Ngcwet

hiHerWar
ri
or

Pr
ologue
.
.
Twodeadbodi esl
ieont hebankofMpof ana’
sr i
ver
knownasMvumase.Thef ir
stoneisunrecognizabl
e
duetoseverefaci
alinj
uries.Butthepersonis
weari
ngthegreenMt hembu- uni
form,hemustbe
oneofthefarm worker
s.Nextt ohimliesthehead
oftheMthembus;MadodaOscarMt hembu.
Theywerebothatt
ackedbyenemi eswhil
efil
li
ng
thewat
er-
trucki
nther i
ver.Theri
val
rybet
weent he
MthembusandNgwaneshasbeengoi ngonfor
year
s.Oneofthemai nissuesist
heroadthat
Madodaclosedi
nor dertostar
thisf
arm.

TheNgwanesr
esideontheothersideoft
heri
ver
andhavet
ousethelongroadthatgoesbehi
ndthe
mountai
n.Itis20minutesl
ongerandnoti nver
y
goodcondit
ion.Ther
ear er
ocksallover
,the
mechanicnevergoestobedonanempt ystomach
asthei
rvehicl
esarealwaysbreaki
ngdown.

Thecommuni t
yleaderstr
iedtoint
erveneont he
mat t
erbutMadodawasamanofpeopl e,hewonall
casesplacedagainsthim.Hegener ously
contri
butedtothecommuni tydevel
opmentand
constantl
ywonpeopl e'
sheart.Overtheyearshe
hashiredhundredsofMpof anayout handcreat
ed
highereducati
onfundingschemest hatproduce
graduateseveryyear
.

It'
snotj eal
ousy.TheNgwanepeopl ehavewat ched
therichergett
ingrespectmor ethanthepoorer.
Slowly,thecommuni t
yleadershaveshutdownt he
voicesoft hepoor.Mpof anahasbeendi vi
dedinto
twocl asses;t
hef i
rstandt hesecondclass.I
fyou
belongt othesecondcl assyourvoicealwaysfallon
deafear s.Youfoll
owt heleadanddancet othet une
oft
her
ich.
Eventual
lyt
heyhavereachedthebr
eakingpoi
nt.
Mazwakhe,thef
irstsonoftheNgwanes,ar
medhis
brot
hersandcousinsandtheymadethefir
stst
ri
ke.

Thef i
rstper
sont oarr
iveatt hesceneisMt hembu's
secondson, Ngcwethi.Hedoesn' tevenpark
properly,
hejumpsof fthevanandr unstowar dst
he
ri
ver.Thephonei sri
ngingi nsi
dehi spocket.Hisol
d
brotherBusi
khayawant st oknowwhathappened.
Whydi dhet akeoffsospeedi l
y?Ngcwet hihasagift,
mostoft hetimeshef oreseethingsbeforethey
happen.Somet hi
ngmust '
vebeent erri
blewrongfor
himt ojustl
eavethemeet i
nglikethat
.
Heseeshisfat
herl
yingonthesandwi
thbl
ood
cover
inghi
sfaceandlosesit
.
“Ndabawhathappenedtoyou?Whodi dt hi
sto
you?”heaskshisfat
herwho'l
lneverrespondor
l
ookathim agai
n.Thewor l
dhascr ushedbef orehi
s
eyes.Mthembuwasapi l
laroft
hef amily.Het hi
nks
ofhisi
ll
-mother
,herfr
agi
leheartwon'tbeabl eto
handl
et hi
s.Shej
ustgotdi
schargedfr
om t
he
hospi
talafewweeksbackafterherbl
oodpressur
e
skyr
ocketed.

“Ngcwethiwhathappened?
”-t
hevoi
cecomes
behindhim.
Iti
sBusi
khaya,whenhisbr
otherdi
dn'
tanswert
he
phonehehoppedinsi
dethetr
uckanddrovetot
he
samedir
ecti
on.
Hi
sfather'
sdeadbodymeetshi
seyesbef
ore
Ngcwethicansayanyt
hing.
“Nonono….Ndaba!”Hegoesst
rai
ghtt
ohi
sfat
her
butNgcwet
hiblockshi
sway.
“
Wehavet
owai
tfort
hepol
ice,
”-Ngcwet
hi.
Thi
sinf
uri
atesBusi
khayaevenmor
e.
“Iwantt
oknowwhoki ll
edmyfather
,andIwantto
knownow!”Hebl owsup.Hi
sgunisalr
eady
swingi
ngaroundhishandli
ket
heenemyi sgoi
ngto
handhimselfover.
“
Wewi
llf
indoutandt
hey'
l
lpayf
ort
his,
”Ngcwet
hi
sayspushi
ngBusikhayaawayfr
om thedeadbodies.
Heisangrytoo,
butheknowsthepoli
cerulesand
doesn'
twanttoint
erf
erewit
htheevi
dencet heymay
need.

Newst ravelfasti
nthevi
ll
age.Atrai
nofpeople
fol
lowbehi ndtwopoli
cevans.Sadnessiswrit
teni
n
everyone'seyes.Somehavelostabrot
her,some
havelostabossandsomehavel ostarol
emodel .
“Doyouknowanyonewhocoul
d'vedonet
his?
”the
ser
geantasks.
“Isthatar
ealquestion?”-Busikhayasayswi t
hhis
foreheadf
urrowed.Inhi smi ndanotherpol
icevan
shouldbeoni t
swayt oar resttheNgwanes.
Everyoneknowst hatthey'
ret heonl
ypeoplewho
arecapableofkil
li
nghi sfather.
Ngcwethiclear
shist
hroat
,he’
sal
waysby
Busi
khaya’ssidet
osavemomentsli
ket
his.
“
Wecannotpoi ntanyf i
ngersatt
hisstage.Wewi l
l
l
etyoudoyouri nvesti
gati
onandpr oceedwitht
he
f
uneralar
rangement s.Thenaft
erthefuneralwewill
demandanswer s.
”Hehasacalmf ace,hisvoicei
s
natur
alscratchyandalwaysl
ow- pi
tched.There'
s
somethinginthewayhesayst heywi l
ldemand
answers,l
ikehei sgi
vingt
hepoli
ceadeadl ine.
“Wewi l
lfi
ndwhoeverdidthi
sandbri
ngthem t
o
j
usti
ce.Ourcondolencesarewi
thbot
hfamil
ies,
”
saysthesergeant
.
Ther
e'sonlyonewaytogetjust
icei
nthecountr
y
wherepri
sonsaresub-
hotel
s,andthati
stotake
matt
erstoyourownhands.
“Ndabawon' tgodownt othegravealone!
”
Busikhayaswear s.Hedoesn'
tcareaboutthe
poli
ce’spresence.Theypret
endtohavenothear d
him andcontinuejott
ingdownont hei
rnotepads.

Thefarm worker
sputtheirtool
sdowni nmourning
andreturnhomewi t
hbleedingheart
s.TheDladla
famil
ycomet ocoll
ectSfiso’
sclot
hes,the
far
mwor kerwhodiedalongMt hembu.Thereare
j
ustnowor dsappropri
atetocomfortthem.They
l
osttheironl
yson.Thehandt hatfedthem,heleft
behi
nda6-
mont
hol
dbaby.
“Withal
lduer espectMam'Dladl
a,we'
dliketocover
allt
hefuneralexpenses.Sf
isohasworkedforthi
s
familyf
oryear s,
weshar et
hesamepainasyou. ”-
Ngcwethi.
Theweepingmot hernodsherheadandholdsonto
hersist
erti
ght
ly.Aft
erpacki
ngeverythi
ngMnotho,
theyoungestMthembuson, dr
ivest
hem home.

Thenei ghboursandcommuni tymember s

eventuall
yleavetheMt hembuhomest ead.
Busikhayacallshisbrother
sforanemer gency
meet i
ngwhi l
ether el
ati
veskeepthei
rmot her
companyont hemat tr
ess.
“WhereisMndeni?
”Busikhaya’
seyesgooverhis
twobrother
swho'r
ealwayspunctual
.Iti
nfur
iat
es
himthatMndeninevert
aketimeseri
ousl
y,evenat
sit
uat
ionsli
kethi
s.
“
Hewillcatchup.Whyar
eweher
e?”Ngcwet
hiasks
i
mpat
iently.
“Weareheretomakeani mmedi atedecisi
on.
Ndabawon'tgodownt ot hegraveal one
AmaNgwaneedl aamabel e!
”Busi khayasays
tappi
nghisfootdownlikehe'l
ltakeonanyonewho
darestot
ogoagai nsthim.
“
Aren'
twesupposedt
obemour
ning?
”Mnot
hoasks.
“Ohtrustme, wear emour ni
ng.TheNgwaneswi l
l
hel
pusdoi t.Putyourjacketson,getyour1sand
ext
rasf orbalance,wewi l
lchewimpandeandl i
ck
Ngomane' sbl ackpowderbeforewel eave,
”
Busikhayaor ders.

Mndeniwalksinandl ooksatthem wi t
hbl
oodshot
eyes.Somehowt heyknewt hathe'lltaket
hiswor se
thananyone.He'
sbeenal wayst hemostemot ional
amongt hem,buttodayhisemot ionshavepr ovoked
theothersi
deofhim.Hei shungr yf orwar.
“
Whyar
ewest
il
lwai
ti
ng?
”heasks.
“
Goodquestion!
”BusikhayalooksatNgcwethi
.He'
s
t
heonlyonewhoi ssti
llsi
tti
ngdown.Other
sareon
t
hei
rfeet
,prepar
ingtheirguns.
“
Wedon'
thaveanyevi
dence.
”-Ngcwet
hi.
“Doweneedst upidevi
dence?Weal lknowwho
kil
ledourf
ather,
socutust helevel
-headedbrot
her
crapandgetarmed.Iti
swar ,t
heyki l
ledourf
ather
!”
.
.
Thecl ockti
cks7:22pm.TheNgwaneyar disquiet
,
notevent hei
rdogsar ebarki
ng.Allt
hel i
ght sar
eoff.
TheMt hembusentertheyardfrom di
fferent
direct
ions.Thehomest eadhasaboutsi xrondavels
andacoupl eoftwo-rooms.It’
saqui t
ebi gyardbut
they'r
edonewi t
hinfiveminutescheckingt heal
lthe
houses.
Therei
snooneinsi
de.Theyst
artaf
reshandcheck
thor
oughl
y.TheNgwanesmust'
vesuspected
somethi
ngandwentint
ohidi
ng.
“FuckIt
!”Busi
khayacursesandki
ckst
hebucket
s
ofwaterinfr
ontofhim.Heconti
nuest
osmash
everyt
hingonthetabl
e.
“
Sot
heyr
anaway?
”Mndenihi
ssesangr
il
y.
“
Bloodycowards!Si
zobatholakodwa,
ayi
kho
i
mpungayehlathi
.”-
Busikhaya.
Theywalkout
,Mndenisl
amst
hedoorandcl
icks
hi
stongue.
Ahumanf i
gur
eappearsoutofnowhereandst
ands
i
nfrontoft
hem.Mndenihasaimedhisgunandis
r
eadytoshootshoul
dthepersonmakeonemore
move.
“
Pleasedon'
tki
llme,
”cr
iest
heper
son.
I
t'
sayoungladyholdingastackofbooks.Ngcwethi
l
if
tst
hetor
cht oherfaceandtakesagoodl ook.
“
Whoar
eyou?
”heasks.
“Zanamuhla…Ihaven'
tdoneanyt hingwr ong,please
don'tshoot
.”Sheisclosedtotears.Hervoi ceis
trembli
ngandbegging.Shewasadvi sedagai nst
comi ngher
e,butthethoughtofmi ssingherf i
nal
exam wasunbearable.Shetoldeveryonet hatshe
neededabat hr
oom andsecr et
lyrant ofetchher
books.Thebiggestmistakeofherl i
fe.
“
You'
reMazwakhe'
ssi
ster
?”Mnot
hoasksvi
ciousl
y.
Unawarethatadmit
ti
ngt
obei
ngMazwakhe'ssi
ster
i
slikedi
ggingherowngr
avet
heyounggi
rlnodsher
headinagreement
.
“
TakeherMndeni
,
”Busi
khayaor
der
s.
Booksscatt
erontheground,
Mndenigr
absthegir
l'
s
ar
m andlif
tsherupli
kesheisasackofpot
atoes.
“
Maaaaaaa.
.….
”Agunsl
idesi
nsideherwi
deopen
mout
hasshetri
est
oscream f
orhelp.
“
Onemor ewor
dandyou'
l
lhaveabul
letf
ordi
nner
.”
-
Busi
khaya.

Ngcwethit
hrowsapetr
olbombononeofthe
r
ondavelsandfi
rest
wobullet
sint
heai
rtodel
ivera
message.
I
suki
le!
!!
.
.
WELCOMETOANEW HOME.LI
KE,COMMENT&
SHARE.THI
SPAGEHASASCHEDULEOF3POSTS
PERWEEK,
IHAVETOPUSHTGVASWELL.
SANI
BONANI
[
11/
19,
09:
39] :Chapt
er1
Zanamuhl
a
.
.
I'
vebeenl
ockedi
nthisrustyhousefordaysnow.
Myhoperunsoutwit
heachhourt hatpassesby
andIdon'
tseemybrotherscomingtomyr escue.
It
'ssounl
ikeMazwakhenottocar
eaboutmysafet
y.
Wel ai
donthesamewomb, whenourmotherdi
ed
hebecameallt
hatIhave.
Well
,Idohaveaf at
her,
butthefactthatheisa
pol
ygamistandhasabr oodofchil
drenalloverthe
worl
dmeanst hatIgetj
ust10%ofhi satt
ention.He
l
oveshisthi
rdwifeandspendsmostofhi stime
bondi
ngwi t
hchil
drenfr
om thatsi
de.
Thedooropens,
thecr
uelonei
sthef
ir
stt
oent
er.
Wel
l,
they'
real
lcr
uel
butt
hisonet
akest
hecup.I
can'tl
ookathi
m withoutwanti
ngtot
hrowuponhi
s
face.Ihat
ehim wi
theveryfi
breofmybody.
Het
ookever
ythi
ngf
rom me.Myl
if
e,myf
utur
e!
Hechosetheonlyhousethatcont
ainedmyf utur
e
andburnti
tdown.Idon'
tknowwhyhei snottaki
ng
thegunandfi
nishi
ngmeof f.
Icouldn'twri
temyf i
nalexam becauseofhim…Well
al
loft hem ar
ekeepingmeher e,butIwanttopush
al
lthebl ametohim.Eveni ft
heirevi
lhear
tsdo
soft
enupIwi l
lret
urnhomet onothing.
Themonsterbur
ntal
lmyschool
wor
kandper
sonal
bel
ongi
ngs.
“You'r
estil
lonhungerst
ri
ke?
”askstheolderone,
Busikhaya,cl
ear
lyfi
ndi
ngthi
swholesit
uationfunny.
Theygavemesl i
cesofbr ownbreadandcoldtea.
I’
minprisonofsomesor tandIdon'tknowthe
char
gesagainstme.AllIknowist hatMazwakhe
hadahandont heirf
ather'
sdeath.
“
Atypi
calNgwanespoi
ltbr
at!
”Mnot
hosays.
Iknowhi
m,wewentt
othesamepr
imar
yschool
,
buthe'sal
lgrownupandcr
uel
,i
ttookmet
imet
o
recogni
zehim.
Didhesayspoilt
-brat?Idon'tknowwhatt heword
‘
spoil’
means.I'
vehel dmysel fwit
hmyownt eet
hfor
thepast12years.Ididn'thaveaf at
herwhoown50
yardsoflandandrivers.Theseapr obablybelongs
tothem aswell
.Hei spoi nt
ingatme, call
ingmea
spoil
tbrat,
butallf
ourf i
nger sar
epointingbackat
him.
“Woul
dyouprefersomet
hingelseMadam
Zanamuhl
a?”
-t
het hi
rdt
oe-nai
lofSat
an,Mndeni
,
asksi
nmockery.
Heisasmar t-
mout h,If
indhimlessi
nti
midat
ing
t
hanothers,probablybecausehehasatt
ract
ive
l
ooksoverthatcoldhear t
.
“
No,
thankyou,
”Isay.
Helooksatthecr
ueloneandshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s
bef
oretaki
ngtheplat
e.
“Dankiempil
o,chi
ckenswil
lhaveani cedinner
today.It
ri
edbutsomebeggarsar echoosers.”Hei
s
sortofgi
vingthecr
ueloneexplanat
ion,l
ikethe
devi
lcar
es.
Hewal
ksouthappi
l
ywi
thmymeal
.
Myst omachkeepsr umbl ing,Ihaven'teaten
anythingsincethenightt heykidnappedme.Apar t
ofmei sscaredthattheymi ght
'vepoisonedthe
food,butevenso, Iwoul dn'tacceptanything
comingf rom them.Mazwakhewasr ightaboutt
his
family.Theyabuset heirpowerandt akeadvantage
ofthepower less.
“Tr
yyourbr
otheragai
n.”Busi
khayat
hrowst
he
phonet
omychest .
Idon'tknowhowmanyt imesI'
m expectedtodo
thi
s.Mazwakhe' sphonehasbeenof feversi
nce.
Him andmyhal f-br
other
sarenowher etobefound
i
nMpof ana.Theseidi
otskeept
ortur
ingmyf amily
fornothing.
Asusual,awhi tewomanki ndl
ytel
lsmethatthe
numberI'm call
ingisnotavail
abl
eatpr
esent.The
l
ookont hei
rf aces!I
t'
sli
keI'mtheoner
esponsible
forever
ythi
ng.
“
Maybehewant
stof
etchyourcor
pse.Thel
ess
Ngwaneoff
-spr
ingsi
nthewor
ld,
thebet
ter
.”-
Mnotho.
Tothi
nkIoncesawhi
m asagoodboyandcr
ushed
onhimforawhil
e!
“Ihopeyouhaveanacti
vefuner
alpoli
cy,
”
Busikhayasaysandpul
lsagunbehindhi
swai
st.
It
'sbeensomeki
ndoffearfact
or.Ri
ghtnowthe
si
ghtofagunandthoughtofdeathdon'
tshakeme.
Idon'tbegformylifet
obespar
ed,
Ijustl
ookathi
m
preparedforanyt
hing.
“Baf
o……”Thecr
uelonest
opshi
m andpul
lshi
s
hand.
Idon'thearwhatheissayingast
heyhavet
urned
thei
rbacksonme.Buthei sst
oppi
nghimfr
om
kil
li
ngmeandhast akenthegunawayfr
om hi
m.
Theydon'tsayanyt
hing,af
tert
hei
rli
tt
lechatt
hey
fol
loweachothertothedoor.
Af
ewmi
nut
esl
aterIhearacardr
ivi
ngaway.
IwishIcansayI
'
mrelievedthatt
hey'
regone,
but
I'
m not
.Howlongam Igoingtobekepther
e?Why
i
smyf amil
ynotlooki
ngf
orme?Idoubtt
hepol
ice
evenknowthatt
here'
samissi
ngper
sonint
hearea.
Atleasttheythoughtaboutlockingmei nahouse
thathasabat hroom.Thereisnosoap, onl
ycold
runningwaterandt oi
letr
oll
s.Ionlywasht he
sweat ypart
sandwi pewithapi eceofclot
h.
Idon'tevensaymyni ghtprayer,Godi
snotpray-
abl
e.Hedi dn'tanswermypr ayers12year
sago
whenIonl yaskedHi mt osavemymot her
.Shedied
atthesideoft heroad,waiti
ngf ort
hecartot
akeher
tothehospi t
al,buti
tnevercame.I tbr
okedown
behindthemount ai
nandt hemechaniconlyarr
ived
twohour slater.

I'
m sl
owl
ydr i
ft
ingt
osleepwhenIheart
hedoor
handl
emoving.Theli
ghttur
nsoncausi
ngmyeyes
tofor
cef
ull
yopen.
Ur
gh!Whatdoeshewantnow?
“
Ibr
oughtyouf
ood…pr
operf
ood,
”hesays.
I
t'
saf
ullpl
ateofbeef
.Thet
hingwr
appedi
na
sar
viet
temustbeaspoon.Whatacour
tesy!
Hepullst
hechairandsits.Hi
satt
enti
onisoccupi
ed
bythesmallscr
eenonhi shandforawhil
e.When
helooksupI'
m sti
lll
yingonthespongewit
haf ul
l
pl
ateinfr
ontofme.
“
Whyar
eyounoteat
ing?
”heasks.
Incasehehasn'
tnoti
ced,
Idonotspeakt
ohi
m.I
don'
trepl
ytoanyt
hinghesays.
Ihat
ehi
m.
“
Zanamuhl
a!”
Thisi
smypr eci
ousname, mymothergaveitt
ome,
buthejustt
ookthewholemeani
ngofi tandit
s
beaut
ybyspitti
ngitoutofhi
smouth.
Ihat
ehi
m evenmor
eforspoi
li
ngmyname.
“
You'
regoi
ngt
odi
e,
”hesays.
Li
keI'
m notdeadal
ready.Hefucki
n’ki
ll
edmet he
momenthesetmymot her
'sr
ondavelonfir
e.The
dayhedestr
oyedhermemor yandmyf utur
e.
Het
akest
hepl
ateandcover
sit
.
“Whenyoudeci
detoeatyou'
l
lfi
ndyourf
oodhere.
”
Heplacest
heplat
eontopofthewat
erbucket
.
Heputshisphonebackinsi
dethepocketand
pushest
hechairbacktoit
splace.
Iguesshei
sdone.
“Takeyourf
oodwi
thyou,
”Isaywhenhei
saboutt
o
exitt
hedoor.
Hest
opsbutdoesn'
ttur
nhi
sheadt
olookatme.
“
Ihat
eyou!
”Isay.
Nowhet
urns.
“
Andyout
hinkIcar
e?Idon'
tli
keyouei
ther
.”
Angerwei
ghsi
n,Ist
andupandl
ookathi
m.
Iwi
shIhadpowert
ost
rangl
ehi
mtodeat
h.
“That'
st hedi ff
erence,youdon'tli
kemeandyou
havenor easont odoso, andIHATEyou.Yout ook
everythingawayf rom me.Myf uture,myl
if
e,my
mot her!I’
veneverhat edaper sonsomuchi nmy
l
ife.WhenIf inall
ygetstrengthtogodownonmy
kneesIwon' tbepr ayi
ngf orsur
vival,
butI
'
llbe
pr
ayi
ngf
oryourl
if
etobemi
ser
abl
e,
”Isay.
Het
akesast
epbackandf
rownsl
ikehei
sinshock.
“Whaaat
?”Hesoundsmor
escr
atchyandl
ow-
pit
chedt
hanusual
.
If
orgott
oment
ionhowmuchhi
svoi
ceannoysme.
“Youheardme, nowt akeyourfoodandl eave.You
kil
ledmet hedayyoubur ntmymot her
'srondavel
,
destroyi
ngeverysi nglememor yIhadofherand
teari
ngdownmyf utureontheline.Yourippedmy
souloutofmybodyt hatni
ght,whatyouseei sjust
anempt ybody.I fyou'r
ecleverasyout hi
nkyouar e,
you'dknowt hatdeadpeopl edon'teat,
”Isay.
Thefr
owndisper
ses.Ican'
tsayhel
ooks
remor
sef
ul,
itmustbehisextr
adevi
li
shface.
“
That….I
….Zanamuhlayourbr
other
ski
ll
edmy
f
ather
,”hesaysinhesi
tati
on.
Ican'
tbel
ievet
hener
ve!Ther
e'snoj
ust
if
icat
ionf
or
whathedidtome.
“Mymotherdi
edbecauseoft
hest
upi
droad!Iwas
anophar
nat11years,Ihadt
ogr
owupandmot her
mysel f
.Ifyou'
refighti
ngf oryourfat
herwhyar eyou
notlookingforhiskill
ers?Whyam Ikepther e?Why
couldn'tIwri
temyf inalexams?Whydi dyou
destroymymot her'
smemor iesandmyschoolwor k?
Whatdi dmymot herandIdot oyou?Idon'tseeyou
tar
get i
nganyonebutmeandmymot her.
”
Ican'tbel
ieveI
'm cr
yingandgi vi
ngthi
sdog
sati
sfacti
on.Iwassocl osetomynat i
onalN-
dipl
oma, nowIhavet oapplyforexam admissi
on
again.
“Idi
dn'
tknow,t
hatwasnotmyi
ntent
ionatal
l,
”he
says,f
aki
ngsympathy.
IfIstandheref
oranot
herminuteGodknowsI'm
goingtospitonthi
sguy'
sface.Thebathr
oom has
nodoorbutbeingawallawayfrom hi
ssighti
s
better.
Hedoesn'
tleaveimmedi
atel
y,Idon'
tknowwhat
's
keepi
nghi
m.Poi soni
ngmyfoodmaybe.
.
.
Idon'
tseet hem thenextday.Astrangemancame
wit
hf oodearli
erandleftwit
houtsayingaword.The
menuhasi mpr oved,t
odayIhavegr i
ll
edmeatand
pap.Iwon'tli
e,I'
mt emptedtodevourthewhole
pl
ate,butmyst ubbornnessisal
waysdomi nant
.
TodayIcanhardlyst
andup.I'
m awakeonly
becauseI
'vebeendri
nkingwater
.IwishBusikhaya
cancomewi t
hhisphone,maybeMazwakhe's
phoneisontoday.Ij
ustwantt
ohearhisvoiceone
l
asttime.
Myhopel
ight
supwhent
hedooropens.
I
t'
sMndeni
,ur
gh!
“
Abal
ambi
,abasomi
Sebekuwekhayal
ami
Bayel
uswa,
ohyi
mvana
Sebekuwe,
khayal
ami
.”
Hesingswithasmi l
eonhisface,
looki
ngatt
wo
pl
atesthathaven'
tbeeneat
en.
“UyaziweZano….
”Hepausesandgr
absachai
r.He
sit
slikeaki
ngwithhi
slegsspr
eadout
.Hei
s
al
waysdr essedsmar
tl
y,shi
nyshoesandexpensi
ve
watches.
“Theni
cestthi
ngaboutdyingfrom agunisthatyou
diewhi
leyourbloodi
ssti
llwarm.Whatyou'redoing
i
sashame, Imeanyou'r
egoi ngtogetthi
n,havea
dryski
nandf r
eezebef
oreyoudi e,
”hesays.
Ist
histhestuf
fheactual
lycaresabout?Thereare
1000waystodi eandIdon'tt
akemyt i
met ochoose
whichoneisprefer
abl
e.Frankl
y,Idon'
tgiveafuck.
“
Buti
t'
supt
oyou,
”heshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
Idon'
thaveener
gyf
orhi
ssmar
tmout
htoday.
“Ionl
ycar eaboutmymother'
schi
ckens.Ineed
yourblessingt
otaket
hisfoodtot
hem,”hesays.
Hewi
llkeepgoi
ngi
fIdon'
tsayanyt
hing.
“
Takei
t,
”Isay.
Hesmi
les.
“Zihl
abathizol
wandl
e!”heputshi
shandsupi
n
grati
tudeandtakest
heplates.
Idon'
tknowwhyIdon'
that
ehi
m.Hedoesn'
tget
t
hroughme,
nomat
terwhathedoes.
“
Mndeni
,canIuseyourphonef
oramoment
?”Iask.
Igavehi
m myfood,t
heleasthecoul
ddoi
sal
low
met omakeaphonecal
l.
“I
t'
sunt
raceabl
e,
”hesayscheeki
lyandhandsi
t
over
.
Idon'
tknowwhathemeansbyt hat.Idi
al
Mamncane'snumber,i
tdoesn'
tgothrough.NowI
suspectt
hatsomet
hingiswrong.
“
Didyoucutourel
ect
ri
cit
y?”Iask.
Hepr
etendst
obet
hinki
nghar
d.
“
IfI
'
m notmi
staken,
yeswedi
d.”-
Him.
Fuck!
!!
“Thenhowam Isupposedtogett
hem t
ocome
here?
”Ican'
tbel
ievet
his.
“
WecaughtNkanyiso,soonhewi l
lsi
ngthetrut
h.So
wear
enotwor r
iedaboutkeepi
ngyouher e,
your
f
atel
iesonyourbrot
herNkanyiso,
”hesays.
ThewayNkanyi
soi
ssost
ubbor
nIdoubthe’
l
ltel
l
them anyt
hing.Idon'
thavet
hestr
engt
htokeep
going,If
acetheotherwayandshutmyeyes.
.
.
Idon'
tknowwhyGodi skeepi
ngme.Iwakeupwi t
h
apoundingheadacheandapairofeyesst
ari
ngat
me.
Lif
ecan'tgetanyworse.Whatishedoi
ngher
e?I
thoughtImadeitcl
earthatIhat
ehim.
“
Whyar
eyout
ort
uri
ngyour
sel
fli
ket
his?
”heasks.
Thegreattor
tur
ewouldberespondi
ngtohis
quest
ion,soIkeepqui
etasi
fIdidn'
thearhi
m.
Heplayswit
hhisbr
acelet
s.They'
redecor
atedwi
th
ani
malclawsandal
lthecreepyst
uff.
“
Youcanhatemeal
lyouwant
,butyourbodyneeds
f
ood,
”hesays.
I'
mt r
yingtounder st
andhowthisconcer
nshim.I
'm
here,t
heybr oughtmeheresothatIcan'
thavet
he
thi
ngst hatIneed.
“I
'm goi
ngtol
etyougo,
pleaset
akecar
eof
yoursel
f.
”
What
?Ishepranki
ngme?IthoughtMndenisai
d
t
hey'
l
lonl
yletmegoifNkanyi
sotell
sthem t
hetr
uth.
Heunzipshisjacketandtakesitoff
.Iseeagun
poki
ngoutofhi swaist.Theyalwayshavethem.
Thepolicear
et hei
rbestfri
ends,t
heseareprobabl
y
unl
icensedgunsbutt heywalkaroundwiththem
l
iketoys.
Oh,
hecar
ri
eskni
vest
oo.
“I
sthecarready?
”heaskssomeoneoverthephone.
Thepersonmust'vesai
dyes,
hethankshi
m orher
andendsthecall
.
“You'
l
lfi
ndacarwai
tingf
oryoubehindgumt
rees.
”
Heistel
li
ngme.Thi
sisnotaprank.
“
You'
rer
eleasi
ngme?
”
YesIhatehi
m andwon'
thatehi
ml essf
orany
reason,
butt
hisi
sasurpr
isi
ngsideofhi
m.
Andnow?Thekni
fe?
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
”Iask.
Heli
ft
sthekni
feup,hehashi
sar
m st
ret
ched.I
don'
tthi
nkhei
s…..
JesusChr
ist
!
Hejustst
abbedhimsel
f.Hei
snotevenf
li
nchi
ngt
o
showthatheishuman.
“
LeaveZanamuhl
a.”Hedr
opst
hebl
oodont
hef
loor
.
I'
m sti
llshocked.Whi
chlevelofcruelt
yisthi
s?Who
stabshisownar mfornosuicidalreasons?
Oh,
hebr
oughtbandagesaswel
l.
“
Isai
dgo,
”hesaysf
ir
mly.
Ther
eisnoti
mef orhesi
tat
ions,Igat
hermyselfup
anddashtothedoor
.It'
sactual
lydarkout
side,but
thet
asteoff
reedom i
ssopr i
cel
ess.
Somet
hingbr
eaksbehi
nd.I
tsoundsl
ikeawi
ndow.
Idon'tknowwhathei
spl
ayi
ngat
,hedi
dn'
tlook
psychopathi
ctome.
.
.
 *
**

Busikhayawal ksi nt
oanempt yhouse.Thegi r
lis
gone.Amongt het hi
ngshehat esinlife,
isl
osi
ng
control.Thegi
r lwasnouset ot hem buthehad
controloverher .Hewoul
d'vedet er
mi nedwhenshe
goeshome.
“Allofyou,i
nthesquarehouse,now!
”heyell
sathi
s
brothersoverthephoneandconti
nuespaci
ng
aroundt hehouseangri
ly.
Theyal
lcomeinonecarconf
usedabout
Busi
khaya’
ssuddenanger
.
“
Sheescaped,
”Mnot
hosaysf
ir
st.
MndeniandNgcwet
hil
ookathi
m wi
thconf
used
f
aces.
“Lookatt
hewi ndow,
it'
sbr
oken,
andt
heset
rai
lsof
blood,
”hesays.
“Hel
lno!
”Theyallrushinsidethehouseandfind
Busi
khayabreat
hingf i
re.Therei
sabr okengl
ass
bowlandamapofbl oodallovert
hefloor.
“Youchangedhermenuanddecidedt
ochangeher
cutl
eryaswell
?”hequest
ionsNgcwet
hi.
“
Yeah,
so?
”-Ngcwet
hi.
“
Sosheescapeddamnit
!Shebr okethewindow
wit
hafucki
n’bowlandl
eft
,”Busikhayal
ashesout
.
Ngcwet
hil
ooksawayr
egr
etf
ull
y.
“
Andt
hebl
ood?
”–Mndeni
.
“
Whoknows?Maybeshet
ri
edt
oki
llher
sel
f.“
Theyal
lsi
tsdowndef
eat
ed.
“
Wehavet ocl
eanthi
smess.Idon'
twantt
hepol
ice
t
obesniff
ingar
oundourhomewhileweare
mour
ning.
”
Mndenil
ooksathi
sBel
l&Rosewatchandsi
ghs.
Nowhehastotouchwat
ert
ocleanbl
ood!
“Mnot
hoclean,
”hetr
iest
obullyhi
m asusualbut
Busi
khayahear
snoneofit.Hewantsalloft
hem to
cl
eansincet
hegir
lwaseveryone'
sresponsi
bil
it
y.
“Andyou?
”heasksNgcwet
hiwhoi
sst
il
lont
he
chai
r.
“Ihavedyst
oniainmyleftar
m,andI
'
minnomood
oftouchi
ngblood,”–Ngcwethi
.
Well
,theyal
lunder
standhim andhisspeci
al
i
ll
nesses.Theyl
ethim beandcleanup.
[
11/
19,
09:
39] :Chapt
er2

ZANAMUHLA

WhenIopenmyeyest herei
saheavyf i
gur
e
opposit
emybed.It'sdar kout
side,I
'
vebeeneat ing
andsleepi
ngasmuchasIcan.Idon' tknowwhat '
s
moreexhaustedbetweenmybodyandsoul .Sleep
hel
psmenott othinkaboutwhathappened, andI
don'
tdealwit
hthef actthatIdi
dn'twrit
emyexams.
“
Hlahl
a,”
Ican'
tbel
ievemyear
s.
Mybr
other
!
Hei
stheonl
yper
sonwhocal
lsmet
hatway.
“
Situp,
”heor
der
s.
Isi
tupimmedi at
ely.Hetakesal i
ght
eroutofhi
s
pocketandl
ightsthelamp.Iaskedhimtofixmy
l
ightbul
btwomont hsago, Iguesshi
sMazwakhe
schedul
ehasbeent ootight.
“
Youcould'
vej
ustfi
xedthel
ightformeandI
woul
dn'
thavet
oliveli
keakhoisan,
”Isnap.
Hef
rowns.
Ihat
ehi m.Hecould'
vef
ixedmylightandsavedme
fr
om thoseevi
lMthembubr ot
her
s.Whydidhekil
la
manifhecan'tst
andupf orhi
sshit
?Whyar emen
soevi
landinconsi
derat
e?
“Youarenotangryaboutthel
ight,Iknowyou.Look
i
t'snotsafef
ormet obehere,theytookNkanyi
so
andthey'r
ecomingafterme.ButIhadt ocomesee
you,areyouokay?”
“
DoIl
ookokay?
”Iask.
“
Att
it
ude!
”Hewar
ns.
Sigh!Thi
si smybr ot
her
,heiswayol
derthanme,
I
shouldn'
tletangercont
rolme.Hei
sstil
lcal
m
though,t
heMazwakheIknowwoul d've
repr
imandedme.Iguessapar
tofhi
m admi
tst
hat
hedisappoi
ntedme.
“
I'
m okay,
theydi
dn'
tdoanyt
hingt
ome,
”Isay.
“Iknewt heywoul dn't.
”Hescr at
cheshi sbeardand
sighsheavily.Hel ookslikeacaveman, Idon'
tknow
wher ehehidesori fheeatsanything.Hiseyes
fl
ickersanger.IfIwast oputacombt hroughhis
hairitwouldsurelybr eaksint
opi eces.Idon'tknow
whyhei sn'tfri
endlywi ththebarbers.
“Thi
si stemporaryHlahla,
Iwil
lsett
lethi
sout
tomorrow.Inthemor ningpackyourbagandgot
o
kwaMal ume,I'
llf
etchyouoncet hedusthas
sett
led,”hesays.
TomorrowtheMt hembusareburyi
ngthei
rfat
her
,
theycan'
tsett
leanythi
ngwi
thhim.Idoubthe'
d
dist
urbthefuner
al,Imeant
hat'
sjustcr
ueland
i
nhuman.
“
Tomor
row?
”Ir
aisemyeyebr
ows.
Henodshi
shead.He'
snotgoi
ngt
ospel
lthi
sout
f
orme.
“
Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
”Iask.
Heavysi
lence.
“
CanIgetyouanyt
hingt
oeat
?”Iask.
“
No,
”
Myfor
eheadf
urr
ows.Hehashungerwr
it
tenal
lover
hi
m.
“
I'
m onast
ri
ctini
ti
ati
on,Ican'
teatanyt
hingot
her
t
hanwhatI
'mtoldtoeat
.”
“
Idon'
tunder
stand,
”Isay.
“Ineedt obestrengthenedf ortomor row.It
'sawar
Hlahla,Imightnotcomeback.TheMt hembusonl
y
understandonel anguage, bloodmustbespi l
t
beforewegetequal ityi
nt hisar ea.Iwatchedmy
mot herdieatthesideofther oadbecauset hey
closedtheroadf orthestupidf arm.”
Hemightnotcomeback?Ican'
tlosehi
m,heknows
t
hathe'
sallt
hatIhave.
“NoMazwakhe,
youdon'
thavetofi
ght
.RememberI
wil
lgetmytr
adeandwe'
llmoveawayfrom her
e.
That'
swhyyousentmet
oschool,
sothatwecan
havebet
terl
ives,
”Iremi
ndhi
m,hopi
ngt
hati
t'
llput
hi
m backtohissenses.
Hechuckl
esandget
sonhi
sfeet
.
“Youdi
dn'
twri
teyourf
inalexams,
theyt
ookt
hat
awayfr
om youremember?”
Hejusthadtor
emindmet hat
!Ei
therwaythat'
son
Ngcwethi
,andhi
m al
one.Hedestroyedmyf uture,
nott
hewholeMthembuclan.Buther el
easedme, I
don'
tknowwhyhediditbutapartofmei sgrateful
.
“Ihavet
oleave,
don'
tfor
getwhatIsaid,
leave
beforet
hesuncomesout,”hesays.
Iguessther
eisnowaytost
opt
his.Al
lIcandoi
s
prayforhi
ssafer
etur
n.
“
Pleasebesaf
e,”Isay.
Hesmi l
es,butitdoesn'treachhiseyes.Hehasonl y
onearm oftheoverallon, t
heothersleeveisloose
belowhisarmr eveal
inghi smuscularar mthathas
i
ziphandl
aar oundhiswr i
standagemst one
bracel
etthatmothermadef orhi
m.Shemademe
oneaswel lbutIcan'
ttellyouwher eitis.
“Youtakecareofyoursel
fandstopbei ngstubborn
Hlahl
a.Imeani t,
stopbei
ngstubbor n.
”Hegi vesme
astarethatusuall
yhasmeagr eeingtoeverythi
ng
hesays.Ijustshrugmyshoulders,hesighsand
walksout.
Ibl
owof fthelampandstruggl
ewi
tht
hepossi
bil
it
y
ofneverseeinghi
m agai
n.
Tomor rowI'
m notgoingt
omyuncle'
shouse,
my
brotherisgoingtoawar,
Ishoul
dbesomewhere
aroundwai t
ingforhi
sret
urn.
.
.
THEMTHEMBUHOMESTEAD

Afteralongservi
cet
hepast
orfi
nallyreadsaverse
toaccompanyMt hembutohi
seternalroom.
Everyonestandupandal
lowBusikhayatoleadout
thecoffi
n.
Heissingi
ngi
hubot
hatcal
lst
heat
tent
ionofhi
s
ancest
ors:
“
Indl
ondl
oigobi
le
I
hlangabezeni
,mayi
ne!
Mayi
n'i
mvul
ali
bal
ele.
"
Hisbr ot
herssingalongwi thhim.Thepier
cing
scream oftheirmotherriseaboveihubo.
Busikhaya’
seyeshavet urnedred.Heistr
yingnot
tobreak,nothi
nghur tshim asseeinghismotheri
n
pain.TheNgwaneshaven' tpaidforwhatt
heydid,
andt hatj
ustinfur
iateshim evenmor e.
Theywalksl
owl
y,surr
oundt
hekr
aalandf
inal
ly
st
opattheendoftheyar
d.
“
Awushi
ngeAwushi
nge!
”-Mndenical
lsout
.
Theylif
tthecoff
inovertheirshoul
dersandr
unto
thecemeteryl
ikethey'
rejustcarr
yingaboxof
tomatoes.
Othersarechanti
ngback:“
Uyashi
ngaumsunu
kanina,
Uyashinga!”
Dustt wi
rl
sup,womenpickuptheirpacesandtryt
o
keepup.Thewholescenehasturnedtosomething
else.Ever
yone'
sbl
oodisboil
ingup.It'
smorethan
j
ustalossoft
heMt hembus,
thewhol
ecommuni
ty
l
ostanimport
antf
igure.
Inthemidstofal
lthecommotionandef
fusionof
emotionsNgcwethii
sfol
lowi
ngbehindcal
ml y.He
keepssighi
ngheavil
yandbrushi
nghisshoulders.
Theyhaveplacedthecoff
inneart
hegr ave.
Busikhayai
sstandingatt
hetopofit
,facinga
cr
owdofment hatarecl
appi
nghandsandsi ngi
ng
aft
erhim.
Whenthepastorarr
ivest
heycutt
hesongandgi
ve
hi
m hi
splace.Onewomanst ar
tachur
chsong,i
t'
sa
nor
malfuneralagai
n.
Maybenotf
orsol
ong.
“
Cutt
hesong!
”Ngcwet
hishout
soutoft
hebl
ue.
Ever
yonel
ookathi
m wi
thconf
usi
on.
Het
akesr
eedmat
sandt
hrowst
hem t
ohi
suncl
es.
Busi
khayagr
abshi
m andpul
l
shi
m asi
de.
“
Andnow?
”heasks.
“
Weneedt
obur
yhi
mimmedi
atel
y,
”-Ngcwet
hi.
Busikhayafrowns.Nowi snott
heti
mef orhis
ri
ddles.They'r
esayinggoodbyetothei
rfat
her,i
t
shouldbedonewi thdigni
tyandaccordi
ngto
tr
aditi
on.
“I
t'
snotsafe,Icanfeeli
tonmyshoul
der
s.”-
Ngcwethiexplai
ns.
Busikhayasti
lldoesn'
tgetit
,butwhenitcomesto
Ngcwet hit
heygowher everhiswindisbl
owing
them.Hei sal
wayswei rdandr i
ght.
Mt hembu'sbodyist
akenoutoft hecoff
in,pl
aced
ont hereedmatandcoveredwithablanketanda
cow' sski
nover.Mndenigrabsaspadeandst art
s
breakingthecoff
ini
ntopieces.
Thepastorhastoreadhisversesasfastashecan.
Busi
khayadigssandwi t
hashovelandst andsnext
tot
hegrave.AlltheMthembusscoopsabi tofi
t
andthr
owi ti
nsidethegraveasasignofgoodbye.
Womenr et
urnbackhomet ofeastonthe
ref
reshmentswhi lemenstruggletofil
lupthegrave.
Assoonast heyfini
shtheyallgodownt otheri
ver
t
obat h.Ngcwet hiaskshi
sbrothersthatt
heyusea
di
ff
erentr
iverf
rom ot
her
s.
“
Ican'tbel
ievewehadt
obur
yhi
mli
ket
hat
.”-
Mnotho.
Hei sunhappyabouthowqui cklytheburialwas
carriedout.Sur
elyt
hei
rfatherdeservedal it
tl
eshow,
hewasamanamongstmen.Hecoul dseepeopl e
whi sper
ingbehindt
hei
rhands, againthey'l
lbe
trendinginthewhol
evil
lage,nowf orburyingthei
r
fatherli
keacat.
“I
tmakesnodi f
ference,hewasn'tgoi
ngtowakeup
evenifwehadaf uneralschedul
edfor12hour
s,”
Busikhayar
esponds.
Mnothoshootsalookathim.Wasitr
eall
y
necessar
yforhi
mt orespondl
iket
hat?Hecanbe
veryi
nsensi
ti
ve.
“I
'
mjustsurprisedabouthowwomenhur r
iedback
home.Don'tt
heyhavef oodatt
hei
rhomes? ”
Mndenisays,shaki
nghisheadindi
sbel
ief.
“
Real
lynow?I
t'
sfood,
whocar
es?
”-Busi
khaya.
Mndenishar
esal
ookwi
thMnot
ho;her
ewego
agai
n.
Theygett
otheri
ver
,taket
hei
rcl
othesof
f,scoopsa
bi
tofumswaniandbath.
“
Youhear
dthat
?”Ngcwet
hiasksj
umpi
ngoutoft
he
wat
er.
Thebushisquiet,onlythesoundofthebir
dsand
runni
ngwaterdisturbthepeace.Hi
sbrothersl
ook
athim wi
thconfusion.
“
No,
let
'sl
eavenow!
”
Theyal
ljumpoutofthewaterandputthei
rclot
hes
onandrunaft
erhim.Theydidn’
thearanyt
hingbut
whenNgcwethisaysrunyourun.
Therei
sasmokedanci ngit
swayt othesky.I
t’
s
comingri
ghtfr
om t
heirhome.Gunshotsfoll
ow.It
's
abitst
eep,t
heycannotrunfastenough.
AsBusikhayarequestedwhent hecoffi
nwentout ,
ther
ainstart
spouring.Thesundi sappearsbehind
adarkcloud,abri
ghtlight
ningkeepsf l
ashingever
y
nowandt hen.
Gunshot
sst
opswhent
heyar
eaboutt
ogett
othei
r
home.Kidsandwomenar ecr
yingandcall
ingout
forhel
p.Noneofthem knowswheret ost
art.Whoi
s
ali
ve?Whoisnot?Wher earet
heattacker
s?
Mazwakheappearsbehi
ndthet ent
, helooks
st
rai
ghtatthem.Theydon'
treact,i
nsteadt hey
st
andgroundedonthesamespotl ikethey're
el
ect
ricshocked.
“Thi
sisformysi ster
.”Hepoi nt
satNgcwethiand
pull
sthetri
gger.OnlythenBusikhaya’
ssenses
crawli
n.Het akesouthisgunandshout sorder
sto
histwostandingbrother
s.ButMazwakhei sgone.
Hejustdisappearedinfrontofthei
reyes.
Ngcwethii
sonthegr
oundgroaningl
ikeabul
l.Hi
s
br
other
sarerunni
ngovert
hehill
scal
lingt
he
Ngwanesout.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

Thegunshavef
inal
lysi
lenced.Ihavewor
nmy
dresswithit
sinsideout
.Mymot herusedtosayit
protect
syourlovedonefrom goi
ngthroughpai
n.I
havecalledGodwi t
heverypossi
bleprai
se.
Ohnot
her
eisanot
herone!
“
OhNkosi!”Ihearsomeoneexclai
m behindme.I
l
ookback,i
t'
sNkanyiso'
smot her,
thethi
rdwif
e.She
f
elldownonherkneeswithtearsrunni
ngdown.
“Lesosihl
aleenyameni.
”-Mamkhul
usays.Sheis
theexpertofever
ythi
ng,butIdi
dn'
tknowanal
yzi
ng
gunshotswasoneoft hem.
Aft
erthatgunshotit
’squietagain.Ir
ememberthat
myex-classmatel
ivesclosetotheMt hembus.I
scr
olldownmycont actslookingforhernumber
.
Ohf
uck!Who'
scal
li
ngmenow?
“
Pleasecal
lmel at
erI'
mi nt
hemi ddl
eof
……”Idon't
f
ini
shthesentence,mylect
urer
’svoi
cecomesto
t
hespeaker.
“ZanamuhlaIhopeyou'r
ewell
.Iwaswor r
iedwhenI
foundoutthatyoumissedal
lyourf
inal
examinat
ions.”
I'
vebeentryi
ngt
of orgetthi
s.There'ssomuchto
dealwit
hatthemoment ,
confronti
ngthefactt
hatI
mightnothaveafutureisthelastthi
ngIneed.
“ButIjustreceivedthemostexciti
ngnews,you'
ve
beenchosenf orICEBOFUND.Youcanwr it
eyour
examinationagai nnextyear
,yourfeeswi
llbe
coveredaswel lasaccommodat i
on.”
I'
veneverhear
dofI
CEBOFUNDbef
ore,butwho
cares?Thi
shasmademywhol
esourdaybett
er.
“
OhMyGod!Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay.
”
“
That
'snotal
l……”
Ther
eismor
e?Fr
eet
ranspor
tmaybe?
“They'
l
lfi
ndajobforyouassoonasyouobtai
n
yourqual
if
icat
ionandyouwon'
tpayacentback,
”
shesays.
I'
ml ostf
orwords.It
houghtGoddidn'
tli
stent
omy
prayerswher
easHe'sbeenwait
ingfortheper
fect
ti
ming.
Pit
yIcan'tshar
ethenewswit
hanyoneandIcan'
t
rej
oiceasmuchasIwould'
velovedt
o.
OhIwascal
li
ngMandi
sa.
Sheanswer
sjustwhenI
'
m aboutt
odr
op.
“Gel
iza.
”That
'showshecal
lsever
yone.Idon'
tli
kei
t,
butI
'm asnobanywayandshedoesn'
tcare.
“
Whogotshot
?”Igost
rai
ghtt
othepoi
nt.
“OMGZanamuhl
a!DoyouseethatMthembu
brot
herwi
thawei
rdvoi
ceandsea-br
owneyes?
”
Whatonear
th?Ther
eisabr
ownsea?
“
Not heycan'
tbesea-br
own,
thatdoesn'
texi
st.Just
t
ellmeifit
'sMazwakhewhogotshot,
”Isay
i
mpat i
ent
ly.
“Mazwakhewasthere?”Shockandcur
iosi
tyhas
hervoi
ceri
singup.Ihavetolowert
hephone'
s
vol
ume.
“
Mandi
saj
ustt
ellme,
”Isay.
“
Wel
lIsai
dit
'sNgcwet
hiwhodi
ed.
”
Myhandsshake,
Ial
mostl
oset
hegr
ipofmyphone.
“Hedied?”Iask,
sil
ent
lypr
ayi
ngt
hatIdi
dn'
thear
cor
rectl
y.
“Obvi
ousl
y,Imeani
twasgunnotasl
ingshot
,”she
says.
Idr
opt
hecal
landhol
dont
othewal
l.
Ngcwet hidied?Hewascr uelbuthesavedme.In
factscratchthat
,hewasn' tcruelImadeitupinmy
head.Yeshesetmymot her '
srondavelonfi
rebut
destroyi
ngmymot her
’smemor ywasbeyondhis
i
ntentions.Hewassor r
y, Isawi ti
nhiseyes.
“WasitMazwakhe?”Mamkhuluasksveryrandoml
y.
Ican'
tevent
racesympathyi
nhervoice.I
tsounds
l
ikedeepdownit'
swhatshe'
shopingfor.
“
No,
itwasNgcwet
hi,
”Isay.
Shedoesn'tknowwhot hati
sbutsheshows
remorseanywaybecausei twasn' tMazwakhe.We
areonefamilybutthereisahugedi sti
nct
ion
regar
dingwhosechi l
dthisis.Mazwakhei snotl
iked
becausehe'stheheirofthef amil
y,andIguessI'
m
notli
kedforjustbei
nghi ssister
.

Mazwakhedoesn'
tcomehome.I
t’
sbeenf
ourdays
si
ncetheyattackedt
heMt hembusandeveryone
hascomebackexcepthi m.ButIknowthathe'
s
okaywhereverheis,
IjustwishIcanseehim.
Wehaven' thear
danythingaboutNgcwethi’
sfuner
al.
Ikeept hi
nki
ngabouthim.Myhear tissor
e.Hewas
dif
ferentfr
om other
s.Hedidn'
ttal
korsmi l
emuch,
buttherewasagenui nehumaninsideofhim.
Thereisameet i
ngt oday.Nowt hatthingsaretense
i
ndunahasseent heneedt ocalleveryonetogether.
Idon'tt
hinktheMt hembusar ereadyt otal
k,neit
her
aremybr others.Thi ngsmightt
ur nevenmor eugl y
i
nt hatmeeting,whi chiswhyI'm packingmybags
andleavingasMazwakheasked.

Idon'
tknowhowl ongI '
m goingtobeatmyuncl es,
hopeful
lyit
'l
lbeforaf ewweeks.Idon'tsay
goodbye,nobodycar esanyway.Iwalkthrought he
for
estandjointhemai nroadt hat
'sgoi
ngtot ake
meovert hebri
dget hatservesasaborderbet ween
MpofanaandOsi ndisweniwher emyuncler esides.
“
Zol
wandl
eee,
”
Myear
sgott
obedecei
vingme.
It
urnar
oundast
hecarst
opsaf
ewf
eetawayf
rom
me.
“Zi
hlabat
hizol
wandl
e,whatapl
easur
emeet
ingyou
agai
n.”
Yesit'
sMndeniMt
hembu.Heissit
ti
ngwithMnot
ho
atthefr
ont
.Myeyesnearl
ypoptothegr
oundwhen
theymeetamanwho'ssupposedt
obedead.
Ngcwethii
sali
ve?Don'tgetmewrongIt
rust
Mandisa'
sgossi
pskil
lsbutthi
sissometwist
ed,
misl
eadingnewsever
.
“
Don'
tlooksoscar
ed,
”Mnot
hosayscheeki
ly.
Theyki
dnappedmeonce, t
heymightdoi
tagai
n.I
hugmybagont hechestandtakeafewst
epsback.
Mndenibr
eaksi
ntol
aught
er.
“
Runni
ngi
sahabittoyou.Comeon, geti
nthecar
we'
l
ldr
opyouatyouruncl
e's,
”hesays.
Myheartalmostst
opsbeat
ing.Howdidheknow
whereIam goi
ng?AndNgcwet hi
’
scalmface,
isn'
t
hesupposedtobeinpai
norsomet hi
ng?Hegot
shot
,itwasn'
tasl
ingshot
.
TheMndenii
diothi
tst
hehooter
.Thi
sisdr
awi
ngme
at
tent
ionoft
hemountains.
“
ComeonHl
ahl
a,”-
Mndeni
.
Hi
m andMnot
hobumpf
ist
sandl
augh.
EvenifIrunthey'
llcat
chme.Iswall
owmyf ear
s
andgot othecar.Ngcwethiopenst
hedoorand
shi
ft
st otheotherseat.
“
Whodoyoul
ike?Ri
hanna?
”-Mndeni
.
Healwayshassomethi
ngtosay.Ihonest
lydi
dn'
t
t
hinkourpat
hswouldcrosssosoon.
Heturnsmusi
cupbeforestar
ti
ngthecar.I
t'
s
Beyonce,
notRi
hanna.Idon'
tcareanyway.
Aret
heyreal
lygoingtodropmeatmyuncle'
s?I
fso,
doIst
il
lcal
litahidi
ng?Itseemsl
iket
hey'
reont
he
l
oopabouteveryt
hing.
I
ndeedt
hecarst
opsbel
owmyuncl
e'
shouse.
“
Sweethome!
”
That
'sMndeni
,obvi
ousl
y.
“
Ummm t
hankyouf
ort
hel
if
t,
”Isay.
“
You'
rewel
come,
”-Hi
m agai
n.
Ngcwethi
’sarm passesi
nf r
ontofme,hisbody
l
eansagainstmineasher eachest
othedoorto
openforme.Hiscolognefil
lsmynostr
il
s,Itr
ynot
tobedist
ract
edbyi t
.
Ifeelsomethi
ngdr oppinginsi
demyjacketpocket
.
WhenIt urnmyheadt olookathi
m hehasthis
stonecoldface.Ican'
tevenaskwhathedi d,hi
s
facealonemur der
sme.
Thecardr
ivesof
f.Ij
umpupandt aket
hejacketof
f.
Rememberhethrewapetr
olbombt ot
hehouse,
whoknowswhathecould'
vesli
dintomypocket.
Acel
lphonef
all
stot
hegr
oundast
hej
acketf
li
esi
n
t
heai
r .
Whydi dhegivemeacel l
phone?Itl
ooksli
kea
cel
lphonethathasbeenownedf orawhil
e.It
's
l
ockedandt here'
sapatt
ern.Thi
sisstr
ange.DoI
thr
owi tawayorkeepit
?
“
Zanamuhl
ait
'syou!
”Mal
umesaysj
oyf
ull
yand
comest ohelpmewi t
hthebag.Nowther
e'snoti
me
todecideaboutt
hephone,Ipicki
tupandputit
backinsidet
hejacket
.
“You'
regrown,”hesayswhateveryr
elat
ivetell
syou
aft
ertheyhaven'tseenyoui
naf ewmont hs.
“Mazwakhet
oldusyou’
dcome5daysago.Your
auntsl
aught
eredachi
ckenandr
oll
eddumpl
ings
thi
nki
ngyouwerecoming.
”
If
orceasmi
le.
“Auntal
waysblowthi
ngsoutofpr
opor
ti
on.
Somethi
ngdelayedme,”Isay.
“
It
'sokay,
youar
eher
enow.
”
Het akesmet otheroom I
'm goi
ngtousedur i
ngmy
stay.Itbel
ongedtomyl atecousi
n,shewast hei
r
onlychild,
whenshedi edeveryt
hingchanged.My
auntwasabi g-
bonedwoman, butnowyoucan
bl
owherwi thahair
dryer.
“
Packyourstuf
finsi
dethecupboar
dandcomet o
t
heki
tchentoseeyouraunt,
”hesaysandl
eaves.
Ist
artpacki
ngmycl
othesandt
oil
etr
ies.It
hought
I'
dfeelsafeonceIgether
e,buti
t'
sevenmor
e
unsafethanbackhome.
Thephonerings.Idon'
trecogni
zet
heri
ngi
ngt
one.I
don'
trecei
vecall
swi t
hamaskandisong.
Ohsnap!IhaveNgcwet
hi’
sphone.
Itakei
tandl
ookatt
hescr
een,
thenumberi
snot
saved.
DoIanswer
?
I
tkeepsr
ingi
ng,
theper
sonwon'
tgi
veup.
Isl
idet
hegr
eenbut
tonandl
if
tthephonet
omyear
.
“
It
'sNgcwet
hi.
”-t
hescr
atchyvoi
ce.
Shockmeagai
n!
Hegi
vesmehi
sphoneandt
hencal
lsi
t.
“
It
'sZanamuhl
a,”Isay.
“Iknow,”hesaysandstaysquietforafewseconds.
Icanf eelt
heuncomfor
tablenessinhissi
lence.
“Pleasedon'tsl
eept
her
et onight
,”hesays.
Mychestst
artbeat
ingdr
ums.
“
Why?
”Iask.
“I
t'
snotsaf
eforyout
her
e.Canyout
rustmewi
th
somethi
ng?”
Inodmyheadwi thoutthi
nki
ng.Ihavenoreasonto
trustanyMt hembu, butI'
vemadeupNgcwet hit
obe
differ
ent.I
'
mt hatpersonwhoswimswi t
hherown
thoughts.
“
Zano?
??”
Ohsnap,hecan'tseemenoddi
ngmyhead,
thi
sis
notavi
deocallIhavetoopenmymout
h.
“
Yes…yesIcant
rustyou,
”Isay.
“
WhenIcalll
atert
akeyourbagandsneakoutt
othe
r
oad.Iwi
llt
akeyoutoasaferpl
ace.
”
“
Saf
erpl
ace?
”Iask.
“
Yousai
dyoucant
rustme.
”
Ohwel
l.
“
Aren'
tyousupposedtobedead?”Idi
dn'tputmuch
t
houghttot
hatquest
ion.Icanbeaweirdoaswell.
“
No.
”
Mndeniwoul
d'vebr
okeitdownf orme.ButIdon'
t
quest
ionf
urt
her,wear
enotf r
iends.
“Whatifotherpeoplecall
?”Iask.Iwouldn'
tli
keto
pickBusikhaya'
scall.He'
sthelastpersonIwishto
haveaconver sati
onwi t
honear t
h,despit
eour
famil
iesrival
ry,
heisnotmypi eceofcompany.
“Theywon't
.”Againhedoesn'
texplai
nanyt
hing,
he
j
ustgivesmet hatandIshoul
dtrusthi
swordas
promised.
Heendst
hecal
l.
Il
ookatthepackedcupboar
d.Somuchwor
kfor
not
hing!
I
'm abouttorunawaywit
hamanIhar dlyknow.
Thi
smakesmequest i
onthesafet
yofmyf amil
y.
I
t'
sobvi oust
hatthemeet
ingwon'tsolveanythi
ng.
TheMt hembubrother
sdi
dn'tat
tend,neit
herdid
Mazwakhe.
[
11/
19,
09:
40] :Chapt
er3
ZANAMUHLA
Itwasalongdr i
ve.Il ostdi
recti
onwhenweent er
ed
atarroad,itmight'vebeenat wo-hourdr i
veormor e.
Ihavenoi deawher eIam, butit
'sahugehousewi t
h
acoupleofr ooms.MaybenotashugeasImakei t
tobe,butit'
sbet t
ert hanmostMpof anahouses.It
's
buil
tbett
er ,
abi tmoder nandwell furni
shed.There
i
sasmal lscreentelevisionandal lotherel
ectr
onics
thatmakel i
feeasy.
Ididn'thavesomeonet oshowmear ound,
Ngcwet hilef
taft
erseeingmein.Hetoldmet ostay
i
ndoor sandkeept hephoneon.I'
m goingr
oom t o
room injustmyunder wear
s.Therei
sasmal ltaste
offreedom inthi
s.Icandoanythi
ngIwant,nobody
i
swat chingme.
I'
m notinani sl
and,Icanhearnei
ghbour syel
li
ngat
thei
rkidsandcar shooti
ng.Theroadmustbe
nearer
, whichissuchareli
ef.Hedidn'
tthrowmeon
thedeserts.
Thephoneri
ngsjustasIstepoutofthebathr
oom.I
st
il
lhavehi
sphone,it
'slocked.Ionl
ytakecal
lsand
watchthet
ime.Heinstr
uctedthatIswit
chmineoff
.
“
It
'sNgcwet
hi,
”hesayswhenIpi
ckup.
Asi
fitcoul
d'vebeensomeoneel
se.
“
I'
m her
e,”Isay.
“
Pleaseopent
hedoor
.”
Myeyesqui
ckl
ygotothedoor.Fuck,
I'
m hal
fnaked.
Ir
eal
lyt
houghthewasgone,whydidhecomeback.
“
Zano?”Iswearhi
svoi
cei
sthemostawf
ult
hing
I
'
veeverli
stenedt
o.
“Coming…Justafewseconds.
”Ir
ushtot
he
bedroom whereIputmybagandputont
hefi
rst
dressmyhandsgr ab.
Iunl
ockt hedoor.I
tsoothesmyheartthathe
doesn'
thaveaspar ekey.NowItrusthi
m
wholeheart
edlyeventhoughIdon'
tknowt hereason
behi
ndhi sgoodness.
Whenthedooropenshi
sfacet r
ansf
ormsint
oawe.
Hehasthi
sfrownonhisface.Il
ookaroundt
oseei
f
t
here'
snoali
enbehindme.
“You…..
”Hestopshi
mselfandwalksi
nwit
habig
box.“Ibr
oughtyout
his,
justi
ncaseyouwantt
obe
busywit
hsomet
hingproduct
ivewhi
leyou'
reher
e.”
Hechangest
oanothersubj
ectandpul
lshi
sface
i
ntopl
ace.
Iopentheboxandf indbooks.Civi
lTechnology
studyguidesandBui ldi
ngScienceprescri
bed
books.I
t'
smyN6st udymat er
ial
,awholeofi t
,and
somef i
ctionalbooks.
“Howdi
dyouknowt
hecour
seIwasst
udyi
ng?
”I
ask.
Hef
rowns.
Inarrowmyeyes.Inevert
oldhim anyt
hingr
elat
ed
tomyschool
, f
orhimtobringexactl
ywhatI'
l
lneed
forexami
nat
ionnextsemesterbaffl
esme.
“
Ummm.
..
Ijustdi
d,”hesays.
Thi
shastobethedumbestanswerhehasever
gi
ven.Hi
sweir
dnessi
sstart
ingtounset
tl
eme.
“Isee,t
hankyou.”Il
if
ttheheavyboxandgotothe
bedroom andplacei
tinfrontoft
hewardr
obe.I
t'
s
thosewardrobeswit
hmi r
rorsondoor
s,Iri
seupto
therefl
ect
ionofastupidgirl
weari
ngadress
backwar
ds.
Lord!Thisiswhyhewasawestr
uckwhenIopened
thedoorforhim.Ontopoft
hatt
hedressi
sugly,I
'
m
j
ustadi stur
bingsi
ght
.
Iquickl
ychanget
oaf
lor
aloneandputshoesonf
or
decency.
Aghostofasmil
efl
it
ter
sacr
osshiscol
dfacewhen
heseesmewalki
ngbacktowhatI
'
llcal
lal
ivi
ng
room.
“
Youdidn'tt
ellmeIwaswear
ingadr
esst
hewr
ong
way,
”Isay.
“
Wer
eyou?
”Hehashi
slef
teyebr
owl
if
ted.
Idon'tknowwhyIhavet onoti
cet hecol
ourofhis
eyes.Browneyesarecommon, buthi
sar eear
thl
y
brownwi thadeepsoulrefl
ect
inginthem.Hisface
default
stonormal.Buthisnor
mali snotsonormal.
Hest ar
esatmeunt i
lIoccupyaseatatt heopposi
te
si
de.
“
Howdi
dyour
ecoversoqui
ckl
y?”Iask.
Hef
rowns.
Isweari
fhedoest
hisagai
nI'
l
lnotr
epeatmysel
f.
“Howdi dyourecoversoquickl
y?Iheardthatyou
wereshot.”I
'
m surehehear dmet hefi
rstti
me,he
justhadtofr
ownsot hatt
hebrokenrecordcan
keepgoing.
“Ihaven'
trecover
ed,
Ihaveabandagear
oundmy
stomach.”
Oh,
that
'snoteasyt
otel
l.
“Areyougoi
ngtoavengeyoursel
f?”Thissounds
stupi
d,hehas1000reasonst
owantMazwakhe
dead,butapar
tofmeexpectshimt ojustf
orgi
ve.
“
No,
Iwi
lldef
endmysel
f,
”hesays.
I'
m notsatisf
iedwit
ht hatanswer.Ihavealotof
questi
ons.Howdi dtheyknowt hatIwasgoi ngt
o
myuncl e'
shouse?Di dthemeetingsolveanythi
ng?
Andmost ly,whyishesavi ngme?
“
Whosesi
dear
eyouon?
”Iask.
“
Ngi
koJamakaMni
siwemvul
aizul
uli
bal
ele.
”
Ican'
tcontr
olmyself
,Ir
ollmyeyes.Di
dhereal
ly
needtoreci
tehi
sclannames?Ionlyaskedwhose
si
dehei
son.
“
Thenwhyar
eyousavi
ngme?
”Iask.
“I
’
m notsavi
ngyou.
”Itsoundsmoreli
kehe'st
ell
ing
hi
mselft
hanhe'
sanswer i
ngthequest
ion.
“
Real
ly?
”Iask.
Heget supandpi ckhi
skeysandcellphone.Iwas
j
usthallucinat
ingwhenIsaidhehadacol dcr uel
face.NowIseet herealNgcwet
hi’
scoldface.When
hiseyesdar tt
omi net
heyemitfi
re,
hequi cklylooks
away,givingmet hesi
ghtofhi
sclenchedj aws.
Hel
eaves,
wit
houtsayi
nggoodbye.
MaybeIshouldn'
thavequest
ionedhi
m.Heis
al
readydoi
ngsomuchf orme, hehasgoneagai
nst
hi
sfamilyt
wiceforme.
Icannotcal
lhi
m, t
hephoneislocked,
he'
stheonly
onewhocancal lme.Idon'
tknowwhyIwaitforhi
s
cal
l,Ist
ayupwiththephoneinmyhandwat chi
ng
someshow.
Imight
'vef
all
enasl
eepr
ightt
her
eonthecouch,
whenIwakeupmywholebodyissor
e.Il
ook
aroundinreal
izati
onofwher eIam andthoughts
st
arttrai
li
ngin.Ihopenothinghappenedtomy
uncle,
Ngcwet hisai
dImustt rusthi
m.Andi f
Mazwakhedoesn' tdoanythinghewillbesafe.
Ist
andundertheshowerandtur
nonwar m water
.If
wehadshower sathomeI'
dbathtent
imesaday.
Theyshoweroffal
lthef
ati
gueandref
reshyou.I
canli
vethi
sli
fe.
Iwonderwhosehouseisthi
s.I
tdoesn'
tlookl
ikea
famil
yhousenordoesitl
ookli
keanyoneever
permanent
lyl
ivedi
nit.
Iwrapmybodyi natowelandgopeekthr
oughout
thewindow,
justtohavealookatmysurr
oundi
ngs.
Therearepeopl
eontheroad,thenei
ghbouri
safew
yardsawaydoingherl
aundry.Andther
eisacar
,
ri
ghtoutsi
dethehouseI'
min.
Idon'
tknowhowl ongi
t'
sbeenthere,i
fitwas
Ngcwethihewould'
veknockedandcamei n.Coul
d
i
tbehisbrother
s?Whatam Igoingtodo?They
can'
tseemeher e.
Igobackt
omybedr
oom andputdecentcl
otheson
andwai
tbytheki
tchenforaknock.Ti
megoes,
the
per
soni
sn'
tcomingin.
Threehour
slater
,Ihaven'
teatenanyt
hing,
I'
mi nthe
ki
tchenhol
dingmybr eat
h.Final
lyt
hephonerings.
“
Ther
eisacarher
e,”Isaywit
hmyvoi
cekeptl
ow.
I
nmyeyesthedoorhandlei
smovi
ng.
“
Okay,
”-Hi
m.
“Yousai
dI'
l
lbesafeher
e.”Il
osecont
rolofmyt
one
andsnapathi
m.Heshouldn'
tbesocalm,myli
fe
coul
dbeindanger
.
“Butwear
etal
king,
Iassumeyou'
rest
il
lsaf
e,”he
says.
Heisanidi
otofnote.Whyi smyvoicekeptsolowif
I'
m saf
e?I'
mtremblingont hi
schai
randseeinghis
brot
herBusi
khayabr eaki
ngthedooranyminutei
n
myhead.
“
Youhavet
oeat
,”hesays.
Thi
sguy!
“
What
?”Iask.
“EatZano,
peopl
eeattost
ayal
ive.Youar
enot
JesusChri
st,
li
vingbyt
hehol
yspiri
t.
”
Am Ionthecal
lwi
thMndeni
?Becauset
hisi
s
somethi
nghewouldsay.
“Iwil
leat,I
'
mjust
….wai
t,howdi
dyouknowt
hatI
haven'teat
en?
”
Si
lence.
Heisf
rowningwhereheisandIhavetorepeat
mysel
f.Lor
dknowshowmucht hisannoysme, but
i
t'
sapartofli
feIhavet
oaccept
.
“HowdidyouknowthatIhaven'
teat
en?
”It
rynott
o
soundasir
ri
tat
edasIam.
“
Iassumed,
”-Hi
m.
“Doyouhavecamer
ashere?Ar
eyouwatchi
ngme
NgcwethiMt
hembu?Becauset
hat
'st
heonlyway
you’
dknowthis!
”
NowIdon'
tcar
eaboutt
hecarout
side.I
'
m shout
ing,
t
heper
soncandowhathewants.
WhodoesNgcwet
hithi
nkheis?Pl
ant
ingcamer
as
andwat
chi
ngmelikeathi
ef.
“
No!Ther
eisn'
tanyt
hingl
iket
hat
,Ipr
omi
seyou.
”
That
'snothowhespeaks,
hei
sgui
lt
y.
“
Zanamuhl
a?”-
Him.
Iendt
hecal
landst
artsear
chi
ngf
orhi
dden
camer
as.
Thephonekeepsr
ingi
ng,
thatal
oneconf
ir
msmy
suspi
cions.
Idon'
tfi
ndanyt
hingandthati
nfur
iat
esmeeven
more.Heispr
obablywat
chingmeevennow.
Hef
inal
lyst
opscal
l
ing.
Il
eavet
hephoneont
heki
tchent
abl
eandgot
othe
bedr
oom t
oli
edownabi
t.
Iendedupnapping.Whenmyeyesopeni t'
salmost
sunsetandIhaven'teat
en.Myst omachi
sgroani
ng
andevenachi
ngt otheemptiness.
WhenIent erthekitchenamani nbl
ackleat
her
j
acketandnavypanti soccupyi
ngthechair
.I
thoughthedidn'thaveasparekey,Ieven
applaudedhimf orthat.
Het
urnshi
sheadandl
ooksatme.
“You'
ref
inal
lyawake,
”hesaysandcl
imbsof
fthe
chair
.
HowdidheknowthatIwasasl
eep?Ir
emai
nbyt
he
doorwi
thmyarmsfolded.
“
Youst
il
lthi
nkIpl
ant
edcamer
asher
e?”
“
Didn'
tyou?
”-Me.
“
No,
Ihavenor
easont
o.”
Hemustbet
hinki
ngt
hatI
'
m af
ool
.
“Oh,youjustassumedt
hatIhaven'
teat
en
coinci
dental
ly?”
Hecomescloserandstandsjustaf
ewinchesaway
fr
om me.Thatcol
ogneagain!Hesmell
ssogood.
Buti
tmustn'
tdist
ractme.
“If
elti
tandyousounddi
ff
erentwhenyou'r
e
hungry.
”Hethi
nksforamoment.“Yousoundl
ike
anoldocari
na.
”
Whatthef
ucki
socar
ina?AndIsoundl
ikeanol
d
one,
great
!
“
Youbecomeangrywi t
houtr
eali
zingi
t.That
'syou
whenyou'
rehungr
y,”hecont
inues.
“
Andyouknowthi
sbecauseyouonceki
dnapped
meandst
arvedme,
”Isay.
Thatmust
'vehi
tthener
ve.
“
Whatel
sedoIsoundl
ike?Asi
ckbee?
”
Hef
rowns.
Godt
akemenow!
“Zano,”hegrabsmyar m andpullsmeback.Inearl
y
bumpont ohischest
.Wear ebothshocked.I’ve
neverbeensocl osetohisglar
e.Myhear tis
pounding,it
'sli
kehiseyesarediggingthr
oughmy
soul.Hishandisstil
lonmyar m, holdi
ngme
str
ongl yandsafel
y.
“
Areyougoi
ngt
oeat
?”heasks.
Myheadinvol
untar
ynods.Hel
etsgoofmyarm,I
f
eelpowerl
ess.Hegoest
othefr
idgeandt
akest
he
margar
ineout.
Isi
tonthechai
randwat
chhi
m.Hesetstheplate
onthecount
erandl
aybr
eadsl
icesoni
t.Idi
dn't
knowmakingasandwi
chwassuchahardj
ob.The
margar
inei
sever
ywhereont
hebread.
“
Doyouknowhowt
omakef
ood?
”Iask.
Si
lence.
“
Ngcwet
hi!
”
Hel
ooksatmewi
tht
hatannoyi
ngf
rown.
“
What
?”heasks.
“Doyouhaveahear
ingproblem?Iaskedi
fyou
knowhowtomakefood,”Isay.
“Youarenott
heonl
yper
sonIli
stent
o,andnoI
don'
tknowhowtomakefood.
”
I'
m nottheonl
ypersonheli
stensto?Ther
eisno
oneelseinthi
shouse,unl
essifhehasvoi
cesinhi
s
head.
“
Thenletmedoi
t.
”Itaket
hekni
fefr
om hi
m and
t
akesomemargar
ineofft
hebr
ead.I
'ddi
eifIat
eit
wit
hsomuchfat
.
Imakeanothersandwichf
orhi
m andpourj
uicei
nto
gl
asses.Usual
lyIpourhal
fanddr
inkbef
oreIpour
therealone.ButIhavetobr
ingmymanner
sand
notactli
keI'm notusedt
ojuice.
Idon'tl
iket
ohavesomeonewatchi
ngmewhil
eI’
m
eati
ng,butI
'm hungr
ysoIhavenochoi
ce.
“Areyounotgoi
ngtoeat ?
”Iaskhalf
waywi
thmy
sandwich.Hehasn'
ttouchedhi
splate.
“
No,
”hesays.
Gosh,
hehat
est
hesandwi
chImade.
“
Idon'
treal
lyeatwheat
,”hesays.
Hi
sfacei
sful
lofgui
lt
.
“
Thi
sisasandwi
ch,
notwheat
,”Isay.
Hedoesn'
tsayanyt
hing.Ir
eal
lysoundstupi
d,he
meantt
hathedoesn'
teatfoodthati
sproduced
f
rom wheatandt
hatmeanshedoesn'teatbread.
“
MustImakeyousomethingelse?”Embarr
assment
i
swashi
ngalloverme.Whydidn'thetel
lmefrom
t
hest
art
.
“
Not
hankyou,
I'
m nothungr
y,”hesays.
Nowt
hisi
sawkwar
d.Ipi
ckmyj
uiceandsi
p.
Hi
sphoner
ings,
hestandsupandl
eavestheroom.
If
ini
shmysandwichqui
ckl
yandcl
earthetabl
e.
Hecomesbackaf t
erawhil
e.Inot
icet
hathe
doesn'
tlookokay.Hisf
aceispuff
edupandhecan
nolongerkeeptheeyecont
act.
“
Isever
ythi
ngokay?
”Iask.
Hesi
ghsheavil
yandst andsnextt
ome.Hi
ssi
ghs
ar
eextr
aor
dinari
lyheavy.
“
You'
rescar
ingme,
”Isay.
Heisr
eall
yscaringme.Thewayhi
sfaceandeyes
havej
ustchanged.
“
Idon'
tknowhowt
otel
lyout
his,
”-Hi
m.
Ohno,i
t'
sbadnews.MymindisonMazwakhe,
maybehisbr
other
swer
etel
li
nghimthatt
hey'
vegot
hi
m.
“
Yourf
ather
…hewasshot
,”hesays.
“
And?
??”Iask.
Hi
seyeswi
dens.
“
HewasshotZanamuhl
aandhedi
dn'
tmakei
t.
”
That
'ssad,ImeanI'
m anor
phannow,
butI
'
m st
il
l
wait
ingformorebadnews.
“
Anyt
hingel
se?
”Iask.
“
No,
it'
sjustt
hat
.”
Isighout ,
Ican’tsayi
nreli
ef,butther
e'sthatsense
ofrelaxati
on.Mazwakheistheonl ypersonItrul
y
careabout .Thatmanhaven'tseenmei nmont hs
event houghwest ayint
hesameyar d.Hecouldn’t
evencheckonmeaf t
erbei
ngki dnapped.
WhenIremovehandsof
fmyf
aceIf
indhi
m st
ari
ng
atme.
“
Doyouwantt
ogohome?
”heasks.
“
Isi
tsaf
e?”
“
No.
”
“
Wellt
henno,
justf
indoutwhent
hef
uner
ali
sand
I
'
llgosaymygoodbyes.
”
Iguessthismakesusandthem even.Mazwakhe
kil
ledt
heirfat
herandnowtheyhavekill
edours.I
knowdeepdownNgcwet hiishappy,heisjustsor
ry
formewhonowdoesn' thavebothparents.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
ing?
”
Hesoundsr
eal
lyconcer
ned.
“
Idon'
tknow,
”Isay.
Hegoesoutandcomesbackwear i
ngabl ack
beani
e.Youknowbeaniesmakeblackguyslook
l
ikehood-
thugs.Il
ovei
tonhi
m, i
tgiveshi
m another
l
ook.
“
Whati
sit
?”heasks.
Igi
vemysel
fahugei
nter
nalsl
ap.Whydi
dIst
are?
“
Nothi
ng….Areyousupposedt
obeher
e?”Ichange
t
hesubject
.
“No,butsomet
hingscanwait
.”Heshr
ugshi
s
shoulder
sandsi
tsonthechai
r.
“Idon'
tneedashoul
dert
ocr
yon,
youcanl
eave,
”I
say.
“
Whatdoyouneed?
”heasks.
Thatcaughtmeoffguar
d.Hei
sst
ari
ngatme,
pat
ientl
ywait
ingf
orananswer
.
“
Mybr
other
'sl
if
e,”Isay.
Helooksdown.That
'snotwhatheexpect
ed.I
t'
snot
somethi
nghecanpromiseme.
“
Icannotgi
veyout
hatZano,
”hesays.
Iguesshecan'
tdoanyt
hingf
ormethen,
except
keepi
ngmehereunti
lGodknowswhen.
Ther
e'ssomelongsi
lence.Hei
snotl
ooki
ngatme
andthatgi
vesmeachancet ost
udyhi
m.
“You'
rel
ooki
ngatme,
”hesayswithoutl
if
ti
nguphi
s
headandIbi
temysel
finembar
rassment.
“
Howdi
dyouknow?
”Iask.
“
Youreyesar
epierci
ngmeandyouhaveaheavy
t
hingar
oundyou.”
Hel i
ft
shiseyesandfi
ndsmewithmyeyebrows
rai
sed.Fir
stofal
lmyeyeshaveneverpi
erce
anyone,aboutt
heheavythi
ngar
oundme, heis
crazy.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”hesays.
“
WellI
'
m gl
adyout
akeaccountf
oryourof
fensi
ve
wor
ds.”
“
I’
mt al
kingaboutyourparent
s,especi
all
yyour
mother
,I'
m sorr
y,”hesays.
Idon'tl
iketal
kingaboutmymot her,i
trevi
vesold
woundsf orme.Mazwakhewasn' tli
ket hi
s,mother
’s
passingchangedhim.Hewast here,makingscalls
andtryi
ngt ogethelp.Theambul ancewoul dn'
t
come, t
heroadwast oobad.Itwassunnyt hatday,
hekeptgivingherwat erandwipingherwi t
hawet
towelashertemperat urewastoohigh.
“Yourf
arm cost
edust heroad,andther oadcosted
usourmother.Youdon'thavetobesor ry,i
twon't
bri
ngherbackandasl ongthefarmi stherethe
Ngwaneswi l
lneverl
iveafairl
if
e,”Isay.
“
Thef
armi
sourmai
nsour
ceofi
ncome.
”
Ohwow!Hei
sst
il
laMt
hembu,
greedyashel
l.
“
Andoursour
ceofpai
n,”Isay.
West ar
eateachother
.Therei
ssomepi tyi
nhis
eyes.It
hinkhecanseethi
ngsfrom ourper
spect
ive,
heisnotascruelasImadehimt obe.
“
Howol
dar
eyou?
”-Hi
m.
Howdoest
hatr
elat
etot
heconver
sat
ionwear
e
havi
ng?
“
Aboutt
otur
n24year
s,andyou?
”
“
I'
m ol
der
,”hesays.
Agei
sanumber,ot
herthant
hatwear
eal
lol
der
t
hansomeoneoutt
here.
“
Doyouevergi
vecl
earanswer
s?”Iask
“
Yes,
”hesaysundoubt
edl
y.
Gr
eat
!
“
Whyar
eyousavi
nganenemy?
”
Heowesmeacl
earanswert
othi
sone.
“
Anenemy?
”heasks.
“
Yes,
me.
”
Foramomenthedoesn'
tsayanyt
hing.Butt
hist
ime
heisn'
tanger
edbyt
hequest
ion.
“BecauseI'
veneverbeengui
dedwrongl
y.Il
ist
ent
o
myhear tandt
heguidanceofmyancest
ors,
”he
says.
“
Isi
t?”-
Me.
“Oneuniver
se,
9pl anet
s,204count
ri
es,809isl
ands
and7seas.”Hemustbet hinki
ngoutl
oud,butheis
l
ookingatmeandIdon' tknowwherethi
s
geographyi
sgoing.
“AndIhadapr i
vil
egetomeetyou,eveni
fitwas
underdi
stast
efulcir
cumst
ances,butyouhave
tur
nedmyl i
feupsidedown.
”
Myheartmel
ts.If
eelahotrushheati
ngmycheeks
andIf
indmyselfl
ooki
ngawayf r
om him.Nobody
want
stobecaughtblushi
ngoverstupi
dthi
ngs.
“Sodon'tevert
hinkI
'
m breaki
nganyrul
es.I
'
m
doingexactl
ywhatIshouldbedoi
ng,i
tmay
displ
easesomepeople,buti
tiswel
lwit
hme,”he
adds.
Iswearbackst
abbi
nghasneversoundedsohonest
andsweet.
“
Youar
egoodwi
thwor
ds,
”Isay.
“
Thankyou,
”-Hi
m.
“
It
'snotacompl
iment
,”Isay
Hef
rowns.
Idon'
trepeat
,hehear
dme.
Helaughsforthef
ir
stti
me.Hedoesn'thaveagood
l
augh,hisvoi
cedoesn'
tdohimjust
ice,butt
heway
hi
spupilsdil
atemakesi
tcut
e.
“Li
tt
lethi
ngsannoyyou.You'
resodr
amat
ic!
”he
says.
OhnowI '
m dramati
c?Ifhedi
dn'
tfr
owninst
eadof
answeri
ngsimplequesti
onsIwoul
dn'
tbeannoyed
by‘l
it
tl
ethi
ngs.’
Hi
sphoner
ings,
hedr
opsi
tandsi
ghs.
Ibethei
sneededbackhome.
“
IneedtoleavebeforeBusikhayat
racksmedown
t
hinki
ngthatI'
m dead,”hesays.
Tracki
ngdowndoesn'
tsitwel
lwi
thme.Canhe
tr
ackMazwakheaswell?Me?
“Ar
eyougoi
ngt
obealr
ightoryou'
l
lstar
veyoursel
f
andsear
chf
ori
magi
narycameras?”heasks.
I
'
m notgoi
ngt
obeal
ri
ght
.I'
vehadt
hest
rangest
amazi
nghoursofmyli
fei
nhiscompany.I
tfel
tso
nor
mal.NowIhavetogobackt
othatf
eeli
ngof
bei
nginhi
dingagai
n.
“Iwi
llseeyoui
nafewdays.”Hegat
her
shi
msel
fup
andwal kst
owar
dsthedoor
.
Af
ewdaysi
stoof
arf
orme.I
'
llbeal
lal
oneher
e.
“Keepthephoneon,
”hesaysbef
oreopeni
ngt he
door.Inodmyhead,henodshi
sanddisappears.
Whyismyhear
tsosor
e?Il
ockt
hedooraf
terhi
m
andl
ookar
oundwit
hmyarmsfol
ded.
Ther
eisnosignofhim.Onl
yhi
scol
ognei
slef
t,and
hi
sscrat
chyvoicei
nmyhead.
[
11/
19,
09:
41] :Chapt
er4
ZANAMUHLA

“Okaychi l
lZanamuhla,t
hismandoesn'toweyou
anything.Sowhatifhehasn'tcal
ledyoufort
he
past5days?I t'
shisair
ti
meandyou' r
ehereli
ving
offhisresources.
”-Mysubconsci
ouskeeps
r
emi
ndi
ngme.
Damn, Icheckmyphoneagai n,well
it'
sactuallyhis
phone.Ther earenomi ssedcalls,myheartsi nks.
I'
vebeenchecki ngeverymi nutehopingit'
l
lring.It
's
been5days, Igetnoupdateaboutt hefuneralas
agreed,andIgetno- hell
oZanamuhl aareyoust il
l
okay.I'
mj ustallal
one,desertedinanunknown
neighborhood.
Itr
yt ogothroughmynotesbutwor
dsj ustblank
out.Ihaven'
tfal
leni
nlovewit
hTVyet,sot herei
s
noescapef orme,Ikeept
ossi
ngandfeelingsorry
formyself.
Thescreenfl
ashesundert
hetut
ori
albook.Myeyes
havedecei
vedmesomanyt i
mes,t
heycouldbe
pl
ayinganot
hertri
ck.
Ohyes,
it’
sreal
lyr
ingi
ng.
Myheartdoesalit
tl
edancebutmymi ndqui
ckl
y
pul
lsi
tint
oorder.Soheisfi
nal
lycal
li
ngand
Zanamuhlashoul
djumpup.
Il
eti
tri
ngf
orami
nut
ebef
oreIpi
ckup.
“
Zanoi
t'
sme,
pleaseopen,
”hesays.
Idr
opt
hecal
landgot
othedoorandopen.
It
'sabi tcol
dtodaybutthisdouble-
breast
edcoathe
i
swear i
ngisanexaggeration.Hecomesin
brushinghishandstogetherandblowingoutl
ikehe
i
sst eppingoutofBarr
ow.
“I
t'
sreal
lycol
doutside,
”hebr
eaksthehel
pfulnews
tome.I'
m soshocked,Idi
dn'
tknowthat
,Ihaven'
t
beenoutsi
deinaweekr emember.
Icl
osethedoorandlockitashehurri
estothestove.
Heturnsitonandwarmshi shandsontheheat.I
neverpi
cturedhi
m bei
ngscaredofanythi
ng,
especi
all
ynotcoldweather
.
Hefi
nall
ystopsandswitchest
hest
oveoff
.I'
m
l
eani
ngont hewallbyt
hepassagel
ooki
ngathim.
YesI
'm angry.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasks.
“
Yes,whywoul
dn’tIbe?
”Thisi
stheti
meMazwakhe
woul
dcallt
heatt
it
udeoutofme.Icanbeabi
t
r
ougharoundt
heedges.
“
DidIcat
chyouatt
hewr
ongt
ime?
”heasks.
Ireall
ydon'tknowwhatt osay.Hedoesn'tt
hink
there'
sanythingwrongbyleavingapersonina
strangehousef or5dayswithoutcal
li
ngher.
“Whenismyf at
her’
sfuneral
?”Ichangethesubject
.
Ifhedoesn'
tthi
nkanythi
ngiswrongt henit
'sal
l
good.I
'm gr
atef
ulforwhathehasdone, andIguess
heowesmenot hing.
“Tomor
row.That
’swhyI'
m her
e,youhavet
ogo
hometoni
ght,
”hesays.
“
Letmepackt
hen,
”Isay.
“
Pack?
”
Myeyesnar
row.Whydoesi
tsoundl
ikehei
s
di
sappr
ovi
ng.
“
I'
m goi
nghome,
aren'
tI?
”Iask.
“Butyou'
recomingback.”Hehasthi
sFINALl
ook
onhisface.Ineversai
dI'
m notcomi
ngback,
nevert
helessIneedtopackafewthi
ngs.
Igettothebedr
oom andpackafewcl
othesandmy
toi
let
ri
es.Ifi
ndhimi
nt hel
ivi
ngr
oom watchi
nga
spor
tchannel
.
“
I'
mready,
”Isay.
Heseemsshockedbyt
hehur
ry.
“
Wecanst
ayf
orawhi
le,
”hesuggest
s.
“OkayI'
llbei
nthebedroom,tel
lmewheni t
'sti
met o
go.”Il
eavemybagont hecouchandgot othe
bedroom.Justli
kehefeltmyeyespi
erci
nghimt he
otherday,If
eelhi
sbehindme,andIcan'
tdisappear
fastenough.
Isitonbedandtakeahugebr eath.WhydoIhave
somanyexpectati
ons?Hemust '
vebeencaught
withmoreimport
antstuf
f.Maybehehasagi rl
fri
end,
I'
m sureaguyli
kehim al
readycapt ur
edsomeone'
s
heart.
“Thatpil
lowdidn'
tdoanythi
ng,”–Thescr
atchy
voicecomesf r
om thedoorcausi
ngmyheartto
beatfastforafewseconds.
Hestandsafewinchesawayfr
om me.Hiseyesar
e
onmel i
kehecanreadever
ythoughtr
unning
thr
oughmyhead.
Thepi
ll
ow!Fuck,
I'
vebeensqueezi
ngthepoor
pi
ll
owli
keitowesmeaR5wi thMandela’
shead.
“Youhaveaprobl
em wit
hme, ”hesaysandt
akes
outhi
shandformet ohol
d.“Standup,f
acemeand
tel
lmewhattheprobl
em is.
”
Ihol
dont
ohishand,Ihavenootherchoi
ce.He
hel
psmeupandcreatesspacebetweenus.Hi
s
gazei
sfi
shi
ngthetr
uthoutofme.
“Whydidn'
tyoucheckonme?FivedaysNgcwethi.
Nocall
,nonothi
ng.I'
mlockedher
ewithnoideaof
what'
sgoingonintheworl
d,i
nmywor l
d,”Isay.
“Iwould'
vetol
dyoui
fanyt
hingwashappeni
ng.
Don'tyoutr
ustmenow?”
Hereall
ydoesn'
tgetit
.Iwantedacall
,tohear
somethi
ngfamil
iarandjustsomeonecari
ngabout
howIam.
“Whyareyoucryi
ng?”Hestepscl
oserand
i
mmedi at
elyremovesmyhandsoffmyf ace.“
Why
areyoucryi
ngZanamuhla?
”Heasksagai n.
Cr
yingonhi
schestwasn'
tmyi
ntent
ion.Idi
dn'
t
evenwanttoaskhi
m aboutthi
s.Ij
ustwanttogo
homeandseemybr ot
her,evenifi
t'
sforafew
hours.Imi
sshavi
ngsomeonewhocar esaboutme.
Weenduponbedwi t
hhimleaningonthe
headboardandmel yi
ngonhislapsoakedintear
s.I
thinkI'
vebeenst
rongforqui
tesomet i
me,andnow
allthepai
nandsadnessjustoverwhel
medme.
Event
uall
ymyemot ionsgobacki ntopl
ace.Igetoff
hi
slapandgot othebathroom t
obr eat
he.Whatjust
happenedwasawkwar d.Idon'
tthinkI'
m goi
ngto
beabletofacehi
m.
Istepoutofthebat
hroom,si
lent
lypr
ayingthatI
'l
l
fi
ndhim gone.Boom!Heisstandi
ngrightbehi
nd
thebathr
oom door.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasksi
navoi
cef
ullofconcer
n.
Inodmyhead.
Hi
stwofi
ngersli
ftmychi
nup,
for
cingmet
omeet
hi
sbl
oodshoteyes.
“
Areyouokay?”Heisst
ari
ngatme,
wai
ti
ngf
ort
he
mosthonestanswer
.
“Iwil
lbef
ine.”That
'st
hebestIcouldgivehi
m.I'
m
notokayandhedoesn'tneedmetol i
e.Icanonl
y
assurehi
mt hatint
imeI'
llbef
ine.
Hewr apshisar
msar oundme.Myheadl i
esonhis
chestandfeel
shisheartbeat
ingagai
nsthi
schest
.
It
'sahugthatmakeseverythi
ngfeel
sokay.Hi
s
headisovermyshoulderandIcanfeelhi
m
breat
hing.
Hehol dsmeunti
lallmysorrowsfadeaway.WhenI
untanglemysel
fhelooksinmyeyest oconf
ir
mif
therearenomoretearsl
eftandthenhelet
sgo.

Thejourneybackhomeisfil
ledheavysi
lence,
I
evenwishforMndeni'
sRihanna.Anythi
ngtomake
thisj
ourneyabitl
ight
.Andtodayheisreall
ydri
ving
slowl
y,i
ttakesusalmost3hourstogettoMpof ana.
“Dropmeher e,Iwil
lbefine,
”Ibreat
hemyf ir
st
wor dswhenIr eali
zethatheisnotstoppingt hecar
event houghwehavedr ovepasttheforest.My
homei snotveryfarfr
om here.Idon'tknowwher e
mybr ot her
smightbe, t
hisisthei
rarea.It
'sonly
11pm,
anor
malt
imef
ort
hem t
obeont
hest
reet
s.
Hestart
sbyt urni
ngt
hecarandthenstops.Wor
ryi
s
pai
ntedalloverhi
seyeswhenhelooksatme.
“
Thingsar enotgoingt
obesmoothforquit
esome
t
ime,Ithinkit
'l
lbebett
eri
fyoubur
yhim andret
urn
t
oMi ssionafteraday.
”
“
You'
regoi
ngt
oat
tack?
”Iask.
Heisuncomfor
tabl
e.Ishoul
dn'
taskt
hese
quest
ions.
“
Okay,you'
l
lcal
lmeandt
ellmewher
eyou'
regoi
ng
t
opickmeup,”Isay.
Heopenshisdoorandcl
imbsoutofthecar
.He
al
waysopensthecardoorf
orme,maybehet hi
nksI
mightbr
eakit
.Thist
imehetakesafewminutes
befor
eheappearsonmysidetoopen.
“I
'l
lmakeacal l
,answerandstayontheli
neuntil
your eachhome.”Heputsmybagovermyshoul der
l
ikeI'm someri
chkidgoingtoschool.Hi
srequest
doesn'tmakesense,buthecall
sandIanswerthe
callandkeepthephoneinsi
demyj acket
.
Whenawhi tetentwelcomesmet hereali
tyst
art
sto
si
nkin.Peoplearedying,f
rom bot
hsides,andmore
ar
estil
lgoingtodie.Tomorrowitmightbe
MazwakheorNgcwet hi
.Thenwhatwi l
lbecomeof
myli
fe?
Thereisasadmel odycomingfrom thetent
,Iti
ptoe
arounditandsneakinsi
detherondavel.Ihaveno
i
deahowI '
m goi
ngtomakemyf ir
stappearancenor
howIwi l
lexplai
nmywher eabouts.
Thel
ightt
urnson.
Il
ookatt
hedooral
armed.
“Wher
eareyoucomingf rom? ”Mybrotherwalksi
n
andcl
osesthedoorbehindhi m.Bythetoneofhis
voi
ceandthelookonhisf ace,hei
snotpleased.
Coul
dn'
tIbegi
venamomentt
ofi
gur
ethatout
?
“
Iaskedaquest
ionHl
ahl
a,”hesays.
“
Iwassomewheresaf
e.”I
'veneverbeencr
eat
ivein
myl
if
e,t
hisi
sthebestanswerIcancomeupwi th.
“Pl
aceshavenames,
youranawayf
rom Mal
ume
andIwanttoknowwher
eyouwentandwhy,
”he
says.
Ineedtothi
nkcaref
ull
ybeforeIopenmymout h
again.I
nanythi
ngIsayIcannotbri
ngNgcwethiup.
He'l
lbecomehisnewtargetandIwantnot
hingbad
tohappentohim.
“Therewasawhitecarthatwasfoll
owingme.It
foll
owedmeuntilIgott
oMal ume’shouseandthat
scaredme.SoIcalledmystudymat eandaskedto
crashinwi
thherforawhile.
”
Hecursesandsitsonbedwit
hhisfi
stfol
ded.I
t
hinkI'
m smart
,thatwasthemostsol
idli
eI'
veever
t
oldinmyentir
elife.
“Areyousur
ethatyou'
resaf
eatyourf
ri
end'
s?”he
asks.
“Yes,I'
m verysaf
e.”Inodmyheadwhi l
esilent
ly
prayi
ngt hathedoesn'tt
hinkaboutcomingt ocheck
theplaceoraskstophonet heso-cal
ledfr
iendto
thankher.
“
Theyhaveki
ll
edf
ather
,”het
ell
sme.
Icant
ellt
hati
nhi
sheadt
hey'
vewr
ongedhi
m bi
g
t
ime.Heki
ll
edt
hei
rs,
it'
snotr
ocketsci
ence.
“
Sowhatnow?
”Iask.
Heexhal
esl
oudl
y.
“
NowI'
m notj
ustatwarwit
htheMthembus,
Ihave
t
owat
choutfortheNgwanesaswell
.”
Idon'
tunder
standwhyhehast
owat
chourf
ami
l
y.
“Don'teatanythi
ngtheygi
veyou.Ever
ythi
ngthat
belongedtof at
hernowbelongst
ome, andthat
makesusenemi es.Becar
efular
oundMamkhul u
andot herwives.
”
Gosh,heisright.Wearei
ndeepshi
t.The
i
nheri
tanceissueisonlysol
vedbyawil
l,
butwear
e
afamil
ylivi
ngt he1960li
fei
n2020.
“Whati fI'
m hungr y?Whatam Igoingtoeat?”Iask.
Wheni tcomest ohim Ialwaysbri
ngproblems
i
nst eadofsol ut
ions.Iexpecthi
mt oknow
everything.Aren'twhatbigbrot
hersarefor?To
solveever yt
hing.
Hegi
vesmeakeyoft hesmal
lcupboardinhi
s
r
ondavel
.Hest
oredsomefoodinsi
deitandI’
l
lgo
ther
eifI'
m hungry.Tr
ustmeIwi l
lgother
eaft
erhe
l
eaves.I'
m nothungry,j
ustcur
iousofwhathe
bought.
“
Takethis.
”Hehandsmeaf ewR200notes.
“
Contr
ibutetot
hegrocer
yandthankyourf
ri
endf
or
me,
”hesays.
Ohmywor d!I
'm goi
ngstr
aighttohel
l.Mybrot
her
wor kshar
dforhismoneyandnowIf eelli
keI'
m
scammi nghim.Therei
snof ri
end'
splace,
whatam I
goingtodowi t
hhismoney.
“Andthisforyourt hings.
”Hehandsmet hemont hl
y
R300.ItstartedasR50whenIwas14.Hecoul dn't
tel
lmet obuypadsbecausehei sMazwakhe
Ngwane, sohecal l
editmoneyf or‘
mythings.
’Ithas
i
ncreasedovert heyears,nowit'
sR300andI
assumei tincludesbodyl oti
onsandall
.Even
thoughpeopl eal wayssayhedoesn'thaveahear t,
tomehei sthebesti nthewor l
d.
Hedoesn'tst
ayforl
onghehast ogotothe
cemet
ery.Theyhavetostartdi
ggingt
hegraveand
hehastobet her
etotel
lpeoplehowtodoit.Now
hehasalotofdut
iesast
hedeci
sion-
makeroft
he
fami
ly.
Imightsl
eepher
eonhi
sbi
gbed.I
t'
ssodamn
comfort
able.
Whenhesaidf oodIthoughtofbreadandt hedr
y
st
uffonl
y.Buttherearegoodies;snacksandboxes
ofbi
scui
ts.Ishoveapi eceofchocolat
eslabinmy
mouthandsnoopar ound.
Therehavebeenfemal
esinher
e?Iknowverywel
l
thatmybrot
herdoesn'
twearg-
str
ingsandbr
as.
OhGr
aci
ousLor
d,condoms!
Icl
oset
heunhol
ydr
awerandopent
henextone.
Ili
kehisperfumes.They'renotl
ikeNgcwet
hi'
sbut
theysmellgoodaswel l.Ispr
ayfrom myneckdown
tomywai st.Idon'
tknowwhatIl ikemor
ebetween
thesmellandt hechhhhhsound.
“
Hlahl
aser
iousl
y?”Hi
svoi
cecomesf
rom t
hedoor
.
Ijumpup, t
heperfumebot
tlehit
sthefl
oorand
breaks.Ial
wayshavebadlucks,Idon'
tknowwhat
I'
m notdoingr
ightbymyancestors.
“Cl
eanthatmessandstayawayf
rom mythi
ngs.
”
Hetakessomethi
ngfr
om hiswar
drobeandl
eaves.
.
.
NGWANE'
SFUNERAL

Therearepoliceeverywhere.Idon'tknowwho
call
edthem, t
heymaket hi
sf unerall
ookslikea
cri
mezone.Mazwakhei sbreathingfi
re,poli
cehave
neverbeenusef uli
nthissideofMpof ana.They
alwayscomewhent hereisadeadper sonori f
they’
researchingforunli
censedf ir
earms.Callthem
whenyourhousehasbeenbr okenint
oandyouwi l
l
waitunti
lthesummerr ai
ncomesandwashdown
thefi
ngerpri
nts.
“Whyar etheyher e?”Khethil
ewhisper stome.Just
i
ncaseyou' rewonderingwhoshei s,Ihavefi
vehalf
-si
sters,sheisoneoft hem.Wear enotclose,here
youonl ymi ngl
ewi t
hchildrenfrom yourmother's
house.Ot herthanthatit
'sendlesscompet i
ti
onof
whoi sbet t
erthanwho.
“
Ihavenoi
dea,
”Isayshr
uggi
ngmyshoul
der
s.
Theystartanothersongandt henthepriestr
eads
theBibl
e.Theyf i
nallywraptheser
vice.Mamncane
i
st heonecryingmor ethanotherwives.Nowshe'll
sleepal
onel i
keot herwi
ves.Ibeti
t'sthethoughtof
abstai
ningbreakingherheartmoret hananythi
ng.
“Herei
ssomewat erNana,i
t'
l
lbehoti
nthe
cemetery,
”Mamkhulusayspassi
ngabott
leof
watertome.
Thisissoni ceofher .Evenherownki dsdon'thave
waterintheirhands.Funer alcover
scannotcater
forblackfunerals.Therear eonly25chairsand
almost100peopl e.Wat erisn'
tenoughforeveryone,
Ijustpraythatfoodwi llbeenough.Peopletalkhere,
theygossipaboutyouevenwhenyouar edead,
l
aughi ngabouttheshor tageoffoodatyourfuneral.
Ithankherwi
thaf
akesmi l
eandkeept hebottl
e
undermyarm.Mazwakhewar nedmeaboutt hem
andseemingl
yhewasright.They'
resuddenl
ytoo
ni
ce.
Fourguyswear
ingmust
ardsui
ts,
thatar
e
undoubtedl
yexpensive,
joi
nusi nt
hecemet ery.
Theyhavesunglassesonandwhi t
eface-
cloths
theykeepwipi
ngtheirexpensi
vesuit
swit
h.
“
Lel
iqhaweebesi
hambanal
o
Li
wel
ela,
li
wel
ela
Li
welela,
li
welela.
”-Het
akeshi
ssungl
assesof
f
andconti
nuesthesongwhil
ecl
appi
nghands.
MndeniMt
hembu!Yougott
obeki
ddi
ngme.
Thi
sisanotherl
evelofdisr
espect.YesMazwakhe
di
stur
bedtheirf
ather
'sfuneralaswell
,butt
his!
Mazwakhei sgoi
ngt oblowup.If i
ndhim wi t
hmy
eyes,heist
remblingwithanger.Ipusht hr
ough
peopleandstandbehindhim.Hi shandcar esses
hiswaist
,hewant shisgun.Iknowt hathewoul dn'
t
careaboutthepresenceofthepoliceandt heyare
heretokeepaneyeoni ncident
sl i
kethis.
Iputmyhandonhisarm,heturnshi
sheadand
fi
ndsmebegginghi
m withmyeyes.Hetakesa
deepbr
eathandpul
lshisshi
rtovert
hegun.
Seei
ngt
hathei
scal
m Ir
etur
nbackt
omyspot
.
Mndenihascutthesong,heisnowreadi
ngthr
ough
hi
sBibl
east hepri
estannouncest
heversehe'
s
aboutt
oread.
MyeyesmeetNgcwet hi
.Forasecondhi seyesrun
awayf rom me,butIstar
eunt i
lhehasnowher eelse
tolook.Hedoesn'tlookexci
tedasothers.Buthei s
sti
llhere,
dressedforredcarpet,
anditangersme.
Ift
her
ewerenopoli
cearoundthi
sburi
alwoul
dn'
t
havecar
ri
edon.NowI'
m grat
efult
hatt
hey'
reher
e.
Thecof f
ingoesdown, umhl abat hiemhl abathi
ni.
Mndenit akesapacketofpeanut sfrom hi spocket
andt ear
si topen.HepourssomeonMnot ho’shand,
Busikhayar eachesoutandt akessomeaswel l
.
Whenheget stoNgcwethihej uststaresathi m and
doesn'ttaket hem.Wel
l,t
heyenj oyt heirpeanuts
whil
ewesaygoodbyet oourf ather.
Everyonei
stal
kingaboutt
heMthembusdi
srespect
i
nt heri
veraswewashawayisi
nyama.
Thephoneri
ngs,
myheartski
psabeat
,Ist
epaway
fr
om t
hecrowdtoanswer
.
“
Zano,
”-Hi
svoi
cei
skeptver
ylow.
Iassumehi
sbr
other
sar
enear
by.
“
Yes.
”
“
Beovert
hebr
idgei
nanhour
.”
Anhour?Di
dn'
thesaysI
'
lll
eaveadayaf
tert
he
funer
al.
“
What
'st
her
ush?
”Iask.
“
Idon'
tthi
nki
t’
llbesaf
efort
ool
ong.
”
Ohgr
eat
!Iwi
llbur
ymyf
atherl
ikeast
rangernow.
“Yeahandt
hat
'
sbecauseyoupr
ovokedmybr
other
,”
Isnap.
Hedoesn'tsayanythi
ng.It
akeadeepsi
ghand
dropt
hecal lbef
oremynosyrel
ati
vesst
artaski
ng
quest
ions.
Fi
rstthi
ngIdowhenwegethomei stol
ookformy
brot
her.Ineedtotel
lhi
mthatI
'
mleavi
ng,buthei
s
nowhereinsight
.
“
Mamkhul
uhaveyouseenMazwakhe?
”Iask.
“HeputZwel
ibanzii
nchar
geandr
ushed
somewhere.
”
Whyisthisnotsit
ti
ngwellwi
thme?Mazwakhehas
noreasontorushanywheresoonaftert
hef
uner
al,
unl
essifheisplanni
ngsomething.
Igeti
nhishouseandf eastonthebi
scui
tsand
l
eavehim ahandwr i
tt
ennote.It
akemybagand
l
eavewithoutanyonenoti
cing.
By4:
30pm I
'm wait
ingbythebr i
dge.Therei
sno
si
gnofNgcwethiandit
'sstar
tingtoworryme.What
i
fhedoesn'
tcome?Wher ewillIgo?
Thesunset
s,sti
llNgcwethiisn'
there.It
hinkabout
goi
ngbackhome, buti
t'
snotsaf ethereandItol
d
MazwakheI
'm goingtoafriend'
splace.
Ther
eisacarappr
oachingslowly.Myi nsti
nct
stell
metoremai
nbehindthetreesuntilIseeitcl
earl
y.
Somethi
ngjusthadtodropfrom t
hetreeandmake
mescream.WellI'
m scaredofsnakesandthat
whatcametomymi nd.
Thecarstopsandt hedri
verr
ushestowher eIam.
Heissl
im, l
ighti
nskinanddressedli
kethose
modelCguysyouseei nthemall
s.Ti
ghtjeanthat
st
aysbelowbut t
,expensi
veuglytopandfadecut.
“
Sisiar
eyouokay?Whatar
eyoudoinghereatthi
s
t
ime?”hebombsmewi t
hquest
ions.I
'
m sti
llt
ryi
ng
t
ofigur
eouthowsomeoneli
kehimisinthi
splace.
“
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
orsomeone,
”Isay.
Thef
earthatwasinhiseyeswear
soff.Helooksat
hi
swrist
-watch,
toconfi
rm howl
atei
tisIguess.
“Areyounotscar
edt hatt
hegun-fi
ghtmight
escal
atetothi
sside?Thisisnotasafearea,
Ihave
noideahowmyauntl i
veshere.
”Heroll
shiseyes.
“
Ther
eisagunf
ight
?”Iask.
“Yes,bythatriver…whatisi
tcall
ed?”Whil
ehe's
tryi
ngtorecalltheriverI
'
mt hi
nkingaboutmy
brotherandNgcwet hi
.Theyarether
e,Godknowsi
f
theyaresti
llalive.
“
Justgobackhome,
”hesays.
“
Ihavenowher
etogo.
”Wordsescapemymout
has
t
earsr
undownmycheeks.
“
Youar
east
reet
…st
reet
-adul
t?”
Youknowwhat
,fuckhi
m!
“
Nevermind,
”Isayandst
artwal
king.I
’m headi
ngt
o
myuncle'
shouse,
Iknowhewon'tslam t
hedooron
myface.
“
Letmegi
veyoual
i
ft,
”heyel
lsaf
terme.
Thecarr
unsaft
erme.Herol
lsdownt
hewi
ndow
andbegsmetogeti
nthecar
.
“
Idon'
ttakel
if
tsf
rom st
ranger
s,”Isay.
“I
'
m JulaniKhumal
o.Cal
lmeJul
aorJJ,
not
st
ranger.
”
Hedefini
telydoesn'
tknowwhatst r
angermeans.
Tel
li
ngmehi snamedoesn' tmakehimlessofa
st
ranger.Idon'
tknowhi m andthat
'si
t.
“
DoyouknowMandi
saKhumal
o?”heasks.
Istopandlookathi
m.IdoknowMandisa,
thenext
gossi
pqueenofMpof anaont
hel
ine.
“
I'
m hercousi
n,Iwon'
tdoanyt
hingt
oyou,
”hesays.
Wellthat
'sareli
ef.Iputmyguardsdownandgetin
thecar.Heroll
shiseyesbefor
edrivi
ng.Thi
sisabit
str
angef oraguy.
Idi
recthimtomyuncle'
shouse,
indeedhedrops
meof fanddoesn'
tbot
hermewithanythi
ng.
I'
m notl
ooki
ngf
orwar
dthei
nter
rogat
ionf
rom my
aunt.
MymindiswithMazwakheandNgcwet
hi.Ipr
ay
t
hatnobodygetshur
t.
[
11/
19,
09:
41] :Chapt
er5

Fourbrot
her srestinsi
det hei
rlatefat
her'
soffi
ce.
They'
reti
red, comingfrom awast edgun-fi
ghtthat
l
astedforalmostt wohour s.Theyundermined
Mazwakhe, wi t
halltheresourcestheyhavethey
assumedt hatgetti
nghi m wouldbeeasy.Yetthey
haven'
tfi
guredoutwher ehehi deshimself
,he
al
waysshowsupt oattackanddi sappear
s
unharmed.
Busikhayakeepsr
otat
ingonhisf
ather
'schair
,
angerisevi
dentonhisface,
hehasn'
tputthegun
away.
“
You'
regi
vingmeheadache,
”Mndenit
ell
shi
m.He
i
ssi t
tingont hef l
oor,leani ngont hebookcasewi t
h
hiskneesup.Mnot hoisst andingnextt ohi m.Hei s
onhi sphonecancel l
ingaf li
ghtt oSheffiel
d.Itwas
theirf at
her'swi l
lforhimt ogr aduateandl ivea
differentlif
e.Not hingcl oset ofarmingorr unning
shops.Hewant edhisyoungestsont obe
somet hi
ng, adoct ororengi neer,anyt
hingt oputthe
Mt hembunameont hemap.Andt hatwast he
agreementbet weenMnot hoandhi m beforehe
passedon.Butnowt hingshavechanged, Mnot ho
realisesthatleavi ngthecount r
yisnotanopt ion
whenhi sbr othersareatwart okeept hef amily
l
egacyal ive.
“
Givemet
hephone,
”Busi
khayar
equest
s.
Mndenipasseshi
mt hephoneandhemakesacal
l.
Hewantswar ,
nott
hehideandseekgamethat
Mazwakhekeepsplayi
ng.
Whent
hephoneisanswer
edf r
om theot
hersi
dehe
get
sof
fthechai
rwit
hapleasedlookonhisf
ace.
“
Ngwaneyouwon'
tfi
nishwhatyoust
art
ed.
”
Hi
sbr
other
sreal
iset
hathe'
stal
kingt
oMazwakhe
andtheykeept heirear
sshar pened.Wel lexceptf
or
Ngcwethi,
hei sonlyinsidethatoffi
cephysi cal
ly.
HismindisonZanamuhl a.Hedidn'tgetthechance
togopickherupanddr ivehertoMi ssion.
Somethingisnotset t
li
ngwel lwit
hhi ssoul.He
keepshavingflashbacksofawhi t
ecar ,butseesno
fur
thert
hant hat.Hishear ti
satnor est.
“Ufunanjwenamsunuwenj a?”-Mazwakheont he
otherside.Hei swalki
ngt ohisuncle'
shouset o
checkifever yt
hingisokay.Hisunclel ef
tthevil
lage
withhiswi feaft
errecei
vingthreatsfrom the
Mt hembuswhent heycamel ookingforZanamuhl a.
Hehast akenituponhimselftocheckont hei
r
houseandgoat s,j
usttoputhisuncl eatease.
“
Okanyokoobhej
wauyi
hloezul
wini
,
”Busi
khaya
r
esponds.
Mndenibr
eaksint
olaught
er.Mnotho’smouthis
agape,
heisst
il
l23yearsoldforgoodness’
sake.
“Soyoucal
ledtomenstruat
ewithyourmouth?”
Mazwakheasks.Thement i
onofhisparent
shas
himtrembl
ingwit
hrage.Heistornbet
ween
pr
oceedi
ngtohi
suncl
e'
sandt
urni
ngbackt
othe
Mthembust
oendthem.
“I'
m givi
ngyouamessage, orshouldIsaya
war ni
ng?”Busikhayawalksaroundthetabl
eand
l
eansbyt hecornerofit
.“Whenthere'
snowher e
elsetorunI'm gonnagetyouboyandyou' l
lregret
thedayyourf athergotabonerforyourmother.
”
Thesecondmentionofhisparent
smakes
Mazwakheturnbackspeedil
y.Anywayi
t'
snott
hat
har
dtounleashhisrut
hlesssi
de.
“
Sendyourl
ocati
on.Noweapons.Justyouandme,
mantoman.”-
Mazwakhe.
Busikhayacr acksasmi le.Thi
siswhathewant ed.
Het ell
shimt hatthey'
llmeetbyther i
verandthen
takeshisjacketoffrevealinghi
sar msthatarehal
f-
buriedinink.Theirbeefgoeswayback, bef
orehis
fatherstar
tedaf arm.Itbeganasj ustaboys’
quar r
elbutithasturnedi ntoi
nfi
nit
egrudges.
“What'
sgoingon?”Ngcwethii
ssuddenl
ypayi
ng
att
enti
on.Healr
eadylooksuncomfor
tabl
eabout
whateveri
sabouttohappen.
“
Thiscowardwant
saphysicalf
ight
.”Busi
khayai
s
t
akingouthi
swri
st-
wat
ch,clear
lypl
easedbythe
wholeset
ti
ng.
“Wel
lIdon'tt
rusthi
m,”-
Mndeniopeni
ngthedr
awer
andtaki
ngouttheguns.“Ngcwet
higi
vehim
i
sihl
ungu,”hesays.
Ngcwethi
’
seyeswiden.IfhegivesBusikhaya
i
sihl
unguanyt
hingcanhappent oMazwakhe.They
knowhowdangerousthatpowderi s,
hencehe
doesn'
tgi
vesi
ttoanyoner andomly.
“
No.
”
Theyal
lfr
own.
“
No?
”-Busi
khaya.
Ngcwet
hisi
ghs.
“Ican'tgi
veittoyou.Youhavet ofightfairl
y,t
his
thi
ngcanhur thim orevenworsekillhi
m. ”He
real
iseshowr i
dicul
oushemi ghtsound, hehasno
businesscaringaboutwhathappenst oMazwakhe
orwhat soever.
Theyal
lwanthi
m dead,
aren'
tthey?
“
RememberwhathappenedwhenMnot hotook
i
sihl
ungu?
”heasksandtheyj
ustkeepquiet
.
“Thepoorboygotblind.Thisthi
ngisdanger
ous!”
Hesoundsevenmor eri
diculousandhereal
isesit
.
Buthecannottel
lthem thathedoesn'
twant
anythi
ngtohappentoMazwakhebecausehi ssist
er
i
st hel
oveofhisli
fe.
“
Whocares?Theworl
dwoul
dbeabet
terpl
acewi
th
abl
indMazwakhe,
”Mnot
hosays.
Mndeninodshi
sheadi
nagr
eement
.
“Andhecanapplyfordisabi
l
itygr
ant.I
t'
llhel
phim
takecareofhi
ssi
ster,
maybeevent akehertothe
salon.
”
Somethingfl
ipsi
nNgcwethi
.Hetur
nst
oMndenind
grabshi
m byhiscol
lar
.Al
lhisf
acemuscl
est
ense,
heisseethi
ngwit
hanger.
“Donotbringherintot
his!
”Hi sl
ipsaretr
embl i
ngas
hesaysthis.Mndeniisconfusedandf i
ghti
ngto
breakfr
eef r
om t
hegr i
p.WhenNgcwet hi
'ssenses
crawlbackhereleaseshim andstepsback.
It
'st
ool ateforhimt ocounter
poisethesi tuat
ion,
Busikhayaisstaringathim wit
hal ookt heyall
understand.Shitissti
llgoi
ngtogetr ealbutnowhe
needsthem t ofocus.
“Mndenil
ethim be,
Idon'tneedast
upidpowdert
o
def
eatthati
diot
,”hesaysandwalksout.
Mnot hofollows, butMndeniremainsi nsi
dewith
Ngcwet hi.Theyst areateachother.Nobodyknows
Ngcwet hibet t
erthanMndeni .They'r
eonl yt
wo
yearsapar t
, peopleusedt ocal
lthem twinswhen
theywer egr owingup.Mndeniwasal waysfoll
owing
Ngcwet hibehi nd.Hewoul dcarryhim onhisback
ontheirwayt oschool.Thingsstart
edt ochange
whenNgcwet histart
edbeingwei r
d,hewasar ound
12andhewoul dseethingsthatnobodysaw.
Never t
helesst hebondt heysharedneverseemst o
fade.
“
Isi
ther
?”Mndeniasks.
Ngcwethidoesn'
tsayanyt
hing.Hisf
acei
sjustf
ull
ofremorseandpain.I
fonl
yt her
ewassomethi
nghe
coulddo!
“Youhel pedherescape, ri
ght?”Mndeniaskswhat
hehasneveri magi ned,notevenf oronce.His
brotherhasfalleninlovewithanenemy.I twas
thereinhiseyeswhenhegr abbedhim andhe
knowst hattheirl
ivesareaboutt ochange.
Ngcwet hicanonl yloveonewoman.Hehaspr ayed
thathe'dmeett hatspecialwomansoon, buthehad
noideat hathisbrotherwoul dfi
ndherint hemost
hopelessplace.
“
Idi
d.I
twast
her
ightt
hingt
odo,
”-Ngcwet
hi.
Mndenibr
usheshi
sfaceandbr
eat
hesoutl
oud.
“
FuckNgcwet
hi,
fuck!
”Hei
sengul
fedi
nfr
ust
rat
ion.
Whywoul dtheuniver
sechooseMazwakhe' ssister
forhisbrother
?Outofal lgi
rls.Ohyes,t
her
e's
nothingtheycandoabouti t.Butonlyhi
m and
Ngcwet hiknowthis.Thedayhef el
tincomplet
e
withoutherwast hedayshebecameapar tofhim.
“Li
fejustgotgreat
!”Mndenidr
agshi
mselft
othe
door.Theexcit
ementhehadaboutthef
ighti
sal
l
gone.
“
Ther
eissomet
hingel
se,
”–Ngcwet
hibehi
nd.
Mndenist
opsandl
ooksathi
m hopel
essl
y.
“
What
?”
“
Ikeephavi
ngflashbacksofawhi
tecarandIcan'
t
r
eachheronthephone.”
“
Ohhellno!Thi
sonei
sbeyondme.
”Mndenisi
ghs
i
ndef
eat.
WhentheywalkoutBusikhayaandMnot hoareno
wher
einsight
.Theyfol
lowt heroadt
hatleadsdown
t
otheri
verwherethefi
ghtisgoingtotakeplace.

WellMazwakhebr oughthi
sbr ot
hersaswel
l.When
hecr ossest
heri
vertomeethi sri
valt
heyf
ollow
behindandstandsaf ewfeetaway.
Mndenikeepsthr
owingshadesfr
om t
heothersi
de,
heisst
andingbehindBusi
khaya,
aswell
asthe
ot
herbrother
s.
“Iseeyoufi
nal
lygrewapai
rofbal
ls,
”Busi
khaya
direct
stoMazwakhe.
Hej
ustchuckl
esandwalkscl
oser.Forami nut
e
t
heyj
ustexchangehat
redwit
htheireyes.
Busi
khayai
sabi
ttal
lerbutt
hey'
rebot
hoft
hesame
age.
Busikhayaknocksthef i
rstpunch.I
tlandson
Mazwakhe'sleftchin.Hesquintshiseyesandhi
s
cheststar
tsmovi ngvisi
blyundertheT-shi
rt
.
Anot
herpunch!
Helooksatthesideandcol l
ect
shisbreat
h.Then
heturnswithanelbowandst ri
kesagai
nst
Busikhaya'
sneck.Thefistt
hatfol
lowssends
Busikhayatotheground.Thesideofhi
sneckgets
swollenwit
hinseconds.
Ngcwet
hii
sthefi
rstonet
ojumptothescene.The
Ngwanesr
ushtoensuret
hathedoesn'
tint
erf
ere.
“I
twassupposedtobeaf ai
rfi
ght,
”Ngcwethisays
gl
ari
ngatMazwakhe.Apar tofhi
mi sgui
lt
y,ifhe
gavehisbr
otheri
sihl
ungunoneofthiswould'
ve
happened.
“Whatdoyouknowaboutfair
ness?”Mazwakhe
grabshi
m bycl
othesandpull
shimt ohisf
ace.“
Or
youwanttost
andinforyourbrot
her?”
Ngcwet
hisi
ghs.
“
Letmego,
”hesayscal
mly.
Lethim go?Af tereveryt
hingthey'
vedonet ohi s
family!Theyalldeservebullet
sbetweent heireyes,
buttodayhej ustwant stoshowt hem thatthey
don'tscarehi
mi nanyf or
m.Heai msf orNgcwet hi'
s
j
aw, butNgcwet hibl
ockshim andlockshisf isti
n
hishand.
“Thebeastinmei ssl
eepi
ng,notdead.AndIdon'
t
l
ikepeople'
shandsonmyf acesowat chIt.
”Heis
sti
llcal
m butthelookonhisfacehaschanged.He
brusheshisleftshoul
derandturnstohisbrot
her
.
Mazwakhedoesn' twastetime,hestr
ikesagai
n.
Thisti
meNgcwet hicannotcont
rolasuddenrushof
bloodthatgoesintohishead.Hepunches
Mazwakher epeatedlyunti
lhi
sbloodcovershis
knuckl
es.
“
GIVEMEMYGUN! ”Mazwakher
unstohi
sbr
other
s
wit
hbl
ooddr
oppi
ngfrom hi
smouth.
Mndenit
akesouthi
sweaponsaswel
l
.
Anot
hergunf
ight
?
Busi
khayai
sinnocondi
ti
ontofi
ght
,buthedr
ags
hi
mselfupandgr
abshisgunfr
om Mndeni
.
“Wecanfi
nishthi
ssomeot herday.Bothofyou
agr
eedtoaf i
stfi
ght, nowstopbeingpoes.”
Ngcwet
histandsint hemiddleofbothgroups.
Mazwakheunbelievablyli
stensandstepsback.
“Theymustgohomebeforefuner
alsal
adsdryup,
”
Mndeniadds.Thi
sinf
uri
atesMazwakhebutheis
heldbackbyoneofhi
sbrother
s.
Theypar
tways.
Ngcwet hit
akesoutincwebaar
oundhisneckand
squeezesomebl ackpowderoutofi
tandgives
Busikhayatoswall
ow.
“Nowyoucar e?”Busi
khayaasksbutswallowsit
anyway.Theyhaveunfini
shedbusinessbutitcan
wait.HeneedstoteachMazwakheal essonhe'l
l
neverfor
geteveninhisgrave.
“Idi
dn'
tthi
nkhe'
dcomeli
kethat
,”Ngcwethisays
swall
owedingui
lt
.He'
sgui
lt
yofnotgivi
nghi s
brot
herisi
hlunguandcost i
nghim af i
ght.Andhe's
guil
tyofwhathappenedatt heriver
.Yeshedi dtel
l
Zanamuhlat hathe'
llonl
ydefendhimselfagainst
herbrot
her,butthewayshel oveshisbrother
,she'
d
behurttofi
ndoutt hatNgcwethibeathim up.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

It
'sgoingt osoundi
rresponsibl
e,butIendedupin
Jula'
spl ace.Iwaswelcomedbyl ockeddoorsatmy
uncle'shouseandIhadnowher eelsetogo.I
couldn'tgobacktoMpof anainthemi ddl
eof
gunfight.Julawasst
illsmokinginsi
dehiscarand
sawmest r
andedandof f
eredtohelp.
Todayhe'
llbehel
pingmelookforashackt
orent
.
TheR900mybr ot
hergavemewon’ tl
astmebuti
t
canprovi
demewi t
hshelt
erforafewdays.
“
Zanamuhl
a,”
It
urnmyheadt
owher
ethevoi
cecamef
rom.An
oldmandr essedupi
nshinytuxedowalkstowards
me.Yeshecal ledmebynameandI '
m sti
llt
ryi
ngto
recal
lifwe'
veevermetbefor
e.
“You'
reindeedbeaut
if
ul.
”That'
shim agai
n,act
ing
casualasifwearenewbuddies.
“
Nott
ober
ude,
butwhoar
eyou?
”Iask.
Hesmi
lesandt
akeshishatoff
.Hehasgreyhai
r.
HemustbeJul
a'
sgrandfat
herorsomet
hing.
“
Cal
lmeDaddy,
”hesays.
Ij
ustneedtobr eatheinandout,
coll
ectmysel
fand
notdi
srespectJula’swalki
ngancest
or.
Ohher
ehecomes.
“
Daddy,
”-Jul
a.
Ohsi
ll
yme,
it'
shi
sfat
her
.
‘
Thefat
her’
spanksJula'
sbuttanddoessomethi
ng
tohi
sfr
ontwit
htheotherhand.Iswearmyeyesare
goi
ngtopopout.
“
Youbr
oughtasi
ster
-wi
fe?
”-t
heman.
Jul
alooksatmeandsi
ghs.
“
Weneedsomecash,
shehasnowher
etogo.
”
YesIhavenowher
etogo,
but‘
WE’
needsome
cash?
??
“Whycan'tyoubothcrashinheretogether?”He
star
esinJula'
seyesandt hensmi l
es.“
Jeal ousy
doesnotsuityouandIalwaystellyouthis.Youare
myf i
rst
,aren'
tyou?”
Thatseemst
orel
ieveJul
a.
“
Okayf
ineee,
butIst
il
lneedsomecash.
”-Hi
m.
Themant akesouthiswal
letandgiveshi
m abank
card.Theyshar eabri
efki
ss….aninti
mateone.Me
beingaslowl earnerI
'
m st
il
ltryi
ngtoputpieces
together
.
“Come,”Jul
agrabsmyhandandl
eadsmet
othe
kit
chen.Idon'
tknowwher
etheol
dmandi
sappear
s
to.
“
Whoi
sthat
?”Iask.
Hechecksbehi
ndusandt
henl
eansoverme.
“Someonewhocant
akecareofyou.Youseet
he
carIwasdr
ivi
ng?Mycl
othes?Thi
shouse?”He
poi
ntsar
oundwit
hapr
oudl
ookonhi
sface.“
It
'sal
l
hi
m,”hesays.
OhDearLor
d!Themani
sabl
esserandJul
aisGAY.
“Whatdi
dhemeanbysayi
ngI
'
m yoursi
ster
wif
e?”I
ask.
“
Hemeantt
hathecant
akecar
eofyouaswel
l
.”
Irai
semyeyebr ows.Heneedstoexpl
ainhi
msel
f.
I'
veneveraskedanyonetotakecar
eofme.
“Youdon'
tneedtorentashack,
wecanbot
hli
ve
hereandj
ustpleaseDaddy.
”
“
Ijustbur
iedmyf
atherJul
a!”
I
sthisajoke?I'
veneverevencal
ledmyownf
ather
Daddytobeginwit
h.
Hesi
ghs.
“Thi
sisnotavil
lageZanamuhla,youar
einthecit
y
andyou'
resafehere.Li
fedoesn'
tneedtobehard,
wegivethi
smanwhathewant sandhegivesusthe
l
ifewedeserve.
”
I
'
vehear
daboutt
het
wist
edl
i
feoft
heci
tybutI
didn'
timagi
neanythingcl
osetothis.NowI'm
supposedtoshareanoldmanwi thaguyi nordert
o
survi
ve?NoI'm bet
terof
fdodgi
ngbul let
sin
Mpofana.
“
Canyout
akemet
other
ank?
”Iask.
Hi
seyeswi
den.
“
Forwhat
?”
“
Iwantt
oleave.
”
Hebur
stsi
ntol
aught
er.
“AndyouthinkDaddywil
ljustl
etyougo?Aybogir
l
youslepti
nhishouse,
atehisfoodandshowered
withhiswater
.Ther
eisnothingforf
reeher
e,no
gir
l!
”
Myheartst
artsbeat
ingli
keadr
um.WhathaveI
got
tenmyselfint
o?Ineedmyphone….
“
Didyouchar
gemyphone?
”Iask.
“
Noyou'
l
luseanewone,
”hesays.
“Am Iki
dnappedhere?Yousai
dyou'
l
lnotdoany
har
mt ome.Itrust
edyouJulani
!”
“
Youwi
llt
hankmeoneday.
”
Thankhi
m myf
oot
!
“Whatareyoudoing?
”Hefi
ght
smyhandsoffhi
s
neck.Iknockhi
m wit
hakneeandpi
nhi
m agai
nst
thecupboards.
“
Givememyphone,
”Isay.
“
Zanamuhl
ast
op.
”
Ipi
ckaknif
efrom thesi
nkandplaceitagai
nsthis
neck.I
'
veneverusedaknif
ebefore,
I'
mj ustscar
ing
hi
m.
“DADDY!”Heyel
lsandpushesmeof
f.Ir
unaft
er
him andcat
chhi
m befor
ehemakesi
ttothedoor
.
Buttheoldmanr ushesinandpull
smeaway.He
takesmet ooneoft hebedroomsandlocksme
i
nside.Iscream untilIcanscr
eam nomore.

Julacameinandgavemeadr ink.Mythroatwas
toodryIgulpeditdownatonego.Myeyel i
dsgr ew
heavyassoonasIf i
nishedi
t.Istar
tedseeing
doubleofeveryt
hingandIpassedout .Idon'tknow
whatheputinsi
dethedri
nk,
Ihaveamotherofall
headacheswhenIwakeup.MyeyesaretooheavyI
can'
tevenopenthem.ButIr
eal
iset
hatI'
mina
movingvehi
cle.
“Please,
”Imanaget ospitt
hewor dout
.Idon'
tknow
wher ethey'
retaki
ngmeorwhatIdi dtodeser
vethi
s,
butI'l
lbegifIneedto.They'
llbemyGodandI '
l
l
praytot hem.
“Jul
aI '
l
ldoanythi
ngyouwant,pleasest
ophi
m.”My
eyesaresti
llcl
osed.AhandholdsmeandIinhal
ea
famil
iarcol
ogne.
“You'
resafenow,”-t
hevoi
ceiswoundedbutit'
sstil
l
thesamescr at
chyonethatI
'vel
ongedtohear.I
'm
convi
ncedthatit'
sthespi
keddri
nkplayi
ngtr
ickson
meunt i
lIopenmyeyes.
I
t'
shi
m si
tt
ingwi
thmeatt
heback.
Mndenii
sdr
ivi
ngandf
ocusedont
her
oad.
“
Ngcwethi
?”Ar i
veroftearscovermyface.Ihadno
wayout
,Ireal
lythoughtitwasover.
“
Pleaser
est
,”hesays.
“
Ican'
t….
myheadi
spoundi
ng.
”
Mndenigl
ancesatusthr
oughther
ear-vi
ewmir
ror
.
He'
snothimsel
fother
wisehewoul
d'vesaid
somet
hingbynow.
“I
sther
eanydoct oryouknowar
oundher
e?”
Ngcwethidi
rect
st ohi
m.
“
Ididn'
tevenknowwehadahouseinMissi
on,
how
wil
lIknowfucki
n’doct
ors?
”–Mndeni
.

Ihearhi
m sighheavi
ly.Heplaceshishandovermy
head,t
ocheckmyt emperatureIguess,andexhal
es
whenhef eel
showhotIam.
Hetakesoneofhi
sweir
dbanglesoutandbringsit
cl
osetomynose.I'
m di
sgust
edbythesmel l
,Idon'
t
knowwhetheri
twasmadeoutofadeadr atorfi
sh.
Ishakemyheadandsignalforhi
mt ostopthecar.
Hedoesn'
tgeti
t.It
ryt
ohol dinbuti
tshootsright
outofmymouthandgoesont ohischest.
Thecarswer
vest
otheri
ghtandskidst
oahalt.I'
m
envel
opedi
nembarr
assmentlooki
ngatNgcwethi
’s
T-shi
rtt
hati
ssoakedi
nvomi t
.Idon'
tthi
nkhe
knowswhattodo.Mndenipassesatowelt
ohim.
“
Havesomef
reshai
r,
”het
ell
sme.
Iopent
hedoorandst andsbythecar.Mndeni
cli
mbsoutaswell.Hemi l
lsar
ound,sti
llt
ooqui
et
formyunder
standing.
Afterawhi l
eNgcwet hileansoutthedoorandtel
ls
met ogetinsidethecar.Hehast akenoffhi
sT-shi
rt.
I'
m astoundedbyt henumberofcol ourf
ulyar
ns
wor nacrosshischest.Hei snotnormal
,andthat
I'
vealwayssuspect ed,butIthoughthewasjusta
bitofanoddi t
y.
Hehascl
eanedt
heseat
sandt
hatmakesmef
eel
gui
lt
y.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
ing?
”heasks.
Embarrassed,gui
lt
y,anxi
ousand….
OhLor
dIhada
headache,ri
ght?Welli
t'
sgone.
“I
'm okay.
”Wel lI
'
m hungrybuthei
snotMazwakhe,
Icannotinconveniencehi
m wit
hmy100probl
ems.
Mndeniget
sinsi
det
hecarandt
urnsont
heai
rcons.
Allt
hefr
ontwindowsarear erol
leddown,t
owear y
thevomitsmel
lIguess.Ngcwethiisfr
eezi
ngnext
tome,youknowhim andcol ddon'tmi
x.Buthe'
s
notsayi
nganythi
ngtoMndeni ,maybehefeelsl
ike
hecontr
ibut
edtothemi shap.
Ipul
lmybagundertheseat
.Idon'
tknowhowthey
goti
teit
her
.Iopeni
tandtakeoutmycardi
ganand
gi
vesitt
ohim.
Hef
rowns.
I
tdoesn'
tannoymet
oday,
Itel
lhi
mtoputi
ton.
“I
twon'tfi
tme.”Hechuckl
esandl
if
titupand
checksthelabel
.
“
Iboughti
tfr
om JET,
ithasnoname.
”
Hef
rownsagai
n.
“
It
'snotabr
andofanysor
t,
”Icl
ari
fy.
“
Buti
thasasi
ze,
andt
hat
'swhatI
'
m checki
ng.
”
Oh,myfor
wardlef
tbrai
nthoughthewaslooki
ngfor
t
hebrandname.Ishoul
dlookforsomet
hingabit
l
arger
,maybemyT-shir
t.
“
Tryt
hisone,
”Isay.
Het r
iesiton.It
’ssmallbuthecansurvi
veaf ew
hoursinit.Iboughti
tlastyeardr
ivenbytheMzansi
pressure.It
'
soneofthosewhi teoneswri
tten:
SEBENZAGI RL.

BeingbackinMissi
onfeel
slikehome.Ihaven'
t
askedNgcwethihowtheyfoundme.I'
mj ust
gratef
ult
hatnothi
nghappened.
Ihearthecarleavi
ng,Ngcwet hiwal
ksi
nandcloses
thedoor.Howi shegoingbackt oMpofanai
f
Mndeniisleavingwit
ht hecar?Ihopehe'
snotin
troubl
e,Mndenididn'
tlookpleasedbymypresence.
“I
'm goi
ngtotakeaquickshower .
”Hedisappearsi
n
oneoftheroomsandwal ksoutaft
erawhile
carr
yingsomecl ot
hes.Iheartheshowerrunni
ng
andcontemplateonwhatt odo.
Makefood?Cr
yandquest
ionGod?Orj
ustsi
ther
e
andwaitf
ormytur
ntofr
eshenup.
Her
etur
nsf
rom t
heshowerandj
oinsmei
nthe
l
ivi
ngroom.Ihaveal
otofquest
ionsregar
dingmy
dil
emmaandwhohei s.ButIwi
llaskwhenthet
ime
i
sr i
ght
.
“
Ismybr
otherst
il
lal
ive?
”Iask.
Hecl
ear
shisthr
oat
.InmyheadIknowhi
m wel
land
t
hisi
sst
rangeofhi
m.
“
Yes.”Henodshishead,buthi
stonedoesn'
tgi
ve
metheassurancet
hatIneed.
“
Howdi
dyouf
indme?
”
“Itr
ackeddownt hewhitecar,
someoneknewwho
droveitandledustothat….
thatJapanese
macaque. ”
“
IwasinJapan?”Isoundver
ystupid.Ther
e'sno
wayIwasinJapan,Idi
dn'
tevenleavethecount
ry
t
obeginwi
th.
“No,
”hesaysandIknowt
hathe'
snotgoi
ngt
o
expl
ain.
Igotot
hebathroom andtakeashower.Iwonderi
f
he'
sgoi
ngtosleephere.Ihavenotwantedhimto
l
eavebutnowthatthere'
sapossibi
li
tyofhi
m not
l
eavi
ngmyi
nsi
desar
eget
ti
ngcol
d.
Ohhewentoutandboughtf
oodt
akeaways.
“Ihopeyoueat….
”Somethi
ngstr
ikeshi
smind
beforehef
ini
shesthesent
enceandhecur
ses.
“
Isever
ythi
ngokay?
”-Me.
“
Iboughtbeef
.”
Thi
sisnothappeni
ngwhenI
'
m sohungr
y!
“Don'
twor
ryIwil
lchangei
t.
”Hepi
cksi
tupand
headstot
hedoor.
Thi
ssoundssof
ami
li
ar.
“YoualsoassumedthatIdon'
teatbeef
?”Iask
befor
eheexitsthedoor
.
“Iknowalotoft
hingsZanamuhlaandyou'
reapart
ofmyl i
fenow,
”hesaysandclosesthedoorbehi
nd.
I
’m apartofhisli
fe?FineIgethowhecameupwi th
t
hat,butthepartofassumingunerr
ingt
hingsabout
meconf usest
hehel loutofme.
Hecomesbackwi
thchi
ckencurr
y.Iwastenot
ime
anddi
gin.Hei
seat
ingbutIcant
ellt
hathis
at
tent
ioni
snotont
hef
ood.
“I
tusedtomakemesickaswel
l
,”hesays.Iguess
he'
srefer
ri
ngt
othebeef.
“Metoo,
butt
heal
ler
gywanedwhenIwas15or
16.
”
“
16.
”Hej
umpsi
n.
Oh?
??Ir
aisemyeyebr
ow.
“Iaccept
edmygiftwhenIwas20, t
hatwaseight
yearsagoandyoumust'vebeen16.”Ithi
nkit
's
supposedtobesomeofexplanat
ion,exceptt
hatit
causesmoreconfusi
onthatthef
ir
ststatement.
“
Wher
eist
hegi
ft
?”Iask.
Hefrowns,andt
henburst
sint
olaught
er.Icannot
getusedtohisl
augh.
“Di
dn'tyousayyougotagi f
twhenyou…. .
.”Ohf uck
Zanamuhla.Whatlevelofdolt
ishnessist
his!He
doesn'tmeanawrappedgi f
toranyt hi
ngl
ikethat.
“
Youar
easangoma?
”Iask.
“
No.
”
“
Whatar
eyou?
”
“Aconnectedi
ndivi
dual
…Doyoudr
inkCoke?They
onl
yhadi ti
nstock.
”
Real
lynow?Fr
om connect
edi
ndi
vidualt
oCoke!
Ihavemorequesti
onsbutIcanseethathe'
snot
wil
li
ngtot
akeitanyfur
ther.Hepour
sthedrink
wit
houtwait
ingformyresponse.
“
Thankyou,
”Isay.
“You'
rewel
come.”Het
hinkst
hatI
'
mref
err
ingt
othe
dri
nkandfood.
“Imeanf
oreverythi
ngyou'vedoneforme.Idon'
t
knowhowI'
lleverthankyou,
”Isay.
“I
t'
smydutyandpl
easur
e.”Hesi
pshisdri
nk.He'
s
st
arti
ngt
obenormalandcomfor
tabl
earoundme.
“
Sowher
ear
eyougoi
ngt
osl
eep?
”Iask.
Henear l
ychokest
odeat h.Oneoft
her
easonswhyI
respectCoke,
onceitchokesyoubr
eat
heacidwi
th
yournose.
“
Areyouki
cki
ngmeout
?”heasks.
“
No,
cur
iosi
tyi
sjustget
ti
ngbet
terofme.
”
“
Iwil
lsl
eeponbedwithyou,
”hesaysandi
t'
smy
t
urnt
ochoke.Am I‘
you’
?
He'
sgr
inni
ngl
i
keani
diot
.
[
11/
19,
09:
42] :Chapt
er6
ZANAMUHLA

OkaynowIwantt osl
eep,myeyesar eachingfrom
watchingt hi
sboringmovie.Heiswat chi
ngbutI
doubthei senjoyingi
teit
her.I'
m st
il
lnotsureabout
thesleepingarrangements,t
hatotherbedroom isa
mess, whichmakeswhathesai dalmost98%
beli
evable.
ButIcan'timagineit
.Meandhi m ont hesamebed?
Thet houghtal
onemakesmyhear trace.I'
veonly
sharedabedwi thaguyt wi ce,anditwashor ri
ble.
NotbecauseIdi dn'
twantt o,itjustwasn'twhatI
thoughtitwouldbe.Itwasnot hingclosetowhatwe
seeonpor nvideos,Iexpectedsomet hingmind-
blowing.Igaveitanothert
ry, andwel lthatwasit.
JeezZanamuhla!Hedidn'
tevensaythathewants
ustogotothoselengt
hs.Hedoesn'thavethose
ki
ndoffeeli
ngs.Whatiswrongwithme?Since
whendidI…..
Hel
ooksatmeandr
aisesaneyebr
ow.
Ihopehedi
dn'
thearmyt
hought
s,you'
dneverknow
wit
hhim.
“
What
?”Iaskner
vousl
y.
“Nothing.”Therei
sabi tofasmil
e.Todayhel ooks
dif
ferent,abitcomfor
tablewit
hat ouchofnormalcy.
Thef ew-secondssmilesandrandom laughs.
“
Gosl
eep,
”hesays.
Iyawnandgetof ft
hecouchli
keIwaswai t
ingf
or
hisper
mi ssi
on.I
shegoingtofoll
owme?Iwantt o
askbutthatwouldbeweir
d.I'
l
ljustsl
eeponone
si
deandl eaveapil
lowf
orhim.
Usual
lyIsleepweari
ngonlyunderwear,
buttodayI
putonmyl ongpantandlooseT-shi
rt
.Don'taskme
whyIdon'thavepyj
amas, t
hey'
renotathingwhereI
comefrom, wesl
eepwithumswenko.
Ikeeptheli
ghton.Idon'
twanttofallasl
eepjustyet
,
Iwanttoseeifhecomest oshar
et hebedwi t
hme.I
wanttoensurethatheusesasepar at
eblanketand
sl
eepsatleast10cm awayfr
om me.
Gosh,
whatifhewantsmetorepayhi
m sexuall
y?
Mendothatallt
het
ime.Iwonderi
fhi
sgirl
fri
end,i
f
hehasany,
knowsthatheisher
e.
“Zanamuhl
a,”–Thevoicecomesf r
om t
hedoor.I
swearmyhear tst
oppedbeat
ingforasecond.I
movetheblanketandpeekout.
Heisst andi
ngwi thhishandonthedoorhandl e.He
hashisser i
ouslookbackon, t
heoneIonce
consideredascruel.Thisti
meithasmer unningout
ofbreath.Hedoesn'tfiti
nmagazine-
coverkindof
l
ookl i
keMndeni .Helooksmuchl i
keBusikhaya.
TheAf ri
canversionofmenati t
spurest
.
“Ul
alekahle.
”Her eachesupt othelightswi
tchand
pushesitdown.Iheart hedoorclosingandfeelhi
s
absence.Igetmixedfeelings,apartofmeis
rel
ievedbutther
e'sthatwor r
iedone.
I'
m amorninggir
l,nott
hatIhaveachoice,i
t'
san
Afri
cangir
lythi
ngtodo;wakeupear l
yinthe
morningandyourchancesofgett
ingmar r
iedar
e
good.
WhatdoImakeforbreakf
ast
?Imeanforsomeone
whodoesn'
teatbr
ead.Whatdoesheeati
nthe
morni
ngs?
Ideci
detocookporr
idge,
it'
stheonlybr
eakf
astI
knowothert
hanbreadandvetkoeks.
I'
m notsurewhatheeat sitwi
thsoIjustputmil
k
alongwi t
hmar gar
ineandhoney.Hedeservessome
specialtr
eatmentaft
ereveryt
hinghehasdonefor
me.It akeitt
othebedroom Iassumeheslepti
n.
“CanIcomei
n?”Ican'
tknockmyhandsar
e
occupi
ed.
Thedooropens.
Hef
rownswhenheseesabowlofpor
ri
dge.
“
Breakf
asti
nbed,
”Iexpl
ain.
Hesit
sonbed.Idon'
tthi
nkithascl
ickedinhi
s
mindyet
,hej
ustdoesn'
tknowwhat'
sgoi ngon.
“Ibr
oughtal
lthesesot
hatyoucandecideonyour
own.Idon'
tknowyoupret
tywell
,”Isay.
“
Am Isupposedt
oeatnow?
”-Hi
m.
Idon'tknowhowtoanswerhisquesti
on.Yeshe'
s
supposedtoeatnow,i
t'
sbreakf
astinbedfora
reasonandnobodyeat
scoldporri
dge.
“Sorry,I'
mjust
….”Hescr
atcheshishead, pr
obabl
y
thi
nkingofthebestwaytorejecti
twithout
offendingme.“Ihadabaddream, Ineedtopuke
andt akeabathbefor
eIeatanythi
ng.”
Thisi
sthefi
rstt
imeI'
mt r
yingt
obeni
cet
ohi
m and
thi
sisthedi
sappoi
ntmentIget
.
“
Butt
hankyou,
”hesays.
Ifakeasmileandl
eave.Ir
egr
ett
hemi
nut
eIputmy
thoughti
ntothi
sbadidea.
Il
eavehi sporr
idgeont hekit
chencounterandgo
backt omybedr oom withmypl at
eoffood.Iwonder
howl ongI'
m goingtobeher e.Imissli
vinganormal
l
ife,
wi thmybrother.Imissgoingtobedwi t
hout
worryingabouthisli
fe.Idon'
tknowi fhewokeup
t
oday.Not
hingi
sguar
ant
eed.
I'
m sit
ti
ngonbedcount
ingmypr obl
emswhenhi s
presencedr
ownsmeinbreat
hlessness.Idon'
twant
tolookathi
m,Ikeepmyeyesfi
xedont hewindow.
Hestandsi
nfr
ontofmeandblocksmyvi
ew.Il
ook
upandmeethi
ssoul-
diggi
ngst
are.
I'
m angr
yforsomereasonsandheisoneoft
hem,
butIdon'
tknowwhathedidexact
ly.
“Idi
dn'tmeant odi
sappoi
ntyou,
”hesaysandIt
ake
ahugebr eath.Heisst
andi
ngtoocl
oseandIcan'
t
breat
hepr operl
y.
“
Zanamuhl
a,”
Somethingaboutthewayhecall
smemakesmy
i
nsidefr
eezes.Hehasn'tt
akenhi
seyesoffme.Hi
s
handcomest othebackofmyneck,nott
oostr
ong
butfi
rm enoughtokeepmyheadup.
“Youhaveaquesti
onandIwantt
oansweri
t
honest
lytoday,
”hesays.
Iknowthatquestion.Hehasdodgedit
,someti
mes
giveni
rr
elevantanswers.ButdoIwanttoaski
tnow?
“
Pleaseaskmeagai
n,”hesays.
IguessIhavenochoi
ce,
hei
sper
sist
ent
.
“
Whyar
eyouhel
pingme?
”Iask.
Hiseyesar
etoosof
t.They'
reneverl
iket
his.The
answerhei
saboutt
ogi vemakesmypalmssweat .
“BecauseI'
vefall
eninlovewithyou.
”Heexudesa
deepbreathandIseehi schestmovingr
hyt
hmical
ly.
“Morethananything.I
tscaresmebecauseIdon'
t
knowhowyouf eelabouti
tmebutI '
dcat
cha
grenadeforyou.”
Yeshewoul
d,Ihavenodoubt
saboutt
hat
.
“
WhatmustIsay? ”Honest
lyIhavenoi
dea,even
t
houghmyhear tknewwhathewasgoingtosay,
I
'
m sti
lli
nshock.
“Don'
tsayanythi
ng.Justallowmet o…..
”Hecl oses
thespacebetweenusandpul l
smyheadt omeet
hishal
fway.Idon'tt
hinkI'
m stil
lbreathi
ng.“To
tast
ethecoffeefrom you,
”headdsandl ockshis
l
ipsonme.Hepl aceshi sotherkneeont opofbed,
myheadl i
esont heVofhi sarm whiletheotherarm
support
smywai st.Hewant stot
asteever
ybi tof
me,slowlyandpassionat
ely.Hedoesn'
tunlockthe
eyecontact
,ourworldsconnecti
nthisspecial
moment .
Hestops, goesuptomyf or
eheadandplantsaki ss.
Itcompleteseveryt
hing.Thepar t
sofmeIdi dn'
t
knowwer emi ssi
ngr econci
le.Il
ookathimlikeit
's
thefi
rstti
meI '
m setti
ngmyeyesonhi m andIjust
knowt hatmyl i
fewil
lneverbet hesame.
“
Dot
heyknow?
”Iask.
“Mndeniknows.
”Hedoesn' tgofurt
hersoIguess
theot
hertwodon'tknow.Nomat terwhichangleI
l
ookatthisfr
om,Busikhayawoul dneveracceptme
andMazwakhewoul ddiebeforeheallowsa
Mthembut odat
ehissister
.
“
Itwon'
twor
k,youknowt
hatr
ight
?”-
Me.
“I'
m notgoi
ngtostoplovi
ngyouZano. ”Heholds
myhandandt hegesturealonemakeseverythi
ng
feelokay.“
Comeshell
, hi
ghwaterorbothofthem,I
willl
oveandprot
ectyoulikeyou'
rethesocketofmy
eye.”
I'
mtryi
ngnott
earup.Whathasmyheartgott
enme
i
nto?GodknowsIputhi
mi nmyprayer
salongmy
brot
her
.WhyaMt hembuoutofal
lpeopl
e!

