushbutIcoul
dn'
tIdi
dn'
thav
eener
gy
anymore"Youcan'
tpassoutnowt
heheadi
s
al
readyout"
Me:"
Isn'
tther
eotherwaywecoul
ddoIcan'
tI
don'
thaveenergyanymor
e"
PK: "
Youcandoi tmyl ovedlinzangomtwana
andgat herallyourstrength"Hekissedmy
dri
ppingwetf or
ehead.Igat heredal
lthe
str
engtht hatwasl eftwithi
nmeandgav e3
kil
lerpushr espect
ivelymybaby '
scryfi
l
ledt
he
room.
Doc:"
Congratul
ati
onsmissy ougav
ebi
rt
htoa
bouncingbabyboy"Ipassedout
Iwokeupandgazedaround.PKwascuddl
i
ng
mybabywhil
eLatoyawaspeekinghi
m.
Lat
oya:
"Youar
eawakebabe"
Me:
"yes"Isatupstr
aightandl
eanedmyback
ont
hepi l
low"I
sthathim"
PK:
"Yeahy
ouwannahol
dhi
m"hesmi
l
edwi
del
y
Me:
"Yespl
ease"Hest
oodupandcar
eful
l
ygav
e
memybabyboy .ThemomentIhel dhiminmy
armsIfel
li
nlovewithhi
m.Hel ookedl
ike
Mzwakheregar
dlessIst
il
l l
ovehi
m withal
lmy
hear
t."
Heissobeauti
ful
"tearswell
edupinmy
eyes
Lat
oy a:
"Boy
sar
enotbeaut
if
ulchomi
"PKandI
gi
ggled
Me:
"Yeahwhat
ever
"Iki
ssedhi
sti
nyl
i
ps
Thenursewalkedinandshowedmehowt o
breast
feedhimthenshewalkedout
.Ibr
east
feedhim hesuckedonmehar d"
Youmustbe
hungrybigboy"
'
Lat
oys:
"Congr
atul
ati
onsmyf
ri
end"shesmi
l
ed
Me:
"Thanky
oust
handwasami
"
Lat
oya:
"Excusemeguy
s"shewal
kedout
PK:"
Youdi
daverygoodjobMaMhl
ongo"He
cametost
andnexttous
Me:
"Thanky
ouMngomezul
u"
PK:"
Ourson"hesmi
l
edandhel
dhi
sti
nyhand
"Whatshoul
dwecal
lhi
m"
Me:
"Thembal
ami
"
PK:"Thembalami Mngomezul u"Il
aughedand
gazedatmybabyboyashesuckl e.Thewayhe
waspr essi
nghistinypinkli
psonmyni ppl
ewas
themostamazi ngt hi
ngIhaveev erwatchinmy
l
ife.Icoul
dwat chitevery
dayandev erynight
.
Hei ssoadorableKINGOFMYHEART
.
.
Thanky
oucomment
,li
keandshar
e
[
05/
31,
20:
07]W:
26
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Heissoperfect
!Hischubbycheeks,
hissmall
l
ips,
hissmallEngli
shnose,hi
scutesmalley
es,
hist
inyhandswithit
ssmallfi
nger
s,hi
stinyfeet
wi
thi
tssmal
ltoessof
li
ppi
ngcut
eman.
Il
oveeverysingl
ethi
ngabouthim heisthe
mostcutestchubbybabyIhav
eev erseenint
he
worl
d.
Looki
ngathi
misnev
erenough.
Me:"Welcomet ot heworldmyboyj ustknow
thatyouar elov
edandpr otect
edbymommy
and..
."IlookedatPKwhowasseat ednextto
meont hebed" Anddaddy"hisfaceli
tup
PK:
"Your
eal
l
ymeant
hat
"
Me:"
Yeahyouar
enol
ongerUncl
ePK"He
beamed.
PK:"
Ohwowt hankyousomuchmyKitKatyou
don'
tknowhowmuchdoesthatmeanst o
me..
.wai
twhatdoesthi
smeansaboutus"
Me:"
Youarea25yearsol
dmanMr
MngomezuluI
'
m sureyoucanf
igur
eitout
your
sel
f"
PK:
"OhYessssss!
!"Hescr
eamedi
nexci
tement
star
tl
ingmybabywhostar
tedcr
ying."
I'
m sor
ry
myboydaddyisovert
hemoon"IcradledLami
andcalmedhi
m down.
"
Makhedama
Bhebhe,
Mhl
ongo,
Soy
engwase,
Nj
omanekaMgabhi
KaMt
hendeka,
Makhul
'
emi
nikaMal
andel
a
Okhul
'
emi
niabany
ebekhul
'
ebusuku
Umagezangobi
si
Wenaowabhebhaumuntuetsheni
lazel
aphuka
ngobausabaamazol
othankyousomuch"
Icouldnthel
pbutgri
n.Hebroughthisli
psclose
tomineweki ssedpassi
onat
elyhi
st ounge
goinginandoutofmymout hinquickstrokes
"Hayhayhayefikanj
eumtwanaemhlabeni
senimi
fundisaumkhuba"(
Hayhayhaythebaby
j
ustcamei ntotheworl
dandyouarealr
eady
teachi
nghim naught
ythi
ngs)Webroketheki
ss
andbursti
nt ol
aught
er
PK:
"It
'sagoodideatoteachhi
m nowsothathe
won'
tchickenouti
nfr
ontofgir
lswhenheisol
d"
Igi
ggled
Latoya:"
Idisagreewi t
hy ouy um y
um that
'swhy
chil
drenoft odayfallpregnantattheageof12
years"Shesai dwalkingt owardsandtookLami
fr
om me" Boybakuf undisaumkhubanzeee
wena...
Ilovechubbybabi estheyaresocute
andy oursmakemewannahav emyownnow"
Me:
"I
m sur
eLuy
olowi
l
lbehappy
"
PK:"
Uhm babel
et'
smegogety
ousomet
hingt
o
eatwhatdoyouwannaeat
"
Me:
"Nandos"
PK:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"Hegr
inned
PK:
"CanIhav
ethati
nrecor
ding"Igi
ggl
edand
ki
ssedhi
m
Me:
"Youwi
l
lhav
ethati
nasong"
Hebl
ushedIl
aughed
Me:
"Tur
ningpi
nkhuh"
Hel
aughed
PK:
"Menev
er!
"Heki
ssedme
Lat
oya:"
Getar
oom al
readyy
ounaught
y
par
ents!
"
Wegi
ggl
edaf
terbr
eaki
ngourki
ss
PK:
"LetmegomyKi
tKat
"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
oual
ready
"Ipul
l
edapuppyf
ace
PK:
"Ohbaby
"Hel
eanedtokissmeagai
nLat
oya
cov
eredmymout
hwithherhand
Lat
oya:
"Goy
um y
um"Wel
aughed
Hest
oodupandl
ookedatmesmi
l
ingt
henhe
shookhisheadandwalkedoutleav
ingme
stari
ngathisbehi
nd."
Damny ouaresoinl
ove
withthedude!
!"
Me:"
Ohpl
ease"Ir
oll
edmyey
esmaki
ngher
l
augh.
Lat
oya:
"IneedmyZul
uPr
inceChar
ming"
Me:
"Buty
ouhav
eyourXhosaPr
inceChar
ming"
Lat
oya:
"IwantTbosemyf
ri
end"
Iwi
denedmyey
es
Me:"
Ha.
amyf ri
endmusaukubaut
hatheki
ley
ou
sawTboseoncealr
eadyy
ouwanthim and
besi
deyouhaveLuyol
omos"
Latoy
a:"
Luy
oloi
sfarawaymyl
i
fei
sher
e
choma"
Me:
"MosTbosei
sfart
oo"
Lat
oya:
"Hei
swi
ll
i
ngtocomeany
timehewanna
hav
eme"shesmir
ked
Iey
ebal
l
edhert
hisgi
rlmar
a
Me:
"Andwhendi
dyout
ospoket
ohi
m"
Lat
oya:
"Ei
sh"Shel
ookedaway
Me:
"Lat
oya!
"
Lat
oya:
"Ist
olehi
sdi
git
sfr
om y
ourphoneI
'
m
sor
ry"
Me:
"Amen"Ir
aisedmyhandi
nsur
render
.
Lat
oya:
"Hedi
dn'
tmi
ndt
hough.
..
"
Me:"
Howl
onghav
eyoubeencont
act
ingeach
ot
her"
Lat
oya:"
Uhm amonthlastweekwespentt
he
weekendtoget
her
"shebiteherl
i
p
Me:"
Wowreal
l
yandhedi
dn'
ttel
lmehei
sher
e
orcomet
oseeme"
Lat
oya:
"Aski
esf
ri
end"
Me:
"Somef
ri
endy
out
woar
e"
Lat
oya:
"Fr
iendI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry"
Me:
"Leav
eIwantt
obeal
one"
Lat
oya:
"ComeonKatwear
esor
ry"
Me:
"Isai
dleav
eLat
oya!
"
Lat
oya:
"Whyarey
ouangryhuh?Youwanthi
m?
Youcan'
thav
ebothTboseandPkKat!
!"
Me:"
Idonthav
eener
gygi
vememyLami
and
go!
"
Shegavememybabyandwal kedout.Iki
ssed
mybabyboy '
sforeheadandrockedhim back
andfor
thunti
lhef al
lasl
eep.Hisfat
hercame
backandtookhim aft
erplaci
ngthepaperbag
onthedrawertabl
e.
Iwentt
owashmyhandsandcameback.Isl
i
d
i
ntobedandst
art
edeat
ing
PK:"
Heisaper
fectgi
ftev
er"Heki
ssedhi
s
for
ehead
Me:
"Openy
ourmout
h"
PK:
"Ar
eyoual
ri
ght
?"
Me:
"YeahI
'
mfi
ne"Heopenhi
smout
hIf
edhi
m
Thefol
l
owi
ngmorningIwasdischar
ged.PK
spendt
heni
ghtwi
thusinthehospit
al.
Wewerenowinhi
scardr
ivi
ngtotheapar
tment
.
Iwasatt
hebackwit
hLamii
nmyar mswho
wassl
eepi
ngwhil
ePKwasdr i
vi
ng.
Me:"Twoweeksi
snotenoughf
ormet
ofi
nda
nanny"
PK:
"Ananny
"Hel
ookedatmei
nther
earmi
rr
or"
Me:"
Yesanannyi
ssomeonewhol
ookaf
tera
ba.
."
PK:
"Iknowwhatanannyi
sKi
tKatImeanwhy
doyouwantananny"
Me:
"Hai
boI
m wor
kingnj
ehav
eyouf
orgott
hat
"
PK:
"Youcan'
tl
eaveourbabyandgot
owor
khe
i
ssti
llsmal
lKi
tKatheneedyou"
Me:"Yout
hinkIdon'
tknowthatbutther
e's
nothi
ngIcandoIhaveasisterandbabythat
needtobefed"
PK:
"Youdor eal
i
zet haty
ouwillt
ostop
br
eastfeedi
nghim andgivehi
mf or
mul a.Idon'
t
wantthatKit
Katbreastmil
kisbestforhim."
Me:
"Iwi
l
lgi
vehi
m bot
h"
PK:
"Ayayy
oucan'
tdot
hat
"
Me:"
Ohcomeonnowwhatt
oyouwantmet
o
do"
PK:
"Qui
twor
k"
Me:
"What
?NoIcan'
t"
PK:
"Iwi
l
ltakecar
eofy
ouguy
s"
Me:
"NonoIcan'
tPKwhati
f.
..
."Ist
oppedmy
sel
f
PK:"WhatifIl
eaveyouthatwhatyouwere
goingtosayright
?Afteral
lthesemont
hsyou
sti
l
l dontt
rustmeKitKat"
Me:"
It
'shasbeenmonthsPK,
Mzwakhest
ayed
l
oyaltomefor4year
sbuthelef
t!
"
PK:
"Howmanyt i
mesdoIhav et
otel
lyouthat
I
'm noty
ourexboyf
ri
end.St
opcomparingme
wi
tht
hatbast
ard!
!"
Isai
dnot
hingt
her
estoft
hedr
ivewassi
l
ence.
Wear ri
vedathomehet ookLami andItookthe
bagsthenwemadeourwayi n.Wewer e
welcomedbygi r
lsandboy ssleepingonthe
fl
oor,emptycansofdif
ferenttypesofalcohol
scatt
eredaround.
Me:"Whatthef
uckisthi
s!"Ir
ushedt omy
bedroom t
hewasaboyandagi rlwhowere
snori
ngonmybedi nmysheet s.Ihi
tthem wit
h
thebagstheyj
umpedup" Getthehelloutof
here!
!!
"Ir
oaredinanger
Theygotupnakedast heywereandgot
dressedquickl
ythentheywalkedout
.I
mar chedtotheloungewherePKwasalready
waki ngt
hem.
"Out!Out!Wheredoesy a'
l
lparent
sthi
nky ou
arehuhNx !!
"Theywer eal
laroundThando'sage.
Iwasf umingwithangerhowcanshe
disr
espectmel i
kethis.
Iwenttogivebir
thandshesawanoppor tuni
ty
toturntheapart
mentaclub!Iwenttoher
bedroom andfoundherwit
haboyi nherbed
buttnaked.
Ifetchedwaterwithabowlandpouredi
ton
bothofthem theyscr
eamedjumpingupwit
h
shock.
Me:
"Whatt
hef
ucki
sthi
sshi
tThandokuhl
e!!
"
Thando:
"Ohy
ouback"shey
awned
Me:"Nyweny weny weyouVoet sek!"Isai
dt othe
boywhoj umpeddowni mmediatelyandpicked
uphi scl
othesont hefl
oor.Iki
ckedhi sbutthe
groanedandr ushedoutbumpi ngintoPK." Igo
forfewhour sandy out
urnsthishousea
sheeben!!
"
Thando:
"Ihaveaheadachepleasekeepy
our
voi
cedown"shepr essedherthumbandmiddl
e
fi
ngeront hesi
desofherface
Me:
"Idon'
tgi
veashi
t!
!Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tuseour
sav
ingst
obuyal
cohol
!!
"
Thando:
"Rel
axi
t'
sjust1k"
Me:"Whaaaat
!1.
..
1kforst
upi
dalcohol
!!
"I
walkedtowar
dsherandsl
appedhershe
sl
appedmeback.
Iwon'
tsayIwassur
pri
sed.
Thando:
"Youarenotmymotherdon'
tyou
fucki
ngdarel
ayyourhandonme"
Me: "Whereisshenowhuh?I '
mt heonewho
havebeenher ewi thyoudoi ngwhat everittake
tomakesur ey oueatandhav eshel t
ertosl eep
on.Don' tyouf ucki
ngdar etellmeabouty our
mot herwhodoesn' tgiveashi taboutyou!
Khonamanj et hatmoneyy ousquander edon
alcohol whomadei t?Meeeee!Iwor kmybut t
offtogi veyoul i
feat eenageshoul dhav e.You
wearl abels,yougot obestschool ,youdoy our
hairinasal oonev erymont h,youhav eat ablet
becauseofmeandt heny ouhav eaner veto
disrespectme! !"
Thando:
"Uy
angi
bal
i
sel
a"
PK:"
Akakubaki
sel
iThandoshei
stel
l
ingy
out
he
tr
uth!
"
Thando:
"Shutupy
ouasshol
eI'
m nott
alki
ngt
o
you!
"
PK:"
Thisi
sitI'
mti
redofyounow!
"He
unbuckl
edhisbel
tandtooki
tout
TThando:
"Yougoi
ngt
owat
chhi
m beatmeup
Kat?
"
Me:
"Youdeser
vei
t"
PKgr abbedherandbeatt
hehellouther
,she
cri
edi nangui
sh.Il
eftt
hem andwenttomy
bedroom.
Mybabywassti
llsl
eepi
ngonhi
scot.Iki
ssed
hi
scheekandsatdownonthef
loort
hencried.
Icr
iedsomuchthatIhadhi
ccupsPKcamei
n
aft
erawhi
leandsatnextt
ome
PK:
"Ssshdon'
tcr
ymyl
ove"hepul
l
edmei
nhi
s
ar
ms
Me:"Whyi sshebehavi
ngl i
kethi
sPK.Wher edid
Iwentwr ongwithherItr
iedtoputherinthe
str
aightl
inebutnowshei ssli
ppingoutofmy
handsI'm afr
aidI
m goingtoloseherforgood"I
sobbed
PK:
"Youdi
dn'tdoany
thi
ngwr
ongmyl
oveshei
s
bei
ngateenage"
Me:
"Thi
sishar
dbabyIcantt
akei
tany
mor
e.i
t'
s
t
oomuch"
PK:"
I'
m her eforyoudon' tcry"Hestrokedmy
backallowingmet oletitalloutwett
inghis
j
acket."Sshh"hewhi speredrunninghisf
inger
s
onmyhai randitfeltsodamngoodand
rel
axi
ng.West ayedi nthatpositi
onforsome
ti
mewi t
hmeenj oyi
nghi sfingerti
psonmy
scul
p" IloveyouKi t
Kat "
Me:
"Il
oveyout
oobaby
..
.l
et'
smegoandcl
ean
t
hehouse"
PK:
"Noshehav
etocl
eani
ther
sel
f"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lfi
xsomet
hingf
ory
out
oeat
"
PK:"
Wewill
orderi
nbabyy
ouj
ustgav
ebi
rt
hyou
needtor
estokay"
Me:
"Yousuchasweet
hear
tar
eyouf
orr
eal
"
Hechuckl
ed
PK:
"Ohy
eahbaby
"
Me: "
Thanky ouf orev
ery t
hingwi t
houtyoulif
e
wouldn'tbecl oset obli
ss.Youwer every
suppor t
ive.throughoutmypr egnancyifit
wasn'tfory ouIwoul dn'thav eenjoyedmy
pregnancy .Youmakei teasyf ormet oloveyou
event houghIv owedtonev ereveri
nvolve
my selfwithaguyany mor e.Thanky ousomuch
Dlakadlapl easeIbegy oudon' thurtme"
PK:"
Iwon'thurty
oumyKi tKat"Wekissedso
passi
onatelyunt
ilwer
edistur
bedbyabel lon
thedoor
.Hegotupandhel pedmeupt henwe
wenttoattendwhoeverwasv isi
ti
ng.
PKopenedthedoort
herest
oodtwopol
i
cemen
andabrui
sedThandonextt
othem
P1:
"Gr
eet
ingscanwecomei
n"
Me:
"Yes"Theywal
kedi
n
P2:
"AreyouMrPhakamani
Mngomezul
u"he
sai
dlooki
ngatmyman
PK:
"YeshowcanIhel
pyou"
P2:
"Youareunderar
restf
orchi
l
dabuse"They
st
artedcuf
fi
nghim
Me:
"Whaaat
?"Il
ookedatThando
P2:"
Youhavearighttoremainsilenceanyt
hing
yousaymaybeuseagai nsty
oui nthecourtof
l
aw.Youhavear ighttoconsultanattor
neyif
youdonthaveanat t
orneyonewi l
lbeappointed
foryoui
fyousodesi r
e"
.
.
Somet
hingshor
tI'
m notf
eel
i
ngwel
l
.Don'
t
f
orgett
ocomment
,li
keandshar
e

[
05/
31,
20:
07]W:
27
KHETHOKUHLE
•
PK:
"Babypl
easecal
lmysist
er"Hesai
dasthey
wal
kedoutwithhi
m.Iwasburni
ngwit
hanger.
Itookhi
sphoneonthecounteranddial
edhi
s
si
sterwhoisal
awyersheanswer edonthet
hir
d
ri
ngIinf
ormedherever
ythi
ng.
Me:"
Youli
tt
leswi
nehowdar
eyoul
ayachar
ge
agai
nstPK!
"
Thando:
"Hehi
tmel
ookatme!
"
Me:
"Youar
edi
srespect
ful
Thandoheshoul
d
hav
ehi
tyourhar
dert
hent
hat
!!
"
Thando:"
Youarechoosi
ngyourboy
fri
end'
ssi
de
overyourownsist
erKat
!"
Me: "
Yousuchanungr at
eful
lit
tl
esluty
oudo
reali
zethatyou'
dbeoutthereinsomecountry
sleepi
ngwi t
hdiff
erentmenifmeandPKdi dn'
t
rescueyou.Isthi
showy outhankus"
Sheswal
l
owedhar
d
"Isacr i
ficedmyf utureforyouThandokuhl eI
couldhav ewentt ostudyandl efty oualonewi th
grandma, becauseIl oveyouher eam Iwi thyou
wor kingf ory outoliveli
keanor mal teenagebut
stil
lyoudon' tseemyef for
tsyout reatmel ike
pieceofshi t
.Sinceyouar eoldenoughnowI
willtakeev eryt
hingthatIboughtf ory outhe
onlyt hi
ngy ouandIwi ll
shareist hisapartment .
I'
m doi ngy ouaf avourIshouldbet hrowingy ou
out"Iwentt oherbedr oom andopenedher
closett hent ookoutal lhercl
ot hes
Thando:
"Youcan'
tdot
hatKatwhatam I
supposet
owear
"
Me:"Youwillseemosuy i
ntombiendal
awena.I
will
taketheseclothesandgivetotheor phans
theywill
appreciat
et hem unl
uckyou!!
"I
empt i
edherclosetandwentt oputallher
clot
hesinmycl oset.
Shewasf
oll
owi
ngmebehi
ndasIdi
dso
Thando:
"Comeont
hat
'sunf
air
"
Me:"
UnfairIwil
ltel
lyouwhatunfai
r.Whatunfai
r
i
sthatPKt heonlypersonwhohav ebeenver
y
hel
pfuli
sar r
est
edbecauseofy ou!That'
s
unf
air.
..
Givemet hetablet
"
Thando:
"Noway
sKat
!!
"Isnat
chedi
tfr
om her
Me:"
From nowonyouwil
ltakecareofyour
sel
f
bi
ggirl
.Don'tt
ouchany
thi
ngt hatbel
ongtome"
Thando:"Thisboyisdri
vi
ngy oucrazyi
sthi
s
howy out r
eatyourli
tt
lesist
er?Youareno
di
fferentthengrandma!!
!"ShestompedoutI
groanedinf r
ustr
ati
on
What '
swrongwiththi
schild!Ishouldbe
thr
owingheroutbutIcan'tdot hatthisisJozia
l
otcanhappent oherIdon'twantanybadt hing
tohappentoher.Ij
ustwanthert or eali
zethat'
s
sheisnothi
ngwithoutme.I t
ssadaf t
er
ever
y t
hingI
m doingforhershet reatmel i
kea
skorobho.
YazThandoisli
kemyf ir
stbornImakeher
happymorethanImakemy sel
fhappy .Aslong
assheishappyI'
m happy.Iwon'tsayIspoilt
hershehavebeenthroughalotandsuf feri
ngI
wantedtomakeherhappyhenceev er
y t
hing
shewantedIboughtherwithouthesit
ation.
Isighedheav i
l
yandst art
edcl
eaningt
heki t
chen
andt heloungethenIwenttomybedr oom and
changedt hesheets.WhenIfi
nishedwith
everythi
ngIorderedPizza.MyphonerangasI
wasaboutt ogocheckonLami .
Me:
"Ya"
Tbose:
"Hawt
hat
'scol
d"
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantTbose"
Tbose:
"Don'
tbemadpl
ease"
Me: "
I'
m notmadIm sadthatyoucameherebut
youdi dn'
ttel
lmenorcomet oseeme.Howwi l
l
youf eeli
fsomeonetel
lyouIwastherebutI
didn'
tcomet oseeyouyetwear ef
ri
ends"
Tbose:"
Iwi
l
lbehur
tI'
m sor
rydawgpl
ease
for
giveme"
Me:
"I
tscool
"Lami
star
tedcr
ying
Tbose:
"Congr
atulat
ionsIcan'
twaittosee
umshanakamal umeeeIwi l
lteachhi
m howt
o
pl
aygir
ls"
Me:"Yahl
anya"Hel
aughed"
Looky
ournephewi
s
cr
yingIhavetoatt
endhim"
Tbose:
"Nopr
obl
em dog"Ihungupandthrew
myphoneonthebedandtookLamionhiscot
Me:"Aki
esfanozwamama"Ical
medhi m down
fi
rstbef
orechangi
nghisdi
aper
.Iwashedmy
handsandtookhimthenwentt
otheliv
ing
room towatchsomeTV.Ipul l
edoutmyboob
andbr eastf
eedhimjustthent
hewasabellat
thedoorIgotupwi t
hLamisucklingIdi
dn'
t
wantt odist
urbhi
mt abl
emanners.Iwentt
o
attendthedoor
Itwast hepizzaguyIwentt ofetchmoneyand
paidthenhel eft
.It
ookt hepizzaandwentwi th
i
tt otheloungeandpl aceditonthecoff
eetable.
Iwalkedbackt othekitchenandopenedt he
fri
dgeandt ookacanofcokeandwentbackt o
theloungewher eIplacedthecanont hecoffee
tableandsatdown.
WhenLami wasful
lIt
uckedinmybr eastand
pl
acedhim onmyshoul dert
henstrokedhis
backuntil
heburped.Icuddl
edhim andst ar
ted
eati
ng.ThandowalkedinandlookedatmeI
j
ustlookedatherandsaidnothi
ng.
Thando:
"I
'm hungr
ytoo"
Me:
"Whyar
eyout
ell
i
ngmeI
'
m noty
ourmot
her
"
Thando:
"Don'
tbecr
uel
"
Ichuckl
edandtookahugebit
eofmysli
ce
whil
estari
ngathersheswal
l
owedspi
t."
I'
m
sorr
ysisKat"
Me:"
Lookwhoiscall
i
ngmesisnow"shecame
tosi
tnextt
ome" mmmmh"Imoanedaschew I
know shel
ovefoodmor
ethananyt
hing
Thando:
"CanIhav
eonesl
i
cepl
ease"Tear
s
gl
ist
enedinherey
es
Me:
"NoThandocanIeatmypi
zzawi
thpeace"
Thando:
"I
m sor
ryokayI'
mreal
l
ysorr
yIacted
i
mpulsiv
eIshouldn'
thav
ewenttot
hepoli
ce"
Me:
"Okay
"
Shestr
etchedherhandtotakeasl
i
ceIslapped
i
thard.Shebursti
ntotear
sandrantoher
bedr
oom.
Mxm umunt uangadl
alauThandoi nkosi
Ihave
beentol
erat
ingherbehavi
orf ort
hewhol e7
monthsI'
mt ir
ednow.Awhi lelat
erIheard
peopl
etalki
ngf r
om t
hekitchenasIwas
bondi
ngwi
thmyson.
PKwalkedi
nwit
habeauti
ful
lady.Igotupand
wentt
ohughim hewr
appedhisarmsaround
us
"
Idi
dn'
texpecty
oubackt
oday
"
PK:
"Char
geswer
edr
opped"
Me:
"Oh.
.ar
eyouokayt
hough"
PK:"YesI'
mf i
nemyloveIj
ustneedashower
"I
plantedakissonhi
sli
pstheladycl
ear
edher
throat.
"Katthi
sPhumlamysist
er.Si
sthi
sis
Khethokuhl
eandThembalami
"
Me:
"Ni
cetomeetyousi
s"Ist
ret
chedmyhand
f
orahandshakeshel
ookedati
twit
hgr
imace
Phuml
a:"
Likewi
se"shesai
dcol
dly
PK:"
Okayl
et'
smehitashower"Hedisappear
ed
l
eavingmewit
hthi
sladywholel
ookedatme
fr
om thet
oesuptothehead
Phumla:
"Iwil
lgiveyouaf reeadvice
KHETHOKUBIsav eyourselffr
om heart
acheand
l
eavemybr otherhehav ehisbeauti
ful,
educat
ed,sophisti
catedgirlf
ri
endhewon't
l
eavehissoul mateforanuneducat edbaby
mamaofsomebi tchnigga"
Ifel
tasharppaini
nmychestIhavenever
heardPKtalki
ngabouthi
sgi
rl
fr
iendyethe
knoweveryt
hingaboutme
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
LastnightLuci
awasi npai
ncryi
ngIcouldn'
t
hearwhatshewassay i
ngsoIgaveher
painki
l
lersandsleepi
ngpil
l
s.Iwonderedwho
moerherl i
kethi
s.
I
twasthefol
l
owingdayIwaswai
ti
ngforherto
wakeupandexpl
aint
omewhatisshedoing
her
e.
Me:"
Openyourmouthboy
"Isai
dtoSbonga
whodidasIsai
dIshoveamouthf
ulspooni
n
hi
smouth.
Hefrownedanddidt
hatbriii
i
iisoundsplat
ter
ing
myfacewithmashpotatoes"Youdoti!unj
alo
phel
amasusuthi
!"Hegiggled
I
namandl
awal
kedi
nandj
oinedSbonga
"
It'
snotf
unny
"Ipl
acedSbongadownont
he
f
loor
Ina:
"I
stoutl
ent
wana"Hesatnextt
omeont
he
couch
andt
ookIna'
sfacecl
othandwi
pedmyf ace
sl
owl
yinacaressi
ngwaywhil
elocki
nghiseyes
onmine
"
I'
mleav
ingnow"
Me:
"Oh"
I
na:
"Mydadjustcal
l
edmeMom i
sadmi
tt
edt
o
t
hehospi
tal
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rywhati
swr
ongwi
thher
"
Ina:"
Hedidntt
ellmebutIcansensei
tsbi
g
Konkemom i snott
hepersonwhobecomes
sick.Whatwil
lIbei
fIloseher
?"hewhisper
ed
thelastpar
t
Me:"
Heyheylookatme"Il i
fteduphisfacewith
hi
schin"Sheisnotgonnadiey oudon'
tknow
whatiswrongwithheryoucan'tthi
nknegati
ve
okay
"Henodded" Mom willbef i
neIwishIcan
gowithyou,youhavebeenv erysupport
ivet
o
me"
Ina:
"I
t'
scool
Iknowy
ouhav
etol
ookaf
tert
his
champ"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lpr
ayf
ory
ourmom"
I
na:"
Thankyou"Wesharedawarmlinger
ing
hugandletgoofoneanot
hersl
owlywhil
eey es
l
ockedoneachother"
Uhm Ishoul
dgetgoing"
Me:
"Uhm y
eahIwi
l
lcal
lyou"
I
na:
"Al
ri
ght
"Hest
oodupandpi
ckedupSbonga
thr
owinghi
mint
heai
randcat
chi
nghi
m agai
n
hegiggl
ed
Me:
"Hewi
l
lvomi
tInaIj
ustf
edhi
m"
I
na:"
Takecar
eofmommyboyneh"Heshowed
hi
m hist
humb"sur
e"Sbongashowedhisindex
fi
ngeri
nst
eadofathumb"Ayiudom boy
"
Me:"
Het
ookaf
tery
ou!
"Hel
aughedandputhi
m
down
I
na:
"Takecar
eofy
our
sel
fokay
"
Me:"Okay"Hef l
ashedhi
sgorgeoussmileand
walkedoutleavingmefeel
i
ngsad.Isighed
heavil
yandtookmyson.Luci awalkedin
wearingmyr obe
Luci
a:"
Mor
ning"shesatont
hesi
ngl
ecouch
Me:
"I
t'
sar
ound12al
ready
"
Luci
a:"
OhIsl
eptt
hatl
ong"
Me:
"Yeah"
Luci
a:"
Uhm"shecl
ear
edhert
hroat"
LookI
'
m
sorr
ytocomeunannouncedi nfactIshoul
dn't
havecameher ebutIhadnowher etogoI'
m
sorr
yKonkef orev eryt
hingIhavedonetoy ou.I
envi
edy ougirlandal l
owedj eal
oustotake
contr
olofmyl ife.I
tmi ghtbetoolat
enowt of i
x
ourfr
iendshipbutIwantt otelly
outhatI'
m
deepl
ysor r
yfrom t hedeepestofmyhear t
."
Me:"Mmh"Idi
dntknowwhattosaythi
sgi
rl
hurtmeasift
hatwasnotenoughshe
thr
eatenedme.
Lucia:
"Iunderst
andIdon'
tdeservetobe
for
given.Pleasegi
vemet odayonlyIwi
l
lleav
e
i
nt hemor ning"
Me:
"Whathappenedt
oyourf
ace"
Lucia:
"Myboyfr
iendbeatmeupsoIranaway
andcameher eIknowhewon'tfi
ndmeherebut
tomorrowIwil
lleaveandl
ookforapl
aceto
staywherehewon'tfi
ndme."
If
eltsor
ryf
orherIdon'
tknowwhyst
upi
dme!
Me:
"Whydon'
tyour
epor
thi
mtot
hepol
i
ce"
Luci
a:"
Hei
sapol
i
ce"
Me:
"Ohy
aneh"
Luci
a:"
Yeah"
Me:"Youcanmakesomet
hingt
oeati
nthe
ki
tchen"
Luci
a:"
Thanky
ou"shegotupandwentt
othe
ki
tchen.
Wespentthedaywat chi
ngmov i
es,chatt
ing
andeati
ngjunkl
ikeoldti
mesitwaski ndafun.
ThatwhenIreal
izedImissedherbutIdon't
thi
nkIwil
levert
rusthersowebetterapart.
Latersheofferedtocooksi nceIcouldn'tstand
fortoolongduet omyi nj
uredlegs.Ibathed
Sbongaasshecooked.Heusual l
yfallasleep
afterhisbat
hbutt odayhewasener get i
cI
regrett
edgivi
nghim mar shmallows.Around7
pm Luci adi
shedupweat ewhilewatchingTV.
Sbongawasdi ggi
ngmyf oodwithhistiny
hands
Me:"
Mh-mhSbonga!"Hest
art
edcr
yingIpl
aced
myfoodontheglasst
abl
eandcal
medhi m
down."
I'
m sor
ryboy"
Luci
a:"
Hei
sacut
eboy
"
Me:
"Hei
shandf
uly
ho"Isai
dput
ti
nghi
m down
Wehear dt hebuzzLuci
awentt oatt
enditf
ew
minuteslaterhewalkedinwit
hamanwhowas
point
ingagunather .Ihaveneverbeen
shockedlikethati
nmywhol eli
fe.
Luci
a:"
Pleasedon'
thur
tme!
"shecr
ied
Guy:"
Youthinkyouwil
lrunawayfrom methen
youarecrazy"hel
aughedoutloudl
ythrowi
ng
hisheadbackhewasdi st
urbbySbongawho
heldhisl
egtryi
ngtostandwit
hhim
Me:
"Sbonga!
"
Guy:
"Ohpret
tyboy
"Hepickedhi
m upSbonga
st
art
edtouchi
nghisgun.
Me:"
Pleasedon'
thurthimIm beggi
ngyou"I
sai
dwi t
htear
sthreateni
ngmyey es.
Guy:
"Youl
ovegunsnehboy"Itr
iedt
ostandup
wit
hmycrutches"
Sitdowncoconut
!"
Me:
"Okayokay
"Isatdown
Luci
a:"
BhekiI
'
m sorryyoucangowi
thmeand
l
eavethem pl
ease"shecri
ed
Theguylookedaroundandputhisgunin
Sbonga'
smout hIswearIpeedasmallpee
Me:"Ohnopleasemandon'
thurthi
m pl
ease"I
beggeddesperat
elyt
ear
sfal
l
ingdownmy
cheeks
Guy
:"Iwant1m t
ransf
err
edt
omyaccountnow!
"
Me:
"Idon'
thav
ethatki
ndofmoney
"
Guy:
"Don'
tfoolmecoconutwhatki
ndof
cel
ebri
tyar
ey ouIknowyouhavemoney
!!
"
Me:
"1m i
stoomuch"
Guy
:"Amaguguay
osal
aemat
huneni
"Hesang
Me:
"OkayIonl
yhav
e800ki
nthesaf
e"
Guy :
"Nowy ouaret al
kingcoconut"Istoodup
withmycr utcheshef oll
owedmet omypar ent
s
room wheret hesafeis.Thankst oMamaf or
advisi
ngmet onotkeepal lofmymoneyi nt he
bank."Hurryup!!hurr
yup! !Iopenedthesafehe
gavememysonandt ookt hemoneywhi l
e
pointi
ngagunatus" By ecoconut"Hegr abbed
Luciaroughlyandmadehi swayoutwi thher .I
holdontomyboyandcr ied
Me:"
I'
m sosorr
yboyy ouwitnessedt
hat"Ther
e
wasnowayI '
m sl
eepingaloneIhadtocall
Daddytocomeandf etchus.
•
LUCI
A
•
Helookedsosadgulpi
nghiswhi
skeyashewas
i
nthebalconyst
ari
ngatthevi
ew.
Iwal
kedt
ohi
m andhuggedhi
mfr
om behi
nd
sni
ff
inghi
slov
elyscent
.
Me:
"Don'
tbesadmyl
ove"
Mvel
o:"
Sheismysi
stery
ouknowandIf
eel
bad
werobbedher
"
Me:
"St
epsi
ster
"
Mvelo:
"TheSTEPwor
ddoesn'
tmakeherl
esser
i
mpor t
ant.Shei
smyonl
yfami
lyIhav
elef
twith
youknow"
Me:"Forgetabouthershehurtyoubaby
togetherwit
hherfather.Yourpar
ent
sdied
becauseoft hem yougotmenowandourbaby .
"Iturnedhim ar
oundandmadehi mtouchmy
stomach" You,meandherwegoi ngtobefine.
CapeTowni scal
li
ngusbaby !!
"
Hesmi
l
edf
aint
ly
Mv el
oandIhav
ebeentoget
herformonthsnow
theboyi
stoodamageIgothim eat
ingi
nmy
palm
Idon'
tknowI
fIcansayKonkei
sst
upi
dorwhat
butyeahwepl annedt hattogethersot hatwe
canhav emoney .Aftermyaunt '
spassi ngmy
l
ifechangedimmensel yhersisterkickedme
outofAunty'shouseandsol dthehouse.Iwas
l
efthomelesssinceIl ongerhadj ob.Zol ani
hir
edmet empor aril
yandhi sfami l
ymadesur e
noonegeti nhishousesoIf oundj obatt he
salonthat
'swhenMv eloandIgotcl oserashe
camet odohi shaironedayi nthatsal on.
Hehadmoneyt hatt
ime,moneyhismamal ef
t
forhi
m sothathowwehavebeenlivi
ng
toget
heri
nKonke'shouseatSandt
onwithout
herknowl
edge.
Andnowt hatI '
m pr egnantwithhisbabyt here's
nowayI 'ml etti
nghi m go.Hedoesn' tknowt hat
I
'mt heoneZol ani cheatedwithIguessKonke
didn'
ttellhim allheknowi sthatZolanicheat ed
onhissi sterthathowt heybrokeup.Iknewi t
thatZolani'sdisappear ancegottodowi t
h
Konke!Mv elotoldmewhathappenedandt hat
bastar
dKonke' sf athernobuhlekil
ledhim.I
havebeent r
yingtof i
ndanyev idencethatwill
l
inktothatbast ar
dbuthecov eredhi
st rack
andheisunt ouchablet hatonebutIwon' tgive
upIgottafi
ndsomet hingt hatwi l
lmakehim
payatl
eastZol anideservej usti
ce.Totellyou
thetr
uthIlovedZol aniitsonlynowIr eali
ze
andImissedhi m somuch.
Mv
elo:
"Iguessy
ouar
eri
ghthoney
"
Me:"
I'
m al
way sr
ightsthandwasami"Heplaced
hi
sglassdownandpi ckedmeupweki ssedas
hemadehiswayt oourbedroom oopsImean
Konke'
sbedroom.
.
.
Thanky
oununuzakagogol
i
kecommentand
shar
e
[
05/
31,
20:
08]W:
28
KHETHOKUHLE
•
TWOWEEKSLATER
Aft
erwhatMzwakhedi dtomeInev erthoughtI
wil
lloveagai
nbuthereIam todaydeeplyi
nlove
wit
ht hi
sMngomezuluguygoshhemakemy
worl
dgoar ound.Nomat t
erhowIt r
yto
suppressmyfeeli
ngsforhim Ij
ustfai
ldi
smally
.
Hisloveisgainingweightev erydayandnowi t
s
obesescar yItell
you.Imf al
lingforhi m ev ery
si
ngledayandIhat ethatwhenIf allinl
ov eIf al
l
hardtoapoi ntthatIdon'tseemy selfli
ving
wit
houtt hatperson.Idi
dn'twantt oseemy self
i
nt hatpositi
onagaincozwhent hingstur n
southItdestroythehelloutofmebutwi t hPK
i
t'
saut omat i
call
yhappensandIcan' tcontr oli
t.
Idi
dn'
taskhi
m aboutwhathi
ssi
stersai
d.
Hisleaveisov ersoi smine,t
heal ar
m hadj ust
wentoff.Iwasl yingontopofhi swar m naked
bodyhismanl yar mswr appedaroundmybody
makingmef eelloved,prot
ected,safeand
untouchable,notev endeathnorpaincant ouch
me.Crazyhuh?Iknowbutt
hathowIal
way
s
f
eeli
nhi sar
ms.
Me:
"Doy
ouhav
etogo"
PK:"
Yesmyl
oveIhav
ebeenawayf
oramont
h
now"
Me:"
Butyouar
ethebossbabyy
oucant
ake
anot
herl
eave"
PK:"
It
sdoesn'
twor
kli
kethatsweet
hear
tIhav
e
shar
ehol
derst
orepor
tto"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
ou"
PK:
"ButI
'
m her
e"
Me:
"Youar
eleav
ingme"
PK:
"Iwi
l
lbebackont
heweekendmyKi
tKat
"
Me:
"That
'sadecade"
PK:
"Heyl
ookatme"
Itsaddenmet hatheisl
eavi
ngIwishhenev er
hadt ogo.Ican'
tgetenoughofhi
spresenceit
's
addicti
ve
Il
i
ftedmyheadupandl
ookedathi
m
"I
'
m alway
swi
thy
ouev
enwhenI
'
m nother
e
okay
"
Inoddedcl
osi
ngmyey eshidi
ngtear
sthat
wantedtof
all
."Don'
tcryst
handwasami y
ou
makemesad"
Me:"I
'
m notcryi
ng"Iswal
lowedandopenedmy
gl
assyeyes.Icuppedhi
sf aceandki
ssedhi
m
passi
onatel
yhemoanedsqueezi ngmy
butt
ocks
PK:
"Il
ovey
ou"Hewhi
sper
edopeni
nghi
sey
es
sl
owly
Me:
"Iknow"
Heti
ckl
edmeIgi ggl
edandwi
ggledmysel
f
f
rom hi
m hegotontopofmeti
ckli
ngmemore
"
Ba.
.by
"
PK:
"Isai
dIl
ov eyou"Hedi
dn'tstopt
ickl
i
ngmeI
l
aughedunt
ilIwasoutofbreath
Me:"I
..
.l
ove.
..you.
..
too"Hestopt
ickl
i
ngmeand
bur
iedhimselfonmybr east
PK:
"Iwi
shwecanst
ayl
i
ket
his"
Me:"
Met oo"Isai
drunni
ngmyfi
ngert
ipssl
owl
y
fr
om hi
snapedownt ohisf
oror
o"Let
'
sgetupI
don'
twanttobelate"
PK:
"I
'm st
il
lenj
oyi
ngt
hismomentmyl
ove"
Me:
"Iknowbabybut
..
."
PK:
"Fi
vemi
nut
esonl
y"
Me:
"Fi
vemi
nut
es"
Wedr i
ftedintoasweetsilenceaf terf ew
mi nut eswegotupandmadet hebedt ogether
thenwewentt otakeashower .Af terour
hygi enepr ocesswel ot
ionedanddr essedup.I
wor eabl ackpants,whit
eshirtandbl ack
car digan.PKwasi nablackjean, bluel ecoq
spor tifvneckt -
shirt
,gr
eylecoqspor t
iflight
j
acketandbl ackpumasneaker s.Lami wasst i
ll
sleepi nginhiscotwebot hkissedhi mt henwe
wentt
otheki
tchenwher
eImadeuscor
nfl
akes.
PK:
"Cor
nfl
akes?
"Her
aisedhi
sbr
ow
Me:
"Yes"
PK:"
Iwantr
eal
breakf
astbabycornf
lakeswi
l
l
vani
shinmyst
omachi nasecond"
Me:"
Men!"Hetookadishclothandthr
ewi
ton
meIlaughedandworeanapr onbef
ore
pr
epari
nghisEngl
ishbreakf
ast.
PK:
"Whyyouhaven'
tusethemoneyIsendev
ery
month"Hesend10kever
ymonth
Me:
"Youwer
egoi
ngt
hroughmyf
inanci
alsnow"
PK:"Katwhyareyoudoingt
hist
omehuh"he
soundedsohur tmaki
ngmet ost
opwhatIwas
doingandlookedathi
m
Me:
"Whatdi
dIdoPhakamani
"
PK:"
Yousayy
oul
ovemeandy
ouwanttobe
wit
hmebutyout
reatmel
i
key
oudon'
tneed
me"
Me:
"That
'snott
ruePKIdoneedy
ou"
PK:"Thenactlikeit
,al
lowmet obemor et hen
j
usty ourfuckfri
end.Youar emywomanKat
whichmakey oumyr esponsibi
li
tytogetherwith
oursonandy oursi
ster.Whydowantt ocarry
theloadony ourownwhenI '
m herewithy ou.I
hateitthatyoualwayscompar emewi t
ht hat
doucheofy ourexboy fri
end.
St
oppuni
shi
ngmeforanot
herguy'
ssinsand
al
l
owmet obet
hemany oudeser
ve.
"
Me:"I
'
m sorryokaybutyouhavetounderstand
thati
tisnoteasyformetotrustanybodydon'
t
pushitPKitwil
lhappenonitownt i
me"
PK:"
Itwon'thappencozyouarenotgi v
ingita
chanceKat.Ifyoucanst
artbyforgett
ingthat
boymay beitwill
beeasy
.Mzwakhei salways
onyourmindt hat'
swhyyouwillnevermov eon
fr
om him"
Me:
"Nohei
snotonmymi
nd"
PK:
"Hei
s"
Me:
"Nohei
snot
!"
PK:
"Don'
tyel
latme!
"
Me:"Idon'
tknowwhatdoyouwantfrom mePK
Ilov
ey oumosdon'
tIshowthatenoughto
you?"
PK:"
Youdobutyoul
oveMzwakhemor
e.You
wishMzwakhewasme"
Me:
"That
'snott
rueIhat
eMzwakhe!
"
PK:"
That'
swhaty oukeeptel
l
ingyourselfKat
.
Youhaven'
tmov edonf r
om Mzwakhel astni
ght
youweremoaninghisnamei nyoursleep"
OhmyGod
Me:
"Idi
d?"
PK:"
YesI '
m notbl
amingyouheisyourfi
rstl
ove
andthefatherofy
ourbabybutIneedtoknowif
Iwil
leverstandachancet
obewi t
hy ou?
"
Iwal
kedt
ohi
m andt
ookhi
shands
Me:"
Youhavemyhear
tPKt
hatwhatIcan
guar
ant
ee"
PK:"
Butnotal
lofy
ourhear
tandt
hat
'
snot
enoughforme"
Me:"
BabyIdon'tl
oveMzwakheanymoremay be
i
tsbecausewehav eunr
esol
vedi
ssuesbetween
meandhi mthati
swhyIdreamtabouthi
m"
PK:
"Youwer
emoani
nghi
sname!
"heshout
ed
Me:"
Don'
tshoutatme!Iwassleepi
nghow
woul
dhaveIcontrol
thathuh?
?"
PK:"
Exact
lyKatyouweredr
eamingabouthi
m
cozheisalwaysonyourmi
nd!
!"
Godwhati
shappeningIknowthatI'
m over
Mzwakheoram Iconvi
nci
ngmy sel
f?How
coul
dIbenotoverhi
m aft
erev
er yt
hinghehas
donetome?
I
'
m supposet
obeov
erhi
m?YaI
'
m ov
erhi
m
r
ight
?
"
Fini
shupYol
andai
scomi
ng"Yol
andai
sthe
nannyIsi
ghedheav
il
y"Iwonderhowwi
l
lshe
tr
eatourson"
Me:"Ofcourseshewil
ltr
eathi
m goodshehav
e
beenwor ki
ngwithbabi
esforal
mostherwhol
e
l
ife"
PK:
"Mhh"
Ibangedt
hecount
er
Me:
"Saywhaty
ouwantt
osayPK!
"
PK:"Whydon'
tyoujustquitLami i
sonlytwo
weeksoldKatalr
eadyy ouareleav
inghimtobe
takencar
ebysomest ranger!
"
Me:
"Godwet
alkedaboutt
hisPK"
PK:"
Let'
sdropi tcozy
oudon'twannaheari
t.I
fai
ltounderstandwhycan'
tyoujustst
ayat
homeandr aiseourchil
dIwil
ltakecar
eof
ever
ythi
ng."
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
odependony
ouPK"
PK:
"WhynotIdon'
tseet
heneedf
ory
out
owor
k
whenI
'
m wor
king"
Me:"HaiboPKIdon'twanttobeahouse
gir
lf
riendminaI
'm sti
ll
youngIhavedr
eamst
o
ful
fi
l.Iwannatr
aveltheworldmakemusi
c"
Hesaidnot
hingIgav
ehim hisfoodthenIsat
downandatemycornfl
akes.Ikeptsteal
i
ng
gl
ancesathi
m hewassupermadandIhat ei
t.
If
ini
shedeat
ingandwentt
owakeLami.I
wantedt
obreastf
eedhi
m bef
oreIgot
owork.
Me:"Askiesmyboymommyhav etofeedy
ou
fi
rstbeforeshegoestowor k"Ichangedhi
s
di
aperfirstbef
orebreast
feedinghim.PK
walkedin
PK:
"Looknowar
eyouabusi
nghi
m heshoul
dbe
sl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"Eyf
uckof
fmaanPKt
hisi
smysonIwil
l
t
akecar
eofhi
minmyownfucki
ngway
!"
PK:
"Ohsor
ry"Hesai
dwi
thal
owv
oiceIbi
temy
l
iphar
d
Me:
"I
m sorr
y..
."Hel
i
ftedhi
shandupst
oppi
ng
mefr
om tal
king.
Heki
ssedLami
'
sfor
ehead
PK:
"Il
oveyouboy..
.youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
nthecar
Yol
andahadarr
ived"Hemadehi
swayout
.
Ist
oodupwit
hLami inmyar
mssuckl
i
ngand
wentt
otheki
cthen.
"
Ify
oudar
ehur
tmysonIwi
l
lki
l
lyou!
"
Yol
anda:
"IwontIswear
"shesai
dwi
thacr
ying
voi
ce.
PKbat
hongnowhei
sthr
eat
eni
ngt
hepoorgi
rl
.
Icl
ear
edmyt hr
oatPKmov edawayfr
om
Yol
andanarr
owinghisey
esather"
Youwil
lfi
nd
meinthecarKat"Hewal
kedout
Me:
"I
m sor
ryaboutt
hatYol
anda"
Yol
anda:
"Iwonthur
tyourbabyKatpl
easet
rust
me"
Me:
"It
rusty
ou.
..
comel
etmeshowy
ou
everyt
hing"Wewenttomybedr oom Ishowed
hereverythi
ngthenwewentbackIshowedher
theformulasandbott
les."
Ichangedhis
diaper
..
.pleasebur
phim"
Yolanda:
"Noprobl
em"Hetookhim It
uckedmy
breastandwenttotakemyphoneandmybag
Me:
"Cal
lmei
fther
e'semeger
ncy
"
Yol
anda:
"Okay
"
Me:
"By
e"Iki
ssedLami
'
sfor
ehead
Thando:
"Hel
losi
s"shesaidasshecamein
weari
ngschoolunif
orm Isai
dnot
hingand
mademywayout .
Ij
umpedi
nPK'
scarhedr
oveof
f.
Thedr
ivewasf
il
ledwi
thcol
dsi
l
ence.
Wear
ri
vedatmywor
kpl
ace,
hepul
l
edof
f.
Me:"I
m sor
ryst
handwasami"(
myl ove)He
i
gnoredmeandsteppedoutofthecarthen
openedmydoor.
Ibreat
hedoutheav
il
yandsteppedoutoft
he
carhecloset
hedoorther
eaft
erhewenttohi
s
si
de.
Igr
aspedhisar
m helookedatmyhandthat
waswrappedaroundhi
sarmt henl
ookedatme
Me:
"Idontwanty
outogowheny
ouar
emadat
meIm sorr
ymybaby
"
PK:
"Ar
eyouf
ini
sh?
"
Me:
"Babycomeon"
Hebr
eat
houtloudl
yandst
aredupi
nthesky
t
henhel
ookedatme
PK:"IloveyousomuchKatt hatitshurtsbutI
wontf orceyoutoloveme. Ididany thi
ngaguy
coulddot oshowagi rlt
hathel ov ehersoIdont
knowwhatt odoany more.Ihav erunoutof
way ssoIhav ecomet oar eal
izationthatno
mat terwhatIcandoy ouwi l
lnev erl
ov emeas
l
ongy ouaresti
ll
inlovewithMzwakhe.Ihol d
nothingagainstyousweethear tIgetitwhenit
comestothi
sl ovethi
ngitswinorl
oseIguessI
l
ost.HaveagreatdayIlov
ey ou"Heki
ssedmy
for
eheadandwentt ohi
sside
Me:"PK"Iwhisperedt
earsrunningdownmy
facehegotinhiscaranddr ov
eof f
.Myhear
t
crumbledKatwhathav eyoudoney ouj
ustl
ost
agoodguyf orthatst
upidbabydaddyofyours!
!!
"Chomeeee!
"sheat
tackedmewi
thahugf
rom
behind
Me:
"HeyToy
a"Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Toy
a:"
Babey
ouar
ecr
ying"shecamei
nfr
ontof
me
Me:"
NoIm not
"If
orcedasmi
l
eIguessIf
ail
ed
cozshesawmethroughi
t
Toya:
"WhathappendisLami
orokay
?PKor
yoursi
sterbar
ightbona?
"
Me:
"PKdumpedme"
Toy
a:"
What?
why
?"
Me:"
HesayIdontlovehi
m butIdoLat
oya.I
l
ovehim somuchthati
tssuff
ocat
ingt
ospend
adaywithouthi
m"
Toya:
"ButyoudontshowitKat
.Youactl
i
key
ou
dontneedhiminyourli
fe.
"
Me:
"Iwasobl
i
vous"
Toya:
"Youknowwhy
?"Ishookmyheadt
ear
s
rol
l
ingdownmyface
"
Youar
est
il
li
nlov
ewi
thMzwakhe"
Me:"
Thatexact
lywhathesai
dbuti
tsnott
rueI
hat
eMzwakhe"
Toya:"
Noy oudonty ouarej ustangr
yathi my ou
cert
ainl
ydonthat ehim.Youneedt omov eon
chomeet hatsbastarddoesntdeser v
ey ourlove
aft
ereverythinghedidtoy ou.Iunderst
andhei s
yourfi
rstthroughevery
thing.Hei shappy
whereverhei swit
hhiswif ewhileyouarelosing
agoodguybecauseofhi m.Lethi m gobabyPK
l
ovey ousomuchgi vehim achancehei sfor
keeps"
Me:
"ButIhav
elosthi
m now"
Toy a:
"Youcantgi veupli
kethaty ouhavetodo
somet hing"Shepul l
edmei nherarms"Im sor
ry
dontcr y
"Wepul l
edoutaftersomet i
met henwe
madeourent rance.Thedayst ar
tedbutmy
mi ndwaswi t
hPK.Ihav eneverseenhim hurt
thewayhewas.Hi sfaceexpressedpai
nmor e
eloquentlythananywor ds"Miss!"
Isnappedoutofi
t
Me:
"Uhm y
es"
Hi
m:"
Howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"I
mfi
nesi
rhowar
eyou"
Him:
"I
m alsofi
ne.Ihavebeenusi
ngdi f
fer
ent
ty
pesoffragr
ancebutIm notsat
isf
iedwhich
onecanyourecommend"Iwasont heti
ll
that
wasnexttofr
agrancestoday
Me:
"I
fImayaskwhyar
eyounotsat
isf
ied"
Hi
m:"
Theydontl
astmet
hroughoutt
heday
"
Me: "
Fragrancesdi
ff
ersaswel lasourbodi es.I
t
dependsonhowdoourbodi esrespondt othe
fragr
ancesweuse.Mostspor tfrangrancesli
ke
ferar
ri,l
acoastel
astlongerbutIm notsay i
ng
othersdontlastl
onger.Youhav etoknowy our
bodywhatt y
peoffragrancedoesi twant.
"
Him:"
Iheary
ouIhav
eusedf
err
ari
andl
acost
e
befor
e"
Me:"Iwillr
ecommendy ouav ersaceeros.
Smel l
slovelyandsophisicat
edandi tslast
l
ongert henaday ."Itookthefragranceand
sprayeditontopofmyhandt henrubit"How
doesitsmel l
"Hebr oughthisnoseonmyhand
Hi
m:"
Per
fect
!Il
i
kei
t!
"
Me:"
Iswearev
ery
onewi
l
lbet
urni
ngwi
thy
ou
wherev
eryougo"
Hi
m:"
Exact
lywhatIwant
."
Me:
"Wheny
ousmel
lgoodi
tsboosty
our
conf
idenceandmakey
ouf
eel
good"
Him:
"Youknowyourworkgi
rl
..
.Iwantt
obuy
anot
heroneformygi
rl
fr
iendwhichoneshoul
dI
buy"
Me:
"Dol
ce&Gabbanal
i
ghtbl
ue"
Hi
m:"
Howabouty
our
syousmel
lheav
enl
y"
Me:"
Thanky
ou.
..
doesy
ourgi
rl
fr
iendl
i
ke
f
lowers?
"
Hi
m:"
Yes"
Me:"
Wellmi
nei
sguccif
lor
ahere"Igavehi
mthe
f
ragr
ance.Wewentt
othetil
lhepaid
Hi
m:"
Thanky
oukeept
hechange"
Me:
"Thanky
ouhav
eagr
eatday
"Ismi
l
ed
Hi
m:"
Yout
ooMissMhlongo"Hesai
dlooki
ngat
mynamet
agt
henheleft.
Me:"Next
"Thewhitel
adywasbusyonher
phonenotreal
i
zingit
shertur
nngal
oyomzuzu
I
m notinthemood.Workingwit
hpeopl
eis
t
ir
ingyouhav etosmil
eeveni
fyoudontwantt
o
"
Nextplease"Isai
dloudl
y
shel
ookedupandsmi
l
ed,
maki
ngherwayt
o
myti
ll
Her
:"
Goodmor
ning"
Me:
"Mor
ningma'
am"
Her
:"
Im sor
ryaboutt
hat
"shesmi
l
ed
Me:"Nopr obl
em ma'am...
didyousawour
special
,wheny oubuy100ml ofthi
sfr
agr
ance
youwi l
lgetafreet
oilet
rybag"
Her
:"
No"
Me:"
Letmeshowy ou"Iwentt
otaket
he
fr
agr
ance"Youwi l
lpayR150extr
aonl
y.This
oneisper
fectcozitsal
sohaveashowergel
andabodyloti
on"
Her:
"OkayIwi
l
ltake100ml
youcant
akeback
50ml"
Me:
"Sur
e"Shepai
d
Her
:"
Thanky
oukeept
hechange"
Me:"
Thanky
ouhav
egr
eatday
"Igav
ehert
he
pl
asti
c
Her
:"
Samet
oyou"shesmi
l
edandwal
kedout
.
ThewholedaythatwhatIwasdoingforci
ngthe
smil
euntil
Ireci
evedacalli
nfor
mingthatIhave
togotothehospit
alThandohavebeen
admit
ted
Itol
dthemanageralthoughshewasbi
tchy
aboutitbutshel
etmego.Shei sl
iket
hatvel
e
soIdidntmindher.
Toy
a:"
Cal
lmewheny
ougett
her
e"
Me:
"Okay
"
Il
eftandt
ookacabt
othehospi
tal
Uponarr
ivalIenqui
redandthebitchwasjust
gi
vingmet r
ouble"I
m hersi
sterdammit!
"
Her:
"Idi
dntsayyouar
enothersi
stersi
tdownI
wil
lgetbackaty
ouIm st
il
lbusy
!"
Me:
"Busywi
thwhat?Chatti
ngtel
lmewher
ethe
f
uckismysi
ster
!"Ibangedherdesk
"MissMhl ongo"sai
dafami
l
iarv
oicebehi
ndme
Iturnedandlookedathi
m.I
twasThando's
classteacher
Me:
"Ohuhm gr
eet
ingssi
r"
Hi
m:"
Teboho.
.pl
easecal
lmeTeboho"
Me:
"Ok-
aywhathappenedt
omysi
ster
"
Hi
m:"Thest
udent
sfoundherunconci
ousi
nthe
t
oil
et"
Me:
"OhGodwher
eisshenow"
Him:
"Theyar
ebusywi
thher
..
.ohher
e'sher
doct
or"
Doc:
"ThandoMhl
ongo"
Me:
"I
m hersi
sterhowi
sshe?
"
Doc:"Ther
e'snogl ucoseinherbl
ood.Miss
Mhlongohav enthadf oodforday
s.Wit
hout
mineral
sandv it
ami nsthebodysyst
em shut
down"
Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Me:"
Ohshedi dment
ionsomet
hingabout
wanti
ngtolosewei
ghtIdi
dntt
hinkshewil
l
st
arveher
self"
Il
iedobvi
ously
.WhatwasIsupposetosay.Oh
Imtheonewhoi sst
arv
inghercozshei
srude.
Nothatsabigno.
Doc:"
Goingday swi
thoutf
oodi snotheal
thyand
canleadtodeath.Missmhlongohavenor mal
weightforheragesheshouldn'
tworryabout
weight"
Me:
"CanIseeher
"
Doc:
"Yesofcour
se"HeledustoThando'
sward
"
Iwil
lkeepherfortoni
ghtanddi
schar
geheri
n
t
hemor ni
ning"
Me:
"Okayt
hanky
ou"
Het
henwentt
ocar
ryonwi
thhi
srounds
"
Thanky
ouf
orbr
ingi
ngher
"
Tebeho:
"Noproblem shei
sabri
ghtst
udentI
betshetookaft
erhersist
er"
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Ofcour
se"
Teboho:
"Youar
eabeaut
if
ull
adyMi
ssMhl
ongo"
Me:
"Thanky
ousi
r"
Teboho:
"Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouspaceIwi
l
lwai
tfory
ou
outi
si
de"
Me:
"Noi
tscool
youcango"
Teboho:
"Iwantt
ogi
vey
oual
i
ft"
Me:
"Dontwor
ryaboutt
hat
"
Teboho:
"Ii
nsi
st"
Me:
"I
tsf
iner
eal
l
y"
Teboho:
"Iwil
lbewai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"hewi
nkedat
meandwal kedout
.
Il
etoutabr
eat
hthatIdi
dntknowIwashol
ding
andwalkedt
omyl i
tt
lesi
ster'
sbed.Shewas
sl
eepi
ngIgrabbedt
heprovidedchai
randsat
down.
Me: "I
m sorryslaybabemar anaweawuzwa"I
tookherhandandki ssedi t"YouknowIdi dthi
s
topuni shyouf ordi srespect ingme.Iwast i
red
ofy ourbehav i
oury ouneededt olearnt o
respectmeagai n.IknowIdi sappoi ntedy oufor
fall
i
ngpr egnantbuty ourbehav i
ourwas
unnecessar y.Ineededy oursuppor tmor ethan
anyonei nthiswor ldbuty out urnedagai nstme.
It
shur tsThandoi t
shur tsomuch.Ihav ealways
beensuppor t
ivetoy oubuty ouf ail
edt oreturn
thef avouri
nsteady ouj udgedmeandi nsulted
me.Af tereverythingIhav edonef ory ou.Ihav e
neverf el
tunappr eciat edliket hati nmywhol e
l
ife.Youknowi tsf unnyy oudi dntl i
ket heway
Mzwakhet reatedmebuty ety oudi dthe
same. ..
."
"I
m sor
ry"Sheopenedherey
estearsf
allont
he
si
desofherface"I
mr eal
l
ysorr
y"Shesatup
strai
ght" Iwasabi tchandIdonthav ean
excuse.Iwant edy out okil
lyourbabybecauseI
couldntst andtheregretofabor t
ingmine.I
knowt hatyouthinkitswast hebestdecisi
on
butifitwast henwhyi si
thaunt i
ngme?Ev ery
singlenightIdream aboutacr y i
ngbabywhenI
trytotakehi m hevanishes.Ifitwasthebest
decisionwhydoIr egrettaki
ngi t
?Dontyou
thinkhedeser vedtol i
ve?"
Me:
"Whydi
dnty
out
ell
meal
loft
hisThando?
"
Thando:"
Idi
dntwanttoworryy
ousi
sandI
thoughti
twi
llbeoversoon"
Me:"Worryme?Soy
out
houghti
tsbet
tert
o
di
srespectme?"
Thando:
"Iknowi
tsst
upi
dandI
m sor
ry"
Me:"
Youdor
eal
i
zet
hatweal
mostl
osteach
ot
her?"
Thando:
"YesIdoandIm sorr
y.Imissmysl
ay
Queen.Imissyourst
ori
es,Imisssi
ngi
ngwit
h
you.Imi ssthewhol eofy ou.Iappr eci
ate
everythingyouaredoi ngformesi sandIknow
youlov emet oomuchsomehowIt ook
advant ageofthat.Forthesepassedt woweeks
Isawhowdi f
fi
cul
tlifeiswi t
houty ou.I
m
nothingwi t
houtyouMabhebhepl easef i
ndi
tin
yourhear tt
of or
giveme.Ipr omisey oumy
respectasl ongasI m sti
l
l breat
hing.Ilovey
ou
neverdoubtt hatnomat t
erwhat .Im soso
sorry"shesobbed
Myhear
tbr
okehowdi
dImi
sst
his?
Igotupfr
om thechairandt
ookoffmyheel
s
thansl
idnexttoher
.Igaveherabonecr
ushi
ng
hugGodImi ssedhersomuch.
Me:"
Imissy
ousomuchandIf
orgi
vey
oubut
pr
omisemeonethi
ng?
"
Thando:
"Any
thi
ngsi
s"
Me:"
Youwi
llt
alkt
omewhent
her
e'ssomet
hing
bot
heri
ngy
ou"
Thando:
"Ipr
omi
se"
Me:"
Youdidnothi
ngwr ongbyaborti
ngyour
babystopabusi
ngyoursel
f.I
twil
lnotdoany
good.Youdidwhatyouhadtodof orbothof
you.
Iknowheholdnothingagai
nstyou"
Thando:
"Iguessy
ouar
eri
ght
"
Me:"
YesI
mr i
ght
"Iwi
pedhertear
s"st
opcr
ying
nowyouknowmommyhateitwhenyoucr
y"
Shegi
ggl
ed
Thando:
"Mommy
"
Me:
"Youar
emyf
ir
stbor
nnzeee"
Thando:
"Gl
adtohearLamihaventt
ookmy
pl
aceother
wiseIwil
lpi
nchhisbutt
"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Letmegof
astgety
ousomet
hingt
oeat
"
ShebeamedIl
aughed
"Youandf
oodj
ehov
aIwonderwher
edoesi
t
go"
Thando:
"Tomyhi
psandbut
tduh"
Me:
"Ohy
eah.
..
bef
oreIgocanIask?
"
Thando:
"Yes"
Me:
"Wer
eyousaf
ewi
tht
hatboy
"
Thando:
"Wedi
dnt
"
Myhear
tski
ppedabeat
Me:
"NoThandoy
oucoul
dbepr
e..
."
Thando:
"ImeanwedidnthavesexIcoul
dntdo
i
t.Wetri
edbutIhadaflashback"
Me:"
OhIm sor
ryshoul
dIgety
ousomeonet
o
t
alkto"
Thando:
"No"
Me:"
Comeont
alki
ngt
oapr
ofessi
onal
wil
lhel
p
you"
Thando:
"I
m notacoconut
"
Me:
"Ther
api
stsar
enotf
orcoconut
sonl
yt.
..
"
Thando:"Isaidno!
..
.I
m sor
ryIdi
dntmeant
o
shout"Isighedheavi
lyandjumpeddownf
rom
t
hebed"
Sis"
Me:
"Mmh"Isai
dwear
ingmyheel
s
Thando:
"Lookatme"Il
ookedather"
Im sor
ry"
Me:"
ItsokayThandoIwi
l
lbebacknow"Iki
ssed
herfor
eheadandmademywayout .If
ound
Tebohowaiti
ngformeIhuf
fed.Hecameoutof
hi
scarwi t
hMcDspaperbag
Teboho:
"I
m sur
eyoursi
sterwi
l
lneedt
his"
Me:
"ThanksIguess"
Teboho:
"Mypl
easur
egor
geous"Iwenti
nsi
de.
Thando:
"Thatwastv
eryf
ast
"
Me:
"Yourcl
asst
eacherboughti
t"
Thando:
"Mmht
ryi
ngt
oimpr
essIsee"
Me:
"Howdoy
ouknowt
hat
"
Thando:
"Ihear
dhi
m compl
ement
ingy
ou"
Me:"
Youaresneaky.
..
Ihav
etogonowvi
sit
ing
hour
sareover
.Yolandawil
lfet
chy
out
omor r
ow
mor
ning"
Thando:
"OkayIl
ovey
ou"
Me:"
Ilov
ey outoo"Ikissedherl
ipsandwal
ked
out
.Godt hisTebohoguycanhel eav
emealone.
Hewasst il
lwait
ingformewi t
haopeneddoor
oft
hepassengerseat .
Tebeho:"
Geti nmyl ady"Irol
ledmyey es
i
nwar dl
yandst eppedi nsi
det hecar.Heclosed
i
tandwentt ohi sside.Hegoti nandst ar
tedt he
carthendroveof f.Icheckedmyphonehopi ng
tofi
ndPK' smi ssedcal lsormessagebutdol olo.
Heusuallycallmewhenhear ri
ves.Idecidedt o
cal
lhim, hisphoner angwi t
hnoanswer .
Itri
edsev eralti
mesandr eci
evedthesame
resul
t.Myhear tcr
umbledint
opieces.It
ext
ed
Latoya,i
nf ormingheraboutThando'
ssit
uat
ion.
"Howi sthel i
tt
leone"
Me:
"Hei
sfi
ne"
Teboho:
"CanIhav
eyourt
ens"
Me:
"No"
Teboho:
"Why
?"
Me:"
Ihav
eaboy
fri
endIdontwantt
roubl
e
bet
weenus"
Teboho:
"Okay
"Ther
estoft
hedr
ivewassi
l
ence.
Me:"
Thankyoufort
her
ide"Iwassur
pri
sedhe
knowwhereIst
ay
Teboho:
"Noproblem Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
"He
winkedanddr
ov eoff
.
Iwentupandmademywayi
n.
Iwal
kedtothel
oungeasIhear
dvoi
cesone
bel
ongedtoPhumla.
Me:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Phuml
a:"
Whuuatl
astnannygi
veusaspace"
Yol
andawal
kedoutwi
thmyson.
Phumla:
"Her
e"Shet
hrewt
hespor
tbagonmy
feet
Me:
"Whati
sthi
s"
Phumla:
"Openi
t"It
hrewmybagont
hecouch
andopenthebag.
Ial
mostfaint
edIhaveneverseensomuch
doughinmylif
e."1.
5m wi
ththatmoneyyoucan
goawaystartanewbeaut
ifull
ifewi
thyour
si
sterandson."
Me:
"Ohi
nexchangeofwhat
?"
Phumla:
"Youst
ayt
hef
uckawayf
rom my
br
other!
"
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
TWOWEEKSLATER
Icouldheartheannoyingsoundofmyringing
phone.Igroanedandopenmyoneey et
hen
stret
chedmyhand, takingi
t.Myhear
tskippeda
bitwhenIlearntwhoiscall
ing.
Me:
"Hel
l
o"Isai
dgr
oggi
l
y
I
na:
"I
m out
sidepl
easeopenup"
Me:"
Okay"Ihungupandswi tchedonmyside
l
ampt hengotupf r
om thebed.Ipul
l
edarobe
andworemysl eeperst
henshuffl
edmyfeett
o
themainexi
t.
Iopenedthedoort
herehewasstandi
ngonmy
doorstoophi
sheadleanedagai
nstt
hefr
ame
"
Comein"Imadeaspaceforhimtocomei
n
t
hencl
osedthedooraf
ter
."I
t'
s3inthemor
ning
I
namandl
a..
."Hecutmeshort
Ina:"
Icouldn'
tst
ayawayfr
om y
out
hisl
ongI
mi ssyou"Hestandsocl
osedt
omemyheart
startedbeati
ngfast
.
Me:"
Imissyoutoo"Helif
tedmychi
nupwit
hhi
s
i
ndexfi
ngerstar
ingdeepinmyeyesasi
fhe
wassearchi
ngsomething.
Hebr
oughthi
sli
pscloset
omineatthat
momentmyheartwasscr
eaminggugunon
stop.Hepul l
edmecl oset ohi
sbodyt hatI
stoodwi t
hmyt oes.Hismi ntbreathagainstmy
facesentshiversdownmyspi ne."Kissme
please"Ibeggeddesper atelywithinmy self
.It
l
ikeher eadmymi ndcozhest artedlicki
ngmy
l
ipsincircul
armot ionhepar tedthem wi thhis
toungeandki ssedt heli
vinghelloutofme.I
clenchedonhi sbikerjacketashedeepenedt he
kisshistoungedanci nginmymout h.
HepickedmeupIcl ampedmyl egsar
oundhis
waistasIwrappedmyarmsar oundhi
sneck.I
fel
thiscol
dhandssqueezingmybuttmindyou
Iwasnakedunderneatht
her obe.
Hewalkedwi
thmet ot
hebedroom heuse
whenheisvi
sit
ingmeandgentl
ylaymeonthe
bed.
Helookedatmewi t
hhisdar
kredey esandgot
ontopofmegivingmybodyattent
ionthati
t
hasn'tr
ecei
vef
ormonths.Heslowl
yt ookof
f
myr obeashesuckedonmyneck.
From mynecktomybr eastgivi
ngt
hem a
squeezeandatounge.Moansofpleasure
escapedmymout hashet rai
l
edwetkisses
downt omystomachzeroingonmynav el.If
elt
asuddenrushengulf
ingmywhol ebody.
Hefi
nall
ymadeittothepal
aceandnuzzl
ed
agai
nsti
tbef
oreblowingwar
minitcausi
ng
ti
ngl
ysensat
ion.
Hesl
it
her
edhistoungeinmynunfrom mycl
it
downtomyholegoingupagai
nthendown.
Damni tf
eltsoamazi ngIgaspedashedr ov
e
histoungedeeperinquickst r
okes.Ifel
tmy
thi
ghsandmybut ttensedasahugewav e
gusheddownt omyl owerbodywi t
htoomuch
force.Mywhol ebodyjerkedviol
entl
yI
screamedhi snamegr aspinghishead.
"Konke!
..
.Konke!
"Heshookmer
oughl
yIj
umped
up
Me:
"Da.
.dadwhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"
Dad:
"Whatdoy
oumeant
hisi
smyhouse"
Il
ookedar
oundt
hatwhenIr
eal
i
zedIwas
dr
eaming
Me:
"Fuck!
"Il
etoutagr
uffwhi
sper
Dad:
"I
'm goi
ngnow"
Me:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Dad:"
Pret
ori
aIt
oldy
ouy
est
erdaypr
incessy
ou
for
got?"
Me:"Ohyes"Iwassti
l
ldi
zzyf
rom t
heorgasm I
hadinmydr eam "
Whenaret
heyoper
ati
ng
Sihl
e'smom? "
Sihl
e'
smom havegallst
onessot
heyhav
eto
removehergal
l
bladder.
Dad:
"TomorrowandyouknowhowSihleis,she
l
iket
oov erstr
esssoIneedt
obether
ef orher
andIal
somi ssmyson"
Me:
"Pl
easeki
sshi
mforme"Hesmi
l
ed
Dad:
"Iwi
l
ldo"
Me:
"Wher
eisSbonga"
Dad:
"Phil
il
ejustfi
nishedfeedi
nghi
m Ithi
nkshe
i
sbathinghim now"Phili
l
ei smydad'
shelper
Me:
"Okayt
rav
elsaf
e"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead
Dad:
"I
fyouneedany
thi
ngcal
lme"
Me:
"Act
ual
l
yIdoneedsomet
hing"
Dad:
"OhGod"Her
oll
edhi
sey
esIcoul
dn'
thel
p
butl
augh
Me:
"Comeony
ousai
dImustt
ell
you"
Dad:
"Let
'shearwhatdoy
ouwant
"
Me:"YourblackcardI mtiredofthi
scutnowI
havemour nedf ormypar entsforal
mostay ear
.
Iwannadomyhai randofcour sedosome
shoppingny ana.Yourgrandsonisgr owi
ng
ever
y daysomeofhi scl
othesnol ongerf
ithi
m
now"
Dad:
"Day
li
ghtr
obber
yyouhav
emoneyKonke"
Me:"Lucia'
sboyfri
endcleanedmedaddyandI
wassav ingthatmoneyt obuysharesi
nthat
fav
our i
tehotelofyour
s.Itwasgoingtobe
Sbonga's18thbirt
hdaypr esent
"
Dad:"
Ohmany ousti
l
lgotti
methoughhe
haven'
ttur
nedoneandthebout
iquei
sdoi
ng
good."
Me:"
Talkingaboutt
heboutiqueIwantSi
hle's
t
winsisterandItoopenabout i
quein
Newcastlecanyoupleaseputinsomewor ds
f
orme"
Dad:
"Nononopr
incessIcan'
t"
Me:"
Comeonwhynottheyhav
eaccept
edy
ou
nowsowhat
'st
heprobl
em"
Dad:"
Youhavenoideawhatittookmef ort
hem
toacceptme.Canyouimaginemengiguqela
enyendodaJesus!
"(I
maginemekneelingdown
foranot
herman)Ilaughedsohard
Me:
"Youl
i
e"
Dad:"
Ilookedli
kea10yearol
dbegginghis
daddytoallowhimtogoplay
"Icoul
dn'tst
op
l
aughing
Me:"
Whowouldhavethoughtu-
VinVi
n
wabant
wanagrov
eli
ng."
Dad:"
Sewyaphaphamanje"Henar
rowedhis
eyesmaki
ngmel aughmore.Het
ookthepi
ll
ow
andhitmewithit
Me:"
I'
m sorr
ybutIwishIwasther
e
ngi
kudi
vidi
ye"Isai
dlaughi
nghehitmehar
d
wit
hapill
ow" Ouhh"
Dad:"
Youhav
enor
espectchi
l
dlaughi
ngaty
our
fat
her"
Me:"
That'
swascut
ethoughSi
hlei
sthel
ucki
est
gi
rli
ntheworl
d"
Dad:
"St
opl
aughi
ng!
"
Me:
"OkayI
'
mI.
.I
"Ist
art
edl
aughi
ngagai
n
Dad:
"Wewill
seewherewi
ll
yougett
hebl
ack
car
d.Goodbye"Het
hrewt
hepil
l
owandmade
hi
swayt
othedoor
Me:"Okay
...
okayI'
m notl
aughi
ngany
mor e
daddysee"Ipressedmyli
psti
ght
lyt
ryi
ngso
hardnottolaugh.
Het
urnedandl
ookedatme
Dad:
"By
e"
Me:
"Daddypl
ease"
Dad:
"Iwi
l
lleav
eitonmyv
ani
tyt
abl
e."
Me:
"Thanky
ouMt
hondoWet
husi
"Hechuckl
ed
Dad:"Outofal
lthecl
ansdi
dyouhav
echoose
thatoneuboli
l
ewenangane"(y
ouarer
ott
en
chil
d)
Igi
ggl
ed"Wakeupnowsothaty
ouwil
lst
op
hav
ingwetdr
eamsaboutI
namandl
a"
Myey
esshotup
Me:
"Ba"(
Dad)
Dad:
"Youhear
dmeIhopewhatev
erthatis
goi
ngonbetweent
hetwoofyouwil
lstayin
yourdr eamsf orever .Wecan' tbothbei na
rel
ationshi pwit
hsi blingsli
kewear eactingthe
boldandbeaut i
ful.Hai bowhatwi l
lpeoplesaya
fat
herandadaught erseeingsiblingsnonono"
Witht hatsaidhewal kedout.Itookthepi l
l
ow
andcov eredmy selfwi thi
t.Dammi tKonke!You
don'tlearndoy ou?Whatki ndofagi r
lareyou
huh?Ev er
yt i
mey oumeetaguyy ouf al
linlove
withhi m ha.apullyour sel
ftogether!
Myinnerv
oicer
epri
mandedmeIgr oanedand
r
oll
edoutofbedIwasnolongerusi
ngcrutches.
Imadet
hebedandtookoffmypjst
henwent
t
omybathr
oom wher
eItookalongshower
.
Mymi ndwasr eeli
ngwi ththoughts.HowcouldI
l
etthi
shappen.I naisy oungerthenmeandhe
i
smyf ather'
sf iancée'sbrother
.Ohy eshe
pr
oposedaf terherf ami l
yacceptedhim.They
ar
eget t
ingmar ri
edinDecember .Besi
dethat
nj
edidn'tIvowt omy selftonevereveragai
n
i
nvolv
emy selfwi t
haguy ?
ButInamandlaisdiff
erentguysunalant
omaan
yabonamosl anto.Hisbowlegs, hi
sdishybuff
body,hi
sey es,
hishuskyv oi
ce,hisl
ips,
heis
l
ikeapaintedpictur
eofanar t.Toomuchper i
periIt
ell
you.
KONKE!KONKE!STOPI
T!Isl
appedmy
sel
fhar
d
Me:
"Ouuuh"Ir
ubbedmycheekandgi
ggl
ed.
Iswit
chedof fthewaterandgotoutt
henIwent
tothebedroom buttnaked.It
ookatoweland
dri
edmy selfthensmearedlot
iononmybody.
Igotdressedinablackpant
s,mar
oonbelow
kneejerseykni
ttopandnudeheel
s.Ispr
ayed
mycutandcombedi t.
Iappli
edmakeupandnudel i
psti
ckbef or
e
i
nserti
nggoldear i
ngswhichmat chedwi t
hmy
goldwatchwrist.Ispr
ayedthefragranceint
he
ai
randwal kedthroughthemi st
.Ilookedmysel
f
i
nt hemirr
orandwi nkedIlookedhoty azi
n.
It
ookmyhandbagandmycarkey
s.Luci
a'
s
boyfr
iendcostmeIneedt obuyacarmy
conceptcoupewasbey ondrepairsnowI'm
usi
nganAudi a3nott hatt
here'
ssomet hingbad
wit
hi tI
'mjustnotaf anokayI'm afanofVolvo
andPor sche.IwenttolookforPhili
leandfound
herinmyl it
tl
ebrother'
snurseryroom tr
yingto
combmyson' shairashewi ggledhimself
cry
ing.
Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
omysonPhi
l
z"
Phi
l
z:"
Hedoesn'
twantt
ocombhi
shai
r"
Me:"Heiscry
ingleavehim hewon'tdiengokut
hi
akakamanga"Itookmysonandcal medhi m
down" EhboyAuntPhiyiyeakamaahlungnzee"
Hetouchedhishead" Akiesmkhuluumama
uzomshayaauntyPhi y
iye"Iwipedhi
st ear
swit
h
myt humbandpr essedhisheadagainstmy
chest
Phi
l
z:"
Youar
espoi
l
inghi
mtoomuch"
Me:
"Hhaaphel
akubuhl
ungu"(
It
'shur
t)
Phil
z:
"Besi
det
hatSbongaisaspoil
tbabyhe
doesn'
twantt
or epr
imandedandhealway
sget
whathewantit
'ssowrong"
Me:"
OhComeonPhi li
ley
ousaidityourself
BABYhei sst
il
lsmal
lhedoesn'
tunderstand
any
thing"
Phi
lz:
"Asmot heryouhav
etost
artnowt
eachi
ng
hi
m. .
."Icutherof
f
Me:
"Hei
s7mont
hsol
dforcr
yingoutl
oud!
"
Phi
l
z:"
Yes.
..
"
Me:"Youwonttel
lmehowt orai
semybaby .
Youdidn'
tfuckmepregnantsopleaseback
off
!"
Phil
z:"
VeleIwasn'thir
edt otakecareofyour
spoil
tbabybuttot akecareofthehouse!
"She
stoodupandwal kedout .Mxm whoissheto
tel
lmehowt or
aisemybaby ? Iwentt othe
masterbedroom andt ooktheblackcar
dthen
walkedtothegaragewher eIbuckledmybaby
onhi
sseat
.
Igotinmyseatandst ar
tedthecarbef ore
openingthegaragethendroveout.Theguar d
openedt hegateformeIdroveoff.Istartedat
thesalonfir
standdidmyhairafterthatIwent
toeatsinceIdidn'
teatathomethenIst art
ed
withmyshoppi ng.
Icoul dn'
tstoppickingespeci all
ySbonga's
cl
ot hestheywer eal lcute.Hisbluebunnyf al
l
downashewasseat edont het r
oll
eysohe
startedcryingmi ndyoui twasmyt urntopay.I
pickedupt hebunnyandt ookhim.Hest opped
cryi
ngandwi ggledhi mselfsoIputhi m down.I
paidf oreveryt
hingwhenIl ookeddownSbonga
wasnotnextt ome.Il ookedar oundtherewas
nosi gnofhi m Iscreamedhi snamel i
keamad
woman
Me:"
Sbonga!Sbonga!
"Tear
sfal
ldownmyface
i
nvol
untar
y.Peoplewerel
ooki
ngatmeli
keI'
m
cr
azy.Somewomancamet ome
Woman:
"What
'swr
ongsi
s"
Me:"Mysonhewaspl
ayi
ngher
ewi
thhi
sbunny
"
Icr
iedhyst
eri
cal
l
y
Guy
:"Ar
eyousur
e?"
Me:"
Ofcour
seI
m sur
ewhatki
ndofaquest
ion
i
sthat!
!"
Ever
yonenowwasgatheredar
oundmycr
ying
sel
finst
eadofl
ooki
ngformyson
Guy:
"Thef
ootage!
"Heaskedt
hemanagert
o
showusafootageoft
heshopandheagr
eed.
Throughmyglassyey
esIcoul
dn'
tbeli
evewhat
IsawZolani
'
smom!Myphoner angitwas
Phil
il
e
Me:
"WhatPhi
l
il
e!"
"Youbettergety
ourf
atassher
eyoungl
ady
!"
SaidZolani'
smom ontheot
hersi
deand
droppedthecall
.
Me:
"Uhm t
hanky
ouguy
sthatwomani
shi
s
Gr
anny
."
Manager
:"
That
'sar
eli
ef"
Me:"ThanksIshouldgetgoing"Iwi pedmyt ear
s
andt ookmyshoppi ngbagsbef or
egoi ngout.I
l
oadedt hem inthebootanddr ovehome.I
mar chedtotheloungewher eIhear dvoi
ces.
Zolani'
sparentswereseatedont hedoubl e
couchwi t
hSbongaonZol ani'
sfather'
slap.
"Cr
eet i
ngs"Itookmysonbuthest oppedme
Z'
sFat
her
:"
SitdownMakot
i"Makot
imyass!
Isatdownont
hesi
ngl
ecouch
Z'
sMother:"
Howdar
eyouhi
deourgr
andson
fr
om ushuh?"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
thi
dehi
m Mama"
Z'sMother
:"
Thenwhyhav
en'
tyoubr
oughthi
m
tous"
Isai
dnot
hingandl
ookeddown"
I'
mtal
ki
ngt
o
you!
!"
St
il
lIsai
dnot hi
ng"
Wellwecamet
otakehi
m
wi
thus"Ilookedupather
Me:
"What
?"
Z'sMother:
"Wecan'
tletourgr
andsonberaised
byanunfitmotherl
i
key ou!Heneedagood
stabl
eenvir
onmentandwenay oucan'
tgi
v ehim
that"
Me:
"Say
swho?
"
Z'sMother:"
Me!Konkef irstitwasy ournudes
allov
ertheInternet,t
hent hepornv i
deoand
nowy oulosthim whatifhewasst olenby
someoneel se??Youar enotf i
ttobeamot her
youcan'trai
sehi m wegoi ngtotakehimy ou
cancomev i
sithim anyt
ime"
Me:
"Whaaaat
!That
'snotgoi
ngt
ohappenhei
s
myson!
"
Z'
sFather:
"Don'tmakethi
sharderKonkey ou
knowverywellifwecantakelegalacti
onsyou
wil
ll
osehimj udgi
ngfrom yourshenani
gans"
Me:
"Ar
eyout
hreat
eni
ngmeMrHadebe?
"
Z'
sFat her
:"Idon'tknowifZol
anitol
dyout hatI
don'tmaket hreatsbutImakepromises.Iwill
dowhat everit
sf orustogett
or ai
seour
grandson!
"
Me:
"Noy
oucan'
tdot
hat
!"
Phil
i
lewalkedinwit
hmyson'sbags"
Nonono
that
'snotgoi
ngtohappeny
oucan'tt
akeaway
mysonf rom me!
"
Z'
sMot
her
:"
Let
'sgoHadebe"Theybot
hst
ood
up
Ist
art
edcr
ying
Me:
"I
fyoudarel
eav
ethatdoorI
'
m goi
ngt
ocal
l
t
hepoli
ce!"
Z'
sFather:
"YouforgotthatI
'mthegov ernment
andlawmy sel
f.Icandowhat everIwanttodo
wasteyourti
meandcal l
thosebloodypolice.
"
Theytookthebagsandwal kedoutwi thmyson
Iwentdownont hefloorcri
edloudly.
.
.
Inser
t29i
sreadybutwil
lbepost
edi
fIget50+
commentsand10shares
Not
e:Iwon'
tcount"
ThanksAdmi
n"comment
s
[
05/
31,
20:
08]W:
29
KUHLEKONKE
•
Icr
umbedonthefl
oorandl
etoutal
oudsob
howcouldt
heydothi
stome.Whotol
dthem I
haveason.
If
eltar
mswr
appi
ngar
oundmybody
Phi
l
z:"
Im sor
rygetup"
Me:
"Theycan'
ttakemybabyawayf
rom me
Phi
l
il
eheismyson"Isobbed
Phi
lz:
"Let'
scall
thepol
i
cewhatt
heyar
edoi
ngi
s
ki
dnapping!"
Me:
"I
twi
l
lbeawast
eoft
ime"
Phil
z:
"Getupy ouwi l
lgetfl
ueonthef l
oor
"I
st
oodupshet ookmet othecouchand
di
sappearedthencamebackwi thaglassof
water."
Here"Icouldn'
ttaketheglassmyhands
wereshakingitsl
ippedandf al
ldownont he
fl
oor
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Phi
l
z:"
Noi
tsf
ine"shesatnextt
ome
Me:"
I'
m agoodmotherPhil
i
leIdon'
tknowhow
didt
henudeswentvi
ral
.Andthev i
deoIt
old
youmysideoft
hestory"
Phil
z:
"IknowKonkecallyourfat
herheshoul
d
knowwhatt odothesegrandparent
shaveno
ri
ghttotakehi
m awayfrom you.Heisyour
chi
ld"
It
ookmyphonef r
om myhandbagasPhi
l
z
di
sappear
ed.Idi
aleddaddy
Dad:
"MaZwane"
Me:
"Daddy
"Icoul
dn'
tut
terawor
dIsobbed
Dad:
"Pr
incesswhat
'swr
ong?Whomadey
ou
cr
y?"
Me:
"Theyt
ookhi
m"
Dad:
"Whot
ookwho?
"
Me:"
Zol
ani
'
sparent
stookSbongadaddyt
hey
sayI
'mi
ncapabl
eoftaki
ngcar
eofhim"
Dad:
"What
!!Amasi
mbal
awo!
!"(
That
sbul
l
shi
t!
!)
Me:
"Ican'
tl
osehi
m daddy
..
."Icr
iedl
ouder
Dad:"
Lookpri
ncessIwil
lsor
tthisout.Iwil
lbe
ri
ghtther
efi
rstt
hinginthemor ni
ng.Ineedyou
t
ocalm downntombikababat helastthi
ngI
wantisyouhavi
nganasthmaticattack"
Me:
"Iwi
l
ltr
y"
Dad:
"Don'
ttr
ydoi
tsweet
hear
t"
Me:
"Okay
"
Dad:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
WehungupPhi
l
zf i
nishedcl
eani
ngt
hepi
eceof
gl
assesont
hef
loor
Phi
l
z:"
Whatdi
dhesai
d?"
Dad:
"Hesai
dhewi
l
ltakecar
eofi
t"
Phil
z:
"Okayshoul
dIgi
vey
ouy
ouri
nhal
ery
our
chesti
swheezing"
Me:"
Yeahpl
easeit
'si
nmycar "Igav
ehermycar
key
ssheshuff
ledoutandcamebackwithmy
i
nhaler
.
"Thankyou"Ii
nhal
edi
tunt
ilIr
egai
nmynor
mal
breathi
ng.
Phi
lz:"
Ifyouneedany
thi
ngcal
lmeIwi
l
lbe
i
roning"
Me:
"Cany
oubr
ingat
rayofj
unkher
epl
ease"
Phil
z:
"Nopr
obl
em"shedi
sappear
edandcame
backwit
htr
ayofj
unk.
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Shewal
kedout
.
Imissedmyboyal
readyhowwi
l
lIsl
eepat
ni
ght.
Iwipedmyt ear
sandstuffmysel
fwit
hjunk
whil
ewatchingmovies.Myphonerangitwas
InaIhesi
tat
edtoanswerhim.
Iwanttodistancemy selff
rom him,may be
whenhismom i sokaythenthat'
swhenIwi l
l
dist
ancemy selffrom hi
m.Hehav ebeenv er
y
support
iveeversinceIlostmypar ents.
Somehowhi spr esenceinmylifebringcomfor
t
andpeace.
"
Hel
l
o"
I
na:"Mangetheomnyamangebal
aomhl
ophe
ngenhl
izi
yo"mycheekst
urnred
Me:
"JobekaMat
shana"
I
na:
"Howar
eyouPhi
kel
a"
Me:
"I
'm goodwhatabouty
ouMondi
se"
I
na:
"That
'sal
i
e,t
hat
'sal
i
e"
Me:
"Ser
iousI
mfi
ne"
I
na:
"Don'
tmakememadshubur
ub"
Me:"Uhm Zolani
'
sparent
stookSbongat
heysay
I
'm anunfitmother
"
I
na:
"Bayany
a!!Theyhav
enor
ightt
odot
hat
r
eportt
hem Konke!"
Me:"
Zol
ani
'
sfat
heri
sconnect
edI
nai
twon'
t
hel
p"
I
na:
"Myf
ami
l
yisconnect
edt
oo!
"
Me:"Heisfr
iendwit
hpoli
ti
cal
members
togetherwi
thever
yonewhohaspoweri
nthi
s
country"
I
na:
"Godpleasehel
pmenotst
artt
olear
nhow
t
okil
lwit
ht hoseol
dhags!
"
Me:
"Youneedt
ocal
m downnow"
Ina:
"Ican'
tbecal
m whenmyli
ttl
eniggaisout
ther
ewi thsomeevi
lgr
andpar
ents.YouandI
knowSbongai sf
ondofyouI'
m sureheis
cr
yinghi
slungsoutnow!
"
Me:
"Daddysai
dhewi
l
ldeal
wit
hit
"
I
na:
"Hebet
terbef
astcozIdon'
twanty
out
o
v
isi
tmeinjai
l!
"
Me:
"Inamandladon'
ttal
kli
ket
hatpl
easeehl
i
sa
moya"(cal
m down)
I
na:
"I
'm cal
m"
Me:
"Noy
ounot
"Ihear
dhi
m chuckl
i
ng
I
na:
"I'
m sorr
yit
sjustt
hatIdon'
twantany
body
tot
ouchy ouandSbongaemoti
onall
yand
phy
sical
ly"
Me:
"Iknowandweappr
eci
atet
hatt
rust
me.
..
unjani
uMa"(
howismom)
I
na:"
Ihat
etoseeheri
npainbutIt
hinkaf
tert
he
oper
ati
onshewil
lbef
ineImeanhehasto"
Me:"Shewil
lbef
inedon'
tworr
yjustbet
heref
or
yourdadandyoursi
bli
ngsandstopwor
ryi
ng
aboutus"
I
na:
"Ican'
tst
opwor
ryi
ngabouty
ouguy
s"
Me:
"Tr
y"
I
na:
"Fory
oushubur
ub"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Ihear
dsomeonet
alki
ngont
hebackgr
ound
I
na:
"What
'shappeni
ng?
"
Me:
"I
na?
"
I
na:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
atersomet
hingi
shappeni
ng
t
oMama"Hehungup.
Icarr
iedonwi
thmyj
unkandTVunt
ilIdozed
off
.
Iwaswokenupbyt hebell
onthedoor.Igotup
from t
hecouchandwenttoopenthedoor
that
'swhenInoti
ceitwasatni
ght
Me:"I
na"Helookedatmewi t
hredswoll
eneyes,
helookedsoterr
ibl
ehisnosewasred."
Come
i
n"Hewal kedi
nIclosedthedoor
."Areyou
okay?"
Heshookhi
sheadandwi ggledhisshoul
der
s
OhGodhewascr yi
ng.It
ookhi shandand
wal
kedwit
hhimt othecouch.Wesatdownon
i
tnextt
oeachother.
"
What
'swr
ongNkosi
namandl
a?"
I
na:
"Mo.
..
mo.
.mom passedaway
"Hebur
sti
nto
t
ear
s
Me:
"Ohno!"Ipul
ledhi
m cl
osetomychestand
embracedhi
m" I
'
m sorr
yIna"
I
na:
"Howcoul
dGoddot
hishuh.Howcoul
dhe
t
akeher
"
YazIdi
dn'
tknowgal
l
stonescancausedeat
h
Me:
"Shei
sint
hebet
terpl
acenow"
I
na:"
No!Shecan'
tbedeadIneedher!
"He
wail
edl
ikeababymyheartbr
oke.Icannev
er
f
athom outt
hepai
noflosi
ngaparent.
Me:
"Ssshi
t'
sgoi
ngt
obeal
ri
ght
"
I
na:
"I
twi
l
lbenev
erbeal
ri
ghtwi
thoutMama
Konkeshewasourev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:"Youneedtobestr
ongInafory
oursi
bli
ngs
especial
l
yyourdadheneedyou"
I
na:
"Icoul
dn'
tbri
ngmy sel
ftotellMjthatmom
i
snomor eIj
ustdrov
est r
aighthere"
Me:
"I
'm sososor
ry"Tear
sfal
ldownmyf
ace
Hepul
l
edbackandl
ookedatme
I
na:
"Pl
easet
ell
met
hatt
hisi
sjustadr
eam"
Me: "I
m sososor ry"Iwipedhistearswi thmy
palms" Ngi
yaxolisa"(I
'm sorr
y)"Iknowi tshard
trytobestrongpl ease"HenoddedIpr essedmy
foreheadagainsthisandwest ayedl i
ket hatf
or
amoment" Ifyouneedany t
hingI'
m her e"I
pulledbackhel ookedatmeandwi pedmy
tears
I
na:
"I
'm sor
ryf
ormaki
ngy
oucr
y"
Me:"
Don'twor
ryaboutit"Hecuppedmyface
andkissedmeIhesi
tatedbefor
ekissi
nghi
m
wit
hsomuchhunger .Hehandst r
avel
edal
lover
mybodyIpul
l
edback"
Inawe.
..
"
Ina:"Don'tstopmepl ease"Hewhi sper
edand
kissedmeagai nweundr essedeachot her.
Ev erythi
ngwashappeni nginsuchaqui ckpace.
Heputmeunder neathhim andlookedatme.I
felthim guidinghismanhoodi nsideofme.He
ent eredmef ull
yIgaspedwi deningmyey es.He
rockedbackandf ort
hslowlybui ldi
ngupthe
speed.Ohshi tI
tfel
tsodammm goodIcoul dn'
t
stopmoani nghi sname
Me:
"OhhNkosi
namandl
a"
Ifel
tsomeoneshakingmel i
ghtlyIopenedmy
eyesandsawDad.Ohpl easedon' tt
ell
meIwas
dreamingAGAIN! " Dady ou..backwhatt i
me
i
si t
?"Il
ookedar
oundIwassl eepingont he
couchcov er
edwit
hablanket
Dad:
"7O'
cl
ocki
nthemor
ning"
Me:
"I
namandl
a'
smom i
sdead?
"
Dad:
"Noshei
snotdead"
Me:
"Idr
eamtabouthereshoni
l
e"
Dad:
"Ohi
sthatwhyyouweremoani
ng
I
namandl
a'sname?"Henar
rowedhi
seyes
Me:
"Ba"
Dad:"
Nyat hesewetdreamsaboutInamandl
a
wil
lstar
ttoannoymenow!I '
m goingtohita
showerandgof etchmygrandson"Witht
hat
sai
dhedi sappear
ed.Cananyonegivemeapi l
l
tocontr
ol dr
eams
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Il
ookedatthi
swomani
nfr
ontofme
i
ncredul
ousl
y
Ihav
ebeeni
nsult
edbef
orebutnot
hingcoul
d
measur
ewhatthi
swomanjustdi
dtrustme.
Me:
"Excuseme?
"Inar
rowedmyey
es
Phuml
a:"
Ohy
ouandIbot
hknowt
hatwhaty
ou
aftertomybrothersoI
m makingthi
ngseasy
foryoutakethemoolaandfuckoutofmy
brother'
sli
fe"
Me:"YePhumel el
eorPhumlawhat ev
ery our
namei sangisi
yeumumbi wegoli
demi na"(I
'
m
notagolddigger)"Tel
lmewhyar eyouagainst
mewhathav eIdonetoyou?DidIperhapstook
yourman? "
Phumla:
"Ohdon'tf
lat
teryour
sel
fthemanIdate
ar
eoutofyourleaguetheywoul
dn'tl
ookatyou
eveni
fyouarenaked"
Ilaughedsohar dshei stesti
ngme, sheisreal
ly
testi
ngme!Yhuuguy smi nangi muhlengiyazazi
futhingi
shayangesibunuesi qi
nilengathi
esetshit
shi,
amat hangalawaa- freshngathi
ngigezangobisi,
nginyathelangabant wana
nginjal
onje.Nosanemanwi llr
esistmengi sho
nomaungay i
fakaikorobelaindoday akho
makengaf i
kanjekuy acaca.
Me:
"Youknowi
fIwasn'
ti
nlov
ewi
thy
our
br
otherIwoul
dtakey
ourhusbandubukaso "
Shecackl
edl
i
keal
i
ttl
esl
ut
Phuml
a:"
Youar
esof
unny
"
Me:
"Don'
tyouhav esomethingtodo,i
syourli
fe
t
hatbori
ng?Gof uckyourhusbandandleav
e
methehell
alone!"
Phuml a:"YouaresonaïvePhakamaniwon't
l
eav eyouf orhisgi
rl
fri
endyouarejusta
dist
ractionsis"Shetookoutherphone"Her
e
takeal ookatthat"
Itookherphoneandl ookedatthepict
uresof
thisbeauti
ful
yell
owbonegirlandPkkissingon
Instagr
am.Icouldfeelmyey eswarmingup
withtearsbutIdi
dn'twanthertoseethatI'
m
hurt.
Me:"
Ify
outhinkt
hisi
smeanttobreakmeup
wi
thPKy ougotanot
hert
hingwoman.Gety
our
t
ir
edassoutofhere"
Phuml
a:"
Youl
i
ttl
esl
ut.
..
"
Me:
"Woahhol
ditr
ightt
her
eyoudon'
twantt
o
t
akemeonPhumelele.
"
Phumla:"
Phuml
anotPhumel
ele!
!"LolIknowI
j
ustwantedtoshowhert
hatIdon'tgi
veafuck
abouther.
Me:
"Outwoman!
"
Shetookherspor
tbagandstompedout.Isat
downonthecouchandburi
edmyf aceonmy
hands.
Coul
ditbepossi bl
et hatheischeati
ngonme?
PKwil
l neverdothatt omeorwoul dhe?Buthe
waskissingthatgir
l OhGodher eIgoagain.
Mydeepestf earIdon'twanttogothrought
hat
pai
nagain.
"
Katar
eyouokay
?"Il
ookedupatYol
anda
Me:
"YesI
'
mfi
ne"
Yol
anda:
"Youar
ecr
ying"
Me:
"NoI'm not"Iwi
pedmytear
sIdi
dn'
treal
i
zeI
wascr
ying."CanItakehi
m"
Yol
anda:
"Yesofcour
se"shegav
emeLami
Me:"Hel
l
oboy"Hebl
inkedhiscut
esmalley
es
andstar
edatme"Imissyou"Iki
ssedhi
s
for
ehead
Yolanda:
"It
hinkIshoul
dgetgoingnow.When
youcamei nhejustwokeupfrom hi
ssleepI
thi
nkheishungry"
Me:"Okaynoproblem canyoudomeaf avour
Yolanda,
mysist eri
sinthehospi
tal
Ineedyou
tommor r
owtof etchher.
"
Yol
anda:
"Nopr
obl
em..
.Icookeddon'
tyouwant
metodishupf
oryou"
Me:
"Yespl
easeI
'
m superhungr
y"
Yol
anda:
"Okay"Shewentout
.Igazedatmyboy
ashesuckedonmynipple.
Me:"
Yousuchabeaut i
fulthi
ngIhav
eev erseen"
Ibr
ushedhishair.Forababyhehav ealotof
hai
rIguessthatwhyIal wayshadanheartburn
whenIwaspr egnant.Yolandacamebackwi t
h
abowlandadishcl
oththenshewenttofet
ch
myfood."
Thanksyousuchansweethear
t"
Yol
anda:
"Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowmor
ning"
Me:
"Okayt
hen"Sheexi
ted.
IburpedLami fi
rstandlai
dhim onthesof
anext
tomet henwashedmyhandsont hebowl
.I
dri
edmyhandsandst artedeat
ing.I
twasjusta
simplemeal chi
ckenstewandr i
cewithal
l
dif
ferentki
ndofsalads.
SheisagreatcookImustsayIevenhada
secondone.MyphonerangIgotupandtook
myhandbagont hecouchandtookoutmy
phone.
"
Toy
a"
Toy
a:"
HeyIreci
evedyourmessageIwas
wai
ti
ngtoknockofff
irst
.I'
m sor
ryhowi
sshe"
Me:"Il
eftherfeel
i
ngbett
eryouknowIf
eel
bad
aboutthisIshoul
dn'
thavest
arv
edher"
Toy
a:"
Youwer
epuni
shi
ngherbabey
oudi
dn'
t
knowi
twi
l
lgot
hisf
ar"
Me:
"Buti
tdi
dI'
m suchabadsi
ster
"
Toya:"
OhcomeonKatdon'tbehar
donyour
sel
f
thatgi
rlneededt
olear
nthehar
dway"
Me:"
Shehav ebeengoingthroughsomest
uff
andIdi
dn'tnoti
ceToya.RememberwhatItol
d
youaboutouruncl
emol esti
ngher?"
Toy
a:"
Yes"
Me:"
Shehaven'
tdeal
twit
ht hetr
aumaandshe
i
sregrett
ermi
nati
ngherpregnancy
"
Toya:
"Ohmansheshouldntr
egreti
tthoughshe
i
sachi l
dtoworr
yaboutababy.Sheneedfocus
onschoolandmoveon"
Me:"
Andshedoesn'
twantt
otal
ktoa
pr
ofessi
onal
"
Toya:
"Gi
vehersomet
imeshewi
l
lcome
ar
ound"
Me:
"Ihopey
ouar
eri
ght
.Youwon'
tbel
i
eve
l
esf
ebeesi
wusi
skaPKsenzeni
"
Toy
a:"
OhGodwhatdi
dshedonow!
"
Me:"Shecamewi
th1.
5m andsai
dImustl
eav
e
herbrot
her"
Toy
a:"
Arr
ghwhat
'swi
tht
hatwoman!
"
Me:"
Shedoesn'
tthi
nkI
'
mther
ightgi
rl
fr
iendf
or
herl
it
tl
ebrot
her
"
Toy
s:"
Yer
rruy
any
ayaz!
"
Me:"Sheshowedmeapi cofPKandsome
yel
lowgi r
lki
ssi
ng.Whati fPKdohavea
gir
lf
riendImeanIt
'scan'tbepossi
blet
hathe
havebeensingl
euntilIcamealong"
Toy
a:"
Idon'
tknowchomeeormay
bet
hat
womanphotoshopt
hatpi
c"
Me:"
MaybeIdon'
twanttogothrought
hatpai
n
agai
nToya.Iwi
ll
li
ter
all
ydi
ethisti
meandleave
mybabi
esasorphans"
Toy
a:"
Didy
ouaskPK?
"
Me:"Heisnotanswer i
ngmycal l
sImessedup
bi
gToy a."Isai
dwithaneart ear
svoi
ce"Il
ove
hi
m Ireall
ydoI'm scaredtoactonmyfeel
ings
I
'm alr
eadytoodeepi ntohi
m Idon'
twannalose
hi
m andIhat eitwhatifhehurtmeanddit
ch
mel i
keMzwakhedi d"
Toy a:
"Youneedtost
opitrightthere!Howmany
ti
mesdoIhav et
otell
yout hatPKisnot
Mzwakhe!Hay imaansudikatshin!Givet
heguy
afuckingchanceandstopcompar inghim
nalasthwaxasenkwenkwe!"
Me:
"Don'
tshoutatme"
Toy a:
"Maybeyouwil
lhearmebetter
!"She
droppedthecall
.Ibr
eathedoutl
oudlyandtr
ied
tocallPKhisphonesentmestrai
ghtto
voicemail
.Ihuff
edandtossedmyphoneaside
thenwatchedTVwi t
hmysonl yi
ngont opofmy
chest.
Atni
ghtIdi
dn'
teatIwasst
il
lful
lfr
om t
hef
oodI
at
e.
Ibat
hLami andbreastfeedhi
mt hencradl
ed
hi
m unt
ilhefal
lIasleep.Si
nceIwassleepi
ng
al
oneIchosetosleepwi t
hhim onmybed.
Myphoner
angasIwascl
oset
ofal
li
nto
sl
umber
Me:
"El
o"
"
Hey
"OhGod
Me:
"Tebohowher
edi
dyougetmyt
ens"
Teboho:
"Yourv
oicesoundsexi
eront
hephone"
Me:
"I
'm sl
eepi
ngy
azhowcanIhel
pyou"
Teboho:
"Iwant
edt
osaygoodni
ght
"
Me:
"Ni
ght"Idr
oppedt
hecal
landsl
ept
.
Inthemiddl
eofthenightIwaswokenupbya
cry
ingLami.Iswi
tchedonthesi
delightand
att
endhim.
Ichangedhisdi
aperandbreastfedhim buthe
didn'
twanttosuckl
e.Igotupfrom thebedand
pacedaroundwithhi
mt ry
ingtocalm him down
buthewoul dn'
tstopcryi
ng"GodLamIwhere
doesIthurthuh?"Itookmyphoneandtr
iedto
call
PKIdon' tknowwhatwasIhopinghewill
dowhenhemi lesawayfrom me.Hi
sphone
rangwithnoanswer .
"Babypleaseanswert hephonepl ease"Icri
ed
andt r
iedcal
linghi m agai
n" St
handwasami I'
m
sorrystoppunishingmeIneedy ou.Lami i
s
cryi
ngIdon'tknowwhatt odoany mor ehe
wouldn'tst
opcr ying.I'
m aloneThandoi sinthe
hospital
"Iburstintotearsandt hrewthephone
onthebed." Kwenzakal anboy"( What'
sis
happeningboy )
Ikeptwalki
ngar oundrocki
ngLami backand
fort
handsi ngi
nghimt hul
amtwanawi thmy
cryi
ngvoiceuntilhi
sstoppedcr
ying.Ilookedat
him hewasasleepsuckingonhisthumb.I
gentlyl
aidhim onthebedthensl
ippednextt o
him.
Thef
oll
owi
ngmor
ningIwaswokenupbymy
al
arm.Istr
etchedmysel
f,mybodywassor
eI
di
dn'tsl
eptwellLami
wasr eal
l
ytr
oubl
i
ngme.I
ki
ssedhisti
nylips
Me:"
Mor ningboy"Irol
ledoutofbedandpul
led
arobethenwentt otakeahotshowerIneeded
i
ttostayrefreshedcozIcloudfeel
mysel
f
dozi
ngof fasIwasst andi
ng.
Ifini
shedshower i
nganddr i
ed, l
oti
onedthen
gotdressedint
oabl ackdressandheelsI
completedthelookwithwhitecardi
gan.Black
andwhi t
eisactual
lyourunifor
m.Icombedmy
hai
randmadei tanotetogot othesalonwhen
Igetti
me.Iwentt othekit
chenandmade
speci
alKt hensatdownandat e.
Iwasdi st
urbedbyabel lonthedoorIwentto
attendittherewasnooneIl ookedaroundI
couldn'tseeany one.Il
ookeddownandsawa
boxIt ookitandwal kedinsi
dethenclosedt
he
door .IopenedtheboxIswearmyhear t
stoppedbeat ingwhenabr ownishsnakerai
sed
i
theadandlookedatme.It
hrewt
heboxont
he
f
loorandscr
eamedinshock.
.
.
Thisoneisfort
heli
kesont hepreviousinsert
s
scrol
ldownandhitli
kewher eyouforgot.Ineed
all
theinser
tstohave400+r eact
ionsand50+
comment sonthi
sinser
tthen30wi l
lfol
l
ow
[
05/
31,
20:
08]W:
30
VI
NCENT
•
Iwassti
l
llooki
ngforwar
dtospendti
mewi t
h
mysonandmyf i
ancéemakeherf
eelbet
teryou
know.
Sheisreall
ynottaki
nghermom' ssicknesswell
thenKonkecall
edandt oldmeZol ani'
sparent
s
tookSbongaIswearIhav eneverbeenangr y
l
ikethatinmywhol eli
fe.Idon'
tcareiftheyar
e
connectedwit
hpol i
ti
calmember swhoev erI
onl
yfearonemanmi
na
t
hemanupst
air
s.
Si
hle:
"Cal
m downbef
orey
ouexpl
ode"
Me:
"Howdar et
heycomet
omyhouseandt
ake
mygrandson!
"
Shecamet
osi
tonmyl
apandmademel
ookat
her
Sihl
e:"
Youwil
lageearlyifyoukeepget t
ingso
workedup.Cal
m downNget hey ouwil
lgo
tomorrowmorningandsor tthem out
.Youare
themanofactionsthat'
swhatIl oveaboutyou"
Imanagedtosmi l
esheal way shaveawayof
makingmecalm.
"
That
'swhatIwannaseenow"
Me:"I
'
m sor
ryt
hatIwon'
tbeherewi
thy
ouwhen
yourmom i
sbeingoper
ated"
Si
hle:
"Iunder
standst
handwasami
"(myl
ove)
Me:
"Youcan'
tbet
hisper
fectmar
acany
oube?
"
Shel
aughedwi
tht
hatbeaut
if
ull
aughofher
s.
Si
hle:
"Idoubt"Shewrappedherarmsaround
myneckandni bbledonmylowerlip
pr
ogressesintoaslowpassionat
ekisscausi
ng
mymanhoodt otwit
ch.
Igaveherboobsasqueezei
ndul
gingintothe
ki
ssshemoanedsof t
lyi
nmymout h.Ilayedher
gentl
yonthecouchandgotontopofherasI
sl
it
heredmyhandonhery el
l
owt hi
ghmy
fi
ngersspl
ayedwide.
Shebr
oket
heki
ssandshookherhead
Me:
"Babycomeon"
Si
hle:
"Bepat
ientbabyonemor
emont
htogo"
Me:
"Justt
het
ip"
Si
hle:
"Nobaby
"
Me:
"Pr
ett
ypl
ease"Isqui
ntedmyey
espout
ing
myl
ips
Si
hle:
"Ha.
aNget
hedontdot
hatpl
ease"
Me:"
Sbani
sethui
s3mont
hol
dthet
ipwont
damageMajobe"
Si
hle:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Igr
oanedandburiedmyheadonherneck,
sni
ff
inghersweetscent
.
Me:"
Thankstoy
oursonnowI
m onst
arv
ati
on"
Shelaughed
Si
hle:
"AndIf
uckedmy
sel
fpr
egnant
"
Me:
"Mx
m"
Si
hle:"
Stopsul
ki
ngmyloveyouhav
ebeen
wai
tingfor3monthsonl
yonemonthl
eft
"
Me:"Tomorrow'snewsf l
ash:Vi
ncentZwane,
whoownsv ari
ousbusinessesdieddueto
sexualst
arvati
on..
."Shedidntl
etmefini
shand
bursti
ntolaughter
Sihl
e:"
Yousuchadr
amaKi
ngnowIknowKonke
tookaftery
ou"
Me:
"HayI
m notdr
amat
ic"
Si
hle:
"Yesy
ouar
e"
Me:
"NoI
m not
"
Si
hle:
"Yesy
ouar
e"
Me:"
Youal
wayswantt
obethel
astoneIgot
ta
t
ight
ensomescr
ewsIsee"
Sheswal
l
owedhar
d
Si
hle:
"I
m sor
rybabyy
ouar
enotdr
amat
ic"I
l
aughed
Me:"Notyetbabynotyet.
..
yourmom needto
recoverf
astshehavetobet her
ewhent heNDH
Plazaisl
aunchedoffi
cial
l
y"
Sihl
e:"
YeahIpr
ayt
heoper
ati
ont
obe
successf
ul.
"
Me:
"I
twi
l
lbesuccessf
ult
rustme"
Si
hle:
"Nget
he"
Me:
"Mamakhe"
Si
hle:
"Whoi
sNokukhany
aMabi
zel
a"
Myhear
tski
ppedabeat
Me:
"Noonewhy
?"
Si
hle:
"Ihear
dyout
alki
ngwi
thMzety
est
erday
onthephone."
Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Me:
"Shei
snoonei
mpor
tant
"
Si
hle:
"Okay
"ThanksGodshel
eti
tgo.
IknowIshouldbehonestwithherbutsome
othert
hingsar
ebetterl
eftunsai
dcozoncethey
areknowntheywil
lcausedamage.
Ihearpeoplesaytrut
hwi
llsety
ouf r
eeaysbal
i
thatdoesntworkformeespeci
all
ytotr
uths
thatwil
lcostyou.
Theyarebett
erlef
tunsai
dforthesakeof
ever
yone.AnywayIhadagreatdaywithmy
fi
anceeandmysonev enthoughtheonlyt
hing
hedoistosleep.
Wewer
einoneofmyhot
elbyt
heway
.
Thefol
lowi
ngmor
ningIwaswokenupbymy
fi
ancee
Si
hle:
"Wakeupi
ts3ocl
ocknow"
Me:
"Onemor
ehour
"
Shepl
ant
edki
ssesal
lov
ermyf
ace
"
MaJobemaan!
"
Si
hle:
"Youhav
etogobaby
"
Me:"Youcantwaitt
ogetr
idofmeuf
una
ukusalawenzani
"
Si
hle:
"Iwantt
oseemyben10"
Iopenedmyey
esandl
ookedather
Me:
"Whohav
eadeat
hwi
sh"
Si
hle:
"Youhav
etoki
l
lmef
ir
stbef
orey
ouki
l
l
hi
m"
Me:
"WeSi
hleungangi
hlany
isi
mina"(
Dontmake
memadSihl
e)
Shel
aughedt
henherphoner
ang.
Shet
ooki
tandanswer
edi
t
Sihl
e:"
Sthandwasami ..
.ohyes..
.Imissyou
too.
..
dontwor ryIm allyoursfi
anceisleaving
now...
thandanami vha.
...
Icantwaityouwi ll
find
mewai ti
ingfory ouwear i
ngthatvelvet
l
ingeri
e..
."Icouldnthelpmy sel
fbutgr aspedher
phoneandl ookedati t.
Si
hle:
"Al
arm snoozegot
cha!
"shebur
sti
nto
l
aughter
Me:"
Mxm!"Ir
oll
edoutofbedandst
art
ed
get
ti
ngdr
essed
Si
hle:
"Younotgonnahav
eashower
"
Isai
dnothing"Baby"Iwentt
othebathr
oom
andwashedmyt eet
handmyf acet
henwent
back."Youaremad?ComeonbabyIwas
j
oking"
Me:"Thatwasf
unnyhahahaha"Isai
d
sacarst
ical
l
y
Shegotupandwal
kedt
ome.
Sihl
e:"
Youar esocut
e"shesai
dwrappi
ngher
armsar oundmywaistandki
ssedme"Ilov
e
you"
Me:
"Dontpl
ayl
ikethatagai
nyouwanty our
mkhul
ubaetodieduetoheartat
tack"
Shel
aughedt
hrowi
ngherheadback
Sihl
e:"
MyMkhul
ubaei
snotweakhei
sst
rong
l
ikeTinqo"
Icoul
dnthel
pbutl
augh
Me:
"Youar
ecr
azy
"
Si
hle:
"That
swhyy
oul
oveme"
Me:"
IswearIhav
eneverbeenhappyli
keIam.
Youmakemehappyinawayt hatis
unex
plai
nabl
e.Il
ovey
ouMamakaSbani set
hu"
Si
hle:
"Il
ovey
oumor
eBabakaSbani
set
hu"
Weki
ssedIpul
l
edhercl
oset
omybody
.
Me:
"Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
ou"
Si
hle:
"Imi
ssy
oual
ready
"
Me:
"Icantwai
ttowi
fey
ousot
haty
ouwi
l
lmov
e
i
nwithme"
Si
hle:
"Met
oohey
"Wel
etl
osef
rom eachot
her
's
ar
ms.
Me:
"Takecar
eofy
our
sel
fandmysonf
orme"
Si
hle:
"Wil
ldo.Takecar
eofyour
sel
fand
MangetheJunior
"shebit
eherl
i
pwithan
al
l
ur i
ngsmil
e
Me:
"Dontdot
hatpl
ease"
Shewal
kedcl
osedt
omeandt
ouchedmybul
ge
Iwi
nced
Si
hle:
"Tr
avel
saf
e"shewhi
sper
edi
nmyear
Igr
oaned
Me:"
LetmegocozIcantcont r
olmy sel
fnow"I
wenttoki
ssmysononhi sforehead.Hewas
sl
eepi
ngonhi scot"Takecar eofyourmom and
pl
easewhoev ert
ryhislucktoy ourmom pinch
hi
sball
sson"myf iancéelaughed."Iwil
lcal
lyou
whenIgetthere"
Sihl
e:"
Okay"Iki
ssedherf
oreheadbef
ore
huggingher.
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Sihl
e:"
Ilov
eyoutoo"It
ookmycarkeys,
wal
l
et
andphonesthenmademywayout .
Thedrivewasreall
yfastsincether
ewasno
tr
aff
icafteral
lItwasaround3:30inthe
morning.
Yesterdayaft
erIrecei
vedacallfr
om KonkeI
cal
ledMzett otraceSbonga'
slocati
on.Ihav
ea
past,apastthatmaycaughtupwi thmesome
daysoi tsbet
tertobesafethensorryand
babiesaretheeasytargetastheyour
weakness.
Theyar esti
lli
nDur baninahot elwhi
chmeans
there'
sapossi bi
li
tythattheyareleav
ingtoday.I
havetogett herebeforetheyleavewithmy
grandson.Iarri
vedathomear ound7o' cl
ock.I
foundmydaught ersleepi
ngont hecouchand
moani ngInamandla'snameagai n!
I'
m st
arti
ngtogetannoyednowItoldher
Inamandlai
snogoar eayenaubusyuphupha
emenzaaymaan!
Clearl
yit
'st
ell
sshei
ntotheboyIwon'tal
low
thatwecan'tbot
hbeinarel
ati
onshi
pwi t
h
sibl
ings.
Itdoesn'tsoundgoodi t
sbet t
erwhensibli
ngs
areseeingsi bl
ingsnotf at
herandadaught er
seeingsibli
ngs.Itstotall
ylookbadandIdon't
evenwantt oimagineit.Ngabesidl
alakubol d
andt hebeaut i
fuli
nkosi,thatonesoapiewhere
youcanf i
ndsucht hing.Evenamot herdati
ng
herdaught er'
sinlawbr otherorf
ather.
Inxovanxovanj eyesidl
idli
ongasaziuzost
hini
.
Konke:
"OhhNkosi
namandla"Ishookhershe
openedherey
esandlookedme" Dady ou.
.back
whatti
meisit
?"sher
oamedherey es
Me"
7O'
cl
ocki
nthemor
ning"
Konke:
"I
namandl
a'
smom i
sdead?
"
Me:
"Noshei
snotdead"
Konke:
"Idr
eamtabouthereshoni
l
e"
Me:
"Ohisthatwhyy
ouwer
emoani
ng
I
namandla'
sname?"
Konke:
"Ba"
Me:"
Nyat hesewetdr
eamsaboutInamandla
wil
lst
arttoannoymenow!I'
m goingtohita
showerandgof et
chmygrandson"Il
eftherand
wenttotookashower.
WhenIfini
shedIdried,
lot
ionedanddr essedup
i
najean,blackandwhitestri
pedshirt
,nav y
bl
ueblazerandkurtgei
gersneakers.Isprayed
fr
agr
anceandwor emywat chwri
stthenl ef
t.
Icoul
dhearSbongacr y
inginsi
deasIknockon
thedoor.Thedoorswungopenawomanwho
wascarryingmycryi
nggrandsonl
ookedatme.
ItmustbeZolani
'smother.
Me:
"Greeti
ngscanIcomein"Sbonga
r
ecognizedmyvoiceandl
ookedatme
Mr
sH:
"Whoar
eyou"
Me:"Konke'
sfat
her.Pleaseall
owmet ocomein
sothatwecantalk"Shel etmein.Sbongal
if
ted
hi
shandsf ormetot akehim,thewoman
fr
ownedIchuckled
"
Mlet
he"
Mr
sH:
"Iknowhowt
ocal
m hi
m down!
"
Me:"
Don'
tbestubbornfornoreasonlookathi
m
hi
sfaceandeyesareswollenI
m surehehave
beencr
yingf
rom yest
erday"
"
Honeywhoisthat?
"Sai
dtheyel
l
owman,
too
y
ell
owifIcansay."Whoar
eyou?"
Me:
"Youhav
enomanner
swhydon'
tyougr
eet
"
MrH:"
Heyyoudon'tgett
ocomeher
eandt
ell
methatshi
t!Whoareyou??"
Mr
sH:
"Konke'
sfat
her
"
MrH:
"Whatdoy
ouwant
"
Me:
"Iwantust
otal
k"It
ookSbongaandcal
med
hi
m down"
Aski
esmyboy
"
MrH:"Comeandsitdown"Wewal
kedt
othe
couchandsatdown.
Me:"Ir
eal
l
ydon'tappr
eci
ateyout wocomei n
myhouseandtakemydaught er'
ssonwithout
herpermi
ssi
on.Whogavey outherightt
ocome
i
ntomyhouseanddoasy oupl ease?"
MrH:
"Wet
ookwhatbel
ongt
ous.
..
"
Me:"
Thenerveyouhavetosayt
hat
?Ihav
en'
t
r
eceivedanydamageshowcanhebel
ongto
you"
Mr sH:"
Konkewassupposet ocomewhenshe
foundoutsheispregnantandtel
lus.Weare
notsangomashowwewoul dhaveknownt hat
sheispregnant
.Youwer ever
ywr ongtokeep
herpregnancyf
rom us."
Me:"Sinceyouf
oundoutonyourownyou
shouldhavedonewhati
ssupposetobedone
notkidnappedhi
m"
MrH:
"Wedi
dn'
tki
dnappedhi
m"
Me:"Thi
siski
dnappi
ngMrHadebeIdon't
underst
andwhyareyoutaki
ngmygrandson
awayf r
om mydaught
er"
MrsH:"
Konkei sabadmot hershecan'
trai
sea
baby
.Fir
stitwast henudes,
theporn,y
esterday
shel
osthim atthemall.Whati
fsomeonet ook
hi
m"
Ichuckl
edshaki
ngmyhead
Me:"Thati
sreachcomingfrom y
ou,youtwo
rai
sedaabuserandapsy cho.Sotel
lmeifyou
rai
sedachildl
ikeZol
anihowcany ourai
se
Sbonga"
MrH:"List
enMrZwanewedon'thav
eti
mefor
chi
tchatwehav et
ogobackhome.Weare
goi
ngt orai
seourgr
andsonf
ini
shandkl
aar
"
Me:"
Youwilldonosuchthing.Sbonganeeds
hismom whatyouaredoingisverywrong.You
can'
tsepar
ateachi
ldfr
om hi smotherbecause
ofwhatwrit
tenonthepapers.Konkedida
publ
icst
atementandexplainedhersi
deof
stor
ywhatdidn'
tyouunderstand?
"
MrH:"Idon'
tcareaboutthatbutshei
s
i
ncapableofrai
singmygr andson.Wedon't
wantourgrandsontogrowi nanegati
ve
env
ironmentthat'
snotgoingtohappen!"
Me:"Icameheretotal
ktoyouni
celyandr each
anunderst
angbutyouarepushi
ngme.We
havetothi
nkofSbonga.Howwilli
taffecthim
togrowupwithouthismama.Heisver yfondof
hismom"
MrsH:
"That
'sexactl
ywhatwear
edoi
nghi
s
mom i
sbadf orhi
m!"
Me:"Li
stenandl i
stenmecar eful.I
'
m notscared
ofyouHadebeIdon' tcareifyouar efri
ends
withpowerfulpeopleIwil
ltakey oudownwi th
them.Wewi llseewhatwi l
ltheydot oy ouwhen
theyfoundouty ouarethereasonbehi ndthei
r
downf al
l
."Il
ookedathimr ightintohiseyesand
Iwasn'
tbl
uff
ing.
Mr
sH:
"Got
ohel
l
..
..
"
MrH: "
Honeyi
tsokay
..
.Sbongai
sourgrandson,
heisaHadebehehavetobeint
roducedtothe
ancestor
s.
Youcan'
trunawayf
rom t
hat
"
Me: "
Truebuteverythi
nghavetobedone
properlywit
houtfi
ghting.Hehavetoknowhis
father'
sfamil
yandhi srootsowecan'tdeny
himt hatasmuchy out wocanttakehi
m away
from hismom.Al lwewanti swhatbestf
orhim
fi
ghtingisdefi
nit
elynotthebest.
"
MrH:
"Wel
ltheni
tsset
tl
ed.
..
Mr
sH: "
NoHadebey
ouar
emaki
ngabi
ggest
mi
stake"
MrH: "
Awumenkosikazikukhul
umaamadoda
manje"(hol
ditwi
femenar etal
kingnow)
"Konkehavetobr
inghim athomesot hatwe
canwelcomehim andintr
oducehimtoour
ancestors.Hei
stheonlythi
ngthatconnectus
toZolaniwhovanishedi
ntothi
nairwedon't
knowi fheisst
il
lali
veordead"
Me:
"Nopr
obl
em Iwi
l
ltel
lher
"
MrH:
"Hewi
l
lchangehi
ssur
namet
oHadebe"
Me:"Iwi
llt
alktohi
smom aboutt
hatyoucan't
expecthertoagr
eetot
hataft
erwhatyourson
didtoher.
"
MrH:"
Oncewedothecer
emonyhebel
ongt
o
ushehav
etouseHadebeashi
ssur
name"
Me:"
AsItoldyoundodahi smom wi l
ldecide
youcan'
tforceher
.Youshoul dbegladthatwe
arewil
l
ingtobuil
dar elati
onshi
pbetweeny our
fami
lyandmygr andson.Af t
erwhattheabuse
mydaughterwentthroughbecauseofy ourson
weshouldn'
tevenbet alki
ng"
MrH:"
Iapologiseonbehal
foft
heHadebe'
swe
ar
everysorry
.Wepr omiset
otakecar
eof
ev
ery
thingassupposetoandwelcomeSbonga
wi
thopenar
ms"
Me: "
Wellthenit
'ssor
tedweshouldexchange
number s"Weexchangednumbers" Ishouldget
goingnowhi sbagsplease"MrsHadebest ood
upequdul eumlomoungaka,shewasnot
pleasedatallmxm akahambeayofa.Shewent
totakethebagsandcameback." Thanky ou"I
tookthebagswi thmyonehandast heother
wascar ryi
ngSbonga.
MrH:"Goodby
eMzukul
u"Heki
ssedhi
s
f
orehead.
Me:"
Trav
elsaf
e"Wewalkedout
.Iputthebags
i
nthebootandbuckl
edhi
m onhisseatthen
gott
omyseat.Istar
tedt
hecaranddroveoff.
Uponarr
ival
IunbuckledSbongaandtookhim
thent
ookthebagsfrom thebootbef
oremaking
mywayin.Themomentwewal kedKonkeran
tousandtookherson
Konke:"
Ohmyboy"Shesqueezedhimti
ghtl
y
"Thankyousomuchdaddy"Shehookedher
onear
m ar
oundmywai
st
Me:
"Don'
twor
ryabouti
tangel
"
Konke:"
Idon'
tknowwhatIwil
ldowit
houty
ou
daddyyouaremyhero"Tear
srol
leddownon
hercheeks
Me:"
Don'
tcr
ymyl ov
e"Iwipedhert
earswi
ththe
backofmyhandbefor
epull
ingt
hem cl
oseto
me.
Ican'
tbeli
ev efor25year
sofmyli
fethi
siswhat
Imissed.Iloveandenjoybei
ngadaddyandI
wouldn'
ttradeitfort
heworld
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Idon'tknowwhatIwoul dbewit
houtthi
smanI
callmyf atherhei
sthebestdaddyinwhol
e
widewor l
d.It
shavebeenhour
sbutthewayI
wasdy ingt ohol
dmysoni nmyarms.When
theywal kedinIcoul
dn'
thel
pmy sel
fbut
squeezemysoni
nmyar
ms.
Iwon'
tli
etoyousomehowIt
houghtIwi
l
lnev
er
seehi
m agai
n.
Dad:
"Stopsuf
focat
ingtheboynow"Igi
ggl
ed
maki
ngSbongat ogiggl
edtoo.OhhowImissed
t
hatgiggl
ingofhi
s.
Phi
l
z:"
Greet
ingsMrZwane"
Dad:
"Hel
l
oPhi
l
il
e"
Phil
z:"
Breakf
asti
sr eady .
..
hell
oboyitsgoodto
haveyouback"shepi nchedmyson' scheek
thenwewentt othediningr oom wherethe
breakf
astwassetandr eady.Phil
zdishedupf
or
usthenshedisappearedl eavingmeandmy
dadeating.
Me:
"Howdi
dyoudoi
tdaddy
"
Dad:
"Imadethem r
eal
izewhatt
heyweredoi
ng
i
swrongtheycan'
tseparat
eyoufr
om y
ourson"
Me:"
GoodcozIneverwanttoseet
hem agai
n.
Theymustl
eaveuswithpeace.Wedon'
tneed
t
hem i
nourl
i
vesr
ightboy
"Iki
ssedSbonga'
s
l
i
ps
Dad:"
Im af
rai
dthati
mpossi
blesweet
hear
t
SbongaisaHadebehehavetoknowhis
fat
her'
sfamil
yandintr
oducedtot
heancest
ors"
Me:
"NoIdon'
tagreedaddySbongai
saZwane
f
ini
shandkl
aar"
Dad:"
Sbonganeedtobei ntr
oducedtohis
ancest
ors.Wehavetof ol
lowourtradi
ti
on
Konke.Attheendofthehei saHadebe.The
Hadebesareexpecti
ngacal lfr
om me, when
wil
lyoubeabletotakehimt ohisf
ather'
sfami
ly
sothattheywil
lpr
epareforhiscer
emony "
Me:"
I'
m notgoingther
edaddyIdon'
twant
any
thingthatgott
odowiththatf
amily"
Dad:
"Butthatf
amil
yisyourson'sfamil
yKonke.
Youwomeny ouli
ketotakethi
ngswithhear
t
andf
orgetaboutt
heeffect
s.Sbongacouldget
si
ckifyoudon'
tdothi
s"
Me:"Oht
hat'
samy t
h.Not
hingi
sgoingto
happent
omyson.Let'
schangethetopi
ccoz
thi
soneisst
art
ingtoi
rkme"
Dad:"
Youareputti
ngthechi
ld'
slif
eint
odanger
becauseofyourst
ubboness..
..
"
Me:
"Geeewi
l
lyoushutuppl
ease!
"
Dad:
"EyVoet
sekngi
zokubhi
bizamanj
emi
na!
"
Me:
"Ngi
yaxol
i
saBaba"(
I'
m sor
rydaddy
)
Dad:"
Nx. .
Ilostmyappet i
tenow.Onet hi
ngIwi l
l
tel
lyouisdon' tcomer unningtomecr yi
ng
whenthingst urnsouthcozy oudon'tli
sten.You
areverystubbor nKonkey err"Hestoodupand
l
eft.WhenIf i
nishedeatingandf eedingmyson
Iwenttomybedr oom j
ustt obondwi thhim.My
phonedisturbedusi twasI na
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
I
na:
"Heyhowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'mf
iney
ou?
"
I
na:
"I
'mf
iney
ourdadar
ri
ved?
"
Me:"
Yeshef
etchedSbongaI
'
m wi
thhi
mri
ght
now"
Ina:
"That
'sgr
eatl
etmef
acet
imey
ousot
hatI
canseehim"
Hef
acet
imemeIcuddl
edSbonga
I
na:
"Hel
l
oboyImi
ssy
ouguy
s"
Me:
"Wemi
ssy
out
oo.How'
sMa"
I
na:"
Theyaredoneoper
ati
nghershel
ook
pr
omising"
Me:
"Thatmar
vel
ous"
I
na:
"Sat
urdaycanIt
akey
ououtj
usty
ouand
me"
Me:
"Okaynopr
obl
em"
I
na:
"Ihav
etogoIwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
"
Me:
"Sur
e"
Ther
estoft
heweekwentbyr
atherf
asti
twas
nowSat
urdayIwasal
readydr
essedwai
ti
ngf
or
I
na.
Wel ldaddywentbackt oPr
etori
ainfactever
sincet heyareengagedhei
shardlyaround.The
onlytimehei shereiswhenIneedhim orwhen
there'sSihl
eherewithmyli
ttl
ebrother
.
"
I'
m sor
ryt
obot
hery
ouPhi
l
zneh"
Phi
l
z:"
Don'
tdr
essIwi
l
ltakecar
eofhi
m"
Me:"
Heissl
eepi
ngonmybedpleasecheckhi
m
ev
erynowandthen.Heal
way
sfallont
hebed"
Phi
l
z:"
Okay
"Wehear
dthebel
l
.
Me:
"Iwi
l
lgeti
t"
Iwentt
oopent
hedoor
I
na:"
Hey"Awemaaahel ookedhotinhi
swhitev
neckadidasT-shi
rtt
hatshowedhisbuffydi
shy
body,bl
ackjeanandblueadidassneaker
s.
Me:"
Comei n"Hewal
kedi
n.Wesharedwarm
hughisheavenl
ysmel
lmadei
thar
df ormet
o
l
etgo.
Ina:
"Youaresobeaut
iful"Iwasinanof
f
shoulderwhi
teT-
shir
t, blackj
eanandCar
vel
a
SuedeMoccasinSneaker s
Me:
"Thanksy
ounotbady
our
sel
f"Hechuckl
ed
I
na:
"Wher
e'st
hel
i
ttl
eman"
Me:
"Hei
ssl
eepi
ng"
I
na:
"Iwi
l
lseehi
m whenwecomeback"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lgof
etctmyphone"
I
na:
"Okay
"Iwentt
otakemyphonet
henwel
eft
.
Uponarr
ivalweclimbedont heheli
coptert
hen
i
ttookoff
.Wear r
ivedtoourdest
inati
onona
cl
if
faboveInandadam wher eIwaswel comed
byadeli
ciouspicnicbasket
.
Me:
"Wow"Iwhi
sper
ed
I
na:
"Youmaysi
tmyl
ady
"Webot
hsatdown.
Hepour
edchampagneontheglassesandgav e
meoneglass.Weat
eoverali
ghtconversat
ionI
wasenjoy
ingever
yminuteofit
."Mygrandma
wantmetocomewi t
hy ouonournextfamil
y
gat
her
ingwhichwil
lbeinherhouse"
Me:
"Yho"
I
na:
"What
?"
Me:
"Yourf
ami
l
yseem ni
cebutI
'
m scar
ed"
I
na:"
Theydon'
tbi
te.Iwon'
tl
ietoyouwear
ea
bi
gfamil
ywhichmeansbepr epar
edf
ordr
ama"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tsai
dyesI
na"
I
na:
"Thi
nkabouti
tthen"
Me:
"Okay
"Hesmi
l
ed
I
na:
"Youar
esobeaut
if
ul"Ibl
ushed
Me:"Thanky ou"Welockedey esneari
ngour
facestoeachot her
.Hel i
ckedhisli
psLord
knowsIhav ebeenyearni
ngtot ast
ehisl
ips.My
heartthuddedasourlipstouchedthenhis
phonedeci dedtori
ngy hi
ii
i
I
na:
"Dad.
..
yes.
..
I'
m sor
ry.
..
Geedadt
oomuch
i
nf o.
..
notinthehospitalpl
easebehave
yourselv
es"Hel aughed" Okay
..
.sur
e"He
chuckled"Mypar entsar
eonecr azypar
entsI
tel
l y
ou.Theyareal waysallov
ereachotherl
i
ke
teenagers"
Me:
"That
'ssosweet
"
Ina:"
Sweetyouhaven'
tseenthem y
er r
rit
s
frust
rat
ingbutt
rustmetheyarebetter
comparedtomygr anparent
s"Il
aughed
Me:
"Howol
dar
eyourgr
andpar
ent
s?"
I
na:"Gr
andmais70year
sbutshel
ook50
Granpais78hel
ook60."
Me:"Talki
ngaboutgoal sneh.Youknowy ouare
l
uckyy ougrewupi nawar mfami l
ywher eyou
sawy ourparentsandgr andparentsshowing
eachotherhowmuchdot heyloveeachot her
.
Suchenv i
ronmenti sgoodinfl
uentialyou
becomet hemany ourdadorgr anpais.The
mant hatlovehiswifeandkidsandwi l
ldo
whateverittaketoprotecthi
sfami ly
."
I
na:
"Yeaht
hat
'st
rue"
Me:"Youknowmypar entswer eal
waysoneach
other'
sthroatasl
ongasIr emember .Such
envir
onmentcanhav eani mpactonone' sli
fe.I
uset oseehowdaduset oshoutatmamaand
blamesherf orev
erythi
ngsomehowt hatmade
mel ackanunderstandi
ngofl ovemay bethata
reasonIfailt
okeepmyr elat
ionship.
"
I
na:
"Ei
shnehI
'
m sor
ryy
ouwentt
hrought
hat
"
Me:
"Ahnost
ressmansomehowIgotuset
o
t
hat
."
I
na:"
Whichisnotr
ight.
..Iwil
lmakeyou
under
standwhatl
ov eisifonlyy
ouall
owme"I
l
ookeddownandsi ghed
Helift
edupmychinandl
ookedatmebef
ore
ki
ssingmyfor
ehead."
Doyouall
owme"I
nodded.
Wehadfuntakingpi
ctur
es,
laughi
ng,
joki
ngand
pl
ayi
ng.Af
terthatwewegotbacktothe
hel
i
copt
erandl
eftt
oDur
ban.
I
na:
"Ihavesomethingf
oryoucloseyoureyes"
Wewer enowinmyparentshouse.Iwantedto
t
akesomest uf
fthendri
vebacktodad'shouse.
Me:
"Okay
"
I
na:
"Don'
tpeek"
Me:
"Iwon'
t"Icl
osedmyey
es
Iheardhisfootstepsdi
sappear
ingt
henIhear
d
them approachingagai
n.
I
na:
"Openy
ourey
es"Iopenedmyey
es.
Iwi
denedmymout
h
Me:
"OhmyGodI
na"
I
na:
"Whatdoy
out
hink"
Me:"I
t'
sext
raordinar
ybeauti
fulIl
oveit"Igazed
atthepai
ntedpictur
eofmebr eastf
eeding
Sbongaofwhichhedi dbyhimself
."Youar e
amazingdi
dy ouknowt hat
"
I
na:
"Notr
eal
l
y"
Me:"Well
younowy ouknow"Heputt hepict
ure
onmybedandwal kedt
ome" Thankyouthisi
s
thespeci
algi
ftIhaveeverr
ecei
ved."
Ina:
"Special
li
keyou"Henearedhisf
aceI
swallowedhardourli
pswereinchapar
thi
s
phoner angagai
n.
OhGod!
!!
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwasshakingwit
hfearmykneeswobbl
ed
whoeversentt
hesnakeknowmet oowel
l.I
'
m
scar
edofsnakes.
OhGodhowwi
l
lIgett
hissnakeoutoft
his
house.
JustasIwasaboutt
of et
chmyphoneandcal
l
ToyaIhear
dabellonthedoor
.Iwentt
oopen
thedoor
.
Me:
"Te.
.Te.
.Te"Icoul
dn'
tspeakIwasscar
ed
Teboho:
"Katar
eyouokay
"
Me:
"Thesnake"Thatal
lIr
emembersay
ing.
"
Kat
!"
"
Sis!
"
Ifel
tsomeoneslappingmycheeksl
ight
lyand
openedmyey es.IwaswelcomedbyTeboho,
YolandaandThando'sey
es
Thando:"
Oht hankGod"Sheengul
fedmewitha
hugsniff
ing"YouscaredmeSisKat"shewi
ped
hertear
s.Ilookedatherbewi
lder
ed
Me:
"Wha.
.whati
sgoi
ngon?
"
Teboho:
"Youfai
ntedaf
terseei
ngt
hesnake"
ThatwhenIrememberedandjumpedup
Me:
"Wher
eisi
t!
"
Teboho:
"Tookcar
eofi
tcal
m down"
Me:
"Ar
eyousur
e?Wher
eismyson?
"
Teboho:
"Hei
ssl
eepi
ng"
Me:"
Whatt
imei
sitnow?Ishoul
dbeatwor
k
now?'
Yol
anda:
"Wecal
l
edToy
aandi
nfor
medher
"
Teboho:"
Iwil
ltakey
out
othedoct
orf
ort
he
doctor
'snot
e"
Me:
"Howl
onghav
eIbeenout
?"
Teboho:
"Twohour
s"
Me:
"GodI
'
m soscar
ed"
Teboho:
"Youar
esaf
edon'
twor
ry"
Me:
"Yousentt
hatsnake!"
Teboho:
"What
?"
Me:
"Youhear
dmewhyafterf
ewminut
esI
r
ecei
vedtheboxy
oushowedup"
Teboho:"WhywouldIdothatKat
.Icametogi
ve
youaliftt
owor knnaIdon'
tknowanythi
ng
aboutthesnake"
Thi
smeansI
tsPhuml
ashei
stheonl
yonet
hat
hat
eme.
HowdidsheknowI'
m scar
edofsnakesmor
e
t
henanyt
hingIdon'
tevenl
ookatt
hem onTV.
Me:
"OkayI
'
m sor
ry"
Teboho:
"Thanky
ou"
Me:
"Youar
etheonewhof
etchedThando?"
Teboho:
"Yes"
Me:"
Thankyouonceagai
n..
.l
etmemakeacal
l
f
ir
stbefor
ewegot othedoct
or"
Teboho:
"Okay
"
Iwenttomybedr
oom andt
ookmyphonet
han
cal
lTbose.
Tbose:
"Dawg"
Me:
"Heyboy
"
Tbose:
"Howi
syou"
Me:
"I
'm notgoodbr
a"
Tbose:
"What
sap?
"
Me:
"PK'
ssi
ster
"
Tbose:
"Thathotmama?
"
Me:
"Ohpl
easeshei
snothot
"
Hel
aughed
"
Okayf
ineshei
shot
"
Tbose:
"Whatdi
dshedot
oyou"
Me:"
Sheoffer
edme1.
5m t
oleav
eherbr
other
al
onecabanga"
Tbose:
"Tj
ooobutwhy
?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowucabangaukut
hingi
yi
qol
a"
(
shethi
nksI'
m agol
ddigger)
Tbose:
"Sowhatdi
dyousay
"
Me:
"It
oldhert
ofuckof
f"
Tbose:
"Youshoul
dhav
etookt
hemoneyand
pl
ayedher"
Me:
"Shesentasnaket
ome"
Tbose:
"Yhooar
eyouokay
?"
Me:
"HowcanIbeokayTbose"
Tbose:
"I
'm sor
ryman"
Me:"
Sheloat
hemeandIdon'
tknowwhycan
youdosomesear
chaboutherpr
ett
ypl
ease"
Tbose:
"I
twi
l
lcosty
oubr
a"
Me:
"Comeonai
n'
twef
ri
ends"
Tbose:
"Okayf
ine"
Me:
"IknowIal
way
scountony
ou"
Tbose:
"Any
timemyman"
Me:
"Ngi
kgcwel
e"(
Ilov
eyou)
Tbose:
"Ugcwal
ayi
mikuqal
a"(
Ilov
eyouf
ir
st)
wehungup.
Therestoft
heweekwentbyt
oosl
owImust
say
.
PKi
ssti
ll
madatmeandhei
snotanswer
ing
mycal
l
s.
Hewassupposet
ocomeyesterdayashe
al
wayscomeonFri
day
sbutthisti
mehedidn'
t.
Tboseisst
il
ldi
ggingsomeinfoaboutPhuml
a
andIaskedhi
mt ofindawayofmakingPKto
comethissi
de.SoitwasSatur
dayandIwasoff
.
Itwitchedmywr istandchecktheti
me.Iwas
wait
ingf orTbosewhowasbr ingi
ngPKat
Kl
oofzichtLodge.
Afterwhatf
eltl
i
kef
orev
ert
heyar
ri
veIwentt
o
them
PKl ookedbabari
ng(hot)i
nhisr
ippedjeanand
blackpologolf
ert-
shir
twithwhi
telecoqsport
if
sneakers.
Me:"
Greet
ings"Theybot
hgreet
edback"
PK"He
l
ookedatmeandsai dnothi
ng.
Ikneeledinfrontofhim."I
'm sorr
yIm soso
sorryforeveryt
hingIloveyousomuchandI
don'twannalosey ou.I'
m scaredokaybut
pleasedon'tgiveuponme.Theweekwi t
hout
youwashel lapainfulandi t
smademer eali
ze
thatIdon'twanttospendany mor edays
withoutyou.Pleasebel i
evemewhenIsayy ou
havemyhear t
.Youar eev eryt
hingIwanti na
guyIwoul dbeaf ooltol etyougopl easemy
l
ov egivemeasecondchancet oshowy outhat
Iloveandv al
uey ou"Tear sfal
lonmyf ace.He
l
ookedatmeemot ionlessly
"I
'
m sor
ry"Iwhi
spered.Hepul
l
edmeupand
ki
ssedmesenselessl
y.
PK:
"Il
oveyout
oo"hesmi
l
edmaki
ngmet
o
smi
letoo.
Tbose:
"Wel
ll
ovebi
rdsl
etmego"
PK:
"Iwi
l
lgety
ouf
ort
hisman"
Tbosel
aughedandwi
nkedatmet
henhegoti
n
hi
scarandlef
t."
Imi
ssyou"
Me:"
Imissyoutoo"Wekissedagainthenwe
wenttothehotbal
loonai
r.Hewrappedhis
ar
msar oundmybodyast hebal
loonflewi
nthe
ai
r.Itwassoamazingwat chi
ngt hecit
ywhil
e
dri
ft
ingawaythroughtheclouds.Wehada
bott
leofbubbl
yandsnacksov eralovebi
rds
conversat
ionf
ortheenti
rehouri nthebal
l
oon.
PK:
"Thi
sisamazi
ngbaby
"
Me:
"Youar
eamaz
ing"Iki
ssedhi
m.
Uponlandingwehadbr eakf
astspaf ol
lowed
af
terbreakfast,head-
totoesati
sfacti
on.I
wantedust ospendt hewholedayt ogether
af
terpamper ingwer el
axedonthebedi neach
ot
her'sarms.
PK:
"Howi
sourson?
"
Me:
"Gr
owi
ngev
ery
day
"
PK:
"BabeIneedt
hedunny
"
Igotupfrom hi
m all
owinghimtodothesame.
Hedisappearedtothebathr
oom.It
ookoffthe
gownandl ai
dont hebedwithmystomach.
"Babe"Ipr
etendedtobeasl
eep"
Ohwoow!"he
screamedIlaughed"Youmakemef
eelspeci
al"
Dur
ingt
heweekIt
att
ooedmyneckandmybut
t.
OnmyneckIhadmyson'
snamet
henonmy
but
titPK'
sname
Me:
"Youar
especi
alt
ome"
PK:
"Di
dithur
t"
Me:
"Ofcour
se"
PK:
"Il
ovei
t.
..Ihopeitwasaf
emal
e.."
Ilaughed
bef
oreheevenf i
nish
Me:"
Eveni
fitwasaguydoesn'
tthatt
att
oor
ing
abel
l?"
PK:
"Ri
ngabel
l
?"
Me:"
Thaty
ouar
etheonewhot
apt
hatass
baby
"
Hegr i
nnedandki
ssedmyt att
oothenherest
ed
hisheadonmybut tdrawingpatt
ernsonthe
tatt
oo.MyphonevibratedItooki
tandviewed
themessagefrom Tbose.
"
HeydawgI
'
m sor
ryt
odi
stur
byouIcoul
dn'
t
waitt
otellyouthi
s.Apparentl
yPhuml
a's
husbandwasy ourmom'sman.Phuml atook
himfrom yourmotheraf
terthaty
ourmom
vani
shedintothi
nair"
Ohmygoodnessnowi t
sclearwhyshedetest
meWai thesai
dmymom v anishedaft
ert
hat
coul
ditbepossi
blet
hatPhuml aki
ll
edmy
mother
?
.
.
i
tsupt
oya'
l
lnunuzf
or31
#Si
qhubaUsi
koLePar
ti
cipat
ion
[
06/
01,
08:
07]W:
31
KUHLEKONKE
•
"
Wher
ewer
ewe?
"Hesai
daf
terhangi
ngup
Me:"Youwereaboutt
oki
ssme"Hesmi
rkedand
l
ickedhisl
i
psthenhepul
ledmecl
oset
ohis
bodywit
hmywai
st.Hebr
ushedhi
sli
psagai
nst
mine.
"Ki
ssmeal r
eadybefor
ey ourphoneringagain"I
sai
dwi t
hinmy self
.Myey esautomatical
lyshut
ashepr essedhisli
psagainstmine.Wekissed
soslowly,deepl
yandpassi onat
elymystomach
fl
utt
ered.
Damnheissuchagoodki
sserwepul
lapar
t
af
terawhil
eIsl
owl
yopenedmyeyesasIwas
st
il
ldi
zzy
.
I
na:
"Wow"Ichuckl
ed"YouknowIwasthi
nki
ng
whynotf
etchSbongaIwantt
ospendt
henight
wi
thyou"
Me:
"Wecanspendt
heni
ghtatmydad'
shouse"
I
na:
"Yourdaddyi
sscar
y"
Me:
"Hei
snott
her
e"
I
na:
"Nobabywhati
fhecomesback"
Me:
"Okayy
ouarerightpl
ushedoesn'
tl
iket
he
i
deaofusbei
ngtogether
"
I
na:
"Why
?"
Me:
"Hesaywecan'
tbot
hbei
nar
elat
ionshi
p
wi
thsi
bli
ngs"
Ina:
"Ahwel
lmi
naIlov
eyouKonkeandnoone
canmakemechangemymindIwanttobewi
th
you"
Me:"
Ial
solovey ouI
nabutIhaveaf eel
ingthat
nooneisgoi
ngt osupportourr
elat
ionshi
p.I
meandadalreadydoesn'
tli
ketheideaofus
bei
ngtoget
her.Whatifyourpar
entsdoesn't
appr
oveofus"
I
na:
"Whywoul
dtheynotappr
ove"
Me:"I
namandl
aI'mfi
vey
ear
sol dert
henyou,I
haveasonandI'
m al
sot
hereasonbehi
ndy our
cousi
n'sbr
eakup"
I
na:"
BabyIdon'tcar
ehowol darey ouandIlove
Sbongali
kemyownson.Youdi dBuhlebenkosi
afavourtoshowherwhatascumbagwasshe
goi
ngt ocommithersel
fto.Sopleasedon'tf
eel
bad"
Me:"IdontknowIna"If
reedmysel
ffrom hi
m"I
real
l
ydon' tknow"Hewalkedcl
osetomeand
huggedme
I
na:
"Youwor
ryt
oomuchy
ouandIar
egoi
ngt
o
bef
ine"
Me"Let
'sgofetchSbongaImi
sshi
m now"We
wenttofet
chSbongaandboughtMcDsbur
gers
f
orsupperthenwewentt omypar
ent
shouse.
Wechi llj
ustthe3ofusandi twassol ovel
y.
I
nabr oughtpeaceandhappinessinmyl if
eina
waythatIcan'texplai
n.Iwon'tl
ieIhavenever
i
magi nemy sel
ffal
li
nginlovewithsomeone
youngerthenme." Mvelonevercontact
edyou"
I
na:
"Nah"
Me:
"Iwonderhowi
sheandwher
eishe"
I
na:
"Hewi
l
lcomebackonedaydon'
twor
ry"
Myphoner
angi
twasSi
sAnne
Me:
"Si
sAnne"
Si
sAnne:
"Heysweet
yhowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm goodwhatabouty
ou"
Si
sAnne:"
I'
mfi
nemylov
e..
.wearebackin
busi
nessnowy
ougotamov i
etoshoot
"
Me:
"Youl
i
e!"
SisAnne:
"I
mt el
l
ingy
ouin3weeksti
mewehav e
togotoCapeTwony ouneedt
ostar
tlooki
ng
forananny"
Me:
"OhCapeTown"Isai
dlowl
y
Si
sAnne:
"Yesy
oudon'
tsoundhappy
"
Me:"I
m happySisAnne"Ili
edIwasn' thappyat
al
lfi
rstIcan'
tleav
emysonf ortoolongIknow
i
ttaketwomont hsifnotmoret oshootamov i
e
andsecondlyInaandIjuststar
teddatingnowI
havetoleavehim.
SisAnne:
"I
fyousaysol
ookIhav
etogoIwi
l
l
call
you"
Me:
"Okayt
hanky
ou"
Ina:
"Arey
ouokay
"Ibi
temyt
oungeandl
ooked
athim
Me:"Uhm t
hatwasmyagentIhav
eamov
iet
o
shootinCapeTown"
I
na:
"Oh"
Me:
"I
'm sorryI
nabutt
hatdoesn'
tchanget
he
wayIf
eel abouty
ou"
I
na:
"Whenar
eyoul
eav
ingandhowl
ongwi
l
lyou
begone"
Me:
"I
n3weekst
ime,
fort
womont
hs"
I
na:
"YhoKonke"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
I
na:
"WhataboutSbonga"
Me:"
Iwill
f i
ndanannyandt akehim wi
thmeI
t
hinkIt
sbet tert
hatwayIcan'tl
eavemysonf
or
t
womont hs"
I
na:
"I
tst
imef
orhi
sni
ghtbat
h"Hest
oodup
"Let
'sgobat
hbigboy"Isighedashewalkedout
Icouldseet
hathewasn'ttaki
ngthenewsgreat
.
Igotupandwenttot
hem.Hei ssogoodwith
him.
Me:"I
'
m sor
rybabyIneedyoursuppor
tIhaven'
t
beenworki
ngforqui
telongthi
sisabigbr
eak
forme"
I
na:
"Isuppor
tyoumybaby
"hewasn'teven
l
ooki
ngatme.Iwentt
ohim andhuggedhim
f
rom behi
nd
Me:"Iknowi t
'sunfai
rthatwej usst
art
edseeing
eachot herandnowI '
ml eavi
ng"Hesaidnothing
tomebutcont i
nuedtalkingtoSbongaashe
bathshim" Talktomepl ease"
I
na:"
It
'snotl
i
kewhatIwoul
dsaywi
l
lchangea
t
hing"
Me:
"ComeonI
na"
I
na:
"Don'
tgost
aywi
thme.
"
Me:
"I
nat
hisi
smycar
eerI
..
."
I
na:
"YouseewhatIt
oldy
ou"
Me:
"Youar
ebei
ngunf
airI
na.
..
"
Ina:
"Whatunfai
risthatyouareleavi
ngme
Konkeforthewholetwomont hsandwejust
star
tedwit
hourr el
ati
onship.It
smakeme
wonderisthi
showI twillbe.Youwil
lal
ways
l
eavemef ormont hs?"
Me:"
Idon'
twantt
oleav
eyouokaybuti
t'
swor
k
baby
"
I
na:
"Okay
"
Me:"
ComeonI natrytounderstandyoucanv
isi
t
mewheny oudon'thavel
ectures."Hesai
d
not
hing"
Workwi t
hmeher e!"
I
na:
"Don'
tyel
latme!
"
Me:"
Youarebei
ngunf
airhowwi
l
lyouf
eel
ifI
askyout
odropuni
ver
sity
?"
I
na:
"Thi
sisnott
hesame"
Me:
"I
tst
hesameI
na.
..
"hecutmeof
f
Ina:
"I
'm goi
ngoutf
orfewdri
nkspl
ease
conti
nuehere"HegavemeSbonga'scl
othand
walkedout.Myhear
tbrokeIbl
i
nkedbackmy
tear
s.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Aft
eral l
thesey earsIthoughtmom nev er
ret
urnedhomebecauseshedoesn' tcare.I
neverlookatitlikesomeonewhocoul dbedead
orsomet hi
ngbutnowI '
m wonderi
ng.Iswearif
shedidsomet hingt omymom shewi l
l payI
don'tcarethatshei sPK'ssi
ster
.
I
m goingtofi
ndoutwhathappenedtomy
motherandifshedi
dsomethi
ngt oherohhel
l
wi
llbreakl
ose!!
Me:
"Baby
"
PK:
"Mmh"
Me:
"Comeher
e"
PK:
"Ha.
a"
Me:
"Babycomeon"
PK:
"Ienj
oyi
ther
e"
Me:
"ButIwanty
ounextt
ome"
PK:
"Mh-
mh"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lfar
t"
PK:
"Si
esmaanKat"Hegotupfr
om mybut
t
i
mmediat
elyIcoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
augh.
Me:"
Come"Hecamet ol
ienexttomeIgoton
topofhi
m andki
ssedhi
mt henbur
iedmyhead
onhisneck.
"
Babyy
oursi
sterdoesn'
tl
ikeme"
PK:
"Whatdoy
oumean"
Me:
"Shehat
emebabyshet
hinksI
'
m af
tery
our
money"
PK:
"Aymaybeyoumisunderst
oodherbabyshe
l
oveyouandshespeaknicel
yofyou"
Thatwomani
spl
ayi
nghercar
dswel
l
!
Me:"
Shei
splay
ingy ouPKMondayshecamet
o
of
ferme1.
5m toleaveyoual
one"
Hel
aughedIdon'
tknowwhati
slaughabl
e.
PK:
"NonobabyPhumlawil
lnev
erdot
hat
"Igot
upf
rom hi
m andsatnextt
ohim
Me:
"Soy
oudon'
tbel
i
eveme?
"Il
ookedathi
m
PK:
"OhmyGody
ouar
eser
ious"Hesai
dsi
tt
ing
up
Me:"I
'
m damnfucki
ngseriousPKwhywoul dI
j
okewi t
hsomethi
ngbigli
ket hi
s.Yoursi
ster
doesn'
twantustobetogetherandsheis
wil
li
ngtodowhateveri
ttakestobreakusup.
Thefoll
owi
ngdayshesentasnaket ome"
PK:
"Howcouldshe?Thati
ssocruel
!"He
cl
enchedhi
sjaw"Allt
hist
imeshehavebeen
pr
etendi
ngtoli
keyouwhil
esheknowt hatshe
i
sonami ssi
ontobreakusapar
t!
"
Me:
"Yessheev
enshowedmeapi
cofy
ouand
somegi
rlki
ssi
ngonI
nst
agr
am"
Heswal l
owedhard"PKareyoucheatingonme?
Orisitt
ruewhatshesaythatI
mj usta
di
stract
ionyouwon'tl
eaveaneducated,
sophist
icat
edgi
rlf
oranuneducatedbaby
mamaofsomebi t
chnigga"
PK:"
Nobabysheisly
ingIl
oveyouKi
tKat
she.
.shemusthav
eshowny ouapi
ctur
eofmy
ex.
"
Me:
"Youar
ely
ingt
omePK"
PK:
"IswearbabyyouaretheonlywomanIl
ove
Iwi
llnev
erhurtyoul
ikethatpl
easebel
i
eveme
st
handwasami "
AtmomentIwascl
osef
rom cr
yingbutIdi
dn'
t
l
etthathappen
"Il
oveonewomanandt hati
syoupleasetel
lme
youbeli
eveme"Hecuppedmyf ace"You
bel
ievemeright
"Inoddedhekissedmy
for
ehead"Getdressedweareleavi
ng"
Me:
"Al
ready
"
PK:"
YesIwantt
osor
tPhuml
ashehadgonet
oo
far
!!
"
Me:"Youdon'
thavet
oaskherbabyIwasj
ust
tel
l
ingyouIdon'
twanty
ouguystofi
ght
becauseofme"
PK:
"Ohdon'
tworrymylov
enowpl easeletget
dr
essed"Hegotupandstar
tedgett
ingdressed
Me:
"Butbaby
..
."
PK:"
Don'tmakemer epeatmy self
!"Ishutmy
mout handgotupf rom thebedthenst art
ed
gett
ingdressed.Hecalledanubersi ncehe
di
dn'tcamewi thhiscar.Wear r
ivedtot he
apartment"GetinIwil
lseey oulater"
Me:
"Youdon'
thav
etodoi
tbaby
"
PK:"Il
oveyou"Wekissedbri
efl
ythenIjumped
outofthecarandmademywayup.Iwas
welcomebyt hemostbeauti
fulsi
ght
.Myl i
tt
le
si
sterwasbabytal
kingwithmysoni nherarms
I
twassocute.It
ookmyphoneandtooka
vi
deooft
hem andfewpicst
henwat
chthem
wit
hasmil
eonmyf ace
Thando:
"St
ari
ngi
srudesi
s"
Me:
"Howdi
dyouknowi
t'
sme"
Thando:"
Iknowyourl
ovel
yscent
"Iwalkedt
o
them andsatdownnextt
oheronthecouch
Me:
"Wher
eisYol
anda"
Thando:"
Int
hebat
hroom shehav
ear
uuny
tummy "
Me:
"Oht
hatbad.
.canIt
akehi
m"
Thando:
"No"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Whynot
"
Thando:"
Ihaven'thadenoughofhi
m.Heis
suchaprettythangthatyoucanst
areal
lday
andnight"Ismil
ed
Me:
"Neh"Yol
andaemer
gedl
ooki
ngf
lushed
"
HeyYola"
Yol
anda:
"HeyTj
omyt
ummyi
sgi
vi
ngmea
hel
l
uvati
me"
Me:
"Whatdi
dyoueat
?"
Yol
anda:
"Nor
mal
food"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryy
oucanl
eav
eI'
m backnowand
t
hankyou"
Yol
anda:
"Nopr
obl
em Iwi
l
lseey
ouonMonday
"
Me:
"Yeahsur
e"shebi
dfar
ewel
landl
eft
Thando:
"Sohowdi
dItgo?
"
Me:
"Wel
lwear
efi
ne"
Thando:
"It
houghty
ouwi
l
lcomewi
thhi
m"
Me:"
Heiscominglat
erhewenttohissi
stert
o
gi
veherhi
spieceofmind"Isi
ghed
Thando:
"Why
"
Me:"
Sheoffer
edme1.5m t
oleaveherbr
other
andIthi
nksheist
heonethatsentt
hesnake"
Thando:
"Tj
ooobutwhy
?"
Me:"Shehat
emel i
tt
lesi
sandIfoundoutt
hat
herhusbandwasmom' smanandmom
di
sappearedint
othi
nairaf
tert
hat"shewi
dened
hereyes
Thando:
"Yout
hinkshedi
dsomet
hingt
omom?
"
Me:"
Yesthere'
sapossi
bil
i
tyIi
ntendt
ofi
ndout
whathappened"
Thando:"
CouldI
tbepossi
blethataft
ersomany
year
sthinki
ngmom abandoneduskantishe
waskil
ledorsomethi
ngclosetothat
"
Me:"I'
m afr
aidsosisbutIwil
lfi
ndout.Pl
ease
don'ttel
lanyoneaboutt
hisunti
lIknowforsur
e
whathappened.Ididn'
ttel
lPKIwantt of
indout
fi
rstwhathappened"
Thando:
"OkayIwon'
tsi
s.Iwishmom isaliv
e
yazyouknowIknownothingaboutherIcan'
t
evenrememberhowdoesshel ookl
ike"
Me:
"Youar
eherdupl
i
cat
e"
Thando:
"Il
ookl
i
keher
?"
Me: "
Yesyoutookeveryt
hingfr
om herunl
ikeme
Itooknothi
ngfrom herI
'm sur
eIt
ookf r
om my
father"
Thando:
"Iwi
sht
omeetmyf
atheroneday
"
Me:
"Met
oohey
"
Thando:"
May
bePhuml
a'
shusbandi
syour
fat
her?"
Me:
"Orhecoul
dbey
ourf
ather
"
Thando:
"Shewil
lhateusmoreifoneofust
urn
outtobeherhusband'
sdaught
er"
Me:"
Ifshedidsomethi
ngt oMamat hatmeans
ourl
iveswil
lbenotsaf
ei foneofusturnoutt
o
beherhusband'
sdaughter"
Thando:
"Youcansayt
hatagai
n"
Me:
"ButIwon'
tl
ethert
ouchy
ou"
Thando:
"AndIknowy
ouwon'
t"Shesmi
l
ed.
Me:
"Letmecal
lTbose"Idi
aledhi
m
Tbose:
"Dawg"hepant
ed
Me:
"Youar
efucki
ng?
"Hel
aughed
Tbose:
"WhatcanIdof
ory
ouy
ourf
ri
endi
s
complai
ning"
Me:
"Tel
lhert
obackof
f"
"
Youaredi
stur
bingusKat!
"scr
eamedToy
ain
t
hebackgr
ound.Il
aughed
Tbose:
"Yougotmymessage"
Me:"
Igotyourmessagebr
ashocki
ngheydo
youthi
nkshedidsomethi
ngt
omom"
Tbose:
"I
tcan'
tbeacoi
nci
dencet
hatshe
di
sappearedaf
ter
"
Me:
"Pl
easedi
gsomemor
einf
o"
Tbose:
"Okaynopr
obl
em"
Me:"Car
ryonwit
hyourfucki
ngsession"He
l
aughedIhungup.Igotti
met ospendwithmy
si
sterwatchi
ngmoviesandeati
ngjunk.
Wehardlyspendqual
i
tyti
meduringtheweek
cozIcomebackhomet i
redandsleepandshe
al
way shavetonsofschoolworkt
odo.PK
walkedinandkissedmylipst
hentookLami
fr
om Thando
PK:
"Chi
cken"
Thando:
"Heybut
i"
Hesatdownandj
oinedus
PK:
"Hel
l
oboydaddymi
ssy
ou"Heki
ssedLami
Me:
"Howdi
ditgo"
PK:
"Shewon'
tbot
hery
ouagai
ndon'
twor
ry"
Sundaymor
ningIwokeupi
nPK'
sar
ms.
Islowlyremov edhishandsonmywai stand
kissedhisli
pst henr olloutofbed.Ipulleda
robeanddr aggedmy selft
othebathroom
wher eItookal ongassshower .Aft
erf i
nishi
ng
shower i
ngIdried, l
otionedandgotdr essedinto
PK'sboxer ,
spor tbraandsl eeper
s.Iki ssedmy
sononhi sforeheadandwentt othekitchento
preparebreakfast.
PKwal
kedi
nwi
thLami
aft
erawhi
l
e
PK:
"Mor
ningmyKi
tKat
"
Me:"
Morni
ngst
handwasami
"(myl
ove)We
ki
ssed
PK:
"Heneedanappychange"
Me:
"Youhav
ehandsnj
ebaby
"
PK:"
Idon'
tknowhowt
odoi
t"Il
ookedathi
m
wit
har ai
sedbr
ow
Me:
"Hat
hat
'sal
i
e"Hel
aughed
PK:
"Ser
ious"
Me:"
Ha.
ahei
syoursont
oogoandchangehi
m
baby
"
PK:
"Babycomeon"
Me:"Somuchofaf at
heryouar e"ItookLami
andwenttochangehisdiaper.Iwashedmy
handswhenIfini
shedandwal kedbackt ot he
ki
tchenandgavePKLami ."Iwillgocall
Thando"Iwenttoherbedroom If oundhersti
l
l
sleepingwhichi
sstr
angesheneversl
eepunti
l
9o' cl
ock.Ir
emovedthecover
sfr
om herhead.
"Siswakeup"Ishookher
Thando:
"Mmh"
Me:
"Wakeup"
Thando:
"Idon'
tfeel
sogood"
Me:
"What
'swr
ong?
"
Thando:
"Myj
oint
sar
epai
nful
andmywhol
e
body"
It
ouchedherf
oreheadshewasbur
ningl
i
kef
ir
e
Me:"Yourt
emperatur
eishi
gh..
.Ithi
nky ouar
e
catchi
ngfl
uegetupandhav ebreakfastIwi
l
l
giv
ey oumedi
cationaft
ert
hat"
Thando:
"Justonehour
"
Me:
"Nosweet
hear
tgetupnow"
Thando:"
OkayfineIwil
washmyf acefi
rstand
j
oinyou"Iwalkedtotheki
tchenwhereIfound
PKalreadyeati
ng
Me:
"Whosai
dyoucanst
arteat
ing"Hel
aughed
PK:
"Sor
ry.
..wher
eischi
cken?
"
Me:
"Shei
scomi
ng.
.shehav
efev
er"
PK:
"Let
'st
akehert
othehospi
tal
"
Me:
"Idohav
emedi
cat
ion"
PK:
"Great
"Thandodr
aggedher
sel
fin"
Oh
chi
ckenI'
m sor
ry"
Thando:
"Thanksbut
i"shesatdownweat
e.
Mondaymorni
ngIwokeupandi
ronedour
cl
othest
henwentt
owakePK.
Me:
"Lov
ewakeup"
PK:
"Fewmor
emi
nut
es"
Me:"
I'
m goi
ngt
obelat
ebaby"Hegr
oanedand
gotup.Wemadet
hebedtoget
hert
henwewent
tobath.
Af
terbathwedri
ed,lot
ionedandgotdressed.I
wenttocheckonThando."Sl
aybabe"
Thando:
"Idon'
thav
eener
gysi
s"
Me:
"Don'
tgot
oschool
then"
Thando:
"CanIsl
eepal
it
tl
eIpr
omi sewhenI
wakeupIwill
eatandt
akemedicati
on"
Me:
"OkayIl
ovey
ou"
Thando:
"Il
oveyoutoo"Iki
ssedherbur
ning
for
eheadMe:"I
fyougetworsecal
lmeokay "
Thando:
"Iwi
l
lbef
inedon'
twor
ry"
Me:"Sure"Iwentouttoprepar ebreakf
astfor
PKsi ncehedoesn'teatcereal.Imademy sel
fa
cerealformy sel
f.Weateov eraconversat
ion
thenYol andacame."Thandogotf l
ueplease
checkonher "
Yol
a:"
Okay
"
Me:
"Il
ovey ou"Isai
dwr
appi
ngmyar
msar
ound
PKandkissedhim
PK:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Me:
"Cal
lmewheny
ougett
oKZN"
PK:
"Wi
l
ldo"Heki
ssedme
Me:
"Ihav
etogonow"
PK:
"Imi
ssy
ou"Hepout
edIki
ssedhi
m
Me:
"Imi
ssy
out
oo.
..
hav
easaf
etr
ip"
PK:
"Thanky
ouhav
eagr
eatday
"
Me:"
Thankyoumylove"Hespankedmybut
tas
It
urnedtowal
koutIgiggl
ed.
Ther estoft
hedaywasbori
ngwor
seToyawas
offtodayIcoul
dn'
twai
tformyt
imetoknock
off.
Afterwhatfel
tli
keforeverIknockedof
f.AsI
waswai t
ingforacabt otakemehomeacar
pull
edoff.Twoguy sgetoutofitanddragged
mei nsi
deofthecar.Iscreamedandkickingas
theydroveoffwit
hme
Guy
1:"
Shutup!
"
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me"Icr
ied
Guy2:
"Shutt
hef
uckup"
Me:"Pleasedon' thurtmepl ease"Iwasso
scaredIwascl osefrom peeingmy sel
f"Tel
lme
whaty ouwantIhav esomemoneyIcangi v
e
youjustdon' thurtmepl ease"Ibeggedwith
tearsfall
i
ngdownmyf ace.Wegott othi
s
i
solatedar eatheydraggedmeoutoft hecar
withmyhai rIscreamedi nagony .
Theybothstar
tedkicki
ngmeandbeat ingme
upunti
lIfal
ldownont hegr
ound.Ibegged
them t
ostopbuttheyhadnomer cyIfeltmy
bodyshutti
ngdownasev er
yki
ckl andedonmy
body.
Guy2:"
It
senoughnowl et'
sgo"Isawthem
get
ti
nginthecaranddroveoff.Mywholebody
wasinpainIcoul
dn'
tbreathever
ythi
ngwent
bl
ankwithi
nthoseseconds.
.
.
ThankYou.
.Li
keCommentShar
e
[
06/
01,
08:
08]W:
32
KUHLEKONKE
•
Lookingf
oranannyi snochil
d'
splayyoucan't
j
ustpickanyone.Ii
nter
viewed10peopletoday
andtheotherfi
veseem goodandknowt heir
stor
ybutI'
m sti
lli
ndeci
sive.
Idon'
twanttotakesomeonewhowi ll
bea
ni
ghtmaret
omyson.Ir ememberfewy ear
s
backwhenavideoofanannythatabuseda
chi
ldwasal
loversoci
alnet
works.
I'
m sureyourememberthatvi
deothenanny
evenstoodwithherf
eetonthechil
d'
sstomach
i
twassuchasadt hi
ngtowatchmyhear t
fl
inchedpai
nful
lywhenIthi
nkofthatvi
deo.
I
namandl adi
dn'tcomebackonSat ur
dayafter
helef
ttohave"f ewdri
nks"soIlethi
m be.
Trut
hbet ol
dhei snotbei
ngfairatal
lI
underst
andthatitqui
tesadthatIwil
lbegone
fort
womonthsbuthecan'
tsayImustdrop
ever
ythi
ngohcomeonthati
schil
dish.
Me:"ThankyouIwi l
lcal
lyou"shesmil
edand
walkedout.Isi
ghed"Whhumyboyi tseemslike
thi
sisgoingtobeahar dworkthenIt
hought"
Hejustlookedatmeandsmi ledashewas
seatedonthefleecebl
anketonthefl
oor.Toy
s
scatter
edaroundhim.
Igotupandwentt
omakemy
sel
fsomet
hingt
o
eat.
Imadesandwi chandj ui
cethentookthe
yoghurtforSbonga.IheardabuzzIwentto
opent hegateaswellasthedoor.Inamandla'
s
Jeepdr ovei
nandpul l
edupi nt
hedr i
veway .He
steppedoutofthecarcarryi
ngbunchof
fl
ower sandaboxofmyf avour
it
echocolates.
Heclosedt
hedoorwi t
hhisbuttandwal ked
towar
dsJesushiswalkscreamsconfidence
andhealwayslookhot.Hegottomydoor st
ep
seei
nghisfacemelt
edmyhear tbutIdidn't
wanthi
mt othi
nkhewi
llt
hrowt
ant
rumsandI
wi
llj
ustsmil
eli
keachi
l
dwhosawacandy
st
ore.
I
na:
"Gr
eet
ingsMaZwane"
Me:
"Hey
"
Ina:
"CanIcomei n"Imadeaspaceforhi
mt o
walkin.Theki
tchenwaspervadedbyhissweet
scent.
"I
'
m sor r
yIwaschi ldishandegocent ri
cI
shouldn'
thav ereactedt hatway.Thethoughtof
spendingtwomont hsawayf rom y
ouki l
l
edmy
soul.Iunderstandhowmuchdoesy ourcar
eer
meant oy ouandknowt hatyouaremyhugef an.
Isupporty oubabypl easeforgiv
eme"Hewas
sosincere
Me:
"i
t'
sokayIunder st
andandthankyouso
muchforyoursupportit
smeanstheworldto
me"Heflashedhisgorgeoussmil
eghaaad
muhl
eloguy !
!!
Ina:
"Beaut
if
ulfl
owerst
oabeaut
if
ull
ady
"I
blushedandtookt
hefl
ower
sandaboxof
chocolat
es
Me:"
Thankyou"Iputt
hef
lower
sint
hev
aseand
pour
edwaterinit
.
Hehav eawayofhol di
ngmey ouknow,Idon't
knowi fi
tcomeswi thbeingbuf forwhatIcan'
t
expl
ainitbutitmakemywhol ebodyexper i
ence
butt
erfli
esandf eelsafe.Heki ssedmeso
passionatel
yhistoungeinvadinginmymout hI
couldn'
thelpbutmoansof tly
I
na:"
Whereist
hel
it
tl
eman"Hesai
daf
ter
br
eakingt
heki
ss
Me"I
nthel
ounge.
..
youwantsomet
hingt
oeator
dr
ink"
Ina:
"Iwil
leatwithyou"Hesai
dtaki
ngt hepl
ate
andt hej
uice.It
ooktheyogur
tthenwemade
ourwayt othelounge."
Heybi
gboy "Sbonga
l
ookedathi m andbeamedshowinghisbabies.
Inaputthefoodont heglasstableandpicked
upSbongat hrowinghimint heai
rhegiggled
sali
vacomingoutofhi smout h."
Hellobi
gguy "
Hesatdownput ti
nghim onhislapasIsat
downt oo.Iopenedt heyoghurtandgaveitto
Ina "Speedkil
lssonIwillfeedyou"Igi
gged
andgav ehimt hespoonthenhest ar
tedfeedi
ng
Sbonga.
"
Sohaveyout
houghtaboutt
heI
mbel
eko
Cer
emony
"
Me:
"There'
snothingt
othi
nkabout
..
.openy
our
mouth"hedidIfedhi
m
I
na:
"ButbabeI
thav
etobedone"
Me:"
Say
swho? "Idr
ankt
hej
uiceaf
tert
aki
nga
bi
teoft
hesandwich.
I
na:
"Ourt
radi
ti
on"
Me:
"Idon'
tbel
i
evei
nthoset
hingsmi
naI
ma
Chr
ist
ian"
I
na:
"Ohpl
easey
oudon'
tev
enknowwher
eist
he
doorofy ourf
ather
'schurch.St
opbei
ng
stubbornfornogoodreasonSbonganeedt
obe
i
ntroducedtohisancestors.
"
Me:
"OhsonowI
'
m unr
easonabl
e?"
I
na:"
Yesy
ou.
."Ishov
edapi
eceofsandwi
chi
n
hi
smouth
Me:
"Eatcoznowy
out
alkt
oomuch"Hel
aughed
I
na:"
Youwillregrett
hisandIwi llberi
ghtnextt
o
youcomfort
ingy ou"Isai
dnot hingcozthetopi
c
wasreal
lyol
dnow.Whycan' tt heyunderst
and
whenIsayIwantnot hingthatgott odowith
t
hatfamil
yyer r
!
"
Imi
ssy
ourcooki
ng"
Me:
"I
sthatawayofaski
ngmet
ocookf
ory
ou
MrSi
thol
e"
I
na:
"Yespl
ease"
Me:
"Ki
ssmef
ir
st"Hebabyki
ssedme
"
I'
m notababyI
na"Hel
aughed
I
na:
"Youar
emybabynj
ena"
Me:"
ButIdon'
tdobabyki
ssest
heyar
efor
Sbonga"
Hekissedmyf or
ehead,
thespacebet
weenmy
eyes,mynoseandmyl i
ps"MmmhnowIwi l
l
cookforyou"
Wegotupandwentt othekit
chenwherehe
placedSbongaonthecount
erandsatonhi
gh
chairasIpr
eparedmysel
ftostar
tcooki
ng.
Me:"
Ineedt
hepi
cswet
ookont
hecl
i
fft
heyar
e
socute"
Hetookouthi
sphoneandpl
acedi
tont
he
count
er.
I
na:
"Youcanshar
ethem t
oyourphone"
Me:"Letmegetmyphone"Iwenttomy
bedroom andt
ookmyphone.Ihadtonsof
missedcall
sfr
om daddysoIcal
ledhi
m back
Dad:"
JesusKonkewhyareyounotanswer
ing
yourphonei
t'
sunli
keyouhereIam nowworr
ied
si
ckabouty
ou!
!"
Me:"I
'm sor
rydaddyIwasbusyIwantananny
forSbonga.Igotamoviet
oshootinCape
TwonandIneedoneasap"
Dad:
"Youar
eleav
inghi
m behi
nd?
"
Me:
"NoI
'
mtaki
nghi
m wi
thme"
Dad:
"Okayar
eyour
eadyt
houghpr
incess?
"
Me:
"Yesfat
herI
mr eadyIhav
en'
tbeenworki
ng
f
orquit
esometime.Thisi
swhatIneed"
Dad:
"I
'm happyforyoubabygir
lshowem what
youmadeof .I
ftheythoughtt
henudesandthe
vi
deowillbr
ingyoudownt hentheygota
sur
pri
secomi ngthei
rway "
Me:
"Ohy
aaasssdaddy..
Thanky
ouheyi
t'
sgood
t
oknowIhaveyoursuppor
t"
Dad:"
YouaremydaughterKonkeit'smyj ob.I
hopeyouwil
lreconsi
derwhatwet alkedabout.
I'
m sur
eyoudon'twanttobedist
urbeddur ing
shooti
ngwhenSbongast ar
ttogetsick"
Ir
oll
edmyey
es
Me:
"LookIhav
etogodaddypleasesendmy
l
ovetomom andl
it
tl
ebro"Il
aughedatMOM
Dad:"
Runawayitsfi
neyouwil
lmi
ssmeone
day"Hehungup.Ihuff
edandwentt
othe
ki
tchenIf
oundInaplayi
ngwi
thanonstop
gi
ggli
ngSbonga.
Fora20yearol
dheisr
eal
lyamazi
ngwheni
t'
s
comestoSbongaandt
hatmakemelov
ehim
more.
ItookIna'
sphoneandbr owsedthroughhis
photosImar kedthem onebyoneandpaused
foramomentwhenmyey eslai
donot her
photos.If
eltheatandperspi
rat
ionengulf
ingmy
wholebody.Il ookedathi
m ashewasbusy
playi
ngwithSbonga
Me:
"Nkosi
namandl
a"Hel
ookedatmet
hewayI
wasshaki
ngal
armedhi
m
I
na:
"Babewhat
'swr
ong"
Me:
"Whydoy
ouhav
emynudesony
ourphone!
"
Hewi
ncedpoppi
nghi
sey
esout
"
I'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou!
"
I
na:
"I
tsnotwhaty
outhi
nkbabyI
'
m nott
heone
whopost
edthem "
Me:"Ofcoursey ouarenott heonewhopost ed
them butwhydoy ouhavet hem inyourphone
huh?Whywoul dy oukeepsomet hi
nginyour
phonet hatyouwer enevermeantt osee,
somet hingthatrui
nedar eputat
ionofsomeone
youclaimt olove!!
"
HeputSbongadownandwalkedt
omehe
at
temptedt
oholdmebutIbackedaway
"Don'
tyoudaretouchmeIna!Al
lthi
sti
meyou
hadmynudeswi thyou!Doyouknowhowdoes
thatmakemef eel
?Howcouldyoudothist
o
me!"Tear
sfloweddownmycheeks
I
na:
"Ngi
yaxol
isaKonkeInevermeantanyhar
m
I
mreall
ysorr
y .IknowIwassupposet
odelet
e
t
hem"
Me:"Whydi dn'
tyoudelet
et hem huh?Why!
Nkosinamandl awhatdoy ouwantf r
om me
actual
ly?Youwantt oscrewmeanddi t
chme
ri
ght?Youact ual
lywanttot ast
ewhatyousee
i
nt hosepicsandl eav
eme! "
I
na:"
That
'snott
rue"Hehel
dmyhandIyankedi
t
of
f"Il
oveyouIreal
lydol
oveI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:"YouknowwhatIdon'tthi
nkwecandot hi
s.
YouandIarenotont hesamepage.Ithought
youlovemebutyouj ustwanttofuckme.I
haveneverfel
tdi
srespectedl
ikeIam r
ightnow.
Pleasel
eave"
I
na:
"St
handwasa.
..
."
Me:
"Getout
!"
Ina:
"Pl
easedon'
tdothist
ousyouknowwegot
somethingsospeci
algoi
ngonbet
weenus"
Me:"
Ithoughtsot
oobuty
oujustpr
ov edme
ot
herwiseleav
eIdon'
twantt
oseey ouagai
n"I
wi
pedt
ear
svi
gor
ousl
y
I
na:
"Baby
..
."
Me:
"Isai
ddon'
ttouchme!
!"
I
na:
"Ngi
yakt
handaKonke!
!"
Me:
"Getoutofmypar
ent
'
shouse!
"
Hesighedheavi
l
yt henhemadehi
swayout
j
ustthenSbongabursti
ntoal
oudsobl
ooki
ng
atI
na.
Heswivel
l
edar oundandlookedatSbongawit
h
ey
esthatwer efi
l
ledwit
hpain.Hewalkedto
hi
m andpickedhim uphestoppedcry
ing.
Ina:"I
'm sor
ryboybutIlov
ey ousomuch"He
kissedhi sf
oreheadthenhegavehimtome.He
swiv el
ledaroundtowalkawaySbongastar
ted
cryingthisti
mehedidn'ttur
naroundbutwalk
away .
Me:"Awuthul
enawehambeukhakhelel
aabantu
bantu!I
my ourmothernothi
m!"(
Shutupand
stopcryi
ngforot
herpeople)
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Icoul
dn'
tbreat
hmynosewasbl
ockedandmy
wholebodywassor
edamnIhat
etobesick.
Ihavebeeninbedf
ort
hewholeday.Si
s
Yolandanur
sedmeandI'
m sogr
ateful
.
Mymindhavebeenreel
i
ngwit
hthought
saf
ter
t
heconver
sati
onIhadwithmysi
ster
.
Thethoughtal
onet hatourmom couldbedead
ki
ll
edme.YesIhat edherforabandoningusbut
nowtherecouldbeapossi bi
l
ityt
hatshedidn'
t
doitonpurpose.
Ipr
aythatshei
sali
veat
leastIwi
shtomeether
Iwantt
oknowt hewomanthatgavebi
rt
htome.
Ihaveal
ottoaskherandIal
sowantt
oknow
whoismyfather
?Doesheknowaboutme?But
mostimpor
tantl
yIwantt
obuil
darel
ati
onshi
p
wit
hher.
Myphonevi
brat
edundert
hepi
l
lowIf
iddl
edmy
handandt
ookit
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
Prett
y:"
Bitch!"shescreamedPr et
tyisl
oud
i
sdalosakhe.Shei smyf r
iendthere'
s3ofus
actual
lytheot heroneisKarabo.Wear edoi
ng
thesamegr adeinoneclassroom andweshare
thedesk.
Me:"
Isf
ebeuny
oko"(
Bit
chi
syourmom)she
l
aughed
Pr
ett
y:"
Howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
nfl
uenzai
ski
l
li
ngmebabe"
Pret
ty:
"Ohshamethat'
ssosadbutdon' tworr
y
wedidn'tdoany
thi
ngatschool.Ouryummy
cl
assteacherwasverywor
ri
edt haty
ouwer e
absentverywor
ri
edIfImustsaywhat '
sgoing
on'
Me:
"Hewantmysi
ster"
Pr
ett
y:"
Ohshamedoesn'
theknowt
haty
our
si
stergother
sel
fahunk"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Heknowsy
ouknowhowguy
sar
e"
Pret
ty:
"Lubanzi
toowaswor
ri
edIgav
ehi
myour
numbers"
Me:
"Noway
sPr
eewhydi
dyoudot
hat
!"
Pr
ett
y:"
I'
m sor
rybutt
heguyl
ovey
ouTee"
Me:"
Idon'
tl
ovehi
m hei
saner
dandhei
sugl
y"
shel
aughed
Pr
ett
y:"
Hei
snott
hatugl
y"
Me:
"Hei
sbey
ondugl
y"
Pr
ett
y:"
Comeongi
vehi
m achance"
Me:"
Yazusil
ewenay ouwantmet odat
eanugl y
guywhi
leyouhav eahott
ie.HowcanIkissan
ugl
ypersonli
kethatI
'dprobabl
yhavet
ocl ose
myeyesfir
standimagineTreySongzt
henki ss
hi
m"Shecackled
Pr
ett
y:"
That
'snotabadt
hing"
Me:
"Wuuhnoway
sPr
ee"
Pr
ett
y:"
Igi
veupIguesst
heguyl
ose"
Me:
"I
mpel
anj
e"
Pr
ett
y:"
Getwel
lnanaI
'
m outofai
rnow"
Me:
"Asi
fyouev
erhav
eenough"
Pr
ett
y:"
Fucky
ou"Il
aughed
Me:
"Goodby
e"Shehungup.
Idraggedmy sel
fupandwenttothebathroom.I
ri
nsedmyf acethenwenttot
heloungewher eI
foundSisYolacuddl
ingLami
.Isatnexttoher
Si
sYol
a:"
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngnow"
Me:
"Li
tt
lebet
ter
..
.canIhol
dhi
m"
Si
sYol
a:"
Nof
luei
scont
agi
ous"
Me:
"ComeonSi
sYol
a"
Si
sYol
a:"
Nosweet
hear
t"
Me:
"Thati
sunf
air
"
Si
sYol
a:"
Getbet
terf
ir
st"
Herphoner
ang"
Yes.
..
what
..
.omg.
.I
'
m comi
ng"
Shehungup
Me:"Whati
sgoingon"IaskedassoonasIsaw
hereyeswater
ing.
SisYol
a:"
My5y earol
ddaught
erhavebeenhit
byacarIneedtogoThandobutyoursi
steri
s
notarr
ivi
ngshewassupposetobehereanhour
ago"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryI
'
m sur
eshei
sonherwayy
oucan
goi
t'
sfine"
Si
sYol
a:"
Okay
"Shegav
emeLami
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryabouty
ourdaught
er"
Si
sYol
a:"
Thanky
ou"shebi
dfar
ewel
landl
eft
.
Istoodupwi thLami i
nmyar msandwentt o
takeatubofy oghur
tandaspooninthekithen
thencameback.IsatdownandmadeLami li
e
onmychestt hendugin.Hourswentbysisstil
l
hasn'tr
eturnedhome.Iwasget t
ingworr
ied
nowIcal l
edsi sToya
Si
sToy
a:"
Babygi
rl
"
Me:
"Heysi
sToy
ahowar
eyou"
Si
sToy
a:"
I'
m goodsi
syou"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine.
..I
ssi
sKatwi
thy
ou"
Si
sToy
a:"
NoIwasof
ftodayIdi
dn'
tseeher
"
Me:
"Ohshehav
en'
tret
urnedhomef
rom wor
k"
SisToy
a:"
That
'sstr
angeshewassupposet
obe
ther
e3hoursago.Didy
oucall
her
?"
Me:
"Yesherphonei
sof
f"
SisToy
a:"
That
'swei
rdIwi
l
lkeept
ryi
ngt
ocal
l
her"
Me:"Okay
"Ihungupandt ossedmyphoneon
thesofathent ri
edtocalm downLami whoj
ust
start
edcrying.Timewasar ound8o'cl
ocknow
sisusual
l
ycomeat5pm.Ipacedupanddown
withLami whocouldn'tst
opcr y
ing.Myhead
wasbuzzingIcoul dn'
thel pbutcry.It
ookmy
phoneandcal ledbuti
PK
But
iPK:
"Chi
cken"
Me:
"But
i"Icr
ied
But
i PK:
"Whati
sgoi
ngonchi
ckenwhyar
eyou
cr
ying"
Me:"Si
sKathaven'
tret
urnedf
rom wor
kbuti
and
Lami i
scry
ingIdon'
tknowwhattodoI'
m al
one"
Isobbed
ButiPK:
"Whatdoyoumeanshehaven'
t
ret
urnedhomeit
scloset
o9o'cl
ocknow
Thando"
Me:
"Whati
fsomet
hingbadhappenedt
oher
"
But
iPK:
"St
aycal
mI'
m comi
ngr
ightnowj
ust
gi
vemefewhours"
Me: "
Okay"Ihungup" ThulaphelaLami hawu!"
(stopcry
ingLami hawu!)" OkayI'
m sorrybut
pleasestop.cryi
ng"It r
iedtochangehi sdiaper
butitwasdr y.Godwhati shappeni ngwher eis
sisKat.Whati fPhuml adidsomet hingt
oheroh
noonotSi sKatt ooIcan'tbeleftaloneinthis
wor l
d.Aft
ersomet i
meLami fal
lasleepIwentt o
puthim onmybedandcri
edmylungsout
.
Around1am Buti
PKcall
edandsai
dheisatthe
door.Iwentt
oopenthedoorf
orhi
m andthr
ew
my sel
finhi
sarms
Buti
PK:
"I
m her
enowdon'
tcr
y"Hest
rokedmy
back
Me:"i
t'
syoursi
stershedi
dsomet
hingt
oher
.
Fir
stitwasMamanowi t
sSi
sKatshei
sgoi
ng
topayIpromisyou"
Hepul
l
edmebackandl
ookedatme
But
iPK:
"Yourmom?
"
Isai
dnothingremember
ingt
hatsi
sKatsai
dI
mustnottell
anyone
"
Thando"
Me"Iknowt
haty
oursi
sterdoesn'
tl
ikemy
si
ster
"
But
iPK:
"Butshewi
l
lnev
erhar
m her
"
Me:
"Shesentasnakebut
ithatwomani
s
capabl
eofany
thi
ng!
"
But
iPK:
"Ssshdon'
tcr
ywewi
l
lfi
ndKat
"
Me:"
Youbett
ercozIswearIwon'
tfor
giv
eyou
but
iyoushoul
dhaveprot
ectedher
"
Thewholeni
ghthewasmakingcal
lsIendedup
fal
l
ingasl
eep.Thenextmor
ningIwaswoken
upbySisToya
Si
sToy
a:"
Hey
"Herey
eswer
eredandpuf
fy
Me:
"Si
sKati
sback"
Si
sToy
a:"
NoPKwentt
orepor
thermi
ssi
ng"
Me:
"Ohno"Ist
art
edcr
ying
Si
sToy
a:"
I'
m sor
rypl
easedon'
tcr
y"
Me:"
Whati
fshei
sdeadohmygoodness"I
cr
ied
SisToya:
"Youneedt
obeposi
ti
venowandy
ou
havetogotoschool"
Me:
"I
'm notgoi
ngt
oschool
whenmysi
steri
s
mi
ssi
ng"
Si
sToy
a:"
But
..
."
Me:
"Ther
e'snobut"
3day
spassedst
il
lmysi
sterhav
en'
tbeenf
ound.
ThepolicearenotdoingtheirworkI mlosingmy
mindev er
ypassingsecond.Icoul dn'
tgot o
schoolwhenmysi steri
smi ssing.It
'sl
ikeLami
couldsensesomet hi
ngiswr onghei sforever
cryi
ng.ButiPKandBut iTbosear esearchingf
or
hersofartheyhaven'tf
oundher .
Toy
a:"
Youneedt
oeatThando"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
ButiPK:
"Starvi
ngy oursel
fwon'thel
pchicken"
Hisphoner ang"Yes...
what.
."Hisphonesli
pped
outofhishandandf all
downt ear
sgli
stenedin
hi
sey es
Tbose:
"Whati
sgoi
ngonman"
But
iPK:"Thepoli
cefoundabodythatmat
ched
Kat
'sdescri
pti
on..
."Icuthi
m of
f
Me:"Bo..
bobodywhataboutt hehead? "Theyal l
l
ookedatmel i
keI'm crazy,SisToy aburstint
o
asob" Nononoshei snotdeadr i
ght"Ishook
myheadv i
gorouslymykneesweakenedIgot
upandwentt oPK" Thi
si sallyourfaul
t!Ihate
you!Ihateyou!Youki l
ledmysi ster
!Hadshe
notgotinvol
vedher sel
fwi t
hy oushewoul d
havebeenal i
ve!
!"Isaidpunchinghi m overand
overunti
lmykneesf ailedmeIcr umbledont he
fl
oor.Howcanshedot histome?Shecan' t
l
eaveme.HowcanIl ivewithouther?Howcan
sheleavemewi t
hani nfantOhGodwhy ?Why !

[
06/
01,
08:
08]W:
33
PHAKAMANI
•
"
It
sokaymany
oucandoi
t"sai
dTbose
Tearswerebli
ndingmemykneeswer e
wobbli
ngIm notready,Idon'
tthi
nkIwil
lev
er
bereadyt
oidentifymywoman' sbody
.What
wouldIbewithouther?
Me:
"Nomanshecan'tl
eavemeshecan'
t"I
wi
pedmytear
sbuttheycoul
dn'
tst
opfal
ling
Tbose:
"Comeyouneedtobestrongbra"He
hel
dmeasweappr oachedthebedwher eshe
waslyi
ngcover
edwithablackplast
ic.
Me:
"Ican'
t!
"Idr
oppedont
hef
loor
Tbose:"
QinaPKqinandoda"(bestrongPKbe
str
ongman)Hepi ckedmeupandwal kedwi t
h
me.Finall
ywegott othebedIslowlyremov ed
thepl
asticwi
thmyshaki nghandsey esclosed.
"Openyoureyes"Ibreat
hedoutloudlyand
openedmyey es.
Myheartt
huddedhar
derthenbefore.Oh
pl
easeLor
dleti
tbenotherpl
ease.Iopenedmy
ey
estheyweremetbyanunfamil
iarfaceofa
gi
rl
.
Me:"Thanky ouLord!"Iscreamedexcitedl
yI
knowi t
'scruelbutIwashappy .Tbosepatmy
shoulderandgav eitalightsqueeze
Tbose:"
Thismeansshei sst
il
loutthereali
ve.
Wewi l
lfi
ndher .Nowwipethosetears"I
chuckl
edandwi pedmytear
s.Wei nformed
them t
hatit'
snotherthenweleftsearchi
ngfor
hereverywhere.
"
Lookbr
aIdon'twanttoseem l
ikeI
'm accusi
ng
y
oursi
sterbutshedi
dsomethingtoher"
Me:
"Mysi
steri
snotamur
der
er!
"
Tbose:
"Wakeupandsmel l
thecoffeefi
rstshe
boughtherthenthesnakenowthis!Don'tmake
memadbr ayoursist
eri
sdangerous!"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean?
"
Tbose:
"Nex
"
Me:
"I
fyoudon'
ttel
lmewhaty
ouknowhowwi
l
l
wef
indKat!
"
Tbose:
"Justgoandconf
ronther
!sheknows
whereKati
s"Wedr
ovet
omysi
ster
'spl
acei
n
sandt
on.
Ipr
essedt
hei
nter
com
"
Hel
l
o"
Me:
"Heyi
tsmeopenup"
Phuml
a:"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
ego!
"
Me:
"Wher
e'sKatPhuml
a!"
Phumla:
"Whyareyouaskingmey ousai
dImust
stayawayfr
om yourbi
tch!Leav
ePhakamani
cozyouletahoecomebet weenus.
"
Me:"
IswearPhumlaifIf
oundouty
ouar
e
behi
ndthi
sIwill
kil
lyou!
"
Phumla:"Wowy ouar
ethreat
eni
ngy
oursi
ster
thatgi
rlbewi
tchedyou!
!"
Me:
"Nxl
et'
sgoTbose"Wedr
oveof
f
Tbose:
"Sheknowsomet
hingI
'
mtel
l
ingy
oubr
a"
Me:
"Shutt
hef
uckup!
"
Tbose:"
VoetsekIknowyouar
efr
ust
rat
eddon'
t
takeyourf
rustr
ati
onsonme!"
Me:
"Whaty
ougonnadohuh?
"
Tbose:
"I
'm war
ningy
ouPK"
Me:"I
'm notscar
edofyouTbose!"Hel
etgoof
thesteeri
ngwheelandpunchmeIpunchedhi
m
back.Beforeweknewitthecarwasspi
ral
i
ng
outofcontrol
.
•
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
Ihear
dmyphoner ingi
ngIgroanedand
answeredwi
thoutchecki
ng
Me:
"What
!"
"Heyheythatnowaytospeaktoy oursi
ster
openthedoor!!
"Yel
ledmysist
eront heother
sideoft
helineIdon'
tknowwhichiswhi ch
betweenthetwobecauseeventheirvoi
cesare
t
hesame.I
treal
lyhar
dtodi
ffer
ent
iat
ethem
wheny
oudon'tknowthem.
Idraggedmy selfupfrom thebedIhada
ter
ribl
ehangov er.Iputonmypushi nsthen
shuffl
edtothedoor .Iopenedthedoorshe
pushedmeandwal kedinthatmysist
erfory
ou.
Me:"
Youshoul
dwai
tformet
osaycomei
nfi
rst
si
s"
Kuhle:
"GodInawhenthel
astdidyoucleanher
e"
Shef r
owned"Andyousmelll
i
keshebeen!"I
cl
osedt hedoorandwal
kedtothefr
idgeItook
bott
ledwater
Me:"I
m sureyoudi
dn'tdri
vefrom Pret
ori
ato
shoutatmeSqalokuhle"Iopenedthebott
leand
drankwater
Kuhle:
"Whati
shappeningtoyouwehavebeen
tryi
ngtocont
acty
ouf ordaysbutwecoul
dn'
t
reachyou"
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me"Iwentt
othe
l
oungewithherf
oll
owingme.Wewer eatmy
apar
tmentbytheway.Isatdownasshedi
dso.
Kuhle:
"Yazyouareself
ishyouknowmom i s
st
illr
ecoveri
ngshedoesn'tneedtobest
ressing
overyou.Ihadtocomeandseei fyouar
est i
ll
al
ive.Hereyouarebreathi
ngwithnoworr
ies!
"
Me:
"Don'
tyel
latmeI'
m noty
ourchi
l
dgoy
ell
t
hatbl
ackcatofyour
s!"
Kuhl
e:"
Whatwi
thy
ou!
!"
Me:
"Tel
lmom I
'
mfi
nenowy
oucango"
Kuhl
e:"
Youar
echasi
ngmeout
?"
Isi
ghedheav
il
y
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"Isai
dsof
tl
y
Kuhl
e:"
Whatisbother
ingyoubr
othelastt
ime
youwereli
kethi
sitwaswhenthatThabsi
l
e
chi
ckbrokeyourhear
t."
Me:
"Wel
lyeahi
tsaboutagi
rl
"
Kuhl
e:"
Whatdi
dshedonof
orgett
hatwher
e
doesshestayandwhati
shernameIwi
l
lgo
dealwi
thherri
ghtnow!
"
Ichuckl
edt
rusthert
obeal
way
sdr
amat
ic.
Me:"
Act
ual
l
yit
smet
hist
imear
oundImessed
upsi
s"
Kuhl
e:"
Youcheat
ed?Iwi
shshenev
erf
orgi
ves
you"
Godt
hisgi
rl
!
Me:
"NoIdi
dn'
tcheat
.It
sKonke"shel
ookedat
mewideey
edopen
Kuhl
e:"
Twi
nni
e'
sst
epdaught
er?
"
Me:
"Yes"
Kuhl
e:"
Wowsowhatdi
dyoudo?
"
Me:
"Your
ememberhernudest
hatwentv
iral
"
Kuhl
e:"
Yes"
Me:"Shesawthem i
nmyphoneIknowI
shouldn'
thav
ekeptthem"
Kuhl
e:"
Tjoandshei
sangr
yIm sur
e"
Me:"
Sheendedourr el
ationshi
psisshethinkI
wanttouseherthatisnottrueIl
oveherInev er
meanttohur
ther.Thosepi csarebeaut
ifulsi
s
t
heyareoutofthisworld"
Kuhle:
"Godyoualwaysfi
ndbeaut
if
ulwher
e
ther
e'sai
ntespeci
all
yinpi
ctur
esl
ooknow"
Me:"
YouknownothingaboutAr
tsi
ssoy
ou
won'
tunder
stand"
Kuhl
e:"
Inat
hosepicswer
enotsupposet
obe
seenbyanyone.
"
Me:"IknowItri
edtoapologisebutsheisnot
answeringmycall
snorl etmet al
ktoher.Ilove
herIcan'tl
oseher.Shemakemef eelcompl et
e
IswearIhaveneverloveagi r
lli
keIdo.Ev er
si
nceImetherI '
m ahappyguy "
Kuhle:
"OhbroI'
m sor
rydon'
tcr
y"Ididn'
teven
not
iceIwascryingIwipedmytear
sdamnIhat e
whatthisgi
rli
sdoingtomeInevercryforagi
rl
.
YesThabsi l
ebrokemeandIl ov
edhersomuch
butInevercri
edforher"
Comeher e"Ibur
ied
myselfonherbreast"Gi
vehersomespaceshe
wil
lcomear ound"
Me:"That
'si
mpossi
bleI
'm suf
focati
ngwithout
herIcan'
tspendmoredayswithouthersi
s"
Kuhle:
"Thenbeanui
sance,cal
lherev
eryday
,
senthergif
ts,
showupatherhome,unti
lshe
for
givesyou"
Me:
"Shehavetof
orgi
veme"Ipul
l
edbackand
wi
pedmyt ear
sonceagai
n.
Kuhle:"
Sheisweakli
ngy ounow"Ichuckl
ed"
Arey ousureshei
stheoney ouwantImean
sheisoldertheny
ouI na"Il
ookedatherwit
ha
rai
sedbr ow
Me:"
Wer en'
tyout
heonewhowasroot
ingSi
hle
andthatoldman'
srel
ati
onshi
p"
Kuhl
e:"
It
'snott
hesameI na.Konkehashi
stor
y
wit
hSihleandBuhl
ebenkosi.Youremember
howmom waswhenSi hl
ewashear t
broken.
Shewantedtokill
Zol
anihersel
f.Doyouthink
thefami
lywil
lli
keher
.Buhlebenkosil
osther
fi
ancébecauseofKonke.Yourrel
ati
onshipis
j
usttoocomplicat
ed"
Me:"
Noonei sperf
ectokayandKonkedidnt
knowaboutbothZolaniandThul
ainfactshe
didt
hem afavournowtheyknowZolaniand
Thul
aarebadf ort
hem"
Kuhle:
"Bepreparefordi
sappr
ovalandy
ousaw
howdi dtheytookSihl
e'
srel
ati
onshi
pwith
Vincent"
Me:"
MinaIdon'
tcarei
ftheydisownmeIlove
KonkeandIwanttospendtherestofmyl
if
e
wit
hher"
Kuhl
e:"
Youdon'
tmeant
hatbr
o"
Me:
"Oht
rustmeIdo"
Shebr
eat
hedoutl
oudl
y
Kuhl
e:"
Nowgetupandl
etcl
ean"
Me:
"Nosi
scomeonIhav
ehangov
er"
Kuhl
e:"
Youcan'
tst
ayonthi
sfi
l
thgetup"she
sai
dstandi
ngupandpul
l
edmyhand
Me:"
Whydon'tyougovisi
tyourboyf
ri
endand
gi
vethepoorguythecooki
esisonoesi
"she
l
aughed
Kuhl
e:"
Trusty
out
othi
nkev
ery
thi
ngi
sabout
sex"
Me:"Ofcour
seitsnotaboutsexbutsexi
spar
t
oftherel
ati
onshi
p.Youwilll
osetheguyI
'm
tel
l
ingyou"
Kuhl
e:"Someguy
sar
epat
ientunl
i
key
ouMr
i
mpatient"
Me:"That '
sathi
ngwithyougirl
sjustbecauseI
understanddoesntmeanIdon'twantt ofuck
you.OnceaguysayIwi l
lwaitf
ory oubabynina
khulul
ekakakhuluumuntuni mbulal
engendlel
a
i
zeigobei nduku.Gi
vetheguythecookieits
beenay earandmonthssinceyout woare
t
oget
her
"shel
aughed
Kuhl
e:"
Whatki
ndofabr
otherar
eyou?
"
Me:"
Theonewhodoesn' twanthissist
ertolose
agoodguy .Vel
ewhatareyouwai t
ingforyou
wer
et ur
ning24y ear
sngoMay "
Kuhl
e:"
I'
m wai
tingf
orJesust
ocomebacknow
come"Shedraggedmetotheki
tchenIgr
oaned.
•
NARRATED
•
Thedoctorgazedatthi
sunknownpat i
entwho
havebeenadmi t
teddaysback.Nooneknow
herinf
ormationt
heyhavebeent r
yingt
oget
holdofherfamil
ybutthathaven'
tbeen
successf
ul.
Shewasbr ui
sedbadlyt
hatshehaven'
tgai
n
backherconsci
ous.Thr
oughherswoll
en
brui
sedfacehesawhowbeautif
ulsheis.
Hi
m:"
YouneedtowakeupI'
m sur
eyourf
ami
l
y
i
sworr
iedsi
ckabouty
ou"
"Honeytheyt
oldmey ouarehere"Thatwashis
wifesheswayedherhipswal
kingtowardsthe
doctorandki
ssedhi
m
"
It
syourl
unchnowIcamet
otakey
ouout
"
Hi
m:"
OkayWi
fey
"Hesai
dst
ari
ngt
hepat
ient
Her
:"
Ist
hist
heunknownpat
ient
?"
Him:"
YesI '
mveryworri
edaboutherI'
m sur
eher
famil
yislooki
ngforher
"Thewifelookedatthe
pati
entandsmi l
ed
Her
:"
Babet
hisi
sabl
essi
ng!
"
Hi
m:"
Whatdoy
oumean"
Her:
"Sheistheonl
ywayt
ogett
heRussi
ansof
f
ourbacks"
Hi
m:"
NononoBel
i
ndawecan'
tdot
hat
"
Her:
"Doyouhaveabett
erplan?I
t'
sbet
tershei
s
unknown.
..
"Thedoccutheroff
Hi
m:"Iwi
l
lfi
ndor
gansf
ort
her
ussi
ansbutnot
ont
hisgi
rl
."
Her:
"Wedon'
thav
etimeLeet
o!TheRussi
ans
ar
efoll
owi
ngusever
ywher
ewegoourchildr
en
ar
enotsaf
e!"
Him:"
Iknowthatokaydon'
tyel
latmeIwill
makeapl an!
!"Justt
hent
hedoctor
'sphone
beeped.
Heslidhi
shandonhi swhitecoat'
spocketand
tookouthisphone.Heviewedthepictur
eofhis
chil
drent
iedonchairs:
IBETTHI SWI LLGIVE
YOUMOTI VATI
ON Thedoct orpanicked
Hi
m:"
Ohshi
t!
"
Her
:"
What
??"
Hegav
ehert
hephone
Her:
"Ohnooyouhavet
odosomethi
ngLeeto"
Shecri
ed"Youhav
etosav
eourchil
dren"
Thedoct
orshookhisheadi
nfrust
rat
ionand
l
ookedatthepat
ient
.Hefel
tsorr
yforherbut
hi
schi
l
dren'
sli
fedependedonher
[
06/
01,
08:
09]W:
34
PHAKAMANI
•
Hegraspedthesteer
ingwheelandswayedt
he
cari
ntoarightdi
rect
ion,
scr
eechingsoundf
il
led
myears.
"Whatt
hefucky
ouseey
oual
mostki
l
ledus!
!"
Yel
ledTbose
Me:
"Youar
etheonewhost
art
edhi
tt
ingme!
"
Tbose:
"Fuckof
fman!
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryokayweshoul
dn'
tbef
ight
ing"
Tbose:"
Youneedtocont
rolyourf
rust
rat
ions
minaIwon'tl
ookatyoushoutatmeasifI'm
yourchi
ld!
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Tbose:
"Wher
etof
rom her
e?"
Me:
"Wehav
elookedev
ery
wher
e"
Tbose:
"Noti
nmor
tuar
ies"
Me:"
NonoIcan'tdealwi
thmor
tuar
iesbr
alet
's
st
arti
nhospi
tal
sfirst
"
Tbose:
"Okay
"Her
est
art
edt
hecart
hendr
ove
off
.
Myphoner angi
twasdadIanswer
edi
n
hesi
tat
ion
Me:
"Dad"
Dad:
"Whathav
eyoudonet
oyoursi
ster
!"
Iknewi
tshewi
l
lcr
ytodaddy
.She'
sadaddy
's
gir
l.
Me:
"Not
hing"
Dad:"
don'
ttel
lmenot
hingPhakamanishe
cal
ledmecr y
ingy
outhreat
enedt
okil
lher
"
Me:
"Phuml
aismeddl
i
ngi
nmyl
ovel
i
fef
ather
!"
Dad:
"Shehavet
owhenyouaremakinga
mist
ake!Youwantt
ocausebadbl
oodbetween
myf
ri
endandI
!!
"
Me:"Ohpleasedady ouandIknowthatal
lyou
careaboutismoney .Youar
eafrai
dthathewil
l
takeal
lthebusinesses!"
Dad:
"Don'tyoudarerai
seyourvoiceatme!
Leavethatgir
l.Shegotachil
dforcryi
ngout
l
oudy ouwantt orai
seanotherman'schi
l
dwhil
e
youcanmakey ourownwithsomeonewholove
you!
"
Me:"
Whydon'ty
out
akeherasy
oursecondwi
fe
cozcl
ear
lyy
ouwanther
"
Dad:"
HeyheyboyIwi l
lki
llyoumi ndhowy ou
speaktome!Youf or
getthaty ouarel
iv
inga
l
avishli
febecauseofherfather!
!"
Me:"Becauseyounev ert
ri
edenoughtobey our
ownmany ouwant edtodependonanot
her
man!"IhungupIj ustknewmom wil
lbecalli
ng
aft
erthat.AsIthoughtmyphonerangIignored
her.
"
Hel
l
omi
ss"Isai
dtot
her
ecept
ioni
st
Rec:
"Hi
howcanIhel
pyou"
Me:"
Wear elooki
ngf
orKhethokuhleMhl
ongo
shedisappeared3daysbacksowewer e
wonderingifmaybesheisnothere"
Rec:"
Ithi
nky ouarethepersonwehav ebeen
l
ookingfor.There'
sagirlwhowasadmi tt
ed
daysbackshei sinj
uredbadlyandsheissti
l
l
unconsci
oussowehav en'tbeenabl
etogether
personal
detail
s"
Myhear
tski
ppedabeat
Tbose:
"Canweseeher
"
Rec:
"Iwil
gocall
..
.ohher
ei sherdoct
or.Dr
Motl
hatswipl
easecomet hissi
de"Wet ur
ned
andl
ookedatthedoctor
Dr
:"
Greet
ings"
Us:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Rec:
"Theywantt
oseet
heunknowngi
rl
"
Dr
:"
Arey
ouherf
ami
l
y?"
Me:"Yesifit
'sher
.CanIshowyouapictureof
her"Itookmyphoneandscr ol
ledt
oKat '
spics
thenshowedhi m.Hisf
acechangedal
thoughI
couldn'
treadit
Dr
:"
Um y
esshel
ookl
i
keher
"
Tbose:"
Pleaseshowus"Heledust other
oom
wherewewer ewel comedbypeepingmachi
ne.
Myey eswateredwhenIgotacloserl
ookather
.
Inear
lycouldn'
trecogni
zedher
.
Me:
"Whathappenedt
oher
?"
Dr:
"Shewasbeat
enup.Heri
njur
iesar
ever
y
bad"
Me:
"Shewi
l
lbeokayt
hough"
Dr
:"
Shehavetoal
thoughsheshoul
dhav
e
wokenupbynow"
Tbose:
"Kat
..
.canshehearus"
Dr
:"
Yesmay
beshewi
l
lwakeupi
fsheheara
f
ami
l
iarv
oice.Tal
ktohersaysomet
hing"
Me:
"Thanky
ouDoc"
Dr
:"
Whati
shername?
"
Me:
"Khet
hokuhl
eMhl
ongo"
Dr:
"Bef
oreyougoIwi
l
lneedy
ouguy
stof
il
lher
per
sonaldetai
l
s"
Me:
"Nopr
obl
em"
Dr
:"
Iwil
ll
eavey
out
oit
"Hef
akedasmi
l
eand
wal
kedout
Iwipedmyteart
hathadescapedi
nmyr
ight
eyeandhel
dherhand.
Tbose:
"I
sItmeort
hedocseem of
fi
sh"
Me:"
IthoughtI
'
mimagi
ningt
hings.
..
baby
"I
ki
ssedherhand

•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Icoul
dhearhisvoiceandhi
swarm hol
donmy
handbutIcoul
dn'topenmyeyes.
It
ri
edoncemoret
imebutI
twasdi
ff
icul
tthey
weret
ooheav
y.
"
Babycomebackt
ouspl
ease"
"LamiandThandoar
ecr
yingt
heymi
ssy
ou
pleasest
handwasamiwakeup"
"
Lat
oyat
oomi
ssy
oudawg"ThatwasTbose
Ichuckl
edi
nwar
dly
.
"PleasemyKitKatImi
ssy
ouI'
ml osingmymind
herewi t
houty
oukhawbuyet
org"(comeback
please)
Ineededt
otryhar
derIopenedmyeyesbutt
he
l
eftonecoul
dntopen.PKstoodupandwal
ked
cl
osertome
PK:
"Babe!Youar
eawakeThanksGod!
"
Tbose:
"Iwi
l
lgocal
lthedoct
or"
Me:
"Wa.
.wa.
.wat
erpl
ease"
Hewenttogetwaterf
ormeandhel
pedmesi
t
st
rai
ghtf
ir
stbefor
ehelpi
ngmetodr
inkwi
tha
st
raw.
Tbose:
"OhmyKi
tKatIwaswor
ri
edsi
ckabout
you"
Isi
gnal
edhi
mthatI
'
mfi
ne.
Me:
"Whycan'
tIopenmyl
eftey
e"
Tbose:
"I
tsbr
uisedandswol
l
enbabyI'mr eal
l
y
sor
rywhodidthist
oyou?whathappened?"
Thedoct
orandTbosewal
kedi
n
Doc:
"Mypat
ienty
ouar
eawake?
"
Me:
"Uhm y
esdoct
or"
Doc:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:
"Myf
acei
sbur
ningdoc"
Doc:
"Iwi
ll
sentt
henurset
ogiveyousomething
fort
hepai
n.Doyourememberwhathappened"
Ir
ecal
l
edt
heev
ent
soft
hatday
Me:
"Yeshowl
onghav
eIbeenher
e"
Doc:
"3day
sand1ni
ght
..
whathappened"
Me: "
Iwaswaiti
ngf oratr
anspor
ttotakeme
homeacarpulledup.Twoguy scameoutand
draggedmeinside.Theydrov
ewithmet ot
his
i
solatedar
eaandbeatt hehel
loutofme"I
sobbed
PK:
"Fuck!
"
Doc:
"Canyourecogni
set
hem weneedt
orepor
t
t
hist
ot hepol
i
ce"
Me:
"I
'm notsur
edocev
ery
thi
ngwashappeni
ng
i
nsuchahur r
y"
Doc:"
I'
mreal
l
ysorryMissMhl
ongo"Hepatmy
shoul
der"
Doy ouneedany
thi
ngel
se"
Me:
"Yesami
rr
orIwantt
oseehowdamagedI
am"
PK:
"Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
'sagoodi
deababy
"
Me:
"ComeonPK"
Doc:
"Thenur
sewi
l
lbr
ingi
t"Het
henwal
kedout
PK:"I
'mreal
lysorrybabyIwonderwhoar
ethose
fucker
s!"Hekissedmyf or
ehead
Tbose:
"Youknowy
oursi
stersentt
hem"
Exactl
ywhatIt
houghtnoonehat
emeexcept
her.
Ohshewenttoofart
hist
ime.Letmej
ust
r
ecovert
henIwil
lshowherwhoam I.
PK:"
Wedon'thaveproofit
'sherwehavet
ofind
them f
ir
standtheywil
ltel
luswhohiredt
hem"
Tbose:"Ohpleaseit'
shershei
stheonlyone
whohat eKatIdon'tknowwhyarey ousobli
nd
toseet hi
s.Openy ourdamneyesthatwomanis
cruelshewilldoanythi
ngtogetr
idofKat.Why
areyousost upid!
"
PK:"
Don'
tyoufucki
ngdaretal
kshi
t!Whatdo
youwantmet odohuh?Killmysi
sterwhenI
don'
tknowit
'sreal
lyherwhodidt
his!"
Tbose:
"Whatmor eproofdoyouneedhuh?You
suchaweaklingguy !Katdoesn'tdeserveyou
cozyoudon'tknowhowt oprotecther.Itwas
wrongofmet ogi veyouachanceIt houghtyou
areari
ghtguyf orherbutit
sclearIwas
wrong!
!"PK mar chedtoTboseandpr essed
hi
m againstt
hewal l
Me:
"Guy
sst
opi
t!
"
PK:"Whoar ey
ouhuh?HerFather
?don'tfucki
ng
dareshitonmeboy!Iknowhowt oprot
ecther
staythefuckawayf
rom ourr
elat
ionshi
p!"
Tbose:
"Shei
smyf ucki
ngsist
erIwon'
tstay
awayespeci
all
ywhenit'
scomestoher
prot
ect
ionandherwellbei
ngsorr
ybuti
!
"
Me:"
Willy
outwojuststopit
!Iwasbeatenupto
apulpyouarebusyf
ighti
nginst
eadoffindi
ng
t
hoseguy sar
rghmaan!!"PKletgoofTbose
whofix
edhimself
Tbose:
"I
'm outofher
e!"
Me:
"Tbosedon'
tgopl
ease"
Tbose:
"Ican'
tst
andhi
m..
."
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Hesi
ghed
"
BabycanIt
alkt
oTbose"
PK:
"Al
one?
"
Me:
"Yes"Hegav
eTboseadeadst
areand
wal
kedout."
Comeher
e"Ipat
tedt
heli
tt
lespace
ont
hebed.
Hewal kedtowardsandsatdownf acingme.
"Youneedt ounderst
andthatPhumlai shi
s
sist
erwhom hel ovedear
lyit
'snoteasyto
acceptthatshedidthi
s.Heisindenial"
Tbose:"
Wel lheneedt otoughenupanddeal
withasituati
onathand.Idon' twantanyt
hingto
happentoy ouKat .Youhavebecomeasi st
erI
neverhady oursafetycomesf ir
sttome.I
thoughtIlostyouKatwhent heyt ol
dust hey
foundabodyt hatmat chedyourdescript
ionI
wa..wassoscar ed..
."Hepausedandl ooked
theroofIsawtear
srunni
ngsi
deways.Ipul
led
himt omyarmsandsqueezedhi
m"Ihadt obe
strongforPKbutdeepi
nsi
deIwasdyingwith
fear"
Me:"I
'm sorryyouwentt hroughthatIcan
i
magi nethef ear
..
I'
m her enowdon'tcry"He
cri
edwi ggli
nghisshoul ders"I
'
m sorrydawg"I
str
okedhi sbackuntilhecal meddown.He
pull
edbackandchuckl ed
Tbose:
"Lookatmecr
yingl
i
keal
i
ttl
esl
ut"I
chuckl
ed
Me:"
It'
snotwrongtocr
ywheny oufeelpai
n.We
needtouseourtear
sasthepunctuat
ionforour
hear
tache"
Tbose:
"Iguessyouar
eright
"Hewi
pedhi
stear
s
"I
'
m soglady ouar
eal
ive"
Me:"
Thanky
ouweneedt
osor
tthatbi
tch
Tbose.
"
Tbose:
"Whatdoy
ouhav
einmi
nd?
"
Me:
"Letmer
ecov
erf
ir
st"Ismi
rked
Tbose:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hatsmil
eofyour
sletme
dealwi
thheryoudon'
tneedtogety
ourhands
di
rty
"
Me:"
Ineedtodothi
sonmyownformymot
her
..
di
dyoufindoutwhatdi
dshedot
oher
?"
Tbose:
"Noi
t'
sst
il
luncl
ear
"
Me:
"Don'
tst
ressshewi
l
ltel
lusher
sel
f"
Tbose:
"Yi
zo"webumpedf
ist
s.
Me:"
Youcangocallhi
m now"Hestoodupand
wenttocal
lPK.Af
terminut
estheywal
kedi
n
Tbose:
"I
'm sor
rymanf
ormyout
bur
st"
PK:
"I
t'
scoolbra"Theyshookhandsandpul
l
ed
oneanot
herint
oahug.
Me:
"Thatar
emyboy
s"
Theyl
aughedj
ustt
hent
henur
sewal
kedi
n.
Nur
se:
"Mi
ssMhl
ongohowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
mfi
nenur
se"
Nurse:"I
'm gladyourf amilyfindy ouwewer e
wor r
iedabouty ou"Ismi ledshegav eme
capsules. Idownt hem anddr ankwat er.
"Here'sthemi rr
or"Itooki tandl ookedat
my selfIcouldn'
tevenr ecogni zedmy selfbutI
didn'
tcr y,
mysi ghtant agonizedmef urt
her.
Phuml ahav etopay !
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Nur
se:
"Youar
esobr
ave"
Me:"
Itr
y"shesmil
edwar
mly"
Whobr
oughtme
her
eifImayask?"
Nur
se:
"Somemancal
l
edMrXaba"
Me:"Wi
lly
oupleasegetholdofhi
m andt
ell
him
I
'm awakeIneedtothankhim"
Nur
se:
"Okay
"
Me:"
Thanky
ou"ShemadeherwayoutPK
scr
eamedaft
erher
PK:
"Canmybabyhav
esomet
hingt
oeatpl
ease"
Nur
se:
"Comi
ngr
ightup"
Me:
"Howar
emyki
ds"
PK:
"Theyhavebeencry
ingev
ersinceyou
di
sappeared,
Thandoi
snotgoingtoschool
anymore"Hesai
dsit
ti
ngdownnexttome.
Me:
"Ohmancany
oul
endmey
ourphone"
Hetookouthi
sphoneandgav
eme.Ical
led
Thandosheanswer
edonthet
hir
dri
ng.
Thando:
"Hel
l
o"Herv
oicewashoar
se
Me:
"Sl
aybabe"
Thando:"
Ithoughtheav
endon'
thav
e
cel
lphones"Il
aughedshecanbedramat
ic
sometimes
Me:"Thi
ngschangesweetyt
hisoneIm cal
l
ing
youwithit
sanIPhone.I
t'
sgotendl
essdataand
air
ti
me"
Thando:
"Ohmygooooooood"shescr
eamedI
hadtoremovethephoneonmyearunt
ilshe
stopped"
Sisi
sthatreal
l
yyou?
"
Me:
"Yesbaby
"
Thando:
"Whereareyou?Whathappened?When
areyoucomingtous?"
Me:"Slowdownsl
aybabe.Iwil
ltel
lyoual
lof
thattomorr
ow.PKwil
ldri
veyouhereI'
minthe
hospital
"
Thando:
"Iwantt
oseey
ounowsi
sKat
"
Me:"
It
'sl
atenowbabyv
isi
ti
nghourscouldbe
ov
eranyti
mesoonyouwil
lcometomorrowvha"
Thando:
"OkayImi
ssy
ousomuch"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
out
oo.
.wher
e'sLami
?"
Thando:
"Si
sToy
aisbat
hinghi
m"
Me:
"Gogi
vehert
hephone"
Thando:
"Okay
"Ihear
dshuf
fl
ings"
It
'sSi
sKat
"
Toy
a:"
Kat
!"
Me:
"Don'
tscr
eam I
'
m notdeaf
"
Toya:
"Mnqumakhowher
ethefuckhavey
ou
beenwewereworri
edsi
ckaboutyou"
Me:"I
t'
salongst
orymnqumakhoIwi
ll
elabor
ate
tomorrowwhenyoucometoseeme.I
'minthe
hospi
tal"
Toy
a:"
Arey
ouokayt
hough"
Ihear
dmysoncr
ying
Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
omysonToy
a"
Toya:"
Hedoesn'
twanttogetdresseducat
hi
l
etotol
ozi
yakheiy
aschaza"Il
aughed
Me:
"St
opf
enci
ngmysonToy
a"Shel
aughed
Toy
a:"
Imi
ssy
oumom i
nlaw"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Imi
ssy
out
ooIcan'
twai
ttoseey
ou"
Toya:
"Metoolookl
etmet akecar
eofmy
husband'
sneedsneh"Il
aughed
Me:
"By
e"
Ihungup
Tbose:
"Letmel
eav
eyoul
ovebi
rdsIwi
l
lwai
tin
thecar
"
PK:
"Sur
e"Tbosewal
kedout"
Ilov
eyouKi
tKat
"
Hebabyki
ssedme
Me:
"Lov
eyoumor
e"
Myf
oodcamePKf
edme
"
Thi
sfoodt
ast
eyuck"
PK:
"Buty
ouhav
etoeatl
ovey
"
Me:
"NoI
'
mfi
ne"
PK:
"Pr
ett
ypl
ease"Hepout
ed
Me:"
Ha.
ababyt
hatunf
airt
ast
ethi
sfood
your
sel
f"
Het
ast
ethef
oodandf
rowned"
Awzwake"
PK:
"Letmegogetsomet
hingf
ory
ouqui
ck"
Me:"
That'
smyman"Hechuckledandki
ssedmy
f
oreheadthenhewal
kedout
.
Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngIwokeupt henurse
hel
pedmebat hed.Iwasreal
lybruisedeven
walki
ngwasami ssi
onimpossi
ble.Afterbat
h
andeveryt
hingshehelpedmegeti ntobed.
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Nurse:
"I
tsmyworkbr
eakfasti
scomi
ngt
hen
youwil
ltakey
ourmeds"
Me:"
Not hankyoumybreakf
asti
soni t
'sway
."
Shechuckled"
Wereyouabletogethol
dofMr
Xaba"
Nurse:"
Unfort
unatel
ynomi sshewenton
businesst
ripthatwhathi
sassist
ancesai
d"
Me:"
Oht hat
'ssadIguessIwi
l
lnev
erseehi
m
andthankhim"
Nur
se:
"Peopl
emeetonedayy
ouwi
l
lmeet
"
Me:
"Iguessy
ouar
eri
ght
"
Nur
se:
"Letmel
eav
eyou"
Me:
"Sur
e"Shewentoutj
ustt
hent
hepeopl
eI
havebeendy
ingtoseeemer
ged.Theybot
h
gaspedatmysight
"
Iknowhey
"
Thando:
"Whodi
dthi
stoy
ousi
s"
Me:"
Someguy s"Iwentonandtoldthem what
wentdown.Theywerebothcr
yingnow
Toy
a:"
Im sosor
rybaby
"
Me:
"I
tsokayToya"WesharedahugThando
wasevenscar
edtotouchme
Thando:
"Idon'
twantt
ohur
tyou"
Me:
"Youwon'
tsi
scomeher
e"Wehugged
Thando:
"It
houghty
oul
eftmesi
sKat
"shecr
ied
Me:"
Iwil
lnev
erl
eaveyouokay"Shenoddedand
pul
l
edback.Iwi
pedhertear
swiththebackof
mypalms"Wher
earetheboys"
Thando:
"Theyhadtostaywi
thLami.Yolandai
s
notavai
l
ableatthemomentherdaughterwas
hi
tbycarsoshei sbei
nghospi
tal
i
zed"
Me:
"Oht
hatsosad"
Toy
a:"
Webr
oughty
oust
eer
sbur
ger
s"
Me:"Thanky
ouzi t
handwaukudlakwalangathi
i
sicukwanayer
r"Theylaughed.Wetalkedt
opics
shif
ti
ngoneaftertheotherwi
thoutusreal
i
zing.
.
AweekpassedIgotdi
schar
gedfr
om t
he
hospi
tal
PKhavebeentaki
nggoodcar
eofme
shame.
HewassupposetobeinKZNworki
ngbuthe
tookf
ewdaysoff
.Oneofthosestr
ange
dri
zzl
i
ngdayinwi
nterIwast
aki
nganapwi t
h
myboy s.
Thandowasst
il
latschool
.Il
ookedatthem
bothandt
ookafewsnapstheylookedsocut
e
man.
Atextf
rom Tbosewentthr
oughheisal
sosti
ll
ar
oundandIhav ebeenant
ici
pat
inghi
scal
l.
"
I'
m out
sidecome"Per
fectt
imi
ngsi
ncemy
boyswereasl
eep.Ir
oll
edoutofbedmaki
ng
sur
ethatIdontwakethem up.
Iwor eAdi
dasbl
acktracksuit
sandblack
tor
sionadi
dassneakers.It
iedmyweav ei
nto
ponytai
l
.It
ookmyphoneandwal kedout.
Ij
umpedi
ntoTbose'
scarandcl
osedt
hedoor
Me:
"Wol
a"
Tbose:
"Showhatdi
dyousayy
ouar
egoi
ngt
o
PK"hedroveswi
ftl
y
Me:"
Heissl
eepi
ngIdidn'
ttel
lhi
m Ij
ustl
eftIwi
ll
dealwi
thhi
m whenIcomeback.Wheredidyou
puther
"
Tbose:
"Wewil
luseToy
a'sbasementsi
nceshe
i
satPortEl
i
zabeth"
Me:"
Goodideay
oudon'
tseem happyar
eyou
ner
vous"
Tbose:
"Yourf
ri
endthi
nkI
m afool
hermom is
notsi
ckshewenttoseet
hatboyf
ri
endofher
s
Luyol
o"
Me:"
Yhoaski
es"Toy
areall
ydoesn'
tknowwhat
doesshewant
.Uponarr
ivalwemadeourway
i
n.
Igat
her
edev er
ythingIwasgoingt
oneed: abi
g
shar
pknif
e,periperi
,sci
ssorandapl
ate.Tbose
l
ookedatmeshocked
Tbose:
"Youar
eonanot
herl
evel
now"
Me:"Nevermesswi t
hme"Wewal keddownt o
thebasement.Thatwhereshewastiedonthe
chai
runconscious.Ipl
acedmythi
ngsont he
smalltabl
e."
Wakeherup"
Hetookabucketofcol
dwaterandt
hrewi
ton
Phumlashegaspedandscr
eamed
Me:
"Wakeywakeysi
sinl
aw"
Shebl
i
nkedsuperf
luousl
yasi
fshei
stry
ingt
o
makesur
eifi
t'
sreall
ymewhogother.
"
Yeahi
t'
smeskwi
zasami
"
Phuml
a:"
Fucky
oubi
tch!
"
Me:"Yourbrot
herfuckmesogood. .
.Ineedy
ou
naked"Itookthescissorandcutof
fher
dressedthenpull
editoutofherbody
Phumla:
"Whatt
hef
ucki
swrongwit
hy oudo
youknowhowmuchthi
sdr
esscost!
"
Me:"Idon'tgi
veashitskwizasami"Icutof fher
braandt hrewitonthefl
oorthenherpanties
andt hrewitonTbose'sf
ace.Hegr oanedI
l
aughed." Youhaveniceboobsbyt heway "I
squeezedherboobswhi l
el ooki
ngathershe
spatonme.Badmov ePhuml abadmov e.Itook
herdr essandwipedhersaliv
a.
"Uyadelel
amsoonwakho!"Islappedherhar d
shegroaned."Ihav
en'
tdoneany t
hingy ety
ou
arescreamingli
keyouar
edy i
ng"Itookt he
knif
eandgr abbedachai
rbeforesitt
inginf
ront
ofher.
"
Tel
lmewhydoy
ouhat
emesomuch"
Phumla:
"Idon'
thav
eti
met
owast
eonhat
ing
you!
"
Me:"
Thenwhydon'
tyouwantmeneary
our
br
other
"
Phumla:"
Youdon'
tdeservehim hedeser
ve
bet
terthenanuneducat
edlit
tl
ebabymama"
Me:
"Ohpl
easest
opt
hatcr
apt
her
e'smor
eto
t
hat
!"
Phuml
a:"
Youar
epat
het
ic!
"
Me:"Whatdi
dyoudot
omymot
her
?"Shewi
den
hereyes
Phuml
a:"
Yourmom whoi
syourmom?
"
Me:"OhIseey
ouhaveamnesi
anowIwi l
lbr
ing
backyourmemor
y"Ist
abbedhert
highshe
screamed.
"
Whatdi
dyoudot
omymom"
Phuml
a:"
Ahhh..
.Idon'
t.
.knowwhoi
syour
mom"shegroanedinagony
Me:"Iwi
l
lremi
ndy
ou"Ist
abbedheront
heot
her
t
high.
Phuml a:
"Ohf
uck!Isai
dIdon'tknowtheonly
thi
ngIknowi swhatPhakamani t
oldmethat
shewentt ol
ookforworkthissi
deandnev er
cameback.Hesai dhewantt ohel
pyoulookfor
herthatwhatIknownowl etmego!"She
wincedinpai
n
Tbose:"
Ohnowitsmakesenseyoupani
cked
whenPKsaidthatandt
hinktheonl
ywayist
o
getri
dofKat"
Phuml
a:"
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"
Tbose:
"Foral
awyeryousuckatl
yi
ngwhere'
s
Katmother?Whatdi
dyoudotoheraf
tert
aking
herman"
Phumla:
"Idon'
tfucki
ngknowwhoi
sher
mother!
"
Igotupfr
om thechairandt
ookapl
atet
hen
pl
acedItonherlaps.
Me:
"Iwi
l
lasky
ouagai
nwher
eismymot
her
"
Shej
ustgr
oansIcutof
fherearshescr
eamed
i
nangui
shwhi
l
eTbosepoppedhi
sey
esout
.
Iputherearont
hepl
ate
"
GhaaadI
'
m soenj
oyi
ngt
his"Il
aughed
Phumla:
"Ahhhf
uckyou!"Shegr
oanedt
ear
s
runni
ngdownhercheeks
Me:
"Whatdi
dyoudot
oMama"
Phumla:
"Youmi
ghtaswel
lki
l
lmecozIwon'
t
tel
lyou"
Me:"Whyareyouinahur r
ywear est
il
lhavinga
goodt i
meherethatparti
ssti
llcoming"I
grabbedherearandcutitof
fshecri
edi nagony
bl
oodoozingfrom herbothears
Tbose:
"Kat
!"
Me:"What"Igavehim adeadstar
ehekeptqui
et.
Ithrewanotherearonthepl
ate"Wher
eismy
fuckingmotherPhumla!!
"
Phuml
a:"
I'
m sor
ry"shecr
ied
Me:
"Sor
ryf
orwhat
?"shegr
oanedIgr
aspedher
boobsandcutherni
ppl
esof
f
Phuml
a:"
Yhooooo"
shescr
eamedi
npai
n
Me:"
Iwi
l
lcuty
oupi
ecesbypi
ecesunt
ily
ou
t
alk!
"
Phuml
a:"
Kil
lme!
"
Me:
"Pl
ugt
hegr
inderf
ormeTbose"
Tbose:
"KatIt
hinki
tsenoughnow"
Me:"
Enough?Yougot
tabeki
ddingmemanshe
hav
en'tt
olduswher
eMamai s"
Phumla:
"AndIwon'
ttel
lyouwher
eist
hatbi
tch
ofyourmama!"
Me:"
Youtookhermant henyoucal
lherbi
tch
youbit
ch!
"Istabbedheronherst
omach
t
wisti
ngtheknifeshegaspedf
orair
Tbose:
"Dammi
tmaanKat
!"
Me:"FuckoffTbose.Haveyouev
ersitonthe
var
endaev ery
dayhopingyourmom wil
lcome
back!Ever
ydayy oukeephopi
ngshewill
come
backbutshenev erdid.Hatestartbui
ldi
ngupi n
yousl owlybutsur ely
.Youhat eherwithpassion
forabandoni ngy ouandy ourli
ttl
esister
.You
arey oungy ourselfbutyouhav etotakecareof
heraswel l.Youbecomeapar entattheageof
10y ears.Hav eyouev ersleptwit
hanempt y
stomachorsl eptinast i
nkingtoi
let.
Sherobbedusachancetogr
owupwit
hour
motherwef i
gur
edt
histhi
ngcal
l
edl
i
feon
our
selves.
Ishouldbeinuniversit
ynowst udyingnot
rai
singmyl i
tt
lesister
.Whoknowsmay beI
wouldhavenotf all
pregnantangithiphelashe
wouldhavebeenher etoguidemeandt ell
me
ri
ghtfrom wrong.Sodon'tyouf uckingdare
stopme.Likeit'
swasnotenoughshehi red
peopletobeatmeup.Ial mostdi edandl eftmy
babiesint
hiscruelwor l
d!"
Ipl
uggedt
hegri
nderandcutof
fal
lhert
oesshe
cri
edi
nagony
.
"
Wher
eismymot
her
!"
Phuml a:
"F.
.f
..
fuckyou!
"shewasget ti
ngweak
everypassi
ngsecond.Itooktheperiper
iand
poureditonallherwoundsshescreamed.I
stabbedheronherpussyshegr oanedli
kea
l
ion
Tbose:"StopitKat
"Hepul
ledmeaway"
I
understandy ouar
eangr
ybutwhatt
heuseshe
i
snott alking"
Me:"
Exactl
yt hati
swhyshehav etobet
ort
ured
unt
ilshedies.Youdon'
texpecthert
owalkout
al
iv
ei nthi
sroom shewil
lmassacreus!
"
Tbose:
"Shei
syourboy
fri
end'
ssi
sterbar
ethat
i
nmi nd"
Me:"
Idon'tcar
eshewant
edtokil
lmekanti
kumelekufebani
?"(
whosupposetodi
e?)
Tbose:
"Howwi l
ly oul
ookathim knowi
ngyou
ki
ll
edhissist
er.Thiswil
lhauntyouKatl
ether
gosheislosi
ngt oomuchbl ood"
Me:
"Uy
ahl
any
a?Shewi
l
lki
l
lus!
"
Tbose:
"Lookather"Hewenttoherandshook
her"Ohshit
!"Hetouchedherpul
se"Shei
sdead
Kat!
"
Me:
"Mi
ssi
onaccompl
i
shed!
"
Tbose:
"OhmyGodKat"Hebrushedhi
shead
paci
ngupanddown"Ohno!"
Me:"
FocusTbosefocus!
"Igr
abbedhi
m byhi
s
ar
m hewasshaking
Tbose:
"Youki
l
ledher
"
Me:"
Uwuyekeukubay
inquzaTbose!
"(st
op
bei
ngapussyTbose!
)
Tbose:
"Angi
sinquza!
"(I
'
m notapussy
!)
Me:
"Vel
emaanuy
inquza!
!"(
Yourar
eapussy
!)
Tbose:
"Angsi
nquz
ami
na!
"(I
'
m notapussy
!)
Me:"Thenstopwhiningandgetagr
ipof
your
self.Sortt
hisoutmakesuresheisf
ound
sothatherfamilywil
lbur
yherandmoveon
wit
htheirl
ives"Ikissedhischeek"Ngikgcwele"
(
Iloveyou)Imademayoutandst oppedonmy
t
racks"IhopeIdon' thavetoremindyout hat
t
hisonewewi l
ltakeittoourgraves"
Tbose:
"Ofcour
se"
Me:
"Good"
[
06/
01,
08:
09]W: Ngcwel
ekazi
Lusi
zi
35
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Weal ldon'tknowwear ecapableofmurder
unti
lcircumstancesforcedustodoso.Ikil
led
MrsZondi ,itwaseit
heritsherorusshehadto
di
ef orthepainsheputal lt
hosegir
lsthr
ough
butmosti mpor t
ant
lyforabducti
ngmysi st
er.
Noonetouchmyf amil
yandgettotellt
het al
e
butasf
orPhumlaitwasnev ermyi
ntentionat
al
ltoki
l
lhersheistheonewhodidn'tcome
cl
eannomatterhowItort
uredherandthat
ant
agoni
zedmef
uther
.
Ikepttort
uri
ngandt ortur
ingherunti
lshelost
toomuchbl oodanddi ed.Im sosadthatshe
diedwithoutt
ell
i
ngmewher eisMama
nevert
helessIi
ntendtof i
ndoutnomat t
erwhat
Iwon'tstopunti
lIfoundoutwhathappened.
PhumlaohPhumlamayhersoul burninhel
l
,
somehowshehadt obeoutofthepictur
eI
knowforsur
ethatshewasn'tgonnaletmego
unpuni
shedhadIlethergo.
I'
m notscaredofdeatht rustmethet hi
ngisifI
candiewhoi sgoingtotakecar eofmyki ds?
Howwi l
ltheysurviv
ewi t
houtme?Howwi llt
hey
l
iveandmov eonwi ththeirli
veswithoutme?
Howwi l
lmysont akeint hepainofhermama
bei
ngdeadbef oreheknewher ?
Alli
nallI
'
m doi
ngwhateverIcanf ormykids
theyst
il
lneedme.Ihavetoseet hem growup
andbecomewhatevertheywannabe.Ist i
ll
needtoseemygrandchil
dren.Isti
llhav
eal ot
toli
vef orIcan'
tleav
ethisworldnoty etandby
thelookoft hi
ngsPKwasn' tgoingtokeepme
safefrom hissist
erbutIunderstand.
Iwashedherbloodinmyhandsi nt
he
bat
hroom thenIlef
tleav
ingTboset
otakecar
e
ofever
ythi
ng.
Itr
usthi
m Iknowhewon' tmessthisuphehad
seenworsethanthis,
rememberhi suncle?The
onewestolehisgunsf r
om heisagangl ord,
Tboseandhisbrothersareoneofhisguy s
al
thoughhekeept hem outofot
hermi ssions.
Ishockedhim asmuchasIshockedy ou.I
checkedthetimeinmyphonei twas14:00soI
decidedtogofetchThandoi nherschoolI
neededtotalkwithoneofherf ri
endPrett
y.I
paidthedri
verthengotoff.Thereshewas
comi ngwit
hherf r
iends.
Prett
ysawmef ir
standsai
dsomet
hingt
othem
theylookedatmeIsawThando'sl
i
pscurvi
ng
sweet l
y.Theygottome.
Thando:
"Thi
sisani
cesur
pri
se"shehuggedme
Me:
"I
m gl
ady
oul
i
kei
t"Ipul
l
edout
Thando:
"Youknowmyf
ri
endsPr
eeandKB"
Me:
"Hel
l
ogi
rl
s"Theybot
hsmi
l
e
Them:
"Hel
l
osi
sKat
"
Me:
"Howar
eyougi
rl
s?"
Them:
"Wear
efi
nehowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
m super
"
Pr
ett
y:"
Youar
esobeaut
if
ulsi
sKat
"
Me:
"Thanky
ousweet
hear
t.
..
youar
ebeaut
if
ul
t
oo"
Thando:
"Don'
tpl
ayl
i
ket
hatsi
sha.
a"Theyal
l
l
aughed
Pr
ett
y:"
Mxm j
eal
ousy
"
Me:"CanIt
alkt
oyouf orasecondPret
ty"She
noddedwewalkedasidefrom t
hetwo"Your
mom isasangomaright?"
Pr
ett
y:"
Yes"
Me:
"Cany
ougi
vemeherdi
git
spl
ease"
Pr
ett
y:"
Youwantt
ocomef
orconsul
tat
ion?
"
Me:
"Yes"
Prett
y:"
Okay
..
.078"shecal
l
edoutt
hedi
git
sI
savedthem.
Me:"
Thanky ou"Shesmil
edshegotabeautiful
smil
ewegotbackt oot
hers"Wecangonowi t
wasniceseeingyougir
lsIhopeya'
l
lstudyi
ng
andnotentert
aini
ngboys"Theygi
ggledshyl
y
Pr
ett
y:"
Ofcour
sesi
sKat
"
Kar
abo:
"NnaI
'
m wai
ti
ngf
orLami
pat
ient
ly"
Wel
aughed
Me:"I
'
m gladI'
m goi
ngt
ohav
eabeaut
if
ul
daughteri
nlaw"
Thando:
"Wuuhsi
sKBistheminist
erofl
azy
bast
ardsmynephewcannotcanshame"We
l
aughedonceagai
n
Kar
abo:
"Mxm uy
aphapha"
Thando:
"Lov
eyout
oo"Theyhuggedt
henwe
part
ed.
Wewereinthecapnowdr
ivi
ngt
oour
apar
tment
.
"
Siswhatwer
eyouandPr
ett
ytal
ki
ngabout
"
Me:
"Iknewyouwil
laskmet
handai
zi
ndabasi
s
wami"shepout
ed
Thando:
"Si
scomeon"
Me:
"Iwantt
oseehermot
her
"
Thando:
"Yhot
hat
'sscar
ySangomawhyi
fImay
ask?"
Me:"
Iwanthertoint
erpr
etdreamsIhavebeen
havi
nglatel
y"Il
i
edofcourseIwanttocleanse
myselfIdon'
twantPhumla'
sevil
spi
ritt
ohang
al
loverme.
Thando:
"Okay
"WegothomeandfoundPKwith
Lamistr
appedonhi
sbackashewasmaking
Lami'
sbottl
e.Beaut
if
ulsi
ghteverIcoul
dn'
thel
p
butsmil
e.Ireal
l
yfoundmyselfagoodguy.
PKi sjustoneofthoseguy
sthatmakeussee
thattherearest
il
lgoodguysoutt
her
e."
Ncoo
ain'
ttheysweet"
Me:
"Li
kesugar
"PKf
lashedhi
sgor
geoussmi
l
e.
PK:
"Howi
syouchi
cken?
"
Thando:
"I
mfinebut
i.
..
letmegochange"she
ski
ppedout
PK:
"Wher
ewer
eyou"
Me:"
Iwasbor
edwhenyoubothwer
esl
eepi
ng
soIdeci
dedt
ofet
chThando"
PK:
"Wej
ustwokeuphei
shungr
yI'
m sur
e"I
wal
kedt
owardshi
m
Me:"Don'tworryaboutt
hebottl
esIwi l
lbreast
feedhim"Iplacedmyhandonhi sneckand
pull
edhim closedtomyl i
ps,
kissinghi
m
passionatel
ypouringmyheartoutint
ot hekiss.
PK:"
Wow"Hesmil
ed"Whatdi
dIdot
odeser
ve
suchanamazi
ngki
ss"
Me:"Thankyouf orbeingt
hebestboy f
riendyou
are.I'
m suchaluckiestgi
rli
nthisworl
d.IwishI
canev entwordstodescri
behowmuchIl ov
e
yousot hatyoucanhav eaclearpi
ctureofwhat
doy oumeant ome"
PK:"Ohbabey oumakemewannacr ynow"I
giggl
ed" Il
oveyoumor emyKi tKatI
'
mt heone
whoi sluckyhere.Yourockmysoul madam"he
saidthelastpartwit
haNi ger
ianaccent
.I
chuckledandkissedhim agai
nashecupped
myf acewi t
hhissoftpalms.
Wepul l
edapartaf
tersomet
imehisey
eswer
e
redIcoul
dfeel
hishardguyagai
nstmy
abdomen.
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"Iwhi
sper
ed
PK:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"hewhi
sper
edback.
Doy
out
hinkt
hiswoul
dhav
elasti
fPhuml
ais
sti
l
l al
i
ve?Idon'
tthinkso.Yeshewil
lbehur
t
whenhef i
ndoutthathissist
eri
sdeadbutI
actual
lydi
dhim afavourtoocozhewoul
dhave
l
ostmet odeath.
Me:"
Letmefeedhi
m befor
eIcook.
.whatdo
youwannaeatt
oni
ght?"
PK:
"Asl
ongasi
tscookedbychefKi
tKatIdon'
t
car
e"
Igi
ggl
edasIt
ookLami
from PK'
sback.
Me:"
Hell
obigboy "Hebli
nkedhiseyesstari
ngat
meashesuckedonhi sfatthumb"Mommy
missyou"Ikissedhi
sforehead.Heisgrowing
shameandt hemor ehedoeshei sbecoming
morechubby .
Ohmyfatt
yboom boom baki
thi
Iwoul
dn'
ttr
ade
hi
mforthewor
ld .
PK:"
Whatdoy
ouwantmet
ohel
pyouwi
th
baby"
Me:
"Youcancutt
hev
eggi
esf
ormemyl
ove"
PK:"
YeschefKit
Kat
..
whatki
ndofaboywho
suckhi
sthumb"HewashedhishandsasIsat
downonthehighchai
randbreast
fedLami
.
Me:
"Leav
emybabyal
one"
PK:
"Wewon'thaveuMakot
ilaI
'
mt el
l
ingyou"
Hestar
tedchoppingt
heveggi
esasThando
wal
kedi
n.
Thando:
"I
'm hungr
y"
Me:"
Ofcoursey
ouarehungr
y"Ir
oll
edmyey
es
sheisf
orev
erhungr
y.Shemadefoodf
or
her
self
Thando:
"But
iIneedsomehel
pwi
thmy
assi
gnment"
PK:
"Account
ing?
"
Thando:
"Yep"shesai
dpour
ingj
uicei
nthegl
ass
PK:
"Don'
tworr
ywewi
l
lmur
deri
tjustf
ini
sh
eat
ingfi
rst
"
Shet
ookherf
oodandwentt
othel
ounge
pr
obablyt
owatchTV.Ihel
pedLami
bur
ped
af
terhewasf
ull
.
"
Imf
ini
shedl
ove"
Me:
"Thanksst
handwasami
."Het
ookLami
.
PK:"Wewil
lbeint heloungei fyouneedus"I
noddedthenhedisappear ed.Iwashedmy
handsandstart
ingcooking.AsIwasbusywi t
h
mypot saf
terawhi l
eIfelthisarmswr appi
ng
aroundmywaistfrom behi nd.Henibbl
edonmy
earcausi
ngmet omoan" Imi ssyou"
Me:"I
..
miss.
.y
ou.
.too"Il
etoutasof
tmoanashe
squeezedmybreast.
PK:
"Whenar
ewegoi
ngt
omakel
oveagai
n?"
Me:
"3mor
emont
hst
ogo"
PK:
"Yhot
oofarawaydon'
tyout
hink"Hesucked
onmyneck
Me:
"Mm y
es"
PK:
"Let
'sbr
eakt
her
ules"
Me: "Ohhwecan't"damnhewassucki ngonmy
necksogood.Suddenl ythekitchenwas
pervadedbyunpleasantbur ningsmel l."
baby!
somet hingi
sburning"Ifreedmy sel
ffrom hi
s
holdandr emovedt hepotf r
om thest ove
"Uyazibonamara"(y ousee)
PK:
"OopsI
'
m sor
ry"Hesmi
rked
Me:"
Gonowcozyouaremaki
ngmypot
sbur
n
nowIhav
etost
artaf
resh"
PK:"
Butbaby"hewhi
nedpout
inghi
sli
psand
squi
nti
nghiseyes
Me:"
Ha.adon'
tlookatmeli
ket
hatgo!go!
"He
gi
ggledasIpushedhi
m out
.
At7:
30pm Idi
shedupforal
lofus.Weat
e
whil
ewat
chingscandal
.
Thando:"
Luckytheguythatisgoi
ngtomarry
youyali
shayaibhodomtakamahngabeumona
wabantu"(y
ouar eagreatcooksi
sjeal
ous
down)
Me:"Thankyouslaybabe"PK'sphoneranghe
answereditthenextminuteitwasfal
l
ingonthe
fl
ooralongwi t
hhispl
ate.From t
hatmomentI
knewitwasaboutPhuml a."Babewhat's
wrong?"
Hisbodytr
embledvi
olentl
yIgaveThandomy
sonandat t
endedPK"Sthandwasami"Ihel
d
hi
m helookedatmewi t
hglassyeyes
PK:
"Shei
sgone"Thatcameoutasawhi
sper
Me:
"Whoi
sgonebaby
?Gonewher
e?"
PK:
"Phuml
ashei
sdead"hebur
sti
ntoacr
y
Me:
"OhmyGod!Whathappened?When?