Wesi tintheli
vingroom wat chi
ngsoccer .No,heis
watchingsoccerandI 'mj ustsi
tt
inginfrontofthe
TV.Hehasn' tsaidanythingaboutgoinghome, I
don'
twantt ospoi lt
hingsbyaski ngeit
her.ButI
don'
tt hi
nkit'
swi seforhi
mt obehere,theyrun
businessesandhavet opr ot
ecteachotherjustin
casesomet hinghappens.
“
Icanr
ecor
dandwat
chi
tlat
er,
”–Hi
m.
ForamomentIhavenoideawhathei
stal
king
about
.Her
eachestotheremot
eandIgeti
t.
“
Noi
t'
sfi
ne,
Idon'
tcar
eaboutTV,
”Isay.
“
Real
ly,
why?
”heasks.
Ishrugmyshoul
der
s.Somet
hingsj
ustdon'
tneed
reasons.
“
Howdoyoukeepupwi t
hwhat'
shappeni
ngar
ound
t
hewor
ld?
”Theint
erestgrowsi
nhi
seyes.
“
Idon'
t,
”-Me.
Hel
ookssur
pri
sed.
“
Youar
ewei
rd.
”
Irol
lmyeyes.Hei
sthelastper
soni
nthewor
ldt
o
tal
kaboutweir
dpeopl
e.
“Jesus!
”Heisst i
lll
ookingatmelikeI'
m somesor t
ofali
enandi t
'sstar
tingtoir
ri
tat
eme.It akea
cushionandthrowi tathi
m.Hecat chesit.If
eel
cheatedon,hewassupposedt oleti
thithim.
“WeZanamahl a.
”Hist oneisplayfulanditreminds
meofmyf at
her
.Inhisf ewdaysoff ather
hoodhe'd
callmel i
kethat
.Theonl ydif
ferenceisthevoice,my
fatherhadadeepvoi cel i
keMazwakhe, andhe
didn'tcometomyf acet osaysomet hing.
“I
ndodaayi
shawauyezwa?
”Heistr
yingt
osound
seri
ous,
buthi
seyesaredi
spl
ayi
ngsomethi
ngel
se,
andheisst
roki
ngmyhairwhi
leati
t.
“Real
ly?Idi
dn'
tknow.
”Myvoiceisget
ti
ngsof
ter
.
I'
m gett
ingl
osti
nhiseyesandl
ovingt
hewayhe
smells.
“Nowyouknow.I fImakeyouangr yi
nanywayl ock
meout si
dei
nthecoldordon'tgivemefood.That'
s
whatmymot herdid,i
t'
scal
ledpunishment
.But
whenyouhitmeyou' r
enotjustdoingi
ttome,the
elder
sgetangryaswell.
”
Thi
sisunexpect
edl
yget
ti
ngdeepert
hanIt
hought
.
“
Itwasj
ustapi
ll
ow,
”Isay.
“Thi
sisnotabouti
t.I
t'
saboutus.Thedo'
sand
dont'
sgoi
ngforward.
”
Myeyeswi den.Heisget
ti
ngcar
riedaway.Just
becausewear eher
etoget
heraf
terakissi
tdoesn'
t
meant hatIsai
dwecanbei nar
elati
onshi
p.
“
Idi
dn'
tsayIl
oveyou,
”-Me.
“
Andthat'
sbecauseyouar
est
il
lcol
lect
ingpoi
nts
f
ormakingmewai t
.”
WTF!Ihat
ehi
m….
Imeanhei
sir
ri
tat
ing.
“Ihopet
heyhelpyouinthelongrun, l
ikeshopping
withasmartcard,
youearnpointsandcl ai
ml at
er.
”
HehashisMndeniside.Thismakesmef eelli
kea
dumb1985vi r
ginbutI
'm notconfessi
ngmy
f
eel
ingssosoon.Iwi
lll
osepoi
nts.
“
Goout
side!
”Isay.
“
Why?
”
Gosh,
thesmi
rkonhi
sface!
“
Becauseyou'
remaki
ngmeangr
y,”Isay.
Helaughsreall
yhar dandIfi
ndmysel
fjoiningi
n.
It
'shardtoeventhinkIoncehat
edhim and
promisedtoprayforhisl
ifet
obemiserable.
.
.
THEMTHEMBUHOMESTEAD

Busikhayai spuf fi
ngasmokeandwat chinga
MadzaCX- 5t hatbelongstohisbrotherdrivesin.
Ngcwet hihasn' tbeenhomef orthreedays.He
ski
ppedhi sshi ftandMndenihadt ocoverf orhim.
Noneoft hem haseverl ef
twithnowor d,
especi al
ly
duri
ngwor kingdays.
Ther
e'ssomuchwor
ktodo,
thei
rfat
heri
sgone
now,theyneedt oholdeachother
'shandsandkeep
thel
egacygr owing.Ontopofthattheyhave
enemies.Theyshoul dbeprot
ecti
ngoneanother
andstandingtogether.
“Qophel
o,”hecall
shi
ssonandhecomesoutoft
he
houserunning.
“Baba, ”-Hestandsinf r
ontofhim andl ooksathi
m.
Theyar egrown.Hisdaught erSangeli
hl ewil
lbe
turning7i ntwomont hsandQophel oisalmost12
year s.It
'sbeenhardwi thoutNombusobuthe
knowst hatsheiswat chingoverthem andhasbeen
givinghi m st
rengt
hf orthepast7year s.
“Cal
lNgcwethi
,tel
lhi
mtoseemei
mmedi
atel
y.”-
Busi
khaya.
Hi
sli
tt
ledupli
caterunsdowntoNgcwethi
'
sthr ee-
r
oom housethatconsi
stsofonebedr
oom,li
ving
r
oom andhispri
vacyroom.
Heknocksatt
hedoorandNgcwet
hiper
mit
shi
mto
comeinsi
de.
“Sawubonababa,
”-Helooksl
ikehisfat
herbuthe'
s
everyt
hingt
hatBusi
khayaisnot.Qophel
orespect
s
everythi
ngt hati
sl i
ving.Hei sapr efectinhisclass
andhasbeenr eceivingawar dsf orthehighest
achieverandneat nessf r
om t hefirstgrade.Het ook
aft
erNombuso, hismot her.Shedi edt woweeks
awayf rom hergraduat i
onwhi l
edel i
veri
ngherl i
ttl
e
duplicate,
Sangelihle.Thatonel ooksexact lyl
ikeher
motherbutBusi khayadomi natesinher .Everyoneis
l
ivi
ngunderhermer cy.Shei stheonl ypersoni nthe
worldwhocanmakeBusi khayaki ssherf eet.
“Jama,areyounotsupposedtobei
nschool?”
Ngcwethiasks,
ref
erri
ngtohim byt
hecl
an-nameas
usual
.
“I
t'
sahol i
dayBaba.
”-Hechuckl
esathi
suncl
e'
s
cl
uelessness.
Ngcwet hiwastr
yingt
ogetsomerestbuthe
real
isesthatt
hesoonerhedeal
swithBusikhayathe
bett
er.Hechangeshisclot
hesandfol
lowsafter
Qophelo.
Itdoesn'
ttakemucht otel
lthatBusikhayais
breathi
ngfir
e.Thisgoesbackt oi
sihlunguissue,
theydidn'
tresol
veitandnowhe' l
linter
rogatehim
abouthi
sdi
sappear
ance.
“Wher
ehaveyoubeen?”Hegoesst
rai
ghtt
othe
poi
ntbef
oreNgcwet
hievensi
t.
“
Itwasaper
sonalvi
sit
,”-
Ngcwet
hi.
“
Soyoul
eftwi
thoutt
ell
inganyone?
”
“
Idi
dn'
tneedanyone'
sper
missi
on.
”
Busi
khayast
andsupandcomestowher
eNgcwet
hi
i
ssit
ti
ng.Heisshaki
ngwi
thanger
.
“
Whoi
ssupposedt
owor
kforyou?
”heasks.
“
Baf
oIknowthi
sisn'
tthepr
obl
em,you'
reangryat
mef
ori
sihl
unguandI’
m sor
ryt
hathappened.
”
Busikhayachucklesandshakeshi shead.Ngcwethi
i
susedt oeveryoneli
steningt ohi
m without
questi
oning.Hei susedi nhavinghiswaybecause
heisa‘ speci
alchil
d.’Well,notanymore.They'
real
l
goi
ngt owor kasequal s.Nobody'sopinioni
sgoing
tomat t
eraboveever yoneel se'
s.
“
Thecat
tl
eneedt
obef
etched,
”hesays.
Ngcwet
hir
aiseshi
seyebr
ow.
“Wher
earetheboys?”Heisrefer
ri
ngtothe
her
dboys,whosedut
yistolookaftert
hecatt
leand
makesurethati
t'
shomeont ime.
“
Theyt
ookanear
lyday,
”-Busi
khaya.
“
Wit
hwhoseper
missi
on?
”
“
Mine.
”
Ngcwethigr
aspswher
ethi
sisgoi
nganddeci
dest
o
obey.
“Theyneedt
obesprayedaswel
l
,”Busi
khayaadds
befor
eNgcwethiwal
ksout.
“
Anyt
hingel
se?
”–Ngcwet
hiunbot
her
ed.
“You'r
ewor ki
ngondel i
veri
esthisweek,notinthe
offi
ce.”Thatdoesn'
tseem tobotherNgcwet hiabi
t.
He'sneverhadapr oblem wit
hwor ki
ng,
f r
om t i
meto
ti
mehehasj oi
nedthef i
eldworker
sandl i
ftedahoe.
Managi ngthetr
ucksandsor ti
ngdeli
ver
iesi sn'
t
somet hi
nghe'dconsiderasapunishment .
“Wat
choutforyourbrother
-i
n-l
aw.Wear enot
l
ooki
ngforwardtoanotherfuneral
,
”hesaysand
Ngcwet
histops.Helooksscared,notbyt
he
menti
onofMazwakhe,
butbecausehi
sbr
other
knows.
“Yourdick,
yourrul
es.Butpl
easer espectusand
keepitther
einyourskomplazi.Idon'
tevenwanta
Ngwanepuppyi nsi
demyf ather'
spremises,
”-
Busikhaya.
Therei
snothinghecansay.Busikhayaisnowt hei
r
fat
her'
svoi
ceandNgcwet hiclear
lyunderstands
wherehecomesf r
om.Buthe'snotgoi ngtoletgo
ofZanamuhlaandshewillbecomehi sri
ghtful
woman.
Theli
ttleboysseehim gat
heri
ngthecat
tleandof f
er
tohelp.16cowsand5cal vesarenochi
ld'splaybut
hewoul d'
vedoneital
oneifneededtobe.Hegi ves
them R20aftert
heyhelpedhim cl
oset
hekr aal.
Mndeniiswaiti
ngforhiminsi
dethehouse.
Ngcwethihasn'
tthankedhi
mf orcover
ingupf
or
hi
m atwork.
“Shefi
nall
yletyougo?
”Hedoesn'tli
kewhat'
s
happeni
ngbuthecannotcont
rolthesit
uat
ion.And
hisbr
otherisglowi
ngfort
hef
irstti
me,maybe
Zanamuhl
aisn'
tsobadaf
teral
l.
“
Takeyourf
eetof
fmyt
abl
e,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
“
Notaft
erever
ythi
ngI
'
vedonef
oryoukhanda
l
akho.
”
Ngcwethichucklesandtheyshakehands.Heis
abouttorepayMndeniwi t
heveryt
hinghehas.He
wil
lalwaysremindhim ofthef
avourshedidand
manipulat
eshiswayover .
“
Busi
khayaknows,
”–Mndeni
.
Ngcwet
hisi
ghs.
“
Yeahandhedoesn'
twanther
.”
“
Sowhat
'st
hepl
an?
”-Mndeni
.
Ngcwet
hishr
ugshisshoulder
s.Hehasaf
uture
wit
hZanamuhlabuthedoesn'
tknowhowthey'
l
lget
t
oit.
“Tel
lme,howi
sshe?Shelookski
ndofi
nnocent
andbori
ngtome.
”-Mndeni.
“I
'
m notsl
eepi
ngwi t
hherbl
oodyswine.
”Ngcwet
hi
ki
cksMndeni’
sfeetofft
het
abl
e.“Sheisnot
comf
ort
ablear
oundmeyet,
andbesideswear enot
i
narush,wehaveawhol
eli
fet
imetogether
.”
Mndeniyawnsandgr absacanofbeerandsi ps.
Al
coholisnotal
lowedinsi
deNgcwet hi'
shouse,but
Mndenii
shisSaviorhecan'tsayanythi
ng.
“3daysandni
ght
s,andyou'
retel
li
ngmet
hatyou
don'
tknowhowshefeel
sli
ke?”–Mndeni
.
“I
'm notyouMndeniandZanamuhlai snotasnack.”
Somet hi
ngoccursinhismindandhesmi les.“But
youshould'veseenherfacewhenItol
dherI '
m
goingtoshareabedwi thhert
hefi
rstnight.I
twas
pri
celess!
”
“OhBawo!Thatconfi
rmsmysuspi
cions.She
doesn'
tknowanythi
ngandbor
ingwheni tcomest
o
i
nti
macy.”
Ngcwethishoot
sadeadl ookathi
m.Hei snot
supposedtothi
nkaboutZanointhatway.What'
s
upwiththemother
fuckerandsizi
ngpeople'
ssexual
ski
ll
s?
“
Youarenoexper
teit
her,
otherwiseyourshar
mout
a
woul
dn'
thavel
eft
,”Ngcwethisays.
Thatdoesn'
tsi
twellwi
thMndeni
.Youdon’tt
alkl
ike
thatt
osomeonewhokeepssavingyourass,
Ngcwethii
sungrat
eful
.
“Waitunti
lyoustartyourni
ghtepisodes.Shemi ght
l
eaveyoubef oreyouevent apthecookiejar.
”He
pickshiscanandwal ksout.Ngcwethihisses
angril
y.Zanamuhlastil
lhasalottodiscoverabout
him,thelastt
hingheneedsi ssomeonet oenfeeble
him wit
hnegativi
ty.
Het
akesouthi
sphoneandcal
ls.
“Iwasaboutt
odrivether
e,”hesayswhen
Zanamuhlafi
nal
lyanswers.Heisjustt
easi
ngher
.
“Ihavet
hingst
odoNgcwethi
,Idon'
twaitonthe
phonetojumpupwhenyoucall
,”-
Zanamuhla.
Ngcwethismil
es.Heli
kesitwhenl
it
tl
ethingsannoy
her.He'
dpushallherbut
tonsi
fhedidn'
thavefear
s
aboutthei
rfut
ure.
“I
'm sor
ryf
ornotcal
li
ngyouassoonasIgothome.
Ihadasafejour
ney,
butIhaveal
otofworktodo,
”
hesays.
Zanamuhl
asi
ghsouti
nrel
ief
,angervani
shes.
“
Didt
heynoti
nter
rogat
eaboutyourwher
eabout
s?”
Ngcwethiexhal
es.Hewi shesZanamuhl
awouldlet
goofthesequestions.Whyfocusonthi
ngsyou
havenocontrolover?
“
No,
”hesays.
“That
'snothowyousayyour‘no.
’Youar
elyi
ng
Ngcwethi.Whatdi
dtheydo?
”
Nothowhesays-hi
sno?Hehasawayofsayi
ngno?
Butheal
waystal
kthesameway.
“
Don'
tfr
ownonme!
”Sheyel
ls.
Ngcwet
hialmostj
umps.Hepul
lshi
sface
i
mmediatel
yandexhal
es.
“Busi
khayadidi
nterr
ogat
emebuti
t'
snot
hingf
or
youtoworryabout,
”hesays.
ThedooropensandBusikhayaent
ers.Hedoesn’
t
l
ookpleased.Nowthey'
redi
scussi
nghisname!
“Getmynameoutofyourmouthandt
hat
sharmout
aofyour
s,”hesays.
“
Don'tcal
lherthat
!”Ngcwet
hir
emovest
hephone
f
rom hisearandstandsupt
ofacehi
sbr
other
.
“OrwhatNgcwet hi
?Whatar
eyougoingt
odo?”
Busi
khayathrowsdocumentsonhi
schestandt
hey
scat
teral
loverthefloor
.
“Pi
ckthatupbef
oreitget
sdirt
y.Mot herhas
announceddi
nner.
”Hewal ksout
,leavingNgcwet
hi
i
nhighdudgeon.
Zanamuhlaisstil
lontheli
ne.Sheheardeveryt
hing
andherhearthassunk.Ngcwethiishi
dingthetruth
fr
om her,t
hingsarenotgoingwellbet
weenhi m and
hi
sbrothers,andit
'sal
lbecauseofher.
Ngcwet hipi
cksthepaper
sfrom t
hefl
oorand
catchesaglimpseofthefor
gott
enongoi
ngcallon
thescreenofhisphone.
“
Zano???
”Hishear
tskipsabeatwhenher
eal
ises
t
hatshemust'
vehear
deveryt
hing.
“
Youdon'thavetogot
hroughal
lthatbecauseof
me,
”-Zanamuhla.
“
Whatdoyoumean?Il
oveyouandwi
llf
aceany
stor
mt hatcomesmyway.Pl
easedon’
ttakewhat
you..
.Zano….
Zanamuhl
a?”
Thecal
lwasl
ongdr
opped.
Hetri
estocallheranumberoftimesbutsheisno
l
ongeranswering.Hefeel
sthedisconnect
ionand
hi
sheartwrenches.Thepainissharpert
han
anyt
hinghehaseverfeltbef
ore.
“Ngcwethi
,
”-Hismot
her
'svoi
cecal
lsout
sidet
he
door.Hedragshi
sempt
yselfupandopens.
Shewal
ksinwithaplat
eoff
oodandput
sitont
op
oft
hecoff
ee-
table.
“Youdon' teatmyf oodnow? ”Shelooksbet ternow.
Mnot hoal waysmakesur ethatshetakesher
medicat ion.Hewassupposedt obeagi r
l,the
doctort oldhershewashavi ngababygi rlbuta
four
thboyf ol
lowed.Shewasabi tdi
sappoi ntedas
herwi shwast ohaveatl eastonedaughter, buther
tear
swer ewipedbyt hebirt
hofhergr anddaught er
.
AndMnot hoiseverythi
ngshet houghthavi nga
daught erwoul dbel i
ke.Heisherpill
arofst rength.
“
What
'sbot
her
ingyou?
”Shehasn'
tseenmuchof
Ngcwet
hil
atel
yandshecanseet
hroughhi
seyes
t
hatsomet
hingisnotr
ight
.
“Youknowyoucanal waystakei
mpephoandt al
kto
yourgrandfat
hers.
”Sheknowsthathersondoesn'
t
easi
lyopenupt othel
ivi
ng.Healwaystur
nsto
abadal
af orgui
dance.
“I
t'
smatt
ersoft
hehear
t,I
'
minl
oveMaMbonambi
”-
Ngcwet
hi.
Thecorner sofhismot her'
sli
psl if
tupi nt
oasmi l
e.
Shehaswai t
edf orthisdaywi thant i
cipati
on.It'sa
pit
ythatMadodawon' tbeheretowi tnesshi ssons
fi
ndingtheirotherhal ves.Busikhayahasn' tbrought
anyonehome, hei sfocusedonr ai
singhischi ldren
andgrowi ngthef amilybusiness.Fr om ti
met otime
shehasr eceivedcompl ai
ntsaboutMndeni
messingwi thpeopl e’
sdaught ers.Mnot hoi sstil
l
young,hehasn' tfiguredoutmuchi nlife.
“
Whoi
sshe?
”-MaMbonambi
.
Thequesti
ongagsNgcwethi
.Hecannottel
lherthat
heisinl
ovewit
hthesist
erofherhusband'
skil
ler
.
It
'st
oosoon.
“
Youwi
llknowherwhent
het
imei
sri
ght
,”hesays.
Shechoosesnott
omakehersonmor e
uncomfor
tabl
eandleti
tgo.Butsheaskshimto
ret
urnt
heplat
etothekit
chenwithoutasi
ngl
egrai
n
ofri
ce.
Ngcwet hifeelsthedisconnect i
onbetweenhi m and
Zanamuhl a.Nott hewirecommuni cati
on,buttheir
spir
itsdri
ftapar tandhehast heincompletenesshe
hadbef oreher.Aheavybur densitonhi sshoulders.
Whenhi sel dershavenopl acei nhisheartandmi nd
theysettl
eonhi sshoulder
sunt ilheclearsspace
forthem.
“Noooooooooooooo!”Thescream f
ill
suptheyar
d
andhisbrot
her sspr
intoutoftheki
tchenf
oll
owed
bythei
rmot herwhohasi mpephoont hel
id.
Theyfi
ndhim onhisknees,groani
ngandshaki ng
hi
sshoulder
sl i
kehe'str
yingtogetsomethingoff.
Theyhavewitnessedthi
sinthepast,i
tjustdoesn'
t
happenfr
equentlyandtheycannevergetusedt oit
.
Mndenist
art
shel
pinghim byhi
tt
inghi
sshoul
der
s
andt
hatseemstocalm hi
m downabit
.
“Don'tovert
hink,br
eathe.
”–Mndeni .Hetakesthe
l
idfrom hismot herandli
ghtsimpephoandbr i
ngsit
toNgcwet hi’
sface.“Youhavetoclearyourhead
andsoul .Pl
easebaf oyehl
isaumoya.”
Busikhayastandsint heshadowofregret
.Heis
sl
ammedbyt hereal
izati
onofhowtrulyhi
sbrother
hasf all
eni
nlovewi t
haNgwanegi rl
.Ifsomethi
ng
aff
ect sNgcwethispi
ritual
lyi
tmeansrealbusi
ness.
[
11/
19,
09:
43] :Chapt
er7

Mazwakheisstoppedbyafami
li
argi
rl
.Hel
ooksat
hercar
eful
lyassherushest
owar
dshim.Hecan'
t
rememberwhereheoncesawher.
“
I'
m Mandi
sa,
”-Thegi
rl
.
Hei
sst
il
lnotsur
ewhi
chMandi
sai
tis.
“CanIhel
pyou?”Thesunisscorchingandtodayis
nothi
sday.Heispati
ent
lywaiti
ngf ort
hesunt oset
andthenhewil
lremi
ndtheMt hembust hatnobody
i
sgoingtoli
vealavi
shli
fewhiletheyhavenor oad.
“
WasZanamuhl
afoundal
ive?
”Shest
opsi
nfr
ontof
him.Nowthatshehasmenti
onedhi
ssist
erhe
remember
sher .Shei
sagir
lwhousedtovisi
t
Hlahl
aandtheywoulddoschool
wor
ktogether
.
“
Foundal
ive?
”Hei
sconf
used.
“IhopeNgcwet hididn'
tki
llmycousi n.Hemi ght
've
j
ustgi venherani nnocentlif
tandendedup
accommodat ingher .
”Shepullsherbraidsand
sighs.“Ireall
yhopet heydidn'thar
m Jula.Theway
theybr okeinsidethehousewi thguns!”
Mazwakhei
ssi
lentf
oramoment
.
“Areyoutal
kingaboutHl
ahl
a?”Noneoft
hismakes
sensetohim.
Mandisalooksabitconfusedbyt hequest
ion.Why
doesMazwakhel ookssoclueless?Zanamuhla
must’
vetoldhim aboutt
hei nci
dent.
“Yes.Ngcwet hicl
aimedthatmycousi nhad
kidnappedheraf t
eryourfather
'sfuneral.Idon't
knowwher eJul apickedherup,butNgcwet hicame
tomegun- bl azinganddemandedJul a'
saddr ess.I
haven'theardf rom anyofthem andJul a'sphone
hasbeenof feversince.”
Ther
eisonlyoneNgcwet
hii
nthi
sar
eaandheis
Busi
khaya'
sbrot
her
.Whydidhel
ookforHl
ahl
a?
Noneofthi
saddsup.
Fearst r
ikeshisbones.Hedoesn'
tevenknowt he
fri
endHl ahlali
veswith.Heisabadbrother
,hehas
fai
ledtol ookafterHl
ahlal
ikepr
omised.Whatif
somet hingbadhappenedt oher
?Whydi dhetrust
hersomucht obeonherowndur i
ngthis
threat
eni ngti
mes.
Het akeshi
sphoneandtrycall
ingher
.Itgoes
strai
ghttovoi
cemail
.Heistr
yingnottopanicbut
there'
sapossibi
li
tyt
hatt
heMt hembusgotHl ahl
a
again.
“Canyoupleasegivemeyourcousin’saddress?
”
Thehumblesideofhimi sbi
rt
hed.Mazwakhe
doesn'
tsay‘pl
ease,’
especi
all
ytostranger
s.
Mandisawrit
esdownJul a'
saddressandgiveshim.
Hethanksher
,ret
urnshomeandt
akeshi
sfat
her
's
ol
dvan.

Thesecur
it
yhasal
otofquest
ionsbef
oret
heyl
et
himin.Amanwi thgr
eyhai raskswhoheisbefore
heevenreachesthedoor.Heiswaiti
ngforhi
m on
thedoor-
step,
taki
ngfrequentsipsf
rom t
heglassin
hishand.
It
'samoderndoubl
e-st
oreyhousei
nthesubur
bof
Limehi
ll
.Themanisindi
sputabl
eri
ch.
“
I'
m Jul
a'
sfr
iend,
”Mazwakhesays.
Helet
shiminandleadshimt oanopenr oom wi
tha
fi
repl
aceandbi
gleathercouch.Henoti
cesasl i
m
humanlyi
ngwit
haf l
eeceblanketcover
inghim.
“Myloveyourfri
endi
sheretoseeyou,”-
Theman
saysandleavestogi
vet
hem space.Hemustbe
Jula'
sfat
her,t
hat'
showtheycal
lthei
rfancyki
ds,
l
ove.
Julal
if
tshisheadupsl owl
yandlooksatthe
str
angemanwhocal lshi
mselfhi
sfri
end.Hi
sleft
eyeissti
llswoll
en,bel
owitt
hereisasti
tchandno
amountofmake- upcanburythescar
sonhi sf
ace.
HeHATESvi si
tor
s.
“
Whoar
eyou?
”Hei
sir
ri
tat
ed.
“
I'
mthebrotherofagi
rlyoul
if
tedl
astweek.Ar
eyou
t
he‘f
ri
end’sheli
vedwit
h?”
“You'r
eheretof
ini
shmeoff
?Didn'
therboyfr
iend
punishmeenough?Iwasonl
ytryi
ngtohelpherfor
fuck'
ssake!”
“
Herboyf
ri
end?
??”-
Mazwakhe.
“Theonedrivi
ngawhi t
eMadzaCX- 5.
”Tal
king
aboutthi
srevi
vestraumati
cexper
iencesofthatday.
Julahasbeentryi
ngtofocusongetti
ngbetterand
thi
nklessaboutit
.
“Hi
sbrotherwashotthough, Iwouldn'
tminda
make-upsessi
onwi t
hhim. ”Hestil
lfant
asizes
aboutMndenithough.Heishi st
ypeofman.Wel l
,
Daddyisaprovider
,notreall
yhisotherhalf.
Mazwakhei
sstil
lcl
uelessabouthi
ssexual
it
ybut
i
t'
snotsomet
hinghe’dwanttodwellon.
“Ngcwethihasmysi st
er?
”Thequest i
oni
sdi
rected
tohisi
nnerselfbutaskedloudl
y,andJul
adoesn't
hesi
tat
et ojumpinwi t
hananswer .
“
Henear
lyki
ll
edmef
orher
.Iguesshei
stheguy
shewaswai
ti
ngf
orbyt
hebr
idgeanddi
dn'
tshow
up.
”
Somet hi
ngfishyishappening.Mazwakheknows
thathissi
sterisnotseeinganyone,evenifshewas
seeingsomeonei twouldn'tbeaMthembu.Assoon
asthingsgobackt onor malheisgoingtodo
umemul oforher.Shehast akencareofhersel
f
excell
entl
yandhe' sproudofher.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

Therei
saknockatt hedoor .Idon'
tknowhowl ong
I'
vesatherecryi
ngmyeyesout .Ican'
tbewith
Ngcwethi.Idi
dn'
tknowt hatIlovedhimthi
smuch.
ThedaysIspentwithhim wer ethebest
,nobody
hasevermademef eel
speci alt
hewayhedi d.
He'
sbeencalli
ngnon-stopandIcouldn'tanswer.
Wearebett
eroffapart
.Istil
lneedt
of i
gureout
wher
eI'
llgotomorrow,beingherewi
lljustremind
meofhi
m andIdon'
tthi
nkmyhear
tcanhandl
ethat
.
Iopenthedoor
,expect
ingt
ofi
ndhim,butt
omy
surpr
iseMndenii
stheoneonthest
ep.
“Hi…hell
o,”Istut
terandusemyhandst owipemy
face.Itmustbepuf fedupfr
om al
lthecryi
ng.Ican
feeltheheavinessonmyeyel i
ds,
they'
reprobabl
y
swollen.
“Zol
wandle,
”-Hel
etshimselfi
nsideandleavest
he
dooropen.I
'vegr
ownuncomf ort
ableofopened
doors.I
tmakesmef eelunsaf
e,butIdon'
tsay
anyt
hing.
“I
severyt
hingokay?”I'
m prettysurethathedoesn'
t
l
ikemeorappr oveofthesituationbetweenmeand
hisbr
other.Hewouldn'tbeher eifi
twasn't
i
mportant.
“Ummm…..yes.
”Heishesi
tant
.Hekeepsgl
anci
ng
att
hedoorli
kehe'
sexpect
ingsomeone.
I
'
m get
ti
ngner
vous.
Whati
fthey'
repl
anni
ngsomet
hing?I
'
m st
il
lan
enemytothem.
“
Ibroughthi
m over
,”hesaysandIfol
lowhi
seyes
t
olookatthe“hi
m"he'stal
kingabout
.
Ngcwethicomesinandwal kspastus,hegoest
o
MYbedr oom.Nowor doreye-cont
act.Hel
ooks
t
ir
ed,physical
lyandemoti
onal l
y.
Hei
sdi
ff
erent
,noti
nagoodway.
“
Whathappened?
”I'
m hol
dingbackt
ear
s.
Mndenial
sol
ookswor
ri
edbuthe'
str
yingnott
o
showit
.
“Heneedst
orest
.Justbebyhi
ssi
de,
please,
”he
says.
Idon'
taskfur
therquest
ions,
IleaveMndeniri
ghti
n
themiddl
eofthekit
chenandf ol
lowNgcwethi
.
Hei sl
yingonbedwi thhi
seyesclosed,butIcantel
l
thathe'
snotasleep.Iwal
kcloserandstandinfront
ofhim.Slowlyheopenshiseyes,they'
rebl
oody-red
butnotfrom cr
ying.
Theloudsighf
il
lsupt
her
oom andIst
ep
backwards.
“
Zano,
”hecal
ls.
Ist
op,
notbr
aveenought
ogobackt
ohi
m.
“
Iloveyou,
”hesays.
Thi
sdestroysallmypl ans.I
'
m st
il
lnotsurewhy
Mndenibroughthim here.MaybetheyknewthatI
wasplanningtoleave.MaybeNgcwet hif
elti
t.
“You'
renotsupposedtosayt
hat
.I'
m nott
heonef
or
you,youknowthat,
”Isay.
Hesi t
sup….No,heiscomingt ome.Iwalk
backwardsunti
lthewallblocksmyreversedtri
p,
thenIhavenowher etogo.Hecomesandst andsi
n
frontofme,
toof ormetobr eat
heproper
ly.The
sunkeneyesaref i
xedonme.
“
Youar
etheone,
”hesaysandthefeel
ingsIwas
t
ryi
ngt
oshutdownhaveover
whelmedmeagai n.
“Atfir
stIthoughtitwasguiltthatmademewantt o
takecareofyou,butt henyoubecameal lIever
thinkabout.Ist
artedseeingli
f emeaningless
withoutyou.Ihadt hi
sgapt hatonlythethoughtsof
beingwithyouf i
ll
ed.”Heexhal esandplaceshis
handbehi ndmyneck.“ Thent heyshowedme
everythi
ngIneededt oknowaboutyou.Al otmade
sense,
itmadeyout
hepieceofapuzzl
ethathad
beenmissi
nginmyli
fe.
”
“
They?
??”Iaskconf
used.
“Theelder
s.Theyappr
oved,
ther
ecan'
tbesomeone
elsef
orme, youar
etheone.
”
Butt
erf
li
esinsi
demytummy.Howchar
mingcan
one'
sancestor
sbe!
“
Whati
fIdi
dn'
tl
oveyou?
”Iask.
Hesmi
les,
event
houghit
'saweakonebutmyhear
t
war
msupatthesi
ghtofi
t.
“
Youl
oveme?
”–Hi
m.
Ohshucks!
“What?No,Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat.
”Ipushhi
m asi
deand
tr
ytosneakmywayout,buthi
sarm bl
ocksme
agai
n.
“
Youl
oveme?
”heasksagai
n.
“NoIdon'
t.
”Itr
ytosoundasconvinci
ngasIcanbe.
Buthe'
ssmili
ngli
keknowsthescarci
tyoft
rut
hin
that
.
“
Yourspi
ri
tist
ell
ingmesomet
hingel
se.
”
Ihatethathecanreadmespiri
tual
ly,
butevenso,
I'
m notgoingtot
ellhi
m whathewantstohearyet
.
“
Iheardyourbr
other
.Whati
sthatt
hinghecal
led
me?”Iask.
Hiseyesrunawayfrom me.Ij
ustknowitwasn'
t
somethi
ngpleasant
.Theyhavethi
sthi
ngofusing
str
angeterms.
“
Doesheknowt
hatyouar
eher
e?”Iask.
“
Yes.
”
“
Andhei
sokaywi
thi
t?”
“
Notr
eal
ly,
buthedoesn'
thaveachoi
ce.
”
“Why?”Iaskandr
eal
iset
hatI
'm makinghi
m
uncomfort
ablewi
tht
hese21quest
ions.
“BecauseIl
oveyou.”Hi
sgazeisbackonmeand
stuckatmyli
ps.“CanIgetaki
ssbefor
ewegoto
sleep?
”
Hedi
dn'
treal
lyneedananswer
,hewasjustl
ett
ing
meknowinaquestionf
orm.Hi
sli
psbrushmine
l
ikeatease.Thenhestart
sbeingdemanding,
cuppi
ngmyf aceanddeepeni
ngtheki
ss.Therear
e
l
owmoanshemakeswhenheki ssesandthey
makemykneesweak.
Hest opsandstaresatmeoddly.It
'sabattl
eof
glancesunti
ltearswellupi
nhiseyes.Idon'twant
toseehimt ocry,whetheri
njoyorpain.Ipullhi
m
andiniti
ateanotherki
ss.
Heisint
ome, wholehear
tedl
y.Il
etgooft
hedoubt
s
andfear
s,andgivehim myall
.
“
Thankyou.
”Heisbar
elywhi
speri
ng,i
t'
sal
most
i
naudi
blegi
vent
henatur
eofhisvoi
ce.
“
Forwhat
?”Iask.
“
Fort
rust
ingmeagai
n.”
I'
m snuggl
edonhi schest,f
eeli
nghisbreat
hsabove
myheadi sthebestfeel
ingever.Wedon'tdi
scuss
sl
eepingarr
angement s,
Ijustknowthatwe'l
lbe
shari
ngabed.
“Separ
atebl
anket
s?”Iunt
angl
emysel
ffr
om hi
s
embraceandgotothewardr
obe.
Igetnoanswerandl
ookback.
“
Whyar
eyouqui
et?
”
“
Idon'
twantt
osl
eepi
nasepar
atebl
anket
.”
JesusChr
ist
!Whatam Isupposedt
odowi
tha
sul
kyadul
t?
“
Butwecan'
tsl
eept
oget
heryet
,”Isay.
“
Whynot
?I'
m notgoi
ngt
osmasht
heaxe-
wound.
”
WTF!
!!
!
“
Axe-
wound?
??”Iask.
Iswearhe'
ssleepi
ngont hefloororinthat
shamboli
cbedroom.I'm notgoingtoshareabed
wit
hsomeonewhor efer
stomycupcaket hatway.
Axe-
wo….LordI’
m goingtodie!
“Imeantthevulvar
ine.
”Hiseyesareoutonstal
ks.
Hethinksvulvar
ineisabett
erter
m.Well,i
t'
sbett
er
t
hanaxe- wound.
“You'
renevergoi
ngther
eanyway,
”Isaycl
imbi
ngon
bed.I
'm sl
eepi
ngful
lycl
othedasusual
.
“
Never
?”Heaskswhi
let
aki
nghi
sT-
shi
rtof
f.He
takesoffhi
syarnsandbangl
esaswell
.It
'ssucha
reli
ef,
Idon'
tthi
nkIwould’
vebeencomfor
tabl
eifhe
sleptwit
hthem on.
“
Yesnever
!”Isay.
Hel
aughsandwal
ksouthal
f-
naked.
Myphoner i
ngs,theonehegavei
ttome.Nobody
evercal
lsi
texcepthim.I
t'
snothi
snumber,
fora
momentIstareatthescr
eenconfused.
Wel
lletmej
ustpi
ckup.
“
Hel
lo,
”–Thevoi
cei
ssof
ami
li
ar.
Butitcan'
tbehim.Myhearti
spoundi
ng,
Idi
dn'
t
real
iseI'
m scar
edofhi
mt hi
smuch.
“
Ismybr
othert
her
e?”heasks.
Br
eat
heZanamuhl
a!
“Yes.
”Myvoicei
sshaky.Whyi
shecall
ingme?
Ngcwethisai
dnobodywoul
dcal
lthi
sphoneexcept
him.
“
Whyar
eyouwi
thhi
m?”–Hi
m.
“
Ilovehi
m,”Isaywi
thoutanyhesi
tat
ion.I
'
m
sur
pri
sedatmysel
f.Iwasn'
tconf
essi
ngmyf
eel
ings
sosoon,
that
'swhatIsai
dmos.
Ther
e'ssomesi
lence.
“Ifyoulovehim asmuchasyoucl ai
mt henyou' l
ldo
therightthi
ng.Gohome, t
ellyoursi
ster
st hatyou
areinloveandthey'
llcomeher etomanifestthat
.”
“
Comewher
e?”Iask.
“
Toyourf
utur
ein-
laws,
theMt
hembus.
”
Hecan'
tbeseri
ous!They'
l
ldi
sownmeathome,
and
mybrot
herwil
lhateme.
“Thathanky-pankyyou'
redoi
ngoverther
eisnot
howaf utureMt hembuempresscar
ri
eshersel
f,
”he
adds.
Myt onguei
sti
ed.Ikeepthephoneonmyear
becauseIcan'
tberudeanddrophim.
“
That
'sal
l,
keepwel
l.
”
Cal
lended.

Ihaven'
tbeenabl
etosl
eepawi
nk.Al
lIt
hinkabout
i
smyphonecal lwi
t hBusi
khaya.Ihaven'
ttol
d
Ngcwethiabouti
t,Idon'
teventhi
nkIwanthimto
know.
Ifeelsomet
hingtouchingmyboobsandal
most
scream.Fuck,I
'
m sleepingwi
thaman.
“What'
swrongZano?”Hesoundslikesomeonewho
j
ustwokeupf r
om deepsleep,
buthe'sbeent
urni
ng
andtossi
ngforthepastt
wohours.
“
Ijustcan'
tsl
eep,
”Il
ie.
Hemovescloser
.Icanfeelhi
smanhoodj
ammed
f
ir
mlyagai
nstmybut t
,hisarmscr
adl
esmewar
mly.
.
.
Busi
khaya'
sphonehasbeenri
ngi
ngforamoment.
Ashestepsoutoft
hebathr
oom Qophel
ohandsi
t
tohi
m.
“
Whoisthi
ssoearl
yinthemor
ning?”Hel
ooksat
t
hescr
eenandseesthati
t'
sMazwakhecal
li
ng.
Hegr
insaswonder
sracehi
smi
nd.
“
Checki
fSangoi
sready.
”Hetel
lsQophel
oandhe
r
unsoutt
othemainhouset
ocheckhissi
ster
.
Whent
her
oom cl
ear
sheanswer
s.
“
Whatabadwayt
ost
artaday!
”
“
Busi
khayaIwantmysi
ster
,”-
Mazwakhe.
Hesoundsf
rust
rat
ed.Busi
khaya’
sli
psst
ret
chi
nto
asmil
e.
“Idon'tr
ememberyouhi
ringmetolookaft
eryour
sist
er.Nott
hatyoucoul
d'veaf
for
dedto.
”
“Iknowthatyourbr
otherhasher.I
'
m humblyaski
ng
thatyoudon'
tharm herandbri
ngherback.Shehas
nothingt
odowi tht
his.Shei
sinnocent
.”
Mazwakhedoesn' thaveanyideaaboutt he
arr
angement sbetweenZanamuhl aandNgcwet hi
.
Heisundert heimpressi
onthatt
hey'vekidnapped
heragain.Julamust'vegoti
tal
lwr ong,t
he
boyfr
iendstuff,
itcanneverbehissister
.
Busikhayapoursashotofwhiskeyandadashof
l
imej ui
ce.Thi
scall
sforalit
tl
ecelebr
ati
on,
even
thoughit'
stooear
lyfordr
inks.
“
Whatmakesyout
hinkI
'
dcar
e?”heasks.
Mazwakhei soutofopt i
ons.He'smuscul ar,
dangerousandcoul dkil
lyouwi t
hjustaf l
ickofhis
wrist
.Hei sdark,notj
ustinskintone,buthis
characteri
sevenmor edar ker
.Buthe'dmi nimize
himselftoanysizeforhissist
er.He'dpraiseany
foolforherl
if
e.Shemat tersmor ethananythingin
hisli
fe.
“Whatdoyouwant?”He'swil
li
ngtodoanyt
hing.
Evenlett
inggooft
heroadissue,
onl
yifhecanhave
hissi
sterback.
“Youcan'
twakemyfatherup.Ungangi
buzi
amasimba!
”Busi
khayasaysangril
y.
“Neit
hercanyouwakemyparent
s.Nowyouwantt
o
kil
laninnocentgi
rl
.Whyar
eyounotcomi
ngfor
me? ”
“Havingyoursist
eri
smoreint
erest
ing,
ngingakwenzaniwenanamasendeakuhlaza?
”-
Busikhaya.
Thatdr
ivesMazwakhecrazy.Hestar
tsswear
ing
andthr
eateni
ngthati
fBusikhayat
oucheshi
ssist
er
he'l
lcomeforever
ythi
ngthat
'srel
atedt
ohi
m,even
thecatsanddogsofhisf
amily.
“Whenyou'reagoodboyyou' llcal
lmeandar range
apropermeet i
ngwhereyou'llcomeandapol ogise.
”
Busikhayadropsthecal
l.Hel i
kestheimpression
Mazwakhehasoft hesi
tuat
ion.MaybeNgcwet hi
keepingthegir
lisnotabadthi ngaft
eral
l,
he'lluse
thi
stopunishMazwakhe.Nowheknowshi s
weakness.

Ngcwet hipit
chesupf orwor k.He'ssti
llnothimself
.
Thistimehe'sbot heredbyt hest ateheleftZanoin.
Shewasnotokaybuti tgotnothingtodowi t
hhim.
It
'saper sonalbattl
e,andonl yZanamuhl acanhelp
herself
.Ngcwet hihasbeencr ackinghismi ndtryi
ng
tofigureoutwhati tmustbe.Thi ngswer eokay
beforehel ef
ttheroom, theykissedandhef el
ther
spir
itthathaddr i
ftedawayr econnecti
ngwi thhim.
Butwhenhecamebackshewasdi ff
erent.She
hardlysleptatnight.
“
Youdon'
tlookl
ikesomeonewhohadanamazi
ng
ni
ght
,”-
Busi
khaya.
He'
sinagoodmoodt
oday.
Ngcwethisaysnot
hing,
het
akest
het
ruckkeysand
l
eaves.
Mnothoarr
ivesasNgcwethidr
ivesout
.Hel
ooksat
Busi
khayawithaquest
ioni
ngeye.
“
Whathappenedt
ohi
m?”heasks.
“Hemust'
veinher
it
edtheNgwaneat
ti
tude,
he'
s
sleepi
ngwi
thoneofthem.”
Mnot
hot
akesaseatwi
thaf
rownonhi
sface.
“
Sot
hist
hingi
sser
ious?
”
“Sadlyyes,butwecanusethisoppor tuni
tytoget
thatdogonhi sknees.Hedoesn'tknowt hathis
sist
erisfuckinganenemy.Hethi nksweki dnapped
herandhe'swi l
li
ngtodoanythingf orustorelease
her.
”
“Anythi
ng?
”Mnot ho’
sli
pscur
vei
ntoasmi
le.Thei
r
dayjustbr
ight
enedup.
“
He'
l
lsi
gnanagr
eement
,tol
etgooft
her
oadi
ssue
andstayawayfr
om thi
sfamil
y.Afai
luret
oobey
thatagr
eementwil
lputhi
m behi
ndbars,f
oral
ong
ti
me.”
“
Butheki
ll
edf
ather
,that
'snotenough.
”-Mnot
ho.
Busikhayasi
ghs.He'
dli
ketotakei
tfur
ther
,to
punishMazwakhesever
ely,
buthehaskidstothi
nk
of.
“WehadourrevengeMnot ho,andIdon' twant
thi
ngstogetmessier.Thishast akentoomuchof
ourti
me,rememberwehavecl i
entstodelivert
o
andthecommuni t
ylookupt ous.Soonerorl at
er
wehavetorespectwhatNdabast oodf or,hel
ping
thecommunityandleadingbyexampl e.”

Mazwakhecall
sagai
n.Hi
sworl
dhascome
cr
ushingbef
orehi
m.Heisatt
hemercyoft
he
Mthembus.
“
Busi
khayaI
'
m out
sideyourof
fi
ces,
”hesays.
“
Ohyou'
rer
eadyt
otal
kli
keagoodboy?
”
“
Yes,
”Mazwakhesi
ghsheavi
ly.
Busikhayar
iseupf r
om t
hechairwithapleased
smil
eonhi sface.Heinf
ormseveryonethatthei
r
guesthasarri
ved.
Therearetwopoliceof
ficersfeastingonthe
roast
edchickenMndeniboughtf orthem.Besi
de
them si
tsMrMt ambo,theMt hembuf ami
lyl
awyer,
hehasdr aft
edthecont
r actthatbindsMazwakhe
i
ntoanagr eement.
Ngcwet hii
snotincluded.He'
supanddown
managi ngtr
uckscomi nginandoutoft hefarm.He
didn'
teventakelunch-break,
he'
sonl ylooki
ng
forwardtotheendoft hedaysot hathecangoand
seeZanamuhl a.Hedi dn'
twanttobepai ninthe
arse,buthejustcan'tl
eaveheralone,especi
all
y
whensomet hi
ngisnotokay.
“What'
sgoingonhere?”-
Mazwakhelooki
ngatthe
poli
ceoff
icer
s.Oneofthem wasinhisf
ather
's
funer
alandthatmakeshim hat
estheMthembus
evenmore.
“Di
dn'
tyousayyouwantyoursi
sterunhar
med?
”
Busi
khayaasks.
“Oh,soyouki
dnappedherandt
hesef
loozi
esknow
aboutit
?”-
Mazwakhe.
“Don'tcal
lusfloozies,
wear esti
llgatheri
ng
evidencetoputyoui njai
lformur der
.”Thepolice
offi
cersayscrackingchickenbonesl ikeacheetah.
Ther ei
sa2Lofcol ddr i
nkinfrontofthem.The
otheronecannotevenspeak, hiswhol eattent
ionis
ont hemeatinf r
ontofhim.
“You'vecausedenoughhavoc,si
gnthisagreement
andyou'llhaveyoursi
ster
.”Busi
khayapushesa
pieceofpaperandpent ohim.
“
HowdoIt
rustt
hatyou'
l
lletHl
ahl
ago?
”
“They'
reher
efort
hat.
”Mnothopoint
satthepoli
ce
offi
cer
s.Mazwakhecl
ickshi
stongueinannoyance.
“
Ungangi
tshel
angal
emsunuekhot
hai
zinqazenu!
”
“
Heywat
chi
t!
”Thepol
iceof
fi
cerwar
ns.
They'
vejustlostal
lther
espectMazwakhehadf
or
thei
rdepart
ment .
“
Sowhati
sitgoi
ngt
obe?
”-Busi
khaya.
Mazwakhecl
encheshi
sjawsandpi
ckst
hepen.He
fi
llsuphisnamesandsi gnstheagreement.Hei
s
givingi
tallupforhismother
'sonl
ydaughter.He
vowedt oprotectherwi
thhisever
ythinghehas.
“
Shouldyouvi
olat
ethi
sagr
eementwe'
l
lhavear
ight
t
olockyouup,
”–Thepoli
ceoff
icer
.
Mazwakhecl
ickshi
stongue.
“I
fmysi st
eri
snothomebyt heendofthedayyou
aregoi
ngt ol
ockmeupf orviol
ati
ngt
hispi
eceof
paperandwipi
ngouttheMt hembudogs.
”Hewalks
out.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

Ngcwethihasbenteveryrul
etobewithme, Ihave
todothesamef orhi
m.Iknowt hatI
'm embarki
ng
onahardj our
neybutlaphokukhonauthando
nendl
elaikhona.
Hewal
ksinandlooksatthebagnexttome.Ili
ke
hi
minthatwor
kingblueover
all
.Ahard-wor
king
mani
sever
ythi
ng.
“Zano,
”Hesit
snextt
omeandputshisar
msaround
myshoulder
s.“What
'sgoi
ngon?Whyhaveyou
packed?”
“
I'ml
eavi
ngNgcwet
hi.I
t'
sti
meIgobackhomeand
l
ivet
hereal
it
y.”
Hef
rowns.
Ihavet
oexpl
ain.
“Wehavet odothingst
herightway,t
hereisno
j
usti
ficat
ionfort
hisarr
angement.Ihatel
yingt
omy
brot
herandIwanteveryonetoknowt hetr
uth.
”
“
Whatdoyoumean?
”heasks.
“
I'
llt
ellmyfamil
yaboutus.Il
oveyouandIwantus
t
obet oget
her.Wehavetodothingsbyt
hebook,
t
hatwayeveryonecanacceptus.”
“
Youl
oveme?
”Hei
ssmi
li
ng.
Wel
l,
it'
spoi
ntl
esst
okeephi
m wai
ti
ng.
“
YesIl
oveyouNgcwet
hiMt
hembu.
”
Heisnotconvi
ncedaboutmydecisi
onbuthe's
chosent
otrustme.I
nthepastfewdaysI'
velearnta
l
otabouthi
m.Thereismoretolear
nbutIdon'thave
anydoubt
sthathe'
swhatIneed.
Wef
inal
lyr
eachedhi
sret
urni
ngspot
.
“
Whenam Igoi
ngt
oseeyouagai
n?”
“
Soon,
”Isay.
Het
akesof
foneofhi
swr
istst
ri
ngsandhandsi
tto
me.
“
Itwi
llpr
otectyouagai
nstbadspi
ri
ts,
”hesays.
“
Wedon'
thavebadspi
ri
tsathome.
”
“Someti
mesIgothr
oughamathunziamnyama,
you'
reapartofmeandIdon'
twantanyt
hingt
o
aff
ectyou.
”
Ifheputsitt
hatwayIguessIhavenochoice.He
pull
smef oralongt
ightembrace.I
'
m goi
ngt omiss
him,alot.
Butt
hehanky-
panky,
asBusi
khayaput
sit
,hast
o
end.
Mazwakhei
ssi
tti
ngonthechai
r.Hei
scagedi
nto
somedeept
houghts.
“
You'
rehome?
”Iask.
Hel
ooksup,
sur
pri
sed.
“
Hlahl
at heyletyougo?”Heenvelopesmeinwhat
I
'l
lcal
lthebiggestbrot
herl
yhughehasevergiven
me.Hel ooksli
kehehasn'trest
edindays.
“
Idi
dn'
ttr
ustt
hem.”Hehugsmeagai
n,“
OhHl
ahl
a,
I
'
m sosor
ryIl
etyoudowntwi
ce.
”
NowI
'
m conf
used.
“
Areyoual
ri
ght
?”Iask.
“
Nowt
hatyou'
reher
einonepi
ece.
”
Her
eal
lyl
ooksr
eli
eved.
“I
'mjustnotl
ooki
ngf
orwar
dtohear
inggunshot
s,”I
say.
“
Wel
lit
'sover
,theygotme.
”
“
Theygotyou?
”Iask.
“Don'
tworr
yabouti
t.Areyounothungr
y?Wewi l
l
gotoarest
aur
ant,i
ftheshopshaven'
tcl
osedyou'
ll
doyoursummershopping.
”
OkayIneedt odr
opthi
sbagi nsi
dethehouse
i
mmedi atel
y.Hehasneverdoneshoppingwi
thme,
mydayi saboutt
oendonahi ghnot
e.
Ohandtherest
aur
antfood!Idi
dn'
tknowheli
kesi
t
aswel
l.Di
dNgcwethigivemeastri
ngofl
uck?
[
11/
19,
09:
43] :Chapt
er8
ZANAMUHLA

I'
vebeenhomef or3daysandIst i
llhaven'tfi
gured
howI 'm goingt obreakt henewst oZandile,the
eldestsister.Apar tofmef eelslikeMazwakhe
mustknowbef or
eanyoneel se.Yeshe' sabr other
andshoul dn' tbeincludedinmyl oveaf f
airs,butthe
factthatI'
vechosenaMt hembuwi llmakei teven
mor edisrespect f
ulifhei sthelastonet ofindout .
Ther
ehaven'
tbeenanycommotion,
he'sj
usthome
andfi
ght
ingt
hefamil
ybatt
les.I
'
mt r
yingt
oexclude
myselffr
om thedrama.TheysayMamncanei s
l
eavingwithherchil
dren,she'
sgoingbacktoher
home.Somuchf ort
hel oveshesharedwit
hmy
fat
her!Shecan'
tevenmour nhi
m proper
ly.
“Hlahla,
”-Mazwakhepushest hedoorandenters.
Him calli
ngmynamei sequivalentt
oaknock.He's
carryingapairofshoesandIknowwhathe' sabout
toask.Mybr other'
shandsonl yworkwhenhe's
holdinggunsandf i
xingpipes;heisaplumber.But
theydon'tworkwhenhe' ssupposedt ot
iehi
sshoes,
that'
smydut y.
“Pl
easeti
ethesef orme.”Hehandsthem tome.I
knowthathewear stheseshoesverysel
dom.Heis
aboots-
person.Atleasttheydon'
tneedt
obetied
ever
ynowandt hen.
“Whereareyougoing?”IaskasIchannelonelace
thr
oughtheholes.I
'm st
arti
ngtothi
nkthi
si saski
ll
,
l
ikeGodgift
edmewi t
hat al
entandIdeservetobe
pai
dforit
.
“
Noneofyourbusi
ness,
”–Hi
m.
Ist
opandl
ookathi
m.Thi
sisaf
avour
,thel
easthe
coul
ddoi
stel
lmewher
ehe'
sgoi
ng.
“
Iwi
llbebackbef
oreyousl
eep,
”hesays.
Iguesst
hat
'ssupposedt
omakemef
eelbet
ter
.
“Doyouhaveagi rl
friend?”I'
m cur
ioust
oknow.He
hasneveri
ntroducedanyonehome.Iknowaf ew
gir
lsf
rom thepast,andt hat'
sbecauseI
'dhear
rumoursandsecretlyf ol
lowhimtohiscor
ners.I
wasthatnosygrowi ngup.
“
HlahlaifIhavesomethi
ngt
hatIneedyout
oknowI
wil
ltel
lyou,”hesays.
“ButIsawcondomsinyourdr
awer
s,”Isayandhe
narr
owshiseyes.“
Doesshecomehere?”Iask.
“Hl
ahlawhatdoyouknowaboutcondoms? ”He
l
ooksgobsmackedandwor kedup.Iact
uall
ycan'
t
bel
ievehi
m.I'
vebeenaroundfortwodecades.
“
Don'
tinsul
tmyi
ntel
li
gence,
Iwentt
oschool
.”
“
That
'sonl
y?”Hi
seyesar
est
il
lnar
rowed.
Wel
l,
I'
vehadsext
wicebutIcan'
ttel
lhi
mthat
.
“
Whati
sthi
s?”heasks.
Ifol
lowhiseyes,he'
sst ar
ingatthewri
ststr
ingt
hat
Ngcwethigaveme.Theshoesl i
psandfall
sonthe
fl
oor.Idi
dn'
tthinkhe'
dnot icei
t.HowdoIexplai
n
thi
s?I'
m yettotel
lhim aboutNgcwethi
.
“
Tal
k,what
'st
hist
hing?
”Hei
sabi
tfi
rm now.
Deepbr
eat
heZanamuhl
aandt
hinkf
ast
!
“
Ummm…at
hingf
orpr
otect
ion.
”
Fuck!I
'
m st
utt
eri
ng.
“Fr
om where?”Hisvoicesendsshi
versdownmy
spi
ne.He'sknownmehi swholel
if
e,l
yingi
snotone
ofmystrongpoints.
“
From Ngcwet
hi,
”Isay.
Hef
rowns.
“
Ini
???
”
Maybei t
'sti
meItellhi
mthet
rut
h,t
hesoonerthe
bett
er.Iknowhe'l
lbemadbutIbel
ieveNgcwethi
hasgoodi nt
ent
ionsaboutmeandwilldot
heri
ght
thi
ng.
“
Ihavet
otel
lyousomet
hing,
pleasesi
t,
”-Me.
Her
emai
nsonhi
sfeet
,gl
ari
ngatme.
“
Sit
,”Isaymor
efi
rmer
.
Hesitsaft
ert
akingadeepbreath.I
t'
sli
kehe'
s
expecti
ngwhateverI
'
m abouttotel
lhi
m.
“
I'
mli
steni
ng,
”hesays.
Ipr
epar
emysel
fment
all
y.Thi
sisi
t.
“
Ngcwet
hil
ovesmeandIal
sol
ovehi
m.”
Hehasnoexpr
essi
on.Hejustl
ooksatmebl
ankl
y
andt
henlet
soutabri
efchuckl
e.
“That
'swhathet
oldyou?
”Hei
snotangr
y.I
expectedhi
mtoblowup.
“
Yes,
andIknowt
hathe'
sgenui
ne,
”Isay.
“
Ishet
hef
ri
endyouwer
etal
kingabout
?”
“Don'tbemad.”Hi
slookdoesn'
tgi
vemeany
promisebutpermi
tsmetogoon.“YesI
'
vebeen
l
ivingwithhi
m.”
Heexhal
esandburieshisheadonhishandsf ora
moment.Heisst
il
ldigesti
ngit
,sur
pri
singl
yver y
cal
m.I'
m st
il
lner
voust hough,
thi
sisalotforhimto
j
ustaccept
.
Heli
ft
shisheadupandl ooksatme.Heissador
di
sappoi
nted.Idon'
tknow,butt
her
e'ssomepit
yin
hi
seyes.
“HeplayedyouHlahl
a,”hesaysandforasecondI
doubtmyhear i
ngski
ll
s.Ngcwethipl
ayedme?
That'
snottrue,
hedoesn'tknowhimthewayIdo.
“
Itwasal
lformet
ol etgooft
heroadissue.They
t
iedmeint
oanagreementinexchangeofyou.”
Idon'
tthi
nkweareont hesamepage.Andwhati
s
thi
sagreementhekeepstal
kingabout
?Thi
shas
nothi
ngtodowiththat
.
“Youar ehomebecauseIsignedacontractbindi
ng
mei ntothei
rter
msandcondi t
ions.Iwi
llgotojaili
f
Ieverraiset
heissueagai
norhar m oneofthem.
Theyusedyout ogetme.Ngcwet hihasneverloved
you,itwasallmindgames.
”
Theremustbesomemi sunderstandi
ng.What
NgcwethiandIshar
edwasr eal.Am Inai
ve?I
t
seemedgenuineandfel
treal
.
“
ButIwaswi thhi
m wil
li
ngl
yandheneverkeptme
f
rom cominghome.Infact
,I'
mt heonewhochose
t
ocomehomebecauseBusi khayaaskedmetodo
t
hingstheri
ghtway.
”
“Mi
ndgamesHl ahl
a!Takethatthi
ngoff,Ngcwethi
andhi
sbrot
hersusedyou.You'llr
estar
tyour
modul
esnextsemesterandwewi llgostar
tli
fe
somewher
eelse.”Hetakeshisshoesandleaves.
Heisnotangry,
butdisappoint
ed.NowIunder
stand
whythere'
sbeenpeace,whyhei shomeandthere
haven'
tbeenanygun-fi
ghts.If
eelsost
upi
d.
Iletmybr otherdown.Ishoul d'
veknownt heday
theykidnappedmet hattheydon'tcareabout
anyonebesi dethemselves.AndIhat edNgcwet hi,
thosewer emyi nit
ialf
eelings.Ishoul
d'vel i
stenedto
them insteadoflett
ingmyguar dsdownandf al
li
ng
i
nl ovewi thanenemy.Theyki l
ledmyf atherbutI
stil
lfoundawayt obeli
evet hatoneoft hem had
goodi ntenti
onsaboutme.

I
'
m goi
ngt
otr
endi
nthesest
reet
s,ever
yoneIbump
i
ntost
andsandwatches.I
'
mr unni
ngallt
hewayt
o
t
heMthembuoff
iceswithtear
srunni
ngdownmy
f
ace.
ThepainI'mfeel
ingcannotbecompar edto
anyt
hing.Iwasreadytogivemyselftothi
sman.I
waswi l
li
ngtogoagainstmyfamilyforhim.
Il
ovedhi
m andIt
houghthel
ovedmeasmuch.
Thedayi sending,workersarearri
vingintrucks
from t
hef arm.Other
shaveal readyclockedoutand
they'
rerushinghomewi ththeirbackpacks.Women
havetheirfacescoveredincalamine,black
sunscreen,andthey'
relookingforwardseeingthei
r
chil
dren.
Idon'
tknowwhereI'm goi
ngtostar
tlookingfor
Ngcwethi
.I'
veneverbeenher
e,Idon'tevenknow
whichoneishi
soffice.
“
Lady,
”–Thevoi
cebehi
ndme.
Itur
nar
oundandseeMnot
hocomi
ngt
omef
rom
behi
nd.
Di
dher
eal
lyr
efert
omeasl
ady?Heknowsmy
name,wewentt
oschoolt
oget
her.Butthat
'snot
whatI
'
m her
efor,t
heMthembuspoil
t-
brat.
“
Looki
ngf
ormybr
other
?”heasks.
Helookswelli
nfor
med.Theyal lpl
ayedme.My
handsareshaki
ng,tear
sar eburni
ngmyeyesbut
I'
mtryi
ngnottocryinfrontofthi
scrowd.
If
eelhi
spr
esenceandMnot
ho’
seyesconf
ir
mit
.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandIt
urnt
ohi
m.
Ican'
tholdmytear
s.Howdarehepl
aysmeliket
hat
?
Mybrothersi
gnedstupi
dagr
eement
sbecauseof
me.
“
Why?
”Iask.
Hef
rowns.
“
Zanamuhl
awhat
'swr
ong?
”
Oh,
hei
sst
il
lmaki
ngmeaf
ool
.
“Youdidn'
thavetohur tme,t
heremust'
vebeen
anotherway.Idi
dn'tdoanythi
ngtoyou,whydid
youbreakmyhear tli
kethi
s?”
Peopl
ear
elooki
ngatus.Idon'
tcar
e,t
heycan
gossi
pal
ltheywant,
Idoubtanythi
ngcancome
cl
osetot
hepainI'
mf eel
ingr
ightnow.
“
Idon'
tunder
stand.Whatdi
dIdo?
”
Real
ly?Itakeof
fstupi
dstri
ngandt
hrowi
ttohi
m
al
ongwi t
hhiscell
phone.
“Youmightwantt ohearthi
sforyourego,Idi
dlove
youandI '
m heart
broken.Youshouldbeproudof
yoursel
f.Yougotwhatyouwant ed,mybrotherwil
l
neverbotheranyofyouagain.”
Heissti
llhol
dingt
hephoneIt hrewonhischest
.I
don'
tknowwhat ’
sgoingoninhi smind.I
'
dsay
MnotholooksscaredbutIdon'tknowmuchabout
anyofthem.
“I
'
m sodumb! ”Myeyesarebl i
ndedbyt ears,Ireach
upandwi pethem wi t
hmyhands.“ Andyou' r
eso
cl
ever,
Ididn'tseethisonecomi ng.Yourresour ces
arehel
pfulandt helawwillal
waysf avouryou.A
wholecontr
actt oletgoofwhatyout hinkisright!
Youguysar egood. ”
Imakemywaythr
oughgr
oupsofbyst
ander
sand
wal
ktowar
dst
hegate.
“Zanamuhl apl
easewait.
”Heisrunni
ngbehindme
andthegr oupsstepnear
ertowit
nessever
ything.
Hecat chesmebyar m.Beingpl
ainl
ynosyli
ket hese
peoplemustbeacer tai
ndisor
der.
“
Idon'
tknowwhatyou'
retal
kingabout.Expl
aint
o
me,whati
sal
lthi
sabout?Ngenzeni?
”
Hereal
lywantsustogother
e?Tof eedt
hese
peopl
ewhatthei
rearsar
esharpenedtohear
?
Al
ri
ghtt
hen,
sobei
t.
“Youl i
edtome, yousaidyoul ovemeandpr omised
meheavens.Youkeptmei nyourhousei nsome
placeIdon'tknowandsai dyouar eprotecti
ngme.
Youmademef alli
nlovewithyou, onl
ytomakemy
brothersi
gnsomest upidagreementthatcouldput
himi njai
l.
”I'm yell
ingforeveryonetohear,andyes
theyloveit.Thereisn'tmuchdi st
ancebet ween
them andus.
BusikhayaandMndenicl
imboutoft
hecarand
walktowardsthecr
owd.
“Oursi
deofthevil
lagewi
llneverhaveagoodroad,
enoughwaterandgoodservices.Youknowwhy?
Becausewedon' tdeserveallt
hat,wearenot
ci
ti
zensenought oqual i
fyfort
hoseservices.My
motherdiedbecauseshewasn' taciti
zenenoughto
betakenbyanambul ancetothehospital
.Wewalk
mil
est ot
heclini
cbecauseourr oadi
snotgood
enoughformobilecli
nics.”
NoI'
m notcr
yingagain!Iwi
pemynoseandl
ook
st
rai
ghti
ntoBusikhaya'
seyes.
“Youhavewon,congrat
ulat
ions.”IturntoNgcwet hi.
Hiseyesarebl
oodshot,Mndeniisnowst andi ng
nextt
ohim.“Youareabeaut i
fulli
ar,butthankyou
fort
eachi
ngmeani mpor t
antlesson.Ihavel earnt
andnextti
meI'l
lbewiser.
”
Igotever
ythi
ngoffmychestbutI
'm st
il
lheavy-
heart
ed.Iguessi
t'
ll
getbet
terwi
thti
me.
“Il
oveyouZanamuhlaNgwane. ”Hiswordsfol
low
meandIt r
ytoblockthem outofmyhear t.I
t'
sgoing
tobehardfort
heseli
esnott oaf f
ectme.Idon't
knowwhatheistryi
ngt oachievebecausehe
alr
eadygotwhathewant ed.
Il
ookbackathi
m.Hi
shandi
shol
dingt
hephoneon
hi
schest
,hehasn'
tshi
ft
edani
nchf
rom wher
ehe
wasst
anding.
Inti
meIwillfor
gettheeyesthathadcarr
ieda
messageIthoughtwasincredibl
ydeep.The
scrat
chyvoicethathadannoyedmeyetIcouldhear
thesoundofiti
nmydeepestsl eep.
Eventhehabitualf
rowns,
Iwi
llmi
sst
hem but
event
uall
yI'
llgetovert
hem.
Hesayssomet hi
ngandI'
mtoofartohearwhati
tis.
Mndenipull
shim awayfr
om t
hecrowdandthey
di
sappearbetweenthemazeofcar
s.
Ir
unbackhome.
.
.
*
**MTHEMBUOFFI
CES*
**

“
Whatdi
dyoudo?
”
Si
lence.
“
Mnot
ho?
”Het
urnshi
seyest
oMnot
hoandMnot
ho
l
ooksatBusi khaya.Hedidn'tt
hinkthatt
heiract
ions
willcomebackt obitehi
sbrother.Hewasjust
excitedaboutbri
ngingMazwakhet ohiskneesand
neverconsideredthedamagei twouldcauseonhi s
brother'
snewr el
ati
onship.
“It
'swhatshesaidbutwedi dn'
tmeant ocause
problemsforyourf
ling.Ourfocuswason
Mazwakheandt oninghim down.It'
sunfort
unate
thatyougotcaughtont hefi
ri
ngline,
”-Busi
khaya.
Heisverychi
ll
ed.Hewasnothopi ngf
orNgcwethi
andZanamuhlatolastanyway.I
t'
sonest
one-t
wo
bi
rdssi
tuati
on.
“YoumadeMazwakhesi
gnacont
ract
?”Ngcwet
hi
asks.
“Agreement
.Heagr
eedt oletgooft
hewarhe
star
tedandwepromisedthatwewouldn'
thur
thi
s
sist
er.”
“Youwerenevergoi
ngt
ohur
theranyway,
”-
Ngcwethi
.
Heisst
il
ltr
yingt
ounder
standhowhegother
e.
Zanamuhl
awashappyinthemorni
ngwhenthey
spokeoverthephone,t
heywer epl
anningthei
r
fut
ureandverymuchi nlove.Andoutofthebl
ue
herfeel
ingshavechanged.
“
Yeah,
buthedi
dn'
tknowt
hat
,”Busi
khayasays.
“
Soyouusedme?
”
“No,you'
reapartoft
hisf
ami
ly,
itwasf
oryour
benefi
taswell
.”
“Zanamuhlaismyhappi
ness.Whywouldyou
destr
oythatknowi
nghowmuchIl oveher
?”
Busikhayasi
ghs.Whycan’
thisbr
othert
hinkli
kea
normalhumanbeing?Theydon'
thaveafather
becauseoftheNgwanes.I
t'
stoosoonforNgcwet
hi
toforgett
hat.
“
Youwillf
indsomeoneelse.
”Helooksattheother
t
wo.“Wehavetowrapt hi
ngsupandgobef ore
MaMbonambilookforus.
”Hepackshislaptop
i
nsi
dethebag.
“Justl
ikeyou'
vefound‘someoneel
se’
aft
er
Nombuso? ”Ngcwethiasks.
Busi
khayaput
sthebagont
hedeskandgoest
o
hi
m.Ngcwet hishoul
dn'thavementi
onedhislat
e
fi
ance,
nobodydoesi tunlessi
t’
simport
ant.You
j
ustdon'tar
gueanddr aghernameintoit
.
“Repeatthat.
”Hehol dsNgcwethi
’scol
larandlif
ts
him up.Mnot hostandsbythedoorwit
hhi seyes
bulgi
ngout .I
fthesetwofighti
t'
sgoingtobenast y.
Itwil
lbeabl oodyscene.
“
Comeonguys,
”-Mndeniget
sbet
weent
het
woof
t
hem.
“Don'tment
ionthemotherofmychi
ldr
en,
ugci
ne
ngalesi
yaskhekhesakhoboy!
”
Ngcwet
hidoesn'
tsayanyt
hing.Hedoesn'
thavethe
ener
gy,
andifhedoesputhishandsonBusikhaya
he'
dhurthi
m andwon'
tbeabletocontr
olhimself
.
Busi
khayal
etsgoofhi
m andpi
ckshi
sbagand
l
eaves.
“
Areyouokay?
”Mndeniasks.
“
Okay?
??”Ngcwet
hinar
rowshi
seyes.
Hef
eel
sbet
rayedbyal
loft
hem.
“
Ihadnopar
tint
his,
”Mndenisays.
Ngcwethil
ooksatMnot
ho.Hehasgui
ltwr
it
tenal
l
overhi
m.
“
Whenareyoul
eavi
ng?Ar
eyounotsupposedt
obe
i
nShef
fi
eld?
”heasks.
“
Ipul
l
edout
,I’
m notgoi
nganymor
e.”
“
What
???
”-Mndeni
.
HeisshockedjustasNgcwet hi
.Ever
yonehadhigh
hopesaboutMnotho.Hehasdonesowel l
academical
lyandwasgi venanopport
unit
yofa
l
ifet
imewhent hei
rfat
herdecidedtoappl
yforhi
m
atUniver
sit
yofSheffi
eld.
“I
'
m notgoing,”Mnotho’
smindhasbeenmadeup.
He'snotl
eavingthecountr
y,hei
sokaywher
eheis.
“Youknoweversinceyoustart
edsmoking
cigar
ett
esyouthinkyouareaman.Li
stentome
verycar
eful
ly,
youaregoingtobookafl
ightagai
n
andyou'l
lgostudy,
”-Ngcwethi
.
“Sor
rybro,butI
'm notgoi
ngther
e.”Heopenst
he
doorandleaveshistwobrot
hersstunned.
.
.
Ngcwet
hi

FunnyhowI '
vegrownsodependantonsomeoneI
j
ustmet5weeksago.Idon' tremembermuchabout
myjoyanddr eamsbefor
et hat5weeks.Iremember
mylif
ewi t
hmypar ent
s,accepti
ngtheeldersand
complet
ingcoll
ege.Af
terthatit
'sgr
ay,Idon'tknow
whathadmademehappybef or
eher.
AtfirstIdidn'tnot
iceher,I'
m alwaysoccupi edwit
h
somet hing.Itwasonlyunt ilshetalkedtome
dir
ect l
y,withjustt
het woofusi nthehouse, t
hat
somet hingaboutherst ruckmedi f
ferent
ly.Her
voicewasver ymodul at
ed, asiftocompensat emy
not-sopl easantone.Hert hineyelasheswoul d
i
ncl i
neever yti
meshewasaboutt opr essher
buttonsofst ubborness.
ThenIstart
edthinkingabouther.Ibecame
obsessedwithprotecti
ngherandcont ri
butingto
thefutur
eIbeli
evedIhaddest r
oyedf orher.One
nightIwasshownheri nmydr eams, therealher
,
andmydest inywasconf
ir
med.Iwasgiven
everyt
hingIneededt
oknowaboutherandthe
fut
urewasl eftf
ormetofi
gur
eout.
“
Sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
”
Idon'tknowhowmanyt i
mesMndenii
sgoingto
askmet hi
s.He'
skeepingmecompany,morel
ike
babysitt
ingme,becauseinhismi
ndI
'm goi
ngto
overdoseimpephoorsomet hi
ng.
“Idon'
tknow.”I
'mtryi
ngt
obestrong,
topret
endas
i
fnothinghappened,f
ort
hesakeofkeepi
ngmy
headclear
.
“
Can'
ttheel
der
sshowyousomet
hing?
”
“
NoMndeni,yourbrotherdi
dthi
s,theydon'
thavet
o
j
umpinwi
thsol ut
ions.That
'snotwhattheyst
and
f
or,
I'
m af
ullhumanbei ngwithbrai
ns.”
Heput
shi
shandsupi
nsur
render
.
“Justdon'tover
thi
nk,Zol
wandlewillcomeback,
givehertime.”Hefi
nall
yleavesandIr el
easealong
breath.Idon'
thaveti
met ogiveher
, Ineedhernow.
Comingherewasar i
sk.It
'sl
ate,
almost8pm,andI
havenoideahowI'm goi
ngtogether.Ij
ustparked
onourusualspot
,waiti
ngforanyonewhowi l
lpass
by.
Acoupl
ecomefrom behi
ndwiththei
rhandsl
inked.
Iwai
tunt
ilt
heypassnearthewindowandrol
lit
down.
Iexchangegr
eeti
ngswit
htheguyandaskifIcan
getsomehelpfr
om hi
slady.Hei
shesit
ant
,Ihave
tousemynamet oconvi
ncehim.Ihat
edoi
ngt hat
.
“OhMvel ase,Idi
dn'
tseeyou.”Hechucklesand
reachesoutforahandshake.Hisladyiswatchi
ng
sil
entl
y.Igreetherandgetnoresponse.
“Ngamlaisgreet
ingyou.
”Hepokesher
.Shedoesn'
t
budge.Ther
ei sawayshe'sl
ooki
ngatme,l
ikeshe'
d
str
anglemysouloutandsenditt
ohell
.
“
Ineedagi
rlnamedZanamuhl
a.Canyougoaskher
t
ocomeseeme? ”Ii
gnor
eherl
ookandaskhumbly.
“I
'
m Zandil
e,hersi
ster
.”Shesaysandfol
dsher
arms.Sheisbrewi
ngwar .I
t'
saboutherf
ather
.
“
Unesbi
ndiyazi
!”Shei
sdi
sgust
ed.
“I
t'
simpor t
antthatIseeher.”Ihavenochoicebut
tobeg.Ijustneedhertoknowt hetrut
h.Sheneeds
toknowt hatIhadnothingtodowi t
hthecontract
s.I
can'
tclosemyeyesandsl eepifshestaysawake
wit
habl eedingheartbecauseofme.
“Letmetal
ktoher
.”Hepull
sherawayfrom t
hecar
.
Theytal
kforawhi
lewit
hhim hol
dingbothher
hands.Amomentlat
ertheycomeback.
“Wewi l
lbehereaswell
.Idon'
ttr
ustyouaft
er
ever
ythingyou'
vedonetomyfami l
y,
”shesays.
That
'sfairenough.Theguyst aysbehi ndwi t
hme
andI'
m subjectedintosmalltalks.Heput shisj
ob
appl
icat
ionr i
ghthere,vocal
ly.Idon'thirebutaf
ter
whathehasdonef ormei t'
sthel eastIcoul
ddof or
hi
m.
Twofigur
esar eappr
oachi
ngt
hecar
.If
eelachi
ll
anddespairover
whelmsme.Thi
swon'
tgowell
.
Zandil
eandNsimbi,herboyfr
iend,
givesusabit
spacebutthey'
rewatchi
ngme.Zanost andsnextt
o
thedoorandshefeelsnothi
ngbuthatredtowar
ds
me.
“
Iknowyouhat
eme….
”
“Damnr i
ghtIdo.”Shedoesn' tevenwai tformet o
fi
nish.“Whatdoyouwant ?”Shesoundsl ikea
compl etestr
anger .EverywordIhadsl i
psoutofmy
mind.Thi sisnottheZanamuhl aIknewhowt o
speakt o.Thisonehasbui l
twallsaroundher .She
haspr otect
edher selfagai
nstme, andwhat everI
saytoherwon' tmoveheronei nch.There'sonly
onewayi nt
oherandi t'
sthroughherbr ot
her .Ihave
todot hingsrightbyhim.
“Iadmi tt
hatIwaswr ong,
”Isay.Provingmy
i
nnocencei nthi
swi l
lnotchangeanyt hi
ng.I'
ma
Mt hembuandt hatmeansI'm accountabl
ef or
what evermybrother
sdo.Ifitwasn'tsupposedt o
happenIwoul d'
vebeengivenpowert ost opthem.I
guesst hisi
soneofthestormsIhavet ogot hr
ough.
“
WhyareyouhereNgcwet
hi?
”She'
ssocol
dandmy
mindj
ustbl
anksout
.
Sheexhal
esandtakesonestepaway.IknowthatI
don'
twanthert
oleavebutIdon'
tknowhowt osay
i
t.
“
Youhavetogohome, tomorr
owyouneedtogo
makemil
li
ons.”Sheknowsjustwhatt
osayand
wher
etostr
ike.
“
Done?
”-Zandi
le.
Thi
sladyhat
esme.
“
Yes,
”Zanamuhl
arespondsandt
urnst
oleave.
Iholdherandhersi
sterqui
ckl
yjumpst oherside.I
don'twantt
ocauseascene.IrespectZano,even
thoughshedoesn'
tbeli
evemebutIhol dherso
dearlyi
nmyheart.
“
IloveyouZanamuhl
a,”Isay.
Shegaspsandt r
iestotakemyhandof fher
.Ibr
ing
herclosetomychest ,t
hespar kisgonebutshe'
s
sti
llwhatIwant.Beforeshepullsawayandsmacks
mycheekIt asteherli
ps.Itdoesn'tl
astthi
rt
y
seconds,i
twast hequickestki
ssandt hemost
memor ableIeverhad.
“
Iaskedyounott
ohi
tme,
”Isay.
“
Sur
e.AndIaskedyout
obr
eakmyhear
tandmake
afooloutofme?Gotohel
l.Setyourf
oother
eagai
n
andI'
l
lpersonal
lybl
owyourbrai
nsout.
”
“
Iloveyou,
”Isay.
“
AndIj
ustt
hreat
enedyou.
”
Zandi
l
egr
absherhandandpul
lsheraway.
“Leave!”Shedir
ectstomeandIcan'tmissthe
hatredinhervoice.Thi
sisnotgoi
ngtobeaneasy
road.Idon'tj
ustneedZanamuhlaandMazwakhet o
forgiveme,IneedtheNgwaneancestorstoappr
ove
ofme.Thatput smeundert hemercyofthe
Ngwanesasawhol e.
.
.
*
***
THEMTHEMBUHOMESTEAD*
***

Half
wayt hr
oughbreakfastNgcwethijoi
nsthetabl
e.
MaMbonambidi sheshisplat
eandaskshowhe' s
been.Ngcwethij
ustshrugshisshouldersand
scanstheroom.Wellthekidsar
eoutofsi ght
,he
mightaswellmaketheannouncement .
“SoIwast hinki
ng.”Hiseyesroam al
lovert
hetable.
“Wearegoi ngtomakepeacewi t
htheNgwanes.
Closi
ngthef arm wil
lnotonl
yaffectusbutthe
communi t
yatl ar
ge.It'
sthebestthi
ngthathasever
happenedinMpof ana.
”
Busi
khayai
sst
ari
ngathi
m wit
harai
sedeyebrow.
WhodiedandmadeNgcwet
hiadeci
sion-
maker?
“Sowewi l
lmeetwit
hNdabezi
thaandt
alkabout
buil
dingabri
dgeoverMvumase.Wewil
lgi
vethem
theroad.
”
Busi
khaya’
schuckl
ebr
eakst
hemomentofshock
ar
oundthetabl
e.
“
Wewillgot
hroughal
lthatjustf
oryoutogetunder
t
heski
rtoft
heNgwanegi r
l?”heasks.
Ngcwethishr
ugshi
sshoul
dersandsipshi
sdr
ink.
“I
fthat
'showyouwantt
olookatit
.”
“
Ok.I
t'
snothappeni
ngJama,
for
geti
t.
”-Busi
khaya.
Ngcwet
hil
ooksupandf
rowns.
“
DidIsayI
'
m aski
ngf
orper
missi
on?
”
MaMbonambir
eal
izest
hatt
heconver
sat
ioni
s
taki
nganotherdi
rect
ionandasksf
orbot
hthem t
o
calm down.
“Thesepeopl
ejustki
ll
edyourf
atherMabandl
a.
Haveyouf or
gott
enthat?
”-MaMbonambi.
Ifyourmothercal
lsyoubyt hesecondnamei t'
s
nevergood.Itmaybet oosoonforallt
hisandthat
makesNgcwet hifeelsali
tt
legui
lt
y.Theirmother
hasn'theal
edfrom thei
rfat
her'
sdeath,butsadl
yli
fe
can'tbeputonhold.
“I
tgoeswaybackMaMbonambi .Ndabadi dn'
t
deser
vetodiebuttheirpl
easshoul
dn'thavebeen
i
gnoredei
ther.Whattheywantiswit
hintheirr
ight
s,”
hesays.
“
Nxaaa!
”Busikhayast
opseat
ingandt
hrowshi
s
f
orkonthet
able.
MndeniandMnot hoar esil
entlyeati
ngtheirf
ood.
It
'ssuchashamet hatthef amilyisbr
eakingapar
t
sosoonaf terthei
rfather'
sdeat h.Hewasagood
fatherandhadt aughtthem respectandhowt o
treateachother.
“
Haveyoueverhear
dofschadenf
reude?
”–
Ngcwet
hi.
Nobodysaysanyt
hing.Mnothohashi
sphonebut
he'
stoodrai
nedtogooglei
t.
“It
hinkyou'resuf
feri
ngfrom i
t.”He'
slooki
ngat
Busikhaya.EventhoughBusikhayadoesn'
tknow
whatthatis,i
tangershim.
“
Ungangi
dakel
wami
na!
”hesays.
“OhJesusChr i
st!Kwenzenjanikulelikhaya?Myeni
wami wahambawangi f
ulat
hela,”MaMbonambi
breaksdown.Hersonshavef oughtbef ore,
butnot
i
nf rontofher
.Shehasneverwi tnessedsomuch
disr
espectonhert abl
ewhenherhusbandwasst il
l
ali
ve.
“Bot
hofyougetout!
”Mnot hoorder
sbot hhi
sold
brot
her
s.Thisi
snothowhespeakst othem.Her
e
ever
yoneknowshisplace,
wellexceptNgcwethi
.
“
Excuseyou?
”-Busi
khaya.
“Gett
hefuckoutBusi
khaya.
”Hemeansbusi
ness.
Nobodymesseswithhismother
.“Yout
oo
Ngcwethi
.”
Theyst
andupandleave.Mnot
hocomfort
s
MaMbonambiandaskshertocal
m down.
“Whoneedsaci
nema!”SaysMndeniget
ti
ngof
fthe
chai
r,boi
li
ngwi
thanger
.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

AssoonasIwokeupIt ookabroom andsweptthe

yard.ThesuncameoutandIstart
edonthelaundr
y.
I'
vecleanedt
hehouses,
cookedbreakf
astf
or
Mazwakheandscrubbedthepots.
NowI'
m downtothewindows.Mazwakhewalksi
n
andt
akesabucketofwaterf
rom myhands.
Whatiswrongwit
hhim?Can'theseet
hatI'
mt r
ying
tomakethishomespot
less?Weneedtol
iveina
cleanpl
ace.
“
Pleasecomeandhaveaseat
,”hesays.
“
I’
m busy,
can'
tyouseet
hat
?”Isnapandhe
narr
owshi
seyes.Iexhal
eanddr
agmysel
ftot
he
bench.
“
Ihat
etoseeyoul
iket
his,
”hesays.
I
'
mt otal
lyl
ost
.Seemei
nsummerdr
essandf
li
p-
f
lops?
“
Seemel
ikewhat
?”Il
if
tupmyeyebr
ow.
“
Hurti
ng.”Heputshisarm ar
oundmyshoul ders.He
i
srevi
vingsomethi
ngIhavebur i
edinthedepthsof
myheart.Idon'
twanttothi
nkaboutit
.It
'snoton
mymind.
“
I'
m goi
ngtobef i
ne.Ij
ustr
eal
lyt
houghthel
oved
meandIfeelst
upid,
”Isay.
“Ihopeyoulear
ntyourl
esson.Don'ttr
ustamanso
easil
y.Youevenli
vedwit
hhim Hlahlaandli
edt
o
me.Youactedsocheap,”hesays.
Ididn'
tactcheap.Ididn'
tgivehi
mt he‘vul
vari
ne’as
heputit.Memor i
esjustfl
ockmymi ndasI
remembert hatword.Ohandt heaxe-woundone.
Thatonenear l
ymademesl apthestupidi
tyoutof
him.
Ist
il
lfeelgui
lt
yabouthi
tt
inghi
m yest
erdayaf
terhe
ki
ssedme.Ishouldn'
thavedoneit
.
“Hishugsmademef eelsafe.Everyt
hingthi
ng
abouthi m gavemecomf or
t,hiswords,hi
s
stare….andfrowns.Hemadei tlookl
egit
.”I'
mt r
ying
toholdbackt ear sbutI'
mf ail
ingdismall
y.“Hiskiss
wasj ustoutoft hisworld.I
'dmel ti
ntohim,hehad
magi cwi t
hhislips,i
twasl ikeoursoulsweret i
ed
together.Well,
ifIknewi twasal lan……”
Hawu!Wher e'
smyt her
apistnow?Ididn'tf
eelhi
s
armleavi
ngmyshoul ders.Il
ookaroundandsee
hi
m checkinghiscl
othesont hewashingli
ne.
They'
renotdry,Ij
ustwashedt hem anhourago.
Whol eaveshissist
erwhil
eshe'sopeningup?I
thoughtwewer ehavingatherapysession.Hesai
d
hehatesseeingmel iket
hisandIwasopeni ngup
sothatIstopbeing‘l
iket
his.
’
“
MazwakheIwasst
il
lopeni
ngup,
”Iyel
l
.
“
I'
m notl
ist
eni
ngt
othatbul
lshi
t.
”
Ohwow,
great
!It
'sni
cehavi
ngashoul
dert
ocr
yon!
[
11/
19,
09:
43] :Chapt
er9

“
Buildingsuchacompl
exroadwillt
akeayear,and
t
here’sabridget
obemade,thecutt
ingoft
reesand-
-
--
--
--
"
“Theplanwasmadeabout5year sago, thedelays
cameduet othechangesinthemayor alcommi t
tee.
Ijustneedyout ogett
heMi nister'
sappr oval
,he
owesusaf avouranyway,
”Ngcwet hicutshim short
andpassesadocumentovert otheengineer.He
l
ooksati tandpassesittoNgwenya.
“I
'
veneverseent hi
sbefor
e.MadodaandCounsell
or
Mbelesignedit
?”helooksatthedocumentwit
ha
fr
own.Sot her
ewasapl antobuil
danotherr
oad?
Whathappened,thi
splanwasdesigned5years
back.Therewerecontr
actor
sinvol
ved,t
hebudget
wasdr awnup.
“I
twascancelled.Theydeci
deditwouldbebett
ert
o
i
nvestt
hemoneysomewher ewhereitwoul
dbe
morebenefi
cial,andthenNdabadiedbefor
ethe
pl
ansblossomed. ”
“Whatar
eyousayingNgcwethi?Thatyourf
ather
andMbelemisusedthegover
nmentfunds?”-
Ngwenyashocked.
“Ionl
ysaidonei
mpor t
antt
hingandt hatwasyou
needtogetMini
ster
'sappr
oval
, makesurehe
bri
ngshispeopl
etocheckeverythi
ngandspeedup
thepaper
work,
”hesays.
“Sincei
tconcer
nsJamaRanchHouse,
shoul
dn'
twe
discussi
twithBusi
khayaaswel
l
?”
Ngcwet
hicl
encheshi
sjawsangr
il
y.
“Hei
sinchar
geoft
hef
arm,
thi
sdoesn'
tconcer
n
him.
”
Ngwenyanodshi
sheadandcol
lect
shi
sdocument
s
bef
orethemoodget
sthi
cker
.
“Iwi
llwaitforyourcallbef
oret
heendofthi
sweek,
”
Ngcwet hisaysbefor
eNgwenyawal ksout
.He
promisest otr
yhisbesttospeedt
hingsup.
“I'
mlooki
ngforwardtowor ki
ngwi t
hyou.
”Ngcwethi
reachesoutt
oanengi neerandshakeshishand.
Themeet i
ngisover,
heal sopicksuphi
sfil
esand
Ngcwet
hiwal
kshi
m out
.
.
.
Everyt
hingwentaccordi
ngtoplanandtodayisthe
dayofthecommuni t
ymeet i
ng.Ngwenyawillbe
announcingt
heconstruct
ionofthenewroadand
bri
dge.
“Iwonderwhatthi
smeetingi
sallabout?”
Busikhayasaysasheputshi
sbelton.
MaMbonambicannotat t
endthemeetingandher
sonswi l
lgoonherbehal
f.
“El
ect
ionsarearoundthecor
ner,
they'
rerecr
uit
ing
andsell
ingpeopledr
eams,”Mnothosays.
“Wasteofti
me, peopl
ewil
lalwaysvot
eANC, ”-
Busikhayagoesinsi
dethehouseandcomesback
fol
lowedbySangowho' sdemandingspaghett
iand
mil
kshake.
“
Areweevergoi
ngt
oleave?
”-Mndeni
.
“
Baba!
”Sango,
almostcr
ying.
Busi
khayasi
ghs.
“Lookher epr i
ncess,Babahast orushtoameet i
ng,
Gogowi llgiveyouasandwi chandwhenBaba
comesbackhe' l
ltakeyoutoMcDonal d’
s.”Hehas
hishandsonhershoul der
s,hisfi
ngersarecrossed.
Thisisonehel lofachildbuthe'
ddoanyt hi
ngf or
hisdaught er,evenifsherequestedashark'sli
ver
forlunchhe' ddiveintotheseaandhuntf orit
.
“
Andagar
deni
nggearf
orJoj
o,”shesaysecst
ati
c.
Joj
oisaplast
icdoll
,shegetseveryt
hingt
hatSango
get
s,Busi
khayaispracti
cal
lytaki
ngcareof3
chi
ldr
enandonei saplasti
c.
“Defi
nit
ely,
we' l
lgetagardeninggearforourl
it
tl
e
Jojo.Nowr untoGogo. ”Hepushesherand
watchesunt i
lshedisappearsinsi
dethekit
chen
whereMaMbonambii ssit
ti
ngwi t
haneighbour.

Theyal
lgetint
hecarandheadtot
hecommuni
ty
hal
lwherethemeet
ingi
sheld.
“
I'
vebeenthi
nki
ng,i
fwedothecl
eansingcer
emony
t
hiscomingweekwecanst
artpr
epari
ngfor
I
sihl
angucer
emony,
”Busi
khayasays.
“
What
'st
her
ush?
”Mndeniasks.
“Wedon'tneedt
omour nf
ormonthstoshowt
hat
welovedNdaba.Iknowhe'
dwantustomoveon
andfocusongrowingt
hebusi
ness.
”
“
Isecondt
hat,butweneedt
ogetmot
her
'sappr
oval
f
ir
st,
”Mnothosays.
Busi
khayatur
nstoNgcwet
hiwho'
sbeenst
ari
ng
out
sidethewi
ndowthewholet
ime.
“
Baf
o,whatdoyousay?
”
“
Ithaven'
tbeenayear
,wecan'
tdoi
t.
”
“
Whydoyouhavet
oopposeever
ythi
ngt
hatIsay?
”
Ngcwethisighs.Hetakeshiseyesofft
hewindow
andlendsthem toBusikhayawho'sdesper
atel
y
seeki
ngforhisattent
ion.
“MaMbonambii sstil
lgoingtobeint hatbl
ackdress
forayear.That
'showl ongamar riedwifemourns
forherhusband,onlyaftershe'
stakenoffthat
dresswecandoI sihlanguforNdaba. ”
Busi
khayacr
ingestohi
sowni gnor
ance.He'
sol
der
,
heshoul
dknowt heset
hings,
maybehedoesneed
t
omakepeacewi
thNgcwet
hi.
Whent heyar
ri
veinthevenueheasksNgcwethi
aside.Themeet
inghasalreadyst
art
edbutthi
sisa
blackcommunit
y,halfoft
hem arest
il
lonthei
rway.
“NgcwethiIdon'
tli
kethistensi
onbet
weenus,
”he
saysaft
ercleari
nghisthroat.
“
Idon'thaveaprobl
em withyou,I
'
mjustgoi
ng
t
hroughapersonalj
ourney,”-
Ngcwet
hi.
“I
'
m sor ryaboutthegir
lbutIhadtopr ot
ectour
l
egacy.Mazwakheshotyouonce, ifhewasn' t
st
oppedhewoul d'vedoneitagai
nandmaybei t
would'vebeenfatalthesecondti
me.I'vealready
l
ostaf atherbecauseofhim.I'
m notlosinga
brot
her ,
sorryyourloveli
fehadtosuffer,IdidwhatI
di
df orallofyou.”
Ngcwethiexhales.Maybehe'
sbeensel
fi
shaswel
l
,
hedidn'
tconsiderthepai
nhisfami
lywasgoi
ng
thr
oughbecauseoft heNgwanes.
“
Iknow,”hesaysguil
ty.Busikhayaisnotgoingt
o
t
aketheroadthi
ngverywel landit
'sgoingtobe
wor
seifhefindsoutfrom t
hewar dcounsell
or.
“Weneedtoholdeachother’
shandandmake
Ndabaproud.
”BusikhayatapsNgcwet
hi’
sshoul
der
,
happyt
of i
xthi
ngswi t
hhisbrot
her.
“
Idi
dsomet
hing,
”Ngcwet
hisayssheepi
shl
y.
“
Okay?
”Busi
khayal
if
tshi
seyebr
ow.
“Todayt
hey'
reannounci
ngt
heroadconst
ruct
ion
andJamaRanchHousesponsoredt
he
clear
cut
ti
ng.
”
“
JamaRanchHouse?
??”
“
Yes,
Isi
gned.
”
Busikhayadragshim backtothecar.WhenMndeni
checkswhat '
skeepi
ngt hem heseesthecar
speedingoffandrunsbacktocallMnotho.
“
Andnow?
”-Mnot
ho.
“Theywil
lki
lleachother,
Idon'tevenknowwhat
happenednow.”Hedi al
sandtellstheper
sonont
he
phonetofet
cht hem f
rom thehall
.

Busi
khayaandNgcwet
hiwoul
dn'
tdi
srespect
MaMbonambibyf ighti
nginfrontofher,soMndeni
asksthedr
ivert
otaket hem t
ot hefar
m stor
age
wherehesuspectstheymight'veheaded.
IndeedBusikhaya'
scari
sparkedout
side,
theyj
ump
outofthetaxiandrushi
nsi
de.
Andt
hen?
??
Busi
khayaisj
ustsi
tt
ingontopoft
hetabl
epuff
inga
ci
garet
teandNgcwethii
ssit
ti
ngonthefl
oor
l
ooki
ngatthenewspaper.
“
Andt
henyoutwo?Areyounotsupposedtobein
t
hemeet
ing?
”Busi
khayaasks,
glar
ingatthem.
Theyl
ookateachot
herconf
used.
“Wefol
lowedyou,
justi
ncaseyouwerecomi
ng
her
etokil
leachot
her”Mndenisays.
“
No,oneofyoumustbeint
hatmeet
ing,
MaMbonambiwil
ldemandt
oknoweverythi
ngt
hat
wasaddr
essed.
”
Wel
l……
“
Mnot
hoyou'
regoi
ngback,
”Mndenisays.
“Ur
gh!”Mnot
hodragshimsel
ftot
hedoor,
Busi
khayast
opshim bef
orehewalksout
.
“
Wear esponsor
ingt
hecl
ear
cutt
ing,t
hey'
rebui
ldi
ng
abr
idgeoverMvumaseandconstr
ucti
nganew
r
oad.”
“
What
???
”Mnot
hoandMndeniaski
nuni
son.
“
Yeah,
andwemi
ghthaveaNgwanemakot
i.
”
Theirjawsdroponthef l
oor
.Justaweekago
Busikhayawasagai nstt
herel
ati
onshi
pandroad
constructi
on,andnowhe'sexci
tedaboutt
he
possibil
it
yofNgcwet himar
ryi
ngZanamuhla?
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

Al othashappenedandIcan'tsayI'
veheal edfr
om
thehear t
break,butI
'mreadyt
omoveon.Thenew
semest erbeganandIdecidedtobef ul
l-
ti
me.I,
alongwi t
hot herst
udentswhoarefundedbya
bur sar
y,havebeenplacedinabuil
dingthat'sj
ust
10mi nutesawayf r
om thecollege.I
'm usedto
havi
ngmyper sonalspaceandher eI'm shar
ingt
he
ki
tchenwi t
h2ot hergir
ls.Asifthat'
snot
uncomf ort
abl
eenought hef
loorbelowusi s
occupiedbyguys.
“
Ladi
eeees,
”Vuyiswa'
svoi
cebur
stsin.Shei
sback
f
rom wher
evershe'
sbeenandweareabouttol
ist
en
t
oGqomumusi candherendl
essstori
es.
“Cl
assesarestart
ingMonday,weshouldl
ivethi
s
weekendli
kethere'snotomorrow.
”Shepull
souta
bot
tleofwinefrom theshoppi
ngbagandordersme
tot
akeglasses.
“Areweevensupposedtodrinkher
e?”Bontl
easks
whatIwasabouttoask.It
'sneedl
esstosayherand
Irel
atei
nmanyways, shecomesf r
om thevi
ll
age
aswell.
“Wheredi
dtheyf
indyoutwo?”Shethr
owsher
handsupanddri
nksstr
aightf
rom t
hebot
tl
e.
“
Byt
hewayIi
nvi
tedournei
ghbor
sforpi
zza.
”
It
'sbar
elybeentwodaysofl
ivi
ngtoget
herand
she'
salreadybr
eaki
ngboundari
es.
“
Her
e?”Bont
leasks,
eyeswi
den.
“
Yes,wear
ejustgett
ingtoknoweachot
herand
t
hisi
sthet
imetofindstudymates.
”
Bont
lest
andsupandpi
cksherphone.
“
I'
m goingoutandcomi
ngbackwhent
hey'
regone.
What'
sthecurfew?
”Shedi
rect
stome.
“
6am t
o6pm,
”Isay.
“Pleasebedonebef or
e6,”shetel
lsVuyi
swa.Ihope
she'slist
eningbecauseI '
m al
sogoingtomy
bedroom andIwantt ocookuphuthulat
er.I'
vebeen
cravingamasif ordays,andnowthatIhavea
refri
geratorandamont hlyall
owanceI'
m blessi
ng
mysel fwitheveryt
hing.

It
'sbeenalmost2hoursofloudmusic,
high-
pit
ched
voicesandlaughter
.If
orgott
otakeonethi
ng,a
bottl
eofwater,andnowIhavetoseeallt
hose
people.
Iwasgoingt
ogreetthem,t
akewateranddi
sappear
.
Butguesswhat
?JulaniKhumal
oisamongtheguys
si
tt
ingonthecouch,dr
inki
ngci
der
s.Rul
esar
e
bei
ngbrokenhere.
“
You'
ref
ucki
n’ki
ddi
ngme!
”Heget
supandcomes
t
ome.
Idi
dn'
tthi
nkourpathswoul
dcr
ossagai
n.Ihaveso
manyquesti
onsforhi
m.Thi
sguysol
dmeout .
“Youmustbedi sappoint
edt oseemealive,”hesays
withhishandsont hewaist.Todayhe'
swear ingthe
skinni
estj
ean,i
tmakeshi ml ookverypeti
te.Idon't
knowwhet hert
ogi vehim somethi
ngtoeatorl i
sten
tohiscry.
“What'
sgoi
ngonZanamuhl a?Ishetroubl
ingyou?
”
Vuyi
swaasks.IgiveheralooktosayIgot
ever
ythi
ngundercontr
olandturnbacktoJula.
“
Isi
taner
veoryouunder
minepeopl
e?”Iask.
“Yourmannear l
ykil
ledme.Doyouseet
his?”He
pointstoascarunderhi
seye.“
Iwokeupfrom I
CU
allbecauseIt
ri
edtohelpastr
uggl
inggi
rlout
!”
Ist
hisguyseri
ous?He'
stur
ningthi
swhol
ethi
ng
andmakingitl
ookli
kemyfault
.AndI'
ma
st
ruggl
inggi
rl
???
“
ButIf
orgi
veyou.Howi
shi
sbr
other
?”
Hef
orgi
vesme?
??
JesusChr
ist
,Ibur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
“Youneedtohaveyourbr
ainschecked,
”Isayand
proceedt
othekit
chentogetwhatIcamef or
.
Thei
diotf
oll
owsme.
“
Areyoust
udyi
ngher
e?”
“
No,
I'
m awai
tr
ess,
”Isay.
Hesi
ghs.
“Fi
ne.I
'm sorr
ybutIwasonl
ytr
yingt
ohelpyou.We
don'
thavet obepoorwhi
let
her
earepeopl
ewho
havefl
oatingmil
li
ons.
”
“
Jul
anigetoutofmywaybef
oreIsendyoubackt
o
I
CU,
”Isay.
“
Zana-
--
--
--
-"
Ipushhim asi
deandleave.Ican'
tbeli
evehim.I
don'
tknowwhet hert
ocallhim abul
lyorbrai
nless
i
diot
.
.
.
Mazwakhecalledear
li
er,
he'sleavi
ngf
or
Johannesbur
g.Hesayssomeonewhoknows
someonewhoknewourf atherhasabusi
ness
opport
unit
yforhim.
It'
sal ottoprocess.I'
m usedtohim bei
ngathome,
takingpiecejobsandr etur
ninghomewhent hesun
sets.YesI '
m alsofarawayf r
om home,butIwas
comf ortabl
eknowi ngthathe'sbackhomeandIcan
seehi m anyti
meIwant .
Mywholedayjustt
urnedsourandI
'
m wr
appedon
bedcount
ingmybadl ucks.
“CongratsBarbi
ey,yourvil
lagefinal
lyhasabr i
dge
andagoodr oad.Come, it
'salloverthenews.”
That'
sJul al
etti
nghimselfinsi
demybedr oom and
draggingmeout .Don'
taskwhathappened, he'
snot
thetypeyoucanbeangr yatandi gnor
e.Iguesswe
arenowFRI ENDSagai n.
“
Wedon'
tcar
eanymor
e,”Isay.
Thr
eemont hsagoIwould'
vescr
eamedont opof
myvoicehappi
lyandthankedt
hecommuni t
y
l
eader
sf ort
hei
reff
ort
s.ButnowIdon'
tcare,
Mazwakhehasmovedonf r
om t
hei
ssue,sohaveI.
“Owemji!I
sthatyourman?”He’ssti
llwatchi
ngthe
news.Ili
ftmyeyest ot
hescreen.Thereheiswith
hisbr
othersstandi
ngnextt
ohi m,helooksgoodI
mustsay.
“Therehei s,JesusChr ist
!’Histongueisswayi
ng
out.Itturnsouthehasahugecr ushonMndeniand
thi
nksI 'mthebr idgebetweent hem.I'mti
redof
explainingthatI'
m notinar elati
onshipwit
h
Ngcwet hi.It
'sallinthepastandt hel
essIget
remindedabouthi m, t
hebet t
er.
Busi
khayabri
efl
yspeakst
other
eport
erabouthow
exci
tedbei
saboutthecommuni
tydevel
opment.
I
t'
sal
ljustapubl
icst
unt
.

Vuyi
swabel
ievesshoppi
ngi
ssomesor
toft
her
apy
andwear eallhereinthemal lbecauseI'
vebeen
sulki
ngthewhol eday.Idon'twanttoeatnoodles
thewholemont h,I
'mjustwi ndow-shoppi
ngand
tel
li
ngthem whatiscut etobuyandwhat '
snot.The
onlythi
ngI'
m wi l
li
ngtospendmymoneyoni s
ChickenLi
ckendoubl eslyderbox.
“Il
ovethese,”Julahalf-
screami nginf r
ontofan
uglytr
acksuit.Vuyiswaisonanot hersecti
on,the
expensiveone, l
ookingatthesneaker s.Idon'tknow
whereBont l
ei s,
she'sprobablysomewher elooking
forapairofpumpst hatcostslesst hanR100.
“
Areyousur
e?”IaskJul
a.
“Ar
eyouinsane?Lookatthedesi
gn,
thecol
ourand
andand….
I'
m sopayingfort
his.
”
Well
,henevertakepeople'
sopi
nionsser
iousl
y.Thi
s
i
stheugli
estthingapersoncaneverwear.
“
Youwon'
tbel
ievet
his,
”he'
swhi
sper
ing.
“
What
?”Iask.
“
Don'
tlookatt
heent
rance.
”
Wel
l,
Ihaveat
err
ibl
eimpul
secont
rol
.It
urnmy
headexact
lyt
otheent
ranceandl
ook.
Ngcwet
hi.
Fl
ower
s??
?
WTF?
!
.
.
*
***
*EARLI
ERI
NTHEMTHEMBUOFFI
CES*
***

“I
t'
sdone!
”Busikhayasai
dwalki
nginsi
de
Ngcwethi
’
soffi
ce.Theyshookhandshappi
lyand
satsi
detosi
de.
“I
'
m scared,
”Ngcwethisai
dandBusikhayal
aughed.
Atleastt
her
e'ssomethi
nghe'
sscaredof,he
t
houghttohimself
.
“Sheisluckyt ohaveyou,”hetol
dhim.They'dgone
throughal otaft
erthei
rfather
'spassi
ng.Theyki
ll
ed,
foughteachot herandlearntt
heimportanceof
standingtogether.
“
Ihaven'
tseenheri
nmont
hs,
Idon'
tknowwhatt
o
expect
, welosteachot
her,
”Ngcwethisaid.He’
s
doneitallf
orherbutnothi
ngisguarant
eed.They
sayshenevert al
kabouthi
m andwheneverhi s
namei sment i
onedsheshowsnoemot ions.
“You'r
eJamakaMni si,
Iknowyou'
l
lgetherback,
”
Busikhayamoti
vat
edhi m butt
hef
earand
rest
lessnessdi
dn'
tleavehim.
“UMAKOTIUNGOWETHUSI YAVUMA, ”-
Mndeni
walkedinsingi
nganddanci
ng.Themood
bri
ghtenedupasMnothoalsofol
lowedinwi
tha
bunchofflowers.
“
Andthetrees?
”Busi
khayaaskedandt
heyal
l
l
aughed.
“Brot
her,
thi
sisaloverosebouquet
,”Mnot
hosai
d
andpassedthebouquettoNgcwethiwhol
ooked
stunned.
“
Mndenidr
esshi
m up,
”-Mnot
ho.
“What?I'm dr
essed,
”Ngcwethisaidchecki
ngt
he
ti
dinessofhisAfri
canpri
ntedT-shir
t.Hedi
dn’
tsee
anythingwrongwithhowhel ookedandZanamuhl
a
hadlovedhi mli
kethi
s.
“
Nottoday,
you'
llembarrassheri
nfr
ontofher
f
ri
ends.”–Mndeniwalkedoutandcamebackwit
h
acr
ispywhit
eshirti
nahangerandaboxofshoes.
Ngcwethiwasforcedinashi
rthebel
ievedwastoo
ti
ghtforhi
m andwor ebl
ackpoint
yshoesthatmade
himfeelapost
oli
c.
Whenhecameoutoft
hebathr
oom Mndenit
ook
pi
ctur
eswhi
lesi
ngi
ngprai
ses.
“
She'
sgoi
ngt
ogi
veI
Ttoyou,
”hesai
d.
Ngcwet
hisentawar
ningl
ookandt
heyal
llaughed
athi
m.
“I
'mreadytocal
loBabomncanet
oameet ing,
”
Busi
khayasaidbefor
eget
ti
nginhiscaranddrivi
ng
toSango'
sschool.

*
***
*ANHOURLATER*
***
*

Ngcwethit
akesanot
herbreat
hashe'saboutto
ent
ertheshopwhereZanamuhlaandherfr
iends
goti
n.
Ittookmonthsofhar
dwor k,backstabbing,
blackmai
li
ng,aski
ngforfavours,andfinall
yhe'
s
heretogetthel
oveofhislif
eback.
Sheseeshim befor
ehecouldseeherandhi
seyes
i
nvol
untar
il
yfollowherst
rongpresence.
Thereshei
s,wi
thJul
aninextt
oher
,shel
ooks
fr
ozen.
Hemakeshiswaytoher
,ignor
ingthecuri
osi
tyhi
s
pr
esencehasspar
kedonthestor
ewor ker
s.
“Zano,”hest
andsi
nfr
ontofherandcr
acksa
nervoussmil
e.
“Iwi
llcheckonVuyiswa,
”saysJulanigi
vingt
hem
space.Hedisappear
swithhist
racksuit
.
Zanamuhlahasnotsaidanything.Ngcwethihands
herthefl
owers,Mnot
hodi dn'
ttel
lhim whenhe's
supposedtogivet
hem, r
ightnowseemsl ikeagood
ti
mebecausehedoesn'tknowwher etostar
t.
Shejustlooksatthef
lower
s,st
il
lshowingno
emotionsatallandNgcwet
hi’
sfearsar
eonther
oll
agai
n.
“
Webui
ltt
her
oad,
”hesays.
“
Oh,
congr
atul
ati
ons.
”
Well
,thi
sisexactl
yhowhesawitbutBusi
khaya
pr
omisedhimi twasal
lgoi
ngt
obeokay.
Heswal
lows,
“
Imi
ssedyouZanamuhl
a.”
“Ngcwet hi
,
”shet akesaloudbreat
h,“It
oldyouthat
thelessonyout aughtmewi l
lmakemewi sein
futur
e.Youbui l
ttheroadforyourownbenefitand
reputati
on.Wedon' tcar
eaboutitanymore,we'l
l
continueusingtheoldone.”
“Pl
ease,let'
str
yagain.
”Hekeepsittoget
her,he
can'
tletallt
hesepeopl
eseehim cryeventhough
thedi
sappoi nt
mentistoomuchtohandle.
“I
'
m busyasyoucansee,soi
fyouhavenot
hing
el
setosaypl
easeleave.
”
“
Iver
if
iedmymi
stakes,
”hesays.
“
Reall
y?IfIgohomeIwi
llf
indmypar
ent
s?”She
f
akesexcit
ement.
“That'
snotwhatImeant.”Hef
irml
yshutshiseyes
topushbackt ear
s,whenheopensthem t
hey'
re
bloodshotandwet.
“
Pleasedon'
tdot
hist
ome,
”hewhi
sper
s.
Zanamuhlaignorest
hewrenchi
nherheartasshe
seesthepaininNgcwet
hi'
seyesandpushesher
purseunderthearm.
“I'
m notdoi
ngthisagainNgcwet hi,goodluckwi t
h
everyt
hing.
”Shet urnsandleaveshim standingin
thepassage.Shedoesn'tlookforherf r
iends,she
rushestothebathroomsint hetaxirankwher eshe
sinksonthetoi
letseatandletstearsfloodout.
Shehadf orgott
enabouti
t.Thesefeel
ingswere
buri
ed,whydi dhecomebackt oher?Howi sher
heartst
il
llovi
ngt hi
smanafterever
ythinghi
m and
hi
sbr ot
hershavedone.

Ngcwet hidr
iveshomewiththel
astdropofhis
strengt
h.Whenhi sbr
other
shearthecardri
vingi
n,
theyallgoouttomeethim.
Thecarparksi
nbuthedoesn'
tgetout
.Amoment
passesandMndenideci
destogocheckonhi
m.
Hefi
ndshim wit
hhi
sheadburiedonthesteer
ing
wheelandheknowsthati
tdi
dn'tgowel
l.
Af
terknocki
ngonthecarwi
ndowformorethan5
mi
nuteshegivesupandfet
chesBusi
khaya.
“
Whathappened?
”Busi
khaya.
“
He'
snott
alki
ng,
Idon'
tknow.
”
Ittakesawhilef
orhimtoopenthecar.He'shol
ding
allhiswri
st-
bands,
yarnsandi
ziphandla.
“
Ngcwet
hi!
!!
”Hi
sbr
other
sexcl
aim.
Whathe'
sdoi
ngi
sdanger
ousf
orhi
m.
“
I'
mti
red,
”hesaysf
aint
lybef
orehethr
owsi
tal
lon
t
hegr
oundandheadstohishouse.
“
He'
sgoi
ngt
odi
e,
”Mndenisaysf
ri
ght
ened.
“
Baf
odosomet
hing,
”-Mnot
ho.
Busi
khayaissti
lli
ndisbel
ief
.Whathasgot teninto
Ngcwethi'
shead?Whateverhappens,painfulornot,
youdon'tt
urnyourbackontheelders,especial
lyi
f
you'
resomeonel
ikeNgcwet
hi.
WhenhegetsinsideNgcwethi'
sbedroom t
oknock
somesenseint
ohi sheadhe'sfastasl
eeponbed.
Heletshi
m be,
maybesl eepi
ngwi l
lcoolhi
m down.
Heplaceshi
sthingsnexttohispil
lowandleaves.

I
t'
sget
ti
nglat
eandNgcwet hiissti
llsl
eepi
ng.
MaMbonambiannouncesdinnerandMndenigoes
t
ocheckonhim.
Ther
e'snosi
gnofNgcwet
hii
nthebedr
oom.
Hecheckst hebathr
oom, not
hing.Hegoesoutsi
de,
thecarissti
llpar
kedwher ei
twas.Ngcwethial
ways
tel
lhim whenhe'sgoingsomewher e,
thi
sisso
unli
kehim.
Onhiswaybacki nsi
deNgcwet hi
'
shousehe
stumblesoni siphandlalyi
ngonthedoorstep.So
Ngcwet hididn'tputt
hem backon?Hepi cksitup.
It'
sver
yol d,har danddry.Butwhenhepl acesiton
topofNgcwet hi'
sbedhenot i
cesthati
thasbl ood
droppi
ngf rom it.
Anoldgoatski
n!Whereisthebloodcomingfrom?
Helookscar
eful
ly,
there'
sacrackandthebloodis
i
ndeedcomingfrom i
t.
I
t'
sbad!
!!
[
11/
19,
09:
44] :Chapt
er10
ZANAMUHLA

I'
vebeenr estl
essf ordays.Myat tendancei n
classesarefuti
le,there'
sal otonmymi nd, Icannot
concentrateonanyt hingelse.Aftermyl astclassI
walkbackt other esi
dence.Usual lyIr
ideabuswi th
otherstudents,buttodayIneedt oexer cisemyl egs
andgetsomeai r.Ineedtobr eatheandputmy
fi
ngeronwhat '
sreallybotheringme.
Mazwakhe?Ihaven'
ttal
kedtohimindays.Maybe
i
t'
sthat
,Iworr
yaboutmybr otheral
ot.
“
Hlahl
a,”heanswer
sthephone.
“Ar
eyouokay?”Myvoicei
sshaky.Ihavean
ext
remeter
rorandmychesthasbeenpoundingt
he
l
astfewdays.I
t'
sli
kesomethi
ngbadhappenedor
scar
edme,
andmymi
ndr
efusest
orememberwhat
i
twas.
“
YesI
'
m okay.What
'swr
ong?
”
“
Iwaswor
ri
edaboutyou,
”Isay.
Hechuckl
es.He'
sreal
lyokayandI
'
m supposedt
o
ber
eli
eved,butI
'
m not
.
“
I'
m anoldmanHlahla,
Icanl
ookaf
termysel
f.How
i
severyt
hingt
hatsi
de?”
“Wel
l,
schooli
sgreatandI'
m get
ti
ngusedt
othe
newli
vingar
rangements.
”
“Well
,I'
m notsayi
ngmilkmedrybutt hi
ngsare
l
ookinggood.I'
vebeenmeetingwithpeopleand
securi
ngbusinessdeal
s.Theyrespectpl
umbing
thi
sside.”
ThisiswhatIneededtohear.Ourancestor
sare
maki ngt
hingsthatmadethepotstobedone.Fi
rst
,
thebursaryandnowMazwakhei sgetti
ngbusi
ness
deals.
“
DoyouhaveR300?
”-Me.
“
Moneydoesn'
tgr
owont
reesHl
ahl
a.”
“I
sitnotmadeoutofpaper?UsemyCapi
tec
accountpl
ease.
”Iendthecal
landwal
kwithsome
stanceofhappi
ness.
.
.
*
***
*THEMTHEMBUHOMESTEAD*
***
*

They'
vebeentohospi t
als,
holdingcel
ls,mortuari
es
andeverywhereapersoncoul dbe.Todaythey'r
e
exhaust
ingthelastopt
ion,thati
sconsulti
ng.
Awel
l-
knownsangomawalksinsi
det
heMt
hembu
pr
emi
sesfol
lowedbyBusi
khaya.
“Wherear
ethepeopl
eoft
hishome?
”thesangoma
asks.
“Mamaiswaiti
ngforusinsi
de.It
hinkmybrot
her
s
arewi
thherandthekidsarei
ntheirr
ooms,
”
Busi
khaya.
“No,Imeantheelder
softhishome.It'ssoempty,
wheredidtheygo?”I
tdoesn'tseem l
ikehe's
expect
ingananswer.Busi
khayawoul dn'tknowi
t
anyway.
Theypr
oceedtoNgcwet
hi'
shousewher
ethewhol
e
fami
lyi
swaiti
ng.
“
Makhosipl
easetel
lmethatmysonisokay,
”
MaMbonambicri
esbef
oretheycanevensi
tdown.
“
Mot
her
,cal
m down,
”-Mnot
hor
ubsherback.
Busikhayafetchesi scephu,asmallr
eedmat ,
and
l
aysi tbefor
ethemant okneelon.Hestar
tshitt
ing
hisbonesandcal l
ingoutbot hhi
sancestorsand
themi ssi
ng-Mt hembuones.
“Heinsul
tedhi
selders,
”hesayswhil
egr
oani
ng
l
oudly.Mnothogetsuncomfort
abl
eandmoves
backalit
tl
ebit
.
“
Ishesaf
ethough?
”Mndeniasks.
“
Theel dersarenotwit
hhim.There'
sbloodanda
whit
ecar .Theelder
sarenotwit
hhim.Hehasno
l
ightandyoucannotf i
ndhimifther
e'snoli
ght
.No
matterhowhar dyoutr
y.”
He'
snotmaki
nganysense.Theyexpect
edhimto
gi
vest
rai
ght
for
wardanswers,t
hat'
swhytheypai
d
hi
mt ocomehere,t
ookcar
eofhi
str
avel
li
ngcost
s
andallhi
sdemands.
“
Wewantt oknowwher
ehei
s,
”Mndenisays
i
mpat
ient
ly.
“You'
renotgoi
ngtofindhim.It'
snotyourpl
ace,
”
thesangomalooksatthem onebyoneandshakes
hishead.“
There'
sawoman, whydidyouchaseher
away?”
Theyl
ookateachot
herwi
thconf
usi
on.
“
Shecanf
indhi
m,”hesays.
Mndeniexhales,i
tjustcli
ckedwhohe'sref
err
ingto.
Wherearetheyevengoi ngtostar
taski
nghelpfrom
heraf
tereveryt
hingthey'vedone?
“
Sheneedstocomehere,i
nsidet
hishouseand
r
econnectwi
thhi
m.She'l
lknowwheretofindhi
m.”
Well
,i
tgetsmorecompl
icated.Notonl
ydot hey
needtofi
ndZanamuhl
aandaskhel pfrom her,
they
needtobri
nghert
otheMt hembupremisesaswel l
.

“
Baba,
”-Qophel
owal
ksi
nhol
dinganot
ebook.
Busikhayadr awsi nabr eat
handlooksup.The
sangomaj ustleft
,thingsaremorecompl i
cat
ed
thanhet hought .Event houghhebeli
eveswhathe
didwasr ight,he'sstarti
ngt owi
shhehaddone
thi
ngsdi ff
erently.
“Canyouhel
pmewi
tht
heseZul
uidi
oms?
”Qophel
o
asks.
Busi
khayasighs.Onl
yift
heyunder
stoodwhat
ever
yoneisgoingthr
ough.
“
Ibel
elendl
ela………?
”-Qophel
o.
“
Whatabouti
t?”Busi
khaya.
“BabaI'
m al
soasking,ourteachert
oldust
o
complet
ethesentences."
“
Ummm…al
idl
iwa,
”Busi
khayasayshesi
tant
ly.
“
Areyousur
eBaba?
”heaskswi
thaf
rownonhi
s
f
ace.
“Can'tyouf
indt
hoset
hingsonyourcomput
er?
”
Busikhaya.
Qophel
osighs.Whyisn'
thi
sBab’Ngcwet
hihome?
Healwayshelphi
m withI
siZul
uhomewor
ks.
“
Umkhumi
siul
ingene……?
”Heaskst
henextone.
“Iwasnotbor
ninthe60’sQophel
o.Whydon'
tyou
askGogo?Orevenbett
eraskGoogle.
”
“Theteachersai
dwemustaskourpar entst
ohelp
usandyou' r
etheonl
yparentthatIhave.”He
snatcheshisnot
ebookandstormsout .Busi
khaya
knowst hathi
ssonishi
ghlydisappoi
nted,he'
snot
thetypethatwal
ksoutonhiml i
kethat.
“
Whathappened?
”Mndeniaskswal
kingi
n.
“
Homewor
kandf
ucki
n'i
dioms.
”Busi
khaya.
“Oh!
”Mndenit
akesaseati
nfr
ontofhim andl
ooks
athi
m wi
thcuri
osi
ty.Hemust
'vedeci
dednow.“So
whatgoi
ngtohappen?”
“
Ihavet
ofi
ndZanamuhl
a.”Hesi
ghs.
“
Yout
hinkshewi
lll
ist
ent
oyou?
”-Mndeni
.
“Weneedher ,Ihavet
otr
ymybest
.Ifsheeverl
oved
him she'
l
lfeelsomesympat
hy.
”
Theyallknowthati
t'
llbedi
ff
icultt
ot alkto
Zanamuhla.Shethi
nksNgcwet hiplayedher,and
bothherparent
sdiedbecauseoft heMt hembus.
Mndeniwalksoutandf
indsQophel
osi
tt
ingbehi
nd
thehouse.Hel
ooksangryandhehast
earsi
nhis
eyes.
“
Wher
eist
hathomewor
k,maybeIcanhel
p?”
“
Don'
twor
ryBaba,
Iwi
lluseGoogl
e.”
Mndenir
eal
izest
hatsomet
hingi
swr
ongandsi
ts
nextt
ohim.
“
Whathappenedson?
”
“Nothi
ng.”Hekeepshi
seyesawayf
rom Mndeni
.He
i
saboyandboysdon' tcr
y,t
hat'
swhathi
sfat
her
alwaystel
lhi
m.
“
Youcant
alkt
ome,
”Mndenibegs.
“
IgotanAont
heMot
her
'sDaypr
esent
ati
onIdi
d.”
Mndenisqueezeshi
sarminjoy.Hecoul
dn'
tbe
moreproudofhisnephew.
“
That
'sgr
eat
,youdi
dwel
lJama.
”
“Il
ied.I
twasal
lcr
eati
vit
y,nothi
nggenui
ne.Idon'
t
knowanythi
ngaboutmothersandwhattheydo.”
Mndeniexhal
eswheneverythingfi
nall
ycl
icks.He
putshi
sarm ar
oundQopheloandsaysnot hing.He
doesn'
tknowhowt ocomforthim.For26yearshe's
al
wayshadamot her,hecannotrel
atetot
hepai n
Qophel
omustbef eel
ing.
“Everythi
nghappensforareasonQophelo.Your
mot heriswat
chingoveryouandshe'shappy
becauseyouandSangoar esoclever
.Andme, your
fatherandtheothermonkeyswil
lalwaysbehere
foryou.”
Qophel
ochuckl
es.
“
Bab’
Mnot
hodoesn'
tli
kebei
ngcal
ledamonkey.
”
“
Yout
hinkmonkeysl
ikebei
ngcal
ledmonkeys?
”
Qophel
olaughsl
oudl
y.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

I
'
vebeenamesst
hiswhol
eweek.I
'
m event
hinki
ng
ofgoinghomef ortheweekend,maybeI'm
homesick.Lastnightwecookedr i
ceandati
nof
fi
sh.Vuyiswadidn'teat
,shewantstoli
veonmeat
wit
hR1500mont hlybudget.Idi
shupandwarmit
whil
eboilingwaterfort
ea.
There'saknock, IleaveBontl
eat t
endi
ngtoi tandgo
tothebedr oom wi t
hmyf ood.Ithoughtt
heper son
wasJul ani,butthatonewould'vemadenoi seby
now, hetreatsthiswholeapartmentashis.Hegoes
i
nandoutofever yroom.
“Zanamuhla,
”Bontlel
ett
ingher
sel
finsi
demyr oom
withhereyeswidened.“
There'
samanl ooki
ngfor
you.”
Amanl
ooki
ngf
orme?Whocoul
ditbe?Ihat
emen.
“
DoIknowhi
m?”Iask.
“
Idon'
tknowbutheknowsyou.
”
Iputthepl
ateaway,Bontl
esitsonmybed, sheis
fr
eakedoutbywhoeveritis.Mazwakhedoest hatt
o
peopl
e,butitcan'
tbehi
m, Ispoket
ohim earl
ierand
hewasi nJohannesbur
g.
Busi
khaya?
??
Thesameterr
orI'
vehadfordayscreepsbackin.
Somethi
ngiswrong,
it'
swri
ttenal
loverhisface.
“
Hel
loMaNgwane.
”
Whooah!That
'st
ooni
ceofhi
m.
“
Hi.
”Isoundver
ycol
dandIcan'
tevencont
rol
mysel
f.
Ihat
ethatwehaveonl
yonecouchandIhavet
osi
t
besi
deshim.
“
Ngcwet
hii
smi
ssi
ng.
”
Thereiti
s,thethi
ngthat
'sbeenhaunti
ngmefor
days,Ishould'
veknownithadsomethi
ngtodowit
h
hi
m.
God,
whyi
shest
il
lhaveanef
fectonme?
“We'vel
ookedever
ywher
eandwecan'
tfi
ndhi
m,”he
says.
“That'
ssad,yourconnect
ionsi
nhi
ghplacesdon'
t
alwayshelpyou.Itmustbehar
dtodealwit
hthat
real
it
y.”That
'smebei
ngt
heZanamuhl
aever
yone
knows.
“Yesiti
s.”Hedoesn'
tgett
hesar
casm.“
Weneed
yourhel
pMaNgwane. ”
Ohthedayhascome!Busi
khayaMt
hembui
s
aski
nghel
pfrom me,
anobody.
“
You'r
easkinghel
pfrom me?
”Iaskj
ustt
oconf
ir
m
t
hatIhear
dhim corr
ect
ly.
“Ngcwet
hil
ovedyou.Youmaynotbel
ievei
tbuthe
did,
wit
hhiswhol
eheart,
”hesays.
“That
'swhyhebetrayedme.I
twasbecausehe
l
ovedme? ”I
'
mt i
redofthi
sli
e.Theythi
nktheycan
doanythi
ngtheyli
keandwalkoverpeopl
e.
“Hedidn'
tbetr
ayyou.Heplayednopar ti
nthe
contr
act-
making,hehadnoidea.Thedayyour
brot
hersignedawaytheroadissueNgcwethiwas
worki
ngont hetr
ucksasapuni shmentforl
ovi
ng
you.
”
“
Iconfront
edhi
m andheconf
essedhi
ssi
ns.Don'
t
t
hinkyoucancomehereandl
ietome.
”
“Hedidn'
tdefendhi msel
fbecausehethought
makingthingsrightbyyourbr
otherwil
lprovehi
s
l
ovet oyou.”Hesoundsgenuine,he'
snotthecocky
brot
herIknow, butapartofmedoesn'twantto
beli
evehim.
“Wefought
,hewentbehindourbacks,seal
edthe
roadconst
ruct
iondeal
,ri
skedourmother'
shealt
h
andnowhehasgi venuponwhohei sbecauseof
you.”
Myhear
tst
art
sbr
eat
hingf
ast
.
“
Whatdoyoumeanhehasgivenuponwhohei
s?”
I
'
m get
ti
ngstr
angef
eel
ingsaboutt
his.
“Hethreweveryt
hingaway.Everythingthat
connectedhimtotheeldersisl
eftathomeandhe' s
gone.”Ican'
tmissthefearinhi
svoi ce.Hekeeps
playi
ngwi t
hhiswrist
-watchandpr essi
nghis
fi
ngers.
“Whatdoesthatmean?
”Myst
omacht
urnsi
ntoa
knoti
nstant
ly.
“Oneofhi
swrist
-bandsbl
edthedayheleft.Idon'
t
knowwhatitmeansbutit
'snotagoodsign.”
Al
ri
ght,
breatheZanamuhl
a.Nothi
nghappenedt
o
hi
m,you'l
lfi
ndhim.Heisal
iveandokay.
Hei
sal
iveandokay.Justkeepbr
eat
hing.
.
.
NONTOBEKO

“Arethereanychanges?
”Iaskandhisfacegives
met heanswerIwasnothopingfor.I
t'
sthesame
faceI'
veseent hel
ast4days.Thehopel
ess
sympat het
icone.
Isti
llcan'tnar
rat
ewhatr eal
lyhappened.Hecame
outofnowher e,hedidn'
tevenl ookatt
hesides,he
j
ustcr ossedanditwastool at
ef ormetostopthe
car.Iranoverhim andIhadt oputfearasi
deand
takeresponsibi
li
tyformymi stake.
“Doyout hi
nkhe'severgoingtowakeup? ”Tear
s
arebli
ndingmyvi si
on.I'
m awr eckofemoti
ons.I'
ve
beencryingforsoli
d4days.Ibl ameThul
ani,i
fhe
didn'
tbreakmyhear tl
ikethatIwould'
vebeenhome
andnotdr
ivi
ngar
oundj
ustt
ocl
earmyhead.
Awhol e5f r
eakin’ years!That'shal fadecadeand
I'
vegiventhatmanmyal l
.Ihel pedhi m star
tshis
business,
Iwast hef i
rstclientwhoi nvest
edinhis
companyandear nedhi mt her eput ati
onhehas.I
clot
hedhim, fedhi m andputshel terabovehi shead.
Butnowt here'sabet terwomant hanme.Yes, he
foundsomeoneandhebr utal
lyt oldmet hatIwasn't
awomanf orhim.Het oldmet her emustbe
someoneoutt herewhodeser vesme.Howso?
Whenhewasst rugglinghedeser vedme, andnow
thatheisont opoft hewor ldther e'ssomeoneel se
deservi
ngme.Whatam I ?Abal ltobepassedover .
I'
mi namess.Assoonast hi
smanwakesupt he
policewil
ltakethest
atementandI'
llprobablygoto
j
ail.Nevert
helessIwanthimtowakeup.He' s
someone'sson, maybeevenafather.I'
venever
beensomeonewhoi nfl
ict
spainonot hers.
Igr
ewupwi
thoutpar
ent
ssoIknowhowi
t'
sli
ke.
Ican'
tdot
hatt
oanyone,
hehast
owakeup.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

Myphoner
ings.I
t'
sMazwakheagai
n.
Guil
twashesoverme,Ican'
tanswerhi
scal
ls,
he'
d
wanttoknowwhereIam.Icannottel
lhi
mI'
m att
he
Mthembus,bet
rayi
nghim agai
n.
“Youneedtorelax,
”themansays.Everyonei
s
l
ookingatme,I'
mt heirl
asthope.Themanputs
Ngcwethi
'syarnonmyneckandasksmet ogol
ie
i
nhisbedroom.
MaMbonambicomeswi t
hme.She'sawar m,
humblewoman.Idon'tknowhowshegavebi r
tht
o
suchhot-
headedsons,Ihear
dthei
rfatherwas
humbleaswell,
justt
hathewascorrupt.
“Iwon'tkeepyouherewit
houtyourpar
ent
's
knowledge,”shesays.
Idon'
thavepar
ent
s,It
hinkshemeansmyf amil
y
andIdon'
tknowhowsheplanstol
etthem know.
“
Mysonl
ovedyou,
wehavet
odot
hingsr
ight
.”
Whyi
sshespeaki
ngofhi
mli
kehe'
sdead?
“
Hest
il
llovesme.Hei
sal
ive,
”Isay.
“Ofcourse.
”Shef
lashesasmileandget
saf
leece
blanketf
rom t
hewardrobe,
“Li
eonbedandr
est.”
Aweir
dsmellofi
zinyamazanef
il
lsupt
her
oom and
myeyeli
dsgr
owheavi er
.

~~There'
sawoman, she'
scryi
ngpai
nful
lynextt
o
thehospi
talbed.Shekeepsbeggi
ngthepersonon
bedtofor
giveherandwakeup.Sheaskshimt odo
i
tforhisf
ami l
y.
Amanwalksin,
hehasastet
hoscopesoIassume
hei
sadoctor
,hegoest
othepersononbed.
“Wearetr
ansf
erringhi
mtoKi
ngEdwardMemor
ial
Hospi
tal
.Hewillbefi
ne,
”het
ell
sher
.
Shecr
iesevenmorelouder
.Hetakesofftheoxygen
maskonthepat
ient
'sfaceandeveryt
hingzoomsin.
MyNgcwet
hi!
!!
~~~
“Zanamuhla…Zanamuhla….
.Zanamuhl
a,”t
hevoice
keepscal
li
ng.I'
m cryi
ngandaskingwhathappened
toNgcwethi.
MybodyshakesandIopenmyeyest
o
MaMbonambical
li
ngmyname.
“Theyaretr
ansfer
ringhimtoKingEdwardMemor ial
Hospit
al.He'
snotwaki ngup,
Idon'
tknowwhat
happenedtohim.”Mywhol ebodyisshaking.He
l
ookedhalf-
dead,therewasabandagewr apped
aroundhishead.
“
Mnot
hobr
ingwat
er!
”sheyel
ls.
Mnothorushesi
nwi
thagl
assofwat
erf
oll
owedby
Busi
khayaandMndeni
.
“Heisbeingtakent
oKingEdwar d.Busikhaya
pleasef
indmyson, br
inghim homealive,”shesays
andBusikhayanodshishead.
“MaNgwanear eyoucoming?
”Helooksatme.
Schooli
sthelastthi
ngonmymind,Idri
nkwat
er
andgathermyselfup.
Mndeniget
smeabr
ownugl
ysweat
er.Wear
e
readyt
oleave.Ibl
amemysel f
,Ishoul
d'vet
rust
ed
him,heaskedmet odothatf
orhim.Ishoul
d've
knowhewoul dn'
thurtmeli
kethat.
“
Whoareyou?
”asksal
it
tl
egi
rlbl
ocki
ngmywayat
t
hedoor
.
“
Sangel
ihl
e!”Busikhaya'
svoicecomesbehi
ndand
t
hegir
l'
satt
entionjumpst ohim.
“
Babawher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”sheasks.
Ididn'tevenknowhehadadaughter
.She'
saspoi
lt
brat,doesn'
theteachhermanner
s?
“I
'
m goingtoameet i
ng,
don’tt
roubl
eyour
grandmotherokay?
”Hepicksherupand
di
sappearsinsi
de.
Areweevergoi ngtoleave?Ayoungboycomesout
ofoneoft hehouses.He'saround10or11ifIj
udge
byhislooks.Hecomest omeandgr eet
shumbly
befor
epr oceedi
ngtoanot herhouse.
“Youhaveki
ds?”Iask,put
ti
ngt heseatbel
ton.We
arenotf
ri
ends,
Idon'tthi
nkI'
lleverl
ikehim but
someti
mescuri
ositygetsbet
terofme.
“
Yes,
Ihaveasonandadaught
er.
”
Oh,nicemix.Iwonderwher
ethemot
heri
s.He
doesn'tl
ookli
kesomeonewhohasawomaninhi
s
l
if
e.
“
Thi
ngsgotoutofcont
rol
,
”–Hi
m.
Ikeepqui
etandwai
tforhi
mtocont
inue.
“Anapol ogywi l
lneverbringyourparentsbacknor
willitgetourfatherback.Butyouandmybr other
aredest inedtobetogetherandhel ovesyoumor e
thananyt hi
nginthisworld,peaceshoul
dbemade.
Bot hfami li
eswrongedeachot her,
aneyef oraneye
makest hewor l
dblind.
”
Idon'tknowwhat'
sgoingtohappen.Idon'
tsee
Mazwakhef or
givi
ngtheMt hembusoraskingfor
for
givenessfr
om them,andIdon'tseemyself
l
etti
nggoofNgcwet hiagai
n.
.
.
NONTOBEKO
Theytookhi mforanothersurger
y.Isti
lldon'
tknow
whohei s,
I'vebeencheckingthenewshopi ngthat
someonewoul dreportami ssi
ngperson.It’
sbeen
qui
etandI'vetakenfullr
esponsibi
li
tyofhim.
I'
ml i
vingonenergydri
nks.Thecanteenladygives
meaneyewhenIbuyt het hir
dcanofRedBul l.I
hatepeopl ewhoputt
heirclawsonthingstheyhave
nobusi nesswit
h.
“Andtwosachet
sofBi opl
us.”I
fshedarestosay
anythi
ngIswearther
ewi l
lbeascene.Lucki
lyshe
doesn'
tsayanyt
hing,shekeepsitatt
hesideeyes.
Heshoul
dbeoutofsur
geryanyminut
enow.Iwal
k
t
othewait
ingar
eaandfi
ndtwoothervi
sit
ors.
“You?”saysthel
adyI'
venevermeti
nmyl i
fe.She’
s
l
ookingatmel i
keshe'
sseenmebeforeandwe
haveunfini
shedbusi
ness.
“Whathappenedt
ohi
m?”She'
sangr
y.Shemustbe
rel
atedt
otheman,mypal
msstar
tsweati
ng.How
doIexplai
nthi
s?
“
Ididn'
tmeanto….
Hecameoutofnowher
eandi
t
wastolat
eformetohol
dthebr
akes.
”
“Caracci
dent?Your
anoverhim? ”Shedi
dn'
tknow,
i
t'sal
lashocktoherandshe'scryi
ng.“
Youranover
him?”Sherepeat
sandchargestowardsme.
Themanshe'swit
hjumpsupandholdsherback.
Hecall
sherbyname,Zanamuhl
a,andbegsherto
cal
m down.
“Youknowitwasn'
therf
aul
t,
”hesaysandt hat
seemstoknocksomesenseint
othelady'
shead.
Ithi
nkIhear
dhersayi
ngsor
rybef
oreshesatdown
andburi
edherf
aceonherhands.
I’
ml eftwi
thaman.Hei sdar kanddeadl y.Whenour
eyesmeetf orthef i
rstt
imeachi llrunsdownmy
spine.Whil
stthere'sdarknessinhi seyes,t
herei
s
sti
lll
oneli
nessint hem andt hatcall
stome.Ihate
seeingpeopleinpai nofanysor t,andthathasbeen
takenadvantageofami ll
iontimes.
“BusikhayaMt hembu,hi
sbrot
her,
”hesaysinalow
deepvoi ce.Somethi
ngaboutthemyst
eryaround
him haspi quedmyinter
est
,andnowhetalksli
ke
thi
s,withsomuchcommand.
“
Nont
obekoMaseko,
thedr
iverwhor
anoverhi
m.”
I
t'
sthewei
rdesti
ntr
oduct
ionI
'
veevermade.
“You'vebeenwithhim?”Hishandsaretucked
i
nsidet hepocket
sofhistrouser
.Hedoesn'tl
ook
l
ikesomeonewhocar estoomuchaboutt hi
ngs,or
anyone.Theconf i
dencehehasistoomuch, i
tfeel
s
l
ikehe' st
heonlymanbr eathi
ngint
hisplace,
and
thatkindofauraissexy.
“
Yes,
Iwant
edt
obet
her
ewhenhewakesup,
’Isay.
Henodshisheadandbri
efl
yturnshi
sheadt
othe
l
adyIsupposeisr
elat
edtothem.
“She'
sherenow,
he'
l
lbeal
ri
ght
.Youcangohome
andrest
.”
Thel
adymustbe….
.……Ist
il
ldon'
tknowt
heman'
s
name.
“
Whoi
syourbr
other
?”Iask.
I
'
veneverseenasmi lesoshor
t.Heshowshi
steet
h,
i
tbreaksint
oasmi l
eandonesecondlat
eri
t'
sgone
l
ikenothi
ngeverhappened.
“Ngcwet
hiMthembuandthati
sZanamuhl
a
Ngwane,hi
sfutur
ewi
fe.
”
I'
m st
il
lpuzzl
edaboutt
hewayhedoest
hings,
butI
nodmyhead.
“
Your
eal
lyshoul
dgohomeandr
est
,”hesays.
Theyneedspaceashisf
amil
y.Icancomeback
tomorr
owtocheckonhim,maybetheladywi
llbe
readyt
otal
kaswell.
“Andst opdrinki
ngthosethi
ngs,
”hisvoicestopsme
shor t
,andIturnaround.He'
sreferr
ingtotheenergy
drinkinmyhand, t
helookonhisfacetel
lsme
givingordersisapartofwhohei sandhedoesn' t
l
ookl ikethetypethati
susedintobeingdisobeyed.
Ithrowthecaninsi
dethebi
nonmywayout .Why
doeshisopini
onmat t
ertome?Wejustknoweach
other'
snamesandnot hi
ngmore.
[
11/
19,
09:
44] :Chapt
er11

ZANAMUHLA

ThedooropensandBusi
khayawal
ksi
n.Idon'
t
underst andwhyhedoesn' tknock,whati
fIwas
naked?Hel ooksbet
terthanthepastfewdays.We
don'ttalkthatmuch,buthehasmynumberand
frequent l
ychecksonme.Idon' tknowthenameof
thehot elbutwe'r
enearthebeach.
“
Wehavet
ogot
othehospi
tal
,
”hesays.
I'
mjumpy,alwaysexpect
ingbadnews, Ngcwethi
’s
unchangi
ngconditi
onisput t
ingmeonedge.The
doctor
shavedoneeverythinginthei
rpower
,they
saynowit'
supt ohi
mt ofight.
“Isever
ythingalright?”Ijumpof fbedandgr abmy
sweater.Myhandsar eshaking,Ihaven'tbeen
taki
ngcar eofmysel fverywell
.Thel asttimeIate
properl
ywasbef or eIfoundoutt hatNgcwet hihad
gonemi ssing.Idon' tevenknowwhenl astdidI
haveapeacef ulsl eep,andtherear eendlesstri
psto
thehospital,
ont heot herhandI'mi gnori
ng
Mazwakhe.
“
Yes,l
et’
sgo.”Hist
onesoft
enstoputmeof fedge.I
f
oll
owhim out,
insi
dethel
if
tther
e'sthatwoman
whoranoverNgcwethi
.Sheisaclassywoman,
fi
nancialstabl
easwel li
fImayguess.Butt here'
s
somethingmi ssi
ngfrom her,
andthat'
sMi ss-Has-
It
-
Allgl
ow.Shedoesn' thavetheglowthatl
adiesof
herki
ndhave.She' ssadandIt hi
nkit
'sbeyondt he
caraccident.
Sheacknowl
edgesmewithasmile.Idi
dn'teven
knowwewereinthesamehotel
.Irespondwi t
ha
nod,I
'
mt ooweaktosmi
leback.
“
Didhebot
heryouagai
n?”Busi
khayaasksher
.
“
No.
”
“
I'
m gl
adhegott
hemessage.
”
“Well
,Ican'
tbetoosur
e,he'
sveryarrogantandthe
factt
hathelostamil
li
onrandsdealandwi l
l
probabl
ylosemore,makesmethinkthisisfarf
rom
over.
”
Ther
e'sacert
ainlookthathegivesher
,theassur
ing
onethatNgcwethiusedtogiveme.
“
Not
hingi
sgoi
ngt
ohappenNt
obe,
”hesays.
Idi
dn'tevenknowNontobekoisshor
tenedasNtobe,
thi
sisinter
est
ing.I
tsoundsl
ikeshe'
sindangerof
somesor tandBusikhayaispl
ayi
ngaguar di
an
angel.I
'
m curioustoknowwhy.Shouldn'
twebe
angryatthiswoman?I twasamistakebutshest
il
l
hurtourNgcwet hi
.

“Soyou'r
efri
endswit
hhernow?”Iaskharshert
han
Iint
ended.Ihavemoodswingst
hesedays.
Hefocusesont
heroadandsaysnot
hingf
ora
coupl
eofminut
es.
“
Huh?
”-Me.
“
NoZanamuhl
a,wear
enotf
ri
ends.
”
I
tsurel
ydi
dn'
tlookt
hatwayt
ome,
he'
smaki
ngme
afool
.
“
Thechi
t-
chat?Andwhyi ssheinthesamehot
elas
me?Whyisshesti
llevenaround?
”Iask.
“
She'
ssor
ryaboutwhathappened,andNgcwet
hi
wast
heonewhocausedtheaccident.
”
Unbel
ievable!Ipl
ugheadsetsi
ntomyphoneand
pl
aythefirstsongonmypl ayl
ist
.Icannotl
ist
ent
o
hi
m anyf urt
her,i
t'
llt
urnugl
y.
Thedoctorwelcomesuswit
hasmi le.Ther
emight
besomei mprovement
s,he'
sneversmi l
edbef
ore,
i
nsteadhe'dl
ookatuswithpit
yandpl uguswit
h
hope.
“Thisway,
”heleadsusintoadiff
erentwar
d,nott
he
coldoneNgcwethihadbeenin.Wepassaf ew
doorsandtur
nt othel
eftpassage.
Ther eheis,wi
deawakeandst ari
ngattheent
rance.
Istandst i
llwi
thtearsrunni
ngdown.Hedoesn't
shiftorsayanything,he'
ssti
llweakbuthekeeps
thest ar
e.
“I
'
m sorr
y,”Isaybetweenthesobs.Hewoul dn'
tbe
herei
fIhadtrustedhi
m.Her i
skedeverythi
ngfor
meandIembar rassedhiminfrontofpeopl
e.
“
Iknewthatyou'
l
lpullt
hrough.You'
veal
waysbeen
afi
ght
er.
”-Busi
khaya.
Hetakeshiseyesof
fmeandlooksathisbrot
her.
I
'm notsur
eifhe'
sablet
ospeak,
hisreact
ionisabit
weird.
“I
njustafewdayswe'llgohomeandsort
ever
ythi
ngout,
”Busikhayaagai
n,st
il
lNgcwet
hi
doesn'
tsayanyt
hing.
“
Canhespeak?
”Iaskt
hedoct
orner
vousl
y.
“He'
ssuffer
ingf
rom si
nglei
ncidenttr
auma,he'
l
lbe
himsel
fsoon,wearegivi
nghim necessar
y
counsel
li
ng.”
“
Sohecan'
tspeak?
”Iask.
“
He'
snotment
all
y………….
”
“It
'snotsci
ent
if
icZanamuhl a,
”Busikhayacutshim
short.Hi
m andthedoctorsharealook.Idon'tthi
nk
thedoctori
shappyaboutt heint
erf
erence,he's
whi t
eandwon'tunder
standwhatNgcwet hir
eally
needs.
“
Pleaseexcuseus,wewanttohaveapri
vat
e
momentwi t
hhim,”Busi
khayadi
rect
stot
hedoct
or.
“
Don'tf
eedhi
m anyt
hing,
all
owmypat i
entt
o
r
ecoverMrMthembu.
”Hepickshi
sfi
lesandleaves.
Istandinfrontofhi
m andtouchhi
scheek.We
stareateachother,
hissouli
slost
,Ngcwethii
snot
t
her
einhi
seyes.
“
Howsooncanwet
akehi
m home?
”IaskBusi
khaya.
“Assoonasthedoctorsappr
ove.
”Thi si
snotthe
answerIwashopingfor,
Iwanttotalktohi
m and
tellhi
m howsor
ryIam.Iwanttotellhi
m howmuch
Ilovehim.
“I
'
llgi
veyout
wosomespace.”Hebrushes
Ngcwethi
'
sshoul
derandwal
ksout.
Ipul
ltheguest
'schai
randsit
.Hehasn’
ttakenhi
s
eyesoffme,Iwonderwhat
'sgoi
ngoninhismind.
“Ngcwethi
,I
'l
lneverleaveyoursideagain.Thishas
beenthemoststressfulweekofmyl i
f e,
Ithought
you'
dneverlookatmeagai n.Iwasscar edyou'ddi
e
andleaveme,”Isayholdinghischeek.Hisfaceis
holl
ow,theemptinessinhiseyesmat chesmyown.
“You'
regoi
ngtobefi
ne,
justhol
donaf
ewmor
e
daysandwe'l
lgohome,
”Isay.
“Icanact
ual
lyt
alkZanamuhl
a.Whyhaven'
tyou
beeneati
ng?
”
I
fIwasn'
tsi
tt
ingont
hechai
rIwoul
d'vef
aint
edand
dr
oppedonthef
loor
.What
'st
hef
uckbazal
wane?
Hecantal
k!!
!
“Butthedoctorsai
dyou'r
egoingthroughat rauma
thing.”I
'
m beyondshocked.EvenBusikhayathinks
hecannott al
k,what
'supwithwakingupwi thsilent
treatments?
“No,
I'
m goingthr
oughadisappoi
ntment
.Youl
ook
sobad,l
ikeyouhaven'
teat
eninages.
”
Oh,andhelooksgr
eat
?Eyebags,
drymout
hand
hol
lowface.
“That'
sveryr
ichcomi
ngfrom you.Theyshoul
dput
mirror
sinthi
swardsothatyoucanlookat
yoursel
f.
”
Helaughssil
entl
y,i
fhewasokayI
'm sur
ehe
would'
vecrackedonehi
sloud,
ugl
ylaughs.
“
Youhavef
orgi
venme?
”He'
sser
iousagai
n.
“
You'
ret
heonewho'
ssupposedt
ofor
giveme.
"
“
Forwhat
?”heasks.
“Ididn'
ttr
ustyou.Your
iskedever
ythi
ngf
ormeand
Iletyoudown.”
“Ir
eal
lyl
oveyouZanamuhla,thi
sisnotgoingt
obe
aneasyroadbutIneedyoutoholdontome.We
needtof
ightf
orus,theworl
dwilladj
ust.
”
Mazwakhei snotapartofthewor l
dthat'
sgoingto
adj
ust.Idon'tknowwhat’sgoingtohappenwhen
hefi
ndsout ,youcannotpredi
ctthatone,al
lIknow
i
sthatit’
ssti
llgoingt
obeugl y.
“
Iloveyou,
”hesaysagai
n.
“
Iloveyout
oo.
”

Busikhayawalksinfol
lowedbythatwoman.He
givesmeanapol ogeti
clookbef
orehetakesouta
chairforher
.
I'
m notmadanymor e.Thatwasmehavinga‘ t
ir
ed
gir
lf
riend’moment,
nowt hatmymanisactuall
y
awakeIt hi
nkthi
swomani soneofakind.She
could'vehi
thi
m andran.Nobodywoul
d'veknownit
washerandNgcwet hiwould'
vepr
obablydied.
“
Thisi
sNontobekoMaseko,
”Busikhayadoesthe
i
ntr
oduct
iont
oNgcwethiwhosti
llhashiseyeson
me.
“I
'mreal
lysor
ry,i
thappenedtooquickl
y,bef
oreI
knewityouwerelyi
ngont heroad……”
“
Wher e'
sthecar
?Isi
tdamaged?
”Ngcwet
hi
i
nter
ject
s.
Nont
obekoisjustshockedasIam.Hecaresabout
t
hecar?Itdoesn'tbr
eat
he.Hecoul
d'vedi
edandno
i
nsur
ancecould'verepl
acedhi
m.
“
No,
justaf
ewdi
ngsanddent
s,”shesays.
“
Busi
khayaf
ixi
t,
”-Ngcwet
hi.
Okaaaaaaay.Ineedtostepasideandseewhatl
ies
I'
m goi
ngtot el
lMazwakhe.It
'sbeenaweekandI '
m
surehe'
swor ri
edsickwhereheis.

Heanswer
sthephoneandkeepsqui
et.
He'
sangr
y.
“
Mbuyazi
,
”Isof
tenmyt
one.
“
Ndlovukazi
,towhatdoIowet
hispl
easur
eof
r
eceivi
ngaroyalcal
l?
”
That
'ssar
casm bur
iedi
nanger
.
“Myphonefel
landcr
ackedt
hescr
een.Ij
ustf
ixedi
t
now,
”Isay.
“
Don'
tli
eHl
ahl
a,j
ustt
ellmewhat
'sgoi
ngon.
”
No,
Icannott
ellhi
m.I
t'
snotagoodt
imeyet
.
“
Howar
eyou?
”Ichanget
hesubj
ect
.
“
Nott
hatyoucar
e,butI
'
m homesi
ck.
”
Hecannotbehomesi
ck,
it'
sbar
elybeen3weeks
si
ncehelef
thome.
“
AndI
'
m onmywayhome,
”headds.
Ineedar
ightspottofai
nton.He'
sgoinghome,t
hat
meanshe'
llwanttocometomyr esi
dencetosee
meandI'
m notthere.
“
Areyouser
ious?
”Iask.
“
Yes,
shoul
dIbr
ingyouanyt
hing?
”
“
No….
.Yes….
Justbr
inganyt
hingni
ce.
”
Fuck,t
hesituat
ionj
ustt
hickened.Howam Igoi
ng
togetoutofthi
s?Mazwakhewi l
lcomeher
ewi t
h
hi
sgunsblazinganddragmebackhome.Wi
ll
Ngcwet
hisurvivet
hat
?Heneedsmenexttohi
m.
.
.
Todaywear etaki
ngNgcwethihome.Busi
khaya
managedt oconvi
ncethedoctort
hathe'
l
lbein
goodhandsathome, he'
shir
edanur set
hat'
sgoi
ng
tol
ookafterhim.
Ihaven'tcomecleant
oMazwakhe,hethi
nksI'
m
busywi thassi
gnment
sandhehasn'tmadeany
vi
sitrequests.
Nontobekohadboughtever
ythi
ngforhi
mtouse
whenhewakesup.Cosmet i
cs,packedf
oodand
sl
eepingblanket
s.
Ipackallofitandtakeittothecar.I'
m notsure
Ngcwethiwilleveruseit,
thesearen'thi
sbrands
andIdon'tthinkhe'sthetypethatrandomlytake
stuf
ffr
om peopl e,butweneedt ocleanthe
cupboar
df ort henextpat
ient.
Busi
khayasi
gnst
hepaper
s,f
etchesmedi
cat
ion
f
rom t
hehospi
talphar
macyandwear
egoodt
ogo.
Acal
lcomest
hroughassoonasweset
tl
einsi
de
t
hecar.
Mazwakhe!
“
Whoi
sit
?”Busi
khayaasks.
Ican'tbel
ievehe'sbol
dlyenquir
ingaboutmy
personalcall
s,andhe'
sseriousl
ywaiti
ngforan
answer .
“
Mybr
other
,”Isay.
“Mmmmm. ”Hestart
st hecarandsaysnothi
ng
fur
ther.Iputmyar m aroundNgcwethi'
sshoulder
,
helooksatmewei r
dly.Hedoesn'tknowhow
desperateIam t
oshowhi mlove.Iwanttopamper
him andtreathi
ml i
keanegg.Hedeser vesthatand
more.

Well
,ther
e'sagoatthingheneedstodobef ore
ent
eri
nghishome.I '
m aknowngirlf
ri
endnow, I
makemywayt ohishousetoprepareforhisarr
ival
.
Busi
khaya’sspoi
lt
-bratcomestoquestion
everyt
hingIdo.Ihavenodoubtt
hatsheget
saway
witheveryt
hingshedoes.
“Whenareyougoingtoyourhome?”sheasksand
thequesti
onstabsst
rai
ghti
ntomyheart.Whenam
Ireal
lygoi
nghome?WhenNgcwet hiisokay?What
aboutschool
?
“
Hasanyoneevert
oldyout
oshutup?
”Iaskher
.
“
No,
”shesaysver
ybol
d.
“OkayI'
l
lbet
hef
ir
stonet
hen,
sitont
hecouchand
shutup.
”
“
Whati
fIdon'
t?
”
Ohwow!
“
Thennot
hing,
you'
reabadki
d,”Isay.
Honest
lyIwouldlovet
owhipherassj
ustal
it
tl
ebi
t.
Thi
sisGod'seart
h,nother
s.
Shegoest othecouchandsi
t.Shedoesn'tsay
anythi
ngandInear l
yaskwhyshe'squiet
,butI
rememberit'
swhatIaskedandIlovethis
peaceful
ness.
Mndeniwalksinwi
thalidburni
ngwi t
himpepho
anddisappear
sint
hatprivat
eroom.Thewhole
fami
lyfoll
owsandIfeel
likeanint
ruder.
“Sangol
et'
sgotot
hekitchen,
”It
urntot
hespoi
l-
brat
.Shejumpsof
fthecouchandrunst
othedoor.
It
'safancykit
chenwi t
htallcupboardsandgigant
ic
el
ectr
icstove,buti
t'
sstil
lbuil
trural
ly.Ther
e'sa
fi
repl
aceatthecentreandl ot
sofwat erbucket
s
l
inedbythewal l
.
Afterawhil
eMnothowalksinandt
ell
sme
everyt
hingi
ssor
ted.IbumpintoMaMbonambion
mywaybackandshesmi l
es.
“
Thankyou,
”shesays.
I'
m notsurewhatshe'
sthanki
ngmef
or,
Ijustsmi
le
andproceedtothehouse.
Busi
khaya,
Mndeni,Ngcwet
hiandanol
dmanIdon'
t
knowaregather
edaroundt
hetabl
e.
“
MaNgwanepleasesit
,”Busi
khayasays.I
fhecal
ls
mel
iket
hisIknowit
'sseri
ous.
“
Mnt
anami
,
”–t
heol
dman.
“
YeboBaba,
”Isay.
“Tomorrowwehavetogoandl etyourf
amilyknow
thatyou'
vebeenher
e.Iknowwehaven'tbeen
seeingeyet
oeyewiththem,butthi
sistheonly
way.”
Il
ookatBusi
khaya.Hewast herewhenMazwakhe
cal
led,
heknowsthatI
'm notreadyt
obreakt
he
newstohi
m.
“Youbeingherechangesever
ything.Wedon't
randomlybri
nggirl
shereandintr
oducethem toour
kids.YouandNgcwethihavetofaceyourreal
it
y,”
hesays.
Whyi
sever
ythi
nghappeni
ngsof
ast
???
.
.
Ngcwet hisl
epti
nhisprivater
oom andIslepti
nhi
s
bedroom withSango.She'saspoil
t-
bratt
hat
att
achespeople.I'
vefal
leninlovewit
hheras
handfulassheis.
I
twasast
ruggl
ewhenBusi
khayawokeherupf
or
school
.Hehadtopr
omiseherever
ythi
ngt
her
eis
oneart
hbefor
esheagr
eed.
“
Goodmor
ning.
”
He'
sfi
nal
lyawake.
Ihughim andpeckhisl
ips.I
t'
swei
rdt
omeaswel
l,
butInear
lylostt
hisman.
“
Howwasyourni
ght
?”Iask.
“
Besi
desbaddr
eams,
itwasokay.
”
“
Imi
ssedyou,
”Isay.
“Zano,
”hepullsmewi thhisl
eftarm andst ares
downonmel eani
ngonhi schest.“I
'm goingt obe
fi
neforyou.They'
llpaywhateveryourf amilywants
foryouandthen……..”Hepullsmeupf oraki ss,it
doesn'
tlastl
onghe'sstil
linpain.“
Andt henI '
m
goingtomakeyouhappyi neveryway,
”hesays.
“
Ever
yway?
”Iask.
“
Youdon'
tknowhowmuchIl
oveyouZanamuhl
a.”
“
Act
ual
ly,
Iknow.
”
Hesmi
les.
“
Youdo?
”
“
Ther
e'snot
hingmor
etopr
ove……”
Thedoorshi
ft
sandMndeni
'
svoi
cef
il
lsupt
he
house.
“
Atleastcl
osethedoor
,wear
eki
ds.
”He'
scar
ryi
ng
atr
ayofbreakf
ast.
“
Wedi
dandyoupushedi
t,
”-Ngcwet
hi.
“Ofcourseyoudidn'tgetthepointbecauseyou'
re
suff
eri
ngf r
om singl
ei nci
denttr
auma.Zol wandl
e
thi
sisbreakfast
,Icookedi twi
thlove.
”
Ican'
tbel
ievehe'
salr
eadyj
oki
ngaboutNgcwet
hi'
s
condi
ti
on.Anyway,br
eakf
astl
ookst
oogoodto
havebeencookedbyhim.

Myphoneri
ngshal
fwayt
hroughbr
eakf
ast
.It
's
Mazwakhe.
Idr
awahugebr
eat
hbef
oreanswer
ing.
“
Hlahl
ayouhaven'
tbeenat
tendi
ngclassest
he
whol
eweek.Wherethef
uckareyou?
”Her oar
s
t
hroughthephone'
sspeakersendi
ngachi
lldown
myspine.
“
Youwi
llgetanexpl
anat
ionl
ater
,”Isay.
“
No, answermenow.Yourr
oommat
essai
dyoul
eft
wit
haman. ”
Vuyi
swa!It
'sonlyherwhocoul
d'vedi
scl
osedso
muchinf
ormation.
“I
'm onmywayhome,
”IsayandNgcwethif
rowns.I
could'
vecameupwi
thabett
erl
ie,
Iguess.
“Ineedagoodexpl
anat
ionwhenyougether
e.”He
endsthecal
l.
“You'
l
lleavewit
hmyuncles,
”Ngcwet
hisaysas
soonasIputthephoneoffmyear
.
“
Hewant
smehomenow.
”
“
Thenl
etmet
ellBusi
khayat
ocal
lthem.
”
Thishappens,i
fagirlvi
sit
samanwi t
houtany
consentsheisaccompaniedbyabakhongiback
homei nthemorningandtheyapologi
sewithagoat
andsetthedatefornegoti
ati
ons.ButIdon'
tthi
nk
thi
swillbeacaseher e,
I'
m notj
ustanygirl
,I
'm
Mazwakhe'
ssi
sterandt
heMt hembusar
ethel
ast
peopl
ehe'
dmarryhissi
stert
o.
.
.
*
**THENGWANEHOMESTEAD*
**

Zandilei
sthefi
rstonetoseefourmenstandi
ng
belowherfat
her'
syar dwi
thawhi t
egoat
.She
rushesint
othekitchenwher
ehertwomot her
sare
cooking.
“
Wehaveguests,
”sheannouncesandrushest
othe
r
ondavelwher
eherbr
other
saregather
ed.
“
Ther
ear
epeopl
ewai
ti
ngout
sidewi
thagoat
.”
Theyfoll
owathert ail
,Mazwakheleadingthetr
io.
Whenheseeshi ssist
erst
andingnexttoBusikhaya
andtwoot herMthembumenhi sheartsi
nks.He
hadignoredthesesuspici
ons,hethoughtheknew
hi
ssisterbett
erbuthewaswr ong.
“
Mnqobokazi
!Masengasi
leke!
”onemanr eci
tes
t
hei
rcl
annamesandkneel sinfr
ontoft
hem.
“Wear eheretoseekfor
givenessonbehalfofour
sonf orkeepingyourdaughter,uMaNgwaneomuhl e
njengezihlabat
hizol
wandle.”Mndenipushesthe
goatf orwardandthemanhol dsitdownwi t
hit
s
horns.
“
SizogezaamagcekeakoNgwane.
”
Heavysi
lence.
“Andwear eheretoaskherhandi nmarriage,
”
BusikhayaaddsandZanamuhl agaspsinshock.
SheknewwhatherandNgcwet hihavei
sser i
ous,
butshehadhopedt hatshewouldhaveamoment
toletMazwakhedi gestever
ythi
ng.It
'st
oomucht o
j
ustdr opi
tallatonce.
“
Zanamuhl
a!”Mazwakhebr
eakshi
ssi
lence.
Shecannotl
ookathimintheeyes.Hest
eps
towar
dsherandgrabsherbyarm.
“
Benzanil
abaozavol
ola?
”
MndenipushesBusikhayabackbef
oreher eact
s.
TheypromisedNgcwethithatt
heywil
lbehaveand
humblethemsel
ves.
“
Therewasami sunderst
andi
ng,Ngcwethiloves
me,”–Zanamuhla.Hisgri
pti
ghtensar
oundher
wri
standheshootsadeadstareatBusikhaya.
“Pleasedon'
tst
artmeBusikhaya.”Hedragshis
sisteri
nsi
detheyar
danddi sappearswi
thherinsi
de
thehouse.Ever
yonefol
lowbehindthem, l
eavi
ngthe
Mt hembusunatt
ended.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

Hethr
owsmeonbedandshutsthedoor.Hecan'
t
hi
tme,I'
mtoool
dfort
hatt
ypeofdisci
pli
ne.
“
Areyououtofyourmi
ndZanamuhl
a?”
“
It
'st
het
rut
h,hel
ovesme,
”Isay.
“
Tohel lwi
tht
hat.Youdon'
tknowwhatl
ovei
sand
I
'm notgoi
ngtoall
owthoseidi
otst
otur
nyoui
ntoa
wif
e.”
“
Whati
fIwantt
obeone?
”Iask.
“You'
dhavet
owor kwit
hthem andkil
lmefi
rst
.”He
l
ooksatmyhand,Ihavethest
ringbackon,
he
shakeshi
shead.
“YounevergrewupHl ahl
a.Listen,you'l
lgobackto
coll
egeMondayandcompl eteyourqual i
fi
cati
on.
Aftert
hatyou'l
lfi
ndajobandaf f
ordtobuyanyt hi
ng
youwant .Youwon'tbedeceivedwi t
hcheap
cell
phonesandcr azyt
hingoats.”Hesnat chesthe
phonefrom myhand, walksoutandl ocksmei nsi
de.
Iexpect
edhi
mt obeangr
y,butt
olockmei
nthe
houseli
keapri
soner
!He'
slosi
ngit
.
Ilookontopoft hecupboar
dandseeaboxofnew
Samsungcel l
phoneandabagofgoodies.Iknow
heboughtalltheseformebutIcan'
tbr
ingmyselft
o
touchanyofitbecauseIknowhehatesmer i
ght
now.
Ihavenophone,Idon'
tknowwhathappened
outsi
debutIdon'
tthi
nktheyall
owedtheMt hembus
i
n.Thatwil
lbreakNgcwethi
,Ihopehewillbestrong
forme,I
’
m goingtofi
ndmywaybackt ohim soon.
I'
m wokenupbyt hedoorshif
ti
ng, Idon'
tevenknow
whenIfel
lasleep.Mazwakhewal ksinandsitswit
h
hisbackt
urnedonme.Thedoori snotclosed,I
haveachancet oleavebuthi
sstatebreaksme.
“
Whyareyoudoingthi
s?”He'
scal
m,hi
svoi
cei
s
r
oughandseasonedwit
hhurt
.
“HelovesmeMazwakhe, hesacri
fi
cedeveryt
hing
forme,heevensealedt
heroadcontractbehi
ndhis
brot
hersbacktoprovehi
sloveforme,”Isay.
“
Whataboutourpar
ents?Whydidn'
thepr
ovehi
s
l
ovef
oryoubynotkil
li
ngourfat
her?”
Icouldr
emindhi
mthatheki
ll
edthei
rsfi
rstbuthe
wil
lremi
ndmeofourmother
'sdeathandI'
llhave
nocomeback.
Het
urnstof
aceme.Myheartsinksdowntomy
f
eet
,he'
sbeencr
ying.Mybr
othernevercr
iesno
mat
terhowbadt
hingsar
e.
“Iwantnot
hingtodowiththatf
amily.Notthei
r
stupi
dapology,
notthei
rmoneyandnott heircows.
Butyou'
reanadultnow,Ican'
tkeepyouher e
becauseyoudon'tshar
emysent i
ments.”
Irai
semyeyebr
ows.I
shesayi
ngwhatIt
hinkhe'
s
sayi
ng?
“Iboughtyouthatphone, yousaidtheol donewas
damaged.Tomor r
owyou' l
ldecidewhichj ourney
youwantt otake.Youcangol ivethelifeyout hi
nk
youhavewi t
hNgcwet hi
.Wewon' tbei nvolvedin
that,
ifyouwantt omar r
yhim youcangot oHome
Affai
rsandpayR75f orthecerti
fi
cate.Oryoucan
gobackt ocoll
ege,carryonwi t
hyourst udiesand
dropthiswholeNgcwet hithi
ngasIhumbl yask
you.”
Ican'
tbeli
evehe'
smaki
ngmechoosebet
ween
Ngcwethiandmyfamil
y.
“You'
redi
sowni
ngme?
”Iaskwi
tht
ear
srunni
ng
downmycheeks.
“Iwon'
tinvolvemyselfwi
ththeMthembusunder
anycir
cumst ances,
ifyoubecomeoneofthem I'
ll
havetoletyougoaswel l
.Goodluckinwhatever
youdecideonHl ahl
a.”Hewalksoutandl
eaves.
HowdoIchoosebet
weenmybl
oodbr
otherandt
he
manIl
ove?
[
11/
19,
09:
45] :Chapt
er12

ZANAMUHLA

Busikhayaisst
andi
ngabovethekraal,Ididn't
expectanyonetobeupsoearlyinthemor ning,i
t'
s
just5:
10am.Heseesmeandst opswhat everhe
wasdoi ng.Hel
ooksshockedorfri
ghtened,Idon't
know.
Imakemywayt oNgcwethi'
shouse,accompanied
byBusi
khaya’
sheavystar
e.Iknockatthedoor,
it'
s
aver
ycoldmorningandIhopeheopens
i
mmediatel
y.
Ihavelefteverythi
ngbehind.Mazwakhemi ght
neverspeakt omeagain, Ihavechosenanenemy
overmyf ami l
y.IknowI'
vemadet herightdecisi
on
butthere'
sahugeempt yspacei nmyhear t.Iwant
tobreakdownandcr y,
butt henagai nmyhear thas
chosenhi m,meandmybr otheraredest i
nedto
dif
ferentl
ives.Onedayhe' l
lfindawi feandmake
hisownf amily,wearesibli
ngs, notl
ifepartners.
Thedooropens.He'sshockedtof
indmest
andi
ng
wit
hmybagsont hedoorstep.
“
Zano.
”Hepushest
hedoorwi
dert
oletmei
n.
Idropmybagont opofthebedandst
andwi t
hmy
armscrossed.Ilookar
ound.Thi
siswhatIchoose.
Allt
his,
privater
ooms,amanwhosel i
fedependson
theancestorsandimpepho,myfat
her
'ski
ll
ers.I
chooseit.
“Ididn'
texpectyou. ”Hepullsanext
rapill
owand
throwsitonbedt henstandsinfr
ontofme.He's
stari
ngatme, searchi
ngf orsomet
hing.Ithi
nkhe
fi
ndsi tbecauseheexhal esindeepfrust
rati
onand
asksmet ogetonbed.
“
Whathappened?
”heasks.
“Iwasmadet
ochoosebet
weenmyf
ami
lyand
you.
”
Hedoesn'tsayanyt
hing,hi
sarmisar
oundmebut
he'
sstar
ingattheceil
ingwit
hhisj
awsclenched.
“Mazwakhewant
snot
hingt
owithyou.Hesaidwe
canonl
ygetmarri
edi
ncour
t,t
here'
l
lneverbeany
sol
idr
elat
ionshi
pbet
weent
het
wof
ami
li
es.
”
“That'
snotpossibleZano,
youknowIhavetodo
everyt
hingri
ght.It
'si
mportantt
hatIr
ight
ful
lymake
youapar tofmylife,
”hesays.
“Hewon'tchangehi
smi
nd,
that
'smybr
other
,I
knowhim.”
Icanfeelhi
sbreat
hsdeepeni
ng,hi
schesti
s
bouncingupanddown,thear
m hehadaroundme
l
eaves.
Il
ookathi
seyes,
theyhavet
ransf
ormedi
ntoa
monst
er'
s.
“
Ngcwet
hi,
”Ical
landhi
thi
schestl
ight
ly.
“
Pleasegot
othemai
nhouse.
”
What?Ij
ustgother
e,t
heleasthecoul
ddoiscuddl
e
meupandcomf ort
sme.Ijustl
eftmyfami
ly
f
or………..
.
Hesneezesl
oudlyandal
mosthi
tshi
sinj
uredhead
ont
heheadboard.
“Hhaaaaaaayi
!”Thescream f
oll
owsanothersneeze.
Thisti
mehenear lyr
oll
soffbedanddropsont he
fl
oor
.Itt
akesonl
yfi
vest
epsformetoreachthe
door
,Idashoutwi
thmyhear
tpoundi
nglikeadrum.
Whatdi dIgetmysel finto?Outofal lt
imeshis
“abadala"could'
vevisitedhimt heychosetheti
meI
neededhi mthemost .Ijustgothereforcr
yingout
l
oud, andI'm alr
eadywaki ngpeopl eupwithknocks.
“Whoisthat
?”MaMbonambi
’
svoi
ceanswer
sthe
knock.
“
It
'sZanamuhl
a.”
Thedoorswingsopenwithi
naminut
e.Sheseesthe
scaredl
ookonmyf aceandpul
lsmeint
otheli
ving
room.
Fi
veminut
esl
atershe'
sbackwi
thacupofhott
ea,
st
ari
ngatme.
“It'
shisnormalli
fe,
”shesaysaf t
erhear
ingwhat
freakedmeout .Thefactt
hatshement i
onedthe
wor d‘normal’
todescri
bewhatIwi t
nessedpuzzl
es
me.Thatcan' tbenormal,
thelookonhisfaceand
thet r
ansfor
mat i
onofhiseyes,hebecame
somet hingIdon'
tknow.
“
Wil
liteverst
op?
”Iask.
Shechuckl
esandshakesherhead.
“See,
Mabandl ai
sgift
ed,hecanconnectand
communicatewiththeancest
ors.Theyhaveno
ti
ming,i
ftheyhaveamessagef orhimthey'
l
lcome
evenatmidnight
.”
Iknewt hat
,buttheprocessofitscarestheshitout
ofme.Whati fit
’sreal
lyatmidnightandI'm asl
eep?
Hel ookeddemonicandIdoubtI 'dsurvi
vethat
presenceatnight.
“Ihear
dyou'reincol
lege.
”Itsoundsli
keshewants
mor ei
nfor
mat i
onaboutitandI'mjustnoti
nthe
stat
etonarratemyli
festory.
“You'
llhavet
ogobackandcontinuewithyour
studi
es.Yourbr
otherwoul
dlovethat
.”
Urgh!Shedoesn'
tunder
stand,
Mazwakhemeans
everywordhespi
tsoutofhismout
h.
“We'l
ldoever
ythi
ngi
nourpowertowinhi
sheart
.
You'r
enotherebymi
stake,
soonhe’
l
lunderst
and
that
.”
If
ocusonthetea.Idon'
twantt
ocr
yinf
rontofher
.
Il
eftmynormalli
fefort
his.

Breakfasti
scookedbyMndeni .Yes,hecancook.I
underesti
mat edhi
m.Mnot hosetsthetable.I
’m
quit
esur pr
ised,maybeit
'sbecausetheirmother
doesn'thaveagirlchi
ld,
myownbr ot
her sdon'
t
evenknowhowt oboilanegg.
Ngcwet
hiwalksinandtheatmospher
echanges
i
mmediatel
y.Idi
dn'tgobackinhi
shouse,Idon'
t
knowwhenhisepisodesendedandIhaveno
cour
agetobearoundhim anyt
imesoon.
Mnothomovest
oanot
herchai
r,Ngcwethit
akesthe
onenextt
omeandIsi
twit
hmybr eathheldup.
“Idon'
twanttea,
”thel
itt
levoi
cehail
sinfr
om a
dist
ancecausingever
yoneont het
ablet
osmil
e.
“
It
'sokayMaJamayou'
l
lhaveyourj
uice,
”-Mnot
ho.
Ican'
tbel
ieveshehadt oscr
eam thatbef
oreshe
gottot
het abl
e.Busi
khayapull
sthechairforher
andsit
snexttoher.Hishumblesonjoinsquiet
ly
andsi
tsnextt
oMaMbonambi
.
“
Godblessourfood,
Amen.
”Mndenisayswi
thhi
s
mout
hfullofbr
ead.
“Amen!
”Mnot hor eachesf ort
heteapotandpours
hotwateri
ntohiscup.Idon' tpraybutIknowthat
whenpeopledot heycl osethei
reyesandeatonly
whentheprayerfinishes.
Theydon'tdi
sh,youtaketheplat
eandser ve
your
self
.Surpri
singl
yIfeelathome, Igr
abtheplate
andfi
lli
twithbreadsli
cesandapi eceofeveryt
hing.
Ever
yoneiseat
ing,exceptt
hepersonnexttome.I
hopehe'
snotexpectingmetoservehi
m, Imean
ever
yone,
eventhekids,ser
vedthemselves.
“Whyar
eyounoteat
ing?
”Iask,
sti
llnotl
ooki
ngat
him.
Hedoesn'
trespond.Ihavet
otur
nmyhead,he'
s
st
ari
ngatme, Idon'
tknowhowlonghe’
sbeenati
t.
“
Whyar
eyounoteat
ing?
”Ir
epeat
.
Hesl
owl yopensamet
albowl
,dishesoutporr
idge
andmixesitwit
hbr
ownsugarandmi l
k.Il
ikethat
thi
sfamil
yactual
lymindthei
rownbusi
nessandI
canstudywhat'
sbother
ingthismanwi
thout
grabbi
ngunnecessar
yattent
ion.
“
What
'swr
ong?
”Ikeepmyvoi
cel
ow.
“Ngiyakut
handaZanamuhla.
”Hedoesn'
tmatchmy
tone,hesaysthatsof
reaki
n’l
oudever
yone'
s
attent
iontur
nstous.
Itr
ytoputmyfocusonthefoodbutIcanf
eelt
hei
r
eyespi
erci
ngmyf or
ehead.
“
Uyezwa?
”Lor
d!Hedoesn'
tgeti
t,I
'
m shyokay.
Iknowthathelovesme,whydoesheneedt
otel
l
mei nf
rontofallt
hesepeopl
e.
“
Uyezwayini
?Uthiuyakut
handa,”Mndeniseesi
tfi
t
t
ojumpin.Tel
lme,whydidn'tpolonyki
llhi
m?
“Okay,
”Isayaftercleari
ngmythr
oat
.Ofcoursei
t'
s
notaweirdsit
uationenough,
Mndeniact
uall
ywants
afullr
esponsetot hat.
“
Tel
lhi
m youl
ovehi
mtoo,
”hesays.
Someonegi
ggl
es.Iwantt
odi
e.
Ifor
cemyf aceupandl ookatNgcwethi
.Idon'
t
thi
nkhewant edaresponseasMndeniputsit,
he'
s
nowf ocusedonhi sporri
dgeli
kehedidn'
tbri
ng
awkwar dnesstothetableaminuteago.
“You'l
lpayf
orthi
s,”Iwhi
sper
,hesmirks.I
diot
!Then
Iloudl
yconfor
mt oMndeni'
sorder
,“Il
oveyout oo.
”
Appl
ause?Real
ly!
“
I'
m sohappyf
oryoumyson,
youchosever
ywel
l
.”
“
ThanksMaMbonambi
,It
ri
ed.
”
Idon'
tunderstandwhyhealwayscal
lsherso
for
mally,
itshouldbe‘
Ma'……andhetr
ied?What
doesthatmean?Hewentallthewayout.

Everyoneleaves.Ki
dsgot oschool,
thebrot
hers
l
eavef orworkandMaMbonambihast ogo
somewher e.Soit'
sjustmeandhi m.Somethi
ngis
botheri
nghim, hehasn'tbeenhi
mselfsi
nceIarri
ved.
Hewalksi
nandsitsattheedgeofbed.Iwai
tfor
himt
ospeak,
I'veaskedwhat'
swronganumberof
ti
mesandheisn'
topeningup.
“
Ineedt
oaskyousomet
hingZano,
”hesaysaf
tera
moment
.
Ipushthepi
ll
owandl
eanoni
tagai
nstt
he
headboar
d.
“Haveyoubeensexual
lyi
nvol
vedwi
thaman
befor
e?”
Okaythi
smakesmeuncomf ort
able,i
t'snotthe
quest
ionIexpect
ed.I
'
m 23year
soldf orcryi
ngout
l
oud,heshouldputpi
ecest
ogether.
“Whyareyouaski ngmet hisNgcwet hi?Wereyou
l
ookingforavirgin?
”I'm angr y,shoul
dIr eal
lybe?
It
'snotasint
hatIsl eptwi t
haguy…. .
Imean,
accordi
ngtothenewt estament .I'
m sureeditor
s
havedonetheirjobsaccur atelythi
stime.
“
Justanswerme,i
t'
sasimpl
eyesorno.”He'
s
wor
kedupbuthisvoicer
emai
nsundersuper
visi
on.
“
Yes,
I'
m notavi
rgi
n.Sor
ry.
”
Si
lence.
Thisisunbel
ievabl
e.Heshould'
vewait
edfort
he
yearl
yreeddanceandgopi ckavir
ginofhi
sli
king.
“I
'
m goingt
oaskyoutodosomet
hing,
pleasedon'
t
beoff
ended,
”hesays.
Wel
l,
I'
m al
readyof
fended.
“
I'
mli
steni
ng,
”Isay.
“
Inthebat
hroom t
her
e'sadi
shofwat
er,
pleasego
t
akeabath.
”
Ibursti
nt oalaugh.I
'
veneverbeeninsult
edlikethi
s
i
nmyl i
fe.ImustbathbecauseIsl
eptwi t
haguy
fi
veyear sago.I'
vebeenbathi
ngeveryday,t
hat's
over1800days.
“
Am Ismell
ing?
”Myegoi sbr
uisedbeyond
r
ecogni
ti
on,Iwil
lneedanewone.
“
NoZano,
”hesaysr
egr
etf
ull
y.
Deepbreat
hZano,
biggi
rlsdon'
tcry.It
akeoutmy
t
oil
etr
ybagandheadtothebathr
oom.
Andthen?Whatki ndofwateri
st hi
s?I
t'
sbl
uein
col
our,ther
e'si
mpephosoakedi nsi
deit
.Godknows
whatelsewasmi xedhere.
“Iwantnormalbat
hwat
er.
”Iwalkbacki
nsi
dethe
bedroom wit
hmybagcl
utchedundert
hearm.
“Zanoyou'vebeensexuallyinvolvedwi thsomeone.
Iunderstandsexasaspi ri
tualdeed,that '
swhyi t
result
sintoasoul.I
'm notdoingt hi
sf orfun, you
needt obecleanbeforeyouandI ……”Hest ops.He's
takenittoofar
.Iwalkbackt othebat hroom wi th
tearsrunningdown.Itcan'
tbet hathehasnever
sleptwithawomanbef or
e,didhebat hever yti
me?
Not hi
ngcould'
vepreparedmef orthi
sj udgment al
sideofhim.

Iwanttogobacktocol
lege.Ihavenoonetotur
nto
here.I
'
vebeencryi
ngsil
entl
ythewholedayandI
havenobodytot
alkto.
I
t'
slate,MaMbonambisentdi nnermessageandI
t
oldSangot otel
lherthatI '
m nothungr
y.Icanhear
j
oyfulloudconversati
onsandf orthefi
rstti
meIf eel
l
ost.I
'm nothome, Idon'thaveoneanymor e,and
t
hemanIcamet ohast urnedtobesomet hingel
se.
“
Zol
wandl
e,
”thevoi
cesnapsmeoutofmyt
hought
s.
Hewal
ksi
nandst
andsbyt
hewi
ndow.
“
Whathappened?
”Hi
svoi
cei
stender
,itsoot
hesmy
bl
eedingheartandIalmostspil
leverythi
ngout.But
IrememberthatheisNgcwethi'
sbr otherandIcan'
t
openupaboutwhatr eal
lyhappened.
“Idon'tknowwhathedi dbutmybr ot
herlovesyou
Zolwandle.Somet hi
ngsmaybeal i
tt
lebitst
range
foryout ounder
stand,weallf
eell
ikethatatti
mes,
he'sjustwhoheis.”
Inodmyhead.That
'sal
lIcangi
vehi
m.
“
Thankyou.
”Hewal
ksout
.
Idon'tknowwhathe'
sthanki
ngmef
or,
maybei
t'
s
thefamil
yver
se.

Heputssomethi
ngont hest
andnexttobed,t
here'
s
somemovement sbef
orehesli
desontobed.He
keepsspacebet
weenuswhichi sar
eli
ef,
ifi
twas
uptomehewoul d'
vegonetosleepi
nhispri
vate
room.
“
PleasegetupandeatZano.
”
Iremainqui
et.Whydi
dn'
tIj
ustf
allasl
eeponceand
foral
l?
Thematt
ressmoves,af
teraminut
ehe'
sinf
rontof
mewit
hapl at
eoffoodandspoon.
“Pl
easeopenyourmouth.
”Heputstheful
lspoon
bel
owmyl ipsandIt
urntotheot
hersi
de.
Ihearhi
m si
ghheavi
ly.
Heputsthepl
ateawayandgetsbackonbed.Iwish
hecanturnof
fthel
ight
sbutI'
mt ooproudt
oask.I
cl
osemyeyesandt r
ytodrawsleepundert
heli
ght.
“DoIhavetogounderECGmachinef
oryout
osee
howdiff
erentyoumakemyhear
tbeats?
”
Ii
gnor
ehi
m andkeepmyeyesshut
.
“I
fIwrongedyoui
nanywaypl
easef
orgi
veme,
”he
says.
Onceitst
artswith‘
If
’that
'snolongeranapologyto
me.Apologizi
ngisacknowledgi
ngyourwr ongsand
t
akingful
lresponsi
bil
it
yforthem.‘I
f'doesn'
tdothat
forme.
Ifeelhisarmswrappingaroundme,
it'
stoolat
efor
met oshiftawayhehaspinnedmeonhi schest
,
he’sbreathi
ngheavi
lyovermyhead.
“Areyoudisappoint
ed?”Ihadnointenti
onsof
askingthi
s,wordsjustsl
ippedoutbefor
eIcoul
d
controlmytongue.
“NoZano.Itwasneveraboutyourbody,whati
t’
s
beenthroughisnotwhatdefi
nesyout ome.I
thoughtyouknewhowmuchyoumeant ome,how
deepismyl oveforyouandthatI'
dneverdo
somethingtoint
enti
onall
yhurtyou.”
“Butyoudid.Youmademebat hwit
hsalt
sand
f
uckin’her
bsbecauseI'
vebeensexual
lyi
nvol
ved
withsomeoneinthepast
.You'
resojudgment
al
Ngcwethi,
getofft
hathol
yhorse,
”Isay.
“
That
'snotwhatIwas……….
…”
“
Justst
op,
yourvoi
cei
rr
it
atesme.
”
Theli
ghtstur
nof f
.Heavysil
encefal
lsi
ntot
heroom.
DidIgotoofar?Icanfeel
himtryi
ngtocont
rolhi
s
breat
hinthedark.
NowIwantt heli
ghtstobeon.Ineedt oseehisface.
Thi
sisnotmet ypicall
ynott
rusti
nghisexplanat
ion,
Iwasinsul
tedbyhi sacti
onandheneedst o
under
standthi
ngsf rom myperspect
ive.
“Youcould'
veatleastwait
edformet
osett
lei
nthi
s
newli
febeforeyouimposedyourbel
ief
sonme,”I
sayhopingtocoolthingsdownabi
t.
“OkayZanamuhl a,I'
m sor
ry.
”He'sput
ti
ngthe
conversati
ontoanend.Iknowt hathedoesn'
tli
ke
defendinghimselfverymuch.
Isnugglemyselfonhischestandputmyarms
aroundhiswaist.Hedoesn'
tholdmeback,
Iguess
wej usthadourhundredt
hfight
.
“
IchoseyouNgcwet
hi,
Iloveyou,
”Isay.
Si
lence.
Ihavet
otr
yhar
der
,menar
esuchbi
gbabi
es.
“Iwantedyout oholdme, tot
ellmethatthi
ngsare
goingtobeokay, buti
nsteadyouhadyour
MOMENTandsoonaf terthatyoumademebat h
for
……okayl et
'sleavei
t.IloveyouandI'm sor
ryfor
thetoneIusedt oaddresstheissue.
”
Iwin,hi
sar
mswr apar
oundmeandhi
sbody
rel
axesonmine.
“
I'
m sor
ryIwasn'
tsowel
comi
ng,
unf
ort
unat
elymy
MOMENTSdon' thaveat
imet
abl
e.”Itdoesn'
tsound
l
ikehel
ikesthenameIusedt
odefinewhateveri
tis
t
hathappenstohim.
“
Butyoucoul
d'vewai
tedforanotherti
met ocl
eanse
what
everspi
ri
tsyout
hinkIcarr
ied,”Isay.
“YouchosemeZanoandyou'rehereli
vingwit
hme.
Ihadtopreparej
usti
ncasesomethinghappens
betweenus.”
Real
ly?He'
str
avel
li
ngonhi
ghspeednow.
“
Nothingi
sgoi
ngtohappenbetweenus,I
'm
r
etur
ningt
ocol
legei
naf ewdays,
”Isay.
“Whatdoyoumeannothi
ngisgoi
ngtohappen?”
Hisl
ipssof
tl
ypressonmyback.If
eelhi
stongue
sweepi
ngbehindmyearl
obeandwhimper.
“
Thesexualst
uff
.”
“Yousoundsosure.Why?”Hedoesthetongue
thi
ngagainwhil
ehishandsbreakmytopopen.I
adjustmybodybuthi
slegpinsmylowerparton
bed.
“
BecauseIdon'
tli
kesex,
”Iwhi
spert
hrought
ingl
es
hi
stonguegi
vesmyneck.
“
Whatdoyoul ike?”Hi
sthumbi srubbi
ngagainst
mynipple.Idon'tknowwhymybodyi sreacti
ngthi
s
way.Everypartofmej ustcravef
orhistouch.I
wanthimt otouchmeal lover.
“Mmm? ??
”BeforeIcanthi
nkofananswerhehas
myl i
psfull
yinsi
dehismout h.Hishandhaslowered
tomypant y,he'
ssearchi
ngf ort
hewayi n.Hefai
ls
todoitonehandedlyandbreakst hekiss.He
undressesme, l
eavi
ngmecompl etel
ynakedand
thenheswi t
chestheli
ghtson.
Ipullupthecoversbuthe'stooqui
ck.Hetakes
them awayandt hrowsthem onthefl
oor
.Ihaveno
wher et
ohide,nothingtocovermynakedbodywit
h,
andhe'sstar
ingatmybodywhi chmakesmeeven
moreuncomf ort
abl e.
“You'r
ebeauti
fulZano.
”Hel
eansover
,pl
ant
sa
quickkissonmyt hi
ghandt
akeshi
sclot
hesof
f.
No,
Idon'
tli
keseei
nganakedman.
“Whyar
eyounotlooki
ngatyourman?Howwoul
d
youi
denti
fymybodyifIdi
e?”
Heknowshowt okillone'
smood.I'
mlyi
nghere,
wit
hmoisturebetweenmyt hi
ghsandhe'
sbri
nging
deat
hint
ot hecozyatmosphere.
Heki ssesmeagain,thi
stimehishandsar erunni
ng
allovermybody.Themomenti sheatedup,he's
getti
ngneedywiththekiss,hi
sfingersarenow
focusedonmycooki e,rubbi
ngalloverit
.I'
m wet
andI '
vemental
lypreparedmyselfforwhatever
comesnext .
“Zano,
”he'
swhisperi
ngonmyear
,andthatal
one
steamsmybody.“Iwon'
tbel
ong,
pleaseopen
MaNgwanef orme.”
There'
savei npulsati
ngonhi sforehead,hi
seyes
arealmostshutandt eary.Justl
ikethatIopenmy
l
egsf orhim.Idon'tknowwher ehegr abbedthe
condom, i
t'
sinwithinami nuteandhe' sposi
ti
oning
himselfbetweenmyt highs.
Hemumbl essomethingwhenhi sshaftfi
nal
ly
sli
desinfull
y.Idon'
tknowwhatIl ikemorebetween
hispassi
onate,powerfulst
rokesandhi sl
owmoans
thatr
umbl eoutofhischesthelpl
essly.
“Zanamuhla,
”hewhisper
sinacryvoi
ce.I'
m moving
upmywai sttomeethist
hrust
s.We'
rejustpar
tners
madef r
om sexl
and.
“Icannothandlethepainofbei
nglef
tbyyou.
Pleasedon'teverleaveme,
”hesays.
Insecuri
tiesreall
ysoundnicedur i
ngsex.I nfact
they'
resuchat urn-
on.Hemanagest ochangemy
viewsaboutsex.NowIunder standwhyhal fof
SouthAf ricaisnotgoi
nganywher eneart hepearly
gates.Ijustneededsomeonet ohi ttheri
ghtspots,
that'
sallittookformetojointhebl ackbookof
sinnerswhoneverver if
iedthei
rsexualsins.
“Whyareyousmi
li
ng?
”heaskssl
idi
ngonbedaf
ter
cl
eani
ngup.
“Nothi
ng,Iloveyou.
”Idiganot
herful
lspoonand
throwiti
nsidemymout h.Whoevercookedt
his
dinnerdeservesanappear
anceoncookchannels.
.
.
MaMbonambii
sonherendl
esst
ri
psagai
n.They
sayshe'
ssort
ingsomethi
ngwithMrMthembu'
s
l
awyerinoneofthei
nsurancecompani
es.
Idon'tknowwhocookedbreakf
asttoday.I
tlooks
greatasusual
,butapar
tofmef eel
sbadeven
thoughIknowI'
m notal
lowedinthekit
chenyet.
Itl
ooksl i
keNgcwethiandIneededasteamy
sessiont or
econnectagai
n.He'sver
ycli
ngythi
s
morning, hi
shandneverleavesmineandhe'
son
myt ailever
ywhereIgo.
Thecarcomestofetcht
hekidsforschool
.
Ever
yoneelsegetr
eadyforworkwhilemeand
Ngcwethicuddl
eonthecouch.

Ther
e'sanangryvoiceoutside.They'ret
oughguysI
di
dn'
texpecttoseethisfearont heirf
aces.Even
Ngcwethihastakenhi
sar msof fme, he'
snow
st
andingnextt
ohi sbrot
hers,theireyesareallout
.
“Ihavenothing!Yourcat
tl
elef
tmygardenwhite
anddry.”It
'sawomanandshe' sspi
tt
ingfi
re.They
l
ookevenmor escaredwhenshepushesthedoor
andenters.
“Mychil
dren’
sfood!Whatdi
dIdotodeser
ve
nei
ghboursli
keyou?Thisi
sthet
hir
dti
me.”
Theyst
andt
oget
herl
iker
ainedchi
ckens.
“
Whatar
emychi
ldr
engoi
ngt
oeat
?”
Theyt
urnandl
ookatme.
Theygott
obeki
ddi
ngme!I
'
m notget
ti
ngi
nvol
ved
i
nthis.
“
I'
m aski
ng!
”Hervoi
cegoesup.Mnot
hoj
umpsabi
t.
“Mawedi dn'
t…….
”Hedoesn'
tknowwhattosay,
he
stopsandlooksatmewit
hhiseyesbeggi
ngmet o
makeami racl
e.
“Al
lmycropsaregone.
”Nowshe'
slooki
ngatme.
TheyhaveshowedherthatI
'
mtheonewhohave
answer
s.
Idon'
tli
veinsi
dethecows’heads,Idon'
tknowwhy
theyat
ehercrops.I
'm notacat
tl
e’
sspokesperson
andI'
mt echni
cal
lynotafamil
ymember .
Il
etoutadeepbr
eat
hbef
oreIapol
ogi
zet
oher
.
“
Wear
ever
ysor
ryMa,
itwon'
thappenagai
n.”
“
Yesitwon'
tbecausenowIhavenot
hing.
”She
t
hrowsherhandsupandtur
nstothedoor.
Ihearsi
ghsast
hedoorcl
osesaf
terher
.
[
11/
19,
09:
45] :Chapt
erThi
rt
een

ZANAMUHLA

I'
m notr eadyt ol
eave,nei
theri
she,butmy
educationcomesf i
rst
.Ihavetogobacktocol
lege,
atleastI'l
lleaveknowingthathe'
sokay.
“Whyar eyoul eavi
ng? ”Justaf ewdaysbackshe
wasaski ngwhenIwasgoi ngbackt omyhome, and
todayshe' sswal l
owedi nmiser ybecauseofmy
departure.It'
sneedlesst osayI 'l
lmissherandal l
thedramashecomeswi th.Gr owingupIwasl onely,
Ialwayswi shedtherewasagi rlyoungerthanmet o
playwi t
h, alit
tl
esisterfrom mymot her
'swomb.But
thatdidn’thappen, myf atherwashar dl
yinmy
mot her'
sr oom, Idon'tthinktheywer estil
linti
mat e.
Beingwi thSango, reprimandi ngherandl isteni
ngt o
herchil
dishstori
esmademef eell
ikeabi gsisterI
hadwant edtobe, exceptthather
eI '
m Mam' Zano.
It
'sti
met oacceptgr owingupasapar tofli
fe,I'
m
alr
eadybeingr ef
erredtoasMama!
“I
'm notl
eavi
ngforever
,Iwi
llbevi
sit
ingyouever
y
chanceIget,
”Isay.
“Noyouwon'
t,”shesnapsangri
ly.Il
ookatherand
seetear
sgl
it
teri
nginhereyes.Myheartwrenches,
I
zipt
hebagandhur r
yoverher.
“Pl
easedon'
tcr
y,yourf
ather
sandgrannyar
eher
e,
andIwil
lbecal
li
ngyoueveryday.
”
Shesnugglesonmeandweepssof t
ly.Myhand
brusheshersilkrelaxedhai r,
she'sabeaut i
fulgir
l
andmyhear tbr eakswhenIt hinkthathermot her
nevermether .I
magi necarryi
ngababyf ornine
mont hs,
feedi
ngcr avingsandpr epari
ngf orher
arri
valandthent akeyourl astbreaththemi nute
she'sborn.
“Sangel
ihl
e,
”Busikhayastandingbyt hedoor
l
ookingatus.Shehearsherf atherandli
ft
sher
headup.PaincoatsBusikhaya'sface,hewal
ksin
andscoopsheri
nhi
sar
ms.
“
Ngcwet
hii
swai
ti
ng,
”het
ell
smeandwal
ksout
.
Idrawahugebr eathandscanaroundtocheckif
I'
m notl
eavinganythi
ngbehind.I'
vebeenhome,
eventhoughnothingcanfi
llt
hevoidmybr ot
herl
eft
,
butIsti
llf
eltwel
comedandl oved.
Mymi ndi
sroaming,myf acei
sdismall
yfail
ingto
coatthesadnessI'
mf eeli
ng.Hekeepssteal
ing
glancesatmeashedr ivessil
ent
ly.
Beingbackher eisn'tasexci
ti
ngasitwast hef
ir
st
ti
me.Ngcwet hil
oadsof fmyluggageandlocksthe
car.Iexpectedhimt oleavemeattheentr
anceand
goback.Imeant hiswholebuil
dingi
sastudents’
resi
dence,visit
orsar eonl
yall
owedoncertaindays
forparti
cularhours.
“
Mt hembu,
”thesecuri
tyguardacknowl
edgeshim.
I
tlooksl
ikeheknowsandr espect
shim.Hisfat
her
waswellknown,i
tisn'
tasurpri
se,mostpeopl
e
r
especttheMthembus.
Ngcwet
hihasthi
sthi
ngofselect
ingwhohe
i
nter
act
swith,
Iwouldn'
tcal
li
tpridebecauseIknow
he'
saver yhumbleperson,butit
'si
rr
it
ati
ngAF.He
passestheguardli
kehedi dn'
thearhi
sgreet
ingand
goesstr
aightt
ot heel
evators.
He'
stoofamil
iarwitht
hepl
aceforsomeonewhois
her
eforthef
ir
stt i
me.Heevenknowswhichf
loor
weareheadi
ngt o.
“
Haveyoucameher
ebef
ore?
”Iask.
“Yes.
”He'snotpayinganyat
tent
ion.Wewi
llt
alk
aboutthi
ssomeot herti
me.
Vuyiswaisstandingintheki
tchenweari
nglacy
sleepi
ngshorts,shealmostf
aintswhenshesees
themanwal kingin.I
ttakesl
essthanfi
vestepsfor
hertodisappearinherroom.
“Hel
lo,
”Ngcwet
higr
eet
sBontlewhoseeyesar
e
aboutt
opopoutonthecouch.
“Hi…Hello,
”shest utt
ersandqui cklystandsupfor
Ngcwet hitosit
.Insteadofsitt
inghewal kstowards
mybedr oom wi ththebags.Thisi sgetti
ngonmy
nerves,Busikhayacouldn'thavet oldhim al
lthi
s,
there'
ssomet hingIdon'tknow.
Hecomesback, envel
opesmei nhisarmsand
deeplykissesme.Bontleclearsherthroat
,Ibreak
thekissandsendawar ni
ngt oNgcwet hiwit
hmy
eyes.Hedoesn'tseem tocare,hepul l
smet owards
mybedr oom andclosesthedooraf terus.
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
”Iask.
TheonlyresponseIgetisapassi
onatekissthat
warmst hesecretpar
tsofmybody.Myhandswr ap
aroundhisneckasIdeepenthekiss.We'vebeen
i
ntimateonlytwotimesbutmybodyal r
eadyknows
i
tsowner .
Hebreaksthekissoutofbreat
handstaresatme
wit
hlustf
uleyes.Gosh,i
t'
ssoimmoralthatIwant
t
ostri
phim nakedandclaim hi
sbodyasmi ne.
“I
'
m goingtomissyousobadly,
”hesays.It
racemy
fi
nger
salonghisjawl
ineandwatchashiseyesli
ght
upwit
haf f
ect
ion.
“
Imi
ssyoual
ready,
”Isay.
“
Sthandwasami
!”Hi
stonei
sagoni
zed.
“
ButIunder
standt
hatIhavet
ost
udy,
ourt
imet
obe
t
oget
heral
lthet
imei
syett
ocome.
”
“Andwewi l
lbehappi
lyt
oget
herwi
thyourf
ami
ly'
s
blessi
ng.
”
Urgh!He'ssuchamomentspoiler
.I'
mtr
yingnott
o
thi
nkaboutmyf amil
y.Mazwakhehasblockedme
everywhere,
notknowingifhei
sokaydr
ivesme
crazymor et
hananything.
“Iwil
lmakethingsri
ghtZanamuhla.Iwil
ldo
whateveri
ttakesforyourbr
othert
of or
giveus,
”he
says.
“It
rustyou.
”If
lashaf
akesmi
lej
ustt
oputhi
m at
ease.
Hisphoner i
ngs,
hesighsandtakesi
tout
.Hecalls
thepersonJama,itmustbeoneofhisbr
other
s.
Theytalkforaminut
eandthenhegivesthephone
tome.
Myfr
ownisir
onedbyadeepvoi
cecal
li
ngme
MaNgwane.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasks.
“
Yes.
”Icl
earmyt
hroat
.
“
Ibel
ievei
nyoutwo,”hesaysl
ikei
t'
ssomet
hinghe
j
ustr
eali
zedr
ecent
ly.
“IfIknewwhatIknownowIwoul d'vedonethi
ngs
differ
entl
y.Butwearegoingtosortthingsout
,your
relati
onshi
pwithmybrothershouldn'tbeabarr
ier
bet weenyouandyourfamil
y,”hesays.
Ist
ayqui
et.Ifi
twasuptomethey'
dst
opbr
ingi
ng
upmyfamilyever
ysecond.
“Yourfewdaysher echangedeveryt
hing.Youmay
havenotnoticeditbecauseyoudiditnatur
all
ybut
youwer ethefi
gurethathadbeenmi ssi
ng.Idon't
blameSangel i
hleforcr
ying,t
her
e'savoidyouf i
ll
ed
i
nherhear tandwear eallgoi
ngtomi ssyour
presence.
”
Myhear ti
sbeati
ngli
keadrum.Notinami l
li
on
yearshadIthoughtI
'
deverhearBusi
khayasayi
ng
thesewordstome.
“
Thankyou.
”I'
m al
mostwhi
sper
ing.
“Don’tl
ethim di
str
actyou,
givehi
m hi
sphoneand
kickhim out
.”
Igivethephonebackt
oNgcwet hi.Theychatand
l
aughf orawhil
e.Hepushesthephonebacki nsi
de
thepocketandsit
sonbed.Iwast oldtoki
ckhim
outandIt hi
nki
t'
stheri
ghtdeci
sion.Idon'
twantto
getintroubl
ebykeepi
ngunregi
steredvisi
tor
sinmy
bedroom.
“
Youneedt
oleave,
”Isay.
Hef
rowns.
“
No,
Idon'
t.
”
Lor
d!!
!
“
NgcwethiIdon'
twantt
ogeti
ntroubl
eandI'
m sur
e
myroommat esar
enotcomf
ort
ablewit
hyouhere.
”
Hedoesn'
tcar
e, hel
iesonthepil
lowsandst
aresat
me.Il
etoutasighofdefeatandunpackt
hebags.
.
.
LATERTHATDAY

“
OMG!It
houghtt
heyweddedyou,
putyoui
n
i
sidwabaandpoi ntedyouatt hef
iel
dstoplough
spinachandmeal i
es,”-Jul
awalki
nginwear i
nga
ti
ghtjeanandloosepi nkTee.Idi
dn'
treal
izehow
muchImi ssedthem unt i
lnow.
“
Wast
hathi
mleavi
ngaf
ewmi
nut
esago?
”
“
Yes,
”Isay.
Int
erestgr
owsinhiseyes,
hepushesBontleand
squeezeshimsel
fbet
weenusont hecouch.
“
Wher
eishi
sbr
other
?”heasks.
“Whichone?Hehasthree.”Iknowverywell
who
he’
saskingandmyfrienddoesn'tst
andachance.I
don'
tknowMndeni'
ssexual i
tybuthedoesn'
tlook
l
ikesomeonewho'dbei nt
erestedi
nJula.
“
Thehandsomebae,
”hesays.
“
Ngcwet
hi?
”-Me.
Hecl
ickshi
stongue,
weal
llaugh.
“
Mndenii
diot
.Youneedt
ogi
vemehi
scont
act
s.”
Myeyeswi
den.He'
snotj
oki
ng,
hewant
sMndeni
f
orr
eal.
“
Wher
e'sDaddy?
”Iask.
VuyiswaandBont l
efr
own,thei
reyesspar
kedwit
h
cur
iosit
y.I
'm notgoi
ngint
odetail
sandthi
sisnone
ofthei
rbusi
ness.Idon’
twantVuyiswatohunt
downDaddyandbankr upthim.
“Youknowmyst
ory,
IwantMndenit
obemymai
n
guy.
”
JesusChri
st!Thisi
sgoi
ngt obefuntowit
ness.
TomorrowIwi l
laskMndeni'
spermi
ssiontogi
ve
awayhisnumberandwe' l
lseehowthisgoes.
.
.
*
***
***

Mazwakhehasmadeahabi tofcominghomeaf ter

everytwoweekst ocheckifthi
ngsar esti
llgoi
ngt he
wayt heyshouldbe.Hedoesn'ttr
usthisfather'
s
wives,especial
lywi
ththeli
vestock.Soonhe' l
lbe
sendinglobolatoNandi'
shome.It'snotsomet hi
ng
heplannedt odosoquicklybuthissist
er'
s
depart
urecausedhi
mtospeedupeveryt
hing.He
bel
ieveshavi
ngNandicl
osewil
lfi
llt
hevoi
dhis
si
sterlef
t.
“HaveyoutalkedtoZanamuhl esi
ncesheleft
?”
Nkanyisoasks,event houghhenevergotcloset
o
Zanamuhlatheyst i
llsharethesamebloodandhe
worri
esabouther .
“WhywouldItalkt
oaMt hembu?”Hi
sfocusst
ays
ontheshoehe'str
yingt
olaceup.
“Ij
ustthi
nkweshoul dcheckonher,maybet
hey'
re
noteventreat
ingherri
ght,
”-Nkanyi
so.
“
That
'snoneofmybusi
nessandpl
easest
op
ment
ioni
nghernameher
e.”
Nkanyisoputshishandsupi nsur
renderandwal ks
out.Assoonashedi sappearsMazwakhecl ucks
andthrowstheshoeacr ossthewallangri
ly.They
shareblood,
allofthem inthehomest ead,butnone
ofthesepeoplearehisf amil
yatheart.
Hisphonerings,
Busikhaya'
snumberpopsont he
screencausingMazwakhe'sangert
oreachits
maximum.Whycan' tthi
sfamilyl
eavehim al
one?
Theyhavet
akenawayever
yonehel
oved.
“
WhatdoyouwantBusi
khaya?
”hebur
stst
hrough
t
hephone'
sspeaker
.
“
Iwantust
otal
k,
”Busi
khaya.
“
Idon'
thavet
ime,
”Mazwakhe.
“
I'
m sor
ryaboutNombuso.
”
Sil
encefollows.Onl
ytheirthuddingheart
beatsare
audibl
e.Busikhayai
swai ti
ngf orMazwakhetosay
somethingandMazwakhei swai t
ingforBusi
khaya
tospecif
ywhatexact l
yishesor ryfor.Whyhasit
takenhim yearstor
eali
zehi smistakes?Andmostly,
whatishissorrygoi
ngt oachievenow?
“
Butknowt
hatIl
ovedhert
oo,
”-Busi
khaya.
“Youfucki
n’ki
ll
edher!
”Ift
heywer
ehavingthi
s
conversat
ioni
npersononeoft
hem would'
vebeen
deadbynow.
“
Youknowt
hat
'snott
het
rut
h,”Busi
khayasays.
“Youweretryingt
okeepherawayf rom me.You
knewhowmuchIl ovedherandyoutookadvant
age
ofmyfinancialsi
tuation.
”
Busikhayaholdshimsel
fback.He'sdoi
ngthisfor
Ngcwet hiandZanamuhla.Thi
sisn'
tthe
conversati
onheeverthoughthe'
dconfront
,butto
hatchdownt hebeefbetweentwofamil
ieshehast o
paythepastavi si
t.
“Youdi
dn'ttr
eatherrightandthatwasbeyond
beingf
inanci
alunstable.Imayhavetaken
advant
ageofhervul nerabi
li
tyatt
heti
me,butour
l
ovewasr eal
.”
“
IsQophel
oreal
lyyourson?
”-Mazwakhe.
Al
ltheswi
tchesdr
op.Busi
khayal
osesi
t.
“
Youwon'
tfucki
n’ment
ionmyson'
sname!
”
“Whynot?Thisisonethi
ngstandi
ngbetweenme
andNombuso.Al l
owtheDNAt ohappenandwe'
l
l
nevert
alkaboutthi
sagai
n.”
“
No!
”-Busi
khaya.
“
Thenwhydi
dyoucal
l?
”Mazwakheasks.
“Yoursi
stermissesyou.I
t'
ssadt hatyouhadto
disownherbecauseherheartchosesomeone
relat
edt
ome.Eveni fQophelowasyourson, you
wouldn'
tknowhowt
oputsomeone'shappi
ness
bef
oreyourown,
”–thecal
lends.
.
.
Busi khayawatchesashi skidsdot heirhomework.
Qophel oisthesplit
ti
ngimageofhi m,from headt
o
toe,there'
snodoubtt hathe'saMt hembu.Hiseyes
traveltohisdaughter,Sangeli
hle,she
unapol ogeti
call
ylooksli
kehermot her.Hehas
neverhadanydoubtt hatQophel owashi s,hewas
therewhenhewasbor n,hehear dhisfir
stcry,
wat chedhimt akehisfir
ststep,heevenr emembers
hisf i
rstword,he'
sbeent hereeverystepoft heway.
Ifthere'ssomethinghecannotst and,it'
sMazwakhe
plant i
ngdoubtsinhishead.
Yes,Nombusodi dn'
tbreakupwi t
hMazwakhe
i
mmedi at
ely,t
heywer esti
llt
ogetherwhenhe
star
tedsl
eepingwi t
hher.Buteverythi
nghad
corr
esponded,thei
rlastdayofinti
macyandtheday
Qophelowasbor n.
Theywel
comedhi
mint
othef
ami
ly,
slaught
eredt
he
goatandrepor
tedhi
mt otheancest
ors.Somet
hing
would'
vehappened,
right
?
Ngcwet
hiwalksi
nandbri
efl
ygl
ancesathi
sbr
other
who'
sswall
owedingr
imace.
“
What
'sup?
”heasks.
Busi
khayashr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s,st
andsupand
l
eaves.
“
Whoneedshel
p?”Ngcwet
hiaskst
heki
ds.
Qopheloisoccupiedonhisbooksandcan'
thear
anyt
hing.Sangel
ihlejumpsint
otheoppor
tuni
ty,
she
asksthatNgcwethireadst
hebookandsummar izes
i
tforher.
Aft
erasessi
onwiththekidsNgcwet
hisearchesf
or
Busi
khayaandfi
ndshim sit
ti
nginhi
sbedroom wit
h
hi
sheadburiedi
nhishands.
“It
houghtIwast
heonlyper
sonwithprobl
emsin
thi
shome.What'
seat
ingyoundoda?”Hesitson
bednexttohi
m.
Busi
khayal
if
tshisheadup,hi
seyesar
ebl
oodshot
andever
ypartofhi
sfaceisdr
enchedi
nsor
row.
“
Baf
owhat
'swr
ong?
”Ngcwet
hial
armed.
“HowdoItel
lmysonthatwehavet
odoDNAt
est
?
HowdoIreasonwi
thhim?”
Ngcwet
hif
rowns.
“
Whywoul
dyoudot
hat
?”
“Mazwakhewon'tstopcl
aimi
ngthatQophel
omi ght
behisson.I
tirr
it
atesmetothecor
e,butatt
he
sametimeIalsowanttogetcl
osureandgetover
thi
srubbi
sh.
”
“
ButQophel
oisyourson,
weal
lknowt
hat
.”
“
Youdon'tgetit,i
fIcandot
hisi
t'
s75%of
fhat
red.
Maybehe’l
lletyouandZanamuhl
abe.
”
Ngcwet hir
eal
izesthathe'
sbei
ngaspecialson
again.Ever
yone'sworldhast
oaccommodat ehim.
Thistimeeventhekidsareget
ti
nginvol
ved.
“Iunderst
andwhyIirr
itat
eyoumostoft
heti
me.
Everyonehasgonethroughlengt
hsf
orme.I
appreciat
eever
ysacri
ficeyou'
vemadef
orme,”he
says.
“
Wear
efami
lyNgcwet
hi.Youhavedonemor
efor
us.
”
“Baf
oI'm notlett
ingachildgothroughtest
sformy
benefi
t.He'sgrowingup,thevoidofhismotheri
s
deepening,andnowwehavet ogivehim doubt
s
abouthavingaf athert
oo?NoJama, wearenot
putt
inghimt hroughthat.
”
Busi
khayastayssil
ent
.He'sthinkingofawayhe
canconductthet
estwithoutQopheloknowing.He'
s
notj
ustdoingthi
sforNgcwet hiandZanamuhla,
he'
ssickenedbytheconstantreminderofi
tand
wantsburyMazwakhe'ssuspicionsonceandforal
l.
.
.
ZANAMUHLA

IswearifIlookatt
hisbookonemor eminutemy
eyesaregoingtoburst
.I'
vebeent r
yingt
ocatchup,
submitt
ingassignmentsandprepari
ngfornext
week'st
est.Ihavealotofworktodobut
overworki
ngmyselfisonlysl
avingmybr ai
n.Ineed
t
otakeabr
eak.
Phoner
ings!
Ipi
ckitupwithasmil
e,t
hescr
atchyvoi
cei
sexact
ly
whatIneededtoher
e.
“
Youneedt
oeatZano.
”
Ther
egoesmyexci
tement
!
“Ngcwet
hiI'
m onmywayt
otheki
tchen.
”Icannot
hidet
heir
ri
tati
oni
nmyvoi
ce.
“YouknowIdon'tl
ikei
twhenyoudon'
tlookaft
er
yoursel
f.Nowsmil
eandstoprol
li
ngyoureyes.
”
WellIcanalsotel
lifhe'sfr
owningatme,
butIgi
ve
hi
m abr eat
her.He'
scr eepy,t
hat'
sit
.
“I'
vebeenthinki
nghere.Whenareyoureall
ytaki
ng
meoutonadat e?Vuyiswathi
nksi
t'
sbor i
ngthat
youhaven't
,shesayslifei
saboutexper
ienci
ng
thingst
ogether.
”
Helaughsoutreal
lyloud.Mostcomedi
ansdon't
l
aughatthei
rjokes,Iguessthat
'st
hecasewit
hme
aswell
.
“
Whatel
sedi
dVuyi
swaputi
nyourbeaut
if
ulhead?
”
Het
hinkst
hisi
saj
oke!Iwantt
ogooutonadat
e.
“
I'
m ser
iousNgcwet
hi,
”Isay.
“Al
ri
ghtst
handwasami.
”Hedoesn'
tstopl
aughi
ng.
Hereal
lyknowswher
etopushtoannoyme.
“
Ngcwet
hi!
”Ihal
fyel
lovert
hephone.
“HowaboutSat ur
day?I'
l
lbookat abl
eatthe
rest
aur
ant,buyyouflowersand………….”There'
s
someonetalki
ngathisbackground,i
tsoundsli
ke
Mndeni.“
Andf uckyoutosleep,
"headds.
“
Whoputthati
nyourhead?Mndeni
?”Nowi
t'
smy
t
urnt
oquesti
on.
“IDI
DN'
TSAYANYTHI
NG,
”Mndeni
’
svoi
ceyel
ls
over
.
He'
ssuchani
diot
.Ohwai
t……
“
GiveMndenit
hephone,
”Ii
nst
ruct
.
“
Why?
”-Ngcwet
hi.
“
Ihaveamessagef
orhi
m.”
Fi
vesec….
eight
….t
en….
eleven.
“
Zol
wandl
e.”He'
sont
hephone.
“
Hi,
someonehasahugecr
ushonyou.
”
“
Saywhat
?Givehermynumberandaskhert
otext
meonWhatsApp.
”He'
sbeami
ngwithjoy.
“
Iwi
ll
,thankyou,
"Isay.
“
Howbi
gisherbut
t?”
Real
lynow?Idon'
tgoaroundwi
that
apet
o
measurepeopl
e'
sbutt
.
“Idon’
tknowhowt oansweryourquest
ion,
”Isay
andthatdoesn'
tseem t
ofazehim.
“Wadl
aJama!Canwetagal
ongt oyourdat
eon
Sat
urdayandmakei
tadoubl
e-date?
”
Whooah!He'
son180now.
“I
fyou'
regoi
ngt
opayf
orever
ythi
ng,
”Ngcwet
hi
saysbehi
nd.
“Ihavesixf
iguresi
nmyaccount .
”Trusthi
mtobr
ag
abouthisbankbalance.Onl
yifheknewwhat
Saturdaywouldbri
ng.
Julanii
soncloudni
ne.WhenIfi
rstt
oldhimthatwe
aregoingonadoubl
edatehedidn'
tbeli
eveme,
nowhedoesandIwi shIhadkepti
tasecret
.It
's
sti
llt
wodaysawaybuthehasshoppedapi l
ethat
couldfi
thal
fofmywar dr
obe.
Oh,hedyedhi
shairaswel
l.Nowhe'
sbl
onde,
it
sui
tshi
m andhe'
ssmokinghot.
“Youneedt
oleavespacef
ordisappoi
ntment
,
rememberhedoesn'
tknowthegenderofhi
sdat
e,
hethi
nksyou'
reashe,
”Isay.
“Gir
lrelax,
Ionlyneedtwomi nuteswit
hhim and
thenI'
llhavehim wrappedaroundhere.
”Heshows
mehi spinkfi
nger .I
'
m notundermini
nghis
seducingskil
ls,butheythat
'sMndeniMthembu.
“
Canyouf
indoutwhatt
heywi
llbewear
ing?
”
Real
lynow?They'
renotevenonstage1ofdat
ing
andhealr
eadywantsmatchingcl
othes.
“
Don'
tcountyourchi
ckensbef
oret
heyhat
ch,
”Isay.
Her
oll
shi
seyesandwal
ksawayswayi
nghert
iny
hi
pst
othesi
des.
“Weneedt oor derboozeforwhenhecomesback
disappoi
nted.”TrustVuyiswatouseanyexcuseto
buyalcohol.ButIcansuppor tt
hisone,
Jul
awi l
l
needabot tl
eort woafterSat
urday.
Myphoneri
ngssomewhere.IpushJul
a'
sshoppi
ng
bagsasi
deandf
ishi
tint
hecouch.
Zandi
le?Whatdi
dIbat
hwi
tht
odeser
vet
hisone'
s
cal
l?
“
HiZanoareyouwel
l?
”Shecan'
tevenf
akeconcer
n
i
nherquest
ion.
“
Yes,
”Isayf
lat
ly.
“WhomadeyourdressforMamncane'
swedding?I
needadressf
ornextweek,Mazwakhei
ssending
l
obolaandwehavetoaccompanyhimtohisi
n-
l
awswi t
hsomegift
s.”
Ineedt
or eplaywhatshejustsaidinmyhead.My
ownbrotherissendi
nglobol aandIknownothi
ng
abouti
t?Ofcourseitshouldn'tcomeasasurpri
se
si
ncehedi sownedme.I'mj ustconf
usedaboutt
he
paceofital
l.He'
sneverbroughtanyonehome,even
thegi
rl
she'sbeenwithstayedasecret,
noteven
oncedidIhearhi
mt al
kingaboutmakingsomeone
hiswi
fe.
“
Whoi
sthel
ady?
”Iask.
“
NandiDl
adl
a,t
hey'
vebeentoget
herf
oracoupl
eof
mont
hsandshe'
sbeaut
iful
.”
Idon'
tcareaboutherbeaut
y.Whyismybr
other
sendi
nglobolat
oherallofasudden?
Myhandsareshaki
ng.DoesMazwakhehatemeso
much?Iunder
standthatIbet
rayedhi
str
ust
,butwe
st
il
lshar
ethesamebl oodandIhaveaposi
ti
onin
hi
slif
e.
“
Vuyi
swapl
easebor
rowmeyourphone,
”Isay.
“Don'tf
ini
shmyairt
imeya.”Shehasthist hi
ngof
f
akingAmer i
canaccent
.Idon'tknowifit'
swatchi
ng
t
oomanymovi esori
nherheadshet hinksshe'
s
NickiMinaj
.
Thephoner
ingsunanswered.I
'
m verypat
ient
,I
keept
ryi
ngunti
lhefi
nall
yanswers.
“
It
’sZanamuhl
a.”
Si
lence.
“You'
resendingl
obol
aandyoudi
dn'tevent
ellme.
Doyouhat emethatmuchf
orfal
li
nginlove
Mazwakhe? ”
Ihearhi
m dr
awi
ngahugebr
eat
h.He'
sannoyed.
“
I'
m sendi
ngl
obol
aPr
incessZanamuhl
a.”
Oh,
thi
sisagamet
ohi
m.
“Youar
emybr otherMazwakhe.Youcannotbean
opti
onnorcompetewithsomeoneinmyl i
fe.Ihave
Ngcwethiandhelovesme,buthecannotrepl
ace
you.
”
“
You'
renoti
nvi
tedZanamuhl
a,”hesays.
“AndIdon'
tcare,Idon'tl
ikethatNandigi
rlbef
oreI
evenmeether,
t heonlyinvi
teIneedistobebackin
yourl
if
e.”
“Idon'
tli
keNgcwet
hiei
therandIneverwi
ll
,
”he
says.
“
Iguesswear
eeven,
makesur
ethatNandiper
son
doesn'
ttouchmythi
ngsathome,
especi
all
ytheset
ofspoonsIboughtl
astyear
.”
“
Ohstopbeingabr
atHl
ahl
a,ever
ythi
ngyouhave
wasboughtusi
ngmymoney.
”
Myheartj
umpsinexci
tementasIhearmyname
changi
ngfr
om Zanamuhl
atoHlahl
a.
“Thi
sisVuyi
swa’snumberbytheway,
ifyoubl
ocki
t
Iwil
luseadi
ffer
entone,
”Isay.
Ihearachuckl
e.
“
Byo,
”Iendt
hecal
l.
[
11/
19,
09:
46] :Chapt
erFour
teen

ZANAMUHLA

Ihavedisrespectedthecult
ureofgoi ngonadat e,
Vuyiswasays.Ishoul d'
vewornhi ghheelshoes,
sheforcedmeont hem andIdidn'tevenmakei tto
thedoor,f
or ceofgravit
ykeptholdingmyknees
down.NowI 'm wear
ingmygol dsandal sandwhite
body-
huggi
ngdr
esst
hatshepi
ckedup.
“Youl
ookamazi ng,
”Bontl
esays.Godbl
essher
goodhear
t,Idesperat
elyneededacompl
iment
.
“
Butsheneedsal
ipst
ick,
”-Vuyi
swa.
Iletoutasi
ghandwaitasshedi
gsinsideher
cosmet i
cbagandcomesoutwit
hthreesimil
ar
l
ipsti
cks.
“
Whi
chcol
our
?”sheasks.
“
Aret
heynott
hesame?
”-Me.
Shesi ghsandmentall
ychoosetheoneonherleft
hand.Ilookatthemirr
oraft
ershe'
sdone,it
'snot
toobrightsoIl
ikeit
.NowI'm wai
ti
ngforJulani
,he’
s
sti
llnotdoneedit
inghi
mselfinBont
le'
sroom.
“
Cal
ltheUbersol
ong,
”Vuyi
swasuggest
s.
I
t'
sagoodidea,
Ial
soneedtoletNgcwet
hiknow
t
hatwear
eabouttoleavet
heapart
ment.
Ohgosh!Who'
sthi
sgoddess?Ourj
awsar
eont
he
fl
oor
.
“
Whoar
eyou?
”Vuyi
swascr
eams.
“
I’
m Jul
ani
,cal
lmeJJorMndeni
'
spl
usone.
”
Thisisgett
ingoutofhand.Hehasgonealltheway
out,he'sdr
esseduptokil
landnowthist
hingis
moret hanjustacr
ush.Hehasfal
leni
nlovewi t
h
Mndeniandhe' sget
ti
ngcarri
edawaywit
ht hisdat
e
thi
ng.
Theideaofitwasf unnyandint
erest
ingupuntilt
his
minute.Ngcwethii
swai ti
ngatt
heent r
ancewit
ha
bunchoff l
owersinhishands.Hekepthisfi
rst
promise,Iki
sshislipsandli
nkmyhandi nt
ohis.
“
Wher
eisMndeni
'
sdat
e?”heasks.
Jul
acl
ear
shi
sthr
oatbehi
ndus.
“
Hel
lot
her
e,”-Ngcwet
hi.
Julasmi l
esi
nr esponse.Weallwal
kinandheadt o
thetableatt
heempt ysideofarest
aurant
.It
’stoo
quietforaSaturdayeveni
ng,maybepeopl
ear e
broke.
Mndenist
andsupwhenheseesus.
“Don'
ttel
lmeIdi
dal
lthi
sfornot
hing.
”He'
sgl
ari
ng
atme.
Theyst
il
ldon'
tseewhot
hedat
eis,
they'
resl
owI
mustsay.
“
MeetJul
ani
,theper
sonIt
oldyouabout
,”Isay.
Jul
astepsf
orwar
dandgi
vesMndeniamot
herofal
l
hugs.
“What'
stheheck!”Ngcwethinexttome, Ipi
nchhis
armtokeephi minorder.Apartofmei shopingthat
thi
ngswillgowellbet
weent hetwooft hem.Evenif
theydon'
tdate,I
'
m hopingthatatleastMndeniwill
benice.
“Youhaveacrushonme?”Heisnowt
housandf
eet
awaywithhi
seyesbul
gingout
.
“Ahugeone,Ij
ustthi
nkyou'
rehot
.”Myfr
iendi
s
verybol
dandthat
'swhatmustbescar
ingMndeni
themost.
“
Ngcwethishoul
dn'
tyousenset
hingsl
iket
his?
”
Mndeni
.
He'
sblami
ngthewr
ongperson.He'
stheonewho
want
edtogoonadatewi
thsomeonehe'snever
met.
“
Canwesi
t?”Iask.
Hepi
ckshisphoneontopofthet
abl
eandput
sit
i
nsi
dethepocketofhi
sjacket
.
“
Ijustremember edt
hatIf
orgotani
mport
antf
il
eat
t
heof f
ice.Ihopeyouguyswil
lenj
oyyour
s………”
Ngcwet
hist
opshi
m,hebl
ockshi
swaywi
thanar
m.
“
I'
m sur
ehewon'tbit
e,keepyourpr
omi
sesndoda,
wearei
nthi
stogether
.”
Mndeni’
schestbouncesasheconsumesahuge
br
eath.Hisfor
eheadisal
lmoist
enedup,
hekeeps
gl
ancingatJulaandfr
owning.
“
Sowher
e'st
heot
herboyf
ri
end?
”Ngcwet
hi.
Ar
ewenotsupposedt
ofocusoneachotherand
gi
vet
heot
hercouplet
imetoknoweachother?
“
Hei
snoti
nthepi
ctur
eanymor
e,”-
Jul
a.
Igi
vehim al
ook,
isher
eal
lygoi
ngt
ost
artt
hisdat
e
onli
es.
“
SoI
'
m yourr
ebound?
”Mndeniasks.
Jul
ashi
ft
scl
oser
,Mndenimoveshi
schai
rtot
hef
ar
endoft
hetabl
ewi t
hhiseyeswidened.Ngcwet
hi'
s
bodyi
sbouncingnextt
ome, he'
scaughtupina
goodi
nsidej
oke.
“
Nobabe,
I'
mlegi
tint
oyou,
”Jul
asays.
Ngcwethii
sreal
lygoi
ngtoannoyme.Heshouldbe
concent
rat
ingonme,notl
aughingatot
herpeopl
e'
s
busi
ness.
Thewai
terbr
ingst
hedrinks.Mndenidownsawhol
e
gl
assatonegoandrequestsanot
herone.
“Excusemyignorance,
Ihear
dyour….
yourpeopl
e
hadtwokinds.Soareyouatoporbot
tom?”-
Ngcwethiagai
n.
Doesheknowmyfavour
iteweat
her?Thosear
ethe
t
hingsheshoul
dbeworr
iedabout
.
“
I'
m abot
tom,
”Jul
arepl
ies.
Mndenii
ronshi
sfr
ownandl
ooksathi
sbr
other
.
“
Whatdoest
hatevenmean?
”
“Top.Bot
tom.”Ngcwethij
oyf
ull
yshowswithhis
hands.Mndeniswall
owsandlooksatJul
alikehe'
s
seeingaghost.
“What'sgoingt ohappenwhenmybr otherwant
s
chi
ldren?”Thi si
sit.Wear eget
ti
nganot hert
abl
e.
Vuyiswawi llwantdetai
lsofthi
swhol edate,
and
whatwi l
lItellher
?Thatt hewholedatewasabout
Jul
aandshewast edhert i
meglamour i
ngmeup?

“
Idon'
tunderst
andwhywehadtochangethe
t
abl
e.”Hiseyeskeepj
umpi
ngt
oMndeni '
stabl
eat
t
heothersi
de.
Myeyesr
ollt
il
ltheyt
ouchmybr
ain.
“You'
reonadatewit
hme.Weshoul
dbeget
ti
ngt
o
knoweachotherbet
ter
,”Isay.
“
Iknowever
ythi
ngaboutyou.
”
Hedoes?
??
“
What
'smyf
avour
it
eweat
her
?”Iask.
“
Acol
done,
becauseyoul
ikeseei
ngmeunhappy.
”
He'sri
ghtandwrong.Idon'
tli
keseei
nghi
m
unhappy,hej
ustshouldn'
tmeddl
eonpeople'
s
dates.
“
Myf
avour
it
ecol
our
?”Iask.
“
It
'st
hecol
ourofmyeyes.
”
Imeltli
keabut
teronatoast
.Hisfi
ngerl
if
tsupmy
chi
n,there’
sawidesmi
leonhisface,
I'
m bl
ushi
ng.
“
Iannoyyoubutyoust
il
llovemesomuch,
”hesays.
“
Notr
eal
ly,
you'
reabul
ly.Youbul
li
edmei
ntoi
t.
”
Thecor
nerofhisupperl
ipcur
vesup.If
ailt
ohol
d
mysel
f,Il
eanoverandki
sshim.
“
Andyouseducedme,
”hesays.
Ipl
ayf
ull
ypinchhischeek.Someonecl
ear
shi
s
thr
oat
,br
eakingourstar
e.Helet
sgoofmychinand
l
ooksupannoyed.
“
What
?”hebi
test
hewai
ter
’sheadof
f.
Thewai
terhandshi
mthenot
e.Myeyesr
usht
oit
asheunfol
dsit
.
**
*GETYOURFI
LTHYHANDSOFFMYSI
STER
BOY**
*
Wtf
!Webothl
if
toureyesandsear
charoundthe
r
estaur
ant
.Whocoul
dbe……….Ohhellno!Whati
s
Mazwakhedoi
ngher
eandwhoi
sthatt
hinyel
low
per
sonnextt
ohim?
Ngcwethiadj
ustshi
mselfonthechai
randpul
lshi
s
pl
ate.Anotehasturnedourdat
esour,
Ngcwet
hi
l
ooksuncomf or
tabl
e.
“
Whati
shedoi
ngher
e?”Iwhi
sper
.
“
Itseemsl
ikehe'
sonadat
easwel
l.
”
Sot hi
swhol edayisawastefortheMthembu
brothers.Mndenihasbeendrinki
ngnon-st
op
oppositeus,hereNgcwethii
snowscar edtoeven
touchmyhand.Theonl ypersonhavingtheti
meof
hislif
ehereisMazwakhe.
“
Ishoul
dgosayhel
lo,
”It
ellNgcwet
hi.
“Don'
tputusinanawkwar
dsi
tuat
ion,
youknow
yourbr
otherhat
esme.”
Igivehim anassuri
nglook,gathermysel
fupand
headt oMazwakhe'stabl
e.Thegi r
list
henewest
versionofBarbi
e.EvenVuyiswadoesn'tputonso
muchmake- up,
herlongeyelashesmove
rhythmical
lyasshestudi
esmewi thheeyes.Her
handisgri
ppi
ngonaglassofwine.I
fshe'
sNandi
thenshe'
sdef
ini
tel
ynotwhatIhadinmind.
“Mbuyazi
.”Il
ookatMazwakhewhosef
acei
s
cl
osedupandunr eadabl
e.
“
Ist
hiswher
eyoust
udy?
”heasksaf
teramoment
.
I
sthi
swher
ehewor
ks?I
sthi
sBar
biehi
sboss?
“
No,
it'
sSat
urday,
”Isay.
“Sowhat?Youhavetoembar
rassournameand
shoveyourt
onguedownaman'sthroati
npubl
ic?
”
Keepi ngqui
eti
sagoodmover ightnow.Thel
ast
ti
meIcheckedhewant ednothi
ngt odowithmeand
didn'tcar
ewhatIdowithmylif
e.Buthe's
MazwakheNgwane, theworl
dst opsandmoves
afterhiscommand.
“Youcoul
dn'
tevenchooseabett
erlooki
ngman,I
don'
tknowwhatyouseeinthatbaboon.
”Hecl
icks
hist
ongue.
“Ther
e'sbeaut
ythatcanbewipedwit
hawett
owel
,
”
Isayandtheladytur
nsredi
mmedi at
ely.
“
Tel
lthi
sbi
tcht
owat
chhermout
h,”shesays.
I'
veneverbeencall
edabit
chbysomeoneIhar
dly
know.Theconversati
onwasbet
weenmeandmy
brot
her,Idi
dn'
tevenmenti
onhername.
“Icametosayhel l
o.”It
urnaroundandleave.Unl
ike
him,Iwon'tfi
ghthisgir
lf
ri
end,i
nsteadI'
llkeepmy
dist
ance.I'
m gladhedecidednottoincl
udemei n
hisweddingprocesses.
“
AreyouokayZano?
”heasks.
Inodmyhead,
grabmydr
inkanddownahugesi
p.
Jul
ari
sesupandl
eaveshi
stabl
e.Hemustbegoi
ng
tot
hebathr
ooms.
Mndenir
ushest
owar
dsourt
abl
eoutofbr
eat
h.
“I
'
ml eavi
ng,
you'
l
lseehowyougethome,
”het
ell
s
Ngcwethi
.
“
Whatar
ewesupposedt
otel
lher
?”-
Ngcwet
hi.
“
HIM,
”Isay.
Jul
a'
ssexualpr
efer
encedoesn'
tmakehi
ma
woman,he'
ssti
llaman.
“
Tel
lhi
mthatIf
aint
edordi
ed.
”Hel
it
eral
lyspeeds
outofther
est
aur
ant.Ngcwet
hifor
getsabouthi
s
probl
emsforaminut
eandlaughsathisbr
other
's
pain.
.
.
-
-
Mndenichangedhisnumberandi nst
ructedthat
nobodygivesthenewonet oJul
a.Nowhe
underst
andshowi tf
eelsl
ikebei
ngpesteredbya
guyforlove,
hopeful
lyhe'
l
lgoeasyonl adiesfr
om
nowon.
Vuyiswawalksincarryingyetanothershoppingbag.
Idon'tt
hinkshe'
sstil
ldoi ngi
tforfun,someone
cast
edaspel lonher,thisshoppingaddict
ionis
somesor tofspi
ri
tualil
lness.
“
Mazwical
led.
”Shedr
opst
hebagont
hecount
er.
“
Whoi
sthat
?”Iask.
“Yourbr
other
.Hisvoiceistal
l,
dar
kandhandsome.
”
Reall
ynow?Shemust n'
tcomeanywher
enearmy
brot
her,
shewillbankrupthi
m.
“Lor
dVuyiswa!Hi
sgi
rl
fr
iendgotanat
ti
tudefor
days.Whatdi
dhewant?”If
ightt
heur
getorollmy
eyes.
“
Hewant
edt
oknowi
fyou'
reokay,
”shesays.
“
Andwhatdi
dyout
ellhi
m?”Iask.
“
Isai
dyou'
reoutoft
oil
etr
iesandf
ood.
”
Wtf
!Thesecur
ityguar
dwal ksinj
ustasIr
eady
mysel
ftoconf
rontherforl
ies.
“Zanamuhl
aNgwane?
”Hi
seyesaresear
ching.I
stepfor
war
dwit
hmyheartt
huddi
nghard.Whatdid
Idonow?
“
Someonei
sher
eforyou,
”hesays.
Reli
efdawns.AtleastI
'm noti
ntr
oubl
e,butwho'
s
l
ookingforme?Ngcwet hitr
eat
sthi
sbuil
dingashi
s
cast
le,hewouldn'twai
tandaskpermi
ssionfr
om
thesecuri
tyguard.

Busi
khaya’scar
?Whatishedoi nghere?Ngcwethi
di
dn'tt
ellmehewasgoingt ocomet hi
sside.AndI
havewalkoutofthebui
ldi
ngandcr osstheroadfor
hi
m?!
Thedooropens,Icli
mbi nandcl
oseitaf
terme.I
t
doesn'
ttakeasecondf ormetor
eal
izethat
somethi
ngi snotr
ight.
“
I'
m sor
ryt
ojustcome,
”hesays.
Hehasl ethi
sbear
dgrowandatthismomenthi
s
unshavedfacehasagedhi
mtwice.He'
swornout.
“
Isever
ythi
ngal
ri
ght
?”Iask.
“Ineedtoaskyouaf
avour
.”Hedr
awsahuge
breath.
Ihatedoi
ngf
avour
s,butbecauseheshareda
wombwi t
hmymanI '
m goingtodowhateverhe
asks.
“Ther
e'saDNAt est
,Iwantyout
ocomewithme
andQophelo,
Ireall
ydon'
twanttoscar
ehi
m wi
th
str
angers.
”
Ineedt
opr
ocesst
hissl
owl
yinor
dert
ounder
stand.
“
Ishenotyourson?
”Iask.
“
Hei
s,butyourbr
otherdoesn'
tthi
nkso.
”
Mazwakhei sallt
hingsbutheneverputhisnosei
n
otherpeople’sbusiness.Hewouldn'
tevencare
aboutBusikhaya'schildrenunl
ess………
“
Youneedt
oexpl
ain.
”Il
if
tupmyeyebr
ows.
“Wesharedagir l
,Qophelo’
smot her
.It
'salongstor
y
andIdon'tl
iketalki
ngaboutit
.Hewant sDNAt est,
I
wanttogiveitt
ohi m andburythist
hingpastme.”
NowIunderstandwhyMazwakhewant snothi
ngto
dowiththeMthembus.I
t'
sdeeperthanourparent
s’
deat
h,theyhadalr
eadyhur
thim befor
ethat
.
“Mazwakhedoesn'
ttr
ustmeaftereveryt
hingthat
hashappened.Fi
ndawayt odoitwithhim dir
ectl
y,
youdon'
thavetotel
lQophel
owhati t
’sallabout,
”I
say.
Heexhal esandst aresoutsidethewindow.Thisi s
thewor stthingafathercangot hrough.Iknowt he
kindofanasshol eBusi khayacanbebutIal so
knowt hegr eatf
atherhei s.Hewon'tbeablet o
handlethisshouldt heresult
scomebackpoi nti
ng
other
wi se.Knowingmybr otherthewayIdo, he'
d
surel
yhavenomer cyoranyr egardforBusikhaya’s
f
eel
ings.
.
.
NONTOBEKO

Istareatthepieceofpaper , ithasast ampf rom the

poli
cest ati
on,I
'm supposedt of eelsafe.Ihavea
crazyexl ooki
ngf ormehi ghandl owbecauseI
decidedt oendmybusi nessr elationshipwi t
hhi m.
Mycompanyhel pedhim up, hegotcont ract
s
becausepeopl ebel i
eveinmeandanyt hingIputmy
moneyon.Thul aniwascr azyt ot hinkhe' ddumpme
l
ikethat,moveonwi thsomeoneel seimmedi ately
andt henexpectmet okeepi nvest inginhi s
business.He'sevenmor ecr azyt oaccusemeof
destroyi
nghi sname, Icant akemybusi ness
anywher eIwantandIhavet her ighttoi nfor
m my
associatesaboutt hechanges.
Ther
e'saknock.Myanxi
etyknocksupaswell
,I
hol
dmybr eat
handwaitfort
hepersontoknock
agai
n.
Itcomesagai n,louderthisti
me.Mysweat yhands
fishthephonef rom mypocket .Idialforsecur i
ty
wi t
hsweat yhands.Thedooropensbef or eitcan
evenr i
ng.ReliefdawnswhenIseewhoi tis.I
haven'tseenhi m si
ncet hedayaf terhisbr ot hergot
dischargedfrom thehospi t
al.ImustsayIwas
disappoint
edbyt helackofcommuni cation, he'
d
viewmyWhat sAppst at
usandneversayanyt hing.I
guessi twasmybr okenhear tl
ongi ngf orcompany
andt hefewtimeshepr otect
edmei gnitedmyhear t
wi t
hhope.
“
Youshoul
dpar
kyourcari
nsi
det
hegar
age.
”
Justli
ket
hat,hedoesn'
tgr
eetorevenacknowl
edge
thatwehaven'
tseeneachotheri
nalongtime.
“
HiBusi
khaya,
”Isay.
Hest
andsi
nfrontofme,If
eell
ikeator
toi
seunder
hi
shei
ght
,he'
sstari
ngdownatmel i
keamaster.
“Areyougood?
”Hemovescl
oser
,myhear
tski
psa
beat.
“
Yes.
”Myvoi
cecomesouti
nal
mostwhi
sper
.
“Youshouldn'
tstressyoursel
ftoomuch,it
'snot
goodforyou.”Hisvoiceisful
lofconcer
nandnot
commandingf oronce.
“
You'
vebeenst
alki
ngmyWhat
sApp,
”Isay.
“
Wer
eyounotupdat
ingf
orever
yonet
osee?
”
Viewingsomeone' sstat
usandnotsayinganythi
ng
tothem isstal
kinginmybooks,buthewoul dn'
tget
i
t,hedoesn'tevent hi
nkit
'sawkwardthathejust
poppedher eandpr et
endedasifever
ythinghas
beenf i
ne.
“
Whyar
eyouher
eBusi
khaya?
”Iask.
“
I'
m her
etocheckonyou.
”
“Aft
erhowlong?”Isnap,causinghimtofr
own.I
real
lyneedtokeepmyemot i
onsincheck,t
hisman
doesn'
towemeanyt hing.Iranoverhisbr
other
,he
nearl
ydiedandthat'
swher eitends.
“
I'
m sor
ry.
”I'
m engul
fedinshame,Ist
epbackand
wal
kaway.Am Ithatdesper
ate?Whatthef
uckdi
dI
j
ustdo?
“
Ntobe!
”He'
sri
ghtbehi
ndme,
asmyhandgr
abst
he
bedr
oom doorhandl
ehi
sar
mreachesmeandt
urns
mearound.
“
Icoul
dlosemyson.
”
He'snotokay,hiseyesar
el i
nedwithfat
igueand
sadness.Whyam Isoselfish?Iwaswai t
ingf
orhim
totextf
ir
st,notevenoncedidIbotherchecki
ngif
hewasokay.
“
Whathappened?
”Iask.
“I
t'
sal ongst ory,tomorrowwear egoi ngt odoa
DNAt est.I'
vebeensur eandconf identallal
ong,but
nowt hatwear ejustacoupl ehoursawayf r
om
doingi tI'
m scar ed.Whati fheisreallynotmyson? ”
Hel ooksr eallyscared.Myhear tbr eaksforhim,
I
cannotr elatetowhathe' sgoingthroughbutIknow
i
t'
sal ot .
“I
tdoesn'
tchangeanyt
hing,
youwi
llbehi
sfat
her
,”I
say.
“Mazwakhewi llt
akehi
m away.
”Hiseyestur
nred
i
nstant
ly,heclencheshi
sjawsandrel
easesasigh.
Idon'
tknowt hisMazwakheper
sonbuthesounds
l
ikearealthr
eat .
“I
'm sorr
yyou'r
egoingthr
oughthi
s.”Myhandsrun
overhisbroadchest
,herel
easesmorebr
eathsand
eventual
lythet
ensenesssubsi
des.
“
There'
saguyoutsi
de,
hisnamei
sMshi
be,
he'
l
lbe
l
ooki
ngaft
eryou,
”hesays.
Whaaat
???Idon'
tneedabodyguar
d.
“Stopwhini
ngonsoci
alnetworks,nobodyisgoing
todoanythi
ngtoyouwhileI'
m sti
llal
iveandthat
fuckerdi
dn'
tdeser
veal
lthis.
”Hescansmybody,
coldfl
ushesmystomachasmyhear tleapsup.
“
Ihopeso,
”Isay.
“Youhopewhat?”Hi
sdeepvoi
cerumblesinsi
demy
chestandal
lofasuddenmytonguei
st i
edup.
“
That
…thatnobodycomesaf
terme,
”Icr
oak.
“
Wel
lexceptme.
”Hi
sli
pcur
vesi
ntoagr
in.
“
You'
l
lcomeaf
terme?
”
Hi
sbr
owneyesf
li
ckerwi
thamusement
.
“I
'
m comingafteryourhear
tNontobeko.
”Heli
nks
hi
sforeheadontomine,myheartisaboutt
ojump
outofmychest
,myl
egsar
etur
ningi
ntoaj
ell
y.
“
Goodl
uck,
”Iwhi
sper
.
“
Idon'
tneedi
tbutt
hankyou.
”
Thiski
ndofconfi
denceissofucki
n'sexy.I
'm
pi
nnedagainstt
hewallwithj
ustahand, hi
sstar
eis
hoveri
ngovermeandtakingallmybreathaway.
Hechuckl esandbr eaksthest are.Iloudlyexhalesa
l
onghel dbreath.Wewal kbackt ot helounge,he
goesoutandcomesbackf oll
owedbyal i
ttl
ebrown
skinnedcreatur
e.Itlooksar oundt hehousewi thits
bushyeyebr owssnappedt oget her.Thecor nerofit
s
l
owl ipislat
chedinsideitsmout h.Theni tl
ooksat
me, myt al
entofstudyingpeopl equi cklypoint
sout
thesadnesspor tr
ayedi nit
sheavy- l
iddedeyes.
“
Hel
lo,
I'
m Mshi
be.
”
Snap!Thecreat
urespeaks,
it'
sahuman.Ayoung
handsomeboy,heremindsmeofsomeonebutI
cannotrememberwhoitis.
“Howoldareyou?”Myvoicei
ssomehowbur
iedi
n
sadness,
yetIdon'
tevenknowhi
sstor
y.
“
I'
m 21,
”hesays.
Il
ookatBusi
khayawi
thmyeyebr
owl
if
ted.
Hegotaki
dtoguar
dme?
“Don'
tworr
y,hehassur
vivedcheet
ahsandl
ions,
”
hesays.
Whatdoesthatmean?Ilookattheboycar
eful
ly,
his
cl
othesareabitwornout,t
hesadnessi
sthere
underhi
sheavy-l
iddedeyes.
“
CanImakeyousomet
hingt
oeat
?”Iask.
HelooksatBusi
khaya,f
orconsentIguess.
Busi
khayanodshishead,t
henhesaysyespl ease.
Il
eavet hem andwal
kt ot
hekit
chen.Ihavesomany
questi
onsforbothofthem.Iwanttoknowtheboy'
s
backgroundandmostlyIwanttoknowBusikhaya'
s
i
ntenti
ons.
“Ki
ndl
ysharethosethought
s.”Hepull
sthechai
r
andsi
ts.I
t'
sgoingtobeuncomf or
tabl
etodothi
ngs
wit
hhiseyeswatchi
ngme.
“
Wher
edi
dyouf
indMshi
be?
”Iask.
“
Longst
ory…Idon'
teatt
omat
oes.
”
I'
m notmakingf
oodf orhi
m…….Well
,I
'm act
uall
y
prepari
ngtwoplat
es.Igetri
doft
omatoeswithout
thi
nkingtwi
ce.
“
Whatel
sedon'
tyoueat
?”Iask.
Si
lence.
Didhenothearmyquest
ion?It
urnar
oundandl
ook
athi
m.
“
Whydon'
tyouaskwhatIeati
nst
ead?
”–Hi
m.
Nowhe'
sdi
ctat
ingwhatIshoul
dask!
“
Whatdoyoueat?
”IaskbecauseIhavet
hisst
upi
d
t
hingt
hatmakesmefol
lowafterhi
scommands.
“
Ngidlaokuf
unwayi
nhl
izi
yo(
Ieatwhatmyhear
t
wants)
”hesays.
Myhear
tshoul
dtakei
teasywi
tht
hebeat
sbef
oreI
l
andi
nhospit
al.
“
Oh,
whatdoesyourhear
twant
?”-
Me.
“
You.
”
Fr
om f
oodt
ome?Br
eat
heNont
obeko!
[
11/
19,
09:
46] :Chapt
erFi
ft
een

ZANAMUHLA

JulahasnotgivenuponMndeni .Yeap,hevows
thathe'
sgoingtogethim.Idon'
tknowwhyhe' s
becomingsoobsessedwi thhi
m, Daddywasherein
themor ni
ngtodrophim somestuff,
heshouldbe
sti
ckingtohi
m.
“Wehaveaguest ,
”Vuyi
swakicki
ngthedooropen.
Shelef
tinthemorningsayi
ngshe'sheadi
ngtothe
l
ibr
arytofini
shherassi
gnment,butnowshe'
sback
wit
haTr ustwor
thybag.
“Who?”I'
ml azytoevenli
ftmyheadup.Wehave
beenonthecoucht hewholeday,Jul
ahasbeen
tr
yingondiffer
entcolour
sofmake-up,nowhis
short
-t
erm goalist
obecomeamake- upar
ti
st.
“Mazwi
,”Vuyi
swasaystot
hepersonbehi
ndher
.
Thedoorcl
oses,
Ili
ftmyheadupandseemy
br
other
.
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”Iaskshocked.
He'scarr
yingsomeshoppingbags.Thel
ookonhi
s
facesayshe'sannoyed.I
tconf
usesme,di
d
Vuyiswaforcehi
mt ocomehere?
“Hereareyourt
hings.
”Heshowsmet hebagsand
dropsthem ont
hef l
oor.I
tcl
icks,
Irememberthat
Vuyiswali
edaboutmer unni
ngoutoftoil
etr
iesand
stuf
f.
Mybr otherhasfor
givenme,hej
ustwon'tsayi
t
becausehei sMazwakhe.Hethi
nksadmi t
ti
ngthat
hemi ssesandlovesmewillmakehi
ml essofa
brot
her.
“Thankyouhandsomebrother,”Ibeam asImake
mywayt othebagsandopeni ngthem.Godbless
Vuyiswa'
sgold-
diggi
ngnature.EventhoughIdi
dn't
needallt
hesethi
ngsbutthisgesturefr
om
Mazwakhehaspr ovent
hathest il
lcar
es.
Iwal
koverhi
m wi
thmyar
mswi
del
yopened.
“
You'
reaGodsentMbuyazi
,
”Isay.
“You'
ret
helastper
sonIwantahugf r
om Hl
ahla.
”
Hisarmsremainonhi
ssides.What'
swrongwith
myhugs?It'
snotli
keIl
oti
onedwithNgcwethi
'
s
sperms,
heneedsachil
lpil
l.
“
Tel
lher
,”Vuyi
swachi
rpsi
n.
Irol
lmyeyesather .Whatisherproblem?Shehas
nobusinesswithMazwakhe……Ohgosh, Ir
eally
hopenothingisgoingonbet weenthem.Whydi dn'
t
IuseBontle’
sphonet hatday?Iwouldn'
tbe
surpri
sedifVuyi
swahasbeent or
turi
nghim and
askinghi
m airt
imes.
Ii
gnorethelookonhi sfaceandhughim.Ihave
missedthi
ssi bli
ngconnecti
onwehave,whenwe
fi
ghtaboutli
ttlethi
ngsandmegoinganext ramil
e
i
nannoyinghi m.He'salwayshadanger,
Idon't
knowwher eitstemsfrom,evenasasmal lboyhe
wasalwayscaughtupi nschoolfi
ght
s.
“
Areyoudat
ingVuyi
swa?
”Iask.
“Who?”Hisfor
eheadi
scr
eased.Hedoesn'
tknow
hername?Iwonderhowhesavedhernumberon
hisphone.
“Me, duh!NocupcakesI '
m notdat
ingyourbrot
her
.”
Shesoundsal i
tt
lebi toff
ended.ImustsayI'
m
rel
ieved,shewoul d'vedri
venmybr ot
hercrazy.
Mazwakheneedsacal m woman,notVuyi
swaand
definit
elynotBarbie.
Julast
andsupwi t
hhisfacehalfdone.Heis
master
ingtheeyebrows,t
hismake-upthi
ngmi ght
behiscal
li
ng.HiseyesrunoverMazwakhe,thenhe
stepsf
orwardsuswi t
hacrooksmi l
e.
“ThenIwoul
dn'
tbebreaki
nganycodei
fIwant
ed
himformysel
f,
”hesays.
Mazwakhef orhi
mself
?Weal ll
augh,except
Mazwakhe.Julacannotchaseaft
ereveryguyunder
thesun,
especial
lyi
fhestil
lwantstowin
someone'sheart
.
“Ngizokudabul angempamauyoj i
kaEshowe. ”Heis
pissedof f.Themoodt ur nssouri
nst
antly.Didhe
notcat chaj oke?Julaisbackatthecouch, feari
s
wr i
tt
enal loverhisface.EvenMazwakhe' snew
fr
iend, whosenamehef orget
s,l
ooksfri
ghtened.
Theyt houghtMazwakhewasagent leman, Jula
didn'
tknowhewaspoki
ngasnaket
hat
’sal
ways
readytost
ri
ke.
“
Hewasjustki
ddi
ng.”I
'm embarr
assed.Theseare
myf
ri
ends,he'
ssupposedtotr
eatthem ashisown.
“Di
dn'
thegetenoughtoystopl
aywit
hasachi
ld?
”
heaskssi
zingupJula'
sti
nybody.
Okay,Imustzipi
t.Jular
eal
izest
hattodayhe'
s
deal
ingwithLuci
fer'
sagent
,hequickl
ygather
shi
s
bel
ongingsandleaves.
Myhear tsinks.IhavegrownclosetoJula,
he
alwaysbringslighti
ntoeveryone'
slif
eandmakeus
l
augh.Ihaveevenf or
gottenthatheoncetr
adedme
tohisDaddy.Nowwear ebestfri
endsandpossi
ble
sist
er-
wivesoft hefutur
e.
“
Hlahl
aweneedt
otal
k.”-
Mazwakhe.
Het
urnsar
oundandwal
ksout
.
Bont
lerel
easesalongsigh.Ievenf
orgott
hatshe
wasinthehouse.Herquiet
nesssavesherfr
om a
l
otofthi
ngs.
“
Heneedssex.Al
otofi
t.
”Vuyi
swar
oll
inghereyes.
Shedisappearsi
nherbedroom.Iwishshehadsai
d
thati
nf r
ontofhi
m,Iwould'
velovedtoseehi
s
react
ion.

Igetstar
esf rom otherstudentsasIfoll
owaf t
era
guywhoset rackpanti
sl i
ft
edupt othekneeonone
l
eg.Hei sat ypicalZul
uguy, wearingOrlando
Pir
atest-shi
rtandneckl aceoverit.I
t'
swei r
d,
especial
lyint hi
sarea,buttheycannotdar emock
himliketheyusual l
ydot ootherguests.Hecan
knockyoudeadwi t
hjustaf l
ickofhisfi
st.
“
Whenar
eyoucomi
nghome?
”
Home?Heki
ckedmeoutofi
t.
“
Idon'
tknow,
”Isay.
“
Nandiwant
stomeetyou.
”
“Bar
bie?No!”Thatgir
lcall
edmeabi t
ch.Idon'
tli
ke
herandI'
m notint
erestedinmeet
ingherthesecond
ti
me.
“
ThatwasnotNandi
.Itwasmyex'
ssi
ster
.”
“
Youhaveanex?
??”Iask.
Hebr i
efl
ychucklesatmyi gnor
ance.Obvi
ousl
yhe
hasex's,butheneverspoketomeaboutanyofhis
gi
rlf
ri
endssoIhavear i
ghttoaskwheretheexpops
fr
om.
“Yesdummy, hernamewasNombuso.Sheusedt o
buysweetsandaskmet ogivethem t
oyou.She
wasar eal
lyni
cegi rlunt
ilBusi
khayaflaunt
edhi
s
moneyonherf ace.
”Hisfacechangesashe
menti
onsBusi khaya'sname.
Qophel
o’smother
.Hespeaksofherthesameway
Busi
khayadi
d.Wasshereall
yniceorshefool
ed
bot
hofthem?
“Whathappenedtoher?”Ipr
etendnottoknowt he
wholest
ory.Idon'
twanthimt othi
nkI'
m discussi
ng
hisaf
fai
rswiththeMthembus, hemightdi
sownme
fort
hesecondtime.
“
Longst
ory.
”Heheavesasi
gh.
That'
sexactlyhowBusi khayarefer
redtoit,
asa
‘
longstory.
’Idon'tbeli
evethat
'sreal
lythecase,
ever
ythingcanbewr appedinfewwor ds.They'
re
j
ustnotemot ionall
yreadytotalkaboutit
.
Wereachthebakki
eandstopoutsi
deit
.Iknowhe
di
dn'tcal
lmeheret
ochitchatandi
t'
snotabout
Nandiwanti
ngtomeetme.
“YouhaveseenQophel
othereattheMt
hembus?
”
Oh,Iseewheret
hisi
sgoing.Inodmyhead.
“
Whatdoyout
hinkofhi
m?”heasks.
“
He'swel
lmanner
ed,
ver
ycl
everanddoesn'
ttal
k
much.
”
Hedi gestsitwit
hanod.Ihavepr ayedthatthe
resultscomebackpr ovi
ngBusi khayat obethe
father,notbecauseI’
m dat
inghi sbrother,
but
becausehehassacr i
fi
cedal otforhiskids.Heisa
goodf ather,Qophel
ohasknownhi m hiswholeli
fe
andt hesuddenchangeswi llaff
ecthim.
“Hecouldbemi ne,t
omor r
owBusikhayaandIare
fet
chingDNAr esult
s.Youmightbeanaunt,atl
east
you'
realreadydr amati
c,soyouonlyneedafew
ski
ll
st oquali
fy.”
I'
m of
fended.Hegri
nswi t
hsatisf
action.I
t'
snicet
o
himthatImightbeanaunt,Iwonderi ft
hejoy
wouldbethesamei fIt
oldhim he'
llbeanuncle.I
bethe'
ddi
sownmef
rom t
hepl
anet
.
“
Areyougoi
ngt
otakehi
mifhei
syour
s?”Iask.
“Obviousl
y,Ihavealr
eadymissedoutonmany
yearsofhisli
feandheneedst oknowhi
sr eal
i
dentity.
”Heshouldaddthathe'denj
oyseeing
Busikhayashatter
edaswell
.
“
Butt
heyr
aisedhi
m andi
twi
llaf
fecthi
m,”Isay.
“
Sowhatdoyousuggest
?”Heisgenui
nel
yaski
ng
f
ormyopini
on!Wow,we'
reget
ti
ngsomewhere.
“I
fheisyoursyou'
llneedtoeasi
lyworm yourway
i
ntohisl
if
e.Lethim getusedtoyouandthentel
l
hi
mt hetr
uth,
”Isay.
“MeaningIhavet orubshoulder
swi thBusi
khaya? ”
Hiseyebrowisli
fted.Ican'
tbeli
evehei sbri
nging
hispersonali
ssuesinsuchacr i
ticalsi
tuat
ion.Who
caresabouthim andBusikhaya,herewearet al
king
aboutachildwhosel i
feisabouttochange.
“
Hewil
lremainhisfatheraswel
l
,her
aisedhi
m and
t
hatwi
llneverchange,
”Isay.
Heshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
“I
'm notpr
omisinganyt
hing,
Busi
khayai
snot
someoneI'dassoci
atemyselfwi
th.
”
Hereal
lyt
hinkst hathe'
sbet
tert
hanBusikhaya,
and
Busi
khayathinksthesame.It
'snotsur
pri
singbut
ver
ysurpr
isingifyouknowwhatImean.
“Doyouthinkyouandhim ar
edi
ff
erent
?”Iaskand
hiseyesf
lushwithi
rr
it
ati
on.
“
Ofcour
se,
I'
m not
hingl
iket
hati
diot
,”hesays.
InZuluwesay“ uthekwaneakazi
boniisphundu"
,
him andBusi
khayaar edif
fer
entver
sionsofone
another
.Theythinkandactthesameway.
.
.

-
-
Thedayf i
nal
lyar
ri
ves,
thetruthi
sjusthoursaway
from comi
ngoutandBusikhayai
smor erestl
ess
thanever.
Hewal
ksi
nsi
dehi
sbedr
oom,
openst
hedr
awerand
takesoutaphot oalbum.Onceineveryyearhehas
takenhi skidst
ot hebeach,
Nombuso’sf avourit
e
place.Her emember showheunexpectedlyf el
lin
l
ovewi t
hherwher eashehadjustapproachedher
topr ovethepointtoMazwakheaftert
heirfight
duringasoccergame.
Theirf amilieshaveneverseeneyet oeye, he
mi ght
’vei nherit
edthatf rom theirfathers.The
Ngwaneswer enothing,theywer ejustdogst obe
kickedanddi dn'tdeserveanyr espect.Hisf ather
hadt reatedNgwanet hesame, Busikhayal ikedthe
powerhi sfatherpossessedandpr act i
cedt hesame
behavi oronMazwakhe.Unf ortunatelyMazwakhe
wasnot hingl i
kehisf at
her,Busi khayat hrewt heball
onhi sf aceandwor l
dwarI IIbegan.Thecoach
fail
edt ost opthem, thepr i
ncipalandt womal e
teacher shadt obecal l
ed.Byt het i
met hepr i
ncipal
managedt opullthem apar ttheywer ebothsni ffi
ng
blood.
BusikhayavowedtomakeMazwakhe'
slif
ealivi
ng
hell
.Hewasgoi ngtomakesur
ethatMazwakhe
regr
ettedtheminut
eheputshi
shandsonhim.His
f
ir
stmovewastaki
ngsomet
hingMazwakheloved
t
hemost,andt
hatwashi
spreci
ousgi
rl
fr
iend
Nombuso.
Hewor medhi swayi ntoherli
fe.Itdi
dn'ttakea
monthf orhertowelcomehi m andhest art
ed
worki
ngonwi nni
ngherhear t.Thef i
rstweek
toget
herwasnot hingbutahi de-and-seek.Time
wentby, hestar
tedseeingaf uturewithher.Ifshe
wasn'taroundhe'dmi ssherandher eali
zedthati
t
wasnol ongeraboutanenemy.Hewasi nloveand
hehadf all
eninitver
ydeepl y.
Nombusowasl ikeQophel o,
ver yhumbl eand
i
ntell
igent.Morethanever ything, sheenjoyedpeace.
Hergent l
esmi l
ecouldbr i
ghtent hewhol eprovince,
herteethwer eaperfectwhi t
esett hatdecorated
herfullli
ppedmout h.Shewasabeaut yinsideand
out.Shehadal eanwai standni celyshapedbot tom.
Herski nwasbrownandf l
awl ess.Sheenj oyed
fl
auntingitinabiki
ni,thebeachwasherpl aceof
sanit
y.
Her
emember sthei
rfi
rstf
ight
,hewant
edmor
efr
om
t
herel
ati
onshi
pandshewasn' tr
eadyt
odump
Mazwakhe.I
tescal
ated,endedi
naphysicalf
ight
andhegaveheranulti
mat um.I
twasei
therhim or
Mazwakhe,whoatthemomentsuspect
ednot hing
atal
l.
BusikhayaaccompaniedNombusot ohim asshe
wenttobr eakthi
ngsoff.Hefeltpowerf
uland
untouchableashewat chedMazwakhe' sf
ace
engulfsinpainasNombusot ol
dhimitwasover
betweent hem.Deter
minedt okeepherfor
everhe
thr
ewmoneyather ,andlikemostgirl
ssheenjoyed
everybitofit
.
Shefel
lpregnant,Busi
khayai
ntr
oducedhert
ohi
s
par
entsandt heypaidt
hedamages.
Qophelowasbor nandBusikhayahadnodoubtt hat
hewashi sson.Theycheckedhishandsandf eet
,
i
ntroducedhimtotheancestorsanddida
ceremonyforhim.Nothi
ngeyebrowr ai
singhad
happened.Hefit
tedinli
keanyMt hembu.
Att
imeshe'sbeensick,
justli
keanyotherki
d,and
Madodawouldtakehimt otheancest
orsrondavel
,
cal
louthi
sgreat-
grandf
athersandthey'
dhealhim.
Event
ual
lyBusikhayaput
stheal
bum awayand
ri
sesuptoleave.
Qophel owalksinandseeshi sfatheral
ldressedup.
Hewashopi ngthey'
dspendt imet oget
hersincei
t'
s
Saturday.Theyhaven'tplayedCrazyEightinalong
ti
me, hehasgot t
enbet t
erandcannotwai ttobeat
hisfatheratit
.
“
Babawher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”Hel
ooksdi
sappoi
nted.
“I
'm meeti
ngupwi thabusinessassociat
e,”
Busikhayasays,unabl
etolookathissonint he
eyes.Thepaininhiseyesmightref
lectonhim,
Qophelohasasof thear
t,andhedoesn'twanthim
tobesad.
“I
shethatmanwewentt
othedoct
orwi
th?
”
Qophel
oasks.
Busikhayaswal
lows.Ki
dsdon'
tfor
geteasi
ly,
he
thoughtQophel
owouldfor
getaboutt
heirl
asttr
ip
withMazwakhe.
“
No,
it'
sanassoci
atef
rom Dur
ban,
”hesays.
“
Okay,
gowel
l,
”Qophel
osaysandwal
ksout
.
Busikhayasighsinreli
ef.Hesendsat extto
Ngcwet hi
,l
etti
nghim knowt hathe'
sl eaving.
They’redoi
ngal lt
hisbehindMaMbonambi ’sback.
Mnot hosuggestedthattheydon'tt
ellheryet ,asit
mightweighonherheal thcrisi
s.Shej ustlosther
husband,andnowhergr andsonmi ghtbenother s.
.
.
HefindsMazwakheal readywai t
ingforhi
m.They
shareal ook,nei
therofthem breatheawor d,
Busikhayaleadst hewayi n.Hefeelssuddenlyhot
ashesi tsinthewaiti
ngar eaandt akeshi
sj acket
off
.Hishear tispumpingr apidl
y,hehastakenouta
cl
otht hathekeepswi pinghisforeheadwith.
Mazwakhei sonhi sfeet,looki
ngaroundwi t
han
annoyedlookonhi sface.Heisanxious,
Busikhaya'srestlessnessi sgi
vinghim aheadache.
Whydoeshel ooksoscar edanyway?Wi t
hallthe
moneyhi sf amilyhave, l
osingmustbeahar dpi l
lto
swallowright?He' sscaredt hi
ngsmightnotgohi s
ownway,t
hathemi
ghtl
oset
heboyhecl
aimedas
hi
ssontoaNOBODY.
“
MrMt
hembu,
”themani
nawhi
tecoatcal
lst
hem i
n.
Therear
etwooft hem butheonlyacknowledges
one.Mazwakheletsoutashortchucklebefor
e
fol
lowi
ngthem i
n.
“
MrNgwane,
”hedir
ectstoMazwakheatl
astand
r
ecei
vesapi
erci
ngstar
einret
urn.
“Theresul
tscamebackyesterday.They'
reint
his
brownenvelope,
youcandecidewhet heryouopen
them nowortaki
ngthem home.”
Neit
herofthem couldwaitaminutel onger
.
Busi
khayaasksf oraglassofwater .Thi
sisno
l
ongeragame, hedoesn'tcareaboutMazwakhe
andthei
rfeud.I
t'saboutQophelo,hisson,andnot
knowingwhatthef ut
urehol
dsfort hem.
“
Mthembuar
eyoual
ri
ght
?”t
hedoct
orasks.
“Ij
ustneedamoment.
”Hi
schestj
ustti
ght
enedup,
he'
sstruggl
ingt
obr
eat
he,
hepushesthechai
rand
walksout.
Mazwakhecl
ickshi
stongueandl
eansbackont
he
chai
r.
“
Whyar eyoustar
ingatme?”heasksthedoct
or
whoseeyeshavebeengluedonhimformorethan
aminut
e.
“
AreyouokayMrNgwane?
”-t
hedoct
or.
Heget
sannoyed,
hiseyesf
li
ckerwi
thanger
.
“
Whywoul
dn'
tIbe?
”Hi
sbr
owssnapt
oget
her
.
Thedoctorshrugsandtheybot
hwaitf
orBusi
khaya
i
nsilence.Heevent
uall
ywalksbacki
n,l
ooki
ngabit
cal
m.
“I
fyoudon'
tmi
nd,
wewoul
dli
ket
oknownow,
”he
says.
Themomenti
shere……Theenvel
opetearsopen,
bot
hoft
hem swal
lowandwaitanxi
ously.
“Thesearetheresul
tsoft
heDNAt estdone
betweenMazwakheSbongi seniNgwaneand
QopheloSbongaMt hembu………”Mazwakhe' sbr
eath
hasbeenhel dsi
ncethedoctorreadouthisname.
He'sleani
ngforwardonhischair,r
ubbingthepal
ms
ofhi
shandsonhi
sknees.
“MazwakheNgwaneyou'
re99.
9%t
hef
atherof
Qophel
oMt hembu.
”
Hecloseshi seyesandreleasesal ongbreat
h.
Tear
sar ebur ni
nghiseyes,heclencheshisjaws
andfightsthem back.Qopheloishisson!Hehas
wantedt hi
sfrom thedayhef oundoutNombuso
waspr egnant,buthewasdeni edthatchance.He
hadnovoi ce,nomoney.
Her emember showNombusowassuddenl ycold
towar dshi
m.Itwasl ikeshehadneverlovedhi m,
shedi dn'
tevenlookathisdirect
ion,
hisexistence
i
rrit
atedher.Hecr awledtoherandapologizedfor
thethingshedidn'tknow.Shewashi sfir
stlove,he
didn'tseehi
slif
ewi thouther
.
Whenhef oundoutt hatshewaspr egnanthewent
toherhomeandf oundmenski nni
ngacow.
Busikhayahadbr oughti
hlawul
oandNombuso
madei tclearthatifheevercamenearheragain
she’
dcal lthepolice.Hebecameanenemyt othe
womanhel ovedwi t
hhiswholeheart.
Eventuall
yhisloveturnedi
ntohate.Hehatedboth
Busikhayaandher .Shegotpregnantf
orthesecond
ti
me, shewasn'tcoldassheusedt obetowardshim.
Afewt imestheyhadbumpedi nt
oeachotherand
shehadat temptedtotalkt
ohim outofguil
t.
Theyhadunr esolvedissues,
thebiggestonebei
ng
Qophelo’
spat erni
ty,
butsadlytheynevertal
ked
thi
ngsthrough.Mazwakhehear dfr
om oneofthe
far
m workerst hatNombusohaddi edduringbi
rth
del
iver
y.
Henevergott
hechancet
osaygoodbyeandhewas
shat
ter
ed.

Thedoctorli
ft
supt heseconddocument ,whichi sa
wasteofti
met oBusikhayawhohasn' tbli
nkedor
sai
danythingsincether evel
ati
onofthef i
rstresult
s.
Noneofthismakessenset ohim butthat'
snoteven
whathasputhiswor ldintoaharshst op.He'stryi
ng
topi
ctur
et henewlifethatdoesn'thaveQophel oin
i
t.
“
Thesear
ether
esul
tsoft
heDNAdonebet
ween
Busi
khayaNkul
ulekoMthembuandQophel
o
SbongaMthembu……..
”
Bothofthem knowwhatt her
esult
sare.Theyjust
star
eatthedoctorblankl
y.Whyishewast i
nghis
energy?Theysti
llneedamomentt oprocesst
he
tr
uth.
“Busi
khayaMthembuyou'
re99.
9%t
heuncl
eof
QopheloMthembu.
”
Theyfr
own,
lookateachot
herandgl
areatt
he
doct
or.
“
What
???
”theyaski
nuni
son.
“You'
rebothrel
atedtothechi
ld,
meani
ngyoual
l
sharethesamebl ood.
”
What
?How?When?
[
11/
19,
09:
46] :Chapt
erSi
xteen

Nobodyevert
hinksonedayhe'dwakeupand
di
scovert
hateveryt
hingheknewabouthi
msel
fhad
beenali
e.Wakingupnotknowingwhoyouareand
peopl
ewhooweyouyourr
eali
dent
it
yar
ecol
d
undergr
ound.
Mazwakhe’sworl
dhascomei nt
oaharshstop.Who
i
she?That'swhathekeepsaski
nghi
mself.Howi s
herel
atedtoBusi
khayaMthembu?Howaret hey
bl
ood-r
elat
ed?
Heshoul dbehappyhej ustfoundouthehasason.
Buthehasn' tevencal
ledZanamuhl atoletherknow
thatshe'snowanaunt .He'slockedinsi
dethe
house,justablinkawayfrom teari
ngup.

Nkanyisoknocksagain,hei
swor riedabouthis
brot
her.Heknowst hatsomethingisnotrightandi
n
hi
smi ndhethinksthepater
nityresult
scameback
negati
ve.
“
Baf
oi fyou'
renotopeningthisdoornowI
'
m goi
ng
t
obreakitopen,
”hethreatens.
“
Breaki
t!
”-Mazwakhe.
Nkanyi
soi
stempt
edtodojustt
hatbutt
henhe
r
emembershowhisbr
otheri
s.Thi
scoul
dbejusta
tr
ap,he'
dbreakt
hedoorandMazwakhewi
llt
akeal
l
hisf
rust
rat
ionoutonNkanyi
so.
Heret
urnsbackt
otheki
tchenwher
ethef
ami
lyi
s
gat
hered.
“
Ishest
il
lnotopeni
ng?
”Mamkhul
uasks.
“
No,
hesai
dImustbr
eakt
hedoor
.”
“Youshould'
vedoneasheasked.”Zandil
e
shrugginghershoul
der
s.Nkanyi
sojustgiveshera
scornfull
ookandsaysnothi
ng.
“Weallknowt
hatonl
yZanamuhlacanbeabl
eto
gett
hroughhi
m,”Khet
hil
esays.
“
Whybother
?Lethim ki
llhi
msel
fifhewant
sto.
”
Mamkhul
uturnst
oherpotandstirs.
Shei sthefi
rstwife,herheartacceptedthatshe
wasmar r
iedtoapol ygamistonlybecauseshehad
noot herchoice.Hemar ri
edallfourofthem,
Mazwakhe' smot herbeingthesecondwi fe.
Mamkhul ugotal ongwi t
hotherwi vesbutshenever
forgaveMazwakhe' smot her.Shecamef iveyear
sin
theirmarri
age, Mamkhul uhadbeenunabl eto
conceiveanditdi
dn'
teventakehermont hstof
all
pregnant.Notonl
ydidshegaveMrNgwanet he
‘
father’t
it
le,
shegavehim anhei
r,something
Mamkhul uwantedmorethananything.
Sheremember showt hi
ngschangedsuddenlyafter
Mazwakhe'sbirt
h.Ngwanehar dl
ycamei nherroom,
hewasal wayswiththegoldenwif
e.Eventhefamily
worshippedthegroundsMazwakhe'smother
walkedon.Shewasl abel
ledabarrenbehi
ndclosed
doors.
Nobodyknowswhathappenedbet ween
Mazwakhe'smot herandNgwane,thei
rlovef aded
outoftheblue.Hegotint
erest
edinhislastwi f
e,of
courseotherwiveswereunhappyaboutit,but
Mazwakhe'smot herdi
dn'
tseem tocare.Shedi dn’
t
evenlookli
kesomeonewhowasst il
lint
erestedin
hermarri
age.
Otherwiveswouldgot oher
bal
istandgetherbsto
reki
ndlethespark.They'
dmixdri
nks,t
ryi
ngt oboost
thei
rsexualperf
ormancesandMazwakhe' smother
wouldstayinherhouseandbeadneck-piecesand
bracel
ets.
Theydidnotfi
ndthei
rwayint
ooneanotherupt
o
thedaythedeathcameandsnat
chedheraway.
“Maybehemi sseshismotherandwantstojoi
nher
i
nhel l.
”WordsescapeMamkhul u’
smouthcausing
everyonetogasp.Theydon'
tgetalongbutt
hey'
re
sti
llfamil
yandMazwakhei soneofthem.
“Letmegotr
y,i
fIfai
lthenZanamuhl
ahast
ocome
anddealwi
thit
,”-
Zandil
e.
ShecrossestheyardandgoestoMazwakhe'
s
l
ockedrondavel.Sheknocksf
orages,
Mazwakhe
doesn'
trespond.
“MazwakheIdon'twantt
odist
urbZanamuhl
aby
bri
ngi
ngherhere.Openthi
sdoornow!”
Finall
ythere'
ssomemovement .Heari
ngZandile
threat
eningtobringHlahl
agothim offbed.Hedoes
notwanthi ssist
ertobeinvol
ved,she'
llputherl
if
e
onhol dtobewi t
hhim.
Thedooropens,Mazwakhe'
sfacei
sbeyondpi
ssed,
hestepsasi
deforZandi
letowalki
nandaskswhat
thef
uckshewant s.
“
Wear
ewor
ri
edaboutyou?Di
dever
ythi
nggowel
l
?”
Mazwakhef ai
lstostandt hepretenceandbangs
thedooronhiswayout .Heleavest heyardand
makeshi swaytowar dstheNgwanecemet ery
wher ehi
sparentsrest.Hehassomanyquest ions
forthem.Hecanaskt hem buttheywon' tbeableto
respond,andthat'
swhathur tshimt hemost .They
owehi mthetruthbutthey'r
enott heretoanswer .
Zandi
lewasveryshockedbyMazwakhe'
sreacti
on.
Healmostbroket
hedoor,onl
ybecausesheasked
i
feveryt
hingwentwell
!
Shel
ooksar
oundthehousecur
iousl
yandhereyes
l
andonabrownenvel
opeontopofthetabl
e.
Shepeeksoutthedoortocheckifnobodyi
s
comi
ngandt henrushestotheenvel
opeandopens
i
tcar
efull
y.
There'
stoomuchSciencewrit
tenonthedocument
,
theonl
ythingshegr
aspsi sMazwakhebei
ng99.9%
thefat
herofQophel
oMt hembu.
Anot
herpeek!
There'
snoone, shegoest oMazwakhe' sphoneon
topofthebed.For t
unatel
yheneverbot hersabout
passwordsandst uffl
ikethat.Zandi
leonlyswipes
thescreenandclickswher eshewant st
ogo.
Therei
sn'
tmuchconver
sationbet
weenhim and
Zanamuhl
a.I
fhedidn'
ttel
lhisbel
ovedsi
ster
obvi
ousl
yhecri
edtoNandi.
I
ndeed,t
heychatf
requent
ly.Ther
eareunr
ead
messages,
inmostofthem Nandii
sbeggi
ng
Mazwakhetocal
m down.
Zandil
escrollsupandget stheshockofherlif
e.He
i
spost poni
ngl obolanegoti
ati
onsbecausehej ust
foundsomet hingnewabouthi si
dentit
y?Andwhat
doesitmeant hathehasasonandt heuncleoft he
sonisBusikhayaMt hembu.Shoul
dn'ttheuncl
ebe
Nkanyiso?WhatdoesaMt hembuhast odowitha
Ngwanegr andchild?

Daysgoby,Mamkhulutakesashortt
ri
pto
Mazwakhe'
suncle.Shei
sdesperat
eforthet
rut
h
andwil
lmanipul
ateherwayint
oiti
fshehasto.
“HawuMaNdl ela,
”Mazwakhe'
sunclegr
eet
s.Heis
alwaysinfear
,hisnephewi
sawant edmanandhe
mightrecei
vethenewsofhisdeat
hanyday.
“I
sMazwakheali
ve?
”heasksbef
oreMamkhul
ucan
breat
heaword.
“Icansayheisokay.”Shesighs.Herf
aceisful
lof
concern,
theyqui
cklygiveherachairt
ositandlook
athercuri
ousl
y.
“
Youcansay?I
ssomet
hingwr
ongwi
thhi
m?”
Sheexhal
esagai
n,what
evershe'
saboutt
osayi
s
heavy.
“Thechi
ldwantstoknowthetrut
h.Thist
hingis
eati
nghim.Hehaslostweight
,he'
snowjusta
sti
cksweetandyouonlyseebyhisheadthati
t'
s
him.”
Theuncl
elooksathi
swi
feconf
used.
“I
'
m her
etocheckifyoumayhaveanyknowledge
onwhohismotherdatedbef
oremyhusband.
”
“
What?Mysist
eronlydat
edyourhusband,t
hey
mar
ri
edinf
rontofthewholecommunity.
”
Hiswifecl
ear
sherthr
oat.Thi
sisn'
tti
metobe
defensi
veofadeadsi
ster,
especi
all
ywheni
t
concernst
hei
rnephew'
shealth.
“
Babar ememberSis'Cel
iwewasabouttosenducu
t
oMadodaMt hembuwhenyourmot herar
ranged
wit
hGog’ NgwanethatshemusttakeMlungi
si
i
nstead,si
ncetheyhadenoughcows.”
“
Yeah,butshedi
dn'tsendi
t.Ml
ungi
siwastheonl
y
manshewaswi t
h.”Mazwakhe'
suncl
einsi
sts.
Mamkhulurubsherhandstoget
her
,herheadi
s
cockedt
othesideandsadnesshasdimmedher
eyes.
“
ThissaddensusastheNgwanef amil
y.Theboy
j
ustfoundouthehasasonandMadoda' sson
t
urnedouttobeanuncle,
”shesays.
“
Whosai
dthatnonsense?
”Mazwakhe'
suncl
eroar
s.
“
Theydidabloodtest
,youalsoknowscient
ist
sand
t
heirt
echnol
ogy,t
heydon'tl
ie.
”Sheclear
sher
t
hroatandswit
chesbacktohersadface.
“
Whatdoest
hatmean?Thatmysi
ster
-i
n-l
awwas
al
readypr
egnantwhenshemetyourhusband?
”The
uncl
e'swi
feaskswit
hhereyeswi
den.
“Orsheneverst oppedseeingMadoda.She
mi ght
'vestayedwithNgwanebecauseshewas
forcedtoandwewer ewealthybackthen.Madoda
onlybecamer i
chaftert
hebankr obbery.
”She
clearsherthroatandchuckles.“
Well,ever
yone
knowshowhest ar
ted,wejustchoosenottotal
k
abouti t
.”
“You'ret ryi
ngt otellmeMazwakhei sMadoda' s
son? ”Thi sisconf usingt heuncle.Her emember s
howpi ckyhi sparent swer ewheni tcamet owhohi s
sistersmar r
ied.Unf ortunatelyMadodawasapar t
oft heguyswhower en'tthecutt heywant ed.The
Mt hembuswer ever ypoorbackt henbuthi ssister
wasunst oppabl e,shewant edMadoda.Af ter
umemul otheyhear dt hatshewaspl anningtosend
ucut ot heMt hembusandhi sparentsquickly
arrangedabet t
ermanf orher.Event hough
Ml ungisiwasal r
eadymar ri
edbyt henhedi dn'thave
apr oblem whenhewasaskedt otakeCel i
weast he
secondwi f
e.Celiwewast hemostbeaut i
fulgi
r li
n
t
hevi
ll
ageandmostmenwant
edher
.
“IfheisMaMbonambi ’
sson'shal
f-br
othert
henhei
s
definit
elynotaNgwane.Thesaddestthi
ngist
hat
thisissueistaki
ngat
ollonhishealt
h.”
Mazwakhe' suncl eexhalesandst aresi
ntospace
sil
ently.Whydi dhissisterhidsuchabi gsecret
?
Mazwakheki l
ledMadoda, hisownf at
her!Nomat t
er
howpooraper sonistheydeser veachancewi t
h
thei
rchi l
d.Sheshoul d'
vet oldMadodat hatshewas
carryi
nghi schild,sur
elyhewoul d'vemadeapl an
regardlessofhi shomesi tuati
on.
Attheendl if
er oll
edlikeaball,t
hemanhet hought
wascapabl eofr aisi
nghersonl osthimselfinfour
marriages, hisfinanci
alstatetookaknockasmor e
chi
ldrenwer ebr eedandmor ewiveshadtobet aken
careof .Andt hemansher obbedachanceofbei ng
afatherr oseupl i
keaday.Hewast hatonef amily
memberGodhadcr eatedtobreakthefami l
ycurse.
No,hedi dn'trobabank.Hegotaj ob,savedmoney
andst artedof fwithchickens.
TheyserveMamkhul ut eaandsconeswhi letrying
toputpiecestogether.Eventuall
yit'
scl earto
everyonethatMazwakhewasconcei vedin
marriagebuttheegg-scor erwasnotMl ungisi.His
motherdidn'tst
opdat ingMadodai mmedi ately,
thei
rlovewast oostrongt ojustl
etgoandmaybe
theybrokeuponl ywhenMadodal eftforDur ban.
It
'sMamkhul u’
sl ongestjourney,shecannotwaitto
gethomeandbr eakt henewst oeveryone.Theheir
i
sn'tatrueheirafterall
.Nkanyisoneedst otake
overimmediately,atleastshe’l
lbeabletocontrol
him,heisnothot -headedasMazwakhe.Maybehe
canselltwocowsandMamkhul uwi l
lbeableto
renewherfurnit
ur e.

Mazwakhei sstandi
ngbelowthekraalscr
oll
inghi
s
phone.Mamkhul upassessil
entl
y,whenshewalks
pastZandi
le’
srondavelsheaskshertocall
ever
yonetogetherinherki
tchen.
“
Whathappened?
”Twovoi
cesasksi
mul
taneousl
y.
“
Hei
snotaNgwane.Hi
suncl
econf
ir
medi
t,hei
sa
bast
ardchi
ldandheneedst
oleave.
”
“
Mamkhul
uar
eyousur
e?”Khet
hil
easks.
“DoIlookli
keI'
mjoki
ng?Theyconfi
rmedit,
hisaunt
knowst hest
oryfr
om t
optobottom,
from whenshe
star
teddati
ngMadodatowhensheseducedmy
husband….Imeanourhusband.
"
“Celi
wewasoncei nvol
vedwithMadoda? ”It'
sa
shocktomany.Mamkhul unarrat
est hestoryunti
l
they'
real
lsat
isf
ied.TheysendforMl ungisi
’
scousin,
heistheonetheyreportf
amilymattersto,heis
aboveMazwakhe'spositi
oninthefami l
y.
It
'salmostdar
kwhenhear r
ives, t
heygi
vehimthe
benchandgatheronar eedmat .Heisn'
tmuch
surpri
sedwhent heybr
eakthenewst ohim.
Mazwakhehasneverbehavedl ikeaNgwane,none
ofthem wereeveraggr
essive,theNgwaneshave
alwaysbeenknownasgent lemen.
“Ther
e'snothi
ngwecandoaboutit.Hewas
concei
vedi nmarri
ageandt
hatmakeshim oneof
ourownr egar
dlessoft
hedi
ffer
enceinbl
ood,”he
says.
“ToobadBaba, Iwanthi
m gone.TheMthembus
kil
ledourhusbandandwear enotgoi
ngtoshel
ter
oneofthem.”
“Buthefoughtf
orMl
ungi
si’
sdeat
h,”Ngwane'
s
cousinsays.
“Therewasnoneed,i
fhedidn'
tki
llMadodahi s
bloodybr
other
swouldn'
thavekil
ledourhusbandin
retur
n.Hehascausedenoughhavocinthisfamil
y,
heshouldgofi
ndhisfamil
yandthat'
sit.
”
Manyheadsnodi nagreementtowhatMamkhulu
said.Unf
ortunat
elytherei
snothingmuchNgwane's
cousincandoasMamkhul u’
svoi cest
andsl
astas
thefir
stwif
e.
“Zandi
lecal
lhi
m,t
ellhi
mtocomewi
tht
hebakki
e'
s
keys.
”
Zandi
l
ewastesnoti
me,sherushesoutandl
ookfor
Mazwakhe.Hej
ustcl
osedthekraalandt
aki
ngout
hi
smuddyboots.
“Theel
dersar
easki
ngforyou,
pleasebr
ingt
he
bakki
ekeyswit
hyou.
”
“Why?Issomeonesick?”Herushesi
nsi
det
he
housewit
houtwait
ingforananswerandgr
abst
he
keysofhi
sfat
her’
sbakkie.
Al
leyesar eonhim ashemakeshi swayi
n.Nobody
l
ookssick,hestar
tswonder i
ngwhatthemeet
ingi
s
al
labout,seemi
nglyeveryoneishere.
“
Isever
ythi
ngal
ri
ght
?”heasks.
“
Sitdownson.
”
Hedoesast
old,
amomentofsi
lencepasses.
“Mazwakhewehaver aisedyou, pr
act
ical
lyal
lofus.
Wedi dn'
tdi
scr
iminat
eyouandNgwanedi d
everyt
hingf
oryou.Unfortunatel
ythet
imehascome
foryoutogotoyourfami l
y.”
“
What
???
”Mazwakhef
rowns.
“You'
renotaNgwane,yourmot her
'sfamil
yknows
thatt
oo.Yourmotherwasalreadypregnantwhen
hemar r
iedNgwane,orshesleptwit
hhim behi
nd
ourbacks,wedon'
tknow.Allweknowi sthatonl
y
ZanamuhlaisaNgwane.”
Mazwakhe'
sfaceheat
sup.Hehast
ost
ayi
ncont
rol
ofhi
sbr
eat
hingandcal
m hi
msel
fdown.
“I
fMlungi
siknewthatyou'dbet hecauseofhis
deat
hhewoul d'
vedivorcedyourmot her
.Buthe
di
dn'
tknowt hetr
uthandnowi t'
suptomet odeci
de.
Idonotneedyouher eanymor e,youonl
yhavethi
s
ni
ghttopack,”Mamkhul usays.
“
Hemustj
usthandovert
hecarkeys,
”-Khet
hil
e.
“
Well,I
'
m notgoinganywher
e,t
hisismyhome.”He
r
isesuptoleaveandMamkhulustopshi
m har
shly.
“Youdon’twantustotaket
histocourtand
embarrassyou.Nkanyi
soisthehei
rofthisfami
ly
andforyourmother'
ssakegiveusthecarkeysand
gostar
tpacking.
”
“Sorryson,t
here'
snothi
ngIcandonow.Iwishyour
mot herhadtoldmycousint
hetr
uthear
lybutI
'm
happywer aisedyouandyou'
reagrownman
today.”
Mazwakhe'swor ldcomesi
ntoanend.Hismotheri
s
notpresenttotel
lhimther
easonwhyhedestroyed
hi
slif
el i
kethis.Whatdi
dhedotodeservet
hisli
fe.
Theytakeeveryt
hingandleaveonlywhatbelonged
tohi
smot her.Hehast ol
eavethehomehe'sal ways
knownashi sown, hi
smother'
sgraveandallthe
memor i
es.
Hecall
sNandi,hedoesn'twanttobot
herhi
ssist
er,
heknowshowmuchshewor r
iesandhedoesn'
t
wanttodi
stur
bherstudies.
“
Mbuyazi
,
”Nandianswer
s.
Hedr awsahugebr eath.Beingcal
ledaNgwane
cutsdeepi nt
oaf r
eshwound.Hedesper at
elywant
s
thesur name,hedoesn'
twantt obeaMthembu.His
fat
herwasMl ungi
si,
her ai
sedhim andt
aughthi
m
everythingheknows.
“
NandiI
'
m homel
ess,
”hesays.
“
What
?Di
dtheybur
nyourhomeagai
n?”
“
No, I
'mrel
atedtoBusi
khayabecausemymot her
l
ied.Shemademewi thanothermanandr ai
sedme
withanot
herone.Mywholelif
ehasbeenal i
e.”The
windfanshi
sfaceandforcesatearoutofhiseye.
“
Whatabouti
lobol
aandourweddi
ng?
”Nandiasks.
“Theyt
ookever
ything.Ionl
yhaveabagofmy
clot
hesandIwi
lltakethefi
rstt
axit
oJohannesbur
g
tomorr
ow.”
“
Doyouhavemoneyatl
east
?Di
dyout
akeanyt
hing
f
rom t
hei
nher
it
ance?
”
“
No,
”-Mazwakhe.
Thecal
lends.
Hefrownsandlooksatt
hescreen.I
tmustbet
he
net
work,hedi
alshernumberandcall
sagai
n.
Itgoesstr
aighttovoicemail
.HelogsonWhatsApp
andtextsher,i
tonlyticksonce,
thepr
ofi
lepi
ctur
eis
blankand……hei sblocked.

Mazwakhedoeswhathehasnevert
houghthe'
ddo.
Hedial
sBusi
khaya'
snumberandcall
shim.
“
Mazwakhe,
”heanswer
s.
Theirbeefdi
dn'
tautomatical
lyendbecauset hey