"
PK:"
Shewasbr utal
lykil
l
ed.Theyfoundher
nakedherear
s, ni
pplesandtoescutoff
"He
wail
edli
keababy
Me:"Ohmyhowcouldpeoplebecruel
!"Don't
l
ookatmel i
kethat "I
'm sor
rybaby"Ipul
led
himinmyarmsandsqueezedhim" Thandogo
toyourbedr
oom wi
thLami"Shestoodupand
wal
kedout"Ngi
yaxol
i
sast
handwasami
"(I
'
m
sor
rymylov
e)
PK:
"Theyki
l
ledherKatt
heyki
l
ledmysi
ster
!"
Me:
"Ican'
tbel
ievepeopl
ecanbeev
ill
i
ket
hat
.
What'
shappeningi
nthiswor
ld!
"
PK:"
Whatpai
nsi
sthatshedi
edwhenwewer
e
angr
yateachot
her
"
Me:"BecauseofmeI'
mr eal
lysor
ry"Webot
h
cri
edtogetherhi
ssobspier
cedthroughmy
heart.
PK:"
Letmegotheyareexpect
ingme"Hepul
l
ed
backIwi
pedhi
st ear
sandhismucus
Me:
"I
'm sor
rybaby
"
PK:"
It
snoty ourfaul
tmyl ove"Webothst
oodup
andhuggedf orthelongestti
methenhel
eftt
o
hi
ssister
'splace.IwenttoThando'
sbedr
oom.
Thando:
"Ser
veherr
ight
!"
Me:
"Thandodon'
tsayt
hati
t'
ssocr
uel
!
"
Thando:
"Buti
t'
str
ueshewant
edt
oki
l
lyousi
s"
Me: "
Iknowbutyouarenothear
tl
essPhumla
didn'
tdeservet
odienoonedoes.Neversay
thatagainokay
?"
Thando:
"Okay
"
Me:"
Thanky
ouformaki
nghi
m sl
eepy
ouar
eso
goodwit
hhi
m"shesmil
ed
Thando:
"Hei
ssoador
abl
e"Iki
ssedherl
i
ps
Me:
"Goodni
ght
"
Thando:"Ni
ghtsi
s"It
ookLamiandwal
kedt
o
mybedr oom wher
eIIayhi
m onhi
scott
hen
uncl
othed.
Iwenttothebathroom andtookal ongshower
mymi ndwasr eel
ingwiththoughts.If
ini
shed
showeringanddried.Iworepanti
esandagown
thensl
ippedintobed.Icall
edTbosehe
answeredonasecondr i
ng
Tbose:
"Dawg"
Me:
"Howar
eyounow"
Tbose:"
I'
mf i
nemanIwasj ustshockedyou
showedmet heothersi
deofyour
sInever
thoughtexi
sted"
Mr:"
IknowandI
m sor
ryf
ort
hat
..t
hef
ami
l
y
knowsnow"
Tbose:
"Howdi
dPKt
ooki
t?"
Me:"
Hei
sbr
okenbr
aandi
thur
tst
oseehi
mli
ke
t
his"
Tbose:
"I
'm sor
ryman"
Me:"
Itshal
lpass.
..
sinceshedi
dn'
ttel
luswe
hav
et odigmoreaboutMama"
Tbose:"
Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hatIwi
l
lkeep
di
gging."
Me:
"Wehaveanothert
hingtofi
ndwho'sfat
her
i
sPhuml
a'shusbandbet weenThandoandI"
Tbose:
"Iwi
l
lbeoni
t"
Me:
"Thanky
ouIl
ovey
ouokay
"
Tbose:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"Wehungup.
Ideci
dedtoreadAmajubabyMikeMaphotoas
Iwaswaiti
ngforPK.Imusthavef
all
enasleep
cozIfel
thi
scoldhandtouchi
ngmythighs
Me:
"Babe"Hesmell
edal
cohol
andhi
sey
es
wer
ebloodshotr
ed
PK:
"YesI
'
m backbaby
"Hegotont
opofmeand
ki
ssedmewit
hsomuchhunger
Me:"Youar
edrunk"Hesaidnothi
ngand
squeezedmybreast"PKI'
m noti
nthemood
besi
dewear enotsupposetomakelov
eLami
i
sstill
small
"
PK:
"Imi
ssy
ou"Heunwr
appedmygown
Me:"PKstopitplease"Hetoremypantiesand
spreadmyl egsapartposit
ioni
nghimself
betweenmyt hi
ghs"PKplea..
"Icoul
dn'
tfini
shed
asIf el
thi
m pushinginwithtoomuchf or
ce.I
fl
inchedmyf ist
senduringthepai
nasIshutmy
eyesclosed.
Hewentonforawhil
eIl i
stenedt
ohim grunt
ing
andpant
ingunt
ilher
eleased.Herol
l
eddown
fr
om mesecondslat
erhewassnor i
ngl i
ghtl
y.
Thefol
lowingmorni
ngIwokeupfeeli
nga
bur
ningsensat
iondownther
e.Iwenttot
akea
l
ongasshowerallowi
ngwatertowashaway
mytears.
WhenIf i
nishedshoweri
ngIgotdr essedint
oa
huggingdr essandsandals.LamiandPKwer e
sti
llasleepIwenttothekitchenandmade
breakfastformylit
tl
esisterandmy self
.She
emer gedaf t
erawhileal
readyinherschool
unif
or m.
Thando:
"Mor
ningsi
s"
Me:"Morni
ngbaby
"Webabyki
ssed."
Her
eis
yourfood"
Thando:
"Thanky
ou"shesatdownasIdidso
thenwestart
edeat
ing."
Youareawf
ulquietar
e
youokay?"
Me:
"YeahIj
ustf
eel
sor
ryf
orPK"If
akedasmi
l
e
Thando:
"Icanimagi
net
hepainheisgoi
ng
thr
ough.Iwil
lki
ll
mysel
fify
oudieonme"
Me:"
Don'
tsaythatwhataboutLami
whoi
s
goi
ngtorai
sehim?"
Thando:
"Iwi
l
lki
l
lbot
hofus"
Me:
"Thando!
"Shel
aughed"
It
'snotf
unny
"
Thando:
"St
opst r
essi
ngLamiwi
llsensey
ouand
cr
yintoengapheli
butiwi
l
lbeal
ri
ght"
Me:"Yeah"Wef i
nishedeat
ingIwenttotake
PK'scarkeysandmywal l
et."
Iwil
ldr
iveyouto
school"PKtaughtmehowt odri
ve
Thando:
"Yippe!!
"OnthewaytoThando'
sschool
Ical
ledPrett
y'smom inf
ormi
ngherthatI
m
comingandsheagr eed.
Me:
"Hav
eagr
eatday
"Igav
eherR100not
e
Thando:
"Thankssl
ayQueen"shekissedmy
cheekandsteppedoutofthecar
.Ihooted
onceanddr
ovet
oPr
ett
y'
shome
Uponar
ri
val
Iwasusher
edbyal
i
ttl
eboyi
ntoa
hut
.
It
ookof
fmyshoesf
ir
stbef
oregoi
ngi
n.
Thehuthadallsortofski
nanimalandi
twas
toodar
kIbarleycouldseeherthr
ought
he
candl
eli
ghts.Isatdownonthemat
Her
:"
Iwel
comey
oui
ntomywor
ld"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Her:
"Bef
orewecontinuelet
'scl
eanseyoubutI
havetosaydon'
tall
owangercontroly
oumy
chi
l
dy oucan'
tki
llevery
body"
Me:
"YesMakhosi
"Shegather
edallhermut
i
t
henwedrovetoari
verunderthebri
dge
Her:
"Uncloth"Istr
ippednakedshetookthe
20l
itr
et hathadmut iandpouri
tfr
om myheadI
gaspedf orai
r."Awasukewonkeamat hunzi
amany ama!"Igotdressedthenwewentt oher
homei nherhut ."
Youaretooyoungtotake
l
i
vesIhopet
hisi
sthel
astt
ime.
"
Me:
"YesMakhosi
"
Her:"
Consultat
ionisR200"It ookoutthemoney
andplaceditonthef l
oor.Shet ookhersmal
l
brownani malski
nbagandt oldmet oblewi
nit
.
Ididasshesai dthensheshookt hebag
grunti
ngandcal l
i
ngherancest or
s.Shewasati
t
forawhi l
ethenthrewthebonesont hemat.
Shegr unt
edandt ookishoba.
"Youwer
emeantf orgr
eatthi
ngsinli
feIcan
seeyousuccessf
ulandfamousbutsomet hi
ng
i
sstandi
ngony ourwayvumanibo!"
Me:
"Si
yav
uma"Icl
appedmyhands
Her
:"
TheMhl
ongoancest
orsar
edeny
ingy
ou"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeanMakhosi
"
Her:
"Theysayyoudon'
tbel
ongt
othem y
ouar
e
notoneofthem"
Me:"Idon'
tunder
standMakhosi
maybei
t'
s
becauseit
'smymom' ssur
namenotmyfather
's
sur
name"
Her:
"Yourmom' sancestor
sareal
soyour
ancestor
stheycan'tdenyyou.
"OkayIwas
confusedasfuck
Me:"
Buttheyar
edeny
ingmeMakhosi
I'
m
conf
used"
Her
:"Yourmom hav
eal
ltheanswer
syouneed
t
ofindher"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowwhereissheIthi
nkshei s
deadnowitshasbeen10year
snowt hi
syear
i
tsgoingt
obe11y earssi
nceshedisappeared"
Her:
"Sheisnodi
ffer
entfr
om adeadper
son
al
thoughsheisnotdeadphy
sical
ly
"More
confusi
on
Me:
"I
mlostMakhosi
"
Her
:"
Leav
enow"
Me:"
Butyouhav
en'
ttol
dmeev
ery
thi
ngI
'
m st
il
l
conf
used"
Her:
"CozI'
m nott heonewhohav eanswer s.
Goodbye"Istoodupandwal kedoutfeeli
nglost.
Whatdoesshemeanwhenshesaymymom' s
ancest
orsaredeny ingme?Howcant heydeny
mewhenI mt heirdaughter'
sdaught erthi
sis
j
ustconfusi
ng.Ihoppedi nthecarandbuckled
upbeforedri
vingoff .Ist
art
edatt hepharmacy
boughtmor ningafterpil
lsanddownt hem t
hen
drovehome.
If
oundPKf
eedi
ngLami
hisbot
tl
e.
Me:
"Hey
"Isatnex
ttohi
m
PK:"
I'
m sor
ry"Il
ookeddownhi
dingt
ear
sinmy
eyes
Me:
"I
t'
sokay
"
PK:
"Noit
'snotokayKatIf
orcedmysel
fint
oyou
I
'm amonster
.I'
mreall
ysorr
y"Tear
sfal
ldown
hi
sface
Me:
"I
t'
sfi
ner
eal
l
yyouwer
edr
unkandbr
oken"
PK:
"Thatdoesn'
tmakei
tokayt
hough"
Me:
"Ssshdon'
tcr
yitsokayIpr
omiseyou"I
wi
pedhistear
swit
hmypal msandkissedhi
m.
PK:"Canyoubeli
evet
hatEdwardaccusemeof
ki
lli
ngmysistermyownf ucki
ngsi
sterandwhat
hurtmoremydadagr eewithhi
m!"hi
sv oi
ce
broke
Me:
"What
!!t
hatbul
l
shi
twhywoul
ddot
heysay
t
hat"
PK:"Wheny oudi
sappearedItoldherifIf
ound
outshei si
nvol
vedinyourdisappearanceIwil
l
ki
llher.
.Idi
dn'
tmeanitKatIwasj ustsayingand
nowI '
m notevenal
lowedtobur ymysi st
er"
Me:"
Not heycan'
tdot
hatumsanganol
oyowhat
doesyourmom say?"
PK:
"Mom i
scr
yingnonst
op"
Me:"I
'mreal
lysorrybabydon'
ttakethem
seri
oustheyarejustl
ookingf
orsomeonet o
blametheyknowy ouwillnev
erkill
yourown
si
ster"Tj
othingsaregett
ingmorediffi
cul
tnow.
Herest
edhi
sheadonmyshoulderIbr
ushed
hi
sbackashesobbedsi
l
ent
ly.
3dayspassedIhavebeenaver
ysuppor
ti
ve
gi
rl
fri
endal
thoughIdon'
tgowit
hhimtohis
si
ster
'spl
acecozIhavetot
akecar
eofLami.
"Don'tbescared"Sai
dTbosewewer esit
tingin
theloungeinmyapar t
ment.Iopenedthe
envelopandunf ol
dedthepi
eceofpaperinside.
Myey esdar
tedon00.0%Myhear tfl
i
nched
painfull
y.
Tbose:
"Whatdoesi
tsay
?"
Me:
"I
'm nothisdaughter
"Igav
ehi mt
her
esul
t
t
henopent heotherone"Ohmy "
Tbose:
"What
"hetooktheresul
ts"Wowsmal
l
worl
diti
sEdwardisThando'sf
ather
"
I
m happyt hatThandowi l
lfi
nal
lymeether
fatherbutotherpartofmeissadIwashopi ng
hei sourfather.It
houghtmaybet hisi
sourbig
breakwewi llfi
nall
ymeetourfatherandfeelt
he
happi
nessthatcomeswit
hit.Whatift
heybui
l
d
agreatbondandThandofor
getaboutme?
.
.
ThankYouLi
ke,
Comment
,Shar
e
[
06/
01,
08:
09]W: Ngcwel
ekazi
Lusi
zi
36
PHAKAMANI
•
Icouldn'
tbeli
evei
tmysisteri
sdeadsomehowI
thoughtwhenIgetther
etheywil
ltel
lmea
dif
ferentst
ory.
Iar
ri
vedatmysi st
er'
splace,
mypar ent
scar
wasalr
eadyparkedintheyardwhichmakeme
wonderhowlonghadt hi
shappenediftheyar
e
her
ealready
.
Meandmyparentsli
veinKZNwher
easmy
br
otherandmysi
sterl
iv
eherei
nSandt
on.My
brot
herJabul
anii
stheel
dest
,Phumlawast
he
secondbornandI
'mthel
astborn.
Wewer ev er
yclosewit
hmysi st
erbothJabul
ani
andIshewasouronl ysist
eraft
eral
landwe
hadtotreatherli
keaneggeventhoughsheis
ol
derthenme.
Weuset ofightbutitwasneverintenseli
kethe
fi
ghtwehadabouthert ryi
ngtobr eakmy
rel
ati
onshi
pwi t
hKat .I
tsoneofthebi gfi
ghtwe
everhadcozIevent hr
eatenedt
oki llwhi
ch
cameoutunintenti
onall
y.
AnywayIsteppedoutofmycarIcoul
dfeel
my
kneeswobbli
ngIclosedt
hedoorandmademy
wayin.
Inthekit
chenIwaswel comedbymysi ster
's
husband'ssist
er(Nozi
pho)andmybr ot
her'
s
wif
e( Khensani)Theywerebusydoi
ng
somet hi
ngli
kecooking.
Me:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Them:
"Heyboy
"
Me:
"Wher
ear
etheel
der
s"
Nozi
pho:"
Themasterbedr
oom"Iwalkedupt
o
t
hestai
rcaseandwenttothebedr
oom.
Icoul
dhearmymom'ssobsasIapproachthe
doorandmyhear
tbr
oke.Iknockedonthedoor
andtheyal
l
owedmein.
Thecandle,
andthematt
ressmom andher
si
ster
stogetherwi
thmysist
er'
shusband'
s
motherconfi
rmedi
tandtheatmospheremade
i
tworse.
OhLor
dshei
sreal
l
ydead.
Me:
"Gr
eet
ings"Theyal
ll
ookedatme.
WhenIsayal
lImeanmom,hertwosister
s,
Edwar
d'smom,Edwar
d,DadandJabulani
.
Theygr
eet
edbackexceptDadandEdwar
d.
Iwentt
osi
tnextt
omamawhowasaweepi ng
messandi
tbr
okemyhear
ttoseehercr
yingso
pai
nful
.
HowIwi shthewassomet hingIcoulddoto
bri
ngbackPhuml a.Mom isourev ery
thi
ngI
wouldn'
tsayshelovemeandJabul animore
thanshelovePhuml abutshehav easoftspot
forusasmuchasdadhav esoftspotfor
Phumla,hisonl
yprincess.
Me:
"Pl
easet
ell
mei
tsal
lj
ustadr
eam mom"
Mom:"I
'
m sor
rymyson"shesobbedIbur
iedmy
headonherbreastandcr
iedl
i
keabit
ch
Edwar
d:"
Crocodi
l
etear
s!Awusy
eke
ngomsi
ndo!"
Igotupfrom mom andl
ookedatmysi
ster
's
husband
Me:
"Whatdi
dyousaySbal
i"(
brot
heri
nlaw)
Edwar
d:"
Youki
l
ledher!Youkil
ledmywife!
!"I
l
ookedathi
mtryi
ngtodigestwhathesaid
Me:
"Whaat
?"
Mom:
"Canwej
ustst
opt
hisokay
"
Edwar
d:"
NoMawecan' tyoursonki
l
ledmywi
fe.
Hethr
eatenedt
okil
lheraweekbacknowshe
i
sdead.Hedeserv
etorotinhel
l!
"
Edward'
smom:"
That'
sabsurdPhakamani
wil
l
neverki
l
lhi
ssi
sterar
eyouinsane!
"
Edward:"
Thenexplai
nmotherhowcomehe
threat
enedtoki
ll
herthenqwiqi
qimywi
fei
s
founddead!
"
Me:"
Ididn'
tkil
lherSbal
iIwil
lneverki
ll
mysist
er.
IwasjustangrywhenIsaidthat
.Ispokenout
ofanger"
Dad:
"Youexpectust
obel
i
evet
hat
?"
Il
ookedatdadi
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Me:"
Dadit
smePhakamani y
oursonhowcould
youthi
nkofsomet
hingcr
uell
iket
hatabout
me?"
Dad:
"SonIknowyouwi
l
lnevert
odoitbuty
ou
werecont
rolbyt
hemut
ithatgi
rli
sgi
vi
ngyou!
"
Ichuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
efshaki
ngmyhead
Me:
"Katdi
dn'
tfeedmeanymut
ifat
her
"
Dad:"
Eywear eeldersweknowt hesethingsyou
can'
tjustgocrazyforagirlwhoyoujustmet
monthsbackinapoi ntthatyouki
ll
edy ourown
si
ster
.Shebewi tchedyou!"
Mom: "
Mngomezul
upleasestopitpl
easethi
sis
nottheri
ghtt
imenort
heplace"shewipedher
tear
s
Dad:"Thi
sistherightt
imeandt her
ightpl
ace
wewoul dn'
tbegat her
edher ehadthisboy
stayedfai
thfull
ooknowIl ostmyonl ydaught
er
becauseofhi m.Myprincessisgone"He
whisperedthelastpar
tyindef eat
Me:"Dadt hati
snottr
ueIdidn'
tki
l
lmysist
er
mom pl easetel
lmeyoubeliev
eme.Aunty?
Bro?"Il
ookedatthem onebyonetheonl
y
peoplewhobel i
evedmewasmom , Edward'
s
mom andJabu
"IknowwhatIcan'
tbel
iev
ey ouguy sIwi
ll
get
someairandpret
endli
keyoudidntaccuseme
ofsuchcruel
tyt
omyownsi sterpho!"
Edward:
"I'
m goi
ngt
omakesur
eyougot
ojai
l
fort
his!
Idon'
twanty
out
obeher
einmywi
fe'
sfuner
al!
"
Mom'
sEdwar
d:"
Noyouar
etaki
ngt
hist
he
wr
ongwaymaan!
"
Edward:"
Mywifei
sdeadMaandshewas
murderedli
keanani
mal!
"
Mom:"I
tshasn'
tbeenhourssi
ncewelosther
wearealr
eadyoneachother'
sthr
oat
scanwe
r
espectmydaughterpl
ease!
"
Me:"Ibet
terl
eavecozI
'
mtheonewhoi
s
causingt
roubl
e"
Edwar
d:"
Goodandy
oubet
ternotcomeback"
Ist
oodupandmademywayout
"
Phakamani
wai
tupmf
ethu"Ii
gnor
edhi
m he
gr
abbedmyar
m
Me:
"Whatbr
o"
Jabu:
"I
'm sorr
y"Hepulledmei nhisarmsI
pushedhim hepressedmet ightl
yunti
lIcoul
dnt
butcry
."Ssshitsokaydon'tcry.Theyar
e
gri
evi
ngpleaseunderstand"
Me:
"TheysayIki
l
ledmysist
erJabuy
ouhav
e
noi
deahowmuchi thur
ts"
Jabu:
"I
'mreall
ysorr
yIwil
ltal
ktot
hem don'
tcr
y
pl
ease"Ipul
ledbackandwipedmyface
Me:
"Youdobel
i
evemer
ight
?"
Jabu:
"Ofcour
sebr
otheyar
ecr
azy
"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Ihuggedhi
m
Jabu:
"I
sKatcomi
ngt
othef
uner
al?
"
Me:"
Idon'
tthi
nksoshehav
etotakecar
eof
Lamisi
ncethenannyi
sunvai
l
abl
einthe
moment"
Jabu:
"Goodwedon'
twantdr
amacoz
Sqal
okuhlewill
beher
ewit
hherf
ather.Br
ayou
needtochoosewhodoyouwantseri
ousl
ythi
s
wil
lbackf
ire"
Me:
"IknowbutIl
ovet
hem bot
h"
Jabu:
"That'
simpossibl
eyoucan'
tl
ovetwogir
ls
andI'
m scaredcozthesebot
hgir
lsl
oveyou
dearl
y"
Me:"
Eisht
ellmeaboutitandKathav
ebeen
t
hroughalotshedoesn'
tdeser
vethi
s."
Jabu:
"Sqal
okuhl
eont
heot
hersi
dei
sa
sweet
heart
"
Me:"Idon'
twanttohurtthem bothandIhate
thatdadismakingmet ost i
ckwi t
hKuhleso
thathecankeept hebusinessesKuhl
e'
sf at
her
gavehim.I'm myownmanImakemyown
decisi
on.Iwil
lchoosewhodoIwantonmyown
ti
meIneednopushnot hreat
eningwords"
Jabu:
"Idon'
twisht
obeyoumanbutyouknow
yourf
atherwil
ldowhat
everi
tst
aket
okeephis
busi
nesses"
Me:"
Don'
ttel
lmehewi
l
lar
rangeamar
ri
agef
or
Kuhl
eandI"
Jabu:"I
tsnotl
i
key ouguysarenotin
rel
ati
onshi
p"Igroanedi
nfrustr
ati
on.
Me:"
Let'
sgogrababeer
"Wegoti
nourcar
sand
wenttogetsl
oshed.
Wel
lIhav
en'
tbeenhonestwi
thy
ouguy
s.
SqalokuhleandIhavebeendati
ngforayear
andmont hs.Ourr
elat
ionshi
pisokayandal
l
al
thoughwehav en'
tbeeninti
matesheisst
il
la
vi
rgi
n.
Herfat
herandmyfatherarefr
iendsal
lthe
busi
nessesdadhav
et hemanbehi ndthem i
s
MrMawakhelomuziSit
hole.
Mont hsbackImetKatmygoodLordt
hatchi
ck
dri
vemecr azyl
i
keIcan'
tfi
ndwor
dstodescr
ibe
thethingsshedoestome.
Thef
ir
stt
ime"
wef
ucked"asshecal
l
edi
tIf
elta
connecti
onbetweenus.Idon'
tknowormaybeI
wasblindedbythecooki
ebutthemoreIspend
ti
mewi thherwasthemoreIwantedmoreof
her.
Ifal
linlovewi t
hheroverandoveragainwhi l
eI
wasst i
l
l i
nl ovewit
hKuhle.Thepict
urePhuml a
showedKati twasmeandKuhl eIcouldn'
ttell
Katthet r
uthcozIdon'twanttoloseher.Iknow
I'
m wrongandi t
sonlyamat t
erofti
met he
bombbur standI'
m sofl
ippi
ngscaredman.
Afterdri
nkswepar tedIwentt otheapartment
andf oundKatsleepingIundressedandslipped
nexttoherIwashor nyasfuckIcouldn'
tcontrol
my selfi
nfactIdon'tknowhowdi dIfor
ce
my selfi
ntohercozIr ememberhersay i
ng
STOPbutIi gnoredherandsl eptwithher
wit
houtherper mission.
Thenextmorni
ngIwokeupf eel
i
ngr emorseful
andangryatmysel
f.Andwhatscaredmei s
thatshewasnotnextt
omeIpani ckedt
hinki
ng
shel
eftme.
Ij
umpedoutofbedwhenIsawLami Isi
ghed
outofrel
i
ef.Igotdr
essedandwenttolookfor
KatbutshewasnotinthehouseandIcoul
dn't
fi
ndmycarkey ssoIpresumedshetook
Thandotoschool
.
Iwentbackt
othebedr
oom andtookawide
awakeLamifr
om hi
scotandki
ssedhim
Me:"Mor
ningboy "herubbedhiseyeswit
hhis
t
inyhands..Ichangedhisdiapert
henwentto
makehisbot t
le.Aft
eritcooldownIfedhi
m Kat
walkedi
nlookingallbeauti
fulasIal
ways.
Icouldn'
tkeepmyey
esonherthoughasIwas
ashamedofwhatIdi
dtoherl
astnight
.Shesat
downnexttome
Kat
:"
Hey
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"shel
ookeddown
PK:
"I
t'
sokay
"
Me:
"Noi
t'
snotokayKatIf
orcedmy
sel
fint
oyou
I
'm amonst
er.I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry"Tear
sfal
ldown
myface
Kat
:"
It
'sf
iner
eal
l
yyouwer
edr
unkandbr
oken"
Me:
"Thatdoesn'
tmakei
tokayt
hough"
PK:"Ssshdon'
tcryit
sokayIpromiseyou"she
wipedmyt ear
swi t
hherpalmsandkissedme.
I
'mr eall
ybl
essedtohavethi
sgirl
inmyl i
fe.
Me:"Canyoubel
i
evet
hatEdwardaccusemeof
ki
lli
ngmysist
ermyownfucki
ngsist
erandwhat
hurtmoremydadagr
eewithhi
m!"myv oi
ce
broke
Kat
:"
What
!!t
hatbul
l
shi
twhywoul
dtheysayt
hat
"
Me:"Wheny oudisappearedIt
oldherifIfound
outshei si
nvol
vediny ourdi
sappear
anceIwi l
l
ki
llher.
.Idi
dn'
tmeani tKatIwasjustsayingand
nowI '
m notevenallowedtoburymysi st
er"
Kat:
"Notheycan'
tdot
hatumsanganol
oyowhat
doesyourmom say?"
Me:
"Mom i
scr
yingnonst
op"
Kat:
"I
'mr eal
lysorrybabydon'
ttakethem
seri
oust heyarejustl
ooki
ngforsomeonet o
blamet heyknowy ouwill
neverkil
lyourown
si
ster"Irestedmyheadonhershoul derand
weptasshebr ushedmyback.
DayspassedKathav ebeenverysupportiv
eso
i
sKuhle.Withoutthem I
'
dtotal
lylosti
t.Dadand
Edwardsapologi
sedforaccusingmeofki ll
ing
mysister
.Todaywast hedaywher ewel ai
dmy
si
stertoherrest
.Myphoner angIwentoutt o
answer
Me:
"Baby
"
Kat
:"
Howar
eyouhol
dingup"
Me:
"I
'mt
ryi
nghowar
eyouguy
s"
Kat
:"
Wear ef
inebabyIwasthi
nki
ngofcoming
si
nceTbosecouldn'
tmakei
t.Lat
oyaagr
eedto
st
aywit
hLami "
Me:
"Nomyl
ovei
tsokayt
heser
viceal
ready
st
art
ed"Il
i
ed.
Kat:
"ButIwanttobet her
efory
ou"Icaughther
scentasshewr appedherarmsar
oundmy
waist.Idr
oppedKat'scal
l.
Me:
"Um baby
"It
urnedar
ound
Kuhl
e:"
Cometheservi
ceisabouttobegi
n"She
ki
ssedmycheekthentookmyhandaswe
madeourwayinsi
dethechurch.
Theservicewentwellpeoplesharedthei
rvi
ews
aboutmysi st
erthenitwastimef ormetogoin
fr
ont.Iwentinfrontofhercasketandgazedat
herpict
uretearsthr
eateni
ngmyey es.
Me:"
Uhm"Ihadalumpi
nmyt
hroatmaki
ngi
t
har
dformetosayawor
d
Kuhlesangachor
us"
That
hauqobolwami
nakhokonkeokwami
ngi
yavuma"Theyj
oined
her.
Me:"
Fir
stofal
lIwanttogreetmysi
ster
.
SawbonaDadewethu"(
Greeti
ngsmysister
)
"Andgr eetingsev eryone"Theygr eetedback.
"Youleftussosuddenl yIst i
llcan'tbeli
eveyou
aregone.Youwi llalwaysr emai ninourhear t
s
sis.Cany oudomeaf av ourpl easehauntthose
whodi dt histoy oudayandni ghtuntilt
hey
confessev ery
thing.Theydeser vet opaysis
don'tletmewal kf reewor kwi thusy oudeserve
j
ust i
ce.Thanky ousomuchf ortheper f
ectli
fe
wespentwi t
hy ou.Wewi l
lal
way sloveyouand
mi ssyou..Lalangokut hulaSot obe"(RestIn
PeaceSot obe)Iwentt omyseatnextt oKuhle
shesqueezedmyhand.
Ever
ythi
ngwentont
henwedr
ovet
othe
cemeter
y.
Icouldn'
twat
chherbei
ngl
oweredt
othegr
ound
i
tf el
tsofi
nal
.Iwentt
omycarandbur
sti
nto
tears.
Ifeltherarmsengul
fi
ngmeasherscentf
il
led
mynost ri
l
s.Icoul
dn'
tbel
iev
emyoneandonl y
si
sterisnomor ei
natwinkl
ingofaney
e.
Whoeverdi
dthi
sneedt opayIwi
l
ldowhat
ever
i
ttakest
ogetthem andwhenIdoGodhel
pme!!
.
.
ThankYou.Li
keCommentShar
e
[
06/
01,
08:
09]W:
37
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwasaboutt oexpl
aintohim buthedropped
thecallwhichleftmeunsettl
edIcall
edhim
backhi sphonerangtonoanswer .Youknow
thatfeeli
ngthatengulfyoubutyoutryyourbest
toignoreitthatwasme.
Itol
dmy sel
fheisprobabl
yinnost
ateof
answer
inghiscall
afteral
li
tshi
ssi
ster
'sf
uner
al.
Toy
a:"
Whatdi
dhesai
d?"
Me:
"Hesai
dthefuner
alhasalreadyst
art
ed"I
smi
l
edtryi
ngtohidemydisappoint
edmindyou
Iwasal
readydressedi
nabl ackhuggi
ngdr
ess
andbl
ackfluf
fyplat
for
m sandalheel
s.
Toy
a:"
Okay
"
Me:
"Yeah"Isi
ghedheav
il
y
Toy
a:"
Thenwhyar
eyousad"
Me:"
Ican'
tshakethi
sfeel
i
ngt
hathedoesn'
t
wantmetobet her
e."
Toya:"
Don'
tbesi
l
lywhywoul
dhenotwanty
ou
ther
e?"
Me:
"Maybehedoesn'
twanthi
sfami
l
ytoknow
meheisashamedofme"
Toy
a:"
JesusKatwhyar
eyoual
way
snegat
ive?
"
Me:"
I'
m notal
way
snegat
iveToy
aI'
mjust
say
ing"
Toya:
"AyPKwillt
akey outomeethisf
amil
y
whenheisreadythatgotnot
hingtobei
ng
ashamedofyou"
Me:
"Iguessy
ouar
eri
ght
..
.cany
ouunzi
pmy
dr
ess"
Toya:
"Sur
e"Sheunzi
ppedmydr essthenIwent
tomybedroom anduncl
othed.Ist
oodinfr
ont
oft
hemi r
rorandadmir
edmybody .
Havi
ngababydi dn'
tchangemybodymycur v es
ar
estil
lri
ghtt
hereandmyt ummyi ssti
l
lfl
at.I
wonderedwheredidItookal
lthesecur
vesfrom
Imeanmom wasasl enderl
i
keThando.
AnywayIwor eAdidassportbra,PK'sboxerand
fl
uffypush-
ins.Iwalkedtotheloungeandsat
betweenToy a'
sthi
ghsandr estedmyheadon
herstomach" Youreall
yneedtostopwor ry
ing"
Me:
"Ican'
thel
pit
"
Toya:
"Letwatchamov i
etokeepy
oudist
ract
ed"
Sheleanedoverandtookther
emotet
henshe
fl
i
ppedt hr
oughchannels.
Thandowasat tendi
ngamat hcl
assbyt
heway
andLami wasrighther
enexttousonhi
sli
tt
le
chai
rblabber
ing."Uhm Kat
"
Me:
"Sugarcane"
Toy
a:"
Ihav
esomet
hingt
otel
lyou?
"
Me:
"Ok-
ay"
Toy
a:"
Promi
semeonet
hing?
"
Me:
"What
?"
Toy
a:"
Youwon'
tfl
i
p"
Me:
"Iwon'
tfl
i
p"
Toy
a:"
Youswear
?"
Me:
"Ya"(
yes)
Toya:
"Luy
olopr
oposed"Il
i
ftedmyheadupf
rom
herst
omachandlookedather
Me:
"And?
"
Toya:
"Babey
ouknowthatIhav
ealwayswant
ed
st
abil
i
tyinmyli
feandwhenLuyol
ofi
nall
ygav
e
mewhatIwantIwashappy"
Wow
Me:
"Soi
not
herwor
dsy
ouaccept
edt
he
pr
oposal
?"
shenoddedl
ooki
ngdown"
Wowv
erywow"
Toy
a:"
I'
m sor
ryKat
"
Me:"
Youareapologi
singtoav erywrongper son.
YouknowwhatIhatei sthatyoupersuaded
Tboseyoumadehi mfallinl
ovewithy ouand
nowyoujustgonnaditchhimjustl
iket hat
?"
Toya:"
Inev
ermeantt ohur
thi
m KatandnowI'
m
scaredtot
ell
him Idon'
tknowwheredoIbegi
n"
Me:"
Youoneself
ishpersonIhaveeverknown
youusedmybrothernowthatyougotwhatyou
wantedyouar
eleavinghi
m!"
Toy
a:"
Katpl
easet
ryt
ounder
stand!
"
Me:"Under
standwhatToyathatyouareabout
tobreakmybr ot
her'
sheart
?Youassuredme
thatyouandLuyoloaret
hroughbutnowhei s
proposi
ngyou.TboseloveyouLatoy
a!!
"
Toya:
"Idi
dn'
tpl
ant
hingst
otur
nthi
sway
..
."Icut
herof
f
Me:"Ohy oudi
dcozIt ol
dyoutostop
entert
aini
ngtemptat
ionsbutnoyoudidn'
tli
sten
tomenowIhav etosmilet
hatyouarebreaki
ng
offwithmybr ot
herwhenyouaretheonewho
persuadedhim!!
"
Toya:
"Stopshouti
ngatmeTboseisnotev
en
yourbrotherf
orcr
yingoutl
oud!
"
Me: "That '
sitwi t
hy ou!Ev erytimewheny ouare
wr ongy our easont hingsiny ourownsel fish
waysot hattheycanf av
oury ou!Tbosemaynot
bemybr otherbybl oodbuthei smybr otherI
knowt hei mpor tanceofbui ldingrelationship
withpeopl eregar dlesstheyar enotf ami lyand
whenIdoI mv eryloy alt
othem unl ucky ou!You
areunt rustwor thy,egocent r
icand
mani pulative!"Ifeltahotcl aponmycheekmy
bloodboi l
edIj umpedonherandst r angledher
"Don' tyouev erlayy ourfi
lt
hyr ott
enhandonme
bitchIwi l
lkil
lyoudohearme! !!
"
Shenoddedv
igor
ousl
ytear
sst
reami
ng
si
dewaysashereyespoppedout
.Il
etgoofher
neckshecoughedrat
herdr
amati
cal
l
y.
Toya:
"Youal
mostkil
l
edmeKat
"shecoughed
har
derthenbef
ore
Me:
"Leavemyhousenow!"shestoodup
i
mmedi at
elyandl
eftal
mosttr
ippi
ng.
Howdar eshesl appedmenx!It ookmyphone
andasl eepingLami f
rom hisl
itt
lechai
rand
wenttothebedr oom.Il ayhim car
eful
lythen
l
aidnexttohi m beforekissi
nghisti
nylips.
Iwasbor edasfucksoIdecidedtocarr
yon
wit
hMaj ubaIcan'tgetenoughofthi
sman's
wri
ti
nggoddamn!Hei sphenomenalIsti
ll
owed
myselft
ohav eahar dcopyofDiar
yofAZul u
Gir
l.
Ihear
dsoundscomi
ngfrom ot
herroomsasI
wasaboutt
ocheckThandowalkedin.
Me:
"Ohi
t'
syou"
Thando:
"Hel
l
osi
s"
Shel
ookedsosad
Me:"
Heyyoulooksadwhat'
sthemat
ter
"she
dr
aggedher
selfandl
aidnextt
oLami
.
Thando:
"Oneoft
hoseday
syouknow"
Me:
"Uncl
othandcomeher
e"Shegotupfrom
t
hebedandunclot
hedl
eavi
ngherpant
iesonly
.
Itookoffmyspor tbr
a."
Come"shel ayont opof
meIcuddl edher.Ski
ntoskincuddl eisnotfor
l
ov ersonlyitdoesmakeonef eel bett
erand
l
ov edeveni fsheorheisnoty ourpartner.And
i
tgr owst hebondbetweent hetwoofy ou.
"Everyt
hingisgoingtobefiney ezwa"
shenoddedwi
thherhead
"Youknowwhenyoul
ookwherewecomef r
om
i
t'sbet
ter
.Nowwehaveshel
ter,
foodand
clot
hes.Wear
eli
vi
ngli
kenor
mal peopl
e"
Thando:"
Yeahtruethatall
thankstoy
ou.
Withoutyousi
sIdon'tknowwhatIwoul dbe.
Youareamot her,asist
erandfri
endIcoul
d
everaskfor.Younevergaveuponmeev en
whenIwasdi srespect
fulf
orthatIwi
l
lal
ways
l
ov eyousis"
Me:"Ncooyoumakemewantt ocrynow"Ifelt
myey esgett
ingwarm witht
ears.Herwords
touchedmebeaut i
ful
l
y."Youaremysi st
erIwi l
l
nevergiv
eupony ouslaybabe.I'
m gl
adI'
my our
sist
erandyoumakei teasytotakecar
eofy ou
thankyouforthat
"
Iranmyf i
ngert
ipsfrom hernapedowntothe
baseofherback"Ihavesomethingtot
ell
you"
Thando:
"I
'ml
i
steni
ng"
Me:"Sincey
ouknowthest or
yaboutPhuml
a'
s
husbandbeingmom'smanwedi dsomeDNA
testandwef i
ndout
..
."shecutmeoff
Thando:
"Hei
syourf
ather
?"shewhi
sper
ed
Me:"
Nohei syourf
ather
"Shel
i
ftedupherhead
andlookedatme
Thando:
"Real
l
y?"
Me:
"Yes"
Thando:"
Wow"af ai
ntsmil
ecreptonherf
ace
buti
tvani
shedsecondslat
er.
Me:
"Youdon'
tlookhappyy
ouhav
ebeendy
ing
t
omeetyourfather
"
Thando:
"Notwhenyouhaven'
tfoundyour
s.I
wantustobebothhappysisKat"sher
ested
herheadonmychest
Me:
"I
'm happyy
ouf
oundy
our
sbabyIwanty
ou
t
obehappy "
Thando:
"Yousur
eaboutt
hat
?"
Me:"Iwil
lnev erdenyyouthi
sopport
uni
tyto
meety ourfathersweethear
tsodon'
tst
ress
aboutanything"
Thando:
"Okay
..
wowsoIhav
eaf
ather
"
Me:
"Yeahbaby
!"
Thando:
"ThanksGodPhumlai
sdeadshewoul
d
havemademyl if
eapaini
ntheass"
Me:
"Tr
uet
hat
"
Thando:
"Sowhenar
ewemeet
inghi
m"
Me:
"Letgi
vehi
mfewday
s"
Thando:
"Whati
fhedenyme?
"
Me:
"Hehav
etodot
het
estphel
a"
Thando:
"Nowmyappet
it
eisback"
Me:
"Let
'
sgomakesomet
hingI
'
m al
sohungr
y"
Wegotof ff
rom bedandgotdressedthenwe
wentt
othekitchen.wegather
edevery
thingI
wascrav
ingforgr easyy
ummyf ood.
SheplayedAmaBlesserbyDJMaphor
isaon
herphoneIscr
eamed.
Thando:
"Ha.
aubef
esi
snonono"Il
aughed
Me:
"Fuseg!
"Ihi
therpl
ayf
ulshegi
ggl
ed.
Westart
edsingi
ngt
oget
hert
hesongwasour
f
avouri
teatt
hemomentaswemadefood
♪ ♪ ♪ Uy
azi
ukut
handaumunt
u
Uv
eleugcwal
engay
e
Uv
eleubonei
str
aight
Uv
eleuboneumshado
Ngi
shoumawey
ngane
I
mpi
l
oyakhoy
onkei
phel
elewenamawunay
e
Kant
iyenauf
unaukuhamba
Uf
unaukubonaabany
e
Mi
naangi
zat
hingi
thi
ni
Angi
sazi
ngi
thi
ningay
e
Akphi
l
eki
ngaphandl
ekwakho
Naweuy
azi
sthandwasam y
eeh
Ngobaut
henaakasangi
thandi
Ucel
angi
myeke
Uhambi
l
eu-
mybaby
Uhambi
l
eu-
mybaby
Uhambanamabl
esser
Uhambanamabl
esseroohohhhohhoh
Bengi
nent
ombi
mnai
ntombi
mna
Bengi
nent
ombi
mnai
ntombi
mna
Kodwawakhet
haukungshi
ya,
ukungshi
ya
Ul
ovi
ewami
uhambnamabl
esser
Uhambanamabl
esser
Wat
hat
haumunt
uwami
Wat
hat
hai
sit
handwasami
Wahambanomaungahamba
Uzongkhumbul
aahhahhahhahhahh
Ul
ovi
ewami
uhambanamabl
esser
Uhambanamabl
esser
I
hambi
l
eint
ombi
kamj
i
taai
ulov
a
Ushoi
nfr
ontofphambkwabant
uwat
hii
tov
er
yi
ii
hyi
i
h
Mi
nangi
nget
wai
weeh
Mi
naangnal
uthomi
na
Mani
ngi
that
hel
ayena
Ni
thi
ngenzenj
ani
Mangi
ngi
that
hel
ayena
Ni
thi
ngi
thandebani
♪♪♪
Me:
"Musaukl
abal
asa"shesl
appedt
hebackof
myheadIgr
oaned.
Itooktheeggandt hr
owitonherithi
ther
makingthat"phi
hli
"soundthej
uicemessedher
faceshefrownedandscreamed
Thando:
"Euwwww!
"
Icackl
edshet
ookt
heeggandhi
tmeIducked
shegr oanedasIgi
ggl
edandhitherwi
th
anothereggitmi
ssedherandl
andedonPK's
face"Ooops"ThandoandIbursti
ntol
aught
er
PK:"Yougi
rl
sar
ecrazy
"Iwal
kedtohi
m and
wipedhisf
acewit
hadishcl
oth.
Me:
"Aski
esbaby
"
PK:
"I
t'
sokay
"
Me:
"Howwast
hef
uner
al"
PK:
"Wel
lIguess"
Me:
"Imi
ssedy
ousomuch"hehav
ebeent
her
e
f
or3days.
PK:"Imissyoutoo"Hegr abbedmybut tandwe
ki
ssedasweetscentofaf emalefi
ll
edmynose
Icouldn'
thelpbutbrokethekiss.Myheart
fl
inchedpainful
l
ybutIconsol emyself:
Hewas
hugginghisaunts,
cousinswhoev erfamil
y
member s"
Iwasstil
lenjoyi
ngt hat
"Hepulled
met ohimselfandkissedme.
Thando:
"Pi
ckherupandgotothebedroom
al
ready!
"Webroketheki
ssandgiggl
ed.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Tof
indoutt
hatPhuml
a'
shusbandi
smyf
ather
l
eftmeanxiousIcoul
dnthel
pthequest
ions
t
hatwer
er eeli
ngonmymi nd.
Doesheknowaboutme?I fhedoeswhyhe
neverbot
heredaboutme?Whatifhedenyme?
Howwi l
lItakei
nthatpai
naft
erl
ongingtomeet
hi
m andhav eabondwithhi
m.
Mysistertol
dButi
PKandhewasshockedbut
hesaidIreal
lyl
ookli
kehim hedoesntknow
howdidhemi ssal
lofthat
.
Sohetal
kedt ohi
m andaskedhi
mtomeetus
andheagreed.
Todaywasthebi
gdayitwaswednsdayt
he
fol
l
owingweekaft
ert
hefuner
al.
Iwasanxi
ousIwasev
ensweat
ingmi
ndy
oui
t
wasacoolday
Pr
ee:
"Thando!
"Shey
ell
ed
Me:
"What
?"
Pr
ee:
"Youar
epr
eoccupi
edt
odaywhati
swr
ong"
Wewereint
hecl
assr
oom i
twast
hel
astf
ree
per
iod.
Thet
imeseemedt
obespeedi
ngatt
hesame
ti
medraggi
ng.
IdontknowifImakesensey ouknowt hat
feel
i
ngwheny oucantwaitforsomethingto
happenatthesameti
mey ouarescaredfori
tto
happen.
Thatwhatwashappeni
ngt
ome.
KB:
"Hel
ooo!
"shewavedheri
nmyf
aceIsi
ghed
andl
ookedatt
hem bot
h
Me:
"I
m goingt
omeetmyf
atherf
ort
hef
ir
st
t
imetoday
"
Pr
ee:
"Dontbescar
edt
hingswi
l
lwor
kout.
"
Me:
"Whati
fhedoesntl
i
keme?
"
KB:
"Gir
lyouworr
yingtoomuchjustt
akeadeep
br
eathandrel
axev er
ythi
ngwi
l
lbeayoba"
Shebr
ushedmyhandIf
orcedasmi
l
e
Pr
ee:
"Wi
pet
hesweat
"Shegav
emet
hewi
pe.
Me:"Letmegoandwashmyf acecanIhave
yourcase"Preel
oveshersel
ftoomuchshe
haveacasewher esheputhermakeup, combs,
mirr
orandlipbal
ms.Shet akeitwit
hher
ever
y wher
eshegoev enwhenshegot ochurch.
Youwil
lfi
ndhert
it
ivat
ingher
sel
fev
erynow
andt
hen.
Pree:
"Sur
e"shet
ooki
tfr
om herbagandgav
eit
tome.
Me:"
Thankyou"Ist
oodupandfixedmyski
rtas
i
tli
ketogoupwhenI m seat
edt
henmademy
wayout.
Iwentt
othel
adiesanddi
dnumberonef
ir
st
shi
ii
i
tIj
ustst
art
edmyperiod
Iknewsomet i
menextweekIwi l
lhavemy
peri
odsasIhadsignsbuttheydeci
dedtost
art
todayIguessi
tsbecauseofthestr
ess.
LuckyIhadpant
yli
neronsoIt
ookPr
ee'
spad
ont
hecaseandusedi
t.
Iwashedmyhandsandfaceandfreshenup
myself
.WhenIf
ini
shedIheadedbacktothe
cl
assroom
Me:"
Thanky ousweety
"Igav
eherthecase"
I
usedyourpadremindmetorepl
aceit
tomorr
ow"
Pr
ee:
"Dontwor
ryaboutt
hat
"
Thebellwentoffwetookourbackpacksand
walkedout.Ifel
tsomeonegrappi
ngmyar m
wit
hmoi stpal
ms
It
urnedwi
thanangr
ylookpl
ast
eredonmyf
ace
Me:"Lubanziwhatt
hefuckareyoutouchi
ngme
forwithyoursweat
ypalms!"Iy
ankedoffmy
handhel ookedatmethroughhi
sglasses
Lubanzi
:"
M..
m..mr.
.mrs.
..
Mo..mok..
."Ilookedat
hi
st r
embli
nghandthatwascaryingmy
Acounti
ngbook.Igroanedinfustr
ationguys
uyangfr
asaloboyyerr
r.Fi
rstheisnol ooker
secondhei
saner
dlastbutnotl
easthei
sa
stammer
Me:"
M..m..
m..m..
mm. .dammitmaanMr s
MokoenasaidImustgiveyouyourexci
sebook
whathardtosaythathuh!
"Isnat
chedmybook
andlef
thimtherelooki
ngmorethananidi
othe
i
s
Pr
ee:
"Thatwasv
eryr
udeTee"
Me:
"Heannoy
smet
othecor
e!"
KB:
"It
hinky
ouhavefeel
i
ngsf
ort
heboybuty
ou
ar
ebli
ndedbyhi
slooks"
Me:"
That'
snonsenseIcantev
eni
magi
nei
tsso
di
sgust
ing!
"
Pree:"
Wav uthakangakayi
ni"
(whyarey
ou
boil
ing)Theybothlookedatmewi t
hgoofsmi
l
e
ontheirfaces
Me:
"Mx
mletmej
ustl
eav
eyout
wo!
!"
It
ookataxit
ohome.Ifoundbuti
andsisKat
ki
ssi
ngsensel
essl
yint
helounge"Dontmake
l
ovei
nfr
ontofmynephewplease!"Theybr
oke
t
heki
ssandlookedatmel
aughing.
Iwentt
omybedr oom andt
hrewmybagont he
bedIst
ri
ppednakedandwenttotakeaqui
ck
bat
h.
Ifi
nishedevery
thngandsli
ppedi
ntohi
ghwaist
ski
nnyj ean,
redbatspor
tbraandwhi
teal
lst
ar.
Mytwi
stwasti
edi
ntoapontyt
ail
.Ispr
ayed
someper
fumeandheadedt
othelounge.
Me:
"Si
scanIhav
epppi
l
ls"
Si
sKat
:"
Hel
l
otoy
out
ooThando"
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Hel
l
osi
sandbr
o"
Them:
"HeyThando"
Si
sKat
:"
Theyar
einmydr
awer
"
Iheadedtoherbedr
oom andopenedt he
drawer.Somedocumentst hathadournames
i
nt her
ecaughtmyattent
ion.It
ookthem out
andr
eadt
hem
Myey eswater
ed,howthought
fulofsi
sKatfor
thinki
ngofhowwillbet
akencareofwhenshe
dies.WhenIsayusImeanme, ButiPKand
Lami .
Isntshetooyoungtobethisr
esponsi bl
e
thoughyazthethi
ngsshedoaret ooheav yfot
herageIwishsomeonecanoffloadt heweight
onhershoulder
sbutlethopemyf atherwill
.
Iputthem backandwipedmytearsbefor
e
taki
ngthepill
s.Iwentt
otheki
tchenandpoured
aglassofwat ert
hendownthepil
lwit
hwat er
.
Me:"
Wecango"Isai
dwhenwal
kedi
nthe
l
ounge
Si
sKat
:"
Younotgonnaeat
?"
Me:
"Idonthav
eapet
it
e"
Weal l
wentoutandgoti
nthecart
henbuti
PK
droveoff
.Myheartwaspoundi
ngagai
nstmy
chest.
If
eltSi
sKatwarmfinger
sint
ert
wini
ngwi
th
mineIl
ookedather
Si
sKat
:"
Rel
axandbr
eat
h"Idi
dasshesai
d.
Wegott ot
hisbeati
ful
mansion.Hemustbe
hel
lari
chtoownsuchapalace.Thegat
e
openedaft
erbutipr
essedt
heinter
com.
Wedr
ovei
nthenpul
l
edof
fint
hey
ard.
West
eppedoutoft
hecarandmadeourwayi
n.
Ibr
eat
hinandoutt
ryi
ngt
ocal
m my
sel
fbuti
t
wasnotwor
king
"
Heisi
nthesi
tt
ingr
oom"sai
dthehel
perand
l
edust
othesi
tti
ngroom.
Thehouselookedmorebeaufuli
nsi
dei
tmust
havecosthi
m anarm andaleg
But
iPK:
"Sbal
i
"
Him:"Ohsbal
i"hestoodupfrom t
hecouchsnd
theyshookhands.Allt
hist
imeIwaslookingat
him wit
hmymout hwi deopenwowallIcould
seewasanol
dermal
ever
sionofme.
ButiPK:
"Thi
sisKatandLami
thenher
eit
s
Thando"
Hi
m:"
Howar
eyouguy
s"
Us:
"Wear
efi
net
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
Youcansi
tdown"Wesatdown
Buti
PK:"
Thankyouformaki
ngt
imef
orusI
knowyouareabusyman"
Him:"
Noproblem sbal
i
"Thehelperwalkedi
n
wit
hat r
ayfi
l
ledwi t
hglassesofj
uiceandpl
ates
ofbi
scuts
"
Thanky
ouMar
y"
Mar
y:"
Nopr
obl
em MrSi
biy
a"
But
iPK:
"ThanksMar
y"Mar
ydi
sapear
ed
"Iwontbeataboutthebushsbal
ither
easonwe
areherewewantt oknowaboutMakhosazana
Mhlongo"Hisfacetensedi
mmediatel
y
Hi
m:"
Whatabouther
?"
PK:
"Wewanttoknowwher
edi
dshe
di
sappear
edt
o?"
Hi
m:"Howwill
Iknowwher
eist
hat
manupul
ati
vewhore!
!"
ButiPK:"Cal
m downtheresnoneedt oshout.
Thegi r
lswanttoknowwher eisthei
rmorther
andy ouhappenedtobet heonewhomi ghttel
l
ussincey outwoweretogetherandyousharea
chi
ld"hepoi nt
edatme
Him:
"Whaaat?achi
ldwhatchil
d?Makhosazana
andIdonthaveachi
ldt
ogether!
!"
Myhear
tbr
okei
nmi
l
loi
npi
eces
But
iPK:
"Lookathersbal
ishei
syourdaught
er"
Hel
ookedatmewi t
hraget
hatsentchi
l
lsdown
myspi
neIlookeddown
Hi
m:"
Hei
snotmydaught
er!
"
Si
sKat
:"
PleasedoaDNAf
orpr
oof
"
Hi
m:"
Heyheyy
ouknowwhatgetoutofmy
house!
"
ButiPK:
"Sbal
ipleaseall
weaski saDNAt
est
thenyouwill
takeitfr
om ther
e."
Him:"
IwontdoanyDNAt
estshei
snotmy
daugt
erdammit!
"
But
iPK:
"Sbal
i
.."
Him:
"Iminf
erti
l
eIcanthavechi
ldrengogogo
now!
"West oodupandmadeourwayout .I
coul
dnthel
pedmy sel
fbutbur
stintotear
swhen
wegottothecar.
SisKat
:"Im sorrysissomethingisnotaddi
ng
uphereheisr eall
yy ourf
ather"shesai
d
comfort
ingme.
ButiPK:
"Andshel
ookl
ikehi
mlet
'sgi
vehi
ma
chancetodi
gestt
henews"
Me:"Idontwanthi
m anymor
eIcantdeal
wit
h
r
ejecti
onitstoopai
nful
"
Si
sKat:
"OhbabeI m sorr
ybutwewil
lgett
oa
bot
tom oft
his"shekissedmyhead
Me: "
NoSi sImfi
newithouthim hedoesntwant
mei tsokaywecantforcehim"Isobbed
painful
lymyheartwasachingt hepainwastoo
much.Idontknowwhathur tmorebet weenthe
factthathedenymeort hefactthathecouldbe
notmyf at
hersi
nceheisininfert
il
e.Iknew
somet hi
ngl i
ket
hiscoul
dhappenbuti t
ssti
ll
hurtdeep.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
"Gi
vetheguyachancewhyar ey ouhardcor
e
Konke"Me:"
NoPhi l
i
leI
'm donewi t
hhim"Ina
havebeenanuisancehecallandsendsmses
ever
day,every
whereIgohei sthere
apol
ogisi
ng.
Irememberthi
sotherdayIwashav i
ngl unch
withmycousini
nar est
auranthestoodona
tabl
eandsangformesay i
nghowsor r
yhei s
butIcoul
dn'
tfor
givehim al
thoughIthi
nkwhat
hedi
dwassweet
.
I
'
mtir
edofmantakingadvant
ageofmei
thas
t
oendnowI'
m notabally
ouknow.
Phil
z:
"Whatmoredoyouwanttheboyhad
showny ouhowmuchheissor
ryhowmuchhe
l
ovey ou.
"
Me:
"Idon'
tcar
e"
Phil
z:
"Unenhli
zi
yoyet
sheKonke!Iwi
l
lgoopen
thedoorforhi
mi t
sfr
eezi
ng!
!"
Me:"
Itol
dhim hemuststopcomingher
ebut
nahhedoesn'
tli
stenIdon'
tcar
eifhedi
eoutof
col
d"
Shewenttoopenthedoorf
orhi
m myhear
t
ski
ppedabitwhenIsawhimlyi
ngont
he
doorst
epshi
veri
ng
Ir
ant
ohi
m andkneel
edi
nfr
ontofhi
m
Me:
"Baby"Ihel
dhi
sshi
ver
ingi
cecol
dbodyi
n
myarms
Ina:
"I'
m..
so..
sor
ry"hisvoi
cewast r
emblinghe
couldn'
tspeakhi
st eet
hclenchedtoget
her.
Me:"I'
m sorr
ybabyI '
mr eal
lysorr
y"Ohmygod
whathav eIdonetearsf al
lonmyf ace"Open
youreyesplease..
Callthedamnambul ance
don'
tjuststandthere!
!"IshoutedPhil
lewhojust
fr
ozenj e"Mylovestaywi t
hmepl ease"Ishook
him buthedidn'
topenhi seyesnorstir
redoh
Godwhathav eIdone
.
.
♡Im sor
rybabi
eshadalongdayt
odayI
'
m sooo
t
ir
edGoodNi ghtToYouAll
♡
[
06/
01,
08:
10]W:
38
KUHLEKONKE
•
I
tsonlythenIreal
i
zedhowdeepl
yi nlov
eIam
wit
hInat het
houghtofl
osi
nghim kil
l
edmeto
t
hecor e.
Myhear tissti
llbl
eedingforthel
ossofmy
parentsItcannottakeanotherpai
noflosi
ngt
he
specialone.
Iwasgoingcr azyeachpassi ngsecondIdi
dn't
knowwhatt odoorwhot ocallcoztheonl
y
personIcall
whenI minneedofcomf or
torhel
p
i
tsmydadandsi ncehei sagainstmy
rel
ati
onshipwi t
hI naIcouldn'
tcallhi
m.Isaton
thecouchbiti
ngmynai lsfuri
ously
Damnt heyweretaki
ngsolongImusthav e
wait
edt her
efor3hoursunti
lthedoct
orcame
andinf
or medmeabouthisconditi
onthanhe
l
edmet ohiswar
d.
ThemomentIwalkedinoureyesmetmyhear
t
dancedabitasmil
eautomati
cal
lycr
eptonmy
facebutwassoonerasedwi
thanger
.
Iwalkedtowardshi
m spi
tt
ingf
ir
eIwant
edt
o
beatthehell
outofhim.
Me:"
Howcouldyoubesoself
ishhuh!!Ar
ey ou
cr
azyInamandl
afr
eezi
ngyoursel
fli
kethat!
!!
Whodoest hat
? ?Icouldhavelosty oubast ard!
!
WhatIwasgoi ngtosayt oyourfami lyhuh? ?
HowIwoul dhav eli
vewithmy selfknowi ngIm
thereasonbehi ndyourdeathy oumor on!!
"I
wasshakinguncont r
oll
ablet
ear sstreami ng
downmyf ace."Howcoul dyoudot histome
whenIsawy oul yi
ngthereIwassoscar edyou
wil
ldieonme"Ibr okedown
I
na:"Comeher e"Hemadeaspacef ormetol
ie
nexttohim butIwastooupset"
I'
m beggi
ng
you"Itookoffmysleeper
sandcli
mbednextto
him.
Hewrappedhisarmsar oundmeandembr aced
meohhowIhav emi ssedthis."I
'
m sor
ryt
obe
sel
fi
shokayI'
m sorr
yf orscari
ngyoubutI
rat
herdi
ethanbewithouty ou"
Me:
"That'
ssel
fishdoyout hi
nkhowwi l
li
tmake
mefeeli
fyoudie?Whatabouty ourf
amily
?
WhataboutSbonga?"Isobbed
I
na:
"I
'm goodasdeadwi
thouty
ouKuhl
ekonke
l
ivingthisli
fewithoutyouit'ssuffocatingmet o
death.Youar etheairthatIbreathwi thoutyou
theresnol i
fe.Deathisbetterthenlli
vingt hi
s
soulless,i
ncompl et
e,gloomyl i
fe.IfIcan'thave
youbackIwi l
lfr
eezmy sel
ftodeat hagai n"I
l
iftedmyheadupf r
om hischestandl ookedat
him
Me:
"Yousuchacr
azybast
ard!
"
I
na:
"I
'm acr
azybast
ardwhoi
smadl
yinl
ove
wi
thyou"
Me:"
Youal
mostdieandl
eftme
Nkosi
namandl
a!"
Hi
sli
pscur
vedsweet
ly
I
na:
"Soy
oudon'
twantmet
oleav
eyou?
"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
"
Hechuckl
ed
I
na:
"Youshoul
dhav
elef
tmedi
eke"
Me:
"Yazy
angi
nyany
isacozy
out
aket
his
l
i
ght
ly!
"(y
ouar
eannoy
ingme)
Ina:
"Ilovehowyourlowerli
pshiverwhenyou
areangr yitmakemewannaki sstheangri
ness
outofy ou"Hesmashedhislipsonmi neonthat
verymomentandki ssedthedayli
ghtoutofme
asof tmoanescapedinmymout h.
Hebrokeitandlookedatmeint
heey
es"
Are
yousti
l
langrywecangoonwhoknowswhere
i
tmightledusto"hesmirked
Me:
"I
'm superangr
y"Asmi
l
epl
ast
eredonmy
f
acebetrayedmywords
I
na:"
Damnyouaremylove"HepokedmynoseI
gi
ggled"
Imi
ssthatt
it
ter
ing"
Me:
"Whydi
dyoukeptt
hosepi
cs"
I
na:
"Theyaresobeaut
if
ul,
outoft
hisworl
d.The
waytheydi
splayy
ourbodyandev
eryt
hingison
poi
nt"
Me:
"Youar
esomet
hingel
sey
az"
I
na:
"Iwi
l
ltaket
hatasacompl
ement
"Hewi
nked
Me:
"Pr
omi
semeonet
hingbaby
?"
I
na:
"BabymmhIli
kethesoundoft
hat
"Ihi
thi
m
onhi
schesthegi
ggl
ed
Me:
"I
na!
"
I
na:
"I
'ml
i
steni
ngshubur
ub"
Me:"Youwil
lnev
erev
erputy
ourl
i
featr
isk
becauseofme"
Ina:
"ChaI
'm sorr
ymyl ov
eIcan'
tpromisey
ou
that
.Youknowi fsomeonecanwalkinnowand
shootyouIwill
takethebul
l
etfory
ou"
Hi
shonest
y!mxm y
azi
nIl
ovehi
m
Me:"
Igi
veup"Hel
aughedIr
est
edmyheadon
hi
schest
I
na:
"Howi
smyson"
Me:
"Hemi
ssy
ou"
I
na:
"Imi
sshi
mtoo"
Me:"
Hehav
en'
tbeenhi
mselft
hesedaysItook
hi
mt ot
hedoct
orbuthesai
dther
e'snot
hing
wr
ongwi
thhi
mit
squi
tst
range"
Hesai
dnothingmakingmet oli
ftmyheadup
andl
ookathim"Ok-aythatapartyousay
somet
hing"
I
na:
"Tel
lyousomet
hingy
our
eal
l
yknow"
Me:
"Knowwhat
?"
I
na:
"Theboyneedt
hei
mbel
ekocer
emonyhe
wi
ll
bealri
ght
"
Me:"
Ohherewegoagai
n"Idr
oppedmyheadon
hi
schest
I
na:"Bei
ngstubbornwon'thel
pyouKuhlekonke.
Yourstubbor
nesswi l
lmakeoursonli
einthis
hospit
albedisthatwhatyouwant!
"
Me:
"Howcany
ouaskt
hatofcour
senot
!"
Ina:
"Iwon'
tletyouputourson'
sheal
thi
ntor
isk
whenI '
m outofher
ewear egoingt
odri
veto
eNquthuandhav ethatcer
emonydoyouhear
me? "
Okaythatwasmyfir
stti
met ohearhim speak
l
ikethatt
omeandhi svoi
cecarri
edsomuch
author
it
yIcoul
dn'
thelpbutnod"Ican'
thear
you"
Me:
"Yesbaby
"
I
na:
"Yeswhat
?"
Me:"
Whent heydi
schargeyouwear
egoi
ngt
o
eNquthuf
orSbonga'sceremony
"
Ina:
"Yourstubbor nessdri
vemecr azyKonkeI'
m
sogoingt opunishy oubeli
evemey ouwi
llwal
k
l
ikeapengui ntheent ir
eyear"Lor
dknowsIhav e
beeny earni
nghim butaf t
erwhathesaidIcould
feelmy sel
fburningdownt hereal
ready.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
I
tbrokemyheartl
ist
eni
ngtomysi
ster'
sheart
wrenchi
ngsobsandwhathur
tmor
ei sthatI
don'
tknowhowcanIhelpher
.
I
'mjustconf
usedhowcanhebei
nfer
ti
lewhil
e
Thandoishi
sdupl
icat
eandt
heDNAconfir
med
i
t.
Imfai
li
ngtounder
standormay
behei
sscar
ed
ofr
esponsi
bil
i
tysi
gh!
"Sshhi
t'
sgoingtobeokay"Ibrushedherback
asshewaslyingontopofme.Wewer eat
homenowi nherbedroom andshehavebeen
cryi
ngsi
ncewegotoutoft hatbeati
ful
lhouse.
Thando:
"Ihat
ehi
m si
s"
Me:
"Don'
tsayt
hatThando"
Thando:
"Hedeni
edmesi si
nf r
ontofmeIdon'
t
wanttoseehi
m everagai
n!"
WellIunderst
andwher eshei
scomi
ngf
rom
suchreject
ionispai
nful.
Thando:"I
'
m cont
entwit
hy oualoneyouaremy
fat
herhecangot ohel
lforall
Icare"Isi
ghed"I
sawt hedocumentsi
nyourdrawerwhyar eyou
i
ncludingbuti
PKImeanhewon' tneedt
hat
money
"
Me:
"IknowbutIwantt
o"
Thando:
"Youl
ovehi
m neh"Ismi
l
ed
Me:
"Hei
smywor l
d"Shepi
nchedmeIgi
ggl
ed
"
Ofcour
sebef
oreyouandLami"
Ihummedherasongunt i
lIhear
dhersnori
ng
l
ight
ly.Igent
lylayheronthebedandcovered
herwit
hherblanketthensl
idoutofbed.
Ikissedherfor
eheadandwalkedout.Iwentto
thekitchenandpour
edmy sel
faglassofmi l
k
andgul pedi
tdowntocalm downmy self
.He
snakehi sar
msaroundmywai standkissedthe
sideofmyhead.
PK:
"Don'
tst
ressIwi
l
ltal
ktohi
m"
Me:"
Thandoishurtandit
shurttoseeherli
ke
t
hat"Ipl
acedtheglassonthecounterand
t
urnedaround.
Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhi
sneck."NowI
'
m
evenscaredt
olookf
ormyownifitcomeswit
h
suchr
eject
ion.Youar
emyDaddyangi
thi
"
Hesmi
l
ed
PK:"
Ohy esbabyandIint
endtot
akecar
eofyou
andtreaty
oulikeapr
incessy
ouare"Heki
ssed
mynose
Me:"Pleasehol
dmeandnev erl
etmego,nev
er
giveuponmepl ease"Iwhisper
edIwasgett
ing
emot i
onalIdon'
tknowwhyormay bethe
thoughtoflosi
nghi m ki
l
ledme.
PK:"
Iwon'
tl
ety
ougoandIwon'
tgi
veupony
ou
ever
"
Hehol
dmef
ordearl
i
fe
Me:"
Youneedtorel
ocat
enowspendingdays
wit
houtyoui
skil
l
ingmeinsi
de.Iwanttocome
backfr
om workt
omymanandmyki ds.
PK:
"AwkodwaKaty
ousuchasur
pri
sespoi
l
er!
"
Il
aughed
Me:
"OhI
'
m sor
ryIwi
l
lpr
etendasi
fI'
m
surpri
sed"HepoutedIki
ssedhisli
ps"
Let'
s
orderintodayIdon'
thav
estrengt
htocook"
PK:"
Noprobl
em st
handwasami "Hepi
ckedme
upwewenttotheloungewherewecuddledon
thesof
ahemadehi sordert
henwewat chTV
Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngt hewetkissesonmy
neckmadememoani nmysl eep.Heplanted
ki
ssesonmybr eastandsqueezedt hem.I
coul
dn'tst
ayasleepany morehesuckmyni ppl
e
whil
epinchingt
heot herone.Damni tf
eltgood
butIhadtostophim
Me:
"Babyt
hat
'sLami
'
sfood"
PK:"Mmh"Hemoanedt rai
lingkissesonmy
stomachgoi ngdownunt ilIfelthi
m downt here.
Hef l
ippedmeandputpi ll
owundermyt ummy .I
fel
thist oungediggingonmeImoanedl oudly
squeezingt heblanketsheat emesogoodI
l
ostmy self,
heattookov ermybodyIshudder ed
withpleasureandIcamesohar d.Hegoton
mybackandent eredhimsel fIgasped"Damn
youaresowar
m"Het
hrust
edsl
owergr
owi
ng
hispace.
Me:
"ohf
uck!
"
Hewentdeeperandf ast
ert
hemoansof
pleasurefi
ll
edourroom.Heturnedusasi
de
hitt
ingitonthesi
dewhi l
eheheldupmylegi
n
theair.
Hebangedmehardercausi
ngmi
ndbl
owi
ng
sensat
ionuponor
gasms
PK:"
Ohf uckmyKitKat
!!
"Hegrowl
edasIgur
gle
hi
spraisesingrat
it
ude.Wecameatonce
pant
ing"Ilovey
ousomuch"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
PK:"
Ican'tl
osey
ouKatIcan'
tpl
easepr
omi
set
o
st
ickwithmenomatterwhat
"
Me: "
Ipromi
sebaby"Wefal
li
ntosl
umbermind
youhewasst il
li
nsi
deofme.Iwaswokenupby
hisringi
ngphone.I
twasamessagecomi
ng
through.
Igazedatt
hescr
eent
empt
edt
oopent
he
message.
Nonodon'tdothatKatmyinnerv
oice
repri
mandedme.Alit
tl
epeekwon'thur
tthough
Iviewedi
tjustt
henhewokeup
PK:"MaBhebhe"heyawnedandl
ookedatme
"Katyouweregoingthr
oughmyphone?"
Me:"
Nobabyi t
swasr i
ngingIt
sansms"Igav e
hi
mt hephone.Hetookitandlookedati
tthen
smil
ed"Whoist aki
ngmyj obnow"
PK:
"Jobwhatj
ob?
"hel
ookedatme
Me:
"Maki
ngy
ousmi
l
eli
ket
hat
"
PK:
"Ohi
t'
sthePI
"
Me:"
Areyoutel
li
ngmeanothermani
smaki
ng
yousmil
eli
kethat"Hegi
ggl
ed
PK:
"Ofcour
senotbaby
"
Me:"
Letmeseewhatishesayi
ngthatmake
yousmil
eli
keI
'm ki
ssi
ngyourbal
l
s"
PK:
"Na.
ahbaby
.Ihav
etogetgoi
ngI
'
m meet
ing
hi
minanhour"
Me:
"Shoul
dbeIwor
ri
ed"
PK:
"Wor
ri
edf
orwhatbaby
?"
Me:"ThatIhaveacompet i
ti
onwor seamal e
JesushowcanIcompet ewiththatwherecanI
getthedick?"Heburstint
olaughterandIwas
seri
ousatt hatmoment.Il
ookedathiml augh
unti
lhestopped
PK:"
Worrynotmyl
ove"Heki
ssedmyf
orehead
androl
l
edoutofbed
Me:"
Whydon'ty
oul
ett
hepol
i
cet
akecar
eof
ev
erythi
ng"
PK:
"Policear
enotdoingenough.Iwanttof
ind
mysisterski
ll
ersasi
ny ester
day"He
di
sappearedtothebathroom Dammitwhycant
heleti
tgomaan! !
•
NARRATED
•
ItwascleartoMrMngomezul uthathi
sson
doesn'
twantt obreakupwit
hhisnewgi r
l,she
i
st ot
all
ydriv
inghim cr
azywhichmakehim
wonderwhatki ndofspel
ldi
dsheuseonhi s
son.
Hefearedtheri
ftthatcoul
dt ranspi
rebetween
him andhisf
ri
endi fhecanfindoutt hathisson
i
scheat i
ngonhispr i
ncessbutwhathef eared
themostistoloseallthebusinesses.Hehadt o
comeoutwi t
hapl anfastandsoqui ckly.
MrMngomezul
u:"JustdoasIsayt
hatwhatI
m
pay
ingy
oufor!
!"
Nkanyamba: "
Ifyougonnakeepthatt
oneI
suggestyouleaveMngomezul u"Hesai
dso
cal
mlyy etsoboldlooki
ngstrai
ghti
ntoMr
Mngomezul u'
sey eswhoshif
teduncomfor
tabl
e
ontheanimal skinhewasseatedon.
I
tsnoli
ethathei
sscaredofNkanyambawho
woul
dn'
tfearapower
fulwit
chdoct
or.
MrMngomez ul
u:"
Ayi
dlei
zi
shi
yel
eNkanyamba
yobe"(
Iapol
ogi
seNkanyambaI'
mverysor
ry)
Nkany amba:"
Whydoy ouwantt oendthepoor
gir
l'
slifeIcanworkonmymi raclesand
separatethem andt
hatti
meshewi l
lbe
smelli
ngl i
keaskunktoyourson"
MrMngomezul
u:"
NoIwantcer
tai
ntyndoda
yamadodaj
ustendherl
i
fe"
Nkanyamba:
"Ar
eyousur
eaf
tert
hist
her
e'sno
t
urni
ngback"
MrMngomez
ulu:
"Doi
t"
Nkanyamba:
"Her
ewr
it
ehernameont
hispi
ece
ofpaper
"
Hegav
ehi
mthepi
eceofpaperandapen.
MrMngomez ul
uwr ot
edownt henameand
gavebackNkany ambathepaper.Nkanyamba
tookthepaperandsmeareditwithredsti
cky
smellymutit
hatmadeMrMngomezul ucov er
ed
hisnose.
Ashesmeart hemut ihekeptsayinggibberi
sh
wordsthatonlyhim coul
dunderstandwi t
hin
secondsKhethokuhlefel
tsharppainsallover
herbodyandwi ncedinpain.Hersist
erlooked
atherconcer
ned
Thando:
"Whati
sitsi
s"
Kat:
"Mybodyuhhh"SheputLami
onhi
sli
ttl
e
chai
rwhowasst i
l
lenjoy
inghi
smama'
sbreast
milk
"Ouuh"shegroanedinpainanddr oppedonthe
fl
oor.Thandopanickedandattendedhersist
er
whowasgr oaningshefeltl
i
kesomeonewas
stabbi
ngherbodywi thaspearcountlesst
imes.
Thando: "Siswhatiswr ong"shewascryi
ng
al
r eadyasshehel dhersi steri
nherar
mswho
startedv omit
ingblood,stickybl
ackbl
ood."
Oh
mygoodness"Shest oodupandwentt ofetch
wat er"Drinkwatersi
s"Katwasi nt
oomuch
painbloodcomi ngoutfrom hernose,
earseven
downt here.
Kat
:"
Ca.
.ca.
.cal
lP.
..
P..
K"Shegur
gle
Thandotookherphoneandcal
l
edPKbuthi
s
phonerangtonoanswer.
Thando:
"Heisnotansweri
nghi
sphone"She
cri
ed"Pl
easedon'tdi
eonmeplease"she
sobbedhol
dinghersist
eri
nherar
ms
Kat:"
P..
P..
K"Thatal
lshemanaget
osayaf
ter
thatkwanyaa!
Thando:
"Si
s!Kat
!Wakeupplease!Noo!"she
shookherr
oughl
yscreami
nginanguish.
[
06/
01,
08:
10]W:
39
KUHLEKONKE
•
Youknowwheny ouarewrappedinthatspecial
somebody '
sar msthatmakey oufeelsaf
e,
l
oved,protected.Ev
eryt
hingaroundyouseem
soperfect,sofine,
sobeautif
ul.Isomehowf ell
asl
eepi nhisarmscozIwaswokenupbyawet
ki
ssont hesideofmyf ace
Me:
"If
all
asl
eepI
'
m sor
ry"
I
na:"Yaj
abuladadewenaIcoul
dn'
tfal
lasl
eep
uyangpi
ntsha"Ihi
thi
schestgi
ggl
ing
Me:
"Uy
aphapha"
I
na:
"Ser
iousbabeyourbutti
soccupy
ingt
oo
muchspaceayngeke!"Il
aughed
Me:"
Blamemymom t hi
sisall
herwor
k"Isai
d
pr
essingmybut tagai
nsthi
smanhoodashe
waslyingbehi
ndme
I
na:
"Ungayi
sukel
ii
nyokai
zi
hlel
eleemgodi
ni
way
o"Igiggl
ed"Haveyoufi
ndthenanny?
"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tdeci
dedwhi
chonet
otake"
I
na:"
Ithi
nkyoushoul
dmakeadeci si
onnow
babeSbonganeedtogetusetoherbef
oreyou
guysgotoCapeTwony ouknowhowheget"
Me:"Mxmyouar
eagr
eatf
athery
azi
n"He
chuckl
ed
I
na:
"It
ry"
Me:"IneedtogobutI'
m scaredy
ouwilldoyour
stupidthi
ngsIst
il
lcan'
tbeli
eveyouf
reezed
yoursel
f"
I
na:"
YazIwasn'tfeel
i
ngcoldIwassurpri
sedto
wakeuphere.Ihavehight
emperat
ureisdal
o."
Me:
"Yousho.
..
."Myphoner
angIanswer
edi
t
"
Phi
lz"
Phi
lz:
"Areyousti
l
lint
hehospi
tal
"shewas
br
eathingheav
il
y
Me:
"Yes"
Phi
lz:
"Don'
tmoveI'm comi
ngthereSbongai
s
hav
ingaseizur
e"Igotupimmediatel
y
Me:
"Sei
zur
e?"
Phil
z:"
I'
m coming"shedroppedt
hecal
lmy
heartst
artedbeati
ngfast
I
na:
"What
'swr
ongbabe"
Me:
"Sbongaishav
ingasei
zur
e"Iwhi
sper
ed
t
ear
st hr
eat
eningt
ocomeout"Phi
lzi
sbri
ngi
ng
hi
m her
e"
Hiseyesf
lushedwithangerIwaswai
ti
ngf or
himtotel
lmehowmucht hisi
smyfaultbuthe
kepthi
mselftoget
her
I
na:"
Call
yourdadandtellhi
mtophonethe
Hadebe'
sandtel
lthem t
oexpectusi
ntheear
ly
hour
softhemorning"
Me:
"I
nayouhav
en'
tbeendi
schar
ged.
..
"hecut
meoff
I
na:"Whatdoyouexpectmetodo?Si
tinthi
s
hospit
albedwhenmyl i
tt
leni
ggai
ssi
ck!"
Me:"
NoImeant hedoct
orsai
dhewantt
okeep
youforobser
vat
ion"
I
na:
"Cal
lyourf
ather
"Idi
aledmydad
Dad:
"Pr
incess"
Me:"Sbongahaveasei
zur
edaddy
"Isai
dwi
tha
neartear
sv oi
ce
Dad:
"Dammi
tmaanKonkey
oudon'
tl
ist
enI
couldbeatt hehelloutofyourightnowcozy ou
arestubborn!Howmanyt i
meshav eItol
dyou
aboutthecer emonyar rgggauyanyany
isanxIf
mygr andsoni snottheonei npainIwouldhave
l
etyousuf fersot hatyoucanlearntol
ist
en!"He
hungup.Icoul dn'
thelpbutall
owmyt earsto
fal
l.
Ina:
"Comeherei
t'
sokay
"Hepul
l
edmei
nhi
s
chestIcr
ied.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
"Nononono!siswakeupplease"Icri
ed
shaki
ngherroughl
ybutshewouldn'
twakeup.
Theblackst
ickybl
oodywaseverywhereIdi
dn'
t
knowwhattodoIwassoscar ed."
Pleasewake
up!"
Icoul
dn'
tfeelherany
morenoshecan'
tdi
eon
meshecan't!
!.I
nthatver
ysamemomentLami
st
art
edcryi
ngt hewaythi
sboyalwayssense
whenther
e'ssomethi
ngwr ongwi
thhismom it
s
cr
eepy.
Myhandshadbl oodIst
oodupandtookmy
phonewithmyshakinghandst
hescreenwas
soblurr
yduet
ot earst
hatcoul
dn'
tst
op
cl
oudingmysight.
Itri
edtocallButi
PKbutt histimehi sphone
sentmest r
aighttov oicemail.Icall
edthe
ambulanceandgav ethedi r
ection.Idi
dn'tknow
whot oatt
endmysi sterwhowasl ying
helpl
essl
yont hefloororacr y i
ngLami .Just
thenther
ewassomeonei nthedoor .
ThatwasfastIdidn'
texpectt
heambulanceto
beheresoon.Irantothedoorit
skindaseemed
l
ikeastr
ugglesincemykneeswer ewobbli
ng.
Iopenedt
hedoorthest
oodmyfri
endandher
motherwhoj
ustpushedher
sel
fin
Pr
ee'
sMom:"Wher
eisshe?"shesai
dal
ready
maki
ngherwayt
othelounge.
It
hrewmy
sel
finPr
ee'
sar
ms
Pr
ee:
"Sshhdon'
tcr
ymom wi
l
lhel
pher
"
Me:"Howdi dyouguys..
.st
upi
dquesti
on"She
walkedwithmet otheloungewher
ewef ound
hermom pr ayi
ng,beggi
ngGodalongher
ancestor
st osavemysi st
ert
ear
sstreaming
downherf ace.
It ookLami andcalmedhi m down.Af
terwhat
feltli
kefor
ev ershestoppedprayi
ngbutsti
l
lmy
sisterwasn'
twaki ngup
"Whydi
dyoust opshehaven'
twokeuppl
ease
car
ryonI'
m beggingyou"Icr
ied
Pree'
sMom:"Sheisoutofdangernowwehav e
togotomyhousesot hatIcanhel
pher..
Prett
y
helpmecar
ryher"Theycarri
edherandwalked
outwit
hmeandLami f
oll
owingbehind.
Theyputheri
nPree'
smom'sChevrol
etatthe
backseat
.Weallj
umpedinthandr
oveoff
.The
womancandr i
veIt
ell
youshewasspeeding
butshenev
ermadeami
stake.
Uponar
ri
val
mysi
sterwasr
ushedi
ntot
hehut
.
PreetookLamiandwentwi
thhi
mt othemain
housewhil
eIwenttot
hehut
.Itwasveryscar
y
i
nthereanddar
k.
Pree'
smom: "Si
tdown"Isatont heanimalski
n
nexttomysister
."Uncl
othedher"Iundressed
mysisterbl
oodwasal l
ov erhercl
othesI
noti
cedthatshewasnotbl eedi
ngonherear s
andnoseonlyevendownt her
e
moretearsr
andownmycheekswhati
sal
lthi
s?
Whatkindofsi
cknessi
sthi
s.
Shetookasmall3leggedpotandsti
rr
edthe
bl
ackstickymut
iini
twithaspear,
grunti
ngand
gr
oaning.
Me:
"Nodon'
thur
ther
!!
"
Pr
ee'
smom: "
Relax"Shepokemysist
er'
sbody
wi
thaspearthathadsti
ckymut
i.Shewas
cl
i
cki
nghertoungeeachanever
ypokethat
l
andedonmysi ster
'sbody.Aftert
hatshe
smear
edwhi t
epowderal l
ov erherbody
i
ncl
udingherface.
Me:"Shei
snotwaki
ngupMakhosi
pleasewake
herup"Icr
ied.
Pree'sMom: "Don'
tcr
ymychil
dshewill
be
al
right"Justt
henmysist
ercoughedand
openedherey es.
Me:"Si
syouawake!
"Ipl
antedkissesal
loverher
faceandst
oppedwhenItastedsomethi
ng
bit
terr
emembershehadwhitepowderonher
face.
Iwi
pedmymouthv
igor
ousl
yPr
ee'
smom
gi
ggl
edsof
tl
y.
Pr
ee'
smom:
"Wel
comebackmychi
l
d"
Si
sKat
:"
Whathappenedwher
eam I
?"
Me:"
WeareatPr
ee'
spl
acesi
syoubecamesi
ck
outoft
hebl
ue"
Herey
esgl
i
stenedwi
tht
ear
s
Si
sKat
:"
Ihaveneverfel
tsuchexcr
uci
ati
ngpai
n
i
nmyli
feevenlabourpai
nswerebett
er"
Pr
ee'
smom:
"Youar
esaf
enowdon'
tcr
y"
Si
sKat
:"
Whati
swr
ongwi
thme?
"
Pr
ee'
smom si
ghedheav
il
y
Pree'smom:
"Theywantedtoendyourli
febutI
couldn'
tl
ett
hem dothatIhadtopr
otectyou.
"
Si
sKat
:"
Why
?Whoar
ethey
?"
Pr
ee'
smom: "
Theyareagai
nsty
ourr
elat
ionshi
p
wi
thyourboy
fri
end"
Me:
"Whoar
etheyMakhosi
?"
Pree'
smom:"
Iwil
lprot
ecty
oudon'
twor
ry
nothi
ngwi
l
ltouchyou"
SisKat
:"
Butyouarenott
ell
ingmewhoar et
hey
MakhosiIneedt
oknow IthoughtPhumlai
s
theonl
yonewhodoesn'twantmet odat
eher
brot
her
"
Pr
ee'
smom:
"Iwi
l
lkeepy
ouf
ort
odayIwantt
o
workyouthewhol
eni
ghtweneedtogety ou
str
ongandprot
ect
edal
ongwit
hy oursi
sterand
yourson"
Si
sKat
:"
Wher
eismyson?
"
Pree'
sMom:"
Heisfi
neIwil
lgofet
chhim and
someclot
hestowear
"Shestoodupandwalked
out
Me:"
Thanky
ouf
orcomi
ngbackt
omesi
syou
scar
edme"
Si
sKat :
"Youshouldknowbynowdeathai
n'
tmy
fr
iend"Shesqueezedmyhand"Where'
sPK?"
Me:
"Hewasnotanswer
inghi
scal
l
ssi
s"
Si
sKat
:"
Cal
lhi
m agai
npl
ease"
Me:
"Il
eftourphonesathome"
Si
sKat:
"ButIneedhim sl
aybabepl
easeIwant
hi
mt obeherewi t
hmeIwanthimtoholdme.I
wanthi
m please"shecri
ed
Me:
"Okaydon'
tcr
yIwi
l
lseewhatIcando"We
hugged.
•
SQALOKUHLE
•
"
Howi
syourmom doi
ng?
"
Askedmymanbae, myr ideordi e,myhear t
,my
rock,mykingohhowIl ov ehim hemakeme
happy .Tr ustmeIam t heluckiestgirli
nthis
worldtofi
ndmy selfsuchaguyl ikePhakswel l
I'
mt heonl
ywhocal l hi
mt hattoy ouheis
Phakamani,Phakamani Mngomezul u.Ihave
beentoldt
hatt here'sgonnabeal otofmeher e
soletmeintroducemy sel f.
I'
m Sqal
okuhleSit
holethedaughterofZesuli
we
Sit
holeandMawakhel omuziSelul
ekoSithol
e
I'
m 24yearsold.Mytwinsisteri
sSqalesi
hle
Sit
holesoontobeZwaneasshewi l
lbegetti
ng
marri
edinDecember .I'
m afashi
ondesigner
andIownf ewboutiques.
Ihave3sibl
ings,onesist
erwhi
chismytwin
si
sterSqal
esihl
eandt wobrot
hers
NkosinamandlaandMawakhelomuziJuni
or
Iwon'tl
ietoyouandsayInev
erhaditeasy
whatsoeverI
'
m comingfr
om ari
chfamily.
Mypar entsownsaconstr
ucti
oncompanyof
whichmom i sCEOofit
,3hotel
s,Taxi
sanda
RecordingLabel
.Mygrandpar
entsfr
om my
mom' ssidetomydad'
ssidetheyareal
sofi
l
thy
ri
chsoImustsayI '
mluckyIhaditeasy.
Wel lPhaksandIhav ebeent
oget herf
oray ear
andmont hs8mont hstobepreciseyeah
almostt woy ear
s .Hei smyf ir
stboyfr
iendto
thinkheuset oannoythehel
l outofmewhen
hest art
edwooi ngmeit'
sactuall
yfunnytheway
Ilovehim nowandhel ovemet oo.Mypar ents
knowaboutusandhi sdadismydad' sclose
fri
endsoy eah.
Me:
"Sheisrecover
ingbaby"Wewer einoneof
t
heparentshotelj
ustcuddl
ingIwantedto
spendsomet i
mewi thhi
m si
ncehei
sl eav
ing
tomorrow.Heli
vesinKZNandI'
m proudtosay
thati
snotanobstaclecozheal
wayscome
whenhewantt oseeme.
Phaks:
"Thatawesomebaby
"
Me:
"Howar
eyouhol
dingup?
"
Phaks: "
Imtr
yingbutIwi l
lbewell
thedayI
foundmysi ster'
skil
l
ers"Peopl
ear ecrueli
nthi
s
wor l
dhowcany oukil
lawomanl ikethat?Cut
allhertoes,
earsandni ppl
espeopleare
mal i
ciousoutthereI
'mt el
li
ngyou
andmybabyisreal
lynotcoping theywer
e
verycl
osewi
thsisPhumlaandsheusetol
ove
meshame.Wegotal ongverywel
lIl
osta
sist
ert
oo.
Me:
"ThePIhav
en'
tgav
eyoui
nfony
ana"
Phaks:
"NoIguesshei
sst
il
lsear
chi
ng"
Me:
"Heisthebestt
rustmehewil
lfi
ndouti
nno
t
ime"Ir
ecommendedt hePIf
orhi
m heist
he
besti
nthegame.
Phaks:
"Ei
shIwishhecanbef
astsot
hatmy
famil
ycangetclosur
e"
Me:
"Hewil
l
...Whydon'ty
out
ell
yourf
athert
o
moveyout
hissidebaby"
Phaks:
"Ihav
ebeenpl
anni
ngt
odosomyl
ove"
Me:"
Really
?"Il
if
tedupmyheadf
rom hi
schest
andlookedathi
m gleef
ull
y
Phaks:"Ohyesbaby"Hecuppedmyfacekissed
meIr espondedwit
hpassionhi
stounge
massagi ngminei
nmymout hcausi
ngar ushal
l
overmybody .
Thekissdeepenedhefl
i
ppedusov
er
exchangingposi
ti
onshi
m ont
opofmeandme
underneathhi
m.
Thekissdeepenedmaki
ngourbr
eat
hing
accel
erat
eHer anhi
spal
msonmyt hi
gha
moanescapedf r
om mymouthashesuckedon
myneckr eal
hard.
Het ookoffmydr essandst udiedmybodywi t h
aleersmi l
epl ast
eredonhi sf acebeforekissing
myl i
psgoi ngdownt omyj awl i
ne,myneck, my
stomachl eavingwetki sses.Icoul dfeelmy self
getti
ngwet terandwet ter.Ev erytouchand
everykisssendf orei
gnsensat i
onsallovermy
body .Hekissedmyf annyov ermypant i
es
bi
tingitli
ghtlyohGodt hisiswaygood, t
oo
muchgoodIwantmor ei t
'saboutt ime.
Hetookoffmypant
ieswit
hhi
steet
hand
out
str
etchedmythi
ghs.
PK:
"Hel
l
oBooboo"Igi
ggl
edsof
tl
y
Heblewaironmybananabasketandnuzzl
ed
agai
nsti
t,histoungest
roki
ngi
nlongslowli
cks
Il
ostcont
rolofmysensesandgraspedhi
s
head.
Damni tfel
tsoamazi nghesi
ghedbl
i
ssf
ull
yand
droveinhistoungeagainf
ucki
ngmewit
hitI
screamedinpl easur
e.
If
elti
tbui
l
dingupashewentdeepermywhol
e
bodyconv
ulsedwi
thpl
easur
eIr
elease.
Hecameont oofmeandkissedme
passi
onatel
yIhelphi
m undressed.Hi
sguy
poppedupsky war
d,pul
singIswearheis
usual
lynott
hishuge
Me:"Yho"Hechuckledandhi tmynunwi t
hhi
s
guyf orsev
eralti
mest henrubbeditonmycl
i
t.
"I
fakebaby "
(geti
n)Idon'thowitcameoutI
guesswant edhiminsideofmenow.Heshot
mel eersmileandenteredhimself
Iwi
ncedandmov
edupi
twaspai
nful
Phaks:
"Iwi
l
lbegent
lyokay
"Inoddedv
igor
ousl
y
Hepushedi
nagai
nIscr
eamed"
I'
m sor
rymy
l
ove"
HekissedmeandpushedinhardIscr
eamedin
agonytear
sroll
i
ngonthesidesofmyface"
I'
m
i
nnowaski esokay
"Inodded
Hestar
tedmovi
ngsl
owlyandsl
owlybutthe
pai
nwassti
ll
ther
eIcoul
dn'
tbeari
ttear
swer e
fl
owingi nv oluntari
ly.Iwant edhimt ocum
alr
eadyandgetof fmebutt hatwasl i
keforever
unti
lIhear dhi mletti
ngoutagr uffwhisperand
thr
owinghi sheadback" Ohf uuuucck!
!"He
coll
apsedonmepant ing."Iloveyou"Hepl ant
ed
alongki ssonmyl ipsIt houghtaftert
hathewi ll
getofflut hodadehebur iedhisheadonmy
neckngal oy omzuzuangsaf uneluthosengizwa
ngathiuy angi si
nda.
•
NARRATED
•
Nkanyambawasgr i
ppedbyaf eel
ingof
confusionhealwaysfeel
thei
rsoulsseparati
ng
fr
om theirbodi
eswhenhei sdoneper f
orming
hi
swi tchcr
aftbutt
odaythatdi
dn'thappen
whichmeantonl yonethi
ngthegirli
sstil
lal
ive.
Howi spossibl
e?Heknowf orsur et
hathi
smuti
nevermakeami st
ake.Nothinglikethi
shave
everhappenedbeforehencei tshockedhi
mt o
thecor
e.Whati
sspeci
alaboutt
hisgi
rl
?Why
can'
tshedi
e?
Thosewer ethequesti
onsthatwerecrowding
onhismind.Coulditbepossi
blethatheis
l
osinghispowers?Hecantaffordtolosehi
s
powerswitchcr
afti
stheonlythi
ngheknow
eversi
ncehewasachi ld.Af
terhisfat
herdied
hetookover.
Hecoul dn'
tbr
inghimselft
otell
Mngomezul
u
thathisplandi
dn'tworkphelaheknewt
hathe
willdemurtopayandheal sohaveanameto
protect.Hecan'tbeseenassomeonewhois
l
osinghi spowers.
Nkanyamba:
"Kuf
ezi
we"(
Wesucceeded)Hel
i
ed
ofcourse
Mngomezul u:
"Younev erdi
sappointyouaret
he
KingamongKi ngs"Hesmiledwidelywit
h
grat
if
icat
ionifonlyheknew." I
t'
salwaysgood
toworkwi t
hy oundoday amadoda"Hepushed
thebrownleatherskinbri
efcasetowards
Nkanyamba'
sdirect
ionwhoopenedi tand
smil
edgleef
ull
ylookingatthest
acksof200
not
esf i
l
ledi
nabr i
efcase.
Nkanyamba:
"Youknowhowt
omakeaman
smil
e"
Mngomezul
uchuckl
ed
Mngomezulu:
"I
'm gl
ady
ouar
ehappymyKi
ng.I
shoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Nkany
amba:
"Hav
easaf
etr
ipmyman"
Mngomezul
u:"
Thanky ou"Hest
oodupandwent
outl
eavi
ngNkanyambawi thareel
ingmi
ndbut
hedeci
dedtoleti
tgohegotthemoneyt hat
whatal
loft
hisaboutMONEY, MONEY&
MONEY."Makhosazana!!
"Hescreamed
Makhosazana:
"YeboBaba"shesai
dwal
ki
ngi
n
andbowdownbef oreNkanyamba
Nkany
amba:
"I
'm hungr
y"
Makhosazana:
"Ubabauzot
handaukudl
aini
"
(
Whatwoul dFatherl
i
ketoeat)shesai
dher
headst
il
lbowed
Nkanyamba:"I
dombolonenyama
yangaphakat
hi"(
dumpli
ngandtri
pe)His
favour
it
emeal heli
ketohav
eitespeci
all
ywhen
heinthegoodmood.
Whowoul dn'tbeinagoodmoodaf t
erhe
recei
vedsuchal otofmoney
.Itshasal
ways
beengoodf orhimtoworkwithMngomezul
u
cozheispay sverywel
l.
Makhosazana:
"Kulungi
lebabangabekukhona
okuny
e"(Noproblem fatheri
stheany
thi
ng
el
se?)
Nkany
amba:
"Uy
il
eukuy
ombai mi
thi
entabeni
?"
(
Didyougot
othemountai
ntodi
gherbs/muti
?)
Makhosazana:
"Yebobaba"(
yesf
ather
)
Nkanyamba:
"Yousuchagoodwomanwho
obeyhismastert
hatwhyIl
ovey
ousomuch.
"
Makhosazanasmi
l
edshy
lyherheadst
il
lbowed
"
Youcangopr
epar
emyf
ood"
Makhosazana:"Yebobaba"(yesfather)she
st
oodupf r
om t heanimalski
nanddi sappeared
l
eavi
ngNkany ambawi thagratif
icati
onsmi leon
hi
sfacethinki
ngt hedayMngomezul ubrought
Makhosazanat ohim.Heusedhi spower sto
washeverythi
ngi nMakhosazana'smi ndand
madeherhi sservant
.
[
06/
01,
08:
10]W:
40
PHAKAMANI
•
Im cal
lednamesf r
om jerkassto..
..
.adogwellI
deserveit.Ihaven'
tbeenagoodboy fr
iendto
bothoft hem especi
all
yKhet hokuhl
eImadeher
fal
linlovewi thmewhenshewasscar edtodo
soIper suadedheruntilshegav emeal l
ofher
heartbuther eIam notbeinghonestwi t
hher.
IloveherIreal
lydoloveherIknowmyact i
ons
areli
ter
all
ybetrayi
ngmywor dsbutitst
rue.At
theendoft hedayaper sonbeli
evewhat
he/shewantt obel
ievenomat t
erhowmuch
y
oucanexpl
ainy
our
sel
ftot
hem.
Idon'
tknowhowdi dIgethereIwascont ent
withonegirl
fri
endbutKatmadei thardforme
nottofal
l f
orher.Theyar ebothdiff
erentandI
l
ovetheirdif
ferences.Khethokuhkeisan
exampleofwhatIcal limbokodo( woman)she
i
sbeaut i
ful
,int
ell
igent,f
unny,sexy,st
rong,
confi
denceandf eisty
.
Shedoesn' tal
lowhardshipstobri
ngherdown
nomat terhowhar dthingsmaybeshenev er
fi
ndar easont ogiveup.Sheisnotscar
edof
ri
ski
ngi tallaslongasshewi l
lri
seup.Sheisan
unshakablewoman.Il ovehowsheisso
prot
ectiveofus.Thel ovesheshowusev ery
day
i
spr i
celess.
Withawomanlikethatbyyoursi
deyouwil
l
conquerev
erywarshallcomeyourway.
Sqal
okuhleisalsobeauti
ful,
sexy,
funny
,
i
ntel
li
gent,educat
edandcl assy
.Sheisnoteven
cent
imeterclosetostr
ongshei sver
yfr
agil
e
t
hatanot
herr
easonIdon'
twantt
ohur
ther
.
Sheisacr ybabyandhar dshipswilll
iterall
y
shatt
erherintopieces.Sheisthekindawoman
youwi l
lhavetoputherinacagef orpr otect
ion
becauseofherfragil
eself.Letmenotcandy
coatitsheisweakbutIdon' tblameher .Our
backgroundandlifechall
engeswef acemade
uswhowear etoday.
Herparentstreatt hem l
ikeglassesoreggst hey
wantnot hi
ngtohappent othem.Thewor l
d
stopi
foneoft heirchil
drenishurt.Idon'
tblame
them eit
herI'
dki l
lthewhol ewor l
dforLami but
onethingforsur eIwillt
eachhi m howt obea
man,howt ofacel i
fechall
enges.
Howt ofightagainstal
lodds.Iwi
ll
teachhimt o
neverbreakdownbutr iseupcozoneoft hese
daysIwon' tbetherewithhi
m.Asclichéasis
soundli
feisr eal
lyshor
t.It
sonethi
ngwear e
cert
ainabout .
Idon'
tknowhowdi
dIgether
eandIf
eel
awf
ul
theybothdon'
tdeserv
et hi
s.IknowIhav
eto
choosebutIfeel
li
keI'm st
uckinli
mbocozI
don'twantt
ohurtthem both.
AnywayIlookedatSqalonexttomeshel ooked
sobeauti
fulheryel
lowskinglowingnexttomy
chocol
ateskin.Aft
erl
ovemaki ngsession
number2webot hfal
li
ntoslumberIjustwoken
upnow.
Iplantedakissonherl
i
psandcaref
ull
y
remov edherfr
om myarmsthenl
ayhergent
ly
ont hebed.
Isl
idoutofbedandtookmyphoneont he
bedsi
dethatwhenIsawtonsofmissedcall
s
fr
om Thando.
Thataler
tedmethatther
e'ssomethi
ngwrong.I
wentt ot
hebathr
oom quickl
yandtooka10
minutesshower.
Idri
ed,loti
onedandgot
dressedqui
ckl
y.
Iwrot
eanoteforSqalo:
"Hav
eanemer gencyto
at
tendtoI
'
m sorryIhadtol
eave.Iwi
l
lcallyou
l
aterIl
ovey
ousomuch.P"
Wit
hinminutesIwasdr
ivi
ngt
otheapar
tment
myphonerang.
Me:
"Mama"
Mom:
"Hel
l
osonhowar
eyou?
"
Me:
"I
'm goodMahowar
eyou"
Shesi
ghedheav
il
y
Mom:
"I
'm al
sof
ine"
Me:
"Whati
swr
ongMa"
Mom: "
Idon'
tl
iket
haty
ouandy
ourf
atherar
e
f
ight
ingmychild"
Me:
"IknowMamabutDadi st
heonewhoi
s
meddli
nginmybusi
ness"
Mom:
"Hewantwhatbestf
ory
ouhoney
"
Me:
"YouandIknowt
het
rut
hMama"
Mom: "
HehaveapointManiSqal
okuhl
eisa
educat
ed,successf
ul,
beaut
if
ulgi
rlandshei
s
pure.Whereisthefat
herofthatgirl
'sbaby?
Whydoy ouwanttotroubl
ey our
selfwith
anotherman'sbabyplayi
ngdaddy .Trut
hisno
mat t
erhowy oucantakecareofthatbabyheis
notyours.Onedayhisfatherwil
lclai
m him my
chi
ld"
Me:"
Iknowthati
snoty
out
hat
'
sdadt
alki
ng.
..I
hav
et ogomother
"
Mom:
"Phakamani
w..
"Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
OnethingIknowwithmom i
ssheisalways
supporti
vebutkeasMngomezul
u'
swifeshe
havetoshowl i
keshei
sonhissi
dealways.
WhenIgott
otheapar
tmenti
twasawf
ull
y
qui
et.
Iwalkedt
othesit
ti
ngroom myheartstopped
beat
ingwhenIsawbloodal
lovert
hefloor.
Me:"
Kat
!Thando!
"Isai
dsear
chi
ngthem i
nthei
r
bedr
oomsbutther
ewasnosignofthem.
Ipani
ckedmyhear
tthuddi
ngl
i
keadr
um.What
couldhavehappenedhere?Wherearet
hey?I
tookmyphonet ocallt
hem Ihear
dthei
rphones
ri
nginginthehouse.
OhLor
dpl
easel
ett
hem besaf
ewher
evert
hey
ar
e.
Ideci
dedt
ocal
lToy
amay
besheknows
Toya:
"Yum yum"Ifi
twasanyotherdayIwoul
d
havechuckl
edbuttodayIwasworri
edsick
aboutmylit
tlef
amil
y.
Me:
"Heyi
sKatandThandowi
thy
ou?
"
Toya:
"NoKatandIar
enotonspeaki
ngt
erms"I
hungupandcall
edTbose
Tbose:
"Heybr
a"
Me:
"Whenl
astdi
dyout
alkt
oKat
"
Tbose:
"Lastni
ghtwhati
sgoi
ngon"
Me:"
Igothomet heyar
enother
ebr
aandt
her
e's
bl
oodallovert
hef l
oor
"
Tbose:
"Whatdoy
oumeanman?
"
Me:"Ithinksomeonetookthem Tbose.What
am Igoingtodo?Whatiftheyhurtthem"my
voi
cebr oketothatt
hought.
Tbose:"
Shit!Wherewereyouwhenallofthat
happened?Igav eyouachancebutyouare
rui
ningi
tagain.Youdon'tdeser
vethem cozyou
can'
tprotectthem!!"
Me:
"Comeonbrat
hisisnott
herightt
imef
or
t
hatKatandt
heki
dsareoutther
ewhoknows
wi
thwhoandyout
ellmethatshi
t!"
Tbose:
"Pr
ayt
heyar
efinewher
evert
heyarecoz
I
'm sogoi
ngt
ofuckyouupPhakamani
!!
"He
hungup
Arggt
hisboyi
salwaysoverpr
otect
iveofKat
andmakemef eel
li
keIcan'
tprot
ecther.
Youknowt hisbrot
herandsisterr
elat
ionshipis
star
tingtomakemesi cknowcozi t
'sl
ookl i
ke
hewantmor et
hanthat.If
eltmyfaceget t
ing
dampwi tht ear
sasIwasdr i
v i
ngtothepoli
ce
stat
ion.PleaseLordsentyourangelstoprotect
t
hem wher
evert
heyar
e.
•
SQALOKUHLE
•
Thesecondt
imei
twasbett
ert
henthefi
rst
ti
meIevenhadanor
gasm wef
all
asleepaf
ter
that
.
Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhim buthewasnot
ther
esoIopenedmyeyesindeedhewasnot
nexttome
Heisint hebathr
oom IassumedIdr
agged
myselfupf r
om thebedthat'
swhenIsawt he
noteont hebedside:
Ihaveanemergencyt o
att
endt oI'
m sorr
yIhadtoleaveIwi
llcal
lyou
l
aterIloveyousomuchP"
Myheartsankhecouldhavewokemeup.I
wenttothebat
hroom andtookashoweraft
er
showeri
ngIgotdressed.It
ookmycarkeysand
myphoneanddr ovehome.Ifoundmyparent
s
cuddl
ingi
nthel
oungeIwal
kedpastwi
thouta
word
Mom: "
YewenaSqal
okuhl
eudl
ulaemat
huneni
yi
ni?
"
Me:"Greeti
ngsMom andDad"Theyl ookedat
mel i
keIsaidnothi
ngIhuffedandwalkedto
them.Ikissedthei
rcheeks"SawbonaMamano
Baba"(Greeti
ngsMom andDad)
Dad:
"Hel
l
osweet
hear
thowar
eyou?
"
Me:
"I
'mf
inewhatabouty
ouguy
s"
Them:
"Wear
efi
ne"
Mom:
"Youl
ooksadar
eyouokay
?"
Me:
"I
'mf
ineMa"
Dad:
"Youknowy
oucant
alkt
ousr
ight
?"
Me:"
Yesdaddythanky
ou.
..excusemepl
ease"
Theynoddedt
henImademywayupt othe
st
air
case.
IsawTwi
nni
e'
sbedr
oom'
sdoorl
eftaj
arI
peekedshewasseat edonherbeddoi ngsome
workwi t
hSbanisethunextt
oherwhowas
makingbabysounds." Whatar
ey oudoing
here?"Isai
dwalkinginsheshi
ftedhereyes
fr
om herlaptopandlookedatme.
Si
hle:
"Ai
bot
hisi
shomenj
ena"
Me:"Ai
bousuwumfazi
womuntuwenayouar
e
notsupposet
obehere"(
Aiboyouar
e
someone'swi
fe)
Sihle:
"Ohcomeonitsnotl
i
kewehaveahouse
yet"Iwenttosi
tnextt
oher"Soy
ouareokay
"
Me:
"Yeah"
Si
hle:
"That
'sal
i
ethat
'sal
i
e"
Isi
ghedheav
il
y
Me:
"PhaksandIdi
dthedeedt
oday
"
Sihl
e:"
Dammmm i
tsaboutt
imebutwhyar
eyou
sad"
Me:
"Besi
det
hef
actt
hati
twaspai
nful
Iwokeup
al
one.Hehadsomewher
etogo"
Si
hle:
"May
bei
twasur
gent
"
Me:"HecouldhavewokenmeupTwi nnie.If
eel
sosadr i
ghtnow.WhatifIwasn'
twhathe
ant
icipat
edwhatifIwasjustcol
d"
Si
hle:
"Don'
tdothatt
oyour
sel
fsi
showcana
vi
rgi
nbecoldIm sur
ehewasinahur
ry"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"Isobbed
Sihl
e:"
Comehere"Sheputthelapt
opasideI
wenttoheropenedar msandburi
edmy sel
fto
herbreast"
Ssshdon'tcr
y"Shestr
okemyback
unti
lIwascalmed.Ipull
edbackandwipedmy
tear
s
Me:
"Wenawhyar
eyouher
e?"
Si
hle:
"Pr
incesscal
l
ed"
Me:
"Andhedr
oppedev
ery
thi
ngasusual
"
Si
hle:
"NotthatIhaveaprobl
em wit
hthati
thi
s
daughterhehavetobetherewhensheneed
hi
m butthi
sti
mearoundI
m pissed.Sbongahad
asei
zureandVinhav
ebeentell
ingherthatt
he
boyneedthecer
emonybutshewouldn'tl
ist
en"
Me:"
Wuuushesoundtoomuchnj
eIwonder
howwil
lInahandl
eher
"
Sihle:
"Youknowi fy
ouaskmet heyshouldend
thisrel
at i
onshi
palr
eadyli
kenj
eitstoo
compl icatedandVi
ncenti
sgoi
ngt ofl
ip"
Me:"Andt hef
amilytooItol
dInabuthesai
dhe
doesn'tcarei
ftheydisownhim"
Si
hle:
"Tj
othatwi
l
lbesomet
hingel
se"
Me:
"Tel
lmeabouti
tletmegoandl
i
edown"
Si
hle:
"Don'
tl
ett
hisgett
oyouokay
"
Me:"
Okay"IkissedSbani
set
huandwenttomy
bedroom.Itookoffmyheelsandl
aynextt
o
mycatthencalledPhaks
"
PK'
sphonehel
l
o"saidasweetv
oiceofa
f
emal
eontheothersi
de
Ihungupandcr
iedmyl
ungsoutcuddl
i
ngmy
cat.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Iwaswit
hInainfr
ontofmysonwhowaslyi
ng
onahospit
albedmachi
nebeepi
ngst
eadi
l
y
Tear
saut
omat
ical
l
yrandownmycheeks.
I
na:
"Don'
tcr
ybabyhewil
lbeal
ri
ght
"Hewiped
mytear
sIhel
dSbonga'
sti
nyhandandki
ssedi
t
Me: "
I'
m sor
rymyboy
"Ibr
okedownmyknees
fai
ledme.Heheldmeandmademesitonthe
chair.
Ina:"
Youneedtobestr
ongbabeplease"He
kneeledinfr
ontofmeandcuppedmyf ace"
Be
strongforhi
m baby
"
Me:
"I
tsal
lmyf
aul
t"Isobbed
I
na:
"Andy
oul
ear
ntf
rom i
tther
eisnoneedt
o
beatyoursel
faboutitbegl
adthati
tcannever
belat
et odotheceremonyokay"Inoddedhe
wipedmyt earswit
hhisthumbsandkissedme.
"Getawayfr
om mydaught
erboy
!!
"OhGodnot
nowplease
Me:
"Daddypl
easecal
m down"
Dad:"Younev erli
stentomeKonkenehIt old
youtost aythefuckawayf rom thi
sboybutno
herey ouareexchangi ngsaliv
awi t
hhim!It
old
youSbonganeedt obei nt
roducedtohis
ancest or
syour efused!!Whyar eyou
disr
espect i
ngme? ?"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rydaddy
"Icr
ied
Dad:"
Youfuckoutofhere!I
fIev
erseeyounear
mydaughterIwil
lfucky
ouupIdon'tcar
eifmy
wif
eisyoursist
er!
!"
Me:"
That'sunf
airdaddy!Il
ovehim Sbongal
ove
hi
m pleasegiv
eusy ourblessi
ngs"
Dad:
"Ov
ermydeadbody
!"
Me:
"Daddy
..
.
Dad:
"Konkey
ouandt
hisboyar
eov
er"
I
na:"
MrZwanepl
easey
oucan'
tdot
hatIwon'
t
hur
ther
..
."
Dad:
"Shutt
hef
uckupandgetout
!!
"
Me:"I'
m notgoingtobreakupwithhim dadyou
areunfair
.Iacceptedyourrel
ati
onshi
pwi t
h
Sihl
ebuty oucan'tdothesamey ouare
self
is.
..
"Hecutmeof fwit
hahugesl apthat
mademesawst ars
I
na:
"Jesuswhatt
hehel
l
!"
Dad:
"St
ayoutoft
hiswhyar
eyoust
il
lher
e!"
I
na:"Babeareyouokay"Icri
edoutl
oudhe
pull
edmeinhisarmsbutt hatdi
dn'
tl
astasdad
grabbedhi
m awayfrom me
Dad:
"Isai
dgetoutofher
e!"
Me:
"Don'
tgoI
naSbonganeedy
ouher
e"
Dadchuckl
edshaki
nghi
shead
Dad:"
Youknowwhaty ouaredeadtome!"He
stor
medout.Howcanhesayt hathei
smyonl y
famil
ynowIbursti
ntotear
sInacomfor
tedme.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Myal lbodywasachingit
'sli
kewasIrunni
nga
mar at
hononamount ai
n.Aft
ersaoki
ngmy
bodywi thmuti
thatIwasgivenbyPree'
smom I
sl
ippedintoherdaughter'
spjswhoismyage
doingherLLB
Thatcoul
dn'
thelpbutt
ouchedmepai nf
ull
ybut
thenagai
nIcannotcomparemylif
ewi t
hother
peopl
eOnlyGodknowswhyal loft
hisis
happeni
ngIthi
nkHehav eagreat
erplanthenI
haveformysel
fall
Ishal
ldoistohavefait
hin
him.
AsSi
nachsong-WayMarkersaysthatheisa
waymaker
,miracl
ewor
ker,promisekeeper,
l
ightint
hedarkness.Heist
ouchingever
yhear
t,
heal
ingever
yheart,t
urni
ngl
ivesaround,
mendingeveryhear
t.
Heisananswert
oital
l.Thesongli
ftupmy
spi
ri
tIcanseemysel
finthatst
udi
omaking
music.
"Don'
tcr
ymychild"Il
ookedupatMakhosi I
wasinaguest
room abouttogetintobl
anket
s
somehowIdri
ftawaywiththoughts.
Me:
"I'
m notcry
ingMa"Ifor
cedasmil
ewi
ping
mytearsthensli
ppedi
ntobl
anket
s.
Pree'
smom: "
Here'
syourfood"shegavemet
he
tr
aythathadaplat
efil
ledwit
hpap,gravy
,
beetr
ootsal
ad,worsandsteak.Mymouth
watered.
Me:"
ThankyouMama"Itookthet
rayand
pl
aceditonmylapst
henwipedmyhandswi
th
dampdishcl
oth.
"
Lami
isst
il
lokay
"
Pree'
smom:
"YesPr
eel
ovehi
m..
.howi
syour
body"
Me:
"Achi
ng"
Pree'smom:
"I
twi
l
lgetbet
teri
nti
me"shet
urned
toleave
Me:
"Mama"
Sheswi
vel
l
edar
oundandl
ookedatme
"
Thankyousomuchf
orsav
ingmeIowey
ou
myli
fe"
Pree'
smom:"I
t'
smyjobsweethear
tnoweaty
ou
needstr
engt
h"Ist
artedeat
ing
Me:"
WhowantmedeadMamapl easet el
lmeI
needtoknowsothatIcanbecaref
ul"She
si
ghedandsatontheedgeofthebed.
Pree'smom:
"Idon'
tl
iketodi
scl
oset
hatthe
ancestor
sar
enotall
owingmetobutIwil
l
protecty
ou,
youhavenothi
ngtowor
ryabout"
Me:
"Okayt
ell
meaboutmom"
Pr
ee'
smom:
"Whatabouther
?"
Me:"I
'
m stll
lunclearaboutwhaty
ousaidImean
howcanherancest or
sdenymewhenI '
mthei
r
daughter
'schil
d.Doesi tmeanMom i
snota
Mhlongo"
Pree'
smom:"She'
saMhl ongoandI'
m sor
ryt
hat
Idon'
thaveansweressheistheonl
yonewho
haveanswers"
Me:"
Butyouar
easangomay
oushoul
dknow
wherei
sshe"
shechuckl
ed
Pree'
smom: "Bei
ngasangomaorpr ophet
doesn'tmeanweknowev erything.Weonly
knowwhati srevealedbyt heancest or
sand
God.Iftheydon'trev ealanythi
ngt ousthenwe
havenot hingtosay .Idon'twantt ol
ietoyou
butIdon'tknowwher esheisbutIcanf eelher
thatshei sali
vealthoughshei slost
"
Me:
"SowhatcanIdo?
"
Pr
ee'
smom:"Iwi
ll
begmyancest
orst
oshow
mesomet
hing"
Me:
"Thanky
ouMama"
Shesml
i
edandst
oodup
"
Ihav
eonel
astquest
ionf
ory
ou"
Shechuckl
ed
Pr
ee'
smom:
"I
'ml
i
steni
ng"
Me:
"Uhm Myboy
fri
endi
shet
heone?
"
Shechuckl
edi
sitmeorshechuckl
esal
ot.
Pr
ee'
smom:
"Whatdoy
out
hinkwena?
"
Me:"It
hinkhei
stheonemamahemakeme
happy"
Pr
ee'
smom:
"Hei
stheonet
hen"
Me:"
Whatdoest
heancest
orssay
?"She
l
aughed
Pree'
smom:
"Youar
eabusi
ngmyancest
ors
Khetho"
Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryIcan'
thel
pit
"
Pr
ee'smom:"
Totall
yunder
stand.
..
cal
lhi
m hei
s
worr
iedsi
ckaboutyou"
Shet
ookoutherphoneonherapr
on'
spocket
Me:"ThankyouMama"It
ookt
hephoneand
di
aledPK'snumber
PK:
"Hel
l
o"
Me:
"Babe"
PK:
"Ki
tKatwhereareyou?Ar
eyouguysalr
ight
?
Whathappened?"Hewasspeaki
ngsofast
Me:"
Wearefi
nebabecometoPree'
shomet hat
wherewear
eIwil
lexpl
ainwhenyougether
e"
PK:
"Okay
"Ihungup
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Pree'smom:"
Youar ewelcomemychi l
d"she
smiledsweet
ly.Sheissuchabeauti
fulwoman
withasweetsmi l
e.Shetookt
hetraysinceI
wasf i
nishedeat
ingandwalkedout.
Approximatel
yafter15minut
esthedoorbur
st
openincamePK.Wi thi
nasecondhewas
seat
ednextt omesqueezingmei nhi
sarms
PK:"
Ithoughtsomethi
nghappenedtoy
ouguy s.
Pl
easenev erdothatt
ome"Hehol dmefordear
l
if
e.
Me:"
It
'sokaywearefine"Wepull
l
edaparthi
s
ey
eswer eredIcoul
dt el
lhewascry
ing.
PK:
"Whathappened?Bloodwasever
ywhere"I
nar
rat
edeveryt
hing"OhGodareyouokay?
"
Me:"
YesI'
mfi
nenowal
lthankst
oPr
ee'
smom.
..
wherewer
eyouPK?
"
PK:
"Iwaswi
thaPI
"
Me:
"Foral
lthesehour
s?st
opl
yi
ngt
ome"
PK:
"Ser
iousbaby
"
Me:"
Youarely
ing.Ialmostdiedt
odayandwena
youwerenott
herey oupromisemet obet
here
whenev
erIneedy oubutIalmosttookmylast
breathwi
thoutyourpr
esencethel
easty
ou
coulddoi
st otel
lmethetrut
h"
PK:"It
'st
hetrut
hbaby"Hetookmyhandsand
kissedthem."I
'
m sor
ryI'
mr eal
l
ysor
ryIwasn'
t
therewhenyouneededme"
Me:"
Ican'
thel
pbutpi
ckupv i
besfrom y
ouI
don'
twanttobeani
nsecuregi
rl
fr
iendPK
pl
easedon'
tgiv
emear easontobeone"
PK:"
Ngi
yaxol
i
sangenhl
izi
yoyami
yonke"(
I'
m
real
l
ysor
rywithal
lmyheart
)
Me:"I
fIfi
ndoutyoumaki ngmey ourf
oolPKIm
goingtotakeyoutothebutcheryandtel
lthem
tosli
ceyouint
opiecesthenf eedthedogsyour
fl
esh"Isaidst
ari
ngintohisey esheswall
owed
hard
PK:
"Ihav
esomet
hingt
otel
lyou"
Me:
"I
'ml
ist
ening"ThedooropenedThando
wal
kedi
nwithacr y
ingLami."
What'
swr ong"
Thando:
"It
hinkhei
shungr
y"It
ookmycr
ying
sonandcuddl
edhi
m
Me:"Aski
eswenaKhehla"Ipull
edoutmyboob
andbreastfedhim.Hesuckedonmehar d
Ncoomybabywasr eal
lyhungry.Iwi
pedhi
s
tear
swi t
hmyt humbsandlookedupatPKwho
wassmi l
ingli
keanidi
ot
"
What
?"
PK:
"Il
ovey
ouguy
s"
Me:
"Wel
ovey
out
oowhatdi
dyouwant
edt
otel
l
me?
"
PK:
"ThatIl
oveyousososomuch"Ismi
l
ed
pr
essingmyli
psonhis.
•
NARRATED
•
Intheearlyhour
softhemor ni
ngMakhosiwas
seatedonheranimalskinsurr
oundedwi
thall
dif
ferentcol
oursofcandl
es.Thesmokeof
i
mpephaf i
ll
edherhut.I
thavebeenhour s
beggi
ngherancestorst
oshowherwhat
happenedtothegir
l'
smother.Thel
ightshot
bri
ghtthr
oughhereyesmakingithardforhert
o
keepthem open.
Sheopenedthem andt
her
ePhuml
awast
alki
ng
wit
hherfat
her.
Mngomezulu:
"Hi
sinv
est
mentcouldbegr
eatfor
thecompanyhehasawell
reput
ati
on.Weneed
someoneli
kehim"
Phumla:
"I
fonlyIcangetr
idoft
hat
Makhosazanawomanal l
wil
lbeeasydaddy
"
Mngomezul u:
"That
'swon'
tbeapr oblem Ihave
afri
endofmi newhocouldusehert o
somethi
ngusef ul
"HecontactedNkany amba
andhewasmor ethanhappy.Thatnight
Makhosazanawasabduct edandbr oughtto
Nkanyambawhoper f
ormedhiswitchcraft
ri
tual
stocleanhermemor y.
Meanwhi
l
eNkany
ambawaswokenupbyhi
s
ti
kolosheinfor
minghimt hatsomeonei sona
vergeoftakinghi
sbelovedser v
antawayf r
om
him.Hewentt ohishutandt ookaspeci al
mirror
.Her ubbedgr
eenmut ionitspeakingin
l
anguagesMakhosi appear edont hemirror
.
Nkanyamba: "
Way isukelaInyokaIzi
hlel
eleMfazi
Ndini
"Hel etoutal oudev i
llaughbefore
speakinggibberi
shwor dsMakhosi f
eltl
ike
someonewasst rangl i
nghershegaspedf orair
hereyespoppi ngout .Shedroppedont hefl
oor
wiggl
ingtryi
ngt obr eathbutitwasalli
nv ai
n
andthatwast heendher .

[
06/
01,
08:
10]W:
41
KUHLEKONKE
•
Lastni
ghtDadaskedSbonga'
sdoctort
o
di
schargedhi
m andthedoct
ortur
nedoutbehi
s
f
ri
end
soheunderst
oodt
hesit
uati
on.Wehi
tther
oad
wi
thi
nhourswewereatNqut
huinsomeBnB.
Imustsaythedri
vewasawfulandsoul
lesshe
wasn'
ttalki
ngtome.Cany
ouImaginedr i
vi
ng
for
m DurbantoeNqut
hunotsayawor dto
eachot
her .
Ifai
ltounderst
andwhatcri
meam Icommi tt
ing
tobeinarelati
onshi
pwithI
na.Likewhyishe
agai
nstitl
ikeseri
ousl
y?Hecan'ttel
lmeabout
agecozheknowbet terl
ovedoesn'thav
eage.
Anywaytodayi
sthefoll
owingmorni
ngandthe
Hadebe'
sarewait
ingforus.WhenIf
ini
shed
dr
essingupmysonIwentt ojoi
ndaddyfor
br
eakfast
.
Me:
"Mor
ning"Isatdownandplacedmysonon
myl
apshenestledhisheadagai
nstmychest
Dad:
"Mor
ning"Weatei
nsi
l
enceIwon'
tl
iet
he
t
ensi
onwaski l
l
ingme.
Me:
"DaddyI
'
m sor
ry"
Dad:
"Whatar
eyousor
ryf
orKonke?
"
Me:
"Forev
ery
thi
ng"
Hesai
dnot
hingf
ocusi
ngonhi
sfood
"Ipromisetonev
erdisrespectyouanykindof
wayandt oalwaysl
istent oyou.I
m sorr
yfor
beingabaddaughterIpr omisetochangemy
behavior"
Asmi
l
ecr
eptonhi
sface
Dad:"Looksweetheartal
lIwantforyouiswhat
bestforyou.Iwil
lnevermisgui
dey ouor
misleadyou.Ineedyout otr
ustmeandt o
respectmeasy ourfather
.Youcan'ttal
ktome
asifI'
my ourfr
iend"
Me:
"Iheary
ouandIr
eal
l
yapol
ogi
se.
"
Dad:
"I
tsokaymyl
ove"
Me:
"Ial
sohavesomethi
ngtosayt
oyoudaddy"
hel
ookedatmeasifheknewwhatI'
m aboutt
o
say
"I
namandl adaddyIlovehi m somuchIcan' t
i
magi nemyl i
fewithouthim.Hei ssoperf
ectfor
mei nmor ethenoneway .Hei sdif
fer
entfr
om
otherguysIhavedat edandhei scomingfrom
awel lmanneredfami l
y.Hel ooksuptohis
fatherandgranpahewi l
l t
reatmet hewayI
deservetobet r
eatedgivemeachancedaddy ,
giveusachancepl ease.Hecoul dbemysoul
mat eyaz"
Dad:"NoKonkey oucan'tdateInamandl ahei s
stil
lyounglett heboybeaboyandenj oyhislif
e.
Youar eturning26y ear
st hisyearsurelyyouar e
l
ooki ngforamanwhoi sgoingt otakecar eof
youandSbonga.Whowi l
l pr
otectyoubot h
Inamandl aisv er
yyoungf orthatheisst i
llaboy.
Beingacommi t
tedfat
hercomeswi thal otof
responsibil
i
tieslomthwaloomt hwesawona
awungangay e.Justwaituntily
oumeett heright
guyf oryoubabygi rl
"
Me:"
Say
sthemanwhoi
sengagedt
oa24y
ear
ol
d"
Dad:"
Sihl
eisawomanandInamandl
aisaguy.
I
'm amanIknowwhatI'
mtalki
ngabout
.
I
namandlaisnotr
eadyf
orsuchcommitment
"
Me:"Youdon'
tknowhim dadI
'
mt heonewho
knowhi myouhavetoseehowgoodhei swi
th
Sbonga.Hewil
lmakeagoodf at
her.Pl
ease
giv
eusy ourbl
essi
ngsall
owmeket omaket hi
s
mistake"
Dad:
"Idon'
twanttorepeatmysel
fwecan'
tbe
bot
hinar el
ati
onshi
pwi t
hsibl
i
ngs"
Me:"
Whynotmoswearet
ight
eni
ngt
hebond
bet
weent
hetwofami
l
ies"
Dad:
"Ther
e'snosucht
hingi
tsl
ookv
erybad"
Me:
"Say
swho?
"
Dad:
"Me!
"
Me:
"MxmI'
m notgoingt
obreakupwithI
naif
t
hatsmel
l
sunpleasantt
oyoucovery
ournose
f
ather
"
Hecl
enchedhi
sjawandsadnot
hing.
Welef
ttot
heHadebehousehol
dandwewer
e
wel
comednicel
y.
Zol
ani
'
sgreatgr
andmom:
"Uzol
ani
evuka!
"(hei
s
Zol
ani
'
sdupli
cat
e!)
Zol
ani
'saunt
y:"
It
'sapi
tyt
hathei
snother
eto
seehi
sson"
Zol
ani
'
sDad:
"I
tsaddenusal
l
"
Zol
ani'
ssist
er:
"Iknowmybr
otheri
snotdead
hewil
lcomebackoneday"
Zol
ani'
sDad:"MamakaSbongaIhopeyouar
e
awarethaty
ouhavet
ochangehisl
astname"
Me:
"Wi
thal
lduer
espectel
der
sIcan'
tdot
hat
"
Zol
ani'
saunt y
:"Why?HeisaHadebewhether
youl
ikeitornot.Phel
aaftert
hiscer
emonyt
his
meansthechildisourssohehavetobecal
led
byhi
sfather'
ssurname"
Me:"
But..
."DadshotmealooksoIendedup
agr
eeing.Theceremonywentwel
lmysonwas
i
ntr
oducedt ohi
sancestor
sandworeagoat '
s
ski
nonhi swri
stalt
houghhewaskindascar
ed
ofi
t.
Theygavehim al
otofpr
ezzi
esaf
terabeaut
if
ul
successf
ulcer
emonywehitt
heroad.
Mybabycall
edme"Mylove"Dadlookedatme
i
ntherearmir
rorwi
thr
ageIshif
tedmyey es
f
rom hi
m.
I
na:
"Howdi
ditgo?
"
Me:
"Hel
l
oMondi
se"Hechuckl
ed
I
na:
"Hel
l
ost
handwasami
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'mf
iney
ou"
I
na:
"I
'm al
sof
inebabyhowdi
ditgo"
Me:"
Greatbaby
..
.hei
snowt
heSbongawe
know"
I
na:
"Thatwonder
ful
Imi
ssy
ouguy
s"
Me:
"Wear
eont
hewaybacknow"
I
na:
"al
ri
ghtIl
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Met
oo"
I
na:
"Yout
oowhat
"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"3wor
ds"
I
na:
"Ohy
ouwi
thhi
m"
Me:
"Yeahl
etmef
eedy
ourl
i
ttl
eni
gga"
I
na:
"Okaymncwamncwa"Igiggl
edandhungup
t
henattendedSbongawhowastr
yingt
opull
up
mytop.
Ipul
ledoutmyboobandbr
eastfedhi
m.Upon
arr
ival
hedroppedmeatmyparent
shouse
Dad:
"Iwi
l
lsentMz
ett
obr
ingev
ery
thi
ngy
oul
eft
i
nmyhouse"
Me:"
DaddycomeonIneedy
oui
nmyl
i
fey
ou
can'
tdothat
"
Hesai
dnot
hinganddr
oveof
fleav
ingmei
n
t
ear
s.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
"Si
sKat !SisKat!"Icouldhearsomeonecr ying
mynamei nmydeepsl eepatfi
rstIt
houghti t
wasadr eam "Si
sKat !SisKatwakeup"Thi s
ti
met heyshookmer oughlyIopenedmyey es
andlookedatPr eewhowascr yi
ng.Ibl
inkedf or
sever
al ti
mest ryi
ngt ogetmysi ghtasmyey es
werekindabl urr
yandIwasf eeli
ngabitdizzy
Me:
"Pr
ee"Thatcameoutaswhi
sper
Pr
ee:
"Mama"shecr
iedhy
ster
ical
l
yIgotup
i
mmediat
ely
Me:
"Whati
sitbaby
?"
Pree:
"Mama"Shecr
iedl
ouderhol
dingher
tummy
Isl
i
doutofbedandengul
fedherwi
thahug
Me:
"Tal
ktomePr
ee"
Pree:
"Mama. .
mamai snotbreat
hing"Shesai
d
betweensobs.It ookherhandwewentt oher
mom' shut.Thereshewasl yi
ngsohel pl
essl
y
nexttocandles.Ikneel
edinfrontofherand
shookher
Me:"
Mama! "Shedi
dntfli
nchIf
eltherpul
sei
t
wasnotthereandherbodywassocol d.
"Mama!!
"Ishookherroughl
y.Myheartwas
beat
ingsofast
Pr
ee:
"Whati
sgoi
ngonsi
sKat
"
Me:"Goandf et
chwat erpl
ease"Shest oodup
andranout" Wakeupy oucan'tdothistous, t
o
mey ousti
l
l needtohelpmef indmymom.Ist il
l
needyourprotecti
on.Yourchil
drenneedy ou
pl
easedon'teventhinkofdoingthat"Islapped
hercheekl
ightly
Pr
eewal
kedi
nwi
thmyl
i
ttl
esi
sterbehi
ndher
.
ShegavemeajugofwaterIt
ookitandpour
ed
i
tinmypalmst
henspri
nkledi
toverMakhosi
's
face.
Idi
dItf
orcountlessti
mebutshedi
dn'
twakeup
myheartbeathardert
henbef
ore."
Thando
pl
easegotonextdoorandaskforhel
p"
Thando:
"Okay
"shedashedout
Me:
"Don'
tcr
yshewi
l
lbeokay
"
Pr
ee:
"Whyi
sshenotwaki
ngupsi
sKat
"
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt osayIpul
l
edherinmyar
ms
andcomfor
tedher.Thandowalkedi
nwi
tha
womaninherlat
ef or
ti
es.
Woman:"Ohyi
ningoMaKhanyi
lebaki
thi"She
knel
tdownandtouchedhershethenlooked
down.
Me:
"Whati
sit
?"
Woman:"
Im sor
rymychil
drenusesi
shi
yi
le
emhl
abeni
"(sheisdead)
Pr
eebur
sti
ntoal
oudpai
nful
sob
Pree:
"Nonot hat
'snott
rueMama!Mamawake
upplease!
!!
"sheshookhervi
gor
ousl
y
Woman:
"I
'mr
eal
lysor
rymychi
l
d"Sheengul
fed
Pr
eewit
hahug
Pree:
"Mamawakeuppleasedon'
tl
eav
eme.
Youcan'tl
eav
eus"Shesobbed
Mycheeksdampenedwi t
htear
sIcoul
dn'
t
bel
ieveithowcanshedi
esosuddenl
y?What
happened?Shecan'
tdi
eonmenow.Sheismy
onl
yhopet ofi
ndMama.
Me:"Maybewecanusehermutitosav ehershe
can'
tbedead"Istoodupandl
ookedf orthe
bott
leofmutishemademedrinklastnight
.
Woman:
"i
t'
stool
atenowshei
snol
ongerwi
th
us"
Ii
gnor
edherandt
ookt
hemut
iandmadePr
ee'
s
mom dri
nki
t
Me: "
Dri
nkitwil
lsavey ou.
..
youhav et
owakeup
Mamay oucan'
tdienow"mut ir
andownt he
sidesofhercheeks.Iopenedhermout hand
resusci
tat
eher"Breathyplease.Youhaveto
comebackbreat
hI'm beggi
ngy
ou"Icr
iedhow
canshel
eaveli
kethi
s.
Woman: "
Comebantwanabami.Ineedt
ocall
herexhusband"Weall
stoodupandheadedto
themainhouse."Wher
eisMncedisi
"Mncedi
si
i
sPr ee'
sbrot
herhei
sthesecondbornandheis
doingmatri
c.
Pr
ee:
"I
nhi
sbedr
oom"shesobbed
IledThandoandPreetot
heguestr
oom.My
sonwascryi
ng.Thandoat
tendedhi
m whi
l
eI
comfort
edPree.
West ayedinbedlist
eningtoPree'
sheart
wrenchingsobsasourt earsrandowntoo.I
t
waslikeIlostmymot hertoo.Thewomanwas
sosweetandshesav edmyl i
fe.Shedi
ed
befor
eIt hankedherproperl
y
Thedooropenedi
ncameamanwhol
ooked
exact
lyl
i
kePree
Pr
ee:
"Daddy
"Shej
umpeddownf
rom meand
wentt
othr
ewher
sel
fint
oherdad'
sar
ms
Pr
ee'
sDad:
"Pr
incessI
m sor
ry"
Pree'
s:
"Shei
snotdeaddaddyt
ell
meshei
snot
dead"
Shecr
ied
Pree'sDad:
"I
'mreall
ysorrymychild"Pr
eecried
l
ouderherkneesfailedherbutherdead
catchedherandpickedherupbeforeexit
ing
withher.
Thando:
"Si
swhatj
usthappen?
"shesobbed
Ipul
ledhertogetherwit
hmysoni nmyarms
andembr acedthem.Lif
eisunfai
rwhoisgoing
tostaywithPreeandMncedisi
?Apparent
ly
thei
rfat
herismar ri
edtoanot
herwomanand
whatIheardshei snotagoodwoman.
Me:"
LetmecallPKtofet
chusthef
ami
l
yis
comingt
heycan'tf
indusher
e"
PKfet
chedourphonesl
astni
ghtt
henhewent
backt
otheapart
mentasmuchashewantedt
o
holdmei nhisar
mswhenIsl eephecouldn'
tI
meanwehadt orespectMakhosi
'shouseand
besidesMakhosiwasbusyprotecti
nguswith
hermut i
lastni
ght.
Ipul
ledbackandreachedf
ormyphoneont
he
bedside.Heanswer
edonthet
hir
dri
ng
PK:
"Babe"Hesai
dwi
thhi
ssexysl
eepyv
oice
Me:
"Heybabypl
easef
etchus"
PK:
"Whati
swr
ongy
ouar
ecr
ying"
Me:
"Pr
ee'
smom i
sdead"Isobbed
PK:
"OhnooI
'
m comi
ng"
Me:
"Br
ingmycl
othespl
ease"
PK:"
Okayst
aycal
mI'm comi
ngy
ezwa"Inodded
wit
hmyheadasifhecanseeme.Wehungup
Me:"
Letmemaket
hebedPKi
scomi
ngt
opi
ck
usup"
Thando:
"Okay"Shegotupfr
om bedwithLami
andwalkedout.Imadethebedthenwenttot
he
ki
tchenIpour
edmy sel
fagl
assofwat
erand
gulpedal
lofi
tdown.
"You!!
"SaidMncedi siwalki
ngt owardsmeand
str
angledme" Youkill
edmymot herwit
hyour
badomens! !Ihateyou!
!"Igaspedforherbuthe
ti
ghtenhi shandsonmynecksuf f
ocati
ngme.
TearsfloweddownmycheeksIsawmyl i
fe
endingrightthereandthen.PKgr abbedhi
m
awayf r
om me
PK:
"Whatt
hehel
li
swr
ongwi
thy
ouboy
!!
"
Mncedi
si:
"Sheki
l
ledmymot
her
!"het
hen
wal
kedout
PK:
"Babear
eyouokay
?"
Icouldn'
trepl
yIwascoughingnonstopmy
throatwaspainf
ul.Hepour
edagl assofwat
er
forme
"
Her
e"Idr
ankt
hewat
er
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orsav
ingme"
PK:
"Igoty
oubaby
"Hewr
appedhi
sar
ms
ar
oundmepul
l
ingmecl
oset
ohi
schest
.
Wedr ovehomeal lt
hewayIwascr ying
Mncedisiwast ell
i
ngt het r
uth.Makhosi di
ed
becauseofmet heywant edt oki
l
lmeandshe
endedupt aki
ngt hefallforme.PKpi ckedme
andwalkedwi thmei nsidehegent l
yputmeon
mybedandcuddl edme" Babyit'
snoty ourfaul
t
youdidn'
tkill
her"
Me:
"Shewastr
yingt
ohelpmePKhowcanIl
i
ve
wi
thafactt
hatshedi
edsavi
ngmyl
if
e"
PK:"Youarebeingunfai
rtoyour selfbaby "
He
str
okedmybackunt i
lIdozedof f.
.Iwokeup
l
atertookabat handworeov esizet -
shirtonl
y
andsleepers.Mystomachwasgr umbling
demandi ngfood.If
oundPKpl ayingwithLami
i
nt helounge.
Me:
"Youwer
esupposet
oleav
etodayI
'
m sor
ry"
PK:"
It
scoolmylov
e..
.Ior
der
edPi
zzaI
'
m sur
e
youarehungr
y"
Me:"
Yes"Iwenttofet
cht
hepizzaandj
uice
fr
om kit
chenandjoi
nedmyboys"Wher
e's
Thando?"
PK:"
Taki
ngabat h"Hi
sphoner angIt
ookitf
rom
thegl
asstabl
e." Nodon'
t!"Il
ookedathi
mt hen
l
ookatthescreenofhisphone
Me:
"Youdon'
twantt
otal
ktoy
ourbr
other
"
PK:"
Uhm uhyeahwehadf i
ghtbutletme
answerhi
m"Igav ehim hi
sphone.Theytal
ked
andthei
rconver
stiondi
dn'tstr
ikemeaspeople
whoweremadateachot her.HehungIl
ooked
athi
m
"
Edwar
dlef
ttoov
erseasf
orgood"
Me:"
Wowsoher eall
ylef
twit
houtbot
heringt
o
fi
ndouti
fThandoisreal
lyhi
sdaught
er.Imean
shel
ookli
kehim.
"
PK:"
Idontunder
standwhyhei sdoi
ngthisbutI
thi
nklet
'sgi
vehimt i
me.Imeanhejustlosthi
s
wif
eheisgoingthrougharoughti
me"
Me:"Butst
il
ll
eav
ingi
snotanansweritsshows
nj
ethathedoesn'
twantThandonearher
.Nx
heissuchadoghowcouldhe?Thandowi l
lbe
hur
tshewhenshehearthis"
PK:"
Shei
sreall
ynottaki
ngherf
ri
endsmom
deat
hwelll
etsnott
ellhernow"
"
Idon'
tgi
veashitaboutt
hatsper
m donor
!"She
wal
kedpassedusgoingt
othekit
chen.
DayswentbyPKlefttheyneededhim athi
s
worksohehadgoback.Makhosi '
sdeat ht
ook
ahugetol
lonmeIf eelsoresponsi
bleforher
deat
h.Todaywasthedayoft hefuneral
.
Me:
"Cal
lmei
fther
e'semer
gency
"
Yol
anda:
"Okay
"Sheisbackherdaught
eri
sfi
ne
nowandI'
m grat
eful
.
Me:
"Thandowewi
l
lbel
ate!
!"
Thando:
"I
m comi
ngsis!
!"shescreamedf r
om
herbedr
oom.Secondsl
atersheemer gedwe
madeourwayoutanddroveoff.PKleftmehis
cart
ouse.
Uponarr
ival
wewerewel
comedbyMncedi
sI
andgr
oupofboys
Mncedisi
:
"Thener
vey
outwohav et
osety
our
st
inki
ngfeeti
nmymother
'shouse!
"
Thando:
"Mfe2asi
zangakuwesoawusi
yekewe
di
dn'tki
l
lyourmom"(wearenother
eforyou)
WesawPr ett
ycomingtousThandowentt
o
hugherbutshepushedher
Pr
ett
y:"
Whatar
eyout
wodoi
ngher
e?"
Me:
"Tosuppor
tyouPr
ett
y"
Shel
aughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughed
Pret
ty:
"Support
?Youarethereasonwhymom
i
sdeadandy oucomehertal
kaboutsuppor
t??
"
shescreamedhy st
eri
cal
Thando:
"That
'snott
rue.
..
"
Pret
ty:
"Leav
ebef
oret
her
estoft
hef
ami
l
ysee
you!
"
Me:
"But
..
."
Mncedisi:
"Ther
e'snobutHambani!"Hi
m and
hi
sboy sstart
edpicki
ngupt hest
oneswer an
astheythrewthem atus.Wegotinthecar
spedoff.Thewindscreenandwindowswas
broken.
•
NARRATED
•
"Whatthehel
l
...
"PausedMngomezul uheknew
bet
tertousethatki
ndoftonetoNkany ambaas
muchasangryhewas." Thegir
l i
ssti
l
lali
ve
Nkanyambahowi sthatpossi
ble?"
Nkany
amba:
"Shewaspr
otect
edbyasangoma"
Mngomezulu:"
Soy out
ellmethatsangomai s
power
fulthenyou"hetri
edtospeakcalmlyas
hecanandNkany ambasawhowangr yhewas
andheunderstoodbutheli
kedtherespecthe
wasgett
ingfrom him.
Nkany
amba: "
Power f
ulthenmeneversheissi
x
f
eetunderasImt al
kingtoyour
ightnow.She
wastr
yingtotakemyMakhosazanaawayf rom
meIcouldn'
tletherdothat"
Mngomezulu:
"Thatgi
rlneedtodieshewil
l
causet
roubl
eforus!Ican'tl
oseevery
thi
ngnot
nownotever!
"
Nkany
amba:
"Sowhatar
eyousay
ingt
ome?
"
Mngomezul
u:"
Doi
tagai
n"
NkanyambagaveMngomezul
uthepieceof
paperwhowrot
ethegi
rl
'
snamet henhandi
t
back.
Nkanyambat ookthepaperandsmear editwith
aredsti
ckymut i
,say i
nggibberi
shwordsonl y
hi
m couldunderstand.Thepieceofpaperf l
ared
upwithfi
re.Hethrewi tonthefloorhi
seyes
wideopenandhi sheartpoundingagainsthis
chest
.Nothingli
ket hi
shadhappenedbef ore.
Mngomezul
u:"
Whati
sitwhyt
hepaperi
s
bur
ning?
"
Nkany
amba:
"I
..
Ican'
treachoutt
oher
"
Mngomezul
u:"
Whatdoesthatsupposetomean
Nkany
amba??"heki
ndarai
sedhisvoice
Nkany
amba:
"Shei
sov
erpr
otect
ednow"
Mngomezulu:
"What
?Thatnonsense!
!Kil
lthat
bi
tchnow!
!"Hecoul
dn'
tholdhisangeranymore
Nkany
amba:"
Heyheyheywat
chhowy outal
kto
methegi
rli
sunt
ouchabl
enowleti
tgo!!
"
Mngomezul
u:"
Youknowwhati
satst
ake
Nkany
amba!"
Nkanyamba:
"I
'm sorr
ymyhandsar
etiednow
l
ettheboydeci
def orhi
msel
fwhodoeshewant
bet
weenthetwo"
Mngomezulu:
"Thatbull
shi
tIwil
ldowhatev
erits
t
akestogetri
doft hatgi
rlev
enifIki
l
lherwit
h
mybarehands!!
"
Nkany
amba:
"Goodl
uckwi
tht
hat
"
Mngomezul
u:"
Whatdoest
hatsupposet
o
mean?
"
Nkanyamba:"
Youthinkift
heMighty
Nkanyambafail
edy ouwil
lbeablet
odoit?Let
met el
lyouonethi
ngMngomezul uyouwil
l
nevercompetewit
ht hedeadtheyarev
ery
powerfult
henus!!
"
Mngomezulu:
"Thedeadyoumeanthe
sangoma?"Nkanyambanodded"
Mxm don'tt
ell
meaboutaspook!Sheisaghostshegotno
power!
!"
Nkany
ambachuckl
edathownaï
ve
Mngomezul
uis
Nkany
amba:
"Youar
esonaï
veMngomezul
ugo
now"
Mngomezul ustoodupwi thangerandwal ked
out.Hegotinhiscarandgr oanedi nfrust
rati
on
asmuchashedi dn'
twantt obelievewhat
tr
anspiredheknewt hatNkanyambai sone
powerfulwit
chdoctorifhecan'tkil
lthegir
l i
t'
s
obv
iousl
ycl
earnoonewi
l
l.
.
.
IHopeY'
al
lHav
ingAWondr
ousSunday
Ngini
thandaU-doNoNy
aInt
o
Engachazeki
Don'
tFor
getToLi
ke,
Comment&Shar
e
[
06/01,
08:
10]W:HappyBel
atedBi
rt
hday
Nosi
phoPenel
opéSambo
42
TWOYEARSLATER
SQALOKUHLE
•
Ithoughttaki
ngourrelat
ionshi
ptothenextstep
willspi
ceupourr el
ati
onshipbuti
tseemslike
heisslippi
ngoutofmyhandsormay beI
'
mj ust
readingthi
ngstoomuchImeanIev enwentas
farasgoingthroughhisphonewithouthi
s
knowl
edgeofcour
sebutIdi
dn'
tfi
ndany
thi
ng
suspi
ci
ous.
Ther ehavebeenal otoffightsintheset wo
yearsbet weenPhaksandIaboutwhat ?Iwon't
tellyoucozIreall
ydon'tknow.Theseday she
i
rkst hehelloutofmet rustmehedi dn'tdo
any t
hingIjustcan'
tstandhi ssight
.Mysi st
eris
onmycaseshesayI 'm pushingtheguyaway
from me.Imaybei nsecurebutser i
ousl yhe
relocatedthi
ssiderightbutnowIdon' tseehim
oftenthenIuset owhenhest ayatKZN.
Whatifheischeati
ngnomanI '
m sur
eIwoul d
hav
enot i
cedormay beohmydeepestf earhe
i
sfall
i
ngoutofl ov
et het
houghtal
oneisgivi
ng
mechestpains.
Tearsfal
lonthesidesofmyfaceasIwasly
ing
onmybedf acingtheceil
i
ng.Myhear
twastoo
heavyandIwasf eel
ingsi
ckther
eonl
ythi
ng
thatf
eltbet
tertodowast ocr
y.
Mydoorswungopenmymom wal
kedi
nIcr
ied
hardercozIknewsheisgoingt
oaskmewhy
am Icryi
ngandIwouldntknowhowt oanswer
thatcozIm notsur
ewhatam Icr
yingfor
.
Mom:"Kuhl
ewhati
swr
ong"Wi
thi
nasecond
shewasnextt
omepul
li
ngmetoherbosom
Me:
"Not
hingMama"
Mom: "
Hayi
babyy
ouar
ecr
yingi
tscan'
tbe
not
hing"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhyI
'
m cr
yingMama"
Mom:"HowcanIhel pyouifyoudon'
ttel
lme
whati
swr ong"Idi
dn'trepl
yIcri
edl
ouderwell
t
hatmeIcr yalotnotthatI'
m pr
oudofthatbut
i
thappens.
"
Ist
hatMngomezul
uboy
?"
Me:"
it
'sPhakamani
MamanotMngomezul
u
boy
"
Mom: "Wearetalki
ngaboutthesameperson
ai
n'twe?"Ichuckledt
hroughmyt ear
s."
Sshh
don'tcr
ywhateveriti
sitsgoingt
obeokay"I
stayedinherar mslet
ti
ngitoutunti
lIr
anoutof
tear
s."Itsbreaksmyhearttoli
stentoyou
cryi
nglikethiswhil
eIdon'
tknowwhat '
sthe
problem"
Me:
"I
tsnot
hingdon'
tst
ress"Ipul
l
edbackshe
wi
pedmytearswit
hherpalms
Mom: "
Talkt
omepl ease"shewhi
speredIcoul
d
hearpai
ninhervoi
ceandt hat
salastthi
ngI
wantedtodotohercozIknowhowsheget ."
Me:
"Real
l
yMamaIdon'
tknowwhyam Icr
ying"
Shelookedatmeasifsheisst
udyi
ngmet
hen
shesmiledsweet
ly"
Andthatsmil
e"
Mom: "
Letmer unyouabat hthenIwillmake
somethingf
ory outoeatokay"Inoddedshegot
upthenshedisappearedtothebathroom.
Secondslat
ershecamebackandki ssedmy
for
ehead"Iwil
lbri
ngy ourf
oodnow"Inodded
onceagainshewalkedout.
Idr
aggedmy
sel
fupandt
ookof
fmypj
sthen
wentt othebathr
oom whereItookabat h.I
fi
nishedanddr i
edbeforesmeari
ngl ot
iononmy
bodyt hensli
ppedint
oPhakst -
shir
t.JustasI
gotintobedmom goti nwit
hat rayofEnglish
Breakfast,
Itwastoomuchi fImustsaycozI
usuall
ydon'thaveanappeti
teinthemor nings
Me:
"Areyougoi
ngtoeatwi
thme?
"shepl
aced
t
hetrayonmylaps
Mom:
"NobabyI
'
m neededatwor
k"
Me:
"Thi
sfoodi
stoomuch"Shesmi
l
ed
Mom: "
Youneedtoeatal
loft
hisf
oodt of
eel
bett
er"Sheki
ssedmyli
psandwalkedout.I
tookmyphoneanddial
edLebomyf r
iend
Lebo:
"Wel
e"(
Twi
n)
Me:"
Howmanyt
imesdoIhavetotel
lyout
o
st
opcal
li
ngmet
hat"shel
aughed
Lebo:
"Buty
ouar
eat
winnj
e"
Me:
"Noty
our
skodwa"
Lebo:
"Okaysor
ryMakeMngomezul
u"
Me:
"That
'sbet
ter
..
.howar
eyou"
Lebo:
"Sl
ayi
ngal
lthewayhuny
a?"
Me:
"I
'm notf
eel
i
ngwel
lbooIwon'
tmakei
tto
t
heSAFTAS"
Lebo:
"ComeonweleIwasl
ooki
ngf
orwar
dto
gowit
hy ounj
ena"
Me:
"Youcanst
il
lgowi
thoutme"
Lebo:
"ButIwant
edgowi
thy
ou"
Me:"
I'
m sorr
yloveIwi
l
lsendMj
topi
ckup
Konke'
sdress"
Lebo:
"When?
"
Me:
"Now"
Lebo:
"OkayIwi
l
lwai
tforhi
m"
Me:"
I'
m sor
ryokayIpr
omi
set
omakei
tupt
o
you"
Lebo:
"Ther
e'sonl
yoneSAFTASawar
dsev
enta
y
ear
"
Me:"
Wewi l
lgotogetheronotherawar
dsev
ent
don'
tbesadplease"shesi
ghed
Lebo:
"Okay
"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Lebo:"Il
ovey
outoo"WehungupokayIfel
tbad
buttherewasnothi
ngIcando.Ical
l
edMjto
comei nmybedroom andhedidhewasst
il
lon
hi
spj s.
Mj:
"Goodmorni
ngsi
s"Heki
ssedmyf
orehead
bef
oresi
tt
ingonmybed
Me:
"Yougood"
Mj:
"Yeahexceptt
hatIwasenj
oyi
ngmy
br
eakfastwhenyoucal
led"
Me:"
Sor
rycany ougof
etchKonke'
sdressf
rom
LeboIl
efti
ttherey
est
erday
..
."hecutmeoff
Mj
:
"Sor
ryIhav
epl
ans"
Me:
"ComeonMJwhatpl
ans?
"
Mj
:
"I'
m humany
ouknow"
Me:
"Mxmtheplansy
oushouldbehavingnowi
s
t
ogotoschool
.YazIdon'
tunder
standwhyyou
t
ookagabyear
"
Mj:
"Idon'
twanttobestuckwit
hacourseIdon'
t
wantIm st
il
ldeci
dingonwhattodo"
Me:
"Whatwer
eyoudoi
ngf
ort
hel
ast12
mont
hs?"
Mj:
"Si
sdon'tstar
tpl
ease.Dadgavemea
l
ectur
eIdon'tneedyour
stoo.Youguy
sdon'
t
under
standonlymom does"
Me:
"Cozshespoi
lyour
ott
en"
Mj:
"Dur
rhI'
m herl
astborn"shesai
dwithagi
rl
'
s
voi
cefl
appi
nghiseyelashesIl
aughed
Me:
"I
fsheknewhal
foft
het
hingsy
oudommh"
Mj
:
"Comeonnowdon'
tpul
lthatcar
d"
Me:"
Wear et
ir
edofbai
l
ingy
ououtMj
cozy
ou
nev
erlear
n"
Mj
:"
OkayfineIwi
l
lgot
oLebowhoknows
maybeshecanbemythang"
Me:
"Shei
swayol
dtheny
ou"
Mj
:
"I'
m 19shei
s24"
Me:
"Noboyyouar
est
il
l18unt
ilt
he8of
Nov
ember"
Mj
:
"Mxm Iwi
l
lgowi
thy
ourcar
..
."Icuthi
m of
f
Me:
"That
'sabi
gno!
"
Mj
:
"Comeonsi
s"
Me:
"Mj
nomanwhat
'
swr
ongwi
thy
ourcar
?"
Mj
:"
It
snotaPorschedur
rh"Her
ehegoesagai
n
wi
thafemal
evoice
Me:
"Youknowwhaty
oudi
dtomycart
hel
ast
t
imeyoustol
eit
"
Mj
:
"Pr
ett
ypl
ease"hepout
ed
Me:"
Okayf
ineaf
terf
etchi
ngt
hedr
esst
akei
tto
Konke"
Mj:
"Okaysoi
tst
ruey
ouarepr
egnantj
udgi
ngby
t
histoomuchbr
eakf
ast
"
Ichokedonmyf
oodandcoughedhar
d.
Me:
"Jesusy
ouwantt
oki
l
lme.Iai
n'
tpr
egnant
"
Mj:
"WellIhear
dmom talki
ngt
ograndmaont
he
phone"heshruggedhi
sshoul
der
s
Me:
"Hayhayhayshei
sly
ing"
Helaughedandwalkedoutl
eav
ingmewitha
t
houghtthatnev
ercrossmymind.Ohshi
i
it!
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwokeupalonemychocol at
ecakewasnot
nextmewellyeahPKandIar est i
l
l t
ogetherour
l
oveisgett
ingstr
ongereveryday.Hei sallI
wantinaguyofcoursethewer efightsthere
andther
ethathowrelat
ionshipareright?
Dur
ingt
hatpr
ocessofl
ovi
nghi
m Il
ear
ntt
o
tr
usthim wit
hmyal l
toapointthatIst
opped
workingandstudiedwhi
lehet akecareofus.
Wellheispayingformyfees.I'
m doingmy3rd
yearatWitsyoudon'tev
enhav etoaskwhat
coursecozyouknowwhatdoIl ove.Onemore
yearlef
tthenyippee.
Heboughtusahouseev ent houghIwas
agai
nstt
hathenev erl
i
stenshamesoIchose
somethi
ngsmal lt
hatwil
l accommodat eallof
usaft
erallwearej
ustaf amilyof4.Lastyear
onmybirthdayheboughtmeacarPr i
xPeugoet
508.
Li
fehavechangedf
orthegreat
estIfImustsay
al
thoughweneverf
oundMamaorany thi
ngthat
l
eadtohersowedecidedtoacceptthatshei
s
dead.
Thandopassedwit
h7dist
inct
ionsasexpect
ed
butshei
stakingagaby
earcany oubel
ievet
his
gi
rl
.
Ideci
dednotf
ightwi
thhershehav
eher
reasonsfortaki
ngagaby earbuthonest
lyI
thinki
tsawast eoft
ime.TboseandInamanj e
sisaseyi
zinj
azegame.
Lat
oyaandIar
estil
lfr
iendsbutwearenot
cl
oseasbef
orethegir
l hur
tmyguyli
kereal
l
y
badman.
Mybabyboyhav egrownbaki t
hiheisacute
chubbyli
tt
leboy.I
tsfreakyhowhekeepl ooking
l
ikehisdad.ever
yday.Yeeeyheisthesmal l
er
versi
onofMzwakhet hatassholeIwishherot
i
nhell.
Any wayIslidoutofbedandmadei tbef
ore
taki
ngashower .Af
tershoweringIdri
ed,
l
ot i
onedandputonPK' St -
shir
tonlyandhis
push- i
ns.Iti
edmyweav eintoabunt henwent
downst air
s.Oneofmyf avouri
tesongwas
playingSuperLovebyTinashe.
PKwasmakingbreakfastwear i
nganapr on
onl
yandhissweatpants.Iwenttohi m si
ngi
ng
al
ongsuperl
oveanddanci ng.Ipressedmybutt
againsthi
sguyandtwerked.Hegr
oanedjust
thenLami camer
unningandThandofol
lowing
behindhim.
Me:
"Nor
unni
ngLami
"
Lami
:
"Auntyi
sscar
ingmeKit
Kat"heof
tencal
l
methatcozhi
sfat
hercal
lmethat
Me:
"Iwi
l
lki
ckher
"
Lami:
"YhodaddyyourPisbigt
oday
"Al
lour
eyeswentdownonPK ThandoandIbur
sti
nto
l
aughterasPKranupstair
s
Thando:
"Poorbuti
"Shewentt
othef
ri
dgeand
tookbot
tledwater
.
Lami:
"Lamiwantt
oki
ssKitKat"Ipi
ckedhim
andpoutedmyli
pshehel
dmyf acewithhi
sti
ny
handsagavemeawetkiss."LamiloveKit
Kat
toomuch"
Me:
"Ki
tKatl
oveLami3much"Hesmi
l
ed"
What
doy
ouwantt oeat
"
Me:
"l
ussuan"(
Russi
an)Myboyl
over
ussi
ans
youguys.Iputhi
m onahi
ghchai
rand
cont
inuedwherePKlef
tof
f
Thando:
"Yhomyhead"Shepressedherhead
wit
hherthumbandmiddlef
inger
Me:
"Thatwhathappenwheny
ougocl
ubbi
ng"
Thando:
"Comeonsisl
etmeenj
oymyli
feI
'
m no
l
ongerachil
dnow"shedr
ankwater
Me:"
AslongasI'm ol
dert
henyou,youwil
l
al
waysbeachild.Ishoul
dtel
lPKtocutof
fyour
al
lowancecoznowy oudon'
tknowwhattouse
i
tfor"
Thando:
"Si
scomeonpl
easedon'
tdot
hat
"
Me:"
Iagreedf
oryoutot
akeagabyearbecause
It
houghtyouknowwhatyouwantbutnowyou
ar
eprovi
ngmewr ong."
Thando:
"I
'mj
ustenj
oyi
ngl
i
fe.
..
"Icutherof
f
Me:
"I
'm notst
oppingy oubutyouareenjoyi
ngit
r
eckl
esslyThando!!Lastni
ghtyoucoul
dn'teven
wal
kyouwer esosl oshedl
uckyKBandPr eeare
goodf
ri
endswhati
fsomeonet
ooky
ouandhad
hi
swaywithy
ouhuh??"
Thando:"
I'
m sorr
yI'
mr eall
ysorr
yIwill
bemor e
car
efulnextti
medon'tcry"Shewalkedtome
andhuggedme.Ididn'treal
izeIwascryi
ng."
I'
m
sorr
yslayQueen"shestrokemyback
Lami
:
"DaddyKi
tKati
scr
ying"Wepul
l
edback
PKcamet
omeandl
ookedatme
PK:
"Whatdi
dyoudot
oherThando?
"
Thando:
"Not
hingbut
i"
PK:"
Shei
scr
yingnje"Hepul
l
edmei
nhi
sar
ms
"Whomadeyoucrybaby"
Me:
"I
'mf
inebaby
"Ipul
l
edbackhewi
pedmy
t
ear
s
Lami
:
"Sol
l
ymamami
"(Sor
rymommy
)
Me:"
Thanky oumyboy"Igav
ehim ahug."Si
nce
youleavi
ngtomorr
owchocolat
ecakelet
'sgo
outall4ofusyouknow"Heisgoi
ngtoCape
Townf ort
hewhol
emonthit
sabusinesstri
p.I
wonderhowwil
lIcopewi
thouthi
spresencefor
thi
slong.
Thando:
"Soundsper
fectt
ome"
Lami
:
"Lami
wil
lgeti
cecl
eam mommy
?"(
cream)
Me:
"Yes"
Hesmi
l
edwi
del
y
PK:"Wearegoi
ngoutthen"Heki
ssedmyli
ps
thenIdi
shedupforev
eryone.Weateov
era
conver
sati
on.
Whenwef
ini
shedThandowashedt
hedi
shes.
Lit
tl
ebitlaterwepr
eparedourselv
esanddrove
tothelake.Wehadpicnic,
itwassof i
ne,
so
beauti
ful.Wetookalotofpict
uresandhadfun.
Whil
ePKwasbusypl
yi
ngwit
hLami whokept
f
all
i
ngever
ynowandthenaguycametous,
meandThandot
hati
s
Thando:
"Chi
l
lisauce"Shedr
ool
ed.
Guy
:"Hel
l
oladi
es"
Us:
"Hey
"
Guy
:"I
'
m Lef
a"
Thando:"
I'
m Thandoandthisi
sKat,
Khethokuhl
eImean"Ilookedather
Lefa:
"Nicetomeety ouladies"HetookThando'
s
handandki sseditthent ookmyhandanddi d
thesamebuthedi dn'tl
etgoofi t
."Youare
beauti
fulKhethokuhle"Iblushed
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
PKcamewit
hLamiinhi
sarmsIcoul
dtel
lhe
wasmadbythel
ookofhi
sface.
PK:
"Sur
endoda"(
Yesman)
Theguyl
etgoofmyhand
Lef
a:"
Sur
e"
PK:
"WIFEYOURsoni
sti
rednowweshoul
dget
goi
ng"
Me:
"Nopr
obl
em baby
"Hegav
emeasmooch
byt
hetimeweendedt
heki
sshewasgone.I
t
wasbecomi
ngchi
ll
ynow
Lami
:
"Ki
tKatLami
isf
eel
i
ngcol
d"
Me:
"Wearegoi
nghomenowbaby"It
ookhim
weal
ll
eft
.Westar
tedatSt
eer
stobuydinner
.
Byt
heti
mewegothomeLami wasasl
eep.
Thando:"
I'
mtiredIwi
lltakeanap"shesai
d
goingupIfol
lowedherandwentt oLami'
s
bedroom.IputhimtosleepthenIwenttomy
bedroom.Iwassot i
redIwantedtotakealong
soothi
ngshowerandsl eep.
IfoundPKsitt
ingontheedgeofthebed
cl
enchinghi
sjaw.Iignor
edhim andst
art
ed
undressi
ng.
PK:
"Whatwast
hatal
labout
?"
Me:
"What
?"
PK:
"Don'
tmakemeaf
ool
Kit
Kat
"
Me:
"I
'm notsur
ewhaty
out
alki
ngabout
"
PK:
"Youwer
efl
i
rti
ngwi
tht
hatguy
!"
Me:
"WhatnoIdi
dn'
t"
PK:
"Isawy
ouumoy
izel
aumoy
imoy
i"
Me:"Ahy
angi
j
wayel
aphelamawungibi
za
ngomoyimoy
iwhatwasIsupposetodo?
Frownwhent
heguyisbei
ngnicetome"
Iwasnowl
eftwi
thmyunder
gar
ment
s.He
st
oodupandmarchedt
ome
PK:
"I
sthathowy
out
alkt
omenow?
"
Me:
"Youar
etheonewhost
art
edPK!
"
PK:
"Don'
tyel
latme!
"
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom mehuh?
"
PK:
"Tost
opent
ert
aini
ngboy
s!"
Me:"I
'm notenter
taini
ngthem.Yourjeal
ousis
star
ti
ngt obeat urnoffnowIfIknewbetterI
'
d
sayyouar echeati
ng!"
Hesmashedhisli
psonmineandki
ssedme
hungr
il
yIpushedhi
m hegr
abbedmeand
pushedmeagai
nstt
hewal
l
PK:"Iloveyouokay !AndIgetf ucki
ngjealous
whent hesehornyguy sshowi nt
erestinyou
excusemef orlovi
ngy ousomuch! !"Hekissed
meagai nthi
stimeIr espondedwi t
hpassi onwe
toreeachot her'
sclothesandf uckedohy eswe
didn'tmakel ov
eandi tf el
tunbeli
evably
amazi ng."Il
ove..
.y
ou. .
so..muchmyKi t
Kat "he
panted
Me:"
Lov
e..
.y
ou.
.t
oo.
..
mychocol
atecake"
I
pant
ed.
Wef
all
int
osl
umber
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Ihear
dwhisperesinmysleepthenkissesall
overmyf
aceIj ustknewthesetwower etr
ying
towakemeupandIwassot i
redi
nt hedawnI
wokeupwithInapenetrat
ingme.Inamandla
andIaresti
lltoget
hergoshheisamazingI
haveneverfel
tthishappyinmyli
feasmuchas
I'
m happywithInait
'sbreaksmyhear
tthatmy
daddisownedme.
Forthesepastt woy earshavebeenhar d
withouthim Ihav etriedtomaket hingsr i
ght
betweenusbuthedoesn' twantmeasl ongas
I
'm withInaev enSi hlefail
edtomakepeace
betweenus.I iqini
l
ei khandalaloyamunt u.Ina
havebeenaski ngmet omeethi sfamilybutI'
m
notreadyy et.Thatf amilyhatemehowwi l
lI
facethem I'm savingmy sel
ffordisappointment
.
Iknowsomehow, somedayIhav et omeetthem
cozourrelati
onshipisreall
yserious.
Nevert
helesslif
ehav ebeengr eatI'
m backin
thi
sacti
ngt hi
ngwi thtoomuchf orce.Iwil
lbe
shooti
ngamov iewithTylerPerryohy eahbaby
i
thasalway sbeenmydr eam afterthateven
Godcancal lmeIwi llgl
adlyleaveokayI '
m
j
okingmysonst il
lneedme.
Me:"Mh-mh"Icover
edmy sel
fwithablanketI
fel
tsomeonepulli
ngitaway"Sbongamaan!!!
"I
heardgiggl
esIopenedmyey esandlookedat
them t
heylookedatmebacksheepishly.
Sbonga:
"Aki
esmommy
"(Sor
rymommy
)
Me:
"I
namandl
areal
l
ynow"
Sbonga:
"I
t'
snotme"
Me:
"Yout
woar
ebor
ingme"
I
na:
"Wel
ovey
out
oobaby
"Heki
ssedme
Me:
"Hai
suka"
I
na:
"Wemadebr
eakf
astgetup"
Me:"OkayI
'm coming"Iki
ssedSbonga'
s
for
eheadthentheybothwalkedout.Igotup
andwenttothebat hr
oom andwashedmyf ace
andmymout h.
Isl
i
ppedintoashortdr
essandsleeper
sthen
wentdownstai
rs.Wewerei
nmyhousebyt he
way.Aromafil
l
edmynostri
lsasIwentdown.
Ina:
"Breakf
astisser
vedma' am"Hepull
eda
chai
rformeIsatdownt henhepushediti
n.
Sbongawassi tti
ngnexttome.Inaser
vedme
myf oodweat e.
"Mybrot
heri
sonhi swayheisbri
ngi
ngy
our
dressar
eyoureadyfort
oni
ght"
Me:"
Ohy esbaby"DidIment i
onthatIhav
e
beennominatedforbestact
ressandtheevent
i
stonight
I
na:
"Thatgol
denhor
nisy
our
sbaby
"
Me:
"Yout
hinkso"
I
na:
"Iknowso"
Me:"
Ihaveascat
terbrai
nlatel
ydidIinf
ormed
Sbonga'
snannyt
oav ail
hersel
ftoni
ght"
I
na:
"Yesbaby
..
.y
ouknowt
hatIl
ovey
our
ight
?"
Me:
"Yesl
oveIknow"
I
na:"
Iwanttotakeourr
elat
ionshi
ptot
henext
l
evelKonkeandIcan'
tdothatify
ouhaven'
t
metmyf
ami
l
y"
Me:
"IknowbabyI
'
m scar
edt
heywon'
twel
come
menicel
y"
I
na:
"Theywon'
tdot
hatt
heyar
egoodpeopl
e"
Me:
"Buty
ouknowt
hehi
stor
ybaby
"
I
na:
"Soyout
ell
i
ngmet
haty
ouwi
l
lnev
ermeet
t
hem?"
Me:
"NoI'
m notsayi
ngthatbabyIwi
l
lmeet
t
hem gi
vemeabi toft
ime"
I
na:
"Okay"Wefi
nishedeati
ngwebothwashed
t
hedishes.Hi
sli
ttl
ebrotherar
ri
ved"
Boy
"
Mj:
"Suregr
ootman"Theypumpedf
ist
s"mkami
"
Igi
ggledheli
kecal
li
ngmet hat
Me:
"Hel
l
oMj
"Wehugged.
Mj:
"Nt
wanay
amisur
e"HeshowedSbongahi
s
t
humbwhodidt
hesame
Sbonga:
"Sur
ent
wana"
Me:
"Doy
ouwantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink"
Mj:
"NoI
mf i
net
hankyou.Ihav
etobe
somewher
eact
ual
ly"
Me:
"Okay
"
InaandSbongawal kedhim out.It
ookthecover
andwentupst ai
rs.Iunzippedi
tandlookedat
mydr essdzangSqalokuhleknowherthingmos
i
tlookmor eexquisi
tethanthetimeIwenttof
it
i
t .
.
It
wirl
edandlookedmysel
finthemir
rorwowI
l
ookedexqui
sit
e,el
egant
,breat
htaki
ng.
Lwazi
:"
Youlookamazi
ng"Ismi
l
edNol
wazi
is
myfri
endwemetinCapeTownandwegot
al
ongverywell
.
Me:
"Thanky
ousweet
y"If
eltt
ear
sthreat
ening
meIwishdadandmyparent
swerehere.
Lwazi
:
"Don'
tcr
y"Wehugged
"
Babetheli
mois.
..
"sai
dInaashewalkedinhe
l
ookedgoodinhi
ssuit
."Wowwifeyy
oul ook
br
eat
htaki
ng"
Me:"
Thanky
ouhubby
"Het
ookmyhandsand
ki
ssedme
I
na:
"Let
'sgonow"Iwentt
oki
ssmysont
henwe
l
eft
.
Uponar r
ival
Inat
ookmyhandwemadeour
entr
ance.Cameraswer
efl
ashi
ngal
lri
ghtand
center
.
"
Greet
ings"sai
dSi
nazof
rom Real
Goboza
Me&I
na:
"Gr
eet
ingsSi
nazo"
Si
nazo:
"Youl
ooki
ngr
avi
shi
ng"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Ismi
l
ed
Si
nazo:
"Congr
atul
ati
onsf
ort
henomi
nee"
Me:
"Thanky
ousomuch"
Sinazo:
"Andwhoi
sthi
sgent
lemannextt
oyou"
shegiggledl
i
ght
ly
Il
ookedatI
nawhohel
dmyhandt
ight
er
Me:"
Thisi
smyspeci
alsomebody
Nkosi
namandl
aSi
thol
e"
Sinazo:
"MmhI'
m gl
adtomeety
ouherspeci
al
somebody"I
nachuckl
ed.
Af
tert
hatt
heeventst
arted.Myheartt
hudded
wheni
twasti
met oannouncethebestact
ress
"
Thebestact
ressi
s..
..
"
I
nasqueezedmyhand"
Kuhl
ekonkeZwane!
"
Ist
oodupandwentt
ocol
l
ectmygol
denhor
n.
Me:"Uhm wow!"Ifannedmy self"
Wher ecanI
beginuhm fi
rstofalll
etmet hanktheman
above"Ilookedup" Thanky ouLor d"Ishi
ft
ed
myey estotheaudience"Iwantt othanksis
Anne,theteam, myfansandev ery
onewhogot
i
nvolve.Ial
sowantt othankmyf ri
end, myson
andmyspeci alsomebody .Iloveyouguy s.
Daddyifyouarewat chingthisisforyouIlove
you"Irai
sedupt hegoldenhor nandwentback
tomyseatt earsfl
oodingmyey es.
Ina:
"I
t'
sokaydon'
tcr
y"Hepr
essedmet
ohi
s
chest.
Wedeci dedtoski
ppedt heaf
terpar
tyandwent
home.Hepi ckedmeupandwentwi t
hmet o
ourbedroom.Thel i
ghtweredimmed, r
oses
scat
teredont hef
loorandonthebed.
Me:
"GodI
namandl
athi
sisbeaut
if
ul"
I
na:
"Notl
ikeyoubaby.
"Hekissedmesodeeply
wemadenothingbutamaz
inglove.Myhear
t
wasfi
l
ledwit
hj oy
.
Me:
"Lov
eyouhubby
"
Ina:
"Lov
eyout
oowi
fey
"Isl
eptpeacef
ull
yinhi
s
arms.
•
MZWAKHE
•
Myli
fetookanot
hertur
nevery
thi
ngisfal
l
ing
apar
tnothi
ngisgoi
ngwell
.Letmetakeyou
backal
itt
lewel
lPearl
andIgotmarr
iedandshe
gavebi
rt
ht oababygi
rlwenamedherLwandl
e.
Weboughtabeaut i
ful house.Everyt
hingwas
goingwellkumnandikuwushukel a.Idon'
tknow
whenandhowbutwi thinablinkofaney eIwas
suspendedforwhatexact l
yIdon'tknow.
I'
m nolongerwor kingandPearlistheonewho
i
stakingcareofev erythi
ng.Sheremindmeof
howpoorIwaswhenshef i
ndmeIdi dn'
teven
haveanunderwear .Letmejustbeclearmy
marri
ageisfall
ingapar tsoismylif
e.Lwandle
i
stheonlythingthatmakesense
Igulpeddownt
helastshotandt ookmycar
keysohImeanmywi f
e'scarkey sanddrove
home.Iwassofucki
ngdr unk.Uponarr
ival
I
coul
dhearmoansandgr oanscomi ngf
rom our
bedroom.
Iopenedthedoorwithtoomuchalmost
droppi
ngonthef l
oorasIwasdrunkashel
l
.My
eyesweren'
treadyforwhatt
heysaw.Mybest
fr
iendKennywasbangingmywif
elikenobody'
s
businessherl
egsf
lyi
ngontheai
rli
kearoasted
chicken
Me:
"Pear
l!
"Theybot
hjumpedupi
nshock
Kenny
:"Mzwakhebr
ait
snotwhaty
out
hinkI
'
m
sor
ry"
Pear
l:
"Don'
tapol
ogi
semyl
ovehi
sti
mei
sov
er"
Me:
"Whaaaat
?"
Pearl
:"
Isi
khat
hisakhosesi
phel
il
ebabat hat
ha
amasakanawakhougodukeemzi niwami!"
(Yourt
imehasranouttakeyourragsandleav
e
myhouse!)
Me:"
WhatthefuckPear
lthi
sismyhouseI
'
m
notgoi
nganywhere!
"
Pear
l:
"Yourhouse?Youboughtitwithwhat
money?Don'tmakemel aughwena"She
l
aughed"Leaveuswithpeace.Babywherewere
we"Shegotont opofKennyanddirect
edhis
guyi
ntoherwhileki
ssinghi
m.Angerwoul dbe
anunder
stament
!!
[
06/01,
08:
11]W: Nosi
phoPenel
opé
Sambo
43
MZWAKHE
•
Theycarr
iedonf uckingandmoani ngli
keI
wasn'
tthereandt hatdrovemei nsaneIcoul
dn'
t
hel
pmy selfbutgrabbedPear lawayshefall
downont hefloorthenIattackedKenny.
Me:
"It
rust
edy
ou!Yousonofabi
tch!
"
Pear
l:"
StopitMzwakhey ouaregoingtoki l
l
him!
!"shetri
edtopullmeawayf r
om Kennybut
Iwastoostrongeachanev erypuncht hat
l
andedonhi sfacemadehi m cryl
ikeli
ttl
ebitch!
IswearIhaveneverbeenangr yli
kethatinmy
wholeli
fe."
Mzwakhe!!"
Hisfacewascover
edwi t
hbloodsowasmy
handIgotupfr
om him ."
Kennyarey
ouokay
"
Shehel
pedhi
m up
Me:"
LeavemyhouseKennybef
oreIcutt
his
l
it
tl
ethi
ngyouti
ckl
ingmywifewit
h!"
Pearl
:
"Heyheyt
hisismyhouseheisnotgoing
anywher
eyouarethewhoisleav
ingher
e!!
"
Me:"Uzokhot
hal
akuqala"(
youwi
l
lli
ckher
efi
rst
)
Ishowedhermyelbow
Pearl
:
"Thi
sismyhouseMzwakheIboughti
t
wit
hmyownmoneyandnowIwanty outo
l
eave!"
Kennyt ookhisclothesandgotout"Don'
tgo
Ken"Hei gnoredhim andwalkedout."
Yousee
whaty ouhav edonenow!Ihopehel ayan
assaultchargeagainstyoubast
ard!Yousee
thatenergyyouwast edonbeati
ngKeny ou
shouldhavekepti tfort
helongwalktoyour
rustedoldshack!"
Me:
"Wher
edoy
out
hinkIshoul
dgohuh?
"
Pear
l:
"Idon'
tcar
e!"shepul
l
edar
obeandwor
e
i
t.
Me:"
Whyar
eyousocr
uel
huh?Whatdi
dIdot
o
you?
"
Pearl
:
"Ngikhathel
eukondl
ananendoda
endal
a!!
"(I'
m sickandt
ir
edoftaki
ngcar
eofan
oldman!!
)
Me:"
Butbabyy
ouknowyourf
athersuspended
meIwil
lgobackt
oworkwhenmysuspensi on
i
t'
sover"
Shel
aughedl
i
ker eal
l
ylaughedhol
dingher
st
omachandthatannoyedthehel
loutofme
Pearl
:"
LookatmeMzwakhedoy outhinkIwil
l
haveahusbandwhosei smyf at
her'
sPA?You
gott
abecr azyIgotreputat
iontoprotect.Ev
en
mycolleaguesarelaughi
ngatme. "
Me:"Ohsoi
tslikethatnowIwaswi thyouwhen
youweresti
ll
st udy
ingnowt hatyouarea
psychol
ogi
stI'
m somesor tofpieceoftr
ash!
"
Pear
l:
"Youar
ereal
l
yani
diot
,mest
udy
ingdi
dn'
t
meanIwaspoorl
etmer
emi ndyouthatt
hej
ob
youscr
ewedupIf
oundi
tforyoufr
om my
dear
estfat
her
"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tscr
ewup!
"
Pearl
:
"YoucametoworkdrunkMzwakhenot
oncenortwi
ce3fucki
ngti
meswhatwasmy
dadsupposetodo?Youmesseduphisbi
g
deal
!"
Me:"I
t'
sally
ourfaul
tyouaretheonewhowas
str
essingmewi t
hyourwhori
ngway sl
i
ttl
edi
dI
knewy ouarescr
ewingmybestfri
end!
"
Pearl:
"Andhedoesmegoodshame"If li
nched
myf i
stsandbitemytoungefuri
ousl
y."
What?
Youwantt obeatmeupohpl easedobutit
sthe
tr
uth.HisDdoesitforme.Youarebigfor
nothi
ngIst i
ll
can'
tbeli
eveyoufuckedme
pregnantwit
hLwandle"
Me:"
Youmakemewannav omit
!Ididn'
tknow
youaret
hissel
fi
shdev
iousbit
ch!"
Pearl
:"
Howy ouwouldhaveknowndear
husbandyourmainfocuswasthelavi
shli
fey
ou
weregonnahav ewhenyouarewit
hme.You
di
tchedtheloveofyourl
if
eformoney!Youar
e
nomanbutanexcuseofaman!Getoutofmy
si
ghtyouruglysel
fmakemesi ck!
!"
Me:"I
fyouthr
owmeoutwhatwi
l
lyousayt
oour
daughter
!"
Pearl
:"
Iwi
lltel
lherwhatauselesspatheti
c
spi
nlessi
diotherfat
heri
sandI m gladherand
Kennygetalongverywel
l.
..
."Icutheroff
Me:"
Iwontal
lowt
hatbast
ardpl
ayDaddyt
omy
chi
l
dnever!
"
Pear
l:
"Shameyouwi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
.Leav
e
Mzwakhehawu!"
Itookmysport
bagandpackedmyclothes
"Makesurey
ouleav
ebehindtheonesIbought
foryou"
Me:
"Asi
fyouhav
esenseoff
ashi
on.Ionl
ywor
e
t
hoset
omakey
ouhappy
"Shel
aughed
Pearl
:
"Youaregoi
ngtomissthem wheny
ou
havenothi
ngtowear
!"Izi
ppedmybag
Me:"
I'
m comingbackf
ormydaughtery
ouar
e
notgonnat
akeherawayfr
om me!"
Pear
l:
"Hahahahawi
thwhat
?"
Me:"Nx!"Iwalkedtomydaught er'sbedr
oom
shewassl eepingpeacefull
y."Iloveyouangel
andI'm goi
ngt ocomebackf ory ou"Iki
ssedher
for
eheadandl eftt
owhereIdon' tknowIguess
I'
m sleepi
ngint hepipestoni
ght .
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
I
'mfewmi l
esawayf r
om mygoal
sin2to3
year
sIwill
beliv
ingthedr
eam.Touchi
ng,
heal
ing,
enter
tai
ninganduni
ti
ngpeopl
ewit
hmy
music.
Ican'twaitguysallt
hankst ohisparentsfor
bearingthisguyIcall
myman.I fitwasn'tfor
him Iwoul dn'
tbefi
vemi nutesfrom glor
y.Ihave
tothankt hem per
sonall
ywel lwhenhedoes
i
ntroducemet ohisparents.Ionlyknowhis
brother,hiswifeandtheirkidstheyareloving
people.
Ialsothankmy sel
fforgi
vinghim achancethi
s
thi
ngofwant i
ngtodot hi
ngsbymy selfwhen
ther
e'sactual
l
ysomeonewhoi swill
ingtohel
p
almostrobbedmeachancet osucceed.
Igazedathisperfectmadef acenexttomeas
hewassl eepi
nghisl i
pssli
ghtl
yopen.I'
m soi
n
l
ov ewit
hhi mli
kef orreal
whowoul dhave
thoughtIwouldfalldeepl
yinloveaft
erwhat
Mzwakhedi dtome.
Eachpassi
ngdaymyl oveexpandforhi
mI
knowthathelov
edmef ir
stbefor
eIlovedhim
butIdon'
tthi
nkther
e'ssomeonewhocanl ove
theywayIlovehim ghaaadIcan'
teventhi
nk
st
rai
ght
.Hehasnowoccupi
edt
hewhol
espace
i
nmyheart
.
Ileanedandki ssedhissli
ght
lyopenedl i
psand
remov edthecov ersfr
om himthenwentdown
onhi m.Imadet wori
ngsaroundhisalready
erectshaftwithmyt humbandi ndexfi
ngerof
mybot hhandsandsl i
detheri
ngsi nopposi
te
directi
onsgoingbackandf ort
hf r
om thebase
tot heheadsimul t
aneousl
y.
Ihear
damoanescapi ngf
rom hi
smouthashe
l
ift
eduphi sheadt
olookatmewi t
hhi
ssleepy
sexyeyes
Ibrushedmylipsagainsthi
sheadr ubbingi
t
againstmywetmout hhewi ncedinpleasur
eas
Itakethewholeheadintomymout hand
vigorousl
ymassagingitwit
hmyt ounge.He
growledasIswall
owedhi mi nchbyinchdeep
throati
nghim.
Hi
sbodytensedupandvi
bratedvi
olent
lyashe
f
il
ledmymout hwi
thhi
sdeli
ciousj
uice.
PK:
"Ohfuck!
!"Hethrewhi sheadbackonthe
pi
ll
owcatchi
nghisbr eathi
ngpace.Iswal
l
owed
hi
scum bestnut
ri
tiont ostar
tadaywith I
cr
awledontopofhim andki ssedhi
sli
ps
Me:
"Mor
ningMsut
hu"hesmi
l
ed
PK:
"Mor
ningNj
omanehowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'mf
inebabawasekhay
awhatabouty
ou?
"
PK:
"I
'm goodmamawasekhay
ahowdi
dyou
sl
ept
"
Me:"
Wonderfuldamnyouwereonfi
reareyou
sur
ey oudi
dn'twentt
ofuckuni
ver
sit
y"He
l
aughed
PK:
"Youtookthatquest
ionfrom mymouth
wenzaamasimbachipsmt anomuntu"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"I
'm sogoi
ngtomissy
ouwheny
ouawayI
wi
shIcanpostpone"
PK:"
Metooheybutknowt
hatI
'
m al
way
swi
th
youokay
"
Me:
"Okay
..
.Iwi
l
ldr
ivey
out
otheai
rpor
t"
PK:"Nopr obl
em sthandwasami alwaysknow
thatIloveyounomat t
erwhat .Youar e
everythi
ngIeverwant edinawomanwi thout
yout her
e'snome. Youaremysour ceofoxygen.
I'
m notper f
ecti
nf actI'
m abadguybutt hat
doesn'tchangethewayIf eelaboutyou.Ilov
e
allofyou"Ifel
ttearsthreateni
ng
Me:"Il
ov ey
out oobabyI 'm gratef
ul for
everyt
hingyoudi df oruswi thoutyouIwoul dn't
havemadei tthisf ar.Yougav emel i
ghtand
purposeIwill
for everbegr atefulsthandwa
sami.Youhelpedmer ai
sedourchi ldrenand
gaveusawar m home.Pl easenev erchangef or
thepersonyouar ey ouaresoamazi ngandI '
m
soinlovewithy ouPhakamani Mngomezul u"He
gri
nnedshowi ngt hatlastteeth.
PK:
"Youmakemewannacr ynowthanksfor
gi
vi
ngusanopport
uni
ty.I
'
mt heluckyguyto
haveyoui
nmyli
fe"
Me: "I
tsotherwayar oundactually.Thewor l
dis
fullofcowar dscheat i
ngbastar dsbuty oumy
babyy ouar et r
eati
ngmel ikeI '
mt hef i
rst
womani nt hi
swor ldthankyouf orthat
"We
kissedsodeepl y."
Iloveyout ogetherwi t
hyour
annoy i
ngj ealousness"Hel aughed
PK:"
Thethoughtofl
osi
ngy
oui
sunbear
abl
e
babyfor
giveme."
Me: "
Youwon' tlosemechocol atecake.All
"I
ki
ssedhi sf or
ehead"of"Ikissedhi sl
efteye
"me"Ikissedt heri
ghtey e"belong"Ikissedthe
spacebet weenhiseyes" t
o"Ikissedhi snose
"you"Ikissedhisli
psdeepeni ngi t
.Hesqueezed
mybut tocks"Youownmybody ,mysoul and
myhear ty ouareneverlosingmeokay"
PK:
"Yesma'
am"
Me:"LetgetupandtakeashowerIwantt o
preparebreakf
ast
"Wegotupandmadet hebed
thanwewentt othebathr
oom wherewet ook
aninnocentshower.Af
terhy
gieneprocesshe
sl
ippedmeint
ohi
st-
shi
rtt
henhewor
ehi
s
short
sonl
y.
PK:
"Iwil
lbewi
thy
ounowl
etmecheckmy
email
s"
Me:"
Okay"Ikissedhisl
ipsandmademyway
downstai
rs.JustasIgotstar
tedwi thbr
eakfast
Thandoemer gedweari
ngawhi teski
nnyjean,
redredbatvest,r
edankleall
st ar,
andredcap
"Chi
sssaslaybabe!!
"Shegiggled
Me:"
Wher
eareyougoingsl
ayi
ngl
i
kethi
s"I
t
hrewasl
iceofcheesei
nmymouth
Thando:
"Out
"
Me:
"Outwi
thwho"
Thando:
"KBandPr
ee"
Me:
"Youar
ely
ingThando"Ist
udi
edherey
es
Thando:
"Ser
ioussi
swhocanIgowi
th"
Me:"Someboywhohav
eadeat
hwi
sh"She
chuckled
Thando:
"Ther
e'snoboysi
s"
Me:"
Ifyouly
ingtomey ouknowIwil
lfi
ndout
andkil
lyoutoget
herwit
hyourboy
"Ishoved
anot
hersli
ceofcheeseinmymouth
Thando:
"Butsi
sI'
m 19y
ear
sol
dnow"
Me:"19?Isurel
yhav
eascat
ter
brai
nIt
hought
yourbir
thdayisont
he25ofMayandt
odayIt
's
28ofMar ch"
Thando:
"YouknowwhatImean"
Me:"
Listenmygirlnoboysunti
lyougraduat
e"
PKwal kedi
nfull
ydressedinajean,
nikevneck
t-
shi
rtandblackti
mberland.
PK:
"Chi
cken"
Thando:
"Hay
ibut
i"
PK:
"Youusetonothav
eapr
obl
em nj
ewhenI
cal
lyout
hat"
Thando:
"Iwasy
oungI
'
m ol
dnow"
PK:
"Babymypar
ent
ssummonedmet
heyar
eat
mybr
other
sIwi
l
lbeback"
Me:
"I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
PK:
"It
hinkso"Heki
ssedmycheek"
Ilov
eyou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"Het
henwal
kedout
Thando:
"Whatpl
ansdoy
ouhav
etoday
"
Me:
"Ei
thert
hent
aki
ngPKt
oai
rpor
tnot
hing"
Thando:
"Pl
easel
andmey
ourcar
"
Me:
"Youdon'
thav
eli
cencenj
e"
Thando:
"Pr
eedoesi
ftheycaughtuswewi
l
l
swaptheseat
s"
Me:
"Butst
il
l"
Thando:"
SiscomeonI'
m beggi
ngyou"She
walkedtome" Pl
easeMakaLami,
,
,,
,
Kit
Katka
Chocolat
eCake"sheplaywi
thmycheeksli
ke
I
'm ababyIgiggl
ed
Me:
"Okay
!"
Thando:
"Thanky
ousoooomuch!
"shepl
ant
ed
wetki
ssesonmyf
ace
Me: "Enoughnow"shel aughed.Iateanother
sliceofcheesebef or
emaki ngmywayup.Lami
wasst il
lasleep.Igazedathi m mymi nddrift
ed
tot hedayIf oundoutIwascar r
yinghim and
thedayhi sfat hertol
dmet o"
getr i
dofthis
rubbi sh"Ismi ledtearsrol
li
ngdownmyf aceI'm
gladIdi dn'tlistentohim cozthi
sl i
tt
leboyin
frontofmei smywor l
d.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
HugeSigh!Yeahi
thavebeentwoy earsandI
st
il
lhaven'
tcomecleant
obot hoftheladi
es.
Thethoughtofbr
eaki
ngthei
rheart
si skil
l
ing
meandt hemostdif
fi
cul
tpartist
hattheyboth
l
ovemesomuchandIal sol
ov et
hem.
Myfat
hert
hreat
enedtotakeev
eryt
hingf
rom
mesoIdeci
dedtoplayal
ongItol
dthem Ibr
oke
upwit
hKat.Icoul
dn'
tl
oseever
ythi
ngespeci
all
y
whenIhaveafamil
ytot
akecareofthati
sKat
andourki
ds.
SoIhavebeenraisi
ngenoughf undst ostartmy
owncompany.That '
sar easonwhyI '
m goingto
CapeTownIhav eav eryimportantmeeti
ng
wit
hapotenti
ali
nv estor
.I'
mt i
redofbeing
cont
rol
bydadIwantt obemyownman.
Mybr otherandhiswifearetheonlypeoplewho
knowt hatKatandIst i
ll
together
.Mymot her
cal
ledandt oldmet hattheyarewaiti
ngforme
i
nmyhouse.Wel lyesIhav eanotherhouse
whichisacov er,
thatwher eKuhl
eandIspend
ourti
met oget
her.
Uponarri
valIsawmypar entscarandaJaguar
par
kedinmyy ar
dIwonderedwhocoul ditbe
cozIhaveneverseeni
tbef or
e.SoIsteppedout
ofthecarandclosedi
tthenmademywayi n.
Iheardv
oicesasIapproachedt
helounge.
TherewasSqalo'
sgrandmother
,hertwoaunt
s
LuyandaandSweli
hlethenSqal
okuhl
ewhowas
seatedonthematwithabowedhead.What
aretheydoi
ngher
e?
Me:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Theygr
eet
edback
Mom:
"Si
tdownson"Isatnextt
oMama
Mom: "Asyoucanseet hi
sistheSit
holefamil
y
andtheyarenotpleasedatall
"Myhear t
thudded"Youdefl
ower edthei
rdaughterandl
eft
aseedi nherwomb"I '
m slowsomet i
mes
forgi
veme
Me:
"Ma?
"
Dad:
"Youi
mpregnat
edt
hei
rdaught
ersoni
sthat
t
rue?
"Ohshit
!!
Me:"
Uhm uh.
.umhm"Istut
ter
edcausing
Sqal
okuhl
etolookupatme"I'
m notsureDad"
GogoSit
hol
e:"
Whatdoesthatsupposetomean.
Di
dyoudidnotsl
eepwithher?"shegavemea
l
ookthatmademeshift
eduncomf ort
able.That
womanhasal waysbeenscarywhi
chmakeme
wonderwhatwouldshedot ometoget
herwi
th
hersonthedaytheyf
oundoutIhavebeen
unfai
thf
ult
oSqalo.
Me:
"Idi
dGogobutweusedpr
otect
ion"
GogoSi thole:
"Soyousayingthischi
l
disnot
your
s? "IlookedatSqalokuhlewhowas
weepingal r
eadyandthatbr okemyheart
Me:
"NoI
'
m notsay
ingt
hat
"
AuntySweli
hle:
"Whatareyousayi
ngkanti?You
tel
l
ingmet hatyouhaveneversl
eptwithher
wit
houtprotect
ion?
"sheaskedratherannoyed
Me:
"Uhm notr
eal
l
yIthinkt
herear
equiteaf
ew
t
imeswherewedidn'
tuseprot
ect
ion"
AuntyLuy
anda:
"Sowhatwi
tht
heI
M NOTSURE
shi
t!
"
Mom:"Ther
e'snoneedtorai
sevoi
ceswe
apol
ogisei
foursonoff
endedyou.
"shel
ooked
atmetosaysomething
Me:"I
'm sorr
yitcameoutwr ong.Itakefull
y
responsibl
eformyact i
onsandIapol ogisefor
thedisgraceIbroughtuponthefamily.Iknow
whatisexpectedofmeandIwi l
l gl
adlydoi t
"
Jesust hi
sisamess!Howwoul dIbr i
ngmy self
totellKataboutthi
s.Yhoowhathav eIdone.
Dad:"Iwillal
soapol ogiseonbehalfofthe
Mngomezul ufami l
y.Howev erwear ever
y
happyt hatthefami l
yisgrowi ngandwewi l
l
ensuret hatSqalokuhleandt hebabyarewell
takencar eofthereforewewoul dl
ikeusto
discusst hedateoft helobol
anegot i
ati
onsthat
whenwewi l
lal
soi ncludethedamages"woah!
woah!woah!
Me:
"Wai
tdadl
obol
anegot
iat
ions?
"
Dad:
"Yessonther
e'snogr
andchil
dofmi
net
hat
wewillbebor
noutofwedlock.
"
Me:"
Butdaddyshoul
dn'
tthatbemydeci
sion
andSqal
okuhl
e"
Dad:
"Youl
oveeachot
herwhatt
her
easont
o
wai
t.
..
"Icuthi
m of
f
Me:
"ButDad.
..
"hecutmeshor
ttoo
Dad:"
Don'ti
nter
ruptmewhenIt alkingboy.You
aregoingtomarrySqal
okuhlebefor eshe
shows.Thathowwedot hingsint hishome.
TherearenoMngomezul uchil
drent hatwi
llbe
bornoutofwedlock!
"
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Youknowwheny oureyesareclosedbutyou
canfeelt
hatsomeonei swat chi
ngyouandI
coul
dsmel l
deli
cioussmell.Iopenedmyey es
andtheymethisgorgeousf ace.Heli
pscurved
sweetl
ymakingmi netodot hesame
I
na:
"Mor
ningwi
fey
"
Me:
"Mor
ninghubby
"
Hel
eanedf
oraki
ssandweki
ssedsodeept
hat
Ifel
tmycl
itv
ibr
ati
ng.Ipul
l
edhi
m cl
osert
ome
buthepul
l
edback
I
na:
"Ihav
etogobaby
"Hewasal r
eadydr
essed
i
najeanandpol
ogol
fert
-shi
rt
.
Me:
"Wher
eto?
"
Ina:"
ToSpi jomsweneedt ofini
shthatpainti
ng
fortheexhi biti
on"Spij
omsi shisfri
endt hey
compl etedt heirf
ineartdegreestogether.They
arereallytalentedyoushoul dseet heir
painti
ngs.I nahav esol
dal otofhispai nt
ings
overthepastt woy ear
sandbyt hatti
mehewas
stil
lstudyi
ngbuthewasal readymaki ngmoney .
Me:
"Wewi
l
lbequi
ckmyl
ove"
I
na:"
I'
m al
readyr
unni
ngl
ateImadey
ou
br
eakfast
"
Me:"Idon'
twanty
ourst
upi
dbr
eakf
astIwant
yourdick!
"
I
na:"
I'
mtell
i
ngyouIhavetogowhatwit
hyou!!
"
heshout
edandthatmademecry."
I'
m sor
ry
babeIdi
dn'
tmeant
oshout
"Icov
eredmyhead
wit
hablanket
Me:
"Leav
emeal
oneI
namandl
aandgot
oyour
f
ri
end"
I
na:
"Babypl
ease"If
elthi
swei
ghtonme
Me:
"Leav
emet
hef
uckal
one"Iwai
l
ed.
I
na:"IpromisewhenIcomebacky ouwillhave
meal ltoyourself
"Isai
dnot
hingbutcr
ied."You
breakmyhear twhenyoucr
y"Hetri
edto
remov etheblanketonmyhead
Me:
"Fuckof
fIna!
!"Hehuf
fed
I
na:"
Yourbreakf
astisonthebedsi
detabl
e"I
di
dn'
trespondIfelthi
m gett
ingupfr
om t
he
bed
"OhMymom cal l
edtheysawusont vlastnight
theywantt omeetyouandIt ol
dt hem wewi l
l
bet her
efordinnert
onight
"Stil
lIsaidnothingI
hear dt
hedoorshutti
ngclose.Iremovedt he
blanketfr
om myheadandwi pedmyt ears.Im
notgoi
ngt
her
eshame.
Thedel
i
cioussmellcoul
dn'
tmakei
teasyfor
measmuchIwant edhimtofi
ndhi
sbreakfast
her
euntouched.
Itookthet
rayandwipedmyhandswit
hadish
cl
oththenate.Myphoner
angItooki
tand
answeredwithfoodi
nmymouth
Me:
"HeyMom"
Shel
aughed
Si
hle:
"Heybabyar
eyoueat
ing"Iswal
l
owed
Me:
"Yeahhowar
eyou"
Si
hle:
"I
'
mfi
nehowar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm goodhey
"
Si
hle:
"Congr
atul
ati
onsf
ort
heAwar
d"
Me:
"Thanky
ou.Di
ddadwat
chedt
heawar
ds?
"
Si
hle:
"Yes"
Me:
"Whatdi
dhesay
"
Si
hle:
"Uhm not
hing"Myhear
tsank
Me:
"Oh"
Si
hle:
"I
'
m sor
ryaboutal
loft
hisIhav
en'
tgi
ven
up"
Me:
"Thanky
ouhowi
sSbani
set
hu"
Si
hle:
"Hei
sasweetboy
"
Me:
"Ki
sshi
mforme"
Si
hle:
"Iwi
l
ldo.Howi
smygr
andson"
Me:"
Heisstoutt
hatoneweshoul
dswapdon'
t
youthi
nk"
Wegi
ggl
ed
"
Whoisthatbaby"Ihear
dmyf
atherspeaki
ng
f
rom t
hebackground
Si
hle:
"I
t'
sKonkeshesayhi
"
"Konke?whoi
sthat
?"askedmyf
athert
hat
brokemyhear
t
Idr
oppedt
hecal
landcr
ied.Youknowwhat
funnyIdi
dn'
tst
opeat
ingev
ent
houghIwas
cryi
ng.
Mydoorswungopeni
ncameSbonga.Iwi
ped
mytear
squickl
y.
Sbonga:
"Mommy
"hesai
dcomi
ngt
omybed
Me:
"Yesboy
"
Sbonga:
"Ar
eyoucr
ying?
"
Me:
"No"
Sbonga:"
AuntyLi
ziscal
l
ingy
ousomeonei
s
her
ef oryou"
Me:
"Whoi
sit
?"
Sbonga:
"Dunno"Heshr
uggedhi
sshoul
der
s
Me:"
Got ellherI
'm coming"Her anout"Norun
Sbonga!"Iputthetrayonthebedsideandgot
upthenpulledarobeandsl eepersbeforegoi
ng
downstair
s.Isawt hisdarkbeauti
fulgi
rlwi
tha
boywhoi sroughlyaroundSbonga'sage.
"
Greet
ings"
Gi
rl
:"
Hel
l
o"
Li
z:
"Shei
sher
efory
ou"
Me:
"HowcanIhel
pyou"
Me:"I
'
ml ooki
ngforNkosi
namandl
ahi
sson
wanttomeethim"Shesaidbr
ushi
ngtheboy
's
head.Huh?
[
06/
01,
08:
11]W:
44
PHAKAMANI
•
Heregoesmydadwi
thcont
rol
l
ingdon'tgetme
wrongbutwheni
shedyi
ngvel
e?Urggg!
GogoSi thole:
"Iful
lyunderstandthateachan
everyhousehol dhasitprotocol,
tradit
ionor
cult
uretof oll
owbutwecan' tfor
cet hem t
oget
marriedwhent heyhaven'
tthoughtabouti tt
hat
couldleadt oacat ast
rophicmarriage"
Dad:
"Theset
woareol
denoughtobefool
i
ng
ar
oundandnowthatt
her
e'sbabyont
heway
theyshoul
dseeitasasignthatit
st i
metotake
thei
rrel
ati
onshi
ptothenextlev
el.Sqalokuhl
e
mychi l
ddontyouwanttogetmar r
iedto
Phakamani?"
Sqalo:
"YesfathersomedayIwannabeMr s
Mngomezul u.Mar ri
ageisnotsomet hingyou
j
ustwakeupanddoi tyouhav etothinkreal
hardaboutitcozi t
slif
et i
mecommi t
mentat
themomenti tssomet hingIhaven'
tthought
aboutitI
'm st
illshockedbythepr egnancy
alr
eady"
Wheewt
hatwasarel
iefcany
ouI
magi
nei
fshe
want
edt
ogetmarr
iednow
Mom:
"Whatdoy
ousayPhakamani
?"
Me:
"Sqal
oismywifeMamawit
horwi
thout
marr
iagewewil
lgetmar
ri
edwhenwearebot
h
r
eady"
WhatwasIsupposet
osay
?
Dad:
"Thi
sisnothowwedot
hingsbutI
underst
and.Wewi
l
lgetonwi
tht
hedamages
then"
GogoSi
thol
e:"
Wellt
heni
tsset
tl
edthanky
ouf
or
wel
comingusIthi
nkwearedonehere"
Mom: "
Youal
lwelcome"Theyall
stoodup
exceptmeanddad.Mom walkedthem out
.
Dad:"
AlthoughIdon'tl
ikeitthatyouarenot
doi
ngt hingsaswedoi tinthishousehol
dbut
I
'm pr
oudofy ouson"Hest oodupandhel dout
hi
shand.
Igr
abbedithepul
l
edmeupandgav emea
warm hug.
Mom walkedi
nandj
oinedus
Mom:
"I
m sohappymyson"
WepulledbackIf or
cedasmi le.I
m supposeto
behappythatI'
m expectingmyf i
rstbornbutal
l
Ithi
nkaboutishowwi l
lItel
lKatthenews.
Theywill
shatt
erhert othecoresher eal
ly
doesn'
tdeserv
et his
Me:
"Uhm"Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat"
Ihav
esomet
hing
t
otakecar
eoff
olks"
Mom:"HawuPhakamaniwejustgothereyou
won'
tbehereforthemonthwewantt ospend
sometimewit
hy ouIwi
llmakeyourfavour
ite
di
sh"
Me:"It
simper ati
veI'mr eal
lysor r
ybutIwi l
lbe
back"Thatwasal ie."Surefolks"Imademy
wayoutIst eppedi nmycaranddr ove
ai
ml essl
ymymi ndwasbuzzi ngandmyhear t
wasachingt hatIfeltthepainphy si
cali
fI'm
hurt
ingli
kethi showdeepwi l
lithurtKat.I
shouldhavechosef rom thewor dgo.Katwi ll
neverfor
givemef orthis.Icalledmybr other
Jabu:
"Li
tt
lebr
o"
Me:
"Youhome"
Jabu:
"I
'mf
inet
hanky
ouhowar
eyou"Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"Howar
eyou?"
Jabu:
"I
'm goodandnoI
'
m atwor
k"
Me:
"I
'm comi
ng"Ihungup.Idon'
thav
efr
iends
mybr otheri
smyf r
iend.Idon'
tthi
nkIwil
lever
fi
ndaf ri
endli
keNat hi
,theonethatwasbrut
all
y
ki
lledbyMr sZondi
.Any wayIgottomy
brother
'scompany.
Luckyhi
m hedon'
thav
etobecont
rol
l
edbyDad.
Igreetedtherecepti
oni
standwentt
omy
brother'
soffi
ce."Zal
o"
Jabu:
"Heybr
o"Webumpedf
ist
sthenIsat
down.
Hisof
ficei
shugev er
yhugeI
fImustsaybutit
's
beaut
if
ul."
Youlookedtr
oubl
ed"Isi
ghedheav
il
y
andwipedmyface
Me:
"Sqal
oispr
egnant
"
Jabu:
"Wowcongr
atul
ati
ons"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Jabu:
"Youshoul
dber
ejoi
ci
ng"
Me:
"Comeonbr
ahowcanIwhent
hiswi
l
ltor
e
Kat
'shear
t"
Jabu:"
Ihat
etosayitbutItol
dyoutochoose
earl
ybutyoudidn'
tl
ist
entomel ooknow.Idon'
t
thi
nkshewillf
orgi
veyoumanal lt
hist
imeyou
havebeenplayi
ngher.
..
"Icuthi
m off
Me:
"Iwasn'
tpl
ayi
ngherIl
oveher
"
Jabu:
"Butshewon'tseeitl
i
kethatPhakamani
youmadehery oursidechi
ckf
or2y earsand
monthsthatwi
llbreakhert
othecore!"
Me:"
Shei
snotmysi
dechi
ckshei
smymai
n
chi
ck"
Jabu:
"WhataboutSqal
okuhl
e?"
Me:
"Shei
sal
somymai
nchi
ck"
Jabu:
"DammitmaanPhakamanithat
'
s
i
mpossibl
eyoucan'
tlovetwogi
rl
satthesame
ti
metheremustbesomeonebetweenthetwo
whoyoulovethemost!
!"
Me:"St
opyell
i
ngatmeokay!YesImessedupI
knowbutyoushout
ingatmewon'thel
p.Icame
herecozIhadnowheret
ogo.Theyaretwo
di
ff
erentpeopl
ewhi
chishar
dformet
oknow
whodoIlovethemost
"
Jabu:"If
eelsor
ryf
orbothoft hem butespeciall
y
forKat.Youmadeherlovey ouwholeheartedly,
promisehertheworl
d,actuall
yyougav eher
halfoftheworl
dwheny ouknowy ouhav e
someonei nyourl
i
fe,someonewhowast here
beforeher.Howwil
lthatmakeherf eel
."
Me:"Iknowshewill
bebeyondbroken.I
'm so
scaredoflosi
ngherbr
ali
keIcan't
.I'
m scared
totellher
"
Jabu:"
Youbettertel
lhernowbeforeshefi
nd
outhersel
fohboyshewi l
lhat
ey ouforl
i
fe"I
groanedinfr
ustrati
on
Me:"
HowdidIgether
e?I
'm soscr
ewedr
ight
now!
"Ibangedt
hedeskhard
Jabu:
"Manupandt
ell
hert
het
rut
hwi
l
lsety
ou
fr
ee"
Me:
"Thanksf
ory
ourt
imeIshoul
dgetgoi
ng
nowandf
acemymusi
c"
Jabu:"Goodluck"Ismil
edf ai
ntl
yandstoodup.
"Sure"Webumpedf i
ststhenIlef
t.Iwas
draggingthedriv
e
Finall
yIarr
ivedLamirantomeassoonashe
sawme.Ipi ckedhim upandthr
ewhimi nt
he
ai
rt hencat
chhim againashegiggl
edsweetl
y.
Hei ssuchawonder f
ulboyIl
ovehim somuch.
Lami
:
"Wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom daddy
?"
Me:
"Somewher
e"
Lami
:
"Whatdi
dyoubr
oughtf
orme?
"
Me:"
Im sor
rychampIbr
oughtnot
hingnextt
ime
neh"
Lami
:
"Okay
"
Me:
"Wher
e'smommy
?"
Lami:
"Wat
chingTV"Wewenttotheloungeand
fi
ndKatsi
tt
ingonthecouchherkneesbenton
thesof
awatchingoneofherf
avouri
teshows
Me:
"Baby
"IputLami
down
Kat :
"Heyl
ove"Isatnexttoherf
aci
ngherIcoul
d
feelthatmyvoiceisfai
li
ngme."Howarethe
folks"
Me:"Goodbabytheyjustwant
edt oseeme"I
l
ookedathersheisgl owi
ngIcouldtel
lshei
s
happybuthereIam abouttobreakherapar
t
Kat
:"
Arey
ouokayy
oul
ookt
err
ibl
ysad"
Isi
ghedIcoul
dn'
tbr
ingmy
sel
ftot
ell
her
Me:"
Im scar
edoflosi
ngy
ou"Iwhi
sper
edand
swal
lowedal umpinmyt
hroat
Kat:
"Comeher "Shepul l
edmebet weenher
thi
ghsandpl acedherhandonmynapel ooking
atmeI nt
otheey es"Il
ovenoelsebutyoumy
l
ove.Younotgonnal osemenotnownotev er.
Youarestuckwi thmePKI '
m notgoi
ng
anywhere"Sher ubbedhernoseonmynoseour
for
eheadspressedt ogether
.
West
ayedi
nthatposi
ti
onf
oramoment
l
i
steni
ngt
oourhear
tbeat
s
Me:
"Il
ovey
ousomuch"
Kat:
"Ilov
ey oumore"Weki sseddeeplyt
henI
buri
edmyheadonhernecki nhal
ingher
i
ntoxicat
ingsweetscent.HowcanIl oseal
lof
thi
sitseveryt
hingIwantinli
fenje.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Ilookedatt hi
sgirl
incr edul
ously,
Isal
utethe
nerveofhert ocomei nmyhouseandsayal l
thatrubbishli
kewhodoest hat
?YesInamandla
i
sal mosther eevery
daybutshegotnor ightt
o
comei nmyhouseuni nvit
edsheshouldhave
gonet otheSithol
er esidenicenother
e!
Me:
"Wai
t.
.whati
syourname?
"
"Thabsi
le"shesai
dcheeki
l
yIswearherbeaut
y
dimini
shedinthatver
ysamemomenti nmy
eyes
sheishi
sexthatbr
okehi
shear
tbuthedi
dn'
t
tel
lmeaboutachil
d
Me:"
Didyouper
hapsf
uckedherei
nmyhouse
whenthi
sboywasconcei
ved?
"
Thabsi
l
e:"
No.
..
"Icutherof
f
Me:"
Sowhyareyouher
ethi
sisnothi
shome
youshoul
dgotohi
shomegirl
"
Thabsi
l
e:"
I'
m comingfr
om t
hereandthehel
per
tol
dmehei snott
heresoIcameherewhereis
heoursonwanttomeethim!"
Me:
"Ngazongi
nyelawenay oushoul
dhave
wai
tedforhi
mt herenotcomehere.Pl
ease
l
eav
emyhouseIwi ll
tel
lhimyouwerehere!
"
Thabsi
le:"
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wherewi
thout
tal
ki
ngt ohimifit
'st
akemetowai
thereal
lday
Idon'
tgiveashit!
"
I
'm notav i
olentpersonI
m sureyoumusthav e
noti
cedbutt hi
sgirlwasmakingmeangr ymy
handitchedIwant edtobl
ackslapherhardbutI
cont
rol
l
edmy
sel
f.
Me:"Heythisisnotyourhouseifyouwantt o
waitforhim gototheSithol
eresi
dence!!
"she
i
gnoredmel i
keIwasntev ental
ki
ngt oher.I
wasf umingwithanger.Iranupstai
rstomy
bedroom andt ookmyphonebef orecall
i
ng
I
namandl a
Ina:"
Sthandwasami "Iwasbr eat
hingheavyI
couldn'tevenautterasingleworl
dmywhol e
bodywast rembl
ingandmyt eet
hwer e
clatt
eri
ng" Babybreat
hokayj ustbreat
handtel
l
mewhati sgoingon"Hemusthav eheard.I
closedmyey esandinhaledthenexhaled
Me:"Youneedtocomebacknowandsortout
yourbabymamacozI'm goi
ngtoki
ll
herwit
h
mybar ehandsI
namandl
a!!!
"Ir
oar
ed
I
na:
"Babymama?
?"
Me:"That
'swhatIsaidcomebacknow
Inamandl
a!!
"Ihungupanddidbreathi
ng
exerci
seIwon'thav
easthmat
icattackbecause
ofthathoeIwil
lbegi
vingherpowerov
erme!I
satdownont hebedandcalmeddownmysel
f.
WhenIwascal medItookmyof fther
obeand
sl
eepersandshuff
ledtothebathroom.Itooka
col
dshowertocalm my sel
fthi
sgirlwi
llbea
deathofmest r
unasiwherethefuckhav eshe
been.IknowInawil
lneverkeepsomething
hugeli
kethi
s.Hewouldhav etol
dmehehav ea
son.
Afterhygi
eneprocessIlot
ionedandgot
dressedintoashort
,vestandIna'
spush-
ins.As
Iwasmaki ngmybedIcouldhearcommot i
on
downstairs.
Iwentdownstai
rsInawasshouti
ng,nowas
roar
ingatThabsi
le.Ihav
eneverseenhi
mthis
angry
I
na:
"Don'
tfuckwi
thmeThabsi
l
e!!
!"
Thabsil
e:"
IknowIhurtyoubabybutpl
ease
bel
ievemehei syourson!
"
Ina:"
Yanyayezway anyaaf t
eral
lthi
sti
me
wher ewereyouifhei smyson?Nowt hatboy
ditchedyouwit
hhimy ouarecominghereand
claim hi
mtomi ney angi
nyel
angampelawena!!
"
Thabsile:"
Ithoughthewashi stoobuthe
becamesi ckgoinginandoutoft hehospitalt
he
doctorscoul dn'
tfindoutwhatiswr ongwith
him.Thent hi
sotherdaysomepr ophetinthe
taxi
toldmet hatthereasonhei ssickis
becausehei susingthewrongsur nameI
shouldt akehimt ohisreal
fatherpleaseforgi
ve
meNkosyInev ermeantanyoft hi
st ohappen"
shecried
I
na:"
Thenwhyar
ey outaki
nghimtome
unondi
ndwaomkhulukabiwena!
"
Thabsil
e:"Youtwoaretheonl
yguy sIsleptwith.
I'
m beggingyouNkosyhei sverysi
cklookat
him.Heisnotl i
kethi
sheisaj ol
lyt
oddler."We
alll
ookedatt hel
it
tl
eboywhowasj uststari
ng
i
ntospace.ThatwhenIgott oseethatalthough
hel
ookalotl
i
keThabsi
l
ebuthedoeshav
e
I
na'
sresembl
ance
I
na:"
Hayhayheisnotminegetoutofher
e
Thabsi
leandpl
easedon'
tyouevercomeback
her
e.!
!"
Thabsil
e:"
NkosypleaseI'
m sorr
ydon'tpuni
sh
himformymi stakespl
ease"ShecriedbutIna
wouldn'
thearithepushedherout.Allt
hist
ime
theyweren'
tawareofmypr esenceunti
lIna
cameback.
Ina:
"BabyI'm sorr
yImreall
ysorryIdon'tknow
whatgamesi sthi
sgir
lplayi
ngthatboyi snot
mychi l
d..Ipromiset
hiswast hefi
rstandt he
l
asttimeshecomeher e"Ipull
edhimi ntomy
armsandhuggedhi m
Me: "
Calm downpleasey ouar eshaki
ng"I
pull
edbackandt ookhishandt hanwewentt o
thecouchwher ewesatcl osetoeachot her"
Breathinandout"Hedi dasIt oldhim"LookI
knowt hatgi
rlhur
tyouandf orhertoshowup
nowaft
eral
ltheseyearsi
tssuspi
ciousbutt
hat
boyhav
eyourresemblance"
I
na:
"Nonomyl
ovey
oudi
dn'
tseehi
m cor
rect
ly"
Me:"
IknowwhatIsawbutl
etdoaDNAt
obe
sur
e..
."Hecutmeoff
Ina:
"Kuhlekonkethatboyi
snotmyson!
"He
breathedoutloudly"I
'
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
o
shoutaty ou"
Me:"
Youareangryit
sunderstandabl
ebutthe
boyisi
nnocenthedoesn'
tdeservealloft
his.As
Isai
dhehavey ourr
esemblancesthandwa
sami.
"
I
na:
"No.
..
"Ishuthi
m wi
thadeepki
ss
Me:
"Pl
easeJobeat
leastl
etdotheDNAt
est
t
hanwewill
takei
tfrom t
here"
I
na'
"
Konke.
..
"
Me:"
Pleasedoitf
orme"Iki
ssedhi
m agai
n
"
Prett
yplease"
Ina:
"Okayokayfi
neIwi
lldothi
sfory
oubutI
canfeeli
tthatboyi
snotmine"
Me: "
Thankyousomuchst handwasami"we
kissedpassi
onatel
yhi
shandsqueezedmy
breasthegentl
ygotontopofmeasheputme
underhim If
elthi
m gr
owinghardagai
nstmy
fanny.
I
na:
"I
'm al
lyour
snow"
Me:
"Na.
aIdon'
twanty
ouany
mor
e"
I
na:
"Comeon"
Me:
"Mh.
mhnowy
ouwi
l
lknowhowi
tsf
eel
"
I
na:
"Pl
easebabydon'
tdot
hatt
ome"
Me:"
Ilov
eyout
oo"Hegr
oanedandbur
iedhi
s
headonmyneck
Thewholedaywespendi ti
ndoorscuddli
ng.
Around7pm welef
ttohisparentshouse.My
heartwaspoundi
nghardagainstmychest.
I
na:
"Rel
axt
heydon'
tbi
te"Hesqueezedmyhand
Ismi
l
edner
vousl
y.Thedoorwasat
tendedby
Mj
Mj
:
"Mkami
"Thehousescr
eamedext
rav
agant
Me:"
Hell
oMj
"Wehuggedt
henhegr
eet
edhi
s
br
other
I
na:
"Ar
ewel
ate?
"
Mj:
"Almostcome"Wewentt ot
hedi
ningroom
ev
eryonewasalreadyseat
ed.Wegr
eetedthey
gr
eetedbackall
thisti
memyhandwasi nhis.
Ina:
"Babet hi
sismyf ami l
y.Mom, Dad, Granpa,
Granma, AuntyLusanda,AuntyLuyanda,Aunt y
Swelihl
eandAunt yZanokuhle.YouknowMj
andSqal okuhl
eFami lythi
sismygi r
lf
riend
Konke"Theyl ookedatmeandsmi l
edexcept
AuntyZanoshewasgi v
ingmeaney e"Youcan
sitbaby"hepul l
edthechairIsatdownt hanhe
pushi t
.Hesatnextt omepl acinghi
shandon
topofmi ne.
Hi
smom:
"Sqal
okuhl
edi
shupf
orus"Sqal
odi
d
asshewast old"
Mjgracethefood"Hedi
dhe
wast ol
dtoothenweallst
art
edeatingov
era
conversat
ion
Hisgrams:
"Noof
fencemychil
dhowol
dar
eyou?
Youlookol
dert
henInamandl
a"
Ichokedonmyf
oodI
nabr
ushedmyback
I
na:
"Sor
rybaby"
Me:
"Thanky
ou.
..
Uhm I
'
mtur
ning29t
hisy
ear
"
Theyallgaspedwit
hshockt
henAunt
yLusanda
bursti
ntolaught
er.
AuntyLusanda:"
Yhuuayy ouarecur
sed
Zesuli
weallyourchi
ldrenlov
ethem ol
dert
hen
them"shesaidlaughing
Hi
smom:
"Don'
tst
artLusanda"
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Buti
tst
rue"
Hisgr
ams:"I
'
m notsur
ebutIt
hinkIhav
eseen
youbefor
e"
I
na:
"She'
sanact
ressGogo"
AuntyLusanda:
"Ofcour
seyoudoknowhershe
i
sthatgirl
whoshowedherbodyt othewhole
worl
dlikethatwasn'
tembar
rassi
ngenough
boom thepornvi
deowithdi
ff
erentmenfucki
ng
hersi
es"
OhGod!
I
nabangedt
het
abl
e
Ina:
"Woul
dyoushutt
hef
uckupAunt
y
Lusanda!
"
Hi
sgrandad:
"Wai
tshei
stheonet
hattook
Si
hle'
sexboyf
ri
endwhathi
sname?"
AuntyZano:
"Zol
ani
..
thathowshespeci
ali
se
taki
ngpeopl
e'smensheal sot
ookmy
daught
er'
sfi
ancé!"
I
na:"
Shedi
dn'
tknowcomeonwhyar
eyoul
i
ke
t
hisnow?"
Aunt
ySwel
ihl
e:"
Aykabi
nehbutwhyaguywho
i
s5year
syoungert
henyoubayephi
ont
anga?
"
Me:
"Uhm "Iswal
l
owedhar
d"Il
ovehi
m he
makemehappyandhei
sagoodf
athert
omy
son"
AuntyLusanda:
"Wuuhshehaveachil
dtoohayi
shegottoomuchburdenInadoesn'
tdeser
ve
thi
s"
Sqal
o:"
Reall
ynow?Sihle'
shusbandwil
lreal
l
y
notl
i
key ouguysj
udginghisdaught
er"
Hismom: "SoyouknewI namandl
athatshei
s
thereasonbehindyoursist
erandcousi
n'
s
breakups"
I
na:
"Yesmom shedi
dn'
tknowokay
!"
Aunt
yLuyanda:
"Idon'tt
hinki
tsaconci
edence
shedoesi
tonpur pose!
!"
Hismom: "Idon'
tunder
standhowdoyouhavea
rel
ati
onshipwithsomeonewhohurty
oursist
er
andcousin"
I
na:
"JesusMamaThepeoplewhohurtt
hem ar
e
t
hei
runfait
hful
mennotKonke.Shei
sal
soa
v
ict
im her
e!!
"
Hi
smom:
"Butst
il
l!
!"
I
na:
"At
leastshedidn'
tknowunli
key ou,you
t
ookdadf r
om AuntyLuyandawhil
ey ouknew
y
ouarethef i
neonetojudgenow!!
!"Okaynow
i
tsget
ti
ngoutofhand.
Hisgr
ams: "
Inamandl
a!!
"Idon'
tknowwhendi d
hi
sfatherstoodupcozthenextsecondhewas
backslappi
ngInawhobledimmedi at
elyf
rom
hi
snose
Hisdad:
"Don'
tyouf
ucki
ngdar
etal
ktomywi
fe
l
ikethat
!!
"
Ina:
"I
'm notgonnasither
eandwatchy ouguy
s
cruci
fyi
ngmygi rl
fr
iendasify
a'l
lpr
efect!
!"
Hi
sGrandad:"
Youar
eget
ti
ngoutofhandnow
I
namandla!
!I
I
na:
"Sowhatam IsupposetodoMkhul
uhuh?
whi
l
ey a'
l
lbusyacti
ngholi
erthant
hounx.
!!
!"
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Herpussyisdr
ivi
nghi
m crazy
whowouldhavethoughtI
natal
kingt
ohis
el
der
sli
ket
hisSi
es!
!"
I
na:"
Youknowwhatgotohel
lallofy
ou!Babe
l
et'
sgo"Hestoodup"Iwascr
yingnowthi
s
wasjustt
oomuch
Me:
"I
nanodon'
tdothisIdon'
twanty
out
ofi
ght
wi
thyourf
ami
ly"Isobbed
I
na:
"Baby
..
."
Me:"NoIdon'
twantt obear easonf ortheri
ft
betweenyourfamil
yandy ou"It ookt hecar
keysandstoodup" I
twasnicemeet ingyou
Sit
holefami
ly"Iranouttearsblurri
ngmyv i
sion.
"Babywaitupplease"thatwasI naIi
gnor
edhim
andgotinhiscar."Openuppl ease"Hebanged
thewindowIstartedthecaranddr oveof
ftear
s
cloudi
ngmyv i
sion.Iknewt heywon'twel
come
meni cel
ybuti
thur t
stot hecore.It
ookmy
phoneandcall
edLwazi
Lwazi
:
"Baby
"
Me:
"They.
..hat
e..
.me"Icr
ied
Lwazi
:
"What
'swr
ongl
ove?Who"
Me:"TheSi
tholefam.
..
"Iwasdist
urbedbyloud
hooti
ngsoundwhenIt ur
nedtherewasat axi
thatwascomingonmysi deIscr
eamedi n
shockthentherewasaloudbangaftert
hatal
l
l
ightwereout.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
"
Iwi
ll
missy
ou"Hewi
pedmyt
ear
swi
thhi
s
t
humbs
PK:
"Iwi
l
lmi
ssy
out
oobabydon'
tcr
yyoumake
mesad"
Wewereattheai
rpor
tout
sidehi
scarsi
nce
mi
neiswit
hThando
Me:
"Takecar
eofy
our
sel
fpl
ease"
PK:
"Yout
ooandourki
ds"
Me:
"Iwon'
tdi
sappoi
nty
ou"Weki
ssedso
passi
onat
elyt
ast
ingt
hesal
tofmyt
ear
s.
PK:
"Il
ovey
ousomuch"
Me: "
Lovey oumor e"Hel etgoofmeandki ssed
myf oreheadt henhekissedLami whowas
sleepi
ngi nthecar .Heblewmeaki ssand
walkedawaywhenhewasdi stanceawayI
call
edhi m" PK!!
"Het ur
nedandl ookedatmeI
rantohim andj umpedi ntohisarmshecatched
mehol dingmef ordearli
fe.
PK: "
Iwil
lbebackbabyokay "Inoddedt henlet
l
osef rom hisarms.Hekissedmeonceagai n
thenwesepar ated.Iwenttohiscarandst ar
ted
i
tdr i
vingtoLatoya'
shouse.Uponar r
ivalIwoke
Lami upthenmademywayt othedoor .She
attendeditandsmi l
edwidelywhenshesawus.
Toy
a:"
Chommi
ecomei
n"Wegoti
n
Me:
"Hel
l
o"Wehugged
Toy
a:"
Unqabi
l
emaan"
Me:
"Uni
ver
sit
yiskeepi
ngmebusyl
ovey"
Toya:
"Gr
eathel
l
oLami
"Hepout
edandbur
ied
hi
sheadonmyneck
Me:
"Iwokehi
m uphei
sgr
umpy
"
Toya:"
Letmet akehimt oLuyol
oandSiyanda"
Hetookhim anddi sappear
ed.Si
yandai
sher1
yearoldson.Imademy sel
fcomfort
abl
eshe
camebackandf oundmecr yi
ng"Chomma"She
satnexttome
Me:
"Imi
ssPK"
Toy
a:"
Wher
eishe?
"
Me:"
I'
m comi
ngfrom dr
oppi
nghi
m atthe
ai
rpor
theisgoi
ngtoCapeTownforthewhol
e
month"
Toy a:
"OhbabyI '
m sorr
y"ShehuggedmeIcr i
ed
l
ouder" Sssh"Icalmeddownaf tersometime"I
knowwhatwi ll
makey oufeelbetter
"Shestood
upanddi sappearedthencamebackwi t
htwo
glassesandr edwine.Wehadwi newhil
e
talki
ngImustsayi thelpedwehadf unbefore
weknewiti
twasar
ound8pm andThandowas
cal
l
ingnow
Me:
"Si
s"
Thando:
"Wher
ear
eyouguy
sar
eyouokay
?"
Me: "
Yeswear ecomi
ng"Iwasdrunkbutnot
thatdrunk."
Weshoul
dgochommi et
hanksa
l
ot "Wehuggedshewenttofet
chLami whowas
sleepi
ng.
Weputhi
m ont
hebackseatt
henIj
umpedi
n
f
ront
.
Ihoot edonceanddr oveoff.IheardthatIran
oversomet hingIpani ckedandpul ledoff.I
steppedoutoft hecarandl ookedar oundbutI
couldn'tseeany thingthenextmi nuteIheard
gunshot sIfeltpainonmyt highsandl egsand
droppedont hegr ound.Isawaguyget ti
ngi nt
o
PK'scar
Me'"
Mysoni
satt
hebackseatdon'
ttakehi
m
pl
ease!
!"
Iscr
eamedmyl
ungsoutf
ormysonbutthecar
spedof
fwit
hhi
m Ibr
okei
ntoal
oudcry
.
[
06/
01,
08:
11]W:
45
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
Weallhaveapastthatwearenotpr
oudofI
don'
tunderst
andwhymyf amil
yisbei
nghar
sh
andj
udgement al
towardsmygir
lf
ri
end.
Angrywouldbeanunderstat
ementtheyare
busyjudgi
ngasiftheyar
esaint
sofGod.Konke
i
sav ict
imtoevery
thingt
hathappenedinher
l
if
e.
Itt
ookhersomet i
met omov eonfrom
everyt
hingandIwast herewithherIsawhow
broken,shat
ter
ed,destroyedshewasandnow
myf amilyi
srubbi
ngsal tonherwounds.
Imarchedinsi
dethehouseIhadtofoll
owher
sheisnostateofdri
vingandI
m afr
aidshewil
l
haveasthmati
cattackwhil
edri
vi
ng.Iwalkedi
n
al
ley
eswer
eonmeasI
fI'
m aTVscr
eennx.
Me:
"Si
spleasebor
rowmey ourcarIhav
eto
f
oll
owhersheisnostat
eofdriv
ing"
Sqal
o:"
Iwil
lgofet
cht
hecarkey
s"Shest
oodup
andwalkedaway
AuntyLusanda:"
Youdon'
tdeservet
hatgir
l
Inamandlasheisahoethatshowsoffherbody
andsleepswithmen!
"
Me: "
Doy oueverli
stentoyoursel
fwheny ou
speak.There'
snosanehumanbei ngwhocan
showof fherbodyt otheworl
d.Can'tyousee
thatsomeonedi dthisonpurpose!Asforthe
videoshewasgangr apeddammi t!Whatkind
ofawomanar ey ouhuh?Nowondert hewor l
d
i
ssav agecozt herearepeopl
ewhoar elike
you!"
AuntyLusanda:
"Heydon'
ttal
ktomel
i
ket
hat
I
'm notyourchi
l
d!"
Me:
"Fucky
ou!
"
Grams:"
InamandlaI
'm get
ti
ngsickofyourtone
nowwear eyouradult
sknowy ourplace!
!"she
bangedthetabl
e
Me:
"Shutupgr
andma!
"
Granpa:
"Don'ty
ouf uckingdarespeaktomy
wi
f el
ikethatIwil
lfucky ouupyouwi l
lwishyou
wereneverborn!Wear ey ourf
uckingadult
s
gi
veust hedamnf uckingrespectwedeserve!!
"
Hesaidstrangl
ingme
Sqal
o:"
Mkhul
upl
easey
ouar
ehur
ti
nghi
m!"she
cr
ied
Granpa:
"Thi
sboyhaveforgott
enhispl
acehe
needtobereminded!
!"HeletgoofmeI
coughedholdi
ngmythroat.
Sqal
o:"
Arey
ouokay
?"shehel
dme
Me:"
Sur
ethanky
ou"It
ookt
hekey
sandwal
ked
out
IgottoSqal
o'
spor
cheanddrov
eoutIfi
ndMj
's
caroutsi
det
hegat
eIlower
edmywindowashe
di
dthesame"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
Mj:
"Toomuchdr
amaIneedf
ewdr
inksand
somepussy"
Me:"
AslongasIdon'tbai
lyououtf
rom j
ail
and
youdon'
timpr
egnategirl
syoucango"
Mj:
"Sur
egrootman"Weseparat
ed.Itri
edtocal
l
Konkebutherphonesentmestr
aightto
voi
cemail
.
Onadi stanceIsawambulancesandpoli
ce
vanssurroundi
ngLordknowswhat .WhenIgot
tothesceneIpulledof
fjustt
oseewhat '
s
happening.
Peoplewer
ebeingputi
ntheambulancesI
l
ookedaheadandsawmyJeepbey ond
damage.Myheartstar
tedbeat
ingf
astIfel
tmy
kneesweakeni
ng.
Me:"
Konke"Iwhi
speredtomy sel
fasImadethe
waythr
oughthecrowd"Mov e,move,move"I
sai
dasIpushedmy sel
finbetweenthem.Ther
e
weret hosewhower eshoutingbutIcouldn'
t
carelessIwant edtoseemyKonke." Konke!!
"
Thepar amedi cswer et
ryi
ngt otakeheroutof
thecart hatIcouldn'
tevenr ecogni
zeditmine
thewayi twassodamaged." Konke!
!"I
screamedhy steri
cal
lytr
yingtomakemywayt o
thecarbutt hepol i
ceheldme
"
Cal
m downmant
heyar
ehel
pingher
"
Me:
"Nol
eav
emeal
oneIwantt
oseeher
!"
"
Youwill
seeherbutnowl
ett
hepar
amedi
csdo
t
hei
rjobandsaveher"
Me:"Konkedon'
tdi
eonmeplease.
.I
'
m sor
ry!
"I
screamedli
keamadmanandwi ggl
ingmysel
f
fr
om thepoli
ce'
sgri
pbuti
twastoostr
ong.
Theyfinall
ytookheroutandr ushedhertothe
hospit
al wi
thmef oll
owingbehindthem.As
soonaswear ri
vedtheyrushedoffwithher.I
pacedupanddownpani ckingashell!I
tcan'tbe
thatworseshehav etobef i
ne.Itookmyphone
andcalledmysi st
erSqalo
Sqal
o:"
Ina"
Me:
"Ineedy
ou"Tear
sfal
ldownmyf
ace
Sqal
o:"
Whathappenedwher
ear
eyou"
Me:
"Konkewasinvolvedinacaracci
dentsi
s
I
'mi
nt hehospi
tal
rightnow"
Sqalo:
"Ohmygoodnesswhichhospit
al?
"It
old
herthehospi
tal
thenhungup.Ical
l
edmyot her
si
sterSihl
e.
Si
hle:
"Mybr
o"
Me:"
Konkewasi nv
olvedi
ncaraccidentsi
sI'
m
i
nthehospit
alri
ghtnow"myvoicewas
br
eakingt
oev er
ywordIwassay i
ng
Si
hle:
"Ohnowear
ecomi
nghangi
nthebr
o"
Iwentt
ositont
hebenchandbur
iedmyf
aceon
myhands.Thewai
twaskil
l
ingme!
"
Inamandl
a"Ilookedupandgotupthenthr
ew
mysel
finherarms."Ssshshewil
lbefi
ne"
Me:
"Thi
sisal
lmyf
aul
tIshoul
dn'
thav
etookher
homev el
eshedidn'
twanttomeetthef amil
yI
shoul
dhav el
i
stenedtoher"Shepul
ledback
andtookmet othebenchthenshepressedmy
headonhercheststr
okingmyback
Sqal
o:"
Don'tblameyoursel
fInayouwantedher
tomeetyourfamil
yitsshowshowmuchshe
meantoyou.Itsnotyourfaul
tthefami
l
ywer e
har
shtoher "
Me:
"Whatwill
Ibeifshedoesn'tmakei
t?What
wi
ll
IsaytoSbonga"Mor et
earsrandownmy
f
aceasIthoughtoftheunt
hinkabl
e.
Sqal
o:"
Heyheyy ouneedtobeposi
ti
venow
Konkeisgoingnowhereshewi
ll
befine"Ipul
l
ed
backandlookedather
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orcomi
ng"
Sqalo:"
Youar emybrotherInaIwil
lalwaysbe
withyouwheny ouneedme"shewi pedmy
tearswiththebackofherhands.Justthen
Sihl
eandherhusbandwal kedin.Theygreet
ed
wegr eetedback.Si
hlepull
edmei ntowarm
embr
ace.
Vi
ncent
:"
Anynewssof
ar?
"
Me:
"No"
Si
hle:
"Whathappened?
"
Sqal
o:"
Letmejustsayt
hedi
nnerdi
dn'
tgowel
l
sher
anoutcry
ing"
Vincent:
"Iknewyouareincapabl
eoft
akingcar
e
ofherbutshewoul dn'
tl
istentomeyouknow
nothingabouttaki
ngcareofawoman!!"
Me:
"Don'tyoudaretal
kshitSbaliIknowhowto
t
akecareofmywoman!Myagedoesn' tmake
meincapablesopleasedon'
tinsultmecozI
wi
ll
losemymi nd"
Hel
aughedandl
ookedatme
Vincent
:"
Youar eaboyInamandlaasmall
boy
youknownot hingaboutbei
ngaman!How
manyt i
mesdi dItel
lyoutol
eavemydaughter
butyoudidn'
tlist
enIfshedaredieI
'
m goi
ngto
ki
llyou!
!"
Sihl
e:"
Cal
m downhoneyt
hisi
snott
her
ight
ti
mef ort
his"
Me:"Don'tactli
key oucareabouthercozy ou
don't
.Yazy ounev erceaset oamazemewer en'
t
youtheonewhowasbeggi ngust oaccepty ou
butnowy oucan'tacceptme.Yououtoft hem
all
shouldknowbet t
erthatwhenl ov
ef i
ndy ouit
hasfindy ou.If
ail t
ounder standwhyy oucan' t
dothesamef ory ourdaught er.Yousucha
hypocri
te!"Hewal kedtomeandpul ledmeup
withmycl othes
Si
hle:
"St
opitpl
easeyouneedt
ocal
m down"He
pul
l
edhim awayfrom me.
"Kuhl
ekonkeZwane"Sai
dthebrownchocol
ate
femal
edoctorwit
hbigeyes.Thr
oughherwhit
e
coatyoucanseehercur
veybody.
Me:
"Howi
sshedoct
or"
Doc:
"Hercondi
ti
onisver
ycrit
icalatthe
momentthere'
sclot
ti
ngofbloodout si
det
he
bl
oodvesselsi
nherbrai
n.Theclotti
ngcan
causepr
essuret
obuildinsi
deherskul
lwhi
ch
i
tsli
kel
ytoresul
tinpermanentbr
aindamage"
Me:
"Ther
e'smustbesomet
hingy
oucandoct
or
t
ohelpher"
Doc:
"Wewil
ldowhat
everi
ttakest
osav
eher
andt
hebaby"
Vi
ncent
:"
Shei
spr
egnant
?"
Me:
"Thebaby
?"Webot
hsai
datonce
Doc:
"Yesshei
stwomont
hspr
egnant
"
Me:"
Wowpl easesav
ethem bot
hI'
m beggi
ng
youdoc.Canweseeher?"
Doc:"
I'
m sor
ryyoucan'
twearest
il
lbusywi
th
herIwouldaskyoutocomebackinthe
morning"
Vi
ncent
:"
Thanky
oudoc"
Doc:"Thatwi
l
lbeal
lfornow"Shesmi
l
edand
walkedaway
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngt
obeaf
ather
"Isai
dexci
tedl
y
Sqal
o:"
Congr
atul
ati
onsbr
o"
Si
hle:
"Yeahbr
o"
Me:"Thanksladi
es"Ismi
l
edwi del
ythi
nkingof
thegreatnews.Wowhappywoul dn'
tbean
understat
ementIwasecstat
ic.Lor
dplease
savethem both.
Vi
ncent
:"
Mxm!
"Heheadedout
Si
hle:
"Il
ovey
ouguy
s"Sheki
ssedourf
oreheads
Us:"
Welovey
out
oo"Shef
oll
owedherangr
y
husband
Me:"
Youcangor
estsi
sthanky
ouf
orbei
ng
her
ewit
hme"
Sqal
o:"
Theysai
dwemustcomet
omor
rowl
et'
s
gohome"
Me:
"Ican'
tmysonneedme"
Sqal
o:"
Okaythen"Wewentsepar
ateway
s.I
waswelcomedbySbonga'
swaili
ng.
Me:
"Whati
swr
ong"
Li
z:
"Idon'
tknowhedoesn'
ttel
lwher
edoesi
t
hur
t"
It
ookhim andsatdownont
hecouchcal
ming
Sbonga.
Me:
"Whati
sitboy
?"
Sbonga:
"Daddywher
e'smommy
"
OhGod
Me:"Uhm..
uh..
"Ist
utter
edLizlookedatme.I
whisper
edtoherwhatwentdown." Mommyi s
si
ckboyshei satthehospit
albutshewil
lbe
backsoondon'tcr
ydaddyi shereokay
"He
noddedIwipedhistear
swi t
hmypal ms"Get
mehi sbl
anketandyogurtLiz"
Liz:"
Okay "shedi
sappearedandcamebackI
wr appedhim wit
hhisblanketandfeedhi
m hi
s
yoghur twhil
ewatchi
ngsomecar toons.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
"StopitBangi.
..
pl.
.e.
ase"Igiggledgaspi
ngfor
airbuthecouldn'tst
optickl
ingme." Bangi
maan! "hestoppedandcr awl edontopofme
andkissedmyl ipspassionately
Bangi
:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oonowl
etmego"
Bangi
:
"Sl
eepov
er"Iwi
denedmyey
es
Me:"
Youwantmysi
stert
oki
l
lmenoBangi
get
of
fmeIhavetogo"
Bangi
:
"Youwi
l
lcomet
omor
row?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowshei
sal
readysuspi
cious"
Bangi:
"Onemorekisske"Weki ssedasoft
moanescapedi nmymouth.Hegotupf r
om me
Irol
ledoutofbedandgotdressedsinceIwas
i
nmyunder garmentsonl
y.Itookmyphoneand
checktheti
me
Me:
"Ohshi
t!
!"
Bangi
:
"What
?"
Me:"
I'
m sof
ucki
ngdeadi
ts7:
30pm Bangi
oh
God"
Bangi
:
"Rel
axi
tcan'
tbet
hatbad"
OhGodt
hisboy
Me:
"Youdon'
tknowmysi
sterBangi
bye!
"It
ook
t
hecarkeysandmademywayout
Bangi
:
"Nogoodby
eki
ssny
ana"mxm
Igoti
nmycarImeanmysi
ster
'scarandl
eft
.
Iwasshaki
ngandmyhear
twasbeat
ingf
ast
.
Itookadeepbr eat
handwal kedin.Isawt he
noteont hefridge:Wentt odropPKt ot he
ai
rport.Isear chedthr oughthehouseandt hey
werenott here.Reli
efsur gedthroughme.I
decidedt otakeaqui ckshowert owashof f
Bangi'sscent .WhenIf i
nishedIsli
ppedi nt
o
shortpjsandwentdownst air
stocook
somet hingf ordinnerbutIcal l
edherfir
stto
checki ftheyar eokay .
Si
sKat
:"
Sis"
Me:
"Wher
ear
eyouguy
sar
eyouokay
?"
SisKat:
"Yeswearecoming"Ihungupand
star
tedcooki
ng.AsIwashalfwayt hroughmy
cookingmyphonerangIcouldn'
trecognized
thenumber
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
"Lami.
.t
heyt
ookhi
m"cr
iedmysi
steront
he
othersi
de
Me:
"Si
sIcan'
theary
ou"
SisKat
:"
Iwashi
j
ackedt
heyshotmeandt
ook
Lami"
myhear
tski
ppedabeat
Me:
"Ohnoowher
ear
eyounow"
SisKat:
"Iaskedhel
pedfr
om someguyheis
dri
vingt
ot hehospi
tal
butIdon'
twantt
ogot o
thehospit
alThandoIwanttofi
ndmyso..
."The
call
cutoff.OhmygoodnessIwentupstai
rsto
changedint
ojeanandt
-shi
rtt
henwent
downstai
rsIswit
chedt
hestoveoffandtook
thecarkeysandmyphonethatst
artedr
ingi
ng.
Me:"Bangi cal
lmel at
erI'
m onmywayt othe
hospit
al nowmysi sterhavebeenshotandmy
nephewi skidnapped"Isobbedanddroppedthe
cal
l.Irushedoutsideandhoppedinthecarthen
speedof f.
Itri
edtocal
lButi
PKbutIcoul
dn'
treachhi
m
thencall
edbut
iTbose
But
iTbose:
"Chi
cken"
Me:
"Si
s..
Kat.
.wasshot
..
.Lami
"Ispokesof
ast
Tbose:
"Cal
m downchi
ckenandt
ell
mewhat
'
s
goi
ngon"
Me:
"Si
sKatwasshotandt
heyt
ookLami
"
Tbose:
"Shi
t!
!gi
vemef
ewhour
sokay
"
Me:"
Okay"Ihungup.Bangiwascal
li
ngnone
st
opbutIignoredhi
m andcal
ledSi
sToyaand
myfri
ends.
Uponar ri
valIr
ant otherecepti
onistand
enquiredtheytoldmet owaitandt heyshowed
meaguywhobr oughtmysi st
er.Hewasseat ed
onthebenchbl oodal l
overhisclothes.Iwent
tohim andsatnex tt
ohi m"Heyt hanky ouf
or
bri
ngingmysi sterI
'm Thando"
"
Nopr
obl
em si
sI'
m St
hembi
so"
Me:
"Whathappened"
St
he:
"If
oundheront
her
oadwav
ingf
orhel
p"
Me:
"Howi
sshenow"
Sthe:"
Therewassomuchbl oodandshewas
unconsciousthet imewegether ebutshewill
bef i
ne"Icouldn'thel
pbutcryloud"I
'm sorr
y
pleasedon'tcry"Hef l
unghisarmsaroundme
andcomf ortedme.Al lowi
ngmet owethi st-
shirt
.Hesmel lsodi v
ineifImustsay.
"
Thando"Il
ookedupi
twasBangi
Igotupand
wentt
ohisarms
Bangi
:
"Icameasf
astasIcoul
dI'
m sor
ry"We
wentt
ositont
hebench.Thewai
twaswast
oo
muchforme
Me:"
Whyaretheysl
ow..
.may
beweshoul
dgo
andlookf
orLamiBangi
"
Bangi:
"I
m sur
ethehospi
tal
will
reportt
hisand
thepoli
cewil
ll
ookforhi
m don'
tcry"Hewiped
mytears.
Me:
"Whati
ftheyhur
thi
m..
ohGod"
Bangi
:
"SshhLami
wil
lbef
ine"
Me:"
Youdon'
tknowthat
!!
!"Iscr
eamed"
I'
m
sor
ryI'
mreal
l
ysorr
y"
Bangi
:
"Iunder
standbaby"Justt
hensisToya,
KBandPreewal kedi
n.Theyallcametohug
me.Stheexpl
ainwhathappened.
Si
sToy a:
"Jesustheywerecomingf
rom my
pl
ace.PleaseLordsaveLami"Weallsatt
her
e
myfri
endscomf orti
ngme.
"
Khethokuhl
eMhlongo"Weall
stoodupand
l
ookedatthetal
lski
nnydoc
Me:
"Howi
sshe?
"
Doc:
"Ar
eyoual
lfami
l
y?"
Me:
"Yes"
Doc:
"Luckyshegotherebeforeshel
ostt
oo
muchbl oodthenal
readyshelost
.Weremov
ed
t
hebulletssheispr
omi si
ng"
Si
sToy
a:"
Howmanybul
l
ets"
Doc:
"3t
woonleftl
egand1ont heotherl
eg"I
cl
osedmyeyesandbreat
hedoutloudl
y.Pree
br
ushedmybackIopenedthem agai
n
Me:
"Shewi
l
lbeokayt
hough?
"
Doc:
"Yesalt
houghweareworri
edaboutt
he
ot
hertwin'
shearti
tsv
eryf
aint
"
Si
sToy
a:"
Twi
n?"
Doc:
"She3mont
hsand2weekspr
egnantwi
th
t
wins"
SisToya:
"Wowthatgr
eatnewspl
easesav
e
them al
ldoct
or"
Me:
"Canweseeher
?"
Doc:
"I
'm af
rai
dnotcomebackt
omor
row
morni
ng"
SisToya:
"Thanky
oudoc"Icoul
dn'
tst
opcr
ying
thi
nki
ngaboutLami.
Doc:"Letmegi
vehersomethi
ngforshock"He
disappear
edandcamebackwithaninject
ion
thenextminut
eIwasout.
•
NARRATED
•
"
Mommy
"
Mj gotafri
ghtandhitt
hebrakehard
screechi
ngsoundfil
l
edhisears.Hetur
nedthe
l
ightonandlookedatbackhiseyesshotup
whenhesawat oddl
erseat
edont hebackseat
.
Mj
:
"Ohshi
t!
"Hecur
sedl
oudl
y.
"
Iwantmommy
"Theboy
'sl
i
psshi
ver
edhewas
i
nver
geofcr
ying
Mjhithi
sheadhar
dhowcanhebesocar el
ess
hecouldhav
echeckedf
ir
stbef
oredr
ivi
ngoff.
Hi
smi
ndwasbuzzi
ngnotsur
ewhatt
odo.
Shouldheleavet
hechil
dont hepavementand
goorhemustgot othepoli
ceanddr oppedhim
ther
ebutthatwil
lrai
sesuspi
cions.Hestart
ed
thecaranddroveoff
.HisbossO2wasal ready
call
i
ng.
Mj
:
"Boss"
O2:"
Wheret
hefuckar
ey ouIhav
ebeenwai
ti
ngI
hopeyouar
enotshi
tt
ingonmeboy!"
Me:
"I
'm comi
ngboss"
O2:
"Beher
ein15mi
nut
es"Hehungup.
Mjspedof
ftohisoneofhisgir
ls.Hetookthe
boywhowasal r
eadycr
yingandmadehi sway
tot
hedoorthatswungopenafterheknocked.
Pal
esa:
"Mj
"
Mj
:
"Letmei
npl
ease"Hi
svoi
cewast
rembl
i
ng
Hewal
kedi
n
Pal
esa:
"Whoist
hiscryi
ngcut
yboy"Palesafal
l
i
nlovewit
htheboythemomenthereyesland
onhi
m.
Mj:
"Pl
easelookaf
terhi
m unt
ilIknowwhatdo"
HegavetheboytoPalesawhocradl
edtheboy
br
ushi
nghisback
Palesa:
"Whati
sgoi
ngonMj
whoi
shei
she
yourson?"
Mj
:
"NoIwi
l
lexpl
ainwhenIcomeback"
Palesa:
"Expl
ainnowMj other
wiseleavewit
h
hi
m! "Hebrushedhisheadwithhisshaki
ng
handandbr eathedoutl
oudly
Mj
:
"YouknowO2"
Pal
esa:
"Thatcr
uel
gangl
ordwhodoesntknow
hi
m"
Mj
:
"Het
ri
ckedmePal
ethenextmi
nut
eIm
owinghim andtheonlywaytosett
lemydebti
s
toosteal
5car sforhi
mt henhewil
lletmegoi
f
Idon'
thewi l
lmassacremyf ami
ly
"
Pal
esa:
"OhGodMj
!Tel
lthepol
i
ce"
Mj:
"Areyoucrazypeopl
eli
keO2hav
e
connect
ionsevery
where!
!"
Pal
esa:"
Sot
heboywhatdoeshegott
odowi
th
al
lofthi
s"
Mj:
"IwassoscaredIwi
llgetcaughtIshotthe
gi
rlanddr
oveoffwit
houtcheckingthecar.The
boywasatbackseatsl
eeping"
Pal
e:"
Yhootel
lyourfami
l
ythi
sismessedupt
he
boyneedshi
smot herMj
"
Mj:
"Justakecareofhim unt
ilIknowwhattodo
Idon'twantanyt
hingt
hatwillcomebacktome
okay.Itr
ustyouPalehenceIcamet oyou"
Pal
esa:
"Idon'
tl
iket
hisMj
butf
iney
oucango"
Mj:
"Thanky ou"Heknewthathecanal
way
s
t
rustPalesa."Il
oveyou"
Pal
esa:
"Il
oveyoutoo"Theyki
ssedthenhe
wal
kedoutdri
vingtoO2'
sterr
it
ory
.
[
06/
01,
08:
11]W:
46
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
Sbongafall
asleepIchangedhi
mint
ohi
spj
s
andtuckedhiminourbedroom.
Me:"Ilovey ouboy"Ikissedhisti
nylipsand
chuckledt hinki
ngifhewasawakehewoul d
havescol dedatme.Mj istheonethattol
dhim
thatboy skissgirl
sonly.Heiscorrupti
ngmy
sont hatone.
Istri
ppednakedandwenttothebathr
oom t
o
takeashower.Ir
ecall
all
theevent
softheday
asIlett
hewaterhitme.
Whataneventf
ullday.Fi
rsti
tstar
tedwit
h
KonkedemandingsexIshouldhaveknownshe
i
spregnantshehavebeeni mpossi
blel
atel
yher
moodswingsandt hewayshewant edme
i
nsi
deofherev
erynowandt
hen.
Thenther
ewast hiscr
azybit
chThabsil
enxthat
boyisnotmysonbutt omakewifeyhappyIwil
l
dotheDNAt estbutwhensheisawakeandwell
Ihavenoti
met orushforsomebitchwho
cheat
edonme.
Iswi t
chedof fthewaterandgotoutt hen
wr appedat owelaroundmywai stthenshuff
led
tot hebedroom.Idr i
edandloti
onedt henI
sli
ppedi nt
opj s.Ikneltdownplaci
ngmy
elbowsont heedgeoft hebed.
Me:"DearFatherIknowthatIdon't
communi catewithyouoften,IknowmyLor dI
onlyremembery ouwhent hingsarenotgoing
wellandI'm sor
ryfort
hat.Pleasesendyour
angelstosav eKonkeandourunbor nbaby.
Bri
ngherbackt ouswest illneedherAmen"I
sl
ippedintobedjustasIwasaboutt oswi t
ch
offthesidelampmyphoner ang"Lwazi"
Lwazi
:
"Konke.
..
cal
l
ed.
.cr
ying.
.boom.
.cl
i
ii
..
..
"
shecr
ied
Me:
"Ican'
theary
ouLwazi
"
Lwazi
:"
Wher
eisKonkeIt
hinkshegotacar
acci
dent
"
Me:"Yessheisi
nthehospi
taly
ouareri
ght
"I
bri
efedherandshesai
dshewill
seeher
tomorrow.
Myphoner
angaf
terIhungup"
Lil
bro"
Mj:"
Openup"Igr
oanedanddr
aggedmy
sel
fout
ofbedthenwenttoopent
hegat
eandt
hedoor
forhi
m.
Me:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Mj:
"Imessedupbr
oIneedy
ourhel
p"hi
svoi
ce
wasshaking
Me:
"Whathav
eyoudonenow"
Mj
:
"O2t
ri
ckedmebr
oandnowI
'
m owi
nghi
m"
Me:
"DammitmaanMjyouknowhowdanger
ous
O2i
s.Whatdoeshewant
!!"
Mj
:
"Tost
eal5car
sforhi
m"
Me:
"Ohshi
t!
"Iwal
kedar
oundbr
ushi
ngmyhead
"
Wehav
etot
ell
theel
der
s"
Mj
:
"Wecan'
tbr
oIal
readyst
oleonecar
"
Me:
"What
!"Isl
appedhi
m
Mj
:
"I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"Whyisithar
dforyoutost
ayoutoft
roubl
e
Mawakhel
omuziJunior
!"