foundouttheywererel
ated.Al othappened
betweenthem,t
heycan'tjustforgiveandfor
get.
“
Busi
khaya.
”
Amomentofsi
lencepasses.
“Thankyouf
orr
aisi
nghi
m upandt hankyoufornot
disowni
nghi
m whenyoufoundoutthetr
uth.
”
“
Wel
l,
Ilovehi
m,”-
Busi
khaya.
“Ilovehimt oobutIcannotgi
vehim whatyou'
re
givinghim.Icannotevengivehi
m ahome.Idon't
knowwhenI '
m goi
ngtoseehim,Ihopeitwil
lbe
soon…. .
pleasetel
lNgcwethit
otakecareofmy
sister
.”
“
Areyouki
ll
ingyour
sel
f?”Busi
khayaasks.
“Ihavenoexper i
enceinkilli
ngdeadpeople.Ifyou
dogetachancet el
lQophel othathehasanuncl e,
he'shustl
inginJohannesbur gandwhent hings
comet ogetherhewi l
lvi
sithim.Tellhi
mthatuncl e
l
oveshi m somuch. ”Atearescapeshiseyeashe
saysthelastwords, hequicklywipesi
taway
becauseamandoesn' tcry.

Thecal
lleavesBusi
khayauncomf
ort
abl
e.He
knowsMazwakhe,hedoesn'tt
alkthatwayandhe
neversof
tenhi
stoneforanyone.ForZanamuhl
a
andQophelo’
ssakehehopest hatnot
hingi
swrong
wit
hhim.
[
11/
19,
09:
47] :Chapt
erSevent
een
ZANAMUHLA

Wear eheadingtoal ongweekend, Bontl

e'sbagis
alreadypacked, she' sgoi nghome.I 'm notsur
eyet
whatI '
llbedoing, Icoul dgot otheMt hembusbutI
don'twanttobet hatgi rl
friendwho' salwaysthere.I
don'thavemuchi nterestaboutgoi nghomesi nce
Mazwakhei snott her e.Hewasal readyin
Johannesbur gwhenhecal l
ed.YesQophel oishis
sonandhe' sl et
tingBusi khayaraisehi m.I'
mt he
proudestsisteralive.Hewasabl et oputhis
feeli
ngsasideandj ustdowhat '
sbestf orhisson.
“Anyplans?
”Vuyiswawalksinwearingpyjamas.I
guessit'
l
lbejustmeandherthroughoutthelong
weekendsinceJulai
sleavi
ngaswel l.
“
Nope.You?
”
“
Someonei
spi
cki
ngmeupl
ater
.”
Wrongguess.Whatt
hehel
lam Igoi
ngt
odoher
e
al
one?
“HaveyoucheckedonMazwi
?”sheaskswi
th
concer
n.
“
No.Whyar
eyouwor
ri
edabouthi
m?”
Sheshrugshershoul
dersanddisappearsinthe
ki
tchen.What'
sherst
ory?Mazwakhedoesn' teven
knowhernameandt hey'
renotevenamat ch.Even
i
ftheywere,Mazwakheisgett
ingmarriedsoon.
Speaki
ngofthat
,Ishoul
dcal
lhi
m andfindout
whenNandiwantstomeetup.Maybewecaneven
meetupthi
sweekend,Icoul
ddowithsometime
out.
“
Hlahl
a.”
“
Mbuyazihowar
eyoudoi
ng?
”
Si
lence.
“
Mazwakhe?
”
“
I'
mfi
neHl
ahl
a.”Hesoundsopposi
teofwhathe'
s
sayi
ng.
“
I'
mr eadyt
omeetwit
hNandiandt
hisweekendi
s
f
ine,
Ihavenot
hingt
odoanyway,
”Isay.
“
Webr
okeup,
don'
tbot
her
.”
Oh,whatdi
dIsay?I
'
dsayi
t'
sagi
ft
,If
oresee
br
eakups.
“Thatendedreal
lyf
ast,butI
'm notsurpr
ised,Iknew
beforeIevenmetherthatshewasn'tgenuine.I'
m
j
ustsadt hatmyweekendwi l
lbeboring
thr
oughout.”
“
Whyar
eyounotgoi
ngt
oNgcwet
hi?
”
Aremyear
sfunct
ioni
ngpr
operl
y?WhatdidIjust
hear
?Hi
m aski
ngmewhyI '
m notvi
sit
ingNgcwet
hi!
“
Ist
hatMazwakhe,
mybr
other
?”Iask.
“
Yes.Atl
eastyouwi
llbesaf
ewi
thhi
m.”
Wearegett
ingsomewhere.I
'm gl
adNgcwethihas
wonhist
rust,
itt
ookawhileandhopeful
lyhe'
llbe
abl
etosi
tdownandt al
kwiththeMthembusone
day.
“
NoI
'
drat
hergohome,
that
'si
fI'
m al
lowedt
o,”Isay.
“I
t'
syourhomeHlahl
a,youcango.Butpleasebe
caref
ul,
eatonl
ywhatyouprepar
edyourself
."
Hejustplantedanotherdoubt.I
t'
seasybei
ngat
homei fheisalsoaround.Hekeepshiseyeson
everyt
hing,I
’m notusedtotheli
feoffr
equent
ly
checki
ngbehi ndmyshoul der
s.Homei swher
eI'm
supposedtobef ree.
“
Whenar
eyoucomi
nghome?
”Iask.
“
I'
m notsur
eyet
.”Heexhal
esdeepl
y.
“Al
ri
ght
,takecar
eofyour
sel
fther
e.Vuyi
swaandI
arewor
ri
edaboutyou.
”
“
Whaaat
?”Vuyi
swa’
svoi
cebehi
ndme.
Oops!Shehear
dthat
.Ir
ecei
veadeadl
ookandend
t
hecall.
“
Isaidnol
ie,
youwer
ewor
ri
edabouthi
m,”Idef
end
myself
.
“Andyouj
usthadtotel
lhi
m?WowZano, nowyour
brot
herwi
llt
hinkIwanthi
m.”Shest
ormsout
.
She'
sreal
lyangr
y.Idi
dn'
tknowi
twassupposedt
o
st
ayasecret.
Lateranolduglymanf et
chesher .Theyaskmet o
tagalong,Vuyi
swai sjustfeel
ingsor r
yf ormebut
aft
erwhathappenedt helastt
imeIgoti nt hecar
withastrangerIdon'tthi
nkI'l
levertrustmenIdon't
know.
Inst
eadofbeingapot at
oonthecouchImustdo
someschoolwor k.Examsar
ejustamonthaway,I
needtoprepareandmakesuremyassessmentis
i
nor der
.
Oh,beforeIforgetletmesendthatemailtothe
bursaryfunder
.Ineedt ochangemybanki ngdetai
ls,
Idon'tevenknowi fthat
'sal
lowed,mycurrentbank
chargesareinsane.Ihadtoopenast udent'
s
accountformyal lowance.
Igetresponseinstantl
y.There’
salinkIneedt o
fol
low,it
'smucheasi eronl
ine,wit
hinfiveminutes
I'
m doneandj ustbrowsingthroughT&C' s.I
'
mt hat
bored,I
'mr eadi
ngeverythi
ngont heirsit
eandone
thi
ngcat chesmyeye.
JamaRanchHouse?Whatdot
heyhavetodowi
th
mybursar
y?Whyaret
heyonthi
swebsit
e?
Deepbr eath.IputmyFBIcapon,it'
stimet o
i
nvest i
gate.Inoneoft
hepagesthere'sanexecut ive
signatureandIhaveseenitbef
ore.Thel ongsl i
ding
Bt hatconnectstoM,Ihavenodoubtt hat
Busikhayasignedther
e.HehatedmewhenIgot
thisbursary,meani
ngNgcwethiorchestratedthis
whol ethi
ngandhehasn'tfoundoner easont olet
meknow.It houghtwewerepastthesecr etstage.

Hecallsper sistentl
y.Heknowst here'ssomet hing
wrongandt hatmakesmeevenmor eangr y.Itake
thefi
rsttaxihome, Icannotsitinthebui l
dingt hey
ownandpr obabl yplantedcamer ast owat chevery
moveImake.Ican' tbelieveNgcwet hihasbeen
l
yingstraightt omyf ace.Wow!Toevent hinkIwas
proudofmysel fthinki
ngIear nedthisbur sary.
They'
refeedi ngmeever ymont h,sendi ng
all
owancesandt ranspor tf
ee.Basicall
yI'mt heir
chari
tycase.
It
'sl
atewhenIgethome.Thebakki
eishere?
MazwakhesaidhewasinJohannesbur
g,howdi
d
gett
herei
fthecarisher
e?
Iwalkpasthi
srondavel
,it
'slockedsohei scertai
nly
nothome.Well,Ineedt
ogr eetandleteveryone
knowthatI'
m home.Hopefullytheydon'tbri
ngup
theNgcwethidr
ama.
“Zanamuhlayou'
rehome.”It'
sZandil
e,al
somaking
herwaytoMamkhul u’ski
tchenwhichservesast
he
famil
ygather
ingplace.
I'
mj ustsurpri
sedbyhernewl ook.Di
dshegeta
blesserorsomething?Nobodyeverrockssucha
l
ongweavef ornospecial
eventinthi
scommunity.
Andt hatbeinganexaggerat
ion,mostofusdon'
t
rockweaves, per
iod!
DSTVdi
sh?Wher
eam I
?
“
WhowonLot
to?
”Iask.
“
Youmeanwehavet owinLot
toinor
dertoaffor
d
t
hings?Andshoul
dn'
tyoubeher
ewithabakhongi?
”
Peopleinsi
dethehousehear
dthat
,whenwewal
kin
thei
reyesaregluedonme.
“
Goodquesti
onZandi
le.
”Mamkhul
ujumpi
ngi
nto
t
heconver
sati
on.
“
Theycameandgotr
eject
ed.Am Iwel
comedher
e?”
“You'
real
readyher
e.”Shesaystur
ningbackt
othe
doughshewasr ol
li
ng.Iguesst
hey'
reokaywit
hit
,I
walki
nandf or
mallygreet
.
“HowdidMazwakhegettoJohannesbur
g,Iseet
he
bakki
epar
kedontheyard?”Iask.
Theylookatoneanot
her.Foramomentnobody
comeswi t
hananswer.Theirr
eact
iongi
vesmea
str
angefeeli
ng.
“
Hel
efti
tforNkanyi
so.
”Fi
nal
lyZandi
lesays.
“
Didhenott
alkt
oyou?
”Nkanyi
soasks.
“
Wet al
kedafewdaysagoandhewasoccupi
ed
wit
hwork.”
Henods.Nobodysaysanythi
ng.Maybetheywer
e
st
il
lgossi
pingaboutusandI'
m maki
ngthem
uncomfor
tabl
e.
“
I'
m goi
ngt
obed,
”Isay.
“
Whenar
eyoul
eavi
ng?
”Zandi
le.
Shecannotevenwait
,Ihaven'
tbeenher
eevenan
hourf
orcryi
ngoutloud.
“
Monday,
”Isay.
“TellthatMthembuboywewantourcows.They
alsoneedt ocleansethishomeastheyhave
attackedandki l
led.Nkanyi
soandUncleNgwane
willholdthenegot i
ati
ons,
”Mamkhulusays.
Whatoneart
h!Si
ncewhenNkanyi
sooccupi
essuch
aseni
orposi
ti
onint
hisf
amil
y?
“No.Mazwakheistheonewhowil
lholdt
he
negot
iat
ionsandI'
m wait
ingf
orhi
mt obeready,
”I
say.
“Doyouknowhowmuchwecangetof ft
he
Mt hembusi fwegett
heKi ngi nvolved?Fi
rstl
y,they
kidnappedyou.Secondly,theyt ookyourvir
ginity
andGodknowsi fyouhaven' tfall
enpregnantyet
andl ast
lytheyki
ll
edyourfather ,fi
redbul
let
si nside
ourpr emisesandburntyourmot her'
shouse.Ifyou
l
ovet hatboyandyou' r
eseri
ousaboutmarryi
nghim
you'
llforgetaboutyourst
ubbor
nbrotherandletus
dothisther i
ghtf
ulway.”
IknowtheMt hembuswillmani
pulat
et hei
rway,
thesear
ejustdeadthr
eats.However,Iwantt
obe
withNgcwethiri
ght
ful
ly.
I'
m confusedashel
l.IknowthatIwantmybr other
tobeinchargeofeveryt
hingandit'
shisdut
yast he
fi
rstsoninthefami
ly.Hestandsinformyfatheron
everyt
hing.

Hisphoneri
ngsunanswered.Iwantt
orunt hispast
him,i
fhe'
snotokaywit
hitthenweareput t
ing
ever
ythi
ngonholdunti
lheagreestoacceptlobola.
“
Hlahl
a.”Ohf
inal
ly!
“
Whyar
eyounotanswer
ing?
”
“
Ijustanswer
ed.
”
He'
sinoneofhi
sfoulmoods.
“
Ineedtot
alktoyouaboutsomet
hingi
mpor
tant
,
l
oosenup,
”Isay.
Ihearhi
m exhal
ingdeepl
y.
“
I'
mli
steni
ng,
”hesays.
“Mamkhuluwant sl
obol
anegoti
ati
onstostar
t,she
saysNkanyisoandUncl
eNgwanewi l
lbein
charge.
”Iexpecthi
mtogetangry,
howdare
Mamkhul umakessuchdeci
sionswit
houthim!
“
Whatdoyouwant
?”That
'swhatheasksi
nst
eadof
l
ashi
ngout
.
“Me?Iwanttobewi
thNgcwet
hiandIwantyouto
approveandwal
kmedowntheaisl
e.”Mymind
worksreal
lyf
ast
.Wal
kdowntheaisl
e?Real
ly?
“
Okay,
lett
hem pr
oceed.
”
Didhej
ustappr
oveofNgcwet
hiandI
?It
'sgoi
ngt
o
rai
ncat
sanddogs.
“Whenareyoucomi
nghome?
”Icannothol
dmy
exci
tement
.
“I
'
m notsur
eyet,
”hesayswhathe'sbeensayingt
he
whol
eweek.Ihopether
e'snoGau-bi
tchhol
dinghi
m
bybal
lsandst
oppinghi
mf rom comi
nghome.
“
Iloveyoumcwamncwa!
”Isay.
Hedoesn'tsayanythi
ngbutIcanbethewasn'
t
hol
dingbackont el
li
ngNandithathel
ovedher
.
“Soyou'r
egoingtoendt
hecal
lwi
thoutsayi
ng
anyt
hing?”Iask.
“You'r
emysi sterHlahla,t
heonl ypersonIhaveand
I'
ddoanyt hi
ngt oprotectyou.Yourhappi ness
meansever ythingtome, sometimesIevent hinkI
knowwhatmakesyouhappymor ethanyoudoand
takedrast
icdeci si
ons.Butalli
nal l,
I'l
lalwayshave
yourbestinterestatheart.Wit
ht hatsaid,yes
ngiyakut
handakhandal akho.”
Iburstoutl
aughi
ng.Thecallleavesmeonhi gh
spi
ri
t,Idon'
tevenpayattent
iontothenextcallIj
ust
answerandgreetj
oyful
ly.
“
Zanamuhl
awhatdi
dIdo?
”Hisvoi
ce….
thebursary
f
under
…myveryownNSFAS.WhydidIanswer?
“
Ngcwet
hi.
”Iswi
tcht
omyno-
nonsenset
one.
“
I'
vebeentryi
ngtogethol
dofyousinceyest
erday.
Whereareyou?”He'
sdown.It
rynottosympathi
ze
wit
hhissadnessthi
sti
me.No,I
'm angr
yathim.
“Whenareyouall
ocat
ingmySept
ember
al
lowance?
”Iask.
“Whatdoyoumean?Doyouneedmoney?
”Sohe'
s
goi
ngtoactdumb!Thi
sguyi
stest
ingme,bot
hhi
m
andhisancest
ors.
“Ineedyoutotellmewhyyouf undedmewi tha
bursar
y?Isitbecauseyourfamil
yisrichandyou
wantedapoorgi rlt
odustup?Oryouf el
tgui
lt
yt hat
youkidnappedmeandcostmemyl astsemester?”
Si
lence.Nowhecan'
tspeak?
!
“
Ngcwet
hianswerme.
”I'
m yel
li
ng.
“YesIfel
tguil
ty.Idon'
tnormall
yactimpulsi
vel
y,
whathappenedt hatni
ghtshouldn'
thavehappened.
Ihatemyselff
orbur ni
ngyourmot her
'shouseand
forever
ythi
ngmyf amil
yhasdonet oyours.
”
Icanfeelmybodymel t
ing.Ishoul
dbeangryandit
shoul
dst ayt
hatway.Butfuck,Ihaveasof
tspotf
or
thi
sguy,especi
all
yifhe'
ssad.
“
IfIhadpowerI
'dgi
veyouyourpar
entsbackas
well
.Anyt
hingt
ocomplet
eyourworl
d,toful
fi
lyour
dr
eamsandmakeyouhappy.
”
Hegotme.I
'm overwhat
everhappened.Bursar
y
andschemi
ngbehindmyback, i
t'
sallbehi
ndnow.
“
Ihavegoodnews.
”I'
m backatt
hel
ovi
nggi
rl
fr
iend
t
one.
“
Real
ly?
”Ther
e'sasi
gh.He'
srel
ieved.
“Myf ami
lyi
sreadyfornegoti
ati
ons.Mazwakhe
gaveNkanyisoandmyuncl eago-ahead.Hef
inal
ly
approvedofus.
”I'
m beamingwithjoy.
“
Oh!”Defi
nit
elynott
heresponseIexpect
ed.Imean
wheredi
dhedumphi sexcit
ement?
“Di
dyouchangeyourmi
ndaboutusNgcwet
hi?
”I
shoul
dknowifhe'
sNandiRel
oaded.
“No,notatall
.I'
mjustsur
pri
sedbyt hesudden
changeofthings.I
'
m happysthandwasami .
”Agai
n,
heforget
stoevenf akei
tinhi
svoice.Hesounds
worri
edinsteadofhappy.
“Arewegoodnow?Youwi
llanswermycal
ls?
”he
asks.
“
Yesbutdon'
teverdot
hingsbehi
ndmyback
agai
n.”
“I
'
m sor
rybabe,
from nowonther
e'l
lbenosecr
ets.
Andmyuncleswillbei
nyourhomesoon,
”hesays.
I
twasr
ough.Theupsanddownswer et
here.Along
t
hewaywegotwounded,butf
inal
lywearehere.
.
.
-
-

*
**THEMTHEMBUOFFI
CES*
**

Ngcwethisighsheavil
y.They'r
eallworri
ed.
Somethinghappenedatt heNgwanes, al
lofthem
knowMazwakhewel landhewoul dn'
tjustl
eavehis
si
ster'
sfateontheNgwane' shands.He'sbeen
prot
ecti
veofher,it
'ssounlikehimtojustpul
lout
fr
om everythi
ng.
“
MaybeMaMbonambiwasri
ght.Imeanever
ything
i
scor
respondi
ngt
owhatshecl
aimed,t
hepaternit
y
resul
tsshowingthatyoutwoarebloodrelated,
Ndabahatingthatfamil
yforunknownreasonsand
nowMazwakhei sgone.
”Busikhayaint
erprets
thought
ful
ly.
“Maybehefoundoutthetr
uthandfail
edto
stomachi
t.Youallknowhowhar d-
headedhei
s.”
Mnothoshruggi
nghisshoulder
s.
“He'
sli
kesomeoneIcan'
tmenti
on,
”Mndenisays
andrecei
vesadeadeyef
rom Busi
khaya.
“Sowhatar ewegoingtodo?”Alleyesgot o
Busikhaya.Thi
sconcernsthebi
ologicalf
atherof
hisson.Mazwakhet ur
nedouttobeQophel o’sreal
fatherandthei
rhalf
-br
other
.Soonerorlaterthey
havet ohatcht
hingsoutandfi
ndawayf orward.
“Wecannotdoanythi
ngunti
lhereachesout.He
keptt
hisf
rom hi
ssist
er,weshoul
dl ethi
m doithi
s
way.Weallknowthekindofapersonheis.”
“
Yeah,
right
.”Mndenicl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
Busikhayai
sget t
ingf
edupwiththemockery.He
excuseshimselfandwal
ksoutforasmoke.His
brot
hersdon'twastet
ime,t
heystar
tdi
scussinghi
m
andhowshadyhei
slat
ely.
“
Isheseei
ngsomeone?
”Mnot
hoaskscur
iousl
y.
“It
hinkIknowwhoi tis.Remembertheladywho
ranovermewi t
hacar ?Hewasl ooki
ngather
str
angelyint
hehospitalandtheywerevibi
ng
secret
ly,
”Ngcwethisays.
“Di
dshelookgenuine?Wecert
ainl
ydon'tneed
anot
herNombuso.For gi
veme,butt
hisQophelo
i
ssuejustpr
ovesthatyoucan'
ttr
ustwomeneasi l
y,
”
Mnothosayswit
hhi shandsl
if
tedup.
“Whatdoyouknowaboutwomen?Younuti
nyour
hand.
”-Mndeni
.
“Shutt
hef
uckup,
youat
tr
actmen,
”Mnot
host
ri
kes
back.
Thestupi
dargumentgoeson,Ngcwet
hidoesn'
t
botherwi
ththem,
hegetsonthephoneandcall
s
Zanamuhla.

Ther
e'sacarpul
li
ngup.Busikhayarai
seshisbrows
andcont
inuespuf
finghi
scigaret
te.Thei
rschedul
e
forthedayi
scl
ear
,they'
rej
ustpassi
ngt
imebef
ore
goinghome.Whocouldt
hisbe?
Aguyi nhismid-t
wentiesstepsoutinadazzli
ng
brownfurcoat,ski
mpyj eanandgreensneakers.In
hishandhe'sholdi
ngabunchoff l
owers.Helooks
veryconfi
dent,
evenBusi khaya'
spier
cingl
ook
doesn'
tint
imidatehim,hekeepshisNaomi
Campbellwalkuntilhestopsinfr
ontofBusikhaya.
Hetakeshisshadesof
f,l
ooksst
rai
ghti
ntohi
seyes
andsmilesver
yfri
endl
y.
“
Am Iattheri
ghtpl
ace?I
'
mlooki
ngf
orMndeni
Mthembu?”
Busikhayai nstant
lyremember
stherest
aurantst
ory
Ngcwet hihadnar rat
edfort
hem.Thi
scannot
happenaf terthemockeryMndeniwasgivi
nghim
i
nsidetheof f
ice!
“
Fol
lowme.”Hi
sfaceremai
nscoldbutdeepdown
i
nsi
dehe'
sdanci
ngli
keapantsul
afrom Sowet
o.
“Wehaveaguest.
”Hewalksinandalleyesgoto
theper
sonbehi
ndhim.Mndenicanfaintanyt
ime,
hisf
acepuf
fsupwi t
hinasecond.
Busikhayai
skindenoughtogi
vehi
sseatt
othe
guestandsqueezeshimsel
fbet
weenNgcwet
hiand
Mndeni .
“
Hel
lo,
”Mnot
hogr
eet
s.
“
Lit
tl
ebr
other
?”Jul
asmi
li
ngevenwi
der
.
“Yes,
andyouare?”Hedoesn'
tret
urnt
hesmil
e.Wel
l,
heiscoldl
ikeBusi
khaya….
andMazwakhe,
ifi
t'
snot
tooearl
ytoadd.
“I'
m Jul
aniKhumal
obutyoucancallmeJul
a.”His
eyesruntoMndeniwholooksl
iket
heuni
versejust
turnedi
tsbackonhi
m.
“
Youhaveacr
ushonmybr
other
?”Busi
khayaasks.
Jula'
sfacebr
ight
ensup.“
That
'sanunder
stat
ement
,
I'
mi nl
ovewit
hhim.”
“
Buthei
snotgay,
”Mnot
hosayswi
thaf
rown.
“AndIdon'
twanthi
mtobe.Ij
ustneedachanceto
showhim howmuchIl
ovehim,”Jul
asaysbol
dly.
“
Whatat
tr
actyout
ohi
m?”Busi
khaya.
“
Ever
ythi
ng.Themuscl
es,
hisvoi
ce,
thewayhe
walksandhowhebreat
hes.
”Hecoul
dgoonandon,
butthesuni
sal
readyset
ti
ngdown.
“Butthat'snotallt
her
eistohim.Heisa
hardwor kingman,goal
-dr
iven,
he'
sgothisnoseon
thegrindingstoneandverysmart
,”Busi
khayasays.
Mndeniremainsdeadqui
et.Ngcwethiistr
yingver
y
hardtohol
dhislaught
erf
rom escaping,Mnotho
keepsnudgi
nghim wit
hanelbowandshowi nghim
Mndeni'
sface.
“
Thequesti
oniswhatar
eyoubr
ingi
ngtothet
abl
e?”
-
Busi
khaya.He'
shavi
ngati
meofhisli
fe.
Jul
alif
tsonel
egoverhi
skneeandl
eans
comfort
abl
yonthechai
r.
“
Not
hing.I
'
mthet
abl
e.”
“
Ohwow!
”Busi
khayal
if
tshi
shandsupi
nsur
render
.
“Let
'sgi
vethem somespace.
”Hedirectst
o
NgcwethiandMnotho,
sti
lli
ndisbel
ief
.
“
Sheist
hewholet
abl
e,i
fthat
'snotaqueenri
ght
t
her
eIdon'
tknowwhati
tis.
”Hechuckles.
Theyhavet
opul
lMnot
hooutoft
hedoor
.He
doesn'
twantt
oleavebef
oreseei
nghowever
ythi
ng
rol
lsout
.
“
Ili
keher
.”Busi
khayasaysast
heymaket
hei
rway
t
othecar
s.
“I
t'
snother,i
t'
shi
m.Zanamuhlawillki
llyoui
fshe
hearsyousayi
ngthat
.”-
Ngcwethi
.
“
What
everhei
s,Iwantt
oseehi
mfr
equent
ly.
”
Mnothogruntsi
ndisappr
oval
.Asfunasitisseei
ng
Mndenigett
inguncomfor
tabl
e,hedoesn'
twanthi
s
br
othert
odat emen.
[
11/
19,
09:
47] :Chapt
erEi
ght
een
ZANAMUHLA

Lobolanegotiat
ionsar
etaki
ngpl
aceintwoweeks.
I'
m veryexcit
edandwishNgcwethicanshar
ethe
sameexci t
ement .
He'sdefi
nit
elynotgivingthereacti
onIexpect
ed,
gi
vent hebumpyr oadt hatl
edusher e,
weshouldbe
overthemoon.He' sinoneoft hosemoods,you
onl
ygetonewor doutofhi
smout h,he'
skeepi
ng
di
stancef
rom ever
yoneandt hatmakesmewonder
whyheevenbroughtmeher e.
Hewalkst
hrought
hedoorandst
andsnextt
othe
bed.
“
You'
reher
e?”heasks.
Wher eel
secanIbe?Everyoneknowsmebutthat
doesn'
tmeanIcanjustr
oam aroundtheyar
d.
“
Yes,
”Igi
vehim at
asteofhisownmedi
cine.One
wor
danswerandI'
m backtomybusi
ness.
“
Whoar
eyouchat
ti
ngt
o?”Hepeeksovermyphone.
Reall
ynow?Igivehi
m al
ookandtossi
tonthe
pil
low.Hesi
tsnextt
omeandrubshispal
msonhi
s
knees.
“
You'
vehar
dlyspentt
imewi
thmesinceyesterday,
i
tmakesmewonderwhyI'
m evenher
e,”Isay.
“I
'm sorr
y.”That'
sit
?Iloveanapol ogywhen
expressedfortheri
ghtreasons,andhe'sonl
y
sayi
ngsor rytocuttheconversat
ion.
“
Ngcwet
hi,
thi
sishowl
if
ewi
thyoui
sli
ke?Oneday
youwakeanddeci
detoshutever
yoneout
?”Idon'
t
evenknowhowpeopl
eli
vewithhim.
“
Zanamuhlanottoday!
”Heshut
shi
seyesand
r
eleasesadeepbreat
h.
“Weareof
ftoday?”I
'm onmyfeet
,eyebr
owr ai
sed
andbrewi
nganger.Soonedaywear eonandone
daywearenot!Basi
cal
lyever
yoneisunderhis
mercy.
“Ungat
het
hi(
Don'tr
aiseyourvoice)
”It
'sawarni
ng.I
nodmyhead,sl
idei
ntomyf li
p-f
lopsandwalkout.

Iwalkinthekit
chen,MnothoandQophel oare
washingdishes.MaMbonambidoesn' twantme
hereyet,
shehast oformall
ygivemeadoekt owear
assoonasIof fi
cial
lybecomeaf i
ance,butt
odayI
needtogetawayf rom hersonandhismoods.
“
Doyouneedanyhel
p?”Iask.
“
Yes,
”-Qophel
o.
“
Nooo!
”Mnot
hoobj
ect
s.
Ist
andst
il
l,
looki
ngateachoft
hem wi
thmy
eyebr
owsl
if
ted.
“
Youcangorel
axi
nyourr
oom,
wegott
his,
”
Mnot
hosays.
Ican'
tmi
sst
hedi
spl
easur
eonQophel
o’sf
ace.
“
Iact
uall
ywantt obeawayf
rom t
her
oom t
hat
's
whyI
'm her
e,”Isay.
Mnothof r
owns.Igr abacl othandst artwiping
ri
nsedplateswithoutwai tingforfur t
herobject i
ons.
Theyletmebe, afterpacki ngthepl atesinsi
det he
cupboardwegot ot hemai nhouseandwat chTV.I t
hasn'
treall
ysunki nt omet hatQophel oisa
Ngwane.Mybr other'sson!WhatIdon' tunder stand
i
swhyhef it
ssomuchi nthisfami l
y?Doesn' t
Ngcwethisenset hingsl i
ket hi
s?Okay, maybenot .
Buteveryoneinthisf amilyiswear ingisi
phandl a,
i
sn'tQophelosupposedt obesi ckf orwear i
ng
i
siphandlathatdoesn' tbelongtohi m?I mpepho
fr
om strangeancest orsshoul daffectshim some
way.
Busi
khayaarr
ivesjustaf
terei
ght,hehasbeen
AWOLt hewholeday.Iwonderifhe'
sseei
ng
someone.He' shandli
ngQophelo’
sissueprett
y
amazing,l
ikehe'sgetti
ngcomfortsomewhere.I
meani t
'snotalightdi
scoveryt
of i
ndoutthatyou'
re
nott
hef atherofachil
dyou'verai
sedfrom bi
rt
h.
“
Wher
e'sNgcwet
hi?
”He'
slooki
ngatme.
Ishrugmyshoul
der
s.Concer
nrisesi
nhiseyes.He
tur
nstoMnothoandnar
rowshiseyes.
“
He'
sdown,
”Mnot
hosays.
“Ooh.”Itsoundslikethey'reusedt
oit.Theyst
art
discussingbusiness,theirvoi
cesr
iseabovethe
movi e.Qopheloisthef i
rstonetol
eave,Ist
ayafew
mi nutesthenbidgoodni ght.
Passi
ngbyMaMbonambibedroom’swindowIhear
MndeniandNgcwet
hi’
svoi
cesinsi
de.
“
Idon'
thaveagoodf
eel
ingaboutt
his.
”-Ngcwet
hi.
“
NeitherdoI,
butyouwantedthi
sbaf
oandi t
's
f
inal
lyhappening.He'
sagrownman,heknows
whathe'sdoi
ng.”Mndeni
.
Ther
e'ssomesi
lence.
“
Ndabawoul
d'vewant
edhi
mint
hef
ami
ly
busi
ness,
”-Mndeniagai
n.
“
Idon'
tseei
thappeni
ng,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
Thatsil
enceagain.I
t’
scoldout
side,Idon'
tknow
whatthey’r
etal
kingaboutandeavesdroppi
ngat
youri
n-lawscausesbadlucks.

It
'salmost10pm andNgcwethii
snotbackf r
om hi
s
mot her
'sbedroom.Sohedidn'
thearanyt
hingIsai
d
abouthim bri
ngingmehereandnotspendingti
me
withme?Nowhewant smet osleepal
lal
one.
Icallhim andhi
sphoneri
ngsunderthepill
ow.Even
great!Il
etoutasighandsl
ideundercovers.His
phonekeepsbeepi ngwi
thnoti
fi
cat
ions.Idon't
snoopt hroughpeopl
e'
sphonesbuthisistempting
me.
OnlyMTNt extsyoumor ethanyourboyf r
iend.I
readandmar kmessagesasunr ead,t
hepowerof
t
echnol ogy!JustasIpressthelockbut t
onIseea
famili
arcellphonenumber.Whyt heheckis
Vuyiswat exti
ngmyboyf ri
end?!Ididn'
tevenknow
t
heykneweachot hert
othislevel.
There'
smoneyi nvolved,morel
ikepaymentofsome
sort
.He'sbeenquest i
oningheraboutalcohol
.Why
doesitmattert
ohi mi fVuyi
swadrinks?Theyhada
heatedargumentabouti t
…..
andwhyi smynamei n
thei
rconversat
ions?
They'
real socal
li
ngeachot her
,notf
requentlyas
theytext.Iputt
hephoneawayconf usedashel l.
Whati sgoingonher e?Ical
lVuyi
swarightaway.
Shedr opsmycal landfoll
owsupwithat extsayi
ng
we'l
ltalkinthemor ni
ng.

I'
m abombwaiti
ngt oexpl
ode.Howlonghavethey
knowneachother?Befor
emeoraf t
erme.It
'st
oo
earl
ytobecheatedon.Tooearl
y.
“
You'
rest
il
lup?
”
HethoughtI'dbefastasl
eepandhe' dchatto
Vuyiswawithoutanydist
urbances.Iremainquiet
andwat chashetakeshisclothesout,cl
osesthe
doorandclimbsonbedl i
keWor l
dWarI I
Iisn'
tabout
tobegin.
“
Youknowmyl
ove,
I'
m wor
ri
edaboutyourbr
other
excl
udinghimselff
rom everyt
hing.Ifhereal
ly
acceptusheshouldatleastbet her
eont hedayof
negoti
ati
ons.”Heturnsoffthel
ight,cl
osesthe
spacebetweenusandwr apshisarmsar oundme.
“
Didhesayanyt
hing?
”heasks.
Ireachupandswit
chtheli
ghton.Ineedt
oseehi
s
facewhenhetr
iestoexpl
ainhowheknows
Vuyiswa.
“
Okaywhat'sgoi
ngon?
”heasksashi
seyesmeet
myicygl
are.
“What'
sgoi ngonbetweenyouandVuyi swa? ”Iask
andhegi vesmet heexactreact
ionIwant edtosee.
Eyesallout,hi
sAdam' sappletwitchi
ngwi t
hahuge
gulpandhi sbodyinst
antl
yf r
eezingbesideme.
“Not
hing.Whydoyouask?
”Hef
inal
lymanagest
o
ask.
“Com’on,youcandobett
erthant
hat."Cheati
ngand
l
yingcomeasaspecialcombooftalents.I
fyou
cheatlyi
ngcomesnat
urall
y.Howlonghashebeen
i
nt hi
sdepart
ment?He'
ssoi mmatur
e.
“Idon'
tknowwhatyou'
ret
alki
ngaboutZano,
”he
says.
“Isawhertext
sinyourphone.Ij
ustwanttoknow
thetr
uth.Wasitmebeforeherorherbef
oreme?”I
ask.
“
Babepl
easecal
m down,
it'
snotwhatyout
hink.
”
Oh,thef
amousl
ine!Ir
ollof
fbedandf
indmy
cl
othes.
“
Pleaset
akemehome,
”Isay.
“I'
m notcheat
ingZanamuhla.
”He’
sinfrontofme,
grabbingmyclothesawayandpushi
ngmeback.I
hitthewallwi
thmybackandIcannotreverseany
furt
her.
“Canwetalkaboutthi
ssomeot herday.Youare
alr
eadyangryZano,you'
regoingtorai
seyourvoice
atmeandIwon' tbeabletohandlei
t.”
He'sful
lofsurpr
ises.SoI'
m supposedtopauseal
l
theseemotionsandhur tf
oranot
herday.I
'm
supposedtojustswitchbacktonormal
cyandact
asifnothi
nghappenedbecauset heMight
y
Ngcwet
hihasbeenhavi
ngabadday.
“Ei
theryou'
ret
ell
ingmenoworyou'
ret
aki
ngme
backhome,”Isay.
“
Zano!
”Hesi
ghsandst
epsback.
“
Areyousl
eepi
ngwi
thher
?”
“Geez!NoZanamuhl a.”Hegrabshisheadand
curses.Ifol
lowhim andblockhisway.He'
spant
ing.
Iwantt hetr
uthandIwanti tnow.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”hesays.
Fuckl
if
e!Thef
amousquest
ionwoul
dbe,wheredi
d
Igowrong,
andhe'
l
lobvi
oussayi
t'
snotmeit'
shim.
“Myfri
endNgcwet hi
?Outofallpeopleyoucoul
d've
cheat
edonmewi th!
”Itur
naround,tear
sare
thr
eat
eningtoburstout.Whywouldhehur tmeli
ke
thi
saft
ereveryt
hingI'
vebeenthroughforhim.
“
Ididnotcheat
.”Ther
e'ssomuchf
earinhisvoi
ce.I
f
eelhi
m behindme,hecaptur
esmeinhisarmsand
t
urnsmyf acetohi
m.
“
Ihi
redhert
okeepaneyeonyou.
”
WTF!
!!
!
“
Idon'
tunder
stand.
”Myvoi
cei
str
embl
ing.
“SthandwasamiIswearIdi
dn'tdoallt
histospi
te
you.Ineededtomakesurethatyouwereokayall
thetime.Get
ti
ngyoufri
endswast heonlyway.”
Myearsmi
ghtbepl
ayi
ngt
ri
cksonme.Thi
scan'
tbe
t
rue.
“
Youhi
redVuyi
swat
oactl
ikemyf
ri
end?
”Iask.
“Iwantedyoutobecomfortabl
ewhenyougetther
e.
Youhadnof ri
endsprevi
ouslyandIknewt
hatyou
needed……”
Jeeeez!HethinksheknowswhatIneed.Fir
stitwas
thebursar
y,nowmyf r
iendswhom Ishar
eakitchen
with,
arefake.Allt
hiswasdoneforZanamuhla’
s
benefi
t?!
“Noyoudidthi
sforyourownsel
fi
shreasons.No
wonderVuyi
swaalwayskeeptabsonme, she'
s
monit
ori
ngmyever ymovesothatshecanreport
backtoyouandearnmoney.”
Thi
shur
tsmor
e.Cheat
ingwasabet
teropt
ionf
or
him.Iwould'
vethrownatant
rum,blockedhimf
ora
fewdaysandf or
gavehim.MaybeIwoul d'
ve
remindedhimtwiceaweekaboutthepainheput
met hroughandbroughti
tupasmydef ense
wheneverIdohim wrong.
“
Areyoupayi
ngBont
leaswel
l?
”Iask.
“
Yes.
”
“
WowNgcwet
hi!
”
Thi
sexhaustsme.Isinkonbed, li
ftt
hecoversto
mychestanddigesteverything.I'
m capableof
makingmyownf ri
ends,mybr otherwaspayingfor
myeducati
onandmai ntainingme.Onef ooti
nmy
l
if
eandNgcwethithinkshecandoever yt
hingbet
ter
.
“
Icansl
eepi
nthenextr
oom unt
il
……”
“No!”Whatt hef
uckhet hi
nksisgoingonhere?He'
s
notrunningawayf r
om thefi
reheignit
ed.He'
s
sleepi
ngr i
ghthereonbedwi thme.I'
m goi
ngtosit
l
ikethis,
lostindeepthoughtsandnotsayi
ng
anotherword.Hewon' tbesurewhatmynextmove
i
s.He'llt
ossandt ur
nt hewholeni
ght.
Hecli
mbsonbedsl owlyandslidesundercover
s
l
ikeasicksnake.Iswitcht
helightoffandsitwi
th
mybackl eani
ngont heheadboard.
Alongmomentofsi l
encepasses.He'
snotasleep,
noteventr
yingt
o,eventual
lyhecl
earshi
sthroat
andli
ftshi
sheadup.
“
Pleasepuni
shmei
fyouwantt
o,”hesays.
I
t'
snotl
ikeIcanspankhi
m,he'
stal
landhuge.
“
SleepNgcwet
hi,
I'
m mour
ningt
hef
akef
ri
endshi
p.”
.
.
-
-
Hewakesupbef oremeandthatmakesmeangr y.I
wantedtowakeupf i
rst
,hedest
royedmyplansas
heusual.I
'
mleavinglat
er,
goingbacktomyfake
fri
ends,
Idon'
tevenknowhowI ’m goi
ngt
oface
them.
“Iwashopi
ngwe'
dtal
kbeforebreakfast
.”Hestands
bythedoor
,br
ushi
nghisneckandl ooki
ngugly.
“Whatel
sehaveyoudone?Pai dnat
ureformy
oxygenbecauseyou'
reNgcwethiMthembu?”Itie
thescar
faroundmyhead,givehimtheonce-over
l
ookandwal kout.
Idon'tknowifanyoneevercooksbr eakfasthere
besidesMndeni.Ioffert ohel
p,heasksthatI
prepareNgcwethi'
sbr eakfastsi
ncehe'
smaki ng
breadandeggs.Pr et
endi ngtobehappyi san
exhaustingspor
treally.Ihavetosmil
eever yt
imehe
bri
ngsuphi sname, whi channoysmet othecoreat
themoment .
“
Youneedtogetaboyfr i
endf
oryourfr
iend.I
'm
r
eall
yti
redofhi
m stal
kingme,he'
sgoingtoturnme
i
ntosomeoneI'
m not.
”Hepassesat r
aytome.
“
Jul
ani
?”If
rown.
“
I'
m goi
ngt
ohur
thi
m.I
t'
snotf
unnyanymor
e.”
Julawhathaveyoudoneagai
n?Ihear
daboutthe
fl
owersstuntandIwashopi
ngitwast
helast
att
empt.
“
Iwi
llt
alkt
ohi
m.Hopef
ull
yhewasnothi
redt
oo.
”
“
Whati
sthatsupposedt
omean?
”heasks.
“Yourbrot
herhasthist
alentofhi
ri
ngpeopleto
comei nt
omyl i
fe.Iwoul
dn'tbesurpr
isedi
fJulani
washiredaswel l
.”
“That
'shect
ic.
”Hefakest
heshockbutIcansee
ri
ghtthr
oughhim.Heknowseveryt
hinghi
sbrot
her
does.
“
ButI'
m goi
ngtodealwit
hhim andhewon'
tknow
what
'scomingt
ohim,”Isay.
Hi
seyeswi
den.“
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odot
ohi
m?”
“Idon' tknowyetbuthisancest orswon'
tbeablet
o
helphi m whenIdo. ”Ipickthetrayandwal
kout.
Passi ngt hemessaget hroughat r
ait
ori
smore
effectivethanelect
ronicmai l
.IknowNgcwethiwi
ll
receivet hisupdat
eimmedi at
ely.
Wegat herar
oundthet abl
eandhavebr eakf
ast
.I
didn'
twarm Ngcwethi'
sfood, he'
shavi
ngcoldl
eft
-
oversanddoesn'
tseem t opickanyoff
ence.I
should'
veaddedsalt,
Iwoul d'
velovedt
ohearhim
l
ayingouthiscomplaint.
“Zanamuhl
aifyourbrot
hercal
lspl
easelethi
m
knowthatIwouldl
iketospeakwit
hhim oneday,
”
MaMbonambisays.
There'sast r
angel ookshar edonthetabl
e.Inodmy
headandcar ryoneat i
ng.Mazwakhemayhave
madepeacewi t
hmyr elat
ionshipwit
hNgcwet hibut
Idoubthe' sinthatplaceofhol di
ngconversati
ons
wit
ht heMt hembusyet .Imeanhegaveupl obola
negotiat
ions,there'
sasl im chanceofhim get
ti
ng
onthecal lwithMaMbonambi .
.
.
NONTOBEKO

“
Her
eisyourt
eaSi
s.”
Jeez!Isheaspyorsomethi
ng?Hemovesver
y
quiet
,nofoot
step,
nobreat
h.
“
Idi
dn'
tmeant
oscar
eyou,
”hesays.
Deepbr
eat
h.If
orceoutasmi
le.
“I
t'
sfineMshibeandt hankyouforthetea.I
t'sj
ust
whatIneededf orthi
scoldday.
”Ipusht helapt
op
asi
deandcl earscatt
ereddocumentsfrom thedesk.
Workinghomei sn'
tfunasIthoughtitwouldbe.
There'
smor epressureandendl
esscalls.Ihave
moref unt
hingsIcoulddo,li
kelyi
ngonbedand
l
ist
eningtosomeI ndieAri
e.
“
Idi
dnotmakei
t,
”hesays.
Il
ookupwit
hafrown.Whati
sthatsupposedto
mean?He'
stheonl
ypersonI
'
ml i
vingwit
hhere.
“
Youdi
dnot
?”Iask.
Hiseyesst ayont hecup.Am Imi ssingsomething?
Thisisoneofmyf avouri
teteacups…. .wel
lexcept
thatithasanewdesi gnt hatIdon'tknowanything
of;hisini
ti
als,aredhear tandmyi ni
tial
satthe
bottom.It'
samyst eryhowt het eaimmediatel
y
tastesdiff
erentl
y,mysmi lereachesmyear sand
Mshi belookshelluncomf or
table.
“
Ilovei
t.
”I'
m beami
ngwi
thj
oy,
overacupoft
ea.
Thi
sboycannotevenf
orceasmil
e,al
lhedoesi
s
l
ookar
oundeveryti
meli
kehe'
sexpect
ingsomeone
t
oat
tackhi
m.
“Hemadet
heteaandlef
t.Hedidn'
twanttodi
stur
b
you,
hesai
dhe'
llcomebacklat
er,
”hesays.
Myhear tsinksbutI'
m comfor
tedbyt
hecupoftea.
Hepoppedi ndur
ingtheday,mademeacupof
greentea,paidatt
enti
onint
oaddingabi
tofgi
nger,
andthenlef t
.
“Ican'
tbelievehealr
eadyknowwhatIl i
keandhow
Ili
keit.I
sittooearl
ytocallitl
ove?”Isipanda
giggl
eslipsoutasIgof orasecondsi p.I
'mli
kea
teenagerfall
ingi
nloveforthefi
rstti
me.
“
Idon'
thavemuchf
ait
hinl
ovesoIwoul
dn'
tknow.
”
Aft
erever
ythi
ngI'vebeent hroughIshouldn'
thave
anyfai
thei
ther
,butmyhear tisthatst
ubborn.It
l
oves,t
heybreakit,
itlooksforsomeoneel sethat'
s
goi
ngtobreakitagain.
Ipickupthephoneandcal
lhim assoonasMshi
be
walksoutofmystudy.I
tsoundsli
kehe'sont
he
road.
“
Youl
eftwi
thoutsayi
nghel
lo.
”
“
Youwer
ebusy.
”
“Butst
il
lyoucoul
d'vej
ustpeekedthr
ought
hedoor
andwavedyourhandbeforeleavi
ng.
”
There’
sahoot .Ishoul
dst opbei
nganui
sancehe'
s
dri
vingforgoodness’sake.
“Iwil
lcal ll
ater,
dr i
vesafel
y.”Iendthecallandget
backt owor k.Ihaven'tputanamet owhatI '
m
feel
ingf orhim yet,meanwhilehe'sdecl
aredclear
ly
whathewant sfrom meandhe' snotbackingdown.
Onet hingIappr eciat
eisthathe'snotgi
vingme
pressurenorr ushingmei ntoadmi t
ti
nganything.

Thedoorshi
ft
sandopens.
Thi
sboyt
reat
smel
ikehi
spr
e-schoolst
udent
.
“Mshibeyouneedtofindahobbyar oundthehouse.
IfIneedanyt
hingIwil
lshout.”Look,Ievensentthi
s
emailtothewrongaddress.“Aargh,fuck!I
t'
sdot-
co
-dot-
zanotdot
-com,”Itel
lthestupidkeyboard.
Someonechuckl
esasIpuncht
hebut
tonswi
th
i
rri
tat
ion.
“Mshi
…….
.”Whatonear
th!Whendi
dthi
sonegot
her
eandhow?
“
Busi
khaya!
”
Ifor
gothowint
ensehi
seyesare.Heremai
nsbythe
door,bor
ingmewit
hhi
sstareanddoesn'
twal
kin.
“Icametosayhell
o.”Hewaveshi
shandandsmi
rks.
Heseriousl
yneedstoacthi
sage,
Idi
dn'
tmean
l
iter
all
y…urgh!
“You'
rei
mpossi bleBusi
khaya.
”Mylipscur
veint
oa
stupi
dgrin.Allt
hisbl
ushingcan'
tbegoodformy
cheeks'
health.
“
Makemepossibl
ethen.
”Hetuckshi
shandsi
nsi
de
t
hepocket
sandfi
nal
lywalksi
n.
Mythr
oati
sdri
ert
hanKal
ahar
i.Isi
tupst
rai
ghtand
t
ryt
olookbol
d.
“
How?
”Iask.
“Havelunchwi
thmet
omor
rowasgi
rl
fr
iendand
boyfr
iend.
”
I'
mt akingmywordsback,
he'
snotverypat
ient
.I'
m
sti
llbrokenandhewantsme,
whetherinpi
ecesor
whole.I'
m BobTheBuilderhere,nothi
m.AndI
neverli
veinthehousesI'
vebui l
t,wel
lnotf
orl
ong.
Hecannotbui l
dthebui
lder,i
tmakesnosense.
“Wewillspi
n.”Hetakesouthi
swalletandpul
lsa
coi
n.Icannotbel
ievethi
s.Notevenprimar
yschool
ki
dsplaythi
sgameanymor e.
“I
fit'
saheadI'm yourboyf
ri
endandi fi
t'
satai
l
you'r
emygi r
lf
ri
end.”Doesthatevenmakesense?
Bothresul
tswil
lmeanonet hing,
thathi
m andIar
e
off
ici
all
ydati
ng.
Heplacesitonhispal
m andshowsi
ttome.“
See,
I
'm notcheat
ing.
”
“
Busi
khayat
hisi
sst
upi
d.”
Hepushesbacksomedocument stocr
eat
espace
f
orhisspi
n.Hetwiststhecoi
n,i
tspi
nsandweboth
wat
chwi t
hanti
cipat
ion.
It'
satail
.SoIlosejustl
iket
hat?No,I'
m notlett
ing
thathappen.It
akethecoinandspinitmyself.For
thefi
rstti
mehel et
shissmilebroadens.Ican’
t
beli
eveaspinningcoini
soneoft hethingshefind
amusing.
It
'sat
ailagain.Thi
siswit
chcr
aft
,howisthi
s
possi
ble?Ishould'
veusedmyowncoin,i
twoul
dn'
t
havebetrayedme.
“Tomorr
ow, 12h30ber eadygi
rl
fr
iend.
”Hewi
nks,
blowsakissandwal ksoutli
keacaptai
nwhojust
wonthewor ldcup.
Okayt
hinkNontobeko,
whatar
eyouwear
ing
t
omorrowat12h30???
[
11/
19,
09:
48] :Chapt
erNi
net
een
ZANAMUHLA

Ignori
ngBont l
eiseasy.Ifyoudon'ttalkshedoesn't
tal
k,that'
snatural
lyhowshei s.ButVuyi swa
doesn'tgeti
t.I'
m angryatthem,what everfake
fri
endshipwehadcamet oanendt hedayIf ound
outtheywereget t
ingpaidforit
.
“CanIhel
pyoupack?”She'sal
lovermyface.Il
et
outasighandkeepmyattenti
onatthepi
leof
clot
hesI'
mfoldi
ng.
“
Zanoyou'
rebei
ngunf
air
.Wehaveapol
ogi
zeda
mi l
li
ont i
mes.Ngcwet
hididthi
soutofconcern,you
don'treall
yhaveanabi
li
tytochooserightf
ri
ends,
rememberhowyouoncegotki dnappedand
traf
ficked?”
She'sunbel
ievable!Iwast
raf
fi
ckedandIknow
nothi
ngabouti t
.
“
Soyou'
remybodyguar
d?Adr
unkar
done.
”
“Callmenamesorwhat everyouwant .YesIdo
drinkoccasionall
yandNgcwet hiki
ndofhi redmeto
befriendagirlnamedZanamuhl a,butthatdoesn'
t
changet hefactthatIcareaboutyou.”Shest eps
closer,l
if
tsonedr essandf oldsi
tthewr ongway.
Mygoodness!Shecannotevenf ol
dclothes.Tel
l
hertodashal cohol,t
hepr ofessi
onali
sm willamaze
you.
“Becauseyou'
regett
ingpai
dt ocarebit
ch!”Izi
pthe
bagandt akei
ttothewardrobe.Idon'
tneedtoo
manycl ot
hes,
I'
llbegonefortwodaysonly.
“Sowhat?Hehasmoneyfloat
inginhi
sbank,i
t'
s
notl
ikeI'
mri
ppinghi
m of
fandmaki nghi
m poor.
”
Shecli
mbsonbedandstartst
akingsel
fi
es.She'
s
i
mpossi
ble,
deal
ingwi
thheri
sanext
remespor
t.
“Iwant
edyouguystocomewi thmebutIfoundout
youweremyhiredf
ri
ends.Idealwi
thl
otof
pret
enseathomeandIdon'tneedmor
e,especi
all
y
tomorr
ow.”
“IsMazwicomi ng?”That'sal
lshe'swor ri
edabout ?I
j
usttoldherIcancell
edt hei
rinvit
ation.DeepdownI
washopi ngshe'dbegtocome, Iknowherf akeass
wouldkeepaneyeont hingsandmakesur ethatmy
fakeasssist
ersdon'tmesst hingsup.I '
mt hefirst
daughtertobeaskedf orahandi nmar r
iageandI
honestl
ydon'ttrustt
hem wi t
hmyf ood.Tomor rowI
won'tbeabletokeepaneyeonever ythi
ng.
“
No,
he’
snotcomi
ng,
”Isay.
“
That
'ssounl
ikehi
m.”
SheknowshowMazwakhei
sl i
ke?Ihopeshewas
nothi
redt
okeept
absonhim aswell
.
“Workiskeepi
nghi m busy.”Ishr
ugmyshoul ders.
Findi
ngouthehasasonhaspushedhi mt owork
evenmor eharder.Iknowhef eel
sunderpressure
competingagainstBusikhayaforthef
atherrol
e.
Busi
khayacanaf
for
dtogiveQophel
oanythi
ngand
whenMazwakheoff
ici
all
ymeethim hehast
okeep
upwit
hthesamestandar
ds.
“Whydon'twecallhim? ”Shepul
lsherbr
aids,
adj
ustsherdressandt henscrol
lsdownherphone.
Icr
awlonbedandsi tnexttoher
.Imissmystuck-
upbrotherandhisrules.
Videocall?Ihadnocl ueandshemadesur ethat
she'st
hebeaut i
fulone,br
aidsti
edappr opri
atel
y
anddressr eveali
ngapoppi ngcleavage.Igotno
heads-up,I'
ml eaningoverhershoulderlooki
ngugly
AF,oil
yf aceandunr ulyhai
r.
Well,
Ididn'tt
hinkMazwakhewoul dansweravideo-
cal
l.He'
snotapeopl e'
sperson.Li
tt
let
hingsabout
humanbei ngs'int
eract
ionsannoyhim,oneofthem
bei
ngf r
equentcalls.
Hisfacepopsonthescr een.He'
slyi
ngonbed
i
nsideofwhatlooksli
keashack.I shenotin
Johannesbur
g?IsitnotlikeinTVs?Tallbui
ldi
ngs
andfancyint
eri
ordesigns.Inmyhead
Johannesbur
giscrowdedbycel ebri
ti
es,youcannot
l
eavetownwi thoutbumpi ngi ntoSomi ziorBonang,
andeveryonelivetheli
feoft heirdreamst her
e.I
meanallcelebrit
iesl
ivethere, aspir
ingsinger
s
becomeinternati
onalstarswhent heymakei tthat
si
de.Iwasf ooli
shlyhopingt oseeMakhadzi
danci
ngsomewher einhisbackgr ound.
“
Areyoui
nJohannesbur
g?”Iask.
Heseesmeandscr
atcheshi
shead.
“
Hlahl
ahowar
eyou?
”
“
I'
m good.Wher
ear
eyou?
”
“
Inmyshack.
”
Hel ivesi
nashack?Likehelef
tourfancyhomef or
this.Okaymaybenotfancy,
butit
'sbuil
dinconcret
e
blocks,pai
ntedbeaut
if
ull
ywithpr
operlyor
ganized
wal l
s.
“
Areyouwel
l?
”Vuyi
swaaskswi
thconcer
n.
“
I'
mtr
ying.Iwi
llgett
her
esoon.
”
Guil
tki
cksi
n.I
'm moreconcernedaboutt
heshack
notbei
ngmyidealJohannesburgandmyfake
fr
iendhadt
oaskhowhei sbeforeme.Somuchf or
asi
ster
!
“
Whatdoyoumeanyou' r
et r
ying?I
sthereanyt
hing
wrong?”Vuyi
swa.Ist
il
ldon'tunderst
andwhyshe
worri
esaboutMazwakhet hi
smuch…. Ohmybad,
i
t'
sMazwi ,i
naveryverysofttone.
“No.I'
mjust…..
.”Hepausesandlet
soutaheavy
sigh.“
Ihavealotofwork,t
here'
snoti
metorestbut
I'
m notcomplaini
ng.
”
Hisfacebadlyneedsarest,
youcant ellt
hathe'
s
sl
avi
ngandnott aki
ngcareofhi
msel fverywell
.But
he'
snott heonetotakeadvi
cesfrom people.He
al
wayst hinkt
hatheknowswhathe' sdoing.Ifi
t
wasupt omehe' dcuthi
mselfsomesl ackandtake
somedaysof ftopamperhimself
.
“TomorrowI
'm goinghomef orl
obol
anegoti
ati
ons.I
sti
llwi
shyoucouldbet her
ebutIunder
standthat
youhavetowork,”Isay.
“Don'
tforgetwhatIsai
d,keepyoureyesopen
Hlahl
a.”
I
'm wor
ri
edaboutt
hattoo.Iwon'
tbeabl
etokeep
myeyesever
ywherebutIdon'
twanthi
mt oworr
y.I
assur
ehi
mthatI
'
llst
ayonguar
d.

Vuyiswalooksworriedforsomer easons.Ireall
y
wanttostayangryatt hem butsomehowIneed
them.Bontlei
sreall
ygoodi nthekitchen,I
'dliketo
haveherprepari
ngf oodforabakhongiratherthan
Zandil
eandKhet hi
le.Vuyiswacanhaveherci der
s
whil
emaki ngsurethatnoonemessesmybi gday.
“
Idon'
thavemoney,butcanyouguyscomewi
th
metomorr
ow?”Iask.
Bontle'
sfacel i
ghtsup.Sherisesfr
om thecouch
she'sbeengr oundedonthewhol eday.“Ar
eyou
sure?LikeIdon'tmindcomi ng,I
’devenusemyown
moneyt otravelandstuff
.”
“ThanksF,andyouF?”It
urnandl
ookatVuyi
swa.F
standsforf
akebytheway.
“
Ihavenot
hingt
owear
,Ihavet
ohi
ttheshops
l
ater
.”
Shecanopenabout
iquef
rom herwar
drobe,Idon'
t
knowwhatshemeansbysayi
ngshedoesn'thave
anyt
hingt
owear
.
“
Thankyouguys.Idon'
ttr
ustmyf
amilythatmuch,
I
'
llneedyout
okeepaneyeoneveryt
hing.”
“
Don'
twor
ry,
wear
egoi
ngwi
thyou,
”Bont
le.
Thedoorswi
ngsopen……
“Goi
ngwithhert
owhere?”Jular
eal
lydoesn'
thave
anymanners.Hemakeshiswayin,
sit
scomf or
tabl
y
onthecouchandbor
euswi thhi
sstar
e.
“WasJul
anotsupposedtof i
ndout?Wherear
eyou
al
lgoi
ngandwhyam Inoti nvi
ted?
”Heli
ftshi
sleg
overt
hekneeandlooksateachofuswitha
demandi
ngface.
“Iaskedthem tocomehomewi t
hmet omor
rowand
helpwithpreparat
ionsandst
uff
,”Isay.
“
AndI'm notaskedtocomebecause….?”Hedr i
ll
s
mewithani cyst
are.Idon'
tknowhowt oexplai
n
t
hist
ohim.Wedon' thavegaysbackhome,my
f
amil
yhasnevermetagayper sonandtheir
r
eact
ionmi ghtoff
endhim.
“
Youdon'
twantt
hem t
oknowt
hatyouhaveagay
fr
iend?”Hurtli
nesuphi
sbeaut
if
ulfaceandIfeela
knockofguilti
nmystomach.He'
sthereal
istand
he'snotgett
ingpai
dtobemyfri
end.Ishouldbe
tr
ansparentwithhi
m.
“TheycanbemeanJulani
,Idon'
twantt
hem t
ohur
t
yourpreci
ousest
eem,
”Isay.
“Lookhere…"Helift
shisTeeupandt urnsaround.
WellIdon'tseeanythi
ngoutofordi
nary,it
'sjusthi
s
thi
ntatt
ooedbackt hatweallhaveseenami l
li
on
ti
mes.“Ihaveacr ocodi
le’
sskin,
yourfather'
s12
wivesand50si bl
ingscannotdoanythi
ng.I '
mt he
Croc,
”hesays.
12wi
vesand50sibl
ings?Doeshet
hinkmyf
ather
wasKi
ngMswatiorsomethi
ng.
“OkayCroc,you'
reinvit
ed.
”Iputmyhandsupi n
surr
ender.Theplanningbegi
ns,Bont
lealr
eadyhas
asuitabl
emenui nherheadwhi l
eJulaandVuyiswa
areonlyworri
edaboutwhattowear .
.
.
Nobodyhassai danythi
ngaboutJul a,
they'
re
keepingi
tatthesidesofthei
reyes.Hischoiceof
clot
hingi
ssur el
ygrabbi
nghim alotofattenti
onand
I'
veseenKhethil
eandZandi l
esharinglooksever
y
nowandt hen.
TheMt hembushavear ri
ved.It'
sBusi khayaand
threeothermen.Myhear tisdyingtobei nt hat
rondavelwher et
henegotiati
onsar eheld.There
wasnodr amaasIhadexpect ed,Nkanyi soasked
them tocl eansethepr
emi seswi t
hagoatf orallt
he
havoct hey'vecaused,
afterthattheywer eal l
owed
tocomei nside.

Mamkhul upushesthedoorandwal ksin.Bont

lei
s
thekit
chenqueen,eveni ftheywantedtobepartof
thecooki
ngt heywouldn’tbecausenobodyknows
whatthehellshe'
smaki ng.“Theywantt oknowif
youacknowledgethosepeopl easyourf ut
urei
n-
l
awsornot ,
”shesaysandhervoi celacks
exci
tement.Shecouldatl eastf
akeitli
keZandil
e.
Jul
ajumpsof
fthechai
randr
ushest
omewi
th
make-upbr
ushes.Iknewhe'dexagger
ate
ever
ythi
ng,
it'
snotli
keI'
m gett
ingmarri
ed,andthe
Mthembusknowme, ther
e'snoreasontoi
mpr ess.
“Menareout
side.
”Mamkhululooki
ngatJul
a.I
knewthi
swasgoingtohappensoonerorl
ater
.
“Heprefer
sbeingaroundus,”Ii
nter
fer
ebefor
eJul
a
canrespond.Shedoesn'tgi
vememor ethana
secondofheratt
ention,
hereyesarefi
xedonJul
ani
.
“
Hemustgoski
nthegoatout
side,
”Khet
hil
e.
Idon'tknowwhysheal waysf eeltheneedt
ot hrow
i
nherquar terbr
ainineveryt
hing.There'
saneye
batt
lebetweenherandI .Icantolerat
eever
yone,
butnother.I'
vealwaysfeltl
ikewear ein
compet i
ti
onofsomesor t.Nomat terwhati
tis,she
hasneverbeenonmysi de.
Nkanyi
sowalks.Heinst
ructst
hatIfi
nishupand
comeimmediatel
y.Ihat
et hel
ookonhi sf
ace,
it'
s
notwel
comingatallandthatmakesmewonder
howhe'st
reati
ngabakhongi.
“
Andyou?
”He'
slooki
ngatJul
ani
.
“
He'
shel
pingout
,”Ij
umpi
nqui
ckl
y.
“
Menar
eout
side.
”
Juladoesn'
tknowwhattodo.Ever
yoneisgl
aringat
him,Nkanyi
soisreadyt
ograbhim byt
hearm
shouldhebenotoutwit
hint
henexttwominutes.
“Can'
the……?”Iswall
owmywor dsasNkanyiso
aggressi
vel
ypull
shim outt
hedoor.Thi
siswhyI
neededMazwakheher e,
hewouldn'
thaveal
lowed
sit
uati
onsli
kethese.
“Mhlengit
urnedintoMahlengi,
”Zandi
lesays.She
spanksKhethil
e’
shandandt heybot
hbreaki nt
o
l
aughter.WeallreadthatbookandMahlengiwasa
tr
ansgender.I
magi neoverf
lowingwit
hstupidit
y!
“Heisgay.
”I'
m ateacher,It
eachmylear
ner
swho
unfor
tunat
elyhavethelowestIQi
nSouthAf
rica.
“Si
xandni
ne.Adam whogett
empt
edbyot
her
Adams.
”
Si
gh!
!!
!!
!
“Ndumi
soisoutsi
de,
”Mamncanesaysalar
med.
Sheser
iousl
ythi
nksJul
aisgoi
ngtoseduceherson?
Wel l
,Nduisfamil
ysoIcan'tsaymuchexceptthat
he'sdefi
nit
elynotJul
a'
stype,oranyone'
stypefor
thatmatter
.

Vuyiswagi vesmeanassur i
nglookbef
oreIleave.I
didn'
tthi
nkI ’dgetnervous,
Iknowt heMthembus
andI'vepreparedforthisdaybefor
ehand,buthereI
am sweatingundert helongdressandscaredto
evenlif
tmyheadup.
“Doyouknowt
hesepeople?They'
reher
etoaskf
or
yourhandi
nmarr
iage.
”-Uncl
eNgwane.
“YesIknowt hem.”Myeyesquickl
yscanaround.
There'
sapl at
eplacedint
hemi ddl
ewithst
acksof
moneyoni t.Shouldi
tbethi
smuch?Imeant hey'
re
notpayinglobol
ayet,t
hey'
renegoti
ati
nghowmuch
i
t'sgoi
ngt obe.
“
Thankyou,
youcanl
eave.
"
Reli
efwashesal lovermeassoonasIst epoutsi
de.
Ishouldgostr
aightt othekit
chenbutmyhear thas
beenrestl
esssinceNkanyi sodraggedJulaoutof
theki
tchen.It
akeat ur
nandheadt ot
hecrowd
gat
her
edbel
owt
hekr
aal
.
He'swashi
ngt hegoat '
sint
est
ines,hisGucci
sl
eevesaresoakedi ndirt
.Daddywi l
lhaveto
arr
angehim atherapistaft
ert
his.Youcant el
lthat
he'
salr
eadytraumat i
zed.
“
Whoaskedyout
owasht
his?
”Iask.
“Idid,
”Zenzeleri
sesupandchal l
engesmewi t
hhis
face.He'
sNkanyi so'
sbestfr
iendandi nhishead
he'sadistantcousinorsomethi
nglikethat.
“
Thisismyf
ri
end,
Iinvi
tedhi
m her
eandyouhadno
r
ight
!”
“
Wendoda, akusheshel
apho.
”Hesayst
oJulaand
t
henlooksbackatme.“Zanamuhl
agotoot
her
women.”
Whodoeshethi
nkheis?Mazwakheisgoi
ngto
br
eakhi
schimpanzeefacewhenhecomesback.
“Jul
alet
'sgoi
nsidetheki
tchen,
”Ii
nst
ructwear
ing
oneofmyno-nonsensefaces.
Zenzel
epull
souti
wisaandf
ixeshisst
areonJul
a.
He'sgr
oundedonthesamespot,
fri
ght
enedtoeven
r
eleaseaf
ullbr
eat
h.
“
Youcannotassaul
tmyguestZenzel
e.”
“Youcanevenaskt hechief
,hi
tt
ingaman'
shead
withiwisadoesnotcountasanassault
.
Siyangcwekasiyi
zinsizwa!”
Ohhewant st
oseethemaroonsi
deofme.Ipul
l
outmyphoneanddi
alMazwakhe'
snumber.I
'
mjust
asecondawayfr
om bl
owi
ngoutonthi
s
chi
mpanzee.
Damn,whyishenotanswer
inghi
sphone?Ical
l
agai
n.Not
hing.
“I
t'
sokayZano, j
usttel
lmewhenyou' r
eal lreadyto
l
eave,”Julanisays.He'
sreal
lynotcomf ortable,
I
wishIhadputmyf ootdownanddi dn'
tinvitehimto
come.Thisi samess, t
hey'
resti
llgoi
ngt omi str
eat
him andforcehimt odothi
ngshe'snotusedt o.
Ialsodon'tunderstandwhyMazwakhei snot
answeringmycal ls.Heshouldbehere,makingsur
e
thateveryt
hingiswel l
.Fi
ne,Igett
hatworkis
keepinghimi nJohannesburg.Buthecouldanswer
mycal l
,that
'stheleasthecoulddo.Ineedhis
support,
heknowst
hatweonlygoteachot
her
.Why
i
shel eavi
ngmyfat
eonthesepeopl
e?

***Mazwakheyou' vebeenamot herandf atherto

meeversi ncemot herpassedon.Igotusedt oit,
you'vebeent heref ormet hroughever yphaseofmy
l
ife.Iunder standt hatIhavedi sappointedyoua
numberoft imes, butIt houghtbynowyou' d
under st
andhowmuchNgcwet hiandIloveeach
other.Ithoughtyou' dhavef orgivenme
whol eheartedlyandt hatyou'dbet hereformet oday,
i
fnotphysi call
ythenemot i
onal l
y.Ihaveneverf elt
l
ikeanor phanunt iltoday.Whoar eyoul eavingme
toMazwakhe?Thesepeopl e?** *

Isendthetextandwi pemyt ears.If eelhi

sabsence,
myhear ti
ssore,i
t'sli
kehe'snevercomi ngback.I
shouldbehappyt oday,soshouldNgcwet hi
.But
whenhepi cksupwebot hstaysilentont heli
neand
j
ustlist
entoeachot her’
sheavybr eaths.He's
feel
ingwhatI'
mf eeli
ng.There'sahugeempt y
spaceinmyhear
tandhedoesnothavet
hepower
tofi
lli
t.
Hebreakst
helongmomentofsi
lence.“
Doyou
wantustogoseehi
m?”
“
YouandI
?”Iask.
“Well
,Icandr
iveyoutoJohannesbur
g.Iknowhe
doesn'
twanttobreat
heinthesamespaceasme.”
“
YesIwouldl
oveto.
”Anot
hertearr
oll
sdownmy
f
aceandIqui
ckl
yreachuptowipeit
.
.
.
-
--
-
“…..
Ihaveneverf el
tli
keanor phanunt i
ltoday.Who
areyoul eavingmetoMazwakhe?Thesepeopl e?”
Het hr
owst hephoneawayandbur i
eshi sheadon
thepil
low.He' shomesickandt hat
'sthehar dest
batt
lehehast ofi
ghteveryday.Hehast or emind
himselfthathedoesn'thaveahome, thisshackis
allt
hathehasandsoonHl ahlawil
lreali
zet hatit
'
s
notwor kkeepinghim away.Yesoppor t
uniti
eskeep
coming,peopl
ewanthisserviceslef
t,r
ightand
cent
re.He'snotsurewhoreferspeopletohim,hi
s
nameisamongstt hebestplumbersintownand
moneyisnotmuchofapr oblem.
Anot hermessage!Hegr oansanddr agshisar m up
tosear chwher ehet hr
ewhi sphone.Zanamuhl a
cant hrowt antrumst hewhol eday, heknowshow
shecangetandt odayhe'si nthewor stmood.Onl y
i
fsheknewhowmuchhewant edtobet hereforher!
Hewant shert ogetmar ri
edassoonaspossi ble
andgetoutoft hosepeopl e'
sl i
ves.Asmuchast he
Mt hembusar enothi sfavoritepeople,heknows
thattheypr otectthoset heyloveandwhent heyl ove
i
t'sreal.Hewi tnessedi twithBusikhaya.Asmuch
ashehat estoadmi tit
,Busikhayal ovedNombuso
andt ookcar eofher .Hel ovesQophel oregardless
ofhim notbei nghi sbiologicalson.AndNgcwet hi
l
ovesHl ahl
a.

Noit'
snotHlahl
a.It
'sabanknoti
ficat
ion,R300has
beenuploadedi
ntohisbankaccountfrom Vuyi
swa.
Hefrownsasher emembersthefamili
arname
belongst ohi
ssister'
sfri
end.Thetal
l,
slim gi
rl
whosef acei
ssponsor edbyBlackOpal.Thewine-
drinkerwhowear slongIndianhai
randnai l
slonger
thant heduck’
sclaws.
Hecall
sher.Shemust
'vemadeami
stakewi
tht
he
t
ransact
ion.
“
Mazwi
,
”sheanswer
s.
“
Hi.Yousentmoneyt
omyaccountbymi
stake.
”
“Ididnotsendi
tbymi
stake,
it'
sforyout
obuy
pil
lowcases.
”
Hefrowns.Pi
ll
owcases?Yeah,
fort
hepi
ll
ows,
he
knowswhattheyare.Butf
orwho?Andwhymust
thi
sgir
lsendhim ar
ound?
“Imustgobuypi
ll
owcases?
”Hej
ustwant
sto
conf
irm.
“
Yes,
andgetr
idofugl
ythi
ngsonyourpi
ll
ows.
”
WTF!
!!
“
Whoar
eyouagai
n?”heasks.
“
YouknowmeMazwi
,you'
renotdumb.
”
“Idon'
tknowyou.Whydoyouthinki
t'
syourj
obto
changemypill
ows?I'
m notachi
ldandmostofall
,I
don'tt
akemoneyfr
om women.I'
m aman,Icantake
careofmysel
f.
”
Vuyiswar ol
lshereyesont heot
herside.Thi
sist
he
reacti
onsheexpect ed.Thismanissof ul
lof
himself.Theweirdestparti
s;whyisshedrawnto
him?
“Real l
y?Al lowingpeopl etohel pyou, fi
nanci al
lyor
emot ionally,doesnotmeanyou' r
el essofaman.
Actingst rongandhi dingyour selfforwhat ever
reasonswi llnothel pyou.Avai lyour selfforthose
whoyou' vehel pedt ohelpyou.Theher derwho
takescat tletot heriverdrinkswat ert oo.Itdoesn't
mat terwhoyout hinkyouar eorhowl ongyout hink
yourf eetcanst and, yourheartpumpsbl oodand
thepr essur eyou'regi vi
ngyour selfisnotgoodf or
you.”
There'
ssomesi l
ence.Mazwakheist
ryi
ngto
processeverythi
ngshejustsai
d,andVuyi
swais
tr
yingtocontrolheremoti
ons.Theyal
lhadabad
day,Jul
aniissomewher eseeki
ngcounsel
li
ng,
Zanamuhlaislockedinherbedr
oom andBont
lei
s
feel
ingsor
ryforeveryone.
“Il
ostmyf at
herbecauseofdepr essi
on, he
committedsuici
deafterbattl
ingwit
hi tsi
lent
ly.My
mothersuccumbedt othesamebat t
leandafterthe
secondheartatt
ackshedi ed…..MazwakheIdon' t
wantyoutodie.”
“
Youdon'
tknowme.Whydoyoucar
e?”Mazwakhe.
“
You'
remyf
ri
end'
sbr
other
.”
Amomentofsi
lencepasses….
.
“Okay,
butIneedt
oreverseyourmoney.Idon'
t
needit
,Ineedahome.”
“
Whatdoest
hatmean?
”Vuyi
swa.
“
Youwon'
tunder
standandt
her
e'snoneedf
oryou
t
o.”
“Al
r i
ght
,butIunder
standthatyouneednew
pil
lowcasesandI'
m nottaki
ngthatmoneyback.
”
“
Youdon'
towemeanyt
hing,
”hesays.
“
Yes,
theonl
yper
sonwhoowesyousomet
hingi
s
you.Haveapeacef
ulaf
ter
noonMazwi
,Ineedi
ces
formywine.
”
Cal
lended….
.
Whyi shebeingfor
cedint
obuyingpi
ll
owcases?A
fewhommi eshavecameoverhisshackandnone
ofthem havecomplai
nedabouthi
spil
lows.
Hegrabsoneandl ooksatitallover
.Ther
e's
nothi
ngwrong,yethef eel
sli
keifhedoesn'tbuy
pi
ll
owcasestherewillbeaproblem wit
hthewi ne-
dri
nker.
Li
kehedoesn'
thaveenoughpr
obl
emsal
ready!
Phewww.
[
11/
19,
09:
48] :Chapt
erTwent
y
ZANAMUHLA

We'vebeenont heroadforthepastfourhours,
I'
m
exhaustedbuttheurgetoseemybr otherkeepsme
wideawake.Ngcwet hial
sodoesn'twantmet o
sl
eep, hekeepssayi
ngwe' r
ealmostthereand
motivatesmetostayupt okeephim company.One
thi
ngthat'sgoi
ngt oforcemyeyest oshuti sthi
s
ShabalalaRhythm bursti
ngthrought hespeaker
s.
Musicisinfl
uencedbyage, youcan' tbeinyour
twent
iesandl i
stentothiskindofmusi c.His
agemat esarehypi
ngovert helikesofKwest aand
MasterK. G.
“
Howdoyouknowwher
ehel
ives?
”Iask.
“
Iknowever
ythi
ng,
youshoul
dknowt
hatbynow.
”
Ther
e'snosuchthing.That
'swhytherear
eschool
s
andelder
s,peopl
elearnastheygo,youcannot
knoweveryt
hing.
“Youshoul
dgi
veapi
eceoft
hategof
orchar
it
y,”I
say.
“
Real
ly?
”He'
schoki
ngi
nlaught
er.
Wemakeanot herstopinEngen,herefuelsthecar
andgetsusdri
nks.It'
sreal
lyst
rangethat
Mazwakhehasnotmadeanyat tempttor eachout
.
Notevenatexttoexplai
nwhyhecoul dn'tanswer
mycalls.
“
Wear
eher
e,Al
exandr
a."
Sot hi
si sJohannesbur g?Peoplewhol ivehere
comebackt othevi l
lagecall
ingusf arm-jul
iasand
allsortofnames.Thi siswher etheygett heglow.
Cant heyevenbr eatheinthisplace?Ther eare
housesandshacksever ywhere.Don'tstartonthe
crowdsofpeopl ewal ki
ngupanddown.Ever yman
l
ooksl ikeatsotsi.Iwonderwher etheykeept heir
l
ivestock.
“
Thi
sist
hef
amousAl
ex?
”Iask.
“
Wynbur
g,yourbr
otherl
ivesi
ntheseshacks.
”
Noways!Whywoul dMazwakhedothi
stohimsel
f?
Thi
sisworsethanIimagi
ned.Hecanaff
orda
bet
terpl
ace,
ifnot
,hecanalwaysgobackhome.
“Myfat
herhadahousesomewhereinBrakpan.I
don'
tunder
standwhyhe'
sli
vingher
e.”
Hedoesn’
tsayanything.West ayi
nthecarf
ora
moment,di
gestingoursurroundi
ngsandthr
own
awaybytheli
vingconditi
ons.
“Let
'sf
indhim.”Hebrushesmyhand.Hisfacei
s
bothpainedandfr
ight
ened.Hedoesn'
tknowhow
Mazwakhei sgoi
ngtotakehispr
esenceorthef
act
t
hathebr
oughtmeher
e.

Alltheshacksl ookal ike.Mebei ngsl owasIam, I’

d
probablyforgetwhi chonei smi neandent er
someoneel se's.Peopl earelookingatusst rangely,
l
ikewear eshacks’ tour i
stsorsomet hi
ng.Youdon' t
greetinplacesl i
kethi s,peopledon' thavet he
energytor eturnl ousygr eet
ings,theyhavemor e
i
mpor tanttodo.Li ket hisone, Ipassedmyshal l
ow
hell
owandi nst eadofgr eeti
ngmebacksheyel l
ed
attheneighbouraski ngi fshecoul dbor r
owher
broom.Idi dn'tevenknowyoucanbor rowabr oom
unti
lnow.
Thesepeopl ecl earl
yundermi nethepowerof
witchdoctors.Ihear dtheyevenbor r
oweachot her'
s
hair….
Ifsomeonecamet omeandbor roweda
broom orhai rI'
ddi eandwakeupi nMbongol wane
hospital
,ifnott r
ansferredtoKingEdwar d.That'
s
thebiggesthospi talinKZN, wel
laccordi ngtoour
knowledge.I fKingEdwar ddoct or
sfailtot r
eatyou
thenyou'resur elydying.Backinthevillagewe
knowi t'
samat teroflif
eanddeat hifsomeonehas
beentransferr
edtoKi ngEdward.Chur chwomen
star
tdeliver
ingprayerstothefamily,-usephet
hwe
odokotelaabaphezulu.Lowandhi ghdoct ors,
we
don'
treallyknowhowt hi
smedi ci
net hinggoesbut
i
fyoutr eatapersonwhowasonef ootawayf rom
deaththenyou'resurelyahighdoct or.

Eerh!Thewholeyardi
smuddy.Wehavet ojump
l
ikefrogs.Ngcwet
hidoesn'
tseem t
omind,hispace
i
sevenannoyi ngme,whati
fIfal
lwhil
etr
yingto
keepup?
Westopinfr
ontofone.I
tsdoori
shal
fcl
osedto
showthatt
here'
ssomeoneinsi
de.Mybr
otherr
eal
ly
l
ivesher
e.
Ngcwethii
sreal
lyscared.Ist
epforwardandknock
ontherust
ydoor.There'
snor epl
y,Iknockagai
n.
Gosh,I
'
m eventall
erthanthedoor.
“
Mazwakhei
t'
sme.
”
Icanhearthematt
ressshi
ft
ingandfoot
steps
comingcloset
othedoor.I
fhehadmedicalai
dI
swearhewould'
vefaint
ed,
buthedoesnothave
onesohecannotaf
for
dtojustf
aintoutoft
hebl
ue,
theambul
ancewouldcomenextweek.
“Hlahlawhatar
eyoudoinghere?
”Hiseyesar
e
bulgingout
.Idon'
tknowwhethertocr
yorshoutat
him.
HelooksoverNgcwethi,
ragefi
ll
suphiseyesand
foramomentI '
mfri
ghtenedaboutwhatmight
happennext.
“
Iaskedhi
mtobr
ingmeher
e,”Ij
umpi
nqui
ckl
y.
“
Whatt hef
uck!Youcannotj
ustbri
ngheri
nplaces
l
iket
his.Doyouknowhowunsaf ei
tisf
or….
.”
“Yetyoul
ivehere,
butit'
sunsafe.Mazwakhewhy
areyoustressi
ngmeoutl i
kethis?”Ican'
tbeli
eveI
soundli
kemymot her
.Thisisexactl
yhowshecr ied
whenMazwakhewasonhi sworstbehavior
.
“Comeinsi
de.”Hepul
lsmei
nwi t
houtwai
ti
ngf ora
repl
y.Ngcwethir
emai
nsout
sideandI'
m worr
ied
abouthi
ssafety.
“
Lethi
min,
”Isay.
“
No!
”
Iknewhisapprovalwasf
ake.Hest
il
lhat
es
Ngcwethi
,that
'swhyhemadeexcusesnott
oat
tend
l
obolanegoti
ati
ons.
“Ilovehim Mazwakhe.Youcannotdisownmeand
turnyourbackt oyourhomejustbecauseyour
sisterfel
linlovewi
thsomeoneyoudon’ tappr
ove
of.”I'
m yell
ing,t
ear
saremakingat r
iptomychest.
“Youser
iousl
ythi
nkcut
ti
ngmeof
fist
hesol
uti
on?
”
Iask.
Hepushesmeasi deandclimbsonbed.Ever yt
hing
i
sinonepl ace;t
hetable,bed,
potsandwat er
buckets.Idon'tunderst
andwhycan' tthe
governmentpr ovi
deRDPhousesadequat efor
everycit
izen.Thisisnothealt
hy,butthose
poli
ti
cianscanneverr elat
ewhilesi
tti
ngintheir
l
uxurioushousesi nthesuburbs.
“I
fyou'
reher
etoshoutatmet
hengett
hef
uckout
ofmyhouse,
”hesays.
“
Thi
sisnotahouse!
”
“Ri
ght?You'
renowsl
eepi
ngwit
har i
ch,
trust
-f
und
asshol
eandyouthi
nkyoucanputcl
asstagson
people.Yesthi
sisafucki
n’house.I
tshel
ter
sme
everyday.Getthef
uckoutHlahl
a,Idon’
twantt
o
dragyouout .
”
“No,I'
m notl
eavi
ngunti
l…….
.”Hegrabsmyar m
beforeIcanevenswal
lowthefi
ft
hwor d.One
step…two…andweareatthedoor.That
'showli
tt
le
this‘
house’i
s.
“Mazwakhe!”Ngcwethi'
svoiceiscommandi ng.He
standsbef
orehim,I '
m st
il
linMazwakhe'sgr i
p.
There'
sastarebatt
le.Ihol
dmybr eat
h,si
lentl
y
prayi
ngthatnei
therofthem li
ftahandont heother
.
“
Takeyourgi
rl
fr
iendandl
eave.
”
Icannotholdbacktears.Di
dhejustr
efertomeas
Ngcwethi'sgi
rl
fri
end?YesIam Ngcwethi
'sgi
rl
fr
iend,
butI'
m alsohissist
erandI'
m her
ebecauseIcare
abouthim.
“
She'
swor
ri
edaboutyou,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
“
Idon'
tcar
e.LEAVE!
”
Heletsgoofmyarm,IcrashonNgcwethi'
schest
andletoutawai
l.Hesl
amst hedoori
nfrontofus
andl
ocksi
t.
“Sthandwasami .
”Ngcwet hicupsmyf aceand
forcesmet olookathim.I'
m amess, everyt
hing
feelswrong, evenbeinginhisarms.Thisistheroot
ofhatredmybr otherhastowardsme.I fwehadnot
fall
eninlovewi theachotherthingswouldbe
normal.He' dcomehomeaf tereveryt
woweeksas
heusedt o.Checkuponmeandmakesur ethatI
hadever ythingIneed.
.
.
Wear ei
naBnB,themoodisintense.Idon'
tknow
whotoblame,meorhim.ButIknowsomeonehas
donesomethi
ngwrong,ot
herwisewewoul dn'
tbe
here.
“Zanoyouknowt hatIloveyou,ri
ght?
”Hisvoice
breaksthel ongmomentofsi l
enceinadar k
bedroom.Idemandedt heli
ghtstobeswi t
chedoff
,I
crybetterinadarkplacewher enobodycan
ment al
lyjudgemef ormyugl ycryi
ngface.
“
Iknowt
hat
,”Isay.
Heexhalesandwrapshi
sarm ar
oundme.Imove
cl
oserandsnuggl
emyselfonhim.
“Wecangoi nthemorningandtr
yagai
n.Iknow
thatyou'
rehur
ting,
butyouhavetobepat
ientwi
th
him.”
“
Idon'
tknow,
’Isay.
Todaywasembarrassi
ngenough,I'
m notsur
e
aboutfaci
nghi
sneighbour
sagain.Ij
ustwanttogo
backtoKZN.
“Maybeyouhavet ocalm downar oundhim and
all
owhi mt ospeak.Tr
ynott osoundj udgment al
,
especiall
yabouthisli
vingcondit
ions.Youdi dn't
onlyoffendhim,youoffendedthewhol ebl ock
Zanamuhl a.Li
feisnotsimple,
soonyou' llreal
ize
thatandunder st
andwher ehe'
scomi ngfrom.”
“
Doyouknowsomet
hingIdon'
tknow?
”Iask.
“Evenifther
ewas,itwoul
dn'tbemypl acet
oletyou
know.Thatmani syourbrot
her,youknowhim
bettert
hananyoneandifthere'
sanyonewhocan
getthroughhimit
'syou.
”
Coul dMazwakhebei nt rouble?Al otoft hingsdon'
t
makesense, buthesaidi t
'sworkonl y.Ifhe's
wor kingthenwhyi shel ivinginthatplace?Our
fatherhadahouse, t
her e'snoneedf orhimt or
ent.
I'
m cr acki
ngmyhead, Idon' tknowwhati tcoul
dbe.
Itcan'tbeourfather'
sdeat h,hedoesn' tget
emot ionalaboutanything.

Ididn'
tthi
nkI
'dfal
lasleep,
mymindwasr aci
ng.I
kepttossi
ngandaskingmysel
fquest
ionsonly
Mazwakhecouldanswer .
Istandinfr
ontoft
hemi r
rorandlookatthe
ref
lect
ionofmywor noutface.Daysl
ikethi
sneed
Jula'
smake-upski
ll
s.Il
ookl i
keIhaveagedtwice
overnight
.
“
You'
redr
essedup?
”
Wow!Idon'
tevenl
ookl
ikesomeonewho'
sdr
essed
t
ogo.
“
Am Iugl
y?”Iask.
Hest
andsbehi
ndmeandst
aresatmet
hrought
he
mi
rr
or.Thatl
ookonhi
sface…Nooooo!
“
Don'
tevent
hinkabouti
tNgcwet
hi,
”Isay.
Hepullsdownt hel
acyar
m ofmydr essandpecks
myshoul der.“RememberIaskedt
hatyougot ohi
m
abitcal
mt oday,pl
easel
etmehelpyourelease
somest eam. "
“
I'
m dr
essedNgcwet
hi,
youcan'
t……….
”
“I
'
llbecaref
ul….l
etmestar
twit
ht hi
s.”Hebends
downandt akesoutmyshoes.Ifai
ltounder
stand
whyhehadt owai tf
ormetodressupbefore
proposi
ngthissessi
on.
Hest r
ipsallmycl
othesoffandcareful
lypl
acethem
onbed.Wehaven' texpl
oredmuch,sexuall
y.Ihave
enjoyedourfewmoment s,Ial
solovethathe
respectsmybodyandi t
'snotal
lheseeswhenI 'm
onbedwi thhim.
“Ngcwethidoyou……”Gosh, howdoIputthi
s
withoutsoundingl
ikeafreak?Muf
fdoesn'
tsound
l
ikethecorrectword.Idon’
twantt
oendupscaring
hiselder
s.
“Ask.
”He'
sweari
ngoneofhisfewnaughtysmi
les.I
runmyhandsonhischestwhi
letr
yingt
ocomewi th
somethi
ngup.
“Youknowtheor
althi
ngs,doyougoallthewayor
youhavesomeno-goareas?
”Iart
icul
atedthi
sone
verywel
l.
“Idon'
tknowhowtoansweryourquesti
on.”Hej
ust
hadtopushmywor dsoutofmymout h.Iwasbei
ng
verycl
assywit
hthi
syouknow.
“Doyoumuf fpussy?”IhopeGodislooki
ng
somewher eelse.Imeant her
emustbeagr oupof
girl
sgossipi
ngsomewher eandt
arvenscater
ing
alcoholtoyoungster
s,Godshouldkeephisears
openf ormoreunholythings.
“Zanamuhl
a!”Helaughsandburi
eshisheadover
myneck.Ili
keitwhenhedoesthis.I
tgi
vesme
goosebumps.
“
Ihavet
oknow,
”Isay.
“Wel
l……”Hel
aughsagai
n.Aft
eramomenthe
composeshi
mselfandl
if
tshi
sheadup.
“I
t'
syouZanamuhl aNgwane,Icangotoany
l
engthsforyou.There'
snot
hingcal
ledano-
goar
ea
betweenyouandI .
”
Okaycal
m downZanamuhl
a!You’
vesmil
edlong
enough,
youdon'
twantt
oenduplooki
ngli
keacat.
I
t'
sokay….
.chi
ll
.
“Your eall
ydon'tknowhowyoumakemef eel
.”His
manhoodpokesme, hei
ntenti
onal
lypressesharder
andr eleasesalowmoan.“ Ican'
twaittospendthe
restofmyl i
fewit
hyou.”
Oureyesl ockandf oramomentIforgetabout
everythi
ng.Wear ebot hi
ntheworldofourown.He
getscloser,l
if
tsmychi nupwithhisfi
ngerand
sl
owl ybrusheshislipsonmine.Thekissdeepens,
him moani ngonmyl i
pshasal
waysmademeweak.
Womeni ngeneral,
loveseei
ngmenhel pless.He
l
ooksver yweak, hi
shandsareskimmi ngallover
mehungr ily.
Mylegsopeninvolunt
ari
ly,heposi
ti
onshi
mself
bet
weent hem andtr
acekissesonever
ypartofmy
upperbody.
“Iknowt hatyouwantmor e,”hewhi sperswhi l
e
i
nser t
inghi st i
pslowl y.“ AndI '
m goi ngtogi veyou
everythingZol wandl e…. absolutel
y
everything……hol dont omet ightl
y…. .andpl ease
don'ttakeyoureyesof fme…. .
you'readi amondi n
myeyes…. .”Event uall
ymyeyesshutandmyear s
focusont hesoundofourcol l
idi
ngbodi es.Hi s
thumbi srubbi ngmyt hrobbingcl it.Hisscr atchy
voiceissoot hingmyear dr
umsashekeeps
whisper ingsweet -nothings.Thet ensi onbui ldsup
from myback.Il i
ftmybodyupbuthepr essesme
downandhi t
sont hesamespotr epeat edly.If eeli
t
pulsatingt hroughoutmybodyandwavi ngdownt o
myt oes.Hi snameescapesmyl ipsasIyel lout.I
don'thearwhathesays, hispacepi cksup, his
handst i
ght enaroundmyneck…. .thegr oan!
Iopenmyeyes,he’
sstar
ingatme,
whenoureyes
l
ockheleansoverandst
ealsaqui
ckki
ss.
“
Condom?
”Iask.
Post
-caut
ions!
!!
“
Not
hingwi
llhappenmyl
ove.
”
AndI
'
m supposedt
otakehi
swor
dfori
t?
.
.

Hewasr i
ght,I
'
m calmtoday.Iknockonthedoor
andpat
ientl
ywaitformybrothertoopen.
Heopens,
thereact
ionIgeti
snotwhatIexpect
ed.
Hi
seyesquickl
ygot oNgcwet
hist
andi
ngjustafew
f
eetawayfrom t
hedoor.
“
Sur
e,”hesays.
“
Sur
e,”Ngcwet
hi.
Alr
ight,t
hatwasawkwardbutatl
eastthey
acknowledgedoneanot
her.Hesi
gnalsformet o
walkin.Ngcwethir
emai
nsoutsi
deevent hough
Mazwakhedi dn'
tcl
oset
hedoor.
“It
houghtyoulef
tJohannesburg.
”Heshift
sthe
pil
lowsandcli
mbsonbed.Ther e'
snospacefor
chair
s,i
fyou'
renotstandi
ngyou'r
elyi
ngonbed.
HadIknownIwoul d'
vebroughthi
m areedmat.
“IknowI'
m self
ishandall
,butt
heonlyreasonI
'
m
hereisbecauseItr
ulycar
eaboutyou.”
Hedoesn'tsayanythi
ng.Hej
ustst
aresupand
count
sairmolecules.
“
Whati
sgoi
ngonMbuyazi
?”Iask.
“
Pleasedon'
tcal
lmet
hat
.”
Myf
oreheadgr
owsi
ntoaf
rown.
“Whoareyouangr
yat?Youcannotl
etthosepeopl
e
gett
oyou.YouareaNgwane,t
hefir
stsonof
Mlu……”
“
I'
m aMt
hembu.
”
Whaaaaaaaat
?
“Excuseme? ”Ineedhimt or epeatt hejokehejust
cracked.Ihopehe' snother etryingt opursuea
careerincomedy.Whydoyout hinkTrevorNoah
wentabr oad?Ther e'
snomoneyi nt hecomedy
i
ndust r
y,EFFdel i
ver sf
reecomedyshowsand
nobodybot her
stosuppor tlocalcomedi ans
anymor e.Itwouldn’twork,hemustst i
ckto
plumbing.
“Mywhol eli
fewasli
eHlahl
a.Mamkhuluchasedme
outlikeadog.Theybl
amedmef orfat
her'
sdeat
h.I
didn'
twanthimt odi
e,Iwasfi
ght
ingforus,f
or
everyone!
”
Ineedthecl
ockt
ost
op.Icannotpr
ocessal
lthi
sat
once.
“
You'
reaMt
hembu?Howi
sthat
?”I
'
m conf
used.
“
I'
m Ngcwet
hi'
sbr
other
.”
WTF!Nowayi
nhel
l.
“
No, youaremybrother
!”How canhesaysuch
t
hing?Itdoesn'
tmakeanysense.
“I
'
m yourhalf-br
otherasI '
m alsohishalf
-br
other
.”
Heshut shi
seyes, adropoft earescapesthr
ough
cl
osedeyelids.“IhateCeli
we.Ihat eyourmother
Hlahl
a.Shegambl edwithmyi denti
tytoful
fi
lher
si
ckintenti
ons.Myl if
e!”
No!No!No!Thi
scannotbetr
ue.Imeanhow?Li
fe
cannotbet
wist
edli
kethat
.
“
Don'
tlett
hisaf
fectyout
hough,
”hesays.
Hel
ikespr
etendi
ngt
obest
rong.Hedoesn'
tneedt
o
beamanaboutt
his.
“Ihavelostmybrother.Howdoyouexpectmet
o
actasifthisi
snothing?”Iask.
“Youhavenotl ostyourbrot
her.I'
m her
e,deali
ng
withitandtryi
ngtoacceptthings,butI
'
m stil
lyour
brother.Youhavenothingtodowi thwhatthedead
Celi
wedi d.”
Ngcwethil
etshimsel
fin.HelooksatmeandI '
m
soakedintear
s.Ist
hereapossibil
it
yofmeandhim
beingsi
bli
ngsaswell?Celi
weyouwoul dn'
tdar
edo
thattome.Noteveninyourgrave!
“
Whataboutus?”Il
ookathi
m,myvoi
cei
s
t
rembl
ing.“
Am Irel
atedt
oNgcwet
hit
oo?
”
“
No.
”
Ir
eleaseasi
gh.ThankGod!
“Youcanst
il
lcomehomeandst
ayatoursi
de,
”I
suggest
.
“
I’
m sorr
yHlahl
a,IcannotdothatbutIwil
lcometo
MpofanatoseeyoueverychanceIget,
”hesays.
Ngcwet
hicl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.“Youcanal
wayscome
t
othehomeyout
rul
ybel
ongt
o.”
Nor
esponse.
“I
t'
ssadt hatthet ruthcameoutwhenbot hfathers
havedied.Buti t
'sf ortunatethatyouandBusi khaya
canwor kthrought hi sandmaket hingsr ightby
Qophelo.Hewon' tlivethewayhi sf atherl i
ved,”he
conti
nues.Mazwakher emainsqui et.“Iknowt hat
onedayyouwer egoi ngt omanaget okillBusikhaya
andtwent yyearsl aterQophel owoul d'vehunt edyou
downandki lledyouaswel l.
”
Thisi
ssupposedtomakehimf eelbetterbuti
t
doesn'
t,
infacthelooksmor
edepr essedthan
befor
e.I
'm notsur
eIwanttoleave.
“I
t'
snottoolat
eMazwakhe.Youhaveachanceto
l
iveyourtr
ueident
it
y.”Hetouchesmyarm.It
urn
aroundandlookathi
m.It'
stimetol
eave.
“
Youhavecl
assest
omor
row,
”hesays.
“
No!
”I'
m cr
yingagai
n.
Saturdaywasj
ustabeginning.They'
regoi
ngtodo
anythingt
heyl
ike,
Nkanyisoisnowt heheadoft
he
fami
lyandhe'sinchargeofthel
obolanegoti
ati
ons.
Hedoesn'twantli
vest
ock,hewantslobolai
ncash.
I'
veal
readyseenchangesinthei
rli
festyl
e,wi
llt
hey
beabletosavemoneyf ort
hewedding?
“Hl
ahl
athisisexactl
ywhyIdi dn'
twantyoutofi
nd
out
.Youcannotmi ssclassesthr
eedaysinarow
j
ustbecauseyourbrother’
sident
it
ychanged,
”
Mazwakhe.
“
It
'snotj
ustthat
,Ihavenoonet
opr
otectmewhen
I
'
m home,”Isay.
“
You’
reget
ti
ngmar
ri
ednj
eHl
ahl
a.”
Icannotbetoosur eofthat
.Thosepeoplemight
j
ustchowal lthelobol
amoneyandt akeno
responsi
bil
it
yi nsendi
ngmeof f.I
t'
sallNkanyi
so'
s
dutynow.
“
Ver
ysoon,
”Ngcwet
hiadds.
Ifr
own.Whatisthatsupposedtomean?The
famil
iesj
ustst
art
edonnegot i
ati
ons.
“
Ver
ysoon?
”Iask.
“
Int
womont
hs.
”
Whooooooooah!Twomont
hs.I
sthi
sBef
oreThe90
Days?I
’m shocked.
[
11/
19,
09:
49] :Chapt
erTwent
yOne
ZANAMUHLA

Hewant smet obef ine.Theyal ldo, butIcan' tjust

switchbackt onor malasi fnothinghappened.I t'
s
notjustMazwakhe' slifethathasbeenaf fected,
he’snowmybr otherwhoal sohappenst obemy
brotherin-l
awaswel l.Whatst ressesmet hemost
i
st hef actt
hatImi ghtneverseehi mi nt heNgwane
premi sesagain.Yeshi sDNAi sdi fferent,buthe
grewupi nthathome, createdmemor iesandi t'
sthe
onlyhomehehaseverknown.Hef oughtf ort he
Ngwanedi gnit
y,evenagai nstthosewhohappent o
behi sownf ami l
y, heevenki l
ledhi sownf atherfor
them.Thatshoul dcountf orsomet hing, ri
ght ?It
shouldout weight heDNA, hishear tisatt he
Ngwanesandt heysayahomei swher et hehear tis.

“
OkayI
'
vehadenoughoft
hisl
ongf
ace.Getup,
we
ar
egoi
ngshoppi
ng.
”
Thisgi r
l!Can'tsheseethatI'
m atmylowest?
Clothesdon' tmakemehappy, I
'
m nother
.I'm al
so
notaf anofshoppi ng,goingi
nandoutoft heshops
withbasket s.I'
dbebuyingeverythi
ngonl
ineifI
di
dn' thavet r
ustissues.
“ZanoyoucanseethatI'
mthinbutnowyouwant
met ol
if
tyouupanddr agyoutothebat
hroom.
”
Shemeansbusiness.
Whydidn'
tshegotooneofher99blesser s?Idon'
t
knowwhyBontlehadt
ogot otheli
brar
y, her
companyisbet
tert
hanthenaggingVuyiswa.
“Ihaveever
ythi
ngIneedVuyi
swa.Idon'
tneednew
clot
hesoranythi
ng,
”Isay.
Didsheevenhearme?She'swrappi
ngabandana
overherbrai
dsandl
ookingathergl
amor
ous
ref
lect
iononthemir
ror
.
“
IsNgcwethicomi
ngoveroryou'
ret
heone
l
eavi
ng?”
Ur
gh!Thatagai
n.Ipr
omi
sedNgcwet
hit
hatwe'
l
l
spendtheaf
ter
noontoget
her.Iknowthathewon't
all
owmet ocomebacksoI'l
ljustr
eadymyselff
or
theni
ght.
“
I'
m goi
ngover
,youknowhecan'
tcomeher
e,”Isay.
“Heactual
lycan.
”Shegl
ancesbackatmeandIj
ust
sigh.
SheknowswhatI
'
mtr
yingt
osay.
“Haveyouseent heunder
wearsect i
onatMrPr i
ce?”
She'sbrushi
nghercheekswithbrownf acialpowder.
Theyalwaystel
lmet oputeffor
tsintolookingmore
‘
girl
y’andtwent
ieth,
herandJulani.Ihavebought
theeyebrowpenandsomecheapr edlipsti
ckf r
om
theChinashopdownt heroad.Ij
ustneedsome
couragetoputi
ton.MaybeI '
dlooklikeadol lt
oo.
“
Youdef
ini
tel
yneedoneoft
hei
rli
nger
ie.
”
Li
nge-what?Thatlacythi
ngwornbypor
nstar
s?
Thi
sgi r
ldoesn’
tknowwhoIam nordoesshehave
aclearunderst
andingofmybackgr
ound.
“Redonesareforsubmi
ssi
vebi
tc**
swho' dswal
low
ball
sandgetti
edonbedthewholenight
.Youknow
the‘
yesdaddy’type….
Whereasblackisforust
he
motherf
uqerswhopusht hedamnf uqerandri
de
him unt
ilhesi
ngsallhi
spincodesandpasswor ds.
”
Inf
ormativehey.Idi
dn'
tknowcoloursr
epr
esent
ed
charact
ers.WhenIgrowupIwantt obea
motherf
uqerwhoget spasswor
ds.
“
Iact
uall
ythinkt
oni
ghtcoul
dbeagoodnightt
o
t
akethesangomaonanadvent
ure,
”shesays.
“
Advent
ure?
”Ir
aisemyeyebr
ows.
“Sur
pri
sehim wit
hablowjobint
hemost
uncomfor
tabl
eplaceandthenputyourl
inger
ieon
andri
dehimlikeahorse.
”
Godpleasefor
givet
hisgi
rl
,shedoesnotknowwhat
she'
ssaying!
“
I’
m notont
hatl
evelyet
,”Isay.
“
Whi
chl
evel
?Ther
ear
elevel
s?”
“Obvi
ously,
I'
m notasexf
reakandI
'
m notr
eadyt
o
beabit*
*h.”
Shebr
eaksi
ntol
aught
erandshakesherhead.
“Zanamuhl
aSaintNgwane, i
tdoesn'
tmat t
erhow
slow,howoft
enorhowr eser
vedyoudoi t.Atthe
endofthedayweareallgett
inglai
d,notgoingall
thewayoutdoesn'
tmakeyoul essfucked,”she
says.
“
Fineee!IgetyourpointbutI
'
m scar
edtoj
ustact
l
ikethat.Hewasver yweir
dwhenIaskedhim about
muffingsoI'
dratherfol
lowhisl
eadandpace.
”
Shelaughsagai
n.“
Whatareyou?Awifefr
om t
he
60s.Fol
lowhisl
eadmylef
tfoot,
pul
lthatmanby
nose.
”
Pullhim bynose?Ilikehi
mt hewayheis,alwaysin
controlofever
ythingandcommandi ngwhatgoes
where.Butoneni ghtwouldn'
thurt
,I'
ddoallthose
dir
tythingsandswi t
chbackt oZanamuhl
aSai ntt
he
nextday.
“Tr
ustmeNgcwet
hii
sal
soi
nti
midat
edbyyou,
”she
says.
“Andhowdoyouknowt
hat
?”Iaskabi
tjeal
ousand
annoyed.
“
Ihaveseenhowhebecomeswhenhedoesn'
t
knowwher
eyourt
hought
sare.Heget
s
uncomf
ort
abl
eandscar
ed.”
Oht
hat
'sni
cet
oknow.
“
Her
eal
lyl
ovesmehey,
”Isay.
“Tr
ustmeonthatone,t
hatmanl
ovesyouandhe
deser
vessomespicygame.
”
Mmmm!Ial
sot
hinkhedoes.Gameon!

Iendedupbuyi ngtwol ingerie, bothblackandr ed.I

haven'tdeci dedifIwantt obea‘ yesdaddy’typeor
themot her f
uqerwhor i
desl ikeahor sefor
passwor ds.Ineverbel ievedherwhenshesai d
shoppingcanbet herapy.Justt wohour sagoIwas
sinki
ngi nsor rowsandf eeli
ngl ikethewor l
dwas
closi
ngar oundme, butaf tert hist ri
pmymoodhas
uplif
ted.I'
m notsur ehowIf eelaboutmymot heryet,
shedi dthemostsel f
isht hingbutIhavet ostay
positi
vef orMazwakhe' ssake.Hewant smet o
focusonschoolandachi eveal lmydr eams.
Everyonehel ovedandpr otect edhasl ethim down, I
cannotdoi ttoo.I'
m compl et i
ngt hisquali
fi
cation
anddoingever
ythi
ngweinit
iall
ypl
annedtoget
her.
Soonbothofuswillbet
heMt hembus,hi
m asthe
bi
ologi
calsonandmeast hewife,
MrsMt hembu.
“Al
lyouneedtodoiskeeptheeyecont
act,
play
wit
hhisball
swhil
eli
ckingandsucki
ngthejoy-
sti
ck.
”
Thelect
urei
sst
il
lon.Thewordjoy-
sti
ckboresme,
i
t'
sinthesameWhatsAppgroupwithaxe-
wound.
“
WhatdoIdowhenhebur
sts?
”Iask.
“
Youswal
lowandcl
eanhi
m wi
thyourt
ongue.
”
Swall
owasinswallowi
ng?Likewhenyouswal l
ow
ul
tr
amelandli
ckthecontai
ner?It
hinkIneedsex
cl
asses,
theonesforst
udentswit
hspecialneeds.
“
I'
m notswal
lowi
ngsper
msVuyi
swa,
”Isay.
Sheroll
shereyes.Ican'
tbel
i
eveshe'
sbeendoing
al
lthesedi
rt
ythingsandshethi
nksthey'
renor
mal.
“
It
'snotcompul
sor
y,j
ustf
un.
”
Wellf
uncanmi ssme.Therear
eal
otoft
hingsIcan
doforfunandswal
lowingsper
msi
snotoneof
them.
Bontleisfi
nal
lyback.Shelooksexhausted.She'
s
thatstudentt
hatmakesyouf eelnegl
igent,
li
ke
you'r
enotputtingef
fort
sinyoureducation.
“Am Isl
eepi
ngal
onetoday?”ShelooksatVuyi
swa.
Youcanneverbesur
ewi t
hthisone.
“
NoIwi
llbeher
e,”Vuyi
swasays.
“
IsXol
aninotcomi
ng?
”Bont
le.
Vuyi
swashrugshershoulder
sandpull
soutthe
newshoeshewasf it
ti
ng.Thi
sissounl
ikeher,
I
meanit
'safreaki
n’weekend.
“
I'
mtr
yingt
ofocusonmyst
udi
es,
”shesays.
“
Whataboutyour99boyf
ri
ends.Howar
eyougoi
ng
t
oignor
ethem?”Iask.
“
Idon'
thave99boyf
ri
ends.
”Hert
onel
ackshumour
.
Iwaski
ddi
ng,
that
'showwer
oll
.
“
Yourbl
esser
s,”Icl
ari
fy.
“
Idon'
ttakeor
der
sfr
om t
hem,
ifIneedt
imeIneed
t
ime.
”
Oops!Bont
leandIshar
eal
ook.Whi
chwr
ongt
oe
di
dIstepon?
“
Didyouf
indsomeone?
”Bont
le.
Ibreaki
ntol
aughter
.IsVuyi
swaevencapableof
seeingmenbeyondwalki
ngATM machines?Idon'
t
thi
nkso.
“
Maybe.Maybenot
.”Vuyi
swa.
“Whooah!Youmeanyou'
recapabl
eoff
all
ingi
nlove?
YouVuyiswa?”Iask.
Sheletsoutasi
gh.“
Idon'
tknowmuch,
allIknowi
s
thatIcar
esomuchabouthim.”
Yeahshedoes,
herf
acei
sapr
oofoft
hat
.
“
Doesheknow?
”Iask.
“No.Hedoesn'
tevenl
ikemeandIdon'
tknowi
fhe
everwi
ll
.”
“
Mmmmmm.
”That
'sal
lBont
lesays.
“Doyoubel i
evei
nlove?”It
urntoher.She’
ski
ndof
aweirdo.I
'veneverseenhertal
kingt
oanyboyor
evencrushingononef r
om TV.
“
Ibel
ievei
nGod,
”shesays.
Whatananswer
!Butdon'
tweal
lbel
ievei
nHi
m?
“
Whataboutl
ove?
”Iask.
“
Jesuswil
lprovidemewithagoodmanwhenthe
t
imeisri
ght.FornowI'
m goi
ngtoputmyf
ocuson
mybooks.”
Vuyi
swar ol
lshereyes.“Bont
leyoudon'tevengoto
chur
ch.Jesuswon' tgi
veyouanyman, remember
he'
salsonotmar r
ied,I
'
m surehe'sbusysearchi
ng
awifeforhi
mself.
”

Ihavemyover nightbagpacked,Ngcwet
hicomes
topickmeup.I t
'sactual
lyweir
dtoseethem
together
,al
lthr
eeoft hem,myboyfri
endandmy
bodyguards.
Ican'tbel
ievet
heyal
lpr
etendednott
oknowone
another.
Hishandt ouchesmine.Ilookathi
m andr
eal
ize
thatI
'
m angr y.Gosh,
Ineedt ocal
m down,
wewent
overthatandkindofburiedit
.
“
Sor
ry,
”Imout
hal
owwhi
sper
.
“
I'
m sor
ryt
oo,
”hesays.
Vuyi
swaclearshert
hroatcausi
ngust
obr
eakt
he
eyecont
act.
Seewhywecoul
dn'
tchi
llher
e,t
her
ear
eeyesand
ear
sever
ywher
e.
“
Weshoul
dgo,
it'
sget
ti
ngl
ate,
”Isay.
Vuyiswar unsaft
ermeasIgof etchmybag.She
givesmet hesamepi eceofadviceshe’
sbeen
givi
ngmet hepasthours.NowIhavet otakean
oathlikeI'
m onthestand;ever
ythingI
'm goi
ngtodo
tonightisgoi
ngtobenot hingbutwhor*ng.
.
.
-
-
Ican'
tbelieveVuyiswai sact
uall
ytext
ingmef or
updates.Thepl ani
snotwor ki
ng,hisf
uckin’
brot
hersar egatheredhereandtheydon'tlookli
ke
peoplewhoi ntendtoleaveusaloneanytimesoon.
They'
retalkingaboutsoccerandthattopichasno
concl
usi
on.Theycoul
dgoonandont
hewhol
e
night
.
*
*Thecoasti
snotcl
earyet
**It
extback.
Mndeniseesmyalar
medfaceasoureyesmeet
.He
fr
ownswithali
tt
lesmil
eonhisf
ace.Ineedt
oact
normal
!
“Whydidn'
tyoucomewi
tht
het
abl
eZanamuhl
a?”
Busi
khayaasks.
Iwassupposedt
ocomewi
thf
urni
tur
e?
“
Thet
abl
e?”Iask.
Laught
er!What
'ssof
unny?They'
rewei
rd,
allof
them.
Phonebeepsagai
n.Vuyi
swa!Nowshe'
smaki
ngi
t
seem l
ikewehadadealofsomesor
t.
**
You'
renotasail
orZanamuhl
a.Clearcoastf
or
what
?Grabthatmantothebat
hroom.**
Lor
d!!
!Ireachoutfortheglassandtakeahugesip.
WhatdidIsignmyselfint
o?Icannotjustgrab
Ngcwethitothebathr
oom, it
'snotanormalthi
ngto
do.
“Areyouokay?
”Ngcwet
hileani
ngovermeand
grabbi
ngmyhandunderthetabl
e.
Deepbr
eat
h.Inodmyheadandgof
oranot
hersi
p.
Hepecksmycheekandpushesthechairback.He'
s
goingtot
hebat
hroom whi
chi
sjustnexttothe
bedroom.
“Iact
ual
lyneedmyj
erseyt
her
e,”Isayandl
eave
befor
ehim.
Hef ol
lowsbehi
ndandt urntot
hebat hr
oom door.
Thisistheonl
ychance.Iwaitunti
lIhearwater
fl
ushingandthenpusht hebat
hroom doort
ol et
myselfinsi
de.
“Sthandwasami
.”Hi
sbacki
stur
ned,
he’
swashi
ng
hishands.
Zanamuhl
ayoucandot
his!Iwal
kcl
oserandst
and
behi
ndhim.
“
Iseverythi
ngalri
ght
?”Heturnsandbumpsonmy
f
ace.Igivehim nochance,
Icuphisf
aceand
i
nit
iat
eaki ss.
Hebr
eakst
heki
ssaf
teramoment
.“Babear
eyou
okay?
”
IcanhearVuyiswa'
svoiceinmyearstel
li
ngmeto
makehim uncomfortabl
e.Hedeser
vesit
,Imean
he'
sdoneal otoft
hingstome,bothgoodandbad.
“
I'
m per
fect
,”Isay.
Myhandsl
idesi
nsi
dehi
sboxer
s,hi
seyeswi
deni
n
shock.
“
Zanamuhl
awhatar
eyoudoi
ng?
”
Howdoesi tlookli
ke?Iwi nkathim andpul ldown
hispanttohi sankles.Iwasn'tsureIcoulddoi t
,the
slowmot i
onkneel ingthingthatIwasinstructedto
do,butIdoi twhilekeepingtheeyecont act.He
l
ooksscar ed, hedoesn'tknowwhatmyi ntenti
ons
areandVuyi swadi dsayt hatmengetf r
ightened
whenthey'renoti ncontrolofthi
ngs.Ili
ket hem
weaklikethis….wellnotintheoutsidewor l
d,onlyin
thebedroom.
Idothehandt hi
ng,hestart
sbr eat
hingheavy.I
honest
lyt
houghti twouldbedisgustingbutIwas
readyt
ogot hroughwithitei
therway.Surpr
isingl
y
i
t'snot
,Il
ickthetipandseehi m cl
enchinghisjaws,
t
hat
'smot
ivat
ionenoughf
ormet
ogodeeper
.
“Zanamuhlacomeon!”Hisvoicei
salowt rembli
ng
whisper
.Hishandsarepull
ingmyhair.Hel i
kesi
t,I
j
ustdon'tunder
standwhyhehasn'tscreamedhis
passwordsyet,
Vuyiswasai
dhewi l
lmos.
“
Babyyou'
reki
ll
ingme!
”
Gosh,
thatwasf
reaki
n’l
oud.
Ineedtogoabiteasybuthe'
snotmaki
ngiteasy.
He'spushi
nghimselfi
nmymout handgr
oaning
dramati
cal
lyl
oud.
“
Shi
tZanamuhl
a,I
'
m cummi
ng!
”Loudcr
y.
Ipulloutasquicklyaspossible.I
'
m notaboutt
he
swallowingli
fe.Icatchhim witht
hehandand
str
okehi sshaft,i
nthespli
tofasecondheshoot s
outandmynamei nvolunt
ari
lyescapeshi
smout h.
Histhighsaretrembling.

Whatam Isupposedtodonow?Idi dn'

texpect
thi
ngstotur
noutthiswayatall
.HowdoIf acel
if
e
outsi
dethebat
hroom af
tert
his?Everyoneheard
whatwasgoi
ngon,whyi
shesuchani
diot
!Ther
e
wasnoneedforhi
mtobeloud.
“Thankyoust
handwasami.
”Hepull
smet ohi
s
chestandembracesmei
nat i
ght
esthug.
“
You'
rewel
come,
”Isay.
“I
'm goingtoret
urnt
hefavourassoonast hose
i
diotsleave.
”Hepecksmyl i
psandsmiles.Iswear
hiseyeshavestarsi
nthem.Isheglowi
ngori t'
smy
eyes?
“
Let
'sgo,
”hesays.
“
NoI
'
m notgoi
ng.
”
“
Why?
”
He’
sreal
lyaski
ngmet
his.
“Youweref
reaki
n’loudNgcwethi.Youweren'
t
supposedt
o,youjustspoi
ledeveryt
hing.
”
“Doyouhaveanyideawhatyouweredoingt
ome?I
coul
dn'
thelpmyself
.”He'
ssmil
ing.Lor
d!
“
Ngcwet
hit
hisi
sembar
rassi
ng.
”
“
Comeonbabe.
"
Ifol
dmyar msandr el
easeasigh.Mymi ndismade
up,I'
m notl
eavi
ngthisbathr
oom unti
lthose
brother
sgot ot
hei
rbedroomsandI '
ml eavi
ng
beforeever
yonewakesup.
[
11/
19,
09:
49] :Chapt
erTwent
yTwo
ZANAMUHLA

Hedoesn' tthinkthatmyr eputati

onisatstake,he'
s
notvoicingitoutbutIcanseet hatinhismindI'ma
dramaqueen.Aheavywei ghtshedsof fmy
shoul
der sast hecardr i
vesoutoft heyard.Icannot
hidefr
om hi sbr ot
hersforeverbutmaybei naweek
ortwoIwoul d'vegather
edsomest rengthi
nmy
shamef ul-
selftolookatthem intheeyes.
“Canweatleastgr
absomebreakf
astonourway?
Orpeopl
earegoingtocr
uci
fyyoufordoi
ngwhat
l
oversnat
urall
ydo?”
I'
l
llett
hatsl
ide.Hedoesn'tgetit
.Ifsucki
ng
someone'sshaftwassuchanor malt hi
ngtodoas
heputsit
,we'dbeseeingloverssuckingeachot
her
onthepavement s,
churchesandever ywher
e.
“Anyway, yester
daywast hebestnightofmyl i
fe.
”
Hegl ancesatmebr ief
ly,
he'snotoverthebat hroom
session,Idon'tthi
nkheeverwi ll
.Thepr obabili
tyof
mebei ngt hefir
stladytoevergivehimt hatkindof
pleasureusingwhatGodgavemet opraywi th,
givesmepr i
deandj oy.Ibrokehis…..
what ever
virgi
nit
yi t
'scall
ed,Ibrokeitandifheevercheat son
mei twillconfi
rmtheMenAr eTrashnarrati
ve.
“Iwishyouhadal l
owust otakethingsfurt
her.The
whol enight
,justmeandher .”Hiseyesflytomy
thighsquickl
yandcr ackhislipsint
oasmi le.We
didn'tdoanythingaft
erthebat hr
oom session,Iwas
scaredhewasgoi ngtoscream harderandwakeup
thewhol efamily.
“
Nextt
imewe'
l
ldo6-
9,”Isay.
Hef
rowns.I
'
m notsur
pri
sed.
“
What
'st
hat
?”heasks.
“Iwil
lteachyouwhenthetimei sright,
”Isay
shruggingmyshoulder
s.Itfeel
ssoamazi ngbei
ng
thewellinf
ormedoneinar elat
ionship.“Di
dn'
tyou
saythatyouknoweverythi
ngi nlif
e?”
“Idi
dandsexi
snoteveryt
hing.
”Hedoesn'
tshi
fthi
s
eyesfr
om t
her
oad.He'str
yingtobesmartwi
thme.
“Itdidn'
tlookthatwayi
nt hebat
hroom,”Isay
foldi
ngmyar msandgivinghim achal
lengi
ng
stares.Hef eel
sitonhi
sskinandsmi l
es.
“
Youl
oveseei
ngmeweak,
don'
tyou?
”heasks.
“
No.Il
oveseei
ngyouhappy,
”Isay.
Helefthandl et
sgooft hewheel ,i
tcomesi n
cont
actwi thmykneeandhedr i
veswi t
honehand.I
can'
tbelievemyr esponsehaschangedt hewhol e
atmospher e.I
thasgonef rom li
ghtandf unny,t
o
deepemot ionsandexchangeofel ect
ri
cspar kthat
ri
desthroughhi shandt omyt hi
ghandback.Even
whenhi shandl eavesmykneeIcanst il
lfeelwhere
i
thadt ouchedl i
keitneverlef
t.
“I'
m happyZanamuhla.I
’m al
waysgonnabehappy
aslongasyou'rebr
eathingnextt
ome.Anyot her
thi
ngyougivetomei sjustabonus,youmademe
happythedayyouaccept edt
obei nmyli
fe.
”
“
Yougavemepr
operf
ood.
”Mymindtr
avel
sdown
t
hememoryl
aneandmyeyest
earabi
tasI
rememberever
ythi
ngwe'vebeenthrough.“AndI
hatedyouandblamedyouforever
ything,
”Isay.
“That'
showIconnectedtoyou,
yourhungerst
ri
ke
affect
edmeemotionall
yandIknewthati
twasn't
somet hi
ngt
hatwouldjustf
adeaway.”
“Butyoudon'
teveneatmuch,
whyi
sfoodyour
obsessi
on?”Iask.
“Foodisnotaresourcet
hatever
yonehasaccesst
o.
Manypeopl egotobedwithemptyst
omachs
everydayandIdon'
tunderst
andwhythereare
peoplewhostarvethemsel
vesonpurpose.
”
“Butyoudohaveanaccesst oi t
.Whydoesi tbot
her
you?It'
slikethosehi
gh-
profi
lepolit
ici
ansspeaki
ng
aboutlackofhousingwhil
edr i
nkingwhiskyin
Sandton,”Isay.
Ouch!Thatdoesn'
tsi
twellwi
thMrBor nRich.I
could'
veconst
ruct
edmyquestiondif
ferent
lyand
tr
iednottooff
endhim.He'sagoodperson,Iknow
hisconcer
nscomef r
om agoodplace.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”Ibreat
heundershame.I'
vebeencal
led
j
udgmentalt
hreeti
mesandifther
e'severaf
our
t h
t
imet
hat
'l
lmeant
heseal
legat
ionsar
etr
ue.
“Doyouknowthatapersoncansur
vivet
hree
weeksonwildfr
uit
s?Nosoli
dfood.
”He'snot
pissedasIt
houghthewas.
“
Wil
dfr
uit
s?”Iask.
“
Amahl
ala,
amapot
iandamavi
yo.
”
Ihatet
hosethings.Mazwakheusedtobr
ingt
hem
homeafterherdi
ngthecatt
le,
amaviyot
astel
ikea
rot
tenmorvit
e.
“Whywouldsomeoneeatthosethi
ngs? ”Mylipis
cur
vedup,pushi
ngmynosei ntowrinkl
esasIt r
yto
i
maginesomeoneli
vingonthosefruit
sf ort
hree
weeks.
“Myf amil
ywasoncet hepoorestinthevil
lage.
They'dstarvefordayswit
hnotevenagr ainofr i
ce
i
nt hehouse.Onedaymyuncl ewhocameaf termy
fatherfai
ntedintheveldwhilelooki
ngforamavi yo
toeat.Theyhadgoneawhol eweekwi thoutany
solidfoodandhewasanaemi c.
”He'str
yingtoputit
togetherbuthisfacei
sselli
nghi m out
.Icanr ead
everyemot ionhe'
sgoingthroughashenar r
atesthe
stor
y.Ididn'tevenknowt heywer eoncepoorand
that
'showIam nor mally.Evendr unkards, i
nmy
headthey'vealwaysdr ankal cohol,Ineverthinkout
ofthebox.Peopl estartsomewher e,weal lhavea
stor
ytotell.Evenwi t
hdr unkards,they'dtellyouit
star
tedwithacanofCast leLit
eandt henextt hi
ngI
knewIwasf ini
shingawhol ecrateofbeer salone.
Ofcoursehi
sfami
lywasoncepoor,
I'
mjust
shockedbymyownstupi
dit
yIguess.
“Yourf
atherwast here,
eat
ingsnacksandwhat
ever
yourgrandpar
entshadpackedforhim whenhe
tookoutthecatt
le.”
Whyam Isensinghatredinhi
svoice?He'
snot
l
ooki
ngatme, notevenoneglanceandIhavea
f
eeli
ngthathedoesn'twantmetoseehowmuch
t
hisconver
sati
onactuallybr
eakshim.
“Myfatherbeggedyourf at
hertohelp,t
ogivehis
youngbrotherwit
hj ustapieceofsomethingtoeat.
Butherefusedandchoset ot hr
ewwhatr emained
andcrusheditagainstthesandwithhisfoot….
.he
diedZanamuhla,ri
ghtthereintheveld.
”
Icl
osemyeyesandt rytoabsorbwhathe'
ssayi
ng.
Myfatherwasnotthemostgoodheart
edpersonon
ear
thbutIwouldn'
thavethoughthewascapabl
eof
doi
ngsomet hi
ngli
kethat.
“Foodmeansever yt
hingt
ous.Itmeantever
ythi
ng
tomyf at
herandmyuncl ewhodied.WhenIfelt
yourneedforfoodIknewthatyouweretheone,”he
says.
Iswearmyeyesar egoingt opopout .Am Ithat
deept ohi m?I tsoundslikeourf ut urehascertai
nty,
everythinghasbeenwr i
ttendownandmybi ggest
fearis,whati fwedon' tl
iveupt oi t?Whati ft
his
whol erelati
onshipheadst oadi fferentdir
ecti
on,wil
l
hisancest orspuni shme?Idon' tknowwhyt heyhad
togeti nvolved.Imeant hewhol epur poseofdying
i
st obut toutofear th’
sbusi nessandi tseemsl i
ke
theMt hembuonesst i
llhavet heirclawsbackon
earth.Noof f
ence.
“
Soyourf at
herhatedmi
nef
orsever
alreasons.I
t
wasn'
tjustt
heissueofmymot
her?”Iask.
“
Don'
ttwi
stt
his,
it'
syourf
atherwhohat
edmi
ne.He
could'
vesavedmyuncl ebuthedi dn'
t.Hewasar ich,
spoil
tarr
ogantboywhot houghtever yt
hinginthis
worldonlybel
ongedtohim.That '
swhyhedi dn't
hesit
atetomarryyourmot herknowingver ywell
thatshewaswithmyf ather.Butthatdoesn'tmatter,
hefoundMaMbonambiandwashappyt i
lldeat
h.”
Ididn'
tevenrealizethatwehavear r
ivedoutsidethe
buil
ding.Ican'
tbelievehe'st
akingsidesinthis.I
'm
supposedt osi
ther eandlist
entohim putti
ngal l
the
blameonmyf ather.Hearmeout ,I
'
m notdef ending
him ortr
yingtopainthim asasaint,butt
his
happenedmaybe45year sago.Whyshoul dwe
fi
ghtaboutit?!
“
Andyourf at
herki
ll
edmymot her
,thesamewaymy
f
atherki
ll
edyouruncle,
”Isay.
“
Didn'
tshedi
ebecauseshewasi
ll
?”heasks.
Shecoul d'
vebeensavedifhi
sfatherwasn'
ta
corruptseni
ormemberoft hecommuni t
y.I
fhe
didn'that
emyf ami
lyoverfoodtheypipedouti
nthe
toil
et.
“
Didn'
tyouruncl
edi
ebecausehewashungr
y?”I
ask.
Wegetinthestarebatt
le.He'
sangryatmyf ather
andI
’m angryathimforbeingangry.HeknewwhoI
wasandhest i
llcour
tedme.Idon'tneedhimt o
makemef eelbadaboutbeingmyf ather
'sdaught
er.
“
It
'snotf
unnyZanamuhl
a,”hef
inal
lysays.
“
Am Il
aughi
ng?
”Iask.
“
Thewayyouphr
aseditsoundedl
ikeyouwer
e
t
ryi
ngt
ocrackaj
oke.
”
“I
fIweret
ocrackjokesyouwoul
dn'
tbean
audi
enceNgcwethi
.”
Anot
herst
arebatt
le!Thi
stimeI
'
mt hef
ir
stoneto
l
ookaway.HishandtouchesmeandI'
mf or
cedt
o
l
ookathi
m again.
“
Shoul
dIwal
kyoui
n?”
“
No,
”Ir
epl
ywi
thmyhandont
hedoor
.
“
Zol
wandl
ear
eweokay?
”
Icl
imbout,closet
hedoorandwalkawaywit
hout
l
ookingback.Idon'
tunder
standwhyt
hefamil
y
hi
storyi
sgett
ingbetweenusnow.Bot hf
amili
es
wrongedeachother,
itdoesn'
tmatt
erwhodidn't
gi
vehisfoodtowho.IregretwhyIevenenqui
red
abouthi
sobsessionwithfood.

IwalkpastVuyi
swainthekit
chenandIdon'teven
havethestr
engt
ht ogr
eether.Al
lthatgaggi
ngand
sucki
ngforamor ni
ngfi
ght!
“I
severyt
hingokay?
”Sheleaveswhat
evershewas
doingandrushesaf
terme.
Ithrowmybagont hebedandl etoutaheavysi
gh.
She'sri
ghtbehindmyheelandinf r
ontofmyface
beforeIevenknowitI
'
m suffocatedinari
b-
cracki
nghug.
“
Whathappened?
”sheasks.
“
Wefoughtoverfoodstuf
f.
”Idon'
thavet
heener
gy
t
oexpl
ainever
ythingr
ightnow.
“Zano!Youfoughtwi
thyourboyfr
iendoverf
oodat
yourin-
laws?Iunder
standt
hatweeatnoodles
mostoft het
imesbutyoudidn’
thavetoembarr
ass
your
sel
f.
”
Lord!Icr
awlonbedandburymyheadonthepi
ll
ow.
Sher amblesonandonabouthow‘
wack’
our
reasonforfi
ghti
ngis.
“Ont
hatnot
e,areyouhungr
y?I
'
m cooki
ngnoodl
es,
Bont
lei
soversl
eepi
ng.
”
“Ican'
twait,t
hankyou,
”Isayandr el
easeanot her
sighofrel
iefasIhearherfootst
epsout.Shecloses
thedoorbehindher.Pr
ivacyisamomentofr eali
ty,
I
feelmyeyesheatingupandt eari
ngi
ntowat erfal
l.
Thedooropensagain.Can'
tIbelef
tal
oneandcr
y
i
npeace?Idon'twanttoexpl
ain……
“Youlef
tyourcel
lphonei
nthecar,
”thevoiceI
'
m not
surewhetherIl
oveorhat
ebreaksinmyr oom.
Idon'
tli
ftmyheadup.Hecan'
tseet
hatI’
m cr
ying.
I'
m notweak,
Ican'
tal
lowhimtodothatt
ome.
“Zanamuhla.”He'
snear
.Icanfeelhi
m nextt
omy
shoulder
s.Ipressmyfacehar
deront hepi
ll
owand
tryt
ocollectmysel
f.
I
t'
ssoeasyf
orhi
mtoj
ustf
li
pmeoverandf
orceme
t
olookathi
m.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”hesays.
“I
t'sokay.I
'
m nottryi
ngtotri
pyouwi t
ht ear
s,hat
e
whoeveryouwantt ohate.
"Iwi pemyeyesandt r
y
tolookunbroken.Butheseesr i
ghtthroughmeand
staresatmeunt i
lIbr
eakint
ot earsagain.
“I'
mreal
lysor
ryforbringi
ngthatst
uffup.I
'
m not
usual
lyanemotionalperson,
Idon'
tknowhow
thi
ngsescal
atedthatfast.
”
“It
'sokay.
”Inodmyheadandwi peanotherdropof
tear.Hestar
esatme,
he'ssuf
focati
nginregret.I
nodmyheadonceagai n,
whatever,
it’
sokay.
“
Iwantt
obewi
thyout
oday,
”hesays.
“
Ihavecl
assesNgcwet
hi.
”
“
I'
llwaitf
oryou.Doyourl
aundry,
cookanddo
whateveryouwantmetodo.”
“
Don'
tfeelgui
lt
y,”Isay.
He'
snotconvi
ncedandhedoesn'
tcar
e.
He'
sphoni
ngoneofhi
sbr
other
s,cancel
li
nghi
sday
ont hegr oundst hatsomethingurgentl
yhascame
up.He' st hesecondbor n….wellt
hir
dnow, andhe's
treatedlikeanegg.Heget shiswaymostoft he
ti
mes, Idon'tthinkitpl
easesBusikhayabuthe
under standst hatthisi
sthespecialchi
ld.Justl
ike
that,theygr anthim adayof fandhecli
mbsonbed.
“Wher
eist
heir
on?CanIpl
easechoosewhatyou'
re
goi
ngtoweart
oday?
”
Ohboy!Ihaven'
tevendi
gestedthefactt
hatI
'
m
l
eavi
nghim withmystuf
falltohimsel
f.
“
Pickwhatdoesn'
tneedt
obeir
oned.”YeahIcanbe
l
azyli
kethatandI
'm awi
femat
eri
alaswell.
.
.
-
-
“
And?
”Vuyi
swa.
I
t'
snotli
kethi
swil
lof
fendthem,
theyt
akeor
der
s
f
rom hi
mt omakeali
ving.
“
He'
sstayi
ngthewhol
eday.
”Irol
lmyeyesandplug
t
heket
tl
eformymorni
ngcoffeer
out
ine.OkayI
'
m
notri
ch,Ihavenomorni
ngcof
feer
out
inebutI
mighthaveonesoon.
“
Doi
ngwhati
nthi
sbor
ingpl
ace?
”Shef
rowns.
“
Myl
aundr
y,cooki
ngandcl
eani
ngmyr
oom.
”
“
CanIsneakmycl
othesi
ntoyourbasket
?”
Lor
d!He'
snotawashi
ngmachi
ne.
“
Getyour
sel
faman,
”Isay.
“
Iwil
lbutIdon'
tthi
nkhe'
ddomyl aundr
yandal
l
t
hatFEMALEdutynonsense,
”shesays.
“
Hesoundsl
ikeanar
rogantman.
”
“
Heis,andIl
ovehimli
kethat.
”Thesmil
eonher
f
ace!Myword,Vuyi
swaisreal
lyi
nloveandshe
l
ovesthi
smanwi t
hhisar
roganceandever
ythi
ng.
“
Hei
slucky,
you'
rear
aregi
rlt
ofi
nd,
”Isay.
Sher
oll
shereyes.“
You'
ref
unny.
”
“ImeanitVuyiswa,you'
reamot her
fuqerandfal
li
ng
i
nloveisnotinyourgame.Sowhoevercapt ures
yourhearti
sluckythatyouevenlookedathimthat
way.Andyou'rejustspeci
alandrare.
”
Sheshedsat
earandenvel
opesmei
nabi
ghug.
“
Hugs?Whathappened?
”Bont
le’
svoi
cebr
eaksi
nto
t
heroom.
“Joini
n,”Isayopeni
ngmyar mforher
.Shedr ags
hersel
ftousandweal lhugeachot
her.They'
refake
butreal
,I'
m notcontr
adi
cti
ngmyselft
hisoneistoo
deeptobeexplainedinawhit
eman’slanguage.
.
.
Iwon'
tli
eandsaymydayhasbeenf r
uitf
ulorthatI
hear
dwhatanyofmyl ect
urerssai
d.Ij
ustsawt hei
r
l
ipsmovingandal
lIkeptt
hinkingwas,whatis
Ngcwet
hidoingi
nmyr oom?
Ididn'tevenwaitfort
hebusaf termylastclass,
I
stoppedt hetaxiandpaidawhoopi ngR8tobe
takenj ustbehi
ndthecorner.Somebodyneeds
financialmanagementclasses,Ifeell
ikeI
'
m not
spendi ngmyR1500r icheswisely.
Inear
lyfal
landhugthefl
oorasIpusht
hedoorwi
th
al
lkotaandcokeenergy.
“Areyouokay?”Herushest
omeandhelpsmeout
.
Ifeell
ikeani
diot
,hewasjustwat
chi
ngTV.
“I
'm okay,
”Ipullmyhandof fhisarmst hathave
supportedmef rom thesecondIfel
l,
Ilookar ound
andsighwi threl
iefasIseeeverypartofthe
apartmentintact
.
“
Areyouhungr
y?Icooked.
”
“
Yes.Whatdi
dyoucook?
”
“
Ummmm…i
t'
sni
ce.
”
Well,helookscl uel
essaboutt he‘ni
ce’
hecooked.I
fol
lowhi mt othekitchen,hetakesoutaplast
ic
containerfr
om t hefri
dgeanddi shesout.He
could'veatleasttookitoutoftheshop'scont
ainer
andhi ditbeforelyi
ng.
“
Areyousur
ethatyoucooked?”Ipressmylips
t
ight
lyt
oget
hert
ostopagigglefrom escapi
ng.
“I’
m sorr
ysthandwasami ,thingsdidn'
tgoas
planned,IguessIunderminedt heamountofwork
thatgoesintolaundr
yandcl eaningaroom wi
th
empt ycosmeticcontai
ner
s. ”
Ishoothi
m al
ook,
hechuckl
es.
“
Whydon'
tyougetawashi
ngmachi
ne?
”
Ri
chpeopl
earefunny.HowdoyouGETawashi ng
machi
ne?Thatt
hingsell
sandi
tcost
sthousands.
“
Youmakeitsoundli
keI
'
djustwalkint
oashopand
t
akei
twi
thoutpayi
ngacent,
”Isay.
“
You'
l
lpay,
moneyi
snotapr
obl
em.
”
“
I'
m Zanamuhl
aNgwane,
”Ir
emi
ndhi
m.
“You'
remywoman, youdon'thavetowor r
yabout
yourstudi
esandworryaboutdoinglaundryas
well
.”
Si
gh!
!!
!
“
Andwheredoyouthi
nkwe' l
lputt
hewhol
e
washi
ngmachi
nehere?”Iask.
“
Weevi
ctedsomest
udent
s,youcan….
.”
“
NoNgcwethi
,Idi
dn'
tcomeher et
oshowof
fwi
th
washi
ngmachi
nestootherst
udents.
”
“
Okay,
”hesays.
Ihateandl ovehowhel etsgoofconver sati
onswith
onewor d.After‘
okay’ Iknowhedoesn' tpersist
furt
herandi tremindsmet helessofatalkerheis
whenhe' snotwi t
hme.Ngcwet hicanstareata
str
angerf orasoli
df i
vemi nutesandsaysnot hi
ng.
Hecansi twi t
habunchofl oudmout hsandnotsay
evenonewor d.Butgivehim Zanamuhl a,hetalks
forthewhol eAfri
ca.

Wellhedi shedandnowhe’ swar mingthef ood,

that
’ssomet hingtoment al
lycelebrat
e.Iwr apmy
armsar oundhi swaistandrestmyheadonhi s
back.Wehavel otofthi
ngst otalkabout,notforour
famili
esbutf orourownemot i
onalwel l
ness.Ididn'
t
knowt hisfamilyfeudwassodeepl yrooted.Idon't
thi
nkt here'
sanythingwecandoabouti texcept
fi
ndingourownwayf orwardwithnogr udges.
.
.
I
'
mlat
ebuti
t'
sst
il
lMonday
[
11/
19,
09:
50] :Chapt
erTwent
yThr
ee
Nont
obeko

Hecal l
edandt oldmehewascomi ngover .Yeshe
tol
dme, hedi
dn' taskifIwascomf ortableornot.
Justli
keourf ir
stdat ewherehewont hegameand
tol
dmewe' dmeett henextdayforourf irstdat
e.
ThatdayIl ef
tahugechunkofmyconf idence
behind,Irememberhowner vousIwas, itseemed
l
ikewewer etheonl ycoupleinthatrestaurant,
we
hadal otofprivacyandhi spresencewasheavy
thanever .
Runningaroundt hehouseandf
ixi
ngever
ypar
tofi
t
makesmer eal
izehowt hi
sguymakesme
desperat
eforperfecti
on.
Iwantt obemor ethanmyselfandthat'
st he
mistakeI'vemadesomanyt imesint hepast .Igive
peoplemor ethanIgivemyself
.IfIcan'tcookpast a
formyself ,whymustIcooki tf
orsomeoneel se?I fI
l
ovewear ingshort
s, whymustIchanget ot hislong
dulldressf orsomeoneelse?Ihavebeent here,
donethatandI'
m sti
llher
e,pur
sui
ngyetanother
rel
ati
onshi
p.Thisti
meIhavet odothi
ngsdif
ferent
ly.
“
Andnow?
”-Mshi
be.
Hecl
earshi
sthr
oatassoonaswordsescapehi
s
mout
hbuthefai
lstoi
ronthecr
easedf
rown
pl
ast
eredonhi
sface.
“
Pleaseordersomet
hingwear
egoi
ngt
oeat
t
onight
,”It
ellhi
m.
“
Ithoughtyouwer
ecooki
ng.
”
“Well,notanymor e.Wear eor dering,makei tenough
forthreepeopl e.
”Igrabagl assandpourmysel f
somewi ne.Thegym hasr eal
lypai dof f,I
'
vel osta
kil
oort wo, andthisshortfit
sper fectly.Idon't
rememberwhenwast helastt i
meIl etmyhai r
downanddi dn’
tstret
chmysel ftouni maginabl e
l
engt hsforaguy.Notj usttheBr azil
ianhai rthat'
s
l
aidovermyshoul dersandswi ngsjustabovemy
ass,butt hechaseofper fecti
onandf i
xingot hers
beforemysel f
.
Thi
stimeIshoul
ddot hi
ngsdif
fer
ent
ly.Fi
rstmove,
si
tt
ingonthecouchandenjoyi
ngaglassofwine
whilebingingonQueenoft heSout h.Mshibeis
movingsheepi shlyar oundt hehouseandgi vingme
str
angel ooks.Iknowhe’ ssilent
lyaskinghimself
whathappenedt oallt hepreparati
ons.Iwasr eady
towipet hiswholehouseandcookast ormf or
Busikhaya'sfir
stof f
icial-
boyfri
endvisi
t.Thatwas
beforeIremember edhowal lmyr el
ati
onshipshad
endedaf tereverysacr if
icesImade.

IhearMshi be'
svoicetalkingt
osomeone, t
hatmust
behim.Ineedt ocal m downandbr i
ngonmy
businessface.Idon'tknowhowcomeI '
m so
power f
ulandunt ouchableinbusi
nessandyetso
weaki npersonalli
fe.
Bythelookonhisfacehe'
sbeengivenaclueof
whattoexpect
.Hiseyesrunfrom t
hegl
assinmy
handtomybar ethi
ghsreveal
edbytheshortj
ean.
“
Nont
obeko!
”
Icanal
readyt
ellt
hathe'
spi
ssed.
“Hey,Ijustf
ini
shedtheseri
es.”I
'
m surpr
isedbyt
he
boldnessofmyvoi ce.Thewinei
sdoingitsmagi
c,I
r
eacht
othegl
assf
oranot
hersi
p.
“
Idon'
tcar
e,”hesays.
Notevent
hewi necanprot
ectmefrom t
he
col
dnessofhisvoi
ce.Ishr
inkal
it
tl
ebit,
butkeep
myfaceunfazed.
“
Areyoual
ri
ght
?”Iask.
“Yes.Ar
eyou?”Hiseyeschasethegl
assI
'
m put
ti
ng
backontopofthecoff
ee-t
able.
“
I'
mfi
ne,
”Isay.
“
It
'sver
ycl
ear.You'
rehavingagoodti
me,
sit
ti
ngon
t
hecouchnakedanddrinkingwi
ne.
”
Dr
inki
ngwi
ne,
yes.Butnaked?He'
sexagger
ati
ng.
“
I'
mindoor
sandIf
eltl
ikeweari
ngt
hist
oday.So
whynot
?”Ishr
ugmyshoulder
s.
Nowhel
ooksr
eal
lypi
ssed.
“Icannothaveawif
ewhodr essesli
kethi
sinfr
ont
ofyoungboys.Mshibeishereandyou'
resit
ti
ng
withyourthi
ghspoopi
ngoutlikethi
s?!
”
Ineedanot
herone,
fast
.Idownahugegul
pand
l
ookathi
m wi
thmyf
oreheadf
urr
owed.
“Wif
e?Busikhayawejustst
art
eddat
ingaweekago,
youcannotexpectmetoactli
keaweddedwi
fe.
”
“Actli
keadecentwoman!It houghtyouwere
maturedNontobeko.Walki
ngher eIcoul
dn'
ttel
l
whetherIwaswalkingonthef ut
uremotherofmy
chil
drenoraprosti
tut
e.”
“
Don'
tcont
rol
meBusi
khaya.
”Inar
rowmyeyes.
“
Ist
hathowyoucal
lit
?”
Si
lence.
Wejuststar
eateachother
.Hi
slowerl
ipkeeps
moving,
there'
salothe'
dli
ket
osaybutsomething
i
sstoppi
nghi m.
“
Tal
k,
”Isaysi
ppi
ngont
hegl
assonemor
eti
me.
“
Doyoul
oveme?
”
Thequest
ioncatchesmeoffguar
d.Yeswe'
re
dat
ingbutIhaven'
tdef
inedmyfeel
ingsf
orhi
m yet
.
“
Whyar
eyouaski
ng?
”
“
BecauseIhavef
orcedsomeonet
obei
nmyl
if
e
bef
ore,
mani
pul
atedherandbl
indedheri
ntol
ovi
ng
me.”
Int
eresti
ng!Hedoesl
ookl
ikeabul
lysoI
'
m not
surpri
sedatal
l.
“
Didi
tendwel
l?
”Iask.
“Yesitdi
dbutitwasn'
tthenaturallove.Idon'
twant
torepeatt
hesamemi stakesagain.IknowIcanbe
abitpushybutNontobekoifyoudon' tl
ovemeand
i
fyoudon'tseeafuturewithme, pl
easel etme
know.”
“You'
reri
ght,
you'rebeingpushyandt reat
ingme
l
ikeyourexwhocoul dn'tgiveyouhernaturallove.
”
Ican'
tbeli
evehe'sseri
ouslycompar i
ngmet oa
deadwoman.SoI '
m goingt osuf
ferf
oranot her
woman'sshortcomings? !
“Thesamewayyou' r
emakingmesuf ferforyourex-
i
diots.Thisi
snotyouNt obe,
you'
ret r
yingtoprovea
point.Iknowthatyou'
reanadul
t,youcando
anythingyouwantbutforustowor kyouhavet o
meetmehal f
way.”
Si
gh!Ipouranot
hergl
assanddowni
t.Hewat
ches
mesi l
ently,Iputtheglassawayanddr agmyt i
psy-
selft
ot hebedr oom tochangebackt omydr ess.I
didstandmygr oundf oraminute,Ishouldbeproud
ofmysel fevent houghhesawt hroughmeand
overpower edme.

Str
onghandsgr abmywaist,
caref
ull
ymovet he
weaveasideandpullsupt
hezipperofmydress.I
canfeelhi
sheightbehi
ndmeandhi scol
ogne
cannotbemistakenwit
hanyone'
s.
“
Thankyou,
”Isay.
Hishandsremai
nonmywaist,hi
sbreat
hsare
heavybehi
ndmeandI'
m suddenl
yverysober
.
“
I'
m notgoi
ngt
ohur
tyouNt
obe.
”
Idon'
tsayanyt
hingnormove.West
andl
iket
hat
,a
fewmomentsofsilencepass.
“
Irespectyouasawomanandasani ndivi
dualwi
th
afullcapabi
li
tyofmakingherowndeci si
ons.But
f
orourf ir
stni
ghttoget
herIthoughtyou'dbemor e
welcoming,morelovi
ngandmor erespect f
ul.
”
“
Whatdi
dIdot
hatwassodi
srespect
ful
?”Iask.
“
Dri
nki
nganddr
essi
ngupl
iket
hat
.”
“
Itwon'
thappenagai
n.”
Hetur
nsmear ound.I
'
m abitner
voustolookathi
m
i
ntheeyesnow,Ishould'
vebr
oughtaglasswit
hme.
“
Doyoureal
lymeant
hat
?”heasksi
nal
most
whi
sper
.
“
Yesbutthatdoesn'
tmeant
hatyouhavet
her
ight
t
ocont
rolmyl i
fe,
”Isay.
“
DoIl
ookl
ikeacont
rol
ler
?”
“
Hel
lyes!
”
Hechucklesandbowshisheadt ostealaquickki
ss.
Itwassupposedtobejustapeckbuthi shands
grabbedmybuttandthekissdeepened.
“
Ever
ythi
ngaboutyout
urnsmeon,
”hewhi
sper
s.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandst
epbackf
rom hi
sembr
ace.
“
Youcamef
orsex?
”Iask.
“
What
?No.Iwantt
ospendt
imewi
thyou,
sexi
sjust
whatmybodydesi
res.Youl
ookhotandanyman
canbet
empted.
”
“
Sor
ry,
thatwon'
thappenanyt
imesoon,
”Isay.
Henodshi
sheadsl
owl
ywi
thasl
ightf
rownonhi
s
f
ace.
“We'
llhavetowaitf
or90daysbef
oreengagi
ngi
nto
anysexualact
ivi
ti
es,
”Isay.
“
Areyoumour
ning?
”Thef
rowngr
ows.
“No,it
'sarul
ethi
ng.Ifyoulovemeasmuchasyou
clai
mt henyouwon'thaveaprobl
em wai
ti
ng90
daysbeforeget
ti
ngbet weenmylegs.
”
Hechuckl
esi
ndi
sbel
ief
.Ikeepmyf
acest
rai
ght
,I
meanit
.
“Ntobeyou'
renotser
ious.Howam Igoingt
o
explai
ntothi
sorganthatyourcher
ryhassome
groundrul
es?”
Ishrugmyshoulders.“
He'
sbeenwi
thyousi
nce
bir
th,sur
elyyou'
l
lfi
ndawaytokeephi
mincheck.
”
.
.
-
-
We'r
eeati
ngandBusikhayaisstar
ingatmethe
wholet
ime.Mshibedoesn'
ttal
kthatmuch,nowthat
Busi
khayaisher
eit'
sevenworse.Thetabl
eis
awkwardl
yquiet
.
“
Howi
sSango?
”Ibr
eakt
hesi
lence.
“She'
sgood.
”Hedoesn'
thavethesameexci
tement
healwayshavewhent
alki
ngabouthi
ski
ds.
“
AndQophel
o?”
“Goodaswell
.”Heturnshi
satt
ent
iont
othefood
andIseethecornerofMshi
be'
seyest
eal
inga
glanceatme.
“
Ihavet
ogor
est
,”hesays.
“
Sur
e.”Busi
khayawi
thoutl
ooki
ngup.
Mshibetakeshispl
atewit
hhim anddisappears.
He'sgonefrom t
hebodyguar
dt oali
tt
lebrother.I
havemovedhi minsi
dethehouseandhi scompany
i
sthegreatestt
hingtol
ookforwardtoeveryday.
“Youlooktense,
”Isayst
eal
inggl
ancesat
Busikhaya.
Hedoesn'
tlookup.“
I'
m nott
ense.
”
“
Notenj
oyi
ngyourf
ir
stni
ght
?”Iask.
“
It
'snott
hat
.”
“
Whati
sitt
hen?
”
“Don'
tworryabouti
t.CanIgotakeabath?”Hel
if
ts
hisheadupandImeethi spai
nedface.I
sit
becauseof90daysr ul
e?
“Letmegoandpr epar ei
t.
”Iputmyfor
kdownand
pickupthesarvi
ette.Buthestopsmebef
oreIcan
takeonestepoffthechair.
“Iwil
ldoitmysel
f.Idon'
twantt
otroubl
eyou.
”He
getsofft
hechairandwalksaway.
“
Busi
khaya!
”Ical
laf
terhi
m.
Het
urnsar
ound,
fakesasmi
leandsaysi
t'
scool
.
I'
m cracki
ngmyheadt hi
nki
ngaboutthedramathat
j
ustunf ol
ded.Ist
andbyt herul
e,nosexunti
l90
days.ButwasIabi tharshtowar
dshim?Yesmen
havebr
okenmebutIshoul
dn'
tputal
lthatonhi
m.
Icleanthetabl
eandl eavet
hedishesonthesink.I
hadhopedt hatwe'dsnackandwat chaseri
es
together
.If
indhiml yi
ngonbedi nhisf
ullcl
othes,
excepttheshoes,andstari
ngatthecei
li
ng.
“
Busi
khaya,
”
Si
lence.
Icrawlonbedandsitnextt
ohim.Hewrapshisar
m
aroundmywaistandnowI ’
m conf
usedi
fther
e'sa
probl
em ornot
.
“
Youdon'
tlookhappy,
”Isay.
“
That
'sbecauseI
'
m not
.”
“
Becauseofme?
”Iask.
“Noit'
snotyou.IguessIgotaheadofmysel f
withoutaclari
fi
cationthatwewer eont hesame
page.”Heexhal esandt ur
nshisheadt ome.“I'
ve
beenal oneforsolong.Idon'tr
ememberwhenwas
thelasttimeIgotexcitedaboutseeingawoman.I
wasr estl
essthewhol eday,checki
ngmywat ch
everysecondandl ookingforwardtothesunset.
”
Ijustholdhi
shandandst ayqui
et.Thisi
sn'
tabout
sex,it
'saboutt
herelat
ionshipit
self
,thel
ovehewas
hopingtogiveandreceive.
“
Wear
enott
her
eyet
,ar
ewe?
”heasks.
“
Idon'
tunder
standyourquest
ion.
”
“
Youdon'
tlovemeNt
obe?
”
Thi
squest
iondoesnothaveanansweryet
,atl
east
nott
hestr
aight
estanswerhe'
slooki
ngf
or.
“
Idon'
tknow,
onl
yti
mewi
llt
ell
.”
Heexhalesandpullsof
fhisar
mthat
'sbeen
wrappedaroundmywai st
.He'
sdi
sappoi
ntedanda
partofmefeelsbad.
“
Wejustneedt
otaket
hingsslowl
y,”Isay,
hopi
ng
t
hathi
smoodwouldimprove.Thi
sdoesn'tmean
t
hatwe'
renott
oget
her
.
Heshut
shi
seyesf
orami
nut
eandt
hensi
tsup.
“
Pleasegi
vemesl
eepi
ngbl
anket
s.”
He'
ssleepi
ngonthef
loor
?!Gosh,
Idi
dn'
tknowhe
wasthi
sdramat
ic.
.
.
-
-

Mazwakhe' sphonerings,her eachesforitand

glancesatthescreen.It'
sthenumberhedoesn' t
recogni
ze,aft
ercontempl at
ingwhet hertoanswerit
orcontinuewit
hhi ssleephef inal
lydeci
dest o
answer.Hadheknownwhoi twashewoul dn'
thave
pickedup.
“
Canwet
alk?
”MaMbonambiasks.
“Yes.
”He'spi
ssedbuthekeepshi
svoi
cecal
m out
ofrespect
.
“Ihear
daboutever
ythi
ngthathappened.Idi
dn't
knowanythi
ngaboutyouexceptthatyourmother
hadat hi
ngwit
hmyhusband. ’
Hest ayssilent,
eventhoughhewishestoendthe
cal
lbef orethiswomancangof ur
therwit
hher
subject.Shehasal r
eadycall
edhi
smot herand
fat
her '
srelati
onshi
pa‘ thi
ng.
’Godknowshewon' t
beabletotol
erat
emore.Asmuchashehat es
Cel
iwe,hesti
llwon'
tal
lowpeopl
etodi
srespecther
memor y.
“Youneedtocomehomeandt r
adit
ional
lyapol
ogize
andcleant
hebloodyouhavespi
lti
nt hi
sfamil
y.”
“
Thatwon'
thappen,
”hesaysf
ear
lessl
y.
“I
thastobedone.You' r
enotpr otectedbythe
Mthembuancestorsasyouwer econceivedi
n
marri
ageandint
r oducedt oyourmot her'
s
husband'
sfamil
yasoneoft hem.Butyourson,
Qophelo,
isshel
teredbyt heMt hembus.Youdon’
t
wantyoursi
nstof al
lonhi sshoulders.”
Her
eleasesasi
ghandf
indst
hegut
stoendt
hecal
l.
Hesai dhe'ddoanyt hi
ngf orhissonandthisi
sn'
t
evenadi ff
icul
ttask.Hej ustneedtoputhispr
ide
aside,for
getaboutthef amilyfeudandfocuson
what '
sbestforQophelo.
Hi
sphoneri
ngsagai
n.Hel
etsoutagr
unti
n
i
rr
it
ati
onandanswer
s.
“
Iwi
llt
hinkabouti
t,
”hesays.
“
Thinkaboutwhat?
”Ayoungwoman'
svoi
cecomes
t
hroughthephone'
sspeaker
.
“
Andnow?Whoi
sthi
s?”Mazwakhe.
“
I'
m Vuyi
swa.
”
“
Whoi
sthat
?”
Vuyi
swagetspissedontheothersi
de.Thi
sis
get
ti
ngbor
ing,heshould'
vesavedhernumberby
now.
“Real
lyMazwi
?AnywayI
'
mjustchecki
ngupon
you.”
“
Lit
tl
egirli
fyouhavenot
hingtosaypleasel
eave
mealone.Yourf
ri
endismysisterandnotme.”
Vuyiswaknowst heatti
tude,itwasoneofthethi
ngs
shef el
linl
ovewith.Shedownt heremai
nsinher
glass,pl
uggingupthecour age.Ifshedi
es,
shedies!
“
That
'sr
ight,
you'
renotmyfri
end.Iwantmor
ethan
t
hatf
rom youMazwakhe,
”shesays.
Atf
ir
stMazwakhedoesn'
tgeti
t.
“
YouwantyourR300back?
”
“
No,
Iwantyou.
”
Theancestor
smustbereal
lyangr
ywithhim.Di
da
gi
rlj
ustaskhim out
?Inwhi
chworldhasthi
sever
happened?
“
Ireal
lycar
eaboutyouMazwi,l
ikefr
om thever
y
f
ir
stdaywecommuni cat
edoverthephone.”
Heneedst
ount
iehi
stongueandsaysomet
hing.
“Thankyou, Iappreci
atethatbutI'
m notlookingf
or
apar tner.EvenifIwas, i
twouldn'tbeyou.Please
don’tcallmeagai n, I
'
lle-
wall
etyourmoney.Thank
youf orthepi l
lowcasesandf orcari
ng,
”hesays.
“It
oldyouthatIdidn'
twantthatmoneyback.Igave
i
ttoyououtoft hegoodnessofmyhear t
.Pl
ease
don'
tsenditbackandpleasedon'tcutmeoff,
”
Vuyiswasaysalmostintear
s.
“Idon'
tneedanyf ri
endVuyi
swa,don'
tmakethi
s
hard.Ist
il
lrespectyouasmysist
er'
sfri
endbuti
f
youkeeppushi ngImightl
osei
t,
”hesays.
There'
sabitofsi
lence.Notevent
hewinecoul
d
saveVuyi
swaf r
om alltheembarr
assment
.
Event uallysheendst hecal landMazwakhesi ghsi n
reli
ef.Thatwast hemostawkwar dt hingthathas
everhappenedt ohi m.Agi rlaskedhi m out?!It'
shi s
dutyt oaskgi rl
sout .Hewonder showmanyguys
shehasaskedouti ntotal .Hisf ather….welltheman
whor aisedhi m, didtellhimt hatgi r
lsfrom thecities
wer edifferent.Hedoesn' tevenknowwhatat t
racted
thatkindofgi rltohi m.He' sapl ainvill
ageman
groundedi ncul tureandt raditions.Ofcour sehe' l
l
takeawi feonedaywhenhi sl i
fehasf all
eninto
place.Agoodwi fewho' llcookf orhim, washf orhi m
andbearhi m children.Theki ndofawi f
ewho' llfulf
il
herdut iesandr emai ninherr espectiveroleasa
wife,who' llrespecthi m asherhusbandandsubmi t
totraditionst andar ds.

Tocalm hi
mselfdownhecall
sHlahla.There'
salot
total
kaboutanyway,t
heydon'
ttal
kof t
enast hey
usual
lydidbef
orethewhol
eNgcwet hisi
tuati
on.
“
Youdon'
tsoundokay,
”hesays.
“
Rel
ati
onshi
ppr
obl
ems.
”
Hehuf fs,
regret
ti
ngwhyhepoi nt
edthatout
.Hei s
gratef
ulthatNgcwethiisinherli
feandtaki
nggood
careofher,butthatdoesn'tmeanheshouldbuttin
thei
raffai
rsnordoesi tmeanhel i
kesNgcwethiasa
person.
“Well,
Ihaver eall
if
epr obl
ems.Ihavetogocleanse
theMt hembuancest orsandapologi
zefor
everyt
hing.I'
m goingtodoi tf
ormyson, i
fitwasn't
forhimt heywould'vegott
enthatapol
ogyfrom thei
r
asses.”
“
Mazwakhe!
”Zanamuhl
ainshock.
“Idon'
tregr
etanythingHlahl
a.Bl
oodwi l
lnot
changehowt heytreatedusi
nthepast.Wrongi
s
wrong,i
tdoesn'tmat t
erwhoyouare.
”
“That
'sbecauseyoudon'tknowt hewholestory.A
l
othappenedbet weenmyf atherandyourfather.A
mandi edbefor
ewewer ebor n,yourMthembuuncl e,
andtheyblamedmyf atherjustli
kewebl amed
thei
rsforourmother'
sdeath.Didyouknowt hat
motherwasf or
cedtomar rymyf ather
?”
“
No,
”Mazwakhe.
“
Didyouwi
tnessanyl
ovei
nthei
rmar
ri
age?
”
“Ummm…. maybewhenIwasstil
lyoung,
butit
endedandIdon'
tthi
nknei
theroft
hem cared.
”
‘
Exact ly!Thisi stoodeepf orustounderstand,I
don'tthinkweevenneedt ogobackt her
e.The
Mt hembusar ewill
ingtoforgi
veyouandacceptyou,
i
fyoucan' tchanget hepastatleastcont
rolyour
future.Youar enotanor phan,youhavebr other
s
whosi lentlycar eaboutyouandast epmotherwho'
s
willi
ngt omaket hingsrightbet
weent hetwoofyou.
Soi fyout hinkyourpr oblemsar eworse,l
ookatmy
l
ife.Doyout hinkIhaveaf amil
yt hatcar
esabout
me? ”
“
I'
m her
eHl
ahl
a,don'
ttal
kli
ket
hat
.”
“
Doyougett
hepoi
ntt
hough?
”
“
Yes.
”
“
Great!Ineedt ocheckonmyf
ri
end,
she'
sgoi
ng
t
hroughper sonali
ssues.
”
“
Whi
chf
ri
end?
”heasksanxi
ousl
y.
“
Vuyi
swa.It
hinkhercr
ushr
eject
edher
.He'
sal
l
we'
vebeenheari
ngaboutthi
spastweek.Shereal
ly
l
ovedherar
rogantguy,
herhear
tmustber eal
ly
br
oken.
”
“Whywouldshefall
inlovewi
thsomeonewhowas
notaski
ngherout?Ist
hatnor
mallyhowshei
s?”
Zanamuhl
aletsoutashor
tchuckle.Whodoeshe
thi
nkVuyi
swais?Normall
y?There'snot
hingnor
mal
aboutt
hatgi
rl
.
“Fi
rstofal lVuyiswadoesn'tl
ove.Ohwel lthatwas
beforemeet ingt hear
rogantguy.Sheonl yinvol
ve
herselfwithmenf ort
hebenefit
sandt rustme, we
wereal lsurpri
sedbyt hesuddengood- gi
rlactsunti
l
wef oundoutshewassavi ngher sel
fforacr ush.
”
“
That
'sr
eal
lyst
range.
”Hehasaf
rownonhi
sface.
“
Iti
sandIbet
terchecki
fshe'
snotki
ll
ingher
sel
fin
t
hatroom.
”
“Pl
easedoandmakesur eshe'
sokay.
”Hisown
voi
cesoundsworr
ied.Buti
t'
shersist
er'
sfr
iend,
he
hastoworr
y,r
ight
?
Hesl
ideshi
sphonei
nsi
det
hepocketandwal
ksout
ofhisshackforsomef r
eshair.Heshouldn'
tbe
thi
nkingaboutthatgi
rl
,she'
snothistowor r
yabout
.
Howeverhishandsgoagai nsthismind,
hedi al
s
Hlahl
a’snumberandcal l
sheragain.
“
Areyoual
one?
”heasks.
“Ummm no….j
ustgi
vemeasecond.”There’
ssome
movementandthesoundoft
hedoorclosi
ng.“
We
cant
alknow.”
“
I'
mjustchecki
ngi
fyouhavet
alkedt
oVuyi
swa.
”
“
Ohyouknowhername?It
houghtyoudi
dn'
t.
”
“Ichoosewhattor
ememberandwhen.Ar
eyou
goingtoanswermeornot
?”
Zanamuhl
asensest
heat
ti
tudeandr
oll
shereyes.
“She'
snotokaybutVuyi
swai
sast
ronggi
rl
,shewi
ll
survi
ve.
”
“Howdoyoumeasurepeopl
e'
sstr
engthsmadam?
Oryouguessbasedonwhatt
heyputonthef
ront
?”
“I
fyoucandoabet
terjobwhyareyounotfl
ying
downtoKZNandoffer
ingyourser
vices?
”
Zanamuhl
a.
“
She'
snotmyf
ri
end,
it'
snoneofmybusi
ness.
”
“Yetyoucall
ed…….wai
tMazwakhe,
areyout
heone
she'sbeencrushi
ngon?”
“
You'
ref
ini
shi
ngmyai
rt
ime,
bye.
”
“Ohmygosh, you'
realsoarr
ogantand……. ”Call
ended.Zanamuhlalooksatthescreenindisbel
ief
.
Whydi dn'
tsheseethisone?Alldotsareconnecti
ng.
“Vuyi
swaandMazwakhe?JesusChr i
st!
”

Ontheothersi
deMazwakher egret
smakinghi
slast
phonecall
.Whydidhecare?Itwasnoneofhis
busi
ness.Heneedstobl
ockthisgirlf
rom
cont
acti
nghim.Hecannotpredictwhatshemaydo
next
.
Loggingint heapphiseyesquicklynot
ice
Busikhaya'semptychathist
ory.Itshowsthathe
sentmul t
iplemessagesanddel et
edthem befor
e
Mazwakhecoul dreadt
hem.
Wondersf
il
lhi
shead.Whatdi
dhewanttosayand
whydidhedel
etet
hosemessagesbef
oreheread
t
hem?I fsomethi
ngwaswr
ongwi
thQophel
ohe
woul
d'vecall
ed.
[
11/
19,
09:
50] :Chapt
erTwent
yFour
Zanamuhl
a

Thingsar egoi ngtoof ast.Todayt heMt hembus

broughtl obola.Well halfofit,t
heywer enotallowed
topayever yt
hi ngatonceevent houghNgcwet hi
want edto.Hewant st hisweddi ngasi ntomorrow.I
knowIshoul dbef eel i
ngsomeki ndoff ear,
thi
sis
real
lyhappeni ng,i
nnot imeI '
l
lbesomeone' swi f
e.
Butt hat'
snott hecase, I'm actual
lylookingfor
war d
toit.Itdoesn'tneedasaget oseet hatI'
m not
welcomedher e.Atleastint womont hst i
meI '
l
lbe
outoft heirhair.
Iwantedt ohaveaprivatemomentwi t
hNkanyiso
beforeleavi
ng.IunderstandthatIhavenosayin
thepridepri
ceorwhat ever,buti
t'
simportantf
orme
toknowhowt hey'
replanningtospendit.Ther
eare
otherexpensestoconsider,weddingplansandall
.
“
Zanamuhl
a,”sayssomeonef
rom t
hedoor
.
ThankGodi t'
shim!Hecameatt heri
ghttime, Izip
thebagandcal lhimi n.He'
sawkwar dl
yt allforhis
age,eventall
erthanMazwakhe.Hehast obendhi s
neckinordertofitthroughthedoor.Ilovet henew
swagg, I
gcokamaEl i
sha’sbrandfr
om headt otoe.
He'sactual
lyawal kingR5000r and,i
fnotmor e.
Thesemaskandicl othesarequitecostly,Iwon’t
evenstartonthebr andedtowelthatcostst heprice
ofamai zemeal .
“
Youl
ookni
ce,
”Isay.
There'
sapompoussmi le.Thesmil
ethatt
heli
kesof
Patr
iceMotsepecrackatthel
ousycompli
ments.
Theonethattel
lsyou‘t
hisisj
ustapeak,t
her
e'sa
l
otmor e.
’
“Well
,It
ry.
”Heshrugshi
sshoul
dersandwalks
aroundt
hebedli
kehe'sRamaphosahimsel
f.
“Iwantedtotal
kt oyouaboutt
heweddi ng.Vuyi
swa
knowsapl annerwhochargesreasonablyandhe's
thebestintown,”Isay.
“
Apl
annerof
….?
”Hel
if
tsuphi
seyebr
ow.
“
Theweddi
ngpl
anner
,someonewhowi
llpl
ant
he
weddi
ng.
”
“Whymustwehiresomeonetoplan?Zandi
leand
Khet
hil
ewil
lhel
pwiththepr
eparati
ons.
”
He'sgot
tabekiddi
ngme!Thosetwofool
sdidn't
evenfi
nishschool
.Theycoul
dn'
tpl
anstudytabl
es,
howwoul dtheypl
anthewhol
ewedding?
“IwantarealweddingNkanyi
so.Itwi
llbemyfi
rst
andlastwedding,
Ineedeveryt
hingtobeper
fect.
”
“You'
renotthefirstpersont
ogetmarr
iedi
nthi
s
famil
y.RememberwhenAuntNozi zwegotmar
ried,
ourmot her
splannedi tandi
twasthemost
beauti
fulwedding.”
Hell,
no!Donotst artmeonAuntNozi zwe's
weddingthatlookedl i
keabir
thdaypartyofa70
yearoldgranny.Iremembert hecakeverywell
,I
didn'
tknowi twasokayt obakebread,cutout
crumpsandpl asterthesof
tpartwithi
cing.
Oh,andwesatonbenchesthatwereborr
owed
fr
om somechurch.Thebr
ideworewhatlookedl
ike
herowngrandmother
'smatr
icbal
l'
sdress.
“
No!Youwi
llgi
vemeapr
operweddi
ng,
”Isay.
“Zanamuhlayouhavenosayi nthi
smoney.Myj ob
i
st osendyouof fandIwilldot hat
.Ihaveot her
expensestotakecareof,wehaven' tperformedthe
fi
rstceremonyforDadandt hereareotherthingsto
do.”Het ur
nsaroundandwal kstowardst hedoor,
butbeforeheexithelooksback.
“Theyneedtopaybacki hlawulothatDadpai df or
Mazwakhe.I twasn’
thisjobtopayf orthechildhe
didn'tmakeandthevirgi
nityhedidn'tbreak.Ki
ndly
passt hemessagetoyourbel ovedhusbandt o-be.
”
Het urnsar
oundandl eaves.
Sonofabi tch!Mazwakheisstil
lst
ruggli
ngwithhi
s
newi dentit
y,thecommuni t
ycannotfindoutabout
thi
syet .Ican'tbel
ievehe'
sdoingthi
st oMazwakhe
aftereveryt
hinghehasdonef orhim.Thiscoward
cannotevenf i
ghtforhi
mself,
Mazwakhewas
alwayssavi nghisass.

“
Lovelybri
de,ar
eyoureadytogo?
”Vuyiswa
wal
kingin.She'
sget
ti
ngverycomfor
tabl
eand
for
gett
ingthemainr
easonIaskedhertocome.I
wishBontl
ehadcomeaswel l
,unfor
tunat
elyher
ownfamilymatt
erscameupandshecoul dn'
tcome.
“Yeah,let
'sgetoutofher
e.”Ipi
ckmybagup.
There'snoneedt osaygoodbye,nobodycar
es,
they'
llonl
yneedmewhent heMt hembuscome
again.
“
HasMazwakhecal
ledyout
oday?
”
I
'm get
ti
ngti
redofthetwoofthem.Ifi
t'
snother
,it
’s
Mazwakhe.Irepor
tbackandfort
h.Howi s
Mazwakhe….I
sVuyiswaokay…it'
sti
ri
ng!
“
Hedi
d,”Isayf
lat
ly.
“
And?
”
“
Hewant
edt
oknowi
fthi
ngsar
eokay.
”
“
Thi
ngsonl
y?”Shel
i
ftshereyebr
ow.
Ir
ollmyeyes.“
Andyouofcour
se.
”
ThankGodt hetaxicomesbef or
ehercheekscr ack
fr
om endlesssmiles.I
t'
sreall
yweirdthatshe'
s
att
ract
edt oMazwakheandsheact uallymadet he
fi
rstmove.Mypoorbr otherneedscounsell
ing
whereverhei
s.Clear
lyheal
socar
esaboutVuyi
swa,
i
t'
sthewayshei sasapersont
hatscar
eshim.
Yeshei
sscar
ed,
Icanpr
ovei
t.
“Hlahl
aI’
m atwork,”heanswer
sjustasI
'm aboutto
drop.Vuyi
swar ai
seshereyebr
ownexttome, Idon'
t
tel
lheranyt
hing.
“
Oh,
sor
ry.Iwasj
ustchecki
ngonyou,
”Isay.
“
Wel
lI'
m good.Di
dyout
alkt
oNkanyi
so?
”
Ireal
lydon'twanttobotherhi
m wit
htheNgwane
probl
ems, he'
stryi
ngtowor konhimselfandIknow
i
fhef i
ndsoutwhatNkanyi soisuptohe'l
ltakethe
fi
rstt
axitoKZN.Hopef ull
yNgcwethicaninter
vene
andhelpont hi
sone.
“
No,
Idi
dn'
tgett
hechance,
”Il
ie.
“
Letmeknowwhenyouhavet
alkedt
ohi
m.”
“
Okay.BythewayI
'
m wi
thVuyi
swaandshewant
s
t
osayhell
o.”
“
Yoursi
gnali
sbad,
Icannothearyou.
”
“
Noi
t'
snot
….hel
lo….
Mazwakhe?
”
Well
,he'
sgone.Iwantt
olaugh,
afternothavi
ngany
phobi
ahi swhol
eli
femybrot
herisfi
nall
ysuff
eri
ng
fr
om gir
lophobi
a.
“
It
'snotf
unny,
”Vuyi
swasaysabr
upt
ly.
“
Itis,
youjustdon'
tgett
hej
oke.You'
retheonl
y
t
hingint
hewor ldt
hatMazwakheisscar
edof.
”
“Real
ly?
”Herfacel
ight
sup.It
houghtshewas
angryatme!
“Yesbutdon'
tpullaJulanionhi
m.Youal r
eady
l
ower edyour
….ummm…yourQueenofqueens
standardbymakingthefir
stmove.Leavethebal
l
onhishands.”
Sheheavesasi
gh.“
You'
rer
ight
,it
'sj
ustt
hatIwor
ry
abouthi
m.”
“
I'
m hi
ssi
ster
,Iwi
llt
akecar
eofhi
m.”
.
.
-
-
Thingsdi dn'tgoasBusi khayawant edbuthe
under st
andswher eNt obeiscomi ngfrom.I t
'sthe
90dayst hingt hathedoesn' tunderstand.Itfeels
l
ikeapuni shment ,
he'spayi ngf orwhatt hatidi
ot,
Thul ani
,did.Whyi shesosof tonhim?He' sbeen
harassingher ,stal
kingherandt hr
eateningtokill
herf orcost i
nghi sbusi nessi mportantdeals.
Insteadofdeal ingwi t
hhi m,Busi khayahasbeen
tryi
ngt opr ovehi mselft oNtobeandpr otecti
ngher
from thedevi l.Andnowhehast opayf orhissins?!
“I'
vebeenknocking,
”Mndenisaysl
etti
nghimsel
f
i
nsidethebedroom.Busi
khayadoesn’tshi
ftf
rom
thewindow,hekeepspull
inguptheleat
hergl
ovein
hishand.
“
Areyougoi
ngsomewher
e?”Mndeniasks.
“
It
'saboutt
imeIpayThul
aniavi
sit
.”
Mndenif
rowns.“
Nont
obeko’
sex-
boyf
ri
end?
”
“Hewasnotherboyf r
iend,j
ustaloserwhousedher
ashisladdert
osuccess.”Het ur
nsaroundand
walkstothedrawerbesidesthebed.Hepul
lsitand
takesoutthegun.
“Comeon, youhavetoat
tendSango'
sdance
classest
omor r
ow,”Mndeni
.
“
It
'snotevengooddanceclasses.Allt
heydoi
s
j
umpandst ret
chthei
rlegsaround.
”
Mndeniburstsint
olaughter.Heonl
yattendedt
hose
cl
assesonceandi twast hemostbori
ngt hi
nghe'
s
everwatched.Nowhej ustmakeexcuseswhenever
Sangoinvit
eshimt oat
tendwi t
hher.
“Thatshiti
ssowack.I'drathersi
tathomeandhelp
MaMbonambif eedherchickenst
hantoseethat
shiteveragai
n.”
“Whatshi
t?”Ngcwet
hiwalksin.Heseesthegunin
Busi
khaya'
shandbutitdoesn'tseem t
oshockhi
m.
Hecamet ostophi
m.Theydon' tneedmorebl
ood
onthei
rhands.
“
Sango’
sst
ret
chi
ngcl
asses,
”Mndenisays.
“I
t'
scall
edBall
et.Ther
e'spl
ier
,ét
endr
e,r
elever
,
gl
isser
,saut
erand…….”
“
Stopwithnonsense,
they'
rest
retchclasses!
”
Mndenicut
shim short
.Theybothsitonbedand
l
ookatBusi
khayast
andi
ngmi
ndl
essl
yint
hemi
ddl
e
oft
heroom.
“
Kil
li
ngspr
ee?
”Ngcwet
hiasks.
“Whatdoyouexpectmetodo?Hefucked
NontobekoupandnowIhavetopayfori
t.90days
wit
houtanysex?Whatki
ndofrul
eisthat
?”
“
ActLi
keALady,
Thi
nkLi
keAMan,
”Ngcwet
hi.
“
What
???
”Busi
khayaandMndeniaski
nuni
son.
“
There'
sanAmer i
cancl
ownwhowrot
eabookand
t
hat
'swhereal
lthi
s90daysshi
tcamefr
om.
”
Theshockonthei
rfaces!Ngcwethial
wayst el
lthem
tor
eadbooksandgetknowl edge.Seethei
r
i
gnorancenow.
“
Heneedst
obedeal
twi
th,
”Mndenisays.
“
He'
sri
chandf
amous,
youcannotdoanyt
hing.
”
“Wellthelight
ningthatwillst
ri
kehi mi ssti
lldoi
ng
push-upsi nheaven,”Mndenisaysandt heyboth
breakintolaughter,
mucht ot
hei r
rit
ationof
Busikhaya.Whyar et heyeveninhisr oom?He
shouldn'thavetoldthem aboutthis90dayst hi
ng.
They'
l
lusei
tanychancet
heygetandmockhi
m.
“Whenthej
okeisoverpl
easegetoutofmyr
oom,
”
hesaysshoot
ingafi
ercel
ookatthem.
“
No,wel
ovethisbed.It
'snotl
iket
her
ewi l
lbeany
l
adywar
mingitanyti
mesoon,”Ngcwethisays.
“
Ofcour
se,
actl
ikeamanandt
hinkl
ikeal
ady.
”
“I
t'
sActLi
keALady,
Thi
nkLi
keAMan,
”Ngcwet
hi
corr
ect
shim.
“
Nodi
ff
erence,
it'
sst
il
lnosexf
or90days,
”Mndeni
.
Laughter
!Thisti
meBusikhayadragsthem of
fhis
bedtothedoor.Theywishhim alamegoodnight
andleaveinsti
tches.
Heput sbackt heguni nsidethedr awerandlieson
bed.Thepastf ewdayshavebeenhar donhi m.
There'
sal otgoingoni nhi smind.Nt obebeingat
thetopofhist houghts, t
henthere'shisbronemy.
Helivesinashack, sur vi
vingont hepiecejobshe
getsfrom cl
ientsthey'vebeenr eferr
ingtohim.
MaMbonambiwantshi
mt ocomeandapol
ogi
zet
o
t
heancest
ors.I
t'
sther
ightt
hingt
odo,
for
Qophel
o'ssake,
howeverBusi
khayaknowshow
Mazwakhetakethi
ngs.
Tohi m he'snotjustabronemyanymor e,he'
sa
fatherofhisson.Hehadever yrighttotakeQophelo
from him buthechosenott o.I
t'
stimef orthoset
wo
wor dstobesai d.Thepastneedstost ayinthepast
,
Qophelowi llneedbothofthem i
nhi slif
e.
Hehadt ypedal otofmessagesinthepastand
changedhismi ndbef or
eMazwakhecoul dread
them.Inthem hewasexpl ai
ninghi
msel f
,just
if
ying
hisdoi
ngsandusi ngthei
rsonasthereasonwhy
theyshouldmakepeace.Butt hetr
uthis,heonly
hadtotypetwowor ds.
*
*I'
m sor
ry*
*andhi
tsend.
Mazwakher
eadst
hemessagebuthedoesn'
t
r
espond.

**Imissthepartofmethatyourpresenceawakens.
Ihopeyou'rewarm whereyouare.Iloveyou
Ntobe.*
*Het ur
nst oNontobekoforcomfort
.
Unl
ikeMazwakhet
her
e'sar
epl
y.
*
*Thankyou,
haveagoodni
ght
**That
'sal
litsays.

It
'sbeensolongsincehelastheardanyonetelli
ng
himthreei
mpor t
antwords;Iloveyou.He'st
ryingto
moveonbutl i
feisnotal
lowinghimt o.Ther
e'sno
wheretomoveont o.
Hetakestheboxhepr
omi sedhi
mselfthathe’
l
l
neveropenagai
nandsit
swi t
hitonbed.
She'
ssmili
nginheavennow,Godi
sbl
essedt
osee
herbeaut
if
uleyesever
yday.
“Nombusoyourki dsar egrownnow.I t
'sweirdbeing
theonl ymaninSangel i
hle’
sclasses,
otherli
ttl
e
girl
sbr i
ngthei
rmot hersandIknowdeepdownshe
wishest obeaccompani edbyhermot hertoo,even
i
fi t
'sforoneday.Andt hat'
stheonlythi
ngIcannot
givethem.Icannotgi vethem you.
”Heexhalesand
staresatthepict
ure.
“I
t'
sQophel
oIworr
yaboutt
hemost
.He'saquiet
chi
ld,
Idon'
tknowwhatt
odomostoft
hetimes,I
j
ustdowhatIthi
nkwi
llbet
hebest
.It
hinkhe
missesyou.
”
Theknockdistur
bshi
m.Whycan'tpeopl
egivehim
space?It
'sal
most10pm,whathappenedtothei
r
warm beds?
“
Mndeniorwhoeveryouar
e,goaway,
”heyel
ls.
“
Babaaa!
”-Sangel
ihl
e’
svoi
ce.
Hehidsthephot
osandqui ckl
yrushestot
hedoor.
“Ar
eyouokay?”Concernfi
llshi
svoiceashel
if
ts
herupchecki
ngifanyt
hinghurther.
“
Iwantt
osl
eepher
e,”shesays.
“Sangel
ihleyouknowt hi
sisBaba'
sroom,you
cannotsleephere.Haveyoueverseenmesleepi
ng
i
nyourr oom? ”
“YesIhave.”Sango'
sansweri
sver
yqui
ckand
str
aight
forward.
Busikhayachucklesandkissesherforehead.He
neversleepsinherroom,heonlypretendstoso
thatshe'dfal
lasl
eepandthenhet i
ptoehi swayout
.
Sheunt
angl
esher
sel
ffr
om Busi
khaya'
sar
msand
j
umpsonbed.Shej umpsupanddownunt
il
Busi
khayaaskshertost
op.
“Bab’Ngcwethisai
dpr incessesdosl eepwi ththei
r
kingsift
heyli
ke.”Shesl idesi nsi
dethecovers.
Busikhaya'
sphonebr ightensup, thereisabubble
poppingsoundthatcausesSangot ogi ggl
e.Why
hasn'thedel
etedthesest upidgamest hough?
Thankst oNgcwethiforthecompany, hewon'thave
achancet ogoanywher et oni
ght.
.
.
Zanamuhl
a

He'salwaysdr
eamingaboutsomethi
ngandhe
takeshisdr
eamsseri
ousl
y.Buttodayi
t’
sst
range,
hewokeupanddr oveher
ebecauseofacert
ainbad
dream.
“Ngcwet
hiyou'
rescar
ingme.Atl
eastdr
ink
somethi
ng,
”Isay.
“
NoI
’
m okay.
”Hecont
inueswi
thhi
sst
ari
ngandj
aw
-cl
enching.Thankgoodnessit
'sjustmeandhim.
Vuyiswaleftearl
y,shesai
dthere'
sasal e
somewher eandshewant stolay-buyher100t
hpai
r
ofboots.
“
Tal
ktome.What
’sgoi
ngon?
”Iask.
“
Iwant
edt
oseeyou.
”
“
Why?
”
“
BecauseIl
oveyou.
”
Hecanbewei rdwi
thlimit
s.Ther
e’snoneedto
overdoi
t.Iknowhelovesme,buttojustdr
iveher
e
totel
lmet hat
?!
“Am Iindanger?”Thi
scouldbetheonlyreasonf
or
thi
sbehavior.Maybehe'sheret
oprotectme
againstwhateverhesensed.
“
Yes…No…Imean,
babecomeher
e.”
Iam her
e!Whi
chot
herher
eisher
e?
“
Look,
wedi
dn'
tdot
hingsr
ight
,”hesays.
It
houghthesaidheknewever
ythi
ngandhe'
s
al
waysright
,whati
sthisnow?
“
How?
”Iask.
“Well,
notexact
lymeandyou.Yourfamily.Ther
eis
umemul othatwasspokenint
oexi
stenceinthe
presenceofyourancest
ors.
”
“
Umemul
o?”Thi
sist
hef
ir
stt
imeI
’
m hear
ingabout
t
his.
“Yesandi
thastohappenbefor
ewegetmar
ri
ed.
Didyouhaveanybackpai
nlastni
ght
?”
Myhandinvolunt ar
il
ytouchesmyback.Ther
e'sno
pai
nanymore, Itookpainki
ll
ersandpl
acedapill
ow
undermebefor esleepi
ng.
“
Yes,It
hinkIhurtmybackont
het
axiseatonour
waybackhere,
”Isay.
“
No,
youdi
dn'
t.
”
Ohf
uckt
hen!
“Umemul oi snotabirt
hdaypar t
yyoucanpl anand
cancelwheneveryouchangeyourmi nd.Onceit'
s
mentionedancest or
sgetinvolved.That'
swhyeven
i
ftheper sonwhowaspr omisedumemul odies,t
he
famil
ystillperf
ormsitforher.It
'snotagame, you
ment
ioni
t,youdoi
t.
”
Wel
lIdidn'
tknowitwasthi
simpor
tant
.It
ooki
tas
t
heZulu21stbir
thdaypar
ty.
“
Idon'
tknowwhopr
omi
sedt
odoi
t,
”Isay.
“Mazwakhedi d,
itwasdisuccusedabovethekr
aal
andhepoi ntedtheexactcowt hatwouldbe
slaughter
edont hatday.Thingsli
kethatcancr
eat
e
real-
li
feproblemsifnothonoured.”
Deepbreat
h!Mazwakheisnolongerapartofmy
fami
ly.Hi
shandsareti
ed,hecannotdoanythi
ng.
“Theyhavesoldmostoft
hecows.”I
'
m hol
ding
backthetear
sburni
ngmyeyesandt hr
eat
eningt
o
comeout .Wedon'
thavemuchti
me,onlyt
wo
months.Whyisthi
scomingupnow?
“Thatcanbesorted,asl
ongast
heyper
for
mthi
s
ceremonyforyou,”hesays.
“
Whati
ftheyr
efuse?
”Iask.
“
Wecannotaf
for
dthat
.”
I
tseemsli
keIhavenochoi
cebuttocr
awlbackt
o
Nkanyi
soandbeg.Ngcwet
hicant
akecar
eofthe
wedding,i
ncludi
ngpayi
ngforwhatNkanyi
sowas
supposedtotakecar
eof,buthecannotdo
umemul oforme.

Bastard!He'
snotanswer
ingt
hephone.NowIhave
tocallthewi
tch!
“Zanamuhla,”shepicksupaft
erthesecondring.
Hercell
phonest aysbetweenherbreast
s,shewants
i
tnearerjustincasehergossi
p-buddiescal
l.
“Mamkhul
uIneedtotalktoNkanyi
soabout
somet
hingi
mportant
,”Isay.
“
He'
snother
e.Whati
sit
?”
“
Ther
e'ssomethi
ngt
hatneedst
obedonebef
ore
t
hewedding.Umemul
o.”
Ther
e'ssomesi
lence,
thent
heear
-br
eaki
ng
l
aughter
.
“Zanamuhlayouthi
nkyou’
respeci
al.Zandi
lei
s
olderthanyouandnocer
emonyhasbeendonef or
her.”
“
Thedi
ff
erencei
s,Iwaspr
omi
sedumemul
oand
Nkanyi
sohasmyl
obol
amoneyt
hatwi
llhel
phi
m
per
formit
.”
“Youwon’ttel
luswhatt odo.I
fyouhaveapr obl
em
withNkanyi
sohavi ngyourl
obolapeanutst
hen
comeandt akeallofit
.Don'
tharassus!”
Cal
lended!Am Ibeingtest
edorwhat
?Sheknows
ver
ywellthatIcannott
akemylobol
a‘peanut
s’and
doumemul omyself.
“
Whatdi
dshesay?
”Ngcwet
hiasksbehi
ndme.
Irel
easeasi
ghandl
ookathi
m wi
tht
ear
srunni
ng
down.
“
Theywon'
tdoi
t.
”
“
Don'
tcr
yst
handwasami
,we'
l
lfi
ndaway.
”
FucktheNgwanes!They'
rereall
ycruelpeopl
e,t
he
Mthembushavebeenr i
ghtallal
ong.
.
.
-
-
Phoner
ings.Ngcwet
hi'
snumberpopsont
he
scr
eenandMazwakhesi
ghs.Hej
ustcamefrom
work,
allhewant
sisawar
m mealandbed.
*
*It
'saboutyoursi
ster
**Thet
extf
oll
owsup.
Hisheartl
eapswhenhereadsi
t.CouldHlahl
abei
n
danger?Hedial
sandcal
lsNgcwethiback.
“
Wher
eisshe?
”heasksassoonNgcwet
hipi
cksup.
“
Shei
sint
heki
tchen.
”
“
Yousai
dsomet
hingwaswr
ongwi
thher
.”
“
Ineversai
dthat
,Isai
ditwasabouther
.”
Mazwakhecl
ickshi
stonguei
nir
ri
tat
ion.
“Anyway,doyourememberumemul ot
hatwas
supposedtohappen?
”Ngcwethiasks.
Hi
smemor yserveshi
mf r
esh.Yes,
hewaspl anning
t
odoumemul oforHlahl
awithNkanyi
so,butshe
f
ellst
upi
dinloveandhehadtocanceleveryt
hing.
“
Itneedstohappenbefor
etheweddingandt
he
f
amilyref
usestodoit
,”Ngcwet
hisays.
“
Ican'
tsayI
’
m sur
pri
sed,
”Mazwakhe.
“Thi
ngscanbebad.Youf oughtyourbl
oodfamil
y
forj
ust
ice,
surel
yyoucanf i
ghtthosewhoraised
youupforthesamereasons.”
Mazwakheexhales.He'sbeenthebadguyal most
hi
swholeli
fe.Healwayshast ofightt
ogetwhathe
want
s.Hehast oshedbl oodbeforepeopl
elist
ent
o
hi
m,befor
etheydor ightbyhim andhissi
ster.
“Tel
lHlahl
aIsai
dhel
lo.
”Heendsthecal
landst
art
s
packi
nghiscl
othesi
nasmallbag.
Thearmywillturnagainstoneanotherandthei
r
opponent
swi l
lbewat chingfr
om theothersi
deof
theri
verwi
thgl assesofwhiskyi
nt hei
rhands.
[
11/
19,
09:
51] :SUNDAYBONUS
.
.
Chapt
erTwent
yFi
ve

It
’saqui
etnightbr
ight
enedbystarsal
igni
ngthe
skyandapieceofmoont easi
ngtheni
ght.Theonl
y
soundcomi ngi sofscut
tl
ingrat
sandasmal lpuppy
quarreli
nginfrontofwhatusedtobeMazwakhe' s
house.Hei gnoresthesuddendejecti
oni
nhi sheart
andwal kspastit.Hehassomanymemor iesoft hi
s
place,evenafterfi
ndi
ngoutthetruthhest
illwishes
i
twashi shome.
There'sadogjumpingupanddowni nfr
ontofhi
m,
wrappingitst
ail
aroundhi
slegandyippi
nghappil
y.
Hebr ushesit
sbackandhushesitaway.
HestopsinfrontofMamkhul u’
srondaveland
knocks.Ever
yoneisasleep,i
t’
sjustfi
veticksaway
fr
om 11pm.Heonl yleftMaCushatarvenwhent hey
wereclosi
ngup.Hear rivedi
nMpof anabefore5pm
andpassedtimebyst ayingi
nthetavern.Therewas
nowher etogo.
“
Whoi
sthat
?”t
hesl
eepyvoi
cecomesi
nsi
de.
Hedoesn'
tanswer
,inst
eadheknocksagai
n,har
der
t
hist
ime.
“Iaskedwhoareyou?”Nowthevoicei
scl
earand
pissed.Bef
oreMazwakhecanknockagai
nthe
soundofakeyturni
ngcanbeheard.Assoonasthe
doorhandl
emoveshepushest
hedoorandst
eps
i
nside.
“
Whoi
sthi
s?”sheasks.
Tomaket hi
ngseasierforherMazwakher eaches
uptotheli
ghtswit
chandt urnsiton.Heflashes
teet
h-r
eveal
ingsmil
et hatl
astonlyhalfasecond.
“
Mamkhul
u,howi
sli
fe?
”heasks.
“Mazwakhe!
”She'si
ndi
sbel
ief,
rubbi
ngand
narr
owinghereyesf
ort
heclearpi
ctur
eofwhati
sin
fr
ontofher.
“
Whatdoyouwant?Itol
dyout
hatyou'
renol
onger
wel
comedher
e,”shesays.
“I
'm nother
et ostay,
buthopef
ull
ywhatIcameto
deli
verwil
lstayinyourear
sbecauseIdon'
twantt
o
comeher eagain,
”Mazwakhesays.
“Whyar eyoudeli
veri
ngthingsatt hi
sti
me?I '
m
sl
eeping,can'
tyousee?”Shet urnsaroundand
cl
imbsonherbed.Mazwakher emainsstandi
ng,
onlythenshereal
izesthatitmightnotbea
pleasantvi
sit
.Shehasseent hislookahundred
ti
mesbefor
e,nomercyevercomesoutofi
t.I
t'
sthe
samelookhehadt
hedayhewentt oki
llhi
sown
fat
her
,Madoda.
“What'
sgoi
ngon,son?
”Shesi
tsupandl
ooksat
him abi
tal
armed.
“Son?Youhaveasonwholooksl
ikeme?”Hesteps
closerandst
andsj
ustaf
ewfeetawayfr
om herbed.
Sheclearsherthroat
,acol
dshi
verr
unni
ngdown
herspine,butshecover
sherf
earwi
thasmil
e.
“
DoesNkanyi
soknowthatyou'
reher
e?Hewant
ed
t
ocal
lyouafew……….”
Thegunrest
sont hepil
lownextt
oher,wor dsgo
backt
oherchestasshest ar
esattheobjectnextt
o
herwi
thfear
.Herheartalmostl
eapsoutofher
thr
oat
,herchestt
urnsdriert
hantheSaharadesert
s.
“I
fIcankillmybloodf at
herformist
reati
ngt heman
Ithoughtwasmyf ather,whatmakesyout hi
nkI'
d
sparemymot her'
ssi st
erwif
eformistr
eatingmy
si
ster?”Hecannotfindhereyesevent houghhe's
glari
ngstr
aightatherface.Hereyesareroami ng
everywher
e,exceptatMazwakhe.
“
I'
m notf
oll
owi
ng,
”shecr
oaksl
ikeasi
ckr
oost
er.
“Youdon'thavetofoll
ow,
dorightbymysi ster.
From t
hesum ofmoneyyouhaver equest
edf or
l
obolaIdon'tthi
nkit'
l
lmakeyoupoort odo
umemul oforheranddowhatisexpectedfrom you
asthebride'
sfamil
y.”
“Oh,you'r
etal
kingaboutt
hat?Ofcoursewe'l
ldo
ever
ythinginourpowertohonoureverysi
nglewi
sh
ofhers.
”
“Di
dn'tyourefuse?
”Hepi cksthegunandt racesher
j
awlinewiththemuzzle.There'
swar m water
fl
owingbetweenherlegsandal owbuzzingsound
comingfrom herbehi
nd.Theai rchangesinstant
ly,
Mazwakhecur sesandcover shisnose.
“Nextti
meyou'l
lfar
tonyourwaytothechapelof
rest
,”hetal
ksbeneat
hhishandsandquickl
ywalks
outofthedoor.

Thenextper
sonfort
hesurpr
isevi
siti
sNkanyi
so.
Heopensthedoorhal
f-
nakedandtell
sMazwakhe
tocomein.
“
Ithoughtyouwer
enotal
lowedher
e,”hesays.
Mazwakheonl yfoll
owsbehi ndhim anddoesn'tsay
anythi
ng.Everyt
hinghasbeenchanged, t
he
windows,bed,wardrobeandbedsi detabl
e.
Nkanyisoisnowamanl ivi
nghi sdream,ther
e'sa
humanl yi
ngonbedwi t
hherf acecoveredandher
l
ongsi l
kyhairhuggingthepill
ow.Lifemustbe
real
lygood.
“Youcoul
d'vecal
ledifyouneededmoney, ”
Nkanyi
sowi t
hhisbackt urned.Somethi
ngcol
d
behi
ndhisneckforceshi mtot ur
naround.
“
Nkanyi
so,
”Mazwakhesayscal
mly.
“
What
'
sgoi
ngon?Pl
easer
emovet
hegun.
”
Hedoesn'
tremoveit,
Nkanyi
solet
soutashr
il
lcr
y
t
hatawakenstherest
inghumanonbed.
“
Icanpullthi
stri
ggeranysecondandwalkoutof
t
hisdoorasifnothi
nghappened.Butyou'
vebeen
myboy,I'
llgi
veyouachancet or
ecti
fyyour
mist
akes.
”
“
Iwi
lldoanyt
hingyouwantmet
odo,
justdon'
thur
t
me.
”
“
Youwil
ldowhatHlahlawant
syout
odowi
tht
he
moneyt
hat
'ssupposedtodoit
.”
NkanyisonodshisheadbeforeMazwakheeven
fi
nishesthel
astsent
ence.“Ipromi
se.I
'm goi
ngt
o
beagoodbr ot
hertoherfr
om nowon. ”
Mazwakheglancesatt
heyounggir
lwholooksli
ke
shecanfai
ntanyti
me,shei
ssomeone'sl
it
tl
esister
,
thi
sisnotascenehe'
dwantforayounggir
lli
keher
towit
ness.
“Don'
tmakemecomebackher eli
kethisagain,I
wil
lonlycomeforHlahl
a'
supcomingceremonies
withmyuncle.
”Hepushesthegunbehindhiswaist
andgiveshi
m onelastl
ook.
“Idi
dn'
tchangeonebi
t,onlyt
hesur
namedi
d,so
don'
tpatr
onizemeNkanyiso.
”
.
.
Theyhaveeyesandearsever
ywhere.Thewor
dhas
gott
othem thatMazwakhewasspottedi
nthe
tavernl
ateatni
ght.Heisnotadr
unkar
d,theonl
y
reasonhemust'vebeenther
ewasbecausehehad
nowheretogo.
“Bri
nghim homeBusikhaya.”Theordercomesf r
om
MaMbonambiandal lhissonsfindt
heirdiff
erent
dir
ecti
onsaroundthevil
lageinsear
choft hei
r
fat
her'
sfi
rstson.
Busikhayat
akesQophel
owit
hhi
m.Ifthere'
s
anythi
ngthatcoul
dmoti
vat
eMazwakhetoaccept
thathe'
saMt hembu,
iti
shi
ssonwhoalreadyl
ives
onthesurname.
“Doyouremembertheuncl
ewewenttothedoct
or
wit
h?”heasksQophel
oastheydr
iveoutoft
he
homestead.
“
TheonewhoshotBab’
Ngcwet
hi?
”Qophel
oasks.
ForamomentBusi khayaislostforwords.He
remembersthefuner ali
ncidentbuthehadhoped
thattheki
dsdidn'
tseei t
,oratleasttheyhave
forgott
enaboutit
.Unf or
tunatel
yhecannotprotect
Mazwakhef rom t
hisone.
“
Yeah,
thatone.Doyour
ememberhi
m?”
“
Yes,
”Qophel
onodshi
shead.
“
Hei
samemberofourf
ami
ly.Doyoul
ikehi
m?”
Qophel
ogiveshi
m ast
rangel
ook.“
Idon'
tli
keot
her
men,I'
m st
rai
ght
.”
Busi
khaya'
seyeswi
deni
nshock.
“
Howdoyouknowt
hat
?”
“I
'm att
ractedtogi
rls,
”Qophelosaysshruggi
nghis
shoulders.Fearki
cksBusikhaya’
sball
s.Thisboyi
s
only12year soldf
orgoodnesssake!
“
Youhaveagi
rl
fr
iend?
”heasks.
“
Babayou'r
ealsoat
tr
act
edt
ogi
rl
s,butdoyouhave
agi
rl
fr
iend?”
Ouchhh!Hesmi
lesandshakeshi
shead.He's
growi
ngupwaytoofastandget
ti
ngcleverbythe
day.
“Al
ri
ght
,Ihearyou.Iwi
llr
econst
ructmyquesti
on;
doyouthi
nkyoucanacceptthatuncl
einyourl
ife?
”
“
No,
hewant
edt
oki
llBab’
Ngcwet
hi.
”
“
Oneday,
whenyou'
reol
denought
ounder
stand,
I
wi
lltel
lyout het
ruth.He'
snotabadguy,
your
motherlovedhim andIknowshe'
dwantyoutol
ove
hi
m aswel l.
”
“ButItol
dyouIdon'
tloveot
hermen.
”Qophel
ois
gett
ingfedup.
“
SorryJama,Imeantt
hatshe'dl
oveyout
ohavea
r
elat
ionshi
pwit
hthatuncl
e.”
“
Ishegoi
ngt
oli
vewi
thus?
”
“
No,
Idon'
tthi
nkso.
”
Qophelonodshi sheadandl ooksout sidethe
window.Busikhayadoesn'twantt obepushy, even
thoughhewoul d'
vepreferr
edifhi ssonaskedmor e
questi
onsandt oldhi
m wher ehishear tstandswit
h
Mazwakhe.He' stheonlycomf ortMazwakhecan
have,hecanbringhim hopeandmaybehe' dcome
backfrom Joburgandjointhef amil
ybusi nessas
MaMbonambiwi shes.Shehasaccept edhim asher
husband'sson,eventhoughhewasconcei ved
behindherback,sheknowshowmuchMadoda
l
ovedhi sfamil
yandshe' ddoanyt hi
ngt omakehim
proud.
“
Babaist hathim?”Qophel
osnapshim outofhi
s
t
houghts.He'spointi
ngatMazwakhestandi
ngin
f
rontofthest opsi
gnwithhi
sbag.Itl
ooksli
kehe's
l
eavi
ngal ready.
“Yesit'
shim.Letmestopthecarandyou'llgot
ell
himt hatGogoisaski
nghimt ocomehome, ”
Busikhayasaysandlooksforther
ightspottot
urn
thecar.
Whent
hecarst
opsQophel
ocl
imbsoutandmakes
hi
swaytoMazwakhe.
“
Goodmor
ningMal
ume,
”hesayspol
it
ely.
Mazwakheistongue-
tied.Hecannottakehi
seyes
offhi
sson.Thishumanbel ongstohim.Hemade
thi
sperf
ectyoungboy.Inhi m heseesNombuso,
themosthumbleGod'scr eat
ionthatmadehi
sheart
j
umpever yt
imehiseyeslandedon.
“Gogoaskedust
ofet
chyou,
meandBaba,
”
Qophel
o.
Hewasnotplanni
ngt
ogototheMthembus,he
cametoseet
heNgwanestoremi
ndthem whohei
s,
buthowcanbesaynotohi
sownson?Hecameall
thewaytothetaxist
opl
ooki
ngforhi
m.Godknows
howtheyfoundouthewasinthevi
ll
age!
“
CanIhel
pwit
hthat?
”Qophel
olooki
ngatthebag
wei
ghi
ngdownhisnewuncl
e'
sshoulder
.
“No,thankyou.
”He'sst
il
lst
ari
ngatQophelo,
his
newwor ld.Whenhetur
nsaroundandtakesthe
fi
rststeptowar
dsthecarMazwakhest
opshim.
“
Howar
eyou?
”heasks.
“
I’
m good,
”Qophel
osayswi
thaf
rown.
“I'
m happytomeetyou…. ”Henear lysai
d‘son'
and
stoppedhimself.Thetimingisnotr ight
,hedoesn'
t
wanthimt ofeelwhathe'sf eel
ing.Findi
ngoutthat
you'vebeenli
vingal i
eandadj ustingyourmindto
thenewr eal
it
yist heheaviestt
hingahear tcoul
d
carry.
“Act
uall
y,wehavemetbef
ore,
”Qophel
osaysand
chuckl
es.
“
Iknow.I
’mjusthappytomeetyouagai
nandt
hat
t
odayyoutal
kedtome,”Mazwakhesays.
“
Wel
l,
Babaaskedmet
o.”Hewal
kson,
Mazwakhe
fol
lowsbehi
nd.Whentheygetnear
erthedr
iver
's
dooropensandBusi
khayastepsout
.
“
Geti
nthecar
,”het
ell
sQophel
o.
Qophel
odoesashi
sfathersays.Busi
khayaand
Mazwakhest
andout
sidethecar,star
ingateach
ot
her.
“
Younevergotbackt
ome,
”Busi
khayagoesf
ir
st.
“Whatdi
dyouwantmet osay?Sorr
ydoesn'
t
changeanyt
hing,
”Mazwakhesays.
“
Whatdoyouwantt
ochange?
”Busi
khaya.
Thequest ionleavesMazwakhecagedi nt houghts.
Woul dhewantt hingst
obedi ff
erentfr
om howt hey
are?He' ssti
llangryateveryonewhohaswr onged
him, buthishear thasf
oundsomecomf ort.Very
strange,hecan' tevenpoi
ntoutwher e'
st his
comf ortzonei scomingfrom.
“I
'
m overNombuso,Idon'
twi
shanyt
hingwas
di
ffer
entexceptmysur
name,
”hesays.
“Pi
ty,
youareaMthembuandyou'
renotr
eal
ly
dif
fer
entf
rom me.
”
“Don'
tcompar emet oyouandyourt wobr ai
ncell
s,
”
Mazwakhegr umbles.Therearenosimilari
ti
es
betweenhim andBusikhaya.He'sst
il
ltryi
ngto
fi
gureouthowt heyevenbecamebr others.He
wantedthewor l
dtobeabet terpl
ace,hewant edt
o
kil
lhi
m, butDNAhappened.
“
Twobr
aincel
lsar
eyourgr
eenbal
ls,
”Busi
khaya.
Inthebli
nkofaneyeMazwakhe'sbagisonthe
ground,t
hey'
reholdi
ngeachot
herbythroat
sand
exchangi
nginsul
ts.
“
Babaaa!
”Qophel
o'svoi
cepier
cestheirearsand
t
heyimmedi
atel
ystopandlookhi
sdi r
ection.
There'
sanot
hercarpul
li
ngup.Ngcwet
hij
umpsout
ofitandr
ushestothem wi
thapi
ssedl
ookonhi
s
face.
“Infr
ontofachi l
d?Real lyguys?”Heglar
esatboth
ofthem.Qophel oiswat chi
nginsidethecar
fearf
ull
y.Hisfathersaidthey'r
efamilywit
hthis
uncle,whyaretheyf i
ghting?Heal wayst
ell
shim
thatfamil
yfighttheenemy, notoneanother.
“
It
'st
heNgwaneBat
ist
a.”Busi
khayashr
ugshi
s
shoul
der
s.Her
ecei
vesamur
der
ousst
aref
rom
Mazwakhe.
“I
'
m notaNgwane, nei
theram IBat
ist
a.Mynamei s
MazwakheMt hembu.”Sayi
ngitisnothardashe
t
hought.Hemayhat ethesurnamebutit'
swhoheis.
HeisaMt hembu,notaNgwane.
“OkaybaThembu, canwegohomeandset tlet
his
asadul t
s?You'rebot hparents,pl
easeactl ikeitand
stopbeingWWEwr estl
ersont hestreets.”Ngcwet hi
goestoBusi khaya'scar,opensQophel o'sdoorand
pull
shi m out
.Hedoesn' twanthi mt owi t
nessany
mor eargumentorf ight,
iftheywantt okilleach
othertheymustdoi toutofthechild'
spr esence.
.
.
Zanamuhl
a

Ihaveneverseenhi
m soscared.He'
sbeenpacing
upanddownsi nceIgothere,
Ievenhavea
thr
obbi
ngheadachef r
om it
.Butwhatdidhet
hink?
Leavi
ngMazwakheandBusi
khayai
nonecar
!
“Pl
easetryMazwakheonel astt
ime,
”MaMbonambi
saystome.Shedoesn'tunderst
andthiswhol
e
voi
cemailthi
ng,i
tmeanst hephonei
sswi t
chedof
f,
nomat t
erhowmanyt i
mesIt ryi
twon'tgothr
ough
unti
ltheownerswit
chesiton.
“
It
'sst
il
lof
fMa,
”Isay.
“Wherearethesechil
dren!
”Herhandsstart
trembl
ing,
shei ssweati
ngandbreathi
ngheavily.
Mnothoisinfrontofherinal
ight
ingvelocit
y.He
fansherwit
hacl othandaskshertobreatheinand
out.

There'sacarpull
ingupoutsi
de.Ever
yonemar
ches
towardsthedoorexceptMnothowhohasbecome
MaMbonambi ’snurse.Thi
sboywoulddoanyt
hing
forhismother.
It
'sBusikhaya'
swhit
eFortuner.Theybot
hcli
mbout
shir
tlessandmaketheirwaytowardsthehouse.I
don'tknowwhoi scur
singbetweenMndeniand
Ngcwet hibehi
ndme.
Mazwakhef i
nall
ymeet smyeyes.Hehasa
bl
eedingscr at
chonhi sneck, Ij
ustknowhe'sbeen
fi
ghti
ng.They'retoooldf ort
his.WhatisQophelo
goingtolearnfrom al
lthis?Iunderst
andthatther
e
areunresolvedissuesfrom thepastandtheycan'
t
j
ustgetalongwi thinaday.Butt oactl
ikecat
s!I'
m
di
sappointedinbot hofthem.
“
Hlahl
aIdi
dn'
tknowyouwer
eher
e,”hesays.
“Idi
dn'
tknowyouwereher eei
ther.
”It'
sstr
angethat
Ihadtofi
ndoutfr
om otherpeoplethatmyown
brot
herwasint
hevill
age.Wet al
kedaf ewdaysago,
hecould'
vement
ionedit.
Helooksdisappoi
ntedaswell,
butheisnottheone
toapol
ogize.Busi
khayaleadsthewayinsi
dethe
houseandweal lf
ollow.

MaMbonambisi tsupst
rai
ghtandgi
vesBusikhaya
anicystar
e.Ifeelmyownhandssweat
ing,only
motherscansendyoutoICUwithj
ustalook.Ifeel
sor
ryforBusikhaya.
“
Isai
dgof
etchyourf
ather
'sson,
andwhatdi
dyou
do?”sheaskshi
m.Idi
dn'tknowshecoul
dbet
his
angry,
she'
salwaysahumblewoman.
“If
etchedhi
m,”Busi
khayar
espondswi
thhi
shead
bowed.
“You'r
etheel
destbutyourbr
aini
sthesi
zeofa
chicken.
”
Mazwakhelooksathim withhi
sli
pcurvedupi nt
o
whatcoul
dbeagr i
n.Theybot hsharealook,
Busi
khayadoesn'
tlookpleasedwithMazwakhe.
Thi
sisgoingtobeonehel lofabrot
her
hood.
“
You'
refi
nall
yhome.
”Shet
urnsherf
acet
o
Mazwakhe.
Asexpect
ed,
hedoesn'
tsayanyt
hing,
hej
ustst
ares
ather
.
“
Wher
edi
dyousl
eepl
astni
ght
?”sheasks.
“
Idi
dn'
tsl
eep,
”Mazwakhesays.
“Youcould'
vecomehome.Thi sisyourhomeand
yourfat
herwasaf amil
yman, hewould'
vewanted
youtojoi
nthef ami
lyandgrowhisbusiness
toget
herwithyourbrot
her
s.”
“
Ihavemyownbusinesst
ogrow,
butt
hankyouf
or
t
hewarm wel
come,
”hesays.
“Younevergotbackt
omeaboutourl
astphone
conver
sati
on,”MaMbonambi
.
“Idon'
thaveaprobl
em doingther
it
ualsand
apologi
zingt
otheel
ders,Iwil
ldoi
t.”
“Weboughtthegoat
,they'
lldel
iveri
tlat
er,
”
Busi
khayajumpsint
ot heconversat
ion.
Theyboughtthegoattogether
?Weareallsur
pri
sed.
Theydidn'
tlookl
ikepeoplewhodi
danything
mindf
ulexceptfi
ghti
nglikemouseandcat.

Indeedawhitegoatisdel
iver
edbyawhi t
evanin
theaft
ernoon.I
t'
soneoftheJamavehi cl
essoI
guesstheyboughtitfr
om thefami
lyr
anchfar
m.
Theunclesandot
herrel
ati
vesarr
ive,i
twasa
cl
eansingcer
emonybutithastur
nedi nt
othe
cel
ebrati
onofanewfamilymember .
Am Inotfeel
ingl
eftout
?Ngcwethii
snowheretobe
found,
everyonei
sgatheredi
ntheancest
ors'
rondavelandI
'm notal
lowedtoent
erther
eyet.I
'
m
stuckintheki
tchenwit
hpilesofdi
shestowashand
pack.
WhenisBusikhayaandMndenibri
ngi
nggirl
fr
iends?
Thi
sisahugef amil
y,Sangoi
stooyoungtohelp
wit
hanythi
ngandMaMbonambii stoooldtohelpa
makot
i.
“
Doyouneedhel
p?”t
hevoi
cecomesf
rom t
hedoor
.
Il
if
tmyeyesupt oMnot
hoandi
mmedi
atel
yrel
ease
asighofr
eli
ef.
“
Idon'
tknowhowt
owr
apt
hesekni
ves,
”Isay.
Hewalksinandtakesoutacl
eandi
shclot
h.I
nstead
ofwr
appingthekniveshehel
psmewiththedi
shes.
“It
hinkyouallneedt
obr
inggi
rl
fr
iends,
I'
m bor
ed
herealone,
”Isay.
“
Countmeout.
”Hechuckl
esandconti
nueswipi
ng
t
heplat
eswi
thoutl
ooki
ngatme.I
’m ser
iousAF.
“You'
renott
hatyoung,
someofyouragemat
esar
e
alr
eadymarri
ed,
”Isay.
“
I'
m mar
ri
edt
oo.
”
Tr
evorNoahwanna-
be!
“
You'
ref
unny,
”Isay.
“
I’
m mar
ri
edt
oaghost
.”
Il
augh.Hedoesn't.If
rown.Heshr ugshi s
shoul
dersandstartspackingcleanplatesinsi
dethe
cupboar
d.Ift
hisishisstrategytoscareme, it
's
worki
ngexcel
lentl
y.
“Whatghost
?”It
rynott
osoundfr
ightenedasIam.
Ihear
dsomewei r
dghostst
ori
esgrowingup.
“I
t'
scompli
cated.Haveyoustart
edpr epar
ingfor
exams?Don'tl
etmybr ot
herdist
ractyou,bat
hroom
sessi
onscanwai t
.”
HowtoshutZanamuhl aup?Well,bri
ngupt he
bat
hroom sessi
onthing.Iwoul
d'velovedtohear
moreabouttheghostwifebuthehaspi nnedonthe
l
astnail
.Ikeepshutandhelphim packtheplat
es.
[
11/
19,
09:
51] :Chapt
erTwent
ySi
x
Zanamuhl
a
Iwoul dn'
tgetcar r i
edawayandsayt hingsar eokay.
Yest heritualswer edone, Mazwakhehas
apologizedandt heyal latebreakf asttoget herasa
family.Theuncl esar epl anningadat etosend
i
hlawul otot heNgwanesast heyr equested.But
Mazwakhei smybr other,Iknowhi smoodswi ngs
andinaf ewmont hsthatI'veknownt heMt hembus,
Ihaveseent hatBusi khayai sn'tmuchdi fferent.I
j
ustwonderhowl ongt heycanst aywi thout
str
angl i
ngeachot her,thelackofconver sat i
on
betweent het wooft hem isalsowor ryi
ng.Theonl y
personIseeget tingal ongwi thMazwakhei s
Mndeni .Mnot hoi sal itt
lebitreserved,whi chcomes
asnosur prise,Imeanhei saghost ’
shusband.
BeforeIf orget ,
letmef i
shsomei nfoont hatmat ter
,
hopef ul
lyIwon' tcomeacr ossasaMamgobhozi
gir
lfr
iend.
“
Sthandwasami
,
”Isay.
I'
m nothappywit
ht hateyebrowt
hinghe'
sdoi
ng.
I’
mt r
yingtoweartheconcernedsi
ster
-i
n-l
awl
ook
andbur yi
ngt
hecur i
ousciti
zenone.
“
Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
?”Gosh,
lookat
mesel
li
ngmysel
fout.Heal
waysl
ookl
iket
his,
his
f
rowni
shal
fpermanent.
“
I'
m wai
ti
ngt
ohearwhatyouwantt
oask,
”hesays.
“Ifthat
'showyouwai tt
oheart hi
ngs,withyour
foreheadf ur
rowedandeyebr owscur ved,thenyou
havet oleaveit
,”Isay.Heironshisfaceandgi ves
meago- aheadwi t
hasl i
ghtshrug.Wel l
,nowi t
's
mor eawkwar dbutcur i
osit
yalwayswi ns.
“I
sMnot homar ri
ed?
”Iapproachedthi
sonevery
cauti
ously.I
fitwasanyotherdayIwould'
veasked
him di
rectl
ywherehisghostsi
ster
-i
n-l
awlives.
“
Didhet
ellyout
hat
?”
“
Yes,
”Isay.
“No,
heisnotmar r
ied.
”Icannotmisstheir
ri
tat
ion
i
nhisvoice.Hisj
awstight
enandhet urnshi
sback
onmelikehe'shi
dinghispi
ssedfacefrom me.
“
Buthesai
dhe'
smar
ri
ed,
”Iper
sist
.
“
Int
hatcase,
Iwasnoti
nvi
tedi
nhi
sweddi
ng.
”
“
Nosur
pri
set
her
e,hesai
dhei
smar
ri
edt
oaghost
.”
Hetur
nsar oundswift
ly,
he'
sbot
hpissedand
di
sbel
ievi
ng.Thiskeepsget
ti
ngint
erest
ing.
“
Het
oldyout
hat
???
”heasks.
“
Wasn'
thesupposedt
o?”
“Fuckno!Hei
scrazy,
that
'swhyhehadt
ofucki
n’
gooverseast
ogetbackhi
ssenses.
”
I
'
mt hrownawaybyhi stone.I
sheallowedt
otalk
l
ikethi
s?Allt
hesefuckswiththesamemouththat
t
alkstotheancest
ors?!
“It
hinkyoushoul
dgooutandgetsomef
reshai
r,
”I
say.
“I
fIgooutofthisroom theonlythi
ngI'
m goingto
doisst
ranglethati
diot.
”Heclickshist
ongueand
sit
sonbed.NowIr egr
etbri
ngingthi
sup, i
tseems
l
ikeoneofthosefami l
yuntouchedsubject
s.
Hesqueezeshi
sbracel
etandmumbl essomethi
ngI
can'
tmakesenseofandthenheavesasigh.He
wasreset
ti
nghisemoti
onsanditworked.
“I
'
m sorr
y.I
t'
sjustt
hatweal
lwor
ryabouthi
m.”Now
hesoundsworri
ed.
“
Whatr
eal
lyhappened?
”Iask.
“
Shedied,
theywerenotevendati
ng,j
ustchi
ldhood
f
ri
endswhopromisedeachotherfor
ever
.”
“
That
'swei
rd.Di
dn'
theat
tendherf
uner
al?
”Iask.
“No,shedr
ownedintheriver.Wetried,ever
yonedi
d,
butwecouldn'
tfi
ndher.Herf amil
ybur i
edher
clot
hesaft
er2yearsofsearchingwi t
hnosuccess.
”
“
Howsur eareyouthatshedr
owned?Whati
fhei
s
r
ight
,sheisali
ve?
”
“
Zano,
it'
sbeenyear
s.”
“
Sowhat
?”
“Mnothohaddreams, hewasadiff
erentone,t
he
onewhowant edtoreachdif
fer
entheights.Weal
l
hadourtr
ustonhim, evenNdaba.Butlookwhere
heisnow,st
il
linthevill
ageandholdi
ngont oa
ghost
.”
Myheartbr
eaksf
orhi
m.Idi
dn’
tknowi
twast
his
deep.
“Di
dyouhel
phi
m healoryout
oldhi
mtoheal
?”I
ask.
“Zanamuhlait
'sbeentool
ong.He'snotachi
ld
anymore,heknowswhatdeathis.EvenQophel
o
hasacceptedthathi
smotherdi
ed.”
DearLor
d!Isthiswhattheyt
ellhi
m?Howdoyou
comparepeople'
sheali
ngprocess!
Mnothohasanatti
tude,hetookaf t
erBusi
khaya,but
he'
sverysof
tinsi
de.Ihaveseenhowhet reats
MaMbonambi,heisoverprotect
ive.Evenwithme,
he'
salwayst
heretomakesur et
hatIdon’toverwor
k
myself
.
Suchpeoplenevergetwhattheygi
veinr
eturn.
Protect
ivepeopl
edon'tal
waysanyonepr
otecti
ng
them.
Helet
soutasi gh.“Anyway,
don'tbotheryoursel
f
wit
hthisnonsense.Youhavetowor r
yabout
umemuloandi zi
bizothatwi
llt
akeplaceont he
sameday.”
“
Sameday?
??”I
'
m beyondshocked.
“Thi
shomeneedsyouZanamuhl
a.Ialsoneedyou
nextt
ome,Iwantyoutobemywifeandenjoyever
y
momentwit
hyou,”hesays.
“
Butwedoever
ythi
ngt
hatmar
ri
edcoupl
edo,
”Isay.
“
It
'snotenough.Iwantt
odoever
ythi
ngknowi
ng
t
hatyouaremineandhave…….
”
“
Havewhat
?”Icuthi
m shor
twi
thmyeyesnar
rowed.
“Chil
dren,
”hesayswit
hasmirkonhisface.Iki
nd
ofknewhewasgoi ngtosayt
his,
it'
sli
keI'
mi nhis
thoughts.
“
Youknowt
her
easonI
'
m st
udyi
ng,
right
?”Iask.
“Zanamuhlayoudon'
tneedtowor k.I
'
m her
eforyou,
Iwillpr
ovi
deforyouwit
heveryt
hingyouneed,
”he
says.
“Youwillr
ebui
ldmymot
her
'shouseandst
oneher
grave?
”
“
YesIcandot
hat
.”
Suchani
diot
!Hewassupposedt
osayno.
“
Doest
hatmakesenset
oyou?
”Iask.
“
Yes.
”
I
'
m donewi
tht
hisconver
sat
ionandI
’
m outofher
e.
“
Zano,
whatdi
dIdonow?
”
Hiselder
swillt
ellhi
m.Iopent hedoorandleave.
Imagineyourhusbandbuildi
ngyourmot her
'shouse!
Hewant smet obelabel
ledasagol d-di
gger
.I
fur
theredmyst udi
essothatIcanst andonmyown,
hel
pmybr ot
herbuil
dhislegacyandnotdependon
anyone.

I
cyst
are!Whatdi
dIdot
othi
sone?
“
Brot
her
,”Isay.
Heisst
andingbythedoorofNdaba’
srondavel
.
“Ar
en'
tyourexamsstar
ti
ngnextweek?”
Oh,he'snothappyaboutmebei
ngher
einst
eadof
col
lege.
“
I'
mleavi
ngt
hisaf
ter
noon,
”Isay.
“Don'tbestupidHlahl
a,”hekeepshisvoicel
ow.I
standnearerhim andli
sten.“Iknowthatyoulove
him andhel ovesyoutoo,butpleasedonotforget
wherewecomef r
om andwhatourdr eamswer e.”
“
Don'
twor
ry,
not
hinghaschanged,
”Isay.
Henodshisheadandsi gnalsformetogoon.I
don'
tknowifitwi l
lbeeasybutI ’
m goi
ngt ofightfor
myindependency.Ngcwet hicanprovideallhe
wantsbutIsti
llwanttowor k,tobuymyowncar
andbuil
dmymot herabeauti
fulhouse,event hough
she'
dneverseei torli
veinit.

MndeniandMnot hoarewor kinginthekit

chenas
usual.IhaveneverseenBusi khayaorNgcwet hi
doinganythi
ng.Whyi sMaMbonambial lowingthi
s
tohappen?Theymaybet heeldestbuttheydidn'
t
hireanymaid.Wor kshouldbespl i
tequall
yamong
them.They'real
lunmar r
iedsonsher e.
“Thanksforcoming,
”Mndeni.Hedri
eshishands
withaclothandspeedsoutofthedoorbef
oreI
couldsayanythi
ng.
“
Whati
srunni
ngawayf
rom?
”IaskMnot
ho.
“
Bur
ntdi
rt
ypot
s,”hesays.
Ir
ollmyeyesandj
oinhi
m ont
hesi
nk.
“
Whocookedl
iket
his?
”Iask.
“
Yourhusbandandher
efusedt
oscr
aphi
smess.
”
Wel
l,
Iguessit
'smyjobtoremoveit
.Iwonderwhat
hewasthi
nki
ng,cooki
ngpaporwhatevert
hiswas,
onaful
lheat
?Ineedtoboi
lwater.
“
Howi
syourwi
fe?
”Iask.
“
Mywi
fe?
??”
“
Yest
erdayyout
oldmet
hatyou'
remar
ri
ed.
”
Helet
soutabri
efchuckl
e.“
Oht hat
!Idon'
tknow,
I
hopeshe'
ssaf
ewheresheis.”
“
Isshenotdead?
”Iask.
“Peoplebeli
evethatshedrownedinther
iverand
died.Butthat
'snottr
ue,IknowthatKhwezii
sali
ve.
”
“
Howdoyouknow?
”Iask.
Hedri
eshishands,t
akesof
fthenecklaceand
showsmear i
ngcli
ppedonit.I
tlooksli
keaplast
ic
ri
ngfr
om sheber
t.
“
Ist
hisar
ealr
ing?
”Iask.
“I
t'
snotadi amondr
ing.I
t'
snotmadeofsi
lveror
gold.Buti
t'
sarealr
ingtome.Shegavemethis
whenwewere12andIgavehermywat
ch.I
fshe
di
edIwoul
d'veknown.
”
“
HowMnot
ho?
’Iask.
“Byadream orsomethi
ng.Shewould'
veletme
knowbynow.Iknowshewoul dhave.”Hesounds
convi
ncing,
ascrazyasitmaysound,Ibeli
evehi
m.
“
Howl
onghasi
tbeen?
”Iask.
“
10year
s,7mont
hsand19days.
”
“I
'
mr eall
ysorr
y.”Iwrapmyar msar oundhisneck.
Atfi
rsthehesi
tates,
Itellhi
mi t
'sokay,t
henherests
hi
sheadovermyshoul dersandhugsmeback.
“
Youwi
llf
indherMnot
ho,
don'
tgi
veup.
”
“
Thankyou,”hisvoi
ceisbreaki
ng.Ibrushhisback
i
ncomf or
t,i
nsteadofrel
axi
nghisbodyt ensesup,I
f
eelhischestvi
brat
ing.Myword!Thisboyi sgoi
ng
t
hroughalot.
“
You'
real
lowedt
ocr
y,Iknowi
thur
ts,
”Isay.
Hestar
tscryi
ngshamel essl
y.Ibr
ushhi
sbackand
al
lowhimto.Iknowf r
om myownexperiencet
hat
havi
ngabrotherdoesn'
talwaysmeanyouhave
someonet ol
ayyourheartoutto.Mazwakheisa
goodbrother
,I'
dgivehim hi
sawar d,
buthedoesn'
t
knowhowt olist
entomyper sonalprobl
ems.He'
d
rat
hersol
veever yt
hingt
hantoallowmet owhine
andcry.
There'ssomeonecomi ngin.It
'sBusikhaya,he
almostfall
sashemakest heU-turnandr ushesout
todisappearasquickaspossible.I'
dbel yi
ngifI
saidIunderst
andanyoft hem.Tel lme,whyi she
runningawayi nst
eadofaskingwhyhi slitt
le
brotheri
scrying?!
.
.
Itf
eelsgoodhavingMazwakhearoundt
hetable.I
havenoteatenlunchwi
thhiminalongti
me.The
onlypersonwhoisnother
eisMaMbonambi .That
womani salwaysbusywit
hendlessDur
bant r
ips.
“AsIwassayi
ng, af
terNgcwet
hi'
sweddi
ngI
'
m al
so
sendi
nglobol
a,”Mndeni.
“
Towho?
”Iask.
“Youwil
lmeetherwhent het
imeisri
ght.
”He'
s
beamingwi
thjoy,howevernobodyseemstoshar
e
thesameexci
tement.
“
Don'
tbotherMaNgwane,byt
hetimewhenthetime
i
sri
ghtt
heywould'
vebrokenup,
”Busi
khayasays.
Mndenidigsi
nhispl at
eandshoot salookathi m.I
alsodon'
tseeMndenihavi ngawor ki
ngrel
ationshi
p
anyti
mesoon,he'stooplayboyishandgenerall
ynot
seri
ousaboutanythi
nginlife.
“Ican'
twai
tfort
hatday.Bei
ngher
eal
onei
sbor
ing,
”
Isay.
“
Alone?Whatdoyoumean?
”Ngcwet
hi.
“
Sangoi
stooyoung,
MaMbonambii
shar
dlyhome.
”
“
Butwear
eal
waysher
e,”Busi
khayasays.
HowdoItellhi
mthatthey'
rebori
ngwi t
hout
soundi
ngl
ikeadisr
espectf
ulgir
lf
riend?
“
Ican'
trel
atet
oanyofyou,
”Isay.
“
Areyout
ryi
ngt
osaywear
ebor
ing?
”Mndeni
.
“
No,
that
'
snotwhatI
'
m sayi
ng.Iwoul
dn'
tsaysuch
t
omybr
other
-i
n-l
aws,
”Isay.
Theyl aughandst artt
heirboringsoccer
conver sat
ion.Mazwakhesaysaf ewwor dshere
andt here.Heisnotcompl eteintothisMt hembu
thi
ngyetbuthe’ sgett
ingthere.Busikhayaandhim
don'tinteractt
hatmuchbutt her ehaven'tbeenany
morecat f
ightandthat'
ssomei mprovement .
Mnot hoisawkwar dlyquiet.Iwishtheycouldgi
ve
himt hebenef i
tofadoubtandhel phimlookforher
.
Busikhayahasconnect i
onsever ywhere,
Ngcwethi
canconst ructaroadinaspaceof3mont hs,
Mazwakhecanki l
lanyonest andingonhiswayand
Mndenicanl i
ghtenanysi t
uat i
onwi t
hhis
personali
ty.
Iftheycanallj
oinheadsthey'
dbeabl
etohelpt
hei
r
l
ittl
ebr ot
her
.Theycanturnthewhol
ecountr
y
upsidedown.Theonl yt
hingMnothoneedsi
s
closure,t
heycangivehimthat.
There'
sahandlift
ingmydr essandbr ushi
ngmy
thi
ghunderthetable.If
indhim star
ingatme.He
cannotdothi
sinfrontofmybr other!
“
You'
releavi
ngt
oday,
”hekeepshi
svoi
cel
ow,
I'
m
t
heonlyonewhocanhearhi
m.
“
Stopwhatyou' r
edoing.
”Idownahugesipofmy
j
uicetocalm downmypumpi ngchest
.Idon'
tli
ke
t
hef i
nger
-drawingt
hinghe'
sdoingonmyt hi
gh.
“Goputonthatswimmi ngcost
umet hingIsawin
yourbag.I
'm goi
ngtocomeshor t
lyafteryou,
”he
whisper
sandj oi
ntheloudconver
sationwithout
rai
singanysuspici
ons.
Ihaveaswimmingcostumet
hingi
nmybag?
Wondersshal
lneverend.
There'
sasof
tpinchonmythi
gh.Ilookathi
m,he
narr
owshiseye.What
'swr
ongwithhim?!
“
Ihavet
ogopack,
”Iannounce.
Everyonelooksatme, i
ncludingMazwakhewi t
hhis
scaryeyes.Ihopehedidn' tseeNgcwethibrushing
myt highs.Hecanbeshar p-eyed.Hi
mj oi
ningthe
familywon'tbeanadvant ageousthi
ngonmy
rel
ationshipsi
de.Imagi
newhat '
sgoingtohappen
whenNgcwet hihast
or andoml yki
ssme!
“
Tel
luswhenyou'
rel
eavi
ng,
”Busi
khayasays.
Well,i
t’
snotl
ikeI'
l
leverl
eavewit
hout
……Oh,Ihave
doneitbef
ore.Thelastt
imeIwasher
eIl
eftwithout
tel
li
nganybody.

Iempt ymybagl ookingf oraswimmi ngcostume

thi
ng.Icannotfindit,Ionlybroughtmydr esses,
pantiesandbras,toi
letri
esandt hatl
inger
ie
Vuyiswamademebuy.Whatcoul dbeaswi mming
costumeamongt heset hings?
“
Myl
ove,
”
Gr
eat
,hei
sher
e!
“
Idon'
thaveany……….
.”
Heli
ft
situpwi
thexci
tementspl
ashedal
loverhi
s
f
ace.
“Thi
sisalinger
ieNgcwet
hiandi
t'
snotworndur
ing
theday.It
houghtyousai
dyouknowever
ythi
ng,
”I
say.
“
Wher
eist
hatwr
it
ten?
”heasks.
“I
t'
slogi
cNgcwethiandI
'
llonl
ywearthistheday
youstar
tsuppor
ti
ngyourbrot
her
,”Isay.
Hef
rowns.“
Whi
chbr
other
?”
“Mnotho,
stopt
hinki
nghe'
scrazy,
youal
sohaveno
prooft
hatKhwezidi
ed,
”Isay.
Hethrowstheli
ngeri
ebacki
nsidethebagand
yawns.Thi
stheexactbadener
gyt heygi
veMnotho
andhedoesn'tneedi
t.Whycan'thebeposi
ti
ve?
!
“Uyakwazi
ukuwisaindukukodwaZanamuhl
a!(You
canturnapersonof
fZanamuhla)Whatdi
dhedr i
ll
i
ntoyourhead?Thateveryonei
scr
azyandhe's
not?”
“Hecoul
dbewrongandhecouldberight
.What
evi
dencedoyouhavet
hatshedied?
”Iask.
“Ther
e'snoevi
denceofherbei
ngal
ive.Zanamuhla
stopthi
s.Wewanthimtomoveon,don'tgivehi
m
deadhope.”
“Can'
tyouaskt
heel
der
sorsensesomet
hing?
”I
ask.
“
Ihat
eitwhenpeopl
etr
eatmel
iket
hat
.Don'
tmock
mygi
ft
.”Hewal
ksoutandsl
amst
hedoor
.
Whendi
dImockhisgi
ft
?Itl
ooksl
ikeIj
ustmessed
mygoodbyef
uck.
.
.
I'
m bei
ngaccompani edbyf i
veguystothe
resi
dence.Idon'tknowwhocameupwi ththeidea,
MndeniandBusi khayaar eenjoyi
ngbeersatthe
backseat.Mnothoisdr i
vingwithMazwakhesitting
withhim att
hef r
ont.Thent here'
saweir
dcoupl e,
holdi
nghandsbutnott al
kingtoeachother
.
“
NgcwethiIdi
dn'tmockyou,
ift
hat
'showyouf
elt
t
henI
'm sorr
y,”Isay.
“
I'
m overt
hat
,”hesays.
“
Thenwhat
'st
hemat
ter
?”
“
I'
mjustt
hinki
ngaboutever
ythi
ngyousai
d.”
That
'soneposi
ti
vest
ep.Atl
easthe'
sdi
gest
ingoni
t.
“
Idon'
tknowwhatt
odo,
”hesays.
Isqueezehi
shand.Hel
ooksatme,
sadnessi
s
wri
tt
enalloverhi
sface.Ipeckhi
sli
psandbr
ush
hi
scheekincomfort.
Someoneclearshi
sthr
oat
.Mazwakhe!Whatan
exhaust
ingbrot
hert
ohavear
ound.
IsendVuyiswaaqui
cktextlett
ingherknowthatwe
areonourway.Shehasthistendencyofweari
ng
onlyunder
wearsdur
ingtheday.Att hi
spoi
ntshe
cannotaff
ordtol
ookli
kethatinfrontofMazwakhe.
.
.
Bei
ngbackhereisnotexci
ti
ngasitusedt
obe.
Ngcwet
hihel
psmeoutoft hecar
,Mndenicar
ri
es
mybagandeveryonecli
mbsoutexceptMazwakhe.
“
Bafoyoudon'
twantt
oseewher
eshel
ives?
”
Mndeni
.
“Hehasasituat
ioni
nsi
de,
”Isayandr
ecei
vea
pier
cingst
arefr
om hi
m.
“
Whatsi
tuat
ion?
”Busi
khayaaskscur
iousl
y.
“
Ther
e'snosi
tuat
ion,
”Mazwakhesaysabr
upt
ly.
“
Hedoesn'twantVuyi
swat
oseehim,
”Ngcwethi
j
umpsin.Thatear
nsmeanotheri
cyl
ookf
rom
Mazwakhe.
“
Nil
alanangegamal
ami
?”(
Youf
uckeachot
herover
myname)
Heneedst
ochi
ll
.It
'snott
hatdeep,
I'
m sur
eatsome
poi
ntheal
sodi
scussedmewithNandi.
Theyal
lbreaki
ntoafi
tofl
aught
er.Mndenibei
ng
thel
oudestoft
hem al
l.
“Don'
tlaught
ool
oud,
Jul
anii
sont
het
hir
dfl
oor
,”I
say.
Mazwakhelift
shi
seyestohim.Hej ustst
opped
l
aughingli
keheneverst
art
ed.I
'veneverseen
anyonecutt
ingal
aughsoquickly.
“Ar
eyouguyssurethatyou’r
etheMthembus?We
don'
thavechi
ckensinourclan.
”Busi
khayataki
ng
mybagf r
om Mndeniwhodoesn'tl
ookli
kesomeone
whoint
endstogoinsidethebui
ldi
nganymore.
“
Wear
etheMt
hembus,
Mr90days,
”Mndenisays.
Busi
khayacl
ickshi
stonguei
nir
ri
tat
ion.Idon'
t
knowwhatt
hatmeansbutitdoesn'tsi
twell
wit
hMr
B90daysMthembu.IguessNgcwet hiandMnot
ho
aret
heonl
yoneshavingthel
astlaugh.
MndeniandMazwakhest ayinthecarand
Busikhayaisdelayedatthesecurit
ydesk.Only
Mnot hoandNgcwet hicomewi thme.Ihavegained
respectfr
om otherstudents.Theyalwaysgreet
whent heyseeme.Idon' tli
kethatIhadtodatea
moni edguytoearnrespectbutIstil
lenjoyi
t.

Andt
hen?Vuyi
swaandt
hewr
ongl
ywr
appeddoek!
“
What
'sup?
”Iask.
Shei
ssearchi
ngf
orsomeonewi
thhereyes.“
Wher
e
ar
eother
s?”
“
Wai
ti
ngf
oryouout
side,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
Inudgehi m wit
hanel bow,helooksatmeandgri
ns.
Ithoughthewast hematureone.Nobodyiswai
ti
ng
forVuyiswa,ifanythi
ngthey'
reavoidi
ngher.
Herdoekisn'
tdoi
nganyj
usti
ce,she'
sst
il
lwear
inga
ski
nnytopandabumshort
,thi
ngsMazwakhe
woul
dn'
tappr
oveofi
ftheyhadanyr
elat
ionshi
p.
“Oh,great.Iactual
lyhaveafri
endwait
ingf
ormeat
theparkinglot.MaybeI'l
lseeMazwakheandsay
hell
o.”
Afri
end?That '
showsher ef
erstoherfuckbuddies.
Idon'tt
hinkmybrothercanstandseei
ngherwi th
anotherguy,t
hisi
ssuchacl evermove.Hei snot
heronlyopti
on,heneedstoreali
zehowl uckyheis.
“
Goodl
uck,
”It
ellher
.
Shewinksatme,Igi
vehermyt
humbandshe
di
sappearsoutt
hedoor
.
“
Andt
hen?
”Mnot
ho.
“
Whosesi
dear
eyouon?
”Ngcwet
hi.
Ther
ear
esi
des?Iwasnotawar
eoft
hat
.

(
Wedi
nser
tlat
er,
don'
tki
llme ‍♂ )
[
11/
19,
09:
52] :Chapt
erTwent
ySeven
“
Whoi sthat
? ”Mndeniasks,cur
iouslylookingatt
he
manholdingVuyiswa'shandast heywal kaway
f
rom t
hepar kedFor dFi
est
a,maki ngtheirway
t
owardsthebui l
ding.
Mazwakheremai
nssi
lentevent
houghhi
seyesar
e
gl
uedonthecoupl
easwell.
“Itl
ooksl ikeshehasal readyt akensomeoneel se.
Bet t
eryout hanme, ”Mndenisaysr eflecti
ngbackat
hisownmi serabl
elife.MaybeJul aniwi l
lfinal
lyget
themessage, he'
snotat tract edt omen, evenifhe
was, Julaniwoul dn’tbet het ypeofguyshegoes
after.Event houghhedoesn' tknowNandiver ywell,
theyj ustmetawhi lebacki nt hemal l
,buthe
believesthatwhat everconnect iontheyhavei s
strong.Shei sabitbroken, herboyf ri
enddumped
heraf terfi
ndi nganewj obi nJohannesbur g.
Mndenihast obuildthet rustt hatwasbr okenby
anot herfool i
shman.Tal kingabouthowshest ood
wi t
ht hatmant hr
ought hi ckandt hi
nal waysbr ing
hert otears.Heevenpr omi sedhermar ri
agebutas
soonashegotanot herjobandmovedt o
Johannesbur geverythingchanged.
Mndenihastot akethi
ngsslowlywit
hher,
even
thoughhe'
dliketointr
oducehertothef
amily,i
twi
ll
betoosoon.Thisisonerelati
onshi
phewant st
o
l
ast,Nandii
sdifferent
.
Theydi dn'
tmeett hebookish-way, bumpi nginto
eachot her,booksscat t
eri
ngandMndenihel ping
herpickthem upwi thhiseyesgl uedonherl ikea
magnet .No, i
twasanor maldayatPi ck'nPayqueue,
shewasi nfrontofhim andhercar dkeptdecl i
ning.
Mndenihadnot imet owait,heofferedtopayf or
herandt heyst art
edchat t
ingast heyexi tedthe
store.Theyexchangedcont actsbef orepar t
ingand
afterafewchat sonWhat sAppt heydeci dedt ot rya
rel
ationship.Sof arit
'sbeengoodandf un.They
haveal otincommondespi tetheirdif
ferent
backgrounds.

Vuyiswaandhermandi sappearinsi
dethebuil
ding.
TosayMazwakhei sboil
inginsidewouldbean
under st
atement
.Hi
swhol ef
acei sburni
ng,hi
sfi
sts
arei
t chi
ngt odi
smant
letheurbanfool’
sjaw.
“
Let
'sgoi
nsi
de,
”hesayst
oMndeni
.
Mndeni'
seyeswideni
ndisbel
ief
.HasMazwakhe
f
orgot
tenwhytheywerecampedi nsi
det
hecar
?
Howshortishi
smemor y?
“
Whaaat
?I'
m nott
aki
ngt
hatr
isk!
”hesays.
“Stopbei
ngachi
cken.Tel
lhimt
ofuckoffonceand
forall
.Howl
ongareyougoingt
ohidef
rom that
gay?”
“Lookwho' stalking!Whydi dn'
tyout ellVuyiswato
fuckoffbecauseyou' reMrBol d?”Mndeniasks
i
rrit
ated.They'rebot hint hecarbecauset hey'
re
hidi
ngf rom theirsuitors.Mazwakhei sinno
positi
ont ogivehi m stupidadvices.Asbi gashei s,
hecoul dn'
ttellthetinyVuyi swatof uckof f.I
t
doesn'tevenmakesense, hecould'
vej ustgaveher
whatshewant edandf uckedher .
“Mysit
uati
oni
sdi
ff
erent
,”Mazwakhedef
ends
himsel
f.
“Howisitdi
ffer
ent?I
sitbecauseyoursuit
orisa
womanandmi nei
sacheesyguy? ”Hesighsand
shakeshishead.“
Howdi dIbecomesounl ucky
vel
e? ”hethinksoutloud.Whydi dJulanichoose
him outofallpeople?Isitonlyhi
sasst hat
deservestobecr acked?Isitbecausehe'stoo
handsomeandsexy?Whydi dn'
thegoaf ter
Busikhaya,surel
yhewoul dn'
thavemadehi m wait
90daysl i
keNont obeko.
Mazwakheistemptedt
otel
lhi
mthathei
sunlucky
becauseheisaMthembubutt
henheremembers
heisalsoone.
“
Canwegoi
n?”heasksi
mpat
ient
ly.
Mndenisighsandgivesin.Theybothwal kinsi
de
thebuil
ding,
Mazwakhei staki
ngthewi l
deststri
des,
hewant stoknowwhat'sgoingoninside.Even
thoughtheafter
noonischil
lyhi
sforeheadhas
dri
zzlesofsweat.

Thedooriswidelyopened.Vuyiswaandherman
arestandi
nginthekitchen,
Vuyiswaispouring
dri
nksintheglasses.Mndeniwalkspastthem and
call
soutNgcwet hi
'sname.Mazwakhel eansbythe
doorandwatchest hecouplehandi
ngdr i
nksto
eachother
.Thisisastudent
sbuil
ding,
aret
hey
al
lowedtodragindif
ferentmen?Thisi
showthey
study?Al
coholandmen.
“
Bro,
canwehel
pyou?
”themanasks.
Vuyiswal
if
tshereyesup.Apangoff earstr
ikesher
facewhensheseeswhoi ti
s,butshequickl
ybur i
es
i
twi t
haweaksmi l
e.“HiMazwi,Idi
dn'tseeyou.”
Heonlyst ar
esatt hemanst andingnextt oherand
doesn'tsayanythingtoher.Hei soneoft hose
urbanmenwhoal waysdr essupf oroccasi on,dr
ive
cutecarsandhemustbecomi ngfrom ast abl
e
household,noconf usedi
dent i
ti
esandal lthatshit.
Butthatdoesn'tchangethef actthatMazwakhecan
knockouthi sf
oolishasswi t
haf ist.That'
st heonly
thi
nggoi ngthr
oughhi smind, smashi ngthi
sf ool
's
headandt eachinghim alessonhe' dneverf or
get.
Vuyiswaclear
sherthr
oatnervousl
y.Shedi
dn'
t
expecthimtobethi
sangry,sheonlywant
edhi
mto
bejealous.
“
Zamanil
et'
sgot
othel
ounge,
”shesays.
Mazwakhest
epsi
n,he'
sst
il
lst
ari
ngatt
hemanand
r
ubbi
nghi
sit
chi
nghandst
oget
her
.
“
Hewi
llwai
tabi
t,Ineedsomecl
ari
ty,
”hesays.
Vuyiswalif
tshereyebrowsinquesti
on.Shefor
got
theothersi
deofMazwakheZanamuhl aoncetol
d
herabout.Thi
smi ghtbeit
,he'
llhar
mt hepoorguy.
“HeismyguestMazwakhe, ”shesayssternl
y,
hopingthatitwil
lscareMazwakheoff.Buthe
doesn'tcare,hepushesherasideandstandsin
fr
ontoft hestupi
dZamaniwi thadeadli
estlookon
hisface.
“Youcal
ledmebro?I'
m yourbro?”That'
snotal
lhe
wantstopunchhimfor
,ther
eismor e,butt
his‘
bro’
thi
ngistheonl
ythi
ngthatcanjusti
fyhisanger
.Yes,
hehatesbei
ngcall
edbrowithpassion.
“
Zamanil
eave,
please.
”Vuyi
swaget
sbet
weent
hem.
There'
sast arebattl
e.Zamanidrophisst
ari
ng
weaponsandl eavesangr
il
y.Vuyiswarel
easesa
si
ghofr el
ief.Thescenenearl
ybecamea
Wrestl
emani a.
Ther
e'samomentofsi
lence.They'
rebot
hgl
ari
ngat
eachother
.Vuyiswaispissedbutshedoesn'
tknow
wheretostar
tvoici
ngitout.Thi
sguyblockedher
aft
ershebravel
yconfessedherfeel
ingstohi
m, and
nowhecomesoutofnowher eandfight
stheman
shetr
appedhim with.
Wel
l,
Mazwakhei
sal
soangr
yather
.
“Thi
sist
helif
eyouli
ve?”Hebreakst
hesi
lence,
penet
rat
ingherwi
thhiseyes.
“Whichli
fe?”Vuyi
swaasks,
ignor
ingt
hechill
y
feeli
nginherstomach.Hei
sthemostchal
lengi
ng
personshe'
severcomeacrossandshecannot
affordt
obowdownherhead.
“Dr
essi
ngupli
kethis,
drinki
ngl
ikeaf
ishand
openi
ngyourl
egsforeveryman?”
“
Yes,
”shesays.
“
Whyar
eyoudoi
ngal
lthi
s?”
“
Remi
ndmeagai
n,howdoesmyl
if
econcer
nyou?
”
“
Wel
l,
itdoesn'
tconcer
nme,
”hesays.
“Exactl
y,noneofyourbusi
ness!Leavemealone,
bro.”Shegrabsathebottl
eandwal ksaway
swayi
ngherhi
ps.
"
Damnit
!”Mazwakhecur
sesandbangshi
sfi
ston
t
hetabl
e.
“HelpmeLor d!
”Busi
khayasayslooki
ngathim wi
th
disappr
ovalandwalkspastbef
orehecould
respond.

Mazwakhet akesamomentt opul

lhi
msel
ftogether
thenfoll
owst heloungedi
rect
ionwher
eeveryoneis
gathered,exceptVuyi
swawhohasshutherself
i
nsideherr oom.
“
Isever
ythi
ngal
ri
ght
?”Zanamuhl
aasks.
Heignoresherandst andsbehindthecouch, t
here'
s
nospacet osit
,theyhaveallcr
owdedont hesingl
e
couch.Helookshor nmad.Shewasn' tsupposedt o
walkawayf r
om him.Andshecal ledhim bro!He's
nocolouredthug.
Mndeni'
sphoneri
ngs,hesmilesatt
hename
f
lashi
ngonthescreenandstandsup.“
You'l
lfi
nd
meinthecar,
babyiscall
ing.
”Heanswersand
makeshi
swayout
.
Nobodybothersabouthisrel
ati
onshi
psanymor e,
healwaysgetthi
sexcit
edaboutallofthem and
theyneverl
astmorethanthreemonths.Heisthe
onewithcommi t
mentissues.
“
Whoi
sshe?
”Mnot
hoaskscur
iousl
y.
“We'l
lknowhersoon,
he'l
lbri
ngherj
usttobr
agand
tosettherecor
dst
rai
ghttosomesuit
ors,
”
Busikhaya.
Aft
erashor
tmomentMnot
hoal
sost
andsupt
o
l
eave.
“
Zanamuhla,Ihopewe'l
lseeyousoon.Goodl
uck
wit
hyourexams,”hesays.
Zanamuhl afol
lowshim outwit
hhereyes.Heis
hel
pless.Thosewhoar esupposedtostandbyhim
andhelphim don'tbel
ievehi
m.Theydon'twantto
hearanythinghehastosay.
“
Bont
lepl
easecheckonVuyi
swa,
”Zanamuhl
asays.
Bont
lel
eavest
heroom andgoest
oVuyiswa’
sroom.
I
twasgett
ingawkwar
d,Zanamuhl
asavedher.She
fi
ndsVuyi
swal
osti
nhert
hought
sandhuggi
ngt
he
pi
ll
ow.
“
Whyar
eyouhi
dingher
e?”sheasks.
“
Idon'
twantt
obewher
eMazwi
is,
”Vuyi
swar
epl
ies.
“
Why?
”Bont
lef
rownsandsi
tsnextt
oher
.
“
Iaskedhi
m out
,het
urnedmedownandnowhe
i
s……..
”
“Whatonearth!Vuyi
swayouaskedamanout ?
”She
i
sonherf eet
,hereyesarebul
gingout .Shei
sin
awe,herhandsareoverhercheeks,hermouth
hangsopenaf t
erherl
astwords.Indeedtheworldi
s
comingtoanend!
“Keepyourvoi
celow.Idi
dn'
tkil
lanyone,
”Vuyi
swa
shushesherandpull
sherbackonbed.Jesus’
dist
antcousi
n!
“
Whor ai
sedyou? ”Bontl
e’smi ndr
efusest
oaccept
whatshejustheard.Agirlaskedamanout?That'
s
aman'sduty.Lordforgi
ve!
“Don'
tmakemef eelbad.Menaskusoutever
yday
andnobodyeversaysanythi
ng,
”Vuyi
swa.
“Becausethat
'showthi
ngsaresupposedtobe.
Trustme,evenifMazwakhewasattr
actedtoyoui
n
anyway,youhavedestr
oyedyourchancesfor
good.”
“
Whatdoyoumean?
”Nowshe'
sabi
twor
ri
ed.
“Youdi
sgr
acedyoursel
fVuyiswa.Mendon'tl
ike
gir
lswhot
hrowthemselvesonthem,”Bont
le.
“Idon' tcar
e,hecant hinkwhateverhewants.”She
shr ugshershoul dersandopensherhalfbottl
eof
wi ne.Shedidn'tbringanyglass,shesi
psstraight
from t hebott
le.Onlyifal
coholcouldendallher
probl emsforever!
“Youdon'
tlookl
ikesomeonewhodoesn'
tcar
e,”
Bontl
esays.
“
Fuckof
fBont
le!
!!
!”

Backint hel
ounge,Mazwakhei sstar
ingatt
he
room Bontl
edisappearedi
n.He'swonderi
ngwhy
Vuyiswaisnotcomingout.Isshemadathi m?She
shouldbe.Heactedlikeanidi
ot,hehadnorightt
o
fi
ghtanotherman.Whenshewant
edhi
sat
tent
ion
heturnedherdown.
“
Whosawherdr
owni
ng?
”Zanamuhl
a.
Theconver
sat
ionMazwakhehasbeenabsentf
rom
goeson.
“Heruncl
edid,
hewast heonewhoal
ert
edt
he
community,
”Busi
khayasays.
“Idon'tunderst
and.Whatmadehi mt hi
nkshehad
drowned?Shewentt ofet
chwat erandgotdel
ayed.
Ast i
mewentbyt heunclewenttolookforher
,he
foundt hebucketandhershoesf l
oati
ngonthe
water.Buthedi dn’
tseeherdr
owni ng,i
twasall
suspicions.
”Zanamuhlaf r
owninginconfusi
on.
“Zanamuhlafor
getaboutt
hist
hing.Justl
eti
tgo,
”
Ngcwethisays.
Shepret
endsnott
ohearhi
m andl
ooksat
Busi
khaya.
“
Wasshecl
oset
oheruncl
e?”sheasks.
“
I'
m notsur
e,”Busi
khayasays.
“
Maybeyouguysshoul
dlooki
ntot
his.Mnot
hoi
s
notdoi
ngokay.Ihavetol
dNgcwet
hiaboutthi
s,
i
nvesti
gat
ingfort
helastti
mewon'
tki
llyou.Thegi
rl
coul
dbealivesomewhere.”
“Whoi
st hatuncl
e?”Mazwakhebr
ingshi
sat
tent
ion
backi
ntotheroom.
“
BhekaniNdl
ovu,theonewhousedtodr i
vet
he
t
ruckanddel
iverblocks,
”Ngcwet
hit
ell
shim.
“
Iknowhim,heusedt
odat
eyounggi
rl
s,
”
Mazwakhesays.
“
Theywant
edl
if
tsf
rom t
het
ruck,
”Busi
khaya.
“
Maybe.
”Mazwakheshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
It
'st
imefort
hem t
oleave.Zanamuhla’
sroommates
arenotcomf
ort
abl
ewi t
hthem aroundandthey
needtogohometocheckifthecatt
lewasbrought
back.
“
CanIuset
hebat
hroom f
ir
st?
”Mazwakhe.
“
Onyourl
eft
,”Zanamuhl
asays.
Busi
khayadoesn'
twait
,heleavesthem behind.
Mazwakhemakeshisuselessbathroom tr
ip.He
cl
osesthedoorbehi
ndandst andsmindlessly
i
nsi det hebathroom.Halfnakedordr unk,heneeds
toseeherbef oreleavi
ng.Hopefull
yshehasnotl ost
i
nt erestandshedoesn' thatehim.Hegoest othe
sinkandwasheshi shandsslowly.Thebat hroom
dooropens, helooksbackjustassheat t
empt st
o
stepbackwar ds.Whent hei
reyesmeetVuyi swa
get selectr
icshockedandst andsmot ionl
esslyon
thesamespot .
“
Iwasj
ustwashi
ngmyhands,
”Mazwakhesays.
“Ididn'
tknowsomeonewasi nside,
I'
m sorr
y.”She
turnsaroundandtakesonlyaf ewstepsbefore
Mazwakhecal l
shername.I t
'sthefir
stti
meshe
everhearshernamecomi ngoutofhi sli
ps.She
l
ooksbackathi m wit
hhereyesbul gingout.
“
I’
mleavi
ngt
omor
row,
”hesays.
“
Sowhat ?”Shesoundsr
udeandt
hat
'snotwhatshe
i
ntended.
“IguessIjustwantt
osaysor r
yabouttheear
li
er
i
ncident.IhopeIdi
dn'tcauseanyprobl
ems
betweenyouandyourBOYFRI END.
”
“
Noyoudi
dn'
t,
”shesays.
“Soyouwantedmet
obeyoursi
de?”Thetempor
ary
apol
oget
icfacei
swi
pedof
fbyir
rit
ati
on.
“
Mazwiyoudi
dn'
twanttohavet
hisconver
sat
ion,
t
hat
'swhyyoubl
ockedme,ri
ght
?”
Heexhal
esdeepl
y.“
Yeah,
shar
p.”
“
Let'
skeepi
tthatway,pl
easeexcuseme.
”She
t
urnsar
oundandwal ksaway.
Hetakesafewst r
idesandcatchesherbeforeshe
makesitanywherefar.Hebri
ngsherbacki nside
thebat
hroom andpushesheragai nstt
hewal land
star
esatherwithangerbrewi
ngi nhiseyes.
“
Whatdoyouwantf
rom me?
”heasks.
“
Idon'
trepeatmysel
fMazwi
,getof
fme.
”
Hedoesn'tcomply,hegrabsherf aceandatt
acks
herli
pswi t
hawi l
dkiss.Atthemomenthedoesn' t
careaboutthesmellofalcoholandherlackof
clot
hing.He'sl
ostinher.Hersli
m bodyfit
sonhis
l
ikethepieceofapuzzle.
Thingshappentooqui
ckly,bef
oreMazwakhe
knowsitheistheonepressedagai
nstt
hewall.
There'
sahandsl idinginsi
dehisboxer
s,helet
sout
alowmoan.Hi smanhoodr eactstot
hesofthand
massagingitallaround.Hisbreat
hsaregr
owing
heavil
yinresponse.
Vuyi
swabr eakstheki
ssandpull
sherhandoutof
hi
sboxers.Shehasgotthesat
isfact
ionsheneeded
buthest
illwantsmore.
“
Vuyi
swa,
”hecal
lsherbet
weenheavybr
eat
hs.
Sheinsert
sherfingeri
nsidehi
smouth.Heneeds
nolectur
e,hesucksitli
keahungr
ypuppy.Vuyiswa
brusheshischeekbeforemaki
ngherwayout.
“
Vuyi
swa!
”
Shei
sgone.
Het ur
nsaround,
holdsont
ot hesi
nkandreleasesa
deepbreat
h.Whatisshedoingtohim?Thisis
harassment.

“It
houghtyouwer
enevercomi ngout
,”Ngcwethi
saysrel
easi
ngZanamuhlafrom hi
sembrace.He
nearl
ylef
tMazwakhebehindandheregret
swhyhe
di
dn'
t.He'
sungrateful
,hej
ustwal
kedpastand
di
dn'
tevenlookatthem.
Hehasser
iousangerpr
oblems.What'
stheexcuse
now?Themerebathr
oom provokedhi
m?
“CanIcomeseeyout
omorr
ow?”Heshi
ft
shi
s
att
ent
ionbackt
oZanamuhl
a.
“No,you'
renotgoodf
orme,
myexamsar
est
art
ing
soon.”
Hepull
shisface,Zanamuhlachucklesandkisses
hi
scheek.It
'sget
tinghardli
vingfarfr
om her.I
fit
wasupt ohi
m he'
ddr i
vehertocol l
egeever
y
morni
ng.Hehast houghtaboutsuggesti
ngita
numberofti
mesbutf oughtagainstit
.She'
dbitehis
headoffandnotspeaktohimf ordays.
Shewal kshi
mtothegroundfl
oorandkisseshi
m
goodbye.He'
snothappyaboutleavi
ngandthat
's
howclingyhehasbecome.
.
.
-
-
Vuyi
swa

Igetacal
lfrom anunknownnumberinthemiddle
oftheni
ght.Ianswerwit
hmyeyesclosed.If
Zanamuhladidn'
tstopmeIwould'
vefi
nishedthe
wholebot
tleofwine.
“Whoisthis?
”Iask,thecall
erhasbeensilentsi
nceI
answered.Whatisthepurposeofthi
scall?Ihope
i
t'
snotoneoft hoseil
luminat
inight
-f
lyer
s.
“Mxm, fuckoff!
”I'
m abouttoremovet hephone
from myearandgobackt omysl eepwhenIhear
him call
ingmyname.Ihaven' tgotusedt oi
t,not
thathehascal l
edmemor ethanonce, butt
ohearit
comi ngfrom hi
smout hsl
apsdi f
ferentl
y.
“
Areyousl
eepi
ng?
”
Somequest
ionst
hough!
“
YesMazwi
,i
t'
s01:
39am.
”
“
I'
m sor
ry.
”
Si
gh!
“Whosenumberi
sthi
sandwhyar
eyoucal
li
ngme
att
histi
me?’
Iask.
Si
lence.
“
Mazwi
?”
“
Vuyi
swawhyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hist
ome?
”
I'
m complet
elylost.Ihaven'
tdoneanyt
hingt
o
anyone,
I'
mj ustsleepingonmybed.
“
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”Iask.
“
Yousai
dyouli
kemeandr oamedwit
hanot
herf
ool
i
nfr
ontofme.Whati
syourint
ent
ion?
”
Sohe'st
allf
ornot
hing,
hismemor
yisshor
tert
han
Bont
le’
slegs.
“
Mazwiyousai
dI'
m notyourt
ype,
you'r
enot
i
nter
est
edi
nmeandbl ockedme,
”Iremindhi
m.
“Iwasshocked,okay.Ihaveneverbeeni
na
sit
uat
ionli
kethatbefore,
”hesays.
“
Nowyou'
renol
ongershocked?
”
“
Vuyi
swa!
”
“Ihavetoknowwhenyou'
regoi
ngt
obeunshocked.
Didn'
tIshockyou?
”
“
Iwantust
odot
hingsnor
mal
ly.
”
“
Def
inenor
malf
orme,
”Isay.
“
Iwantt
oaskyououtonadat
e.”
IswearIseet
hesuncomi
ngoutatni
ght
.He'
s
aski
ngmeout?Glor
y!!
!
“
Aren'
tyoul
eavi
ngt
omor
row?
”Iask.
“I
'
m notsur
eanymor
e,myl
if
eisher
eandyouar
e
here.
”
Myheartdoesalit
tl
edance,myfootisr
otati
ng
gentl
yonbed,myf i
ngersar
etappi
ngont hepil
low.
Isthi
showhappinessfeel
sli
ke?Ihaveneverfelt
thi
swaybefore.
“
YetI
'
m notyourt
ype,
”Isay.
“
Canwest
artasst
ranger
stomor
row?
”
“
Okay,
deal
.”
“
Pleasegobackt
osl
eep.
”
“
Yeah,
I'
llhaveonegl
assf
orcel
ebr
ati
ont
hensl
eep.
”
Si
lence.
Isai
dthatonpurpose.I'
m notgoingtochange.Yes,
ther
ewillbeti
mesforcompr omises,
butthegirl
whocalledhi
m andtoldhim shewasi nt
erest
edin
himisthegir
lheisaskingout.Nothi
ngisgoingto
change.
“
Whydoyoudr
ink?
”heasks.
“BecauseI'
m over18andIcanaf
for
dtobuy
alcohol
.”
“
Andbody-
reveal
ingcl
othes?
”-hi
m.
“
I'
m comf
ort
abl
eint
hem,
”Isay.
Hecr
oaksoutabri
efchuckl
e.“
Wewi l
ltal
k
t
omorrow,
textmeaft
eryourcl
asses.
”
WhydoIfeell
ikesomeoneisprepari
ngtochange
mylif
est
yle?I
'
m notabouttodressli
kehissist
eror
spendmyweekendsdrinki
ngrooibosteal
ikeBontl
e.
[
11/
19,
09:
52] :Chapt
erTwent
yEi
ght
Theyallputthei
rjacket
sonandst and.Mazwakhe
remainsont hecouch,hehasn'
tparti
cipat
edinany
oftheconversati
onseventhoughhewaspr esent
andli
stening.
“
Wehavet
ogo,
”Busi
khayasays,
looki
ngathi
m.
Helooksupandf
indsal
lthr
eepai
rofeyesgl
uedon
hi
m.
“
We?
”heasks.
“I
nt hisfamilywedothi
ngstoget
her.Mnotho’
s
problem isourprobl
em,nobodyeverf
ightal
one
here,”Busikhaya.
“Soyou'regoi ngt oaf i
ght?”Hesawt hem shoving
gunsbehi ndt heirwaists,l
icki
ngblackpowderand
swallowingwi tht hei
rfacessqueezedindespi seof
anawf ultaste.Theyhaveneverbel i
evedinsitti
ng
downandt alkingt hi
ngs.JustbecauseHlahla
assumedt hattheuncl emightknowsomet hi
ngi t
doesn'tmeanher eall
ydoesknowsomet hing.It
's
anassumpt iont hatneedst of
oll
owedupon
caref
ully.Thisi sacr i
ti
calmatter
,wardoesn' t
guaranteet hetruth.
“
Asi fthat
'ssomet
hingstranget
oyou!Yeswewi
ll
f
ightifwehaveto,
”Busikhaya.
“
Well
,Idon'
tjustf
ight
.It
alk,
ifI
'
m notl
ist
enedt
o
t
henIfi
ght,
”Mazwakhesays.
Busikhayareleasesadr
amaticexhalat
ion,
heis
boredtohisbones.“You'r
enotgoingtogetan
awardf ori
t!Nobodycareswhat……..
”
Ngcwethiletsoutadisturbi
ngheavysighthat
br
ingssilencetothebickeri
ngbrot
hers.Someti
mes
i
tfeel
slikehe'stheolderone.Busi
khayaneeds
morereprimandingthanhi m,i
t'
sal
waysbeent hat
way.Mazwakheseemst obenodiff
erentfr
om him.
“ThisisforMnotho.What
everbeefyoutwohave
endsher e,whenwestepoutofthi
syardwearethe
Jamas, weshowuni t
yandstandagainstt
heworl
d
together
,”hesays.
“
Nof
ight
?”Mazwakhe.
I
t'
smor eli
kehe'sgi
vingthem anul
ti
mat
um.No
f
ightorhe'
llst
aybehindandnotgo.
“
Yes,
nof
ight
,butwecannotgounar
med,
”
Ngcwet
hisays.
Finallyever yonei sonboar d,it'
sal most8pm when
theyl eave.Event houghtheNdl ovuhomest eadis
notver yfar,t
heychooset oridei nacari nsteadof
walki ng.Busi khayaissitt
ingatt hebackwi th
Mazwakhe, they'rebothgluedt ot heirphonesand
notexchangi nganywor d.It'
sbeenonl y11daysf or
Busi khaya, 79dayst ogoandhe' snotsur eifhis
patiencewi l
lbeabl etocar r
yhi m.Ther e'sno
denyi ngt hathel ovesNont obekoandhe' ddo
anythi ngt obewi thher.But90daysofnoi ntimacy!
They' readul t
s, ki
ssesandcol dhugsar enotenough.
Hewant smor eandsheknowst hat .Tomor rowshe
askedhi mt ocomef ordinner ,he'st ryi
ngnott olet
thef earoft ortureherbodygi veshi m st andi nthe
way.Maybei t'spartofthepl an, acer t
ainchapt eri n
thatst upidbookadvi si
nghert oi nvitehim over
const antlyandwat chhim bitei nhi ssexualdesi res.
Mazwakhe’sphonevibrat
es,helooksatthepi
ctur
e
senttohim andchuckl
es.I
t'
sstrangehow
everyt
hingi
shappening,ahalf
-nudepict
ureofa
womanhewant stohavesomet hi
ngsoli
dwith
wouldhavenevermadehi ml aughinthepast
.He'
s
al
waysbeencar efulaboutt
het ypeofgi
rl
shegoes
aft
er,andappearancehasalwaysbeena
deter
mi ner
.
“
Canyoust op?I
'mtr
yingtoli
stent
oanimpor
tant
work-
rel
atedvoi
cenote,
”Busi
khayasaysi
n
i
rr
it
ati
on.
“
Getagi
rl
fr
iendandst
opannoyi
ngme,
”Mazwakhe.
“Whydon'tyout
akeyourownadvice,orevenbet
ter
shovei
tinyourarse?
”Busi
khayaclapsback.
“Ihaveadat
etomor
rowandIdon'
tneedyout
o
spoilmymood.
”
“
Dat
ewi
thwho?
”
“
Noneofyourbusi
ness.
”
“
Isi
tVuyi
swa?Whatdoyouknowaboutdatesand
t
hecul
tur
eoftaki
ngafancygi
rll
ikeVuyi
swaout?
”
“I'
m sur
eit'
snott hatcomplicat
ed, ”Mazwakhesays.
He'sbeentoar estaurantbefor
e, heknowshowt he
foodisorder
edandhowt ousef orkandknif
e.
There'
snothingtowor ryabout,hepl anst
okeep
thei
rconversat
ionnatur
al.Thewhol epurposeof
tomorr
owi stodothingsthenaturalway,him
aski
ngVuyiswat obehisgirl
fr
iendandt aki
ngthe
l
eadasaman.
“
Well
,i
tis.Doyouknowwhatyou'
regoi
ngt
oor
der
f
orher
?”
“No,Idon'
t.Yout
ell
me,fancyboy.”NowMazwakhe
i
sbeyondannoyed.Busikhayat
hinksheknows
ever
ythingandhe'
sbet
terthaneveryone.
“
I'
mt r
yingt
ohel
pyou,
don'
tembar
rassyour
sel
f
t
here.
”
“
Wel l
,that
'st
hemainpur
poseoft
heday.Vuyiswa
t
hinksshewillbet
hemanofourr
elat
ionshi
p,”
Mazwakhe.
“
Whati
sthatsupposedt
omean?
”Busi
khayaasks.
“
Haveyouseenhowshedr
essesup?I
'm notgoi
ng
t
ohaveagir
lf
ri
endwhowalksar
oundhal
fnaked.”
“Thatmeansit'
soverbef
oreitevenbegan,
”
Busikhayasaysandchuckl
es.Heknowsgi r
lsl
ike
Vuyiswa,the50-
50generat
ionthatwearpant
sina
r
elat
ionshi
p.Shewon'
tchangeher
sel
fforaman.
“Shechoseme, t
her
e'snotur
ningbacknow.Iwant
her,
justnotasshei
s,”Mazwakhesays.
“
Goodluck,
askNgcwet
hif
ort
hebat
h-sal
tbef
ore
l
eavi
ng.
”
Mazwakhej ustchuckles.Hedoesn'
tneedbath-
salt
s,Vuyiswalovedhim wit
houtthem andshe'
l
l
changef orhi
m will
ingl
y.Tomorrowwil
ldeter
mine
therealbull
.
“Didyouguysactualt
alkwi
thoutasi
ngl
est
upi
d
argumentbackthere?
”Mndeni.
“
Fuckof
f,
”Busi
khaya.
“
Happybi
rt
hdayt
oyout
oo.
”

-
-

“I’
m get
ti
ngti
redoft
his!
”Mndenisighsandr eturns
backtowherehisbr
other
sarestanding.Busikhaya
takeshi
ssecondtur
noftort
uri
ngBhekaniwhost i
ll
r
efusest
osayanyt
hingaboutKhwezi
'
sdeat
h.
Hegr abshi
m andshoveshisheadinsi
dethe
bucketofwater.Whenhestart
stappi
nghisfoot
Busikhayapul
lshim outandor
dershimtotal
k.
“
Whatmadeyouf
oll
owaf
terher
?”
“She….wasmy….myniece.”Hedropsont hefloor
andfight
stocatchhi
sbr eat
h.Busikhayastepson
hischestandr
epeatsthequesti
onf orthesecond
ti
me.
“Youonlystar
tedcar
ingthatday.DoIhavet okil
l
youbeforeyoutel
lmethet r
uth?”He'slosing
pati
ence,i
tcouldonl
ytakeonebul l
ettofinishthi
s.
“Howwoul dhetal
kwhenhe'
sdead?”Mazwakhe.
He'ssit
ti
ngonthewoodenbenchpl
acednearthe
door.Hehasbeengluedonhi
sphoneallal
ong.
“Mazwakhedon'tannoymenow.Youwi l
ljoi
nthi
s
motherf
uqerandt ogetheryou'
l
lgonavigateyour
roadtohel
l,
”Busikhayachewshi m out
.Hehas
moreimport
antthingst odowithhi
st i
met han
beggi
nganol dwrinkledman.
“Mndenihowt
ojointhi
sInstagr
am t
hing?I
'
mtol
d
I'
l
lfi
ndsomepict
uresther
e.”Mazwakhetur
nshi
s
att
enti
ontoMndeni.
“Whydon'
tyoujustleave,
Inst
agr
am ki
ng?
”
Busi
khayaaskspissed.
“
Geez,
guyswedon'
thavet
imef
ort
his!
”Mndeni
.
Mazwakheshoveshi
sphoneint
hebackpocketof
hi
sjeanandjoi
nsBusi
khaya.
“Ngifunaukuyol
ala.Babai
phiingane?
”(Iwantt
ogo
sleep.Sir
,wherei
st hechi
ld?
”
“
Isai
dIdon'
tknow,
”Bhekanir
espondsst
ubbor
nly.
“
Shedi
edoryoudon’
tknow?
”
“
She……….
”
“Thi
nkcaref
ull
ybeforeanswer
ing,I
'm not
Busi
khaya,I
'm notgoi
ngtowateryourfaceand
massageyou.”
“
Shedi
ed,
”hesayswi
thoutanysecondt
hought
.
“Andwhydidyouf
ollowher
?Whatmadeyout
hink
shemightdr
ownintheri
ver
?”Mazwakhe.
“
Myi
nst
inct
stol
dme,
”Bhekanisays.
“Aretheytel
li
ngyout hatyou'
reabouttol
osean
ear?”Hepullsoutthepocketknif
eandplacesit
againstBhekani'
scheek.Hiseyeswidensatthe
sightofaknife.
“Fornotl
ist
eni
ngwhenIt
oldyoutothinkcar
eful
ly
befor
eansweri
ng,
”Mazwakheexpl
ains.
“
Oh, shi
t!
”Mndenisaysdel
ight
ful
lyandstepscloser
f
orabet t
ervi
ew.MazwakhekicksBhekani’schest
wit
hakneeandpr esseshi
sarmsont hefloorto
r
estri
ctanymovement .
Thekni
feisonl
yaf ewinchesinhisskinwhenhe
cr
iesoutandasksforanotherchance.Thesi
ghtof
bl
oodsetsNgcwethioff
,heleavestheroom and
st
andsoutsi
detoguard.
“Theseearsareusel
ess,
youdon'
tli
sten.One
simplequest
ionandyoucoul
dn'
tfol
lowt he
i
nstruct
ions.
”
“
Iwi
llt
hinkbef
oreIt
alk,
pleasest
op,
”Bhekanibegs.
Mazwakhepul
lsawayt
hekni
feandl
if
tshi
mtosi
t
up.
“Wher
eisthechi
ld?
”her
epeatsthequest
ionand
si
tsonthethi
nsmell
ymatt
ress.
“Don'
tfor
gettothinkboy,
imaginegoi
ngtothe
taver
nwithoneearandmi ssi
ngsomeofJudith
Sepuma'slyr
ics,
”Mndenisaysandbreaksi
nto
l
aughter.
“Don'
tlethi
m dist
ractyou,
takeyourt
imeandt
hink
caref
ull
y,”Mazwakhesays.
Busikhayaletsoutasi
gh.They'
rereal
lygoi
ngto
begthisgrandpa?Ifi
t'
sanearthatneedstobe
sl
iced,sobei t
.They'
vebeenhereforal
mostan
hourtryi
ngt otal
ktohim.
“
Timei
sup,
tal
k!”hesays.
Mazwakhelooksathim wi
thdi
sapproval.Hehad
hi
sti
met odealwit
hthisandhefai
led.“Canyou
st
opint
erfer
ingi
nthis?”
“
Youhavet
imet
owast
e,Idon'
t.
”
“
Fuckof
f!
”
“
No,
youf
uckof
f!
”
“Fuckoffbot
hofyou!”Mndenijumpsinfuri
ously.
Thesetwoalwaysactimmaturethanthei
rkids.
Ngcwethital
kedt
othem aboutbrother
hoodand
how…..…
“Khwezi
lokusaismarr
ied.
”Hestart
lesal
lofthem.
Theytur
nt ohim wi
tht
heireyesbul
gingout
.
Shei
smar
ri
ed?
??
“
Ibegyourpar
don?
”Mndeni
.
“Shegotmarr
ied.Imar
ri
edherof
ftomyf
ri
endi
n
Ngudwini
.”
“
Soshei
sal
ive?
”Busi
khaya.
“
Yes.
”
Theyl
ookateachother
.Thenewreal
it
yst i
ngsand
sl
apshar
d.Theydidn'
tbeli
eveMnot
ho,theytol
d
hi
m hewascrazyandforcedhi
mtokeepshut .
Howaretheygoi
ngt
otel
lhi
mt het
rut
h?Khwezi
wassol
dtoamanandshe'sbeenmarri
edt
ohim
f
oryear
s.
Theyhavelethi
m downandhemi
ghtneverf
orgi
ve
them f
ort
his.
.
.

Vuyi
swa

Iknowt hi
sisnottheki
ndoflookMazwakhewould
approveof,butt
odayistoospeci
alf
ormet osl
ide
i
ntobaggycl ot
hesandlookli
keagranny.
“
Thatdr
essi
stooshor
t,
”saysGod'
scousi
n,Bont
le.
“
Iknowsweet
y,I
'
m st
andi
ngi
nfr
ontoft
hemi
rr
or.
”
“
Don'
tyout
hinki
t'
sabi
twhor
ish?
”
Bathong!I
swhori
shevenar
ealwor
d?No,Idon'
t
thi
nkamer edr
esscanmakeone‘
whor
ish’
,
whatevert
hati
s.
“Zanoooo,comelookatyoursist
er-
in-
law,
”sheyell
s
outandZanamuhl arunsinwithi
nami nut
e.They
sharesomanysi mil
arit
ies,
butZanamuhlatakes
thecuponcur i
osi
ty,shealwayswantstoknow
what'shappeni
ngaroundher .
“Soyouarenotgoi
ngt
owearabr
a?”Shei
sin
complet
eawe.
Peopl
est
il
lwearbr
ast
hesedays?
!
“
MustIl
eti
tloose?
”Iaskbr
ushi
ngdownmyweave.
“Anyt
hingyouwant,j
ustknowthatMazwakhewon'
t
bepleasedwit
hthi
sdress,
”Zanamuhlasays.
“Don'tworrySi
s,Mazwiwi
llchangehi
swholel
if
e
perspecti
ve.I
nafewmont hshe'l
lbet
heonebuyi
ng
bum- shor
tsforme,
”Isay.
“Thi
srelati
onshi
pwillbeoverbef
oreyoucaneven
spel
ls-e-x,
”shesaysandwalksout.
Negat
iveenvi
ronment
!
Iputmyankle-boot
sonandcal ltocheckhowf arhe
i
s.I'
m notsureaboutourt
ransport,hedoesn'
thave
acaranymore.Hejusttol
dmet ogetreadyand
waitf
orhim.
Hesayshe'soutsi
deandcomi ngin.It
rytoi
gnore
t
hesuddenr api
dheart
beat.I
'm bol
d,Mazwakhe
must
n'tchangewhoIam, Ifearnobody'
spresence.
“
You'
resexyt
hough,
”Bont
lesayswhenIwal
kpast
her
.
Trusthert
ogi
veacompl
imentandendi
twi
th
‘
though.’
“
Blacki
smycol
our
,”It
ellher
.
“No,i
t'
sforwit
ches.Haveyouseent
hem i
nthe
movies?Theywearweavesli
keyour
s,l
ongnai
ls
and……”
Zanamuhl apushesthedooranddisturbsuswit
h
herlaugh.She'
sagoodgi r
l,f
reespir
itedandall
,but
sheneverlaughsthishar
d.Thejokemustber eall
y
great.MaybeTrevorNoahisinthebuildi
ng.
“Hei
swaiti
ngforyouinthelounge,
”shesayswhen
shef
inal
lycal
msher sel
fdown.Idon'tknowMazwi
asacomedian,maybetheysharedaf amil
yjoke.
Igrabmypur seandwalkout.Taki
ngaj acketwi
th
memakessense, butIdon'twantanyt
hingtohide
myst unni
ngdress.IwantMazwakhetoseeal lt
his
fl
esh,itwi
llbehi
stoadmi r
eand…..WTF!
“
Mazwi
!”I
'
m al
mostyel
li
ng.
Hel
ooksupandr
isesupf
rom t
hecouch.I
sthi
sguy
t
ryi
ngt
otur
nmei
ntoal
aughi
ngst
ockorwhat
?
“
SawubonaMaZwi
de.
”
“
Mazwi
,It
houghtwewer
egoi
ngout
.”
Hef
rowns.“
Yeswear
e,ar
eyour
eady?
”
“
I'
mtheonewhoshoul
daskt
hatquest
ion.
"
Herol
lsupthesl
eeveofhi
soveral
l.Yeap,
youhear
d
t
hatri
ght,
he'swear
inganavyover
allandboot
s.
“
I'
m her
etopi
ckyouup,
”hesays.
“
Dressedl
iket
his?
’Iask.
Helooksathi
mselfandhiseyesspar
knot
hingbut
admir
ati
onforhi
sownf ashi
onsense.
“
Yes,
”hesays.
“Youcannotgooutdr
essedli
kethi
s."Gosh,Ican'
t
deal
.Ibookedatabl
einthemostexpensive
rest
auranti
ntownandthisi
stheguyI'm goi
ngwith?
“
Wedon'
ttel
leachot
herwhatt
owear
,remember
?”
“
Butyoucan’
twear
…..
…”
“
Icanwearwhat
everI
'
m comf
ort
abl
ein,
andsocan
you.
”
Hehasascor etosett
le.Ithoughthewasdone
fi
ghti
ngmeovermycl othes.Howam Igoingtolook
atpeopleintheeyes?For getthat
,howam Igoingto
hi
def rom myf el
lowstudentswhoar escat
ter
edall
overtheparkinglot
?
“Shal
lwe? ”Hetakesmyarm andl
inksi
ttohis.He
camepr eparedtoembar
rassme.IwishIcanlove
himless.

Thedevi lreall
ywor ksovert
ime,wewalkonJulani
steppingoutoft hel i
ft
.Mazwakhedoesthe
unthinkable.Rememberher ol
ledonesl
eeveup,
wel lhejusttookonear m outl
ikeSdumo.Myeyes
meetJul ani,hisfacetell
smeonet hi
ng,I
'm goi
ng
straighttoTrendingSA.Icanseet hepi
tyinhis
eyes, hegivesmeasadwaveandwal kspast.
“Areweridingat axi?
”Iaskwhil
eprayinghardf or
theopposit
e.Imagi netheeyesIwi
llgetintherank.
Taxidr
iverswillcheerhimforscor
ingasl ay-
queen,
andhelooksl i
keoneoft hem.Notreall
y,theylook
bet
tert
hanhi
m,he'
sli
keagar
denboy.
“No,there'
sthecar.
”Hepoi nt
stotheot hersi
deof
thewor l
d.We'dhavet ocr
ossther oad,passa
numberofst udentgroupswho'l
ltakepictur
esand
uploadthem inLadiesHouseandI 'l
lbethe
l
aughi ngstockofacentury.
Mndenistepsoutofthecarandopensthedoorfor
usattheback.Ihavenodoubt,t
hiswholet
hingis
hi
sidea.Iregr
etfeel
ingsor
ryforhi
m whenJulani
waschasinghim upanddown.
“Vuyi
swayoulookni
ce.Yourhai
risl
ongert
han
yourdress.
”
Di
dhej
ustfir
eashotatme?Myhairi
sn'tlonger
t
hanmydress.Yest
hedressi
sshor
t,but…..
“
Bafoyoulookhandsomet
oo,
”hesayst
o
Mazwakhe.
“
Well
,Itr
y.”Hi seyest
urntomeandhi sl
ipscurve
i
ntoasmile.Ihaveneverseenhi
m smili
ngbefore,
t
hiswhol
et hingmustbereall
yamusing.
“
MooiRoyalRest
aur
ant
?”Mndeniaskswi
thhi
s
handsont
hest
eer
ingwheel
.
Inodmyheadi
nresponse,
hest
art
sthecar
.
“Youdi
dn'
tsendt
hepict
uresyest
erday,
”thegar
den
boynextt
omesays.
Ij
ustneedt
orel
easeasi
ghbef
orer
espondi
ng.
“
Isai
dyou'
l
lfi
ndt
hem onI
nst
agr
am,
”Isay.
“
Myphonedoesn'
thavei
t,
”hesays.
“That
'swhatPl
ayStor
eistheref
or,t
odownloadthe
appsyourphonedoesn'
thave.I
t'
sthatsi
mple!
”
Hechucklesandli
nkshi
shandonmi ne.Thatchi
ll
y
f
eel
ingresurf
aces.CanIbenotchar
medbyt hisguy
f
oronce?!
“
Youl
ookangr
y.Whatdi
dIdo?
”heasks.
Heknowswhathedi d.Ipullmyhandandf i
xmy
eyesoutsi
dethewindow.Icanf eeleverygl
ancehe
steal
s,hi
seyesleaveabur ningsensat
iononmy
cheekandI'
mf i
ghtingtokeepmycomposur e.

Wear
eher
e,whi
tepeopl
ear
eal
lovert
hepl
ace,
they'
l
llaughatmeinAfr
ikaansandIwon'
theara
damnt hingt
heysay.
“Hel
lo,welcomet oMooiRoyalrest
aur
ant
.Myname
i
sKei shaandI '
l
lbeyourwaitr
essfort
heday.Do
youhavethet ableorIshoul
d…..
?”
“
No,
wedon'
thaveat
abl
eher
e,”hi
m.
Deepbreat
hVuyi
swa!You'
vebeent
hrought
he
worse.
“Yeswedohavet abl
eKeisha,
Ical
ledear
li
er.
”I
i
gnor ethestarehe'
sgivi
ngme.Icanfeel
everyone'seyesonmeandIwonderwhat '
sgraci
ng
theirmind.Maybetheythi
nkI'
m hi
semployeror
blessee.
Keishatakesust othetableandbringsourdr inks
shortl
y.Theirser vicehasal waysbeengr eat.Iwas
i
ntroducedt ot hisrestaurantbyoneofthel ecturer
s
whowashopi ngf orar el
ati
onshipwithme.Hewas
ahead-turner,al waysonpoi ntli
kehe'ssteppingout
ofthemagazi necover .ButIturnedhim down, and
hereIam wi t
ht heoneIl ove.Mazwakhe, whol ook
l
ikehej uststeppedoutoft hekraal.
“
Youdon'
tlookhappy,
”hesays.
“That
'sbecauseI'
m nothappy.Youcould'
vewor
n
somethingdecentf
ormysake, ”Isay.
“Butwetal
kedaboutt
hat,youcannotdi
ctat
ewhatI
wearandwhen.Thesamewayyoui nsi
stongoi
ng
aroundhal
f-
naked,
”hesays.
“
ButIl
ookni
ce,
”Isay.
“
Yourownobservat
ions.Il
ookni
cet
oo,
youhear
d
Mndenicompl
iment
ingme. ”
FuckMndeni
!
“
Youdon'
tlookni
ceatal
l,
”Isay.
“
Nei
therdoyou.
”
Wow!Thi
sishowwest
artt
hingsof
f.
“
Whatdoyouwantmet
owear
?”Iask.
“Justcoveryourthighsandbr
east
s.Iunder
standif
you'r
eindoorsorgym, buti
npubli
cyouneedtolook
l
ikesomeone’ sfuturewi
fe.
”
“
Someone’
s?”Iask.
“Mine,”hesayswi
thabi
toft
hesmi
leI
'
dli
ket
osee
everyday.
“IguessIcandothat
,butonl
yifyougetr
idoft
he
overal
lsaswell
,
”Isay.
“
Deal
!”
Wel i
nkpinkf i
nger
stoseali
toff
.IguessI
'l
lhavet
o
cancelmyt att
ooappoint
ment,
whatwouldbethe
pointofhavingatatt
oounderl
ongskir
tsand
dresses?
“
Ithi
nkyoual
readyknowwhyI'
m her
e.”Nowhe'
s
t
heseri
ousMazwakheIfel
linl
ovewi
th.
“
No,
Idon'
t,
”Isay.
“Vuyi swaIwantust ohavear elati
onship.My
definitionofarelat
ionshi pi
st wopeopl ewhol ove
andr especteachother .Twopeopl ewhoar ewil
li
ng
tost andt oget
heragai nsthurri
canesandst orms.I
haveneverbeenscar edofl ovi
ngaper son,even
thoughmyhear thasbeenbr okenanumberof
ti
mes, Istil
lgi
veloveachance.I 'm wil
li
ngt obea
man, toloveyouandr espectyouasmywoman.I t
willcomewi thalotofcompr omi sesandI ’
m wil
li
ng
t
ogoupanddownwi
thyou,
”hesays.
“
Okay,
”Isay.
“
Okay?
”heasks.
“
Yes,
Iloveyou.
”
“
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
obei
nourr
elat
ionshi
p?”
Whataquesti
on!Whatel
secoul
dIbe,Ihavea
vagi
na,
obviousl
yI'
l
lbethegi
rl
fr
iend.
Ohno,
it'
sat
rap!
“
I'
llbeal
over
,”Isay.
“
Gir
lf
ri
endorboyf
ri
end?
”
“
Girl
fri
end,youwin.Butdon'
tthi
nkyou'l
ltel
lme
whattodoMazwi ,youarenotmyfather
,howeverI
wil
lrespectyouandknowmypl ace,
”Isay.
“Andthat'
sallI
'
m askingfor
, r
espect
.St
art
respect
ingmebydel eti
ngallt
hosefool
sinyour
phone.You'r
emi nenow,”hesays.
“
Now?
”Iask.
Zamanipr
omi
sedmemoneyandt
her
e'sanot
her
onewhoowemeapai
rofshoes.
“Yes,now.
”Hisl
ookconfi
rmshiswords.He'
snot
kiddi
ng,hewant
salloft
hem del
etedbothi
nmy
phoneandlif
e.
Didn’
tIsayI'
l
lstandmygr
ound?Hej ustmademe
sweartogetri
dofmybum-short
s,andnowI '
m
delet
ingmyfri
endswit
hbenef
it
s.
“It
hinkyou'recontrol
lingme,”Isaypunchi
ngmy
phoneanddel etingeverymancont actI
'
m not
rel
atedto.Ican'tsayIwon'tmisstheirmoneybut
Mazwii sallIneed.Evenifhebecomest heonl
y
manIt extandcal l
,i
t'
llbeenough.
“
Whenam Igoi
ngt
otouchyourcooki
e?”
Didhejustaskmet heunthinkable?Whoasksagi
rl
thi
squesti
on?Ihopet hesewhi t
epeopledi
dn'
t
catchaword,other
wiseI'l
ltrendin7deLaanand
Fokusaswel l
.
“
Mazwiar
eyoucr
azy?
”I'
m whi
sper
ing.
“
It
'sonl
yfai
r,youwei
ghedmybal
lst
heot
herday.
”
Whatt
he…….
!Iwasi
nthebat
hroom andwear
ein
t
her
est
aur
antf
orcr
yingoutl
oud.
“
Iloveyout
ooMaZwi
de.
”
Myangerbecomeshist
ory,
I'
m mel
ti
ngand
bl
ushi
ngli
keafool.
[
11/
19,
09:
52] :Chapt
erTwent
yNi
ne

“
MthongaHi
ghSchool
?Howf
arar
ewe?
”
Theyal lkeepqui et.He'sbeenaski ngthem st upid
questionsasi fthey'vebeenher ebefore.Accor di
ng
towhatt heyhear d, they'l
ldrivepastaf or estknown
asMakhabukhabuorsomet hingcloset ot hatname,
andt hey'l
lar
rivei nacl ini
cshor t
lyaft
ert hat.When
theygett her
et hey'llaskar ound, Moyanai sawell-
knownt r
adit
ionalheal erint hisplace.Theywon' t
getlostoncet heygett othecl ini
c.
“Can'tyoudr
iveabi
tfast
er?I
'
mthi
rst
y.”Mndeni
again.
“Whydon'
tyouj
umpt
othef
rontanddr
ive
your
sel
f?”
Hekeepsqui et
.He'snotabouttologoutofsoci
al
net
wor kstodri
ve.Atleasthe'
snotfeel
ingthe
j
ourneyt hatmuch,hi
sphonei skeepi
nghim
ent
ertained.
Theyarr
iveatt
hecl
ini
c.There'
sashopnear
by,
Mndeniwastesnot
ime,herushesi
nsi
deandbuys
dri
nks.
There'
sagroupoffivemensi tt
ingar
oundone
bott
leofbeerandhavingal oudchat
.Hi
sbr ot
hers
aresti
lli
nsi
dethecar,wait
ingforaGod-sentwho'
ll
comeandt el
lthem wherethisMoyanamanl i
ves.
“Sani
bonaboBaba.
”Hestopsnextt
othem and
bowshiskneesali
tt
lebi
t.
Seeingthecarhesteppedoutofandtheclot
hes
he'sweari
ng,hequi
cklyearnsthei
rat
tent
ionand
the‘Ngamla'name.
“
I'
mlooki
ngforamancalledMoyana.Idon'
tknow
i
fyoucoul
dhelp,
”hesays.
“Don'
ttel
lusaboyli
keyouhaspr obl
ems.I
t'
sus
whoneedMoyana'sshort
-boysandhisr
atsthat
bri
ngmoney.”
“
That
'safair
ytal
e.Heli
ed!
”Anot
heronesaysand
t
heyallbr
eakint
olaught
er.
“Expl
ainwhydi
dhedi
epoori
fhi
srat
sreal
lywor
ked?
Hewasascam! ”
Laught
eragai
n!
Mndenicl
ear
shisthr
oat.I
tseemsl
iket
hey'
ve
f
orgot
tenwhatheaskedthem.
“
Wher
eishi
shomef
rom her
e?”heasks.
“Seethatmudhomesur r
oundedbytal
ltr
ees?
That'
swher ehismot
herandwif
eli
ves,
”oneof
them repl
ies.
“
Andwherei
she?”TheyneedtoseeMoyanamor
e
t
hanKhwezi
.Hehasalotofanswer
stogive.
“He'
scol
dunder
ground.Whydoyouneedhi
m,
son?”
“
NevermindBaba.Morebeers?
”heaskst
aki
ngout
afewnot
esoutofhiswall
et.
There'
sacheeri
ng.He'
sbeingreci
tedonand
wishedasaf
ejourneyashecli
mbsdownt he
concret
est
air
casefrom t
heshop.
“
Youwon'
tbel
ievet
his.Themot
her
fuckeri
sdead!
”
“
Whaaaaaaat
?”t
heychor
usi
nshock.
“
That'
shishome,
theysai
dI'
l
lfindhi
smot herand
wif
e.Ihopet
hewif
eisKhwezi
,”Mndenisays.
“Heisl
uckydeat
hgothi
m bef
oreus,
”Busi
khaya
saysangr
il
y.
Thejour neyconti
nues.Theypar
kbelowt hemud
homest eadandwal kinthr
oughtal
ltr
ees.It
's
str
angehowonewoul dsurr
oundhishomewi th
suchtrees.Everyonewantstobesafefrom snakes,
andtheset reesmightbeanestofthugs.

Theboyseest hem f
irstandyellsoutforhismother.
Hisclot
hescouldbecl eanerdespit
etheirlongand
probabl
yoverdueexistence.Hishaircould'
vebeen
tr
immednicerandhe' dlookli
keanor malyoungboy.
Awomanemer gesf
rom oneofthehutsandfol
lows
theboy'
seyes.Shemustbehismot her
.Whenher
eyesmeetfourmenstandingconf
ident
lyonher
yard,
shequickl
ywipesherwethandsonherapr on
andgr
eet
sthem.
“
Ist
hisMoyana'
shome?
”Ngcwet
hiasks.
“
YesandI
'
m hi
swi
fe.
”
Theylookatoneanot
her.Di
dtheycomeallt
hisway
fornothi
ng?Howaretheygoi
ngtotel
lMnothothe
trut
hifbothMoyanaandKhweziar
enothere?
“
Wewerelooki
ngf
orhi
m andt
heyounggi
rlhe
mar
ri
ed.
”
“
I'
m hi
swi
fe,
”sher
epeat
s.
“
Oh!
”
Si
lence.
“
Youhavegr
own.
”She'
slooki
ngatMndeni
.
Hef
rowns.
“
Me?
”
“
Mndeni
,ri
ght
?”
Itcl
icks.They'
rest
andinginf
rontofKhwezi
.She'
s
nowagr own,poor
-l
ookingwoman.Sheusedto
keepheraf r
ohairshor
tandwearcolourf
ull
eggi
ngs.
Thiswomanstandingi
nfrontofthem,wit
hadoek
ti
ghtl
ywrappedonherheadandl ongski
rtpeeki
ng
underherapr
on,she'
scompletel
yunrecogni
zable.
“
Youhaveachi
ld?
”Ngcwet
hiasks.
Theyallknewshewasmar ri
edforalongti
meand
therewasagoodpossibi
li
tythatshehadchil
dren
withMoyana.ButNgcwethihadhopeditwasn'
tthe
casebecauseMnothoissti
llwait
ingf
orher.
“
Yes,
hisnamei
sMnot
ho.
”
Theyeyeswideninshock.Shenamedthe
tr
adi
ti
onalhealer
’ssonaft
erthei
rbr
other
?
“Howishe?Whydi dn'
tyoubri
nghim wi
thyou?”she
asks.Ever
ythi
ngisnormalt
oher.She'
sjusthappy
toseepeoplefr
om herpast
.
“
Khwezieveryonet
hinksyoudrownedanddiedi
n
t
heri
ver.Yourmotherburi
edyourcl
othes,
”Mndeni
.
“
Aawww.That
'sabi
tdr
amat
ic,
don'
tyout
hink?
”
“Dramat
ic?Youruncl
emarri
edyouof
fwit
hout
anyoneknowing.Het
raf
fi
ckedyout
ohisf
riend!
”
“
Itwasf
ort
hebest
.I'
m happyandManeedsme
her
e.Nowt
ellme,
howMnot
hoi
s?”
Heavysi ghs!Thisisnothowtheypict
uredt hei
r
j
our ney.Theywer egoingtocutMoyana'sneck
open, t
akehi mtoUt hukel
aandfeedhimt othe
crocodiles.Thenthey'dfr
eeKhweziandbr i
ngher
homewi ththem.
Anol
dwri
nkledwomancomesoutofthesamehut
wi
thawal
kingst
ick.Shel
ooksatt
hem,onebyone.
“
Whoar
ethesepeopl
eMaNdl
ovu?
”
“They'
re……t
heywerel
ooki
ngforBabakaMnot ho.
They'r
emanyofthosewhodi
dn'thearabouthis
death.
”
Theyf
rown.Shegi
vest
hem aweaksmi
le.
“
Youwer
elooki
ngf
orhi
m,r
ight
?”shesays.
“Yes,wewantedt
oki
llhi
m andt
akeyouhome,
”
Busikhaya.
Ngcwethinudgeshi
m wit
hanelbow.Heshr
ugshi
s
shoul
dersandlooksst
rai
ghtatt
heoldwoman’
s
wri
nkl
edeyes.
“
Whatar
etheysayi
ng?
”sheasksKhwezi
.
“
Not
hingt
owor
ryaboutMa.
”
Thatweaksmi l
eagai
n!Inhermindshebel
ieves
thatshe'
shappybutherfaceal
waysref
useto
confi
rmthat.
“Comei nsi
deandhavesomelemonjuice.
”She
direct
stothem andleadst
hewaytooneofthehut
s
thatcouldfal
lanyt
imeheavyr
ainsat
tack.
“
Idon'
tdr
inkl
emonj
uice,
”Mazwakhesaysbehi
nd
t
hem.
“
Nobodycar
es.Thi
sisnotar
est
aur
ant
,”Busi
khaya.
“
Wel
l,
fuckyou!
”Mazwakhe.
Ngcwet hii
gnoresthi
sone.Thesoonerhel ear
nsto
channelhisearstowhatmat tersthebett
er.
BusikhayaandMazwakhewi l
lnotgetal
ongany
ti
mesoon.Thei rfi
ghtsarenott hoseofenemies
anymor e.I
t'
sacompet i
ti
onofwho' sol
derand
who’sright
.Itcanlastf
oreverifneit
herofthem l
ook
athisIDattent
ivel
yandr eal
izehowol dheis.
“
Idon'
tunderst
andwhatt
hef
ucki
sgoi
ngonher
e,”
Mndeniwhi
spers.
“She'
snothersel
f.Youcanseethatsomet
hingwas
donetoher,
”Ngcwet hisays.
“Iseeanold-youngwomanwhoi
scr
azy,
”
Busikhaya.
Khwezitur
nsaroundandl
ooksatt
hem.Theypi
ck
upthei
rpace.
“
Shutup!
”Ngcwet
hiwar
ns.
Shenearlycaughtt
hem.They’
renother
etohur
ther
feel
ings.
“
Vel
emdal
akodwamncane,
”Busi
khaya.
“
Mnot
howi
llki
llyou,
”Mndenisays.
“
Whi
chone?Ther
e'sanot
herone.
”
Ngcwet hihastocallt
hem i
ntoorderagai
n.They'
ll
discusst hi
swhenthey'r
einthecar.Nowtheyneed
toactl i
keguestsandhavelemonjuiceand
what everiti
sthatt
hey'
rebeingoff
ered.
Shel
aysar eed-matonthefloor.Theyremain
st
andingandlookateachot her.Ngcwethihast
o
gi
vethem afir
ml ookbefor
et heysit
.
Momentsl
aterKhwezicomesbackwi
thaj
ugof
l
emonjui
ceandaplateofcooki
es.
“
Shecanbeabi tcr
azyt
hat'
swhyIdi dn'
twanther
t
ofi
ndoutwhoyour eal
lyar
e.”She'
srefer
ri
ngtoher
mot
her-
in-
law.
Ngcwethit
akest
hejugandpoursthej
uicei
ntot
he
gl
ass.Hepassesi
ttoBusi
khaya.
“
Whymef
ir
st?
”heasks.
“
Mndenidr
ink,
”Ngcwet
hisaysannoyedandpasses
t
hegl
asstoMndeni.
“
No,
I'
m al
ler
gict
olemonr
emember
?”
Khwezi
’
seyesdr
opst
othef
loor
.
“
Isamahewuokay?
”sheasks.
“Yes,
they'
ref
ine,
”Ngcwet
hianswersonhisbehal
f
andgetsanelbowonthesi
deofhiswaist
.
Shewal
ksout
.Theyal
ltur
ntoMndeni
.
“
Sincewhenar
eyoual
ler
gict
olemon?
”
“
ThosemensaidMoyanahadshor
t-
boysandr
ats
t
hatst
olemoney,
”hesaysi
nalowvoice.
Thei
reyespopout
.
“Saywhat
?Asinimkhovu?
”Mazwakheasksand
pushest
hetr
ayfarf
rom hi
sfeet
.
“Ther
e'snot
hinghere,”Ngcwet
hisaysandpour
s
himsel
faglassofjuice.
Well,
they'
renott akingri
sks.Ngcwet hicanpr
otect
himself
,hefi
ght sdemonsi nhissleep.I
mkhovu
mustbewat chingt hem somewher e.Whatift
hey
fol
lowthem fordr i
nkingtheirj
uice?No.
Khwezicomesbackwi
thamahewu.Mndeniplaces
t
hecupbelowhisli
psandpr
etendst
obedrinking.
“
Mnot
homi
ssesyou,
”Ngcwet
hit
ell
sher
.
“Imi
sshimt oo.
”Shesmi l
es,
notweakthist
ime.
Ther
e'scuri
osit
yinhereyes,
she'
dli
kethem totel
l
hermore.Howt al
lishenow?Didhefi
nishschool
?
Andwhatishedoi ngnowwithhi
sli
fe?
“Whenareyoucomingt
oseehim?Heneeds
answer
s.Hisli
fei
sonastandst
il
lbecauseofyou,
”
Ngcwet
hiasks.
“
Becauseofme?
”Shepoi
ntsather
sel
fandf
rowns.
“Youjustdi
sappeared.Yourmot herdiedandyou
didn'
tevenatt
endherf uneral
.Whydi dn'
tyourun
awayorwentt othepolicestat
ionwhenyougott he
chance?”
“WhywouldIhavedonethat?I
'm marr
ied.My
husbanddi
edandl ef
tmewithhissonandmot her
.I
havesomanydut i
estof
ulfi
landthi
shomet olook
aft
er,
”shesays.
“Buti
twasnotyourwi
sht
obeher
e.Theyf
orced
you.”
“
Notheydidn'
t
.Myunclelovedme,
heknewwhat
wasbestf
orme,”shesays.
“
AndMnot
ho?Whatabouthi
m?”
He'sonethingshe'dgotoherpastf or.Thei
r
memor i
eshavekeptherhappyf oryear s.Whenshe
gotherbabyaf t
ertwomiscarr
iages, shedeci
dedto
namehi m aft
ertheboyshehadl ovedmor ethan
anythi
ng.Theboysheshar edsomanybeaut if
ul
chi
ldhoodmemor i
eswit
h.
EventhoughMoyanasoldthewatchMnothogave
toher
,shesti
llknowsexact
lyhowitl
ookedl
ikeand
i
tsmeaningwi llneverbeerasedf
rom herheart.Not
bytherazormar ksthatwereopenedt
oi nsertblack
powdersalloverherbody,andnotbythebucket sof
sti
ckywatershehadt odr
inkwhenshef i
rstgot
here.
He'salwaysbeenthereatthebackofhermind.
Nobodyunder st
oodhim, t
heysaidhewasful lof
hi
msel fandcruel
.Probabl
ybecausehehardl y
smiledatotherchi
ldr
en.Butsheknewhiml ikethe
backofherhand.Sheknewhowt ogethim smi l
ing
andhe'dsmi l
eonlyforher.
Shetr
ickedhimintoplayingZonkewit
hher.He
hat
editatfi
rst
,hesaidi tdi
dn'
tmakeanysense.But
wit
hti
mehest artedl
ikingitandhat
editwhen
Khwezishothi
speople.
“
Iwouldli
ketoseehim,
eveni
fit
'sf
oraf
ewhour
s,I
misshi
m,”shesays.
“Whydon'tyoucomebackhome?Yourso-
cal
led
husbanddied.
”Mndeniasks.
“
Ihavet
otakecar
eofMa.
”
“
Your
sdi
edandyouwer
en'
tther
e.”
“
Mndeni
!”Ngcwet
hisnaps.
Ther
e'ssomesi
lence.
“Whatmustwetellhi
m?He'st
her easonwhyweare
here.Dowesayhemuststopwor r
yingandmove
onbecauseyou'
rehappi
lymar
ried?”Busi
khaya
asks.
Hej
ustwant
stogetoverwi
tht
hisandl
eave.
“Askhimt omeetmeEshoweont he3rdthi
s
comingmont h,
Iwil
lbetaki
ngMat othehospi
tal
andI'
llhaveachancet
omeet ,
”shesays.
“
Areyouf
orcedt
ost
ayawayf
rom ever
yone?
”
“
Noooooo!
”shesaysqui
ckl
y.
They'
rehappyt
oputherdr
inksbackont
het r
ayand
l
eave.Anymovementfr
om thet
reesMndenij
umps
upandruns.
Hepeekst
hrought
hewi
ndowbef
oreopeni
ngt
he
door
.
“
Mazwakheyou'
redr
ivi
ngnow,
”Busi
khayasays.
“
No!
”
“
Thenwho'
sdr
ivi
ng?
”
“
Youagai
n.”
Theyallgeti
nsideandl
eavehim pi
ssednextt
othe
dri
ver
'sdoor.They'
rei
nforarace!
“
Putonyourseat
bel
tsandhol
dont
oyourseat
s.”
“
Why?
”theyask.
Heset
tl
esont
heseatandst
art
sthecar
.

-
-

Theyhaven'tt
oldMnot hoanyt hi
ng.Theydon'
tknow
wheretostart
.Thingsdi dn'tgoaccordingt
oplan.I
t
would'
vebeenl esscompl icatedifMoyanawas
al
ive.Theywoul d'
vekil
ledhi m, t
ookKhweziandlef
t.
ButKhweziseemst ohavel osthercommonsense.
Mndenileavestocheckonhisbelovedgi
rlf
riend.
Ngcwethihastowashhisfeet.Healwaysdoest hi
s
af
terst
eppingintooneofhi
ski nd’
spremises.
“
Wher
ehaveyoubeent
hewhol
eday?
”Mnot
ho
askswal
kingt
hrought
hedoor
.
“
Ngudwi
ni,
”Busi
khayasays.
“
Doi
ngwhatt
her
e?”
“
You'
l
lfi
ndoutsoon.
”
Henodshisheadandpassest ohi
smot her'
sroom.
Theydokeepsomet hi
ngsfrom hi
m andhedoesn't
mind.Hehashisownthingstoworryabout,asl
ong
astheMthembulegacyisnotatri
skhe'sgood.
Qophel
owal
ksi
nandf
indsBusi
khayawi
thhi
seyes.
“Baba,tomorr
owIhaveamat chandever
yonewi
ll
bebringingt
heirf
ather
s,”hesays.
“I
'm busyt
omor
row.Youruncl
eher
ewi
llgowi
th
you.”
“
ButIneedyout
ocomeBaba,
thi
sisi
mpor
tantt
o
me.
”
“I
'l
lcomel at
erduri
ngt
heday.Hewil
lbet
her
ewi
th
youandheknowssoccerbettert
hanme,
”
Busikhayasays.
“
Real
ly?
”Qophel
olooksatMazwakheabi
texci
ted.
Maybeit
'l
lbedif
ferentgoi
ngwit
hhim.Hisfatheri
s
al
waysimpati
entforthematchtoendsothathe
canat
tendhisbusiness.
“
Yes.I
'
m aPi
rat
esandyou?
”Mazwakhe.
“
Well
,I
'm anenemy.
”Heshr ugshisshoul
der
sand
t
heybot
hsharethei
rfi
rstsmile.
“
Whatt
imedoest
hemat
chst
art
?”Mazwakheasks.
“
12h30,
butwehavet
obet
her
ebef
ore11.
”
“
We'
l
lbet
her
e,”Mazwakhesays
Qophelowalksoutinabet termood.Hewasabi t
averseabouthavinganykindofrelati
onshipwith
thi
snewuncl e,buthisfat
hershavetakenhi m
anywher ewit
hthem andhehasn'tattempt edtoki
ll
anyoft hem.Maybe,justmaybe,they'
llbondover
soccer.Buti
tbothershim whyhel i
kesOr l
ando
Pir
ates,ever
yoneshoul dbesupporti
ngKai zer
Chiefs,i
tonl
ymakessense.
“
Thankyou,
”Mazwakhesays.
“Huh?”Busi
khayat
urnshi
seyest
ohi
m andl
if
tshi
s
brows.
“Isai
dthankyou.Thismeansalott
ome.I'ddo
anythi
ngtospendtimewithhi
m,”hesays.
“Justdon'
tsayanythi
ngbadaboutKai
zerChi
efs,
pretendt
oloveit
.”
Mazwakhechucklesandrestshi
sheadbackont he
couch.He'
dki
llf
orQophelo,butKai
zerChi
efsis
j
ustcrapandhewon'tbeabletopret
end.Hopeful
ly
he'
llgr
owupandr eal
izewhichoneisther
ightt
eam
tosupport
.
“You'r
estil
lont
he90dayssentence?”He'
sbackat
beingMazwakhe,scr
atchi
nghischinandgivi
ng
Busikhayathef
akepi
tylook.
“Howisthatanyofyourbusi
ness?
”Busi
khaya
snaps.
“
Itmighthel
pyouglow.Haveyoul
ookedatyour
sel
f
i
nthemi r
rorl
atel
y?”
“
Idon'
tneedt
ogl
ow,
I'
m notabi
tch.
”
“Youare.Lookathowonewomani sdri
vingyou
crazy.Shehasyouwrappedar
oundherlitt
lef
inger
.
Soonshe'llaskyout
owashherpanti
esfor90
days.
”
“Iwon'
tdothat
!”Busi
khayasayswi
thhi
sbr
ows
snapped.
“
Whynot
?Ar
en'
tyoubeggi
ngf
orherl
ove?
”
“
Ijustwanthert
obecomf
ort
abl
e,
”hesays.
“
Eveni
fitmeansyouwon'
tbecomf
ort
abl
e?”
“
Whati
syourpoi
nt?Whyar
eyoui
nmybusi
ness?
”
“Justgothere,
str
iphercl
othesoffandtel
lher
you'r
efuckingher
.Bedoneandl eave,
”Mazwakhe
says.
“
What
?Ican’
tdot
hat
!”
“
Pussy!
”
“
Ungangi
dakel
wa!
”Busi
khayasaysangr
il
y.
WhatmakesMazwakhet hi
nkshe'
sabet
terman
thanhi
m?HeeasilytookNombusofr
om hi
m.What
makesithardf
orhimtohavehi
swaywithNtobe?
Sheisreal
lymaki
nghimlookweak.
-
-

Hewast esnotime.Assoonasever
yonegoest
o
t
heirbedroom hesprayshi
sper
fumeandputshi
s
j
acketon.
He'l
ldoexactlywhatMazwakhet hi
nkshecan'tdo.
He’l
lwalkinherhouse,gotoherbedroom andstri
p
herclot
hesof f
.Hismanhoodwi l
ldothetalki
ng.He
hastomakesur et
hati
t'
sthenightshe'
llnever
for
get.She'
llbetheonerunni
ngbehindhi m af
ter
thi
s.
Hecan'
tjustbeweak.

Mshibemeetshim att
hedoor.He'sconfused
becauseBusi
khayadidn'
tcal
ltotellhi
m hewas
coming.Heal
wayst el
lshi
m wheneverhe'scomi
ng
over.
“
Isever
ythi
ngokay?
”heasks.
“
Yeahboy,
it'
sal
lgood.Howar
eyoursi
ster
s?”
“
Iguesst
hey'
regood.
”
“
Youguess?
”Busi
khayal
if
tsuphi
seyebr
ows.
“I
'
m scaredtogoseethem.Idon'
twantwhat
happenedthel
astti
meIwenttheret
ohappen
agai
n.”
“
Youcl
eansed,
didn'
tyou?
”Busi
khayaasks.
“
I'
m sti
llscared.Idon'
twanttobri
nganydar kness
t
omysi st
ers.Benzisensest
hingseasi
ly.Icannot
t
akethatrisk.”
“Sowhat?You' regoi
ngabandonyoursisters?
You'
reallthattheyhavenow.Thatwomani sjust
l
ookingafterthem becauseyoupayher
, t
heyneed
you.
”Hel eavesMshi bestandi
ngl
ikeastatue.
Whatgothi m here?Wel l
,he'saboywithoutaDad.
Hehadt ofigurethisli
fethingonhisown, andhe
hastwol i
tt
legirl
swhoneedhi m.Hehast odo
anyt
hingtomakeal i
ving,evenifi
t’
sworkingwit
h
bl
ood,allhewant sisagoodl i
feforhi
ssister
s.
Hehasn'tdonemuchl at
ely.He'
sjustshadowing
Busi
khaya'sgirl
fr
iendandpoppingont hest
reet
s
ever
ynowandt hen.Buthe'ssti
llscaredtogohome
tohi
ssisters,
Benzi near
lydiedthelastti
mehe
camenearher.Shescreamedandsai
dther
ewas
bloodal
loverhi
sclot
hes.
Theydideverything.Busikhayabroughti
nyanga
thatNgcwethihadr ecommendedandhecl eansed
him.Buthe'
sst il
lscared.Hedoesn'twanttoseehi s
sist
erget
ti
ngl i
ket hatagain.Itwastooscaryto
watchherscreami ngandst ruggl
ingtobreat
helike
shewasseei ngaghost .

-
-

“
Ntobe,
”
Shelooksupandseeshi m standi
ngbythedoor.
Shedidn'
texpecthim atall
.Andwhydoeshelook
l
ikethi
s?He'sthatBusikhayahesawinthehospi
tal
fort
hefir
stti
me.
“
Areyouokay?
”Hewalksi
n,t
akeshi
sjacketof
fand
t
hrowsi
tonthefl
oor
.
“
Yes.Whatbr
ingsyouher
e?”
“
Mycar
.”
Ooookay.Shewat
cheshi
mtakeshi
scl
othesof
f
andcli
mbsonbed.
“
Iloveyou,
”hesays.
“
Random,
butt
hankyou.
”
Heunti
esherrobeandkissesherbreast
s.She
l
ooksathi
mi nconfusi
on.Ishedrunk?Heknows
t
hat90daysisn'
toveryet.
“Whyareyoubei
ngsohar donme?
”Her
ubsher
cheekandst
aresathereyes.
“
Har
d?”sheasks.
“
Depr
ivi
ngmeyourbodyt
opr
oveapoi
nt.
”
“
Yout
hinkI
'
mtr
yingt
opr
oveapoi
nt?
”
“
Areyoudenyi
ngi
t?”
Shekeepsqui
et.Hethrowsthewhol
enippleinsi
de
hi
smout handsepar
atesherlegswi
thhisknee.
“
Busi
khayawhatar
eyoudoi
ng?
”
Hedoesn'tanswer,hegoesuptoherli
psandsucks
t
hem slowly.Herbodyissl
owlybet
rayi
ngher,
his
f
inger
sar edoingagoodtappi
nggameonhercl i
t.
Hef ondl
eshernipplewithonehandandsucksher
l
owerl i
pwhilestari
ngathereyes.She' sstar
tingto
breatheuncont
roll
ably,
hisfingershaveslidinsi
de
herandhe'srubbingherrightplacestenderl
y.
“
You'
resowar
m,”hewhi
sper
sinherear
.
Hebringshi
sfi
ngerst
ohismouthandsuckst
hem.
Hewipesthem of
fandsneakst
hem i
nsi
deher
agai
n.
Shemoansandcallsouthisname.Helooksmore
tur
nedonbythat
.Heget soffherandl
ooksfor
somethi
ngi
nhisjacket
.
Condom!
!!
!!
“NoBusi
khaya!
”Nt
obesaysashersensescr
awl
backi
n.
“
Whatdoyoumean?
”
“
Wear
enothavi
ngsex.
”
Heli
esontopofherwi
ththecondom sl
idbetween
hi
sfi
nger
sandhishardshaftonhert
highs.
Heki
ssesherli
psagain.Sher
espondst
oitf
ora
f
ewsecondsthentur
nsherheadtothesi
de.
“Pl
ease,Ipr
omiseI'
l
lwaitf
oryour90days,
Ionl
y
needthi
sonce.Justonce,
itwon'
tmakeany
dif
fer
ence.”
“
Busikhayadon'
t!
”Shepusheshi
skneeoutofher
t
highs.
“Nt
obepl
easelookatme.”Hel
inkshi
sfor
eheadon
her
sandstar
esathereyes.
“
Iwon'
thur
tyou,
”hesays.
“
Iknow,
I'
mjustnotr
eady.
”
“
Whatdoyouwantmet
odo?
”
“
Getof
fme,
”shesays.
“
How?You'
rej
ustgoi
ngt
opuni
shmel
iket
his?
”
Shepusheshim offandrol
lstot
heot hersi
de.He
l
iesdownonhisf aceandstayssil
ent.Hemustbe
cal
minghimselfdown.Ntobeadjustsherrobeand
pul
lsupthecovers.
Ittakesafewmi nutesforhi
mt odraghi
mselfof
f
bed.Hecol l
ect
shi sclot
hesfrom t
hefl
oorandputs
them backon.
“
You'
rel
eavi
ng?
”Nt
obeasks.
Si
lence.
“
Doyouneedsomet
hingt
oeat
?”
St
il
l,
nor
esponse.
“Butwetal
kedaboutthi
slongti
meagoandyou
agreedt
owaitunti
lbothofusarer
eady.
”
Heput
shisjacketonandheadst
othedoor
.She
j
umpsoffbedandf ol
lowshi
m.
“Sothi
sisi
t?Youdidn'
tcomeher
etoseeme,
you
onlywant
edsex?”sheasks.
“
Yes.
”
Shegasps,
“Justl
iket
hat
?”
“
Yesj
ustl
iket
hatNt
obe.
”
“
Oh,
okay!
”
Shest
opsf
oll
owi
nghi
m.
Het
urnsar
oundandl
ooksatherbr
ief
ly.
“
Keepwel
l,
”hesays.
Nooooo!
!
“
Busi
khaya!
”Sher
unsaf
terhi
m agai
n.
Shegetst
ohi m andgr
abshishands.He'snot
makingasoundbuttearsar
erunningdownhi sface.
There'
snoemot i
onaccompanyi
ngt hem.He'sjust
pl
ainandlooki