Mj:"
Ngiyaxol i
sabut i
"(I
'm sor
rybuti
!)Isl
apped
him again."ThatnotallbrothecarIstolethe
wasat oddl eratthebackseatandIshothi s
mom butont helegs"JesusIswearthisisnot
mybr other.Islappedhim again.Hegroaned
rubbinghischeek.
Me:
"Wher
eist
het
oddl
er"
Mj
:
"Hei
swi
thPal
esa"
Me:"
JesusMj
!Youhav
etot
akehi
m backbut
how"
Mj:
"It
ookthemom'sphoneI'
m sureIcancal
l
someonecloset
oheronhercontact
s"
Me:"
Tomorr
owmorni
ngy
ouwill
maket
hatcal
l
andwetaki
ngt
hechi
l
dbackt
othemom"
Mj
:
"Ehbut
ipl
easedon'
ttel
lthef
olks"
Me:"
I'
m afraidIhavetoMj theyar et
heonewho
wil
lgetO2of fyourback..
gosl eepnow.Iwil
lgo
seeKonkei nthemor ni
ngy ouwi l
lcal
lmewhen
youhavethechi l
dthenwet akethechi
ldt
othe
mothertogether"
Mj
:
"Thanky
oubr
o"
Me:"Youareabusingmyl ov
ef ory
ouMj "I
punchedhim andwenttomybedr oom.Lord
thi
sboyIsweari fhedoesn'
tlooklikemom I '
d
sayhewasswi tchedatthehospit
al .Hi
smi ddl
e
namei sTROUBLE
Thenextmorni
ngIwentt ov
isi
tWifey
.She
l
ookedsopeaceful
throughthepi
pesthatwer
e
al
loverherf
aceandthebandageonherhead.
Isatdownandhel dherhandandkissedit
.
"SawbonaMaZwane"( Hel
loMaZwane)" I
'm
sorryf
orthehurt
fulthi
ngsmyf amil
ysaidto
you.Ishoul
dhaveli
stenedtoyouI'
m sorr
y.
Pleasecomebacktousmyl ove.Youhaveto
wakeupbabyandheart hegoodnews.Wear e
expecti
ngabundleofjoyhi
sorherhealth
dependony oubaby.Comebackplease.
"
Igotupandki ssedherdr yli
psmyt earsfallon
hercheeks.Iwipedt hem andkissedheragain
thensatdownandr estedmyheadonherl egs
playi
ngwithherfingersandtalkingtoherabout
ourfutur
e.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwanteditsobadtobeadr eam butthe
beepi
ngsoundsoft hehospit
almachineand
theheavi
nessofmyey esfrom al
lthecryi
ng
confi
rmedt hati
twasn'
tadream.Theyt ookmy
Lami,
myhopeithembalamii
soutther
ewit
h
somecruel
bastar
d.Iopenedmyeyesandthey
metadarkski
ndoctorwhoseli
pscurv
ed
sweet
ly.
Doc:
"Wel
comebackMi
ssMhl
ongo"
Me:"Iwantmysondocpl easehel
pmef indhim"
Icri
edhy steri
call
yhurt
ingmy sel
fintheprocess
butIdidn'tcare.Thepaininmylegswasbet ter
thennotknowi ngwheremysoni s?
I
shest il
lal
i
ve?Whot ookhi
m why
?Didheate?
I
'm sur
ehei sscar
edandcryi
nghi
slungsout
whereverheisnow.
Doc:
"Youneedtocal
m downmi
ssy
ouar
e
hur
ti
ngyoursel
f"
Me:"
Bathat
heit
hembalamidokot
elangi
cel
a
ungi
ncedebandl
a"(
Theytookmyhopedoctor
pl
easehelpme)Icr
ied
Doc:
"Misspl
easeI
'
m beggi
ngyoucal
m down
wereport
edthi
smatt
ertot
hepoli
ceandthey
wi
l
lcomeandgety
ourst
atement
..
.."
Me:
"St
atementforwhatt
heyshoul
dbel
ooking
f
ormyson!"Heengulf
edmewi t
hahugfi
ll
i
ng
mynostr
il
swit
hhi sdi
vi
nescent
Doc:
"Ssshhhyoursonwillbefoundyouneedt
o
cal
m downf orthesakeofthetwobundl
esof
j
oyyouar ecarr
y i
ng"
Huh?Ipul
l
edbackandl
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Ibegy
ourpar
don"
Doc:"Congr atul
ationsmi ssy ouare3mont hs
andt woweekspr egnantwi t
ht wobundl esof
j
oy "Myhear tskippedabi tIfeltmyhead
spinning.Ohmygoodnesshowdi dIlett hi
s
happen?What '
swr ongwi thmeev er
yti
meIf al
l
withamanIf allpregnant.Istart
edcr y
ingal l
overagai n.Im goingt oturnonly24y earst hi
s
yearbutI '
m goi ngt obeamot herof3al ready.
I'
m suchadi sgrace." MissIwi l
lhaveto
tr
anqui l
izey ouifyoudon' tcalm downIwant ed
yourfami lytofindy ouawakebuti fyou...
"
Me:"OkayI'
m sor
ry"Iwipedmyt
earsandsmil
ed
"I
'
mf ineandI'
m smili
ngasyoucansee"He
chuckled
Doc:
"Ar
eyoui
npai
n?"
Me:
"Yesabi
tar
eyousur
eI'
m pr
egnant
?"
Doc:
"Hundr
edper
centsur
emi
ss"
Me:
"Pl
easedon'
ttel
lany
oneI
'
m pr
egnant
"
Doc:
"I
'm af
rai
dtheyal
readyknow"
Me:
"Oh"
Doc"I
'
m sorr
y..
thenur
sewil
lcomeandgi
veyou
abaththenyouwil
lhavebr
eakf
astandt
ake
yourmeds"
Me:
"Thanky
oudoc.
.wi
l
lIbeabl
etowal
k
t
hough?"
Doc:"
Noyouwil
luset
hewheel
chai
runt
ily
ou
ful
l
yrecov
er"
Me:
"OhGodcant
hisdaygetanybet
ter
"
Doc:
"I
'm sor
rybutatl
easti
tfort
empor
arybe
gr
atef
ulf
ort
hat
"
Me:"
Iwi
l
lbegr
atef
ulwhenIhol
dmysoni
nmy
ar
ms"
Doc:"
Don'tworryyoursonwil
l befound"he
gavemyshoul derasqueezethanmadehi sway
outgiv
ingmeachancet ocry.Every
thingi
sjust
toomuchf orme.Thenur sewalkedinpushing
awheelchair
.
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
squi
ckl
yandl
ookedather
.
Nur
se:
"Mor
ningmi
ssMhl
ongo"
Me:
"Mor
ningnur
se"
Nurse:
"I'
m goingtogiv
ey ouabath"Shehel
ped
met ositonthewheelchairt
henpushedmet o
thebathroom whereshebathedme.After
bathi
ngandev er
ythi
ngshehelpedmeupt omy
neatl
ymadebed.
"
Youbr
eakf
asti
scomi
ngnow"
Me:
"ButI
'
m nothungr
y"
Nurse:
"Youhavetoeatfort
hesakeofthesoul
s
youarecarr
ying"Don'
tremi
ndmet hat
.She
walkedout.
Mybr eakfastcameIstart
edf orcingitdownI
hadtof ormybabies.Ican'
tbel i
ev eIfal
l
pregnantagain*gr
oan*Thedooropenedmy
si
ster,ToyaandTbosewal kedi n.Thandoranto
meandgav emeabonecr ushinghug.
Thando:
"ThankGody
ouar
eal
i
ve"
Me:
"Isai
ditonceIwi
l
l r
epeati
tdeathain'
tmy
f
ri
end"shegiggl
edwipi
ngoffhertear
s.
Tbose:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngdawg"
Me:
"Pl
easef
indmysonTbosepl
ease"
Tbose:
"Myguy
sarealr
eadyoutther
elooki
ng
forhi
m Iwi
l
ldowhateveri
tst
akes"
Me:"IknowIwi
llcountony
ouanyt
ime"He
gav
emeawar m hugandki
ssedmyfor
ehead
Tbose:
"St
aycal
m Iwi
llcomebackwit
hhim and
whoeverdi
dthi
swil
lbepuni
shedtheonl
yway
y
ouandIknowt
hist
imel
etmedoi
t"
Me:"
Aslongyoubringmysonsafeandsound
youcandoanythi
ngy ouwant
"Hechuckl
edand
ki
ssedmyforeheadonceagai
nthanhelef
t
Toya:"
Congr
atul
ati
ons"Shebl
i
nkedbackher
tear
s
Me:
"Thankyou..
..
pleasedon'
ttel
lany
oneabout
t
hepregnancyespecial
lyPK"
Toya:
"Nopr
obl
em chomma.
..
wantmet
ofeed
you"
Il
aughed
Me:"
Nof r
iendIwasshotont
hel
egsnotar
ms"
shechuckled
Toya:
"Whyeverybadthi
ngishappeni
ngtoyou
myf r
iendGodisunf
airser
iousl
yyouaret
he
goodpersonyoudon'
tdeserveall
oft
his"
Me:
"Hemustt
hinkhighl
yofmeheknowthatI
wi
ll
over
comeev er
ystor
m hei
sthr
owingatme"
Toy
a:"
Yousuchast
rongwoman"
Me:
"Hav
eyoucal
lPK"
Thando:
"Hei
sunr
eachabl
esi
s"
Me:
"Iwonderwhati
sgoi
ngon"
Thenursecameinandgav ememedsItook
them t
henshel
eft.Thando'
sphoner
ang
Thando:
"Yes..
.youdo.
..omg.
..
weareat
hospi
tal
..
.thankyousomuch"Welookedather
i
nantici
pati
on
"
Someguysaidhef
oundLami
hewi
l
lexpl
ain
whenhegether
e"
Me:
"Youar
enotj
oki
ng?
"
Thando:
"Iwi
l
lnev
erj
okel
i
ket
hissi
s"
Toy
a:"
Hopei
tsr
eal
l
yhi
m"
Me:
"Met
oo"Weshar
edagr
ouphugpr
ayi
ng.
Approxi
mat el
y30mi nut
eslat
ertwoguy
swho
l
ookedalikeeventhoughtheonewhois
youngeri
slightski
nnedwalkedi
n
"
Mommy
!!
"Scr
eamedLami
ashesawme.
Igazedattheguyt hatwascar r
y i
nghim our
eyeslockedIsawhal fofmy sel
finhi mtheeyes,
nose,li
pseventheski ncol
our.Heshi ft
edhis
eyesonmeandl ookedathi sbrotherwho
l
ookedbackathi m withwi deopenmout h.I
thi
nktheycouldseewhatIwasseei ngbutthe
questi
oniswhatdoesi tmean?
"
Mommy !
!"Hewi
ggl
edhi
msel
fcr
yingmaki
ng
t
heguyt
osnapout.
"
Greet
ingsev
ery
one"
Us:"
Greet
ings"Hegav
ememysonIwasso
happy
Me: "
Im sor
ryLamimommyi sver
ysor
ry"I
kissedhim andsqueezedhi
minmyarms"Di
d
theyhurtyou"
Lami
:
"No"
Me:
"Di
dyoueat"Henoddedandbur
iedhi
shead
onmyneckweeping.Shamemyboyhada
r
ought
ime.Ist
rokedhi
sback.
Toy
a:"
Sowher
edi
dyouf
indhi
m?"
Thel
i
ghtski
nguycl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
"I
'
m Mj Sit
hol
ethisismybr ot
her
Nkosinamandl
aSithole.Well
theboywas
droppedatourgatethismorning"
Thando:
"Howdi
dyougetmynumber
"
Nkosi
namandla:
"Fr
om t
heboyi
twasst
uckon
hi
sforehead"
Me:
"Whyy
ourpl
acet
hisdoesn'
taddup"
Nkosinamandla:
"I
'm sor
rywecan'
thel
pt omake
i
taddupbutt hatwhatweknowandpl ease
excuseus"
Hi
svoi
cewasv
eryunst
eady
Me:"
Thanky
ousomuchhowcanIt
hanky
ou
guy
s"
Mj
:
"Ahnot
hingwewer
ejusthel
ping"
Me:
"Thanky
ouonceagai
n"Theywal
kedout
Thando:
"Somet
hingi
snotr
ighther
e"
Me:"
I'
mjustgl
admysoni
sback"Iki
ssedhi
s
f
orehead
Toy
a:"I
t'
sar el
ief.NowthatLami
isbackletme
l
eavelleftmyhusbandandmysonwi thout
makingthem breakfast
"
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngher
ewi
thusbabe"
Toya:
"Youmor el
i
keasi st
ertomeKat
"She
ki
ssedallofourf
oreheadsandwal
kedout
.
Me:
"Lami
"
Lami
:
"Ki
tKat
"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Lami
:
"Okaymommy"
Me:
"Ar
eyouhungr
y?"
Lami
:
"NoLami
isf
ull
"
Thando:
"Imi
ssyouLamicomehere"Shetook
hi
m andsatdownontheprov
idedchai
r.
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryThando"
Thando:
"Forwhatsi
s"
Me:"Fordisappointingy ouonceagai n.Ikeep
fal
li
ngpr egnantlikeI'm sickint hehead.I 'm not
agoodexampl etoy ou.Inev erfollowwhatIsay
toyou.I'm goingtot urn24y earsbutI '
m going
tobeamot herof3al ready .I
tsembar rassi
ngby
thetimeIr each30howmanybabi eswi l
lIhave
bythen?I '
m suchast upidgi rl
whataboutmy
career?OhGodI '
m sohat ingmy selfri
ghtnow"I
cri
edl ouder
Shestoodupwi
thLamiandputhi
m onmyl
aps
thenshepul
l
edusint
oanembrace
Thando: "Comeonsi sdon' tbehar dony oursel
f.
Thingsusual lynotgoaswepl anthatdoesn't
makey oust upi
d.Nexty earyouar edoingyour
fi
naly earandI '
m notdisappointedI'm happywe
arehav ingtwinsyaaythatbl essingisnotfor
everyoneabakhet heki
ley okphelaabathola
amawel e.Iknowforsur eBut iPKisgoingtobe
happyandhewi l
lspoil
youmor
erot
tent
hen
youalreadyar
e.Don'tcry
"
Me:
"I
'm notspoi
l
ed"
Thando:"Yesy ouar
ethatguywill
move
mount ai
nsf oryousi
s.Don'
tcryit
snotgoodfor
myni eces.Theotheronealr
eadyhaveafai
nt
heatbeatwedon' twantanythi
ngbadtohappen
tothem"
Me:"
Whosai
dtheyar
egir
..
.wai
tyousai
dthe
onehav
eafai
nthear
t"
Thando:
"Oopsnosi
s"
Me:
"Thando!
"
Thando:
"I
'm sorr
yIthoughtthedoctort
oldyou.
It
hinkhedidn'twantyoutostresssoplease
st
aycalm asy oucanI'
m beggingyou"
Shepul
l
edbackandwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Lami:
"Don'
tcr
ymommy "Hewi pedmytear
stoo
wit
hhisti
nyhands.Icoul
dn'thel
pbutsmil
emy
hear
tfel
tateasetoknowt hesuppor
tIhave
ar
oundme.Hegav
emeawetki
ssonmyl
i
ps."
I
l
oveyouKi
tKat
"
Me:"
Ilov
ey outooThembal
ami"Hesmi l
edand
nest
ledhisheadonmychest.Thandowentto
si
tdown."Isthatal
ovebi
teonyourneck?"
Thando:
"Lovebit
e?Neveri
tmustbeamosqui
to
bi
te"shelookedever
ywher
ebutnotme
Me:"
Mmmh. .
.Letmecal
lTboseandtel
lhi
m
Lamiisback"Shegavemeherphone.
Tbose:
"Chi
cken"
Me:"
Lami i
sbackcomebackIwi
l
lexpl
ainwhen
yougethere"
Tbose:
"OhthanksGodI'
m coming"Ihungup
andtri
edtocallPKhi
sphonesentmet o
voi
cemailIwasstar
ti
ngtogetworri
ednow.
Whatifsomethi
ngbadhappenedtohim.
Thando"
Hewi l
lcal
l y
ouwheny ouheget
messagesdon'tworry"Isi
ghedheavi
ly
.Tbose
walkedminut
eslater.Hiseyesdar
tedonLami
andhisli
pscurvedsweetl
y.Li
fei
ssomethi
ng
el
seguy sthefat
herofmysondidn'
twanthi
m
butnowhegott wofather
swholovehi
m dear
ly
andwill
dieforhim.
Tbose:
"Boy
!"Het
ookhi
mfr
om me
Lami
:
"Lumeee"hebeamed
Tbose:
"Theydi
dn'
thur
tyou?"
Lami
:
"No"Hesai
dshaki
nghi
shead
Tbose:
"I
'm sorr
ytheyt
ooky ou"Lami nodded
"Whathappened"Itol
dhi
m" Theressomet hi
ng
missi
ngher eandyoul
etthem goj ustl
ikethat
?"
Me:
"WhatwasIsupposet
odobraI
'
ml yi
ngon
t
hehospi
tal
wit
hbullet
shol
esonmylegs"
Tbose:
"Youshoul
dhav
ecal
l
edme!
!"
Me:"
Don'tyellatme!Iwashappymysoni s
backthatallt
hatmatter
edtomeatt he
moment !
!"Icri
edJesusthi
spregnancyi
s
makingmeacr ybaby.
Tbose:"
I'
m sorr
y"Hegav eLamitoThandoand
satnexttomet hanpul
ledmet ohischest
"Aski
esIhateitnobodygotpunishedfort
his
l
ookaty outheyshotyou"Hestrokedmyhair
unti
lIdozedoff.
4DAYSLATER
Pki sst i
l
l unr
eachabl
eandt hatmakeme
forevercr yi
ngwhichisstr
aini
ngmymunchi es
especi al
lytheonethathaveaheartpr
oblem.
Thedoct orsawitaneedtokeepme
tranquili
zedbutnowI '
mt i
redtobefor
ever
sleeping.
Me:
"Ipr
omi
sedocIwi
l
lst
aycal
m"
Doc:
"Yousai
dsoy
est
erdayMi
ssMhl
ongo"
Me:"
Iknowbutt
histi
meIpromisemnci
ii
ist
ruu
bob"Idr
ewacrossonmyforeheadmaki
nghim
tol
augh
Doc:
"Youar
esocut
e"If
rowned
Me:
"I
'm notababyI
'
m awoman"Hel
aughed
Doc:"
Ifyoucryy
ouandIwill
haveaser
iousf
ight
onthisbed"Hewinkedandwal
kedout
.
ThandoandLami
wal
kedi
nwear
ingmat
chi
ng
cl
othes
Me:"
Ncoohmyki
dsbaki
thi
"Ipout
edt
heybot
h
gi
ggled
Lami
:
"Habay
oumommy
"(how)
Me:
"I
'mf
ineboyhabay
ou"
Lami:
"I
'mf
ine"TheybothhuggedmethenLami
satonmylapsandkissedmebefor
eplayi
ng
wit
hmypjbutton
Me:
"Wher
eisTbose?
"
Thando:
"Idon'
tknowsi
shesai
dhehav
e
somethi
ngt ot
akecar
eof"
Thedoorbur stopentheboy sthatbroughtLami
walkedinwi t
htwocoupl es.Myey estravel
ed
from t
heguycal l
edMj tothetheotherbeautif
ul
womanwi thli
ghtcomplexionandi tmustbe
thei
rmot hernexttohertherewasamanwho
l
ookedl i
ketheguycal ledNkosi namandlaand
whoi shalfofmy self.From t hemant otheold
manwhol ookedli
ket heot hermannextt othe
beautifull
ightski
nnedwomanunt i
ltheyfi
nall
y
stoppedatt hisdarkbeaut ifulwomanwi thbi
g
whiteey esmyhear tski ppedabeatathow
muchdi dIlookedli
keherexceptt heskin
colour.IgazedatNkosi namandl aandthedark
womant heywer ecombi nationofmewhatt he
fuckisgoi ngonher e!!
"
OhmyGoditi
strue!
"sai
dthel
ightskinned
womanwhost
art
edcryi
nghyst
erical
l
y.
"Thi
si sunbeli
evabl
einfactit
sadream"r epl
y
thedarkwomanwhocl osedherey esand
openedt hem agai
n"Ohmygoodness"Tear s
str
eameddownherf lawlessski
n.Theyall
walkedtowar dsusthewomencr y
ingtheir
l
ungsoutandt hei
rhusbandsIassume
comf ort
ingthem.
"
Nkosi
sthandi
l
e"whi
sper
edt
hel
i
ghtski
nned
womanandr anherfingersallov
ermyf aceasi f
sheismaki ngsurei
tr eal
l
yme." Ican'
tbel i
eveit
ohmychi ld"shepull
edmei nherchesttogether
withLami andsqueezedusshesmel ll
ov el
y
"Mybaby "shesobbedokayIwasconf usedas
fuck.Shedidn'
twannapul lbackunti
lher
husbandIt hi
nksaid
"
Youar
esuf
focat
ingt
hem MommyQueen"
Shepul
l
edbackandl
ookedatmegi
ggl
i
ng.
Me:"Whogav
eyouguyst
hepermissiont
o
bargei
nmyhospi
tal
room andsqueezeourl
i
fe
outofus"
"i
t'
sreall
yhershegotst
inkingatt
it
udeli
ke
Zanokuhle"sai
dtheol
dmant heyshr
iekedint
o
l
aughter.ThandoandIl
ookedateachot her
confusedandannoyedatthesamet i
me
"Wearesorr
yt obargeinli
kethi
swhenmysons
tol
dusthattheysawy ouwecouldn'
tbel
ievei
t
wewantedtoseei fit
strueandwegotherest
il
l
Ican'
tbel
iev
ei t
.Webur i
edy ouI
ssy,howcan
youbeali
vewhenIhavebeenmourningyou
fr
om thedayy
oudiedonus."Cr
iedtheli
ght
ski
nnedwoman
Me:"I
'm notsureI
'
mf ol
l
owingMama.Myname
i
sKhet hokuhleMhlongoI'
m notI
ssywhat
ever
thatnamei smaybey ouar
econfusi
ngmewi t
h
someoneel se"
"
Whati
syourdat
eofbi
rt
h?"askedt
heman
Me:
"11Oct
ober
"
"24y earsagomywi f
egavebirthtot wins.Aboy
andagi rleverythingwasfi
nebutwheni twas
ti
met ohol dthem andseet hem wewer etold
thegi r
lpassedon.Thatwasapai nfulthingthat
everhappenedt ous"Hepausedandl ookedup
thenhel ookedbackatmewi t
hspar klingey es
"Wenev ergotachancet oholdheri nourar ms. "
Ifelttearsthreat eni
ngmyey est hi
nkingoft he
twinsI '
m car r
yingwi t
htheotheronehav ea
hear tproblem "Itwasasoul crushingencount er.
Wemadepeacewi t
hherdeath.Ev eryy ear
whenwecelebrat
ethei
rbi
rt
hday
swe'dgoto
t
hegrav
ey ardspendsomet
imewit
hherand
l
eavepr
ezzies"
Me:
"Whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osayt
ome"Isai
d
wi
thaneart
ear
svoi
ce
"I
t'
snoconci edencethaty oulookli
kemyson
andmymot her.It
hinky oucanseey oursel
ftoo
thatyoulookl ikethem andwehav enolonglost
daughtertheonl ydaught erweknowi sour
darl
ingprincesswhom wel ostunexpect
edl
y"
Me:"Nononono!"Ist
art
edcr
ying"
Ican'
tbe
yourdaught
er"
"I
'm sorrymychildwenev ermeantanyoft
his
tohappenpl easeforgi
veus.Wealsohave
questionsthatweneedt oaskfrom y
our
parents"saidtheli
ghtski
nnedwoman.
Me:"Idon'
tknowmyparent
s.Mom never
showedmemydadandsheal sovani
shedi
nto
thi
naireversi
nceIwas10yearsol
d."
"Howcany ousteal
ababyandvani
shaf
tert
hat
huh!
!"shoutedt
hedarkski
nnedwoman
"
Cal
m downMamazi"sai
dtheol
dmanr
ubbi
ng
t
heol
dwoman'sback.
Me:"Youcouldbemakingami
stakeImean
peopledolookal
ikeev
enwhentheyarenot
rel
ated"
"I
'
m sorr
ythatwewentbehi
ndyourbackand
askedyourdoct
ort
odoDNAt estand
confi
rmedit
."
Icr
iedl
oudert
hiscan'
tbehappeni
ng.
"Pleasedon'tcrybabythedoct
orwar nedus
abouty ourdeli
catecondi
ti
oncalm down
please"saidtheoldwomanengulfi
ngmewi t
h
herheav enl
ysmel l
.
"Weshouldhaveint
roducedusthemomentwe
walkedi
nsorryaboutthat
.I'
m Ndoni
yamanzi
Sit
holey
ourgrandmother"
"
I'
myourmot
herZesul
i
weSi
thol
e"sai
dthe
cr
yingl
i
ghtski
nnedwoman
"
Mawakhelomuzi
Selul
ekoSi
thol
eI'
myour
f
ather
"themansaid
"
I'
myourMkhul
u,Nhl
oni
phoTal
entSi
thol
e"
"
Uhm uhI'
m Mawakhel
omuzi
Juni
orSi
thol
eand
I
'
my ourl
i
ttl
ebrot
her"
"
Nkosi
namandl
aSi
thol
eImy
ourt
winbr
other
"
Me:
"Getoutal
lofy
ou!
!"
"
Babypl
ea.
..
"cri
edthewomanwhoi
ntr
oduced
measmymot her
Me:
"Isai
dgetout
!!
!!
"Iscr
eamedi
nangui
sh
"Iknowit
salottotakei
nbutpleasedon'
t
punishuswealsodidn'
tknow.
"Saidthewoman
shesayismymot her
Me:"Ani
zwayi
ningi
thephumani
!
!!"(
Can'
ty'
al
l
hearIsai
dgetout
!!
)
"
Letgi
veheraspaceshei
sshocked"r
epl
ythe
manwhosaidheismygrandf
ather
"Notheyar
egoingtotakeherawayfrom me
agai
nIcan'
tleaveheral
one"Brokedownthe
womanwhosai dsheismymot her.
"Wewon'tletthathappenbabyl
et'
sgo"Saidher
husbandpulli
ngherawaybutshewi ggl
ed
hersel
fandcamet ome.Shesqueezedmy
hands
"
Don'
tpuni
shmeI
ssypl
easeI
'
m beggi
n..
."
"Honeyplease"Thehusbandpulledherway
from meandt heyallwal
kedoutleavingmein
fl
oodoftears.Lami wasevencryingnow.
Thandocamet ohuggedusboth.Weal lcr
ied.
PleaseLordletital
lbeadream please.

[
06/
01,
08:
12]W:
47
KHETHOKUHLE
•
IknewsomehowIhadtocalm downfort
he
sakeofmymunchi
esthelastt
hingIwanti
stoo
l
osethem.
Imighthavenotplannedthi
spregnancybutI
l
ovethem tobit
s.Iwonderifchocolat
ecakewil
l
behappywhenIt ellhi
m aboutourbabi
es.He
havetobehappyImeanhei sagreatguyheis
notevencenti
meterclosetoMzwakhe.
Iwonderhowi sthatbastardImeanhowdoes
hefeel whenhelookathi schi
ldhehavewith
Pearlknowingverywellthathehaveotherchi
ld
outthere.Icoul
dfeelsomeone'spresenceas
myey eswer ecl
osedaf t
erthatcry
ingsessi
onI
fal
lasleep.
Iknewthatsweetscentbel
ongtosoIopened
myey esshewasweepingandsnuff
li
ngasshe
wasseatednexttome.Hereyesandfacewas
reditdi
dn'
thel
pthatsheisli
ghti
ncomplexi
on.
Me:"Thosetear
sdoesn'tdeser
vetofal
lont
hat
beauti
fulf
aceofyours"Shelookedupatme
andsmi
l
edwi
del
y
Mom: "Iwill
takethatasacompl ement"she
wipedhert earsandreachedf ormyhand" I'
m
sorryIknowy ousaidwemustl eavebutI
couldn'tl
eavebabywi t
houttalkingtoyou.I'
m
afr
aidifIgetoutoft hi
shospi t
al pr
emisesIwill
neverseey ouagain.Ican'tr
iskthatbutitsfi
ne
i
fy oust i
l
lwantmet ogoi tsokayIwi l
lleavebut
i
twi l
lbreakmet othecor e"
Iseewhatshewast
ryi
ngt
odoemot
ional
l
y
blackmai
l
ingme.
Me:"Youcanleavethen"Shelookedatmeasi f
shedidn'
texpectIwi l
lsayt
hat.Ikeptmy
seri
ousfacestari
ngbackather .Shesighedand
stoodupthensheki ssedmyforeheadbef or
e
makingherwayoutwhenshewasatt hedoorI
bursti
ntolaught
er.
Sheswi
vel
l
edar
oundandl
ookedatme.
Me:
"Emoti
onalbl
ackmai
lai
n'twor
kingt
ome
woman.
"Shelookedatmeinawe"Comeand
si
tdownmommy"shesmil
edandcamet
osi
t
nextt
omeont
heprovi
dedchai
r.
Mom: "
Youar eintr
iguinghey
"Il aughedt
hrowing
myheadbackt henlookatherasi fIwasn'
t
l
aughingasecondago.Shest aredbackatme
notsurewhattodot hensheletoutabreath.
"Nkosi
sthandil
e"
Me:
"Soy
ouar
emymom"
Webothsai
datoncethenl
ookedateachot
her
chuckl
i
ng."
Yougofir
st"
Mom:
"Nahy
ougof
ir
st"
Me:
"Nogof
ir
st"
Mom:
"Heyy
ouar
eachi
l
dher
eIsaygof
ir
st"
Me:"
Heyy ouar
ethemot
herhereIsaygofi
rst
"
Shelookedatmeweshr
iekedwit
hlaught
er
Mom:
"Youar
ecr
azy
"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Nkosi
sthandi
l
enehIwonderi
fIwil
lgetuse
t
othatnameitsabeaut
if
ulnamebytheway"
Mom:
"Beaut
if
ulasKhet
hokuhl
e"
Me:"
Thisfeel
sunrealImeanl
ikeIcan'
tbel
i
eve
t
hisishappeni
ng.All
thist
imeIhavebeenli
vi
ng
ali
e"
Mom: "Youknowwhent heyt ol
dmey oupassed
onIfeltlikepartofmewasbei ngr i
ppedof f
.I
cri
eddayandni ghtyearningt oholdy ouinmy
arms,y earni
ngt ohearyourcr y.Icouldn't
understandhowcanGodt akey ouawayf rom
me.Ist il
ldon'
tunderstandhowdi dImi ssal
l of
thi
s.I
'm apr ophetIssyIshoul dhav eknow t hey
tookyou"Mor etear
sfallonherf ace
Me: "
Ioncewentt oseeasangomaandshet old
met hatmymom' sancestor sdoesn'tr
ecognize
meIcoul dn'
tunder st
andandshecoul dn'
t
elaborate.Shesaidbei ngasangomaorpr ophet
doesn'tmeany ouknowev er y
thi
ng.Youonly
knowwhatGodandancest orsrevealt
oyou.I
guesst hiswasntr evealt
oy oucozthere'
sa
reasonbehi nditandIt hi
nki tsbecauseIhadt o
toughenupandt akecareofmyl it
tl
esister
.My
heartbreaktot
hinkwhatwoul dhav ehappened
toThandoi fmom didn'
tstol
emenott hatI
'm
notangryshedidbutIal wayslookintothi
ngs
mor ethenoneway "
Mom: "Iguessy ouarerightweshoul
dbe
grat
eful thatwefinal
l
ymety ouev
enthoughwe
l
ost23y earsofyourli
fe.Youaresomatured
foryourage"
Me:"It
hinkl
if
emademematuremor
ethanI
shouldbe"Shewi
pedmyt
ears
Mom: "
Don'tcryIpromisey
ourdoct
orIwon't
upsetyou.Weneedt hosetwi
nstostayi
nthere
aslongast heycan"
Me:"
Iguessther
easonwhyI
'
m car
ryi
ngt
wins
I
'm atwi
ntoo"
Mom:"Ohyesandyoual
sohav
eeldert
win
si
ster
s.Theyar
egoingt
obe27yearst
hisyear
"
Me:
"WowsoIhav
e4si
bli
ngst
hisi
samazi
ng"
Shecl
earedhert
hroatandl
ookedatme
ner
vousl
y
Mom:"
Yourdoct
orsai
dIcant
akey
ouhome
t
oday
"
Me:
"YaayImi
ssmybed"
Mom:"I
'
m nottry
ingtorushyouoranythi
ngbutI
washopingtospendthedayandnightwit
hyou.
Yoursi
ster
sandauntsarewaiti
ngforyou
pl
easesayyes"
Me:
"Okayt
hen"
Mom:
"Real
l
y?"Shebeamed
Me:
"YesMama"
Mom:"Goodnowl etgetyouchanged"Shet
ook
outasportbagunderthebedIgiggl
ed.
Me:"Whywer ey
ouhidi
ngit"shejustgi
ggl
ed
andhel pedmetookof
fmypj sthenshe
dressedmeupi nt
oadress."Howdi dy
ouknow
mysi ze"
Mom: "
Yoursi
sterandIwentt
othemal
landshe
choseitf
oryou"
Me:"
Wher
ear
etheyIcan'
tcomewi
thy
oui
fyou
ar
enotal
l
owi
ngthem tocomet
oo"
Mom: "ComeonIssyThembalamii
smy
grandsonandThandoismydaughterasmuch
asy ouwhywouldInotal
lowthem t
ocomewith
us"Shesaidrat
heroff
ended
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
oof
fendy
ou.
"
Mom: "I
tsokaysweetyIwi ll
callyourfatherto
bri
ngy ourwheelchai
r"Shedi sappear
edand
camebackwi t
hmydaddy ..
wowi tssoundso
forei
gntosayDADDYIev enlosthopethat
therewil
leverbeamant hatIwi l
lcal
lDaddy .
Hewaspushi ngawheel chairnotthoseor dinar
y
wheelchair
sabeaut i
fuladvanceone.I t
'slook
l
ikeamachi neImt el
l
ingy ou.
Me:"WowIdidn'tknowhospi
tal
spr
ovi
desuch
beauti
ful
wheelchair
s"
Dad:"
Thisoneisspeci
all
yfory
oul
i
ttl
eAngel
yourgrandf
athergoti
tfory
ou"
Me:
"Damni
t'
sbeaut
if
uli
t'
smusthav
ecost
f
ort
une"
Dad:"
Moneyain'
tapr
obl
em asl
ongasy
ouwi
l
l
feel
comfor
table"
Me:"Thankyoubutheshoul
dn'
thav
ebot
her
ed
I
'm notusingi
tfor
ever
"
Dad:
"I
tdoesn'
tmat
ter
..
.letgety
oui
ntoy
our
newcar"
Heremovedtheblanket
sawayfr
om meand
pi
ckedmeupt henheplacedmeonthe
wheel
chai
r.Mom packedmythi
ngsthanwe
wal
kedoutwithDadpushingme.
Mom signedmeoutt henwemadeourwayout
tot
hepar kingwherewef indThando,Lami and
mytwinbr othereat
ingicecream andstanding
bet
weenapor cheandaJaguar
Lami
:
"Icecl
eam mommy
"(cr
eam)
Me:
"Mmmhnandi
letmehav
eal
i
ck"
Lami
:
"Ha.
a"
Me:
"Whynot
?"
Lami:
"Youwi
l
lfi
nishi
tnzee"hepout
edhe
l
ookedsocut
e.Weshareal augh
Me:
"Whoboughty
oui
cecr
eam"
Lami
:
"Khul
u"
Me:
"Di
dyout
hankhi
m"
Lami:"
YooMamat oomuchquest
ionsy ouar
e
dist
urbi
ngmeIwanttoeatmyicecleam"We
l
aughed.Mom openedt
heJaguar'
sbackseat
thandadpi
ckedmeupandputmei nside.
I
na:
"Iwi
l
ldr
ivewi
tht
heset
wo"
Mom: "
Nopr obl
em t
hen"ThandoandLami
drov
ewi t
hInainthePorscheandIdr
ovewit
h
mom anddadont heJaguar."
Areyouokay
baby"Shelookedatme
Me:
"YesI
'
mfi
neMa"
Dad:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"
Me:
"YesDad"
Mom:
"Sur
esur
e?"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"YesMamast
opbei
ngper
nicket
y"
Dad:
"Yesbabyst
opf
ussi
ng"
Mom:
"I
'm not
"
Dad:
"Yesy
ouar
eisn'
tshel
i
ttl
eAngel
?"he
l
ookedatmeonther
earmir
ror
Me:"
Bothofy
ouar
eper
nicket
y"Mom bur
sti
nto
l
aughter
Dad:
"Mxm"Hepout
ed
Mom:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"Theyki
ssed
Me:
"Ohcomeonguy
sther
e'schi
l
dinher
e"
Theybr
okeaki
ssmom wi
pedal
i
pst
ickon
dad'
sli
ps
Dad:"
Achil
dthathavea3yearol
dsonand
expect
ingt
winsyeahri
ght
!"
Me:"Dad!"Theylaughed.Thedr i
vewasf i
l
led
withjokesandlaught er.Fort
hesmal lamount
oftimeIspendwi t
ht hem Isawhowmuchdo
theyloveeachot her.IwishPKwasher etosee
them cozthatistheki ndarel
ati
onshipIwant.
Wear ri
vedatthisbeaut if
ulmansion.Dzzzang
baby!That'
sallIcansay .
Myheartstar
tedbeatingfastwhati
ftheother
s
arenotwel
comingasmom, dadandIna?Dad
pi
ckedmebr i
dal st
yleIhookedmyar ms
aroundhi
sneckandbur iedmyheadonhi s
neck.Hesmelllovely
.
Dad:"Doyouknowhowtoswi
m"Hesai
dashe
walkednearthepool
Me:"Nooo!"Iscreamedhewant edtodr
opmei
n
thepool Ihel
dhimt i
ghterscr
eaming
hyst
ericall
y"Daddyplease!
!"Andhewas
l
aughingmxm t hismany az.
Mom:"
Ehyungangi
hlanyi
siMawakhel
omuzi
umt
anaminjal
oloy
o!"(Ehydon'
tmakememad
Mawakhel
omuzi
that
'smychi
l
d!)
Dad:
"Hai
sukashedoesntknowhowt
oswi
m
l
ikey
ou"
ThandoandInalaughedt henweallmadeour
wayinmestil
lindad'sarms.Weent eredthe
l
oungeheputmeont hecouch.Il
ookedupat
ever
yoneMjandgr andparentswerealsother
e.
Theystar
tedcryi
ngasweal lsatdown."Famil
y
asyouall
knowt hatIssydiedbutitt
urnoutshe
i
saliv
e"
"
Shel
ookl
ikeMama"sai
dthebeaut
if
ulwoman
whol
ookl
i
kegrandma
I
na:
"Andmet
oobo!
"Wel
aughedt
hroughour
t
ear
s.
Mom: "
Babygi
rlthi
sisLuyandaandLusanda
theyaremysi
sters"Theyl
ookedatmeand
smiled
Dad:
"Act
ual
lywear
eabigfami
lyy
ouwil
lmeet
ot
herswhenwedothecer
emonytowel
come
youandint
roduceyoutoourancest
ors.
"I
nodded"Well
thesearemyli
ttl
esist
ersSwel
i
hle
andZanokuhl
e"
AuntySwe:
"I
'm oneyearyoungert
henhi
m
sweetysot
echnical
l
ysiyali
ngana"Welaughed.
Dad:
"Nosist
erzy
ouar eyoungandthat
'
sthat
.
Whetheri
t'
soneyearbutI'
m st
il
lol
d"Il
ookedat
gr
andmawi thar
aisedbrow
Gr
andma:"
Heydon'tlookatmel i
ket
hat
mzukul
uyourgrandpascores"Thel
ounge
er
uptedwi
thlaughter
.
Dad:
"Well
theseareyourel
dertwi
nsist
ers.
Sqal
okuhl
eandSqalesihl
e"Theybot
hsmi l
e
wipi
ngeachothert
ears
Me:"Wowy oupeoplehavebeaut i
fulunique
namesMawakhel omuzi
,Sqalokuhle,Sqalesi
hle,
Nkosinamandla,Nkosi
sthandil
e.Yougot ta
namemyt wi nsayngeke"TheylaughedasI
wipedmyt ears
Me:"I'
m Khethokuhl
eMhl ongoal soknownas
Nkosisthandi
le"Ichuckled"Thisismylit
tl
e
si
sterThandokuhleandmysonThembal ami"
Theyallstoodupf r
om theirseatsandhugged
andkissedus.Itwassoemot ionalshameI
couldn'
thelpbutcrymor e.
Me: "Ican'
tbel ieveall t
histimeIhav eafami l
y"
Theywer enowseat edont heirseat s"Allt
his
ti
meIhav ebeensuf feri
ng, struggl i
ngwhi leI
hav eaf amilyt hatwoul dhav et akencar eofme.
Inev erhadi teasymom orshoul dIsayt he
womanIt houghti smymom l ef tuswhenIwas
10y ear soldandmyl it
tlesisterwas5y earsold
tofindwor ki nJozi butshenev erreturnsince
then.Shel ef tuswi thhermom andhert wo
brothers.Whent hetwobr other sf oundwor klif
e
changedgr andmast art
edmi str eati
ngusand
l
ov edt heot hergr andchildrensi ncet hei
rfather
s
couldpr ovidef orher .I
twasv eryhar dIwon'tli
e
toy ousomet i
mesIwonderhowdi dwemadei t
thi
sf ar
"
Thandosqueezedmyhandt hatwasshaki ng
andtheywer eal
lli
steni
ngat tenti
vely.May be
someonemi ghtthinkit
st oosoont ot ellt
hem
aboutmyl i
febutwhatdi ffer
encedoesi tmakeI
havetotell
them somedayandIusual lynottel
l
peopleaboutmyl i
fecozt heywi l
lpi
tymeev en
PKIdidn'tt
ellhi
m everythingandr i
ghtnowI
fel
ttheneedt or
eleaseev eryt
hinginsideofme.
"WhenImat r
iculat
edgrandmasai dshei sti
red
oftakingcareofusImustgof i
ndwor ksothatI
cant akecareofmyl it
tl
esister.Ihadnochoi ce
event houghIwant edtofut
hermyst udies.I
l
ov emusi c,actual
lyIbreat
hmusi cithas
alway sbeenmywi shtomakemusi c."Dad
smiledwi del
y."Ifoundjobfrom some
Pakistan'
sshopbuti tdidn'
tlastlonger.
OnedayIf oundoutmyuncl emolest
edmylit
tl
e
si
sterIwasbey ondshat t
eredIfel
tli
keafai
l
ure"
Iwipedmyt ear
s" Icouldn'
tlethi
m go
unpunishedsower eport
edhim andhegot
arr
ested"
Gr
andma:
"Goodhedeser
vet
oroti
njai
l
!!"
I
na:"Jaili
snothi
nggrandmahedeser
veaslow
painfuldeat
haslongasheisst
il
lal
iv
eit
'snot
toolate"
Mom:
"Whatdoest
hatsupposet
omeanI
na"
I
na:"
NothingMacarr
yonTwi
nni
e"hesai
d
wi
thoutlooki
ngatmom
Me: "
Grandmawentbal l
isti
candt hrowusout
wehadnowher etogopl usIhadnomoneyso
wewentt ouhm. uh"Iclearedmyt hroatmom
gav emea" i
t'
sokay "look" Wewentt ostaywith
myboy fr
iendi nhisshackheal sohadhi s
struggleshencehewasst ayi
ngi nasmal l
rustedshack.Hewasagr eatguyandheknew
thesituationathomeasmuchIknewhi s.One
Fri
dayhegotaj obwewer esohappyweev en
mov edt ot owninsomeapar tment .Ever
y t
hing
l
ookedpr omi si
ngwenowhadf ood, clot
hesand
goodshel teruntilthenextmor ni
ngagi r
l
pit
chedi nourdoor stepandhet oldmeshei s
theonethatfi
ndhim ajobfrom herf
athersoI
hadtopretendtobehissist
erandwat chthem
beingl
ovedov es"
Aunt
ySwe:
"Hai
bohay
iway
eny
a!!
"
Me:"Ithoughthewasdoi ngitforussoIpl ay
al
ongev enthoughIwascr umbl i
nginside.As
weekswentbyhechangedandhedi dn'twant
met owor kbutIcoul dn'tstayi nthehouse
stari
ngwal lseverydayIf oundaj obintown
fr
om somebaker y.Hefoundouthewent
ball
isti
candt hat..
.day.
..uhm. .hef or
cedhi msel
f
onme"IsobbedThandol ookedatmeshocked
cozIhav enev ersharedt hatwi thherinf act
withany one.Allt
hewomenwer ecryi
ngnowas
Inarratedmyl if
e
Dad:
"Sonofbi
tch!
!Whati
shi
sname?
"
Me:
"Mz
wakheZul
u"
Dad:
"Wher
edoeshest
ay?
'
Me:
"KZN,
Newcast
le"
Dad:
"Ohokay
"hecl
enchedhi
sjaw
Mom:"
Ihopeyouar
enotpl
anni
ngany
thi
ng
dr
ast
icDaddyKi
ng"
Dad:
"Dr
ast
ic?Nev
erHoney
"
I
na:
"I
mmadosomet
hingt
ohi
m!"
Mom:
"I
na.
..
"
I
na:"
EhheMamat hatbast
arddeser
venot
hing
butser
iouspai
ninhisl
if
e!"
Mom:
"But
..
."
Ina:
"Don'
tworr
yIwil
lteachhim howt ot
reat
andrespectwomennothingdrasti
c."
Me:"Thingsbecamewor sewhent hegirlf
ound
outthatI'
m notasisterbutagir
lfr
iendthey
boththrowusouthet ol
dthegirl
thathedoesn't
l
ovemehef el
tsorr
yformecozIhadnowher e
tostay.Thatnightwesleptonthet oi
l
etintown
wit
hempt ystomachsev enonthefoll
owingday
butwemanaget omakesomemoneyt hr
ough
myacapel l
asongs.Peopl el
ovedoursongswe
gotenoughmoneytogobacktot
heshackand
havesomenecessi
ti
es.Backt
oourr
agsbutit
wasbettert
henbei
ngabused"
Mom: "
OhbabyI '
mreall
yforeveryt
hingyouguys
wentthrough.Weareherenowandwepr omise
nothi
ngisgoingtoharmy ouaslongwear esti
ll
al
ive.Weloveyouguysandwear ehappy"she
sobbeddadpulledheri
nhi schest
Me:"WhenIf oundoutI 'm pregnantIwenttot
ell
him andhet oldmet ogetridoftherubbi
sh.I
knowIshoul dn'thav ewentt her
ebutIwas
hopingthathewi llchangehi smindoratl
east
wantt obepar tofthebaby .Iwasscaredand
young...
."Igaspedf orai
r
Thando:
"Sshh"shebr
ushedmyback
Me:"Butthroughsupportfr
om myt woguy
fr
iendsandmysi sterIsurvi
ved.Wemov edt
o
Jozili
febecamenor mal whenIfoundj
obat
Edgars.Igavebir
thtobeautiful
babyboy
Thembal ami"
Granpa:"
Youareastrongyoungladyyour emind
meofy ourgrandma.I'
m sorr
ymygr andchil
d
forevery
thi
ng.Youguysaresafenowandwe
promisetotakecar
eofy ouandgiveyouguy s
theloveyouguysdeserve"
Me:
"Thanky
ouMkhuluandI'
m sogratef
ulfor
t
heopenarmsandwarm welcomefrom t
he
f
amil
yitsmeansal
ottous."Iwipedmytears
AuntyLusanda:
"Sowher ei
sthef
atheroft
he
twi
nsy ouarecarr
ying"Icl
ear
edmyt hr
oat
Me:"
HeisinCapeTownf
orsomebusi
ness
pur
pose"
AuntyLusanda:"
Youknowaf terev
eryt
hingy ou
wentthroughitshoul
dhav ebeenaneyeopener
foryou.Howcany oufallpr
egnantagai
n!You
are24y ear
soldandalreadyyouhaveat oddler
ncncnc"Sheshookherhead.Myhear tfl
inched
painf
ulwhyisshebeingjudgmental.
Mom: "
Awkahl
eLusandapl
easeawumenj
e
kancane!
"
AuntyLusanda:
"Buti
tstr
uesheshoul
dbe
worki
ngonherf ut
urenothav
ingbabi
esl
i
keshe
i
ssickinthehead."
Thando:"
Wi thallduerespectAunt yt
hatis
uncall
edfory oucan'tjudgeaper sonwit
hout
knowinghersi t
uation.Ohandasmysi stersai
d
thatshel
ov emusi cwel lsheisdoingher3rd
yearatwitssoshei snotjustsi
tt
ingdownand
doingnothing"
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Whoaskyouropi
nionchil
dy ou
ar
enotevenoneofusI
fIwereyouI'dshutup!"
Ichuckl
edshaki
ngmyhead.
Me:
"That
'si
tcall
Tboset
ofetchusThando"She
t
ookoutherphonemom st
oppedher
Mom: "
Pleasedon'tgogirl
s.LusandaIfy ou
don'
thaveany thi
ngpositi
vetosayshutup.Thi s
i
smyhouseIwon' ttol
erateyourbull
shit
especi
all
ywheni tscomest omyki ds!
!"she
roar
edherf acebecomingv er
mili
onwi thever
y
wordshesai d.
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Iwasj
ustsay
ing"
Grandma:
"Ubucel
weubani
vel
e?"(
whoasked
you?)
AuntyLusanda:
"Shei
smyni
eceIhav
ear
ightt
o
saysomethingt
oher"
Grandma:
"Startwi
thdi
sci
pli
ningyourl
ose
daught
erf
irst"Thetwi
nslaughed
Aunt
yLusandasai
dnot
hingandl
ookeddown
Aunt
yLuyanda:
"Sot
hisguydoesheknowy
ou
ar
epregnantmychi
ld"
Me:"
NoIfoundoutday
sagoIwi
l
ltel
lhi
m when
hecomeback"
Mom:
"Howwi
l
lhet
aket
henews"
Me:"Hewi l
lbehappyhei salovingguyMama.
Hehav ebeenwithmef rom thedaymysi ster
waskidnappedtil
lnow.Hehav ebeentaking
car
eofussi nceheaskedmet ost opworking
andgost udy.Heispayingformyf eesandhe
boughtusabeaut i
fulhouse."
Sqal
o:"
Hesoundli
keani
ceguyhowl
onghav
e
youbeent
ogether
"
Me:
"2y
ear
sandmont
hs"
Granpa:
"That
'sal
ongt imeheloveyoubutt
hat
doesn'
tmeanIdon' twanttomeethi
m.Hehave
totel
luswhatishisint
enti
onespeci
all
ynow
thathegotyoupregnant."
Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Me:
"EhIwi
l
ltel
lhi
m whenhecomeback"
I
na:
"Ican'
tbel
i
eveyouar
eali
vewel
comehome
Twi
nnie"Heki
ssedmycheek
Me:
"Thanky
ouTwi
nni
e"
Mj
:"
Mom, DadIwantmyt wi
ntoongekephel
a"
Weshr
iekedwi
thlaught
er
Dad:
"Her
e'sy
ourt
win"Shepoi
ntedatThando
Mj
:
"Hel
l
oTwi
nni
e"Thandot
urnedr
ed
Thando:
"HeyTwi
nni
e"
Lami
:
"Ki
tKatwhati
sTwi
nni
e"Theyal
ll
aughed
makingmysonshyandbur
iedhi
sheadonI
na'
s
neck
Me:
"I
tsy
oursi
sterorbr
otherboy
"
Lami
:
"ButIdon'
thav
emyTwi
nnj
eKi
tKat
"
Mom:
"Theyar
ebaki
ngi
ntheov
ensweet
y"
Me:"
Ma!
"Theyal
ll
aughed"
Iwi
l
lbuyhi
mfory
ou
okay
"
Lami
:
"OkayKi
tKat
"
Aunt
ySwe:"
Hei
ssoadorabl
ehemakeme
wannahav
eachi
ldnow"Weall
laughed
Gr
andma:
"Hai
bosi
showol
dar
eyou"
AuntySwe:
"ButIdon'tl
ook53Mamawho
knowsmay bethi
stimeIwil
lhav
eagi
rl
"
Laught
erfi
l
ledthelounge.
Sqal
o:"
Youl
ook30wenaNcane"
Aunt
ySwe:
"Tel
lthem wenababy
"
Thehelperser
vedall
ofusfoodwewashedour
handsandateoveraconv
ersat
ionf
il
ledwi
th
l
aughter.I
twaslovel
ymanthi
sisactual
lymy
fi
rstt
imehav i
ngtospendt
imewithpeople.
Theyaresuchlovel
ypeopl
ebutIdon'
tli
ke
AuntyLusandashewasbusywithsnidejokes
butIchosetoignor
ethem.
Icoul
dThandoi snotcompl etelyhappysoI
madeament alnotethatIwi l
ltalktoher.This
doesn'tchangeanythingshewi llalwaysbemy
l
itt
lesisterbl
oodornobl ood.Whenwef ini
shed
ThandoandSi hleofferedtohelpt hehelperand
washedt hedisheswhi l
eweal lwat chtvwith
mepr essedagainstdad'schestashewas
si
tti
ngbehi ndmehi slegont hef l
oortheother
onethecouch.Myl egswer er estedonmom' s
l
apsgi vi
ngmyf eetal i
ttl
emassage.
ImustsayIf eltloveevenifitwasfort
hesmal l
amountoft ime.Iknewf rom themomentt here
thatIwill
receivelovethatIhavebeenyearning
foreversince.Headmassageal waysmakeme
fal
lasleepDad'sf i
ngerti
pswer esl
owlydri
fti
ng
met oLalalandunt il
IwaswokenupbyThando
sayi
ngsomeonewantt otal
kt omeonher
phone.Dadputmeonmywheel chai
rthenI
wheeledmysel
ftopr
ivatearea.
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
"
Kit
Kat
"If
eltbut
ter
fl
iesdanci
ngi
nmyst
omach
Me:
"PKwheret
hehel
lar
eyouIhav
ebeent
ryi
ng
t
ocall
you!
!"
PK:"
I'
m sor
rymyloveIlostmyphonethi
ngs
havebeenhect
icbutnowi t
'
sokayI'
m sor
ry
okay"
Me:"Iwasworr
iedsi
ckaboutyouchocolat
e
cakeIhavebeencry
ingeversi
nceyouleft
"
PK:
"I
'm sor
rymybabypl
easef
orgi
veme"
Me:
"Whenar
eyoucomi
ngbackImi
ssy
ouso
much"
PK:
"ButbabyIj
ustgother
e"
Me:"Sowhatshoul
dIdowhenImi
ssy
ouhuh!
!"
Icr
ied
PK:
"Don'
tcrybabyIwi
llt
ryt
owrapthi
ngsup
maybenextweekIwil
lcomeback"
Me:"
Okaymyl
oveIhav
edoubl
egoodnewsf
or
you"
PK:
"Whatnews"
Me:
"Iwi
l
ltel
lyouwheny
oucomehome"
PK:
"Comeonbaby"
Me:
"Ha.
acomehomeIwi
l
ltel
lyou"
PK:
"Okaybabyar
eyouguy
sfi
ne"
Me:
"Wel
lyeah"
PK:"
Ihavet
ogonowwhathappenedt
oyour
phoneIwantt
ocal
lyouatni
ght
"
Me:
"I
t'
sal
ongst
orybabydon'
tcal
lme"
PK:
"Seemsl
i
keal
othappenedt
her
e"
Me:"
Youmustsayt
hatbutwewi
l
ltal
kwheny
ou
ar
ehere"
PK:
"Okaysweet
hear
tIl
ovey
ousomuch"
Me:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"
PK:
"Mncwancwa"Igi
ggl
ed"
Dream ofusokay
"
Me:
"Doi
ngwhat
?"
PK:
"Pl
ayi
ngi
nthepar
kwi
thourdozenof
chi
l
dren"
Me:"
Thatsabeaut
if
uldr
eam Iwi
l
ldobaby
"I
sai
dbrushi
ngmytummy
PK:
"Lov
eyou"
Me:"
Loveyoutoo"WehungupIstar
edatthe
scr
eenasifI
'mlooki
ngathi
m wit
hasmileon
myface.GodI
'm sol
ovi
nghim.
"
Thati
sbabydaddy
"Sqal
osnappedmeout
Me:
"Yeah"
Sqal
o:"
Icoul
dtel
lyoul
ovehi
m"
Me:
"Hei
stheoxy
gent
hatIbr
eat
h"
Sqal
o:"
Ncoot
hati
ssosweet
..
Howf
arar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm 3mont
hsand2weekspr
egnant
"
Sqal
o:"
Wowmet
oohey
"
Me:"
Ourboy
fri
endsgotsamet
imi
nghey
"We
l
aughed
Sqal
o:"
Wel
lexceptt
haty
our
sscor
edoubl
e"
Me:
"Ohy
eahbaby
"Iwi
nkedmaki
nghert
olaugh
Sqalo:"I
'm sor
rysiswamiforeveryt
hingyou
wentt hrough.NoonedeservethatandImust
sayy ouar eabravewoman.Iwillneverbehal
f
asbrav easy ouare.I
'
m sureIwouldhav edi
ed
ri
ghtt hereandthen"Tear
sroll
eddownonher
yel
lowf ace.
Me:
"I
m gl
ady
ouguy
sfi
ndme.
"
Sqal
o:"
Ilov
eyousi
s"
Me:"Il
ovey outoosis"Shekneeledbeforeme
andweshar edalongwarm hugwhi chwas
di
sturbedbyMamascr eamingmyname
"I
sthandi
le!Ist
handil
e!Nkosi
sthandi
le!!"
Sqal
o:"
Geemom sheishereshedi
dn'
trunaway
andshewon'
ttel
lhersi
sthatwear
estuckwit
h
y
ou"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:"I
'
m notgoingany wher
emom"Shesmi l
ed
thr
oughherglassyeyesandpushedmet ot
he
l
ounge.Lat
erIr ememberedthatTbosemustbe
worri
edaboutussoIi nf
ormedhimt hatweare
okay.
Weat
edi
nnert
henwat
chsomeTV.
Ina:
"Fami
lyMjhav
esomet
hingt
osay"Mj
coughedhar
d
Dad:
"Whati
sitboy
"
Mj:
"Uhm Ihav
edeci
dedwhatIwantIwantt
obe
api
lot"
Dad:
"Atl
asty
oucamei
ntosenses"
Mom:"
Thatiswonderfulboy
"Wecarri
edonwi
th
TVbutatthecor
nerofmyey eIcoul
dseeI
na
andMjexchangi
nglooks.
Wheni
tswast i
met osl
eepSihl
eandInasaid
t
hei
rgoodbyestheywerenotgoi
ngtosleepin
t
hehouse.Si
hlehasahusbandandsont hati
s
waiti
ngforherwhi l
eInahaveasont hati
s
waiti
ngforhim sincethemom isst
ill
unconsciousinthehospit
alsi
nce4day sback
I
tssosadwhenhet al
kaboutithecryandthat
brokemyhear t.Anywaywealsosaidour
goodnightstoeachotherandseparated.
Sqaloofferedtosleepwi thLami andhedi dn'
t
haveapr oblem whichwasst rangemyson
doesn'twarm upt ost r
angersbutheseemedt o
getalongwi theveryone.Dadpi ckedmeupand
wentwi t
hmet othisbigbeautifulbedroom.It
mademewonderi ft hi
sisgoingt obemy
bedroom thenhowi st hemast erbedroom.He
putmeont hebedt henmom st artedundr
ess
me
Me:
"YoudoknowIcandot
hat
"
Mom:"Shutupwena!"Igi
ggl
edandl
etherdoas
shepl
eased.Shedressedmeupint
omyPJas
Dadpull
edthecoversawayformet
ogetin.
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Dadpi
ckedmeupandgent
ly
l
aidmei nt hemi ddl
eoft hebedt henhecov er
ed
mewi thblankets.Theybot hdisappear
edand
camebackwear ingpjs.Ilookedatthem in
shock"Whosebedr oom isthiskanti
"Theyboth
smiledandcr awlednextt omeput ti
ngmei n
between."Noway sguysy ouarenotsleeping
wit
hmeI '
m notgoi ngtor unawayandnobody
wil
ltakemeaway "
Mom:"Wedon'
twantt
otakechancesr
ight
DaddyKi
ng"
Dad:
"YesMommyQueen.
..
sleepl
i
ttl
eAngel
"
Me:"
Whatwill
youdoify ouguyswantt
o..
.
uhm..
youknow"Theycackledl
i
keschool
skids
Dad:"
Youseethisbedisver
ybigwewi l
lshi
ft
youasideandgetonwithbusi
ness"Hebrought
hisbott
om l
ipbetweenhist
eethl
ookingat
mommywhosmi r
kedandli
ckedherli
ps
Me:"
Noy ouguy sareunbeli
evabl
e!"Igr
oaned
andtheylaughed."
I'
m goingtosl
eepwi t
h
Thando.
"Itri
edt ogetuptheybothpull
edme
down.
Mom: "SleepmyAngel"Shewrappedherar
m
around.me.Il ookedatt
hem bot
htheywere
real
lysleepingwit
hmeguy s.
Me:
"Pl
easedon'tf
artfol
ksworseI
'
mint
he
mi
ddleohLord."Theylaughed
Dad:
"Tel
lyourmom aboutt
hatdepar
tment
"
Il
ookedatMama
Mom:
"Ican'
tpr
omi
sey
out
hatsweet
hear
t"
Me:
"EeewwwMamanoI
'
m mov
ingher
e!"
Theybur
sti
ntol
aught
er
Mom:"Doy
outhi
nkabeaut
if
ul womanli
keme
f
artnowayst
hat
'si
mpossi
ble"Welaughed
Me:
"Maont
heser
iousnot
e"Dadl
aughed
Mom: "
Iwon'
tsweet
hear
t"Theybot
hkissedmy
cheeksatt
hesametime"Weloveyoubabygi
rl
"
Dad:
"Wel
ovey
oul
i
ttl
eAngel
"Theysai
datonce
Ncooooman
Me:"
Ilovey outoofol
ks"Theyswit
chedoffthe
l
ight
st henwesl ept
.Fewmi nut
eslat
erIheard
t
hem whi speri
ng
Dad:
"MommyQueen"
Mom:
"YesDaddyKi
ng"
Dad:
"Iwanty
ou"
Mom:
"Doy
out
hinkshei
sasl
eep?
"
Dad:
"YesIt
hinkso"
Mom:
"Let
'sshi
ftherasi
de"
Me:"
Jesusguy s!!"Igr
oanedandtheyburstint
o
l
aughter.Iwassosl eepymarathesetwower e
busyplayi
ngar oundandlaughi
ng.Ift
hisiswhat
Il
ostfor23y earsofmyl i
feIwouldnevertr
ade
i
tfortheworldasmuchasIwant edtosleepso
bad.
[
06/
01,
08:
12]W:
48
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
For23year
sofmyl i
femybir
thdayswerenot
somethi
ngIwaslooki
ngfor
war dt
ocozthey
al
waysremindedmeofmyt winsi
ster
.
I'
dwonderhowl i
fewouldhav ebeenhadshe
surviv
elit
tl
edidIknowt hatshei soutther
e
ali
veandst r
uggli
ng.WhenMj andIsawherf or
thefir
stti
mei nthehospitalIcouldn'
tbeli
eveit
butsomet hi
nginmehappenedt hatIcan't
explai
nandIknewf rom thatmomentt hatshe
havet obemyt winsi
ster.
Sowet oldthefolksstr
aightawaybutt hey
coul
dn'tbeli
eveituntil
Iaskedt hedoct ortodo
theDNAt est.Ineededproofsomet hingt hatwil
l
makemeunder standhowi sitpossiblethatone
canlookli
kemeandmygr andmaandt her esul
t
confi
rmedt hatthegirl
Mj shotandt ookhercar
i
smyt winsister,oursi
ster.
Deepshi
tItel
lyoubutIguessal
loft
hiswas
par
tofGod'
splanforustomeetmytwinsi
ster
whom wet houghtdied.YouknowInev erknew
herbutshewasal way si
nmyhear t.Icar
ri
ed
heri
nmyhear tever
ywhereIgo.Iev enhavea
pi
ll
owt hati
swr it
tenINA&I SSYthathowI
al
way sremember edhereventhoughInev er
mether.
Iwasshockedbuthappywhent heresultcame
backandconf i
rmedt hatshei smyt wi nsist
er.
Wehav en'tt
oldev ery
onet hatMj i
st heonet hat
shotherItri
edt ogivehi m strengthtodoi tbut
theboyjusttoldthefami lythathewantt obea
pil
otreal
ly?Youmustbewonder i
nghowdi dwe
handl
edO2wel lwecal ledgr eatgrandfather
Zakhelemygr andma' sfathert odeal wit
hhim
andhedi dshamet heonlyt hingthatislefti
s
forMj t
oconfesst oIssyandt hef amily.
Speakingofgreatgr
andfat
herIhavetocall
him
tosortpeopl
ef ormenothi
ngdrasti
cjustf
ew
punchesain'
tnobast ar
dthatwil
ltr
eatmy
sist
ersli
ketheyareanimal
sandjustgetonwith
l
ifeli
kenothi
nghappenedhellno!I
'dbetaki
ng
car
eofi
tmysel
fbutIcan'
tgot
oKZNnowmy
wif
eandki
dsneedme.
Thenextmorni
ngIwaswokenupbysoftsobs
andsnuff
li
ngIopenedmyeyesSbongawas
cry
ingnextt
ome.
Me:"
Heyboy
"It
ookhi
m andpl
acedhi
m ont
op
ofme
"
Whatiswrongmyman"Hecr
iedl
ouder"
Tel
l
Daddywhati
swrong"
Sbonga:
"Iwantmommydaddy
"Myhear
tbr
oke
Me:"Mommywi l
lcomebackver
ysoondon'
tcry
sweetheartokay
"HenoddedIstr
okehi
sback
unti
lhissobsquiet
endownandhisbr
eathi
ng
rel
axed.
Hemusthav ewokeupv eryear
ly.Igent
lylai
d
hi
m nexttomeandcov eredhim wit
hcov ers
bef
orekissi
nghi
sforeheadthenslidoutofbed.
Iwentt
othebat
hroom wher
eIt
ookal
ong
shower
.
Iwaspr ayingwit
hinmyselfthatwhenIget
thereshewi l
lbeawake.Itsbeent ool ongnow
shehav etowakeupweneedandmi ssher.
Af t
erhygienepr
ocessIlotionedandgot
dressedintocasualcl
othes.Isprayedmy
fragranceandtookmysi ster'
scarkey sandmy
phonet henmademywaydownst airs.
Thedi vi
nearomafil
ledmynost ril
sasIent
ered
thekit
chenmyst omachgr owled.Iwas
welcomedbyLiz'
sbut tcheekspeepingonher
ski
mpyshor tasshewaspi ckingupthespoon
onthefloor
.Iswall
owedspi tandclear
edmy
thr
oat.
Li
z:"
OhheyI
na"shesai
daf
terpi
cki
ngupt
he
spoon
Me:
"Mor
ningLi
z"
Li
z:
"Br
eakf
asti
sready
"
Me:
"ThanksbutI
'
m nothungr
y"Ofcour
set
hat
wastot
all
yali
e.
Li
z:
"Ohokay
"shesoundedsodi
sappoi
nted
Me:"Sbongaissl
eepi
ngIwanttotakehi
m out
j
usttocheerhim uphewascryi
ngforhi
smom
earl
i
ercanIpleasefi
ndhimreadywhenIcome
backfrom t
hehospit
al"
Li
z:
"Okaynopr
obl
em"
Me:"ThankyouI'
m offt
othehospitalnow"she
noddedthenIwalkedout.Uponarri
valIwent
str
aighttoKonke.Shewasstil
lthesame.I
ki
ssedherf or
eheadandsatdown.
"Goodmor ningbaby"It
ookherhandand
kissedit"PleasewakeupnowI tsbeendaysI'm
l
osi ngmymi ndherewi t
houtyouplease
sweet heartwakeupdoi tf
orSbongahemi ss
yousomuch.Comebackt ousweneedy ou.
I'
m beggi ngy ouMaZwaneIpr omisetobea
betterboy f
riendthenIwas, Ipr
omisetomake
youhappyasl ongasIbreathandtoloveyou
foreverpleasewakeup"Iwi pedmyt earsthatI
wasn' tawar etheywerefal
li
ng.
Myst omachwasmaki ngfunnynoise
demandi ngf ood.Igotupandkissedherli
ps
thenmademywayout .Idr
ovetowi mpyand
hadbr eakfastthencamebackt oav ery
dist
urbingsightanur sewassuffocati
ngKonke
withapi l
low.
Me:"
Whatthefuckisgoi
ngonher e!
!!
"she
j
umpedupi nshockandlookedatme" Whot
he
hel
larey
ou"
Nurse:
"I
..
I.
.was.
."Igrabbedherhandasshetr
y
tor
unoutshespr ayedmyey eswit
hapepper
spr
ayIscreamedi nagonywipi
ngmyey es.
"Whati
sgoingon"saidsomeoneIopenedmy
oneeyethatwasburni
ngwithfi
re.I
twas
Konke'
sdoctor
Me:"
Whatt hefuckdoct orsomeonetr
iedt
okill
mywife.Idon'tknowi fitwasoneoft
henurses
ort
hatwasj ustadi sguisecozshewas
weari
nglikeanur se"
Doc:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"
Me:"
OfcourseI'
m sur
ewhatki
ndofaquest
ion
i
sthatshespray
edpepperspr
ayedi
nmyeyes"
Doc:
"I
'mreal
lysor
ryMrSi
thol
ewewill
dealwi
th
t
hemat t
erasapandfi
ndoutwhodi
dthis"
Me:"
Youbett
ercozi
fsomethi
ngbadhappento
mywifeIswearIwi
l
ltur
nthi
shospi
tal
upside
down!"
Doc:"
Calm downandgowashy oureyesinthe
bathr
oom"Iwenttothebathr
oom andwashed
myey es.Theywer
eburni
ngandbl oodred.I
tookmyphoneandcalledmyfathertocomet o
thehospit
al.
Icouldn'
tj
ustsi
tanddonothingsomeonewant
mywi fedeadandIm goi
ngtofi
ndoutwhois
he/she
Dadwalkedi
nasIwaswai
ti
ngf
orhi
mint
he
wai
ti
ng.room.
Dad:"
Son"Ist
oodupandwebumpedf
istbef
ore
huggi
ngeachother
.
Me:
"HeyDadt
hanksf
orcomi
ng"
Dad:
"What
'sup"Wesatdownont
hebench.
Me:"
Someonetr
iedtokil
lKonkeIneedt
wo
guar
dspl
ease"Helookedatme
Dad:
"Your
eal
l
ylov
ethi
sgi
rl
"
Me:
"Noty
out
ooDadpl
ease"
Dad:"
NosonIj ustwantt
omakesur ethatyou
arenotmakingami st
ake.Thel
astIwantisa
womant hati
scontrol
li
ngyouandtreati
ngy ou
l
ikeachil
dbecauseshei sol
dert
heny ou"
Me:"Konkeisnotli
kethatDad.Sherespectme
ashermanj ustl
ikethewayMamar espectyou.
Ineverfeel
youngerthenherwhenI '
m wit
hher .
ShemakemehappyandIl ov
ehersomuchj ust
l
ikethewayy ouloveMama.Iseef utur
ewi t
h
herandIcan'ti
maginelif
ewithouther"
Dad:"
Iwon'tblamethegi
rlshameshecouldn'
t
resi
sttheSit
holechar
ms"Wel aughed"
Ifshei
s
t
heoney ouhavemysupportmyson"
Me:"
Thankyousomuchdadi tmeansalott
o
metohaveyoursupport"Wesharedawarm
hug"Andshei
suhm. .
.sheispregnant
"
Dad:
"That
'smyson!!
!"Hepatmyshoulder
maki
ngmet olaugh"Congr
atul
ati
onsboy"
Me:"ThankyouDadbutpleasedon'
tcal
lme
boy"HelaughedheknowhowIhat eitt
obe
cal
l
edBOY.I 'm notaboyI
'm aMAN
Dad:"Sor
rynkunzi
..
.l
etmecallSpi
roandDi gga"
Het ookouthi
sphoneandmadeacal lthen
hungup."TheyarecomingIpromiseyouson
nothingi
sgoingtohappentothemotherofmy
grandchi
ldunderSpir
oandDigga'
swat ch"
Me:
"Thanky
ousomuch"
Dad:"
Anyt
imeson,anyti
meletmegonowI
wanttospendthewholedaywit
hyourt
win
si
ster
.Justthetwoofus"
Me:"
Goodluckwit
hthatIdon'
tthi
nkmom will
agr
ee.Shedoesn'
twantIssyt
oleavehersi
ght
"
Dad:
"Shewat
chedhersl
eepi
ngt
hewhol
eni
ght
"
Me:
"Youl
i
e"
Dad:
"I
'mtel
l
ingyouwesleptwit
hherandf
eltso
goodman"Ibur
stint
olaught
er
Me:"
Shamemypoortwi
nsister.Youguy
sar
e
ov
erdoingi
tshei
snotatoddler"
Dad:
"Heyokusal
ayoshei
sachi
l
d"Il
aughed
Me:
"Whatareyougoi
ngt
odoaboutt
hewoman
t
hatst
oleher"
Dad:"
I'
m workingonfi
ndinghershehavetopay.
Thatwomanmadeusbel ievemydaughteri
s
deadwhilesheisali
vemor eov
ershelef
therto
suff
er"heclenchedhi
sjaw
Me:"
Don'tf
orgett
hatsheisalsoThando's
motherandIdon'
tthi
nkIssywill
likeany
thi
ng
badtohappentohersist
er'
smot her"
Dad:"
Thattr
ickybutIwantthatwomantopay!
Welost23y earsIna23fucki
ngyearsofour
daughter
'sl
i
fe!Yourmom wasshat t
eredsoni
t
brokemyheartt
hatIcoul
dn'tt
akethepai
nshe
wasf eel
i
ng.I
twas..
."Hepausedandswal
lowed
spit"
Shehavetopay"
Me:
"I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ryDadI
tmusthav
ebeenhar
d"
Dad:
" ThankyouIetmegetgoi
ng"Webumped
fi
stthenheleft.Spi
roandDi
ggaar
ri
vedI
showedt hem Konke.
Me:"
Ifany
thi
nghappent
oherguy
syouwi
l
lnot
hav
edadt oanswert
obutme"
Dni
gga:
"Not
hingwi
l
lhappeny
oungbosswe
pr
omise"
Me:
"Go.
..
"Myphonedi sturbedmeIt
ooki
tout
f
rom myjean'
spocket"Liz"
Li
z:
"Youneedt
ocomebackt her
eisawoman
her
ewhowanttotakeSbonga"
Me:
"Whatwoman?
"
Li
z:
"Idon'
tknowpl
easecome"
Me:
"I
'm comi
ng"Ihungup"
Sur
emaj
i
ta"
Them:
"Youngboss"Iwal
kedoutandspedof
f.I
knewi
tsthatgr
annynx.
Me:
"Gr
eet
ingsMa"
Sbonga'
sgogo:
"Hey
"
Me:
"HowcanIhel
pyou"
Sbonga'sgogo:
"IcameasfastasIcouldwhenI
sawi nTVthatKonkei
sinICU.I'
mtakingmy
grandsonwithmeunti
lKonkegetbett
er"
Me:"
Noy oucan'
tdot
hatI'
mtaki
ngcar
eof
Sbongaasyoucansee"
Sbonga'
sgogo:
"Whothehel
larey
ou?Andwhat
doyouknowabouttaki
ngcar
eofachi
ld"
Me:"Youdon'
tgett
ocomehereandi nsul
tme
woman.Sbongaiswel
l t
akencar
eofwhatwi th
you.Whydoy oual
wayswanttocausetroubl
e"
Sbonga'
sgogo:
"Wai
tarey
ounotKonke'
sBen
10from t
heSAFTASawar
dsevent
"
Me:
"Whoam Idoesn'
tconcer
nyoul
eav
enow!
"
Sbonga'sgogo:"
I'
m notleavi
ngwi
thoutmy
grandson!
!"Jesusngiy
av i
vi
nywa!
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
AsIwassl
eepi
ngIcoul
dfeel
someone'
sgaze
onmeIopenedmyeyesandsawmymom
st
ari
ngatme.
Shesmi
l
edsweet
ly
Mom:
"Mor
ningbabygi
rl
"
Me:"
MorningMa"Sheki
ssedmylips"Eww
mom Ihaven'
twashedmymouth"Andthat
madehertokissmeagai
nIgroanedandhidmy
headwit
hcovers.
Shegi
ggl
ed
Mom:"Doyouwanttost
artwit
hbreakf
astor
youwanttot
akeabathfi
rst
"Iremovedthe
cover
sfr
om thehead
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbat
hfi
rst
"
Mom:"Let
'sgety
oubat
hedt
henIr
anabat
hfor
you"
Isatupst raightshehel pedmeundr essed
beforehelpingmet ositonthewheel chair
.She
pushedmet ot hebathroom whereshebat hed
me.Af terhygieneprocessshel ot
ionedand
dressedmeupi nt
oanot hernewdr ess."Iwil
l
callyourgrandfathertocarryyou"
Me:
"Wher
e'sDad?
"
Mom:"Hewenttoseeyourt
winbr
other
"she
wentoutandcamebackwit
hKhulu.
Mkhul
u:"
Howar
eyouMaj
obe"
Me:
"I
'mf
ineKhul
uhowar
eyou"
Mkhul
u:"
I'
m al
sof
inemygr
andchi
l
d"
Me:"
Areyousur
ey ouwon'
tbreaky
ourbackI
cantr
ytowalkyouknow"Theybot
hlaughed
Mkhul
u:"
Yewenanganewhatar
etr
yingt
osay
t
omeI
'
m notol
dmi
na"Il
aughed
Me:
"Howol
dar
eyouKhul
u"
Mkhul
u:"
80y
ear
s"
Me:"
Haaay
oul
ooky
oungt
hough"Igabedat
hi
m
Mkhul
u:"
YouseeIt
oldy
ou"
Me:
"What
'sy
oursecr
et?
"Theybot
hlaughed
Hecl
ear
edhi
sthr
oatandsmi
rked
Mkhul
u:"
Yourgr
andma'
snut
ri
ent
s"
Me:
"GeeeMkhul
utoomuchi
nfo"
Theyl
aughed
Mkhul
u:"
YouaskedmosandIr
esponded"
Me:
"NowIr
egr
etaski
ng"Theyl
aughed.
Hepickedmeupt henweallwentdownstai
rs.
Heplacedmeont hecouchnexttoSqal
owho
wasfeedingLamiutr
amelthenhewenttosit
nextt
ohiswife."
Goodmor ni
ngevery
one"
Them:"
Morning"Wewereall
gat
her
edi
nthe
si
tti
ngroom watchi
ngTV.
Me:
"Howar
eyouguy
s"
Them:
"Wear
efi
nesi
s"
Me:
"Wher
e'sThando"
AuntySwe:
"Hewentwi
thMj
tobuyf
ewt
hings
forme"
Lami
:
"Habay
ouKi
tKat
"
Me:
"I
'mf
ineboyhabay
ou"
Lami
:"I
'
mf i
ne.
.ki
sski
ss"Iinchedcl
oserheheld
myfaceandki
ssedmylips"Ilov
eyouKitKat
"
Me:
"Lov
eyout
ooLami
"
Sqal
o:"
Ncoothisi
ssosweet"Mom camewi t
h
myEnglishbr
eakf
astandaglassofj
uice.
Me:
"Am It
heonl
yonewhoi
seat
ing"
Mom:
"Yesweat
eagesago"
Me:
"Whatt
imei
sitkant
i"Shet
wit
chedherwr
ist
andl
ookedatherwat
chwr
ist
Mom:
"Fi
vet
o11"shesatdownnextme.
Me:
"Haaa"Ist
art
edeat
ing
AuntyLusanda:
"Yousleptthatlongt
hatbaby
daddyofyourswon'tmarryy ou"
Grandma:
"Ohsothatar
easonwhyy
oudon'
t
haveahusband"
Thel
oungeer
upt
edwi
thl
aught
er
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Inev
erwant
edahusbandmi
na"
Aunt
yZano:
"That
'sal
i
e,t
hat
'sal
i
e"
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Mxm"Webur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
Aunt
yLuyanda:
"SoI
ssyyouhav
enev
erhear
d
wher
eyourmom couldbe"
Mom:
"I
'm hermom bo"
Sqal
o:"
Ofcour
seMa"Wel
aughed
Me:
"Notr
eal
l
y"
Aunt
yLuy
anda:
"Shehav
etobef
oundbowe
needanswer
s.Weneedt
oknowwhyshest
ole
you"
Aunt
yZano:
"May
beshei
sdead"
Me:
"Thesangomasai
dshei
sal
i
vebutshei
s
l
ost
"
Mkhul
u:"
Whatdoest
hatsupposet
omean
Makot
i"
Mom:"Idon'tknowDadIneedtof
astandbeg
Godtogetherwithmyancest
orst
oshowme
wher
ei sshe"
Me:
"NoMamadon'
tdot
hat
"
Mom:"
Whynotsweet
yshehavetobepuni
shed
f
ort
hepai
nsheputme, ust
hrough"
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
olosey
ouIj
ustf
oundy
ou
Mama"
Mom:
"Youar
enotmaki
ngsenseI
ssy
"
Me:"
Icoul
dbewrongbutaftert
hesangoma
sai
dshewill
begherancest
orstoshowher
Mama'
swher
eabout
sshedi
ed.
"
Mom:
"Howdi
dshedi
e?Wassheki
l
led?
"
Me:
"Nowef
indherdeadt
henextmor
ning"
Mom:"
Thi
sisi
nter
est
inggi
vi
ngmemor
ereason
t
ofi
ndout"
Me:"Mamapl easeIdon'
twantyoutodi
e.Leti
t
goIthinksheisdeadnowmay besheisaghost
thatki
l
l peopl
ethatwhythesangomadied"
Tearsfallonmyface
Mom:"Don'
tcrybabyIwon'
tdi
emay
bei
twas
conci
edence"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nksoMama"
"AwIjustwentoutforanhourIcomebackand
fi
ndmydaught ercry
ing.Whatdidy oudoto
her?
"SaidDadashewal kedin.Mom tol
dhim
whatwewer etal
kingabout.Het ookmyplat
e
andplacedi
tont heglasstablet
henhe
embracedme
Dad:
"Hushsweet
hear
tnot
hingwi
l
lhappent
o
y
ourmom shei
sapower
ful
prophet
"
Me:"Pr
ee'
smom wasapowerfulsangomatoo"I
sobbed.Hest
rokemybackunti
lIwascal
m.
Dad:
"Sheneedtobefoundthoughonewayor
t
heother"Hekissedmyfor
eheadandstoodup
t
henhepi ckedmeup.
Mom:"
Umsaphi
manj
e"(
wher
ear
eyout
aki
ng
her
)
Dad:
"Outt
ocheerherup"
Mom:
"I
'm comi
ngt
oo"
Dad:"
Na.aMommyQueeni t
sDaddyand
Daughter
'sti
me"Mom pout
edever
yone
shr
iekedwit
hlaught
er
"
Yoursi
scomingokaydon'
that
eme"He
wi
nkedather
Mom:
"Mxm"
Dad:
"Lami
"
Lami
:
"Khul
u"
Dad:
"Don'
tyouwantt
ocomewi
thKhul
uand
Mommy "
Lami:
"Ha.
a"Heshookhisheadbeforenest
li
ng
i
tagai
nstSqal
o'
schest.EhMadodanakhu
uSqal
oezongnt
shont
shelaingane.
Mom:
"Bebacksoonpl
ease"
Dad:"YesHoney"Hewal kedoutwit
hmeand
placedmeont hefrontseatthenhebuckledthe
seatbelt
.Hewenti nsi
det of
etchmywheel chai
r
thenwedr ov
eof f
."Soyousaymusi ci
sy ou"
Me:
"Yeah"
Dad:
"Youar
eyourf
ather
'sdaught
er"
Me:
"Youl
ovemusi
ctoo"
Dad:
"YesandI
'
m asi
ngerwel
lIuset
osi
ng"
Me:
"Youl
i
e"
Dad:
"I
'mt
ell
i
ngy
ousweet
hear
t"
Me:"
Wowthat
'swonder
ful
whydi
dyoust
op
si
ngi
ng"
Dad:
"I
'mt
oool
dnow"
Me:
"ButI
'
m sur
eyourv
oicei
sst
il
lyoung"
Dad:
"I
t'
sti
met
olett
hey
out
htakeov
ermychi
l
d
"
Me:
"Iheary
out
hen.
.wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme
t
o"
Dad:"Weareherealr
eady"Hepulledoffand
steppedoutthenhehelpedmesi tonmy
wheelchai
rbeforepushi
ngmei nsideofthi
s
buil
dingwri
tt
enMZRecor di
ngLabel.
Heintr
oducedmet oeveryoneIcoul
dn'
thelp
butnoti
cether
especttheygavehimItsl
ikehe
i
sabossorsomet hing."Welcometo
MawakhelomuziZesuli
weRecordLabell
itt
le
Angel"
Me:
"Noway
sthi
sisy
our
sandmommy
?"
Dad:
"Yeah"Weent
eredast
udi
o.
Me:
"Wowt
hisi
sbeaut
if
uldaddyl
i
kef
orr
eal
"
Dad:
"Youknowhowt
opl
aykey
boar
d?"
Me:
"Yeah"
Dad:
"Pi
ano?
"
Me:
"Al
i
ttl
ebi
t"
Dad:"
Letseehowf arist
hatl
it
tl
ebit
"Istar
ted
pl
ayingbutstopped"Don'
tbeshyyouar
edoing
good"Ist
artedagainandsangal
ong
Me:
"Youar
eher
e
Mov
ingi
nourmi
dst
Iwor
shi
pyou
Iwor
shi
pyou"
Dad:
"Youar
eher
e
Wor
kingi
nthi
spl
ace
Iwor
shi
pyou
Iwor
shi
pyou"
Dad&I
:"
Waymaker
Mi
racl
ewor
ker
Pr
omi
sekeeper
Li
ghti
nthedar
kness
MyGod
Thati
swhoy
ouar
e
Waymaker
Mi
racl
ewor
ker
Pr
omi
sekeeper
Li
ghti
nthedar
kness
MyGod
Thati
swhoy
ouar
e"
Me:
"Youar
eher
e
Touchi
ngev
eryhear
t
Iwor
shi
pyou
Iwor
shi
pyou
Youar
eher
e
Heal
i
ngev
eryhear
t
Iwor
shi
pyou
Iwor
shi
pyou"
Dad:
"Youar
eher
e
Tur
ningl
i
vesar
ound
Iwor
shi
pyou
Iwor
shi
pyou"
Me:
"Youar
eher
e
Mendi
ngev
eryhear
t
Iwor
shi
pyou
Iwor
shi
pyou"
Dad&I
:"
Waymaker
Mi
racl
ewor
ker
Pr
omi
sekeeper
Li
ghti
nthedar
kness
MyGod
Thati
swhoy
ouar
e
Waymaker
Mi
racl
ewor
ker
Pr
omi
sekeeper
Li
ghti
nthedar
kness
MyGod
Thati
swhoy
ouar
e
Youwi
peawayal
ltear
s
Youmendt
hebr
okenhear
t
You’
ret
heanswert
oital
l
Jesus"
Wesangtogetherunti
ltheendofthesongit
wassobeauti
fulthatIf
eltl
ikecr
ying.Her
eall
y
gotav
oicehey.
Dad:"
Damny ouaregoodbaby .Youdon'tneed
t
of i
nishy
ourdegreeyoucanst artmaki
ng
musicnow"Ismiledt
earsroll
i
ngonmyf aceit
fel
tli
keadream cometrue"Don'tcryy
oumake
mesad"
Me:"
Thi
sfeel
sgr
eatdaddyi
fit
sadr
eam pl
ease
don'
twakemeup"
Dad:"I
tsrealsweetheart
.I'
m herewearehere
withyouandI '
m goinghelpyouf l
our
ishdon'
t
crynow"Hewi pedmyt earswit
hhisthumbs
andkissedmyf or
ehead.Myst omachgrowledI
chuckled"Let'
sgof eedthosemunchieswhat
doy ouwannaeat ?"
Me:
"I
skobhonepapa"
Hel
ookedatmewi
thar
aisedbr
ow"
What
?"
Dad:
"Womandon'
teati
skobhobaby
"
Me:
"Wel
lmi
naIeati
t"
Dad:
"Fr
om t
odayonwar
dsy
ouar
enot
"
Me:
"ButdaddyI
'
m cr
avi
ngf
ori
t"
Dad:"
I'
m sorr
ysweet hear
t"Ipout
edheplanteda
peckonmyl i
pst henpushedmeout .Wedr ov
e
totherest
aurant."
Whaty ougonnaeat?
"He
sai
dbr owsi
nghisey esonthemenu.Ifolded
myar msagainstmychestandpouted.He
l
ookedupatme"Youl
ooksocutey
az"Het
ook
outhi
sphoneandt
ookapi
ctur
eofme
Me:
"Idon'
twantt
hisf
oodmi
naIwanti
skobho"
Dad:
"Youarenotgonnaeati
tIssyst
oplooki
ng
al
lcuteandchoosewhatyouwanttoeatonthe
menu"
Me:"Yousuchabadf
atherandagr
andf
ather
yaz"Helaughed
Dad:"AndIexcel"It
ookt hemenuandr oam my
eyes.Icouldn'
tmakemymi ndcozIwanted
i
skobhoandpapnott hi
sfancyfood.Idecided
tohav ewhathehav e.Thewai t
ertookouror der
andleft."
Tellmeaboutt henightyouwer eshot
cany ourecogni
zetheper sonwhoshoty ou"
Me:
"Noi
twasdar
kdaddy
"
Dad:
"Iwi
l
lfi
ndt
hatmot
her
fuckerandki
l
lhi
m"
Me:"
NoIwanttoki
ll
him myself
"Helaughedbut
hesawIwasseri
ousandlookedatme
Dad:
"Whatki
ndofagi
rlar
eyou?
"Il
aughed
Me:
"Agi
rlt
hateati
skobho"Hel
aughed
Dad:
"Youseewhyy
oushoul
dst
opeat
ingi
t"I
l
aughed.
Ourfoodcameweat eoveraconv ersat
ionf i
l
led
wit
hlaughter.I
tstil
lfeel
ssurreal t
hatIhav e
bothparentsandwhoador esme.Wef i
nished
eati
ngandwentt obuymybi lt
ong, some
goodiesandmyphonesi nceIdi dn'thaveone
aft
erthatwedr ovehome.Ihadal ov el
ytime
wit
hmyf at
her.Therewasanar gumenti nt he
l
ounge.
Dad:
"Whatisgoi
ngonwhyareyoual
lshout
ing"
Mom wasangryandspi
tt
ingf
ir
e.Herf
acewas
ver
mil
ion.
Mom:"I
'm si
ckandt
ir
edofthiswoman!
!
Sengi
melaemqalenimanj
e!"Shewaspoi
nti
ng
atAunt
yLusanda
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Fuckof
fmaan!
"
Me:
"Whati
sgoi
ngon?
"IaskedMj
whowas
nexttomeandInot
icedt
hatThandowasnot
here
Mj
:"
Aunt
yLusandasl
appedThandoandshel
eft
.
Gr
andmaandGranpawentt
olookforher
"
Me:"
Whatdoyoumeanshel ef
t"Hegavemea
pi
eceofpaper
.Iunf
oldedi
tandreadThando'
s
badwri
ti
ng.
" MyBel
ovedSi
ster
Im gr
atefulf
orev eryt
hingy ouhav edonef orme.
Youwer eabestmot her,father,
sisteranda
fri
endIcouldev eraskf or.Youraisedmef rom
theageof5y earsuntilnowandI 'm sopr oudof
thewomany our ai
sedmet obe.Ipr omiset o
alwaysfoll
owy ourinstructionsandadv ice
whereIgo.Icannev erfindenoughwor dst o
thankyousiswami .Iknowwhatmom di dwas
verywrongbutI '
m gratefulshedi dcozIdon' t
knowwhatwoul dhav ehappenedt ome.Thank
youfortheper f
ectlif
eandl oveyougav eme.
Wer
eal
l
yhadagoodt
imet
oget
herbutast
hey
sayokungapheli
kuyahlol
ay ouhav ef
oundy our
familynowyoudon'tneedmeany moreand
theyloveyousi
s.I'
m sohappyf oryouslay
Queen.Don'tbesadIwi l
lbef i
neit
stimetobe
onmyownnowandpl easedon' tl
ookforme
.Takecareofyoursel
f,Lami andtheli
tt
lenunus
Iloveyousomuch.
Lov
eThando"Bythet
imeIfini
shedr
eadi
ngt
he
l
ett
erwaswetwit
hmyt ear
s.
Me:"
Whothef
uckgav eyouar i
ghtt
olayy
our
handonmysi
sterAuntyLusanda!
!"
AuntyLusanda:
"Heydon'tshoutatme.Thatgir
l
havenorespectforadul
t.Sheisaspoil
tbrat
!!
"
Me:
"Isweari
fIdon'
tfi
ndherAunt
yLusanday
ou
wi
ll
knowwhoam I !
"
AuntyLusanda:"
Youwon'
ttal
ktomel
i
keI
'
m
yourfr
iend.Showsomerespect
!!
"
Me:
"Respectf
orwhat
?Youdon'
tdeserve
r
espectwena.Ev
ersi
nceIwal
kedi
nt hi
shouse
y
ouhavebeenapai
nint
heass.Leav
eust
he
f
uckal
one!
!"
Aunt
yLusanda:
"Iwi
l
lsl
appedy
out
oo"
Me:"Iwi
l
lli
ketoseeyoutr
y.HeeyI
'
m notscared
ofyoumina!"Shet
ri
edtoslapmeDadheldher
hand.
Dad:"
Youknowwhaty
ouwentt
oof
arnowget
outofmyhouse!
"
AuntyLusanda:
"Withpleasure!
"Shewentupt
o
packIthi
nk.Ical
ledTboseIknowhi st
ensby
head.Actual
l
yIknow3t ensbyheadhi
s,PK'
s
andThando's
Tbose:
"Hel
l
o"
Me:"
It
sKatpl
easef
etchmeIwi
l
lsendy
out
he
addr
essnow"
Tbose:"
Okay"Igav
eMjt
owr
it
etheaddr
ess
thensenti
ttoTbose
Mom:
"Babypl
easedon'
tgo"
Me:"ComingherewasabadideanowIlostmy
si
ster.Idon'
tknowwherei
ssheImightnever
seeheragain"Isobbed
Dad:
"Wewi
l
lfi
ndherl
i
ttl
eAngel
"
Aunt
ySwe:
"Yespl
easest
aymychi
l
d"
Me:
"I
'm sor
rybutIhav
etol
eav
e"
Mom:"Babyplease"Shecamet
okneelinfr
ont
ofme.Lusandaisleavi
ngnowI
'm sor
ry"Her
eyesgl
ist
enedwi t
htears.
Me:
"Don'
tbegmepl
easecozIwon'
tst
ay"
Mom:
"Tal
ktoherWakhepl
ease"
Dad:
"Angel
pleasedon'
tdot
histous.Wej
ust
fi
ndyouwecan'tlosey
ouagai
n"
Me:
"I
'm notdy
ingdad"Myphoner
ang"
Tbose"
Tbose:
"I
'm out
side"
Me:
"Comei
npl
ease"
Tbose:
"Okay
"Ihungup"
Lami
come"
Lami
:
"Ha.
a"
Me:
"Hai
bowenaasambe!
"(l
et'
sgo!
)
Lami
:
"Idon'
twantt
ogomommy
"
Me:
"Ml
etheSqal
okuhl
e"
Sqalo:"
Youdon'thav
etogosi
spl
easest
ayI'
m
beggingyou"Shesaidgi
vi
ngmeLamiwho
star
tedwaili
ng.
Me:"
Awuthuleumsindo!!
"(Shutup!
?)"
Oryou
wantmetobeaty ou?"Heshookhishead
"
Thulake!
"(Shutup)
Mom:
"Wakhest
opherpl
ease"shecr
ied.
Tbosewal
kedi
n
Tbose:
"Gr
eet
ings"Theygr
eet
edhi
m back
Me:"
TakeLami hei
sheavy
"Hetookhi
m"Don't
cr
ymom Iwi l
lcomebackwhenIfi
ndmysi
ster
"
Shesqueezedmeinherar
ms
Mom:"Pl
easedocomeback.Leav
eyourphone
number"
Me:
"Dadhav
eit
"
Mom:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"
Theyallhuggedmethenwel
eft
.Ont
hewayI
narr
atedthewholest
oryt
oTbose
Tbose:"
Wowgr eaty
oufindyourfami
l
y.Don'
t
worryIwil
lfi
ndThando"Ical
ledPK
PK:
"Hel
l
o"
Me:
"Hey
"
PK:
"Babyy
ouar
ecr
ying"
Me:
"Ngi
cel
aubuy
etu"(
Comebackpl
ease)
PK:
"Whathappenedwhyar
eyoucr
ying"
Me:
"Thandol
efti
t'
sal
ongst
ory
."
PK:
"Whatdoy
oumeanshel
eft
"
Me:
"Shel
eftmebaby
."Icr
ied
PK:
"Don'
tcr
ybabyTomor
rowI
'
m comi
ngokay
"
Me:
"Tomor
rowi
sfarPK"
PK:
"IknowandI
'
m sor
ry."
Me:
"Goodby
e"
PK:
"Don'
tbemadpl
ease"
Me:"
I'
m notmad"Ihungup.Hecal
l
edIswi
tched
of
fmyphone.
•
LUCI
A
•
It'
sbeen2mont hsnowsi nceIhav ebeenlyi
ng
onthebed.Mywhol ebodyiscov eredwith
thr
obbi ngwoundsIdon'tknowwhatwent
wrongIwasf inethenextmi nut
ev uuizi
londa
umzi mbawonke.Icantev enmov eordo
anything.
Iwenttothehospit
albuttheyarenothelpingal
l
theydoistogi
vemei nject
ionsthatworsenthe
sit
uati
on.Hewalkedinlookingall
handsome.
Gonearethosedayswher ehewoul dsmileat
mesoonasourey eslocked.
Thelookhegivemenowi sfull
ofhateand
anger.Af
terweranoutoft hemoneywer obbed
Konkewest r
uggledreal
lybadIcouldn'
tdo
nothi
ngIli
edt ohi
mt hatIfoundajobtruthisI
washav i
nganaf f
airwit
hsomemi ll
ionair
eman
whoisolderthenmyf at
her.
Iwasdoingthi
sf orusangi
thyenahecoul
dn't
provi
deforussoIdi dsomethi
ngtoputf
oodin
thetabl
etheonlywayIknowhow.Hef oundout
andhewasv eryangrybutheforgav
emef or
thesakeofCassandraourdaughter
.
Mv
elo:
"Br
idget
,Cassi
eandIar
egoi
ngout
"
Me:"
Youcan'
tleav
emeal
oneMv
eloI
'
m si
ckas
youcansee"
Mvelo:
"Idon'
thaveti
mef ortakingcar
eofyou
howmanyt i
mesdidItel
lyout ogotothe
hospit
al.Thi
stoomuchandy ouaresti
nki
ng!
"
Hecov er
edhisnosewithhiscoat
Me:"
Itol
dyouthatt
hehospi
tal
doesn'
thel
p.
Andwhatisgoi
ngonbetweenyouandBri
dget
"
Mvel
o:"
Shetaki
ngcar
eoft
heneedsyouar
e
f
ail
i
ngtosinceyoul
yi
ngi
nthi
sbed"
Myheartbrokeintomil
li
onpi
ecesyouknowI
hav
elearnttolovethi
sboyandhedoesthi
sto
me
Me:"
Mv el
owhyareyoudoi
ngthi
stomehuh
don'
tyouf eel
sor
ryf
orme"Icri
ed
Mvelo:"
Gotot hehospit
alt
hatwheresick
peoplearebeingtakencar
eof f
.Lookatyou
Luci
ay ouarebecomi ngworseever
yday.
..
Ohmy
God!"Hewi denedhiseyes
Me:
"What
?"
Mv
elo:
"Uphi
thi
zai
zi
bunguLuci
a!"
Me:"Whatnooo!
"Il
ookedatmyarm andsaw
wormsonmywounds" OhGod"Iscr
eamedin
anguish
"BabyCassi
eisfi
nishedeati
nglet'
sgo..
.ohmy
godwhat'st
hatsmel l
"Sai
dBridgetasshe
walkedi
n.
Br
idgeti
sCassi
e'
snannybutnowshei
staki
ng
myman.
Mv
elo:
"Shei
sst
inki
ngl
et'
sgetoutofher
e"
Me:"Mv elopleasehelpme!"Icri
edbutt
hey
i
gnor ed.meandwal kedoutleav
ingme
screamingi nanguish.GodwhathaveIdonet
o
deservet hi
swhydon' tyoutakemeinst
eadof
thi
ssuf feri
ng.
[
06/01,08:
13]W:
HappyBi
rt
hdayPhumel
ele
Zanokuhl
e
49
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
Thi
swomani
sreal
l
yapai
nint
heassj
ehov
a.
Me:
"MaSbongaisnotgoi
ngany
wher
e!"Li
z
wal
kedi
nwithSbonga
Sbonga'
sgogo:"
Wher
ear
ehi
sbags
ntombazane!
"
Me:
"Sbonga?
"
Sbonga:
"Daddy
?"
Me:
"Doy
ouwantt
ogowi
thgogo"
Sbonga:
"NoIwantmommy
"
Me:
"Youhear
dhi
m nowger
e!"
Sbonga'
sgogo:
"Boycomet
ome"
Sbonga:
"Hay
iangi
funi
"(Idon'
twantt
o)
Sbonga'
sgogo:
"Whynot
?"
Sbonga:
"Aunt
yKhol
ekapi
nchmewhenI
'
m
ther
e"
Me:"
Haaathi
sist
hel
astt
imeyouseehi
m..
Iwil
l
makesurehi
sMamadoesn'
tal
lowhi
mtovisi
t
youguy
s!"
Sbonga'
sgogo:"
Youaret
heonewhoi
sfeedi
ng
hi
ml i
es.Khol
ekalov
ethi
sboy!
"
Me:
"Leav
emot
herpl
ease"
Sbonga'
sgogo:
"Nomat
terwhaty
oucando
Sbongai
snoty
ourson.
"
Me:
"Youar
est
il
lher
e?"
Sbongagogo:
"Youwil
lregretourpat
hever
cr
ossedmyboy "Shecl
ickedhertoungeand
walkedout
.
Igroanedinfrust
rati
onyazIdon'
tneedt
hisI
m
goingthroughalotalr
eadyurg."
Thanky
ouLiz
forcall
i
ng.Hei sreadyri
ght
?"
Li
z:"
Yes"It
ookSbongaandleftwi
thhi
m.Itook
hi
mt othezool
ake.Wehadf unandboughti
ce
cr
eam andnewcowboyf orhim
Sbonga:
"Thanky
oudaddy
"
Me:
"Youar
ewel
comemyboy
"Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps
Sbonga:
"Geedaddythatgr
oss!"Hewipedhi
s
l
ipsvi
gorousl
ymakingmet olaugh.
Me:
"Letgohomenowy
ouhadf
un?
"
Sbonga:
"YesbutImi
ssmommy
"
Me:
"Mom wi
l
lbebacksoon"Ibuckl
edhi
m up
t
henwenttomyseatanddr
ovebackasIcal
l
ed
mysi
sterSqal
o.
Sqal
o:"
Heybr
o"
Me:
"Heysi
showar
eyou"
Sqal
o:"
I'
m supermadr
ightnow"
Me:
"Whathappened?
"
Sqal
o:"
AuntyLusandasl
appedThandoandshe
l
eftnowIssyl
efttoo.Mom i
scr
yingher
e"
Me:"
OhGodt
hatwomanshei
sanui
sance
shame"
Sqalo:
"IswearIwanttoslapherjustonce"I
l
aughedy ouknowt hefunnythi
ngwi t
hSqalois
thatsheisacrybabybutshekickassay
kancanefuthi
.Uthi
ebekhalaebekubhaxabul
a
ngaphaitssofunnyI'
mt el
li
ngyou.
Me:"
Sheneedtof
indamanandgetl
aid.These
ar
esideef
fect
sofsal
t"
Sqal
o:"
Ifeel
sor
ryf
ort
hatman"Il
aughed
Me:"
Iwantedyoutosendmedi gi
tsofthatPI
yourecommendedtoy ourbabydaddywhenhe
wantedtofi
ndhissi
ster'
skil
ler
s.Ihopeherehe
wil
lbeproduct
ive"
Sqalo:"
Hei sal waysproducti
veitj
ustthat
Phuml a'ski
llerareseri
alkil
l
ersI'
mt el
l
ingyou
theyleftnothingthatcouldleadbacktothem"
Me:
"Okaypl
easesendt
hem now"
Sqal
o:"
Whydoy
ouwanthi
m"
Me:"
Someonetr
ytoki
l
lKonkeIneedhi
mtof
ind
outwhoi
she/she"
Sqal
o:"
Youl
i
e"
Me:
"I
mtel
l
ingy
ou"
Sqal
o:"
TjooIwi
l
lsendt
hem now"
Me:
"Thanky
ouIl
ovey
ou"
Sqal
o:"
Ilov
eyout
oobabybr
other
"
Me:
"Cal
i
le"Shel
aughedandhungup.Shesent
t
henumberIcal
l
edthePIandhesaidhewil
l
getoni
t.
"
Sbonga"
Sbonga:
"Daddy
"
Me:"
Whydidn'
tyout
ell
ust
hatKhol
ekai
s
pi
nchingy
ou"
Sbonga:
"Shesai
dshewi
l
lki
l
lme"
Nx
!
Me:"
Nobodywillt
ouchy ouyezwa"Henodded
"
Pleaseyoumusttel
l uswhensomeone
t
hreatent
odohar mfulthi
ngstoyouokayso
t
hatwewi l
lpr
otectyou"
Sbonga:
"Okay
"Wearr
ivedathomev
eryt
ir
ed
anddeci
dedtosl
eep.
"
Hubby
"shel
ookedatmewi
thal
eersmi
l
e
Me:
"Whendi
dyouwakeup?
"
Konke:"
Shhh"shepressedherfi
ngeronmyli
ps
andkissedme.OhdamnImi ssherli
psI
i
ndulgedint
othekisssqueezi
ngherbutt
.She
unbuckl
edmybeltIcouldn'
thel
pbutnot
icethe
dif
fer
enceofherscentormaybesheboughta
newperfume.Il
ookedatherandjumpedupin
shock
Me:"
Whatt hef
uckLi
z!"shewaswear
ing
Konke'
slacenumberandheels
Li
z:"
Shedon'
thav
etoknow.Letmeof
fl
oadt
he
st
ressyouhav
e"
Me:
"Getoutofmybedr
oom Li
z!!
!
Li
z:
"Comeon"
Me:"Whatthef
uckiswr ongwithyou.Konke
gaveyouJobwheny ouneededitbutyouwant
dothistohery
ouar esuchacruelbitchSi
es!
"
Shecriedandranout.Jesuswhatthefuckwas
that
.
ThenextmorningIhadtotakeSbongatomy
si
sterSi
hlesi
nceLizpackedherthi
ngsandl
eft
.
Me:
"Thanky
ouf
ort
his"
Si
hle:
"Ohcomeonhei
smygr
andsonandt
hey
getal
ongwi
thSbani
set
hu"
Me:
"Wher
e'sy
ourhusband?
"
Si
hle:
"Hewentt
oseehi
sdaught
erbutI
'
m sur
e
hei
sonhiswayback"
Me:"OkayIwillseeyoulater"Iki
ssedhercheek
andleft."
Majit
a"Theygr eet
edbackt henIwent
i
nside"Hell
osthandwasami "Shemov edabit
"Yesbabywakeuppl ease"Sheopenedherey es
"Yesss!
"Iplantedki
ssesal l
ov erherf
ace
Konke:
"Wa.
.ww..water
"Iwentt
ofet
chwat
er
andcal
ledherdoctor.
Doc:
"Mor
ningMi
ssZwanewel
comeback"
Konke:
"Morni
ng"Ihel
pedherdr
ankwi
thast
raw
"HowlonghaveIbeenher
e"
Me:
"I
tsday6t
oday"
Doc:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng"
Konke:
"I
'mf
ine"
Doc:
"Doy
our
ememberwhathappened?
"
Konke:
"YesIdo"
Doc:
"Ar
eyoui
npai
n?"
Konke:
"No"
Doc:
"Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
saspace"
Me:"
Thankyouf
orwaki
ngupImi
ssy
ou,
Sbongatoo"
Shesmi
l
edf aint
ly"
I'
m sor
ryaboutt
het
hings
myfami
lysaid"
Konke:
"I
t'
sokayhowi
smyson"
Me:"
Hemi
ssy
oual
ot.
.Ihav
egoodnewsf
or
you"
Shesmi
l
edi
nant
ici
pat
ion
"Wearetwomont hspr
egnant"Thesmil
eonher
facedi
sappear
edi mmediat
ely
."BabeIt
hought
youwil
lbehappy"Shestart
edcryi
ng"Babe"I
pull
edheri
nmyar ms
Konke:
"Yourf
amilyhat
emeI
nahowcanIhav
e
ababywithyou"
Me:
"Hat
eisast
rongwor
dbaby
"
Konke:
"Idon'
twanty outofi
ghtwit
hy ourfamil
y
Iknowhowpai nf
ulitis.Mydadisnottalki
ngto
meandImi sshim somuchsoIcan' tletyougo
thr
oughthat"
Me:
"Theywi
l
lcomear
oundbaby
.Il
ovey
ou
mi
na"
Konke:"
NoInast
opbeingstubborn.Il
oveyou
toomuchtowatchyoufightwit
hy ourf
amil
y
becauseofme.Let
'sendthisr
elati
onshi
p"
Ipul
l
edbackandl
ookedather
Me:
"Youar
ejoki
ngr
ight
"
Konke:
"NoI
'
m not
"
Me: "
NoKonkeyoucan'tdothi
stous.You
chosemeov eryourf
atherI
'
ddot hesamefor
youbaby.Forustobetoget
her.Don'
tendus
please"
Konke:
"Ar
elat
ionshi
pwithoutf
ami
lyblessi
ngs
i
snotgoodandhav etoomuchbadlucks
may bethatwhyIwasinv
olv
edinacaracci
dent
.
I
'm sorr
ybutI'
m afr
aidwecan'
tgoonanymore"
Me:"Hayi
angi
vumidon'
tyoul
oveme?What
aboutourchi
l
d?"
Konke:"YouknowIloveyouandwewi
l
l
coparentIguess"shecr
ied
Me:"Konkedon'
tdothi
sI'
m beggi
ngy ou"Ihel
d
herhandsandkissedt
hem "
Please"Iwhisper
ed
Konke:
"I
m sor
ry"Shesobbed."
PleasegoIwant
tobeal
one"
Me:
"Baby
..
."
Konke"JustGO!!"Ihuff
edandwalkedout
.
MelancholydescendedonmeIf el
tli
keI'
m
drowninghowcanshedot hi
stous.Howcan
shegiveupsoeasi ly.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
May besomeonemaythinkI
mt oomuchorIm
control
l
edbymyemot i
onsorhormonesbutthe
trut
hwillr
emainst
il
lPKhappenstobenever
therewhenIneedhi
mt hemostandIhat
eit.
Ioncealmostdiedy ear
sbackandhewasnev er
there.Mysi
sterisouttherealoneandIneed
himt obeher
ewi thmebutnohei stel
li
ngme
thathewil
lcomebackt omor r
owr eall
y?I
expecthi
swor l
dt ostopwheni tscomest ome.
RightnowIdontf eeli
mportantinhislif
e,he
caresabouthisfathersbusinessesthenme.
Thefat
herthatIhav enevermetIm notbei
ng
for
wardorsomet hingbutItsal
most3y ear
s
nowsincewest art
eddat i
ngbutIhavenever
methisparent
sandIhav eneverevenhear
d
himtal
kingaboutintroduci
ngmet othem.
IknowCapeTowni smi l
esawaybutPKhave
busi
nessassoci
ateswhocansenthimthei
r
pri
vatej
ettofet
chhim.Idontknowifi
ts
becausehedoesntcar
eorhedoesntwantt
o
uset
hist
hingcal
lbr
ain.
Asf orcominginmyhousewhi l
eknowingmy
sit
uationwellIj
ustcoul
dntst
ayt her
eknowi
ng
thathadInotwentt her
emysisterwoul
dnt
haveleftme.
Icouldntst andthatwoman,sheisthereason
mysi sterleft.AsmuchasIprati
cal
lyrai
sed
my selfIknowhowt otal
kandrespectelder
s
butthatwomanpushedmet otheedge.
Iwaslist
eningtoherfrom t
hemomentshe
star
tedtalki
ngshedoesntli
keus.Herjokes
weremeanandshet houghtIdidntnot
ice.I
dontregretspeaki
ngtoherinthatmanner .
Tbose:"
Callmewheny ouneedmeIwi l
l gonow
andlookforThandostopcry
ingandstressi
ng
Katyouarepregnantf
orcryi
ngoutloud"
Il
ookedathi
m bemused
"YesIknowandIm wonder
ingwhywer
eyou
keepi
ngthatf
rom me"
Me:
"Iwasntkeepi
ngt
hatf
rom y
ou"
Tbose:
"Ohr
eal
l
y?"
Me:"
OkayfineIm notpr
oudIf
all
pregnantagai
n
Tbose.I
m sti
llyoungtobeamotherof3infact
tobeamot heratall
"
Tbose:
"ButIwi
l
lnev
erj
udgey
oubr
a"
Me:
"IknowandI
m sor
ry"
Tbose:"
It
sokay.
..
Iwi
ll
seeyouguys"Hekissed
myf or
eheadandLami'
sfor
eheadthenhe
walkedout.
Ibreat
hedoutl
oudl
yandwipedmyt ear
sthen
tookaremoteandopencar
toonsf
orLami.
Iwheeledmy selft
othekit
chenandopena
fr
idgetotakeLami '
syogurtIst
oodupt oreach
i
t.Foramomentt her
eIthoughtI
m paral
yzed
Im gl
adIcanst andanditwasntthatpai
nfulj
ust
bearabl
epain.
InnotimeIwoul
dbeheal
ed.Icl
osedthe
f
ridgeandwheel
edmysel
ftot
hedrawerwher
eI
t
ookt
het
easpoont
henwentbackt
othel
ounge.
Me:
"Her
e"
Hef
oldedhi
sar
msandpout
edhi
sli
ps.
"
Take"Hej
ustl
ookedatme
"ThembalamiZulutaketheyogurtandeat!
"He
staresatmewi t
hMzwakhe' sli
tt
lecuteey
es.I
placedtheyogurtandthespoonont hegl
ass
tableandwheeledmy sel
ftothekit
chentoget
startedwi
thcooking.
Idonthaveti
mef ortoddler'
stantr
umsIgot
al
otonmymi ndr i
ghtnow.AsmuchasIdi dn'
t
wanttotal
ktoPKbutIhadt oswi t
chonmy
phonesothatIcancallThandoandal socall
dadformymedi cat
ionsinceIlefti
tthere.
Messagesfl
oodedint heywer eall
from PK.
Thando'
scallsentmest r
aighttovoicemailsoI
cal
ledDaddy.
Dad:
"Li
tt
leangel
"Thesoundofhi
svoi
ceyou
cant
ellt
hathewasn'
texpect
ingmycal
lhence
hesoundedhappy
Me:
"SawbonaBaba"(
Hel
l
oDad)
Dad:
"Yesbabyar
eyoual
ri
ght
?"
Me:"
YesfatherI
'
mfineIjustneedaf
avourf
rom
youI
'm sor
rytobot
heryou"
Dad:
"Ohnosweet
hearty
oucannev
erbot
her
mehowcanIhelpyou?"
Me:"
Cany
oupleasesendMj
tomyhouset
o
br
ingmymeds"
Dad:
"Okaysweet
hear
tsendt
headdr
esst
hen"
Me:
"Okayt
hanky
ousomuch"
Dad:
"Nopr
obl
em mychi
l
d"
"
Ist
hatI
ssy
?"sai
dmom ont
heot
hersi
de
Dad:
"Yesshefor
gethermeds"Ihear
dsome
shuf
fl
ingbef
orehear
ingmymom' ssweetv
oice.
Mom:
"Babygi
rl
"
Me:
"Ma"
Mom:
"Ar
eyoui
npai
n?Whoi
sther
ewi
thy
ou?
"
Me:
"Al
i
ttl
ebi
tofpai
nandI
'
m al
one"
Mom:"Youcan'
tbeal
onei
nyoursi
tuat
ionI
ssy
sendmeanaddressIwi
ll
comeasap"
Me:
"I
'mr
eal
l
yfi
neMamaIj
ustneedmymeds"
Mom:
"Okaysweet
hear
tsendt
headdr
ess"
Me:"Okay "WehungupandIsendt headdr ess
thenstartedcookingsinceIcoul dn'tstandt oo
l
ongImadesi mpl emeal l
ighterspaghet t
iand
meatbal l
sasf ordesertberri
esandcoconut
cream.Iwentt ocheckonLami withouthi m
seeingmehewaseat i
ngy ogur tandwat ching
cartoonsIchuckledandwheel edmy selfback
tothekitchen.Myphoner ang
"
Daddy
"
Dad:"
I'
m outsideopenthegat
e"Iknewithewill
betheonewhowi l
lbri
ngthemeds.Usingthi
s
opport
unit
yt oseemeandpr obabl
ytobegme
tocomebackhome.Iopenedt hegateforhi
m
aswel
last
hedoor
.Guesswhathewaswi
th
Mama.
Me:
"Youdi
dn'
thav
etocomebot
hfol
ks"
Mom: "Wewantedtoseewhereourdaught
er
stay.Youhaveabeati
ful
housesweethear
t"she
saidroamingherey
es.
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Dad:"
Mhhm I
t'
ssmel
l
sdi
vi
newhatar
eyou
cooki
ng"
Me:"Not
hingfancymeatball
sand
spaghet
ti
...
anyt
hingt
odrink"
Mom:
"Nosweet
hear
tmay
bel
ater
"
Me:
"Lat
er?
"
Dad:
"Yes"Hewi ggl
edhiseyebrowswi t
hasmi r
k
onhisface.ThatwhenInoticetheywere
car
ryi
nganov ernightbagIcouldn'
thelpbut
l
augh
Me:
"Mar
ayout
wot
hough.
..
YouknowI
'
m
temptedtothr
owy ououtcozy
ouar
ebei
ng
sneaky"Theyl
aughed
Mom:
"Badl
uckswi
l
lhaunty
ou"Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
"Ai
n'
tscar
edoft
hatshi
t"
Mom:
"LanguageI
ssy
"
Me:
"Sorr
yMommyQueen"Ibowedmyhead
maki
nghertochuckl
e."
Comet
hissi
de"Il
ed
t
hem tothel
ounge.
Lami:
"Khul
u!Gogo!"Hescr
eamedexci
tedl
yI
l
ookedathimlenganeit
hat
hayazhebarel
y
knowthem
Dad:
"Hel
loBoy
"Hescoopedhi
m upt
ickl
edhi
m.
Hegiggl
edwri
thi
nghi
mself
.
Me:
"Youcangoplacet
hebagupstair
sMamai
n
t
hesecondbedr
oom onyourr
ighthand"
Mom:
"Ther
oom i
snextt
oyourbedr
oom?
"
Me:
"Not
hatonei
sLami
'
s"
Mom:
"Iwantt
heonenextt
oyour
s"
Me:"
I'
m sorr
ythatwon'
tbepossi
ble.Theot
her
onethatisnextt
omybedroom i
sThando's"
Mom:
"Ohokayt
hen"Shewentup
Dad:
"Theboyt
hatf
etchedy
oust
ayher
e?"
Me:"
Notreal
l
yhestayinKZNhejustcame
si
nceI'
m goi
ngt
hroughdif
fi
cul
tti
me"Mom
camebackandsatnextt
oLami.
Mom:
"Thehousei
stoobi
gfor3ofy
oubaby
"
Me:
"Uhm y
eah"Ican'
ttel
lthem PKst
ayher
ebut
mydemeanorfai
l
edme
Dad:
"Don'
ttel
lmey
ourboy
fri
endst
ayher
eIssy
"
Me:
"Ofcour
senot
"
Dad:"
UnamangaNkosisthandi
l
e!"(Youarelyi
ng
Nkosist
handi
le!
)Idi
dn'tsayanything"
Thisboy
boughtyouhousesothatyouguy scan
cohabit
?"
Me:
"NoDad"
Dad:
"Thenwhycan'
thest
ayathi
shome
kant
i!
!!
"heshout
edIj
umpedabi
t
Mom:
"Cal
m downSi
thol
e"
Dad:"Don'
ttellmet ocal
m downMommyQueen
thi
sboywi l
l neverdotheri
ghtt
hingi
fheis
gett
ingeverythi
ngeasily
.Heneedmotiv
ati
ont
o
dosowheni shecomi ngback?
"
Me:
"Tomor
row"
Dad:
"Goodhewi
l
lfi
ndmehere"Iswal
lowed
har
dOhGodchocol
atecakewamibakit
hi.
Me:"
PKisagoodguydaddyhei
snott
aki
ngan
adv
antageofme.
"
Dad:
"Don'tworr
ysweet
heartIwi
llhavemanto
mant al
kwithhi
m"ThenhedecidetocallI
l
ookedatmyphoneandl ookedatthem t
hey
werestari
ngbackatme.Ibi
teli
phardasI
di
dn'tknowwhattodo.
Mom: "
Goanswery
ourphonesweet
heart"I
l
ookedatDadwhogavemeal ookwhichI
chosetoi
gnor
eandwheeledmysel
ftothe
ki
tchen.
Me:
"Hel
l
o"
PK:"Babydon'
tbeangrypleaseIpr
omise
tomorrowI'
m coming.Ij
usthaveonemeeti
ng
i
nt heeveni
ngTomor r
owIwi ll
bether
e
sthandwasami"(mylove)
Me: "
Hav eyounot i
cethateveryti
mewhenIneed
yout hemosty ouhappent obenother ePK.I
feelli
key oudon'tcareaboutmewhat '
s
i
mpor t
antisyourfather'
sbusinesses.Thepast
dayswhenIt r
iedtocallyouandy ouwer e
unreachableIneededy oubadly.Lami was
kidnappedandIgotshott heytookyourcar"
PK:
"OhmyGodbabywhyy
oudi
dn'
ttel
lme"
Me:
"Tel
lyouhowwhenIcoul
dn'
treachy
ou
PK?
"
PK:
"I
'm sor
ryst
handwasamiar
eyouokay
?Is
Lamiokay?Whoshotyouohmy"'
Me:
"Lami
isf
inehewasbr
oughtbackt
henext
morni
ngandI'
m al
sofi
nebutI
'm wal
ki
ngwi
tha
wheel
chai
rcozIwasshotont
helegs"
PK:"
Im sososorr
ybaby.Wheny ouwakeup
tomorr
owIwi l
lberi
ghtther
e.Ngiy
axol
isa
yezwa"(I
'
m sorr
yokay)
Me:
"Okay"
PK:
"Wher
eisThando?Whathappened"
Me:"
Iwil
ltel
lyoumoreaboutt
hatcozit
'sal
ong
st
orybutTbosewenttol
ookforher"
PK:
"Di
dyout
ryherf
ri
ends"
Me:"
NobutI '
m sureTbosewil
l.Myphonewas
i
nyourcarthenightIwashij
ackedsoIdon'
t
hav
et hei
rcontact
s"
PK:
"Ei
shI'
m sor
rybabythatyougoi
ngt
hrougha
l
otandI'
m nott
herewit
hy ou"
Me:
"I
t'
sfi
nej
ustcomet
omor
rowpl
ease"
PK:
"Iwi
l
lbaby
.Il
ovey
ousomuchKi
tKat
"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oochocol
atecake"
PK:
"Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
"
Me:
"Okayst
handwasami
"
PK:"
Sure"Wehungup.If el
tbetteraft
ertal
ki
ng
tohi
m Ican'twaitf
ortomorrow.Hour sseem t
o
bedragging.Lat
erTbosecamebackwi t
hout
ThandoIcouldn'
thelpbutcryuntil
Ifal
lasl
eep.
Thenextmor ningIwaswokenupbymomma
whooff er
edmeabat handdressedmeupaf
ter
smearinglot
ionedonmybody .Shemademy
bedthenshewentt ocal
lmyfather.
Dad:
"Mor
ningl
i
ttl
eangel
"
Me:
"Mor
ningDaddyhowdi
dyousl
eep"
Dad:
"Isl
eptwel
lsweet
ywhatabouty
ou"
Ishruggedmyshoulder
smyheartwassor
eand
thethingthatwi
l
leaset
hepai
nistoseemy
l
itt
lesister
.
Mom:"Thandowi l
lbefoundsweethear
t.Your
gr
andparentsarelooki
ngforher
"shebrushed
mycheekt hendadpickedmeupandwent
downstai
rswithhi
m.Heplacedmeont hechai
r
nextt
oTbose.Thebreakf
astwassetandready
i
tssmellsreal
l
ygoodmymout hwater
ed
Me:
"Mor
ningdawg"
Tbose:
"Mor
ningbr
a"
Me:
"Habay
ouLami
"
Lami
:
"I'
mfi
neKi
tKathabay
ou"
Me:"I
'm al
sof i
necomeandki ssmommy "
Tbosehelpedhi m downt henhecamet ome
withpoutedlipsalready.Iki
ssedhi
slipsthen
hewentbackt ohisseat.Weat ebr
eakfastover
l
ightconversation.Ifel
treal
l
ybadthatI'
m
eati
ngandThandocoul dnotbeeati
ng
wherevershei s.
Tbose:
"ThankyouMr
sSi
thol
eforbr
eakf
asti
t
wasdeli
cious"
Mom:"
I'
dli
ketotaket
hecr
edi
tbutmyhusband
madethi
sbreakf
ast"
Me:
"Real
l
y?"
Dad:
"Yes"
Tbose:
"Wowy
ouar
eagr
eatcookMrSi
thol
e"
Dad:
"Thanky
oubutmywi
fei
sthebest
"
Me:"Ofcourseyouwill
compl
ementhershei
s
yourwife"Welaughed.
Tbose:
"Ishoul
dgetgoi
ngandl
ookf
orThando
thanky
ouonceagainMrandMrsSi
thol
e"
Them:"Noprobl
em son"Tbosest
oodupand
bumpedfistwit
hLami t
henhekissedmycheek
befor
egoingout.
Mom:
"Hei
ssuchahumbl
eguyIl
i
kehi
m"
Dad:
"Whati
syourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thhi
m?"
Me:
"Wear
efr
iends?
"
Dad:
"Real
l
y?"
Me:
"Yesdad"
Mom:"
Howdoesy
ourboy
fri
endf
eel
about
t
hat
?"
Me:
"Heisokaywi
thi
t.TboseandIhav
ebeen
f
ri
endsbefor
eImetPK"
Mom: "Goodt
hen"Aft
erbr
eakf
astmom
col
lecteddi
shesandwashedt
hem whi
ledad,
Lami andIwatchi
ngTVandpl
ayi
ngchess.
Dad:"
Youknowgangstersuset hi
sgamehowt o
outwi
tthei
rri
val
sorenemi esandt hewayyou
goodinthi
sit
sstil
lmakemeaskmy sel
fagai
n
whatkindofagi
rlareyou"Ilaughed
Me:"
AndItol
dyouI'
mthatki
ndagi
rlt
hateat
i
skobho"Hel
aughed
Dad:"Checkmate!"Justthenwehear
dv oices
approachingmygr andparent
sandsi
sters
walkedin.IwantedtojumpatThandodamnmy
l
egs!!
Me:
"Thando!
"Shecametomekneel
edbefor
e
meandwehugged" Howcoul
dyoudot
histo
me"
Thando:
"I
'm sor
ry"Wepul
lbackbr
ushedher
f
aceandsqueezedheri
ntomyar
msagai
n
Me:"
I'
m sososorrypl
easedon'
tl
eaveme
agai
n."Shest
oodupandsatnexttome"
Wher
e
di
dyouf i
ndher?
"
Gr
andma:
"Wi
thsome.
."Thandocutherof
f
Thando:
"I
t'
sdoesn'
tmat
tersi
sI'
m her
enow"
Me:"
I'
m sor
ryf
orwhatAunt
yLusandadi
dto
you"
Thando:
"Idi
dn'tl
eav
ebecauseofhersi
s.Il
eft
cozyoudon'tneedmeanymoreyouhaveyour
famil
y"
Me:"Comeonsi sIwil
lal
way
sneedy
out
his
doesn'tchangeany
thi
ng"
Mom:
"Youar
eal
somydaught
erThando"
Thando:"
Thanky ouMamaandIappr eci
atei
t
butthetrut
hi sI
'
m notyour
sbiologi
cal
ly.My
mom isoutt her
eandnooneknowswher ei
s
shethenmydaddeni edme.Mebei nghis
photocopydidn'
thel
patall
..
."ShesobbedI
pul
l
edheri
nmyar
ms
Me:"I
'
m sorrysl
aybabeIwastoofocusonmy
happinessandfor
gothowcouldt
hismakeyou
feel
uxolovha"
Thando:
"Nosisyoudon'
thav
etof
eel
badt
hat
youfi
nal
lyhappy
."
Dad:
"Wewillhelpyoufi
ndyourpar
ent
smychil
d
butt
hatdoesn'tchanget
hatyouar
eoneofus"
Granpa:
"Whoisyourfat
hermay
beIcant
alk
somesenseintohishead"
Me:"
It
'sEdwardSibi
ya.Shewentt oov
erseas
Khul
uafterhi
swifediedbrutal
ly
.Shewasf ound
deadwit
hnot oesandnipples"
Dad:
"YoumeanEdwardSi
biy
a?Hi
swi
fewas
PhumlaSi
biy
ari
ght?
"
Me:
"Yesy
ouknowhi
m?"
Dad:
"YesPhumla'
sfat
herandIar
eclosefri
ends
andhissoni
sKuhle'
s.
..
"Hewasdist
urbedbya
voi
ceIhavebeenyear
ningt
ohearphysical
"HONEYI M HOME!"Andther
ehewasl ooki
ng
allhandsomeinmaroonpants,bl
ackshir
t
tuckedinandmarooncourtwit
hblackshoes.
"
DADDY!"scr
eamedLami ashewenttohi
s
f
atherwhodr
oppedhisbagandpi
ckedhim up
,
throwi
nghimintheai
r.Mysongi
ggled.
Sqalo:
"Phakswhatareyoudoinghere?"That
'
s
whenPKnot icedthatt
herewereactual
ly
peopleinhere.Hi
sjawdroppedhiseyes
poppedoutheputdownLami .
Me:
"Rel
ax"Imout
hedt
ohi
m
Me:"
Uhm famil
ythi
sismyboy f
ri
endPhakamani
Mngomezulu.
..
..
"Befor
eIevenfi
nished
ev
erybodyscr
eamed" WHAAAAATTT! !
!"
Sqal
o:"
Phaks"Shewhisperedherey
esgli
stened
wit
htears.PKj
ustst
oodt hereandfr
oze"
Talk!!
"
PK:
"Icanexpl
ainKuhl
e"
Gr
andma:
"SmakadeZesul
u!"
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"Il
ookedatev
ery
one
bemused
Sqalo:"
Phaksi
smyboy fr
iendandt
hefat
herof
myunbor nbaby"No!Il
ookedatPKwhowas
shaking
Me:"
PKisitt
rue"Iwhi
sper
edt
ear
sal
ready
t
hreat
eni
ngtocomeout
PK:"
BabyI'
m sor
ry.
..
"Hedi
dn'
tev
enf
ini
shDad
at
tackedhi
m
Dad:"
Yousonofbi
tch!
!Youpl
ayedmy
daughter
sandi
mpregnat
edthem bot
h!!
"
PK:
"Yourdaught
ers?Katy
ouar
epr
egnant
?"
Me:"PKuy enzanjanii
ntoenjenaaaa!"(
Howcan
youdot hatPK!)Ibrokedownmywhol ebody
wasshaki ngIfeltmyhear tbr
eakinginto
mil
li
onunr epair
ablepieces.Dadthrew
countl
esspunchesandr oari
nginanger
Dad:"
Youarebastar
d!!It
rust
edy
ouwit
hmy
daughter
!!
"Sqal
ostoodupandwentt
opul
ldad
away
Sqal
o:"
Daddypl
easeyouar
ehurti
nghi
m"she
cr
iedPKwasbleedi
ngandcoughi
ngbl
ood.
Dad:"Staythefuckoutoft hi
sSqalokuhlet
his
bastarddeser v
eev erypunch!!
"HegrabbedPK
withhisballswhoscr eamedi nagonyasDad
draggedhi m out.Everyonewasshockedand
l
ookingmor osewhi l
eMkhul uwasclenchi
nghis
j
awshi sv einspoppingoutonhi sfor
ehead.He
stoodupgr andmahel dhishand
Gr
andma:"
Babazi
pleasepr
omi
semey
ouguy
s
won'
tki
l
ltheboy"
Gr
anpa:
"Youaski
ngt
oomuchMamaziIcan'
t
pr
omiseyouthat
"Wi
tht
hatsai
dhewal
kedout.
Ican'tbel
ievePKdi dthi
stomewor sewithmy
si
sterandwear ebot hpregnant.I
tf el
tli
ke
someonewasst rangl
ingmyl i
feoutofmeI
couldn'
tbreathIgaspedforairbetweenheart
wrenchingsobs
Sqalo:
"Mamapleasegotoyourhusbandand
tel
lhim nott
oki
llhi
m pl
ease"cr
iedSqal
o
whosefacewastur
ningv
ermil
ionwi
thev
ery
pai
nfulsobt
hatcameoutofhermout
hasshe
wentdownonherknees.
Gr
andmawentt
oherengul
fedheri
ntoahug.
Mom: "Idon'
tgiveafuckaboutthatboyhow
couldhehuh!!Howcanaper sonbecr uell
i
ke
thi
splayingsi
stersworseandimpregnatethem
atthesamet i
meee!!"
Grandma:"
Goandfetchwat
erThando"Thando
wenttofet
chwater
Mom: "BreathIssy,br
eath"Shesaidrubbi
ngmy
backi nsteadoftry
ingtobreathasIwas
suffocatingIheldmybr eat
h.Iwantedtodie
ri
ghtther eandthenithurtmorethenIcould
everexpl ai
n.Howcoul dhe?Howcoul dhedo
thi
st ome?It houghthel oveme,Ithought
..
.I
thought .
..
.
Sqalo:
"Soy
ouapproveofdadki
ll
i
ngt hef
ather
ofmyunbornbaby"Thandocamebackthen
tookLamianddi
sappear
edwithhim
Mom: "
Dammi tmaanSqalokuhleIdon'
tcare
aboutthatbast
ardal
lIcar
er i
ghtnowisIssy'
s
condi
ti
on!!"
Sqal
o:"
WhataboutmeMamaI
'
m al
sohur
ti
ng"
Mom:
"I
ssy
'st
winsar
eindangerSqal
okuhl
e"
Sqalo:
"Soismybaby.I
ssysl
eptwit
hmy
boyfri
endyetshei
stheonet
hatisget
ti
ng
att
ention!"
Gr
andma:
"Idon'
tthi
nksheknewKuhl
e"
Sqalo:
"I
tsfunnyt hatKonkeal sodi
dn'
tknow
aboutZolaniandThul abutyouguyshat
eher.
Whycan'ty ouhat eIssy.Shetookmyboyfr
iend
Phakswasmi nef i
rst!
!"Idi
dn'thav
estr
engthto
defendmy selfIcriedharder
Mom:"Youar
ebeingunf
airSqal
othatboy
pl
ayedyouboth!
!"
Sqal
o:"
Unf
air
?Youar eunfairmom.Youdon'
t
car
eaboutmyfeeli
ngs!Ialsowantyout
o
comfor
tmejustl
ikeyoucomf orther
.What
aboutmehuh?
"shecr
ied.
Mom:
"Youar
ebei
ngi
mpossi
ble.
..
"Shecuther
of
f
Sqal
o:"
It
'sokay,
Iunderst
andyoucanr el
atet
o
herbet
terthatwhatyoudidwi
thdad.Like
motherli
kedaug.
..
."shedi
dn'
tfi
nishedasahot
cl
aplandedonhercheek.
Mom:
"Don'
tyouf
ucki
ngdar
etal
kshi
tnx!
!"
Granma:
"Hay
iMakot
i!
"Sqal
ocr
iedl
ouderand
st
oodup
Sqalo:
"Ihateyou!AndwenaI
ssyIwi
shy
ou
real
l
ydi ed!
!"Sheranout
Grandma:
"OhGodusenzani
kodwalomf
ana!
"
(OhGodwhatist
hisboydoi
ngtous)
Me:"
Mama,Gogowi
thal
lduerespectcanyou
pl
easegi
vemeaspaceIwanttobealone"
Mom:
"Babyy
ou.
..
"
Me:
"Mapl
ease"
Mom:
"But
..
."
Gogo:"
Let
'sgoMakot
i"Theybot
hki
ssedmy
for
eheadandwal
kedout.
Icr
iedl
ouderrel
easi
ngthepaini
nsideofme.I
gavehi
m myheart,mysoulandmybody .What
hur
tthemosthebeggedmet olovehim whenI
wasscaredt
odoso.
Thepainismoret
henwhatMzwakhedi
dtome
cozyenaheknew,heknewwhatbr
okeme
apar
t,whatmademescaredofl
ovi
nghi
m but
hedi
di t
.
Al
lhewant edwastoful
l
fil
lhi
sdesir
esand
di
tchedme."Stopcompari
ngmet oMzwakhe!
"
heusetoshoutatmewhi l
eheknewheis
worsethenMzwakhe.
Allt
histi
mei twasj ustl
i
es.Almostthr
eeyear
s
ofmylif
ewi t
hhim pr omi
singmet heworl
dwas
j
ustpureli
e.Ifeelsoempt y,br
oken,st
upi
dto
l
oveagainandt rustaguy.
Ifeelli
kehestompedmer cil
esslyonmyhear t.
Ifeel
likemyheartisbeingshr eddedtopieces
andthrowntotrashlefttor ot.Ithurt
emotional
lyandphysicall
y ,deathistheonly
thi
ngthatcantakeawayt hisconst antpai
n.
[
06/
01,
08:
13]W: Phumel
eleZanokuhl
e
50
SQALOKUHLE
•
Neveri nmilli
onyearshav eIthoughtPhaks
couldhur tmel i
kethis.EvenwhenIsuspected
heischeat ingIcouldn'tf
indsomet hi
ng
suspicious.Imustsayhei samast erof
cheatinghemadesur eIneverfoundout.
Fortwoy ear
shehav ebeenlyi
ngandcheat
ing
onmewi thmysist
er.Isowishthi
sisa
nightmareIwil
lwakeupany t
imesooncozI
can'tdealwi
ththepainit
'sf
eelsli
keaswor
d
penetrat
ingdeepinmyheart.Howcouldhedo
t
hist
ome.
Ithoughtheloveme, howcanhel ookmei n
theeyesevery
daypromi si
ngmet hewor l
dwhen
heknowshei scheat
ingonme!Themost
painf
ulthi
ngisIst
il
llovehim wi
thallthepieces
ofmyhear t
.
Howwi l
lIevergetoverthis.Whydoesi thav e
tohur tt
hismuch.Ican'ttakethispaini
t sa
wor stpai
nIev erf
elt
.Am Inotenoughf orhim
alone?Isitbecausehehadt owaitforay earto
popt hecherry
?Whati sitthatIssyhavet hatI
don'thave?
If
eel
sowor
thl
ess,
notl
ovabl
eandnotenough.
Allt
hewaytomysister'
shouseIwaswai l
ing
l
ikeababyIam whenIcry.Mycheekwas
burni
ngl
ikehel
lbuttr
ustmet hatpai
nis
nothi
ngcomparedtothepai
ni nmyheart.
Itwouldhavebeenbet t
erifyourhear
tisbroken
youdieaftert
hat.Physi
cal pai
nisbett
erthen
emotionalpai
ncozt her
e'snoherbsnor
medicat
ionf
orhear
tacheal
lyougott
adoisto
acceptt
hepainasi
tis.OhPhakshowcoul
d
you!?
Sihl
e:"
Twinni
e"Ithr
ewmy selfinherar msand
screamedinagony." Heybabewhat 'swr ong"
Mykneeswer efail
ingmeIl etmybodyl osewe
bothwentdownt ot hefloor."Kuhleyouar e
scari
ngmewhathappened?I severybodyokay "
SheknowsIcr yalotev enforami northingI
guessmydemeanort ol
dhert hatthistimei t
s
somethingbi
gger."Babyt alktomepl ease"
Me:
"Phakamani
"Thatal
lIcoul
dsay
Sihl
e:"
Isheokay?
...
Tal
kTwinni
eplease"Icoul
d
sensepanicandimpat
iencei
nhervoice.I
pull
edbackandlookedather
Me:
"He..he.
.hehav
ebeencheat
ingonmeSi
hle
wi
thIssy!
"Icri
ed
Si
hle:"
What
!!ohmyGod"shepoppedouther
eyeshermouthwi
deopen"I
'm sososor
ry
Kuhle"
Me:"Howcoul dhedot hist
omeSi hle?Fort wo
yearsandmont hshehavebeenfoolingme.He
i
mpr egnatedusatt hesametime!Ithurtdeepin
myhear tandIdon' twantt
ofeell
iket hi
s
Twinnie.Pleasetakeawaythi
spainpl ease"I
sobbedl ouder
Si
hle:
"OhTwi
nnie"Shepul
ledmei nherar
ms,
st
roki
ngmybackasIcr i
edharder"I
t'
sgoi
ngt
o
beokaydon'
tcr
y "
Me:"I
twil
lnev erbeokaysi s.Issyispregnant
wit
hhistwi nsI'
m pregnanthowi sthi
sgoingt o
workhuh?May beitsmyf aultIshouldnthave
madehi m waitforthatl
ong.Icoul dn'tsat
isf
y
hi
sneedsormay beI'
m notf unny,sexy,
beauti
full
ikeIssy.I
'
m notenough. ..
."Shecut
meof f
Sihl
e:"
Stopitdon'
tblamey ourselff
orthat
bastar
d'scheati
ngway s.Youar ebeyondsexy
,
beauti
ful
,funnyasmuchasI ssy.Thisi
syour
bodyKuhledon'tfeelbadthatyoudidntgiv
e
himthecakeatfi
rst.Youhady ourr
easonsand
i
t'
snotli
keyouwer ediscreetaboutthem t
ohim
andhechosetowai tforyouorwet houghtso.
I'
mreall
ysorr
yforthepaint hatmoronisputt
ing
youguysthr
ough.YazIt r
ust edhim mxm!"
Me:"Itri
edsistobet hebestgi r
lf
ri
end.Igave
hi
m myal l
,Isacr
ifi
cedal otforhim Ishoul
d
havebeeni nStatestakingmycar eertoahi gher
l
evel butIchosetost ayforhim andhebegged
met ost aywhil
eheknewhei sunfai
thful
."
Si
hle:
"I
'
m sososor
rysi
s"
Me:"Uyenzakanj
anintoebuhl
ungukangaka"
(Howcanhedosuchpai nf
ult
hing)Isobbed
"Youknowwhathur tmoreIsti
lll
ovehim and
I
'm scaredforhi
sli
fe.DadandGranpaleftwi
th
himtheyaregoingtokil
lhi
m Sihl
e"
Sihl
e:"
Theywontki
l
lhi
m buthedeser
vet
odi
e
yaz"
Me:
"Howcany
ousayt
hatSi
hle"
Sihl
e:"
HeplayedyouKuhletoget
herwit
hI ssy
.
Heiscruelnj
e.Iunderst
andthathedi
dn'tknow
youtwoaresister
sbutheshouldn'
thave
cheatedf
rom thefi
rstpl
ace.
"
Me:"Buthedoesn'tdeser vetodieyouguy sare
cruelnj
e.Whataboutmybabyhuhhedeser ve
toknowhisf ather!Whatwi ll
Isaytohim when
heaskmeonedaymommywher e'
sDaddy ?I
hatehowDadandGr anpahandlepeoplewho
hurtus.Ev
eni ftheyki l
lhim.Thedamagehav e
beendoneal ready .AndMamadoesn' tcare
aboutmeI t
'sallaboutI ssy,I
ssy,I
ssywhat
aboutmeI '
m hur t
ingt ooSihl
eandI m pregnant
too"
Si
hle:
"Thati
snott
rueKuhl
emom car
esabout
al
lofus"
Me:"Youwer enotther
eSihl
ethemomentIssy
star
tedcryingshejumpedtoherandcomfort
ed
heronly.Sheistheonethatgetat
tent
iony
et
shesleptwi t
hmyman"
Si
hle:"
Youarebei
ngunf
airnowI
'
m sur
eshe
di
dn'tknow"
Me:"Aninaloy aziqinisolaykhaya!Konkewas
i
nvolvedinacaracci dentbecauset hefamily
hateherf ortakingZol aniandThul aandshe
di
dn'tknow.I sn'tthisthesameaswhatI ssydid
butyenashei sreceiv i
ngalltheloveand
att
ention.Inamandl aal mostlosthisbaby
ngalobuphixiphixibenu.IfIssydidn'tknowsoi s
Konke."
Sihl
e:"
YouknowI'm agai
nstwhatthefamil
yis
doingbutIdon'
tli
kewhatishappeningbetween
youandIssy.Youarebothvi
cti
msKuhl e"
Me:"Thenwhyisshereceivi
ngsomuchl ove
thenme.Mom saidithersel
fthatal
lshecare
aboutisIssy
"
Si
hle:
"Mom wil
lneversayt
hatKuhl
emay
bey
ou
misunder
stoodher
"
Me:
"Whi
chsi
dear
eyouonSi
hle?
"
Sihl
e:"I
ssyandYour
sKuhle.Youguy
sarebot
h
mysi st
ersandwerebot
hplayedwhydoyoufai
l
toreasonthisl
i
kethi
s"
Me:"
I'
m goi
ngnow"Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sandst
ood
up
Si
hle:
"Youcan'
tdr
ivei
nyourst
atesl
eepov
er"
Me:
"Ineedtobeal
oner
ightnow"Imademy
waytothedoor
Si
hle:
"Uhm don'
tgoKuhle"Idon'tknowwhen
di
dshegetupcozshewasnowgr abbi
ngmy
ar
m" Pleasedon'
tpani
citscouldnotwhatit
l
ookli
ke"
Me:
"Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
"
Si
hle:
"Youar
ebl
eedi
ng"
Me:"
What ?"Il
ookedatmybehi ndandsaw
bl
oodst ainonmydr ess.Myhear tstart
ed
beat
ingf ast"Pl
easedon' tt
ell
meI '
ml osi
ngmy
babyplease"Icried
Si
hle:
"Don'
tpani
cKuhl
eit
'sagoodt
hingVi
n
tooktheboy soutIwill
dr i
veyout
ot hehospi
tal
"
shesaidsocal mlywhileIwaspanicki
ng.The
thoughtoflosingmybabyki l
l
edmet hehouse
wasspi nni
ngandev erythi
ngwasbecomi ng
blur
rythenlightswereout.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
NowI t
smakesensewhyhenev erint
roduced
met ohisparents.TheyknowSqalokuhleashis
gir
lf
ri
end.Allthisti
meIhav ebeenasidechick
wowIsal utehim hereall
yknowhowt oplaythi
s
gameofcheat ing.Ineversawamessageora
l
ipsti
ckatleast.Hedeser v
eanOscar,for
almost3y ear
sofmyl i
feIhavebeenaf ool
onceagain.
Whatiswr ongwit
hmewhyguy scan'
tlov
eme
andstayfait
hful
tome.Am Inotwort
htobe
tr
eat
edf ai
rly?Whydotheyfi
ndi
teasytohurt
me?IsitbecauseIfal
lhar
dforthem?Nothi
ng
i
spainf
ulthentobehur
tbysomeoney
ounev
er
t
houghtcouldhur
tyou.
PKknowwhathur tmebuthedi ditany wayI
guessthecar ,
houseandschool i
twashi m
tr
yingtoeasehi sconscious.Whathur tthe
mostisthatItrustedhim withevery
thinginme
henceitcutdeeperthenakni fecould.Hedi dn'
t
gi
vemeanyr easonnott otrusthi
m andl ove
hi
m whol eheatedl
y.IfonlyIknewhewas
pl
ay i
ngme.
Hemademehi ssidechickthatwhatIwor t
h
beingSIDECHI CKhowbel itt
li
ng,i
nval
uableand
wor t
hlessdoeshet hi
nkofme.Thepai nis
deepert henwhatIhavebeenbef or
e.No
amountofpai nhav eeverfel
tsoagonizi
ng.He
brokemei nt
opiecesI'
m beyondshatt
ered.
HowIwi shI'm notpregnanthowdoIev en
begintogetonwi t
hlifewithsuchpain.I
'
m so
stupi
dIneverlearnIshouldn'
thavetrust
edhi
m.
Asifit
snotbadt hatLami isfat
her
lessnowmy
twinswil
lgothroughthatagain.I
talsodoesn't
sitwel
lwithmet hatmychildr
enhav ediff
erent
surnames.Itmakemef eelli
keani r
responsibl
e
whore.
Theysaycry i
nghelpIguessI'
m notoneoft
he
l
uckyones.Ri ghtnowIfeell
i
kesleepi
ngand
neverwakeup.I t'
stoomuchpainforone
person.If
eltarmswr appi
ngaroundmeasIlet
outheartwrenchingsobs.
Thando:
"Ngi
yaxol
i
sasi
s"(
I'
m sor
rysi
s)
Me:
"Howcoul
dhedot
hisThando"
Thando:"
Ifai
ltounder
standsi
stheguyki
sst
he
groundyouwalkon.May bet
here'
san
explanat
ion"
Me:"
There'
snoexplanat
iont
hatwil
lhealmy
br
okenheartandundothedamage.I'
m
pr
egnantSqaloispr
egnantwhatki
ndofmess
i
sthi
s.Shehatemenowshewi shIr
eall
ydi
edI
al
sowishthattoo"
Thando:"
Comeonsi sdon'tt
alkli
kethatplease
I'
m beggi
ngy ou.Sqaloisbeingunfai
ryesI
underst
andshei salsohurti
ngbutshehav eto
contr
olhersel
fcozwor dscannev erbetaken
back.ButiPKplayedyoubot hwhycan'tshesee
that"
Me:
"I
thurtThandoIdon'
tknowwhatt
odo.I
wi
shall
ofthistobeaterr
ibl
edr
eam"
Thando:
"I
'm sor
ryIcantt
akeawaythepainyou
feel
i
nganditshurttoseeyouinpai
n"Ipul
led
herbackandwipedhertears
Me:"
I'
m sorr
yIdidn'
tmeant
ohur
tyou.I
'
mfi
ne
nowdon'tworr
yokay"
Thando:"
Youdon'tneedtobest rongyouar e
al
sohumanandy ouhurt
.Crypl easeletitallout
.
CryslayQueen"Sheopenedt hetapsIl etouta
l
oudsobl i
kesomeonedi editreall
yfeltli
ke
someonedi ed,
myheartdied.Icriedunt i
lIfal
l
asleeponthecouch.Iwaswokenupbymy
growli
ngstomachIopenedmyswol l
eney es.
Igotupandt ookt henotefr
om theglasstabl
e
:"TookLamiforicecream hewantedt owake
youupandIwant edyoutorestcall
mewhen
youwakeupIwi llcomeback.Lov eyou"Istood
upandsatont hewheel chai
rthenwheeled
my sel
ftot
hekitchenwher eItookahugesl i
ce
ofbaroneandaf orkt
henwentbackt othe
l
ounge.Iswit
chedont hetvandatemycake.
Ismel
l
edhisscentbefor
el ooki
ngupathi
m.He
wasbrui
sedal
loverhisfaceevenhi
slef
teye
wasswoll
enandhalfhooded.
Me:"Youcamet otellmetopackmyr agsand
l
eavey ourhouse.Youwil
lhavetowaitkebuti
cozIm sti
llf
eedingyourt
wins"Hesmi l
edali
tt
le
Ishothim alookhecamet ositnextt
ome
PK:
"BabyI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"Okay
"
PK:
"Babypl
easel
etmeexpl
ain"
Me:
"Expl
ainwhatPKhuh?Thaty
oumademea
sidechick.Thanky ounowIknowhowl owyou
thinkofme.It houghtIwasy ourone,your
Queen, yourKitKat,
themot herofyourbabi
es,
yourwife..
."Icouldn'
tfi
nishIburstint
oasob
PK:"Ofcour sey ouar ebaby .I '
m sor r
yIknowI
don'tdeser vey ou.I'
mr eall
ysor ryIshoul dhav e
explainedt oyouf rom t hewor dgobutIwas
scaredofl osingy ouKi tKat .Itwasay earand
mont hssi nceSqal oandIbei ngt oget herwhen
youandImet .Thef irsttimeIf allconnect i
on
withy ouitwaswhenwesl eptt oget herf orthe
fi
rsttime.Tomei tfeltsospeci al yett oy ouit
wasj ustaf uck.Iev enaskedmy selfthatwasI
attr
act edtoy ouori tsbecausey ougav eme
somet hingIwasntget ti
ngf r om Sqal oandt he
answert othatisthatIwasat t
ract edt oy ou.I
fal
lfory ouMaBhebheov erandov ernomat t
er
howIt ri
edt osuppr essmyf eel ingsf ory ouI
couldn't.I'
m sor r
yIwasnev erhonestwi t
hy ou.
Phuml awasr ightandt hepi ct uresheshowed
youitwasmeandSqal oI '
m sor rybaby "
Me: "Wowj ustwowy oudeni edPKandmademe
believeallthatwasjustabi gli
e.Howcoul dyou
playmel i
ket hi
swheny ouknowwhatIhav e
beent hrough.Youknowwhathur tmePKbut
youchoset oupgradet hepainMzwakheputme
through.Whydi dyoubegmet ol
ovey ouifyou
knewy ougonnast omponmyhear tlikeI'
m no
human.Whydi dyoumademet otr
usty ouand
makey oumyoxy genify ouknewyouwi llbr
eak
mel i
kethis.Howcany oubesocal l
ous? "
PK:"I
'm sorrymyloveIknowIhur tyousobad
andIhat emy sel
fforthatbutitsdoesn'
tchange
thewayIf eelaboutyou.Ilovey ousomuchI '
m
nothingwithoutyouwoman.Pl easefor
givemy
cowar dnessIshouldhavecamecl eanbutIwas
scaredt oloseyou.
"Tearsf al
lonhisface
Me:"Whatthediff
erentnowcozst i
llyougonna
l
oseme.May beItwouldhav ebeenbetteri
fyou
tol
dmet hetruthbeforealloft
hishappened.
Looknowbot hmysi sterandIarepregnant
wit
hy ourbabies"
PK:
"I
'm sososor
ry"Her
eachedf
ormyhands
Me:"Don'tt
ouchme!"Ihissed"
YoubrokemePK
youwer esupposetohealmebutyoubrokeme
fur
ther.All
thi
stimeIwasapawni nyourgame
ofli
es!"
PK:
"That
'
snott
ruebaby
.Il
ovey
ouIr
eal
l
ydo.
..
."
Me:"That'
swhyy ounev erint
roducedmet oyour
parents,
Isthatwhyy oudidn'twantmetocome
toyoursister
'sf
uneralcozy ourfamil
yknow
Sqaloasy ourgi
rl
fr
iend? "
PK:"Thet hingi sSqalo'
sf atherandmydadar e
fri
ends.Myf amil
yisr i
chbecauseoft hatman
andmyf atherdidn'
twantmet osabotagemy
rel
ationshi pwi t
hKuhl ecozherf atherwilltake
everythingf r
om us.Hewentf arasthreatening
totakeev erythi
ngfrom meIcoul dn'
tlethim do
thatwhi leIhav eyouandt hekidstocar eof .
Ther easonwhyIwasi nCapeTownIwas
meet ingapot enti
ali
nv estorIwantt ostartmy
owncompanyI 'mtir
edt obecont roll
edbymy
f
ather
.Imr
eal
l
ysor
rybaby"
Me:"
Soyout
ell
i
ngmey ourrel
ati
onshi
pwi
th
Sqal
oist
okeepyourf
atherhappy"
PK:
"Par
tl
yyes"
Me:"
WhatdoesthatsupposetomeanPKdo
youl
oveherornot?
"Heswal l
owedhar
d
PK:
"YesIl
oveherbut
..
."Icuthi
m of
f
Me:
"Asmuchthi
sisyourhousebutIwoul
dli
ke
t
oaskyoutol
eave"
PK:"
Thisisyourhousebaby .I'
m sorr
ybutIlove
youmor eokay.Youoccupyabi ggerspacein
myheart.I'
m sorr
yf orthepainIputyouthr
ough
mybaby .I
twasnev ermyintent
iontohurtyou
l
ikethi
s.Pleaseforgiveme"Hecuppedmyf ace
Me:"Isai
ddon'ttouchme!"Islappedhisarms
"Gotoherandl eavemealone.Shel oveyouand
sheisreal
lyhurt.Sheev
enwi shIr eal
l
ydied.I
alsowishIdied.Nohumanbei ngcanendur e
suchpain.JustwhenIthoughtIf oundmy
f
amilyandI'
m alsoexpecti
ngtwosoul
sfr
om
t
hemanIl ove,
li
kenjeev er
ythi
ngi
sgoodyou
t
urnedall
ofthatint
omi ser
y"
PK:"I
mr eall
ysor rybaby "Hesni f
fedawayhi s
mucus" Pleasef orgiv
emeI '
m beggi ngy ou.
Howdoy ouexpectmet olivewithouty ouwhen
youhav ebecomemyoxy gen"Hebur i
edhi s
faceonmybr eastandcr i
ed.Ihesitatetohol d
him Idon'
tknowwhydi dithur ttoseehi m
brokenli
ket hisaf t
erwhathedi dtome." I
'm
sorryKhethokuhl e"Hepul l
edbackandl ooked
atmehi sfacewaswetwi t
ht ears"I
'm deepl y
sorryfr
om thedept hofmyhear tpleasef orgi
ve
me"Hel ooki ntomyey esandi nchedcl oserfor
akiss.Iwant edsobadnott or espondbutmy
mind,mybodyandmyhear tfail
edme.Ipushed
him assoonasIcamebackt omysenses
Me:"Whyareyoudoi ngthi
stome!Whyi t
'sso
hardtoresi
styou?Whyar ey oudebil
it
ati
ngmy
mindandmybody .Ishouldhateyoubastard
forwhatyoudidtome! !Ihat
ey outhatIsti
l
l
fucki
ngloveyouwithmybr okenheart
!!Pl
ease
l
eav emealonePKj ustgo.Youbr okeme!You
toremyheartint
ounr epai
rablepi
ecesIwill
neverfor
giveyouforthis!
!"
PK:
"Baby
..
."
Me:
"Isai
dGo!
!!
"
PK:"
Sthandwasami
"Het
ri
edt
ohugmeI
pushedhim
Me:"LeavePK!!"Icr
iedmyemot i
onswere
uncontr
oll
ableItooktheforkandstabbedhi
m
onhisshoulderhegroanedinpain."Yousee
whatyoumademet odo!"Isobbed
PK:
"Ngi
yaxol
i
sast
handwasami
"
Me:
"Leav
epl
ease"Hi
sphoner
anghei
gnor
edi
t
"
Answery
ourphoneandl
eav
e!"
PK:"Sihl
e..
.what..
..
I'
m coming"Hehungup
"Sqaloisbeingrushedtothehospi
talsheis
bleedingpleaseall
owmet ogot othehospi
tal
baby "
Me: "Didn'tIsayl eave!!
"Heki ssedmyf orehead
andst oodupt henhewal kedoutl eavi
ngme
cryingi nagony .Godwhyme?Whatdi dIdot o
all
owpai nuponmyl i
fe?Thepl atefall
downand
brokei ntopi eces.Icoul dn'
ttakethepai nI
wheel edmy selftoPK' scellarItookoneofhi s
whiskeyandgl asst henwentbackt othel ounge.
Ipour edmy selfagl assofwhi skeyandgul pedit
alldownwi thgr imaceonmyf ace.Ipour eda
second, thi
rdandf ort
h.Iwasget t
ingdr unkby
eachgl assbutt hepai nwasst illt
hesame.I
wast oodesper ateforittocomei ntoahal t.I
tookt hepi eceofgl assoft hepl at
eont hefloor
andcutmywr ist.
"
Katwhatt
hef uckarey
oudoing!"Hecamet
o
meandsnatchedthepi
eceofglass
Me:
"Iwantt
hepai
ntoendTbosei
t'
stoomuch"
Tbose:
"Whatpain?Thandocall
edmenj eand
sai
dshei sbackwhat'sgoi
ngon"Isobbedhe
wenttofetchfi
rstai
dkit.Hewipedthecutand
bandagedmywr
ist
."Tal
ktome"
Me:"
Phakamani
"Iwentonandt
oldhi
m
bet
weensobs.
Tbose:
"Thatbast
ard!Wher
eishe?
"
Me:
"Heisatt
hehospi
tal
it'
slookl
i
keSqal
ois
l
osi
ngthebaby"
Tbose:"I
m sogoi
ngt ofuckhim uphowcould
hedot his!
!"Hepul
ledmei nhi sar
ms"I'
m sor
ry
I'
mr eal
lysorr
ySshh"Hest rokedmyback"You
arenotsupposetodrinkalcoholKaty
ouare
pregnant"
Me:"IknowIt
houghti
twi
llnumbthepai
n"He
pull
edbackandwipedof
fmyt ear
swit
hhis
thumbs
Tbose:
"It
sbr
eakmyheartt
oseeyouhur
tli
ke
thi
s.Aski
esbr
a"Heki
ssedmyfor
ehead
Me:
"Iwasaf
ool
agai
n!"
Tbose:
"NomanPKi sthefoolnott
oseehow
muchdoy ouwor
th.Shhh"Hepressedhi
s
for
eheadagainstmine"I'
m sor
ry"Inear
edmy
l
ipstohi
sandki ssedhim.Hepushedme" You
arehur
tandhear t
brokenKatyouarenot
thi
nki
ngstr
aight"
Me:"
Ineedt
hisTbosepl
easetakethi
spai
n
awayevenf
orfewhourspl
ease."
Tbose:
"But
..
"Ipr
essedmyl
i
psonhi
s
Me: "Pl
easeI'
m beggi
ngy ouman.Makeme
forgetaboutthi
spainjustforamoment"I
whi sper
edbetweentheki ss.Hepul
l
edbackand
stoodupbef orepi
ckingmeup.Hewal kedupto
hisbedroom andgent l
ylaidmeonthebedthen
hegotont opofme.
Tbose:
"Areyousur
eaboutt
his"Inodded
desper
atel
y.
Hesmashedhi sli
psonminewekisseddeepl
y
andpassi
onately
.Heli
psescapedmymout h
andwenttomynecksuckingithar
dand
ni
ppi
ngoni t
.
Bloodr ushedal lov ermybodyasIf elthim
growinghar dagai nstme.Heundr essedme
fi
rstbef oreundr essinghimself.Hest udiedmy
bodyhi sey esflaredwi thdesire.Hegav emy
breastasqueezebef or
epulli
ngoneni pple
betweenhi spinksof tli
ps,nippingandsucki ng
i
thar damoanescapedi nmymout hashegav e
attenti
ont ot heot hernippl
epinchingi tand
roll
inghi swar mt oungear oundi t
.
Hel i
psglideddownt omyst omachpl antingwet
kissesthatsendt ingl
ysensat i
onthroughmy
whol ebody.Hemadei tdownt omymuf fand
breathoutloudl yhiswarm br eathagainstmy
nunsendshi versonmybody .Henuzzl ed
againstmyki ttygivi
ngitlong, slowlicksI
moanedouthi snamegr aspinghi sdreadlocks.
Wav esofpl easureroll
edov ermeashewent
deeperanddeeperIwascl oset omyor gasm he
stoppedIf l
inchedmyf i
stswi thanger.Iheard
him chuckli
ngashecr awl ont opofme." You
tasterealgood"Hesai dwi thav el
vetvoicehis
eyesbl oodredandhalfhooded.Hekissedme
passionlat
elyourt
oungesdanci ngwit
hr hythm.
Hegav emynunpl ay
fulsmakswi thhi
shuge
pulsi
ngmanhoodandf i
llmesosuddenl yI
screamedi nshockandpleasure.Hefeltso
war m andfull
Iwasexpectinghimt ost
ar t
mov ingbuthestil
l
ed.
Me:"Please"Iwhi spereddesper atelyhestared
mov ingslowl ybuildi
ngupt hespeedwhi lst
maki ngsur ehedoesn' thur tme.If elt
overwhel mingsensat ionengul fi
ngmybodyas
histhrustsgr ewdeeperandf ast ermakingmy
moanst urnintocries.Damnhewassof ucking
goodhepl ungedi ntomehar dermybodyj erked
backandf orthwiththest rengthofhi s
mov ementourmoi stskinsslappi ngtogether
l
usciousl y
.Pleasur erockedt hroughmybodyI
screamedl ouderasher aspedf iercel
y
Tbose:"
Ohfuckkk!
"Webot hreachourcli
maxat
thesamet i
me.Hefallontopofmebr eat
hing
heavi
lyli
kehewasr unni
ngamar at
hon.
"Damnnnnngi rl
!"Hesai
daf
tercat
chi
nghis
breathandkissedme.Ashewasaboutto
rol
leddownIgr abbedhi
sshimmeri
ngbody
againstmine
Me:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Tbose:
"It
hought
..
."Icuthi
m of
f
Me:"Wecangot hewhol
edayboy
"Ispankedhi
s
butthegroanedandki
ssedmewit
hsomuch
hunger.
[
06/
01,
14:
38]W:
51
PHAKAMANI
•
Icouldn'tsl
eepthewholenightwhenKatt old
met hatshewasshotandLami waskidnapped.
Iwant edtofl
y.Idi
dn'
treal
izehowmuchshe
havebeenneedi ngmeandIwasn' tavail
able.I
fel
treall
ybadIwassupposet obethereto
prot
ectt hem.
If
eltl
i
lkeaf
ail
urewhatki
ndofaf
atherIam
andwhatkindofaboyfriendIam.WhenI
arr
ivedIcal
l
edmybr othertofet
chmeatthe
ai
rportanddri
vemehomehewasn' tav
ail
abl
e
buthesendhisfr
iend.
Iwassohappyt obef i
nall
yhomel i
tt
ledidI
knowwhatwasi nst or
eforme.Icouldn't
preparemyselfforwhatIsaw.Thepai ninthei
r
eyeswhent heylearntIhavebeenplayi
ngt hem
ki
lledme.Tot opthingsKatisalsopregnant
andt heyar
esisters.
IknewIlostthem bothfr
om thatmomentand
mywor l
dwascr umbli
ng.Thepunchesthei
r
fat
herwast hrowingatmef el
tbet
tert
henthe
paini
nsi
deofmyhear t.
Inevermeanttobr eakt hei
rheartsIlov ethem
somuch.Hegr abbedmewi t
hmybal l
sand
shovedmeinsidetheboott hencl osethedoor .I
sai
dasmal lprayercozIknewt hatImi ghtnot
comebackaliv
e.Idon' tblamet hem Imessed
upbigti
meIdeser veev erypain.
Itwassuf f
ocat
inganddarkintheboot.
Iwas
sweat i
ng.Wegotontopoft he10t
hfloor
buil
dingwheretheywerekicki
ngmeand
punchingmeov erandover
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"Icr
iedi
nagony
MrSi
thol
eJuni or:
"It
rust
edyouPhakamaniwit
h
mydaughterandy oupromi
sedmey ouwon't
br
eakherheart!!
"
Me:
"I
mreal
l
ysor
ryMrSi
thol
e!"
MrSit
holeSenior:
"Hady
ounotcheatedy
ou
woul
dn'thavegotmygranddaught
ers
pr
egnant!
!"HekickedmeIcoughedandspat
bl
ood.
MrSit
holeJuni
orpulledmeupf r
om theground
andpushedmet otheedgeofthebuil
dingI
swearmyheartstoppedbeat
ing.Iwaswiggli
ng
i
ntheair
Me:
"Pleasedon'
tletmefal
lMrSit
holeIm sor
ryI
l
oveyourdaughters.I
'
mreal
lysor
ry"Icr
ied
beggi
nghim nott
oletgoofmyarm.Ilooked
downIfel
tdizzyt
hethoughtofmefall
i
ngdown
onthe10t
hfloorbui
ldi
ngtiedmyi
nsidesint
oa
knot.
MrSit
holeJuni
or:
"Gi
vemeoner
easonwhy
shoul
dntIl
etyoufal
l
"
Me:"
Yourgr
andchi
l
drendeser
vet
oknowt
hei
r
f
ather"
MrSi
thol
eJunior
:"
Howareyougoi
ngt
omend
mypr
incessesbr
okenhear
ts?
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lmar
ryt
hem bot
h!Pl
ease"
MrSi
thol
eJunior
:"Udaki
wey
oudon'
tdeser
ve
t
hem af
terwhatyoudid!
!
Me:"
Theylov
emef
atherandIl
ovethem t
oo.
Pl
easegiv
emeasecondchance"
MrSi t
holeSenior:
"Thegi
rl
slov
ehi m andIdon'
t
thi
nkeitherofthem wil
lwantl
etgoofhi m.
Ist
hembumi ghtnotbeabadthingifthey
approve"
Sit
holeJuni
orpull
edmeupt heybur
sti
nto
l
aughterwhentheysawmypant swetwi
thmy
pee.Ihi
dmyf acewi t
hmyhandsasshameand
embarrassmentengul
fedme.
MrSithol
eSeni or
:"
Nextti
meyoushi
tyoursel
f!"
Theylaughedandl ef
tmeontopofthebuil
ding
l
uckyIhav emyphonewi thmeIcal
l
edmy
brot
her'
sfriendtotakemetomyhouseto
fr
eshenupaf tert
hatIwentt
oKat'
shouse.
If oundherinadev ast ati
ngsi t
uat i
onandi t
brokemyhear t.Iexplainedt oher .Ifeltreall
y
badt obet hesour ceofhert ears.Lor dknows
howmuchdoIl oveher .Icouldn'thelpbutcr y.
Shewassohear t
brokenandangr ythatshe
stabbedmewi thaf or k.Igroanedi npai nt hat
whenIr ecei
vedacal lfrom Sihl
et ell
ingmet hat
Sqal oisinhealthycrises.Myhear tski ppeda
beatt hethoughtofherl osingthebabyki l
l
ed
meespeci al
lyknowi ngIwi llbet hecause.I
calledanuberandwentt othehospi tal.
Me:"
Sihl
e"Shewasseat
edont
hepr
ovi
ded
seat
scryi
ng
Sihl
e:"
Thi
sisallyourf
aultIswearifshel
ose
thebabyIwil
lkil
lyoumy sel
f!
!"TheSit
hol
e
Womenar ri
ved.MrsSithol
eJuniorwasal
ready
cryi
ng
MrsSit
holeJuni
or:
"Uyaybonaimi sebenzi
yakho!
!!
"(Thi
sisal
l y
ourdoings!)Sheslapped
mesohar dstar
scloudedmyv ision
Me:
"Ngi
cel
auxol
oMama"(
I'
m sor
ryMama)
MrSithol
eSenior
:"
Ifshedarelosethebabymy
boyyouwill
wishyounev ermetthem both!
"
Shesquashedmybal l
sIscreamedi nagonythe
doct
orcamet omyr escue
Mr
sSi
thol
eJuni
or:
"Ar
etheyokaydoc"
Doc:"
Yesbutwearestillr
unningsomet estt
o
fi
ndoutwhatledtothreatenedmiscar
ri
age"I
breat
hedoutofrel
ief
Me:
"Thanky
ouLor
d"
Si
hle:
"Canweseeher
"
Doc:"
Sheneedt
orestf
ami
l
ycomebackl
ater
t
onight"
Mr
sSi
thol
eSeni
or:
"Thanky
oudoc"
Me:"Excuseme"Iwentt othet oil
etandslid
agai
nstt hewallunt
ilmybut treachedthefloor
andcriedmyl ungsout.Thewal lswereclosing
i
nonmei tf
eltl
ikei
tstheendoft heworl
dbutI
gotmy selft
oblamet oallofthepai nt
hatwas
suff
ocatingme.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
MystubbornnessalwayscostmeIshouldhave
l
ist
enedtoDadandnotgoti nvol
vedwi
thIna
l
ooknowt here'
sababyi nvol
ve.HowcanIbein
arel
ati
onshipwithhim whenourfamil
i
esdoes
notappr
oveofus.
IknewI
twi
l
lhappenbutnowIcan'
thandl
eit
.I
missmyfatherandIdon'
twanttocausear
if
t
betweenafamil
yandason.Ilov
ehim somuch
towatchhi
m dot hat
.
Lor
dismywi t
nesshowmuchdoIl ovehim but
i
tobvi
ousthatwewill
neverwor k.I
twi
llbehard
tomoveonIwon'tl
iebutIthavetobedone.I
hav
ebeenmov edtoanotherroom.
Mystomachwasgr owli
ngandImissedmyson
somuch..JustthenInawalkedi
nwithSbonga
i
nhisarmsandast eer
spaperbag.Ahmany ou
seewhyIlovethisguy.
Idoubtthewil
leverbesomeonewhocanl ove
melikeI
nadoes.Hei sev
er y
thingandmor
eI
wantinaguy.I
t'
ssosadt hatourfamil
i
escan'
t
seewhatatremendousrelati
onshi
pwehave.
Sbonga:
"Mommy
!!
"hescr
eamedexci
tedl
y
Me:
"Baby
!!
"Hegavemehi
m.Isqueezedhi
min
myarmsfordearl
i
fe
Sbonga:
"Youst
rangl
i
ngmeMama"Ihear
dIna
chuckl
i
ng
Me:
"I
'm sor
rymyboyImi
ssy
ousomuch"
Sbonga:
"Imi
ssy
outoo.
..
Gogowant
edt
ogo
wit
hmeMommy "
Il
ookedatI
na
I
na:
"Isor
therout
"
Me:
"Thatwomanweagr
eedmosonv
isi
tat
ion
t
erms"
I
na:
"Shel
i
ket
ocausechaos.Her
ecal
lmewhen
y
ouneedme"Hegavememyphone
Me:
"Ar
eyounotst
ayi
ngwi
thus"
I
na:
"Forwhatgoodr
eason"Isi
ghed
Me:
"I
naIdi
dn'
tsayweshoul
dbeenemi
es"
I
na:
"Wear
enotenemi
es"Het
urnedt
oleav
e
Me:
"I
na"
I
na:"
Whatdoyouwantf
rom meKonkehuh?I
'
m
gi
vi
ngyouwhatyouwant.Theonl
ythi
ngt
hat
connectusar
etheki
ds"Wi
tht
hathewal
ked
out.
If
eltst
ingi
ngt
ear
s.
Sbonga:
"LeteatMama"
Me:"
Okaymyboy"Myappetit
ewasnomoreI
wantedt
owaill
oudbutIcoul
dn'
tbr
ingmy
sel
f
t
ocryinfr
ontofmyson.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Icouldfeelsomeone'sgazeasIwassl eepi ng,
aft
erthatlongsexheal i
ngsessionwef all
asl
eep.Wel li
tdidn'
treall
yhealedmebutf or
hoursIforgetaboutthepaininmyhear t.Itwas
sowr ongIknowbutl et'
smov eonwi t
hl i
fe.
Dwelli
ngoni twon'tundoany t
hingcozhonest l
y
speakingIreal
lyenjoyedmy sel
f.
NowKatorshoul
dIsayIssyit'
sti
metofocus.I
knowI
tshur
tandy ouwon'thealt
odayor
tomorr
owbutev entuall
yyouwil
l.Youar e
str
ongthenyouthinkandy ouhavebeen
thr
oughalotal
readyt hi
stooshallpass.St
op
giv
ingguyssomuchpoweri nyourli
fe.
Don'tall
owt hem tot akeov eryourli
fethatt hey
i
nf l
uenceev erydecisiony oumakeabouty our
l
ife.Yout ri
edt ogivet hem y ourheartbutt hey
choset otoreitapart.Don' tbreakapar tr
iseup
l
ittl
emama.Nowi t'
st imef ory ou,yourson,
unbornbabi es,yourlit
tlesisterandofcour se
forbuil
dingar elat
ionshi pwi thyourfamily.They
gotsomuchl ov etogi veyou, youdon'tneeda
guyt obeiny ourli
fet ofeel love.
Youtri
edbutl ovef ai
ledyoupl easedon'tleti
t
destr
oyy ou,changet hesightofwhoy ouar e
cozattheendoft hedayt hi
si syourli
fe,your
j
ourneyandy ouwi llwalkitalone.Youhav ekids
now responsibil
i
tyi saddi
ngwhi chmeansmor e
wiserdecisi
onsneedt obet aken.Thebestt o
doismar ryyourkidsbydoi ngt hatyouwi l
l
al
way shav epeacei nyourli
f e.Stopcr
y i
ngnow
y
ouhav
ecr
iedal
otandi
t'
snotl
i
kei
tshel
ping.
Iopenedmyey
eswhi
chmetTbose'
ssmi
l
ey
face.
Me:
"Dudest
ari
ngi
srude"
Tbose:
"Hai
boIwasn'
tst
ari
ngaty
ou"
Me:
"Yesy
ouwer
e"
Tbose:
"WakeupIr
any
ouabat
hI'
mtaki
ngy
ou
tothedoct
or"
Me:
"Doct
or?
"
Tbose:"
Yestochecki
fthemunchki
nsar
eokay
aft
erthatsessi
onandalcohol
wehavet
obe
sure"
Me:"
Theset
woar est
rongl
i
kemommyt
heyar
e
f
inedon'
tst
ress"
Tbose:
"I
'm nott
aki
ngchancesKatwakeup
pl
ease"
Me:"
GodI'
m solazyr
ightnow.Mom hav
ebeen
bat
hingmethatIhav
ebecomel azyt
odoit
my
sel
f"
Tbose:
"Thati
ssosweetI
'
mreal
l
yhappyf
ory
ou
man.Theylovey
ou"
Me:"Ilov
ethem tooal
lofthem t
heyar
ealovel
y
familyevenSqal
oisagrandpersonbutI
'm
afr
aidwhattranspi
redwil
lcausebadbl
ood
betweenus"
Tbose:
"Youguy smustn'tall
owthatPKplayed
youbothcomfor toneanother,
li
ckSqalo'
s
woundandshemustdot hesamet oyou.PK
doesn'
tdeser
v ebothofy ou.Howcanhepl ay
youguysforyearswhatwashehopi ngvel
e?
Whenwashegoi ngtocomecl eanaboutthis?
"
Me:"I
t'
snotgonnabeeasyasy
ousaySqal
o
al
readybl
amemef orthi
s"
Tbose:
"Sheishur
tbutsheneedt othi
nkclear
ly
coztr
uthisyoutwoarehurti
ngbecauseofone
guyandyouarebothpregnant.MinaIsayboth
ofyoumustleavehi
m butdon'tcuthi
m outof
hi
sbabiesli
fe.
"
Me:"WellminathatwhatI'
m planni
ngt odo.I
wil
ltakeiteasydaybydayunt i
lheisoutofmy
heart
.I'
m donewi thguysbul
lshiti
tsenough
now.Imanagedt ogetoverMzwakheIwi l
lal
so
getoverPK"Iblinkedbackmyt ears
Tbose:
"I
t'
sforthebestman.TothinkItr
ust
ed
hi
m wit
hy ouI'
mr eall
ydi
sappoi
ntedri
ghtnow.
Howcouldhedot his"
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sandsmi
l
ed
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbef
ine,
Igot
tabef
ine"
Tbose:
"Iknowy
ouwi
l
lnowgetupl
et'
sgety
ou
bat
hed"
Me:
"NomanIwillbat
hmysel
fbutgi
veme10
mi
nutesIwantt
osleepal
it
tl
e"
Tbose:
"Ial
readymadeanappoi
ntmentwi
th
Thi
za"
Thi
zaisoneofhisdoctorf
ri
endwhohappened
tobet
heonewhohel peduswit
hThandoand
Edwar
d'sDNAresul
t
Me: "
SpeakingofThizayouneedtof i
ndouthow
didEdwardcameoutwi thsuchstupi
dthing
thatheisinfer
til
e.Ineedtofi
ndmysi st
er'
s
fatherandmot hersothatshecanbehappyt oo
l
ikeme"
Tbose:
"Iwi
l
lwor
kont hataf
terIf
oundt
he
per
sonwhoshotyou.Nowgetup"
Me:"
Jesusy
ouwon'
tgi
ve.
..
."Thedoorbur
st
open
"Chomma..
..
."Fr
ozeLatoyaasshesawus
"Whatt
hefuckisthi
s!!
"Sheeyebal
l
eduswit
h
hermouthwideopen
Me:"Whogaveyoutheri
ghttobargei
nmy
guestr
oom wi
thoutaknockLatoy
a!!
"
Latoya:"Thandotol
dmewhathappenedI
thoughtIshouldcomeandcomfortyouonlyto
fi
ndt hisnonsense.Howcany
ouguy sdothist
o
yum y um!!"
Tbose:
"Don'
tshoutatuswear
enoty
ourki
ds!
"
Latoya:"
WowIcan' tbeliev
eyouguys.Yum y
um
doesn'tdeserv
et hi
s!!Yeshemessedupbut
comeonguy s!!Howl onghavey
oubeen
fucki
ng? "
Tbose:
"I
t'
snoneofy
ourbusi
nessj
ustgetout
man!"
Lat
oya:
"Reall
yKat
?It
houghtwear efr
iendshow
canyousleepwi
thmyexboyfr
iend!!
"
Me:
"Hai
boy
ouar
emar
ri
edwhatwi
thy
ou?
"
Latoya:
"Wear ef
riendsKatandf ri
endsdon'
t
backstabeachother.MarriedornotTboseis
myexboy fri
endy oushouldn'thav
efuckedhi
m!
Nowi tsmakesensewhyy ouwer esoangryyou
wantedhimf oryoursel
f!Yousuchabi t
chyou
know!"
Me:"
Takeonet
oknowonef
uckof
fmyhouse
Lat
oya!
!"
Latoy
a:"
I'
m goi
ngtot
ell
PKaboutal
loft
his.He
doesn'
tdeser
veyouKat
.WenaTbosewhatkind
ofaf ri
endar ey ou?Howcoul dyoufucky our
fr
iend'sbr okenheartgir
lfr
iend.I
nsteadof
comf ort
inghery oufuckhersiesy oudisgust
mebot hofy ou!!"Shestormedoutt hatwhenI
noticedThandoandLami werestandingbehind
her.Thel ookThandogav emewasf ul
lof
di
sgust
Thando:"Thenyouexpectmetonotl
ose
respectforyouwhenyouareact
ingl
i
keahor
ny
slutncncnc"
Me:"
Icanexpl
ainTha...
."Shewalkedoutwi
th
Lamimyheartclenched."Whathavewedone
Tbose"
Tbose:
"Thandowi
l
lcomear
ounddon'
twor
ry"
Me:"I
mt al
ki
ngaboutLat oya,PKcan'tfi
ndout
Tboseitwil
lki
ll
him andcausebadbl ood
betweenthetwoofy ou.Idon'twantthatheis
thefat
herofmybabi esyouar etheuncleIwant
youguystogetalong"Igroanedi nf
rustrat
ion
Tbose:
"Don'
twor
ryhewon'
tfi
ndoutIwi
l
lmake
sur
e"
Me:"
Thisonetoowassupposetobeaonewe
t
aketoourgrav esbutnow.
.OMG!
"Ipoppedmy
f
inger
sfrust
ratedly
Tbose:
"Heyhey"Hesqueezedmyhand" PK
won'tf
indoutokaydon'
tst
ress.Iwi
l
ltakecar
e
ofToya"
Me:"
HayiTbosenonoI'
m sureyouar
enot
say
ingwhatIthi
nkyouaresayi
ng"
Tbose:
"Shewil
llear
ntomindherownbusi
ness.
Sheisbusyact
ingsaintwhi
l
esheplay
edme!!"
Me:"
Idon'
twantanymor
ebl
oodi
nmyhands
Tbose"
Tbose:
"Don'
twor
ry.
..
"
Me:"
Nopleasedon'
tdothat
.Idon'
twantherto
di
epleasefi
ndanot
herwaytokeephershut"
Tbose:
"Okayke"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Tbose:"
YouknowIcandoany
thi
ngf
ory
ou
ri
ght"
Me:
"YeahandIappreci
ateyoumant
hanky
ou
somuch"Hekissedmyf or
ehead
Tbose:
"Nowl
et'
sgetupbef
orePKcomesback"
•
MZWAKHE
•
HowDoIBr
eat
hebyMar
io
♪ ♪ ♪ HowdoIbr
eat
he,
yeah?
HowdoIbr
eat
he,
yeah?
I
tfeel
ssodi
ff
erentbei
ngher
e,
Iwassousedt
obei
ngnex
ttoy
ou,
Li
fef
ormei
snott
hesame,
Ther
e'snoonet
otur
nto
Idon'
tknowwhyIl
eti
tgot
oof
ar,
St
art
ingov
eri
t'
ssohar
d
Seemsl
i
keev
ery
wher
eIt
ryt
ogo,
Ikeept
hinki
ngofy
ou
Ij
usthadawakeupcal
l
,
Wi
shi
ngt
hatInev
erl
ety
ouf
all
,
Babyy
ouar
enott
obl
ameatal
l
RememberwhenIpushedy
ouaway
Babyi
fyouknewIcar
ed,
You'
dhav
enev
erwentnowher
e(nowher
e),
Gi
rlIshoul
d'
vebeenr
ightt
her
e
HowdoIbr
eat
he
Wi
thouty
ouher
ebymysi
de?
Howwi
l
lIsee
Wheny
ourl
ovebr
oughtmet
othel
i
ght
?
Wher
edoIgo
Wheny
ourhear
t'
swher
eIl
aymyhead?
Wheny
ou'
renotwi
thme,
HowdoIbr
eat
he?
HowdoIbr
eat
he?
Gi
rlI
'
mlosi
n'mymi
nd
YesImadeami
stake
It
houghtt
haty
ouwoul
dbemi
ne
Guesst
hej
okewasonme
Imi
ssy
ousobad,
Ican'
tsl
eep
Iwi
shIknewwher
eyoucoul
dbe
Anot
herdudei
srepl
aci
ngme,
Butt
hiscan'
tbehappeni
ng
Ij
usthadawakeupcal
l
,
Wi
shi
ngt
hatInev
erl
ety
ouf
all
,
Babyy
ouar
enott
obl
ameatal
l
RememberwhenIpushedy
ouaway
Babyi
fyouknewIcar
ed,
You'
dhav
enev
erwentnowher
e(nowher
e),
Gi
rlIshoul
d'
vebeenr
ightt
her
e
Ishoul
d'
vebr
oughtmyl
ovehomegi
rl
Babyi
ain'
tper
fecty
ouknow
Thegr
indi
ski
ndat
ightoh
Gi
rlcomebackt
ome
Causegi
rlumakei
thar
dtobr
eat
he
Wheny
ournotwi
tme
HowdoIbr
eat
he?
Wi
thouty
ouher
ebymysi
de?
Howwi
l
lIsee(
howwi
l
lIsee)
Whenyourl
ovebr
oughtmet
othel
i
ght(
baby
,
baby
)
Wher
edoIgo(
wher
edo)
Wheny
ourhear
t'
swher
eIl
aymyhead?
Wheny
ou'
renotwi
thme(
you'
renotwi
thme)
,
HowdoIbr
eat
he?(
howdoIbr
eat
he?
)
HowdoIbr
eat
he?
♪♪♪
Ifel
tmyf aceget
ti
ngdampwi t
htear
sasI
gazedatherpict
ureonmyphone.Shel ookso
beauti
ful
,sofl
awlessl
y.Shehasalwaysbeen
beauti
ful
,MeaganGoodki ndababy.
Sheisabeaut i
ful
gir
lIeverseenint
hisworl
d
andIwillev
ersee.Thewor dBEAUTYwas
for
medt hedayshewasbor nhermom should
havenamedherBUHLEBENDALOorNOBUHLE
eit
herwayKHETHOKUHLEi sstil
labeaut
if
ul
name.Shel ooksohappyohhowImi ssthat
smileofhers.
Imissev er
ythi
ngt
hatmaket hewholeofher.
Howcoul dIbesostupi
dhowcoul dIlethergo
l
ikethat.Howcoul
dImi str
eattheonl
yhuman
thathaveshowedmenot hi
ngbutlovewhenmy
ownf at
herfail
edt
odoso?
Shenevercar
edaboutwhatIhadorwhatIwear
.
Shehadachoicetol
eavemeandgot ori
ch
ni
ggasbutshechosetost
ayuntil
Imadethat
choi
ce.Shebel
i
evedt
hatt
oget
herwewi
l
lmake
i
t.
That'sakindawomananyguywanthowcoul d
Il
ethergo.Aftert
hepainIputherthr
oughwhat
didIachiev
e?Couldn'
tIwai
tformyt i
meto
succeed?Ichosemoneyandt hethi
ngsmoney
doov erher
.
Iwasn'tr eadyforherIdidn'
tdeser
veherItr
uly
wasn'
tr eadyf orherbutnowIam Ihavecome
toarealisati
on.Iscrol
ledtothenextphot
oI
coul
dn'tbel i
evemyey esami nimewasst ar
ing
ri
ghtbackatmewi thahugecutesmile.
CAPTION: MYKI NGILOVEYOUSON
Ithoughtsheabortedthebabyjustl
ikeItol
d
hertoohwowmySONIhav eaSONIgot tafi
nd
them andapologi
seyesshewillfor
giveme.I
l
aiddownwi thmybackf aci
ngthezincsthat
haveholeseverywher
e.
YesI
'
m backtomyshackIwashappyt
ofi
ndit
i
nonepi
ece.Ipl
acedt
hephoneonmychest
andimagi
nemy sel
f,Katandoursonl
eav
inga
happi
lyev
eraf
ter.
•
THABSI
LE
•
Iwassitti
ngtherelisteni
ngt omelancholic
beepingsoundoft hehospi talmachineast ear
s
fl
owdownmyf ace."Izonozobabazowel a
kubantwanababo"I ndeedmysoni ssuffer
ing
becauseofmyi mmor ali
ty.Iunderstandwhy
Nkosydoesn'tbeli
ev emet hatKhwezi i
shisson
evenIhismom nev erknewunt il
hest art
ed
gett
ingsick.Al
lthistimeIt houghthei s
Sphiwe'sson.
Sphiweismynowexboy fri
endwhowas
Nkosy '
sroommat e.Nkosyfoundusmaki ngout
thathowourr elat
ionshi
pendedandhemov ed
outfrom resandf oundhisapartment.Henever
deservedmef rom thefi
rstplace.Iusetobeto
partyaloty ouknowhowv arsi
tyli
feand
fr
eedom getintoyourheadespeci all
ywhen
yourparent
sar eGodf ear
ingpeople.Whi l
ey ou
areunderthei
rguidanceathomey ouhav et o
behavewellandsetagoodexampl eas"ingane
kaBab'mfundisiandMam' mf undi
si"It
'sdraini
ng
I'
mt el
l
ingyout henwheny ouf i
nal
lygot
fr
eedom tobeony ourowny oubecomeov er
exci
tedanddot hi
ngsrecklessl
y.
Whenmypar ent
sfoundoutIwaspr egnantthey
disownedme.Wher e'sGodi nwhattheydidI
don'tt
hinkGodcanappr oveofthi
s.Wear e
peopleandwear eboundt omakemi st
akes
thathowwel ear
ninlife.I
fGodforgiveoursins
whoar etheynottoforgiv
e.Iwasyoung,
reckl
essandnaïve.Tot hi
nkMamaf all
pregnant
withmybr ot
herattheageof14sheshoul d
knowbet t
ermxm.
BacktothepresentdayIkissedhisti
nyhands
andsqueezedit.Whathurtthemosti sthathe
won'
tgethelpheneedi nthishospit
al.Thedoor
swungopen.Hewal kedincaringball
oons
wr
it
tengetwel
lsoon.
Ti
ger
:"
Hel
l
o"
Me:
"Hey
"
Ti
ger
:"
Howi
she"
Me:
"Hei
sst
il
lthesame"Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Ti
ger:
"Hadyounotmessuphewoul
dn'
tbel
yi
ng
onthi
shospit
albed"
Me:"
Real
lynowwhatwasIsupposetodoI
coul
dn'
tri
skshowingmyf
acethereIhadt
ofi
nd
someonetodoit
"
Ti
ger
:"
Ithoughty
ouwantt
hatboybacki
nyour
l
if
e"
Me:"Ofcour
sedoy outhi
nkifhesawmehe
wouldtakemeback?Don'tbestupi
dTigerwe
havetobesubtl
eaboutthis.Wenayoudon'
t
careaboutwhatIwantyouonlycar
eaboutyour
rev
enge!!
"
Ti
ger
:"
Don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme!
"
Me:
"I
m sor
ry"Icantav
oidtomakehim angryhe
i
smysourceofincomer i
ghtnowunt
ilI
'm abl
e
t
ogetbackmyNkosy ,r
ightwher
ehebelong.
Ti
ger
:"
Thatboyiscl
evert
henIthoughtheasked
aPIt
ofindoutwhowantedtokil
lthatbi
tch.
"
Me:"Itol
dyouthatst
opunder
mini
ngNkosyhe
i
sv erysmartandhecomesfr
om awel
l
connected,
wealthyf
amil
y.
"
Ti
ger:
"Hemightbesmartbutexper
iencecount
I
'm wayol
derthenhi
m."Hesmi r
ked
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouhav
einmi
ndnow"
Tiger
:"
Indodaenomndenii
ndoda
ongayethemba"(af
amil
ymani sal
way
s
tr
ustworthy)
Me:"Youplanningt
ouseNkosy'
sfamil
yint
othi
s?
NonoTi gerthatabadi
deayouwill
messup
t
hingsforme"
Tiger
:"
Thabi
eThabi
emydearI'
m nott
alki
ng
aboutNkosy'
sfami
l
yI'
mtal
kingaboutt
hatPI'
s
f
ami
l
y"
Me:"Mmmht hatagoodplan.IhopeNkosy
won'tf
indouthisphoneandKonke'shousei
s
bugged.Heistoosmartthatboy"
Ti
ger:
"Hewon'ti
fthePIgi
vehi
m wr
ong
i
nfor
mation.
"
Me:"
GoodIcan'
twai
tforever
ythi
ngt
ofal
linto
pl
ace.I
t'
sdr
aini
ngmet oseemysonli
kethis"
Tiger:
"Don'
twor
rysoony ou,Khweziandthat
boywi l
lbeahappyfamil
y "Hekissedmy
forehead"Mywif
eisvisi
tingherparent
stoday"
Me:
"Mmmhwhatdoy
ouhav
einmi
ndMr
"
Ti
ger
:"
Let
'sgotomyplaceIwi
ll
showy ou"He
bi
temyearl
obemaki
ngmet ogiggl
edsoft
ly.

[
06/
01,
14:
38]W:
52
THABSI
LE
•
"Youarehotgirl
!"Hesaidpantingaf
terarough
fuck.Idon'
tthi
nkTigerknowt hemeanof
romanticsex.Heisalwaysroughand
aggressiv
emyhoney potisalwaysburningaf
ter
thedeed.Someday sIstruggl
et owalk.I
wonderhei sli
kethi
swithhiswi f
e?
Me:"Thatwasamazi ng"Il
i
edsexwi t
hTigeri
s
neveramazing.Rough+Aggressi
ve+Huge
Anaconda=I'm sur
ey ougetwhatI'
m sayi
ng.
Ti
ger:
"Ishoul
dmakeyoumysecondwi
fewena"
HejokedI'
m sur
ecozmenev
erbabawuuhI'
d
di
e
Me:
"I
'm Mr
sSi
thol
etobemi
na"
Ti
ger
:"
Whatdoy
oul
ovei
nthatboy
?"
Me:"Every
thi
ng.Heishot,
sexy,buf
fy,t
all
,wit
ty,
smar t
,Icancountall
goodthi
ngsplushei st
he
fat
herofmyson. .
.Youhavenevert
oldmewhy
doyouwantt otakedownKonke.Thatbitch
seem harmless"
Ti
ger
:"
Sheki
l
ledmybr
other
"
Me:
"Yourbr
other
?"
Tiger
:"
Yeahsincey
oufail
toki
l
lherwehaveto
comeupwi thanot
herpl
an.Wehavet
ohither
whereithur
tthemost"
Me:"
NonoTigerI
'm amot
herIwoul
dn'
twant
any
thingt
ohappentomyson"
Ti
ger
:"
WhydoyouthinkIhav
enoki
ds.Ki
dsar
e
ev
ery
body
'sweakness"
Me:"
Ihaveaplanitwi
l
ldoforbot
hofus.I'
dget
cl
osertoNkosyandwhichmeanIgetcl
osert
o
Sbongatoo.
"
Ti
ger
:"
I'
mli
steni
ng"
Me:
"Hi
tmenow"
Ti
ger
:"
Huh"
Me:
"Punchme!"Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
edhe
i
scl
everthi
sone
Ti
ger
:"
Clev
ersl
ut"Wegotup.HepunchedmeI
scr
eamedi
nagony
Me:"Again"Hepunchedmeagain.Iwenttothe
bathroom tof
reshenupthenIwalkedbackt
o
thebedroom.Tigerwasgluedonhislapt
op
Tiger
:"
Hei satKonke'
spl
acenowt
hatwher
e
youwillf
indhim"
Me:
"Okayby
e"
Tiger:
"Don'
tIgetakissfi
rst
"Iki
ssedhimthen
l
ef tt
oKonke'shouse.Iwasexpecti
ngthe
nannyt oopenthedoorbutNkosyopenedit
.I
cri
edt hemomentheopenedi t
Nkosy
:"Thabsi
l
ewhati
swr
ong"
Me:
"He.
.he.
.hi
tme"Ithrewmy sel
finhi
sar
ms.
Atf
ir
sthehesit
atedbutIhel
donhi m
Nkosy:"
Whohi ty
ou"Iwail
edlouder"
Sshhdon't
cryi
tsgoingtobeokay"ThattheNkosyIknow
al
way scari
ngandIknowhowhehat eabusers.
Ihavetocomeupwi thabigbomb
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Itr
ustTboseIknowhewill
dealwithToy
ato
keepherbigmouthshut
.TboseisoneguyIcan
tr
ustweshareabigsecr
etthatwil
lal
waysbind
ustoget
her.
Heismyr i
deordiehealwayshavemyback
andIhavehis.Hehaveal
waysbeent hefi
rstt
o
bewithmewhenev erI
mi ncr
ises.Heisagrand
uncl
etomyki ds.
Ilovehim somuchdon'tlookatmel i
ket
hatI
l
ov ehim morethenaboyfri
endIlov
ehim asa
brotheryeswefuckedanditwaswr ongI
acknowledgethatsopleasegiv
emeabr eaktu.
Iwashur ti
ngandhehappenedtobet her
eas
alwaysandImustsayIthel
pedmecozIcame
toareali
zati
onthatguy
sarejustdogsi-
msoon
nje.
PKandMzwakhenev
erdeser
vedmei
nfactno
guydeser
veme.I'
m donewi
threlat
ionshi
pnow
bef
oreIdi
eofheart
acheataveryyoungage.
Myki dsst i
llneedmeandIst il
lhavet
omake
music.AfterIfini
shedbathingTbosetookme
tot
hedoct orandhesaidthere'
snothi
ngwr ong
andtheot hertwin'
sheartisgett
ingst
rongerbut
hewar nedt oneverdri
nkagain.
HealsochangedmybandagesImustsaythe
woundsaregett
ingbet
ter
.Tboseboughtme
chocol
atesi
nceIwascravi
ngfori
tontheway
home.
Hedr oppedmeof fathomeandl eftheis
adamantt ofi
ndtot heguythatshootmeandI
feelsorr
yforhim cozTbosei soutforki
l
li
ng.I
foundThandocooki nginthekit
chenandLami
waspl ayi
ngwithhiscar.
Lami:
"Mamayoubackwhatdi
dyoubr
oughtf
or
me?"Hesai
dcomingtome
Me:
"Chocol
atehere"whenhewasaboutt
o
t
akeitIpul
l
editback
Lami
:
"Mommy
"Hewhi
ned
Me:
"Whatar
erul
es"
Lami
:
"Nochewi
ng"
Me:
"Because?
"
Lami
:
"Azobol
aamazi
nyowami
"
Me:
"Take"Het
ooki
t.
Thando:"
Yourf
atheri
sinthelounge"Shesai
d
socoldl
yIdeci
dedtodeal wi
thherlat
er.I
wheeledmysel
ftothelounge.
Me:
"Dad"
Dad:
"Heyl
i
ttl
eangel
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng"
Me:
"I
'mt
ryi
ng"
Dad:"
Ifeel
real
l
ybadaboutt
hisIf
ail
edy
ouand
yoursi
ster
"
Me:
"That
'snott
ruef
athery
oudi
dntdoany
thi
ng
wr
ong"
Dad:
"I
fonl
yInot
icedt
hatt
hebabywebur
ied
wasnotyounonofthi
swouldhav
ehappened.
I
'mreal
lysorrymychi
l
dfort
hepainy
ouare
goi
ngthrough"
Me:"Don'tblameyourselfPKwassupposet obe
honestaboutallofthi
sf rom thewor dgo.I
sweardaddyIdi dn'
tknowt hathehav ea
gi
rl
friendandhenev ertoldme.Sqal ohat
eme
andI...
"Ibursti
ntotears.Hest oodupand
pi
ckedmeupf r
om thewheel chairthenhesat
downpl acingmeonhi slaps.Ibur i
edmyhead
onhisneck
Dad:"
Sshdon'
tcr
ybaby.Yoursist
erdoesn't
hateyoushewi
ll
neverhat
ey ou"Hestrokedmy
back
Me:"Sher
eall
yhat
emedaddyshewi
shIwas
dead.Shecanhav
ehi
mit'
sokay"
Dad:
"Buty
oual
sol
ovehi
m don'
tyou"
Me:
"Buthehur
tmedaddy
"
Dad:
"Iknowsweet
hear
tIhat
ewhathedi
dto
youguys.I
fitweren'
tformygrandchil
drenhe
wouldhaveshithi
mselfinst
eadofpissi
ng
himsel
f.
"Hechuckled.Ipull
edbackandl ooked
athi
m
Me:"
Dadwhatdidy
oudot
ohi
mthatmadehi
m
pi
ssedhi
mself
"
Dad:
"Iwant
edt
odr
ophi
m downf
rom 10t
h
fl
oor
"
Me:
"OhmyGod"Icr
iedl
ouder
Dad:
"St
opcr
yingIdi
dn'
tdr
ophi
m"
Me:"
Hemusthavebeenscareddadt
hathe
pi
ssedhi
msel
f.Thatpi
ctur
einmymindbreaks
myheart
."
Dad:
"Hewi
l
lnev
erev
erbr
eakagi
rl
'
shear
t"
Iknowhemessedupbutt hepi
ctureinmymi nd
ki
ll
smysoul .Ican'
timagi
nethepainhei s
goingt
hroughrightnow.Hemustf eell
i
keshit
nowonderhecamewear i
ngdif
ferentclot
hes.
"
Hushnow"Hewi
pedmyt
ear
swi
thhi
s
pal
ms.
"Whathappenedt
oyourwr
ist
"
Me:
"Not
hing"
Dad:"I
ssy
"Hel ookedi
ntomyeyesandIlooked
down.Ihatehowt hi
smanalwaysknowhowt o
readme.I'
mj ustanopenbookinhiseyeswhat
funnywehardlyknoweachother
."Lookatme"
Hel i
ft
edupmychi nwithhi
sfi
ngermakingme
tolookathi
m." Tal
ktome"
Me:
"Iwant
edt hepai
ntostopDadI
'
m sorry
"I
whi
sper
edfreshtear
scloudi
ngmysight
Dad:"Howcany oubesosel fi
shhuh!Doy ou
real
izethepai nyouwer egonnaputust hrough!!
Whataboutt hesoulsyouarecarryi
ng!!
"He
shoutedmaki ngmet ocryl
ouder.Hebr eathed
outloudly"I'
m sorr
y,Im sosososor ryAngel I
shouldnthav esnapped.Thethoughtofl osing
youagai nis.
.."Hepausedandsi ghedheav ily
"I
'm sorryokayIknowy ouarehurtingandI
understandbutdeat hisnotananswer
sweetheart.It'
snotanendoft hewor l
d.This
painwi
l
lbeoverIpr
omiseyouweareher
efor
yousweet
hear
tyezwa"Inodded"
Daddyl
ove
you"
Me:"Ilov edaddytoo"Heki ssedmynoseand
snuggl edmecl osertohischest.Thi
sman
smell niceyouguy sIcouldstayinhi
sar
ms
for
ev er.
Hisphoneranghesl
i
dhi
shandt
ohi
spocket
andtookitout
Dad:
"MommyQueen"
Mom: "Wher
ethef uckareyouWakheIhave
beentryi
ngtocallyou!
!"Icoul
dhearhersi
nceI
wassnuggledclosertodaddy'
schest.Dad
droppedthecal
lIlookedathim hesmil
edand
ki
ssedmybandagedwr ist
Dad:"
Imadecont
actwit
hEdwar
d..
..
"Hi
sphone
rangagai
nheanswer
edandsai
dnothi
ng
Mom:"Ngiy
axol
i
samnyeniwamicel
aungxol
ele"
(
I'
m sorr
ymyhusbandpl
easefor
giv
eme)
Dad:"
Ngiy
akuxol
elamkami
nowt
alkt
odaddy
"(I
for
givey
oumywi fe)
Mom:"
Ihavebeentr
yingtocally
ouKuhl
eisi
n
t
hehospi
talsheal
mostlostthebaby
"
Dad:
"I
'm comi
ngr
ightnowokay
"
Mom:
"OkayIl
ovey
ou"
Dad:"
Ilov
eyoumor ehoney"Hemadeki
sses
soundandIheardmom giggli
ngont
heother
si
dethentheyhungup
Me:
"WOW"
Dad:
"What
?"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouguy
s"
Dad:
"Wel
ovey
out
oo.Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Me:
"Thanksf
orchecki
nguponme"
Dad:"
Yousaidy
ouwil
lcomebackwhenThando
i
sfound.Tomorr
owIwil
lcomeandfet
chyou
guys.Bepr
epar
ed"
Me:
"Okay
..Il
ovey
ou"
Dad:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"Hekissedmyf or
eheadand
pl
acedmedownonthecouchthenheleft
.
Thandojoi
nedmewi t
hLami .Shetookthe
remoteandchangedsoccersinceIf
ound
daddywatchi
ngither
e.
Me:"
LookThandoI
m sor
ryaboutearl
i
eron.You
knowI'
m goi
ngthr
oughadif
fi
cultt
imeandI..
."
Thando:
"Thatdoesn'
tmeanyoushoul
dbea
hornysl
ut"Icl
enchedmyfi
sts
Me:"
IknowIwaswr ongokaybutIwon'thave
youi
nsult
ingme.Youneedt orespectme.
..
."
Shecutmeof fwi
thaloudlaughyou'dswear
shei
spracti
cingt
obeapr osti
tute
Thando:"
HowcanIr
especty
ouwheny
oudon'
t
respecty
our
sel
f!
"
Me: "
JustbecauseIhappenedtoopenmyl egs
toawr ongpersondoesn'tmeanIdon'trespect
my self
!Youshouldknowbet t
erthatwheny ou
aregoingthroughsomedi f
fi
cult
yy oudothings
outofcharact
er.Wheny ouweregoingthr
ough
theaborti
onthi
ngy ouwererude,dr
inki
ng
alcoholandwanti
ngtosleepwithboys.Inever
j
udgedy oubuthereareyoujudgi
ngme.You
makei tseemsli
keIsleptwi
ththewholeworld
argmaanst opannoyingme!"Shestoodup
Me:"
Wherethefuckar
eyougoi
ngI
'
m st
il
l
t
alki
ngt
oy ou!
"
Sheshowedmehermiddlefi
ngermyblood
boi
ledIt
ookmyphonehitherwit
hit
.She
scr
eamedinagony
"
What
'sgoi
ngonher
e!"Shout
edPK
Thando:
"I
tsherbut
ishehi
tmewi t
hherphone"
Shecri
edrubbi
ngthebackofherheadwher
eI
hi
therwit
hthephone
PK:
"Ki
tKatwhywoul
dyoudot
hat
"
Me:
"Shei
sdi
srespect
ful
Chocol
at.
.PK"
Thando:
"Tel
lhim whyI
m di
srespect
ful
orI
shoul
dItell
him!"
Me:
"Uzoval
aimboboyepapangesbhakel
a!"
(
Youwill
shutyourpaphol
ewithapunch!)
Thando:
"Katsl
eptwi
thTbosebut
i!
"
•
NARRATED
•
"MommyIwantdaddy "cr
iedli
tt
leLwandle
whichissomethingshehavebeendoingsince
herdaddymov edout.Poorchi
lddidn'
tknow
thatherdaddywasthrownoutofthehouse.
Pear
l:
"Daddyl
eftsweet
heartbutUncl
eKennyi
s
her
eshouldIgowakehim up"
Lwandl
e:"
NoIwantdaddy
"Lwandl
eisadaddy
's
gi
rl
.
Pearl
:"
Hereisyourmilkdri
nkmysweetdar li
ng"
Shepourglassofmi l
kandgav eherdaughter
whopushedt heglassroughl
yitfal
ldownand
brokei
ntopiecesasthemi l
kspatter
edont he
fl
oor."
Dammi tmaanLwandl eItoldyouyour
fatherl
eftusokay!St
opbei ngaspoiltli
tt
lebrat
arggamaan! !
"Shescreamedatt hetopofher
voicemakingthechil
dwai ll
oudly"Nx!"She
cleanedthemessherdaught ercreat
edt hen
wentt oherbedr
oom andcr awledont opof
Kennywhowassnor i
nglightl
y.
Shecaressedhismanhoodasshepr essedher
l
ipsonhi mthenextmi nut
et heirbodieswere
bumpingintoeachotherbeaut i
full
ycr eat
ing
slappi
ngsoundsast hewav esofpl easures
rockedthr
ought hem whil
elitt
leLwandl ewiped
hertear
sandt ookherdollthenheadedout .
Lordknowshowshemi ssedherf at
herandhis
funnystori
eshealway
st el
lher.Shesatdown
nexttothepoolandst
ar t
edplayingwithherdol
l,
tal
kingtoherl
ikeshei
sahumanbei ngsucha
cutesightt
osee.
Thehugemistakeshemadewaswant i
ngto
batht
hedolli
nthepoolthedoll
sli
ppedoutof
hergr
ipandfl
ewaway .Shetr
iedtorescueher
dollbutf
all
int
othepool shedr
ownedtodeath
whil
ehermom washav ingamassiveorgasm
"OhhhhhhKennyyouaresogoooood"
[
06/
01,
14:
38]W:
53
NARRATED
•
Pear
l'smom wasv i
sit
ingherdaughterwhen
shesawadistur
bingsi ght
.Sherantothepool
andjumpedi
nsidetor escuehergrandaught
er.
"Lwandle!wakeupnunuzakagogopl ease!
"
shecriedinagonyhopingthatshewi
llwakeup
butitwasalreadyt
oolate.Sherani
nsideher
daughtershousemoansf i
ll
edherearsasshe
approachedthemasterbedroom.Shepushed
thedooropenandgaspedwi t
hshockwhenshe
sawherdaught err
idi
ngKenny .
Pearl
:"
Mom whatt
hefuck!
"Shockchangedi
nto
angertoPear
l'
smom
"
Yourdaught
eri
sdr
owni
ngi
nthepool
youar
e
busyri
dingadickwhatki
ndofamot
herar
e
you!
!"shecr
ied
Pearl
'
sheartski
ppedabeatasshel
ookedat
herdaught
erinhermom'
sarms
Pearl:
"OhmyGod! "Shejumpeddownand
pull
edar obeKennyfrozeli
keastatue.Shetook
herdaughter'
sli
fel
essbodyf r
om hermot her
whowascr y
ing"Lwandlebaby,wakeup..vuka
sthandwasamamaI m sor
ry!
"
"
It
stool
atenow"Cr
iedPear
l'
smom
Pearl
:"
Noo!"shecri
edinagony"
Lwandl
ewake
upplease"sheshookherandsl
appi
ngher
cheeksbutli
tt
leLwandl
ewasnomor e.
Al i
tt
leinnocentsoul diedtragicall
ywhoi st
o
beblamedher e?Lif eforbeingunf ai
r?Godf or
notsavi
ngLi tt
leLwandl e?Pear lforbeinga
reckl
essmot her?Mzwakhef ornotfightingfor
hisdaughterafterallheknowPear lhasnev er
beenamot hermat eri
alhewasal way stheone
thatt
akecar eofLwandl e?
•
SQALESI
HLE
•
ThemessPhakamani createdistakingahuge
tol
lonevery
one.Ican'
tbeli
evePhakamani di
d
thi
sthefamil
ytr
ustedhim, It
rustedhim he
appear
edtobeagoodguy .Nowmysi st
ersare
goi
ngtohav ehi
sbabieswhatf uckryist
hatarrg
man.
Ilovebothmysi st
ersandIdon'twantthem to
notgetalongbutIcanseeKuhl eisal
ready
talki
ngaboutsideswhichiswrongcozt hey
wer ebot
hplayedbyt hi
sidi
ot.
Wear esupposetobehappyast hef amil
yget
tomeetoursi st
er.Weal lthoughtI
ssydi ed,we
mour nedher,wewat chedmom cr yingsome
daysf orherandthatbrokeourheartsbutnow
withallthati
sgoingonIsmel larif
tbet ween
thefami l
yanditsscaresme.
It houghtKuhl ei
sexaggerati
ngbutwhenIwas
therewi t
hMom andGogoatt hehospitalI
not i
cedhowmom keptgoi ngonandonabout
Issy.Yesshei sangryandhurtaboutev eryt
hing
butherwor r
yliesmoretoIssyt hanKuhleand
I'
m af r
aidthi
swi ll
causebadbl oodbetween
sistershowev erIunder
standmom' ssi
tuati
on.
Thedaught ershehavebeenmour ningf or23
yearsisaliv
e, t
heloveshehav ebeeny earni
ng
togivehernowf at
easdeci dedt ograntherthat
opportunit
yshenev erthoughtwi l
lit
sbeaut if
ul
yetscaryandsadasKuhl ewi l
lfeelunloved,
unwant ed.Hugesigh!
"Wherethehel
lar
ey oucomingfrom!!
"
Scr
eamedmyhusbandassoonasIent ered.I
l
ookedathim andsaidnot
hing.Hebreathedout
l
oudly"I
'
m sorr
yIdidn'
tmeant oshoutIwas
worr
iedaboutyoubaby"
Me:
"Wher
e'sy
ourphoneIl
efty
ouamessage"
Het
ookouthi
sphoneandplayedt
hemessage
Hubby
:"I
'
m sor
ry"Heki
ssedt
hecor
nerofmyl
i
p
"
Howisshenow"
Me: "
Thedoctorsaidwemustcomebacklat
er
tonightbutIwi
llseehert
omorr
owmorningI'
m
ti
redIwantt ot
akeashowerandsl
eepSbaniis
sleeping?
"
Hubby
:"Yeshei
ssl
eepi
ng.
Whati
sbot
her
ing
youmywi f
e"
Me:"Everyt
hingisjustamesshoneyandI '
m
scaredthewor seiscomi ngandy ouareal
so
acti
ngst r
anget heseday sIdon'tknowwhatto
doorhowt ofeel myemot ionsaretoomuch"I
burstint
otears.Hel ookedatmesadmyt ears
arehisweakness.Hepi ckedmeupandmade
uslieontopoft hecouch, meont opofhi
mi n
thelounge.
Hubby
"What
'samesst
alkt
omemyl
ove"
Me:"Howaboutwest
artaboutwhyar
eyou
act
ingstr
ange"
Hubby:
"I
'm sor
ryhoneyi
t'
swor
kIdi
dn'
tmeant
o
worr
yyou"
Me:
"Don'
tl
iet
omeVi
npl
ease"
Hubby
:"Ser
ioussthandwasami
I'
m notl
yi
ngt
o
youwhywoul dIl
i
eMaj obe.
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hubby:
"Iwi
l
lneverli
etoyoumyli
fe.Don'tcr
y
youar
emakingmesad"Hewi pedmyt earsand
ki
ssedmyforehead."
Ilov
eyousomuch"
Me:"Ilov eyoutoo"Ikissedhisli
psintensif
ying
thekisshemoanedi nmymout handkneaded
mybut t.Iwenttohisjawli
negoingdownt ohis
neckt rail
ingwetkisses.Iyankedhisshirtopen
thebut tonsfl
ewont heair
.Hegr oanedasI
suckonhi shardnipple,twir
li
ngmyt ounge
aroundi t.
Iki
ssedmywaydownt ohisabsleav
ingki
sses.
Ishothim afl
ir
tat
iousl
ookasIunbuckl
edhis
beltandpull
edouthismanhood.Hesprangup
i
nar
eadyposi
ti
onl
ooki
ngal
lyummy
.
Hewi ncedatt hepl easureofmywar m mout h
asitswal l
owhi m slowl ylikeapy t
hon
swall
owi ngi t
sprey .Isuckedonhi mlikemyl i
fe
dependoni tcausingsucki ngsounds.If elthim
tenseupt henhej er kedv i
ol entl
yhewascomi ng
forsureIpul l
edout .Hel ifteduphi sheadand
l
ookedatmewi t
h" That'sunf air"l
ookIbi t
emy
l
ipsmi r
kingathi m asIcr awl ont optopofhi m
andkissedhi m whi leshiftingmypant iesaside
thendirectedhimi nsi deofme.Hegr oanedi n
mymout h.Ibuckedmyhi psf orseveralti
mes
thenpulledout .
Hubby
:"Maj
obe!
"Her
aspedf
ier
cel
yIgi
ggl
ed.
Me:"From nowony ouwil
lnotgetanyunt
ily
ou
fi
xthingswithKonke"Iwhisper
edinhi
searand
gotuphepul l
edmeback
Hubby:
"Youarej
okingr
ight
"hi
sey
eswer
edar
k
r
edfil
l
edwi t
hdesir
e
Me:
"Ohnomydear
esthusband"Ipeckedhi
s
l
i
psandj
umpeddownf
rom hi
m.
Hubby
:"Babycomeonl
ookatmenow"
Iwinkedathim andmademywayt oour
bedroom swayi
ngmyhi pssidetosi
de.Ihear
d
him gr
oanedloudlyandgiggl
edtomyself
.Iwas
hornytoobutawi f
egottadowhatawifegotta
dothisri
ftbet
weent het
wooft hem i
snot
funnyanymore.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
IknowThandocanbeabi tchwhenshewantt o
butInevert
houghtshecanbet raymel i
kethi
s.
Sheismysisterforcr
yingoutloud.IfIwasnext
toherIwasgoingtostrangleherli
feoutofher.
Ieyedhershelookedatmewi thwideopen
mouthIbetthatwhensher eali
zethemessshe
havedonebutitwasalreadytoolatenow.
PK:
"Kati
sthi
str
ue"Hel
ookedr
ighti
ntomy
ey
es
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"Iwhi
sper
ed
PK:"
Wowj ustwow"Hef l
inchedhisfi
sts
"Where?
"Ilookeddowntwi ddl
i
ngmyf inger
sas
tear
smadet heirwaydownmyf ace"
Answer
theaskdammi t!
!!
"Ij
umpedabi t.
Me:"
Int
heguest
room heusewhenhei
sher
e"I
sai
dwit
halowtone
PK:"
Youf uckedyourbestfr
iendi
nourf ucki
ng
house!
!Howdi srespect
fuli
sthathuh?How
l
onghav ey oubeenfool
ingmehuh? ?"heroared
hewassoangr yandshaki
ng
Me:"I
twasthefir
standlastbabyI'
m sorr
y"I
sobbed"Pl
easestopshoutingyouarescari
ng
Lami"HelookedatLami whowascl oset
o
tear
s
PK:"
Thandopleaset
akeLamiandleavethi
s
room"ThandotookLamit
hentheydisappear
ed
Me:
"Ngi
yaxol
i
saPhakamani
"(I
'
m sor
ry
Phakamani
)
PK:"Ican'
tbelieveyoudidthi
st omeKat .For
fewhour sI'm outyouopeny ourlegsforyour
fri
end,afriendthatyoupromi sedmet hat
there'
snot hi
ngmor ethenjustfri
endship
betweent hetwoofy ouorthatwasal ie!!
"
Me:
"Noitwasn'
tal i
kePKI'm sor
ryy
oubroke
myhear
tIwashur tandhehappenedtobe
t
her
eonet hi
ngledtoanother"
Hepacedar
oundandbr
ushedhisfacethenhe
l
ookedatmehisey
eswereful
lofpain
PK:
"Ohsoi
tsmyf
aul
tyouwer
eal
osesl
ut!
"
Me:"Don'
tyouf uckingdar ecall
measl ut.You
mademet odot his.Hady ounotbr okemy
heartIwouldnthav esleptwithTbose.The
nerveyouhav etoinsultmewhi l
ey ouarethe
onewhocr eatedal lt
hismess.I fI
'm aslutwhat
areyouhuh?Youcheat edonmef oral
most3
fucki
ngyears!Busyscr ewi ngmysi st
erthen
comebackt omeandscr ewmet oowhi speri
ng
sweetnothingwordsdoy ouhaveanyi
deawhat
thatshi
tfeelsl
ike?Thef actt
hatyou
i
mpr egnatedusatt hesamet i
memakemesi ck.
Sopleasedon'tshitonmeIknowhowt oshi
t
onmy self
!!"
PK:"
Don'ttal
ktomel i
ket
hat!
!IknowIwronged
youbutthatdoesn'
tmeanyoushouldopenyour
l
egs..
."HewascutshotbyTbosewhocamei n
tal
ki
ng
Tbose:
"If
oundt
heguyt
hatshoty
ou.
..
ohI
'
m
sor
ry"
PK:
"Youmot
her
fucker
"Heat
tackedPK"
How
dar
eyouscr
ewmywoman!!"
Tbose:"
I'
m sorr
ymfet
huwedi
dn'
tpl
ani
t"PK
punchedhim agai
n
PK:"
Iknewityouwanther
!Busypl
ayi
ngbrot
her
myf oot
!Sheismineandmineal
one!
!"He
punchedhim agai
n
Me:
"PKst
opi
t!
"
Tbose:"
AhhIsaidIm sor r
yokayory ouwantme
tosayserveyouright?Wel l
ngikul
ayil
enowi s
ti
mey oufeelthepainy oucausedher !For3
fucki
ngyearsyouhav ebeenl y
ingtoher .Igave
youthebenefi
toft hedoubtlookwhaty oudi d!
Youdon'tdeserv
eher !"HepunchedPKback
PK:"
Andy oudodeserv
eher ?Owiny ourdreams
brasheismineyouwon'tgether!
!Im goingto
fi
ghtforherandyoustayoutofourbusiness!
"
Puncheswer
efl
yi
ngi
ntheai
rli
ket
heywer
e
donated
Me:"Stopi
tguys!!"Di
dtheyli
stenedtome?No
theykeptpunchingeachother.IswearIwas
watchingaboxing."PK!Tbose!"Tbosepull
ed
outhisgunfrom thebacktheofhi spant
sand
point
edatPK
Tbose:
"YouareaboyPKy ouwil
lnevermeasure
hal
fofthemanIam!Iwi l
lbl
owy ourbrai
nsoff!
"
Hespatbloodonthef
loorhisey
esf ul
lofrage
Me:
"Tbosepl
easel
owery
ourgunandcal
m
downpl
ease"
PK:
"Youwanttoshootme?Doi
tyoubast
ard!
"
hesai
dneari
ngthegun
Tbose:
"Ist
hatcal
lbei
ngbr
aveorbei
nga
weakli
ngasalways!
"
PK:"Thener
veyouhav
etof
uckmywomanand
rai
seagunatmei nmyownfucki
nghousey
ou
bit
chnigga!
!"
Tbose:"Thisi
sallyourmessy oucr
eat edallthi
s
fucki
ngmess!I nsult
ingmeandbeat ingmeup
won'tchangeat hi
ng.YesIsl eptwit
hy our
womancozy ouareanst upidass!Imadeher
scream mynamedamnshei shal l
eluyaaaher
moans. .
..
"PKjumpedont hegun.Theyf ought
overitIstoodupfrom thecouchandmakemy
wayt othem
Me:"
Boyspleasest
opi tmaan!"Icr
iedandtried
topul
ledt
hem apartbuttheywerestrong.We
hear
dagunshotandl ookedateachot her.
PK:"
Ohno!"Hescreamedl
ooki
ngatmeinmy
stomachmyhandswenttomystomachand
camebackcov er
edwit
hbl
ood.Ist
umbl
ed
backwardsTbosehel
dme.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
"Ohno!
"IscreamedinshockwhenIsawbl
ood
oozi
ngfrom Kit
Kat
'sst
omach.
"Whathav ewedone"t hatcameoutasa
whispder."Donttouchher !
!"IpushedTboseand
heldmyKi tKat"BabyI'm sorry"Shebli
nked
l
azilyherli
psmov edshewant edtosay
somet hi
ngbutt hewassomet hi
ngstoppingher.
"Don'tst
andt herecallthedamnambul ance!!
!"I
roaredatTbosewhowast ryingtoregist
erwhat
j
usthappened." Babyst aywithmepl ease"My
knesscouldn'tcontainourwei ghtIdroppedto
mykneeswi t
hheri nmyar ms" Ngi
yaxoli
sa
sthandwasami pleasedon'tdieonmepl ease"I
pressedmyforeheadonherfor
eheadasmy
tearsfal
lonherbeaut
if
ulf
ace.
"WhathappenedIheardgunshot..ohmygod!
"
ScreamedThandot hemomentshesawher
si
sterinmyarms" Whathappened?Whoshot
her?"Shefal
lonherkneesnexttousLami'
scr
y
fi
ll
edthelounge.
Lami
:
"Bl
ood.
.mom i
shur
t.
..bl
ood"Hecr
ied
Tbose:
"Thandot
akeLami
wear
egoi
ngt
odr
ive
Kattot
hehospit
al"
Thando:
"Iwanttogowi
thyou!
"shecr
ied"
What
haveyoudonetomysist
erTbose,
PKhuh!"she
cri
edinagony.
Lami
:
"Mommywakeup!
"
Me:"
Thandopl
easeLami
shoul
dn'
tbeseei
ng
t
his!
"
Ki
tKatopenedhereyessl
owlyandl
ookedather
si
ster
.Herli
pspart
edslowly
Kat
:"
I.
.I
..ho.
.ho.
.hop.
.hope.
.you.
.
y
ou.
..
are.
.ha.
.ppynow"
Thando:
"Si
sI'
m sor
ry!
"shesobbed.
IgotupandpickedKit
Katt
henwemadeour
wayoutleav
ingThandoandLamiburst
ingi
nto
pi
erci
ngcrythatmademyheartcl
enched
pai
nful
ly
.Tbosewasdr i
vi
ngandIwasatthe
backwit
hmyKi tKat
Me:"Katstayawakeplease"Isl
appedher
cheeksli
ght l
ysheopenedhereyeslazi
l
y"I
'm
sorr
yI'm sososorry.Il
oveyousomuchIcan't
aff
ordtol oseyou.
"
Kat:
"Sav
e..my..
my ..
ba.bies"Iprayedwithi
n
myselft
hattheysurvive.Theyhav etosurv
ive.
Tbosewasdr i
vi
ngl i
keamani acwi t
hint
heblink
ofaneyewewer eatt hehospi t
al.Shewasput
onthestret
cherthentheyr ushedwi t
hher
Me:"
Pleasesav
ethem al
ldoct
orshei
scar
ryi
ng
t
wins!"
Doc:
"Iwi
l
ldowhat
everi
tst
akes"Icoul
dn'
tst
ay
i
noneplaceIwaspaci
ngupanddown.Thef
ear
ofl
osi
ngherandthetwi
nswasdri
vi
ngme
cr
azy.
Tbose:
"Si
tdowny
oumaki
ngmedi
zzy
!"
Me:
"Thi
sisal
lyourf
aul
t!
"
Tbose:
"Myfaul
t?Ohnobut
iyouar
etheone
whocreat
edthi
smess!!
"
Me:
"Youar
etheonewhopul
l
edagun!
"
Tbose:
"Andyoudi
dthemostst
upi
dthi
ngby
fi
ghti
ngme!"
Me:"Pr
ay,
prayt
hatherandbabi
esmakei
tcoz
I
'm goi
ngt
okil
lyouTbose!
!"
Tbose:"
Youneedtocal
lherf
amily"OhGodher
famil
ytheygoi
ngtokil
lmethi
stime.Bothof
thei
rdaught
ersar
einthehospi
talbecauseof
me!!
Me:
"Ican'
t"
Tbose:
"Whynotwhati
fsomet
hinghappent
o
herwehav
etol
ett
hem know!
!"
Me:
"Youcal
lthem!
"
Tbose:
"Noyoucallthem!Youknowthatfamil
y
morethenIdosocal lt
hem!!
"Heisri
ghtbutI
coul
dn'
tbri
ngmy selftodoit
.Aft
erwhatfel
tli
ke
adecadethedoctorcametous
Doc:
"Khethokuhl
eMhl ongo"Tbosest
oodupwe
bot
hgav ethedoctorattent
ion
Me:"
Tel
lmetheyareall
okay"Thedoct
orsi
ghed
heav
il
yandshookhishead
Doc:
"I
'm sor
rywecoul
dn'
tsav
ethet
winst
he.
..
"
Me:
"No!Don'
tsayt
hat
!"Ipul
ledhi
m byhi
scoat
"
Mytwinsarefi
net
heyareokay!
!!
"
Doc:
"I
'm sor
ryMrMngomezul
uI.
..
"
Me:
"No!"IbrokedownasTbose'
sarmspull
ed
meawayf rom t
hedoct
orandwrappedar
ound
me.Icr
iedinagony.Whathav
eIdone?
[
06/
01,
14:
39]W:
54
NARRATED
•
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
TheSitholefami l
ywer eshatter
edt ohearthe
newsoft helossoft heunbor nsoulsafter
Phakamani gai nastrengthtotellt
hem
al
thoughhedi dn'
tgot hroughthedetail
s.They
werenowgat heredaroundI ssy'
shospit
albed.
Zesuli
we:"
Babyhowar eyoufeel
ing"Shesaid
try
ingsohardtonotcr y.Shehadtobestrong
forherbabygi
rlbutIssy'ssi
tuat
ioncoul
dn't
helpshewasjuststari
ngi nt
ospacenottalki
ng
norcryi
ng.
I
tli
keshewasonherownworl
donlyhereyes
r
efl
ect
edsorrowandpai
nwit
hinhersel
f.
Wakhe: "
Saysomet hingpl
easeli
ttl
eangel"He
strokedhisdaughter'
shai
rhopingthatshewi l
l
saysomet hi
ng.It
'shasbeenhal fanhoursince
theygothereandI ssyhaven'
tsaidanyt
hingnor
cr
ying.
Theyaskedt hedoctorandhet ol
dt hem that
sheistr
aumat izedbyev er
ythingthathappened.
Beingshotalonei st
raumatizinglosingtwo
babiesi
nt hatmannert r
ipl
et hetr
aumahe
suggestedthatIssyhavetot alkt
opsy chologist
todealwiththet r
auma.
Sweli
hle:
"Vent
,cry
,scream,
doanyt
hingbabyt
o
rel
easethepainbott
li
ngupwil
ldoyouno
good."
Ndoniyamanz i:
"Nkosi
sthandil
e"Shesai d
squeezingherhandbutsher eceivedno
reacti
onfrom Issy"Godthisispainful
.Talkt
o
ussweet heartoratl
eastcry.Pleasecrymy
l
ov e"Sheblinkedbackhertears
Zesuli
wecouldn'
thelpbutburstint
otearsshe
fel
tli
keshefail
edherdaughter.Sheisher
mothershewassupposet oprotectherfr
om all
theharmintheworld.
Wakhe:
"SsshhhMommyQueendon'
tcr
y"He
comfort
edhiswi f
ewhowascr y
inghyster
ical
.
Lordknowshowi tshatt
erhi
sheartt
oseehi s
wifeandchil
dreninpai
nandnotbeingableto
takeawaythepaintheyaref
eel
ing.
Nhloni
pho:
"Iwantt
oknowwhathappened.That
boyneedtocometousandtel
luswhat
happened"
"I
t'
smyf aul
t"whisper
edThandoaudi bl
eenough
foreveryonetohearasshewal kedin.Theyall
turnedandl ookedather"
Shewoul dn'
thavelost
thetwinshadIshutmymout h.I'
m sorr
yIdidn't
meant ocauseanyhar m shehitmeandIwas
angry..
.I.
."Shebursti
ntotear
s
Ndoniyamanzi
:"
Calm downsis"Shewal
kedt o
herandhuggedher"Sweli
hlegoandgetwater"
Sweli
hlewentouttofetchwatert
henshecame
back"Heredr
ink"Thandotookthegl
asswit
h
hershaki
nghandsandgul peddownthewater
Thando:
"Thanky
ou"
Ndoni
yamanz
i:
"Tel
luswhathappened"
Thando:"Yester
dayaft
ery oual ll
eftsi
scriedI
comf ort
edherunti
lshefallasleep.Lami
wantedt owakeherupsoIt ookhim outforice
cream.Whenwecamebackuhm. .
"shecleared
herthroatandpausedlookingathersi st
erwho
wasnotev enstari
ngather .
Nhl
oni
pho:
"It
'sokaymzukul
utel
luswewi
l
l
f
oundoutanyway"
Thando:
"Wef
indhernakedi
nbedwi
thTbose"
Nhl
oni
pho:
"Whoi
sTbose"
Zesul
i
we:
"I
t'
sherguyf
ri
end"
Thando:"Ididn'tl
ikewhatIsaw.Si sKatis
alwayspr eachinghowshoul dIbehav eand
respectmy selfbutshenev erpract
icewhatshe
preach..
."Shebr eathedoutloudlytr
yingtocalm
herself"
Iwasmadcozshewasbei nglose
whileshei salway spreachi
ngwear guedt hen
shehitmewi thherphoneIwasangr yandIt ol
d
PKt hatshesl eptwithTbose"
Zesul
i
we:
"Amen!
"
Thando:
"IknowIshouldn'
thav
et heyargued
thenTbosecameback.TboseandPKf ought
,Tbosepull
edagunPKj umpedintoit.SisKat
wastryi
ngtostopthem fr
om f
ighti
ngt hathow
shegotshot"Shesobbed
Wakhe:
"Dammitmaanar
ethoseboy
ssi
cki
n
t
hei
rheads!
!"
Luy
anda:
"I
t'
sTbose'
sfaul
tthet
winsdi
ed!
"
Ndoniyamanz i
:
"Whosef aul
titi
swon'thel
pnow
mygr anddaughterl
ostherpreci
ousgif
ts"she
sobbed
Sweli
hle:
"Hayi
it'
sherf
aul
thadsheshutherbig
mouthnonoft hi
swouldhavehappened.
UyaphaphaThandoIhopeyouarehappyIssy
l
ostthetwins"
Ndoni
yamanz
i:
"Sweswe.
..
"
Swel
i
hle:
"NoMaitsherf
aultIdon'
tunder
stand
howcanshebet
rayhersi
sterli
kethat
.No
matterhowangr yyouwer eatheryoushouldn'
t
sai
dt hattoPhakamani .Whatwereyouhoping
toachievehuh?Issysleptwit
hTbosesowhat ?
Whoshesl eepswithisnoneofyourbusiness
notunlessifyouaretheonewhowantt osl eep
wit
hTbose"
Ndoni
yamanz
i:
"Swel
i
hle.
..
"
Sweli
hle:
"NoMama. .
Thandoisthecauseofthe
fi
ghtthattr
anspir
ed!Ihopeshesleepsatnight
knowingthathersist
erlosthert
winsbecause
ofherbigmouth"
Luyanda:
"Thegi
rlsaidI
ssydoesn'
tpract
ice
whatshepreachit'
sannoyi
ngwhenonekeep
tel
l
ingyouhowt obehaveyetshedoesthe
opposit
e"
Sweli
hle:
"I
ssyrai
sedherselfandThando.She
becameamom atageof10y earsshehadno
onetoguideher.Shefi
guredlif
ehersel
fnoone
hasevertol
dherrightf
rom wrong.Sheisbound
tomakemi st
akessheishuman, ayounglady
whowasr obbedherchi ldhoodshehadt oraise
Thandowhi l
esheal soneededsomeonet o
rai
sehert oo.At l
eastshei spreachi ngwhi ch
meansshecar esabouty ouandshewantt he
bestfory ou.Andsof arshehav edoneagr eat
j
obbyr aisingy ou.Youar egoingt obe19y ears
youhav enochi l
dsomechi l
drenwhoar e
youngert heny ouhav ebabi esmor et hen1.You
mat r
iculatedshemadesur et haty ouf i
nished
school somechi ldrenwhohav epar ent
s
droppedout .Showsomeappr eciation,we
manifestpai ndifferently.Wenay ouhav ehert o
comf orty ouwheny ouar ei npai n.Yenashegot
nooney ouar eyoungshecan' tbur deny ouwith
herprobl emscozi twi l
lmakey ousadt hatwhy
shefindsol acetheonl ywaysheknowhow.
One,two, threemi stakesshei sthebadper son
whataboutt hegoodt hingsshehav edone?
Don'ttheyexi stnowt hatshesl eptwi thTbose?
NotthatI 'm condoni ngsl eepi
ngar oundbuti ts
herpussyandherbodyi t '
supy ouwhet heryou
wantt ot akethosel ecturesi ntogooduseornot
okusal ayoyenashet oldy ouwhaty ouneedt o
hear!!"Shewal kedoutf umi ngsheunder st
and
I
ssy '
sbehav i
orcozwhenshewasy oungshe
uset obehav et hesameandy enashehadgood
guidancebutherhear tcoul dn'tt
akepain.She'd
gocl ubbingandgetdi ckedt hatmadeherf eel
better.Thandor anoutcr yingSwel i
hle'
swor ds
penet rat
eddeepi nsideofherhear t
.
Wakhe:
"Ineedai
r"
Ndoniyamanzi
:
"Ihopey
ouar
enotgoi
ngt
obeat
upthoseboys"
Wakhe:"NoMama"Ndoni yamanzi l
ookedather
sonnotconv incedbutWakhedi dn'
thave
str
engthtoconv i
nceherhewal kedoutwitha
heavyheart.Hegoti nhiscarandbur i
edhis
headont hest eer
ingwheel thencri
edhislungs
out.Hefeltli
keaf ail
ure,fail
ureofahusband
andfather.Everythingthatishappeninghef el
t
l
ikeheshoul dhav epr eventedit.Hecoul
df eel
thepai
nIssyisgoi ngt hr
oughnow.I tt
ri
ggered
thepai
nwhent heylosther,t
hepainwhent hey
l
osttheotherchildthathiswifemiscarri
edafter
thetwi
ns.ThingsI ssywentthroughkil
ledhis
soulwhi
chant agonizedhi mfurt
her.Hereached
forhi
sphoneanddi aledhisPI.
"
MrS"
Wakhe:
"Whatdoy
ouhav
eforme"
"
Yourf
ri
endi
stheonet
hatknowwher
eist
hat
woman"
Wakhe:
"Myf
ri
end?
"
"
Mngomezul
u"
Wakhe:
"Howcome?Howdot
heyev
enknow
eachot
her"
"
ThatwhatIhav
ebeenwor
kingonMrS"
Wakhe:
"Makei
tsnappy
"
"
YesMrS"Theyhungup.
PEARL'
SHOUSE
Pearlwasstari
ngatthecryi
ngcandleasshe
wasseat edonthemat tr
ess.Shedi
dn'tsl
eepat
al
llastni
ght.Tear
sfloweddownherf aceshe
couldn'
tbel
ieveherl
itt
leLwandlei
sgone.Her
babygirldi
edwhenshewasbusyr i
dingadick.
Whatkindofamot herisshe?Howcoul dshe
besocar el
ess?
Shewil
lneverfor
giv
eher sel
f.Shewaswit
hher
mom andheraunts.Sheistheonlychi
ldf
rom
hermom anddad.Fami l
ymember swereabout
tocomedur i
ngtheweek.Thesadnewshas
tr
avel
edfastandeveryonewasshatter
ed.
"
Haveyouinf
ormedMzwakhe?
"Asked
Nomal
anga,Pear
l'
smom
Pear
l:
"NoandI
'
m notpl
anni
ngt
o"
Nomal
anga:
"Hai
bowhy
?Hedeser
vet
oknow!
"
Pear
l:
"Hewillki
l
lmeMama.Mzwakhewas
anyt
hingannoyi
ngbuthewasabestf
ather
.He
l
ovedLwandlemorethenany
thi
ng"
Nomal anga:
"Heshouldkil
lyouvel
ey ouareso
reckl
ess.Callhi
m andtel
lhim hedeserv
eto
knowhei sLwandle'
sfather!
!"
Pear
l:
"Don'
tshoutatmewoman!
"
Nomal
anga:
"HeyheyIwi
l
lsl
apy
ounow!
Pear
l:
"I
'
m notgoi
ngt
otel
lMzwakhet
hat
'st
hat
!"
Nomalanga:
"Umuntuakazal
angawabol
a
amathumbu.Youaretheonewhowascarel
ess
butyouaredeny
ingMzwakheachancetosay
goodbyetohi
sdaughter
!Ishoul
dhaveabor
ted
youwenanx!"
"
HayiNoma! "Excl
aimedNokuthul
a
Nomalanga'ssi
ster
.Pearl
brokedownher
mom'swor dscutdeep.
ATTHEWAREHOUSE
"Hel
p!!
"scr
eamedMjashewasti
edandl
ocked
up.Aguywalkedi
npeel
i
nganappl
e
Guy
:"Shutup!
!"
Mj:
"Pl
easemymanletmegoIwil
lgi
veyou
any
thi
ngmyfami
lyhavemoney"Theguy
l
aughed
Guy:
"DoIl
ookpoort oyou?
"Hetwi
rl
edshowi
ng
Mjhi
sdesignercl
otheshewasweari
ng.
"Myclothesar
edesignedf
ormeonlyboy.You
wil
lneverfi
ndanyoneweari
ngthecl
othesI
wear.DavidTl
aleandSqal
okuhl
eSit
holear
emy
desi
gners."
Mj
:
"Sqal
okuhl
eismysi
ster
!"Theguyl
aughed
Guy
:"Ni
cet
ry"
Mj
:
"Iswear
"Hecr
ied
Guy:
"Myguyi
scomingheisgoi
ngtopeely
ou
l
iket
his"Hesai
dpeel
ingt
heapplevi
gor
ously
Mj:
"Hel
p!!
!"Theguylosti
tandpunchedMj
over
andoverhegroanedinpai
n.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
"Youhav ereachedInapl
easeleaveamessage
afterthetone"Isi
ghedIhavebeentryi
ngtocal
l
himt ofetchmeIwasdi schar
ged.Ideci
dedto
callLwazi
Lwazi
:
"Baby
"
Me:
"Cany
ouf
etchmebabyatt
hehospi
tal
"
Lwazi
:
"AndI
'
m onmywayt
oseey
ouy
az"
Me:
"That
'sgr
eat
"
Lwazi
:
"Gi
vemef
ewmi
nut
es"
Me:"Sure"Wehungup.Af t
erfewmi nutesLwazi
walkedinLooki ngallbeauti
ful.Myf riendis
beauti
ful,darkskinned,bigeyes, thickl i
ps,
pearshapeofbodyandherhumbl eper sonali
ti
y
addcher r
yont hecake." Thanky ouf orcomi ng
l
ove"Sheki ssedmycheek.
Lwazi
:
"Iseey
ouhav
epacked"Il
aughed
Me:
"Ican'
twai
ttol
eav
ethi
spl
aceImi
sst
he
comfortofmyhome"Shet
ookmybagwel
eft
aft
ershesignedmeout
.
Lwazi
:
"Wher
e'sI
na"
Me:
"HeismadatmeIthinkthat
'
swhyhe
swi
tchedof
fhi
sphone.Ibr
okeupwit
hhi
m"
Shehi
tthebrakehar
dscr eechi
ngsoundf
il
led
myearsluckyIwasbuckl
edup
"
JesusLwazi
youwantt
oki
l
lus!
"
Lwazi
:'
"
Whywoul
dyoudot
hatsuchguyhei
s
goal
sgirl
!
"
Me:
"Ourrel
ati
onshi
pisdrai
ningLwazi
sinceour
f
amil
iesdoesn'
tapprov
eofus"
Lwazi:
"Whataboutt
hebabyy
ourar
ecar
ing?
Sbonga?"
Me:
"Wewi
l
lcopar
ent
"
Lwazi:
"HaymnganiYoucan'
tgi
veupnowy ou
guysmakeagreatcoupl
e.Coparenti
ngisnot
thesame.Youcan'
tdothist
othekids,Sbonga
knowsInaashi
sfat
hernowy
ouar
etaki
ngt
hat
awayfr
om him"
Me:
"Hewi
l
lst
il
lseehi
m nj
e"
Lwazi
:
"Itwon'
tbet
hesame"
Me:
"Letdr
opt
hist
opi
c"
Lwazi
:
:"Hav
eyouev
erl
oveI
nat
hough"
Me:
"Howcany
ouaskmet
hat"
Lwazi:"
WhygiveupnowKonkeaf
tery
ears.Your
fatherandSi
thol
efami
lywi
l
lcomearound"I
sighed.
Uponarr
ival
wewer ewelcomebyThabsi
l
ewho
hadbr
uisesonherfaceweari
ngmyman' sshi
rt
andmakingbreakf
ast.
Me:
"Whatt
hef
uckar
eyoudoi
ngher
e!'
Thabi
e:"
Hel
l
otoy
out
ooKonke"shesmi
rked
IswearIwantedtostr
angl
eher.HowcanI
na
di
srespectmeli
kethi
sfuckhi
sbabymamain
myownhouse! ?
Me:
"Nkosinamandla!
!"IscreamedasImademy
waytothebedroom.Hewasf astasl
eepIwent
tot
hebat hr
oom andfetchedwaterthenpouri
t
onhim hegaspedforair
I
na:
"Whatt
hef
uck!
"
Me:
"Howdar
eyou!
"
Ina:"
What?
"helookedatmel ikehedoesn't
knowwhatI '
mt al
kingaboutIfl
ippedand
slappedhi
m hard.Helookedatmeand
chuckledi
ndisbel
ief
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Ihat
ehowSi sKatpr eachbutnev erpracti
ce
whatshepr each.Firstshefal
l pregnantwi t
h
Lamiwhi l
eshewasbusyt el
li
ngmet ostay
awayfrom boy s.Secondherr elationshi
pwi t
h
PKstartedasf ri
endswi thbenef i
tsnowshe
sl
eptwithTbosebutsheexpectmet orespect
hernoi
nfactshedemandr
espectf
rom me.
Thisi sbull
shitI'
m humantooIgetti
redof
bullshit
.IknowImessedupIshoul dhaven'
t
toldPKi twasnev ermyi nt
ent
ionatall
tocause
harm.Af terthehurtful
wordsAuntySweli
hle
dishedoutt omeIgoti nmysist
er'
scarand
drov etoBangi .
Iwant
edsomeonewhowi l
lcomfor
tmeand
makemefeelbet
terandheist
hatonl
yone.
"Sshhdon'
tcr
yit
snotyourfaul
t"Wewerely
ing
onhisbedmeont opofhi
m cryi
ngmylungs
out
Me:"
Iti
sBangiIshoul
dhav
ekeptqui
etandnow
herf
amilyhat
eme"
Bangi
:
"Youdi
dn'
ttel
lTboset
opul
lagun"
Me:
"I
twoul
dnthav
ecomet
othathav
eIshut
mymouth"
Bangi
:
"Yoursist
erist
oocontr
oll
ingand
demandsrespectwhi
leshebehavel
ikeawhor
e.
Shewaspregnantwithot
herman'
schi
l
drenbut
shesl
eepswithotherman"
Me:"Exact
lyBangibutsti
ll
Ishoul
dn'thavetel
l
PK.Shewi l
lneverfor
giv
emef orthelossofher
babies.Whatwill
Ibeshei st
heonlyfamilyI
have"
Bangi:
"Youhavemenowdon'twor
ryIwil
ltake
careofyoushecangotohel
l
!"Hewipedmy
tear
s"Ihavesomethi
ngt
hatwil
lmakeyouf eel
bett
er"
Igotupf
rom him heleanedov
erandopeneda
bedsi
dedrawertookoutasmallpackett
hat
hadwhit
epowderi nsi
de
Me:
"What
'st
his?
"
Bangi
:"
Itwi
ll
makeyouf
eelgood"Heopenedit
anddughisl
ongl
it
tl
efi
nger
'snai
landsnuffi
t.
Me:
"I
sthi
scocai
ne?
"
Bangi:
"Asknoquest
ionsandenj
oyt
hegood
feel
i
ngmyl ove"
Me:
"NoI
'
mfi
ne"
Bangi
:
"Comeonst
handwasami
"
Me:
"Ha.
a"
Bangi:
"I
twil
ldoy ougoody ouwil
lsee"Inear
ed
mynoseonhi slongnailandsnuffthewhit
e
powderIfel
tli
keIwasi nheaven."Howdoy ou
feel
"
Me:"
Ilovethef
eel
ing"Hetookhisbook,
car
d
andtwohundrednote.Westar
tedcompeti
ng
whowi l
lhavemoreli
nesi
nseconds
Bangi
:"Youcancomest aywithmeany t
imeif
yourwhoresisterki
cky ouout "IlaughedIdon'
t
whyIguessitst hecocaine"Iremembery ou
oncetoldmet hatyousisterjoinedsomepol i
cy"
Me:
"Yeah"
Bangi:
"Damnl
ooknowifshedi
edt
oget
herwi
th
hertwi
nswewill
beri
chnow"
Me:
"Youarecr
azy
"Webursti
ntol
aught
eritwas
r
eal
l
yf unt
heecst
asyf
eel
i
ngmademef or
get
aboutthei
nnocentsoulsIki
ll
ed,
thepainI
causedmysister,
mymom whoi smi ssi
ng,my
dadwhodeniedme, Lami whoIl
efthim wi
th
Preesi
ncebutiPKandTbosewer enotinthe
houseandenjoyedmy sel
f.
•
SQALOKUHLE
•
Ihavebeenstari
ngatt
hedoorhopi
ngmy
famil
ywill
walkedint
oseemebutnoneof
them came.
Iwasstar
tingtogetworri
edtheycan'tallj
ust
notseemeev enmyt winsist
erwhoisal ways
wit
hmel i
keshewasi nmom' swombdi dn'
t
come.Ial
lowedmyt earstofall
effor
tl
esslyI
fel
tnegl
ected.Thenursewalkedintobringme
somemedsIj usthaddinner.
Me:
"Whatt
imei
sitnur
se?
"
Nur
se:
"8:
00pm"
Me:
"Myf
ami
l
ydi
dn'
tcomet
oseemet
oday
?"
Nurse:
"NoMissSi
thol
e"Shesaidgivi
ngmet he
meds.Idownthem t
hensheleft.Si
hlewal
ked
i
nIwant edt
osmilebutwherewasshet he
wholedaywhenIneededher?Ihadimmense
pai
nsthisaf
ter
noonIthoughtIwasgonnalose
mybaby .
Si
hle:
"HeyTwi
nni
e"
Me:"
Hey
"Shecamet
ohugmeIdi
dn'
tret
urnt
he
hug
Si
hle:
"Ok-
ayhowar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
"
Me:
"Sonowy
oucar
e"
Si
hle:
"Ofcour
seIcar
esi
s"
Me:"
Its8o'cl
ockSihlet
hewhol
edayhowdo
youthinkIwasfeel
ingwhennoonecamet
o
seeme"
Si
hle:
"Noonecame?
"
Me:
"I
tsoundbet
terwheny
our
epeaty
our
sel
f"
shesi
ghed
Sihl
e:"I'
m sor
rysi
sIdidn'
tknownoonecame.
I
m sur eevery
oneisdevast
atedwi
thI
ssyl
osi
ng
thebabies"Myheartski
ppedabeat
Me:
"Shel
ostt
het
wins?How?
"
Sihl
e:"
TboseandPkwer ef
ighti
ngoveragun
shewast r
yingt
ostopthem fr
om f
ighti
ngand
gotshotonherstomach"
Me:"Ohno!"Newt earsrandownmyf ace.No
onedeser v
esuchhor ri
blepain.Ican'teven
i
magi nethepai nsheisgoingt hrough.Issyis
mysi st
erIfeel herpai
nIl oveher .Iwaswr ong
forblamingherIwashur tandangr ylookingfor
someonet obl ameast heot herwomanI
blamedher .Icouldn'
thelpbutbur stintotear
s
Me:
"Howi
sshenow?
"
Sihl
e:"
Shehaven'tsaidawordnorcr
iedi
tsso
sadcozwedon' tknowwhatisgoingoninher
headsheisdanger oustoher
sel
fwhensheis
l
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"OMGWhi
chhospi
tal
isshei
n?"
Si
hle:
"Thi
shospi
tal
?"
Me:
"Real
l
y?"
Si
hle:
"Yes"
Me:"Wowandy ouguyscouldn'tpassbyand
checkonmeorat l
eastspli
ts.YouseewhatI
sai
dandy ousaidI
'm makingthisup.I
ssyis
gett
ingt
oomuchat tent
ionandl ovebutweare
bothhur
ti
ng"Isobbed
Si
hle:
"Thati
snott
rue"
Me:"Itt
rueSi hle.Iunderstandthepai nis
multipl
enowbutIwoul dhav eappr eciatedif
youguy scamet oseemet oo.Iwasi n
excruci
ati
ngpai nthewhol edayIneeded
someoney ouknownami toholdmyhandand
tel
lmei t'
sgoi ngt obeokaymybabywi llbefi
ne
butnoal lofy ouwer einIssy'
sr oom.It'sokay
i
t'sfi
ne"Iwi pedmyt ears
Si
hle:
"Kuhl
e..
."
Me:
"Iwantt
obeal
onepl
easego"
Si
hle:
"Twi
nni
eI.
."
Me:"Justgo!
!"Itur
nedtheothersideandcr
ied
mylungsoutasshewal kedout.Ifel
thi
sar
ms
engulf
ingme.Lor dknowshowIhav ebe
year
ningtobei narms
Phaks:
"Sshhdon'
tcr
y"
Me:
"WhyPhaks?Howcoul
dyoudot
his"
Phaks:
"I
'm sor
rybaby"Isatupstr
aightand
l
ookedathim helookedsobrokenhiseyes
werebl
oodr edandswollen.
Me:
"Am Inotenoughf
ory
ou?Wheredi
dIgo
wr
ongthatmadey out
ocheatonme?"
Phaks:"Youdidn'
tdoanythingwrongbabyIm
sorryforthepainyouar
ef eel
ingIwishIcan
takeitback"
Me:
"Youhur
tme,
youdest
roy
edmeIt
rust
ed
y
ou!
"
Phaks:
"Iknowpl
easef
orgi
vememyl
oveI
'
m
real
l
ysorry"
Me:
"Doy
oul
oveher
?"
Heswal
l
owedhar
d
Phaks:
"Yes"
Me:
"Doy
oul
oveme?
"
Phaks:
"Yes"
Me:"Youcan'
tl
ovet
wopeopl
eatt
hesamet
ime
Phaks"
Phaks:
"ButIdol
ovey
ouguy
s"
Me:
"Whodoyoulovemore"Helookeddown
myhear
tcl
enchedpai
nful
l
y"Youloveher
mor
e?"
Phaks:
"Okusal
ayoIl
ovey
out
oo"Iwai
l
edl
oudl
y
Me:"
Afterev
ery
thi
ngyoupromisedme, af
ter
sacr
if
icesImadefory
ouisthi
swhaty oudoto
me.YoubeggedmePhakst ostayher
ewhi l
e
y
ouknewy
ouar
echeat
ingonme"
Phaks:
"Idi
dn'
twantt
olosey
oubaby
"
Me:"I
thur
tPhaksdeepdownandIst
il
ll
oveyou
Idon'
twanttolosey
ou"Hesmashedhi
sli
pson
minewekissedsopassi
onat
ely
.
Phaks: "SqalokuhleIlov ey ousomuch.Youar e
abeaut if
ul,i
ntell
igent,sexy ,funnywoman.
Thanky ousomuchf ort hegi fty ouar ecar ing"
Heki ssedmyst omach" Il
ov ey oubot hwi thall
myhear t
.Ipromi setobewi t
hy ouwhenev er
youneedme.I 'm sorryforhur tingy ouandI
don'twantt ohur tyouany mor e.Don' tblame
your selfforthepai nIputy out hr oughI'mt he
onewhowasn' treadyfory ou.IfIdi dn'tcheat
ony ouIwoul dn'thavef all
eni nl ov ewi t
hy our
sister.Iwassupposet obecont entwithy ou
alone.Iwasn' treadyfory oubabyandasl ong
Kati sst i
llal
iveIwi l
lnev erber eadyf ory ou
pleasef orgivememyhear tchoosesher .Lor d
knowsInev ermeantt ohur ty ouI '
m sorry"
Tear
swer
efal
l
ingonhi
sface
Me:"
Phaksnoy
oucan'
tdot
hatIl
ovey
ou"I
cr
ied
Phaks:
"Il
ovey
out
oobutIl
oveKatmor
e"
Me:"
PleasePhaksdon'
tdothi
sI'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
Ihel
dhimf ordearl
i
feandcri
edl
ouder
Phaks:
"I
'm sosorry
"Webot hcri
edmyheart
crumbl
edintopieces.Icoul
dn'
tbreat
hIwant
ed
todier
ightther
eandt hen
Me:"
Iwi
l
lrat
herdi
eift
her
e'snoy
ouandme
baby
"
Phaks:"
I'
m sor
ry.
..
I'
m sor
ry..I
'
m sorry
"Hekept
whisperi
ngi
nmyearasi fthosewordscan
mendmybr okenheart
.Istart
edsingi
ngforhi
m
asIwept
♪ ♪ ♪ Don'
tl
eav
emei
nthi
spai
n
Don'
tl
eav
emeouti
nther
ain
Comebackandbr
ingbackmysmi
l
e
Comeandt
aket
hist
ear
saway
Ineedy
ourar
mst
ohol
dme
Theni
ght
sar
esounki
nd
Br
ingbackt
hoseni
ght
swher
eIhel
dyoubesi
de
me
Unbr
eakmyhear
t
Sayy
ouwi
l
llov
emeagai
n
Undot
hishur
tyoucaused
Wheny
ouwal
kedoutt
hedoor
Andwal
kedoutofmyl
i
fe
Uncr
ytheset
ear
s♪ ♪ ♪
[
06/
01,
14:
39]W:
55
KUHLEKONKE
•
Me:
"Howdareyoufucky
ourbabymamai
nmy
ownhouseNkosi
namandla!
!"
Hechuckl
edandshookhi
shead
Ina:
"Youhavesomucht
rusti
nmehey
"Hesai
d
sarcast
ical
l
y
Me:"
Whati
sthatbi
tchbabymamaofy
our
s
doi
nginmyhouse!
!"
Ina:
"I'
m sorryforal
lowi
nghert osleepher ein
yourhouseshecameher ev erylateandshe
wasi nabadspaceIcoul dn'tletherleaveli
ke
that.YesIdon'tli
kethegir
lbutnohumanbei ng
deservetobet reat
edunfair
ly.Icouldhav e
takenhert omyhousebutIcoul dn'
tleave
Sbongaal one.Iknowit'
sdisrespectfulandI
apologiseforthat.