ngather.
“I
tcan'tbesex.WhathaveIdone?”Herweaknessis
seeingpeopleunhappy.He'
snotevenacryi
ngtype,
atleastt
hat'swhatshehadinmind,shemust'
ve
hurthim badlyf
oritt
ogettothi
spoint.
“
I'
mjustanexper
imentf
oryou,
right
?”
“
What
???
”Shef
rowns.
“Myhear tpumpsbloodNt obe.I'
m notar ock,
Ihave
feel
ings.Thishide&seekmakesyouf eelgood,r
ight
?
Andt hat
'sallyoucareabout,beingawomanon
charge,andtohellwithmyf eel
ings.
”
“
I'
m notpl
ayi
nganyhi
de&seek,
”shesays.
“Soyouthi
nkI ’
m goingt
ofoll
owyouar oundfor
fucki
n’90days?Youcan'teventel
lmeyoul oveme.
Ihavetobear ockfor90daystoprovethatIcan'
t
breat
hewithoutyou!”
“
That
'snotwhatIsai
dBusi
khaya,
”shesays.
“
WheremustIst
oremyf eel
ingswhi
leyouli
veby
t
hebook’
srul
es?Thisi
snotyourgrandf
ather
’sdi
ck,
i
tget
supanditneedst
obef ed.
”
“Al
right
.”Shenodsherhead.She'spissedbutshe
hasneverbeenthetypethatr
aisesthevoiceat
anyone.Shelet
speoplewalkalloverherandthat
's
exactl
ywhatshewast r
yingtododi f
ferent
ly.
“So,whenarewefucking?Don'
tgi
vemet he90
dayscrap.Youhavesleptwi
thmenwhodi dn'
tgi
ve
adamnaboutyou, andmewho'dgiveyoutheworld
havetowaitmonthstogetit
?No,I
'm notpl
ayi
ng
thi
sgameanymor e.”
“
Alr
ight
,”shesays.
“
Ntobe?
??”
“
Whatdoyouwantmet
osay?
”
“
Tel
lmewhenam If
ucki
ngyou.
”
“Anyti
meyouf eell
ike.
”Sheturnsaroundandl
eaves.
Thisiswhathewant ed,r
ight
?Thenwhyi shenot
fol
lowingherandfuckingherri
ghtaway.
[
11/
19,
09:
53] :Chapt
erThi
rt
y
Zanamuhl
a

**Wear egoingsomewher eaf teryourcl asses**

Thatwast hemessage.Noexpl anati
onor
whatsoever.Heknowst hatIdon' tli
kesur pr
ises.It
's
mid-weekandI 'mi nthemi ddleofmyexams.
Mnothot oldmet ostayfocusedandf or getabout
bathroom sessionsf orawhile.That '
swhatIwas
tr
yingtodount i
lIgotthistext.Icould'vesai dno,
butIdon'tsaynot ohim.Imeant hi
sper soncan
arr
angeal i
ght
ni ngformewi t
hi nminut es,soher eI
am dressingupi nf r
ontofGer t-Johanwho' s
cri
ti
cizingeverythingIputon.
“
Don'
tyouhaveabet
tert
op?
”heragai
n.
“HowdoIlookBontle?”I
t'
sonlyheropini
onthat
wouldmattertome.ShelikeswhatIl
ikeandthi
nks
l
ikeme.Wehaveal otincommonact uall
y,t
hat'
s
besi
derel
igionandpreachingofcour
se.
Vuyi
swacanshoveherst
upi
dopi
nionswher
ethe
sundoesn'
tshi
ne.
“
Itdoesn'
tmat
ch,
”Bont
lesays
Inear l
yaskherwhatsheknowsaboutmat chi
ng,
I
meanshe' swearingapurpledr
essandred
cardiganoveri
t,butIaskedheropi
nionr
ight
?And
she'sdishi
ngitoutfr
esh.
“Comeon,
letmegi
veyouamake-
over
,”Vuyi
swa
says.
“
Whatdoyoumean?
”Iask.
“Si
tdownandr el
ax.
”Shepushesmedownont he
couch,t
akesherphoneoutandcal
lsJul
ani.She
tel
lshi
mt orusht
oourroom wit
hhisequi
pment .
“
Idon'
tevenknowwher
ewear
egoi
ng,
”Isay.
“Surpri
sedat e,duh!Icanalreadyseethefi
ve-
star
hotelhe'
st akingto,yourdinnerwil
lbeser
vedbya
hotMexi canguyandhe' l
lmakesur et
hatyou'
re
comf or
table.Hewi llkeeppoppingint
oaskifyou
don'tneedanyt hing,madam.Maybeheal sohireda
masseusef oryou.”
Ohmygosh, Ihaveonlyseenthoset
ypeofdat
eson
magazi
nes.Vuyiswaisri
ght,Ngcwet
hii
staki
ngme
outonasurpr
isedate.Mybi
rt
hdayi
saroundthe
corner
,whywouldn'
thespoi
lhi
sbel
ovedwife-
to-
be?
ItmakessenseandI'm doi
ngt hismake-overt
hing.I
don'
twanttogoonadat elookingli
keMazwakhe.
Vuyi
swaandJul aniwil
leditmeunt i
lmyl ooks
matchthestandar
dsoff i
ve-starhot
els.
“Whatift
heyf
all
?”I
'
m aski
ngaboutt
hel
ong
eyel
ashes.
“
There'
sagluest
icki
ngt
hem onyourski
n,t
hey
won'
tfal
l.
”
Great
!Ineedtostopblinki
ngl
ikearobotdol
l.I
shoul
dn'tdoanythi
ngthat'
sgoingt
obr i
ngmeextr
a
att
enti
on,peopl
ewillknowthi
sismyf i
rstt
imewit
h
eyel
ashes.
“Yourhandsmustst ayawayf rom yourface,
”Julani
saysslappi
ngt hehandt hatwasattemptingto
scrat
chmyi tchingfor
ehead.Thismi ghtbeharder
thanIthought.Ican’
ttouchmyf ace?
“
Howam Igoi
ngt
oeat
?”Iask.
“
You'
l
leatl
ikeal
ady.For
kthemeatorwhat
ever
you'
l
lbehavingandpushitbet
weenyourteet
h.
Ther
e'snoneedforyout
ogobblefoodwithyour
l
ipsandremovemyexpensiveli
pst
ick,
”hesays.
Vuyi
swacomeswi t
honeofherwi gs.Idon'tt
hinkI
canli
vethisbeaut
ylif
ebuttodayI'
m upf orit
.Ilet
herpushitonmyheadf or
cefull
yandl eaveit
huggi
ngmyshoul ders.
“
It
'scr
eepi
ngonmyski
n,”Isay.
“
It
'swor
thal
lthat
.Lookatyou,
Pear
lModi
adi
e.”
I'
m notsurewhichcel
ebisthat
,butal
lPear
lsar
e
beauti
ful
.IhavenevermetanuglyPearl
.
I
t'
sti
met
ost
andupandst
artwal
kingonhi
ghheel
s.
I'
m notbadasIt hought
.Mykneescanhandlethe
newheight,butImustnotgetcar
ri
edaway,Ihave
tosti
cktotwo-steps-
a-minut
e.
Hecall
sandasksifheshouldcomeupandf et
ch
me.Ofcourseheshouldcome,Idon'
twanthimto
beshockedonthestr
eet.AndIwanttowal
koutof
thebui
ldi
ngwithmyarml i
nkedonhis.
“Zanamuhl
a!”He'
sfrowni
ngbythedoor.Hi
seyes
arejumpi
ngoneveryonel
ikehe'
snotsurewhi
ch
oneisme.
“
Her
e!”Ir
aisemyhandup.
Hefrownsevenmor
e.Hi
swhol
efacei
ssqueezed
up.
“Vuyi
swadi
dyoudot
his?
”Hel
ooksatherandback
atmeagai
n.
“Yes,doyoul
ikei
t?Youhavet
opayf
ormyser
vices
Sir
.”
Hedoesn'
thearanyoft
hat
.He'
sst
ari
ngatmyf
eet
.
“
Areyougoi
ngt
obeokayi
nthoseshoes?
”
He'sunder
mi ningmyKardashi
ansi dethi
sguy!Of
courseI
'm goingtobeokay.I
'm PearlModiadi
efor
goodness’sake!
“
Shal
lwe?
”Iask.
There'
sasmil
eonVuyi
swa'
sface.I
'
m maki
ngmy
gi
rlproud.
“
Pleaset
akeaj
ersey,
itmi
ghtbecol
d.”
Oh,andhi
deVuyiswa'
ssexydr
ess?I
sthatwhat
he'
ssayi
ng?I
'm notbr
ingi
ngadamnjer
sey.
“
Okayfi
ne,
asihambe,
”hesayswhenher eal
izes
t
hatI
'
m notbudgi
ngonthejer
seysuggesti
on.
Well
,wearenotl
eavi
ngar
m-to-
arm becausehe
di
dn'
tgetHowToBeAGent l
emancl asses.
I'
mt urni
ngheads, everyoneisl
ookingatt hisnew
Zanamuhl a,excepthim.He'swalkingstr
ai ghtt
othe
parkingwithoutcheckingifI
'm okaybehindhi m.
“Where'
sthecar
?”Iaskwhenhest
opsnextt
othe
van.
“
Thi
sist
hecar
,”hesays.
“
Avan?
??”
Hi
seyesgot
omyshoest
hent
omyf
ace.
“Theseshoesarechangi
ngyou.Si
ncewhendoyou
careaboutcar
s?”
“
Ial
wayscar
e,”Isay.
“
Howmanycar
sdoIhave?
”
Ohwel
l,
Idon'
tknow.Hecomesi
ndi
ff
erentcar
s
andt
heyal
waysdr
iveeachot
her
'scar
s.
“Youaref
ullofsurpr
isest
oday!”Hechuckl
esand
shakeshi
sheadt henopensthevandoorforme.
Myf atherownedonecaranditwasavan.He
hardlygavemeal i
ft,
mywhol eli
fehasbeeni nand
outofr anksandt
ravell
ingbyt
axis.ButtodayI'
m
l
ooki ngdownonavanbecauseofbor r
owedhi gh
heels?Lifehasnobalance!
“
Lookatme,”hesaysaf
terset
tl
ingonhi
sseatand
f
ast
eningt
hebelt.
“
Doyoul
iket
henewme?
”Iask.
“
Areyoual
waysgoi
ngt
obel
iket
his?
”
Whydoesitsoundl
ikehehat
esi
twhenI
'
m
beaut
if
ul?
“
No,
Ionl
ydi
dthi
sbecauset
odaywi
llbespeci
al.
”
“
Speci
al?How?
”
“
Goi
ngoutwi
thyoui
sspeci
alt
ome.
”
Hest
il
ldoesn'
tgeti
tandIdon'
texpecthi
mto.
“
So,
am Ial
lowedt
oki
ssyou?
”
Idi
dn'
tremovemyl
ips,
didI
?Igooverhi
m andpeck
hi
sli
ps.
“
Iwantar
ealki
ss,
”hesays.
“
Whataboutmyl
ipst
ick?
”Heneedst
obeser
ious!
“ZanamuhlaIhaven'
tseenyousincet
heweekend.
”
Her eachest
otheboxofservi
ett
esandtakesone
pieceout.
Hegr
absmyneckandwi
pesal
lmyl
ipst
ickof
f.
“
Ngcwet
hi!
”I'
m appal
led.
“
Comeher
e.”
JesusChr
ist
!Noooo.
“
Mydr
awneyebr
ows!
”Iscr
eam.
Hest
opsandf
rowns.
“
You'
l
lremovemyeyebr
ows,
”Isay.
“
FuckZanamuhl
a!”
Ihat
eitwhenhecurses.Itdoesn'
tsuithi
mifhe'
s
notdoi
ngitonbed.Hewr apshishandsaroundmy
neckandbri
ngsmecl oserfort
hekiss.
It'
shardformetoconcent
rat
ebecauseallI
'
m
thinki
ngabouti
s,whati
foneofmyeyelashesfal
l?I
don'tknowhowmucht heycost
,Vuyi
swawi l
lki
ll
me.
“
Mybedi
scol
dwi
thoutyouZano.
”
“
Youmi
ssmet
hatmuch?
”Igr
inpr
oudl
y.
“
Yes,
youandher
.”
Moodki
ll
er!
“
NotnowNgcwethi
.Wear einacar
,inpubl
ic,
and
I
'
m wear
ingat
ightdress,
”Isay.
“
But
……….
”
“
NoNgcwet
hi,
dri
ve!
”
He' sunbel
ievabl
e!I
'm st
art
ingtothi
nkthi
swhole
thingwaspl annedsothathecansleepwithme.I
havenopr oblem wit
hhimlustingoverme,but
takingmydr essoutforhi
m beforepeopl
eevensee
me?No, maybehe'l
lhaveitlat
er.

Ar
ewenotsupposedt
oheadt
otown?What
'st
his
dustyroadhe'
staki
ng?Ther
ear
enof
ive-
starhot
els
thi
sside.
Ist
areathi
m wi
thmyeyebr
owl
if
ted.
“
Yini
?”He'
snoti
nagoodmood.
Ican'
tbel
ievehe'
sangr
yovermypr
ivat
eor
gan!
“I
'
mj ustl
ooki
ngatyouandwonder
ingwhywear
e
headi
ngthisway,
”Isay.
“
Ungi
gabhi
lewena.
"
PoorMaMbonambi ’sson.Letmet akeoffmydress,
ruinmymake- upwhi l
eatit,
andopenmyl egswide
forhi
m.I '
m goingtodieifhestaysangryatme!His
sexualneedsar et
hatimportant.Moreimport
ant
thanmyeyebr ows!

He'
sdrivi
ngar
oundatal
lfence,
Ican'
tseeany
bui
ldi
ngbehi
ndthef
ence.
“
Wher
ear
ewe?
”Iask.
“
John'
sfar
m.”
Whatt
hef
uckar
ewedoi
ngi
nJohn'
sfar
m?Whoi
s
John?
“
Areyoul
ost
?”Iask.
“
No,
I'
mfet
chi
ngt
hegoat
sweor
der
ed.
”
Ishetryi
ngt
ogi
vemeaheartat
tack?Howdoes
order
edgoat
sconcer
nmeandmymake- up?
“
Andwhyam Iher
e?”Iask.
“
Iaskedyoutoaccompanymeafteryourcl
asses.
I
t'
salongjour
neytodri
veal
one.
”
Br
eat
hei
nZanamuhl
a!Out
!
“
What
???
”
“Hehelpedmyf atherstar
thisownf arm.Hegrew
uphere,att
endedschoolher eandjoinedhi
s
fat
her'
sfarm.Evenhi swifeisfrom t
he
nei
ghbouringfarm,he'sneverleftt
hispl
ace.Can
youimagine?”
“
CanIi
magi
newhat
?”Isnap.
I
'
m pi
ssed.
“
John'
sli
fe,
”hesays.
WhoisJohn?Whyt hef
uckwoul
dIimagi
neJohn'
s
l
if
eandnotimaginemyownthati
sful
lofl
iesand
empt
ypromises?
“That
'sRay,hi
sson.”He'
spoi
nti
ngatt
heboy
weari
ngkhakishort
sandopeni
ngthest
eelgat
efor
ouruglyvantodr
ivein.
RayspeaksAf r
ikaans,whichisn'
tst
range,he'
s
whiteandhisfatherisafarmer.Whatshocksmei s
myownNgcwet hitalki
ngAfri
kaansback.Idon'tgo
beyond‘boerwors'andI'
m abouttofi
nishacourse
i
ncol l
ege.Andhe'shavingawhol econver
sati
on,
notevenstutt
eri
ng!
Rayputshi
st humbupanddi
sappear
s.Ngcwet
hi'
s
smil
eissti
llon.
“
He'
scr
azy.
”Heshakeshi
shead.
“
Whatdi
dhesay?”I
'
m sti
llangr
yathi
m, butIwant
t
oknowwhatmakesJohn'ssoncr
azy.
“
Hisgirl
fr
iendi
spregnantandshe'
shere,buthis
f
atherdoesn'
tknow.Ontopofthat
,she'
sEnglish.
”
“
She'
sEngl
ish?Ar
en'
ttheyEngl
isht
oo?
”
“
No,t
hey'
reAf
rikaaners.Hi
sfat
herdi
dn'
twantt
hem
t
odat
eoutoftheirt
ribe.
”
Hol
donasecond,
whi
tepeopl
ehavet
ri
bes?
“
They'
real
lwhi
te,
ther
e'snodi
ff
erencemos,
”Isay.
“
You'
real
sobl
ackandyou'
renotXhosa.
”
Stupi
dcompar ison!Whit
epeopl
ear
eal
lwhi
te,
and
they'
reEngl
ish.Alloft
hem.
“
Areyougoi
ngt
ohel
pme?
”
“
Hel
pyouwi
thwhat
?”Iask.
“
Get
ti
ngt
hegoat
sinsi
det
hevan.
”
Thi
sguydoesn'
tseeme!Notevenwhenhel ooksat
methr
oughthemirr
ors.Hel
pgett
ingthegoats
i
nsi
dethevan?Whatam I?Ali
tt
legoat-
keeper
?
“
Youknowt
hey'
repar
tofi
zibi
zo,
right
?”
Oh,thatIdi
dn'
tknow.Buti
tmakesnodif
fer
ence,
Mazwakhewon'tevengetoneoft
hosegoat
s,soI'
m
nothelpi
ng.Iwi
shhecanchoosethet
hinones.
“
You'
l
lfi
ndmeher
e,”It
ellhi
m.
“
No,
comei
nsi
deandgr
eetMar
ia.
”
Gr
eetheri
nAf
ri
kaans?
!
“
No,
I'
m notgr
eet
ingMar
ia.
”
Hechuckl
esandpecksmyl
ips.
“Todayyou'
readr
amaqueen. ”Heopenshisdoor
andcli
mbsoutofthecar.Anotherwhi
teboycomes
tohim andt
heydi
sappearbehindthebui
ldi
ng.
I'
mr eal
lyslow.Whydidn'tIf
igur
ethi
soutwhenI
sawt hevan?Itwasobviousthatweweren'
tgoi
ng
tothefive-
starhot
el.
DoIneedt
okeepthesehighheel
son?I
t'
snotl
ike
t
hegoatswi
llbewowed.Isnat
chthewi
goffaswell
.

Theyloadthreegoat
satthebackoft hevan.John
i
sat al
lwhitemanwi t
haballoontummy.Hewear s
shor
tsandhar dboot
s.He'sbald.I
t'
sr ar
eformeto
seeawhitebaldman, soI
'mtakingthisasasign.
“
Hello,nj
ani
?”He'
stal
kingt
omet
hrought
he
window.
Iusuall
ygoga-
gaoverwhit epeopl
ewhospeak
brokenZul
u.If
indthem cl
everfort
ryi
ngour
l
anguage,andIdon'
tgivethesameaffect
iont
othe
ZuluoneswhotryEngl
ish.
ButnottodayJohn.TodayI
'
m noti
nagoodmood
dearJohn.
“
Ngi
yaphi
la,
ngi
ngezwakuwe?
”
Hesmi l
es.Ikeepmyeyesonhim.Hemusttalk.He
st
art
edmeonZul ubecausehet
houghtEngl
ishisn'
t
mything.
“
She'
saski
nghowar
eyou,
”Ngcwet
hi.
I
sheat ransl
atornow?Wheredidheobtai
nhi
s
l
ingui
sti
cdegree?Thisguykeepsannoyi
ngme
t
oday.
“
Siyaphi
la.I
langa!
”Johnwi
thZul
uagai
n.
“Ungidlul
isel
eumkhonzoemndenini
.”Iwantt
o
spiceitupwi t
hizaganezi
sho,
butnonearecomi
ng
athand.
Hesmil
esagai
nandnodshi
shead.Hi
seyesar
e
cl
uel
essAF.
Ngcwethir
ubshischi
nanddoesn'
ttr
ansl
atet
his
ti
me.Hisancest
orsar
eprot
ect
inghim.He'
s
annoyedmeenoughfort
heday.

“
You'
remoodyt
oday.Whathappened?
”
Wear edri
vingbackwi
tht
hegoat
sandI '
m st
ari
ng
out
sidethewi ndowwi
thmyar
msf ol
ded.
“Youtookmet
oaf
arm Ngcwet
hi!Idr
essedupf
or
nothi
ng.”
“Idi
dn'
taskyout
odr
essl
iket
his.Youcal
ledi
ta
NEW LOOK.”
He'
slaughi
ng.Al
lthi
sisf
unnyt
ohi
m.
“
IthoughtIwasgoi
ngt
oaf
ive-
starhot
el,
”Isay.
“
Awww.Whowast
aki
ngyout
her
e?”
HeisonTrevorNoah’
slevelnow.Ver
yfunny.He
j
ustneedstheri
ghtaudi
ence.
“
Zanamuhl
a?You'
renott
alki
ngt
omenow?
”
“
Whoel
seNgcwet
hi?Vuyiswasai
dyoucouldbe
t
aki
ngmeoutonasur
prisedat
eandIdressedup
l
iket
his.
”
Youknowwhat
,fuckt
heseeyel
ashest
oo!
He'sgoingt
olosecontr
olonthewheel
.Tear
sare
rol
li
ngdownhisface,he'
slaughi
ngt
othepointof
passingout
.
I'
m sti
lldeci
dingont
hesi
lentper
iodI'
m goingt
o
givehi
m.Twoweeks?Onemont h?Forever
?
“Whatt
hehel
liswrongwit
hMazwakhe' sgir
lf
ri
end?
Whatmadeherthi
nkIwast aki
ngyououtonadat e?
Toawhat-
whatstarhot
elIdon'tevenknow!
”
“Youcould'
vetol
dmet
hatwewer
egoi
ngt
ofet
ch
goats,
”Isay.
“Idi
dn'tgi
veyouanyideas.Ijustaskedyoutogo
somewher ewi
thmeaf t
eryourcl asses.Hot
el?That
Inevermenti
oned.”Hestopst hevanatthesideof
theroad.Hebreaksi
ntolaughterwheneveroureyes
meet.
“
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”Iask.
“
Topee.
”
Typi
calvandr
iver
!
IfIknewhowt odri
veIwoul
d'vej
umpedtothe
driver
'sseatwhi
lehe'
sst
andi
ngther
eanddr ove
away.Hewoul d'
veusedhi
sbigheadtof
igureout
howhe' dgethome.
“
Canyouseehowqui
ett
hisr
oadi
s?”
Ishrugmyshoul der
s.Iwi
shhewasquietast
he
road.HaveItol
dyouabouthi
suglyvoi
ce?Oneof
thesedayshe'l
ldamagemyeardr
ums.
“
Whatdoyout
hink?
”heasks.
“
About
?”If
rown.
“
Havi
ngaqui
cki
e.”
Aft
erlaughi
ngatmehet
hinkshehasachancet
o
i
nserthisdi
cki
nsi
deme!He'sf
ullofj
okes.
“
Star
tthecarwheneveryou'
rer
eady,
”Isayandshi
ft
myeyesoutsi
dethewindowagain.
“
Zol
wandl
elookatme,
”hesays.
Thisnamedoesthi
ngsIcan'
texplai
n,especi
all
y
whenit'
shi
m cal
li
ngit
.Justl
ikethat
,Iturnandlook
athim.
“
Ineedyou,
”hesays.
Idr
awi
nandexhal
e.
“Youdon'
thavetodoanyt
hing.
”Hekissesmychin
andmysmi l
ebreakswi
thoutmymind'sconsent
.
“
I'
lldoal
lthewor
k.Al
lyouneedt
odoi
sopenher
f
orme,”hesays.
Hishandli
ftsupthedress.Hemassagesmyt
highs
andli
ft
sitfurt
herup.
“
ButIhat
eyou,
”Isay.
“Doyouhatehim aswel
l?
”Heshowsmehi
s
poi
ntedf
ront.
I
'
m normall
yagoodper son,
Ican'
that
emany
t
hingsal
latonce.Oneatatime.
“
No,
”Isay.
“
I'
llbuyyouaf
ive-
starhot
eli
fyouf
eedhi
m.”
“
I'
m notapr
ost
it
ute!
”Isay.
Thinki
ngisnothisbiggestexer
cise.Hejustwait
s
forwhateverhi
slef
tbrainfeedshim andtalk.
“
Okaysor
ry.Pl
easel
eanont
heseatandr
elaxyour
l
egs.
”
Idoast ol
d.Thedressr
efusest
omovepastmyhip.
HeforcesitupandIhearsomethi
ngatt
heback
tear
ing.
“Ngcwethit
hisisnotmydr ess!”Vuyi
swaisgoingt
o
kil
lme.InZulutheysayi
ntoyomunt uumhluzi
wempi si
.NowIhaveadr esst opay.Idon'
teven
borrowpeople'
sclot
hes,
shef or cedt
hisonme.
Di
dthi
smanhearwhatIsai
d?Het
oresomeone'
s
dr
ess!
“
Ngcwet
hiyout
ore…….
”
“Waitunt
ilIt
eart
hiscooki
eapar
t.Li
ftupyour
knee.”
I
'm notsur
ewhetherI
'
mturnedonorannoyed.I
t
maybebot hatt
hesameti
me.
“Ther
e'snospacebabe.Let'
sgooutofthecar
,
nobodywil
lseeus.Ipromise,
”hesays.
“
Hhayi
-boNgcwet
hi!
”
He'
soutofhi
sdoorandr
ushi
ngar
oundt
omysi
de.
Thisi
sgoi
ngtobeagoodmess,bot
hhavi
ngsexon
thequi
etr
oadandhavi
ngmyfr
iend'
sdr
esstor
n.
Heasksmet oli
eontheseatwit
hmylegsout.
Rightnowhedoesn'tcar
eaboutthedr
essatal
l.I
t
keepsteari
ngandhekeepsstret
chi
ngitt
ohavemy
thi
ghsallout.
“Whatifoneoft
hefar
mersdri
vepast?”I
'
m nervous.
Thelastthi
ngIneedi
stot
rendforasexscandal.
Hepul
lsmyl
egsoneithersi
deofhi
swai
standr
ubs
mymoundwit
hhisshaft.
“
Bef
ast
,”Isay.
Ihavenot
imef
orhi
steasi
nggames.Nott
oday.
“
Tel
lmei
fyouwantmet
osl
owdown,
”hesays.
“
Okay.
”Inodmyhead.
Hepushesi
nslowl
y,oncehefi
tsper
fect
lyi
nsi
dehe
l
etsgoofmylegsandwrapshi
shandsundermy
waist
.
It
'samarat
hon.Iwanthi
mtoslowdown, Ididn'
t
knowhemeantitwhenhesaidhe'
l
ltearmeapar t
l
ikethedr
ess,
buthispacei
sgoodundert he
ci
rcumst
ances.

-
-

I'
m wearinghisjacketbecausethebackoft
he
dressistornapart.Idon'
tknowhowI '
m goi
ngtot
ell
Vuyiswayet.Shehasal otofdr
essesandshe
valueseachandever yoft hem.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasks.
“
Yes,
”Isay.
“
Nopai
n?”
Hel
ookswor
ri
ed.
“
Justal
it
tl
e,
”Isay.
Hegr absmyneckandki ssesme.Iknowhim when
he'sgetti
ngt ur
nedon.Weareoutsi
dethebuil
ding
now, there'
snothi
ngIcandotohelphimifhegets
turnedon.Myf ell
owstudent
shavebinocul
arsin
theireyes.
“
Youknowt
hatIl
oveandr
espectyou,
right
?”
“
YesIdo,
”Isay.
“
Thankyou.
”
Hel
ooksr
eli
evedbymyanswer
.
“
Ineedsomemoney,
”Isay.
Hefr
owns.Thisi
sthefir
stt
imeI'
m aski
nghi
m
money.Theonl
ypersonIbot
heri
sMazwakhe.
“
Oh,
okay.CanIaskwhyyouneedmoney?
”
“Todomyt hi
ngs.
”That'sal
lIcancomeupwi t
h.I
didn'
texpecthimtoaskquestions.Imeanhe's
l
oaded,hehi r
espeopletobemyf r
iends,
hemi ght
aswelljustspl
ashitaroundwithnoquestions
asked.
“
Howmuch?
”heasks.
Thi
sist
hequest
ionIwantt
ohear
.
“
R500,
”Isay.
“
Okay,
Iwi
llmakeat
ransf
er.
”
Musi
ctomyears!Il
eanoverandki
sshi
sli
ps.My
ownATM wi
tht
wof eet
!
“
You'
l
lgetyourj
acketi
nthenextl
if
e,”Isay.
“
Nextl
if
e?”
“
Bye!
”
Ibl
owhim aki ssandclosethedoor.Ihavedecided,
Iwon'
ttellVuyiswaaboutthedress.I
'l
lhaveitsewn
i
ntowndur ingtheweekend.Ijusthavetosneakin
wit
houtthem seeingmeandhi deitsomewher e.
Thedevi
lisnotal
iar
!Guesswho'
swai
ti
ngf
orme
onthecouch?
“Andthen?”Sheget
suponherf eetandfrowns.I
l
eftthi
splaceasPearlModiadi
eandnowI 'm
comingbackasPatshutshu.Ihavet heshoesand
wiginmyhand.Idon'tneedami rrortoknowthatI
l
ookl i
keamess.
Myphonebeeps.Istopherwit
hahandandcheck
themessagefi
rst
.Anywayshemightneedagl
ass
ofwinet
odigestt
oday'sepi
sode.
I
t'
smymoneywi
thanext
razer
o.
“
Whyar
eyousmi
li
ng?
”sheasks.
“
Lif
eisgoodVuyi
swa.
”It
hrowever
ythi
ngIhadi
n
myhandont
hecouch.
Moneymakesmefeel
hot.It
aket
hestupi
djacket
of
fandthr
owitont
hecouchaswell
.
“Dowehavejui
ceint
hishome?
”Iasktur
ning
aroundandmaki
ngmywayt ot
hekit
chen.
“
Bit
chwhatdi
dyoudot
omydr
ess?
”
OhHel
lNo!
!!
!
[
11/
19,
09:
53] :Chapt
erThi
rt
y-One

Mnot howalksinandl ooksathisbrotherswitha

frownonhi sface.Whyhavet heycalledhim here?
Meet i
ngsthathappenatt hi
stimeoft hedayar e
usuallynotgoodones.Hopef ull
ytheyar enot
planningtokil
lanyone.Mazwakhebei ngapartof
theMt hembusmeanst hey’
relessli
kelytoget
i
nvolvedinrandom fights.
He’salsoher
ewit
hthem,wear
inghi
sover
allonone
shoul
der.Vuyi
swaneedst
odosomethi
ngabouthis
wardrobe.
“
Sit
,”Busi
khayat
ell
shi
m.
Hegr
absaseatandl
ooksatt
hem cur
iousl
y.
“
Whoar
eweki
ll
ing?
”heasks.
Noneoft
hem getthejoke,
theyj
ustl
ookathi
m wi
th
f
aceshecannotread.
“
Isever
ythi
ngal
ri
ght
?”heasks.
“Wefoundherbutshei
snott
heKhwezi
youknow,
”
Busi
khayasays.
Theworl
dcomestoastopf
orasecond.Theyf
ound
her
?Didheheart
henamecorr
ect
ly?
“YoufoundKhwezi ?”Hishearti
sbeatingoffhi
s
chest
.Heneverdoubt edf orasecondthatshewas
ali
ve,butheari
ngitandconf i
rmingwhathisheart
hasknownal lal
onggi veshimthousandfeeli
ngsall
atonce.Sheisali
ve!Hi sKhweziisnotdead.
“Shewasmar r
iedofftoi
nyangai
nNgudwini.Heis
notal
iveanymore,hepassedonandl
eftherwit
h
hismotherandson.”
“Whomarr
iedherof
f?”Hi
sveinsar
epulsati
ng.He
knewsomethi
nghadhappenedtoherbutnot
MARRI AGE.Shewasachi l
dforcryi
ngoutloud!
“Bhekani,andshe’
sgr
atef
ul.Shesai
ditwasf ort
he
best.I
tlookedli
kesomescrewsarelooseupstai
rs,
”
Busikhaya.
“No,t
heydi dsomethingtohersanit
y.She
remembersyou, sheevennamedhersonaf t
eryou,
butsomethingaboutt hewaysheviewslif
ehas
changed.Allshewant stodoi
sl ookaf
terher
motherin-
lawandt akecareoftherondavel
s,”
Ngcwethiexplai
ns.

“Didyoukil
ltheBhekani?
”
Hisquesti
onsendst hei
reyeswide.Isthatal
lhe
heard?Asonofast upidnyangathatabusedhis
wifeorwhateverhecall
sherinhismi nd,i
susing
hisname!Heshouldbeshocked, that’
swhatthey
expected.
“I
t’
shisfamilythatshoul
dhandlethi
smatter
.The
fi
rstt
hingyoushoul ddoisgomeetheratEshowe,
t
henaf t
ertal
kingtoheryou’l
lknowwhattodo.
Kil
li
ngthebloodyunclemaycausemor eri
valr
ies
forusandmakeherhat eyou.Inthest
ateshei
sin
ri
ghtnowsheadoresBhekani ,
youdon’twantt
oget
onherwrongside,shesti
lll
ovesyou.”
“Heisnotseei
ngthenextsunrise,
”hesaysand
getsuponhisfeet
.
“
Mnot
ho!
”
“
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?Thi
nkaboutt
his.
”
Theyexpectedhi mtobeangr y.Buttheydidn’tthi
nk
he’dgofaraspr oposingtoki
llBhekani.Thi
si sn’t
somethingtobehar shlyact
edon.Theymi ghtneed
Bhekaniinthelongr un,t
hat
’swhatNgcwet hitol
d
them,heneedst oseei fhecanhelpKhwezigai n
hersensesback.Bhekaniknowswhatwasdone, he
knowsexact l
ywhi chknotsweretiedandwhi ch
powderswer emi xedandinsert
edi nherbody.He
cannothelpthem ifheisdeadandKhwezist il
l
needstoseehi mf orwhohei s.
Byt heti
met heywalkoutt
olookforMnothoheis
nowher etobeseen.Mndenigoestohisr
oom and
fi
ndst hesandalshewaswearingthr
ownont he
carpetnexttobed.
Hechangedhi
sshoes?Theyneedt
ohurr
yt ot
he
Ndl
ovuhomesteadbef
orehedoessomet
hinghe’
l
l
r
egret
.
“
He’
sgone,
”het
ell
sthem.
“Weneedt ostophi
m befor
ehedoessomet
hing
stupi
d,”Busi
khayasays.

Mazwakhest
ret
cheshi
sar
msandyawns.
“Countmeout ,I’
m goingtosleep.”
Tohi m Mnothoisagr ownman, theycannotpol
ice
howhe’ sfeel
ingandhowhehandl esthi
ngsthat
personall
yaffecthisheart
.Ifhewantstokil
l
Bhekanisobei t,t
heywillgodigthegraveandeat
salads.
“Isaidwewer egoingtot heNdlovus.Nobodyis
goingtosleep,
”Busikhayasays.Nobodygoes
againsthisword,exceptNgcwet hibecausehe’
s
alwaysancestralri
ght.Thist
hingofMazwakhe
doingthingshisownwayanddef yi
nghim ever
y
chanceheget sisstarti
ngtoannoyhi m.
“IguessI
’m nobodybecausesleepi
ngiswhatI
’m
goingtodorightnow.”Mazwakhewhistl
esand
goesbackinsidethehouse.
“Go,
I’
m comingj
ustnow,
”Busi
khayat
ell
sNgcwet
hi
andMndeni.
Theyknowwhat’
sabouttogodownbutt oday
Mnot hoi
smorei
mpor t
antthanthest
upidbrot
her
s’
fi
ghts.Theyr
unoutoftheyardandheadtothe
Ndlovus.

Hepushest hedoorandf i
ndsMazwakhetaki
nghis
vestoff
,theover
allisonhiswai
stwit
hit
sar mst
ied
around.Hedoesn’tcarr
ythegunar
oundbutit
alwayscomesoutwhenheneedst ouseit.
“
Youwi
llcomenaked?
”Busi
khaya.
“
Isai
dI’
m notcomi
ng,
Idi
dn’
tspeakFr
ench.
”
“
HeyBaba!”Busikhayagr
abshi
sar
m andf
orcef
ull
y
t
urnshi
m around.
Thedevi
linMazwakheunleashes.He’
sbeen
thi
nki
ngalotl
atel
y,abouthi
sfutureandhowhei
s
goingt ostandonhi sownf eetagain.Asmuchas
beingatt heMt hembushasbeengoodand
everyonet reatedhi ml i
kefamily,hest il
lfearsbeing
dependentonanyone.Hei sdonet akingoverot her
people,thingschange, hiddensecr etscomeout ,
nowhewant stobui l
dhisownl egacyf rom scratch.
Butit’ssuchat oughdeci siontomake, hehas
foundsomeone, shei sfull
ybasedher ei nthe
vil
lage.Hecan’ tjustupandl eave,shewi llbeangry
andt heirthingjustst ar
ted.
Butheneedst omanupf orher.Vuyi swaisthe
50/50typeofagi rlwhowantt ohaveanequalr ol
e
wit
hamani nar elati
onshi p,never t
helesstheman
muststil
lmai ntainher .Heal sohasason, heloves
bei
ngar oundhi m event hought heydon' tt
alkthat
much.Hewant shimt ohaveabr ightfutur
e,hehas
toworkhar dforhi m.Thel astthingheneedsi s
someonet opi sshi m off.EspeciallyBusikhaya,they
wil
ljustki
lleachot her.
“GetoutBusikhaya,
”hewar
nsandr
emoveshi
s
handsoffhisshoulder
s.
“
Youwantmet
odr
agyououtoft
hisr
oom by
bal
ls?
”
Theyhavenottest
edeachotheri
nal
ongtime.One
ofthem musthavedevel
opednewmuscl
es.
Busi
khayacl
osest
hedoorandl
ocksi
t.
Af i
stwel comeshisfaceback.Thefi
ghtisnothing
theyhavedonebef or
e.Nooneisshoutingand
cursing.Therearenogunsoranyf orm ofweapon.
It’
sjustthem, f
istt
ofisti
nalockedroom.Therei s
nosound, MaMbonambii squi
etl
ywatchingher
favourit
egospel showinherbedroom wit
hnoi dea
ofwhat '
sgoi ngoninherhome.
.
.
MNOTHO

Hehasneverki ll
edoneononebef ore.Hedoesn’
t
findahobbyi ntakingal
if
eal i
fe,butheneverhada
pr obl
em spi
ll
ingbloodoftheenemi es.Busi
khaya
taughthim howt ocockagunandwher etoaimif
youwantt okill
.Ifhehaseverkil
ledbeforei
twas
fr
om adist
ance,heaimed,shotandl
eft.Buttoni
ght
hewantstobeclose.Hewant st
opersonall
y
separ
ateBhekani’
sbodyandsoul.Hewi l
ldoit
sl
owlyandwatchbl oodr
unningdownhi ssl
itthr
oat
.
“Ialr
eadytoldyourbrot
herswher esheis,
”Bhekani
says.Hiswrist
saretiedtogetherbehi
ndhim He’s
beingforcef
ull
ytakentotheriver.Hei
snof ool,
he
knowswhatt heseboysar ecapableof,
thi
sr i
ver
visi
twon’tbeapleasantone.
“Yousaidshedr ownedanddied.Whoi safool
Bhekani?Yout hi
nkdrowningisajoke?Iwantyou
toexperiencewhatdrowningi
s,whenyougett o
hellyou’
llknowbett
erthantojokeaboutdrowni
ng.”
“Son,I’
m beggingyou.Icanpaybackilobol
amoney
andbr i
ngherbackhome. ”
Mnothochuckles.Ther ei
sat hunderoussound,
Bhekanicr
iesoutashi scheekst i
ngslikesomeone
j
ustthrewabrickoni t.Hehasneverbeensl apped
byayoungboy, letalonebeingslappedsohar dthat
hewentblankforaf ewseconds. “One
morestupi
dof f
erf r
om yourmout handI ’
m goingto
makeyoudr i
nkpet rolandli
ghtyoual i
ve,”Mnotho
says.
Therei
ssomeco-operat
ionunti
ltheygett
otheri
ver
.
Mnothotear
shisclot
hesoffwi
thapocketknif
eand
askshi
mt ojumpinsi
detheri
ver.
“
I’
mfr
eezi
ng,
”Bhekanicr
iesoutandst
epsback.
“
Whatareyou?Achicken.Geti
nsi
det
her
iver
Madal
a,don’
twast
emyt i
me.”
“
Ndodanapl
easet
hink……….
”
Heshoveshisasswi
thhisf
ootandwatchesashe
f
ail
stobalanceont
herockandfal
lsi
nsidet
he
wat
er.
Ther
eisanotherhugespl
ashofwat
erasMnot
ho
j
umpsinafterhim.
Hepresseshi
sneckunderthewaterf
oracoupleof
minut
esthenpull
shim up.Whenhe’
sstart
ingto
gai
nbackhisbreat
hheshoveshim underwater
agai
n.[
.
.
BACKATTHENDLOVUHOMESTEAD

Mndenisi tsonthebench.I nfrontofhimisa

parafff
inl ampt hat’
sburninglowandNgcwet hi
standingnextt oit.Hepr ef
ersbeingonhi sfeett
han
tosit
.Somet hi
ngsj ustdon’
taccommodat eMr
Ancest ors,li
kethewoodenbenchMndenii s
comf ortableonandt heoldmat t
ressthatl
ookslike
anestofcockr oaches.
“WhyisBusi
khayanother
e?Hesai
dhewas
coming,
nowwehavet oburnt
hebodyal
one,
”
Mndenicomplai
ns.
“
Whatbodyar
eweburni
ng?
”Ngcwet
hienqui
res
wit
hhi
sfor
eheadf
urr
owed.
“Obvi
ouslyhe’
sdead,Mnothodon’thaveahear
t.I
wouldn’
tbesurpr
isedifhecuthisdi
ckandfedhim
befor
ehesenthimt ohisancest
ors.
”
“Nohei snotdead,
Mnot
howouldn’
tjustki
llhi
m so
quickl
y.Heissomewher
etor
tur
inghi
m, ”Ngcwethi
says.
“
Busi
khayaneedstocome.Iwoul
dn’
tbesur
pri
sed
i
fhewenttoNtobetobegf
orpussyi
nst
ead.
”
Theybot hl
augh.It
’sfunnytowat chsomeone
dri
vingtheMightyBusikhayacrazy.Healways
pretendedtobeont opofthi
ngs,control
li
ng
everyoneandstandingbyhiswor d.Butthi
sgi
rlj
ust
provedtothem howweakheact uall
yis.

Themomenti sdi
sturbedbythedooropeni
ng.A
mancoughingisthrowninsi
de.Hefal
lsandli
eson
thef
loornextt
oMndeni ’
sfeet
.
He’
sonhi sbi
rt
hsuit
.Mndenipeeksbet
weenhis
l
egs,he’
snotsurei
fthi
smanhasapeni sornot
.
“
Whathappenedt
ohi
sdi
ck?
”
“Fi
shtail
?Itwentbackt
ohi sst
omach,notbig
enoughtostandupagainstcol
dweather
,”Mnotho
saysmakinghiswayinwithBhekani
’
sclothesin
hishands.
“
Whatdi
dyoudot
ohi
m?”Ngcwet
hiasks.
“
Wewentf
oraswi
m,”Mnot
hosays.
“Oh,
okay.Weneedt
otakehi
mtot
hest
orer
oom f
or
now.”
“
No,
thi
sdogdoesn’
tdeser
vet
oli
ve.
”
“IknowJama,butweneedhi mf ornow.Youhavea
chancetogetKhweziback,i
nhert r
uestfor
m,and
hecouldbeourhel
pindoi ngthat.
”
Thatseemst ocalm hi
m down, butitdoesn’
tstop
himf r
om punchingBhekani'
sfacer epeat
edly.
Mndenii shavi
ngat i
meofhi sl
ife,hehasn’t
watchedwr est
li
nginawhi l
e,hef oundoutthat
everyt
hingisscri
ptedandstopped, butseei
nghis
brot
herpunchingthisol
dmanr emi ndshim of
MondayNi ghtRaw.
Ngcwethiwi
thhisbori
ngtendenci
espull
sMnotho
backandaskshimtostop.IfBusi
khayawaswi
th
them hewoul
d’veal
lowedittogoon.Hehasa
senseofhumour.
.
.
Theyt
akeBhekanit
othef
arm st
orer
oom andl
ock
himinside.I
t’
saround00: 30midni
ghtwhent hey
getbackhome.Busi khayadidn’
tkeephisword.He
i
snotinhi sroom ei
ther,t
hismakesMndeni ’
s
suspi
cionstrue.Heleftt
hem inastickysi
tuati
onto
gobegf orsex.
Mndenideci
destogosleepwi
thMnotho.Hewants
tomakesureheisokayandhedoesn'
tsneakoutt
o
gofi
nishBhekaniof
f.
Ngcwet
hiheadstohi
sownbedroom.Di
dhef
orget
t
oturnt
helightof
fwhenhel
eft
?
Thedoorisnotlocked.Ther
eisafamil
iarscentt
hat
causeshi
shearttoleap.Hewalksinsl
owly,
convi
ncedthathe’snotmakingasound.
Hetipt
oesinsidet
hebedroom andtakeshisboots
off
.Hewi l
lfi
gureoutwhathe’
sgoingtotellheri
n
themorning.Hecansayhewentt ohisuncle’
s
houseforanemergency.
“Whereareyoucomi ngf
rom?HelpGodandanswer
tr
uthf
ull
y,becauseGodwillhavet
oputhi
sli
feon
holdt
osaveyoui fyoudareli
etome!
”
Shehadhereyescl
osed.Hei
ssur
eofi
t,hesawher
.
Heevenhear
dal
it
tl
esnor
e.
Ar
ewomenhumanbei
ngs?
“
Umhhh…. canwetal
kaboutthi
sinthemor
ning?I
wil
ltel
lyouthewhol
etr
uth,
”hesays.
“Howam Isupposedt
osl
eepnotknowi
ngwhat
’s
goingon?
”
“
Youwi
llwr
apyourl
egar
oundmeand………….
”
Shesli
desundert hecover s.Hecal l
shername, he’
s
notsurewhathesai dwr ong,hewasadvi si
ngher .
Hewilltel
lherwhat’sgoingoni nthemor ni
ng,it
makesnodi ff
erence.Sheknowst hathe’dneverdo
anyt
hingtohurther,thisconcernst hefamil
yandhe
al
wayskeepherupdat edwi theverythi
ng.
“
Whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
met
hatyouwer
ecomi
ng?
”
Si
lence.
“
Zol
wandl
e?”
Sheremovesthecover
sandlooksathi
m.Shei
s
angr
yforunobvi
ousreasons.
“
I’
m happyt
oseeyou.Thi
sisagoodsur
pri
se,
”he
says.
“I
t’
snotasur
pri
se,
Itol
dyouIwascomi
ng,
”she
snaps.
Hefr
owns.Whycan’
theremember?Theytal
kedon
What
sappbuthedoesn’
trememberherment
ioni
ng
comi
ng.
“
Yout
oldme?
”heasks.
“
IsentyouaGI
F-Seeyoul
ater
.”
Hei
snotsur
ewhatt
hati
s,butheapol
ogi
zes.
“
I’
m sor
ryst
handwasami
.CanIcomeonbed?
”
Sheshift
sandset sthepi
ll
owf orhi
m.Allisf
orgi
ven!
Hesmi l
esandclimbsonbed.Shei sthebestthi
ng
thathaseverhappenedtohim.Helovesevery
momentwi thher.GI
Fs,confuseddatesand
tantr
ums.
.
.
Ever
yoneisup.MaMbonambiwasfeel
ingf
resht
his
morni
ng,shewokeupandprepar
edafeast
.Sheset
t
hetableandnowshe'
swai
ti
ngf
orever
yonei
n
f
rontoftheTV.
Zanamuhl ai sthefir
stonet oar
riveandshe’
s
disappointedtof i
ndhermot herin-l
awupbefor
eher.
Shehasdoneever yt
hing,evenwashedthepotsshe
usedear l
ier.Mamezal asli
keherar eaprobl
em,they
wakeupbef oreyouanddoever ythi
ngtomakeyou
feelbad.She’ sli
kethosekidswhower ealways
earlyatschoolandmaki ngherlookbadt ot
he
teachers.
“
Youar eup?Let’
sgotot
hetabl
e,yourhusbands
wil
lfi
ndushalfway,
”MaMbonambisays.
Sheisabitrel
ieved.MaMbonambidoesn’tseem to
careaboutwhoi sawakeandwhoi snot.Shelooks
atherasadaught er,
notnecessar
il
yafamily
makoti.
Mndenijoinst
hem shor
tl
y.He’
swear i
nghi sbest
smil
e,nomat t
erwhathappensinhispersonall
if
e
heneverletsi
tshowtohismother.Herhealt
hishis
toppr
iori
ty.
Hegr
eet
shi
smot
herandt
henl
ooksatZanamuhl
a.
“
Idi
dn’
tknowyouwer
ehome,
”hesays.
“
Youwer
enother
ewhenIcame.
”
Her
ubshi
sneck,
“Iwasvi
sit
ingaf
ri
end.
”
Hecannott
ellhert
het
rut
hinf
rontoft
hel
ioness.
Sheisabouttoaskmoreaboutt
hel
ateni
ghtfri
end
butNgcwethiandMndenij
oini
nwit
hthei
rloudchat
.
“
Youwil
lcont
inueyourdi
scussi
onaft
erbr
eakf
ast,
”
MaMbonambisaysandtheygoqui
etimmedi
atel
y.

Everyonedi
shesupandst arteat
ing.Nobodyis
awareoftwomi ssi
ngbrothersunti
lSangel
ihl
easks
whereherfat
heristocooldownhert ea.Mnotho
off
erstodoitbutno,t
odaysheonl ywantsher
fat
hertodoit.
“Ngcwethicanyoustopeat
ingandworryabout
yourbrother
s?”MaMbonambisays.Ngcwethii
sthe
secondeldest,
it’
shi
sdutyt
oknowaboutt hetwo
olderones.
“ButMaMbonambi
they’
reyoursons,
notmi
ne,
”he
says.
“Youdon’ twantmetosl
apyousoear l
yint
he
mor ni
ng,”shethr
eat
ens.Everyoneknowswhoshe’
d
slapifshewascapableofslappingandNgcwet
hii
s
notont helist
.
“
Morning,
”Busi
khayawal
ksi
nfol
lowedby
Mazwakhe.
Hislowerli
pi sswoll
en,hedoesn’tl
ookatanyonein
theeye,hetakesthecupinfrontofhisdaught
er
anddoeshi sduty.Mazwakhesitsnexttohim,hi
s
l
ipisswollenaswel l
.Noeyecont act
.Hetakesthe
plat
eandf il
lsitwi
thsli
cesofbread.
“
MustIputf
oryou?
”heasksBusi
khaya.
“
Yes,
please,
”Busi
khayasays.
Hetakesanotherone,
fil
lsi
twi
thbr
eadandpasses
i
ttoBusikhaya.
“Sonobodywi
llexpl
ainwhathappenedt
othet
wo
ofyou?”MaMbonambiasksstari
ngatbot
hoft
hem.
“
Theyf ought
,”Mndenijumpsin.Hemissedthisone.
I
tlooksliket
hingswerepret
tyugly.Must
'vebeen
f
un!
“Wef ought
?”Busi
khayaaskswi
thhi
sfor
ehead
creased.
“
When?
”Mazwakheasksgl
ari
ngatMndeni
.
“
Vel
eyoudi
dlastni
ght
,”hesays.
“Mazwakhe?Busi khaya?Whathappened? ”
MaMbonambi .She’sgett
ingworr
ied.Shethought
theyhatchedthingsout.Thisi
snothowshewant s
hersonst obe.Theyshoul dbest
andingtogether
againstoutsi
ders,notf
ightoneanother
.
“
Mndeniat
tackedusl
astni
ght
,”Busi
khayasays.
“Whooah!Iwasn’tevenhomelastni
ght
,Icame
backaft
ermidnight,
”Mndeni
.
“
Youwer
en’
thome?
??”
“
MaMbonambiIwas……….
”
“
WhatdidMaMbonambisayaboutcomi
nghome
l
ateatni
ght
?”Busi
khayaasks.
“Yeyt
hisisn’
taboutme.I’
m anadul
t,
”Mndenisays.
Heisannoyed.MaMbonambiwi l
lst
artshout
ingat
thewrongperson,andhewasn’
ttheonlyonewho
camehomeaf termidni
ght.Whyi
sMnot hoand
Ngcwethinotcomingtohi
sdef
ence?Hecan
exposethem aswell
.
“
Youar
eanadul
tinwhosehouse?
”MaMbonambi
.
“
Justsayyou’
resor
ry,
”Busi
khayaadvi
ses.
Mndenigi
veshim ani
cystar
ethenapol
ogi
zesf
or
comi
nghomel at
eatnight
.
“
Andf
orat
tacki
ngus,
”Busi
khayasays.
“Uyoyit
holakunyoko!
”They’
rel
yingabouthim,now
ont opofthathehastogi
vethem anapology!Not
i
nt hisl
if
etime.
MaMbonambiput
shercupdownandgl
aresat
Mndeni
.
“
Leavemyt
abl
e,now!
”
“ButIdi
dn’tsayanyt
hingwrong,
Ionl
ysaidhe’l
lget
anapologyfrom…..
”Heclearshi
sthr
oatandrubs
hischi
n.
“Me.Sayi
t,
”MaMbonambichal lengeshim.He
knowsbett
erthant
or epeathi
swor ds.Hesnat
ches
asli
ceofbreadandleaveswit
hhi scup.
“
Wetmout
h,”Mazwakhewhi
sper
s.
“
Yeah,
heneedst
obet
aughtal
esson.
”
Whent
heyl
ookupMaMbonambii
sst
ari
ngatt
hem.
Si
lence.
[
11/
19,
09:
54] :Chapt
erThi
rt
yTwo
Nont
obeko

Hehasn’tcal
ledthewholeweek.Imi sshi
mlike
crazy,
butI’
m scaredtoreachoutbecauseIdon’t
knowwhat ’
sgoingon.Evenifit
’sasingl
e-Hi,he
alwayssaysomet hi
ng.
Thisti
mei t
’sstrange.I’
m getti
ngf rustrated
checkingmyphoneever ysecond, hopi ngtof i
nd
something.Iwishhewasasoci almedi aper son,i
t’
d
beeasyt ofol
lowhi m andknowhi sheadspace.I
expecttoseeast atusupdat eonWhat sapp, maybe
asadpi ct
ureorcr yi
ngemoj is.Buthispr ofil
e
pict
urehasapai rofshoesandhi sst atusmessage
hasbeenwr it
ten“ AVAILABLE”eversi nce.Why
can’tmenbenor mal?Socialappsar et hereforyour
l
if
eupdat
es.
Ij
ustwantt
oknowwhat
’sgoi
ngon.
“Mshi
behaveyouhear
danyt
hingf
rom Busi
khaya?
”
Iask.
“
Yes,hecal
ledearl
ier
.Hef
oundmeanot
herj
ob,
I’
m
l
eavi
nglat
ertoday.
”
What
?No.Hecannott
akeMshi
beaway.
Ifhewant stol eavemei t’
sokay, butforcingMshibe
tol eavemyhousei staki
ngitt oofar.I’
m safe
ar oundhim, hemakest hisplacef eel
sl i
kehome.
I’
m al wayslookingforwardtocooki ngdi nnerfor
him.Heneverl eavesfoodonhi splate,heeatsand
finishesevenwheni t
’snothisf avourit
efood.He
snacksonever ybitewithgratitudeandal wayssay
thankyoubef oretaki
nghispl atetothesi nk.
“Don’
tworry,
nobodyisgoi
ngt
oter
ror
izeyou
anymore.Youaresaf
e.”
I
sthatsupposedt
omakemef
eelbet
ter
?
“So,t
hiswasjustanot
herj
obtoyou?Youarejust
goingtol
eaveandjumpont oanot
herf
ragi
le
womantofol
lowar
ound?
”Angerordi
sappoi
ntment
?
Maybebot
h.
“
Doyouwantmet
ocal
lhi
m?”
Thisboy!Hethi
nksthi
sisaboutBusikhaya.HaveI
evermeantanyt
hingtohi
m?Butwhyam Isur pri
sed,
everyonedoest
histome,hewasn’tgoingtobeany
dif
ferent
.

Itakemypur seandcarkeys.Hestandsbyt he
counterandwatcheswithhishandstuckedinsi
de
thepockets.Hedoesthi
swhenI ’
m cooking.He
doesn’tli
keTVthatmuch,soheusual l
yrunsoutof
thingstodointhehouseandjuststandshereto
wat chmecook.
“Lockonyourwayout,
”Isay.I
’m sur
etheyhave
keystoever
yroom oft
hishouseandallthe
passwords.
“SisNtobe?”Hefol
l
owsme.Nowhewant stoact
l
ikehecar es!I
’
veneverbeenanyt
hingmorethana
pieceofjobtohim.
“
It
’sf
ineMshi
be,
goodl
uckonyournewj
ob.
”Icl
ose
t
hedoorbehi
ndme.
Ihearitopeni
ngandcl
osi
ngagai
n.Hi
sfoot
steps
arethuddingbehi
ndme.
“
Ihavet
otel
lyousomet
hing,
”heyel
ls.
Whyi
sn’
thesavi
ngi
tforhi
snextpi
eceofj
ob.
“
Savei
t!
”Iyel
lback.
“
Hel
ovesyou.
”
Istopandlookbackathi m.Het akesthebeanieof
f
hisheadandwal kscloser
.Heneveri nter
feresi
n
ourbusiness.Hehasnevergi venhi sopini
oneven
thoughheknowsever ythi
ngt hat’sgoingon
betweenus.Hest aysprofessionalandonl y
i
nvolveshimselfwherehe’sneeded.
“Imaynotbel
ieveinl
ove,butIknowthatBKwoul
d
doanyt
hingforyou.Helovesyou.”
BK?Thi si
st hefi
rstt
imeIhearhim cal
li
ng
Busikhayathisway,andbythelookonhisfacehe
regr
etsit.
“
You’
renott
hef
ir
stoneaf
terher
,”hesays.
Iguesshe’st
alki
ngaboutNombuso.I
fthi
sishi
s
str
ategyofmakingmefeeli
nsecur
e,i
t’
sworki
ng
wonders.
“Butyou’
ret
hefirstonehehasdroveadi
stanceto
makeacupoft eaf or
,hi
redsomeonetol
ookafter
andshedtearsfor,
”hesays.
Myhear tisacceler
ati
ngandbeati
ngagainstmy
thoughts.Idon’twantt
orunaft
erhim.I
’mt r
yingto
beadi ff
erentwoman.Butmyhear ti
snotatease,it
hasn’tbeensincethedayhelef
tthehouseangril
y
andneverl ookedback.
“Givehim somet
hing,
asignofaff
ect
ionora
gli
mpseofhope.Hehasn’tdoneanyt
hingwrong,
evenifhedoes,i
twouldn’
tbeonyou,
”hesays.
BythatIguesshe’sref
err
ingtowhatBusikhaya
real
lywants.Thecoreofourprobl
ems;sex.Now
theycal
litasignofaff
ecti
on!
“
Youar
ereal
lywor
kingover
ti
mef
orhi
m,hey.
”
“
SisNt
obe.
”Hecl
osest
hedi
stancebet
weenus.
Il
if
tupmyeyebr
ows.
“
YesMshi
be.
”
“
Thankyou,
”hesays.
“
Forwhat
?”Iask.
“
Forgivi
ngmeahome, inashortper
iodoft
imeI ’
ve
f
eltl
ikesomeonewast aki
ngcareofme.Infactyou
t
urnedthi
ngsaround,i
twasmewhowashi redto
t
akecareofyou,butyoutookcareofmeinstead.
”
Exact
ly!Thi
siswhatIdoal
lthef
reaki
n’t
ime.
“
AndI ’m goi
ngtodothesamet oBusikhayaandhe
wil
lleavejustl
i
keyou’
releavi
ngtoday,”Isay.
Ifanyonei
smar kingtheregist
erforfool
sshemust
mar kmepresenttwice.Ikeepdoingonethi
ng,over
andoveragain.Idon’tl
earn,onlyGodknowshowI
passedschoolandmadei tthi
sfar!
“
Youar
eagoodper
sonSi
sNt
obe,
”hesays.
“Yeahri
ght,
agoodpersonwhoi
snevergood
enoughforanyone!
”
Hestandswher eIlefthi
m unti
lIdri
veoutoft
he
gat
e.Myhear tbreaks,whenIcomebackhewon’ t
behere.Al
lbecausepeopl ehavethepowertowal
k
i
nandoutofmyl
if
ewheneveri
tsui
tst
hem.
Ihavemournedfr
iendshi
ps, parentswhodiedwhi
le
theywer
estil
lbr
eathing,
fakebusi nesspar
tner
s,
l
oversandnowbodyguar ds.It
’stoomuch!
Heshoul d’vel
eftmealone.Withinthreeorf
our
monthsIwoul d’veheal
edf r
om Thulani.He
shouldn’thavecameintomyl i
fe,intr
oducedmeto
peopleandevenbr oughtthem tomyhousef orme
togrowcl oseto,t
hentakeallt
hatawaywhenhi s
physicalneedsarenotmet .
IalsoblameThulani.Iwouldn’
tbehereifitwasn’
t
forhim.Iwoul
dn’ttakenthatdri
ve,Iwouldn’
thave
ranoverhisbr
otherandcr ossedpathswithhim.
Iregretever yt
hing, meeti
nghim, t
hinkinghewas
di
f f
erentandf orsomesi l
lyreasons,thinki
nghe
wasn’ tafteranythingbutmyhear t.Yesi twasn’t
money, connectionsorbusinessdeal sliket
her est
ofthem.Heonl ywant edwhat’sbetweenmyl egs.
Hewasaf termybody.

Ihaveneversetmyf
oother
ebef
ore.Theof
fi
ces
arenotwhatIexpect ed.Thi
sisavi l
lage,t
here’
s
enoughl andforeveryonebutpeopl edon’tgotoo
fancyont hebuil
dings.Theypr eferl
etti
ngtheir
l
ivestockgrazeont heopenl and.Theybui l
dfar
from oneanothertoavoi dli
vestockfight
s.Youcan
actuall
ydr i
vefr
om onehomest eadtoanot heri
f
you’r
el azytowalklikeme.
Theherdsofcatt
learescatt
eredont hegreenfiel
ds
andnibbl
ingonthegrassinexhausti
bly.Shadows
ofthei
rkeeper
sareroamingar oundand
di
sappearingi
nthebushesinsear chforwil
df r
uit
s.
They’r
eimpati
ent
lywaiti
ngfort hecl
ockt oti
ck
17:
30andheadbackhome.

Therearecarsparkedoutsi
de.Notjustanycars,
l
ateSUVmodel sandBMWs.MrMt hembul efta
hugelegacy,andbythelookofthi
ngseverythingi
s
ontherighthands.
Thefarmi snoti
nsightifyou’
rehere.Maybeone
dayI’
llgettoseewhattheMpof anahypeisal
l
about.
Sli
dingdoors, purewhit
ewallsandt alldoubl
e-
gl
azedwi ndows.Wel lkeptfl
owergar denthatI
doubtanyoft hem everpayattenti
ont o.It
’sj
ust
herebecausei tmakest hi
swholeplacel ook
beautif
ulandt heyhaveseenitfrom manyot her
people.IbetBusikhayadoesn’tevenknowwhat
fl
ower sareplantedhere.

ThedoorslidesjustasI’mtidyi
ngmygl adiator
sandalsontheWELCOMEmatpl acedbef orethe
door.Ihavenevergoneanywher ewi thuglyshoes.I
al
waysmakesur ethatmyhai randshoesar eon
pointnomat t
erwhat .Butt
odayI’mj ustamessand
i
t’
sal lBusi
khaya’sfault
.
“
Whoar
eyou?
”
I
sthishowt
heygr
eetpeopl
eint
hissi
deoft
he
worl
d?
Il
ookupandmeethiseyes.Heisyoung,maybea
bi
toldert
hanMshi
be,butthewayhelooksat
peopl
emakesmethinkhedoesn’tcar
ewhoiswhat
age.Hejustdoesn’
tgi
veaf
uckaboutpeopl
ehe
doesn’
tknow.
“
IwantBusi
khaya,
”Isay.
Hef
rownsandscansmewi
thhi
seyes.
“
About
?”heasks.
“
Abouthowmuchi
shewi
ll
ingt
odot
orui
nmyl
if
e.”
Hetakesastepbackwi
tha‘
hol
ycrap’
expr
essi
on
onhisfaceandmovest
othesi
de.
Istorminsi
deandlookaround.Therecepti
onarea
i
st oowide.Idon’
tevenknowwhi chdir
ecti
onto
take.Dotheyneedcomplicat
edoffi
cest or
una
farm?NowIhavet ogoovert hatmoppingl
adywho
l
ookspissedandaskf ordir
ecti
ons.
“
Onyourl
eft
,themi
ddl
eone,
”sayst
hevoi
cebehi
nd
me.
It’
stheyoungboywi thanatti
tudeforcent
uri
es.
He’swalkingquiet
lybehindme.Ididn’
tevenreal
ize
thathewasf ol
lowingme, hewasheadingoutwhen
Iwalkedin,whydidhet urnback?
“
Thankyou,
”Isayandf
oll
owt
hedi
rect
ionshegave
me.

Therearevoicescomi nginsidetheoffi
ceI’m
standi
nginfrontof.Somet hingisbeingdiscussed
i
nt henasalEngli
sh.Itmustbepur ebusiness
becauseBusikhayaisaZul uspeakerbyor i
gin.
Sometimesheconf usesmet oowhenhegoesdeep
andusingtheZuluwor dsfrom hi
svill
age.

Wel ltodayI’
m awomanwho’sf edup.Ihavemy
haircombedupandnott ied,
gladiat
orsandal
son
myf eetandI’
m wear
ingnobraunderthisshi
ft
dress.
“Nt
obe?”I
t’
stheoneIranoverwi
thacar
.There’
sa
whit
emanont hechai
r.Hemustbeabusiness
guest
.
“Oh,hel
loyou,
”theot
heroneIdon’
tknow.Hi s
eyebrowstwit
chup.Hecracksabadboyishsmil
e
andcovershismouthwit
haf i
sti
nstant
ly.
It
hinkI
’
vehear
dabouthi
m.He’
sexact
lyhowhe
wasdescr
ibed.
“Khayaweneedt ot
alk.
”I’
mt r
yingtobepoli
tefor
thesakeofthewhit
ebusinessguestwho’ssi
pping
onagl assofbr
ownishdri
nkwhi l
eholdi
nga
meeting.
“
Khaya?Youar
eKhaya?
”Badboyagai
n.
Hestandsupfrom hi
sseat
,sayssomethi
ngtot
he
guestandsendsamessagetoNgcwethiwit
hhi
s
eyes.
It
’smyfi
rsttimeseeinghi
mi nasui
t.Helooks
nothi
ngl
iketheBusikhayaIknow,t
odayhe’sj
usta
multi
-mi
ll
ionarebusi
nessmanwhost epsi
nandout
ofmagazinecovers.
“
Let
’sgot
oNgcwet
hi’
sof
fi
ce.
”
No,
wear
est
andi
ngr
ighther
eint
hepassage.
“IknowthatMshibewasbroughtbyyouinmylif
e,
butyoudon’thavether
ightt
othrowpeoplei
nand
snatcht
hem outofmylifewheneveri
tsui
tsyou.
”
“
Okay.
”
Justokay?I
’
m her
eforanar
gument
.Ipr
epar
eda
l
otoft
hingst
osay.
“Youcandumpme, it
’snotsomet hingIhaven’
t
beenthroughbef
ore.I’vehadpeopl ewhomeantt he
worldtomeleavi
ngme.I fyouthinkforaminute
thatwhatyou’
redoi
ngi shurt
ingmeyouneedt o
askaround,t
heywilltellyouaboutallt
heshitI
’ve
beenthroughi
nmyl i
fe.”
Hesi
ghsandr
ubshi
seyebr
owwi
thaf
inger
.
“Mshibewasnotper manentl
yhir
edt oguardyou.
Hei snotevenabodyguard,hewasj ustt
heright
personforthejobatthosemomentswhenI
couldn’
tbet her
etopersonal
lypr
otectyou.”
Heistoocalmtoday.If
eelt
ear
sbur
ningmyeyes
andthreat
eni
ngtobreakout
.
“So,
whatnow?Youaret
aki
nghim offt
hej
oband
youwon’
tbether
etoper
sonal
lypr
otectmeei
ther
?
Youdon’
tcar
e?”
“
Ntobe!”Hebr
usheshi
sfaceandletsoutanot
her
l
ongsigh.“
Whatdoyouwantfrom me?”heasks.
“
Iwantyout
olovemeBusi
khaya.
”Icannotf
ight
tear
sanymore,t
heyr
olldownmyf
acel
ikesomeone
openedatap.
“ButIl
oveyou.Howdoyouwantmetoshowyou?”
Hepull
smyar m andwr
apsi
taroundhi
sshoul
der
.
“
Don’
tbr
eakmyhear
tanddon’
tleaveme.
”
“
Anyt
hingel
se?
”heasks.
“
Don’tl
iet
ome.Ihatei
twhenpeopleli
etome,
no
mat
terhowbi
tt
erthetr
uthi
s,t
ellme.”
“
Okaysthandwasami
.Whatelse?
”Heput
smeon
t
hedeskandwrapmylegsaroundhi
swai
st.
Idon’tr
ememberhim wal
king.Hescoopedmeup,
askedwhatIwant
ed,IansweredandnowI ’
minthe
off
iceIprot
est
edtocomein.
“
Don’
thur
tme,
”Isay.
“Youaret
hequeenofmyheart.I
’
dneverhur
tyou,
I
needyoutot
rustme.Okaybabe?”
Inodmyheadandwel comehislipsonmi ne.The
gum hejustt
hrewawaydi dn’
ttakethecigaret
te
smell
.There’
sthatrawemot i
onitgivesmewhen
he’
scurl
inghistongueinsi
demymout h.He’s
br
eathy,
hishandsarelif
ti
ngmydr
essandr
eachi
ng
uptomybr a-
lessboobs.
“
Iwon’tl
eaveyouNt obe,
”hewhi
sper
sinmyearand
t
heteari
nvolunt
ari
lydropsfr
om myeye.Nat
ure!
“
Okay.
”Inodmyhead.
Theti
pofhisshaf
trubsonmyvesti
bule.Idon’
t
knowwhenmypant ywentof
f.Heburi
eshishead
overmyneckandrel
easesalowmoan.
“Mamapl
easeal
lowmei
n,”hesaysi
nabr
it
tl
e
voi
ce.
Wehavebeeni nthi
spositi
onmanyt i
mesbefore.I
al
waysfightandescape.Buttodayhispl
eadi
ngis
di
ff
erent
.Icanfeelhisheartbeat
ingagai
nstmine,
heisher
eandnotgoi nganywhere.
It
aketheleapoffai
thandrockmyhipsup.Hel
if
ts
hi
shead,hiseyesarehal
fli
ddedandcanopi
edwit
h
l
ust.
Hecomesupt
omyl
ipsandonsl
aughtmewi
tha
l
izar
dki
ss.
Idon’
tknowwher
etokeepmyat
tent
ion,
thei
ntense
t
onguegameorhi
sshaf
tpenet
rat
ingmei
nchby
i
nch.
BeforeIreali
zehei
salli
n.Hepausesandt
akesa
secondtol ooki
nmyeyes.Iexpecthi
mtosay
somet hi
ngbutheburi
eshisheadovermyneck,
pull
soutandpushesinagain.
Irestbackandenjoythewavesofecst
asy
spreadi
ngthroughoutmybody.I
t’
sbeenmont
hs
andmybodyneededt hi
s.
“
Ntobe.
”Hepul
lsoutandpauses,
“Il
oveyou.I
r
eal
lydo.”
“Il
ove……..”Idon'
tcarr
ymyconf essiont
hrough.My
l
egsar eabouttobreak.He’
sshovinghimselfi
nto
everycorner,
ther
e’snotimetoadjustmyselft
othe
newpace.

Idon’tknowhowIendedupont hefl
oor.I
rememberscr eamingaboutmybackbeingpressed
painfull
yagainstthedeskandnextthi
ngIknowwe
wereont hefl
oorwi t
hhim ont
op,pumpingint
ome
mer ci
lessly.
Hiscum isspreadonmyt hi
ghs.Idon’
tknowwhat
hedidthatfor
,hecoul
d’veemptiedhimsel
font
he
fl
oor.
“
Youthi
nkI’
dleaveal
lTHI
S?Ntobeyouhavenever
f
uckedyour
sel
fandfel
thowhotyouare?
”
Post
-f
uckmadness.
“HowcanIpossibl
efuckmysel
f?Getawi
peand
cleanof
fyourcum,”Isay.
Hekissesmycheekandst andsupwi thhispanton
theankles.Helooksweir
dwi t
hat ieoverthe
unbuttonedshir
t,he’
snakedbelow, andhisshafti
s
dancingsideways.Anywayhedoesn’ tcar
e.Men
don’
tcar e,t
hey’
rethemostconfidentspecieson
eart
h.
“
Don’
tyouusedi
ckdol
lsl
ikeot
hergi
rl
s?”
Di
ckdol
ls?Ihavenever
……
“
Dil
dos?
”Iask.
“
Yeah,
Ihat
ethem.
”
Maybenotsoconfi
dent
,theyar
ejustsecur
ewit
h
t
hei
rbodies.He’
sthr
eat
enedbya‘dickdoll
!’
“
Why?
”Iask.
“
BecauseIdon’
tli
keshar
ingwi
thpl
ast
ics.
”
“
Wel
l,
Ihavet
woi
nthehouse.Lar
geandmedi
um.
”
“
Large??
?”Hepauseseverymoveandl
ooksatme
wit
hhiseyesbul
gingout
.
Lor
d,Ishoul
dn’
tbegi
ggl
ingsol
oud.
“Getr
idoft
hosethi
ngstoday.Thisi
syournewtoy.
”
Hepoint
sathisshaf
t.Noli
e,Ilovemynewtoy.
“Icannott
aket
hisonei
nthebagwi
thme
everywher
eIgo.
”
“Don’twor
ry,Jamawil
lgetanywhereyouare.Even
whenwear ebot
hdeadIwillsneakoutofhel
l,
swim
acrossJordanandcomefuckyou,”hesays.
“Youarenotgoi
ngtoheaven?”I
’
mj ustshocked
abouthownormalhe’
smaki ngi
tsounds.Imean
ever
yoneishereonear
thtosecureaseatinheaven.
Hebur
stsi
ntol
aught
erandkneel
snextt
omewi
tha
wi
pe.
“
Ihavenotf
oll
owedasi
ngl
ethi
ngi
nthatbook.
”
“Doesthatmeanyouhavest ol
en,gotj
eal
ousover
yourneighbour
,li
ed,
kil
ledand…..
”
“
Yes,
”hesays.
“
Whi
chonear
eyousayi
ngyest
o?”Iask.
“Yestoal l
.AndIjustfuckedyoubef or
emarri
age.
Godi swat chi
ngandwr it
ingeveryt
hingonthe
sinners’book.Youthi
nkt heyhaveSappiupther
e?
Howar etheygett
ingsomuchpaper ?Isi
n
everyday.”
“Busikhayadoyouwantmor esex?
”Idon’
tthi
nk
anythingelsecanshuthi
m up.
“
Yes,
mustIcomesl
eepover
?”
“
No,
don’
ttal
kaboutGod.
”
Hegri
nsandcont
inuestowi
pemylegs.I
sitmeor
he’
sdoingsl
owl
ybetweenmylegs.
“
Youknowoneoft
het
hingsmyf
atherwor
kedhar
d
f
or?
”
“Ummm…. no.
”Canhefini
shalready?I
t’
sgetti
ng
weir
d.Ihavemylegswideopenedi nf
rontofhi
m
andhe’
swi pi
ngl
ikeatort
oise.
“
Hedi
dn’
twantust
ogohungr
y,”hesays.
Fi
ngeronmycl
it
?No.
“
Don’
tst
arvemeNt
obe,
Iloveeat
ingmyf
ood.
”
“
Well
,Il
ovecooki
ng,
”Isayevent
houghI
’
m notsur
e
wear
eonthesamepage.
“
CanIgi
veyout
hecombo?
”
Oh,
maybewear
etal
kingaboutf
ood.
“Whichone?
”Iask.Therear
esomanycombost
o
choosefr
om, t
hemostwantedl
atel
ybei
ngf
ri
es,
sausageandvetkoek.
“
Blendedor
gasm,
vagi
nalandcl
it
oralcombo.
”
“
Busi
khayaIt
houghtwewer
etal
kingabout
…..
”
“Ist
il
lwantyou.We’
l
lcl
oset
hedoor
,nobodywi
ll
seeus.”
Whati
sthatsupposedt
omean?Wewi
ll
…?Wer
en’
t
we?
[
11/
19,
09:
54] :Chapt
erThi
rt
yThr
ee
Umkhontohasal r
eadybeenf etched.It
’sbeena
busyweekforeveryone,prepari
ngf ori
zibi
zoand
makingsur
et hatever
ythingisboughtbecausethe
l
astthi
ngtheMt hembusneedi shavingthe
Ngwanesfindingasli
ghtf aul
tandst ar
ti
ngthe
drama.
ForNgcwet hii
t’
sbeenanemot i
onalrestlessweek.
Knowi ngthatZanamuhlaiswiththosepeopl e,
who’dt r
yanyt hi
ngtogetri
dofher ,
alsoaddst ohis
rest
lessness.Andhe’sbeenhavingbaddr eams.
Thismor ningMnothoisleavi
ng,he’sfinall
ygoingt
o
seeKhwezi .Somet
hingaboutthem together
doesn’tsettlewel
lwit
hhim.
Hecoul dst ophimf rom going,buti t
’sbeenyear
s
sincehel astsawher ,
thi
si sthedayhe’ sbeen
l
ooki ngforwar dto,
hecannotdot hattohim.
Especial
lybecausehedoesn’ thaveacl ear
explanati
onofwhyhedoesn’ twanthi mtogo.Just
thathedoesn’ tfeelgoodabouti t,voici
ngitout
unsteadyast hatmaysol idi
fyBusi khaya’
sti
me-to-
ti
mecl ai
mst hathe’stheeggoft hef amil
yandhis
voicemat tersaboveever yone’s.
“Wher ei
st hisonegoing?Umemul oistomor r
ow,
everyoneshoul dbehelpi
ng,
”MaMbonambiasks,
l
ooki ngatMnot hostandi
ngout si
dethekit
chen’s
windowwi t
hacombandl ookingathisref
lecti
on
throughit.Hedoeshavemi rrorsi
nsidehisroom,
butheal wayspr ef
erstheki
tchenonebecausei t
giveshim af ul
lbodyrefl
ect
ionandhedoesn’ tneed
tocleanupwhenhe’ sdonecombi nghishair,
the
winddoest hejobfr
om him.
“Isenthim somewher e,
”Busikhayacomesin
defence.Theyallagreedthatitwasn’
ttheri
ghtti
me
totel
l heraboutKhwezi.She’dasklotofquest
ions
andt heydon’thaveanswersyet.
Whenshedi sappearsbacki nsidethehouse
mumbl ingherf rust
rat
ionsofhavi ngchildrenwho
don’
twantt ot akeresponsibil
it
yofanyt hing,
Busikhayawal ksaroundt hekraalandst andsabove
thedwar fbenchNgcwet hii
ssitti
ngon.He’ slostin
hist
hought shedoesn’ tevenhearBusi khayaaski ng
himiftheboyshavear ri
ved.Theboyswhoher dthe
familycatt
le,somedayst heycomel at
eandmakea
l
otofexcuses, andtheyendupvot i
ngwho’ l
ltake
t
hecat
tl
eamongt
hemsel
ves.
“Wherear eyoubafo?”heasksal i
tt
lebi
tconcer
ned.
It
’snor malforNgcwethitowakeupinabadmood,
i
thappensanydaybutj ustnott
hedaybeforeheis
sendingizibizoandhi
sf i
ancéishavi
ngumemul o.
It
’sstrange,givent
helightmoodheslepton
yesterday.
“Idon’
tknow.SomewhereinEshowe,t
ryi
ngtoseei
f
mybr ot
herissaf
e.Buti
t’
sblank,
”hesaysand
shrugshisshoul
der
s.
“Mnotho?Why?Doyoususpectsomet hi
ng?”
Busikhayaasks.He’ dtellMnothonottogowithout
anyhesi t
ation.Feel
ingsar eneversomet
hinghe
considers,especial
lyfeeli
ngsofmen.Hedoeswhat
needst obedone.
“
No,
”Ngcwet
hisaysandzonesoutagai
n.
Mnothorunsdowntohiscarandtur
nstheengi
ne
on.Heseeshisbr
other
sanddecidestogosay
goodbye.
“
I’
m ont
heway,
”het
ell
sthem.
Busi
khayalooksatNgcwethi
,hopi
nghe’dsay
somethi
ng.Maybehe’sseenthevi
sioncl
earl
ynow.
“
Sur
ebaf
o,”Ngcwet
hisays.
Busi
khayasi
ghswi
thr
eli
ef.Thi
smeansal
liswel
l
.
“Don’tf
orgetthatit
’syourt
urntoseet
hewor
ker
s
clockouttoday,”hetel
lsMnotho.
“
Agai
n?”Mnot
hoasks.
“
Whatdoyoumean‘
agai
n’?I
t’
syourt
urn.
”
Hehasstar
tedwit
hhisbull
ying.Whendi
dhelast
hadatur
n?Allhedoeslat
elyisgotol
unchdat
es
wit
hNtobeandmisshismeet i
ngs.
“Becar
efulJama.Don’
tbetoocosy,
andpl
easet
ry
nott
otouchher,
”Ngcwethisays.
“
Why?
”Mnot
hof
rowns.
“MaybeifIknewthi
snewKhweziI’
dbesure,
but
ri
ghtnowIdon’tknowthat
’swhyI
’
m aski
ngyouto
becaref
ul.
”
Henodshisheadeventhoughhedoesn’
t
under
standhi
sri
ddles.
Hegoest ohiscar
,cl
imbsinanddr i
vesof f.He’s
scared,notbecauseofwhatNgcwet hisaid,but
becausehe’ smeeti
ngher.Hedoesn’tknowwhatt o
expect,
butt hi
sisthedayhe’
swaitedf oral ong
ti
me.Thi sdayiswhatgothim her
e,tot hi
sday, sti
ll
i
nonepi ece.I
twasthehopethatthi
sdaywi l
lcome.

Hemakesi tt
oEshowetownbef or
e11am.He’ snot
surewherehe’
llf
indher
,sohedecidestogo
str
aightt
oMbongolwanerankandasksaround.
Someonemustknowher ,adri
verorstr
eet
-vendor.
“
Howdoesshel
ookl
ike?
”onewomanasks.
Hedoesn’
tknowwhatshel ooksl
ikenow,
theysai
d
shehaschanged.Thewomanshrugshershoul
ders
andatt
endshercustomer
s.
Hestandsandwat chtaxisarr
ivingandempt yi
ng
passengersinsi
detherank.He’slookingatany
woman, t
ryingtocomparethef eatur
esofherhe
knowstotheirs.
Eventual
ly,
ayoungmakot
iget
soffthetaxi
,she
pull
soutayoungboyandbri
efl
ylooksaround.
Whenhereyesl andsonatal
lmaninalimeshir
t
andjean,
leani
ngbyhi sf
ancycarnott
oofarfr
om
thet
axistand,
shepullst
heboybyhisarm and
makesherwayt owardshi
m.
“
Hel
lo,
”shegr
eet
sinal
owvoi
ce.
Mnothot
urnsaroundandf
rowns.Thenheseest
he
boyandr
elaxes.
“I’
m wait
ingforsomeone,
”hesays,
assumi ngthat
they’
realsoapproachi
nghi
mtoaskf ordi
recti
onsor
something.
“
Yes,
you’
rewai
ti
ngf
orme,
”shesays.
“
Khwezi
?”He’
sshocked.
“
Mnot
ho.
”
Whenshesmil
es,
heseesher.TheKhwezihe
pl
ayedwi
thandplannedafut
urewi
th.Hepauses
hal
fwayt
oherwit
hhi sar
msopened.Ngcwet
hi!
“
You’
vegr
own,
”shesaysawkwar
dly.
“
Iknow,
”hesays.
Theyst
andt
her
e,st
ari
ngateachot
herandf
ight
ing
theburni
ngur getot ouchoneanot
her.Onehas
beeninst
ructednott o,andoneisj
ustscared,
scaredbecauset hismanstandi
nginfrontofher
knowsherbet terthansheknowsherself
.
HesawNandosonhi
sway.Theyneedsomewhere
t
osit
,somewher
epri
vat
ethanthet
axir
ank,where
t
heycansi
twit
hthet
abledi
vidi
ngt
hem andtal
k.

Theygett
hetabl
e.Khwezisit
satt
heopposi
teside,
hersonst
andswithconf
usionwri
tt
enonhisface,
Mnothoscoopshi
m upandsi t
swi
thhi
m onhislap.
“
Mnot
ho!
”saysKhweziwi
thhereyebr
owssnapped.
Theybot hlookather.Whichone?Thenshe
narrowshereyest otheboy.Heuntangleshisli
tt
le
handsf rom Mnotho’
sneck.Heheldtightl
yontohim
whenhepi ckedhi
m up.Hisnail
sdugi non
Mnot ho’sskinandscrat
chedhim ali
ttl
ebit.Buti
t’
s
nothing,he’snotf
eeli
nganythi
ng,hi
swhol e
att
ent i
onisonKhweziopposi t
ehim.
Theboylooksathi
sfinger
s,hestar
tsshaki
ngwi t
h
fearwhenheseestheman’sblooddropsseepi
ng
deepi
ntohisnails.Hehashur
thim.Heknowshow
hi
smot herhandl
esbadbehaviour
,sohehideshi
s
handunderthetable.
“
Doyour
ememberanyt
hing?
”Mnot
hoasks.
“
Yes,
Irememberyou,
”shesays.
Hi
shear
twar
msup.Hel
etsabr
iefsmi
lecr
acksout
.
“
Didyour
emembermeal
ltheseyear
s?”
“
Yes.
”Shenodsherhead.
“
Didyounotwantt
oseemeagai
n?”
“
Idid,
buti
twasimpossi
ble.I
’m mar
ried,
Ican’
tjust
l
eavemyhouseandgoback,”shesays.
“
Whynot
?”heasks.
“
Becauseofhi
m,”shesays,
looki
ngatt
heyoung
Mnotho.
He’
stryi
ngtofigur
eoutwhatt
hisissupposedt
o
mean.He’saskedtoomanyquest
ionsalr
eady.
“
Mnot
hogopl
ayout
side,
”shei
nst
ruct
stheboy.
Mnot
hof
rowns.
“
Ther
e’snoout
side,
wear
eint
own,
he’
l
lgetl
ost
.”
“Hewon’t
,”shesaysandfixesherst
areont
heboy.
Hejumpsof fMnotho’
slapandracesoutwi
thhi
s
l
eftfi
stf
olded.
“
Howol
dishe?
”heasks,
sti
llconf
used.
“
Heknowsever
ypl
ace,
”shesays.
Heisst
il
lconf
used,buttheboyisnott
her
eason
whyhecamehere,hisreasoni
sher.
“
Whydi
dyougi
vehi
m myname?
”heasks.
“Sot
hathecanhaveaspeci
alconnect
ionwi
th
you.
”
Agai
n,hef
rowns.
“
Why?
”heasks.
“
Itwi
llpr
otectyou,
”shesays.
Whythehel
lwouldheneedprot
ecti
onfrom achil
d?
Theywer
eri
ght,ever
ythi
ngaboutheri
sstrange.
“
Youhavet
ocomeback,
”het
ell
sher
.
“
Itwoul
dbecompl
icat
ed.
"
“
We’
l
lfi
gur
eitout
.”
Shesmilesandopenst
hecanawai terj
ustpl
aced
i
nfrontofthem,
alongwit
hthei
rfood.
“
No,
Ican’
tandIdon’
twantt
o,”shesays.
“KhweziI’
vebeenwai t
ingforyou.Iputmyl i
feon
holdforyou,
Iknowt hi
si sn’tyou.Youhada
purpose,avi
sion,
thi
si snothowyouwant edtoend
up.YouandIwant edgr eaterthi
ngs,”hesays.
“Mnotho,ourl
iveschanged, Iwasachil
dbackthen.
Iwasnott i
edtoanyone, Ihadnochildwhosesanit
y
dependedonmebei ngwhoIam, andnomother-
in-
l
aw.Thingsaredifferent
,”shesays.
“
You’
ret
ied?
”heasks.
“I’
m notKhweziNdl ovuanymor e.Thosepeopl eand
theirancestorsdon’trecognizemeanymor e.I
speakt odiffer
entpeopl e,I
’m prot
ectedbydi f
ferent
ancest or
s,I
’m aseni orinthatfamilynow.I’min
char geofumsamo, whent hingsgosout h,I’
mt he
onewhokneel sdownwi t
himpephoandt alktothe
ancest or
s.I’
mt hevoi ce,t
heconnect orand
protectorofthatfami l
y.”Shepausesandt akesa
si
pofhercol ddri
nk.Hehastounderst
and.It’
snot
easyashet hi
nks.Eveni
fitwas,shewouldn’
thave
beenabletotakehersonwithher.Hewouldn’
t
survi
veanywhereasidehi
sownhomewher ehis
chordwasbur i
ed.
“I
tgotevenmorecompli
catedwit
hMnot
ho’
sbi
rt
h,”
shesaysandshrugshershoul
der
s.
“Ngcwet
hi,mybrother
,canhel
pyou.Hecan
uncompl
icatest
hisforus,
”hesays,
event
hough
he’
snotsurewhatexactl
y
woul
dNgcwet
hineedt
odoi
nthi
ssi
tuat
ion.
“Theoneget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
”sheasksandhenods
hishead.
“
No,
hecan’
t.Al
otwoul
dbeatr
iskf
orhi
m.”
He’
snotsurewhatshemeans.Shedoesn’
tknow
Ngcwet
hitojustdeci
deonhi
sbehal
f.
“
Likewhat
?”heasks.
“
Hiswi
fe.
”
No,Ngcwet
hicanloseeveryt
hing,
car
s,shoesand
hi
sexpensi
vewatchesthatheneverwear,
buthe
cannotloseZano.Put
ti
ngheratr
iskwoul
dneverbe
anoption.
“
Ifyour
unaway,leaveever
ythi
ngbehind,
what
’s
t
heworstt
hatcouldhappen?”heasks.
“
Mysonwoul
dtur
nint
ooneoft
hem.
”
“
Them?
”heaskswi
thaf
rown.
“
Youwon’
tunder
stand.
”
Foodi
sdryingi
nf r
ontofthem.Theonl
ythi
ngt
hey
havet
ouchedisthei
rdri
nks.
“
Iwon’tdr agyoui
ntothisMnot
ho.Il
oveyout
oo
muchtol etyougo.Ican’
tmakeyourl
if
e
miser
able.”
“
Whydi
dyoucal
lmeher
e?”He’
sangr
y.
“
Toaskyout
oletmego,
”shesays.
“
FuckyouKhwezi
!”
Hepickshisphoneandkeysontopofthetabl
eand
ri
sesuptoleave.Howcansheaskhimt hi
s?After
al
ltheseyearshehaswait
edforher
.She’snoteven
sorr
y,herl
if
emovedon.Shehasasonandshe
gavehi
m hi
sname.
“
Mnot
ho…….
..
”
Deepbr
eat
h!Het
urnsandl
ooksather
.
“
Allt
hebest
.Behappy,
”shesays.
Her
eleaseshi
sbr
eat
handst
ormsout
.
Heget sinthecarandleavesEshowewit
haheavy
heart.Hebroughthi
msel fmorepai
nbycomi ng
here.Busikhayahasbeenright
,heshoul
d’vemoved
on.
Thethoughtalonescareshi
m.Wherewoul
dhe
moveont owhenal lhe’
severwant
edwasafut
ure
wit
hKhwezi ?
Hetakesthedust yroadhedidn’
ttakecomingto
Eshowe.It’
sleadinghim somewhere.He’snotsur
e
where,t
heonl ythingonhismindisgett
inghome
onti
me, beforeBusikhayabit
eshi
sheadof f.
Ther oadl
eadshi
m onandon.Itendsinthemi ddl
e
ofnowhere.Hest
art
shisownr oadthatwil
llead
him home.Thesi
deofhisneckisheavy,heneeds
togethomeandrest….
So,hedrivest
hrought he
bush.

*
**

“Mndeniyou’
l
lhavet
ost
andi
nforhi
m,”Busi
khaya
says.
There’
snosi gnofMnot ho.Heknewt hathewould
di
sobeyhi m, nobodyeverl i
stenstohimi nthi
s
home, andt heyallactsurpri
sedwhenheget s
harderont hem.It’stheonlylanguagethey
understand, Mnothohast owor kondeliver
iesthe
wholeweek, wit
houtanyassi stance.
“
DoesMazwakheeverdoesanyt
hingt
hough?
”
Mndeniasks.
“I
’m notafar
mer,”Mazwakheanswer sfrom t
he
couch.Justl
ikeNgcwethi,t
odayhe’snoti nthe
mood.Hedoesn’ttrustt
heNgwaneswi thhisHlahla.
HethoughtaboutgoingtherebeforetheMt hembus
butthenheremember edthatpeoplesti
llhave
unansweredquesti
ons,andsomet hingwi l
lsur
ely
pi
sshi
m of
fandhe’
l
lendupr
uini
nghi
ssi
ster
’sday.
“
I’
m notaf
armerei
ther
,”Mndenisays.
“
Whatar
eyou?
”Busi
khayaasks.
“
I’
m apor
nst
ar,
”hesays.
“
Gobeapor
nst
ari
nthef
armt
hen.
”
Theylaugh.Hedoesn’ tknowt hatit
’shi
m whoi sa
pornstar.Hewentf r
om Mr90dayst obeinga
pornstarthatmakesoutont hef l
oorwiththedoor
wideopened.Hegavet hem suchashow, i
fit
wasn’tNgcwet hichasingthem awayt heywoul d’
ve
watchedt hewholething.
Ngcwet
hiwal
ksin,
hiseyesscanthewhol
eroom,
t
henherel
easesasighandsi
tsnextt
oMazwakhe.
“
Hisphonei
sof
f,
”het
ell
sthem.
“Youthi
nkhedidn’
tevenwait90daysbefor
ehit
ti
ng
i
twithKhwezi
?”He’sonhiswayt ot
hedoor,
headi
ngtothefarmtocloseupthebusi
nessday.
Nobodysaysanyt
hing,
hedidn’
tneedananswer
anyway.Heget
sinhiscaranddri
vesout
.
“Maybehegothel dupsomewhereandhisbatter
y
died,
”Busikhayasaysandl
ooksatNgcwethifora
l
ittl
ehope.Hedoesn’tli
kei
twhenhe’sworr
ied
becausehalfoftheti
meshisworr
iestur
ninto
nightmar
es.
“Possi
ble,
”Ngcwet
hisaysandrestshi
sheadback
onthecouchandshutshiseyes.
Hi
sphoneri
ngs,heswipesthescr
eenwi
thhi
seyes
cl
osedandr
eject
sthecall
.
Mazwakhe’
sphoner
ings.
“Wher
e’sNgcwet
hi?
”ist
hegr
eet
ingheget
swhen
heanswers.
“
He’
sher
e,”hesays.
“
Givehi
mthephone,
”sheor
der
s.
BecomingaMthembudoesn’tmeanhe’
sthei
r
middl
emanandhe’sgoingtopasshi
sphoneto
Ngcwethisot
hatt
heycantal
kaboutsex.
“
No,
cal
lhi
sphone,
thi
sismyphone.
”
“
Hawu,
Mazwakhe.
.……”
“
Hlahl
a!”Hi
stonedel
iver
sawar
ning.
Shesi
ghsandendst
hecal
l.
Ngcwet
hiopenshi
seyesandl
ooksathi
m.
“
Whyar
eyoust
ari
ngatme?
”Mazwakheasks.
Inst
eadofansweri
ng,Ngcwet
hiswi
pesthescr
een
ofhisphoneandcall
sZanamuhl
aback.
“Mnikaziwent
oyamiyokuchama,
”hesays,getsof
f
thecouchandwalksoutwit
hthephonepressed
agai
nsthisear.
Busikhayabur
stsi
ntol
aughterasMazwakhewi
pes
i
nvisibl
esweatonhisf
oreheadandcl
ickshi
s
tongue.
“
They’
reget
ti
ngmar
ri
edsoon,
”het
ell
shi
m.
“
Thatdoesn’
tmeananyt
hing,
”Mazwakhesays.
Busi
khayagrabsabottl
eofwat erandsi t
snextto
hi
m.They’r
estart
ingtogetalong.They’vehadless
ar
gumentssincethei
rfi
ghtinsidealockedbedroom.
“
Howi
sVuyi
swa?
”heasks.
“
Good,
fornow,
”hesaysandshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
“
Fornow?
”Busi
khayal
if
tsuphi
seyebr
ow.
“IhavetogobacktoJohannesburg.Ican’
tjustsi
t
here.Ihavetodosomethi
ngthat’
sgoingtobr i
ng
mesomet hi
ngonthet
able.
”
“Youdon’thavetol
eave.Iknowthatyou’
rea
plumberandyouwantt odoyourthi
ng,butdoyou
thinki
t’
sawi semove?Imeanyoucandoanyt hi
ng
youwanther e.
”
“
Ther
ear
en’
tmanyoppor
tuni
ti
esher
e,”hesays.
“I
nlif
eyoudon’tf
indopport
uniti
eslyi
ngont
he
ground,
youcreat
ethem yoursel
f.
”
“
Yes,
Past
orZondo.
”
Hechuckl
es,bur
ieshi
sheadbet
weenhi
shands
andexhal
es.
“
Ngcwet
hii
swor
ryi
ngme,
”hesays.
“Metoo.He’
sdoingashepleaseswit
hmy…. ”
Busi
khayacl
ickshist
ongueandlif
tshisheadup.
“She’
shiswif
e-t
o-be!I
’
mtalki
ngaboutthisMnotho
sit
uat
ion.Tomorr
owwear eabakhwenyanaatthe
Ngwanes,heneedstobeemotional
lyokay.
”
“Mnot
hoi
sagr
ownman,
heknowshi
swayback
home.
”
“Whati
fhemetherandsuddenl
yfor
gotwhere
homeis.Doyouknowhowmuchhel ovest
hatgi
rl
?”
heasksandtheybot
hlaugh.

*
***

“Whoareyou?”Aman,
tooshor
tforhi
sage,
asks
star
ingathi
m.
“Mnotho,
”hesays.Hehasnoi deawherehei
sor
howhegother e.Thepainonhisnecki
s
excr
uciat
ing,
hecanhar dlymoveit
.
“Mnot
ho?Howdi
dyougether
e?Whyar
eyou
her
e?”
“Idon’tknow,”hesays,
shrugshisshoul
dersand
sit
sont heonl ywi
dethingheseesaround,
the
basaltrock.
“
Whodi
dthi
s?”t
hemanasks.
Hel i
ft
shishandupandt oucheshisneck.He
doesn’tknowwhathappened,ital
sodoesn’tshow
thathe’shur
tanywher
e.
“
Come,
let
’sgetoutofher
e.”
Theshort
estpersonhe’severseenscoopshim up
asifheweighsli
keapacketofchips,andthr
ows
hi
m overhisshoulder
.
It
’salongwal
k,acr
ossri
ver
sandforest
s,andthi
s
manhasnotstoppedevenf
orasecondtocatchhis
breat
h.

“Whoi st
his?
”Aper
sonasksast
heshor
tmanput
s
him downonwhatf
eel
sli
keacement
edfloor
.
“Hisnamei
sMnot
ho,
”hesays,
final
lycat
chi
nghi
s
breat
h.
“Howi
sthatpossibl
e?Howdidheendupint
he
bushi
fhe’
sMnot ho?”t
heot
heroneasks.
“
Areyougoingt
oaskquesti
onsoryou’
l
lst
art
t
reat
inghi
m?Wedon’thavemuchtime.
”
“
I’
mjustconf
used.Howdi
dhebecomeat
arget
?”
Well
,he’l
laskandanswerhimsel
f.Theshortman
hasdisappear
edbehindi
sigodl
oandhe’stalki
ngt
o
someone,ifi
t’
saperson,
andapologizi
ng.

*
**

It
’st
imetoleave.Nobodyknowswher eMnot hois,
notevenNgcwethi.Hesleptli
keababyyesterday,
notevenhi
sgr amothervi
sitedtoj
ustst
areathim,
hewasblankthewhol enight.
“
We’
l
lhavet
oleavewi
thouthi
m,”Busi
khayasays.
“
No!
”Ngcwet
hi.
“Whatdoyousuggestwedo?Got
oEshowe,
leave
umemuloandcancelizi
bizo?
”
Si
lence.
“
Exact
ly,
”hesays.
Menar ri
vetoaccompanyNgcwet hit
ohisfi
ance’
s
umemul o.Younggir
lsloadever
ythi
nginsi
dethe
taxi
s,goatsaret
ransport
edinavan.There’
satruck
tot
ranspor
tlar
geri
tems,
li
ket
hef
ri
dgeMamkhul
u
demanded.
Mazwakhelef
tearl
ier
,hewenttohi
suncl
e’
shouse
t
ogetreadywitht
hem thatsi
de.
Mndenii
ssitt
ingi
nfr
ontoft
heki
tchenandst
ari
ng
i
ntospace.
Busikhayaisst
andi
ngabovet hekraal
,nextt
o
wherehiscarispar
kedandwat chingthem.He’
s
alsoworri
edaboutMnotho,buttheyneedtogoto
theNgwanes, t
heycannotcancelonZanamuhla.
Ngcwethijustdisappear
edi
nsi
dehi
shouse.He’
s
st
il
linhisshortsandsandal
sashe’
sbeensince
morning.
Hekneel
sbef
orehi
sownancest
ors,
aski
ngf
ora
si
gn.
Thisishisbrother,theli
tt
leone,he’
sthei
r
responsibi
li
ty.Yesterdayheshould’
veli
stenedt
o
hisheartandst oppedhimf rom goi
ng.
“
Ngcwet
hi,
”it
’sMaMbonambi
.
Hebl
owsoutt
hecandl
esi
nfr
ontofhi
m,pul
lsdown
t
hedi
vidi
ngr
edsheetandgoest
oher
.
“
Wear
eal
lwor
ri
ed,
”shet
ell
shi
m.
“Whyaren’
ttheyshowingmesomething?He’
sthei
r
son,t
heyshouldprot
ecthi
m oral
lowmet odoit
.”
Hesitsonthecouchandburi
eshisheadinhi
s
hands.
“Umkhontowasf etched,theceremonyhasbeen
report
edtotheancest or
sandi si
gcawuhasbeen
point
ed.Whoisi tgoingtobe?Zanamuhla?Or
you’r
egoingtolookf oryourl
it
tlebr
other
?”
Hehastodeci
deandhehastodeci
denow.Bot
hof
t
hem needhi
m wher
etheyar
e.
[
11/
19,
09:
54] :Chapt
erThi
rt
yFour
Zanamuhl
a

Ihaven’tbeenabletogetanyofthem onthephone
si
ncemor ni
ng.Everyonehasarri
ved,
theceremony
hasalreadystar
tedwi t
hjustafewMt hembuelder
s
andtheiratt
endants.Thebrot
hersarenowhereto
beseen.
NowI ’m hopi
ngthatVuyiswai sbri
ngingsomethi
ng
sol
id,shejustwenttospeakt oMazwakhewho
arr
ivedwi t
hmyuncl eandhi smen.Hemustknow
what’shappeningoverthere.Theyshould’
vebeen
hereaboutanhourago, Ngcwet hihastotake
umkhont oandtheyneedt opinmoneyonmyhead
asthef i
ancee’
sbrother
s.
“
And?
”Zandi
leasks,
star
ingather
.
Theyaregoingtohaveaf ielddaywit
ht hi
s.Can
Ngcwethidothistome?Notshowuponmy
ceremony.Whataboutizibizotaki
ngplacelat
er?
Thesearejoi
nedcer emonies.Whatannoysme
mor ei
sthefactthathewast heonewhoaskedf or
thi
sdate.
“
Theyar
ecomi
ng,”shet
ell
sher
,passesalookt
o
meandwal
ksbehi
ndtheli
neofgi
rl
ssingi
ng.
Ifol
lowher.Zandi
lewhisper
ssomethingt
oKhet hi
le
j
ustasItakeonest epaway.Gossi
pingal
ready?
Theydon’
twast et
ime.
“
What
’shappeni
ng?
”Iaskher
.
“
Qophel
owi
llst
andi
nforhi
m.”
Whatt
heheck?
!
“
Achi
ld?Why?
”
“
He’
sgonesomewher
eforanemer
gency.
”
“
Gonesomewhereonmyday?Thesepeopl
eare
wai
ti
ngforhi
m.Howimpor
tantcant
hatbe?”
“QopheloisaMt
hembu,
thecer
emonywon’
tbe
aff
ected.”
Okay,
somet
hingi
sgoi
ngonher
e.
“
Doyouknowsomet
hing?
”Iask.
“Iwoul
d’veblurt
editoutal
ready.Mazwi
isnot
sayi
ngmuch, hesaidnoquesti
ons,
youknowyour
brot
hertreat
smel ikeachi
ld.”
Well
,I’
m nother
ef orthei
rrel
ati
onshi
pprobl
ems.
Yest
erdayhewast reati
ngherli
keaqueen,t
oday
he’
streat
ingherl
ikeachi l
dandt omor
rowhe’l
lbe
tr
eat
ingherli
keat ree.

Ther
e’sacarar
rivi
ng.Busi
khaya’
s.He’
sherewit
h
Qopheloandot
hertwoboysI’veseenafewti
mesat
theMthembus.They’r
etheoneswear i
ng
amabheshuandcar r
yingshi
elds.Vuyi
swawas
ri
ght
,they’
rest
andinginfort
heirfat
hers.
“I
shegoi ngtobeumkhwenyana? ”Khethi
leasks,
l
oudf oreveryonet
otur
ntheirheads,whenQophelo
crossesisi
gcawuandgositsatthefrontofthe
crowdofmen.
“
Ist
herealmkhwenyanasi
ck?
”someoneasksf
rom
t
hecrowd.
“
Didhedumpyou? ”Zandi
leasks.Shewoul
dlove
t
hat,
wouldn’
tshe?
Vuyiswast ar
tsasong.She’snotapartofizi
ntombi
,
she’
sdr essedinhercocktai
ldress,
sti
let
tosand
sunglasses,butshest
artsitanywayandeveryone
si
ngsal ong.

Mndeni,
NgcwethiandMnothodidn’
tcome.
Somethi
ngMOREi mport
antcameup.The
cer
emonyconti
nues,Isi
ng,danceandgive
umkhontot
oQophelo.He’
saMt hembu,obviousl
y
hehashisownrecit
enamesandhecandanceand
br
ingt
hewhol
ecr
owdt
oast
andst
il
l.
Theygivemeabl anketpinnedwithR200noteson
ever
yinchofi t.Isupposemoneyi ssupposedto
makemef eelbetter
.Busikhaya,
theonlyMthembu
whoact ual
lylovesme, comesandpi nsmore
moneyoni nhloko.
Mazwakhecomeswi
thal
ousyR10andpi
nsi
t.
“
Wher
e’st
her
est
?”Iaski
nawhi
sper
.
“
Itt
ookyout
oschool
,
”hesays.
Oh,
Isee.Vuyi
swai
stel
li
nghim nott
ospendhi
s
moneyonme.Toxi
cgir
lf
ri
end!
“
Ihat
eher
,”It
ell
him.
Helaughsandst epsoutofthewayforother sto
come.Myex, yesthatonewhobr okemyvir gini
tyi
n
a10-minutessexthatIneverf
elt
,hepinsR50.Onl y
onelousyR50!Heowesmemor ethanthat.Formy
vi
rgi
nityandorgasm-compensati
onf und.
“
Let
’st
akesomeofitoff
,other
wisei
twil
lfall
,
”
Mamkhul
usuggest
s,comingoutofnowhere.
Wher
ethef
ucki
sVuyi
swa?Sheshoul
dbekeepi
ng
aneyeont hi
ngsliket
his.Iwi
llneversmel
lthe
moneyshej ustt
ookoffmyheadwi t
hher
si
ster
wives.
Theceremonycomest oanend.Ngcwethidi
dn’t
at
tend.Idon’
tknowwher eheisorwhathe’s
at
tendi
ngt o,
allIknowisthatheneedstobri
nga
mediat
orandbouncer sbecausei
twillbenast
y
whenwemeetagai n.

Thegoat saresl
aught
ered.Busi
khayaishere,
so
aretheMt hembuuncl
eswhoar einchargeof
everyt
hing.Ever
yonei
shappy, Mamkhuluandher
si
sterwives,t
heyarer
eceivi
ngthei
rgif
tsand
ulul
ati
ng.
Vuyiswamadeusbuymat chingoutf
it
s,Icouldn’
t
fi
ndt hestrengthtoputthedr essonwi thouthim.
Thiswhol ethingismeani nglesstome.Ear l
ierIwas
angry,butnowI ’m wor
riedsi ck.Mazwakhehasl eft
,
i
nt hemi ddleoftheceremony, t
hisconfir
mst hat
somet hi
ngi sterr
ibl
ywr ongatt heMthembus.
Ical
lQophel
oasi
deandaskhi
mifever
ythi
ngi
s
al
rightathome.Theonlyt
hinghetel
lsmeist
hat
Mnot hodidn’
tcomebackfr
om Eshowe.I
’
m more
confused.
Vuyiswapushest hr
oughpeopleandcomest ome.
Sheisnol ongermyeyesandears, she’
sdoingher
ownt hingsandnotpayingat
tent
iont owhatwe
tal
kedabout .MyonlyhopenowisBont l
e,she’s
soberandkeepinganeyei nt
hekitchen.She’sbeen
ther
et hewholeday.
“
Theyar
eher
e,”shescr
eamsi
nmyear
.
“
Who?
”Iask.
“
Ngcwet
hiandMndeni
.”
Idon’
tal
ertanyoneIj
ustgetupandhur
ryout
side.
TheycameinMndeni
’
scar
.AsIgetcl
osert
oit
,
Mndenist
epsout
.
“
What’sgoi
ngon?”thevoi
cest
art
lesme.Idi
dn’
t
r
eal
izehewasbehindme.
“Wef oundt
hecar
,”Mndenisaysandsquat
sont
he
ground.
“
Onl
ythecar
?”Busi
khayaagai
n.
“Yes.I
twasinsi
dethebush,damagedandlyi
ng
upsidedown.HewasheadingtoBabanangoor
somewhereonthatli
ne.
”
“
Tofucki
n’dowhatther
e?”heshout
sandleansby
t
hecarwit
hhisfi
stbumpingonhisfor
ehead.
“
Theimportantquest
ionis,wher
eishe?Ifhedi
dn’
t
makeitt
hroughtheaccident,
where’
shisbody?
”
Mndenisaysandexhales.
Ihaven’
thadachancetoaskmyownquesti
ons
andIdon’tt
hinkt
heti
meisrightt
odoso.
“
Wher
eisMazwakhe?
”Busi
khayaasks.
“He’sgonet
olookf
orhi
m.Hesai
dwemustcome
here.”
“
Wher
eishegoi
ngt
ost
art
?”
Nobodyknowsandatthistime,nobodycares.By
t
omorrowmorningtheyallneedtoscatt
eracross
KZNandlookfort
heyoungbr other.
Ngcwethieventual
lyopensthecardoorandcl
imbs
out.He’
swear i
ngashor t
,hoodi
e-j
acketandf
li
p
fl
ops.
“
Babe,
”It
hrowmyar
msar
oundhi
m.
“
I’
m sor
ry,
”hesays.
“
Ital
lwentwel
l.Howar
eyouf
eel
ing?
”
“
Usel
ess,
”hesaysandshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
“
NoNgcwet
hi,
don’
tbehar
donyour
sel
f.
”
He’
snotinagoodspace,butsomeonehasseen
t
hem andaboyissentt
ocallthem i
n.
Theymakehi m si
tatthefront
.Hiseyesare
bloodshot
,hecan’tevenaffor
dasmi l
eandt he
camer amani
snotst oppi
ngwi t
hhispict
ures.
“
Hedoesn’
tlookhappyt
obeher
e,”Khet
hil
etel
lsme.
I
’
m notsur
ewhattodowitht
hei
nformati
on.
“
Wear
egoi
ngt
hroughpr
obl
ems,
”Isay.
“Al
ready?Whathappened?”Hereyesar
ewi
dened,
cur
iosit
yisspr
eadallovert
hem.
“
Maybehe’sseei
ngsomeoneel
se,
”Isayandshr
ug
myshoul
ders.
“Zandil
ecomeoverher
e,”shewhi
sper
sbehi
ndher
shoulder.
She’
sherewi
thi
nasecond,
hereyesar
ejumpi
ng
fr
om hert
ome.
“Zanamuhl
atel
lherwhatyouj
ustt
oldme,
”Khet
hil
e
says.
“
Ngcwet
hiandIar
ebuyi
ngahousei
ntown,
”Isay.
Shef
rowns.
“
AndNgcwet hii
sseei
ngsomeoneel
se,
”shesays,
wideni
nghereyesatme.
“
Real
ly?Whoi
sshe?
”Iask.
Shecl
ickshert
ongueandl
eaves.Zandi
legoes
backt
oherspotwit
haconfusedlookonherface.

Mazwakhe

Het ookt
hevan, itskeyswereonsight,
andhe
enjoysdr
ivingi tbecauseitremindshi
m alotabout
hispastl
ife.Thel ifehefeel
slikehebel
ongedto,
mudhouses, herdingthecattl
e,managi
nghislight
fi
nancesandt akinghissist
ertoschool
.
Hewant edtobesuccessf uloneday,everyone
dreamsofit,buthedidn’tdream ofexpensivecar
s,
l
uxuriousoff
icesandexagger atedbri
ckhouses
hidi
ngbehindat al
lfence.Hewant edstabil
ity,
normalli
feandf amil
y.Maybef orhissist
er,he
alwayswantedhertohavet hebestofeverythi
ng,
that’
swhyhedi deverythinginhispowertoputher
i
ncol l
ege.

Hesti
llwant
shisol
dlif
eback,butbeingwhereheis
nowwouldmakepeopleinhi
slif
ehappy.And
Vuyi
swawouldneversett
lef
orthatl
ife.She
woul
dn’twantt
ospendherwholelif
ei nthevi
ll
age.
Shewant sgreatert
hings.Thesuburbhouse,
Mer cedezcar
s,kidsthatatt
endpri
vateschool
sand
dream inEngli
shatnight,andahusbandthatwear
suit
sandgosi tattheoffi
cewithalaptopinfr
ontof
him.

Hi
sli
fei
salsoaboutt
his.Pr
otect
inghi
slovedone.
Hewastheel
destatt
heNgwanesandhe’ sal
sothe
el
destattheMthembus,leavi
ngBusikhayaby
7months.Ngwanetaughthim howtobeaman, he
gavehimtheresponsi
bil
it
ytoprotecthi
ssibl
ings
andmotherswhenhewasoutf orwork.
Whi chiswhywhenBusi khayatoldhi
mt hatMnot ho
i
smi ssi
ng,helefti
nt hemiddleofizi
bizoceremony
andwentt otheMthembus.Theywer ejustarri
ving
home, l
ookingti
redandhelpless.Hetoldthem that
Zanamuhl aneededt hem andaskedt hem toleave
everythinginhishandsforthenightandgot ot he
ceremony.

Nowhe’shere,f
orthesecondt i
meinj ustaspace
ofonemonth.Hedidn’teventel
lVuyiswathathe
wasleavi
ngandheknowst hatshe’
l
laskquest i
ons
andaccusehim oft
reati
ngherlikeachild.
Maybei
t’
sti
mehet
onesherdownabi
t.

Adogbarksandchargestowardshi
m ashemakes
hi
swayinsidet
heyard.Hekeepswalki
ng,i
tget
s
near
erandjumpstohisleg.Thegol
fst
ickl
ands
acrossit
sopenedj
awsandl
eavesi
tsgums
bleedi
ng.
Hel
ovesani
mal
s,but
….j
ustnott
oday.

It
’scl
oseto3am andthewomanisal
readyupand
si
tti
ngaroundt
hef l
amesoffi
rei
nthekit
chen.How
normal!
Hedoesn’
tknock,
helet
shimsel
fin,dragsabench
t
hatwasleani
ngbythedoorandplacesneart
he
f
ir
epl
aceandsits.
“Whoareyou?Whosai
dcomei
n?”t
hewomanasks
angr
il
y.
Hecli
ckshi
stongue,
takesof
fthebeani
eonhi
s
headandwarmshishandsonthefi
re.
“Wenasalukaziawul
alivel
e?”heasks,
notl
ooki
ng
ather
,justf
ocusedonhi shands.
“
Iaskedyouwhoyouar
eandwhydidyoucomei
n
wit
houtmyper
missi
on?
”thewomansays.
“
I’
m her
eforKhwezi
,
”hesays.
“
That
’snotwhatIasked,
Iaskedwhoyouar
e.”
“Youreall
ythinkIwouldn’
thavet
oldyouifi
twas
i
mpor t
ant?Youdi dn’
tanswermyquesti
oneither
,
don’
tyousl eep?Youragematesar
esleepi
ng,in
thei
rgravesmost l
y.”
Thewomanchuckl es.She’
snotsur
eifthi
sis
someonewhoneedshel porathug.Eit
herway,i
t
won’tendwel
lforhimifhecamewi t
hthissti
nki
ng
att
it
ude.
“Areyougoingtowakeheruporwhat ?
”heasks,
ri
nsingthedog’
sbloodoffhisgol
fst
ickinabucket
ofwaterthat
’ssi
tt
ingnearthewoman.
“
Didyouseet
het
ime?
”sheasks.
“You’
renottheonetotal
kaboutti
me.Wakeupyour
daughter
-i
n-l
aw,Iwanttotal
ktoher.
”
Shewon’tbesentar
oundbyaboyshedoesn’
t
know.AndKhweziisst
il
lrest
ing,
shewasi
ntown
yest
erdaydoi
nggrocer
y,she’
stir
ed.
Hetakest
hebucketofwaterandpour
sitont
hef
ir
e.
He’
sdonewarminghishands.
“
I’
lldoi
tmysel
f,
”het
ell
sher
.
“Don’tyoudaregotomyson’sbedroom,
”shesays,
tr
yingtofindherwaytothedoort
hrought
hedark.I
t
closesbeforesher
eachestoit
.
Helocksherinandgoest oeachrondavel
,ki
cksthe
dooropenandlooksforKhwezi.Hefinal
lyfi
ndsher
i
nsidethethi
rdone,wrappedonthespongewi t
h
hersonlyi
ngnexttoher.
Hewhistl
es,Khweziwakesupimmediat
elyand
l
ooksaround.He’
sshockedbyherreact
ion,but
she’
sawakeandt hat
’swhathewanted.
“
Whoar
eyou?
”sheaskswi
thaf
rownonherf
ace.
“Me?I’
m BhekaniNdl
ovu.”I
tjustsl
ipsoutofhi
s
mouth.Somethi
ngdoesn’tal
lowhimt osayhis
nameinthi
splace.So,whynotBhekani’
s?
“
You’
renotmyuncl
e,
”shesays.
“IwantMnotho.Whatwashedoi
ngont
her
oadt
o
Babanango,
whatdidyoudotohi
m?”
Shef
rowns.
“
Mnot
hol
eft
,”t
hat
’sal
lshemanagest
osay.Her
mi
ndisjammedwit
hquesti
ons.Whywoul
dMnot
ho
makehi
swayther
e?Ishesti
llal
ive?
“
Wher
eishe?
”Hi
svoi
cei
sfi
rmer
.
“Idon’
tknow,”shesays,scrat
chi
ngherheadand
l
ookingaroundinfrust
rati
on.Theonenexttoheri
s
fastasl
eep.Mazwakhemakeshi swaytohim.He
scoopshim up,put
shim acrosshi
sshoulderand
covershim wi
thablankethewassleepi
ngon.
“Yout akemyMnot ho,Itakeyours.Whenyouhave
decidedyou’ llt
akeat axi,i
twillbeupt oyouifyou
comevi aMandenioryougot oMbongol waneand
comesvi aEshowe.I ’m sureyoust i
llknowyourway
home, t
henwe’ llexchangepeacef ull
yandyou’ll
comebackt oyour ….
.”Hel ooksaround, t
ryi
ngto
fi
ndasui tabl
enamet ocal lt
hiscreepyhome.“ Your
cave,”hesays.
“
Youcannott
akehi
m,”shesays.
“Watchme,”hesaysgoi
ngt
othedoorwi
tht
heboy
coveredi
nablanket
.
Hemakesitoutoft
heyardandgoestot
hevan
par
kedbehi
ndthetreessur
roundi
ngt
hehomestead.
Hethinksaboutputt
ingtheboyatthefr
ont,but
f
ightagainsti
t.He’
l
lsleepcomfor
tableatt
heback.

Zanamuhl
a

Ilef
teveryt
hingbehi
ngandcamehere.Assoonas
theceremonywaswr appedupint
hemorningI
packedmybagsandcamewi thNgcwet
hi.
Tell
ingMaMbonambiwasn’ tt
hewi sestthingtodo,
butonewayoranot hershewoul d’
vef oundout .
She’ssitt
inginherbedr oom withtwol itcandlesi
n
fr
ontofher .Heari
ngaboutt hecarbeingi nthe
acci
denthasdr ai
nedof fallherhopes.Ri ghtnow
she’
sj ustwaiti
ngf orthem tofindhisbodyand
bri
ngithomef orthebur i
al.
“
Ithi
nkI
’
m goi
ngcr
azy,
”Vuyi
swasays.
Yes,she’
shere.Nobodyinvi
tedher ,
shejustpacked
herbags,l
oadedthem i
nBusi khaya’
scarbootand
satonthepassengerseatwithherseatbel
t
fast
ened.
Ther
e’savandr
ivi
ngi
n.I
t’
sthef
ami
lyone,
itmust
beMazwakhe.
“
Oh,
thankGod!
”Vuyi
swasi
ghsoutnextt
ome.
Wefol
loweachothert
othedoor.Atl
easthe’
sback,
nowever
yonecanshif
ttheat
tenti
ontoMnotho.
“
Getinsi
deandstayt
her
e,”Ngcwet
hisays,
standi
ng
i
nthemiddl
eofthedoor
way.
“
Wewant
edt
oseeMazwakhe,
”Isay.
“
Zol
wandlegett
hef
ucki
nsi
det
hehouseandl
ock
t
hedoor
s!”
Whatthehel
l?I
sMnot
hoi
nthatcar
?Badl
yhur
t
maybe.
“
Okay,
ther
e’snoneedt
oscream,”Isayandpush
t
hedooronhisf
aceandlocki
t.

Theyareoutside,
taki
ngoutsomethi
ngfrom t
he
backofthevan.Yes,wearepeeki
ngthr
ought he
curt
ain,
thekidsarefl
atasl
eepint
heirr
ooms.
“
Doyout
hinki
t’
shi
sdeadbody?
”sheasksme.
Idon’
tknowwhyshemakesdeat
hsoundsso
normal
.
“
Idon’
tknow,
”Isay.
“
It
’shi
m,l
ook.
”
Il
ookandi t
’snothi
m,butayoungboy.WhatIdon’
t
under
standiswhywouldNgcwet hichai
nhi
m up?I
mean,helooksyoungandharmless.
“
Aret
heyki
dnappi
ngachi
ld?
”Vuyi
swa.
“
Idon’
tknow,
”itsoundsl
ikeaver
senow.
“
Chi
ldt
raf
fi
cki
ng,
yoh!
”
Idon’tt
hinkit’
sthatdeep.Yes,t
hey’r
ekidnappers,
theydidkidnapmeonce.Butt hi
sonei sachildand
they’
retakinghimtotherondavelattheback.
Ngcwethil
ooksangr
y,orf
rust
rated,
Idon’
tknow.
Buthi
m andMazwakhearehavingaheated
ar
gumentthere.

Almostanhourhaspassedandwearel
ockedher
e.
Sangowantstogoplayoutsi
de,
Qophel
ohasa
booktof et
chfrom anot
herhouse.MaMbonambii s
i
nherbedr oom andprayingnonstop.Vuyi
swasaid
i
twast oomuchforher,sit
ti
nginoneplacelocked
l
ikeacr imi
nal
,soshe’sdr i
nki
ngabeershef oundin
thefr
idgetofeelbett
erandI ’
m deal
ingwit
hangr y
kidsalone.

Atl
ast
,someonei
sunl
ocki
ngt
hedoorout
side.
Busi
khayawalksinf
ir
st,
hetakesSangowit
hhi
m
anddisappear
sinMaMbonambi’
sbedroom.
Ngcwet
hif
oll
ows,
hecomesandsi
tsnextt
ome.
WhenMazwakhewal ksi
nhefindsVuyi
swa,whohe
di
dn’tevenknowwasher e,
sit
ti
ngonthecouchwit
h
aglassofalcoholi
nherhand.
“Ohgosh,
you’
reback,
”shesays,
thr
owi
ngher
sel
fin
hisar
ms.
Mndeniwalksi
nlast
ly,
hegr absVuyi
swa’
sgl
asson
t
hecoffee-
tabl
eandproceedstoMaMbonambi’
s
r
oom.
Mnot
hoi
sst
il
lmi
ssi
ngbutnowt
heyl
ookhopef
ul.
They’
renotshat
ter
edast
heywer
ebef
ore
Mazwakhegothome.
“Youl
ookhorr
ibl
e.Come,I’
l
lprepar
eyouabath,
”
shesaysandpul
lshishandoutofthedoor
.
Ngcwethilooksatmewit
hafr
own,Ishrugmy
shoul
ders.Idon’
tknow,
what
everi
sitthathehasa
quest
ionfor.
“Youwil
lgotoMissi
onwiththekidsf
orawhi
le,
”he
says,
rubbi
ngthebackofhisneck.
“
Whati
shappeni
ng?
”Iask.
“Mazwakhebroughtt
hatboyhere.I
t’
sjustmor
e
compli
catedandnotsaf
e,”hesays.
“Becauseofachi
ld?Whosechil
dishe?I
sthatwhy
youchainedhi
m up?WheredidMazwakhetakehi
m?
Wher ei
sthemother?AndwhereisMnot
ho?Ishe
ali
ve?”
Hesi
ghs,
kissesmycheekandpul
lsmet
ohi
schest
.
[
11/
19,
09:
55] :Chapt
erThi
rt
yFi
ve
Mazwakhe
ThelastthingMazwakheexpect edwasfinding
Vuyiswaatt heMthembus,comf ort
abl
eont he
couchanddr i
nki
ngbeer.EvenBusikhayahasnot
broughtNt obeoveryet
.They’r
etradi
ti
onalmenand
cert
ainrulesneedtobef ol
lowedwhenagi rlcomes
toyourfather’
shouse.

He’
sneverbeenshyinhisli
fe,heal
wayssayswhat
hesaysanddoeswhathedoes.Butnotwi t
h
Vuyi
swa,shehasthisthi
ngthatmakeshim
compromiseonthi
ngshewoul dn’
thave
compromisedoninthepast
.
Shehasawayofmaki nghimlist
ent owhatever
she’
ssaying.Likeri
ghtnow, he’
sstandinginthe
middl
eoft herondavelthati
shisbedr oom,wit
hhis
handsclaspedbelowhi schinandthinkingofaway
he’
sgoingt otel
lhertodressuppr operl
yandputat
l
eastahatonherhead.She’ snotj
ustanygi r
l,one
dayshe’
sgoi ngtobeawi f
ehere.
Shet
oldhi
mtobat
handshe’
sgonet
ofet
cht
he
wat
er.
Shewalksinandl
ooksathi
m st
andi
ngi
nhi
sful
l
cl
othes.Di
dn’
tshetel
lhi
mit
’sbat
hti
me?
“Her ei
syourwat er
,”shesayspouri
nghotwat er
i
nsi dethedish.Sheaddscoldwater,pokesher
fi
ngerinsideandpour smore.Hismot herusedt
odo
thi
swhenhewasachi l
d.Hewatchesasshegoes
throughherownbag, hedoesn’
tknowwhenshe
broughtherbagsher e,someofherthingsareon
thehangerbei ngdri
ed.
Shepourssomethi
ngi
nhiswater.Hedoesn’
tknow
whati
tis,hebat
heswi
thwaterandLux,henever
put
sanythingel
se.
“I
t’
sready,
”shet
ell
shi
m,pushesouthersl
eeper
s
andcli
mbsonbed.
No,he’
sneverbeenshy,buti
shesupposedt
obat
h
wit
hherstar
ingathi
ml i
kethat?
Heslowl
ytakeshi
scl
othesof
fandkneel
sinf
ront
oft
hedish.
“
Whydon’
tyouext
endt
hishouse,
bui
ldashower
i
nsideandhaveasi
tt
ingar
ea,
li
keNgcwet
hi’
s?”she
asks.
“I
’m notr
ichl
ikehi
m andIdon’
thaveapr
obl
em
bathi
nginadish,
”hesays.
“
ButIdo,
”shet
ell
shi
m.
“YouknewmeVuyiswa,
youknewwhatIaf
for
ded
anddidn’
taf
for
dandyousai
dyoul
ovedme.”
“That’
snotwhatImean,youknowIl
oveyouf
or
you.”Shesoundsapol
ogeti
c.
“Iwil
lmakeapl an,”hesays.Healsoknewher,he
knewt hekindofl i
feshewant edandhesaidhe
l
ovedher .Whent hi ngsgobacktonor mal
,heneeds
toputasidehi sprideandaskBusi khayaf
orajob
whilehe’ssti
lltr
yingt ofi
gureouthowhe’sgoi
ngt o
pursuehisplumbi ngpassi on.
“Letmeknowi fyouneedhel p,
”shesaysandhe
nodshishead.Sheknowst hathewon’
tdoit
,he’
l
l
neveraskhelpfrom herbecauseinhi
sheadaman
doeseveryt
hingf orhi
mself.
“
Doyouneedhel
p?”sheasks.
“No,I’
l
ltel
lyouwhen….”Sheshakesherhead,he’
s
standi
nginsidet
hedishandwashinghislower
body.
“
I’
mtal
kingaboutt
hatbushar
oundJama,
”shesays.
Thi
siswhathef
ear
ed,
hersi
tt
ingt
her
eandj
udgi
ng
hi
m.
Shedoesn’
twai
tforhi
sanswer,
sheunzi
psher
smal
lbagandtakesoutabot
tl
eofcr
eam.
“Vuyi
swa…..
”She’sinf
rontofhi
m wi
tht
hethi
ngon
thepal
m ofherhand.Shekneel
sdownandputsi
t
overhi
spubichair
.
Heshaveshishead,beardandunderarmsbecause
hesweats.Nothi
nghasevermadehi mthi
nkof
removi
nghishair‘
around’Jamaandhispast
gir
lf
ri
endsneverhadapr obl
em wi
thit
.
Nowshe’ st
heoner
insi
nghim.Herhandkeeps
wrappi
ngaroundhi
sshaftandhekeepsr
eleasi
ng
heavybreat
hs.
“
Areyoudone?
”heasksandswal
lowsathersof
t
t
ouch.
“No,givemet hetowel.”Itsoundsli
keaplea,except
thatshegr absi
tfrom hishandwi t
houtwaiti
ngfor
hisreply.
Hefeel
sli
keachi
ldasshet
akesonwashi
nghi
s
l
owerbodyanddr
yinghi
m wi
thatowel
.
Shebri
ngshissandal
scl
oseandt
ell
shi
mtost
ep
outoft
hedish.
“Letmet hr owoutt hewat erandI ’l
lloti
onyou,”she
sayswi thawi desmi leonherf ace.Thingsl i
ket his
makehi mf eelli
kehe’ sjuststar t
ingt oli
ve.Even
Nandi ,whohet houghtwasawi femat eri
al,di
dn’t
treathimt hewayVuyi swadoes.Bet weena
tradit
ionalgroundedgi rlwho, somet imes,didn’tlet
him sleepont hesamebedasherbecausel obola
waspendi ng,andaskedhi mf ormoneyever yweek
becauseamani sapr ovider,andt heal cohol-
loving
girlwho’ddoanyt hingf orhim, evenshavi nghi s
privatepartandwi pinghisf eet.He’dchoosehi s
alcohol-l
overoverandoveragai n.

Shecomesbackwi
thanempt
y,r
inseddi
shand
pushesi
tundert
hebed.Shegoestothet
all
cosmeti
ctabl
eandt
akeshislot
ions.
He’
ssi
tt
ingonbed,
wai
ti
ng.
Achuckl
eescapeshi
sli
pswhenhersof
thands
appl
iest
hel
otiononhi
sface.Hef
eel
sli
keababy.
“Attheback?
”heaskswhent
hecol
dlot
ionl
andson
hisback.
“
Yes,
att
heback”shesays.
“
Butnobodyseesmyback,
”hesays.
“Doyoul
oti
onyourbodyt
obeseenort
okeepyour
ski
nmoist
?”sheasks.
“
Tokeepmyski
nmoi
stwher
epeopl
esee,
”hesays.
Sheheavesasi
gh.Theexhaust
edoneshemakes
whenshethi
nkshe’
sstupi
d.
“
So,
howi
sever
ythi
ng?Anypr
ogr
esswi
thMnot
ho?
”
Shecoul
d’veaskedt
hisassoonashearri
ved,but
sheknowsamanhei s.Shehadtosof
tenhim up
fi
rst
.
“
It
’sst
il
ldar
k,butNgcwet
hibel
ievest
heboycan
hel
p.”
“Howdidyougettheboy?Wheredidyoufi
ndhim?
Whereisthemother?
”sheasksli
keallt
he
quest
ionswerestor
edinherheadinacert
ainor
der
.
Hecannottel
lherthetruth.Helovesthewayshe
l
ooksinhiseyes,l
ikehe’sherperfectcr
eatur
e.He
can’
trui
nthatforhimselfbyexposinghisdarksi
de.
“
Igothi
m somewher
einNgudwi
ni,
”hesays.
“
Andhismother?”Shewantst
oknowandshewon’
t
l
etgount
ilal
lherquest
ionsar
eanswer
ed.
“She’
l
lcomef
etchhi
m whent
het
imei
sri
ght
,”he
says.
Shenodsherheadandlot
ionshisar
msandchest
.
Thenshepusheshi
m downont hepi
ll
ow.
Hi
slegsar
eont hefl
oorandshe’
slot
ioni
ngthem
whi
leonherknees.He’
str
yingt
oignorei
t,butt
he
f
eel
ingist
hereandburni
nghim.
“
Mazwakhe?
”
Heopenshi
seyesthathedi
dn’
tevenr
eal
izewer
e
cl
osedandl
ooksather.
She’
sdone.Nowshe’
ssi
tt
ingonbedandst
ari
ngat
hi
m.
“
Yousai
dsomet
hing?
”heasks.
Shesmi
lesandj
ustst
aresathi
m.
Hegat
her
shimselfupandgoest
othewar
drobet
o
f
indhi
scl
othes.
“
Whoar
eyousavi
ngmef
or?
”sheasks.
Hef reezesf orasecond.He’ sbeenwai ti
ngfort he
rightt imeandt heri
ghtplace,ri
ghtnowhedoesn’ t
havewhathecancal lhisownhousewher ehecan
takeheranddoashepl easewi t
hher .Onethi
nghe
fear si sthatshei swil
d,he’sseeni twhentheyki ss
orhug, shealwaysdoest hingsthatleavehim
gaspi ng.He’sneverbeenscandal ous,he’
sprivate
wi thhi spr i
vateacti
vit
ies,whichiswhyHl ahla
near lyf aint
edt hedayshef oundcondomsi nhis
dr awer .
“
Comeher
e,”sheor
der
s.
Hel
ooksatherwi
thaf
rownonhi
sface.
“
OrmustIcomet
oyou?
”sheasks.
“HhayiboVuyi
swa.
”Hechuckl
esandgr
abshi
s
clot
hes.
Ar
mswr apar
oundhiswai
standt
urnhi
m ar
ound.
Helaughsbecause,
wow!
“Wecandoi
ttonight
,Iwil
lorganiseapl
ace.Ri
ght
nowIneedt
oattendafami l
ymeet i
ng,
”heexpl
ains.
By12amanNgcwet hical
ledwillbeher
eandhe
needst
obepresent.
“
Can’
twebequi
ck?
”sheasks.
“
Idon’
tknowhowt
obequi
ck.
”
“
Iwi
llt
eachyou.
”
I
sther
eanot
herwayoft
alki
ngheroutofhermi
nd?
Bef
oreheknowsithe’spi
nnedagai
nstthe
war
drobeandonslaught
eredwi
thakiss.Hi
sshaf
t
i
sinherhand,
str
okedupanddown.
Shekneel sdown,li
ckshim aroundtheti
pwhi l
e
stari
ngupi nhiseyes.Hi
shandi sont opofher
head,hisjawsarefir
mlyclenched.He’ssil
entand
j
ustst ar
ingatherwithdarkereyesandsqueezed
face.
No,shewantsasound,evenifit
’sasupressed
moan.Sil
encemakesherfeelli
keshe’snotdoing
enough,
whichiswhyshespi t
sont heti
p,wipesit
wit
hhertongueandthr
owsi tdeepinherthroat
.
Nomoan.Heonl
ysucksai
rshar
plyt
hroughhi
s
t
eet
handli
ckshi
sli
ps.
Shestopsandgoesuptohisli
ps.Heki
ssesher
backf
oraf ewsecondsthenf
ail
stohol
dhimsel
f
andpusheshertobed.
Herclothesfl
yout,
they’
rebot
hfi
ght
ingt
ogether
nakedinstant
ly.
Gett
ingacondom f
rom t
hedr awerf
eelsli
ke
Mandela’
slongwal
ktofreedom.Het ear
sthef
oil
andinser
tsitonwi
thherhandhelpi
nghim.
Heplaceshisarm underherneck,br
ingsherleg
overhi
swaistandkissesher.Hekeepshislipson
herasheslowlypenetrat
esthroughher.
Hekeepsshutt
ingherscr
eamswit
hakissand
t
hrust
ingdeeperanddeeperi
naconst
antpace.
“
Mazwakhe,
”MaMbonambiyel
lshi
snameout
side
t
hedoor
.
Theybot
hfr
eezeandst
aysi
lent
.
Shecall
sagai
n,l
oudert
hist
ime,
wit
hast
eady
knock.
“
Ma?”her
espondswi
thhi
shandoverVuyi
swa’
s
mout
h.
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nsi
det
her
e?”
Ther
e’sagr
ipt
hatchokeshi
sshaft
.Helooksat
Vuyi
swawit
hhiseyel
idsweakandcloset
oshutt
ing.
“
Baby,
”hewhi
sper
sandl
ickshi
sli
ps.
“
Huh?
”It
’sMaMbonambiout
sidet
hedoor
.
“
I’
m dr
essi
ngupMa,
”hesays.
“Okay,
cometothedini
ngroom i
mmedi
atel
y.”I
t
soundsli
keshe’
sleavi
ng.
Mazwakhe’
sheaddropsonVuyi
swa’
schest
.He
r
eleasesaheavysi
ghbef
orel
ooki
ngupather.
“
Wer
eyoucl
ose?
”heasks.
“
Mazwakhe,
”shesays,
exhal
ingoutherf
rust
rat
ions,
andpusheshi
m of
f.
“I
’
mr eal
lysorr
yaboutthis,
”hesays,
qui
cklywipi
ng
hi
sfrontwit
hat owelandgett
ingi
nhiscl
othes.Thi
s
i
sexactl
ywhyheneededt obesomewherepri
vate
wit
hher.
“
Mal
ume,
”nowi
t’
sQophel
o.
“I
’m comi
ng,
”heyel
lsandgoest
oVuyi
swaonbed
andplant
sakissonherl
ips.
“I
’m sorr
ysthandwasami ,
”heapol
ogi
zesonce
again.Shejustnodsherheadandl
iesonbedfl
at
onherst omach.
Herushesoutandclosesthedoorbehind.It
soundsirr
esponsi
bleofhi
m, especi
all
ywithMnot
ho
missi
ng,butlat
erheneedstotakehersomewhere
andfini
shoffwhattheyst
art
ed.

*
***

MaMbonambileaveswhenthemeeti
ngends.
Busi
khayaassur
esherthatt
hey’
l
lgetMnothohome
safely.Ngcwethiaskshernott oworr
ybecausehe’
s
sti
llali
ve.Hewoul dn’
tmi ssthedeat
hofhisown,no
mat t
erhowbl ankhei s.He’dknow,t
hesameway
heknewwhenhi sf at
herdied.
“So,realtalk,MaMbonambii sgone.Whatar ewe
goingt odowi thachil
d?”Busikhayaasks.He’ sa
father,apar ent,hehasasoftspotf orchi
ldren.
Event hought heboyisnotcrying,j
ustsit
tingwhere
theylefthi m andlooki
ngboredi nsteadofscared,
hest i
llfeelsforhim.Hedoesn’ tknowwhat ’sreal
ly
goingon, he’sjustani
nnocentchi l
d.
“Ndlel
awi l
lfi
ndawayt otal
ktohim.Ther e’
s
somet hi
ng,aconnect
ionorsomet hi
ng,thathehas
withMnot ho.WhenIwalkedthereIsmelledMnotho,
hisbloodandpresence,f
rom him,”Ngcwethisays.
“
Youdidagoodjobbafo,thankyou,
”Busikhaya
t
ell
sMazwakhe.“Butpl
easedon’tdothi
ngsal one,
i
maginei
fsomethinghappenedtoyouthere.”
“
BusikhayaI’
m anol
dman,Icantakecareof
myself
,”hesays,
shr
uggi
nghisshoulder
s.
“
So,
Vuyi
swa?She’
sof
fi
cial
?”Mndeniasks.
“
Meani
ng?
”heasks.
“
She’
shere,prepari
ngbathsf
oryouandl
ocki
ngyou
i
nsi
dethehouse, t
henyoucomeoutwit
hyoureyes
r
eddi
shandt emperbelowzer
o.”
“
Wedi
dn’
ttal
kabouti
t,
”hesays.
“Youhavetocont
rolher
.AsfarasMaMbonambi
knows,she’
sZanamuhla’
sfr
iend.
”
“
Andshedr
inksher
e?”Busi
khayaasks.
“
Canyoust
opj
udgi
ng?Iwi
llt
alkt
oher
.”
“WhydoIgetafeel
ingt
hatshemakesyouweak?
Areyousur
ethat….
”
“
Mndeni
!”Hi
stonei
sdel
iver
ingawar
ning.
“I
’
mj ustsayi
ng.IalsowantNandit
obeonmybed
butIhavetodothingscorr
ect
ly,
”Mndenisays.
“
Nandiwho?
”Mazwakheasks.
“
You’
l
lmeether
,don’
trush.
”
“
Idon’
ttr
ustNandi
s.”
“
Doyout
rustyour
sel
fwi
thVuyi
swa?
”
Hegiveshi
m alook.He’
sthemostannoyi
ng
br
other,
butwhatcantheybecomewit
houthi
m?

Ndlel
aarr
ives.Theyal
lgot
other
ondavelatt
he
backwit
hhim.
“
Thisisnotanormalchi
ld,
”hesaysasheset
shi
s
f
ootinsi
dethehouse.
Theyknow,
that
’swhyt
heycal
ledhi
m her
e.
“St
ayoutofi
t.I
t’
stoor
iskyf
oryou,
”het
ell
s
Ngcwet
hi.
Thenhel
ooksatt
hem,
onebyone.
“
Who’
stheel
dest
?”heasks.
Theypoi
ntatMazwakhe.
“Thisi
syourj
ob,you’
veal
readystar
ted.Youwer
en’
t
alone,
theywer
eguidi
ngyou,”hesays.
“
Who?
”Mazwakheasks,
conf
used.
“
Theel
der
soft
hef
ami
ly,
”hesays.
Theywai
tforhi
mtogoon.
“
Youl
ovechi
ldr
en?
”He’
slooki
ngatBusi
khaya.
Thequesti
onisconfusi
ngbuthenodshi
shead
becausehedoeslovechil
dren.
“Iwil
lgi
vehim abat
handyou’l
ltal
ktohim.He’
l
lbe
calm,butdokeepawayf
rom hi
snails.
”
“
WhatdoIsayt
ohi
m?”Busi
khayaasks.
“Whateveryouwantt
oknow,”hesaysandempt
ies
hisbagsont her
eedmatl
aidbef
orehim.

*
***

Busi
khaya

He’
snotsur ewhathe’
sdoing.AfterNdl
elatookt
he
boyoutsidetheyar
dandgavehi m abathwith
whateverheused,het
oldBusikhayathati
twasall
i
nhisandMazwakhe’ shands.
Heputst
heboyont
hest
ool
,gi
veshi
m sl
icesof
pi
zzaandjui
ce.
He’
seati
nglikeanormalchil
d,messinghischest
wit
hthejui
ce,bi
ti
ngmor ethanhecanchewand
usi
nghisfi
ngerstopushittohi
sthroat.
“Mnothowhatdi
dyourf
atherdotoyou?
”He
doesn’
tknowwhereheshoul
dstart
.
“
Hetookmet
othegr
aveandsai
dImustst
ay
t
her
e.”
“
Stayt
her
e?”He’
sconf
used.
“Yes,hesai
dImustcomebackasuncleSol
omon
butinthesamebodyofmi
ne,”hesays.
“
Doesyourmot
herknow?
”Busi
khayaasks.
“
Nope….
Iwantanot
herpieceoft
his.
”Hepoi
ntsat
t
hel
astbi
teofhi
spizza.
Heget
shim anot
herpi
eceandpushesi
tinf
rontof
hi
m,car
efulnott
ogett
ooclose.
“
DoyouknowMnotho?Theonewhometyour
mot
heri
ntownyest
erday?
”heasks.
“
Yes,Ihur
thi
m,Iscr
atchedhi
m.Buti
twasa
mist
ake.
”
“
Youscr
atchedhi
m?”
“
Yes,her
e,”hesays,
showingBusi
khayaexact
ly
wher
ehescr at
chedMnotho.
“
Andt
henwhathappened?
”
“
Hewast
akenbyNkonyanet
oMkhul
u’spal
ace.
”
“
Wher
eisMkhul
u’spal
ace?
”
“
I’
m notal
lowedt
otel
lanyone.
”
“Mnothoi
sthere,Ineedyourhel
pboy”Busi
khaya
says,
desper
ately.
“
Mamacant
akeyout
her
e,butBabasai
dshe’
s
weak.
”
NowMazwakhehavetogobacktoKhweziandbeg
hert
otakehi
mtothatpl
ace.I
t’
llt
akehim al
ott
obe
abl
etobeg,t
heonl
ypersonshebegsisVuyi
swa.

*
**

Mazwakhe
He’
sst
andi
ngi
nfr
ontoft
hechai
rVuyi
swai
ssi
tt
ing
on.
“We’l
lhavetopost
pone,
Ineedt
ogosomewher
e,”
hetel
lsher.
“
Okay,
let
’smakei
ttomor
row,
”shesays.
“
SthandwasamiI
’m notsur
ewhenI
’m comingback.
I
tcouldbeafewdaysoraweek,
”hesays.
She’
sdisappoi
ntedbutsheunder
stands.Thef
ami
ly
i
sincri
sis
andi
twar msherhearttoseehimtaki
ngt
hest
and
andf
ight
ingforhi
sbrothertocomehome.

“
Mazwakhe,
”saysMaMbonambiwal
kingi
n.
SheseesVuyiswaandacknowledgesherwit
ha
bri
efsmil
e.Vuyiswaj
umpsof ft
hechairandwal
ks
outtof
indZanamuhla.Sheneedstopackandgo
home.
“
Thi
sgi
rll
ooksl
iket
roubl
e,
”MaMbonambisays.
Hedoesn’
tsayanyt
hing.Heal
soj
udgedherbef
ore.
“Don’
tgoaf
terhertype.Whenyou’
rereadytoset
tl
e
downbri
ngagirlhomeandwe’ l
lmeetherfamil
y
andseewhatkindofhomeshecomesf r
om.”
Shesi
tsont
hechai
randl
ooksathi
m.
“
Iwantmygrandchi
ldr
entohaveagoodmot
her
f
igur
eandgr
owi nawar m home.
”
“
Ihearyou,
”hesays.
“Ihearyou’
vebeenappoi
ntedtol
eadthesear
ch
becauseNgcwethii
sexpecti
ng,
”shesays.
“
Expect
ingwhat
?”Mazwakhef
rowns.
“Oh,nevermi
nd.Theywil
lmakeanannouncement
ontheirown,
”shesaysandpl
acesawrist
bandin
fr
ontofhim.
“Icametogi
veyouthi
s.Ifounditi
nyourfather
’s
clot
hes,
itdi
dn’
tcomefrom me,”shesays.
Het
akesthebandandl
ooksati
t.I
thashi
s
mot
her’
sdesi
gn.
“
Didheeverweari
t?”heasks.
“
Ear
lyi
ntoourmar
ri
age,
”shesays.
Henodshi
sheadandsl
ipsi
tinsi
dehi
spocket
.
“
Becarefular
oundt
hatgi
rl
,”shesaysbef
ore
wal
kingaway.
Mazwakher
eleasesasi
ghanddownsabot
tl
eof
wat
er.
Helovesthi
sgirlandhe’snotlet
ti
nghergo
becauseofimperfect
ions.Buthowl ongi
shegoing
tostandt
hisjudgementandcr i
ti
cism?Hecan’t
changeherandhel ovesherforbeingher
.
[
11/
19,
09:
55] :Chapt
erThi
rt
ySi
x
Zanamuhl
a

GrowingupIwasachi l
d,evenaftermymot her’s
deathIremainedachi l
d,Mazwakhemadesur eofit
.
Iwast heonebeingtakencareof, nott
heot herway
around.NowIhavet woki dsI
’m expectedtot ake
careof,forafewdaysoraweek, Idon’tknow.I t
couldbemor eorless.I’
m her
ewi ththem until
Mnot hoisbroughthome.
Theylookl
iket
hey’
veneverbeenher
ebefor
e,
j
udgingbythewaythey’
rel
ookingl
ost.
“Qophel
ocome, Iwi
llshowyouyourroom,
”
Ngcwethisays,
taki
nghisbagfr
om thefl
oor
.
“
Wher
eismi
ne?
”Sangoasks.
“
You’
l
lsl
eepwi
thAuntZano.
”
Hereist
othelongestnight
sofmylif
e!Iwillbe
shari
ngbedwi t
hthedramaqueenherself
,talki
ng
aboutMashaandt heBearandbei
ngforcedi nt
oher
weakhair
dressingski
ll
s.
Qophelowalksbacktotheloungeandtel
lsmethat
hisf
atheriscal
li
ngmet othebedroom.Hetakes
somethingoutofthefr
idge,ayoghur
t,gr
abstwo
spoonsandsitswithhi
ssister
.He’ssuchagood
brot
her,pr
otect
iveli
keMazwakhe.

Iwal
kinsi
dethemainbedr
oom andf
indhi
m si
tt
ing
onbed.Imakemysel
fcomfor
tabl
eonhisl
apand
askwhat’
sgoi
ngon.
“
Thi
ngshavebeenhect
ic,
Imi
ssbei
ngwi
thyou,
”he
says.
Iwishther
ewassomet hi
ngIcoul
ddot
ohel
p.Ihat
e
seeinghi
m hel
plessl
iket
his.
“
Can’
ttheyshowyousomet
hing?
”Iask.
“
They’
reprotect
ingmeonpur pose.Mazwakhewi ll
f
indhi
m andbr i
nghim home.Wej ustdon’tknow
whati
t’
sgoingtotake,andt
hat’swhatfrustrat
es
memor et
hananyt hi
ng.”
“
Whyhi
m?”Iask.
“
Becausehe’
stheel
dest
.”
“Whatareyoubei
ngprot
ect
edfr
om? ”Thi
sis
conf
using.Doest
hismeanMazwakheisbei
ng
sacr
if
iced?
“
Ihavetobepureforyou,”hesayswithhishand
massagi
ngmear oundthewai st
.Ihopehe’snot
t
hinki
ngaboutsex,Sangoisjustaroom away.
“Ican’
tgoaroundat
tachi
ngbadspi
ri
tsandcomi
ng
homet oyouandher,
”hesays.
Yes,If
ail
edmyfir
staudit
ionofboxi
ngcl
assi
nhi
gh
schoolbuthemust
n’tt
estme.Ngalusami
na!
“
Whoi
sher
?”Iaskwi
thmyeyesnar
rowedathi
m.
Insteadofanswer
ing,
hefl
ipsmeoverandput
sme
ont hepi
ll
ow.I’
mfuming,
heneedstogivemethe
bitch’
sname.
“
Somet
hinghappened,
”hesays.
OhLor
d,hemadeherpr
egnant
.
“Whathappened?
”Thesharpnessofmyvoi
ceal
one
canstabsomeoneandputshiminICU.
Heki
ssesme.Thi
sguydoesn’
tknowwhoIam.
“
Ngcwet
hi!
”Ir
ollmyf
istandshowi
ttohi
m.
Yes,
Icanbedanger
ousl
iket
hat
.
“
Oneofmyseedsr
efusedt
oleaveyourwomb.
”
Thisman, hethi
nkshe’sgoi
ngtochangethe
subjectjustli
kethat
?No, t
hisi
sn’
taboutt
hedamn
plants.I
t’snotaboutseeds!
“
Iwantt
het
rut
h,”Isay.
“
Thet
rut
his,
youar
epr
egnant
.”
Me?Hecan’
tbeser
ious.
“Doyouliveinmywomb?”Iask.IfIwaspregnantI
would’
veknown.Ther
emust ’
vebeensomet hing,a
babykickoranymovement.Somethingwasgoi ng
tohappen,li
kemyperi
odsstoppi
……Myper iods!
“Ngcwethi
”I’
m almostyel
li
ng.Ipushhi
m of
fmy
chestandsitup.Mymouthi sdr
iert
hanKhet
hil
e’
s
bankaccount.
“
Didyoudoi
tonpur
pose?
”Iask.
“
Noooo!
”
“
Whyar
eyousmi
li
ng?
”
“
BabeI
’
mjust
….ar
eyouangr
yatme?
”
Obviously,I
’m angry.Hesaidnothi
ngwasgoingto
happenandIt houghthi sancest
orsweregoi
ngto
comeonboar dwi thundergr
oundcondomsthat
aren’
tvisibl
etot henakedeye.
Ican’
tbeli
evemyownancest
orst
oo,
especi
all
ymy
mother.
Ial
waystalkaboutmydr
eam off
indi
ngajob,get
marri
edandhavemyownmoneybef orebecoming
amother.Theyhadonej
ob,
onlyone,t
omakesur e
thatIdon’tgetpregnant.Andt hey’
vefail
edme.I
willexcusemyf ather
, he’ssti
llanewbieint
he
ancestralworld,
probabl ysti
llaski
nghisway
aroundt otheancestralshopsandst uff
.Butmy
mot her,Ir
efusetounder stand.
“
Youdon’ twantt ohavemychi l
dren?”Hesounds
woundedandI ’
mj ustappal
ledbyhisabili
tyt
o
makeever yt
hingabouthi msel
f.Can’tIcr
yovermy
t
inywaistthat’
saboutt obedestroyedinpeace?
“Yousaidnothi
ngwasgoi ngtohappen.Mazwakhe
i
sgoi ngtobedisappoi
ntedi nme.Heempt i
edhis
pocketstopayformystudi es.Hewant edmeto
haveadecentjobandaf fordanythingIwant.And
nowI ’
mjustgoingtobeadependi ngvil
lagewif
e,
rai
singki
dswi t
hat r
adecer ti
fi
catelyi
ngont he
dust.”
“You’
renotgoi
ngtobeavill
agewif
e,Iknowyou’
re
capabl
eofmor e.Whenourchi
ldi
sgrownyoucan
dowhateveryouwant,
”hesays.
“
Whenwi
lli
tgr
ow?1year
?3year
s?5year
s?”
Hedoesn’
tknow.I
nMaMbonambi
’
seyeshe’
sal
so
achi
ldandshe’sbeenamothersinceshegave
bi
rt
htohim.There’
snobreakinthist
hing,
onceyou
ar
einyouarein.
“Whenwemoveintoourhouse,ar
eyougoingto
hir
eanannyt
olookaft
erthebabysothatIcanl
ook
foraj
ob?”
“
Letsomeoneel
sel
ookaf
termychi
ld?No.
”
Ist
areathi
m.Hehol
dsmyhands.
“
I’
m goi
ngt
otakecar
eofyou.
”
Ur
gh!Hedoesn’
tgeti
t.
“
Zanamuhla…….
whereareyougoing?”Hecat
ches
mebefor
eImakeitoutofthedoor.
“
WhatNgcwet
hi?What
?”
“
Thankyou,
”hesays.
“
Forwhat
?”Iask.
“Formaki
ngmeaf ather
.Idon’
tknowifItel
lyou
thi
senough,butIloveyouZolwandl
e.You’r
ethe
bestt
hingthathaseverhappenedtome.Nomat ter
whatIgothrough,cominghomet oyoumakes
ever
ythi
ngokay.
”
“
Areyout
ryi
ngt
osof
tenmeup?
”Iask.
“
No,
Imeani
t.Il
oveyoumor
ethanyout
hink.
”
“
Iloveyout
oo,
”Isay.
Fuckyoumout
h,I
’
m st
il
langr
yathi
m!
“Don’
tbesof tonthem.”He’
stalki
ngabouttheki
ds.
Iknowt hatQophelowil
lbehave,t
hetr
oublemakeri
s
thatl
it
tl
epr i
ncessCinder
ell
a.
“
Idon’twantanyt
hingt
ohappent
omybr
other
,”I
t
ellhi
m.
IknowthatMazwakheisgoingtogi
veat t
it
ude
whenhef i
ndsoutaboutthepr
egnancy,butIst
il
l
needhimtobearoundtomeethisnieceornephew.
Ihavenodoubtthathe’
l
lbeagreatuncle.
‘
’
He’
smybr
othert
oo,
”hesays.
Ir
ollmyeyes.Mymot
hermadethi
sreal
lywei
rd.We
ar
eshari
ngabedandabrot
her.

*
**
Mazwakhe

Hedeci
dedonthel
astmi
nut
ethathewast
aki
ng
t
heboywithhi
m.
“
Iwi
llgowi
thhi
m,”hesai
d.
Theyalllookedathiml i
kehewascrazy.Ndlela
advisedhim onwhatt odoandhowt odoit
.Theboy
wassupposedt obetakenbacktoNgudwiniafter
theygotMnot ho.Hewast hei
rconnect
ionand
assurancethatMnothowoul dcomehomeal ive.
ButMazwakhewasnotdi scussi
ng,
hewastel
li
ng
them andonceheputshismindonsomet
hing
nobodytel
lshim ot
her
wise.

Theboywascalmed.Het akeshi
m outoft
hecar,
put
shim overhi
sshoulderandenter
sMoyana’
s
homest
eadf ort
hesecondtimeinoneweek.
Thewomani ssi
tt
ingout
side,
undertheshadeof
tr
ee.Todayshel
ooksli
keanold,f
ragil
ewoman.
Herwalki
ngsti
ckisl
yingnextt
oher
,ther
e’sabot
tl
e
ofsnuf
fnearher.
“
IsKhwezihome?
”heasks.
Well
,shedoesn’
ttalkt
oboyswi
thnor
espect
.Her
eyesareonhergrandson.
“
Mnot
ho,
ist
hisyou?Youar
ehome,
khehl
a?”
Theboydoesn’
tsayanythi
ng,he’
sjustst
ari
ngat
herl
ikehe’
sneverseenherbef
ore.
Khwezicomesoutofthehouse,
shestandswi
thher
ar
msf ol
dedandlooksatMazwakhe.
“Youneedmyhelp?”Herwor
dsareaccompani
ed
byanunderl
yingat
ti
tude,
whichi
sunli
keher
.
“
Yes,
”Mazwakhesays.
Shelooksatt
hewoman,disappearsi nsi
dethe
houseandcomebackwithabl anket.Sheputsit
aroundthewoman’
sshouldersandsi gnal
sto
Mazwakhethathemustfoll
owheri nsidethehouse.
“
Whathappened?
”sheasks.
“
DoyouknowSol
omon?
”Mazwakhe.
“Yes,
hewasmyhusband’
sbr
otherandI
’
m aware
ofwhatwasdonet
omyson.Iknowever
ythi
ng,
”
shesays.
“Fuck,
andyou’rest
il
lher
e?”Thi
sgi
rli
sbewitched
andwhenMnot hocomesback,hebet
terpl
ayfar
awayfrom her
.
“
Youwon’
tunder
stand,
”shesays.
Well
,sheisright
,hewon’tunderst
and.Nobody
would.Whobecomesawi l
li
ngslaveofwitchcraf
tor
whatevershadybusi
nessthisfamil
yisinvolvedi
n?
Shehasachancet oleave,t
hehusbanddi ed.Thi
s
wri
nkledwomancan’tdoshi tt
ostopher.Butshe’s
st
il
lhere,act
ingli
keasuperwoman.
“
Takemet oMkhul
uMoyana’spal
ace,
wherehe
i
nit
iat
espeopl
e,
”hesayswhathecametosay.
“
IfIgot
her
eIwon’
tcomeback.
”
“
Meani
ng?
”heasks.
Shedoesn’texpl
ain.Hermindisoccupi
edwit
hdeep
thought
s.She’si
nabat tl
ewithherhear
tandmind.
“
Iwi
llpl
aceMnot
ho’
sdocument
ssomewher
esaf
e,
pleasegivemeaf ewmi nutes,
”shesaysandwal ks
out.Mnot hojumpsof fMazwakhe’ sar
msandr uns
afterher
.I t
’sst
rangehowhe’ snotshowingany
excitementseeinghisfami l
yaft
erbeingtakenby
stranger
s.Notevenhi smot her,he’
sbeenin
Mazwakhe’ sarmsj ustl
isteni
ngandst ar
ing.
Khweziisalsonotbeingamother.Shecoul
d’ver
an
tothem,snatchedhimfrom Mazwakheandhugged
him.Thatwould’vebeennormal
.
“Hehast
ostay,
”Khwezisayswhent
heycomeback.
Mnothowal
kedinwit
hherandwenttost
and
behi
ndMazwakhe.
“It
oldyouthiswi
llbeanexchange,
nothinghas
changed.IgetmyMnotho,yougetyours,
”
Mazwakhesays.
“
You’
remaki
ngt
hishar
dert
hani
twi
llbe.
”
Heshr ugshisshoulder
sandscoopsMnot hotohis
shoulder.He’snotcompromising, t
hisboyist
he
onlyassurancehehast hathisbrotheriscoming
back.Whati fthewit
chsitt
ingout si
dehideshi
m
whent heyleaveandtheydon’tfindMnot howhen
t
heygett
her
e?
Theyleavei
navan.Kwezii
sgivinghim di
rect
ions.
Heexpectedascar
ycaveinthemi ddl
eofnowher e,
butt
hey’rei
nacert
ainqui
etvil
lage.
Sheinst
ructsthattheyleavethecaratadistance
andconti
nuebyf oot.It
’salmost6atnoon, t
hey
havetocrossar i
verandwal kthroughthebush
befor
egettingtothebighomest eadhidi
ngbehind
tal
lgumtrees.That’
swher eMnot hoiskept
.

“Mama! ”t
heboyscreamsonMazwakhe’ sshoulder
.
Hel ooksbackal
armedbecauset heboyhasbeen
quietthewholej
ourney.Hi
m andKhwezihaven’t
sharedawor dsi
ncehear r
ived.
Khwezii
slyi
ngont
hegr
ound.Asnakei
scoi
led
ar
oundherleg.
“
Khwezi
!”heyel
ls.
She’
snotmovi
ng,
buthereyesar
eopened.
Heput
stheboydownandr
ushest
owar
dsher
.
“
Bhekani
,donotcomenear
!”shesaysbef
orehe
r
eachest
oher
.
“Bhekani
?”He’
sforgott
ent
hathet ol
dherhi
sname
wasBhekani.Andwhywouldshecont i