"
Me:"WhereisLi
z?Shecouldhav
estayedwi
th
Sbongawhi l
eyoutakecar
eofyourbabymama
i
ny ourhousehayi
laa!"
I
na:
"Li
ztookherbel
ongi
ngsandl
eft"
Me:
"Lef
t?Whywhathappened?
"
I
na:
"I
'm sur
eshewasashamedofwhatshedi
d"
Me:
"SpeakupI
na!
"
I
na:
"Sheseducedme"
Wowaf terwhatIhav edonef ort hatgirl.She
comesf rom av er
ypoorf ami lyIdidnotgav e
herjobonlyIalsopai dforherl i
ttlesister's
uni
versi
tyf eesandboughtt hem agoodhouse.
Theywer est ay
inginsomeol dshack.Ihat eto
seepeopl esuffer
ingwhi l
eIcanaf f
ordany t
hing
Iwantthat '
swhyIhel pbuti tsfunnyt hosev er
y
samepeopl earetheonet hatst abmei nt he
back.Whydot heyfinditeasyt obackst abme?
Whathappenedt oshowgr atit
ude?NowI '
m
donehelpingpeopl ecozt heyar eungr ateful.
Me:
"Soy
oudi
dn'
tfuck?
"
I
na:"
I'
m sodi
sappoi
ntedthatupt
othi
sdayy
ou
t
hinkI'
ddothatt
oyou."
Me:"
Whatam Isupposet
othinkwhenyour
babymamaisbusyinmykitchenwear
ingyour
t-
shi
rt
!"
I
na:
"Ar
eyoudoneshout
ingatmeandsl
appi
ng
meIwantt
otakeashower?"
Ibr
eat
houtl
oudl
y
Me:"I'
m sorrybabyIdi dn'
tmeant osl
apy ou.I
l
ov eyouInaandwhenIsawt hatgirl
inyourt-
shir
tIconcl udedlogical
ly
.I'm sorr
yforbreaking
upwi t
hy ouIcan' tl
i
vewi thoutyoumy
hormonesar eplayi
ngwi t
hme.Iwasi mpul si
ve
sthandwasami Iwanty oubackpl easeforgiv
e
me.Idon' tcarewhoappr ov eofusornoty ou
aretheoneIwantt ospendmyl i
fewith.
"
I
na:
"Ineedtoshower
"Hestoodupmaki
nghi
s
waytothebat
hroom Igr
abbedhi
sar
m
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryI
namandl
aI'
m sososor
ry"
Ina:
"IfIwast heonewhosl appedy ouwi llyou
havef orgi
venme? "Ilookeddownt hinkinghard
abouthi squestion"Exact l
y.Whenamansl apa
womani t'
sast artofphy si
cal abusebutwhena
womansl apamani t
'stakenlightl
y.If ai
lto
under st
andwhy ?Arewenothumanl ikey ou
women?I t'
sallstartasacl apt henther est
foll
ow appl yinwomenonl ynotmen.Thewor ld
weli
vei
ncanconfusey
ouItell
you.Whatwi
l
l
st
opyoufr
om hi
tt
ingmeagain?"
Me:
"Iwon'
tbabyIswearIact
edoutofanger
..
."
Hecutmeoff
I
na:"Thiswon'tbethel
astti
meI m sureabout
thatsot hatmeanswhenyouareangr yIhaveto
understandthatyouwil
lwakemeupwi thcol
d
water,shoutatmel i
keI'
my ourchil
dandslap
mei sthatwhatareyoutry
ingtosayt ome?"
Me:"NoI
namandlathi
swasthefi
rstandlast
ti
meIwil
lnevereverhi
tyouagai
n.I
'mreall
y
sorr
y"
I
na:"
Ifi
twastheot
herwayar
oundwoul
dyou
hav
ebeliev
eme?"
Me:"YescozIknowy
ouI
nay
ouwi
l
lnev
err
aise
yourhandatme"
Ina:
"Okay
"Hemadehiswaytothebathr
oom.I
sunkonthebedthi
nki
ngaboutwhathaveI
donetearsf
all
i
ngonmyface.Ihear
dwater
runni
ngaf t
erawhilehecamebackt owel
wrappedar oundhi
swaisthisupperbody
coveredwithdropsofwaterlooki
ngall y
ummyI
foundmy selfdr
ooli
ngthr
oughmyt ears.
Me:"Ngi yaxolisaJobepl easef orgiveme. "(I
'm
sorry)Hesai dnot hi
ng, droppingt het owel on
thef l
ooranddr i
edhimsel f.Jesust ortureItell
you" Pleasebehav e"Iwhi speredt omycl it
.I
watchedhi m dr yi
ng,smear i
nglotiononhi s
bodyandget tingdresswi thoutsay ingawor dto
him.Itlikehecoul dseet hathewast urningme
ont hewayhewassosl owi nev erythi
nghewas
doingIcr ossedmyl egstoget her."Letmemake
i
tupt oy ouplease.Iwi llcooky ourf avour i
tewe
wil
l havedi nnerj ustthetwoofus"
I
na:"
Ihavepl
anst
oni
ght
"Hesai
dspr
ayi
nghi
s
f
ragrance
Me:
"I
napl
ease"
I
na:"
Imtaki
ngmybit
chbabymamat ot
he
doct
orIwil
lseey
a"Hewalkedout
.Myhear
t
cl
enchedpai
nful
Ifol
l
owedhim behi
nd.Lwazi
wasgivi
ngThabi
eanear
ful
Thabi
e:"
OhIwasaboutt
obr
ingy
oubr
eakf
asti
n
bed"
Ina:
"Whogav
eyouaper
missi
ont
owearmyt
-
shir
t?"
Thabi
e:"
NooneIwasj
ust
..
."
I
na:
"Takei
tof
fnow"Thabi
edisappear
edwhi
le
I
natookabot
tl
eofwateri
nthefri
dge"Howar
e
y
ouLwazi"
Lwazi
:
"I'
mfi
neI
nahowar
eyou"
I
na:"
I'
m al
sofi
ne"Thabi
ecamebackwear
ing
herdr
ess."
Let
'sgo"
Thabi
e:"
Whataboutbr
eakf
ast
?"
I
na:
"St
opaski
ngquest
ionsThabi
eandcome!"
Hesai
dashemadehiswayoutwithThabi
e
f
oll
owi
ngbehi
nd.
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryNkosi
namandl
a"Iunder
stand
thatThabsileisbruisedandallbutIwon'tli
eto
youandsayt heattentionI
naisgivi
ngher
doesn'thurtme.Hest oppedonhistracksand
turnedtolookatmef oramomentwel ocked
eyesoneachot her.
Hewalkedtowar
dst
omeandpulledmeto
hi
mselfwit
hmywaistt
henki
ssedtheday
li
ght
outofme.
Thekisswassopassionateandemot i
onalI
couldn'
tmi sst
hemessagethroughit"
Letj
ust
kissandsaygoodbye"Tear
srandownmyf ace
hepulledbackandwipedmyt earswit
hhis
thumbst henhewal
kedoutwithThabie.
Lwazi
:
"What
'sgoi
ngon?
"
Me:
"ImessedupLwazi
"
Lwazi
:
"Whatdi
dyoudo?
"
Me:
"Isl
appedhi
m"
Lwazi
:"
AwKonkeIunder
standyouwereangr
y
butt
oraiseahandonhi
mt hatwast
otal
l
y
wrong.Whatdi
dhesayaboutThabi
ebei
ng
here"
Me:"
Heapologi
zedforal
lowi
nghertosl
eep
her
eshewasi nabadspaceasyoucansee
howbrui
sedsheis"
Lwazi:
"Heshoul
dhav
etakenhert
ohi
shouse
tshi
n!"
Me:"Hecouldn'
tleaveSbongaherealonesince
Lizl
eft.Youwon'tbeli
evethatbi
tchseduced
him aft
erever
ythingIhavedoneforherandher
family
"
Lwazi
:
"Ungr
atef
ulbi
tchnx!
"
Me:
"Ihav
elosthi
m Lwazi
andi
t'
shur
ti
ngme"
Lwazi:
"Ihat
etosayitbutyouaretheonewho
pushedhimt othebabymama.Youcan' tj
ust
deci
det oendtherel
ati
onshi
pjustli
kethataf
ter
ever
ythingyouguyshavebeenthroughtoget
her
.
"
Me:
"ButIwanthi
m backnowmyemot
ionswer
e
al
lov
erthepl
aceIshoul
dn'
thav
ebr
okenup
wi
thhim"
Lwazi
:"
Andhemustt
akey
oubackjustl
i
ket
hat
unt
ily
oudeci
det
odit
chhi
m agai
n?"
Me:
"Youar
enothel
pingy
az"
Lwazi
:"
I'
m bei
nghonestwit hyouKonke.Stop
bei
ngegocentr
icthatguyloveyoufi
ghtforhim
don'
tl
etthatbi
tchtakehim backheisyours"
Me:
"Thanky
ouIneededt
oheart
hat
"
Lwazi:"
Igott
agonow"Wehuggedt henIwalked
herout.Shehootedonceanddr oveout.Iwent
tocheckonmysonwhowassl eepingpeaceful
hemusthav esleptlatelastnightcozhenev er
sleeptil
lthi
stime.Ikissedhist i
nylipsand
wenttoattendtheintercom.TosayIwas
surpr
isedwillbeanunder tst
ament .
"
CanIcomei
npl
ease"
Me:"
Yesofcour
se"Imadeaspacef
orhi
mto
comein.
Dad:
"Howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'mf
inedadhowar
eyou?
"
Dad:
"I
'm al
sof
ine"
Me:
"Doy
ouwantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
"
Dad:
"Not
hanky
ou"
Me:"
Comethissi
de"Wewalkedtot
hel
ounge
andsatondownnextt
oeachother
.
Dad: "
Uhm"Hecl ear edhist hroat"I
'm sorryfor
disowni ngyoumychi ldIwaswr ongbutIdi dit
outofl ove.Iwant edt hebestf oryouandI
thoughty ouwi ll
changey ourmindbutnoy ou
wer estubbornIt hinkIhav emy selftobl
amef or
that"Hechuckl ed" Al l
Iwant edwasf oryout o
fi
ndamant hatismat uredandol denought o
takecar eofy ouandSbonga.Nkosi namandl a
wasn' tthatmani nmybooksbuthepr ovedme
wr ongIwantt otellyout hatyouhav emy
blessingandIl ovey ousomuch.Iwi l
lbev ery
happyi fwer econci l
eImi ssmypr incess."
Icouldn'
trepl
ybutcryLordknowsIhavebeen
dreamingaboutthisdayforyear
snowandI
somehowl osthope."Sshhit
sokaydon'
tcry
"
Hepul l
edmei nhisarmsohhowIhav ebeen
yearni
ngforthi
s
Me:"
Thankyousomuchdaddy
.Imi
ssyout
oo
andIwil
lhappyt
ohav
emydaddyback"
Dad:
"Thanky
ouf oraccept
ingmyapol
ogy"He
ki
ssedmyhairandstrokedmybackunti
lIwas
cal
meddown."Sowheni sInapay
ingl
obola"
Ipul
l
edbackandl
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Al
readyhuh?
"Hel
aughed
Dad:"
Itstimetof ort
heSit
hole'
stobri
ngback
mymoney ."Il
aughedtheSit
hole'
schargedhi
m
1m forSihle'
slobolacanyoubeli
eveit?"Iwil
l
doubletheamountt heymademet opayformy
wif
e"Iey eball
edhim
Me:
"Noway
sdad2m!
!"
Dad:
"Yesbabengi
l
ayaangi
thi
Iwi
l
lgi
vet
hem
t
het
ast
eoft
hei
rmedi
cine"
Me:
"2mi
l
li
onphot
hat
'sr
idi
cul
ousdad"
Dad:
"OrIwi
l
ljustt
aket
het
axi
sort
hehot
el"
Me:
"Dadno!
"Hel
aughed
Dad:"
Ican'
twaitf
ort
hatdayMawakhelomuzi
wil
lbesweati
ngonhisfor
ehead"Helaughed
Godthisman.ThewholedayIspenti
tindoor
s
watchingmovi
eswit
hmyf at
herandmyson
pr
icelessmomentever
.
•
THABSI
LE
•
Thedri
vewassi
l
entunt
ilhedeci
dedt
obr
eak
thei
ce
"
Whyar
eyounotl
eav
inghi
m"
Me:"
Heispay i
ngmyrentandhei
staki
ngcare
ofusI'
m unemploy
edNkosyIhavenoonemy
par
entsdisownedmeaftert
heyf
oundoutIwas
pregnant
."Itol
dhi
m mynewboy
fri
endis
beati
ngmeuphewassoangryandvery
sympatheti
c
Nkosy:
"Soyourat
herhavehim beat
ingy
ouup
l
ikeyouarehi
spunchingbag"
Me:"
Atl
eastmysoni
swel
ltakencar
eof
..
."He
cutmeoff
Nkosy:"
DammitmaanThabsil
ethatbast
ardi
s
goingtoki
l
lyou!Whoisgoi
ngtotakecareof
yoursonwhenyoudie?"
Me:"WhatshouldIdoNkosyhuh"Iaskedwi tha
neartear
svoice.Hesai
dnothinggrabbi
ngt he
steer
ingwheelhard.Wearr
ivedatthedoctorhe
gavemepi l
l
sf orpai
nandsomeoi ntment.
"ThankyousomuchIdon' tdeserveyourkind
treat
mentaf t
erwhatIdidt
oy ou"Wewer e
drivi
ngtothehospit
alnowandIwaseat i
ngKFC
myf avour
iteguesswhathestil
lremember s
Nkosy
:"Ihat
eyouf
orwhaty
oudi
dtomebut
youdon'tdeser
vet
obeapunchi
ngbag"Upon
arr
ival
Iledhimtoourson.
Me:
"Her
eishe"Hewassopeacef
ul
Nkosy
:"Whati
swr
ongwi
thhi
m"
Me:"
Nooneknowsandt hesi
cknessescal
ated
nowIdon'tknowwhatt
odopleasehelpNkosy.
Onebloodtestt
henIwi
lll
eav
ey oual
one"
Nkosy:"
OkayfinebutI'
m onl
ydoi
ngt
hisforhim
notyou.I'
dhateitt
oseemysonsufferwhil
e
ther
e'ssomethingIcandoIFhei
smyson"
Me:
"Thanky
ousomuch!
"Igav
ehi
m ahugehug
Nkosy:
"Geegir
lyouar
esuf
focat
ingme!
"Ipul
l
ed
backandgiggl
ed."
Whati
shisname"
Me:"Khwezi
"Het
ookhishandt
hemachi
nes
star
tedbeepi
ngr
api
dly
."Whati
sgoi
ngon"I
panicked
Nkosy:
"Iwi
l
lgocall
hel
p"Wi
thi
nmi
nutest
he
doct
orandanursewal
kedi
nandt
hrewusout
.
Me:"
WhatishappeningIcan'
tlosehim NkosyI
can'
t"Icr
iedt
hrowingmy sel
finhisarms
Nkosy:
"Youwon'tdon'
tcr
yhewi
l
lbeal
ri
ght
"A
whil
elatert
heycall
edusi
nmyboywasawake
Me:
"Boyboy
!"
Khwez
i:
"Mama"Ihuggedhi
mti
ght
lyi
nmyar
ms
Me:
"Imissy ousomuch"Iki
ssedhim onhi
s
f
aceall
ov erhegiggl
ed"
Ilov
ey ou"
Khwez
i:
"Il
ovey
out
oomommy
"
Nkosy
:"Ishoul
dgetgoi
ngnow"
Me:"
Don'
tyouwanttohol
dhi
m"Hehesi
tat
edat
f
ir
stbuthetookhi
m.
Nkosy
:"Heyboy
"
Khwezi:
"Hey o"Hesaidnestl
inghisheadonhis
fat
her'
schestwhost ar
tedstroki
nghisback
soft
lyIlookedatthem itwasabeautifulsi
ght
andit'
sonlyt henInoti
cetheresemblance.
Nkosy
:"Hei
sinnocenthedoesn'
tdeser
ve
anythi
ngbadt ohappentohim evenifhei
snot
myson.Iwi l
lrentyouanapart
mentandt ake
careofyouguy sforamonthwhi l
eyoulookfor
ajob.Iwil
lgi
vey ouonlyamont htol
ookfor
j
ob"
Me:
"Real
l
y?"
Nkosy
:"Yes"
Me:
"OhNkosyy
ouar
esoki
ndt
hanky
ouso
much"
Nkosy:
"I
'm notdoi
ngthi
sforyoubutfort
he
i
nnocentli
ttl
esoult
hatdoesn'
tdeser
veto
suf
fer
."
Me: "Iknowthankyou"YouseewhyIl ovehi
m
hei soneofaki ndandI'
m notlett
inghim go
thistimeIwillgoextr
amileuntil
hewakesup
from mychestev ery
daysorryKonkei t'
snot
hing
personal hewasneveryoursfr
om t hewordgo.
•
NARRATED
•
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
Therewasadar kcouldhangingovertheSithol
e
famil
yasi fi
tsnotenoughthatthei
rdaughters
arebeinghospit
ali
zedandoneoft hem lost
twinsMj i
snowmi ssingnooneknowswher e
heis.Zesuli
wehavebeencr yi
ngnonst opinher
husband'sembrace.Ever
yoneisdevastated
andwor r
ied.
Nhl
onipho:
"Di
dyoucal
lhi
sfr
iendsand
gi
rl
fr
iends?
"
Ina:
"Yesgr
andpaandt
heyal
lsai
dtheyhav
en'
t
seenhim"
Ndoniy
amanzi
:"
What'
sisgoi
ngonwit
hthi
s
f
amilybadl
ucksaf
terbadl
uckst
hisi
stoo
muchnow"
Nhloni
pho:
"Wewillf
indhi
m Mamazidon'
t
st
resstoomuch"Hesaidrubbi
ngherbackand
ki
ssedhercheek.
I
na:
"Uhm It
hinki
tsgott
odowi
thO2"
Wakhe:
"O2howismysoni
nvol
vedwi
tht
hat
not
ori
ousgangl
ord!
"
Ina:
"Mjcamet omeoneni ghtandsaidO2
tri
ckedhim andsaidheowehi m sohemust
stealf
ivecarsforhi
m ot
herwisehewill
massacreallofus"
Nhl
onipho:
"Andyousai
dnot
hingaboutt
his
Nkosi
namandla!
"
Ina:
"Wetoldgr
eatgrandf
athert
odealwithhim
andhesaidhewill
.Uhm Mj i
stheonethatshot
Issyandtookt
hecarshewasdr i
vi
ngtoO2"
Wakhe:"
Nonowhatar eyousayingtome
I
namandla?"Hestoodupfrom thecouchand
marchedtoInamandl
awhost eppedbackwards
I
na:
"I
'm sorr
ydadMj wasscar
edtotel
lyouguy
s
wemadet hestor
yaboutLami.Mj
istheone
t
hathi
jackedIssy
"Zesul
iwecr
iedl
ouder
Ndoni
yamanz
i:
"Amen!
"
Wakhe:"
Mysonshotmydaught
erandy
ousai
d
not
hingInamandl
a!!
"Her
oar
ed
I
na:"
I'
m sosor
...
"Hedidn'
tfi
nishast
heclap
l
andedonhis"Isai
dI'
m sorr
yokaythere'
sno
needfory
outolayyourhandonmear gg!"
Wakhe:"
Heyheymi ndhowy outal
ktome!!
"He
sl
appedhim agai
n.Inagr
oanedi fWakheisnot
hi
sfatherhewouldhaveslappedhi
m backthat
howhottheclapwas.
Zesul
i
we:"
Stopsl
appi
ngmyson
Mawakhel
omuziandgol
ookforourson"
Sihlewal
kedinlooki
ngall
wor ri
edthatshe
forgott
ogreetbutwentstr
aighttotheppoi
nt
Si
hle:
"Sqal
okuhl
eisher
e?"
Luy
anda:
"Hel
l
otoy
out
ooSi
hle"
Si
hle:
"Mor
ningev
ery
onei
smyt
winsi
sterher
e?"
Ndoni
yamanz
i:
"Shei
satt
hehospi
tal
nje"
Si
hle:
"Shei
snott
her
etheysai
dshedi
schar
ged
her
sel
f"
Zesul
i
we:
"Whatdoesthatsupposetomean
howcoul
dshedischar
gedherself
?"
Sihl
e:"
Ithink..Ithi
nksheleft
"Shesaidwi
tha
neartearsv oice"Lastni
ghtIwentt
oseeher
shewasv erybroken"
Zesul
iwe:
"Pl
easedon'
ttel
lmeshel
ostt
he
baby?
"
Sihl
e:"Shewassosadt hatnoneofy oucamet o
seehery esterdaywhiley ouguy swer eatthe
verysamehospi t
alshei swi thIssyhowcoul d
younotgoandseehuh? "Nooner esponded
"Wowy ouforgot!Ican'tbel ieveyouguy sright
now.Iunder standIreallydounder standthat
youar ebondingwi t
hI ssyandal lbutKuhleneed
ustooshei sal sogoingt hroughar oughpat ch
j
ustlikeIssy.Howcoul dy ouf orgotabouther
Mama, Dad,whatkindofpar entsarey ou?What
kindofgr andparentsar ey ouGogonoMkhul u?
Whatki ndofabr otherar ey ouInamandl a?
Aunt
ySweandAuntyLuyandawhatki
ndof
aunt
sar
eyouhuh!
!"Shecried
I
na:
"Youneedt
ocal
m downsi
s..
."
Sihl
e:"
Don'tyoufucki
ngdaretel
lmetocal m
downI na.Mytwinsist
erisoutt
herealoneand
pregnantonlyGodknowshowi sshewher ev er
sheis.Shewasi npainthewhol
edayy est
er day
sheneededusbutwewer enevert
heretohol d
herhandsopl easedon'ty
oudaretal
kshit!!
"
Shescr eamedtearsstr
eamingdownherf ace
Wakhe:
"Mi
ndhowy
ouspeak.
..
."Shehi
m of
f
Sihl
e:"
Haisukafuckof
ftoev
eryone!
"Sheran
outcryi
ng.Shewouldhadbeenther
eforher
twinsi
sterbuthersonhadr
ashandwas
vomiti
ngthatwhyshecamelate.
ATTHEWAREHOUSE
Tbosecal
ledtheguysyesterdayandtoldthem
todealwi
ththeguyhissisterl
osthertwinshe
needtobewithher.Theguy shavebeen
tor
turi
ngMj tothepoi
ntthathi
sbodyfel
tnumb
butthatpainwasbett
erthentheonehewas
experi
encingri
ghtnow.
"Ohshity
ouarereall
ygoodcheeseboy!Uhh
fuckyouaregoodthenmygirl
fr
iend"Groaned
theguyontopMj ashewaspenet r
ati
nghim
anall
y.
•
TBOSE
•
Me:
"Saysomet
hingpl
easeKat
"
Shewasj ustst
ari
ngatmewi thnoemot i
on.I
havenev erseenherli
kethi
s.I
thur ttoseeher
l
ikethisandwhathur tmoreI'
mt her eason
behindherpain.Ivowedtomy selftoprotect
herbutlookwhatdi dIdotoher,Ikil
ledher
preciousgif
ts.
Howwi l
lIl
i
vewithmysel
fwiththatf
act?I
shoul
dhavehandledt
hesit
uati
onbetter
.
"I'
m sor r
yKatI'
m sososor ryI'
m sorrythatmy
sorr
ywon' terasethepainIcausedy ou.Inever
meantt ohurtyouman"Hav eyouev erlove
someonesomucht hatyou'dsacri
fi
ceany t
hing
forthem evenifi
tshurt.Ihavealway sloved
Katy esIadmitILOVEHER butwhenIsawhow
shelov ePKandhowhappyshewasIl etherbe.
"I
'm sorr
y"Iwi
pedmyt ear
st hatcoul
dn'
tstop
f
all
ing.Iwasbeyondshatt
eredhowIwi sh
I
couldundoneevery
thi
ng.
"Idon' tdeser veyourforgiv
enessIknowbutI 'm
sosor ry .Iactedoutofanger .Youhav enoidea
howi thur tmet oseey ouinpain.Ihatewhathe
didtoy ouIwant edt okil
lhimfort hepai
nhe
causedy ou.Wheny ouar ehurtIlosemymi nd
andwannat urnthisworldupsidedown.Ihat e
my selft hatyouar elyi
nginthisbedandy ouare
i
nt hispai nbecauseofme.I mr eallysor
ryI
hopey ouf inditi
ny ourhearttoforgiveme"I
ki
ssedherf orehead
"
Remov eyourst
inki
ngmout
hfr
om her
f
orehead!
!"
Me:
"PKIdon'
thav
eener
gyt
ofi
ghtokay
"
PK:"Youkil
ledmyt winsTbose!Hady ounot
pull
edoutagunnoneoft hiswouldhave
happened!"Heat tackedmet hi
si swhatIcant
stand.Ican'twatchanot hermant odoashe
pl
easeswi thmebuti fthiswill
makehi mf eel
betteri
t'
sokay .Iall
owedhi mtopunchmeov er
andov eruntil
wehear dal oudpierci
ngcryfrom
Kat.
Me:
"Kat
"Iwentt
oherandt
ookherhand
PK:"Getawayfr
om her
!!
"hepushedmeasi
de
"BabyI'
m sor
ryImreal
l
ysorr
y"Hetri
edt
ohug
herbutKatpushedher
Kat
:"
Leav
emeal
onePK!
"
PK:
"BabyI
..
"
Kat:
"Isai
dgo!
!"shecr
iedPKwalkedoutI
fol
l
owedhi m"
Tbose"webothturnedand
l
ookedather" Don'
tgoplease.
"Shesobbed
"Comeandhol dmeplease.Tellmethatthi
s
painwil
lpassIwill
befine"Iwenttoherand
kickedoffmyshoesthengotnexttoherbefor
e
pulli
ngherinmyarms.PKl ookedatustear
s
randownhi sf
ace
PK:
"Il
ovey
ouKi
kat
"Het
urnedandwal
kedout
.
[
06/
01,
14:
39]W:
56
TBOSE
•
Herhear
twrenchi
ngsobspier
cedt
hroughmy
hear
tasshewaswr appedi
nmyarms.
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryKatI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.I
tsal
lmyf
aul
t"
Kat
:"
It
'snoty
ourf
aul
tTbosei
tsmyf
aul
tIsho.
..
"
Me:"NoKatdon' tbl
ameyour
sel
fyoudidn'tdo
anyt
hingwr ong.I'
mtheonewhopull
edagunI
shouldn'
thaveI'mreal
l
ysorr
y"Mytearsfallon
herhair.
Kat:"
ItsallmyfaultTbose.I
'mtheonewhof all
i
nl ovewithPKI '
mt heonewhobel iev
edhisli
es,
I'
mt heonewhowasaf ool,I
'
mt heonewho
sleptwithyou,I'
mt heonewhohi tThando,I
'
m
theonewhot r
iedtost opyouguy sfr
om
fi
ghting.It
sallmyf ucki
ngfault
!"Shesobbed
Me:"St
opbl amingy oursel
fforthepai
nPKput
youthrough.Youdi dn'
tknowhewaspl aying
you.Youcouldn'tjustsitKatandwatchuski l
l
eachotherinfrontofy ou.Youactedlikea
normal per
sonI'mt heonewhowasnev er
supposet opul
l t
hegunf r
om thefi
rstplace.
"
Shecr i
edinagonyIr anmyf i
ngersonherhair
massagi ngherscul pthatal
waysdoesthetrick
herloudsobst urnedi nt
osoftsobsunti
lIheard
herbr eathrel
axing.Ilookedathershehad
fal
l
enasl eep.Itookmyt i
megazingather.Kat
i
sthemostbeaut i
fulgir
lyoucaneverseen.
Shedoesn'tdeser
veallt
hispai
nshe
encount
eredinherli
fe.I
thurtt
oseetheseboy
s
ri
ppingherhear
tof fl
ikesheisnohumanwhileI
knowdeepdownt hatifshewaswithmeher
heartwi
llbesti
l
linonepi eceandf
ill
edwithj
oy.
Istol
eakissonhersof tli
psandslowlyl
ayher
downshest i
rr
ed.
Me:
"Sl
eepi
t'
sokay
"
Kat
:"
Don'
tl
eav
emepl
ease"
Me:"
Okaynowsleep"Herpar
ent
sandher
gr
andmotherwal
kedin.Theygr
eet
edandI
gr
eetedback.
Mr
sSJnr
:"
Howi
sshet
oday
?"
Me:
"Shewascr
yingIcomf
ort
edher
"
MrsSSnr:
"Oht
hankGodat
leastshecr
ied.I
wasget
ti
ngworri
ed"
Mr sSJnr
:"Youseem t
oknowthebut
tonsto
presswebeggedherthewhol
edaytocry
yester
day
"
Kat
:"
Stoptal
ki
ngaboutmel i
keI'
m nothere"We
l
aughed.Sheopenedherswol
leneyes.Ij
umped
of
fbedandwearmysneaker
s.
MrS:
"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngl
i
ttl
eangel
"
Katshr
uggedhershoul
dersast
ear
smaki
ng
thei
rwaydownhercheeks.
MrsSSnr :
"It
sgoingtobeokaysweethear
t"She
wrappedherar msaroundKatwhobursti
ntoa
l
oudcr y
.Theat mospherewasmelanchol
yI
wipedmyt earsvi
gorousl
y."
Im sor
rysoso
sorr
y"
Kat:
"It'
spainafterpai
n.Whenwi llIgetpeacein
mylife.Meetingyouguy swassupposet obri
ng
peacebutev eryt
hingisspir
all
i
ngoutofcont rol.
Whathav eIdonet odeservethis"Shel aughed
outloud"Whoam Iki ddingIknowwhathav eI
done.Mysinsar ecatchingupwi thme"
MrS:"
Litt
leangelyoudi
dn'tdoanyt
hingwr
ong
don'
tblamey our
self
.Al
lthispai
nyoudon'
t
deser
veit"
Katwi
pedhert
ear
svi
gor
ousl
yandchuckl
ed
Kat:
"Youdon'
tknowmedaddyandI
'm surei
f
youcanhearwhatIhav
edoneyouwi
llchange
thewayyoulookatme."
Me:
"Kat
..
."
MrsSSnr :
"Don'
tst
opherboyl
ethert
akeout
ever
ythi
nginherhear
titwi
l
lhel
p"Il
ookedat
Katandshookmyhead
Kat
:"
It
'st
imeTbosei
t'
sti
meIf
acemydemons"
Me:
"KHETHOKUHLEst
opi
tpl
ease!
"
Mr
sSJnr
:"
What
'sgoi
ngonher
e"
Me:
"Katwepl
edgedr
emember
?"
MrS:"
Heyboywewantt
oknowwhati
sgoi
ng
on!
"
Me:
"Not
hingi
sgoi
ngonMrSexcuseme"I
mademywayouthegr
abbedmyhand
MrS:
"Don'
tmakememadt
alk!
"
Kat
:"
Let
'shi
m goDadhedi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng"
MrS:
"DoIl
ookst
upi
dtoy
ouI
ssy
?"
Kat
:"
Ofcour
senotdaddy
"
MrS:
"Tal
kdammi
t!
!"
Kat
:"
Iki
l
ledPhuml
a!"Shecr
ied
"
What
?"Ev
ery
bodychant
ed
"
Isweari
twasnevermyplantokillher.
..
."She
wentonandtol
dthem whathappened.Byt hat
t
imehergrandmot
herandmom wer ecry
ing.
Mr
sSJnr
:"
OMGt
hisi
stoomuch"
Kat:"
Godi spunishingmeandi thurt
sbutit
servesmer ighthuh."Shelaughed"Whathurti
s
thatmyt winswer erobbedachancet ol
ive
becauseofmysi ns.Idon'
twantLami tosuff
er
formysi nsIbetterhandmy selfi
nandbe
punished"
"
Nooo!
"Weal
lsai
datonce
MrS:"
Angel"Hecuppedherface"
Lookatme"
Katl
ookedathim"Thishav
et ost
ayasasecr
et
doyouhearme?"
Kat
:"
Butdaddy
..
."
MrS:"
Idon'twanttohearitI
ssy!Noonei
s
goi
ngtojai
l whataboutThandoandLamihuh?
Haveyouthoughtaboutthem?"
Kat:
"Theyhaveyouguys.NomatterhowIcan
i
gnorethisI
twil
lalwayshauntmedaddy.Ineed
toservemysentence.
.."
MrsSSnr :
"ShutupIssy!Shutthehel
lupand
l
ist
ent oyourfat
her
!Itsnotli
kePhuml awasa
sai
nt.Shesoldpeoplet obeatyouup.You
coul
dhav ediedwhat'
sdonei sdone!
"
Kat
:"
But
..
."
Mr
sSSnr
:"
Godt
hischi
l
dshei
ssost
ubbor
n!"
MrsSJnr
:"
Iwonderwhodoesshet
akeaf
ter
"
Sheey
edhermom inl
awwhof r
owned
MrS:"
IfyouwanttoconfessIwil
ltakethefal
l
f
oryouIcan'tal
lowyoutogotojailIssyover
mytombstone.Eraset
hatnonsensei nyour
mindokay"Katnodded"Youcan'ttalknow?"
Kat
:"
YesdaddyIhear
dyou"
MrS:
"Goodwhoel
seknowaboutt
his?
"
Kat
:"
It
'sj
ustt
het
woofus"
MrS:"NowIunderstandt
hebondyout
wohave.
MyPIt ol
dmethatMngomezuluknowswher
e
Thando'smom whichnowconfi
rmedwi
thwhat
I
ssysaid."
MrsSJnr:
"Iwokeupwi t
hadream t
odaybuti
t
wasnotv
ivid.Whatst
rangei
sthatIwokeup
bl
eedi
ngfr
om mynose"
Kat:"
YouseewhatItoldy ouaboutPree'
smom
Mama.Shedi edwhenshewast ryi
ngtohelp
mef indMamaandal sofightt
hepeoplewho
wereagainstmyrel
ationshipwit
hPK.Ialmost
diedthatwomanhelpedmeshedi dn'
tdeserv
e
todieandIhaven'
tmadepeacewi thherdeat
h."
MrsSJnr:
"Don'
tworr
yIint
endtofi
ndoutIcan'
t
hel
pbutsensesomethi
nghugeisgoi
ngonhere
andI'
m af
rai
dyourf
ri
endDaddyKingis
i
nvol
ved"
MrS:
"Andy
ouhav
enev
erl
i
kedhi
m"
Mr
sSJnr
:"
Ican'
tfeel
him"
Kat
:"
I'
m scar
edMamawhati
fyoudi
etoo?
"
Mr
sSJnr
:"
Iwon'
tdi
eifGodhasn'
tcal
l
edme"
MrS:"
Lit
tl
eAngell
etmegoI m gladtoseeyou
tal
ki
ngyouhadmewor ri
ed.Yourli
tt
lebrot
heri
s
missi
ngandKuhl
eleftwedon'tknowwhereis
sheever
ythi
ngi
sjustamess"
Kat
:"
OhGodIhopeyoufoundt
hem bot
h.When
di
dMj wentmi
ssi
ng?"
MrS:"
Yesterdaythewholedaywedidn'
tsee
him.Wethinkhisdisappear
ancegott
odowith
youbei
nghi j
acked"
Kat
:"
Whatdoy
oumeanDaddy
?"
MrS:"
Uhm"Hecl ear
edhist
hroat"
Some
not
ori
ousganglordfor
cedhi
mt osteal
car
sfor
hi
m andyouhappenedtobetheonehe
hi
j
acked.I
'
m sor
ryl
i
ttl
eangel
hedi
dn'
tknow"
Kat
:"
Wai
tMji
stheonet
hatshotmeandt
ook
PK'
scar
?"
MrS:
"Yes"
Me:
"Ohshi
t!
"Icur
sedl
oudl
ymaki
ngev
ery
onet
o
l
ookatme
MrS:
"What
?"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMrSIdi
dn'
tknowal
lIwant
edwas
t
oavengeKat"
Kat:
"Nonodon'
ttel
lmey ouki
ll
edhi
m Tbose
youknowhim moshowcany ounotseehi
m
remembert
hedayy oucametofet
chus!"
Mr
sSJnr
:"
OhmyGoodness!
"
Me:"I
..
I.
..
"Ist
utteredthinki
ngofthehor
ri
ble
thi
ngstheguysmi ghthavedonetohi
m.He
couldbepossiblydeadbynow
MrS:
"Tal
k!!
"
Me:
"Myguy
sar
etheonet
hatf
oundhi
mI
haven'
tseenhim Iwassupposetogoy est
erday
butaft
erwhattranspi
redIt
oldthem t
odeal
wit
hhimI '
m sor
ry"
Mr
sSJnr
:"
Ohumt
anami
"Shebur
sti
ntot
ear
s
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
MrS: "
Pr aysonprayhei ssti
llali
ve.Let
'sgo!"
Wewal kedoutIwasshaki nginmypant s.What
haveIdonebutIdi dn'
tknow.Idi r
ectedhimto
thewar ehouse.Thesightwesawmademy
i
nsidecol d.St
egawasbusyont opofMj
penetratinghi
mf rom behind.MrSr anwi t
h350
speedandpul ledSt agaawayt henhepunched
him hardsendinghi mtot hefloor.
Stega:
"WhatthefuckT!
"Ididn'
tev
engeta
chancetoexplai
ncozMrSwaski cki
nghi
m
overandoverhegroaned.
MrS:"Whosesonareyoumakingyourwif
e
huh!!
"Heroaredi
nangerandkeptbeat
ingup
Stegamercil
essl
y.Hewasli
kean
uncontr
oll
abl
ebeastIwasevenafr
aidtopul
l
him back."Youbast ard!"Stega' sgr oansf i
lled
theroom unt il
theysuddenl ycamei nt
oahal t.
"Nx!"Hel ookedathishandst hatwer ecov ered
withbloodandspatonhi m bef or
eat t
endinghi s
sonwhowasl yingonacol df loori npain."I'
m
sorrysonI '
mr eall
ysor r
y "Hisv oi
cewasbr oke
hescoopedhi m upandwal kedout .Ifelt
Stega'spulsemyhear tbeataccel er at
edOhGod
heisgoi ngtoki l
lmet oo.Iwentt ot hecarmy
kneeswobbl i
ng.Mj wasr ushedt ot hehospi t
al
wewer enowwai t
ingfort hedoct orsf eedback
andIwasshaki ng.MrSwasseat eddownhi s
handsbur i
edonhi sheadhel ookedupatme
hiseyeswer ebloodshotr ed" Lett akeadr ive"
Me: "
I'
m sorryMrSIdi dn'
tknowitsMj
ngiyaxol
isa"Ibeggedt ear
sthr
eateningto
comeout .Hegrabbedmeoutandwegoti nhis
caranddr ovetothisdesert
edplace."I
'
m sor
ry
pleaseforgiveme"
MrS:
"Mydaught
erl
osthert
winsy
ouare
i
nvol
ved,
mysonwasrapedyouarei
nvol
vedt
ell
mewhatshoul
dIdoabouty
ouTbose?
"
Me:"I
'
mr eall
ysorry.
.."Ifeltahotclaponmy
cheekandgr oaned."IswearIdidn'tknowMrSI
wil
lneverhurtKat'
sbr otherdel
iberatel
yIcare
abouther.Ij
ustwant edhimt opayf orshoot
ing
KatIdidn'
tknowi t
'sMj "Icri
edthismani sscary
andhei sgoingtoendme
MrS:"
Youri
ntent
ionsar
egoodTbosear
eso
goodandyouknowwhatmakemeangry??
"
Me:
"No"Ishookmyheadv
igor
ousl
y
MrS:"Youareacowar d!"Hepunchedmehar dI
fal
lonthegr ound.Hepul ledmeupandl ooked
atme" Youwi l
lkil
lformydaught er
,youwil
ltake
yourli
feformydaught er.Thatloveboy,i
ntense,
deeplovebutwhatdi dy oudoaboutit?You
chosetohidey ourfeeli
ngsandbet hebest
fri
endwhywheny oucoul dhavemadehery our
ownwheny oucouldhav esavedusf r
om allt
his
mess!!"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
oseeherhappyandshel
ooked
happywi
thPK"
MrS:
"I
sshehappynow?
"
Me:
"No"
MrS:"
Youseebei
ngacowardwheredi
ditgot
us?
"Hepunchedmeagai
nIgroanedi
npain
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Icr
ied
MrS:
"Whatar
eyousor
ryf
or?
"
Me:"
ForthepainIputyourchi
ldrent
hrough
pl
easeforgi
veme...
."
Ididn'
tfi
nishhepunched
meagainIscreamed
MrS:"I
'
m puni
shi
ngy ouforbeingabl
oody
cowardyoumoronnx!"Heleftmether
e
spi
tt
ingbl
oodanddroveoff.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
3DAYSLATER
Thesayt i
meheal sit'
sbeen3day sIstil
lfeel
ever
yinchofpai ninmyhear t
.Don'tgetme
wrongbutIwi shthepainisoveralr
eady .I
tstoo
muchf oroneperson.Thef amil
yisgoing
thr
oughadi ff
icul
ttimewithMj bei
ngr apedand
Kuhle'
sdisappearance.
Mj i
sreall
ynotcopy i
ngcozhei sactingl
ike
everyt
hingisf i
neandnot hinghappened.My
heartachesf orhi
m.Iwi shIcant akeawayt he
painheisgoi ngthroughcozatt heendoft he
dayTbosewasav engingme.Ifonl yhetoldus
hewoul dn'
thav etogot hroughsuchhor ribl
e
thi
ng.Ifeelreall
ybadaboutev erythi
ng.
Alothashappenedwi thi
nat wi
nkli
ngofaney e
I'
mj ustgladitsEasterhol
idayscozIdon'tthi
nk
Iwoul dhav ecopewi t
hmyst udi
es.Ihaven't
seenPKsi ncethatdayIaskedhimt oleaveand
askedt oTboset ocomf ortme.
It
hinkthatmusthav
ehurthim butIdon'tcar
e
j
ustbecauseTboseandIfuckeddoesn'tmean
wearenolongerfri
endssonowImust ntask
myfri
endtocomf ortme?WhyactlikeIsaid
TbosefuckmeIjustneededsomeonet o
embracemeandPKwasnott hatsomeone.He
i
sresponsibl
eforal
l t
hepai
nI'
m goingthrough.
Ihaven'
tseenThandoIguesssheissti
ll
madat
me.Igetwhatsheistryi
ngtosaybutIm al
so
humanImakemi stakesli
keevery
one.Di
dn't
l
ikethewayshewasj udgi
ngmeasi fIsl
ept
wit
ht hewhol
ewor l
d.Lami i
sstayi
ngwithmy
parents
"Howareyoufeel
i
ngMi
ssMhl
ongo"Askedt
he
Psychol
ogi
st.
Me:
"Youhavebeenaski
ngmet
hatquest
ionf
or
3daysdon'
tyougett
ir
ed?"
Her:
"Nomosy ouar
enotr
epl
yingtome.I
'
m
her
et ohel
pyouMissMhl
ongo..
."
Me:"
Tal
kingwon'tbri
ngbackmybabi esso
pl
easej
ustleav
emeal one"It
urnedtothe
ot
hersi
deandhear dhersighoutthenshe
walkedout.Icaughthisscentbef
oreIl
ookup
athim..Heagedandl ookbrokenmyheart
broketoseehiml i
kethis.
PK:
"Ki
tKat
"
Me:
"Hi
"Hesatdownont
hepr
ovi
dedchai
r
PK:
"Howar
eyouhol
dingup"
Me:
"I
'm st
il
lbr
eat
hinghowar
eyou"
PK:"ImissyouKi
tKatthehouseissocol d
withoutyouI'
m sor
ryforeveryt
hingIneedy ou
ri
ghtnowmor ethenev er
.I'
m al
sohurti
ngf or
thelossofourbabi
es.Weneedeachot her"
Me:
"Imi
ssyoutooandI'
m sor
ryfory
ourloss.
"
Her
eachedformyhandandkissedt
hem
PK:"For
giv
emeKhet hokuhleIwrongedyou,I
hurtyoubey ondInevermeanttohurtyoubaby.
Youhav epunishedmeenoughnowpl easetake
meback.Il oveyousomuchKi t
KatandI'm
l
osingmymi ndwithoutyou.Myheartchooses
youbabyy ouaretheoneIwantandIwantus
t
ost
artov
er.Let
'sst
artov
er"
Me:"PhakamaniMngomezul uLordknowshow
muchdoIl ovey
ou.Ilovey ouboywi t
hal l
ofmy
heartandlifewi
thoutyouseem soi mpossi bl
e
butIcan'tdothi
s.Ican'tacceptyouwi thwarm
handsafterhurt
ingmysi sterl
ikethat.Shelove
youPKandshei scari
ngy ourbabyy oujust
gonnaditchherliket
hat?"
PK:"I
fther
ewasawayKatIwoul dhav edoneitI
al
sohat ewhatI'm doi
ngt oherbutIloveyou
more.Idon'twanttohur thert
rustmepl ease
butattheendoft hedayIhadt ochoose
betweenthet woandIy ou.Iwll
lchoosey ou
overandov eragai
n"
Me:"Howdoy ouexpectmetof eelknowingthat
mysi st
erisoutt herehear
tbrokenbecauseof
you?HowdoIt akeyoubackknowi ngmysi ster
i
scry i
ngov ery ou,
HowdoIbui l
dhappinessout
ofhermi sery.I'
m sorr
yPhakamani butmyhear t
choosesSqal okuhleandIwil
l chooseherov er
andov
er"Tear
sfal
lonmyf
ace.
PK:
"Babypleasedon'
tdothi
sI'
m beggi
ngyou.
I
'm sor
ry"Tearsfal
lef
for
tl
essl
yonhisface
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"Hest
oodupandsatont
hebed
wi
thme
PK:
"I
'm sor
ryI
'
mreal
l
y..
."Ipr
essedmyf
inger
onhi
slip
Me:
"If
orgi
vey
oubutIcan'
ttakey
ouback"
PK:"
Katpl
easehowwi
ll
Ifuncti
onwithoutyou"
Hewail
edli
keababymyheartcrumbled"Il
ove
you"
Me:"Il
oveyoutoobutI '
m afraidourrel
ati
onshi
p
havetocomet oanend. "Hecuppedmyf ace
andkissedmesopassi onatelywet ast
edthe
sal
tofourtearsastheyj oi
nt oget
her."
Don'tcr
y
wewi l
lbealr
ight
."Iwipedhist ear
swi t
hmy
pal
ms
PK:
"Pl
easedon'
thur
tmel
i
ket
hisKat
"
Me:
"YouknowInev
ermeantt
ohur
tyou
sthandwasami butwearebettersepar
ated.
"I
pressedmyforeheadagainsthiswestayinthat
positi
ont
earsroll
ingdownourf acesunti
lhe
start
edsi
nging.
♪ ♪ ♪ Whataboutmeandt
hepl
anst
hatI
made
Whataboutmyhear
tandt
hel
ovet
hatIhav
e
Whataboutt
hechi
l
dwewer
egonnar
aise
t
ogether
Whataboutmeoh
Decapi
tat
emenow,
rightnowohbabe
Rat
herbenomet
henno"
YouandMe"
I
'
drat
hertakeabull
etst
rai
ghtt
her
einmyhead
t
henl
eavewithouty
ouoh
Feel
i
ngt
hisf
reedom t
hatIdon'
tneed
Par
tofmywor
ldmi
ssi
ngwi
thout"
YouandMe"
Irat
hertakeabull
etst
rai
ghtt
her
einmyhead
thenli
vewithouty
ouoh♪ ♪ ♪
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
"wher
edoy
out
hinky
ouar
egoi
ng?
"Ij
umpeda
bit
Me:"
Ihav
etogohomeBangi
youcan'
tkeepme
l
ockedupinher
e"
Bangi
:
"Youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
e"
Me:
"ButBangi
..
."
Bangi
:
"Youar
emymeal
ticketsweet
hear
t"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumean"
Bangi :
"Iwasgoingt oeli
minat eyoursisterbut
thatwi l
lbealongpr ocesssoIhav edonemy
research.TheSithol
earef i
lthyri
ch.It
'sonl ya
mat teroftimetheygetwor riedabouty ouand
startlookingf
ory ou.RelaxmybabyIwon' thur
t
youIj ustwantmymoneyt henIwi l
ldisappear
l
ikeIhav eneverex i
sted"
Me:"
Youbast
ardy
ouwantt ousemeIt
hought
youl
ovemeBangi!
"Icr
ied
Bangi
:"
Lovei
snotf
orpeopl
ewhoar
eli
keme
Thando"
Me:"Youwon'tgetawaywiththi
s!!
!"Heslapped
mesohar dmyv isionst
uddedwithstar
s" Shut
thefuckup!
"Hesl appedmeagainandagai nI
cri
edinagony.
[
06/
01,
14:
40]W:
57
MZWAKHE
•
IthoughtIknewhowr ealpainfeelsyouknow
thatpai
nt hatshootstrai
ghtiny ourheartand
thatwheny our eal
izeyouarealive.I
twasnev er
thi
spainful whenIlostMamaorwasi tbecause
Iwasst i
l
ly oung.WhenPear l'
smom cal ledand
i
nf or
medmet hesadnewsIev erhadt ohearin
myl i
feIsawmyl i
fecr
umbling.
Myl
i
ttl
epr
incessi
sgoneandIdi
dnot
hing,
nothi
ngatallt
opr ot
ecther.Iwantedtokill
Pearlwi
thmybar ehandsforherrecklessness
butwouldthatbri
ngbackmypr incess?Ithurt
deepdowni tf
eelsli
keitst
heendoft hewor ld,
l
ikesomethingistwist
ingaspearinmyhear t,
l
ikesomeonei sstompingmercil
esslyonmy
heart
.
YesterdaywelaidhertorestIsti
llcan'tbel
iev
e
sheisgoneormay bethisisKarmaImeanI
tol
dKatt oabortourboyy etIgaveLwandl e
pri
celesslov
ethatIhav eneverreceivefrom my
fat
her.I'
m abadpar entasmuchasPear l
.
Icri
edi nagonyasIwasr unningmyhandson
herti
nyt ombstone t hinkingaboutal
lthegood
ti
mesIspendwi thher .Shewasabeaut i
full
it
tl
e
gir
linthewhol ewor l
d.Shehadabeaut i
f ul
squeakyl augheverthatIwi ll
alwaysmiss
togetherwithhergiggles,smi l
esandcries.
Me:
"I
'm sosorrymypri
ncessdaddywil
lal
ways
l
oveyou"Iwipedmytearsandl
eft
.Idon'
tknow
whybutIfoundmy sel
finmyf
ather
'shouse.I
pr
essedtheint
ercom.
"
Zul
uResi
dence"
Me:
"Hall
oMa'
am y
ouar
espeaki
ngt
o
Mzwakhe"
"
Who?
"
Me:
"Mz wakheIwantt
ospeaktomyf
ather
Zul
u"Iheardsomeshuff
li
ngs
"Hell
o"Thatv
oiceIwillr
ecogni
zeitevenonmy
sleep.HowIresenti
ttoget
herwit
hitsowner
"
Mzwakhewhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e!"Scr
eamed
myf
ather
'swi
fe
Me:
"Iwantt
ospeakt
omyf
ather"
"
Stupi
dboyyouaresti
l
lstupi
devenafterso
manyyear
s.Rober
tisnotyourf
ather
"
Me:
"That
snott
rue!Iwantt
ospeakt
omyf
ather
woman!!
"
"
Gol
ookf
ory
ourr
api
stf
atherandmur
der
erand
l
eav
emyhusbandal
one!"
Iregrettedcomi ngher
ewhatwasIhopingvel
e
thathewi ll
acceptmeandt akemeback.Isat
downandcr ied.Justt
henablackOpelAst
ra
pull
edupnextt omet wogori
ll
aguyscameout
andpi ckedmeupl i
keIwei
ghzeroandshoved
mei nt hecar
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngpl
easedon'
thur
tme"Icr
ied
Gor
il
la1:
"Shutup!
!"
Me:"Pl
easeman. .
"Heslappedmehar dI
screamed.Wear r
ivedi
nthiswar ehouset
he
wasanol dclassymanseat edthereand
smokingacigar.Youcantellt
hathewasa
handsomeguyi nhisearl
yage.
Hi
m:"
Mzwakhemyman"
Me:
"Pl
easedon'thur
tme"Ibeggeddesper
atel
y
"
Iwi
lldoanyt
hingyouwant"
Hi
m:"Ar
ey ousur
eaboutt
hat
?"Inodded
vi
gor
ously"Comeandgi
vemeahead"Ilooked
athi
mt hi
nkinghei
sjoki
ngbuthi
sst
rai
ghtf
ace
sendshiv
ersdownmyspine.
Iwal kedovertohim shi
ver
ingi
nf earhestood
up" I
'm sur
ey ouarenotgoingtogivemeahead
standing"Iknel
tdownont hefl
oorandt r
yt o
unbuckledhisbelthepunchedmehar d"
Doy ou
thinkIcanputmydi ckinyoursti
nkingmouth!!
"
Me:"
I'
m sorr
ybuty
ousai
d..
."Hepunchedme
agai
nIscreamedi
nagony
.
Him:"
Youknowboyy
oucanmesswi
thany
one
butnotwi
thmyfami
ly
"
Me:"
Ididn'
tdoanyt
hingwr
ongsi
rIdon'
tknow
whatyouaretal
ki
ngabout
!!
"
Hi
m:"
Don'
tmakememadwena!
!"
Me:
"Iswear
!"
Him:
"Nkosi
sthandi
l
eorshoul
dIsay
Khet
hokuhl
e"
Iswal
l
owedhar
d
Me: "
Im sor
ryInev
ermeantt
ohurther
!"Icr
iedI
didn'
tknowKathav eaf
amil
yletal
onethi
s
scaryMaf i
a.
Him:"YouknowIusual lydon'
tdothi
sIguessit
s
yourluckyday .Youwantmybulldogstofi
nish
youof fandyoucangi vemymanahead"He
point
edt heguyIdi dn'
tknowwhendidhemade
hiswayi n.Hel i
ckedhisl
ipswhenIl
ookedat
him Iknewf rom thatmomentheisgay"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Him:"
HeyheyIsai
dchooseory
ouwantmet
o
choosef
oryou!
!"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lgi
vehi
mthebl
owj
ob"
Him:"Shonakhona"Iwenttokneel downi n
fr
ontoft hegayguyandunbuckl edhisbelt.I
pull
edhim outandmassagedhi m before
putt
inghimi nmout hwit
hgr i
macepl asteredon
myf ace.Ifal
lat
ehi
m hegr oanedlouderunt i
lhe
camei ntomymout h."
Swal l
ow!"Icouldn't
swallowIthrowupont hefloor"Ohboyy oujust
earnyour
sel
fanotherj
ob.Iwon'
tl
ety
ougo
unti
lyouswal
low!"
Icoul
dn'
taf
for
dtothr
owup
thi
stimeIswall
owed.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Il
ovePKwi thall myheartandl i
feisnot
i
maginablewithouthim butIcan' tdothist
omy
si
ster
,tomy self.Howwi llIliv
ewi t
hmy sel
f
knowi
ngt hatItookmysi ster'
sboy f
ri
end,
knowi
ngt hatshei sheartbr okenbecauseofPK
andmy sel
fIr eall
ycan't
.
Sheismysi stermybloodsist
erIwil
ldi
ewhere
shedie.Idon'tcar
eifshewouldn'
thavedone
thesamei nfactI'
dunderst
andandIwouldn'
t
holdi
tagainsther.
"
Kit
Katgi
veusachancepl
ease"
Me:"PKpl
easedon'
tbegmecozI'm not
changi
ngmymi ndpl
easeaccept
"
PK:"
Whataboutourpl
ansKi
tKaty
oupr
omi
sed
toneverl
eav
eme"
Me:"Iwasnev ergonnal eaveyouPKbut
cir
cumst ancesdoesn' tallowmet osti
ckwit
h
mypr omi seI'
mr eallysorry.Youknowwhaty ou
aredoingt oherisexact lywhatMzwakhedi dto
me.Shel ov eyouy etyouar edumpi ngherwit
h
yourseedi nsi
deofher .Thisisthetimewhere
sheneedy outhemost ,wheresheneedt obe
assuredthatshei snotal oneandsi nceyou
can'tI
'm gonnabet hereforherjustli
keyou
werewhenIwasgoi ngthrought hesamethi
ng."
PK:
"I
'm notgonnanegl
ectherandthebabyIwil
l
bet
hereforthem I
'
mj ustchoosi
ngyouonly
."
Me:"Havey ouev erdevotedy oursel
fto
someone, l
ov et
hem whol eheartedl
y,giv
ethem
therespectt heydeserve,maket hem your
everyt
hingcozy oucan'tli
vewi t
houtthem onl
y
tofi
ndouty ouwer ejustasecondopt i
onto
them.Hav et hatshi
tev erhappenedt oyou?"
PK:
"But
..
."
Me:
"Yesorno"
PK:
"No"
Me:"I
'm notsurpri
sed.I
'm donewi thyouPKgo
yourwayIwi llgomine.Ourrel
ationshipistoxic
Ihavebeent oomuchpai ninthisrelati
onship.I
almostdiednowy oumakingmer ejoi
ceonmy
sist
ersmi ser
y?Ican'tI
'm sor
ry"Iwi pedmy
tear
s
PK:"
Whatabouty
ourhappi
nessbaby?Cany
ou
oncebesel
fi
shandthi
nkaboutyour
sel
fonl
y"
Me:"Itcl
earlyyoudon'
tknowmecozi fyoudo
youwoul dknowt hatwhenthepeopleinmyli
fe
arehappyt hatmakemehappy "Hebreat
hed
outloudlyandwi pedof
fhistears
PK:"
I'
m notgiv
ingupony oubabyy
ouwi
l
lseeI
wil
lfi
ght.Youaremine"
Me:
"PKpl
ease.
..
"
PK:
"Youl
ovemer
ight
?"
Me"
Wit
hmyev
erybr
eat
h"
PK:"
Thatr easonableenoughformetofightfor
youandIwi l
lyougetbackinmyar mswher e
youbelong.Iwi l
lwinbackyourtr
ustTboseis
set
tl
inghimsel fforhear
tacheyouweremeant
tobemi ne"
Me:
"WhatdoesTbosegott
odowi
tht
hisnow"
PK:"
Heloveyoucan'
tyouseethatandyour
fat
herseem t
oli
kehim butheonceli
kemehe
wil
lli
kemeagain"
Me:
"TboseandIar
efr
iendsqha"
PK:"
Toyounothi
m.Heisinl
ovewi
thy
ouKat
andIwon'
tl
ethimtakey
ouawayfr
om me"
Me:
"Youi
magi
ningt
hingshei
smybr
other
"
"
Mh.
Mh"Il
ookedupi
twasTbose
PK:
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e!"
Me:
"PKstopitt
hisismyfr
iendandy
ouareno
l
ongerpar
tofmyl i
fenowsoyouhavenor
ight
t
oasksuchquest
iont
omyf
ri
end"
PK:"
Fri
endmyf
oot
!Tel
lhery
oul
oveher
bast
ard!
"
Me:
"That
'si
tleav
enow"
PK:"
Iwon'
tgiv
euponyou"Heki
ssedmy
for
eheadandwal
kedout
.
Me:
"Tr
ynott
omi
ndhi
m hei
shur
ti
ng"
Tbose:
"Yesofcourse.
..If
oundKuhl
e"Iasked
hi
mt otrackdownKuhle.Tbosei
ndoda
engahl
ulwalutho.
Me:
"Youdi
d?Thanky
ounowt
akemet
oher
"
Tbose:
"Youhav
en'
tbeendi
schar
gedKat
"
Me:
"AyIdon'
tcar
e"
Tbose:
"Noyourf
atherwil
lkil
lmeifhef
oundout
Il
etyouleav
ewhilei
ny ourstat
e"
Me:"
Iwil
ldealwit
hhi
m whenIcomebackhe
wontdoanythi
ngtoy
ouandI'
mf i
nenow"
Tbose:
"Kat
..
."
Me:
"Pl
ease"
Hegr
oaned
Tbose:
"Okayf
ine"
Me:
"Thanky
ouIwanttostar
tinMj'
sroom f
ir
st"
Wel
lyesheisst
il
li
nthehospi
tal
.
Tbose:
"Okay"Hepackedmyt
hingsasIli
mped
toMj'sward.Hewasbusyonhisphone.
Me:
"Li
tt
lebr
other
"
Mj
:
"Hi
"That
'scol
dIguessIdeser
vei
t
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryMj
"
Mj
:
"Ok"
Me:
"Mj
youshoul
dhav
etol
dus.
..
"hecutmeof
f
Mj:"
Youar ereallyyourf ather'
sdaughter.Ever
y
personthatdoy ouwr ongdeser vetopay !You
arerevengefulli
kehim bot hofyoumakeme
si
ck!Youknowwegetour selvesint
osituati
on
wedon' twantt obeinj ustlikemei fIhada
choiceIwoul dn'
thav ehi j
ackedy oudoIdeser v
e
whathappenedt
ome?
"
Me:
"Ofcour
senotMj
..
."
Mj:
"Jusl
eaveIwanty
obeal
oney
oursi
ghti
s
suf
focat
ingme"
Me:
"Mj
.
.."
Mj:"
Leave!!
!"Iwentoutwithtear
scloudi
ngmy
vi
sion.Tbosepulledmet ohisarmsand
comf or
tmeaf t
erthatweleftanddrovet
oKZN
whereKuhl ehi
ddenhersel
f.Allt
hewaywe
sharedjustsmall
talks.
Me:
"Ar
eyouokay
?"
Tbose:
"Yes"
Me:
"Youcant
alkt
omedude"
Tbose:
"Isai
dImfi
nefr
iend"hesmi
l
edbutIcan
seeheisforci
ngi
t.
Me:
"Di
dIdoorsaysomet
hingwr
ong?
"
Tbose:
"Ofcour
senotdude"Wearr
ivedinhot
el
whereKuhlest
aysandweretol
dherroom
number
"
Cal
lmewheny
ouf
ini
sh"
Me:"Okay"Hewasalreadyl
eavi
ngbythatti
meI
si
ghedIwonderwhati sgoi
ngonwi t
hhim.I
knockedonKuhle'sdoorsheopenedshe
l
ookedt er
ri
bleherhai
rwasamessherey es
swollenandpuff
yandherfacewasred.
Kuhle:
"I
ssywhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e"shewas
shockedtoseeme
Me:"Letmei n"shemadeawayf ormeIwal ked
i
nandt hrewmy sel
finherarms"Ichoosey ou
si
s.IknowhechosemebutIchoosey ouI'
m
sorr
y"Ibur stint
otears.Shetookmet oherbed
andwesatdownandcr iedi
neachot herarms
"I
m sorryforthepainyouaregoingthrough."
Kuhl
e:"
Hechosey
ouI
ssynotme.
..
"Icutherof
f
Me:"
Youar
emysi st
er,
mybl oodsi
sterwecan't
al
lowaguytocomeintous.Wedon'thaveto
beenemi
es.Il
oveyousisandit
'sy
out hatI
chooseandIwi
l
lchoosey
ouov
erandov
er"
Kuhle:
" OhIssy"Shepulledmecl osetoher
chestwecr i
edfort hemanwebot hlostandthe
painheputust hrough,wecr i
edf ormyt wins.
Wecr ieduntilwer anoutoftearsi tdidn'
t
mat t
ercozwewer eineachot hersarmsand
shari
ngt hesamepai njustl
ikeweshar eda
man, womb, motherandf at
her .
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
I'
m gladDadandIr econcil
ednowi tstimetoget
mymanbackcozIcanseet hatthisThabsi l
e
gir
lisonami ssionont aki
nghi m awayf rom me
shameuny il
eyazai n'
tnoInat hatisgoingback
toThabsi l
ehei smi neandmi nealone.Ihav e
beent r
yingtocal l
himf orthepassed3day sbut
Icouldn'
treachhi m.Imustsayt hepassed
3dayshav ebeengl oomywi t
houthi m even
Sbongami sseshim
Sbonga:"
WhenisdaddycomingbackMama"I
l
iedandsaidheisonabusinesstri
pnott
hathe
under
standwhenhewanthisf at
herhewant
himfi
nishandkl
aar.
Me:"
Idon'
tknowbabyIwi
l
lcal
lhi
m andf
indout
okay
"
Sbonga:
"Iwantt
otal
lhi
mtooMama"OhGod
Me: "
Wewi l
ltal
ktohimtomorrowmyl ovenow
sleep"Iki
ssedhisf
oreheadandtuckedhimin
thenreadhim abedt
imestoryunti
lhefal
ls
asleep.
Ikissedhislipsandwentt omybedroom.I
neededasoot hingbath.Iwastir
edforno
parti
cularreason.Thispregnancywi
llbea
problem everydayI'
m wokenupbyt heurgeto
throwupi tstir
ingshameandmyemot i
onsar
e
uncontroll
able.
Iwal
kedbackt
othebedroom Ij
umpedabi t
wi
thf
ri
ghtwhenIsawInaseat
edont heedgeof
t
hebedhi
sfaceburi
edonhishead.Hemust
havefeltmypr
esenceasheremovedhishands
onhisfaceandlookedatmewit
hbloodshot
redeyes.
"MaZwane"Hi
sli
pscurvedsweetl
ymakingmy
hear
ttoski
ppedabeatImissedthatgor
geous
smil
eofhisbutmosti
mportant
lyImisshim as
whole.
Me:"Jobewhatar
eyoudoingher
e"Si
ll
y
questi
onIknowitj
ustt
hatIdi
dn'
texpectt
osee
hi
m here
I
na:
"Imi
ssmybeaut
if
ulwif
ey"Hesai
dst
andi
ng
upandmadehi
swaytowardsme.
Me:"Imi
ssyoutoo"Hest
oodsocl oset
ome
suff
ocati
ngmewi t
hhisi
ntoxi
cati
ngscent.He
l
ift
edupmychi nmaki
ngmet olookathim as
heistal
l
erthanme
I
na:"Youar
esobeauti
ful
"Ismiledwidel
yI
missedheari
ngt
hat.I
nanevergoesaday
wit
houttel
li
ngmehowbeaut i
fulIam andhow
heappreci
atemeandthatmakemet hemost
specialwomanintheworl
d.Heranhisf
inger
ti
psonmyl ipsmyheartpoundedhar
der
againstmychest.
Hewethi sli
psseduct
ivel
yandki ssedtheday
l
ightoutofmepul l
ingmecl oset ohimt hatI
hadt ostandwit
hmyt oesImoanedsof tl
yinhi
s
mout hmyhandscuppedhi sf acef i
ngers
splayedwideopen.Iheardthet owel cr
umple
ont hefl
oorandexposedmymoi stbodywi t
h
wat er
.
Hepul ledbackandst udiedatmybodymy
nippleshar denunderhi sheat edgaze.He
kneadedmyboobsashi smout hwasdoi ng
deli
cioust hingsinmymout hshi verstravel
ed
downmyspi neandmyi nsidest wist
edi nknots.
Hepul ledbackandshotmeal ookofdesi r
e
beforet akingouthist-shir
texposi nghisbuff
upperbodyIf eltl
iqui
dr unningdownbet ween
myl egsj uststari
ngathi sper fect,art
isti
cbody .
Het ookouthandcuf f
sf rom thebackofhi sjean.
"Youhav ebeenabadgi rlwifeyandI '
m goingt o
punishyou"hi
sv oi
cedri
ppingwi thabutt
ery
seducti
on.Ibit
emyl i
phar dhet urnedme
aroundandcuffedmyar msbehi nd.Hi
swarm
l
ipsagainstmynecksendspar ksdownmy
spineamoanedescapedi nmymout hashe
bit
eandsuckonmyneckIt il
tedmyhead
givi
nghimf ul
laccessofmyneck." Howlong
youandIhav ebeentogether"
Me:
"Al
most3y
ear
s"
Ina:
"Whatdoesthatmeantoyou"Hetur
nedme
aroundandfl
ickedmycli
tIgaspedf
orair
Me:
"I
tsmeans.
.itmeansOhh"
I
na:
"Ican'
theary
oumyl
ove"
Me:"Welov eeachot herandwehavesurvi
ved
everyobstacle.I
t'smeansOhGodwehav e
somethingspe. .
.speci algoi
ngonAhhh"He
sl
ippedhisf i
ngeri nsidestart
edmovi
ngiti
nand
outsendingwav esofpl easure
I
na:
"I
sthatso?
"
Me:
"Ye.
..
smyl
oveoh"
I
na:
"Whyy
ouwantt
othr
owt
hataway
."
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
I
na:
"Notyetmyl
oveIneedtoknowwhydoesi
t
t
akeyousoeasytowantt
oendt hel
ovewe
madeforal
most3year
s."
Me:"
I.
..
I.
.Oh"ImoanedOhGodhi
sfi
ngerwas
doi
ngamazi ngt
hingsdownt
her
e.
I
na:
"Dontwemeansomet
hingt
oyout
hati
tjust
t
akeyouasecondt
oendus?"
Me:"
Thatisnottr
uebaby "Hesli
ppedsecond
fi
ngerandshoveditdeeperIscr
eamedin
pl
easure"OhhGod!"
Ina:
"Whataboutthekids?Di
dyouthought
aboutthatbefor
ey oumadeyourdeci
sion.How
will
itaff
ectthem whenwebreakup?"
Me: "
Im sor
ryI
namyemot ionswereallovert
he
place.Theacci
dentandthedinnerwi
thyour
familyputmeunderalotofpressur
eIdidn't
meant ohurty
oumyl
oveI
'
m sor
ryIwas
egocentr
ic"
Ina:
"I
ndeedyouweresel
fi
sh"Heturnedmet he
otherwayandbentme"Verysel
fi
shsthandwa
sami"Hespankedmybutthardmybodyt i
ngled
withexci
tement
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
I
na:"Wear ecomingtothatmyli
fe.Wegott he
wholenight"Hespankedmybut tharderI
groanedlouderashemadehi sf
orceentrance
"Ahhh"Hemoanedandst ar
tedmoving"Who
wearpantsinthisrel
ati
onshi
p?"
Me:"
Youbaby
"Hepl
ungedi
ntomedeepI
yel
ped
I
na:
"Thenwhydon'
tyour
espectme?
"
Me:"
Idor
espec.
."Het
hrust
edhar
der"
I'
m sor
ry
baby
"Iwhi
mpered
I
na:
"Slappi
ngmeandshout
ingatmey
oucal
l
t
hatrespect
?"
Me:
"NoI
m sor
ry"Icr
ied
Ina:
"I
'myourmany ougot
tagi
vemet
her
espect
Ideserv
edoy ouhearme?"
Me:"
Ye.
.Ohh"hewentdeeperIscr
eamedi
n
pl
easur
ablepai
n
I
na:
"Doy
ouhearme"
Me: "YesbabyOhshi t!"Hist hrust
swer e
ruthlessashesl ammedi nmeov erandov erour
skinsl appingt ogetherl usciouslyandmycr ies
grewl oudereacht hrust."I
'm sor r
y
Nkosi nimandl a"Hepul ledoutandat ethe
day l
ightoutofmemykneeswobbl edIgasped
forai rasIf el
tt hewav eappr oachinghistounge
wentdeepermyl owerbodyshudder edhe
pulledbackdamn!Hemadememyl ieonthe
edgeoft hebedwi thmyst omachandsl i
pped
i
ntot hesecondhol eIcr i
edi npleasurabl
epai n.
Thedept handspeedofhi st hrustsgrewasour
groansf i
l
ledthebedr oom.Hi ssweatdr i
pping
onmybackhepul l
edoutandeaset heburning
sensati
oninmyanuswi thhi
stounge."
I'
m sor
ry
babyforgivemenowIpr omi
setobedev ot
edto
you,torespecty
ou,toobeyy
ouandt osubmit
my sel
ftoyou"Icri
ed
Heuncuffedmeandcuf f
edmeont hebedasI
wasfaci
ngt heskymylegswideopen.Hegot
ontopofmeandl ookedatmyt earyey
eswit
h
hi
shalfhoodedredeyes"I
'm sorr
y"
Ina:
"IknowbabyIknow"Hepul ledmybot hlegs
onhisshoul dersandpumpedi ntomesohar d
withforcemaki ngmyt eetht oclatt
er."Come
formebaby "Overwhelmingsensat iont ookov er
mywhol ebodyIwant edtot ouch, f
eel hisbody
butIcouldn'tIgurgl
ehispr aisesingr ati
tudeas
Ireachedmyor gasm hefollowedaf termeand
coll
apsedonmybodybr eathingheav ilyand
panting."Il
ovey ousomuch"
Me:
"Il
ovemor
e"Iwasst
il
li
ntear
s
I
na:
"Di
dIhur
tyou?
"
Me:
"No"Hebr
eat
hedoutofr
eli
efandwi
pedof
f
myt earsbeforeuntyi
ngme.Wesl ippedinto
blanket smeont opofhiml isteni
ngt ohis
thuddi ngheartbeat."
I'
m sorryInaIwi l
lnever
disrespectyouev eragain"
I
na:
"If
orgi
vey
oust
handwasami
."
Me:
"Ngi
yakt
handa"
(Il
ovey
ou)
I
na:
"Ut
handwayimi
"(Il
oveyoutoo)
I
mmediat
elyaf
tert
hatIpassedout
.
THEFOLLWI
NGMORNI
NG
Irol
ledovertowr appedmyar m aroundhim but
hewasnotnextt ome.Iopenedmyey esand
l
ookedar ound.Itwasdifenetl
ythenext
mor ni
ngmybodywassor eandmybanana
basketwasbur ningInareal
lypunishedmel ast
ni
ghtIswearmcwi istr
uIm notdisrespect
ing
hi
m again.AnywayIdr aggedmy selfoutofbed
andmadet hebedt henwenttotakeasoot hing
bath.
Igotdr
essedi
ntohi
st-
shi
rtonl
yandhi
spush
i
ns.
Iti
edmyweav eintoaneatbunandmademy
wayoutf oll
owingt herosepet al
sont hefloor
thatletmet othebalcony .Igaspedwi t
hshock
andcov eredmymout hwi thmyhandasIr ead
therosepet al
sont hefloorthatwer ewrit
ten
WI LLYOUMARRYME.Iwasst i
llshockedhe
emer gedandkneel edinf r
ontofmehel ooked
sogor geousandner vous.Sbongaappear edin
samecl othesashi sfatherandgav eInathe
smal lboxbeforekneeli
ngnextt ohi sdadby
thattimemyhear twasdoi ngjumpingjacks
Ina:
"MaZwanewehav ebeent oget herfor
almost3y ear
snowandev erydaymyl ovefor
yougrow.Imagini
ngl if
ewi t
houty oui s
somethingimpossibl
ey oucompl et emeand
youmakemehappyi nawayt hatIcan' t
descri
be.Youoverfl
owmyhear twi t
hpur ej
oy
andpeace.BeforeIknewy ouIdi dn'tknowIcan
l
ov eapersonli
kethis.I
'm notperf ectbutI
promisetomakey ouhappyev erydayev en
thoughthatisimpossible.Ial
mostlostyouto
deathandI'm grat
efulforthatencount
ercozit
madememor ecertai
nt hatIwanttospendmy
night
sbyy oursideandmyday swi t
hyour
heart.
"HenudgedSbonga
Sbonga:
"Mommywi
l
lyoumal
l
yme"(
mar
ry)
I
na:
"Noboymar
ryDaddy
"Igi
ggl
edwi
tht
ear
sin
myeyes
Sbonga:
"OhMommywi
l
lyoumal
l
yDaddy
"
(marr
y)
Me:
"Yes.
.y
esIwi
l
lmal
l
yDaddyboy
"
Sbonga:
"Yes!"Theybumpedfi
stthenInasl
ida
di
amondpr i
ncesscutIcoul
dn'
thelpbuycry
.He
st
oodupandki ssedtheday
li
ghtoutofme
I
na:
"Il
ovey
ouMr
sMe"
Me:"Il
oveyoutooMrMe"Hewi pedmyt ears
andhuggedmef ordearli
fe.Li
feisful
lof
surpri
sesandmiraclest
herecameat i
mei nmy
l
ifewhereIhav
egi venupinlovel
itt
ledi
dIknow
whatl i
fehasinstoreforme.Iwi l
lbef or
ever
gratefultoGodforblessi
ngmewi thaguyl i
ke
Ina.Whodi dn'
tcareaboutmyf lawsand
shower edmewi thpurelove.Kuhlekonke
Sitholehowdoesi ssoundbaby ?Likebirds
mel odyisn'
t?Iknowhey .
[
06/
01,
14:
40]W:
58
AMONTHLATER
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwontli
etoyouandsayIdontmissPKcozIdo
andhedoesntmakeiteasyf
ormet ofor
get
abouthi
m cozheispoppi
ngoutevery
whereI
am i
tsannoyi
ngcozIwannafor
getabouthi
m
sobadly.
I
tsbeenamont hnowl if
eisnotbadinfactit
s
good.Havingmyf amil
yist
hebestthi
ngt hat
haveeverhappenedoutofall
thethi
ngsthat
happened.Wemov edt
omypar ent
shouseev en
thoughPKsai
dthathousei
smi
nei
tsi
nmy
name.
Im keepingitfort hetimeswhenIwantt obe
aloneandthinkorwhenI m studyi
ng.Iknew
Thandoisseei ngsomeonet hesignswerethere
andIoncewentt hroughherphoneandmy
i
nst i
nct
swer ecor r
ectbutIchoset olect
ureher
cozIknewi fItoldhert ostayawayfrom that
boyshewasnotgonnal i
stentomeaf t
erallshe
chosetodat eev enaf terItol
dhernottobutI
wontblameher .Ihav entbeenagoodexampl e
toherandI m afraiditsalreadylat
enow.
Dadsortedthatboyouthewasj ustachancerI
wouldhavedealtwithhi
m my sel
f.OhhowcanI
for
getwellI
m nowancent r
all
yaSi t
holeandIm
wait
ingformynewI DIdecidedtousebot hof
mynamesNkosi st
handi
leandKhet hokuhl
e
Theydi
dceremonyformeandmyt winbot
her'
s
sonKhweziheissocute.Babi
esaresocutenj
e
yazIwonderhowmyt winswouldhavel
ooked
l
ikeiftheydidn'
tdi
e.I
'm sur
etheywoul
dhave
l
ookedhotImeanPKandmygenescoul d
makecut ehotbeauti
ful
babiesI'
mtel
li
ngyou
nevert
heless.
Imetal lthef ami lymymom' sparent s,mygr eat
grandparentsf rom mydadssi de,
myaunt s, my
uncles,cousins, sist
ersImustsayi t
sahuge
familyshame.Ial sometmyt winbr ot her's
fi
ancéemyf av our i
teactressdamny ouknow
alt
houghIknowhowt omakest oriesbutInev er
focusedont hatbutaf terseei
ngherI mt hinking
ofstudyingforcr eati
vewr i
ti
ngwhenIf inish
withmymusi c.
Iwanthertobemymai ncharact
ershewas
real
l
ybornforthi
s.Ohandt heyaregett
ing
marri
edattheendoft hemont hI
'mthemaidof
honourbutwit
hthisweightI'
m gaini
ngIdon'
t
know.Ihavebeentryi
ngtolif
tupmyj eanbut
i
tsstuckinmythighs.
Isatdownandcr
iedal
lmycl
othesdoesn'
tfi
t
sengivel
engaygwinyawi
thi
namont hIguess
i
tsthisloveI'
m get
ti
ngfr
om myf amil
y.Il
eaned
overandt ookmyphonethenf
acet i
meMama.
SheleftforKZN3weeksbackitsabouther
fi
ndingMamaImeanThando' smom.
Mom:
"Baby
..I
ssyy
ouar
ecr
ying"
Me:
"Whenar
eyoucomi
nghomeMama"
Mom:
"Idon'
tknowbabywhat
'
swr
ong"
Me:
"Mom y
ousai
dyouwi
l
ltel
lmet
oday
"
Mom:"Babyit
sbusyherebutIpromi
seonceI
m
doneIwil
lcomeback.Whyarey oucr
ying
what'
shappening?Whomadey oucry
"
Me:"
Dadischeat
ing"Shel
aughed"
Youar
e
l
aughing"
Mom:"Yourdadist
heki
ndamant
hatcan'
tbe
st
olensweety"
Me:"Hei
samanafterall
hemaynotbestol
en
buthecanr
eactwhenClairt
ouchhi
m"Herf
ace
tur
nedredi
mmediatel
y
Mom: "
Jesust
hatl
i
ttl
esl
ut!I
'
m comi
ngback
r
ightnow!"
Me:"Mawai
tup"Shewasv
entingbutIcoul
dn'
t
seeherf
acecr
apwhathaveIdone!Kuhl
e
walkedi
n
"
Didn'
tyousayy
ouhav
eal
ect
uret
oday
?"
Me:"
Idobutnonofmycl
othesar
efi
tt
ing"I
cr
ied
Kuhl
e:"Ohbabesor
ryI
'
dlendy
oumycl
othesbut
well
..
."
Me:
"Ohsoy
ousayI
'
m huge?
"
Kuhl
e:"
Nosi
s"
Me:
"Mx
m getoutofmyr
oom"
Kuhl
e:"
Comebabysi
s"
Me: "
Go!"Shehuff
edandwal kedout.Ij
umped
onmybedandcr i
edmyl ungsout.Iheard
footstepsappr
oachi
ngt henmybedmov i
ngon
allsi
des.Isatupstr
aightupi twasKuhle,
ThandoandMj
.
Mj:
"Youknowwhatsi
syoucanski
pal
ect
ureso
what?"
Thando:
"Yawecangof
orshoppi
ng"
Me:
"Yousay
ingI
'
m hugenawe?
"
Thando:
"Nosi
sUhm"
Me:"
Mxm!
"Kuhl
eremovedthejeanthatwas
st
uckonmythi
ghsanddi
sappeared
Mj:
"Don'
tcr
yokayyoul
ookmor
ebeaut
if
ulnow"
hewipedmytear
s
Me:"
Youtr
yingt
omakemefeelbet
terMjl
ook
howbigmycheeksar
eIl
ookl
ikeaball
oon"
Mj:
"Youareabeaut
if
ulbal
loon"Theyl
aughedI
hi
tMj wi
thapil
low.Kuhl
ewal kedi
nwitha
dr
ess
Kuhl
e:"It
hinkthi
sonewi l
lfi
t"Letmet r
yitIgot
upandwor eit
.Well
Mj i
smybr othert
here'
sno
needtohideandbesidesit
snotlikeI'
m butt
naked."
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"
Thando:
"At
ruebeaut
if
ulbal
l
oon"
Me:"Yabonake!I'
m notgoi
ngany wheremina"I
sunkont hebed.Icanfeel
them givi
ngeach
otherl
ooks"Nogowi t
houtmeify ouwant
shopping"
Thando:
"Comeonsi
s"
Mj
:
"Don'
tmakeuscar
ryy
ouI
ssy
"
Me:"Youwon' tshameI'm heavyasyoucansee"
Isai
dwi t
haneart ear
svoice.Mjnoddedthe
nextmi nutetheywerecarryi
ngme"Guy scome
on"Didt heyhearmeno." Youarebull
i
esnina
I'
m goingt ot
ellDaddy"
Mj
:
"Daddy
'sgi
rl
"Isnuckoutmyt
oungeathi
m.
Edwar di
scomingt hi
sweekendDadt alkedto
hi
m butThandodoesn' twannahearitIdon'
t
blamehershame.Wedr ovetoal
lthemal l
s
shoppingitwasreall
yfunbytheti
mewe
fi
nishedIwastir
ed.OhLami lef
twithMama
canyoubel
ievet
hatboyI'
m notuset
ohim
l
eavi
ngmef orweeksandnotcryi
ngformei
ts
newIguessit
spartofgr
owingup.
Thando:
"Whatar
ewegonnaeat
"
Kuhl
e:"
Ribspl
ease"
Thando:
"Asl
ongasi
tsf
ood"
Me:
"Skobho"Weal
lsai
datonce
Thando:
"Dadwon'
tl
iket
oheart
hatI
ssy"
Me:
"Whowi
l
ltel
lhi
m Kant
?"
"Me!
"Theyallchantedli
keschoolki
dsI
coul
dn'
thelpbutlaugh.Weendeduphavi
ng
ri
bsatspurthenwedr ov
ehome.Wear ri
vedat
homedaddywaswat chi
ngsoccer
.
Dad:
"Babi
es"
Us:
"Daddy!"Weallkissedhi
scheeks, Mj
bumpedf i
stswithhim.Lamiwal kedin
scr
eaming" Ki
tKat!
"Irantohim andpickedhi
m
upkissi
ngalloverhisfacehegiggled
Me:
"Imi
ssy
ouboy
"
Lami
:
"Imi
ssy
out
ooKi
tKat
"Iputhi
m down
Mom:"Mychildr
en"Shehuggedusandki
ssed
ourf
oreheads.
Dad:
"Hawwhataboutme?
"
Mom: "
Mxm"Dadlookedatherbutmom was
busyaski
ngushowhavewebeenandal l
.Shi
tI
pul
ledKuhl
easi
de
Me:
"Imessedup"
Kuhl
e:"
Whathav
eyoudone"
Me:"Isai
ddadi scheat
ingwithCl
airIwasjoki
ng
Imissedhery ouknowandMamat ookit
ser
ioust hatwhyshei sher
e."Ibi
temynailsshe
bur
sti nt
ol aughter
Mom:
"Car
etoshar
ethej
oke"
Kuhle:
"Thatwhatawif
edowenamama
bangazebakthat
hel
e"shesai
dlaughi
ng
Dadl
ookedatusconf
used.InudgedKuhl
eto
shutup.
Dad:
"Woahwhat
'sgoi
ngonher
e"
Me:"
I'
m sorryIdi
dn'
tmeant ocausetr
oublei
t
j
ustthatIwasmissingyouMamaIwant edyou
t
ocomebackIwasgonnat el
lyouI
'mjoki
ngbut
youhunguponmeIdi dn'
tgetachancetosay
I
'mjoking"Iwascry
ingnow
Dad:
"Joki
ngaboutwhat
?"
Mom: "
Thatyoucheati
ngwithClai
r"Theyal
l
shri
ekedwithl
aughter
.Clai
risoneofthear
tist
thatwantdadhi
ghandl owbaba.
Mom: "
Ohbabycomehere"Iwenttohershe
pull
edmeonherlap."
Don'tcr
y"Shewipedmy
tear
s
Dad:
"ThankyouI
ssyf
orbr
ingi
ngbackmywi
fe"
Welaughed.
Mom:"HayIssy
"Shetouchedmyst
omachasi
f
shei
sfeeli
ngsomethi
ng
Me:
"Ma"
Mom:
"Yourst
omachi
shar
d"
Me:
"I
mful
lthesef
ool
sfeedme"
Mom: "
Haynomakungat hi
wanikhonaumtwana
l
a"(darkorbluether
e'sababyinher
e)I
l
aughedli
kereall
ylaughedbutshewasdamn
f
uckingser
ious.WTF
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
I'
mr unni
ngaroundli
keaheadl esschi
cken
doingwhatexactl
yIwon' ttell
youcozthe
weddingplanner
sgotev erythi
ngundercontr
ol.
I'
m getti
ngmarri
edatt heendoft hismont
hI'm
superexcit
edbutI'm nervoust oo
Thatwhatmakemeanxi ousandstressedt hen
myf i
ancéwil
lbel i
kebabeIdon'tcareifpeople
doesn'
tpit
chduet oshortageofinvi
tes,Idon't
carei
fallt
hev enuewil
lbebooked, Idon'tcare
i
fyouweary ourpjsIwil
lstil
lbemar r
yingy ou
t
hatj
ustputahugesmi
l
eonmyf
aceandal
lmy
wor
ri
esfl
oataway.
GodIl ovehim hemakemywor l
dgoIdon' t
knowwher ehehav ebeenal l thi
stimebutI
guesst hatGodpl ans.MyDadwashappyf or
mewhenIt ol dhimt hatInapr oposedt helobol a
negotiati
onswi l
lbehel dnextweekwhi chis
somet hingI'
m notl ookingfor wardtoi tbecause
Dadwantt ochar gedoubl eamountt hey
chargedhi mf orSi hleforgettingthatIhav ea
sonunl i
keSi hle,shewasav irginwhenshemet
DadIt hinkthat '
swhyZol ani cheatedonher
Zolaniwasnev erthepat i
entt ypaguy .Nott hatI
worthlessbuti t
'sourt radit
ionwheny ou
al
readyhav eachi ldout si
det hel obol
amoneyi s
notthesame.
TheSithol
efami lyar
etoler
atingmeIguesst hat
onestepwayf or
ward.Thabsilegosht
hatgirli
s
real
l
yonami ssionandshei susingKhwezito
getIna.Well
y estheDNAt estprovedthatheis
real
l
yI na'
sson.
Ir ememberthi
sonenightInawasinsi
deofme
whenThabsilecal
ledandsaidKhweziissi
ck
onlytofi
ndoutitwasjustawayofgetti
nghim
tosleepwit
hher.Hewasf umingwithangerhe
evenwantedKhwezi'sful
lcust
odywellIt
old
himt ocal
m downandt hi
nkaboutKhwezihe
alsoneedhismom.
AnywayIwasshootingadr ama,i
tsabout
Royal
tyfami
ly.I
'
mt hegirl
fr
iendofthepri
nce
whohadt ot
akeawi fefr
om Royalt
yfamil
y.My
rol
efi
ttedsi
nceI'
m pregnant.
"Youarej
ustacommonersav eyoursel
fa
heart
acheandleave,
Mfanaf
uthi
wi l
ltakeme
thePri
ncess"Sai
dThandeka
Me:
"I
'mt
heonewhoi
scar
ingt
heKhumal
ohei
r"
"
Youar
epr
egnant
?"
Me:
"Ohyesmydear
"Ismi
rkedbr
ushi
ngmy
t
ummy .
"
Mxm!
"Shepushedmet
hatIal
mostf
all
and
wal
kedoutsway
ingherhi
pssi
det
osi
de
"Cut
..
.t
hatwi
llbeallf
ort oday"WuuhatlastI
wastir
edIwant edt
ogethomeandhav ealong
soot
hingbat
ht hensleep.
Iwasnowwai t
ingf ormyf i
ancé.Hedoesn' t
wantmet odrivesi nceI '
m pregnantIthi
nkit'
s
tooear l
yforthatbutmyf i
ancédoesn'twanna
hearithei ssuperexci tedaboutt hepregnancy
thathespoi l
smet oomuchwel lI'
m not
compl ai
ninginf actI '
m happyjustt oknowhow
i
tsfeelsliketobespoi ledbyy ourmanwhen
youarepr egnant .Youknowwi t
hSbongaInev er
experi
enceal loft hat.
Johnathan:"
Ifyouwer emi ney ouwer entgoi
ng
towaity ouwil
lfoundmeal readywai ti
ngfor
you"Ijustroll
edmyey es.Johnat hanisthe
dir
ector.Hehav ebeenaski ngmeoutandIhav e
beentelli
nghimI m notinterestedIhav ea
fi
ancébuthedoesn' tli
sten.Hei shotshameI
don'twannaliealt
houghhewi l
l nev
ermeasur e
myfiancéofcourse.Iwasst
art
ledbyhisl
ips
onmi neIpushedhim myfi
ancéwasstanding
ri
ghtinfr
ontofus
Me:
"Babyheki
ssedmeIswear
"
Johnat
han:
"Fi
ancéy
ouar
eher
e"hesmi
rked
I
naclenchedhi
sjawhewast
ryi
ngt
onotl
ose
hi
scool.
Ina:"
Heywifey
"Heki ssedmycheek" Excuseus
ndoda"Heheldmyhandwewal kedtohiscar.
HeboughtanewcarJeepsi ncetheoneIwas
drivi
ngwasbey ondr epai
rs.Heisaf anofjeep.
Heopenedt hedoorf ormeIgoti nthenhe
closedthedoorandwentt ohi ssidebefor
e
start
inghi
scarwithoutawor d.
Me:
"Babe"Ist
oppedhi
mfr
om st
art
ingt
hecar
hei
gnoredme.HeismadIcant
ell
.
"SthandwasamiI
m sorr
yheistheonet hat
kissedmeandIdidn'
tki
sshim back.Iwil
lnev
er
disrespecty
oul
i
kethatbabyIl
ov eyousomuch
andIcan'taff
ordtolostyouf
orthatst
upi
d
di
rect
or"Iwasgaspi ngbetweensobsyousee
whatdoest hi
spregnancydoestome.He
pul
ledoffasideandcamet omyside.
I
na:"
Sshh"Hepul
ledmet
ohi
sar
ms"
Iknow
babyIknowdon'
tcry
"
Me:
"Buty
ouar
emadatme"Isobbed
I
na:"
NobabyI '
m angr
yathim.Heis
di
srespecti
ngmeheknowsy ouareengaged
butheisbusypursui
ngyoutodayhechoseto
l
evelbykissi
ngyou"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryi
twon'
thappenedagai
n"
Ina:"Don'
tcr
ymyl oveIwill
sor tthatdir
ect
orof
your s"Hewipedmyt ear
s"Idon' twantyouto
stressokay"Inodded"Hewi pedmymout h
andki ssedmeIchuckl edinwar dly"Il
oveyou
ain'tnomotherfuckerisgoingt ochangethat"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"Heki
ssedmyey
es
I
na:
"Wher
edoy
ouwannaeat
?"
Me:
"Ij
ustwantt
ogohomeandgetf eet
massagef
rom mydear
estf
iancé"
I
na:
"Whataboutf
ood"
Me:
"Wewi
l
lpassbyst
eer
s"Hesmi
l
ed
Ina:"
Let
'sgothen"Hekissedmeagaint henhe
closedthedoorbefor
egoingtohisside.We
boughtsteersbur
gersandgoodiesfortheboys.
Khwez i
isvisi
ti
ngus.
"
Mommy
!"Theybot
hscr
eamedandhuggedmy
l
egs
Me:"
Hell
oboy
s"Ibentandki
ssedt
hei
rs
f
oreheads
Sbonga:
"Pi
ckmeupMama"
Khwez
i:
"Met
ooMama"
I
na:
"Mom i
sti
redboy
sshecan'
t"
Me:
"Justal
i
ttl
ebabygi
vemet
hem"
I
nq:
"Ha.
ababyt
heseboy
sar
eabusi
ngy
ou"
Theysnuckoutt
oungesathi
m maki
ngmet
o
l
augh"Iwil
lbeatyouup"Theygiggl
edandran
away.Iwenttothel
oungeandrelaxedonthe
sof
abeforetaki
ngmyheelsoff.Myf i
ancé
cameandkissedmyf or
eheadthensatdown
andmassagedmyf eet
Me:
"Ooht
hisf
eel
ssogood"Imoaned
I
na:
"Don'
tmoanbaby
"
Me:
"I
t'
sfeel
ssogoodnj
eahh"
I
na:
"Baby
!"Hepr
essedmyf
ootonhi
sboner
Me:
"Ar
etheboy
swi
thKet
sane?
"Ibi
temyl
i
p
Ket
sanei
sthei
rnanny
Ina:
"Wellt
he..
."HewascutshotbyKetsaneand
theboysbutmyey esdart
edont hel
i
ttl
ecute
chubbygirlwi
thbrui
sesonherfacewhowas
withthem.
Tsane:
"Someonedr
oppedheratt
hegat
eand
l
eft"
Me:
"Hel
l
ogi
rl
"Isatupst
rai
ght
"
Hel
l
o"
Me:"
Whobr oughtyouhere?"Hereyesglist
ened
wit
htearsherl i
psshiv
ered"It
'sokaydon'tcry
comeher e"shewalkedtomeIpi ckedherup
andplacedheronmyl ap"What'
sy ourname"
"Cassi
e"Shel
ookf
amil
i
arbutIcoul
dn'
tfi
gur
e
outwhodoesshel
ookli
ke
Me:"
Wherei
syourmom"Sheopenedherf
ist
andgav
emeaUSB."What'
sthi
s?"
I
na:
"May
beit
sgotinf
ormat
ionaboutthegi
rlI
wi
ll
gogetmylapt
op"Hedi
sappeared
Sbonga:
"Whoi
sthi
sMama"
Me:
"Af
ri
end"
Sbonga:
"Whathappenedt
oherf
ace?
"
Me:
"Idon'
tknowbaby
"Inacamebackwit
hthe
l
apt
opandsatdownbeforei
nser
ti
ngthesti
ck.
Boom theLuciawaswi
thdi
sgust
ingwoundsal
l
overherfaceandar
ms.
Lucia:"HeyKonkehowIwi shI m doi ngt hisf ace
tofacebutIhav erunoutoft ime.Byt het ime
youar elisteni ngt othisIwoul dbeal ready
dead. "Myhear tskippedabeat" Youwer et he
bestf riendany onecoul deveraskf orbutI
stabbedy ouony ourbackov erandov er
.Toy ou
Iwasmor et henj ustaf ri
endy out ookmeas
yoursi st er.Im sor ryforthebet r
ay alInev er
deser vedy ougi r
lIm acr uelper sonIbet r
ay ed
theonl yper sont hatl ovedme, thatt ooka
man' sl if
ef orme, t
hatgav emel i
fe.Iknow
sayingsor rywonthel pany mor eIwi sht her e
wassomet hi ngIcoul ddot oundoev er y
thing.I t
i
st ruey ouhav etodot her i
ghtt hingbef or eits
tool atenowKar madeci dedt opaymeav i
si t
.
Asy oucanseeal lthesewoundst hatar e
cover edal l ov ermybody .Theyar epai nfuland
havewor ms.I m pay i
ngf orev erythingIdi dt o
you.Remembert hatdayIcamet oy ouand
apologi zedi twasat rapMv eloandI
orchest ratedal lofthatwewant edt hemoneyt o
startanewl if
eawayf rom ev ery
body .Please
donthat ehi mI mt heonewhoputhi m upt ot his
plan.Hewasv ulnerabl eItookadv antageofhi m
i
tdi dhthel pt hathei saweakper sonespeci all
y
wheni tcomest ogirls.IknowIhav enor i
ghtt o
asky out hisafterev erythingIhav edonet oy ou
buty ouar etheonl yper sonIt r
ustandIknow.
Thati sourdaught erCassandr apl easet ake
careofherf orme.Justl i
keIsai dt oy ouy our
brotheri st ooweakandspi nelesswheni t
s
comest owomanhei sseeingCassi e'snanny
andt hatbitchi sabusi ngmybabywhatpai nsI
coul dntpr otecthercozIwasl yi
ngont hebed
endur i
ngt hepai noft hewoundsi nmybody .I
wat chedherwhi ppingmydaught erforno
reason.Ihadt odosomet hi
ngIwoul dntr esti n
peacel eavingmydaught erwi t
ht hatsat an.
Pleaset akecar eofmydaught erIm beggi ng
youKonkedontpuni shherf ormysi nsshei sso
youngshedoesntdeser veall t
hispai n.Shei sa
l
ov elygi rlyouwi ll
lov eher .Shei sallergicin
pork.Whenshegr owupt ell
herhowmuchdoI
l
ov eherandwhydi dIseperatedherfrom her
father.ThankyouIl ov
ey ouunbeli
evablysoI
reall
ydo.Wi shal
ly ourdreamst oprosper."I
putthegi r
ldownandr antothenearest
bathroom andthrewup.
Ina:
"Babear eyouokay"Hehel dmyweav eand
brushedmyback." Askies"Isatdownandcr i
ed
asInaf l
ushedthetoil
et.Ifelthisarms
engulf
ingme" It'
sgoingtobeokaybabe"My
ownbr otherbetr
ayedmewi thmyenemy
numberonenowI 'm expectedt oraisethei
r
baby.Itstoomuchf oroneper sonIal sohave
twotoddlersandunbor nbabyont heway
howev erthechil
disinnocentt oallofthis
•
PHAKAMANI
•
Coul
dhave,shoul
dhavedoesnothel
pIhave
l
ostt
hem bothnowI'
ml ef
twit
hthi
semptiness
andpaininmyheart
.Ithav
ebeenamontheach
passi
ngdayissuf
focati
ngwit
houtt
hem
especi
all
yKi
tKat
.
Ihavebeenanui
sanceapologisi
ngtoherbut
shedoesn'
twannahearitnoinfactshehad
for
givenmebutsherefusedt
ot akemeback.I
misshersomuchI'
ml osingmymi ndwithout
her.
Oneofthemill
ionreasonswhyIl oveKatso
muchisthatsheisnotself
ishifitwas
someoneelseshewoul dn'
thavechoseher
si
sterov
erme.Iadmi reherdecisionashur
tas
i
tis.
Afamilywomanwhochooseherf amil
yover
anyt
hingthat
'sat
urnon.Cl
earl
yittel
l
sthat
onceshehaveafamil
yofherownshewi l
l
chooseherownfamil
yoveranyt
hing.
ImustsaythatMrSi t
hol
eandMr sSit
hole
taughtt
hei
rchildr
enthepar
amountcyoff amil
y
IguessKatinheri
tedi
tfr
om herpar
ents.Iknow
Sqal
okuhl
ewoul
dhav
edonet
hesame.
Mylif
eisgloom, dark,emptywi
thoutmyKi t
Kat
Idon'
tknowhowdi dImadei tt
hisfar.I'
m dying
wit
houthershei stheairt
hatIbreath.There'
s
noli
fewithoutherIhav et
ri
edsev er
al t
imest o
ki
llmysel
fbutI'dthinkofhowunf ai
rthisisfor
Lamiandmyunbor nbaby.
Iwasbeyondshatt
eredwhenIf
oundoutthat
Katsl
eptwit
hTbose.Ial
waysknewthatTbose
l
oveKatI'
m aguyIknowwhenaguyl oveagir
l
asafri
endormorebutIchoset
otrustKatcozI
coul
dseethatshewasn'
tint
oTboseinthatway.
Tboseisli
keabr othertohersot hatmademe
rel
axIguessIrelaxedt oomuchandt hat
bastar
dusedal i
ttl
eoppor tunityhegott oput
hissti
nki
ngdickinmywomannx!Ihav ebeen
l
ockedupi nmybedr oom f orthewhol emont hI
nolongergotowor k, Idon'tbathIdon'tdo
anythi
ngIhavelostpur poseinev er
ything.Kat
givemepurposewi thoutherI '
m goodasdead.
"Hayi
hayiPhakamaniyouneedt ost
op
moppingaroundandgogety ourwomant hi
sis
notonyoustinkbr
a!"shout
edmybr other
Me:"
LeavemealoneJabu"Isai
dcov
eri
ng
myselfwi
thabl
anket
.
Jabu:"
Younev erl
ist
entomeany waybye!
"I
heardhim shuff
li
ngout.Hehavebeencoming
heretocheckifI'
m sti
l
lali
veandgoaft
erthat
.I
wasinmyhousebyt hewaynotKat'
shouse.
"
Mh.mh.mhsies"Thatwasmymot her
'sv
oice
whati
sshedoinghere.Iremovedt
hecover
son
myheadshewasnotal onebutwit
hDadtoo
Dad:"
Yout
hinkify
oul
i
vel
i
keapi
gthesegi
rl
s
wil
lcometoyou?"
Me:
"Hel
l
otoy
out
oodad"
Mom: "it
'sst
inki
ngi
nherePhakamani ,
y ouar
e
st
inki
ngy ouneedtopull
yoursel
ftogethert
his
i
snott heendoftheworl
dmaant hearemany
gi
rlsoutther
e.Leavet
heSithol
egirl
saloneits
t
hei
rlose"Shesai
dopeni
ngt
hecur
tai
nthent
he
wi
ndows
Dad:
"Gohav
eabat
hsony
oudon'
tl
ookgood"
Mom:"Don'
tcandycoatitbabahelookugl
yli
ke
ababoonwiththatbear
edcov er
edonhis
f
ace!!
"
Me:"
Bat
hforwhoKatisnothereshedoesn'
t
wantme.Iwantt
olookgoodforher"
Dad:
"Shedumpedyouwhynotst
ickt
otheone
t
hati
scaringaMngomezul
u"
Me:"
Kati
sthewomanIwantt
ospendmyli
fe
wi
th!Andbesi
dest
heybot
hdon'
twantmeno
more"
Dad:
"Youshoul
dhav
emar
ryt
hem bot
htosol
ve
t
his"
Me:"
Theywer
enotgonnaagr
eeandIal
sodon'
t
l
ikebei
ngapol
ygamyman"
Mom:
"Wakeupnowandhav
eashower
!"
Shepulledtheblanket
sawayfr
om meI
groaned."Iwi
llcl
eanupherewhil
eyoushower
.
JesusIcan'tbeli
eveahumancanliv
einthi
s
rubbi
sh"
Thewerepaperbagsoffood,
emptybot
tl
esof
j
uiceandemptypacket
sofchi
psscat
ter
ed
ar
oundthefl
oor
Ihuff
edanddraggedmy sel
ft othebathroom I
l
ookedmy sel
fint
hemi r
ror.Ireall
ylookedlikea
baboon.I
fKatwouldseemel i
kethisshewoul d
shoutatme.Ismil
edatthet houghtandt ooka
shower.
Ifi
nishedbathi
nganddri
edmy selft
hen
wrappedat owelar
oundmywai stbefor
e
shuffl
ingt
omybedr oom.Iheardmom anddad
tal
ki
ngandst oppedonmyt r
acks
Mom:"I
t'
sonl
yamatteroft
imeZesuli
wef
ind
outy
outri
edtoki
l
lherdaught
er.
..
."
Dad:
"Idi
dn'
tknowt
hatgi
rli
sthei
rdaught
erI
want
edherawayfr
om Phakamani
"
Mom: "Idon'tl
ikethi
sMngomezul uit'
stoo
dangerousnow.Idon' twanty out ogetarr
ested
forabductingMakhosazana.Phakamani will
hateuswhenhef oundoutt haty outr
iedtokil
l
hisgir
lfr
iendandy ouarealsor esponsibl
efor
thedeathoft hatsangomaandt he
disappearanceofMakhosazana"
Dad:
"HewontfindoutandI '
m notresponsi
ble
fort
hatsangoma'sdeath.Sheistheonewho
wasdiggi
ngthingsthatdoesn'
tconcernher
Nkanyambakil
ledher"
Mom: "Thatsangomawashel pi
ngPhakamani'
s
gi
rlf
ri
endMngomezul ushewouldn'thav
edi
ed.
Thisisjustamess.IfZesuli
wefindout
every
thingit
'soverwit
hy ou.
.."
Dad:"
May beit
swon'tcometothatNkanyamba
wil
lkil
lherthemomentshelearnthet
rut
h.He
doesn'
twantanybodytotakeMakhosazana
awayfrom him"
Mom:
"NonoZesul
i
wecan'
tdi
eyouhav
etodo
somethi
ng!"IwantedtohearmorebutIwas
boi
li
ngwithangerIcoul
dn'
tcont
rolmysel
f
Me:
"Wow!
"Theybot
hjumpedi
nshock
Mom: "
Sonhowlonghavey oubeenstandi
ng
ther
e"shesai
dwithashakyvoi
cetotall
y
shockedbymypresence.
Me: "
Iheardeveryt
hing.Howcr uelarey
ouhuh!
!
Iknowy ourhusbandiscruel butyouMama
howdoy oul
ivewithyourselfknowi ngt
hata
womanwhohav echi l
dreniskeptoutofher
wil
l"
Mom:
"I
'm sor
rybaby
"
Me:"Yousorr
y?Isthatal
lyougonnasay.Your
husbandtri
edtoki
llKatandsti
l
lyoukeptquiet
nowy ouwanthermom todie!Whatki
ndofa
womanar eyouhuh!!
"
Dad:
"Mi
ndy
ourt
oneboy
!"
Me:"
Mindmyt onemyf oot
!I'
m goi
ngtotel
lMr
Si
thol
eever
ythingIhopehekil
lyoubast
ard!
"
Dad:"
Heyhey.
.."Hemar
chedt
omehi
swi
fe
pul
ledhi
m away
Mom:
"Boywear
esor
ry.
.."
Me:"Youjustshutupcozyouarecruel l
ikeyour
husband!"ThewayIwasangr yandhur tIeven
for
getmom i shereIunwrappedthetowel and
gotdressedwithoutevenappl
yingl
otiononmy
body
Mom:"
Boypl
easei
fyout
ell
itwi
l
lcauset
oo
mcuhtr
oubl
e"
Me:"It
st i
mey ourfr
iendknowhowcr uelyou
guysar e.Youwill
feeltheSi
thol
e'swr at
hwhenI
tel
lthem thatKatandThandosuf feredbecause
yourhusbandsol dthei
rmothertot hewitch
doctorandKatal mostdiedbecauseofy our
husband.WhenIcomebackIwanty ououtof
here!!
"
ItookmycarkeysDadt ri
edtostoppedmebut
Ididn'
tbar
ge.Whatkindofhumansmyparents
are.Tothi
nkMyKitKatal
mostdiedandshe
suff
eredal
otwi
thThandowhi
l
ethei
rmot
heri
s
sti
l
lali
vemakemesick!
•
NARRATED
•
Mngomezul
uwasf
umi
ngwi
thangerpaci
ngup
anddown.
"
Stophi
m nownkosi
kazibeforeIki
ll
thatboy
wi
thmybarehands!
!"Heroaredinanger
Mr sMngomezul
u:"
Hei
snotanswer
inghi
scall
baba.Youaret
heonewhohavetostopt
hisy
ou
start
edit
!"
Mngomezulu:
"Ihaveworkedhardforever
ythi
ng
Ihavenoonei sgoi
ngtotakealloft.
..
"Hi
swi f
e
cuthi
m shotwithasar
casti
claugh
MrsMngomezulu:"
Wor khard?Ohplease
Mngomezul
uy ouhav eneverworkedhar
d.All
of
thi
swashandedtoy ouwithoutevenadropof
sweat
.Youdon'tknowwhati sthemeaningof
workinghard!Youdon'
tknowhowt obeaman
ofyourowny ouarealwaysdependingon
anotherman.Youdon'thaveballsyousuch..
."
Shehadt ocuthersentenceoffduetoahuge
sl
apt hatl
andedonhercheek.Shest oodthere
i
nshockdi gesti
ngwhatjusthappened
Mngomezul u:"
Don'tyoudar etotalktomelike
I
'my ourfri
endwoman!Idi dallofthi
sforyou
forourchil
drenbutmost lyforyou!Iwantedyou
toseemeasmanofy ourleague!Ihadtodo
whatIhadt odot owi nyourlove!Youwere
nevergonnamar rymeNokusawhenIwaspoor !
Sodon'tyoudar etellmethatshit.Doyou
reali
zethati
fthatboyt el
lMawakhel omuziheis
goingtodie!Nkany ambawi l
lkil
lhim!"
Amani snomanwithoutwealt
ht hathow
Nokusawasrai
sedbyherparents.Shewas
weepingnowshecouldn'
tbel
i
eveherhusband
hi
therandshecan'
tloseanot
herchi l
dthatwi
l
l
ki
l
lher .
MrsMngomezulu:"
Youhavetost
ophim
MngomezuluIcan'
tl
oseanot
herchi
l
dofmi
neI
r
eall
ycan'
t"shesobbed
Mngomezul utookhi
scarkeysanddrovet
o
Nkanyamba.Al l
thewayhewasthinki
nghowt
o
getoutofthismessbuthecoul
dntcomeout
wit
hasol ut
ion.
Mngomezul
u:"
Greet
ingsndoday
amadoda"
Nkanyamba:"
Greet
ingsmyfoot!Thatboyof
yoursi
splayi
ngwithfi
renooneisgoingtotake
myMakhosazanaawayf rom me!!
"Heal r
eady
knewPKi sonhiswaytotel
ltheSit
holeshis
tokol
esheal
waysinfor
m him whenthere'
s
danger.
Mngomezulu:
"I
'mtheonewhobrought
Makhosazanal
ethergonowNkanyambaher
daught
erneedher
!"
Nkanyamba:
"Idon'
tcareifi
twasy ounooneis
t
akingmyMakhosazana!Ev eryonewhot
ryto
t
akehertheywil
ldi
e!!Itol
dy outowarny
our
fr
iend'
swif
et ost
opthisbutnosheispersi
stent
.
Makhosazanaismine.Nowgopr epar
eforyour
son'sf
uneral
"
Mngomezulu:
"Pl
easeNkany
ambadon'
tki
l
lmy
sonI
'm beggi
ngyou"
Nkanyamba:
"Call
him nowandtellhi
mt ostop"
Mngomezulutookouthisphoneandcalledhis
sonbuthewasnotpickingup."
I'
m sorr
ymy
man"
Mngomezulu:
"I
'm beggingyouNkany
amba"he
pl
eadedbuthi
spleadi dn'
thel
p.
Nkanyambal ookedatt hespecialmirrorand
sawPKdr ivi
ngtot heSitholeResidence.He
cli
ckedhisthumbandmi ddl
efingerthecar
rol
ledoverandov erthenboom i twasi nfl
ames.
[
06/
01,
14:
40]W:
59
MZWAKHE
•
I
fweconf
essoursi
ns,
hei
sfai
thf
ulandj
ust
andwi l
lfor
giveoursinsandpur ifyusfrom all
unri
ghteousness.John1: 9.ThatwhatIt hought
buti
t '
sli
keI'
m sti
llbeingpunishedf ormysi ns.
YesImi ghthavenotconf essedinfrontofKat
andapologisebutHeknowdeepdowni nmy
hearthowsor r
yIam f oreveryt
hingIdidt oher.
IwishIcouldturnbackt hehandsoft i
me.My
l
ifetookawor sttur
nI'm nowlivi
ngi nthestreet
l
ikeahoboonedayIcamebackf rom hustli
ng
myshackt ogetherwithmyol dfurniturewas
gone.YouknowIst oodt hereandlaughedso
hardyouknowt hatsadl aughyoul etoutcoz
younolongerhav etearsyouhav ecriedenough.
Everysingledayit'
sgetti
nghar derIfound
my selfaskingwhatam Istil
ldoinginthisworl
d?
Whatam Ihol di
ngonto?Thisi snolif
eno
humanbei ngdeservetoli
velikethisnomat t
er
howheorshehav esinned.I
'mj usta24y ear
oldguyt hatmakemi stakesli
keany bodywhy
can'tIgetmysecondchancei nl i
fe?
It
'stoomuchf orme,myhear tcan'ttakei t
any more.Thisloneli
ness,pov ert
y,suf f
eringit'
s
toomuchf ormenowIcan' thel pmy self.Thisis
i
t,i t
snotlikethere'
ssomeonewhoi sgoi ngto
mi ssmewhenI 'm goneIsawt hecarcomi ng
wheni twascl oseenoughIj umpedont her oad
Irememberhear i
ngscr eechingsoundt hena
boom soundt henextmi nuteIwasl y ngont he
roadIcouldn'tfeelmybodyev er
ythingseem so
blurry
"Ohshi twhatthef ucki swrongwi thyou!!"I
hear dhisvoicefirstbef or
eIgott oseehi sface
hel ookedsopi ssedandwor ri
edatt hesame
ti
memyey eswer ef all
i
ngmet hrought he
blurri
nessofmyt ear sIwouldn'tmistakean
olderv ersi
onofmet hequest i
oni swhoi st hi
s
personcozIhel lsur eknowt hatthisisnot
Rober tZulu"Stupidboyy ouarest il
lstupideven
aftersomanyy ear s.Robertisnoty ourf ather"
herwor dsechoedi nmyear sitsonlyt henI
want edt oli
veandf oundanswer sbuti twas
al
readytool
ateIhopeheavenwil
lbeabet
ter
pl
acethanthi
scall
ouscoldworl
d.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Istar
edatt hisseri
ouswoman'sf
aceandI m
confusedasf uck.HowcanIbepregnantwhenI
l
ostmyt wi
nsandIhav en'
tsl
eptwit
hany one
eversinceIlostthem.
Me:
"Noway
sMat
hatcan'
tbet
rue"
Mom: "I
'
m 47y earsoldNkosist
handil
eIhave6
chi
ldrenincl
udingtheonethatIlostand
yoursel
fIknowwhatI 'mtalki
ngabout.Umithi
wena!"(
Youar epregnant
!)Shesaidthelast
wordswi thangerinhervoi
ce.
Dad:
"Youarepr
egnantagain!
!?
"Ist
oodupf
rom
mom'slapshepul
ledmet othesofa
Mom:"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ngwear
est
il
ltal
ki
ng
t
oyou!
"
Me:
"Mom Idon'
tknowokaymay
bey
ouar
e
maki
ngami st
ake"
Mom: "
I'
m notyourf
oolNkosi
sthandi
l
eyouar
e
pr
egnant!There'
snoneedtoli
etousisi
t
Phakamani?"
Me:
"Idi
dn'
tsl
eepwi
thany
oneMama"
Dad:
"Thenhowdoy
ouexpl
aint
hepr
egnancy
?"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow!
"
Dad:
"Don'
trai
sey ourv
oiceatus!Havey
ouev
er
hear
dofprotect
ionNkosist
handil
ehuh?
"
Me:"JesusDadIsai dIfuckingdon'tknow!I
can'
tbelieveyouguy sdon'tbel
ieveme!Ijust
l
ostmyt winsandtheloveofmyl ifewhenwasI
supposet ogetti
met ohav esex!"
Mom:"
Isn'
tthathowyoudealwi
thpai
nand
hav
esex!"Ichuckl
edandshookmyhead
Me:"
Allt
hankstoy ourreckl
essness!Whatki
nd
ofamotherthatcan'tseethatachil
dtheysay
i
t'
shersisnothers!Ifyouonlyyouweren'
t
carelessyou'dr
aisedmeandt aughtmehowt o
deal wit
hpaincozt heonlywayIknowhowt o
deal wit
hpainistohav esex!Thisisal
lyou
mot her!
"Sheslappedmesohar dmyv i
sion
studdedwi thst
ars."I
fIknewbet terI
'
dsayy ou
neverwant edme!"Shegasped
Dad:"
Nkosi
sthandi
l
e!!
"Ist
oodupt
ear
s
st
reamingdownmyf ace
Me: "Whatdadhuh?Youhav enoi deahowmuch
i
t'
shur tmet hatallyouseeinmei sahoe.You
don'tknowhowmuchIhav etri
edt ocont ai
n
my selffrom hav i
ngsexandy out wodon't
beli
ev emewhenIsayIdi dn'
t!
"Iwi pedmyt ear
s
vi
gor ously"Youknowwhatmay beIshoul d
acceptmy selfthi
swhoIam!Isl eeparound
whenI '
mi npain!I'
m ahoe!"Igrabbedthecar
keysont heglasst abl
e.Mom wasweepi ngmy
si
st ersandbr otherwereshockedwher easLami
wasj ustconf used
Dad:
"Don'
tyoudar
ewal
koutonuswhenwear
e
t
alki
ngwher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
Me:
"Tof
indsol
acei
nadi
ck!
"Iwal
kedout
Dad:"
Nkosisthandil
ecomebackher e!
"Ii
gnor
ed
hi
m wentout .Ij
umpedi nt
oMj'scaranddrov
e
outai
ml essl
yallowingmytear
stofall
eff
ort
lessly.
Itr
iedtocal lmyt herapistherphonerangt ono
answer .Ipresumedshei sbusyandI '
m not
goingtot ryagain.IcalledTbosehissentme
str
aighttov oicemai l
formyowngoodt hatwas
ablessingi ndisguisecozIdon'ttrustmy sel
f
whenI '
m hur ti
nglikethis.Hehavebeenact i
ng
str
angenj enay eIdon' tknowwhyIf eelli
keI'm
l
osinghi m.Dadwascal li
ngmenonst opI
switchedof fmyphone
If
oundmy sel
finfr
ontofKonke'shouse.Idr
ove
i
nafterthegatewasopenedf orme.Myt win
br
otherwasal r
eadywaiti
ngformeatt hedoor.I
st
eppedoutoft hecarandrantohim.Ithrew
myselfonhisarmsandbur sti
ntoaloudcry.
I
na:"Heyheysiswhat '
sgoi ngon"Icouldn'
t
utt
erawor dIcri
edl ouder.Hepickedmeup
bri
dalstyl
eandwal kedwi thmei nsi
dethe
house.Hesatdownont hecouchandputme
onhislapsIburi
edmyheadohhi sneckwett
ing
i
twithmyt ear
s."Sshhdon' tcrysweethear
tit
's
goi
ngt obeokay"
Konke:
"Iwi
llgogetwaterf
orher
"Shecame
backwithwaterIdr
ankhal
fofit
.
Me:
"Thankyou"Shet
ookt
hegl
assandpl
acedi
t
ont
heglasstable
I
na:
"Tal
ktomeTwi
nni
e"
Me:"
MamanoBaba"Ist
art
edcr
yingal
lov
er
agai
n
I
na:"
Aretheyokay
?What
'
swr
ongsi
stal
k
pl
ease"
Me:"
Yestheyarefi
ne.
..
theydon'
tbel
i
ev emeI
di
dn'
thavesexTwinni
eandmom t hi
nksI'
m
pr
egnantIdon'
tknowwhatisshetal
kingabout
Ihaven'
tsl
eptwit
hany
onesi
nceIl
ostt
he
twi
ns"Isobbed
I
na:
"Whywoul
dmom t
hinky
ouar
epr
egnant
"
Me:
"Shef
eltmyst
omachandshesayi
tshar
d"
Konke:
"Don'
tfr
eakoutshecoul
dbewr
ong"
Me:"Sheiscertai
nI'm pr
egnantmfazika
Twinnieandthatscaresme.Coulditpossibl
e
thatI'
m cari
ngat ekel
osheormaybeIhav e
somei l
lnessthatmakemyst omachhar d"
I
na:"
Theonl
ywayt
ofi
ndouti
stogot
othe
doct
or"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIwantt
ohearwhatt
hedoct
or
wi
ll
saytome"
Ina:
"Iwil
lbewit
hy ousi
syoudon'
thavet
obe
scared.Let
'sgonowbefor
etheycl
ose"
Me:
"Okay
"
Ina:
"Iwi
l
lgochange"Hewentupst
air
sand
camebackthenwel ef
twi
thhi
scar"I
t'
sgoi
ng
tobefi
nestopcryi
ng.Whenyoucr
yIfeell
ike
cry
ingt
oo"Ichuckl
edandwipedmytears.
Uponarr
ivalheopenedt hedoorformeIgotout
thenhecl
oseitbefor
et akingmyhandtohis.
Wemadeourwayi nluckyitsoneofhi
sfri
end
sowegoti n
Doc:"Boylongtime!"Chil
l
ysauceyodwaI'
m
tel
l
ingy ou.ThethingsI'
ddotohim damnI
couldfeelmy sel
fgetti
ngwetinst
antl
y.
I
na:
"Boyumdi
diwakho"Thedocl
aughed
Doc:
"Howzi
tmyman"
I
na:
"I
'm gooddawgy
ou"Theybumpedf
ist
Doc:
"Neverbeenbet
termyman. ..
Ohwher e'
smy
mannersNkosazanaenhle"Hereachedformy
handandkissedi
tIblushed"Howar eyou"
Me:
"I
'mf
inehowar
eyou"
Doc:
"I
'm moret
henf
inet
oseesuchbeaut
yin
mysugery"
Ina:"
Leav
emyt wi
nsi
steral
oneman"He
slappedhisar
m
Doc:
"Shei
syourt
winsi
ster
?"
I
na:
"Noshei
snoty
oumor
on!
"
Doc:
"Shei
sbeauti
ful
Ican'
thel
pbutwonder
howcomey ouar
esougly"Theyl
aughed
I
na:
"Youar
esi
ckshal
lwesi
tdownpl
ease"
Doc:
"Ohy
esyoumayIapol ogi
seNdkov
ukazi
yami
"(myQueen)IswearItur
nedr
ed
Wesatdown
I
na"
MyQueenukunukashei
snogoar
eabr
a"
Doc:
"Comeonwhat
'
swi
thy
ounow"
I
na:"
Fuckboyndi
nicanyoubepr
ofessi
onal
pl
ease"Thedoclaughed
Doc:
"HowcanIhel
pyouguy
s"
I
na:"Mysi
sterwasshotamonthagoshelost
hertwi
nsbutnowmom t hi
nksshei
spregnant
whichi
soddcozshehav en'
tbeeni
nti
mate"
Doc:"Mhokay .
.MissSitholeli
eonthebedand
l
et'sseeifyouar ereal
l
ypr egnant
"Istoodup
wentl i
eont hebedaf t
ert aki
ngoffmyshoes.
"Li
ftupyourdress"Ididashesai d"OkayIwi l
l
applyacoldgel neh"InoddedIwasner vous
Inaheldmyhandj ustt
hent hedoorburstopen
i
ncameDad.Il ookedatI na
Me:
"Youcal
l
edhi
m"
I
na:
"I
'm sor
ryhewaswor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Dad:
"Mol
odoc"
Doc:
"MrSi
thol
eSi
r"
Dad:
"That
'smeyoucancar
ryon"Thedoct
or
movedthemachi
neonmyt ummytheheart
beat
fi
l
ledther
oom.
Doc:
"Woahsuchast
ronghear
tbeat
"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeandoc"
Doc:
"Youar
eindeedpr
egnantMi
ssSi
thol
e"
Me:
"ButhowImeanIwaspr
egnantwi
tht
wins
onl
yandt
heybot
hdi
ed"
Dad:
"I
m al
soconf
useddoc"
Doc:"MissSi
tholewascar r
yingtr
iplet
s.Theone
thatsurvi
vedisfrat
ernalwhichmeansshe
wasn'tgonnalooklikethetwinsasshehadher
ownpl acent
aandwashi ddenbyt hetwins"
Dad:
"Wow!
"
I
na:
"Thi
sisamazi
ng"
Me:
"Yousai
dshe?"Iwhi
speredt
ear
sofjoy
maki
ngthei
rwayonthesideofmyface.
Doc:
"YesI
m sor
ryt
odi
closet
hegender
"
Me:
"Nonoit
'sf
inedocmyli
ttl
econquerdaddy
i
sgoingt
obesohappy"Igr
inned.
ThankyouLordf
orgi
vi
ngmeanot
her
oppor
tuni
tyt
obeamom agai
n.
Doc:
"Doy
ouwantpr
int
sout
"
Me:
"Yesofcour
se"Inawi
pedthegel
onmy
t
ummyt henhehel
pedmeup.Itookt
he
pr
int
out
sthenwemadeourwayout
.
Dad:
"Li
tt
leAngel
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"Okay
.Let
'sgoTwi
nni
e"
Dad:"ComeonIssyyou.
..
"Hisri
ngi
ngphone
dist
urbedhi
m.Het ooki
toutandanswerdt
he
call
"Mngomezulu..
.y
ho.
..
I'
m onmyway"He
l
ookedv er
ydist
urbed
Me:
"I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Dad:
"I
napl
easet
akey
ourt
winsi
sterhome"
Me:
"ButIdon'
twantt
ogohome"
Dad:
"I
nadoasIsay
"
Me:
"What
'sgoi
ngondad?
"
Hesighedheavil
yandbrushedhi
shead
suddenl
yIbecamescaredofwhathewill
say
"Dad"Iwhi
spered
Dad:
"It
'
sPhakamanihewasi
nvol
vedi
nacar
acci
dent"Myhear
tski
ppedabeat
Me:
"Whi
chhospi
tal
ishei
nIhav
etoseehi
m"
Helookedev
ery
wher
ebutatme"
Dadwhi
ch
hospi
tal
"
Dad:
"I
'm sor
ryl
i
ttl
eangel
"
Me:
"Nononowhatdoy
oumeany
ouar
esor
ry"
Dad:
"Hebur
ntwi
thhi
scari
ntoashes"
I
na:
"Yho!
!"
Ist
oppedbreat
hingf
orfewmi nut
esmyknees
weakenedandmysightbecomeblurwi
tht
ears
Me:
"That
'sal
i
e!No!
"
Dad:
"I
'm sor
rypr
incess"
Me:"
Nodaddymychocol at
ecakei snotdead
Noo!
"Hepul ledmeclosetohisarmsIwiggled
myselfhet
ightenedhi
sgri
pIletoutapainful
cr
y.
.
.
Iknowi
tsshortI
'm notf
eel
i
ngwel
lpl
easepr
ay
formei
tsverybad
[
06/
01,
14:
41]W:
60
VI
NCENT
•
"Ohshi
t!
"Icursedloudl
yhel
ookedatmeIgota
shockofmylife.I
tmusthav
et ookmeminut
es
tocomebackt oli
feandbythatti
mehi
seyes
wereal
readyclosed
"
Wakeup!
"
Isl
appedhischeeks.Peopl
ewerest
art
ingt
o
gat
heraroundIpickedhi
m upandputhimi
n
mycarthendrovetothehospi
tal
.
Mymi ndwasr eeli
ngwit
ht houghtswhoisthis
boy?Coulditbepossibl
ethatIhav eachi
ldthat
Idon'
tknowof ?ButhowImeanIwasapl ayer
butIalwaysprotect
edmy selfnotunl
essi
fhe
i
s..
..
.
Itur
nedaroundandl
ookedathi
m hei
sjusta
combinat
ionofmeandherohshit
!
Uponar
ri
val
hewasr
ushedt
oER.Isatdown
buryi
ngmyheadi nmyhands.Isawmypast
fl
ashingi nfr
ontofme.ApastIf eared,apastI
wantedi ttostayburi
ed,Iknewonedayi twil
l
catchupwi thmebutnotl ikethi
s!Howdi dhe
knowme?Whywoul dhejumpont heroadifhe
doesn'tknowme?Howdi dheknowt hatIwill
beinNewcast l
e?Questionswer er
unninginmy
mindandIhat edthatt
heyr emai
nunanswer ed.
Itookmyphoneandcal lMzeet
Mzeet
:"
BossV"
Me:
"I
'mi
nshi
t!
"
Mzeet
:"
Tal
ktomeBossV"
Me:"
Iwantmywifeandchil
drenprotect
ed
Mzeetmakesur
et heydon'
tnoti
cethough.
"
Mzeet
:"
Whati
sgoi
ngoni
fImayask"
Me:
"DoasIsayMzeet
!"
Mzeet
:"
I'
m oni
twhatabouty
ouar
eyousaf
e?"
Me:"
Idon'
tcar
eaboutmeasl
ongasmywi
fe
andchi
ldr
enaresaf
e."
Mzeet
:"
Icoul
dcomebossV"
Me:
"NoIwi
l
lcal
lyouwhenIneedy
ou"
Mzeet
:"
Okay
"Ihungup.
"
MrZwaner
ight
"
Me:
"Yesdochowi
she"
Doc:
"Hebr
okehi
sneckandl
eftl
eghewoul
dbe
fi
ne"
Me:
"Thanky
oucanIseehi
m"
Doc:"Twomi nutesheneedt orest"Heledthe
wayandl eftmet her
e.Ibreat
hedoutloudlyand
walkedtowar dshisbedhewassl eepingthank
GodcozIdon' tt
hinkI'
mr eadytofacehimI'm
st
il
l conf
usedmy self
.
IwalkedtohisdoctorandaskedforDNAt estto
bedone.Het ookmysal i
vathenIl
efttothe
hotel
.Itookal ongassshowerall
owingwat er
tohitmeasmymi ndwasbusybui l
ding
mount ai
ns.
Iwrappedatowelandshuf f
ledtothebedroom I
foundmyphoneringingont hebed.Isatdown
andtookitmyheartskippedabeatwhenIsaw
whowascal l
i
ng.
Me:
"Mamakhe"
Wi
fey
:"Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ourcal
lbaby"
Me:"
I'
m sorr
ythemeet
ingt
ookf
orev
erIj
ust
ar
ri
vedinthehotel
"
Wi
fey
:"I
shegi
vi
ngy
oupr
obl
ems?
"
Me:
"Nomysweetswef i
nal
i
sedev
ery
thi
ng
t
oday.Wegott
hetender
"
Wi
fey
:"That
'swonder
ful
newshubbycongr
ats"
Me:"Allt
hankstoy ouforopeni
ngmyey es
sthandwasami withoutyouI'
m nothi
ng.Il
ove
youMaj obeandIcan'timagineli
fewit
houtyou.
Youar emylif
e."Icouldfeelmysel
fgett
ing
emot i
onal
Wi
fey
:"Ohbabey
oumakemewannacr
y"
Me:
"Pr
omi
semeonet
hing"
Wi
fey
:"Any
thi
ngBabakhe"
Me:
"Promi
semeyouwi
l
lneverl
eavemeno
mat
terwhatt
haty
ouwi
llal
waysbymysi
de"
Wif
ey:"
Ipledgedi
nfr
ontofGod,
ourfami
li
es
andfr
iendsNgethet
il
ldeat
hdousapart
"I
smil
edshef i
ll
edmyheartwi
thj
oy.
Me:
"Il
ovey
ousomuch"
Wi
fey
:"Il
ovey
out
oobaby
"
Me:
"Ki
ssoursonf
orme"
Wi
fey
:"Wi
l
ldost
handwasami
"
Me:
"LetmenapmybabyIhadal
ongday
"
Wifey:
"Okaylove"Ihungupf eel
i
ngdiffer
ent
emotions.Il
ov emywi f
eli
vingwithoutheri
snot
evenimaginable.Shemakest hewholeofme
happyinawayIcan' tdescri
be.Shei smylight
i
nt hedarkness,sheisthereasontosmi l
eev en
whenI '
m sad.I'
m afr
aidI'
m abouttofacemy
bi
ggestf
earwhichi
stol
oseherwhent
hetr
uth
comesout.Ohboyt
hatwi
ll
betheendofme.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Lifeisunpredi
ctablenoti
nami ll
ionyear
shav eI
thoughtbyt hi
stimebutiPKwi l
lbedead.Its
feelssosurrealIcan'
tbeli
eveeventhoughwe
heardt henews3day sback.Hisdeathwas
tragi
candunt imely.I
t'
sli
kesomeonewi l
ltell
met hatallthi
sisjustadream whenIcallhi
m
hewi ll
answermeandsaychi cken.
Ididn'
twanthimt ocallmethatanymorebut
LordknowshowdoIl ongtohearhim call
me
j
ustt ohearhisvoi
ce.Lif
eisreall
yunfai
rhow
canGodt akesuchay ounggoodper sonli
ke
him andleavepeopleli
kemygr andmother.Yes
ButiPKmademi st
akesinhisli
febuthedidn't
deservetodieli
kethisandsoear l
y.
Iwasst i
l
lhoppingt hatonedayt heywi llget
backtogetherwi t
hsi sKat.Whataboutt he
unbornbabiest hesister
sarecar r
yingr i
ght
don'tt
heydeser vetoknowt heirfather.I
'm
beyondshatteredrightnowt hatguywasl ikean
ol
derbrothertome.Hegav eushomenotonl y
di
dheboughtusahomeheal sofi
lleditwi t
h
j
oyandwar mth.
Igottoknowhowi tsfeel sli
ketoliv
echeese
l
ife.
Ineverimagi nedmy selfhavingan
all
owanceof10kev er
ymont h.Hepromisedto
buymeacaronmybi rthday .Hewasagood
brothert
ome, agoodf athert oLamiandagood
boyfri
endt osisKat.Youknowwhatpai nsmei s
thatIcan'trecall
thedaywher eIshowedhim
mygr ati
tudef orevery
thi nghehaddonef orus.
SomethingIdi scoveredaboutmeduri
ngmy
ther
apysessionsi sthatsometimesI
'm
unappr
eci at
ive,quicktojudgeandIf
eell
iket
he
worl
dowesmeandt r
ustmeIwasoblivi
ousbut
I
'm workingoni t.Aft
erBangisagamom and
dadinsi
stedthatIseeat her
api
standImust
saythesessi
onsar er
eall
yhelpf
ul.Ther
e'salot
Idi
scoveredaboutmy sel
fandotherthi
ngs.
Dadoncet ookmet ohisconstructi
oncompany
andthat'
swhenIr eali
zewhatdoIwant .Iwon't
l
ietoy outheyaretr
eati
ngmel ikeI'mtheirown
i
nsomanyy ear
sIhavenev erf
eltthi
shappy
wellexceptnowwi t
hbutiPK'sdeath.SisKuhle
i
scry i
ngnonest opsheisreall
ynotcopi ng.
Lami i
salsonaggingaboutseeinghi sf
at heri
ts
l
ikehecansenset hat'
ssomet hingiswrong.
SisKatsigh!SisKatlockedher selfinhersand
butiPK'
sbedr oom ev ersinceshef oundout .I
'm
sowor r
iedaboutherwhati fsheki llsherself
thatgi
rllovePKwi thev eryfi
berofherbody .I
wishthi
st imeshewi llstopthinkingaboutme
thati
tshur tmewhenshei shur t
ingandal low
met obet hereforher.SisKathav ebeent here
withmesi nceIwasal it
tlegi
rlIdon' tknow
whatI'
dbewi thouthershei smyr ock.
Shehav ebeenal waysbymysi de,maki ngsure
thatI'
m happy,supporti
ngme, feedingme,
comf or
ti
ngme, prot
ectingmeev enwhenIdon' t
showappr eci
ationsomet imes.I
nt hisdif
fi
cult
ti
meshei sgoingt hroughIwannabet herefor
her.IwonderifsheisokayImeani fshehav en'
t
doneany t
hingst upi
d.
Thepar entsarewor ri
edaboutherdadwantt o
breakdownt hehouseact uall
yshelocked
herselfi
nsi dethehousewecan' tgeti
nside
eveni nthegate.Icouldn'tsl
eepIwast urni
ng
andt ossingithardtofallasleepwit
hal l
the
thoughtst hatarecrashi
ngonmymi ndandt he
tearsthatar ewetti
ngmypi l
l
ow.
Il
ongt obeinherarmsr i
ghtnow, feel
i
ngt he
heatofherbodyandherar mswr appedaround
me.Sheal waysknowhowt omakemef eel
bett
er.Igotupandt ur
nedthelightonthen
checkedtheti
me2: 00am.Iroll
edoutofbed
andwor emysleepersIwasi nmyshor tsi
lkpjs.
Imademywaydownst ai
rs.Iwanted3glasses
ofwinetomakemesl eepthathowImanageto
sl
eepforthepassed3days.Ihear
dsomeone
snuf
fli
ngIgotafri
ghtandturnedt
hel
ighton
Me:"
GeeMawhatar
eyoudoingi
nthedark!
"
shewasseat
edont
hecouchdri
nki
ngwine"
Mom:
"Cantsl
eepwi
thoutt
hose3gl
assesof
wi
nehuh"Ibi
temyl
i
p
Me:
"Umhno"
Shechuckl
ed
"
Howdi
dyouknow"
Mom: "
Iknowallmychil
dren"Ismiledand
walkedtoher"
Gogetagl ass"Iwentt othe
ki
tchenandcamebackwi thaglasst hensat
downnexttoher.Ispot
tedusedtissuessome
havebloodonit
.
Me:
"Youar
ebl
eedi
ngagai
n"
Mom: "I
t'
snothingdon'
tworr
yabouti
tpour
yoursel
faglassbutdon'tmakei
tahabi
t.
Alcoholdoesntmakethepaingoawayfor
ever
i
tsonlyforthosefewhourswhenyouaredr
unk
andforgotaboutever
ythi
ngbutwhenyousober
upit
sal l
comecr ashi
ngback"
Me:"EhMama"Ipour edmysel
faglassandsip
onit.HerfacewasredandhereyestooIcoul
d
tel
lthatshewascryi
ng."I
ssydidn'
tmeanto
saythosewor dsMamadon'tt
akethem to
heart"
Mom:"Butt
heyaret
rue.HowcanInotseethat
t
hebabywebur i
edi
snotmine?Iwasr eckl
ess
i
ndeed"shesi
ppedonherwine
Me: "Mayoubei
nghardony our
self
.The
situati
onmusthavebeenhardforyou.
Iknow
Issydidn'
tmeantosaythosewordsshewas
j
ustangr y
"
Mom: "
Shehav eev eryr
ighttobeangryIdidn'
t
dealwithasituati
onasamot hersupposeto.
I'
m sureitmusthav ebeenconf usi
ngandscary
forherthatshemi ghtbepregnantwhenshe
knowst hatshelostthetwins.I
nsteadof
comf orti
ngheranddeal withasi t
uationathand
Ijudgedher .Whatki ndofamot herIam"She
l
aughedwi pingof fhert ears.SisKatusual l
ydo
thatt oo,cr yi
ngandl aughing." Andnowshe
thinkInev erwant edherwhi chi snottrue
sweet heart.Ilov ehersomuchandIwasso
happyt olear nt hatal lmyt earswer ejusta
wast emybabygi rli
sal i
vet oapoi ntthatI
endedupf ocusi ngoncomf ort
ingheronl yand
neglect edKuhl ef orgetti
ngt hatshei salso
hur t
ing.Shei sal sogoi ngt hrought hesame
painI ssyi sgoi ngt hrough.Youseeev enthat
stil
laddonwhatki ndofamot herIam.It rul
y
don'tdeser vetobecal l
edamot her"She
l
aughedagai nt ear sr ol
li
ngdownherr edcheeks
"I
'm af ai
lureofamot her,wifeandwoman"
Me:"That'
snottrueMama.Youar ethemost
wonder f
ulwomanIev erseen.Themost
i
ncredibl
emom Ihav eev erseen.Wej ustmet
butwithint
hisshortspaceoft i
meIf eelli
keyou
havebeenar oundallalong.Themother l
ylov
e
youshowingmeev erydayit
sbl i
ssfulandI '
m
for
evergratefultof
inall
ytastewhatmot herl
y
l
ovefeelslike.Youacceptedmewi thwar m
handsevenaf termymom i st her easonbehi nd
youranguishof23y ears.Pleasedon' tbehar d
onyourself"shesmiledandwi pedhert ears
Mom: "
Thanky
ousweethear
tyourwordsar
e
touchi
ngmetheymakemer eal
i
zeI'
m nott
hat
badneh"shel
aughed
Me:"Noy ounotMama.Youar ehumant oowho
saidwheny ouareol dyoudon' tmakemi st
akes?
Mistakesar ethereforust olearn.Youwer e
happyt hatyourdaught erwhoy outhoughtdied
i
sal i
v eandy ouwant edtogi v
eheral lofthe
l
ov ey ouwer erobbedachancet ogi
vet oher.
Anot herthi
ngisI ssyisusedt obeherown
mot herandf at
hershei snotusedbei ng
repri
mandedandshout edsoshel ostitand
saidhur t
fulwordsshedi dn'tmean"
Mom:
"ButIshoul
dhav
ehandl
edt
hesi
tuat
ion
better
.HowcanInotknowt hatt
hebabyshei
s
cari
ngsurvived.I
m supposetoknowabout
thesethi
ngsI '
m aprophetf
orcry
ingoutl
oud!
I'
m souselessnjeargh"
Me:"Youhav
ebeentooconsumedi nf
indi
ng
Mamaandl ostf
ocusonothert
hings.
"She
chuckled
Mom:"Youknowhowtomakeanoldwoman
f
eelbett
erMissMhl
ongo"Ismi
l
ed
Me:"Ohi
tssuchhear
twar
mingtohearthat
MommyQueen"shesmi l
edandpinchedmy
cheek
Mom:
"Youar
esobeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"Thanky
ouMama"
Mom: "
ButI'm af
rai
dthiscruelworldwil
ldestr
oy
yourbeauty.Youknowwheny ouareapar ent
youwishy oucanputallyourchi
ldrenintoa
cagesot hatnoharm andev i
lspiri
tscangetto
them.Youwannapr otectthem from all
the
cruelt
iesofthiswor l
dandwantt hem t
ost ay
happyal lt
hetimebutt hatisnotpossibleand
i
tssosad.Youhav etoletthem grow,meet
people,explor
ear oundthewor ldandfind
themselves."Shesighed" Somet i
mesy our
chil
drenmi ghtthi
nky ouar ecl
ingyorov er
protecti
veory oudon'ttr
ustthem butitsnot
them youdon'ttrustit
st hi
scruel wor
ldwel i
ve
i
n"
Me:
"Wow!
"Igul
peddownal
lofmywi
ne
Mom:
"Haywenadr
inkl
i
keal
ady
!"Il
aughed
Me:
"Thanky
ouMama"
Mom:
"Forwhat
?"
Me:
"Foraccept
ingmewithwar
m handsand
l
ovi
ngmel ikeI
'
my ourown"
Mom:"
Thatwhatamotherdosweet
hear
tIdon'
t
needt
obethankedf
orthat
"
Me:
"St
il
lmymom causedy
oui
mmensepai
n"
Mom:
"Ican'
thol
dthatagai
nsty
ou.Don'
twor
ryI
wi
l
lbr
ingherhomesaf
e"
Me:
"Youknowwher
eshei
s?"Ibeamed
Mom: "
YeahbutIcan'
tgett
hroughsheisver
y
prot
ected"Isawr
edli
quidcomingoutofher
nose
Me:"
Yournoseisbleedi
ng"shepl
acedherglass
onthethegl
asstableandtookati
ssuebefore
wipi
nghernose"Don'ty
outhinky
oushouldsee
adoctor?
"
Mom:
"Adoct
orwon'
thel
ptr
ustme"
Me:
"Howdoy
ouknow?
"
Mom: "
Hei sfi
ght
inghedoesn'
twanttol
ether
goitsallcomi
ngbacktome.I'
mf aci
ngamost
dangerousevi
l."
Me:"WhoisheMama?Ishet
heonet
hatmake
yournosebl
eedbuthow?
"
Mom:"Sshhquietnowwecan'tt
alkaboutt
his
i
tsdangerousespeci
all
yfory
ou
Me:
"Howdanger
ousi
tisf
ory
ou"
Mom:"Betweenmeandhi
m oneofushavet
o
di
e"Ishotmyeyesupmyheartt
hudded
Me:"NoMamast opt
hisIcan'
tal
l
owy
out
odo
t
his"Shechuckl
ed
Mom:
"Ohcozy
ouar
emymot
herneh"
Me:"No!Idon'
twantyoudi ebecauseofme.I
won'tbeabletoli
vewit
ht hatIlov
ey ouMaand
Ican'
tloseyou.MaybeGoddoesn' twantust o
fi
ndMamaImeanwhydoesi thavetobet hi
s
dangeroustofi
ndherpleasestopit"Isobbed
Mom: "Heyheycomeher e"Shepull
edmetoher
breastandwrappedherarmsar oundme"Sshh
Iwon'tdiemyGodandmyancest orswon'
tl
et
medownl i
kethatI
fitdoeshappenthatmean
i
tswi l
lbemyt i
me"
Me:
"Idon'
twanty
out
odi
eMama"
Mom:
"Doy
oubel
i
evei
nGod?"
Me:
"Godhadl
etmedownsev
eral
timessot
o
answery
ourquest
ionnoIdon'
t"
Mom:
"Doy
oubel
i
evei
nancest
ors"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Mom: "
Theny ouhavetobeli
evei
nmecozI
bel
ieveinbothGodandancestor
s.Don'tworr
y
okay"InoddedshekissedmyhairIsnuggl
ed
cl
osershesmel lsoheavenl
y.
"Oht
hereyouar
e"Thatwasdaddyhey
awned
andshuf
fl
edtous.Ipul
l
edback
Dad:
"Arey
ouguy
sokay
"Hesai
dkneel
i
ngi
n
fr
ontofMama
Mom:"Yesj
usthav
ingmot
heranddaught
er
bondi
ngthi
ngi
e"
Dad:"That'
ssosweet
"Helookdeepinherey
es
l
ikehei ssear
chi
ngsomethi
ng"Youwere
bleedingagai
n"Hepl
acedhishandonher
cheek
Mom:
"It
oldy
ounott
owor
ryabouti
t"
Dad:
"HowcanInotwor
ryMommyQueen"
Mom:"I'
mfineokay"Sheki
sseddad'shandthat
wasplacedonhercheekandclosedhereyes
l
ett
ingoutabreath.
Dad:"Tomor rowI'
mt aki
ngy outothedoct or"
Mom openedherey es.I
'm sureshedoesn' t
wantt ostresshi
mt hatiswhyshedi dn'ttel
lher
t
her ealreasonbehindhernosebl eed.If
elt
real
l
ybadshamecozshei sdoi ngallofthisfor
me.Whati fshedies?
Mom:
"I
fthatwi
l
lmakey
ouhappyi
t'
sokay
"
Dad:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Mom: "
Ilov
ey out
oodaddyki
ng"Dadnear
edhis
faceonherfaceIcl
ear
edmythroatt
heyl
ooked
atme
Me:"
Ha.a"Ishookmyheadtheyl
aughedIknow
oncetheystar
ttheywon'
tst
op
Dad:
"Hai
sukacan'tamankisshi
swif
enow
cl
oseyoureyeschil
d"Hepull
edmom'sf
ace
cl
osetohi
m andki
ssedherdeepl
ythatmom
moaned.
Me: "
ShouldIopenmyey esnow"Ofcour seI
didn'
tclosethem Il
ovewatchingthem their
l
ov eisoutofthi
swor l
dshame.Dadt reatMama
l
ikeshei saneggshewi l
lbreakit
'ssocut e.
Dad:"Godthischildwhyareyounotsleepi
ngat
thist
imeIcan' tmakelovetomywi f
ewuweul a
nathi
"mom andIgi ggl
edheshookhisheadand
stoodupt henpickedupMamabr idalstyl
e
"Don'tst
ayupt il
llat
eThandoaft
erthatone
glassgotosl eep.Iwil
lcomedownt ocheckon
youIfIdarefindy ouheremmh."
Me:
"Youwon'
tdaddy
"
Dad:"
Good"Het urnedandl eftwithMamawho
wasgiggli
ngnonst op.Thisi swhatIcall
love
whereismyMawakhel omuzi l
ookingf
or
Zesul
iwebakithi
?I'm wait
ingcanheshowup
al
readybathongandt hiswinei snothel
pingcoz
i
t'
smaki ngmehor ny.JustlikedaddysaidIhad
onel
astgl
asst
henwentt
osl
eep.
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
Me:"FuckoffmaanMj
!"Hel
aughedandpul
l
ed
of
ftheblanket
s
Mj
:
"Wakeywakey
!"
Me:
"Ngi
zokukhahl
elay
ezwa!
"(Iwi
l
lki
cky
ou!
)
Mj
:
"Woahchi
l
lyouar
esummoneddownst
air
s"
Me:
"Whathav
eIdone"
Mj:
"I
'm nottel
l
inggetupIwil
lmakey
ourbed
whi
leyouf r
eshenupkiddo"
Me:
"St
opcal
l
ingmeki
ddoI
'
m ol
dert
heny
ou!
"
Mj:
"I'
mthemansoitsmakemeolder
.Idon'
t
carei
fyourmamapushedyououtMayand
mineinNovembert
omey ouar
eakid"
Me:"
Mx m akidi
syourdick"Hecackl
ed
t
hrowinghisheadback
Mj
:"
GetupMi ssMhl
ongoMrMj Si
thol
ewantto
makeyourbedwhi
leyougof
reshenuptheyar
e
wai
ti
ngf
ory
oudownst
air
s"Ir
oll
edoutofbed
Me:"Thanky ou"Iwenttothebat
hroom and
tookaqui ckshoweraft
ershowerIwenttothe
bedroom andl ot
ionedmybodythengot
dressed.Iti
edmyweav eintoaneatbunand
walkeddownst ai
rs.
Great
!Justgr
eat
!Iswi
vel
l
edar
oundt
owal
k
away
Dad:
"Don'
tev
enthi
nkabouti
tpr
incess"Ihuf
fed
andwenttot
hem
Me:
"Gr
eet
ings"Theygr
eet
edback
Dad:
"Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
saspace"
Edward:"Thankyouman"Daddi sappearedI
l
ookedatt hismanwhodeni edme.Hebr eathed
outloudlyandcamet osatnexttome."Idon' t
knowwher etobeginbutIwil
lst
artbysay i
ng
I'
m sorrymychild.
"HisvoicewasshakingI
guesshewasner vous."
Yourmom andIwer ein
l
ov eshewasev erythi
ngIwantinawoman.We
wer esohappyunt ilIhadt orelocatet oCape
Townshedi dn' ttaket hatwel l buttherewas
not hingshecoul ddowepr omi sedt ost aytrue
toeachot herandcal leachot herev eryday.For
fi
rstf ewmont hswecal l
edeachot herev eryday
unt i
lonedayIcoul dn'treachherandt he
foll
owi ngdayi twast hesamet hi
ng.Wel ost
eachot herli
ket hataf ter6y ear sImov edback
i
nJozi wemetIcoul dn'tbeli
ev eitIwasso
happywepi ckedupwher ewel ef
tof fandshe
toldmewehav ea6y earol ddaught er.Itwas
noteasyt obel iev ethatImeanwewer eapar t
for6y ear s.Thi soneni ghtImett hiswoman
whoi smyl atewi fenowt r
ustmeInev ermeant
tohur ty ourmot herIl ov edhersomuchunt ilI
star t
edget ti
ngsi ck.Myl atewi fetookmet ot he
doct orandIf oundoutIhav eadanger ousdr ug
i
nmybodyandt hatwhenIf oundoutt hatI'
m
i
nf ertile.Theonl yper sonwhocookedf ormei t
wasy ourmot her .Itwasherpl ant oki l
l meand
takeev eryt
hingwel l
at l
eastIt houghtsobutt he
truthisi twasal l myl atewi fe'splan.Shepai d
thedoct ortol i
eaboutmyi nf ert
ili
tyandal sot he
drugi nmybody .Ican' tbel iev eIwasaf ool all
thistimePhuml awaspl ayi
ngme.I '
m sor r
ymy
childpl easef orgiveme"Hewasshaki ngand
tearsr unningdownhi sf ace" Pleasef orgiv
eme
givemeasecondchance.Al l
owmet orightmy
wr ongsandbet heref ory ouasaf ather
sweet ness"Hekneel eddownbef oremeand
bur i
edhi sheadonmyt highst hencr ied."I
'm
sor r
yI '
m sososor rypl easet ellmey ou
under standt ellmey ouf orgiveme.Iwantt o
l
ov ey oubabyIwantt opr otecty oual lowmet o
beaf athertoy ou.Somet hingIhav ebeen
yearningf ory ear s.Shepl ayedmepr incess, she
playedme"Myhear tbr oket earsrandownon
myf ace
Me:"
Iforgi
veyouf
ather
"Heli
ft
eduphishead
andlookedatmewitht
ear
sinhisey
es
Edwar
d:"
Whatdi
dyousay
"
Me:"
Idon'
twantt
oliet
oyouIloat
hedyoubut
nowIknowthetr
uthsoIf
orgi
veyou"
Edward:"
Ohthankyousomuchyouwon'
tregr
et
thi
sIswear"Hesqueezedmei
nhisar
msIf el
t
soprotect
edandsafe.
•
SQALOKUHLE
•
Somuchpai ninashor tspaceoft ime.I 'm busy
nursingmybr okenhear t
,thehear tthatwas
brokenbyaper sonInev erthoughtwi l
l.A
persont hatrockedmywor l
d,aper sont hatI
l
ov ewi t
hev eryinchofmybody ,Aper sonI
tr
ustedwi thmyhear tandmyl ife.Aper sonI
neverimagi neaf uturewithout,myf ir
stt hrough
everythi
ng, thefatherofmyf i
rstchildina
twinkli
ngofaney ehei sdead.
Iwon'
tl
ieandsayIdi
dn'
twishhim pai
ninhi
s
l
if
efortoy
ingwi
thmyheartbutdeathi
sthel
ast
thi
ngIeverwantedforhim.I
tsunbel
ievabl
ethat
heisdead.I
tshurtmor et
henitdi
dbeforeit
thatki
ndofpai
nt hatyoucanfeel
iti
nthebones.
Mymi ndkeeppl ayi
ngt hegoodt imeswespend
together,thedaywemet ,ourf
ir
stdate,ourf
ir
st
kissandourf i
rstl
ovemaki ngsessi
on,
ev er
ythingwassobl issful.Howwi l
lIfor
got
aboutt hespecialmoment sweshar edtoget
her?
Losinghi mt osomeonei sbett
erthenlosi
ng
himt odeat h.
"Sshhitsgoi
ngt obeokay
"thatwasmama
stroki
ngmybackasIwascr y
inghyster
ical
.
ThatwhatIhav ebeendoingforthe3passed
day sever
ydayfeel
sli
keI'
m heari
ngthenews
forthefir
stti
me.
Me:"
Itwi
llnev
erbeokayheisdead!Hei
snot
comingbackheisdead!
"Icr
iedi
nagony"
Mom: "
IknowbabyandI'm sor
rypl
easethi
nk
aboutthebaby.Youhav
etobest r
ongforyour
babysthandwasami"
Me:
"I
tst
oomuchMamaIcan'
ttakei
t"Igasped
f
orai
r
Mom:"Kuhlesweetheartlookatme"Shemade
melookather" Yourbabyneedy outobest r
ong
now.Pleasecalm downMaj obengiyakuncenga
pl
ease"Shewhi speredthelastpar
ttearsrol
led
downonherf ace
Me:
"Iwi
l
ltr
yMama"
Mom:"
Iknowy ouwil
lbaby
"Shekissedmytear
s
away"
Nowl et
'sgobathaf
tert
hatyouwil
leatI
madeyoufood"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Mom: "
Youarenotli
vingforyourselfonl
yalso
fort
hesoul i
nsi
deofy outhi
nkabouthi mtoo"I
nodded.Tomorrowisthefuneraltodayweare
l
eavingforKZN.Thatwherehewi llbelai
dto
rest
.
Me:"
HaveanyonecheckonIssyIdon'
tthi
nki
ts
goodforhert
olockher
sel
finthehouseMama"
Mom: "
Met ooyourfatheri
sgoingt
obreakt he
housetoday.I
mj ustgladt
hathert
her
apistsaid
theyar
etalki
ngev er
ydayonthephonewhi ch
meansshei ssti
l
l al
iv
e"
Me:"Shedoesn'
thav
etobeal
onei
nher
condit
ion"
Mom: "
Hertherapistsay
ssheisnotusedt o
hav esomeonewhocancomf or
ther.Sheis
usedt odealwithpainaloneshehadt obe
strongforThando.Theonl yper
sonshewas
starti
ngtofeelfreearoundisPhakamanibuthe
hurthimtot hecor esonowshet rustnoone
withherpain"
Me:
"Ohmani
t'
ssosadMama"
Mom: "Yeah.
..come"Shegotupandhel pedme
up.Wewentt hebathroom wher esheprepared
abubbl ebathforme.Sheof f
erednoscr atch
thatshedemandedt obathme.Af terthe
hygieneprocessshel oti
onedmet henIsli
pped
i
ntoar obeandsl eepers."Shoul
dIf et
chy our
f
oodory
ouwi
l
lcomedownst
air
s?"
Me:"
Iwi
l
l.
."Thedoorbur
stopendadwal
kedi
n
l
ooki
ngfl
ushed
Mom:
"Wakhe?
"
Dad:
"Shei
snott
her
e"
Mom:"Whatdoy
oumeanMawakhel
omuzi
?"
shesai
dwithat
remul
ousv
oice
Dad:
"Wedi dn'tf
indherZesul
iwesheisnot
t
here.Icall
edhertherapi
stshesaidthel
ast
t
heysky peditwasthismorning.Nowherphone
i
soff"
Mom:"NononoMawakhel
omuzit
hisisnot
goodyouneedt
ofi
ndherpl
easeI
'm beggi
ng
youfi
ndmydaught
er"Shehel
ddad'
sblazer
andcri
ed
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Questi
oningGodaboutev ery
thi
ngthathappens
i
ny ourl
ifeisnousecozi t
snotli
keyouget
answers.IacceptedCassi
esheisjustachil
d
aft
erallshecan'tbepuni
shedforherpar
ents
evi
ldeeds.
Ican'tbel
ieveMv el
odidthi
stome.Theymade
met heirfoolagnx!WhatIt ol
dmy sel
fisIwil
l
takecareoft heirdaught
erli
kesheismi neand
giveherthelov eshedeserveandI'
m gladmy
fi
ancéi ssuppor t
ingmeI'm sobl
essedt ohave
himinmyl i
feshame.
IwashappywhenIf oundoutCassi ewasn't
sexual l
yviolatedIhadt otakehert othedoctor
forthebr uisesonherf ace.Ilookedatallof
them andki ssedthem onebyone.Ij ustput
them t osleep.Theyar eusingonebedr oom.
Thei nteri
ordesi gneri
scomi ngtomor rowfor
Cassi e'
sbedr oom.
Theboysshar
e.It
urnedtheli
ghtoffandwent
downst
air
sIwascravingfory
ogurtIwasal
one
byt
hewayIgaveKetsaneadayandni
ghtof
f.
I
nawenthometosupporthi
ssi
ster
sduri
ngthe
l
ossoft
hethei
rbabydaddy.
Issyisnotcopy ingatal
lshel ockedherselfin
thebedr oom itshasbeen3day snowandI nais
l
osinghi smi nd.Youknowt hereuset obeday s
whenI nawi llbedownandsadf ornoreason
andwewi l
lwonderwhatdoesi tmeanbutnow
weknowwhenI ssyi
sgoingt hroughsomet hi
ng
hef eel
si tt
oo.IheardfootstepasIappr oached
thekitchen
Me:"Babeisthatyou"Heistheonlyonewho
haveanaccesst othehouse.Isni
ffedafamili
ar
scentinthekit
chenmyhear tski
ppedabeat" I
s
anybodyhere?"Ifel
tsomeonesuf f
ocat
ingme
withdampcl ot
hIwi ggl
edmy sel
fandturned
around"Youbitchwhatareyoudoinghere!"
Thabsi
l
e:"
Mysonl
i
veher
ebi
tch!
"Shet
ookouta
bi
gknif
e
Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantThabi
e"Isai
dwi
tha
shakyv
oice
Thabsi l
e:"
Idon'
twanttodothi
sbutyouare
standingonmywayKonke.Nkosyi sminenot
yours!"ShewalkedtowardsmeIst
eppedback
until
Iwasbl ockedbythewall
Me:"
Youhadyourchanceandbl
ewitThabi
e"I
sai
dwit
hbrav
erybutIwasscaredashel
l
Thabsil
e:"
Iwasn'
treadyf orhi
m nowIam wit
h
youonmywayIcan' thavehim Ihavetot
ake
careofyoufi
rst!
"Shebr ushedtheknif
eonmy
faceIswearIal
mostpi ssedmy sel
f
Me:"Youdon'
thav
etoki
l
lme.Howdi
dyouget
accessint
hehouse"
Thabsi
l
e:"
IfIwereyouthatwasgonnabel
east
ofmyworries.Sayyourl
astpr
ayer
"
Me:"Pl
easeI'
m beggingyouIwi
l
lleav
eInaf
or
you"Icr
iedshelaughed
Thabsi
le:
"Youthi
nkI'
m st
upi
dhuh!!
"Ishookmy
headtear
sf al
l
ingonmyface"Don'
tworr
yIwil
l
takecareofourmanorshoul dIsaymyman.
Asf oryoursonIwi l
lsendhimt ohi
s
grandparentsasif
unev ezandl
ebe
eli
zosiphazamisanjengomndeni"(wedon'
t
wantabast ardthatisgoingtodist
urbusasa
family)Shelaughed.
Isawanoppor tunit
yandusedi twef oughtover
aknifeshei stoost r
ongIwaslosi ngshegoton
topofmeandr ai
sedherhandt ost abmeon
mychestIhel dherhandshet i
ght enedhergr i
pI
pushedherbackwi thall
myst rengthmyphone
rangont hecount ershewasstar t
ledabi t
givi
ngmeachancet osnatchedt hekni f
ef rom
herandst abbedherov erandov erbl oodoozes
outofhershecol l
apsedonme.Ipushedher
downandgotupmykneeswer ewobbl i
ngIwas
sweating.Ilookedatherandmyhandst hat
wereshaki ng
Me:"No!
"Idroppedtheknif
eandf al
lonthef
loor
nexttoherandslappedhercheek"Thabi
ewake
pl
ease!I'
m sorr
yy oucan'
tdothistomewake
pl
ease"Icr
iedhol
dingherli
fel
essbodyi
nmy
ar
msohnoowhathav eIdone.

[
06/
01,
14:
41]W:
61
VI
NCENT
•
"Whatdotheymeandoctor?"Iknewwhatdo
theymeanbutIfeltl
i
kethedoctorwi l
ltel
lme
somethi
ngdiffer
entfr
om whatI'mreading.He
tookt
heresultandputonhi
sgl asses.
Doc:"
Youarehi
sfatherMrZwane"Hi
sv oi
ce
echoedinmyearsIfel
tli
ket
heroom i
s
spi
nning."
Arey
ouokayMrZwane"
Me:"
Ye..
yesuhm t
hanky
ou"Ist
oodupf
eel
i
nga
l
it
tl
ebitdi
zzy
Doc:
"Youcangoseehi
m hei
sawake"Ismi
l
ed
f
aint
ly
Me: "
Iwi l
lcomebackl ater
"Iwal kedout .Iwent
strai
ghtt omycarandbur i
edmyheadont he
steeringwheel.Thisi sthewor stnightmareev er.
Ihav ebeenher efor3day sandIhat etoli
et o
mywi feIcoul
dn'tleav ewithoutfindingallthe
answer s.TheDNAt estconf i
rmedt hatI
'm his
fatherandIhav en'ttalktotheboyIcan' tev en
l
ookathi mI'm soashamedofmy self.HowdoI
l
ookathi mintheey esknowi ngthepai nI
causedhi sMama.It ookmyphoneandcal led
Mzeet
Mzeet
:"
BossV"
Me:"BossVmyf oot!Iaskedy
outodoa
backgroundcheckonNokukhany
awhatdi
dyou
do??"
Mzeet
:"
Idi
dBoss.
."
Me:"Shehav
easony
oubast
ardhowcany
ou
notknowthat!
!"
Mzeet:
"I
'm sorr
yBossVmyguymusthav
e
missedthat!
"
Me:"
Ny oryy
ousayny
orywi
llt
hatsl
ove
any
thing.Myli
fei
soverMz
eet!Mywif
eisgoi
ng
tol
eaveme! "
Mzeet
:"
Doest
heboyknow?
"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowIhav
en'
ttal
ktohi
m butIt
hink
heknows!
"
Mzeet:
"I'
m sorr
yBossV.Oneguyi
sst
il
ll
ocked
uptheotheroneisout
"
Me:
"Coul
ditbepossi
blet
hatt
hisboyi
swor
king
wi
thhim?"
Mzeet
:"
Idon'
tknow.
..
"
Me:
"FuckoffMzeetI
'm notpayi
ngy
out
otel
l
methatshi
tfoundouttoday!
"
Mzeet:"
YesBossV"Ihungupot herpartofme
wantedtogoinsideandfoundoutwhatdoes
theboyknowbutot herpar
tofmewasscar ed.I
star
tedthecaranddrovetothebarIneededto
getsl
oshed.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
OhmyGodwhathaveIdonemywholebody
wast
rembl
i
ngtear
scloudi
ngmyvi
sion
Me:"WakeupThabie!
"Sheisdeadohno!Isat
downont hefl
oornotknowingwhatt odonext.
Allt
hatwasroaminginmymi ndisthatIt
ook
someone'sli
fe,I
'
m amur derer,
Ikil
l
edmy
fi
ancé'
sbabyMama.
"
Konke!
"Ij
umpedupi
nfr
ight
Me:"
Whatareyoudoingher
eJohnathanhow
di
dyouevengetinsi
dethehouse"
Johnat
han:
"OhmyGodyou.
.whathaveyou
done"Hewentt
ocheckonThabi
e'spul
se"Oh
shi
t!
"
Me:
"Howdi
dyougeti
nthehouse!Ar
eyout
wo
worki
ngt
ogether
!!?"Igrabbedthekni
feand
st
oodupthenpointeditonhim
Johnathan:
"Cal
m downKonkeIwasaroundI
sawsomedodgycarout si
deyourgat
eItri
edto
call
youbuty oudi
dn'
tanswer
.Thecarranoff
themomentIgotcloser
.Thegateandthefr
ont
doorisopen"
Me:"
Youarelyi
ngJohnat
han!"Iwal
kedcl
oseto
hi
m hesteppedbackwar
dsraisi
nghi
shandin
sur
render
Johnat
han:
"Calm downKonkeIswearwhy
wouldIl
iet
oy ou.Giv
emet hekni
fe"
Me:
"Whyshoul
dIt
rusty
ouJohnat
hanhuh"I
wi
pedmytearswi
thmyonehand
Johnathan:
"Il
oveyouKonkewhywoul dIwant
tohurtyou.Youneedtocalm downbefor
eyou
dosomet hi
ngy ouwi
ll
regret
."
Icr
ied
"
Cal
m downokayIwon'
thur
tyou.Gi
vemet
he
kni
fe"
Me:
"No"Ishookmyheadv
igor
ousl
ytear
s
r
oll
i
ngdownmycheeks
Johnathan:
"YouneedtotrustmeKonke.Gi ve
met heknif
e"Ilookedint
ohisey esandgave
himtheknifehetookitandplaceditdownthen
hepull
edmet ohi
sarmsIbur stint
oal oudsob
"Shhh"
Me:"
Ididn'
tmeantoki
l
lherJohnat
hanshe
at
tackedme"Icr
iedl
oudermykneesfai
l
edme
webothwentdownont hef
loor
Johnathan:
"Don'
tcr
yit
sokay
..
it
sokay
..
Iknow"
Hestrokedmyback
Me:"
Ican'
tgot
ojai
lIwi
l
lnev
ersur
viv
ether
emy
ki
dsneedme!"
Johnathan:
"Youwon'tmyloveyouwon'
tgot
o
j
ail
..
.shhhh.
..
shhh..
..
shhh"hi
svoicei
nmyear
wasl i
kealull
aby.
THENEXTMORNI
NG
Iwokeupmyey eswereheavyIwassleepi
ngin
mybedroom.IwonderedhowdidIgethereI
wasevenweari
ngmypj s.Ij
umpedupi nshock
astheevent
soflastni
ghtpl
ayedi
nmymi nd.
"GoodMorni
ngsunshine"Sai
dJohnat han
carr
yingat
ray."Imadeyoubreakfast
"Hewas
topl
essexposinghischocol
ateyummybody
Me:
"Johnat
han"
Johnat
han:
"Thatmynamebaby"Hepl
acedt
he
tr
ayonmylapsandsatnextt
ome
Me:"
Wher
e'smyphoneIneedt
oinf
ormt
he
pol
i
ce"
Johnat
han:
"Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hatIt
ookcar
eof
i
t"
Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeany
out
ookcar
eofi
t"
Johnathan:
"Letj
ustsayIgaveheradigni
fi
ed
funer
aleventhoughshedidn'
tdeser
veit"Ohno
Me:
"NoJonat
hanwhywoul
dyoudot
hat
!"
Johnathan:
"Yourbr
eakfastwi
l
lbecol dmyl ove
eat"OhcrapwhathaveIgotmy sel
finto.Konke
youaresost upi
darg!
!!
!
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Ihav ebeenhav ingadr eam aboutPhakamani
cry
ingf ormyhel p.Idon'tknowmay beI '
m
i
nterpretingthedream wr ongbutIt hinkit
s
meansPKi soutthereandheneedmyhel p.He
can'tbedeadImeanwhycan' tIfeelhisdeath.
My selfandHi m areonef l
eshwebr eaththe
sameai rIshouldfeelhisdeathormay beI'min
denial.Ihavebeenher ewher etheacci dent
happenedf orhoursnowI mt r
y i
ngt ofind
answer s.Howcanonebur nti
ntoashesand
fi
ndnohel p.
Me:
"Babyifyoureal
l
ydiedshowmet hesignI
meanthi
siswher eyoul
ostyoursoulshowme
t
hesignsthandwasami"Il
ookedaroundhopi
ng
Iwil
lseesomet hi
ngbutdolol
o."Phakamani!
"I
wentdownonmykneesandcr i
edinanguish.
Hecan'tbedead,hecantleaveme.Ifel
tarms
engulf
ingmeasaf ami
l
iarscentfi
ll
edmy
nostr
il
s.Hepickedmeupandwal kedwit
hme
tohiscar.
Dad:"
Inayouwi
lldri
veMj '
scar,
Mj comewi t
hus
"Heputmeont hebackseatandgoti nt
hen
pull
edmet ohi
slap."Don'
tcrymyl i
tt
leangel
"
HestrokedmybackIcr i
edhardwettinghi
s
neckasmyheadwasbur i
edinhisneck.
Me:
"Hei
snotdeaddaddyhecan'
tbedead"
Dad:"I
'
m sorr
yI'
mr eal
l
ysor r
y"Thecarst
art
ed
mov i
ng.Iwascryi
ngallthewaytohome.Upon
ar
ri
v aldadpi
ckedmeupandwal kedwit
hme
i
nsidethehouse.HeplacedmenexttoMama.
Thandor
ant
omeandgav
emeasuf
focat
ing
hug
Thando:
"Iwassowor
ri
edabouty
ousi
s"
Me:"
I'
m sor
ryIdidn'
tmeant
owor
ryy
oupl
ease
f
orgi
vemesi s"
Thando:
"I
tsokayI
'
m glady
ouar esaf
e"We
pul
ledbackshewipedmytear
s.
Mom: "Nev erdothatagainpleaseI ssy.Wear e
hereforyouandwenotgonnal eav eyouplease
l
earnt otrustus.Sharey ourpainwi thuslocki
ng
yourselfwilldoyounogood"Inoddedshe
pull
edmet oherbreastandwr appedherar ms
aroundme.Icoul dn'
thelpbutcr ysohar dmy
heartwasbl eedi
ng.Ididn'
twannabel i
evethat
mychocol atecakeisgone.
"Ki
tKat"ThatwasLamiIpull
edbackandlooked
athim Si
hlegavemehim.Hiseyeswer er
edI
couldtel
l t
hathewascryi
ng"Ki
tKatandDaddy
l
eftLami "hi
seyesgl
ist
enedwit
ht ear
s
Me:"
I'
m sorr
ymyboyIwillneverleavey
ou
agai
n"Iwipedhi
stear
sthatfallaft
erabli
nk
Lami
:
"Wher
e'sdaddy
"OhGod
Me:
"Uhm hei
sst
il
li
ntown"
Lami
:
"Iwanthi
m Mama"
Me:
"Hewi
l
lcomeback"
Lami:"
NoKitKatt
akemet
odaddypl
ease"He
star
tedcr
ying.
Me:"
Mamawhatam Isupposet
odonow?
"I
cr
ied
Mom:
"Lami
daddyi
scomi
ngokay
"
Lami
:
"Mh.
MhIwantDaddy
"hecr
ied
I
na:
"Lami
"
Lami
:
"Lume"
I
na:
"Comeher
e"
Lami
:
"Youwi
l
ltakemet
odaddy
?"
I
na:
"Uhy
es"Het
ookhi
m andt
heydi
sappear
ed
Me:"Ihadadream MamaaboutPKhewas
beggingmetohelphi
mt hi
smeanshei snot
deadpleasehelpmefi
ndhim pl
ease"
Mom:"
Issymt
anami
Phakamani
isdeadandI
'
m
sor
ry"
Me:"NoMamahei snothelpmef indhim"It
ook
herhandsandkissedthem "I'
m beggingyou
MaSithol
e.Youareapr ophetI'
m sureyoucan
hel
pme. "
Shesi
ghedheav
il
y
Mom:"Youneedt
oacceptbabygi
rlandbe
st
rongfort
hebabyy
ouar ecar
ryi
ng"
Me:"Whyyoudon'twantt
ohelpmeisi t
becauseIsai
dyouarereckl
ess?I
'm sorr
y
MamaIdi dn'
tmeanthosehurt
ful
wor ds
ngiy
axoli
sa"(
I'
m sorr
y)
Mom: "
sthandwasamithatwaterunderthe
br
idge.Ineedyoutobestrongnowpl ease"
Me:"
Iwantmychocol
atecakeMamaplease"I
cr
iedinagony
.Dadcamewithagl
assofwater
Dad:
"Her
edr i
nkthi
s"It
ookthegl
assanddr
ank
t
hewatertheytast
edfunny
.
Thando:
"CanImakesomet
hingt
oeatsi
s"
Me:"
NoI
'
mful
l
"Isl
urr
edt
henextmi
nut
eIwas
out
.
Iwaski cki
ngstonesIhear dhim scr
eamingmy
nameIt ur
nedandl ookedathi
m myheart
skippedabi tIrantohim ashedidthesame.
Hecat chedmeandspanar oundwi t
hme
"Chocolatecake!"
PK:
"Ki
tKat
!"
Me:"
Itol
dthem y
ouar
enotdeadbutt
heydon'
t
wanttobel
iev
eme"
PK:
"I
'm notdeadI
m al
way
swi
thy
ou"
Me:"Imissedy ousomuch"Ir ubbedmynoseon
hi
sweki ssedpassi onatel
ythenheputme
down" I
'm sorrybutIwanty ounow.Takeme
backPKImi ssyousomuch.It ri
edtol
iv
e
wit
houty ouitwassuf focat
ingtakemeback
baby.Ineedy ouoursonneedy ouandour
pri
ncess"Itookhishandandpl acedi
tonmy
t
ummy
PK:
"whatdoest
hatmean"
Me:"
Iwascarr
yingt
ri
plet
sshesur
viv
edshewas
hi
ddenbehi
ndthetwins"
PK:"
OhThatssoamazingbaby
"Hesmi
l
edwi
th
tear
sinhi
seyes"Ourbaby
"
"
Issy
!Issy
!"someonewasshaki
ngme.Iopened
myeyes
Me:
"PK"
Mom:"
Wehavear
ri
vedbaby"
Ilookedar
ound
wewerei
nacar
Me:
"Ar
ri
vedwher
e"
Mom:"I
ny ourgr
andpar
ent
shousei
nKZN
Newcastl
ecome"
Me:
"Howl
onghav
eIbeensl
eepi
ngkant
i?"
Mom: "
6hours"Wegotoutoft hecar
grandmotherandgrandpacametous.Hugs
andkisseswereshared.
Gr
andmother
:"
Come"Weheadedt
othehouse.
Weallwenti
nside.
THEFOLLOWI
NGDAY,
FUNERALDAY.
Mom washol dingmeandKuhl eonherhands
whileLami waswi t
hThando.Mybaby '
sservice
wasv erydignifi
ed.Peopl eshar edt hei
rv i
ews
abouthi m.Hemadesur et hathet ouchedeach
anev erysoul hemet .Peopl eshar edbeaut i
ful
wordsabouthi m Icouldn' thelpbutcr y.It
'sonly
thenitssanki nthatt hemant hatoccupyal lthe
spaceinmyhear t
,themant hatt aughtmehow
toloveandt rustagai n,themant hatmademea
specialwomani nthiswor ld,themant hatgav e
mehomeandf il
l
edi twithwar mth,themant hat
gavemenot hingbutbl issf ullove,themant hat
gavemel i
feandeducat ion, themant hatown
mysoul ,myhear t
,mybody ,
thef atherofmy
chil
drenisgone.Howwi llIli
v ewithouthim.
WhyGod?Whydi dy out akehi m.Myhear ti
s
beyondshat teredmyoneandonl ychocol ate
cakeisgoneIwant edtodi ewi thhim Igasped
forairIcoul
dhearMamatel
l
ingmetobr
eat
h
butshesoundedsofart
henextmi
nutei
twas
blank.
•
NARRATED
•
5DAYSLATER
Theal ar
m wentof fat4am Zesul iwel eaned
overandswi tchedi toff
.Shewasal readyawake
star
ingatherhusbandwhowasi ntodeep
sl
umberhi sl i
psslightl
yparted.Shenev erget
usetoherhusband' shandsomenesst heyhav e
beent ogetherf or27y earsbuthei sst i
ll t
he
handsomemanherey eshav eev erl
aidon.Lor d
knowshowmuchdoesshel ov ethisgor geous
mannextt oherandshei sforevergrat efult
o
Godf ortrust i
ngherenought oblessherwi t
h
suchai ncr edibl
elov i
nghusbandl i
ke
Mawakhel omuzi .Hermi ndtookherbackt he
fi
rstti
met heymet .
Shewokeupf eeli
ngmel anchol y.I
twast henext
mor ni
ng9am sheov ersl
ept.Itwasal readylate
toprepar
eforschool shesi ghedheav il
yand
madet hebed.Shewentt ot hebat hroom and
washedherf aceandhermout hbef oregoing
outtohanghercl othesint hehangi ngl i
ne.Her
eyesmetat oplessguy ,hi
ssweat pantsal most
droppi
ngexposi nghisCal vinKleinunder weari
n
thekit
chenmaki ngbr eakfastandt alkingonthe
l
oudspeakerphone.Hi sbackwasf acingherso
hecouldn'
tseeher
Hi
m:"
Ncwanes"
"Ncwanesukunukay
ouwantmet ohaveaheart
att
ackye!
!"shout
edthev
oiceofafemal
efrom
theot
herside
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryMama"
"
Hai
sukauy
atha.
..
uhhu"r
epl
i
edt
hev
oice
Hi
m:"
Ma?
"
"
GodNi
phoOoh"
Hi
m:"
Geeemom r
eal
l
y!"
"By
esonwearegladyouareal
iv
ethatwhatwe
wantedt
ohear
"respondedavoi
ceofaman
now
Hi
m:"
Ain'
tyouguy
sol
dthoughf
orhav
ingsex"
"
Bye"Thecal
ldr
opped
Zesuli
we:"
Mh.Mh"sheclear
edherthr
oat,he
turnedandst
udiedherfr
om thet
oesupt oher
face.Hismout
hwi deopenthanawhisper
foll
owed"Wow"
Shejuststoodt hereinshockshecoul dn't
beli
eveit.Shehadt opinchherselfseveral
ti
mesunt ilI
tregisteredtoherthatshewasn' t
dreaming."Ohhmygoodness! !"Shescr eamed
excit
edlydroppingt hebasketont hefloorand
rantohim.Hecat chedhersurprisingl
yshe
knewt hatwasuncal l
edforbutshecoul dn't
helpherself
.TheeMawakhel omuzi was
standi
ngi nfr
ontofher ."
OhmyJesusIcan' t
beli
eveitsyou.Ilov eyoursongs!Im ahugef an
Iknowbot
hofy
oural
bumsy
ouar
etr
uly
tal
ent
edwowww!"
Mawakhe:
"Wowuhm t
hanky
ou"
"AyAyAyukunkonkoshel
aindodayami
kangakaZesul
i
we"SaidLuyandaasshewal
ked
i
n
Mawakheputherdown
Zesul
iwe:"I'
m sor
ry"Shewasembar r
assedbut
doyoubl amehert heguywaseverygirl
'
scrush.
Hegotav oi
ceandhi slooksmakethings
worse.Eachanev erysongshefel
tli
kehewas
tal
ki
ngt oher
Luy
anda:
"Heybabe"Theyki
ssed
Mawakhe:
"It
houghtofsur
pri
singy
ouwi
tha
br
eakf
asti
nbed"
Luy
anda:
"Youar
esosweet
"Sheki
ssedhi
m
Mawakhe:
"Butwecanhav
ebreakf
astsonke
si
nceyouareawakewi
th.
..
"hel
ookedat
Zesul
i
we
Zesul
i
we:
"Zesul
i
we"
Mawakhe:
"wi
thZesul
i
we"hesmi
l
ed
Luyanda:
"Nobabeletsgotomybedroom and
haveabreakf
asttogetherI
'
m sur
eZesul
iwe
doesn'
tmind"
Zesul
i
we:
"NoIdon'
t"
Mawakhe:"Okayfi
nebyme"Hetookthetray
andtheywalkedaway ,
Mawakhetur
nedhis
headandwi nkedatZesul
i
webit
inghi
slowerli
p
shecouldn'
thelpbutbl
ush.
Thathowt heymeti twasnev erasmoot h
sail
ingtheirroadwasbumpy ,t
heirlovesur viv
ed
storms,ear t
hquakesandcy cl
ones.I fshehav e
togot hrought hatagainshewoul dn'tmi ndcoz
i
tmadet heirlovestrongerthenitwasbef ore.
Todayshei sapr oudhappilymar r
iedwoman
withsixchildren.Ohhowshewi sht hismi ght
notbet heendoft heirwondrousper fect26
years.
3DAYSEALI
ER
"GogoIcan'tdieandleavemyhusbandand
chil
drenbehind.Theyneedme"cr i
edZesul i
we
asshewasont hephonewi thGogoMsi bithe
power f
ulsangomawhot rainedhertobet he
prophet.Sheisveryol
dandf rai
lnowshecan' t
evenhearandseepr operlysoshestopped
pract
isingandenjoyherlastdaysinearth.
GogoMsi bi
:"Youneedtobeli
eveinGodand
yourancestorsZesul
i
we.Theywon'tgi
veyoua
j
obt heyknowy ouwil
lfai
ltodo.Havef
ait
hmy
chi
ld"
Zesul
iwe:
"Thatwit
chdoct
orisdangerousGogo
Idon'
twanttodienoty
etplease"shesobbed
GogoMsibi
:"
Heishumanmychi
ldhei
snotGod.
Hedoesn'
tdeser
vethef
eary
ouhavef
orhi
m."
Zesul
iwe:"
Wellexcusemef orbei
ngscar
edI
haveneverhadtofacesuchadangerousevil
in
mylif
e.There'
snoot herwaywecandot hi
s
Gogoorcomeandhel pmeIcan'tgothr
ough
t
hisal
oneIneedy
oubymysi
de"Shewi
pedher
t
ears
GogoMsi bi:"
Youar ethechosenoneZesul iwe
tobeatthisevil.Havefai
thinyourpower s,
bel
ieveiny ourself
.Theonlypersonthatwill
defeatthedev i
l i
syoumychi l
d.Godandy our
ancestorsareal wayswit
hy outheywill
nev er
for
sakey ouokay "
Zesul
i
we:
"Okay
"shesni
ff
ed
GogoMsi
bi:
"Youar
est
rongandy
ouwi
l
ldot
his"
Zesul
i
we:
"EhGogo"
GogoMsibi:
"Nowt
hat
'smygi
rl
.Focusandbe
at
tent
ive"
Zesul
i
we:
"Iheary
ouGogo"
GogoMsibi
:
"Kul
ungi
lest
handwasami
"
(goodby
emylove)
Zesuliwe:
"ByeGogo"TheyhungupZesul i
we
breathedoutloudly
.It
scl
earthatther
ewasno
otherwayshei stheonet
hathav etofacethe
devil
.Shethrewherphoneont hebedand
start
edundressingthenshewentt ot he
bathroom wheresher anabat hforherself.She
pouredsoothingsaltsandoi lsi
ntothewat er
andjumpedi nsi
de.Thet houghtofleavi
ngher
husbandandchi ldr
enbehi ndkill
edhersoul
countlesst
imes.Shecr i
edunt i
lshefallasleep.
Herhusbandwal kedi nandf oundherasl eep.
Wakhe:
"Baby
"heshookherl
i
ght
ly
Zesul
i
we:
"Mmh"herey
eswer
est
il
lcl
osed
Wakhe:
"Thewat
eri
scol
dnowy
ouwi
l
lcat
ch
col
d"
Sheopenedherey
esandr
ubbedt
hem
"Come"Hehel pedherupanddriedherthenhe
pickedherupheadingtothei
rbedroom.He
madeherl i
eonthebedwi t
hherst omachand
satonherbut t
.Herubbedoilonhishandsand
massagedherback" Youaresot enseyour
bodyi sl
ikeaconcr
eteyouneedt ostop
stressi
ng.YouknowGodandancest or
sbeli
eve
i
nyour
ight
"
Zesuli
we:"Ohhyeees"shemoaned.Her
husband'shandswer edoi
ngmagicinherbody
shefeltsorel
axedshel ov
ehowheknowsher
body."That'
sfeel
ssogoooodohh"Hermoans
madel i
ttl
eJobetwitchinatt
ent
ion
Wakhe:"I
tsgoi
ngtobeokayall
oft hi
swill
be
overmyl ov
eyouwil
lsee"Hekissedherbutt
andleanedovert
owhisperi
nherear" Howare
youfeeli
ngnow"
Zesul
iwe:
"Li
ketheworldhav
ebeenremov
ed
overmyshoulder
sthankyousomuch"
Wakhe:
"I
m glad"Hebit
eherearmaki
nghert
o
gi
ggl
esoftl
y."Il
oveyouLi
wewami "
Zesul
i
we:
"Lov
eyoumor
eWakhewami
"
Wakhegotupf rom herandstartedundressi
ng
asZesuli
wesli
ppedintocovers.Hef i
nished
andsli
ppednexttoherpressi
nghi swar m
nakedbodyagai
nsther.Shepulledhim close
andkissedhi
m passi
onatel
ypouri
ngherhear
t
i
ntothekisst
hatlef
thim br
eat
hless
Wakhe:
"Wowai
n'
tIl
ucky
"
Zesuliwe:"Itstheot herwayar ound"shebi tehis
l
owerl ipt henl ookedathi m deepl yinhisey es.
Shehav en'tbeenhonestwi t
hherhusbandand
shet houghti twi ll
beunf airifshedoesn' tlet
him knowsot hathewi ll
preparehi msel f
."Uhm
Ilovey ouJobewi thallmyhear t.Thanky ouso
muchf orbei ngt hebesthusbandIcoul dev er
askf or.
"Sheswal lowedspi tpreventingtears
from comi ngout" Thando' smom wast akenby
yourf r
iendMngomezul uandgav ehert oa
wi t
chdoct or.Theycl eanedhermemor yshei s
theser vantoft hatwi t
chdoct or"
Wakhe:
"Yhohowcoul
dMngomezul
udot
hat
?
Why?"
Zesul
i
we:"Theplanwastotakeherawayfr
om
EdwardsothatPhumlacanmarryEdward"
Wakhe:
"That
'si
nsaneandcr
uel
thatbast
ard!So
al
lthi
stimeI
ssyandThandohav
ebeen
st
ruggl
ingwhi
let
hatwomaniskeptt
her
e!"
Zesuliwe:"
Yes.Yourfri
endiscruelbabyheis
theonet hattr
iedtokil
lIssy
.Heknewal lal
ong
togetherwithNomal angathatPhakamani was
cheatingonKuhl esohecomeupwi thaplanto
kil
lthesidechickwhichhappenedt obeour
Issy.
"
Wakhe:"Whatkindofhumanbeingisthat
!!Now
Igetwhyyounev erwantedmetobefr
iendhim.
I'
m sor
ryfornotli
steni
ngtoyouMommyQueen.
I'
m goi
ngtokill
thatbastar
d!"
Zesul
iwe:
"Hedi
dn'
tknowI
ssyi
sourdaught
er
baby"
Wakhe: "
OkayIhearthatbutheli
edtomeinmy
face.Iaskedhi
m howdoesheknow
Makhosazanahesai dshewasEdwar d'
sexthat
howheknowherhef ucki
ngli
etome!Hemade
mehi sfool!Mychi
ldcouldhavehadabett
er
l
ifehadhenott ookMakhosazana!Doyousee
howbr okenIssyi
sLiwe?Shesuf f
eredal otata
veryyoungageandI'm af
rai
dit'
sgoingt otake
alotoftimeforhert
orecoverfrom all
thepain
shewentt hr
oughinherli
feespecial
lynowt hat
Phakamani i
sdead!"
Zesul
i
we:"Idon'
twantyoutotakepeopl
e'
sli
ves
Wakheyouar enotGodletKar
madeal wi
th
peopl
eplease."
Wakhe:
"Ihavenev
ertakepeople'
sliv
esIj ust
t
eachthem oneortwolessonsthatall
."
Zesul
i
we:
"Idon'
twantt
hatei
ther"
Wakhe:
"Soy ouwantmetojustfoldmyarms
andwatchothermenwalki
ngal l
ov ermyhead
doi
ngast heypleasewi
thmyf amily?"
Zesul
i
we:
"Nobaby
..
."
Wakhe:
"Ut
hinikant
i??
"(whatareyousay
ing)Hi
s
voi
cewasfil
ledwit
hirri
tat
ion.Zesul
i
wesighed
Zesul
i
we:
"Idon'
twantustofi
ghtst
handwa
samiwemustspendthesef
ewdayshappycoz
t
heymi
ghtbet
hel
astday
syouspendwi
thme"
Wakhel
ookedathi
swi
fe
Wakhe:
"Whatdoy
oumeannow"
Zesul
iwe:"
Thewitchdoct
ordoesn'
twanttolet
Makhosazanago.ThereasonwhyIhavebeen
bl
eeding.Hei
sfighti
ngImightnotmakeout
al
ive"Wakhekeptquiett
hinki
ngaboutwhathis
wif
esaid
Wakhe:
"Stopthi
sthen.Ican'
tl
oseyouLiwelet
's
f
indanotherwaytorescueMakhosazana"
Zesul
i
we:
"I
tsdoesn'
twor
kli
ket
hatWakhe"
Wakhe:
"Noy
ouar
enotdy
ingonmeZesul
i
we!
"
Zesul
i
we:
"Baby
..
."
Wakhe:"NoZesuliwe!Youarenotdy i
ng!What
am Isupposetodowi thoutyouhuh!What
aboutourchil
dren?Issywejustfoundhershe
needyou!Stopthisnonsenserightnow!"
Zesul
i
wegasped
Zesul
i
we:
"Youar
ecal
l
ingmygi
ftnonsense?"
Wakhe:"
Ithoughtt
hisgi
ftwassupposetobr
ing
happi
nessinpeople'
sli
vesandal
soours"
Zesul
i
we:
"That
str
ue"
Wakhe:"
Thenwhatisal
lthi
shuh?Whydoy ou
havetori
skyourl
i
feli
kethi
s.Don'
tthi
sgif
t
thi
nkaboutt
hepeopleyoulov
e?Don'twe
matter
?"
Zesul
i
we: "
Ofcourseyouall
mat t
erst
handwa
samiIknowitsscarybutpl
easetryt
o
under
standIneedyoursupport"
Wakhel
aughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughedt
ear
srunni
ng
downhi
sface
Wakhe: "Youwantmet osupportyout haty
ou
ar
el eav i
ngmeLi we,thatyouaregoingt odie
onme.Howam Isupposet oli
vewi t
houtmy
ot
herhal f
.Howwi l
lIraiseourchi
ldrenalone.
How. .
.how. .
how"Hepausedt earsfalli
ngli
kea
waterf al
lonhisface.Hesatupst raightgi
ving
Li
wehi
sback.
Zesul
iwe:"
Baby"Sheroll
edoutofbedandwent
toherhusband'
sside.Shesatontopofhim
str
addli
nghim.Hismembert humbingagainst
hernun."Lookatme"shecuppedhi sf
ace
makinghertolookathim"Iwon'
tdieony ou..
."
Wakhe:"Youarenotsureaboutt hat
.Issysai
d
thatsangomadi ed.Pl
easetell
mey oucanst op
thi
safteral
lthatwomanst oleourchildwhyyou
havetoloseyourl i
fef
orher"
Zesuli
we:
"Iwi
shitdi
dn'
thavetobeli
kethi
s
babybutI'
mtheonewhohav etodothi
sandI
beli
eveGodandancest
orswil
lnotl
etthedev
il
win"
Wakhe:
"FuckGod!Fuckancest
ors!Youar
enot
doi
ngthi
s"
Zesul
i
we:
"DaddyKi
ng.
..
"
Wakhe:"Nononono"Heshookhi
shead
count
lessti
mestear
sfal
l
ingonhi
sface.He
coul
dn'tunderst
andwhyGodandancestor
s
havetoputhiswifeint
odanger
.Shei
snotthe
onl
yprophetintheworldwhysheist
heone
whohav etofacethedevi
l
."Youar
enotdyi
ng
onmeLi we"
Zesuli
we:"
YesI'
m nothav
efai
thmyl
ovepl
ease"
Tearsfal
lonherface.
Wakhe:
"NoI'
m notgoi
ngt
oal
l
owy
ougambl
e
wi
thyourl
if
e"
Zesul
iwe:"PleaseWakhe"shewhi speredand
ki
ssedherhusbandt asti
ngt hesaltofhistears
andsnotassher anherf ingersonhi shead
i
ntensif
yingt hekiss.Hemoanedi nhermout h
andranhi sboldhandsal l overherwar m body.
Shecouldf eelhismanhoodgr owing
underneathhershedi r
ectedhi smemberwi t
h
heronehandwhi letheot heronewas
massaginghi shead.
Wakhe:
"Ssss"hewincedi
npl
easur
easher
wal
lsst
retchedtoaccommodat
ehimful
l
y.
Shest artedmov i
ngsl owlyl ocki ngherey eson
hisredhal fhoodedey es.Hi sgr oansgr ew
l
ouderur ginghertoincr easeherspeed. "
Ohh
fuck!"Hespankedherbut tdr i
v inghercr azyshe
rockedbackandf ort
hl ettingoutt hemost
glori
oussoundsofpl easur e." Youcan' tdi eon
me"hegr untsoutashi sbodyt ensedupshe
slowdownandki ssedhi m shedi dn'twanthi m
tocum nownoty et.Hest oodupwi thherst i
ll
i
nsideofherandl ai
dheront hebedt henki ssed
herneckgoi ngdownt oherbr easther ubbed
hernipplewi thhisthumbwhi lesucki ngont he
otheronesendi ngwav esofpl easur et hatmade
hermoanedsof tl
y.Het r
ailedki ssesdownt o
herkittyandnuzzl edagai nsti t.Hedr ovehi s
toungei nsideofherset t
ingof fashat t
ering
moant hatwasmusi ct ohi sear sur ginghi mt o
godeeperhi tt
ingthespott hatt urnedher
moansi ntoonel onghi ghpi t
chedor gasmshe
suckleal lherdeli
ciousj uicesandgotont opof
herkissingher .Hismemberwant edt obe
i
nsideofheralreadyheslippedintoherf ull
y
shegasped.Hebuckedhi shi psashel ocked
hi
st earyeyesonhergli
steningey essinking
deepintoher.Theymadeemot i
onalloveall
ni
ghtl ongsweati
ng,gr
unting, moaningand
cry
ing.
PRESENTDAY
Tear sranef f
ort
lesslywhenshet houghthowi t
willshatterherhusbandandchi l
drenifshe
doesn' tmakei t
.Herhear tachesforKuhleand
Mj sheknowt heyar eweakt heyprobablywon'
t
survivethisheartacheunl ikeSihl
eandI nathey
haveal way sbeent hest r
ongestones.Then
there'sThandowhowi llblameher sel
fabout
everything.Justwhenshet houghtshehadf i
nd
herdaught erNkosi sthandilenowshemi ght
l
eav eher .Shecriedhar derasal l
herthoughts
crowdi nghermi ndwaki ngupherhusbandi n
thepr ocess.
Wakhe:
"Dar
li
ng"hesai
dwi
thawor
ri
edy
etsexy
sl
eepyvoi
ce.Shewi
pedhert
ear
squi
ckl
yand
smil
ed
Zesul
iwe:
"Yeshoney"I
fther
e'sonepersonwho
knowherisherhusband.Hedidn'
tsayanythi
ng
butpul
ledherontopofhim andcomfortedher
.
Wakhe:"Youwi l
lbebackbaby "Thosewor ds
werenotev enconv i
nci
bletohimselft
oo.He
tr
iedtofighttheurgetocrybuthefail
ed
di
smal l
y.Theybothcr i
edcomf or
ti
ngeachot her
andpromi si
ngeachot hert
hingsthatarenot
guarant
eed.Shel i
ftedupherheadandki ssed
hi
m
Zesul
i
we:
"Il
ovey
ousomuch"
Wakhe:
"Il
ovey
oumor
e"
Zesul
iwe:
"I
fIdon'
tcomebackaf
ter1andhal
f
hourcomeandcheckonme"
Wakhe:"
Okay"Hewhi sper
edandwipedhis
wi
fe'
stears.Theytookashowertoget
heraft
er
t
hattheydressedup.Liwewentt
ogatherall
the
thi
ngsshewil
lneedinherr
ondoval
whil
e
Wakhewokeupt hei
rchi
ldr
en.Themoment
Liwewalkedi
nIssyj
umpedonherarms
I
ssy:
"Mom youdon'
thavetodothi
splease.
Thi
nkaboutmeIjustf
oundyouisn'
ti
tunfai
r
nowthaty
ouhavetoleaveme"shesobbed
Zesuli
we:"Iwil
lcomebackf oryou.
"Shekissed
herforehead"Foral
lofyou"Shelookedather
chi
ldrenwhost oodupfrom thei
rseatsand
walkedtohert ohugher
."Iloveyouguys"She
ki
ssedt hem onthei
rfor
eheads
Them:
"Wel
ovey
out
ooMama"
Zesul
i
we:
"I
nadon'
tfor
getwhatIsai
dboy"
I
na:
"Iwon'
tMama"
Zesul
iwe:
"Yout
ooSihl
e"Si
hlenoddedt
ear
s
runni
ngdownherf
ace.
Li wewalkedt
oherhusbandandcuppedhis
facebeforepl
ast
eri
ngherli
psonhis.They
kissedpassi
onat
elyasi
tcouldbet
hel astt
ime
"
Ilov
eyou"
Wakhe:
"Il
oveyoutoo"Hetri
edsohardnott
o
cr
yespeci
all
yinfr
ontofthei
rchi
l
dren.
Zesuliwe:"
Thisi sit"Shet ur
nedt owal kaway
Wakhepul ledhercl osetohim andsqueezed
herintohisar ms.Theyshar edt helongest
warm hugev er."Letmegobaby "Shewhi sper ed
asherhusbanddi dn'twanttol erhergohehel d
herfordearl i
fe.Af tersomet imehef i
nallylet
goofher" Ilovey oual l"Shesmi ledblinki
ng
backhert earst henmadeherwayout .Thesobs
fi
ll
edt heroom Wakhedi dn'
tknowwhot o
comf ortasallthegi rlswerecr yi
ngwhi l
e
Zesuliwegoti nhercaranddr oveof f
.Upon
arr
ivalont hecliffsheputt hematdownand
kneeleddownt henl ightwhite7candl es.She
cl
osedherey esherhear twaspoundi nghar d
againstherchest" Lordgivemest rength"she
whisperedt oher selfandstartedpr ayingint he
meanwhi leNkany ambawokeupf eeli
nghotf or
nopar ti
cularreason.Her antohi shutandsat
onthematthenlookedonthespeci
almir
ror
.
HesawZesuliweprayi
nghewonderedhowdid
hi
sTikol
oshemissedthishewassupposeto
Wakhehim up.
Nkany amba: "
Sekufikeekgcinenmf azi ndini
ngiyi
Nkany ambami na"Het ookblackmut iand
appli
edi tonthespeci almirror"
Makhosazanai s
mine!"Zesuliwef el
timmensepai nallov erher
bodybl oodcomi ngoutofhernosebutshe
prayedhar derthenbef oreunti
lNkany ambaf el
t
burningsensat i
onal l
ov erhisbodyhegr oaned
i
nagonyt hemi rr
orshat ter
edintopieces.They
bothcol l
apsedkwany a!
[
06/
01,
14:
42]W:
62
NARRATED
•
Thechi l
drensawthatthei
rdaddyisal
sogoing
throughdiff
icul
tti
me.Itst
hemostdiff
icul
t
sit
uationonecanev erf
acethathiswif
emi ght
diesot heycomfort
edeachother.
Inamandl
apulledhi
stwi
nsist
ertohi
slapwho
wascryi
ngloudert
henever
ybodyel
se.Shef
elt
l
ikeGodhateher.
Allsheeverdoneinherl if
eistohav efait
hi n
hi
m whyi shepuni shingherli
kethis.Why
everyoneshelovemustbesnat chedawayf r
om
her.Fir
sti
twasherf akeMama, secondi twas
Mzwakhe, thi
rditwasherpr eci
oust wins,fourt
h
herchocolatecakethel oveofherlif
enowi t
's
herMama.
Sheknowsshehav esinnedi
nfrontofGodbut
doesn'
tshedeser
veasecondchance?Si hl
e
comfort
edhertwi
nsi st
erwhi
leMj comfort
ed
Thando.Thesi
ghtbroughtasmi
lei nWakhe's
face.
Hewentt otheki
tchenandmadeeachan
ever
yoneacupofhotchocolat
e.Heserv
ed
them onebyoneandsatdown.
Wakhe:
"Ya'l
lmom i
sastrongestwomanmy
chi
l
drenpleasecal
m downandletspr
ayand
begGodtosaveher
"Theyal
lputt
heircupson
thegl
asst
ableandkneel
eddownj
oiningthei
r
hands
"Let
scloseoureyesandpray"Theyclosedthei
r
eyesandprayedaft
erawhi l
etheysai
dAmen
andtheyfel
tali
tt
lebett
er.Theytooktheircups
ofhotchocol
ateandsatdownsi ppi
ngont hem.
Hehav etobest rongforhischil
dreneven
thoughthet i
meseem t obedragging.He
wantedt ogot herealr
eadytocheckonhi swife.
Heent ert
ainedhischildrenwit
hhisv oi
ce,
singi
ngandt heyallj
oinedhim bef
oreheknewi t
1hourand30mi nuteswasov erhetookhiscar
keys
I
ssy
:"Iwantt
ogowi
thy
oudaddy
"
Wakhe:"
Nosweet
hear
tst
ayher
ewi
thy
our
si
bli
ngs"
I
ssy
:"Butdaddy
..
."
Wakhe:
"Ha.
ali
tt
leangel
"Heki
ssedher
f
oreheadandwalkedout.Hewasshaki
ngwi
th
f
earhecouldn'
tgraspt
hesteer
ingwheel
.
Hear ri
vedther
eandst
eppedoutofthecar
bef
orer unni
ngtohi
swi
fewhowasl y
ing
hel
plessly.
Hiskneeswobbl edtearscloudinghisvisionhe
wentdownonhi skneesandpul l
edhert ohis
arms" Nononononowakeupbabypl ease..
.
Liwewami ..
.MommyQueen"Hesl appedher
cheekslightly"
Nooooo! "hecr i
edshakingher .
"Honeypl easedon'tdot hi
st omecomebackt o
me"Her usuait
atehermout htomout hhedi dn'
t
evencareaboutt hebloodthatwascov eredon
hermout h.Shecoughed" Yesbabycomeback
please"Sheopenedherey es" Youscaredme"
Histearsf al
lonherf ace
Zesuli
we:"It
oldyouIwon'tdi
eonyou"she
brushedhisf
ace.Hesmiledandki
ssedher
Wakhe:
"Whatnextnow"
Zesul
i
we:
"Wear
efet
chi
ngMakhosazana"
Wakhe:"
Let'
sgot hen"Hest oodupandpi cked
herupthenwalkedt ohiscar.Hebuckl edher
andwenttohisside"Iwi l
lcoll
ecty ourcarl at
er"
Hetookhishandkerchiefandwi pedhi swi fe'
s
bl
oodonhernoseandmout h.Shel ooked
drai
nedandherbodywassor e.Shedi rected
hertoNkanyamba' shouse.Theyf ound
Makhosazanacryingnexttoabur ntlif
eless
bodyofNkanyamba.
Zesul
i
we:
"Gr
eet
ings"
Makhosazana:
"Whoar
eyou"
Zesuliwe:
"I
'm Zesul
iweI'
m her
etosav eyou.
Thismant ooky ouwit
houtyourwil
land
cleanedyourmemor y.Youarenotaserv ant
youar eMakhosazanawhohav etwochil
dr en
KhethokuhleandThandokuhledoyou
remembert hem? "
Makhosazana:
"NoIdon'
tknowwhatyouare
t
alki
ngaboutmaybeyougotawrongperson"
Zesul
i
we:
"Youneedt
otr
ustmeI
'
m her
etohel
p
y
ou"
Wakhe:
"I
t'
strueMakhosazanacomewit
hus
maybei
fyoucanseey ourchi
ldr
enyouwil
l
r
emember "
Makhosazana:
"GetoutnowIdon'
tneedthi
sI
j
ustl
ostmymast er.OhNkanyi
"Shecri
ed.
WakhelookedatZesul
i
wewi t
hannoyance
t
hinki
ngofhowheal mostl
osthi
swi f
eto
r
escuethi
swomanandnowshei sthrowi
ng
t
hem out.
Zesul
i
we:
"Makhosazana.
..
."Shecutherof
f
Makhosazana:
"Phumami niphel
el aaaa!!
"(Get
outofher
e!!
)shethrowthingsont hem.Wakhe
cover
edhiswif
esot hatshewon' tgethitbythe
thi
ngsMakhosazanawast hrowingatt hem as
theyr
anout.
Wakhe:
"Thisi
sbul
l
shi
t"Theywer
eint
hei
rcar
nowdri
vingoff
Zesul
i
we:
"Cal
m downJobeshei
sconf
usedshe
needhel
p"
Wakhe:
"Ayy
ouar
enothel
pingherany
mor
e!!
"
Zesul
iwe:
"Ihav
et ocompl
etet
hismi
ssi
onwe
wil
lcomebackt omorr
ow"
Wakhe:"Youar
enothel
pingherany
mor eI'
m
yourhusbandandt
hemanoft hehouse!
"
Zesuli
wekeptqui
etshedi
dn'thav
estr
ength
shejustneededt
osoakherbodyandsl
eep.
Shetoldher
sel
fshewill
softenherhusbandup
whenshewakeup.Theyar r
ivedathomethe
chi
ldr
enjumpedonher"Kidsy ourmom have
beenthr
oughhel
lherbodyissoretakei
teasy"
I
ssy:"
YoucamebackforusMama"She
wrappedherar
msaroundherMama
Zesul
i
we:
"It
oldy
ouIwi
l
lcomebackf
ory
ou"
Kuhl
e:"
Ithoughty
ouwi
l
lcomebackwi
thher
Mama"
Zesul
i
we:
"Shedoesn'
twantt
ocome"
Thando:
"Di
dyoutell
heraboutus"shesai
d
rat
herdi
sappoi
nted
Zesul
i
we:"Looksweethearty
ourmom' s
memor ywascleanedsoitwillt
akeherti
met
o
remembereveryt
hingbepatientokay
."
Thando:
"Okay
"
Mj
:
"Thedev
ili
sdeadt
hough?
"
Wakhe:
"Goodr
iddance"
Issy:
"Ibowdownmyheadf oryouMama"She
saidbowi ngherheadtheyalldi
dt heysame.A
grati
ficat
ionsmil
edwaspl asteredonZesuli
we.
Shecoul dn'
tbeli
eveshedidit.Nowwhatl ef
tis
tobringMakhosazanabackt olifecozsheat
herownwor l
d.
•
MZWAKHE
•
Godgav
emeasecondchancet
omeetmy
f
ather
.Wellthemanthathitmewi
thhi
scar
t
urnedoutt
obemyf ather
.Whatacoi
nci
dence.
I'
m sti
llshockedaboutalloft
hiscozIthought
myf atheri
sRobertZulu.Ihaveneverheardhim
sayi
ngI '
m nothissonevenMamanev ertold
met hatI'
m notRobert
'sson.
Iguessthatwhyit
stookhim soeasyt
oturna
bl
indeyewhenhiswifewasabusingme.Ihat
e
hi
mt oget
herwit
hhiswitchwife.
Ican'tbel
iev
eIhav ebeensuf
fer
ingwhi
leIhave
afatherandhel ookedsosi
ncer
eIdon'tknow
may beI'
m gull
i
blebuthehavebeentr
eatingme
sowel lt
hesefewday s.
Iwastransf
erred t
ooneofJozi
'
spr i
vat
e
hospi
talcozthatwher
ehel
ivewithhi
swifeand
son.Healsohaveadaught
erwhichisol
der
thenme.
Wet
alkedandhetoldmehedi dn'tknowabout
memymom nev ertol
dhim aboutme.Actual
ly
I
'mt
heonenightstandbabysoy eah.
Iguessmom wasashamedandchoset orai
se
mealone.Eventhoughmom di
edwhenIwas
youngbutIknowthatshewasarespesf
ul
woman.
IhaveaFATHERguy swhoi swill
ingtot ake
careofmeIsawsi nceri
tyinhisey esheev en
cri
ed.I
'm givi
nghi m andmy sel
fthischancet o
makeourr el
ationshipworkIhopemysi bli
ngs
andhiswifewon' tstandonourway ,especial
l
y
hiswif
etypicalstepmot hersurgh!
"Howarey
ouf
eel
i
ngMrZul
u"Askedt
hemal
e
nurse
Me:
"I
mfeel
i
ngbet
tert
heny
est
erdayt
hanky
ou"
"
Welll
etgety
oubathed"Hehel
pedmeupwe
wentt
othebathr
oom.
•
SQALESI
HLE
•
Il
ovehowheknowseachanev
erypar
tofmy
bodyt hatreacttohistouchandsendmet omy
mini heaven.Everythrustcarri
edamessage
thatsayIl oveyouwi t
hal lmyhear t,Igotyou
babyandI m notgoingany wher eyouarest uck
withmef ortherestofy ourl
ife.Idugmynai ls
onhi sbackandgur gl
ehi spraisesingrati
tude
asIsqui r
tat sunami oforgasm.Hef oll
owed
aftermegr owl
ingli
keani mal andfallontopof
me.
Hubby:"
Ngizi
bongel
eMaj
obe"(
Thanky
ou
Majobe)hepanted
Me:"Kubongami naNget hethatwasamazi ng
morni ngglory"Heki ssedmycheekwef al
lint
o
sweetsi l
encej ustl
isteningtoeachot her'
s
heartbeats.Fewmi nuteslaterIheardhim
snori
ngsof tlyIlethim ber unni
ngmyf i
ngerti
ps
onhisbackdownt ot hebaseofhi sback.He
haven'tbeenhi msel feversincehecameback
fr
om Newcast leIwonderwhatbot her
shim but
hewi l
l t
ellmewhenhei sreadyev enthoughit
wil
ltakef oreverthatwhatIhav egotuseto.I'
m
j
ustgladhet
ell
meev
ent
ual
l
y.Hi
sphoner
angI
shookhim
Me:
"Baby
"
Hubby
:"Mhh"Hi
smanhoodt
wit
chedi
nsi
deof
me
Me:
"Yourphonei
sri
ngi
ng"
Hubby
:"Whoi
sit
"Ist
ret
chedmyar
m andt
ooki
t
f
rom t
hebesi
de
Me:"Mzeet
"Hegotupf
rom meandt
ookhi
s
phone
Hubby
:"Iwi
l
lgohav
eashowerbaby
"
Me:"
Iwi
ll
joi
nyouaft
erIhav
emadet
hebed"He
ki
ssedmeandjumpeddown.
Hubby :
"Mzeet"Hesai dshuffl
ingtot he
bathroom.Isl
idoutofbedandpul ledar obe
thenmadet hebedbef oregoingtot he
bathroom.Hewasst i
llonthephone" Ar
ey ou
sureaboutthat.
..
.Okayifyousaysol et'
shold
on..
.Theohaveabr other?IthoughtTheowas
theonl yboy?..
.Ihopet hatbast arddi dn'ttouch
mydaught erMzeet !.
..
I'
m gl ady ouhandl edhim...
Howi sshe? ..
.Keepi tli
ket hatshedoesn' thave
toknowIknowhowpani ckyshecanbeshei s
pregnantst r
essi sthelastt hi
ngsheneedr i
ght
now...NoIhav en'ttoldherIcan' tlosemywi fe
Mzeetwhyam Iev enexpl ainingmy selft oyou
nxby e!"Iwalkedi nhel ookedf l
ushed" Babe
howl onghav ey oubeent here"
Me:"
Notl
ongwhy"It
ookoutmyr
obel
ett
ingi
t
f
all
onthefl
oor
Hubby
:"Not
hingj
ustaski
ng"Ist
rut
tedt
ohi
m
andki
ssedhim.
Me:"
Ilov
eyou"Hegr
abbedmybut
tpul
l
ingme
cl
osetohim
Hubby :
"Il
oveyoumor ethenIlovemysel
fyou
arethecenterofmyhappi ness"Weki
ssed
passionatel
ywhichledust ohaveashower
steamysession."BabyIhavesomewheretogo"
Wewer enowdressingup
Me:"
Butbabywhenl asthavewespendaday
outwithourson.Hemi ssedusy
ouknow,I
al
somi ssus"OnethingIhatemoret
hen
anyt
hingismysont ofeelli
kewedon'
thav
e
ti
mef orhi
m.
Hubby:
"IknowbabybutIthi
nkit
swon'tbethat
badify
oust ayathomeandtakecar
eofour
son"OhGodwher ewegoagain!
Me:"Itol
dy ouIwon'tbeahousewi f
eI'
mtoo
youngforthatIhaven'
treachmythir
ti
es
Vincentdon'ty
outhinkthat'
sunf
air
?"
Hubby :
"Youaremarri
edSihleandyouhavea
sony ouneedtocompr omise.Ihat
eitt
hatmy
sonisraisedbyot
herwomen.Howmanyt i
mes
havewechangedhi snannieshuh?Wear e
confusi
nghim heisababy "
Myhusbandi shoty ouguysli
kear eal
per
iper
i
sotheset heseyoungnanni esthr
ow
themselvesathimi tsfrust
rat
ingand
disr
espectful.It
rusthim Ir
eall
ydobutheisa
manaf terall
.Thelastnannywehadwasa
l
unaticyerrthatgir
lcanyoubelieveshewentas
farasput t
ingkorebel
ainmyhusband' sfood
l
uckymom camet orescuebeforeheevenate
thefood.SoImadesur ethatt
histimearoundI
getanol dwomanwhohav eahusbandand
chil
dren.
Me:
"Mam Margar
etisalovel
ywomanbabyshe
i
snotl
ikeot
hernannies"
Hubby:
"Youknowwhatdoy
ou"Her
aisedhi
s
handsi
nsurrender
.
Me:
"Vi
ncentcomeondon'
tbel
i
ket
hat
'
Hubby:
"I
t'
scl
ear
lymost
hatIdon'
thav
easayi
n
t
his"
Me:"
Thati
snottr
ueSbani
set
huisoursonof
cour
seyouhaveasayi
nhisl
ife"
Hubby:
"Well
Idon'tf
eel
li
kethatr
ightnow.I
knowyouloveyourj
obbutwhataboutourson.
Heneedyou24/7ashismother"
Me:"
Isn'tunf
airthatI
'mtheonewhohaveto
qui
tmyj obwhil
ey oucont
inuetowor
k.Heis
al
soy oursonVincentmaket i
meforhi
m!!
"
Hubby
:"Younotgoi
ngt
orai
sey
ourv
oiceatme"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hubby:"
It
'sseem l
ikeyouforgetti
ngy ourplace
MrsZwaney ouareawoman.Thatwhatwomen
dotheysitathomeandr ai
sedt heirchi
ldren.I
'm
theonewhoi sal
way sherewithSbani whi l
eyou
arebusyatworkI'
m quitesurpr
isenowy ouar e
questi
oningmytimef ormyson. .
.."Icuthim off
Me:"Youar eyourownbossVi ncentandy ou
tal
klikeIm neverher
eby5pm I 'm alwayshere.
Thisis21stcenturyi
t'
sdoesn'twor kl
i
kethat
now.Womengot oworkandt akecar eoftheir
famil
ies.Mom hav ebeendoingitf oryear
s
neverev enoncehavewefeltlikeshedoesn't
havet i
mef orus"
Hubby
:"Haikei
t'
sclear
lyyouarenotasuper
womanl i
keher.Youarealway
stir
edwheny ou
comebackf rom workyouhardl
yspendt i
me
withus.Ican'
trememberwhenwast helastI
atefoodcookedbyy ou.Margar
etisnotmy
wifeyouaremywi fe.YouareSbani
sethu's
mot hernotMargar
et"Isi
ghedheavil
yandsunk
onthebedIwasobl i
vi
oustoalloft
his.
Me:"I
'
m sor
ryIdidn'
treali
zeI'
m suchabadwi
fe
andabadmot herpl
easef or
giveme"He
kneel
edbet
weenmyt highsandcuppedmy
face
Hubby:
"Ididn'
tsayyouar
eabadwi
feandabad
mothersthandwasami.
..
"
Me:"
ButIfeell
i
keIam.I '
m sorryIdidn'
tknowI
pr
omiseitwon'thappenagain.From nowonI
wi
llbeacommi tt
edwi f
eandamot herbut
pl
easedon'tmakemequi tmyj ob."
Hubby:
"All
Iwantfr
om youi
sy ourt
imeforusas
afamil
ybabyy oudon'
thav
etoquityourjob
okay
"Inoddedhekissedmytearsaway"Ihate
i
twheny oucr
ysshh"Hepull
edmet ohisarms
andst
rokemyback"
Ilov
eyousomuch"
Me:"
Iloveyoutoo"Isnuggl
edcloseral
l
owi
ng
hi
sintoxi
cati
ngscentfi
llmynose.
Hubby:
"Iwontt
akelongt
odayit
'sme,
ourson
andyouokay"Hepull
edback
Me:
"Okay"Weki ssedthenhestoodupand
wal
kedout.Itookmycarkey sandf oll
owedhim.
Hi
scallwit
hMzeetl ef
tmeunset tl
ed.Ifound
Margar
etfeedingSbaniset
hu."
Mor ningMama"
Sbani
:
"Mor
ningMommy
"Hesai
dwi
thcer
eal
in
hi
smouth
Me:"
Siesswall
owfir
stbef
oreyoutal
k"He
gi
ggledhi
dinghisf
acewit
hhisti
nyhands
Sbani
:
"Aki
esMama"
Me:"
It
'sokaymyboy
"Iwi
pedhi
smout
hand
ki
ssedhim
Magr
ee:
"Mor
ningsi
s"
Me:
"MyhusbandandIar
epl
anni
ngt
ogoout
wi
thSbani
sethuy
oucanhaveadayoffMama.I
wi
l
ltr
ansfery
oumoneyjustt
ospoi
lyour
sel
f"
Magr
ee:
"Oht
hati
ssosweetmt
anami
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
lbebackr
ightnow"Shenodded
Sbani
:
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ngMama?
"
Me:" Iwillbebackbaby"Iki ssedhi sf or
ehead
andr anout .Luckyhej ustdr oveout .Igotinmy
carandf ollowedhi m surrept iti
ously.Hest ar
t ed
atst eersandboughtbur ger st henwentt opick
npayandboughtgoodi es.Iwonderwher eishe
taki
ngal lthisfood.Hepul ledof fatt hehospit al
andst eppedoutoft hecarwi ththepaperbag
andpl asti
c.IknowwhatI '
m doi ngi swr ongbut
curiosi t
ygotbet t
erofme.Ist eppedoutofmy
carandf ollowedhi m.Myhear twant edtojump
outofmymout h.Idon'tthinkI 'mreadyf orwhat
I'
m aboutt osee.Whoi shev isit
ingher e
probabl yhi smi str
ess.Ibr eat hedoutl oudly
steelingmy selfforthewor st.
"
Heyson"hesai
dtot
heguywhowasl
yi
ngon
t
hebedwi t
hcementonhi slegandsomet
hing
t
osupporthisneck.Icoul
dn'
tmisshowdothey
l
ookal
ike
Guy
:"HeyDad"
Hubby
:"Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng"
Guy
:"Iwi
l
lbef
ine"
Hubby:
"Ibr
oughtyoufood"Hepl
acedthepaper
bagandplast
iconthebedsi
dedrawer
Guy
:"Thanky
ousomuch"
Hubby:
"Wi
l
lyoubeabl
etoeatorcanIf
eedy
ou
"Theguyl
aughed
Guy:
"I
'm cool
thanksf
ort
heoffert
hough"
Hubbychuckl
edandsatdown"YouknowIst
il
l
can'
tbel
ieveyouaremydad"
Hubby
:"If
eel
you"
Guy:"
Sowhenam Imeeti
ngmysi
bli
ngsand
yourwif
e.Ican'
twai
t"
Iwal
kedi
nandsai
d"Ican'
twai
ttomeety
out
oo
son"Hubbyt
urnedandl
ookedatmewi
tha
wideopenmouth
Hubby:"
Baby "Itur
nedaroundandwalkedout.I
wassomadhowcanhehi desomethi
nghuge
l
iket
his."Maj obewaitup!
"Ikeptonwalki
ng
"
Sihl
e!"Iignoredhim andwalkedout
.Igotto
mycar" Baby"
Hegr
abbedmyhand
Me:
"Don'
ttouchme!
"Iy
ankedof
fhi
shand
Hubby
:"Letmeexpl
ainpl
ease"
Me:"Don'
tyouthi
nkt hatwassomet
hingyou
shouldhavedonethemomenty oufoundout
youhaveasonVi ncent!!
"
Hubby:
"Don'
tcauseascenepl
easel
etgohome
andtal
kaboutthi
s"
Me:"
Idon'
twanttot
alktoyou"Hepressedme
agai
nstmycarandcuppedmyf ace
Hubby
:"Gi
vemeachancet
oexpl
ainpl
ease"
Me: "Goi nsi
dey oursoni swaiti
ngforyou"I
freedmy selff
rom him andgoti nsi
det hecar.I
starteditanddr oveoff .Don'
tgetmewr ongI
don' thav eaproblem thathehav easont he
probl em iswhyi shidi
ngsomet hingbiglikethi
s?
Ifhecanhi desomet hi
nghugel i
kethiswhat
elsei shehi di
ngf r
om me?Hei sbusysneaki ng
aroundasi fIeverhadapr obl
em withhis
children.IloveKonkeev enaft
erwhat
transpiredbetweenZol aniandher.Wher eis
thissoncomi ngfrom?Whynowaf t
erall t
hese
year s?Wher eishismama?
Hewasf ol
l
owingbehindme.Uponarri
val
he
ranaft
ermeasIwalkedinsi
dehegrabbedmy
handandwalkedwit
hmet oourbedroom.He
pull
edmetohislapashesatdownonourbed
andmademel ookathim wi
thhi
sindexfi
nger
.
Hubby
:"I
'
m sorr
yforkeepi
ngthi
stoy
ouIwas
goi
ngtotel
lyoubabybeli
eveme"
Me:
"WhenVi
ncent
?Whywer
eyouev
enhi
ding
t
hisfr
om me.Whendi
dyoufoundoutabout
t
his?Wher
eishecomi
ngfrom?"
Het
ookadeepbr
eat
handl
ookedatme
Hubby :"24y earsagoIhad2t wof riendsNt ando
andSi pho.Wewer esocloseoneni ghtSi pho
hostapar t yforhisli
ttl
ebrotherf orpassi ngall
hissubj ect swi t
hdisti
ncti
ons.Thepar twasa
blastmusi c, gi
rl
s,boozeev erythingwason
point.Si phohookedusupwi t
ht hisgirlgoesby
thenameofNokukhany aMabi zela.Iwasso
drunkt oev ennot i
cethatthegi rl wasunder
i
nf l
uenceofdr ugsweal lsleptwi t
hher .Two
weeksl at erNt andoandSi phogotar restedfor
sexual assaul t
.Iwasy oung,naï veanddr unkI
didn'treal izewewer eactuallyf orcingour sel
ves
tothegi rl.WhenIf oundoutt hepol i
cewer e
l
ooki ngf ormeIr anaway .Thest orieswewer e
toldaboutwhatt heinmat esdot or apistswere
soi ntenseIwasscar edtogot oj ailbaby.Days
backwhenIwasi nNewcast leIr anov ertothi
s
boycoi nci dentall
y.IwassoshockedwhenI
sawhi sf aceandIdi dDNAt estandhet urned
outtobemyson.Youwer enotpar anoi d
someonehav ebeenf ol
lowingy out hosewer e
myguy sIwant edy outobepr ot
ect edcozI
wasn'tsur eifthatboywantt oavengehi smom
orit'
sNt andosi nceheisoutofj ail.Si phoisstil
l
i
nsidet hatonei shardheadedhi ssent encewas
extended"IswearIwasn' treadyf ort hatIdidn'
t
knowwhatt osayorhowt of eel
." Say
somet hingbaby "
Me:"
How.
.ol
d..
was.
.she?
"Isai
dwi
thashaky
voi
ce
Hubby
:"16"Hewhi
sper
ed.
Me:
"Soy
ouar
ear
api
st"
Hubby
:"Iwasdr
unkand.
..
"
Me:"Bull
shit
!"Istoodupf rom hi
slap"You
vi
olateda16y earoldtogetherwit
hyourfr
iends
andy ouranawayont opoft hat
."Iwasshaking
uncontrol
labletearsfal
li
ngl i
keawaterfal
lon
myf ace
Hubby:
"I
m sorrybabyIknowIwassupposetel
l
youbutIwasscaredtoloseyou,
Iwasscared
yougoi
ngt ochangethewayyoulookatme"He
gotuptotouchme
Me:"
Don'ttouchme!Youareabloodyrapi
stand
youkeptthatfr
om me!Whatel
sear eyouhidi
ng
f
rom me?Letsaythisgi
rldi
dn'
tfall
pregnant
wereyougoingtotel
lme?"
Helookedatmewi
thpai
ninhi
sey esandsaid
not
hing"OhmyGodImarr
iedarapist
"Isobbed
Hubby :
"BabyI '
m sorryokayIhat emy self
everydayforwhatIdi di fIcoul dturnbackthe
handsoft imeIwoul d."Her eachedf ormywaist
Isteppedbackhewal kedt owar dsuntil
I
couldn'
tmov eanymor e" Iknowi t
'snotan
excuset hatIwasdr unkandy oungbutIswearI
wasobl i
v i
oustoal l
oft hedamageIcaused.I
thoughtitwhatt hegirlwant ed"
Me:"
Getawayfr
om meIneedtobreat
hthi
sis
j
usttoomuch.Mydear
esthusbandtur
nedout
t
obeal yi
ngrapist
!Ir
ememberIonceasked
youaboutNokukhany
aMabizel
aandyouliedi
n
myface!"
Hubby :
"Ngi
yaxol
isaSi
hle"(I
'm sorrySi
hle)he
pressedhisfor
eheadagainstmi ne"I
'mr eal
l
y
sorry"
Me:"Yousorry?Whataboutt hepainyoucaused
tothatwoman?I nst
eadoff acingthe
consequencesy ouranawayl i
keacowardy ou
are!Thi
sit'
sleastofwhatIexpecteditst
oo
muchIcan't"Ifreedmy sel
ff r
om him
Hubby :"
Whatdoy oumeany oucan't"Iwalked
toSbani set
hu'sbedr oom andpackedhi s
clothes"Babyy oucan' tl
eav eme"Iwi pedmy
tearsandcont i
nuepacki nghehel dmyhands
"SihleI'
m beggingyoucan' tleaveIl
ov eyou.
Whatwoul dIbewi thouty ouhuh?Whyar eyou
all
owi ngapastt hatI'm notpr oudoftocome
betweenus.IknowIdi dwr ongbutpl easedon'
t
l
eav eme.Ineedy oumor et henevernow.He
doesn'tknowhowwasheconceiv
edandIli
ed
tohimi t
'seati
ngmeupev
eryti
meIlookathi
m
pleasedon'tgo"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryVi
..
"
Hubby :
"Youcan'
treli
nqui
shonuslikethaty
ou
promisedtoneverleaveme!Ar
eyougoi ngto
throwawayt woyearsofourmarr
iage?Thelove
made? "
Izi
ppedSbani
'
sbagandt
ooki
t
"
Honeypl
ease"Hebl
ockedmyway
Me:"LetmepassVincent
"Hekneel
eddownand
huggedmythighs
Hubby:"
Don'
tgopl easeIl
ov eyouSqalesihl
e
fr
om thedept
hofmyhear t.Don'
tleaveme
pl
easehowam Isupposet obreathwithoutai
r.
Youaretheai
rthatIbreath,thesourceofmy
happi
nessyoubringoutthebesti nmepl ease
MaZwane"Hecr i
edwet ti
ngmydr ess.
Me:
"Vi
ncentpl
e..
."
Hubby :
"Iwi l
lhandinmy selfifthatwhatyou
want.Iwi l
l r
atherhavey ouv i
siti
ngmei njai
l
thenleav i
ngme"Ev ery
thingi st oomuchf orme
whathur tmet hemosti st hatIaskedhim about
thi
sNokukhany ahedidn'tt r
ustmeenought o
tel
lmeaboutt hi
s.May bei fhedi dthi
ngswould
bedifferenthei sonlytell
ingmet hetrut
hnow
cozhei sf orcedto.Ifr
eedmy selfandwalkedto
theloungewher eIfoundMagr eeandmyson.I
tookmyphoneandt r
ansf erredR5000f or
Magr ee
Me:"
Ijustt
ransf
err
edthemoneyMamat
hank
yousomuch"Shet ookherphone
Magr
ee:
"I
t'
stoomuchmychi
l
d"
Me:"
Youdeser
vet
ospoily
oursel
fdon'
twor
ry
i
t'
snotdeduct
edf
rom y
oursalar
y"
Magree:
"Ngi
yabongamt
anami
"(Thanky
oumy
chi
l
d)
Me:
"KubongaminaMama"(Thanky
ouMama)
"
Sbanicome"Ipi
ckedhi
m upandwalkedout
wi
thhim.Iwenttomycarandputhisbagt
hen
st
rapshi
mi nandwentt
omysi de.
Sbani"
Daddyi
snotcomi
ngMommy
"Ist
art
ed
thecaranddr
oveout
Me:
"Nobaby
"
Sbani
:
"Why
"
Me:
"Youaskt
oomuchquest
ionsSbani
set
hu!
!"
Sbani
:
"Aki
es"If
eltbadf
orshout
ingathi
m
Me:
"NoI
'
m sor
rybaby
"
Idi
dntwantt ogohomecozmom anddadwi ll
seethroughmeandst ar
taskingquestions
whichI'
m notprepar
edtoanswer .I
tslikedad
i
swai t
ingformyhusbandt omessupsomehow
buthomet hatt
heonlyplaceIneedrightnow
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Iwaswokenupbyki
ssesal
lov
ermyf
ace
Me:
"Mmh"
Ina:
"Wakeupbaby "Iopenedmyey esand
rubbedt hem befor
egivinghim astare.Cana
personbet hisgorgeousmar aespeciall
yint
he
mor ning.MyfiancéisyummyI '
m sur
eashell
thathei saquickbabylol.Quickbabiesaret
he
hottestI'
mt el
li
ngy ou"Mor ni
ngMaSi thol
e"I
smiled
Me:
"Mor
ningBabaSi
thol
ehowar
eyou"
Ina:"
Wit
hyourightbymysideI
'
mf abul
ous.How
aremybabies"Hepull
edthebl
anketsand
kissedmyli
tt
lebump.
Me:
"Wear
efi
nedaddywehopey
ousl
eptwel
l
"
Ina:
"Ofcour
selov
ebutIcan'
tsaythesame
aboutyou,youweret
urni
ngandtossi
ngist
he
somethingbot
heri
ngyou?
"
Iswal
lowedhardt
here'
snothi
nghardasto
keepasecretabi
gsecrett
oyourl
oveone.
Me:
"I
'mj
ustner
vousaboutt
hisweekend"
I
na:"
Don'twor
rymybabythel
obola
negot
iat
ionswil
lgowel
l
"Hekissedmyl
i
ps
Me:
"I
fyousaysomyl
ove"myst
omachgr
owl
ed
Ina:
"Daddy
'sli
tt
lepr
incessi
shungrylethi
ta
showerI'
m sureKet
sanehasprepareda
breakf
astforus"
Me:
"Whosai
dit
'sagi
rl
"
I
na:
"Me"
Me:
"Youwi
sh"Het
ickl
edmeIgi
ggl
ed
I
na:
"YeMaSit
holeI
'
mt heonewhoej aculat
ed
i
nsi
deofyouandIsaythisi
sababygi r
l.Ican'
t
wai
ttomeetdaddy
'sl
itt
lepr
incess"
Me:"Iwi
llal
sobehappyifi
t'
sagi r
lweal
ready
havetwoboy sandonegir
lit
shavetobetwo-
two"helookedatmewithar ai
sedbr
ow
"What?"
I
na:"
Youarenottell
i
ngmet
hatmi
niy
oui
sour
l
astbaby
"Ichuckled
Me:
"Wehav
e3ki
dsal
readyst
handwasami
"
I
na:
"Iwantmor
ebaby6at
least
"
Me:"
YhoInahowwill
Imaint
aint
okeepmy
bodyinshapewi
thsomanychil
dren"
Ina:"
Mom hav esixchi l
drenbutshei ssti
ll
the
sexistmommyev er"Wellthattr
uey ouwouldn'
t
tell
thatwomanhav esixchil
drenandshei sin
herlateforti
es.Shei sasexymommai ndeed.
There'ssomet hi
ngaboutt heSi t
holewivescoz
evenhi sgrandmot heragebeaut i
ful
lyasexy
grandmot herI'
mt ell
ingyou.
Me:"Wearenotal
lthatl
uckyy
ouknow.You
knowhowhar di
tt ookmetobebacki
nmy
shapeaf
terSbonga'sbi
rt
h"
I
na:"
Ilov
eyouandIwi
l
llov
eyouev
eni
fyoucan
hav
eashapeofanamoeba"
Me:
"Hey
!"Ihi
thi
sbr
oadshoul
derhel
aughed
Ina:
"Youwi
llsti
l
lbet
hesexistwomani
nmy
eyes"heni
bbledonmyearsmakingmeto
moan
Me:"Beaut
yisi
ntheey
esofthebehol
derneh
ahhh"Imoanedasheplay
edwit
hmycl i
t.
I
na:
"Imi
ssy
ou"
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngt
obel
atebaby
"Igaspedf
orai
r
I
na:"
Wewil
lbequi
ck"Hepl
ast
eredhi
sli
pson
mineweki
ssed
Me:"Qui
ckandusthatwaterandparaff
in"Isai
d
betweentheki
ssmakinghimt ochuckl
e.Hegot
ontopofmeposit
ioninghimselfbet
weenmy
thi
ghs.
Ina:"Letpr
ov euswr ongt histi
me"Hef i
l
ledme
suddenl yIy elped"Im sorryyouaretoodamn
tight"Hest artedmov i
ng.Wehadourmor ni
ng
gloryIwasscr eamingtot hetopofmyv oi
cemy
babyi sar eal dealInevergetuset ohi
sdick.It
's
alway smakemey earnformor eandmor e
whi chmakeusl astlongerallthet
ime.After
mor ningglor ywehadi nnocentshowerthenwe
r
eti
redt
othebedr
oom andl
oti
onedourbodi
es.
I
na:
"Whenist
heint
eri
ordesi
gnercomi
ngbaby
f
orCassi
e'
sbedr
oom "heputonhisdeseal
jean
Me:"
Tomorrowsi
nceIdon'
thav
eashoot
"I
sl
i
ppedint
oadress
Ina:"
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dcancelbabyi
tsnouse
sincewearemovi
ngoutaft
erwegetmarri
ed"I
l
ookedathim wi
thagri
nasIputonmyheels
Me:
"Ohy
eah?
"Heputonhi
slacost
egol
fer
Ina:
"Ohyeahbabyy ourdream houseisready
forustomov ein"Isquealedinexci
tementand
gavehim ahugehughecat chedmeasI
clampedmyl egsaroundhi swaist
Me:"
YouarethebestbabyohIcan'
twait
"I
pl
antedki
ssesal
loverhisf
acesmakinghimt
o
gi
ggle.
I
na:"Ohy ouar
et hebestbaby"Weshared
passionateki
ss.Ilov
ehi m andIcan'
tlosehi
m
peoplehemakememor ethenhappywhich
givesmemor ereasonnott ot ell
him about
Thabie.Whatwil
lIsay?Wher edoIbegi n?On
topofthatJohnathanisinvolvedt hatmor onI
don'tknowwhydidhebur i
edhert hisisj usta
messnowi t'
snolongersel fdef ense.Hei s
goingtobeanuisancecozhei scalli
ngmeand
texti
ngmenonst opar ggg!"Yousai dy oudon't
hav eashoott
omor row?"
Me:
"Yesst
handwasami
"
Ina:
"WellIwasthi
nkingweshoul dgotothe
doctorIwanttoknowt hesexsot hatwecan
star
tbuyingaft
erthatwewi l
ltaketheki
dsout
j
usttocheerupKhwezi ."
Me:"Uhm t
hatwonderfulbaby"Iwiggledmysel
f
down.Khwezi misshi
sMamal astnighthewas
cryi
ngforherIf
eltsobad."St
illy
ouhav en'
t
foundoutwhereisThabie"Il
etmyweav el
ose
thewasnoneedt oapplymakeupsi nceI
'm
gonnawearitatwork.
I
na:
"NobabyIcan'
tbel
i
evet
hatgi
rlshej
ust
wentawolandfor
gotaboutKhwezi
.Yousee
whyIwantful
lcust
odyformyson"
Me:"
NowIseebaby "Iswal
l
owedhar
dGodhow
l
ongwi l
lIkeept
hisupit
seati
ngmesl
owl
ybut
sur
ely.
I
na: "Comel et
'sgo"Hetookmyhandwewent
downst air
s.Ketsanemadeabr eakfastIhadto
i
ncr easehersalarycozsheisnottakingcareof
theki dsonlyandalsothehouse.Shei sver
y
helpfulwithoutherIdon'
tknowhowI 'dmanage.
Beinganact r
ess,motherandwifei
snoteasy .
Tsane:
" Morni
ngMrandMr sSit
hol
e"We
chuckl
edshei ssuchahumbl esoulbutt
hat
doesn'
tmeanI 'm notwat
chingher.Li
zwasl
ike
thati
fwer emembersot hi
st i
meI'
m more
observant
.
Us:
"Mor
ningTsane"
Tsane:
"Br
eakf
asti
sser
vedi
nthedi
ningar
ea"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"Wewentt
othedi
ningar
eat
he
ki
dswer
ealr
eadygather
edaroundt
het
abl
e
wi
tht
hei
rkneesonthechai
rs.
"
Mommy
!Daddy
!"Theyar
esol
oud
Us:
"Ki
ds"Weki
ssedt
hem onebyoneont
hei
r
for
eheads.
Me:"
Howdidyousleepkids"I
napul
ledouta
chai
rformeIsatdownthenhepushediti
nsi
de
Sbonga:
"Icoul
dn'
tsl
eepMamaKhwezi
was
sni
ffi
ngthewholeni
ght
"
Ohnkosi
yami
I
na:"
Comeher eboy"Hetookhi
m andsatdown
wit
hhim putt
inghi
m onhisl
ap"Mom wil
lcome
backokay"
Khwez
i:
"When?
"
Ina:
"Maybetodaysoitswil
lbeokayneh"The
l
ittl
eboynodded"Goodboy "Hekissedhi
sli
ps
thenheplacedhim onthechai
r.Idi
shedupfor
everyone
Me:"
Cassiear
eyouokaybabygi
rl
"shewasalso
qui
et.Ei
shbei
ngaparenti
shardI
'mtel
l
ingyou
Cassi
e:"
YesAunt
y"
Me:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"
Shenoddedlookingdownt oherf
ood.Imakea
mentalnotetotalktoherwhenIcomeback.
Wehadbr eakfastandkissedourkidsgoodby
e
thenmyf i
ancédroppedmeatwor k.
I
na:
"Il
ovey
ougi
rl
s"
Me:"
Wel
ovey
out
oodaddy
"Ii
nchedcl
oserf
ora
ki
ss.
I
na:
"Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
"
Me:"
Okay"Iki
ssedhim onemoreti
met
henhe
wentoutt
oopent hedoorforme.
Thedaypr oceedverywel
laround12pm Iwas
donewi t
hmyshootandIwasf amished.I
text
edmyf i
ancesinceweendedearlythen
anti
cipat
ed
I
na:
"I
'm comi
ngMr
sMe"Ismi
l
edt
omy
sel
f
"
Ain'
thesuchaluckybast
ard"It
urnedand
l
ookedatJohnat
han
Me:
"Excuseme?
"
Johnat
han:
"I
tshouldbemethatmakey
ou
smil
eli
kethat
"Iglazedmyeyes
Me:"Lal
ela"(
Listen)"Stopcall
i
ngmeandt ext
ing
mewear enotinar elati
onshi
p.Yougoingto
causetroubl
ef ormeandmyf i
ancé!
!"
Johnat
han:
"Damny
ouar
esosexy
"Hesmi
rked
Me:"I
'
m ser i
ousJohnathanstopthisfucken
nonsense!"Hesli
pshel i
psonmi neanddev our
them hungrli
yIpushedhim andslappedhim
"Whatthef ucki
swr ongwit
hhuh!"
Johnathan:"
Whatwr ongwithmei sthatI'
m
crazi
l
yi nlovewit
hyoubaby "Hewal ked
towardsmeIst eppedbackunt i
lIcouldn'
tasI
wasbl ockedbythewall"
Ilovey ouwhatam I
supposet odoforyoutoseet hathuh?Iburi
ed
abodyf
oryouI
'
ddoi
tov
erandov
erj
ustf
or
youmyl
ove"
Me:"
Idi
dn'taskyoutodot hatJohnat
hani
twas
damnselfdefenseyoushouldn'
thavebur
ied
her
.Whoaskedy ouhuh?
"
Johnat
han:
"Don'
tyouthi
nkit
stoolatef orthat
.
Thi
sismurdernowit'
snolongerasel
fdef ense
si
ncesheisburi
eddaysago"Hesmi rked
Me:"Youbastardyoudi
ditonpur
posesothat
youcanhav elever
ageagai
nstme!Fucky
ou
Johnathan!"
Johnathan:
"IplantofuckyouMi ssZwane"He
grabbedmybut tandki
ssedmeIbi t
ehisli
ps.
"Mykindagirlr
oughandaggr essive"Hewiped
bloodonhislipwi t
hhisthumbandl ickedi
t.
Myphonestar
tedr
ingi
ngIl
ookedatt
hescr
een
i
twasmyfiancé
Me:
"LetmegoJohnat
han"
Johnat
han:
"Sayhi
tof
iancé"Hel
etl
oseofme
Me:"Fuseg!
"(Fucky
ou!
)Iwal
kedawayhe
spankedmybut t
Johnathan:"Whoooy ougotaf i
neassbaby !
"Nx
whatabast ard.Howcoul dIbesost upid!Yhhi
ii
i.
Myfiancéwasal readystandingnexttohi scar
hi
sarmscr ossedaroundhischest.Hesmi l
ed
asourey eslockedIbreathedoutloudlyand
mademywayt ohim.
Me:
"Heybaby
"Iki
ssedhi
m
I
na:
"Heyl
ovear
eyouokay
?"
Me:
"Yesbabywhy
?"
I
na:
"Youl
ookt
ense"
Me: "
Youknowwhenyourdaught
erwantfood
shedoesallsor
toft
hingst
ome"Iforceda
giggle
I
na:"Wel
linthatcaseletgof
eedmybaby"He
openedthedoorf ormeandstr
apsmeinthen
hewenttohissi de."
Whatar
emygirl
scravi
ng
for
"hestart
edt heengine
Me:"Aslongasit
'sgreasyandcheesy"My
phonebeepIlookedatitmyheartski
pped3
beats.I
twasapictur
eofmeandJohnat han
ki
ssingaccompaniedbyat ext
:MEETMEAT
MZHOTELROOM 205AT7PM TONI GHT.
I
na:
"Babyar
eyouokay
"Il
ookedathi
m
Me:
"Uhy
e..
ye.
.y
esbaby
"
Ina:
"Youl
ookli
keyouj
ustsawaghostl
etme
see"Hesaidgr
abbi
ngmyphone
Me:"
Nooo!"Isnatchedmyphonefrom hi
m.He
l
ookedatmewi thaquesti
oni
nglook."
Don'tbe
asurpr
isespoil
erMrSit
hol
e"Ibi
temylip
I
na:
"MmmhIhat
esur
pri
sesy
ouknowt
hat
"
Me:"Ipr
omi
seaft
ert
hisoney
ouwi
l
llov
ethem"I
l
ickedmyli
ps.
I
na:"
OhdamnMaZwane! "Hegroanedlooki
ngat
hi
sbulgeIgiggled.Het
ookmyhandandmade
mefeelit
"Hewanty ounow"Helookedatme
wi
thhalfclosedeyes
Me:"
Patientisav i
rt
ueli
tt
leJobe"Iki
ssedhi
s
l
ips"Letgobaby "Hegroanedanddroveoff
.
Wheew!t hatwassoclose.Konkewhathave
yougoty oursel
fint
o?!
[
06/01,14:
42]W:HappyBel
atedBi
rt
hdaySophy
Tshol
ofel
oDaniel
63
KHETHOKUHLE
•
"MissMhl ongoarey oualri
ghtIdismissedthe
studentsbutyouar estil
lhere"Il
ookedup
throughtheblurr
inessoft earsi
nmyey esIsaw
thatI'
mt heonlyonewhowasr emain."
Here"he
handedmeahandker chi
ef
Me:"ThankyouMrKhan"MrKhani smyl ectur
er
heisaf i
nerIndi
anguywi t
hhazeleyes,thick
appeti
singli
ps,smoothskin,
theoneIwoul dn'
t
mindtodat eonlyi
fhewasn'tski
nny .Il
iketobe
carr
iedt hewayheisskinnyhewillprobably
dr
opmeont hefl
oorsonahfam I
'm good.I
wi
pedmyt earswithhi
shandker
chiefi
tssmell
s
l
ovel
yjustl
ikethewayhesmells
MrKhan:
"Whati
swr
ong"
Me:"
I'
mfinesirj
ustoneoft
hoseday
s"Ihanded
hi
m backhishandker
chi
ef
MrKhan:
"Youcankeepi
t"
Me:"
Thankyou"Ismi
l
edfai
ntl
yandst oodup
t
henhangmybagonmyl eftarm before
makingmywayout.Hecal
ledmeIt urnedand
l
ookedathi
m
MrKhan:
"I
fyouneedt
otal
kI'
m her
eokay
"
Me:"ThankyouMrKhanIwi l
lkeepthatinmind"
Hesmi l
edi t
sfunnyit
'sonlynowInoticehe
haveagor geoussmile.Theonethatcanmake
yourheartbeonskippingmodei fyouweren'
t
mour ni
ngforthelov
eofory ourli
fe.
WhenIgoti
nmycarIbur
iedmyfaceonthe
st
eer
ingwheel
andcr
iedmylungsout
.Each
passingdayIfoundi thardt
obel
ievethatheis
real
lygone.Imisshi m somuchIlongforhi
s
warmt hembracet hatalway
smademef eel
safeandprotected.
Ilongforhissoftkissesthatalwaystakemet o
KitKat
&ChocolateCake'swor l
d,t
hewor ldwhere
onlymy sel
fandhi m exi
sted.Il
ongf orhi
stouch
thatmakemybodyt i
nglewithexcit
ement.I
l
ongt ohearhisv el
vetyetboldvoiceespeci
all
y
whenhesay s"
MyKi tKat".
Iremembert hedayhegav emet hatpetname
wewer eal
way soneachot her
st hroatbut
somehowthatpetnamef oundaspeci alpl
ace
i
nmyhear t
.It'
ssosadt hatIdidn'tspendthe
l
astdayswithhim maybeIwoul dhav ehad
cl
osure.
Every
dayI'
m star
ingatmyphonehopi ngIwill
recei
veacall
from hi
m.Ican'
tfathom outthe
painofl
osi
ngt heoneyoulov
e.Theonl yperson
yougaveyoursel
fto,
theonethatrockyour
worl
dupsidedownandy oufeell
ikeyouon
cl
oudnine,t
heonethatmakey ourhear
tpl
ay
ski
ppi
ng,theot
herhalfofyourheart
.
Myot herhal
fisnomor eandt hesadparti
sI
havetocontinuetol
iv
ewi thouthi
m.Our
pri
ncesswi l
lbether
emi nderofourlov
e.I
wipedmyt earsandbrushedmyt ummy
Me:"Iwill
trytogoonwi t
hli
fejustf
oryouand
yourbrothereventhoughit
shardtoli
vewit
hout
yourfather.Pl
easebearwithmeandst ayt
here
aslongasy oucan.Mommyl oveyou"
Icri
edhar derevery
timewhenItal
ktoherand
thi
nkhowI tcoul
dhav ebeeni
fherdaddyissti
l
l
here.Thisbabywassupposet obeour
happinessaf t
erthepainwewentthr
ough,it
wassupposet ohealourwoundsandbroken
hearts.
I
ntimesli
kethi
sIfeel
somuchr esent
mentfor
God.Hecouldhavemadeaplanmaant osave
mychocolat
ecake!Moshispowersarebeyond
ouri
magi
nat
ionhecoul
dhav
edonesomet
hing.
Istar
tedmycaranddr ovehomegaspi ng
betweensobs.Thatwasthel astlecturefort
he
day.Uponarr
ivalIwentstr
aightwi thouteven
greet
ingmypar ent
sandtwinssi sters.
Mom: "YeI
ssyy ouarepassingagr aveyard"I
turnedandwentt othem thatwhenIsawt hi
s
womanIl astsawf ourt
eeny ear
sago.She
hav en'
tchangeshest il
llookbeauti
fulwit
hher
bigey esandcar amelsoftskinbutsheismor e
slenderthenbef or
e.
Every
thingst art
edpl ay i
ngi nmymi ndlikea
mov i
eIr emember edt hedayshel eftand
promisedust ocomebackwi thl
oll
i
pops,howI
usetositont heverandawai ti
ngforhert o
comeback, thenamecal l
ingsandbeat i
ngswe
gotfr
om gr andmot her ,theday swesleptwi t
h
anempt ystomach, thedayIf oundoutThando
wasraped, thedayIt ooksomeone' slif
ef orher
andthedayIt ookanot hersomeone'slifefor
t
hiswomanonl
ytof
indoutshest
oleme.
Sherobbedmel ove,protect i
on,guidance,
educati
on,gr eatli
femypar entscouldhave
giv
enme.I nst eadoff eeli
ngsor r
yforherIf elt
hateIhadf orherbef oreIl earntthattheydid
somethingt oherst art
ingal loveragain.Ifelt
daddy'
sar mswr appingar oundmeIwas
shaki
ngt earsdropsf all
ingendl esslyonmyf ace
Dad:"I
tsokayli
tt
leangel
"Hewalkedwithmeto
thecouchandpul l
edmet ohi
slapIburi
edmy
headonhi sneckandcri
edharderIev
enhad
hiccups
Mom: "
Issy
"Ili
ft
edmyheadupf rom dad' sneck
andlookedather.Shewascar i
ngagl assof
watershehelpedmedrinkthewat er."Calm
downokay "Shestr
okemybackunt i
l Icalmed
down.Shet henpl
acedtheglassont hegl ass
tabl
eandsatdownnextt odaddy .
Mom:"Makhosazanathi
sisyourel
destdaugt
er
Khet
hokuhl
e"Myf akemotherl
ookedatme
bl
ank
Si
hle:
"Orshoul
dwesayt
hedaught
ery
oust
ole"
Mom gav
eSi
hleal
ookwhor
oll
edherey
es
Makhosazana:
"Comeher
emychi
l
d"
MamacouldseethatIwasabouttorefuseshe
gavemeasweetpleadi
ngsmi l
esoIwentt osi
t
nextt
ohershecuppedmyf aceandclosedher
eyest
henopenedthem af
terawhil
e
Makhosazana:
"Icantr
ememberherwhati
s
happeni
ngtome"shest ar
tedcr
ying
Si
hle:
"Letmehel
pyoubri
ngbackyourmemory.
Onthe11ofOctober24y
earsagoyoust
olea
babydontyour
emember?"
Mom:
"Si
hlemaan!
"
Sihl
e:"
Shei
sfaki
ngitMamashedor
ememberI
canseeiti
nhereyes"
Myf
akemot
hercr
iedhar
dert
henbef
ore
"
Youseesheknows!
"
Mom:
"Hermemor
ywascl
eanedSqal
esi
hle!
"
Si
hle:"
Mamadontbest
upi
dthi
swomani
s
pl
ayinggameswi
thus!
"
Mom: "
Idontcar
eifyouar
eawifeandyouhav
e
achil
dy ouar
estil
lmychi
ldngi
zokny
athel
a
yezwa!
"
Si
hlehuf
fed
Si
hle:
"Sor
ry"
Mom:
"Sor
rynj
a?"
Si
hle:
"Sor
ryMama"
Mom:
"Dontcr
ysisIwi
l
lhel
pyougety
our
memor
yback."
Makhosazana:"
Im sor
ryi
fIdidsomet
hing
wr
ongIcantr ememberanything"
Me:"I
fyoudidsomethi
ngwrong?Wrongis
underst
atementwordwoman!Youdest
royed
mylif
eIhateyou!!
"
Mom:
"I
ssyt
hisi
snott
her
ightt
imef
ort
haty
ou
ar
econf
usi
ngher
"
Me:
"Idontgi
veaf
uckaboutt
hat
!"
Dad:"Mindy ourtoneI ssy
!"Istoodupf r
om his
l
apandr anupst airs.Ithrewmy sel
fonmybed
andcr i
ed.NowIwi shPKi shere.Heknewhow
tomakemef eel better.Tbosedeci dedt owent
bit
chyonmeImeant hedudei srejecti
ngmy
call
s.Idontknowwhathav eIdonet ohim.I t
s
toomuchf oroneper son.If el
tmybedsi nki
ng
onbot hsides.Isatupst raightandl ookedat
myt winssisters.Damnt heyr eall
ylookt he
same.
Kuhl
e:"
Im sor
rybabesi
s"Shepul
l
edmet
oher
ar
ms
Me:"I
mt ir
edofpainafterpai
n.Thatwoman
downt hereremindmeofev er
ythi
ngIwent
thr
ought hatIshoul
dnthavehadshenotst
ole
me"
Si
hle:
"Wor
seshei
spl
ayi
ngamensi
agamenx
"
Kuhl
e:"
Twi
nni
eyouar
enotsur
eaboutt
hat
."
Sihl
e:"
Onl
yaf
ool
wontseet
hatshei
spl
ayi
ng
us"
Kuhl
e:"
Im notaf
ool
!"
Si
hle:
"Youar
e!"
Kuhl
e:"
Fucky
ou!
"
Si
hle:
"Fucky
out
oo!
"
Kuhl
e:"
Iwi
l
lbi
tchsl
apy
ounow!
"
Sihl
e:"
Heeey ouwanttopushoutt
hatbabyi
n
yourtummybef or
etimeneh"Kuhl
eletgoofme
andraisedherhandtosl
apSihl
e
Me:
"Guy
sst
opi
t!
"Ihel
dKuhl
e'
shand
Kuhle:
" I
tsherI
ssyjustbecausewedontsee
thatyourmom isplayingusshecallusf
ool
s
whatf uckr
yshiti
sthat!Mom saidhermemory
wascl eaned"
Me:"
There'
snoneedtofi
ghtaboutt
hiscomeon
youareact
ingl
i
kekidsnow.Nooneisaf ool
thefooli
sthatwomandownst
air
sapol
ogi
set
o
eachother"
Theyl
ookedatmeandbur
sti
ntol
aught
er
Si
hle:
"Lookatheract
ingmom onus"
Kuhl
e:"
Foramomentt hereIt
houghtZesuli
we
j
ustwalkedin"Theyl
aughedagai
nmxm t hese
twoarecrazy
Si
hle:
"Mom hav
espokent
winni
e"
Kuhl
e:"
Yougof
ir
sty
ouar
etheonewhocal
l
ed
meaf ool
"
Si
hle:
"Youswor
eatmef
ir
st"
Kuhl
e:"
Wewi
l
lgoatt
hesamet
imet
hen"
"I
m sor
ryt
winni
e"Theybot
hsai
dli
kepr
eschool
ki
ds
Si
hle:
"Ar
eyouhappynowmom"
Me:"Mxmy a'
llt
hinkI
m Ndoni
yamanzi
neh.
"
Theylaughed."
Whereismysonandmylit
tl
e
si
ster?"
Si
hle:
"Mj
tookt
hem outwi
thSbani
set
hu.
"
Me:
"Okaynowt
alkt
ous"
Shegav emeaconf usedl
ook.Wit
hint
hisshor
t
spaceoftimeIhavestudi
edeachaneveryone
ofthem andri
ghtnowIcantell
thatSi
hlei
snot
hersel
f
"
Ohcomeonwhati
sgoi
ngon"
Kuhl
e:"
Maybeshewi
ll
tel
lyouIhav
ebeen
aski
ngthever
ysamequest
ion"
Shesi
ghedheav
il
y
Si
hle:
"If
oundoutmyhusbandhav
easonand
hewaskeepingt
hatf
rom meunti
lIf
oll
owed
hi
m"
Me:
"Howol
dist
heson?
"
Si
hle:
"Ol
dasme24or25y
ear
s"
Kuhle:
"Thenwhydoyouhaveaprobl
em wi
th
thatmositsnotl
i
kehecheated"
Si
hle:
"I
tst
hewayhewasconci
evedt
hat
unset
tl
eme"
Me:"
Im sur
eyouarenotexpect
ingustoaskyou
howwasheconcievedri
ght"Theylaughed
Sihl
e:"
Myhusbandandhi
stwofri
endsgang
rapedhismom.Thetwofr
iendgotar
rest
edand
heranaway"
Me:
"Yhoo"
Kuhl
e:"
Woaht
hat
..
.Idontknow"
Sihle:
"Iknowheywhathurtmethemosti
sthat
hedi dnttr
ustmeenoughashiswif
etoshar
e
thiswithmebef or
e.Heonlyt
oldmethi
scoz
hewasf orcedt
odoso"
Me:"
Ihearyousi
sbutsomethi
ngsar
ebetter
l
eftunsai
dcozoncetheyar
eoutt
heycause
moredamagethengood"
Si
hle:
"Yousay
inghewasr
ightf
orkeepi
ngt
his
fr
om me"
Me:
"YesandNo."
Si
hle:
"I
m hi
swi
feI
ssyheshoul
dtr
ustme."
Kuhl
e:"
Sot
heguywantt
oav
enghi
smama?
"
Sihl
e:"
Not heguydoesntknowwhatt
ranspi
red.
Thisisjustt
oomucht otakei
nmyhusbandi sa
rapi
st"
Me:"
It
shappeny
ear
sagosi
sIm sur
ehei
snot
pr
oudofthat
"
Sihle:
"Tr
uebuti
tsnoteasyli
kethatI
ssy
.Ima
womanIcani maginethepai
nthatwomanwent
throughandmyhusbandisthecause"
Kuhl
e:"
Vini
sagreatmanthewayhetr
eatyou,
andhi
schil
drenhowcanhedothatmara?
"
Sihke:"
Hesayhewasy ounganddr unktonoti
ce
thatthegirlwasunderi
nfluenceofdrugs.One
ofhisfriendhookthem upwi t
hthegirl
"
Me:"Tomeitssoundli
kehewastri
ckedbyhi
s
fr
iends.Hewasdrunkhewasn'
tthi
nking
st
raight"
Kuhl
e:"
Tjoi
m sor
ryt
winni
eIf
eel
youhey
"
Me:
"Soy
ouar
eleav
inghi
m"
Si
hle:
"Idontknow"
Me:"Hai
boSi
hlewhatdoy
oumeany
oudont
know"
Sihl
e:"
Heisabloodyr
apistI
ssy!my
grandmotherandmyli
ttl
ebrot
herhav
escar
sof
thathorr
ibl
eencount
er."
Me:"If eelyoubutcomeont hi
sisy ourhusband
wet alkingaboutt hemany oupledgebef ore
Godt ol ovehim andst ickwithhimf orbett
erfor
worse.Dontl etthepast, apastIm sureheis
notpr oudoft odest royy ourmarri
age.He
doesntneedy ouwal kingawayf rom him now.
Hesi nnedy esifGodf orgi
veswhoar ewenott o
for
giv e.Wear eall humanwef i
ndour sel
vesin
unreser vablesituat i
onsbutl if
est i
l
l goeson."
Sihl
e:"
IdontknowI
ssyIr
eal
l
ydontknow.He
shouldhavetol
dme"
Me:
"I
m sur
ehewasscar
edofwhaty
ouar
e
doingnowwhichisleavi
nghi
m.Woul
dntyou
doanythi
ngtoprot
ectandsavet
hemost
preci
ousthi
ngyouvalue?
"
Si
hle:
"Butl
yi
ng.
..
."
Me:
"Hedi
dntl
i
ehewi
thel
dthepastf
rom y
ou"
Kuhl
e:"
Im af
rai
dIssyi
sri
ghtt
winni
e."
Si
hle:
"Thi
sist
oomuch"
Kuhle:
"Whatdowanthi
mtodof
ory
out
o
for
givehi
m"
Si
hle:
"Maybei
twoul
dhavebeenbetteri
fhe
di
dntranawayandser
vedhi
ssentence!
"
Me:"
Whoknowsmay bey
ouwoul
dnthav
emet
hi
mi fhewentt
ojai
l
"
Kuhl
e:"
Youwanthi
mtogot
ojai
l
?"
Si
hle:"Ofcour
senotbutheshoul
dhavebeen
punished.Hemolest
eda16y earol
dandwalk
fr
eej ustl
iket
hat
."
Me:
"Iheary
oubutheneedy
ougot
oyour
husnabdsi
s.Lov
ehi
m wi
thhi
sfl
aws"
Si
hle:
"Asi
fyoul
ovedPhakamani
wit
hhi
sfl
aws"
Me:
"Thatal
owbl
ow"
Sihl
e:"
Im sor
ryI
tjustt
hat
..
."shebur
stint
o
tear
s.Ipull
edhertomychestandst
rokedher
back
Me:
"Aski
es"Shecalmeddownaft
erawhile
"
Let
sgooutt oni
ghtwhatdoyousaygi
rl
s"
Kuhl
e:"
Thepar
ent
swon'
tappr
ovewear
e
pr
egnantr
emember"
Me:"
Whowi l
ltel
lthem.Wehavecri
edalotwe
needanexci
ti
ngv ibej
ustt
ofor
getabout
ever
ythi
ngandenjoygoodmusicanddri
nks"
Sihl
e:"
Soundli
keapl
anbutnoal
cohol
dri
nksf
or
youtworight
"
Me:"
Twoshot
swon'
thur
tri
ghtsi
s"Inudged
Kuhl
e
Kuhl
e:"
Forsur
e"
Si
hle:
"Wear
enotgoi
ngke"
Me:
"Wear
eki
ddi
nghawu!
"
"I
fyouwanttogooutatnightpl
easel
eav
emy
grandchi
l
drenbehi
nd"ThatwasMama
Me:
"JesusMamaeav
esdr
oppi
ngi
srude"
Mom:"
Ihopey outwohear dme.WenaSihl
e
howcanyouencour agetheset
wotogooutat
ni
ghti
ntheircondi
tion.Theyar
epr
egnantthey
needt
osleepandr est"
Me:
"ButMom.
..
"
Mom:"
Ify
ouwantt ogoIssygomychildbut
l
eavemygranddaught
erbehind"Godt
his
woman!"
Tboseishereforyou"
Me:"
Lethi
mi n"TbosewalkedinifIwasn'tmad
athi
mI'dsayhelookedhotinhisblackjean,
whit
evneckmuscl et-
shi
rtandwhi t
e
ti
mberl
and.Helethisl
ockslose.
Tbose:
"Ladi
es"
Us:
"Hel
l
o"
Tbose:
"Ar
eyoual
lokay
"
Twi
ns:
"Wear
efi
ne"
Thewassi
l
enceaf
tert
hat
Kuhl
e:"
Ihav
eaphonecal
ltomake"
Sihl
e:"
Met oo"Theybothgotupfr
om mybed
andshuff
ledout.Tbosecamet osi
tnextt
ome.
Inoti
cedthathechangedhisfr
agranceImust
sayhesmel l
slovel
ythenbefor
e.
Tbose:
"Howar
eyouhol
dingup"
Me:
"Mx
m"
Tbose:
"IguessIdeser
vet
hatI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"WhyTbosewhathav
eIdonet
oyou?
"
Tbose:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Me:"Ineededyoubutyouwer enotther
e!I
call
edyoubutyoukeptreject
ingmycalls.You
promisedtobealway
sher ewhenIneedy ou
butnowi t
'sl
ookli
kengikubangel
aiscef
e!"(I
'm
anui
sance!
)
Tbose:
"That
'snott
rueI
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"Pl
easej
ustl
eav
ecozyounotev
ent
ell
i
ng
mewhathav
eIdonetoy
ou!"
Tbose:
"Kat
..
"
Me:
"Leav
e!"
Tbose:"I
'
mi nlovewithyoudammi t
!!
"hepushed
backhisl ockswithhishandandl ookedatme" I
l
ov eyouKatev er
ysingledaymyl oveforyou
growIt r
iedt osuppressthef eeli
ngsIhaveyou
forall
thistimeunt i
lIcouldn'tanymore.Iknow
i
twasst upi dofmei nsteadoft el
li
ngy outhe
trut
hIchoset ostayawayf rom you."
OkayIdi
dn'
texpectt
hatImeanl
i
kehuh?
Me:"Soyoutel
li
ngmeal lt
histi
meyouhave
beeninlovewit
hme? "Thatcameoutas
whisperduetoshock.
Tbose:
"Fr
om thefi
rstdayIl
aidmyeyesony our
beaut
if
ulsel
f.Iwantedustoknoweachother
fi
rstbeforeIconfessmyfeeli
ngsli
tt
ledi
dI
knowt hatPKwi l
lcomealongbeforeweeven
gottoknoweachot hert
hatwell
.Youwere
i
nterestedinhim asmuchashedi dsoIback
off.Iwantedyout obehappyKatandPKwas
yourhappiness"
Me:"Wow"Nowi tmakesensethewayhei
s
al
way sherewhenIneedhim.Theguywi
ll
l
it
erall
ykil
lthewhol
eworldforme.
Tbose:"Iknowitcomesasashockbuti t
'str
ue.
Im sorr
yf ormakingyoufeell
i
keanui sanceand
notbeingt her
ewheny ouneededme.Icoul dn't
controlmy sel
fanymoreyourpresencemake
mykneesweakandmyhear ttobeatharderlike
ri
ghtnow"
Me:"Idon'
tknowwhatt
osayTbose.Wowy ou
keptyourfeel
i
ngsf
rom meforal
most3years"
Tbose:"
Yourhappi
nessi
smyprior
it
y.Idon't
expectyoutol
ovemebackIknowy ourheart
belongtoPKIwasjustt
ell
i
ngyouwhyIhav e
beendoi
ngwhatIhav
ebeendoi
ng"
Me:
"TboseI
..
."
Tbose:"Ssh"Hepr essedhi sfi
ngeronmyl ips
west aredateachot herdeepi ntot heey esmy
heartwasbeat ingli
keadr um.Hebr ushedmy
l
ipswi t
hhi sthumbIswal l
owedsal iv
ahei nched
closerandbr ushedhislipsagainstmi net hen
hepar t
edmyl i
pswi t
hhi stounge.Ir esistedat
fi
rstuntilIgaveinweki ssedslowl yanddeepl y
hishandssqueezi ngmybr east.Theki ss
deepenedasourbr eathingacceler atedandhi m
positi
oninghimselfbetweenmyt highs.If elthis
palmsbr ushingonmyt highssinceIwas
wear i
ngadr ess.Hekissedhi swayt omyneck
suckinghar donitImoanedsof tl
y .Het ookof f
mydr essandIhel pedhi m undress.I mageof
PKf l
ashedi nmyey es.
Me:
"Nopl
easest
opTbose"
Tbose:
"Sssh"Hepushedinhi
sdickIscr
eamed
heshutmeupwi thakissi
ngandstar
ted
mov
ingsl
owl
y
Me:"Tbosewecan' tdothisinmypar ents
house"Hedeepenedhi st hrust"Tboooohhh"I
moaned" StopthisnowTbose! "Hepulledout
"Getdressedandgopl ease"Hegotupandget
dressedthenkissedmyl ipsbef or
egoi ngout
.
OhGodwhatj usthappened" Ahhhhhh"I
screamedi nf
rustrat
ionthrowingt hepill
ows
acrossthebedroom.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Afterweateinhisfavouri
terestaur
antwedr ov
e
home.Theboy swer ewatchingcartoons,
Cassiewasasleep.Inajoi
nedt heboyswhileI
wentt ocheckonCassie.Ifoundherawake
stari
ngintospace.Isatonherbedandl ooked
ather
Me:
"Heypr
incess"
Cassi
e:"
Hel
l
oAunt
y"
Me:"Comehere"shegotupIplacedheronmy
t
highs"Youknowy oucantal
ktomer ight
"
Cassi
e:"
Yes"
Me:
"Any
thi
ngr
ight
?"
Cassi
e:"
YesIknowaunt
y"
Me:
"Sot
ell
aunt
ywhat
'
sbot
her
ingy
ou"
Cassi
e:"
Dadsai
dmom isinheav ensocanIcall
youmommy "Ismi
l
ed.Ilov
emyal lmychil
dren
butwit
hCassi
eIwanttoprotecthermoreshe
i
sagirlandt
heworl
dismor ecruelongir
lsthen
boys
Me:
"Yessweat
hear
t"
Cassi
e:"
Arey
ousur
e"Ichuckl
ed
Me:
"YesI
'
m sur
eCassi
e"
Shesmi
l
edbr
ight
ly
Cassi
e:"
Whataboutuncl
ecanIcal
lhi
m daddy
"
Me:"Ofcour
sesweet
hear
t"Sheki
ssedmy
cheek
Cassi
e:"
Ilov
eyoumommy
"
Me:"
Ilovedyoutoomydar l
i
ng"hertummy
madef unnynoi
seshegiggl
edhidingherf
ace
onmyneck" Someoneishungry"Iti
ckl
edher
shegiggledwri
ggl
ingher
self
."Cassi
e"
Cassi
e:"
Mommy
"
Me:
"Don'
tyoumi
ssdaddy
?"Sheshookherhead
"
Why?"
Cassi
e:"
Hehat
eme"
Me:
"Whydoy
ousayt
hat
?"
Cassi
e:"
Mynannysai
dthat
"Isi
ghed
Me:"MeandUncl eImeandaddyl ovey ouokay.
Wewi l
lalwaysbeherefory ounomat terwhat"
Shenodded" CanIgetmyki ss"Shepout edher
ti
nyli
psandki ssedmine."Let
'sgofeedy ou"I
puthershoesonandpi ckedherupt henwent
totheki
tchen.Tsanewascooki ngdinner"Li
ttl
e
pr
incessi
shungr
y"
Tsane:
"Shedi
dn'
teatherl
unchl
etmewar
mit
"
Me:"
OkayIwil
lbeint
helounge"Iwalkedinthe
l
oungeandsatdownplaci
ngheronmyl aps.
I
naincedcl
oserandki
ssedCassie'
sforehead
I
na:
"Hel
l
oangel
"
Cassi
e:"
Hel
lodaddy"asweetsmil
ecrepton
I
na'sf
ace.TsanecamewithCassi
e'sfood
Me:
"Thanky
ou"
Sbonga:"
I'
m al
sohungr
yMama"Sbongaisli
ke
thatwhenheseessomeoneeat
inghei
salso
hungry
.
Khwezi
:"
Met oo"Thenthi
sonel
i
ket
ocopy
Sbongawit
hev er
ythi
ng.
Tsane:
"Iwi
l
lmakef
oodf
ory
ouboy
s"
Them:"ThankyouAunt
yTsane"Istart
ed
feedi
ng.Cassi
easTsanedisappearedtothe
kit
chen.Myphonebeeped.Itooki
tandl ooked
att
hemassage:DON'
TKEEPMEWAI TI
NG.I
si
ghedheav
il
y.
Thismanr
eal
lygotmewher
ehe
wanted.
Me:
"Cany
ouf
eedherbabyIhav
eacal
lto
make"
Ina:"
Sure..comeangel"Hetookherandher
food.Istoodupandwentt othest
udyroom.I
call
eddaddyhi sphonesentmestrai
ghtt
o
voicemail.Itr
iedsever
alti
messtil
l
.Ideci
dedt
o
callSihl
e
Si
hle:
"Pr
incess"
Me:
"Heymom howar
eyou"
Si
hle:
"I
'
m okaymychi
l
dhowar
eyou"
Me:"Uhm al
sofi
ne.Iwastry
ingt
ocal
lyour
husbandbutIcan'
treachhi
m"
Sihl
e:"
I'
m athomemychi
l
dIdon'
tknowwhy
youcan'tr
eachhi
m"
Me:
"I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?"
Sihl
e:"
Ohy esev
ery
thi
ngi
sncakeepont
ryi
ng
youwillr
eachhim.
"
Me:
"Okayby
e"
Sihl
e:"
Bye"Ihungupcalleddaddyagai
n.Ineed
hi
mt osortJohnathanformet hi
sguyi
son
anotherl
evelnow.Ideci
dedtogot ohi
m soI
wenttothelounge
Me:
"Daddyi
scal
l
ingmeIwi
l
lbebacknow"
I
na:
"Letmedr
ivey
ou"
Me:
"St
aywi
tht
heki
dsl
oveIwon'
tbel
ong"
Iki
ssedhislipsthent
ookt
hecarkey
sand
walkedout.Ihoppedi
nmycaranddr
ovet
o
dad'shouse.
Ipr
essedt
hei
nter
com butnoonewasav
ail
abl
e.
Itr
iedtocallhi
m butst
il
lreciev
edthesame
r
esult
.Igroanedinfr
ust
rationandlookedatthe
t
ime.6:45pm.Iburi
edmyheadont hesteer
ing
wheelandcriedmyeyeball
sout .
There'
stoomuchatst akeheremyf r
eedom and
mymar r
iagethathaven'tevenstart
ed.Iwiped
myt ear
saf t
ermycr yingsessionIsmsedLwazi :
Ift
hisbet helastyouhearf r
om mequest ion
JonathanMnguni wear emeetingatMZHot el.I
swit
chedof fmyphoneknowi ngmyf r
iendshe
wil
laskquest ionsI'
m notpreparedtoanswer.
Istar
tedthecaranddrov
et oMZhotel
.Iwent
totheroom hesaidwewill
meetinand
knocked.Heopenedthedoorandsmil
ed
Johnat
han:
"OhIwasabouttocall
youcomein
baby"Hemadeaspacef ormetowalkedi
n.I
mademywayi nhethencloset
hedoor.
Me:
"Whyhav
eyoucal
l
edmeher
e"
Johnat
han:
"Imi
ssy
ou"Heki
ssedmycheek
Me:
"Jonathanwhatdoyouwantf
rom mehuh
whyareyoutor
mentingme"Tear
sfallonmy
f
ace
Jonat
han:
"Ohbabedon'
tcr
yyouar
ehur
ti
ngme
comeandsitdown.Ihavej
uicef
oryouand
whiskeyf
orme"Hehel dmywaist
Me:"I
'
m notsi
tt
ingdownIwanty
out
ell
mewhy
am Iher
e"
Jonat
han:"
YouknowIl
ovey
ouKonkeIwant
youtolov
emeback"
Me:"
I'
mtakenJohnat
hanyouseet
hisr
ingI
'
m
someone'
sfi
ancéepl
easest
opthi
s"
Jonathan:
"I
'm her
enowsohemustbackoff
andallowmet otakecar
eofy
ou"Hebrushed
myf ace
Me:
"Idon'
tl
ovey
ouokayst
opt
his"
Jonathan:"
I'
m cari
ngy ourlif
ewithmyhand
Konke.Yourfreedom andt hatstupi
dmar r
iage
ofyoursdependonme.Icanseet heheadli
nes:
KuhlekonkeZwanet hebestact r
essgolden
hornwinnerwasar restedforthemurderofher
fi
ancé'sbabymamai nteresti
nghey"
Me:
"Youwoul
dn'
tdar
eyouar
etheonewho
bur
iedher
.IfIgodowny
ougodownt
oo!
"
Helaughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughedIal
mostsl
apped
hi
m
Jonat
han:"
Lovemybrot
herisaCaptainI'
m sure
hewouldn'
twanthi
sli
tt
lebr
othert
or otinj
ail
.
Wewillpi
nthi
stoget
heral
lonyou"Islapped
hi
m hard
Me:
"Fucky
ou!
"
Jonat han:"Il
ovey out oo"HekissedmeI
pushedhi m buthedi dn'tgi
veup" Idon'tt
hink
youwantt or ai
sey ourbabyi njail
."Hesaid
pull
ingmecl oset ohim Ipushedhi m"The
momentt hatwitchofy ourson'sgr andmother
hearabouty ourarrestshewi ll
takeSbongaand
poisonhi m againsty ou.Hewi l
l growup
knowi ngy ouasmur derer.Yourf i
ancéwil
lwant
nothingt odowi thy oubyt hatti
me.Youki ll
ed
themot herofhischi l
d"
Me:"Shutup!Shutt
hefuckup!
"Isl
appedhi
s
chestoverandovercr
ying
Jonat
han:
"Stopfi
ght
ingandenj
oyt
hismoment
.
Letmeworshipy
ourbody"
.
"Ohfuck!!y
ouarefucki
nggood!
"Hegrowled
andcoll
apsedontopofmepanting"
Ilov
ey ou
baby
"
[
06/
01,
14:
42]W:
★ SophyTshol
ofel
oDani
el★
64
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Aft
ert hef
olkswenttosl
eepwemanagedt o
sneakout.WhenIsayweImeanmy sel
fof
course,Si
hle,
KuhleandThando.Thev i
bewas
goodmusi ctooanditwaspackedjustwhatI
needed.Wewer eattheVI
Psectionhavingour
dri
nks.KuhleandIhadnonalcoholdri
nks.
Thando:
"Iwannagodancewhoknowsmay
beI
wil
lfi
ndmyDaddyKinglooki
ngforMommy
Queen"Shewashell
adrunknow
Me:
"Ohy
eah"
Thando:
"Oopsj
ustki
ddi
ngsi
s"
Sihl
e:"
Lett
hechi
ldhavesomefunIssyImean
sheisgonnabe19yearsnextmonth.
"
Me: "I
tsnouseoftell
i
ngherother
wiseshe
alreadystar
teddat
ingevenwhenItol
dhernot
tot r
ustmey ouwontgonnahearmesay i
nga
singlewordaboutherst
ayingawayfr
om boy
s"
Thando:
"Yousoundl
i
key
ouar
egi
vi
nguponme
si
s"
Me:"
Whoam It
otel
lyout
ost
ayawayf
rom
boy
s"
Thando:
"Youar
emyol
dersi
ster
"
Me:"
Nahthelastthi
ngIwanti
susjudgi
ngeach
ot
herit
'sbet
teryoudoyouIwil
ldome"
Si
hle:
"AhhI
ssydon'
tbel
i
ket
hatt
ue"
Me:"
It
sagoodt
hingMakhosazanaisbackshe
i
stheonewhohavear
ighttotel
lyouthatnot
met
hehor
nysl
ut"
Kuhl
e:"
ComeonI ssyIt
houghtwear
eher
eto
enj
oyoursel
ves"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryt
ospoi
lthev
ibe"
Thando:
"Si
sI'
m sor
ry.
..
"
Me: "
Holditr
ightther
eThandothatissomet hi
ng
youshouldhav edoneamont hago.Letjust
enjoythi
snightneh.Don'
tgetmewr ongI m not
madaty ou"Clubcontrol
l
astart
edplayingat
thatmomentIwi shedIwasn'
tpregnant.
Amasi mbaebengzowenzay eerr
r.
Si
hle:
"Damnl
ookatt
hatguy
"Weal
ll
ookedup
Me:
"Per
iper
i"
Kuhl
e:"
Thet
hel
elababa"
Sihl
e:"
Thi
sonei
sgoi
ngt
otakecar
eofme
toni
ght"
Kuhl
e:"
YouwantVi
ntomassacr
ethatguy
"
Si
hle:
"Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lhi
m Ican'
treach
hi
mI '
m st
art
ingt
ogetwor
ri
ednow.Whati
fhe
handedhi
mself"
Me:
"Di
dhesayhewi
l
l?"
Si
hle:
"Yes"
Me:
"Yhoo"
Si
hle:
"Mybabyi
stoohandsomef
orj
ail
baki
thi
"
Me:
"Wenaf
uthi
MrsSent
ence"Wel
aughed
Si
hle:
"Ahhphel
akuy
azwel
a"
Me:"
NcooIguesst
hatmeanst
omor
rowy
ouar
e
goi
ngbacktohim"
Si
hle:
"Whaty
ousai
dist
ruesoy
eah.Thanky
ou
si
s"
Me:
"Iknowhey "
'Ipatmyshouldermaki
ngt
hem
t
olaugh.Inot
icedthatThandowasnowquiet
.
Itwasn'
tmyi nt
enti
ontospoilt
hemood.The
thi
ngisThandoneversaidsor
ryabout
ever
ythi
ngthathappened.Onethi
ngIhave
noti
cedist
hateveryt
imewhenwef i
ghtI
'
mt he
onewhoal waysaskf orforgi
venessfrom her
unti
lshedot hesame.Thi sti
meIchoset oshut
mymout handshedi dt hesamet oo.Iblameno
onefort helossofmyt wi nsbutthesit
uation
couldhav ebeenpr ev
ent edhadsheshuther
mout h.Onewr ongmov eIdor uballthegood
thi
ngsIhav eev erdone.
IknowI'
m notperf
ecthenceInolongerthi
nk
I'
mt her
ightper
sontotel
lherhowtoliveherl
if
e.
Si
hle:
"Yourf
ri
endi
syummybabysi
s"Tbose
madehiswaytous
Kuhl
e:"
Hel
l
ahot
"
Tbose:
"Ladi
es"
Wegr
eet
edhi
m back
Me:
"Whoar
eyouwi
th?
"
Tbose:
"Al
oneact
ual
l
yIneededt
ogetsl
oshed"
Sihl
e:"
Joinusthen"Hejoineduswetalked
topi
csshifti
ngaft
ertheother.I
twasreall
yfun
shamej ustwhatIneededuntil
Tboseasked
Kuhlet odancewi t
hhi m..
MymoodchangedI
don'tknowwhyt heywer esoclosetoeach
otherTbosewhi speringinherearandshewill
gi
ggl e.Iexcusedmy selfandwentt ot
hedunny
whenIcamebackThandowasal one.
Me:
"Wher
e'sev
ery
one?
"
Thando:
"Si
hlewentout
sidetocall
herhusband
TboseandKuhleweredanci
ngher eIdon'
t
knowwheredidtheydi
sappearedto.
"
Me:
"Okay
"
Thando:
"I
'm sor
rysi
sKat
..
."
Me:"
Nodon'tThandol
etf
orgetabouti
tokay
"
Si
hleemer
ged
Si
hle:
"Ican'
treachhi
m.Idon'
tfeel
mysel
fnow
l
et'
sgowher e'sKuhl
e?"
Me:
"Shedi
sappear
edwi
thTbose"
Sihl
e:"
Letmecallher
"Shecal
l
edherbutshe
wasn'tanswer
inghercal
l
swedecidedtol
eave
sheisoldshewill
seehowwil
lshegethome.
Wet
ipt
oedandwentt
osl
eep.
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
Ihar
dlysl
eptmymi
ndwaswi
thKuhl
eand
Tbose.
Ihavetwolect
uresonl
ytoday.Iwokeupvery
hungryIsl
i
doutofbedandwentdownst ai
rsto
makesomet hi
ngtoeat.Ipumpedint
oKuhleti
p
toei
ng.
Me:
"Uny
ony
obauphumaphi
?"
Kuhl
e:"
Uhm whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eit
s5i
nthe
morni
ng"
Me:
"Tomakefoodwher
edi
dyoudi
sappear
ed
t
olastni
ght"
Kuhl
e:"
Iwi
ll
seey
ousi
sIneedt
osl
eep"She
madeherway
Me:"
Didyousl
eepwi
thhi
m?"Shet
urnedand
l
ookedatme
Kuhl
e:"
What
?"Herneckwascov
eredwi
thl
ove
bi
tes.If
eltashar
ppai
nofj
eal
ousy
.
Me:
"Nev
ermi
nd"Shet
urnedandwal
kedaway
.
Whyishedoingt
his?Whydidheconf esshi
s
feel
i
ngformethengofuckmysi ster
!Mxm I
don'
tevenknowwhyam Ijeal
ouscozIknowI
don'
tlovehi
mthatwayoram I?Sigh!
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Ifr
eedmy
sel
ffr
om hi
sarmshehel
dmet
ight
er
"Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?"
Me:"
Ihav
etogohomeJonat
han"Het
urnedme
ar
oundandki
ssedme
Johnat
han:
"Ican'
tgetenoughofy
ou"
Hegotontopofmeandsl ippedintome.
"Oh
womany oudri
vemecr azy
"Hepl ungedi
ntome
deepgrunt
inghi
ssweatdroppingonmybody
andfaceasheincr
easedthespeedofhis
t
hrust
s.
Mybodybet ray
edmeIr eachedmyor gasm he
fol
lowedaf terme."Damnwoman! "Hejumped
downf r
om mepant i
ng.Isl
idoutofbedandgot
dressed"Idon'twantyoutogomybaby "Mxm I
saidnothingwhyi sheacti
ngli
keeverythi
ngis
normal.Ifini
shedgetti
ngdressandmademy
wayout .Hecalledoutforme
Jonathan: "
Nogoodby eki ssnyana"Iopened
thedoort otal
l
yignori
nghi m" Don'
tmakeme
angryKonke!Comeandki ssmenow! "I
breat
hedoutl oudlyclosingmyey esthenopen
them beforeturni
ngar ound.Iwenttohim and
benttoreachhi sl
ipsashewasseat edont he
bedandki ssedhim" Iwillcal
lyouneh"
Me:
"Nodon'
tdot
hatmyf
iancé.
..
"
Jonathan:"Idon'
tgivearatassaboutthatBen
10ofy ours.DrivesafeIll
oveyou"Inoddedand
wentout .Iwalkedfastasmylegscouldcarry
met helastthingIwantedistomeetmyi n-l
aws
her
e.
Igoti
nmycaranddr ovehome.Myhear
twas
poundi
nghardwanti
ngtocomeoutofmy
mouth.Ibr
eat
houtloudlyandwal
kedi
n.If
ound
them i
nthedi
ningar
ea.
I
na:"
Iwasgetti
ngwor
ri
edthankGodyouare
backmylov
e"Hecamet omeandkissedmy
l
ips.
"Si
tIwi
lldi
shupf
oryou"
Me:"
I'
mfeel
inghotbabyl
etmet
akeacol
d
qui
ckshower"
Ina:
"Okaysthandwasami .
"Ikissedhischeek
andwentupst ai
rs.
Iunclothedandshuf f
ledt
o
thebat hr
oom whereItookal ongassshower
scrubbingmybodyast hewat erwashawaymy
tears.Ihaveneverfel
tsodi r
tyliket
hisinmylif
e.
HowdidIgether
e.Isatdownandcr
iedmy
l
ungsout
.Myf i
ancéwalkedi
nawhil
elat
er.
I
na:"
Babear
eyoust
il
lokayi
t'
shav
ebeent
wo
hour
snow"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"Isai
dwi
thahoar
sev
oice.
I
na:
"Letmejoi
nyou"Heundr
essandj
oinme.
"
Babeareyousur
eareyouokay
?"
Me:"
I'
mfi
nebaby"Iwr
appedmyarmsaround
hi
sneckandki
ssedhi
m.Guil
tywaseat
ingme
up.
Hesur el
ydoesn'tdeser
vet hi
s.Iki
ll
edhisbaby
mamanowIj ustgavehiscookietosome
bast
ard.OhGodhowwi l
lIcomeoutoft his
mess.Wef i
nishedshoweringanddr i
edthenwe
wenttothebathroom andloti
onedourbodies.
"I
'
m notgoingdownnowIj ustwanttosleep"
I
na:
"Buty
oudi
dn'
teatbaby
"
Me:"
I'
mt i
redIj
ustwantt
orest
"Isl
i
ppedi
nto
bl
ankets.
I
na:"Iwon'
tlety
oust ar
v emybabyIwi
l
l f
etch
yourfood"Hepulledhisgownandworehis
pushinsthendisappeared.
Thehar
destt
hingIev
erhav
etodoi
stol
ookmy
fi
ancéi
ntheeyesasifnot
hingi
shappeni
ng.He
camebackwit
hat r
ayandthekids.
"Theyareofftosl
eepnow"Hepl
acedt
het
ray
onmyt highs
Them:
"Goodni
ghtmommy
"
Me:"
Goodni
ghtmybabi
escomegivemommya
ki
ss"Theywal
kedt
omeIkissedt
heirt
inyl
i
ps
"
Ilov
eyouguy
s"
Them:"Welovey
outooMama"Theyki
ssed
thei
rdaddyandwal
kedout
.Inasl
i
ppednextt
o
me
I
na:
"Eatbaby
"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Ina:
"Justf
ewspoonsmylov
e"Hetookthef
ood
andf edme."
Awuboni
kewenamapepeza"I
giggl
ed
Me:
"I
'm notababy
"
I
na:
"Youar
emybaby
"Hewi
pedmymout
hand
conti
nuefeedingme"Whatdidyourfathersai
d
thatgotyoudown.Youweren'
tl
ikethiswhen
youleft
"Talki
ngaboutsomeonewhoknowme
welli
t'
sactual
lyhi
m.
Me:
"Hedoesn'
twantt
ost
opt
his2m nonsense
f
orl
obol
aamount"
I
na:
"Idon'
thav
epr
oblem wi
tht
hatasl
ongIgot
t
omakey oumywif
e"
Me:"
2mi l
l
ionitsalotofmoney
.Thi
sisnota
busi
nesstransact
ionbet
weenthet
wofamil
ies"
I
na:
"Ther
e'snoamountofmoneyt
hatwi
l
lwor
th
y
oumybaby "Ismi
led.
WhenIfini
shedmyf oodhetookthedishes
downandcameback.Hesl ippednexttome
andwrappedmei nhisar
ms.Iwouldn'ttr
ade
hi
mforthewor l
dhei smorethenspecial
tome.
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
Iswi
tchedonmyphonetheweretonsof
messagesfr
om Jonat
hanandLwazi.Ical
l
ed
daddybutIcoul
dn'
treachhi
m.Wher
eishe
kant
i?
Ididn'
thaveashoottodayaspromisedwewill
takethekidsoutbutwestar
tedatthedoct
or
j
ustmeandhi m wewil
lgofetcht
hekidsaft
er
seeingthedoctor
.Theheart
beatf
il
ledther
oom
Icouldn'
thelpbutsmil
e
Doc:"
It
'sababygi
rl
"Inasmi
l
edwi
del
ytear
s
runni
ngdownhischeek
I
na:"Thanky ousomuchbabyforthisperf
ect
gi
ft"Hekissedmyl i
ps.Hecoul
dn'thidehi
s
happiness.Iwipedhi
st ear
swi
thmyt humbs."I
l
ovey ouandourchi l
drensomuch"
Me: "
Ilov
eyout oobaby"Hewipedthegeland
kissedmyt ummy .Thedoct
orgaveusthepri
nt
outsthenwel eft
.WehadbreakfastatM&B.
"Eatandstopstaringt
hosepri
ntsout"He
chuckled
I
na:"
Ican'
tgetenoughofthem"Heki
ssedthe
pr
intoutandki
ssedmet henst
art
edeati
ng.
Myphonev i
brat
ed.I
twasat ext:
MORNI NGMY
LOVEYOULOOKBEAUTI FULIdel et
editand
l
ookedar oundJonathanwasbehi ndusIna'
s
backf acinghim.Hewi nkedatmeIl ooked
downandbr eathoutloudly.Anothersmscame
through:COMESI TWI THME.Ichokedonmy
foodr eal
lynow."Areyouokaymybaby "
Me:"Ye.
.y
esIneedthet
oil
etbaby
"Iwant
edt
o
getawayfrom t
hem.
I
na:"Okaybaby
"Ist
oodupandwenttothe
l
adies.OhGodwhatshoul
dIdonow.Thedoor
opened
Me:"
Whatt hefuckJonathancanIhave
br
eakfastwithmyfiancéwithpeace!
!"
Jobat
han:
"Ihat
eitwhenheki
ssyouandt
ouch
youwhenareyoutel
l
inghi
mit'
sover
"Iwi
den
myeyes
Me:
"Ican'
tdot
hat
"
Jonat
han:
"Don'
tpushme"
Me:"
Giv
emet
imeokayIwi
l
ltel
lhi
m nowl
etme
go"
Jonathan:
"YouareluckyIm apati
entman"He
ki
ssedmeandl i
ft
edmeupf orci
ngmet owrap
mylegsaroundhiswai st"
Imissyou"Hesli
d
mypant i
esasideandinsert
edhisfinger
.I
gasped
Me:"Jonat
hanpleasemanj
ustletmegomy
fi
ancéiswaiti
ngforme"Heshovehi
sfi
nger
deepIgroaned
Jonathan:
"Arey oualwayswet"Hewi thdrawhis
fi
ngerandshov eitmymout h"Tasteyour
del
ici
ousselfbaby "Iwastempt edtobitehim
heenteredmeIscr eamed" Ohhshi tyouareso
warm"Hebuckedhi ships.Groaninglouderas
hi
sspeedi ncreasedthedoorbur stopen.
"
KUHLEKONKE"whi
sper
edmyf i
ancéhi
s
mout
handeyeswi
deopened.Ohnooo!
[
06/
01,
14:
43]W:
65
NARRATED
•
Nkosinamandlacoul dn'
tbeli
evehi
seyeshe
closedthem t
hinkingmay bethi
sisaprankor
i
t'ssomekindofdr eam buthewassureashel
l
thathewasn'tsleeping.
Heopenedhi seyesandthereshewashis
dar
li
ngfiancéefucki
nganotherman,thesame
manshepr omisedhimthatsheisnotint
erest
i
nhim orwast hatal
ie?
“
Baby
”
whisperedKuhlekonkeasal lsor
tofemot ions
engulfhertearsstreamingdownhernowpal e
face.Howshewi shallthi
swasjustahor ri
ble
dream.Lor disherwi t
nesssheloveherfiancé
witheveryboneinherbodyshenev erthought
theywillcomeacr osstosuchpredicament
whereshei sthecr eat
orofit
.
Shewast
ryi
ngt
opr
otecthermar
ri
ageand
her
selfshenevermeantanyharm.Thet hought
ofgoingtojai
lleav
ingherchi
l
drenbehindand
gi
vebi r
thtotheonesheiscarr
yingki
l
ledher
mult
ipleti
mes.
Jonathan:
“Youaredistur
bingusdude”He
thrust
edherhardershescreamed.
Nkosinamandlalosti
tandgr abbedhimthen
pressedhi
m againstthewallstrangl
i
nghim
Nkosi
namandla:“
Yousonofabit
chdidntIt
ell
youtost
aythefuckawayf
rom myfi
ancée!”
Jonat
han:
“You..
just..aboy..Nkosinamandla.
.
youcan'
tcompet ewi t
haman. ..
Konkeneeda
manthatcantake..careofher..notyou..
var
sit
yboy!!
”Hest ruggledtoutterwordsas
Nkosi
namandla'
sgr iptight
enedonhi sthroat
.
Thosewordsant agonizedNkosi
namandl
a
fur
therhethrewcountlesspunchest
hatsent
Jonathanstr
aighttothefloor
.
Kuhl
ekonke:
“Babyplease”Shepul
ledherfi
ancé
awayfr
om Jonathanwhowasbl eedingand
groani
nginpainasNkosinamandlaki
ckedhim
hardonhisstomach“Youaregoingtokil
lhi
m
Nkosinamandla!
"shecr
ied
Nkosinamandla:
“ Getawayf r
om mey oubit
ch!
I'
m goingtokil
lthisbastar
dwhenI '
m donewi t
h
himy ouarenext!!
”Hey ankedhi mselffr
om
Kuhlekonke'
sgriproari
nglikeal i
onandsal i
va
comingoutofhi smout h.Kuhlekonkestepped
backasf eart
ookov ershehav enev erseenher
fi
ancét hi
sangryhewasl i
keabeast .
Kuhl
ekonke:
“Youar
enotamur
der
erst
handwa
sami
”shesobbed.
Evenaftert
hepai nheisgoingthr
oughbecause
ofher,
herv oi
cest i
l
lsoftenhi
m.Hemadehi s
wayoutbutKuhl ekonkegrabbedhisshaki
ng
handsinfacthiswholebodywast rembli
ng.
“Babyl
etmeexpl ainplease”
Nkosinamandl
a:“
Donttouchmewit
hyourf
il
thy
hands!!
”Heyankedoffherhand
Kuhl
ekonke:
“I
m sor
ryNkosi
namandl
aIl
ovey
ou
somuchIdi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
tyoubaby
.Hewas
bl
ackmai
l
ingme”
Nkosinamandl
a:“
Howlonghaveyoubeen
fucki
ngthi
sidi
ot?Howlonghaveyoubeen
fooli
ngmeKonke.HowlonghaveIbeen
shari
ngyou”
Hi
sv oi
cecarr
iedsomuchpain.Hefeltso
br
oken,soemptyli
kesomeonef or
ceful
lyr
ipped
of
fhishear
toutofhischest,
hisknees
wobbli
ngandhiseyesbur
ningwithtear
s.
Hecoul dn'
thelpbutsmel l sexodourmi xedwith
men'sscentonhi sf i
ancéewhenshecame
backfrom herfatherlastni ghtandt hecol
d
showershet ookaddmor esuspi ci
onbuthe
brusheditoffheev enfeltbadf orthinki
ngsuch
thi
ngabouthi sfi
ancéeshewi ll
nev erdothatt
o
him.
Kuhl
ekonke:
“BabyI
'
m so.
..
”
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Isai
dhowl
ong!
”
Kuhlekonke:“Lastnightandtodayonl y.Iwanted
totellyoubabybutIwasscar ed.Theni ghtyou
wentt oKZNt oburyPhakamani Thabi
ecamet o
ourhouseandat t
ackedme.Shewasgoi ngto
kil
lmebabyshehadabi gknifeandshesai d
I'
m standingonherwayt ogetyou.Itwasnev er
myi ntent
iont okil
lherbabybutIhadt odef ense
my sel
fI m sorry”shecried.
Nkosi
namandl
alookedathi
sfi
ancéeshocked
hi
seyespoppi
ngout
Nkosinamandl
a:“
Allt
hist
imewhenIhav ebeen
upanddownl ooki
ngforThabi
ey ouknewv er
y
well
whathappnedt oher
!Whatkindofhuman
ar
ey ouhuhhowcany oulookmysoncr yever
y
ni
ghtf orhi
smom andfeelnogui
l
t y
?”
Kuhlekonke:
“I
twaseat i
ngmeev er
ydayIswear
.
I'
mr eall
ysor
rybabyitswasei t
herit
'smeorher.
Ididn'tmeantokil
lher.Jonathancamethat
nightIwasscaredandt r
aumat i
zedhe
comf ort
edmeIf al
lasl
eept henextmorni
nghe
tol
dmehebur i
edthebody.Hedi
ditonpur
pose
sothathecanbl
ackmailmetobewithme.
”
Nkosi namandla:“
Youarelyi
ngyouwant edto
fuckhi m!Youwant edhimtofuckyoubitch!
Afterallthatwhatalwaysyouhaveeverbeena
whor ethatsleepsaroundandchangesmanl i
ke
panties!!
"
ThosewordshithometoKuhlekonkenoteven
oncehadshethoughtherf
iancéwill
lookather
assuch.
Kuhlekonke:“
Iswearbabypl easebeli
evemeI
didn'
twantt osleepwi t
hhim.Hesaidhewi l
ltel
l
thepoli
ceev ery
thing.Icoul
dn'tal
l
owourbaby
tobebor ninjai
l baby.Whataboutourchi
ldr
en?
Theyneedmegoi ngtojai
lwil
ldestr
oy
everyt
hingwehav e”
Nkosinamandla:
“Youshouldhavetoldme
dammi ttheni
ghtyoukil
ledThabieIwouldhav
e
for
getaboutPhakamani'sfuner
alanddri
ve
str
aighthereyouknowwhy ?CozIlovey
ou?I'
d
doany thingf oryouwoman!Igav ey oumyal l
andlov ey ouev enwhenev eryonet urnedt hei r
backsony ou.Ihavenev ergav ey ouar eason
nottot r
ustmebuty ouf ail
edj usttodoone
simplet hingandt el
l met hetruthf rom t hewor d
go.Im bey ondshatteredthatIwast edalmost3
yearsofmyl i
febuil
dingf uturewi thy ouonl yto
fi
ndouti twasal lj
ustawast e.Ev enaf termy
effor
ts,dedi cati
on,dev oti
ont oy ou, youl ack
tr
ustonme.Idon' tknowwhatmor edidy ou
wantedf rom mef oryout oknowt hatIgoty ou.
It
'sapityy ouarecar i
ngmychi l
dy ouwoul dbe
deadt ome”
Hisfacewasnowwetwi thtear sthatcouldn'
t
stopfall
i
ng.Hekeptwi pi
ngt hem wi thhis
tr
embl i
nghandsbuttheyf al
l endlessly
.
Kuhlekonke'shear
tbr
okei ntoteensypi ecest
o
bethesour ceofherf
iancé'spai n.
Kuhl
ekonke:
“I
m sor
ryst
handwapl
easef
orgi
ve
me”Sheheldhim
Nkosinamandl
a:“
Sor
ryt
odist
urby
ourl
ove
makingsessi
oncarr
yon”
onat
han:“
Thi
sisnotoverv
arsi
tyboyyoucan'
t
j
ustbeatmeupandenjoyyour
self
”Hespat
bl
oodashetrytogetupfr
om thefl
oorwi
ncing
i
npain
Kuhlekonke:“
JobeI'
m sorrypleasedon'
tleave
meI '
m beggingyou.Beangryatmebutdon' t
l
eavemepl ease”Shewentdownonherknees
andpr essedherpal
mst ogetherbeggi
ng
desperatelyf
orthel
oveofherl ovetonotleave
her.
Nkosinamandl
a:“
Im donewit
hyou”Heturnedt
o
walkedoutKuhl
ekonkegrabbedhi
slegand
huggeditt
ight
ly
Kuhl
ekonke:
“Babypl
easedon'
tgoIl
ovey
ou
Nkosi
namandlaandI'
m sor
ry”
Nkosinamandlalookedatthi
swomanwhowas
beggi
ngdesper atel
yassheheldonhisl
eg
angertri
gger
edi nhimthathesti
l
llov
eherand
i
tbr
okehi
shear
ttoseehercr
yingl
i
ket
his.
Hewant edtohugherandt el
lherthat
everyt
hingisgoingtobeokaybuthowwhen
sheisther easonhi
sheartisbl
eeding.Hebent
totouchherbuthecouldn'tdoit.
Fuck!!whycan' thehat
eher?Hehavetohate
hermaan!Hey ankedhi
slegoffandwal
kedout.
Kuhlekonkestoodupandr anaft
erhi
m but
Jonathangrabbedherarm
Jonathan:
”Lethi
m be.Tofoundoutf
orhi
msel
f
savedyouf r
om t
ell
inghi
m”
Kuhlekonke:“
Areyousickinyourhead!Iwas
nevergoingtoleavemyf i
ancéforyoumor on!
!I
hat
ey oudoy ouhearmeIloathedyou.Leave
meal one!”Shecri
ed
Jonathan:
“Youthinkhewillf
orgivey ouandt ake
youback?Youmustbest upidthenIt hought.
Mennev erfor
giveinfi
del
it
ynomat terhowwe
l
oveawomani tsironi
cthatwear et hefir
stone
tocheatfi
rstbutwenev ereverforgiveinf
ideli
ty.
Ifwedowewi l
lnevertr
ustt
hewomanagai
n
andIdon'
tthi
nkthat'
stheki
ndamar
ri
ageyou
want”
Kuhlekonke:
“Youcallyoursel
faman?Youar e
notevencentimetersclosetobeaman.You
areasicktwistedlunat
icboywhocan' teven
persuadeawomani nsteadyoublackmailhert
o
l
ov eyouwhodoest hat
!”shey ankedoffhis
hand
Jonat
han:
“Shutup!
!”Her
etor
ted.
Kuhl
ekonke:
“Fucky
ou!
!!
”Shespatonhi
sface.
Hebacksl appedherhar dsendi ngherstrai
ght
tothefl
oort henst ar
tedkickinghershecur l
ed
hersel
fint
oaf oetusblockinghiskickstoreach
hertummy .Shel ostherlov eofherli
feshecan't
l
oset hi
sbabyt ooitwil
lbreakherapar t
.
Jonat
han:
“Nev
erev
erspatonmey
ouwhor
e!”
Heclickedhi
stoungeandwalkedoutl
eav
ing
Kuhl
ekonkecryi
nginagonybl
oodcomingoutof
mouth.Herbodywassor ebutnopaincan
amountt otheoneinherhear
tshel
osttheonl
y
mant hatlovehert
rul
y,t
hatsawawomanout
ofherwhileothermensawapunchingbagand
asperm dish.
Themant hatst
uckwi thherandwaswill
i
ngt o
chooseherov erhisfamily
.Themanthatdidn'
t
careaboutherage, hersonandthet
hingsshe
wentthroughheshower edherwi
thl
oveand
tr
eatedherl i
ketheQueenoft hewor
ld.
Indeedshel ostadiamond.While
Nkosinamandlawascr yi
nghislungsouti
nhis
carast hepi
ctureofhisfi
ancéefucki
nganot
her
manpl aster
edonhismi nd.
Howcouldshedot hi
stohi m hetrustedher
wi
thallhi
smight.Hemi ssedtheignition3
t
imesashishandswer etremblingunt il
he
managedandstart
edhiscart hendr oveoff
.
Tearscoul
dn'tst
opr
oll
i
ngdownhisfacehe
keptwipi
ngthem wi
tht
hebackofhi
shands.I
t
wasneverthi
spai
nful
andsuf
focat
ingl
i
ket
his
wi
thThabie.
Thepainnowhasmul t
ipli
edhowi shegoingt
o
carr
yonwi t
hl i
fewit
hthispain?Hisheartwas
fal
li
ngtotakethepainitstoomuchf orone
heart
.Hepulledoffonthef i
rstt
arven.
Hewant edsomethi
ngtohel
phim numbthe
pai
n.Hest eppedoutofhi
scarandmadehis
wayinside.Heboughtabott
leofr
edlabeland
haditri
ghtthere.
Somegi r
lnoti
cethishunkwholookedli
kehe
wasdrinki
ngt hepainawayashewasgulpi
ng
downonegl assaftert
heother
.Shefi
xed
hersel
fandmadeherwayt oNkosi
namandla'
s
tabl
e.
“Hell
o”Nkosi
namandl
al ookedupatthi
s
beauti
fulgi
rlwi
thal
ltherightmeati
nther
ight
places
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Hi”
“
CanIj
oiny
ou”
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
YesbutI
'
m notagood
company”
“I
m notagoodcompanytoowehave
somethingi
ncommon”Shesaidsit
ti
ngdown
“Whatisstr
essi
ngahandsomeguyl
ikey
ou”
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Irat
hernott
alkaboutt
hat
.
Whatdri
nkcanIgetyou”
“
PineTwi
st”
Nkosinamandl
anoddedandwentt
obuyPine
Twistfort
hegi
rlt
hencamebackandsatdown.
“
Younotgonnaaskmyname”shesai
dopeni
ng
t
hecanofpinet
wist
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Sor
rywhati
syourname”
“
Promi
se”
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Beaut
if
ulname.I
'
m
Nkosi
namandl
a”
Thei
rconv
ersat
ionst
art
edf
oll
owi
ngasi
twent
onandalcoholdoi
ngwhatitdoesthebestin
thei
rsyst
em.Afteranhourtheyweredr
ivi
ngto
MZhot el
whichishispar
entshotel
butthey
star
tedatgar
aget obuycondoms.
Ast hesonofbossestheydi
dn'
tgi
vehima
pr
oblem.Themomentt heygoti
nhesmashed
hi
slipsonthegi
rl'
sli
psandri
ppedoffher
cl
othes.
Hepickedherupsheclampedherlegsaround
hi
swai st.Hewalkedt
othebedroom andthr
ew
heront hebedshebounceabit
.
“Comeher ealreadyl
overboy”shebit
eher
bottom li
pNkosinamandlatookoffhi
scl
oths
andl ef
thisbri
ef.Hegotontopofherand
kissedherthenlookedather,herfacet
urned
i
nt oKuhlekonke'
sface.
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Ican'
tdot
his”
“
WhycomeonbabyIwanty
ounow”
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Getupandgetdr
essedIwi
l
l
dr
ivey
ou”
“Youj
ustwastedmyti
mey aznx!
!”Sher
oll
ed
outofbedandgotdr
essed
Nkosinamandl
a:“
Isav edyoufr
om sleepi
ngwith
theguyyoumett oday.Havesomesel fr
espect
sis”Hesai
dgetti
ngdr ess.“
Ishoul
ddr i
veyou
backwhereIfoundy ouor”
"Takemehome”Shesai
dwi
tht
oomuch
atti
tude
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Younotgonnagi
veme
at
ti
tudef
ormydickhai
bosis.
”
“Mxm”Shedi r
ectedhim atherplace.Hepul
led
offoutsi
dethegateandst eppedoutofthecar
toopenthedoorforher .Whatagentleman
thoughtthegi
rleventhoughshewasmadat
him.Shegotoutoft hecar“Thankyou”
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Sure”Thegi
rlmadeherwayt
o
t
hegateasNkosinamandl
awenttothesi
deof
t
hedri
verseat
.Ablackmercpassedbyand
fi
redgunshot sathim.Hef eltshar
ppainas
fi
vebul let
spenetrati
ngalloverhisbodyhe
stumbl edtry
ingtobalancewi t
hhiscarbuthe
couldn'thefallontheground.Thegirl
screamedandr antohim herkneeswobbl i
ng
shedr oppedonherkneesandhel d
Nkosinamandl awhowascov eredinblood.
“Nkosi
namandla”Shesl
appedhi
scheekcr
ying
helookedatherl
azil
y
Nkosi
namandl
a:“
Ca..
cal
l
..my
..
pa.
.r
e..
n”Thatal
l
hemanagedtosay.
[
06/
01,
14:
43]W:
66
THANDOKUHLE
•
Iwokeupwi t
hat erri
bleheadacheandf eel
i
ng
nauseas.Ilovethefeelingofbei
ngsloshedits
thebestfeeli
ngev erbutthehangoverthe
fol
lowingmor ni
ngwi llmakemequi tal
cohol
str
unasi.
Lastni
ghtwasgreatI
t'
sbeenawhi
l
esi
nceI
wentout.Ev
ersi
ncewemov edtot
hef
olks
houseIdon'
tgooutasIuseto.
Ienjoyedmy sel
fwit
hmysi sterslastni
ght
exceptthepartwheresisKattol
dmet hatshe
wil
lnevertel
lmet ostayawayf r
om boysImust
dome.
Ifeltr
eall
ybadthatsheisgi
vinguponme.She
i
st helastper
sonI'
dwanttogi v
euponme.I
sawi ti
nhereyesthatshemeantitIwon'
tl
ie
i
t'
sbr okemyheartint
opieces.
Shehav ereachthatpointwher
eshedoesn' t
careanymor eaboutmeandboy s.EvenifIcan
fal
lpregnantri
ghtnowshewoul dntcareit'
s
hurtshamebutIunder standwhyIthinkI
'dfeel
l
ikethesamet ooifIwasher .
Iwasveryharshandj udgmentaltowardsher
andontopoft hatIneverapologi
sed.My
ther
api
stsaidIshouldn'tblamemy selff
orthe
l
ossofthetwinsbutIcan' thel
pitIfeel
r
esponsi
ble.
IfyouaskmewhyIhav en'
tapol
ogisetoherI
won'tt
elly
oushame.Thet hi
ngi
sI'
m usedto
herapol
ogisi
ngtomeev enwhenI'
mt heone
whohav edonewrong.
It'
shert
hatmademel ikethi
sshenevertaught
met ot
akeresponsi
bili
tyformyact
ions.She
l
ovemet oomucht hatshedoesn'
treal
izethat
someti
messhei smi sl
eadingme.
Idon'tblameherthoughraisi
ngachi ldwhen
youar echil
dyoursel
fcan'
tbeeasy .
Ihaveto
apologisetoherandfixourrelat
ionshipImiss
us.Ihav enoti
cedthatwenol ongerthatsl
ay
babeandsl ayqueen.
Al othavehappenedbetweenusIhateitthat
wemi ghtdrif
tapartwhi
lepretendi
ngt
hat
everyt
hingisokay.Thefi
rstti
meIsawMamaI
j
ustknewi t
sher .ImustsayIam myparents
dupli
cate.
I
'
m gr
atef
ult
oMommyQueenf
orbr
ingi
ngher
homeIhopeshegai nhermemor yback.My
phonerangIgroanedIcouldn'
tevenlif
tmy
headwithoutf
eeli
ngpain.Istr
etchedmyhand
andtookmyphoneont hebesidetablethen
cover
edmy sel
fwithcoversbeforeanswering.
Me:
“KB”
KB:
“Heygfhowar
eyou”
Me:
“Hangov
erbr
aisonanot
herl
evel
”
KB:
“Tshot
shof
ornoti
nvi
ti
ngus”
Me:“
Itwassi
ster
sni
ghtouthawuy
ouneedt
o
chi
l
l”
KB:
“Whydi
dn'
tsayso”
Me:
“Ij
ustt
oldy
ounj
e”
KB:
“Wher
e'smybaewhenar
eyouhooki
ngme
upwit
hhi
m”
Me:
“Mj
isapl
ayerj
ustf
orgetabouthi
mfr
iend”
KB:
"May
beIwi
l
ltamehi
m whoknows"
Me:
“Hewi
l
lbr
eaky
ourhear
tKB”
KB:
“Hei
sthatbad?
”
Me:
“ver
ybad”
KB:“
Fuckthatbadboyofy
ourbr
othergotme
hypnot
ized.Heisal
lov
ermymindIcan'thel
p
i
t”
Me:
“Youneedt
opullyour
sel
ftoget
hermy
f
ri
endsozengi
kbhay
zise”
Iheardherbr
eat
hingoutl
oudl
yshamemy
fr
iend.
KB:
“LookIwi
l
lseey
aneh”
Me:
“Sur
efr
iendaski
esneh”
KB:
“I
'm abi
ggi
rldon'
twor
ry”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”
KB:“Il
oveyoutoo”Ihungupandl ookedatt
he
ti
me: 10:
00sisKat'
slectur
esendat11:30soI
sti
ll
gottimeIremovedt hecoverfr
om myhead
andsawMj seat
edont heedgeofmybedwho
l
ookedpissed.
Me:
“M.
.Mj
”
Mj:
“Kl
emjy
ouar
ebadmout
hingmet
oyour
f
ri
ends”
Me:
“Whathappenedt
oknocki
ng”
Mj
:
“Hav
eIev
erbr
okey
ourhear
t”
Me:
“Ofcour
senot
”
Mj:
“Sost
optal
ki
ngthi
ngsy
oudon'
tknowabout
nx”Hest
oodupandandmadei
swayt ot
he
door
Me:“
Mj comeon”Heignor
edmeandwal
ked
outwit
houtevent
ell
i
ngmewhywashehere.I
si
ghedheavil
y.
Idon'tknowwhyhei sangr ycozheisaplayer
heintroducedmet ohisfivegir
lf
ri
endscany ou
I
magi neandhedoesn' tlovethem al
lexcept
PalesaalthoughIwoul dn'tsayit
sloveIthi
nkhe
feelsorryforherbecauseofherbackgr ound.
Herpar entsdiedshest aywithhergrandmother
whoi sinwheel chai
randi sdiabet
ic.
Palesawant edtoworkaftermat r
icbutMj
offeredt otakecareofthem whi lePalesa
furtherherst udi
es.MZbur sar i
esispayingfor
herst udies.Shegotthebur saryfairandsquare
Mj didn'tputinagoodwor df orhereventhe
folksdoesn' tknowthatoneoft hestudents
theyf undist hei
rson'
sgirl
friend.
Thesepeopl earedamnf uckingri
chIt
ellyou
every
thi
ngt hathaveMZwhi chstandf
or
Mawakhelomuzi &Zesul
iweast henamej ust
knowitoneoft heirbusi
nesses.Theyaresuch
aninspi
rat
iont oyoungpeopl eespeci
all
ywho
neverhaditeasylikeme.
Gramsandgr andpaownachai nofbusinesses
theyevenownahospi t
alNdoni phoPri
vate
Hospital
.Gramswasal awy erandgrandpawas
adoctorsurelydaddyhadi teasybutmom
neverhaditeasyafterthedeat hofheradoptiv
e
parentsbutlookwhereshei snowyouwoul dbe
surpri
sethatshemat ri
culatedattheageof20.
Ithoughtofmy selfasamusiciansomeday
si
nceIuset osingmysi st
erssongsbuttheday
DaddyKingt ookmet ohiscompanyIknew
ri
ghtthereandt henthatanyt
hingthatgott
odo
withbusinessmanagementt hat'
sme.
AnywayIsl i
doutofbedandmademybedt hen
wenttotakeashower .Af
terhygi
eneprocessI
gotdressedinablackski
nnyjean,bl
ueadidas
gol
fteeandwhi t
eNi kekotexsneaker
s.Iti
ed
myweav eintoaneatbunandappl i
edabitof
makeup.
Itookmyphoneandt hecarkeys.Mommy
Queengavemeoneofhercar sfortheti
me
beingt
hatwhatshesaidIdon'
tknowwhatdoes
thatmean.I
t'
sagreyAudiS5coupé.Ilovei
t,
i
tsbeauti
ful
.
IfoundMommyQueen, Mom,Si
hleandthel
it
tl
e
boysLamiandSbanii
nthel
ounge.Iwonder
whereisKuhl
ecoul
ditbepossi
blet
hatshe
di
dn'tcomehomelastni
ght
.
Them:
“Mor
ningsi
s”
Mom:
“Younev
ersl
eept
il
lthi
slat
emychi
l
d.”
Me:
“IguessIwasexhaust
ed”
Mom: “
Thatwhathappenwheny ouareclubbi
ng
thewholenight
”Iswall
owedhar dl
ooki
ngat
Sihl
ewhogav emeal ookt hatIcoul
dn'
tread
“Whenarey ougoi
ngtoy ourhouseSihl
eI '
m
sureyourhusbandmissy ou”
Si
hle:
“HawuMaar
eyouki
cki
ngmeoutofy
our
house?”
Kuhl
ewal
kedi
nyawni
ngshewasst
il
li
nherpj
s
Kuhl
e:“
Mor
ning”
Mom:“
Morni
nguknukadi
dn'
tIt
ell
yout
ost
ay
homel
astni
ght
”
Kuhl
e:“
Uhm y
oudi
dmom andIwasher
e..
.”
Mom:
“I
m noty
ourgr
andmot
herSqal
okuhl
e”
Si
hle:
“Mom comeont
heyar
enotsi
ckt
heyar
e
pr
egnant”
Mom:“
Apr egnantwomandoesn'
tgoout
cl
ubbi
ngatnight.Any
thi
ngcoul
dhappen
dammit!
”
Kuhl
e:“
Rel
axnot
hinghappenedokaywear
e
fi
ne.
”
Mom:
“Wher
edi
dyousl
eep?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Ma”Shescr
atchedhercheek
Mom:
“Ny
a!Youhear
dme!
”
Kuhl
e:“Iwantt
opukeexcuseme”shesai
d
fr
owning
Mom:“YeSqal
okuhl
eyouhav
eoneni
ghtst
ands
now?
”
Me:“Thatmycue”Ir
anout.Mom canbescary
whensheshoutherfacet
urnsredimmediat
ely
.
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odo
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l
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ash?
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hepast
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Wi
l
lyoul
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*
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Uponar
ri
val
Iwai
tedf
orher
.
“I
sLami okay
?”Thatwhatshesaidthemoment
shegottome.Thel oveshehavefort
heli
tt
le
ni
ggaisoutofthisworl
ddespit
eofwhat
happenedbetweenherandhisfat
her.
Me:
“Hel
l
otoy
out
oosi
s”
Kat
:“
Whatar
ey oudoi
ngher
eThandopl
easet
ell
menoonedied”
Me:“
Noonediedwhywouldy
ouevent
hinkof
deat
houtofal
lthi
ngsi
nthewor
ld”
Kat:
“Ihavebeenhavi
ngthi
sf eeli
ngthat
somethinghorr
ibl
ewil
lhappenIcouldn'
teven
concentrat
eareyousur
eev eryonei
sokay?
”
Me:
“Yestheyar
efi
nesi
syouhav
enot
hingt
o
wor
ryabout”
Kat
:“
Thenwhyar
eyouher
e?”
Me:
“Imi
ssy
ou,
Imi
ssmysl
ayQueen”
Kat
:“
Ihav
ebeenher
emosThandoal
lal
ong”
Me:“YouknowwhatImeansisKat
”Shesighed
heavil
y“Pl
easel
et'
sgooutandhavebr
unch
anywhereyouchooseandt
alk”
Kat
:“
Thando.
..
”
Me:
“Pl
ease”Iwhi
sper
ed
Kat:“
Areyousurethatwewi l
lgoanywhereI
choose”OhGodwhydi dIsai
dthat.Dadis
goingtokil
lme.Inodded“There'
sthisnewfast
foodshop.Iskobhosabosenza1”
Me:
“Okayl
et'
sgot
hen”Ipr
ayt
hatdaddy
doesn'
tfi
ndoutnkosiy
ami.Katakal
alel
iyazshe
knowsthatdaddydoesn'
twanthert
oeat
i
skobho.
Wegoti noursepar at
ecarsandlef
ttotothi
s
placeshesai d.I
twaspackedtheymustsell
ing
beadel i
ciousskobhomos.IwashappywhenI
foundoutt hattheydoesn'
tsel
li
skobhoonly
.I
boughtpapandskobhof orherandpapand
steakforme.Wesatdownaswewai tedf
orour
food“Peopl elovei
thereneh”
Kat:
“Toomucht heyhav
ewozawozaI
'mt el
l
ing
you”Welaughed.Myphoner
angmyfatherwas
cal
li
ng
Me:
“Daddy
”
Dad:
“Hel
l
osweet
nesshowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
mfi
nedaddyhowi
syou”
Dad:
“I
mfabmychi
l
dwhatar
eyoudoi
ng”
Me:
“Hav
ingbr
unchwi
thmysi
ster
”
Dad:
“OkayIwant
edt
ospendsomet
imewi
th
y
out
odaybuti
t'
sfi
ne”
Me:
“Iwoul
dlov
ethatdaddy
”
Dad:“
Okaywheny
ouf
ini
shcal
lmeIwi
l
lcome
fet
chy ou”
Me:
“Okaynopr
obl
em”
Dad:
“Youwi
l
lsl
eepov
err
ight
”
Me:
“Di
dyout
ell
mom anddad?
”
Dad:
“Yest
heydon'
thav
eapr
obl
em”
Me:“
Okayt
hatcool
thenIwi
l
lcal
lyouwhenI
'
m
done”
Daddy
:“Okaysweet
ness”
Me:
“Cool
bye”
Daddy
:“Sweet
ness”
Me:
“Daddy
”
Daddy
:“Il
ovey
ou”Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutsmi
l
e.
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oodaddy
”
Daddy
:“Shar
p”Hehungup.I
tst
il
lfeel
ssur
real
thatIhav
eaf ather.Every
dayIpinchedmy sel
f
tocheckifit
snotadr eam.Icanf eelthatwe
goingtohavethebestf atheranddaughter
rel
ati
onshipever.Iwishmom cangai nher
memor ybackwhoknowsmay betheycanget
backtogether.
Kat
:“
moyimoyi”Igi
ggl
ed“Youhavenoi
dea
howhappyam Iwhenyouar
ehappy”
Me:
“Real
l
y?”
Kat
:“
Yeahwhatki
ndofquest
ioni
sthat
?”
Me:
“It
houghty
ouhav
egi
venuponme”
Kat:
“Thati
snottrueevery
thingissti
l
l thesame
thedif
fer
enceisyounotgonnahearmet el
li
ng
youtostayawayfrom boyswar awara”Our
foodanddrinkscame“ Atlast”Shelickedher
l
ipsIshookmyheadandst art
edeating
Me:
“ButIdon'
twanty
out
ost
opsi
s”
Kat:
“I
tsnotmypl
acet
otell
youthatThando”
sheshoveapi
eceofmeati
nhermout h
Me:“
Bul
l
shi
tyouar
emysi
steri
t'
syourpl
acet
o
t
ell
methat
”
Kat:
“Comeonsi
showcanahor
nysl
utt
ell
you
tost
ayawayfr
om boy
s”
Me:“
Im sorr
yI'mreall
ysorryf
oreveryt
hingI
sai
dandf orev
ery
thingthathappened”
Kat
:“
Dontsaysorr
yjustbecauseyouar
edoi
ng
meaf av
our.
”shesiponherdrink
Me:
“I
m deepl
ysor
rysi
swami
pleasef
orgi
ve
me”
Kat:
“Youknowsi sIdon'
twanty outof eell
ike
youhavetowor shipmeandr espectmej ust
becauseIrai
sedy ounoIwanty out orespect
mecozIdeser vet oberespectedsodon' tfeel
badthatIdon'tdeserv
eyourr espect”
Me:“Youdodeser vemyrespectsis.Ihave
al
way sbeenjudgement
altowardsy ouandI'
m
sorr
y .Nobodyisperf
ectandweal lmake
mistakes.Itmustbehardforyou.Thebur den
youhadt ocar r
yony ourowni t'
stoomuchf or
you.Youar ealsoyoungsoy oucan'tbea
perf
ectionist
.Lif
eisnotawal ki
nt hepar ki
ts
getharderwheny ouar eyoungy ourselfbutyou
havetot akecareofy ouryoungersisterand
havenoonet oguidey ou”
Kat:“
Whydoesi tal
wayshavetotakemetosay
somet hi
ngt oy
ouorapologi
seforyout
o
reasonthingsl
ikeanadul
t”
Me: “
Youar etheonewhomademel ikethissis
Katnott hatI '
m bl ami ngyoubutt r
uthisy ou
havenev ertaughtmet otaker esponsibil
ityfor
myact i
ons.Si nceIwasal it
tlegirly
ouhav e
alwayst reatedmel i
keaneggandy ouwer e
obli
vioust ot hedamagei tmi ghtcause.Ev ery
ti
mewhenwef ighty ouapol ogisefi
rstev en
whenI 'mt heonewhohav edonewr ong.You
couldn'tspendsecondsbei ngmadatmet hen
youst arttalkingtomeweendedupnott alki
ng
eloquent l
yaboutt hemat tert hatmadeusf i
ght
.
Ibecameusedt ot hat”Shebr eathedoutl oudly
Kat :“
Im nottr yingt odefendmy sel fbutasy ou
saidI my oungt ooI m boundt omakemi stakes.
All Ieverwant edwast ofil
lthegabMamal eft.I
want edtopr otect edyouandt omakey ou
happyal lthet ime.Yourhappi nesshasal way s
beenmyhappi ness.Whenev ery ousmi l
eand
l
aughi tmakemehappycozt hathowachi l
d
shoul dbe.Car efreeandj oll
yal l thet i
me.NowI
real i
zeIdidt hatt hewr ongwayandI '
m sor ry
slaybabe.Iwant edt hebestf ory ouandIhat ed
thatIcoul dn'tof ferwhaty oudeser v
e.I'
mr eall
y
sor ryokaypl easef or
giveme.If eel sobadt hatI
hav ebeenhur tingt hi
nkingt haty oudon' tcar e
aboutmyf eelingskant iI'
mt hecr eatorofal l
this”Tear srolleddownonherf ace.Thatsi sKat
fory oualway sblami ngher selfi tmakememad
att imes
Me:
“Woul
dyouf
uckenst
opt
his!
”
Shel
ookedatmeper
plexed
“
Stopbl
ami
ngy
our
sel
fwhenev
ert
her
e's
somethi
ngthatishappeni
ngi
nyourl
i
fe.I
'
m
get
ti
ngsickofitnow!”
Kat
:“
But
..
..
”
Me:“Theresnobut.Youdi dnot hi
ngwr ongsi s
KatI'
m gratef
ulforev ery
t hingy oudidf orme.
Youar eabestsist
erany onecoul dev eraskf or.
Don'tblameyourselfokay .Il oveyousomuch
andIswearIdontt hinkther ewi l
lbeany one
whocanl ovemel i
key oudoandI 'm sobl essed
tohavey ousopleasedon' tf eelbadf orloving
met oomuchcozt r
uthbet oldIenjoy edbul li
ng
you”Webot hlaughedwi t ht earsinourey es
Kat:
“Yourememberthisotherdayyouateal
l
theredcakesIboughtevenforthefol
l
owing
day”
Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
“Andyoushout
edatmethatIcr
ied.
”Iwi
ped
mytear
sasshedidsotoo
Kat
:“
Youwoul
dn'
tst
opcr
yingIst
olegogo'
s
puddi
ngt
omakey
oust
opcr
ying”
Me:“
Yourgr
andmot
herwasscreamingatt
he
t
opofhervoi
cewanti
ngherpuddi
ngshebeat
youup”
Kat:
“Saml
ayaandf
ini
shedall
thepuddi
ngf
or
beat
ingmeup”Welaughed
Me:“
Thatwomanwascruel
shame.Itmakeme
scar
edthatMamacoul
dbelikeher
”
Kat:
“Mom uset obeasweetwomanbuty ou
knowl i
fechangepeopl
e.Wedon'
tknowwhat
didthatwit
chdoctordi
dtohert
hatmighthave
changedherforli
fe”
Me:
“Pleasedon'
tgi
veuponmeIknowIcanbe
abi
tchjustdon'
tgi
veuponme”
Kat
:“
Youar
emybi
tch”Ismi
l
ed
Me:“Doesthatmeanyouwi
l
lrepr
imandmef
or
dat
ing”shelaughed
Kat:
“Youareoldnowsl
aybabeItr
ustyou
enoughthatyouwil
lmakegoodchoi
cesabout
yourlife.Ican'tstopy ouf r
om dat ingespeci all
y
nowt haty ouhav et asteditsocar ryonIdon' t
haveapr oblem justdon' tfallpregnantpl ease.
Ther easonIwant edy out ostartdat i
ngaf t
er
yougr aduat edisbecauseboy sar ehandf uland
theycander ailyou.LookatmeI '
m goi ngtobe
24y earsol dbutI '
m goi ngt obeasi nglemot her
oftwoal r
eady .Don' tforgetthattheyhav e
diff
erentf athers.Idon' twantal lthet hingsthat
happent omet ohappent oyou.Lov eisa
beautifulthingbuti tscomeswi thal otof
chall
engesandunr eversiblesit
uat ions”
Me: “Ihearyousisandt
hanksforyourwise
wor dst heykeptmegoi
ngtil
lthi
sfar.Ipr
omise
tocar rythem wit
hmeeverydayandIwon't
disappoi ntyou.
”
Kat
:“
IrepeatDON'
TFALLPREGNANTThando”
Me:
“Iwon'
tst
runasi
”
Kat
:“
Itr
usty
ou”Ismi
l
ed
Me:
“Thanky
ou”Ir
eachedf
orherhandsand
squeezedt
hem.
Kat
:“
Ilov
eyou”
Me:“
Iloveyout
oo”Wecarri
edoneat
ing“
Mom
knowthatwewentoutl
astnight
”
Kat
:“
Youl
i
e”shewi
denherey
es
Me:
“I
mt el
li
ngy ou.Shewasshout
ingatKuhl
e
f
ornotsl
eepingout”
Kat
:“
Mom i
sfussi
ngy
az”
Me:
“Howdoesi
tmakey ouf
eel
thatKuhl
espent
ani
ghtwi
thbut
iTbose”
Kat
:“
Whyshoul
dIf
eel
somet
hing”
Me:“
Isawthegreeneyeyouweregi
vi
ngt hem
whentheywer
edancing.Yourmoodchanged”
Kat
:“
Hayt
hati
snott
rue”
Me:
“Youar
emysi
sterIknowy
ou”
Kat:
“Thisf
oodtastereal
good”shesaid
chewingItookherbowlofi
skobho.“Sl
ay
babe!!
”sheshoutedIsmil
edthatshesti
ll
cal
l
meslaybabeevenwhenshei
sshout
ing.My
sl
ayqueenisback .
Me:
“Tal
ktome”
Kat
:“
Okaygi
vememymeatf
ir
st”
Me:“
Ify
outri
ckmeIwil
ltel
ldaddyt
haty
ou
f
orcedmetobuyi
skobho”shepouted“
Sowhat
i
t'
sgonnabe”
Kat:
“Youar
esti
l
lbull
yi
ngmewena”Igi
ggl
ed
andgavehermeat
.
Me:
“So”
Kat
:“
Tboseconf
essedt
hathehavefeel
ingsfor
me.Hewantedmetobehappyhencehel etme
bewit
hPKcozhewasmyhappi ness”
Me:“Well
Ioncesuspect
edthatsowhywoul
d
hespendanightwi
thKuhle”
Kat
:“
Idon'
tknowt
omakemef
eel
jeal
ous
maybe”
Me:
“Andi
tswor
kingneh”
Kat
:“
Youhav
enoi
dea”
Me:
“Youl
ovehi
m”
Kat
:“
Idon'
tknowsi
s”
Me:“
Whatdoyoumeanyoudon'
tknowsi
sI
meanify
ouar
ejeal
oust
hat'
smeansyoul
ove
hi
mtoo”
Kat
:“
IsayIdon'
tknowcozwhatIfeel
forhi
m
i
t'
snotthesameaswhatIfeel
forPK”
Me:“
PKisdeadsomehowyouhavet
omov
eon.
Youhav
etotell
Kuhl
ethet
ruth”
Kat
:“Nahshecanhavehi
mi fwhateverthatis
goi
ngonbet weent
hetwoofthem isgenuine.
Shealsodeser
vesomehappiness.
”
Me:
“Soy
ouwi
l
lignor
eyourf
eel
i
ngsf
orhi
m”
Kat
:“I
m notev
ensur
ewhatdoIf
eel
Thando”
Me:“Youar
esti
ll
mourningwhenyouhealyou
wil
lknowhowdoy oufeelandt
hatt
imehewill
bebelongi
ngt
oKuhle.Whoknowsmay be
Tbosewasyoursoul
mat
esi
sKatt
hinkabout
thi
scar
eful
l
y”
Kat
:“
Ifhecanl
oveKuhl
eli
kehel
ovemet
henal
l
i
shalel
uya”
Me:“Hereyougoagain.Whatabouty
our
happiness?Whydoy oual
wayssacri
fi
ceyour
happinessforot
herpeopl
e”
Kat:
“Myhappi
nessisdeadImightaswel
l
acceptt
hatIwi
llnev
erbehappyinmyli
fe”Her
voi
cecarri
edsomuchpain
Me:“Thatisnottrue.Tbosecouldbeyour
happiness.Godwor kinmy ster
iouswayIt
ell
you.
May behetookPKf oryoutoreal
i
zethat
Tbosei syourhappiness”
Kat:
"Youar
eput
ti
ngmei
naconf
usi
onbox
now”
Me:“
Dontbeconfusedwhydidhetakehi
m keI
meanyouaresti
l
l youngsomehowyouhaveto
f
indamanthatwillmarryyouandf
uckyoualot
ofchi
l
dren”
Kat
:“
Mh.
mhl
et'
sst
opt
alki
ngaboutt
his”
Me:“Okaybutaf
tery
ouhav
eanswer
edt
hisone
questi
on”
Kat
:“
Iml
i
steni
ng”
Me:“
Whodoesitf
oryoui
nbedbet
weenTbose
andPK”Shel
aughed
Kat
:“Yahl
any
aI'
m notgonnat
ell
yout
hat”I
gi
ggl
ed
Me:
“WhynothawuIwon'
ttel
lany
one”
Kat
:“
Sil
ewenanganel
et'
sgo”Shest
oodup
Me:
“Comeon”
Kat
:“
Hai
boasambe”(
let
'sgo)Igi
ggl
edwe
wal
kedout
Me:
“Imi
ssy
ourdonkeyr
ides”
Kat
:“
Shame”Shehookherarm onmyneckas
wemadeourwaytoourcars“Let
sgotothe
st
udioandsi
ngfewsongsthenyoucancal
l
y
ourdaddyt
ofet
chy
ou”
Me:“Sure”Wegotinourcar
sanddr ovetothe
studi
o.Itwasreal
lyf
unwesangal mostevery
songsisKatwr ot
e.Weknewt hem byour
heartsaft
ert
hatwewentt obuyIcecream.I
real
lyhadgoodt i
mewithherandmyhear tisat
peacenow.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Ihadagr eatti
mewi thmyl i
ttl
esisterI'
m glad
wet al
kedandIr eal
izedt hatIalsocont r
ibuted
toherbehav i
or.Nowwear ecool backtowhat
weuset obe.Herf atherpulledofnextt ousand
steppedoutoft hecar.Hehav et hatstatement
walkandhei sagoodl ookingman.
MrSi
biy
a:“
Bant
wanabami
”
Thando:
“Hel
l
odaddy
”
Me:
“MrSi
biy
asi
r”
MrSi
biy
a:“
Im al
soy
ourf
atherKat
”
Me:“Sor
ryMrSi
biy
a”Hechuckl
edandgav
eus
hugs.
MrSi
biy
a:“
Weshoul
dgetgoi
ng”
Thando:
“Iwi
l
lcal
lyousi
s”
Me:“Al
ri
ght”WehuggedthenIki
ssedher
for
ehead“Behav
eyoursel
f”Sheroll
edherey
es
Igi
ggled.
MrSi
biy
a:“
Byemychi
l
d”
Me: “Bye”Theygoti ntheirseparatedcarsand
droveof finconv oyleavi
ngmesmi l
i
ngl i
kea
fool.I'
m happyt hatshegetal ongwi t
hher
fathernowandhel ovehershamekwazi seshe
i
shi sonl ychi
ldandshei sagi r
l.Daddieshav
e
softspot sfortheirpri
ncesses.Theyar esoover
protectiv
eov erthem wher easmot hershave
softspot sfortheirsons.
Ismell
edhi
sscentfi
rstbef
oreheemer
gedin
fr
ontofme.“Dudear
ey oustal
ki
ngme”He
l
aughed
Tbose:
“Youar
ecr
azy
..
.howar
eyou”
Me:“
Imf i
ne”Ismi
l
edwi del
yIdi
dn'
twanthi
mto
seethatwhathei
str
yingtodoiswor
king“
You”
Tbose:
“I
m al
sof
ine”
Me:“
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng”Iwasl
eani
ngwi
thmy
backagai
nstmycar
.
Tbose:
“Wel
lIwi
ll
dri
veyou.Mycarisint
he
car
washIwil
lcomeandcoll
ecti
tlat
e”
Me:
“I
m notgoi
ngwher
eyouar
egoi
ng”
Tbose:
“Howdoy ouknowwher eam Igoi
ng”
Hesmirked.Mxm donthegetahi
ntIdon'
twant
togowithhim.
Me:“Imaynotknowwher eyouaregoingbutI
knowwhereI'
m am goingisabsolut
elynot
whereyouaregoing”It
urnedaroundhe
grabbedmyarm
Tbose:
“WhydoIsensel
i
key
our
unni
ngaway
f
rom me”Real
l
ythi
sdude.
Me:
“Ar
eyoubei
ngf
orr
eal
rightnow”
Tbose:
“OkayIseei
tsaboutl
astni
ghtneh”
Me:“
Howcanyouconf essyourf
eel
i
ngst
ome
andfuckmysi
steraf
terthat
”
Tbose:“
Iconfessedmyfeel
ingsf
oryoucozI
hadtotell
youthereasonwhyIhavebeen
di
stanttoyouKat”
Me:
“Okayl
etmego”
Tbose:
“Youar
emadatme”
Me:
“NoI
'
m not”
Tbose:
“KatlookIt
oldyouhowIfeelaboutyou
cozyoudeservet
oknowbutIknowt hatyour
hear
tbelongtoPKhenceIdon'
texpectyouto
l
ovemeback”
Me:
“Soyouwer
enotusi
ngmysi
sterf
ormet
o
bej
eal
ous?”
Tbose:
“Ar
eyouj
eal
ous?
”
Me:
“NocanIgo”
Tbose:“
Youaremadatmet hatIsleptwi
thher
.
I
'm sorr
yIdi
dn'tt
hinkyouwillbemad.KatIlov
e
youokaywithall
myhear tbutwithyouIcan
neverbehappyasy ourhear
tbelongtoPK”
Me:
“Kuhl
e'
shear
ttooandhei
sdeadmos”
Tbose:
“PKbr
okeKuhle'
shear
ttwice.She
cheat
edonherandchoseyouoverher.Soonor
l
atershewi
ll
mov eon”
Me:
“Soy
ousay
ingt
omei
tshery
ouwant
”
Tbose:
“Idi
dn'
tknowIhav
etochoose”
Me:“
Youknowwhatf or
getabouti
t”If
reedmy
ar
mf rom hi
shand.
Tbose:
“Kat”Hepressedmeagai nstmycarand
cuppedmyf ace“Youarecr
ying”Ididn'
tev
en
real
i
zeIwascr yi
ng.“
Tell
mewhatt odoyou
wantmet odoplease”
Me:
“Gi
veKuhlethelov
eshedeser
vedon'
ttoy
wi
thherhear
t.
”Iremovedhi
shandsonmyf ace
Tbose:“
Kat.
..
”Igotinmycarandstart
editt
hen
droveoff
.Tearsfal
li
ngdownmyf aceIdon'
t
knowwhyIwascr y
ingbutmyheartwassore.
Myphoner angitwasconnect
edtothe
Bluet
ooth.
Me:
“Yebo”Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Si
hle:
“Ican'
tfi
ndhi
m si
sIdon'
tknowwhereis
heIaskedMzeetheal
sodon'
tknowwhereis
hethi
sisnotli
kehi
m”shecri
ed
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyou?
”
Si
hle:
“Myhousey
oursoni
sal
soher
ewi
thme”
Me:
“I
m comi
ngr
ightnow”
Si
hle:
“Okay
”shesni
ff
edandhungup.
Ihavebeent oSihl
e'shouset wi
cebutIhav e
nevermetherhusband.AsIwasdr ivi
ngbyI
sawmom' scarparkedoutsideoft hegateof
somer andom house.Icouldnev ermi st
akeher
blackVolvoXC40 i t
sevenper sonalized
MommyQueen3.
Shegotoutoft hecarasanunf ami l
i
arman
walkedoutoft hegate.Theysharedahugt hen
theywalkedi nsidethegatethemanf ol
lowing
behindstaringatherbi gass.Nomom wi l
l
neverdot hattodadorwi l
lshe?Theycouldbe
businesspar t
ner sr
ight?Iwast emptedto
walkedinsidebutIdeci dedagainsti
t.
WhenIar
ri
vedMagreeopenedt
hegateforme.
Idr
ovei
nsi
deandparkedmycar.Ist
eppedout
andmademywayinsidet
hehouse
Me:
“SawbonaMa”
Magr
ee:
“Yebosi
showar
eyou”
Me:
“I
mfi
neMahowar
eyou”
Magr
ee:
“I
mfi
net
oo”
Me:
“Uphi
uMamawekhay
a”
Magr
ee:
“Herbedr
oom”
Me:“
Thanky
ou”Iwalkedt ot
hestair
caseand
wenttot
hemasterbedroom.Iknockedonce
shesai
dImustcomei n.Iwal
kedinsi
deand
cl
osedt hedoor .“
Heysis”Iwalkedtoherbed
andsatnextt oher.Hereyeswer er
edandher
nosetoo“ Sshdon'tcry
”Ipull
edherheadt omy
chestandst rokedherback“Di
dy outr
ythe
poli
cestations”
Si
hle:
“Yeswhati
fsomet
hingbadhappenedt
o
hi
m”shesobbed
Me:“
May behewentsomewheretodigest
ever
ythi
ngthat
'shappeni
ng.Whatdoeshi
snew
sonsaydidyoucheckonhim”
Si
hle:
“YeshesawhimthelastIsawhim.Icame
backwithhi
m hewasdischar
gedtoday”
Me:
“Youmeanher
eint
hishouse?
”
Si
hle:
“Yes”
Me:“
Doyout
rusthimthough.Whyaf
terhe
showsupVi
nvanish”
Si
hle:
“Hel
ooksi
ncer
esi
s.Lami
andhi
m
cl
i
cked”
Me:
“Oneoft
heseday
sthatboywi
l
lbe
ki
dnappedheusetonotli
kestr
angersbutnow
hesurpr
iseme.Ihopeheisr
eall
ysincer
ecozif
hedaretouchmysoninsomekindaway
ngi
zomsikaamasende”(
Iwil
lcuthi
sballs)She
l
aughed
Sihle:“
Mar ayouthough”Herphonerang
“Twi nni
e..
.whatIcan'
thearyoustopcry
ing.
..oh
myGod. .
.wearecomi ngri
ghtnow”Herface
turnedpaleimmedi at
ely
Me:
“Whati
sgoi
ngon”
Sihle:
“Weneedtogotothehospi
tal
Inahav
e
beenshotsit
slooksr
eal
l
ybad”myhear t
skippedabeat.
Me:“OhmyGodwhoshothi
m”Iaskedwit
ha
shakyvoi
cet
ear
sgl
ist
eni
nginmyey es
Si
hle:“
HowwillIknowIssyl
et'
sgo!”shesai
d
wi
thacr y
ingvoi
ce.Withi
nminuteswewere
dr
ivi
ngtothehospit
al.
•
NARRATED
•
Aladywal kedi
nt heladi
esandj umpedupwi th
shockasshesawawomanl yi
ngont hefloor
.
Sher antoherandsquat t
edthenshookher .
Kuhlekonkeopenedherey eslazil
yshewasso
weakandsor eshecoul dn'
tmov e.Thelady
pani
ckedwhenshesawt hatsheispregnant
andshehadbr uises.Shelookedfamili
arinher
eyes
Lady:“
Kuhl ekonke!
”Shegaspedandwenttocall
helpwithinmi nut
esKuhl
ekonkewasattended
theywer ethosewhower etaki
ngavi
deoof
whatwashappeni ngandthosewhofel
tsorry
forher.
Theyrushedhert othehospitalshegoti
nt here
shewasst il
lconsci
ousblinkinglazi
ly
.Justthen
herfi
ancéwasal sobeingr ushedtoERshewi ll
nevermistakehim evenonadeat hbedcovered
wit
hblood
Kuhlekonke:“
OhmyGodNkosi namandl
awhat
happenedt ohim ”shecr
ied
“
Cal
m down”
Kuuhlekonke:“
Thatmyf i
ancé? ”shecri
ed
pai
nfull
yast heyrushedwithherf i
ancé.Shefel
t
gui
lt
yI fonlyshet ol
dthetruthnoneoft hese
wouldhappened.Theywer ef orcetosadateher.
Wakheandhi schil
drenarr
ivedinthehospital
andenquiredt heyweretol
dt owait.
Wakhe:“
Whathappenednt
ombazane!
”Pr
omi
se
cr
iedl
oudershewasscar
edoft
hisman.
Si
hle:
“It
sokaysi
scal
m downandt
ell
us”
Pr
omi
senar
rat
edwhathappened.
Issy:
“Whoeverdi
dt hi
swi l
lknowwhoam I ”She
wipedhertear
svigorousl
y.Wakhelookedather
andhewasamazedathowhi sdaughter
i
nherit
edalmosteverythi
ngfrom hi
m butit
bothershi
m cozhewanthi spri
ncesstobea
typi
calgir
l.
Wakhe:
“IssyIwi
l
ltakecar
eoft
his.
..
”
I
ssy
:“Butdaddy
..
.”
Wakhe:“Canyoubelikeot
hergirlsforonce
pleaseIunder
standthaty
ougr ewupknowi ng
thatyouhadtotakecareofyourselfbutnow
youhaveme, usall
owust oprotectyouokay!”
I
ssynodded
Si
hle:
“Wher
e'smom”
Wakhe:“Ihavebeent r
yingtocallherbuther
phoneisoffIdon'tknowwhati sgoingon!
Whatifthepeopl
et hatshotmysonhav eher!
”
Hepunchedt hewallhurti
nghisknuckles.He
waslosi
nghismi ndeachpassi ngsecond.
Kuhl
e:“
Dady
ouar
ehur
ti
ngy
our
sel
f!
”
Issywantedt
otel
lthatshesawherbutdeci
ded
againsti
tast
hiscoul
dexacerbat
ethesit
uat
ion.
Mj:
“Letmetryher”Hesaidcall
inghismom but
herphonesenthim st
rai
ghttovoicemai
l“I
tsnot
l
ikemom toswitchoffherphone”
I
ssy
:“Maybeherbat
ter
ydied”Aft
erwhatf
elt
l
i
kefor
everthedoct
orcametothem.
Doc:
“Nkosi
namandl
aSi
thol
e”
Wakhe:
“Doct
or”
Doc:“
Heisincomawer emov ed3bul l
etswe
sti
l
lhavetoremovedotherbull
etsImustsayhe
wasluckytheot
herbul
letwasf ewcentimeter
s
awayfrom hi
sheart
”Thegirl
sbur sti
ntoaloud
sob.Mjcomfort
edthem all
tearsroll
i
ngdown
hi
scheeks
Wakhe:
“Howmanybul
l
etsi
nal
l
”
Doc:“
5”Wakhepressedhi
seyescl
osedand
fl
i
nchedhisf
ist
s“Thatwil
lbeal
lIwil
lkeepy
ou
updated”
Wakhe:“Thankyoudoc”Thedocsmiledand
di
sappeared.Wakhetookouthi
sphoneand
i
nfor
medhi sparent
s.Thencall
edoneofhis
guy
“
MrS”
Wakhe:
“Ineedguar
dssomemother
fuckertr
ied
toki
l
lmyson.Iwanttwoher
eint
hehospital
and6athome”
“
Im oni
tMrS”
Wakhe:
“Mywi f
ewentt ocol
lectsome
documentsatMZConst r
uct
ionCompanybut
nowsheisunreachabl
emakesur eshei
ssaf
e
andsound!”
”
Sur
eMrS”

[
06/
01,
14:
44]W:
67
MZWAKHE
•
IwonderwhatwasGodthinki
ngorwhatwas
hi
spurposeaboutme.Ngabeukubaisbonel
e
sokuhl
uphekai
smypurpose?WillIdi
e
suff
eri
ng?
Will
everyoneinmyl i
fewhosupposet obewi th
met ur
nt hei
rbackonme?It houghtMrZwane
i
ssincere.Ithoughthewantust owor konour
rel
ati
onshipIguessIwasgul li
ble.Hehav en'
t
camet oseemet helastdayIsawhi m was
whenthatbeaut i
fulladywal
kedi n.It
hinkit'
s
hiswif
ebutshei sy oungveryyoungImustsay .
TodayI'
m bei
ngdischar
gedbutIhav
enowher
e
togoandIhavenoone.Heshouldhavel
etme
stayi
nNewcastl
e.Iknownooneherehowwil
lI
survi
ve.
Me:“Myl egi
spai nfuldoc”Thatwasal i
eI
want edhimt okeepmel onger
.Hospit
alli
feis
betterthenthelifeoutside.Atl
easthereIgetto
bath,eatandsl eepwhi char et
hingsIhaven'
t
beendoi ngsincemyshackwasdest r
oyed.
Doc:“
Thepil
l
sarest
il
lwor
kingsoont
hepai
n
wil
lbeeased”
Me:
“Idon'
tthi
nkI
'
mreadyt
ogodoc”
Doc:
“Tr
ustmey
ouwi
l
lbef
ine”
Me:
“Ihav
epai
ninmyneck”
Hesi
ghed
Doc:
“Okaywhati
sgoi
ngonMrZul
u”
Me:
“Not
hingI
'
minpai
n”
Doc:
“I
fIknewbet
terI
'
dsayy
oudon'
twantt
o
gohome”
Me:
“Idon'
thav
eahome.Iknownooneher
e”
Thel adyfrom t
hatdaywal
kedi
n.Shei
sareal
l
y
beautif
ulyell
owwomanwi t
hall
thecur
vesi
n
thei
rplace.Damn.
”
Hel
l
o”Wegr
eet
edherback“
Howi
sthepat
ient
”
Doc:“
Heisfi
neIm di
schar
ginghi
mtodaybuthe
doesn'
twanttogohome”
“Hawwhy ”shel ookedatmemaki
ngmetolook
down.Icouldn'tmaintai
ney
econt
act
.Shei
s
toobeaut
ifulformyey es
Doc:
“Hesayhehasnowher
etogo”
“Hewaspl ay
ingwi t
hyoudoc”Shefor
ceda
giggl
e“IguessIcameattheri
ghtti
me.Thank
youdocforev er
ythi
ng”
Doc:
“I
tsmyj
obMi
ss.
..”
“
MrsZwane”
Doc:
“Ohy
ouar
emar
ri
ed”
Shel
aughed.
“KushuthIhavetotel
lmyhusbandt obuymea
newr ingcozthi
sisnolongershi
ningf
or
everyonetosee”Theybothlaugh
Doc:“Ni
cetomeety
ouMr
sZwane”Het
hen
walkedout
“Youwantmet ohelpyou”shedidn'
twai
tfor
met oanswershehelpmegetoutofbedshe
smelldel
ici
ous.Icoul
deather.Shesi
gnedme
outweleft.
“
Im Sqal
esi
hley
ourf
ather
'swi
fe”
Me:
“MzwakheZul
u”
Si
hle:
“Whenl
astdi
dyouseey
ourf
ather
”
Me:
“Thedayy
oucame”
Sihl
e:“
Godwher ei
shekant i”Shesighed“ Ialso
sawhimt hatdaysincethen.Somet hi
ngi snot
ri
ght”OhLor dMzwakhei snevermeantt obe
happyIshouldhavedied.Wear r
ivedtothis
beauti
ful
mansi onwow..Luxurylif
eItell
itst he
houseKatandIuset odr eam about
Me:
“Youhav
eabeaut
if
ulhouse”
Sihl
e:“
Thankyou”Wemadeourwayi ni
tsev
en
morebeauti
fulinsi
de.Twoboy
scamerunni
ng
tohugSihl
e.“Ki
dswher ei
sMagree”
Myeyeswerefi
xedtotheotherboyIcouldn'
t
bel
i
eveit
.Helookexactl
ytheboyIsawoni nsta.
Myson.Whereishi
smom?Whati sgoingon
her
emyheartstar
tedbeati
ngfastcoul
dthisbe
atr
ap.
If
eltsomeonenudgi
ngmeIsnappedoutofi
t
“
Arey
ouokay
”
Me:
“Ye.
.y
es.
”
Si
hle:
“Boy
sthi
sisuncl
eMzwakhe”
“
Hel
l
o”t
heysai
dcheer
ful
l
y
Me:
“Hal
oboy
swhaty
ournames”
“
Im Sbani
set
hu”
“
I'
m Thembal
ami
”
Me:
“Ni
cet
omeety
ouboy
s”
Lami
:
“Car
rymeUncl
e”
Sihl
e:“
Unclei
swal
ki
ngwi
thcr
utchesboyhe
can'
tcarr
yyou”
Me:“
Ithi
nki
fIsitdownIcan”Sheledmetot
he
l
ounge.Wegreetedt
hewomant henwesat
down.
Lami :
“Ngi
thatheke”(carryme)Ichuckledmy
heartwaspoundi nghar dIdon'tknowwhywasI
sacred.It
ookhi m andpl acedhim onmy
uninj
uredleghenest ledhisheadagainstmy
chest.Iwrappedmyar msar oundhisti
nyyet
chubbybodyohboyt
hatwast
hebestf
eel
i
ng
ever
.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Wehav ebeenhereinthehospi
tal
fort
wohours
mymi ndisreel
ingwit
hthought
s.Whowantmy
twi
nbr ot
herdead?Heissuchagoodhear
ted
guy.
I'
m soy ear
ningtoseet hebast ardthatdidthis
youseePhuml a'
sdeat ht hatissmal lwaters
compar edtowhatI '
ddot ohim orherbutdaddy
saidhewi l
ldealwitht hissoIwi llbeagoodgi r
l
andbackof f.Iwonderwher emom i scoul dit
bepossi bl
ethatshei sbusyf uckingt hatman
whilehersonisfightinghi sli
feint hehospital
?
Nahmanmom wi l
lnev erdot hattodadImean
shelovehim somuchandy oucoul dseet hat
sheishappywi thdaddyIdon' tthinkshewi ll
cheatsowhoi st hatman?Whyar ethey
meetinginthathouse?Ihear ddadtalki
ngon
thephonesay i
ngshewentt ocoll
ectsome
documentsatwor k?Ihopeshei snotcheat i
ngI
don'
tevenwantt oimagi nehowbr okendaddy
wil
lbewhenhef i
ndout .Hewi l
ll
it
erall
ydiethe
manlov emamaguy s.Het r
eatherli
keagl ass
andshepr ai
sethegr oundshewal kon.
It
ssobeaut if
ulmom i st r
ulyblesstohav ehim
shewi l
lbe1000t imesst upidtohur thi
ml i
ke
that.Daddyi sthatkindamanev erywomenor
girloutther ewisht heirhusbands, men,
boy fri
endswer eli
kehi m.Hei sadr eam.Ihope
Godwi llblessmewi thamanl i
kehi m oneday
sincehet ookmyPK.Despi teofthisonebi g
mi stakehedi dhewasagr eatlovertome, a
greatbr othertoThandoandgr eatfathertomy
son.Hewi ll
foreverholdaspeci alplaceinmy
hear t.
Daddywaspacingupanddownmaki ngendl
ess
cal
lshewasreall
ylosi
nghi
smi ndhewaseven
sweati
ngmindyouitwasstar
ti
ngtobecold.
Kuhl
ewasinSihl
e'
sarmscryingwhi
leMj
was
pr
essedagai
nstmychestsnuff
li
ng.
Kuhl
e:“
Ineedt
hedunny
”
Si
hle:
“Iwi
l
lgowi
thy
ou”Theybot
hst
oodupand
di
sappear
ed
Dad:
“Dammit!
!!
”Her oar
edandhungup“Mjson
comehere”Mjstoodupandwalkedt
odaddy.
Theybothdi
sappear
ed.Itookoutmyphone
andcal
ledThando
Thando:
“Heysi
s”
Me:
“Heybabyu-
shar
p?”
Thando:
“Yeahy
ouguy
s”
Me:“
Wear
enotokayI
nawasshot
.Hei
sin
coma”
Thando:
“OhmyI
m comi
ngr
ightnow”
Me:“
Nodon'tspendt
imewi
thDaddyIwi
l
lkeep
youupdat
ed”
Thando:
“OkayI
'
m sor
rysi
shewi
l
lpul
lthr
ough”
Me:
“Hehav
eto.I
sDaddyt
reat
ingy
ouwel
l
”
Thando:“Yeahwehadagr eatti
me.Hetookme
togol dr
eefcit
yaf tert
hatwewenttowatcha
mov ie.I
twasr eall
yfun”Icoul
dheari
nhervoi
ce
thatsheisreallyhappyandthatbr
oughtasmi
le
throughmyt ears.
Me:
“I
m sohappyf
ory
ousl
aybabe”
Thando:“
Thankyouslayqueen.Iwi
l
lprayf
or
buti
Ina.Stayst
rongdon'
tstr
essthebabyokay
”
Me:“
Thankyousis”Isawmom wal
ki
ngi
n“Iwi
l
l
cal
lyoul
aterneh”
Thando:
“Sur
e”Ihungupandr antomom
thr
owingmy sel
finherarmsshewr appedher
armsaroundmybodyt ight
ly.Shewasreeki
nga
man'sscent
.
Mom:“WhatisgoingonIssyIgotyourdad'
s
messagesthatsayImustcomet othehospit
al”
Me:“I
tsI
naMamahewasshot
.Hei
sincoma”I
sobbed
Mom: “
Ohlord”Ipull
edbackandlookedather
tr
emblingsel
ftearscomingoutofhereyes.For
amomentt hereIthoughtshewi
llf
aint
.Ihel
d
herhandandmadehersi tdown.
Me:“Hewillbeokaymom y ouneedtobreath”
Shewasgaspi ngforair“
Breat
hinandout ”she
didasIsaidIwenttof et
chwaterforher
.
“Dri
nk”herhandswereshakingtheycouldn't
holdthegl
asssoIhel pedherdri
nkthewat er
Mom:
“Wher
eisy
ourf
ather
”
Me:“Iwil
lgocal l
hi m hewentout .Please
borrowmey ourcarkey sthere'
ssomet hi
ngI
wantinside”Shegav emehercarkey sIranout
andwentt ohercar .Iknowsheusual lykeep
someofhercl ot
hesi ntheboot .Itookhercoat
andskippedi nsi
de.“Her e”Shelookedatme
“Lendodaonukay onay enzaInhli
ziyoyami
i
canuzele”(Thesmel l ofthemani nyoumake
menauseas)Isai dfrowningthatwasn' ttr
ue
thoughsheswal lowedhar dandt ookthecoat
t
henwor
eit
.Kuhl
eandSi
hlecamet
ous
Kuhle:
“Mom ar
ey ouokaywehav
ebeencal
li
ng
you”shesai
dwr appi
ngherar
msaroundmom
Mom:“
YesI'
mfi
nemychil
d”shesmil
edfai
ntl
y
t
ear
sfall
i
ngdownherf
ace.DadandMjwal
ked
i
n.
Reli
efsurgethroughdaddywhenhi
sey esmet
Mama.Shegotupandwentt ohisopenar ms.
Hesqueezedhert ight
lyi
nhi
sarms“ I
m sorry
youcouldn'
treachmemybat ter
ydied.Ihada
puncher”
Dad:“
Aslongasyouar
eokaymybaby”He
pul
ledherbackandwi
pedhert
ear
s.
Mom: “
Iwantt
oseemysonWakhewhat
happendwhoshothi
m?”shecr
ied
Dad:“
Iwil
lfindwhoeverdidt
hisIpromi
seandI
wil
ldealwit
hhim.Wear est
il
lwaiti
ngf
orthe
secondupdatefrom t
hedoctor.Theyr
emov ed
3bull
etsthere'
stwoleft”Mom cri
edharderher
kneesf
ailherdadcatchherandmadehersi t
downthensatdownnextt oher.“Hewil
lpul
l
thr
oughmyl ovepl
easedon'tcr
y .Weservethe
l
ivi
ngGodandwer ai
sedastrongboythere”He
sai
dstroki
ngherback
Mom: “
Im notarev
engeful
personbutwhenyou
fi
ndwhoev erdi
dthiski
l
lhim.Mysonis.
..
”she
bursti
ntosob
Dad:“
It
sgoingtobeokaybabysshh..
..
Idon'
t
knowyetwhotri
edtokil
lmysonsoatt he
momentwegoi ngtobeunderti
ghtsecuri
ty.
Twoguardsarecomingtoprot
ectmyson.
Ther
ewillbesi
xathome.Eachanev er
yoneof
youwil
lhaveaguardwherev
eryouare”
Mj
:
“Tj
o”
Me:“Noway sdadhowcanIf ar
twhenther
e'sa
guardfol
lowingmearound”Theyl
aughed
exceptdad.
Dad:
“Nkosist
handi
l
eI'mtalki
ngaboutaser
ious
matt
erhere.All
ourli
vescoul
dbeindanger
pl
easebearwi
thmeunt
ilIsor
tthi
sout
”
Me:
“I
m sor
rydaddy
”
Dad:“Si
hleyourhusbandwil
l pr
otectyou,
Konke
andthekids.Pl
easetell
him aboutthematterat
hand”
Si
hle:
“Uhm myhusbandi
s..
is.
.mi
ssi
ngdaddy
”
Dad:
“Whatdoy
oumeanhei
smi
ssi
ngnow”
Si
hle:
“Hei
snowher
etobef
ound”shesai
dwi
th
acryi
ngvoi
ce
Mom:
“Di
dyout
wof
ight
”
Si
hle:
“Ki
ndofbuthehasnev
erdonethi
sbef
ore
Mama.Whatifhei
sdeadsomewhere.
..
”
Mom:
“Haydontt
alkl
i
ket
hat
”
Dad:
“Tj
oHaike.
..
Theny
ouhav
etost
aywi
thus
t
il
lIsor
tthi
s”
Sihl
e:“
Umht her
ealreasonwehadafi
ghti
t'
s
abouthissondad.Hewi l
lbest
ayi
ngi
nthe
house”
Dad:
“Pl
easet el
lmehecheatedonyouIhav
e
beenpat
ient
lywait
ingf
orfucki
nghi
m up”
Sihl
e:“
Geedadnohedi
dn'
tcheatt
hesoni
sfew
yearsy
oungert
henme”
Dad:
“Comewi
thhi
mthen”
Si
hle:
“Letmegot
hen”
Kuhl
e:“Iwi
ll
comewithyouhospi
tal
smakeme
si
ck”Theybothst
oodup.
Dad:“
Spi
roi
soutsi
deSi
hlet
ell
himt
otakey
ou
guystot
oyourhouse”
Sihle:
“Okay”Igav
eSihl
emycarkey ssi
ncewe
camewi thmycartoget
herher
e.Theyboth
disappear
ed
Me:“WhataboutKonkeandt
hekids.She
shoul
dbehereormay beshedoesn'
tknow”
Mom:“
Let
'scal
lher”It
ookoutmyphoneand
gav
eMamat ocall
Konke
Mom:
“Voi
cemai
l
”
Dad:“
Iwill
sentsomeonetogoinf
orm her
.I
wantal
lofyouinoneroofsot
hatIcanbeable
t
oprotectyouguys”
Aft
erwhatfel
tli
kefor
evert
hedoct
orcame
backandhecouldn'
tal
lowusi
ntoseeInaso
wedrovehome.
Mycarwasal r
eadyt here.ImissedmysonI
haven'
tseenhimthewhol eday.Weskipped
i
nsideheadi
ngt otheloungewher ethevoices
werecomingfrom.Si hl
e,Makhosazana, Kuhle
andthi
sguywhohasLami ontopofhislap
whil
etheotherleghadcement .Igotashock
ofmylif
ewhenIsawwhoi she.Oureyes
l
ockedhei ssti
llt
hesamebuthei sthi
nner.
Me:“
Whatthefuckar
ey oudoingher
e!!Who
gav
ey out
hefuckenri
ghttotouchmyson!!
!”
Mywholebodywasshiveri
ngandmyknees
werewobbl
ing
Mzwakhe:
“I
'm sor
ryKat
..
..
”
Me:
“Getoutofher
e!!
!”
Dad:
“Whati
sgoi
ngonher
e”
Me:
“Iwantthi
sguyoutDad.Lamicomeher
e”I
t
ri
edtotakehim buther
efused
Lami
:
“Ha.
aMama”
Me:
“HeywenaIsai
dcomeher
e!!
”
Lami:
“IwantuncleMzwakheMommy”hesaid
wit
hacr y
ingvoicet
heangeri
nmeescal
ated.
Mzwakhe:“
Kat.
..
”Hi
svoi
cewasmaki
ngme
si
ckIbacksl
appedhi
m
Mom:“Hai
boIssyy
ouneedt
ocalm downnow”
Shehel
dmyhandasIwasabouttogivehi
m
anot
herone
Me:“
Idon'twanttocal
m downMamaIwant
t
hisassholeoutofthi
shouse!
!”Ir
oar
ed
Si
hle:
“Issyt
hisi
sVi
ncent
'
sson”
Me:“
Whaaat?
”Ifel
tliket
heworldi
sspi
nni
ng
t
hiscan'
tbepossi
ble.No“Hayhei
slyi
ngSi
hle”
Dad:
“Canany
onebecl
earwi
thme”
Me:“
Dadthisi
sMzwakhet heassholethat
i
mpregnat
edmeanddi tchmel i
keausedt issue
”Tearswerethreateni
ngtocomeoutbutI
di
dn'
twantthem tocomeout .Ididn'
twantt o
gi
vethi
sbastardthesatisf
act
ion!Seei
nghi m
br
oughtbackallthepainheputmet hrough.
Mom:
“Amen!
”
Mzwakhe:
“Khet
hokuhl
eI'
m sor
ry.
..
”
Dad:
“Yousonofabitch!
”Hewal
kedt
ohi
m
mom pull
him away
Mom:“Cal
m downSi
thol
etheboyi
sal
readyi
n
pai
n”
Dad:“Idon'
tgi
veaf
uckt
hisboydest
roy
edmy
daughter
'sl
if
e!”
Mzwakhe: “
Imr eall
ysorr
yItwasnevermy
i
ntenti
ont odestroyherl
ife.IknowwhatIdi
dis
unfor
givable.
..
”
Me:
“Damnri
ghti
tsunforgi
vabl
etakeyourext
ra
t
wolegsandl
eave.Idon'
twantyounearmy
son”
Sihl
e:“
Youcan'
tthrowhim outhehav
enowhere
togoIssy.Mom ,dadpleaseasmuchIhat
e
whathedidtoIssybutheismyhusband'
ssonI
can'
tthrowhi
m out”
Me:“
Iwon'
tleav
eunderoner
oofwi
tht
his
bast
ardheneedtogo!
!”
Si
hle:
“Wher
ewi
l
lhego?
”
Me: “
Idon'
tgi
veafuckj
ustli
kehedidn'
tgi
vea
fuckwhenhethr
ewmeandmysi st
eroutwit
h
hergir
lf
ri
end!
”Mzwakhelookdowntear
sfall
i
ng
onhisface
Mzwakhe:
“I
'm sor
ry.
..”
Me:
“Shutt
hef
uckup!
”Isl
appedhi
m agai
n
Si
hle:
“ComeonnowI
ssy
!”
Me: “
Reall
ySihleareyoudefendingthi
sjer
k
overyourownsi st
erhuh?Thisbastardchosea
ri
chgirloverme.Ilovedhisbrokeassbutit
di
dn'ttakehim asecondtoditchmef orari
ch
girl
.Ial sohadachoi cet odoexact lywhathe
didtomebutbecauseoft heloveIhadf orhi
mI
didn't.JustbecauseIwaspoorIhadt owat ch
himl ov esomeoneel seandpr etendl i
keitsnot
hurtingme.WhenIt ellhim howdoest hat
makemef eelhim hef orcedhimsel fonmeand
kickedmeoutofhi sapar t
mentl ikeIm adog.
Hedi dn'tcarewher ewi l
lwesl eeporwhatwe
willeat !EvenwhenIt oldhi mI'm pregnanthe
didn'tcar ehesai dImustgetr idoft he
rubbish. Theaudaci t
yhehav etocuddl ethe
rubbishI fIwer ehim Iwoul dbeashamedof
my sel ftoev entoucht herubbish!”Ilaughed
wipingmyt earsvigorously
Mzwakhe:
“Ngi
yaxol
i
saK.
..
”
Me:“Mom andDadI'
m notgoi
ngtost
aywi
th
thi
sassholecozIwi
llki
l
lhi
m wit
hmybare
hands.Iwi
llgoandcomebackwhenhei
s
gone”
Mom:
“Babyy
oucan'
tl
eav
e”
Me:“
Idon'twantt
ocompli
catethi
ngssi
nce
Si
hledoesn'
twantherpr
ecoci
oussontoleav
eI
wi
lll
eave”
Dad:
“Howwi
l
lIpr
otecty
ouI
ssy
”
Me:
“Im abi
ggi
rl
..
.Lami
come”
Lami
:
“Hay
iMama”
Me:
“Fusegwenaasambe!”Itookhimfr
om
Mzwakhehecri
edlouderwiggl
inghi
mself
.I
t
ookmycarkeys
Mzwakhe:
“Youdon'
thav
etogoKatIwi
l
lgo”
Mom:
“I
ssycomeon”
Me:“Mom pl
ease”Iwentoutst
rapsLami i
nthen
gotinmyseatandstar
tedthecarbefor
edrivi
ng
out.“
Thembalamiyouwantmet obeatyouup”
Lami
:
“Nomommy
”
Me:“
Stopcry
ingthen”Hewi pedhistear
sand
qui
etendown.Myphoner angi twasTboseI
i
gnoredhi
m buthecouldn'tstop“What!
”Isai
d
wi
thacr
yingv
oice
Tbose:
“Katwhati
swr
ong?Ar
eyouhomeI
'
m
comingnow”
Me:
“Dontbot
herTbose”Isni
ff
ed
Tbose:
“Katpl
easear
eyoudr
ivi
ngwher
ear
eyou
goi
ng?”
Me:“Leav emealoneokay ”Ihungup.Upon
arri
val It
ookLami andwentt olayhim onmy
bedsi ncehewassl eepi
ng.Iwillfor
everbe
gratefultoPKforbuyingmet hishouse.Iwent
downt oatt
endtheinter
com.“ Greeti
ngs”I
greetedtwobigguy s
Guy1:
“Hel
loMiss.I'
m Khuzanit
hisi
sLindani
weweresendbyy ourf
athertoprot
ectyou”
Me:
“Ohokay
”
Guy1:
“ThankyouMissSi
thol
eyoucancarr
yon
what
everyouweredoi
nganddon'tmindus”
Me:
“Okay”Iwentt
othekit
chenandopenedthe
f
ri
dgeitwasempty.Ior
deredpi
zzaandwentto
wat
chTVj
ustt
odi
str
actmy
sel
ffr
om t
hinki
ng.
Khuzaniwal
kedi
ngr
abbi
ngTbosebyhi
s
cl
othes
Tbose:
“Whatt
hef
uckman!
”
Khuzani
:
“Hesai
dyouar
efr
iends”
Me:“
Yesheismyfri
end”Hel etgoofTbose
gi
vi
nghim alookt
hendisappeared
Tbose:
“Youhavegori
lasguar
dingy
ounow”He
fi
xedhi
mselfandsatnextt
ome
Me:
“Howdi
dyouknowI
'
m her
e”
Tbose:“Ical
ledKuhl
eandshet
oldmewhat
happenedI'm sor
ryKat
”
Me:
“JustgoTboseIdon'
twantcompany
”
Tbose:“
ComeonKat ”Istoodupandmademy
waytothestai
rcasehegrabbedmyar
m and
pull
edmeclosetohim holdi
ngmywai
st“Ican'
t
standy
oumadatmeI '
m sorry”
Me:
“Isai
dgo!
”
Tbose:“I
'
m notgoi
ngy
ougoi
ngt
hroughal
ot
nowy ouneedme”
Me:“NoIdon'tneedy ou”Ipushedhi m he
ti
ghtenhisgriponmywai st“Leavemeal one
Tbose!”Isl
appedhischestov erandoverhe
heldmyhandsandsmashedhi sli
psonmi ne.I
tr
iedtopushedhi m hepulledmyl owerli
p
betweenhisteeth“Tboseeee”Imoanedi nhi s
mout hhepickedmeupIwr appedmyl egs
aroundhiswai st
.Hewal kedwi t
hmeupst air
s
•
VI
NCENT
•
Imi nthi
sdarkpl
aceI'
mt ry
ingtofi
gur eout
wher eam Iandwhathappened.Thelastthi
ngI
rememberwasdr owningmysor r
owswi th
alcoholaft
ermywifelef
tmeIdon' tknowwhat
happenedaf t
ert
hat.
Mybodyf
eltnumbIopenedey
esmyhands
weret i
edbehindmeandther
ewasar ope
aroundmyneckIwasst andi
ngonachairbutt
naked.Onewr ongmovethechai
rwil
lfal
land
theropewill
hangmet odeat
h.It
'sonl
ythenI
real
izedI'
mindeepshit
.
Thedoorswungopent hebastar
dswal kedin
withgleef
ulnesscoveredal
loverthei
rfaces.I
thoughtSiphoissti
l
linjai
lfuckyouMzeet !
!
Si
pho:
“Wel
lwel
ll
ongt
imef
ri
end”
Me:
“Fucky
ou!
”
Si
pho:
“Sl
owdownwear ecomi ngtothepar
tI'
m
sogoi
ngtofuckyou”Theybothlaughmaking
meangry
.Theyhaven'
tchangenx.
Me:“Whatthefuckdoyouwantfr
om me?”I
knewthattheywon'tj
ustl
ett
hisgo.Wewer
eal
l
supposetogot oj
ail
.
Ntando:“Yougott
abekiddingmeman.You
soldustothepoli
ceandwal kfreewhil
ewe
sufferi
ntheresodon'
tfuckingdareaskshi
t!”
Me:
“Idi
dn'
tsel
lyoudammi
t!
”
Si
pho:“
Wespendyear
si njai
lwhil
eyoufr
ee.We
wereal
lther
e!Weal
lfuckedthatgi
rl
!”
Me:
“Youal
sohadachoi
cet
orunaway
”
Sipho:
“Runawayhuhwewi
l
lseei
fitwi
l
lwor
k
thist
ime.”
Ntando:“
Youhav eabeauti
ful
wifeandchildr
en”
Thement i
onofmyf ami
l
ymademyi nsi
descold.
Howwi l
lIprotectt
hem f
rom t
heselunati
cs
whenI'm her
e.
Me:
“St
ayt
hef
uckawayf
rom myf
ami
l
y!!”
Sipho:
“Thisi
sourworl
dVincenty oudon'
tget
todemand.”Hetookouthi
si Padandshowed
meav ideoofhi
m comfort
ingmywi fe.My
bloodboil
edIwantedtostrangl
ehim
Me:“
Ifyoudaretouchmywi
feSi
phoI
'
m goi
ng
ki
l
lyou!
!”Theylaughed
Si
pho:“
VinVinwabant
wanaifIwereyouI'
d
mindmytone.”Het
ookoutacigarandl
ighti
t
t
henstart
edsmoking“ Yougoingtopayf ort
he
year
swesuf f
eredalone.Youdidn'
tevencome
t
oseeus.Whathappenedt obrot
herhoodhuh?
Whathappenedtoinjur
eoneinjureall
!”
Me:“
Yout wotri
ckedmeIdi
dn'
tknowt
hatgi
rl
wasdrugged!
!”
Si
pho:
“Thatal
ameexcuseIev
erhear
d”
Me:“
Makesur eyouki
l
l mecozifyoudon'
tyou
wi
llwishourpat
hsnevercr
ossed!
”They
l
aughed
Si
pho:“OhVinIr
epeatthi
sourworl
dnoty
our
worl
dwherepeoplel
ist
entoyouror
der
sand
worshi
pyou.”
Ntando: “
Yougoi ngtof eel whatwewent
through.Wewi l
llockyouupi nhereandy ou
willwatchust akeov ery ourli
fe.Your
daught er
'sfi
ancéwasshotI 'm goi
ngtobet her
e
forherplayingthegoodf ri
endofherfatherunt
il
shet r
ustmewhoknowsmay beIwi l
lfi
nd
my selfbetweent hoset highs”Hesmi rked
Me:
“Youasshol
e!I
'
m goi
ng.
..”
Sipho:
“Yourt hreatswon'
thelpmanweser ved
oursentenceI t
st i
meforyout odothesame.
I'
m goi
ngt obey ourwi
fe'
sshouldertocr
yon.
Ohshei ssuchabeaut iulwomanherassdamn”
OhGodt het houghtofthem touchi
ngmywife
andmychi ldrenmademesi ck
Nt ando:“Ev
ery
thi
ngwewentthroughyougoing
youwi ll
alsogothr
oughitt
oobrother
sforli
fe
ri
ght .Wegoingtofucky
ouunti
lyoufeelnumb”
Ilaughed
Me:“Youwish”Isai
dlaughi
ngbutmylaughwas
cutshotasIfel
tburni
ngsensati
on.Si
phobur
nt
mymanhoodwi t
hacigarIscr
eamedinagony
Si
pho:
“Di
dithur
t?”
Me:
“Fucky
ou”
Ntando:
“Mphi
nde”(agai
n)Hedi
ditagai
nI
screamedi
npain.
[
06/
01,
14:
45]W:
68
KUHLEKONKE
•
Myey eswereswollenandheav y.Idon'
twant
toopenthem cozI'
m scaredofther eal
i
ty.So
muchhappenedi nonedayIdon'tev enknow
howdoIf eel
.Mymi ndiswit
hInaIwonder
whathappenedtohimt herewassomuch
blood.
Whoam Ifool
ingwhethermyeyesar
eclosedor
openedt
hepaininsi
deissti
l
lther
epenetr
ati
ng
deepinmyheart
.Ilostt
heonlymanthatl
ove
medearl
yforwhatexactl
y?
Hehav enevergavemear easonnottotr
ust
hi
m.Howcoul dIbestupi
d.HowcouldIlett
hat
manbl ackmailme,f
uckmeandbeatmeup.I 'm
sodisappoint
edinmy sel
fIdon'
tevenhave
wordst osay.
Iopenedmyeyesmybodywasi npai
nbut
bearabl
epaint
hantheoneinmyheart
.Iwi
shI
coul
dr ever
seever
ythi
ngbutt
hatj
usti
tawish.
Thedoct
orl
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed
Doc:
“Mi
ssZwane”
Me: “
Doc”myv
oicewashoar
sef
rom al
lthe
cr
ying
Doc:
“Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng”
Me:
“Tel
lmemydaught
eri
sfi
ne”
Doc:
“Shei
sast
rongbabygi
rl
”
Me:“
Oht hankGod.
..whatt
imeisiti
fImayask”
Hetwit
chedhiswri
standglanceathiswat
ch
wr
ist
Doc:
“Tenpassed6”
Me:“Docthere'
saguywhocameher ewhenI
gothere.Hewasinjur
edandcoveredwi
th
bl
ood.Idon'tknowwhathappenedtohi
m but
hi
snamei sNkosi
namandl
aSithol
e”
Doc:
“Ohy
esar
eyouf
ami
l
y”
Me:
“Hei
smyf
iancé”
Doc:
“Howwi
l
lIknowy
ouar
enotl
yi
ngt
ome”
Me:“Isweardocyoucanaskanyofyour
col
leagues.Ever
yoneknowsKuhl
ekonkei
s
engaged”
Helookedatmeasi
fhei
ssear
chi
ng
somethi
ng
Doc:“
Hewasshotfi
vet
imeshei
sincoma”my
hear
tski
ppedabeat
Me:
“OhmyGodcanIseehi
m”
Doc:
“Im af
rai
dyoucan'
t.
”
Me:
“Pl
easedoct
or”
Doc:“
Im sorr
yMi ssZwaneIcan'
tal
lowyouto
seehim ”Iburstint
otear
s“I
m sorr
yabouty
our
fi
ancé”
Me:
“Wi
l
lhebeokayt
hough?
”
Doc:“
Ican'tt
ell
youthathi
scondit
ioni
sver
y
cr
it
icalMissZwane”Icri
edlouder
Iwil
lneverf
orgivemysel
fifhedieswhatwil
lI
saytoourchil
drenwhentheylearnoneday
theirpapadiedbecauseofme.Ihav enodoubt
Jonat hanshothi
mt hatbast
ard.“I
'
m sosorry
pleasecalm down”Iwipedmyt ears“Shoul
dI
gety ouanythi
ng?”
Me:“NoI'mfi
ne”Henoddedandwal kedout
l
eavingmet ocr
yhar der.WhathaveIdone.The
Si
tholefamil
ywil
lhatememor ethenbefor
e
now.Thedoorswungopent hetal
ldarkski
nned
mani nhisl
atef
orti
eswal kedin.“
Whoar eyou
whatdoy ouwant!
!”It r
ustnoonenowmay be
heissentbyJonathant oki
llme
“
Cal
m downIwon'
thur
t”
Me:“
Whothef
uckar
eyouIwi
l
lpr
esst
he.
..
”he
cutmeof
f
“
Iam BhekaI
'
myourf
ather
'sf
ri
end”
Me:
“Youar
ely
ing!
”
“
Iswearhear
”Hegav
emeaphoneIputi
ton
myear
“
Konke”sai
dthev
oiceIhav
ebeendy
ingt
ohear
Me:“
Daddywherear
eyouIhav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
o
cal
lyou.
”Icr
ied.
Dad:
“I
m sor
rymyl
oveIheardwhathappened
pl
easebestr
ongf
oryourf
iancé”
Me:“
DaddyImessedup.Ineedy
oupl
ease
comeback”
Dad:
“Iwil
lbeawayforabi
tofti
meI'mreal
l
y
sor
rythatIcan'
tbet
herewhi
l
ey ouneedme”.
Me:“
Whenar eyoucomi
ngback?Whatso
i
mportantt
hanmedaddyIreal
lyneedy
ouI'
m
al
onehere”Isobbed
Dad:“Dontcr
ypr
incessIwil
lbebackbutIdon'
t
knowwhen.Ihavesomet hi
ngtotakecar
eof
thatneedsomemet imealone”
Me:“
Nodaddyyoucan'
tdot
hat
.Cany
oudoI
t
someot
herti
me”
Dad:
“Il
ovey
ousomuchst
ayf
ocusdon'
ttr
ust
..
.
”
Me:
“Daddy
..
.Daddy
!”Il
ookedatt
hephonet
he
l
i
neended.
“Nooo!
”Icr
iedmyl
ungsout
Ifeltsolonelyagainstthewor l
d.Evenmyown
fat
herisdeser ti
ngwhi l
eIneedhi mthemost .I
needhimt obeher eforme.Hehasal ways
beenmyher oifhewasher ehewoul dhavetook
careofJonat han.Nomat terhowol dy oucan
bey oual
way sneedy ourparent
stohugy ouand
tel
lyouthatev eythi
ngwi l
lbeokay.Howwi sh
Mom washer e.Ifeltar
msengul fi
ngme
“Shhhi
tsgoi
ngt
obeokay”Not
hingi
sgoi
ngto
beokay.Iwi
sht
heworl
dcanendnowIdon'
t
wannafeell
i
ket
his.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Allt
hewaytohi
sbedroom wewerekissi
ng
hungri
l
yheopenedthedoorandpushedit
cl
osedwit
hhisbutt
.Hemadehiswayt othe
bedandgent
lyl
aymeont opofit
.Weundr ess
eachotherst
il
lki
ssi
ng.Iwantedallofhim
buri
edinsi
deofmeandt akingmetomymi ni
heavenbutIcoul
dntgothroughwit
hi t
.I
pushedhim myli
pswereswol l
en.
Me:
“Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hist
omeTbose”
Hel ookedatmewi t
hhisr edhal fhoodedey es
breathi
ngheav i
l
y .“
Whydoy ouwantt obr eak
myhear tlikethi
s.Onemi nutey ouar e
confessingthel oveyouhav eformet henextto
youar efuckingmysi sternowher ear eyou
want i
ngt ofuckme”If ailtounder standwhati s
goingonwi t
hhim.Thi sist heexact l
ywhat
brokemeapar twi t
hPKandhei sdoi ngit.
Tbose:
“I
m sor
ryKat
..
.”
Me:“Sorr
y?Yousaysor r
y?I'
mt i
redofhearing
thatwordcozitdoesn'
tchangeany t
hingtome!
I
tdoesn'tunbreakmyheart,i
tdoesn'tst
opt he
bloodthatkeepscoming,i
t'
sdoesn'thealmy
wounds.Itsli
kepouri
ngpetrolonthefir
e.
Everyt
imeIhearthatwordit
'sdoublesthepain!
I'
mt i
redofny oryny ory!Sor rydoesn' tchange
thef actt hatf or23y earsofmyl ifeIhav ebeen
suf f
eringwhi l
eIhav eaf ami l
y .Imi ssedouta
nor mal childhood, teenages.Imi ssedoutl oveI
woul dhav er eceivedf rom mypar ent sandmy
sibli
ngs.Sor rydoesn' tchanget hepai n
Mzwakheputmet hrough.I tdoesn' tuncr ythe
tearsIshedf orhim.HowcanIf or gett he
sleeplessni ght sIhadwhenLami wassi ck.It
doesn' tunmot herme.Sor rydoesn' tchanget he
painPKputmet hrough.Sor rydoesn' tbring
backmyt wins.Sor rydoesn' tbr i
ngbackPK.
Sor r
ydoesn' tchanget hef actt haty ou
conf essedy ourf eelingsf ormeandnev ergav e
meachancet odeal wi t
ht hatf ir
sty ouj ust
mov edont omysi ster.Sor r
ynev erchangea
thingev er ythingr emai nthesame!I mt ir
edof
thatwor d.Cani tjustst oppl ease”Tear swer e
roll
ingont hesi desofmyf ace.
Tbose:
“I
m sor
ry.
..”
Me:
“Di
dnty
ouhearwhatIj
ustsai
dtoy
ou.St
op
sayingsor r
y !I
'
mt i
redofev er
yone'ssorries.
Theyr eall
ydon' thelpme.Ev eryt
imewhenI
thi
nkI'm ov erthepai nsomet hingtri
gger sthe
paintheni t
sst ar
tal loveragaininfactitpains
mor ethenitdi dbef ore.I'
mt i
redofconst ant
painTbose.It riedtot alktothetherapistbutit
's
nothel pi
ngme.Inev ergetov erthepain.It
keepscomi ngbackandhauntmei t
s
unbear abl
enowIcan' ttakeitanymor e.Iwant
todie”
Heroll
eddownf
rom meandpul
l
edmet
ohi
s
chest
Tbose: “Donttal
kl i
ket hatKat.Youneedt o
l
earntol etitgo.Thist oomuchpai ny oukeep
bottl
i
ngupwi l
ldestroyy ou.Thethingwi thyou
i
sy ounev erdeal withpain.Youwant
somet hingthatwilleaset hepainormakey ou
for
getf oramomenti nsteadoffacingitand
dealwi t
hit.Sot hepai nkeeppi l
i
ngupi nyou
cozitwasnev erdealtwi thaccor
dingly.It
snot
healt
hyf oryouandev eryonewhoi scloset o
you.Anotherthingi
sy ouwheny ouareinpai
n
youshutev er
yoneout .Iunder
standt
hatyou
hadtodeal withpainaloneandbestr
ongf or
Thandobutnowy ouhav epeoplewholoveyou.
Shareyourpainwi t
hthem please.
”
Me:“Iguessthatal readylat
ecozt hi
spai n
alr
eadydest r
oy edme.I '
m damagedTboseand
noonecanev erf i
xme.I '
mt ir
edofev erything
thi
slif
eI '
ml i
vi
ngi snotwor thitsany mor e.I
alwayshav efaiththatonedayev eryt
hingi s
goingtobeokaybutupt othisdayt hepai nthat
Iwasf eel
ingy earsagoI '
m sti
llfeeli
ngi t
.WhenI
l
ookatMakhosazanaev ery
thingjustcomes
backletaloneMzwakhe.Idon' twantt hi
spai n
anymor e”
Tbose:
“ IknowyousaidImustst
opsayi
ngsor
ry
butIm sorryKatforev
ery
thi
ngyouwent
thr
ough.Iwi shyoucanheal
.”
Me:
“I
t'
stool
atenow”
Tbose:
“Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
”
Me:
“Doy
ouhav
efeel
i
ngsf
orKuhl
e”
Tbose:
“YesIdo”
Me:
“Thenwhydi
dyouev
enconf
essedy
our
f
eel
i
ngsf orme”
Tbose:
“Cozyoudeser
vedt
oknowwhyIhav
e
beendi
stant
”
Me:
“Nott
haty
ouwantt
obewi
thme”
Tbose:
“Icanneverhav
eyout
hatt
hehar
dtr
uthI
hadtoli
vewith.
”
Me:
“Yousoundsosur
edi
dIt
ell
yout
hat
?”
Tbose:
“Whatdoy
oumeanKat
?”
Me:“I
tdoesn'
tmat teranymore.Pleasetakecare
ofmysister
'sheart.Givehertheloveshe
deser
ve,makeherr eali
zewhyherandPKf ai
l
ed.
Loveherli
keshei stheonlywomani nt
hewor ld.
Youknowwhent here'
soneper sonthatshould
behappyafterwhathappenedi t'
sher”
Tbose:
“Whatabouty
ou?Youal
sodeser
ve
happi
ness”
Me:“
May
beIwi
l
lsmel
lhappi
nessi
nheav
ennot
her
e”
Tbose:“
Thatisnott
rueevery
oneofusdeser
ve
tobehappy.Iknowforsur
ethaty
ouwil
lbe
happyoneday”
Me:
“Mmh”
Thosewer ejustmeaningl
esswor dst
ome
happinesshav ebeenlookingf ormey ear
sbut
sti
l
lIthav en'
tfoundme.It hinkitshasgiv
enup
al
ready.I'
mt i
redofpainmybody ,myheart,
my
soulcan'ttakethepainany mor e.
Ifthere'
sonet hi
ngIhavealwaysbeeni
stobe
strongbutnowI '
mf ai
l
ingtobestr
ongcozI
don'tevengetwhatisthatIhav
etobestrong
for?Ithoughttal
ki
ngtothether
apistwi
l
lhelp
butItslookli
keit
'snotworki
ngoritsal
ong
process.
Apr
ocesst
hatIcan'
twai
tfor
.Ev
eryt
imewhen
Ithi
nkI '
m heal
ingsomet hi
ngtrigger
st hepai nI
foundmy selfi
nt hatgloomypl aceagai n.Ikeep
goingbackt othatplaceov erandov er.WhenI
trytorunawayi t'
sli
keI '
m notfastenough
somethingpull
smeback. I
'
mt iredIm soot ir
edI
can'tt
akeitany more.
•
TBOSE
•
Myheartbrokeintomi l
li
onpiecestohearher
cry
ingli
kethi
sandt hewordsshesai d
penet
rateddeepi nmyheart.Ireali
zeIhave
beenabadf r
iendf oral
most3y ear
ssincewe
havebeenfri
endsi tsonl
ynowIseet hatKat
haveneverhealed.
Iashisfr
iendwassupposet ohelpherheal
anddealwit
hpainaccordi
ngly.Ishoul
dhave
tookhert
oprofessi
onalhel
plongt i
meago.I
shoul
dhavemadehergetuset osharepai
n.I
shoul
dhavesupportedhermor ethenIdi
d.
Asyearskeepgoi
ngbynot hi
ngischanging.All
herwoundsarest
il
lfreshandbleedi
ng.Ifail
ed
herIdon'
tthi
nkIwi
lleverfor
giv
emy selfforthat
.
Ihaveal
way sbeenabr ot
hert
oKatshehad
nevert
ookmemor ethenassuchhenceIhad
toli
vewiththefactt
hatIcannev
erhaveher.
HerheartbelongtoPk.
Ionlytoldhert
hetrut
hcozshedeser vedto
knowt hetr
uthnott
hatIwasexpectingherto
dosomet hi
ngIguessthatwhereIwaswr ong.I
havebeenconsumedt othefactthatshewill
neverlovemebackandendedupbr eaki
ngher
heartunwit
ti
ngl
y.
Idon'
tregretsleepi
ngwi t
hhersist
erIregrett
he
ti
ming.It
sonlynowIr eali
zeIshouldhav egave
herti
met odeal wit
ht henewsf i
rstbefore
makingmymov etohersi st
erormay bewho
knowsshewoul dhav elovemebackbutnow
thati
soutoft hepicturesinceIhavealready
madeamov et ohersister.
YesIhav efeel
ingsf
orKuhl eIwantt oloveher,
protecther
,makeherfeel special
andt r
eather
l
ikeaQueenshei st
il
lthev er
ylastdayofmy
l
ifeinthisworl
d.Thebiggestmi st
akeIhav e
evermadewast osl
eepwi thKatcozev ersince
thenIcouldn'
tcontr
olmyf eeli
ngsf orher
anymor ewhenIseeherIj ustl
osemymi ndand
feelweak.Ineedtocontrolmy sel
far oundher
thelastthi
ngIwantistocauseanot herrif
t
betweensister
s.
Ili
stenedtohersobsasIr anmyf inger
sonher
hair
.Hersobst urnedintosoftsobsuntilIhear
d
herbreathi
ngrelaxing.Igentl
ylai
dheront he
bedandgotupf rom thebed.Ipickedupmy
clot
hesont hefloorandgotdr essed.Ipicked
herupandwentt oputheri nherbedroom next
toLami .
Icov eredbothofthem withcover
sandkissed
theirforeheads.Iwenttomybedroom and
pickeduphercl othesthenwenttohangher
clothesinherbedr oom bef
oregoi
ngdownst ai
rs.
Thebi
gguythatgr
abbedmebymycl
othes
wal
kedtome.
“
Ther
e'sapi
zzaboyout
side”
Me: “
Okay”Wewentt othedoorIpai dforthe
pizzaandti
pt heguy .Thesmel lofthepizzahit
mynosemyst omachgr owledinstant
aneously.
Imadeaj ui
cef ormy selfanddishupf orme
thenwenttothel ounget oeatwhilecatchingup
onTV.Myphoner angIt ookitoutand
answered“Sthandwasami ”shegiggledsof t
ly
Kuhl
e:“
Heyhowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
m st
il
lfi
nemyl
oveni
na”
Kuhle:“Weareal
sofi
neIwast
ell
i
ngy
out
hat
I
'm sleepi
nggoodni
ght”
Me: “Soearly”Iremov
edmyphonetocheck
thetime:7:30pm andputi
tback“
Whyareyou
sleepingsoearly
”
Kuhl
e:“
I'
mjustdownwithev
ery
thi
ngt
hati
s
goi
ngonit'
sdrai
ning”
Me:“
I'
m sor
ryy
ouwantmet
ocomeandt
uck
youi
n”
Kuhl
e:“
NahI ssyneedy
oumoresi
nceshei
s
al
oneatleasther
eIhavemyf
amil
y”
Me:
“Okaytrynott
ostresstoomuch.I
namandl
a
wi
ll
befine.Wedon'twantanyt
hingt
ohappen
t
othebaby”
Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
l
ltr
ywhatar
eyoudoi
ng”
Me:
“I
m eat
ingPi
zzaandt
alki
ngt
omybeaut
if
ul
l
ady
”
Shegi
ggl
ed
Kuhl
e:“
Yourl
adyhuh”
Me:“YeahandI
'
myourgent
leman”shegi
ggl
ed
yetagain
Kuhl
e:“
Idi
dn'tknowwehavet
it
lesal
readymy
gent
leman”Ichuckl
edbi
ti
ngmybott
om lip
Me:“
Welli
tiswhati
tis.Iknowyougoi
ng
t
hroughadi
ffi
cul
tti
mebutI '
m sur
eyoucan
al
l
owmet
otakey
ououtmyl
ady
”
Kuhl
e:“
WhenMrKhuzway
o”
Me:
“Whenwi
l
lyoubef
reeMi
ssSi
thol
e”
Kuhl
e:“
Tommor
owsoundper
fectf
orme”
Me:
“Ti
me”
Kuhl
e:“
Youpi
ckt
het
ime”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lpi
cky
ouupat7pm”
Kuhl
e:“
Nopr
obl
em ”shey
awned
Me:“
Sleepnowmylov
ebutdon'
thangupIwi
l
l
hungupwhenyouhavef
all
int
oslumber
”
Kuhl
e:“
Sleept
ight
”
Me: “
Yout oobaby ”Il
i
stenedt oherbreat
hing
withoutsay i
ngawor duntilIheardhersnori
ng
l
ightly“Baby ”shedi
dntrespond.Ihungupand
tookt hedishestothekit
chent henwentto
checkont hem.Lami wasawakest ari
nginto
space“ Boy ”
Lami
:“Lume”
Me:
“Howar
eyou”
Lami
:
“Imf
iney
ou”
Me:“
Im coolmyboy
”Webumpedf
ist“
come”I
pi
ckedhim up
Lami
:“LumeIwantt
opee”
Me:“
Okay ”It
ookhi mt ot
het oi
letandpull
ed
downhisJeanandunder wear.Ipickedhi
m up
hedidhisbusiness.Ipul
leduphi sunderwear
andjeanandhel pedhim washhishands“ Are
younothungry?”
Lami
:
“I'
m hungr
yli
keal
i
on”Ichuckl
ed
Me: “
Wheredidyougetthat”heshruggedhis
shoulder
s.Iwal
kedwithhimt otheloungeand
placedhi
m onthecoucht henwenttofetchhis
food.
Lami
:“Thanky
ouLume”
Me:“
It
smypleasur
emyboynoweatsot
haty
ou
canbebi
g”
Lami
:
“Li
key
ouandUncl
eMzwakhe”
Me:
“Youl
i
keUncl
eMzwakhe?
”
Lami
:“Yesandhel
i
kemet
ooLume”
Me:
“Hesai
dthat
?”
Lami
:
“Mh”
Me:
“Thati
sgr
eat
”
Lami
:“LumeIwantt
ogov
isi
tdaddyi
nheav
en”
Me:“
Onedayy
ouwi
l
lwheny
ouar
eol
dandhav
e
gr
eyhai
r”
Lami
:
“Imi
sshi
m”
Me:
“I
m sur
ehemi
ssy
out
oo.
”
Wecont i
nuet al
ki
nghei sreal
lygrowingIcan'
t
bel
ievehewasababyj ustyester
day.Later
whenhef i
nishedeati
ngIbat hedhim andputon
hi
sspidermanwar m pj
sthenwewentdownt o
watchcartoons.
Theniggawasnotsl
eepyhealmostkeptme
thewholeni
ghtj
ustwatchi
ngcar
toonsaft
er
cartoons.InthemiddleI'
dgoandcheckupon
hismom shewasi ntodeepslumberandIdi dn'
t
wantt odisturbher
.Hef i
nall
yfall
asleepI
tuckedhimi nnexttohismom andki ssedthei
r
foreheadsthenwentt omybedr oom.I
undressedandwentt otakeawar m shower
aftermyhy gieneprocessIsl
ippedintobed.
THEFOLLOWI
NDMORNI
NG
Iwaswokenupbyaknockonmydooratf ir
stI
t
soundedsofarIt
houghtIwasdr
eaming.I
draggedmysel
fupyawningandwentt
oopen
mydoor .
Me:
“Sur
e”I
twasoneoft
hebi
gguy
s
“
Cany oubor
rowusy
ourcarweneedt
ofol
l
ow
MissSit
hol
e”
Me:
“Whathappenedt
oyour
s”
“
MissSi
thol
esl
ashedt
het
ir
es”
Me:
“Whywoul
dshedot
hat
?”
“
Cozshedoesn'
twantust
ofol
l
owher
.Wi
l
lyou
gi
vemeornotshei
sleav
ing”
Me:“Wai tformeI m comi ngwi t
hy ou”Igot
dressedt henwel ef
tluckywecaughtupwi th
her.Shewasdr i
vingtoherf ol
ksflat
s.Iwonder
whoi sshev i
siti
ngwef ollowedherasshewent
upt othebui l
ding.ShehadLami i
nherarms
shekissedhi m andmadeherwayt oedgeof
thebuildingherf acewaswetwi thtear
s.My
heartstoppedbeat i
ngmykneeswer ewobbli
ng
“Katpleasepl easepleasedon' tdothatI
'm
beggingy oupl ease”
[
06/
01,
14:
46]W:
69
TBOSE
•
“
GoawayTbose”shecr
ied.
Ihaveneverbeenscaredl
i
kethati
nmyl i
fe.I
knowKatisstubbornthet
houghtofher
j
umpi ngofft
hebuil
dingwit
hLami br
ought
tear
st omyeyes.
Me:“
Katpl
easeI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou”Isai
dmov
ing
cl
osetoher
Kat
:“Staywher
eyouar
eTboseandl
eav
eme
al
one.”
Me:“Wear eheref
oryouwelov
eyouthi
nkof
yourparents,
yourgr
andpar
ent
s,y
oursi
bli
ngsi
t
wil
lkil
lthem”
Kat:
“I
mt ir
edTboseIwantt
obefreefr
om t
his
pai
ni t
stoomuch.HowlongdoIhavetol
iv
e
l
ikethis?
”
Me: “
Wewi l
lgetthrought hi
sIpromiseyou.Give
yoursel
fandchi l
drenasecondchancepl ease”
Iwipedmyt earswi t
ht hebackofmycoldhand.
Theweat herwasi f
fyandi twantedtor
ain
whichwasst rangesincei t
swinter“
KatpleaseI
l
ov eall
3ofy ouIdon' twanttoloseyouall
please.
”
Shelookedatmet hendownandmov
edcl
oser
tot
heedge“ Katno!”
Kat
:“
Imadeav owtoalway
spr ot
ecty
ouandto
beal
wayswit
hy ou.Thi
swil
lkeepustoget
her
Mommyloveyouboy ”
Lami:“
LamiloveKi
tKattoo”Heheldherwet
facewitht
earsandkissedherl
ips.Poorboy
didn'
tknowwhatisgoing“DontcryMama”He
wipedhismom' st
earswithhi
stinyhands.
Kat
:“
Im sor
rymyhope”Sheki
ssedhi
sfor
ehead
Gori
ll
a1:
“Mi
ssSi
thol
edon'
tdoi
tpl
ease.Your
fat
herwi
l
lki
l
lusnkosi
yami”
Me: “
Reall
ythatal
lyoucareabout”Hegaveme
alookIclickedmytounge“Nkosist
handi
l
eI'
m
beggingyouwewi llbeatt
hispai
n.I
tswil
lbe
al
rightIpromiseyoucomet ome”
Kat:
“Ther
e'snot
hingy
oucandot
ochangemy
mind”
Me:“
Katal
lthr
eeofy ouhaveal ott
oliv
efor
pl
easeman.Youhav en'
ttouchpeople'
sli
ve
wi
thyourmusic.Youhaven'tt
ravelt
heworld.
Whataboutl i
vi
ngt hedream wit
hKhet hokuhle
show.I'm st
il
ll
ookingforwardtowat chyour
show.Not hi
ngcanst opyounowt oreacht he
sky.Youhav efull
supportsyst
em.Yourf ather
wil
l hel
pyouwi thyourmusic.Ever
ythingis
goingtobeokaypl easeMajobe”
Kat:
“Whatyouar
esayingisnotguar
anteed”she
shookherheadvi
gor
ouslyandstumbled
Me: “
Katnooooo!”Iscreamedshemanaget o
balancestil
lhol
dingLami inherarms.“Comet o
mepl ease”Iheldoutmyhand.Lami st
art
ed
cryi
ng“ Come”Shel ookedatLami andmeI
gaveherapl eadi
ngl ooktearsfl
oodingdown
myf ace.
“Come”Iwhi speredshetookast ep
towar dsme“Yes”Shet ookanotherstepand
anotheruntil
theyreachedme.
Iengulf
edthem i
nmyar mscryi
ng“Im sor
ryi
t
wentthi
sfarpl
easefor
giveme”Therain
star
ti
ngpouri
ngonus“Letgetoutofhere”I
pull
edbackandwipedthei
rtear
sthenItook
Lami wi
thmyonehandwhi l
etheotheronehel
d
Kat'
swaist.Weal lwentdownItoldoneofthe
guystodrive.Theysatinfr
ontwhil
eIwasat
thebackwithKatpr essedagai
nstmyshoulder
andLami pressedagainstmychest.“Wegoing
totheSi
tholeResidence”
Gori
l
la:
“Sure”Thedri
vewasveryf
astandsi
l
ent
.
Uponarr
ivalweski
ppedint
othehouse.
Me:“
Morni
ngSi
sFlor
a”SisFl
orai
sthei
rhel
per
.
Sheist
heonet
hatat
tendedus
Fl
ora:
“Hel
l
oTbose”
Me:
“Ar
ethef
olksav
ail
abl
e”
Flor
a:“Yestheyareinthel
ounge”Wewentto
theloungeandgr eet
ed.Ever
yonewast
here,her
grandparentsandaunts.
Me:
“Uhm Kuhl
ecoul
dyoupl
easer
unt
heset
wo
awarm bat
h”
Kuhl
e:“Sure”Shet
ookLami
andwal
kedwi
th
Katupstai
rs
MrSJ:”Whati
sgoingonaretheyokay
”Theyal
l
l
ookedatmeconcerned.
Isatdownand
br
eathedoutl
oudl
y
Me:“Kati
sreal
lygoi
ngthr
oughadiff
icultt
ime
ri
ghtnow.Seei
ngMzwakhebroughtallt
hepai
n.
Shewantedtojumpofft
hebuldi
ngwithLami”
Theyal
lexcl
aimedi
nshock
MrSj:“
KhuzaniLi
ndani
wher
ewer
eyouwhen
t
hishappened!
”
Gor
il
la1:
“Shesl
ashedoutt
ir
esMrSwehadt
o
bor
rowTbose'
scar”
MrSj :
“Ithoughtsheisget
ti
nghel
pfrom t
he
t
herapist”Tearsfall
downherbeaut
if
ul
f
lawlessy el
lowskin.
Me:
“Shei
sver
ydamagedi
twi
l
ltakemor
ethen
f
ewsessi
onstoheal
”
Si
hle:
“Thi
sisal
lMakhosazana'
sfaul
t!
”
MrsSj
:“
Don'
tstartSi
hle.It
hinkyoursonhav
e
t
ogo.Mydaughteral
mostki l
ledher
self
becauseofhi
m hay
i”
Si
hle:
“Macomeonwher
edoy
ouexpecthi
mto
go”
MrsSj:
“I
ssyneedusSqalesi
hle.Sheneedtobe
wit
hpeopl
eshelovenotpeoplewhor emi
ndher
pai
nshewentthr
ough”
Si
hle:
“Mzwakhegotnowher
etogoMama!
”
Mr
sSj
:
“DontshoutatmeI
'
m notSbani
set
hu!
”
MrSj :
“It
hinkIhaveasol
uti
onyoucangoback
toyourhousewithMzwakhe.Li
ndani
and
Khuzaniwil
lbeyourguar
ds”
Sihle:
“ Thathousei
snotthesamewi thoutmy
husbandi tssocolddaddy.Ican'
tgobackther
e.
Ialsoneedt obehereIwil
l l
osemymi ndifIgo
backt here”
MrsSs:“
Whereishekantheneedt
otakecar
e
ofhi
sasshol
e”
Si
hle:
“Gr
andma!
”
MrsSs:“
Im sorr
ymzukul uIwon'tpret
endto
l
iket
heboyev enifheisyourhusband'sson.He
putmygranddaughtert
hroughhell”
MrsMi
ll
er:
“I
tunf
airf
orI
ssytohav
etost
aywit
h
t
heper
sonwhoputherthr
oughsomuchpai
n”
Si
hle:
“It
snotaper
manentsi
tuat
ionmos”
MrsSj:
“Okayhowaboutt
heboygoaloney
ou
st
aybehi
nd.Hewil
lbesti
l
lbeprot
ect
ed”
Si
hle:
“Whoisgoi
ngtotakecar
eofhi
m.Hei
s
wal
kingwit
hcrut
ches”
MrsMi
l
ler
:“HaaaSi
hlewhatdoy
ouwantf
rom
us!
”
MrSs:“
WakewasilayakodwaSihlengokushada
i
ndodaendal
aenezinganeezi
ngangaweay ”
Sihl
e:“
Mkhul
uyouar
ethel
astonet
otal
kabout
age.Whyar
eweevengoi
ngther
e”
MrSs:
“Mi
ndhowy
ouspeakt
omey
oungl
ady
!”
Mr
sSs:
“Ther
e'sahugedi
ff
erencebet
ween8
y
ear
sgaband22y
ear
sgab”Si
sFl
orawal
kedi
n
Fl
ora:
“Br
eakf
asti
sready
”
“
Wear
ecomi
ng”t
heyal
lsai
d
Me:
“Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng”
MrSj
:
“Hav
ebr
eakf
astwi
thus”
Me:
“I
'm notabr
eakf
astper
son”
MrSj :
“Thanky
ouf
orsav
ingmydaught
er
Tbose.”
Me:
“Nopr
obl
em si
r.Igot
tago”
“Iwi
ll
wal kyouout”saidKuhl
eassheemer
ged.
Theylookedather.Ist
oodup
Me:
“Ni
sal
ekahl
e”(
Staywel
l
)
“
Gowel
l
”Theysai
dthenKuhl
eandIwal
kedout
.
Il
eanedagai
nstmycarshest
oodcl
oset
ome
andhel
dmyhands
Kuhle:
“Youareshaki
ngy
ouneedahug”She
pul
ledmet oherar
msIheldherf
ordearl
i
fe.Oh
Isoneededthat.“
Whathappened”Shepul
l
ed
backbutnotbreaki
ngt
hehug
Me:“
Shewant
edt
ojumpof
fthebui
l
dingwi
th
Lami”
Kuhl
e:“Tj
othatwoul
dbemyGodIdon'
tev
en
wanttoimagi
neit
”
Me:
“IknowheyIhav
eneverbeenscar
edl
i
ke
t
hatmykneesaresti
ll
wobbli
ng”
Kuhl
e:“
ShamemybabeI
'
m sor
ry”Sheki
ssed
myforehead
Me:“
Mymor ni
ngstar
tedof
fasbad.Iknowthat
t
hisisv
erybadbutcanwecancelourdat
e.I
m
r
eall
ysorr
yKuhleIpr
omisetomakeitupto
you”
Kuhl
e:“
Nopr
obl
em Iunder
stand”
Me:“Thankyousomuch”Ipul l
edherwit
hher
neckandkissedher.Wewer edist
urbedby
someonecleari
ngtheirt
hroat.Webrokethe
ki
ssIlookeddownitwasMrSj .
MrSj
:
“Kuhl
egeti
nsi
det
hehouse!
”
Shel
ookedatmeandwal
kedi
nsi
det
hehouse.
MrSj walkedtowardsmemaki ngmyhear tt
o
beathar
der.Thewassomet hingscaryabout
thi
sman.I '
m notonetogetscaredeasi
ly.
“
Whatgamesar
eyoupl
ayi
ngKhuzway
o”
Me:
“I
m notpl
ayi
nganygamesMrS”
MrSj
:
“Thenexpl
aint
omewhati
sal
lthi
s?”
Me:“MrSIl ovey ourdaughtersbutImade
peacewi t
ht hefactthatIcannev erhaveKat.
Pleasegivemeachancet obethemanKuhl e
deserve.Il
ov eherandIwon' thurtherIswear”
MrSj
:
“Ar
eyousur
eaboutt
hatdeci
sion?”
Me:
“YesI
'
m sur
e”
MrSj :
“YouknowKhuzway oifi
twaspossibl
eI'
d
marrymydaughtersandthatwouldmakemea
happi
estmani ntheworl
dcozI'dknowtheir
heart
sarealwaysprot
ectedbutthati
s
i
mpossi
ble.Ihopey
ouknowwhaty
ouar
edoi
ng
”
Me:
“IknowSi
rIwontbr
eakherhear
t”
Mr sSj:
“Fory ourowngoody oubett
erI'
dhatet o
makey oust ewmeatwheni tshappensthatyou
changey ourmi nd”Hel ookedatmei ntheeyes
Iswall
owedhar dhewal kedawayafterthat
.Ilet
outabr eat
handgoti nmycart hendrov et
omy
apart
ment .Katscar edmeIguessev eryone
reachthatpointwher etheycantendurethe
painany more.Shehav ealwaysbeenstrong.
ThemomentIgoti nmyapar tmentIsli
dagainst
thedoorcr i
edmyl ungsout
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Idon'
tknowhowdidTbosesucceededat
convi
ncingmetonotgot
hroughwithki
ll
ing
myselfandmychi
ldr
encozIwassur et
hatis
whatIwant
.Foroncei
nmylifeI
'm sel
fi
shand
i
t'
sonlynowIgetwhypeopl
eareselfi
sh.
Attheendoft hedayI'
mt hewhoisinpainnot
you.Youdon'tevenfeelanounceofwhatI'
m
goingthr
ough.IoncesaidandIwill
repeat
againi
tseasyt oj
udgeasi t
uat
iononthe
outsi
dethenont hei
nside.
It
seasyf oryoutocallmeegocent r
ic,dr
ama
queenandi nsul
tmecozt hatwherey ouare
outside.MaybewhatIm goingthroughtoy ou
mayseem asnot hingcompar edtowhaty ou
aregoingthroughormay beitcanaffectyou
mor ethenit
saffecti
ngme.
Wearediffer
entpeopl
ewemani festpain
di
ff
erentl
yandpainaff
ectusdiff
erentl
y.Awise
manoncet ol
dmeast oryabouttwoboy swho
wereli
vi
ngwi t
hthei
rdrunkar
dspar ent
s.
Li
fewasr eall
yhardf orthem t
heywere
st
ruggl
ing.Theot herboystudiedhardatschool
whil
etheot herboydr oppedout.Onedaythe
boywhowasst udy
ingbecamesuccessf
ul
whereastheotheronedidn'
ti
nst
eadhebecame
l
ikehisparent
s.
Someoneaskedthesuccessfulboyhowcome
di
dhesucceededundert heli
fehewasli
vi
ng
andherepl
i
edandsai dthatwashismoti
vati
on
hewantedtogetoutofpov er
ty.
Het henaskedt hedrunkar
dboyhowdi dhe
becameadr unkardtheboyrespondedandsai
d
howwashesupposet oconcentrat
eatschool
andbesuccessf ul
whenhisparentswere
drunkards.
Samesi tuat
ionbutdiffer
entviewsandoutcome.
I'
m certai
nthatweall gothroughhar
dshipsthat
wewi shwewer enev erbornorwewi shwe
coulddiesoy ouandIar ethesamet he
dif
ferentisyouwishedandIr eact
ed.
Whatissolut
ion?Sol
utionisawayofsolvinga
probl
em ordeali
ngwithadiff
icul
tsi
tuat
ion.
Suici
dei
tsast i
ll
asolutiont
ome.I '
dbedead
andfeel
nopain.Allthismiser
yuponmyli
fe
wil
lbenomoreIwi l
lfinal
l
ybehappywit
hmy
chi
ldr
enandtheirf
ather.
Atageof23y earsIhav ebeenst olenfrom my
parents,Ihavesleptinthetoiletwithanempt y
stomach, Ihaveplayedar oleofbei ngamot her
beforeIwasev enpr egnant,Ihav ebeen
cheatedon, Ihavebeenr aped, Ihavekil
ledtwo
souls,Ihavedodgeddeat h,Ihav elosttwo
babiesandt heirf
atherthelistisendlesshow
muchpai ncana23y earoldendur e?
Youwi llf
inda40y earol
dora35y earold
j
udgi ngasituati
onasa35ora40y earol
dand
forgettothinkbackukut
hy enaatt
heageof23
yearswoul dsheorhehav edeal
twiththe
sit
uat i
on?Bet r
uetoyoursel
fwouldyou?
Ageandexperiencecounts.Youwil
lnoti
cethat
l
astyearyouuset obeangrywheny ouheard
peoplewerebadmout hi
ngy ouandwishyou
cantell
them t
ogot ohellbutthi
syearyouno
l
ongercar
ewhatt
heysayy
ouj
ustcar
ryonl
i
ve
y
ourli
fehappi
l
y
Orinyourtwentiesy ouuset osayyoudon't
wanttogetmar riedbutwheny oureachyour
thi
rt
iesyoustartt ochange.Youseet hat
maturi
tygoesalongwi thage.Ever
y t
hing
happenautomat icall
y.Ifyouthi
nkitseasyto
j
ustdecidetotakey ourli
feyouaresurely
cal
lousasthiswor l
d.
Kuhl
eranusabat
hIwasbat hi
ngwi
thmyson
whil
emymindwasfaraway.Hewasplayi
ng
wit
hbubbl
esgi
ggl
ing.Hei
ssocutebakit
hi.
Me:“
Weshoul
dgetoutnowboyt
hewat
eri
s
get
ti
ngcol
d”
Lami
:“Wai
tami
nut
eKi
tKat
”
Me:
“Wewi
l
lcaughtcol
d”
Lami
:“Don'
tbeabor
eKi
tKat”heeedade
Me:
“Imhl
olay
amiyaz”Hegi
ggl
edbr
ushi
ngmy
t
ummywithhi
sti
nyhands
Lami
:
“Ki
tKaty
ourt
ummyi
sbi
gdoesi
thur
t”
Me:
“Ha.
a”
Lami: “
Iwil
ltel
lGogoakuchat
heayngeke”I
l
aughed“ Kit
Kat..
.”Hest
oppedmidsentence
wideninghiseyesandmouthasIgasped
pri
ncesskickedforthef
ir
stti
me“Mom what
wast hat”
Me:
“It
syour
..hoooo”sheki
ckedagai
n
Lami:“
Somethingi
smov i
nginyourt
ummy
Mama”hisvoicewasf
il
ledwithpani
c“Shoul
dI
goandcal
lGogo”shamemyboywasr eall
y
worr
iedhi
svoicewasshaking
Me:“
Don'tpani
cmylovei
tsokay
.Remember
youoncesaidyouwanty
ourtwi
nni
e”
Lami
:“Yes”
Me:
“Thatwashershewassay
inghi
toy
ou”
Lami
:“Shei
sinsi
deheri
nyourt
ummy
”
Me:
“Mh”
Lami
:“Iwantt
oseeherMama”
Me:
“Youwi
l
lseeherdon'
twor
rybutnott
oday”
Lami
:“Whati
shername”
Me:
“YourTwi
nni
e”Hesmi
l
edandbr
ushedmy
t
ummyagain
Lami
:“Iwanthert
oki
ckagai
n”
Me:
“Tal
ktoher
”
Lami:
“Hel
loTwi nniear
ey ouhungry?
”Li
ttl
e
pri
ncesskickedharderthenbefor
emaking
Lamitogiggle“DidyouhearthatMamashe
ki
cked!”Hescr eamedexcitedl
y.
Me:
“Yeahbaby”Mom andgr
andmawal
kedi
n
Lami
:
“Gogotwi
nni
eiski
cki
ngcomeandf
eel
Mommy'sst
omach!
”Mom fel
tmyt
ummy
Mom:
“Woaht
hosear
est
rongki
cksf
oragi
rl
”
Lami:
“It
smyturnnowGogo”Her emoved
mom'shandsandplacedhi
sti
nyhandsonmy
tummy.Welaughed
Mom:
“Thewat
eri
scol
dnowcomeout
”
Lami didn'twantustocomeoutcozhewant ed
tofeel t
hekicksbutwehadt ogetout.Wedried
whilemom dr ainedwat erandr i
nsedthebath
tub.Wewentt omybedr oom andloti
onedthen
gotdr essed.Kuhlealr
eadyt ookoutclot
hesf or
us.Wewentdownst ai
rsf orbreakf
ast
.Everyone
wasl ookingatmewi t
hpi tyeyes.
Me:
“Canwest
opt
hepi
tyl
ooksandeat”
Aunt
ySwe:
“Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngbaby
”
Me:
“Honest
lyIdon'
tknowAunt
y”
Mkhul
u:“
Youwil
lbealr
ightpl
easeal
l
owy
our
sel
f
t
ohealmygrandchi
l
d”
Mzwakhe: “
Soy ouwant edtoj
umpoffthe
buil
dingwit
hmysonr eall
yhowsel
fi
sh!”I
chuckledi
ndisbel
ief
Me:
“Fusegy
ezwa!FUSEGI
!!
”(f
ucky
ou)
Mzwakhe:
“Ineedsomeai
r”hesai
dgr
abbi
ng
hi
scrut
chesandstoodup
Lami
:“CanIgowi
thy
ouUncl
eMzwakhe”
Me:
“EatLami
”
Lami:
“ButI
'
m nothungr
yMamaweat
e
remember”
Me:
“Okaysi
tdownke”
Lami
:“ButMa.
..
”
Me:“Hayi
maanThembal ami!
!”Ibangedthe
tabl
e.hegotafr
ightandstar
tedcryi
ng.Dad
stoodupandtookhimthenwal kedoutwit
h
him
AuntyLusanda:“
Stopbei
ngsel
fi
shmaanand
punishi
ngthechi
ld.I
t'
scl
ear
lyt
heboyl
ovehi
s
fat
her”
Me:
“Mawhyi
ssheher
elo?
”
Aunt
yLusanda:
“Heyheydon'
tcal
lmel
owena.
”
Me:
“Nx!
”Ist
oodup.
Gogo:
”Si
tdowneatmygr
andchi
l
d”
Me:
“Il
ostmyappet
it
e”Iwentupt
omy
bedroom andcrawl
mysel
fint
oaballonmybed
andcriedmylungsout
.If
eltarmswrappi
ng
aroundme.ItwasMama.Icouldt
ellbyher
l
ov el
yscent.
Mom: “ShhhI t
'sgoingtobeokayI '
m heref or
youwear eal lher
e.Allowustohel py ouget
thr
ought hispainbaby .
”Shekissedt hesideof
myf ace“Itwouldhav ekill
edmeI ssyifyou
guysdiedpl easepromi semethatt hatyou
won'tdot hatagain.”
Isatupst
rai
ghtandl
ookedather
Me:“
Ifyoupromi
set
otell
mewherewer
eyou
yest
erdaywhenwecal
l
edy ou”
Mom:
“Iwasatwor
kbaby
”
Me:
"That
'snott
rue”
Mom:
“Hai
kewhatdoy
ouwantmet
osay
”
Me:
“MaIdon'twanttoint
erf
ereiny
ouraf
fai
rs
wi
thdaddybutIsawy ouhuggi
ngsomeman
t
henyoubothwalkedinsi
dethegat
e.You
camebacksmel
l
ingl
i
keaman”Herf
acet
urned
red
Mom:“
Thenbeachil
dandst
opst
icki
ngy
our
nosei
nmybusi
ness”
Me:
“Mom ar
eyoucheat
ingondaddy
?”
Mom:
“Uf
unasi
xabanekemanj
e”
Me:
“Youar
enotanswer
ingmyquest
ion”
Mom:
“Idon'
tanswert
oyouNkosi
sthandi
l
e!”
Me:
“WhyMa?Youl
ooksohappywi
thdaddy
”
Mom:“Cany
ouj
ustst
opt
alki
ngaboutt
his
okay
!”
Me:“Justknowmom ifyouar
echeat
ingon
daddyIwi l
lnev
erf
orgi
veyou”
Mom:
“Let
'sgoseey
ourt
winbr
other
”
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Hi
ssightki
l
ledmet othecor
eandt hebeeping
machi
nemadet heatmospheresomber.Iheld
hi
shandandkissedit
Me:“
Im sorr
yforev eryt
hingbaby .Pleasecome
backtousweneedy ou.FightJobeIknowy ou
areafi
ghterandy ouar estrong.Youhav eto
comebacksot hatwecanf i
xusmyl ove.We
can'
tl
etthatbast ardwi n.Comebackpl easedo
i
tforourchil
dren.Il ovey ousomuch”Iwi ped
mytearsandst areathi m.Hi spar entswalked
i
nandgr eet
edme
Mom:
“Howar
eyoukot
i”Shehuggedme
Me:
“I
mtr
yinghowar
eyouMa”
Mom:
“Met
oowhodi
dthi
stoy
ou”
Me:
“If
all
”
Dad:
“Youar
eagoodl
i
ar”hesar
cast
ical
l
y
Me:
“Iwil
lgi
veyousomespace”Iwentt
omy
war
dIssywalkedi
naft
erIl
aidonthebed
I
ssy
:“Mf
azi
waTwi
nni
e”(
myt
win'
swi
fe)
Me:“
Twi
nni
ewamnyeniwami”(
myhusband'
s
t
win)Weshar
edawar
m hug
I
ssy
:“Howar
eyouandt
hel
i
ttl
eone”
Me:
“Wear
efi
ne”
I
ssy
:“Whobeaty
ouup?
”
Me:
“If
all
”
I
ssy
:“Yeahri
ght”Wecont
inuedandt
alkedshe
i
salovelygi
rl
.Ilov
eher
.
3DAYSLATER
Iwasbei ngdi schargedt oday.Inamandlaissti
l
l
thesameI 'm pray i
ngthathewakeup.The
Sitholef
ami lythinkthesepeopl ethatshotIna
couldbeaf terthewhol ef amilysotheytookmy
kidsandst aywi ththem I'm alsogoingtobe
stayingwit
ht hem unt i
ltheyf oundoutwhodi dit.
I'
m scaredt otellthem thetruthmay beitcoul
d
bepossiblet hatit'
snotJonat hanwhoshothim.
Mymom i nlawcamet of et
chme
Mom:
“Kot
iar
eyour
eady
”
Me:“
YesMa”Shesignedmeoutthenwedr
ove
tomyhousetof
etchmyclothes“
Shoul
dImake
somethi
ngt
oeatordrinkMa?”
Mom: “Nosi
sjustgo..
.”shewasdistur
bedby
herphone.“
Yebo...
..
I'
m coming”Shehungup
“Lookbabydoy oumindifyougohomeby
yoursel
fIwi
llf
indyouhomeIhav ean
i
mper ati
vemattert
hatIneedtoattendto”
Me: “
Nopr oblem Ma”Wehuggedt hensheleft.I
wentupst air
sandpackmycl othesthantook
mycarkey s.Iwentdownst ai
rsandmademy
wayt ot hegar ageIloadedmybaganddr ove
outaf terl
ocki ngthedooroutofnowher e
Jonat hanappear edandwenti nfrontofthecar.
Ihitthebr akehar d.Iwastemptedtor unover
him Ipul l
edof fandsteppedoutoft hecarhe
rushedt omepul l
edmei nhisarms
Me:
“Gett
hef
uckawayf
rom t
her
oadasshol
e!!”
Jonat
han:
“Imi
ssy
ou”
Me:
“Fuckof
f”Ipushedandsl
appedhi
m har
d.
Hecl
enchedhisj
awandstr
angl
edmeIgasped
f
orai
rashetight
enedhi
sgri
p
Jonat
han:
“Bi
tchwhodoyouthi
nkyouar
ehuh?
IownyouKuhl
ekonkey
ouaremine!
!”
Me:“Jo.
..Jo”Icouldntspeak.Somethi
ng
str
angehappenedhepoppedhi seyesout
bl
oodingcomi ngoutofhi smouththenhefall
myhear twaspoundi nghard.Whatisgoing
someoneshothi m IlookaroundIcoul
dntsee
anyone.Ipanickedandgoti nmycarthendrove
off
.ThemomentIwal kedinIbur
stint
otears
I
ssy
:“Whati
sgoi
ngon”
Me:
“He.
.shot
..
”Ist
utt
ered
I
ssy:
“Youneedt
ocalm andtel
luswhati
sgoing
on”Theywerei
ntheloungewatchi
ngTV.The
gi
rl
s.Isatdown
Me:
“Hest
rangl
edmeandsomeoneshothm”
Kuhl
e:“Who?
”Ibursti
ntoal
oudsoband
nar
rat
edevery
thi
ng.
Sihl
e:“
JesusKonkewhydi
dn'
tyout
ellI
naf
rom
thefi
rstpl
ace!”
I
ssy:“
Shewasscar
eduyashonj
ecomehere
mfazi
kaTwinni
e”shepul
ledmeinherar
ms
Sihl
e:“
Mybr otheri
sfi
ght
inghi
sli
febecauseof
youKuhlekonke!”
I
ssy:
“Sheknowsnoneedt
otel
lhert
hatshef
eel
badalr
eady.
”
Me:“WhataboutJonat
han?ImeanIr
anof
fand
l
efthimthere”
Kuhl
e:“
May
bedadshothi
m”
Me:“Haythati
stooeasy .I
tscl
ear
lyt
hat
Jonathanhaveotherenemies”
Kuhl
e:“
Ithi
nkIshoul
dtel
lthepol
i
ce”
Kuhl
e:“
Ya”
Theirhel
perwal
kedinwi
thagent
lemanand
pol
icemyheartski
ppedabeat
.
“
Greet
ings”
Us:
“Gr
eet
ings.
”
“I'
m detecti
veNzimat hi
sisconst
ableBhengu.
KuhlekonkeZwaney ouar
eunderarr
estfor
mur derofJonathanMnguniyouhavearightto
remainsilencean..
.
Me:
“NoooIdi
dn'
tki
l
lhi
m Iswear”Icr
iedas
t
heycuf
fedmeandmadethei
rwayoutwithme.
[
06/
01,
14:
47]W:
70
KHETHOKUHLE
•
AftertheytookKonkeweallf
rozedigest
ing
whatjusthappened.Howcant heyarr
esther
withoutproof.Sout
hAfr
icanl
awi ssome
fuckedupshi t!
Kuhl
e:“
Weneedt
ocal
lthef
olks”
Me:“
Yes”Itookmyphonef
rom t
hegl
asst
abl
e
andcal
leddaddy
.
Dad:
“Li
tt
leangel
”
Me:
“DaddyKonkehavebeenar
rest
ed”Ispoke
sof
astbreat
hingheav
il
y
Dad:
“What
!Why
?”
Me:“Formurder
eryouneedtocomebackhome
Ican'tdi
scusst
hisovert
hephone”
Dad:
“Shi
t!I
'
m comi
ngst
aycal
m okay
”
Me:
“Okay
”
Sihle:
“Konkewi
llnotsur
viv
ejailt
hiscan'
tbe
happening”Oneofthethi
ngsIloveaboutSihl
e
i
st heloveshehaveforherhusband'
schil
dren.
Nomat t
erwhattheymusthav edoneshehav e
awayt odealwiththat.Shetakest hesi t
uation
asamot heryouknowhowmot her scanbe
madaty ouwheny oudi dsomet hingwr ongbut
theywil
lsti
ll
loveyouandf i
ndar easont o
forgi
veyou.That'
smypar entswor kr i
ghtthere.
I'
m soproudofthem Ipr aytoGodt hatIraise
mychi l
drenj
ustli
ket hem.Bet r
uthf ultothem
alwaysnomat t
erhowmucht hetrut hcanhur t
t
hem.
Kuhl
e:“
Coul
ditbepossi
blet
hatsomeonei
s
fr
amingKonke?
”
Me:“
Anythi
ngispossibl
erightnow..
.Daddyis
comingIwil
lgopreparesnacksforthekids”
Iwentt othekitchenandpr eparesnacksf or
theki dsandwentt othegardenwher ethey
wer epl aying.Mzwakhewaswat chi
ngatt hem
playinghi sey eswer estuckonLami thenmov e
toCassi e.Isawt earsfall
ingdownhisface.
“Kids”Theyal ll
ookedatmeasMzwakhewi ped
histear squi ckl
y.“Come! ”TheyrantomeIgav e
them t heirsnacks
Lami
:
“Thanky
oumydear
estmommy
”
Me:“It
sapl easuremyboy ”Ibental i
tt
letoki ss
hi
sf orehead.BabyPrincessisgrowinginsideof
meI '
m afraidbytheti
meI 'm 7mont hsIwon' t
beablet odot hi
ngsformy sel
f.HowIwi sh
chocolatecakei sherethatguyr eal
lyspoiled
mewhenIwaspr egnantwithLami .I
sn'tit
unf
airt
hatwhenI
'
m car
ryi
nghi
sdaught
erhei
s
nomore.Si
gh!
Cassi
e:“
Thanky
ouKi
tKat
”
Sbani
:
“Thanky
ouKi
tKat
”
Khwez i
:“
Thanky ouKi tKat”Theyallsaidwi
th
theirsweetvoices.Theycal l meKitKatcoz
Lami callmet hat.Ishouldhav eputthatpet
namei nmyI D.Khet hokuhleNkosisthandi
l
e
KitKatMngomezul uwaPhakamani Chocolat
e
CakeMngomezul ulol I
m crazyIknow.Ibent
andki ssedtheirforeheadst heyr
anawaywi t
h
theirsnacks
Lami:“
Kit
Katy
ousai
dyouwi
l
lcal
lmewhen
Twinni
ekick”
Me:
“Shei
snotki
cki
ngt
oday
”
Lami:“Shemissme”Herubbedmyt ummy
“Twinnieyoumissmeri
ght”heranhisti
ny
handsal l
overmytummy“ I
'
m hereokaytal
kto
mephel asisi
zawhysheisnotki
cki
ngmommy
Iwanthertoki
ckmakeherki
ckpl
ease”hi
s
eyesgl
ist
enedwit
htear
s
Me:
“Shei
ssl
eepi
ngbaby
”
Lami:“
Shehav
ebeensleepi
ngthewhol
eday
wakeherupnow”tear
sfall
downonhischubby
cheecks
Me:“
Ohbabeshei
sababy.Babi
esneedto
sl
eeptogr
ow.Yousai
dyouwanttoseeher
ri
ght
”
Henoadded“Thenall
owhertosleepsothat
shecangrowthenyoucanseeherdon'tcr
y
fanozwamama”Iwipedhist
earsandkissed
hisli
ps
Lami :
“Okayke”Hekissedmyt ummy“ Sl
eep
ti
ghtTwi nni
e”Hethenranawayt ojoi
nother
s.I
couldn'thel
pbutsmiletomy sel
f.Mysonis
growingandhei sgoingtol
ov eandbeover
prot
ect i
veofhisl
it
tl
esister
.It'
ssocute.
“
Hei
sasmar
tli
tt
leboy
”Thatv
oicewi
pedaway
thegleef
ulnessonmyf ace.Ur
gnxa!Idi
dn'
t
evenlookathim Iwal
kedpassedhim he
grabbedmyhandandpul lmetohi
slap.
Me:“WhatthefuckMzwakhe!
”Itr
iedt
ogetup
helockedmemaki ngi
thardformetomove
fr
om hislap.“
LeavemealoneMzwakhe!
”
Mzwakhe:
“Let
'st
alkpl
ease”
Me:
“Idon'
twantt
otal
kyou”
Mzwakhe:
“Okayy
ouwi
l
lli
stenIwi
l
ldot
he
t
alki
ng”
Me:
“Isai
d..
.”
Mzwakhe:“
Please”Hel
ookedatmewi
thhi
s
smal
lcutegl
ist
eningey
es.
Me:“Okay
”Imov
edf
rom hi
slapandsatdown
nexttohi
m.
Mzwakhe:
“Khethokuhl
eI'
m sor
ry.
..”Her
egoes
t
hatwordagain!
Me:
“Ihav
ehear
dthatwor
dforhundr
edt
imes.I
t
doesn'
tchangeany
thi
ng”Ist
oodup
Mzwakhe: “
Katpl easel etmef inish”Ihuf f
ed
andsatdownl ookingathi m.Hel ookedso
brokenIwonderwhathappenedbet weenhi m
andPear l
.Icant el
l i
t'sdeepandi t'
sbr eaking
him apar t
.“Ther ear enowor dst hatcan
descr ibehowsor ryIam f orthepai nIputy ou
through.Ihat emy selfev erydayf orev eryt
hi ngI
didtoy ou.Idamagedy ouwomanIknowand
I'
m sosor ry.Ial l
owedpov ertytodi ctatemeKat .
Youknowhowhar dourl iveswer esowhent he
chanceofget t
ingoutt hatl i
fepr esentedi tselfI
choset ogr abbedi twi t
hmybot har msand
endedupbei ngsel fi
sh, cruel,greedy ,abusi ve
thelistgoeson.Iwi shIcanopenmyhear tj ust
fory out oseet hatInev ermeantt ohur tyou.I
hav enor i
ghtt oaskf orf orgivenesswhatIdi dis
unfor givable.Iunder standwhyy ouhat emeand
Ideser v
ei t
.Ideser veev erypuni shmentIget
forput tingy ousomuchpai n.I'm sosor r
yKat
butIhav enev erstoppedl ovingy outil
l t
odaymy
heartsti
llbeatsf
oryouIknowitssoundfar
fet
chedbuti t
str
ue.Iwi
shy oucangivemea
chancet oshowy ouhowsorryIam”tear
swere
str
eami ngdownhi sf
aceandhishandswere
shaking.
Me:“Ihatey ouMz wakhey ouputmesomuch
painevent odayI '
m st i
llfeeli
ngt hatpain.Iwas
poorIhadnot hingt oof f
ery ouexceptmyhear t
butyoubr okei tforar eachagi rl.Youchose
moneyov erourl ove.Thel ovethatwebui ltfor
fouryears.Youshat teredourdr eams.Iloved
youboyr egardlessofwhaty ouhadbutI tdidn'
t
takeyouasecondt oleav emef orarichgirl
.
WhenIf oundoutIwaspr egnantIwasso
scaredIneededy ou.Youwer esupposet olast
mef orever,youwer esupposet obemysol di
er
Mzwakhe!Youdest r
oy edus! ”Icr i
ed
Mzwakhe:“IknowI'm sorryI
'm sosorr
y.Youare
abeauti
ful
, i
ntel
l
igent,sexy,
funny,st
rong
womanKat .Youst oodbymewhenIcoul dn'
t
pr
ovideforyou.Youdi dn'
tcareaboutwhatI
wearorwhatIhav e.Yougav emenot hingbut
tr
uel ov e.Yousuppor tedmet hrought he
dif
ficul ttimesIhadsi ncemymom di ed.You
gavemest rengtht of acemyl if
eev eryday.
Manyguy senv i
edmef orhav ingy ou.Youwer e
myl ighti nt hedar kness.Youmademesawa
betterf ut ur
ewhenIt houghtofgi vingupbutI
brokey oubey ond.Iwasntr eadyf ory ouKatI
wasy oung, stupid, selfi
shandcr uel tonotice
howl uckyIwast ohav ey oui nmyl if
e.You
neverdeser vedanyoft hemi streat mentIgav e
you.I tst ookmey ear stor ealizet haty ouwer e
ri
ghtwheny ousai dt hatj obwasnev ermeantt o
bemi ne.I tsshoul dn'thav emademet ochosei t
overy ou.Ishoul dnthav eaccept edi tfrom the
fi
rstpl acecozIknewwhatcomeswi t
hi t
.I
wasn' tr eadyf ory oubabyf orgivemef or
everyt hingIdi dandgi vemeachancet orecti
fy
mymi stakes, givemeachancet oshowy ou
howmuchdoIl ovey ou, givemeachancet o
mendy ourbr okenhear t,gi vemeachancet obe
theref
ori
nyourl
if
eever
yti
meyouneedme,
givemeachancetobet
hemanandthef
atherI
wanttobepl
ease”
Me:
“Ican'
tMzwakhe”Isobbed.
Hecuppedmyf aceIcl
osedmyeyesl
ett
ingout
aheavybreat
h.Ifel
thi
scol
dli
psonmy
f
orehead
Mzwakhe: “
Prett
yplease”Iopenedmyey esthey
l
ockedhi stear
yeyes“I'
m sorrydon'
trush
atl
eastgivemeachancet oshowy ouhowsor r
y
Iam”Hesoundedsi ncerebutmyhear tcoul
dnt
al
lowmet ogivehi
m achancet oshowmehow
sorryheis.
Iwantnothingtodowi t
hhi m.I
nfact
Idon'twanttoseehim nearmeormyson.I
stoodupandr aninsi
decr y
ingeverybodyhad
arri
ved.
Mom:“
Issywhati
swr
ongwhyar
eyoucr
ying”I
wi
pedmyt ear
s
Me:
“Not
hingMa”Isatdownnextt
oThando
Dad:
“Tel
lmewhathappenedgi
rl
s”
Sihl
enarr
atedt
hest
ory
.Aunt
yLusandacl
apped
herhands
AuntySanda:
“Idi
dsaythatgi
rli
sawhor
eIdon'
t
bel
ievethi
sbl
ackmailst
ory”
Mj
:
“Sobut
igotshotbecauseofKonke?
”
Me:
“Wear
enotsur
eJonat
hanshotI
naMj
”
Mj
:
“Bul
l
shi
tmaani
t'
sherf
aul
t!
”
AuntyZano:
“Karma.Thepainmydaught
erfel
t
whenshewal ki
nonKonkeandThulashaggi
ng
i
tsthesameInafeltwhenhesawKonkebang
thatJohnorwhatwhat”
Mom: “
Whenwi l
lyoumoveonfrom t
hathuh.My
sondidn'
ttel
lThul
atocheatonBuhlewit
h
Konkewhydoy oumakeitsoundli
keit
'shis
faul
t”
Aunt
yZano:
“Iwasj
ustsay
ing”
Mom:
“Konkei
spar
tofourf
ami
l
ynowy
ouhav
e
t
oacceptt
hatokay
.”
Mj
:
“But
iwon'
tfor
giv
ehershebet
ray
edhi
m”
Gogo:
“Mypoorgrandson.Mawakhey
ounott
he
onewhoshotJohannes”
Thando:
“Jonat
hangogo”
Gogo:
“Hai
sukasamedi
ff
erence”Wel
aughed
Dad:
“NoIdidn'
tMom.West i
ll
haven'
tfound
outwhoshotmyson.I
fit
sreall
yJonathan
dammit!Thatwast
ooeasyIwantedtotor
tur
e
hi
m”
Kuhle:
“Sothequest
ioni
swhoshotI
naand
Jonathan”
Sihl
e:“
WaitIremembert
hisconv
ersati
onmy
husbandhadwithMzeet
.Theyweretal
king
aboutTheo'
sbrother
”
Mkhul
u:“
Whoi
sTheonow”
Si
hle:“
Theoisthatguywhowasfound
murderedaf
terhewaslastseenwi
thKonke
y
ear
sback”
Mkhul
u:“OhIr
ememberandt herumour
ssai
d
Zol
aniki
l
ledhi
m anddi
sappeared”
Sihl
e:“
YesMkhulubutMzeetsai
dtheyt
ook
careofTheo'
sbr
other
”
Me:“ThenItsmeansi
tsnothi
m whoshot
Jonathan.Sowhoshothi
m?”
AuntyLuy
anda:
“Thi
sismessi
ngwi
thour
minds”
Mom: “Att
hemomentIdon' tcarewhoshot
JonathanIwantKonkeback.Mawakhelomuzi
dosomet hi
ngplease.Mydaughteri
nlawwho'
s
carr
yingmygranddaughtercan'
tsl
eepinacel
l
.”
Mj:
“Sheputhersel
fthr
oughthi
sMamawhy
shoul
dwebot herl
ethersl
eepint
hecel
l
”
Thando:
“HaaMj
that
'scr
uel
.”
Mj:
“Eysheistheonewhocausedalloft
his.
Butiwoul
dntbeincomaifshetol
dthetr
uth
fr
om thewordgo!”
Aunt
yLusanda: “
Exactl
yMjthatiswhyIsayshe
wantedt
his.Thatgir
lisawhoreI'm st
art
ingt
o
wonderi
fsheisr eal
l
ycarr
yingIna'
sbaby”
Mom: “Shewasblackmail
edshedidwhatshe
thoughtisfort
hebestcuthersomeslack.
Mawakhel omuzi,
Daddypleasebri
ngback
Konkeshehav ebeenthroughalotal
ready
”
Dad:“
Letmemakesomecall
s”Hestoodupand
Granpatoot
hent
heydi
sappear
ed.
Aunt
yLuy
anda:
“Wher
eisherf
ather
?”
Si
hle:
“Hecal
l
edandsaidheneedsometi
me
al
one.Hedoesntknowwhenhewil
lbeback”
Gogo:
“Hai
bowhodoesthat?Alotisgoi
ngon
her
ehowcanhedothatdidyoufight
”
Si
hle:
“Yesgogobuti
t'
sdoesn'
tmakesenseand
hewasnotusinghi
sphone”
Gogo:“
Myl
awyerinsti
nct
sdoesn'
twantmeto
bel
iev
ewhathesaid.Howdi
dhesounded”
Si
hle:
“Idon'
tknowi
tsl
i
kehei
shi
ding
somet
hing”
Aunt
yLusanda:
“I
heeehei
scheat
ing”
Si
hle:
“Nev
er"
Aunt
yLusanda:
“Hei
samanaf
teral
l
”
Si
hle:
“Hay
iVi
nwi
l
lnev
ercheat
”
Me:
“Let
str
acehisl
ocat
ionv
iathecallhemade
may
beheisindangery
ouwil
lneverknow”
Thando:“Mj
candoithei
sapr
oint
hishacki
ng
andtraci
ngt
hingi
e"
Mom:
“Hai
boMj
youhack.
..
.”hecutherof
f
Mj:
“NoMamayouhavenot
hingt
oworryabout
”
Hesai
deyei
ngThandowhomouthed“
sorry
”
Si
hle:
“Her
eist
henumber”ShegaveMjher
phoneandhewentupThandof
oll
owedhi
m.
Justt
henDadandGranpawal
kedi
ntheydi
dn'
t
l
ookli
ketheyhav
egoodnews
Mom:
“Shoul
dIgof
etchhernow”
Mkhul
u:“
NoMakot
i”
Mom:
“Whatdoy
oumeannodaddy
”
Dad:
“Imanaget
ogetheroutt
omor
rowbabe
nott
oday”
Mom:“What?Noshecan'
tsl
eepi
nther
eshei
s
pr
egnantandast
hmati
c”
Dad:
“Iknowbutatl
eastshei
scomi
ngback
t
omor r
owmor ni
ngIpromiseMommyQueen”
Mom st
oodupandwal
kedt
odadst
ari
ngdeep
i
nhi
sey es
Mom: “
Idon'
tcareifyoumassacr
ethewhole
worl
dory oubr
ibethepresi
dentt
otel
lthem t
o
r
eleaseherIwantKonkebacktoday
Mawakhelomuzi”shesaidsocal
mlyyetso
f
ir
ml ythenmadeherwayout
Dad:
“Jehov
ah!
”Hef
li
nchedhi
sfi
sts
Mkhulu:
“Weshouldgetgoi
ngnkunzii
fyouwant
tosl
eepinthehousewithy
ourwife”Hesai
d
suppr
essingal
augh
Dad:
“I
tsnotf
unnydady
ouhear
dwhatCr
aig
sai
d”
Mkhulu:“Iwasj
ustsay
ing”hepr essedhi
sli
ps
ti
ght
lytostophi
mselffr
om laughingunti
lhe
coul
dn'tanymor
eandlaughed
Dad:
“Mxm!
”Dadwassopi
ssedweal
ll
aughed.
Gogo:
“Babazi
”
Mkhul
u:“
Mamazi
”Hesai
dlooki
ngatherwi
tha
smi
le
Gogo:
“I
fyouguy
sdon'
tcomebackwi
thKonke
don'
tbot
hert
ocomehomevha”
Nowi t
'
swasdad'stur
ntol
aughhewaseven
poki
nghim.Lol
thesetwoy
ou'dsweart
heyar
e
brot
hers.
•
NARRATED
•
I
tbeenday
snow Vi
ncenti
sst
il
lst
andi
ngon
thatchairhi
shandsti
edbehi ndhi
m andhi s
neckwr appedwit
har ope.Theybeathim up
withasjambokalloverhisbodyburnthi
s
manhoodwi t
hci
gar.
Hehadbl eedingwoundsonhi sbody.He
wantedt ogiveupashisbodycouldcontaint
he
pai
n.Ev ery
timehe'dthi
nkofkicki
ngthechair
anddieoncebuthewoul dt
hinkofhiswifeand
chi
ldren.Hopingthathi
sguyswi l
lcome
thr
oughf orhim.Hewasget t
ingweakeach
passi
ngsecond.
ThedoorburstopenNt andoandSi phowalked
i
nwi t
ha20l it
resofbucket.Theypouredspiri
t,
dett
ol andwhi
skeyinthewat er
.Siphopicked
thebucketandpourwat eronVincenthe
growledinpain.
Si
pho:
“Todayi
t'
sabi
gday
"
Ntando:
“Wegoi
ngtomakey
ouscr
eam our
names”Hesmir
ked.
Vi
ncentr
atherwant
edt
odi
ethenl
etmen
penet
rat
ehi
m.
Si
pho:
“Runofwor
dst
osaynow”
Nt
ando:
“Letgetdownt
obusi
nessIcan'
twai
t”
Befor
et heycoul
duntiedhim heki
ckedthechai
r
al
lowingtheropetostrangl
edhim.Hewr i
ggl
ed
hi
msel f
,hiseyespoppingoutashegaspedfor
ai
r.
Thetwofr
iendswer
eshockedt
heycoul
dn't
bel
iev
eit
.Thedoorbur
stopen4guyswalkedi
n
wit
hguns
Sipho:“
Whot hef
uck.
..”Theyshott hem whil
e
theotheronehel
pedVincent.Theytookhimt o
thei
rcarandpourpet
rolalloverthewarehouse
thenli
ghtit
.
Vi
ncent
:“
Whoar
eyou”Hesai
dbl
i
nki
ngl
azi
l
y
Spi
ro:
“I
'm Spi
roy
ourf
atheri
nlawsentus”
Vincentwassurpri
setohearthatheknewthat
hisfatheri
nlawdoesn'tl
i
kehim.Hei sonl
y
tol
eratinghi
m cozhelovehi
spr i
ncess.Hei
s
gratef
ult
heysavedhim buthewi shtheydidn'
t
shotthem hewantedt
ot ort
uret hem justl
ike
theydidt
ohim Theyarr
ivedatt hehospi t
aland
hewasat t
endedimmedi at
ely.Spi r
otookout
hisphoneandcall
edMrS
MrS:
“I
'mi
nthemi
ddl
eofsomet
hingmakei
t
f
ast”
Spi
ro:
“Wef
oundhi
m hewaskidnappedbyt wo
men.Weshott
hem andbur
ntt
hewar ehouse”
MrS:
“Howi
she?
”
Spi
ro:
“Hewi
l
lbef
inehei
saman”
MrS:
“Iwi
llcal
lmydaught
erandl
etherknow
t
hankyouSpir
o”
Spi
ro:
“Any
t i
me”Hehungupandwait
edforMr
S'
sdaughter.Awhi
l
elat
ershear
ri
vedand
wal
kedtohim
Si
hle:
“Spi
rowher
eishe”
Spi
ro:
“Hel
l
oMr
sZwane”Si
hler
oll
edherey
es
Si
hle:
“Hi
”
Spi
ro:
“Theyar
ebusyw.
.ohher
eist
hedoct
or”
Thedoctorbri
efedthem aboutt
heVincent
's
sit
uati
onthensheledSihletohi
sward.She
foundhim awakeandrant ogi
vehi
m ahug
Vi
n:“
Ouch"
Sihl
e:“Aski
esI'
mreal
lysorry”shecuppedhis
facelooki
ngint
ohiseyes.Shemi ssedhi
m so
muchasmuchashemi ssedhim
Vi
n:“
It
'sokay
.Howar
eyou”
Sihl
e:“
Imtheonewhoshoul
dbeaski
ngy
ou
that
.Didt
heyhur
tyou?Whoaret
hey?
”
Vin:
“Wewi
llt
alkaboutthatl
atercanIgetaki
ss
fr
om mywif
e”Sihlesmiledandplast
eredher
l
ipsonhi
stheykissedpassionat
ely“
Thankyou.
Howareyoukodwa”
Sihl
e:“
I'
mf i
neIwaswor r
iedabouty
ou.Please
don'
tdot hatagai
n”Shesatontheprov
ided
chai
r
Vi
n:“
Im sor
rybabyabout
..
.”
Sihl
e:“
NoIm sor
ryIshoul
dnthavelefty
ou.I
wasshockedpleasefor
giv
eme.I t'
shappened
yearsagoIcan'
thol
ditagainsty
ou.I'
mr eal
l
y
sorr
y”
Vin:
“Youbr
okeyourpr
omi
seMaj
obeIhav
eto
puni
shyoufort
hat”
Si
hlegi
ggl
edhercl
i
tti
ngl
ewi
thexci
tement
Si
hle:
“Ideser
vet
obepuni
shed”Shebi
teher
bot
tom li
p
Vi
n:“
Imi
ssy
ousomuch”Hebr
ushedherf
ace
Si
hle:
“Imi
ssy
out
oo.Weal
lmi
ssedy
ou”
Vi
n:“
Whatdi
dImi
ssout
”
Si
hle:
“Al
oti
shappeni
ng.Lami
isy
ourgr
andson”
Vi
n:“
Huh?
”
Si
hle:
“Mzwakhei
sLami
'
sfat
her
”
Vi
n:“
Wowsmal
lworl
d.I
'm gr
atef
ult
heZwane
cl
ani
sgr
owi
ngowsukanini
nmadoda.Wehave
t
odor
ightbyhi
smom t
hen”
Sihl
e:“
It
stooear
lyf
ort
hatbabeshehat
eyour
son”
Vin:
“Underst
andabl
e.Thanky
ouf
ornot
negl
ectingMzwakhe”
Si
hle:
“Hei
smysonngi
zoml
ahl
elakubani
baki
thi
”
Vi
ncentsmi
l
edatGod'
sbl
essi
ngs.
Vi
n:“
Younev
erceaset
oremi
ndmewhydi
dIf
all
i
nlovewi
thyou”
Sheturnedtomat
o“Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngt
he
wif
ey ouare”
Si
hle:
“KubongaminaNget
he.I
'm gl
adyouare
backevery
thi
ngwill
gobacktonormalnow.We
al
soneedt owel
comeMzwakhepr oper
ly”
Vi
n:“
Whatabout
..
.”
Si
hle:
“Wedon'thav
et otel
lhi
m babeheis
br
okenal
readyitwi
llki
ll
him.Wehav et
ohelp
hi
m heal,
makesomethi
ngoutofhi
sli
feand
getbackhisbabymamaandhi
sson”
Vin:
“Youareri
ghtt
hanky ousomuchbabyy ou
havenoideahowmuchdoesi tmeanstome
comeher e”Hemadeaspacef orhershetook
offhershoesandsl
ippednexttohi
m.Hel dhis
wifeti
ghtl
yinhi
sarmsendur i
ngthepainofhis
brui
ses.Onethi
nghehasev erdoneri
ghtwas
tomaket hi
swomanhi swifeandhe'
ddoi tover
andov er
.
[
06/
01,
14:
47]W:
71
AMONTHLATER
KUHLEKONKE
•
Idi
dn'tspendtheni
ghti
nthecellt
hatdaymy
fat
herinlawandhisfat
hercameintorescue.I
don'
tknowhowdi dtheydoitcozIwast ol
dI'
m
notguil
tyIshoul
dgo.
Ev
ent
odaynoonehav
ebeenar
rest
edf
ort
he
mur derofJonat
han.I'
m happyt
hebast
arddied
butIwonderwhoki l
l
edhim.Iwantt
okissthat
personheorshedidagoodj ob.
ImustsayIdidn'
texpectt
hesupportIrecei
ved
fr
om myin-
lawsIwassur pri
sed.Theyarereall
y
anicef
amilyunti
lyouhurtoneofthem.My
fi
ancéi
ssti
llthesameandi t
stakingahuget ol
l
onme.
Ifeel
solonelywithouthi
m andImi ssedhim so
much.Ikeepv i
sit
inghim ev
erydayaftert
he
shootandfoundhi sMamat here.
Inamandla'
ssi
tuati
onmadeuscl
osethenIev
er
anti
ci
patedsheisreal
l
yagoodwoman.Imet
mybr ot
herMzwakheandheisLami'
sfat
her
smallworldIt
ell
you.Hei
sagrandguy.
TodayIdonthaveashootIwasplanningto
spendadaywithmyf amil
y.Wearestayingi
n
myf at
her
'shousesolongInai
sinthehospital
.
Stayi
ngal
oneinthathousewasdrivi
ngme
crazy.
Ifini
shedmyhy gienepr
ocessanddressedinto
Ina'ssweatpant
sandT-shi
rt.Hi
sscentfil
ledmy
nost ri
l
smakingmet omisshim more.Iwentto
theki t
chenSihl
eanddadwer eki
ssi
ngl i
kereal
ly
kissing.
Me:“
Jesuswhydon'ty
ouguysgotot
he
bedr
oom”Theybroketheki
ssandgi
ggl
ed
Dad:“
ThatiswhyIhatehavingvi
sit
orsaman
can'
tevenmakelovet
ohi swifeanywherehe
wantinhi
shouseyerr
”SihleandIlaughed
Me:
“I
m notav
isi
tordaddyI
'
myourdaught
er”
Dad:
“Hai
sukacanInawakeupal
readysot
hat
youcango”Welaughedagai
n
Me:
“Mor
ningmom”Iki
ssedhercheek
Si
hle:
“Mor
ningPr
incesshowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
mfi
newena"
Si
hle:
“I
m al
sofinehowismy
gr
anddaught
erniece”Wel
aughed
Me: “
Shei
shungrywhatar
ey oumaki
nghere”I
tookaneggontheplat
ethatwasalr
eady
dishedupshesl
appedmyhand
Si
hle:
“That
'smyhusband'
sfoodwena!
”
Me:“
Hehav ehandsl
ethi
m makehi
sown
br
eakfast
”
Dad:
“Someonewantt
ocr
yint
hemor
ning”We
gi
ggl
ed
Theki
dscamerunningandgi
ggl
i
ngwi
th
Mzwakhebehi
ndthem
Si
hle:
“Nor
unni
ngpl
ease!
”
Sbani
:
“It
'sUncl
eMama”hesai
dpant
ing
Mzwakhe:“
Mor
ningMama”Heki
ssedher
f
orehead
Si
hle:
“Hel
l
osondi
dyousl
eptgood”
Mzwakhe:
“Li
keababy”Hecamet
omeand
ki
ssedmyfor
ehead“
Sis”
Me:
“Br
oyougood”
Mzwakhe:
“Yeahy
ou”
Me:
“I
mtr
ying”
Mzwakhe:
“Tai
ma”Theybumpedf
ist
.
Dad:
“Dawg”
Mzwakhe:“
Nonodady
ouar
etoool
dfort
hat
”
Welaughed
Dad:
“Mxm I
'
m notol
d”hesul
ked
Si
hle:
“Youar
enotol
dhoney
”Sheki
ssedhi
m.
Sihl
eandIsetthetabl
et henweallsatdown
andate.“
IwanttogoandseeI nat
odaythen
spendthedaywithmyf amily
.Wecangoout
whatdoy ousayfamil
y”
Si
hle:
“Soundper
fect
”
Mzwakhe:
“Ihav
epl
ansI
'
m sor
ry”
Me:
“Whatpl
ans”
Mzwakhe:
“Spendi
ngt
imewi
thmyson”
Me:
“Nopr
obl
em t
hen”
Dad:
“Ar
eyoumaki
nganyi
mpr
ovementwi
thhi
s
mom”
Mzwakhe:
“Ei
shdadKati
sst
ubbor
nyer
r”
Dad:
“Haymaanusey ourcharmsy ouar
ea
Zwanedon'
tthi
thi
za”Wel aughed
Mzwakhe:
“Youdon'
tknowKatDad”
Dad:
“Mjuqephansimaanpl
usshei
spregnant
makesureyouleav
eamar kshewi
l
lbegyoufor
more”(
fuckher)
Sihl
e:“
Haibothat'
smysi st
eryouaretalki
ng
about”Welaughed.Fami l
yisevery
thi
ngno
matterhowsadorbr okeny ouaretheyalway
s
makey oufeelbett
er.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Anothermont
hhaspassedI'
mtaki
ngitslowly
ever
ydaybabyst
epsal
thoughmytwinbrother
's
condi
ti
onismakingithar
dformetohealand
al
l.Heisst
il
li
ncomaandi ttakei
tst
oll
on
ever
yoneespeci
all
ymom.
Shespentdaysandnightsatthehospi
talcr
y i
ng
andprayi
ng.It
sreal
lysadIwishInacanwake
upnowi t
'shadbeenawhol emonthandwe
misshim somuch.Konkeisalsonotcopingbut
shehaveherdaddy,st
epmom, hernewbrother,
usherin-
laws.I
nfactweallhaveeachother.
GranpaandDaddyf oundtheguysthatwere
paidbyJonat hantoshotmyt wi
nbr ot
herand
dealtwit
ht hem theonl
ywayy ouandIknow.
West i
lldon'tknowwhoshotJonathan.
Whoev erdidthiscanhideshamecoznot hi
ng
l
inksust ohim.
Idecidedtoall
owMzwakhet ohav ea
rel
ati
onshipwithLami butI'
m onlydoi
ngthi
sfor
mysonIcanseet hatheisfondofMzwakhe.I
guesst hebl
oodconnect sbutI'
m notgoi
ngto
confusemyson.Mzwakhewi l
lbeUncle
Mzwakhet ohi
m unt
ilhei
sol
denought
o
under
stand.
Mzwakhedi dn'
tli
kethatthoughbuthehaveno
choiceitseit
herit
sthatorhedoesnthav ea
rel
ationshi
pwi t
hhim atall
.Sqalokuhl
eand
Tbosear edoinggoodI'm happyforthem
especiall
yforKuhleshereall
ydeservetobe
happyandTbosel ov
ehersomuch.
Thandoisnowancestr
all
yaSibiy
ay estheydid
aceremonyforhertoi
ntr
oducehertoher
ancest
orsandwelcomehertothefamily.The
Sibi
yafamil
ylov
ehershameev enthought hey
tr
eatherli
kesheis7year
soldandi t
'si
rksher
someti
mes.
Shehaveanewboy fr
iendgoesbythenameof
LoganWebbery ephei sawhit
eboyandhe
seemslikeagoodguyIhopehewon' tbreakher
heart
.Makhosazana'smemor yi
scomi ngback
sl
owlybutnotvivi
dlylet'
shopesoonItwill
be
cl
earIreal
lywanttoknowwhydi dshest ol
eme.
Thisisoneofthethi
ngsthatisdel
ayingmy
heali
ngprocessIneedanswerssothatIcan
mov eon.Iwaswokenupbycol dti
nyhands
brushi
ngmyt ummy .Iopenedmyey eshe
l
ookedupatmeandsmi l
ed
Lami
:
“Mor
ningKi
tKat
”
Me:
“Mor
ningbabyhowar
eyou?
”
Lami
:
“Imf
iney
ou?
”
Me:
“I
m al
sof
inemyboyhowdi
dyousl
ept
”
Lami :
“Likeababy ”Ichuckl
edhehasawayof
surprisingmewhenhespeaks.Hei sgrowing
upr eall
yf astIcantbel
i
evethatj
ustyester
dayI
wasi nl abourandnowhei sabouttoturn3
yearst hismont h.
Me:
“Let
..
.”Iwasdisturbedbymyri
ngingphoneI
t
ookitf
rom thebedsidetabl
e.“
Yes”
Mzwakhe:
“Mor
ningMaj
obe”
Me:
“Hi
Mzwakhe”
Mzwakhe:
“Howar
eyout
hismor
ning”
Me:
“I
mfi
net
hanks”
Mzwakhe:
“Younotgoi
ngt
oaskmehowam I
?”
Me:
“DoIl
ookl
i
keIcar
e”
Mzwakhe:
“Ouchy
oubr
eaki
ngmyhear
t”
Me:
“Saywhaty
ouwantt
osay
”
Mzwakhe:
“Iwantt
otakeLami
tot
hepar
k
t
oday”
Me:“Youwer
ewi t
hhim mosyest
erdayt
oday
i
t'
smyt ur
ntospendsometi
mewi t
hhim si
nceI
don'
thaveal
ectur
e”
Mzwakhe:
“Okaynopr
obl
em t
hen.
..wher
eishe
canIt
alkt
ohim”
Me:
“Sur
e..
.Lami i
t'
sUncleMzwakhe”Igav
ehim
t
hephonehet ookitandpl
acedi
tonhisear.
Lami:“
Uncl
eMzwakhe..
.I'
m
fi
ne..
.y
es.
..
real
l
y?.
..
Awesome.
..okay
..
.lov
eyou
too”Hegavemebackmyphone
Me:
“Sur
e”
Mzwakhe:
“By
e”Ihungup.
Me:
“Letgetupboy
”
Lami
:
“Mamay
ouar
enotgoi
ngt
oschool
today
?
”
Me:
“Yes”
Lami:
“Uncl
eMzwakhewantt
otakeust
othe
par
kpleasesayy
esMama”
Me:
“Hay
iLami
youcangowi
thhi
mify
ouwant
t
ogo”
Lami:
“Iwanty
out
ocomet
ooi
twi
l
lbef
un
Kit
Kat
”
Bl
oodyMzwakhe!
Me:
“BabyI
..
..
”
Lami:
“PleaseMamami ”Hepressedhi
sti
ny
palmstogetherpout
ing.HowcanIsaynoto
suchcutenessbakit
hi.
Me:
“Okayf
i.
..
.”Bef
oreIev
enf
ini
shedhej
umped
t
omeandgav
emeahug
Lami:
“Thanky
ouKi
tKat
”It
ookmyphoneand
cal
lMzwakhe
Me:
“Yousuchapussyy
az”
Mzwakhe:
“Whathav
eIdonenow”
Me:“
Mxm whatt
imear
eyougoi
ngt
opi
ckus
up”
Mzwakhe:
“11o'
cl
ock”
Me:
“By
epussy
”Hechuckl
edIhungup
Lami:
“Ki
tKatwhati
sapussy?”Ichokedonmy
sal
iv
aandcoughed“Ar
ey ouokayMama? ”
Me:“
Yeahl
etmakethebedsothatwecango
bat
hbefor
eUncleMzwakhecomes”Isl
idoutof
bedashedidt
hesame.
Wemadet hebedtoget
herwhichtookus
for
ev erremindmet onevermakeabedwi t
h
thi
sboyhay i
.JustwhenIthoughtIhave
str
aightenedtheduvethewouldpullit
.
Iranusabathwebat htogether.Idri
edhimfir
st
thenmyselfwewentt othebedroom tolot
ion
andgetdressed.Hewasi nablackjean,whit
et -
shir
t,bl
ackli
ghtjacketandnikewhi t
esneakers.
Iwasinblackandwhi t
emaxi dress,whi
te
cardi
ganandblacksandals.Ibrushedhi
scut
neatl
y
Lami:“
Kit
KatIwantLumeTbose'
shai
rnow”I
chuckl
ed
Me:
“Dr
eadl
ocks?
”
Lami
:
“Mh”
Me:
“Buty
ourhai
rissmal
l
”
Lami
:“
Theny
oushoul
dst
opcut
ti
ngmyhai
r
now”
Me:“
Ohokay ”ChesaLami ,myboywillbe
char
mi ngthem gir
lswit
hlocksI'
mtell
i
ngy ou.I
l
etmyMongol iancur
lsl
oseandsprayedmy
fr
agrance.Itookmyphonet henhel
dLami by
hi
shandaswewentdownst air
s.
Wef oundmypar entsattheki
tchen.Mom was
si
tt
ingont hehighchairanddadwasstanding
bet
weenherl egs.Mom waswear ingarobeand
dadwasi nhispjs.
Dad:“
Hewil
lbef
ineMommyQueenst
op
st
ressi
ng”
Mom:
“Whataboutt
hedr
eamsWakhe”
Dad:
“Theycoul
dbej
ustdr
eamsy
ouknow”
Mom:“Youknowt
hatisnottr
ueGodwhat
woul
dIdoifhedi
e.Hecan'tdi
ehehav
eto
wakeuphehavet
o!”shecri
ed
Dad:“Hewil
l Iknowhewill
”Hepressedherhead
againsthi
sst omachasshewrapherarms
aroundhiswai st
.“SshhI
naisastr
ongboyand
heisaf i
ghter”
Lami:
“Yakhal
augogoKitKat
”(Gogoiscry
ing
Kit
Kat
)Itsonlyt
hentheynoti
cedthatt
heyare
notal
one.Mom wipedhertearsandgotup
fr
om thechai
r
Me:“Mor
ningDaddy,
Mor
ningMommy
”I
huggedt
hem both
Dad:
“Mor
ningLi
tt
leangel
”
Mom:
“Mor
ningsweet
hear
t”
Lami
:
“Whyar
eyoucr
yinggr
andma”
Mom:“Im notcr
yingboyt
here'
ssomethi
ngin
myeyes”Shepickedhim upandki
ssedhis
f
orehead.
Lami
:
“Aski
es”Mom smi
l
ed
Mom:
“Thanky
oust
handwasami
”
Dad:
“Iwi
l
lgor
unusabat
h”
Mom:
“Okay
”Daddi
sappear
ed
Me:
“Mom I
nawi
l
ldi
e?”
Mom:
“Nobaby
”
Me:
“But
..
..
”
Mom:“Hewontdi
e!”shesnapped“Im sor
ry
sweet
hear
t”Shepull
edmet oclosetoherwit
h
heronehandandki
ssedmycheek“
Im sor
ry
okay”
Me:
“Mh”
Mom: “
Yourtwinbrot
herwi l
lbeokay”Inodded
herphonerangsheplacedLami onthecounter
andtookitfr
om thecounterthenwentto
answerthephonet othesitt
ingroom.
Me:
“Dontf
all
I'
m comi
ng”
Lami :
“Okay”Iti
ptoedandli
stenedtoherI
couldn'thearwhatshewassay i
ngshewas
tal
ki
ngv el
vety
.Iwentbacktotheki
tchen
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwantt
oeat
”
Lami
:
“lussi
an”(
Russi
an)
Me:
“Youcan'teatr
ussi
ansev
ery
dayLami
.Iwi
l
l
makeacereal”
Lami:
“Daddysai
dcer
ealdi
sappeari
nthe
stomachMama”Ichuckl
edLordknowshow
muchdoImi sshi
m.“Imisshi
m”
Me:“Ialsomisshi
m myboy ”Ihuggedhim.
Mom camebackandpl acedherphoneont he
counterthent
ookbot
tl
edwat erfr
om thefr
idge.
Mom:“
Makebreakfastf
oryoursel
fandLami
Fl
orai
snotcomingtoday”Shewalkedout
.
Itookherphoneandpagedi t
.Thel astrecei
ved
callwasBanzi.Heisaf r
iendbutIdon' tbuythat
storycozheist hesamemanIsawherwi t
h
andhisscentsmel lthesameonesheonce
camesmel li
ng.Heuset obeherl ecturerbuthe
stoppedlect
uringandstudieddoctoratehe
ownsahospi talandsomeot herbusinesses.
Hei shoty enabutnott henmydaddy .Itexted
him withmom' sphonepr etendingtobeher .He
repl
iedwi thokay.Idel
etedallthemassages
andputmom' sphonebackwher eIfoundit.I
madebr eakf
astforLami makingsur eIinclude
hisrussian.Mjwalkedinwear ingsweat pants
onlyandpushi ns.Hesmel ledofshowergel of
whichmeanshej usttakenashoweraf ter
j
oggi
ng.Hei
swor
kingoutnow.
Mj
:
“Si
siza”Heki
ssedmyf
orehead
Me:
“But
iza”
Mj
:
“Nt
wanay
ami
”hebumpedf
ist
swi
thLami
Lami
:
“Sur
ent
wana”
Me:
“Whoi
sthi
sgi
rlar
eyout
ryi
ngt
oimpr
ess”
Mj:
“Whatar
eyoutal
ki
ngabout”Heopenedt
he
f
ri
dgeandtookoutacont
ainerofmi
l
k
Me:“
Bui
l
dingsomeabsny
anaandsi
xpack
ny
ana”
Mj:
“Ij
ustwantt
obehealt
hyyouknow”He
dr
ankthemilkf
rom t
hecont
ainer
Me:
“UgrmaanMj
taket
hegl
ass!
”Ihi
thi
m wi
th
adi
shclot
h
Mj
:
“If
orgety
ouar
emom no2”
Me:
“Mxm”
Mj
:
“Wher
eisev
ery
one”
Me:“
Thef ol
ksarehavingabath,Makhosazana
i
ssti
llsl
eepingIguess,Sqal
okuhl
espentthe
ni
ghtatTbose'sapart
mentandThandoi sather
dad'
splace”
Mj
:
“Youmeanherwhi
teboy
'spl
ace”
Me:
“Bet
weent
het
wo”
Mj
:“Youarer
eal
l
yokaywi
thhersl
eepi
ngout
wi
thboys”
Me:
“Thandoi
snoty
oungany
mor
e”
Mj
:
“Hai
boshei
saki
d!”
Me:
“Ki
d?Shei
s6mont
hsol
dert
heny
ouMj
”
Mj:
“Mxm”Hebangedthecont
aineroft
hemi
l
k
onthecount
erandmadehiswayout
Me:“
Ineedafavourf
rom y
oubuti
zawami
engi
mthanday
o”Heswivell
edar
oundand
l
ookedatme
Mj
:
“What
?”
Me:
“Ineedt
orushsomewher
ecany
oupl
ease
l
ookaf
terLami
sol
ongt
hef
olksar
ebat
hing”
Mj
:
“Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”
Me:“Thanky
ou”Ikissedhi
scheekandt
ookt
he
carkeysinf
rontofme
Mj
:
“ButIdi
dn'
tsayIagr
ee”
Me:“Il
ovey outoo”Isaidwalki
ngout.Ihopped
i
ntodad'scaranddr ovetothevenue.Isaw
him wait
ingalreadyandbusyonhi sphone.
“Sor
ryIml ate”Isaidsit
ti
ngdownhel ookedat
mesur pri
sed“ Greeti
ngsMrNkomo”
MrNkomo:
“Hel
l
omychi
l
d”
Me:“MrNkomowithallduer
espectpl
easest
ay
awayfrom mymom.Shei smarri
edandshe
l
ovedaddy.Justl
eaveheraloneokay
”He
chuckl
edshaki
nghishead
MrNkomo:
“Youar
efi
nish”
Me:“
Yes”Hest
oodup“MrMbuzi Il
ovemy
f
amilysomuchandwhenther
e'ssomeonewho
wanttocomei
nbetweenIl
osemymi ndanddo
t
heunt
hinkabl
e”
MrNkomo:
“I
sthatat
hreatMi
ssSi
thol
e”
Me:
“Youwi
l
lfi
gur
eitout
”Hechuckl
ed
MrNkomo: “
Youar ereall
yy ourfather
'sdaughter
.
List
enMi ssSitholeyourmom knowswhatshe
i
sdoi ngwenanj ejustrel
axandf eedmyst ep
granddaughter”Heplacedt wohundr edrands
notesont hetableandwi nkedatmebef ore
goingout.Mxm whodoeshet hi
nkhei s!I
stoodupandgav eoneoft hewai t
erthemoney
thenwalkedout .WhenIar riv
edathomeLami
andMzwakhewer ealr
eadywai t
ingforme.He
wasal sowearingblackandwhi te.
Mj:
“Yout
ookforev
erIwant
edt
ogowi
tht
hem
t
othehospi
tal
”
Me:
“I
m sor
rywecangoMzwakhe”
Wewal kedoutheopenedthedoorformeandI
gotinthenhestr
apsLami.HetookustoM&G
fi
rstcozIwashungry“Howisthenewfamil
y”
Mzwakhe:
“Theyar
egoodv
erygood.Ihav
e
nev
erbeenthi
shappy
.”
Me:
“Iwi
shIcansayI
'
m happyf
ory
ou”
Mzwakhe:
“Ideser
vet
hat
”
Wef i
nishedeati
ngthent ookLami tot
hepark.
Mysonr eall
yhadagoodt ime.Mzwakhehel ped
hi
m playedmerrygor ound, swingsetchewas
squeal
ingexcit
edlyandgi ggli
ng.Mzwakhe
wouldtookpicseverynowandt henwhenLami
wastir
edwewentt obuyi cecream.
Me:
“Takeushomenowmyf
eetar
eki
l
li
ngme”
Mzwakhe:
“Icangi
vey
ouf
ootmassage”
Me:
“Youwi
sh”
Mzwakhe:“Yourmom isstubbornli
tt
lepri
ncess”
Hesaidbrushingmytummyandbabypr incess
ki
cked.Tal
kingaboutbetr
ay al
thisl
it
tler
atlove
boys“Ohwow”
Me:“
Getyourhandof
fmyt
ummy
!”Isl
apped
hi
shands
Mzwakhe:
“Ouch”
Hedr
oveushome
“
Ihav
eal
ovel
yti
met
hanky
ou”
Me:
“Mysonhadagr
eatt
ime”
Mzwakhe:
“Whatabouty
ou”
Me:
“Lami
come”
Mzwakhe:
“Lov
eyouboy
”Heki
ssedhi
sli
psand
gav
emehi m
Lami
:
“Ki
ssmommyt
ooUncl
e”
Mzwakhenear
edhi
sli
psonmi
neIst
epped
back
Me:
“Yahl
any
ayi
ni”
Mzwakhe:
“I
tsnotmeit
'sLaminj
e.”Hesmi
rked
“
Yourmom doesn'
twantboy”
Lami
:
“WhyKi
tKat
?”
Me:
“CozI.
..
..
”Iwascutshor
tbyal
ongpeckon
myl
ips.
Mzwakhe:
“Ar
eyouhappynowboyboy
”
Lami
:“Yeah”hegi
ggl
ed
Mzwakhel
aughedwhil
eIwasmadatthi
sli
tt
le
matchmaker
.Mykidsarebet
ray
ingmet
oday
Mari
a!
•
NARRATED
•
I
nt hemi ddleofthenightZesuliwewashav ing
abaddr eam sweatingandcrying.Shejumped
upbr eathingheavi
ly.Herheartwasbeat i
ngl i
ke
adr um herfacedrippingwetwi t
hperspirat
ion.
Shet urnedont hebedsideli
ghtonlytofindher
husbandnotnextt oher .
Shet ookherphonef rom thebedsi
deand
checkthet i
me:2:00inthemor ni
ng.Sheletout
aheav ybreathithasbeenday snowdreaming
thesamedr eam butev er
yt i
meitsfeel
sli
keits
realmelancholydescendedonher .
Shesl i
doutofbedandpul ledarobeov erher
curveciousbodyt henworehersleeper
sbef ore
goingtot hebathr
oom.Shesplashedwat eron
herfaceandwashedhermout hwi t
hListerine
thenshewentt olookforherhusbandshe
neededhi mt ohol
dherinhisarmsandt ellhim
i
t'sjustadream eventhoughsheknewt hather
dreamst ell
sthefutur
e.
Shedidn'tf
indhimintheloungenorinthepiano
room.Shewentt othebalconystil
lhewasnot
ther
eshedeci dedtogobackint hebedroom t
o
call
him shesawMakhosazana' sbedroom's
doorlef
tajarandtheli
ghtwason.Shewentt o
checkonher .
Shegotashockofherl i
fehereyesroamed
aroundtoherhusband'sclothesthatwer
e
scatter
edar oundthefl
oorthenstuckonthe
bedwher eherhusbandwassl eepingwit
h
Makhosazanaont ophisbarechesthi
sonearm
wrappedar oundher.Shebli
nkedsuperfl
uousl
y
tearsautomat i
cal
l
ystreameddownherf ace,
herbodyt
rembl
edshet
urnedandwal
kedt
oher
bedroom.
[
06/
01,
14:
48]W:
72
ZESULI
WE
•
Icrawledmy selfont opofthebedandcover
ed
myheadwi t
haduv etthencri
edmylungsout
.I
couldn'
tevenf eel
myhear tbeat
ing.
IknowIhav ebeenimpossiblethiswholemont
h
Ina'scondit
iontookit
stollonmeandt he
dreamsIhav ebeenhavi
ngexacer bat
ethe
situat
ionsosexwast helastthingonmymi nd
henceIbl amemy sel
fforallofthis.
Ishouldnthavepushedhi
m awayheisalso
dist
ressedlikeme.It
sal
lonmeIpushedhimto
anotherwoman' sar
msandithurt
sdeepinmy
heartthatIcanfeel
thepai
nphysi
cal
l
y .
Approxi
mat
elyaf
teranhourIhear
dthedoor
swungopenhisf
ootst
epsapproachi
ng.He
pull
edtheduvetonmyheadandl ookedatme
reeki
ngherscentIcanfeel
hisheavybreat
hing
asIwaspretendi
ngt obesl
eeping.
“OhGodwhathav eIdone? ”hewhisperedashe
walkaway .Iheardt hewat errunni
ngaf tersome
ti
meIf elthim pr
essi nghiswar m bodyand
wrappedhi sar m aroundmywai st.Hisheart
wast huddingIcoul dfeelitbeati
nghar donmy
back.Iweptsi l
entlyafterIheardhim snor i
ng.
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
Icoul
dn'
tsleepmyeyeswer
eheav
yandsore.I
coul
dfeelhim wat
chi
ngmeasIwassl
eepi
ngI
openedmyey es.
Hubby
:“Mor
ningbaby
”hef
orcedasmi
l
e.
Me:
“Mor
ninghowdi
dyousl
eep?
”
Hubby:“
Wonder
ful
myl ov
eyou”Hi
svoicewas
shaki
ngandhi
sfor
eheadwassweati
ng.
Me:“
Ialsosleptwell
”Ipul
l
edhi
m cl
osert
o
myselftear
sthreat
eningt
ocomeoutand
kissedhi
m.Iwantedhimtotel
lmewhat
happenedbuti
tdi
dn'tl
ookl
ikehewaspr
epar
ed
todoso.
Wer ol
ledoutotbedandmadei ttogethert
hen
wewentt otookashowertogether.How
disr
espectfulofhimtoini
ti
atesexwhenhe
knowsl astnighthewasbangingMakhosazana.
Me:
“I
'm notf
eel
i
ngwel
lSi
thol
e”
Hubby
:“What'
swrongmydar
li
ng”Het
urnedme
ar
oundtofacehi
m
Me:
“Igotat
err
ibl
eheadache”
Hubby:
“I
m sor
ry”Heki
ssedmyl i
pspul
l
ingme
cl
osetohim.“
Youknowt hatIl
ovey
ouLiwe
ri
ght
?”
Me:
“Mh”
Hubby:
“Iwil
lnev
erdosomethi
ngtohurty
ou
del
iber
atel
yyouaremyever
ythi
ng.Myheaven
onEart
h.”Thenhowcoul
dyoudot hi
stome?
Af
terhy
gienepr
ocesswegotdr
essedandwent
downstair
s.Thebr eakf
astwasalr
eadysetIssy
,
Mj,Makhosaz anaandLami werealr
eady
gather
edbyt hetable.“
Morningever
yone"my
husbandopenedt hechairf
ormeIsatdownhe
pusheditinsi
de
Them:
“Mor
ning”
Me:
“Howdi
dyousl
eepMakhosazana?
”
Isai
dlooki
ngi
ntoherey
esasmyhusbandsat
downnextt
ome.
Makhosazana:
“Wel
lsi
syou”
Me:“Isl
eptwonder
fulsi
s”Iwant
edt
ost
rangl
e
herbutIcont
rolmyself
.
I
ssy
:“Daddyar
eyouokay
”
Hubby:“
Uhm yes”Il
ookedatmyhusbandhe
waswetwithsweatonhi sforehead.That
happenwhenheisstressed, f
rust
rat
edand
scar
ed.Hemustbeaski nghi msel
fwhetherI
sawhim whathewasupt ol astni
ghtornot
I
ssy
:“Buty
ouar
esweat
ing”
Hubby
:“I
mfi
ner
eal
l
y”Hef
orcedasmi
l
ed
Me:
“Ar
eyousur
e”
Hubby:
“Yes”Iki
ssedhischeekandrubbedhis
handl
ockingmyey esonhiswhichcouldn'
tst
ay
l
ongerthenasecondonmyey es.
Wecarri
edoneati
ngbreakfast
.Makhosazana
waspret
endingl
i
keeveryt
hingiswellshewas
i
nagoodmoodmaki ngsill
yjokesaggnxa!If
elt
l
ikev
omi t
ing.
Icoul
dntbri
ngmy sel
ftocontr
olmyemoti
onsI
knewifIspendmoretimeIwilll
osemymind
andwentcrazyonherthatnotwhoIam.
Iexcusemysel
fmyhusbanddidn'
tevenaskme
wheream Igoi
ng.Hismindwasfaraway.Igot
i
nmycarast earsr
olleddownmyfaceandmy
wholebodyshi
veri
ng.
Istart
edt hecaranddr
ovetoBanzi '
shospi
tal
as
tearscloudedmysight
.Icouldn'thol
dthe
starr
ingwheel.Uponarr
ival
Iwi pedtear
sonmy
f
aceandsteppedoutofthecar.Il
ockeditand
mademywayst r
aightt
osecretroom.Ifound
Nomal
angacryi
ngandholdingherson'
shand.
Noma:
“Pl
easewakeupmyboyImi
ssy
ou”
Me:
“Hey
”shewi
pedhert
ear
sandl
ookedatme.
Noma:
“Hel
l
o”
Me:
“Howi
she”Isai
dmaki
ngmywayt
othebed.
Noma:
“Hei
sst
il
lthesame”
Me:
“Andi
t'
smakey
ouhappyneh”
Noma:
“Whatdoesthatsupposet
omean”she
sai
dwi
thoutl
ooki
ngatme
Me:“Dontf uckwi t
hmeNomal anga!Yousai
d
thi
swi ll
onlybeaweekbuti tshasbeenthe
wholedamnf uckenmonthnow!Whenarey ou
gett
ingr i
doft hathusbandofyour
shuh?Ort hat
wasj ustal i
e!”
IwassopissedIonl
yagr
eedtohel
phercoz
shesai
ditwil
lbeaweekbutnowit
shasbeen
thewholemonthandther
e'snothi
ngIhat et
hen
goingagai
nstmyhusband.Hewar nedmet o
stayawayfor
mt heMngomezulusbutIcouldn'
t
l
etanotherwomansuffer
.I'
m amot herandI
knowhowdeepamot hercangot opr ot
ecther
chil
d.
Noma:
“Iknowokayit'
snoteasyZesul
i
wehei
s
st
il
lmyhusband”shecri
ed
Me:“Husband?Youcallthatasshol
eahusband?
Hebeaty ouupev erysi
ngledayandhewantto
kil
lyoursonNoma!Forwhatexact lyhuh?
Money ?Wealt
hy?fuckof fmaan!!
”Iwasso
fucki
ngangryforeveryt
hing.Iwasangryat
Noma, Iwasangryatherhusband, Iwasangr
y
atmyhusband, Iwasangr yatmyself
,Iwas
angryatMakhosazana!Iwant edtodestr
oy
everyt
hingi
nfrontofme
Noma:“
ItsnotthateasyZesul
i
weIlovehim
okay
.Hei st
heonl ymanIhaveeverknown.He
i
smyev eryt
hingtomeIknowhi sflawsbutI
f
uckenl
ovehi
m!”
Me:“Soy outel
lingmethaty ouchoosehim ov
er
yourson?Yourl astborn?Dammi tmaan
Nomal anga.Thatmani scrazyhewillki
l
lyou
andy ourchil
drenletgoofhim!”
Shecri
edlouder“Lookathim!”Shel
ooked
down“Isai
dlookedaty oursonwoman!”She
l
ookedatPhakamani whowasl yi
nghelpl
essl
y
onahospital
bedcov er
edwi t
hpipesonhis
faceashospi
talmachinebeepmonotonously
”Isthi
sthekindal
i
fey oupl annedforhim?Why
areyoudelayi
nghi
sr ecoveryprocessforthat
excuseofamany oucal l
ahusband!YouandI
knowthatifhecouldhearmydaught er'
svoice
hecouldwakeup!Awuy ekeukucabanga
ngenquzamaan!”(
Stopt hinkingwithyour
pussy!
)
“Ihat
egoi
ngagainstmyhusband!Ihat
eseei
ng
mydaught
ercr
yingever
ydayforPhakamani
whil
ehest
ickf
uckingal
ive!I
tsbr
eaksmyheart”
Shecr
iedl
ouder
.
“YouknowwhatI '
m donewi t
hy ouNomalangaI
tri
edtohelpyoubuty ouar
enotmeet ingme
halfway.Thathusbandofyourswill
found
wheredidwehi dePhakamani andki
llhi
m.I
hopeyouwi l
lli
vewiththat
!”
Shestoodupandcamet
omehol
dingmy
handsInt
ohers
Noma:“Pl
easedon'tl
eavemeZesuli
weIneed
you.I
m sorr
yforthetr
oubl
eIhaveputy
ou
thr
ough.I
mr eadynow.Im pr
epar
edtol
osethat
abusi
vehusbandformyson”
Me:“
Nowyouar
et al
king.Ihav
eapl
ancoz
your
shav
ebeenfail
i
ng”
Noma:
“I
ml i
steni
ng"Shewi
pedhert
ear
swi
th
t
hebackofherhand
Me:“Putmeonspeeddi alyouhavetogotohim
nowandpr ov
okehi m unti
lhebeatyouupthenI
wil
lcallt
hepoli
ce.Jai
l i
sbettert
henkil
l
inghim”
Noma:
“OkayIcandot
hat
”
Me:
“FocusNomalangaokay
.Thi
sisy
ourson
wearetal
ki
ngabout”
Noma: “
Ihearyou”Shewal kedtothebedand
kissedPhakamani '
sforeheadthensheheaded
tot hedoor.Whenshegott hereshet ur
nedand
l
ookedatme.“ Thankyouf orhelpi
ngmeIknow
Idon'tdeserveyourhel
paf terwhatmyhusband
did.Youareagr eatwomanZesul i
weandnev er
allowanyonet otel
lyouotherwise”Ismiled
faintl
y
Me:“Thankyou”Shesmi l
edandwal kedout.I
satdownont heprov
idedchai
r.Iwantedto
communi catewithGodbutmyhear twassore
andheav y.
Thepi
ctureofmyhusbandandMakhosazana
keepf
lashingbeforemyeyes.Outofal
lthe
womandi dithavetoMakhosazana?Mypatient
?
Morev
ertheyf uckedi
nmyownhouse.
DoImeannot
hingt
oMawakhel
omuzi
thathe
wi
ll
fuckawomaninmyhouse,t
hesame
womanIal
mostl
ostmyl
ifefor
?
“
Zee”Il
ookedupatBanzi
andwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Banzi
:
“Ar
eyouokay
?”Hesai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
ds
me
Me:
“Yeah.
..
Howi
shet
oday
?”
Banzi
:“
Heisst
il
li
ncomaZeeI'
m sor
ry”I
nodded“Ar
eyousur
eyouar
eokay?”
Me:“
Yes”Ifor
cedasmi
l
e“Thanky
ouf
ordoi
ng
al
lofthi
sforme”
Banzi:
“Wearefr
iendsZee”Ismil
ed“IsawIssy
yester
dayshewarnedmet ostayawayfr
om
youshethinky
ouar echeat
ingonherfat
her”I
sighed
Me:
“MyGodt
hatchi
l
dwhatdi
dyousay
?”
Banzi
:“It
oldherwantsheneededt
ohear
”
Me:
“IhopeNomawi l
lgot
hroughwit
hthi
splan
I
'mti
redofgoi
ngagai
nstmyhusbandBanzi
andsneaki
ngar
ound”
Banzi
:“
Talkt
omeZee”Il
ookedathi
m
“Somethi
ngi
seat
ingy
ouup.”
Me:“Youarepsychoanal
ysi
ngmenow?
”He
walkedtowardsmeandsatdownon
Phakamani'
sbedf aci
ngme
Banzi
:“Kwenzenj
ani
?”(
Whati
sgoi
ngon?
)
Me:“
Ev eryt
hingi
sfi
ne”Isai
dwit
hahugesmil
e
onmyf acebutmytear
sfai
ledmeandf
all
ef
fort
lessly.
Banzi
:
“Zee”
Icouldn'
thol
dthem anymor
eIcri
ed.Hest
ood
upandhelpedmeupt henwewenttohi
soffi
ce
wherewesatdownont hecouch.
Hepulledmet ohischestIcriedheavyl
etti
ng
outheartwrenchi
ngsobs“ IsNkosinamandla
okay?”Inoddedsti
llcr
ying.“Youarescar
ingme
tal
ktomepl ease”
Me:
“I
..
I.
.f
oundWakheandMakhosazananaked
i
nbedt
hismor
ning”Icr
iedhar
der
Banzi
:
“Not
hat
'si
mpossi
ble!
”
Me:
“Isawt
hem Banzi
wit
hmyt
wonakedey
es”
Banzi
:
“Yhowhatdi
dMawakhesai
daboutt
his”
Me:“Ididn'
tconfronthi
m Iwasexpectinghi
mto
behonestwi thmebuthedi dn'
t.Howcouldhe
dothisBanzi?Inmyownhouse?Wi th
Makhosazanaoutofal lthewomeni ntheworl
d?
Couldntheatleastbookedahoteltofuckhi
s
mist
r ess?"Isobbed
Banzi
:
“Im sorryZeeIm sosorr
y.Youtr
ust
ed
thi
swomant oomucht houghandfor
gott
hat
shest
oley ourbaby.Techni
cal
lyshei
san
enemy.”
Me:“Iwasmakingiteasyf
ormy sel
ftohel
pher
.
Idi
dn'tknowsheisasnake.Ir
iskedmylif
efor
herandthisi
showshet hankme? ”
Banzi
:“
Mawakhel
omuzil
oveyouZeeIcan'
t
bel
iev
ehedidthi
stoy
ou.Youhavetotal
kto
hi
m hearwhathehavetosayaboutt
hisdon'
t
al
l
owt hathomewreckert
odestroyy
our
marr
iage”
Me:“Nomatterwhathecansayi
twon' tj
usti
fy
whathedid.Ihavenev
erfel
tsodisr
espected,
worthl
ess,
stupidandmorti
fi
edl
i
ket hati
nmy
house.
”
Banzi
:
“OhZeeI'm sor
ry"Heal
lowedmetowet
hi
swhitecoatwit
hmyt ear
s“Shhit
sgoi
ngtobe
okay”
Me:“
Iguessitsser
vemer i
ght
.Thi
sishow
Luy
andafeltwhenIt ookWakhefr
om her"I
l
aughedwipingmyt earsbutt
heykeptf
all
ing
Banzi:
“It
snotyourfaultthatt heywerealr
eady
havi
ngpr obl
emsst opblami ngy oursel
f.
Luyandawasf or
cingher selfinto
Mawakhel omuzi
.Thatmanl oveyouhewi ll
neverhurtyoudel
iberately.Thesnakeher ei
s
Makhosazana.Don'tbeof fendedbuty our
ancestorscanbestupidhowcant heyaskyou
tohelpsomeonewhostol
eyourbaby?Whatar
e
theyhopi
ngtoachi
eve?Lookwhatshedi
dnow
arg!
”
Me:“HowcouldMawakhel omuzi ent
ertai
nher?I
almostl
ostmyl i
feforthatwoman!It ookheri
n
myhouseandof feredtohelpherev enwhen
shedoesn'tdeserv
et hatforsteali
ngmybaby !
It
'shur
tBanziIhatefeeli
nglikethis"
Iwi
pedtearsmyt
ears“
Inevert
houghtthi
sis
howitwi
llbet
heendofourmarr
iage.
”He
pul
l
edmebackandcuppedmyf ace
Banzi
:“Youarehurtbutpl
easedon'
tmakehast
e
deci
sionwithoutt
alki
nghim.Gohomeandtalk
toyourhusbandZee.Hearwhathehavetosay
aboutthi
s”
Me:“Ican' tignor
et hefactt
hatthishowour
rel
ationshi pstar
ted.Thisishim,thiswhathe
want.Makhosazanai syoung,sexy,peti
teand
beaut i
ful.Shecanst i
l
lbearmorechi l
drenfor
him unlikemeI m old,t
ir
ed,bori
ngyounameI t
al
l
.Myt
imehadexpi
redi
nhi
sli
fe”
Banzi
:“
Dontsaythatyouar eabeautif
ul
,wonderf
ulgoodhearted,str
ong,i
ntel
li
gent
womanamancoul dev eraskfor
.Neverbel
it
tl
e
your
selfl
iket
hat”
I
m brokenbeyondrepai
rsbuti
fMakhosazana
makehim happythenIcan'
tst
andonhiswayof
happi
ness.

[
06/
01,
15:
15]W:
73
NARRATED
•
SI
THOLERESI
DENCE
Theur get opeedist
urbedhimintodeep
sl
umberhef elthi
swifeonhischestandhis
arm wr appedaroundherbody.Ina'
ssit
uat
ioni
s
depressinghershelostweightbuthewassure
ashel
lthatshedi
dn'
tl
osesomuchwei
ghtt
hat
for
cedhimtoopenhi
seyes.
Theywer emetbyasl eepingMakhosazanaon
hisbarechest.“
Whatt hefuck!”Hepushedher
awayf r
om himlikeshehav ethor nsonherbody
orsheisburninghim.“OhMyJesus! ”Heclosed
hiseyestryi
ngtorecallt
heev entst hatl
edhim
i
nbedwi t
hMakhosazanaal lher emember ed
waswaki ngupinthemi ddleoft henightand
l
ookedathi swifenexttohim whowassl eeping
herli
pspoutedlikeababyst i
lltodayhef i
nd
thati
shsocut e.
Heplantedapeckonherpout edli
psandgazed
ather
.Hel ovehersomuchthatisnoteven
quest
ionablebuthehatehowsheispushing
hi
m awayasi fheisnotdi
str
essedli
keher.
It
salsostressinghi
mtowat chthei
rson
breat
hingwi t
hmachinesandnowt hedoctor
s
areeventalki
ngaboutswit
chingoffthe
machinebuthehav en'
ttol
dhiswifethat
.
Thatwoul dkil
lhermor eandhebel i
evethatIna
willwakeup.Peoplewakeupaf t
ery ear
ssowi l
l
Ina.Hemadehersl eepwi thherbackand
exposedhercur vr
ciousbodyhismemberst ood
i
nat tent
ionjustbylookingatherl
ightfl
awless
skin.
Hewentdownonherandspr eadherl
egsapart
hesighedbli
ssf
ull
yandsniff
edherhowhemi ss
her.Heli
ckedhi
slipsandpartedherv
ermi
li
on
l
ipswithhist
oungelicki
ngherupanddownshe
rel
easeasoftmoani nhersl
eepashesuckon
hercli
t
Liwe:“Wakheee”Shemoanedandopenedher
eyest henproppedherselfupwithherelbowsto
l
ookatherhusbandwhowasdoi ngamazi ng
thingsdownt herebutshewasnoti nthemood.
“I'
mt i
redWakheIwantt osleep”Shelockedhis
facebet weenherthi
ghs.
Wakhe:
“Al
l
owmet
orel
i
evet
hest
ressony
ou”
Li
we:
“I
m sor
rymyl
ovebutI
'
m notf
eel
i
ngwel
l
”
Wakhe:“
Okay”Hesigheddisappoi
ntedl
yandgot
upthensli
ppednexttoher
Li
we:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Wakhe:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Heki ssedherl
ipsandpul
l
edhertohischest.
Wi t
hinsecondsshewassleepi
ng.Shetook
sleepingpi
ll
sthathowshemanaget osleepf
or
thewhol emonth.
Hekissherfor
eheadandgentl
ylai
dheronthe
bedthensli
doutofbed.Heputonhisboxer
andworehispushinsthenwal
kedtothedoor
thatl
eadtothebal
cony.
Thecoldbr eezehithi
sskinpainfull
ycausing
chickenski
nbutheneededt ocool downhi s
memberwashar dasr ock,poppingveinsand
painful
.Aft
ersomet imehewal kedbackandgot
dressedthenhewentdownst ai
rsjusttoplay
pianoandsi ng.I
talwayssoothehi m.Hefound
Makhosazanawat chi
ngTVandsi ppi
ngonhot
coffee.
Wakhe:
“Hey
”
Shet
urnedandl
ookedathi
m
Makhosazana:
“Hey
.Ihopey
oudon'
tmi
ndI
coul
dn'
tfal
lasl
eep”
Wakhe:“
ComeonMakhosazanawhywouldI
haveaprobl
em.Justf
eel
freeandathome
okay”
Makhosazana:
“Thanky
ou.Whatabouty
ou?
”
Wakhe:
“Icoul
dn'
tfal
lbackt
osleep.Iwi
l
lbei
n
t
hepianoroom i
fyouneedany
thing”
Makhosazana:
“Thanky
ou”
Hewalkedt
othepi
anoroom andsatdownt
hen
st
art
edplay
ingi
tandsangalong
♪♪♪I
fithadnotbeenf
ort
heLor
d,
Whowasal
way
sonmysi
de,
Theenemywoul
dhav
eswal
l
owus,
Woul
dhav
edr
ownedi
nthewat
ers,
Butoursoul
sar
efoundandescaped,
Ourhi
dingpl
acei
nyou,
TheFowl
erssnar
eisbr
oken,
Ourhel
psi
sint
henameoft
heLor
d.
Thennot
hingwi
thouty
ou,
wit
houty
ou,
Youar
etheai
rthatIbr
eat
he
Can'
tl
iv
ewi
thouty
ou,
wit
houty
ouJesus,
I
nyouIl
i
veandhav
emybei
ng
Hosannat
oJehov
ah,
Youar
etheai
rthatIbr
eat
he
Hal
l
eluj
ah,
hal
l
eluj
ah
I
ny ouIli
veandhavemybein.
..
♪ ♪ ♪ Hewas
di
sturbedbyMakhosazanawhowascl
appi
ng
herhands.
Makhosazana:
“Yourv
oicei
samazi
ng”
Wakhe:
“Iknow”Shechuckl
edandtookt
het
wo
cupsofcoff
eeshehadplacedont
hedeskt
hat
waspl
acedt
her
eandwal
kedt
owar
dshi
m.
Makhosazana:
“Cockymuch.
..
Imadeyouacup
ofcof
fee”shegavehimthecupofcof
fee
Wakhe:
“Oht
hanky
ou”
Makhosazana:
“Mypleasure”Shel
ookedathi
s
l
ipsashesipsonhiscoffee.Shecan'
thel
pbut
admir
eGod'screat
ion.
Wakhe:“
Idon'
tmeant orushy
oubutIneedto
know,mywifeneedtoknow,Issyneedt
oknow
whydidyoustol
eher.Ipromi
sewewonthurt
youwejustneedanswers”
Makhosazanadidn'tr
eplyshewasl ostonthe
mov ementofhi
slips.“Makhosazana!”He
snappedherout
.
Makhosazana:
“Uhm y
es”
Wakhe:
“Ar
eyour
emember
ingsomet
hing?
”
Makhosazana:“
NoIwasjust
..
.nevermi
ndhow
i
syourcoffee?IhopeImadeitt
hewayyoul
ike
i
t”
Wakhe:“
Yesofcourseitsreal
lyni
ce”Hedidn'
t
wanttohur
therfeeli
ngsnoonemakehi s
cof
feethewayhelikeitexcepthi
swife.
Makhosazana:
“Whatwer
eyousay
ing”
Wakhe:“Iwanttoknowthedayy
oustol
emy
daughter.Ij
ustneedt
oknowIwon'
tdo
anyt
hingt oyou”
Shel
ookedathi
m andshookherhead
Makhosazana:
“Ican'
tremember.I
'm sor
ryonce
agai
nforsteal
i
ngy ourdaught
er.
..
.”
Wakhe: “
Ifor
gaveyouIj
ustneedtoknowthe
reasonI'
m sureyoumusthavehadareasonto
dot hi
s”
Makhosazana:
“Youar
eputt
ingt
oomuch
pressur
eonmeWakheIt ol
dyouthatIwill
tell
youwhenIremember”Shesai
dratherannoyed
Wakhe:
“Pl
easedon'
tcal
lmeWakhemywi f
eis
t
heonlyonewhocallmeWakhe.Toy ouI'
m
Mawakhel
omuziorbett
ery
etMrSithole”he
sai
dwi
thannoy
ancei
nhi
svoi
ce
Makhosazana:
“Sor
ryMrSi
thol
e”
Wakhe:
“Thanky ou”Hedoesn' ttr
ust
Makhosazanahef eelli
keshei splay
inggames
wit
hhermemor yloss.Somet hi
nghappenedin
hi
sbodyt hathecouldn'tunderst
andItsl
ike
someonewast akingov erhi
sbodyt oget
her
wit
hhisfeeli
ngs.Thatwhather emember .
Wakhe:
“Wakeupwoman! ”heshookaal
ready
awakeMakhosazananextt
ohim
Makhosazana:
“I
'm sor
ebabyyout
oremeapart
l
astni
ght”shebiteherlowerl
i
pandthatdr
ove
Wakhecrazy
Wakhe:
“Nonoy
ouandIdi
dn'
tsl
eept
oget
her
!”
Makhosazana:
“Damnyouareareal
deal
thank
youf
ortakingcar
eof12year
sit
ch”
Hegotupf rom t
hebedf
umingwi
thangerand
gotdressed.Howcanhenotr
ememberwhat
happened?
Wakhe:“Whatdidyoudot omehuh!”her oar
ed
paci
ngupanddown.Al lhecoul
dthinkaboutis
hi
swi f
e.Ohthiswill
breakherapart
.Howdi dhe
al
lowthistohappen?Fuck!Heisscrewedhis
i
nsti
nctsaboutMakhosazanawer eright
!Sheis
untr
ustwort
hy.
Makhosazana:
“Ohcomeonbabyyouwant
ed
thi
sasmuchasIdi dsoy
oudon'
thavetof
eel
gui
lty”
Hisbloodboiledhewant edt
osaysomet hing
butwor dsfai
ledhi
m.Hewal kedoutbuckl i
ng
hi
sbel thi
swhol ebodytrembl
inghi
sf or
ehead
poppingv ei
ns.Hesawhi ssonMjgoingt ohis
bedroom Mj '
seyeslookeddownonhisf ather
wherehewasbuckl inghisbel
t.
Hecoul dn'
tbeli
eveithel
ookedathisfather
wit
hdi sgustandwentinsi
deofhisbedroom.
Wakhef li
nchedhishandsthelookhissongave
hi
m brokehi sheart
.Hewalkedtohisson's
bedroom andknockedbuthedidn'topenup
Wakhe:
“Sonpl
easeopenup”Mj i
gnoredhi
m he
si
ghedandwalkedtothebedroom.Whenhe
gott
othedoorhisheartt
huddedharderagai
nst
hi
schesthi
sforeheadsweati
ng.
Het ookadeepbr eathandwal
kedin.Themor e
hewal kedclosertohert
hemorehisheart
want edt ocomeoutofhi smouth.Hepul
ledthe
cover sandlookedather .“
OhGodwhathav eI
done”Hewhi sper
edashewalkedtothe
bathroom.
Heuncl ot
hedandt ookashowerscr ubbi ngoff
Makhosazana' sscentthatwasal loverhi m unti
l
hisski npai ned“Fuck!”Hegr oanedin
frustrationhewasangr yathi mselfforal l
owing
Makhosazanat osleepwithhim.Whydi dhe
ev endr ankhercof fee!Het houghtofhowt hi
s
wi l
lbreakhi swi feorwhati fshesawt hem she
i
sj ustpr etendingtobesl eeping.Fearkickedi n
andt ear strickl
edinhisey es.Hecoul dn'tbare
thet houghtofl osinghiswi feforthiscr azy
woman.
Hef ini
shedbathi
ngbuthecouldst i
l
lsmel lher
scentthatant
agonizedhimfurt
her.Hewr apped
atowel ar
oundhiswaistandwentbackt othe
bedroom.Heunwr appedthetowelandslipped
nexttohiswif
epressinghisbodyagainsthers
thenwrappedhisarm aroundherwaist.
Thef ol
lowingmor ni
ngguil
tywaseat i
nghi m up
hisheartwassor etothecore.Helookedathi s
wifenextt ohim whoopenedherey es.He
noti
cedt hatthewereswollenwhichmeansshe
havebeencr ying.Maybehewascr yingf orIna
hethought .Notthati
tmakeanydi f
f erencebut
hepr ef
erredherfoundingoutfr
om hi mt henher
seeingthem.
Wakhe:
“Mor
ningbaby
”hef
orcedasmi
l
e
Liwe:“Morni
nghowdi dyousleep?”Hesear ched
throughherey estoseeifsheknowsornotbut
hecoul dn'
tfi
ndt heanswer.It'
snol i
ethathe
knowsherl i
ket hebackofhi shandsbutt oday
hecoul dn'
treadherandt hatfrust
ratedhi
m.
Wakhe:“
Wonder
ful
myl ovey ou”Hisvoi
cewas
shaki
ngandhi
sfor
eheadstar tedsweati
ng.He
wasinadebat
ewithhi
msel fwhethertotel
lher
now.Hecoul
dn'
tbri
nghimsel ftohur
this
beaut
if
ulwi
fewhom helovedear l
yearl
yinthe
morni
ng.
Wakhe: “
Ial
sosleptwel
l”Shepull
edhim cl
oser
andkissedhimthatwasanassuranceenough
tohimthatshedoesn'
tknow.Hewasn'tr
eadyto
tel
lhernotnow.Hewant edt
of i
ndoutaproof
fi
rstt
hatheneverwantedtosleepwit
h
Makhosazanashelurehim.
Theyrolledoutofbedandmadei ttogether
thentheywentt otakeashowertoget her.Hi
s
eyesnev ergetuseofhowbeautifulandsexy
hiswifeis.Hefelthismembergrowi nghard
andpoki ngherbutt.Hepl
antedkissesonher
necksqueezingherboobs.Henot icedhow
uncomf ort
ableherbodywaswhi chi s
somet hi
ngnew.Herbodyal waysr eacttohis
touchev enwhenshei snoti
nthemood.Coul d
i
tbepossi
blet
hatshesawt
hem?Thatquest
ion
haunt
edhi
m.
Li
we:
“I
'm notf
eel
i
ngwel
lSi
thol
e”
Wakhe:
“What'
swrongmydar
li
ng”Het
urnedher
ar
oundtofacehi
m
Li
we:
“Igotat
err
ibl
eheadache”
Wakhe:
“I
m sor
ry”Heki
ssedherl
ipspul
l
ingher
cl
osetohi
m.“YouknowthatIl
oveyouLiwe
ri
ght
?”
Li
we:
“Mh”
Wakhe:
“Iwil
lneverdosomethingtohurtyou
del
i
beratel
yyouaremyev er
ything.Myheaven
onEart
h.”Shenodded.
Afterhygieneprocesstheygotdressedand
wentdownst airs.Thebreakf
astwasal r
eadyset
Issy,Mj,MakhosazanaandLami werealready
gatheredbyt hetable.“
Morningevery
one"He
openedt hechairforherandhepushedi tinsi
de
aftershesatdown
Them:
“Mor
ning”
Li
we:“Howdi
dyousleepMakhosazana?”
She
sai
dlooki
ngi
ntohereyesasherhusbandsat
nextt
oher
Makhosazana:
“Wel
lsi
syou”
Li
we:
“Isl
eptwonder
ful
sis”
I
ssy
:“Daddyar
eyouokay
”
Liwe:“Uhm yes”
Nomat terhowhet ri
edtoact
l
ikeeverythi
ngisokayhewasf ail
ingandthe
perspi
rati
ononhisforeheadcouldn'
tdohim
anyjusti
cehisdaughterandwifecouldseethat
somethingiswrongwi t
hhim.
I
ssy
:“Buty
ouar
esweat
ing”
Wakhe:
“I
mfi
ner
eal
l
y”Hef
orcedasmi
l
ed
Li
we:
“Ar
eyousur
e”
Wakhe:“
Yes”Li
wekissedhi
scheekandrubbed
hi
shandlocki
nghereyesonhi
swhichcouldn'
t
st
aylongert
henasecondonhereyes.He
couldn'tst
andt olookathiswifeknowingwhat
happenedl astnight.Theyal
latebreakfastMj
ccouldn'tl
ookathi sfatherwhil
eMakhosazana
wast hrowingsil
lyjokesthatmadehi m angr
y.
Liweex cusedher sel
finthemiddleofthe
breakfast
I
ssy
:“I
smom okay
?”
Wakhe:
“Shehav
eaheadache”
Mj
:
”Ohr
eal
l
y?”
Wakheswal
l
owedhar
dandnodded.
“
Nxa!
”Hest
oodup
Wakhe:
“Si
tdownandeatMj
”
Mj
:
“Angf
uni
”(Idon'
twantt
o)Hemumbl
ed
Wakhe:
“Whatwast
hat
?”
Mj
:
“Not
hing”
Wakhe:
“Don'
tfor
getyourpl
aceIwi
l
lremindy
ou
wi
thamassivepunch.Si
tdownandeat!
!”
Mj
:
“Mxm”Hewal
kedaway
Wakhe:
“Mjcomebackher
e!!
”Mj i
gnor
edhi
m
andwal
kedupst
air
stohi
sbedroom.
I
ssy
:“Whati
swr
ongwi
thhi
m?”
Makhosazana:
“Hepr
obabl
ywokeupona
wr
ongsideofthebed”
I
ssy
:“I
m of
f”Shestoodupandki
ssedherson'
s
l
i
p“Loveyoubaby
”
Lami
:
“Lov
eyout
ooKi
tKat”
I
ssy
:“By
eDaddy”Sheki
ssedhi
scheek
Wakhe:
“By
eli
tt
leAngel
”
I
ssy
:“By
eMakhosazana”
Makhosazana: “
Ithi
nkyoushouldcall
me
mot heryouknowphelaIwil
lbe..
.”Wakheey ed
hersoshest oppedmidsentence.I
ssylef
tfor
school “
NowIcangetapr opergoodmor ni
ng
greeti
ng”Shewi nked
Wakhe:
“Nx
!”Hest
ooduphecouldn'
tst
andher
si
ght
.Hewentt
otakehi
scarkey
sanddr ov
e
off.Hi
smi ndwasreeli
ngheev enhadan
headache.Hewantedtot alkwit
hsomeonebut
sinceheisnolongerfr
iendswithMngomezul
u
hehasnooneandhi sfatheri
sthel
astper
son
hecant al
ktoaboutthi
scozhenev erhi
dea
thingf
rom hismom.
Thelastthi
nghewanti shismom st r
angling
hi
m.Hi sfol
kslovehi
swi feli
ketheirdaughter.
Hepulledoffandwenttot hepharmacyt obuy
morningaft
erthendrovebackhome.Het ooka
bot
tl
edwat erinthef
ridgeandwentt o
Makhosazana'sbedr
oom.Heknocked.” Come
i
n”shesai dontheotherside.