nuecal
li
ng
himthat,
knowingverywel
lthathewaslyi
ng?
“
Ididt
hisforMnotho.Goandgethim.Andplease
makesurethathemovesonandfindshappi
ness.”
“Khweziwhyar
eyoutal
kingli
kethi
s?Iwi
llgi
veyou
somethingt
oki
llt
hesnake’
spoison.
”
“No,Mnothowon’tletmego,
aslongasI’m
breat
hing.Todayoranyot
herday,i
twi
llendl
ike
thi
s.”
“Mama!”t
heboycall
s.He’
sst
il
lkeepi
nghi
s
dist
ancef
rom her
.
Shel
ooksatMazwakhe.
“Hewi l
lli
ve,
”she’
sr ef
err
ingt oherson.Shelooksat
him, cr
acksasmi l
eandcl oseshereyes.Thesnake
slowlyuntangl
esitsel
ffr
om herl egandsli
des
throughthegrassandleaves.
Hel
ooksbackwheret
heycomefr
om,i
t’
sbeena
l
ongj
ourney.Heal
sopromi
sedMaMbonambit
hat
hewasgoi ngt
ocomebackwi t
hherson.Hehas
neverbeenacowardinhisli
fe,butf
ight
ingwi
th
animalsi
sadiff
erentbat
tl
e.
Itget
sscaryandscar
ierasheappr
oacheshi
s
desti
nat
ion.

“Whoareyouandwhatdoyouwant?”t
hevoice
star
tl
eshi
m.Hecannotseeanyone,
butitf
eelsl
ike
ther
earepeopl
ewat
chinghi
m.
Hewr
apshi
sar
m ar
oundt
heboy.
“
Iwantmybr
other
,”hesays.
Si
lence.
Het
akesonest
epf
orwar
d,t
hevoi
cecomesagai
n.
“
Wedon’
trecogni
zeyou,
”itsays.
“
Fuckit
,Iwantmybr
other
.Showyour
sel
f,Iwantt
o
t
alk.
”
I
tgoessi
lentagai
n.
“
Ihaveyourson,
Mnotho,andIwantmybrot
her
,
Mnotho.Iknowt
hathe’
shere,
”hesays.
“Mnotho?”asksadwarfmanhedi
dn’
tseecoming.
He’
sst andi
nginfr
ontofhi
m wi
thaconf
usedlook
onhisface.
“
Mnotho,Moyana’
sson,i
shereonmyar
m.Mnot
ho
Mthembuisi
nsidet
here,
”hesays.
“
Ifhe’
snotaMoyanathenhe’
snotal
lowedt
oleave
t
hispl
ace,
”thedwar
fmansays.
“
Iwi
llkeept
hisonet
hen,
”Mazwakhesays.
“Youcan’
t,
he’
saMoyana,
hecan’
tli
veanywher
e
else.
”
“
Real
ly?I
’
vehadhi
mforaf
ewdaysandhel
ived.
”
“
What
???
”
Thest
arebat
tl
ebegi
ns!
Someoneisjoi
ningthem.Amanwithanormal
hei
ght
,weari
ngal eopardpr
int
edT-
shi
rtanddi
rt
y,
tor
ntr
ouser.
HestudiesMazwakhe’
sdar
ingf
aceandcl
ear
shi
s
t
hroat.
“
Whatdoyouhavet
oof
fer
?”heasks.
“Not
hing,
givememybr
otherandI
’
llgi
veyout
he
boy.
”
“
Wewantmor
ethant
hat
,”hesays.
“
Whatdoyouwant
?Abul
let
?”
Cl
ear
ly,
theywon’
treachcommongr ounds.He
want
swhathewantsandt heywantwhattheywant
.
Theyleavehi m unatt
endedanddi sappearbehi
nd
i
nsidethekr aal.Helooksar oundforsomewhereto
si
tandnot icessomet hingsli
dingonthegroundand
makingitswayt ooneoft hehouses.It
’st
hesame
snakethatbiteKhwezi .Helowlymumbl esacallt
o
hisancestors.

Afteraheatedar gumentandposi ti
ondi scussi
on
Mnot hoistoldtogot ohisbrotheroutsi
de.He’s
givenclearinstr
ucti
onsont het hi
ngsheshoul d
taketothegr avewit
hhi m.Asl i
poft onguemay
costhim mor ethanjusthisli
fe.
“
Areyouokay?
”Mazwakheasks.
“
Yes,
I’
m okay,
”hesays,
scr
atchi
ngt
hesi
deofhi
s
neckt
hati
sdar
kert
hananypar
tofhi
sbody.
Hesi ghsouti
nrel
ief
,butconcer
ndawnsbackon
hisfacewhenhelooksattheboy.They’
rewait
ing
forhimtobehandedover,itwasapromise.
“
Don’
tthi
nkabouti
t,
”Mnot
howar
ns.
Hedoesn’
trespond,
hekeepslooki
ngatt
heboyand
att
hedwarfmanwai ti
ngt
otakehim.
“
Let
’sl
eavebaf
o,”Mnot
hosays.
“
No,yougo.Thecari
ssomewher
eal
ongt
hegr
avel
r
oad.
”
“
Thi
sis….
”He’
sshutbyalook.Al
ookt
hatsays‘
thi
s
i
snotupf
ordi
scussi
on.
’
“Don’
tusetheroutecrossingther i
ver,goaround,
”
hesays.Hedoesn’tknowwhat ’sgoingtohappento
Khwezi’
sbody.Itmightbet here,i
tmi ghtnotbe
ther
e.Buthecan’tt
aket herisk,seeingherdead
bodymighttr
aumat i
sehi m mor ethanthenewsof
herdeat
h.
“
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
”Mnot
hoasks.
“
Mnot
hoyouwon’
tint
err
ogat
eme,
Isai
dgo.
”
Uneasi
ly,
Mnot
hot
urnsar
oundandl
eaves.

Mnothoisfinall
yinhisbedr
oom,flatasl
eepli
kehe
hasn’
tsleptfordays.MaMbonambii snotl
ett
ing
hi
ml eavehersight.She’
ssit
ti
ngonhi sbedwithher
handtenderl
ybr ushi
nghishead.
MazwakheintheloungeissurroundedbyNgcwet
hi,
Busi
khayaandMndeni .They’
rewaiti
ngfor‘
the
st
ory’
andhe’sjustfocusedonhisphone.
“Areyougoingtotel
lushoweveryt
hingwentdown
oryou’r
ejustgoi
ngtosextVuyi
swat hewhol
e
night
?”Mndeniasks.
“
Text
,notsext
,”hesays.
“
Ifi
t’
saboutsexi
t’
scal
ledsext
.”
“
Notever
ythi
ngi
saboutsexMndeni
.”
He’
dt akeitfurt
herandexpl ainhowuntruet
hat
st
atementi s,becauseeverythingboi
lsdowntosex
i
nlif
e, butBusikhayadist
urbshi m.
“
Whathappened?Hel
ooksokay,exceptf
ort
hat
t
hingonhi
sneck.Wasiteasy?
”heasks.
“No,Icoul
dn’
tsavetheboy,
”Mazwakhesays,
exhali
ngaheavybreat
h.
“
Itol
dyout
oleavehi
m behi
nd,
”Busi
khayasays.
“Thankyouformakingmefeelbet
ter
.Khweziwas
bit
tenbysnake,sobasi
cal
lyIcoul
dn’
tsavebothof
them.”
“
Isshedead?
”Mndeniasks,
alar
med.
“
YesandwhenMnot
howakesupIhavet
oexpl
ain
mysel
f.
”
“Afterput
ti
ngusthroughthi
s?He’llhavetogrowa
pairofmetalbal
lsbecauseI’
m donewi t
hhi s
tantrumsoverKhwezi.Atl
eastnowshe’ sreal
ly
dead. ”
Gasps!
“What?He’sanint
ell
igentboy,wit
habrightf
utur
e
andopportuni
ti
estogowher everhewantsanddo
whateverhewants.Thismoppingaroundand
whini
nghavetocomet oanend.”
“He’
sachi
ldBusi
khaya,
youf
orgett
hat
,”Ngcwet
hi
says.
Busikhayacli
ckshi
stongueandleaves.He’
shappy
Mnot hoishomeandsafe,buthe’
salsoannoyed
thattheyhadtogothr
oughthisbecauseofhis
stupi
dity.
“
Ihavetogosomewhere.Iwi
llcomebacki
nthe
morni
ng,
”Mazwakhesays.
“
Vuyi
swa?
”Mndenii
scur
iousasusual
.
“Yes,
Ipr
omisedhert
hatwe’
l
lspendti
met
oget
her
onceMnothocomeshome,
”hesays.
“
Takemycar
,”Ngcwet
hit
ell
shi
m.
“
No,
thevani
sfi
ne,
asl
ongasIgett
her
e.”
“I
fyousayso,
byt
hewayIhavesomegoodnewst
o
shar
e.”
Theyst
areathi
m.
“
Zanamuhl
aispr
egnant
,”hesays.
“
Andt
hegoodnews?
”Mazwakheasks.
“
That
’si
t,
”hesays.
Mazwakhepusheshisphonei
nthepocketand
makeshiswaytothedoor.
Heknewi twasgoingtohappenatsomepoi nt
, but
thi
sisnothowhesawhi ssi
sterendingup.He
wantedhertobemor ethanj
ustt hewi f
eofar ich
man’sson.Shewasdest i
nedforgr eatthings,
outsi
dethevil
lage,
somewherei nthecitieswithbig
shots.
“
You’vebeengoingraw?”Mndeniaskswhen
Mazwakhedisappears.
“
Ipai
dcowsf
ori
t,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
“
Ifshehear
syousayt
his,
ncncnc!
”
“I
’
dbedeadmeat.She’
dthr
owmet
hewhol
e‘my
body,
myrul
es’
speech.”
Theybur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
[
11/
19,
09:
55] :Chapt
erThi
rt
ySeven

Mazwakhe

Heparksbel
owanol d-
looki
ngbr
ickhouseandcal
ls
Vuyi
swa.Sheinsi
stedt
hathecomesher ei
nst
ead
ofthem meet
ingatthehotel
.Hedoesn’tneedto
guessthatt
hisisherpar
ents’house,t
hequesti
on
bother
inghi
mi s,whywouldsheinsistonbri
ngi
ng
hi
m here?
Shetel
lshimtocomethr
oughthegateandlet
himsel
finsi
de,
ofwhi
chherefusesandstaysi
nsi
de
thecar
.
“
Seri
ously?
”She’
swal
kingt
owardsthevan,wear
ing
afl
uff
lygownandapi
ssedlookonherface.
“
Whyam Iher
e?”Mazwakheasks.
“Youwantt ospendmoneyyoudon’ thavet osome
white-
ownedhot el
sinsteadofcomi ngher e?Come
on,let
’sgoinside,”shesays.I nhermi ndMazwakhe
i
sr eal
lystr
ugglingf i
nancially.Shehasst opped
hersel
ffrom sendinghi m moneyacoupl eoft i
mes.
Hersisterwoulddi eifshef oundoutt hatshe’
s
blessi
ngmenwi thmoney, becausei tshouldbethe
otherwayar ound.
“So,I’
m herebecauseI’
m……”Shet ur
nsaroundand
giveshim alooktonotevenstar
t.Hedoesn’
tneed
totakeeverythi
ngpersonalandshehasmadeit
cl
earwhatshewant
sfr
om t
hei
rrel
ati
onshi
p.
“Whoisher
e?”heasksasheput
sthef
ootont
he
stoep.
Bef
oreheswall
owshisquesti
onther
e’sawoman
st
andi
ngatthedoorandstar
ingathi
m.
Vuyiswahar dlytalksaboutherfamily,al
lheknows
i
st hatherparentsdi ed.Howshegr ewuphasnever
beenpar toftheirdiscussi
on.Heneverasked
becauseheal sodoesn’ ttal
kabouthi sbackgr
ound
thatmuch, mainlybecausehehat esvi si
ti
ngthe
‘
from Ngwanet oMt hembu’ st
ory.
“
Whatcari
sthat
?”t
hewomanasks.
Hethoughtshe’
ddemandt oknowhimfi
rst
,a
str
angeratt
hedoor.Butno,shewant
stoknow
aboutt
hecarparkedoutsi
dethegat
e.
“
Mazwakhe’
s,
”Vuyi
swasays.
“Lord!
”shesays,exhal
ingoutinf
rust
rat
ion,
and
disappear
sinsi
det hehouse.
I
t’
saboutt
hecarbei
ngavan,
right
?
“
Comei
n,”Vuyi
swasaysandsmi
lesf
aint
ly.
There’
sanot
hergi
rl
,ear
lyinhert
eens,
sit
ti
ngont
he
couchandwatchi
ngasitcom.
“
Got
oyourr
oom Aphi
we,
”Vuyi
swai
nst
ruct
s.
Thegirldoesn’
tlookhappy.Shepul
lsherface,
grabsherheadsetsfrom t
hetabl
eanddisappears.
He’
suncomfort
abl
eandshecanseeit.Sheasks
hi
mt osi
tonthecouchandf
etchesaglassofj
uice.
“
I’
m comingback,
”shesaysaft
erput
ti
ngthejui
ce
i
nfrontofhi
m anddi
sappear
sinoneoftherooms.

There’
sanargument.It
’snotabouthim bei
ngint
he
house,
butaboutt
hecarhecamedr ivi
ngbeinga
van.Hedoesn’
tmind,unti
lacommentabout
someonenamedNhl akaismentioned.
“Nhl
akawasbett
erthant
his.I
sheagar
deneror
somethi
ng?
”asksthewoman.
“Idon’
tcareNcami,allI
’
m aski
ngfrom youi
sthat
youdon’tsayanyt
hingthatwil
lmakehim
uncomfortabl
e,
”Vuyiswaisbeggi
ng.
Het
hinksaboutl
eavi
ng,
butt
hel
it
tl
egi
rlwal
ksback
i
n.
“
CanIwat
chTheGoodPl
ace?
”
Hel
ooksatherandf
indsherst
ari
ngr
ightathi
m.
“Yes,
”hesaysbecauseshe’
swaiti
ngf
orananswer
andhecan’tdenyherTVinherownhome.
“Thankyou,
”shesayssit
ti
ngonthecouchand
grabbi
ngtheremote.I
t’
sthesamethi
ngtheyf
ound
herwatchi
ng.
WhenVuyiswacomesbackshef i
ndshersi ster’
s
l
it
tlebr
atsit
ti
ngonthecouch, watchinghersill
y
si
tcom onmaximum volume.Shegr abstheremot e
fr
om herhandandswitchesitof
f.She’spissed.
“Di
dn’
tIsaygotoyourr
oom?
”sheaskswi
thher
handsonthehi
ps.
“Iaskedandhesai
dIcanwat
ch,
”Aphi
wesays,
pointi
ngatMazwakhe.
“Donotmakemeangr y,got
oyourroom,youhave
schoolworktodo,
”shesayswi
thherfi
nger
point
ingather.
“
Thi
siswhyIhat
ebei
ngher
e.AuntPi
nkydoesn’
t
di
ctat
ewhatIdoinmyfat
her
’shouse,
”shesays
andstor
msoutofther
oom.
Itl
ooksthatt
hat
’st
heworstthi
ngshecoul
d’vesai
d,
especi
all
ymenti
oni
ngthePinkyper
son.
“Whatdidshesay?”thevoi
ceyel
lsf
rom t
heother
room.Inaspli
tsecondshe’si
nthesi
tt
ingroom.
There’
sabigwarcomi ng.
“
AuntyPinkynywenywe.Whati
sshest
il
ldoi
ngi
n
t
hathouse?”I
t’
sVuyiswa,
she’
sfumi
ng.
Theyfoll
oweachot hertotheroom Aphiwe
di
sappear edto.Thenoiseisloudenought oget
nei
ghbour sont hei
rfences,butthey’
renowusedt o
i
t.Ifi
t’
snotNcamsi l
efighti
ngwithVuyiswa, i
t’
s
bothofthem fighti
ngagainstsomeoneel se.They
havelearntnottomi ndtheNgema’ sbusiness.

Aft
eral
otofshout
ingandscoldi
ngthechi
ld
Vuyi
swafi
nal
lywalksoutoft
heroom.
“I
’m goi
ngtodishandwe’
lleati
nmybedr
oom,
”she
saysandleaveshi
m al
one,agai
n.
Ncamiwal ksoutandstandsatt hepassage,stari
ng
atMazwakhe.Shedoesn’ tl
ikehim,notevenonebit.
Hersisterdeservesbet
ter,someonedrivi
ngani ce
car
,whocant akecareofherandt akehertoplaces.
Notthisguywear ingatrackpantandcheapT-shirt
.
“
Whatdoyoudof
oral
ivi
ng?
”sheaskshi
m.
“
I’
m apl
umber
,butI
’
m notempl
oyedatt
he
moment
.”
“Howareyougoi
ngtotakecar
eofmysi
steri
f
you’
renotempl
oyed?
”sheasks.
“
I’
m aman,
Imakepl
ans,
”hesays.
“Makepl anstolookmor edecentandchanget hat
thi
ngyoucal lacar.Vuyiswaisabeaut ifulgir
l,she’
s
wayt oobeautif
ultojustset
tl
ef orthis,
”shesays,
wavingherhandar ound.Shecoul d’vepointed
dir
ectlyathimifhedidn’tl
ooklikeaser i
alkill
er.
Vuyiswawalksinwithaplatei
nherhand.Shelooks
athersi
sterandatMazwakhef ort
heheads-up,but
nei
therofthem saysanyt
hing.
“
Isever
ythi
ngal
ri
ght
?”sheasks.
“
IfI
’m notbackinthemor ningprepareherschool
l
unchformeandgi veherR18f orthetaxi
,Iwil
lpay
i
tback,”Ncamisaysandl eaves.
Vuyi
swastar
esatMazwakhe,hopi
nghe’llsay
somethi
ngbuthedoesn’
tsayanyt
hing.

Shebroughtt
wospoons, hopi
ngt hey’l
leattoget
her
.
SheisnotagreatcookbutwhenMazwakhecal l
ed
andsaidhewascomi ngtoher,sheconsul t
ed
Googleforaf
ewr eci
pes.Herchickenlooks
del
ici
ousbuthehasnoappet i
te.Hej ustsi
tsonbed
andwatchhereat.
“
Whatdi
dshesay?
”shebr
eakst
hesi
lence.
“
Who?
”heasks.
“
Mysi
ster
.”
“
Not
hing.Whyar
eyouaski
ng?
”
“
Youdon’
tlookokay.
”
“
I’
mjustt
ir
ed,
”hesays.
Sheplanstoconfr
ontNcamiwhensher eturnsthe
pl
atetotheki
tchen,butshehasal
readyleftandher
phoneisri
ngi
ngunanswer ed.
Shechecksonhernieceandgoesbackt
oher
bedroom.Mazwakheisundercover
swit
hhi
s
cl
otheson.
Shefr
owns.Whati swrongwi t
hhim?Theytal
ked
andagreed.Thi
sisthenightofpr
omises.
Sheget
sonbedhal
fnaked.
“
Vuyi
swadr
essup,
”hesays.
“
Forwhat
?I’
m sl
eepi
ngwi
thmyboyf
ri
end.
”
“You’
regoi
ngtot
emptmeandIcan’tdoanyt
hingt
o
youwhil
ewe’r
einyourpar
ent
s’house.
”
“Sowhat
?Ihavebr
ought
…..
”shecl
ear
shert
hroat
andst
ops.
“
I’
m notNhl
aka,
”hesays.
Heheardtheconver
sation,
herhear
tsi
nks.Maybe
t
hehotelwasagoodi dea.
“
Vuyi
swacomeher
e,”hesaysandst
ret
cheshi
s
arm.Thelastt
hingtheybothdon’twanti
stofi
ght
becauseofwhatotherpeoplesayandthi
nk.
“
Iloveyou,
”hesays.
Ther
e’sa‘
but
’,
soshewai
tsf
orhi
mtocont
inue.
“
ButIcannotstandt
heinsul
ts,
eit
herf
rom my
f
amil
ytoyouoryourf ami
lyt
ome.Iwillf
li
pandi
t
won’
tendwell,
”hesays.
Sher
emai
nsst
il
landqui
et.
“Iwantustot
aket hi
ngseasy.Idon’
twantyouto
comeattheMt hembusyet.AndIdon’twantt
obe
here,
”hecont
inues.
“So,wemeetatthehotels?Behindtrees?Andfuck
i
nt hecar?
”sheasks,clearl
yfrust
rat
ed.Ncami
alwaystel
lsheraboutdif
fi
cult
iesofdatingaguy
whodoesn’thavehispersonalspace.She’dusethi
s
asthetesti
mony.
“
I’
m goingt
omakeaplan.Ifi
tmeansIhavet
orent
ashacksomewher
e,Iwi
lldoit
,”hesays.
“I
fthat’
sgoingtomakeyouhappy,
”shesaysand
shrugshershoulder
s.
Sheswi
tchesofft
heli
ght
sandl
iesonherpi
ll
ow,
st
ari
ngupinthedark.
“
CanIgetaki
ss?
”Mazwakheasks.
“
Sleep,
yousai
dyou’
ret
ir
ed.
”

Theyweren’
tonspeaki
ngtermswhent heysl
ept
,
butwhenVuyiswaopenshereyesinthemorni
ng
she’
swrappedonahar dchestbyst
rongarms.
“Whatdi
dyouseei
nme?
’Ist
hequest
ionwaki
ng
herup.
Sheyawnsandki
sseshi
scheek.
“Normalpeopl
esay‘
goodmor
ningmyl
ove,
”she
says.
Hejuststar
esather
,sher
eal
izest
hatshe’snot
goi
ngt ogeta‘
goodmorni
ng’andanswershis
quest
ion.
“
Isawmyendandbegi
nni
ng,
”shesays.
Heexhal
esandrunshisfi
ngeroverhereyebr
ows.
I
t’
sscaryt
hatagir
lli
kethi
sjustsawhim andfel
lin
l
ovewi t
hhi
m.It’
sevenmorescarythatshe’
s
unapol
oget
icaboutherl
oveandshe’ddoanythi
ng
forhi
m.

*
***

Zanamuhl
a

Wear ebackinthevi
ll
age.I’
llguessthati
twasn’
t
toodif
fi
cultget
ti
ngMnothoback.Det ail
softhe
stor
yarenotshared.Mnothoi sact
ingasifnot
hing
happened,soIguesswear ejustmovingon.
Looki
ngaft
ertheki
sdswasn’tbadasIt hought
.
Qophel
odidallt
herepr
imanding,
allIhadtodowas
makefoodavail
abl
e.
Busikhayaisnotatwork.Per
ksofbei
ngtheheadof
thefamily.He’
snotsi
ck,ever
yonewenttowork,
i
ncludingMnotho,andhe’sherewat
chi
ngcart
oons.
“
Youwat
chLi
onGuar
d?”Iask.
“
Whati
sthat
?”Hef
rowns.
“
Thet
hingyou’
rewat
chi
ng,
”Isay.
“No,I
’mjustl
azyt
ofi
ndt
her
emot
eandchanget
he
channel
.”
Lazyt
ofi
ndt
her
emot
e?It
houghtI
’
vehear
dital
l.
“
Haveyout
alkedt
oMazwakhe?
”heasks.
“
No,
”Isay.
“
Heaskedmeforthej
ob,Igavehi
m oneandhe
t
urnedi
tdown,
”hesays.
“
Why?Hechangedhi
smi
nd?
”Iask.
“Hedoesn’twantanoff i
cejob.Hewantstobei n
thesun,runni
ngafterthetr
ucksandget t
ingdirt
y.”
Hisfancyselfi
sclearl
yconf usedbythi
s.Icannot
i
magi neMazwakhesi t
tingintheoff
ice,
drinki
ng
coff
eeandanswer ingbusinesscall
s.
“
Thengi
vehi
mthej
obhewant
s,”Isay.
“
He’
saMt
hembu,
”hesays.
Iwasn’
tawar
ethattheysharet
hesamesur
name
wit
hGod.He’
saMt hembu, sowhat
?Theworl
d
won’
tcomet
oanendbecauseoneoft
hem i
sdoi
ng
t
hehardwor
k.

Iknockathi
sdoorforagoodwhil
ebefor
eheopens.
Hereall
yneedstogetbusywit
hsomethi
ng,i
t’
s
almost9am andhehasn’
tevenwokenuptomake
hisbed.
“Howareyou?
”Iaskandmakemysel
fcomf
ort
abl
e
onbed.
“Good,”hesaysandt
akeshi
sphoneoutoft
he
charger.
He’
sgoi
ngt
ofocusonhi
sphoneandi
gnor
eme?
“
Mazwakhe!
”
“
Whatdoyouwant
?”
Al
ri
ght
,Idi
dsomet
hingwr
ong.
“
Whatdi
dIdo?
”Iask.
“
Youar
epr
egnant
?”
Oh,
that
……!
“
I’
m sor
ry,
”Isay.
“
Whyar
eyousor
ry?Wasi
tami
stake?
”
“
Obvi
ousl
y,
”Isayandshr
ugmyshoul
der
s.
Heputst
hephoneawayandlooksatme.I
’
ma
di
sappoi
ntment
,it
’swr
it
tenonhi
sface.
“
Itwasn’
tenough,
wasi
t?”
I
’
m notsur
ewhathe’
stal
kingabout
.
“Mom would’
vedoneabet t
erjob.Obviously,my
acti
onsdi
dn’tspeakenough,youneededr ealwords,
someonetosityoudownandhavet hesext al
kwith
you.Iwasnotbraveenoughtodoi t
.”
“Mazwakheyouraisedmewel l
.Atschoolwel
earnt
aboutthi
ngs,
”Isay,hopi
ngitwil
lmakehimfeel
bett
er.Hedidhi
sbest.Hereal
lydid.
“Youdid,butitwasn’
tenough.I
fitwas,
you
wouldn’thavefal
lenpr
egnantbefor
eachievi
ngyour
dreams,”hesays.
“
Iwascar
eless,
”Isay.
“
Youwoul
dn’
thaveaf
for
dedt
obecar
elessi
fyou
hadyourpr
ior
it
iesst
rai
ght
,’
hesays.
I
’m offi
cial
lybacki
ngdownf rom t
his.He’snotgoi
ng
t
ochangehi smindset
,ifanyt
hinghe’l
lchangeit
’s
myf ace.
“
Howi
sVuyi
swa?
”Ichanget
hesubj
ect
.
“
She’
sfi
ne,
”hesays.
Where’
stheusualsmi
le?Hi
sli
psvisi
thi
sear
s
ever
yti
mesomeonement i
onshername.
“
Didyouguysf
ight
?”Iask.
“No,i
t’
sjustt
hatIfeelli
keIcanneverbewhatshe
deser
ves.Icannotgivehert
hewor l
dshefi
tsin,
”he
says.
Thi
sist
hefi
rstt
imehe’
sdi
scussi
nghi
spr
ivat
eli
fe
wit
hme.He’
sannoyi
ngl
ypri
vate.
“Whi
chworldi
sthat?Vuyi
swawi l
lgowit
hyou
wher
everyougo.TheVuyiswa-
worldcametoan
endt
hedayshemetyou, you’
rehernewbegi
nni
ng.
”
“
Didshet
ellyout
his?
”
Real
ly?Ir
ollmyeyes.
“Someofuswerebornclever
,weseeand
under
standt
hings,
”Isay.
“Youwouldn’
tbepr egnantifyouwereclever
.He’s
i
nt heof
fi
ce,dri
vingexpensivecarsandlivi
ngthe
l
ifeofhi
sdreams.You, clever,
you’r
esit
tingher
e
withababyinyourst omach,waiti
ngforhimto
comehomeandf uckyouagai n.”
Wow!
“
Whyar
eyoucr
ying?Tear
sofj
oy,
maybe.
”
Idon’
trespond,If
indt
hewaythatgotmei
nsi
de
andheadt oNgcwethi
’
shouse.
“What
’swr
ong?”Busi
khayaasksf
rom t
hever
anda
oft
hemainhouse.
I
t’
shi
sbr
other
s.Ngcwet
hiandMazwakhe.

*
***
*

Mndeni
Heskippedt hreehoursatwor kanddroveto
Lakevi
ewHot el.5pm would’
vebeentoolat
e,he
neededNandiandsheneededhi m.I
tbeganwi t
ha
vi
deo-call
,shewasonl yinherunder
wear,the
conversat
ionst art
edwi t
hthemosquitobit
esand
endedwi t
hherst r
ippi
ngnaked.

She’sl
yingonbedwi t
hherl
egthrownoverhi
m.
He’snaked,sweat
yandpanti
ng.Hisar
mi saround
hershoulder,
hekeepski
ssi
ngthetopofherhead
andremindingherhowmuchhelovesher.
“Howlongar ewegoi ngtousethecondom?”Her
questi
onconf useshim.Peoplest
opusingcondoms?
Thelastti
mehecheckedshewasn’ tver
ysure
aboutthei
rfutureandherinsecur
it
iesst
emmed
fr
om herlastrelat
ionshi
p.
“
WhatdoyoumeanNandi
?”heasks.
“
Iwantt
ohaveababywi
thyou,
”shesays.
“Ababy???
”Hewouldhavefai
ntedifhewasnoton
bed.He’
stooyoungtobecomeafatherandababy
i
snotsomet hi
ngheplansonmakinganyti
mesoon.
Awhol
ebaby!
“Yes,Iwanttostartmyownfamil
ywi
thyou.
”She’
s
seri
ous.Sher eachest
oherbagandt
akesoutt
he
packetofpil
ls.
“
I’
m get
ti
ngr
idoft
his,
”shesays.
“
Thosear
econt
racept
ives?
”
“
Yes,
andwear
eget
ti
ngr
idofcondoms.
”
“No,I’
m nothavi
ngababyandI’
m def
ini
tel
ynot
goingrawwithyou,
”hesays.
“
Idon’tunderst
and,
”shesays.Herl
ipsar
equi
ver
ing,
l
iqui
disfil
li
nguphereyes.
“
I’
m notr
eadyt
obecomeaf
ather
,”hesays.
“Why?You’ renotgoingtobepregnant,
Iwil
lbe.I
willchangethediapers,
stayupatnightand
breastfeed.Al
lyouhavet odoi
spr ovi
deforusand
protectus.”
“
Sti
ll
,no,
”hesays.
“
Okay,”shesaysandgr
abshercl
othesf
rom t
he
f
loor
.
Hereal
izeswhat
’saboutt
ohappenandj
umpsof
f
bedtoher.
“
NandiIl
oveyou,
”hesays.
“
Butnotenought
ohavechi
ldr
enwi
thme?
”
Hegr
absthecl
othesf
rom herhandsandt
hrows
t
hem ont
hefl
oor.
“Il
oveyouenough, comehere.”Hepul l
sherbackto
bed,pusheshertoliedownandstandsoverher .He
l
ovesher ,i
nhismindhe’ssureofthat.Hecan’t
pointatanythi
ngandsay‘Il
oveherbecauseoft hi
s’
butthatdoesn’tmeananyt
hing.He’skeepi
ngher .
“
Whenam Iseei
ngyouagai
n?Wecanconcl
udet
his
t
alkt
hen,
”heasks.
“
I’
mfr
eeonSunday,
”shesays,
abi
tcal
m.
“Wewi l
ltal
k,okay?
”Heleansdowntoherli
psand
brushesthem.“CanIhavethel
astone?Jamais
sti
llup.
”
“
You’ret
roubl
e,
”shesayswi
thasmi
leescapi
ngher
l
ips.
“
It
’syourf
aul
t,i
t’
syouwho’
shot
.”Hi
shandt
ravel
s
downtohert
highs,
itdi
videst
hem andbr
ushes
bet
weenherfol
ds.
“Getmewat
er,
I’
mthi
rst
y,”shesaysbet
weent
he
kisses.
“
Don’
tyouwantt
odr
ink……………”
“
Mndeni
,I
’m ser
ious,
”shesaysandl
aughs.
Hechucklesandsl
idesoffher
.Whenhedi sappear
s
shesneaksinsi
deherbagandtakesasafetypin.
Shepokesthecondom foi
landputsi
tbackwher eit
was.
Hecomesbackwit
habottl
eofwaterandopensi
t
f
orher
.Shetakesasmal
lsipandsmil
es.
“Wher
ewer
ewe?
”sheasksandget
shi
sshaf
tinher
hand.
“
Wewer e…..
.her
e,”hesaysandsneakshi
sfi
nger
i
nsideher
.Shereleasesamoanandopensherlegs
wider
.
Hegrabst
hecondom l
yingnextt
oherpi
ll
owand
t
ear
st hef
oilwi
thhi
steeth.
Hi
sphoner
ings.
Ngcwet
hi.
Damni
t!
[
11/
19,
09:
56] :Chapt
erThi
rt
yEi
ght

Mazwakhe

MaMbonambil ef
tearl
yinthemorni
ngtodoher
thi
ngs.She’snol
ongertheonl
yfemalef
igur
eint
he
famil
y,Zanamuhl
aisthereandshetr
ust
sherwit
h
hersons.
Thesituat
ionbet
weenMazwakheandZanamuhl
a
hasbroughtawkwardnesst
othet
abl
e.Br
eakf
asti
s
tense.
“I
’
m goi
ngtoeati
nthebedroom,”Zanamuhl
asays,
pi
cki
ngherpl
ateandl
eavingthetabl
e.
Theyl
ookatMazwakhe, hopi
ngthathe’llsay
somethi
ng,
hissi
lenttr
eatmenti
sobvi ously
aff
ect
inghi
ssist
er.Buthedoesn’tsayanyt hi
ng.
“
Didyout
hinkaboutwhatyouwantt
odo?
”
Busikhayaasks,
redi
rect
ingt
heat
mospher
eint
he
room.
“Mndenisai
dther
e’sanext
rat
ract
or,
”Mazwakhe
says.
“Dri
ver?”Mnothoasks.He’sbackatbei
nghimself.
Theyhaven’tt
alkedaboutKhwezi,hehasn’
tasked
andMazwakhehasn’ tpluckedenoughcour
aget o
confess.
“Yes,
whynot
?”Mazwakhesays,
shr
uggi
nghi
s
shoul
der
s.
“
It
’sbadf
orouri
mage,
”Mnot
hosays.
“
Idon’
tcar
eabouti
mages,
allIwanti
smoney.
”
“Iwi
lldr
awupacont
ract
.Ar
eyoucomi
ngi
ntoday?
”
Busi
khayaasks.
“
Yes,
”hesaysandnodshi
shead.
Onebyone, t
heyleavethetable.Busikhayais
rushinghiskidstoschool
, Mndenihast opassby
Nandibef or
eproceedingtowor k.Yesterdayt
hey
wer edist
urbedbyNgcwet hi’
scallwhowas
t
hr eateni
ngtofir
eMndenii fhedidn’tshowupt o
thei
rmeeting.Hehadtoleaver
ightaway,
leavi
ng
herarousedandpissed.
“Andyou?”Mnothoasks,l
ooki
ngatNgcwet
hiwho’
s
sti
lli
nhi
ssleepi
ngshorts.
“
I’
llbeal
it
tl
ebi
tlat
e,”hesays.
“
Mor
ningpl
answi
tht
hewi
fe?
”
Hejustshr
ugshisshoulders.Mnothol
eaves
wit
houtaski
nganyf urt
herquest
ions.Mazwakheis
acr
ossthetable,
sti
rri
nghisteawithhi
seyesfixed
onNgcwethi.
“
Canwet
alkaboutt
his?
”Ngcwet
hiasks.
“
About
?”Hesnapshi
sbr
ows.
“Zanamuhl a’
spregnancy.Icanseethatit
’sget
ti
ng
betweenus.Fi r
stofall
,IloveherandIthi
nkyou
knowt hatbynow.I’m getti
ngmarri
edtothisgi
rl
,
obviousl
ywear einti
mat eandtherear
echancesof
athirdpersonpoppingup. ”
Hedoesn’
tsayanyt
hing.Hejustdipsapi
eceof
br
eadinsi
dethecupofteaandbites.
“
I’
m aski
ngyout
ount
ieyourhear
t.Idon’
twanther
t
obesad,it
’sgoi
ngt
oaf
fectbot
hherandt
hebaby,
”
Ngcwet
hisays.
“Whatexactl
ydoyouwantmet
odo?Congrat
ulat
e
her?Brushhert
ummyandmassageherf
eet?
”he
asks.
“Unti
eyourheart
.I’m notaskingthi
sasher‘ri
ch
husbandwho’sdrivi
ngexpensi vecarsandli
vinghi
s
dream.’
I’
m aski
ngasaf athertoanuncle,
”
Ngcwethisays.
“Mxm!”Heclickshi
stongue,
pushesof
fthechai
r
andleaves.

Zanamuhl
a

WhenIli
ftupmyheadhe’
sstandi
ngbythedoor
andst
ari
ngatme.Ishepl
anningt
okil
lme?
“
Youdi
dn’
tfi
nishyourf
ood?
”heasksandwal
ksi
n.
He’
ssti
llnotr
eadyforwor
k.Iir
onedhisclot
hes
l
ongti
meago.Hi sl
unchispackedandready.
“
Ihavethewhol
edayt oeat
,butyoudon’thave
muchti
metogetdressedandgot owork,
”Isay.
Helooksathi
scl
othes,
let
soutasi
ghandl
ieson
bed.
‘
Ital
kedtoMazwakhe,
”hesays,
star
ingupatt
he
cei
li
ng.
“
Youshoul
dn’
thave,
youknowhowheget
s.”
I
’mtryi
ngnott
odwel lont
his,
butmyheartr
efuses
t
oletthi
ngssl
ide.Iwanthimtotal
ktome.Idon’t
wanthimtol
ookel sewher
eeveryt
imeoureyes
meet.
“
YeahIknow,
”hesays.
“
Whatdi
dhesay?
”Iask.
“
Hecl
ickedhi
stongueandl
eft
.”
Inodmyheadandheadt othebathroom.Tearsar
e
al
waysonst andby,Isinkonthefloorandlett
hem
fl
ow.Ifeelhi
m walkinginandstandingbesideme,
befor
eIcanpullmysel ft
ogetherhe’spul
ledmeup
andscoopedmei nhi sarms.
Heput
smeonbedandl
iesnextt
ome.
“
Idon’twantt
oleaveyoul
iket
his,
itwi
llaf
fectmeat
wor
k,”hesays.
“
Ipr
omi
seI
’
llbef
ine,
”Isay.
“
Butyou’
vebeencr
yingal
otsi
nceyest
erday.
”
Icuphisfaceinmyhandsandkisshisl
ips.He
worri
estoomuch.Hecan’tmissworkbecauseof
myweakemot i
ons.Atl
eastMazwakhewillbeat
workaswel l
,Iwon’
tbebumpingint
ohisicystar
es
ontheyard.
“Youfeelsowarm,”hesays.Hi
shandissli
ding
betweenmyt hi
ghs.Hehasnointent
ionsofgoi
ngt
o
work.
“
Got
owor
k,”Isay.
“Givemet
heenergytogo.”Hegrabsmyneckand
att
ackmewithawildkiss.Myl
egwr apsaround
him,hi
sfi
ngeri
ssli
dingundermypant y.
Ther
e’saknock……
“
Hlahl
a,”t
hevoi
cei
sri
ghtout
sidet
hedoor
.
Ipushhim of
fandadj
ustmydress.Hequi
ckl
y
changestohiswor
kclot
hesandheadsout
.
“
You’
rest
il
lher
e?”hi
svoi
ceasksNgcwet
hiout
side.
“
Yeah,
shoul
dIwai
tforyou?
”Ngcwet
hi.
“
No,
Iwi
llf
indmyway,
”hesays.
Ipul
lthebedli
nen,adj
ustt
hepi
ll
owsandchecki
f
Ngcwethidi
dn’
tleavehi
sunder
wearl
yingont
he
fl
oor
.Clear!
Iopenthedoorandfindhim wait
inginablue
overal
landhisl
unchtinwrappedwithaplast
ic.
There’
sabsolut
elynoreasonforhimtoconti
nue
l
ivi
ngliket
his.
“
Comei
n,”Isay.
Helooksatmel
ikeI
’
vej
usti
nsul
tedhi
swhol
e
exi
stence.
“
Insi
deyourbedr
oom?
”heaskswi
thhi
snose
wri
nkl
ed.
Hisissuesar
et oodeepf
orhumanunder
standi
ng.
It
’snotli
kehe’
llfi
ndNgcwet
hi’
speni
slyi
ngonthe
bed.
Ist
epoutandf
oll
owhi
mtot
hesi
tt
ingr
oom.
“I’
m goingtoworkatthefarm asatr
act or’
sdri
ver
.
It’
snotaper manentt
hing,assoonast hingscome
togetherI
’l
llooki
ntostar
ti
ngapl umbingcompany,”
hesays.
Iguesswear
egoodnow.
“
Congr
atul
ati
ons,
”Isay.
Hiseyeslandonmystomach,event
houghnot
hing
i
sshowi ngyetIdor
egr
etnotweari
ngagown.His
eyesareli
kesharpt
hor
ns.
“
Don’
tyougetsi
ck?
”heasks.
“
Sick?
”I’
mlost
.
Hesi
ghsandst
andsup.
“
Givemeyourbl
essi
ngs,
”hesays.
“Al
lthebest
,dr
ivecar
eful
ly,
”Isayandopenmy
arms.Heexhal
esandmakesaf acebef
ore
welcomingmyhug.
“Bri
ngmesomet
hingni
cewhenyoucomeback,
”I
say.
“
Whydi
dn’
tyouaskuBabakaSgubhu?
”
WTF?Hecan’
tcal
lmybabyt
hat
.
.
.
Mazwakhe

Hearrivedl ookingliket herestofthem.Wear i

nga
bl
ueover all
,hard-
boot sandcar ryi
ngaluncht i
nin
hi
shand.Hecoul d’vej ustputonasui tandwentt o
si
tatt heof fi
ceslikehi sbrothers.I
t’swi
thinhis
pri
vil
ege, Madodawor kedhar dforthem tolivea
fl
ashierlifethanhi m.Ther e’snodoubtthathe
would’ver efusedtol ethiseldestsonbecomea
dri
verinhi sownf ar m.Hewor kedhar dforthem t
o
bedifferentf r
om otherboys.
Busikhayaknowst
hat,
whichi
swhyhegavehim
thejobhewantedbutmadehi
ssal
aryequalt
oal
lof
them.
He’
sMazwakhe, hethi
nksanddoest
hingshisown
way.Hequesti
onedthecontr
act
.Hesaidhedidn’
t
wantfavour
s,butBusi
khayai
snodif
ferentf
rom
hi
m,hest
oodhi
sgr
oundandf
orcedhi
mtosi
gn.
Mostofthesepeopleknowhi m asaNgwane.They
hadhatedhim, f
orki
ll
ingtheirbossandcausing
havoci
nt hecommuni ty.Buthe’sneverbeena
peopl
e’
sper son,sononeoft hesefactor
smattert
o
hi
m.
Heputhi
slunchwher
eal
loft
hem putt
hei
rsand
wentt
ohistr
actor
.
“
Ndl
ondl
o!”heshout
ed.
Amanr ant
ohim,showedhi
m hiswor
ksect
ionand
i
ntr
oducedhimtohi
sco-wor
kers.

They’
vebeenwor kingsincemorning.Hedoesn’t
knowmostoft heirnames, sohecall
sthem Nduna.
Becausehecal lseveryoneNduna, t
heythen
deci
dedt ogivehimt hename.He’ salsol
ikethei
r
chi
ef,everyonemovesar oundwheneverheappears.
Nowhe’ snol ongerMazwakheorNgwaneor
Mthembu.Hei sNduna.
Hesi
tsundert
hetr
eeshadewi
thhi
sluncht
inonhi
s
l
apandcall
sVuyi
swa.
“
Sthandwasami
,
”hesayswhenshepi
cksup.
“It
houghtyou’
vedumpedme, marri
edsomevi
ll
age
gir
landlef
tthecount
ry,
”shesays.
“Al
linaspaceof5hour s?”Hi
sli
psst
ret
chintoa
smil
e.He’
sadi ff
erentper
sonwit
hher,l
essharsh
andabitt
alkat
ive.
“Youneverknow,somewomenarefastoutt
here.
You’dthinkyoust
il
lhaveamankant
ihe’
slong
gone,”shesays.
“HowcanIleavesomeonewhohasdonet
het
hings
you’
vedonetome? ”heasks.
“
Oh,
whatdi
dIdot
oyou?
”
Hescanshi
ssur
roundi
ngsbef
orer
espondi
ng.
“
Youswal
lowedmydi
ck,
”hesays.
Shebr
eaksi
ntol
aught
er.
“Thatwasn’
tevenabegi
nni
ng.Ihaven’
tstar
tedwi
th
youMazwi ,
thedayIr
idet
hatst
ubborndragonyou
won’
trememberevenyourdat
eofbi
rt
h.”
“
Idon’
tli
ket
hreat
sMsVuyi
swa,
”hesays.
“
Whoar
eyouwi
tht
her
e?”sheasks.
“
I’
m al
one,
”hesays.
“
Sneakyourhandi
nsi
deyourboxer
sandt
ouchhi
m
f
orme.”
“
Hhayi
-boVuyi
swa!
”heexcl
aimsandchuckl
es.
“
Runyourf
ingerovert
her
aphe,
”shesays.
“
VuyiswaI’
m sit
ti
ngunderthetr
ee,whatwil
lpeopl
e
t
hink?”He’
sneverbeenscandal
ous,hewouldn’
t
t
ouchhisfronti
napubli
cspacelikethi
s.
“
Findabat
hroom,
”shei
nst
ruct
s.
Helooksar
ound, peopl
ear
egat
her
edi
ngr
oupsand
havi
ngthei
rlunch.
Whatdi
dhegethi
msel
fint
o?
“I
’
mi nthebat
hroom now,
”hewhi
sper
sont
he
phone.
“
Youwer
emadet
obei
nsi
deme,
youknow.But
you’
resofaraway,Icannotletyouri
pmeapartat
themoment.”Ther
e’samoan.“ Mybodyiscal
li
ng
you.Hol
dhimf ormeandpl aywi t
hhim.
”
“Vuyiswa,
”hesaysandadeepbreathfol
lows.I
t
takestimeforhi
mtogettheover
allof
fhisupper
body.Hermoansarefi
ll
inguphisspeaker.
“
Mazwi
,ar
eyout
her
ebaby?
”
“
I’
m her
est
handwasami
.”
“
I’
m wet
,”shesaysandmoans.
Heavybr
eat
h!
“
I’
m har
d,”hesays.
“Wrapyourhandaroundhim andgivehi
m sl
ow
str
okes.Beherewit
hme, I’
ml yi
ngonbedwithmy
l
egsopen.Iwantyout ohaveyourwaywith
me….deeper
….har
der….ri
ghtther
e….
yesbaby.”
Heavybr
eat
hs!
“Vuyi
s……”Hi svoicebreaksi
ntohal
f.Ther
e’st
hat
sharpteet
h-breat
hintakesoundhemakesand
heavybreaths.
“
Areyoust
il
lont
hel
ine?
”sheasks.
“(
sni
ffs)Yes, I
’
m here.
”He’sstandi
ngwi thhi
sother
handbalancedont hewall,
hisotherhandiswhere
sheinst
ructedhimt owrapit.He’
spantingwit
hhis
mouthwi delyopened.Hermoansf i
nishedhi
m.He
j
ustcouldn’tholdback.
“Whatwereyousayi ngaboutt
hreats?”sheasks.
Herphoneispressedagainstherear.She’
sreadi
ng
abookshef oundlyi
nginNcami ’
sbedr oom,The
Harvar
dWi f
e,that’
stheti
tl
e.Shehasn’ tmovedone
i
nchsinceshest ar
tedonchapterone.
Ment
aket
hissexcal
lthi
ngwayt
ooser
ious.
“OhLord,Mpumi
!”shesaysandqui
ckl
ytur
nst
othe
nextpage.
“What?
”He’sst
il
lcl
eani
nghimselfupinsi
dethe
bat
hroom.Hehaslesst
han5mi nutestoeathi
s
l
unch,thebr
eakisal
mostover
.
“Youwon’ tbel
ievethi
sbookI ’
mr eadi
ng.
Mar r
iage…ormen…Idon’ tknow.Thisthi
ngof
stayi
ngi namar ri
age…..
”
“
Vuyi
swayouwer
ereadi
ngabookal
lthi
sti
me?
!”
“
IloveyouJamakaMni
si,
”shesays.
Hecur
sesandl
aughs.
She’
l
lpayf
ort
his.
.
.
Mndeni

Hel
efthiscredi
tcardwi
thNandi.Hedidn’thave
t
imetobeg, heapol
ogi
zedyest
erdayandi tdidn’
t
wor
k.Givinghermoneywashislastopti
on, andit
wor
kedlikeacharm.She’
sbeent ext
ingandcal l
ing
t
hewholeday.
Aftergetti
ngeveryt
hingshewanted,shewentt
ot he
mar ketandboughtamadumbe.Zul umenlovethem,
herexdi d.Shecookedthem,dol
ledhersel
fupand
tookat axitot
heMt hembuoffi
ces.
I
t’
sexact
ly5pm whenshearr
ives.Far
m wor
kersar
e
l
eavi
ngbygroups.Companycarsarebei
ngdri
ven
backandparkedinthei
rspaces.Trucks,
tract
ors
andexcavat
orshavetheirownfencedspacejust
outsi
detheoff
ices.
Someoneshel eastexpectedtoseejumpsof ft
he
tr
actorandbendsdownt odusthisshoes.Her
heart
beatisraci
ng,theycan’tmeet,
atleastnother
e.
Mndeniwill
….no,sheneedst odosomet hi
ng.She
knowsthekindofaper sonhei s,
hemi ghtget
vi
olentwit
hMndeni .

“Nandi?”Mndenisayswi t
hhisfor
eheadfur
rowed.
Shedidn’tt
ellhi
mt hatshe’
llcomeover
.Andwhat’
s
thatcontai
nerinherhands?
“
Ibr
oughtyouamadumbe,
”shesays.
Hissmil
eispri
celess.Hetakest
hecont
ainerf
rom
herhandsandleadsherinsi
de.
“
Whoi st
his?
”Ngcwethiasks,
stoppingdeadonhi
s
t
rackswi
thahugefr
ownonhi sf ace.
“
MeetNandi
.Babe,
mybr
other
,Ngcwet
hi.
”
Shesayshel
loandsmi
les.Ngcwet
hir
etur
nst
he
gr
eet
ingbuthedoesn’
tir
ont
hef
rownonhi
sface.
“
Whoi
sthi
s?”Nowi
t’
sMnot
ho.
Theywi
llcomeonebyone,
askwhoshei
sand
fr
own.
“Ever
yone,t
hisisNandi
,thegi
rlIal
wayst alkabout
.
Thankyou,youmayr et
urntoyourseats,”Mndeni
announceswithhi
shandwavingar ound, then
grabsherhandandpull
shertohisof f
ice.
Theywantt oknowmor e,sotheystandar
oundthe
recepti
ondeskandwai tf
orthem tocomeout.
Busikhayahasjoined,hewant stoknowwhatis
i
nsidethecontainer.

Hesit
sbehindhi
sdeskandaskshert obe
comfor
tabl
eontheguest
’schai
r .Butsher
emai
ns
onherfeet
,somet
hingi
stroubl
ingher.
“
Isawsomeonef
rom mypast
,”shet
ell
shi
m.
Heput
sthecont
ainerasi
deandl
ooksather
.
“
Expl
ainNandi
,
”hesays.
“He’
soneoftheemployees.I
’
m souncomfor
tabl
e
ri
ghtnow.Howdidyouhirehim?He’
snothi
ngbut
badnews.”
Hef
rowns.
Theyonlyhirepeopl
efr
om t
hevil
lage.Heknowsal
l
ofthem,maybenotbynames,buttheir
backgroundsareint
hecomput
ers.
“
Whoi
sthat
?”heasks.
Shegoestothewindow.Hefol
lowsherandst
ands
behi
ndher.HereyesareonMazwakhewhois
makinghi
swayt hrought
hegat
e.
“
Thatone.Youhavetofi
rehi
m,t
rustmehe’
snot
whatyouthi
nk,
”shesays.
“
Mazwakhe?
”heasks.
“
Yes,
”shesays.
Hel
aughsoutl
oudandr
etur
nsbackt
ohi
sseat
.
“I’
m seri
ousMndeni
,youneedt
ofi
r ehi
m.I’
m sur
e
there’
ssomeonebet
terwhocanfi
llhi
sposi
ti
on,”
shesays.
“
Firehi
m andthengowher
e?”Hi
svoi
cei
sbur
ied
wit
hlaught
er.
“
Whatdoyoumean‘
gowher
e’?
”sheasks.
“That’
smybr
other
.Notj
ustabr
other
,butmyel
dest
brother
.”
“
Whaaat
?”
“
Yes,Ican’
tfi
rehi
m,he’
sbasi
cal
lyt
heco-
ownerof
t
hisf
arm.”
Shestumblesandfi
ndsherwaytot
hechai
r.She
si
tsl
ikeherworldj
ustcametoanend.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasks.
“
Yeah,
I’
mjustf
eel
inghot
.”
Heget
sofft
hechai
randt
akest
hecont
ainersi
tt
ing
ont
hedesk.
“
Let
’sgoout
side,
”hesays.
“
Noooo!
”
“
Nanditheywon’
tdoanythi
ngtoyouand
Mazwakheisnotcr
azy,
”hesaysandpul
lsherup
f
rom t
hechair
.
“MndeniI
’m notfeel
inggood,
Ineedabath….
.”
They’
reout,
therearefourmenstar
ingatt
hem.
“
Mazwakheyou’
rescar
ingmyl
ady,
”Mndenisays.
Mazwakheiswi
pinghi
swetfacewit
hat
owel
.He
l
ooksatthewomanandchuckl
es.
“
Longt
ime,
nosee,
”hesays.
Theylookathim andbackatNandiwhol
ookl
ike
shecanfaintanyti
me.
“
Youknoweachot
her
?”Mnot
hoasks.
“Yes,shedumpedmei natwo-
minut
ecal
land
blockedme,”hesays,
wipi
nghi
sneckwit
hthetowel
asifeveryt
hingi
snormal.
“
TheNandi
?”Ngcwet
hiasks.
“Yes,
”hesays,
tur
nsar
oundandheadst
othe
bathr
oom.
Theystareather.Mndeni’
shandsarewrapped
aroundhisneck,danger
ousthought
sareracing
throughhi
smi nd.
“
So,
what
’si
nthecont
ainer
?”Busi
khayaasks.
Nobodyanswer
s.
Hegoest
oMndeniandsnat
chest
hecont
ainerf
rom
hi
shandandopensi
t.
“Madoda,amadumbe,”hesayswi
thoneal
readyi
n
hishand.Hepeel
sitandbit
es.Mnot
hojoi
nshim.
Ngcwethiisl
ookingatMndeni,
wai
tingforhis
consentbuthe’
snotevenlooki
ngathisdir
ecti
on.
“
Aret
heyni
ce?
”heasks,
maki
nghi
swayt
othem.
“
Aret
heyevernotni
ce?
”Busi
khayaasks,
ful
l-
mout
hed.

Mazwakhecomesback,scrol
li
nghisphone.When
heli
ft
shisheadupthethr
eeisgather
edaroundthe
cont
ainerandst
uff
ingt
hemselveswit
hamadumbe.
Thecoupl
eisst
il
lst
andi
ngwheret
heywer
e.
Mndenil
ooksathi
m,he’
sinpai
n.
“Baf
o,I
’m notst
andi
ngonyourway,i
fyoul
oveher
,”
hesaysandshrugshisshoul
der
s.
“
Leave,
”Mndenisays,
glar
ingatNandi
.
“
Icanexpl
ain,
”shesays.
“
Leaveandbl
ockmynumber
.Wear
edone.
”
Shestandswithtearsi
nhereyes.He’
snot
changinghi
smi nd,hest
andsbyhiswordand
point
sheratthegate.
Heretur
nsbackt
ohi
sof
fi
ceandsl
amst
hedoor
behi
nd.
“Si
si,
yourcont
ainer
?”Mnot
hoyel
lsasNandiwal
ks
away.
Shel
eavesi
tbehi
ndanddi
sappear
s.
[
11/
19,
09:
56] :Chapt
erThi
rt
y-Ni
ne
Vuyi
swa

It’
snotheal
thytobemi ssingsomeonel i
kethis.
Someonewhohasn’ tdonemucht ogetmeaddi ct
ed
tohim.Imeanwe’ vehardlyspentanyqual it
ytime
toget
her.Wealmostgott here,butthedeviloutdid
himself
,MaMbonambihappened.Ri ghtnowIdon’ t
knowwhenI ’l
lseehim again.Hedoesn’ twantto
comeher
e,t
hankst
oNcami
.Andhedoesn’
twant
metogotohi
shome.
There’
saknockatt hedoor
.Ifol
dthelastpageand
putthebookaway.Mynewl yfoundhobbyi s
readi
ng.Idon’
thavemucht odoaroundt hehouse
andI’mtryi
ngtostayawayfrom t
hestreets.
“You’r
ehidi
ngyour
sel
fher
e,”shesays,
let
ti
ng
hersel
finsi
demyroom.
Idi
dn’
tevenknowshewasback.
“
Wher
ear
eyoul
ostat
?”sheasks.
“
Iwasj
ustr
eadi
ngabook,
”Isay.
“You’r
est eali
ngallmybooks. ”She’sbeenar eader
sinceherhi ghschoolyears.Funnil
y, sherepeat
ed
mostcl asses.Itconfusedthehelloutofme, how
couldsomeonewhoal wayshadabookonherl ap
fail
?Weal lassumedshewasageni us,whereas
shewasj ustescapingreal
itywit
hbooks.
“
Youhaver
eadmostoft
hesebooks,
mos,
”Isay.
“Ial
waysre-
readmyfavouri
tes.Anyway,whyare
youreadi
ng?‘What
’swrongwithyourli
fe’
?”She’
s
usi
ngmywor dsagai
nstme.Ial
waysannoyedher
wit
hthi
squesti
onwhenevershewasreadi
ng.
“
Imi
sshi
m,”Isay.
Sher
oll
shereyesandsi
ghsdr
amat
ical
ly.
“Whatdoyouseei nhi
m?I
sitsomet
hinginter
nal?
I
nsidebeauty,
maybe?DoIneedamicroscope?
BecauseIdon’tseei
t.
”
Ihavel ookedatAphi we’sf atherfrom every
possi bleangleandIdon’ tknowwhatat t
ractedher
tohi m.Theysaymoneychangespeopl e.Itcleans
them, enhancest heirlooksandmakest hem glow.
ButnotMswel i
’smoney, hisstickstoitsjob,buying
himl ife.He’ssti
llthesameMswel iIsawsneaki ng
outofmysi st
er’
sr oom 13year sagowi t
htwo, lar
ge
frontt eethandcr ossed- eyes.Hehasn’ tchangedhi s
eatingst yleei
ther,hest illeatslikethere’
sanar my
chasi nghi m.Stuffslargechunksoff oodhi smout h
can’thandl eandst ickshi stongueoutt olickof f
whatst uckonhi slips.
“
Real
lywhati
sit
?”She’
sst
il
lonmycase.
“
Ever
ythi
ngNcami
.Il
ovehi
m,he’
spr
otect
iveof
peopl
eheloves,
hedoesn’
tfearanyt
hingandhe
getswhathewants.
”
“Obviousl
y,he’
saruralguy,t
hey’
renar
cissi
sti
c.
What ’
sthatthi
ngar
oundhi sarm?Isheaserial
kil
ler
?”
“
Idon’
tknowandIdon’
tcar
e,”Isay.
Shest
andsupwi
thherar
msf
olded.Shei
sannoyed.
“Maureeni
sthr
owingapartytonight.Ar
eyou
comingoryou’
renowavil
lagewi fe?
”Shetur
nsher
fatbehi
ndandwalkst
owardst hedoor.
“Who’
sgoi
ngt
olookaf
terAphi
we?
”Iaskbef
oreshe
exi
ts.
“
Herf
ather
,”shesaysanddi
sappear
s.
She’snowusedt oit,
li
vingi
nt wodiff
erentplaces
andt heconstantarguments.Shegrewi nit.They’ve
beenonandof fsinceshewas3year sol d.That ’
s
whenMswel istar
tedcheati
ngonmysi ster.From
thent i
llnowit
’sbeenconstantfi
ghts,withthechi l
d
atthecent r
e,manhandlinganddestructi
vevi olent
tantr
ums.Butt heystil
lgetbacktogetherforthose
coupleofmonthsandbr
eakt
hingsupagai
n.I
t’
sa
rol
ler
coast
er.

Ihaven’tgoneouti nawhi l
e.Mazwakhedoesn’ t
haveanyt hingtodowi ththatdecision, Ijustchose
tohavemyspaceandl i
velifeaccordingt ot hebook
forawhi le.It
’sbeenamazi ng,Idiscover edmynew
i
nterestsandbecamei ntouchwithmyspi r
it
.But
yeses,Ihavemi sseddolli
ngmysel fup, show- off
ing
mybody, thatIwor khardtokeepi nshape, wearmy
curl
sandbouncet hem ont hedancef loor .Ihave
missedt his.
“You’resti
llal
ive?”Maureenasksandengulfsmein
at i
ghthug.She’ soneofmysi st
er’
sr i
de-
or-
die
fri
ends.Theyhavenevert reat
edmel i
keali
tt
le
sister
,Iwasal waystaggedalong,shownplaces
andt aughthowt obeal adywithclass.I
’
m apet
fri
endoft heir
s.
“
Iwasbusywi
thexams,
”Isayoverhershoul
der
.
“Andthevi
ll
ageman, ”Ncamiyel
lsbehi
ndme.She’s
28yearsol
df orgoodness’
sake.Can’
tsheacther
age?
“Vi
ll
ageboy?
”Busiasks,
comi
ngbehi
nduswi
thher
eyesfi
xedonme.
“
Isi
tser
ious?Doeshehavet
he‘
boyf
ri
end’
tit
le?
”
Maur
eenasks.
“
Tal
k,
”Busisaysi
mpat
ient
ly.
“
You’
llmeethi
m whent
het
imei
sr i
ght
?Wher
e’s
myphone?Ineedt
omakeacal
l.
”
Buibl
ocksmyway.
“
Youcan’
trunsweet
y.DoesNhl
akaknow?
”
Sheknowswher
etopush,
becauser
eal
ly,
whathas
thatpi
ggott
odowit
hmylife?
“Youknowhewi l
lcausepr
obl
emswhenhef i
nds
out.Whoisthi
sguy?Doesheloveyou?
”Concer
n
dimshereyes.
“
Ithi
nkhedoes,
”Isay.
“
Yout
hink?
”Thr
eevoi
cesaskal
latonce.
“Yeah,
hehashi
ntedaf
utur
e,mebei
nghi
swi
feand
all
.”
Busi’
sfacemelt
s,butshe’
snotdone.Thequest
ion
I’
vebeendreadi
ngcomesandNcami ’sst
arewon’t
all
owmet oli
e.
“
So,
whatdoeshedof
oral
ivi
ng?
”Busiasks.
“He’
saplumber
,”Isayandhol
dmybr
eat
hfort
he
cri
ti
cism.
“
Notbad,
wher
e’shi
scompanyl
ocat
ed?
”
Ncami ’
seyebr
owi slif
ted.Sheknowsthiswil
lend
upwi t
hthearmyagai nstMazwakhe.Sheshould
knowt hi
sbynow, I’
m notbreaki
ngupwi t
hhim,no
mat t
erwhatanyonesays.Iaskedthatmanout ,
confessedmyf eel
ingsandenduredharshrej
ecti
on.
Ithastakenalotformet olaydownforamanl i
ke
that.
Everyt
imeZanamuhlatal
kedaboutherprotecti
ve
brot
herI’
dpraytomeethim oneday.Whenshe
tal
kedabouthim,hewaseverythi
ngasistercould
everaskfor
,andwhenImethi m,hewasever yt
hing
Ineededinaman.
Strange,
butIl
i
kedhowlesshesmil
ed,
how
fearl
essl
yhestar
edatpeopl
eandhowcar
elesshe
waswi
thhi
swor
ds.
Hejustt
alks,t
hreat
ensandcur
ses,
andt
hencar
ry
onasifeveryt
hingi
snormal
.
“
He’
scur
rent
lywor
kingasadr
iver
,”It
ellt
hem.
“Taxidri
ver ?”Maur eenasks.Shehasat hing
againsttaxidrivers.Shethinksthere’
sHI Vlyingon
thesteeringwheel softaxisandever ydriver
contactsit.Sheal wayshighlight
showbr oket hey
areandt heirabili
tytochangegi rl
smor et hant hey
changet heirunder wear
.
“
He’
sdr
ivi
ngat
ract
or,
hej
ustst
art
ed,
”Isay.
“
You’
rej
oki
ng!
”
“
Vuyi
!”
Iwavemygl
assandt
urnar
ound.
“
Theni
ghti
sst
il
lyoung,
cheer
s!”

Peopl
earearr
ivi
ng.Maureenisapeopl
e’sper
son
andherboyf
ri
end,Sazi,
knowspeoplewhoknow
peopl
e.I
t’
sgetti
ngnoisyanduncomfor
tabl
eor
someonewho’
swai
ti
ngf
oracal
l.
Isl
owlyremovemysel
ffr
om t
hecrowdandisolat
e
mysel
finthebal
conywit
haglassofchampagne
andcel
lphonei
nmyhand.
Thi
sman!Hesai
dhewi
llcal
lme.I
t’
sbeenhour
s
now.
“Vuyi
swa,”t
hevoi
cecomesbehi
ndme.Ifeelt
he
bil
eri
singuptomythr
oat
.Whyisheher
e?
Okay,Maur eenishiscousi
n.Butwhydi dhefol
low
me?I’mt i
redofinsulti
nghi
m.I ’
veevenranoutof
words,I
’vegoneal lki
ndofcrazyonthisper
sonand
he’
sstil
lher e,
annoyingAF.
“
Whatdoyouwant
?”Iask.
“
Notinagoodmood,
Isee.Youl
ookgoodbythe
way.Il
ovet
hedr
essandthehai
r,
”hesays.
He’sher
etoprovokeme.Ishutmyli
pswithsi
psof
champagneandkeepmyeyesont hephone.
“Youfuckedupmylif
e,br
okemyhearti
ntoamill
ion
piecesandki
ll
edmysoul.Youhavehur
tmemor e
thananyone,f
ucki
nganyt
hingwit
htwolegsand
wal
leti
nthepocket.Butyouknowwhathur
tsme
mor
et hananyt
hing?”
TrustmewhenIsayI ’vehear
dt hi
sami l
li
ontimes.I
knowwher ehepauses,wherehet hr
owshishands
i
nt hehairandwhatfoll
owsaftert
hisquesti
on.
Doesn’thegetti
redofannoyi
ngme?Twoyear sis
reall
yalongtime.
“I
sthatyouthinkI’
m crazy.Thathurt
sme.You
makemef eelcrazy,youmakei tseem l
ike
ever
ythi
ngwasmyf aul
t.Ideser
vedachance,
you
knowIwould’veloved…”
“
Nhlakanipho!”Isnapandr ai
semyhand.Iwould
l
iket
ocur se,t
oi nsulthi
m usi
ngallel
evenoff
ici
al
l
anguages,butthat’snotwhoIam anymore.I’
m not
i
nthatplace.Ihaveaboyf ri
endandI’
m happy.
“
Pleasel
eavemeal
one,
”Isay,
cal
mly.
He’ssurprised.TheVuyiswaheknowswoul d’ve
thrownthisglassonhi m andcall
edouthis
grandmot her’
sdeadpussy.Hewoul d’
vesaidmor e
wor ds,j
usttodrivehercrazier
,hewoul
d’vepushed
herof fl
imitsandthenwat chedasshefi
nall
ybroke
downi
nhi
sar
ms.
“
You’
ret
hemot
herofme…”Fuck!
Idoit
,agai
nstmystrongwillofst
ayi
ngcal
m,the
champagnefl
owsfrom hisfacedowntohi
sneck.
Healwayswins,
doesn’the?
“
Cal
lmet
hatagai
nandIwi
llst
abyout
odeat
h.”
“
You’
recr
azy,
”hesays.
I
’
m gl
adheknowsandacknowl
edgest
hat
.
“
ButIl
oveyouli
kethi
s.”He’
sonmyf ace,tr
yingt
o
t
ouchmyme.Itryt
ostophim butheblocksboth
myarmsandlower
shisfacetome.
‘
Sonofabi
tch!
”Ibi
tehi
sli
p.
Hecur
sesandwi
pest
hebl
oodof
fhi
sli
p.
Ineedtol
eavebef
oreitgetsnast
ier
.It
urnt
othe
door,
butguesswhoisstandi
ngbehindus?
He’
sst
ari
ngatNhl
aka.
Thel
ooksendsshi
ver
sdownmyspi
ne.
“
Mndeni
,
”Imut
ter
.
Hi
seyessl
owlyt
urnt
omeandIr
egr
etopeni
ngmy
mout
hwhentheymeetmi
ne.
“
Vuyi
swa!
”hesays.
Ist
andfrozen.He’
sthel
astper
sonIexpect
edt
o
seeher
e.
“
Whyi
shecal
li
ngyoucr
azy?
”heasks.
Iwantt
oanswerthatbef
oret
hefoolopenshi
s
st
inkymout
h,buthehas21questi
ons.
“
DoesMazwakheknowt
hatyou’
reher
e?”
Ithinkheshouldcalm downnow.Si ncewhenIhave
af athernamedMazwakhe?Whywoul dIneed
per missi
onfr
om him?I’veneveraskedpermissi
on
fr
om anyone.
“
Whoi
sMazwakhe?
”Thef
ool
!
Whoper
mit
tedhi
mtoopenhi
smout
h?
“
Whoi
sthi
s?”Mndeniasks.
“He’
snothi
ng.Iwascomingbackinsi
dethehouse,
”
Isayandtur
nmyheadt omeetthefool’
sicyst
are.
“
I’
m not
hingt
oyouVuyi
swa?We’
l
ltal
kaboutt
his
whenwegethome,f
ornowIwanttoknowwhoi s
t
hisper
sonandwhatar
eyoutwotalki
ngabout
?”
Whenwegethome?I
shetryi
ngt
orui
nmyl
if
e?I
don’
thaveahomewi
thhi
m.
Thecarkeysarethrowntome.Icat
cht
hem and
l
ookathimf orexpl
anat
ion.
“
Whi
tePor
sche,
out
side,
”hesays
“
Huh?
”I’
mlost
.
“
Iwil
lsaygoodbyet
oSaziandcome.Wear
e
l
eavi
ng.”
Whatt
heheck?He’
snotevenaski
ng,
justor
der
ing
me.
“
MndeniIdi
dn’
tcomeherewith……”Whoam I
t
alki
ngt
o?Hehasdisappear
edinsi
dethehouse.
Handsgr abmywaist
.Itur
naroundwithmyfist
clenched,butst
opmysel
fbef
orelandi
ngitonhis
face.
“
You’
renotwor
thi
t,
”Isaybef
oret
urni
ngaway.
I
’minsidethecarwi
thmyear sbl
ockedbyl oud
music.Idon’
tknowwhereI’
m beingtakento,
t
here’snochancetoaskbecausehewoul dn’
thear
meovert hi
smusic.
I
’
vebeent
othesest
reet
sbef
ore.
“
Whatam Idoi
ngi
nMi
ssi
onMndeni
?”Iyel
l
.
Helowersthevol
umeandglancesatmeonce
bef
oreturni
nghisheadt
othedrivewayahead.
“Wereyouhopi
ngt
ogo‘
home’
wit
hthatf
ool
?”he
asks.
“
No,
butwhatam Idoi
ngher
e?”
“
Thisi
sNgcwethi
’
shouse,
hehideshimsel
fher
e
whenwegett
oomuchforhissoul
.”
Thatdoesn’
tanswermyquest
ion,
doesi
t?Myeyes
remai
nonhi sface.
“Zol
wandlealsocomesher
e,onceinawhil
e,
”he
saysashepar kst
hecari
nfrontoft
hehouseIcan’
t
seeclear
ly.
Ifoll
owbehi
ndhim.Heunlocksthedoorand
reachesupt
othewallt
oturntheli
ghton.
“
Whyam Iher
e?”Iaskagai
n.
“
Waiti
ngforMazwakhe.
”Hesnat
chesabott
leof
wat
eroutoft
hefri
dgeandopensi
ttohi
sthroat
.
“Di
dyousaysomethi
ngt
ohim?MndeniIswear
,
not
hingi
shappeni
ngbet
weenNhl
akaandI.”
Heshr
ugshisshoul
der
sandpr
essest
her
emot
ehe
j
ustpi
cked.
“
Mndeni
!”Ir
aisemyvoi
ce.
“I
’mjustl
ooki
ngoutforthebi
gbrother
.It
’scol
d
anywayandtomorr
owi stheweekend.
”
So,hebr
oughtmeher et
owar
m hisbrot
herandhe
hasnoprobl
em sayi
ngitt
omyface?
Hi
sphoner i
ngs.Painf
lushesacrosshi
sfaceashe
si
lencesi
tandthrowsi
ttothetable.
Tr
oubl
einpar
adi
se?
“
Ineedadr
ink,
”Isay.
“
Itol
dyout
hisi
sNgcwet
hi’
shouse,
”hesays.
Al
owgr
untescapesmyt
hroat
.
“
Whatam Isupposedtodoher
e?Si
tandwat
cht
his
t
hingyou’
rewatchi
ng?
”
“Yes,
thehighli
ght
sofEUFAchampi
on’
sleague
semi-
final
s.”
“
Oh,wow!Soundsint
erest
ing,
Ican’
twai
t.
”Ithr
ow
mysel
fonthecouchandsendaquickt
exttoNcami
.
Hechuckl
esatmyf
akeexci
tementandt
hrowsthe
r
emotetome.Nowwecantalk,
Itur
ntoe-
movies.
“
Wher ei
syourgir
lf
ri
end?
”Iask.Ashesaid,i
t’
sthe
weekendtomor
rowandthenighti
sreal
lycol
d.
“
I’
m st
il
lsear
chi
ng,”hesaysandfi
xeshiseyeson
t
hescreenasahintformenott
otakeitfur
ther
.
“Whathappenedt
othelastone?
”I’
m nottheoneto
takehi
nts.Hewasbraggi
ngabouthernotsolong
ago.
“
Weendedt
hings,
”hesays.
“
Why?Youwer
ehappy,
wer
en’
tyou?
”
“
Iwas,
buti
t’
sovernow.
”
He’
shur
ti
ng.Idon’
twantt
opushf
urt
herIcansee
t
hatt
hepai
nisst
il
lfr
esh.
“
Whenwast
hel
astt
imeyousawJul
ani
?”Iask.
“
Don’
tst
art
!Lethi
m st
ayi
nwhat
everhol
ehei
sin.
”
Hismoodl i
ghtenswhenhenar ratesal
ltheJula
episodeshe’shadIhisli
fe.Thet abl
eoneonet akes
thecup, I
’m nomatchwheni tcomest oJula’
s
confidence.

Mndeniaskedmet ogotobedwhenIst art

ed
dozi
ngoffonthecouch.Idon’
tknowwhen
Mazwakhecame, whenmyheavybl adderwakes
meupint hemorni
ng,hehashiserecti
onpressed
onmybut tandhi
sarmst i
ghtl
ywrappedaroundme.
He’sasl eep.Myst omacht urnsint
oaknotwhenI
rememberhowIgother e.Ihavetoexpl
ainwhot hat
foolis.Ihatetalkingabouthi m buttheuni
versehas
awayofbr i
ngi
nghi snameever ywhereIgo.He
could’vedisappear edlikemostex’s,butno,he’
s
beenonmyt hroatf ort
hepastt woyears.TothinkI
oncesawaf ut
ur ewi t
ht hatpig!
Ihatewaki
ngt
hehandsomeki
ng,
butIneedt
he
bathr
oom.
“
Mazwakhe,
”Isayandshakehi
sar
m.
Hiseyesopen,t
hey’
recl
earast
hesky,
li
kehewas
neverasl
eep.
“
Ineedt
hebat
hroom,
”Isay.
He’
sconf
used.
Ishakehi
sar
msof
fme.Heexhal
esandf
reesme.

Thebat
hroom wi
ndowfacesthef
rontoft
heyar
d.
Twocarsarepar
kedoutsi
de,
meaninghe’
snott
he
onl
yoneinthi
shouse.
WhenIcomebackhe’ssitt
ingupwit
htheduvet
hel
duponhisneck.Hedoesn’twast
eti
me,thetal
k
i
shappeni
ngri
ghthere,
rightnow.
Hestretchesouthisarm,Icli
mbonbedand
snugglemyselfonhischest.Hecoversmewitht
he
duvetandkissesmyf orehead.Iguesswear
enoti
n
abadpl aceasIthought.
“
Ihearyouwer
edr
unkyest
erday,
”hesays.
Ist
il
lneedtoteachhim sayi
ng‘goodmor
ning.
’He
j
umpsst r
aighti
ntotheconversat
ion.
“
Real
ly?
”Iwanthi
mtosayi
t.Theel
ephanti
nthe
r
oom.
“Andt
herewasamanbot her
ingyou.Whydoyou
gotothosepl
aces?Whydon’
tyoubuyalcoholand
dri
nkathome?”heasks.
Theprobl
em wi
thpeopl
ewhodon’
tdr
inki
sthat
theyt
hinki
t’
sal
laboutal
cohol
.
“
Wher
eist
hef
uni
nthat
?”Iask.
“
So,
thef
uni
sanot
hermanki
ssi
ngyou?
”
Deepbr
eat
h!
“
No,
itwoul
dbebor
ingwi
thoutt
hecr
owd.
”
“
Whoi
she?
”hef
inal
lyasks.
“Anexf
rom acoupl
eofyearsago.Not
hingi
sgoi
ng
on,I
’
m bei
nghonest
,”Isay.
“Itr
ustyoust
handwasami
.So,
whydi
dyoul
iet
he
otherday?
”
Me?Lyi
ng?
“
When?
”Iask.
“
Yousaidyouwer
eonbed,wetforme,
wher
easyou
wer
ejustr
eadi
ngabook,
”hesays.
If
ailt
ohol
dmysel
fandbur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
“
Ihel
pedyou,
whyi
sitani
ssue?
”Iask.
“YoumademenutinmyhandVuyiswa.I’
m not15
year
sold,
you’
redent
ingmymanhood.”
“
Wher
edoyounut
?”Iask.
Hesmi l
esandwhispersi
nmyear .Idon’
tknow
whethertobei
nsult
edorturnedon.Ther
e’s
somethingwei
rdaboutZuluwordsandhejust
cal
ledthenameasitis.
“
Beabi
tromant
ic,
you’
reki
ll
ingmyvi
be,
”It
ellhi
m.
“That
’si
tsname,
whatdoyouwantmet osay?”Hi
s
handist
ryi
ngtogetanaccessundermypant
y.
“I
khekhe?I
nkomo?Youcanevencr
eat
eyourown
nameifyouwant,
”Isay.
Hi
shandi
sfi
nal
lyt
her
e.He’
srubbi
ngmyf
olds
t
ender
ly.
“
Angif
uniamakhekhenezi
nkomo.Mi
nangi
funa
i
….(
str
ongword)”
I’
m abi
tannoyedbuthi
shandinsi
demypantyisn’
t
all
owi
ngmet oexpr
ess,i
nst
eadI’m moani
ng.
“Mazwakheuyi
qabayazi
,
”Isaybef
orehi
sli
ps
capt
uresmymouth.
I’
m abituncomf
ort
abl
edoingthi
swithpeopl
einthe
house.Iknowmysel
f,Iwon’
tbeabl
etokeepitl
ow.
“Youhaveabeaut
if
ulbody,
”hesays,hi
sfi
nger
unhooki
ngmypantydownmyl egs.
HepullstheT-
shir
toffhi
sneckandpushesdown
ever
ythinghehasdownhiswaist
.Jamaisvery
cl
ean.Heshouldhiremeasthepermanentcl
eaner
ofhi
m.
Heli
esontopofme,put
shi
sar
m undermyneck
andstar
esdowntomyli
ps.
“NgcwethiandMnothoareher
e,”hesaysandl
if
ts
hiseyebrow,wai
ti
ngformyresponse.
“
Besl
owt
hen,
”Isay.
“
Youdon’tdeser
vethat
.Notaf
terwhatyou’
veput
methr
ough,”hesaysandbi
testhesi
deofmyneck
t
ender
ly.
Icr
youtl
ikear
ainedpuppy.
“
You’
rever
ynaught
yVuyi
swa.Doyouknowwhy?
”
Ir
aisemybr
owsi
nant
ici
pat
ion.
“Urbanboyshavebeent i
ckl
ingherandtheydidn’
t
gettothati
tchypar
t,becauseit
’sminet
or uband
minealone.
”
“
Mazwakhe.
..
”Wher
edi
dmyvoi
cego?
“Best
il
l,
Iwil
lgetsomet
hingt
hatwil
lkeepyousil
ent
.
Idon’
twanttobeabadexamplet
otheboys,”he
saysandrol
lsof
fbed.
Hedi
sappearsi
nthebat
hroom andcomesback
wi
thapieceofcl
oth.
“Mazwakhewhatareyouplanni
ngtodo?”I’
m
gett
ingner
vous.Idon’
tli
kebei
ngvoicel
ess.I
nfact
,
Ihateit
.
Hewrapsthecl
otharoundmyneckandleavesi
t
l
ooseundermychin.Hetur
nsaroundandgoesto
t
hedoor
.
Hel
ocksi
t.
Mymout
htur
nsdr
y.
Helocksmyl
ipsi
naki
sst
hatal
mostt
akesmy
br
eath.
Hebr
eaksi
tandst
aresatme.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasks
Inodmyhead.Apartofmeisokayandanother
partofmeisnot
.Whyisheact
ingli
keavil
lage
Christ
ianGr
eynow?I
’mthebosshere,
nothim.
Hekissesmeagain,deeply.Thenhelift
stheclot
h
overmymout handtightenstheknotbehindmy
neck.Myheartpoundswhenheposi t
ionshimsel
f
betweenmylegsandi nsertst
hecondom.Imustbe
l
ookingli
keagoatseeingt hekni
fethat’
sgoingto
sl
aughteri
t.
Hewr apshi shandaroundhi sgiantandbri
ngsit
cl
oser.Hi seyesmovef rom myf acetothe
dest
inationofhisgiant.Itdancesonmycl i
t.I
would’veletoutascream already,t
hat’
show
dramati
cIam.SometimesIscr
eam bef
oret
he
personevenundr
esses.
Iwasr
eadyf
orhi
sgr
andent
rance,
buthe’
snot
.
“You’
resobeauti
ful
,”hesaysandcupsmybreast
s.
Hebur i
eshi
mselfbetweenthem,hi
stonguer
uns
f
r om mychestuptothesideofmyneck.
“
Yourmanl
ovesyou,
”hewhi
sper
s.
There’
sthatwarmfeel
ingIcan’
texplain.I
tengul
fs
myhear tandmoist
ensmyeyes.Somet i
mesit
scaresme.There’
sahighchancethatIlovethi
s
manmor ethanhel
ovesme,andthat’sadangerous
spottobeonasawoman.
“Iwi
llneverl
etyoudownVuyi
swa.”He’
sst
ari
ng
downatme.Bel owhe’
ssl
owlyinser
ti
nghi
mselfi
n.
“Whateveryougothr
oughforl
ovi
ngamanl i
keme,
i
twi l
lbl
owover.Iwil
lbeokay,
soon.You’
l
lbeli
ke
othergi
rlst
oo.”
Iwanttosnat
chtheclot
hoffandt
ellhi
mthathe
shoul
dstopworryi
ng,Il
oveusasweare.Buthe
seesi
tcoming,hepinsmyhandsdownandpushes
hi
swhol
eshaf
tin.
“
Iloveyou,
”hesaysbef
oret
hegamebegi
ns.
Yes,comparedt owhathe’sdoingtome, Nhlaka
andhiscrewhavebeent i
ckli
ngmeal ltheseyear
s.I
maybepar alyzedaft
erthis.Hist
hrustsaredeep,
fastandhard.Icannotkeepupwi ththepace,so
nowI ’
mjustlyingl
ikeaWool worths’
fullchi
cken,
andhe’sdoingashepl eases.
Hisgri
ptightens.Ilookathisfaceandf indi
tdarker
wit
hallit
smuscl esscr unchedup.Isher eal
lynot
goingt
omakeasi nglesoundthroughoutthedeed?
Howdoyout ellamant omoandur ingsex?He
makesmef eelli
keIhavear efr
igeratordownthere.
“Vuyiswa!”Hi
svoi
cei
sal
armed,
yetf
il
ledwi
th
pleasure.
Isqueezehi
minagai
n.
Hisheaddropsonmychest,hequickl
ylatcheson
myni ppl
etosupresshi
ssound.Whatisitthathe
hasagainstscr
eamingandmoaningli
keanor mal
person?
Itr
yitonel astt
ime.Thestr
ongmancharact
erf
li
es
outofthewi ndow,mynippl
esli
desoffhi
smout
h
andhel etoutashall
ow,huskycry.
“
You’
reki
ll
ingmeVuyi
swa.
”
.
.
It
’sawkwar
dwear ingagowni nthehousefullof
men.Mndenicould’veatleastthoughtaboutdri
ving
pastmyhomef i
rstsot hatIcouldpickupsome
stuf
f.
TheyboughtKFCandnowt hey’
rewatchi
ngsome
boringsportthi
ng.Idon’tknowwhyt hey’
re
crowdedher e.Ngcwethilef
tZanamuhl aandslept
here,whichisstrange.Andbyt hel
ookoft hi
ngs
they’r
enotleavinganyti
mesoon.
Ihopet
hey’
renotpl
anni
ngt
orobabank.Younever
knowwit
hmen.

I
’m st
andi
ngi
ntheki
tchenwit
hmyar mscrossed.I
washeret
ogrababott
leofwater
,butwhynot
standandstar
eatthewal
lsf
oramoment
?It
’snot
l
ikeIhaveanythi
ngtodo.
Thehairatthebackofmyneckst andup.I
t’
sa
heavypresencethatneedsyout
ot ur
nyourhead.I
thoughtI
’dbeusedt oitbynow,
butI’
m not,
andI
mightneverdo.
“
Ngcwet
hi,
”Isay.
Hewal ksin,
standsbyt hesinkandlooksatme.We
areovertheundercoverfri
endthing,
obviousl
yhe’
s
nothereforbusiness.
“So,
youandmybrot
herar
eserious?”Thel
ookon
hisf
acemakesmeuncomfor
table.
“
Yes,
”Isayandnodmyhead.
Hi
seyesshi
ftbutt
hei
rint
ensi
tyr
emai
nsonme.
“
He’
smybl
ood,
”hesays.
Iwai
tforhi
mtospeak.
“
He’
smydut
y.Mybusi
ness.Doyouunder
stand
t
hat
?”
Idon’
tknowwher
ethi
sisgoi
ng,
butInodmyhead.
“Iwil
lprotecthi
m atallcost
s.Andifyou’
rer
eal
lya
partofhim, Iwi
llpr
otectyoutoo.
”
Agai
n,Inodmyhead.
“
He’
snotcr
azy,
”hesays.
Atfi
r stmymindisonMazwakhe,event
houghI
’
ve
neversaidhewascrazy.ButI
’
m wrong,
he’
snot
tal
kingabouthi
m.
“Youdon’ towehi m anyt
hing, t
hat’
sf i
ne.Butasoul
wasbr oughtbyyou, i
tli
edacr ossyourwombf or
weeks, t
hel eastyoucould’vedonewast oinvol
ve
him.Itwasn’ tyourbabyalone, t
hetwoofyou
createdittogether.
”Hisstarestartthrobbi
ngand
pierci
ngt hroughmyhear t.Itshatt
ersmei nto
pieces.
“Thatboywil
lnevergoanywher ei
nlife.Sl
owly,
he’l
l
l
osehi ssani
ty.Notbecauseofyou,butbecausethe
shadowofhischildhoversoverhi
m. ”
Thebott
leinmyhandi sslowlysli
ppingoff
.My
pal
msar esweaty.Nhlakai sagraduate,
awhol e
LLBgraduate,
buttil
lthisdaynobodycanpoi ntat
anyt
hingandsayt hi
si swhathe’sdoingforali
ving.
“Youdon’toweanyonebei ngamot her
,butifthings
l
ikethishavehappened, ifyouhaveseeni tf
itto
ter
minateli
fe,theleastyoucandoi sgivethatsoul
anamesot hatitcanrestinpeace.Ibeli
eveyou
owet hechil
dthat,youowet hatboyanapologyand
youowemybr otherthetruth.”
Herel
easesasi
ghandgoestothecupboar
d.His
handcomesbackwit
hapacketofchi
ps.Hetear
sit
openandthr
owsafewinsi
dehismouth.
Hi
sfacescrunchesupashechewsthem.He
t
hrowsthepacketbacki
nsi
dethecupboar
dand
r
ushestothetapwithagl
ass.
“Youladiesr
eall
yeatthesethi
ngs?”Hetakes
anothersipf
rom thegl
ass.Justl
ikethat
,he’
sback
atbeingZano’sNgcwethi.

Mazwakhewalksi
n,hegi
vesNgcwethial
ookand
heleavet
her
oom withhi
shandsl
if
tedupin
sur
render
.
“Ar
eyouokay?”heasks.Myfacei
scuppedinhi
s
hands,
hisconcer
nedeyesar
esearchi
ngint
omine.
HowdoIt el
lhim?Someonel ikehim wouldnever
understand,nomat terhowhar dItrytoexpl
ain,t
he
pi
cturethatwi l
lremainisthat2yearsagoIhadan
abort
ion.Imi ghtlosehist
rustforever,i
fnothim as
awhol e.
[
11/
19,
09:
57] :Chapt
erFor
ty

Hethrowsthecarkeysont opofthetabl
eandsi t
s
wit
hhisphoneclaspedinhishandandgl aresather
.
Thewomanwhohadgi venhim hopeinlove,he
oncesawagl i
mpseoffut ur
einhereyes,butnow
helooksatherwi
thnothingbutdisgust.
“Mndeni,
”shesaysandcl ear
sherthroatanumber
ofti
mes.Shet houghtt
hiswouldbeeasy,hewas
nevert
heclose-mindedperson,
shehopedt hathe’d
bewill
ingtol
istenandhearhersideofthestory.
Butthi
slookhe’sgivi
nghermakeshersweat .
“
Nandi
,Idon’
thavet
hewhol
eday,
”hesays.
Shelif
tshergl
assandgul
pst
hecont
ent
sunt
ilshe
chokes.
“Thi
sisawasteoft
ime!
”hemurmur
sandpi ckshi
s
phonefr
om t
hetabl
eandatt
emptst
oleave.
Shest
andsandgr
abshi
shand.
Hefreezesbecausetherestaur
anti
sful
lofpeopl
e,
andshedoesn’thavetherightt
otouchhim.Not
aft
erwhatshedid.Afteral
ltheli
esshefedhi
m!
“
IloveyouMndeni
.Ir
eal
lyl
oveyou.
”
Hebreathesi
nandr
eleasest
hebr
eat
hwi
thhi
s
eyesshut.
“
YouliedNandi
.Whatifhewasn’
tmybr ot
her
?
Wouldyouhavecostaman,hustl
ingf
orhisf
ami
ly,
t
hejobjustt
ocoverupyourl
ies?
”
“Canwetalk?Pl
ease.
”Hervoicebreaks.At
wingeof
empathyt
apsonhi sconsci
ence.Hiseyesmeett
he
dropsoft
earsrunni
ngdownonhercheeks.
Hepul l
sherarm,dragshert
othecarandcloses
thedoors.Whenthey’r
eoutofever
yone’
sattent
ion
hethrowsherhandawayandshakeshi shead.
“
Ist
hisanactNandi
?”heasks.
“
No,
Ireal
lyl
oveyou,
”shesays.
“
Whati
fIwasn’
taMt
hembu?
”
“
Iwoul
d’vest
il
llovedyou.
”
“Real
ly?Youdumpedmybr ot
heraft
erhelosthi
s
i
nheri
tance.
”MaybeifshewasonlyMazwakhe’sex
he’df
indawaytocontinuewi
thwhatevert
heyhad.
Butshedumpedhim overmoney.Thi
siswhat
makeshim angr
y.Hecannottr
usther.
“Wewer en’
tcompat
ibl
e.Iwaswit
hhim
because…well
,hewasagoodmant obri
nghome,
”
shesaysandholdsherbreat
h.
“
Youneverl
ovedhi
m?”Mndeniasks.
“
No,
”shesays.
Hechuckl
esi
ndi
sbel
iefandst
aresatherf
ora
moment.
“
So,you’
renotwhatyoupr
etendt
obe,you’
rej
usta
t
hir
stybi
tchwhochowsandpasses?
”hesays.
“
Insul
tmeallyouwant.Don’
tgivemeanymoney,
I
’
llgetajobandwork.Ij
ustneedustogetback
t
ogether
.Idon’
twantanythi
ngelse.
”
“
Whataboutmybr
other
?”heasks.
“
Iwi
llapol
ogi
zet
ohi
m.Iknowt
hatIwr
ongedhi
m.”
I
tdoesn’
thavet
heef
fectshewashopi
ngf
or.
“
Iwon’
tmar
ryyouNandiandIneverwi
ll
,
”hesays.
Sheswal
lowsandnodsherhead.
“
So?
”heaskswi
thhi
seyebr
owl
if
ted.
“
Iwantyou,
”shesays.
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
“Imightf
indsomeoneal
ongt
heway.Justsoyou
know.”
Agai
n,shenodsherhead.Shewantst
obewi t
hhi
m.
Hemadeherfeeldif
fer
entandshe’
swill
ingt
odo
j
ustanythi
ngtohavehim backi
nherl
if
e.
“Doyouunder
standmeNandi
?YouandIcannotbe
anythi
ng,
youcanonl
ygetwhat
’si
nsi
dethese
bri
efs.
”
Deepbreath!Shenodsherhead.He’
sangryather
andshedoesn’tbl
amehim.Intimehe’l
lfor
giveher
andeveryt
hingwil
lgoint
oplace.
 *
**

Mnot
ho

Hehasn’ ttouchedont heevent

sthattookplaceon
thatday.Hehasquest i
onsbutgoingbackto
normalwasmor eimport
ant.He’
sbeenwai t
ingfor
therightti
met ogethisanswers.Hehadt opush
everythi
ngt othebackofhisheadf i
rst
,convince
MaMbonambit hathewasokayandadj usttowork.
Mazwakhei ssitt
ingbehindthemainhouse, leaning
backont hewal lwithhi
skneesupandasl ingi nhis
hand.Hekeepsai mingatthebir
dst hatkeepf l
ying
tothetreesoutsidethefence.Mndenicallsit
cruelt
y,hishabitofkil
li
nganimals.Fancy,isn’t
?
Animalsar emeantt obekill
edandheenj oysdoi ng
i
t.Itcalmshi m down.
It
’sget
ti
ngchi
ll
y,hehast
ogetbacki
nsi
det
he
house.
Someonest
andsnextt
ohi
m andr
eleasesabr
eat
h.
HelooksupandfindsMnot
hostar
ingintospace
wit
hhishandstuckedi
nsi
dethepocketsofhis
j
acket.
It’
sthet i
mehewi shedcoul dbepostponedf orever.
Henevert houghti twoul dhappen,buthe’
sgr owi ng
protecti
veofthem, especial
lyMnotho.Heonce
want edthisboydead, hewould’veki
ll
edhi mifhe
gotthechancet o, butnowl ooki
ngathi m soclose
hasmadehi mr ealizejusthowyounghei s.Almost
Hlahla’
sage, buthewasexposedt osomanyt hings
thatruinedhisinnocenceandyout h.
Hedoesn’twanthim andQophel
otot
urnli
ke
Busi
khaya,orevenwor se,
tur
ntobel
ikehi
m.
“
Whathappenedtoher
?”Mnot
hoasksaf
teral
ong
momentofsi
lence.
“
Shewasbi
tt
enbyasnake,
”hesays.
“
And?
”
Deepbr
eat
h!
“
Sheclosedhereyesandaskedmet ogoand
r
escueyou.SheaskedthatImakesuret
hatyou
moveonandf
indhappi
ness.
”
“
And?
”
He’smakinghi
m uncomf
ort
abl
ewi
tht
heseshor
t
quest
ions.
“Wel ef
tMnotho.Shewaslyi
ngsti
llwithhereyes
shut.IhadtogetyouhomeasIpromi sed
MaMbonambi .Itwasthemainpr
iori
ty,”heexpl
ains,
hopingthathi
sanswerwil
lbeenoughf orhi
mto
for
give.
“
Iwantt
oknowwher
eshei
s,
”Mnot
hosays.
“She’
sdead.Theyt
ookt
hei
rsonandIki
ll
edt
hat
shortman.
”
Heknewi t
,hecouldfeeli
tinhisbones,herspi
ri
t
suddenlyl
eftt
hatdayandsur pri
singl
yheisn’
t
feel
ingemptyashe’sbeenovert heyear
s.But…
“
Mazwakheyoukil
ledSgi di
?Doyouknowwhohe
i
s?”Hegetsonhi
sf eetandrubshi
sheadi
n
f
rust
rat
ion.
“
Thosepeopl
earedangerous.Youhavetosl
eep
wit
honeeyeopenbecauseitdidn’
tendBaf
o.Outof
al
lpeopl
e,youdeci
dedt
oki
llt
he…”
“
Canyousitdown?You’
regi
vingmeheadachewi
th
t
hispaci
ng,
”Mazwakhesays,
unbot
hered.
“Doyouhaveanyi
deawhothatwas?Whathe’
s
capableof
?”Mnot
ho.He’
sst
il
lpaci
ngar
ound,
because…wow.
“
DoyouknowwhoIam andwhatI’
m capabl
eof
?”
Mazwakher
etur
nst
hequest
ion.
“Trustme,thiswil
lneedmorethanjustagun.I
f
theyfindyou,you’
renottheonlyonewho’
llbei
n
danger ,
butthewholefamil
y.”
Mazwakhest
andsupanddust
shi
msel
f.
“I
ftheywantr
evenget
hey’
l
lgoaf
terBhekani
Ndlovu.
”
“
How?
”Mnot
hoi
sconf
used.
“Khwezisacr
if
icedherl i
feforyou.St
opwor ryi
ng
aboutthi
ngsyoucan’ tchange,ift
heydecideto
comeaf t
ermeI ’
lldealwit
hi t
.Focusonyourself,
meetnewpeopl eandcr eat
enewmemor ies.
”
Mnot
hoexhal
esdeepl
yandst
andsst
il
l.Mazwakhe
t
apshi
sshoulderandgi
veshi
mthel
ookofhope,
t
heonesayi
ng‘youcandoit
.’
“You’
renotabadperson,
”Mnothosaysi
nawe.
Growinguphe’
salwaysseenthi
smanasamonster
.
Mazwakhechuckl
es.
“Idon’
tfal
lunderanycategor
y.IcanbebadandI
canbegood.Itdependsonwhoyouar e,
”hesays
andshrugshisshoulder
s.
“
You’r
eevencal
mthanyouusedt
obe,
”Mnot
ho
mocks.
“
Meani
ng?
”heasks.
“Thatsomeonehast
amedyou.Vuyi
swa.I
sit
seri
ous?”
“
Yes.
”
“
She’
snotr
eal
lyyourt
ype.Ar
eyousur
eabouther
?”
“
Youknowmyt
ypenow?
”
Mnotholi
ft
shi
shandsupinapologyandleaves.He
goesst
rai
ghtt
ohi
sbedroom andopensthesaf e.
Hest
aresatherpi
ctur
es.Hest
il
llovesherandhe’
l
l
neverst
op.Noti
nthi
sli
fet
ime.
Buttodayhersmi l
ebri
ngshim war
mt h,nott
hat
holl
owgaphe’sf el
tforyear
s.I
tdoesn’tscr
eam;
“Hel
pmeMnot ho.Findme!”
She’
satpeace,
wher
evershei
s.
Hewil
lfi
ndsomeonet ol
ove,i
fGodbl
esseshim
wit
hadaughterhernamewil
lbeKhweziandhe’
ll
l
oveherwit
heverythi
nghehas.
.
.
BhekaniNdl
ovu

Whenhehear stheknockcomingfrom thedoorhi

s
i
nst i
nct
stellhi
mi t’
stheMthembuboys.He’ been
sleepi
ngwithoneeyeopensi ncethenightthey
camet oter
rorizehi
m.Sadly,hecannotreportt
hem
tothepoli
ce,hecan’teventel
lhi
sfamilythathi
sli
fe
i
si ndanger.Because,howwouldheexpl ai
nthe
causeofallthis?
Het
akeshi
spangaandst
andsbehi
ndt
hedoorwi
th
hi
searpr essedagai
nsti
t.Hecan’thearnorsee
anyt
hing.Itmustbetheyoungestone,Mnotho,he
hascomet oabusehim agai
n.
“Whoisthi
s?”heaskswithhi
shandonthehandl
e.
He’
llopenandstr
ikebef
orethi
sboyevenent
ers.
“
It
’sus,
”thevoi
cecomesbehi
ndhi
m.
Thedoorisclosed,i
t’
sdarki
nsidethehouse,how
didtheper
sonent er
?Wi t
hatr
embl i
nghand,he
reachesuptotheswitchandturnsonthel
ight.
Twonaked,shortboysarest
andi
nginf r
ontofhim.
They’
reboysbecausetheyhavebeards,however
thei
rbot
tom-f
rontshavenospecif
icgendergenit
al.
They’
rej
ustplai
n.
Foramomenthe’ sel
ectr
ic-
shocked.Somethi
ng
warmi sfl
owi
ngdownhi slegs.Hi
smi ndseemsto
beonpause,hecannotmakesenseoft he
creat
uresinf
rontofhi
m.
I
tlaughs.Theoneont hel
eftsideoftheroom.It
s
l
oudlaughr eveal
sredgums.Itdoesn’thaveany
t
eeth.
Heseesdoubleofever
ythi
ngi
nf r
ontofhim.
Secondsl
aterhi
sbigbodycol
li
desagainstt
hef
loor
.
Laught
eragai
n.

Whenhewakesup,hi
sbedi
ssoakedi
nwat
er,
he’
s
al
sodr
ippi
ngwet.
He’sscaredtoevenscr eam.Slowly,
helift
shi
s
headandl ooksaroundt heroom.Everyt
hingi
sinit
s
place.Seemingl
ythewi ndowswer ewashed,t
hey’
re
shiningandopenedtoal lowthemorningsunrays
tofil
l t
heroom wi
thlight.
Hedragshi
mselftothedoor
.Whati
sallt
his?Was
hedr
eaminglastni
ght?Ever
ythi
ngl
ooksnormal
.
Heneedsaglassofsugar-
wat
er,
maybei
twi
llcal
m
hi
m down.He’snott
hinki
ngst
rai
ght
.

Hepushestheki
tchendoorandstepsint
ohispot
s
shi
ningontopofthestoveandt
hedishesst
acked
neat
lyontopofthetabl
e.
Hedi
dn’
tcookl
astni
ght
.Heat
eatKhabazel
a’s
houseandcamestrai
ghttobed.Eveni
fhedi
dcook,
he’
dnevercookspi
nachandpap.Wherewouldhe
getthespi
nachi
nthisdr
yseason?
“Bhekani,
”hecal lshi
sownnameandsl apshi
s
for
eheadanumberoft imes.Heneedstothi
nk
str
aight.Issomeonet ryi
ngtobewitchhim?He’s
l
osinghi smi nd.Yes,
they’
retryi
ngtoki
llhi
m,the
j
ealousnei ghbours.

HelocksthedoorsandheadstoKhabazela.He’s
neverbeenamanwhoshar eshispersonalissues
wit
hpeople,butsomedays,ever
yoneneedsa
shouldert
ocryon.
Hef
indsKhabazel
asurroundedbyhi
sdogsunder
t
heshadeofthei
rpeachtree.
“I
severyt
hingokayNdlovu?
”asksKhabazel
a,
scanni
nghisfri
end’
sface.
“
Ithi
nksomeonei
sbewi
tchi
ngme,
”hesays.
“
Huh?Whatar
eyousayi
ngNdl
ovu?
”
“
I’
mtel
li
ngyou,
someonewant
smedead.I
’
m
seei
ngthi
ngst
hatar
en’
tther
e.I
tfeel
sli
keI
’
mlosi
ng
mymi nd.
”
Khabazel
acal l
sforhiswifet
ohur rywit
hthejugof
amahewu.Hi swifebeingaruralwifet
hatsheis,
amahewucomeswi that r
ayoffood.Noguestof
her
swi l
lleaveherhousehungr i
ly.

Somethi
ngheavysit
sonhi sshoul
der
sashe
att
emptstoli
ftt
hespoon.Hishandshakesandt
he
spoondropdowntotheground.
There’soneofthem,sti
llnakedl
ikelastni
ght
,it
’s
standingri
ghtinfr
ontofhim butKhabazel
acan’t
seeit.Todayit
’sangr
y…. i
t’
saboutfood.
“
Gat
sheni
!”Khabazel
a’svoi
cesnapshi
m.
Hej
umpsupwi
thhi
seyesbul
gingout
.
“
Ihavet
ogo,
”hesays.
“Butyouhaven’
ttouchedyour
…”Heli
ft
shishand
uptosil
encehim andheadsbackhome.
“I
sBhekanir
eal
lyl
osi
nghismind?”Khabazel
atal
ks
al
oneandshakeshi
sheadindisbel
ief
.
.
.
Zanamuhl
a

Iwakeupt otheempt ysideoft hebed.I t’

smyl if
e.
Somet i
meshel eaveswi thoutinfor minganyone.
Nobodyquest i
onshi m.I’m stil
ltryingtoadj usttoit.
Somet i
meshel eavesi nthemi ddl eoft henight.
Somedaysi t’
shisscar ynight mar eepisodes.I
di
dn’ tthi
nkitwast hiscompl icated.Bei nghi s
womanwasf unbef orewest art
edl ivi
ngt ogether.
Evenmor efunwheni twasf orbidden.Nowt hatI’
m
l
ear ningthereali
tyofmyf utureIknowt hatit
’snot
goingt obecosy.He’ snotj ustmi neal one, t
hatI
mustacceptandl ivewi t
hit.
Imaket
hebedanddr agmyselftothebathr
oom.
NowI’
m st
art
ingtofeelt
hepregnancy.Thenausea
i
nthemorni
ngs,el
ephantbl
adderandcr avi
ngs.

Mndenihasal
readysett
het
abl
e,t
heki
dsar
eeat
ing
ont
hecouchesi
nfr
ontoft
heTV.
“
Zol
wandl
e,
”heacknowl
edgesmewi
thasmi
le.
Ifor
cemyl i
pstost
ret
chandgrabaseat.Idon’
t
wantanythi
ngonthi
stabl
e,Iwantamagwinyaand
hotfr
ies.
“Mazwakheisatthef
arm.Busikhayasl
eptout
.You
know,newlove,newpus…eerh.
”Heclear
shisthr
oat
.
“It
hinki
t’
sjustusandthekids.
”
“
Wher
e’sMnot
hoandMaMbonambi
?”Iask.
“Mnothowenttotheoff
ice.Busi
ness-or
iented
peopl
e!AndMaMbonambil ef
tearl
y,youknowher
endl
esstri
ps.”Hewaveshishandupandf ocuses
onhisfood.
It
akeasli
ceofbread,swal
lowapi
eceanddowni
t
wi
thaglassofj
uice.
“
Howar eyou?”Il
ookupandfi
ndhi
m st
ari
ngatme
wit
hconcerndimminghi
seyes.
“
Iwasabi
tsi
ckear
li
er,
ithaswor
nout
,”Isay.
“
Isi
tnor
malorIshoul
dtakeyout
othedoct
or?
”
“
It
’snor
mal
,pr
egnancycausesi
t,
”Isay.
Henodswithr
eli
efandpushesthepl
ateofeggst
o
myside.Myst
omachboilsup.Thebr
eadIjust
swal
l
owedshootsupmyt hroat
.
Ionlymakeittothebathroom door
.BeforeIget
i
nsideeveryt
hingexpl
odest othefl
oor
.Ihave
empt i
edalmostever
ythingbytheti
meIr eachtothe
toi
letseat
.
“
Youshoul
d’vet
oldme,
I’
mreal
lysor
ry.
”
Whati
shedoi
ngher
e?Isnat
cht
hegl
assofwat
er
he’
shandi
ngme.
“
Mndenil
eave,
”Isay,
almostyel
li
ng.
“
No,
Ican’
tleaveyoul
iket
his.
”
HowaboutIwantt
opee?Hecan’tj
ustst
andher
e
andl
ookatmydisgust
ingvomi
t.
“
Ineedt
ouset
het
oil
et,
”Isay.
Hedoesn’
tmove.
“
Mndeni
!”Isnap.
Hesi
ghsandwal
ksout
.
Fuck!Icl
osetheli
dandsitontopoftheseat .
Mazwakhewar nedmeaboutlotofthi
ngs,andt hi
s
wasoneoft hem.ButIsai
dI’
llhandl
ethislovethi
ng.
Ichosethisman,t
heonewho’ snother
e,theone
I’
m notevensurewhichpar
toftheworldhe’sinor
whenhe’scomingback.
Itwasokaywheni twasjustme.Iwasst r
ong,I
couldhandleanyt
hing.ButnowI’m car
ryi
ngachi l
d,
Ihavet oswall
owmyt ears,
ignor
emycr avingsso
thatIdon’tbur
denhisfamil
y,andbemyownpi l
lar
ofstrength.
Iwashmyf aceandtakeonel
astglanceatt
he
ref
lect
ionofmysuddenplum cheeks.
Andt
hen?
“
Mndeni
!”I
’
m shocked.
He’
smybrot
her
-i
n-l
aw.Hecan’
tcl
eanaf
terme,
let
al
onecl
eanmyvomit.
“
Givemet
hemop,
”Idemand.
“
Zolwandl
egotot
hekit
chen.Ir
emovedtheeggs
f
rom si
ght
.Makewhatyouwant,
”hesays.
“
Ican’
t.Thef
lourwon’
tri
se.
”
“
Meani
ng?
”
“
Iwantamagwi
nyaandf
ri
es.
”
“
You’
regoi
ngt
ogai
nwei
ght
.”
Oh,Ididn’
tknowhewasadiet
ici
an.Iwal
kaway,
l
eavinghim wipi
ngt
hef
loor
.

Qophelowalksinwit
hat r
ansparentpl
ast
icpacket
ofamagwinya.Almostfi
ve,andaverywide
cont
aineroffr
ies.Heput
sitinfr
ontofmeandsays
MndenisaidImusteat.
Thi
sisani
nsul
t.Am Iapi
gnow?Whysomany?
I
’
m goi
ngt
oki
llt
hisst
upi
dbr
other
.Notnowt
hough.
Iaddsauce,
extr
ahot
,andenjoymymealwhi
le
watchi
ngSango’
scar
toons.
“
Hasanyoneseenmyphone?
”
Justt
hemanIwant
edt
osee!
“
Whydi
dyoubuysomanyvet
koeks?Forwho?
”I
ask.
Hel
ooksatt
hepl
ast
icpacketont
het
abl
e.
“
Whoat
ethem?
”heasks.
Whatki
ndofast
upi
dquest
ioni
sthi
s?
“
Me,
”Isay.
“
Iboughtthem foryou.Di
dn’
tyousayyouwant
ed
t
hem forbreakf
ast?”
“Idi
d,butyoudi
dn’
thavet
obuysomanyl
ikeI
’
ma
pigorsomethi
ng.
”
Hef
rowns.
Ipickanot
herone, l
eavingonlytwoint hebag,
they’
resosoftanddelicious.Thi
sisthemost
amazingbreakfastever.“Andwheredi dthechi
ps
go?”Iask,
lookingattheempt ycontainer.
Si
lence.
.
.
Ngcwet
hi
“
Howol
disshe?
”heaskst
hemot
her
.
“
Six,
”shesaysandshedsanot
hert
ear
.
“Whendi
ditst
art
?”heasks,
li
ft
ingt
hechi
ld’
s
swoll
enf
oot.
“Shewastwo,buti
twoul dcomeandgo.Thist
ime
hasbeendif
fer
ent,she’sbeensickf
ormont
hsand
shecan’
tevenwalk,”sheexplai
ns.
Heexhal esandnodshi shead.Hear ri
vedher eby
dawn, leavinghi spregnantfiancéaloneonbed.
He’dbeenhavi ngt hi
sdr eam fordaysbutt he
pict
urewasn’ ttooclear.It
’sonlylastnightwhenhe
sawever ythi
ng.Thechi ldont hedeat hbed,her
depressedmot herwaili
ngandpr ayi
ng, andthe
great-
gr andmot hershiveringinthecol dwith
nothi
ngcover ingherbodyandherwr i
nkledhands
cl
aspedt ogetherasi fshewasbeggi ngf or
somet hing.
“
Wehavet
ogot
oyourhomeMama,
”het
ell
sher
.
“
Butwear
ehome,
”thewomansays,
conf
used.
“Thesear
ejustwallsshel
ter
ingyou.Youhavet
ogo
backhome, whereyourmotherwasborn,
you
belongt
here,nothere,
”hesays.
“
ButI
’
m mar
ri
ed,
”shesays.
“Youj usthavear i
ngdecorati
ngyourf i
nger.Youare
notmar ri
ed.Yourmot herwasnevermar r i
edeit
her,
you’rebot htheSibisi
sandt hegrandmot herwho’s
beenpr ot
ectingyouisgetti
ngtired.Youhavet ogo
home, KwaSibisi,r
ebuil
dthathomeandgi veyour
great-grandmot heraplacetostay.She’
scol dout
there.
”
“Whataboutmydaughter?Wehaveadoct or
’s
appoi
ntmentnextweek.Wecannotmissit,
EmaMbathenither
earen’
tenoughdoctor
s.”
Thisisnotwhathecameher etodo,begginganold
woman, buthehast ostaycalm.He’sacrossthe
provi
nce,hehast otakethi
swomant o
EmaMbat heni,
somevi l
lageinthenorthofKZNand
helpherprepareaplaceforhergreat
-grandmother
tostayandcarryouttheceremoniesthatneedtobe
done.Itmighttakedaysoraweekbuthecannot
communicatetotheworld,
especi
all
ytoZano,
becausehe’
llbedist
ract
ed.Hehastobehere,
physi
call
y,mental
lyandspir
it
uall
y.
Theyounggi
rlneedshi
m.
“Youcanstaybehindifyou’
rethatcommit
tedto
yourfakehusband,butthechi
ldneedst
ohealand
fort
hattohappensheneedst obeattheSibi
sis,
”he
says.
Hereyeswiden.Shecan’tsepar
atefrom her
daughter
.Who’l
llookaf
terher?Ifsheleavesher
husbandwil
lbe….
“
No!
”shescreamswhenNgcwet
hiwal
kst
owar
ds
t
hegi
rl
’sbed.
Hestopsandsi ghs.Thisi
sgoingtobeoneoft hose
epi
sodeswher ehewi sheshewasn’twhohei s.I
t
wasbetterwhenhehadnooneathome, hisfamily
under
stood,butZanamuhl awon’tunder
stand.To
makemat ter
swor se,she’
spregnantwit
htheirfi
rst
chi
ld.
Anothersi
gh!Hegoesagai
nsthi
sself
-mader
ules,
hetakesouthi
sphoneandsendatext.
**
*I’
M AWAY,
WORKING,I
TMI
GHTTAKEAFEW
DAYSORAWEEK.ILOVEYOUZANAMUHLA,
TAKE
CAREOFYOURSELF**
*

Heshouldn’
thavewaitedfortheresponsebecause
heknewitwasgoingtochallengehisemotional
space,
whichhecan’taff
ord.
Buthewai
tsandt
her
esponsebeepsi
n.

**
*MYBI GGESTMI STAKEWASFALLI
NG
PREGNANTBEFOREUNDERSTANDI NGTHE
SACRIFICESIHAVETOMAKEI NTHIS
RELATIONSHIP.IREGRETTHATMORETHANI
REGRETDI SOBEYINGMYBROTHER…IWILLTAKE
CAREOFMYSELF* **
[
11/
19,
09:
57] :Chapt
erFor
ty-
One
Nont
obeko
Ididn’
tthi
nktherewasagent lemani nhim.Not
evenonce.Buteverydayhesur prisesme;thegift
s,
sweetmessagesandr omanticdinners.Atfi
rstI
wasuncomf ort
able,aski
ngmysel fwhati fi
twas
j
ustaphase?Youknownewr el
ationshiphypeand
all
,buthe’
sremainedt hesamef ormont hs.He’snot
changing,
inst
eadhe’ sget
tingbettereveryday.
“Wherear
eyout
aki
ngme?
”Iask,
twent
ymi
nut
es
onthedri
ve.
“
You’
l
lsee,
”hesays.
It
’sThur
sday,tomor r
owwebothhavetogotowork,
whatcoulditbe?Itcan’
tbeasurpr
isedi
nner
,he
knowshissexdr i
ve,we’
dbothendupnotwaking
uptomorrow.

Okay,weareinthevil
lage.Noti
nthefar
m, j
usta
fewyardsawayf r
om thegigant
ichomest
eadI
usual
lyseeinthepict
ures.
“
Wear
eher
e,”hesaysandpul
lsup.
“
Whatar
ewedoi
ngher
e?”Iask.Ihopehe’
snot
taki
ngmetohismother
.I’
m notdr
essedpr
oper
ly
andI’mj
ustnotr
eady.
“Thisi
swherewearegoi
ngtol
ive.
”Hepoint
s
aroundtheopenar
eawit
htr
eesandgrass.
“
Busi
khaya?
”I’
m notsur
ewhat
’sgoi
ngonher
e.
“Ourhomewi l
lbehere.Ngcwethiwillbebehind
thoset r
ees.Mndeniwillbether
e,”hesaysand
pointsabovethehomest ead.“I
fhedoesst ayinthe
vil
lageandnotgot othebigciti
es,Mnothowi llbe
there,belowMndeni.
”
Ilookli
keafool
,I’
m sur
eofit
.I’
m al
sol
ooki
ngout
forsnakes,
thegrassi
salmostki
ssi
ngmyknees,
anythi
ngcouldhappen.
“Mazwakhewil
lbel
efti
nhi
spr
oper
tyi
npeace,
”he
saysandchuckl
es.
“
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”Iask.
Hi
sarm wrapsar
oundmywai
st.Asof
tpeckl
ands
ont
hesideofmyf ace.
“
Wecan’tallsquatinther
e.Wehavetomoveout
wit
hourwives,onlytheel
destsonhast
oremai
nin
Ndaba’shouse.Butwecan’tmovefar
,ourli
vesare
here,MaMbonambigaveusourpiecesofland.I
t’
s
nottoosmall,
right
?Wecanhaveapooli fyouwant,
aplayareaforthekidsher
eand…”
Whoooah!Whopr
essedt
hef
ast
-f
orwar
dbut
ton?
“
I’
m notyourwi
feBusi
khaya,
”Isayi
nawe.
“Butsoonyouwil
lbe,
”hesaysandwal
ksar
ound,
admiri
ngthenat
uresurr
oundi
ngus.
Thismanisnotj
oki
ng.He’
sser
iousandscar
ingt
he
fuckoutofme.
“
BusikhayaIhaveacompanytor
un.Ican’
tjust
movehereandbecomeavill
agehousewi
fe,
”Isay.
“Sowhatdoyousuggestwedo?ThatIl eavethe
vil
lageandcomet othecityandbecomeaci t
y
house- husband?Umf aziudel
aikhayanakhokonke
Nont obeko,nottheotherwayaround.”
“Areyouinsane?Areyouawareofwhatyou’re
sayingt
omer i
ghtnow?”Lor
d,Icannotbel
ievethi
s.
“
WhenIaskedforyourloveIwasn’tj
ustaski
ngf
or
amut
ualfeel
ingorforyourbody.I
nyouIsaw
someoneIcanbui ldafamil
ywith,
someoneIcan
sharemyl i
fewith,
someonewhocanhelpmebui ld
andexpandt heMthembuclan.
”Hedrawsabr eat
h
andwal ksbacktome.Hisstar
emakesme
uncomfortabl
e,especi
all
ywhenIknowthathe’
s
pissed.
“I
’m notleavingt hevi
ll
ageNtobe.I
’m notleavi
ng
myf oref
at her’
sland.Areyoustayi
ngwi t
hmeor
you’
regoi ngt oleave?
”
“You’
reaski
ngmet ochoosealr
eady?”Iaski
n
shock.Wearenotevenpastourfi
rstt
ri
mesteri
na
rel
ati
onshi
pandIalreadyhavetol
etgoofmy
company!
“
Thehar
dwar
eiswai
ti
ngf
ormycal
l,
”hesays.
“
Meani
ng?
”Iask.
“
Ior
der
edt
hebui
ldi
ngmat
eri
al.
”
Thi
siscr
azy!
“Saysomethi
ngst
handwasami
.”Hi
svoi
cei
snow
soft
ening.
“
Whatdoyouwantmet
osay?Youhaveal
ready
deci
dedandIhavenosayi
nanyt
hing,
”Isay.
“
Ist
hatayes?
”heasks.
If
rown.
“
Ayes?
”
“Uzongakhi
saumuzi
?”(
woul
dyouhel
pmebui
lda
home)
“
Wel
l,
Icanhel
pwi
tht
her
ooft
il
esandwi
ndows.
”
Hebr
eaksabr
iefchuckl
eandpul
lsmei
nhi
sar
ms.
“
Myuncl
eswi
lll
etyourf
ami
lyknow,
”hesays.
“
Knowwhat
?”Iaskwi
thmyeyebr
owsf
urr
owed.
Hesmi
lesandpl
ant
sawetki
ssonmycheek.
“Thattheirdaughteri
saboutt
obuymewi ndows
andt heroofti
les.TheMthembusarenotscammers,
everythi
nghast obeonthebook,”hesays.
“Wait…”Ipushhim of
fandst epaway.Buthe's
stubborn,hedoesn'
tunderst
andt hi
s‘gi
ving
someonespacet obreathe’t
hing,hepul
lsmeback
andengulfsmei natightembrace.
“
Whatdoest
hismeanBusi
khaya?
”Iask.
“Itmeanst hati
naf ewyearstocomet hi
ssideof
thevil
lagewi l
lhaveabout5homest eadsof
abaThembu.Ourki dswil
lgr
ow,taketheirwivesand
moveout .Inthreedecadeswe'l
lbemor ethanjusta
clan,
we' r
ebui l
dinganati
onhere.”
Soundsli
keawilddream.Noki dwillwanttogrow
upandspendtherestofhisl
ifeinthevil
lage.Just
i
ncasehehasn'tnoti
ced,ci
ti
escr eatemore
opport
uni
ti
esf
oryoungpeopl e.
“DoesZanamuhlaknow? ”Iask.Idon'
tknowwhyI
wanttoknow,I'
mj ustcur
ioustoknowi fshe'
s
awareofthei
rplansandthefactthatshe'sst
uck
hereforl
if
e.
“Shet
hinksthey'l
lbemovingtoatownhouse,but
Ngcwethi'
speoplecoul
dst ar
tbui
ldi
nganydayfrom
now.AtleastthemainhouseandNgcwethi
'shut
shoul
dber eadybefor
ethewedding.”
Icannotbel
ievet
his!
“
Whatyeardoy’
allt
hinkt
hisi
s?1945?
”Iask.
Hedoesn'
tcare.Al
lthisi
snormalt
ohi
m.Hesees
not
hingwrongwiththeli
fet
heywantf
orus,
thei
r
par
tner
s,andthei
rkids.
“
Whyi syourbondi
ngwhitehere?”He'st
ouchi
ngthe
t
ailofmyweave.Yeshesaid‘bonding'
,t
heBrazi
li
an
weaveIshippedal
lthewayfr
om t heUS!
“
It
'sbl
onde,
notwhi
te,
”Isay.
“Oh!”Hel ooksconfused, butIdon'thavethe
strengthtobeapr e-schoolteacherrightnowand
teachagr own-assmanaboutcol our s.Ist
il
lneedto
comet ot er
mswi ththefactt hatI
'm goingtomove
here,inlessthanayear ,hopefull
y,andspendt he
restofmyl if
ehere.
.
.
MaMbonambi

Hetear
sthesachetofsugarandpour
sitint
oher
cupbef
orehandi
ngt het
easpoontoher.
Hewai
tsunt
ilshef
ini
shesst
ir
ri
ngi
tandsi
psaf
ew
t
imesbecauseheknowshowmuchshel
ovesher
t
ea.
Thenheasks,
“Howar
etheki
ds?
”
Shesipsagai
n,put
sthecupont
hesaucerand
smil
es.
“
Handf
ul,
asal
ways,
”shesaysandt
heybot
hlaugh.
“
Ihopei
t'
snotMndeniagai
n,”hesays.
Shelaughs.Wat chi
ngherlaughhasal waysbeen
hisfascinat
ion.Hereyesshutandshealwaysputs
herhandacr osshermoutht ocoverup.I
t'
scrazy
thatshehasn'tchangedthatmuch, f
ourkids,
two
grandchildr
en,andhestil
lseesherthesameway
hedidt wenty-
fi
veyearsago.
“Notthi
sti
me.MazwakheandBusikhayaare
actual
lymorehandf
ult
hantheyoungerones,
”she
says.
“
Ishefi
tt
inginthough?
”He'
saski
ngabout
Mazwakhe.Concerndi
mshi
seyes.
“He'
soneofthem.Theyf
ightli
kecat
s,Idon'
tthi
nk
anyoft
hem everapol
ogi
zes,youj
ustseethem
gett
ingalongagain.It
hinkhe'sal
waysfi
tt
ed,
from
physiquetobehaviour
,thatboyhasal
waysbeen
Madoda's,wejustcouldn'
tseeit.
”
“
MadodaandIal
sof
oughtl
ikecat
s,”hesays.
Shesl
ight
lyf
rownsi
ndi
sbel
ief
.
“
Idon'
tthi
nkyouwer
eeveraggr
essi
ve.
”
Hebl
ushesandhi
desi
tbyt
aki
ngasi
pofhi
s
whi
sky.
“
Real
ly?
”Hi
sli
pscur
vei
ntoasmi
le.
Hehasstar
ted.He'
sreal
ly53year
sold,
thist
hingof
hi
m act
ingl
ikeayoung,t
hirst
yboyshouldcometo
anendsomeday.
“Don'
tdothatSi
yabonga,
youknowhowImeani
t,
”
shesays.
“DidIsayanyt
hing?Ij
ustaskedaquest
ion,
”he
saysandshrugshisshoul
derswit
hasmi r
konhis
face.
“You'
reexcl
usi
vel
yaggressive.Notphysi
call
yli
ke
yournephews,
”shecl
ari
fies,hercheeksheat
ingup.
Urgh!
Helovesi
twhenshe'sblushi
ng.Thingshavenot
beeneasyandtheyneverwil
lbe.Their‘
thi
ng’was
al
waysstrongbutcompli
catedatthesamet i
me.

Asi ftheuniversewasi mplyingsomet hing,two

yearsaf t
erhisownwi f
ediedi nahor ri
fi
ccar
accident,herhusbanddi edinanat tack.Wel l
,he
wasat t
ackedbyt hesonheneverknewhehad.
Siyabongawast herewhent heboy'smur derwas
plannedbyMadodaandhi sassociates.Mazwakhe
wasbecomi ngat hreattohisplans.Hewas
becomi ngapr oblem andtheyhadt oel i
mi natehim.
That '
showt hewor l
dhasal waysbeen, especial
ly
withthepower fulpeople.Youst andont heirpath,
youdi e.

Mazwakheknewt hat.Notevenoncedidhedoubt
thepowerMadodahad.Buthewasn' tgoingtoback
down.Hedoesn'tdothat.Hefaceshisenemies,
he
fi
ghtswhenheneedst ofightanddealswit
hthe
consequencesl
ater
.
Hewasaboutt odealwi t
htheconsequencesbut
Ngcwethif
elli
llthatni
ght.Madodawasr eady,hi
s
associ
atewasnextt ohisphone,wai
ti
ngf orthecal
l
tocarr
youttheirplan.
Butno, thespeci alsonhadtoplaydead.Hejust
l
aidonbed, ascr azyasitmaysoundbuthe
stoppedbr eathing.Madodahadt oputever
ything
onhol d.Helovedhi ssons,
he'ddief
orthem,andhe
l
ovedhi swife.Maybenotmor et
hanhehadl oved
Celi
we, butshegavehi m afamil
yandsupported
himt hrought hestorms.Shewasagoodwi f
eand
hetriedt obeagoodhusband.Theywer ehappy.
Shewashappy, mor ehappythanhemadeher ,so
hethoughti twast hemoneyandhewor kedharder
everyday.

Thatdaywhenhedi ed, Ngcwet hicould'

veseeni t
comingbutheonlysensedi tafteri
thadhappened.
Oneofthem hadtodi e.Itcould'
vebeenMazwakhe,
butNgcwethihadoneofhi swor stepi
sodest hat
night
.OntheothersideMazwakhewaspl anning,
themanhedi dn'
tknowl ovedhi smot herwithevery
boneinhisbody,hadkill
edhismother,
orsohe
beli
eved.Hewentt hr
oughwhathewentt hrough
becauseofhim andhisstupi
dfarm.Raisi
ngal i
tt
le
gir
l,pr
otecti
ngheragainstt
hepolygamousf ami
ly
andf i
ghti
ngforsurvi
valwhil
ehi
sf at
herwascosy
onbedwi thhisyoungestwif
e.I
twasallMadoda's
faul
t.

Hismot herdidn'
thavemuchbuthehadanor mal
l
ifewhenshewasst il
lal
ive.Heworehi
skhaki
shorts,
TougheesandReebokbackpackand
fol
lowedot herki
dstoschool.Hehadatimetogo
fi
shing,toplaysoccerwi
thhisfr
iendsandcome
homet oawar m meal
.
Thedayhi smotherdiedwi llalwaysbeacl ear
pict
ureinhishead.Shecr i
edforhour sbytheside
oftheroad.Heremember stryingtopusht he
wheelbarr
owt hr
ought hebusheswi t
hhi sfather
watchingontopofthehi llwithhisotherwives.He
remember sgett
ingacal lfr
om t hedr
iverthatthe
carhehadhi r
edwasst uck.Theyhadt owaitfor
hoursforthemechanict oar r
iveandf i
xit.An
ambulancewasal r
eadynotanopt i
on.Theycoul
d
onl
yfetchthesickpersonifshewasont heot
her
si
deoft hevi
ll
age;thebett
erside.
Somet hinghappened,hehadneverwitnessedi ti
n
thepastbutwheni thappened,hefel
tit
.Hi s
mot her'
ssoulleavi
ngherbody.Hereyesst ayed
openedbutherbodywasst i
llandcol
d.Wi thout
Zanamuhl anotici
ng,hepusheddownhereyel ids
withhisf i
nger
sandpr et
endedasifeverythingwas
okay.
Twodayslat
ershewasaski
ngonequest
ion,
hundr
edti
mesaday;“Whenismom comingback
fr
om t
hehospit
al?
”
He'
dbrushhercornrows,t
racehisfi
ngerthr
ough
t
herowsandtellherfakehospi
talst
ori
es.Unti
lhe
wasfor
cedtotellherthet
rut
h.
Hi
sunclesaidhemustwhi sperinherearwhenshe
wasasleepatni
ght.That
'showal lki
dsare
i
nfor
medoft hei
rparent
s’death.Butnotwit
h
Hl
ahla….
Thel
ight
swer
eof
f.Het
ipt
oedi
nthedar
kandst
ood
nexttoherbed.Shewassnor
ing,
orsohi
sear
s
heard.
“Hl
ahla….
”Hetookadeepbr
eat
handleanedover
herearandj
ustli
kehewasi
nst
ruct
ed,he
whisper
ed.
“
Zanamuhlaourmot
herhasl
eftt
hewor
ld,
she'
sno
l
ongerwi
thus.”
Shej umpedup.Heal soj
umpedawayi nshock.She
wasasl eep,wasn'tshe?Herpainfulscr
eam rangin
hisearsforyears.Shecriedherlungsoutandhe
j
ustst oodther
eandswal lowedbackhi sownt ear
s.
Indodaayithambinjengotamati
si.So,helether
grieveandstayedst r
ong.

Evenwhenhest oodfacetofacewiththemanhe
beli
evedwast hecauseofhismot her'
sdeath,
Hlahla'
spainf
ulscream moti
vatedhimt opullt
he
tr
igger.Notonce,butsixt
imes.
Thenwhenhesawhi mlyingonthesand,
nextto
theri
ver,
hisbl
oodf
lowingint
otheri
verand
fl
ushingaway,
heputshishandsonhisknees,
took
adeepbr eathandl etsoutthepainf ulcryhewas
neveral
lowedt oexpr ess.I
tfel
tr i
ghtt ocry,l
ikethe
deadmanwasn' tjudginghimf orit.Strange,i
sn't
?
Findi
ngcomf ortinamanyouj ustkill
ed?Litt
ledid
heknowt hathewascomf ort
ablecr yinginfrontof
hi
m becauset hebl oodthatwasf lowi ngint
ot he
ri
verwashi sownbl ood.

Madoda'sdeathcould'
vepavedawayf oralotof
thi
ngs.Anditdid;Ngcwethifal
li
nginlovewiththe
famil
y'
swor stenemy'sdaughter,
thenewr oad
const
ructi
on,Mazwakhebei ngdiscoveredand
Mnothocancelli
nghisfl
ightandstayinginthe
countr
ytofindclosur
e.
ButSiyabongaandMaMbonambistil
lcan'
tbe
toget
her.Whatwouldpeopl
esay?Thekids?They'
re
allgr
own-ups.Busi
khayawoul
ddosomet hi
ngcrazy,
theyknowit.I
t'
sjusti
mpossi
ble.
“
Youknowmydoctorsai
dImusttakeiteasyont
he
j
oint
sandmuscl
es,
”hesaysandwinksather.
“
Isuggestt
hatyoul
i
stent
othedoct
ort
hen,
”she
says.
Hi
seyeswiden.Shelaughsbecausesheknows
whathe'
sabouttosay.
“
I'
drat
herdi
eont
opofyou,
”hesays.
Theybothlaugh.Wi t
ht hetwooft hem i t
'sal
ways
beennatural.Fr
om thoseni ghtswhenMadoda
woulddisappearformont hs,leavingheralonewith
thechi
ldren.Thoseforbiddenni ghtswher ehe'
d
sneakintotheirbedroom andkeepherwar m.
Nothi
ngwaseverf orced,t
heyj ustfitl
iketwopieces
ofthemissingpuzzle.
Shewasn'tgoingt oleaveherhusbandf orhi m and
hewasn'tgoingtol eavehiswi f
ef orherei ther.And
theywerealsonotgoi ngt oendi tf oranyr eason.
Notevenfortheirmar ri
ages.Theyj ustneededt obe
caref
ulandtheysucceeded.Twent y-fiveyear sof
forbi
ddenlove,keptstrongandf reshbehi ndt he
famil
y.Twentyf i
veyear s!That '
showl ongt hey'
ve
beentoget
her ,
theyst art
edj ustafterMndeni '
sbirt
h
andtheybothhavenor egr ets.None, whatsoever .
Noteventheirmar ri
ages, t
heyl ovedt heirpartners
andtheylovedeachother
.Theydidn'
thavet
o
choose,buti
ftheyhadto,andift
hekidswer
en't
i
nvolved,t
heybothknowthatthey'
dchooseeach
other
.
Mnot howasborn,byluckhewasMadoda'
s,and
yearslat
erthegrandchi
ldr
encameandhewasstil
l
holdingherhandbehinddoor
s.I
t'
sbeengood,
reall
ygood.
“Howismakotidoi
ng?
”heasksaf
tert
hei
rmoment
ofbei
nglove-
bir
ds.
“She'l
lbestr
ong.It'
ssti
llal
lnewt oherandshe's
carryi
ngachild,buti
nti
meshe' lladj
ust.
”Itsounds
mor eli
keshe'
sconvincingherselfmorethanshe's
tryi
ngtoconvincehim.
“It
hinkshe'stooyoung.Ngcwet
hii
sver
y
complicat
ed.Rememberwhathappenedwhenhe
tur
nedt wenty-
four
.”
Sheheavesasigh.Thatcannothappenagai n.She'
s
beggedtheancest
ors,theymust '
veli
stened,
her
famil
ycannotgothrought hatagai
n.Zanamuhlais
tooyoungtohandlethat.There'
sababyont heway,
she'
l
lneedNgcwet
hi'
ssuppor
tmor
ethanever
.
“Iwon'
tal
lowthattohappenSi
yabonga.Myson
deser
veshappinessandZanamuhlai
shis
happi
ness,
”shesays.
“Youknowhe' snotjustyourson,he'
stheservantof
theelder
s.Iftheycallhi
mt oBotswana,t
hat'
swher e
hewi l
lgo,”hepausesandr eachestoherhandand
brushesittender
ly.
“Butasyousai
d,makot
iwil
ladj
ust
,”hesaysand
comfort
sherwit
hasmile.
“Oh,umnt
anabant
u!”Sheexhal
esdeeplyandbl
inks
backthet
earst
hreateni
ngtoshootout
.
He'sbyhersi
deinthebli
nkofaneye.Hepull
sher
handupandhelpsheroffthechai
r.St
rongar
ms
embraceheri
nat i
ghthug.Hisbeardt
ickl
est
he
si
deofherneckasheplantsakissonherski
n.
“
I'
m her
eThandazi
le.
”
Shepul
lsher
sel
ftoget
herandsmi
les.
“
Iwon'
tcr
y,I
'
m agr
ownGogo,
48year
sol
d.”
“
Andi
t'
snotgoodf
oryourheal
th.Theonl
ycr
ying
that
'sgoodforyoui
s…….”Hepul
lshertowardsthe
bedroom door
.Thedoorcl
osesandlocksbehind
them.
“
Whenyoucryont
hisbed,
”headdsandt
akeshi
s
j
acketof
f.
Shefoldsherarms,
standsbythewar
drobeand
watcheshim st
ri
pshiscl
othesof
f.
She'snotaboutt
otakeherownclot
hesof
f.Shehas
neverdonethati
nthepast.Notwi
thhi
m.I
t'shi
sjob
toundressherandli
ft
shertobed.
[
11/
19,
09:
58] :Chapt
erFor
ty-
Two
Vuyi
swa

“
Areyougoingtosul
kthewhol
eweek?”Shet
hrows
i
cesi
nsidehergl
assandsit
sonthecouchwi
ththe
r
emoteonherlap.
“He'sgoi
ngtoleavemeNcami .It
'snotf
unny.”I
'
m
sti
llpaci
ngar
ound, constantl
ylooki
ngoutsi
dethe
windowandprayingt hatMazwakhecomesabi t
l
ate.MaybeIwoul d'
vegat her
edenoughstrengt
hby
t
hen.
“
Sowhat?Didhefeedyouubheka-
mina-ngedwa?I
woul
dn'
tbesurpr
isedi
fhedid.He'
screepy.”
Shewon'
trel
atetomypainbecauseshe'
sbli
nded
byhat
eandshe'sdi
sregar
dingmyfeeli
ngsasshe
al
waysdoes.
IwishIcantalktoZanamuhl abutshemi ghtjudge
meandherl oyal
tyli
eswi thherbr
other.Heneedst o
hearthi
sfrom me,maybehe' l
lunderstandifItel
l
him myreasons.Iwasn'tfi
ttobeamot herandI
wasn'tgoi
ngtomot herachildconceivedthatway.
Itwasgoingtobehar d,
likeascaronyourf leshthat
keepsremindi
ngyouoft hepainyouwentt hrough.
Bontl
ewillat
tackmewi
thBi
blever
ses,
Iwon'
teven
st
artwit
hher.
Thecarhoot
!
Toosoon.Mymout
htur
nsdr
y.
“
That
'syourbush-
man,
”Ncamisays.
Il
etoutadeepsi
ghandcol
lectmyj
acketf
rom t
he
bedr
oom andmakemywayout .
Hehast oknowt oday,thenNgcwethicanhel pme
withwhat everri
tualsIneedtodo.Ihat et
alking
aboutNhl aka,buttodayit'
sessent
ialthatItouchon
thatsubject,Idon'
twantMazwakhet obesur prised
i
ft heyeverhappent omeet .Knowi
ngNhl aka, Idon't
haveanydoubt sthathe’dcausedramaandactl i
ke
asuper man.

Ithoughthewascomi ngalone.Whydidhebr i
ng
hisbrot
her s?Busi
khayamakesmeuncomf or
tabl
e,
tomakei tworse,heli
kesstari
ngatpeople.Ihave
nodoubtt hathe'
sJudgeJudyi nhi
shead.He
j
udgesandhat espeople.
“
Sani
bona,
”It
ryt
osoundecst
ati
c.
“Ri
hanna,”Busikhayasays,lacki
ngt
hewel coming
smileonhisface.JudgeJudy!Iwonderhowhi s
gir
lf
r i
endcopes.Idon'thaveaprobl
em withpeople
call
ingmebyanyf emalestar'
snamebecauset hey
sayitinacompl i
mentingway.Buthe'ssayingi
tto
cri
ti
cizemyst yl
e,Iknowi t
.
Whenmymancl imbsoutoft hecari nhisdungaree
andwhi tesneakers,Iexhaledeeplyandsmile.I
can'thelpit
.Imayhat ehowheal waystakesout
onear m ofhist
opandr oll
suponel egofhispantto
hisknee.ButIwoul dn'thavehim anyotherway.
Beinglikethi
siswhatmakeshi m uniqueandIlove
thatabouthim.He' sunique.
Hepul
lsmebehi
ndt
hecar
.
“
Areyoual
ri
ght
?”heasks.
Nope,
I'
mfarf
rom bei
ngal
ri
ght
.ButInodmyhead.
“
They'
ref
etchi
ngMndeni'
scari
ntown.We'l
ldr
op
t
hem t
her
eandgotoMi ssi
on,
”heexpl
ains.
“
Okay,
”Isay.
Hi
sst
aredi
gst
hedept
hsofmysoul
.
“
We'
l
ltal
k,
”hesays.
“
About
?”Iask.
“
What
evert
hati
seat
ingyou.
”
Iwantt
obreakthenewsr
ightnowsothathecanbe
angr
yatonceandsendmebackinsi
dethehouse.
I
t'
sgoingtobemoredi
ffi
culti
fhehast
ospendt he
whol
enightwit
hmeanddr i
vemebackhere.Idon'
t
wantt
owitnesshi
sanger.
“
Ther
e'ssomet
hingIneedt
otel
lyou,
”Isay.
“
Whati
sitst
handwasami
?”
“
Twoyear
sagoIt
erm….
”
Hoot
!!
!!
“Mazwakheyouhavet
hewholeni
ghtwit
hher
!”
yel
lsMndenii
nsi
dethecar
.Thedevi
l'
sPA!
Hepl
ant
saki
ssonmycheek.
“
We'
l
ltal
k,
”hesays.
Inodmyheadandf
oll
owhi
m.
Bef
oreopeni
ngt
hedoorhegl
ancesbackatme.
“
IloveyouVuyi
swa,
”hesays.
“Mazwakhe,
”Ireal
lydon'
twanttocry.Thi
smight
endint
ears.Hemightwanttotakebackhiswords
whenhefindsoutwhatIdid.
Isi
tbet
weenhim andtheicyyoungbr ot
her.You'
d
sweart
heguyismutebydi sabil
it
y,whereashe’
s
j
ustmutebypri
de.Ican'tbel
ieveZanamuhlaonce
hadacrushonthi
sice-pri
nce.I'
m gl
adshemet
Ngcwet
hi,ani
ceweirdo.
“
Whenist
hegr
aduati
on?
”Oh,
hedoesopenhi
s
mout
hwhenheli
kes!
“
10Oct
ober
,”Isay.
“
Congr
atul
ati
ons.
”
He'sawkward.Heneedsagir
lf
ri
end,
evenawife,
he'
sgrownnow.Theyexcludemeandstar
ttal
king
aboutsoccer
.
IwonderwhereNgcwethiis,
he'
stheonl
yone
missi
ng.Ihaven'
ttal
kedtoZanamuhl
ainawhil
e,
I'
vebeendrowninginmyownsor r
ows.
“Where'
sNgcwethi?
”IaskMazwakhebutI
'mloud
enoughtosi
lenceeveryoneandgetaf
ewheads
tur
ningtomydirect
ion.
“
He'
sint
hewat
er,
”saysMndeni
.
Thel
ookheget
sfr
om Busi
khayacoul
d'vecr
emat
ed
met oashes.Iwonderwhythi
sismaki
nghi
m angr
y,
Mndeniisalwaysstupi
d,heli
veswi
tht
hem,t
hey
shouldbeusedtohim.
“
He'
saway,
wor
king,
”Mazwakhesays.
If
eell
ikesomethi
ngisbeinghiddenf
rom mebut
i
t'
snoneofmybusi ness.Ionl
yneedtocheckon
myfri
endlat
er.

Bef
orel
eavingwehavetobuysomet hi
ngwe'l
leat
i
nthehouse.Whenhesaid;“Getsomet
hingwe'r
e
goi
ngtoeat.
”HethoughtI
'l
lgoscangreen-
pepper
andpi
ck10kgmaizemeal andasackofpotat
oes.
“
Whatar
ewedoinghere?”heaskswhenthe
womani
nfr
ontofusleavesthequeue.
“
Get
ti
ngsomet
hingt
oeatl
ater
,pi
zzas,
”Isay.
“Vuyi
swaIdon'
tli
ket
hese….
.”Thecashi
erl
if
tsher
eyestous.
“
Next
!”sheyel
lsandImovef
orwar
d.
Hesi
ghsbehi
ndme.
Icannotdealwit
ht hi
sruralsi
deofhim,I'
m not
goingtosti
rpapandpeel pot
atoes.I
fwe'
resti
ll
goingtobetogetherhe'
llhavetogetusedtofast
food.

“Sfebe!
”Someoneyell
satt
heent
rance,
grabbi
ng
everyone'
sat
tent
ion.
“Uzohoshal
anamhl anj
e?”(
Thi
siswher
eyou'
re
prost
it
uti
ngtoday)
He'sappr oachingmeandMazwakhe.Ever ythingis
onast andstil
l.Thesl i
pinmyhandi ssti
ckingt omy
sweatypal m.Idon' tcareabouttheinsult
s,thisis
notthef i
rstti
mehe' spubli
clyembarrassi
ngme.
Theonl ydiff
erencei sthattodayI'
m withMazwakhe,
amanIknowf orsurethathedoesn'tli
kebei ngthe
centerofinsultsandat tent
ion.
“
Doyouknowhi
m?”heasks,
cal
mly.
He'
sinfr
ontofus,
scanni
ngMazwakhef
rom head
t
otoeli
kesomepieceoft
rash.
“
Uthol
eumt
hondoomushasf
ebe?
”(Youf
ounda
newdi
€k,
bit
€h)
Deepbr
eat
hVuyi
swa!
“
Nhl
akapl
easel
eavemeal
one,
”Isay.
“
I'
lll
eaveyoual
onethedayyougi
vememychi
ld
t
hatyouabort
ed,sf
ebe!
”
Gasps!
BusikhayaandMndeniwalkthroughtheentr
ance
withthei
rbrowsfur
rowed.It
'
sget t
ingworse,
now
thewholefamil
yisabouttoknowmypastmi st
akes.
“
Mazwil
et'
sgo,
”Isayandpul
lhi
sar
m.
Hest
andsst
il
l.He'
sst
ari
ngatNhl
aka.
“
Babyasambe,
”Ibeg.
Nhl
akacl
ickshi
stongue.
“Baby?You'r
enowcalli
nggrown-assmenyour
baby,yetyouabor
tedourbaby.IlovedyouVuyi
swa
butyoudisappoi
ntedme.”Hereitcomes!Iwantt
o
die.
Theladycal
lsoutourordernumber .Idragmysel
f
tot
hecountertorecei
vethepizzas.Itfeel
sli
keI'
m
carr
yingpacket
sofcement
.Myeyesar
eblindedby
tear
sbutmyf eetf
indt
hewayt
otheparki
ng.
Hehasr ui
nedeveryt hi
ng.Iwasgoingtoexplainto
Mazwakhe,privat
ely.Idon'tknowifhewould've
under
stood,buthel ovesmeandl ovefor
gives,ri
ght?
Nowit
'l
lbei
mpossi
bleforhimtoli
stenandIdon'
t
t
hinkI
'
m emoti
onal
lyf
ittoexpl
ainei
ther
.
Hepar tswayswit
hhi sbr
other
sandwal
kstowar
ds
thecar.Heunl
ocksthedoorsandget
sonthe
dri
ver'
sseatwit
houtlooki
ngatme.
Hedoesn'
tsayanyt
hing,
neitherdoI
.Wedr
iveand
r
eachMissi
onintot
alsil
ence.
“
MazwakheIwasgoi
ngt
otel
lyou,
today.
”
Hepoursagl
assofwaterandwal
kst
othebedr
oom
andsl
amsthedoorbehi
ndhim.

Ihugmyselfonthecouchandletoutt
hetear
sI've
beenholdi
ngforanhourfl
ow.I'
vebeenwithpeopl
e
aft
erNhlakaandthi
sbabypredi
camenthasnever
surf
aced.Thi
ngswereokayandnor mal
.Butnow
thatI'
vefoundamant hatIreal
lyli
ke,t
hishast o
comeout .Hehadtofi
ndoutinpublic,
infrontofhi
s
brotherswhoIthinkar
ealreadyjudgmentalofour
rel
ationship.
“Vuyi
swawipeyourt
earsandsitupst
rai
ght
,”he
demands,
standi
ngnexttothecouchwit
hhi
sarms
fol
ded.
Idoashesaysandwai
tforwhat
’scomi
ng.
“
Howmanyabor
ti
onshaveyoudone?
”
Wow!
“
AnswermeVuyi
swa.
”
“
Onl
yoneandIhadmyr
easons.
”
“
Areyougoi
ngt
oabor
tmychi
ldr
ent
oo?
”
Agai
n,wow!
“
Mazwit
hat
'
snotf
air
,”Isay.
“
Whati
sfai
r?Ki
ll
ingani
nnocentsoul
?”
Real
ly?He'
snowdoi
ngJesus’
job.
“
Youki
ll
edyourownf
ather
!”
Fuck!Ishoul
dn'
thavesai
dthat
.
Iexpect
edhi
mtobeangr
ybuthe'
snot
.
“Hewasgoi ngtodothesamet
ome.Butift
hat
's
yourexcuse,t
henfi
ne,wecanmoveon.
”
“
MazwakheI'm sor
ry,
Ishouldn'
thavesai
dthat
.Can
wet
alk,
please?Iwil
ltel
lyouwhyIdidit
."
Heli
ft
shishandupandwal
kst
otheTVst
andand
gr
abstheremot
e.
“
Ther
e'snoval
idr
easont
oki
llyourownchi
ld.
”
Thef
etusvschi
ldst
ruggl
eisr
eal
!
“Really,thereisn'
t.Apar entpr
otect,
from dayone,
shedoesn' tspil
lbloodofherown.Nomat terhow
badt hesi t
uat i
onis,that
'swhyt hey'
recal
led-
bundlesofj oy.I'
l
lneverunderstand,Qopheloismy
world, Icannotimagi ne…”Hestopsandl ooksatme.
“
Qophel
o?”Iask.
“
It
's…youwon'
tunder
stand…i
t'
sreal
lycompl
icat
ed.
”
Isheki
ddingme?Whati
sgoi
ngonher
e?Ikeepmy
eyesfi
xedonhi
m.
“Whatdoyouwantt
owatch?”Hethi
nkswe'r
ejust
goi
ngtochanget
hesubj
ect?He'
sgotital
lwrong.
“Ihi
dethatIhadaf etustwoyear sagoandyou'
ve
beenjudgingmef orsoli
dfivemi nut
es.I
'
m abad
part
nerwhocommi tt
edthebi ggestsi
noneart
h,
ri
ght?Butyou'vebeenhidingal i
vingchi
ldf
rom me?
You'
reaf atherMazwakhe? ”
Hesi
ghsandnodshi
shead.
“
Busi
khayaandIshar
edababymama.
”
Shutt
hef
rontdoor
!!
!
“
Forr
eal
?”Iask.
“
Shewaswi
thmebef
oreshewaswi
thhi
m.”
Thi
xoonof
efe!
“What'
sthest
orywit
hyourf
amil
yandshari
ng?Is
Mndeninotsl
eepi
ngwit
hyourex-
gir
lf
ri
endt
oo?”I
ask.
Hechuckl
esandl
eansbackont
hecouch.
“
Insi
layet
hui
yabi
zana,
”hesays.
No,
hemust
n'tt
ryt
omaket
hissoundnor
mal
,
becausei
t'
snot
.
“
It
'sact
ual
lywei
rd,
”Isay.
“Notweirdasthatbabydaddyofyours.IfIdidn'
t
respectt
hespiri
tofyourchildIwoul
d’vesqueeze
hisball
sjustali
tt
lebit
,toteachhi
m al esson.”
I
'
mfor
givenal
ready?Iowet
hismanaf
ullbl
owj
ob.
“Butifheeverspeakstoyoul
iket
hatagai
nIwil
lki
ll
him.I'
mt heonlypersonwho'
sall
owedtomakeyou
cry,
”hesays.
“
You'
real
lowedt
omakemecr
y?”Shockmeagai
n.
“
Moreli
kehe'
sal
lowed,
”hesaysandpoi
ntsathi
s
f
ront
.
Beaut
if
ulbast
ard!Ij
umpt
ohi
slapandsuf
focat
e
hi
m wit
hakiss.
“
Thankyou,
”Isay.
“
Forwhat
?”Hef
rownssl
ight
ly.
“
Foraccept
ingmypastandmi
stakes.
”
“
Whatdi
dyout
hink?
”He'
sst
il
lconf
used.
“
Ithoughtyou'
l
lbr
eakupwi
thme.
”
Hebr
eaksi
ntol
aught
erandl
ooksatmei
ndi
sbel
ief
.
“
Hhayi
-boVuyi
swa!
”He'
sst
il
llaughi
ng.
“
You'
rei
gnor
ant
,remember
?”Isay.
Hel
aughsevenmor
e.
Jeez!Il
ovet
hishumanbei
ng.
.
.
Ngcwet
hi

Heknewt hiswasgoi ngtobeachal lengingt ask.He

hadtobegherf ortwodaysbef oreshegavei nand
packedherbags.Thi ngsdidn'
tgeteasywhent hey
arr
ived,hesti
llhadt obeghert odosomer i
tuals
shethoughtwer eridicul
ous.Ifitwasn'tforthelitt
le
gir
lhewoul d'
vel ef
t.Everyti
mehet houghtabout
l
eavinghe'dseeSangel i
hlebeinginthesame
si
tuati
onast hegi r
l.He'dwanthert ogethel p,ri
ght?
Thisiswhyhehast ostayunti
leverythingisdone.
Hopef ul
lyinthenextt wodayshe'llbedone.He
missest hekids,butmor et
hananyone, hemi sses
hisfiance.She'sangry,he'
ssureoft hat,butwhen
heget shomehe' llmakeupf oreverythingandshe'll
forgivehim.Shej ustneedsti
met oadj ust.Things
willbeokay.
Hewr apshimselfwit
ht heduvetandcloseshis
eyes.It
'saverycoldnightbutthememor i
esoft hei
r
ti
met ogetheral
wayskeephi m warm whereverheis.
Ifhewasnor mal,he'
dspendever yni
ghtwi t
hher
andbur yJamainsidehereverychanceheget s.
Hesqueezesthepi
ll
owtohi
schestandl
etst
he
t
houghtsofherdri
vehi
mtosleep.

*
**

~She'semotionall
ydrai
ned.Everyt
imesheenter
s
thebathr
oom, get
ti
ngoutofeveryone'
ssight
,she
sinksonthef
loorandcries.Thenshewashesher
faceonthesi
nkandwal ksoutwi t
hasmi l
e
plast
eredonherface.Sheregret
snotli
steni
ngto
Mazwakhe, hetoldhertochooseherf ut
urebutshe
wasadamantonchoosi ngaman.Amanwho' s
l
ivi
nghisdream, drivi
ngfancycar sandspending
l
esstimewi thher.Shetri
esbyal lmeanstohideher
sadnessfr
om hi m.Shehat es‘
Itoldyouso’
moment s.

Shehasascar fwr
appedar oundherneck.It
'svery
cold,
herhandsaretuckedinsidet
hepocketsofher
l
ongcoat.Shewalksintot hei
rbedroom andfi
nds
Mnothositt
ingonbed,readingamagazinehef ound
l
yingther
e.
“Mnot
ho,”shesaysi
nshock.Shedidn’
texpectto
fi
ndanyoneonherbed,
theyallr
especteachother'
s
pri
vat
espaces.
“
Zano,
Ithoughtyouwer
esl
eepi
ngout
,”hesays.
Shef
rowns.
Hesmi
lesandput
sthemagazi
neaway.
“
Areyoucol
d?”heasks.
“
Obvi
ousl
y,Godi
sfr
eezi
ngust
oday.
”Shet
akesout
hercoatandgoestothewardrobeandput si
ton
thehanger.Ri
ghti
nfrontofhi
m, shetakesouther
dressandgetsint
ohershortni
ghtie.
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?”Shef
inal
lyasks.
“Ij
ustwant
edt ocheckhowyou'r
edoing.Ngcwet
hi
hasbeengonef orweeksnow,I
'm sur
eyouneed
someonetoleanon,”hesays.
Sheexhal
esdeepl
yandshakesherhead.
“Tobehonest ,
Iregretfall
inginlovewi t
hyour
brother.Iwasn' tl
ivi
ngahappyl ifebeforehim, buti
t
wasn' tthiscompl i
cated,”shetell
shi m.He'sjusta
yearol derthanher ,
theyunder standeachot her
mor e,theyr el
ateonmanyt hi
ngs.It
'seasyf orhim
toopenupt oher,she'sbeent hereforhim
throughoutt heKhwezit hi
ng.Sheal sofindshim
easyt ot al
kt ocompar edtot heotherbrothers.Thei
r
rel
ationshi pisstr
ongbutunr ecognizable.
“Youdon'tmeanthatZanamuhl
a,”hesays,
searchi
nginhereyes.
“Imeani
tMnot
ho.Il
ovehim,
that'
soutofquest
ion,
butIwi
shhewasn'
tthi
scompl
icat
ed.Whycouldn't
hebeli
keyou?
”Sheclimbsonbedandl
eans
agai
nstt
heheadboar
d.
“Becausewear
edi
ff
erent
,”hesays,
shr
uggi
nghi
s
shoulder
s.
“
Ihat
ethatyou'
redi
ff
erent
,”shesays.
Heinhal
esdeepl
y,cl
imbsonbedwi
thonekneeand
engul
fsheri
nawar m hug.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”hesaysi
nal
owwhi
sper
.
“
Thankyou,
”shesays.
Hedoesn'
tbreakthehug.Shedoesn'tpushhim
ei
ther
.Theyremainli
kethat,
snuggl
edt oget
her.
Chestt
ochest.Facetoneck.Hear
tbeattoheart
beat
.
Slowl
y,heli
ft
shi
sheadt
oherf
aceandst
aresi
nto
hereyes.
“
You'r
ebeauti
fulZanamuhl
a.Whydi
dn'
tInot
ice
t
hisbackatschool
?”hesays.
“
Funny,
Idi
dnot
iceyoubutIdi
dn'
thavet
hegut
s.”
Hi
sfacel
ight
sup,
asmi
lest
ret
chesf
rom hi
sli
ps.
“
Real
ly?
”heasks.
“
Yeah,
Ihadacr
ushonyou.
”
Hishandseparatesherlegs,hef
it
shimselfin
betweenherandclosest heonei
nchdistancelef
t
betweenthei
rfaces.Theirl
ipsmeet.Hegrabsher
faceanddeepensthekiss.

Shebreaksthekissoutofbreat
h.Shel
ooks
shocked,orscar
ed,hereyesareal
lout
.
“
Mnot
hoI
'
m mar
ri
edt
oyourbr
other
,”shesays.
“He'
snothereandnobodyknowswhenhe'scoming
back.Ij
ustwantyout
ofeelgood,
Iknowthatyou
misshim.”
“
Thi
siswr
ong,
”shewhi
sper
s.
Heki
ssesheragai
nwhi
lehi
shandi
sli
ft
ingupher
ni
ght
ie.
“Iwil
lbegentl
eMaNgwane, nobodyhast
oknow
aboutthi
s.”Hebrusheshert
highs,
hismanhoodi
s
hardeni
ngagainsther.
“
WhatifNgcwethiseest
hisi
nhisdreams?Icannot
l
ose…”Heshushesherwithafi
nger
.
“I
nsil
ayamineyakheiyafana.Hewon'
tknow
becausehewon'tbeabletotell
,
”hesays.
She'
snotconvi
nced.
“PleaseZol
wandl
e, Ijustwantt
okeepyouwar
m,”
hisvoicebr
eaksi
nt oherearandshefeel
sthe
ti
nglesshehasn'
tfeltinalongti
me.
“
Zol
wandl
e,
”hecal
lssof
tl
y.
Shebr
eathesheavi
ly.Onl
ytheMt
hembuscal
lher
thi
swayanditsoft
ensher.
“
It
'sJama,
openf
orhi
m,”hebegs.
Sl
owly,shewidensherl
egsandl
etsherbackr
elax
onthepil
low.
Hetakesoutherunderwearandneatl
yputsitnext
toherfeet
.Hespit
sonhi sfi
nger
sandr ubsher
swoll
encli
t.She'
sbreathi
ngheavi
lyashecircl
es
hisf
ingeraroundi
t.
“
You'
ref
lawl
ess,
”headmi
resherbody.
“Yeah,ri
ght?”Obvi
ousl
y,he'
smockingher.She'
s
pregnant,herhi
psarewideranddecor
atedwith
stret
chmar ks.
“
Imeani
t,you'
rej
uicyandsexy,
”hesays.
Herblushi
ng-
momentisdist
urbedbyt
het
ongue
swi
rli
ngaroundheropeni
ng.
“
Mnot
ho!
”shescr
eamswi
thpl
easur
e.
Helicksher
,stickshistongueinheropeningand
suckshercli
t.She'sscreamingintongues,
wrappingherlegstight
lyaroundhim andpushing
hisheaddeeper .
Eventual
ly,
hegoesupt
oherl
ipsandki
ssesher
again.
“Pl
easeMnotho,
”shesays,
runni
ngherhandsal
l
overhi
sback.
Hesmi
les,
proudl
y.
“
Pleasewhat
?”heasks.
“
Pleasekeepmewar
m,”shesays.
“OkayMaNgwane.”Hedi
rect
shisti
ptohercooki
e
andrubshercl
it
.She'
spanti
ngandbeggi
nghimto
enter
.
Hi
smout
hshapesan‘
O'ashepusheshi
msel
f
i
nsi
deherwarmf l
esh.Her ocksupherhi
psto
wel
comehim andhereleaseshisfi
rstmoan.
“Fuck!”Hi
sheaddr opsoverherneck.Heput
smore
pressureinhi
sthrustsandli
ft
sherlegup.He'
s
hit
ti
ngi ti
neverycornerandshe'
senjoyi
ngever
ybi
t
ofit.
“
IloveyouZanamuhl
a,”wor
dsescapehi
sli
ps.
Shethinksi
t'
shi
sdi€kt
alki
ng,
buthepauseshi
s
thr
ustsandsaysi
tagai
n.
“
Ireal
lyl
oveyou,
”het
ell
sher
.
“MnothoIwantt
ocum,
”shesays,
dismi
ssi
nghi
s
stupi
dit
y.
Hesmi l
es.Hi
ssweatdr
opst
ohernoseasheki
sses
herl
ips.
“
Okaybutyouhavet
otur
nar
oundf
ir
st,
”hesays.
Hereyeswi
den.Hesmi
lesandpul
lsout
.
“
OnyourkneesZol
wandl
e,
”hesaysandspanksher
t
high.
Shegi
ggl
esandt
urnsonherkneesandhol
dson
t
hepi
l
low.
Hegrabsherbut
tocksapar
tandi
nser
tshi
msel
f
agai
n.
“
Iloveyoubabe,
”hesays.
“
Iloveyout
oo….
”~
*
**

Theli
tt
legi
rlhearsthescr
eam andwakesupher
motherwho'sfastasl
eeponthesponge.
“Sleep,
Bal
ungi
le,
”themot
herscol
dswi
thhereyes
closed.
“
It
'sMal
ume,
”shesays.
“Huh?”Sheopenshereyesandhear
sloudscr
eams
comingwhereMthembui ssl
eepi
ng.
Shetell
sherdaught
ernott
omoveandrushesout
tocheckwhat'
seati
ngtheyoungman.
He'
sonbedwi t
hhiseyescl