Hewal kedi
nshewaslyi
ngonthebedfacing
theroofweari
ngaver
yti
ghtdr
essthatexposed
herpetit
ebody.“
Ohit
'sy
ou”
Wakhe: “
Yeahi t
sme”Hesatdownont hebed
andgav eherthepaperbag.“
It
salreadybad
thatIbetr
ayedmywi fethel
astthi
ngIwantisa
bastardchil
d!”
Makhosazana:
“Whati
sthis?”Shesatonher
but
tandtookthepaperbag“Oh”
Wakhe:
“Kl
oukunukatakethi
spil
lsanddown
t
hem Makhosazana”hegaveherthebot
tl
ed
wat
er.
Makhosazana:
“Thewayy oubeggedmef or
moreandmor eI'
m sosureyouleftaminiy
ou
butkeyoudon'twanthi
m well
”Shet hr
ewthe
pi
ll
sonhermout handdrankwat erasWakhe
madesureshedoes.“Happynow?”
Wakhe:“Whyar
ey oudoi
ngthishuh.Aft
er
every
thi
ngmywi f
edi df
oryouisthi
showy ou
thankherbysl
eepingwi
thherhusband.You
suchasnakeNx!”
Makhosazana:
“DidIaskhert
oriskmyl i
fefor
me?Nosodon' tboremethere'
sal otwecoul
d
doyouknow”Shesmashedherl ipsonhis
Wakhe:“Youungr
atef
ulbi
tch!Getoutofmy
house!
”
Makhosazana:
“Youdon'
tmeant
hat
”
Wakhechuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
ef“
Wher
edoy
ou
t
hinkIwi
llgo?
”
Wakhe:
“Idon'
tgi
vear
atasswoman.Go!Go
now!
”
Makhosazana:“
Youaretheonewhoburnt
Nkanyamba'shouseWakheIgotnowheretogo
andbesi
deI'dbedamnt oleav
eaft
erservi
cing
meliket
hatlastni
ght.Nowonderyourwi
fe
scr
eamslikeawhor esheiswhenyoubangher”
Wakhe'
sbl
oodboi
ledi
fshewasn'tawomanhe
woul
dhavegi
veherahotcl
ap!.
Wakhe:“
Youareonetwist
edwoman!I 'm goi
ng
tohaveyouarr
est
edforsteali
ngmydaught er
.
Siy
akuzamauyazamulasfebe!Getoutofmy
housenow!!
”Hegrabbedherup
Makhosazana:
“Wel
lIguessI'
m gonnahav
eto
t
ell
dearestwif
eaboutlastni
ght
”
Wakhe:
“I
'm goi
ngt
otel
lmywi
femy
sel
fwhen
shecomesbackthatyoudr
uggedmeand
rapedme!Shei
sgoingtoki
ckyouout
!!
”
Makhosazana:“Wewil
lseewhoi sshegoi ngto
bel
ieve.Thecheat
ingbastardthatfuckedher
pati
entormet hevul
nerablepati
entwho
couldn'
tsaynocozshewasscar edofbeing
ki
ckedoutofthehouse”
Wakhe:
“Youarer
eall
ysickontheupstai
rsify
ou
t
hinkmywifewil
lbel
iev
ey ouhornyt
wisted
womannxa!”
Makhosazana:
“Wel
lwi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
”
Wakhegotoutoft hebedroom bangingthe
door.Hecouldn'
tbel
ievetheaudacit
yoft hi
s
woman.Hehadt otell
hiswifefi
rstbefore
Makhosazanado.Hecal l
edherbutshewasnot
answeringhercal
lswhil
eMakhosazanawentt o
thetoi
letandfl
ushedthemorningpill
s.
MNGOMEZULURESI
DENCE
Nomal
angawasdebat
ingwi
thher
sel
ftogo
throughwi tht heplanornot .Lordknowshow
muchshel ov eherhusband.Hemi ghthave
changedt ot hisbeastt hatshecan' trecognise
buthei sagoodmanandagoodf ather.Hei s
j
ustgoi ngt hr oughadi fficultti
mesi nce
Mawakhel omuzi tookal lthebusi nessesaf ter
hef oundoutaboutwhathedi d.Hi sdownf all
is
takingi ttollonhi m.Nomal angaandher
husbandhadt oli
eaboutt hedeat hoft hei
rson
topr ot ectt hei rsonf r
om Nkany ambaev er
ything
changedaf terMawakhel omuzi tookt he
busi nesses.Dav i
d( Nomal anga'shusband)
becamei rr
at ionalandi mpossi ble.Hest ar
ted
blami ngPhakamani f
orhi sdownf alland
want edt oki ll hi
m afteral lhealway sdoubt ed
thathei shi ssonev ent houghhenev ertold
any one.ThatwhenNomal angahadt oaskhel p
from Zesul i
wet ohel pherwhohappenedt o
hav eaf riendwhoownahospi tal.
Noma:
“Mny
eniwami
”Shebreat
houtloudl
y
t
ryi
ngt
ocal
m her
sel
f.Shewasscar
edashell
.
Davi
d:“
Whereishe?”Hesai
dwalki
ngtowar
ds
herl
ookingal
langr
yandreadyt
okil
l
Noma:
“Whatarey
outal
ki
ngabout
?”shesai
d
wi
thatr
emulousvoi
ce
David:“Dontmakememadwoman!Yout hought
Iwillnev erfoundouthuhy oumademeaf ool
Nomal anga.Al lt
histi
meyouhav ebeencryi
ng
crocodilet ears!
”Theymadei tl
ookli
kePKwoke
upandl eftthecountrysi
ncehewasangr y
aboutwhatt heydid.
Noma: “
Idon'tknowwhaty ouar
etalki
ngabout
Bab..
.”Shedidn'tf
ini
shedasheslappedher
tear
st r
ickl
edinhereyes.“
Iswear!
”
Dav
id:
“Ohy
out
hinkI
'
m af
ool
huh!
”
Noma:
“No”shecri
edst
eppi
ngbackwar
dand
t
ookoutherphone
Davi
d:“
Whereishe??
”heroaredi
nanger.
“Who
ar
eyoucall
i
ng? ”Hesnat
chedthephoneand
l
ookedati
tthenhurl
editt
hroughthewal
l.“
I
havesomet
hingf
oryout
oosee”Hedr
agged
hertot
hebasement
.
Noma:
“OhmyGod!
”Shegaspedi
nshock.
David:
“Ireal
i
zedwhychaseafterthatbastar
d
chil
dwhileIcanmakemy sel
fweal t
hy
again.
Youseethi
sismynewf ri
enduKat i
Eli
mny amaheisgoi
ngtoperform ar i
tual
”
KatiEl
i
mny awasseatedonthematappl
yi
ng
someoi l
onIssy
'sbi
gt ummywhowasbutt
nakedlyi
ngonthefl
oorunconsci
ousl
y
Noma:“
Mngomezul uwhyareyouobsesswit
h
weal
thhuh.Acceptyouhav
elostdammit”
Dav
idl
aughedoutl
oudl
y
Davi
d:“Thi
sbabyi sgoingtobet hesacr
ifi
cefor
met obewealthyagain.Everyt
hingIwil
ltouch
wil
lturngol
d.Iwantedbot hofthebabiesbut
Katisai
dthisoneisspecialshewi l
lmakeme
morer i
cher
.Allherpowerswi l
lbelongtome.
Al
lthepeoplethatweregoingt obowdownf or
hertheywil
lbowdownf
orme”Hel
aughedwi
th
grat
ifi
cat
ion.
[
06/
01,
15:
30]W:
74
NARRATED
•
“I
fyouneedti
metothi
nkIcancal
lmywi
fet
o
prepar
earoom f
ory
ou”
Li
we:“
NoI t
sfineIcan'
trunawayy
ouareri
ghtI
havet
ot al
ktomyhusband”shepull
edback
andwipedhertear
s.
Banzi
:“Ar
eyousur
eUnat
hii
sal
socomi
ng
today
”
Unathii
sBanzi'
sdaughterwhowashel pedby
Liwetotal
kyearsago.Liwei
slikeUnathi
'
s
biol
ogi
calmother,
Nolit
hawhoi sawifetoBanzi
andstepmom toUnathihavelearntt
oaccept
thei
rbond.
Li
we:“
Real
ly?It
houghtshewi
l
lcomet
his
December
”
Banzi
:“
Shesaidshehavesomet hi
ngstotake
car
eofy ouknowhowy ourdaught
ershei
s
al
waysv agueevenwhenit
snotnecessar
y”
Theybothsharedagi
ggle
Li
we:“Ican'
twai
ttoseeher.
..
.Ihav
etogonowI
l
eftmyphoneinthecarI'
m sureNomalangais
cal
li
ngnow.ThankyousomuchZwel ibanzi
”
Banzi
:“
Any
timeZesul
i
wey
ouknowIowey
ou
mylif
e”
Liwe:
“Suf unasixabanekemanj eyoudon'
towe
meat hingBanzi .Howmanyt imesdoIhav eto
tel
lyout hatyouneedt ost opfeel
ingli
keyou
oweme.Ihel pedy ourdaughtercozitwas
God'splan.Theper sony ouowei sGod.When
l
astdidy oupr ayjusttothankGodf or
everyt
hinghehasdonef oryou?”
Banzi
:
“Cal
i
le”(
Don'
tst
art
)
Li
we:
“Youknowforsomeonewhowit
nessed
God'
smir
aclesy
oudisappoi
ntme”
Banzi
:
“ComeonZeenott
hist
alkagai
n”
Liwe:
“Sorr
yyouwil
lnev
erhearmetal
kabout
thi
sagain.Thanky
ouonceagai
n”shesmil
ed
fai
ntl
y
Banzi
:“I
fyouneedanythi
ngMrMomozi is
al
wayshereforyou”Theybot
hlaughed
Li
we:
“Di
dyouhav
etor
emi
ndmet
hatbat
hong”
Banzi:“
Sorry
”Theyl aughed.Li
westoodupt hen
Banzi f
oll
owed.Theyshar edahugt henLiwe
madeherwayout .Whenshegott ohercart he
fi
rstthi
ngshel ookedf orwasherphonebutshe
sawherhusband' smi ssedcal
lsonly.She
decidedtocallNomal angaherphonesenther
str
aighttovoicemail
Liwe:“Youbetterbenotf uckingwithme
Nomal anga!”Shecalledheragai nandrecei
ved
thesamer esult.Shethrewherphoneont he
passengerseatf rust
ratedlyandstart
edthecar,
dri
vingt ot
heMngomezul uResidence.Onthe
wayt hereshehadav isi
onaboutherdaught er
I
ssy.Shehi tthebrakehardherheartbeat
ing
l
ikeadr um.“ Youhav egonetoofarnow
Mngomezul u”Shetookherphoneandcall t
he
poli
ce, inf
ormingthem ever
ythi
ngthendrove
l
ikeamadwomant otheMngomezul u
Residence.Shear r
ivedsametimeast hepoli
ce.
Greetingswer eshar
edthentheymadet heir
wayi n.
Pol
i
ce1:“
MrsSi
thol
eyoucanst
ayher
ewewi
l
l
goi
nsi
de”
Li
we:
“Hai
bomydaught
eri
sint
her
e!”
Pol
i
ce1:
“Iknow ma'
am.
..
.”
Liwe:“I
t'
sgoodt
oknowyougetme”Shepushed
throughandwal
kedtot
hebasement
“HandsUp!”Chantedthepolicepoi
nti
nggunsat
Katiwhowasdoi nghi
sbusi nessand
Mngomezuluwhowashol dingagunat
Nomalanga.Withinashortspaceofti
methey
werecuff
ed.
Mngomezul
u:“
Howcoul
dyoubet
rayme
Nomal
anga!
!”Her
oared
Nomal
anga:
“I
'm sor
ry”shecr
ied
Liwe:
“Sor
ry?Sorr
ymyf ootyoureall
ycaused
thi
swomanpai n.Davi
dconsideryoursel
flucky
thaty
ouaregoingtojai
lthepunishmentyou
needwenaisdeath!”
Mngomezul
u:“
Shutbi
tchI
'
m nott
alki
ngy
ou!
”
Li
we:“Goodby
eDav
id”shewentt
oat
tendher
daughter
Mngomezulu:“
Yout ur
nedmei nt
othismonst
er
Nono.IbecameobsesscozIwant edtomake
youhappy.IwantedyoutoseethatIcan
prov
ideforyouandourchil
dren.Iwanted
wealt
hymor eforyouthenmyself
”
Nomal angacr i
edlouder.Herhusband'
swor ds
pier
cedi ntoherheart
.Ifshelovedherhusband
withli
ttl
eheaf for
dedmay betheywcoul
dn'tbe
faci
ngt hispredi
cament.It'
sonlynowshe
noti
cedthepressur
esheputonherhusband.
TheweretimesDav i
dfel
tli
kehewaslosi
ng
Nomalangatosomebi l
li
onai
rewhohethi
nk
mightbePhakamani'sf
ather
.
Nomalanga:
“I
m sorr
y”shecr
iedpai
nful
howshe
wisht
hiswasjustadream.Thepol
icewal
ked
outwi
thKatiandDavid.
Pol
i
ce2:
“Theambul
ancei
scomi
ngMa'
am”
Li
we:“
Iwon'tneedanambulancet
hanky
ousi
r”
Thepoli
cenoddedandwalkedout
.
“
Ayst
opcr
yingnawe!
”
Nomal anga:
“Youar
ebei
ngi nsensit
ivenow.He
i
sst i
l
lmyhusband.Thefatherofmychi ldren.I
neverthoughtourr
oadwil
lendl etal
onel i
ke
thi
s.”
Liwe:“
OkayI '
m sorryIunderst
and.Itsjustt
hat
I'
m angry.Heal mostkil
ledmygr anddaughter
.I
needwat erpleaseandt hetowel”Nomal anga
disappearedwhi l
eLiwet ookoffhercoatand
coveredherdaughter.“OhmybabyI 'm sosorry
”
Shekissedherdr yl
ips.Nomalangawal kedin
withaj ugofwaterandt owel
.Li
wet ookt hej
ug
andplacedherhandont opofthej ugthen
prayed.Shedampt het owelwit
ht hewat erand
wipedherdaught er
'stummywhi lepr ayi
ng.
Afterthatshecuddledherinherar ms.
Nomal
anga:
“Shewi
l
lbeokayt
hough”
Li
we:“Yeseveni
fwedidn'tgetherei
ntimethey
werenevergoi
ngtosucceed.Thisbabyis
pr
otected”
Nomalanga:
“Dav
idsai
dshei
sspeci
alwhat
doest
hatmeans? ”
Liwe:
“I
tsmeans.
..
.”shewasdist
urbedbyIssy
whocoughedandopenedhereyeslazi
ly
.“Baby”
Issybl
inkedt
ear
scloudi
nghereyes.
I
ssy
:“Di
dtheyhur
tme?
”
Liwe:
“Youar
esaf
emyl
ovet
heydi
dn'
ttouch
you”
I
ssy
:“Iwassoscar
edf
ormybabyMommy
”
Li
we:“SheisfinemydearestIssyyouhave
nothi
ngtowor ryabout
.”shewipedher
daughter
'stearsonthesideofherface.“
We
shoul
dgetgoi ng”Theygotup
I
ssy
:“Whyam Inaked?Ohnopl
easedon'
ttel
l
metheyr
apedmeMama”shecr iedhy
ster
ical
ly
Liwe:“
Nosweet hear
ttheydidn'
t”shecupped
herfaceandkissedherfor
ehead“ Youneedt
o
calm down.Theywantedtokill
yourbabybut
wegother einti
me.Theyarearrestednowso
rel
axokay”
I
ssy:
“Okaywhoar
ethey
?”Li
wel
ookedatNoma
whonodded
Li
we:
“Phakamani
'
sfat
her
”
I
ssy
:“Andhert
oor
ight
?”shepoi
ntedatNoma
Li
we:
“NoNomal
ovehergr
anddaught
erI
ssy
”
I
ssy
:“Idon'
ttr
usther
”
Nomalanga:“
Idon'
tblameyoumychi
l
dbutI
pr
omisey ouIwil
lwinyourt
rust
”
Li
we:
“Iwi
l
lcal
lyousi
syouwi
l
lbeal
ri
ghtokay
”
Nomalanga:
“Thanky
ousomuchZesul
i
wef
or
ever
ythi
ng”
Li
we:“
Noprobl
em si
s”Shehel
dherdaught
er'
s
wai
stast
heywalkedout
I
ssy
:“Wher
eismycar
?”
Nomal
anga:
“Iwi
l
lgoandaskhi
m”
Li
we:
“Dontbot
herwewi
l
lbuyheranewone”
I
ssy :
“NoMamat hatcarmeanssomuchtome.
ChocolateCakeboughtitf
ormeandit
'smy
fi
rstcar.
”NomalangalookedatLi
we
Li
we:
“Chocolat
eCakei
sPhakamani
”Thebot
h
womensmiled.
Nomal
anga:
“Iwi
l
lmakesur
eIr
etur
nit
”
I
ssy
:“Pl
easedo.Myli
cense,
ID,
Mybooksand
myphoneisi
nsidet
here”
Nomal anga:“Dontwor ry
”Liweopenedt hedoor
forherdaught erthenwentt ohersight.She
hootedonceanddr ovetoherhouse.Upon
arri
val theywentst rai
ghttoherrondov al where
shecl eansedI ssywi t
hiziwashothenwr appeda
redropear oundherwai sttoprot
ectherandt he
baby .Shewentt ofetchIssy'
swarmt racksui tin
themai nhousepr ay i
ngwithi
nherselfthatshe
doesn' tseeMakhosazanashedoesn' tneed
anythingt hatwillchangehermoodwhenshei s
performi ngherdeeds.Luckyshedi dn'tsee
anyone.
Li
we:“Her
ethatwi
llbeall
.”Shegav
ehert
he
tr
acksui
tsandsl
eepers.
I
ssy:
“Thanky
ouf
orsav
ingme”shesai
dget
ti
ng
dr
essed
Liwe:
“I
tsmyj ob.
.let
'sgoIwil
lmakesomething
toeatfory
ou”Theybot hwalkedi
nthemain
house.Mjwast i
ckli
ngLamiwhowasgiggli
ng
andwr i
ggl
ingastheywalkeddownthest
airs.
Mj
:
“Si
swhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”
Liwe:“
It
sal
ongst
orymyson.Wher
eisy
our
father
?”
Mj
:
“Idon'
tknowandIdon'
tcar
e”
Li
we:
“Hai
boMj
”
I
ssy
:“Hehav
ebeenl
ikethi
ssi
ncemorni
ng
Mama”shesai
dsi
tt
ingdownonthehi
ghchai
r
Li
we:
“Ar
eyouokayson?
”
Mj:
“Yeah”Hepl
acedLami
ont
hecount
eri
n
f
rontofhismom
Lami:
“Phat
hel
eni
Mama”(
Whatdi
dyoubr
ought
formeMama)
Issy
:“Not
hingmysweet
sI'
m sor
rybutt
omor
row
Iwil
l”
Lami
:
“Okay
”Heki
ssedhi
smom'
sfor
ehead.
“
Family
!”screamedKuhleexcit
edl
yasshe
wal
kedinlookingal
lbeauti
ful
andglowi
ng.New
l
oveisreal
lydoinghergood.
Liwe:“
Yeyuy ali
thandaipi
piSqalokuhlekudal
a
wahambal aykhayacishengafonel
a
ukhumbul ekhaya”( Youlovethedi
ck
Sqalokuhl
ey ouhav ebeengonef orsolongI
almostcalledKhumbul ekhaya)Kuhle'
scheeks
turnedredandherey esshotupwhileMj and
Issyshri
ekedwi thlaughter
Kuhl
e:“
Real
l
yMama”
Liwe:
“Velehawu”(
It
'st
rue)shesai
dmaki
ng
Issy
'sfood
Kuhl
e:“
Yout
wowhatar eyoul
aughingat”she
fr
ownedandtheyl
aughedoutmore.“Yousee
Mama”shepouted
Li
we:
“I
tsnotwrongt
othel
oveDmychi
l
d”she
wi
nkedather
.
Kuhl
e:“
Mxm I'
m out”shesai
dgoi
ngawayher
mom pull
edherarm
Li
we:“Youcan'
tbeser
iousyouj
ustgother
e.We
mightnothavedi
cksbutwedomissyou”
Mj
andI
ssyst
art
edl
aughi
ngal
lov
eragai
n
Kuhl
e:“
Maa!
”
Liwe:“What?”shel aughedmakingKuhl e
annoy edthenev er.Wakhegotinandl ookedat
hiswifeandchi ldrenlaughi
ng.Heleaned
againstthewal ljuststari
ngatthem hecan't
l
oset hem, theykeephi m saneandgivehimthe
reasont owakeupwi thasmi l
eonhisf ace
everyday.
Mj
:“
Howar ey
ouMamay
oul
eftsuddenl
yint
he
mor
ning”
Li
we:“
Imfinemyboy”Mj
lookedathismom's
ey
es.Herwordswer
ebetr
ayinghereyest
hat
weref
il
ledwit
hpai
n.
Mj:
“IknowthatIdon'
ttel
lyouof t
enbutIlove
youMama.Youar ethemosti ncredi
blewoman
i
nthewor l
d.Alwaysknowthatweasy our
chi
ldr
enwel oveyou,wewill
beal wayswithyou
nomat t
erwhatandwear eproudt hatyouar
e
ourmother.
”
Liwe:“Ncoooboyngiyanit
handanami”(Il
ove
youal l
)Mj huggedhi
smom andki ssedher
forehead“Youbecomi ngtal
lever
yday”
I
ssy
:“Andhei
swor
kingonsomeabsMama”
Kuhl
e:“
Chesabut
iomncanewhoi
sthi
sgi
rlt
hat
i
nspi
redyou”
Mj
:
“Hai
bosi
sIdon'
tneedagi
rlt
obeheal
thy
”
I
ssy
:“Heal
thyy
ousay
”
Li
we:“
PleaseMj
don'
ti
mpr
egnat
egi
rl
sI'
m
beggi
ngyou”
Mj:“
Imi nf
ert
il
erel
ax”Liwethrewanorangeat
Mj whoduckedandt heorangehi
tWakheonhis
chest.Thatwhentheynoti
cedhispr
esence
Issy:“
Oops”Lami bursti
ntolaught
erandthey
alll
aughedhim exceptMj.Hecouldn'
tstandhis
dad'ssight
.Hefailt
ounder st
andhowcanhe
dothistohismamal etaloneinherhouse.Such
disr
espect.
Lami
:
“Aki
esKhul
u”
Wakhe:“Danki
emyboy ”Hepickedupthe
orangeandwalkedtowardst
hem.Hegav e
Lami t
heorangeandpull
edhiswifecl
oseto
hi
m.“ Imissyou”hest
aresdeepinhereyeshi
s
heartpoundi
nghard
Li
we: “Imi
ssy out oo”shest aresrightbackat
hi
sspar kl
ingey es.Hepul l
edherwi thneckand
ki
ssedherpour inghi shear ti
ntothekiss.How
sorryheis,howhenev ermeantt ohurtherand
howmuchdoeshel oveher .Hebr okeitand
pi
ckedherupbr idalstylethenwal kedwithher
asshehookherar m aroundhi sneck.Hepl aced
heront hebedandt ookofherheel sbefore
si
tti
ngdownandpul ledhert ohislaps.She
cradledhishipsbet weenhert highsandl ooked
athim.
Wakhe:
“Ilov
eyouLiwewami wit
hallmyheart
.I
wil
lnev
erhurtyoui
ntenti
onall
y.Whatam about
tosayr
ightnowdoesn'tchangethewayIfeel
abouty
ou.”
Li
we'shear tthuddedshewasn'tr
eadytohear
whathubbyi saboutt osay.Thet
houghtalone
ofhimt el
li
nghert hatheloveMakhosazana,
shemakehi m happyandhewantt obewi t
hher
broughttearsinherey es.
“Babylookatme”shel ookeddownherl i
ps
shiver
ing.Heli
ftedherchi nupwi t
hhi sfi
nger
andmadehert olookathimt earsstreamed
downherf acefrom thatmomenti tregister
ed
tohimt hatsheknows.Hi sheartbrokeinto
mill
ionpieces“I
m sor r
yLiweInev ermeantt o
hurtyouIswear...
.”
Liwe:
“IknowIhav ebeendif
fi
cult
,shouti
ngat
you,pushi
ngawayanddepr ivi
ngyoubutcould
youhaveat l
eastgi
vemeal it
tl
erespectand
bookahot el
”shewhisperedasmor etear
srol
l
downherf ace.
Wakhe:
“ShedruggedmeLiweIswearIdon't
knowhowendedupi nbedtoget
her
.I
rememberdr
inkingt
hecoff
eeshemadef orme.
Iwillnevereverhurtyouliket hisletalonewith
yourpatientandinourhouse.Youhav eto
beli
ev emeLi weIloveyout oomucht ohurtyou
l
ikethat.Makhosazanai sunt rust
wor thybaby
andIt hi
nksher emember sev erything.Sheis
ontousshewantt odestr oymar r
iage.Letnot
all
owhert osucceedshei sasnakewi t
hseven
headsIsweart oyourGiftshel ur
edmey ou
havet obeli
evemebaby ”Tear sscr olldownhi s
face.“Il
ovey ouLiweonlyy out el
l mey ou
beli
ev emepl ease”Hewhi spered.Shel ookedat
himinhist earyeyessheknowst hismanmor e
sheknowsher self
Li
we:“Ibel
i
ev eyou”sheburiedherf
aceinhi
s
neckandcriedharderwett
inghisneck.
Wakhe:“
I'
m sorr
y”Herubbedherback“Im soso
sosorr
y.Inevermeantanyofthi
stohappen
mylove.Iwil
lspendt
herestofmylifeshowing
youhowsorryIam.Ngicel
auxoloLiwewami ”
Li
we:
“I
tsnoty
ourf
aul
tWakhe.I
'
mtheonewho
br
oughtthi
swomani
ntoourl
i
ves.Howcoul
dI
besostupi
d”
Wakhe:
“Youwerefol
lowingyourancest
ors
or
derslov
ey oudi
dntknowshei sasnake”she
l
if
tedherheadfr
om hisneckandlookedathim
Liwe:“
Whyar etheymi sl
eadi
ngmeke?Thi s
prophecyismessingwi thmebabyIwi shI
couldrever
sei t
.It
smaki ngmeaf oolever
yti
me!
Ngathiangizazii
zindabazami.Al
lthebad
thi
ngsareal waysonest epaheadofme.Idon't
wantitanymor eWakhe”
Wakhe:“Youar ebei
nghardonyourselfmylove.
Don'
tforgetthatyoucan'
tcontr
oleverythi
ng
youonlyfoll
owwhatGodandancest ors
manif
estt oyou.Theyonl
yrevealwhatthey
wanti
tt obeknown.Whent heydecidetonot
showev eryt
hingtoyoudon'
tputtheblameon
youIbel i
evetheyhaveareasonforthat”
Liwe:
“Wakhet
heysai
dImusthelpt
hiswoman,
thever
ysamewomanwhost ol
emybaby ,
who
i
snowaf t
ermyhusbandandwhowantt o
destr
oymymar r
iageitdoesn'
tmakesense.
Ain'
ttheysuppor
tt oprot
ectus?”
Wakhe: “
Iwi shIhaveall
theanswersmyl ov
e
butIbelievetheywill
giveyouanswerssoonor
l
at er
.Theyal waysdopleasedon'
tcry.
”He
plantedkissesonherwetf acewit
htearsand
snotstastingthesalt
.Thewasasof tknockon
thedoor.
“Comei n”Makhosazanawal kedinWakhe
clenchedhisjawwhi l
eLi
wef eltdisr
espect
ed.
Firstshesleptwit
hherhusbandi nherhouse
nowshei ssett
ingherst
inki
ngf eeti
nher
bedr oom.akamuzwamosl omf azi“
Whatare
youdoi nghere!
”
Makhosazana:
“Li
we.
..
.”
Li
we:“
Zesul
i
wet oy ouI
'm Zesul
i
we”shesaid
get
ti
ngupfrom herhusband'
sthighsandsat
downnextt
ohim.
Makhosazana:
“Zesul
i
weI
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmean
tohurtyou.Iwasscaredhewillt
hrowmeoutI
neverwantedtobetr
ayy ouli
kethat.Yourisked
yourli
feformeevenaf t
erIneverdeservedit.
I
'm sosorry.
..
”
Wakhe:
“St
opl
yi
ngmaany
oudr
uggedme!
”
Makhosazana:
“Hei
slyingZesul
iweInever
druggedhi
m.HeseducedmeIswear .Pl
ease
beli
eveme”shebur
stintot
earsandwentdown
onherknees
Wakhe:“Babysheislyi
ngdon'tli
stentoher
Makhosazanatell
thedamnf ucki
ngtrut
h!What
didyoupourinmycof feehuh”Hewasonhi s
feetnowfli
nchi
nghi sf
ists.Makhosazanawas
real
lyworki
ngonhi snerves
Liwe:
“I
fyousayheseducedy
outhenwhydi
d
youenter
tai
nedhi
m.Youknowheismarr
ied
ri
ght?
”
Makhosazana:
“It
snotanexcusethatIhaven'
t
beeni
nti
mat eforyear
ssowhenhet ouchedme
Icoul
dn'
tresi
stIm sor
ry.Youar
egooda
womanZesul i
wey oudon'tdeservewhatwedi d
toyouI'
m sorr
yI'mr eal
l
ysorryItstaketwoto
cheatsoItakeful
lresponsi
bil
ityhealsohaveto
dothesameandst oplyi
ng.Inevergetoutof
thi
shousewi t
houty ouwhenIwoul dhave
boughtdrugs?”
Wakhe:“
Jesusthi
swoman!Whatki ndofa
humanbeingarey ou!If
eltsor
ryfory
oubuty
ou
areanungrat
efulhomewr ecker!Mywif
e
shoul
dhavelefty
our otinther
enxa!!
”
Makhosazana: “ZesuliweIwi l
lunderstandifyou
kickmeoutofy ourhouse.Hei syourhusband
youwi llbeli
evehi m ov ermebutI'mt ell
ingthe
truth.Heist heonet hatsai dyouhav ebeen
i
mpossi ble, shoutingathi m,pushinghi m away
asi fhedoesn' tfeelthepainy ouarefeel i
ng.He
saidy ouhav en'tbeeni nti
mateforthewhol e
mont hev eryti
mewhenhet ryyoupolitely
refuse..
..”
May
beev
ery
onesawt
hatLi
wehav
ebeen
i
mpossi bl
etoherhusbandbuttheinti
mat epar
t
wassupposet obeknownbyt hetwooft hem.
Howdi dMakhosazanaknowaboutt hei
r
bedroom aff
air
s.Wakhenoticedthathiswifei
s
star
tingtobel
ievet
hiscr
azywoman.
Wakhe:“
Babysheisly
ingIdon'
tknowwheredid
shegetall
thi
snonsense.St
oplyi
ngbi
tch.
..”
Makhosazana:“
YoudidMawakhel omuzi I'
m not
crazyokayyoutol
dmeal l oft
hisbeggingmet o
gi
v eitt
oyouandIdel i
ver
ed”shesaidsocal mly.
Shewasr eal
lypl
ayinghergame.Di f
ferent
emot i
onssurr
oundedWakhebutanger
overpoweredotheremotionshelostitand
backslappedMakhosazanashef allonthefl
oor.
Li
wewasshockedt othecoreneverevenonce
hadherhusbandl
aidhishandonawoman.
Wakhelookedathi
swi f
ewho'sey est
hatwere
fi
ll
edwit
hshockchangedintodisgust
.
Wakhe:
“MommyQueenI
'm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmean
t
oIlosti
tohGodI
'
m sor
ry”Hetri
edtot
ouch
hershef
li
ncheduncomf
ort
abl
y.“
Liwe.
..
”
Liwe:“
Donttouchme!”Shegotupandwentt
o
fetchthet
owel andgav
eMakhosazanatowi
pe
thebloodthatwascomingonhernose.“
Her
e”
Makhosazana:
“Thanky
ou”shecr
ied.
Li
we:
“I
m sor
ry”
Wakhewipedsweatonhisforeheadandsat
downonthefl
oorfeel
i
ngdef eated.Thel
ookhi
s
wif
egavehim br
okehisheart.
Wakhe: “
Im sorryMakhosazana”hiseyeswere
bloodshotredhi svei
nspoppingevenonhis
hands.Hewassoangr y,
hurt,
shatter
ed,br
oken.
Wi t
hinashor tspaceofti
meal othave
happened.Justwhenhet houghthiswif
eis
forgi
vinghim herecomesMakhosazanaand
exacerbatethesi t
uat
ion.
Makhosazana:
“Here”ShegaveLiwethephone
whoplayedthevideo.Shesawherhusband
say
ingallt
hethingsMakhosazanasaidand
ki
ssingherandgrabbi
ngherbutt.Wit
hin
secondshewasbangingherli
ket heworl
dis
endingandgroani
ng“OhKhosi!Umnandi Khosi
aaaahh”
Wakhe:
“Youbi
tch!.
..
Liwest
opwatchi
ngthat
vi
deo”Hecoul
dn'tremembersay
ingal
lofthi
s.
Whatki
ndofdrugsdidhegavehim?Hethought
.
Thescreenwaswetwi t
hLiwe'stear
sherhands
wereshiveri
ng.“
Liwemaan!”Hesnatchedt
he
phonefrom herandsmasheditonthewall
.l
t
shat
ter
edi ntopi
eces
Makhosazana:
“I
m sor
ryZesul
i
we”
Li
we:“
Howdidyouknowthi
swil
lhappenImean
whydoyouhav
eav i
deo”Shewi
pedhertear
s
Makhosazana:
“I
..
.I
..
”shest
utt
ered
Liwe:“Takeyourbel
ongingsandleavemy
houseMakhosazana.I'm doi
ngyouaf avour
every
thingyouhaveItsmymoneyi ncl
uding
thatt
ightdressyouareweari
ngtoseducemy
husband.
”
Makhosazana:
“Zesul
i
weIhav
enowher
eto
go.
..
”shecried
Liwe:“Youshouldhavethoughtaboutt hat.
Leav enow!Makesur eshel eavet hehouse
Wakhe”Makhosazanacr iedbeggi ngLi wet o
forgiveherbutLiwecouldn'tbarge.Wakhe
draggedMakhosazanaupandwal kedout
l
eav ingLiweintearscur
ledi nt
of oet uspositi
on
onherbed.Shet ookherphoneandcal ledGogo
Msi bi
GogoMsi
bi:
“Hel
l
omt
anami
”
Li
we:
“Gogo”shebur
sti
ntoasob.
GogoMsibi
:
“OhMtanami whati
swrong?I
s
Nkosi
namandl
aokay?”shepani
cked
Li
we:
“EhGogo”
GogoMsi
bi:
“Tal
ktomesi
s”
Li
we:“
Theyf
ail
edmeGogo.TheysaidImust
hel
pMakhosazanabutshei
sasnake.Shewant
todestr
oymymarri
ageshesl
eptwit
hmy
husbandGogoi
t'
shurt
sIcan'
tevenbreat
h”
GogoMsi bi
:“OhbabyI '
m sosor r
y.Ifeelyour
pain.It
oldy out onotall
owst r
esst otakeover
cozy oulosef ocus.Youwer esupposet osee
thi
sandIal way stelly
out hatyouhav eto
beli
eveiny ourancestors.Theywoul dn'
thav e
tol
dy outohel pMakhosazanawi thouta
reason.”
Li
we:
“Ther
easoni
stol
osemymar
ri
age?
”
GogoMsibi
:“
Nobabytof
indoutwhydi
dshe
st
oleNkosi
sthandi
l
e”
Li
we:“
Whydidn'
ttheyshowusfr
om t
hefir
st
pl
aceshest
oleher!Theyar
esousel
ess!
”
GogoMsibi
:“
Takebackthosewor dsZesul
i
we
youar
einvi
ti
ngyour
selfbadlucks”
Li
we:“I
tsnotsomethi
ngnewmos.Badlucks
areal
lovermysel
fandmyfami
l
yleftr
ightand
cent
er!
”
GogoMsi
bi:
“Zesul
i
we!
”
Li
we:“I
'
m sor
ry.Iki
ckedheroutIguessIwi
l
l
neverf
oundoutwhyshestolemydaughter
”
GogoMsi bi:
“Ifi
tmeantforyoutofoundoutyou
wil
l.I
'
m sorrysthandwasami fort
hepainyou
aregoingthroughpleasedon'
tbehardonyour
husband”
Liwe:
“Iunder
standthatshedruggedhim or
whateversheeventookthevi
deoIsawi t
..
.”
Shecouldn'
tfi
nishandbursti
ntotears.She
swearthatshehaveneverheardhim groani
ng
l
ikethat.
GogoMsibi:
“I
'm sorrymybabyandt akethat
vi
deooffyourmind.Yourhusbandloveyouand
hewil
lneverhurtyouint
ent
ional
ly
.Forgiv
ehim
si
sihemustbebr okent
oo.”
Li
we:
“Iheary
ougogo”
GogoMsi
bi:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Li
we:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”Theyhungup.Thatwhen
shefel
therhusband'
spresence.Het
ookoffhi
s
shoesandcrawlednextt
oherandpull
edher
i
ntohisarms.
Wakhe:“Ngiy
axolisaLiwe”(I
'
m sorryLi
we)“ I
knowsor r
ydoesn' ter
asethepaininyourheart
mylovepleaseallowmespendev erysingl
e
secondshowi ngy ouhowsorryIam please
don'
tleavemel if
ewi t
houtyouisnolif
ebaby ”
Li
we:“
Whosai
dI'
m goi
ngt
oleav
eyou”He
l
ookedher
Wakhe:
“Youwon'
tl
eav
eme”
Liwe:
“Thesi
tuat
ionwasbeyondy
ourcont
rolI
knowinyoursanemindyouwoul
dn'
thavedone
that
”
Wakhe:
“ThankyouthankyousomuchLiweI
pr
omiseIwill
nevereverhur
tyou.Il
ovey
ouso
muchMommyQueen”
Li
we:“Il
oveyoutooDaddyKing.Pl
easeWakhe
l
etitbethef
irstandl
astyouhitawoman”
Wakhe:
“Ipr
omi
sesweet
hear
t”
Liwe:“
Iwil
lreall
yappreci
ateifyoutalkt
ome
Wakhe.Yesy ouweredruggedbuty ouwer
e
expressi
ngy ourfeel
i
ngsont hatvi
deoam I
l
ying”
Wakhe:
“Okaymay
bey
es.
..”
Li
we:
“YesorNo”
Wakhe:“
YesI'm sorr
yIshoul
dhave
communicatedwi t
hyoubutthatv
ideoi
s
exagger
ati
ngIcan'tevenremembersay
ing
thosewords”
Li
we:“
Celaungaphi
ndeuphisanengokudl
a
kwami”(
Pleasenevergi
veupwi t
hmyf ood)
Wakhe:“Uy
azinawest
handwasamibengingeke
ngi
kwenzelokho”(
YouknowIwoul
dn'thave
donethatmylove)
Liwe:“
Iknowbuthowitwoul
dhavemadey
ou
feeleveni
fIwasunderi
nfl
uence?
”
Thet
houghtmadehi
sbodyhot
.Hewi
l
l
def
inet
leygocr
azyi
fLi
wecoul
dgi
vesomeone
hi
sfood.
Wakhe:
“I
'dt
urnt
hewor
ldupsi
dedowny
err
!”
Liwe:
“Promisemewhetheryouaredr
ugged,
drunkorunderaspel
lyounevergi
veupwithmy
foodplease”
Wakhe:
“Ipr
omi
semyl
ove”
Shecuppedhi sfaceandkissedhim,thekiss
wassoemot i
onalandint
ense.Hef l
i
ppedt hem
overposit
ioni
nghimselfbetweenherthighs.He
caressedherbreastmakinghertomoansof t
ly.
Li
we:
“Uhm babewehav
etogety
out
est
edf
ir
st”
Hel
ookedatherwi
thhal
fhoodedey
es
Wakhe:
“Idon'
thav
edi
seases”
Li
we:
“Ican'
ttaket
hatr
iskmychi
l
drenst
il
lneed
me”
Wakhe:
“Shehav
en'tbeenwit
hsomeone
st
handwasamiforoveradecade”
Liwe:
“Andi
fyoutest
ednegat
ivewewi l
lwai
tfor
the3monthsthati
sadvi
sedtotestagai
n”
Wakhewi
denhi
sey
esandhi
smout
hwi
deopen.
“
Closey
ourmout
hfl
i
eswi
l
lgot
hrough”
Wakhe:
“YhobabyI
'
m sor
ryokay
..
.”
Li
we:“
Ohmylovet
hisi
snotapunishment
.I
wantt
obesaf
etyf
ir
stnotunl
essi
fweprotect
our
sel
ves”
Wakhe:“
Iwon'
tmakel
ovet
omywi
fewi
tha
r
ubber?Never
!!
!”
Li
we:
“Awasazi
keKhehl
a”
Wakhe:“
Godpl
easet
akemeplease”he
gr
oanedmaki
nghert
ogiggl
e
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Idon'
tknowwhatdoesPK'
sfat
herwantf
rom
mef i
rstheal
mostki
l
ledmenowthi
snx!I
'm
gl
adhei
sinj
ail
Iwi
sht
heyt
hrowt
hekeyaway
.
Wewer eintheloungeaski
ngoursel
veswhat
happened.Makhosazanalef
twithherbagsand
themoodwasi ntense.Dadevenhadbloodshot
redeyes.Icoul
dn'tputmyfi
ngeronwhatis
goingon
Kuhl
e:“
Mjy
ouseem l
i
key
ouknownj
etel
lus”
Mj
:
“Whydon'
tyouasky
ourdaddy
”
Me:
“ComeonMj
”
Mj
:
“Hay
imaansi
ster
s!”hesnapped
Kuhl
e:“
Fusegwenawear
eyourel
der
srespect
ushawu!!
”
Mj:
“I
m sor
ryI
'
mj ustfr
ust
rat
edei
sh.Cany
ou
gi
rl
sdomeaf av
our ”
Me:
“Tel
lusf
ir
st”
Mj
:
“Asky
ourf
ather
”
“Askmewhat?
”Weall
lookedupatMommy
andDaddywhower
ehandinhand.
Mj
:
“Lamany
alaowenzay
oemzi
nikaMama”
Dad:
“Ngi
zokukhahl
elay
ezwasuyanyamanj
e!”
hemarchedtohim mom pul
l
edhisarm
Mom:“Cal
m downJobe.Mjwhatwi
thyouhuh?
Where'
srespect
?Thi
sisnothowwerai
sed
you!
”
Mj:
“Hecan'
tdothingst
hatmakemel ose
r
espectf
orhim anddemandrespectMama!
”
Mom:“
Youareachil
dMj knowyourpl
aceand
st
ayawayf
rom ourbusi
nessdoyouhearme!!
”
Mj
:
“YesMama”
Mom:
“Good”
Mj:
“I
m out
”Hest
oodupandl
eftwi
thLami
in
hi
sarms
Kuhl
eandIl
ookedateachotherconfused.
Theywaymom wasangrywedidn'tdareask.
Theybot
hsatdownandlookedus.
Dad:
“Br
eat
h”Heki
ssedmom onhercheekwho
smi
l
edaf
tert
hat
Mom:
“Bant
wanabami
”
Us:
“Mama”
Mom:“Wehavesomethi
ngtotell
you”Weboth
l
ookedatt
hem inant
ici
pati
on“Uhm t
her
e'sno
ot
herwaythenIcansaythi
s”
Me:
“Pl
easedon'
ttel
lmey
ouar
edi
vor
cing”
Dad:
“NoI
ssywhywoul
dwedi
vor
ce”
Kuhl
e:“
Ify
ouar
enotdi
vor
cingt
henwhati
sit
?”
Mom:
“Phakamanii
sali
ve”Iswearf
ora
momentt
hereIfr
oze
Kuhl
elaughedl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughed
Me:
“Youar
ejoki
ngr
ight
?”
Dad:
“Nosweet
hear
t”
Mom wentonandexpl
ainedbyt
hatt
imeKuhl
e
andIwer
ebothcry
ing.
Kuhl
e:“
May
oushoul
dhav
etol
dus.
Thet
ear
s
wewast
ed”
Mom:
“I
m sor
rywehadt
opr
otecthi
m”
Me:
“So.
.soy
ouar
enotcheat
ingwi
thMrNkomo?
”
Mom:
“YesIloveyourf
athert
oomucht
ohur
t
hi
mli
kethatIssy
”
Me:
“I
'm sor
ryMama”
Mom:
“I
tsokaybaby
”
Me:
“CanIseehi
m”Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Mom:
“Yesofcour
se”
Withthatsai
dwedrov
et othehospi t
al.My
heartwasbeati
ngf
astIcouldn'tbeli
eveiteven
thoughsomehowIfel
tthatheisnotdeadbut
themor eday
swentbyIstartedtobeliev
ei t
.
Mom l edust
other
oom.Ir ushedt ohimt osee
i
fitsreall
yhi
m.
Me:“
OhmyGodChocolat
eCake”I
twasreal
l
y
hi
m hei
sst
il
lthegor
geousmanev
enincoma
andhi
sbear
dcov
eredhi
scheeks.
Kuhle:
“Wowthi
sisunbel
i
evabl
e”Shewi
pedher
tear
s.MrNkomowalkedin.
MrNkomo:
“Si
thol
efam”Wegr
eet
edback
Me:
“Wheni
shegoi
ngt
owakeupdoc?”
MrNkomo:
“Idon'
tknowmychi
l
dit
sbeena
mont
hnow”
Me:
“Canhehearus”
MrNkomo:
“Yes”
Kuhle:
“I
sther
eanythi
ngbesi
debei
ngi
ncoma
thatweneedtoknow”
MrNkomo: “Hi
sspi
nalcor
dwasi
njur
edso
expectt
hathewon'
tbeablet
owal
kagai
n”
Myhear
tsank
Me:“
Everagai
n?”Iwhi
sper
edt
ear
sst
reami
ng
downmyf ace
MrNkomo:“Wearenotcer
tai
nMiss.Wehave
t
owaitunt
ilhewaket
henwewi l
lknowf
rom
t
her
e”
Kuhl
e:“
OhmyGod”
Me:“
Aslongashei sal
iv
eI '
m happy”Iwiped
mytearsandsqueezedhiscoldhand.
“
Chocolat
eCakeIt'
smeKi tKat.I
'
dliket
obeliev
e
youhearme”
MrNkomo:“
Iwil
lseeyouguy
sIhav
eto
cont
inuewi
thmyrounds”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryMrNkomof
orbei
ngr
ude”
MrNkomo: “
Dontst
ressMrMbuzi
under
stand”
Theyl
aughed
Me:
"I
'm al
sosor
ryaboutt
hat
”
MrNkomo:“AhhI'
m usedtopeopl
ecall
ingmy
sur
nametheywayitsui
tthem”Helookedat
mom wealll
aughed.Hethendi
sappear
ed
Dad:
“Wehav
etoseeI
nat
oomakei
tsnappy
gi
rl
s”
Me:
“Butwej
ustgother
edaddy
”
Dad:
“Wewil
lwaitf
oryouatt
hewait
ingar
ea”
Theywal
kedoutKuhl
ethenIal
sodi
d.
Kuhle:“
Wher eareyougoing?”Il
ookeddownI
fel
tli
keI'
m betrayi
ngheronceagai nifIst
ay
eventhoughmyhear twant
edsobadt ostay
"I
ssylookatme”Il ookedupathert ear
sroll
ed
downmyf ace.“Gointhereyourchocolat
e
cakeneedy ousis”
Me:
“NoI
..
.”
Kuhl
e:“Idon'
thav
eaprobl
em I
ssy.Thatyour
manrightther
eandheneedyou.Go”Ismiled
Me:“
Thankyousomuchsi
s”Wehuggedbutour
bel
l
iesweremaki
ngi
thardt
houghwelaughed.
Kuhl
e:“
Ilov
eyousi
s”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Kuhl
e:“
Stayasl
ongasy
ouwant
.Iwi
l
lfet
ch
you”
Me:“
Thanky ou”Sheki
ssedmyforeheadt
henI
wentinsi
de.Iwalkedt
owardshi
sbedandheld
hishand.“ Thedocsai dy oucanhear ..Please
comebackl ov e.Lifewi thouty ouhav ebeen
gloomy ,i
mpossi ble,wor thless, meaningl ess.
Comebackt uImi ssy ou.Lami missy ou”I
wipedmyt earst hatcoul dn'tst opfal
ling“ Iknew
youwon' tdieonmepl easewakeup. ”Itookhi s
handandpl acedi tonmyt ummy“ Meetour
mi r
acleprincess.Pr i
ncessmeetdaddy ..
.she
doesn'twantt oki ckt odayuy azit
shelabutshe
l
ov .
..
.”Ididn'tfini
shedsheki ckedhar d.“ Ohh
babydi dyouheart hat”Sheki ckedhar der.The
machi nestartedbeepi ngr apidly.“
Whati sgoing
on...
baby...
PK!”Iwentt ocall forhelp
Nur
se:
“St
ayout
sideMi
ssSi
thol
e”
Me: “
Not hatmychocolatecakeIcan'tInee..
.”
Theyshutt hedooronmyf ace.Icouldn'
thelp
butcry.Iwaspanickingpaci
ngupanddown.
Afterawhi l
ethedooropened.MrNkomoand
thenursewal kedout.“
Whatishappening”I
pushedt hroughwit
houtevenwaitingforthem
toreply.Therehewasseatedont hebed
“CHOCOLATECAKE! ”Ir
antohim and
squeezedhi
mi nmyarmsbuthedidn'
tret
urn
thehug.Il
ookedathi
m“Baby”helookedatme
confused
PK:
“Whoar
eyou?
”
Me:
“Ki
tKatPhakamani
,yourKi
tKat
”
PK:
“Hayi
sisIdon'
tknowy
ouj
ustl
eav
eme
al
one!
”
Myhear
tbr
oke
Me:
“PKlookat.
..
”Hecutmeoffwi
thabreat
h
t
aki
ngkiss.“
Ohwow”Iwhisper
edandopened
myeyeslazi
l
y
PK:
“MyKi
tKat
”Hebr
ushedmyf
ace
Me:
“Nev
erdot
hatagai
n”Hel
aughed
PK:
“Iwi
l
lfor
gett
hem al
lbutnoty
ou”
Me:
“Imi
ssy
oupl
easenev
erl
eav
emeagai
n”
PK:“
Ipromi
semylov
e.”Wehuggedagai
n
pr
incesski
cki
ngl
i
kesheisi
nthecompeti
ti
on.
“Wowwegotasoccerpl ayerhere”Hebr ushed
myt ummyandsmi l
edasPr i
ncesskick“ Hey
youitsdaddyohy eahitis.
”Hel ookedatme
wit
hat winkleinhiseyes“Thanky ou”He
whisperedt earsrol
li
ngdownhi sf ace.Ikissed
himt asti
ngt hesaltofhi
stears
[
06/
01,
15:
31]W:
75
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Ipull
edbackandwi pedhist
ear
s.Itfeltl
ikea
dream.Howl ongIhavebeenmissingthis.We
wentquietandlookedateachotherdeepi nt
o
theeyesall
owingoureyestodothet al
ki
ng.He
brokethesweetsil
entaft
erawhil
e
PK:
“Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ouar
est
il
lpr
egnant
”
Me:“
Iwasshockedt
oo.If
oundoutt
hedayy
ou
di
ed..
.”hecutmeof
f
PK:
“Di
ed?
”
Me:
“Yes”Iwentonexpl
ainedwhathappened
PK:
“I
sthi
samov
ieorwhat
?”
Me:“Iknewy ouwon'tdi
eonme.Icoul dn'
tfeel
yourdeath.Thedayy oudi
eIwillknowandIwi l
l
feeli
t.YouandIar eonefl
eshwebr eaththe
sameai r”Hesmi l
edwidel
yandkissedme
deeplyIcouldfeelmycli
tdanci
ng.Ipull
edout
“Youarecr eat
ingadam downthereMr ”Hebit
e
hisbottom li
p
PK:“Thati
snotaprobl
em papai
sawakehewi
l
l
takecareoft
hat”
Me:
“Papaneedt
oheal
fir
st.Howar
eyou
t
hough”
PK:
“Wel
lexceptt
hatIcan'
twal
kI'
m okay
”
Me:“
Ilovet
hewayy
ouar
enotal
l
owi
ngt
hist
o
af
fectyou”
PK:“
Thedoct
orsaidIMIGHTneverbeableto
walkagai
nsothere'
spossi
bil
i
tyt
hatIwill
walk
agai
n.Aft
ert
hesur v
ival
ofourpr
incess
anyt
hingi
spossibl
e”
Me:“Tr
uethat.DamnImi
ssy
ou”Ir
anmy
f
ingersonhischeeks
PK:
“Imi
ssedy
oumor
e.Howar
emyki
ds”
Me:“Thandoisfi
ne.Edwardfi
nall
ycamet ohi
s
senses.Theywelcomedherwithwar m hands.I
l
ovet hei
rbondit
soutofthisworld.Heis
tr
eatingherl
ikeapri
ncesssheis.”
PK:“
Ncoothati
ssosweetyouguy
sdeser
ve
happi
ness.Mysonhowishe?”
Me:“Heisgrowingupev er
ydayhenevergoa
daywithouttal
kingaboutyou.Hewant
dreadl
ockscany oubeli
evehim?”Welaughed
PK:“
Gir
lsbedroppi
ngt
hei
rpant
iesI
'
mtel
l
ing
you”Wegiggl
ed
Me:“
Helov
ehissi
stertothepoi
ntt
hathecr
ies
whenshei
snotki
cking”
PK:
“Ncoot
hati
ssosweet
.Ican'
twai
ttosee
hi
m”
Me:
“Hewi
l
lbehappy
.”
PK:
“Whatdi
dImi
ssout
”
Me:“
Alotbaby.Mzwakhei
sher
eandy
ouwon'
t
bel
i
evewhoi shi
sfat
her?”
PK:
“Mzwakhey
ourex?
”
Me:
“Yep.Hi
sfat
heri
sVi
ncent
”
PK:
“Si
hle'
shusband?
”
Me:
“Yep”
PK:
“WowIhopehei
snother
etotakeyouand
mysonawayfr
om me.Hemustst
aythehel
l
awayf
rom y
ouandLami”
Me:
“Uhm i
t'
snott
hateasy
”Hel
ookedatme
wi
thnarr
owedeyes
PK:
“Whatdoest
hatsupposet
omean?
”
Me: “
Lamiisfondofhim babysoIgav ehima
chancetohav earelat
ionshipwit
hhim butI
didn'
ttel
lhi
mi t'
shisfatherIdon'
twantto
confusehim”
Hi
sfacef
lushedwi
thanger
PK:“
Wher ehavehebeenallalong!Thembal
ami
i
smyson!Idon' twantthatbastar
dnearmyson
Khethokuhl
e”Haahfull
name
Me:
“Lamili
kehim baby.If
eltbadev
eryt
ime
t
hatIhavetoshoutathim whenhewant
Mzwakhe”
PK:“LamineededhisfatherI
'
m backnow
Mzwakhecanbackof f.Hehavenor i
ghttoplay
daddynowaf terhetr
eatedyouthewayhedi d.
Didn'thesayyoumustgetr i
doftherubbish?
Whatdoeshewantnow?Thembal ami i
smy
sonwhenwegetmar r
iedheisgoingtouse
Mngomezul uashislastname”
PKisthefat
herofmysonev er
yoneknowsand
hehaveeveryri
ghttohaveasayinhisli
fe.He
wastheresi
ncehewasi nmyt ummyunt i
l now
butIf
orseedramacozSi hl
e'
shusbandwont
al
lowLami t
ouseMngomezul uashisl
ast
name.“Whyarey ounotsayi
nganythi
ngy ou
don'
twantLami touseMngomezulu”
Me:“
IdobabyI
'
mjustshockedt
othepar
tthat
whenwegetmarr
ied”
PK:
“Don'
tbemyl
oveIwi
l
lwi
fey
ou”
Me:
“Ican'
twai
ttobeMrsMngomezul
u”He
smi
l
edIcouldn'
thel
pbutsmi
let
oo.
PK:“St
handwasami Iwantust ost
artafreshon
acleanslat
e.Il
ov eyouKatsomucht hatIdon'
t
knowwhatt odowi t
hmy sel
f.Iwanttowi f
eyou
andbuyabi ghouset hatwil
loccupyallofour
10chil
dren”Iwidenedmyey es
Me:
“10ayngekeMngomez
ulu”
PK:“8morelef tbabyatleast”Il
aughedthi
sguy
gottabekiddingme.Iai n'tnobabymaking
machine.10chi ldr
enhemustbehi gh.“
Iwant
youtopromi semet hatyouwi l
lbewit
hmeno
mat t
erwhathappenbet weenus.Iwantt oknow
thatIgotyoubabyal lt
heway ”
Me:
“Ipr
omi
sebaby
”
PK:
“Nomor
efucki
ngTbosenomor
edumpi
ng
me”
Me:“Iwon'tt
oleratecheati
ngPKsoIwon' t
promi sey
out hatIwon'tdumpy ouasfor
fuckingTboset hatwi
llneverhappenagai
nhei
s
seeingmysi sterSqal
okuhle”
PK:
“MySqal
okuhl
e?”
Me:“YourSqal
okuhl
e?”Il
ookedathi
m wi
tha
r
aisedbrow
PK:
“YouknowwhatImeanbaby
”
Me:
“NoIdon'
tPK”
PK:
“LookIhat
eTbosewi
thev
ery
thi
nginme
whyisal
waysaft
ermywomenhuh?”
Me:
“Yourwomen?It
houghty
oudi
tchedKuhl
e”
PK:“YesbutwhydidhechoseKuhl eoutallt
he
womeni ntheworld?Thatboyisalwaysonto
meandI '
m gett
ingsickofit
!Hescr ewedyou
andnowhei sseeingKuhle.I
thavet oendnow
nochildofminewillcal
lTbosedaddyhellno!I
n
factIwanthi
mv eryfarfr
om Kuhle”Heee
madodaut
hini
loguyki
mi
Me:“Whyar ey
oujealousyoubroket
hingsof f
withKuhleandshemov edonwhycanty ou
all
owhert obehappy.Whethershei
sdating
Tboseorwhoi tsnotyourbusi
nessnotunlessif
yousti
llwantherback”
PK:
“Nobabyshecanhav
eany
onenotTbose”
Me:
“PKdoy
oust
il
ll
ovemysi
ster
?”
PK:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Me:
“I
t'
slookl
i
keyouhav
en'
tmadey
ourmi
nd
whodoyouwant
.”
PK:
“Thati
snott
rue!
”
Me:“
Dontyel
latmecozi t
strue.Lookaty
ouPK
youaref
umingwi t
hangerthatmysist
erfi
nal
l
y
moveonfrom you.
”
PK:“
Youcan'
texpectmet
ojuster
aseherl
ove
l
ikethat”
Me:
“Ohokayl
etmel
eav
eyou”
PK:“
Babycomeony ouar
eov
err
eact
ing”
.I
chuckl
edi
ndisbel
i
ef
Me:“Overreacti
ng?Wowby ePKitwasniceto
knowmychi ldrenstil
lhaveaf at
her
”Imade
mywayoutIcan' tbel
iev
ePK.Iwaspr eparedto
giv
eusasecondchancebutI t
slookli
kehe
doesn'tknowwhathewantandt hatcr
ushmy
soul.I
tslookl i
keI '
mlosinghimyetagai
n.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Lwazi
:
“Youhavebecomeast r
angermyf
ri
end”
Weweretal
kingonthephoneasIwasdr
ivi
ng
tot
hehospi
tal.
Me:
“Im sor
rythi
ngshavebeenhect
icIpr
omi
seI
wi
ll
makei tuptoyou”
Lwazi
:
“Wher
eist
hathotbr
otherofy
our
s”
Me:
“Uy
awathandaamadodamnganami
”(You
l
ovemenmyfri
end)shel
aughed
Lwazi:
“AndIwon'
tst
opunt
ilIseear
ingonmy
l
efthand.”
Me:
“Mybr
otheri
sof
fli
mit
s”
Lwazi
:
“Comeondon'
tbel
i
ket
hat
”
Me:“
Hehavehiseyesonhi
sbabymamasav
e
your
sel
fhear
tache”
Lwazi
:“
Youar
ereal
l
ypushi
ngmeaway
”I
l
aughed
Me:
“I
'mt
ell
i
ngt
het
rut
h”
Lwazi
:“
Youwantt
obemar
ri
edal
oneKonkeu-
wrongyaz”
Me:
“Wear
enotsur
eaboutt
hatany
mor
e”
Lwazi
:
“Inal
ovey
oubabyhewi
l
lfor
giv
eyou”
Me:
“Ei
shy
out
hinkso”
Lwazi:
“Iknowso.St
opst
ressi
ngmyni
ece
doesn'
tneedthi
s”
Me:
“Imtryi
ngbel
ievemeyoubutl
i
fei
s
i
mpossi
blewit
houthim”
Lwazi
:“Hav
efai
thmyl
ove.
..l
ookIhav
etogoI
l
oveyou”
Me: “
Ilov ey outoo”Ihungup.Iar ri
v edatthe
hospi t
al andt ookabookt henst eppedoutof
thecar .Imademywayi nandheadedt ohis
room.Iki ssedhi sdrylipsandsatdown
“Sawbonast handwasami ”(Greetingsmyl ove)
“Im sor r
yI '
ml atetodayt heshoott ookl onger
thenIexpect edbutnowI '
m here.”Ipaged
throught hepagesoft hebookwher eIl astread
andst ar t
edr eadingforhi m.“Thatwi l
lbeall f
or
today .Cany ouwakeupt uIwentt othedoct or
todayourdaught erisfineandgr owi ng.Please
wakeupdoi tforherbaby ,forourchi ldr
ent hey
mi ssy ou”hi shandf l
inched“ Babycany ouhear
me.I fy oudomov eagai nplease”hef li
nched
hisfingeragai n.Iwentoutt ocallthe
doctor .
“Hemov edhisf i
ngertwice”
Doc:“
I'
m sor
ryMi
sshei
sst
il
lthesamei
t.
..
.”I
cuthi
m off
Me:“Thatali
e.I
nababyshowhi
myoumov
ed
yourfi
nger”Hedidn'
tmove
Doc:“MissIunder
stand..
.”Thebeeping
machinedist
urbedhim asInaconv
ulsed
vi
olent
ly
Me: “Whatishappeni ngdoctorwhyi
sthe
machi nebeepingr apidl
y”Hepushedmeout
andshutt hedoor .Justthenhispar
ent
sandhi s
sisterKuhl
ewal kedi n.Icoul
dn'
thel
pmy sel
fbut
threwmy selfi
nhi smom' sarmsshewrapped
herar msaroundmybody .
Mom:
“Whati
sgoi
ngonKonke”
Me:“Idon'
tknowMat
heyt
hrewmeout
”I
sobbed
Mom:
“OhGod”
Dad:
“Iwi
l
lgoandf
indout
”
Me:“
Theywon'
tal
l
owy
oui
nwehav
etowai
t
her
e”
Mom:
“Let
spr
aypl
ease”Wej
oinedhandsand
pray
ednoshepr
ayedandwesai
damenwhen
shefini
shed
“Godheardyourprayers”Weopenedoureyes
andlookedatthedoctor“ Hei
sawake”Idi
dn'
t
evenwaitanylongerIskippedi
nsi
de.
Me:“
Baby”Hel
ookedatmeemot
ionl
essl
y.Hi
s
par
entsandKuhl
ewalkedi
n
Mom:“Ohmyboywel
comeback”t
ear
sfal
l
downonherf
ace
I
na:
“Dontcr
yMamaI
m okay
”
Dad:
“Youscar
edusson”
Kuhl
e:“
Howwasmi
niheav
en”
I
na:
“Amazi
ngIal
mostdi
dn'
tcomeback”
Mom:
“Hay
iIna!
!”Wel
aughed
I
na:
“I
'm ki
ddi
ngMama.
”
Me:
“Wemi
ssy
ouI
na”
I
na:
“Tell
mewhatdidImi
ssfort
hewhole
month”myhear
tbr
okehewasn'
tev
enlooki
ng
atme.Hecar r
iedont al
ki
ngwi t
hhisfamil
y
makingitclearthathedoesn'twantmethere.I
fel
tli
keanout siderandwalkedout.Iwentto
thetoi
letandsatdownont heseatthencri
ed
mylungsout .
“Kotiopenup”Isai dnothingandholdmy
breath“Iknowy ouareint her
eopenuppl ease”
Istoodupandopenedt hedoor .Shepull
edme
i
ntoherar msandembr acedme“ Dontcr
yhe
willcomear oundjustgi
v ehimtime”
Me:
“Idon'
tthi
nksoMamadi
dyousawhowhe
l
ookatmehehat eme”
Mom: “Thatisnottr
uehel ovey ouhei sjust
angry.Everythi
ngwil
lbealrightokay.”Inodded
event houghIfoundithardtobelieve.TheIna
thatIsawt herewasnotmyI na.Theey esthat
uset ocarrysomuchl ove,desir
ewhent hey
l
ookatmet odayar
ef i
ll
edwi thhatr
edand
disgust.I
tshurtssomuch.
•
NARRATED
•
Lusandalookedatherselfi
nt hemi r
rorand
admiredherself
.Shelookedsosexyi nabl ack
l
acelingeri
ethathaveasl i
tinfronti
tfit
tedher
perf
ectlyexposi
ngherwel lbuil
tbody.
Shecoul dn'tf
athom outwhycan'tshefinda
manf orherselfwhensheislooki
ngt hi
s
beauti
ful.Shehavealltheasser
tsmenar e
l
ookingf ori
nawomanbuti tsami ssi
on
i
mpossi bleforhertofi
ndar i
ghtman.
Sheisnotgetti
nganyy oungersheneedaman
thatwil
llov
eherwithherimperfecti
ons.Who
willt
akecareofherneedsandmakeherf eel
special
.Sexual
l
yfrust
rateddoesn'tevenbegi
n
todescri
behowshef eel.
Adil
docannotwarm herbedatni ght
,itcannot
hol
dherandmakeherf eelsafe,
itcannot
massageherfeet
,itcannotbuyhergi f
t s,
take
heroutf
ordi
nner.Adi l
doitjustforsexual
pleasureandatthi
spoi
nti
tdoesn'
tevenf
ulf
il
l
thepleasuresheneedt
henat
uralone.
Nomanherageshowi nterestonhersoshe
deci
dedtolookfortheyoungoneswhoknows
maybeshewi l
lfi
ndone.Thewasabuzzatt he
door
.“I
m sureit
shim”shesai dtohersel
fwit
ha
l
eersmil
eandpul l
edar obe.
Sheshuffledt
othemai nexi
tandopenedthe
doorjustasshethoughti
twashim.Helooked
gorgeousinanavypantsandbabybluedott
ed
shi
rt
Lusanda:
“Mzwakhecomei n”Shemadeaspace
forhi
mt owalkin.Hedidt
henshecl
osedthe
doorandlookedathim
Mzwakhe:
“Gr
eet
ingsMama”
Lusanda:
“Youcancal
lmeLusanda”
Mzwakhe:“
Inmycul
tur
ethatt
otal
l
yrude.
..
”she
cutherof
f
Lusanda:
“Ii
nsi
st”shesai
dlooki
ngi
ntohi
sey
es
deep.“
Comethi
sside”Shel
edhimtot
he
l
ounge“Whatdoyouli
ketodri
nk”
Mzwakhe:
“Jui
cewil
lbeokayMam”Hesai
d
si
tt
ingdownonthecouch.
Lusanda:
“Lusanda”
Mzwakhe:
“Ohumhy
es”
Lusandachuckl
edandwentt ot hekit
chen
whereshepouredjuiceinaglassanddishedup
browniesonaplate.Sheputtheglassandthe
pl
ateont het
raythenshuffl
edtothelounge.
Lusanda:
“Ibakedthesebrowniesespecial
lyfor
you”Sheplacedthetrayontheglasstableand
serv
edMzwakhe
Mzwakhe:“
OhthankyouMa..
ImeanLusanda”
Hetookthepl
ateandthegl
ass
Lusanda:
“Howar eyou”shesatdowncloset
o
him maki
nghim uncomf or
tabl
eandshenoti
ced
“Rel
axIdon'tbi
teIj
ustwantt oknowyou
Mzwakhe”
Mzwakhe:“Mmmh..mhh..
mhht hesetaster
eal
good”hemoanedhiseyesclosedwhi l
e
Lusandatookagoodlookathim admiri
nghis
hotness.
Lusanda:
“Youl
ovet
hem”
Mzwakhe:
“Yeahtheyaresodel
i
cious.Iswear
youwerebornf
orbakingdamn”Lusanda
smil
ed
Lusanda:“
Thankyousomuch.Youknowt her
e's
alott
hatIcando”shebi
teherbot
tom l
ip
rubbi
ngMzwakhe'searl
obewit
hherthumband
i
ndexf i
nger.
Mzwakhe:“Uhm.
.whyam Iher
eMa.
.Imean
Lusanda”
Lusanda:“Youhav esomethingonyourcheek”
Shei nchedcloserandli
ckhischeek.Mzwakhe
froze.“Done”shegavehim aseductionsmil
e
thatmadehi sheartbeatfaster
.Whatisthi
s
womandoi ngtohim?
Mzwakhe:“It
hinkIshouldgetgoing”Hedidn't
l
iketheaff
ecti
ont hi
swomani sgi v
inghim coz
hedidn'
ttr
usthimself.Hecouldfeelhi
sbody
react
ingt
ohert ouch.Whowoul dn'
t?Asoldas
sheisbutsheishotaMama.
Lusanda:“ButIhaven'
tshowny ouwhyIcal led
you”Shest oodupandt ookt hepl ateandthe
glassthenplacedont heglasst able.Shepull
ed
offherrobeitsli
ddownandcr umpl edonthe
fl
oorexposingherl i
ngeri
e.Mzwakhe' ssmall
eyeswi denheswal l
owedspi t.“Doy ouli
kewhat
yousee”
Mzwakhe:
“Uhm hhhh”Wor
dsst
ucki
nhi
s
t
hroat
.
Shesatont
opofhi
m st
raddl
i
nghi
m.
Lusanda:“YouareahandsomeguyMzwakheI
don'tunderst
andwhyar eyourunningaf
ter
someonewhodoesn' twantyouandwhoi s
pregnantwithanotherman'schi
ldwheny ou
canhav eallt
his”Shetookhishandsandplaced
i
tonherboobst henplacetheotheroneonher
cooki
ejar.Mzwakhe'
shear tpoundedhard
agai
nsthischestsal
iv
av anishedi
nhi smouth.
It
shisfi
rstti
met obeseducedbyanol dsexy
womant hatmadehimf eelsomet ypaway .
Mzwakhe: “
Mam Lusanday o..”
Hewascutshot
byLusanda'smout hthatdevouredhisli
ps.He
resi
stedatfir
stbutshedidn'tgi
v eupsohe
gaveinandr epli
edwithasmuchashunger
kneadingherboobs.Thekissdeepenedt hei
r
breat
hingescalatedandtheirbodieswere
connecti
ngwi theachother.Kat'
sfacefl
ashed
befor
ehi seyeshepushedher“ Stopi
t!Thi
sis
wrong”hepant ed
Lusanda:
“Say
swho?YouwantmeIwanty
ou”
Mzwakhe: “
NoIdon'twantyouMom Lusanda.
Youareol dandyouareKat'
sauntyIcan'tdo
thi
s.Il
ov eKatwithal
lmyheartthisi
stotal
ly
wron..
.”Shepressedherl
ipski
ssinghim wit
h
i
ntensi
tywhi l
ehercoldhandwentunderhi s
pantsandgrabbedhi
smanhoodherel
easea
softmoan.Thebuzzatt
hedoordi
stur
bedthem.
Lusanda:“
Iwillgetridofthem don'tmove”she
winkedathim andgotupf rom hi
sl apst
hen
worear obe.Shewentt ot hedoorandopenedi t
.
“Whatarey oudoi nghere”shelookedather
bagsthenherr edey esandf aceshecouldtel
l
thatshewascr ying.
Makhosazana:
“Theyt
hrownmeout
”
Lusanda:
“So”
Makhosazana:
“Hai
boyouaresay
ingkl
o.Ihav
e
nowheretogo.Letmein”
Lusanda:
“Youcan'
tst
ayher
eitwi
l
lrai
se
suspensi
ons”
Makhosazana:“
Don'tf
uckwithmeLusandawe
ar
einthi
st oget
her!
”Shepushedthr
ough
al
mostmaki ngLusandafal
l
.
Lusanda:“
Whati
swr
ongwithyouMakhosazana
youcan'tbar
gei
nmyhouseuninv
ited!
”
Makhosazana:
“Dontwor
ryIwil
lfi
ndmywayin”
shewheeledherl
uggagetot
heloungeandsaw
Mzwakhe“ OhMzwakhe”
Mzwakhe:
“Uhm Gr
eetingsMa..
.Ishoul
dget
goi
ng”Hestoodupinstant
ly
Lusanda:
“Iwill
callyou”Mzwakhedi
dn'
teven
respondhemadehi swayout.Makhosazana
bursti
ntolaughter
Makhosazana:
“Youshaggi
ngmydaught
er'
s
babydaddynow”
Lusanda:
“GetoutofmyhouseMakhosazana”
Makhosazana:
“Youlikemaki
ngmybl oodboil
oneofthesedaysIwi l
lsi
ngl
i
keI '
m acrazy
woman.Ifyouthrowmeoutt henyougottafi
nd
meaplacet ost
ay !
”
Lusanda:“Whathappenedt
otheSi
thol
e
Residence?”
Makhosazana:
“I
'm hungrywhatdoyouhave”
shet
ookt hebr
owni esandsatdown“Takemy
bagstomyroom..
mmht
hesear
ereal
l
ygood”
shesai
dchewing.
Lusanda:
“Isai
dwhathappenedyouwere
supposetotakeov
erwhyarey ouher
enow!
”
Makhosazana:“
Youthi
nkZesuli
weisafoolshe
sawrightthr
oughme.It
sonlyamat t
eroft
ime
shefoundoutaboutNkosi
sthandi
l
e”shesi
pped
onthejuicet
hatwaslef
tbyMzwakhe.
Lusanda:
“Shewon'
tKati
Eli
minyamamadesur
e
thatshewontf
indout
.Youcan'tst
ayher
e
Makhosazanayouhavetogo”
Makhosazana:
“Imi
ghtaswel
lgoandt
ell
them
t
hetrut
h”
Lusanda:
“Ar
eyousi
ckMawakhel
omuzi
isgoi
ng
tokil
lus!
”
Makhosazana:
“Younotus.Idi
dn'
tknowabout
t
hisI
twasal ly
ourpl
an!”
Lusanda:
“Youhadachoi
cetorepor
tthi
sbut
youdidn'
tsoarewei
nthist
ogether
!”
Makhosazana:
“Iwasy
oungandnaï
vey
ou
manipul
atedme!”
Lusandapacedupanddownpoppi ngher
fingers.Shehadmanaget okeept hisforyears.
Itcan'tcomeoutnowcozt hatwi l
lbet heendof
hernott hatsher egr
etdoi
ngit.Shecandoi t
ov erandov er.Shewant edtoavengehersi st
er
Luy anda.Zesul iwetookever
ythi
ngf r
om her ,
shet ookherf iancéandkill
edherbabyt hen
goesunpuni shed?Hel l
no!Shehadt odo
somet hingsot hatshecanfeelthepai nsheput
hersi sterthrough.
24YEARSAGO11OCTOBER
“
Didyougothr
oughwithit
”Lusandaasked
Menziwhowasadoctorandhappenedtobe
t
heonewhodeliv
eredZesuli
we'
stwins.
Menzi
:
“Yes”
Lusanda:
“Howi
sshe”
Menzi
:
“Shei
sdev
ast
ated,
broken,
hur
tyou
namei talli
twassosad”Hef el
tbadf orwhat
theydidbuthe'ddoany thi
ngt
omakeher
gir
lf
riendhappy.Lusandahadthi
sthingthathe
couldn'tunder
standthatmadehi
ml oseallof
hissenses.
Lusanda:“Wel
ldonemybabyy oudeservea
rewardforthi
samazi ngjob”Shewr appedher
armsar oundhisneckandki ssedhi
m.Wi thin
seconds.Theywer ebreathi
ngheavilycatchi
ng
thei
rbreaths.
Menzi
:
“Ohfuckbaby
!”Hetookhi
shandker
chi
ef
andwi
pedLusandathenwi
pedhimsel
f.
MEANWHI
LE
Mawakhelomuzi andZesul i
wewer ecryi
ngthei
r
l
ungsoutnextt othet i
nybodyoft heirdaught
er
whowasl yi
ngl i
felessl
y.Theyfeltl
ikesomeone
ri
ppedofftheirheartsoutoftheirchest.Li
ke
theworl
disendi ng.Theycouldn'tfat
hom out
whatwentwr ong.Zesuliwedidn'thave
compli
cati
onswhenshewaspr egnant.Her
pr
egnancywassmoot
h.
Li
we:“Babypleasewakeupyoucan'tdot
hist
o
me”shecr adl
edherli
fel
essbodyofher
daughter
Wakhe:
“Babyshei
sgone”hewhi
sper
ed
Liwe:
“No!Sheisnot..
ri
ghtmybabyt ell
daddy
youarefi
ney ouarejustsl
eeping”sherocked
backandf or
th.Moretearsrandownon
Wakhe'sfacehisheartedcr
umbl ed.
Wakhe:
“Lethergomyl
ove”
Li
we:“Sshhy
ouar edi
stur
binghershei
s
sl
eepi
ng”shelookedatherdeaddaught
erand
smil
ed.
Wakhe: “
I'
m sor
rymyl oveI'
m sosorrybutsheis
deadshei snotcomingback”Zesuliweburst
i
ntoal oudsobWakhewr appedhisarms
aroundthem “I
m sorr
y ”WhileMakhosazana
wassmi li
ngcradl
ingherbabydaught er
.The
feel
ingwaspr i
cel
esst henurseshowedherhow
t
obr
eastf
eedandshedi
d.
“Sheissobeaut
if
ul”sai
dInnocent
Makhosazana'
sboyfri
endandthefat
herofher
daughter
.
I
nnocent
:“
Whatshoul
dwecal
lher
”
Makhosazana:
“Khethokuhl
e”Innocent'
smot her
wal
kedinandsmi ledbutthesmiledisappeared
t
hemomentshel ookedatthebaby.
I'
smother
:“Thi
sisnotyourdaught
erI
nnocent
”
shesai
ddisappoi
ntedl
y
I
nnocent
:“
Hai
boMat
his.
..
”
I
'
smot her
:“
Makhosazanewhoi
sthef
atherof
t
hisbaby?
”
Makhosazana:“
It
sInnoMama”Howcant his
womanaccuseherofsuch.Shemi ghthave
sl
eptwit
hbot hofherboyfri
endsbutshewas
sur
ethatthebabyisInno'
s.Umamauy amaz i
umtwanawakhe( Amot herknowsherchild)
I
'
smot
her
:“
LookatherI
nnocentandt
ell
medo
youseeanyresemblance?
”Innocentdi
dashe
wast ol
dandhedidn'
tseeanyresemblance.He
star
tedhavi
ngdoubt
Innocent:
“Macany ougiveusaspace”
Innocenttr
ustedhismothersomuch.Heknew
thatshewillnevermi
sleadhim andwhywoul
d
sheliewhenshewassokeent ohavea
grandchil
d.
I
'
smot
her
:“
Okay
”shewal
kedout
I
nnocent
:“
Whoi
sthef
atherMakhosazana!
”
Makhosazana:
“I
tsy
ouI
nnocent
!”
I
nnocent
:“
Don'
tl
iet
omemaan!
”
Makhosazana:
“Iswear
!”shecr
ied
i
nnocent:
“Thi
sbabydoesn'
tl
ookli
keme.Both
ofusareli
ghtbutshei
snotli
ght
.Howisthat
possi
blehuh?”
Makhosazana:
“Idon'
tknow”shecr
ied
I
nnocent
:“
Thef
atheroft
hisbabyi
sthatKheswa
boyi
sn'
t?
”
Makhosazana:
“I
m notdat
i.
..
”
Innocent:“St
oplyi
ngtomeIknowt hatyouar
e
cheati
ng.Taket hebabyt
oherfatherandl
eave
met hef uckal
oneI'
m donewit
hy ou!
”He
stompedoutl eavi
ngMakhosazanaintear
sand
confusion.
3DAYSLATER
Thingswer ehardf orherwithoutallthebaby
necessi
ties.Innocentwast heonewhowas
taki
ngcar eofhersi ncehermom madei tcl
ear
thatshewi l
lnotgeti nv
olveshedi dn'tsenther
toopenherl egs.OnsunnySat urdayshewasat
homebr eastfeedingherbabyandwhenher
Mamat oldhert hatshehav ev isi
tors.
Makhosazana:“Letthem i
n”LusandaandMenzi
walkedin.Theygreetedshegreetedback.They
satonthecouch.
Menzi
:
“Im sur
eyour
ememberme”
Makhosazana:
“Yesdoc”
Lusanda:“I
m Lusandahi
sgir
lfr
iend”Shewent
onandt oldherthatt
hebabyshehav ei
snot
hers.Hersisdeadandtheygavehertoanother
couple.Shecri
edharder
.
Makhosazana:
“Why?Howcouldyoudot
his
huh”shesobbedherhear
twassore.
Lusanda:
“I
m sor
ryt
hatyouhavet
obecaught
upinthi
sbutwepromisetot
akecar
eofyou
andababy ”
Makhosazana:
“NoIdon'twantthi
sbaby!Takeit
Iwanttoburymychil
d.WenadocIwi l
lhave
youarrest
edhowcouldy oupl
aywithpeopl
e's
l
ifel
ikethi
shuh?”shesobbed
Lusanda:
“ComeonMakhosazanathisbabyis
yoursokay.Icanseey
ouloveherl
i
key our
sshe
i
sy our
s.Everymonthwewill
sendyou10kr i
ght
babe”shelookedatMenzi
Menzi
:
“Yespl
usy
ourmom i
snotsuppor
ti
ng
you.10kisal
otofmoneyy ouwillbeabl
eto
takecar
eofthebabyandyourselfthi
nkabouti
t
okay”Theyl
efthernumber
stocont actt
hem
whenshehavemadeuphermi nd.
Hermom wasr eallygivi
ngherhardti
met othe
pointt
hatshewi l
lstarv
eherandsayshemust
goandgetf oodtot hefatheroft
hebaby.She
agreedtotheoffereverythi
ngwentwell
ev en
hermom washappywhensheboughtgr ocery
forher.Sheneverbotheredtoaskwheredid
shegett hemoney.
FOURYEARSLATER
Shekeptl
ookingatherphoneever
ynowand
thenhopi
ngthemessagewi l
lcomethr
oughbut
dolol
o.
Khet
hokuhl
e:“
Mommywhenar
ewegoi
ngy
ou
sai
dyouwil
lbuymeadol
l
”
Makhosazana:
“YesbabyIwi
ll
I'
m wai
tingfor
t
hemoneyt obedeposit
ed”Hermom walkedi
n
M'
Mom: “
HawIthoughtyouar
egoingt
odo
gr
ocer
ytodaywehaverunoutofi
t”
Makhosazana: “IknowMamaI '
m goi
ngt otown
now”Hour swentbynomoneywasdeposi tedi
n
heraccount.Shecal ledLusandaherphonesent
hertovoicemai lthenshecal ledMenzi same
appli
es.Day swentbyt heirphonenumber s
werenotexi st
ingany mor e.Shewasangr yand
fel
tusedbutshecoul dgivebackt he
Khethokuhlecozshel ovedherl i
keher s.She
neversawt hem unt i
lshewasr escuedby
Zesuli
we.ThedayshesawLusandaher
memor ycamebackl ikesomeonepr esseda
bott
on.
PRESENTDAY
Lusanda:“
Stopwhini
ngmaan.Wehavet
owor
k
ontheplan.Howtogety
oubackther
e”
Makhosazana:
“Mawakhel
omuzi
lov
ehi
swi
fehe
wi
llnev
erfallf
orme”
Lusanda:
“Youhav
ebeenwor
kingf
orawi
tch
doctorforyearsMakhosazanaI '
m sureyoucan
dosomet hing.Don'tyouwi sht
oownt hat
house?Dr i
vethosel uxuriouscarsandbe
Mawakhel omuzi'
swi fe”Makhosazanasmi led
asshei maginealloft hatonewayort heother
shewi l
lbeMr sSit
hol e.Shehopet hatshefall
pregnantthatwil
lbeeasyf orher
”
#GudluzaUnondi
ndwa!
”Theybot
hsai
dand
l
aughedoutloudl
y.
[
06/
02,
09:
22]W:
76
TWOWEEKSLATER
KUHLEKONKE
•
Ihavedoneevery
thi
ngt
oshowInahowsor r
yI
am Idon'
tknowwhatdoany
moremay beI
shoul
djustgiv
euponusbutmyheartdoesn'
t
wanttoletgo.
Il
ovethatguywithev
eryinchofmybodyIm
notcopi
ngalreadywi
thouthi
mt oi
magine
f
utur
ewithouthim ki
l
lmetothecor
e.Youknow
t
hesaddestparti
shewil
lalwaysbepar
tofmy
l
i
fe.
IknowImessedupbi gtime.Ibroket het
r usthe
hadforme,Igaveupwhatbel ongtohi m so
easi
lywi
thoutevenafight,
Ididn'
ttrusthim
enoughbutIwishhecangi vemeasecond
chancet
oshowhi m howsor ryIam, howInev er
meanttohurthim,howmuchdoIl ovehim and
howmuchdoIv al
ueourrelati
onship.
Iwokeupbreat
hingheav
il
yandsweat
ing.My
motheri
nlawwasseatedonmybedlookingat
me.
Me:
“Mawhatar
edoi
ngher
e?”
Mom:“
I'
m her
etotakecar
eoft
hedr
eamsy
ou
hav
ebeendreami
ng”
Thabi
ehavebeenhaunti
ngmeinmydr eamsI
don'
tknowwhynowImeanI t
sbeenamont h
andtwoweekssincet
heacci
denthappened.
Me:“
Howdi dyouknow”Shelookedatmewit
h
asmile.Thi
swomani sbeaut
if
ulyouguy
s.“
I
f
orgotyouareaprophet”
Mom:
“Why
?”
Me:“
Youarenotat
ypicalmthandazi
”she
l
ookedatmewitharaisedbrow
Mom:
“Ty
pical
mthanzi
?Enl
i
ght
enme”
Me:“
Youarecl
assyandeducatedy ousmell
l
ovel
yyoudon'
tsmel l
impephaandi zi
washo.
Youdon'
twearthosecreepycl
othestheywear
”
Mom:“I
not
herwor
dsy
ousay
ingpr
ophet
sar
e
unt
idy
?”
Me:“
NoMamaIdidn'
tmeanl
i
ket
hatI
'
m sor
ryI
f
Iof
fendedy
ou”
Mom:
“Getupnowwehav
etogowehav
e
alongdaytoday”It
ookmyphonef
rom t
he
bedsi
detableandcheckt
ime.
Me:
“I
ts4o'
cl
ocki
nthemor
ningMom”
Mom:“
Soory ouwantmetopul
lthesebl
anket
s
awayf
rom y
ou”Joothiswoman
Me:
“Her
eIwasthinki
ngyouareasweet
woman”shel
aughed.Ir
oll
edoutofbed
Mom:“Youdon'thavet
owearful
lcl
othesarobe
wi
lldo”Ipul
l
edar obeandworesl
eepers.We
madeourwayout .Si
hlewasi
ntheki
tchen
dr
inki
ngcoffee.
Me:
“Mor
ini
ng”
Sihl
e:“
Mor
ningpr
incess.
.Mom wher
ear
eyou
taki
ngher
?”
Mom:
“YouknowIcan'
tdi
scusst
hatwi
thy
ou.
”
Sihl
e:“
May oucan'tbargeinmyhouseearl
yin
themor ni
ngdist
urbingusinoursl
eepandtake
mydaught erwit
houttell
i
ngmewher eareyou
taki
ngher”
Mom:“Yout
hinkIwouldbehereifi
twasnota
matt
erofur
gency.Il
eftmyhusbandinbed
al
oneheisf
eeli
ngcoldwithoutme.Let
'
sgo
Kot
i”
Sihlehuf
fedaswewal kedout.Sheopenedt
he
doorformeIj umpedinthanshewenttoher
side.Shestar
tedtheengineanddrov
eout.
“Howar eyouholdingup”
Me:“Li
feismeaningl
esswit
houthi
m andthese
dreamsar est
ressi
ngme.someti
mesI '
dfeel
scaredfornoreasonandmyheartbeatf
ast”
Mom: “
Youwill
befine.Thabie'
sspir
iti
shangi
ng
al
loveryouandthatwil
lcausehar mtothe
babybutdon'
tworryIwil
lcleanseyouasformy
sonlethi
m goifheismeantf oryouhewil
l
comeback”
Me:
“Iheary
ou”
Mom: “
Wear ehere”Shepulledoffwegotoutof
thecar.Wewer ei
nt hi
ssecludedareaitwas
darksoIcouldn'
tseeexactly.I
twasv er
ycold
typi
calwint
erweather.Shewentt otheboot
andcamebackwi t
ha20l i
terofbucket.
“
Takeof
fyourr
obeandy
ourpant
ies”
Me:
“Ma”
Mom: “
Youheardme”Tj ongal
oyomzuzu
akubandimtakamah.Ididasshesaid“Kneel
down”IdidasIwastold.Sheopenedtheli
dof
thebucketandpi
ckeditup.
Me:“Idi
dmyhai ry
ester
dayMamaungangi
thel
i
ekhandatu”shechuckl
ed
Mom:“Iwon'
t”Shepourcoldwat
eront
opofmy
headpray
ingIgaspedforai
r.
“Wear efi
nishcome”Shehel pedmeupIwas
ki
ndadizzyforamoment .Shegavememyr obe
andsleeper
s.Igotdressedt henwegotinthe
caranddroveoff.Sheturnedontheaircone.
Allt
hewaywewer equietshebrokethesil
ent
wit
hlaughter“Comeondon' ttel
lmey ouare
madatme”
Me:“
Yousai
dngekeungi
thel
ekhandaMa”She
l
aughed
Mom:“I'
m sor
rybutIhadtophephisayezwa”
shepinchedmycheekIlookedtheothersi
de.
“Yousuchabigbaby”
Me:
“Youl
ovemel
i
ket
his”
Mom:“YeahandItwill
real
lybreakmyhear tif
youguysdoesn'
tgetbackt oget
her.Idon'twant
anot
herMakotiexceptyou.Iknowatf ir
stI
wasn'
twelcomingandallbutmysonl ovey ou
soIhadtogiveyouachancebel i
evemey ou
aret
hekindawomanIwantf ormyson”
Myhear
tmel
tedt
ear
str
ickl
edi
nmyey
es
Me: “
Ialsodon'
twantanymotherinlawexcept
youMama.Thanky ousomuchf orgivi
ngmea
chance”Iwipedmytears.Wearr
ivedatmy
Dad'spl
ace
Mom:
“I
'm sor
ryf
ordi
stur
bingy
oui
nyoursl
eep”
Me:“
It
sokayMama”Sheinchedcl
oserand
ki
ssedmyfor
eheadandbrushedmytummy
Mom:
“Il
ovey
ouguy
s”
Me:“
Weloveyout
oo”Ist
eppedoutoft
hecar
andwenti
nsi
de.
Si
hle:
“Atl
ongl
asty
ouar
eback”
Me:
“Rel
axy
ourmom wi
l
lnev
erhur
tme”
Sihl
e:“Iknowthatt
hethi
ngisI'
m wor
ri
edwhat
i
sgoi ngont hatmadeherwakeusupear
lyi
n
themor ning”
Me:“
Shecleansememybaby '
slif
ewasatri
sk
dueThabi
e'sspi
ri
tthatwashangi
ngal
lover
me”
Sihl
e:“
Ohokaythatbett
ert
hen.Youar
e
shiv
eringIwi
l
lmakey ouacupoftea”
Me:“Thankyou”Isatdownont hehi
ghchai ras
shemadet eaforme.Wet al
kedingeneraland
dranktea.Af
tert
hatwewentbackt osleep.I
waswokenupbyl it
tl
eratsjumpingontopof
thebed
“Heyni
namaan!”Theygi
ggl
edandj
umped
down
Sbonga:
“MommyGogosaywakeup”
Me:
“Wasitdif
fi
cul
ttosayt
hati
nst
eadof
j
umpingonthebed?”
Sbonga:
“NoMamaI
m sor
ry”
Me:“Haisukagetoutofher eallofyou!!”They
ranoutgiggl i
ng.Theseki dswillbethedeat hof
meI '
mt ell
ingy ouandt heleaderisSbonga
you'dswearhei stheyoungeroneoft hem al l
.I
draggedmy selfoutofbedandmadet hebed
thenwentt ot akeashower .Af
terhygiene
processIgotdr essedi
nanov ersi
zet-shir
tand
l
eggings.Iwashav i
ngal azyday.Ishuffl
edt o
thekit
chenandf oundSihleonaphone.
Si
hle:
“Yes.
..
okay
..t
hanky
ou”
Me:“
Ithoughty
ouar
egoi
ngt
oletmewakeup
l
ate”
Sihl
e:“
Im sorr
ybuty ouwi
ll
sleepearl
ytonight
.
Wehav ev i
sit
orstodaywehavetopreparefor
them.Thecat er
sareontheirway”
Me:“Cater
ing?Howmanyv
isi
tor
sarewegoi ng
tohaveIm sonoti
namoodofinter
tai
ning
people”
Si
hle:
“Mycol
l
eagues20ormor
e”
Me:
“Whati
stheoccasi
on?
”
Sihle:
“Youaskt oomuchquest i
onsKonke.Hel
p
mepr eparebreakfasttimeisnotonoursidewe
havet obereadybyt het i
met heygether
e”I
helpedherwithbr eakfastandsetthetable
whileyawning.Iwant edtosleepsobaday .
Mzwakhewal kedinandki ssedourcheeks
Mzwakhe:
“Mor
ningmom,
sis”
Us:
“Mor
ning”
Mzwakhe:
“I
'm hungr
ywhatar
ewehav
ing”
Sihl
e:“
Goandcallyourf
atherwi
tht
heki
ds”
Mzwakhedisappearedandcamebackwi
thDad
andtheki
ds.
Dad:
“Nkosazana”(
Pri
ncess)
Me:“Daddy”Hekissedmyf orehead.Wesat
downSbongasai dgracethenweat e.Af
ter
breakf
astwecleanedt hehouse.Thecat er
ing
arri
vedSihl
eshowedt hem everyt
hingtheywill
need.Isti
ll
don'
tgetwhati sthefussabout.
Si
hle:“
Goandf reshenupI m coming”Iwentto
fr
eshenupt henwentt omybedr oom.Thewas
abeaut i
fulbl
ueandwhi t
esishweshedressand
adoekwi thheelspreparedforme“ Youare
goingtowearthis”Ilaughed
Me:“
Haibotheyar
eyourcol
leaguesnotmi
ne
andIdon'
tgetwhydoIhavetowear
i
shweswe.”
Sihl
e:“
Weallgoi
ngtobeweari
ngli
kethi
sI'
m
sureyoudon'
twanttobeanoutsi
der
”
Me:“I
shweshwephowhatdoesitgott
odowi
th
constr
uti
onbusi
nesscol
l
eagues?”
Si
hle:
“AymaanKuhl
ekonkeweart
hisokay
!”
Me:
“YesMom”Ibowdownshehi
tmewi
tha
pi
l
low.Il
aughedasshewal
kedout
.
Thi
si ssi
ckl
i
keforr
ealany
wayIgotdr essed.
DzangbabyIl
ooksobeaut
iful
li
keat r
ue
Afr
icanwoman.I
tfi
tt
edmeper fect
lywit
hmy
bump.
Thewasknockont hedoor“Comein”Thedoor
swungopenLwaziandmyt wocousi
ns
ThembekaandSebenzi l
elooki
ngall
beaut
if
ul
i
nthei
rtradi
ti
onal
dr esses
“
Whatar
eyouguy
sdoi
ngher
e?”
Sebe:
“Hel
l
otoyoutoocuz.Awumuhl
emaan!
”
(y
ouarebeaut
if
ul”
Lwazi
:“
Twir
lforusbaby
”Il
ookedatt
hem
sur
pri
sed
Me:“
Canany
onet
ell
mewhatt
hef
ucki
sgoi
ng
on!
”
Thembeka:
“Geeedon'
teatus.Letmehelpyou
wit
hadoek”shemademesi tdownand
wrappedadoekonmyheadt henputal
i
ttl
ebi
t
ofmakeup“
Wewanty
ounat
ural
”
Me:
“We?Lwazi
whati
sgoi
ngon”Il
ookedather
Lwazi:
“Idon'
tknowbabyIwasj ustinvi
tedby
yourst
epmom y ouknowIwoul dn'tsaynoto
fr
eefood”Theylaughed.Aunt
yZol ekawalked
i
n
Aunt
yZ:“
Gir
lscanIhav
eamomentwi
thmy
ni
ece”
Thegir
lswal
kedoutandlef
tmewi
thAunt
ywho
al
solookedbeaut
if
ul.“
Baby
”
Me:
“Aunt
y”Ist
oodupandweshar
edahug
Aunt
yZ:
“Youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmychi
l
d”
Me:“
Youar
ebeauti
ful
tooAunt
y.Whyar
eyou
her
ewhati
sgoingon”
AuntyZ:“Justknowt hatI'
m proudofyouandI
knowy ourmom i salsopr oudofyou.Youhave
beenthroughal otmybabybuther eyouarest
il
l
standi
ngst rong.Il
ovey ousweetheart
”She
wipedmyt earswit
hhert humbs
Me:
“Thanky
oul
ovey
out
ooAunt
y”
Aunt
yZ:
“Come”shet
ookmyhand
Me:“Youhaven'
ttol
dmewhat..
.”shepressed
herfi
ngeronmyl i
ps.Thenwewalkedout
headingtothel
oungewemetmycousi nsand
Lwazi i
ntheent
rance.
AuntyZ:
“Youcangoi
ngir
ls.bowdowny
our
headswhenyougett
her
eokay ”
Wewal kedi
n.Myinlaws,dadandaunty'
s
husbandwereseat
edt her
e.Myheartski
ppeda
beatwhatar
etheydoinghere.Wesatdownon
thematandbowdownourheads
Dad:
“Thesear
eal
lmydaught
erswhi
chonear
e
yout
alki
ngabout
”
I
na'
sDad:
“Thebeaut
if
ulpr
egnantone”
Dad:“
KuhlekonketheSit
hol
esareher
etoask
yourhandinmar r
iagedoyouknowthem”
Me:
“YeboBaba”(
YesDaddy
)
Dad:
“Youcanallgo”Westoodupmyhear
twas
beat
ingf
ast.IwenttoSi
hlewhowasupand
downcoachingt
hecater
ing.
Me:“I
namandlapr
oceededwi
thl
obol
a
negoti
ati
ons?
”Shesmiled
Si
hle:
“Mybr
otherl
ovey
ouKonke”Icoul
dn'
thel
p
mysmi l
e
Me:
“Doest
hatmeanhef
orgi
veme?
”
Sihl
e:“No..
.Ofcour
sey es!”I
fIwasn'tpregnantI
wouldhav edoneav osho“ Gowasht hoset ears
andappl ynewmakeup.Yourhubbycan' tsee
youlikethi
s.Todayit'
sy ourlobol
anegot i
ations
andumembesodayst opcryingmaan”I twas
l
ikesheopent het
aps.Tear scoul
dn'tstop
fall
i
nghappywoul dbeanunder stat
ement .
“Whatar ey
ouguysdoingtomypr i
ncess,whyi
s
shecryi
ng”Thatwasdaddyhewal kedtome
andpulledmetohischest“Bakwenzani
sthandwasami”(
whatdidtheydot oyoumy
l
ov e)
Me:
“Not
hingDaddyI
'
mjusthappy
”
Dad: “
Youdeser
veall
thehappi
nessint
heworld
shh”hepull
edmebackandwi pedmytears
“Stopcry
ingnowyouwantInatoki
ll
us”I
giggl
ed“Daddyi
sproudofyouandheloveyou
vha”
Me:
“Il
oveyoutoodaddy
”Heki
ssedmynose
t
henIl
etlosef
rom hi
sembr
ace.“
Daddy
?”
Dad:
“Pr
incess”
Me:
“Youdi
dn'
tchar
get
hem 2m r
ight
?”
Dad:
“NoIchar
gedt
hem 5m”
Me:“
Dad!
”Helaughedandwal
kedaway
.“Nohe
i
sjoki
ngri
ght
”
Si
hle:
“Youknowhowy
ourdaddyi
s”
Sebe:
“Youaremarr
yingintoari
chf
ami
l
ymos
cuzdoeshubbyhavebrother
s”
Me:
“Unf
ortunat
elyhehav
eonebr
otherandhe
i
s19yearsold”
Thembeka: “Sor r
ysi sterst heboyi smi ne”We
l
aughed.Af terthepr ocedur eforumembeso
wasdone.Myi n-l
awscamet ofet chmesi nging
aweddi ngsong.Wewal kedwi thast ept ot he
stretchtent.Ther ewer emanypeopl et hatI
didn'tknowIl ookedupt herehewaswear ing
l
ikemebutamanat ti
re.Nextt ohi mt herewas
ourchi l
dren.Ourdaught erwaswear i
ngl i
keme
theboy sl i
kehi m.Myey est raveledbackt ohim
andourey esl ockedhel ookedsogor geousI
want edt orunandt hrewmy selfi nhisar msbut
thesi t
uationcoul dn'tall
owme.Hesmi leddamn
Imi ssedt hatsmi l
eIcoul dn'
thelpbutr etuned
thesmi le.Aft erwhatf el
tl i
keadecadeIf inall
y
gott omyhusband.Hepai dlobol asohei smy
husbandnow.Hepul ledmecl oset ohi m and
kissedmepassi onatelypeopl echeer ed.
I
na:
“Umuhl
emf
azi
wami
”(Youar
ebeaut
if
ulmy
wi
fe)
Me:“Ngi
zibongel
emnyeni
wami ”(
Thankyoumy
husband)Hehelpedmesitdownandpul
l
edme
t
ohischest
.Il
ookedupathim“ Baby”He
l
ookeddownatme“ I
m sor
r..
.”hecutmeoff
wi
thalongpeckonmylips
I
na:
“For
getaboutt
hatmyl
oveal
li
swel
lnow”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”Iwhi
sper
edt
ear
sfal
l
ingt
own
myface
I
na:“Loveyoutoo”Hewipedmyt ears.
Throughouttheumembesocer emonyIwas
pressedagai
nsthischesthedidntwantt ol
et
megoI texactl
ywhatIhavebeeny ear
ningf
or.
Whatawayt of or
giv
emeI 'm notluckyI'
m
bl
essed.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
IlookedatthisgorgeousguynexttomeI
couldn'
thelpbutsmi l
e“ThankGod”Iwhi
sper
ed
tomy sel
f.Het r
ustedmeenought obl
essme
withthi
sincredibl
eguy.
HeisnotperfectasmuchasI m notperf
ectbut
weloveeachot her.Wellheapologi
sedandhe
wassosincere.Ihatethisbadbloodbetween
hi
m andTboseI tsallmyf aul
tIknowbut
somehowt heyhav etolearntoputthi
sbehind
cozTboseisgoi ngtobei nPK'ssonli
fesince
heisdat
ingKuhl e.
YesKuhl
eiscar
ryi
ngaboy .I
sn'
tPKalucky
bast
ard?Si
ster
sarecari
nghisseedsaboyand
gi
rlmkm.Happydoesn'
tevenbegi
nhowIfeel.
Mybabyi sal
iveandwearetogethermytwin
brot
herisawake,myfami
lyishappynomor e
badvibesbet
weendaddyandMj .Idon'
tknow
aboutMakhosazanaandIdon'
tcarewelast
sawherthatday.
Thefolkssai
dshei sunt
rustwort
hyandwe
didn'
taskmore.Todayit
sKonke' sl
obola
negoti
ati
onsandumembeso.Wel lshedoesn'
t
know.Itwasmyi deatohideitf
rom her
.
Justi
magi
neaf
terweeksapol
ogi
singt
oyour
hubbyunt
ily
ourunoutofwordstosayt
hen
boom l
obol
anegoti
ati
onsandumembesothat
i
ssosweettome.Iroll
edoutofbedbutPK
pul
ledmecloset
ohim
PK:
“Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng”
Me:“Topeeandrunabat hforus”Wewerei
n
ourhousebytheway.Weusedownst ai
rsof
ten
si
nceheisonawheel chair
.
PK:
“Fewmoremi nutes”Hesnuggledclosert
o
meIlethi
m be.There'
ssomethingthatis
bot
heri
nghim butheisnottel
l
ingme.
Me:
“Baby
”
PK:
“Ki
tkat
”
Me:
“Tel
lmewhati
sbot
her
ingy
ou”
PK:
“Not
hingmyl
ovewhy
”
Me:
“Iknowy
ou”
PK:
“Imf
inesthandwasami”Heki
ssedmylipsI
hel
donhischeekandint
ensi
fi
edtheki
ss.He
pul
l
edback“
Uhm y
oucangopeebaby
”
Me:
“Babyar
eokay
?”
PK:
“Yesl
ove”
Me:“
Everyti
mewhenIkissyouandtouchyou
babyyoutenseup.Whati
sgoingondon'
tyou
wantmet okissandt
ouchyou?”
PK:
“Ofcour
senotbaby
”
Me:
“Whaty
oudon'
tfeel
meany
mor
e?”
PK:
“Wewi
l
lbel
atef
orumembeso”
Me:
“PKdoy
our
egr
etchoosi
ngme?
”
PK:“What?NobabyIwi
l
l nev
erregr
etchoosi
ng
you.Iwil
lchoosey
ouoverandoverever
ysingl
e
second”
Me:
“Thenwhati
sit
”
PK:“
AyKhethokuhlestopbei
nganui sance
maangee!”Ir ol
l
edoutofbedwi thaheav y
heartandpul
ledarobe.I'
m starti
ngt ohave
doubtaboutourrel
ati
onshi
pIf eell
ikeI'm
forci
ngmy sel
fint
ohim.Iwenttothebathr
oom
andranabat hforusthendonumberone.Aft
er
thatIwentbacktothebedroom andwheel
ed
hiswheelchai
rnexttothebed.
Me:
“Comel
etgety
ouundr
essed”
PK:
“Iknowhowt
oundr
essmy
sel
f!
”
Me:“Sui
tyourself
”Iwenttothethebathr
oom
j
ustasIwasaboutt ogetinthebathtubIheard
hi
m groaningIrantothebedroom.Hewasl y
ing
onthefl
oorwi nci
nginpain“Ohbabymaan!”I
tr
iedtohelphim uphepushedmehar dIfal
l
withmybut tonthefl
oorandcried
PK:“
OhmyGoodnessbabyI'
m sorry
”heshi
ft
ed
towardsmewi
thhi
sbuttandtouchedme
Me:
“Don'
ttouchme!
”
PK:“I
m sorr
yI'
mr eal
lysorr
ymylove”Hepulled
met ohisarmsIwr i
ggl
edmy sel
f“Ngi
yaxol
isa
sthandwasami I
'
mt akingall
myfrust
rat
ionto
you.”
Me:“I
fyoudon'
tlovemeanymorejustsayitPKI
won'tf
orcemyselft
oyou.Il
oveyouy esbutif
youdon'tl
ovemenomor eit
'sokay.I
twil
lhurt
butIwil
lbeokayoneday”
PK:“BabyIwillneverstoplov i
ngyou.Youar e
theoneIl ov
eandIwi l
lforeverlove.Youhave
beent aki
ngcar eofmev erywel lforthepast
twoweeks.I fitwassomeoneel set heywoul
d
haverunawaybutwenay ouar est i
llher
eand
l
ov i
ngmewi thallyourheart.I
tsshowsnj ehow
l
uckyIam t ohav ey oubutI '
m sorryKatIwil
l
neverbeamany oudeserv e”Ilookedathim
withmyt earyeyes
Me:
“Youar
ethemanIdeser
vePK”
PK:
“Nothati
snott
rue”Tear
srol
l
eddownon
hi
scheeks
Me: “
PKwher ei
sthiscomingfrom?”Hecri
ed
harder.Imovedcl
osertohim andcuppedhi
s
face“Talkt
omebabywhat ev
eriti
swewi l
lget
throughitj
ustt
ell
me”
PK:“
Thespinal cordinjur
ycausedadamagedto
mysexualit
y.Iwill
nev erbeabletomakelov
eto
youorgiveyoubabi es”OhmyGod“ IknowI
madey oupromi semet oneverl
eavemebutI'
d
underst
and..
.”Icuthi m off
Me:“
Im notgoi
ngany
wher
ePK.Il
ovey
ou
okay
..
.”Hecutmeoff
PK:
“Katdon'
tdot
hist
oyour
sel
fyoudeser
ve
bet
ter
.”
Me: “PKlookatme”Hel ookedatmewi t
h
gli
steni
ngey es“Wedohav ekidsbabyIdon'
t
careaboutany t
hingIl
oveyouI '
m goi
ngtobe
hereunti
l Idi
e”
PK:“
Kat.
..
”Ishuthi
m wi
thaki
sspour
ingmy
hear
tint
oit.
Me:“
Im hereforyouever
ystepoft
heway.Who
knowsthiscouldbetempor
aril
ymaybewhen
youstar
twalkingyouwil
lbeokay”
PK:
“Thechancesofmet
owal
kagai
nar
esl
i
m
baby
”
Me: “
Im sor rymyl ovebutIknowwewi l
lbe
alr
ight”Ipul l
edhimi nmyar mswecr i
ed
together .Af t
erourcr yi
ngsessi onwet ooka
bathtoget her.Afterhygienepr ocesswegot
dresstoourt radi
tionalclothes.Imadeus
breakfastweat ethenwel eft.Wemetmy
familyatSi hl
e'shouse.Ev eryonelooked
beautiful wewer einsamecl otheswithourmen
andchi ldren.GuesswhatMzwakhewas
wear i
ngexact lyli
kePK.
PK:
“Whatt
hef
ucki
sgoi
ngonnow!”
Me:
“Idon'
tknowbabySqalokuhl
edesi
gned
t
heseclot
hesforus”Thandocametous
Thando:
“Si
sandbr
o”shehuggedus
Me:
“Wher
e'sMrWhi
teguy
”
Thando:
“I
nsi
det
het
ent
”
Me:
“Wheri
smyson”
Thando:
“Hei
swi
thMama.Hei
snotf
eel
i
ngwel
l
t
oday
”Okayt
hatwasenought
ochangemy
mood
Me:
“Whati
swr
ong?
”
Thando: “
Heisj
ustdownnje..
comelet'
sgetin
thestretcht
ent
”IwheeledPK'swheel
chair
“Whati sgoi
ngonwi t
hyourbabydaddi
es
wearingsameclothesusunest
hembuna”she
whisperedinmyear
Me:“
Idon'tknowwhati sgoingon”Shelaughed.
Konkelookedamazingwi t
hmyt wi
nbrother
andthei
rchil
dren.Iwi
nkedatt hem t
henwentt o
Mamawhowascuddl ingLami “Hel
loMom”
Mom:
“Don'
twor
ryhewi
l
lbef
inei
t'
sjustf
ever
”
Me:“Ngi
thembawenamt handazi wami ”(It
rust
youmypr ophet)ShepokedmeIgi ggledand
wenttositnexttomybaby .Speecheswer e
sai
d,everyt
hingwelli
twasal ovel
yumembeso.
Therewasalsoanaf terpar tywhichwasgoi ng
tobeatVincent'
srest
aur ant.Weal l
wentt o
changeandheadedt ot her estaurant.Theparty
wasamazi
ngt
hewer
efewcel
ebr
it
iest
oo.
Iwentt
othedunnyandfel
tsomeonepul
l
ingme
wit
hmywaistthenki
ssedme.
Me:
“Mzwakhewhatt
hef
uck!
”
Mzwakhe:“
Ilov
eyouKatpl
easegi
vemea
chance”
Me: “Howmanyt i
mesdoIhav etotellyout
hat
youandIar enev
erget t
ingbacktogether”I
wentt odomybusi nessandwashedmyhands
thenwentback.PKl ookedatmemyhear t
skippedabeat.“
Ilovey ou”Imouthedheblew
meaki sst
henhewheel edhimsel
ft othefr
ont
andt ookamic.
PK:“
Goodeveni
ngever
yone”Wegr eet
edback
“I
m Phakamani
Mngomezuluforthosewho
don'
tknowme”Bit
cheswerescreaming
”whoooo”
Me:
“Ngi
bul
aleumunt
unj
alo”Weal
ll
aughed.
PK:
“I
m notamanofwor
ds.Babycome”He
saidl ookingatme.Iswaggar edt owardshi m.
“sthandwasami youandIhav ebeent hrougha
l
otandher ewear etodayst rongasev er.Iwant
tot el
l youinf r
ontoft hesepeopl ethatIlov e
yousomuch.Youar eev er
ythingIwanti na
woman.Youmakemesmi lewhenIhav eno
reason.Mywor ldisfullofsmi l
eswhenIt hink
abouty ou.Youmakemef alli
nl ovewithy ou
deeperev eryday.Iwantt ospendev er
ysi ngle
secondwi thy ou.JobekaMat shanawi l
lyou
makemet hehappiestmani nt hisuni
verseand
mar r
yme”Hef l
ippedaboxofar i
ngopen.
Ever
yonecheer
edandsomeweresay
ingI
mustsayy
es.Ismi
ledmytear
sfal
lonmyface
Me:
“YesIwi
l
lmar
ryy
ou”Iwhi
sper
ed
PK:“ShesaidYES”wealllaughedhesli
dt he
ri
ngi nmyfingerandpul
ledmet otohislap
thenkissedtheli
vi
ngshi
toutofme.Fut ure
Mr sMngomezul uuzwakanjanimtakamah
[
06/
02,
09:
22]W:
ThankYouSoMuchMy
Sweet
hear
ts
-
Boi
tumel
oMor
uri
-Ndl
ovu
-
Nozi
ngaToi
se
-
Nozi
phoNi
nel
a
-
Andi
l
eBoom Mbat
ha
-
JanetThat
oSmal
l
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
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_
_
___
__
77
MZWAKHE
•
Iwassoclosecenti
meterclosetowinherback,
forhert
ogivemeachancet obeinmyson's
l
ifewasaf i
rstst
epthenthi
sbastardhaveto
wakeupf r
om thedead.
Jesusno2argg!IknowIhavenor i
ghtt
ohate
thedudebutIcan'
thelpi
tbra.Ihat
ethefact
thatshei
shappywi t
hhim.Everyti
mewhenshe
speaksofhi
m shegl
owsIf
eel
li
kedy
ing.
Ican'
thel
pbuthatemy sel
fmoreforwhatIdi
d
toherIwishIcangetasecondchancet
omeet
heragai
nanddor i
ghtthi
stime.
Toseet hem togetherf
reel
ytouchygi
vesme
chestpains.Itsmysist
ersumembesoev ery
oneisher e.Isawherpushingl
snqekesakheI
feelmyselfgetti
nghot.
Ourey esmetIcant el
lthatshei snotplease
thatI'
m weari
ngex act
lylikeherboy f
ri
end.My
eyestravel
edtohim hei salsonotpleaseI
smiledtomy sel
f.I
tgivesmegr ati
fi
cati
ont hat
hefeelsthr
eatened.
Theumembesocer emonywentwel l
t henwe
changedandheadedtomydad'srestuarant
thatwher
etheaft
erpart
ywil
lbe.ImustsayI
haveneverbeent
oapartyl
i
kethis.
Iusetoseethi
sshiti
nTV.Fewcelebri
ti
es
perf
ormedI'
m notevenenj
oyi
ngcozeveryt
ime
Il
ookedatthem t
heyareki
ssi
ngifnott
ouchi
ng
eachot
heritsmakemyhear
tbr
eaksi
nto
mill
i
onpieces.
Me:
“CanIhaveagl
assplease”Isai
dtot
he
wai
tert
hatwasser
vingdri
nks.
waiter:“Whatwoul
dy oul
iketohavesir”Isai
d
nothingbuttookaglassonthetrayandgulped
thewhi skeyt
hentakeanotherone.Shelooked
atmeamused
Me:
“Keept
hem comi
ngokay
”
wai
ter
:“
Okay
”sheswayherl
i
ttl
eassaway
.
“
Areyouenj
oyi
ngtheparty
?”It
urnedand
l
ookedatMom Lusanda
Me:“
YesIdoMAMA”Ihadt oemphasizet
hat
par
tthi
swomanisstarti
ngtoi
rkmel i
keI
'
min
nomoodofenter
tai
ningherumfazi
wami
bay
ampotopot
oza
Lusanda:
“Theymakeagreatcoupl
edon'
tyou
thi
nk”shesaidl
ooki
ngatPKandKat
Me:
“Mxm!
”Iwal
kedawayandl
eftherst
andi
ng
ther
e.Ibumpintoawaiterandplacedt
heglass
thentookanot
her.Igul
pedital
ldown.Dad
camet ome
Dad:
“Youneedt
osl
owdownson”
Me:
“Ican'
tdadlookatt
hem i
tsl
i
ket
hebast
ard
i
smakingmej eal
ous!
”
Dad:“
Rightnowyouaregivi
nghimt
hat
sat
isfact
ionpul
lyour
sel
ftoget
herokay
”
Me: “Okay”Hegav emyshoul derapatandwent
tohi swife.Thewayt heyl
oveeachot herit
sthe
kindalov eIwantformeandKat .Ihavetowin
herback.Igot tabri
ngbackmywoman!Isaw
hergoi ngoutIgavesomegi rlaglasswhowas
nextt omeandf ol
l
owedher .Sheheadedt othe
l
adi esIpulledherwaistandkissedhersoft
tenderl i
ps.Shepushedmeandl ookedatme
angr y
Kat
:“
Mzwakhewhatt
hef
uck!
”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ouKatpl
easegi
vemeachance”
Kat:“Howmanyt imesdoIhav etotelly
out hat
youandIar enevergetti
ngbacktogether”I
staredatherbehindasshewal kawayl eav
ing
myhear tcrumbli
ng.IknowokayIf uckenknow
thatIhurtherbutal
lIwanti sachance.Iwent
tojointhepart
y.Mysi stercametomeand
pinchedmycheek
Konke:
“Ar
eyouokay
”
Me:
“Iwi
sh”
Konke:
“I
ssyneh”
Me:
“Ican'
tst
andherwi
thhi
m.Shei
smi
ne”
Konke:“
Lookbr oIdon'tmeant ohur
tyouor
somethingbutwhatIcant ell
youisknowwhen
i
t'
stimet ogi veupthesetwoar esoinlove.You
doreali
zet hatthisguyistheonethattookher
andgaveheruncondi t
ionall
ovewheny oubr oke
herheartthrewherout .Idon'
tseeherwal ki
ng
awayfrom t hatguyandcomi ngtoyou.I'
m
sorr
ybutIl ovey ouIhavetobehonestwi th
you”
Me:
“Exact
lyshedoesn'tl
ovet
hatguyl
ikeshe
l
ovehim.Sheli
kehim cozhewasther
eforher”
Konke:
“Okayifyousayso”Shesi
ghed.Her
fi
ancéwalkedtousandhuggedherfrom
behi
ndbeforeplant
ingapeckonherneck.
I
na:“
Iwaswonder
ingwher
edi
dyou
di
sappear
edt
oImi ssy
ou”
Konke:
“Justt
alki
ngwi
thmybr
otherl
ove”
I
na:“
Okaybabyl
etmenotdi
stur
byouknow
wheret
ofi
ndme”
“Goodeveningeveryone”Wel ookedupPKwas
atstagewithami conhi shand.Ifl
ookscankill
Iwouldhavedonet hatlongtimeagonx!“ Im
Phakamani Mngomezul uforthosewhodon' t
knowme”Thel adiesscreamed” whoooo”nx
awuzwei zi
febeIdon'tseewhatdot heyseein
thi
sguyokayt hataliethewayIhat ethedudeI
can'
tstandhim.
Kat
:“
Ngi
bul
aleumunt
unj
alo”Theyal
ll
aughed
PK: “I
m notamanofwor ds.Babycome”He
saidl ookingatKat .Shewal kedtowardshi m.
“sthandwasami youandIhav ebeenthrougha
l
otandher ewear et odayst rongasev er.Iwant
tot el
l youinf r
ontoft hesepeopl ethatIlov e
yousomuch.Youar eev erythi
ngIwanti na
woman.Youmakemesmi l
ewhenIhav eno
reason.Mywor ldisf ullofsmi leswhenIt hink
abouty ou.Youmakemef all i
nlovewithy ou
deeperev eryday.Iwantt ospendev er
ysi ngle
secondwi t
hy ou.JobekaMat shanawi l
lyou
makemet hehappi estmani nthisuni
verseand
mar r
yme”Hef l
ippedaboxofar i
ngopen.My
hear tst oppedbeat ingnot hiscan'tbe
happeni ng!
Ev
eryonecheeredandsomeweresayi
ngshe
mustsayyes.Don'
tsayyespl
easedon'
t!
Shewhi
sper
edwecoul
dn'
thearwhatshesai
d.
PK:“
Shesai
dYES”Everybodyl
aughedhesl
id
theri
ngi
nherf
ingerandpull
edhertotohi
slap
t
henki
ssedher
.
Mykneeswobbl edmyhear tbr
okei ntomil
l
ion
piecesItri
edtostoptearsfrom f
all
ingbutthey
streameddown.Icouldn'twatchthem Iran
outsidetomycarandl eanedagainstitunt
ilmy
butttouchedthecoldground.Iall
owedmy
tearstofal
leffor
tl
essl
y.IwishIcoul dgi
veher
myhear tsothatshewillknowhowsor r
yIam
andhowmuchdoIl oveher.If
eltarms
engulfi
ngmeIcoul dtell
whoi sshebyherscent.
Me:
“Cany
oul
eav
emeal
onewomangee!
”
Lusanda:“
Shedoesnotwort
hyourt
ear
slether
go.I'
m hereIwi
ll
takecar
eofyou.
..
”
Me:
“Isaidl
eav
emealone”Iwr
iggl
edmy
sel
f
f
rom herembr
ace.
“Youheardhim Lusanda”thatwasmydad' s
voice.Mom Lusandaclearedhert
hroatand
disappear
ed.“son”hesquatt
edinfr
ontofme.
“I
fLusandai snotKat'
sauntsI'
dsaygof ori
t
j
ustf ort
onightandwakeupnextmor ningwith
apl
anhowt
owi
nbacky
ourwoman”
Me:“Hegothernowshewi
l
lnev
ert
akeme
back”
Dad: “
Sheisengagednotmar ri
edevenifsheis
mar ri
edany t
hingispossible.Youneedt oup
yourgameandst opfeeli
ngsor r
yforyourself
.
Youcanst i
l
lwi nherbacki fyouputyourmi nd
toit.TheZwane' sarenotlosersmaandon' t
disappointmeokay ”Inoddedhepul l
edmet o
hisarmsandembr acedme.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
I
tsaboutt
imeImarkmyterr
it
oryIal
waysknew
t
hatIwil
lmar
ryheronedaybutImustsay
Mzwakhegavemeapush.
Theniggai
sallov
ermywomani tmakeme
angr
y.Hehadhischanceandbl
ewithemust
j
ustl
etmel ov
emyKi t
Katthewayshedeser
ve
tobelov
ed.Meeti
ngKatwasneverami
stake
despi
teofhowthi
ngst
ranspi
red.
Godhadapl anaboutusandt odayit
sproofof
that
.Wewerepairedbyangel
si nheaven.Idon'
t
regr
etmeet
inghermatteroffactit
soneoft he
bestthi
ngt
hathaveeverhappenedt ome.
Whenshet oldmeaboutSqal okuhlebei
ng
toget
herwithTboseIwon' tli
etoyouIwas
j
ealous.Iwasjeal
oust hatKuhlef
inal
lyf
ound
someonewhowi l
llov
ehert hewayshe
deservedtobelovedcozIf ai
ledt
ogivehert
hat
l
ov e.
Thef actthatTboseisthatpersonwhowi l
lgi
ve
herthatlovemadet hesituati
onworse.Iwas
bei
ngunf aircozasmuchasIl oveherIwil
l
neverbeabl etoloveherli
keIloveKat.Kat
i
s..
OhmyKi t
KatIcouldwr i
teabookabouther.
Thedayshewalkedinmylif
eshemadeit
ext
raor
dinar
ybeauti
ful
itl
i
keIwasbeing
i
ntr
oducedtothetr
uemeanoflove.
Shehav eawaywithmet hatwor
dsfai
l t
o
descri
be.Shest
olemyhear twi
thher
personal
it
ysheconnectwithmement al
ly,
spi
rit
uall
yandsoulf
ull
y.
Sheknowshowt odeal wi
thmesheisan
under
coverangelwhotakecareofmeandl
ove
meunconditi
onal
ly.Il
ovehersomuchmovi
ng
mountai
nsforherseem tomenothi
ng.
Im bl
essedtohaveherasmywomanandt he
motherofmykids.I
'
m sof ucki
ngdeeply
,crazi
ly
andmadlyinlov
ewithher.Iwantt
ogr owold
wit
hherandspendtherestofmyl i
fewithher.
Ibr
oketheki
ssandlookedatherey
esthat
weref
il
ledwi
thpur
ejoyandthatmulti
plemy
j
oyinmyheart.
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Kat
:“
Ilov
ey oumore”Iwi
pedhert
ear
st henshe
st
oodupandwheel edmeawayfr
om thefront
.
Herfami
lycametous
MrS:
“Congr
atsKi
ds”
I
ssy :
“Wearenotkidsdad”Wel aughed.MrsS
wasathomet aki
ngcareofmyson.Hehav e
feverandIfeelbadespeci
all
ythattomorr
owi t
s
hisbir
thdaymypoorbaby .
Kuhl
e:“
Congr
atsmt
ase”ShehuggedKat
Kat
:“
Thanky
ousi
s”
Si
hle:
“Letmesee”shet
ookKat'
shandand
l
ookedatherri
ng“Damnbaby!Congr
ats”
Kat
:“
Thanky
oumt
akamah”Theyhugged
Thando:
“Peopl
eareget
ti
ngmar
ri
edlef
tri
ght
andcent
eritmustbeni
cemosemendweni”
Mj
:
“Yeahi
fyouar
enotwi
thawhi
teboy
”
Kat
:“
Youar
ebei
ngr
aci
stnowMj
”
Sihl
e:“
Andheisnotmar
ri
edwhatdoesheknow
aboutmarr
iage”
Kat:
“Dontwor
rywenamybabyLoganwil
lmarry
youoneday.Youar
esti
l
lyoungenj
oyyourl
ove”
Mj
:
“Mxm!
”Hewal
kedaway
Thando:
“Whatwi
thhi
m?”
Kat
:“
Dontmi
ndhi
m”
Tbose:“
Youdi darightthi
ngman.Thatwhata
mando”Hepul l
edouthi shandforahand
shakeIlookedathishandandsai dnothi
ng.I
'
m
sti
l
langryathimf orfucki
ngmyKi tKathe
shoul
dhav eknownbet ter.Ev
ery
one
congrat
ulatedusandhuggedus.
I
na:“Ihopeyouwontscrewupagaincozthi
s
t
imey ouwi l
lhav
emet odealwit
hme.
Ngizokunqumauqhoqhoqho”(Iwil
lcuty
our
t
hroat)
Kat
:“
GeeTwi
nni
egi
vemybabyabr
eakokay
”
I
na:“Iwasj
ustmaki
ngsur
eheknowswhatwi
l
l
happen”
Me:
“Dontworr
ySbal
iIwon'
tmessup”Af
tert
hat
weret
iredt
oourr
ooms.Itwasal
ongdayandI
wasti
red.
Kat:
“Thatwentamazi
ng”Ipul
ledhert
omyl ap
andbrushedhertummy“Youknowwheny ou
sai
dy ouwil
lwif
emeIdidn'tt
hinki
twil
lbethi
s
soon”
Me:“WhywaitwhenI '
m cert
ainthateveninthe
nextl
if
eitwil
lbey oualonethatIlov
eandwant
tospendtherestofmyl i
fewith”shegrinned
Kat:
“Mr
sMngomezuluhuh”shel
ookedather
ri
ngwit
hgl
eef
ulnesscover
edonherface
Me:
“Yeahbaby
”
Kat:
“I
tsbeauti
ful
babyIl
ovei
tIcan'
twai
tfor
ourwedding”
Me:
“Whendoy
ouwantust
ogetmar
ri
ed”
Kat
:“
December
”
Me:
“Haababyt
hati
ssof
ar”
Kat
:“
Summerweddingi
sbeaut
iful
babyandI
wanttogetmar
ri
edwhenIhav
edeliv
ered”
Me:
“Youwi
l
ldel
i
veri
nSept
emberl
ovewecan
getmar
ri
edon11Oct
ober
”
Kat
:“
Onmybi
rt
hday
?"
Me:
“Yeahmyl
ove”
Kat
:“
MmhIt
hinkl
ovet
hathubby
”
Me:“
Iknewy
ouwoul
d”Ini
bbl
edonherar
m she
gi
ggled
Kat
:“
Letmer
unabat
hforus”
Me:“
Okay”Shest
oodupandwentt
othe
bat
hroom t
hencameback.
Kat
:“
Ifeel
badt
omor
rowi
tsLami
'
sbi
rt
hdayand
hei
ssick”
Me:“
Met ooandwealr
eadyor
gani
zed
ev
erythi
ngwecan'
tcancel
now”
Shehel pedmeundr essedthensheundr essed
hersel
f.Ilookedatherassheundr essedsheis
soperfect.Herbut t
,herhipsherfl
awl ess
chocolateskin,
herbr eastandhertummyIcan' t
hel
pbutenv ymy sel
ft ohavethesebutt hesad
partisIcan'
tembraceall
ofthis.AsI'
ml ooki
ng
atherI'
m notevengett
inghardandki l
l
smy
soul.If
eelhal
famant hatIcan'tsat
isf
ymy
woman.
Kat:
“Babe”Ifel
therhandswipingmyt earsthat
Idi
dn'tevenknowhav eescaped“I
tgoingt obe
okayyouwi l
lbefi
neIknowy ouwillssshh”She
pull
edmet oherbreast.
Me:“
Iwantt
ostayi
nyourar
msl
etski
pbat
hI'
m
t
ir
edIwantt
oli
edown”
Kat:
“Okay ”Shewentt othebat hr
oom andcame
back.Shepul l
edthebl anketsandhel
pedme
getinthenshesl i
ppednex ttome.Ilaymyhead
onherbr eastshewr appedherar msaroundmy
body.“Youwi l
lhealyezwa”Inodded.herar ms
aremysol acewithinamer esecondIfal
lasleep.
•
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
Youknowwheny oulov
esomeonesomuch
thatl
eadingali
fewit
houtthem i
tsnotev
en
i
magi nabl
e.Whentheyarenotbyyoursi
deyour
worldfeelsocol
dandempt y.
Lifeseem someani nglessandgl oomyy ou
can'thelpbutfor
givethem forwhat ev
ert hey
didtoy ou.Weareallnotper f
ectandt hese
thi
ngscal l
edloveandlifecanbecompl icated
toapoi ntthatwemakedeci sionsthatwet hi
nk
arerightonlytof
indoutt heyarethewor st
decisionsonecouldtake.Itwouldhav ebeen
bett
eri fl
oveandlif
ehadmanual .
IwasangryandhurtatKonkebutIhadto
for
giv
eher.Youknowwhatmademef orgi
ve
heri
sthatshedi
dn'tcheat
edonmewi ll
i
ngly.
Shewasbl ackmail
edandshedidwhatshe
thoughti
sf orthebest
.14dayswi thouther
werehellIcouldn'
tcopeatal
l.Spending
anotherdayswi t
houtherwouldl
iteral
lyki
ll
ed
me.
Iloveherfrom t hedepthofmysoul ,sheismy
paradiseonear t
h,sheismyonl ysoulmat e.
Shecapt uredmyhear tandsoul.Ican'
tlove
anyonebuther .Somyt winsist
ersuggest ed
thatIsurprisedherwi t
humembesoandl obola
negotiati
ons.Whenmyey eslai
donhershe
l
ookedsobeaut if
ulmyAf ri
canMakot iIf
alli
n
l
ov ewi t
hheral loveragain.Thr
oughoutt he
ceremonyIhel dheragai nstmychestIdi dn'
t
wanttol ethergo.
Konke:“Im soti
redi
twasalongdayt oday
”We
wer einourroom.Ihel
pedherundressedand
kissedherneckshetil
tedherheadgivi
ngmea
room tonippedherneck.“
Ohh”hermoanwas
enought omakemeer ectbutmywounds
hav en'
thealed
Me:“
FuckthesewoundsIwannabur
ymy
sel
f
i
ntoyouri
ghtnow”
Konke:
“Pati
entmyl
oveIwanty
ouheal
ed”she
tur
nedaroundandl
ookedatme“Myl
ovethank
yousomuchf ormaki
ngmeawomanamong
women.Thanky ouf
orgi
vi
ngusachanceI
promi
seIwon'tmessupthi
sti
meyoumeanthe
worl
dtomeI na.”
Me:“Dontcr yyouareupsett
ingmydaught er”I
wipedhert earsandkissedherey es“Lovemy
l
ov eforyoui sst
rongandunshakabl eIwill
alwaysbeher ef
oryounomat t
erwhatsor el
ax
youar estuckwiththi
shunki nfrontofyou”
Konke:
“Hunky
ousay
”shegi
ggl
ed
Me:“
Ofcour
senowondery
ouar
egoi
ngcr
azy
ov
erme”
Konke:
“OhMrI
'
mjustpr
etendi
ng”
Me:“
Youwi shj
ustyester
dayyouwerecryi
ngI
l
ovey oubabyImissyourdi
ckpleasebaby.
..
”I
mimickedhervoi
ceshecutmeof fbyhit
ti
ng
meIlaughed
Konke:“
Idon'
ttal
kli
ket
hatandIdi
dn'
tsayI
missyourdi
ck”
Me:“
Soyoudon'
tmissmydick”sheshookher
headbi
ti
ngherl
i
p“Youwil
lnevergetany”
Konke:
“I
m ki
ddi
ngbaby
”
Me:
“Ha.
a”Isul
ked
Konke:
“Yousocut
e”sheni
bbl
edonmyear
lobe
andwentdownonmedamnIwasscreami
ng
l
ikeawoman.
•
NARRATED
•
Thef ami
lywasgat her
edatSithol
eResi
dence
forLami'
sbirt
hday.Thepartywentwell
even
thoughthebir
thdayboyissickbutki
dsenjoy
ed
themselvesandplayedal
lthegamesthatwere
hir
ed.
Issy
:“Mom ar
eyousur
eit
sfev
er”shesai
d
l
ookingathersonwhowassl
eepi
nginher
arms.
Li
we: “
Yeahbabygoandl ayhim down”I
ssy
stoodupandwentt olayhersoninherr
oom.
Shekissedhisli
ps.Shewassowor ri
edthather
sonissick.shewalkeddownstai
rsandmet
Mzwakhei nthelounge
I
ssy:“Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eev
ery
onei
s
out
side?
”
Mzwakhe:
“Tocheckonmyson”
I
ssy
:“Heissleepi
ngMzwakhe”Hewal
ked
t
owardsherandpull
edherbywai
st
Mzwakhe:
“KatI
'
m sorr
yforev
ery
thi
ngIdi
d
don'
tgi
veuponus..
.”
Issy:
“Mzwak.
..
”Heshutherupbyki
ssshe
slappedhi
mjustt
henPKwheeledhimsel
fin
I
ssy
:“Babyheki
ssedmenotot
herwayar
ound”
PK:“
Whatthefuckiswrongwit
hyouhuh!St
ay
thefuckawayfr
om mywoman!Youhady our
chanceandblewitj
ustleav
eusal
one!
”
Mzwakhelaughed
Mzwakhe:
“RelaxbraI'
mtr
yingtohelpImean
weal
lknowt hati
ndukuayi
sebenzi”PK'sanger
gr
ew“Oham Il yi
ng?”Hewalkedoutlaughi
ng.
I
ssy
:“Dontmi
ndhi
m..
.”
PK:
“Yout
oldhi
m?”hecl
enchedhi
sjaw
I
ssy
:“What
?Nobabywhywoul
dIt
ell
him”
PK:
“Thenhowdi
dheknowhuhIonl
ytol
dyou
dammit!
!!
”
I
ssy
:“Idon'
tknowPKI
swear
”
PK:“Areyouhappynowheismakingfunofme
thatI.
.I
”Tear
sroll
eddownhischeeks.I
ssy
walkedtohim“Getawayf
rom me!”
I
ssy:“
Babydon'
tal
lowhimtogett
oyou”she
bentabitt
owipedhi
stear
s
PK:
“Isai
dgetawayf
rom me!
!”Hesl
appedher
onhercheek.
[
06/
02,
09:
33]W:
★ Boi
tumel
oMor
uri
-Ndl
ovu★
★ Nozi
ngaToi
se★
★ Nozi
phoNi
nel
a★
★ Andi
l
eBoom Mbat
ha★
★ JanetThat
oSmal
l
★
★ Mbal
enhl
eAmanda★
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
_
_
___
_
78
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwantsobadnott obeli
evethathejustslapped
mebutt hebur
ningsensationonmyl eftcheek
i
tsaconf i
rmat
ionthathelaidhi
shandonme.I
wasstunnedtospeakIblinkedsuperfl
uously
tear
sdropsrol
ldownmycheeks.Hel ookedat
mewi t
hshockandwi deopenmout h.
PK:
“Baby
”hewhi
sper
ed
Iwalkedawayfr
om hi
m hegraspedmyar
m and
pul
ledmet ohi
slap“I
m sososorryohmy
goodnessIdidntmeantolaymyhandony ou.
Whatisgoingonwi t
hmeI '
m sorryl
ove”he
ki
ssedmybur ningcheekcount
lessti
mes
Me:
“Howdar
eyour
aisey
ourhandonmehuh?
”
PK:“I
m sor rybabyIl osti
tIdon' tknowwhati s
goingonwi thmepl easef orgiveme.I '
mr eall
y
sorryIpr omisethisisthef i
rstandl ast.Oh
Jesus”Tear sst r
eameddownhi sface.Ilooked
athim andsawabr okenman.Hi sconditionis
taki
ngahuget ol
l onhim Iwi shthere'
s
somet hingIcandot ohelphi m cozr i
ghtnowhe
i
sst ar
tingt oturnintosomeoneIdon' tknow.
PKi snotanaggr essiveperson.
Me:“PKlookIknowy ouaregoingthrougha
dif
ficul
tti
mebuty ouneedtopullyourself
together
.Don'
tletMzwakhet ogettoy ou.Hei
s
j
ustast upi
dbastardthatwanttocome
betweenus.”
PK:
“I
m sor
ryKat
”
Me:
“St
opsay
ingsor
ryandt
ell
met
haty
ouwon'
t
al
l
owMzwakhet
opl
aywi
thy
ourf
eel
i
ngs”
PK:“IthardKatwhenIsawhi m kissi
ngy ouand
hejustmadet hi
ngswor sebyremi ndingme
howf ail
ureofamanIam f ornotbei ngableto
takecar eofy ourneeds.Ifeell
essofaman,
uselessandhopel ess.Ican'
thelpmy sel
f”More
tearsr andownhi sfacemyhear tbrokeinto
teensypi eces.
Me:“PKlookatme”Hel ookedatmewi t
hglassy
eyes“Yourconditiondoesn'
tmeany ouar el
ess
ofamanoraf ailureofaman.Youar eaman
morethani nonewaymyl ove.Mzwakhei snot
evencentimeterquarteroft
hemany ouare.He
i
sausel essexcuseofamannoofaboywho
chosemoneyov erwhathehol ddearinhis
heart
.Hedoesn' tworthyoubeingoffendedof
whathesay .Thatwhathewantv el
edontgive
hi
m satisf
acti
onpl ease.”
PK:
“Iwi
l
ltr
y”
Me:
“Dontt
rydoi
t”
PK:“
Asl ongasy ouwon' tl
eavemeIcan' t
surv
iveadaywi t
houty ouKat.IknowI'
m being
sel
fi
sht hi
ssituati
oni stoomuchf oroneto
handlebutpleasedon' tl
eaveme.Youar ethe
mostmagi calthi
ngt hathaseverhappenedt o
me.Wi t
houty out here'
snolif
e”
Me:“Iwon'tleaveyoubabyIpr omisemyl oveno
matterwhathappensIwi l
lalwaysbest anding
nexttoyouandhol dingyourhandasf ir
ml yasI
can.Iwil
lnev ergi
veupony oubabyIl oveno
oneelsebuty ou.I'
m hereI'
m notgoingon
whereokay ”Henoddedhel dmyf acethen
ki
ssedme, pouri
nghisheartont hekiss,
connecti
ngwi thmyhear tandsoul causingmy
bodytotinglewithexcit
ement .Wepul l
edoutI
openedmyey esslowlyandl ookedathim
PK:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Me:“Il
oveyoumore”Heki
ssedmyfor ehead.I
gotupfrom hi
m“Iwil
lmeetyouout
sideImma
gocheckonLami”
PK:“
Okay ”Iwalkedawayhecall
edoutmyname
Iswivel
l
edar oundandlookathi
m“ I
m sor
ry”
Me:
“Asl
ongasy
oupr
omi
set
hatI
tsf
ir
stand
l
ast
”
PK:
“Icr
ossmyhear
tIhopet
odi
e”
Me:“GoI '
m comi ng”Iwal kedupstai
rsandwent
tochanget hepant yli
nert hencheckonmyson.
Hewassl eepingpeacef ulandwetwi th
perspir
ati
on.It ookthewi peandwi pedhi sface.
“Fanozwamamabaki t
hi”Ikissedhi
sf orehead.
Nothingkill
smet henseei ngmybabysi ck.I
wishIcanbet heonet obesi cki
nsteadofhi m.
Whatawayofcel ebrati
nghi s3rdbirt
hday .I
wentdownst air
sPKwasst i
llwai
ti
ngf orme
Me:
“HawuIt
houghty
ouwentt
ojoi
nthemal
es”
PK:“Iwaswai ti
ngforyou”Iwheeledhim
outsidetojointhefamil
y.Thekidswereplay
ing
atthegar denwhilewewer ebythepoolhavi
ng
dri
nksandt al
ki
ng.Themal earedrunkIcoul
d
tel
lbyt henoisethatwasgetti
nglouderfr
om
t
hem.
Me:
“St
il
lnotdr
inki
ngr
ight
”
PK:
“CanIhav
eat
leastt
wogl
assesbaby
”
Me:“
Youcan'
ttakeyourmedswheny
ouhav
e
al
cohol
inyoursyst
em babe”
PK:
“Pl
easeIneedj
ustt
wogl
ass”
Me:
“KodwaPK.
..
”
PK:
“Pl
ease”
Me:“No”HepoutedIki
ssedhisli
psthenwentto
j
ointhemalewhileIwentt
ojointhegir
lsand
satdownnexttoThando
Thando:
“OMGwhathappenedtoyourcheek”I
si
ppedonmyjui
ce.Thegir
lslookatme
Me:
“It
hinki
tsal
l
ergy
”
Thando:
“Youdon'
thaveanyal
l
ergi
est
hatI
knowof”Theyall
lookedatme
Me:
“Hai
bost
opst
ari
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
”
Kuhl
e:“
Letmesee”
Me:“
Hayi
”Kuhl
ebei
ngKuhl
eshet
wist
edmy
headasi
de
Konke:
“I
mpamaphel
alenomakungat
hiwani
”
Me:
“Guy
sj eezwhyar
eyoumakingabi
gdeal
of
ar
edmar kinmyfaceaymaan!
”
Si
hle:
“Whosl
appedy
ouI
ssy
?”
Me:“Aghost”Isai
dlaughingtheyl
ookedatme
l
ikeI'
m crazy“Canwejustenjoypleaseand
stopstar
ingmel i
kethatIwil
lchoke”
Sihl
e:“
IhopePKisnotr
esponsi
blef
ort
hatmar
k
cozIswearIwil
lki
ll
him mysel
f”
Me:
“Cany
oust
artbyki
l
li
ngy
ourst
epson”
Si
hle:
“Hei
stheonet
hatdi
dthi
stoy
ou”I
nodded
shest
oodupi
mmedi
atel
y.Igr
abbedherar
m
Me:
“Noti
ntent
ional
l
ysistheywerefi
ghti
ngwi
th
PKsoIcameinbetween”Shelookedatme
t
hensatdown.
Konke:
“Whycan'
tMzwakheacceptt
haty
ouar
e
overhi
m”
Me:
“Heannoythehel
loutofmebusymaki
ng
f
unofPKsincehecan'
twalk”
Thando:
“Thati
schi
ldi
sh.Idon'
tl
ikehi
m heput
si
sKatthroughhel
lhemustgotohellf
oral
lI
car
e”
Buhl
e:“
Heseem sosi
ncer
ethough”
Konke:
“Hemi
ghtbesi
ncer
ebutheneedt
o
accept
”
Buhl
e:“
Im nott
alki
ngt
oyoubi
tch!
”
Si
hle:
“Hay
iBuhl
ebenkosi
!”
Buhle:“
WhatIwon'tpretendtoli
keherIdon'
t
careifshei
sy ourhusband'sdaught
erI'
m not
theonewhoi sridi
ngVin'sdick”
Konke:
“Buhl
eIm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tknowThul
a..
”
Buhl
e:“
Youknewwhor
e!Youdest
roy
edmy
mar
ri
agebuther
eareyouhappyandmar
ryi
ng
myuncl
e'
ssonthatmakemesick!
”
Si
hle:
“Youneedt
ocal
m downBuhl
epl
ease”
Buhle:
“NxIwill
gocheckontheki
ds”shestood
upanddisappearedt
othegar
den.Konkehad
tear
sinhereyes
Si
hle:
“Dontmi
ndherokay
”
Konkenoddedandwipedhert earsIl
ookedat
mytwinbrot
herwhowasl ookingatus.Theway
heissoprot
ect
iveofKonkey ou'dswearshei
s
anegg.i
t'
ssosweet.
Me:
“YhoI
nai
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lus”
KonkelookedupatInaandblewhi
m akiss.He
smil
edsweet l
ythencarri
edonwit
hthe
conver
sati
onheishaving.
“Youknowthebut
tonst
opress.
..
HawuIhav
e
beenmeani
ngtoaskwhathappenedt
osame
outf
itf
orPKandMzwakhe”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon'
tknowIdi
dn'
tdesi
gnt
hatf
or
Mzwakhe.Hi
swasdi
ff
erent”
Me:
“Soy
oumeanhehadhi
sspeci
aldesi
gner
?”
Kuhl
e:“
Yep”
Thando:“
Heistr
yingtoohar
dtowi
nyouback”
shesippedonhercider
Me:“Mxm I'
m notgett
ingbackwithhi
m notnow
notev er
.Ir
egretmeeti
nghim cozri
ghtnowhe
i
sbeinganass.Iwi l
lstopall
owinghimtosee
Lami str
unasiIm upherenow”
Sihl
e:“
Don'tpunishtheboyKat.Speaki
ngoft
hat
hubbywantdocer emonyforMzwakheand
Lami t
ointroducethem t
ot heZwane
ancestor
s”
Me:“
Hecandot hecer
emonyIdon'
thavea
pr
oblem butLamiwi
ll
useMngomezuluashi
s
l
astname”
“Ov
emydeadbody!
”ThatwasMzwakheIdi
dn'
t
not
icewhendi
dhegett
ous
Me:
“Whoar
eyout
otel
lmet
hatThembal
ami
is
myson!
”
Mzwakhe:
“Hei
salsomysonheisaZwane!”I
st
oodupsothatIcanf
acet
hisi
diot
.
Me: “ListenhereguyThembal ami'sfatheris
Phakamani noty ouwenay ouarejustasper m
donor .Idon'
tev enknowwhatwasIt hinking
openingmyl egsf oryou!JustbecauseIal lowed
yout ohav ear elationshipwithhim doesn't
meany ouhav easayi nhisli
fe.Imadey oua
favoury oudon' tdeser vetobei nhisli
fe!I
fy ou
don'twantmet ost opthisli
tt
lebondy ouar e
try
ingt omakewi thhim knowy ourplace!”
Mzwakhe: “Youhavenori
ghtt
ousemysonto
punishme!Thembal ami
ismysonKhet
hokuhl
e
whet hery
oulikei
tornot
.Hehavet
ousemy
surname!!”
Vincent
:“
Youtwoneedt ocal
m downcoz
bottom l
i
neisLami i
saZwane.Wecan't
i
ntroducehi
mt otheZwaneancestor
sthenhe
useMngomez ul
ut hatwi
ll
enraget
heancestor
s
andputhi
sli
featr
isk”
Me:“Youmi ghtaswell notintroducehimtothe
Zwaneancest orswewi l
li
ntroducehi mtothe
Mngomezul uancest
orsI t
spossi bl
eIuseto
haveaf r
iendinhighschool whoal sohadthe
samesi t
uation.Herstepf ather'
sancestor
s
acceptedherwi t
hwar mshands.The
Mngomezul uancest
orswi lldot hesamePKwi l
l
adopthiml egal
ly.
”
Mzwakhe:“I
fPKwantasonhemustmakehi s
ownsonandl eavemysonal oneOhIf or
get
thatheisusel
essdownt her
e!”Ever
yone
gaspedwithshockAuntyLusanda:“Asifi
t'
snot
enoughthatyouhavetotakecareofhim since
hecan'twalkheal
socan'tsati
sfyyourneeds
wuuuhay !
”shesaidl
aughing.
Il
osti
tandsqueezedMzwakhe'
smanhood.He
gr
oanedinpai
n
Mom:
“AymaanI
ssy
!”
Dad:
“My
eke”(
Leav
eher
)hesai
dlaughi
ng
Mom cametomeandpul
l
edmeawayf
rom
Mzwakhe.
Me:“Mom pl easeletmegoIwantsqueezedt his
bastard'
smanhoodunt ilhebreat
hshislast
breath!Yourmanhooddoesn' tmakey ouaman
youasshol eyouf or
cedy our
selfonme.Ar eal
mannev erforcehimselfonawomansodon' t
youdar etalkshit
!”Ihi
tanerveallthesmirkthat
wasonhi sfacevanishedshamet ookover.
PK:
“Babyl
et'
sgo”
Mom: “
Dontgoson..
.”shewasdi
stur
bedby
Konke'
swail
ing.Wit
haspeedofli
ghtmytwin
br
otherwasnexttoher
I
na:
“Whati
swr
ongbaby
”
Konke:
“Buhl
esl
appedme”
I
na:
“Whatt
hehel
lBuhl
e!”
Buhl
e:“
Iwon'
tal
l
owabi
tcht
otal
kshi
ttome!
”
I
na:“
Heyhey!Buhl
ebenkosi
ungangi
hlanyi
si
minaushay
waubani wena!
”Heroar
edi nanger
Buhle:
“Fuckof
fNkosinamandl
athiswhor
e
rui
nedmymar ri
agethental
kshit
!”
Ina:
“Li
stenandli
stent
omecar
eful
ifyouever
l
ayy ourrot
tenhandonmywi
feIwil
lski
nyou
ali
ve!”
Buhle:
“NxIshoul
dhavesent20guy st
omol est
hercozIseethatshedi
dn'tl
ear
nthelesson.
Shestil
lgott
henervetotal
kshi
t!”
I
na:
“Youbi
tchy
ou..
.youareonewhobought
t
hosementomolesther
!”
Buhle:
“Shedeserveiteverysingl
epain!The
acci
denttooI m behindit
!”shesaidwith
sati
sfacti
on.Weallexclai
med!Thi sgir
lis
somet hi
ngelsemos.
Aunt
yZano:
“JesusBuhl
ebenkosi
howcany
ou
besocr
uel”
Buhl
e:“
Shedestroy
edmymar ri
ageMom Iha..
.”
shedi
dn'tf
ini
shasInascoopherupt
henthrew
heri
nthepool.Weallscr
eamedaswater
spat
ter
edonus.UnclePhilanewal
kedt
omy
twi
nbrotherandpunchedhim
UnclePhil
ane:
“Whatt
hefuckInamandlay ou
knowshecan'tswimyouwantt oki
ll
!her”he
sai
djumpingintot
hepooltorescuehis
daughterwhowasgaspi
ngf orai
r.
Ina:
“Shedeserv
et odi
esheisnohumanbutan
evil
animalagg!”Aunt
yZanohelpedher
husbandthenshewalkedinsi
dethehousewi
th
herdaughterwhowascryi
nghy st
eri
cal
ly
.
Li
yabonga:
“Haaai
-dramaengakaev
enDSTV
doesn'
thav
esuchdrama”shesaidl
aughi
ng.
Gogo:
“ShutupLi
yabonga!
”
I
na:
“Babylet'
sgowherear
etheki
ds”Justt
hen
MakhosazanaandSi
sFlor
aemerged
Thando:
“Mama”shewentt
oher
Dad:
“Whatar
ey oudoi
nghereMakhosazana!
”
Mom'sfacet
urnedredshepoppedherfi
nger
s.
Makhosazana:
“Ineedt
otal
ktoy
ou”
Mom:“
Leav
emyhousey ouknowyouar
enot
wel
comehere!Fl
orasendherout
”
Makhosazana:
“I
m pr
egnant
!”
Dad:
“Sowhatthatgottodowit
husf
uckof
f
maan!”hepushedheraway.
Makhosazana:“
Idi
dn'tt
akethepi
l
lsIf
lushed
t
hem.I'
m carry
ingyourchi
l
dMawakhelomuzi”
Gogo:
“Heeee?
”
Mkhul
u:“
Whaaat
?”
Weal lfrozeandlookedatthem.Il
ookedat
Mamat of i
ndoutifi
t'
strueandherexpr
essi
on
displayedal lt
heanswerIneed.NowIgetwhy
theyt hrewheroutshef uckedmyfather
!
Differentemot i
onsengulfedme.Mom ran
i
nsidet hehouse
Dad:
“Baby
..”Hesaidrunni
ngaf
terher
.If
elt
mom'spainitwasli
keitwashappeni
ngtome.
Howcansheaf t
erwhatmom didforher
.How
coul
ddaddydot hi
stomommy .Ifel
tmyface
getti
ngdampwi thtearsandwentinsi
dethe
house.Ishuff
ledtodad'sstudyandopenedhi
s
safety
.Myhandswer eshakingIt
ookhisgun
andwal kedout.
Me: “
Youbitch!”Ipoi
ntedatMakhosazana
everyonescream.Idon'tknowwhatwasgoi ng
onwi thmet hebeastunleashedandIcouldn't
controli
t.“
Af t
ermymom r i
skedherl
if
ef oryou
i
st hi
showy outhankherbitchbysl
eepingwi t
h
herhusbandnotf orgett
ingthaty
oustoleme! ”
Makhosazana:
“I
ssycal
m downokayy oucan'
t
putabl
ameonmeonl yyourf
atherwantedme”
Me:“Howcany oudothi
shuh!Whatkindofa
womant hatenj
oytoseeanotherwomanin
suchpai
n!"Tearsf
all
effor
tl
esslyonmyface
Thando:
“Si
sKatcal
m downpl
ease”
Me:“
Don'tt
ellmetocal
m down!Ihadenoughof
t
hiswhorefir
stshest
olemenowshescr ewmy
f
ather.Why?Huh?WhatdidMamadot oy ou?
Whydoy ouhatehert
hismuch!
”
Makhosazana:
“Idon'
that
eherI
'
m sor
ryI
..
”
Me:“Dontt
ell
mey ousorr
y!Sor
rydoesn'
tfi
xa
t
hing!MaanIwantyoutotel
lmewhy”
Mkhulu:“
Majobey
ouneedtocal
m down.Giv
e
meagunmybabybeforeyoudosomethingyou
wi
llr
egret!”
Me:
“Tr
ustmeIwontr
egr
etki
l
li
ngt
hiswhor
e!!
”
Gogo:
“Issy.
.nunuzakagogolookatme”I
l
ookedather“ Givemethegunsthandwasami
youdon'twanttodothisandthi
sisnowayto
sol
vethis”
Me:“
Im notsolvi
nganythinggrandmathe
damageisalreadydone!”Iwipedmytearswi
th
myarm
Aunt
ySwe:
“Nkosi
sthandi
l
e..
.”
Me:“Pl
easedon'tstopmet odayt
het r
uthwil
l
comeout !Iwi
llshootthi
swhoreeachanev er
y
partofherbodyuntil
shetellt
hedamnf ucki
ng
tr
uth!”Ishotherarm ever
yonescreamed
Thando:
“Kathowcoul
dyou!
”
Me:
“Tal
kMakhosazana”
Makhosazana:
“I
m sor
ryIcan'
tremember
!”
Me:“Iwi
llf
orceyoutorememberke!
”AsIwas
abouttoshootheragai
nshewentdownonher
kneesandcried,
bloodooozi
ngoutofherar
m
Makhosazana:“
Im sor
ryi
twasnev
ermy
i
ntent
iontostealyoui
twas.
..
was.
.”
Aunt
yLusanda:“
Im cal
l
ingt
hepol
i
cei
fyou
don'
tst
opthi
sIssy!
”
Me:
“Callt
hem Idon'
tcar
ebutt
hisbi
tchwi
l
ltal
k
t
oday.Khuluma!
”
Makhosazana;“I
tswasLusanda'splanal
l
al
ong”shecriedIlookedatLusandashegav
e
measheepishlook
AuntyLusanda:“
Heyt
hiswomani
ssi
ckdon'
t
l
ist
entoher !”
Makhosazana:
“Itwasy
ou!Youst
oleI
ssyand
gavehert ome!”shewentonandt old
ever
ythingfrom thebeginningtil
ltheend.Tear
s
keptr
ollingdownmyf aceIt r
iedtobreathbutI
coul
dn'teveryt
hingwentbl ackafterthat
.
[
06/
02,
10:
41]W:
★ Boi
tumel
oMor
uri
-Ndl
ovu★
★ Nozi
ngaToi
se★
★ Nozi
phoNi
nel
a★
★ Andi
l
eBoom Mbat
ha★
★ JanetThat
oSmal
l
★
★ Mbal
enhl
eAmanda★
★ Pr
iscaMnt
ambo★
★ Nosi
phoPenel
opéSambo★
★ Fuzel
i
hleNgcobo★
_
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
___
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___
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___
_
_
___
_
79
NARRATED
•
ThenerveMakhosazanahadtoshowupher
faceatt
heSit
holeResidenceaft
erwhatshedi
d
madeWakheandLi weangr yt
othecore.
Wakhe:
“Whatarey
oudoi
ngher
e
Makhosazana!
”
Makhosazana:
“Ineedt
otal
ktoy
ou”
Li
we:“
Leav
emyhousey ouknowyouar
enot
wel
comehere!Fl
orasendherout
”
Makhosazana:
“I
m pr
egnant
!”
Wakhe:“
Sowhatthatgottodowi
thusf
uckof
f
maan!”hepushedheraway.
Makhosazana: “Idi
dn'ttakethepil
lsIf
lushed
them.I'
m carry
ingy ourchil
dMawakhel omuzi”
Thosewor dscutdeepi ntoLiwe'shear
tlikea
sharpbl
adewhi leWakhe' sragegrew.Hef el
t
l
ikestr
anglingtheli
f eoutofthiswoman.
Ndoni
:
“Heeee?
”
Nhl
oni
pho:
“Whaaat
?”
Newscameasshocktoev er
y one.Liwecouldnt
t
akethestar
est
hatwerepiercingintoher.Di
d
t
hiswomanhadtoairherhousehol ddi
rty
l
aundrysher
ani
nsidethehouse.
Wakhe:“Baby..
”Hesai drunningafterhi
swi f
e
“Li
wewai tup”shekeptr unningtearsblindi
ng
hersightandherkneeswer ewobbl i
ngshe
missedast eplucki
lyherhusbandwasr ight
behindherhecat chherandscoopedherup.He
walkedwithhertot hemast erbedroom.Hesat
downont hebedpl acingheronhi slaps.“I
m
sorr
ybaby .
..”shecutherof f
Li
we:“
Yousai
dyoumadesureshetookt
hepi
l
ls
Wakhewhatt
hefucki
sthi
snow!!
!”
Wakhe:
“Dontshoutandswearatme”
Li
we:
“I
'm sor
ry”
Wakhe:
“Shetr
ickedmeIsawhert aki
ngthe
pi
l
lsanddri
nkingwaterbabyIswear
.Ithi
nkshe
stuckthem inhermouthIshoul
dhav
ebeen
extracaref
ulI'
m sor
ry”
Li
we:
“Whati
sgoi
ngt
ohappennow”
Wakhe:“Wehav et
ofi
ndproofi
fsheisreal
l
y
pregnantshecoul
dbepl
ayingusthatwomanis
adev i
lsheisoutt
odest
royuspleasel
etnotl
et
herwinbaby ”
Li
we:
“Soi
fshei
scar
ryi
ngy
ourbaby
?”
Wakhe:“I
'
m af r
aidhist
oryi
sgoingtorepeat
i
tself
.Ihatethatwomanwi thpassi
on.Sheis
evil
Ican'
tletherraisemybaby..
..
”shecuthim
offasshegetupf rom hi
slapsthensatdown
ontheotheredgeoft hebedgivi
nghim her
back
Liwe:“Im sorryWakheIcan' tacceptthischil
d
pleasedon' tmakemer aiseitl
ikey ourdaddid
toy ourmom wi thZanokuhleIwon' tbeableto
dot hatI'
m sor ry
.Iknowt hatIwon'tlovethis
babyi twillbeaconst antreminder.Iknowt hat
thebabyi si nnocentbutI'
m sorryIcan't”Her
voicebr
oketear
srandownherface.Wakhe
stoodupandwenttohersi
dethenkneel
ed
downbetweenherthi
ghs.
Wakhe: “
Ihat emy selff
orcausi
ngthi
spai nto
youIshoul dhavenotal l
owedthatwomant o
playmeI 'm sor
ryandIunder st
andIcan'tl
et
youraisethisbabymay bewhenti
megoeson
youwi l
llearntolovehim orher
.Iwil
lmakesur e
thatthi
swomanst ayawayfrom y
ou..
.”shecut
him off
Li
we:
“Soy
oudowantt
hisbaby
?”
Wakhe:“WhatdoyoumeanLiweIdidn'
tplan
t
hisbabyy ouknowthatsowhatshoul
dIdoI'm
t
ryi
ngt ocomeupwi t
hasoluti
onthatwil
lwork
f
orallus”
Li
we:“I
m prayi
ngsohar dthatsheisl
yingIdon't
wantthisbabyatall
.IknowItscruel
butIcan'tI
j
us..
."shebursti
ntotears
Wakhe:
“Youwanthert
oabor
tmychi
l
d?”
Li
we:“Thisbabyisherwayt owinyoucan'tyou
seethat?Shewillfor
everbepartofourl
ivesI
can'
thavethat.It
'spai
nfulenoughthaty
ou
sl
eptwithher.”
Wakhe:“
Youarebei
ngimpossibler
ightnow
Zesul
i
wemybabyi sinnocentdon'
tyouthi
nk
sheorhedeser
veachancet oli
ve?”
Li
we:
“Iguesshedoesmov
eIneedt
osl
eep”
Wakhe:
“Babycomeonwear
est
il
ltal
ki
ng”
Li
we:“
Im donetalki
ngWakhe.Youwantt
his
babyi
tsfi
nehav eitandgi
veitthel
ovey
ou
havet
ogetherwiththemot
her.Youcanmake
morebabies”
Wakhe:
“Youar
ebei
ngunf
airnowLi
we.
..
”
Liwe:“
Unfair?Youwannaknowwhati sunfai
r.
Whati sunfairi
sthatIhavetoacceptawoman
thatcausedmesomuchpai ni
scarryi
ngmy
husband'sbaby .Ababythati
smeantt obreak
mymar r
iage,ababythatwasconceivedinmy
house, ababyt hatwillcreateaconnect i
on
betweent hetwoofy ou, ababyt hatyoualways
want edbutIcoul dn'
tgiv eittoy ouduet o
medi calissues.Ihavet oacceptt hatI'
m stuck
witht hatwhor ef
orever.Ihav etoacceptt hatI
willf
or everbeinsecureev ery t
imey ouarewi th
her.Ihav etoacceptt hatI'm nott heonly
womanwhobor eyouchi ldrent hatisunfair
”
tearsst r
eameddownherf ace.Wakhe' sheart
brokei ntopiecesthere'
snot hinghehat ethen
bethesour ceofhiswi fe'
spai n.
Wakhe: “Im sorrybabyIwi shIcoul dturnthis
situationI mr eall
ysor r
y.Thisbabywi llnever
changehowIf eelabouty ou.Youbor eme
children, f
ivebeaut i
f ulchildr
enIwi llf
oreverbe
grateful myl ovepleasedon' tfeelbadt hatyou
coul dn'tgivemenumber6I '
m satisfi
edand
happywi t
hourchi ldr en.I
m happywi t
hy ou
aloney ouar emyl ifetime.Ilovey ouandIwi ll
alway sl ovey outil
lIdi eandi ftherearea
thousandsl if
etimeaf terthatIwillfi
ndy ouinall
thoseli
fet
imesandf
all
inl
ovewit
hyou
every
timeI'
m bor
nagai
n”Heki
ssedhert
ear
s
away
Liwe:“Thenwhyareyouallowi
nghertocome
betweenus.Hav i
ngthisbabyit
'smeanssheis
winning,don'
tyougetthat?I'
m sor
rythatIf
eel
thiswaybutIcan'thel
pitI'
m humantoo.Move
pleaseIwanttosleep”ThedoorburstopenMj
rushedi n
Mj
:
“Fol
ksI
ssyf
aint
ed”
Li
we:
“Whathappened”
Mj:
“Sheshott
hetrut
houtofMakhosazanaf
or
st
eali
ngherappar
entl
yitwasAunt
yLusanda'
s
pl
an”
Li
we:
“Whaat
”
Mj:
“YeyIssyisagangerst
arl
adyI'mt el
li
ngyouI
swearIfel
tli
keI'
m watchi
ngamov i
e” Hesai
d
l
aughing.Theyal
lrushedout
side.Everyonewas
st
il
lshockedaboutwhatwentdown.
Makhosazanawascr
yingwhi
leLusandadi
dn'
t
evenfeel
anounceofremor
se.Other
swere
tr
yingtowakeI
ssyup
PK:“
Sheisnotwaki
ngupl
ett
akehert
othe
hospi
tal
”
Sweli
hlespr
inkl
edwat
eronIssy'
sfaceshe
openedhereyesandbl
inkedl
azil
y
Li
we:
“Baby
”
I
ssy
:“I
m sor
ry”shewhisper
edt
ear
srandown
ont
hesideofherface
Liwe:“I
tsnoty
ourf
aul
tIssy
”sheki
ssedher
forehead.
Wakhe:“
Nowthatmybabyi
sawakei
t'
sti
met
o
hearwhati
sgoi
ngonhere”
Ndoni:
“Ialwaysknewyouar eabadpersonbutI
neverthoughtyouarethi
scruel
.Howcouldyou
dothistoyoursist
erLusandahuh!Youareso
evi
l
!”
Lusanda:
“Iwasev
engi
ngmysi
ster
!.
..
”Shewas
cutshor
tbyahotcl
apt
hatl
andedonherf
ace
Luyanda:
“Youdisgustme!”Lusandawas
stupef
iedshedidn'
texpectthi
sfrom hersi
ster
.
Shedidalloft
hisforher
Lusanda:
“Idi
dthi
sforyouLuyandaIwant ed
thatbi
tchtof
eelthepai
nsheputy outhrough.
Shetookyourfi
ancéandki
ll
edy ourdaughter!
!”
Luyanda:“
Zesuli
weandImadepeaceLusanda!
Whyi t'
ssohardforyoutoacceptt
hathuh?I
'm
happil
ymar r
iedandGodblesseduswithtwo
chi
ldrenarggIdon'
tevenknowwhattosayto
you!!
”
Lusanda:“
Youaresoungr atef
ul Idi
dthi
scozI
l
ovey oudammi t
!Isawy oucryingeverydayit
pai
nedt othecoreIt
oldmy selfIwil
lavengeyou.
Iwil
lmakesur eshefeel
t hepainsheputy ou
thr
oughandt r
ustmeshedi d!
”
Thando:“
Mom isl
osingbloodsheneedtogot
o
thehospi
tal
”shetookoffhert
-shi
rtand
wrappedItar
oundhermom' sarm whowas
gr
oani
ngi
npai
n
I
ssy
:“Hospi
tal
forwhatl
etherdi
e”
Thando:“
Shedi
dwr ongIunder
standbutyou
di
dn'thavet
oshoother.Mom wasplayedby
Lusandashemanipulat
edher”
Lusanda:
“Heyheyshehadachoicetoref
use
don'
tyoudaretal
kshity
ouli
tt
lebrat
!”
Wakhe:
“Cananyonetel
lmewhathappened
f
rom t
hebeginni
ng!
”
Nhloniphonarrat
edt hestorytohissonwho
keptcl
enchinghisjawsandf l
i
nchinghisf
ists
whil
eZesuliweshedt ears.“Evil
doesn'
teven
begi
nt odescri
bey ouLusanda!You...
you.
.”
wordsfail
him hewassoangr y“Noonehur tmy
famil
yandgetawaywi thit!
”
Luyanda:
“Canwesitdownandtal
kaboutt
his
Mawakhelomuzi.Wearefami
l
yaneyeforan
eyedoesn'tsol
veany
thi
ng”
Wakhe:
“Tal
k?Tal
kwon'
tsol
veany
thi
ngt
hese
womendeser
vepai
n!”
Vi
ncent:
“Whil
ey a'
l
ltal
kanyonetel
lmewhere
di
dBuhledisappearedt
o.Shetoocan'
tget
awayeasyforwhatshedidtomydaughter
!”
Phi
l
ane:
“Dar
etouchmydaught
ery
ouwi
l
lknow
whoam I
”
I
na:“
Real
l
yUncleyouar
edefendi
ngher
.Di
dyou
hear
dwhatt
hisdaught
erofyour
sdi
dhuh?”
Phil
ane:“
Shewasverywr
ongbutthatdoesn'
t
meanIwi l
lal
lowyoutot
ouchher.Luy
andais
ri
ghtletal
lsi
tdownandtal
kaboutthi
s”
I
na:
“Tal
kingwon'
ter
aset
hepai
nsheputmy
wi
fethr
ough!”
Wakhe:
“Exact
lyt
alki
ngwon'tchangeathi
ng.
Makhosazanaar
ey our
eal
lypregnant
?”
Makhosazana:
“Yes”shesobbed
Wakhe:
“Youar
ely
ingmaan!
”
Makhosazana:
“Isweary
oucancal
ladoct
orf
or
pr
oof
”Li
we'
shear
tbr
okemor
e
Thando:
“Daddypl
easeshei
sinpai
nshewi
l
l
l
osethebaby”
I
ssy:“
THANDOKUHLESIBI
YAwhi
chsidear
eyou
onhuh?Shewi
lll
oset
hebabymyst
inki
nglef
t
foot
!”
Thando:
“Shei
sst
il
lmymot
herokay
!”
I
ssy:
“Yourmot her?Youcallthatbi
tchamot
her.
Shei
scr uel
!Ican'tbel
ieveyouaresidi
ngwi
th
herr
ightnowaf terwhatshedid!!
”
Thando:“
I'
m notsi
dingwi t
hherbutwi l
ltor
tur
ing
herchangeeveryt
hing?Noi twon'
t!Shemessed
upbigti
mebutev eryonedeserveasecond
chancesheisremor sef
ulunli
keAuntyLusanda
whodoesn'tgiv
eashi t!
”
Lusanda:
“Remorsefulreal
lythenwhyi sshe
l
yingaboutpregnancy?Shei snotpregnantwe
weregoingtostealanotherbabyinthehospit
al
andsayItsMawakhel omuz i
'
s!”Ever
y one
exclai
med,r
eli
efsurgedt
hroughLi
we.I
ssy
bursti
ntol
aughter
Issy:
“Canpeopl
ebet hi
scruelhuh?WowIgi
ve
upDaddysor tt
hem outoryouwantmetodeal
withthem”PKlookedathertodayhesawa
sideofKatheneverthoughtexi
sted.
Wakhe:“
Dadyouhavetohelpherwit
hthebul
let
Iwantheral
i
veIwanthertofeelev
erypai
nshe
putusthr
ough.
”
Thando:
“Daddypl
ease”
Li
yabonga:“
Goodbyemothersendmyr
egar
dto
ancest
ors”shesai
dlaughi
ng.
Luy
anda:
“Wakhepl
easeI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou”
Li
we:“Letthem gohoneyt
heyarenotwor
thit
.
Theytri
edt oburyusbutt
heyf
orgetweare
seeds.BythegraceofGodwefoundour
daughter
.”
Wakhel
ookedathi
swifeandnodded.
Nhl
oni
phoremovedthebul
letf
rom
Makhosazana'sarm andgav ehersomemeds
aft
erthattheywerechasedout .Everyonewent
tothei
rhomesi twasalreadylateandt heywer
e
all
tir
ed.Itwasquiteanev ent
fulday.Wakhe
sneakedoutafterhiswi
fef al
lasleep.Hemade
acall
Wakhe:
“Gott
hem?
”
Guy
:“Yes”
Wakhe:“I
m coming”Het ookhi
scarkeysand
l
eft.Uponarri
valhi
sguyshowedhim whereshe
ti
edthem inchair
s.Theywereint
heir
underwearsonly
Makhosazana:
“Yousaidyouf
orgi
veus
Mawakhelomuzi”shecri
ed
Lusanda:
“Youbast
ardIknewy
ouwontl
ett
his
go!”
Wakhel
aughed
Wakhe:
“Yety
oudi
dn'
trunaway
.”
Lusanda:
“YouandZesul
i
wedeser
veeach
ot
her
!”
Wakhe:
“Youarer
ightshame.Wear
ethebesti
n
t
heuniv
erse.”
Makhosazana:
“MawakheI
m sor
rypl
easedon'
t
hur
tme”
Wakhe:
“OhnosweetyIwonthur
tyou.Wej
ust
goi
ngtohavef
un.Spir
o!”
Spi
ro:
“MrS”
Wakhe: “Thebox”Spi r
obr oughtt heboxand
gavei ttoWakhe.“ Insideher ether earemy
fri
endst heyar ecrav i
ngforaf lesh”Hewal ked
towardst hem andopent heboxt henpour
carpenterant sont hem.Theyscr eamedast he
antsbi t
et hem all
ov ertheirbodi es.Wakhe
l
aughedl ookingatt hem wrigglingt hemsel
ves
andscr eami ngast hecarpent erant sbit
ethem.
“Iwil
l seey outomor rowwomen”Hesai d
walkingoutl aughing
.
.
IhadalongdayImtir
edI'
m sor
rybuti
tsbet
ter
thennot
hing.Ni
ghtni
ght
[
06/
02,
10:
53]W:
80
THANDOKUHLE
•
Timeis2i nt
hemor ningIcan'
tsl
eepmyhear t
i
ssor eandmypi l
l
owi sdampwi t
hmyt ears.I
m
tr
yingtoceasethetearsfr
om fal
l
ingbutthey
j
ustfallef
for
tl
essly
.
Ithoughtf
indingmamawi l
lfi
l
lthev oi
dinmy
heartandtheywill
getbacktogetherwit
h
Daddybutaf t
erwhatwentdowny ester
dayI
'
m
broken.
I
'm hur
tthatallt
histi
meshehav ebeen
pr
etendi
ngt hatshecan'trememberany
thing
whil
eshedoes.I tmakemewonderhowl ong
wasshegoingt ohidethisfr
om us.
Whathur
tmemor
ethenany
thi
ngi
sthat
i
nsteadofbuil
dingarel
ati
onshipwi
thmeher
onl
ydaughtersheisbusyplani
ngtodestr
oy
MommyQueenandDaddyKi ng'
smarri
age.
Shedoesn'tcareaboutmeatal l
eversinceshe
walkedinmyl i
feIhaven'
tfel
tanounceof
motherslovefr
om herbutItoldmyselfmay be
aft
ershegainbackhermemor ythi
ngswi l
lbe
bett
er.
Ihavealway swantedt ohavear elat
ionshi
p
withherbutitsseemsl ikeshedoesn' tcar
e
aboutthatormef orthatmat t
er.Imayhav e
comeoutasnotl oyalyesterdaybutthatdoesnt
meanIt urnedbli
ndey eofwhatshedi dandI
thoughtsheisremor sefulkantineh.
Idon'
tbeliev
erevengehelpscozl ookedwhat
j
usthappenednow.I nnocentli
vesaretouched
becauseofonerev engef
ulheart.Aunty
Lusandaisacreatorofallt
hisandweal lended
upsuffer
ingnotthatIsaymom i sinnocent
.
Shepl
ayedahugepar
t.Idon'
tunder
standwhy
doessheallowLusandat ouseherli
kethi
sor
may benayeshedoeswantdaddyKi ngtobe
hers.I
tsbr
ingsmet earsthatmom isbusy
haunti
ngfordicksthatdoesn'
tbel
ongtoher
whilewehav en'
tev
enbonded.
Thef i
rstthi
nghermemorycomesbackshe
thi
nkaboutanot herwoman'sdi
ckthenheronl
y
daughter.I'
m st
arti
ngtot
hinkevenifthewi
tch
doctordidn'
tstol
ehershewasnev ergonnabe
ther
ef orus.
Wewoul dsti
llsufferj
ustli
kewedi d.Sheis
whatyoucalldisgracetomot her
hood.Ipr ayto
GodthatonedaywhenHebl essmewi t
hki ds
mayInev ert
urnmybackonmyt hem ,mayI
l
ovethem whol eheart
edlyandunconditi
onal l
y.
Eveni
fLogandeci detol
eav emef oranother
womanmayInotputt heblameonmyki ds.
I
'm sur
ey ouwannaknowaboutLogan.
*
Blushing*Wel
lheisaincredi
bleboyfr
iendwe
metatEastgat
emall.Heistal
lmyt y
paguy
*wi
nks*hehav
ebl uespar
kli
ngeyesIcoul
d
i
maginehowwill
ourkidslookl
i
keiftheyt
ook
hi
seyes.
Histhi
ckpi nkli
psareshapedsonicel
ythatyou
cankissthem every
day.Hewor kout
salotheis
notbuffythoughhehaveawel lmusclebody
.
HisVlinedr i
vesmecrazy.*
toungeout*Heis
doingmedi ci
neatMedunsa.
Wel oveeachot herbaki
thi heisall Ineedi na
guy .Thef amil
yknowhi m andt heyl i
kedhi m
evenDaddyt oobutMj doesn' tli
kehi m Idon't
understandwhati shi
spr oblem.It ookmy
phoneandcal l
edmybaby .Wehav en'tdonet he
deedy etIdon'tknowwhati shewai t
ingf orcoz
I'
m mor ethenr eady*lol
*Hear i
nghi shusky
voicewilldif
enet l
ysoothmyhear t
.Hepi cked
upaf t
erawhi l
eIknowhei ssl eepingbutIneed
himr i
ghtnow.
Logan:“
MaSothobewamiomuhl
e”(MaSotobe
wami omuhl
e)Igiggl
edy
ouseealr
eadyI'
m
l
aughingwebarel
ysai
dmuchtoeachot
her
.
Thatwhathedoestome.Hemakemehappy.
Me:“
WowIdidn'
tknowy
ouknowmycl
an”I
hear
dhi
m chuckl
i
ng
Logan:“
I'
mful
lofsur
pri
sesdi
dIsai
dthatr
ight
though?”
Me:“
Youar
eful
lofsur
pri
sesi
ndeed.Yesmy
l
ove”
Logan:
“Yourv
oicei
shoar
sear
eyoual
ri
ght
?”
Me:“
Imfi
ne”Isai
dwi
thacr
yingv
oiceIcan'
t
hel
pmyself
Logan:“
Babywhatiswrong?”Im sureheis
gett
ingupnow.Hewor ri
esal otaboutme.I
coul
dn'trepl
yIcr
ied.“
NoI'm comingtofetch
you”
Me:“
NobabyIwi
l
lbef
inedontwor
ryIj
ustmi
ss
you”
Logan:
“I
m comi
ngokay
”
Me:
“Don'
tbabyIwi
l
lbef
iner
eal
l
y.”
Logan:
“Areyousur
e?Youknowwhaty
ouar
e
doi
ngrightnowishur
ti
ngme.”
Me:“
Im sor
rymyl ovey
ouknowwhathowabout
youpickmeupint hemor
ningwewi
llspendt
he
whol
edayt oget
her”
Logan:“
Morni
ngissofarwheny
ouar
ecr
ying
l
ikethatbuti
t'
sokay
.”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ousomuch”
Logan:
“Il
oveyoumor emyl ove”Weconti
nued
tal
ki
ngandlaughi
ng.Iforgotaboutt
hepainin
myheart.Weweredistur
bedbyasof tknockon
thedoor
Me:
“BabeIhav
etogosl
eepwel
l
”
Logan:
“Youtoobabe.Don'
tfor
gett
hatLogani
s
unfl
i
nchingl
yinl
ovewithyou”
Me:
“Lov
ehim moreandmor eevery
day ”He
madeki
ssessoundIgiggl
edthenwehungup.
“
comein”Il
ookedatthedoorinanti
cipati
on.
Whocouldi
tbeint
histi
meoftheni
ght
.The
dooropeni
ncameMj i
nhispj
.
Mj:“
Isawthel
i
ghtonIthoughtIshoul
dcheck
onyou.Yousl
eptv
eryearl
ythenevery
one
toni
ght”
Me: “
Ohyeahaft
erwhatwentdown”Hecame
towardsmeandsatnexttomef aci
ngme.Hei s
suchanastyhotasst
hisboyI'
mt el
li
ngy ou.
Regardl
essofhi
snastybehav
iorlat
elyIsti
ll
enjoyhi
scompany
Mj
:
“Im sor
ry”
Me:“
NoIm sor
ryforwhatmom i
sdoi
ngt
oyour
par
ent'
smarri
age”
Mj:
“Mom andDad'
slov
eisunbr
eakabl
esodon'
t
st
ress.Theywi
l
lri
seupaf
tert
hiswhol
esaga.
”
Me:
“If
eel
badt
hough”
Mj:
“Dontit
snoty ourf
aul
tlove”Il
ookedathim
hesmiled“ThandoisLov
er i
ght”Ichuckl
edand
nodded
Mj
:
“Youwer
ecr
yingy
ourey
esar
ered”
Me:“Youknowhowl ongIhav ebeenyearning
tobuil
dar elati
onshi
pwi t
hMamaIt houghtt he
momenthermemor ycomebackwewi llt
ryand
workonourr el
ati
onshi
pbutshepl anson
sabotagi
ngy ourparent
s.Shedoesn' tcare
aboutmeMj Ihav
eneverev enrecei
veahug
fr
om her.Whycan' tshelovemehuh?Whati s
wrongwithmeam Iunl ovable”t
earsstreamed
down.Hepul l
edmet ohisarmsandwr apped
hisarmsar oundme.
Mj:“
Ofcourseyouar elovabl
eThando.Iwi shI
knowwhati sgoi
ngont hatwoman' shead.I
real
lydon'
tunderstandwhati swr ongwit
hher
butnevert
hinkyouar eunlovable.Wealll
oveyo
somuch.Youhav eusnomat terwhat.
”
Me:
“Iwashopi
ngdaddyandherwillgetback
t
ogethernowI
'
m st
uckwiththatev
ilwoman”
Hepull
edmebackandlookedatme
Mj
;“Whatev
ilwoman”
Me:“
Daddyisinar el
ati
onshi
pwit
ht hi
swoman.
Sheisevi
lMj l
i
keasnake.Shepretendtolove
meinfrontofdaddybutwhenwear ealoneshe
makemyl i
fealivi
nghell
.”Hecl
enchedhisjaw
Mj
:
“Youneedt
otel
lyourf
ather
..
.”
Me:“NoMj Ican'
tdaddyseem tobehappywi th
herIdon'twanttocausetroubl
eforthem and
shesaidshewi l
lmakesureDaddycutmeout
ofhisli
feIdon'
twantthat.Heistheonlyparent
thatIhavesi
ncemyi ncubatordoesn'
tcar
e.”I
sobbed
Mj
:“
Whataevi
lwoman!NonoI'
m goi
ngt otel
l
MrSi
biy
amysel
fhaaathi
swomanissick!
”
Me:
“Mjpl
easedon'
tdot
hatI
'
m beggi
ngy
oushe
wi
ll
..
.”
Mj:
“Thandokuhl
ewhyareyouallowingthi
s
womant obull
yyouhuh?Yourfatherl
oveyou
hewil
ldumpherl i
keahotpotat
o!”
Me:
“Thatt
het
hingMawakhel
omuzi
Juni
orhei
s
softwheni
tcomestoher
.Whenshesayj
ump
daddyaskhowhi
gh.Hewill
nev
erbel
i
eveme”
Mj
:“
Sshhdon'tcr
yIwi
l
lsor
tthi
sout
..
.”hesai
d
wi
pingmytears
Me:
“Mj
pleasedon'
t”Iwhi
sper
ed
Mj:“
Iwil
ltel
lIssyshewi
l
lsol
vethis”hesai
d
chuckl
i
ng“ ThatwomanneedIssytodealwit
h
her”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ldenyev
ery
thi
ngt
oher
”Hel
ookedat
meindi
sbel
i
ef
Mj:
“Thandowhatiswrongwit
hyouthi
swoman
i
sev i
lbutyoudon'
twanttobehel
ped!
”
Me:
“Shehav
epoweroft
akingt
heonl
ythi
ng
t
hatIhol
ddeari
nmyheart
”
Mj:
“Shei
smaki
ngy
ourl
i
feal
i
vinghel
l
Thando.
..
”
Me:“
DammitmaanMj can'
tyouhearwhatI
m
say
ingt
oyoulett
hisgo!”
Mj
:
“Whatdi
dshedot
oyouThando?
”
Me:
“Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”
Mj:
“Icanseei
tiny
oureyesthatyouar
escar
ed
ofherwhatdi
dshedotoyou!!
!”
Me:
“Not
hing”
Mj
:
“Thandodon'
tmakemeangr
y!!
”
Me:“
Shesai
ditwasamist
akebutIknowi
t
wasn'
tcozDaddywast
her
e”
Mj
:
“Whatdi
dshedoThandokuhl
e!”
Me:
“Shebur
ntmewi
thahotcof
fee”
Mj:“
Whaat !Where? ”Ipull
edawayt heblankets
andlif
tedupmysi lknight
ee.“ I
sithurt?
”her an
hi
sf i
ngerstipsont heredmar kIwincedinpain.
“I
m sorrydidyouappl yany t
hing?”Ishookmy
head“Iwillgogetanf urexoint ment”Hest ood
upandwentoutt henhecameback.Hesat
downnextt omet henapplyoi ntmentonI
winced.
“I
m sorr
ybutyoucan'texpectmet
onotsay
anyt
hingaboutt
his.
..
”
Me: “
Mj please”Hesai
dnot
hingandkeepi
ng
runninghisf i
nger
sonmymar kImoanedoutof
pleasurablepain
Mj
:
“Itpai
nsshoul
dIst
op”
Me:“
Nothepainfeel
sgoodaahh”Icl
osedmy
ey
esenjoyi
ngthepleasur
abl
epai
n.“Yougot
magicf
inger
sdude”
Mj:
“Magicismymi ddl
ename”Iwasfor
cedto
openedmyey esashestop“
Uhm It
hinkit
swil
l
befi
ne.Ihavetogonow”
Me:
“Gowher
e?”
Mj
:
“Sl
eep”
Me:“Areyoual
ri
ghtyouseem Idon'
tknow”He
stoodupmyey esautomati
cal
lywenttohi
s
boner.Heranouti
mmedi at
ely
.Ok-aywhatj
ust
happened?
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
From t
hefir
stdayImetAuntyLusandashewas
ful
lshi
tsoIwon'tsayI'
m sur
pri
sedsheisal
l
behi
ndallofthi
s.AsforMakhosazanat
hat
womanargshepi ssedmeoff.
YouknowIpr eferAuntyLusandacozwhatyou
seei swhatyougetunl i
keMakhosazana.She
playsnicewhilesheknowsshei sasnakewi
th
elevenheads.Daddydi sappoi
ntedmeshame
theydeservedtobet aughtalesson.
Al essont heywillneverforget
.I'
m gladIknow
thetruththoughnowIwi llhealandmov eon
withlif
e.Ev er
yonewer esoshockedaboutmy
outburstitdoeshappenwhenI m angryIj
ust
can'thelpmy self
.Ihav ecomet olikethi
sside
ofmi necozi tj
ustt el
l
sangi si
loij
azilolI
'
m my
fat
her '
sdaught er
.
Youcanhurtmeit
sfinebutj
ustmakesureyour
i
ntent
ionsar
enottokil
lmecozthatwi
llaf
fect
myloveonesandwhenmylov
esonesar
ehur
t
oraf
fect
edIlosemymind.
Ievensurpr
isemy sel
fItel
lyou.I
'm gl
admy
babyboyisgetti
ngwellhewokeupf eeli
ng
bett
erl
astnightbutmom saidwemustl eave
hi
m wewillt
akehi m whenheisfull
ywell.
Shesay sI'
m pregnantandIgotafi
ancéwhoi
s
onwheelchairIcan'
tbedeali
ngwithLamit
oo
soIagreed.Icouldfeelt
heheavi
nessonmy
facewhichmeanssomeonei sst
ari
ngatme.
Iopenedmyey eslazi
l
yandt hereheisstaring
atmel ookinghotasev er.There'
snot hi
ngfeels
beauti
fulthentowakeupnextt ot heperson
youlovewi thy
ourheartandsoul .Thefeel
ing
andbli
ssofseei ngthef aceofthatspecial
somebody .
PK:
“Mor
ningbeaut
if
ul”
Me:
“Mor
ninghandsome”
PK:
“Howdi
dyousl
eep”
Me:
“Wondef
uly
ou”
PK:“Ialwayssleepgr eatnexttoyou”Heki ssed
myl ipsrunninghishandsal lovermybody .His
touchdoesf or
eignthingstomebutI m pat i
entI
knowhewi llbealr
ightevenifhenev erget
betterIdon'tcareIlovehim.Ipulledoutthe
suddenneedofhi mt odomewasi nt
ense.
Me:“
Ihaveplanstodayj
ustf
ory
ouandme
awayfr
om thishouse”
PK:
“Oh”Il
ookedathi
m hi
sfacehaschanged
Me:
“Whati
swr
ong”
PK:
“Nothi
ngIwantt
opeepl
easegetmy
wheel
chai
r”
Me:“
PKIwishyoucanst
opshut
ti
ngmeoutand
t
alktomeplease”
PK:
“Justgetmydamnf
ucki
ngwheel
chai
r!
”
Me:“Whatthefuckiswrongwithyouhuh!I
'
m
tr
yingokayIcan'thav
ey oubei
ngmoodyoutof
nowhere!Ihaveneverdealtwi
tht
hissi
tuat
ion
beforebutI'
m wil
l
ingt
odoany thingforusbut
youareimpossibl
ePhakamani.Lastnightyou
didthi
sagain!Iwon'
ttol
erat
ey ourmood
swingslikeyouareapregnantwoman
especial
l
ywheny oushoutatme!I '
m notyour
chil
d!”
PK:
“Donty
oudar
erai
sey
ourv
oiceatme!
”
Me:“YouknowwhatI
'
m notdoi
ngthi
swit
hyou”
Igotuphepull
edmebackandstr
angl
edme
PK:“
I'
mt hemany ougot
tagiv
emet herespectI
deser
vedoy ouhearme!!
”Icoul
dn'
tutt
era
wordhewaspr essi
nghi
shandhardonmyneck
Iswearsawmyl if
eendi
ng

[
06/
02,
11:
00]W:
81
KUHLEKONKE
•
Ican'tbelieveawomancanbet hisbrav
eand
hirement omolestanotherwoman.Whydowe
womenf i
ghtandhateeachotherwhenourmen
cheat .Iunderst
andwheny ouknew.Ididn'
t
knowaboutThul aheplayedmeasmuchashe
playedher .Howcanshebesocr uelandhur
t
mel ikethis.
Thulaist heonewhowascommi t
tedtoherhe
shouldhav estayedf ai
thf
ul.Whyam Ibeing
punishedf oragrownassman' sstupi
dit
yand
i
nf i
deli
ty.Whathappenedy est
erdayopened
woundsIt houghthealed.Icoul
dn'tsl
eeplast
nightmychestwaswheez i
ngIcri
edalotand
thatworriesmyf iancé.
I
na:
“Baby
”
Me:
“Lov
e”Myv
oicewashoar
se
I
na:
“Imadey
oubr
eakf
ast
”Isatupst
rai
ght
Me:
“Thanky
oumyl
ove”
I
na:
“Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
”Hepl
acedt
het
rayon
myl
aps
Me:“
Myhearti
ssor
ebaby.Ifoundmyselfgoi
ng
backtot
hatdar
kpl
aceagain"tear
str
ickl
edin
myeyes
I
na:
“OhmybabyI
'm sor
rytel
lmewhatshoul
dI
dot
omakeyoufeelbet
ter
”
Me:“
Yourpr
esencei
nmyl
i
femakemef
eel
bet
ter
”
Ina:“
Shehavet
opaybabyl
et'
shav
eher
arrest
edsheconf
essedmos.
”
Me:
“NahKar
mawi
l
ldeal
wit
hher
”
Ina:
“Arey
ousur
e?Icandoany
thi
ngf
ory
ou”I
smiled
Me:“
Im sur
ebaby
.Ki
ssme”Hesmi
l
edand
ki
ssedme
I
na:“
Todaywear
espendi
ngt
hedayi
nbedy
ou
needtor
est
”
Me:
“Br
ingmyki
dst
oo”
I
na:
“OKaymylove.BabyIcan'
tfi
ndmyl
apt
op
y
azbutitwasherelastni
ght
”
Me:
“Hai
bothati
sst
rangehav
eyoul
ooked
t
hor
oughly
?”
I
na:
“Yeahmyl
ovebutt
her
e'snosi
gnof
bur
glar
y”
“
Mommy !Mommy
!”mymunchki
nscame
r
unni
ng
Me:
“Hel
l
obabi
es”Theycl
i
mbonmybed
I
na:
“Donthur
tmommyki
dsshei
snotf
eel
i
ng
wel
l
”
Cassi
e:“
Whati
swr
ongMommy
”
Me:
“Headachemyl
ove”
Cassi
e:“
Im sor
ry”shepl
ant
edapeckonmyl
i
ps
Khwezi
:“
MommySbongasai
dwegoi
ngt
ohav
e
ali
tt
lesi
ster
”
Me:
“Yesbaby
”
Khwez
i:
“When?
”
Me:
“Soon”
Cassi
e:“
Mommydaddywasher
elastni
ght
”
Me:
“Daddy
?”
Cassie:
“Notdaddydaddy
”shepoint
edIna
“Daddydaddy”InaandIl
ookedateachot
her
I
na:
“Ar
eyousur
ebaby”
Cassi
e:“
YesDaddyhesai
dhel
oveme”
Me:
“Yousur
eyouwer
enotdr
eami
ng”
Cassi
e:“
NoMommyIsawhi
m”
I
na:
“Coul
ditbepossi
blet
hathei
stheonet
hat
t
ookmylaptop?”
Me:
“Buthowdi
dhegetaccessi
nthehouse”
I
na:
“Don'
twor
ryIwi
l
lsor
tthi
s”Heki
ssedmy
l
i
ps
“Ewwww”t heki
dsscr
eamedwebr
oket
heki
ss
andlaughed
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Hel etloseofmyneckhi st ear
sf alli
ngonmy
faceasIcoughedhar d.Myt hr
oatwaspai nfull
andmymout hwasdr y“BabyI 'm sor r
y ”Hehel d
mecl oset ohisar msIt r
iedt ofighthi m butI
didn'thav estrengt h.Icriedi nagonyl isteni ngto
him say ingsor r
y.“ I
m sor rymyl oveIdon' tknow
whatcameov erme.I '
m sor ryI'
mr eall
yr eal l
y
sorry”Whati shappeni ngt omychocol atecake
Idon' trecognizet hisper son.“KatI 'm sor ry
Jesuswhatt hefucki swr ongwi t
hme! ”Icr ied
untilIranoutoft ears.Ihadnowor dst osayt o
him.“ Kat ”Hemademel ookathi m“ I
m sor ry
pleasef or gi
vemeIdon' tknowwhati sgoi ngon
withmengi yaxolisa”( I
'm sor r
y)Icr iedheav i
ly
onhi schestashebr ushedmyback.“ Say
somet hingplease”hewhi spered.
If
reedmysel
ffr
om hi
sar
msbuthet i
ght
ened
hi
sgripar
oundmybody“
Im sor
ryKat
..
.”
Me:
“OkayIhear
dyou”
PK:
“Youf
orgi
veme?Youwon'
tl
eav
eme?
”
Me:“Youcan'
tkeeponhurt
ingmeandexpect
met ostayPK.Youpr
omisedthatyouwil
lnever
l
ayy ourhandonmelookwhaty ouhavedone.
Youalmostkil
ledmeandourdaughter
”I
sobbed
PK:
“Iwil
ltr
yhardert
ocont
rol
myangerpl
ease
mylovedon'tgi
veuponme”
Me:“Shar eyourfeel
ingswi thmePK.Tel lme
whatisony ourmind.Iunder standwhaty ouar e
goi
ngt hroughishar dbutwear einthistoget her.
Wecanpul lthr
oughi fwehol df i
rmlyonone
another.Itoldyouyesterdayt hatI'
m notgoi ng
anywher eyouneedt oopenupt ome.Wor kwi th
meokay .Ihaveneverdeal twiththi
ssi t
uation
beforehencemi st
akesar eboundt ohappen.
Tel
l mei fIdidsomet hi
ngwr ongori fImake
youfeel somet ypaway ”Isobbed
PK:
“Honest
lyy
oudi
dnot
hingwr
ongbaby
.You
takeverygoodcar eofme.I 'mtheonewhogot
aproblem Ihat ethi ssituationIwi shthingscan
gobackt owhatuset obe.Youar epregnant
babyy oushoul dn'tbet akingcar eofagr own
assman.I '
mt heonewhoshoul dbepamper i
ng
andspoilingy ou.Iwantt hisnight maretobe
overKat.Iwannaf eel y
ouandmakel ovetoyou.
Iwannaspoi landpampery ou.Iwannawake
youupwi t
habr eakf astandcookf oryou.I
wannadr ivey outoschool andf etchyou.I
wannapi cky ouwheny ouf allasleepwhi l
ewe
watchmov iesandl ayyouonourbed.Iwanna
bathyouandr uby ourf eet.Iwanna”Hebur st
i
ntohear twr enchingsobst hatkil
ledmysoul
mill
ionti
mes.
Me:“Iknowbabybuty ouwi llal
lyouneeddois
tohav efaitht
hatyouwillbealri
ght.Don'
tal
l
ow
thi
ssi t
uationtodest
royuspl easestop
manhandl ingmeandshout ingatme.Idon't
needmor estr
essI'
m pregnantletalonet
obe
physicalabusedbyyou.Weneedt ogeta
professi
onalsomebodythatwi
l
lhel
pyou
throughoutt
hisdi
ff
icul
tmoment”
PK:“I
m sor r
yfortr
eatingyouli
ketr
ashy oudon't
deservethisIpromiseIwill
neverever
physi
callyandemot ional
l
yabusey ou.Idon'
t
thi
nktalkingtoastrangerwil
lhel
pIr at
hertal
k
toyou”
Me:
“Butyoudon'
ttal
ktomey
oushutmeout
.A
t
her
apistwil
lhel
pyou”
PK:“
Iwil
lst
opshutt
ingy
ououtIpr
omi
seno
st
rangerpl
ease”
Me:“
ButIsti
ll
thi
nkaprofessi
onal
wil
lhel
pyou
deal
withthi
spredi
cament.Promi
semethat
youwil
lthi
nkabouti
tat
least”
PK:“
Ipromi
se”Helif
tedmyheadupt ofacehim
andwipedmytears“I
m sorr
ysthandwasami ”I
nodded“Pl
easegetmemywheel chairIwill
go
maketeawithhoneytoeasethepainony our
thr
oat”
Me:“
Don'tworr
ymylov
eIwil
lmakei
tmy
sel
f
yousai
dy ouwantt
opee”
PK:“Yeah”Iroll
edoutofbedandpul l
edar obe
thenwor esleeper
s.Iwheel
edhi swheel chai
r
nexttot hebed.Ihelpedhi
m sitont he
wheelchairthenhewheeledhimsel ftothe
bathroom whileImakethebed.Hecameback
andhel pedmewi ththebedmaki ng.“Baby”
Me:
“Mmh”
PK:“
Thanky
ouforbei
ngherewit
hmeev en
aft
erIgi
veyour
easonsnott
o”Isatdownon
thebedashewasonhiswheel
chairi
nfrontof
me
Me:
“Il
ovey
ouwi
thmyhear
tandsoul
baby
.”
TheloveIhav ef orhim makemeweakand
vul
nerable.Ileanedov erandki
ssedhim he
deepenedt hekisssqueezingmybr eastI
moanedoutofpl easur
e.Hishandwentdown
andpartedmyl egsImoanedasher ubbedmy
thr
obbingcl i
twithhi st
humb
PK:“Iwannahaveyouf orbr eakfast”Hespread
myl egstothei
rut
mostext ensionandst uffhi
s
facebetweenmyt highsIbal ancewi t
hmy
elbows.Hesuckedhar donmycl i
tIfeltt
heheat
undermyf eethedrovehist oungei nandoutof
mynunIscr eamedi npleasur egrindi
nghis
tongue
Me:
“Aaahh.
..
baaaaby
”
HewentdeeperanddeeperIgr oanedwidl
yas
sweetspamst ookovermywhol ebodyIroll
ed
myey esint
omyheadmyt oescurl
ed“Ohh
Dlakadl
aaaaah”Icoll
apsedonthebedwi t
hmy
backhesuckedmyj uices.Damnthewasan
amazingorgasm ever.
PK:
“Baby
”
Me:“
Mh”Iwasst i
l
lcatchi
ngmybreathmylegs
weresti
ll
shaking.Ipr
obedmy sel
fupwit
hmy
el
bowsandl ookedathim“ Damnthatwasan
amazingorgasm ever
”
PK:
“Damnt
hatwaswhol
egl
assofdel
i
cious
j
uice”Igi
ggl
edandsatupst
rai
ghtbef
ore
ki
ssinghi
m.
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”
PK:
“Il
ovey
oumi
l
li
ont
imes”
Me:“Iwill
gor unusabath”Ist
ooduphe
spankedmybut tIgi
ggl
edasIwal kedtothe
bathroom.Icamebackandhel pedhim outof
hi
spj s.Wewentt otakeabathtogether
.Aft
er
hygieneprocesswegotdressedthenIwentt o
makebr eakfastforuswhi
lesi
ppingont eawit
h
honey .
PK:
“If
eel
sobadt hatI
'
mther
easonf
ort
hat
markonyourneck”
Me:“
I..
.”Thei
nter
com cutmeshor
t.Iatt
endedi
t.
“
It
sy ourmotherdi
dyouknowshewi l
lcome?”
PK:
“NoIdi
dn'
tknow”
Me:“
HowdoIlookshoul
dIgoandchange”I
f
ixedmysel
f
PK:
“Rel
axmyl
ovemom doesntbi
tej
ustgoand
coverthatmar
kot
her
wisey
oul
ookper
fect
.My
beauti
fulwi
fe”
Me:
“Ar
eyousur
e?”
PK:“
Whydoyoucarehowdoy oul
ookinfr
ontof
heryouar
emywifenother
s.Youhavetol
ook
goodforme”
Me:“
She'
syourmotherbaby.
..
youknowwhat
youwil
lnev
erunder
stand”Herai
sedhisbr
ow
Me: “
Attendy
ourmother”Iwenttothebedroom
andt ookascar
fthenwrappeditaroundmy
neck.Iwentbacktothekit
chen.“SawbonaMa”
(Greeti
ngsMa)
shesmi
l
edsweet
lyandcamet
ohuggedme
Mr
sM:
“Hel
l
omychi
l
dhowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
m goodhowi
smot
her
”
MrsM:“
Imfi
nehowismygr
anddaught
er”she
br
ushedmytummy
Me:
“Besi
deswaki
ngmei
nthemi
ddl
eofni
ght
wi
thmassi
veki
cksshei
sfi
ne”shel
aughed
MrsM:“Ican'
twai
ttohol
dher
.Howi
smyson
t
reat
ingyou”
Me:
“Hei
str
eati
ngmewel lMama”Ilookedat
Pkwhosmi
ledsheepi
shl
y“Breakf
asti
sready
Mamayoucanjoi
nus”
Mr sM:“
Itssmell
sdivi
ne”Isett
het abl
ethenwe
satdown.Isaidgracel
oltr
uthbet ol
dIain't
thoseprayi
ngtypesbefor
eeati
ng.Youshoul d
nevergi
v eumamazelasomethi
ngbadt ot al
k
aboutyou.Weat eoveraconversati
on“When
i
st hebi
gday ”
PK:
“11t
hOct
obermywi
fe'
sbi
rt
hday
”
MrsM:“Thatissobeaut
if
ul.Iwenttoseeyour
f
athery
esterdayhewanttoseey ouson”
PK:
“Whi
chf
ather
?Myf
atheri
slongdead”
Mr
sM:
“Hewantt
oapol
ogi
se.
..”
PK:
“Iwantnot
hingt
hatgott
odowi
ththatman
Mama.Hewant edt
okil
lmeandmydaughter
.
Hei
scr
uel
”
Mr
sM:
“Hei
sremor
sef
uly
ouknowhe.
..
”
PK:“Isai
dnodammi t!
”Hebangedthet
abl
e
hardcausingustojumpabit“Il
ostmy
appetit
e!”Hewheel
edhimsel
fout
Me:
“I
m sorr
yaboutthatMamaheisshor
t
t
emperedeversi
ncehesatont
hatchai
r”
MrsM:“
It
sokaybabyIt
hinkIal
sopushedt
oo
har
dIt
ssti
ll
earl
ydays.
”
Me:“YesIwil
lgocheckonhim”Ist
oodupand
wenttolookforhim.Hewasinthelounge
watchingTV.“Baby”Hel
ookedatme
PK:“
Im sorr
yforlashingoutli
kethat..
come
her
e”Iwentt ositonhislap“IhatethatmanI '
m
i
nthiswheelchairbecauseofhim.Ifhedi dn'
t
i
nvolvedhimselfwit
ht hatwit
chdoct orIwil
lbe
abl
etowal k.Lookwhathedi dtome?Toushe
canrotinhellf
orallIcare!
”
Me:
“Idon'
tbl
amet
hewayy
ouf
eel
babybut
don'
ttakeoutyourangert
owar
dsy
ourmom.
Shecaresaboutyou.
”
PK:
“I
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
omyl
ove”
Me:“Iwill
gocal
lherandyouwi
llapol
ogiset
o
her.Howaboutyoutwospendsomet i
me
togetherIwi
l
lcookforyout
wo”
PK:“
Okayst handwasami”Heheldmyfaceand
ki
ssedme“ Il
oveyouNkosist
handi
le
Khethokuhl
eMngomezulu”Ikissedhi
m
passionat
ely.
Me:“
Thandanami”(l
ovey
out
oo)“Ist
oodup
andwenttogethi
smeds.
PK:
“Thesemedsar
enothel
pingbaby
”
Me:“Youshouldbepati
entsthandwasami”I
madesur ehetakethem andwenttothe
ki
tchen.Ifoundhi
sMamawashi ngdi
shes.
“Mamat hat'
smyjob”
MrsM:“
Nobabyyoucan'
tov
erwor
ky our
sel
fIt
mustbehar
dtaki
ngcar
eofmyson.Youneed
t
obet
akencar
eofy
our
sel
faswel
l
”
Me:
“Dontwor
ryMamaIgott
his”
Mr
sM:
“Icanmov
einwi
thy
ouguy
stohel
pyou”
Me:
“That
'snotabadi
deaIwi
l
ltal
ktoy
ourson”
Mr
sM:
“Okay
”
Me:“
Yoursoni
swai
ti
ngf
ory
ouIwi
l
ltakeov
er
her
e”
MrsM: “
Okaysi
sdon' toverworkyour
selfpl
ease.
I
'm nottel
l
ingyouhowt orunyourhousehold
mychildbutIt
hinkitwillbestf
oryoutohirea
hel
per.Youcan'tbeov erworki
ngyoursel
fmy
l
ove”
Me: “
Iwil
lthi
nkaboutt hat”Shesmil
edand
walkedaway .Icarr
iedonwi t
hthedi
shesand
cleanedthehousewhi lemypotswereonthe
stove.Iwasmaki ngdumpl i
ngandmuttonstew.
Icouldhearthem talki
ngandlaughi
ngthat
war msmyhear t.LaterIdi
shedupandserved
them.
MrsM:“ThankyouMakot i
mmmhy
ouknow
yourwayaroundtheki
tchen.
Me:
“It
ryMama.
”
PK:
“Younotgonnaj
oinus”
Me:
“I
'm cr
avi
ngf
ori
skobhoI
mmagoandbuyi
t”
PK:“Okaybaby
”Iwentt
ogetmycarkey
sand
thenleft
.OnmywayIcall
edMama
Mom:
“Baby
”
Me:
“Hel
l
oMamahowar
eyou”
Mom:
“I
mfi
newhatabouty
ousweet
hear
t”
Me:“
Im alsof
ineMommyIwantt
ohearmy
son'
svoice”
Mom:
“Okay
..
.Lami
!
”
“
Go!
”
Mom:“
Yourmom wantt
otal
ktoyou”Ihear
d
someshuf
fl
ingst
henati
nyvoi
cefol
l
owed
“Mommy”
Me:
“Babyhowar
eyou?”
Lami:
“I
mf i
neMamaImi
ssy
ouanddaddywhen
arey
ouf et
chi
ngme?
”
Me:“
Wewil
lfet
chyoutomor
rowmybaby
.What
ar
eyoudoi
ngther
e?”
Lami
:
“Pl
ayi
ngwi
thSbani
”
Me:
“OkaymyboyIl
ovey
ouokay
”
Lami
:
“Lov
eyout
ooKi
tKatcanIt
alkt
odaddy
”
Me:
“I
m nothomebabybutIwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
t
henyouwil
ltal
ktohi
m”
Lami
:
“OkayIl
ovey
ou”
Me:“
Ilov
eyoumoresweet
hear
t”t
her
ewer
e
someshuff
li
ngs
Mom:
“Babygi
rl
”
Me:
“Ar
eyoual
lgood?
”
Mom:“
Yeahbabydon'
tst
ressal
otPhakamani
wi
ll
befine”
Me:
“EhMamaI
m dr
ivi
ngIl
ovey
ou”
Mom:
“Il
ovey
out
oomychi
l
d”
Ipul
ledof
fandsteppedoutoft
hecart
hen
wenttomyfav
ori
tefastf
oodshop.
“Kat
”afami
l
iarv
oicesai
d.It
urnedandl
ooked
ather
Me:
“Lat
oyalongti
me”Wehugged.Thel
astt
ime
wesaweachotherwast
hatdayshewal
konus
wi
thTbose.
Toy
a:“
Yeahl
et'
snotgot
her
ecozImi
ssedy
ou
somuch”
Me:
“Imi
ssedy
out
oo”Il
i
ed
Toya:
“Letsi
tdownandcat chupifyouarenotin
ahurry”Wellsincefi
ancéishavi
ngbonding
sessi
onwi t
hhi smom mi ghtaswellchi
l
labit.
Weor der
edandsatdown.“ Youlookbeauti
ful
heyyouaregl owing”
Me:
“Hubbyi
str
eat
ingmewel lmydear
”Isai
d
wav
ingmyhandsothatshecanseemyrock
Toy
a:“
Wowt
hatabeaut
if
ulr
ocki
sitf
rom PK”
Me:
“Yeahwhatdoy
oumeani
sitf
rom PK”
Toya:
“Wowhei sagrandguyaf
terhef
oundout
youfuckedTbose”
Me:
“Comeonnowandhowdi
dyouknowhe
f
oundout
”
Toy
a:“
I'
m happyf
ory
ouf
ri
end”shef
akeda
smi
le
Me:
“Youdon'
tsoundhappyt
hough”
Toy
a:“
Don'
tbesi
l
ly”Ourf
oodcameweat
e.
Me:
“Wher
eisLuy
oloandy
ourson”
Toya:
“Mysonisathomewi
tht
henannyLuy
olo
Idon'
tknow”
Me:
“Whatdoy
oumeany
oudon'
tknow”
Toy
a:“
Wedi
vor
ced”
Me:
“OhI
'
m sor
ry”
Toy
a:”
li
fe”
Me:
“Whathappened?
”
Toya:
“Hel
eftmef
orahi
ghschool
gir
lcany
ou
bel
i
evehim”
Me:
“WowI
'
m sor
ryf
ri
end”
Toya:
“Kar
maheyf
orbr
eaki
ngTbose'
shear
t
howishe?”
Me:“
Heisfi
neandhappywi
thmysi
ster
Sqal
okuhl
e”
Toy
a:“
Ohhemov
edon”
Me:
“Geemanwhatdi
dyouexpect
ed”
Toya:
“Youguy
sli
keshar
ingt
heDneh”shesai
d
l
aughing
Me:“Suyaphaphamanj e”Wecarri
edoncat chi
ng
upafterthatweex changednumber sandpart
ed.
IcheckmyphoneIhadt onsofmissedcal
ls
fr
om myf i
ancé.IuppedmyspeedwhenIgot
homeInot i
cedthathismom' scarisnott
here
soIassumeshel eft
.Irushedi
nsidethemusic
waspl ayi
ngloudly.
Me: “
Baby”Iwenttothelounget heweretwo
glassesofwineandoneofwhi skey .“
Love”I
switchedofthemusi candwentt othebedroom.
Thedoorwaswi deopen.Icouldntbeli
evemy
eyesPKwasl y
ingont opofthebedsome
nakedgirlwassitt
ingonhisfacemoani ngwhil
e
theotheronewassucki nghisflacci
dmanhood.
Tearsblur
redmysi ghtmywhol ebodyshi v
ered
Gir
l:
“Heybooyouwannajoinus”Thegir
lgot
awayfrom hi
smout
ht heyall
lookedatme
PK:
“Ohy
ouback”Cany
oubel
i
evet
hisguy
Me:
“I
sthatal
lyougonnasayPK”
PK:“
Gobackt
othatf
uckboyy
ouar
ecomi
ng
fr
om andl
eav
emealone!
!”
Me:
“Whatf
uckboyPKIwas.
..”
PK:“
Leavemeal oneyoucoldunat
tract
ivehuge
bi
tch!Ladi
essorryaboutthaty
oucancar r
yon”
Iwalkedoutmykneeswer ewobbl
ingtears
bl
indingmysight.Iwentt
oourbedroom and
curl
edmy sel
fint
oabal lonthebedandcr i
ed
mylungsout.Lordpleaseinterv
enedIbel
ieve
youaretheonewhopai redusourlovestory
waswr i
tt
enbyy ourangelspleasegi
veme
str
engthtodealwiththi
s.
[
06/
02,
11:
07]W:
82
THANDOKUHLE
•
“Don'
tstop”Hel
ookedatmewi
thhi
snowdar
k
blueeyes.
Logan:
“Idon'
twantt
orushy
oubaby
”
Me:“
Iwanty
ouLoganIwantt
ofeel
youi
nsi
de
ofme”
Logan:“Wear enotinahur r
ymylove”Hegetup
from me.Ihuffedinwardlywhatt
hefucki
s
wr ongwiththi
sboy .Whot ur
nawayapussyli
ke
thatcan'thegetitthatIwanthi
m mxm!
Loml ungumadodaay .
Me:
“Takemehomenow”
Logan:
“It
houghtyousai
dyouwantt
owat
ch
danceacademy”
Me:“
Iwil
lwat
chi
tsomeot
hert
imeIshoul
dget
goi
ng”
Logan:
“Ar
eyouokay”Reall
ybraarey
ouf orr
eal
ofcour
seI'
m notokayI'
mf ucki
ngwet!
Me:“YeahIpromisedmom t ohelpherwit
h
baking”Il
i
edobv i
ously.St
ayingwit
hthisguyis
tort
ureheishell
ahoty ougetwetbyst ar
ingat
him.ImightaswellleavebeforeIr
apethi
sguy .
Logan:
“Okay”Wegotdressedthenhedr
oveme
home.“Ihadagreatdaywithy
oumyl ov
e”
Me:
“Metoonomaunginci
shei
nsundu”I
mumbl
edthelastpar
t
Logan:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Me:“Il
ovey
out
oo”Il
eanedcl
oserweki
ssed
deeply
.
Logan:
“I
m gonnami
ssy
ou”
Me:“Imissy oualready”Hekissedmyforehead
thenIsteppedoutofhi scar.Hehootedonce
anddrov eoffthegat ewasopensoIdidn'thave
tousemyr emot e.Mj wasstari
ngatmewi th
thi
slook.Ididn'tseehimtodayaf t
erwhat
happened“ HeyMj ”
Mj:
“Youkissi
ngboysnowi
nfr
ontofmypar
ent
s
house”hesaidf
ir
mly
Me:“NotnowMj please”Iwalkedpassedhi
m he
grabbedmyar m andpull
edmecl osetohim
beforeIcoul
dbreathhisli
pssmashedont o
mine.Ipushedhim andslappedhim“Whatthe
fuck!
”
Mj
:
“Im ki
ssi
ngy
ou!
”
Me:
“Why
!”
Mj:
“CozIloveyouokay!If
uckenlov
eyou
ThandoIcan'tsupr
essmyf eel
i
ngsany
more!
!”
Ipunchedhim andr
ani
nsi
dethehousegoingto
mybedr oom.Iwassof
ucki
ngpissedwhatis
wrongwi ththeseguyshuh.Loganr efusedto
fuckmet hent her
e'sthi
sf oolMj howlonghav e
Ibeeny earni
nghi mtosayt hi
sIlovedhi mt he
fi
rstti
meIsawhi m buthewasnoti nter
ested
i
nsteadheshowedmehi st housandgi rl
fr
iends
breaki
ngmyhear tmor enowt hatIhav emov ed
onhei sgonnat el
lmet hisshit!AhhhI
screamedi nfrust
rati
ons.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
MygoodLor dwhatishappeningt
omewhat
haveIturnedto?Ican'
trecogni
zet
his
aggressi
veabusivepersonIhavetur
nedi
nto.I
getangryoutofnowhere
I'
m sof uckingangryatever
ythi
ngIwishIwas
neverbor n.Ihat
emyl if
eIhatethi
ssit
uati
on.
I'
mt r
yingbel i
eveyoumet obepositi
vebutI
can'
thel pmy sel
f.
Every
timewhenIt ouchmyKi tKatIcanfeel
her
bodyreactingtomyt ouchbutIcan'treachto
thatl
evelofintimacyitsdri
vesmecr azy.I
knowpr egnantwomenar ealwayshornyandit
doesn'
thelpt hatKatlovesex.
Ifeelli
keI'
m goingtolosehertot hatbastard
Mzwakhe.Igetj eal
ouswhenIl ookathow
beauti
ful
,glowingandsexyshei s.This
pregnancylovehernotthatsheisnott hose
thi
ngsabov ewithoutpr
egnancyl etmej ustsay
sheisextranow.
Seeinghercryi
nglikethatknowi ngthatI
'
mthe
onewhomanhandl edhermakemeangr yat
my sel
fandhatemy self
.Idon'tknowwhat
happenedIjustloseit.Ilookedatherasshe
walkawayt hewayshewal ks,theywayshe
dresses,
theywayherbodywasbui l
toutofthi
s
wor l
d.
Shei
sbeyondper
fect
!Iwishshecanst
aynext
t
omealwaysandneverl
eavemysight
.These
hornyf
uckboyswi
llt
ryt
hei
rlucksOhGodt
hen
shewil
lreal
i
zewhatausel
essassmanIam
anddumpme.
Icanthelpbutfeelshar
ppai
nofjeal
ousyi
nmy
heart
.Whysuddenl yshehavetogobuyi
skobho
i
nsteadofeatingwithusImeanwhowouldnot
eatherfood.Greatcookwouldbean
underst
atement.
“
Youloveher
”Mom snappedmeoutofmy
t
hought
s
Me:
“YeahMama”
Mom:“
Sheisabraveremarkabl
ewomanhol
d
ont
ohersondon'tl
ethergo”
myheartbr
okeint
opiecescozIknowthatI
'
m
dr
ivi
ngherawaybeli
evemethatnotwhatIwant
Me:
“IwontMom I
'
m goodasdeadwi
thouther
”
Mom:“YouknowIl ov
eSqalokuhl
esheisagreat
l
adybutIdon'tt
hinkshewouldhavedeal
twit
h
t
hissi
tuat
ion.Shemighthavenotlef
tyoubut
shewouldn'
tcopeatal
lwhil
eIssyi
skeepi
ngi
t
toget
herl
ikenothi
ngi
sgoingon”
Ismi
l
edt hatoneoft
hemi
l
li
onr
easonsIf
all
in
l
ovewit
hher .
Me:
“Yeaht
ruet
hat
”
Mom:“Mawakhel
omuzi gavemebackthe
busi
nessesI
m gonnaneedy oubabyy
ouknowI
knownothi
ngaboutbusiness”
Me:“Thatwhyyousendmetoschool
..butmom
Idon'tl
iket
hatyouar
ecluel
essi
neveryt
hing”
Mom:
“Ouch”
Me:“
Im sorr
yIdon'
tbl
ameyouIbl
amey
our
par
ents.
..
tel
lmewhatdoyouli
ke”
Mom:
“I
m wayt
oool
dnowmyson”
Me:“
Ohcomeonmom don'
tyouwi
sht
obel
i
ke
MrsSit
hol
e..
..
”
Mom:
“Canwechanget
hist
opi
c”
Me:
“Comeonmom.
..
”
Mom: “
Yinwhysuddenl
yyoucar
ethatI
'
m
i
ll
it
erat
eanddumb?DoIembar r
assyou
Phakamanihuh!
!”sher
oared
Me:
“NoMamaI.
..
”
Mom:“Nowy
out
hinky
ouar
ebet
tert
henme
huh!
!”
Me:
“Ma.
.”
Mom: “Nx!
”shestoodupandleft
!Icalledher
outbutsheignor
edme.OkayIdi dn'
tmeant o
makeherf eel
li
kethatIt
houghtnowt hatdadis
i
njailshecanbehersel
fyouknowst op
dependingondad.
Aft
erallt
hesebusinesseswer edad'
swhat
abouther?Whatdoesshewant ?Isi
ghed
heavi
lyandwatchedmov ies.Timewentbymy
Kit
Katsti
llhav
en'
tcomeback.
Whati
stakingherl
ongshesaidshei sgoi
ngt
o
buyi
skobhoorwasshelying?Ical
l
edherbut
shedi
dn'
tanswerherphone.Dammi tshei
s
wit
hhim obvious!Mywhol ebodyshi
ver
edrage
andhurttookover.Ical
l
edoneofmybusi ness
associ
atewhoownabr othel
Hi
m:“
Phakamani
myman”
Me:
“Hel
l
omymanhowar
eyou”
Hi
m:“
All
iswel
lmybr
oyoursi
de”
Me:
“Can'
tcompl
ainIneedaf
avour
”
Hi
m:“
Ohy
eah”
Me:
“YeahIneedt
wol
adi
esnowIwi
l
ldoubl
e
t
ri
plet
heamount”
Hi
m:“
Tocomet
oyourhouse?
”
Me:
“Yeahbr
ahotones”
Hi
m:“
Thatwi
l
lcosty
oubr
a”
Me:
“Ohcomeonhav
eyouf
orgotwhoam I
”
Hi
m:“
Okayf
ine”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lsendt
headdr
esst
hanky
ouman”
Hi
m:“
Okayt
akecar
eoft
hem Idon'
twanta
scr
atchont
hem”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbegent
ly”
WehungupIsendhi mtheaddressand
decidedtowaitforthem wi
thabottleof
whiskey.Mymi ndkeepplayi
ngimagesofKat
andMzwakhef ucki
ngIdrankglassafterglass
tr
yingtoavoidtheimages.Atlonglastthey
arr
ivedIatt
endedt hem “
Ladi
esany thi
ngt o
dri
nk”
Gi
rl1:
“Wi
nepl
easet
oli
ghtupt
hemood”
Me: “
Makey our
selfcomfor
tabl
e”Theypour
ed
glassesofwineforthemsel
vesthenwewentto
thelounge
Gi
rl2:
“Yougotanimmacul
atebeaut
if
ulhouse
doyouhaveawife”
Me:“Stopaskingquesti
onsanddowhaty ou
areherefor”Theonegav emealapdancewhi l
e
theotheronewaski ssi
ngme.Wet ookthi
st o
thebedroom theyundressedmeandundressed
themselves.Iwassl oshedalr
eadybutIcouldn'
t
feelanyerecti
ons.Iwant edt
ostopcoznot hing
i
shappeni ngbutt heimageskeptplay
ing.AsI
waseat i
ngt heotherone'spussywhil
ethe
otheronewassucki ngmydick.
Gir
l:
“Heybooyouwannaj
oinus”Theonet hat
wasonmyf acemovedsothatIcansee.To
seehermadememor eangry
.
Me:
“Ohy
ouback”
Kat:
“I
sthatal
lyougonnasayPK”t
ear
s
gl
ist
enedinhereyes
Me:
“Gobacktot
hatf
uckboyy
ouar
ecomi
ng
f
rom andl
eav
emealone!
!”
Kat
:“
Whatf
uckboyPKIwas.
..”
Me:“Leavemealoneyoucoldunat
tract
ivehuge
bit
ch!Ladiessor
ryaboutt
hatyoucancarryon”
shewal kedout
Gi
rl2:
“Butwehavebeendoingthi
smor
ethen
15minuteyouar
esti
llf
lacci
d”
Me:“HeyheynowIhavetotel
lyouhowt
odo
yourjobi
vuse!
!”(
geti
tup!
)
Gi
rl2:
“Ihav
e..
.”
Me:“
Ngit
heivuseeee!
!!
”(Isai
dgeti
tup!
!!
!)I
sl
appedher
Gir
l1:
“Thatit'sweareleavi
ngwecan'
tbe
bul
li
edbyy ou!Mawungav ukel
wasenzenj
ani
thi
nafuseg!”(Ifyoucan'
tgeti
tupwhatshoul
d
wedof ucky ou!)
Theygotdr
essed
Me:“Hai
sukaaay ouaretheunat tr
act
iveones
getoutofmyhouse! !
!”Theyr ushedout.Iwas
soli
vidandhur t
.Mywheel chairwassof arfr
om
thebed.Ineededtopee.It r
iedtogetupf rom
bedbutIfalldownandscr eamedi nanguish.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
It
snoteasyt oletgooft heoney oulove
especial
lywheny ouknowt hattheiract
ions
mani f
estthedif
ficul
ti
est heyar egoingthrough.
PKisgoingt hr
oughadi fficultt
ime.Imaynot
knowexacl ywhathei sgoi ngthroughbutIcan
feelandimagineit.
Asifit
'snotenoughthathecan'
twalkhecan't
geti
tup.Hei sindenialt
oacceptt
hesituat
ion
hi
smanhoodwasst il
lfl
acci
dbutheis
convi
ncedthatI'
mt heonewhoiscold,
unatt
ract
iveandhuge.
Hecan' tdealwiththesit
uat
ionheislosingit.I
feelhispai
nIthinkit'
sli
ketobeinf
erti
le.You
feell
ikeyouareal essofawoman.I fIl eave
him whoisgoingt otakecar
eofhim.Heneed
helpnotmet urni
ngmybackonhi m atleastnot
now.
Ican'
tgi
veupnowwhenIhaven'
ttr
iedenough
tofi
ndhel
pforhim.Hei
sdi
ffi
cul
t,i
mpossibl
e,
abusi
vebutIst
il
ll
ovehi
m.Thi
sit
sjustaphase
mychocolat
ecakewill
beback.Ineedtobe
st
rongforhi
m,forustopul
lthrough.Ourlov
e
i
sbeingtest
edyetagai
nandwewi llsur
viv
ethi
s
st
orm.
Iroll
edoutofbedanddr aggedmy sel
ftot
he
bathroom.Ilookedmy sel
finthemirr
ormy
eyeswer ebl
oodshotredandswol l
en.I
splashedwateronmyf aceandr i
nsedmy
mout hthenwenttothebedroom.
Itookmycarkey sanddr ov
etoZimkithamy
therapist.SheopenedthegateformeI
manoeuv redmycarinsideofheryar
dand
parkedi tther
e.Igotoutofthecarandwal
ked
toherasshewasal readywaiti
ngformeonthe
door .
Me:“I
m sor
ryt
ocomeuni nvi
tedIknowwedon'
t
haveasessi
ontodaybutIneededsomeonet
o
tal
kto”Iwasal
readyi
ntears.Iwentt
oher
openedarmsshewrappedherarmsaroundme
Zi
m:“
Any
timesi
swhenev
ery
ouneedmeIwi
l
l
al
waysbether
e”Webothwal
kedt
othel
ounge
andsatont
hecouch.“
Tal
ktome”
Me:“PKi
sdri
vi
ngmecr azyZim.Heislosi
ngit
hedoesn'
twanttoaccepthiscondit
ionhehad
becomethi
sanimalthatIcan'
trecogni
ze”
Zim:
“Ani
mal?Doesthatmeanhebeaty ouup”I
l
ookeddownt wi
ddl
i
ngmyf inger
s“Ican'thel
p
youNdil
eify
oucan'
ttell
me”
Me:
“Wel
lnotr
eal
l
yhesl
appedmeandst
rangl
ed
me”
Zim:“ThatisabusebabeIunder
standhei
s
goingthroughar ought
imebuthehavenori
ght
tohityou”
Me:“Mychocol
atecakewi
l
lnev
erhi
tme
i
ntenti
onal
l
yZim”
Hergirl
fr
iendZoewalkedinandgavemet he
nasti
estlookever
.Idon'
tknowwhyshedoesn't
l
ikemeorshet hinkIwil
ltakehergi
rl
fr
iendwho
doesntknowmyhear tbelongtoPKandI '
m
st
rai
ght
.
Zoe:
“Heybaby
”Shebentandki
ssedZi
m'sl
i
ps
“Hey
”
Me:
“Hal
o”
Zoe:
“CanIj
oiny
ouguy
s”
Zi
m:“
Ha.
ababygot
hisconv
ersat
ioni
spr
ivat
e”
Zoe:
“It
houghtwedon'
tbr
ingwor
khomemos”
Zim:“
Don'tst
artZoegomakeyoursel
fusef
uli
n
theki
tchen”Zoehuff
edandwalkedout.
I
'
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
”
Me:
“Nopr
obl
em”
Zim:“
Youhav etounderstandthatri
ghtnowhe
i
snoty ourchocol
atecaket hatyouknowand
I
'm afr
aidinyourcondi
tionyoushouldn'
tbe
deali
ngwithsuch.Doeshehav esomeoneto
tal
kto?”
Me:
“Her
efuset
ohav
eone”
Zi
m:“
Thent
hewon'
tbeawayf
orwar
d.Heneed
toadmitfi
rstt
hatheneedhel pthatisthef i
rst
stepandit
'sapityyoucan'tforcehimt osee
thatheneedhelp.Letmeseey ourneck”I
unwrappedthescarfshewi nced“Firstitwasa
clap,t
henast ranglewhatnext ?Thisi sthe
questi
onyoushoul dbeaskingy ourselfNdil
e.”
Me:
“Soy
ousayImustl
eav
ehi
m?”
Zim:“
Ican'
ttell
youwhatt odoy ouar
etheone
whoshouldmaket hatdecisionandwhenyou
do.ThinkaboutthefactthatPKdoesn'
twant
tobehelped,heisbeati
ngy ouupandthebaby
youarecarry
ing”
Me:“Il
ovehi
m Zi
m Ican'tj
ustwat
chhi
m suf
ferI
wannabetheref
orhim heneedme”Tear
s
st
reameddownmyf ace
Zim:“
Iknowbabybuthi sbehav i
ori
stoomuch
foronetohandl e.AbuseisabuseNdi l
eno
matterwhaty ouaregoingt hr
oughandi tall
star
tslowlythenextmi nuteyouwakeupi nthe
hospit
al.Thatisthelastthi
ngy ouneedright
now.
”
Me:
“IknowZi
m butIcan'
tj
ustgi
veuponhi
m”
Zi
m:“Youcan'
tfor
cehi
mifhedoesn'
twantt
o
behelped”
Me:“
Cominghereseem t
obeawast eofti
me
youarenotgi
vi
ngmeasol ut
ionZi
mkitha!
”
Zim:
“Youwantmetotel
lyouwhatyoutohear
Ndil
eIcan'
tdot
hatIhavetobehonestwi
th
you”
Me:
“Mxm goodby
e!”Ist
oodup
Zi
m:“
Ndi
l
ewai
t”Shegr
abbedmyar
m
Me:“Ayfuckof
fmaan!!
”Iwasshaki
ng
uncontr
oll
abl
etear
sfal
li
ngdownmyf ace.
Wi
thi
nasecondshewasi
nfr
ontofme
Zim:“Youneedt ocalm downIcan'tl
etyougo
whil
ey ouar eangryespecial
lywhenyouwil
lbe
dri
ving.breathinandout”Ididasshesaid
“Again”Ididitagai
n“Nev erunder
est
imate
thesebreathi
ngexerci
sest
heyr
eal
lyhel
p.”I
chuckleditwasreal
l
yhelpi
ng“Howareyou
feel
ingnow”
Me:“
Abitbett
er”Shewi pedmyt ear
sandpull
ed
metoherarms.PrincesskickedmakingZi
mt o
gi
ggleandpull
edout
Zi
m:“
Heeyy
ou.
.canI
”
Me:
“Sur
e”Shecrouchedandbr
ushedmy
t
ummywhilebabytalki
ng.“
Sheli
keyou”
Zi
m:“
Dur
hwhowoul
dn'
t”Ir
oll
edmyey
es
“
Howcosy
”ThatwasZoe.
Zi
m st
ood
Me:
“Zi
mthanky
ouf
ory
ourt
ime”
Zi
m:“
Anyt
ime.Icancomebyandt
ryt
otal
kto
hi
mthenseewhathappens”
Me:
“Thanky
ousomuchZi
m”Ihuggedher
Zoe:
“Enoughnowy
oucango”Jesust
hisbi
tch!
Ibi
dfar
ewel
landl
eft
.If
eltbet
teraf
tert
alki
ng
toZim.Imj ustgladIhav eheri
nmyl i
fecoz
tr
uthbet ol
di nsituat
ionli
kethi
sy oucan'
ttal
k
withyourfami l
ycozt heywil
lhavetochoose
sides.
Idon'
twantmyf amilytohatePKcozIstil
llove
hi
mt hatwil
lnotsitwellwi
thme.WhenIgot
homeIwentt othebedroom myheartthudded
asIapproachedthedoorIsawhiml yi
ngont he
fl
oornaked.Irantohim hemessedhimselfin
bothdepart
ment sIf
eltneedl
espier
cinginmy
heart
.
Me:“
Baby”Ikneel
eddownandtr
iedtogethi
m
upawayf r
om hi
speeandshi
t.“
Im sor
ryI
wasn'
tthere”
PK:“Ki
tKat
”heblinkedl
azi
lyhewassodr
unk
“Getawayfrom me”heslurr
ed
Me:
“Thef
loori
scol
dyouwi
l
lcat
chf
lueIneed
t
ocleany
ouup”
PK:“
Whyhuh?Aft
erwhatIdi
dtoyouIdon'
t
deser
vey
ouletmebeandwal kawayKat
.Thi
s
i
snott hel
if
eIwantedforyouukuphi
phana
nendodaendal
a”helaughedtear
scomingout
ofhiseyes
Me:“I
m sor
ryIwasn'
tther
ethi
swoul
dnthav
e
happened”
Igotupandwentt othebathr oom.Ir anabat h
forhi m andt ookat oil
etpapert henwal ked
backt othebedr oom.Iwi pedhi m cl eanand
wentt othet oil
etflushedt heusedt oiletpaper.I
walkedbackandgethi schairt henhel pedhi m
oni twhi chwasast ruggli
ngsi ncehewas
sloshedandheav ybuthewasassi st i
ngme.I
pushedhi mt ot hebat hroom wher eIbat hed
him whi lehekeptdozi ngof fandwaki ngup.
Afterhy gienepr ocessIhel pedhi m getdr essed
i
nhi spj st henpul l
edupcov ersont hebed.I
helpedhi m getint hencov eredhi m wi thcovers.
Wi t
hi namer esecondhewassnor ing.Ikissed
hisf oreheadandwhi speredt ear sr
unni ngdown
myf ace“ Ilovey ouchocol at
ecake”
•
NARRATED
•
MakhosazanaandLusandawer esti
llt
iedi
n
Spi
ro'
swar ehouse.Thei
rbodieswerenumb
duetobit
est heycoul
dn'
tfeel
bitesanymor
e.
JustasSpirowasor deredbyMrSheof fered
them bat
handbr oughtthem newcl
othes
makingsurethattheydon'tr
unawaynott hat
theywouldhavesucceeded.Thewarehouse's
securi
tyi
sveryti
ght.
Makhosazana:
“Thanky
ousomuchmyboynow
canwegetsomef oodwear
est
arvi
ng”
Spir
o:“
Youar el
uckyI '
minahappymoodt oday
”
Hewentt ogetpizzathathewasi nst
ruct
edby
MrSt obuyforthem.“ Enjoy
”Makhosazanaate
l
iketheworldisending.It
sclearnowthat
Thando'shugeappetiteshegotitfr
om her
motherbuttheynevergainwei ght
Lusanda:
“Idon'
twantfoodIwanttogetoutof
here.Hel
pusIwill
giveyou1mill
ion”Spi
ro
l
aughed
Spi
ro:
“I
'dsuggesty
oueatcozy
ouwi
l
lneed
st
rengt
h”
Makhosazana:
“Whatdoy
oumean?
”shesai
d
wi
thfoodinhermouth
Lusanda:
“Aysi
esmaanswal
l
owf
ir
stbef
orey
ou
tal
k!”
Makhosazanaswal
l
owed
Makhosazana:
“Thi
ssti
nki
ngatt
it
udeofyour
sis
whatgotushere.Mawakhel
omuziwoul
dhave
notpuni
shus!”
Lusanda:“
Youdon'
tknowMawakhel
omuzihei
s
worsethenIssy
!Onewayort
heotherwewoul
d
havepaid!”
Makhosazana:“
Ihopehewontdoworsethen
thi
scozIswearLusandaI'
m goi
ngtoki
ll
y ou!
Eveni
fhekillusIwil
lki
l
lyouinhel
l
!”
Lusandal
aughedoutloudl
ythatenraged
Makhosazanashesl
appedher“Youst ar
tedall
thi
sifonl
yyoulef
tmebur ymybabynoneof
thi
swouldhavehappened!Ihat
ey ouforusi
ng
me!”
Lusanda:
“I
t'
stool
atemydear
”
Makhosazana:
“Nxa!
”shecar
ri
edoneat
ingj
ust
t
henWakhewal kedin.
Wakhe:
“Hel
l
owomenar
eyoual
ri
ght
”hesai
d
l
aughi
ng
Lusanda:
“Getusoutofher
e!”
Wakhe:
“Whati
sther
ush”
Makhosazana:
“WakheI
'
m..
.”
Wakhe:
“Heydon'
tcal
lmeWakhe!
”
Makhosazana:“
ButIli
kecal
l
ingy
ouWakheand
i
tsoundbettercomingfr
om mymout
hthen
yourLi
we”
Wakhe:
“Don'
tpi
ssmeof
fMakhosazana!
!”
Makhosazana: “Damny ouar
esosexywheny ou
roaryour emindmet hatni
ghtwheny ouscr
eam
mynameOhKhosi umnandiKhosi
”Lusanda
burstintolaughterwhileWakheclenchedhi
s
j
aw.I fItwaspossi blehewouldhaverubbed
thatnight.
Lusanda:“WowIt hi
nkyoushoul
dconsider
yoursel
fluckyMawakhelomuziphela
Makhosazanawasgoodasav i
rgin”Thet
wo
womenbot hlaughed.
Makhosazana:“Icangav eity
oubet tertheny our
wife”shebit
eherl i
p“ Don'
tbeaf r
aidtoadmi tI
canseei ti
nyourey es”Wakhel ostithi
swi fe's
voiceechoedin“Letitbethef i
rstandlasty ou
hitawomanWakhe”hecont rol
ledhi mselfand
grabbedachairbeforesitt
inginfrontofthem.
Wakhe:
“Her
e”Hegav
eLusandadocument
s
Lusanda:
“Whatist
his”shesai
dpagi
ngt
hrough
thedocuments.
Wakhe:
“Readcan'
tyour
ead”Lusandar
ead
Lusanda:
“Ov
ermydeadbodyIai
n'
tgi
vi
ngup
wit
hmyasset s!
”
Wakhe:
“Ohyouwi
l
lnotunl
essi
fyoudon'
twant
t
obef r
ee”
Lusanda:
“ComeonMawakhel
omuziy
ouare
ri
chmor ethenmewhyy
ouwanttocl
eanme
outli
kethi
s!”
Wakhe:“
Mybabiessuff
eredLusandawhi lethey
shoul
dhavebeentakencar eof!Theclubis
gonnabeIssy
's,
Therestaurantit
sgonnahe
Thando'
sthehotel
andgar ageswillbe
Li
yabonga'
s”
Lusanda:“I
m notsi
gningupat hi
ngtothatl
i
ttl
e
brat
.Liyabongaisungratef
ulal
lsheknowsis
openinglegsandabortingbabi
es!
!”
Wakhel
aughed
Wakhe:
“I
tsf
unnythaty
ouuset
obel
i
keher
whenyouwerey
oung”
Lusanda:
“Thati
snott
rue!Idi
dn'
tchangedboy
s
l
i
kesocksandki
l
ledi
nnocentl
i
vesmi
na!
”
Wakhe:
“Kut
hiwauf
uzol
i
yandl
ulel
a”
Makhosazana:“
Atl
eastsheisst
il
lyourchi
l
dyou
wi
llgetaccessofever
ythi
ng”
Lusanda:
“Aggh!
”shesi
gnedt
hedocument
s
fur
iousl
y.
Wakhe:
“Thatwaseasy
.”Spi
rowal
kedi
nwi
th
t
hepoli
ce.“Taket
hem”
Makhosazana:
“Wher
ear
etheyt
aki
ngus?
”
Wakhe:
“Wher
eyoubel
ongt
ojai
l
”
Makhosazana:
“Whatno!
”
Lusanda:
“Youbast
ard!
”
Theywerecuf
fedwhi
l
etheyki
ckednonest
op
andscr
eaming
Wakhe:
“Enj
oy!”Hewav
edhi
shandl
aughi
ng
[
06/
02,
11:
10]W:
83
THANDOKUHLE
•
Howcanhedot hist
omehuhaf t
erall
thi
sti
me
Iwai
tedforhi
mt oseemenowhei sgonnat
ell
methatheloveme.Doeshereal
l
ylovemeor
hehatet
heideaofmedating?Myphonerang
i
twasdaddy
Me:
“Daddy
”
Dad:
“Babyhowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
mfi
nedaddy
”
Dad:
“Yousai
dyouarecomi
ngtodaywewaited
fory
ou.Yourmom ev
encookedyourf
avour
ite”
Me:
“Shei
snotmymom dad!
”
Dad:“
I'
m st
il
lyourf
ather
”That'
smydadf ory
ou
heisalway
scalm evenwhenthesi
tuati
on
requi
reshi
mt oscr
eam hisl
ungsout.
Me:“
Im sor
ryI'
m notf
eel
i
ngwel
ldaddyIwi
l
l
cometomorrow”
Dad:
“Okaysweet
nessImi
ssy
ouandwehav
e
newst
otel
lyou”
Ohnopl
easedon'
ttel
lmey
ouar
eget
ti
ng
mar
ri
ed
Me:
“Whati
sit
”
Dad:
“Tomor
rowbabyIhav
etogo”
Me:
“Okayby
e”
Dad:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Me:“Il
ovey
outoo”Wehungup.Thewasknock
onthedoor
.MommyQueenwal kedi
naft
erI
sai
dcomei n
Mom:
“Babydi
nneri
sready
”
Me:
“I
m nothungr
yMama”shewal
kedt
owar
ds
meandsatnextt
omestudyi
ngme
Mom: “
Youneversaynotofoodwhati
swrong
areyousi
ck”sheplacedherhandonmy
for
ehead“Yourt
emperatur
eisnormal
though”
Me:
“I
tsnotf
lue”
Mom:
“Thenwhati
sit
”Il
ookeddown“
Youcan
t
alkt
omeThando”
Me:
“I
mjustdownt
hatal
l
”
Mom:“I
sitLogan?WhatdidhedosothatIcan
gr
atehi
sballs”Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
aughthelook
onherf
acedamn!
Me:
“Gr
atepho”shel
aughed
Mom:
“Yeah.
..
whati
sitbaby
”
Me:
“Logandi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngMama”
Mom:
“Thenwhati
sit
?”
Me:“Uhm whatwouldyoudoifther
e'saguyy ou
l
ovebuthenev ershowint
eresti
nyouunt i
lyou
deci
dedt omoveonf r
om hi
m.Nowt hatyouare
happywithsomeoneelseboom hesayhel ove
younotforget
ti
ngthepartt
hatheisaf uckboy”
shelaughed
Mom:
“I
fheisaf
uckboydon'
tev
ent
hinkabout
i
tmychi
ld”
Me:
“Idi
dn'
tsayI
tsmeMama”Shel
aughed
Mom:“
Tel
lwhoev
ert
hati
stocomet
omewe
wi
ll
tal
k”
Me:
“HawuMama”
Sheshr
uggedhershoul
der
s
“
Okayf
inei
t'
sme”
Mom: “Ihav
ebeeninthatsi
tuati
onbutitsnot
exactl
yandImustsayt hewaythingshappened
I'
m notproudsoIdon'
twanty outorepeatmy
mistake.”
Me:“
Whathappenedandwhatdi
dyoudo?
”she
si
ghed
Mom: “WhenImetyourfat
herIwasina
rel
ati
onshipwi
thsomeonesowashe”she
narr
atedwhathappenedIdist
urbedheri
nthe
middle
Me:“
Waitafterhetol
dyouthathei
smarr
ying
hi
sgirl
fr
iendsti
lly
ouall
owedhimtohav
ey ou”
Mom:“Heywenat heboywasdri
vi
ngmecr azy
onanotherl
evel
.”Welaughed“
Andthatday
Sqal
okuhl
eandSqal
esi
hlewer
econcei
ved”
Me:
“Yhoowhatdi
dyoudo”
Mom:“WhatwasIsupposetodoIranaway
.It
wastheonlywayforall
ofus”Shecar
ri
edon
andnarr
atedthei
rlov
estor
y
Me:“
Wowbutyouguysarest
il
ltoget
hert
he
hear
treal
l
ywantwhati
tswant
”
Mom: “Yeahbuttherearethi
ngsIwishdi dn'
t
happenedt hewayt heydi
dwhichbringsmet o
myr easonwhyI mt el
li
ngyouthi
s.Bet rueto
yourselfandtryy
ourbestnottohurtany one
eventhoughi twi
llbeimpossi
blegi
vei tyourtr
y”
Me:“
SoinotherwordsIshoul
dst
ickwi
thLogan
andfor
getaboutt
hisguy”
Mom:“Iwon'
ttel
lyouwhatt
odobutdoest
his
boyl
oveyouforreal
?”
Me:
“Idon'
tknowf
orsur
ebuthesai
dso”
Mom:
“Andy
oul
ovehi
mtoo”
Me:
“Yes”Il
ookeddown
Mom:
“Mor
ethany
oul
oveLogan?
”
Me:
“Idon'
tknow”
Mom: “Youneedt oknowmychi ldandwhen
youdol ookatal lthefact saboutt heset wo
guy s.Don' tst ayinar el
at ionshi pj ustbecause
youdon' twantt ohurtthatper sont hati snot
l
ov eandanot herthingdon' tconf usel oveand
crush.Lov eisanemot i
on.Whenaper sonhasa
veryst rongper sonalaffect i
onorat tachment
towar dsanot herperson, itiscal ledl ov e.Loveis
uncondi t i
onal nomat terhowper fectorhow
faultytheobj ectofl ovei s, t
heyar eal way s
l
ov edbyt heonewhol ov es.I tisanemot i
on
whi chbi ndspeopl ewitheachot herf ora
l
ifetime.Acr ushi sav eryst r ongat t
ract i
on
towar dssomeone; i
tisinfat uationf orav ery
shor tper i
odoft i
me.Acr ushusual lyi sbased
onaper son’sappear anceort hewayt heper son
talksorwal ksorsomepar ticularbehav i
or
whi
chi
sadmiredi
ntensel
ybyanot
herper
son.I
t
i
sshor
t-
li
ved.
”
Me:
“Youar
econf
usi
ngmemor
eMama”
Mom:“Dontbebabyyouneedsomesoul
sear
chingyouwi
llf
indanswer
s.”
Me:
“Okay
”
Mom:
“Nowl
et'
sgoeat
”
Me:
“I
m st
il
lnothungr
y”
Mom:“
HayiIwil
lbr
ingyourfoodhere”She
st
oodupandwalkedout.DoIloveMj orI'
m
cr
ushi
ngonhim?WhataboutLoganam II n
l
ovewit
hhim orI
'minlovewitht
heideaofbe
wi
thhi
m orI'
m al
socrushingonhim?Si gh!
ThedoorswungopenedMjwalkedi
nwi
thmy
foodmyheartski
ppedabeat
.
Mj
:
“Mom sai
dImustbr
ingy
ourf
ood”
Me:
“Thanksy
oucanpl
acei
tont
hebedsi
de
t
abl
e”Hedidandmadehi
swayt
othedoor“
Did
your
eal
lymeanwhatyousai
d”Isaidwhenhe
wasatt
hedoorhetur
nedandlookedatme
Mj:
“YesItmaycomeasashockIknowbuti ti
s
whatiti
s.Itr
iedtosuppressmyf eel
ingsforyou
butever
ysinglesecondtheygr ew.Ev er
ytime
whenIlookaty oumyhear tbeatabnor mall
y
anditdr
ivesmecr azyt
oseey ouwi t
ht hatguy”
Me:
“WhynowMj
”
Mj
:
“Whatdoy
oumean?
”
Me:“
Whywaitf
ormet of
indsomeonefir
st
bef
oret
ell
i
ngmet hi
swhatwereyouwaiti
ngf
or
al
lal
ong”Hebrushedhi
sheadandsighed
Mj:
“Iwasscaredt
haty
ouwi
l
lrej
ectme.Idon'
t
t
akereject
ionwel
l
”
Me:
“Lookwhaty
ouhav
edonenow!
”
Mj
:
“Whatdoy
oumean”
Me:“Nothi
nggothanksfort
hefood”Hewal ked
towardsandsatnexttomestar
ingint
omy
eyesmakingmyhear tt
obeatharder
.Ithought
thesefeel
i
ngswer
eov
erwhyar
etheysuddenl
y
showingup
Mj:
“I
tscoolIunder
standy
ouhavesomeoneI
j
usthavetogrowupandacceptt
hat”
Me:
“Youshoul
dhavetol
dmeMj
”If
eltt
ear
s
r
unni
ngdownmyf ace
Mj
:“
ThandoI'
m sorr
yIdi
dn'tmeantohur
tyouI
wi
l
lbackoffokaypl
easedon'
tcry
”hetri
edto
wi
pedmyfaceIbackedaway
Me:
“Pl
easego”
Mj
:
“Thando.
..
”
Me:
“Justgo!
”
Hesmashedhi sl
ipsonminetheywerecold,
thi
ckandwel comingIcoul
dn'
tresi
stIkissed
him back.LoganLoganLoganIpul
ledout“No
I
'm sorrythi
sis.
..
”
Mj:
“Tel
lmeyoudon'tf
eelthesame”Ilooked
downheli
ft
edupmychi nmaki ngmet ol
ookat
hi
m“ YoudoIcanseeiti
ny ourbeaut
if
uleyes.
”
Me:“
It
stoolatenow Mj youshoul
dhavet
old
me.Ilov
edy outhefi
rstdayIsawbuty
ouwere
nev
erinter
estedIhavemov edonnow”
Mj:
“Ial
sol
ovedy outhefi
rstt
imeIlai
dmyey es
onyoubutall
yousawi nmewasabr other.We
l
oveeachotherThandowecan'tdenythat
.”
Me:“Ilov
eLogannow”Hebr ushedmyl i
pswi t
h
histhumbmyhear tpoundedhar der
.Hedrove
histoungebetweenmysepar ateli
psandkissed
medeepl ysendi
ngelect
rict
hr oughmybody .I
moanedsof tl
yasIfel
thishandr unni
ngonmy
thi
gh.Hepulledoutandlookedatme
Mj:“Iwil
lgi
vey outi
met othi
nkaboutthi
sI
promi seIwi
llacceptanydeci
sionyoutakecoz
allIwantistoseey ouhappy.
”Hekissedmy
foreheadandst oodthenmadehiswayt othe
door .
Il
ookedathim ashewalkawayandIdon'
t
knowwhent henextminut
eIwasrunni
ngto
him.Igr
abbedhisarm andki
ssedhi
m he
repliedwithsomuchhungerwhi ski ngmeof f
thegr ound.Iwr appedmyl egsar oundhi swai st.
Hewal kedtowar dst hebedandgent l
yl ayme
oni tpositi
oninghi msel fbetweenmyt highs.
Withi nsecondsourcl otheswer eoutofour
bodi esandweki ssingourt oungesf l
utteringi n
afucki ngawesomer hy thm thatmoans
escapedi nourmout hs.Hi sguywast humbi ng
againstmyki ttyIfeltasuddenneedf orhimt o
enterme.Her anhi ssof thandsonmyt highsas
Iclampedmyl egsar oundhi sbut t.Hewentt o
mynecksucki ngi tsogoodcount l
essmoans
sli
ppedoutofmymout h.Het r
ailedwetki sses
onmychestl av i
shingmybr east .Her olledhi s
toungeonmyhar dni pplewhi lepi nchingt he
otherwi thhisf i
nger ssendi ngov erwhel ming
sensat i
onst hroughmybody .Heki ssedmyl ips
againandmadehi swaydownt omyt reasur e.
OhmygoodGodt het hi
ngshedi dther ewi thhi s
tounge.IswearIwentt oami ni heav en.Hi s
strokeswer el ongandqui ck, Iforgotmyname.
Me:"Ooohh"Imoanedl oudly,graspingt heduvet
.
Hel i
ckedmeupanddownandsi det osi de
creati
ngmi ndbl owingsensat ion.Ifeltthe
suddenrushofawav egoi ngdownt omyl ower
bodyandj erkedbuthi shol dwast oot ight.
“Ahhhh”Iscr eamedi npl easureasIr eleasedhe
mademet ast emy sel
ft henlockedhi shal f
hoodedey esanddi r
ectedhi mselfintome, I
gaspedclenchi nghisar ms.Damnhewasso
deepandf ullIcouldn'thelpbutscr eam
Me:“
Hauwemaaah”Hesmiledandbuckedhi
s
hi
psslowl
yanddeepl
y,hi
seyeslockedonme.
Mj:“
Aahhy ouaresotight”Heslammedi ntome
hardourskinsslappi
nglusciousl
y.Iwr apped
myl egsaroundhisbuttpul
li
nghi m deepf uck
heissof r
eakinggoodmymoanst urnedinto
cri
es.Histhrust
sweredeep, roughandf ast.A
waveofpleasureshotthroughmybodyI
shudderedunderneat
hhi m
Me:
“Ohhhy
essssss!
”Hecameaf
termeand
col
l
apsedonmepant
ing.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Daywellspentwit
hmyf ami
lybutmymindwas
st
uckont hepartt
hatCassi
esawherdaddy.
Couldi
tbepossiblet
hatMveloi
sherebuthei
s
hi
dinghi
msel f
.
Themi ssingl
aptopjustconfi
rmthat
somethingiswrongandt hatl
apt
opisvery
i
mportantt omyfiancé.I
twasinthemiddleof
theni
ghtIcouldn'
tsleepIwantedsomey ogur
t.
Itookagoodl ookatmyf i
ancénexttomewow
thi
sguyi shotguys.Ever
ydayhebecomehot t
er.
Istil
lpi
nchmy sel
fthatwearetogethert
hathe
forgaveme.
I
'mr eal
l
yalucki
estwomanintheworld.Iki
ssed
hispart
edl
i
psandsl i
doutofbed.Ipull
eda
robeandworehispushi
ns.
Iwentdownstai
rsthel
ightwasonwhi chis
str
angeIcoul
dhearnoiseasIapproachedt he
ki
tchen.myheartwasbeati
ngfast
.Isawhi s
backhewasbusyeat i
ngonthefri
dgegr eedil
y
Me:“Mv el
o”Hefroze“
Iknowi
tsyou”Het urned
aroundandlookedatme.Iwon'
tl
ieIdidn'tli
ke
whatIsawhewasi nr
agsandsmell
ing.
“M..v
elo”
Mv
elo:
“S.
.i
s”I
nawal
kedi
n
I
na:
“Soi
t'
str
ue”
Mv
elo:
“Heybaf
o”
I
na:
“Baf
omyf
ootwhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eget
out
!!
”
Me:
“Baby
..
.”
I
na:
“Lov
ethi
sguybet
ray
edy
ouhehav
etogo!
!”
Mv
elol
aughedoutl
oudl
y
Mvelo:
“I
hheeNkosinamandl
amysi st
erspussy
t
urnedyouint
othisbast
ard.Whathappenedto
myf
ri
endhuh”
Ina:
“Fri
end?Youf uckingleftmeanddi dnt
bothertocallmej ustt oletmeknowy ouare
okayIwasf uckingwor ri
edabouty ou!!!May beI
canf or
giv
ey ouf orthatbutIwon' tforgiveyou
thatyoubetrayedmywi fewithherenemy
number1Luci a!Asi fitnotenought hatyou
fuckedLuciapregnanty oustolemoneyr eal
ly
Mv el
otoownsi ster!Youar esuchadi sgust!!
”
Mvelo:
“Idi
dn'
tknowtheyar
eenemi
esIt
hought
..
Konke”Iwasintear
sthatt
ime
I
na:
“Youar
ely
ingyouknew!Leav
emysi
ght
Mvel
oyoumakingmywifecry
”
Mv
elo:
“Idon'
thav
eany
wher
etogo”
I
na:
“Idon'
tgi
veadamnl
eav
e!!
”
Me:
“I
napl
ease”
I
na:
“Nomylovethi
sbast
ardisnoteven
r
emorsef
uldon'
tal
lowhi
mt ouseyou.Heknow
y
ouhaveasoftspotf
orhi
mt hati
swhyheis
pl
ayi
ngy
ou”
Me:
“Hehav enooneInaandit
sthemi
ddl
eof
t
henightandit
scoldout
side”
Ina:
“Somet i
mesy ourgoodheartmakeme
angrymybaby .Thatiswhypeopl ekeephurti
ng
you!Youal l
owt hem towalkalloveraymaan
sthandwasami .Mv el
oleave”Mv el
olookedat
mewi thpleadi
ngey es“EkseIsaidleave!
”
Mv el
oturnedaway
Me:
“Mv
elodontgo”
I
na:
“Bab.
..
”
Me:“Thi
sismyhouseNkosi
namandl
ayouwon't
tel
lmewhattodo!!
”Hechuckl
edandshookhi
s
head
I
na:
“Sor
ryukukphaphel
a”If
li
nchedmyhand
Me:“
Im sor
rybaby.
..”Heraisedhishandupand
t
ookhiscarkeysont hecounter“
BabyI'
m sorr
y
whereareyougoi
ngi nthi
stimeofthenight
”He
i
gnoredmeandwal kedoutmi ndyouhewas
st
il
li
nhi
spj
s.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
There'
snothinghardthenhavingt odealwi
th
painanddiff
icult
iesal
onenott hatyoudon'
t
haveanyonebutt hesi
tuati
ondoesn' tal
l
owy ou
toshareyourpaincoztherewillbe
consequences.Nomat terhowol dyouareyou
alwaysneedy ourmother.
Atthi
smomentIneedmymom shedonthav e
tosayanyt
hingmepr essedagainstherbosom
andherarmswr appedaroundmybodysoot hes
myheartbutIcan'thav
et hatshewillgocr
azy
andtel
ldaddythenhellwill
breaklose.
Idon'twantthatri
ghtnow.NotthatI'
dblame
Mamat r
uthbet ol
dIwil
lal
sonotencour agemy
daughtertostayinanabusi
verelat
ionshipno
matterhowt hesit
uati
onmaybe.Onet hi
ngI
knowforsurei
st hatshewil
ldoexactlywhat
I'
m doi
ngifshewast heonewhoi sgoing
thr
oughthi
sasmuchshewi llgocrazyifshe
canfoundoutthepainI'
m enduri
ngher e.
I
tsironi
cItel
lyouthemy steryi
sinthel
ovewe
haveforourchi
ldr
enaswel l
asourpart
ners.
Wemi ghtnotbemarr i
edyetbuttheri
ngthat
I
'm weari
ngisasignthathel ov
emeenought o
makemehi slif
epartner.
Thedayheaskedmet omarr
yhim hechanged
mymi ndsetInolongerr
egar
dmy sel
fashis
gi
rlf
riendbutashiswifei
nprogress.Ican'
tj
ust
packmyt hingsandgoespecial
l
ywhenheneed
met hemost .
Wemani f
estanddeal
wi t
hpaindif
fer
ent
lyI
st
rongl
ybeli
evewewillpul
lthr
ough.
Isaidashor tpr
ayerwithi
nmy selfasIst
areat
him sleepi
ng.HeavenlyFatherpleasegiv
eme
strengthtoendurethi
ssituati
onandt ofind
blessingsandlessonsitcontains.Mayyou
watchov
erandl
i
ftupmyf
iancéi
nthenameof
JesusAmen.
Iwipedmyt earsandtookmybooksandmy
phonet henwentt ohisstudyroom.Ihaveatest
tomorrowandIhav en'
tgottimetostudyther
e's
alotonmypl ateIhopeIwon'tfai
l.Iorder
ed
burger
sf irstbef
orebusiedmy sel
fwit
hmy
books.TheMcdsboyar ri
vedIatt
endedhim
thencarriedonwi t
hstudying.
Around10pm Iwashungr yandtir
edIwentt o
checkonPKhewasst i
l
lsleepi
ngsoIwentt o
thekitchen.Iwashedmyhands,madecupof
coffeeandt ookmyburgerheadingtothe
l
ounge.Iwat chTVwhil
eeatingbutmymi nd
wasf araway .MyphonerangIlookedatitand
glazedmyey es.
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwant
?”
Mzwakhe:
“Hel
l
o”
Me:
“Hi
”
Mzwakhe:
“Howar
eyou?
”
Me:
“Cany
ougett
othepoi
ntMzwakhe”
Mzwakhe:
“Icar
ehowy
ouf
eel
Kat
”
Me:
“I
mfi
ne”
Mzwakhe:
“I
m al
sof
ine.Ineedt
otal
ktoy
oucan
wemeettomorr
ow”
Me:
“Canty
ousayi
tov
ert
hephone?
”
Mzwakhe:
“I
tsver
yimpor
tantpl
easeKatIknow
I
'm aj
erkpl
easel
etmeetandtal
k”
Me:
“AyIt
oldyout
hatI
'
m noti
nter
est
edi
nyou.
Wehavenothi
ngt
otal
kabout
”
Mzwakhe:
“JusthearmeoutIwon'
tbot
hery
ou
agai
n”
Me:
“OkaybutIhav
eschool
tomor
row”
Mzwakhe:
“Whatt
imear
eyougoi
ngt
obef
ree”
Me:
“12pm”
Mzwakhe:
“Okaynopr
obl
em wewi
l
lmeetat
y
ouri
skobhoshop”hesai
dchuckl
i
ng
Me:
“Howdoy
ouknowaboutt
hat
”
Mzwakhe:
“Iknowev
ery
thi
ngabouty
ou”
Me:
“By
e”Ihungbef
orehecoul
dsayany
thi
ng.
WhenIf ini
shedeatingIt
ookmydi shestothe
ki
tchenandpl acedthem i
nthesinkthen
switchedofftheli
ghttoever
yroom before
goingtobed.
THEFOLLOWI
NGMORNI
NG
IwokeupPKwasnotnextt omemyhear t
ski
ppedabeatIlookeddownont hef l
ooronhis
si
dehewasnott here.“Ididn'
tfal
ldon'
tworry
”I
l
ookedupathim ashewheel edhimselfinwi
th
atr
ayonhislaps“Mor ningMajobe”
Me:
“Dl
akadl
a”Hecamet
omysi
de
PK:“Imadebr
eakf
astforyouit
snothingmuch”I
tookthetr
ayi
twasabowl ofcereal
wi t
hberr
ies
atthemomentIcravedsomethi
ngsaltybutI
l
ikethathemadebreakf
astforme.
Me:“
Thanky
oumyl
ove”Il
eanedov
ert
oki
sshi
s
f
orehead
PK:“Befor ey oueatcanwet alk”Het ookmy
handsandki ssedt hem “ Iknowt hatallweev er
doistot alkbutIkeepdoi ngt hesamet hing
overandov eragai n.I'm sor ryKitKatIdon' t
wannapr omi sey oucozIf ailt
okeepmy
promises.I m outofwor dst odescr ibehow
thankful Iam t ohav ey oui nmyl i
fe.Iwent
overboar dy esterdaybuty oucamebackf orme
Katev enwhenIdi dn' tdeser v
et hat.Thel ove
youhav ef ormei sext r
aor di
naryamazi ngly
beautiful Ifeelsoov erwhel medbaby .Iwantto
dobet terf oryoubabyIwantt obeabet t
erman
foryouandabet terf atherf orourki ds,Idon't
wanty out ofeelanypai nany mor ebecauseof
me.Ihav edeci dedt hatIwi l
ltalkwithsomeone
asy ousuggest ed.Il ov ey ouKi tKatIdon' twant
tolosey ou”Tear swer er olli
ngdownhi sfaceas
minedi d.At l
eastweget tingsomewher enow.
Me:
“Thanky
ousomuchf
orconsi
der
ingt
his
baby
.I'm sohappyy
ouar
ewi
l
li
ngt
obehel
ped.
”
Hekissedmyhandsagai
n
PK:
“Il
ovey
ousomuch”
Me:“Il
oveyoumor e”Iinchedcloserwekissed
deeplyandslowl
yaswet astet
hesaltofour
tear
s.Webr oketheki ssandstareddeepin
eachotherseyeslisteningtoourheart
sbeat
i
ntoone.“Thanky ouf orbreakf
astmyl ov
e”
PK:“I
tsmypleasur
emydearwi
fenoweat
”He
tookthespoonandfedme
Me:
“Whatt
imei
sitIdon'
twantt
obel
ate”
PK:
“I
ts6o'
cl
ockwhatt
imedoesy
ourdayst
art”
Me:“At8:
30...
Lamiwantt
ocomebackbutI
dontthi
nkitsagoodtimeforhimtost
aywi
th
usyetmay beduri
ngtherecess”
PK:“
Youarer
ightmyl
ove”Hewi
pedmymout
h
wit
hhist
humbandsuckedit
Me:“
WhenIcomebackfr
om schoolwecango
f
etchhi
m spendsomet
imewithhim andsend
hi
m backt
oMama”
PK:“
Imfi
newi
tht
hat..
Mom sai
dthere'
snoneed
todri
vemet
ohertodayshewi
llcomeover
”
WhenI'
m atschool
Itookhi
mt ohi
sMamat hen
f
etchhi
m whenIcomebackf r
om school
Me:“
Okayt
hati
sgr
eatt
hen.Di
dshet
ell
yout
hat
shecanmovei
nwi
thus”
PK:
“Ar
eyouokaywi
tht
hat
?”
Me:
“I
fyouar
eokaywi
thi
t”
PK:
“Wel
lI'
m notokaywi
thi
t”
Me:
“Why
?”
PK:“
Mom canbetoomuchbabywheny oust
ay
wit
hherforqui
tetool
ong.Idon'
twanty
outwo
toendupfi
ghti
ng”Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
“Usho?
”
PK:“
Imtel
l
ingy
oupl usyouhav eyourheadand
shehav
eherstoo.Icannotcan”Ilaughed
Me:
“Sowhoi
sgoi
ngt
owal
kyout
hrought
his?
”
PK:“I
tssomeguywewentt ohi
ghschool
together
.Hei sapsy
chologi
stImadean
appointmenttoseehimtodaybutt
heysai
dhe
will
beav ai
lablet
omorrow”
Me:
“I
m pr
oudofy
oust
handwasami
”Hesmi
l
ed
PK:“
Don'
tbelatemyloveIwi
llgoputt
hisi
nthe
ki
tchenwhi
l
ey outakeashower”
Me:
“Thanky
oubabe”
PK:“
Arey
ouguy
sful
lthough”Hebr
ushedmy
tummy
Me:“Yeah”Isli
doutofbedashewentt oputt he
tr
aytot hekit
chen.Idraggedmy selft
ot he
bathroom andtookashowersi ngingsof t
ly.I
'
m
happymybabyi smeet i
ngmehal fway .Thank
youLor dforansweri
ngmypr ay
ers.Ifi
nished
shower i
ngandwr appedat owelaroundmy
headandbodybef or
egoi ngtothe
bedroom. “
Mom hasar ri
vedbaby ”
Me:
“Okayst
handwasami
letmegetdr
essed”
Hewheel edhimselfout
.Idriedandlot
ionedmy
bodythengotdr essedi
naf loweredmaxi dress,
greyCardiganandsandals.Iwrappedadoek
aroundmyheadmyhai rwasamess.Ihav en'
t
hadtimet odomanyt hi
ngs.Itookmyt hings
andheadedout .
Hewassi
tt
ingwi
thhi
smom i
nthel
ounge.
“
Morni
ngMama”
Mr
sM:
“Mor
ningsi
showar
eyou”
Me:“
Imf i
neMama.I '
m sor
rythatIdi
dn'
tmake
br
eakfastI'
m al
readyl
atenow”
MrsM:
“Nopr
obl
em si
sIwi
l
lmakemy
sel
fone
hav
eagoodday
”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”Iwal
kedaway
PK: “
HawuI'
m notev
enget
ti
ngagoodby
eki
ss”I
turnedandl
ookedathi
mthenhi
smom who
giggled
MrsM: “
Iwil
lgomakemysel
fbr
eakf
asti
nthe
ki
tchen”shewal
kedout
PK:
“Comemyfohl
oza”Iwal
kedtohi
m andsat
onhi
slap.Weki
ssedpassi
onat
ely“
Havea
gr
eatday”
Me:“Yout oo”Ikissedthespacebel owhi sl
ower
l
ipthenl eft
.Thedaywentwel lIwrotemyt estI
bel
iev eIwil
l pass.Youmustbewonder ingthat
don'tIhavef ri
endswellIalwayswearmy
i
nti
mat i
nglookatschool soev ery
onef i
ndit
hardt oapproachmeandt hatexactlywhatI
want .Idon'
twantf ri
endstheyar e
untr
ust worthy.Befor
eIknewi titwas12pm
andIwassuperhungr y
.If oundMzwakhe
al
readywai tingformeatt heagreedv enue.
Mzwakhe:“
Majobe”
Hepull
edoutachairf
orme
thewayIr
esenthi
m Ihadf
orgett
hecharming
gent
lemaninhi
m.
Me:“Hey”Isatdownhepushedmychai
rinsi
de
abitandsatdown“Befor
eweconti
nueletme
or
derI'm hungr
y”
Mzwakhe:
“Ial
readydonet
hatdon'
twor
ry”
Me:“Ohokayl
etmegi
vey
ouy
ourmoney
”Isai
d
r
eachingmypurse
Mzwakhe:
“Don'
tI'
m cool
”
Me:
“Sowhatdoy
ouwant
”
Mzwakhe:
“Iwantt
oapologisethewayItreat
ed
youandmybehavi
orl
ately.I'
m sor
ryKatItwas
chi
ldi
shofme”ThefoodcameIdi dn'twaitI
dugin
Me:
“Oh”
Mzwakhe: “YesIdon'twantbadbl oodbet ween
us.I'
mr eall
ysorryandIunder st
andwhyy ou
don'twantLami t
ousemysur nameI '
m nota
fat
herhecanbepr oudofPKi s.Hei stheone
whowast herefrom thefirstt
illnow.Actuall
y
heisaf athertoLami allIaskf r
om youi sdon't
cutmeoutofhi slif
e.Ilovehim Kathei smy
onlychil
d.Ican'tloseanotherchi l
dIalready
l
ostoneandi t
sanunbear ablefeeli
ngonecan
evertake”hewassoemot i
onal
Me:
“Youl
ostachi
l
d”
Hesi
ghed
Mzwakhe:
“Yeah”Henar
rat
edwhathappened
Me:
“TjoI
'
m sor
ryIcani
magi
nehowpai
nful
that
musthav
ebeen”
Mzwakhe:
“Li
fei
sunfairshewasj
ustachi
ldKat
shedi
dn'
tdeser
vetodiesobrut
all
yli
ket
hat”
Tear
srandownhisface
Me:
“I
m sor
ry”Inev
erknowhowt
oconsol
eone
Mzwakhe:
“Pleasedon'
ttakeLamioutofmyl
ife.
Iwil
lst
opbotheri
ngyouandhecanuse
Mngomezuluaslongyoudon'takehi
m away
fr
om me”Hecr i
edli
keababypeoplewere
watchi
ngusnowmyLor d.
Me:“
Okayokaydon'
tcr
ydudeIwon'tt
akehi
m
butyouwi
ll
sti
ll
beuncleMzwakhe”
Mzwakhe:“
Ofcour
se..
.t
hankyousomuch”he
gotupfr
om hi
schairandcametohugme
“Thanky
ousomuch”
Me:“Noproblem”Hepul
l
edoutandwentt
osit
onhischair
.“Ihav
etogonowthanky
oufor
food”
Mzwakhe:
“Younotgonnast
ayf
orawhi
l
e”
Me:
“NoIhav
easonandf
iancét
hatar
ewai
ti
ng
f
ormeathome”
Mzwakhe:
“Goodby
e”
Me:“
sure”Ist
oodupandwenttomycar.Igoti
n
anddrovehome.Hismom carwassti
l
lther
e.
“Gr
eeti
ngs”Theywerei
nloungewat
chi
ngTV
Them:
“Hey
”
Me:
“I
mti
red”Isatdownnextt
omom i
nlaw
PK:
“Howwasy
ourt
est
?"
Me:
“It
hinkIwi
l
lpass”
Mr
sM:
“IcookedIhopey
oudon'
tmi
nd”
Me:
“Idon'
tMa”
Mr
sM:
“CanIdi
shupf
ory
ou”
Me:“I
mf ul
lIat
ebutt
hanky
out
hatwi
l
lbef
or
supper”
PK:
“Ar
ewest
il
lgoi
ngt
oseeLami
”
Me:“
Yesbabyl
etmegot
aket
heset
othe
bedr
oom”
MrsM:
“I'
mleav
ingnowIwi
l
lseey
ouguy
s
t
omorr
ow”
Me:“ThankyouMama”Wehuggedt henshe
huggedherson.Iwalkedherout“Iwi l
lgo
changethenwewi l
lgo”Ikissedhisli
psand
wenttothebedroom.Iwasundr essingwhen
PKwheel edhi
mselfinlooki
ngangr y
PK:“
Ukuphakamnandihuh”(hegi
vei
ttoy
ou
ni
cehuh)Okaywhatisgoingonnowhewas
fi
nejustaminut
eago
Me:
“Huh?
”
PK:“Don'
thuhmedammi
tanswert
hedamn
fucki
ngquesti
on!
!”
Me:
“PKnott
hisagai
npl
ease.
..
.”
PK:“
Whatisthishuh!
!”hethr
ewhisphoneon
meIcatcheditandlookedatthepi
cs,
Mzwakhe
huggi
ngme.
Me:
“Icanexpl
ain.
..”
PK:“
Youmakemeaf oolandsayyouloveme
andyouarenotgoi
ngany wher
ewhileyouknow
youaref
ucki
ngaround!!
!”Heroar
edinanger
Me:“Heaskedmet onott akeLami inhisli
fe
babyIswearnot hi
ngi sgoingon.Pleasecal m
downst handwasami ”Itri
edtohol dhishandhe
pushedmeIf allonthef l
oorandscr eamedi n
agonyasIf el
tpain.l
iquidcameoutofmemy
handaut omati
call
ywentbet weenmyt highs
anditcamebackcov eredwithbloodIpani cked
“Mybabynononoumt anami!Icri
edinangui sh
[
06/
02,
11:
16]W:
84
THANDOKUHLE
•
“
Ify
ougonnabemoodyI
'
m goi
ngt
ou-
tur
n”He
i
sdr i
vingmet omydad' splaceandIwon' tli
e
I
'm notlookingforwardtohearwhatdot hey
wanttoannouncecozIknowIwon' tli
keitas
l
ongast hatwomani sst i
ll
withmyf at
her
.I
i
gnoredhi m andlookedt heothersideofthe
r
oad.“ThandoLwami ”Ilookedathim hehad
t
hiswor riedlookwri
ttenalloverhisplace
Me:
“I
mfi
neMj
”
Mj:
“Youar
enotfi
neandIhat
eitt
haty
oudon'
t
wantmetohel
pyou”
Me:
“St
ayoutofmybusi
nessokay
!”
Mj
:
“Okay
”Isi
ghed
Me:“Im sor
ry”Myphoner angIlookedatt
he
screen:Loganmyhear tbeatharderandgui
lt
engulfedme.Loganisagr eatguyhedoesn'
t
deservethi
s.“Baby”IansweredMj l
ookedatme
Icanseehi m cl
enchi
nghisjaw
Logan:
“Hel
l
osweet
hear
thowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
mfi
nemyl
ovewhatabouty
ou”Icl
ear
ed
myt
hroatmyv
oicewasshaki
ng.
Logan:
“I
'm notokayImi
ssy
ouwher
ear
eyou?
”
Me:
“I
m dr
ivi
ngt
omydad'
spl
ace”
Logan:
“Iwantt
otakey
ououtf
ordi
nnert
oni
ght
”
Me:
“Thatwoul
dbel
ovel
ywhatt
ime”
Logan:
“Iwi
l
lpi
cky
ouupat7pm”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ngf
ory
oubaby
”
Logan:
“Ihav
etogoIl
ovey
ou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”Ihungup.
Mj
:
“Yourwhi
teboy
?”hesai
dwi
thoutl
ooki
ngat
me
Me:
“Hi
snamei
sLoganst
opcal
l
inghi
mthat
”
Mj
:
“YeThandowhati
sgoi
ngonher
eexact
ly?
”
Me:
“Whatdoy
oumean”
Mj:
“Dontf
uckwi
thme!
”Hegr
aspedt
hest
ari
ng
wheelhar
d
Me:
“Mj
youknowv
erywel
lthatI
'
minl
ovewi
th
Loganwhathappenedl
astni
ghtwasami
stake”
Mj
:
“Oh”Thatcameoutasawhi
sper
Me:
“I
m sor
ryIdon'
tmeant
ohur
tyou.
..
”hecut
meoff
Mj
:
“It
sfi
neIgeti
t”
Me:
“Mj
..
..
”
Mj
:
“Youdon'
thav
etoexpl
ainy
our
sel
fIgeti
t”
Therestoft hedr ivewassomberIf eltbad
hurt
inghi m butIal socan'thur tLogan.Tobe
honestI 'm conf usedIdon' tknowwhatt odo
andlastni ghtIact edoni mpul seIshoul dn'
t
havesl eptwi thhi m butIwon' tli
eitwassoooo
amazi ng.Iev ensl eptinhisbedr oom wehad
sexall nightlong.Damnt heguynev ergettir
ed
hereal l
yempt iedmyor gasm bucket .Iswearhe
specialiseinf uckingthewayhei ssooogood.
Iwasbroughtbackt
oEarthbyhissnuf
fl
esI
l
ookedathim omgheiscryi
ng.Thando
wenzeni
?(Thandowhathaveyoudone)Ireach
f
orhi
sar
m
Me:“
Mj I'
m sorr
yIdidn'
tmeant
ol eadyouon
ngi
yaxoli
sa”Hewi pedhist
ear
swi thhishands
vi
gorouslywit
houtsayi
ngaword.“ I
t'
snotl i
ke
nawey ouaresingl
eyouhaveyourgir
lf
riends”
Mj:“
Youknowv erywel lthatIdon'tl
ov et
hem.I
canleavethem anymomentf ory ou.WhatIf eel
foryouisdeepandst rong,it
ssomet hi
ngt hatI
haveneverfel
tbefore.Ihatef al
l
ingf oryou..
.”
Moretearskeptrunningdownhi scheeks.I
haveneverseenhim cr y
ingitbrokemyhear t
moret obethesourceofhi stears.
Me:“
Pull
offpl
ease”HedidasIsaidIjumpedto
hi
m andsatontopofhim str
addl
inghim.He
l
oweredthechai
rabitandlookedatmewi t
h
gl
ist
eni
ngeyes
Mj:
“Ithoughtl
astni
ghtmeantsomet
hingt
oyou
Thando.”
Me:
“Ofcour
seI
tmeantmor
ethensomet
hingt
o
me.
”
Mj
:
“Thenwhywon'
tyoul
ovemel
i
keIl
ovey
ou”
Me:“Idol
oveyou”Iwipedhi stear
swi ththe
backofmyhandsandki ssedhi m deeplyhe
moanedsqueezingmybut t.Mybodyt inglewi
th
exci
tementIpul
ledoutandl ookedathi m“Let
getoutoft
hispubli
cplace”Ibitemyl owerli
p
Mj:“
YesMa' am”Ij umpedt omyseathest art
ed
thecaranddr oveof fwhil
eIkeptteasi
nghi m
andblowinghi m“ Fuck!ThandoLwami Ahhh”he
growled.Wear ri
vedatt hefol
kshotelthe
momentweent er
edourr oom hedevour edmy
l
ipsweki ssedr i
ppingoffeachothersclothes.
Hepickedmeupandpr essedmeagainstt he
wallnotbreakingthekiss.
Heenter
edwithoutwar
ningIscr
eamedi
nhis
mouthhebuckedhishi
pssinki
ngdeepi
ntome
Me:“
OhhhGodahh”Hav
eanyonefucky
ouso
goodthaty
ouwi
shyoucanpayl
obolaf
orhi
m.
Mj:
“Ohhshi
tIsofuckingl
oveyouThandoLwami
ahhh”Wehadafuckingawesomesteamylong
session.Icame5f i
vetimesandhecame3
ti
mes“ Damm y ouaresoamazing!”He
coll
apsedonmepant i
ng.Herol
leddownf r
om
meandpul l
edmeont opofhim.Isnuggled
cl
osert ohischestl
ist
eningt
ohisheartbeat
anditfeltsogood.
Me:
“IwonderIwi
l
lbeabl
etowal
k”Hegi
ggl
ed
Mj
:
“Itcan'
tbet
hatbad”
Me:
“YoudamagedmeMr
”
Mj:
“I
'm sor
ryIj
ustcan'
tgetenoughy ouar
eso
goodthatIwantt
olastfor
everi
ny ou.”
Me:“
Isweart
hesor
enessi
swor
thi
tbaby
”I
ki
ssedhi
schest
Mj :
“I
'm notgi
vi
ngupony ougir
l.I
'
m gonnaf
ight
foryout i
ll
thever
yend.
Sizowakhalomuzi
ngothando”Wow.
Me:
”Il
ovei
t”
Mj:
“Iknowyoudo”Hekissedmyheadand
pl
ayedwithmyhairwhi
l
eweengagedina
conv
ersat
ionunt
ilwef
all
asl
eep.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
Il
ookedathercry
ingont
hef
loorIdi
dn'
tknow
whattodo.If
roze
Kat:
“MybabyPhakamani!
!”shesnappedmeout
myheartstar
tedbeat
ingf
asterIpani
ckedwhen
Isawblood.YhowhathaveIdone.
Me:“
BabeI '
m sorr
y”Icall
edMamasi nceshe
j
ustlef
tshecan'tbethatfar
.Iwait
ed
i
mpat i
entl
yli
steni
ngKitKatcr
yingmyheart
shat
teredint
opieces“BabyI'
m sor
ry”
Kat
:“Fucky
ouPKyezwaf
ucky
ou!
!”she
scr
eamedinagony
Me:“Mom iscomingpleasehanginther
e”I
cri
edIknewdeepdownt here'
snogoingback
thi
stimeespeci
all
yifshelosethebaby.Iwil
l
neverfor
givemysel
f.“Im sorr
y”Af
terwhatfel
t
l
i
kef
orev
ermom ar
ri
ved
Mom:
“Whathappened”
Me:
“Ther
s'snot
imet
oexpl
ainMom”
Themomentwear ri
vedatthehospi
tal
shewas
rushedtoER.Thewast oomuchbloodIwas
scaredshewil
llosethebabyLordpl
easesav
e
them bot
h
Mom:
“Dontcrysonshewil
lbeokay
”Icoul
dn'
t
st
opt
earsfr
om comingout.
Me:“I
tsallmyfaultMamaImessedupIdon' t
deser
v eherIhavebeenphysi
call
yand
emotional
lyabusi
v et
owardsherlat
ely
”she
sl
appedmemyv i
sionst
uddedwithstart
s.
Me“
I'
m sor
ry”Icr
ied
Mom: “
Nyor yy ousaynyory?
sincewhendi dyou
becomev i
ol enthuhIwi shshedumpy our
abusi
veassagg!Ev er
yonegoest hr
ough
di
ffi
cul
tsituationsbutwedon' tbecome
abusi
ve!!
?”Shesl appedmeagai n“Youdoknow
whatwil
lMawakhelomuzi
doi
fhefi
ndout
aboutt
hishuh!
!”Shewassol
i
vid
Me:
“Pl
easedon'
ttel
lhi
m pl
ease”
Mom:
“Shewi
l
ltel
lhi
m!!Hav
eyoucont
act
ed
t
hem?
”
Me:
“NoI'
m scar
edMamawhatwill
Isay?How
wi
ll
Ilookatt
hem i
ntheey
esknowingt
hatI
'm
t
heonewhohurther”
Mom:“Iwi
llcal
lZesul
i
we”Shecal
ledKat
's
mom.Wi t
hinhal
fanhourMrSandMrsS
ar
ri
ved.
Mr
sS:
“Whathappened?
”
Il
ookeddown
Mom:
“Shef
all
”
MrS:
“Fal
lwher
e?Onst
air
case?
”
Me:
“Noont
hef
loor
”
Mr
sS:
“Ihopet
heyar
eal
lfi
ne”
Wewai
tedf
orhour
sthenf
inal
l
ythedoct
or
camet
ous
Doc:
“Nkosi
sthandi
l
eSi
thol
e”
MrS:“Sheismydaughtert
hisi
smywi
feher
mother.Howisshedoctor
”
Doc:
“Herbloodpressur
eisveryhi
ghI'm sur
e
duetostr
ess,sheisexper
ienci
ngplacental
abr
upti
on”
Mr
sSst
art
edcr
ying
Me:
“Pl
ainEngl
i
shdoct
or”
Doc:“Pl
acentalabr
upt i
oniswhentheplacent
a
separat
eear l
yfrom theuter
usinotherwordsit
separat
ebef or
echildbir
th”myheartbrokei
nto
ti
nypieces.There'
s3mor emonthslef
tfor
deli
very
.
Mr
sS:
“Howsev
eret
hesepar
ati
oni
s?”
Doc:
“For
tunat
elyi
t'
spar
ti
alsoclosemoni
tor
andbedresti
srecommended”
MrS:
“Canweseeherpl
ease”
Doc:
“Shei
srest
ingMrSi
thol
epl
easecome
backl
ater
”
MrS:“
Thankyoudoct
or”Thedoct
or
di
sappear
ed.
ThankyouLordmyprincessisfi
ne.Iknowit
s
sel
fi
shofmeIhav ehurtherenoughbutIcan'
t
l
oseherpleasesendyourangelstohertofi
nd
i
tinherhear
ttogiv
emeonel astchance.
•
MZWAKHE
•
Dadmademer eal
i
zethatifIkeeponfight
ing
Katandi nsul
ti
ngPKIwi l
lneverwinherback.
There'snooneespecial
lywomanwhol i
kea
personwhot hrowderogat
oryremarksontheir
specialsomebodyIhavetobesmar taboutthi
s.
Ihavetobet hi
ssupporti
ngandunderst
anding
persontohersot hati
tcanbeeasytogettoher.
LastnightIaskedhertomeetandsheagreed
sorightnowI'
m wait
ingf
orherwher
eshe
usuall
ybuyiskobho.
Sheissuchapeculiarwoman.Womendon'teat
i
skobho.Iwon'tl
i
et oyouthedayIsawher
shooti
ngMakhosazanaIwasshockedand
i
mpr essedatt
hesamet ime.Damnshewason
fi
reIfall
inl
ovewithherall
overagai
n.
IsawhercomingtowardsIl ookedather
admiri
ngGod'sperf
ectjob.Icouldn'thel
pbut
hatemyselfal
loveragain.HowcanIl oset
his
j
ewel overal
avi
shli
fethatdi dn'
tevenlastme
for
ever.
Me:
“Majobe”Ipul
ledoutachai
rforherIcansee
t
hatsheissurpri
sedbythat
.
Kat
:“
Hey
”ShesatdownIpushedmychair
i
nsi
deabitandsatdown“Bef
orewecont
inue
l
etmeorderI
'm hungr
y”
Me:
“Ial
readydonet
hatdon'
twor
ry”
Kat
:“
Ohokayl
etmegi
vey
ouy
ourmoney
”she
r
eachf
orherpur
se
Me:
“Don'
tI'
m cool
”
Kat
:“
Sowhatdoy
ouwant
”
Me:“Iwantt
oapologi
sethewayIt
reatedy
ou
andmybehav i
orl
atel
y.I
'
m sorr
yKatItwas
chi
ldishofme”Thefoodcamesheate
Kat
:“
Oh”
Me: “
YesIdon' twantbadbl oodbet weenus.I 'm
reall
ysor ryandIunder standwhyy oudon' twant
Lami tousemysur nameI 'm notaf atherhecan
bepr oudofPKi s.Heist heonewhowast here
from thef i
rstti
ll now.Act ual
lyhei saf athert o
Lami allIaskf rom y ouisdon' tcutmeoutofhi s
l
ife.Ilovehi m Kathei smyonl ychi l
d.Ican' t
l
oseanot herchi l
dIal r
eadyl ostoneandi tsan
unbear ablefeelingonecanev ertake”Tal king
aboutmybabygi rlmakemeemot i
onal.Ist il
l
haven'tmadepeacewi thherdeat handIdon' t
wantt oloseLami tooIjustfoundhi m.
Kat
:“Youl
ostachi
l
d”
Isi
ghed
Me:
“Yeah”Inarr
atedwhathappened.Icoul
d
f
eelt
earsthreat
eningt
ocomeout .
Kat
“Tj
oI'
m sor
ryIcani
magi
nehowpai
nful
that
musthav
ebeen”
Me: “
Lif
eisunfairshewasjustachi
l
dKatshe
didn'
tdeservetodiesobrutal
lyl
i
kethat
”My
tearsescaped
Kat
:“
Im sor
ry”
Me:“Pl
easedon'ttakeLami outofmyl i
fe.Iwi
l
l
stopbotheri
ngyouandhecanuse
Mngomezul uaslongy oudon'takehi
m away
fr
om me”Icr i
edhar derLwandleisst
il
la
sensat
ivetopic.
Kat:
“Okayokaydon'
tcr
ydudeIwon'
ttakehi
m
butyouwil
lsti
ll
beuncl
eMzwakhe”
Me:“
Ofcour
se.
..
thankyousomuch”asmuchI
woul
dli
kehimtocallmedaddyIhadt
oaccept
thathei
ssti
ll
ababywecan'
tconf
usehim.Igot
upf r
om t
hechai
randcamet
ohugher“Thank
yousomuch”
Kat
:“Noprobl
em”Iwenttosi
tonmychai
r.“
I
hav
et ogonowthankyouforf
ood”
Me:
“Younotgonnast
ayf
orawhi
l
e”
Kat:
“NoIhaveasonandfi
ancéthatarewai
ti
ng
formeathome”Thatwasashar ppaini
nmy
heart
.Iwant
edtoaskhowarethingsathome
butIdeci
dedagai
nst
.
Me:
“Goodby
e”
Kat
:“
sur
e”Shest
oodupandwenttohercar
l
eavi
ngmewithquest
ionsr
eel
i
ngonmymi nd.
AWEEKEARLI
ER
i
t'
shav ebeenaweeksi ncePKr osefrom t
he
deadtotell
youthatI
'm madwi l
l bean
underst
amenthisret
urningisdecreasingmy
chancesofget
ti
ngbackwi t
hKat .
“
IwantDaddy
”cr
iedLami
Iwant
edt
oshoutathi
m andt
ell
himI
'
m hi
s
fat
her
.
Nothi
ngi spainf
ult
henhavi
ngtohearyourchi
ld
cal
l
inganot hermandaddywhil
eyouarecall
ed
anuncle.IwishIcanf
astfor
wardyear
snow.
Me:“
Okayf i
neI'm goi
ngtotakeyoutodaddy
don'
tcry”Iwipedhistear
sandpickedhim up.
Weheadedt omycarIbuckl edhi
mt henwentto
myside.Istart
edtheengineanddroveoff
.
Uponarri
valIwasat t
endedbyPK.“
Lami
:
“Dadddy
!”hewi
ggl
edhi
msel
ffr
om me
PK:
“Myboy”Hedrankwaterafterhetookthe
pi
ll
sthenpl
acedt
hecontainerofthecapsules.
Lami:“
Letmegouncl eIwantdaddy
”Iwas
holdi
nghimtight
lyi
nmyar ms.I'
mtheonehe
shouldbehappyli
kethiswhenheseemebutI
blamemy sel
fonthatone.
Me:
“Wol
a”
PK:
“Sur
e”
Me:
“Ibr
oughthi
m.Wher
e'sKat
?”
PK:
“I
tsnoneofy
ourbusi
ness”
Lami
:
“Uncl
epl
ease.
..
”
Me:
“ShutupThembal
ami
!
”Hecr
ied
PK:
“Heyheydon'
tyoudar
eshoutatmyson
wena!
!”
Me:
“Hei
smyson!
”IputLami
onhi
slaps.
PK:“
Im sor
rymyboy”hecalmedhim downmy
eyestr
aveledtot
hecont
ainerofpi
l
lsItooki
t
surr
epti
ti
ously
Me:“Bye”Hesaidnot hi
ngIwentoutanddr ov e
home.Iwasal onewhi chisgoodt hing.Iwentto
thebasementandpunchedi nt hecodebuti t
waswr ong.Itr
iedagainst i
l
lIusedSi hl
e's
bir
thdaytheotherdooropened.Packsand
packsofdiffer
entdrugswer est oredinshelves.
Daddoesn'tknowt hatIknowabouthi sil
li
cit
operati
ons.Iempti
edt hecont ainerand
repl
acedthepill
swi t
hdr ugsthatl ookedsimilar
withthepi
ll
s.Icl
osedthedoorandmakei t
l
ookedunsuspici
ousthenwentup.Ineededan
excausetogobacktot hathouse.“Comeon
thi
nkMzwakhet hi
nk!
..
.Gotit!
”Itookmycar
keysanddroveback.
Thi
sti
meKatat
tendedmeseei
ngherf
ace
mademesmil
e.
Me:
“Hel
l
o”
Kat
:“
Mzwakheuf
unani
?”(
whatdoy
ouwant
)
Me:“Iwantt
ochecki
fIdi
dn'
tl
eftmyphoneher
e
Ican'tf
indi
t”
Kat
:“
Noy
oudi
dn'
t”
Me:
“Youhav
en'
tl
ookedf
ori
tKat
”
Kat
:“
Hai
boMzwakheift
her
ewasaphoneher
eI
woul
dhaveseeni
t”
Me:
“CanIgetahug”
Kat:
“Iknewitther
e'snomissi
ngphonecel
a
ungi
y ekephansimuntuwenkosi
!!
”(l
eav
eme
al
one!
!)
Me:
“ComeonbabyImissy ou”Ihuggedher
whi
l
eplaci
ngthecont
aineronthecounter
whi
chwasbehindher
Kat
:“Fuckof
fmaan!
”Shepushedme
Me:
“Iwon'
tgi
veupony ou”Imademywayout
wi
thasmirkonmyface.
PRESENTDAY
Dammi t
!Ibangedthetabl
ehardmaking
ever
y onetolookatme.Luckybastar
d!Ineed
anotherplanit
scleart
hatthi
soneisnot
workingsheisstil
lwit
hhim agg!
!
[
06/
02,
11:
18]W:
85
KUHLEKONKE
•
“Youdisr
espect
edmei nfr
ontofyourbrot
her
!!
Howwi ll
herespectmeifyouaretheonewho
disr
espectmehuh!!!
”Heroaredi
nanger.
Me:
“I
m sor
rybabyI
tcameoutwr
ong”
I
na:
“I
tsl
ookli
keyouagr
eedt
omar
rymebut
y
ouarenotr
eady
”
Me:
“BabyI
'
mready
..
.”
I
na:“Youarenotr
eadyKuhlekonket
hisi
snot
howawi fetr
eatherhusband.Whenyouar
e
readyyouknowwher etofi
ndme”
“Youneverdeser
vedherwhatkindofa
husbandthatwanthi
swife'
sbrothernott
o
reconci
l
ewi t
hhiswif
e”ThatwasMv el
o
Ina:
“Reconci
l
ereal
lyyouhaven'
tevensai
dtwo
simplewordstoher"
I'
m sor
ry"youareusi
ng
hercozsheloveyou!
”
Mv el
o:“
Youar ejustjeal
ousthatyoucan'ttake
thefactthatsheloveme.I'm herbrot
herfor
cryi
ngoutl oudthere'
snocompet it
iondude.”
I
na:“Youareri
ghtther
e'snocompet it
ioncozi
f
ther
eisyouwouldn'twin.l
ovedoesn'teven
begi
nt odescr
ibehowIf eelaboutherwhil
eyou
ontheothersi
deyouusethewor
dloveand
si
bli
ngtouseher.Youar
esopathet
icand
di
sgust
ing!”
Mvelo:“Ohpl
easeshesawwhatani di
oty
ouar e
andf uckedt
hatJonat
hanguy.
..
”Hedidn'
t
fi
nishedInathr
ewapunchthatsenthi
mr eel
i
ng
Me:
“Babyst
opi
tpl
ease!
”
Ina:
“Nx!”Heki
ssedmyf or
eheadandwal
kedout
Igroanedinfr
ust
rat
ion
“Hedoesn'tworthi
t.Heisaboylethim go.I
n
factIcan'
tbel
ieveyouchosehi
m outofal lt
he
guysinthewor l
d.Heismyagefiveyears
youngerthenyouwhatwereyout hi
nki
ng? ”
Me:
“Shutup!
”
Mvel
o:“
Justsayi
ng”hewi pedhisbloodwithhi
s
t
humbonhi smout handsuckit.Ir
eall
ydidn'
t
meanwhatIsai
di tcameoutwr ong.I'
m more
t
henreadytobehiswife.Sigh.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Iwokeupwr appedi nMj '
sarmsIl if
tedmyhead
andlookedathim hewasst i
ll
sleeping.Ifreed
myselfslowl
yaroundhi sarmsandt ookmy
phone.Timewassi xIhav eonehourt opr epar
e
myselffordi
nnerwithLogan.Isl i
doutofbed
andwentt othetoi
let.Ididnumber1whi chleft
mewi ncingduetosor eness.
Don'taskmewhatam IdoingcozIalsodon't
know.Idon'
twanttoloseLoganandIalsolove
Mj.Godheisdri
vi
ngmecr azy.I
tsfeelsso
magicalwhenI
m withhim.It
sli
ketheworldhas
stoppedandwearetheonlyoneswhoexist.
Ihav enoworrieswhenI'm wit
hhi m.Hehav ea
waywi t
hmet hatnowor dscandescr i
be.Sigh
Thandoy ouareindeepshit!Iwentbackt othe
bedroom andgotdressed.Ilookedathim
sl
eepingheissohotandnowt hatheisworking
outhehav ebecomehot t
er.Ikissedhi
slipsand
t
ookmyphonet
hanl
eft
.It
ookacabt
ohome.
MommyQueenwasfeedi
ngLami
int
heki
tchen
whi
l
eshewascooki
ng.
Me:“
Idon'
tgetwhydoyouf
eedhi
m hei
sol
dhe
hav
et of
eedhimsel
f”
Mom:
“Hei
sst
il
lababy
”
Me:
“Heis3y
ear
snowy
ouar
espoi
l
inghi
mtoo
much”
Mom: “
Haisuka.
..
Ithoughty
ouar
esl
eepi
ngat
yourdad'
stoday”
Me:
“YesIf
orgotsomet
hingI
'
m goi
ngback”
Mom:
“Wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom exact
ly”
Me:
“Home”
Mom:
“Wher
eisMj
?”
Me:“
Idon'tknowhedr
oppedmeof
fatdad'
s
andlef
t”
Mom:“Yourdadcal
l
edandaskedmewher eare
youhecan'tr
eachyou”Ei
shIputhi
snumberon
bl
ackl
i
st
Me:
“Uhm.
..
I.
.”Iscr
atchedmyneck
Mom: “
Icall
edLogant hinkingyouar ewit
hhim
andhealsosaidy ouar enotwithhimy ouwill
bemeet i
ngtonightfordinner.Uphumaphi
Thando?”(wherearey oucomi ngfrom)I
twi
ddledmyf i
ngersandbi temyl owerlip“You
can'
ttal
know! ”Ij
umpedabi t
Me:
“IcanMama”
Mom: “
Youar esmel l
i
ngsexgoandwash
yourselfLoganiswai t
ingfory
ou.Ihopey ouwil
l
behonestwi t
hhimt hepoorboyloveyou.You
disappointedmeIt houghtyouwill
thi
nkhar d
aboutt hisbefor
ey oujumpinbedwi t
hmyson”
myhear tski
ppedabeathowdi dsheknow“ I
sawt hebondbet weent hetwoofyoulongt i
me
agoandIwon' tli
etoy ouIwouldhaveprefer
red
yout wot ostayassibli
ngsbutiti
swhati ti
s”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryMama”
Mom: “
Youar eapologisi
ngt oawr ongperson.”I
pressedmyey esshutandbr eathedoutloudly.I
di
dn'tfeel l
i
kegoingany mor e“ Youcan'tcancel
Logani salreadylooki
ngfor war dtothisdinner
andt hi
si sachancet obehonestwi t
hhim”
Okaynowshei salsoami ndr eader.Iturned
andwal kedawaymyhear twasbeat i
ngfastand
soreatt hesame.Howwi llIcomeoutoft his
messIhav ecreated.
Ishoul dhav epr ev entedi t.Any wayIt ookal ong
showeral lowingwat ert ohi tmeasmymi nd
drif
tf arawaywi tht hought s.Ifi
ni shedanddr ied
thenl otioned.Igotdr essedi namar oonv el
v et
huggi ngdr esst hathav easl i
tonmyt highand
mar oonheel s.Itiedmyweav ei ntoaneatbun
andputsomej ewel lery.Ipr efermynat urallook
Ionlyappl i
ednudel i
pstick.Ispr ay edmy
fragranceandt ookmycl ash.Il ookedr eally
beaut if
ul butIdi dn'tfeel beaut i
ful i
nside.Iwent
downst air
sandhewasal r
eadyt herewai ti
ngf or
memyhear tbeathar der
Mom:
“Youl
ookbeaut
if
ulbaby
”
Me:
“Thanky
ouMama”
Loganwasl
ooki
ngatmewi
thwi
deopenmout
h
“
Heywecango”Isnappedhi
m out
Logan:
“Wowy
oul
ooki
ngbr
eat
htaki
ng”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
Logan:
“Shal
lwe”Ihookedmyarm ar
oundhi
s
webidfarewel
ltomamat henwel
eft
.All
the
wayhekeptsteali
nggl
ancesatme.
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme”
Logan:“Youwillsee”Hetookmyhandand
kisseditthenfocusontheroad.Uponarri
valhe
openedt hedoorf ormeIgotoutthenheclosed
i
t.Wemadeourwayi nt
hisexpensi
vebeauti
ful
restaur
ant .Wesatdownandor ded
Me:
“Thi
spl
acei
sbeaut
if
ul”
Logan:
“Li
key
ou”Ismi
l
ed
Me:
“Ihopet
hei
rfoodi
sbeaut
if
ult
oo”He
l
aughedheknowsmeandf
oodar
esweet
hear
ts
Logan:
“Tr
ustmei
tis.
..
how wasy
ourday
”
Me:
“I
twasbusyy
our
s”
Logan:
“Samewher
ewer
eyou”
Me:
“Wear
eplanni
ngasur pri
sebi
rthdaypar
ty
f
orMama”Il
i
edMom' sbirthdayi
sinDecember
t
hatwast
heonlyanswerIcouldt
hinkof
Logan:
“That'
sgreat”Ourfoodcameweateover
ali
ghtconversat
ion.Thei
rfoodwasoutoft
his
worl
d
Me:
“Thi
stast
ereal
l
ygood”
Logan:“
Itoldyou”hewipedmychi
n.“
DidIt
ell
youthatIloveyoutoday?”
Me:
“No”
Logan:
“ Il
ov eyousomuchMaSot hobethank
youforwal kingi
nmyl if
eandmademet he
happi
estmani ntheplanet
”OhGod.Het ook
outaringIgasped“ Dontbescar
edthisringi
s
mysy mbolofl
ove.I
m promisingyouthatone
dayI'
m goi
ngtomakey oumi ne.
”LordJesus
thi
sguyhowam Igoingtotellhi
m aboutMj.Do
Ievenwanttotel
lhi
m?
Me:
“Soy
ouar
enotpr
oposi
ng?
”
Logan:“Notyetmyl ove.Itsapromiseringthat
I'
m gonnapr oposeIwi ll
makey oumi neforever
”
Ibreat
hedoutofr elief
.Hesl i
ditonmyr i
ght
handfinger.Itl
ookedr eall
ybeauti
ful
.
Afterdi
nnerwel ef
ttohi
shouse.Hepickedme
upandwal kedwi t
hmetothebedroom thathad
rosesonthefloorandonthebed.
Me:
“Wow”
Logan:
“Youl
i
kei
t”
Me:“
YeahMrRomant icguy”Hechuckl
edand
ki
ssedme.Hegentlylaymeont hebedand
undr
essedmest i
l
lkissingmethenundressed
hi
mself.Het
rai
l
edkissesdownt omynunand
atemesooogoodIscr eamedhi
sname
countl
esst i
mes.Hecamebackandki ssedmy
l
ipsthent oreawr apperwi thhi
steeth.He
pushedi nafteri
nserti
ngt herubberIgrowled
l
oudly.Wemadel ov eallnightl
ong.Don'tl
ook
atmel ikethatIknowokayIknowbutl etme
enj
oyt hismomentf ornowIwi ll
facemy
demonst omorrow.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwast r
yingtostopt
hetear
sfrom f
all
ingbut
theykeptrunni
ngdown.It
shardtostomachthe
trut
hZim saidi
tandyephereIam i
nthe
hospit
al.
IwonderifPKandIwer eevermeanttobe
toget
herwhyther
e'sal
way ssomet hi
ngthati
s
gonnabreakusapart
.Peacei ssomethi
ngthat
wedon'thavei
nourrelati
onship.
Ihav
einv
est
edt
oomuchofmyf
eel
i
ngsi
nthi
s
rel
ati
onshi
pandf or
gottolookotherfact
sabout
us.Eversi
ncethatdayIfoundoutabouthim
andKuhlethi
ngshav eneverbeenthesame.
Ourrelati
onshi
pisbrokenandher
eIam
thi
nkingGodgav eusachancetorepairi
tbut
l
ookingatt hi
ngsnowHegav eusachanceno
actuall
yhegav emeachancetoreali
zethatPK
i
snott hemanf orme.
Imaylovehim andthefeeli
ngmaybemut ual
butwearenotgoodt ogetherwearebett
er
separ
ated.Webr i
ngpainineachother
slif
eI t
s
ti
metoletitgoasheartshatter
ingasi
tis.
“
MissSi
thol
e”Iwipedmytear
swi
tht
hebackof
myhandandlookedathi
m
Me:
“Yesdoc”
Doc:
“Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
”
Me:
“Emot
ional
l
yandphy
sical
l
ydead”
Doc:
“Yourbl
oodpressur
eisver
yhighandy
our
pl
acentai
ssepar
atingfr
om t
heuterusi
not
her
wordsi
tseparatebefor
echi
ldbir
thyouneedto
manageyourstresslev
elmi
ssy ourdaught
er'
s
l
if
eisatri
skotherwisewewill
bef or
cetodo
pr
ematuredel
ivery”myhear
tskippedabeat
Me:“
Iwil
ltr
ymyutmostj
ustpr
omi
semet hat
mybabywillst
ayi
nmytummyunt
ili
t'
sdue
pl
ease”
Doc:“Lucki
l
ythesev
eri
tyoft
heseparat
ionis
parti
alsoyouwil
lbemonit
oredandbedrestis
recommended”
Me:
“Thanky
ousomuch”
Doc:
“Doy
ouneedany
thi
ng?
”
Me:
“Waterpl
ease”Hewenttof
etchwaterf
or
meIdr
ankallofit“
Thanky
ou..
.whatt
imeisit
?”
Hegl
ancedhi
swat
chwr
ist
Doc:
“Hal
fpastsev
en”
Me:
“I
nthemor
ningori
ntheev
eni
ng?
”
Doc:
“Ev
eni
ng”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”Hesmi
l
ed
Doc:
“Iwi
ll
checkonyoul
aterI
'
m sur
eyour
fami
lyi
sontheway”
Me:“Okayt hanky ouonceagai n”Hegav emy
shoulderasqueezandwal kedout.Ibreathout
l
oudlyandbr ushedmyt ummy“ I'
m sorrymy
pri
ncessf orthest ressthatisaffecti
ngy ou
mommyi sgoi ngthroughar oughpat chbutI
promisef rom nowoni tsyou,meandy our
brot
her .Pleasebepat i
entmyangel andstay
ther
ef oranot her3mont hsIbegy ou.”
Icaughtamixtur
eoft heirscentbuthishi
t
harderonmynostri
ls.Ilookedupatt hem.His
mom pushedhi mtowar ds.Helookedpaleand
groggyhisey
eswer ebloodshotr ed.
Mr
sM:
“Hel
l
omychi
l
d”
Me:
“Hi
Ma”Sheki
ssedmyf
orehead
MrsM:“I
m sorr
ymychildIdon'
tunderstand
whati
swr ongwit
hthi
sboy.I'
m sodisappoint
ed
i
nhim”Hetol
dhi
smom Il
ookedathi
m he
l
ookeddown.
Me:
“I
tsokayMa”If
orcedasmi
l
e
Mr
sM:
“Noi
tsnotokay
..
..
”Hecutherof
f
PK:
“Macany
ougi
veusaspace”
Shesi
ghedandwal
kedout
.
“
Baby
”Her
eachedf
ormyhandIy
ankedi
tof
f
Me:
“Dontt
ouchme!
”Thatcameoutasagr
uff
whi
sper
PK:
“BabyI
'
m sor
ryI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
..
”
Me:“I
mt i
redofy oursorri
esPKev erydayy ouare
sorr
ybuty oukeepdoi ngthesamet hingov er
andoveragain.Youal mostcostmemybaby 's
l
ife,
ourbaby '
slife.NoIcan'
tdot hi
sany mor e
Phakamani Itr
iedt obethesupport
ivefiancée
butall
thatwasnotenoughf oryou.Ihav etolet
yougobef oreIlosemybabyormyl ife”
PK:
“Katpl
easedon'
tendusy
oucan'
tdot
hatI
needyou.Pl
easegiv
emeonel
astchanceto
workonusIpromisemyl
ovey
ouwon'tregr
eti
t
pl
ease”
Eachaneverywor
dheutter
edwasshakyI
real
l
ywantedtobel
iev
ehim butt
hatwhathe
havebeensayi
ngandkeepabusi
ngme.
Me:“I'
mtir
edPhakamanionemi nut
ey oureali
ze
t
hel oveIhav
eforyouthenextI'
m cheati
ngon
you.HaveIevergav
eyouar easonnottot r
ust
me? ”
Heshookhi
sheadt
ear
srol
l
ingdownhi
spal
e
f
ace
“Howmanyt i
mesdoIhav etotel
lyouthatdon't
all
owMzwakhet ocomebet weenus.Hedid
thi
sonpur poseandy etagainyougavehimt hat
sati
sfact
ion.Hesendt hosepicstocome
betweenusandy oul ethim.WhatIhatemor eis
thatyoudon'tgi
vemeachancet oexplainyou
j
ustconcludeony ourselfandmanhandleme. .
.”
Iwipedmyt earsthatkeptfall
i
ng“I'
mtired
Phakamanil
etmegobef
orey
ouki
l
lus”Het
ook
myhandsint
ohis
PK:“Heisnottheonet hatsendt hosepicsIhad
youf ol
l
owedI '
m sor r
yIcouldn'ttakei twhen
youleav emysight.Iwaswr ongandmysor r
y
pleasedon'tdothattous.Wear estrongerthan
thiswecanbeatt his.Atleastmov eoutunt i
lI
sortmy sel
foutdon'tenduspl easeIl ov
ey ou
Katsomuch.Ican' tgoonwi thouty ou”
Me:“I'
m sorr
yIcan'tyouwer enev ersupposeto
l
ayy ourhandonmef rom t hef i
rstplace.I
shouldn'
thaveallowedy ouIshoul dhav el
eft
themomenty oudidbutIkeptmaki ngexcuses
foryou.Stayi
nginthisrelationshipwi l
ldome
nogoodi tsbeyondrepairsYoubr okeust he
dayy ousawaneedt olayy ourhandonme.You
didthistouspleasetakei tlikeamanandl eti
t
go”
PK:
“Katno”Hewail
edl
ikeababy.Thesi
ght
br
okemet othecor
ebutit
sfort
hebest.“
Tel
l
mewhatshoul
dIdot
omakeuswor
k”
Me:“Ther e'
snot hingy oucando.Thanky ouso
muchf orthel ov ey ougav emeev ent houghit
wasshor tlivedcozIhadt hi
sbeliev ei
twi l
lbe
foreternity.Idon' tregrettheyearsIspendwi t
h
youcozt hosewer ethebeaut i
fulyearsofmy
l
ifesadl ywewonthav eanyoft hosebutI
beli
evet her e'
sar easonf orthatsowecan' t
questionf ate.Youhol daspeci alplaceinmy
heartbutnowIhav etoletyougof ormysani t
y
andmychi l
dr enlives.”Itookoutt heringand
gaveitt ohi m
PK:
“MyKi
tKat
..
.”
Me:
“Leav
ePKpl
ease”
PK:
“Kat
..
.”
Me:“Isai
dleave!!
”Hebr eathedoutloudlyand
wheeledhimselfout.Icri
edI twashardto
acceptthati
tstheendofusbuti thadtobe
done.Ihadtodoi tformychi ldr
en.If
eltmom' s
armswr appi
ngar oundmeandherwar mlips
pl
aster
ingonthesideofmyhead.Icoul
dtel
li
ts
herbyhersweetscent
Mom:
“Sshhi
t'
sgoi
ngt
obeokaymybaby
”
Me:
“I
twi
l
lnev
erbeokayMama”
Mom:
“I
twi
l
ltr
ustme”Icr
iedhar
dert
henbef
ore.
Idon'
tknowwhot ol
dherbutIguessamother
knowsherchil
dthemomentshest ar
ted
runni
ngherf
ingerst
hroughmyhairIcal
med
down.
Me:
“Wher
eisdad”
“Righthere”Hewasst andingont hedoor“ I
wasont hephone”Ashewal kedinIlookedat
him heisar eall
ygor
geousmanandt hewayhe
treatMamat opever
ythi
ng.Wi ll
Iev erfi
nda
manl ikehim?Amanwhoi sgoingt ot r
eatme
l
ikehedoest omommy .IthoughtPKi st hat
manbuthey .“Howarey ousweet heart”He
kissedmyf orehead
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbef
inedaddy
”
Dad:“
Thedoctorsai
dyouneedt ost
op
str
essi
ngnotthatIbl
amey oubutIthi
nkyou
shoul
dcomebackhome.Yourmom wi ll
take
careofyouI'
m sur
ePhakamani wi
ll
cope
wit
houtyouforfewdaysunti
lyougetbetter
ri
ghtbaby”
Mom:
“Yeahmyl
ovesowhatdoy
ousaysi
s”
Me:
“Okay
”
Theybothl
ookedateachot
herandIknowwhat
weretheyt
hinki
ng.
Mom:
“Thatwast
ooeasy
”
Me:
“Youmakemeahar
dheadedper
sonnow”
Mom:“Noyouar
enotbaby
”shesai
d
sar
casti
cal
l
y
Me:
“Iwonderwher
edi
dIi
nher
it
edt
hat
?”
Dad:
“Yourgr
andmot
her
”
Me:
“GogoCy
nthi
a?”
Mom:
“GogoNdoni
yamanzi
”
Me:“Shei
sasweetwomant hatwhyInev
er
not
icesheishar
dheaded”
Dad:
“Shei
ssweetl
i
keme”
Mom:“
Nahyouaresourwi
thacapi
tal
muncu”I
bur
sti
ntol
aught
er
Dad:
“Wel
lyoul
ovemesourl
i
ket
his”
Mom: “
Ofcour
semybaby
”Theyki
ssed.Tal
ki
ng
aboutgoal
s.
Me:
“Youdi
dn'
tbr
ingf
ood”
Mom:
“Noar
eyouhungr
y”
Me:
“Yes”
Dad:
“Iwi
l
lgogety
ousomet
hingwhatdoy
ou
want
”
Me:
“Pi
zza, f
ri
es,chocol
ate,
bil
tongdon'
tfor
get
mangojuiceandhotwings”Helookedatme
wi
tharaisedbrow
Dad:
“Ar
eyougoi
ngt
oeatal
loft
hat
?”
Me:
“Yeahdoy
ouhav
eapr
obl
em wi
tht
hatMr
Si
thole”Ir
aisedabrowtoo.Hechuckl
edand
walkedout.“ThankyouMama”
Mom:
“Forwhat
?”
Me:“
Forthi
sy ouhav
enoideahowlongIhav
e
beenyear
ningtobeiny
ourarms”
Mom:“OhbabeI'
m sor
ryt
hatIwasnott
her
efor
youwhenyouneededme.
”
Me:
“Thati
snott
ruey
ouhav
eal
way
sbeen
t
her
e”
Mom:
“Howar
eyouhol
dingupt
hough”Isi
ghed
Me:“I
t'
shar
dMamaandi
tdoesn'
thel
pthathei
s
pushi
ngmeaway.
”
Mom:“
Itmustbehar
ddeali
ngwi t
hthesit
uati
on.
Di
dyoutel
lhi
m howyoufeelaboutal
lofthi
s.”
Me:
“I
t'
swaymor
ecompl
i
cat
edt
hent
hat
”
Mom:
“Howso?
”
Me:
“I
'm endi
ngt
hingsbet
weenus”
Mom:
“Yhobabyar
eyousur
eaboutt
hat
?Imean
thi
satempor
arysi
tuat
iondon'
tmakesuch
deci
si
ons”
Me:“
Trustmet
hisdeci
sioni
sfort
hebest
”she
st
udiedme
Mom:“
Ther
e'ssomet
hingy
ouar
enott
ell
i
ng
me”
Me:“
Youdon'
twantt
oknowtrustmeand
pl
easedon'
tfor
cei
toutofme”shesi
ghed
Mom:“I
'm sosadthoughIthoughtyouguy
swill
fi
nal
l
ybehappy .Phakamaniloveyoumychil
d
andyoulovehi
mt oo.”
Me:
“Lov
eisnotenough”
Mom: “
IhearyouI
'
m sorr
yIfy
ouweremeantt
o
betogethery
ouwil
lfi
ndawaytoeachot
her
agai
n”
Me:“Yeah”Ismiledmytearsfal
l.Shewipedmy
t
earswi ththebackofherhandandkissedmy
l
ips.Istayedinherar
msunt i
ldaddycameback.
AWEEKLATER
Iwasdischargedafter3dayslater.Ihav
ebeen
onbestrestsincethen.Mom hav ebeentaking
ver
ygoodcar eofme.I ntheseday sIgotto
thi
nkalotaboutev ery
thi
ngthemor edaysgoes
bywast hemor eIwassur ethatPKandIar e
bett
erseparated.
Ihaven'
tseenhim butIdocal
lhismom justt
o
fi
ndouthowi shedoing.Ist
il
lcareandIwil
l
neverst
opcaringforhim.
Me:
“Howi
sheMama”
MrsM:“
Heisbehavi
ori
sgett
ingwor
sewi
thout
youI
ssypl
easecomeback”
Me:“
It
snotl
ikeitwi
ll
changeMamaI'
m sor
ryI
can'
tcomeback.Hewil
lendupki
l
li
ngme”
Mr sM:“
Heisl
osingitwi
thoutyoulastnightI
caughthimt
ryi
ngtocommi tsuici
de”Ifeltt
ears
runni
ngdownmyf ace
Me:“Iwishther
e'ssomet
hingIcandot
ohel
p
I
'm sorr
y ”
MrsM:“Atl
eastanswerhi
scall
smay behear
ing
yourv
oicewil
lmakehimfeelbett
er”
Me:“
Ithoughtt
hepsy
chol
ogi
sti
shel
pinghi
m
whatchange?”
Mr
sM:
“Hei
snol
ongergoi
ngt
her
e”
Me:“
Youseeheistheonethatdoesn'
twant
hel
pther
e'snot
hingwecando”
MrsM:“Comeandseehi
mt odayj
ustforan
hourmaybeseei
ngyouwi
ll
changehismi ndset
andgi
vehim hope”
Me:
“I
mleav
ingt
oday
"
Mr
sM:
“Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”
Me:“
Im goi
ngawayf
orawhi
l
eIneedsomet
ime
al
one”
Mr
sM:
“Ohwhenwi
l
lyoucomeback?
”
Me:
“Af
tert
her
ecess”
Mr
s:“
Ohkymt
anami
trav
elsaf
e”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
“
Ist
hatKat”Ihear
dhisv oi
ceont heothersi
de
mystomachsurged“Letmet alktoher
Mama..
.Kat
!KatbabyI'
m sorry!Il
oveyou!”Icut
t
hecall
andbreathoutloudl
y.Dadcamet ome
Dad:
“Li
tt
leangel
arey
oust
il
lokay
”
Me:
“Yeahdaddy
”Hewi
pedmyt
ear
swi
thhi
s
t
humbs
Dad:
“Youcanst
il
lchangey
ourmi
ndy
ouknow
t
hat?
”
Me:
“Ihav
etodot
hisDaddy
.Ineedt
imeal
one”
Dad:
“OkayIl
ovey
ou”
Me:“
Ilov
eyoutoo”Hekissedmyfor
eheadand
pr
essedmetohischestthenwewenttoot
her
s.
Mom wascry
ingli
keI'
m dying.
Ideci
dedtogotoCapeTownj ustmeandmy
son.Ineedameandmychi ldr
enti
mealone.I
wantedtogowithThandotoobutsher
efused.
Youknowshewi l
lal
way sbemychil
dnomat ter
howgr ownshehas
Thando:
“Wegoi
ngt
omi
ssy
ousi
s”
Me:“Wewi
l
lSky
peev
ery
daysweet
hear
t”We
hugged
Mom:“Youdon'
thavetogoIssyImeanyou
can'
tbealonei
nyourcondi
ti
on”shesobbed
Me:
“Iwi
llbef
ineMamai fsomet
hinghappensI
wi
ll
call
GogoCy nt
hia”
Dad:“
Orcal
luswewillt
akeaj
et..
.st
opcryi
ng
myloveshewil
lbefi
newehavetot r
usthershe
knowswhatsheisdoi
ng”Hewipedmom' s
tear
s
I
na:
“Takecar
eofy
our
sel
fTwi
nni
e”
Me:“
Iwill
do”Wehuggedt
henheki
ssedmy
f
orehead.
I
na:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Hepi
ckedupLami
andbumpedf
istwi
thhi
m
“
Takecar
eofmommynehboy
”
Lami
:
“Sur
eLume”
Ihuggedev eryoneexceptMjwhowasnother e
withoutus.Hehav enotbeenhimsel
flatel
yI
don'tknow whati sgoi
ngonwi t
hhim Ifel
tbad
thatI'
ml eavi
ngwi t
houtknowi
ngwhati s
botheri
nghim butImadei tanotet
hatIwill
Skypehim.
Igetalongwit
hallmysibli
ng,theyf
inditeasy
total
ktowit
hmemor ethenIfounditeasyto
tal
ktothem.Ilov
eandr espectthel
ovethey
haveformeitsmagical
,oneofmybl essi
ngs.
Me:
“Il
ovey
oual
lfami
l
y”
Them:
“Wel
ovey
out
oo”
Wewereatt
heair
portbyt
hewayIdidn'twant
t
hej
etIwantedt
oexperi
encethosehourson
t
heai
rrememberit
smyf i
rstt
ime.
Dad:
“Spi
roisalr
eadyt
herehewillbeyourdr
iver
andyourguardIuset
ohaveenemi esi
nCape
TownIdon'twanttot
akechances”
Me:
“Wewi
l
lbesaf
edaddyt
hankt
hough”He
ki
ssedLami
'
sfor
ehead
Lami
:
“Lov
eyouKhul
u”
Dad:“
Lov
eyout
oomyboy
”Mom coul
dn'
tst
op
cr
ying
Me:“
Mom wewi
l
lhav
eanacci
dentst
opcr
ying
pl
ease”
Mom:“
I'
m sor
ryi
tsj
ustt
hat
..
.”shecr
iedhar
derI
pul
l
edherinmyarms
Me:“Iwi
llbebackbef
oreyouknowitokay
”she
nodded.Iwipedhert
ear
sandkissedher
for
ehead.
Mom:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Mom:
“Youwi
l
lbebacksur
esur
e?”
Me:“
YeahMama”Sheki ssedmycheekt henl
et
goofme.Weshar edonegr ouphug.Ihave
beentoocomfor
tableandf orgotmypri
ori
ti
es
i
tsti
met opul
lmyselftogetherandgetmy
pri
ori
ti
esstr
aightwhichar
emychi
l
dren'
sli
ves
andthei
rhappiness.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
Ithav
ebeenaweeksi nceshebrokeupwithme
Ican'
tcopewit
houther .If
eell
ikeI'
m dyi
ngIt
s
hurtt
obreat
heev er
ybr eat
hItakeit
'ssuff
ocat
e
mecozIcan'tl
ivewithouther.
Mywhol ewor l
discrumblingIl
ostherandIm
afraidtof acet hereal
it
ythatthi
sti
mei t'
s
forev er
.Shei snev ercomingbacktomeandI
don' tblameher .Maybeit
'sfort
hebestshe
almostl ostourbabybecauseofmyer r
ati
c
violentbehav iorthatIdon'
tknowwher eit
's
comi ngf r
om.
Lastni
ghtIwast
hiscl
osefrom taki
ngmyl i
fe
whenmom caughtme.Idon'tunder
standwhy
di
dshestopme.Thisi
snol i
fe,Il
ostevery
thi
ng
wit
hat wi
nkl
ingofaneye.Il
ostmyl egs,my
manhoodbutmostimportant
lyIlostmyother
hal
f.Thel
oveofmylif
etheonlyper sonwho
haseverl
ovemeunconditi
onall
yandt hewon'
t
beanyoneaft
erher
.
Shedi
deveryt
hingtoshowmehowmuchshe
l
ovemeshepamper smel ikeababy
,spoi
l
sme
andpour
sallherl
ovetome.Shemakemef eel
l
ikeI
'mtheonlymostlovedmanintheworl
d.
Therearefewi fnoneofthewomenwhowi l
l
sti
ckwithamanwhoi sonthewheelchairand
takecareofhim.Womanwhowi l
lfi
ndherman
i
nact i
onwi t
hpr ost
it
utesinherhouseandst i
ll
careforhim.Womenwhowi l
lcl
eanagr own
assman' sshit
.
Thatv er
ysamemanwhohav ebeent r
eatingher
l
iketrashIguessbesekufikeekugci
neni.She
real
lyputupwi t
hmyshi tIwanttolethergoso
thatshecanfindthehappinessshedeser vebut
myhear tdoesn'
twanttolethergo.
Ihear
dMamaspeaki ngont hephoneIcoul
dtel
l
byherconver
sat
ionthatsheisspeaki
ngwith
myKitKat
.Iwheeledmyselftowar
dsher
Me:
“I
sthatKat
”shelookedatme“Letmetalk
t
oherMamaKat !Katbaby
!I'
m sor
ryIl
oveyou!”
Mom:
“Sheendedt
hecal
l
”
Me:“
Youar
elyi
ngmaangi
vemet
hephone!
!”I
hel
dherwr
istt
ight
ly
Mom:
“Youar
ehur
ti
ngmePhakamani
!
”
Me:
“Gi
vemet
hephone!
”
Mom: “
Phakamaniletgoofmywristi
t'
shurt”
tear
srandownherf aceIl
etgoofherwri
st.Oh
Lordwhatishappeningt
ome!!
Me:
“MamaI
'
m sor
ry”
Mom: “I
my ourmotherIshouldn'tgiv
eupony ou
butIhav ehadenoughwi t hyouPhakamani .You
keepget t
ingwor seever
y dayandy ouhav e
stoppedhav ingsessi
onswi ththepsy chol
ogistI
don'tknowhowam Igoi ngtohel pnow.Ihad
enoughofyourf
atherbeat
ingmeupIwont
haveyoudoingt
hesameshi tI
m sor
ry”
Me:
“I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ryy
oucan'
tgi
veuponmet
oo”
Mom:“I
m sor
ry”Shedi
sappear
edandcame
backwi
thherbags
Me:
“Mamangi
yaxol
i
saI
..
.”
Mom:“
Ilovey
ouson”Shewheel
edawayher
bagsl
eavi
ngmeintear
s.
Me:“
Mymom t oohavegi
venuponme.The
whol
ewor l
dhavegiv
enuponmeI '
m al
onenow
agai
nsti
t.Whydon'
tyoutakemeLordt
hisi
s
toomuch”
“
Youst
il
lhav
eme”Ilookedup“Latoy
awhatar
e
y
oudoi
ngherehowdidyougetin”
Toya:
“Thegat ewasopenaswel l
asthedoor”
Shestrut
tedtowar dsmeandsatonmyl ap“Im
hereforyou.Forgotaboutthosewhoturnthei
r
backsony outheynev erdeser
vedyou”She
wipedmyf aceandki ssedme.
[
06/
02,
11:
22]W:
86
KHETHOKUHLE
•
ThankGodwear ri
vedsafelythewaymom was
cryi
ngIwasstart
ingtobepessi misti
cabout
thi
sjourney
.You'
dswearI '
m dy i
ngbutI
underst
andithav
en'tbeenay earsincethey
foundmesomehowshest il
lfeelsli
keit
'sa
dream.Spir
owasalreadywaitingforus.
Spi
ro:
“Hel
l
oMi
ssSi
thol
e”
Me:
“Cutt
hef
ormal
i
tiesSpi
roI
'
m KatorI
ssy
”
Spir
o:“Howar ey
ouMi ssSit
hol
e? ”Ilookedat
him andsaidnothi
nghechuckled“ Aretheseall
yourbagsMi ssSit
hole?
”Imaintainmysi lence
“OkayfineIgeti
tIssyorKatsothesear eall
yourbags”Ichuckled
Me:
“YesSpir
o”Hetookt
hemybagsandl oaded
t
hem ontheboott
henopenedthedoorforusat
t
hebackseat.Wegoti
nhet henwentt
ohi s
si
de.Hegoti
nandst
art
edt
heengi
ne.“
You
knowwherear
eyout
aki
ngusr
ight
?”
Spir
o:“Yes”Therestoft
hedr i
vewasfil
l
edwith
si
lence.Wear r
ivedatGranpaCal
vin'
sholi
day
house.
It
sbeautif
ulandhugewhatIlikemor eabouti
t
i
st hati
tsnexttothesea.WeenteredandIt
evenlookmor ebeaut
ifulont
heinside
Me:
“Wow”
Spi
ro:
“Per
fecti
sn'
t?
”
Me:
“Per
fecti
sanunder
stat
ementi
tsapal
ace”
Spir
o:“
Iwi l
lputtheseupst
air
s”Ihel
dLami'
s
handaswef ol
lowedhimtothebedroom.“
You
wantat our”
Me:“Yespl
ease”
Heshowedmearoundt
he
house“Soyouwil
lbest
ayi
ngwi
thus?”
Spi
ro:
“Yesbutyouwon'
tev
ennoti
cemenot
unl
essifyoudon'
twantmeto”
Me:
“Noit
snotIwasj
ustaski
ngpl
ust
hehouse
i
shuge”
Spir
o:“
Wil
lyouneedany
thi
ngIcant
akey
out
o
town”
Me:
“I
mtir
edIwantt
orestcany
oupl
easeget
meafewthi
ngs”
Spir
o:“
Ofcoursey
ouhav et
orest
.Wr
it
emea
l
istofever
ythi
ngyouneed”
Me:“
Youknowhowt
odogr
ocer
ythough?
”He
l
aughed
Spi
ro:“
YesIal
way saccompanymymom when
sheisgoi
ngtodogr ocer
y”Il
ookedathi
m
“Whatyoudontbeli
eveme?”
Me:“
NoIbel
ieveyou”Iwr
otet
hel
i
stf
orhi
m and
gav
ehim money.
Spi
ro:
“Iwi
l
lbacksoon”
Me:“Sur
e”Hewalkedout.Ibreat
hedoutloudl
y
andwalkedtobalconyt
heviewwasperfectand
theseabreezewassoothi
ngonmyskin
Lami
:
“Whati
sthatKi
tKat
”
Me:
“I
tsasea”
Lami
:
”Mmhitl
ooksni
ce”Ther
ewer
echi
l
dren
whower
epl
ayi
ngonthesand.
Me:“
Iwil
ltakeyout
omor
rowt
opl
ayt
her
eri
ght
nowI'
mt i
red”
Lami :
”YayyouareawesomeKi tKat!”Igi
ggl
ed.
Myf eetwerepainfulandswol l
en.Iwenttothe
bathroom andpourhotwat eront hebasinand
saltthentookthetowel.Il
ookedf ormy
sleepersandgav eLami .Wewentt othel
ounge
andsatt hereIsoakedmyf eetont hewater
“Youf eetar
eswol l
enKitKat”hecrouchedin
frontofthebasinandsplashedwat eronmy
feet
Me:
“Mh”
Lami
:
“Im sor
ry”
Me:“
Thankyoumyl
ove”Whenthewat
erwas
col
dItookoutmyf
eetandwi
pedmyfeet
Lami:
“Iwil
lwi
pey ouMama”Ial
l
owedhimtodo
asheplease“Lumesai
dImusttakecar
eof
you”Ismil
ed
Me: “
Andyouareboyt
hankyousomuch”I
helpedhi
m wipedmyfeett
henIwentt
odi
scar
d
thewater
.
Icamebackandsatdownbef oreswitchi
ngon
theTV.Hef orcedmetorestmyf eetonhisti
ny
l
aps.Het i
ckledmyfeet“
AymaanLami ”He
giggl
edandt ickl
edmeagainIlaughed
“Yabonake”
Lami:“
Iwon'tt
ickl
ey ouagain”If
li
ppedthrough
thechannel
smyey escaughtaninter
est
ing
mov i
e.If
elthi
st i
nyfinger
sonmyf eetti
ckli
ng
me
Me:“
Lami
!”Hegi
ggl
edhegotacut
estgi
ggl
e
ev
er
Lami
:“Sor
ryKi
tKat
”hesaidgiggl
ing.Ir
emov
ed
myfeetfr
om hi
slapsandti
ckledhim
Me: “
Whoisthebossnow”Hegiggl
edunt
ilhi
s
voicecoul
dn'
tcomeouttear
scomingoutofhi
s
eyes
Lami:“
You..
.are.
..
the.
..
boss.
..
mommy
”I
stoppedt
ickl
inghim.
Me:
“Ai
nty
ouhungr
y?”
Lami
:
“Iam”
Me:“
Spir
oiscomingwit
hfood”Heinched
cl
oserandsatbet
weenmyt hi
ghsrest
inghi
s
headonmyt ummy.It
ookmyi padandSkyped
Mama.
Mom:“
Baby”shewasl
eani
ngagai
nstt
hehead
oft
hei
rbed.
Me:
“St
il
lcr
ying?
”shegi
ggl
ed
Mom:“Uhhhm nooo”shesoundedweir
dher
facewasredandhereyeslookedsosexyand
small
.
Me:
“Mom ar
eyouokay
”
Mom:
“Ohhhy
esbabbydi
dyouar
ri
vesaf
ely
?”
Me:
“Yesy
oudon'
tsoundokayt
hough”
Mom:“I
mfi
nebabyI
'm gl
adyouarear
ri
ve..
.Ohh
myGoodGod”shey
elpedshut
ti
nghereyes
cl
osed
Me:
“Ma?
”
Dad'
sfaceappear
edonherbr
eastl
i
cki
nghi
s
l
ips.
Dad:
“Heyl
i
ttl
eangel
”
Me:
“Godwer
eyou.
..
.by
e”
“
Wel
ovey
out
oo”Theybot
hscr
eamedIgi
ggl
ed.
Lami:“
MommyIwantt ospeaktoDaddy ”Ihate
thefactt
hatmychil
drenespecial
lyLami wil
lbe
aff
ectedbyoursepar
ation.If
eelli
keIfail
edmy
son.“Mama”hesaidpulli
ngmyi Pad
Me:“
Youwant?”Hei
sli
kethatwhenhewant
somethi
nghenagunt
ily
ougiveitt
ohi
m.
Lami
:
“CanIpl
ease”ISky
pehi
sfat
hermyhear
t
wasonski
ppi
ngmode.Heappear
edIbi
temy
l
iphel
ookedbr
oken.
PK:“
MyKi
tKatoht
hanky
ousomuchhowar
e
you”
Me:
“I
mfi
nehowar
eyou”
PK:“
ImissyoubabyIcan'tst
opthi
nki
ngabout
youI'
m sor
rypl
easecomebackt omeIwi l
l
changemybehaviorIsweari
fIdon'
tyoucan
havemearrest
ed”
“Baby”afami
li
arvoi
cesaidontheothersi
de
thensheappear
edandkissedhischeek“Oh
heyfri
end”
Me:“HiLat
oya”Ifel
tsharppainofjeal
ousyand
betr
ayalbutImaint
aintohidethatfr
om them.
I
al
way sknewthatLatoyaisnotgoodhenceI
tr
iedtocutti
eswithher.
PK:
“Baby
..
.”
Me:“
Lamiwantt
otal
kwithyou”IgaveLamithe
I
Padbef
orehesai
danyt
hing.Outofal
ldidhe
hadtor epl
acemewi t
hLatoyashewasev en
wearinghisshi
rt
.Myf av
ouri
teoutofhisshirt
s.
Allt
histimeshehavebeenchecki
ngoutonmy
babyImeanPK.Mxm y ouknowwhatt hey
deserveeachother
.I'
m donehurti
ngov erhim.
Spir
osnappedmeoutofmyt houghts
Spi
ro:
“I
ssyar
eyouokayy
ouar
ecr
ying”
Me:
“I
mfi
ne”Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Spi
ro:
”Ar
eyousur
eyouokay
?”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbef
ineSpi
ro”
Spi
ro:
“Comel
et'
sgo”
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngmet
o?”
Spi
ro:“
Outsidet
rustmet
heseabr
eezehav
ea
magicalt
hing”
Me:
“I
'm hungr
yandLami
too”
Spi
ro:
“Justf
orf
ewmi
nut
eswewi
l
lcomeback”
Lami:
“Her
emommy ”It
ookmyi
padand
swi
tchedi
tof
f.Iwasi
nnomoodforPKwi
thhi
s
sor
ri
es
Me:
“Let
sgot
otheseababy
”
Lami
:
“Now?
”hebeamed
Me:“Yes”Wemadeourwayoutandwentt
othe
sea.Lamiwasal
readyr
unni
ngaway.
Spi
ro:
“Ar
eyouscar
edofwat
er”
Me:
“Noar
eyou?
”Henodded
Il
aughed“
Dudehowol
dar
eyou?
”
Spi
ro:
“Mxm uyaphapha”Igiggled.Westr
oll
ed
onthesandli
steni
ngtohissill
yj okehei
sa
goodcompany.Hisphoner anghesl i
dhi
shand
i
ntohispant
sandt ookitout“Excuseme”
Me:
“Sur
e”
Spir
o:“Baby
”Hesaidasheexcusedhimsel f
.
Lami camerunni
ngtomecryi
ng.Icouldn'twai
t
forhimtoreachmeImethim hal
fandpi cked
him up
Me:
“Boywhati
sit
?”
Lami
:
“She.
.shehi
tmeMama”mybl
oodboi
l
ed
Me:
“Who?
”
Lami:“
Thatgirl”Byt
heti
meIwal kedtot
hegir
l
herf
at herIassumewasapproachingme
hol
dingherhand.TheygotclosetousdamnifI
wasn'tli
vidIwouldsayt
hisguyisasauce.
Me:“
Ist
hisgi
rlbaby
? ”Lami noddedandbur
ied
hi
sheadonmyneck“ Yourdaughterhi
tmyson
Mrshehavetoapologise”
Guy
:“Hei
stheonet
hatki
ssedher
!”
Me:“Sowhatifheki
ssedhersheshoul
dhav
e
nothithi
m!”
Guy
:“Thati
ssexual
har
assment
!!
”Il
aughed
Me:“
Geeguyt heyar
eki
dssexual
harassmentat
t
hiskindofage.Whatt
hef
uckisthat
!!
”
Guy:“
Thathowchi
l
drengrowupandbecome
rapi
stsbi
tch!
”myarmpi
tssweatIputLami
down
Me:“Whoareyoucall
i
ngbi
tchasshol
e?”I
walkedcl
osertohi
m andl
ookedathi
mi nthe
ey
es
Guy:“Whatareyougonnadopr egnantbi
tch!
”I
ki
ckedhim onhismanhoodwi thmykneehe
groaned“Fuck!
”Helookedatmeasi fheis
searchi
ngsomet hi
ng“WaitIknowy ou”
Me:
“Noy
oudon'
t”
Guy
:“Ido”
Me:
“Noy
oudon'
t”
Guy:“
Letmet hink”Het r
iedtoremember“ I
coul
dbewr ong2y earsbackIfoundaladythat
wasbeat enuplyinghopelessItookherto
hospi
tal.IhadbusinessthatIhadtoattendthi
s
si
dewhenIcamebackt oJozi shewas
di
scharged”
Me:
“Ohmywor
ld”Iwhi
sper
ed
Guy
:“I
sthaty
ou?
”
Me:
“Yeswow”Hechuckl
ed
Guy:
“Wowi
ndeedInev
ert
houghtwewi
l
lmeet
agai
n”
Me: “
Ial
wayswantedtomeety
ouandt
hanky
ou
forsavi
ngmyli
fe.Thanky
ousomuchmayGod
blessyou”
Guy
:“I
m Muzomuhl
eXaba”
Me:“Nkosi
sthandil
eSit
hole”Hehel
douthis
handweshookhandssomet hi
ngelectr
ic
happend.Wel ockedeyesoneachothernot
breaki
ngthehandshake.
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Inafor
gavemeforwhatIsai
dtohim.Iwasver
y
wrongIknow.Mvel
owascomi nginbet
weenus
andhehaven'
tapol
ogi
zedtomef orwhathedi
d.
Hewasalsosteal
ingt
hingsher
einthehouset
o
buydr
ugs.Yesheisusi
ngIhadt ol
ethi
m goas
muchasithur
tthathehadnowheretogo.
Thepr eparat
ionsf ortheweddingaretaking
pl
aceIhopet histimet heweddi
ngwillhappen
bakithi
.Theweddi ngi s3weeksawayI '
m so
anxiousIwantev erythingtogowellt
histime.I
swearifwedon' tgetmar r
iedt
hatdaywewi ll
nevergetmar ri
ed.
“Youpromisemet hataftert
hisshootyouwil
l
restbaby”Hekissedthesideofmyhead.We
wereintheloungecuddlingonthesofa.Ti
me
wasar ound4pm.Theki dswentoutwiththei
r
nanny.
Me:
“Butbaby
..
.”
I
na:
“Na.
ahbabyy
oupr
omi
sed”
Me:“
Okayfi
ne”I'
m donewi
tht
hedr
amashoot
nowIcanbreat
he.
I
na:
“Thanky
ousomuchmyl
ove”
Me:
“I
ssywi
l
lbeher
efort
heweddi
ng?
”
I
na:
“Shehav
eto”
Me:
“Whathappenedbet
weenherandPK?
”
I
na:“Idon'
tknowlovewhatev
eri
tismustbe
hugef orI
ssytoendthi
ngsandIcanseei
tin
hereyesthati
tsfor
ever”
Me:“
It
ssadIwashopingitwi
ll
beadouble
weddingl
i
keyourf
atherandAuntSwel
i
hle”
I
na:
“Ahwel
lnever
thel
essal
lIwantnj
eismy
t
wintobehappy”
Me:
“I
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou”
I
na:“
Iwi
llmi
ssy
out
oowhendoy
ouhav
etogo
home?”
Me:
“Nextweek”
I
na:“Ican'
twai
tforev
ery
onet
oknowy
ouar
e
mine”
Me:
“Met
oo”Iki
ssedhi
m.
Theki
ssdeepenedhepull
edmecl oset
ohi
n
andenter
edtwofinger
sIgasped.Wewere
di
stur
bedhisr
ingi
ngphone.
I
na:
“Unknown.
..
.whoar
eyou?
..
.ify
oudar
e
t
ouchthem I
'
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lyou!
!!
”Fuck!He
r
oared
Me:
“Whatbaby
”
Ina:“
Yourbrot
herisowi
ngadrugdeal
erand
theytookthekidsandt
henanny”myhear
t
skippedabeat
Me:“
Noyouhavet
ofi
ndt
hem babypl
ease”I
st
art
edcr
ying.
I
na:“
Iwil
lsor tthi
spleasecalm down.Iwil
lbr
ing
backourkidssaf eandsound.Ihopethisi
snot
oneofMv elo'spl
ancozI '
m goi
ngt oki
llhi
m!”

[
06/
02,
11:
25]W:
87
KHETHOKUHLE
•
“I
fIknewy ouwil
lki
ckmyball
sIwoul
dnthave
savedyou”Igi
ggledandl
etmyhandl
osefrom
hi
smoi
stpal
m.
Me:
“Youcal
l
edmeabi
tchdude”
Muz
i:
“I
'm sor
rypl
easef
orgi
veme”
Me:
“For
giv
emet
oo”
Muz
i:
“Noprobl
em Misskickbal
l
s”Il
aughed
“
Youhaveabeaut
if
ul l
aughMisski
ckball
s”
Me:“
ThankyouMrsexualharassment ”He
l
aughedItookagoodlookathi m ashedi dso.
Hehavedimplesyouguysandl ongeyelashes.
Hisl
ips*swal
lowedspi
t*are.
..
ohmyGoodGod
kwashoMamaIf oundmy sel
flaughing
Muz
i:
“Car
etoshar
ethej
oke?”
Me:
“Nah.Tel
lmewhatshoul dIdotothanky
ou
f
orsavi
ngmyl i
fe.Ican'
tbel
i
eveIfoundyou”
Muz i
:“
Ourki
dsmadeusf i
ndeachother”We
giggl
edandthatwhenwesawt hem wal
ki
ng
awaylooki
ngsocosy“Yourboyissucha
charmer”
Me:“
Yetyouaccusedhim ofsexualhar
assment
dudewherear
ey oufr
om”Wel aughed
Muz
i:
“Whatawayt
omeethey
”
Me:
“Tr
uet
hat
”
Muz i
:
“Speakingofmaki ngituptomemybal l
s
areburni
ngMi sskickball
sy ouhavetoki
ssit
bett
er”Ishotmyey esuphel aughed“
Lookat
you”Ichuckled“Youdon'thavetomakeitupto
meIdi ditf
ormy selfIwassav i
ngmywi f
e”I
coul
dn'thel
pbutbl ush.
Issywhatareyoudoi
ngmyinnerv oi
ce
repri
mandedmeIkeptastr
aightface.Hi
sli
ps
curvedsweetl
yIwant
edtoki
sst hem hi
sli
ps
nothim
Me:
“Butt
her
emustbesomet
hingIshoul
ddo”
Muz i
:
“Ofcoursewhichi
stomar r
yme”He
remov edmyhaironmyfaceandlookedatme
deeplyinmyeyesdzaaam whatahotguy.
Me:
“I
..
..
.”Iwant
edt
osaysomet
hingbutwor
ds
gotst
ucki
nmyt
hroat
Muzi
:“Sshhy
oudon'thav
et osayanyt
hing”He
pr
essedhisfi
ngeronmylips.myhear
twas
j
umpingoutofmychest.
“I
sthereanyprobl
em here”ThatwasSpi
roI
st
eppedback.Hemi ghtbemyguar dandmy
dri
verbutIr
especthi
m.
Me:
“Uhm noSpi
ro”
Spi
ro:
“MmhGoodcozIdon'
twantt
ocausea
hav
oconaguy'
sface”
Muz
ichuckl
edandmumbl
edsomet
hing
“Whatdi
dy ousay
”Hesai
dwal ki
ngcloseto
hi
m unti
lther
ewasnospacebetweenthem.
Muz
i:
“Not
hing”
Spiro:
“Thoughtasmuch”Hest eppedbackand
tookmyhand“ Let
sgo”Hecal l
edoutf orLami.
Wewal kedawayIturnedbackMuzi wasst i
l
l
standi
ngt her
ehebl ewmeaki ss.Igi
ggledha.a
Issymusaukubaut hatheki
ledon'
tforgotwhat
br
oughtyouherefr
om t
hef
ir
stpl
ace.MENy
ou
ar
ebett
erwithoutt
hem.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
“
WhatthefuckLat
oya!
”Ipushedhershef
all
on
t
hef
loorandwinced.
Toy
a:“
Ouch”
Me:“
Im sor
rybutIdon'
tl
ikewhatyouj
ustdi
d?
Kati
syourfri
endforcr
yingoutl
oudhowcan
youdothattoher
!!
”
Toya:
“Youarenolongert oget
heri fshei s
stupi
dtoletgoofagr eatmanl ikeyouwhat
shoul
dwedo”shegetupf rom thefloor.I
l
ookedatt hi
sgir
lincredul
ously.Ithoughtsheis
agoodf r
iendnowonderKatst ar t
edf eeli
ng
somet y
pawayaboutherandIal way sthought
sheisbeingimpossible.
Me:
“Youar
emar
ri
edLat
oya!
!”
Toy
a:“WasI
'
m si
ngl
enowbaby
”shebr
ushed
myface
Me:“Latoyagetawayf
rom me!Youevilbit
ch
whatev enmakey out
hinkyouandIcanbe
together.Youar
enotKat!Youwil
lneverbe
her!
!”
Toya:
“Youareindeni
alt
hatshel
efty
oubutit
's
under
standabl
eI'
m apati
entl
ady
”Thisgi
rl
madodawhodoest hat!
Me:
“GetoutofmyhouseLat
oya”
Toy
a:“
Whatdoy
ouwannaeatt
oday
?”
Me:
“Isai
dgett
hef
uckout
!!
”
Toya:“
Don'tworr
yIwi l
lfi
ndmywayt othe
ki
tchen”Shedisappearedaggg!Myphoneran
j
ustthenIwheeledmy selft
otheglasst
able
andtookit
.Mybr otherwascall
ingme
Me:
“Jabu”
Jabu:
“Whatt
hef
ucki
swr
ongwi
thy
ouhuh!
!”
Me:
“Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”
Jabu:“
Mom cameher
ecr
yinghesai
dyouhur
t
her!
!”
Me:“I
m sorr
ybutiIdi
dntmeanto.Idon'
tknow
whereisthi
sangercomingfr
om.Pleasetel
lher
I
'm sorr
y”
Jabu:
“Fir
styoupushedKatawaynowit
smom
youwill
diealonePhakamani
.Pi
ckyour
sel
fup
maan!!
”
Me:“
Ineedy
ouIneedmom IneedKatpl
ease
don'
tgi
veuponmeI'm beggi
ngy
ou”
Jabu:“
Youneedtoprovet oust haty
ouar e
will
i
ngtopickyour
selfup!Startbyattendi
ng
thosepsychol
ogi
stsessionsthenwewi l
lmeet
youhalfway!
!”
Me:“
Im notcr
azybrot
herIj
ustneedmyKi
tKat
backIwil
lbeokay”
Jabu:
“ThatsameKitKaty
oudrov
eawaywith
yourv
iolence!St
opannoyi
ngmePhakamani
!”
Me:
”Jabu..
.”Heendedthecall
hewassoangry
mybrotherisal
wayscalm.Isi
ghedheav
il
y.
Whathav eIdonetodeservethi
spaininmyl i
fe.
JustasIwasaboutt owheelmy sel
ftothe
ki
tchentokickthatbi
tchoutmyphoner ang.My
heartski
ppedabeatwhenIl ookedatthe
screenIcoul
dn'thel
pbutsmi l
e.
Me:“MyKitKatoht hanky
ousomuchhowar e
you”shelookedsobeaut i
fulIwasn'
tfami
l
iar
withherbackground
Kat
:“
Imf
inehowar
eyou”
Me:“ImissyoubabyIcan'
tst
opthi
nkingabout
youI'm sor
rypl
easecomebacktomeIwi l
l
changemybehav i
orIsweari
fIdon'
tyoucan
havemear rest
ed”
“Baby”sai
dLatoyaandki ssedmycheek.“ Oh
heyfri
end”Whatthef uckiswrongwi t
hthisgir
l
IsawKat '
seyesgli
steningwithtearsbutIcoul
d
seethatshewast r
yingt ohi
dethepain.My
angertowardsthi
sgirlgrewwhatt hehell
!!
Kat
:”Hi
Lat
oya”
Me:
“Baby.
..”IpushedLat
oyaawayjustwhenI
wasabouttoexplai
nKatcutmeof
f
“Lami wanttotalkwithyou”Lami appeared
seeinghisfacemel t
edmyhear t.Lordknows
howmuchdoIl ovethisboyIhatethatthisi
s
goingtoaffecthimt oothatwhyIhav etoget
backhisMamar i
ghtwhereshebel onginmy
arms.
Lami
:
“Daddy
”
Me:
“Hel
l
obabyboyhowar
eyou”
Lami:
“I
m notababyDaddyI'
m abigboynow
Im”Heshowedmehi s3fi
ngers.Il
aughed
Me:
“OhI
'
m sor
rybi
gboyar
eyougood”
Lami
:
“Yeshowar
eyou?
”
Me:
“I
m al
sof
ineIj
ustmi
ssy
ou”
Lami
:“
Imissy
outoowhydi
dn'
tyoucomewi t
h
usDaddy
.Wecameherewi
thanair
planeI
twas
socool
”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ljoi
nyouguy
slat
erwher
ear
eyou”
Lami:
“CatTownther
e'sahugepoolher
e
mommysai dit
'saseashewil
ltakemethere
tomor
row.Youhavetocomedaddy ”Il
aughed
Me:“
CapeTownnotCatTown”Hegi
ggl
edand
hi
dehisf
acewit
hhishand
Lami
:
“CapeTowny
es”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ltal
ktoy
ourmot
herf
ir
st”
Lami
:
“OkayDaddyIl
ovey
ou”
Me:“
Ilov
eyoutoomyboy”Icoul
dhearaman'
s
voi
ceontheot
hersi
despeaki
ngtoKat
“
Issyar
eyouokayy
ouar
ecr
ying”
Kat
:“
Imf
ine”
”
Arey
ousur
eyouokay
?”
Kat
:“
Iwi
l
lbef
ineSpi
ro”
“
Comel
et'
sgo”
Kat
:“Wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngmet
o?”
“Out
sidetrustmetheseabr eezehavea
magicalthi
ng”Whoi sthatmannow?Hadshe
repl
acedmesoqui ckly.I
sthatwhytheyar ein
Capetoseehernewman.Nononot hiscan't
behappeningKatismi neandmi nealone!!If
elt
mywhol ebodyshiveri
ngmyhear tpainedthatI
coul
dn'tf
eel i
tbeat
ing
Me: “
Givey ourmot hert hei Pad”Ihav etotalkto
herIhav etoexpl aint hatit'
snotwhati t'
sl ook
l
ike.Iwillnev erbet rayherl i
ket hatespeciall
y
withherfriendLat oy a.Isawherf acethen
everythi
ngwasbl ankaf terthat.“ aahhfuck! !
”I
screamedi nfrust r
at i
onandt hr ewmyphoneon
thewal l
.Ilostherandshei smov i
ngon, shei s
mov ingon, sheismov ingont hosewor ds
echoedi nmyear st her oom f eltl
ikeitwas
spinningandIcoul dn'tbr eathitslikesomeone
wassqueezi ngt heai routofme.Ev ery
thing
becamebl urrythenl i
ghtwer eout .
•
LATOYA
•
I'
m LatoyaMnqabeev erybodyknowmeasKat '
s
fri
end.I'
mf r
om PortEl i
zabethIcamethissi
de
becauseoft onsofjoboppor tuni
ti
es.I
'
m dumb
actual
lybuty ouhavenor ighttocal
lmethat.I
fail
edmygr ade103t i
messoIdeci dedtoquit,
studentswerelaughingatmeIcoul dn'
ttakeit
anymor e.
Mypar entswerenotpleasedatal li
tdidn'
thel
p
thattheyarebothteachers.Soinordertomake
alivi
ngIhadt ofi
ndwor k.Havingar i
ch
husband,bighouseandbeaut iful
babieshas
alwaysbeenmydr eam sinceIwasal i
ttl
egir
l.
WhenImetLuy oloIsawmydr eam comingtr
ue
buthewasn'ti
nterestedingetti
ngmarri
edand
al
lthatwhenIfoundmy sel
finvol
vedwit
h
TbosebutwhenLuy ol
ogavemewhatIhav e
beendreamingforIhadt oletgoofTbose.
Iwouldn'
tcall
whatwehadl ovei
twasaf li
ng.
From t
hefi
rstdayImetKatIenv i
edher .Yes
sheistwoyearsyoungerthenmebutshehad
ever
ythi
ngIeverwantedev enherpersonali
ty
shehaveapervadingaurathatwhatattract
guystohermostl
yexceptherbeaut y
.
Despiteoftheroughl i
feshehadwhenshewas
growingupshei sstil
lstandingstrongl i
ke
neverbefore.If
eltreal
lybetrayedwhenIf ound
herwithTboseinbed.Shewasnev ersuppose
tofuckmyexwhet herImov edonornotf r
iends
don'tdothattoeachot her.Ihavebeenkeepi ng
tabsonherhenceIknowev erythi
ngt hatis
happeninginherlif
e.
Iknowt hatshel ef
tPKcozhewasabusi ngher
.
SoIt houghtletmet r
ymyluckwhoknowsI
mightbel uckyandgetmyselfthi
sgorgeous
ri
chguy .Iwillbehit
ti
ngt
wobi r
dswithone
stone.
Iwi
l
lfi
nal
l
yhav
emyr
ichhusbandandgetback
toKatshewillf
eelhowitpainswhenyour
fr
iendfuckyourex.Idi
ditonpurposet
ogr eet
herwhenshewasonSky pewithPKthelookon
herfacewaspricel
esseventhoughshetri
edto
suppressi
t.
Iwascookingi
nthekitchenwhenIheardPK
scr
eaming.Iwi
pedmyhandswi thadishcl
oth
andrushedtot
helounge.
Me: “
PK”Ifel thispulseitwasfaintIpani cked
andcal l
edt heambul ance.Whilewai ti
ngf oritI
wentt othemast erbedroom andwearKat '
s
sissyboyrippedj ean,redoffshoul dert
-shirt
andsandal s.Luckilytheambulancegother e
beforeIexpect edit.Uponarri
val hewasr ushed
toER.Iwaspaci ngupanddownIdi dn'tknow
whot ocallsi nceeveryonehastur nedtheirback
onhi m.
•
MZWAKHE
•
Iwasi ntodeepsl
umberwhenIf el
tmyphone
vibr
ati
ngundermypi ll
ow.If
iddl
edmyhandand
tookitthenansweredwit
houtchecki
ngt
he
call
erID
Me:
“Yes”Isai
dgr
oggi
l
y
Him:“
Arey ousleepi
nggety ourassupPKhav e
beenrushedtot hehospit
altheyaregoi
ngto
fi
ndoutwhati sinhissystem”Igotup
i
mmedi atelyt
hatwhenInot icedi
twasstil
lthe
sameday .Icamebackf rom gymthisaft
ernoon
aft
ershower i
ngItookanap.
Me:
“Shi
twhati
swr
ongwi
thhi
m”
Hi
m:“
Idon'
tknow”
Me:“Don'ttel
lmey oudon'tknowwhatam I
payingyouf or
?”Ihavesomeonet ospyPKand
Kat.ThatwhenIf oundouttheyseparatedcoz
PKhasbecomeabusi ve.Thatwasgr eatnews
tomebutt hepartthathewasabusi ngmyKat
kil
l
edmysoul Inevermeantanyofthatt o
happen.Ijustwantedtodelaytheprocessof
hisheal
ingunti
lIwinmyKatback.Idi
dn'
tknow
thi
sdrugswill
turnhimi
ntoamonst er
.
Ihavet
omakesur et
hatshenev
erf
oundout
aboutt
hiscozshewi
llki
l
lme.
Hi
m:“St
opshout
ingatmeohhanot
hert
hingKat
l
eftf
orKapa”
Me:
“Wi
thwho?
”
Hi
m:“
Wit
hyoursononl
y”
Me:“Mmm t
hat'
sni
cel
etmesor
tthi
soutt
hen
I
'm goi
ngt
here”
Hi
m:“
Mybonus”
Me:
“Youl
ovemoneyhah”
Hi
m:“
It
smaket
hewor
ldgoar
oundbr
a”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ltr
ansf
eri
tnow”
Him“Sur
e”Ihungupandt r
ansf
erthemoney .I
wenttothebathroom andspl
ashedmyf ace
wit
hwaterbeforerinsi
ngmymout h.Ishuf
fl
ed
backtomybedr oom andgotdressi
naguess
blackjean,r
edguesst-shi
rtandr
edni
ke
sneakers.It
ookmyphoneandmycarkey s
thenheadedout.Sihl
ewascookingi
nthe
kitchen
Me: “
HeyMaby eMa”Iranoutbeforeshesay
somet hingshewoul dhavemadeagr eat
detectivethisoneI'
mtell
ingyou.Questi
onsshe
havebeent hrowi
ngatmel at
elyay.Idr
oveto
thehospi t
al andenqui
redIwastoldtowaitI
gavet herecR500sheshowedmePK' sdoc.
“GreetingsDoc”
Doc:“
Youarenotsupposet
obeher
eI'
m st
il
l
busywit
hthepati
ent”
Me:
“Whati
swr
ongwi
thhi
m”
Doc:
“Ar
eyouf
ami
l
y?”
Me:“
100k”Iwhi
sper
edinhi
searsot
hatbast
ard
can'
theari
fhewasawake.
Doc“
Cometomyoffi
ce”Ismi
ledt
omy sel
fthen
wewentt
ohisof
fi
ceIsatdownaft
erhedidthe
same.“Hi
snameisPhakamani
Mngomezulu.
Wediscover
edt
hathehavemethamphet
amine
i
nhissyst
em”
Me:
“Ohr
eal
l
y?Whati
sthatact
ual
l
y?”
Doc:“Yesmet hamphetami
nei
sani l
li
citdr ugi
t
i
sneur otoxic,capabl
eofdamagi
ngdopami ne
andser otoninneuronsint
hebr
ain.Violent
behav i
orisv erycommontomethamphet amine
users”
Me:“
Icanaddanot
her100kt
okeept
hisi
nfot
o
your
sel
f”
Doc:
“NoIca.
..
.”
Me:
“300K.
..
sendmet
hebankdet
ail
sri
ghtnow”
Doc:
“Makei
t400K”Il
ookedathi
m heshr
ugged
hi
sshoul
der
s.
Me:“Okayfine”Hesmiledandsenthi
sbank
detai
ls.Wit
hinminutesever
ythi
ngwassettl
ed
whatleftnowi sf
ormet ogotoCapeTownand
bri
ngbackmyl ovet
omyar mswher eshe
bel
ong.
•
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
“Dammi tmaanwhyar etheynotcall
ingback
now!!”Iwaspacingupanddown.Iwasl osing
mymi ndever
ysecond.Ithavebeenhoursnow
waiti
ngf ort
hecall.Mywifehavebeencrying
sincethen.Wewer eathomenowIcoul dn't
l
eav eherbehindandsheneededt obewi t
h
someonewhi leItakecareofthi
s.
Dad:
“Cal
m downokayt
heywi
l
lcal
l
”Wewer
eat
hi
sstudyroom
Me:
“I
tshasbeenhour
sdad!
!”
Dad:
“Youar
einnost
atel
etmehandl
ethi
s”
Me:“Therearemykidswhoknowswhatar e
theydoingtothem nowohLor d”Ipr
essedmy
eyesshutthinki
ngthehorri
blethi
ngsmykids
couldbegoingthrough.Iwi
llneverf
orgi
ve
my
sel
fifsomet
hinghappent
othem.
Dad:
“Whi
chmaket
hem mygr
andchi
l
dren”
Me:“
Sit
ti
ngher eandwait
ingi
sdrivi
ngmecrazy
l
et'
sgoandat tackt
hosebast
ards.Mjhav
ey ou
f
indthelocat
ion?”
Mj
:
“NoI
..
.”
Me:“Doy
ouknowwhaty ouaredoinghuhy ou
hav
ebeensitt
ingforhoursstar
ingatthat
l
aptopst
il
lnot
hingayy ouareuselessmaan!!
”
Mj:“Whydon'tyoudoity
oursel
fMrusef ulI'
m
tr
yingokaythispeopl
earedrugdealersthey
wouldn'
tbelocatedeasi
lyI
'
m sur etheywere
undergr
oundwhent heymadet hatcall
!”
Dad:
“Yout
woneedt
ocal
m downokay
”
Me:“
Calm down?Doy
ouhearwhatar
eyou
say
ing.
..
”
Dad:
“EymaanNkosinamandlaIunder
standy
ou
aref
rust
rat
edbutyouneedtotakeyour
fr
ust
rati
onsasi
de!Thesepeopl
eonlywant
moneyt
heywon'
thur
ttheki
dsl
etwai
tfort
he
cal
l”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryI
'
mjust
..
.”
Dad:
“Iknow”Hepul
l
edmet
ohi
sar
ms.
[
06/
02,
11:
40]W:
88
NKOSI
NAMANDLA
•
“
Stayher
eI'
m gonnagoal
one”
Me:
“NoDad.
..
.”
Dad:“
Idon'
twantyoutomessthingsup
Nkosinamandl
ayouarenott
hinkingst
rai
ght
.
Thesepeoplear
edanger
ous!
!”
Wewer eatt heagreeddropoffsecludedarea
ti
mewasar ound8o'cl
ockatnight.Theyf i
nal
l
y
cal
ledandsai dtheywanted2mill
iont al
ki
ng
aboutgreedMv eloneverowedsuchbi gamount
ofmoney .
Me:
“Okay
”
Dad:
“Dontdosomet
hingst
upi
dyouhav
eto
t
rustme”
Me:
“Okay
”
Hest eppedoutoft hecartheywerealr
eady
outsideoft heircarswaiti
ngforhi
m butI
couldn'tseet hekids.Heapproachedthem t
hey
allpointedgunsathi m butheseemedt obe
unmov edbyt hat.Hethrewthesportbagto
theirdirect
ion.
Oneoft hem openedt hebagandnoddedt othe
others.Fewsecondsl atert
hekidsandt he
nannyemer gedandr ant odaddy.Iwantedto
comeoutandr untothem butdadsai dImust
staycalm.Theguy sgoti nthei
rcarsandleft
.I
couldn'thel
pmy sel
fbutr antothem aft
erthey
l
ef t
Cassi
e:”
Daddy
!”Ipi
ckedherupshehadt
ear
s
onherface
Me:
“I
m sor
rymyl
ovedaddyi
ssosor
ry”
Cassi
e:“
Iwassoscar
eddaddy
”myhear
tbr
oke
Me:”Didtheyhurtyouguy s”Theyallshookt hei
r
headsbuty ouIcouldseet hattheywer esti
ll
ter
ri
fied“Suresure”Isaidlooki
ngatt henanny
whoseemedt raumatizedthenthekids, she
nodded.Dadwascar i
ngSbongaandt henanny
wascar i
ngKhwezi .
Wewenttot
hecaranddr
ovehome.The
momentwewal
kedinKonkej
umpedonus.
Konke:“
Mybabies!”Shewantedtoscooped
them al
lupbutthatwasgoingtobeimpossibl
e
Ki
ds:
“Mommy
!”
Mom: “Di
dtheyhur
tthem?”herv
oicewas
shakingandhereyeswer
eredyoucoul
dtel
l
thatshewascryi
ngtoo
Dad:
“NahIt
oldy
out hatt
heyjustwantmoney
t
heyhadnomotiveofhurt
ingtheki
ds”
Mom:“Younev
erdi
sappoi
ntme”Shewrapped
herar
msarounddadandtheyshar
eda
l
i
nger
inghug.
Konke:
“Ar
eyouguy
snothungr
y?”
Sbonga:
“Wear
eMama”
Mom:“
Flor
aisgoi
ngt
omakesomet
hingt
oeat
f
ort
hem”
Konke:“Thanky ousomuchdadf orbri
ngi
ngmy
kidsback”Dadj ustsmi l
ed.“Thanky oufor
keepingyourpr omi seyounev erceaseto
remindmer easonswhyIchosey ououtof
them all
”Ohmant hatmeltedmyhear t
.Iwiped
hertearsandsqueezedheri nmyar ms.Wef el
t
ti
nyar mswr appingar oundourl egs
“Thanky ou”Imout hedtodadwhosmi l
edaf t
er
that
.Ifitwasntf orhi
m Iwouldhavedeal
twi t
h
thesit
uat i
oninwayt hatwasgonnacause
dangert othekids.Ijusthopet
hiswontaffect
them especial
lyCassieshehavebeentrougha
l
otalreadynkosi yami
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
AWEEKLATER
CapeTownhav ebeenawesomeI t
sexactly
whatIneededbutIhav en'
tseenMrsexual
Harassmentsincethatdayandsomehowt hat
mademef eelsometypaway .Idon'tknowwhy
butIguessitsnatur
alImeant heguysav edmy
l
if
e.
Ifitwasn'tforhim Iwouldn'
tbeher e.Mzwakhe
cameher eIdon' tknowhowdi dheknowwher e
am Iagghwhoam Iki ddi
ngSihleprobabl
ytold
him.JesusChr istthatguyisawr athonmy
noseIcan'tbreat hheissuffocati
ngme.Idon't
understandwhatnott ounderstandinthi
s
sentence"WEARENEVERGETTI NGBACK
TOGETHER"It oldSpirotosorthim outIhav
en't
seenhim sincet henthankstoSpi r
o
TodayIwasgoi
ngt
ovi
sitmygrandpar
ent
s
whichar
emymom'spar
ents.Iwokeupand
skypeThandoIhadadr
eam aboutheri
twas
notagooddream
Thando:
“Heysi
s”shesai
dgr
oggi
l
y
Me:
“Ar
eyouokay
”
Thando:
“YesIt
hinkIwi
l
lhav
efev
er”
Me:“
Tell
mom t
omaket
hatmi
xtur
eofherf
or
f
ever”
Thando:
“Wil
ldoImi
ssy
ouguy
swhenar
eyou
comingback?”
Me:
“Thedaybef
oret
heweddi
ng”
Thando:
“Noway
ssi
sthatt
woweeksaway
mos”
Me:“
IknowandI'
m sor
rybutIdi
dasky
out
o
comewithus”
Thando:
“Phel
awenayouaresi
ngl
eIcoul
dn'
t
l
eavemymanal one”Il
aughed
Me:
“Ther
ehavet
obeat i
mewherey
ouhav
eto
l
eav
ehim sot
hathecanmissy
oudon'
t
suf
focat
ehi
m”
Thando:“
Loganwil
lnev
erbesuf
focat
edby
me..
.st
il
lyouhav
en'
tmetMrHotGuyagain?
”
Me:
“Nah”
Thando:
“Yousoundsady
ouseem t
oli
ket
his
guy”
Me:
“Hei
sani
cehotguygr
rrr
”Igi
ggl
ed
Thando:
“Ut
hat
heki
l
est
ruunasi
”
Me:
“Iswearyouwoul
dt ooi
fyoucanseehi
m.
Wakhi
weloyamuntuyezwa”
Thando:
“Hei
shot
tert
hanPK”
Me:“Youknowinmyeyest
her
ewil
lnev
erbe
someonehottert
henhi
m mar
aloguyt
aket
he
cake”
Thando:
“Damn”
Me:
“Youcansayt
hatagai
nlookbabyIhav
eto
goIl
oveyou”
Thando:
“Il
ovey
ou”It
ossedmyphoneaway
andki
ssedmyson'spout
edli
pswhowas
sl
eepi
ngpeacef
ull
ythenf
all
int
osl
umberagai
n.
Iwaswokenupt hesoundofthegame.I
openedmyey esandlookedatLamiwhowas
pl
ayingagameonmyphone.Hesawme
awakeandhidethephonequickl
y.
HeknowsIdon' twanthi mtopl aygameswi t
h
myphone.Iboughthi m aphonef orgamesand
hesmashedi tagainstthewall.Youknowone
thi
nghet ookaftermei sanger.Sot hi
sother
dayhewaspl ay
ingt hegamehekeptl osi
ng
overandov erhecriedThandol aughedathim
hisangergrewhesmashedt hephoneagai nst
thewall
.
Lami:
“Hel
lomommy
”hesmi
l
edwi
del
y.Hehe
thi
ssneakyboy
Me:
“Hel
l
oboygi
vememyphone”
Lami
:
“Wher
eisi
t”
Me:
“Undery
ourbut
t”Hegi
ggl
ed
Lami:”
I'
m sor
ryMamayouwokeupmeupwi
th
yoursnori
ngandIwasbor
ed”
Me:
“AyIdon'
tsnor
e”
Lami
:
“Todayy
ouwer
e”If
rownedhegi
ggl
ed
Me:
“Gi
vememyphone”
Lami:
“Letmefi
nishplease”hepout
edhowcanI
saynotosuchcuteness
Me:
“Okay
”
Lami
“Thanky
ouKi
tKat
”Het
ooki
tandcont
inue
pl
ayi
ng
Me:“Youhavet
ohur r
yupthoughwear egoi
ng
t
ogranmaCy nt
hiaandgranpaCal v
in”Hedidn'
t
r
espondhewast oofocusont hegame
“
ThembalamiI'
mt al
ki
ngtoy ou”dolol
o
r
esponseIsnat
chedthephonef rom hi
m
Lami
:
“Maaaa!
!!
”hescr
eamed
Me:
“I
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou”
Lami
:
“What
!!
”
Me:“I
m goingt
otakemyphonephelai
fyounot
gonnahearmewhenI'
m speaki
ng”
Lami
:
“Im sor
ry”
Me:
“Wear
egoi
ngt
omygr
andpar
ent
spl
ace
t
oday”
Lami:
“OkayIwill
bef ast
”Igavehimt hephone.
Aft
erwhattookforeverhefi
nished.Ibat
hed
hi
mf i
rstanddressedhim upthenbathmy sel
f.
Aft
ereveryt
hingSpir
odroveust ogramshouse.
Gogo:
“I
fiti
sn'tmyf
avour
it
egranddaught
er”
Shesai
dwithasmileonherf
aceopeningher
armswideforme.
Me:“Hell
oGogo”Iwentt
oherar
msshe
squeezedmetight
ly
Gogo:
“Howar
eyoubaby
”sheki
ssedmycheek
Me:
“I
mfi
neGogowhatabouty
ou”
Gogo:
“Ihavebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ouwhatt
ook
yousolong”
Me:
“I
m sor
ry”
“OhthanksGodit
syouMom hav
ebeen
scr
eami ngatust
haty
ouar
enotcomingher
e”
ThatwasuncleCj
.
Gogo:
“Thati
snott
rue”
Khul
u:“
Iti
str
uehoney
”
Gogo:“
Youaregangi
nguponmenowmgodoy i
”
welaughed“Hel
l
omf anakagogo”shepi
cked
upLami whi
l
eKhuluandUncleCjhuggedme.
Me:
“Wher
eisAunt
yYol
anda”
“
Stopcall
ingmeAunt
yyouar
emaki
ngmeol
d”
Welaughed
Shei
sthelastbornanddaddy'
sgir
l.Weget
al
ongver
ywel lcozwearethesameage.
Yolanda:
“Heyboo”
Wehuggedmyt ummy
makingithardt
hough“Wuuuhwhenisshe
comingoutwecan'tev
enhugproper
ly”We
sharedalaugh
Me:
“Sept
ember
”
Gogo:
“Comewewer
ejustaboutt
oeat
br
eakf
ast.
”
Letmej ustsayIhadagreatdaywi
tht
heSmi
th
fami
ly.TheywerealsoCj
'smunchki
nssomy
sonhadsomeonet oplaywith.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
AWEEKEARLI
ER
Aft
ertheamazingni ghtIspendwi t
hLoganhe
hadtotakemebackhomet henextmorning
cozhisdaywasgoi ngt ostartear
ly.Wetookan
i
nnocentshowertoget her.Hegavemehi s
sweatpants,hi
st-shirtandhoodiesincethe
morni
ngweatherwasi ffy
.
Hedr
ovemehome,
Sit
hol
eresi
dencet
hati
s.
Logan:
“I
m sor
ryt
haty
ouhadt
owakeupear
ly
mydayi
sver
ybusy
”
Me:“Nopr
oblem Iunder
standmylov
eI'
m happy
I
'm goi
ngtohavemyowndoct or
”
Logan:
“Andy
our
sonl
y”
Me:“
Hopenoonei str
yingtoaudit
ionformy
pl
ace”Logan:“
TheyknowukhonauMaSot hobe
wami”Thewayhesaidi tssocut
e.I'
m
i
mpressedthatheistr
yingbyall
meanst olear
n
mymot herl
anguage
Me:
“Av
eusi
sthandway
az”(
yousuchadar
li
ng)
Logan:
“Sakhowedwa”(
Your
sonl
y)Il
etouta
gl
eeful
laugh
Me:“EhMrWebberwhohav
ebeent
eachi
ngy
ou
I
siZulu?
”
Logan:
“At
utor
”
Me:
“Youl
i
e!”
Logan:
“I
tst
rue”
Me:
“Youhav
eat
utorj
ustt
oteachy
ouI
siZul
u?”
Logan:
“Yesf
ory
oubabyIwant
edt
osur
pri
se
you”
Me:
“WowIf
eel
sospeci
al”
Logan:
“Youareaspecialkindofalady
”I
coul
dn'
thelpbutsmil
et hi
sguyhav eawaywith
hi
swords.Hedoesn'thavet osayabombast
ic
wordoramonologuehi sfewsimplewordsf
ind
aspeci
alplacei
nmyhear t
.
Me:
“Il
ovey ouLogan”FunnyenoughImeanti
t.I
r
eal
lydolovehim andIalsol
oveMj.I
tsashit
ty
messI'
mt ell
i
ngyou
Logan:
“Il
oveyoumoreandmoreevery
day
”I
i
nchedcloserweki
ssed“Iwi
l
lcal
lyou”
Me:
“Okayhav
eani
ceday
”
Logan:“
Youtoomyl ove”Hekissedmyf orehead
thenwentouttoopent hedoorforme.I
steppedoutofthecarweshar edati
ghthug.I
kissedhi
scheekandmademywayi nusingmy
remote.Ever
yonewasst i
ll
asleepti
mewas
around6inthemorning.Iwasst
art
ledbyhi
s
voiceasIt
iptoedupstai
rstomybedroom.
“Youarecomingfrom hi
m”Ibit
emyl i
phar
d
andturnedar
oundl ooki
ngathi
m.Evenint
he
morninghesti
ll
looksexyaseversomepeopl
e
arebl
essedoutthere.
Me:
“Mj
whyar
eyounotsl
eepi
ng”
Mj:
“Di
dy ousleepwi t
hhi
m? ”IlookeddownI
coul
dn'
tlietohim cozhecouldseethroughme.
“Wowsoy oufuckedmeandl eftmesleepi
ng
l
ikeafoolthenwentt of
uckyourboy f
ri
end.”
Me:
“Mj
I'
m sor
ryI
..
.”
Mj:
“Theappl
edoesn'
tfal
lfarf
rom t
het
ree”
Thathi
thome.
Me:“Mj
don'
tbel
iket
hatI
'm sor
ryokaybutst
op
act
ingl
ikey
oudon'
tknowaboutmeandLogan”
Hechuckl
edi
ndi
sbel
i
efandshookhi
shead
Mj:
“SojustbecauseIknowabouthi
m Imust
smil
ethatyousayy oulov
emet henextmi
nut
e
youarefucki
ngy
ourwhi
teboy
.Whi
chi
swhi
ch
ent
lek!
”
Me:“Ssshy ouneedtocalm downdon'tr
aise
yourvoice.Mj t
hisi
tshardformepleasedon't
makei thardthenIt
salreadyi
s”Helaughedli
ke
r
eallylaughed
Mj
:“
Hardletmemakei
teasyf
ory
ou.Ar
eyou
wi
thhi
m orme?”
Me:
“Mj
please.
..”
Mj
:
“Answert
heaskThando!
”
Me:
“Hi
m..
..
I'
m wi
thhi
m”
Mj:
“Thanky
ouf orhonest
y”Thatcameoutasa
whi
sperehethenturnedt
owalkawayIgrasped
hi
sarm
Me:
“Baby.
..
”Hel
ookedatmewi
they
esf
il
led
wi
thtear
sandpai
n
Mj:
“Dontt
ouchme! ”Heyankedhishandoffand
wal
kedaway .OhmyGodwhathav eIdone.I
t
ooktheglassonthecounterandthr
ewi ton
t
hewal
l
.Itshat
ter
edi
ntopi
eces.
Iwasf uckingangryatmysel
fforbeing
confused.WhydoIf eell
ikeIwil
lregretthi
s
decisi
onIguessIhav etofeelt
hiswaycozI
nevergav emy sel
fti
metothinkaboutt hi
s.
“Myglassdidn'
tsendy outoopenlegsforboth
oftheboys”ThatwasMommyQueenwear i
ng
herrobeandsleepers.Somehowwhatshesai d
mademeangr yyouknowwhent het r
uthfi
nd
i
tsplaceyoucan'thelpbutbedefensi
ve.
Me:“Youarethelastonet
ojudgeme!”she
gaspedholdi
ngherchest.Ibi
temyli
phard“I
'm
sorr
y..
.”Sher
aisedherhandtostopmef r
om
tal
ki
ng.
Mom: “Listenandl i
stenmecar ef
ullyyoudon'
t
gettobehav el
ikeasl utthenhav eanerveto
disr
espectme.It ol
dy ouaboutmyst orycozI
wantedy outomaket herightdecisi
onsnot
repeatthesamemi stakesImadeIwant edyou
toreali
zehowt hi
si sgoingt oaff
ectpeople'
s
l
ivesbutnowi t
'sclearlythatwasjustawast e
oftime.JustbecauseIhappenedt oshar ewi t
h
youmypastdoesn' tmakeusf ri
endsI'my our
mot herandy ouwi l
l respectmeandknowi ng
myst orydoesn' tmeanIwi l
lstoprepri
mandi ng
you.Asl ongasy ouar estil
loutoftheli
neI '
m
gonnat elly
oumypi eceofmi nd.Rubbishis
rubbish,shi
tisshi t
!”Byt hatti
met earswer e
bli
ndingmysi ghtandIwast r
embling.
Me:
“I
m sor
ryMama.
..
.”
Mom: “Youdon'tevenhav eanIdeawhaty ouput
theseboy sthr
ough.Mj isfr
agil
ev er
yfragileand
nowy oujustbrokehisheart.I
nsteadofthi nking
aboutthismet i
culouslywit
hy ourmindy ou
usedy ourpussytothinkforyou!”Shebreat hed
outloudlyandturnedtowal kaway .
Me:“
Mamangi y
axoli
sa..
.”(I
'm sor
ry.
..
)shel
eft
metherestandingcr
ying.Imessedupbigtime.
Iwentupst
airstogetmycarkey sthendrov
eto
dad'
scryi
ng.Idon'tt
hinkIwasgoingtobeable
tofaceMamaandMj aft
ert
his.Mydadusuall
y
havecoff
eeearl
yinthemorningsoIfoundhim
sippi
ngoncoff
ee.“Hell
oDaddy”Heturnedand
l
ookedatme
Dad:
“Sweet
nessar
eyouokay
”Ithi
nkhesaw
myredpuff
yeyesandr
ednose.
Me:“
YesI
'
mfine”Ibur
sti
ntotearsmyhear
twas
sor
eHewasonhisfeeti
nst
antlyandcameto
me
Dad:“Whati
swr ongbaby”Het ookmyhand
thenwewentt othehighchairwher ehesat
downandpul l
edmet ohi
slapt henpressedme
tohischest
.“Talktodaddy”Icr i
edheav i
er
wetti
nghispjtop.Icoul
dn'
tut t
erawor dIwas
tooashamedtoev endoso.“ SSshhi t
sgoingt
o
beokaysweetheartdontcry”Heki ssedmy
head.
“
Whati
sgoi
ngon”Thatwast
hest
epmont
er
Dad:“
Shecamecr
yingIdon'
tknowwhati
s
wrongwit
hher
”
Sharon:
“Ohwhatiswr
ongsweet
ness”The
pret
enceinherv
oicemademesickfr
om t
hepi
t
ofmystomach.
Me:
“I
mfi
nedaddycanIgosl
eepabi
t”
Dad:
“Buty
ouhav
en'
ttol
dmewhathappened?
”
Me:“Youhavenothi
ngtoworr
yabout”He
si
ghedIcouldseethathewasworri
edandsad.
Istoodupform hi
slapandwentuptomy
bedroom.
Iundressedandsl i
ppedintoMj'st-
shirtit
sthe
onlythingthatIwi l
leverbeabletohav ethat
belongt ohim.Nomor ehisgoodsex, nomor e
hisamazi ngki sses,nomor ehiselect
rifyi
ng
touch,nomor ebearhugsf r
om him.Iwas
griev
ingf orthel ossofwhatcoul dhavebeen
amazi nghadheconf essedhisfeel
ingt ome
from thef i
rstplace.
Idon'
tthinkhewillev
erforgi
vemefort
his.I
sli
ppedintobedjustthenmydoorswungopen
thestepmonsterwalkedin.
Sharon:
“Whatwasthatallaboutcry
ingli
kea
babythenyoudon'
ttell
yourfatherwhatis
wrongheissowor r
iedri
ghtnow.Ican'thave
youtocomehereandmakemymangr umpy.
Youshouldhavekeptyourtearsify
ouwer enot
gonnatel
lhim.
”
Me:
“Mxm”
Sharon:
“Heyheybecar efulofwhatcomesout
ofthatrottenmouthofy our
s.I
t'
sagoodt hing
thatIm mov ingi
nyouneedt ostopstayi
ngat
theSit
hol esandcomebackher epermanently
.
Wear ey ourfami
lynotthem”Icouldn'
tbel
ieve
thi
swoman
Me:
“Youarenotmyfami
l
yandy oucan'
tst
op
mefrom st
ayi
ngatt
heSi
thol
etheyaremy
f
amil
y”
Shar
on:
“Wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
”
Me:“
Whydoy
ouwantmetobeher
ecozyou
hat
emeohIseey
ouwantt
oabuseme”
Sharon:“Trustmeifi
tweref
ormeIwoul dhave
kil
ledyoul ongti
meagobutwhathurtyour
fatherhurtmemor esoyouarel
uckyyouli
ttl
e
brat!
”
Igaspedt
hiswoman'
sev
il
nessi
sonanot
her
l
evelmos
Me:“
Youaresoevi
lsi
esyousuchadi
sgr
acet
o
women!”Shewasaboutt
osl
apmewhendad
ent
ered
Dad:
“I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
”
Sharon:
“Yeshoneywearejusthav
ingamother
anddaughterconver
sat
ionwomanst uf
fyou
know”
Dadl
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed
Dad:“Okayl
etmenotdi
stur
byouguy
s”He
walkedout
Shar
on:“
Im wat
chi
ngy ou”Shewalkedoutthe
momentthedoorshutclosedIcr
iedmyey es
bal
loutcur
li
ngmyselfint
oaballunti
lIf
all
asl
eep.Iwaswokenupbydaddy
Dad:
“Sweetness”Irubbedmyey
esandlooked
athi
m“ Di
nnerisready”Iwi
denmyeyes
Me:
“Di
nnerhowl
onghav
eIbeensl
eepi
ng?
”
Dad:
“Yousl
eptt
hewhol
eday
”
Me:
“Wow”
Dad:
“Come”
Me: “
Rightafteryou”Hest oodupandwal ked
out.Ican'tbeli
eveIsleptt hewhol edaybutt hen
againwedi dn'tsl
eeplastni ghtwef uckedunt i
l
dawn.Islidoutofbedandwentt othe
bathroom Iwashedmyf aceandmymout h.My
eyeswer eswol l
enfrom t hecrying.Iwentback
tomybedr oom andputonmypj pantsand
sleepersthenwentdownst ai
rs.Ijoi
nedthem
weat einsilenceunti
l dadbr okeit.
Dad:
“Uhm babyShar
onandherdaught
erare
goi
ngtobemov ingi
nwit
hus..
.”Ii
nter
rupt
ed
hi
m
Me:
“Shehav
eadaught
er?”
Dad:
“Yessheis15yearsol
dyouwi
l
lli
keher
yout
wowi l
lgetal
ongjustwel
l
”
Me:
“Idi
dn'
tknowshehav
eadaught
er”
Dad:“Iwantust oli
veli
keafamily.Youare
spendi ngmor etimewi t
htheSit
hole'st
henus
sweet ness.Iunderstandbutattheendofthe
daytheyar enoty ourfamil
y”Il
ookedathim as
hespokeandt hatwasnothimtalkingi
twas
Sharon
Me:
“Whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osaydad”
Dad:
“Youwon'
tbegoi
ngt
her
eany
mor
e”
Me:“What ?”Il
ookedatSharonthesmirkonher
facemademewannav omit.NowIgetwhy
Phuml afounditeasyt
omani pul
ateDaddyheis
tooweakwheni t
'scomestowomen.Heal low
them tohavehisdickwrappedaroundthei
r
fi
ngers.“
Daddyy oucan'tdothat
!”
Dad:
“Youar
eshout
ingnowsweet
ness”
Me:“Thosepeopl
earemyfamil
yDaddy.They
tookmei nandgavemelovet
hatyoudeni
edto
givemer ememberandnowyougonnatel
lme
tostopgoingther
e?Never
!”Ibangedt
hetable
Dad:“
Thandokuhleyouar ebei
ngdisrespectful
now.Youarenotgoi ngthereanymoreunl ess
ther
e'sapartyorsomething.YouareaSi biya
notaSithol
e”hewassocal myetfi
rmly.
Shouti
ngisnothisthingheisalwayscalml i
ke
acucumber.
Me:“
NowIwi shIwasaSit
hol
eagg!”Ist
oodup
andranupst
air
s.Iwasf
umingwit
hangerhow
coul
dhe?
Islippedintomybl anketsmybat t
reyphone
diedandIdi dn'
thavestrengt
htogoand
char gedit.Justl
iketheysaidIdi
dn'tgotothe
Sithole'
s.Thewhol eweekpassednot hi
ng
muchwenton.Thest epmonster'
sdaughter
Nhl anhl
amov edinwithusandshewasj ustl
i
ke
hermot her.Shehaveat t
it
udefordays.Theonly
t
imeIwentther
ewaswhenwewentt
obi
d
f
arewel
ltosi
sKat.
Shewant edtogowi thmet oCapeTownbutt he
stepmonst err
efusedasweknowi fsherefuse
thatmeansdaddyt oo.Thingshav entbeenwel l
betweenherandbut iPKt heybrokeupi t'
sso
sad.Ineverknewwhatl ov
ei sunti
lIsaw
MommyQueenandDaddyKi ngI'
mt ell
i
ngy ou
PKandKathav ethatkindalovetheywillfi
nda
wayt oeachother.Ihaven'tseenMj andits
hurtsevenwhenIcal lhim herej
ectmycal ls.
ANOTHERWEEKPASSED
ButiInaandSisKonke'sweddi ngis
approachingeveryonei
sinthatv ibe.I
m oneof
thebr i
desmiadI'
m soexcit
edf orgetthepart
thatIhaveneverbeenabr i
desmai dbefor
eIwil
l
beabr idesmaidoftheeKuhlekonkeZwaneand
there'
sgoingtobeal otofcelebri
t i
esther
e.I
missmynephewandmysi sterbutwesky pe
everydayjustl
ikenow.
Me:“Imissy
ouguy
swhenar
eyoucomi
ng
back?”
Kat
:“
Thedaybef
oret
heweddi
ng”
Me:
“Noway
ssi
sthatt
woweeksawaymos”
Kat
:“
IknowandI'
m sor
rybutIdi
dasky
out
o
comewithus”
Me:
“Phel
awenayouaresi
ngleIcoul
dn'
tl
eav
e
mymanalone”shel
aughed
Kat
:“Ther
ehav etobeati
mewhereyouhav
eto
l
eavehim sothathecanmissy
oudon'
t
suf
focatehi
m”
Me:“
Loganwil
lnev
erbesuff
ocat
edbyme.st
il
l
youhaven'
tmetMrHotGuyagai
n?”
Kat
:“
Nah”shesai
dwi
thl
owsadt
one
Me:“
Yousoundsady
ouseem t
oli
key
oul
i
ke
t
hisguy
”
Kat
:“
Hei
sani
cehotguygr
rrr
”Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
“Ut
hat
heki
l
est
ruunasi
”
Kat
:“
Iswearyouwoul
dtooi
fyoucanseehi
m.
Wakhi
weloyamunt
uyezwa”
Me:
“Hei
shot
tert
hanPK”
Kat:
“Youknowinmyeyesther
ewillnev
erbe
someonehott
erthenhi
m maraloguytaket
he
cake”
Me:
“Damn”
Kat
:“
Youcansayt
hatagai
nlookbabyIhav
eto
goIl
oveyou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
ou”
Loganwal
kedinwit
hsoupIwasathi
spl
ace.I
wokeupfeel
i
ngsicksohewentt
omakeasoup
forme
Logan:
“Her
eyougo”
Me:“Thankyoumysweets”It
ookthebowland
ki
ssedhischeekashesatnextt
ome.Isipped
onitandfrown
Logan:
“What
”
Me:
“I
ttast
eyuck”
Logan:“
Itwi
l
lmakey oufeelbett
ermylove”I
forcedi
tdownbeforeIevenfini
shedi
t,i
tall
cameupIwentt othebathr
oom andthrewup.
“Babe”Heheldmyweav ebrushingmyback
Me:“
Itol
dyoui
ttast
eyuck”If
lushedt
het
oil
et
andri
nsedmymouth.
Logan:“
Come”Hetookmyhandwewentt
ohi
s
bedroom.“
Imtaki
ngyout
othedoct
or”
Me:“
Youar
estressi
ngovernothi
ng”Hetook
outmyj
eansandt -
shi
rtf
rom hi
scloset
.
Logan:“
Wear egoingandt hat'sthat
”He
dressedmeupt henpi ckedmeup.Hepl aced
met ohiscaronthef rontseatandbuckledme
up.Hewentt ohissideandgoti nwit
hina
secondwewer edr i
vingtot hedoc.Hekept
askingmeifI'
mf i
neal lthewayshamet heway
hewaswor ri
edwassocut e.Wegott othe
doctorandhedidhisi shthent ol
dustowai t
.
Aft
ersometi
mewewer ecall
edin.Loganpul
l
ed
outachai
rformeIsatdownthenhedi dt
he
same.Hesqueezedmyhandintohisaswe
l
ookatthedocinant
ici
pat
ion.
Doc:
“Wel
lcongr
atul
ati
onsMissSi
biy
ay ouare2
weekspr
egnant
”Isweartheworl
dstopped.
Logan:
“Pr
egnant
?”
Doc:
“Yes”
Logan:
“Butweusepr
otect
ion”
Doc:
“I
tsnot100%”
"IREPEATDON' TFALLPREGNANT"SisKat
voiceechoedi
nmyear smywholebody
shiveredandt
earsgushdownmycheeks.Isaw
myl if
ecrumbl
ingint
opieces.
Logan:“BabyI'
m sor
ryIknowt hatnextyeary
ou
aregoingtoschoolI'
m sosorryIdidn'
tmeant o.
IpromiseIwi l
lbewit
hyouever ystepofthe
wayy oudon'thavetobescared.Ourbabywi l
l
betakencar eofdon'
tcrypl
ease”Hepul ledme
tohischestt
hereali
tyhithar
dthatthi
sbabyis
nothisasmuchascondomsar enot100%but
thi
sonei sMj
'swenev erusedprot
ecti
onI
wail
edlikeababy.Thandowenzeni??(what
haveyoudone)
[
06/
02,
19:
04]W:
★ Ci
ndyCashy
★
★ Phi
ndi
l
eMaNgcungamaZubane★
_
___
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___
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_
89
THANDOKUHLE
•
“Her
eMi ss”Sai
dthedoctorgivingmewat er.
ThewayIwascr yi
ngmybr eathingwasheav y
andIhadhiccupsplusexcruci
atingheadache.
Myhandswer eshakingIcouldn'thol
dtheglass.
Logantookitandhelpedmedr ink.
Me:
“Thanky
ou”Hegav
ethedoct
ort
hegl
ass
Doc:“
Iunderst
andy ouareshockedbutyou
needtocalm downMi ssSibi
ya”Ij
ustnodded
andwipedmyt ears.“
Stressi
ngisnotgood
especi
all
yatthisearl
ystageofthepregnancy
”
Logan:
“Iwi
l
lmakesureshedoesn'tst
ress.
Thankyousomuchforyourser
vicedoctor
”
Doc:“
Noproblem MrWebbert
hatwil
lbeal
l
haveagreatday”Westoodupandmadeour
wayout.Heopenedthebackseatf
ormeI
l
ookedathim
Logan:
“Geti
n”
Ididhecl osedthedoorandwentt ot
heot her
si
de.Hegoti nandfacedmel ookingallworri
ed
“I
'
m sor rymyl oveI'
m sureyouarescaredIm
al
soscar edbutI '
m happyatthesamet ime.I
promi seIwillbewit
hy outi
llt
heend.Iwi l
l
suppor tyouandourbabyy ouwi l
lneverfeelt
he
pressurealone.Iwil
lemot i
onall
y,phy
sicall
yand
spir
ituall
ysupportyou.Ilov
ey ouMaSot hobe
wami andIalsoloveourbundleofjoy.Asmuch
aswedi
dn'
tpl
anthebabybutI
'
m gr
atef
ulI
'
m
goi
ngt
obeafather
”
Themor ehewentonandonev erywordcut
deepinmyhear t
.Hewasgenuinelyhappyhe
coul
dn'tev
enhideit
.HowIcanbr eakthenews
tohi
m whenhei shappyl
iket
his.HowdoIgo
abouttobreakhi
sheartl
i
kethi
s.
Asi fi
t'
snotenought hatIcheatedthebabyhe
thi
nkit
shi sisnothisJesusChr i
sthowcanI
getoutofthismess.Icouldn'thel
pbutletout
ri
veroftears.MommyQueent ol
dtomet obe
wiseaboutt hi
sbutIchosetodownpl ayher
advi
ceandent ert
ainmyf eel
ings.
I'
mi ndeepshitandsisKati sgoingbemad.I
promisedherthatIwon' tfal
lpregnantshewil
l
besodi sappoi
nted.Afterallthehardworkshe
haddonet oraisemei sthishowIt hankher?
Mysi st
eralway swantedt hebestformeev en
thoughsomet i
mesI '
dthi nksheisannoyingbut
Iknownowal l
sheev erwant edformewast o
bethebestIcanbeinl
if
e.“I
'
m sor
ry”Hepul
l
ed
met ohi
schestIcr
iedheav
il
ywett
inghi
spolot
-
shi
rt.
Me:
“I
tsnoty
ourf
aul
t”
Logan:
“Il
ovey
ouokayandI
'
m gonnabeher
e”I
nodded
Hepulledmebackandwipedmytear
s.“Wear
e
goingtobeokayIpromi
seyou”Heki
ssedmy
eyes.“St
opcryi
ngnowyoumakemewannacry
too”Ichuckl
ed
Me:“
IcanImagineyourr
edpuf
fyeyes,
faceand
nosesnuff
li
ngallt
hewayyouknowthatIwoul
d
l
iketosee”Hegiggl
ed
Logan:“
I'
m sureIwi
lll
ooklikeagay”Ilaughed
“ThatwhatIwanttosee”Hesmi ledandkissed
mynose“ Igotyouokay”Inoddedhepl astered
hiscol
dlipsonmylipsweki ssedpassionately
.
“Il
oveyou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”
Logan:
“Sowhatdoy
ouwantt
oeatf
utur
eMr
s
Webber”
Me:
“I
m nothungr
y”
Logan:
”Butyoudidn'teatbr
eakfastI
'
m sur
emy
boyishungr
y ”hebrushedmyt ummy .
Me:
“Whosai
dit
saboy
”
Logan:
“Icanfeelit
..
WowIcan'tbeli
eveI'm
goi
ngt obeaf at
her”Hiseyesweretwinkl
ing.
Ohlordngizosi
thol
alesonoezul
wini.
Me:“Ial
socan' tbeli
eveI'm goingtobeamot her
attheageofni neteenth”Isighedheav i
ly
thi
nkinghowIj udgedsi sKatwhenshewasi na
samesi t
uat i
onnowher eIam wor stIcould
havepreventedt hi
s.Ihav elearntthehar
dway
thatneverjudgeasi t
uationt hatyouhavenev er
encountered.
Logan:
“I
m sor
ry”
Me:“
It
snotyourfaul
tbaby
..
.l
etgot oMugg&
BeanI'
m sur
eIcandowntheirchocol
atecake”
Logan:
“Nowy ouarespeaki
ng”Hefl
ashedhis
smil
eandgotoutoft hecar
.Hewenttothe
fr
ontpassengerseatandopenedt
hedoorthen
camet omyside.Heopenedthedoorandand
scoopedmeup
Me:“MmhIt hi
nkI'
m goi
ngtoli
kethi
s
pregnancy
”Hechuckledandpl
acedmyont
he
fr
ontpassengerseat.
Logan:
“Youdeservet
obespoiledbaby”He
pl
antedapeckonmycheekandbuckl edmeup.
Hethenwenttohissideandgotinbef
ore
star
ti
ngthecar.“
Yougood”
Me:“Yes”Hetookmyhandandki ssedit.Then
focusonther oad.West r
uckupaconv ersat
ion
thatwasfil
l
edwi thlaughterthereandt here
unti
lwegott oM&G.Hehel pedmeoutoft he
caryouwillswearI'
m heav i
lypregnant.Wesat
downaswewai t
edforourf ood.
Logan:“
Sowhatshoul
dIdonowbabyImean
regar
dingy
ourfamil
yist
heaprocedur
ethatI
hav
etof
oll
ow?
”
Me:“Notreal
lyIhavetotel
lthem aboutthe
pregnancybutI'
m scar
edbabemysi steri
s
goingtobedisappoint
edinme.”Tear stri
ckl
ed
i
nmyey es
Logan:
“Icanbewi
thy
ouwheny
out
ell
them”
Me:
“Uhm noI
'
m goi
ngt
odoi
tmy
sel
fdon'
t
wor
ry”
Logan:
“OkayI
'
m sorr
yforput
ti
ngyouinthi
s
si
tuati
on”Hewipedmytear
swithhi
sthumbs.
Me:“Stopapol ogisingmylov ewewer e
protectedit'
snotl ikeyoudiditonpurpose.I
guesswej usthav etobehappyt hatGod
tr
ust edusenought obeparents”Lordhow
l
ongwi l
lIkeept his.Ij
ustfoundoutandi t
s
ki
lli
ngmeal ready.
Logan:“
Truethatmylove”Ourcakesandcoff
ee
came“ Thankyou.
..
sowhathappenaf t
eryoutel
l
them dowegetmar red?DoIhavetopay
somet
hing?
”wedugi
n
Me:“
Whooy ouneedtosl
owdownMrWebber
r
elaxokay”Hechuckl
ed
Logan:
“Ij
ustwantt
odot
hingsr
ightbaby
”
Me:“
Iknowmybabybutr
elaxIwi
l
ltel
lwhat
next
”
Okaynowhewasget ti
ngt ooexci t
ed.Isaw
PalesaandMj walki
nginhandi nhand.If el
ta
sharppainofj eal
ousyheki ssedhercheekas
shegiggled.IfIknewbet t
erI'dsayhewas
doingthi
st ospiteme.Ourey eslockedIcoul d
seethathewasn' texpectingtoseeme.He
walkedhert otheirt
abl
eandt heysatdown.
Himf aci
ngmeandherf acingtheot herside.I
wasst ar
tledbyLogan'shandwav i
ngacr ossmy
face
Logan:
“Babear
eyoual
ri
ght
?”
Me:“
Uhm yes”NowIwantedtoleav
ethi
splace
cozseei
ngthem t
oget
hersl
icedmyhearti
nto
pi
eces.WhywasIf
eeli
ngj
eal
ousI
'
mtheone
whobrokehi
shear
t.“
Canwegonow”
Logan:
“Butwehav
en'
tfi
nisheat
ingmyl
ove”
Me:
“I
'm notf
eel
i
ngwel
l
”Thatwasnotal
i
e.
Logan:
“Gi
vemef ewminutesokay”Hetookout
hi
sphoneanddidsomet hi
ngwi t
hitwhi
leI
l
ookedaheadandIfoundMj star
ingatme.We
fi
xedeyesoneachotherIfel
tmyheartbeat
ing
harder
.
“Hel
lo”Hef
lashedhi
scontagi
oussmil
emy
heartdi
dakwasadance.Thatsmi
lewas
enoughtomakemyday .Whyam Idoi
ngthi
s!
Logan:
“Wecangobabe”Westooduphet
ook
myhandtohiswewalkedout
.
Me:
“Babycany
out
akemet
oPr
ett
y'
spl
ace”
Logan:
“It
houghtwearegoi
ngt
ospendt
heday
i
nbed, menursi
ngyou”
Me:
“Thatwi
l
l begreatbabebutIpromisedherI
wi
ll
seehertodayIhavebeenavoidinghershe
i
sgoingthroughsomecri
si
snowIfeell
i
keI'
ma
badfr
iend”Thatwasali
eIneededt
otal
kto
someone.
Logan:
“Okaybaby.
”Hedrov
emet oPr
ett
y's
pl
ace“ShouldIcomeandpicky
ouuplat
er?”
Me:
“Don'
twor
ryshewi
l
ldr
ivemehome”
Logan:
“OkayIl
ovey
ou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
oumor eandmor
eev
ery
day
”He
smi
l
edandkissedme.
Logan:
“Iwi
llcall
you”Inoddedandsteppedout
ofthecar
.Hehoot edoncethendrov
eof fasI
mademywayi n.MusicwassoloudIknewshe
wasalonecozherstepmom wi l
lneverall
ow
such.
Sheisl uckyherst
epmom i snotamonst erwe
al
lthoughtshewi l
lmist
reatthem butnahshe
tr
eatthem li
kethei
rchil
dren.Iguessshehada
beefwithPrett
y'smom notherkids.Mayher
soulrestinpeaceshewasagoodwoman.
Imademywayi ncozshewasn' tgonnahear
me.If oundhertwerki
ngherbi gassinfrontof
theTVscr een.Damnt hegir
lgotskil
lsfora
vir
ginplusshewaswear i
ngabum shor tand
sportbraIfIwasaguyIwi llhaveherri
ghtthere
andt hen.Iwenttoherandspankedherassshe
screamedi nshock.
Pree:“
OhhmyGodThando! ”shehel
dherchest
tr
yingtocat
chherbreat
h“Youwanttokil
lme
huh!”shehi
tmeIlaughed
Me:
“I
m sor
ry”Shet
urneddownt
hev
olume
Pr
ee:
“Nev
erdot
hatagai
n”Weshar
edahug
Me:“
Imustsayyougott
hisbabythedayyou
gi
veMrguyhiscooki
ehewillaskyoutomarr
y
hi
m”Shelaughed
Pr
ee:
“Dontbesi
l
ly”Wesatdownont
hecouch
Me:
“Ser
ious”
Pr
ee:“
WellMrGuyi
snotget
ti
nganyunt
ilhe
br
ingsdad'
scows”
Me:“
That'
sagoodideamyf
ri
endst
ayv
irgi
n
f
orever
”Sheeyedme
Pree:
“Okayjustyest
erdayyouweresay i
ngbl
ah
bl
ablaI'm missi
ngoutandnow”Il ookeddown
andtwiddli
ngmyf i
ngers“
Babelookatme”I
l
ookedupathermyt earsf
all“
Whati swrong
Teeyouarescaringme”
Me:
“ImessedupPr
ee”Isai
dwi
thacr
yingv
oice
Pr
ee:
“Whatdi
dyoudo?
”
Me:
“I
m..
I'
m..
pregnant
”
Pree:“Ssss”shewi ncedwithshock“OhbabeI'm
sorry”Shepul ledmet oherchestIbursti
ntoa
l
oudsob“ I'
m sor r
ybutLoganseem likeanice
guyIdon' tthinkhewilldi
tchyouwiththe
responsibil
ityheloveyougirl
”
Me:
“That
'st
het
hingPr
ee.
..I
tsnothi
sbaby
”
Pree:
“Whaat
?”Shepull
edmebackandl ooked
atmewithherpoppedouteyes.Thatl
ook
mademecr yharder
.“Whoisthefatherkant?
”
Me:
“M.
.m.
.Mj
”
Pree:“Hheee?”Idi
dn'tt
ell
hernorKBt hatIhav
e
feel
ingsf orMj“ButhowImean...”shepaused.
Iexplainedtoherwhathappened.“Tjooo”
Me:“Idon'
tknowwhattodoPr ee,Logani
s
happyhethinkst
hisbabyishiswhileMji
snot
tal
ki
ngt omeIbrokehishearti
t'
ssuchamess!”
Isobbed
“Serv esyouri
ght”Wel ookeduphurtwas
wr i
ttenonherface.“Yout ol
dmeMj i
saheart
breakerkantey ouwerekeepinghim awayfr
om
mef oryou!Whatkindofaf ri
endareyou?I
trustedyouTeeIdigt heboyy ouknowthatyou
couldhav eatl
easttoldmet hatyouareal
soint
o
him Iwoul dhavebackof fnotl
ietome”Tears
streameddownherf ace
Me:
“I
'm sor
ryKBbutIwasn'
tl
yi
ng”
KB:“Youar
ely
ingTeey ouandIar
edoneyou
arebadformyli
feIcan'thav
ebet
ray
ersas
fr
iends”
Me:“
I'm sor
ryKB”Istoodupandwalkedtoher
shejustranoutcr
ying.“OhGodwhathaveI
donewhatkindofaf ri
endIam”Iwentdownon
mykneesandscr eamedmyl ungsout
Pr
ee:
“Youneedtocal
m down”Shesatnextt
o
meandengulf
edmeinherarms
Me:“
HowcanIcalm downImessedupPr ee.
Si
sKati
sgoingtobemad, Loganwill
bebroken
whenIt
ell
himthetrut
h,Mjmightnotbel
i
ev e
meandKBwi l
lnev
erforgi
vemei t
'sal
lamess”
Pree:
“Sshhdon'tcrymyf rienditsgoingtobe
okay.KBwi l
lcomear ounddon' twor r
yabout
herandI'm suresi
sKatt oowi l
lunder st
and.
Howev eryouhavetot ell
thetruthev enifi
twil
l
hurtLogan.Ithi
nkitsbettertotellLogansoon
beforehebondwi t
ht hisbaby.”
Me:“I
t'
shar
dPreehei
ssohappyhedoesn'
t
deser
vethi
s”
Pree:“Thet
rut
hwill
setyouf
reemyf r
iendyou
can'tkeepthi
sfr
om bot
hofthem y
ouhav eto
tel
lthem.Howabouty
oust
artwi
thMj
then
Loganafter
”
Me:
“Idon'
tknowPr
ee”
Pree:“
Aski
eschomami ”Shest rokedmyback
unti
lIcal
meddown.“ Phephisay ezwa”(
I'
m
sorry
)Inodded“Icanbewi thyout oholdyour
handwheny outel
lthem”
Ismi
l
edmor
etear
srandownmyf
ace
Me:“Thankyoubabyi
tsmeansal
ottomebutI
guessIhavetofacemydemonsal
one”
Pree:
“Youdon'
thav
etobeal
oneI
'
m her
efor
youalways”
Me:“Yousuchasweethearty
azthankyoumy
f
riendIappreci
atet
hatbutdon'
tworr
yIwil
lbe
f
ineIguess”
Pree:
“Okayt
hen”Letmecall
Mj andfi
ndout
whereishecozhewaswithPal
esaatM&G.I
tookmyphoneandcall
edhimlucki
lyhepi
cked
up
Mj
:
“Wol
a”
Me:
“Heyhowar
eyou”
Mj:
“I
'mf
ine”OuchIguesshedoesn'
tcar
ehow
am I
Me:
“I
'm al
sof
inewher
ear
eyou”
Mj
:
“Justar
ri
vedhome”
Me:
“Okaysur
e”Ihungup.“
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng
t
hankyouchomami Il
ovey
ousomuch”
Pr
ee:
“Il
ovey
out
oobaby
”West
oodup
Me:
“Wi
ll
y oumindt
odr
opmehomeLogani
s
t
heonethatdr
opmehere”
Pr
ee:
“Nopr
obl
em mysweet
sletmegochange”
Me:
“Don'
tyouar
egoodl
i
ket
his”
Pr
ee:
“Sur
e?”shel
ookedather
sel
f
Me:“
YesIam”Shet ookthecarkeyst henwe
l
eft
.All
thewaywewer esingi
ngcoll
idebyLady
Zamaritourf
avouri
tesongbyt heway .
Wheneverwearetogetherweplayit
.Wear r
ived
Isawhiscarparkedinthedri
vey
ardmyhear
t
beatf
aster
.Ibreathoutloudl
y
Pr
ee:
“Dontwor
ryev
eryt
hingwi
l
lbef
inej
ust
br
eat
handbehonestwit
hhim”
Me:“Okayt
hanky ouforevery
thi
ng”Shekissed
mycheekt henIsteppedoutofthecar.Iwaved
hergoodbyethenclosedthedoor.Shehooted
anddroveoffasImademywayi n.If
oundSis
Fl
orainthekit
chen
“
Greet
ingsSi
sFl
ora”
Fl
ora:
“Hel
losi
slongt
imey
ounol
ongercome
her
elatel
y”
Me:“
Uhm Im hel
pingdaddywi
thsomewor
kin
hi
scompanyy ouknow”Thatwasali
e
obvi
ousl
y
Fl
ora:
“Okaysi
swellever
yonei
snother
eexcept
MjI'
m al
soleavi
ngnje”
Me:
“Wher
ear
ethey
?”
Fl
ora:
“MommyQueen&DaddyKi
ngl
eftf
orKZN
GogoMsibiwasadmitt
edanditdoesn'
tl
ook
good.Youknoweversi
nceSqalokuhl
estar
ted
seei
ngTbosesheishardl
yher
e”
Me:
“OhokaySi
swhenwi
l
lthef
olkscomeback?
”
Fl
ora:
“Ngabenginamangasi
sIdon'
tknow”(
I
wouldbelyi
ng)
Me:“Alr
ightletmef indMj ”ShenoddedIwentt o
l
ookf orMj hewasnoti nthel oungeand
bal
conysoIwentt ohi sbedr oom.Ibreathedin
andoutasIwasst andingonhi sdoorthen
openedi t.OhhowIr egrett
eddoi ngsocozt he
si
ghtIsawki l
ledmet othecor e.Hewas
bangingPalesal i
kei t
sthelastt i
me.
Mj :
“Thandowhathappent oknocking?”Iclosed
thedoorandwal kedouttearsbl
indingmysi ght.
Sincewhennowdoweknockoneachot hers
bedroom.Iwentt omybedr oom andthrew
my selfonthebedscreamingmyl ungsout .
Idon'
tknowwhywasIhur
ti
ngcozI
'
mtheone
whomadet hi
schoice.Tot hinkPalesawil
lbe
hurttooaboutt hi
scompl icat edthi
ngsmore.
Whati fIm worryi
ngfornot hingmay bethi
sbaby
i
tLogan' scondomsar enot100%secur edri
ght
?
Sot here'
sapossi bi
l
itythatt hisbabyit
shis
may beIshouldhol dont ot hatandf or
get
aboutcomi ngclean.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
“
Ihear
dy ouar
egoi
nghomet
odayIcamet
o
f
etchyoubaby”
Me:“
HeyheyLat
oyaI'
m notyourbabyandwhy
ar
eyouweari
ngKat'
sclot
hes!!
”
Toy
a:“
Theyl
ookgoodonmeneh”Shet
wir
led
Me:
“ThoseareKat'
sclothesy
ouneedt
otake
t
hem offdesper
atebi
tch!!
”
Toya:“
Fucky
oudude!I
'mtry
ingt
obeniceand
youinsul
tmenxyouusel
essman!Youshoul
d
bebeggi
ngmenoonewi
l
lev
erwanty
ou
Phakamani
unj
e!”
Me:
“Fucky
ou!
”
Toya:“
Fucky outoolegl
essanddicklessidiot
!”
Shewal kedout.Igr
oanedinfrust
rati
on.Iwon't
l
ieherwor dshithome.Noonewi lleverwant
meexceptKatbutnowIhav elosther.Why
di
dn'tIdieveleagg.Mybrotherwalkedinwith
Mama.
Mom:
“Heyson”Sheki
ssedmyf
orehead
Me:
“Mama”
Jabu:
“Ar
eyouhappyt
ogohome?
”
Me:
“Yeah”
Jabu:“
Wehav emadesomenewar rangement.
YouandMamaar egoingtomoveinwi thus
unti
lyourecover
.Youhav et
opromiseme
Phakamani t
hatyouwill
contr
olyoursel
fIfy
ou
dosomet hi
ngtohurtmom, mykidsormywi feI
wil
lkil
lyoubra”
Me:“
Ipromi
sebut
ithanky
ousomuchmayGod
bl
essyou”
Jabu:
“YouaremybrotherPhakamani
Iwantto
seeyougetuponthatchai
randgogetyour
womanbackdoy ouhearme”
Me:
“Yessi
r”
Hechuckl
ed
Jabu:“
Atthemomentjustf
ocusonget
ti
ng
bett
erthenget
ti
ngyourKit
Katbackwi
l
lfol
l
ow”
Me:“
Youar er
ight
..
.Onceagai
nI'
m sorryMama”
Shejustcametohugme.Lordpleasehel
pme
cont
rolmyanger.Pl
easei
nter
veneIneedyouin
myli
fey ouar
emysav i
our.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
“
Whenar
eyougoi
ngback?
”
Me:
“Thedaybef
oret
heweddi
ng”
Gogo:
“Iguesswewi
l
lleav
etoget
hert
hen”
Khul
u:“
Thankyouforcomingbabypl
easedo
comeagainbefor
eyouleave”
Me:
“Iwi
l
ldoKhul
u”Ihuggedt
hem bot
h
Yol
anda:
“Herr
idei
sal
readyout
sidef
olks”
Gogo:“
Hai sukawenacan'twejustsay
goodnighttoourgranddaught
erwithouty
ou
i
nterr
uptingus”YolandaandIlaughed.
Me:
“Goodni
ghtgr
andpar
ent
s”
Them:
“Goodni
ghtbaby
”
Cj:
“Jesusmom nocr yi
ngshei
sstil
lar
oundshe
wil
lcomebackuy asindal
ombhemu”(heis
heavy)Hewasr eferr
ingtoLamiwhowas
sl
eepinginhisarms.Myboymustbet i
red
shamet heyplay
edt hewholeday
.
Gogo:“
HaisukaI'
m notcryi
ng”Ibi
dfarewell
oncemor eti
met henUncleCjandYolanda
walkedmeout .Spir
owalkedoutofthecarand
openedthebackseatforus.Theygreetedhi
m
andhegr
eet
edback.Yol
andaandSpi
rowere
l
ooki
ngandeachot
herwithbedr
oom ey
es
Cj:
“Dudey
ouareher
etopickupmyni
ecenot
checki
ngoutmyl
it
tl
esi
ster”
Spi
rocl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
Spiro:
“I
m sorr
yman”Idi
dn'
texpectt
hatImean
Spirofearnooneormay
behewasj ustbei
ng
respectf
ul.
Cj
:“
Itwasni
cet obewi
thy
ousweet
hear
t”He
ki
ssedmyforehead
Yol
anda:“
Ishoul
dcomebysomet
imewhatdo
youthi
nk”
Me:
“Of
cour
se”Wehugged
Cj
:
“Iwi
l
lal
sobet
her
e”
Yolanda:
“I
twi
l
lbegi
rl
sonl
ywedon'
tneedhi
m
ri
ghtIssy
?”
Me:“
Uhm y
eah”Isai
dlaughi
ngIcoul
dseewhat
Uncl
ewastry
ingtodo.
Cj
:
“Ahwel
lthatpr
ett
ybadcozIwi
l
lbet
her
e”
Yolanda:“ComeonbruI'
m ol
denoughnow
phelaumunt uyozeaf
eengashadil
ewuwe”(
I
wil
l di
ebef or
eIgetmarr
iedbecauseofy
ou)
Spirolaughed
Cj
:“
Whatar
eyoul
aughi
ngat
?”Spi
roceasedhi
s
l
augh.
IgotinthecarUnclepl
acedLami
onmyl
ap.
“Goodnghtsweethear
t”
Me:
“Ni
ghtUncl
e”
Yol
anda:
“By
ebabe”
Me:
“By
e”
Spi
rocl
osedthedoorandwentt
ohissi
de.He
goti
nandstart
edthecart
hendr
oveoffaf
terhe
hoot
edonce.
Spi
ro:
“Damny
ouruncl
eisscar
y”
Me:
“Hei
sjustbei
ngov
erpr
otect
ive”
Spi
ro:
“Yol
andai
sabeaut
if
ulwoman”
Me:
“Ohy
es”
Spi
ro:
“Sheshoul
dspendadayort
wowi
thus
i
ndeed”
Me:“
Ha.aSpi
roy
ouarei
nar
elat
ionshi
pst
ay
awayfr
om myaunt
y”
Spir
o:“
ComeinIssyamanhavetochoose
wisel
yyoucan'
tjustdat
eagi
rlandmarr
yher
.
Hookmeupphel a”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lwheny
ouf
indMuzi
”
Spi
ro:
“Doneanddust
ed”
Me:
“Real
l
y?Wher
eishe?
”
Spir
o:“
Hewi l
lcometoyoudon'twor
ry.Whyy
ou
seem i
nter
estedint
hisdude”
Me:
“Hesav
edmyl
i
fedur
h”
Spi
ro:
“Mmmhi
tsseemsl
i
kei
tsmor
ethent
hat
nj
e”
Me:
“Hay
iyouar
eimagi
ningt
hings”
Spi
ro:
“Nott
hati
tsmybusi
nessbutwhat
happenedbet
weenyouandPhakamani
you
guysweresocut
etoget
her”
Me:
“Li
fehappened”
Spiro:
“Doyout
hink"l
if
e"i
swor stt
henf
indi
ng
outhewasdatingyoursi
sterandshei
s
pregnant
?”
Me:
“Yeah”
Spi
ro:
“Thatbadhey
”
Me:
“Whatcanwesay
”
Uponarri
valhet
ookLami f
rom meIfol
l
owed
hi
mt otomybedroom andwatchhi
m ashel
ay
hi
mt hentookof
fhisshoes
Spi
ro:“
Hemustbeti
redheneversl
eept
his
ear
ly”Hesai
dpul
li
ngthecover
soverhi
m.
Me:“
Yeahhepl
ayedt
hewhol
edayt
odayt
hank
you”
Spi
ro:
“Pl
easur
e..
.come”Het
ookmyhand
Me:
“Wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngmet
o”Hei
gnor
edme
andt ookmetot heTVroom.Thesetupwas
somesor tpi
cnicmoviedate.Rosesonfleece
blanketbowlofpopornsandmov ieDVDs.
“WowUhm Spi royoudidthi
sf orme?”Iwas
shocked
“Idi
d”j
ustbyhear
ingthesoundofhisvoi
cemy
stomachsur
ged.Itur
nedandlookedathi
m.He
l
ookedsogorgeousinhisj
eanandmusclebl
ue
musclet-
shi
rt
Me:“
Muzomuhl
e”Iwhi
sper
edmyvoi
cel
i
ter
all
y
f
ail
edmedamnboywhatarey
oudoi
ngtome
Spi
ro:
“Iwi
l
lleav
eyouguy
s”Hewal
kedout
.
Muz
i:
“Ihopey
ouar
einamoodf
oramov
ie”
Me:“
Yeah“Hetookmyhandandhel
pedmesi
t
downthenj
oinedme.
Muzi
:
“Wherear
emymannersSawbona
Maj
obe”(
Hell
oMaj
obe)Hi
ssaidvel
vet
y
Me:“
Unj
aninoNkosi”(
HowareyounoNkosi
)He
coul
dn'
thi
dethegleesmi
leonhisf
acehe
wasn'
texpect
ingt
hat
Muz i
:“
seei
ngyourbeauti
fulf
acemakeme
happykunj
anikuwendlovukaziyami
”(Howar
e
youmyQueen)I '
m notl
ightbutIswearmy
cheekstur
nedred
Me:
“I
mfi
neI
'
m al
sohappyt
oseey
ou”
Muzi
:“
Ibr
oughtmovi
esyoucanchoose”hesai
d
t
aki
ngtheDVDs“Chi
ckfl
ick,
hor
ror
,acti
on,
r
omanceandcomedy?”
Me:
“Hor
ror
”Hel
ookedatmewi
thar
aisedbr
ow
“
What?”
Muz i
:“Iwasn'
texpect
ingthatIt
houghtyouwi
ll
pickromanceorchickfli
ckthoseareev
erygi
rl
s
favourit
e”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryt
odi
sappoi
ntedy
ou”
Muz
i:“
Ohnoy
oudi
dn'
thor
rori
smyf
avour
it
e
t
oo”
Me:
“Thatgr
eatt
hen”
Hest oodupandputt hemov i
eont hensatnext
tomesuf focat
ingmei nagoodwaywi thhi
s
heavenlyscent .Heplacedthebowl ofpopcorn
onhi slapsandf edme.Wewat chthemov i
e
wit
hsmal lchatsther
eandt her
e.Thent her
e
wast hispartthatmademescar edIf ound
my selfholdi
nghi mti
ghtly.Hebur stinto
l
aught er“Cutitbrait
snotf unnyany mor e”
Muz
i:
“Youar
esocut
e”
Wef i
ndour selveslosti
neachot her sgazehi s
warm breathingsendschi ll
sdownmyspi ne.He
brushedmyl i
pswi t
hhi st humbIswal lowed
sali
va.myhear twaspoundi ngIswearhecoul d
hearthesoundofi t
.Henear edhisl ipsIlicked
mineget t
ingr eadyfort hesef ul
ljuicylipsthen
myey esaut omat i
call
ycl osed.Ifelthislipson
myf oreheadIopenedmyey esandl ookedat
him.Hechuckl edandst oodupt henpi ckmeup
bri
dalstyle.
Muz
i:
“Di
rectmet
hewayt
oyourbedr
oom.
”I
hookedmyar m aroundhi sneckandbur i
edmy
headonhi snecksni ff
inghi sscenthesmel l
ed
solov el
y.Idirectedhimt hethebedr oom.He
placedmeont hebedandt ookof fmysandals
beforetakingof fmydr essthenmybr astar
ing
deepi nmyey esIwasal readydrencheddown
there.Hetookof fhi
sclothesohwowt heguy
i
sn'thotonl yhegott heebodyandhi sbulge
wast eari
nghi sbr i
efsIcouldimagi nehowbigit
i
sont heout si
de.
Hesl i
ppedbehindmepr essinghiswar m body
againstmineandhisguypoki ngmybut t
causingmyclittovibrate.“Goodnightsweet
cake”Isthi
sguyf orreal howwi l
lIsleepwith
hisguypokingmybut tandguesswhatt henext
minutehewassnor i
nggr eatj
ustgreat!
•
LATOYA
•
Mxm ngi
yakuzamal
okhuokuwuPK
kuyazamulaImeanwhocanstandaguywho
can'
tgetitup.Hei
sful
lofhi
mselfwi
tha
uselesspeni
smxm.
Me:“Here”Igavet
heguyR600note.Hesmi
led
thenIswaymyhi pst
oTbosewhowasont he
barstoolhavi
ngshot
saft
ershot
s.
Me:
“ManT”Hel
ookedatmewi
thhi
ssexyey
es
Tbose:
“Lat
oya”Hegl
azedhi
sey
es
Me:
“Howar
eyou”Isatdownnextt
ohi
m
Tbose:
“I
mfi
ne”
Me:
“Youseemedst
ressedwhati
sgoi
ngon”
Tbose:
“I
tsnoneofy
ourbusi
ness”
Me:
“I
sitt
haty
ell
owboneofy
our
s?”
Tbose:
“Youaresuf
focati
ngmeLat oyawhatar
e
youdoi
nghereshouldn'
tyoubetucki
ngyour
sonorreadi
nghim abedti
mestory”
Me:“
Icanbeyourst
ressr
eli
everyouknow”I
ni
bbledonhi
searandsqueezedhist
high
Tbose:
“Gety
ourhandsof
fmeLat
oya”
Me: “
Shewon'tknowt r
ustme”Isqueezedhi s
bulgehegroanedandst oodup.Isignaledt o
theguytocomeasIf ol
lowTbosewhowas
sloshedandstumbli
ngt othedunny .Ipressed
him agai
nstthewallandkissedhi
mt omy
surpri
seherespondedweki ssedforawhi l
e
thenhepushedme
Tbose:“
Fuck!”Her
oar
edanddi
sappear
ed.I
walkedouttoo
Me:
“Yougoti
t”Isai
dtot
heguy
.
Hi
m:“
Yes”
Itookthephoneandsendthepicst
omyphone
thensentthem t
oSqal
okuhle.
OkaCaesarKuCaesarbaby
!
[
06/
02,
19:
05]W:
90
SQALOKUHLE
•
Icheckedtheti
mei t
s00:
00atnightheisnot
backwehadaf i
ghtsohelef
t.Tbosei
sdriv
ing
mecr azynkosi
yamiwhathurtmemoreisthat
hedoesn'tgeti
t.
Hedoesn'
tunder
standhowIfeel
everyt
ime
whenheisnotwit
hmeIhav etoworr
yifeverhe
gonnacomebacktomealiv
e.Ihavetosl
eep
awakeandcryal
lnight
.
I
'm nottr
yingtochangehim butIcan'
tdealwi
th
thegangsterl
i
fehei sli
vi
ng.Heistooinvol
ved
nowintothisl
ife.Thi
sotherni
ghthewasshot
onhisleg.
It'
stoomuchforme.Iwishhecanst
opthisl
if
e
andworkl
ikenormalpeopl
e.It
ri
edmanytimes
total
khi
m outofthi
shedoesn'
twanttol
ist
en
tome.
HesayItshiscall
ingthere'
snothi
ngheknows
exceptt
hisli
fe.Hi
suncl egroomedhi mt otake
overonedayandt hatdayhav earr
ived.Idon't
knowIwillbeabletocan.Itsstr
essingthehell
outofme.
Iev enwenttothedoctoryest
er daycozIwasn' t
feeli
nggoodandhesai dmybl oodpr essur
eis
high.MyphonebeepIj umpedt hinkingitshi
m
butitwasnothim.Icouldn'
tbelievemyey es
whenIsawTbosewi thhisexkissing.Tearsfall
ont hescr
eenmywhol ebodytrembl edoh
nkosiyamikwangi
phindafuthi
andt histimeit
hurtmorethenever
Igavet hisboymybr okenhear
thet ookitand
repair
edI tIlear
nttotr
ustandtoloveagainthen
hetoreI tapartWhy?Am Inotenoughwhydo
theyallfinditeasytohur
tme.Icriedinagony
curl
ingmy selfi
ntoaball
.
Themor eIscr
eamedmyl ungsoutIcouldfeel
painonmyabnor mal.Iscreamedthepainwas
getti
ngworseItri
edtocall myt
winsisterher
phonewasof f
.Itri
edInasamet hi
ng.Idon't
knowwhatmademel ookedatmyselfIsaw
bloodandpanicked
Me:“
Nonoboyyoucan'
tdot haty
oucan'
t!
”I
cal
l
edTbosehewasthelastopti
on
Tbose:
“Baby
”
Me:
“Come.
..
Ahhh”Iscr
eamed
Tbose:
“Whati
swr
ongbaby
”
Me:“P..
pai
nahh”Thecal
lendedwit
hinfew
minutesIf
elthi
sarmswrappi
ngaroundme.He
smelledal
coholandwomanperf
rume.
•
TBOSE
•
Isawherscr eami
nginagonyandbl
oodont
he
bedIswearIsoberupi
nstant
ly.
Me:“I
m sor
rybabyhangi
nthere”Ipi
ckedherup
andwalkedwit
hhertomycar.Iputheratthe
backanddrovehert
othehospit
alherscr
eams
pi
ercedthr
oughmyheart
Me:
“Hangi
nther
ebaby
”Shewasr
ushedt
oER.
MyheartwasracingandIwaspacingupand
down.Icoul
dnthelpbutfeelr
esponsi
blewe
havebeenfi
ghti
ngalotlatel
yabouttheli
fest
yle
I
'mliv
ing.
Myunclehandedmeal l
theropesI'
m nowthe
gangLordofhisoper
ati
onsandKuhleisnot
happyaboutt
hat.Shedoesntunder
standt
hatI
wasbornforthi
s.Thi
sismycal l
i
ngormybi r
th
ri
ght.
Youactual
lydon'tknowaboutmybackgr ound
l
etmebr i
efyou.Myf at
herwasaf ear
edgang
Lordwhohadt onsofenemi es.Hemadesur e
thatweareprotectedthoughunti
lthi
soneday
hewasnothomewewer eal
one.
WhenIsay" we"Imeanmy sel
f,mymom and
myt wolit
tlebr
others.Iwas18y earst
hattime
Lindaniwas15y earsandThatowas10y ears
old.Ist
il
lremembert hatdayvivi
dly
.Theytook
turnsandhadt hei
rwaywi thmymot herthey
wer e5ofthem Ihavenev ercr
iedli
kethati
nmy
l
i
fe.Iwasbr
okenbey
ond.
Luckil
ymybr ot
herswer easleept heydidn'
tsaw
al
lofthat.Fewday slatershecommi t
ted
sui
cideIhatedmy selfforfail
ingt oprotecther
.
Dadblamedhi mselffort hepainmom andI
wentthroughhishear tcouldn'ttakethatpain
hediedamont hlaterduet ost roke.
Myuncl ecouldn' tl
ethisbrot
hersbusinesses
dieli
kethathet ookov erandgroomedme
slowlybutsurel
yasy oucanseenowt hatIhave
takenover.ThatdaywhenKatal mostki l
l
ed
herselfi
tbroughtpainfulmemor iesIwould
havenotf or
gavemy selfhadshedid.Ifai
led
MamaIcan' tf
ailedeveryoneinmyl i
fethat'
sis
whyImakesur eIav engemyl ovesones.
“
MrKhuzwayo”Iwasstar
tl
edbyabol
dvoi
ce.I
t
urnedandl
ookedathi
m
Me:
“Yesdochowi
sshe”Hesi
ghed
Doc:
“I
m sor
ryshelostt
hebaby”Myhear
t
st
oppedbeati
ngandtheworl
dstoppedmov
ing.
Tearsescapedi
nmyey es.Icouldn'
tbeli
evei
tI
washopinghewi l
lsayheisj
okingbuthesaid
“Sor
ry”MykneeswobbledandIbal ancedwit
h
thewall“
Im sosorr
y”
•
KUHLEKONKE
•
Twoweeksl eftbeforetheweddingImi ssedmy
fi
ancéI'
m goingt oseehimthedayoft he
weddingcabangat hi
sistort
ureImt el
li
ngy ou
butwedocal leachotherevery
day.Imov edt
o
mydad'shouseunt ilt
hewedding.IwishIcan
fastf
orwardtheday sIfeel
li
kethere's
somethingbadt hati
sgoingtohappenIcan' t
shakethatf
eeling.
TodayI'
m goingtoDurbantovi
sitmyparentsi
t
havebeenawhi l
ebutIwill
star
tfit
ti
ngmy
dressf
ir
stbeforeIgo.Ihavegainedfewkil
os
anditworr
iesmeal ot
.Iwasaloneatmydad' s
house.
Sihl
ewasatwor kshei shar
dlyaroundsi
nce
MommyQueenr esignedandshet ookoveras
theCEOandthati scausi
ngast r
aininDad's
andhermarr
iage.Theyar eal
way soneach
other
sthr
oat
sl ately
.
DadalsowenttoworkMzwakhel ef
taweek
agotofi
ndhislov
e.Hemustgi veupalready
maan.Thekidsarewi
ththeirf
ather
.Itookan
appl
ejustasIwasabouttogetout.Thewasa
buzzatthegat
esoIattendedit
.
Anunf amil
iarcardr ov
eintheyar
d.Amanmy
dad'sagest eppedoutofthecarIwentt ot
ake
theknifeandhi ditonmyback.LatelyIhav
e
beenfeeli
ngl ikesomeoneiswatchingmeor
fol
lowingme.
Thebel
lonthedoorr
angIwentt
oopent
he
doorf
orhi
m.
Man:
“Gr
eet
ings”
Me:
“Hi
”Myhear
twasbeat
ingf
ast
Man:
“CanIcomei
n?”
Me:
“Nowhatdoy
ouwant
?”
Man:
“Iwantt
oseey
ourf
ather
”
Me:
“Hei
snother
e”
Man:“Okaytell
himt hatZul
uwasher ewehave
anissuetodiscuss”Thatsurnamesounded
famil
iarbutIcoul
dn'tputmyf i
ngeroni
t
Me:
“Zul
u?”
Man:
“Nokukhanya'
shusbandorshoul
dIsay
Mzwakhe'
sfather”
Me:“
Mzwakhehaveonef
ather
”Hechuckl
ed
andlookedatme
Man:“
Justtel
lhim Iwasher
e”Hegavemehi s
busi
nesscard“Tel
l hi
mthatIwi
l
lbeexpect
ing
hi
scallt
oday”
Me:
“Okay
”It
ookt
hecar
d
Man:“
Hav
eagr eatday
.Youarebeaut
if
ulbyt
he
way”Het
ouchedmychi nIf
rowned.“
Thank
youforyourti
me”Hewi nkedandwalkedout.
I'
m notadetecti
vebutt
herewassomet hing
sini
sterwit
hthi
smanIhopehewon' tcausea
probl
em.Wehadenoughpr obl
emsalready
bakit
hiIt
stimetobehappyandcelebratenow.
Assoonashewasoutofthegat
eIcal
leddad
buthewasnotanswer
inghi
scal
l
.Ical
l
edmy
fi
ancé
I
na:
“MaZwane”Iwasbr
eat
hingheav
il
ymyhear
t
wasbeat
ingf
ast.“
Baby
”
Me:
“I
m scar
edMagr
eei
sof
ftodayI
'
m al
one”
I
na:
“Whyar
eyouscar
edwhathappenedbaby
?”
Me:
”Pl
easecomeIneedy
ou”
I
na:“
Okay”BeforeIev
enexpectedhi
m hewas
t
here.“
Baby”Irantohisarmsandhel
dhim
t
ight
ly“I
m her
enow”Hel etgoofmeIhel
dhi
m
t
ight
er
Me:
“Dontl
eav
emepl
ease”
I
na:
“Whathappened”
Me:“
Thewasadodgymanl ookingfordadher
e.
Iwassoscaredbabyhewaslookingatmewith
bedr
oom eyes”
I
na:
“Whatdi
dhedot
oyou?Di
dhehur
tyou?
”
Me:
“Nohesai
dhewantDad.I
tswas
Mzwakhe'
sst
epf
ather
”
I
na:
“Youshoul
dhavenotlethi
minbaby.Never
l
etst
ranger
sinespeci
all
ywhenyouar
ealone”
Me:
“Idi
dn'
tthi
nkI
m sor
ry”
Ina:“
Dontcr
ynoonei
sgoingtot
ouchyouokay”
Inoddedhepul
ledmebackandwipedmytear
s.
“Ilovey
ou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”Weki
ssed
I
na:
“Iwil
ldri
vey
out oDurbanIwon'
tfor
giv
e
mysel
fifsomet
hinghappentoyoubaby.
”
Me:
“Thanky
ousomuch”
I
na:
“Yousti
llf
eell
ikesomeoneisfol
l
owi
ng
y
ou?”Inodded“Iwondercoul
ditbe”
Me:
“Hav
eyouf
oundMv
elo?
”
I
na:
“Nomay
bei
tshi
m”
Me:“
Youwi
llnev
erknowwit
hthatboy
.I'
m
scar
edI
naIdon'
twanttobehur
tanymore.
”
I
na:“Iwil
lprotect
edy ousthandwasami okay”I
noddedhisphoner angsoIhadt opullbackand
watchhimt akeitoutofhispantst henplacedi
t
onhisear.“Yes..
.Yho..
.ar
ey ousure..
.which
hospit
althanksbr a”
Me:
“Whati
sgoi
ngonbaby
?”
Hebr
eat
hedoutl
oudl
y
I
na:
“Wehavetogotothehospi
tal
myl
ove
Mvel
oover
dosedit
slookver
ybad”
Me:
“OhmyGod”
I
na:“
Dontstresshewillbealr
ight
”Hescooped
meupandwal kedoutwithme.Heputmei nhi
s
darthenwenttohisside.Hestar
tedt
hecarand
drov
eof f
.
•
NARRATED
•
Liwewokeupi nthemi ddl
eoft heni ghtshe
hardl
ysleptherheartwasn'tateaseatal l
.She
l
eanedov erandturnedthebedsi del i
ghton
thentookherphonet ocheckt hetime: 3:
00in
themor ni
ng.Shesighedheav il
yandl ookedat
herhusbandnexttoherwhowassl eeping
peacefull
yandsnoringli
ghtly
.Sher anher
fi
ngerti
psonhisfacehest ir
redandopenedhi s
oneey efoll
owedbyt heother.Hisli
pscur ved
sweetlytothesi
ghtofhisbeaut if
ulwi f
enextto
him.
Wakhe:
“MommyQueen”hesai
dwi
thasexi
est
sl
eepyvoi
ce
Li
we:
“DaddyKi
ngI
'
m sor
ryIwokey
ouup”
Hel
ookedatherst
udy
ingher
Wakhe:
“Whati
sbot
her
ingy
ou”
Li
wesighedandinchedcl
oserpr
essi
ngher
bodyagai
nsthi
s.
Li
we:
“Idon'
tknowhonest
ly”
Wakhe:“
Youl
iketocarrybur
densonyourown
Li
wey ouhav
et oletGodcarr
ythem f
oryou”
Liwe:“
Youareright”Shekissedhisli
psashe
pull
edherclosetohi m wrappi
nghisarms
aroundherbodyt hatfi
ttedper
fectl
yinhi
sar
ms
“Thankyousomuch”
Wakhe:
“Forwhat
?”
Liwe:“
Forbeingt hehusbandt hatyouare.For
l
ov i
ngmewi thy ourheartandsoul
unconditi
onall
y.Forhandl i
ngmeal waysev en
onmywor stday s.Formaki ngmeapr oudly
happil
ymar ri
edwoman.Forbei ngthefat
her
thatyouare.Forbei ngthehandsomemani n
thewhol eworld.”Everysentencewas
accompani edbyki ssesthel astoneli
ngered
makinghi mtomoansof tl
yashesqueezedher
booty.“Imissy ou”
Wakhe:
“Ihav
ebeenher
enj
enamyl
ove”
Liwe:“
Imi
ssy oui nsideofme, l
avi
shingmewith
youramazingdick, connecti
ngwithmysouland
heart,
embracingmybody ”shekissedhi
m aft
er
eachaneverysent enceintensi
fyi
ngtheki
sshe
groanedf
iercely
Wakhe:
“Im notmaki
ngl
ovet
oyouwi
tha
r
ubber”
Li
we:
“ComeonWakhe”
Wakhe:
“Ihaveneverusedpr
otecti
onfrom t
he
dayIt
ooky ourv
irgi
nit
yIwon'
tstartnow”
Li
we:“There'
salwaysfi
rstt
imeforever
ythi
ng”
Shenippedhislowerli
pwhilemassagi
ngan
al
readyerectli
tt
leJobemakinghi
mt oletouta
moan
Wakhe:
“AhhhumhnoobutIt
est
ednegat
ive
nj
enamylove”
Li
we:
“Youknowouragr
eementnj
ena”
Wakhe:
“Let
'sst
ickt
otheagr
eementt
hen”
Li
we:
“Youar
enotser
iousnow”
Wakhe:“
Iwantyoubaby ,
Imi ssedburi
eddeep
i
ntoyou,Imi
ssy ourscr
eams, Iwannafuckyou
r
ightnowunti
lyoupassoutbutwi t
harubber
i
tsabignoforme.Cany oui magineaft
er27
year
sdoingyouwithoutitno”
Li
we:“YoumakeItseem l
i
kei
tsadi
seaset
ouse
arubber”Wakhel
aughed
Wakhe:“
Youaret
heonewhotr
eatmydickasa
di
seasescar
ri
erbuty
ouwanti
t”hesai
d
l
aughing
Liwe:
“Mxm yezwamxm”Shetur
nedandlooked
theothersi
deshi
ft
ingt
othef
arendofthebed.
Wakhe:“
Comeonbabydon' tbemad”Hesai d
shi
ft
ingtoherandpressedhisbodyagai nsther
hi
smanhoodpoki ngherboot yshegasped
makinghimtochuckle“Areyoumadatme”He
ki
ssedthesi
deofherf acewhi l
ecuppingher
boob
Li
we:“
Whywoul
dIwhent
hear
epl
ent
yofdi
cks
outt
here”
Wakhe:
“Li
wedon'tmakememadt
uint
heear
ly
hour
softhemorning”
Li
we:
“Goodni
ghtImeanmor
ningI
'
m sl
eepi
ng
now”
Wakhe: “MommyQueen”shei gnor edhi m“ Baby”
dolol
or esponse“ Li
wewami ”Hehuf fedand
wrappedhi sar m ar
oundher.Theybot hfalli
nto
sl
umberi nthemor ni
ngLiwewokeupand
pull
edar obethenshuffl
edtothebat hroom
whereshet ookasoothingbath.Af t
erbat hshe
dri
edher selfandloti
onedherbodyt hengot
dressed.Shewentdownst ai
rstopr epar e
breakfastforherparentsinl
awandher
husband.Whi l
eshewasbusypr eparing
breakfasthermom anl awwal kedi n
Ndoni
:
“Makot
i”
Li
we:
“Hel
l
oMama”
Ndoni
:
“Howar
eyousi
s”
Liwe:
“I
m goodMayoucansi
tdownIwi
l
lmake
youacupoftea”
Ndoni
satdownj
ustasherdaught
eri
nlawsai
d
“
Howdi
dyousl
eepMama”
Ndoni:
“Icoul
dn'
tsl
eepmychildGogoMsibi
'
s
si
cknessgotevery
oneworr
ied.Thatwoman
hadalwaysbeenwonder
fulandhelpf
ult
ous”
Liwe:
“EyMamaIhavel
ostcountoft
hegood
thi
ngsshehavedonef
orus”shesai
dswit
chi
ng
thecatt
leon
Ndoni :“
Irememberhowshesav edmymar riage.
Iwon' tforgotthosedays.Istil
lremembert hem
viv
idlyIdon' tknowwhatIwoul dhav edone
Zesul i
wei fwedi dn'
tgetthereearly.Atthegeof
26Iwoul dhav ebeenawi dowwi t
ht wotoddl er
s
IswearIwoul dhav edi
edt oo.Iwoul dhavenot
forgavemy selff
orwantingtodi vorci
ngBabazi
i
nst eadofseeki ngthecauseofhi sbehavior
cozsomehowIknewt hathewasn'thi
mselfbut
thesi
tuat
ioncouldn'
tall
owme.Isawmy
marri
agefall
i
ngrighti
ntofrontofme.Those
dayswerethetoughestthr
oughoutour
marri
age”shebli
nkedbackhert ear
s.
Li
we:
“Yousti
l
lthi
nkaboutthet
winsneh”she
madeteaf
orhermom inlawandgaveher
Ndoni
:“
Thanky ou..
.y
eahIm sur
enowt hey
woul
dhav ebeenmar r
iedandhadki
ds”she
smil
edtearsf
alldownherdarkbeat
if
ulface
Liwe:
“I
m sor
ryIfeelyourpai
nMama.Imustsay
youareastr
ongwoman.Noonecansur vi
ve
whatyouwentthrough”
Ndoni:
“LiarIknowsomeonewhowoul dhave
survi
vedwhatIwentt hroughthat
'syoumychil
d.
Youalsowentt hroughal otbutyouaresti
ll
herestr
ongasev erandhol di
ngyourhusband'
s
handthroughev eryt
hing”
Li
we:“
Yahnehandourtoughestday
swere
whenIwasthecausef
orthedeathofhi
s
daughterandforhimtoforgi
vemefort
hat
manifesthowintensel
ydeepl
yhisl
ovei
sforme.
Iwil
lforeverbegrat
efult
ohavehiminmyli
fe.
”
Ndoni
:
“Youst
il
lbl
amey
our
sel
ffort
hat
?”
Me:
“I
tst
il
lhauntmey
ouknow”
Ndoni:“
Iguessi t
snoteasyt ojustfor
giv
e
yoursel
fcozev enBabazi sti
ll
blamehimsel ffor
thedeathoft hetwi
nsbutonet hi
ngIcant ell
youmychi ldiseveryt
hinghappensf ort
he
reason.All
theselif
echal l
engeswef aceare
theretosharpenus.Uy azinaweimbazoi l
olwa
enyeimbazo.Lookingathowhappywear enow
everyt
hingwaswor thitatendoft heday”
Li
we:
“Ev
ery
thi
ngwaswor
thi
tindeed.
”
Ndoni:
“Youknowwhent here'sonepersonthat
deserv
etoliv
eet er
nit
yisGogoMsi bithat
womansav edli
ves.Babaziishereal
ivetoday
becauseofherthemomentwhenIt houghthe
i
sgoneIwi l
lneverseehim again.
”shetooka
swigonherhottea
Me:“Youcansayt hatagainSqalokuhl
eand
Sqalesi
hleareali
vet odaybecauseofher.I'
ma
prophetbecauseofherIsav edli
vesbecauseof
her.Sheisaremar kablewoman.Wear e
bl
essedt ohaveheri nourli
vescantheLor d
havemer cyandspar eusanotheryear
swi thher
Iwon'tsurvi
vewithoutherMama.Ist i
llneed
herguidance,Ist
il
lgetconfusedbysomeot her
vi
sionsanddr eams”shebl i
nkedbackhert ears
Ndoni
:“
Shewil
lbeal
ri
ghtst
handwasamishei
s
astr
ongwoman.Shetoowentthr
oughal
otbut
shesur
viv
ed”
Liwe:
“I
t'
sambokodot
hingweareseedswhen
theybur
yuswegrow,
wesurvi
vethroughi
tal
l
”
Ndoni:
“Ohy
eshoney
.Amandl
a!”sher
aisedup
herf
ist
Li
we:“
Awethu!
”sher
aisedherf
istt
oo.They
l
aughed.
Ndoni
:“Iwantt
othanky
oumychildhowy ou
handl
edMakhosazanasaga.I
tmusthav
ebeen
noteasy
”
Li
we:“
Itwasnoteasyatal
ltot
hinkI'
m st
il
l
suf
fer
ingfr
om t
hatmakemesi ck”
Ndoni
:
“Suf
fer
ing?
"
Li
we:“Yoursonisst
ubbor
nMafornoreason.I
canseehewantmet ogi
vei
nIwon'
tshame”
Ndonilaughed
Ndoni
:
“Igethi
spoi
ntt
hough”
Li
we:
“SoImustwai
tnowunti
ltheendof3
mont
hsy ophel
ani
ni3mont
hs? ”Ndoni
bur
st
i
ntol
aughter
Ndoni
:
“Youf
orgotthatyouaret
heonewho
cameupwit
hthisagreementZes”shesai
d
l
aughi
ng
Li
we:“Yesf
orsafet
yreasonsMawoul
dn'
tyou
havedonethesame?”
Ndoni
:“
NeverBabazimagicsti
ckaddict
ioni
s
t
oohighbaby”Theybursti
ntolaught
er.
Li
we:“Youalwaysknowhowtomakemefeel
bett
erbuttodayhayiy
ouar
efai
l
ingdi
smal
ly”
Theylaughed
Ndoni
:“
For
getaboutt
his3monthsntonnton
andri
dehi
m”Theyshriekedwi
thlaught
er
Li
we:“ThatwhathewantIwon'
tgi
vehi
mthat
sat
isf
action.
”
Ndoni:
“Ohooy ouwi l
lstarv
eti
lldeathI'
mt ell
ing
you”Theyeruptedintolaught
erandcont inued
tal
ki
nggenerally.Theirbondhasalway sbeen
amazingmor ethent hebondLiwehav ewi t
hher
mom.Hermom i nl
awgethermor ethenher
mom does.Thei rhusbandswalkedinlaughing.
Ni
pho:
“Mor
ningMakot
i”
Li
we:
“Mor
ningDad”
Nipho:
“Morni
ngMamazi
”Hecuppedherf
ace
andplant
edapeckonherl
i
ps
Ndoni
:
“Mor
ini
ngBabazi
”
Wakhe:
“Mor
ningMa”
Ndoni
:
“Mor
ningmyson”
Wakhe:
“Howar
eyoumysweetMommyQueen”
Li
we:“
I'
mfi
ne”Shesai
ddoi
ngwhat
evershewas
doi
ng
Wakhe:“Youaresti
l
lmad?”hewhi
sper
edonher
earsendingchi
ll
sdownherspi
ne
Liwe:“
Breakf
astwi
l
l ber
eadyinsec”Shewent
tosetthetabl
eonthedi
ningareaWakhe
foll
owedhim.
Wakhe:
“Youwantmet
ohel
pyou”
Li
we:
“Nah”
Wakhe: “Iwil
l helpyouanyway”Theysett he
tabl
et ogethert hencal
ledthefolks.Wakhesai d
gracet hentheyeatov eraconver sati
on.When
theywer edonet heydr
oveintwosepar atecars
tothehospi taltoseeGogoMsi bi.Theywentt o
herwar dandf oundherwithherhusbandSf i
so,
chil
drenNosi mi loandNtokomal oandt heir
chil
dren.Thehugsandki sseswer esharedthey
ar
emor
eli
keaf
ami
l
ynow.
Ntwenhl
e:“
Thank.
.you
f
or..
coming.
..
.my.
..
chi
ldr
en”shewasst
ruggl
i
ng
t
ospeak
Li
we:
“Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngGogo”
Ntwenhl
e:“
Kuyal
ekuyakemtanami”she
coughedhardSf
isobr
ushedherback
Nosimilo:“
Gogetwat erAmahl e”Amahlei
sher
daughterohy esy oureadt hatr i
ghtaf
tery
ear s
ofsoul searchingsher eal
izethatshewasnota
l
esbiancozshewasbor nlikethatshewasj ust
ali
keroft hi
ngswant ingt oexper i
ence
everyt
hing.Sheendedupget t
ingmarri
edand
havenotonechi ldrenbut3whoal sohave
chil
drenoft heirownt ooandt heyaremarried.
Amahl ecamebackwi thwat erandgaveSifi
so
tohelphiswi fetodr i
nkwat er.
Sf
iso:
“Yougoi
ngtobeokay?”Hiswi
fe'
s
si
cknesswastaki
ngatol
lonhim.Henever
i
maginewhatl
ifewoul
dbeifhiswif
ecanbe
cal
ledtohigherser
vicesasmuchasheis
awarethattheyhavereachedt
hatagewher
e
tomorr
owi snotcert
ain.
Ntwenhle:
“Ye.
.scanItalktoZesuli
wealone”
Sfi
sokissedherfor
eheadt hentheyal
lwalked
out.Li
wewal kedclosertoherbedtear
sr ol
li
ng
downhercheeks
Liwe:“
Youwil
lbefi
neGogo”shet ookher
wrinkl
edhandandkissedi
t.Ntwenhlesmil
ed
tearsfal
l
ingt
hesi
deofherf ace.Youcansee
thatshewasabeautif
ulwomani nheryounger
days.
Ntwenhl
e:“
I'
m proudofyoumychi l
d.Atfi
rstI
wasskepti
calbutyouprovedmewr ong.Your
powerswil
lal
way sli
vewit
hinyou.Yougotital
l
babyyoudon'tneedmeany more”
Li
we: “
Nothat'
snottr
ueGogo.Ist
il
lneedy
our
guidanceandyouri
nter
pret
ati
onofmy
dreams.”
Nt
wenhl
e:“
Youknowev
ery
thi
ngt
haty
ouhav
e
toknownowal lyouneedistostop
undermini
ngyoursel
f,t
ostopquesti
oni
ngGod
andancestor
s,tostopworry
ingtoomuchand
focus.Mypartorrol
einyourjour
neyi
sover
.”
Li
we:“
Gogodon'
ttal
kli
kethatyouar
est
il
lgoi
ng
beher
efort
henext10years”
Nt
wenhl
egi
ggl
edsof
tl
ytear
sfal
l
ing
Ntwenhl
e:“
Iwil
lal
waysbewit
hyoutakemy
wordswit
hy ouwher
every
ougo.Il
oveyoumy
chi
ld”
Li
we:“Thi
sfeel
sli
keagoodbyeIdon'
twanti
tto
beagoodbye.Canyoust
aylongerpl
easewe
st
il
lneedyou.”
Ntwenhl e:
“Youwi l
lbealr
ightt
hatapr
omise.
PleaseZeeI 'm beggi
ngyoudon'tl
ett
hisaf
fect
youcozy oualwayslosefocuswhenyouare
stressed.StayFOCUSsi yezwana?
”
Li
we:
“EhGogo”
Nt
wenhl
e:“
Thatwi
l
lbeal
lmyl
oveIl
ovey
ou”
Li
we:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”Theyshar
edahug
Ntwenhl e:“
DontcrywhenI '
m goneIdon' twant
youalltocr yIwantyout ocelebrate106y ears
ofmyl if
ei nthi
swor l
d.”Liwecriedhar derasIt
regi
steredt ohert
hatt hi
sisreallyagoodby e.
Howwi l
l shecopewithoutGogoMsi bi t
hat
questi
onwasr unningint
ohermi nd.“Callme
memyhusband”Li wewal kedoutandwentt o
call
Sfiso.
Sfi
so:“
MamaMsi
bi”het
ookherhandand
squeezedi
t
Nt
wenhl
e:“
Ndndl
oIl
ovey
ou”
Sf
iso:
“Il
oveyoumor
eyouwill
beokayandwe
wi
llgobackhome”t
ear
str
ickl
edi
nhiseyes
Ntwenhl
e:“
WhenI'm gonedon'
tcr
ycelebr
ate
t
he106y earsofmylif
eandthe80yearsofour
marri
age”
Sf
iso:
“Donttal
kli
kethaty
oust i
ll
gonnaliv
e
moreyears”Heplant
edkissesal
loverherface
“
Youarenotgoi
ngany
wher
eungshi
yanobani
mina”
Ntwenhle:
“I
sikhal
i
lei
nsi
mbi
Ndl
ondl
o”(
thebel
l
hasrang)
Sf
iso:
“No!Thati
snott
rue”
Ntwenhl
e:“
Im sor
ryti
l
lwemeetagai
nmyl
ove”
Themachinesstar
tedbeat
ingr
api
dly
Sfi
so:“Nt
wenhl eNo!Youcan'tdot hatplease
don'tgoplease!”Herantocallhelpeveryone
fol
lowedaf t
erthedoctorandnur ses.They
checkedherandt henshooktheirheads.
Doc:“Ti
meofdeat h10:45”Thewar dwasfi
ll
ed
wit
hpai nf
ulcr
ies.MayYourSoul RestI
nPeace
Ndlondlo,
Mabuy a,Gul
iwe,Ndlondl
oeyadl
a
ubulongweyali
bala,Si
wela,Gasa!Ukul
wil
e
UkulwaOkuhle.
[
06/
02,
19:
06]W:
91
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwaswokenupbyawar mtoungetwir
li
ng
aroundmyclit
ori
sIgaspedinmysleepasitf
elt
l
ikeadream soIopenedmyey esMuziwas
stuff
edbet
weenmyt highsandLamiwasnot
nexttous.
Hel i
ckedmeupanddowni nasl owmot ion
tort
uouslyincr
easi
ngthespeedohf uck.He
blewairIgrowledl
oudlyast
hewar m mi nt
breathehitmynuncausingfr
issonthroughmy
body.
Me:“AaahhhMuzi ii
i
!”Hepl underedmewi thhis
toungegoi ngdeeperanddeeper .Ididn'
tknow
whatt ohol dorwhatt osayhist oungewas
doingunbel ievabl
yamazingt hingsdownt her
e.
Hei nsertedt wofi
ngerswhi l
erubbingmycl i
t
withhi sthumb“ Offuckbaby !
!”Ibit
emyl iphard
squeezi ngmyboobwi ththeot herhandwhile
theot heroneshov ehim deeperi nt
ome.Wav e
ofpleasur eshotthroughmybody“ Im cuming
ahaah”
Muz
i:
“Cum babyohy
escum”
Me:
“Ohy
eahahhOhy
eahhh”
Muzi:
“Iwantyoutocum inmymout hbabyI
wanttotast
ey ourdel
ici
ousjui
ceohfuck”
sweetspamsshott hr
oughmecr eati
ngamind
bl
owingsensationuponorgasm
Me:
“OoohhhYeeees!
”
Muz i
:“
Fuck!
”Hel
ickedmecleanandcr awl
edon
topofmemakingsurehedoesn'tputtoomuch
weightonmytummy“ Mor
ningbeautif
ul”He
plant
edapeckonmyl i
psbutIwantedmor e,
sucki
ngandsandwichi
nghi
slipsbetweenmy
l
ips
Me:
“Mor
ning”Iwhi
sper
ed
Muz i
:
“ Whyar
eyouwhisperi
ng”Hewiggl
edhis
eyebrowsheissuchagorgeousbast
ardthi
s
one.
Igiggl
edhidi
ngmyf acewi
thmyhandsIcan
feelhi
m hardagai
nstmyfannyandt
hatmzal
a,
t
hatmademey ear
nforhi
m If
eltmy
sel
fget
ti
ng
wet
teral
lov
eragai
n.
Muz i
:“
Yourmoansaret hemostdel i
ciousnoise
Ihaveheardandyourjuicesbestl
iquidIever
tast
edinmyl i
fe”Ibi
temyl i
p“Dontdot hat
”
Me:
“Dowhat
?”
Muz i
:“
Biti
ngy ourl i
pitturnsmeont hatIwantt
o
fucky our i
ghtnow”Ohf uckmebaby !YesI
wanty oudeepi ntomeIwannaf eelyourcock
i
nt ome.“ ButIdon' twantt ohur tyou”Youwon' t
hurtme.Her olleddownf rom me“ Iwil
lgorun
usabat h”Hesl idoutofbedIwat chedhim
wal kedtot hebat hroom hehav efi
rm niceass
andbeaut i
fulsexyhai r
yt highsandl egs.Oh
Sibawodi !I
st histortur
eort ort
ure.Heat eme
sogoodIwon' tli
ebutIwant edmor e.Isl
apped
mynun
Me:“Behavey ourselfsi
sekuhambeni
la!
”I
sl
appedmy selfharderandthatmadethi
ngs
worse.Fuck!
MyphonerangIleanedoverandt
ooki
tfr
om
t
hebedside.“
Ntshimpiyami”
Tbose:
“Heybr
a”Okayhesoundedsosad
Me:
“Heywhat
sap”
Tbose:
“Imessedupman”
Me:“Tal
ktomeTbose”Het
oldmewhatwent
downmyheartski
ppedabeat
.“OhmyGod
Tbosehowisshe?”
Tbose:
“Shehav
ebeencry
ingthewhol
eni
ght
manIdontknowwhatt
odoitshurt
s”
Me:
“I
m sor
rydon'
tbl
amey
our
sel
f”
Tbose:“
It
smyf aul
tKatIhav
ebeenst
ressi
ng
heralotlat
ely
.”
Me:“WhatdoyoumeanbythatIhopey
ouar
e
notcheat
ingonmysist
erbr
a”
Tbose:
“NoI'm notcheatingonherIwi
llnever
.
YourememberIt ol
dy ouonedayIwil
ltakeover
dad'
sil
li
citbusinesses?”
Me:
“Yes”
Tbose:
“Shedoesnotappr
ove”
Me:
“Havey
outol
dherwhyt
hesebusi
nesses
meanssomucht
oyou?”
Tbose:
“No”
Me:“Tal
ktoherTbosemakeherunderst
and.
Shemustbescaredthatshewil
ll
oseyou.You
knowgangst
eri
sm li
feisnotguar
ant
eed.”
Tbose:
“Iheary
out
hanky
ou”
Me:
“I
m sor
ry”
Tbose:
“Whenar
eyoucomi
ngbackImi
ssy
ou”
Me:“
Iwast hi
nki
ngofcomi
ngthedaybefor
ethe
weddingbutnowIthav
etobesoonert
henthat
.
Kuhl
eneedme”
Tbose:
“Kuhl
ehav eusKatyouneedallt
heti
me
tohealt
hatsidedon'
trushtocomebackokay”
WellheknowswhatwentdownIt oldhi
m when
hecamet oseemeatt hehospi
tal
andhe
promisedthathewon'ttellany
oneandt onot
hurtPKcozuzobhekananami ngqo.Idon't
havetosayItrusthim Imeanhi m andmy sel
f
shareabigsecrettogetherandwewi ll
takeitto
ourgraves.
Me:
“Okaybr
athanks”
Tbose:
“Sur
eIhav
etogo”
Me:
“Best
rong”
Tbose:
“Sure”Ihangupandt ossedmyphone
asi
dethenbur sti
ntot
ears.Howcoul dyoudo
thi
smaraGod.Mypr i
ncesswi l
lalway
sremind
herofherson.Ifel
tarmswr appingar
oundme.
Muz
i:
“HeyThandi
lewhat
'swrong”Icr
iedhar
der
“
Youarescar
ingmeThandi
lepleaset
alktome”
Me:“
My.
.mysist
erhadami
scar
ri
ageshewas
si
xmonthsl
i
keme”
Muz i
:
“Ohsthandwasami I'
m sor
ry”He
embracedme“ I
m sorry
”Icouldfeelt
hepainmy
si
sterisgoi
ngthroughIknowhowi t
sf eel
no
onedeser
vet
hat
.
Me:
“Ihav
etogohomesheneedme”
Muz
i:
“Ohwhen”hesai
drat
herdi
sappoi
nted
Me:
“Ev
ennowIcancal
ldaddyt
osendt
hej
et”
Muz
i:
“Cany
ouat
leastst
ayf
ort
odaypl
ease”
Me:
“Why
?”
Muzi:
“Iwanttoknowy ou,
Iwantmor
eofyou,
youareanintr
iguingwoman,
yougotmeso
mesmer i
zed.Please”
Me:
“Idon'
tknowMuzomuhl
e”
Muzi
:“
Pleasebaby”Itur
nedandl
ookedathi
m
andhestarer
ightbackatme
Me:
“Ki
ssmef
ir
st”Hechuckl
ed
Muz i
:
“Idon'
tdoki
sses”Il
ookedathim wit
ha
rai
sedbrowwhodoesntdokissesyagulayi
nil
o
guy(i
sthisguymad?)
Me:“
Ahwell
”Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
sand
t
urnedar
oundbuthest
oppedmeandpl
aster
ed
hi
slipsonmyl i
pskissi
ngmesoint
ensel
y,
deeplyhi
stoungedancingi
nmymouthsending
el
ectri
csparkthr
oughmywholebodyIswearI
hadami nior
gasm.
•
VI
NCENT
•
Ilov
emywi fesomuchsheissoperfecti
n
morethenonewaybutwhenther
e'sonethi
ng
shecan'
tdoisbei
ngasuperwoman.Shenev er
knowhowt obal
ancewor
kandwi f
edut i
es.
TrustmeIdon' twanthertoquitworkbutifI'
m
gonnasl eepaloneandwakeupal one
then.
..
.Ev ersi
nceshetookoverherparents
companyshei shardl
yaroundagaininfacti
ts
worset henwhatuset obe.
Imademywayt oheroff
iceandf oundher
worki
ngherey
esgluedonthelaptopshedidn'
t
heart
hedooropennorf
eltmypr esence.
Me:“Youar
eov erworkingyour
self
”Sheshif
ted
hergazefr
om thelaptopandlookedatme.Her
eyeswereredandshel ookedti
redIf
eltsor
ry
forher.
Wif
ey:
“Um yes”shey
awnedcoveringhermouth
wi
thherl
efthandherri
ngspar
kled.Ishuf
fl
ed
t
owardsher.
Me:“Onewoul
dswearImarri
edmysel
fthewayI
sl
eepandwakeupalone”Isai
dsi
tt
ingonher
deskfaci
ngher
.
Wifey
:“Idon'
twantt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
oui
tsal
ast
t
hingthatIwant.
”
Me:“I
m notfi
ght
ingwi
thyouSi
hle.Wetalked
aboutthi
sbefor
ebutyouar
erepeati
ngthe
sameshit!”
Wif
ey:
“Youareshouti
ngri
ghtnowandIdon'
t
hav
eti
mef orthi
sIhavetoprepar
emysel
ffor
mymeeting”sheyawnedagain
Me:
“Ar
eyoumar
ri
edt
oyourwor
korme?
”
Wi
fey:
“LordJesushel
pme!
”herey
esgl
azed
wi
thboredom
Me:“Youarenotachi l
dSi hl
est opbehav i
ngl i
ke
onewecan' tkeepfightingov ersamet hing
everyday.Wehadthi stalkmont hsbackbut
herewear etodaytalkingaboutt hesameshi t.
Youneedt oacceptt hatyoucan' tbal
ancey our
wor kandpersonal
lifei t
snoti ny ourDNAj ust
quitalr
eady”
Wifey:“I
m sti
l
ltry
ingtoadj
ustVincent
everythi
ngwillbebacktonormalonceIm used
tothisthanksanywayforthesupportmy
dearesthusband”Isighedheavil
yandfl
inched
myf i
st s
Me:“Im..
.”sheraisedherhandstoppi
ngme
from tal
kingasherphoner ang.Sheanswered
herphone“ Nhlanzeko.
..
”ThemomentIhear d
thatnameIcl enchedmyj aws.Heisthereal
reasonwhyIhav ebeengrumpyaboutthisnew
positi
on.Theguyi sfor
cingmet ospil
lsome
bl
oodheisbusywooingmywi fe.Mywi feis
beaut
if
ulandshei
salway ssur
rounded&
worki
ngwithmenmost l
yIcan'
thelpbutfeel
sometypawaynotthatIdon'
ttrusther
.“Okay
bye”
Me:“
Whyishecal
lingyoushoul
dn'
thebe
cal
l
ingy
ourassi
stance”
Wi
fey
:“Ineedt
ogo.
..”shest
oodup
Me:
“Si
hleI
'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou!
”
Wifey:“
Pleasedon'tt
ellmeyoufeel t
hreatened.
YouknowIl oveyouonly.
”Shekissedmycheek
andwal kedawayIgr abbedherarm andpul l
ed
herclosebef or
edevouri
nghersoftlipswith
mine.Myhandswentdownt oherbigroundass
andsqueezedi tinmypalms.Shemoaned
softl
yinmymout h“Ahhh”Herphoner ang
Me:
“Theywil
lcal
lagai
nleti
tri
ngIwanty
ouI
mi
ssy ou”
Si
hle:
“I
tcoul
dbei
mpor
tantbaby
”Shewentt
o
takeherphone.“Sbalisami.
..
.ohno.
..
howis
she..
.whi
chhospital
...
thankyouforl
ett
ingme
know”shel ookedflushed
Me:
“Whati
swr
ong?
”
Sihl
e:“
Ihav etogotothehospitalmytwinwas
admitt
edl astni
ghtshelostthebaby”she
whisperedthelastpar
ttearsgli
steni
nginher
eyes
Me:“
Ohthatissosad”Ipull
edheri
nmyar ms
“I
m sor
ry”Iki
ssedherhead.It
ookherl
aptop
bagandherhandbagthenwewalkedout.
Wif
ey:
“Zanelecancelal
lmymeeti
ngstodayI
hav
eacr i
sisthatneedmyatt
ent
ion
i
mmediatel
y ”shesaidt
other
ecepti
oni
st.
Zanel
e:“
YesMr sZ”Al
lthi
sti
mesheislooki
ng
atme.WellIgett
hatalot
.Konkecal
l
edmeas
wewereattheparki
nglot
Me:
“Pr
incess”
Konke:
“DadIhav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lyou”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryt
alkt
odaddy
”
Konke:
“Mzwakhe'
sst
epfatherwasher
ehe
gavemehiscardt
otel
lyoutocall
him”
Me:
“Whatdoeshewant
?”
Konke:
“Hedi
dn'
tsayhel
ookdodgydaddy
”
Me:“Iwonderwhatdoeshewanthebet
terbe
notheretocauseprobl
em Ihav
emanypeopl
e
toki
llbutIgotonebull
et”
Konke:
“Heistotal
l
yher
etocauseprobl
emsdad
hewastouchingmychi
nandlookingatmewit
h
thewaythatmademeuncomfortabl
e”Whaat
!!
Me:
“Bast
ardwhydi
dnty
oucal
lmeKonke!
”
Konke:
“Icoul
dn'
treachy
oudaddy
”
Me:
“I
m sor
ry.
..
Heistheonet
hatabandoned
Mzwakhewhatdoeshewantnow”
Konj
e:“
Idon'
tknowI
'
m att
hehospi
tal
now
Mvel
oov er
dosed
Me:
“Thatboyneedhel
p.Hehav
etogot
othe
r
ehabhewi
l
lbeal
ri
ght
.”
Konke:
“That
'st
rue.
..
thecar
disont
hecount
er”
Me:
“okaybaby
”
Konke:
“By
e”
Me:“
Mylov eyouwi l
lhavetogoaloneIhav
e
somethi
ngt otakecareof.Appar
entl
y
Mzwakhe'sstepfatherwasatmyhouse
scar
ingmydaught er”
Wif
ey:“
Whatt
hef
uckdoest
hatcr
uel
bast
ard
want”
Me:“
Awsemuhlenjeukut
hukakangaka”(
You
ar
ebeaut
if
ulforsweari
ng)Shegi
ggled.
Wifey
:“I
m sor
ry”Ipl
antedapeckonherl
i
psand
putal
lherbagsinhercar.“
Ilov
eyou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”Weki
ssed
Wif
ey:
“Deal
withthatmanNgetheorIwi
l
ltel
l
I
ssytodealwi
thhim”Welaughed
Me:
“Andshewi
l
lshame”Thatgi
rli
sonf
ir
eI'
m
tel
li
ngy ou.Nowondermysoni sgoingcrazy
withhery ouknowifmydaught erwasl i
keIssy
Iwillhavenowor ri
esint heworldnotthatI
mindIl oveprotect
ingmychi ldr
enbutKonkei s
toosof tandweak.Ilookedatmywi fegett
ingi
n
hercart hendroveoff.Igotinmycart ooand
drovehome.WhenIar ri
vedIfoundthe
businesscar dandcalledtheman
“
Iwaswai
ti
ngf
ory
ourcal
l
”
Me:
“Zul
uhowcanIhel
pyou”
“
Canwemeetpl
ease”
Me:
“Wher
e?”
“
Icandr
ivet
oyourhouse”
Me:“Iwil
lbewai t
ing”Ihungup.Laterhearr
ived
andIwassor eadyforhim.Ist
udiedhim ashe
walkedin.Ihaveashar pnoseIcansmell
si
nisteral
loverhim.
Zul
u:“
MrZwane”
Me:
“Comet
hissi
de”Wewal
ktot
hel
i
vingr
oom
“
Youwantany
thi
ngt
odr
inkwhi
skey
,jui
cet
ea?
”
Zul
u:“Whiskey
”Ipour
edJackDani
elint
otwo
gl
assesandgav ehi
m“ Thanky
ou”Isatdown
andlookedathim
Me:
“HowcanIhel
pyouZul
u”
Zulu:
“Iknowthatyouhaven'
ttoldMzwakhe
whatr eal
l
yhappenedbetweeny ouandhi s
Mamasomyquest i
onishowf arareyou
preparedtokeepmeshut”Hesi ppedonhis
whiskeyandIlaughedl
ikereal
lylaughed.Thi
s
fool!
Me:“Iseey
oudi
dn'
tdoar
esear
chaboutme
Mageba”
Zul
u:“
I'
m notscar
edofy
ou”
Me:
“I
sit
?”
Zul
u:“
Yeah.Ir
aisedt
hisboyy
ouhav
etopay
me”
Me:“
Rai
sed?Don'tmakemelosemycool
you
al
l
owedy ourwi
fetoabusehi
m!!
”Hewas
maki
ngmeangr
y
Hegulpeddownhiswhiskeyandfrownedashe
tookoutabul
letf
rom hi
smout h.Hiseyes
poppedoutandhisf
aceflushedwithfear
.
Me:“
Ify
ousti
llv
alueyourl
if
estayt
hef uckout
ofmyfami
lydohearmeory ouwantthatbull
et
bet
weenyoureyes”Withi
nasecondhewason
hi
sfeet
Zulu:
“No.
.no.
.no.”heswal
lowedhar
dIcansee
thathewasshaki ngwi
thfear
.Bl
oodyner
ve
whodoeshet hinkheis.
•
SQALOKUHLE
•
Icoul
dn'tstopmyt earsfrom fall
i
ngmyhear t
wasbeat i
ngslowlyli
keitwi l
lstopbeatingany
momentact uall
ythatwoul dbeagoodt hing
cozthathowIwasf eel
ing.Iwasdeadi nside,i
t
waslikesomeoneshotabul letstrai
ghtintomy
hear
t.
Iwaslooki
ngforwardtobondanother3
monthswit
hhim befor
eheisdue.Withi
na
twi
nkli
ngofaneyeheisgonewhyme?That
wasthequesti
onthatl
inger
edi
nmymi nd.
Maybether
e'ssomethi
ngIdidwrong?
Tbosehavebeenher ewithmeli
steni
ngt
omy
nonstopsobs.Ihaven'tsai
dawordtohi
m not
thatIhadsomethi
ngt osaytohi
m.
Whatwoul dIsaytoPhakamani ?ThatIfai
ledto
carr
yhissonunt i
lheisdue.Ihatedmy sel
fwhat
afail
ureIcoul
dn'tdoonesimpl ethingj
ustto
carr
yababyt ofullt
ermli
keot herwoman.I
fai
l
edmysonIf ail
edtogivehiml i
fe.
Tbose:
“I
m sor
rybabyIwishther
e'ssomethi
ngI
candotomakey oufeel
bett
er”hekissedmy
hand
Me:“That'
sathi
ngther
e'snot
hingy
oucando
Tbose.”Iwhi
spered
Tbose:“
It
sal lmyf aul
tI'
mr eal
lysorryfort
he
pai
nandst ressIputy outhroughI twasnever
myintenti
onpl easeforgi
veme”hi sv oi
cewas
cl
osetot earsandt hatpi
ercedthroughmy
hear
t.Hei snotthet ypet
hatcryeasi l
y.
Me:
“Howl
ong?
”
Tbose:
“Baby
?”
Me:
“Howlonghaveyoubeencheat
ingonme?
”I
whi
sper
edyetagai
n
Tbose:
“Cheat
ingnev
ermyl
ove”
Me:“Dontmakemeaf ool
Tbose!
!”Thatcame
outasagruffwhi
sper
Tbose:
“Iswearbaby”Il
ookedint
ohiseyes
sear
chi
ngf ort
hetruthcozi
tlookli
kehewas
aboutt
ol i
etome.
Me:“
Sot
hepicsIr
eceivedyouandy
ourex
ki
ssi
ngwer
ephotoshopped?”
Heswal
l
owedhar
dandcl
enchedhi
sjaws
Tbose:“
Lookmyl ovesheki
ssedmeIpushed
her.Lat
oyawantt ocomebetweenusplease
don'tal
l
owherbaby .Iwoul
dneverdothatt
o
youKuhleletal
onewi t
hLat
oyaIlovey
ouso
muchbaby .”
Hegotupf rom t
hechairandplant
edkissesall
overmywetf ace“Lat
oyaisabitchsheisthe
onethatbrokemyheartnowt hatI
'm happyshe
wanttodestroymyhappinesswithyou.Please
tel
lmey oubeli
evemebabyy ouhav etobeli
eve
me”
Throughhisgli
steningey esIsawsinceri
tythat
mademecr yharderIlostmybabyf oraki
ssa
l
ousykiss“Im sorrymyl oveIm sososorry”He
satnexttomeandpul l
edmet ohisarms
embracingme.“ Thatbit
chi sthereasonwhy
youlostthebabyGodhel pme! ”Hesnort
ed
Me:
“Donthur
therTbose”
Tbose:“
Shehur
tyoubaby
!Ourbabyi
sgone
becauseofher
!Shei
sgoingt
opayIswearon
mymot
her
'sgr
aveshewi
l
lpay
!”
Me:
“Rev
engewon'
tbri
nghi
m backbaby
.Let
Kar
madealwi
thher
”
Tbose:
“I
'mreal
l
ysorryngi
cel
auxol
oMaj
obef
or
thepai
nIhavecausedyou.
”
Me:
“I
tsnoty
ourf
aul
tTbose”
Tbose:“
Imt heonewhohav
ebeenstressi
ngy
ou
babythenLatoyahadtomaket
hingsworseI
'
m
real
l
ysor r
y”
Il
ookedupathim hewipedmytearsandkissed
myf or
ehead“Ngi
yaxol
i
sa”(I
'
m sor
ry)Tear
s
escapedhisf
ace
“I
mr eal
lysor
ryIpr
omisedthatIwi
ll
forev
er
prot
ectyoubutnowyouarelyi
nginthi
sbed.
..
.”
Ii
nterr
uptedherwi
thakiss
Me:“
Letmakeababy”Helookedatmeshocked
“
PleaseKhuzway
oletmakeourownbabynow”
Helookedatmewit
hpit
yinhiseyes
Tbose:
“Babyy
ouneedt
oheal
fir
st”
Me:
“Youdon'
twantt
ohav
eababywi
thme?
”
Tbose:
“Ofcour
senotbabyt
her
e'snot
hingI
want.
..
”
Me:“
Thenwhydon'
tyouwantust
omakea
baby
”
Tbose:
“i
tsnott
hatIdon'twantmyl oveyou
needti
metohealfi
rstbeforetry
ingforababy
.I
wil
lbemorethenhappyt o.
..
.”
Me: “
Iwantnowbabypleasef
uckmepr egnant”
Iranmyf i
nger
ti
psonhisface“Iwantt
ocar r
y
yourbabymylove.Ourbundl
eofjoyami ni
you
please”
Ikissedhim deepl
ywhil
etrav
eli
ngmyhandto
hisbulgeheletoutasoftmoaninmymouth.
Hest oppedmyhandasIunbuckl edhi
sbel
t.
Tbose:
“Uhhahhhbabyt
rustmet
hisi
snott
he
ri
ghtti
metomakeababy ”
Me:
“I
tisbabyI
'
mready
”Iki
ssedhi
m
Tbose:
“Myl
ovey
ouar
ehur
ti
ngr
ightnow.We
wi
llmakeourbabywheny
ouhav
eheal
edI
pr
omiseyou”
Me:“Youdon'
twanttohaveababywit
hme
TbosecozI'
m gonnamiscar
ryi
tli
ket
hisone
i
sn't
?”
Tbose:
“Baby
..
.”
Me:
“It
hinky
oushoul
dgonow”
Tbose:
“Lov
e..
.”
Me:“
Go!
”Hesi
ghedheav
il
yandgotupf
rom t
he
bed.
Tbose:“Il
ovey
ou”Heki ssedmyf oreheadand
l
eft.Icri
edunt
ilIf
allasleep.Iwokeuplatert
o
thesightofmybrothersandmysi ster
s
Si
hle:
“HeyTwinnie”WehuggedIbur
sti
ntotear
s.
“I
m sorr
yTwinnieImreal
l
ysorry
”shest
roked
myback
Me:“
Im afai
lureTwinni
eIf
ail
edmyson.What
ki
ndofamot herIam.May
be..
.may
beGod
knewthatIwasgonnabeabadmot herhence
het
ookmybabyboy
”
Sihl
e:“Thatisnott
ruesweet
heart
.Youarenota
fail
urepleasedon'
tblameyour
selff
ort
his”
Thando:“
Yeahy oucan'tblamey oursel
fit'
snot
yourfaul
t.I
'm sor
rysis”Shewr appedherar ms
aroundus.Thebrothersjoinedin.Ifel
tloved,
I
l
ov ethebondwehav eassi bli
ngs.
I
na:
“Doy
ouneedany
thi
ng?
”
Me:
“Nol
i
ttl
ebr
obutt
hanky
ou”
Mj:
“Thefol
ksar
eonthewaytherewerenot
gonnacomebackunt
ilt
heburi
alofGogoMsibi
but.
..
..
”
Me:
“GogoMsi
bii
snomor
e?”
Si
hle:
“Yesi
tssosad”
I
na:
“Aykodaugoduki
l
eebesekhul
i
leumakhul
u”
Mj
:
“106y
ear
s”
Thando:
“WownowIal
sowi
sht
oli
vet
hatl
ong”
Me:
“Shewasagr
eatwomanmayhersoul
rest
i
npeace”
Sihl
e:“
IwonderhowMamai
staki
ngherpassi
ng
theywerereal
l
yclose”
I
na:
“Shegotdadshewi
l
lbeal
ri
ght
”
Me:
“Hav
eany
onet
alkedwi
thI
ssyImi
ssher
”
Mj:
“Andt
othi
nkther
e'st
womor
eweeksl
eftf
or
hert
ocomeback”
Thando:“
Sheisreall
yenj
oyi
ngbigwater
sand
shemett heguythatsav
edherli
fewhen
Phumlasentpeopletobeatherupsheseem t
o
beint
erestedi
nhim”
Me:“Whatreal
lyhappenedbetweenPhaksand
herforhertocal
lthi
ngsoffbetweenthem.
Thosetwol ov
eeachot her
.WhatPhaksandI
hadisnothi
ngcompar edtowhattheyhave”
Sihl
ewipedmyt ears
Si
hle:
“I
m sogladhowyoutwoworkthingsout
I
'm pr
oudofyouguys”Ismi
ledmoretearsran
downmyf aceIusedt
hebackofmyhandt o
wi
pet
hem.
Wecontinuedandtalked,laughingmysi bl
ings
companyisalwaysthebestt heyknowhowt o
makemel aughandf orgetwhenI 'mi npain.Ina
wenttobuyfoodforusweat etogether.We
spendal
mostt hedayt ogether.Wewer e
di
stur
bedbyPhakamani whowheel edhi mself
i
n.
Phaks:
“Sani
bonani
”(gr
eet
ings)
Us:
“Hey
”
Phaks:“
Hey”Hesai
dlooki
ngatmewi
thpai
nin
hi
sey esIl
ookeddown
Si
hle:
“Uhm wewi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
saspace”They
al
lwalkedout
.
Me:“
Im sor
ry”Itwi
ddledmyfinger
slooki
ng
downashewheel edhimsel
fclosetomybed.
“I
m sor
ryIcouldn'
tcarr
yoursonI..
.”
Phaks:
“Heyheylookatme”Hetookmyhands
i
ntohis“LookatmeKuhle”Il
ookedathi
m“I
ts
notyourfaul
tdon'tblameyoursel
ffort
hat.Onl
y
Godknowswhyhet ookourson.Wejusthave
toaskstr
engthfrom himtodeal wi
ththi
spain.
I
'mreall
ysorry”
Me:“Youal
readylostt
het
winsPhaksnowi
t'
s
oursonit
sjusttoomuch”
Phaks:
“Wewil
lbeal
rightpleasedon'
tcr
y”I
fr
eedmyhandfrom him andwipedmytear
s.
“I
tsgoi
ngtobeokay”
Me:“Idon'
tthi
nkIwil
lev
erbeovert
hispai
n.I
al
readylostyoudi
dIhavetol
osehimtoo?”
Hesi
ghedandl
ookedatme
Phaks:
“I
'm sorr
yhowt hingst
urnedoutbet
ween
usI'
mreallysorr
y.Inevermeanttobreaky
our
hear
tKuhle.”
Me:
“Iknow”Heki
ssedbot
hofmyhands
“Nowyouaretakingitt
oof arPhakamani”Said
Tboseashewal kedi
n.Hehadchangedi nt
o
newcleancl
othes.navylecoqshort,
blacklecoq
golf
erandwhi
tel
ecoqsneaker
s.Hi
sey
eswer
e
redandpuf
fy.
Phaks:
“Hel
l
otoy
out
ooTbose”
Tbose:“
Takey
ourhandsof
fmywoman'
s
hands”
Phaks:
“Ohcomeonbr
awej ustl
ostababycan
youall
owusmournwi
thpeace”
Tbose:
“Thatdoesn'
tgi
veyouari
ghtt
okissher
handsthatgest
uredoesn'
tsi
twel
lwi
thme”
Phakamani
kissedmyhandsagai
nthenl
ooked
atTbosewi
thasmirk
“
Iwill
fucky ouupPKyouwi
l
lregr
ett
hedayyou
wereborn!Thatmywomanyoudon'
tgett
odo
whatyouwantwi t
hher
”
Phaks:
“Youdon'tgettobeangrybecauseI
ki
ssedherhandsy oufuckedmyKitKatTbose
andforthatbr
aIwi l
lfor
everhat
eyou!”
Tbosesighedandbr
ushedbackhi
slose
dreadl
ocks
Tbose:“
LookbraI'
m sor
ryokaypl
easefor
give
me.Inevermeanttohurty
ou.Shewasinabad
spaceandIhatedtoseeherint
hatst
ate.
..
.”He
i
nterr
uptedhi
m
Phaks:
“Don'
ty oudaremakeitsoundlikeyou
weredoingthatforher
.Youwant edtofuckher
!
Isawthewayy ouwerelooki
ngatherforall
thesey
ears.Don'tmakemeaf ool!
”
Tbose:
“Yesi
tstrueIwant
edhervel
ebutshe
waswithyouman.Sheloveyoumanherheart
bel
ongtoyou!”
Phaks:
“Onemi st
akeandy oucouldn'
twaitto
j
umpi nt
oherpant s!Youcal
ledyourselfmy
fr
iendTbosethroughherIfoundaf r
iendinyou
butyoustabbedmeonmyback! ”
Tbose:
“I
m sorr
ybr
aokayIwi
shwecanputt
his
behi
ndplease.
”
Phaks:“
Never!Al
lthepai
nIwentt
hroughi
s
becauseofyou!”
Tbose:
“Yadakwamanj
eInevert
oldyoutocheat
wit
hsister
s.Youdi
dal
loft
hatforyour
selfbr
a.”
Phaks:
“Wherev
eryouareinvol
vedI'
minf
li
cted
wit
hpainTbose.Youfuckedmywoman, my
twi
nsdiedbecauseofyounowi t
smyson!”
Me:
“Wi
l
lyout
wost
opi
tnowi
tsenough”
Phaks:“
Nonothi
ngi senoughy eTboseent l
ek
whatyourprobl
em huh?Whyar eyoualways
ontome.Whathav eIdonet omakey ouhate
mel i
kethi
s?Couldn'
tatleastafterwhatyoudid
al
lowmet oseemysongr owup”
Me:“
Tbosedi
dn'tdoany
thi
ngPhakamani
you
ar
ebeingunf
airnow”
Phaks: “
YourdoctortoldmeKuhl ethaty
our
bloodpr essur
ewast oohighy ouareunderalot
ofstressobv i
ousthisbastardgottodowith
that!
!Youf ail
edtotreatherwellandnowshe
l
ostt hebabyy ouknowi fIknowbet t
erI
'dsay
youdi dthisonpurpose.Youwant edmet o
suffer.Bravoyouwonbr aI'm br
okenbeyond.
Myheirt
hatwasgoi ngtoextentt
he
MngomezuluclanisgoneandIcouldnever
havechi
l
dren.Ihateyoubra.Ihat
eyou”Tears
rol
l
eddownhi sfacenowthatwasdeep.
Tbose:
“I
m sor
ry.
..
”
Phaks:
“Sorr
ywon'tfi
xanyt
hing.Youputher
underalotofst
ressmaannowourbabyboyi s
gonefuckyoubastar
d!”
Tbose:“If
ull
ytakeresponsi
bili
tyfort hatbutat
l
eastIIdi dn'
tlaymyhandonher ”Phaks
l
ookedatTboseshocked“ Iknowy ouhav ebeen
abusingKatemot i
onall
yandphy sicall
ythatwhy
sheleftyoushewast ir
edofbei ngy our
punchingbagMrsanct imonious”Igaspedi n
shock
“Wenzeenii
?”(Whaaat
?)Weal ll
ookedupthat
wasmydadl ooki
ngscaryashellbehi
ndhi
m
thewasmom whohadr edface,noseand
bloodshoteyes.
[
06/
02,
19:
06]W:
92
SQALOKUHLE
•
Ithoughtitwasami sunderstandingor
somet hingcl
oset othatbutPhaksdemeanor
wasar easonenoughf ormet obebey ond
spookedInev erthoughtPhaksi sav i
olentt
ype
ofperson.Iguesshiscur rentpr edicament
drovehi mtotheedge.Asf orIssyIcan' tbel
ieve
sheletPhaksabusedherIguessPhakamani 's
l
ov emakeherweakandv ulner able.
“Ngi
y akhulumaphelaangisuzi!
!”(I
'
mt alki
ngI'
m
notfarthi
ng)snortedmydad.Icoul dseePhaks
sweat i
ngonhi swheel
chairifhewaswal ki
ngI
swearhewoul dhaveranawaynow.Iwonder ed
whatdi dtheydotohimt hedayt heyfoundout
hewascheat i
ngonmewi thIssyhelooked
real
l
yt err
ifi
ed.
Phaks:
“I
m sor
ryMrSIdidntmeantoabuseher
i
nanykindofway.Idon'
tknowwhatwas
happeni
ngtomeI'
m sososorry
”hisvoi
cewas
shaki
ng.Mom wasshockedasIwaswhi
l
edad
wasfumingwi
thanger.
Dad:
“YePhakamani usi
sthathaphi
isi
bindi
esi
kangakazokushayaumt anami?”(
Howdare
youhitmychil
d?)
Phaks:
“I
m sor
ryMrS.
..
.”hei
nter
rupt
edhi
m
Dad:
“Ny
ory
?Ist
hatwhaty
ougonnasay
?Dont
makememadwena!!
”
Mom:
“Youneedt
ocal
m downDaddyKi
ng”
Dad:“
Calmi sthel
astthingIwantri
ghtnowmy
l
ovet hi
sboymadeourdaught erhispunching
bag,mypr i
ncessheeemadodangi yavivi
nywa!
Shehav ebeensupporti
vetowardshim
thr
oughoutthissi
tuati
on,pour
ingallherlov
eto
himisthathowhet hankherbybeatingher
up!!
”Her oar
edinangerandmar chedt oPhaks
whowheel edhimselfbackwar
d
Mom:“
Mawakhel
omuzipl
ease,
ngi
yakcel
a
ehl
i
saumoy
a”(pl
easecal
m down)
Phaks:
“Iwi
shIcanshowyoumyhear thow
sor
ryIam MrSIhatemysel
feverysecondfor
whatIdidt
oher.Inev
ermeanttohurther
pl
easedon'
thurtme”hebeggedtear
sr unni
ng
downhischeeks
Dad: “
Intoengikwat isakakhuluPhakamani
ukuthi ngobauhl elikul
esit
uloangekengi khone
ngishoukukt handazel angaleziezami i
zandla
ngikuz wiseubuhl unguobuzwi seinkosazana
yami ngobauzov eleufe!”(
whatmakememor e
angryi sthatsincey ouareont hatchairIcan't
beaty ouupwi thmyhandsandmakey ouf eel
thepai ny ouputmypr i
ncesst hroughcozy ou
wil
l die!)
Phaks:
“Ngi
yaxol
i
sa”(
I'
m sor
ry)hecr
ied
Dad:“
Itsagoodt hi
ngshelef
tyouIfIeverever
seeyou1km closetoheryouwil
lj
oinyour
fat
herinhiscel
l.Gett
hefuckoutofmysi ght
youdisgustme!!”
Phaksputal
lhi
sst
rengt
htowheel
himsel
fout
wi
thi
nabl
i
nkofaney
ehewasout
.
Dad:
“You!
”Hesai
dlooki
ngatTbosewho
j
umpedabi t“
Howlonghav
eyoubeenhi
ding
t
hist
ome?”
Tbose:
“She.
.shet
oldmewhenshewasatt
he
hospi
tal
”
Dad:
“Andy
oudidn'
tseet
heneedt
otel
lme
t
hat?
”heshout
ed
Tbose:“
Im sorr
yMrSbutI twasnotmypl acet
o
tel
lyouthatinfactt
otel
lanyoneImadea
promisetoherthatIwon'
ttel
l anyoneandnow
I
m screwedf uckmybigmout h!”Hefli
nchedhis
fi
sts.
Dad:
“Getoutofmysi
ght!
”Tbosewal
kedout
whil
emom anddadwalkedcl
osetomybed.
Mom:“I
m sosorr
ymybaby”sheengul
fedme
i
ntoahugIcri
edhar
deronherchest
.Lett
ingi
t
al
lout
Dad:
“Wear
esososor
rypr
incess.Justknow
thaty
ouhav eusanymomentandany ti
me.This
painwil
lpassokay”Inoddedashesqueezed
myhand.Dadwentt ofetchwatert
ocalm me
downIdrankallofi
t
Mom :“Youwi l
lbeokaymyangel .Pleasebare
i
nmi ndt hatt
hisi
snoty ourf
ault
.Youdi dn'
tdo
anyt
hingwr ong.I
fitGod'swil
lal
lowhi mtogive
youstrengthtopul
l t
hrough.
”Shewi pedmy
tear
sandki ssedmyl i
ps“Welovey ouokay”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oof
olks”
Mom: “Sqal okuhl
ewhathappenedt otalkingto
mehuh?Weuset oshar eany thingbuty ou
decidedt oshutmeoutanddeal withyour
str
essal onewhyar ey ouhur tingmel i
ket hi
s.
Youguy smakemef eel l
ikeI'
m abadmot her.
I'
mt heonewhoshoul dknowwhati sgoi ngon
i
ny ourli
v esasy ourmot her.Issywasendur i
ng
abusef r
om Phakamani andhi dt hatfr
om me
andy ouonot hersi
dey ouar eunderal otof
str
esst ot hepointt
hati tleady out o
miscarr
iage.Ifeell
ikeastrangeri
nyourli
ves
mychildrenandt hathurtme”tear
sstreamed
downherf aceIfeltbad.Weuset oshare
ever
ythingindeed.
Me:“OhMamay ouarenotabadmot her
.You
areanincr
edibl
emom Ihav eeverseen.I
'm
sorr
ythatyoufeell
iket
hat.Weloveyouso
much.”Iwipedhertear
swiththebackofmy
palms
Mom:
“Whati
swr
ongsweet
hear
t?”
Dad:
“I
sitTbose?”
Me:
“No”
Dad:“Don'tprotecthi
m angel
tel
lusi
fheis
makingy ousl eeponawetpill
owwit
htearsI
wil
lfuckhi m up”
Me:“Thati
tri
ghtt
her
edaddy.Wecan'
tshar
e
wit
hy ouguyscozwearescar
eddadwil
l
ret
ali
ateandIwontl
iet
oy out
hatmakemesick!
Tell
medaddywhof uckyouupwhenyoubroke
Mama'sheart
?Whenyoutookhervi
rgi
nit
y,
pr
omisi
ngherthewor
ldthendeci
detomar r
y
Aunt
yLuyanda?Whofuckedyouuphuh?”
Mom:
“Hay
iSqal
okuhl
e..
..
”
Me:“NoMamaIdon' tcarei
fhewasdoi ngitto
prot
ectthefamilysecretwhatnotthepoi
ntis
hebrokeyourheartbutnoonef uckedhim up.
Recentl
yhef uckedMakhosazanai nyour
housewhof uckedhim up?”
Mom:“Sqal
okuhl
emaany ouar
eoutofl
i
ne
now!
!.
..
”Icutherof
fonceagai
n
Me: “Hay i
Mama, Dadneedt oknowt hatnoone
i
sper f
ect.Thi sthingofbeat ingpeopleupi s
wr ongi nsomanyl ev els.Dadsol v
eev eryt
hing
withv i
olenceandr ev engewhatki ndofaf at
her
i
st hat?Thatt eacheshi schildr
entouse
violenceinev erysituationt heyencount er
?Ifeel
sor ryf
orI naandMj cozt heyarealready
followinghisf ootsteps! ”
Mom:
“Sqa.
..
.”
Dad:
“Nohoneyi
tsokay
”
Youknowt hewayhewassocalm Idi
dn'
t
expectt
hatIthoughthewi
l
lbebal
last
ic.
“I'
m sorryt haty ouf eelthatwayIdi dn' trealize
thedamageIwascausi ngt hel astthingIwant
i
sy ouandy oursiblingst ogot hrough
depressi onal onej ustbecausey ouar escar ed
ofhowIwi lldeal withthesi tuation.I'
m sor ry
thatIlov ey ou,Im sor rythatIdon' twantev ena
scratchony ou,I'
m sor rythaty ouar emy
daught erandIwon' tletany onehur ty ouandget
awaywi thit.Att heendoft hedayev er yt
hing
thatI'
m doi ngI 'm doingi tformyf ami lyy our
protection,saf ety,successandhappi nessar e
mypr ioriti
esI fthewayIdot hingsisaf f
ect i
ng
youIguessIgot tachangemyway sandbet he
many ouar epr oudt ocallaf ather”t hewayhe
expressedeachanev erywor dIcoul df eel
disappoi nt
mentandsadnessi nhisv oice.Wi th
thatsaidhewal kedout .
Mom: “Ihav enev erseensuchanungr ateful
childlikey oui nmyl i
fe.Yourf atherwi llmov e
mount ainsf ory ou, usSqal okuhl e.Hei smaki ng
suret hatwef eel saf eandpr ot ect edev erytime.
Hedoesn' tjustmakeusf eel prot ectedandsaf e
onlyhedoesshi el dus.Hewi l
l goext rami lejust
forust obehappy .Hef i
ll
sourhomeandour
l
iveswi thwar mt h, peaceandj oy .Hewi lltake
hislifeorki llf
orus.Wear ehiscent erof
happi ness.Howl uckywear et ohav ehi mi nour
l
ivesSomechi ldr enoutt herear emol estedby
theownf athers, somedon' tev enknowwher e
aret heirfather s, somear esuf feringwhi letheir
fathersar edr inki ngawayt hemoneyorgi vi
ngi t
tohoes.Thel isti sendl ess.Yourf atheri sabest
fatherandabesthusbandy ouwi ll
ev erf i
ndin
thi
swor l
d.”Myhear tsankokaymay beIwas
toohar shonhi m.
Me:“
Im sorr
yIdidn'
tmeantosoundungr
atef
ul
butMaar eyousayi
ngthati
tsr
ightf
orhi
mt o
usevi
olence?”
Mom: “
NoI 'm notsay ingthatviol
encei sr i
ght .
Yourfat
herdoesn' talwaysusev iolencehehav e
hiswaytodeal withpeoplehowev eritis
i
mpor t
antf oramant omakesur et hathi s
householdisrespect edpeopl edon' tfi
nditeasy
todowhat evert heywantorwal kov erthe
headsofev eryonei nthehousehol d.Some
thi
ngswi l
ltakey out ohaveaf ami l
yofy ourown
tounderstand.OnedaywhenGodbl essy ou
withaanot herbabyy ouwi ll
knowhowi tsf eel
s
whensomeonehur tyourchil
d.Youwi l
lwi shto
kil
lhi
m orbet teryetki l
lhi
m”
Me:“
Im sorr
yMama”If
eltr
eal
l
ysadnowwear
e
i
ndeedluckytohav
eDaddy
Mom: “
Youareapologi
singtoawr ongperson
youreal
lyhurthi
sfeel
i
ngsSqal okuhleyou
madehimf eelli
kehei
sf ai
l
ingus, heisnot
goodenoughandhei suseless”
Me:
“I
'm sor
ryIdidn'
tmeantohurthi
sfeel
i
ngs
Mommy .Heisthebestdaddyev
erIspokeout
ofturnI'
m sor
ry”Isobbedshepul
l
edmet
oher
breastandhuggedme.
Mom:“Shhdon'
tcr
yyouhavet
otal
ktohim he
wi
ll
underst
and”Sheki
ssedmyhai
r.Iwi
pedmy
t
ears
Me:
“Il
ovey
ouMamaandIl
oveDaddyt
oo”
Mom: “
Wel oveyoutoosweetheartyouwil
lbe
al
ri
ght.
..Nowt el
lmewhatisbother i
ngy
ouisit
Tbose?”Isighedandpul
l
edbackt henl
ookedat
her
.
Me:
“Yes.
..
he.
..
heTbosei
sagangst
erMama”
Mom:“ThathugenotthatI
'
m sur
pri
sedt
heway
hebehavesitshows”
Me:“Idon'twantt
hiski
ndoflifeforhim.I
'm
scaredthatIwil
ll
osehim.Thatonedayt he
poli
cearegonnabest andingonmydoor step
andaskmet ocomeandi denti
fyhisbody.
Everyt
imewhenhei soutI'm al
way sscar
edi f
hewi l
levercomebacktomeal i
veitstor
tur
e
Mama”
Mom:“
Didy
out
alkt
ohi
m andt
ell
him howy
ou
f
eel
?”
Me:“
Yesandhesayi
t'
shi
scal
l
inghecan'
tqui
t
t
hisl
ife”
Mom: “
Andgangsterl
i
feisnotput
ti
nghi
mi n
dangeronl
yandyoutoo.Youknowhowt hese
peopl
eoperatet
heystri
kewherei
thur
tthe
most.Youarehi
sweakness”
Me:
“Exactl
yandwhenIt
ell
himt
hathesayhe
wi
ll
protectme”
Mom:“
Youl
ovehi
m?Howmuchdoeshemean
t
oyou?”
Me:“
IneverthoughtIwillf
allinlov
eagainaft
er
whatPhaksdidtomebutTbosechangedmy
mindset
.Ilovehim somuch.Heenchant edme,
heal
edmeandt ouchedthedept hofmyheart
andsoulamazinglythatIforgetal
lpai
n.He
mademebel ievethattr
uel ovedoesexi
st”
Mom:
“Isenseabut
?”
Me:“Butt hebondhehav ewithIssymakeme
askmy selft
hatdidImadear ightdeci
siont
o
all
owhi mi nmyl f
ie.Idon'
twannabet he
secondbestf ortherestofmyl i
feMama.
Phaksl oveIssyandhechoseher .Tbosetoo
l
ov eIssybuthei swithme.Whati fonedayhe
real
izet hathemadeami st
ake?”
Shedidn'trespondt hatwhenInoti
cedt
hatshe
zonedout .SoIl etherbeshehaveher
moment sl i
ket hiswhensheishavi
ngvisi
onsor
somethingcl oset othat
.
Mom:“
Im sor
ryaboutt
hat
”shesai
daf
tera
whi
l
e
Me:
“I
tsokay
”
Mom:“Lookthatboylov
eyouKuhlet
hel
ovehe
hav
efory ouisbeyondwor
ds,
it'
snot
measurable”
Me:
“Younotsay
ingt
hist
omakemef
eel
happy
”
shechuckl
ed
Mom: “Iwi
llnevergamblewi t
hy ourli
feli
kethat.
Youhav ebeent hroughalotalr
eadyy ou
deservehappinessdon'tall
owIssy'sfri
endship
wit
hTboset odoubthisloveforyou.Hehav ea
softspotforIssycozsheisav ersi
onofhi slat
e
mom.Notphy sicall
yofcourse”
Me:
“AhyouseeIwi
l
lnev
ercompet
ewi
tht
hat
Mama”
Mom:
“I
tsnotacompet
it
ionst
handwasami
”
Me: “
ComeonMamaTbosel ovehisMama
dearlyhealwaystal
kabouther.I
fIssyisa
versi
onofthewomant hatgav
ebirthtohim and
thathelovedearl
yI'
m notgonnabeabl eto
compet ewitht
hatIwil
l l
oseevent
uall
y.”
Mom:“Youdon'
tgetmeTbosewasconf using
thel
ovehehaveforI
ssyasr omant icl
ovecoz
thewayshebehavei
sexact l
ylikehisMama.
Youknowyourfat
herl
ovey ourgr andmaso
muchatsomepointIfel
tjealousandt houghtI
willnev
ercompetewiththatandfor
getthati
t'
s
notacompetiti
on.Sheishismom andI'm hi
s
wifewearebothimpor t
antpeopl
einhisli
fe
thathecan'
tli
vewithout.
”
Me:
“MinaMahIthi
nkthat
'sreasonabl
eenough
f
orhi
mt ol
oveIssyr
omanticall
y”
Mom: “
Hecan'tber omantical
l
yi nlovewit
hhis
mom.May bethiswi l
lmakei tclear
ertoyou.A
manwi l
ll
eavehisf at
herandmot herandbe
uni
tedtohiswife.Thetwowi llbecomeone
fl
eshhewilll
ovehiswi fel
ikehel ovehimsel
f
andthewif
emustr espectherhusband”
Me:
“MmhI
'
mthewi
feI
ssyi
sthemot
her
”
Mom:
“Pr
eci
sel
y”
Me:
“WowIf
eel
younow”
Mom:“I'
m gl
adyoudosomychi l
dy ouarehi
s
weaknessandstr
engt
h.Youaretheonlyone
whohav epowert
oinf
luencehi
sdecisi
ons.You
needtostopbei
ngacrybabynotthatImind
mycrybaby”shepi nchedmycheekIgi ggled
“butyouhavet ostandfi
rm nexttohi
m.You
needtobehisper f
ectcompanionsuppor thi
m
thr
oughouthisli
fehewi l
lmakey ouhisheaven
i
nearthandmakey ouhappyalway swit
hout
eventr
yinghard.”
Me:“
ThankyouMamai tal
wayshear
twarmi
ng
t
alki
ngtoyouandIkeeplear
ningal
ot”
Mom:
“Ihopeyouwil
lremembert
hatwheny
ou
hi
det
hingsf
rom me”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryMommyQueenpl
easef
orgi
veme”
Mom:
“Ial
readyf
orgav
eyou”
Me:“
Howar eyouf
eel
i
ngr
egar
dingGogo
Msi
bi'
spassi
ng”
Mom:”Iwi
l
lbef
inemychi
l
dthanksf
oraski
ng.
”
Tbosewal
kedi
n
Tbose:
”Ohsor
ryIt
houghty
oul
eftMa”
Mom:“
NoboyI'
m st
il
lher
eyoucanhav ehershe
i
syour
s”Igi
ggl
edasshestoodup.“
Iloveyou”
Me:“
Ilov
ey outoo”Shekissedmyf or
eheadand
swayherhipsout.Tbosesighedandwalkedt
o
me.Hetookoffhissneakersandwasl ef
twit
h
secr
etsocks
Tbose:
“CanIgeti
n”
Me:“Sur
e”Ishi
ft
edasi
dehesli
ppednextt
ome
andpressedmeagai
nsthi
schestmassagi
ng
myear l
obewit
hhisi
ndexf
ingerandt
humb.it
fel
tsogood
Tbose:
“Youknowt
hatIl
ovey
our
ight
”
Me:
“Yes”
Tbose: “
Ireall
ydol oveyousomuch.Il ovet he
wayIam whenI m withyousthandwasami you
bri
ngoutt hebestinme.Yougav emeanew
meani ngofl ove.Ihavenowor dstodescr i
be
thelovet hatIcarryinmyheartforyou.
Everydaymyl oveforyoukeepget t
ingstronger
witheachpassi ngday.Youbringpeaceinmy
soulandj oyi nmyday s.Li
feisnoteven
i
magi nabl ewithoutyoumyl oveyourpresence
i
gnitethefirei
nmysoul andpassioninmy
body.Icangoal ldaybutnowor dwi l
lmeasur e
howmuchdoy oumeant omeandhowmuch
doIlovey ou.Ngiyakt
handaMajobewi t
hthe
depthofmyhear tandsoul ”Bythet i
mehe
fi
nshedIwasi ntearsthoseweret hebeauti
ful
wordsev er.Whatmadet hem morebeaut i
fulis
thathemeantt hem.
Me:“WowbabyIl oveyouthosewer ebeautiful
wordsever.Iwi l
lbeal
way sgratef
ul t
hatyou
walkedinmyl if
eandmademebel ievethattrue
l
ov eisareali
tynotafantasyI'
m headov erthe
heelsinl
ovewi thyouKhuzway o”Hewi pedmy
tearsandplasteredhi
sli
psonmi ne.Weki ssed
connecti
ngwi theachotherssoulandhear t.
Tbose:“
Iknowhowy ouf eelaboutmyli
festyl
e
andItsnotthatIdon'tcare.Thethi
ngisthese
busi
nessesar etheonlythingthatmakeme
connectwit
hmypar ents”Hewentont oldme
whathappenedIl i
stenedat t
enti
vel
ytears
makingthei
rwaydownmyf ace
Me: ”YhobabyI '
m sor rythatmusthav ebeena
traumat icpai nf
ul thi
ngev er.NowIunderstand
whyy ouar eintot hisbutIdon'tthi
nkuMano
Babawi llhaveapr oblem i
fy ouchangethese
businessesi ntolegalbusinesses.Im sur
ethey
wi l
lbepr oudofy oubabyi t'
snotl i
keyou
throwi ngev eryt
hingawaybuty ouaremaking
ev er
y t
hingl egit
.”
Tbose:
“Youhav
eapoi
ntnana”
Me:“YespapaI '
m sureev eny ourbrother
swon't
haveapr oblem.Il
li
citbusinessesmakeal otof
moneyy oucoul dbuyawor l
dwiththatmoney .
Youandy ourbr
otherswi llownchai nof
businessesandy ouwon' thav etolookatyour
backev ery t
ime.I'
m surey oudontwantour
chi
ldrent obeexposedt ot hatli
fe.
”
Tbose:
“Iheary
ounanaI'
m gonnaconsidert
hat
andtal
ktomybr ot
her
sandmyuncl e”Thatwas
soeasyThankstomommyQueen.
Me:
“Il
ovey
oupapa”
Tbose:
“Il
ovey
oumor
enana”
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
“
MommyI
mti
rednow”
“
Met
oo”
pantedLami andLi
ndsay,Muzomuhl
e'
s
daughter
.Sheisanadorabl
eki
d.Wetookt
hem
toplaydi
ffer
entgames.
Me:
“Weshal
lgot
hen”
Lami
:
“Ki
tKatcanwehav
eicecr
eam?
”
Li
ndsay
:“Yeespl
ease”
Me:“
It
swint
erLami
andnotsol
ongagoy
ou
hadf
ever
”
Lami:
“Mommypl ease”hepressedhi
stiny
pal
mst oget
herpouti
nghisl
ips.Thi
sboyhav ea
waywi t
hmyhearthei sj
usttoocutetoref
use
anyt
hinghewant
Me:
“Okay
”
Lami
:
“Yes!
”hef
ist
edt
heai
rwi
thhi
sti
nyf
ist
.
Muz
i:
“Wel
lthenl
et'
sleav
eki
ds”
Lindsay
:“Carr
yusDaddy ”Hepickedthem up
thenwel ef
t.Muziboughticecream f
oral
l ofus
thenwedr ovebackwhileeati
ngouricecream
Muzi
:“Misski
ckbal
l
scanIt
akey
ououtt
o
di
nnertoni
ght
”
Me:“
Idi
dn'
tbri
ngf
ancycl
othesMrsexual
har
assment
”
Muzi:
“Youcancomenaked”hel i
ckedhi
sli
ps.I
l
aughedhehaveal ongt
oungenowonderit
doeswondersi
thitther
ightspot
Me:
“I
fyousaysot
henwhatt
ime?
”
Muz
i:
“Iwi
l
lpi
cky
ouupathal
fsev
en”
Me:
“Okay
”
Thedr
ivewasfi
l
ledli
ghtconver
sati
onand
l
aught
er.Iwasr
eal
lyenj
oyingspendi
ngti
me
wit
htheguyhebr
ingsenseofpeacei
nmy
hear
t.
“
Thanky
ouwehadagr
eatt
ime”
Muzi:
“Wehadagreatt
imetoo”Hei
nched
cl
oserandki
ssedmycheek.
Me:
“Lami
let
'sgoboy
”
Lami:
“ByeLi ndz”Hekissedhercheekmaki ng
hert
ogi gglesoftl
yhehet hisgirl
shehitmyson
whenheki ssedhimt hefirstti
meact i
nglike
shedoesn'twantt ol
ooknowshei sgiggl
ing
andturningred.Muzi andIl aughed“Sureuncl
e
Muzi”
Muz i
:“
Sureboy”Theybumpedf i
stt
henthey
watchedusmaket heirwayi
n.Wewer e
welcomedbyamout hwater
ingsmell
inthe
ki
tchen.IwenttopeekthepotsmmhSpi r
ocan
cookIdidn'
tknow.
Lami:
“ThankyouMamatodayIhadagreatday
wit
hLindzsheisacool
chi
ck”Haibol
engane!
(
thi
schi
l
d!)
Me:
“Chi
ck?wher
edi
dyougett
hatwor
d”
Lami
:
“LumeMj
”
Me:“ComeI 'mt i
redIwanttor estmylegsonthe
sof
a”Wewentt ot hel
ivi
ngroom andsatdown
onthesof a.Asusual hefor
cedmer estmyfeet
onhisthighs“ Yousaidwhot aughtyouthe
wordchick? ”Isaidtur
ningt
heTVon.
Lami:“
LumeMjMama.Het ookmetohi
s
beauti
ful
chi
ckandsheboughtmeanice
cream”HeeMjiscor
rupt
ingmyson.
Me:
“Youl
i
keLi
ndsay
?”
Lami:“
YesIaskedhert
obemychickandshe
agreedMama”Mj !Mj
!Mj!“
Don'
tyoul
ikeher
Kit
Kat?”
Me:
“Il
i
kehershei
ssocut
e”
Lami:
“NoMasheisbeauti
ful
.LumeMj saycut
e
i
snotarightwor
dtousewheny ouwantagirl
tol
oveyou”Smakadesezul
u!NoI'
m call
i
ngMj
r
ightaway
!
Me:“Isee”Igotupandt ookmyphonef rom t
he
chargerthenwenttositdown.Iswitchediton
messagesf l
oodsin.Theywer ei
nfor
mi ngme
aboutthemi ssedcal
l
sf rom Mama,Tbose,PK
andDaddy .
“Heyboo”IlookedupthatwasYol
andai
n
Spir
o'sshi
rt,herweav
ewasmessyandher
facewasmoi st.
Me:
“Yol
anda!
”
Yol
anda:
“Don'
tscr
eam I
'
m her
e”
Me:
“Yeyy
ouar
efastmt
akagogo”
Yol
anda:
“Gotnot
imet owast
ebaby
”she
twi
rkedabi
twelaughed.
Me:“Ishoul
dhav
eknownt
hati
tsnotSpi
rot
hat
cooked”
Yol
anda:
“HeyLami
”Heki
ssedhi
sli
ps
Me:
“HayhayYol
andadon'
tki
ssmysonwi
th
yourl
ipsthatwassucki
ngSpi
ro'
sdick!”Iwi
ped
Lami'
slipswit
hmyt humbmakingYolandato
cackl
e.
Yolanda:
“Youwantmetoki
ssy
ou”shenear
ed
herli
pstowardsmine
Me:“
Aymaansi
esYolandayouaresmel
li
ngsex
goandwashy
oursel
f”sheshr
iekedwi
th
l
aughter
.
Yol
anda:
“Youar
eact
ingl
i
keav
irgi
nnow”
Lami
:
“Ki
tKatwhati
ssex?
”Oops
Yol
anda“
That
smycue”shesai
dlaughi
ng
andrunni
ngaway
.Thi
sisherf
aul
thowwi
l
lI
repl
ytothat
.
Me:“Uhm i
tsal
oti
onf
orr
ash”whatwasI
supposetosay
?
Lami
:
“ButGogoYol
andadoesn'
thav
erashMa”
Me:
“Shedoesbabyonherbody”Thankstodad
f
orvi
deocall
i
ngmeLami istoosmartforhi
s
ageandItdoesn'
thel
pthatmostofhi
sti
mehe
spendi
twithMj.
“
Daddy
”
Dad:
“Li
tt
leangel
”
Lami
:
“Ist
hatKhul
u?”
Me:
“Yes”
Lami:
“CanIpl easesayhiKit
Kat”Igavehimthe
phone.Theyt al
kedhetoldhisgranpaabout“
his
newchi ck”hambaLami .Dadwascackl i
ngon
theotherside.Aft
erawhilehegav emethe
phone.
Dad:
“Mygr
andsonissmi
tt
enaboutt
his
Li
ndsay
”Welaughed
Me:“
I'
mtooyoungt
obeagr
andmabaki
thi
”We
l
aughedagai
n
Dad:
“Howar
eyoumydaught
er”
Me:
“I
m gooddadhowar
eyou?
”
Dad:
“I
mf.
.f
ine”hebur
ped
Me:
“Ar
eyoudr
unkdaddy
?”
Dad:
“Nop”
Me:“
Youki ndaslur
ri
ngandyourey
esar
ered.I
s
ever
ythingisokay?Arey
ouandMaokay?How
i
sKuhl e”
Dad:“
Ev erythi
ngisokayli
ttl
eangelwhydi dn'
t
youtellmePhakamani wasphy si
cal
lyand
emotionallyabusi
ngy ou”Igaspedhowt hehell
didhef oundout“Tboset ol
dus”Fuckthat
asshole!
Me:“Daddypl
easedon'
thur
tPhakamaniI
'
m
beggingyouheisgoi
ngthr
ougharought
ime.
PleaseMondise”
Dad: “Icoul
dn'
tdoanymor edamageheis
alreadydamagedy oumadeagoodchoi ceby
l
eav inghim butI
m sosadt hatyoudidn'
ttel
lme
Issywhati fhekil
ledyou?Howcany ougo
throughahor ri
bleexperi
encealonewhil
ewe
arest il
lher
easy ourfamil
y”hesoundedsosad
Me:“I
m sorr
ydaddyIwasscaredthatyouwil
l
hur
thim andIdi
dn'twanty
ouguy stohatehi
m
cozIsti
ll
lovehi
m andheisthefatherofmy
chi
ldr
en”
Dad:“Im sorr
ymyl i
ttl
eangelIfai
l
edyouI
promiset hatIwi
llchangemyway sandbethe
fatherthatyoudeserve.Thaty
ouwill
feel
free
totalktowhenev eryouwant”
Me:“
Daddyi
t'
snotyourfaul
tdon'tbl
ame
your
sel
fyouaret
hef at
herthatIdeser
ve”
Dad:“NoI'
m notangely
ousupposet of eelf
ree
aroundmebuty ouarescar
edy ouratherendure
painthat
snottheli
feIwantforyou.Iwanty ou
tobehappyalwaysandknowt hatIgoty ou”
Me: “
Daddynopar entwillwanthisorherchil
d
tobeabusedanddonot hingaboutit.Not
unlessi
fhe/shedoesn' tlovethatchil
dsodont
feelbadforl
ovingy ourchildr
en.I'
m happy
daddyandI '
m proudt ohav eafatherli
keyoui
n
actualf
actIm blessed.Youar ethebestdaddy
i
nthewholewor
ld.It
sbeenmonthssincewe
havebeent
oget
herbutIfeel
li
keIhaveknown
yousi
nceIwasborn.Il
oveyoudaddy
”
Hesmi
l
edwi
del
y
Dad:
“Il
oveyoutoobabyt
hosewordst
ouchmy
hear
tbeaut
if
ull
yIreal
l
yneededt
ohearthat
”
Me:
“Soy
oudi
dn'
thur
tPK?
”
Dad:
“NahbutIdon'
twanthi
m neary
oubaby
”
Me:
“Thatsimpossi
bledaddyhei
sthef
atherof
mychil
dren”
Dad:
“YouknowwhatImeansweet y .Youl
ove
hi
m Iknowbuthei snotgoodfory
ou.He
di
sappointedmeonceagai n”Hesighedheav
il
y
hewasdi sappoi
ntedsowasI .
Me:
“Iheary
oudaddy
”
Dad:
“Yougoodot
her
wise?
”
Me:
“Yeahy
ou”
Dad:
“Tal
ki
ngt
oyouj
ustmademef
eel
goodI
mi
ssy
ou”
Me:
“Imi
ssy
out
oo”
Weconti
nuedandtalki
ngandlaughing.
Ngi
yazt
handel
aikhehlal
amibakit
hi.(Il
ovemy
ol
dman)Aftert
hatIcall
edTbose
Tbose:
“I
m sor
ry”
Me:
“Reall
ybra!r
eal
ly
!usuqal
eni
nimanj
ekuba
umfazi
huh!!
”(si
ncewhenhavey
oubecomea
womanhuh!!
)
Tbose:
“I
tssl
i
ppedoutI'
m sor
ryKatIdidn'
t
meantobutatl
easty
ourfat
herdi
dn'thurtPK”
Me:“Fuckof
fmaanTbosei t'
snotaboutt
hatIts
aboutyoubreaki
ngmyt r
ustforyou!Iwi
llnever
tr
ustyouagain.I
m evenscaredwhatel
sewi l
l
sl
ippedoutoneofthesedays!!
”
Tbose:
“I
m sor
ryIwi
l
lnev
erev
er.
..”
Me:“Nx!”Ihungupbeforehefinishedcozhe
wasirrit
ati
ngmet othecore.Thisisthereason
Idon'tsharemyshit
!Iwasboi l
ingwithanger.
.
“
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmyl
ove”
Me:“
Thanksyoul
ookgor
geous”Heopenedt
he
doorforme
Muzi:“
Thanky
ou”Igotinthenheclosedthe
door.Wegottotherest
aurantwhi
chwasempty
wit
hat abl
eoftwo,candl
elight
sandroses
Me:
“Wowsoy
oubookedt
hewhol
erest
aur
ant
?”
Muz i:
“I
'mt heowneract uall
y”Hepull
edt he
chairforme.Isatdownt henhepushedi tin
beforesitti
ngdown.Hesnappedhi sfinger
sa
waitercameandgr eet
edust hendi
shedupf or
us.Weat eov eraconversati
ongett
ingtoknow
eachot her.“Sotel
lMissSi t
holewhatbringyou
here?”
Me:“Want
edsomemet
imebuther
eIam wi
th
you”Hechuckl
ed
Muz
i:
“Tel
lmeabouty
our
sel
f”
Me:
“Wel
lther
e'snot
hingf
asci
nat
ingI
'
m
Nkosisthandi
leSit
holeI'
m at winsister
.Ihav e3
si
stersandt wobrothersincludi
ngmyt wi n
brother.Il
i
veinPretori
awi thmypar ents.Ihave
asonThembal amiandadaught erontheway
asy oucansee”Igiggledsof tl
y“Im amusi c
studentatwitsit
smy3r dyear.Iownacl ub
uhm y eah”
Muz i:
“I
nterest
ingwell
I'm MuzomuhleXabaI'
m
theonlysonandonl ychil
d.Iownachainoffew
businesses.IusetostayinJoziImovedthi
s
sideaftermyf at
herdi
ed.Icouldn'
tl
etmom liv
e
alonesoy eah.IhaveadaughterLi
ndsay”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryabouty
ourf
ather
”
Muz i
:
“Lif
ehey
..
.canIaskar
atherper
sonal
questi
on?”
Me:
“Ok-
ay”
Muz i
:
“Areyoust
il
ltoget
herwi
tht
hef
atherof
yourkids?
”
Me:
“Noar
eyout
oget
herwi
tht
hemot
herof
Li
ndsay
?”
Muz
i:
“Sheal
sodi
ed”
Me:
“OhI
'
m sor
ry”
Muz i
:“
Thanks..
.It
sbeent
woyearsnow.She
diedwhenLindsaywasababybutnowI'
m
readytomov eon”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
”
Muzi
:“
Thankyou.
..
WhataboutyouImeanar
e
youl
ookingf
orsomeoneoryoudohave
someone”
Me:“
Im notact
uall
yI'
m comingfr
om ahecti
c
r
elat
ionshi
pIjustwanttobr
eatheyouknow.”
Muz
i:
“Doy
out
hinky
oucanchange?”
Me:
“Idon'
tthi
nkso”
Muz
i:
“Ouch”
Me:
“I
m sor
rybutwecanbef
ri
endsy
ouknow”
Muzi
:“
Fri
endsnehl
et'
stoastt
ofr
iends”he
f
akedasmile
Us:“Tofri
ends”wecli
ckedourgl
ass.Therestof
thedinnerwentwel
l.Wedanceabitthenhe
drovemehomehewasn' thi
mselft
houghand
thatbotheredme.
Me:
“Ar
eyouokay
”
Muzi:
“ThemomentwemetIf eltsomethi
ngI
haveneverf
eltbef
ore.Youfel
tittooThandi
le
wehav esomethi
ngthatcanturnbeauti
fuli
f
yougivemeachancepl ease”
Me:
“I
'm sor
ryMuzi
”
Hesi ghedcoi
nci
dental
lyFri
endZonebyNateft
Zolastart
edplay
ingonr adi
oandhesangalong
Il
istenedtohi
m singi
ng.Hehaveabeauti
ful
voice
♪ ♪ ♪ Al
lthel
ovet
hatIgav
etoy
ou
Kudal
andi
fonwakwaphendul
i
Remembert
hedayt
hatImety
ou
I
tsamemor
ylanewhenIt
hinkofy
ou
I
'
m onmyownnow
Thandool
ungaka
Howcoul
dyouputmei
nfr
iendzone
Iwasgonnabuyy
ouabenzo
.
St
art
edwi
thcal
l
sandcoupl
eofcal
l
s
Endedupf
all
i
ngandsl
eepi
ngbr
o
Text
ingaty
ouIdon'
twast
eti
me
Nextt
imewecal
l
ingonf
acet
ime
Want
edt
otakey
out
osout
hcoast
Justt
oshowy
ouhowwel
i
vet
her
e
Theki
ngoft
hecoastwannar
oll
wit
hyou
Babyuzoy
ithol
ayonkei
ntooy
idi
ngay
o
Gi
veyout
heDwhi
l
esmoki
ngt
he
Marl
ey♪♪♪
Hesangunt
ilt
hesongwasoverIf
eltbad.We
ar
ri
vedhehel
pedmeoutofthecar
.
Muz i
:“Ihadal ovelyni
ghteverthankyou”He
brushedmyl i
pswi thhisbefor
edrivi
nghis
toungei nt
omymout hkissi
ngme.Imoaned
softl
yashegr abbedmyass.“ Goodnigt”Hegot
i
nhi scarandl eftandguesswhatthatwast he
l
asttimeIsawhi m.Hi sphonesentmest rai
ght
tovoicemai l
ther estofthetwoweekswas
melancholy.Lami wasdrivi
ngmecr azywanting
toseehi schick
DAYBEFORETHEWEDDI
NG
WeuseGr
anpaCalv
in'
sjet
.Icoul
dn'
thel
pbut
cr
ywhenwelef
t.
Yol
anda:
“I
m sor
ryboo”
Me:
”Forwhat
?”
Yolanda:
”ComeonIcanseet haty
oumissMr
sexualharassmentt
hatguyhadanef
fecton
youmor ethenyounoti
ce”
Me:“
HaisukaIhar
dlyknowhi
minf
actIdon'
t
gi
veafuckabouthim”
Yol
anda:
“Sowhyar
eyoucr
ying?
”
Me:
“Hormones”Shel
aughedandembracedme.
WelandedandDaddyandKhul
ufet
chedus.
Daddy :
“Li
tt
leangel!
”Thesmi leonhi sfacewas
pri
celessy oucanseet hatIwasmi ssed.Ir
an
tohim“ Ungawibo!”(Don'tf
all
!)Igiggledand
thr
ewmy selfi
nhisarmshecat chedme.I
i
nhaledhisscent
Me:
”Daddy
!”
Dad:
“I
m sohappyy
ouar
eback”
Me:“
Im happyt
oseeyou”Hepull
edmebackI
hol
dontohimforabi
tlongert
henpul
lback
Dad:
“Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul”
Me:“Thanky oudaddyyouarest i
llasexydaddy
ever”Iwinkedathim hel
aughed.“ Khul
u”He
hadLami i
nhisarmsIhuggedt hem both.
Greeti
ngwer esharedandhugs.Af tert
hatwe
drovehome.I twasbuzzi
ngev eryonewast her
e.
Thandor antomeal mosttr
ipping
Dad:
“Dontj
umpedi
ntoher
”Thandol
aughed
Thando:
“Iwon'
tdaddy
”DadwhohadLami
in
hi
sarmsandot her
swentov
ert
oother
s
Me:
“Sl
ayBabe!
!”
Thando:
“Sl
ayQueen!
!”Wesqueezedeachot
her
Mj:
“Wuuuumsindowenui
shur
ti
ngour
ear
drums”(
yournoi
se)
Thando:
“Jeal
ousymakey
ounast
y”
“
Wherei
sshe”Thatwasmom whenshesaw
meandshesmil
edwidel
ythenhal
frant
ome
Mom:
“Mybaby
”
Me:
“Mama”WehuggeddamnImi
ssedher
.She
smel
ll
ovel
yasal
ways.
Mom:
“Youl
ookamazi
ng”
Thando:
“Whatdi
dyoubr
oughtf
orus?
”
Me:“I
tsinmybagsletmegr
eetot
her
swewi
l
l
openthepr
ezzi
eslater
”
“Howdarey ouhugallpeoplef
ir
stbef
oreyour
twi
nbr ot
herayI'
m div
orcingyouwenayouare
nolongermyt wi
nsister
”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryTwi
nni
ecomeher
e”
Ina:
“Ha.
a”It
ickl
edhi
sribshelaughed.Inst
ead
ofhuggi
ngmehescoopedmeupbr idalst
yle
thenspi
nwithme.Igi
ggledheincreasedhis
speedIscr
eamed
Mom:
“HaymaanI
namandl
ayouwi
l
lhur
ther
!!
”
Heputmedownandwel
aughed
“
Aysukafusegani
!”Si
hlecamet
ousokayshe
l
ookedverycoldf
orsomeonewhohav en'
tseen
mefor3weeksandhav ebeenmissi
ngme
Si
hle:
“I
na”shewhi
sper
edt
ear
srol
l
ingherey
es
Mom:
“Whati
sit
”
Si
hle:
“KonkeandSbongaar
emi
ssi
ng”
“
Whaaat
!!
”weal
lscr
eamed
[
06/
02,
19:
08]W:
93
KUHLEKONKE
•
TWOWEEKSEALI
ER
Iwassi
tt
ingnextt
ohishospi
tal
bedli
steni
ngto
themel
anchol
icbeepi
ngsoundoft
hehospital
machi
ne.
Iwaswonder
inghowdidwegethere.Weuse
tobesocl
oseli
ketoungeandsal
i
va.
Mom woul dbesadtoseewhatwehave
become.Regardl
essofwhathedidt
omeIstil
l
l
ov ehim.Heismybrot
herandtheonl
ythi
ng
thatconnectmetoMamaandDad.Mv el
oisa
spli
tt
ingimageofMama.
“
Wecangonowbaby
”
Thatwasmyfi
ancéIwaswai ti
ngforhim ashe
wascomingf
rom thedunny.Hehelpedmeup
andwipedmytear
swithhisthumbs
I
na:
“Hewi
l
lbeal
ri
ghtdon'
tcr
ymyl
oveokay
”
Hekissedmyey esthentookmyhandsi ntohi
s.
Wemadeourwayout .Heopenedt hedoorfor
meIgoi nhebuckl
edt heseatbeltt
henwentto
hi
ssi
de.Hegoti nandstartedtheengi
ne.
Me:
“Howi
sKuhl
e?”
Ina:
“Shei
staki
ngitbet
tert
hanIexpected
havi
ngTboseinherli
fehavechangedher
somehow”
Me:“
Icanneveri
maginehowitfeel
sli
ket
olose
achi
ld.I
tshear
tbreaki
ngI
'm sur
e.”
I
na:
“Youpackedev
ery
thi
ng?
”
Me:“
YeahbutIwasthinki
ngwhynottakeour
munchki
nswithus.Theydeser
vesomef r
esh
ai
raft
erwhattheywentthr
ough”
I
na:
“Thatact
ual
l
yagoodi
deababy
”
Me:“Letmecallt
hei
rnannytopackandprepar
e
them”Itookmyphoneandi nf
ormedthei
r
nannyaftert
hatIdr
oppedthecall
.
I
na:
“Ar
eyounothungr
ymybaby
”
Me:
“NoI
'
m st
il
lful
lmyl
ove”
I
na:
“Wel
lmi
naI
'
m hungr
y”
Me:
“Whatdoy
ouwannaeat
”
I
na:
“You”Hereachedformythi
ghandcar
essed
i
tsendi
ngti
ngleexci
tementi
nmybody
“Iwannahav ey ourightnow”Hel i
ckedhisli
ps
ashesl i
ppedhishandbet weenmyt hi
ghsI
moanedsof tl
ywhenhi scoldhandtouchedmy
baldpussy.I'
m notanundi esfansespecial
ly
whenI '
m pregnanttheymakemef eel
uncomf or
table“Damnbabyy ouaresowet ”he
groanedashesepar at
edmyf ol
dsreachi
ngf or
myt hr
obbingclit.
Me:“Aaahh”amoanescapedIf
eltt
heheat
consumemybody
I
na:
“FuckIcan'
twai
tanyl
onger
”
Hedr
ovetoapriv
ateplacet
henscoopedmeup
t
othebackseat
.Hekissedmepassionat
ely
kneadingmybr easthi
slipsescapedmyl ips
andtraveledt omyneck, sucki
ngandni ppingon
i
twhi l
er ubbingmycl i
tor
iswithhi sfinger
.He
unbuckledhi sj eanandpulleditdownwi t
hhi s
bri
efhismanhoodspr angoutpul sing.He
separatedmyt hi
ghsandr ubbedt het i
ponmy
cl
itohitf eltsogood.“ Ar
ey our eady”hisey es
werefixedonmi neInoddedv i
gor ouslyt
he
waitwast ortureIneededhimi nsideofme
urgentl
y
“
Ican'
theary
ou”
Me:
“Yesbaby
”
Hemadehi
sent
rancewhi
chwaski
ndaa
st
ruggl
e
Ina:
“Iv
ulebabyivule”Istretchedmyl egsapart
heent er
edmesl owly“ Ahhhy ouaresowar m
andt i
ght”Hefi
l
ledmef ul
lyIcouldfeelhim
growinginsi
deofmet hatdr ovemei nsane.He
fuckedmesensel esslyIwasscr eami nghis
namenonst op
Me:
“Ohhhh.
..
.Ahhh.
..
.I
na.
..
.Ohy
eeeI
naaaa”
Ina:
“Ohhfuck!!
!”Hegr owledli
keanani malwe
reachourorgasm.“ Damnwenzi way i
niukuthi
ubemnandi kangaka”Hepant ed, wipinghis
sweatonhi sforehead.Igiggl
ed“ Icouldfuck
youev er
ydayinev er
ysecond”Hewi thdrawhis
cockandkissedmynunt henkissedmyl i
ps“I
l
ov eyou”
Me:
“Il
ovey
oumor
e”
Af t
ert hatsessionwedr ov ehome.Theki ds
werer eadyandt heirbagst oo.MybabyandI
tookashowert ogetherwehadanot hersteamy
sessioni nthere.Wenev ergetenoughofeach
other.Anhourl aterwehi tther oad.Thedr i
ve
wasf il
ledwi t
hwar m conv ersationandl aughter
.
Wear rivedatDur banaround8atni ght.We
werer eall
ytiredwhenwear ri
vedi nmydad' s
housewer etiredt obed.
Thef ol
l
owingmorni
ngtheusual
morni
ng
processtookpl
acet
henweleftf
ort
he
graveyard.“Hel
loMamaandDaddyuhm i t'
s
KonkeI '
m withmyf i
ancéandourki ds.Today
wedeci dedtovisi
tyouguy s.I
'm sorr
yIhave
beenscar cethi
ngshav ebeenhect i
cbutI
beli
evey ouknowt hough.Imissy ouguysli
fei
s
notthesamewi t
houty ou.”Wespendhal fan
hourtalkingt
othem thenwel eft
Ina:
“YouweresobraveIm proudofyou”He
squeezedmyhand.Forthefirstt
imeIdidn'
tcr
y
whenIwast her
e.Ithi
nkthatwast hesi
gnthat
I'
m heal
ing.
Me:
“Thankyou”Hestoleaki
ssonmyli
psthen
f
ocusontheroad.“
Kidswher
earewegoi
ngto
f
orbreakf
ast?”
“
Wimpy
!”Theyscr
eamed
I
na: “
Wimpyi ti
sthen”Wegott owimpyandat e
breakfast.Youknowthatfeel
i
ngl i
kesomeone
i
sl ookingatyousoIlookeduphecov eredhi
s
facewi thanewspaper.“
Baby!”Isnappedoutof
i
t
Me:
“Mmh”
I
na:
“Ar
eyouokay
?”
Me:
“Yes”
I
na:
“Ha.
ababy
”
Me:“
It
snothi
ngbabyreal
l
y.If
eltsomeone'
s
ey
esonmewhenIl ookeduphecov er
ed
hi
mselfwi
thanewspaper”
I
na:
“Who”Wel
ookeduphewasnowher
etobe
f
ound
Me:“
Hewassitt
ingri
ghtt
her
eIdon'
tknow
wherehedi
sappear
edto”
I
na:“Youar
esaf
ewi
thmeokay
”Heki
ssedmy
hand.
Afterbr
eakfastwet ooktheki
dst ofunworld
thentoshakamar i
newor l
d.Thedaywaswel l
spentIenjoyedspendingti
mewi thmyf amil
y.
Timeslikethisareveryi
mportantjustt
oremind
yoursel
fhowl uckyyouaretohavet hepeopl
e
youhavei nyourli
feandspendingt i
mewith
ti
me,cher
ishingever
ymoment.Westayedf
or3
daysi
nDur banthendrov
ebackonday4.
“Im sorrysi sforev erythingIhav edonet oy ouI
nev ermeantt ohur ty ou.Idon' tknowwhatgot
i
nt ome.If eelsadt hatweuset obecl oseand
I'
mt heonesabot agedourr elati
onship.Iwoul d
under standi fyoudon' tforgivemebutknow
thatt hi
si scomi ngf rom t hedeepofmyhear t.”
tearswer estreami ngdownhi scheeks.We
wer eatt hehospi tal.“Inamf ethuyouar emybr o
from anot hermot herI m sor r
ybr aforev ery
thing.
Iwantt odot hingsr ightt histimeallIneedi st o
givemeasecondchanceIpr omisey ouwon' t
regretit”Inawi pedmyt ear sandbr ushedmy
backIhav ebeenwai tingf orthisdayev ersince
Ifoundoutt hathewasi nv olvedinLuci a'stri
cks.
Ina:
“Nost r
essbraIm nothol
dinganything
againstyouwearebadesf orli
fe.Iwi
llgiveyou
asecondchancei fyoupromiset opi
cky our
self
up.Got orehabatl
eastdoitforCassi
eman.As
muchasshehav eusy ouarehisbiol
ogical
f
ather
”
Mvelo:
“Thanky
ousomuchman”t
heybumped
f
ist
Me:
“If
orgi
vey
ouMv
elo”
Mv el
o:“
Youjustmademyy earIwillmakeyou
proud”Weshar edahugthencontinuedt
alking.
I
twasagr eedthathewil
lgoafterthewedding.
Myhear twasatpeacenowev eryt
hingwas
goinginorder
.
DAYBEFORETHEWEDDI
NG
Thispastt
woweekshav ebeenbusywedding
prepar
ati
onsweredri
vingmei nsanebutSi
hle,
DaddyandAuntyZozogotev eryt
hingi
ncontrol
.
IwasanxiousasexpectedbutInawasworse
“Dontleav
emeatt healt
erpl
easeKuhlekonke”
Onet hi
ngyoushouldknowthatwhenhecall
mebymyf ul
lnamehei smad,ser
ious,angr
yor
scared
Me:
“Rel
axmybabydar
korbl
ueI
'
m mar
ryi
ng
y
out
omor
row”Icoul
dfeel
him smi
l
ing
Ina:
“Ican'
twai
ttoseey
ourbeaut
if
ulsel
f”I
smiled
Me:“
Ican'
twai
ttooff
ici
all
ybeMr
s
Nkosi
namandl
aSit
hol
e”
I
na:“
Thankyoubabyf oragreeingtobemi ne.I
pr
omiseIwil
ltreaty
ouwel l
, spoil
your ot
tenyou
won'
tregr
etit
.Youwi l
lbethewor l
d'
smost
l
ovedandspoil
edwi f
e”Igiggledsof t
ly
Me:
“Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evehowdi
dIgetsol
ucky
”
I
na:
“I
mt hel
uckyonet
handaMaZwanev
ha”(
I
l
oveyou)
Me:
“Ut
handway
imi
Mondi
se”(
Ilov
eyout
oo)
I
na:
“Mcwamcwa”Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
“Mcwamcwa”
Thewassil
encebeaut
ifulsweetsi
lencej
ust
l
ist
eni
ngtoeachother
'sbreathi
ng.Wehave
beent
hroughalott
ogetherbuthereweare.
I
na:
“Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
”
Me:
“Youdidn'
ttel
lmewher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme
t
oforourhoneymoon”
I
na:
“I
t'
sasur
pri
seandI
'
m nott
aki
ngy
oubutus”
Me:
“us?
”
Ina:
“Yeswearegoi
ngwi
thourki
dsbabywe
can'
tleav
ethem f
or3mont
hs”
Me:
“Wear egoi
ngfor3mont hs!”Isqueal
ed
wi
thexci
tementandthefactthatwear etaki
ng
t
hekidswithuswasncaaa.
I
na:
“Yesbaby
”hegi
ggl
ed
Me:
“Youar
easweetdar
li
ngy
az”
I
na:
“Iknow”Igi
ggl
ed“
Byemyl
ove”
Me:
“By
e”Ihungupandlookedatmyscreen
wi
thasmil
eonmyf ace.Il
ovehi
m shame.
“Moyimoyingomfanaomncanekangaka”Okay
thatwasgrandma.Mom'smothershewasn'
t
approveoftheweddi
ng.
Aunt
yZozo:
“Mapl
easewoul
dyoust
opi
t”
Gogo:“
Aysukaamanyalal
awaukhwelwa
umfanaomncanekangakasi
esbayephi
ont
anga”shesai
dwithgri
maceonherface.My
bl
oodboil
edwhatthefuckwi
ththi
soldwoman
“Minanj eIf eelsorr
yfortheboyImeanweal l
knowhowmanymenhadt apthat
.
Usey akhalelaay i
sekhoinkomophel al
akuwe
bayiqeli
lekuni niushi
nthsaamadoda”t hatwas
Gogo' ssisterOucht hathithome.Tearstri
ckl
ed
i
nmyey es
Aunt
yZozo:
“Don'
tmi
ndlezal
ukazi
sthandwa
sami
”shewipedmyt
ear
s.
Me:“Ineedfreshai
rthi
shousei
ssuff
ocat
ing”I
wenttot akemycarkeysi
nmybedroom.I
foundSbongaawakewhi l
etheot
hertwowere
sti
llsl
eeping
Sbonga:
“I
tsthedayoftheweddi
ngMama?”I
chuckl
ed.Heishappyaboutt
heweddi
ng.
Me:“
Noboyi t
sst
il
lthesameday
..
.I'
mtaki
nga
dr
ivedon'
tyouwantcomewit
hme”
Sbonga:“
Sure”Hejumpedoutofbed.Ihel dhi
s
handandwentout .ThehousewasbuzzingI
neededsomespacet obreath.Ibuckl
ed
Sbongathendroveaimlessl
y“Mamawheni s
Lami comingbackhewillmissthewedding”
Me:“Todaymyl
ove.
..
.ai
n'
tyouhungr
y?”Idon'
t
knowwhyIwasaskingt
hatSbongai
sforever
hungry
Sbonga:“Im star
ving”Wepull
edofftoaclose
chesany ama.Asusual Ihadtoenter
tainthe
fansfi
rsttakingselfi
esbefor
eIorderedbeef,
wors,hotwi ngsandpap.Wesatdownandwai t
forourfood.
“
Mommy
”
Me:
“Yesboy
”
Sbonga:“
Ihear
dgreatgr
andmasay i
ngthat
daddyisnotmydaddyisthatt
rue”myheart
ski
ppedabi
t
Me:“I
tsnott
ruesweet
hear
tmay
bey
oudi
dn'
t
hearhercor
rect
ly”
Sbonga:“
Okay”Mxm Gr anmahowcanshesay
that
..
Ourfoodanddr i
nkscameIl ickedmyl i
ps.
Weat eoverali
ghtconv er
sati
on.Ifeltli
ght
headedandmysi ghtwasbl ur
ry“Arey ouokay
Maa? ”
Me:“Yesweshoul
dgonow”West
oodupIf
elt
di
zzythenl
i
ghtwereout
.
Iwaswokenupbyamov ingdampwar m cl
oth
onmyf oreheadIopenedmyey esIcoul
dn't
bel
iev
et hem.myhear tst
artedr
aci
ngtears
warmingupi nmyey es.
“
Zo.
.zo.
.Zol
ani
”
[
06/
02,
19:
10]W:
94
KUHLEKONKE
•
IneverthoughtIwil
lseet hisfaceev eragai n
eventhoughmydadnev ertoldmewhat
happenedheonl ytoldmet hatZolani wi
ll never
bothermeagai nbutjudgingbyt hegunshot sI
heardwhenwewal kedoutofhi shouset hat
dayIassumedhei sdead.Ev er
ythinghedi dto
mest ar
tedplayinginmyheadl i
keamov i
e, f
ear
consumedmywhol ebodyIwasshaki ng
uncontr
ollabl
eandmyhear twaspoundi nghar d.
Hecouldseet hatIwast err
ifi
ed
Zol
ani
:
“Don'
tbescar
edIwon'
thur
tyou”
WhenIhear dhisv oiceitregi
steredt omethat
i
t'
sreall
yhim.Hei snotdeadhei sal i
veandhe
i
sheretoav engehi msel fIdi
dn'tcareabout
whathewi l
ldotomeIwast hi
nkingaboutmy
sonandthedaught erthatIm car r
ying.If
eltl
i
ke
Iwasrunningoutofai rIcouldn'tbreatheI
gaspedforairholdingmychest .Iwashav i
ng
anasthmaticattack.
Het
ookmyi
nhal
erf
rom t
hebedsi
det
abl
eand
helpedmei nhaledit.Mi nuteslat
erIr egained
mynor mal br
eat hi
ngpace.“ Howarey ou
feeli
ng”Icoul dn'tut
terawor dIletmyt earsf
all
effort
lessl
y“ OhKonkeI 'm sorryI
'm sososor r
y
mydearpl easedon' tcryIwonthur ty ouI
promisey ouhav etotrustme”Hewi pedmy
tearsIfli
ncheduncomf ortable
Me:
“Wher
e..
.wherei
smyson.
.whatdi
dyoudo
t
ohim”Iwhi
spered
Zolani
:
“OursonisfineIwi
llneverhurthi
m.I
knowitshardforyoutobel
ievemebutIwon' t
causeyouoroursonanyhar m Ijustwantedto
tal
kwithyou.Ineededtoseeyouandt alkto
you”
Me:“
IwantmysonZol anipl
easedon'thur
thi
m
I
m beggingyouhedidn'
tdoanythi
nghei s
i
nnocentI'
mt heonewhobetray
edy ounothi
m”
Hesi ghedheav
il
yandtookthelapt
opont
he
bedsidetabl
eandgaveitt
ome.Isatup
str
aightandlookedatt
hescreenther
emyboy
wasinwhatlookli
keapl
ayr
oom pl
ayi
ngwi
th
Zol
ani
'
ssist
er'ski
ds.
Zol
ani
:
“Doy
oubel
i
evemenow”
Me:
“Wher
eist
hisr
oom?
”
Zolani
:“
Downstai
rsrel
axIwon'
thur
tyouI
promise”hesoundedsi
ncer
ebutIdi
dn'
twant
tobuyit
Me:
“IwannagohomeletusgoZol
ani”Hetook
t
helapt
opandputi
tbackonthebedsi
detable
Zolani
:
“Pleasegiv
emeachancet
otal
ktoy
ou
thatal
lIwantfrom y
ou”
Me:“Idon'
twanttotal
ktoyouokayj
ustgetus
thefuckoutofherebef
oremydadfi
ndy ouand
kil
lyouthi
sti
me!”
Zolani
:
“Youareangryandy
ouhaveev
eryri
ght
tobebutpleasegi
vemeachancetotal
kto
you”
Me:“
Whatdi
dyoutodotome?Howdoy ou
ev
enknewthatwewer
eatthatchesany
amaI
r
emembereati
nganddrinkingthenextt
hingI
wasdi
zzy
.Ihopeyoudidn'tpourpoi
soninmy
f
oodohmyGod”Icried
Zolani:
“Woul dy
ouf uckingl i
stentome
woman! !”hesnappedIj umpedupi nfearand
l
ookedathi m“Ihavebeenar oundf oll
owingyou.
Iknowev er
ythi
ngabouty ourlif
eIknowt hat
yourfathernevertoldy ouwhathappenedand
youjustassumedI 'm dead.Wel lyourfat
her
neverwant edmedeadt hatwouldhav ebeen
tooeasyaf tert
hepai nIputy out hrough”He
breathoutloudlyandl ookedatme
Me:
“ButhowImeanIhear
dthegunshot
sI
t
houghtheki
l
ledy
ou”
Zolani
:“
Hedi dn'
tthatwasgoingtobet ooeasy
hewant edmet opayandIdi dpayshame.My
guyswer etr
yingtoprot
ectmet heyfiredgun
shotsatyourfather'
sguysandy ourfather'
sguy
didthesamet hingwewer eoutnumber edand
yourdad'sguyswer eweari
ngbul l
etproofs.
Theyinject
edmeIwokeupi nament al
i
nstit
uti
onmyar msandl egstiedlikean
ani
mal .
”Hepausedandswal lowedspi t“Ihav
e
neverbeentort
uredlikethati
nmyl i
fe.They
weretreati
ngmel i
keasl ave,beatingt hehell
outofmeandi nject
ingmeev erysingl edayof
myl i
fethatwhatIhadt oendur e.Ibeggedand
beggedbutnoonecar ed”
Hepausedbl
i
nki
ngt
het
ear
sawayt
henhe
cont
inued
“Theymadesur ethatIknowev erythi
ngthat
washappeni ngout si
dethewor l
despeci al
ly
abouty ou.WhenIf oundoutyouwer epregnant
Iwassohappyandt hatwasamot ivat
ionfor
met oescapet hathellhol
ebutIf ail
ed.Iknow
thathewasbor npr ematurebeli
ev emet hepain
youwer egoingthroughIwasgoi ngt hroughit
too.Thesaddestpar tisIcoul
dn'tdoany thi
ngI
wasl ockedupi nsomel oonybin.Ihavenev er
fel
tdef eatedli
ket hati
nmyl if
e.Iwant edtodie
thetorturewast oomuchf orme.Icoul dn'
ttake
i
tIdon' thowdi dIsurviv
edfortwofucking
yearsint hathel
lhole.Iswearthi
sisnothow
theytreatlunati
csyourdadwaspay i
ngt hose
peoplet otort
uremeandt heydidaykancane
futhi
.Ihav edeepscar sonmywhol ebody .”
hewasshaki ngandt earswer er unningdowni n
hisf ace“ Event odayI 'm st i
llrecov eri
ngfrom
thatt rauma.I magesoft hatencount eri
s
plast eredonmymi ndlikeagl ue.Icanst i
ll
tast
e
theirsmel l
ydicksandt heirsper msi nmymout h.
Iremembert hisot herdayIr efusedt ofall
ate
oneoft hem theyf orcedmei nt oicecoldwat er
andbeatt hehell outofmewi thsj amboksunt i
lI
feltmybodynumb.Ear l
iert hisy earImanaged
toescapeIhav ebeenar oundsi ncet hentryi
ng
topi ckmy sel
fupf r
om al lthet rauma.Iwas
keepi ngt absony ouI '
mt heonewhoshot
Jonat han.”Hewi pedhi st earsbutt heykept
fall
ingIwascr yingt oo.Nowi tsmakesense
whywenev erfoundoutwhoki l
ledJonathan.
Hest oodupandt ookof fhisNi ket -
shir
tI
gaspedt
othesi
ghtoft
hescar
esonhi
sbody
.
Me:
“I
m sor
ry”Isobbed.
Heputbackthet
-shi
rtont
hensatdownt
aki
ng
myhandsint
ohis
Zolani:“
Dontbesor ryIbr oughtt hi
suponmy sel
f.
HadIt reatedy oul ikeaQueeny ouar eIwoul dnt
hav egonet hroughal lthatpai n.Idon'tblame
yourdadcozI 'dabsol utelydot hesamei f
someonecoul dhur tourson.I m sorryf orthe
painIbr oughtupony ourl i
fe.Hur t
ingy ouist he
regretthatwi l
l hauntmef oreverandIwi l
l never
forgivemy selff orthat.Iwasasel f
ishabusi v e
bastard.Iwant edLuci aatt hesamet imeI
couldn'tbeart het houghtofl osingy ouhenceI
want edhert obemysecondwi febutt ruthisI
hav enev erl
ikedher .Iwasanegocent ri
cfool
whowast hi
nki ngwi thhi sdick.Iwantt o
apologiset oyouf rom thedeepestofmyhear t.
Younev erdeser vet hepai nIputy out hrough
myl ove.Youwer eani ncr ediblegir
lfri
endev er
youpour edallyourl ov etome, youmademe
happyandspoi ledmebutIwasntr eadyf oryou
MaZi kodeIhur ty oubey ondwor dscanexpl ain.
Iwasn' treadyf ory ouhowIwi shI '
dtakeback
thehandsoft imeandmeety ouagai nbutt his
ti
meber eadyfory ou.IknowImessedupand
there'
snogoi ngback.Youhav ef oundsomeone
whol ov eyout hewayy oudeserv etobel ov ed,
whor especty ouandt reatyoulikeaf ragil
e
cargohowev erIwi ll
notst opprayingthatone
daywewi l
lfi
ndeachot her.ThatonedayGod
willgivemeachancet oshowmehowmuchdo
Ilovey ou.Hei samanofsecondchancesI
beli
ev eHewi llal sogr antmet hatoppor tunityto
recti
fymymi stakesandl oveyouunt ilyougai n
weight.”
Everywordthatcameoutofhismout hcarri
ed
hugeamountofr emorsef
ulandsi
ncer i
tyIdidn'
t
expectthataf
terwhatheputmethrough.Thi s
guythatwasinf r
ontofmeistheZolanithatI
fal
linl
ov ewit
hnotthatani
mal.Hewi pedmy
t
ear
sbef
orewipi
nghi
s.“Youwil
lal
waysbet
he
womant
hatIl
oveal
waysandfor
ever”
Wel ookedateachot herintoey eshebr ushed
myl i
pswi thhi sthumbashei nchedcl oser .Our
l
ipst ouchedweki ssedpassi onat el
y .“Il ove
you”Heki ssedmyf oreheadthenst oodup.He
scoopedmeupbr idalstyl
eandwal ked
downst airswi thme.Heheadedout sideandput
medownnex ttomycar .Heopenedt hedr i
ver
doorandhel pedmesi tdownt henmadesur e
thatI'm strappedi n.“Im comi ng”He
disappear edt othehouseandcamebackwi th
Sbongai nhisar mswhowaseat ingsi mba
chips.Heputhi m ont hebackseatandbuckl ed
hisbel t
.“Her e”Itookmyi nhalerandputi non
thegl oveboxasIal way skeepi tther e.“ Drive
safely”Heki ssedmyf oreheadt henski pped
i
nsidel eav i
ngmel ooki ngathi sbehi ndamazed
aboutwhatj usthappened.Isi ghedandst arted
theengi net hendr ovet ohome.I twasal ready
darkI '
m sur eathomet heyarewor riednow.
Me:
“Ar
eyoual
ri
ght
?”
Sbonga:
“YesMama”Hesai
dwithchi
psinhis
mouth“Mommyisuncl
eZolani
yourf
riend?
”
Me:
“Uhm y
es”
Sbonga:“Heiscool
”If
akedasmil
ethen
focusedontheroadwhenwegethome
everyoneatt
ackeduswit
hhugs
AuntyZo:
“YhooKonkewher ehaveyoubeen!
Wewer eworri
edaboutyou.YourDadwas
goi
ngcrazyhewenttolookf ory
ou.
”Herey es
wereredIcoul
dtel
lthatshewascrying
Me:
“I
mfi
neaunt
y”
Sebe:
“Wher
ewer
eyou”
Me:
“Iwantt
orestI
'
mti
red”
Gogo:”
Nansiimihl
ola!
”sheclappedherhands
asIwalkedtomybedr oom.Dramawast helast
thi
ngIneeded.Isatonmybedt hinki
ngabout
whatwentdown.Icouldn'
thelpbutnoti
ce
peace,cl
osur
e,heali
ngthatengulf
edmyhear t
.
Idon'tknowmay beIwantedtohearhi m
apologisingtome, admit
ti
ngt hathedidme
wrong.Somet i
meswhati tt
akef oronetoheal
i
st oheart hatpersonwhowr ongedy ou
acknowl edgingthepainheorsheputy ou
thr
oughandapol ogisi
ng.
Ther
ewasal
ter
cat
ionout
sidemydoor
“EyeysalukaziIdon'
tcar
eaboutbadlucksI
wanttoseemywi fe!
”Thedoorbur
stopenin
cameI nalooki
ngallfr
ust
rat
edhiseyeswere
bloodshotred.
I
na:“
Baby !
”hehal frant omeandsatnextt ome
“
Whatdi dtheydot oy ou?Whot ookyou?Ar e
youinpain?”Hesai dsear chi
ngmeIcr ied.
“
Konket alktomepl easeIwantt oki
l
l t
hose
motherf
ucker s!”Ihel dont ohi
m andcried
“
Babypleaset el
lmewhatdi dtheydotoy ou”
Hesaidwi thacr yingv oice
Me:
“Nothi
ng”Hepul
l
edbackandl
ookedatme
wi
thtear
yeyes
I
na:“
Dontbabyyouareherenowwithme.Just
t
ell
mewhatdi dtheydotheywon'
thur
tyouno
more”
Me:
“Iswearbaby
.It
swasZol
ani
”
I
na:
“Whaat
?It
houghthedi
ed”
Iwentonandtoldhim ev
ery
thi
ngexceptt
he
ki
ssingpar
tofcourse“Wowitsser
veshimri
ght
Ihopeheisnotgonnacausetr
oubl
ebetween
uscozIwil
lki
llhi
m”
Me:“
Ihopesotoobutheseem si
ncer
eZol
ani
woul
dn'thav
eletmego”
I
na:
“Youaremi nebabyandmineal
onenoone
i
sgoingt
ot akeyouawayfrom y
ou”
Me:
“Nev
er”
I
na:
“Idon'
twantt
olety
ougonowIal
mostl
ost
y
ou.
”
Me:
“Youknowy
oushoul
dn'
tbeher
e”
I
na:
“Tomor
rowwasgoi
ngt
obet
oof
arIwant
ed
t
oseey
ounow”
Thewasaknockont
hedoor
.
Me:
“Comei
n”Dadwal
kedi
n
Dad:
“Si
thol
eyouar
enotsupposet
obeher
e”
I
na:
“Gr
eet
ingsMrZwane”MyDadchuckl
ed
Dad:
“Gr
eet
ingsy
ouhav
eseenhernowl
eav
e.”
Ina:“
Iwil
lcall
youlat
erbaby
”Heki
ssedmy
foreheadthenwentout
.Dadwal
kedtomybed
andsatdown
Dad:“
Youhadmewor
ri
edpr
incesswhat
happened”
Me:
“Zol
ani
happened”
Dad:
“huuuh”Hewi
denhi
sey
es
Me:
“Youdi
dntknowheescapedt
hel
oonybi
n?”
Dad:“Notheydi
dn'
ttel
lme!”Iwentonandt ol
d
him ever
ythi
ng“t
hatsonofbit
chIdon'
ttrust
himi fhedaret
ouchyouIwill
ter
minatehim
thi
st i
me”
Me:
“Daddi
dyouhav
etot
ort
urehi
mli
ket
hat
?”
Dad:“
Ofcourse!
”heretor
ted.Isighedand
rest
edmyheadonhi sshoulder.“Tomorrowi s
yourbigdaypri
ncessIwantyout oenjoyitandI
promisenooneisgoingtoruinitfory
ou.”
Me:
“Thanky
oudaddy
”
THEWEDDI
NGDAY
Icoul
dfeel
theheavi
nessonmeIopenedmy
eyesLwaziwasst
ari
ngatmesl
eeping
Me:“
Dudewhaty
ouar
edoi
ngi
scr
eepy
”she
l
aughed
Lwazi
:
“Goodmor
ning"
Me:
“Mor
ningwhatt
imei
sit
”
Lwazi
:“Ar
ound6o'clock.
..someoneisget
ti
ng
marri
edtodayandtheweat herl
ookgood”
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
“Ican'
tbel
i
eveI
'
m get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed”
Lwazi
:
“Wel
lbel
i
evei
tbaby
!”
Me:“I
m get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed!
”Iscr
eamedandshe
j
oined
Lwazi:
“Youareget
ti
ngmar ri
ed!”Wesquealedi
n
exci
tement“I
m sohappyfory oumyf ri
endI
wishyouallt
hebestinyourmar r
iageyou
deserv
eallt
hehappinessinthewor l
d”
Me:
“Ncooy
oumakemewantt
ocr
ynow”
Lwazi
:
“Donthol
dthem l
etthem f
all
cozonce
wehadabathandbeauti
fyyounomoretear
s”
Igi
ggledwipedmytear
s.Shepull
edmet oher
chestandembracedme.Iwasfeel
ingnamby
pamby
“Wehavetogobatht
heweddi
ngast
ost
artas
ear
lyaspossi
ble”
Wewer egoingtohavebothwhit
eweddi ngand
tr
adit
ionalweddi
ngtoday.Wesli
doutofbed
andmadet hebedthenwenttotakeashower
whil
esingi
ngweddingsongs.Wef i
nishedand
dri
edourselv
esbeforemakingourwayt othe
bedroom wher
ewef
oundAunt
yZozoandher
si
sterinl
aw.
Wegr eetedandtheygreetedbacktheywer e
heretogivemet he"Tal
k"Ili
stenedtothem
att
entiv
elyaft
erthatmyglam squadarrived.
Lwaziwasgoi ngtobemai dofhonour,my
bri
desmai dsweregoingtobeSebenzil
e,
ThembekaandThandowhol ookedrat
hersick.
Me:
“Ar
eyouokayThando”
Thando:“Ye.
..
”sherushedtothebat
hroom t
o
vomitthatwhatshehav ebeendoi
ngsinceshe
arr
ived.
shecamebackdr
aggi
ngherf
eet
Me:
“Ar
eyousur
eyougoi
ngt
obeokay
”
Thando:
“YesSi
sKonkeI
mfi
ne”
Me:
“Whenwast
hel
asty
ouhady
ourper
iods?
”
sheswal
l
owedhar
d
Thando:
“Lastweek”
Me:“Mh”Ilookedathersheav oi
dedey e
contactedandtheretheanswerwas.OMGI ssy
i
sgoi ngtokil
lher.Mybridesmaidshelpedme
dressedtheydressedtoo.Myglam squaddid
myhai randmakeupwhi chtooklongercozI
wassweat ingduetoanxietyandnerves.
Lwaz:
“Br
eat
hKonkeokay
”
Me:
“Whati
fsomet
hinggoeswr
ong”
Sebe:
“Not
hingwi
l
lgowr
ongcuz”
Thando:“
Ev eni
fther
eismybrot
herwi
l
lst
il
l
marryyou.”Ismil
ednerv
ousl
y
Istoodupwhent heyf
ini
shedandl ooked
my selfint
hemi r
rorIl
ostwordsIlookedso
beaut i
fuli
nalongmer mai
dsleevesdr essmade
oftullemater
ialwithl
aceappli
quedet ai
li
ngand
sty
lishbackdesignwithsomebeads.“ Wow
youl ookamazingsisKonke”
Me:“
Thanky oubaby
”Iwhisper
edt
ear
sfall
i
ng
downmyf ace.HowIwishmom washer
eto
seehowbeauti
ful
herdaught
erlookli
keonher
weddingdayI
'
m sureshewouldhavebeen
proudofme.
Lwazi
:
“Ha.
aKonkeIsai
dnomor
etear
s”
Me:
“I
m sor
ry”
Theglam squadf
ixedmymakeupt
her
eand
ther
e.
Thembeka:
“Let
stakeasel
fi
e”Wedi
d.
Mybr i
desmaidswer eonrosegoldmermaid
dresswithasli
tont helef
tandopenedback.
Theylookedravi
shing.Therewasaknockon
thedoor“Comei n”
Dadwalkedinlooki
ngall
gor
geousi
nabl
ack
sui
t,whi
teshir
tandrosegol
dti
e.
Dad:
“Wowpr
incessy
oul
ooki
ng.
.AMAZI
NG”
Me:
“Thanky
oudaddyy
oul
ookedhandsome”
Dad:
“Thanksbaby.
..
Gir
lswai
tforusoutsi
de”
Theydi
dast heyweret
old.“
I'
m soproudofyou
myangel youhav ebeent hroughal otbutyou
neverletthatbr ingy oudown.I nthesey earswe
mety ouhav egrownt obet hisextraordinary
beautifulwoman, motheranddaught er.Ihope
thatthisisthebegi nni
ngofy ourhappi nessas
youder serveal lthehappinessi nyourlif
e.
Wishingy oul otsofj oyandl ov ewithyour
husbandt oget her .Mayev erydayofy ourlif
e
hereafterholdwonder fulshar edexper i
ences.I
l
ov eyoupr incess”Iswal lowedspi tpreventi
ng
my selffr
om cr ying.
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oodaddy
”
Dad:
“Iboughty
out
hisneckpi
ece”
Me:“Wowisbeaut
if
ul”Itwastenni
sdiamonds
neckpi
eceI
tmusthav ecosthi
m hisarm anda
l
eg
Dad:“Iknow”Ichuckl
ed“Letmehelpyouwith
i
t”Iturnedaroundhehel
pedmewor ethe
necklaceitl
ookedbeaut
ifulonmyskin.“
The
carsarewaiti
ngweshoul dgo”Thefamil
ycame
tofet
chmewi thaweddi
ngsong.Weheaded
outtothecar
s.
Me:“Thankyouf orthecars”Iwhisperedto
daddyhesmi led.Ihavealwaysbeenav ol
vofan
hehiredvolv
ogr eyconceptcoupesand
converti
blef
ormeandmymai dofhonour.
Hootingsoundsandul ulati
onsfi
ll
edt hesuburb
i
tsonl yt
henitsregist
eredtomet hatImf i
nall
y
gett
ingmar r
iedtothelov eofmyl ove.
Uponarr
ivalDaddywasrightnextt
omehelpi
ng
mewithbreathi
ngexer
cises.Iwassoner
vous
Dad:
“Br
eatheandr elax”Idi
dashesaid.The
gr
oomsmenandt hebr i
desmaidsmadethei
r
waytotheweddingchapel wit
hastep.Nowits
wasmygr andentrance.“Ar
eyouready?”
Me:
“Yes”
Dad:
“Let
sgety
oumar
ri
edt
hen”
Ihookedhi
sarm aswewer est
andingonthe
entr
anceofthechapel
thatwasdecorat
edin
rosegol
dandwhi
te.Musi
cstar
tedpl
ayi
ng
every
onest
ooduptoacknowl
edgmypresence.
I
tsfunnythatitswasnotmyf i
rstti
mehav i
ngto
beinfrontofpeoplebutIwassoscared.Isaw
hi
mr ighttherenexttoMjwhowashi sbest
man.Icoul dseethathewasnervoustooashe
wipedhisf or
ehead.
Mj nudgedhi m hetil
tedhisheadandl ookedat
meourey eslockedhef l
ashedhi sgor geous
smi l
et hatcalmedmyner ves.Ifixedmyey eson
him asIwal kedinslowl ywi thDaddyf ollowi
ng
Cassi ewhowast hrowi ngr osepet al
sonour
feet.Wegott othef r
ontdaddyt ookmyhand
andpl acedi tonIna'slefthandt henr eti
redto
hisplacenextt ohi swife.I naandIwer e
l
ooki ngateachot herli
kei twast hefirsttime.
Pastor:“
Dearbelovedwear egather
edhere
togetherinthepresenceoft hesewit
nessesto
j
oinNkosi namandlaSitholeandKuhlekonke
Zwanei nholymat ri
mony .I
fanyherecanshow
j
ustcausewhyt heymayl
awfull
ynotbejoi
ned
t
ogetherspeaknoworfor
everhol
dyourpeace”
Myhear twasdoi ngjumpingj acksIscannedmy
eyesar oundt hechapel I
natight enedhi sgripon
myhandwhenZol animadehi sent rance.
Ev er
yoneexcl aimedwithshockIl ookedathi m
ourey eslockedhewentt osi tont hebackr ow.I
l
etoutt hebr eathIwashol dingandIcoul dsee
thatInawasdoi ngthesame“ Letscont i
nue
then”hecl earedhisthroat“Let '
spr ay”We
closedourey esthepastorpr ayedt heni twas
ti
met osayt hevows.Ilookedathi st winkli
ng
eyes
Me:“JobewhenImety ouIwasbrokenbey ond
wordscanexpl ain.Il
ostfai
thinloveand
thoughtlov
ei saf ant
asybutthedayy ouwalked
i
nmyl if
eyouchangedmywor l
d.Youmademy
l
ifemesmer izi
ngandbeaut i
fulwit
hy our
rel
entlessl
ove.Ourr oadhadcurvesandbumps
butwemadei tthrough.Iwanttothankyoumy
l
ov efornevergivinguponmeandf orgiv
ingme
asecondchancei ny ourli
fe.Iwantt othanky ou
forseeingawomany oucoul d,l
ove,cherish,
respectandmakey ourwifeinme.Thanky ou
fortr
ust i
ngmeenought omot heryourchi l
dren.
Ipromi setoneverletgoofwhatwebui lt
together.Youaret heonewhom Iwantt ospend
everysinglemomenti nmyl i
feuntilmylast
breath.Yourpresencei nmyl if
ehasr edefined
myexi stenceont hisplanet.I
'm soinsanely,
crazi
lyanddeepl yinlov ewithyou
Nkosinamandl aSitholethatIcan'tseeany thi
ng
othertheny ouallaroundme. ”
Iwipedhistearst
hatwerefal
li
ngef
fort
lessl
y
onhischeekswiththebackofmyhands.He
cl
earedhisthr
oatandlookedatme
I
na:“Iwil
lgetyouformakingmecr yinfront
peoplebaby”Weshr i
ekedwi t
hlaughter“You
l
ookbr eat
ht aki
ngmylove.”
Me:
”Thanky
ousodoy
ou”Iwhi
sper
ed
I
na:
“Thanky
oumysweet
hear
t.YouknowIhad
i
tallfi
guredi
toutbutthemomenty ouwalked
i
nont hatdoorIl
ostallmywordssoIwi l
lsi
ng”
Ithoughthewasjoki
ngbutMj gavehim amic
andIssystar
tedplay
ingthekeyboar
d
“
Enhl
i
zweni
yami
Kukhal
aesakhoi
sigi
nci
Wangbukawahl
ekay
inawungbel
i
eve
Akekhoomuny
e
Wuwewenawedwa
Exy
akhoi
nebhadi
I
sli
mangempel
a
Howcouldhel
ety
ougoway
ephuzeni
ngempel
a
Howcouldhel
ety
ougoebedakwey
in
ngempel
a”
I
tfunnyit
sonlyt
henInoti
cedt
hathegota
beaut
if
ulvoi
ceever
.Ever
yonel
aughedand
l
ookedatZolani
whostoodupandwalkedout
.
HegaveMj t
hemicandt
ookmyhandsbef
ore
pl
ant
ingki
ssesonmypal
ms
“MaZwanei tmakemehappyt obest andi ng
her enextt oy ouandi nfrontofourf amiliesand
fri
endsdecl aringmyl ovef ory ou.Youwer e
cust om desi gnedf ormebyGod' sownhands
andt odayI 'm mar kingy oumi nef orev er
.Those
whot houghtmi ghtst andachancet heymi ght
aswel lgi v
eupcozy ouar emi nenow.WhenI
mety oumyl if
ewascol d, sadandl onelyandI
feltli
keIwasl osttheni nthemi ddleofmy
chaosIf oundy ou.Ifoundmyuni verseiny ou,I
foundr easonbehi ndmyexi stence.Thanky ou
forchoosi ngmeoutofal lt hemeni nt hewor l
d.
Thanky ouf orseei ngmeasper fectf i
ttof ather
yourchi l
dr enandwi fey ou.Myl ovef ory ouwi ll
stayt ruef or everIwi l
lsuppor ty ouandst and
nextt ol ikeasol i
dr ock.Yourl ov eisbeaut iful
l
y
andi nt r
icat elywov enwi thet ernal t
hr eadsi nto
ever yfabr icofmyhear tandsoul .Ipr omi set o
nev ergi veupont hisbeaut iful bondofl ov ewe
shar e.Ilov
eyouwithallmyheartKuhlekonke
ZwaneandIwi ll
loveyoutil
let
erni
tyand
bey ond”myt earscoul
dn'thel
pbutfall
relentlessl
yhewipedthem wit
hhisthumbsand
kissedme
Pastor:“
NotyetMrSithol e”abi
toflaughterwas
shared“Wherearether ings”Mjgavethepastor
theringswhoblessedt hem “Asy ouplacethe
ri
nginy ourpar
tner
'sfingerpleaserepeatthe
words.”
Ina:“
Thisismysacredgif
ttoyou,asymbolof
myl ove,asi
gnthatfr
om thi
sdayforwar
dand
alway smylovewil
lsur
roundyou”Hesli
dthe
ringintomyfi
nger
Me:“
Thisismysacredgif
ttoyou,asymbol
of
mylove,asi
gnthatfr
om thi
sdayforwar
dand
al
waysmyl ovewil
lsur
roundyou”Isl
idt
heri
ng
i
ntohisfi
nger
Past
or:
“Inowpronouncey
ouhusbandandwi
fe
youmaysealyourvowswit
hakiss”
I
nali
ckedhisli
psandwiggl
edhiseyebr
owsI
gi
ggledsof
tl
y.Hepull
edmeclosetohim wi
th
myneckandkissedmedeeplyt
ouchingfr
agi
le
par
tsofmybeing.
Every
onewascheer i
ngandululat
ingatlastI
m
MrsNkosi namandl aSit
holehappywoul dbean
understatementIwasov erthemoon.He
i
ntert
winedourhandsaswemadeourwayt o
wherewewer egoingt otaket
hepi ct
ures.When
wewer edonewi t
hpictureswemadeourway
whereev er y
thingwassetupanddecor ated
beauti
full
ywi t
hrosegol dandwhite.
Weat efoodwhilesoftmusi cwasplayingthen
ther
ewer espeeches.AfterspeechesInaandI
hadourdancet hecouplesjoinedus.Theday
wasgoingaccor di
ngl
yandt hewayIwi sh.Lat
er
wewentt otheSi t
hol
eResi dencefort
raditi
onal
wedding.
Ichangedthewhit
edressandwor
eisdwaba
andbeadedt-
shi
rtneschol
owhi
leI
nawasina-
beshulooki
ngallyummyhi sabsoutintheopen
Iwantedtotellt
heladiest
hatthi
sisall
mine.
Every
thingwentwellthenthebit
ter
sweet
momentar r
ived,sayi
nggoodbyestoeveryone.
Mom: “Congr
atul
ati
onsmychi
ldr
enenj
oyy our
honeymoon”ShehuggedusIcanseet
hatshe
wantedtocry.
Dad:
“Thatwentv
eryv
erywel
lenj
oy”Hehugged
me.
Si
hle:
“Enj
oypr
incess”wehugged
I
ssy:“Congr
atsmfazi
kaTwinni
e”Shehugged
met henshewenttohert
winbrot
her“Ihope
youuchathi
leTwi
nnie3monthsyonkekwi
honeymoon”Welaughed
Ina:
“Youhav
eadi
rt
ymi
ndwena”Wel
aughed
again.
I
tssadtosaygoodby el
uckywewer egoing
wit
hourchi
ldrencozIdon'tt
hinkIwouldhave
beenabl
etoleavethem behi
nd.Thekidsgoti
n
theot
hercarwhi
lewereont heconver
ti
blet
hat
waswritt
enJUSTMARRI EDatthebackand
decor
atedwit
hball
oons.ul
ulati
onsandhoots
fi
ll
edmyearsaswedr ovetotheair
port
.
Me:“Wher
eareyout
aki
ngusmny
eni
wami
”he
gr
innedwidel
y
I
na:
“Par
is”
Me:
“Youl
ie!
”Iscr
eamedIhav
eal
way
swant
ed
t
ogother
e.
Ina:
“Ohnomf
azi
wami
”Iat
tackedhi
m wi
tha
kiss
Me:
“Thanky
ousomuchJobe”
I
na:
“Musaukukhal
aphel
a”(
Don'
tcr
y)heki
ssed
mytear
saway
Me:“I
m cr
yingcozI
m happyy
oumakeme
happy.
”
I
na:“Youmakemehappy
”Weki
ssed
passionat
ely
.
I
fIcouldgot hrought hepai nIsuf feredjustf or
ustobet ogetheragainIwoul dn'thesitatecozi t
waswor thitattheendoft heday .Ifoundmy
pri
ncechar ming,myl i
fe,mysoul ,myhear t,my
j
oy,myf ir
e,myf lame, mylov e,myev erything.
Mawukut hiubusambheki leaski esy ezwa
usengowami ngi
kuphauZol anikuncono
mhlampeuzobar eadyforwenay abo(Ify ou
wereeyinghimI 'm sorr
yhei smi nenowIcan
giv
ey ouZolani may behewi llber eadyf or
you)
[
06/
02,
19:
10]W:
★ Pat
ienceTi
mandze★
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95
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Wewer eall
rel
ivedwhenKonke'
sauntcal
led
Si
hleandinfor
medherthatKonkeandSbonga
areback.Mytwi
nbrotherwasgoingcr
azy
baki
thihewentt
hereandforgett
hepartt
hathe
i
snotsupposetoseehiswifeuntil
tomorr
ow.
“
YewenaI
ssysewzi
l
eki
miukuzongi
bingel
ela”
(I
ssy oudi
dntcomeandgr
eetme)t
hatwas
grandma.
Trustmygr andmat owantspecial
treat
ment.
Greeti
ngherwi ththecrowdisnotenoughyou
mustgr eetherseparat
ely
.Iwenttohershewas
seatedont hecouch.Isatnextt
oher
Me:
“SawbonaGogo”(
Hel
l
oGogo)
Gogo:“
Hay
iangsaf
uni
”(Idon'
twantany
mor
e)
Logogomadoda!
Me: “
I'
m sorryGogoIwasgonnacomeandgr
eet
youIwasst i
ll
shockedbyKonke'
s
disappearance”
Gogo:
“Ohoknunuzahowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
'mf
ineGogounj
ani
wena”(
howar
eyou)
Gogo:
“I
m alsofi
nesweethear
t”Sheplanteda
peckonmyl i
ps“Howistheli
tt
leangel?
”she
pl
acedherhandonmyt ummy
Me:
“Shei
sfi
nebutIwantheroutal
ready
”
Gogo:“
Youar eal
mostthere.Howarey ouf
or
realmychil
dwhaty ouar
egoi ngt
hroughis
verydi
ff
icul
t”Isi
ghedheavil
yshelookedatme
worri
ed
Me:“Iwontki
llmyselfgr
anmarel
axokay
”she
smil
edf ai
ntl
y“Iwil
lbeokayt
hesethi
ngs
happens”
Gogo: “
Iknowwhatyouaregoingthroughmy
chil
dandi t
'sr
eal
lyt
raumatizi
ngbutdon't
hesitat
etotal
ktomeI '
m hereforyouanyti
me
I'
mj ustgl
adyouwalkedawaybef oretheworst
”
Ieyedher
Me:“
Ifi
t'
sagooddeci
siongr
andmathenwhy
doesIt
shur
tsomuch.Imisshi
m andIfeel
li
ke
Igi
venuponhimtooearl
y”
shesighedandtookmyhandsi ntohersstar
ing
atmewi thherwhitepureeyes.Istar
edright
backatthisoldver
sionofmi nemayGodhel p
meIwantt oagel i
kegrandma.Herbeaut yis
sti
llv
isi
bleeventodayandshel ookedyounger
thenherage.Umkhuluwal i
shayaikhanda
umonaphansi .
Gogo:
“Byt
heti
meyougaveuplat
erwhoknows
maybeyouwoul
dhav
elostyourl
i
fe”
Me:“
Iguessyouarer
ightt
hisi
sthewor
st
ni
ghtmareev
er.”
Gogo:“I
m sodisappoi
ntedi
nt hi
sboypartofme
doesn'
twanttobeliev
ehedi dthi
sImeanheis
sosweet .Hej
ustremindmet heearl
ydaysof
myr el
ati
onshi
pwi t
hyourgrandfat
her.
”
Me:“Im al
sodi
sappoi
ntedGogol
i
keInev
er
thoughthecanlayhi
shandonme.I
t'
ssti
ll
feel
s
surreal
”
Gogo:“
Whatdoesy
ouri
nst
inct
stel
lyouabout
t
his?”
Me:“Thatheisgoingt hroughadi f
fi
culttime.He
can'
tdealwiththesituationafteral
lIt
sr eal
lya
hardsit
uati
ononecanhandl e.Henevermeant
tohurtme.PKi ssoftandsweetGogobutone
thi
ngIknowf orsurehecanki llf
orme. ”She
keptquit
easi fshei
st hi
nkingaboutsomet hing
Gogo:“YouknowbabywhatIcant ell
youisi
f
youtwower emeantt obetoget
heryouwil
lbe
t
ogetheragainevenifther
e'sathi
rdper
son
i
nvol
v edinthi
s”Ilookedather
Me:“
Yout
hinkt
her
e'ssomeonei
nvol
vedi
n
t
his?
”
Gogo:“Idon'
tknowI '
mjustsayi
ngIalsowent
thr
ought hesamet hi
ngsthandwasami andit
tur
nedoutt her
e'swasat hi
rdpersoninv
olv
ed.I
couldbewr ongthough”
Me:
“Iheary
ougogobuthow?
”
Gogo:“
Wit
chr
aftisrealouttheremychil
dask
meIknow.Don'tworryyourselft
oomuch
not
hingst
ayhiddenforeverjustf
ocusonyour
studi
esandyourpregnancysometi
mesy ou
havetowatchthi
ngssolvethemsel
ves”
Me:
“Thanky
ouGogo”
Idon'tthi
nkt here'
sa3r dper soninthisits
soundi mpossi bl
ePKi sfindingithardtodeal
withthesituationsoi t
sturninghimi ntoa
vi
olentpersonmor eoverhedoesn' twantt ofind
someonet ot alkto.I
t '
sdi
f f
icultnj
eifhei sthe
onethatisnotmeet ingmehal fwaysowal ki
ng
awaywast heonl ywaymay bewewi l
lfindeach
otherinthenextl i
fetime.HugeSi gh!
THEWEDDI
NGDAY
Everyoneandev er
ythingwast oobeaut i
fulIwas
happyf ormyt winbrot herandKonke.IsawPK
i
nhi swheel chai
rlookingal l
gorgeousinhis
navysui t
.Iwantedt ogoandgr eethim butI
stoppedwhenIsawhi sex,pushi nghi
m
towardst hechapel.I'
m nott al
kingaboutKuhle
ImeanSi yamthandahi sexgi r
lf
riendbefor
e
Kuhleandhi m wer etogether.Theywer e
l
aughi
ngaboutsomet
hingl
ooki
ngal
lhappy
.
Ifeltashar ppainofjealousypenet r
ati
nginmy
hear twhatdi dIexpect edIlefthim.Shelookso
beaut i
ful shehav eamodel li
kebodywi t
hlong
l
egsandherski nisfl
awl essIlookedatmy sel
f
forthef ir
sti nmyl i
feIdi dn'
tfeelgoodabout
my selfIal waysknewt hatIhav eabodytodie
forbutt odayInol ongert hi
nksoIsawt hecold
hugeunat t
ract
ivebitchIf el
tmyey esgetti
ng
war m witht ears.Hisey esmetmi nehebeamed
atmysi ghtandsai dsomet hingtothegir
lthen
wheel edhi msel ft
omydi recti
onIwipedmy
tearsqui cklyasIwai tforhim.
PK:
“Hel
l
o”hesmi
l
ed
Me:
“Hey
”
PK:
“Youl
ookr
avi
shi
ng”Ibl
ushed
Me:
“Thanksy
ouar
enotbady
our
sel
f
PK:
“Howar
eyou?
”
Me:
“I
m goody
ou?
”
PK:
“Imi
ssy
ou”
Me: “
Imissy
out oo”Welookedateachother
foramoment .“
Sheiswait
ingforyoui
twas
niceseei
ngyouPhakamani”Isaidmaki
ngmy
waybuthegraspedmyar m
PK:“I
tsnotwhatyout
hinki
tisbaby
.I'
m backi
n
businessnowsheismyPAsheneededt hej
ob
sthandwasami”
Me:“Sheisbeautifulwi
thnoscr at
chinherface
andshei snotwear i
ngascar fwhichmeansshe
gotnoscar sormar kstohideIguessthe
probl
em waswi t
hmet hecoldhuge
unattr
acti
vebitch”heclampedhi seyesshut
andbr eat
hedoutl oudl
ythenlookedatme.
PK:
“Ki
tKatI
m sor
ry.
..
”
Me:“Youdon'
thavet
oexplainyour
selfweare
nottoget
heranymor
e.Thereonlyt
hingthat
connectusnowisourchi
ldr
en”
PK:
“Ki
tKat
”heki
ssedmyhand“
Iwi
shIcan
rev
erseever
ythi
ng.I'
m sorrypleasecomeback
tome.I'
m okaynowIdon' tfeelthatanger
anymoreIsti
l
ldon'tknowwher edi dIgetthat
angerf
rom.I'
m seeingapsy chologistandI
mustsaythesessi
onsar ehelping”
Me:“
Goodfory
outhen.Her
ecomesy
our
gi
rl
fr
iendl
etmego”
PK:“
Sheisnotmygir
lf
ri
endIcanf
ir
eherke
babyift
hatwhaty
ouwant”
“
Hell
o”ThatwasSiy
amthanda,shesmi
l
ed
wi
del
yshowinghergol
dteeth
Me:
“Hi
”Iwor
emymi
l
li
ondol
arpr
etencesmi
l
e
Si
ya:
“Youmustbehi
sKi
tKat
”
Me:“Yeahandy oumustbeSamant ha”of
coursethatwasonpur poseIwantedhert
o
knowt hatIgiv
enoshitabouther.I
nfactwhy
am Iactingl
ikeajeal
ousgirl
fr
iendweare
thr
oughmossi gh!
Si
ya:
“NoSi
yamt
handa.
..ni
cet
ofi
nal
l
ymeety
ou
hi
sKit
Kat.Heisal
waysonandonabouty
ou.I
mustsayyouareonel
uckyl
ady
”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”
Siya:
“Pl
easur
emydear..
.Dlakadl
athebr
idei
s
abouttomakeherent
ranceshallwego”
Dlakadl
amyleftl
i
mpingf oot!
Me:“
Excusemeguys”Iwalkedawaybefor
ethey
sai
danythi
ngt
ear
sblindi
ngmysi ght
.Ibumped
i
ntoDad.
Dad:“Heywhat '
swrong”IshookmyheadI
couldn'
tspeakIhadahugel umponmythr
oat
.
“Shhhitsokaytalkt
odaddy ”hesai
dpul
l
ingme
tohisembr ace.
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbef
ine”
Dad:
“Whatdi
dhedo?Di
dhehur
tyou?
”
Me:
“Iwi
shIdidn'
tcomebackseei
nghi
mit
maki
ngithar
dforme”
Dad:“
Ohsweet
yI'
m sorr
yIunder
standbuty
ou
wil
lbeal
ri
ghtt
akeyourti
me.”Hepull
edme
backandwi pedmyt earswit
hhisthumbsthen
ki
ssedmyf orehead.“Dontcrymychil
ddaddy
hateitwheny oucr
y”Ismiled“Comelet'
sget
i
nside”
Me:
“Wher
eisLami
”
Dad:“Therewi thyourmom”Wel ookedatMama
whowashol di
ngLami '
shand.Theywer e
maki ngtheirwayt othechapelthensuddenl
y
Lami y
ankedhi shandof fandranoff.Mom was
call
inghi m buthekeptrunningIwasst i
l
l
bewi l
deredbyt hatunti
lIsawLindsaymeet i
ng
him halfway .Theyhuggedeachot her.“
Whoi s
thatgirlnow”
Me:
“Li
ndsaywhat
..
whati
sshedoi
ngher
e?”
Dad:
“Wai
tthatLi
ndsay
?”
Me: “
Ye..
.”Ipausedasheappearedlooki
ng
dishyinamar oonsuitmyhear
tskippedabeat
.
“Muzi”Iwhisperedhewalkedt
owar dsmewit
h
asmi leonhisface.
Dad:
“Huh?
”
Muz
i:
“Gr
eet
ingsMrSi
thol
e”
Dad:
“Hey
”
Muzi:
“I
'm MuzomuhleXabaImety ourdaught
er
i
nCapeTownaf terlooki
ngforheral
lthese
year
sI'
mt heguythatfoundherunconsci
ous
year
sback”
Dad:“
Nicetomeetyousont hanksf
orwhatyou
di
d”theyshookhands.Thendadgav eushi
s
spacewegazedateachot her
Muz
i:“
Hel
l
o”
Me:
“Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e”
Muz
i;“
CanIgetmyhugpl
ease”Wehugged
Me:
“Howdi
dyouknowy
ouwi
l
lfi
ndmeher
e”
Muzi:
“Whati
mportanti
sthatIf
oundy oulet
's
geti
n”Hekissedmycheekbeforetakingmy
handtohi
s.Wemadeourwayi nsi
dePK' seyes
pi
ercedonourjoi
nedhands.Weall
stoodupas
thebri
dewasaboutt oenter.Theweddi ngwent
verywellt
hei
rv owswer esobeaut i
fult
hatI
cri
ed.PKwasst eali
ngglancesatme
thr
oughouttheev ent.Itwasabeaut if
ul
weddingIhav eev eratt
endednoI '
ml yi
ngIhave
neveratt
endedaweddi ngbef ore.Itwassosad
toseethem leavingfortheirhoney moon.“That
wasal ongbeaut i
fuldayweshal lgonow”
Me:
“Thanky
ouf
orcomi
ng”
Muz i
:“Doesthatmeanyoumi
ssedme?
”I
chuckl
edandandshookmyheadhepouted.
“Ahwelllet
'smeleaveke”
Me:
“Ther
e'sabr
aai
don'
tyouwantt
oli
nger
?”
Hey
awnedt
ear
scomi
ngoutofhi
sey
es
Muzi
:
“Imtir
edbabywedi
dn'
tfl
ywedr
oveher
e”
Hewipedhi
stear
s
Me:“Tjoyoumustbeti
red.
..Leav
eLindsay
behindtheki
dsarest
il
lhappytoseeeach
other”
Muzi
:“
Okay..
comewalkmet omycar”We
wal
kedoutheopenedthedoorforme“GetinI
wi
ll
dri
v ey
oubackIjustwantt
ochill
wit
hy ou
t
omorrowwear el
eavi
ng”
Me:
“Oh”okayt
hatki
ndahur
tme
Muz
i:
“Younotgonnaaskmewhy
?”
Me:“Nah”hechuckledIgotinhiscarthenhe
wenttohi ssi
de.Itwasalr
eadydarkyouknow
howwi nteri
sbutt i
mewasar ound6o'clock.
Thedrivewasf i
l
ledwi t
hnormalconversati
on.
Wear r
ivedatthehot el
Isatdownont hecouch
rest
ingmyl egsonit.
Muz
i:
“I
m comi
ngor
dersomet
hing”
Hedisappear
edasIdidashesai d.Whi l
eIwas
wait
ingforhi
m andthefoodIwat chedsome
TVwhi chwasbori
ngasf uck.Hecamebacki n
asweatpantsonlyandsockshisdi shybody
exposed.
Justbyl
ooki
ngathi
m If
eltmy
sel
fget
ti
ngwet
.
“St
opmol esti
ngmewi t
hyourey
esMi ssKi
ck
bal
ls”Igi
ggledbit
ingmyli
p.Hesatnextt
ome
andmademer estmylegsonhi
slaps.
Me:“
IthoughtIwi
l
lnev
erseey
ouagai
n”he
l
ookedatmeandsmi l
ed
Muzi:
“Doesthatmeanmypr
esencei
nyourl
i
fe
hasaneffectonyou?
”
Me:“Whydidyoul
eavemelikethatMuzi
.You
nevercal
ledmeatl
eastj
usttoknowyouare
okay.It
houghtmaybesomethi
nghappenedto
you”
Muz i
:
“Im sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeantoworryyoudon't
crypl
ease”Ididn'
tevenr
eali
zedIwascryi
ng.
Thefoodcamehewentt ogetitweatet
ogether,
himfeedingme.“Doyoufor
givemeforl
eaving
you?”
Me:
“Iwantt
oknowwhy
?”
Muz i
:
“It
scol
dint
hef
ri
endzonebutever
y
passi
ngsecondy
ouwerepl
ast
eredonmindl
i
ke
aglue.Icoul
dn'tstayawayfr
om youanymore
henceI'
m here.I'
m sosorr
yThandil
eplease
for
giveme”
Me:“
It
scool
Iunder
standwhenwi
l
lIseey
ou
agai
n?”
Muz i:
“Mmmhsomeonedoesn'twantmetogo”
Ilookeddownhel i
ft
edmychi
nwithhi
s
foref
inger“
Ifyouwantmet
ostayabitl
onger
youcansayi tMissS”
Me:
“Soy
oucanst
ayl
onger
?”Hel
aughed
Muz
i:
“Unepr
ideneh”(
Youhav
eapr
ide)
Me:
“NoIdon'
t”
Muzi
:“
Whati
shar
dphot
oaskmet
ost
ay
ni
cel
y”
Me:
“Mxm y
oucangoke”
Muzi
:“Ngi
zoyi
qedany
al epr
idey
akhowat
ch
andsee”Irol
l
edmyey es
Me:
“Mamai
sal
one?
”
Muzi
:“Nowel
eftherwit
hhersist
er”hesai
d
massagi
ngmyfeetitf
eltsogood.
Me:“
YouareGodsentIneededthatmassage”I
moanedsoft
lyshutti
ngmyeyes.If
elthi
swarm
mouthonmybi gtoeandopenedmyey eshe
l
ookedatmesucki ngonmybigtoe“AAhhh”
Muz i
:“YouaremadeoutofsugarMi ssSyour
fl
eshi ssweet.”hesuckedonmybi gtoefixi
ng
hiseyesonmeIbi t
emyl ip.Hesli
ther
edhisli
ps,
trai
li
ngwetkissesf r
om myf eetuptomyt hi
ghs.
Hewentundermydr essbetweenmyt hi
ghsI
felthim ni
ppingonmynunov erthepanti
es
sendingelect
ricsparks.
Hel ookedupatmeandt ookmylipsbetween
hissoftli
ps,
sandwichi
ngmyl i
pswithhis.I
moanedi nhismouthcuppi nghisf
ace.Hi sl
ips
escapedmyl i
psandt r
aveledtomyneck
nippingandsucki
ngoni tsparksshotupmy
spine.
Het
ookof
fmydr
esst
henmybr
aexposi
ngmy
body.“ Youhav eabeaut i
fulbodyMi ssS”he
caressedeachanev er
ypartofmybodywhi le
ki
ssingmyl i
ps.Hiswar mt ouchagai nstmyski n
sendbut t
erfl
iesthroughmybody .Hesqueez ed
mybr eastwithhishandsandt ookmyal ready
swollenni pplebetweenhi swar mlips,sucki ng
andni ppingoni tIletoutawhi mperhegav ethe
otherni ppleatt
entiontooIwassoaki ngwet
alr
eadyhepl acedsl ow,gentlekissesont he
spacebet weenmyboobsdownt omyst omach
zeroi
ngonmynav el.Hebi t
emyki ttyovert he
pantiesbef oretaki
ngi toutwi t
hhist eeth
exposi ngmybal dsmoot hpussy .
“Hell
othere”Hel i
ckedhislipsandsighed
bli
ssful
l
ybef oredriv
inghistoungeintome.He
l
ickedmeci rculat
inghistoungearoundmy
cli
tor
istor
turouslybuil
dinguphispace.I
yankedhisheadur ginghimt oshovehistounge
deeper,i
noutofme.
Me:”
Ahhhhhh”Igr
owledl
oudasthewav
eof
pl
easur
eroll
edoverme.i
twascoming,
closer
,
cl
oserhestopped“Muuzzi!”Ir
aspedhe
chuckl
edandjerkeddownhi spantstogether
wit
hhisbri
efshiscocksprangfreelylooki
ng
hugeandpulsi
ngIgaspedwi thshock.Iswear
hegotasizeofanarm wher ewil
lheputt hi
s
enormouscock.Hegotbet weenmeandspr ead
mylegs“Uzoyi
fakakuphilengal
oy akho?”
(Wherewil
lyouinser
tthatarm)Hegi ggled
Muz
i:
“Iwi
l
lbegent
ly”hef
ixedhi
sey
esonme
Me:“HayiMuziangi
nay oimboboezonela
l
engalongishonomlomowami uzodabuka”(No
Muzi Idon'
thaveaholethatcanfi
tthatarm
evenmymout hwil
ltearapar
t)
Hel aughedthrowinghisheadbackhet houghtI
wasj oki
ng.“Yazinqhubekanolimiboy”(You
knowwhatcar r yonwi t
hthetounge)It
riedto
getupbuthepr essedmedownIf el
thim
enteri
ngslowlyIscr eamed.
Muz
i:
“I
m sor
ryIwi
l
lbegent
lyIpr
omi
se”
Me:
“Ha.
naMuzi
.”Hemov
edsl
owl
yandsl
owl
yI
feltl
ikemywal lswerecracki
ng.Themor ehe
keptmov ingthepainstart
edwearingoff
pleasuretookov er
.Heflexedhi
ships,pumpi
ng
i
nt omehar deranddeeperIscreamedhi s
namenowIwant edmor eandful
lofhim.Damn
i
tsbeenawhi leandItwasunbeli
ev abl
y
amazi nghewentf ast
eranddeeper
Muzi:
“Ahhhfuck!”sl
appingsoundsand
scr
eamsofpl easurefi
ll
edthelivi
ngroom.He
wit
hdrewhimselfandmademehol dthecouch
ashehititf
rom theback,sinki
ngdeepintome
whil
espankingmybut t“Fuckyouaresooo
good,soheavenlygood.Iwantallofthi
sforme
onl
ybaby!Aahhhshi t
t!
”
Me: “Ah..
ha..ahohy es”Iscr
eamedloudl
yasI
reachmyf i
rstorgasm.Hepul l
edoutand
pickedmeupwewentt othebedr
oom helaid
meont heedgeoft hebedandhel dupmyl egs
thatmyankl eswer eathisshoul
ders.Hegl
ided
i
nt omel ockinghisey esonme.
Muz i
:“
Sssss”Hewi
ncedwit
hpleasur
eIwas
expecti
nghimtomovebuthesti
ll
ed.
Me:
“Muzi
i
i”Ipl
eaded
Muz
i:
“Whatmyl
ove”hesmi
rked
Me:“Move”Ibuckedmyhi psurgi
nghim and
thatdr
ovehim crazyheplunder
edintomethatI
sobbedwithdeli
ghtmywhol ebodyshuddered
withpl
easureasIexplodeduponor gasm
numbertwo.hecameaf terme.
Muzi:
“Thatwasfuckingawesomedammn!”He
cat
chedhisbreat
h“ DidIhur
tyou?
”hel
ookedat
mewor ri
ed
Me:“No”Hewi pedmyt ear
sthenwit
hdraw
himself
.Hewentt othebathr
oom andcame
backhewi pedmewi thawarm damptowel
thenwipedhimself
.Aftert
hatwecuddledunder
covers.
Muzi
:“
Thatwasamazi
ngIwanttokeepyou
f
orev
erandIwil
ldowhat
everi
tstaket
omake
youmi ne.Youwerebor
nformewenaandme
foryou.”Hekissedmyfor
eheadIwasalr
eady
dozi
ngof fIneededanapaft
erthatgr
eat
serv
icing.
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Ihavenev erseensuchabeaut i
fulwedding
evenonTV.I twasagr eatweddingshameI
hopet hei
rmar ri
agewill
staybeauti
full
i
ket hei
r
wedding.Itwasar ound7pm wewer ehav i
nga
braaiattheSithol
eResidence.Themenwer e
outsi
debr aai
ngmeatwhi l
ethewomenwer e
i
nsidet hehouse.
Iwenttocheckonmybabyout si
deIfheisstil
l
okayandIalsowant
edt ogetawayf r
om Palesa
yangbhor
alomtanabakit
hi.Yazyouwi l
lswear
sheis"Makoti
"kaMjarggmaan.Hesawme
andcamet omewithagl assofwhiskeyinhi
s
hand
Logan:
“Baby
”
Me:
“Ar
eyoust
il
lokay
?”
Logan:“
Yesloveyourf
amil
yisact
ual
lycool
exceptMj I
'
m star
ti
ngtogett
ir
edofhissni
de
comment s”
Me:
“Dontmi
ndhi
m babyhei
snast
y”
Logan:
“Noonegettobenast
yaroundmeand
getawaywit
hitIki
ckassbadl
y”Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
“I
m sor
rymybabyIwi
l
ltal
ktohi
m”
Logan:
“Youwi
l
lgowi
thmer
ightImi
ssy
ou?
”
Me:“YesImi
ssy out
oo”Iwrappedmyarms
aroundhi
swaistandki
ssedhischeek“
Ilov
e
youLoganWebber”
Logan:
“Lov
eyout
oof
utur
eMr
sWebber
”I
gri
nned
Me:“
Letmegoi nsi
decal
lmewheny ouneed
anyt
hing”Henoddedandki
ssedmylipst
hen
wenttojoi
nother
s.Iwal
kedbacki
nsidet
he
houseandsatnexttoLiy
abongawhowas
si
ppingonherci
der.Everyonewashav
ing
dri
nks.
Li
yabonga:
“Whatabouty
oudon'
tyoudr
ink”
“
Her
eiti
s”ThatwasMj
walki
ngi
nwi
thagl
ass
“
Imi
xeditt
hewayyoul
ikei
t”
Mom:
“Whati
sthat
?”
Mj
:
“Whi
skey
”
Mom:“Aydon'tgi
veher
”Ieyedherhowdi
d
she.
..
Ifor
gotsheisaprophet
.
Kuhl
e:“
Hai
boMawhyThandol
oveal
cohol
”
Mom:
“Shewi
l
lhav
ejui
ce”
Kuhl
e:“
OhmyGodsheispregnanti
sn'
tshe?
”
Ever
yonel
ookedatmeIl
ookeddown.
Gogo:“
Shecan'tshei
sgoingtoschoolnext
year
”IlookeddownIdidn'
tl
iket
histopi
catall
AuntySwe:“
DoesLoganknowmychi
l
d”I
noddedtear
sfor
minginmyeyes
Shar
on:“
Yourf
atheri
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lyoushame”
shesi
ponherwine
Li
yabonga:“
Aft
erIssyhaski
ll
edher
”Shesaid
l
aughing.Tr
ustthi
sgirl
tofi
ndever
ythi
ngasa
j
oke.
Mj l
ookedatmeIr anupstair
stearsblocki
ng
myv isi
on.OhGodnowev eryoneknowandt hey
aregoingtotell
SisKatawj eso!Iwipedmy
tearsandlookedmy sel
finthemi rr
or.Icouldn't
recognisethi
sgirl
thatwasst ari
ngrightbackat
me.Howwi ll
Ili
vewiththi
ssecr etmay be
MommyQueenal r
eadyknow.
“Congratul
ati
ons”Itur
nedandlookedathim he
wasst andi
ngont hedoorhishandstuckedin
hispants.Me:“Thankyou”Hesighedand
walkedclosetomehegazedatme“ I
sitmine
i
sn't?
”
Me:
“Noi
tsLogan'
s”
Mj:
“Youar
ely
ingIcanseeitinyourey
esthi
s
babyismi
neisn'
tThando?”Ishookmyhead“I
wi
l
lasky
ouonel
astt
imei
tsmi
ner
ight
?”
Me:
“Ye.
.y
es”Iwhi
sper
edandl
ookeddown
Mj
:
“Howf
arar
eyou”
Me:
“4weeks”
Mj
:
“Whendi
dyouf
indout
?”
Me:
“Twoweeksback”
Mj:
“Andy
oukeptthatf
rom me?Whenwer
eyou
goi
ngtotel
lme?
”heshouted
Me:
“Don'
tshoutpl
easecal
m..
.”
Mj:“
Calm down?Youwantmet ocal
m down
thatyouwantedt
ogiveyourwhit
eboymybaby
huhThando??”
Me:
“Iwasgoi
ngt
otel
lyouMj
”
Mj:
“Namangamaan!
”(Youar
ely
ing)Ij
umped
upabit
.Hewassoangry
Me:“
Im sor
ryMj
Iwasscar
edt
haty
ouwon'
t
bel
i
eveme”Icri
ed
Mj:
“Ican'
tbel
i
eveyourightnowyou.
.y
o..
nx!
”he
t
urnedtowalkoutIgr
abbedhisarm
Me:“Ngi
yaxol
isabandl
aMj ”(
I'
m sor
ryMj)I
sobbedhesighedandlookedme“ I
mreall
y
sorr
yJobe”
Mj :
“Ihat
ewhaty oudoi ngt
omebuti t
'shurtt
o
seey oucry.Ican'
tbearwatchi
ngy oucryi
ngso
pleasedon'tcryit
'sokayIgeti
t”Hewipedmy
tearswithhisthumbs
Me:“
NgiyasabaMjangikazengi
sabekanj
e
empil
weniyami.Si
sKati sgoi
ngtoki
llme”(I
'
m
scar
edMj Ihaveneverbeenscar
edli
kethati
n
mylif
e.)
Mj:“Dontbescar edI'
m her eforyou.Wewillt
ell
I
ssyt ogetherorIwil
ltellhermy self
.Wegoing
toraisethisbabytogetherIwi l
lalwaysbeher
e
foryouandourbabydon' tbescar ed
Thandolwami ”Ohthosewor dsmademesmi l
e
Me:
“Your
eal
l
ymeant
hat
?”
Mj :
“YesIam af at
hert obe”hesangt helast
partanddancedabi tIgi ggled“ Thanky ou
MaSi biya”hewi pedmyt ears“ Stopcr yingnow
youar eupset ti
ngmypr incess”Hecuppedmy
faceandpl antedapeckonmyf or ehead.Ihel d
hiswr istsandclosedmyey esasheki sshi s
waydownt omyl ips.Ididn'thesi tateIki ssed
him wi thsomuchhungerwr appingmyar ms
aroundhi sneck.Hepul ledmecl oset hatIwas
pressedagai nsthisbodyhi shandsgr abbing
myassImoanedsof t
ly.Hepi ckedmeupI
clampedmyl egsaroundhi swai stheshuf fl
ed
towar dst hebedandl aidusgent lyintensifyi
ng
thekiss.“ Imissyou”hi sey esgl azedwi th
desire
Me: “
Imi ssyoutoo”Heki
ssedmeagainhis
toungedanci ngi
nmymout hwhil
ehepinched
myni pple.Mywholebodyti
ngl
ewith
excit
ement .Heputmyleftl
egonhisshoul
der
andent eredmeslowly“
Ahhhh”hebuckedhis
hips.
“Whatthef
ucki
sthi
s!!
”RoaredLoganwhoI
don'
tknowwhendidhegethere
Me: “Ohmyba..
.”
Withi
nasecondhewas
grabbingMjf
rom methenpunchedhi
m“ Logan
stopitmaanyouarehurt
inghi
m!”Mj'
sli
pbled
i
instantl
y
Logan:“
Idon'tgi
veafuck!
!!
”Het hr
ewanot
her
punchMj gr
owledl
oudlyever
yonebur
sti
nto
myr oom whataSwiss!Lor
dtakemenow
pl
ease
[
06/
02,
19:
37]W:
96
THANDOKUHLE
•
“Whatisgoingonher e!
”screamedgr andma
Ndoniyamanziasshepul l
edLoganawayf rom
Mj whowasbut tnakedcoveringhismanhood
withhishandsassoonashenot i
cedt hat
everyonehasentered.Thelookstheywer e
givi
ngmeI m suretheyput2and2t ogetheras
ourcl ot
heswerescatt
eredont hefl
oor
.I
want edthegr
oundtoopenupandswal l
owme
thi
swassomor ti
fyi
ng.Ipressedmyknees
againstmybreastIcouldn'
tmov eandIwas
gri
bbedbyaf eelofmortifi
cati
on.
Logan:“If
oundt hi
st wofucking!”her oaredin
angerlookingatmewi t
hhisnowr edeyes.He
wasshaki ngandbl oodredal loverhisface“ I
alwaysknewt hatthere'
ssomet hingabouty ou
Mj.Youal waystreatedmel ikeshi tnowIknow
youwant edherallalong!TakeherIgi veherto
you!Asf oryouThandoIt r
ustedy ou,Il
oved
youandy oubrokemyhear tinmi lli
onpieces”
Hewi pedhisflowingtearswi t
ht hebackofhi s
hands“ I
tsapityyouar ecarryi
ngmychi l
dI
neverwantt oseey ouagain!”
Mj:
“Fort
unatelyforyoumyguysheiscarr
ying
mybabysof usegandfokof
”hespitbl
oodwhile
get
tingdressed.Every
onescreamedwit
hshock.
Logan:
“Thando”
Me:
“I
m sor
ryLogan”Isobbed
Logan:
“Al
lthi
sti
meyouhavebeenly
ingtome
howcouldyoubesocr
uel!
!”Hi
seyeswerefi
ll
ed
wit
hpainitbr
okemyhear
ttobethecausefor
hi
spain.
Me:“I
m sor
ry”Iwhi
sper
edt
ear
sfal
l
ingonmy
knees
Hewantedtosaysomethi
ngbutwor dscoul
dn'
t
comeoutheyankedhimsel
ffrom gr
andmaand
walkedout
.Li
yabongabur
stintol
aughter
Liy
a:“I
'm ahoeIsleeparoundIknowt hatbut
yougirlyouar
etheboss.Youf uckyourbaby
daddywhi l
eyourboy f
ri
endisout si
dewow.
Any waycongr
atul
at i
onsMj Ican'tbel
i
eveyou
goingtobeaf at
her”
“Whaaat
?”askedPaleasshemadeherwayi n.
Whatisshedoingherethi
sisnotherhouseshe
can'
tbewalki
ngallovertoourbedr
ooms.
Mj
:
“BabyIcanexpl
ain.
”Pal
esai
mmedi
atel
yran
outMj
ranaf
terher
.
Gogo:“
Idontknowwhatt osay
”sheli
ft
edher
handsupinsurrenderandwal
kedout
AuntySwe:“Met oo”shewalkedouttofol
lowed
byAuntyLuyanda, Si
hle,
Liyabonga,
Kuhleand
Yol
andal eavi
ngMamabehi ndwhowasboi li
ng
wit
hangerherf acehadturnedvermil
ion
i
nstant
ly.
Me:“
Im sor
ryMama”shewal
kedt
owar
dst
he
bedandlookedatme
Mom: “
Idon'tknowifIshouldbemadt hatyou
disr
espectedmyhouseorIshoul dbemadt hat
youaresti
llplayi
ngthesebothboysaftert
he
damagey oual r
eadydid!
”shescreamed
Me:
“Ngi
yaxol
i
sa”(
I'
m sor
ry)
Mom: “Thatall
youknownyory
!Youdon'tl
i
sten
Thandoy oudoasy oupl
easethensaysor
ry!
Ny or
yukunuka!”Shepul
l
edmyear stwi
sti
ng
them causinganexcr
uci
ati
ngpain
Me:“
OuuuhIm sor
rypl
easef
orgi
veme”I
scr
eamedinpain
Mom: “I
tcl
earthatt heseearsdon'twantto
l
ist
enIwi l
lteacht hem howt ofuncti
on”she
t
ightenhergri
pIswearIf eltl
i
keshei spul
li
ng
myear sof
f.Icriedwi ggli
ngmy sel
f“Youdon't
l
ist
enwena!Youdon' tknowwhatareearsfor
youletmeremi ndy ou”
Me:"
Ahhhhh”Iscreamedi nangui
sh.Shefinall
y
l
etgoofmyear sandcl i
ckedhertoungeasshe
wal
kedout.Icouldn'
tfeelmyearstheywer e
numbIrubbedthem withmyhandseasi ngthe
bur
ningsensat
ion.
Whataday ,whatwasIt hi
nki
ngsl eepingwit
h
Mj whil
eLoganwasher eoutsi
de.Thepai nI
sawi nLogan'seyeshewi l
lneverf orgi
veme
andIdeser vethat
.Ihurthi
m bey ondwor ds
couldexplainhowIwi shItol
dthet r
uthfr
om
thefi
rstplacelooknowev eryt
hingi samess.I
fi
nall
ydraggedmy sel
fupandpi ckedupmy
cl
othesthenpul l
edar obe.Iwenttothe
bathr
oom wher eItookal ongassbathlett
ing
outmyt earstofall
.AfteralongbathIdri
edand
worear obe.Ishuff
ledt omybedroom andf i
nd
KuhleandSi hl
etheylookedatmewi t
hpityeyes.
Sihl
e:“
Im sor
rybabygi
rl
”Isatdownbet
ween
them
Me:
“Thanky
ou”Iwhi
sper
edt
ear
sfal
l
ingonmy
f
ace
Kuhle:
“IthoughtwegoteachotherThandoas
si
sters.Whathappenedtoshari
ngwi t
husyou
wouldn'thavefi
ndyour
selfi
nthissi
tuati
on”
Me:“MommyQueenknowsIt oldherbutIdi
dn'
t
l
ist
ent oheradv ice.Im sostupidandbit
chy!
aahhh”Iscreamedi nfrust
rati
on“ HowcanIbe
sostupidandsl uttyIhavenev erfel
tso
embar r
assedliket hati
nmyl i
fe.HowcouldI
hurtLoganlikethishel oveme”
Si
hle:
”Whatabouty
ou?Doy
oul
ovehi
m?”
Me:
“YesIdol
ovehi
m”
Sihl
e:“
Butyoucheat
edonhim wit
hMj Thando
moreoverli
edaboutt
hepat
ernit
yofthechil
d
youcallt
hatlov
e?Youdest
royedthepoorguy
shameman”
Me: “
IknowInev ermeanttohur thim.Icouldn't
controlmy sel
fIt ri
edbeli
ev emebuti twashard.
IlovedMj thef i
rstt
imeIsawhi m buthewas
neverinterested,henevernoticedI'mi nt
ohim
thathei nt
roducedmet ohisthousand
girl
fr
iends.Iwassohear t
brokenIdeci dedtol
et
him beandmov eon.ThemomentIwashappy
withLoganheconf essedhisfeeli
ngsf ormethe
feeli
ngsIt houghtIburi
edf orhim surf
acedI
couldn'tholdmy self
”
Kuhl
e:“
Tjodoy
oul
oveLogan?
”
Me:
“Yes”
Si
hle:
“Mj
?”
Me:
“YesIdo”
Kuhle:
“Youcan'
tl
ovet
wopeopl
eatt
hesame
Thando”
Me:“Wel
l IdosisKuhle.Loganmakemehappy
andhelov eme, Il
ovehim.Ialsolov
eMj hei
s
dri
vi
ngmecr azyhistouchsendbutter
fl
iesto
mybody .Hemakemel oseallmysenses.If
ind
i
thardtor esi
sthim whenhehol dmeIwanthi m
toholdmef oreveri
nhisar ms”
Sihl
e:“
Youdon'tloveLoganThandoi t
sclear
now.Hehappenedt obetherewhenMj never
gaveyouwhaty ouwant ed.Idon'tknowwhati s
theri
ghtwor dtouseinEnglish.Logan
ebewumt hobanhli
ziyo”Iguessshei sri
ghtif
onlyIdidsoulsear
chingjustli
kemom sai dnon
ofthi
swoul dhavehappened.
Thedoorbur
stopenSisKatwalkedinmyheart
ski
ppedabeat.Il
ookedathersear
chingi
fthey
alr
eadyt
oldherornot.
Kat
:“
Gir
ls”
Us:
“Hey
”
Sihl
e:“
Whereareyoucomingfrom heee
unemikhubawena”Theyall
laughed.She
walkedtousandsatdownnextt ous.She
l
ookedatmeI '
m sureshesawmyr edfaceand
tear
s
Kat:“
Thandowhati swrong”Theyhav en'
tt old
her.Thatopenedthetaps“ Sihl
e,Kuhlewhati s
i
sgoi ngonwhyi sshecrying?”Theydidntr epl
y
Iguesstheywantedmet obet heonetot ellher
.
“Comeonguy s”Isenseat oneofimpatience
andwor r
yinherv oi
ce
Me:
“Si
sI'
m sor
ry”shel
ookedatmeper
plexed
Kat
:“
Thandot
alkt
omepl
ease”
Me:”
Im..
I'
m..
I'
m pregnantbyMj
'
sbaby
”she
l
aughedli
kereal
lylaughed
Kat
:“
Not
hatwasaj
oker
ight
?”Icr
iedhar
der
Kuhle:
“Nosisit'
str
ue.Shemadeami stake
pleasecalm downokay”Iexpect
edSisKatto
scream att
hetopofhervoicebutshejustf
roze
herlowerl
i
pshi
ver
edherey
esgl
i
stenedwi
th
tear
s.
Me:“
Saysomet hi
ngsis”shestooduptowal
k
awayIgraspedherarm.“Ngi
yaxoli
sasi
s”(I
'
m
sor
ry)shegentl
yfreedherar
m onmyhandand
madeherwayoutl eavi
ngmei ntear
s.
Si
hle:
“Shhdon'
tcr
yshewi
l
lcomear
ound”she
pul
l
edmet oherchest
.
Me:
“Shehat
emesi
sSi
hle”
Kuhle:
“NonsenseIssylov
ey outoomuchshe
wil
lneverhateyouIm suresheisdi
sappoi
nted.
Letmegot alktoher”shestoodupandwalked
out.
Sihl
e:“
Every
thi
ngi
sgoingt
obeokaywear
e
hereforyounomatt
erwhat
”
Me:“
Thankyousi
sthat
'smeansal
ott
ome.Can
youexcusemeIwantt
obealone”
Si
hle:
”Dontdosomethi
ngstupidit
snott
heend
oft
hewor l
d”Inoddedshekissedmyfor
ehead
andstoodupbeforemakingherwayout .Igot
upandwor epj
sthensli
ppedi ntocovers.Itook
myphoneandcal l
edLoganhewasnot
answeringmycal
lsIl
efthimt onsofmessages
thentossedmyphoneonasi de.Icouldn'
tstop
cryi
ngmyheartwassore.Ifeltthebedmov ing
thenarmswrappi
ngaroundme.
Me:
“Youar
esmel
l
ingherscentgetawayf
rom
me”
Mj
:
“Comeondon'
tbel
i
ket
hat
”
Me:
“Your
anof
ftoherandl
eftmeher
eal
one
Mj
!”
Mj:
“WhatwasIsupposetodoThando, Pal
esa
di
dn'
tdeservetofi
ndoutli
kethi
s.Itbr
eakmy
hear
ttobethesourceofherhear
tachenawe
nj
eyoushouldhavetol
dme”It ur
nedaround
andlookedathi
m.
Me:
“Sowhathappensnow”
Mj
:
“Shewi
l
lfor
giv
emeshehav
etof
orgi
veme.I
can'
thavehermadatmeI t
skil
li
ngme.Palesa
havebeengreattomeshedoesn'
tdeser
vethi
s”
Myheartshatt
eredi
ntopi
eces
Me:“
Ishouldhaveknowny ouwon'
tkeepyour
pr
omi semxm!”Itur
nedt othet
heothersi
debut
hestoppedmeandl ookedatme
Mj:
“Idon'
tknowwhatarey
ouonaboutcozI
haven'
tchangeI
'
m sti
l
lgoi
ngt
obeherewith
youandourdaught
er”
Me:
“AndPal
esa?
”
Mj:
“Shehavet
ounderst
andthatyouar
ethe
motherofmydaught
erandIwil
lalway
sbewit
h
youwhenyouneedme”ouch
Me:
“SoI
'
mjusty
ourbabyMama”
Mj:
“Hai
boThandoam Imi
ssi
ngsomet
hing
her
e”
Me:
“WowIcan'
tbel
i
evey
ouMj
getoutofmy
r
oom!”
Mj
:
“Whyar
eyoumadatmeIcan'
tremember
sayi
ngweareinarel
ationshi
pyouchosehi
m
ThandoIdon'
tunder
standnowwhyy ouare
mad”
Me:
“Butyouwerewil
l
ingt
ofuckmeIf
eel
li
ke
I
'myourcheapbabyMama”
Mj:“
Youdon'tgetitdoyou?Iloveyougir
lbut
youchosehim ov ermeIhadtoacceptthaty
ou
wil
lneverbemi neeventhoughItshar
dwhenI
seeyouIlosemymi ndIwanttoholdyouinmy
armsandnev erletyougo.
”
Me:“Not
hingi
sst
oppi
ngy
ounowMj
”he
chuckl
ed
Mj:“
Youar eonesel f
ishper sonIhav eev erknow
yaz.Iconfessedmyf eel
ingstoy ouandy ou
mademebel i
eveIwi llst
andachancet obe
withy ouonlytofindouty ouwer eusingme.I
don'tknowwhyt hehear twantwhatI tswant
evenwheni tsimpossi bl
et ogetit.It
ol dmy sel
f
Iwillbecommi tt
edt oPal esathatgir
l showed
menot hi
ngbutlov e.Nowt hatyouandLogan
arethroughyouwantme, youwantmet obe
yourreboundIwil
l neversi
s.Ilovey ousomuch
butIcan'tal
l
owy out omakemey ourpl ay
ground.Youcan'
thav eityourwayngabe
ugezekuphii
nkosi ”hegotupandwal kedout .I
burstint
otearst
het houghtofr eal
izingt hatI
l
ostthem bothkil
ledmysoul countlesst imes.
•
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Iwokeupwr appedinhi sar msmybody
pressedagainsthisitfeltsogoodIdon'twant
toli
et oyou.Ilookedathi sfaceheisr
eall
ya
perfecti
onofGod' screation.“
Star
ingi
srude”he
smiledandopenedhi sey es
Me:“
Ifsomethi
ngisbeaut
if
uly
oucan'
thel
pbut
st
are”hechuckl
ed
Muz
i:
“I
'm notgayIcan'
tbebeaut
if
ul”Il
aughed
Me:
“Hai
suka.
..
Ihav
etogonowr
ememberI
di
dn'
ti
nform any
onewher eam I
,I'
m sur
ethey
ar
eworri
ednow”Her emovedst
rapsofmyhai
r
onmyface.andlookedatme
Muzi:
“Thi
siswhatIcal
lbeaut
if
ul.Youar
e
bey
ondbeauti
ful
”
Me:
“Thanky
ou”Ibl
ushed
Muz i
:“
Thandil
ebeliev
emewhenIsayIl oveyou
okayIwon'tcauseharmt oy
ouIpr omi
seyou.
I
'm cl
eansor elax”Il
ookedathim wi
tharai
sed
browhowdi dheknowIwast hinki
ngthatwe
di
dn'tuseprotecti
on.
Me:
“Ar
eyouami
ndr
eader
?”
Muzi
:“Maybe”hesmirked“Soy
oubel
i
eveme
r
ight
?Wecangof orprooft
omorr
owi
fyouwant
t
obesatisfi
ed”
Me:
“I
m notcl
eankemi
na”Hel
aughed
Muz
i:
“Yeahr
ight
”
Me:“
Seri
ousIt
ri
edt
ost
opy
oubuty
oudi
dn'
t
l
ist
en”
Muz
i:
“Wel
lIdon'
tcar
ecozi
tsy
ou”
Me:
“Youar
ecr
azy
”
Muz
i:
“Cr
azyi
nlov
ewi
thy
ou”
Me:
“Soy
ouar
eleav
ingt
omor
row”
Muz
i:
“Youhav
en'
taskmeni
cel
yMi
ssS”
Me:“Nonkosi,
Mashwabadacany oul
ingerfor
fewdays”Hef l
ashedahugesmil
eandki ssed
medeepl y“
WowIguesst hatmeanyouar e
agree”
Muz i
:“
HowcanIsaynot oy ou”Heki ssedmy
nosethenstoodup.Hepi ckedmeupbr i
dal
styl
ehewentt othebathr
oom.Wehada
steamysessioni
nt heshower .Afterhygi
ene
processweloti
onedandgotdr essed.
Me:
“Cany
oupackanov
erni
ghtbagf
orLi
ndsay
”
Muz
i:
“Sur
ethi
ngbabe”
Me:
“Doesshehav
eal
l
ergi
es?
”
Muz
i:“
No”Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed
Me:
“What
?”
Muzi:
“Howisitpossi
blethatonecanhav
ei tal
l
.
Beaut
y,brai
ns,t
oughloveit'
ssofucki
ngsexy”
Hegrabbedmybut tIgasped.“
Wannadoy ou
now”
Me:
“Ha.
ababyIhav
etol
eav
e”
Muz
i:
“Zol
i
fakakancane”
Ilaughed
Me:“
Howispossi
blethatonecanhaveasizeof
anarm”hel
aughedthrowinghi
sheadback.
Muz i
:“
Youar ecrazyMi ssSandl oveyouyezwa
l
ov eyouevenmor e”Heplant edapeckonmy
l
ipsthenpackf orLindsay.IlovehowIfeel
whenI m ar
oundhi m.“Iwillcally
oubefor
ey ou
sleepmysweet heart”
Me:“
Iwil
lbewait
ing”Iki
ssedhi
slipst
henhe
wenttoopenf
ormydoor .Hepul
ledmecloseI
st
eppedoutwekissedpassi
onat
ely.“
Bye”
Muzi
:
“By
e”Hewatchedmegeti
nsi
detheyar
d.
Menwer
esti
l
lout
sideandbr
aai
ngthemeat
andt
alki
ngloudl
y.If
oundMamadr
inki
ngwat
er
i
nthekit
chen.
Mom:
“Wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
”
Me:
“Out
”shewal
kedt
owar
dsmeandsni
ff
ed
me
Mom: “Yousmell f
reshtheonl ywayonecan
bathisaf tersex”Ilookedatherandsaid
nothing“ Godwhati swr ongwithyouchil
dren!
Can'ty oukeepy ourlegsclosedforonce!You
arepr egnantforcryingoutloud!!
”
Me:“
Geecanwenotdothi
snow”Isai
dwal
ki
ng
awayshegr
abbedmyar
m
Mom:“Don'
tyoudar
ewal
kawaywhenI
'
m st
il
l
t
alki
ngtoyou!”
Me:“ Asy ousaidMamaI '
m pregnantsomehow
theitchhav etot akencareofonewayort he
other ”Sheslappedmehar dvisi
onstuddedwit
h
stars.Tearsaut omatical
l
yescapedf rom my
eyes
Mom: “
Souzohambauv ul
aindunuforwonke
amadodaohlangananawo!”(Youwil
lopen
pussyforev
erymany oumeet )
Me:“YesI'
m openi ngmypussywhatt hefussor
areweshar i
ngt hepussynow? ”Thatwasoutof
l
ineIknowIwassuppermadt hatsheslapped
mel i
keWTF.Andt hatst
atementearnedme
anotherhotclap“ JesusZesul
iwewhatt he
fuck!
”Igrowledr ubbingmybur ni
ngcheek
Mom: “Whatiswr ongwi thyouareyouhi gh?
Youcan'tspeakt omel ikeImy ourf
riend!I'
m
yourmot heryoubetterrespectme!Iwon' t
tol
eratewhoringinmyhouseNkosi sthandil
eif
youcan'ttakethatgetoutofmyhouse.You
can'tsl
eepwi t
hanot hermanwhi leyouar e
pregnantwithanotherman' sbaby!”
Me:“
WhatshouldIdoift
hatmansayI
'
m huge,
unat
tract
iveandcol
d”
Mom:“Hesai
dt hat
?”thatcameoutasa
whi
speraudi
bleenoughformetohear
Me: “YesMama.Iwon' tsither eandwai tforPK
mi nacomet ot hi
nkofi thehasnev ervalueme.
Ial way swor thlessi nhi slife.Hest art
edby
maki ngmehi ssi dechi ck,nowhemademehi s
punchi ngbag, insultingmeandbl ami ngmef or
hiscondi tionsay ingI 'm ahuge, col d
unat tractivebi tcht hathehi redpr ost i
tutes.I
foundhi mi nbedi nmyhousewi tht wo
prost it
ut esMama.Pr ostitutesthatl ef
thim
downont hef loorinpai nt hathemessed
himsel f.Guesswhocameandcl eanedhi m up?
Met hecol dhugeunat tractivebitch.Idi d
ev erythingf orhi m Mama.Icookedf orhim, I
bat hedhi m, Ididev er y
thingf orhi m guesswhat
I'
mt heonewhowasabusedbutt heexi sbeing
treatedni cely.Thathowl ittl
ehet hinkofmea
col dunat t
ractivebi tchandapunchi ngbag.Wel l
ther ear emenoutt herewhoseebeaut y,who
seeawomant heycanl ov echer ishandr espect,
i
nt hiscol dunat t
ract i
vebi tch!.
”Iwi pedmyt ear
s
vigor ousl y
Mom:
“OhbabeI
'
m sor
..
.”
Me: “NoMaI '
m sor ry,I'
m sorrythatI m whor i
ng
butpl easedon' ty oudar etel
lmet hatIcan't
sleepwi thanothermanwhi l
eI'm carryingPKs
childcozhedoesn' tcare!Hei sbusywi thhisex
girl
friendkumnandi kunjeafterthepai nheput
met hrough.If ailtounder standoutofal lthe
peopl edi dhehav et ogethi sexgi rl
fri
endt obe
hisPAl etaloneaskhert ocomewi thhimi nmy
brother '
sweddi ngwhi l
eont hesi dehei sasking
forasecondchancey ouknowt odayIcamet o
ar ealizati
ont hatPkandIandar enev erev er
get t
ingbackt oget herev eninthenextl ifetime!
Wear et hroughf orev er!”Iwipedmyt ear s
Mom:”Baby
”Shecuppedmyf
aceIr
emov
edher
handsfr
om myface
Me:
“Iwantt
osl
eepexcuseme”
Mom:
“I
ssyI
m sor
ry.
..
”
Me:
“I
tsnotyourfaul
t”
Iwal
kedawaymaki
ngmy
wayupst
air
s.Thando'
sdoorwasl
eftaj
arandI
heardSihle,
KuhleandThando'
sv oi
ceIwentto
mybedr oom toputLindsay
'sbag.Il
ookedat
them astheyweresleepi
ngonthebedIkissed
thei
rforeheadsandwenttojoi
nthegirl
s.
Me:
“Gi
rl
s”
Them:
“Hey
”
Sihl
e:“
Whereareyoucomi ngfr
om heee
unemikhubawena”Wel aughed.Iwalkedt
o
them andsatdownnexttothem Ilookedat
ThandoIcantellt
hatshewascr yi
ng
Me:“Thandowhati
swrong”shecr
iedheav
y
“Si
hle,Kuhl
ewhati
sisgoi
ngonwhyi sshe
cry
ing?”Theydi
dntr
epl
y“ Comeonguys”
Thando:
“Si
sI'
m sor
ry”Il
ookedatherper
plexed
Me:
“Thandot
alkt
omepl
ease”
Thando:
”I
m..
I'
m..I
'
m pregnantbyMj'
sbaby”I
l
aughedli
kereal
l
ylaughedbuttheseri
ousness
onherfacemademeceasemyl augh
Me:
“Not
hatwasaj
oker
ight
?”shebur
sti
nto
t
ear
s
Kuhle:
“Nosisit'
strue.Shemadeami stake
pl
easecal m downokay ”Iwasn'tangrybutI
washur tt
ot hecor
emyl owerl
ipshiveredmy
eyesgli
stenedwithtears.
Thando: “
Saysomet hingsi s”Ist oodupt owalk
awayshegr aspedmyar m.“Ngi yaxoli
sasi s”
(I'
m sorry)Igent l
yfr
eedmyar m onherhand
andmademywayout .Iwentt omybedr oom
andshuf fledtot hebat hroom it'
sensui t
bedroom.Isatonseatoft het oiletandcr i
edmy
l
ungsout .Ifeltmyhear tcrushingi ntopieces.I
feltl
ikeaf ail
urenothingIev ertouch, get
i
nv ol
v edwi t
hbecomeasuccess.My
relat
ionshipwi thMzwakhef ail
ed, mybabi es
didntmakei t,
myr elationshipwi thLat oyafail
ed,
mymar ri
aget hatdidn'tev enbegi nfail
ednow
It
sThando.
“
Sisopenup”Igotupandopenedt
hedoor
.It
wasKuhle
Kuhle:“Heysi
s”Isatdownont heseatagai
n
“comel et
'sgotomybedr oom”shetookmy
handintoherswewal kedtoherbedr
oom.“Im
sorr
y ”
Me:“I
m af ai
lur
esisIfai
ledheronceagai n.I
wasnev eragoodexampl etoher.It
smyf aul
t
sheispregnant.Iwasneverthesistershe
needed.Iwantedhert oachi
eveev eryt
hingfi
rst
befor
ehav i
ngababy”
“Shecanstil
ldol thatIssydontbehar don
yoursel
fyouaret hebestsistersheev eraskfor
don'
tblamey ourselfforthi
ngsy oucouldn'
t
control
”thatwasSi hlewhowal kedinandsat
nexttouspulli
ngmet oherar msIcriedharder
onherchest
Kuhle:“
Thandoknowsthatyouwantwhatbest
forherandsheknowsshedisappointedyou.
Pleasedon'
tcr
yit'
snotyourfaultal
lofthi
s
happenedandsheisawareoft hat.
”
Me:
“Buti
t'
shur
tsdeepdowni
nmyhear
t”
Si
hle:“
Phephi
say ezwa”(I
'
m sorr
yokay)she
pull
edmebackandwi pedmytears.“
Stop
cry
ingnowandt elluswheredoyoucome
fr
om”Ichuckled
Kuhl
e:“
From t
hatgor
geousguy
”
Me:
“Wel
lyes”Ibi
temyl
i
p
Si
hle:
“OMGhedi
dyou”
Me:
“Ewe”
Theyl
aughed
Kuhl
e:“
Damn!
”
Me:“
Youcansayt
hatagai
nhegotanar
m si
ze
wenzaamasi
mbamaan!”
Sihle:
“Pl
usit
sbeenawhil
econgr
atul
ati
onsf
or
releasi
ng”Welaughed
Kuhle:
“Youseem t
oli
kehi
m hef
eel
doeshe
feel
thesame
Me;
“Wel
lyeah”
Kuhl
e:“
Ihav
etomeethi
m andwhatar
ehi
s
i
ntent
ionsubuhl
ebendodai
zi
nkomozay
o”
Si
hle:
“Not
winni
eubuhl
ebendodaubudebe
weave”Weshri
ekedwi
thl
aughter
Me:“
Mi nangi
thubuhl
ebendodaamar ounds
ayokanyenosizewepipi
”Webursti
nto
l
aughter
Kuhl
e:“
Youl
ovesexwena”
Me:
“Ohcomeonwhodoesn'
t”
Kuhl
e:“
Youar
eonanot
herl
evel
wena”
Me:“
Ididn'
tgi
vebir
thtomy sel
fsobel
i
eveIt
ook
af
tersomebody”Theylaughed
Si
hle:
“Whocoul
dbeMom?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Nahmom doesn'
tl
ovesex”
Si
hle:
“Dad?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Uhm I
'
m notsur
eont
hatone”We
l
aughed
Si
hle:
“I
fIt
shi
myout
ookal
otf
rom dad”
Kuhl
e:“
Shewassupposet
obeaboy
”
Me:“Bengezi
zoqedaizinganezabant
u
ngogway i
”Theylaughed
Sihle:
“IpraythatLami doesn'
ttakeaft
eryouhe
willhavethousandski dswithdif
fer
entmother
s
wuuhngi yazi
sa”Wel aughedandcontinui
ng
talki
ngt opicsshi
ft
ing.
TWOMONTHSLATER
“whoooo.
..
Ahhhhhh”Iscr
eamedi
nagonymy
waterbr
okeawhileagoIwaswit
hsi
sFlor
a
onl
y.
Fl
ora:
“Youneedt
obr
eat
hIssy
”
Me:
“Ahhh.
..
Iwantt
opushsi
sFl
ora”
Flora:
“Youcan'
tst
handwasami y
ourfol
ksand
Muz iareontheway”Shewipedmysweaty
forehead.Iwasi
ntheloungeonthesof
a.
“
Baby
”ThatwasMamat
heybot
hwal
kedi
n
Me:
“Maoouhhhi
t'
shur
tswhoooahhhhh”
Mom:
“Br
eat
hbabybr
eat
he”
Dad:
“Iwi
ll
takehert
othehospi
tal
”hewas
pani
cki
ngwhil
emom wascalm
Me:“Iwon'
tgetther
edaddyIwantt
opush
now!”Muziwalkedinandgr
eeted“
Wheret
he
fuckhaveyoubeenIhavebeencal
li
ngy
ou!!”
Muz
i:
“I
m sor
ryI
m her
enowst
handwasami
”
Me:“
Pleasehel
pmeMuzi ifIgetupherethi
s
babywill
comeout”Heisaqualif
ieddoct
orbut
hequitaft
erhecoul
dn'
tsavehisfat
herand
Li
ndsaymom.
Mi
zi
:“
Let
stakey
out
othehospi
tal
”
Me:
“Aahhh”Iscr
eamedi
npai
n.
Mom:
“Muzi
pleasemysonhel
pher
”
Hetol
dmet oopenedmyl
egsanddi
d
somet
hingdownther
e
Muzi:
“ Ohshi
tshei
salreadyher
e!Mapl ease
getevery
thi
ngIwil
lneed”mom disappeared
“
BabyIneedy
out
orel
axokay
Dad:
“Takemyhandmyloveandsqueezedit
okay
”Inoddedheki
ssedmysweatyforehead.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
Isti
l
l cantbeli
eveshemov eonmyhear tdoesn't
wantt oletgoofher.Ihavebeencr y
ingf orthe
wholet womont hs.Myhear ti
sbeyondbr oken
It
shar dtofacetherealit
ythatsheisfinally
happywi thsomeoneel se.Thesessionshav e
beenv eryhel
pfulbutIwasst il
li
nawheel chair
.I
wasi nmyof fi
cescroll
i
ngonherpi csoni nstaI
missedhersomuch.Thescr eenwateredwi th
myt earssheseem happywi t
hthi
sMuzi guy .
“
Shemovedonyouneedt
odot hesame”That
'
s
wasSi
yamt
handashemassagedme.
Me:
“Shei
smyhear
tSi
ya”
Si
ya:
“Shei
shav
ingf
unwhi
l
eyouar
ecr
yingher
e.
I
'm heref
oryouPhakamani”shesatonmyl ap
“Rrememberthoseolddayst
ogethershe
brushedmylipswit
hhersshewasaboutt oki
ss
mewhenIr eceiv
edacall.
Me:
“Hel
l
oMr
sS”
MrsS:
“Issyi
shav
ingababy
”myhear
tski
pped
abeat
Me:
“Whi
chhospi
tal
Ma?
”
Mr
sS:
“Comet
omyhouse”Ihungup
Me:“
GetmychauffeurKi tKati
sinlabour”She
st
ooduponmyl ap.Wi thinsecndsIwasonmy
waytotheSi
thol
eResi dence.Iwaswel comed
byKat'
sscr
eams” Greetings”Theygreetedback
Kat:“
Greetingsukunukay
oumademe
preg..
..
.ahhhh”
Muz :
“Okaybabynow I '
m gonnacountupt o3
andyougoingt opush”Ifel
tpainofjeal
ousy
thatMuziwasdeliver
ingmydaught er.“
1.2.3
push”Katscreamedinagonyasshepushed.
Shepushedwithal
lherst
rengththeli
tt
lecr
y
fi
ll
edthel
ivi
ngroom myheartswell
edtothe
soundofthat
.
Kat
:“
Bay
..
..
”shepassedout
Muzi
:“Wewil
lhav
etogotot
hehospi
tal
justt
o
makesur
etheyar
eokay
.
ATTHEHOSPI
TAL
Wewer
ewai
ti
ngaf
terawhi
l
etheycal
l
edus.
Mr
sS:
“YoucangoonPhakamani
”
Me:“
Thanky
ouMa”Iwheeledmysel
ftoher
war
dshewascar
ingheri
nherar
ms“ Hey”
Kat
:“
Hey
”
Me:
“Thanky
oucanIhol
dher
”
Kat
:“
Sure”Shehandedmeourdaught
ershe
l
ookedsobeaut
if
ulli
kehermom.
Me:
“Hey
oobabyi
tsdaddywel
comet
othe
wor
ld
Kat
:“
Whatwi
l
lwecal
lher
?”
Me;
“Asemahl
emangomezul
u”
Kat
:“Per
fectIloveit
..
.Iwanttobr
eastf
eedher”
Iki
ssedAse'sti
nyipsandgav ehert
ohermom.
Il
ookedherasshebr eastf
eedherpir
cesl
ess
momentlater.Muziwalkedin
“wola”hesaidandkissedKat
'sli
pshewas
doi
ngt hatonpurposeIwheeledmy selft
othe
toi
letcri
edmylungsouti t
shurtseeingherwit
h
anothermanandi t
s10t i
mesmor et hatanot
her
mani smakingherhappy.
[
06/
02,
19:
38]W:
★ Ref
il
oeMat
shaka★
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97
KHETHOKUHLE
•
Il
ookedatherti
nyfi
nger
sandtinyhands,small
pout
edpinkli
ps.Shei
ssobeautif
ulsheisjusta
combinat
ionofmysel
fandPK.Ican'
tstop
l
ooki
ngathershei ssopeferctsheisoutoft
his
worl
d.Igi
vebir
thtobeautif
ul babi
esjeal
ous
down.Myprincess,Iki
ssedherl i
ps
Me:
“Wel
comet
othel
i
vingwor
ldmybabygi
rl
”
Muz
i:
“Shei
ssobeaut
if
ulj
ustl
i
key
ou”
Me:
“ThankyousomuchbabyIknowhowy
ou
f
eel
..
.”hecutmeof
f
Muz i
:
“It
sokaymybaby ”hekissedmyl i
psand
pl
acedhispinkyfi
ngeronAse' spalmswho
cl
ampedi twit
hhertinyfinger
s“ Hel
lopri
ncess
i
tsDaddyno2her eyousuchal uckygir
lyou
havetwodaddies”ThatwhenInot i
cedPKwas
nolongerint
heroom wi t
hus.
Me:
“Baby
?”
Muz
i:
“Mmh”
Me:“Theworl
dneedy ouweneedy out
osave
l
ivesyoucan'
tblamey our
sel
ffort
hedeat
hof
yourfat
herandLindsay'
smom”
Muz
i:
“Canwenott
alkaboutt
hisokay
!!
”he
snappedst
art
li
ngAsewhost artedwai
l
ing“
Im
sorr
ybaby.
..
Imreal
l
ysor r
y”Icradl
edAse
cal
mingherdown.“Nkosi
sthandil
e”
Me:
“Mh”
Muz i:
“Lookatmeplease”Ilookedathim“ Im
sorryforshout
ingatyouthetopicit
sst i
ll
sensiti
veinmyheart.Ij
ustneedtimeI '
m sorry
pleaseforgi
veme”Heki ssedmyf orehead
Me:
“If
orgi
vey
ou”
Muz i
:
“Thankyousomuch”Weki
ssed
passi
onatel
y.
Mom andDadwal
kedi
n.
Dad:
“Uphi
lomunt
u”
Me:
“Her
eisshe”
Mom:
“CanIhol
dherpl
ease”
Dad:
“HayMommyQueenIaskedf
ir
st”
Mom:
”Nodaddyki
ngy
ouaskedwher
eisshe”
Dad:
“I
ssymybabygi
vememygr
anddaught
er”
Mom:
“I
ssy
”shel
ookedatmewi
thaf
rown.
Dad:“Shewon'tdoanythi
ngtoy oubaby
uyagwajisagi
vehertome”Muzi andIcoul
dn't
helpbutlaughatthesetwo.Theyaresocute
shame.Mom t ookAsef r
om me“ Youarebossy
yazwena”Mom snuckouthert oungeatdaddy
wel aughed
Mom:“Hel
l
onunuohshei
ssoador
abl
e”she
ki
ssedher
.
Dad:“Yourt
imeisupml
ethe”Mom wal
kedaway
form dadandcametomyothersi
de.Muziand
Ilaughed
Mom:
“Whathername”
Me:
“Asemahl
emangomezul
u”
Dad:
“Whatal
ongname”
Me:
“Li
keMawakhel
omuzi
right
”hef
rowned
Mom:
“I
tsbeaut
if
ult
houghIl
ovei
t”
Dad:
“Met
oo”
Muzi:
“Ihav
eacal
ltomakeexcuseme”I
nodded
Dad:“Thanky ouMuzi”Muzinoddedthen
walkedout .Ihadagreatt
imewi t
hmyf olks
squabblingonmybabyl olthesetwotheymight
aswel lmaket hei
rownbaby .
•

THANDOKUHLE
•
Ithavebeent womont hsandIhav en'
theard
anythingfrom Loganhechangedhi snumber .I
feelreall
ybadIwi shIcanundoev eryt
hing.Mj
agghht hatbastardhei ssti
l
lwithPalesasonj e
Ichoset ost ayawayf rom him butheispoppi ng
upwher everIam.I '
m al waysatmyf ather'
s
placet oav oi
dseeinghi m notthatmyst ayhere
i
sgr andt hesetwobi tcheswon' tst
opmaki ng
myl i
femi serable.Theyhav eturneddaddy
againstme.I'
mt hewrongoneal wayshe
doesn'twannahearmysi deofstory.Mysister
s
havebeenv erysupport
iveandMamamayGod
blessthatwomanIl ovehersomuch.Shei s
doingherbesttomakesur ethatIdon'tst
ress,
shecheckonmeev er
yday.I
'm 3months
pregnantnowandmor ni
ngsicknessaredrivi
ng
mecr azy.Iopenedthefri
dgeit
sempt yandt he
potstoo.IwenttotheloungeSharonwas
plai
ti
ngherl i
tt
lesl
ut
Me:
“Wedon'
thav
efood?
”
Theysai
dnot
hing
“
HeyI
'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou”
Shar
on:
“Don'
tyoudar
etal
ktomel
i
ket
hat
!”
Me:“Yazinikopai ndunuunukemsoonwakho
I
'm sickandt ir
edofy ou!
”Ir
anupstairsand
packedal l
myst uff.Itookmycarkey sandlef
t
withmyst uff.Ireceivedacall
from daddy
“Baba”(Father)
Dad:“
Whatiswrongwithy
ouThandokuhl
ehuh?
I'
m si
ckandtir
edofyoumist
reat
ingShar
on.Go
andapol
ogisetohernow!
”hahDadehecan
rai
seavoicekant
i
Me: “Im doi
ngnosuchf ather.I'mtir
edoft hat
bitchofy ourstoget herwi thhersl utmi st
reati
ng
meandy oualway st aket heirsides.Youdon' t
wannahearmysi dey azini ndodahav eahappy
staywi thyourwi feandy ourdaught er.Youwill
nev erhearfrom meev eragai n.IfIknewy ou
willcauset r
oubl eIwoul dn'thav eall
owedy ouin
myl i
fe!
”Ihangupandwr oteI ssyat ext
."I
m
drivingtoRunst erburgr ightnowt omyaunt yI
j
ustneedsomef reshai r.Don' ttel
lMj andmy
fatherwher eam I ,Ilov ey ousl ayQueen"Aunt y
Khol ekaismydad' slitt
lesi ster.Shei s27years
oldandshei sthecool estauntev er.Stayi
ng
withherf oracoupl eofweekswi l
ldomegood.
•
PHAKAMANI
•
I
tsbeen3day ssincemydaughterwasborn.
Sheistheonlythi
ngthatmakesenseinmyli
fe
ri
ghtnow.Iwannadogoodf orherandshegive
mehopet hatonedaymyKi t
Katwil
lcomeback
tome.
Letmel etherbeunt i
lshereali
zethatshewas
bornformeandmef orher.Ourlov estor ywas
writ
tenbyangel si nheavenandourhear tsbeat
asone.Il ovethatshei snotcutti
ngmeoutof
mydaught er'
sli
feandshei sallowingmet o
takepar tinrai
singher.Shesentpi csofher s
everydayandt odayI m goi
ngtoseet hem.
YesterdayIboughtLami '
sandAse' scl othes
andot herthingsatwool i
es.Ismiledt omy sel
f
andki ssedthepi ct
ureofKitKatbreastf eeding
mydaught erwhichismyl ockscreen.
Me:
“Il
ovey
ouguy
s”
“
Im sur
etheyl
ovey
out
oobutyoumadethi
ngs
wor
sebymakingSi
yay
ourPA”Il
ookedatmy
br
other
.YesI
'
m st
il
lst
ayi
ngwi
tht
hem
Me:
“Wet
alkedaboutt
hatbr
asheneededt
he
j
ob”
Jabu:“Whydi
dshecomet oy ou?PhakamaniI
wast heonepickingupthepieceswhenthatgi
rl
brokeyourheart.Idon'
tunderst
andwhyareyou
al
lowingherinyourlif
eagain”Ihuf
fedthi
stopi
c
i
sol dnow
Me:
“Iwasjusthelpi
nganexineedwhati
s
wr
ongwiththat?”Helookedatmeshocked
Jabu:“Dontt el
lmey oucan'tseewhati swr ong
bra.Forgett hepartt
hatshebr okey ourheart
shedecr easedt hechancesofy ouandI ssyt o
betogether .Idon'
tblamehert hatshemov ed
ony oucanbeadogsomet imesy azIwi sht hey
getmar ri
edwi ththatguyshedeser vetobe
happyaf terthepainyouputhert hrough.”ouch
thatreal
lyhur ts
“HayiJabul
anihowcany
ousayt
hatt
oyour
brot
her!”t
hatwasMama.
Me:
“I
tsokayMama”
Mom:
“Noit
'snotheknowshowmuchdoy
ou
l
ovet
hatgi
rlhowcanhesaythat
”
Jabu:“
Youdon'thurtsomeoneyouloveMama
l
etalonelayi
ngyourhandonher ”Doeshehav
e
toremindmeev ery
day .IknowwhatIdi
dand
I'
m notproudofit
.IwishIcanundone
every
thing.
Mom:
“JABULANIMAAN!
”myphonebeeped
Me:
“Mydr
iveri
sher
e”
Mom: “
Ipackedev er
ythi
nginthi
sbagmyson”
sheplacedthebagonmyl aps“
Heregi
veIssy
thesecookiesfr
eshlybakedbyme”shegave
met hetupperwarel
unchbox
Me:
“I
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
”
Mom:
“Of
cour
sewhyar
eyouaski
ng?
”
Me:
“Youhav
enev
erbakedcakesf
orherMama
”
Mom: “OhcomeonI '
mjustthanki
ngherfora
granddaught
errememberIhav egr
andsons
only”shesmil
edsheepi
shly
Me:
“Mawhati
sgoi
ngonIknowy
ouphel
a”
Mom:
“Not
hing”sheav
oidedey
econt
act
Me:
“Ma!
”
Mom: “Okay !Icoul
dn'tj
ustsitandwat chyou
drowningmyson.Idi dwhatamot herwilldofor
herchild.Ihateseeingyoumoppi ngar ound.A
mot herknowswhatbestf orherchil
drenand
thatgir
l i
sbestf oryoumyson”
Me:“Whatdi
dyoudoMama?
”Il
ookedatheri
n
ant
ici
pati
on
Mom:“
Justt
ellhert
oeatthesecookiesshewi
l
l
wanty
ouback”Jabubursti
ntolaughter
Me:
“JesusMamat
hatwi
tchcr
aft
”
Mom: “
Haywenathatwor
disextr
eme.There'
s
nothi
ngwrongbr
ingi
ngbackyourl
oveone”Tjo
thi
swoman
Me:“
Ngomut iphoMaayayI 'm notgoi
ngto
gi
vemyKi t
Katyourcooki
es.Iwanthertocome
backtomebecauseshelovemenott hatIused
somemut it
owinherbackthatsabigno”Igave
hert
helunchbox
Mom: “
Dontbestupi
dwenat hatboywil
ltake
herfor
ever
.Youdor eal
izethatchancesofher
tocomebacktoy ouaresli
m sinceyoulayyour
handonher.Shealmostlostthebaby
Phakamani!
”
Me:“HayiMamaKatl ov emeshewi l
lfor
giveme
maybenotnowbutshewi llonedayandwewi l
l
betogetherstopthisnonsenseandbesi desher
mom wi l
lknowaboutt his.I'
ml eavi
ngby e”I
wheeledmy selfoutignor i
ngherasshecal l
ed
outforme.Mychauf feurputt hebagont he
bootandhel pedmegeti nthecar .Uponar r
ival
si
sFloraattendedmeatt hedoorandusher ed
met otheloungewher eIwaswel comedbya
gi
gglingMrsS.
Mr
sS:
“EhenemaanWakhe”
MrS:
“Comeonmyl
ove”
Mr sS:“
Mm. mh”shegiggl
edncootheyar
eso
cutetoget
hertal
kingaboutl
ovet
hatneverget
old.
MrS:
“Iwon'
tl
astl
ongIpr
omi
sey
ou”
Me:“
Mhmmh”Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.Theybot
h
l
ookedatme
MrsS:“
Phakamaniwedidn'
theary oucomein”I
don'
tbl
amey ouhey.Theybothsatupstrai
ght
upasIwheeledmyselft
owardsthem and
pl
acedthebagontheempt ycouch.
Me:
“Gr
eet
ingsManoBaba”
Them:
“Hel
l
oson”
Me:
“Howar
eyou”
MrS:
“Wear
efi
nehowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
m al
sof
ine”
MrS:
“Iwi
l
lgocal
lthem t
heyar
eupst
air
s”He
st
oodupwi
thandmadehi
swayup.
Mr
sS:
“Doy
ouwantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
”
Me:
“Si
sFl
orasai
dwi
l
lmakemeonet
hanky
ou”
MrsS:
“Great
”shel
ookedatmeIl
ookeddownI
wasashamedthewayItr
eat
edherdaught
er.
Ifel
therwar m palmsont hesidesofmyhead.
Shetil
tedmyheadbackwar dandmademe
l
ookedather .Shenear edherfaceonmymi neI
couldfeel herwar m br
eathagai nstmyfacemy
heartbeatf asterIswearitwant edtocomeout
ofmymout h.Sheletgoofmyf aceandr eached
formyl eftarm shest r
etcheditt hendothe
samet hingwi ththeotherar m.Sher anher
handsov ermybodygoi ngdownt omylegs.
Sheslappedmyl egscount l
esst i
meunt i
li
t
hurt
s.Af terthatshedisappearedl eavi
ngme
confused.MyKi tKatwhowascar i
ngAse
walkedi n
Kat
:”
Her
e'sdaddypr
incess”Shegav
emeAse
ohshei
ssuchacutepiebakithi
Me:
“MyKi
tKat
”
Kat:
“Chocol at
eCake”Il
ookedatherasshesat
downont hecouch.Shewaswearingadeni
m
shortthatexposedhercreamythi
ghsandher
vestshowi ngherf
ullbr
eastdamnshelookso
sexyIfeltmymanhoodt witchwai
tdidI
?No
probablyit'
smyimaginati
on
Me:
“Howar
eyou”
Kat:
“I
mtir
edyourdaught
erdoesnotsl
eep
Phakamaniy
eerr
”
Me:“
Im sor
ryy
oucangosleepnowIwi
l
ltake
car
eofherunti
lyouwakeup”
Kat:
“Nahdon'tworr
yMom gotmybackhowi
s
youthough?
”Ilookedather
Me:
“Soy
oudocar
e?”
Kat:
“OfcoursePhakamani j
ustbecauseweare
nolongertogetherdoesn'
tmeanIdon'tcar
e
hawuandbedsi dey ouaret
hefatherofmy
babies”sheret
orted
Me:
“I
m sor
ryI
fIof
fenedy
ou”
Kat
:“
Nost
ress”
Me:“
Wellt
oanswery ourquest
ionI
'
m notfineat
al
lwit
houtyou.Ngi
yakumbuluaNkosi
sthandil
e
Khet
hokuhl
eSithol
e”(Imissyou)
Kat:
“Youwi
l
lbef
inedoy
ouwantany
thi
ngt
o
dri
nk?”
Me: “
Sisfl
orai
scoming..
.wherei
smysonI
thoughtIwil
lseehi
mt ooIalsoboughthim
somecl ot
hesandthatcaphewant edthathasa
spiderman”
Kat
:“
Hewi
thMuzi
”
Me:“
OhIsee”Ican'
thel
pbutfeel
jeal
ousyt
his
guyhasr
eplacedmemor et
henonewayagg.
Kat
:“
Dontbel
i
ket
hatt
u”
Me:
“Sor
ry.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sint
hebag”
Kat
:“
Thankyou”sheopenedt
hebag“
ncoot
hey
ar
esocute.Youdohaveatast
eMrM”
Me:“
Wel l
thatonewaschosenbySi
ya”shewas
r
efer
ringtoacutefl
owereddr
ess.I
t'
ssocut
e
Kat
:“
Oh”youseet
hatOhmademesmi
l
eto
mysel
f.
Si
sfl
orawalkedi
nwi
that
rayandputi
tont
he
gl
asstabl
e.
Me:
“Thanky
ousi
s”shenoddedandwal
kedout
Kat
:“
Wil
lyoubeabl
etoeatwi
thher
”
Me:“Youcantakeher”shestoodupandtook
herfrom methensatdown.Itookthegl
assof
j
uiceandsippedonit“Wheredidyoumeetthi
s
dude”
Kat:
“Arewegoingt otal
kaboutmyboy fr
iend?
”
shewasbr east
feedingAseIgotlosti
nthis
beauti
fulsi
ghti
nf r
ontofmet heglasssl
ipped
thr
oughmyhandsandf alldownjui
ce
spl
atteri
ngmypant s“Sorr
yareyouokay”
Me:“
NoI'm sor
ryIl
ovel
ooki
ngatyou
br
eastf
eedingmydaught
eri
tssobeaut
if
ul”she
chuckl
ed
Kat
:“
Iwi
l
lcl
eant
hatuppl
easebur
pher
”she
gav
emeAse
Me:
“IhopeIwon'
twetherwi
thmypant
s”
Kat
:“Ihav
ey oursweatpant
sinmyclosetIwil
l
gofetchi
t.Youknowhowt oburpherri
ght”
Me:
“Wehav
easonr
emember
”
Kat
:“
Sor
ry”
Me:“It
scool ”Ipl
acedAseonmyshoul derand
burpherasKatwal kedawayisitmeorshei s
extr
asexydamni tsdriv
emecr azytothinkthat
bastardiseatingonmypl at
e.Shecameback
andcl eanedtheglassesonthefloort
henwent
tofetcht hesweatpants.
Kat
:“
Her
eyoucanuset
henear
estbedr
oom”
Me:
“Younotgonnahel
pme”Ismi
rked
Kat
:“
HayPK”
Me:
“ButIcan'
tdr
essmy
sel
fyouknowt
hat
”
Thatwasal i
eIgotusetodomanyt hi
ngsby
my sel
fovert
hetwomont hs.Iwant
edtofeel
thetouchofhersmoothhands
Kat
:“
Youhav
etot
rybr
a”
Me:
“Katpl
ease”
Kat:“
Okay!”SheplacedAseont hecouchand
wheeledmet ot henearestbedr
oom.She
crouchedandt ookoffmysneaker sthen
unbuckledmybel tIkeptmygazeatherasshe
wasdoi ngso“Ifyoudon'tstopstari
ngatme
l
ikethatIwill
stop”
Me:“Can'tblamemey ourbeaut
yi saddi
cti
ve”I
winkedathershesuppr essedasmi l
ebutIsaw
i
trightthere.Ipul
l
edherclosetomeshef lop
onmyl ap“ Imissyousomuch, Imissthi
s”I
saidrunningmyhandsonhert highs.
Kat:
“PK..
.”Ishutherupwithakiss,
runningmy
handsunderherv estr
eachingf
orherboobs.I
squeezedthem damnt heyweresofullI
moanedi nhermout hshepushedmeand
l
ookedatme“ whatispokingmePhakamani ”
Sheshi
ftedabitstar
ingatmyhardrock
manhood.nonoi t
sadr eam,i
t'
sadamnf ucki
ng
dream.
Me:“I
..
thi
scan'
tbehappingImean.
.huh?”Iwas
shockedtooj
ustl
ikeherlcoul
dn'
tbeli
eveit
Kat:
“MmmhMrMngomezuluit
sseemsl
ike
l
it
tl
eMngomezul
uisbackongameagai
n”she
bi
teherl
i
p
Me:“
Youaret
heonl
yonewhogethi
m hewant
younow”
Kat:
“Ha.aPK”shestoodupIpull
edherback
andkissedherdeepl
yshepushedme
“Phakamanistopthi
sokay
”
Me:
“But
..
.”
Kat:
“There'
snobutwear edonebr a”she
walkedoutIgr oanedi
nfrust
rat
ion!MaybeI
shouldconsidermymomsof f
er.
•
VI
NCENT
•
“
Youputt
oomuchpr
essur
eont
heboybaby
”
Me:
“Soy
ousayt
hisi
sal
lmyf
aul
t?”
Wif
ey:
“NoI'
m notsayi
ngthatbuty
ouar et
he
onewhoencouragedhi
mt ofi
ghtforI
ssy”
Me:“SoIwaswr ongtoencouragemysont o
f
ightforwhatbelongtohi
m? ”Ilookedather
Wifey:
“I
ssyneverbel
ongtohim hemadethat
decisi
onthedayhethrewthem outandt
oldher
toabortLami.YouandIknowverywellt
hatt
his
i
snotaboutIssyitsaboutLami
”
Me:“SoIwassupposetoletyoursist
ergi
vemy
grandsonanot
herman'ssurname?Ov ermy
deadbodyain'
tnograndsonofmi newil
luse
anotherman'
ssurnamewhet hermysonisdead
orali
ve.”
Wif
ey:
“Thatmanr
aisedLami
wheny
ourson
dumpedthem!
”
Me:
“Don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme”
Wifey:
“I
m sorr
ybuty ouarebeingsel f
ishri
ght
nowmny eniwami Issyhaveev er
yrighttogiv
e
hersonthesurnameshewant .Ihatethefact
thaty
ouar edownplayingherfeeli
ngsandwhat
Mzwakheputhert hrough.All
y oucareaboutis
thegrowthoftheZwanecl an”
Me:
“Thati
snott
rue”
Wifey
:“I
tistr
uey oushouldhavefoundawayt o
makeIssyagr eenotuseMzwakhet owinIssy
sothatLami wil
lusehissurname.Attheendof
thedayLami isaZwaneI ssyknowthatyou
weresupposet ogiveherti
mey oufl
oppedthis
ti
memyl oveIwon' tl
ietoyouandnow
Mzwakhei ssuffer
ingament albr
eakdown.”
Thathithomecozshewasr ightandt hatoneof
thereasonsIlov ehershenev erhesit
atetotel
l
mewhenI '
m wr ong.I'
m humant ooImake
mist
akeIadmi tIwenttoofarwi ththi
s.I
coul
dn'tbearthet houghtofLami usinganother
man'ssurnameasi fhisfather
'sf
amil
yisdead.
Iputtoomuchpr essureonmysonandIhat e
myselfforwhatIdidlookingathi
m nowbreaks
myhear t.
Me:
“Iadmi
tIwaswr
ongandI
m sor
ry”
Wif
ey:“
Iknowmyl
ove”shecamet
osi
tonmy
l
ap“It
sgoingt
obeokay”
Me:“
HowSihle?Lookathi
m hedoesn'
teven
knowwhatdayiti
sheisprobabl
yli
vi
nginhis
ownworl
d”
Webot hlookedatMzwakhewhowascat chi
ng
Godknowswhatandgi ggli
nglikealunat
ic.He
hadhisunderwearonhisheadandwear i
ng
sweatpantsandmywi fe'
ssandals.He
completel
ylosti
tandthesightbrokemet othe
cor
e.
[
06/
02,
19:
38]W:
98
SQALESI
HLE
•
Mzwakhe'
sbreakdownisstressi
ngthehel l
out
ofmeIneededairfr
om hiscrazi
ness.Idrove
homeIknowtheonlypersonwhocanhav e
answer
sisMama.WhenIgethomeIf ound
Fl
orawhowasal r
eadyl
eav i
ng
Me:
“Si
showar
eyou”
Fl
ora:
“I
mfi
nesi
showar
eyou”
Me:
“I
'm al
sof
inewher
e'sev
ery
one?
”
Flor
a:“
Yourmom i ssl
eepingyourfatherand
I
ssyareinthepianoroom.I'm onmywayout
butPK'sdri
verdropthesecookiesforIssycan
yougiveherI'
minahur ry
”
Me:
“OkaySi
sby
e”
Fl
ora:“
Bye”thesmellofthecookieshitmynose
Iopenedthetupper
war eandtookonecooki e
andateit
.Mhhhi tt
astedrealgoodIendedup
eati
ng3oft hem makingsurethatIssywon't
noti
cethoughthenIwentt othepianoroom.
Thedoorwasl ef
tajarIpeepedthrough.They
havet ur
nedthepianoroom intosomemini
studio.Theywer
esi ngi
ngtheirsongwhi
chwil
l
ber el
easedsoon.Icouldn'
thelpbutsmi
leat
my self
Me:“
Thi
ssongwill
reachgoldI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou”
Theyst
oppedandlookedatme
Dad:
“Pr
incessIdi
dn'
tseey
oucomi
ngi
n”
Me:
“HeydadIwassay
ingt
hissongi
sahi
tit
wi
ll
reachgol
d”
I
ssy
:“Yout
hinkso”
Me:“Yeah”IhuggedDaddythenIssy“
Yourbaby
daddysentyousomedel i
ciouscooki
est
heyare
i
ntheki t
chen”
I
ssy:
“Ohyeshedidsay.
..
wai
thowdoy ouknow
t
heyaredel
ici
ous”Igi
ggl
edsheepi
shl
y
Me:
“Daddywher
eisy
ourwi
feIneedher
”
Dad:
“Shei
ssl
eepi
ngi
nourbedr
oom”
Me:
“Okaycar
ryonsor
ryt
odi
stur
byouguy
s”
Issy:
“Vomi
tthecookiesyouatebef or
eyougo”I
l
aughedandr anout.Iwentupstai
rsMamawas
sleepi
ngwit
hAsei nthei
rbedroom.Iwalked
closeandki
ssedAseshei ssobeaut i
fulIt
hink
i
t sti
mehubbyandImakeanot herbabyImean
Sbani i
sol
dnow.
Me:“Mama”Ishookhersheisadeepsl
eeperI
hadtoshookhersever
alti
mes.Shest
ir
redand
openedherey
es
Mom:
“Baby
”shewi
pedhermout
handl
ookedat
me
Me:
“Howar
eyou”
Mom:
“I
mfi
nesweet
hear
twena”
Me:“I
mf i
neMamaI t
sMzwakheziy
antri
nga
ekhandaIthi
nkt
histhi
ngy
aIssydrov
ehimt o
theedge”
Mom:“Akantr
ingit
uhejusthavet
oconfess
whathedid.Mngomezuluancest
orsgotno
t
imetoplayI'
mt el
li
ngyou”
Me:
“I
m notsur
eI'
mfol
l
owi
ngMama”
Mom:“Comeheretomor
rowwit
hhi
m andhi
s
f
atherIwi
ll
elabor
atemore”
Me:“ButMamayouaremymom I '
m sur
eyou
canfil
lmeupkancane.WhatdoesMngomezul
u
ancestor
sgott
odowi tht
his”
Mom:
“YouknowIdon'
twor
kli
ket
hatbaby
”
Me:
“I
yabhor
alent
oyakhoy
az”
Mom:
“Fuseg”Il
aughed
Me:
“Ihav
etogoMommyIl
ovey
ou”
Mom:
“Whati
sthehur
ry”
Me:
“Il
eftwi
thouti
nfor
mingany
one”
Mom: “
Ilovey outoo”Ikissedhercheekt hen
wenttobi dhisfarewallt
oDadandI ssyt hen
droveoff.Iwasn'tfeel
ingokayIwasdi zzy,
sweati
ngandmyhear twasbeat i
ngfast.I
pull
edofft r
yingtocalm my sel
fdown.Iheard
theknockont hewindowIl ookedupitwas
Phakamanimyhear tbeatabnor
mal andmy
pal
mssweat .Iopenedthedoorforhim hewas
walki
ngthatwasasur pri
se
Me:
“Phakamani
”
PK:
“Heyhowar
eyou”
Me:
“Youar
ewal
ki
ng?
”
PK:“
Godisgood”Ismi
l
edmyheartwascl
ose
fr
om jumpi
ngoutofmychest“
Arey
ouokay”
Me:“
Umhyes.
.no.I”Istut
ter
edcozIwasn'
t
sur
eofmyfeel
ings“Ki
ssme”
PK:
“Huh?
”
Me:“KissmeIwantt ofeelyourli
ps”Iheldhi
s
faceandkissedhi
m hislipsaresoftand
welcoming.Aloudbangst art
ledmeIjumped
upwi t
hshockthatwhenIr eali
zedIdozedof f
i
nt hecarandIwasdr eaming.Someonewas
knockingonmywi ndow Iloweredit“yes”
“
Arey
ouokayMa'
am”
Me:
“Yeyes”Iwi
pedmysweat
yfor
eheadwhat
i
sgoingonnow?
•
MAWAKHELOMUZIJUNI
OR
•
Ikissedhergoi
ngbet
weenherthi
ghsIcoul
d
feelmycockgetti
nghar
dereachpassi
ng
second.
“Wil
lyoueverlov
emelikeyoul
oveher
”mydi
ck
becameflacci
dinst
ant
aneousl
ywhati
swr
ong
wit
hthisgir
l.
Me:“
Pal
epl
easewetal
kedaboutt
hisam Inot
her
ewit
hyouhuh?
"
Pal
e:“
That
snotenoughMj
”
Me:“
Whatdoy ouwantfr
om me? ”Iwasr
eal
l
y
get
ti
ngconfusednow.Ichoseherwhatt
hefuck
i
sthisnow.
Pal
e:“
Iwanty
out
otel
lmey
oul
ovemeMj
that
youl ovememor etheny ouloveher ”Ihuffed
andj umpeddownf rom her.“Sayit”Onet hingI
hav elear
ntaft
erbei ngrapedi sthatli
escan
destroyyouandt heycancausehar mt hatcoul
d
hav ebeenpreventedsoIwasn' tgonnal ookat
herandl i
ecozt hetruthisIloveThandomor ei
n
factIwouldn'
tdescr ibewhatIf eelforheras
l
ov e.
Me:“
Palesadon'tdot hist
oy our
self
.Whyare
youdoingthi
sIt houghtwear egoi
ngtochil
l
her
eeat ,
fuck,eat,watchyourseri
esandfuck
whatisallt
hisnow? ”
Pale:
“Thingsar
enott
hesameany moreMjI
worrythatI'
mlosi
ngyoueachpassi
ngsecond
yetyouar eher
eri
ghtnextt
ome.”
Me:
”Youar
enotl
osi
ngmebabyIl
ovey
ouokay
"
Pal
e:“
Moret
henyoul
oveher
?”Isi
ghednow
shei
spushi
ngi
t.“Mj
!”
Me:
“LookPalesaIl
oveyoubutIl
oveThando
mor
et hatt
hehardtr
uthandIhat
ewhatI'
m
doingrightnowcozi t
sselfish.I'
m busykeepi
ng
youher ewi t
hmewhi l
eIknowt hatyoudeserve
betterI
'm sorryforputti
ngy outhroughthispai
n
i
twasnev ermyi ntent
ion.Ihav ebeenselfi
sh
fortoolongnowIhav et oletyougobabyso
thatyouwi llf
indsomeonewhowi llgi
veyouall
thelovey oudeserve.I'
mr eallysorr
y”shewas
i
nt earsalreadythatbrokemyhear t
Pale:
“ Whyar eyoudoingthi
stomeMj huh?I
l
ov ey ousomuchIhav eputupwi t
hyourshi
t
andt hisiswhatIget?Whatiswr ongwit
hme?
Pleaset ell
mewher edidIgowr ongsothatI
canf i
xi tpl
ease”shesobbed.Ipull
edhertomy
chestandwr appedmyar msaroundherbody.
Me: “
Ipromisey out
here'
snothingwr ongwi t
h
youPal esayouarebeauti
ful,
intell
i
gent ,
sexy,
funnygi r
lwhodeservebett
erthenwhatIcan
offeryou.Pleaseer
asethethoughtt hatther
e's
somet hingwrongwithyoucozt her
ei sn'
t”
Pal
e:“
NoMj
youcan'
tdot
hatt
omewehav
e
beenthr
oughalott
ogetherdon'
tbreakupwith
meplease.Icangi
veyouababyi fthatwhat
youwant”shesobbedIsighedheavil
y
Me:
“Pal
ethi
sisnotaboutababy
..
..
”
Pale:“
Whatisthatshehavet
hatIdon' thavehuh?
I
sitmywei ghtIcanlosesomef atforyoubaby
don'tl
eaveme”Pal ei
sthi
ckwher easThandoi s
aslenderbutt
rustmeIdon'tcareaboutt hei
r
weightIl
ovethem dif
fer
encesizesbutThando
happenedtobet heonewhostolemyhear t.
Me:“Heyheylookedatme”Imadeherl ookedat
me“ Yourbodygotnothingtodowit
hthis
Palesa.Youarebeaut
ifull
iket
hisIl
ove
everyt
hingaboutyou.
..”shecutmeoff
Pale:
”Buty
oucan'tbewithme.IthurtsMjitcut
deepdowni nmyheart”shewail
edl i
keababy .
Shedoesntdeser
vethis.Thi
sgir
listheonlygirl
whomanaget oputupwi thmyshit.Shehave
caughtmemanyt imeswithmyot hergi
rl
fr
iends
butsheissti
ll
her
ewi t
hme.I tbr
eaksmyhear t
thataf
teral
lthatpai
nImt
heonewhoi
shur
ti
ng
her
Me:“
Im sor
ryPal
esaI'
mverysor
ryIwi
sht
hings
di
dn'
thavetobethi
sway”
Pale:“
Whyhuh?Whydi dy oumakemef al
lin
l
ovewi thy
ouwheny ouknewy ouwi l
lbreakmy
heartli
ket
his.Ihavebeennot hingbutagr eat
gir
lfr
iendt
oy ouMj .Igavemy selft
oy ouIgav e
youal l
ofmyhear tandy outoreitapartli
kethi
s
why ?WhyMj ”shecr i
edwet ti
ngmybar echest.
Me:“I
m sorr
y”HowIwi shIhadwor dstomake
herunderst
andthi
sbetter.Asmuchassor r
y
doesn'
tunbreakherheartbutItstheonlywordI
cansaytoher.“Ri
ghtnowi tsseemsunf ai
rand
i
thurtbutonedayy ouallr
ealizeIdidyoua
fav
our.Icanimaginehowpai nfuli
tistobein
l
ovewi t
hsomeonewhowi llneverloveyouback
asyoulovehim”
Pal
e:“
Leav
e”
Me:
“Baby
..
.”
Pale:“GoMj !Idon'twantt
oseey ouagainyou
pieceoft r
ash!Youusedmet osat i
sfyyour
sexual desiresnowy ouareditchingmel i
kea
usedt oiletpaper.Karmawill
visityouoneday!”
Herwor dscutdeepi nmyhear t.Igotupandget
dressed
Me: “I'
m sor r
y ”Ikissedhercheekandl eft.My
hear twassor eIf eltr
eallybadIwant edtocr y
butIdi dn'tlett hathappened.Igoti nmycar
andbur iedmyf aceonmyst eeringwheel and
breat hedoutl oudly.I
thur tnowIgetwhymom
al
way ssaydoi ngther i
ghtt hingi sthehar dest
andpai nfulthingev er.Myphoner ang itwas
ani ntent i
onal numberper fectt i
mi ngcozI
neededsomeonet otalkt oaf terIssyandI
encount erIchoset odistancemy selffr
om my
fr
iendscozt heyar etheonewhogotme
i
nv olvedwi t
hO2.Mybehav i
orhav ealway sbeen
i
nfluencedbymyf ri
ends.
Me:
“Br
o”
I
na:
“Heymanhowar
eyou”
Me:
“I
'm goody
ou?
”
Ina:“
I'
m goodbuty
oudon'
tsoundgood”I
sighed
Me:
“I
tsamessbr
a”
I
na:
“Whathav
eyoudonenowMj
?”
Me:“
Iimpr
egnat
edagi
rlandbr
okeanot
hergi
rl
'
s
hear
t”
I
na:“What
?Ihopethegirl
youimpr
egnat
edis
notPal
esathatgi
rlneedtost
udyt
obett
erher
fut
ure”
Me:
“Shei
sact
ual
l
ythegi
rlIbr
okeherhear
t”
I
na:
“St
opt
alki
ngi
nri
ddl
esandenl
i
ght
enme”
Me:
“Ii
mpr
egnat
edThandobut
i”
I
na:
“Hol
yJesuswhen?How?
”
Me:
“Byhav
ingunpr
otect
edsexwi
thher
”
I
na:
“Ahf
ucky
oumanIknowt
hatImeanhow
di
dal
loft
hishappened?
”
Me:“TruthisIfallinlov ewithherbutIdi
dn'ttel
l
hercozIwasscar edofr ej
ecti
onbutast i
mes
wenton.Icoul dn'tcont rol
my selfany
moreI
confessedandi ttur nedoutsheal sofel
tthe
same.Wel lweki ndadat edforadayortwobut
shedidn'tstopseei ngherWhi t
eboysoIf orced
hertochooseandshechoseherwhi teboy.
Thedayofy ourweddi ngIfoundoutsheis
pregnantandf ortunat el
yenoughsheknows
thatsheiscar r
yingMawakhel omuziJunior
Junior”
I
na:“
WowbuthowdidImi
ssal
loft
hat
?ImeanI
di
dn'
tnot
icet
haty
outwower
efeel
i
ngeach
ot
her”
Me:
“Youar
eal
way
swi
thy
ouf
ami
l
ybr
a”
I
na:“
Iguesssodidn'
tIt
oldy
out
onev
erhi
tit
wi
thoutarubberMj?
”
Me:“
Youdi
dIj
ustl
ostcont
rol
ofmy
sel
fI'
m
sor
ry.
”
I
na:“LosecontrolhowInaIal
way stell
yout o
focus!”geethi
sguymar adaddidn'tshoutat
mef orimpregnati
ngThandoalthoughhewas
notpleasedatallbutmyparentstaughtme
respectsoIwilll
i
stentohim pl
aybigbr ot
her
Me:“
Thandomakemelosecont
rol
ofmy
sel
f
shei
sdriv
ingmecr
azy
”
I
na:
“Damny
ougoti
tbadneh.
”
Me:“EishwenaandIj ustbrokeupwithPalesaI
thoughtItwasselfi
shofmebr otokeepher
whileIknowt hatIwil
lneverlov
eherbutits
hurtsIdidn'
tmeant ohurther”
Ina:
“Youdi
dt herightthi
ngbylett
inghergo
shamepoorgi rl
shel oveyouIhopeshef i
nd
someonewhowi llhealherandl
ov eher
wholehear
tedlynotaf uckboyli
key ou!
”
Me:
“Ouch”
I
na:
“Doest
hef
olksknowaboutt
his?
”
Me:
“Wel
lyeah”
I
na:
“And?
”
Me:“Dadisnotpleasedatal
lhesaidhetaught
mebet t
ertogoar oundandmakebabiesatmy
agewellmom y ouknowhowt hatwomani sshe
i
smadatmeshei snotevental
kingt
omeI t
i
rksthehelloutofmebr aThandosuddenl
y
becameav ict
im whileIwastheonewhowas
heartbr
oken”
I
na:“I
'm sor
ryIwisht hi
ngsworkoutf oryou
guys.Thandoneedy ounowmor ethenev erbra
yougottabet her
eforherlikeneverbefore.She
i
s19andpr egnantshemustbescar edy ou
needtomakesur ethatshegotyouany ti
me”
Me:“Thatwhati nt
endtodoIhopesheal l
owme
i
ncozshei sshut ti
ngmeout .I
tshavebeent wo
mont hsdudeshei sshut
tingmeout .Iwantto
bethereful
l ti
mebhutiandsupportheralway s
andforever.Idon'
twanttobet heabsentfather
Iwantt obewi t
hthem fr
om nowt i
llfor
ever.
”
I
na:
“Wowwhatdi
dyoudot
omybr
other
”
Me:
“Fucky
ou”
I
na:
“Youar
egrowingupl
it
tlebr
oandI'
m pr
oud
oft
hemany ouar
ebecoming”Ismi
l
ed
Me:“Wel
lI'
m goi
ngtobeaf at
hernowIthast
o
happensoonert
henlat
er.
..whenarey
ouguys
comingbackwemissyou”
Ina:
“Wedecidedtoextentthehoneymoonmy
wifelov
eithere.I
'
mt hinki
ngofrel
ocati
nghere
youknowsel l
thathouseIboughtforherand
buyanotheroneheretcozIcanseet hatshei
s
soIlovewiththi
splace”
Me:
“Woahy
ouwantmom t
ohav
eanhear
tache”
I
na:
“Mom needtounder
standt
hatI'
m nolonger
aboynow.I
'm amanofthehouse,afat
herand
ahusbandt
hiswasboundtohappen”
Me:“Yhogoodluckonthatbr
a.Thewoman
cri
edthatyouguysareawayfort
womont hs
howwi l
lshetakethaty
ouarerel
ocat
ingt
hat
si
de.Youknowmom wantusnextt oher
al
way
s”hesi
ghedheav
y
Ina:
“I
fitwasuptohershewouldmarryusal
l
sothatwewon'thavetol
eavehersi
ght”We
l
aughed
Me:
“Yeaht
hat
'smom”
I
na:“Butsheneedt
ounderst
andthatshehave
toletherchi
l
drenl
i
vethei
rli
vest
heyar eal
l
grownnow”
Me:“
YeahbutIdon'
tthi
nkIwanttol
iveaway
f
rom MamaIwi l
ll
it
eral
l
ydiewit
houtherbr
a”He
l
aughed
I
na:
“If
eel
sor
ryf
orThando”
Me:
“Angi
thiya'
l
lmovingoutwithyourspouses
wel
lMinaImmabeagoodchi l
dandbr i
ng
MamaaMakot itost
aywith”hecackledmaking
myearitch
I
na:
“Whatwi
l
lhappenwheny
ouhav
eki
ds”
Me:“Mom wi
ll
lov
etoraisehergr
andki
dswhi
l
e
ThandoandIgotoworkandcomeback
ev
ery
day
.Youseei
t'
swor
kabl
e”Hel
aughed
I
na:
“Iheary
ouMama'
sboy
”
Me:“
I'
m notamama'sboyyoumor
onIjustl
ove
ourmothermor
ethenyoudo”Hel
aughedonce
agai
n
I
na:
“Congrat
ulat
ionsonbabyMawakhel
omuzi
j
uni
orjuni
or”Hesaidlaughi
ng
Me:
“Thanky
oubr
aI'
m hopi
ngf
orapr
incess”
I
na:“
She'
dbeauti
ful
.Itwasni
cet
alki
ngt
oyou
br
other
.Il
oveyou”
Me:
“Sameher
eIl
ovey
out
oo.Hal
ayourf
am f
or
me”
Ina:
“Wil
ldosur e”Ihungupaf terthatcallIf
elt
bett
er.Istartedthecaranddr ovehome.I
neededtobei nRusternburgasiny est
erday.
Thandof orgetthatIcanlocateherany where
sheis.Mom andI ssydidn'
twantt otel
lme
whereissheIl aughedatt hem.
WhenIgothomeIf
oundMamacooki
ngi
nthe
ki
tchen.Lor
dImi
sshersomuch
Me:
“SawbonaMaNt
ombel
a”
Mom:“Hi
”herbackwasfaci
ngme.Iwalked
cl
osetoherandtur
nedheraroundt
ofaceme
shef
rowned“WhatdoyouwantMj ”
Me:“
Imissmybeauti
ful
mom Ican'
ttaket
his
si
l
enttr
eatmentany
more”
Mom:
“Youar
efi
nish”Thi
swoman!
Me:“Macomeonwhyar eyoutreat
ingmelike
thi
s.Thandoi
snotavi
ctim her
e.Shebrokemy
heartr
ememberyoushouldbeonmysi denot
hers”
Mom:“
Nc.nc.
nc”sheshookherheadandt
urned
t
oconti
nuewithhercooki
ng
Me:“
Mamapleasel
ettal
kaboutt
hisokay
”She
t
urnedandl
ookedatme
Mom:“Uphetheukuzi
tshelat
oomuchwenaMj
andl
okuzit
shelakwakhoukusebenzi
sa
ngei
si
khathiesi
wrongmi nanawesiy
alazi
i
qini
soukuthi
uyamt handauThando.
”(Youar
e
f
ullofy
oursel
fMj butyouandIknowt het
rut
h
t
hatyouloveThando)
Me:“Ain'
tnogir
lwill
makemeherpl ayground
Mama.Thandoneededt oseet hatnot
everythi
nggoesherway .Iwaspr eparedto
acceptwhateverdeci
sionshemakeandwhat
didshedo?Shemademebel ievewecanbe
togetherwhi
lesheknowst hatshewantt obe
withthatwhi
teguy.Pleasedon'tpunishmef or
standingwhatri
ghtforme”
Mom: “Youcontributedi nthismat terMj hady ou
tol
dhert hatyoulov eherf rom thewor dgot his
woul dhav ebeenpr ev ented.Stopsoundi nglike
shef orcedy outosl eepwi thhery ouwant edt o
fuckherasmuchasshedi d.Youf uckedher
knowi ngv erywellthatshehav en'tmadea
decisionsopar tl
yy ouar et oblamef oryour
heartache.Youshoul dhav ewai tedf orherto
makeherdeci si
onf i
rstbef or
eopeni ngherlegs.
Youseem t oforgott hatshel ovey out ooMj ,
shef eel youlov esomet imesmakeusdocr azy
things.Weactouronf eelingsandr eal i
zelater
thatweshoul dhav edeal twi ththepr edicament
differentlyandt hetimewer eal
izet hedamage
i
sal r
eadydone.St opt hist here'sababy
i
nv olvedher eani nnocentsoul thatisaf fected
whent hemot heri sst ressed.Thandoneedy ou
nowmor et henev erwear egi vi
nghert he
suppor tsheneedbutt r
ustmei tsnott hesame
ast heonecomi ngf rom y ou.Bei ngpr egnantis
scar yImeanknowi ngt hatt here'sagr owing
soul insideofy ourtummyi tsover whel ming
howmuchmor ea19y earol dfeel huh?You
needt otaker esponsi bil
it
yf ory ouract i
onsMj
andst opt hi
nkingabouty ourselfonl yy ouare
goingt obeaf ather.Youi mpr egnat edt hatgirl
andder ail
edt hebet termentofherf ut uresheis
yourr esponsi bilit
ynow. ”Wowt hewayshewas
dishingi toutt omei tt ouchmedeepl yi nmy
hear t“Youneedt ost opbei ngaf uckboyy ou
hav ey ourownf amilynowasy oungasy ouar e
andt here'
snot hi
ngy oucandot hesear ethe
consequencesofhav ingunpr otect
edsex.Thi s
familydependsony ou,theyneedy our
protecti
on,y ourguidancey ouneedt ostop
beingacr ybabyandbeaman.Ubododa
abukhulelwai tsti
menowy out oughenup
awaqi neamasendeMj ubey indoaday eka
ukutefahowwi lly
oupr otectiony ourchildorthe
mot herofy ourchil
dwheny ouar eaweakl ing.
Youneedt omakey ourgi rlandchi ldsafe
alway sotherwisether e'
ssomeguywhoi s
goingt otakeov er.Youhav ey ourfatherand
brothertolookupt o.”Shewi pedmyt earsand
pull
edmet oherbosom.
Me:“I
m sorr
yMamaIdidn'
treal
i
zealloft
his
thankyousomuchIpr
omiseIwi l
lmakeyou
proud”shepul
l
edmeback
Mom:“Iknowmyson.Il oveyouokaywhenI 'm
madaty oudoesn'tmeanIhatey ouIwil
lnever
hatey
oumyboy .Youaresti
l
l youngandy ou
aregr
owi ngupthere'
sal
ottolearnaft
erall
umunt uufundaaz afeandt herearemi stakes
boundt ohappenal ongt heway .WhenI 'm
sayingdon'tbeaweakl i
ngIdon' tmeandon' t
cryordon'texpressy ourfeel
ingsy ouar e
humannotast oney ouhav eahear tand
feel
ings.Crywheny ouwannacr ybutwheny ou
aredonecr yi
ngf i
ndawayhowt odeal wit
hthat
sit
uation.
”
Me:“
IloveyouMamaIdon' tknowwhatwoul
dI
bewithoutyou.YouaremynumberoneQueen
al
waysandf orever
”Shesmiledwi
del
y
Mom: “
Lov eyoutooboyy ouaremynumberone
Kingdon'ttel
lyourfatherIsai
dt hatthoughI
won'ttell
Thandot oo”Webot hl augh.Yousee
whyIdon' tseemy selfli
vingwithouther.I
swearI'dmar r
ythi
swoman.Godknewwhathe
wasdoi ngwhenhecr eat
edwoment hewarmth,
j
oy ,
peacet heybri
nginonesl ifeis
overwhelming.Iki
ssedherf oreheadand
huggedhert i
ghtl
y.
“Awsamnkonkoshel
eumfazi
wamindodayini
ngaka”Ibr
okethehugasmom andIl
aughed.
Me:
“Jeal
ousydoesn'
tsui
tyouDad”
Dad:
“Golookforyourwif
eandstophugging
ot
herpeople'
swives”Hesaidashewalkedto
Mamaandki ssedhersensel
essl
y“Il
oveyou
MommyQueen”
Mom:
“Il
ovey
out
ooDaddyKi
ng”
Dad:“
It
ssmell
slovel
yher
ewhatar
eyou
cooki
ngI'
m st
arvi
ng”
Me:
“FolksI'
m goi
ngt oRuster
bur
gtodayl
etme
gopreparef
ormyj ourney
”
Dad:
“Ruster
nburgkubani
?”het
ookacar
rotand
hadabiteofit
Me: “
YousaidImustst
ophuggi
ngy
ourwi
feso
I
'm goingt
ogetmine”
Mom:
“Whot
oldy
ou?
”
Me:
“NooneIhav
emyway
s”Iwi
nkedathershe
smil
edatme.“
Heypopsl
ook”Hedi
dIsnat
ched
thecar
rot
Dad:“Nhl oni phoi sinKZNwenadot i!
”Ilaughed
andr anawaywhi leeat inghi scar rot.Itooka
l
ongbat haf terhy gi
enepr ocessIgotdr essed
i
nt oabl ackj abarski nyj ean, whiteguessvneck
t-
shirtandwhi tekot exsneaker s.Iroughedup
mymowhackandspr ayedsomecol ognebef or
e
wear i
ngapol i
cewat ch.Il ookedmy selfinthe
mi r
rorImustsayIgetwhyt hem gi rl
sar e
droppingt heirpant i
es.Iwasgr ibbedbya
feeli
ngofconf i
denceandgr owt hy ouknow.I
packedf ewcl othesandsomeot herthings
whenIwasf i
nishedIr emov edamemor ysti
ck
from myl apt opandpackedi ti
nmybag.It ook
myshadesandphonet henheadedout .Dad
washel pi ngmom wi thcooki ngwear i
ngan
apront oot heyl ooksocut et ogethert hisisthe
kindofl ov eI '
m hopi ngf orbet ween
Thandol wami andI .
Me:
“I
'm of
ffol
ks”
Mom:
“Damny
oul
ooky
ummymyboy
”
Dad:“
Yummy ?aymi
naIseeblackandwhi
te
schooluni
for
m”hesai
dlaughi
ng
Mom: “
Haisukayouarejealousdon'
tmindhim
myboyuy ababayezwaIswearasol dIam Iwil
l
betemptedifyouweren'tmyson”shesaid
l
ookingatDadwi t
hasmi r
kwhohadt hi
s
ser
iouslook
Me:“ThankyouMamawenauy azazii
zi
ntoIsti
l
l
askmy sel
fwhichunderr
ockdidyoufi
ndthi
s
husbandofyours”Mom l
aughed
Dad:“Mrschool uni
formy ougotabigmout h.I
fI
wasThandobengi ngekengikqomebl ackand
whitephoawngekeoe”Mom andIcoul dn't
hel
pbutl aughathowhesai dthatwi
thaf emale
voi
ce.Mxm t hesetwoar ecrazyIwil
lnev erget
toruster
nburgIfIpaymyat t
enti
ontot hem.
Me:“I
m al
readyr
unni
ngl
atef
olksIlov
eyou
bot
h”IhuggedMamaandshoulderbumped
wit
hDad.
Dad:
“Don'
ttr
ytoohar
dSithol
emagicwi
l
lwor
k
i
nfavourf
oryou”Hewinkedatme
Me:
“Lov
eyouguy
s”
Them:
“Lov
eyout
ooson”
Dad:“
Iunder
standyouar
edr
ivi
ngav
rrr
rpaaa
butspeedki
ll
sMj ”
Me:
“Lookwhoi
stal
ki
ng”
Dad:
“Ngi
zokukhaba!
”Il
aughed
Me:
“Tomorr
owsfol
ks”AsIwasaboutwalkout
t
her
estoodpol
i
cemenonmydoor step.
Pol
i
ce1:
“Sur
endoda”
“YesPhoyi
sa”t
hatwasdadcomi
ngt
owar
ds
behindme.
Pol
i
ce1:
“Ibel
i
evet
hisi
saSi
thol
ehousehol
d?”
Dad:
“Yeshowcanwehel
pyou”
Pol
i
ce1:
”Wear
elooki
ngf
orMj
”
Mom:
”Whatf
ori
fImayask”
Pol
i
ce1:
”Wher
eishe?
”
Me:
“That
'sme”
Poli
ce1:“Youareunderar
restf
orsexual
assaul
t.
..”Icuthi
m off
Me:
“Sexual
assaul
t??
”
Poli
ce1:“
YesMissPal
esaModiselai
dasexual
assaul
tchar
geagai
nstyou.Youhavear
ight
..
.”
Mom:
“Whaaat
”
Me:“
NoIdidn'
tInev
erforcedmyselftohershe
i
smygi r
lf
ri
endshewantedit!
”Asifthey
l
ist
enedtometheycuf
fedme.
[
06/
02,
19:
39]W:
99
MAWAKHELOMUZIJUNI
OR
•
Whati swrongwi ththi
sgir
lhowcansheaccuse
meofsucht hing?Doessheknowhowi tsf
eel
s
l
iketobemol ested?Ibr
okeherheartI
understandbutshewentov erboar
dsexual
assaultpho?Isatinthecornerinthecel
ltears
makingt hei
rwaydownmycheeks.Ther ear e
twothingsIf eari
nmylifejai
landlosi
ngmy
mothert odeath.Iwi
lll
i
terall
ydieinj
ail
.What .
..
whatifIgot hrought
hesamepai nIwent
thr
oughwhenIwasmol estedIswearIwil
l di
e
thi
stime.
“Heycheeseboy
”saidoneoftheguysIwas
arr
estedwit
hsoIignor
edhim.“I
mt al
ki
ngto
youwena!”Hewalkedtomeandslappedme.I
gotupandbeatthehel
loutofhi
m.He
under
esti
matedmet oomuch.
“
Youcome! ”hesaidopeningtheburgl
arguards
f
ormeIwentout“ Youar efr
eetogo”Iwant ed
t
oaskquest i
onsbuttherewasnot i
mef orthatI
wantedtogetoutofthisdar
kplace.Ifounddad
wai
tingf
ormeIwentt ohisarmswithouta
word.Hesqueezedmet i
ght
ly
Dad:
“I
m sor
rymysonbutIhavedeal
twithi
t”I
coul
dn'
thel
pbutcr
yharderi
nhischest
.Those
hour
sintherefel
tli
keyears“
Sssshhi
tgoi
ngto
beokay
”Afterawhil
eIcalmeddown.“
Letgo
homeyouhavetorest”
Me:
“NoDadI
'
m goi
ngt
orust
erbur
gtoday
”
Dad:
“Ar
eyousur
e?”
Me:“
Yes”Wegoti
nhiscaranddrovehome.
Ti
mewasaround16pm.Issyat
tackedmewith
ahugwhenwegothome
I
ssy
:“I
'
m gl
ady
ouar
eback”Mom huggedme
t
oo
Mom:
“Ican'
tbel
i
evet
hatgi
rldi
dthat
.”
I
ssy:
“Shei
sungrat
eful
yazaf
terev
ery
thi
ngy
ou
hav
edoneforher”
Mom:
”Ar
eyouokayt
hough?
”
Me:
“Iwi
l
lbef
ineMamaI
'
m goi
ngt
orust
erbur
g”
Mom:
“Youcangot
omor
rowbaby
”
Me:
“Icanwai
tany
mor
eMama”
Mom:
“Okayt
rav
elsaf
eandcal
luswheny
ouget
t
her
e”Ihuggedev
ery
one
Me:
“Thanky
oudadsomuch”
Dad:
“Noproblem son”Ibi
dfar
ewellandlef
t.I
st
art
edatMrSi bi
y a'
scompanytheyall
owedme
i
nwithoutanyhassles.
Me:“
Greet
ingsMrSibi
ya”hel
ookedupatme
t
hroughhi
sglasses
MrSi
biy
a:“
Whatdoy
ouwantMj
”
Me:“Toapol
ogi
seIdi
dntmeant
oimpr
egnat
e
yourdaught
erI
'
mv er
ysorr
y”
MrSi bi
ya:“Sorrywon'tchangeany t
hinggo!”I
huffedonet hingIfoundithardtodoi sto
grovelbra.Ther esonepersonIbegmi nat hat
personisMama.It ookoutt hememor ysti
ck
andgav ehi m“ Whatisthis”Hetooki tand
i
nser t
edt hememor ysti
ckinhislaptopHe
gaspedashel ookedatt heevent
st hattake
pl
acei nhi shousewhenhei snotaround.Hi s
bi
tchesabusi ngThandol wami.Ihadt odeal
wi
ththismat t
ermysel
fsinceThandodidn'
t
wanttotel
lanyone.
“Mj.
.are”Iwal
kedout
l
eavi
nghi m dumbst
ruck
•
THANDOKUHLE
•
Stayi
ngwithAuntyKisgreat
.Ihadanear l
y
nightt
odayI'
mf or
everti
redandsick.Ihearda
knockont hedoor
Me:
“Comei
n”Aunt
yKwal
kedi
n
Aunt
yK:
”Heysweet
hear
tyouar
eawake?
”
Me:
“Yeahwhatt
imei
sit
?”
Aunt
yK:
“hal
fpastni
ne.
..y
ouhav
eav
isi
tor
”
Me:“Atthi
st i
meofthenight
?”shenoddedjust
thenMj walkedmyheartski
ppedabeatIdidn'
t
expecthim here“
Whatareyoudoinghere!
”
Mj
:
“Im sor
ry”
Aunt
yK:
“Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
saspace”she
walkedoutasMj
walkedcl
oseI
fIwasn'
tmad
athimI'
dsayhel
ookedyummy.
Mj:“
Thandol wami ”Thatwasenought omake
myst omachf l
utt
er.Hesatnextt omeandt ook
myhandsi ntohis“Im sorryforeveryt
hingIdi dI
wassel f
ishIknowpl easefor gi
veme.Iwantt o
beher efrom nowont i
llf
or everbabyplease
all
owmet ol
ov eyouunt i
l y
oupassout ,allow
met otreatyout hewayy oudeser v
e.I'm ajerk
assIknowpl easeforgivemeMaSi biya.Ilove
yousomuchIt ri
edt oli
vewi thoutyoubuti t
wasimpossi bleI'm sosor r
y ”
Tear
sfal
ldownmycheeks
Me:“Iknow Iwaswr ongbuty ouhur tmeMj I
fel
tsol onel
y,cheapandused.Thet womonths
havebeenhel lformeIneededy oubymysi de
buty ouwerenev ert
here.I'
m scaredMjIknow
nothingaboutbeingapar entl
etalonetobea
mot her.Igr
ewupwi thoutamot herwhatIfI
hurtmybaby ?Whati fIbecomet hehorr
ibl
e
mom ev
er,
whati
f.
..
.”hepr
essedhi
sfi
ngeron
myl
ips
Mj:“
Iknowt hefeeli
ngI '
m scar edtoobutwegot
eachot hernothingisgoingt obeatus.Ther e'
s
nocollegeoruni versit
ythatt eachhowt obea
parentitscomesnat ural
ly.Don'tbescar edI'm
herenowandIwi l
lforeverbeher emybaby ”
Lordknowshowl ongIwant edtoheart his.
.
mor etearsranmyf ace“Sshhdon' tcry”He
wipedmyt earswithhist humbs“ Ngi yaxoli
saI
promiset omakey ouandourdaught erhappy
al
way spl easeforgiveme”
Me:
“Iwon'
tl
ety
ouof
fthehookeasi
l
yMrS”
Mj:
“Idon'
tcareaslongasIgett obewithyou
not
hingmatterst
hanthatinmyl if
e”Icoul
dn'
t
hel
pbutsmi l
e”Imissthatsmileofyoursi
t
makemyhear tsi
nghaleluya”
Igi
ggl
ed“
Andy
ourgi
ggl
i
ngi
smusi
ctomy
ear
s”
Me:
“OhMj
”IswearIwasr
edf
rom bl
ushi
ng
Mj
:
“Il
ovey
ouThandol
wami
”
Me:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”Iwhi
sper
ed
Mj:
“Don'
tbescar
edsowakhalomuzi
ngot
hando”
heli
ft
edupmypj topandki
ssedmytummy .“
I
missyousomuch”
Me: “Imi ssyout oo”Hecuppedmyf aceand
kissedmepassi onatel
ydamnIhav emissed
this.Theki sslastedlongerhandsexpl
oringon
eachot hersbody .Butt
erfl
i
esdancedthrough
mybody .Hebr okethekisswelookedateach
otherf oramomentl i
steni
ngtothebeat
sofour
hear ts.
Mj
:
“Youwer
esl
eepi
ng?
”
Me:
“Yeah”
Mj:“
Daddywil
ltuckyouinMommy ”hetookoff
hi
ssneakersandclothesleavi
nghisbri
efst
hen
sl
ippednextt
ome.Hepl acedmeont opofhim
hi
sbodywaswar mitfel
tsogoodt obepressed
ontopofhim.“Goodnightmyl ov
e”
Me:“
Goodnightst
handwasami”heplay
edwi th
myhairwhi
lemakinghissi
l
lyj
okesunti
lIdozed
of
fthatwasthegreat
estwayevert
ofal
lasleep.
•
NARRATED
•
THEFOLLOWI
NGDAY
Zesuliwewaswai tingforPhakamani whowas
onhiswayhi shear twasbeat i
nghar d.Itwas
absolutelycl
eart ohim whyZesul iwe
summonedhi m.Howcoul dhebesost upidhe
knewshewi l
l f
indoutbutheyhewast ryi
nghis
l
uck.Par tofhim want edsobadt oletKatbe
unti
lsher eal
izeshemadeami st
akebutot her
partofhim wasi mpatienttodosohef eltli
ke
themor ehewai tthemor ehisKitKatwi l
llove
Muz iandf or
getabouthi mthatthedi l
emmahe
wasf acingsohechoset ogothroughwi t
hhi s
mom' sidea.“Uy i
sili
maPhakamani !”(Youar e
stupi
dPhakamani !
)hegr oanedclenchinghi s
j
aws.
“
AreyouokaySi
r?”askedhi
sdri
verashe
l
ookedathi
m ontherearmi
rror
.
PK:“YesI m okay ”hisvoicewasshaki ngIt
swas
noliethathewasscar ed.Mawakhel omuzi wi
ll
defi
nitelykil
lhimt hi
stimehet houghtto
hi
msel f.Thedr i
veseem sof asttohim.He
si
ghedheav il
yast hegateopenedf orthem to
getin.Hisdr i
v ermanoeuv redthecarand
parkeditnextt oIssy'
sPeugeot .Asmi l
ecrept
onhi sfaceashet houghtofthedayhebought
hi
sKi tKatthecarandi tmadehi m happythat
sheisst il
lusingi t
.
“
Wear
eher
eMrMngomezul
u”
PK:“Icanseethat!
”Hesnappedbuthewasn' t
gonnaapologise.Thedri
versteppedoutoft he
carandwentt otakePK'swheel chai
rfrom the
bootbeforehelpi
nghimt ogetoutoft hecar .
“Thankyou”Thedr i
versmil
edf aintl
ythengott o
thecaranddrov eoutasPK breat houtloudly
wheel
i
nghi
msel
ftowar
dst
hedoor
.
“
Comet hi
ssi
de”sai
dZesul
i
weassheappear
ed
f
rom t
hebackyar
dwher
eisherr
ondov
ali
s.
PK:
“Mr
sShowar
eyou”
Zes:
“I
mf i
newhataboutyou”PKst udi
edher
l
ooki
ngforanswersbutherfaceexpressi
on
coul
dn'
tgivehi
m anyanswers.
PK:
“I
m al
sof
ineMr
sSy
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulas
al
ways”
Zesul
i
wechuckl
ed
Zes:
“Thanky
oushal
lwe”
PK:
“Yes”
Zeswheel edPKt oherr ondoval.Theybothgot
i
n.ItswasPK' sfir
sttimet obei nZesrondoval
hi
sey esroamedar oundl ookingamay adiwhich
werehangi ngonther oof,izi
washoand
everyt
hingy oucouldfindendliniyomthandazi
asebenzelakuyoiziguli
.
Zes:
“Iwel
comeyoutomywor l
dyoudon'
thav
e
tobescar
ed”shenot
icedhowscar
edPKwas.
PK:
“I
m notscar
ed”hegi
ggl
edner
vousl
y
Zes:“
Isee”Shet ookat wistedr opethathas
dif
ferentcolours(ibhi
da)andputi tonthe
buckett hathadwat erwithincense' sashesthen
pull
edi toutagain.Shet wistedi ti
ntotwo
str
apssot hatitcanbeeasyf orhert oholdit
.
“Ungenzai snayiwenaPhakamani ”(Youare
makingmeaf oolPhakamani )shesai dwalki
ng
i
nci r
cles.Phakamani 'shear tskippedabeat
PK:
“Ma?
”
Zes:
“Nya?Yousendcooki esthathavelove
poti
ontomydaught erandthinkIwon'tfi
ndout
?
Youarethefooloryouaretheonewhoi s
makingmeaf ool?Ahhhshewon' tfoundout
sheisastupi
dpr ophetneh”
PK:“NoMamay ouarenotaf
oolI
'mthefoolI
m
sorryIshouldn'
thav
eohnkosi
yamiI
twas
stupidmov eeverInev
ermeantt
odisr
espect
yourgi
ftMama.Iwastoodesper
atet
owi n
backyourdaught
erngi
yaxol
i
saMa”(I
'm sor
ry)
Zes:
“Youknewthatt
hiswil
lbackf
ir
ehenceyou
wentthr
oughwithi
twhatshouldIdot
oy ou
huh?
”Shehithi
slegswit
hawetr ope.
PK:
“I
mreal
l
ysor
ryMama”
Zes:
“NoPhakamaniIwantyoutot
ell
mewhat
shoul
dIdotoyouortel
lmewhatwoul dy
oudo
toaguythatgi
veAselovepoti
on”
PK:“Idon'
twantt
oli
etoy ouMamaandtel
lyou
whatIwouldhavedonecozI'
ddothef
ir
stthing
thatcomestomymi nd”
Zes:
“Your eal
izehowdangerousthatmuti
is?”
shehithim againonhi
slegsthi
stimeit
spains
toPKt hathewinced
PK:“I
'm sor
ryIdidn'
tknowMamagaveme
thosecookiesIdon'tknowwher
edi
dsheget
thelovepotion”
Zes:
“I
m notsur
pri
sedbuty
ouwentt
hroughwi
th
heri
deaknowi ngverywel
lthati
swronghuh?”
shehitheronhislegswit
htheropecountl
ess
ti
mesPKgr oanedinpai
nashef el
tthepai
nin
hi
slegs
PK:“I
'
mr eal
lysorryMamapl easeforgi
vemeI
waswr ong.ThelovethatIhaveforyour
daughteri
sdrivi
ngmecr azy.Ican'
tstandto
seeherwithanotherman.Nott hatwhatIdi
dis
ri
ghtbuthowf arcanadespar at
emangot owin
backhissoulmat e”t
earsstr
eameddownhi s
face.
Zes:
“Whatyouweretr
yingtoachi
evedi
dn'
t
work.Si
hlei
stheonethatatet
hecooki
es
Phakamani!
”
PKgaspedi
nshock
“
Issywi
llhateyouIfIt
ellherwhatyouwer e
t
ryi
ngtodot oherandyouknowv erywell
how
mydaughteriswhenshel oveshelovetoo
muchandwhenshehat eshehatetoomuch. ”
PK:
“Mapl
easedon'
ttel
lherIcandoany
thi
ng
youwantmet odopl easeI'
m beggingyou”he
sobbedheregretwhathedi d.Thelastt
hinghe
wantishi
sKitKathatinghim.HeknowsKat
haveagoodhear tbutoncey ouhurtherorher
l
oveonesshewi llhat
ey ouforever
.
Zes:
“OrIcant
ellmyhusbandandhewi llt
each
youoneortwolessonscozitcl
earyouhaven'
t
l
earnbutIfIt
ellVi
ncentyouarehi
story
”
PKbur
sti
ntoal
oudcr
y
PK:“
Im sorr
yMamaI '
m sosososorry
”Zes
l
ookedathi m andfeltsor
ryf
orhi
m.Hehav e
beenthroughal otandsheknowsthatIssy
,her
husbandandVi ncentwill
notl
ett
hissli
de
Me:“Youhav ebeenthroughal otalr
eadyand
youcreatedunnecessar yproblem.IfVincent
canfindoutthatyouar ethereasonhiswi fe
wassi ckthewholenighthewi l
l massacreyou
myboyandIwi l
lhateittoseemygr andchil
dren
growingupwi t
houtaf ather
.IfIssyandy ou
weremeantt obet ogetheryouwi l
lbetogether
eveni
fit
'stakeyear
sri
ghtnowj
ustst
ayaway
fr
om herokay!
”
PK:
“YesMama”
Zes:
“St
andup!
”
PK:
“MaI
..
I.
.”
Zes: “Ngi
thesukuma! ”(Isai
dst andup!)shehit
hislegswi t
har ope.PKt i
redtost andupbuthe
fai
led.Zeshi therhar
deronhi sl egsmaking
Phakamani t
ogr owll
ikeananimal “Sukuma!”
(standup)Phakamani gotupslowl yhisjoi
nts
stretchedandpopped.Hecoul dn'tbeli
evethat
hewasst anding.
PK:
“I
m. .
I'
m..st
andi
ng..
..
wai
tyest
erdayyou
sl
appedmyl egsandmymanhoodw. ..
andnow”
hestut
teredduetoshockt
hatengulf
edhim.
Zes:
“Wal
k”
Het
ookf
ewst
epsl
i
mpi
nghesmi
l
edwi
del
y
PK:
“OhmyJesusI'
m walki
ng!I
m wal
ki
ng!”he
scr
eamedexci
tedl
y“Thankyousomuch
Mama!”Hegaveherahugehugsqueezi
ngher
i
ntohi
sarmsandpull
edbackthemomentithi
t
hi
m“ I
m sor
ry”
Zes:“
Uphindeuyenzelentooyenzil
e
ngi
zokunqumauqhoqhoqhomf anawami
seyzwana?”(dar
edowhaty oudidIwil
lcutyour
thr
oat)PKnoddedv igorously“
Siyezwana?”(
Do
youhearme)
PK:
“YeboMa”
Zes:“
Hambaut sheleunyokoukut
hi
ngi
mbheki l
e”(Gotell
yourmotherthatI
'
m
watchingher)
PKsatonhi
swheel
chai
r
PK:
“Ngi
yabongaMama”(
Thanky
ouMama)
Zes:
“LeavebeforeIchangemymi nd”PK
wheeledhimselfout
.JustthenSihlewithher
husbandandsonwal kedin.Theygr eet
edand
satdown.
Vi
n:“
Mywi
fet
oldmewhaty
ousai
dMaSi
thol
eI
haveseenyouhel
pingpeopleIhopey
ouwi l
l
hel
pmysonandmywi feshewasntf
eeli
ng
goodthewholeni
ght.Sheisdi
zzyandweak”he
sai
dlooki
ngathiswifewhowassweating.
Zes:
“Thankyouforcomingwell
yoursonwill
hel
phimself
.Fir
stletmestar
twithyourwi
fe”
Vin:
“Pl
easedothatI
mlosi
ngmymindnowI
don'
tknowwhattodo.”hi
svoi
cebr
oke
Zes:“
Everyt
hingwi l
lbeokaydon'tworr
y”Sihl
e
andZeswentt othemainhousewher eSihl
ehad
todri
nkallfi
velit
resofbucketandv omit
ever
ythi
ng.Aftershewasdonet heymadet hei
r
waytotherondov al
Si
hle:
“If
eel
bet
tert
hanky
ouMama”
Zes:“
Im gl
admychildnextt
imestopeati
ng
thi
ngsthatdoesnotbel
ongtoyou”Si
hlelooked
athermom perpl
exed
Si
hle:
“Idi
dn'
teatany
thi
ngt
hedoesn'
tbel
ongt
o
me”
Zes:
“Mmh”Theygoti ntherondoval
.Zessat
downont hematasherdaught erdidso.“Wel
l
Zwanefamily”shelookedatMzwakhewho
wasinhisworld.“
Mzwakhei snotsuf f
eri
nga
mental
breakdown.Hehav et occonfesswhat
hedi
dtoPhakamani ”
Vi
n:“
Im notsur
eI'
mfol
l
owi
ng”
Zes:
“Phakamani
'
sr ecentbehavi
ouri
stheresul
t
ofwhatMzwakhedi dtohim.Heisnotcrazy
Mngomezuluancestorsarefi
ghti
ngwit
hhi m.
”
Sihl
e:“
Mom arey out
ell
i
ngusthatPhakamani
abusedIssybecauseofwhatMzwakhedid?
”
Zes:
“Yes”Vi
ncentl
ookedathi
sson
Vin:
“Mzwakhewhatdi
dy oudo”Mzwakhe
l
ookedathisfat
herbl
anklyandgi
ggl
edaft
er
that
Zes:
“Hewon'tt
ell
youwehav etocal
l
Phakamanit
obeghisancestor
stofree
Mzwakhethanaft
erthathewil
lbeabletot
alk”
Vi
n:“
Asl
ongashewi
l
lbeokay
”
Zes:
“Goodt
henIwi
l
lcal
lhi
m”
Si
hlest aresatherhusbandwitha"yousee
whathav eyoudonel ook"whostar
edherback
wit
h"I'm sorr
y"l
ook.ZescalledPkandhetold
hi
mt ocomebackandheagr eed.“
Thismatt
er
i
nvolvedmanypeopl eIssyhavetoknowwhy
Phakamani havebeenbehav i
ngthewayhedid”
Sihl
e:“
OhGodIdon'tl
i
ket
his”shebur
ri
edher
faceonherhands
Zes:
“Wecangowai tinthemainhouse”Theyal l
wenttothemainhouseVincentholdinghisson.
Theywenttotheloungeandsatdown
i
mpatientl
ywhil
eZeswentt ocallhisdaughter
andhusbandwhower ebusyinthemi ni
studio.
”DaddyKing”
Wakhe:
“YesMommyQueen”hesai
dashe
wal
kedtowar
dsher
Zes:
“Wehav
eameet
ingi
nthel
oungeIwi
l
lli
ke
y
ouguy
stoj
oinus”
Wakhe:“
Theyar
ehere?”heknowsthatt
here'
s
goi
ngtobeameeti
ngbutnotalloft
hedetai
ls
Zes:
“Yes”
I
ssy
:“I
'
m notneededr
ight
?”
Zes:“
Youaresweetycome”Theywentout
melanchol
ydescendedtoZesul
i
we.Shefel
tli
ke
cr
yingandscreamingi
nagony.
Wakhe:
“Ar
eyouokaybaby
”
Zes:
“Uhy
eyes”
Wakhe:
“GoIssywear
ecoming”Issywal
ked
awaywhil
eWakhehel
dhiswife'
swaistl
ooki
ng
atheri
ntheeyes“
Whati
swrongmyl ove”
Zes:
“I
..
feel
li
kecry
ing.
.somet
hingbadi
sgoi
ng
tohappenhoney”
Wakhe:
“Li
kewhat
?”
Zes:
“Idon'
tknowbutmyhearti
ssoreWakheI
wanttocry”shewhi
sper
edtear
sgli
steni
ngi
n
herey
es
Wakhe:
“Dontworrymylovewhenwedonewi th
t
hismeeti
ngy ouwil
lconsul
ttheancest
orsand
Godtogiv
ey ouanswers”
Zes:
”Okayt
hanky
ou”
Wakhe:“
Don'
tcryokay”Hewipedhertearswit
h
hi
sthumbsandkissedherdeepl
ypressingher
agai
nstthewal
l
.“Ilov
ey ou”
Zes:
“Il
ovey
out
oo”shewhi
sper
ed
Theyshar
edawarm hugt
hatl
astedforawhi
l
e
thent
heymadet
heirwaytot
helounge.
I
ssy:
“Mom whatisgoi
ngonwhatisthi
s
meet
ingabout”WakheandZessatdownnext
t
oeachother.
Zes:“
BepatientIssy”JustthenFl
orawal kedi n
withPKinhiswheel chai
r.Hegreetedandt hey
greet
edback.“ I
mt heonewhocal ledthi
s
meetingI'
m suresomeofy ouarewonder ing
whatit'
sallabout.WellI
tturnedoutthatther e'
s
someonebehi
ndPhakamani
'sabusi
ve
behav
iorandt
hati
sMzwakhe.”
Wakhe:
“Amen!
”
I
ssy
:“What
?”
PK:
“Huh?
”
Theyal
lsai
datonce.
Zes:“
Phakamani youhavetobegy our
ancestorstofr
eehim sothathecanconf ess
thetruth”Zeswenttofet
chani ncenseinher
rondoval.Shel
ighti
tandgavePhakamani to
makeMzwakhei nhal
eitwhil
ehebeggedhi s
ancestorstofr
eehim.Mzwakhel ookedat
everyoneintheroom.“Mzwakhewhatdi dy ou
dotoPhakamani ”Mzwakhet ol
dev ery
thing
cryi
ngwhi leot
herswereshocked.
PK:“
Yousonofabi t
chIknewthatt
herewas
somethi
ngwr ongwit
hme.Eveninhighschool
I
haveneverf
oughtwithany
one.”heroar
edin
anger
Mzwakhe: “I
'm sorr
ybr aI .
..
”hecoul dn'tf
ini
shas
PKpunchedhi m.Ev er
y onewasshockedt hathe
canwal kexceptZes.I ssywasshaki nginanger
andhur thertearsfall
i
ngdownef f
or t
lessly.
Whi l
eev er
yonewer etry i
ngst opPKf rom
punchingMzwakheshedi sappearedt ohis
folksbedroom wher eherf atherhadchanged
theplacewher ehehi dt hegunbutI ssybei ng
Issy,sheknowswher ehehi dit
.Shegr abbedit
andwentt olounge.
I
ssy:
“WhyMzwakhehuh?Whyy oudon'twant
metobehappy ?”shesai
dpointi
ngthegunt o
Mzwakhetearsstr
eamingdownherface.
Ever
yonescreamed,t
heyknowhowI ssyis.
Zes:
“I
ssypl
ease.
..
”
I
ssy:“
ShutupMaI'm nott
alki
ngtoyou!I
'm
tal
ki
ngtothi
sasshole!
”Shewipedhertears
wit
hthebackoftheotherhand“WhathaveI
donetoyoubast
ardhuh?Whydoy ouhat eme
thi
smuchMzwakhe!!”
Mzwakhe:
”Idon'
that
eyouKatIl
ovey
ou.
..”
I
ssy:
“Bul
l
shi
t!Youdon'
tcausesomeoney
ou
l
ovesomuchpain!
!”
Wakhe:
“Babygi
vemet
hegun”hesai
dwal
ki
ng
t
oher
Issy
:”Nodad!Iwantthi
sbastar
dtofeelthepai
n
IwentthroughbecauseofwhathedidtoPK!I
almostlostmydaughter
!”ZesandSi
hlewere
cryi
ngtoo.
Wakhe:
“Iunder
standsweet
heartbutyoudon'
t
wantt
odosomet hi
ngyouwil
lregr
et.
.”
I
ssyl
aughedoutl
oudcut
ti
ngof
fherdaddy
Issy:
“Understand?Nodaddyy oudon't
!You
don'tknowt hepainIwentthrough,
youdon't
knowt hepainPKputmet hroughbecauseof
thisbastar
d.Ilostmymar ri
agebeforeitev
en
beganbecauseofhi m daddy.Ialmostl
ostmy
daughterbecauseofhim!”
Dad:
”Iknowbaby
..
.”
I
ssy:“
Sincewhennowhav eyoubecomeapussy
daddyhuh?Thisbastar
ddestr
oyedmyli
fef
or
what?Justbecausehefai
ledt
otakecar
eof
me?’
Zes:
”Ha.
..
”
I
ssy
:”ShutupMamaokay
!shutt
hef
uckup!
”
Vi
n:“
I'
m sor
ryI
ssywear
ereal
l
ysor
ry”
I
ssy
:”Sor
rydoesn'
tchangeany
thi
ngVi
ncent
!”
Mzwakhe:“Kat
”hest oodup“ KatI'
m sorr
yfor
thepainIputy
out hroughIknowt hatyouare
ti
redofmysorriesbutIwanty ouknowf rom t
he
deepestofmyhear tthatI
m sorry
”tearsrol
led
downhi sf
ace
I
ssy:
“Yesy ouar
eri
ghtI'
mt i
redofyoursorr
iesI
wanttofeelhowpai
nfuli
tis.
..
”shecouldn'
t
f
ini
shasMzwakhesnat chedthegunfrom her
Mzwakhe:
“Ya"
llgoingtoli
stent
omewhet her
youli
kei
tornot!
”hepoi nt
edthegunto
ever
yoneI
ssy,VincentandWakhedidn'
teven
f
li
nchwhi
l
eot
her
swer
escr
eami
ng.
Vi
n:“
Son.
..
”
Mzwakhe: “Imt heonewhoi sdoi ngt het alki
ng
nowdad”her ubbedt hegunagai nsthi shead
thenki ssedi t
.“ KatI 'm sorryf orev erythingI
hav edonet oy oubaby .Idi dn'tmeant ohur tyou.
Insteadoff i
ght ingf oryouf air
lyIchoset obe
dirt
yandf ort hatI '
m sor ry.Al lIwant edwasy ou
nextt ome.Iwassodesper atet owi ny ouback
ont heot hersi deIwant edt omakedadhappy .I
want edy out obepr oudofmedadnott hatI'
m
blami ngy ouf orwhatIdi d.Youar eagood
fatherI'm sogr ateful f
oraccept i
ngmeand
l
ov ingme.Si hl et hanky ouf orbei ngt heper son
youar ey ounev ertreatedmeunf airl
yasy oung
asy ouar ey ougav ememot her l
ylov eandf or
thatIwi llfor
ev erbegr at eful.Phakamani my
manI '
m sor ryf orev erythingIdi dtoy ouIwas
j
eal ousIwantt ot ellt
hatI 'm gr atefulforraising
mysonandgi v ingKatandmysont helov eI
fail
edt ogi vet hem.Youar e1000t i
mesamanI
canneverbe.Isurr
enderboyshei syoursI
wasn'tr
eadyforherandIwillneverbeshei
s
toogoodforme.Takecar eofherasal way
s.I
l
ov eyouKatsomuch”Het henshothi msel
fon
theheadandcoll
apsedwhi l
eev ery
one
screamedinshockVincentwentdownonhi s
kneesandshookhi m
Vin:”
Mzwakhe..noyoucan'
tdothistome!
Mzwakhewakeupndoda! ”hescreamed
shaki
nghisson.Wakhekneltdownnextt
oVin
andfeltMzwakhe
Wakhe:
“I'
m sor
ryman”
Vin:"
Nooo!”hecriedwakinghissonupbuthe
wasnomor e.Theloudpainfulcryfi
lledthe
l
oungenoneoft hem expect
edt hi
s.Asmuchas
Mzwakhedi dwr ongbutnoonewant edhim
deadev enIssy
.Inli
fenoteveryoneofusget
secondchancesort hirdchances.Begr atef
ul
wheny ougotitandusei twisel
y.Mzwakhewas
givenasecondchancehecoul dhavef oughtfor
Katf air
lybuthechoset heev ilway .Hemi sused
thesecondchancehewasgi vennotf orget t
ing
thepr essurehewasget tingfrom hi sfather .He
grewupwi thnof athertogui dehi m.Fi ndinghi s
fatherwashi sbi gbreak.Henev erwant edt o
disappointhisfather.May bejustmay beI f
Vincentt ol
dhi m whattodot owi nI ssynoneof
thiswoul dn'
thav ehappenedbutwecan' tputall
thebl amet oVincentatt heendoft heday
Mzwakhewast hestarr
ingofhi sl i
fe.The
choiceshemadei nhislifearet her esultwesay
mayhi ssoulrestinpeace.Hewi l
l alway slivei
n
everyhear thetouched.Manget he,
Lindamkhont owenaowaseMagweni ,Nsel e,
wenaowasNt shentekaaPhi kela,Zikode,
Ntshoshol alangoxol o.
[
06/
02,
19:
39]W:
100
KHETHOKUHLE
•
AMONTHLATER
It
sbeenamont hsi nceMzwakhedi edIwoul d
belyingifIsayImadepeacewi thhi sdeat hcoz
Ihaven't.Ever yonekeept ell
ingmet hati t'snot
myf aultthathechoset oendhi slif
ebutIf eel
responsible.HadInotpul ledoutagunhe
wouldn'thav eki ll
edhi msel f
.Inev erwant edhi m
deathIwasgonnashoothi sl egssot hathecan
feelthepai nPKwasgoi ngt hr ough, si
ttingon
thewheel chai randnotbei ngabl etodo
anythingbyhi msel f .PKwasgoi ngt hrough
worseal readyhedi dn'tneedt hepai nMzwakhe
addedonhi m.Ij ustwant edt ot eachhi ma
l
essont hatwoul dhav emadehi ml ear nt his
ti
mecozhenev erl earn.Hei st heonet hatt ol
d
mehowhewasn' treadybl abl ay ethedi d
worset henwhathedi dbef ore.Theguynev er
want edtoseemehappyhej usthadaf unny
wayofshowi ngmet hathel ov emehowev erI
feelsorryhim.Mz wakhehadbeent hroughal ot
henev erhadi teasyt othepoi ntthati tchanged
him.Weal lremembert hesweetMzwakhet hat
l
ov edmeandev eryt
hingbuti namer esecond
hebecamet hisper sonIcoul dntr ecogni se.We
aredifferentpeopl eandwemani festanddeal
withpai ndiff erently.Notev eryoneofuscan
tacklethist hingcal l
edl i
feespeci allywheny ou
hadl ifeMzwakheandIhad.Hav ingnoonet o
fendf oryouandpr otecty ouisr eal shit.That
kindofl i
fepl ayahuger ol
ei nper son'sbehav ior.
Thesuf f
eringandpai nMzwakhewentt hrough
changedhi mi nt oagr eedy ,
selfi
sh, mani pulative,
evilperson.Hei swhathet urnedoutt obe
becauseoft hel ifehehadwhenhegr ewup.I t's
funnyt hatitsonl ynowt hathei sdeadIr ealize
allofthis.Int hiswor l
dy oucanbeany t
hingy ou
wantanddowhat every ouwantbutbecar ef ul
thatyoudon' tl oset hesightofwhoy ouar e.
Resent ment , anger ,painwasi nstill
edi n
Mzwakhe' sl i
featav eryyoungage.Iar ef orone
stil
lsufferi
ngf rom t heef f
ect soft hel if
eIhad.I
hav euncont rollableanger ,whenI '
m angr yIlose
mymi ndandactoni mpul se.Igr ewupwi tht his
angerforMamaf ornotshowi ngusourf athers
anddeser tusaf t
erthat.Ialwayst hought
may beifsheshowedusourf at
her sli
fewoul d
havebeendi ffer
entIlongedt ohav eaf ather
Zim saidthat'
sar easonIf oundsol aceinmen
comet ot hi
nkofi tMzwakhehur tmeIf ound
solacetoPK.Hehur tmeIf oundsol aceto
Tbose.PKhur tmeonceagai nIfoundsol aceto
Muz ibuttrustmewhatIf eelforMuzi i
smor e
thenthatI..
..
“It
sher !
”Iwasst art
ledbyscr eams
behindme.Iwasi nwool iesthewayI '
m soi n
l
ov ewithbabycl othesIwant edtogetAse
somecl othes.Twogi rl
scamet omeasI
pushedt hetroll
ey.
Gi
rl1:
“HeyI
ssy
”
Me:
“Hel
l
o”
Gi
rl2:
“Weloveyoursi
ngl
eit
sdopecanwet
ake
aself
iepl
ease”
Me:“Thanky
ougi
rl
s..
.yeahsur
e”Wet
ookf
ew
snaps
Gir
l1:“
CanIhugy oupl
ease”Igiggl
edand
huggedbothofthem “
Yousmel ll
ovel
y,y
ouar
e
beauti
ful
GodIloveyou.Youinspir
eme”I
smil
ed
Me:
“ThanksIl
ovey
out
oobabe”
Theywal kedawayscr eami ngateachot heryou
cant ellthatwer ehappyt oseeme.DaddyandI
hav ebeenwor kingonasongandt hisiswhat
myl ifehav eturnedi ntowi thintwoweeksofmy
release, t
hesongr ichedpl atinum withi
nt hefirst
week.I 'm want edf ori nterv i
ewsl ef
tri
ghtand
cent erit
scr azyandov erwhel mingIt el
l you.For
thef ir
sttimei nmyl ifesomet hi
ngisgoi ngthe
wayIwi shed.Ismi ledt omy selfandpushedt he
troll
eyt othet i
ll
.Ipai dt henheadedout .Ihave
beencaughtupi nav er ydifficultsi
tuat
ionaf ter
fi
ndi ngoutt het ruthbehi ndPK' sabusive
behav i
or.Thiswast hehar destdeci si
onIev er
hadt omakei nmyl ife.Idr ov etoMuzi '
s
apar tmenthehav ebeenher eal oteversince
wear etogether .Iwassi ngingal ongwantt o
wantbyJasonDer
ulo.
Me:
“I
tshar
dtosl
eep
Igott
hesheetont
hef
loor
Not
hingonme
AndIcan'
ttakei
tnomor
e
I
tsahundr
eddegr
ees
Igotonef
ootoutt
hedoor
Wher
ear
emykey
s?
CauseIgot
tal
eav
eyeah
I
nthebackoft
hecab
It
ippedt
hedr
iveraheadoft
ime
Getmet
her
efast
Igoty
ourbodyonmymi
nd
Iwanti
tbad
Oohj
ustt
het
houghtofy
ougetmesohi
gh,
so
hi
gh
Gi
rly
ouar
etheoneIwantt
owantme
Andi
fyouwantmegi
rly
ougotme
Ther
e'snot
hingInoIwoul
dn'
tdo,
Iwoul
dn'
tdo
Justt
ogetupnextt
oyou
Justt
ogetupnextt
oyou”
Iwasdr aggingthedri
vebuti tseemsso
pointlesscozonewayort heot herIwillget
there.Ifoundhi minthekitchentoplessand
wear i
ngshor t
swithnoshoeson.Muzi hav e
beaut i
fulfeeteveryoucouldeatt hem.Ist ared
athim ashedr ankwaterfrom theglass.Ist i
ll
fi
ndi thardt obeli
evethatonehumanbei ngcan
behotl ikethisImeanhowi sthatevenpossi bl
e.
Ithi
nkhef eltmypresencecozhet urnedand
l
ookedatme.
“Heyther
eareyouoglingme?”hesmi rkedIbi
te
mytoungeandwal kedtohi
m.Iwr appedmy
armsaroundhi
sneckandki ssedhim deepl
y
pouri
ngmyheartintotheki
ss.“Wowwhathav e
Idonetodeser
vet
hiskneeswobbl
i
ngki
ss”I
gi
ggled
Me:
“Il
ovey
ouMuzi
”
Muz
i:
“Il
oveyout
ooThandi
l
e”Isi
ghedheav
il
y
“
Whatisi
t”
Me:
“Wher
ear
etheki
ds?
”
Muz
i:
“Yourt
winbr
othert
ookt
hem out
”
Me:“
Comelet'
ssitdown”It
ookhi
shandasIled
hi
mt othel
i
v i
ngr
oom.HesatdownIsatontop
hi
m str
addl
inghi
m.
Muzi:“
Whatisityouar
eworr
yingme”myhear
t
st
artedtobeatfast
.OhGodpleasegi
veme
st
rengthtodothis.
Me:”Il
oveyousomuchMuzi youar
eaper fect
guyIcouldeverwishfor.Icouldgoonunt i
lthe
sunsetj
ustdecri
bingthelovi
ngpersonyouar e.
Youaresoamazi ngyoumakemel augh,smile
butmostimportantl
yyoumakemef eelspecial
.
Thankyousomuchf orsavi
ngmyl i
fe.Ifeell
ike
I
'mthemostwomanlov
edi
nthi
swor
ld”I
br
eathedoutl
oudl
y
Muzi
:
“Isenseabut
”hesai
dlooki
ngi
ntomy
ey
es
Me:”Ican' tkeeponly i
ngtoy ouandmy self
Muz omuhl eI'
m sorr
yf orthepainI'
m aboutt o
puty out hroughLordknowsI twasnev ermy
i
ntent i
ont odoso.Youar eoneofaki ndbutI
wasn' treadyforyouMuzi myhear tstil
lbelong
toPKI '
mr eall
ysorry.Iwishonedayy oufindit
i
ny ourhear tt
oforgi
v eme. ”Tearsfal
l downmy
face“ Ngiyaxoli
saNonkosi ”Iwhisperedandbi te
myl owerl ipthatwasshi veri
nguncont rol
labl
e.
Muz i
:“Ikeptar oom forthi
sdisappointmenti n
myhear t
.Itwasev identenoughthaty oust i
ll
l
ovet hedudeev enwheny outr
iedtohi deit
fr
om meIsawt hr
oughy ou.I'
m notblami ngyou
babyIunder standbutt hatdoesn'
tmeani tsnot
hurt
ingme.I thurtdeepdownIf eelli
kedy i
ngI
guessIwi llbeokayIadmi rey
ouf orbeing
honestwithmef ort
hatIwil
lfor
everbe
grat
eful.
”hisvoi
cebrokeandhiseyeswer
e
sparkl
ingtear
s
Me:“
Im sorr
yIwishthi
ngsdi
dn'
thavet
obel
i
ke
t
hisMuzi Iwi
sh.
..”Ibur
sti
ntoasob
Muz i
:“IknowbabyIknowdon' tworryIwi l
lbe
okayandknowt hatIdon'that
ey ouinsteadI
admirewhaty oudid.Itwassobr aveofy ou.”
Godthisguywhyi shesoper f
ecthowIwi sh
thi
ngsdi dn'
thavetobet hiswaybutt heheart
wantwhati twant.
Me:“I
m sorr
y..
.”heshutmeupwi thakisswe
ki
ssedpassionat
elytasti
ngthesaltofourt
ear
s
astheybecomeonei nourmout hs.Wepull
ed
backaft
erawhi l
eandl ookedateachother
.I
wipedhist
ears“Im sorr
y”
Muz i
:
“ St
opapologi
singIwon'thateyouIlove
youtoomucht ohatey ou.”Hewipedmyt ears
wit
hhi sthumbsandpr essedmeagai nsthi
s
chest.Iburi
edmyheadi nhisneckinhali
nghis
l
ov el
yscent .West ayedlikethatforgood45
minuteswi thoutsay i
ngawor dtoeachot her.I
t
wasar eallyanemot i
onal goodbye.Muzi have
tobeoneoft hoseguy swhoar eperfectin
everyt
hing.Hei sal ovi
nggent lemant hatknow
howt otreatal adymakeherf eelspecialyi
kho
njeukuthiInhli
ziyoayiphakelwaIdlalokhu
ekuthanday o.“
Thel ast3mont hswerebest
everIwillalway scheri
sht hem.Iwishy ouall
thebestIlov ey ou”
Me:“Il
oveyoutoo”WesqueezedeachotherI
coul
dnthelpbutstar
tcryi
ngal
lov
eragain.Why
didi
thavetobelikethi
s?HowIwishIcanhave
them bot
h.
Muz i
:“Dontcr yThandileyouarehurt i
ng
me. .
.sshht hul
ast handwasami ”AfterawhileI
cal
meddownmyheadwaspai nfulandmynose
wasbl ocked.“ Iwil
lgogetat i
ssue”Hepl aced
meont hecouchanddi sappearedthencame
backwi tharollofti
ssue.Hesatnextt omeand
rol
ledi tinhishandt hentor
eit.“Saynhii
”he
saidpl
aci
ngati
ssueonmynoseIgi
ggl
edand
blowmynose.Hewipedmecl
eanandki
ssed
mynose.
Me:“
Thankyousomucht heywayyouhandl
ed
al
lofthi
sit
sjustaddonhowperfecty
ouare”
Muz i
:“
Truthal
way
ssetonefree.I
tsbet
terthen
keeplyi
ngt omei
nhl
unguyanamuhlaayif
ani
neyakusasa”
Me:“
Iwishyoufindsomeoneyoudeservemina
Inev
erdeservedyoufr
om thef
ir
stplaceyou
aret
ooperfectforme”
Muzi:
“Don'
ttalkl
ikethatyouar
ethemost
wonderf
ulwomanIhav eevermet”Godbl
ess
t
hewomant hatwil
ll
ov et
hisdude.
Me:
“Ihav
etogetgoi
ng”
Muz
i:
“Thi
sisi
tneh”hebr
eat
hedoutl
oudl
y
Me:“Yeah”Iwhisperedaudi
bleenoughf
orhim
tohear.Webothst oodupandlookedateach
otherwit
htearyeyes.Hepull
edmet ohimsel
f
andki
ssedmepassi onat
elygrabbingmybut tI
moanedsoftl
y.Helif
tedmeupIcl ampedmy
l
egsaroundhiswaisthecuppedmybut tgi
vi
ng
i
tasqueeze.Aft
erawhi l
ewepul loutand
l
ookedateachother
Muzi
:
“CanImakel
ovet
oyouj
ustt
hisonel
ast
t
ime”
Me:
“NoAsei
sst
il
lsmal
l
”
Muzi
:
“Thet
ipwon'
tdoanydamage”hesqui
nted
hi
seyes
Me:“I
twi ll
causemor edamagey ouknowtheti
p
wil
lendupbei ngthewholedi ckthenextt
hing
I
'm walkinglikeapengui
n”hel aughedandput
medown.Muzi '
ssexgameoutoft hi
sworl
dI
wouldn'thavemi ndtogetitjustf ort
hel
ast
t
ime.Damnt heguyknowhi st hi
ngshamehe
t
ouchev erychordmybeing.
Muz i
:“
Youar
eri
ght”hewi
pedhist
eart
hat
escapedWesharedawarm hugt
henImade
mywayoutasIdidsoIkeptl
ooki
ngathi
m unt
il
Iwasoutofhi ssight.Idon'
tknowwhatmade
met ot urnandpeekathi m Isawhi m sitti
ngon
thefloorcr yi
ngl i
keababymyhear tbrokeinto
teensypi ecesIwant edt ohughi m andt el
lhi
m
I'
m notgoi ngany wher ebutIcouldn'tgo
throughwi thitIrant omycarandst ar
tedit
thendr oveout .Itri
edt oceasethet earsbut
theyescapedr el
entlessl
yblindi
ngmysi ght.
Uponar r
ivalIwalkedpassedt hereceptioni
st
thatkeptcal l
ingmebutIdi dn'tmindher .I
pushedt hedooropenhel ookedupatme
PK:
”Ki
tKat”Ibur
stint
otear
shest
oodup
i
mmediatelyandcametome.
“
SirIt
ri
edt
ost
opherbut
..
.”
PK:
“DontworryPam Igoti
tjustgetmeagl
ass
ofwat
erplease”
Pam noddedandwalkedoutasPKscoopedme
upandwenttositonthecouchpl
aci
ngmei n
hi
sthighs
“
Whati
swr
ongsweet
hear
t”Icr
iedhar
der
“
LamiandAsear
eokay ?
”Inodded“
Thenwhat
i
sitmylov
eyouarescari
ngme”
Me:
“I
..
.”Iwasdi
stur
bedbyaknockatt
hedoor
PK:“Comei n”Pam walkedwi t
hagl assofwat er
.
Shegav ePkt heglass“Thankyou”shest r
utted
out.“Her edrink”Hehelpedmedr inkthewat er
ofwhi chIdr ankhalfofit
.Heplaceddownt he
gl
assandmademeswi vell
edaroundsot hatI
str
addl eshim“ Tal
kt oyourchocolatecake
baby”
Me: “
Iloveyoumor onIlovey ousomucht hatI
fai
ledt oli
vewithouty ouespeciall
yaf t
erfindi
ng
outthatMzwakhewast hecausef oryour
behav i
or.IknowIshoul dn'thavegav eupon
youandIbr okemypr omisetost i
ckwithy ou
throughthickandt hin.Ishouldhav eknown
therewasmor et othisI'
mr eall
ysorryforgivi
ng
upony oubaby .Iwanty oubackPhakamani
Mngomezul uyouhav eaplaceinmyhear tthat
nooneel secanhav e.”Icouldn'
treadhisfacial
expr
essi
oni
twasbl
ank
PK:“
Im sor
rymylov
ebutIdecidedtogiveSi
ya
andIachancetostar
tov
er”thatfel
tli
kea
swordpenetr
ati
ngi
nmyheart
Me:
“Oh”It
ri
edt
ogetupf
rom hi
slaphel
ocked
mein“PK.
..
”
PK:
“I
m sor
ry”
Me:“Noi
tsf
ine”mor
etear
senguf
ledmyey
es.I
gotupfr
om hi
m
PK:
“Kat
..
.”
Me:“IgetitIwishyouallthebest ”Iwhi sper
ed
andwal kedouttearscloudi
ngmyv i
sion.Ican't
beli
evejustyester
dayhewasbeggi ngmet o
comebackt ohimt odayhemov edonwowbut
whatwasIexpect ing.Igotinmycarandcr ied
myl ungs.Myheartwasbey ondshat teredI
start
edt hecardri
vinghomewhi lecrying.I
mademybedIshal ll
ieonitrighttothi nkI
brokeMuzi '
sheartfornothi
ngdest r
oy edmet o
thecore.Therewasunf amil
i
arcarinthedri
v e
yardIparkednexttoitandwipedmyt earsthen
gotout.Itooktheplast
icsbagsinthebootand
mademywayi n.Iwasneverreadyfort
he
personIsawt alki
ngwithMamai nthelongue
whohadAsei nherarms
Me:“Whatar
eyoudoingher
eareyounot
supposetobei
njai
l
!”Helookedatme
“
Kat
”
Me:
“Mamawhati
sthi
smandoi
ngher
e!”
Mom: “
Hesaidhei
swait
ingforyousweethear
t
hewanttotal
ktoyouIwil
lgiveyouguyssome
space”
Me:“
Idon'
twantt
otalkt
ohi
m Mama”t
ear
s
gl
i
stenedi
nmyey es
Spha:
“I
m sor
rymychi
l
d..
.”
Me:
“I
m noty
ourchilduncl
eSphamandl
ajust
l
eav
emypar ent
'shouse”
Spha:
“Iwantt
oapol
ogi
semychi
l
dpl
easegi
ve
meachanceIknowImi
str
eat
edyouand
ThandoI
'
m her
etoapol
ogi
se.
..
”
Me:“Anapologywon'tchangethef actthatyou
molestedThandouncle,i
twon' tchanget he
mistr
eatmentyouputust hroughitwon' t
changethefactthatyououtofj ai
lalr
eady .
Whaty oudi
dt oThandoscar r
edherf orli
fe!”
Spha:
”IknowMamaal sowanttoapologi
seshe
i
sinthehospitalandsheaskedmet ocome
wit
hyouguy s.Shecan'tl
eavethel
ivi
ngworl
d
wit
houtsayi
ngsor ryt
oy ou.
..
”Ibur
stint
o
l
aughter
Me:“
Youandy ourmotherarecrazynehyou
t
hinkwejustgonnaleavewi t
hyousothatbi
tch
youcal
lMamaaskf or
givenesswowsheis
mustbeapr esi
dentmos”
Spha:
“Kat
..
.”
Me:“
MaIdon'twantt
oseehi
m pl
ease”Isobbed
andplacedt
hepl
asti
csont
heemptycouch
Mom:
“Si
rIwoul
dasky
out
oleav
e”
Spha:
“But
..
.”
Mom: “
There'
snobutleavemyhousemy
chil
drendon'twanttotal
ktoyou”UncleSpha
gotupt hatwhenIgottolookathi
m hedidn'
t
evenhav easignthathewasinjai
l
!Mxm t hi
sis
unfairit
sbeentwoy ear
sandmont hsheisout
al
readyI '
ml i
vi
ngSouthAfri
caayngeke!“I
m
sorrymybaby ”
Me:
“I
tsokayMama”
Mom:
”Youl
ookpai
ned”
Me:
“Seei
ngt
hisman.
..”
Mom:“
Don'
tl
iet
omey
ouwal
kedi
nlooki
ngl
i
ke
t
hat
”
Isi
ghedandsatdownnextherr
est
ingmyhead
onhershoul
der
Me:“Ifol
lowedmyheartj
ustl
i
key ousai
dI
shouldittur
nsoutPKhasmov edon”
Mom:
“OhbabyI
'
m sosor
ry”
Me:“
Ithur
tMamaIbr
okeMuzi
'
shear
tfor
not
hing”
Mom: “I
'mreal
lysor rymychi ldmay betheywer e
bothnotmeantf ory ou.Themanupst airswil
l
blessyouwithamant hatwillmakey ouforgot
yourheartwasbr okenandr eal
izewhyy ou
neverworkedoutwi ththem don'tcryokayits
goingtobeokay ”Shepul l
edmet oherchest.“I
l
ov eyoumina, weal ll
oveyouPhakamani can
got ohel
luzenzaj uicekantiuwumbhubhudl a
ongazwakali
”Ilaughedt hr
oughmyt ears“I
this
l
osswenababymy ekenxa”Ichuckl ed
Me:“
Howisthel
i
ttl
eone”Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sand
l
ookedatmypumpkin
Mom:
“Shei
sasweet
hear
tthi
sone”
Me:“
Ohnkosiyomuntuntombazanekamama
baki
thi
”Iki
ssedhercheek
Mom:
“Sheneedanappychange.
”
Me:
”Iwi
l
lgetoni
t”
Mom:“Iwi
ll
cooky
ourf
avour
it
ejustt
ocheer
youupneh”
Me:
“ThankyouMama”Ikissedhercheekand
t
ookAsefrom hert
henmademywayup.Isaw
MjwhowasknockingonThando'
sbedr oom.
Mj
:
“Babyopenuppl
ease”
Me:
“Whathav
eyoudonet
ohernowMj
”
Mj:“I
tsnotmei tsthatmandownstair
sshesaw
him andlockedher sel
finnowshedoesn'
twant
toletmei n”shamet hewayhewaswor ri
edi
ts
socut eI'
m happymysi sterf
oundsomeone
thatlovehernotthatmachansanaguy#Bangi
Me:
“Iwi
l
ltal
ktoherher
etakeyourni
ece”He
t
ookAsewhorubbedhernosewit
hherfi
st
Mj
:
“Thanky
ousi
s”
Me:“Sheneedanappychangethough”He
fr
owned“ Haiboi
n6monthsyouwi l
lbe
changingyourst
hisi
sapract
icemysistercan'
t
doever
ythi
ngal
oneshedi
dn'
tfuckher
sel
f
pr
egnant”
Mj:
“Ei
shcanwedot hepr act
icesomeot her
t
ime”Ilaughed“
Wellifyousaysot henIain'
t
t
alki
ngtoThandolwakho”Hehuf f
ed
Mj:
“Ei
shmshanawaLumewhyar eyoudoi
ng
t
histome”heki
ssedherli
psandf r
owned
“
mmmmhayaysi sngekechangeheryour
sel
f”
Me:
”WuuuIf
eel
sor
ryf
ormysi
ster
”
Mj:
”Fi
neI'
m gonnachangeher”gr
imacewasall
ov
erhisfaceIl
aughedathi
m ashewal kedt
o
mybedroom.Iknockedonthedoor
Me:“Sl
aybabeopenuppl ease”Ihear
dsome
shuffl
i
ngsthent hedooropen.Iwalkedinand
pull
edherinmyar ms.Herfacewasr edandher
eyestoo“Im sorry”shecri
edharderItookher
handsandwal kedwi t
hhertothebedandt ook
offmyclothesshewasal soinherundewear.I
gotnexttoherandpul l
edheront opofme
wrappingmyar msar oundher
Thando:“
Hedi
dn'
tev
enspend5year
sinj
ail
sis
andhedoesn'
tl
ookl
ikeaper
sonwhowasinjail
.
It
'shur
ts”
Me: “
Igethowy ouf eeli
ngbabybutdon'tgi
ve
him powerov ery ourlif
eyoumanaget opullt
his
throughdon' tallowhi mt osendyoubackto
thatgloomypl acest handwasami.Im sorr
yI
wisht hereissomet hingIcandotomakey ou
feelbetter”
Thando:“
Lyingontopofyoumakemefeel
bet
ter.Imissthis,
ski
ntoski
nhugsi
tsalway
s
mademef eelbett
er”
Me:“I
m sor
rythatIhavebeentoooccupiedwith
mylif
eandforgotaboutyou.I
'
m sorryforthe
pai
nSharonputy outhr
oughIm gl
adMj came
thr
oughforyouhowIwi shyoutol
dmet hough”
Thando:
“I
m sor
rysi
s”
Me:
“I
tsokayt
ell
mehowdoy
ouf
eel
nje”
Thando:
“I
'm happysi
sev
ery
thi
ngi
sokayIhav
e
noSharonnorNhl
anhl
atodeal
wit
h.Mydaddy
i
sbackIwishhecanfi
ndsomeonewhocan
l
ovehim”Nothi
ngmakemehappythenher
happi
ness.
Me:“I
m gl
adsi
sthatall
Iwanttohearwehav
e
beenthr
ought
ogetheralotwedeser
ve
happi
ness”
Thando:
“Whatabouty
ou”
Me:
“I
m hal
fhappyandhal
fsad”
Thando:
“Youarest
il
lbl
ami
ngy
our
sel
ffor
Mzwakhe'sdeat
h?”
Me:“Yeah.
..Im happyIgotmyfamilyandmy
ki
dsi nmylife.Mymusiccareerseem tobe
promisi
ng.If i
nal
lymademydeci si
onbutitt
urn
outPKmov edonwi t
hSiya”
Thando:
“OhI
'
m sor
rysi
s”
Me:“
Iwi
ll
befinedon'
twor
ry”t
ear
sfal
lont
he
si
deofmyface.
Thando:
“Howdi
dMuzi
taket
her
eject
ion”
Me:
“Hewasbr
okenThandoandIf
eel
sobad”
Thando:
“Thengobackt
ohi
m af
teral
li
t'
snot
l
ikeyoudon'tl
ovehi
myouj
ustl
ovePKmore”
Me:“
It
sdoesn'tworkli
kethatsweet
hear
tyou
canbreaksomeone'sheartf
orsomeoneel
se
andgobacktohim”
Thando:
“Igety
ouI
'
m sorr
yy ouwi
l
lfi
nd
someonewenamtasekhaya”
Me:
“I
m notl
ooki
nganyonenowI
'
m done.
..
.Isee
t
hatMji
smakingyouhappy”
Thando:
“Happydoesn'
tbegi
ntodescr
ibehow
hemakemef eel
sisgoshIl
ovehi
m somuch”
“
Helov
eyoumorethenyoucanI
magi
ne”That
wasMjwi
thacr
yingAse
Me:“Isai
dchangedhernappynotpi nchherMj”
ThandoandMj laughed.Irol
ledoutofbedand
tookAsefrom Mj“Nkosiwami yancebaMjnzee
mommywi ll
beatthehelloutofhim nehbaby”I
cradl
edherasIwal kedoutheadingtomy
bedr oom.Itookherpacifi
erandinser
titi
nher
mout hshestoppedcryi
ngandsuckoni tIsat
ont hebedandundr essedherthenlaydown
placingheronmychestherwar m ski
nagainst
mi nef el
tsogood.Irubbedherbackuntil
she
fallasleepIfal
lasl
eeptoo.
TWODAYSLATER
Ispendt hetwodaysinmybedr oom nur
singmy
brokenhear twi
thj
unkfood.LuckyIhadno
class.Iwantedtol
eavethi
sroom thedayIgo
toschool butMom andmysistersbargeinand
forcedmeoutofbed
Mom:
“Wakeup,
wakeup!
”
Me:
“Mh.
Mh!
”
Mom:“AyIssywakeupy oucan'tl
ocky our
sel
f
upherei
nt hi
sbedroom foraman.Mani ngi
amadodalangaphange”(Ther
ear epl
entyof
menoutthere)shepull
edtheblanket
saway
fr
om me.There'
snothingIhatethenthatand
sheknows
Me:
“Zesul
i
wemaan!
”
Mom:“Zesuli
weumdidiwakho!
!”shehitmewit
h
apil
l
owIdr aggedmysel
foutofbedr unni
ng
awaywhileSihl
eandKuhl
eweregi ggli
ng.
Me:
”I
'm sor
rymdi
diwami
”
Mom:
“Yazwena”shel
aughed
Si
hle:
“Gohav
eabat
hsi
swhi
l
eImadet
hisbed”
Me:
“Whosai
dIwantt
obat
htoday
”
Mom:“Ayphel
asov
imbanai
phunga”We
l
aughed
Me:
“Iwantt
osl
eepguy
s”
Kuhle:“
Go”shepushedmet othebathroom.I
huffedandundressedthenhav eabubblebat
h
thatwasalreadyprepar
edf orme.WhenI
fi
nishedIwrappedat owelaroundmybodyand
myheadt henshuffledtothebedroom.There
werealsosome5l adiesthatIdidn'
tknow.
“Theresheis”
Mom:“Comesi
tdownbaby
”shemademesi
t
down
Me:
“Whati
sgoi
ngon?
”
Sihl
e:“
Wearet aki
ngyououtthi
sisyourgl
am
squad”Theysmi l
edandgreet
edatmeIgreeted
back.Theydidmyhairandmyf acet
henafter
thatmom disappear
edandcamebackwi t
ha
dress.
Me:”
Thi
sisthedr
essI'm goi
ngt
owearwhat
ki
ndofout
ingist
his?
”
Mom: “
Youaskt oomuchquest i
onsletmehelp
yougetdressed.”Shehel pedmegetdr essedI
l
ookedmy selfi
nt hemi rr
orallIcouldseewas
anangelinalongi cebluesleevelessappl
ique
dressandsil
verRhi nest
oneheel s
Me:
“Wow”
Mom:
“Youlookedamazi
ngmyl
ovet
wir
ledf
or
mommy”Ididasshesai
d
Me:
“Mawher
ear
ewegoi
ng”
Mom:
“Youar
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
edst
handwasami
”
Me:
“Mar
..
mar
ri
ed,
towho?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Phakamani
”shesqueal
edexci
tedl
y
Me:
“Whatnoguy
sdon'
tj
okel
i
ket
hatpl
ease”
Mom:“Wecannev
erj
okel
i
ket
hatsweet
y.”
Daddywal
kedi
n
Dad:
“I
smypri
ncessreadyt
imeisnotonour
si
dethegr
oom i
salr
eadywait
ing”
Me:
“OhmyGodi
tistr
ue”Ihel
dmymout
htear
s
t
ri
ckl
edi
nmyeyes.
Me:“
Inevertol
dany
onet
hatIwantanIcebl
ue
col
ouroftheweddi
ngdr
esshowdidyouguys
know”
“
Areyousure”Thandoappearedoutofno
wher
ewearingasilv
erv-necksl
eevesdress
t
hatshowedhersmal l
bump.
Me:
”Ohmyt
hisi
sunbel
i
evabl
e”
Si
hle:
“Nocr
yingy
ouwi
l
lrui
nyourmakeup”
Me:“It
hought
..
.”Icouldn'
thel
pbutcrymom
calmeddown.Theglam squadhadt
or edomy
face
Mom:
“DaddyKi
nggi
veusasecond”
Dad:“Okay
”Heki
ssedmom'sfor
eheadthengot
outasbothmygranni
es,
aunt
ySwe,auntyZano
walkedin.
GogoNdoni
:“
Yil
l
il
iumakot
iungowet
hu”(
the
br
idei
sours
GogoCynthi
a:“
Siy
avuma”(weagree)They
st
art
edsingi
ngandev er
yonej
oinedthem Iwas
smil
i
ngli
keani di
ot.
AuntySwe:
“Youar
ebeaut
if
ulmyl
ove”she
huggedme
Me:
“Thanky
ouaunt
y”
Aunt
yZano:“
Igoty
outhesetocomplet
ethe
l
ook”Itwasdi
amondeari
ngsandneckl
ace
Me:
“Wowt
hanky
ousomuchAunt
y”
AuntyZano:
“Youarewel
comemybaby ”she
hel
pedmewi theari
ngsandtheneckl
ace.
DzangbabyIlookedamazi
ng
GogoNdoni
:
“Thando,
Kuhl
eexcuseus”
Kuhl
e:“
Sihl
eyena?
”
Mom:“
Shei
smar r
iedyouar
enotmarri
edwe
ar
egoi
ngtoengageinamarri
edpeopl
etal
k”
Kuhl
e:”
Ahhthi
sisunf
air
”Theywal
kedout
.We
al
lsatdown
Mom: “
Befor
ewest artdoyouwanttoget
marri
ed?Getti
ngmar ri
edisnotadeci
sionone
cantakeeasil
y.There'salottoconsi
der.I
s
Phakamanitheoney out r
ulyl
oveandwantt o
spendyourli
fewith?”
Me:“
YesMamaIl
ovehi
m somuchandIwanna
getmar
ri
ed”
GogoNdoni:“
Igotnothingtosayexceptsayi
ng
respecty
ourhusband,neverr
aisey
ourv oi
ceat
him,knowyourplaceandhemustknowshi s.
Hei stheheadandy ouaretheneckloveone
another.Mar r
iagei
snott hesameasbei ngina
rel
ationshi
py oudon'tjustdothi
ngsharpazadly
.
Runev eryt
hingpassy ourhusbandbeforedoing
i
t.Communi cati
onisveryimportantmy
grandchil
d.Stickwit
hy ourhusbandnomat ter
whaty ouarehi sst
rengthasmuchashei syour
strength”
GogoCy nthi
a:”
Mar ri
ageisaboutcompr omise
mygr andchildnoonei sbiggerthentheother
youhav etomeeteachot herhalfwaytomakei t
work.Ensur ethatintheprocessoflovingyour
husband, acknowledginghim asyourhusband
andt heheadoft hehousey oudon'tlose
yourself
.”
Sihl
e:“
Beingamot her,
acareerwomananda
wifeisnoteasycozal lt
hesethi
ngsneedy
our
full
att
entionandti
mei notherwordsal
way
s
maket i
mef oryourhusbandandkids”
Mom:
“Peopl
emust
n'tf
indi
teasyt
ocome
betweenyouguy s.Nomat terhowangryy ou
areateachotherinfrontofpeoplenevergive
them somethi
ngt otalkabout.Uhm It
hinkthat
allanyonewhowantt oaddmyhusbandi s
call
i
ngmenow”
Aunt
ySwe:
“Thesext
alk”
Si
hle:“
Shewon' tneedthatI
ssylovesexsoI
don'tt
hinkshewi l
lst
arveherhusband”We
bursti
ntolaughter
Me:
“Real
l
ynow?
”Il
ookedatSi
hleshewi
nkedat
me
Aunty:“
It'
snotaboutgi v
inghim onlyspi
ceup
yoursexl i
fe.Don'tbeaboringwi f
eyour
husbandmust n'
tbescaredt oexplor
eandtry
newt hi
ngscozy oursexli
fewillbebori
ng.Once
i
nawhi l
ey ouhav edoeverythi
nghesaydoi t
l
ikeacr azywomanuzeumengezandl a
i
zinyawozi bhekephezulu”Wel aughed
Mom:“
Wear ecomi
ng”shesai
dtodaddyov
er
t
hephone.
GogoNdoni:“
Don'tgettoocomfortabl
edress
upfory
ourhusbandal waysmenzeakuhal el
e
zonkei
zunkuandknowt heri
ghtspotsthat
dri
vehi
m crazy”
Dadwal
kedi
n
Dad:
“I
t'
sget
ti
ngl
atenowsenenzani
kangaka
manj
e”
Mom: “
Wear efini
shed”Weal lwalkedoutwi t
ha
song.Thandowasmymai dofhonour .Lami
wasapeachboyt henCassiewasaf l
owergirl
.
Wegoti nt
othecar stheulul
ationsandhoot s
werebuzzinginmyear s.I'
mr eall
ygetting
marri
ed.Uponar r
ivaldaddywashol di
ngmeby
hishand.Mom camet ous“Wear eproudof
youmypr i
ncesswewi shyout hebestiny our
marri
agey oudeservehappinessst handwa
sami”
Me:“
Ma, Pathanky
ou”wesharedagr ouphug
af
terthatwemadeourtowar
dst hechapel
.
Wheni twasmytur
ntowalki
nt henerveswer
e
ki
l
li
ngme.
Dad:“
Br eathokay ”Ibreat
hedoutl oudl
yt hen
l
ookedupaheadofmet hedecor at
ionwasout
ofthi
swor ldicebl ueandt ouchofsi l
ver.Just
thewayIwant edatl astl
onglastmyey es
fi
nall
yl andonhi m.Iwasmadf ormakinghi s
foolyoudon' tpl ayli
kethat.Hef l
ashedhi s
goofysmi l
eIfr ownedbuthi sgorgeousness
madei thar dtomai ntai
nmyf rownIsmi l
ed
back.Justt henAmandaandLaSauseappear ed
andst artedsingi ng
♪♪♪.
AreWeGood?
K’
dalaNdi
l
indi
le,
tosayHowmuchiLov
eyou,
I
gotthi
smessagefory
oundi
thi
“IDo
Ng’y
avumaI”
K’
dal
aNdi
l
indi
l
e,Nhl
i
ziy
oyami
yonkhe
igotthismessagef
ory
oundi
thi
”IDo
Ng’yavumai”
IDoNg’
yav
umaIDo,
IDoNg’
yav
umaI
EhhMyBabyng’
yav
umaIdo
Thati
onl
ywannal
i
vef
ory
ou
i
minanawe,
justust
oo
Ngi
thandazel
akut
hiwej
ustst
ayt
rue
AndKudal
ai’
vebeenwai
ti
ngf
ort
hismoment
Fory
out
olookatmeandj
ustownme
r
ememberbackwheny
ouusedt
ocal
lme
usunami
angekusabal
onel
y
Sot
oget
herwemov
ingon
AndFor
everwest
andi
ngSt
rong
Andi
’
llnev
erf
orgett
hissong
Thenmakemesayi
do
Thent
oget
herwemov
ingon
AndFor
everWest
andi
ngst
rong
Andi
’
llnev
erf
orgett
hissong
ThenMakemeSayIDooooh
K’
dal
aNdi
l
indi
l
e,t
osayHowmuchi
Lov
eyou,
Igotthismessagef
ory
oundi
thi
“IDo
Ng’yavumaI”
K’
dal
aNdi
l
indi
l
e,Nhl
i
ziy
oyami
yonkhe
igotthismessagef
ory
oundi
thi
”IDo
Ng’yavumai”
IDoNg’
yav
umaIDo,
IDoNg’
yav
umaI
♪♪♪

Ihookedmyar m arounddaddythenaswe
walkedinsl
owlytot hefr
ontmyey eslockedto
myy ummychocol atecake.Wegott othefr
ont
daddytookmyhandandpl aceditonPK'sleft
handthenret
ir
edt ohisplacenexttohiswife.
Pastor:“
Dearbelovedwearegatheredhere
todayinthepresenceoft
hesewitnessestojoi
n
Phakamani MngomezuluandNkosi st
handi
le
KhethokuhleSit
holei
nmatri
monycommended
tobehour nabl
eamongallandtherefor
eiti
s
nottobeenteredintoli
ghtlybutreverent
ly,
passi
onatel
y,l
ovinglyandsol emnly.Thesetwo
comet obejoi
nedt ogetherifanypersoncan
showjustcausewhyt heymaynotbej oi
ned
toget
herspeaknoworhol dy ourpeaceforever
”
Mythear
tthuddedasSiyamadeherwayi
nshe
t
hensatdown.Iletoutabr
eathIwashol
ding.
“Noonewel
llet
'spray”Weclosedoureyest
hen
hepray
edaft
erthatitwasti
mef ort
hevows.I
l
ookedathi
stwinkl
ingeyesandsmiled.
Me:“Uhm”Icl earedmyt hroat“Idon'thav evows
yout r
ickedme”ev er yoneshr i
ekedinl aughter
“Uhm”Il etoutabr eat hIcouldfeeltears
warmi ngupi nmyey es“Phakamani
Mngomezul uIstil
lremembert hedayy ou
walkedi nmyl if
ey ouhel pedmer escuedmy
sist
erIwoul dbel yi
ngi fIsayIknew Iwi l
l be
standinginfrontoft hispeopleandy our
gorgeoussel fdeclaringmyl ovefory ou.Ibuil
t
wallsaroundmet hatnoonecoul dgetcl oserto
myhear tev eragai nbuty oucamei ntomyl if
e
l
ikear ayofhopeandf i
ll
edmyl i
fewi th
bright nessal l overagain.Yout oredownal lt
he
wal l
sofmyhear tandmadeaspeci alplacein
myl i
fe.Youwar medmysoul andheal edi twith
yoursoot hingt ouch.Yougi veanewmeani ng
andnewdi mensi ontomyl if
e.Ihav emyf ears
andmyi nhi biti
onsy ouhel pedmeov ercomeal l
oft hatwi thy ourlove.Wehav ebeent hrough
alott oget hert herewer etimesIt houghtwewi l
l
nev erpul lthroughbuther ewear etoday .Thank
yousomuchf orourbl essings, oursonand
daught er .Thanky ouforfight i
ngf orusand
nev ergi v eup.Il oveyouwi thev erysinglebone,
ever ysi ngl ecel landev erysi ngleatom i nmy
body .”myt ear swer eroll
ingdownmyf aceso
wer eIhi swi pedhi m witht hebackofmyhand.
Hecl ear edhi sthroatandhel dmyhands
l
ooki ngdeepi ney es
PK:
“Youl
ookext
raor
dinar
ybeaut
if
ulmyl
ove”
Me:
“Thanky
oubaby
”
PK:
“MajobethedayyoucametomyhouseI
nev
erthoughtthatwi
l
lbethebegi
nni
ngofour
l
ovest
or y
.
Youwal kedi nmyl ifeandmademyl i
femagi cal
andbeaut ifulthatIdi dn'twantt olety ougo.I
havewr ongedy oumanyt imesbuty oual ways
fi
ndawayt of orgiveme.Thanky ousomuch
for1000chancesy ougav eme.Thanky ouso
muchf orourl ov elychildrenandt heot her8
chil
drent haty ouwi llbearf orme.Iwanty outo
knowt haty ouar et heonl yoneIl ov efrom t he
depthofmyhear tandsoul .Togetherwecan
fi
ghtt hewor ldandst ayst rongbecausedeepi n
myhear tIbel i
ev et hatwewer emeantt obe
togetherandt ol astf orever.Icherishbei ngpart
ofyourl ifeandi t
sasheerpl easuret ohav eyou
i
nev er ymomenti nmyl i
fe.Iloveyouwi t hout
boundar ies, withoutdi mensi ons,wi t
hout
paramet er s.Youar emyr easont osmi l
e, my
happiness, myr easont obr eathandt owakeup
everyday .”Hewi pedmyt earswithhi st humbs
Past
or:“
Suchbeaut
ifulvowsever
..
.wher
ear
e
ther
ings”Jabugav
et hepast
ortheri
ngswho
wasPK'sbestman.
PK:“
Thisi
smysacr edgi
fttoyou,
asymbolof
mylove,asi
gnthatfr
om thi
sdayfor
wardand
al
way smylovewil
lsur
roundyou”Hesl
i
dthe
ri
ngintomyfi
nger
Me:“
Thisismysacredgif
ttoyou,asymbol
of
mylove,asi
gnthatfr
om thi
sdayforwar
dand
al
waysmyl ovewil
lsur
roundyou”Isl
idt
heri
ng
i
ntohisfi
nger
Past
or:
“Inowpronouncey
ouhusbandandwi
fe
youmaysealyourvowswit
hakiss”
Hel ookedatmewi t
hawi l
destsmi l
eand
winkedatmet henpul l
edmecl oset ohi
m“I
l
ov eyou”hewhi speredbefor
eki ssingme
deeplytouchi
ngev erychordofmybei ng
.Everyonewascheer ingandululat
ing.
Me:
“I
fthi
sisadr
eam don'
twakemeup”
PK:“
Youar enotdreamingmybaby”He
i
ntert
winedourhandsaswemadeourwayt o
wherewewer egoingtotaket
hepict
ures.When
wewer edonewi t
hpict
ureswemadeourway
whereeveryt
hingwassetupanddecorated
beauti
ful
lywit
hiceblueandsi
lver
.
Weat efoodwhilesoftmusicwaspl
ayingthen
ther
ewer espeeches.Itwasti
metothrowt he
bouquetTbosecamet omeandwhisperedin
myear
Tbose:
“Dontt hr owi tgi
veitt oKuhle”Hewi nked
atmeIwal kedt oKuhl eandgav ehert he
bouquetshet ooki tj
ustthenTbosekneel ed
downfli
ppingaboxofar ingopen.Weal l
gaspedKuhle'smout hwaswi deopen
“MaSit
holewehav ebeent oget herforawhi l
e
butfr
om thef i
r stdayy ouwal kedinmyl i
feI
knewIwillmakey oumywi feIcoul dntwai tany
l
ongerthenthi s.I m notperfectbutIwi lll
ov e
youwithperfect ion.There'
snot hi
ngt hatIwant
thenbeyoursf or everIcan'tev enimagi nea
singlemomentwi thouty ou.Ican'
tbreathe
withoutyou, Ican'tf eelmyhear t
beatswithout
you,Idon'tfeel al
ivewi t
houtyou.Iwanty ouin
myl if
etoday ,tomor rowandev erytomor r
ow
aftertomor r
ow.Sqal okuhl
eSithol
ewi l
lyou
makemet hehappi estmani nthisworldand
mar ryme”Mysi sterwaswetwi thtears
messi nghermakeup
“
sayy
es!y
es!
”ev
ery
onechant
ed
Kuhl
e:“
YesIwil
lnotmar
ryyou”Tbosel
ookedat
her“
OfcourseIwil
lmar
ryy
oupapa”We
l
aughed
Tbosesl i
dt heringt
hengotupt oki
ssher .
Congr at
ulati
onswer einor derthenitwastime
forMEandMYHUSBANDt odance.Thinki
ng
OutLoudbyEdShar eenpl ayedwedancedt hen
couplesjoinedus.lookingbackwher eIcome
from Ihavenodoubtt hi
sist hebeginni
ngofmy
happinessatl astImadei twi t
hmysoul mate.
Thejourneywasn' teasyatal lbutwemadei t.
“Hell
oev er
yone”weal l l
ookedatSi yawhowas
drunkashel lwit
hami conherhand“ Ngabe
ngenzei phuthangi ngasabongel anga
abashadi kazibethu.Congr at
snewl ywedsy ou
areonepowercoupl eshamej ealousdown.I
saluteyouguy sIssyy ouar eforgivingshameI
don'tthinkmi naIwoul dbeabl et oforgivea
manwhot ri
edt ousel ov epotiononme”
Everyoneexcl aimed“ Ooopsy oudi dn'tknow?”
shebur ped“ Well asky ourmot hersheknows
unfortunatelythecooki eswer eeat enbySi hle”I
l
ookedatMamawhol ookeddownIj ustknew
thatthisistrue“Butt henagai ny ouhadt o
forgi
vehi m phelawenau- worsey ouki l
led
Phakamani '
ssisterwi thTbose' sassistance”
“Yhooo”Thosewereexclaimesfrom everyone
PKlookedatmeIswearIwant edt hegroundto
swall
owme“ Youal
sodidn'tknowPhakamani
awngy i
xol
isaukuphaphamewi t
hmybi g
mouth”shelaughedIfel
tlikesomeonewas
sucki
ngouttheairinme, Icoul
dn'tfeel
my
hear
tbeatIwasdy
ingf
orsur
emay
bei
tsf
ort
he
best
.
*
**THEEND*
**