osed.He'
stear
ingt
he
pi
ll
owsinhishandsandscr
eaming;“
Zanamuhla!
Zanamuhl
a!No!No!No!”
Inhert
imet
hemosteff
ecti
vestr
ategyofwaki
ng
someoneupwasabucketofcol
dwater.
Hegaspsf
orai
rasthewaterf
lowsdownhisface
andj
umpsupwithhiseyeswi
delyopened.
“
What
'swr
ong?
”thewomanasks.
“Thegri
me...
..
"Hesl
idesdownonthef
loorand
star
tsgroani
ngli
keawildani
mal
.
[
11/
19,
09:
58] :Chapt
erFor
ty-
Thr
ee
Zanamuhl
a

Thehardestthingistoputonabr avefacewhil
e
i
nsideyou'reshatt
eredinpieces.Idon'
twanti
tto
getto‘
Itoldyouso’ momentwi thMazwakhe.He
beggedmet ogoanotherrouteandIsaidIwantto
behere.IsaidIcouldhandletheheat,soi
tshal
lbe.
It
'sQophel
o’stur
ntowashthedishes.Mazwakhe
staysbehi
ndandhelpshim,whi
chr ai
sesmy
eyebrowsbecauseMazwakhedoesn'tevenwipehi
s
ownspoon.Iguesshe'susi
nganyoppor tuni
tyt
o
getcloset
ohisson.
“
Whydon'
tyousl
eepher
e?”MaMbonambiasks,
r
efer
ri
ngt
othebedr
oomsinsi
det
hemainhouse.
“No,I'
mfineMa,”Isay.Ifeelsaf ei
nNgcwethi
's
bedroom andIfeelst
upidlyclosertohi
m whenI’m
ther
e.Andbesides,Idon'twantt obewokenupby
Sango'sl
oudcar t
oonsear l
yint hemorni
ng.Isl
eep
peaceful
lyonmyabsentf i
ancee’sbed.

Isoakmyselfinthebathandthinkabouteverythi
ng
we'vebeenthr
ought oget
her.Thestormsandt he
goodtimes.Ir
emembert heroadconst r
ucti
on,he
tur
nedagainsthi
sf amil
yforme, di
shonoredhis
fat
her'
swishesjusttobewithme.
Thisangerisnotgoodforthebabyandit'
snotgood
forhim.Ij
ustdidn'
texpectthi
ngstobethisway,but
sti
ll
,Ishoul
dopenmyhear tandfr
eehimt odo
whateverhe'
sdoingandsucceed.Wewi llt
alkwhen
hegetshere.Iwil
lbeangryathim al
lIwant.But
ri
ghtnowIneedt olethi
m be.

Iputhi
sT-
shi
rtonandsi
tont
hechai
rwi
tht
he
packetofchi psMndenibr oughtmeear li
er.Hesays
thebabywi l
llookl i
kehim becauseIhat ehim.I'
m
alwaysr eadyt otwisthiswordsandbi tehishead
off.Evenwi ththispacketofchi psthatInever
askedf or,Idril
ledhim wit
hr i
diculousquesti
ons
untilheapol ogized.IhavenoideawhyIdi dthat
becauseI '
m enj oyingthem andhechosemyf l
avor
.

There'
saknockonthedoor
.Ihopeit
'snotSango
becauseI
'
veheardenoughstor
iesf
ortheday.
Lucki
ly,
it'
sMnot
ho.
“Imi
splacedmycharger,
”hesays,
scr
atchi
nghi
s
headandlooki
ngaround.
“Taket
hatonelyi
ngontopoft heshelve.Idon'
t
knowifi
t'
sworking,
you'
llhavetotestit
,”Isay.
Hetakesitandpl
ugsit
.Thel
ightf
lashes,
he
connect
shisphoneandwait
s.
“
Yeah,
it'
swor
king,
”hesays.
Wehaven'
ttal
kedthatmuchl
atel
y.I
t'
smor
eli
ke
he'
sbeenavoi
dingme.
“
Howar
eyou?
”Iask.
“
Justhangi
ngi
nther
e.Andyou?
”
“
Ithi
nkI
'
mfi
ne,
”Isay.
Henar
rowshi
seye.
“I
'm beinghonest,IknewwhoNgcwet hiwas,Iwas
j
ustf reakedoutbythedisappear
ances.ButIthi
nk
I'
mf inenow, he'
l
lcomebackwhenhe' scompl et
ed
histask,”Isay.
“Ihopei
t'
ssoon,
hey.I
t'
sbor
ingwi
thouthi
m,”he
says.
“Youjustdon'
thaveagir
lfr
iendMnothoand
ever
yonedoesandt hey'
recrazyi
nlove,
”Isay.
Hechuckl
esandsi
tsopposi
teme.
“
Ithi
nkI
'
mreadyt
omoveon.
”
Hemust
n'tj
okel
iket
hat
,I'
m pr
egnantandf
ragi
le.
“
Don'
tpl
aywi
thme,
”Isayi
ndi
sbel
ief
.
“I
'
m not.It
hinkseeingheragai
nandgoingt
hrough
whatIwentthroughgavemet hecl
osur
eIneeded,
”
hesays.
Ihavemor ethingstosmi l
eabouttoni
ght.Peopl
e
arefi
ndinglove;BusikhayaandMazwakhe.Nowt he
youngbr ot
herisreadytopi ckuphisl
if
e.Thegood
canoutweighthebad, Ijustneedtochannelmy
emotionstothehappypl aces.
“
Whatareyoulooki
ngf
ori
nawoman? ”Iask,
just
l
iket
hosepeopl
eonDateMyFami
ly.
“Anopen-mindedperson,someonewhol oves
chal
lenges.Shemustbeeducat edandknowher
sel
f-
wor t
hy.Iloveaconfi
dentwoman, shemust
knowwhatshewant sinlifeandfi
ghtstogetit
.”
“Doyouthinkyou'
l
lfi
ndher?”Iask,hi
sexpectat
ions
aretoomuch.Who'snotscaredofchall
enges?We
allwantt
oliveast
ress-
fr
eelife.
“
I'
m noti
nar
ush,
Iwi
llf
indher
,”hesays.
“Whydon'tyousi
gnupi
nthosedat
ingsi
tesand
expl
ore?
”
Heburstsi
ntol
aught
er.I'
m deadseri
ous,Vuyi
swa
onceshowedmeweddi ngpict
uresofpeopl
ethat
metonsomedatingwebsite.
“NowaysZano!Ever
yonei
ssi
ngl
eont
hei
nter
net
,
evenyou,
”hesays.
I'
m singl
e?Where?Henarr
owshi
seyeatmeandI
burstint
olaught
erasIr
emembermylastFacebook
post.
“
Iwasj
oki
ng,
”Isay.
“
Doesmybrot
herknowthatyou'
reTr
evorNoah
t
her
eonFacebookstr
eet
s?”
Irol
lmyeyes.Doesheneedtoknowever
ythi
ng?I
deserveapi
eceofmyli
fetobeaboutme.
Heget
sof
fthechai
randunpl
ugst
hechar
ger
.
“I
fNgcwethiasksabouti
ttel
lhi
m youdi
dn'
tseei
t,
”
hesays.
“You'r
easki
ngmet ol
ie?Whatifhedreamsabout
thi
s?”He’
dbeangryifheheardmesayt his;“Don'
t
mockmyancestorsZanamuhla.”I'
m notall
owedto
j
okeabouthisgi
ftoffor
eseei
ngt hi
ngs.Heget s
angry.

Thedoorbur
stsopen.Webot
htur
ntot
hedoori
n
shock.Whoki
ckst
hedoorl
ikeanApar
thei
dpol
ice
off
icer
?
Ngcwet
hi?
??
Ohmygosh!
“
Babe,
”Iscr
eam i
ndi
sbel
ief
.
Hechargest
owardsMnot
hoandgrabshi
m byt
he
col
lar
.Whatthef
uckiswr
ongwit
hhim?
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nsi
demyr
oom?
”heasks.
Mnot
hoi
sconf
used,
soam I
.
“
Icamet
obor
rowt
hechar
ger
,”hesays.
It
'snottheanswerhewant
ed,hepusheshi
m
againstthewal
landgr
abshisneck.I
'
veneverseen
himt hi
sangry.
“
Mnot
howhatar
eyoudoi
ngnomf
aziwami
?”
“Icametoborrowthecharger,
”hisvoi
cei
sshaki ng
andhe'st
ryi
ngt ofr
eehimselffr
om hisgr
ip.Fearis
writ
tenal
loverhiseyes.
“MnothoI
'm goingt
oaskyouonel
astt
ime.What
areyoudoi
ngi nmyroom,i
nmyabsence?”
“Icamet
oborrowt
hechar
ger….Idi
dn'
tknowthat
youdon'
twantmetocomeifyou'
renother
e.”
Herol
lshi
sfi
st.Iscr
eam i
nfear
.Hestopsand
aggr
essi
vel
ypullshi
sarmtowardst
hedoor.
“Her
eist hechar
gersisi
,
”Mnot hothrowsthe
char
gerbackt ome.Hisphonedr opsandcrackson
thefl
oor.Whatishappening?Whatdi dMnothodo?
DidImisssomet hi
ng?Maybei t
'sworkrel
atedor
oneofthoseannoyingsibli
ng-
fight
s.
Helookedscar
ed.Ishoul
dgotoBusikhaya'
sroom
andaler
thi
m befor
eNgcwethihur
tshim.

I
'
m notknocki
ng,
butbangi
nghi
sdoorwi
thmyf
ist
s.
“
Whoi
sit
?”heasks.
“
Zanamuhl
a,pl
easecomeandf
indNgcwet
hiand
Mnot
ho.
”
Thedooropens.Hest
epsouthal
fnaked.
“
Whati
shappeni
ng?
”heasks.
Thi
siswhyI
'
m waki
nghi
m up,
Iwantt
oknow
what
'shappeni
ngt
oo.
“
Idon'
tknow,
hej
ustgr
abbedhi
m out
.”
“
Okay,
got
obed,
Iwi
llf
indt
hem.
"
Howam Isupposedtosleep?Ideservean
expl
anat
ionofal
lthi
s.Thispersonhasbeengone
fort
hewholeweekandthef i
rstthi
nghedoeswhen
hecomesbackisatt
ackhi sl
itt
lebrot
her?

Herushest
owardsMnot
ho’
srondavel
.Ifol
low
behi
ndhim andst
andaf
ewfeetawayfrom the
door
.
Someoneisbl
eedi
ng,Busi
khayai
sscr
eami
ngand
demandi
nganswers.
“
Ngcwet
hi?
”-Busi
khaya.
“
Hewasi
nmyr
oom wi
thZanamuhl
a.”
Okaythi
swei
rdandf
orsomer
easonsmybl
oodi
s
boi
li
ng.
“
And?
”-Busi
khaya.
Si
lence.
“Ngcwethiwhyareyouhit
ti
ngMnotho?Whatdi
dhe
do?”Hisvoicei
sfir
mer.Deput
ypar
enti
ngmustbe
exhaust
ing.
Ther
e'snoanswer
.
“
Mnot
hogot
omyr
oom,
”Busi
khayasays.
Thedoorswingsopen.Mnothowalksoutwi t
hhis
handcover
inghisnose.Myheartsinks.Iwantto
fol
lowhi
m andaski fhe'
sokay.ButIdon'twantt
o
worsenwhateversi
tuati
oni
tis.
“
Baf
owhat
'swr
ong?
”Busi
khayaasks,
abi
tcal
m.
“
Hist
orywi
llr
epeati
tsel
f,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
“Whathi
stor
y?”Busi
khayaaskswhatI
'
m al
so
cur
ioust
oknow.
“Thetr
iangl
ethathappenedbetweenyouand
Mazwakhe.MazwakheandMndeni .Ndabaand
Bab'Bonga.Mnothowilldothesamethingt
o….”
He’si
nterr
uptedbyBusikhaya'
ssuddenquesti
on.
“
Whathappenedbet
weenNdabaandBab’
Bonga?
”
“Mnot
hoandZanamuhl
aaregoingtobet
rayme.I
don'
thowmanyti
meshe'sbeenwit
hherwhil
eI
wasn'
tthereandIdon'
tknow….
”Whatt
hef
ucki
s
t
his?I
st hi
sajoke?
Thedooralmostsl
amsBusi khayaasIf
orcef
ull
y
pushesit
.Idon'
tcar
ethatIwaseavesdroppi
ng,
howdarehespeaksli
kethisofmeandhi sown
brot
her!
“
Repeatwhatyouj
ustsai
d,”Isay,
glar
ingathi
m.
“Zanamuhla,howl onghaveyoubeenst andi
ng
here?”Busi
khayaasks.Hi sbrot
herisstandi
ng
againstt
hewal ll
ikear ai
nedchi
cken.It
'stooearl
y
forhimtobel i
kethis,hewasBatist
ajustami nut
e
ago.
“
Longenought
ohearwhathewassayi
ngabout
me,
”Isay.
Hel
ooksatNgcwet
hiandexhal
esdeepl
y.
“ThesamemanI 'm carr
yingachil
dfor .Theone
whodi sappearswit
houtletti
ngmeknowf orweeks.
TheoneIhugmysel ftosleepinhisT-shir
t sever
y
nightandlight
shisstupidcandleseveryaf ter
noon.
He'sstandingheretodayandaccusingmeof
seducinghisli
ttl
ebrother.
”
Hestepstowardsme,shaki
nghisheadin
di
sagreement.Yey,
hemustn'tt
hinkaboutt
ouchi
ng
mebecauseyey!
“That
'snotwhatImeant.Thedream fr
eakedmeout
andIfoundMnot hother
e.”Hebrusheshi
sface,
somehowhopi ngthatwhathe'
ssayingwil
lmake
sense.I
tdoesn't
,he'
scrazy.
“Idon'tcareaboutyounott
rusti
ngme,butyour
ownbr otherNgcwethi?Howcanyouthi
nkofsuch?
Aftereverythi
nghe'sbeent
hrough,
you'
redoingthi
s
tohim? ”Iask.
“Zano….
.”Il
if
tmyeyebrowandwai t
.Hedoesn'
t
knowwhattosay.Hejuststandsi
nfrontofmeand
begsformercywi
thhiseyes.
“YouthinkI'
m sl
eepi
ngwi t
hMnot ho?”Tearsescape
andflowdownmyf ace.I
sthi
showhet hi
nksofme
whenhe' saway?Whyi shest
illwit
hmei fhe
doesn'ttr
ustmearoundhisbrothers?
“
Itwasjustadream andIact
edst
upi
d.”I
tsounds
morel
ikehe'sconvi
ncinghi
msel
f.
Inodmyheadandt
urnbackt
othedoor
.
“Whathappenedbet
weenNdabaandBab’Bonga?
”
Busi
khayaasksasIgothr
oughthedoor
.Hegets
noresponse.

Heavyfootstepsaret
huddingbehindme.Iwalkas
fastasmyf eetcancarr
yme.Igr abanyt
hingthat
belongst
omeandt hrowitinsi
dethesui
tcase.
“ZanamuhlaIcanexpl
aint
his,”hesaysoutof
breat
handblocksmyhandf rom zi
ppingupthe
suit
case.
“
Iwantt
oleave,
”Isay.
“
Wher
ewi
llyougo?
”heasks.
“Home, ”Isayandtearsimmedi atel
yfl
owout
heavily.Whoam Ikidding?Whi chhome?Idon'
t
haveahomeanymor e.Itcollapsedthedaywe
foundoutMazwakhe’ sr ealidenti
ty.He'
sinhi
s
rondavelsleepi
ngpeacef ul
ly.He'shome, t
heyal
l
are,exceptme.Ihavenowher etogo,Mamkhulu
woul dhostabraaiifIgobackhome.
“
Ital
wayshappensZanamuhl
a.I
t'
snott
hatIdon'
t
tr
ustyou,
I'
mjustscar
ed.Idon'twanttoloseyout
o
someoneIshar
ethebloodwith,”hesays.
Icli
mbonbeddefeat
ed.Hedoesn'tknowwhento
stopwit
hhiscr
azyaccusat
ions.Can'
theseet
hat
he'sbr
eaki
ngme?
“Youhadacrushonhi
m?”Idon'
tknowi
fit
'sa
quest
ionorr
evel
ati
on.
“Sowhat ?
”Myvoiceisfai
nt,Icanhardlyheari
t
mysel f
.IfIhadamot hert
hiswoul dbethemoment
Ipickupt hephoneandcrytoher .ButIonl
yhavea
brother,he'
soneofthem andhet oldmesomany
ti
mesnott obehere.
“Iknowyoudon' tunderstandmeandIdon' tblame
you.Butpl
easeknowt hatIl oveyou.I
fthe
ancest
orscan'tpreventthist hi
ngfrom comingto
meandMnot ho,thenI'
dr atherlosemyl i
fethanto
watchmybr othersnackingonmywi f
e.”
“Ar
eyoubeingseri
ousrightnow?”Iwantt
oscream
soloud.He'
sapol
ogizi
ngandi nsi
sti
ngonthesame
bul
lshi
tundert
hatsamebr eat
h.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”hesays.
“
Pleasegobacktowher
eyou'
recomi
ngf
rom.I
wanttosl
eep,
”Isay.
“
Zano…”
“
Ngcwet
hi!
”
Het
akesadeepbr
eat
handt
urnst
othedoor
.
Hest
opsandl
ooksbackatme.
“
IloveyouZol
wandl
e.”
Ipullt
heduvetovermyheadandcl
osemyt
ear
y
eyes.Wow!
.
.
Ngcwet
hi

Hedi dn'tsleepawink.Itwasn' tj
ustZanamuhl a’s
angerthatkepthi mt ur
ningandt ossingonbed, but
thepictur eofhi
sli
ttlebrother
'sfri
ghtenedf aceas
well.I
thaunt edhimt hewhol enight.Heknows
Mnot ho, he'
shisbrotherandt hey'
velivedtogether
sincehewasbor n,lastnighthewasr eal
lyscared.
Heshoul
dn'
thaveact
edt
hatway.Thatwas
i
mmatureofhi
m.
Andt histhi
ngofNdabaandBab’ Bonga,Busi
khaya
won'tletgountilheexpl
ainswhathereal
lymeant.
Buthecan' tt
ellthem,i
t'
snothi
splace.
Hedidn'tdr
eam aboutt
hatone,hesawitwitht
he
nakedeye.Hisuncl
epumpingonhi smotheron
Ndaba’
sbed.Hewas17andasaboy, hi
sloyal
ti
es
i
mmedi atel
yli
edwithhi
sfather
.Hewasgoi ngto
tel
lhi
m everyt
hing.
Hisfat
herwaswor ki
nghar
deveryday,t
ravel
li
ng
aroundthecountryandmakingenemiesalongthe
way.Hediditforthem,sothatt
heycouldhavethe
bestofever
ything.
Hewasangr yathisuncl
emorethanhewasangr y
athismot her
,becausehowdoyoubet r
ayyourown
brother?Yourownblood?Di
dn'thelear
nfr
om thei
r
fathers?Heshould'
veknownbetter
.

HewasatthedoorofNdaba’
soff
icewit
hhishand
cl
utchedont
hehandle.Hewasgoingt
otel
lhim
ri
ghtaway.Buthewasn' talone….hehadacompany
oftwonakedwomen.Onehadhi spr ivatepar t
i
nsidehermout h, hisfingerswerei nser t
edunder
thesecondwoman' sG-stri
ng.Itwast r aumat i
zingto
seeandr i
ghtthere, heknewi twasaf uckedup
sit
uation,from bothsi des.Whatcomf ortedhim was
thefactthattheywer ebot hhappywhent heywer e
together.Theygr ewupi nawar m home, apartfrom
whatheknew;t hei rdarksecrets,theywer elove-
bir
dsandt heyraisedt hem wi t
hlove.Her eal
lydidn'
t
havet obuttinthei rsexualaffai
rs.
Busikhayaisthelastper
sonwhoshouldfi
ndout
aboutthis.He'
llf
ightandthatmayaf
fectt
hei
r
mother'shealt
h.

Mazwakhewalksin.HeseesNgcwet
hiwr
appedon
thecouchandfr
owns.Hedidn’
tknowhewasback
andwhydidhesleephere?
“
Areyougood?
”heasks.
“Yeah,
”Ngcwet
hisays.Hecan'
ttellMazwakhe
abouthispr
obl
ems,other
wisehe'l
lhavetodeal
wi
thbot
hthebr
otherandsi
ster
.
Aft
eramomentMaMbonambiwal ksoutofher
bedroom wear
inghergownandthedoekwr apped
onherhead.Shegreet
sMazwakheanddi sappear
s
i
nt heki
tchenwit
houtlooki
ngatNgcwet
hi'
s
di
recti
on.
She'snevercaredwhatt hef
ight
sareaboutorwho
start
edfir
st,i
fheryoungestsonisi
nvolvedshe
takeshissidewit
hnoquest i
onsasked.Nobody
touchesherMnot ho.EvenMadodawasnotal l
owed
totouchhim.
“
IsMnothost
il
lasl
eep?
”Ngcwet
hiasks,
test
ingt
he
wat
erbehi
ndthecount
er.
“
Whydoyouask?Youwantt
ofi
nishhi
m of
f?”Her
r
esponsesi
lenceshi
m.
“Iexpect
edyoutoprot
ecthim.He'syourbaby
brother
,butno,
you'
returni
nghimintoyour
punchingbag.Whydon'tyouf
ightyourpeer
s?”
Heexhal
esdeepl
y.
“
Ihadadr
eam MaMbonambi
.”
Sheput
sherhandup,
she’
snoti
nter
est
ed.
“You'r
escar edofyourwifebutwithmysonyou're
JohnCena. ”Sheslamst hefri
dgeandgoestothe
boil
ingkettl
e.She'stemptedtobreakt
hecupofhi s
head.Hepi ssesheroff,
butwi t
hNgcwethiyou
thr
eadcar eful
ly.Shehasn'tt
ouchedhi
mi nyears,
thelastt
imewasbad.
Ngcwet hiwhisper
shisapologyandr eturnst
othe
l
ivingroom.Hi seyesareonthedoor, he'
shoping
thatZanamuhl awouldwalkinandgivehi ma
chancet ospeak.Butshe'
snotcomi ng, t
hetabl
eis
l
aidforbr eakf
astandeveryonej
oins,exceptforher
.
“
Wher
e'sZol
wandl
e?”Mndeniasks.
“Askthatwrest
ler
-husbandofher
s,”MaMbonambi
says,
pointi
ngatNgcwet hi
.
Mazwakhet
urnst
ohi
m,hi
sfacecol
dasani
ce.
“
Wher
eisHl
ahl
a?”heasks.
Nor
esponse.
Hepushesthechairandleavesthetabl
etosear
ch
f
orhi
ssister
.Hellwil
lbreaklooseifNgcwet
hi
t
ouchedher
.

“Jama,
”Ngcwet hisays,looki
ngatMnothowho
hasn'
tlookedathisdirecti
onsincehej
oinedt
he
tabl
e.
“I
'm sor
ryBaf
o,Ishoul
dn'
thaveact
edt
hatwaywi
th
you,
”hesays.
“Whichway?
”Mndeniasks,
looki
ngatbot
hoft
hem
cur
iousl
y.
Nobodyanswer
shi
m.
Ngcwethist
andsup.Het apsMnotho’
sshoul
der
s
andaskshim asi
de.Theybothdi
sappeart
o
Qophel
o'sroom.
“
Didt
heyf
ight
?”Mndeniasks.
“Sakhumndenieatyourf
ood,
”MaMbonambior
der
s
andeveryonegoessil
ent
.

Ngcwethisi
tsonQophelo'
sbedandrubshi
shands
t
ogether.Mnot
hostandsbythedoorandst
aresat
hi
m.
“YouthinkI'
ddot
hatt
oyouNgcwet
hi?
”He'
sst
il
lin
disbel
ief.
Ngcwet
hibr
eat
hesoutheavi
lyandl
if
tshi
seyest
o
hi
m.
“
Nowi
t'
sjustyouandI
,
”hesays.
Obviousl
y,Mnothoi sl
ost.He'sbeenthi
nkingabout
t
histhewholenightandhef ai
lst
ounderstandwhy
wouldhisownbr otheraccusehim ofwantinghi
s
wif
e.He'sneverlookedatanyoft hei
rgi
rlf
riends
t
hatwayandhe' dneverdosucht hi
ng.
“
Wear
ether
emai
ningt
wo,
”heexpl
ains.
“
Remai
ningf
rom what
?”Mnot
hof
rowns.
Hetakesanotherdeepbreat
h.Theonl
ywayhi s
br
otheri
sgoingt ounder
standandfor
givehi
mi si
f
hetel
lshi
mt hetrut
h.
“
Doyour
ememberGog'
Nomal
anga?
”heasks.
Nobodycanf
orgett
hei
rowngr
andmot
her
.
“
Yes,
”Mnot
hosays.
“
Whowasherhusband?
”
“
Mkhul
u,”hesays.
“I
sthatal
lyour
ememberabouther
?”Ngcwet
hi
asks.
“Ngcwet hiIdon'
tcareaboutthegrandparent
s’
tr
iangles.Mkhul'
omncanewasabackst abber,why
arewet alki
ngaboutthem? ”Mnothosaysand
shrugshi sshoul
ders.He'
snotinterest
edinold
stori
esandt hey'
renoneofhisbusiness.
“DoyouknowthatMaMbonambiandBab'
Bonga
areseei
ngeachother
?”
What
?No!Ngcwet
hii
smad.
“Busikhayat
ookNombusofr
om Mazwakhe.You
sti
llr
ememberthat
?”hecont
inues.
Everyoneremember s,Qopheloisthereminder.Why
i
shet ryingtochanget hesubj
ect?Mnot hoisonly
i
nterestedinSiyabongaandhi smother.Howcan
thatbepossible?Hisfather
'sbodyhasnoteven
decomposedundert hegroundandhisuncleis
alr
eadywar minghisbed?
“Mndenial
sof
oundhi
swayt
oNandi
,
”Ngcwet
hi
cont
inues.
“
Justgotothepointandexpl
aint
hisBab’Bonga
t
hing?Whatareyoutell
ingmeNgcwethi
?”Mnotho
i
sgetti
ngi
mpat i
ent.
“Thequesti
onmar kr
emainsontwopeopl
e,”
Ngcwethisays,
ignor
inghi
scuri
ousquest
ions.
“
Meandyou?
”Mnot
hoaskswi
thaf
rownonhi
s
f
ace.
“
Yes.
”Henodshi
shead.
“ButI'
l
lneverdot
hattoyou.WhatthefuckBaf
o?I'
d
neverdosuchathing.Idon'
tevenseeZanamuhl
a
thatway.
”
“
Ithasever
ythi
ngt
odowi
tht
hegr
ime,
nott
he
f
eeli
ngs.
”
Heshakeshishead.Gr
imeorwhatever,
he'dnever
dosuchthingt
ohisownbrother
.He'snothi
ng
l
ike….
.no,
he'saMthembu,he'
sli
ketherestofthem.
“Thi
shastobeacur
se.I
tdoesn'
tmakeanysense,
”
hesaysi
ndefeat
.
“Wehavetomovepastt
her
e,j
ustl
ikeever
yone,
”
Ngcwethisays.
Mnot
hof
rowns.He'
sget
ti
ngmor
econf
used.
“
Meani
ng?
”heasks.
“
Wehavet
ofi
ndsomeone.
”
“
What
???
”
“Youcan'
thaveZanamuhl
a.I
thast
obesomeone
else.
”
JesusChr
ist!Isthi
swhatt
hishasboi
leddownt
o?
Thisi
sri
diculous.
“I
sitcompulsory?WhataboutZanamuhl
a?Di
dyou
consi
derherfeeli
ngs?
”Mnothoasks.
No,hedidn't
.Heonl yconsi
deredhi
sfeel
ings.The
onlythi
nghecan' tal
lowtohappenist
ohavehi s
ownbr ot
hersleepingwit
hhiswoman.Hishear t
can'tt
akethat.Never!
“I
'm older,i
thastobeyouaf t
erme.
”Hisvoice
shatters.Heneverthoughthe'
dbet
rayZanamuhla.
He'sneverl ookedatanywomanafterher
.She'
s
everythingtohim.
“NgcwethiI
'
m notdoi
ngt
his,
”Mnot
hosaysand
shakeshishead.
“YouthinkIwanttodoit
?IloveZanamuhl
a,Ionl
y
craveforherandshesati
sfi
esmei n…”
“Jeez!Okay,spar
emet hedet
ail
s.Wherearewe
goingtofindawoman?Whatar ewegoingtosayto
her;“Heyweneedapu$$yt oshare,
ther
e'sagri
me
curseinourfamil
y,ourdi
€kscal
loneanother
?””
He'spissed.
Ngcwet
hii
gnor
eshi
stant
rum andexhal
esdeepl
y.
“I
thastobesomeonef r
om anotherpr
ovi
nce.If
Zanamuhlaeverfi
ndsoutshe'
l
lleaveme.Ican'
t
havethat
,”hesays.
“Ihaveabusinesst
ri
ptoJohannesbur g.You'
ll
comealong,Iwanttodot hi
sandgetoverwi t
hit.
Thinkaboutwhatyou'
regoingtotel
lZanamuhl aat
themoment ,
youhaven'tbeenhomet hewhole
weekandMondayyouhavet oleaveagain,
”Mnot ho
saysandwalksout.
Ngcwet
hibur
ieshi
sheadinhishandsandexhal
es.
She'
spr
egnantwit
hthei
rfi
rstchi
ld,
shedoesn'
t
deser
vethis.Buthedoesn'
thaveachoice,
thi
s
thi
ngistoostrong,
ther
e'snowayhim andMnotho
aregoi
ngtobespeci al
anddodgeit
.
Heshut
shiseyesashetri
est
oimagineherface
whenhetel
lshert
hathe'
sgoi
ngtoJohannesburg
onMonday.
[
11/
19,
09:
58] :Chapt
erFor
ty-
Four
Zanamuhl
a

“
Hlahl
a,”heyel
lssomewher
eint
hel
ivi
ngr
oom.
Iputmygownonandheadstothedi
rect
ionofhis
voi
ce.Heneverent
ersher
eunl
essi
fit
'si
mportant.
“Ar
eyouokay?
”heasksassoonashi
seyesl
and
onme.
Ibr
ushmyf ace,hopingt
herei
snotraceofl
ast
ni
ght'
sheavytears,andnodmyhead.
Mynodi
sn'
tenought
oconvi
ncehi
m ofmywor
ds.
“Whydidn'tyoucomet
othebr
eakfastt
abl
e?”he
asks,
sti
llscanni
ngmewithhi
seyes.
“
I'
m nothungr
y,”Isay.
Henar
rowshi
seyes.
Deepbr
eat
hZanamuhl
a!Br
avef
aceon!
“
I'
m nothungr
y,I
'
lleatl
ater
,”Isay.
“
You'
vebeencr
ying?
”heasks.
Ibi
temyl
ipandshakemyhead.Thelastthi
ngI
wantt
odoisbr
eakingdowni
nfrontofhim.
“
Comeher
e,”hesaysandopenshi
sar
m.
Iburymyheadonhi
schest,
hecover
smewithhi
s
armsandasksmetotal
ktohim.Wor
dsf
ailt
ocome
outandIj
ustbr
eakdownandcry.
“
Didhehi
tyou?
”heasks.
Ishakemyhead.
Hereleasesasi
ghofr
eli
efandkeepsmei
nhi
s
embrace.
“Iknowit'
snoteasy,you'
repr
egnantandal
one.But
you'r
estrongHlahl
aandnowyouhavet obeeven
mor est
rongforthebaby,
”hesays.
IneverthoughtI
'
dhearthesewordsf
rom hi
m.I
expectedhimtoshoutl
ikeheal
waysdoes.
“
Thankyou,
”Isayandwi
pemyf
ace.
“Qophel
owil
lbri
ngyourbreakf
asther
e,youhavet
o
eatfort
hebaby,
”hesays.
“
Youcar
e?”Iask.
“You'
remyannoyi
ngsist
er,
ofcour
seIcar
e,and
Sgubhuisumshana,
”hesays.
Urgh!Ihatethisname,itmakesmefeell
ikeI'
m
carr
yinganugl ybaby.Sgubhu?No,mybabywi l
l
haveaf ancyname.I'mt hi
nki
ngofanEngli
shone
sothatIcanl ookmodestwhenIrepri
mandhim or
herinthemal l.

Qophelobri
ngsmyf oodandIf eelabitbet
teraf
ter
eati
ng.Ichangei
ntomyskirtandT- shir
tandpack
theclot
hesbacktothewardrobe.
Ifeelhi
m st
andi
ngbythedoor,
butIdon'
ttur
nmy
head.Ikeepmyatt
ent
iononthepi
leofcl
othesi
n
fr
ontofme.
“
Howwasyourni
ght
?”heasks.
No,I
'
m notgoi
ngtobedr
amat
ict
oday,
I'
llsur
pri
se
hi
m wit
hcalmness.
“
Good,
andyour
s?”Iask.
“
Notgood,
”hesaysandwal
ksi
n.
Hestandsheavil
ybehi
ndmeandst ayssi
lentf
ora
fewminutes.Thenhecl
earshi
sthr
oatandsneaks
hisar
msar oundmywaist.
“
Pleasel
ookatme,
”hesaysi
nal
owwhi
sper
.
Deepbreat
h!Il
etgooft
hedr
essIwashol
dingand
t
urnaroundtof
acehim.
“Fi
rst,
Iwouldliketoapologi
zeaboutlastnight.
Thingsshouldn'thavehappenedthatway,
sometimesIbel i
evetoomuchi nthedreamsand
all
owt hem t
ofreakmeout .Iknowyou'llneverdo
somethingli
ket hat,
Iwaswr ongonsomanyl evel
s
andI'm sor
ry,
”hesays.
Hisapol
ogyisheart
fel
tbutit
'stooearl
yformeto
l
etthi
ngsgo.Itwi
llt
aketi
me, I'
m scar
edtoevengo
outandfaceMnotho.Hereal
lyembarrassedme.
“Iknowt hatI
'm nother
easmuchasIshoul dbe
andI '
m notsupporti
ngyouenoughbecauseofmy
duties.Iapol
ogizefort
hataswell
,youdon'
t
deser vei
t,
”hesays.
Iopenmymout ht
ospeakbutheshushesmeand
shakeshi
shead.He'
snotdonet
alki
ng.
“I'
m sorr
yIhavet hi
sgif
tandyouhavet ocompete
withit
.I'
m sorryIwasbornthiscomplicatedandI
fel
linlovewithyouandtrappedyoui nthi
s
compl i
catedli
fe.
”Hepull
smet ohischestand
wrapshi sarmsaroundme.He' shurt
ing,Icanfeeli
t.
“
Iwasscar
ed,
”hesaysbehi
ndmyneck.
Ipushhi
sshoul
der
sandcuphi
sfacei
nmyhands.
“NgcwethiIloveyou.Nomat t
erhowl ongyou'
re
gone,Iwil
lwai tf
oryou.I'
l
lneverseekcomfortel
se
where,l
etalonefrom yourbr
other,
”Isay.
“Iknowst
handwasami
andI'
m wi
ll
ingtodo
anythi
ngt
oshowyouhowsorr
yIam,”hesays.
“
Anyt
hing?
”Hebet
tert
hinkt
hist
hrough.
“
Anyt
hing,
”her
epeat
s.
Ohboy,
you'
regoi
ngt
oregr
ett
his.
“
Iwi
llt
ellyoul
ater
,don'
tgobackonyourwor
d.”
Hesmi
lesandpecksmyl
ips.
“
Ipr
omi
se…Ihavemi
ssedyoubaby,
”hesays.
“
Real
ly?
”Iask.
Hebit
eshi
sli
pandl
ooksatmyl
ipswi
thanaught
y
gr
in.
“
Let
'sl
ockt
hedoor
s,”hesays.
Icl
imbonbedandwai tashegoesouttolockthe
fr
ontdoor.They'
llthi
nkwe’resti
llt
ryi
ngt
osor tout
ouri
ssues.IjusthopeSangelihl
edoesn'
tcomeand
demandtobel etin.

“Iwassocol dwithoutyou,
”hesaysandcl i
mbson
bed.I'
mj ustl
yingonbedl i
keaslaughter
edchicken.
Hetakeshi sclot
hesoffandundressesme.I
haven’
tseenanakedmani nalongti
me, Ir
unmy
handsoverhi schestandfeelt
housandbutter
fl
ies
i
nmyt ummy.
“
Mychi
ldi
sgrowing.
”Hebrushesmyt
ummy.
“
How'
sshetr
eati
ngyou?”heasks.
“
Bad,
”Isay.
Heki
ssesmyli
psandgoesdownt
omynaveland
pl
ant
sasoftki
ss.
“Il
ovethetwoofyoumoret
hanIlovemysel
f,
”he
saysandlooksuptoseemyreact
ion.
“IknowNgcwet
hi,
I'
veneverdoubt
edyourl
ove,
”I
say.
“Thankyou…howdidthisonet reatyou?Ihopeshe
didn'tmi
ssmet oomuch.”Hishandi srubbingmy
mound.Iwast ooangrytothinkaboutsex,butnow
thatIseeJamaherelookinglikeanangrymonster,
I
thinkImissedhi
m andIcan'twai tf
orhimtobe
i
nsi deme.
“
Imi
ssedyou,
”Isay.
Hekissesmedeepl
yandrubsmycl
itwi
thmore
pr
essure.Mybodyi
sheat
ingup,
Iwanthi
m andI
wanthim now.
“
Ngcwet
hipl
easef
uckme,
”I'
m beggi
ng.
Hebreakst
heki
ssandsl
idesdowntothefloor.
Whatnow?Wearewaypastthecondom phase.
Hepullsmylegsandl i
ft
sthem overhi
sshoulder
s.
Hisheadisbetweenmyt highs,
I'
m al
readypanti
ng
l
ikeI'
vejustr
anal ongmarathon.Hespreadsmy
f
oldsandsweepshi stongueacrossmywetf l
esh.
Hisnameescapesmyl i
ps.Histongueisuntyi
ng
everyknot
sinmybody,I'
mr idi
ngthroughthe
wavesofpleasur
e.Hepressesmycl i
twithhis
tongueanddigsmyinsi
defleshwithhisfi
ngers.
Thewavebr
eaksf
rom myspi
nalcor
dandri
des
thr
oughmyvei
ns,
allt
hewaytomytoes.
I
'm snappedoutofthecl
oudbyhi shardthrust
s.
He'
sst ar
ingatmewi t
hastil
lface,l
ikehe'
s
r
ecordingeverycr
azyfaci
alexpressiont
hatImake.
“
Iloveyou,
”Iwhi
sper
.
Hesmi
lesandpul
lsout
.
“
Ngcwet
hi?
”Hemust
n'tdar
e,t
hisi
smydi
€k!
“
Getdownandhol
dont
othebed,
”hesays.
“
Huh?
”I'
mlost
.
Hepul
lsmeoffbedandt
urnsmedownonmy
st
omachagai
nstit
.
Hepull
smyl
egsapar
tandi
nser
tshi
msel
ffr
om
behi
nd.
I'
mt heonemoani
ngdeeplyli
keamanandhe'
s
screamingl
ikeal
ady.Changeofr
oles!
Hepoundshar
derandcr
iesl
ouder
.
“
Zanopl
easedon'
tdot
hist
ome.
”
I'
m notreal
lydoinganyt
hingtohi
m,I'
mjustl
yingon
myst omachandgi vi
nghim mybehi
nd.He'
sthe
onedoingthingstohimself
.
“Pl
easebaby!”Heslamsonmehar der.Il
osemy
gri
pandli
eflatl
yont hebed.Hef
reezesonmyback
andlet
soutagr oan.
Il
ethi
m spreadi
tal
linsi
deandthenr
emovemysel
f
bef
oreIt
hrowupeverythi
ngIat
eearl
ier
.
Hegetsonbedandburi
eshi
sfaceonmyar
m,
col
lect
inghi
sbr
eath.
“
Whatdidyoudot
ome?
”hemur
mur
swi
thhi
sface
t
urneddown.
“
Youdi
dever
ythi
ngt
oyour
sel
f,
”Isay.
Hechuckl
esandlooksup.Hel ooksl
ikeasexy
mess.He'
soff
ici
all
youtofthegame.Ri ghtnowI
'
d
sayj
umpandhe'dask-howhi ghbosslady.
“
You'
l
lki
llyourownhusbandoneday,
”hesays.
“
Husband?
”Il
if
tmyeyebr
ow.
“
Yes,
wif
ey.
”
Ir
ollmyeyesandl
augh.
“
Sthandwasami
,
”hesaysi
nadi
ff
erentt
one.
Ij
ustst
areathi
m andwai
tforwhat
'scomi
ng.
“Mnothoi
smeetingupwithsomefar
mersi
n
Calt
ornCent
re.
”Helinkshi
shandonmineand
cast
shiseyesdownt omychest
.
“He'
sl eavi
ngMondayandcomi ngbackon
Wednesday.Iwoul dliketogowi thhim andsupport
him.Onl yi
fit
'sokaywi t
hyou, IknowthatIhaven't
beenar oundin….”Ismileandlif
thischinup.Iwant
him andMnot hotowor kthingsoutandIknow
somet imetogetherwoul dbeaper f
ectchancefor
them toreconnect.
“
Youcango,
”Isay.
Hef
rowns.
“
Youwon'
tbeangr
y?”
“
Yes,
”Isay.
“
Whyt hi
sgoodmood?
”Hesmi
rksandbr
ushesmy
t
high.
“
Wel
lfedchi
ldr
enar
ethehappi
est
,”Isay.
Hebur
stsi
ntol
aught
er.
.
.
*
**Sunnysi
dePar
kHot
el*
**

Mnot
ho

Heunderst
andshisbrother'
sfear,
Zanamuhl a
meanseverythi
ngtohim andifdoingthisi
sgoing
toputhi
m atease,t
henhe'llgl
adl
ydoi t.Buti
t'
snot
hisr
esponsibi
li
tyt
omakesur et
hattheirpl
an
comest
oget
her
.
Heleaveshi sbagont hefloorofhishotelroom and
goest othebalconytofindNgcwet hi
.Hesai d
someonewhoknowssomeonehadpr omi sedto
fi
ndt hegir
l.It
’l
lbeeasy,they'r
emi l
esawayf rom
home, thei
rpathswillnevercrosswiththisgir
l,
she'
llnameherpr iceandt hey'
llal
lgotheirseparat
e
ways.
“She'
sonherway,
”Ngcwet
hisaysandsi
ghs
heavi
ly.
ForamomentMnot howorri
es.Ngcwet hihas
alwaysmadeitclearwhatsexmeanst ohim.It'
s
morethanjustaphysicali
nteract
ion,f
rom the
youngage,befor
eheevendi scoveredhisgift
,he
neverfool
edaroundwi t
hgirl
s.
“
Doyout
hinkyoucandoi
t?”Mnot
hoasks.
“
Ihavet
odoi
t,
”hesaysandshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
“
Issheclean?”Mnot
hoasks.Theyhavet
ogof l
esh
t
ofleshwitht
hisper
son,
hedoesn'tt
akechances
wit
hhishealt
h.
“Yes,t
heydidal
lthet
ests,
”hesays.Healr
eady
feel
sterr
ibl
eaboutwhatthey'
reaboutt
odotoher
andhowhemi ghtdoit
.
“I
'
m goi ngtograbafewt hings,
I'
llcomebackl at
er.
Tellhertowaitinmyr oom whenyou' r
edone,”
Mnot hosays.Thelastthi
nghewant stowit
nessis
hi
sbr ot
herhavi
ngsexwi ththeprosti
tuteor
what evershe'
slabel
ledas.
.
.
Ngcwet
hi

He'sst
andingnexttothebedwithhishandstucked
i
nsidehispocket
s.Hisstar
eisinti
midati
ngbutshe
goesaheadandst r
ipshercl
othesoff.
“Li
eonbed,”heordersandunbutt
onshisshi
rt
.He
doesn'
twanttodot hi
s.Whydidsheagr
ee?She's
makinghim bet
rayhiswif
e.He'
sangryandforthe
wrongreasonshe'sangr
yather.
Shecl
imbsonbedandl
iesonherback.Hest
ands
wher
ehewasst andi
ngandmassageshi
sshaf
t
wi
thhiseyescl
osed.

Thisisnotwhatsheexpected.Theysaidsome
peopleneededagirlf
orthenight
,twor i
chpeople
whocanmakeherdr eamscomet rue,andshe
thoughtshewascomi ngtosati
sfytheirneeds.But
i
tdoesn'tlookl
iket
hismanher ehasanysor tof
needforherbody.
Hisshaf
tspri
ngsoutandhardens.Heget
sonbed
andkneel
sbetweenherl
egs.Hepourslubeonhi
s
handandrubsonhervul
va.
Heburi
eshi
sheadoverherneckandfi
nger
sher.
Shef
eelst
heheatandbrusheshi
sback.Hefr
eezes
andl
ooksuptoher.
Shestopsimmediat
ely.Nobodyexpl
ainedt
hedo'
s
anddon'stoher
.Shet houghti
twoul
dbenormal
sex,
butit'
snot.

Hei
nser
tshi
msel
fsl
owl
yandl
if
tshi
sbr
owneyest
o
herf
ace.Whenshefli
nches,
hepausesunti
lher
bodyrel
axesagai
n,t
henhepushesinunt
ilhe
complet
elyf
it
sin.
She'
sti
ghtandwar m.Moaningontopofherwas
noti
nhisplansbuthecan'
thelpit
.Thel easthe
coul
ddor i
ghtnowistonotkissher.Thatwouldbe
waytooint
imate.So,
hebit
est hesi
deofherneck
andthr
ustsasfastashecan.
“
Zano….
”Hegr
oansandexpl
odesi
nsi
deher
.
Si
lence.
“
CanIgodrinkwater
?”sheasksaf
teranawkwar
d
momentofsil
ence.
Her
oll
stot
heot
hersi
deandr
eleasesasi
gh.
“
Room 102,
he'
l
lfi
ndyout
her
e,”het
ell
sher
.
Shehesi
tant
lynodsherheadandwal
ksaway.

Aft
eramomentofexerci
singhi
sbreat
hshefi
nal
ly
get
soffbed.Hetakeshi
sphoneanddragshi
msel
f
tot
hebathroom.
I
tri
ngst
hreet
imesbef
oresheanswer
s.
“
Mmmm!
”
“
Areyoueat
ing?
”heasks.
“
Hmmm,
”shesays.
Hesmi lesandst
andinfr
ontoft
hemirr
or.Whenhi
s
eyesmeett her
efl
ect
ionofhi
snakedbodyhi
ssmil
e
disappears.
“I
'
llneverl
oveanyonet
hewayIl
oveyoumyZano,
”
hesays.
Sheswall
owswhatevershehadi
nhermout
hand
asksi
fhe'
sokay.
“
Iwi
llseeyout
omor
row,
”hesays.
“Tomorr
ow?”Sheexpect
edhi
m homeonThur
sday
orFri
daymorni
ng.
“
Yes,
I'
m comi
ngbackt
oyou.
”
.
.
Mnot
ho
HegoestoNgcwet
hi'
sroom t
ocheckonhi
m and
fi
ndshi
ml yi
ngonhi
sbackandstari
ngupatt
he
cei
li
ng.
“
Didshear
ri
ve?
”heasks.
“
She'
swai
ti
ngf
oryou.
”
Hewant
st oaskhowi
twentbutl
ookingathi
sface
hecant
ellt
hathe'
sdr
owni
nginsorrow.
“Iwi
lll
eavei
nthemor
ning,
”Ngcwet
hisaysbef
ore
hewalksout
.
Hej ustnodshisheadandwalksout.Heexpect
ed
thi
s, Ngcwethiwasn'
tgoingt
ohandlewhathe
proposedandi fheconti
nuesli
ket
hisZanamuhla
willfi
ndout.

Hepushesthedoorofhisr
oom andwal
ksi
nwi
th
hi
sjacketi
nhishands.
Thegi
rli
slyi
ngont
hebedwi
thherf
acedown.
Af
rowngr
owsonhi
sface.Hehasn'
tseenherf
ace
butshe'sdefi
nit
elynotwhathehadinmi nd.He
thoughtofsomeur bansl¥twit
haPeruvianweave,
l
ongnai l
sandt hi
ckmudofmake- uponherf ace.
Someonesl i
m andt al
l.Maybeabi
tli
ghterin
complexion.
Hest
andsbyt
hebedandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“
Hel
lot
her
e,”hesays.
Shewasjustdozi
ngoff,
whenshehearsthe
st
rangevoi
ceshejumpsupandf all
sof
fbed.She
bumpsherhipsagai
nstthef
loorandgr
oansinpai
n.
“
Areyouokay?
”heasksandr
ushest
oher
.
Shedustsher
sel
fupandnodsherheadt
oputhi
m
atease.
“
Areyout
ir
edal
ready?
”heasks,
playf
ull
y.
Shenervouslyli
ftsherbeadyeyestohi
m.Hi
sworl
d
hal
tstoastop.Hebl inksanumerousti
mesand
l
ooksatheragai n.Thiscan'
tbeahumanbei
ng!No
onecanbet hisbeautif
ul.
Hisbr
ainevent
ual
lyunf
reezes,
hissensescr
awl
backi
nanduntiehi
stongue.
“
What
'syourname?
”heasks.
“
Khut
hadzo,
”shesays.
Hef
rowns.Whatki
ndofnamei
sthat
?
“
Khut
hazo?
”hepr
onouncesi
tinhi
sZul
uaccent
.
Shesmi l
es,
reveali
ngasetofwhi t
eteet
hthathave
anarrowgapatt hefront
.Onedimplecr
inkl
eson
hercheeksandsher ubshert
hickli
pstoref
rai
n
fr
om herchil
dishgri
n.
“
JustsayKhut
hi,
”shesays.
Henodshisheadandinhal
esasilentbr
eat
h.He
wantst
otouchherdark-
chocol
ateskint
ofeeli
f
whatheseesi
srealbuthedoesn'
thavetheguts.
Damn,
wher
ear
ehi
smanner
s?
“I
'
m Mnot
hoMt hembu,
”hesaysandpul
lsouthi
s
handf
orahandshake.
Heshouldn'
thave!Shejusttouchedhishandand
he'
snotbreathi
ng.Hersoftskinrubbi
ngagainsthi
s
hassentatrai
lofti
ngl
est hr
oughouthisbody.
“
Khut
hi,
”hernameescapeshi
sli
psandhef
reezes
whenshel
if
tshereyest
ohi
m.
Hecl
ear
shi
sdr
ythr
oat
.
“
Whatdoyouwantust
odo?
”
Herthi
neyebr
owssnaptoget
her
.Whatki
ndofa
questi
oni
sthi
s?Heknowsexact
lywhatt
heyhave
todo.
“
Idon'
twantt
owast
eyourt
ime,
”shesays.
Ohsnap!Whatt
hef
ucki
swr
ongwi
thhi
m?
“
Shoul
dIgetyousomet
hingt
odr
inkf
ir
st?
”heasks.
“
Ifyoudon'
tmi
nd,
”shesays,
abi
tconf
used.

Herushesoutandcomesbackwi
tht
wogl
assesof
wi
ne.
She'smoreconfusedashesit
sonbedwi tht
he
glassinhi
shandandst ar
esatherl
ikeshe'
sa
forei
gncreat
urethatdr
oppedfr
om Mars.
“
Howol
dar
eyou?
”heasks.
Shedi
dn'
texpectt
hisquest
ion.
“
Ummm…21, ”shesaysandlooksathim,wai
ti
ngf
or
t
henextquest
iont
hat'
sri
singfrom hi
sfr
own.
“Soyoung…”hesayst hatandstops.Shealready
knowswhathe' sthinkingandshewi shestoexplai
n
tohimthatshe'snotwhathe' sthinki
ng.Butwhy
doesitmatter?He'sjustastrangerlooki
ngfora
holet
or el
easehi mselfint
oforthenight.He'
llgo
backtohisflashyli
feandf or
getaboutt heVhenda
poorgir
lhef uckedonce.
“
Mybrotheri
sleavi
ngt omorrow.Doyoumind
f
it
ti
ngmei nyourscheduleandaccompanyi
ngme
t
otheeventonWednesdayni ght?
”heasks.
Shechokesonherdr
ink.Di
dhesayevent?Anevent
ofpeopl
eli
kehi
m?That '
snothappeni
ng.
“Khuthazopl
ease,
”hesaysandhi
saccentsends
herintoafi
tofl
aught
er.
“Khut
hi,
pleasest
ickt
othat
,”shesays,
shaki
ngher
head.
“I
'
m ZuluandIdon'thavethegapt
ohel
pme
pronounce-dzo,
”hesays.
“Areyouser
ious?
”Shecover
shermout
hand
giggl
es.
Hewat chesherwi t
hthecornersofhisli
pscur vi
ng
up.Ngcwethimayl eavebuthe'snotgoing
anywhere.NotevenonThur sday.He'l
lstayher e
unti
lhelearnstopronouncehernamepr oper
ly.Of
course,t
hat'
sjusthislameexcuse,whenhel eaves
theplacehisheartwil
lstaybehindandhewant sto
makesur ethati
t'
llbesafewithher.
[
11/
19,
09:
59] :Chapt
erFor
tyFi
ve

Nont
obeko

Ibit
emyf ingerandlookatthetabl
eIjustl
aid.The
napkinsshouldn'
tbefoldedthi
sway.Ialsoneedto
changethejugandwi pethesechair
sonemor e
ti
me.
If
eelhi
m wal ki
ngbehi
ndme.Hest opsaf ewfeet
awayfrom meandIknowthathe'
sl aughi
ng.That'
s
whathe'sbeendoi
ngthewholeevening.Hethinks
t
hatI
'
m cr
azyanddr
amat
ic.
“
They'
rej
ustki
ds,
youknow,
”hesays.
“Mshibeleavemeal one,”Isayandwal kar oundthe
tabl
et ofixthecloth.Theycoul dbehereanymi nute
from now.Fr om whatI '
vehear dthedaughterisvery
demandi ngandsheget severythi
ngthatshewant s.
Andt hesoni sawkwar dlyquietandhe'
slivingwith
thevoidofhi smot her.Idon'twantthem tot hi
nk
thatI
'mt ryi
ngtor eplaceher.Iknowhowki dscan
be.
“
Theywon'
tevennot
icet
hesenewpl
ates,
”hesays.
Hewasn' tt
hisannoyingwhenhewasst il
lli
ving
withme.Itmustbet hoseshot
shekeptdr i
nking
earl
ier
.He'sacti
ngabi tf
unny,l
aughingat
everyt
hingandopenlytalki
ngabouthissi
bli
ngs.
“
Whenar
eyoubr
ingi
ngt
hegi
rl
sover
?”Iask.
“Notanyti
mesoon,Idon'
twantyoutobr
eakyour
backtryi
ngtopl
easethem,”hesays.
Ir
ollmyeyesandcar
ryonwithmyarrangement
s.
He'
sbeenheresi
nceyest
erday,
hesayshegota
dayof f.Idon'tevenknowwher ehewor ksorl
ives,
andIt hinknotknowi ngisgoodformyment al
healt
h.What evershithe'
sinvol
vedinisshadyand
he'stooyoungf ori
t.Busikhayal
aughedwhenI
proposedt hatwet akehimt ouniver
sit
y.

Ther
e'sacarpul
li
ngupoutside.I
tmustbet
hem.
Mshibegr
absthebott
lefr
om thebarf
ri
dgeand
di
sappear
s.Igotothedoorandopen.
He'swalki
ngatthefr
ontwi t
hhisprincesshol
ding
hishand.Theboyisfol
lowingbehindthem,
occupiedbysomethi
ngi nhishand.Istandonthe
samespotwi t
hmyhandont hehandle.Idon'
twant
tobetooforward.
Hesmi
les,
grabsmywai
standpul
lsmei
nsi
de.
“Youlookbeaut
if
ul,
”hecompl
iment
sandkissesthe
sideofmyface.Someonecl
earshi
sthr
oatbehi
nd
us.Hisson.
Heturnshisheadt
ohi
m wi
thawi
degr
inpl
ast
ered
onhisface.
“Whatdi
dItel
lyou?
”heasks.I
'
m socur
ioust
ofi
nd
outwhatt
heytal
kedabout
.
“
Babayouneedt
oactyourage,
”thesonsaysand
l
aughs.
“I'
m act
ingmyage.”Hejoi
nsi
ntothelaughter.I
guessit'
sthefat
her&soni
nsi
dejoke,
what ever
they'
rel
aughingat.
Thegi
rlsi
tsnextt
ohim.Theboysitsonmysi de.
Hepoursaglassofj
uiceandpassesitt
oher.
Shoul
dIpourfort
heboyaswel l
?I'
veneverbeena
par
entinmylif
e.
“Where’
sMshi
be?
”heasks,
scanni
ngt
her
oom wi
th
hiseyes.
“
Somewher
e,dr
inki
ng,
”Isay.
Henodshi sheadandlooksatbot
hhi
schil
dren.
Int
roduct
ionti
me!Isil
entl
ytakei
nadeepbreath
andwaitforhi
mt ospeak.
“Qophel
o…Sangeli
hle…meetNont
obekoMaseko…”
He'snotdonebutthepri
ncessl
if
tshereyest
ome.
“
YaNont
obekoMaseko.
”
Hecl earshi
st hroatandbr ushesherhead.Bathong,
thi
schi ldj
ustbr okethebiggestrul
eofabl ack
societyandhe' sjustbrushingherheadli
kehe
broket hei
ce-cream cone.
“Youwon' tcal
lherbynameSangel i
hle,
butif
someoneasksyouwhoyourmot heris,
you'l
ltel
l
them thatyourmotheri
sNontobekoMasekoand
theotheroneiswiththeangel
s.Butyou'llr
efert
o
herasMa.Under stand?”
Shenodsherheadandr
ephr
aseshergr
eet
ing.
“
Hel
loMama,
”shesays.
Nowt hi
sismygirl
.She'
ssocutebytheway,
my
ovari
esaredanci
ng.I
fIevergetachi
ldmayi
tbea
gi
rl.
Hepeckshercheekandt urnshisatt
enti
onto
Qophel
owho'salreadyhelpinghimsel
fwitht
he
meat.
“
Won'
tyougr
eetJama?
”heasks.
Heswall
owsfastandli
ft
shisheadtome.Ican't
hel
pthesmi
lebreaki
ngfrom myface.Thesel
it
tl
e
humanbeingsarehi
swor l
dandformetoperfect
ly
fi
tint
oitIhavet
oacceptandl
ovethem asi
fthey'
re
myown.
“Hel
loMa,
”hesaysandwi
peshi
smout
hwi
tht
he
backofhi
shand.
“
Uset
henapki
n,Qophel
o!”Isayi
nawe.
Busi
khayashakeshi
sheadandgi
vesmeaf
unny
l
ook.
“
Hel
ovesf
ood.Idon'
tknowwhohet
ookaf
ter
.”
“
It
'swei
rdofyounott
oknow,
”Isay.
“
Meani
ng?
”heaskswi
thasl
ightf
rown.
“
MustIdi
sh?
”
Hiseyesimmediat
elygooverthedi
shesandIknow
thathewant
severydamnt hi
ngthat'
sont hist
able.
I'
m yett
ooff
ici
all
ymeetMazwakhe, butthisshould
answerwhoQophelotookaft
erwithhisbigappetit
e.

If
reakedoutf
ornot
hing.Mshi
bewasr i
ght
,these
ar
ejustki
dsandbythelookoft
hings,
Qophelo
alr
eadyknewaboutmeandaccept edt
hatI'
mi nhi
s
fat
her'
sli
fe.Thepri
ncessisnotbot
her
ed,she'
snow
watchi
ngcartoonsasifshe'
sbeenher
ebefore.
“Idi
dn'tknowthissoftsi
deofyours, ”IsayasIjoi
n
him onthebalcony.Hepuffshiscigar et
tefort
he
l
asttimeandt henthrowstheremai ningpieceon
thefloorandstepsonitwit
hhisfoot .Weal ways
fi
ghtaboutthisbuttodayIleti
tsl
ide.I 'minagood
mood.
“
Sometimestheydri
vemecrazybutever
ymoment
wit
hthem i
sablessi
ng,
”hesays.
“
Babygi
rl
sar
ecut
e,”wor
dsescapemymout
h.
Thenaught
ysmi
leonhi
sface!Hemust
n'tdar
e.
“NotnowBusikhayahawu!I
nfut
ureIwanttohavea
daughterwho'
l
llookl
ikeme,
”Isaybef
oreideas
star
tfi
lli
nghi
shead.
“Ial
waysopenmyeyes,
youknowt
hat
,”hesays
andsmirks.
He'
sreal
lyt
ooyoungt
obel
ievei
nthoset
hings.
“
So,
Ital
kedt
omyel
der
s,”hesaysandst
eal
sa
gl
anceatmyconf
usedf
ace.
“
They'
l
lcomeaf
terNgcwet
hi'
sweddi
ng.
”
What
?!That
'si
nlesst
hanamont
h.
“
SosoonBusi
khaya?
”Iask.
“
IneedyouhomeNt
obe.
”
“
Whataboutmycompany?Myl
if
eis…”Hepull
sme
i
ntohi
sarmsandshut
smeupwithasloppyki
ss.

.
.

Zanamuhl
a

WhenIturntotheothersi
demyf acebumpsona
hardbody.Wit
hmyeyescl osed,
Ilif
tmyhandup
anditt
ouchesahuman.Myeyesopeni mmedi
atel
y,
mynervessettl
ebackintopl
aceswhenImeethis
star
ewidelyf
ixedonme.
“Ngcwethi?
”Ir
ubmyeyesandlookathi
m car
eful
ly.
Ithoughthewasnol
ongercomi
ng.
“
Whendi
dyougethome?
”Iask.
“
Around23h15,
”hesays.
Inodmyheadandkeepmyeyesonhi m.Yes,
Ihear
thathearr
ivedwhenIwasal readyasl
eepandhe
didhimsel
faf avourbynotwakingmeup.Butwhy
i
sheup, withtheli
ghtson,andstar
ingatme?
“
Isever
ythi
ngokay?
”Iask.
“
IloveyouZanamuhl
a.”
That'
snotwhatIaskedbutIsmi l
eandwr apmy
armsaroundhim.He'stense.Ihopenot
hing
happenedbetweenhim andMnot hoi
n
Johannesbur
g.
“
It
's3am now,
”hesays.
“
Real
ly?Ishoul
dgetmor
esl
eep.
”
“
No.Iwantust
ogosomewher
e.”
“Atthist
ime?
”Iaskwithmyeyeswi dened.Hej
ust
saidithi
msel
fthati
t'
ssti
llatni
ght
;3am.
“
Yes,
please,
”hesays.
Ihatehowcr eepyheis.Johannesbur
ghaschanged
him al
ready.Hedidn'
tevenspendt woful
ldays
ther
eandhe' salr
eadydodgy.
“Okayfi
ne,butbeforewego…”Icl i
mbont opofhim
andlieonhischest.Idon'tknowwhenhe'l
lleave
againandforhowl ong,everyminut
ethatwespend
toget
hershouldcount.
“
Zanamuhlawai
t,
”hesaysandt ender
lyput
smeat
t
hesideoft
hebed.I
shereject
ingme?Thewhole
me!
“What
'sgoi
ngon?
”Ican'
tcont
rolhowbr
uisedmy
voi
cesounds.
“
I'
mjustt
ir
edst
handwasami
.”
“
Oh,
okay.
”
Heplaceshishandonmycheek.Iputaf akesmil
e
onandlookintohishaunt
edeyes.Iknowhimlike
thebackofmyhand, somethi
ngisbother
inghim.
Hedoesn'tconfi
deinmethatmuchandI
underst
andbecausehe'swhoheis.Somet hi
ngs
havetostaybet
weenhim andhi
ssoul.Ijusthope
i
t'
snotsomet hi
ngt
hatcanendupspirit
ually
dest
royi
nghim.Ihat
etoseehim sad.
“
IloveyouNgcwet
hi,
”Isay.
Heshut
shiseyesasi
fmywordsbringhimi nt
ense
pai
nanddropshi
sheadonmychest .Iki
ssthetop
ofhi
sheadandwrapmyarmsaroundhi sshoul
ders.
“
I'
m sosor
ry,
”hesays,
hisvoi
ceal
mosti
naudi
ble.
“
Iunder
standbabe.I
t'
sfi
ne.
”
Hel i
ftshi
sheadupslowlyandl ooksatme.His
teet
hhavecapturedhisqui
veringlowerl
ip,but
nothingcancapt
urenorpreventhiseyesfr
om
teari
ng.
“I
'
m sor r
y,”hewhispersbef
orehedropshisheadon
mychestagai n.Thenhischestst
artsbounci
ngand
Ireal
izethatsomethingmore,waytoodeepforme,
i
seatinghi m up.
“Ngcwethiwhat'
sgoi
ngon?”Myownvoiceis
breaki
ng.Befor
eIevenknowhispai
nI'
m abl
eto
shareitwit
hhim.Mynight
iei
ssoakedonmychest
,
nowhe'scryi
ngopenl
y,event
houghhi
sheadi
sst
il
l
pressedagai
nstmychest.

Fort
yminuteslater,hecomesoutoft hebat hroom
andputshisjacketon.Ihaven' tbeent oldwher ewe
aregoi
ngsoear lyinthemor ningorther easonof
hi
searl
ierbreakdown.Al lthatmat t
ersi sthathis
moodhasi mprovedal it
tlebit.He'sablet olookat
meandsmi legenuinely.
“Ar
eyounotgoi
ngtotel
lmewher
ewear
egoi
ng?
”I
askaswejoi
nthehi
ghway.
“
We'
regoi
ngt
oDur
ban,
”hesays.
“Forwhat?
”Myeyeswi den.That'
smil
esaway, and
whywasn' tIt
oldear
li
er?Iwould'
vecarr
iedsome
moneytobuyR7Deni mj eansandR2.50Nike
sneaker
sthere.
“
Forbr
eakf
ast
.”
Getoutofher
e!Wear
etr
avel
li
ngal
lthi
sdi
stancet
o
goandeat?
“
Ngcwet
hiI
'
m ser
ious.Whyar
ewegoi
ngt
oDur
ban
att
hist
ime?
”Iask.
Hegl ancesatmewi t
htheghostofasmi l
eand
focusesont heroadwit
houtanswer
ing.Il
etouta
sighandl eanbackonmyseat.

MaybeIwould'
veenj
oyedthi
stri
pifhegavemet he
morni
nggl
ory.Butri
ghtnowI'
m sal
ty,
anxiousand
f
orsomereasons,st
il
lhor
ny.
“
Whatar
eyoudoing?
”Hi
seyesar
efi
xedont
he
r
oad,
howdidheseeme?
“
Justf
ixi
ngmyski
rt
,”Isay.
“Bysqueezi
ngyourt
highsl
ikethat
?Andyou'
re
doingi
tinfr
ontofmetopunishme.”
“
Yousai
dyouweret i
red,what
'syourpr
obl
em wi
th
mehel
pingmysel
f?”Isnap.
“Ican'
tdoanyt hingtoyou.I'
m undergoi
nga
certai
n…”Ohgosh!If orgethister
msandconditi
ons.
NowIf eelbadf orholdi
ngagr udgeagai
nsthi
sdi€k.
Butheshoul d'
vet ol
dmeear li
er.
“
I'
m sor
ry,
”Imumbl
eundermybr
eat
h.
Hedoesn'tsayanythi
ng.Iletafewmi nutespass
andthendoitagain.Itf
eelsreal
lygood,almostas
goodashim.HoweverIdon' treachthebreaki
ng
poi
nt,hekeepssteali
ngglancesatmeandIhavet o
si
tproper
lywhenhedoes.

Whyar ewepar kedhere,bythesea?Ihopehedi dn'

t
bri
ngmeher etodrownme.I t'
ssoearl
yand
fr
eezingcold.Onlywhitepeopleenj
oythesetypeof
condi
t i
ons.They'
realr
eadyupanddowni ntheir
short
sandvest s.
“
Wher
ear
ewe?Andwhatar
ewedoi
ngher
e?”Iask.
“
Durbanharbour
,fort
hesunr i
secrui
se.I
t'
sonlyfor
t
hir
tyminut
esthenwe'llheadtoourdest
inat
ion.
”
Bathong!Ithoughtthiswasourdesti
nati
on.Whyis
hespeakinglikewe'reinthi
stoget
her?Ihaveno
fr
eakin’cl
uewhat '
sgoi ngonhere.
“Iwantt
ostayaf ewmi nut
esi
nthewat erbeforet
he
boatsai
lsoff
,”hesaysandstr
ipshist-
shirtoff
.Am
Icrazyf
orfeeli
ngcold?Ormaybemyski nisweak.
Howi si
tpossiblef
orsomeonetothinkabout
swi
mmi
ngi
nthi
scondi
ti
on?
Het akessomethi
ngoutofhistrouserpocketand
rubsitonhispalms.Helooksatme, asift
o
memor i
zemyspot,andt
henr ushestowardsthe
water.Doevenpeopleswim here?Idon'
tthinki
t'
s
all
owed.
Hedi vesintothewat err
ightinfr
ontofmyeyesand
disappearsundert hewaves.I'mtryi
ngnott opanic,
Ngcwet hiisnotachi l
d,heknowshowt oswi m,
ri
ght?Butmi nut
espassandhe' snowher eont he
surface.Peoplewhosawhi m arestar
tingtogather
i
nci rcl
esanddi scussingitunderthei
rbreaths.
Hewoul
dn'tdr
ownandl
eavemeher e!Ist
artpaci
ng
ar
oundandreci
ti
ngasi
lentpr
ayer
.
Ihearmurmursandli
ftmyheadup.It
'shi
m wal
king
towardsme,hi
swetfeetsockedupwit
hsandand
hisyummybodydrippi
nginwat er
.
“
Youl
ook….
”Fuckhi
m.Il
ookl
ikewhat
?Hescar
ed
t
hecr
apoutofme!
“
Arewegoi
ngt
otheboatorwhat
?”Isnap.
Insteadofansweri
ngmet heidi
otl
ift
smeupand
spinsmear ound.Icannotkeepupwi t
hhi
smood.
Onemomenthe' sdrowninginsorr
owandnext
,he'
s
overt hemoonli
keDonal d.
“You'l
lseethesunr isi
ngwhi l
eyou'reintheocean.
It'
sthemostbeaut i
fulthingever,Iwantustostand
blablabla…”Idon'tcareaboutt heri
singsunand
oceans.Itdoesn'
tticklemyf ancy,I'
m onl
ydoing
thisbecausehe'salreadybookedi tandhedidn'
t
givememuchofachoi ce.
“
Asl
ongast
her
e'senoughf
ood,
”Isay.
“
Iwoul
dn'
tst
arvemychi
ld,
”hesays.
It
urnandl
ookathi
m wi
thmyeyebr
owsl
if
ted.
“Andyou'
dstar
veme?”Iask.Icannotbel
ievethat
I'
m compet
ingwit
hanunbornchi l
d.I
'
m defini
tel
y
notmatur
edenoughf
ormot herhood.
.
.
Ienjoyedtheboatcr
uiset
hing,
eventhoughi
twasa
bitcoldf
ormeandIkeptthinki
ngabouttheTi
tani
c
saga.TheSouthAfr
icanver
sionone,mebeing
Roseandhim bei
ngJackanddr owni
ngwhi l
etryi
ng
tosaveme.Ohgosh, i
twoul
d'vebeenadisaster.

Nowwe' rei
nacardeal ershi
p;ToyotaDurban.I'
m
tryi
ngnottomaket hi
st r
ipbeaboutmeeat ing
everyt
hingthatmycravingsdroolon,butwow, t
he
thoughtoff
r eshmutt
onpi e.
“Babe,
whydon'tyoudri
vemetoPi
e-Ci
tyandthen
youdoyourt
hingsherewhi
leI
'
m waiti
ngther
e?”I
ask.
“
You'
rehungr
yagai
n?”
Whatdoeshemean‘again’
?Whatis‘
agai
n’doi
ngi
n
hi
ssentence?I
shet
ryingtoinsul
tme?
“
No,youcan'
tZano.Youhaveto….we'l
lgoaft
er
we'
redoneher
e.Isweari
t'
llbefast
,”hesays.
Si
gh!

Awhit
emanwelcomesusfrom t
heent
rance.Byt
he
l
ookofthi
ngshi
m andNgcwet
hiknoweachother
verywell.Ifol
lowbehindthem,mindi
ngmyown
business.Ireall
ydon'tcar
eaboutcar
s,t
hey'r
etoo
expensive,asiftheydri
vethemsel
vesandthey
don'tneedpet r
ol.
“
Babe,
”hecal
lsandt
apsmyshoul
der
.
Yawn!
“
Huh?
”
Hef
rowns.Ihat
ethi
sandheknowsi
t.
“
What
?”Isnapandt
hewhi
temanchuckl
es.
“
Inf
rontofus,
”hesays.
Ifol
lowhi
seyesandseeawhi t
eToyot
aRav4wi t
h
myname, theMndenione,
wri
tt
enonthepl
ate:
Zolwandl
e-ZN
“
Whydoesi
thavemyname?
”Iaskhi
m.
“
Becauseit
'syours,
”hesaysandpopshisj
oint
s
wit
hhisl
iptight
lypr
essedbetweenhi
steet
h.
“I
t'
smine?”Iask.Whyonearthwoul
dIhaveacar?
Don'tt
heyneedlicencei
nSouthAf
ri
canowadays?
I
fIhavemyowncarwho' sgoi
ngtobot
herpeopl
e
f
orl
if
tsandshoutf
orherchangei
nthet
axi
s?
“Iknowt hatnomat eri
alandnoamountofmoney
canmeasur ethelovethatIhaveforyou.Ididn't
buyyout hiscarbecauseIcan, Iboughtitbecause
everyt
hingIdoi sforyou.Iwakeupever ydayand
got owor kforyouandmyf amil
y.You'r
et hereason
whyIwakeupwear ingasmi l
eeveryday,
”hesays.
I'
m notawi t
nessofthatsmil
e.Maybei
t'
san
i
nternalone.Mostoftheti
mesIwakeupnextt
oa
bombwai ti
ngtoexplode.
“
Idon'
tknowhowt
odr
ive,
”Isay.
“That'
snotaproblem.Youcannotdri
vewhi l
eyou'
re
pregnantanyway.You'l
lhaveadri
verandwhen
you'r
ebackt onormalyou'
llgot
othedrivi
ng
school.
”
Oh,
I'
m notnor
malnow?
“
Maybeyouneedt
ostepclosermam,
it'
syourcar
,”
t
hewhi
temanbreaksourstar
e.
Mycar?Oh,
yes.Ineedt
ocheckitout
.Imagi
nenot
bei
ngabl
etorecogni
zeyourowncari
ntheparki
ng
l
ot.
“
Thekeys,
”Ngcwet
hisaysbehi
ndme.
It
urnbackt
othem.Thewhi
temanhandst
hem over
wi
thasmirkonhi
sface.
Ipr
essthebuttonandthere'
sabeepsound.Il
etout
ascream asi
tstar
tstosinkint
hatme,Zanamuhla
Ngwane,ownsawhol edamncar .
Theleatheri
nsidesmell
snewandf r
esh.Ineed
thoseshadytaxisti
cker
s;“ILi
keYourPerm ButNot
OnMyWi ndow.”Passengersareexhaust
ing,
honestl
yIcan'tdealwit
hthem.

Ir
olldownthewi
ndow.He' sst
andingwhereIl
eft
hi
m withhi
shandstuckedinhispocketandahuge
smil
eplast
eri
nghi
sf ace.
“
Doyouwantal
if
t?”Iask.
“
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Real
ly?Heknowst
hatIcan'
tdr
ive.
“
Nowher
e,”Isay.
Hewal kst
owardsthecarandt
urnst
othe
passenger
'sf
rontdoor
.
“
Att
heback,
”Iyel
l.
Heshakeshi
sheadandgoest
othebackandhops
i
nsi
de.
“
Putaseat
bel
ton,
please,
”Isay.
“Lor
d,I'
m goingt
or egrett
his,
”hemumbleswhi
le
fast
eningthebel
t.He'sgoingtogetouti
fhe
disr
espect
smei nmyowncar .
“Okay,we'
rel
eavi
ng,”Isayandt ur
nthekey.The
enginecomesali
ve.Myf eetshoul
dbepressed
somewhereonthesepedal sunderher
e.
“
Zanamuhl
a!No!No!No!
”
[
11/
19,
09:
59] :Ngcwet
hiHerWar
ri
or

Chapt
erFor
tySi
x

Zanamuhl
a
Igotacallf
rom Vuyiswat el
li
ngmet hatNkanyi
so
hasgoneAWOLonher .Thedudewassupposedt o
gowi t
hhertoDur bantobuyt hebl
anketsforumabo.
NowIhavet ocallthatdarkmanwhoneversmi l
es
thatNgcwethihi
redtodr i
vemeandaskhi mt odrive
met otheNgwanes.
BynowIshoul dbehomeandmaki ngsurethat
everythi
ngisr eadyfortheweddi ng,weareonl y
thr
eeweeksaway, butNgcwet hiisnott
aking
chanceswi thhi sbaby.EvenMazwakheadvi sedme
toonlygot hereaf ewdaysbef orethewedding.It'
s
tooriskyforapr egnantwomant obearoundpeopl e
whoshamel esslywantherdead.Honest lyIcannot
waittobeaMt hembubyl aw.Godknowst hatI'
ll
neversetmyf ootont hei
rpremisesagain.

Ngcwethi
'scarpull
supbel
owtheyardasIdr
essup
togototheNgwanes.He'
sstar
ti
ngtoover
dothi
s
husbandi
ngthing.Hewal
ksinandt
hrowsgif
tbags
onthebed.Hepassesabunchoffl
owerstomeand
l
iket
hosewomenonBold&TheBeauti
ful
,Ismell
t
hem wit
hmyeyescl
osedandt
henkisshischeek.
“
Thankyoust
handwasami
.Icoul
dn'
thaveasked
f
orabett
erman,
”Isay.
“That
'sbecauseyou'
reanamazi
ngwoman.Whyar
e
youdressi
ngup?Wher ear
eyoutaki
ngme?”
Youknow, I
'
venevertakenhi m anywher e.Bef or
eI
l
eavef ort
heNgwanes, beforetheweddi ng,Ishoul
d
organizealit
tl
eromant i
cget awaywi t
hhi smoney
andpamperhi m.Ihavet oaskthebusyVuyi swato
bookmei ntooneoft hoseexpensi verest aurant
s
shegoest oandt henwe' l
lgotoaspal ater.I'
m not
sureifhe'
llunderst
andt hemassaget hi ngsbuti fI
putmyf ootdownhe' l
ldoi t
.Ialsowantt hose
extr
avaganthappycoupl epicturesonmyphone.
“Nkanyi
soswitchedoffhisphone.Hewas
supposedtogowi t
hVuyiswat oDurbant
obuyt
he
blanket
sforumabo,”Isay.
“Whydon'
ttheybuyt
hem i
nthef
ree-
mar
kether
ein
ourt
own?”heasks.
“
Becauset
hey'
recheapi
nDur
ban,
”Isay.I
tseems
l
ikehef orgetshowmanyancest orsofhi sfamil
y
I'
m expect edtobuybl anketsf or.Evenhi s
grandmot her'sgreat-
grandmot herwasont heli
st.
Thent here'sthatgrandfather’sbrotherwhohad
threewi vesandeachwi fehadherownbr oodof
children.Andt heendlesslistofcousi ns!Ihaveto
givei ttoNkanyi so,hedidwel lbyrequestingacrazy
amountofl obola.However ,heneedst oputthat
amounti ntogooduse.Asi tishisdut y,Iwant
ever ythi
ngdonepr operlyformyweddi ng.
“Areyougoingtoleavewithoutsayinggoodbye?”
He'sstar
ingatmet hroughtherefl
ecti
onont he
mirror
.Iti
ethescarfaroundmyheadandt urnto
him.
“Whatdoyoumean?I'm comi
ngbackbef
oret
he
dayevenends,
”Isay.
“
Opent
hebagandseewhatIgotyou.
”
Oh!I'
m notbeingungrat
efuloranyt
hing,
butlat
ely
i
t'
sbeengiftseverydayandI'
veeventual
lygr
own
outofthe“yeey”phase.
Iopent
hef
ir
stbagandf
indaneckpi
ece.I
t'
s
wei
ghsabitheavysoIguessi
t'
smadeofr
eal
di
amonds.
“ThankyouJama,Il
oveit
,”Isayandgot othenext
bag.He'
sstari
ngatmewithhisarmsf ol
ded.It
mustbenicebeingapr
ovider,sl
ashsurpri
ser
.
“
Andt
hen?
”It
’saboxwr
it
tenSpanx.
Hebr
eaksabr
iefchuckl
eandst
epscl
osert
ome.
“Youboughtt
his?
”Iaski
nawe.I
t'
sabi
twei
rd,
he
boughtmeasetofunder
wear
.
“You'
l
lputthem onf
ormet oni
ght
,”I
'
m notsur
eif
he'st
ell
ingmeorasking.
“
Toni
ght
?”Iask.
“We'
regoi
ngsomewherepr
ivat
e.I
twoul
dbejust
youandI,
andourl
i
ttl
eone…thewhol
eni
ght
.”
Gosh,t
hepricei
sridiculous.Wi
llt
hepantytake
i
tsel
foffwhenIpeeandwi pemeaf t
erwar
ds?This
manissuddenlycarelesswitht
hemoney.
“
Howmuchar eyouwi ll
ingt
ospendonme? ”Iask.
I
t'
sbeenonethingaft
eranother
.Ifhecont
inueslike
t
hiswe'
llt
urnpoorbeforeweevengotoour
honeymoon.
Honeymoon?Hehasneverment
ionedi
t.
“EverycentthatIhave.Whichpantyareyou
wear i
ngtoday?”Ipushhishandsof fmeandmove
farfrom hi
m.Idon'twantthist
hingofusshagging
duringtheday,withpeopl
escatter
edont heyar
d,t
o
becomeahabi t
.
“
I'
minahur
ryNgcwet
hi,
”Isay.
“Ionl
ywantt
olook.IswearIwon'
ttouch,
”hesays
andli
ckshi
slowerli
p.
“You'
rel
ying,
”Isayandgrabmyhandbagfrom t
he
bedsi
depedestalandhur
rytowar
dsthedoor.
Hegrabsmyar mjustasI'm aboutt
owal kout
t
hroughthefr
ontdoor.Mazwakhei sstandi
ngwith
Mnothonextt
othevanpar kedintheyard.They'
re
wit
htwootherment hatIassumewor katthefar
m.
IcatchaglimpseofMazwakhe'
sf ur
rowedface
beforeI'
m snat
chedbacki
nsidethehouse.He
shutsthedoorandpinsmeagainstthewall
.
“
Whyar
eyour
unni
ng?
”heasksandunzi
psmy
j
acketandr
unshi
shandsovermyswol
lenboobs.
“Ngcwet hiIhavet ogoandf i
ndNkanyi so.Vuyiswa
i
swai ti
ngf orhi m,”Isayandt r
yt opushhi m off
.
Whati swr ongwi thhim?Whatwor ri
esmet hemost
i
st hefactt hatmybr otherhasacl ear
understandi ngofwhat 'shappeninginsidethi
s
house.Knowi nghowhei s,I
'm surethathe'sabout
tothrowupwher ehei s.I
t'
sokayf orhimt ogive
Vuyiswaor gams, butmycooki eshouldbeseal ed
regardl
essoft hefactthatI'
m abouttogetmar r
ied.
“I
'
llt
ransf
erhert
hemoneyf orthebl
anket
s,you
don'
thavetogother
e,”hesays.
“Oh,becauseyou'r
er i
ch?”Iask,abitwarmedup.
Whatmakeshi mt hi
nki t
'sokaytothrowhismoney
tosaveeverysit
uation?Moneyi snoteveryt
hing,
sometimesit’
saboutal l
owingpeopletotake
responsi
bil
it
yfortheiracti
ons.Ican'
tletNkanyiso
getawaywi t
hthis.
“No,becauseIwanttospendthisti
mewithyou,
”he
saysandr ubshi
sli
pstogetheranxi
ousl
y.
“
Iwantt
oconf
ronthi
m babe,
hecan'
tacceptmy
l
obol
aandt
henhi
def
rom t
her
esponsi
bil
it
iest
hat
comewi
thi
t.
”
“We'
l
lgot here…”Hishungryeyessear
chmine.I
'
m
sl
owlygivi
ngi ntohisdemands.“Pl
easet
akecare
ofmefir
st.Ihaven'tt
ouchedMaNgwanesince….”
Myeyeswi den.
“Sincewhen? ”Iask.Hemustn'tdar
epr
etendasi
fI
starvehim.Thiswholeweekhasbeenabouthim
andhi sgreedysexualneeds.
Hechuckl
esandl
inkshi
sfor
eheadonmi
ne.
“Okay,si
ncet
hismor
ning.ButIcan'
tgetenoughof
yousthandwasami
.Umnandikanjaninj
e.”
Irol
lmyeyesfir
standt henkisshi
m.Hestri
pshis
shir
toffandpul
lsmet owardsthebedr
oom.Hi s
energysaysi
tall
,I
'm abouttoberi
ppedapartagai
n.
.
.
Wear eattheNgwanes.It
'saroundsixatnoonand
allthel
ight
saretur
nedoff.I
t'
scloudytoday,i
t
turneddarkassoonasthesunset .
“
Isanybodyhome?
”Iyel
linf
rontofMamkhul
u’s
r
ondavel
.
There'
ssomemovementi nsi
de.Ngcwet
hist
eps
back,Iguesshe'
snotgoi
nginsi
de.
“
Whoisthat
?”Thedooropens.I
t'
sact
ual
lybr
ight
i
nsi
det
hehouse,theTVisplayi
ng.
“
It
'sme,
Zanamuhl
a,”Isay.
“
Oh,
comei
n.”
Thatwasabi tstr
ange.Shedidn'
tevenaskwhatI
want.TheMamkhul uIknowwoul d'vekeptme
outsi
deinthecoldforsol
idfi
vemi nutesjustt
ogr
il
l
mewi thunnecessar
yquesti
ons.

SABC1?It
houghtt
heywerenowf
ansofMzansi
Magi
candchannel
sli
ket
hat.
“
Sani
bona,
”Iaskandl
ookar
oundf
oraspott
osi
t.
“
Zanamuhl
a,”–i
stheacknowl
edgementt
hatIget
.
Not
hinghaschangedt
hatmuchi
nthei
rat
ti
tude.
“
Wher
eisNkanyi
so?
”Iask.
“
Hedi
dn'
tcomebackf
rom wor
k,”Mamkhul
urepl
ies.
Idi
dn'
tknowthathefi
nal
lyr
eal
izedhisageand
l
ookedforaj
oblikehi
speer
s.Bravo,
father
'sson!
“
Wher
edoeshewor
k?”Iask.
“
Hewentt
ofi
xNxumal
o’skr
aal
.”
Errr
?Thewhol eNkanyisoNgwanegoesar ound,
fi
xingpeople'
skraal
s.Wheredidmoneygo?And
wher ei
sZandile'
sweave?Whyi sshesoqui et
today?DSTV?WhydoIseet hatcheap,r
ustyareal
sit
tingontopoftheTV?Don'ttheyconnectthe
decoderandpuncht hatl
ovel
y,tal
lremote?
“Hewassupposedt otakeVuyi
swatoDurbanto
buyblanket
sforumabo,”Isayandwai
tforthe
answerastheystar
tlooki
ngateachot
her.
“
Ialsosenthim aquot
efort
heki
standhenever
r
esponded,”Isay.
Fi
nall
y,Mamkhuluclearsherthroatandlooksatmy
di
rect
ion.Idon'
tseethebossy-assfir
stwifei
nher.
“Zanamuhl
athetr
uthi
s,wesoldmostoft
hecows
andrenewedthef
urni
tur
e.Youknowhowpeopl
e
gossi paroundhere,wewer eti
redofbeinga
l
aughi ngstock.Zandil
ealsowant edtogether
driversli
cense,i
twasn'teasyaswet hought.She
keptf ai
li
ngherlearner
’stestandKhethil
ewasalso
tryingtopursuehercomput erstudi
es.Themoney
ranoutbef orewecouldsaveenoughf oryour
weddi ng.”
I
sthisajoke?Theycould'
vedoneanyt
hingt hey
wantedwiththemoney,butonl
yAFTERt he
weddingpreparat
ionswer
edoneanddust ed.
“
Whatabouti
nkomoyomqhoyi
so?
”Iask.
Noooo!Theymust
n'tdar
elookateachot
herl
ike
t
hat!
“Mamkhul
u?”Ir
aisemyvoi
ceandsnapher
att
ent
ioni
mmediatel
y.
“Nkanyi
sowasmeanttorepl
aceitbutt
hingsar
e
notcomingt
oget
her
,”shesays.
Ifeelsomethi
ngwar mr unni
ngdownmycheeks.
Howcant heydot histome?Iwould'
veletNgcwethi
buyt hebl
anketsandmaybeIwoul d'
vemanagedto
buyt heki
stmyself.Butthecowshoul
dcomef rom
them.ItshouldbeaNgwanecow, sl
aughteredto
mar r
yof faNgwanedaught
er.Ngcwethicannot
help,andifNkanyi
so'
sjobi
sfixi
ngpeople'
skr aal
s,
hewon' taff
ordacowinaspaceofthreeweeks.

Idon'
tknowwhenNgcwet
hiwal
kedi
n.Ihavemy
facebur
iedi
nmyhandswhenhi
svoi
cebreaksi
n.
“
Mbuyazi
,
”hegr
eet
s.
Becauseoft
hestickyci
rcumst
ancestheygr
eethi
m
backandoff
erhim achairt
osi
t.Butheremai
nson
hi
sfeetandcal
lsmyname.
“
Let
'sgo,
”hesays.
Idr
agmysel
fupandwal
kout
.
Hefol
lowsbehi
ndmesi
lent
lyandopenst
hecar
doorf
orme.
“
Whatdi
dtheydo?
”heasksoncehe'
sseat
ed.
“Theyspental
lthemoneyandsoldallthecows.
Eventhecowtomar r
ymeof f
,ever
ything
Ngcwethi!
”
“
Don'
tcr
yst
handwasami
,
”hesays,
pul
li
ngmyhand.
“
HowNgcwet
hi?Theykeepr
uini
ngmyl
if
e!”
“Cal
m down, I'
l
ltalkt
oMazwakhe.He'
syourbr
other,
i
twoul dn'
tbeapr obl
em i
fheboughtt
hecow.We're
gett
ingmar r
iedZanamuhla,
comehellorhi
ghwater,
you'
llbeMr sMt hembu.
”
“
WhatifMazwakhecan'
taf
for
dit
?Hej
ustst
art
ed
wor
king,
”Iask.
“He'
sMadoda' sson,
‘can'
taf
for
d’-doesn'
texi
sti
n
hisvocabul
ary.
”
Real
lynow?He'sgoingtobragabouthisfather
's
money.ButI
'm gr
atefult
othathot
-headed,corr
upt
bl
ackfarmer
.
.
.
Ngcwet
hi

Mazwakhewasn'
tgoi
ngtol
ethi
ssist
er'
sweddi
ng
bepost
poned.Hewentt
ooneofthef
armer
sin
associ
ati
onwi
thJama'
sandboughtt
hef
att
estcow
i
nt hef
arm.
Hisheartwasabi tbrokenwhenhesawt he
conditi
ont heNgwaneswer eli
vingunder.Butthey
hadmadei tcl
eartohimthathebel ongedwherehis
bloodran.So,hedeli
veredthecowandhadaf ew
wor dswithNkanyi
so, whohestillconsi
dersasa
l
ittl
ebrotherdeepdowni nhishear t
,andthenl
eft.

It
'sfi
vedaysawayf rom theweddingand
Zanamuhl aisleavi
ngsoon.Ngcwet hiknowsthat
shedoesn'treall
ybel i
eveintr
adi
tionalmedi
cines
andst uf
fli
kethat,eventhoughshesuppor t
shimin
everyt
hinghedoes.Butt hi
sti
met here'
shi
sbaby
i
nvolved,hecannotl ethergotothosepeople
withoutanyprotecti
on.
Heki
cksof
fhi
sshoesi
nfr
ontadoorwi
thahuge
bl
ackcr
ossdr
awnonit
.
“
Ngena,
”af
rai
lvoi
cecal
lsf
rom t
hei
nsi
de.
Hecr
awlsinwi
thhi
skneesandhi
shandscl
asped
t
oget
herandsi
tswi
thhi
slegscr
ossedont
hesmall
r
eedmatl
aidont
hef
loor
.
“
Mkhul
u,”hechant
sandbowshi
shead.
Themanchuckl
esandl
ight
sthecandl
esi
nfr
ontof
hi
m.
“
Isitt
hewif
ealready?
”heasksaft
erl
ight
ingt
he
l
astoneandlooksupatNgcwet
hi.
“
Yes,it
'shardst
ayi
ngawayfr
om her
.”He'
sgr
inni
ng
f
rom eartoearatt
hement
ionofhi
sZanamuhla.
Themanshakeshi
sheadwi
thasmi
leonhi
sface.
“
So,
whatdoyouwant
?”heasks.
“Somethi
ngtokeephersafewhil
eshe'saway.I
didn'
twantt
ogivehersomethi
ngf rom myownpot
,
youknowwhattheysay,”Ngcwethisaysandt
hey
bothshar
eachuckle.
Thenthemant
hrowshi
sstonesinfrontoft
hel
i
t
candl
es,t
hemoodimmedi
atel
yintensi
fi
es.
“Yourgr
andmot
heri
sst
il
lisol
atedf
rom t
hef
ami
ly,
”
hesays.
Ngcwet
hit
akesadeepbr
eat
h.Thi
sisnotwhathe
cameher efor.Thosei
ssuesaretoodeepf
oranyof
them.Hehasi gnoredt
hem thi
slongandheisnot
will
ingt
ot ouchthem.
“There'sacleansingthatneedst obedone.Lokhu
kungcol ahaspasseddownt ot womore
generationsandyourgr andfatheri
spissed.Andhe
cannotdoanyt hingtosavet hisfamil
yfrom
breakingapart,becausethisfamilyoweshim an
apology,”themansays.
Ngcwethishakeshishead.Hecan'
tdothis.Not
befor
ehiswedding.Thisist
oocompli
catedf orhi
m,
evenhisfat
herneverbother
edtosol
veit.It
'snot
hispl
ace.
“
Mkhul
ucanwet
alkaboutt
hisl
ater
?”heasks.
“Whyl at
er?Youwantt hef ami lytotearapartfi
rst
beforeyouf i
xt hi
ngs.Event hisboy…. ”Theman
pointsatthet i
nystonepeaki ngbet weenbigger
ones.ItmustbeQophel o.“Thi sonewi l
lsuff
erthe
doingsofhi sfathersandmot her.Thatchil
dyour
wifeiscarryingwilltur
nagai nstyouryoungest
brother'
schildrenandi twillbeamassacr e.”
Mnotho’schi
ldrenandhischil
d?No, hecannot
al
lowthattohappen.They'
redoingal lthis;worki
ng
hard,
takingwivesandbuil
dingtheirhousesi nt
he
vi
ll
age,sothattheycanbuil
dacl ose-knitMt hembu
cl
an.
“
Whatshoul
dIdo?
”heasks.
“Everywomant hathashadaprivat
eencounterwit
h
mor ethanonemani nthefami
lyshouldbr
inga
whitegoatatthepresenceoft
heMt hembuelder
s
andappease.”
It
'snotcompl i
catedashethought,exceptthathe
hast oburstMaMbonambi’ssecrets.Buthe'snot
compr omisingwitht
henextgenerati
onoft he
Mt hembus.She'l
lhavetot
aker esponsibi
li
tyofher
actionsaseverybodyel
se.
“
Whataboutt
hosewhohavepassedon?
”heasks
“
Thei
rfami
li
eswi
llst
andi
nfort
hem,
”themansays.
Henodshi
sheadandwat
chesashi
s‘Mkhulu’
pokest
hest
oneswit
hawidegr
inonhi
sface.
“
Whatdoyousee?
”heasks.
“Thetoughti
mesandgoodtimeslyi
ngahead.Thi
s
childhasnosenseoft
imi
ngatall
,
”themansays,
sti
llgri
nni
ngli
keaCheshi
recat
.
WhateverheseesthereNgcwethidoesn'
twantt
o
fi
ndout.Theonlythi
ngheneedst odoistogo
home,callanur
gentfamil
ymeet i
ngwi t
honlyhi
s
brot
hersandmot her
,andbreakthenewstothem.

Thiscleansi
ngceremonyhast obedonebef or
ehis
wedding.Nombuso’sf amil
yhavetostandinforher
andbringtherequestedwhitegoat
.Hisunclewil
l
knowwher etofindtheirgr
andmother
'srel
ati
ves
andthey'l
ldothesame.
Nandi?Mndenihastomakeuphismind,i
fhe'
s
goingtohaveafut
urewi
thhershe'
l
lalsoneedt
o
takeparti
nthecer
emony.
Andthenhi
smother,
hopeful
lyBusi
khayawon'
tki
ll
anyonewhenhef
indsout.
Butt
hen,
ther
emi
ghtbeaf
if
thper
sont
obr
ing….
[
11/
19,
09:
59] :Ngcwet
hiHerWar
ri
or
Chapt
erFor
tySeven

Everyonehasgat heredinthel oungetohonour

Ngcwet hi
'surgentcallofafami lymeeti
ng.Well,
exceptforMnot howho' ssti
llabsorbedina
phonecalloutsi
de.Zanamuhl awasbookedi nt
oa
spawi t
hVuyi swaandshe' sexpect edhomeafter
themeet i
nghasbeenadj ourned.Asmuchasshe' s
alr
eadyl i
kefamilytoeveryone, somethingsst
il
l
needtobekeptf r
om herears.
ThekidsweresenttoNtobe.She'
llhavet
oadj
ust
veryfastt
othi
sfamilybecauseonceyouget
i
nvolvedwithoneofthem t
heirpr
oblemspar
ti
all
y
becomeyourown.
“Cansomeonecal lMnothoin?Ileftsomanyt hi
ngs
undoneathome, ”theuncl
e,Siyabonga,says.
Befor
eanyonegoesoutMnot howal ksi
nwi thhi
s
eyesgluedonhisphone.He'si ntheworldofhis
own,he'sbeenglowingandsmi li
ngalonesincehe
camebackf rom Johannesbur
g.Andt hoselong-ass
cal
lsthathemakeswi thhi
svoi
cekeptati
tsl
owest
.
Somet hingi
sdefi
nit
elyup,
somethi
ngtheyal
l
motivatedhi
mt odo.
Hiseyesl andonhi suncl eandt henhelooksat
Ngcwet hiwho'ssquattingont hef l
oor.Alr
ight,
somet hi
ngi sdefi
nitel
ynotr i
ghtandheneedst osit
nexttohismot herbefor ethi
smeet ingstarts.Yes,
heknowswhatshe' sbeenupt o, i
tstart
edbef orehe
wasevenbor n,buthe'snotgoi ngtolethisbr ot
hers
gri
llherifthat
’swhatt hey'r
eher efor.
“Whyarewehere?”Busikhayaasks.He'
ssit
ti
ngon
thetwo-
seat
ercouchwithMndeni .Mazwakheis
sit
ti
ngonthechai
rbehindt hem andhel
ooksbored
alr
eady.
“Gog'
Nomalangai
sst
il
lisol
atedf
rom t
hef
ami
ly,
”
Ngcwethi
.
Mostofthem herealr
eadyknowthat.EvenMadoda
knewthatbef
or ehediedandit
'snotsomethi
nghe
worr
iedhimselfabout.WhywouldNgcwethibri
ngi
t
up?
“
Ourki
dsar
eindanger
,”hesaysandl
ooksat
Qophel
o'sfat
hers,
Busi
khayaandMazwakhe,
and
t
henglancesoveratMnot
ho.
“
Idon'
thaveki
ds,
”Mnot
hodef
endshi
msel
f.
“You'
l
lhavethem onedayandt
hey'
l
lbei
ndanger
,”
Ngcwethisays.
Theyal
lst
areathi
m.Heneedst
oexpl
ain.
“Aftergr
andfatherever
ymani nthisf
ami l
yhas
sleptwit
hsomeoneheshoul dn'thavesleptwit
h.
Youhaveal lbetr
ayedeachother,am Il
ying?
”
Busi
khayagl
ancesbehindhi
sshoul
derat
Mazwakheandthentakesadeepbr
eath.
Mndeniknowsexact
lywhatNgcwet
hiistal
king
about
,hi
seyeshavedroppedt
ohisfeet
.
“
Am Il
yingBaba?
”Ngcwet
hist
aresatSi
yabonga.
Hecl
earshi
sthroatandwi
peshisf
oreheadwi
tha
f
ace-
clot
h.He'
ssuddenlyf
eel
ingwarm.
“Yes,
ourfathersfoughtoverourmother.Andthat
t
hingbetweenBusi khayaandMazwakheover
Qophelo’
smot her,
”hesaysandt henlooksat
Mndenibrief
ly.“Andhim andMazwakhe’ sex-
f
iance.
”
Ngcwet
hinodshisheadandkeepshi
sstar
egl
ued
athi
m.MaMbonambir eachesf
oragl
assofwat
er
andgul
psitdown.
“Howaboutyoubetrayi
ngmyf
atherf
ort
went
y-f
ive
year
s?”Ngcwethiasks.
Ther oom goesdeadquiet
.Alleyesar
eon
Siyabongaandhel ooksli
kehejustswal
lowedahot
potato.
“Whatar
eyoutalki
ngaboutNgcwethi
?”Busi
khaya
askswhennei
theroft
hem tal
kfur
ther
.
“
AskMaMbonambi
,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
Busikhayastar
esathismot
her.Hedoesn'
twantto
assumet hi
ngs,thi
sishi
smotherandherespect
s
her.
“
Yourmot heri
sinnocenti
nallthi
s.I
'
mtheonewho
wentaf
terher,
”Siyabongasays.
“
Meani
ng?
”Busi
khayai
sal
readyonhi
sfeet
.
Mnot
horisesupandst
andsi
nfr
ontof
MaMbonambi.
Busikhayabreaksabri
efchuckl
e.Whatmakeshi
s
youngbr ot
herthi
nkshe'
dputhishandsonhis
mother?
“
Expl
ainSi
yabonga!
”her
oar
s.
Heswal l
owsandglancesathisbrother
'swi
fe-sl
ash
-
hissidechi
ck.Heneverwantedtoputherinthis
posi
ti
on.HowNgcwet hifoundoutremainsa
mysteryinhi
shead.
“YourmotherandIhavebeenseei
ngeachother
,”
hesaysfaint
lyanddropshi
seyesonthefl
oor.
“Maisthi
strue?Ndaba'
sbodyhasnoteven
decomposedundergr
oundandyou'
realr
eady
i
nvolvedwit
hhisbrot
her?”
Ngcwethicl
ear
shi st
hroat.Asmuchashefeel
s
sor
ryforhismotherbutsheisnotasai
nti
nthi
s.
“
Itst
art
edwaybef
oreNdabaevendi
ed.Bef
ore
t
herewasevenar
anchhouse,
”hesays.
“
What
???
”voi
cesasksi
mul
taneousl
y.
Busi
khayachargestowardshi
suncl
eandgrabs
hi
m byhiscol
lar.Befor
ehethr
owshim agai
nstt
he
wal
lst
rongerhandsgr
abhi
sshoul
der
s.
“
Sitdownbaf
o,”Mazwakhesays.
Hetr
iestopushpasthi
m buthi
sfi
rm gr
iponhi
s
ar
m pinshi
m downonthecouch.
“I
'm goingtokil
lyouwenanj a.Watchoveryour
shoulderseverywhereyougo!”Hisfi
ngeris
tr
embl i
ngasi tpoi
ntsathisuncle'
sface.Ohhis
poorfather
!Howcant heybetrayhi
ml i
kethis?He
can’
tevenbr i
nghi mselft
olookathismot herri
ght
now.Shedi sgustshi
m.
“Ndabahadot herwoment
oo.Alotoft
hem,”
Ngcwet hicommentsandt
heat
tenti
onshi
ft
sfrom
Siyabongat ohi
m.
“Whatdoyoumean?”Mnot hoaskswi
thaf r
ownon
hisf
ace.Whati
swrongwi t
ht hi
sfami
ly?Everyone
seemstohaveskel
etons.
“
Icaughthi
minhi
sof
fi
cewi
tht
wonakedwomen.
”
“
Hhayibo!At
hreesome?
”Mndeni
.
Everyonelookathi
m.Thisi
snottheti
metobe
stupid.Heclear
shi
sthr
oatandkeepshismout
h
shut
.
“MaMbonambiyouneedt oownupt o
your…ummm…youhaveapol ogi
zewi thawhi t
egoat.
Bab’Bongawilltakethebil
eoft hatgoatandown
uptohismistakest oNdabainhi sgrave,”hesays
andlooksathistwool dbrot
herswi thuneasiness.
Heknowst hi
swi llbeasensiti
vesubj ecttobothof
them,butt
heyhavet oconfr
ontt hi
struthforthei
r
son'
ssake.
“Youtwoalsoneedt
ocleanse.Nombuso’ sfami
ly
hastobri
ngthegoatonherbehalf.Thi
scan'tbe
all
owedtoconti
nueandaffectourchil
dren,
”he
says.
Theyhavealreadyt
alkedaboutmanythi
ngsand
for
giveneachother
.Butthi
sistoohar
d.
“
Qophel
owil
lknowt
hen,
”Mndenisaysi
ndeep
t
hought
s.
Ngcwet
hiheavesasi
gh.
“
Unfor
tunatel
y,yes.Busi
khayaneedstot
ellhi
mthe
t
rut
hbeforehef i
ndsoutonhisown.”
EVERYsecr
etsshoul
dbeoutbeforetheweddi
ng.
Bef
oret
hisbreedst
othenextgener
ation.
“Babayou'
llhavetofindyourmother'
sr el
ati
vesor
buythegoatonherbehal f.We'
l
lburnimpephoand
tal
ktobothgrandfather
sandbegf orhertobe
all
owedinsidethefamil
y,”Ngcwethisays.
“Whenisthisthi
nghappening?”Busi khayaasks.
He'snotreadytotel
lhissonthetruth.Hewant ed
himtobe16or18oreven25bef oret el
li
nghim.
Thiswil
lconfusehim complet
ely.
“
Tomor
roweveni
ng.
”
Everyonegasps.I
t'
stoosoon;t
hey'
reexpect
edt
o
arr
anget hegoat
sandcontactt
hepartner
s’f
ami
li
es
i
n24hour s.
“Mndeniwhat
'st
hestor
ywithNandi
?Ifyouseea
fut
urewit
hhershehastopart
akei
nthis,
”Ngcwet
hi
asks.
Mndenilaughs.He'stheonl
yonenotemot ional
ly
aff
ectedbyt hi
s.Yes,hedi
dn'tknowsomeoft hese
thi
ngsandt hey'
reshocki
ng,butli
fedoesn'
tstop
becauseofthem.
“No,thatonecanchi llthisoneout ,
”hesays.Evenif
hewaswi l
li
ngt oforgiveNandif orherli
esand
overl
ookt hefactthatsheknowst hegoodsbehi nd
hisbigbrother'
sbr i
efs,itwouldbehar dforother
femalemember sinthef ami l
yt oaccepther.
Zanamuhl astil
lhatesherf orbr eakingMazwakhe's
heartandVuyi swaist oodr amat ictoli
veinthe
sameyar dwi t
hherman' sex-girlfri
end.He'
llfi
nd
someoneel seandhei si nnor usht odoso.
“
That
'sal
lBoJama,
”Ngcwet
hiadj
our
nst
hemeet
ing.

WhenSiyabongawalksoutwit
hhisheadshoved
downtohisfeetBusi
khayast
andsupandf ol
lows
hi
m.Mazwakher eali
zeswhatmighthappenoutsi
de
andr
unsaf t
erthem.

Mndenidisappear
stot hekitchen.Mnot
hor emains
behindf
oraf ewminutes,hehassomet hingtotell
Ngcwethibuthereal
izesthatMaMbonambial so
needsamomentwi t
hhi m andexcuseshimself.
Ngcwethisumsupt
hecour
ageandl
ooksupathi
s
mother
.
“Howdi dyouknow? ”sheopenshermout hforthe
fi
rstti
mei nthirt
ymi nutes.Hi
sgiftcanbebot hgood
andbad.Thel astthi
ngsheneededwasherchi l
dren
toknowt helif
eherandt hei
rfat
herlived.Nomat ter
whatwasgoi ngonbet weenthem theynever
showedi tt
ot heirboys.Theyprotect
edt hem atall
costs.
“Iwas17,
Igotsi
ckandcamebackfr
om school
.
NdabawasawayandBab’Bongawasonbedwith
you,
”Ngcwet
hisays.
Sheshutshereyesandpraysforthefl
oortoopen
upandswallowher.I
twould'vebeenbett
erifhe
sawthi
sinhisdreams.Whatat raumasheputher
sonthr
ough!Shethoughttheywerealwayscaref
ul.
“I
'
m sosorr
ymf anawami,”shesayswit
htear
s
pouri
ngdownonhercheeks.Ngcwethiget
sofft
he
fl
oorandsi
tsnexttoher
.
“
It
'sokay.Iknowthatyou'
reagoodmotherandyou
wereagoodwi f
etohim event
hought
histhing
happened.
”
“
Butst
il
l,
youshoul
dn'
thaveseent
hat
,”shesays.
Ngcwethiwrapshisarmsar oundherandcalmsher
down.Hedoesn'tthi
nklessofher,heneverdid
exceptint
hosefewdaysofanger ,she'
shismother
andhewor shi
pstherainthatwater
sthegrass
growingonthegroundsthatshewalkson.
“
Iwi
llgetthatmot
herf
u€ker!
”Busikhaya'
svoi
ce
r
oar
sout si
dethedoor
.He'sargui
ngwi t
hMazwakhe.
“Don'
tstressyoursel
fabouthim.Youknowhowhe
alwaystakesthi
ngswi t
hhisleftbr
ain,
”Ngcwet
hi
says,hopingtocalm hi
smotherdown.

Thenoiseout
sidedi
es.MaMbonambigoest oher
room t
ochangetomoredecentcl
othesasshe's
abouttoembarkonajour
neytoNkuli
satolether
famil
yknowwhatshehasdone.
Mnothof
inal
lyget
sthechancetoseeNgcwethi
al
one.Hehasmadethecallandbookedafl
ightf
or
hert
oKZN.Thingswerenotsupposedtobeli
ke
thi
sandhef earsthatthi
swholethingmightscare
her.Theyjustmet ,i
ttookalotofconvi
ncingforher
togowi thhi
mt othefuncti
onandweeksf orherto
real
izethathemeantwhathesai dandhewas
will
ingtodoj ustanythi
ngtoprovehisl
ovef orher
.

Khuthimayhavewi t
nessedherpar ents’brut
al
death,perseveredsevereabusef rom heraunt
growingupi nTshil
ungomavi llageandsur vi
ved
harshcondi ti
onsinJohannesbur gtomakeend-
meet sandt ookriskstoaffordashel t
eroverher
head.Butshe' sstil
laVhendapr incessandwhen
shewant st oknowsomet hingshepushesunt i
lshe
getsit.Heknowst hatwhenshel andsi nKZNhe' ll
havet otellherwhyshei sher e.Allthi
swi l
lbe
overwhelmi ngforsomeonewhocomesf rom
anothertri
be, someonewhoal readyf earsanything
thathast odowi thZulumen.

Hesi
tsonthechai
rthatwasoccupi
edby
Mazwakheear
li
erandrubshi
spalmstoget
her
.He'
s
abouttocompli
cat
ethesituat
ionf urthermor
e.
Sadly,
iti
swhatiti
s.Helovesherasmuchas
Ngcwethil
ovesZanamuhla.They'llbothhaveto
dealwit
hconsequencesoftheiractions.
“RememberwhathappenedinSunnysi
dePark
hotel
?”heasksandNgcwethil
ooksupwithafrown
onhisface.Whywoul
dMnot hobri
ngthatup?
“
Itendedt
her
eMnot
ho.
”Hi
stonecar
ri
esaheavy
warni
ng.
Mnot
hoshi
ft
suncomf
ort
abl
yandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“
Sheneedst
obeher
easwel
l,
”hesays.
Whatt
hehel
l?
!
“
No,
shedoesn'
t,
”Ngcwet
hiobj
ect
sfi
rml
y.
“
I'
minl
ovewi
thher
.”
Hi
swor l
dstopsf oramoment .Whaaat
?Hecan' tdo
t
histohim.Theyhadadeal ;t
of i
ndonestrangegir
l
f
rom adiff
erentprovi
nceanddowhatt heywere
i
ndebtedtodoandl eave.I
fshecomesher eZano
wil
l….
no,j
ustno!
“
Mnot
hogetoveri
t.I
'
m notl
osi
ngZanamuhl
aover
aprosti
tut
e.Whatthehellareyout
hinki
ng?Youcan
getanygirlyouwantbutyou…”Busi
khayawalksi
n
andstaresatbothofthem.
“
He'
sdat
ing?
”heasks.
Nobodyanswer
s.Theyj
ustgl
areateach.
“
Whoi sshe?”Hesitscomf
ort
ablyonthecouchand
wai
ts.Mnothostut
ters,
Ngcwet
hi'
slookis
mur
deringhim.
“
What
’sgoi
ngonher
e?”Busi
khayaasks.
Mnot
hopul
lshi
msel
ftoget
her
.
“Ngcwet hiknewaboutt
hiscurseorwhat everi
sita
whileago.Hehadadr eam thenightbeforehecame
toattackmeandt henwedecidedt opreventit
beforeithappened.
”
Busi
khayacockshi
sheadt
othesi
deandnar
rows
hi
seyes.
“Hedidn'
twantittobeZanamuhla,
sowehadt o
fi
ndagi r
l,ast
rangeonefr
om adiff
erentpr
ovi
nce.
Wedidi t
,himfi
rstandt
henmel ast
ly,
”Mnotho
cont
inues.
“Youcheated?”Busikhayat
urnst
oNgcwethiint
otal
disbel
ief
.Theybettermakesuret
hatt
hisnever
comesout .
Ohno,
ther
e'smor
e…
“If
elli
nlovewi t
hherandwe' reinar el
ati
onship.For
thefi
rstti
meaf terKhweziIcanseemyf uturewit
h
someoneel se.Iloveher,
bafo,andifI'
m goingto
havechildrenit'
llbewithher,event
uall
yshe'llbe
MrsMt hembuandIwanthert odothisgoatthing
withothers.”
“That
'snothappening!
”Ngcwethiri
sesfr
om the
couchwi t
hadaringlookonhisface.Hecan'
tlet
himruinhisli
fel
ikethi
s.Theyhadadamndeal !He
wasn'tsupposedtofal
linl
ovewithher.
“WhyNgcwet hi
?Youpr oposedthiswhol et
hing.
Everyoneistakingresponsibil
it
yf orthei
racti
ons.
TonightI'
m goingtolookatmyson’ seyesandtel
l
himt hatI
'
m nothi sfather.You'
regoi ngtoownyour
shi
taswel l.Mnothoi snotgoingt ostoplovi
ngagirl
toaccommodat eyourinfidel
it
y,”Busikhayasays.
“
ButZanamuhl
aisgoi
ngt
oleaveme.Ican'
t….
”He
gagsonhiswordsandfall
sbackont hecouchwit
h
hishandsonhisfor
ehead.Hecan'
tloseher!He
wouldn'
tdoanythi
ngtohurther
,heactedoutof
fearandheregr
etsit
.
.
.
Ngcwet
hi

Hedi
dn'
tsleepawi nk.Hekepttur
ningandtossi
ng
t
hewholenight
.Itcould'
vebeentheirl
astni
ght
t
oget
herandthisthoughtki
ll
shim.
Well
,everyonei
sonMnot ho’
ssideanditkindof
makessense.However,hesti
llf
eel
sbetrayedbyhi
s
ownbr ot
her.Hehastoli
vehiswholeli
felooki
ngat
thegir
lhecheatedonZanamuhlawith.Thegirl
who'sabouttocosthi
mt hewomanofhi sdreams.
Mndeniwaswil
li
ngtomakethesacri
fi
cefor
MazwakheandVuyiswa’
ssake.Whycan'
tMnot
ho
dothesameforhi
m?
Mazwakhehasn' tcommentedont hesi
tuati
oneven
thoughhef oundoutbeforegoingtobed.Ngcwet hi
knowsthathecan’ tr
eal
lycountonhim becauseout
ofthem al
l,Mazwakhehasneverbeenabr otherto
him.Het r
eatshim ashissister
'sboyf
ri
endt hathe
sometimeshat es.
Zanamuhl aknowsabouttheceremonyt hat’
staking
placelat
eronthedayandshehaspost ponedgoi ng
homeagai nstever
yone'sr
equesttodoso.Vuyi swa
andNt obearecomingoverforthegirl
fr
iendduties
i
nt hekit
chen;MaMbonambidoesn' tknowabout
them yet,
asfarassheknowst hey'
rejust
Zanamuhl a’
sfri
endsanditwil
lstaythatwayunt il
afterNgcwethi
'swedding.

Ngcwet hiisalreadyfeel
ingsi
ck.Hiswholebodyis
heavyandhe' ssneezingnon-
stop.When
MaMbonambiar ri
vedwi t
hherdrunkar
dcousin,she
quickl
ymi xedlemonandwar m waterandfor
ced
hi
mt odrink.Butit'
l
ltakemorethanaf l
uremedyf or
hi
mt obeokay.He' semot i
onal
lyunwellmorethan
he'
sphysi callyunwell.
Zanamuhlawalksin.She'
swearinganapronand
sweati
ngfrom t
hekitchenheat
.Whensheseeshim
l
ookingfr
ailonbedshepanicsandrushestohim.
“St
handwasamiar eyouokay?”sheaskswi
thher
handfeel
ingever
ysideofhishead.
There'
sacarpul
li
ngupoutsi
de.I
tmustbet
hem,
theyweret
heonlyoneswhohadn'
tar
ri
ved.
Hest
aresatZanamuhl
a,onet
earr
oll
sdownhi
s
f
ace,
she'sdef
ini
tel
ygoi
ngtol
eavehi
m.
“Il
oveyouZol
wandle,
”hewhi
spersandwi
peshi
s
cheekwit
hthebackofhi
shand.
“You'
rescari
ngme.Areyouokay?They'
reaboutt
o
star
t,ever
yonei
shere.
”
“
I'
mjustscar
ed,
that
'sal
l.
”
Shedecidesnottogri
llhi
m wit
hfur
therquesti
ons
andjustpullhi
m upandcovershi
sshoulderswit
h
hi
sjacket.She'
llt
akecareofhi
mlater
.
Ever yonegat her
sbelowtheyard.Therear efour
whi t
egoat sandalotofunfamil
iarfaces.Thetall
manwi thSangoinhisarmsmustbeNombuso’ s
relative.There'
sanotherwomani nmour ningblack
clothes, shearri
vedwithtwogrey-hai
redmen.They
mustbet hegrandmother'
sfamil
ybecause
Siyabongahasbeenwi t
hthem sincetheygother e.
Oh,andthatbeer-
drinki
ngwomanwhocr i
ti
cizes
ever
ythi
ngthey'r
edoi nginthekit
chen.
MaMbonambit hinksNt obeandVuyiswaare
Zanamuhla’
sfri
ends, butthecousindi
dn'
tneedto
asktoknowwhot heyreall
yare.
Andthere'
sayoungdar
k-beaut
y,shemustbei
nher
ear
lytwenti
esandshel
ookslostever
yti
me
someoneopensthei
rmouthandtalk.
Shemustbeoneoft
her
elat
ives.

“Dower eal
lyneedt
oseethi
s?”Vuyiswawhi sper
s
whenthemant heyassumeisthecoordinat
orofall
thi
sbringsali
dofburni
ngimpephotot hefi
rst
goat'
sface.
“Iwanttowat chNgcwethi,he'
snotwel
l,
”
Zanamuhlasays.She'sdeadwor ri
edabout
Ngcwethi'
sflue.Maybeshehast ofor
cehimtogo
tothedoctorbefor
eleaving.
“
IsBusi
khayanotwel
ltoo?
”Vuyi
swal
ooksatNt
obe.
Sheshr ugshershoul
dersandtheybot
hretur
nto
thekit
chen.Thepotsareburni
ngandthiswhole
thi
ngofki l
li
nggoatsf
orhuman'swrongdoi
ngsis
cruelandscary.

Aft
erMaMbonambi ’
sconf essi
on,Busikhayaand
Mazwakhest epforward.Thet allmanwhohad
Sangoi nhisarmspul l
st hegoatandkneel sinfront
ofthem.Thecoor di
nat
orj oinswi t
hhisbur ni
ngl
id
andt heyallkeepthei
rvoi ceslowast heyexchange
apologies.

Ther
e'sonlyonegoatt
ogoandt
hey'
l
lal
lgoi
nsi
de
tosl
aughtert
hem.
Thatgi
rl
….whoi
sshest
andi
ngi
nfor
?Mndenir
uled
outhi
srel
ati
onshi
pwi
thNandiandt
hisgi
rli
snot
Nandi
.
Someonehastopul
lthegoatf
orherbecauseshe'
s
toocl
assyandshel
ooksfri
ght
enedbyallthi
s.
Mnothostepsforwar
d.Zanamuhlaistheonl
yone
l
ookinglost
.Mazwakhestandsnexttoherand
squeezesherhand.
“Let
'sgoinsi
de, Iwantt
oshowyousomething,
”he
whisperstoher.Butshest
andsst
il
l,
somethingjust
doesn'tf
eelri
ght.
Ngcwethil
ooksatherdi r
ect
ionwit
hbloodshoteyes
andthensl
owl ystepsfor
wardthegir
landMnot ho.
Thecoordi
natorjoinst
hem wit
hhisli
d.
“Ngcwet
hiwhatareyoudoi
ng?Whyar eyout
her
e?
Whoisthat?
”Afir
m gri
pholdsherar
m asshe
att
emptstorunt
oNgcwethi.
“
He'
l
lexpl
ainHl
ahl
a,”Mazwakhesays.
“
Explai
nwhat?Whatisgoingonhere?Mnothowho
i
sthatandwhyismymanper for
mi ngthi
sfuck-
t
ri
angleapol
ogythi
ng?”She'
sscreamingand
Ngcwet
hi'
shearti
sbeati
ngdr ums.Everyoneis
st
ari
ngatthi
scrazy,
pregnantwomanwho' smaki
ng
noi
seduri
ngsuchani mport
antprocess.
“Ngcwethianswerme!”She'
sst
ruggl
ingt
obr
eat
he
proper
ly,hervi
sioni
sbli
ndedbytear
s.
“
Imadeami
stake….
”
Ital
lfeel
slikeabaddream andshewantst
owake
upsobadl y.HerNgcwethi
?Herwarr
ior
?Howcan
hedot hi
st oher
?
[
11/
19,
10:
00] :Ngcwet
hiHerWar
ri
or

Chapt
erFor
tyEi
ght

Ngcwethi'
swor dsfallondeafears.Maybei fthey
hadaf i
ghtbeforehisJohannesbur gtr
ipshe
would'
veunder st
ood, buttheyweremor ethangood.
Thatverysamemor ningtheyhadami nd-blowing
gl
ory,sheir
onedhi sshirtandpackedhisbagf or
hi
m.Hewat chedherdoal lthat
,drovetotheai r
port
andtookaf l
ighttofucksomeonei nJohannesbur g.
Inthoselonghourshedi dn'
tthinkabouther ,not
evenonce.Heneverconsi deredherf eel
ings,allt
hat
mat t
eredtohim wasshar i
ngagi rlwithhisyoung
brother.Whatmakesherevenmor eangryisthe
factthathe'
ssti
llt
ryi
ngtoshif ttheblamet o
Mnot howhereasheinit
iatedthiswhol emadness.
“Didyouuseprotecti
on?”sheaskswi
thherhandon
thezippedsui
tcaseont opoft
hebed.Whatever
answer shegi
vesrightnowchangenothi
ng,she
j
ustwant scl
osure.
Hepopshisfi
ngerjoi
ntsandchewshisbot
tom l
ip.
Thi
siswhathe'sbeendoingever
yti
mesheasks
hi
m aquesti
onhecan'tanswer.
“
Didyouenj
oyi
t?”Sheswal
lowsandf
ight
sbackt
he
t
ears.
“
No,”hesays,hopi
ngit
'l
lgranthi
m somemercy.But
i
tdoesn'
t,
nothingatt
hispointwi
llmakeherf
orgi
ve.
“Pi
ty!We'r
ebreakingupoversomethingyoudidn'
t
evenenjoy,
”shesaysandpul l
sthesuit
caseoffbed.
There'
sadown- pull
ingf
eel
ingonhisshoulder
sand
hefeel
sanur gentneedtositdown.Buthecan't
aff
ordt
osi
tandwat
cht
hel
oveofhi
sli
fewal
kaway
fr
om hi
m.
“Zolwandleyou'r
eleavi
ngme?I twasmyf i
rstand
l
astt i
memaki ngthiski
ndofmi stake.Ar
eyour eal
ly
goingtoleavemel i
kethis?”heasksinastrained
voice.Hi
sj oi
ntsareget
tingweakerandweaker .
“I
'
m goi
nghome,
”shesaysandi
gnor
est
hepai
nful
gri
maceonhi
sface.
ThedooropensandMazwakheletshimselfi
nsi
de
thei
rbedroom f
ort
hefir
stt
ime.Heglancesat
Ngcwethionceandgoesoverhi
ssist
er.
“
Hlahl
a,”hesaysandenvel
opesheri
nabi
ghug.
“
Youwer
eri
ght
,Iwi
shIhadl
ist
enedt
oyou.
”
Hebrushesherbackandlif
tsherfaceup.I
thur t
s
hi
m seei
nghissist
erli
kethis,
he'
sbeenf i
ghtingthe
ur
getopunchNgcwet hi
’sfacesi
nceyesterday.
“
Vuyi
swawi
llgowi
thyou,
”het
ell
sher
.
Shenodsherheadandpul l
shersuit
caseoutofthe
door
.Mnotho’scari
ssti
llparkedout
side,
which
meansthatKhuthii
sst
il
laround.Sheunderst
ands
herinnocence,thi
shadnot hi
ngtodowithher,she
owedhernol oyal
ty.I
t'
sallNgcwethi
'
sdoing,
but
sti
ll
,shefeelssomer esentmentt
owardsher.
MaMbonambij ustgi
vesherapi t
ylookandaweak
smil
e.She'sal
sogoingthroughherownshitand
eveni
fshewasn' t
,herdaughter
-i
n-l
aw'spai
nis
under
standabl
e,shecannotstopher.

Ngcwet hiwantedt ogoaf terherdespitehi

sweak
j
ointsbutMazwakhebl ockedhi sway.Nowt hey’re
bothglaringateachot her.Bot hangryateachot her
fordiff
erentreasons.Obvi ously,Mazwakheisangr y
becauseNgcwet hihasbr okenhi spreci
oussister'
s
heart.ButNgcwet hi’
sangerr isesfrom adif
ferent
place.
“I
t'
sfunnyhowyouwer eabletol
ookover
ever
ybody'
swrongdoing,
forgi
vethem andact
ual
ly
beabigbrot
hertothem,exceptf
orme. ”
“Don'
tevenst
art
!”Mazwakhesaysangr
il
y.Thi
s
blame-
gameisbecomingannoyi
ng.
“
You'
veneverst
oodupf
orme.WhoeverI
'
m agai
nst
,
Ialwaysknowthatyou'
llpi
ckthei
rside.Thi
sisnot
evenaboutHlahl
abecauseIknowt hatyou'
reher
brothermoret
hanyou'l
leverbeabrothertome.”
“
Whatdoyouwantmet odo?Claphandsf
oryou
l
ikeever
ybodyel
se,
”Mazwakheasks.
“Maybetrynottosideli
neme.Trynottobebi ased
abouteveryt
hingthatincl
udesme.You'realso
dati
ngsomeone' ssist
er,t
hesamewayNcamif eel
s
aboutyouisthesamewayyouf eelaboutmeand
yougivemet hesameunki ndtr
eatment.Itneedsto
stopbecauseyouknowhowmuchIl ove
Zanamuhla,”hesays.
“
Ist
hatal
l?
”Mazwakheasks.
“Yes,
Iwanttosleep.
”Hecrawlsonbed,l
iesonhis
stomachandshutshiseyes.MaMbonambisaidhe
wascomingupwi thfl
ubutknowinghowheis,thi
s
mightbemorethanjustaflu.
Helooksfrai
landhiswor dscutdeepl
yin
Mazwakhe'sheart.HelovesMnotho;he'
ddo
anythi
ngforhim,eventakingali
fe.Hi
m andHl
ahl
a
occupythesamesof tspotinhi
sheart.
Thent here'
sBusi khaya,t
hesecondbul linthekr aal.
Hehat esandl oveshim.Theyal waysf i
ghtbutt hey
haveeachot her'
sbacks.Lastni ghtalsoprovedt hat
Busikhayai sjustabigscaryt eddybearwi t
hasof t
heartforthosecl osetohim.Hemadesur et hat
neit
herMazwakhenorNombusol ookedbadt o
Qophel o.Hemadehi m understandthatMazwakhe
l
oveshi m asmuchashel oveshi m.Bot hoft hem
arehisf at
hersandt hey'
llco-
par entverywel l
.
Mndeniwasthefi
rstbr ot
hert
owar m uptohi
m and
makesuret
hathef eltathome.Yes,he'
sannoyi
ng
AFbuthewouldn'
tt r
adehi mforanyt
hing.
Ngcwet hi?Henevergr
aspedtheideaofthem bei
ng
brothers.Yes,
maybehehasneverst oodupforhim.
Evenwhenhewentawayf orawhol eweek,i
tnever
botheredhim wherehewasorifhewasokay.
Nowhe' stor
nbet weenhist wohalf-
sibli
ngs.Hehas
tofeelZanamuhla’spainandal soputhimselfi
n
Ngcwet hi
'
sshoes.I ff
uckingsomer andom chick
wasgoi ngtopreventsomeonef r
om sleepi
ngwith
hisVuyiswa,he'
ddoi ttoo.Becauseint hi
sworld
menal waysputtheirownf eel
ingsfi
rst.Ngcwethii
s
uniquebuthe'
snodif
ferentspeci
es,he’
samanand
hewantsZanoallt
ohimsel f
.Hedoesn'tmi
ndi
fhe
sacri
fi
ceshisownpurenessalongtheway.
.
.
Vuyi
swa

Thingsar
etense.I'
veneverseenZanosobr oken.I
f
i
twasn'tf
ormebei ngpaininherarseandforci
ng
fooddownherthroatshe'
dbestarvingher
selfto
death.
Shehasn' tsai
danyt hingaboutthewedding.It
doesn'
tlookl i
keshe'llbemarryingNgcwethi
anymore.TheMt hembushaveal sopausedthe
prepar
ationstonur seNgcwet hiwhohassuddenly
fel
lhorr
iblysick.
Hissi
cknessweighsdownheavil
yonMazwakhe, I
don'
tknowwhyhewoul dfeelr
esponsi
bleforit
.If
he'
ssickbecauseofhi
sbreak-
upfrom Zanothen
hebroughti
tuponhimsel
f.
Hepar ksout
sidetheNgwanehomesteadandcal l
s
me.Iaskedthathet akemehomesot hatIcanget
somecl ot
hes.Idon'tknowhowlongZanoisgoing
tostayhere,
andf orMazwakhe’
ssakeIhavetobe
hereandlookafterher.

AsImakemywayt owardst
hecarInot
icethathe'
s
wi
thsomeone.Thedevi
l'
sPA;Mamkhulu.
Whatisshedoi
ngwi
thhi
m andwhyi
she
ent
ert
aini
ngher
?
Bef
oreIcouldr
eachthecarshel
eaveswi
th
somethi
nginherhand.She'
sact
ual
lysmi
li
ng.
What'
sgoingonhere?
“
Vuyi
swa,
”sheacknowl
edgesmeandwal
kspast
.
Idon'
tevenhavethetimetoappreci
atethathe
camedr i
vingaMercedesViano,
I'
m eagertoknow
whatthatwomanwant ed.Shechasedhimlikea
dog.
“
Whatdi
dshewant
?”IaskassoonasIset
tl
eonmy
seat
.
“
They'
rest
ruggl
ingVuyi
swa.
”
Soareothermil
li
onofSout
hAf r
icans.St
ruggl
ing
i
sn'tsomethi
ngnew,mostfamil
iesaregoi
ng
thr
oughthesamet hi
ngandtheydidn'
tbl
owupany
i
nherit
ance.
“
Yougavehert
hemoney?
”Iask.
“Theyhavekids,youngki
dswhosti
llthi
nkI'
mthei
r
bigbrot
her.Also,Ngwanerai
sedme,”hesaysand
shrugshisshoulders.
“
DoesZanamuhl
aknowt
his?
”Iask.
“
Itwasj
ustt
hisonce,
”hesays.
Ireall
ydon'thavewordsforhi
m.Whatifshebuys
poisontokillZanamuhl
aandIwi t
hthemoneyhe
gaveher ?I
’m comingbacktohaunthi
m ever
ydayi
n
hi
ssl eep.
“Whosecarist
his?”Ichangethesubj
ectbecause
argui
ngwithhi
mi sthelastthi
ngIwantt
odoandI
al
sodon'twantt
ocont rolt
hewayhespendshi s
money.
“
Myf
ather
's,
”hesays.
Di
dhejustsaythat
?Hesmi
lesbackatmeand
st
art
sthecar.
“
Youj
ustcal
ledhi
m yourf
ather
?”Iaski
nawe.
“Yes,I
'm donelivi
nginthepast
….wehavet ofi
nd
someoneel setoperfor
mt henamingrit
ualforyour
baby,Idon'tt
hinkNgcwethiisf
itenoughtodo
anythi
ngr i
ghtnow. ”
Oh,that!He'soverwhel
mi nglysupporti
ve.Ididn'
t
expectthisrel
ati
onshiptobeanyt hingcloseto
perfect
ion.IwishNcami canr eal
izethi
sandl earn
toacceptourr el
ati
onship.It
'ssadthatIcan'teven
takeAphiweoutwi thusbecausehehasn' tbeen
properl
yintroducedtothefami l
y.
“
Doyout
hinkhe'
l
lbeal
ri
ght
?”Iask.
“
Who?Ngcwet
hi?Ihopeso,
”hesays.
“
Whyi
shesi
ck?
”Iask.
Hesi
ghsheavi
ly.
“
Ngcwethii
sunique.I
fhestressestoomuchthose
whopr
otecthi
ml eavebecausetheyonl
ystayina
pur
epl
ace.I
ftheyl
eavei
ttakesat
ollonhi
sheal
th.
”
I
'
m gl
adhe'
snotNgcwet
hi,
becausewow!
“
Whati
fhedoesn'
tst
opst
ressi
ng?
”Iask.
“
He'
l
ldi
e,
”hesays.
Idon'
twishtobeZanamuhl ari
ghtnow.Thismanis
obvi
ouslyconnectedtoheri
nmor ethanoneway
andifshedecidesnottogobacktohim hi
sdeat
h
wil
lbeonher.

Hedecidestostayinthecartoavoiddeal
ingwith
Ncami,andtodayitlooksli
keal
lthegir
lsarehere.I
hopehe'l
lbepatientenoughbecausetheywon'tlet
megoeasi l
y.
“Lookwho'
sback?
”Maur
eenscr
eamswhenshe
seesme.
Irol
lmyeyesandhugher.Wherearet
heyplanni
ng
togo?Iknowthatt
heydon'
tlaythemake-
upsets
onthetabl
eli
kethi
sfornot
hing.
“
Wher
ehaveyoubeen?
”Ncamiasks.
“Wi
thZanamuhl a,
”Isayandpi
cktheglassofwi
ne
ont
hetable.Iknowthere'
sani
nterr
ogati
oncoming.
“
Allt
hesedays?
”Maur
eenasks.
“
Iwasatt
heMt hembusearl
i
eri
naweekandt
henI
wentt
oZano'
shome,”Isay.
“
Att
heMt
hembus?
”
“Mazwakhe' sbrotherwassupposedtogetmarri
ed.
Somuchhappened, Zanol
eftandandand.Where
areyoual lgoing?
”Iask,pi
ckinguptheli
psti
ck.I
haven'tdonemyf aceinal
ongt i
me,I'
vebeentoo
absorbedi ntheMt hembudrama.
“
Hisbr
other
?”Maur
eenf
rowns.
“
NgcwethiMt
hembu.Youknowt hem mos,
Mndeni
wasatt
hepart
yinyourhouse.
"
Whatupwi
ththatfr
ozenf
ace?Sheknowseveryone
i
nSouthAf
ri
ca,I'
m sur
eshealsoknowsNgcwethi.
“You'
redat
ingMndeni’sbrot
her
?”Ncamiseems
shockedaswell
.Ididn'
tknowthatsheal
soknows
peoplef
rom t
hevil
lage.
“
Yes,
Mazwakhei
shi
sel
destbr
other
,”Isay.
ThemomentisbrokenbyBusi
’shi
gh-pi
tchedvoi
ce.
Theatt
ent
ionmovesfrom meandtheMt hembu
brot
her
stoher.Di
dsheseeaghostorsomet hi
ng?
“Who'
sparkedout
sidethegat
e?”Whatevershesaw
must'
vebeentr
aumatizi
ng.Hereyesar
epopping
out
.
“
It
’sMazwakhe.Why?
”Iask.
Shel
ooksatmeasi
fI'
m cr
azy.
“
Whatdoyoumean-‘
why’
?He'
sdr
ivi
ngadamn
Mer
cedesVi
ano.
”
Oh,
thi
siswhati
tisal
labout
?Acar
.
“
Yes,i
twashi
sfat
her
's,
”Isayandt
urnbackt
othe
t
abl
e.
Ncamihasherhandonherf
oreheadl
ikesomet
hing
hugej
ustcr
awledint
ohermind.
“
Whydi
dn'
tyout
ellmebef
ore?
”sheasks.
“
Tel
lyouwhat
?”I
'
mlost
.
“Thathe'sMadoda'sson.Mygosh,
Maur
eengocal
l
himinside.Ican'
tbel
ievet
his!
”
Idon'
tknowwhat '
sgoingon.Iknowhowt hingsrol
l
here,
yourpocketear
nsyour espect
,butthiswhole
commotionisunnecessar
y.Imadei tcl
eartot hem
thati
nMazwakheI ’
m notl
ookingforamealt i
cket
orasponsor.
“I'
m sosorryaboutt hethi
ngsIsai
dtoyouthatday.
Vuyii smylit
tl
esisterandI'
m al
waysextr
a
protecti
veofher.”Maureenappearswi
thaglassof
Orosj ui
ceandNcami ’
seyeisenoughtosendherto
themor gue.“Getarealjui
ceMaureen,
”shesays
fi
rml y.
SincewhenOrosisconsider
edas‘
unreal
’j
uicei
n
thi
shouse?Weevenst ealAphi
we’
s.Mazwakhe
doesn'
tevencar
eaboutj ui
ces.
Hi
snewcal m nat
uresendsat r
ailofti
nglesallover
mybody.Hedoesn'tbri
ngbackwhatshesai d,he
j
ustfocusesonAphiweanddr i
nkstheirjui
ce.The
MazwakheIknowwoul d'
vespoi l
edthi
slitt
le
i
ntr
oductionpar
tyandtoldeveryonetofuckof f
.
“
Arewei
nvi
tedt
otheweddi
ng?
”Busii
swayt
oo
forward.Nobodyi
ssurei
ftheweddingi
ssti
ll
happeningandIdon'
twantthem t
ocausedr
ama
there.
“
Ever
yonei
sinvi
ted,
”hesays.
Idon'
tknowhowl
ongIcanputt
hisf
akegr
in
pl
aster
edonmyface.
“
Weneedtoleave,
”Itel
lhim andturnt
oAphiwe.I
missmybabygir
l,t
heprincessoftant
rums.
“
Doyouhavepl
ansf
ort
henextSat
urday?
”Iaskher
.
“
Nope,
”shesays,
shaki
ngherhead.
“
Good,
Iwi
llt
akeyouout
.”
“Whataboutus?”Threesexualacti
vewomenask
me.It'
sthei
rjobtotakemeout ,nott
heot
herway
around.I
'mtheyoungest.
“
Iloveyouguys,
”Iki
sst
hei
rcheeksandl
eavewi
th
myman.

Hefast
enst
heseat
bel
tandl
ooksatmewi
tha
f
rown.
“
Whatwast
hatabout
?”heasks.
“Thecarandt
hef
actt
hatyou'
reyourf
ather
'sson,
”I
say.
Hefr
ownsevenmor ebuthedoesn'
tsayanythi
ng
f
urt
her.Theyhavefi
nal
lymanagedtoembarrass
me.Nowwel ookli
keafamil
yofgol
d-di
ggers.
.
.

Todaywassupposedt obeNgcwet hiand

Zanamuhl a’
swhiteweddingday.OnSunday
morningitwould'
vebeent heancestorsmatri
mony
andtheirZulut
radit
ionalweddi
ngint heaft
ernoon.
AndthenonMondayi cecewasgoi ngtotakeplace.

Ever
yonehasgonetosleep.Thecl
ockticksexact
ly
at3:
35am.Zanamuhlawakeseveryoneup;t he
i
mpatientNkanyi
soandhersuddenl
y-t
oo-kind
mothers.
“
What
'sgoi
ngon?
”Vuyi
swaasks,
yawni
ng.
“
I'
mleavi
ng,
”shesays.
“
Leavi
ng?
”Ever
yonei
slost
.
“
I'
m get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed.Wher
eismyphone,
Vuyi
swa?
”
Thecowswerenotslaught
ered.Nomeatwassent
tot
heMt hembusandtheyhavenoideawhatis
goi
ngon.Everyoneassumedthatt
heweddingwas
cal
ledof
f.
“Butnot
hingwasdone.TheMthembusdon'teven
knowthatyou'
rest
il
lget
ti
ngmar r
iedt
othei
rson,”
Mamkhulusays.Ever
yoneisconf
used.Thi
sdoesn't
makeanysense.
“
Thewhi teweddingisn'
tregi
steredasaweddi ngat
t
heMt hembus.Theycallitacour t
'swedding,sothe
r
ealweddi ngi
sonSunday, that'
swhent hecows
wil
lbeslaught
eredandt hemot her-
in-
laws’part
s
wil
lbeexchanged,”shesays.
Vuyiswareluct
antl
yhandst hephonet
oher .She
grabsitanddial
sBusikhaya'snumber
.Itr
ingsa
coupleofti
mesbef or
eheanswer s.
“
Whoi
sthi
s?”Hedi
dn'
tevencheckt
henumber
.The
callj
ustwokehi
mfr
om adeepsl
eepandhe'
s
pissed.
“
Nowt
hebr
idecar
ri
esherownki
st?
”sheasks.
“
Zanamuhl
a?”Nowhe'
swi
deawake.
“
It
'sal
most4am andIhaven'
tbeenf
etched.
”
.
.
*
**ATTHEMTHEMBUHOMESTEAD*
**

Everyoneisgetti
ngup.Ifyoudon'
tyougetapil
low
slappedacrossyourface.Theoutsi
deli
ght
sareon,
themai nhouse’
sdooriswi del
yopenedandsome
carsarespeedingoff
.
“Yeyi
!Iwon'tst
andforthi
s!”Mndenidr
agshi
msel
f
i
nsidetheloungewhereeveryonewaswokenupt
o.
Thisi
snott hel
if
ehegotoutofMaMbonambi ’
s
wombf or.
“Shutupanddressproper
ly.Wehavet
ofet
cht
he
bri
de,”Busi
khayasays.
“
Thebri
de?”Ever
yoneisconf
used.Theweddi
ng
wascal
ledof
f,wasn'
t?AndNgcwethii
ssi
ck.
“Yes,MaNgwane…. hur
ryguys,it
'salmost
4am…someonemustgoandwakeSi yabongaup.”
Nowhecal l
shim byname,justtodisrespecthi
m.
Het hrowsinst
ructi
onsandthreateni
ngl ooksto
everyone.Theyneedtofuckin’
move!
Ther e'
snot i
me.Theywashtheirf
aces,
brushthei
r
teeth,changeint
owarm cl
othesandjumpintothe
cars.
Whentheyarr
iveattheNgwanestheli
ght
sareon,
ever
yoneisupanddownont heyard.Not
hingseem
tohavebeenplannedpr
oper
ly.
Theyannouncet heweddingatt hegat eandl eave
withthei
rbri
de.Rightnowcal l
sar ebeingmade,
favoursarebei
ngaskedandVuyi swai str
yingher
besttogetthevenuereadyfor12: 00pm.Luckily
Zanamuhlahadf it
tedherdresst hreedaysbef ore
fi
ndingoutaboutNgcwet hi
'
si nf
idel i
ty.Everyt
hingis
movingatast r
identspeed.
“
Vuyi
swacal
lMnot
hoandt
ellhi
mtoi
nvi
teKhut
hit
o
thewedding,
”Zanosaysast
heyr
eachMkhongi
'
s
homestead.
“
Whaaat?AreyoucrazyZano?”Maybeshehasl
ost
t
hemarbles.Whyonear t
hwouldshewantt
hegi
rl
t
hatsl
eptwithNgcwethiatt
hei
rweddi
ng?
“Iwanthert
her
e.”Thi
sisadi
ffer
entZanamuhl
a.
Whowoul dwantsomethi
ngl
ikethi
sonherweddi
ng
day?
Vuyiswamakest hecall.Mnothorefusesbutshe
makesi tclearthathedoesn'thaveachoice,unl
ess
i
fKhut hiwon'tbepar tofthefamil
y.Theyneedto
facetheirshitasfrom thi
sday.

It
'sj
ustafter11am andMndenii sdressedt oki
ll
.
You'dswearhei sthegroom.Onl yGodknowshow
hegotthisperfectsui
twher easever yoneis
scuff
li
ngthrought hei
rwardr obestryingtofi
nd
somethingdecentt owear.Theydi dn'tfet
chthe
suit
sbecausenobodyt ol
dthem t o.
“
Ithoughtyouweresi
ck,
”Mazwakhesays,
wal
king
i
nsideNgcwethi
'
sroom.
He'ssuddenl yabl
etost
andupandmoveswi ft
ly
aroundhisr oom.WhenBusikhayawokehim upand
tol
dhi mthatZanamuhlawasonherwayhej umped
uptohi sfeetasift
heNgcwethiwho'sbeena
potatothewhol eweekwashistwin.
“Physical
lyI'
m st i
llsi
ckbutemot i
onall
yI '
m bett
er.
Waymuchbet ter ,
”hesaysandbut tonsuphi sshir
t.
Zanamuhl awillhat ehi
mf orrui
ningtheirwedding
pict
ureswi t
hhi sdodgyj eanandshirt,
butt he
weddingcan'tst opbecauseofasui t.
“
Her
e!”Mazwakhet
hrowsasui
tcoveronhi
sbed.
He'
sconf
used.Howdi
dhegeti
t?Atwhatt
ime?
“Dressupbefor
eshechangeshermi nd,
”Mazwakhe
saysandsitsonthebed.Itfeelsawkwardt
hatthis
i
st hesamebedhi ssist
ersleepsonwithaman, but
i
fhecansi tonBusikhaya'
sbed, whynotNgcwethi'
s?
Hopefull
ytheydon’tl
eavetheirunder
wearl
ying
around.Gosh,t
hatwouldbet raumati
c.
“
HowdoIl
ook?
”Ngcwet
hiasks.
Hef
rowns.WTF!
“
Don'
tyouhaveami
rr
or?
”heasks.
“
You'
remymi
rr
or.HowdoIl
ook?
”Ngcwet
hii
nsi
sts.
“Youl ookbeaut
ifulman.Il
oveyourhai r
.Wheredi
d
yougett hatwat
ch?I ti
stodie-
for,
”hest eal
s
Vuyiswa'sgeneralcompli
mentst ootherwomen
andt heybothbreakint
oaf i
toflaughter.
“Thanksmanfort
his.Iappr
eci
ateit
,”Ngcwet
hi
says,l
ooki
ngathi
sper f
ectr
efl
ecti
ononemor et
ime.
Thi
swasMazwakhe'
s:‘
I'
m yourbrot
hert
ooandI
’
m
sor
ryi
fIr
esent
edandnegl
ectedyou.
’
.
.
Finall
ythey'r
eher e.Nobodyknewandnobody
could'
vepr edi
ctedt hi
ngstur
ningoutt
hisway.But
they’
reallgratef
ul,thi
ngscould'
vegot
tenworsefor
Ngcwet hi
.
Eventhoughhe’
ssti
llweak,t
hegr eysui
tmakeshim
l
ookgood.Hestandsnervouslynexttohisbrot
her
s.
Sherefusedt
oseehim befor
et hewedding.He
knowsbet t
erthantopushher,t
hismaybenothow
hewant edhisweddingtobe;t
hetensemoodand
fl
oatingunr esol
vedissues,
buthe'
sgett
ingmarri
ed
tothel oveofhisli
feandthatmatt
ersmorethan
anything.

Themer maidwhi tegownhugsherbodyal ltheway

down.Herbumpi sbiggerandshe' sglowing
regardlessofwhatshe' sbeent hroughthepastf ew
dayst hatfel
tlikethelongestdaysofherl i
fe.Her
eyesar egluedonNgcwet hiwho' swalki
ngt owards
herandMazwakhewi t
haner vousl ookonhi sface.
There'sascr apingofchairsast heelder
sgetupf or
thestandingovat i
on.
Aft
ertaki
ngadeepbr eat
hMazwakhehugshis
si
sterandputsherhandonNgcwethi
’
s.Thenthey
sharealookandshakehands.
“I
'
m notscaredofyou,
”hetel
lshim bef
orel
ett
inggo
ofhishand.Astr
angewayofwi shi
ngyourhal
f-
brot
herwho'sget
tingmar
ri
edt hebestofl
uck!
Theyshareanint
ensel
ook.There'
ssomuchtosay,
somuchangerbottl
edup,butnothi
nghaschanged
i
ntheirhear
ts.
“
Thankyouf
orcomi
ng.Il
oveyouZanamuhl
a.”
Shesqueezeshi
shand.
“
Iloveyout
oo,
”shesays.
Adeepsi ghofrel
ief….well
,takent oosoon,look
who’ssitt
ingovertherenextt oNt obeandVuyiswa
i
nat ealbodycondr ess.Shel ooksveryyoung,
somethinghedidn'tcaretonot icethatday.His
pal
msst artsweati
ng.Whati fZanamuhl astopsthe
weddingwhensheseesherher e?Hisbreathishel
d
upinhisthroat
.
[
11/
19,
10:
00] :Ngcwet
hiHerWar
ri
or

Chapt
erFor
tyNi
ne

Zanamuhl
a
Idon'tseemyNgcwet hiinfr
ontofme, t
heseer
who'sal waysrightandont opoft hings.Not
knowi ngwhyever ythingchangedsosuddenl y,why
Idecidedtoshowupi ntheearlyhour sofmor ni
ng
andgetever yoner unningaroundlikeheadless
chickens,baffl
eshi m.Itunsett
leshim andHER
presenceaf f
ectshi m evenmore.
Ihavesai dmyvows, what everthepastorsaidI
repeatedaf terhim andt henslippedar i
ngonhi s
fi
nger .Yes, I'
m marryinghim becauseahugepar t
ofmel oveshi m andIdon' tthi
nkI '
dbeabl et
olove
someoneel se.Buttodaywasn' tsupposedt o
happen.Theweddi ngwasgoi ngt ohappen
somewher einthefuturewhenIhaveheal edand
wrappedmyheadar oundt hef actthathe'
scapable
ofleavi ngmeathomeandt raveltoanother
provincej usttosmashadi f
ferentpu$$y.Butit
woul d'vecomeatapr i
ce;apr i
cet hatneit
hermeor
him wer egoingtopay, butthechi l
dSHEi scarryi
ng.
Iwasn' tgoingt oletMnot hosuf f
eragain.He'sgone
throughsomuchandhehasal readylostsomeone
whomeantt heworldtohi m.
Becausethi
smanisst i
llwipi
nghissweaty
for
ehead,l
etmefil
lyoui nbri
efl
yaboutwhatwent
downafterNgcwet
hiturnedtwenty-
four
….

Hewasdone.Wi t
ht heancest ors,hi sgi ft,
hel pi
ng
peopleandal lthatshi t.Hewasl eavingi tallbehind
becausehewant edt oliveanor mall ife.Andt hat'
s
hisnature,hethinkswhent heancest or sdon' t
channelt hi
ngst hewayhewant she' sj ustgoi ngto
say;“I'
m done”andbedone.I twasj ustaf ewdays
afterhisbir
thday, i
nt heweehour sofmor ning,
whensomet hingext raor di
nar yhappenedt ohi m.He
wokeupwi thhisbr iefsar oundhi sankl es, his
manhoodhar dasar ockandhi smemor yf lashing
withvividpict
uresoft hesexualoccur rencehehad
withanani mal.Orwasi tabi zarref emal ebei ng
withamal f
ormedf ace?What everi twas, i
twas
scaryandi thadi tswaywi t
hhi mt hewhol eni ght.
Thosewhoprotecthim hadlef
thi
m.Thesameway
hegaveupont hem,theygaveuponhim andt
he
wholef
amil
y.Youscr atchmybackandIscrat
ch
your
s-appl
ieseverywhere.
Hewasst ri
ppedof fhi
smanhood.He' dnever
engagesexual l
ywi tharandom woman;t hat
's
alwaysbeenhi swor d.Letal
oneacr eat
urethatmay
havecomef rom adiff
erentworl
d!Itbecamehar dto
evencl osehiseyesandbei nthesamebedr oom.A
weekl aterhedisappearedandlef
tnosi ngl
etrace
behind.
InEsicabazini,
atKwaMhl abuyali
ngana, iswher ehis
journeyended.I tendedwi t
hhim beinggr abbedby
amant hatwasn' tveryclearinmyl astni ght's
dream.Butt hatper i
odofsel fevaluati
on, accept i
ng
dependencyandpayi ngupf orthemi stakescost
him mor ethanjustt hreemont hsofhi slife.His
youngbr otherlosthisvirginit
ytothesamest range
creatur
et hathadvi sit
edhi m befor
ehel eftthe
vil
lage.
Inthosethreemont hsthathewasaway, goi
ngto
sleepwasat raumaMnot hocouldn'
topenupt o
anyoneabout .He'dkeepthelight
son, dri
nkenergy
drinksandsachet sj
ustsohecanst ayawake.But
somewher eint hemiddleofthenighthisbody
woul dgi
veint otheneedofrestandt hatwouldbe
openi
ngfort
hat“
scar
yfemal
ecr
eat
ure”t
ohavei
ts
waywithhi
m.
WhenNgcwet hicamebackt ohi ssenses, accept ed
thathi swell-
bei ngdependedonhi sgi ftandthose
aroundhi m,hehadt otakeal ongwal kt oThukel a
ri
verwher ehehadbeenshownt heor iginalsof“ the
strangecr eatur e.”Whathef oundt her ecould've
beent r
aumat ic, onlyi fhewasal one,buthewas
witht hosewhopr otecthim.I nthatf i
ghthewont he
round, therewasn' tgoi ngtobeanymor enightvi sits,
buthi svictorycamewi thal oss.Onl yMnot hoi n
thi
sf ami l
ywi llgi vebi rt
htoachi l
dwi tht hesame
giftandi t'
l
lbehi sonl ychi l
d.Ngcwet higoi ngt ot hat
girl
,fuckin’spr eadi nghi sseedsi nsideherand
l
eavi ngherf orMnot hot ocar r
yonwasn' tf
ort he
curser emoval .Wi thoutknowi ngI t,Khut hiwas
strengthenedt ocar r
yMnot ho’soneandonl y
speci alchil
d.Itwasnevergoi ngt obeKhwezi , she
wasl ovedbutshewasnott heone.Shewoul dn't
havebeenf i
tenought ocarrywhatKhut hiis
carrying.Andt hischi ldKhut hiiscar ryingisthe
Ngcwet hiofthenextMt hembugener ation.
Thepr
otect
orofourchi
ldr
en.
Iwouldn'thaveconsider
eddoingthisifi
twasn'tf
or
thatgranny,Nomalanga,whowast oojol
lyaft
er
j
oiningthefamil
yanddeci dedtovisi
tmei nmy
dreams.

Helooksfr
ail;those“creatur
e”nightmaresmight'
ve
comeback.NowIknowwhatt hey'r
eabout,Iknow
whysometimesheki cksandscr eamsatnight.Pit
y,
someonelikehi m wouldneveragreetocounselli
ng
becausewhat evershithappensinhisli
feisforhim
andhisancest or
s.
Leavinghim wasn'tanoptionanymor e,
whoknows
whatwoul d'
vehappenedt hist i
mei fheattempted
torej
ectwhohei sonceagai n.Idon'twanttoraise
thi
sbabyal oneandt hel
astt hingIwanti sfor
Mnot hotolosehisonlychildbecauseoft heir
“st
upidit
y.”Idon'
tknowhowI '
lll
ookatKhut hiand
notthinkaboutherspreadingherl egsformy
husband.Butt hi
sisthefami lyIchosetomar ryto
andsacr i
fi
ceshavet obemade…. Ohsnap, he's
r
eadywi
tht
her
ing.I
t'
sti
mef
orhi
svows!

“ZanamuhlaNgwane, ”hesaysandf l
ashesaweak,
nervoussmile.Yes,
heshoul dbenervous,thatl
it
tl
e
storyIj
usttoldyoudoesn'tchangethefactthatI
'm
goingtoteachhim alessonhe'l
lneverf
orget.
“Thi
sringisasymbolofmyloveforyouandit
embodiesmypr omi
sethatwhereverImaygo,
Iwi
ll
alwaysret
urnhometoyousti
llpureasyour
husband.”
Myeyebr
owcocksup.Imean,
hel
lo!
Hegr
imacesi
npai
nandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“Thankyouf orlookingbeyondmyi mper f
ections.
Thepastt wodayshavebeent hehar destdaysof
myl i
fe.Livingwi t
houtyoui sonepai nfulexperience
Idon'twisht oevergot hr
oughagai n.You'rethe
essenceofwhoIam.You' remysoul ,myhear tina
humanf or m, myr easonforwakingupever ydayand
l
ookingf orwar dtothenextday.Ir ememberwhen
youwer ejustagi rlIlookedatwithoutasi ngle
thoughtrunni ngthroughmymi nd;beforetheday
youshout edatmeandr efusedmyf ood.ButnowI
can'
tevenpr onounceyournamewi thoutan
abundanceofsent i
mentat t
achedtoeachl etter.I
cannotgot hroughasi nglehourwi thoutthi
nki ng
aboutyou, everylovethatIhadi nthiswor l
dwentt o
youafterthatdayandI '
l
lneverl ovesomeoneel se.
Theonlyt hingbettert
hanhavi ngyouasmywi fei s
mychildrenhavi ngyouasamom.Zol wandle, even
i
fdeathdoesusapar t
,Iwantyout ohol dhi
gh
memor iesofusandt hat'swhyf rom thi
sdaygoi ng
for
wardI '
m goi ngtobet hebesthusbandt oyou. ”
Damn!Whyam Icr yi
ng?Ican'
tl etonestupi
d
deci
sionrui
nwhatwe'vebeent hrough.Ourgood
andbadtimesthatgotusheretoday.Thisisour
weddingday,t
hedaywe'regoingt oholdontofor
ther
estofourli
ves.
.
.
Nont
obeko

Aweddi
ngt
hatt
akesawhol
ethr
eedays!Whycan'
t
theybenormal ?I'
veranoutofthingst owear.I
don'tevenknowwhoi swhoandt hemant hat
broughtmeher ehasbeenf ocusedonhi sbrother
's
weddingandf orgotaboutme.Atl eastMshibeis
heretomakemef eelali
ttl
ebitofnor mal
cy.
“Ma,canIwat
chMasha?”That'
sSango.Shecan
seehowcrowdedt
hispl
aceis.Idon'
tevenknow
wherether
emotei
s.
“
Babywhydon'
tyougoplayout
side?We'llwat
cha
movi
etoget
her
,lat
eronmylapt
op,”Iask.
She'
snoti
mpr
essedwi
tht
hissuggest
ion.
“
Andwe'
l
lhavei
ce-
cream anddoughnut
s,”Iadd.
Nowshe' ssmil
ingwithherhandsoverhercheeks.
Busikhayareal
lymakesbeauti
fulgi
rl
s,Ican'
tsit
nexttoherandnotkisshercheek.
“Okayrunrun!”Icl
apmyhands,shetakesoffand
herpaceincreasesasIcl
aphar
der.Kidsar
ej ust
tooadorabl
e.
“
Ma?
”Someoneasksbehi
ndme.
It
urnar
oundandmyf
rowni
sdi
sper
sedbyadr
y
chest.Idon'tknowwhyI'
m scar
edofher ,
Ijustfeel
abitshyar oundherandt
hefactthatBusikhaya
hasn'
tintroducedmemakest hi
sevenmor e
awkwar d.
“Iknewit
.You'
ret
her
easonwhymysonwal ks
aroundli
keheownst
heplanet
?”Iguessthe
questi
oncomesfr
om agoodplacebecauseshe'
s
smili
ng.
“
Ummmm…. ”Ireal
lydon'
tknowwhattosay.Ican'
t
i
ntr
oducemysel
f,i
t'
sBusikhaya’
sdut
y.
“
Rel
ax.Di
dhet
ellyout
oti
eyourheadl
iket
his?
”
Oh,
thescar
f!
“
Notr
eal
ly,
”Isay.
“I
'
m MaMbonambi,hi
smother.Isee,
he'
sst
il
lmad
atmeandtooembarr
assedtointr
oducemetohi
s
peopl
eashismot
her.
”
“What'
sthedramaf orMrsMthembu?”It
'shim
walki
ngthroughthebackdoor.Webothturntohi
m
andhewalksstraightt
omeandplantsapeckon
myl i
ps.
“Howlongwer
eyougoi
ngt
ohi
deher
?”sheasks
him.
“
She'
sher
e,howam Ihi
dingher?MaMbonambi ,
t
hisi
sNont
obekoMaseko,yourdaught
er-
in-
law.
”
“
Daught
er-
in-
law?
”shenar
rowshereyes.
“Didn'tSiyabongat ellyou?Nextmont hwe'r
egoing
totheMasekos.Thi swomanher ehasagreedto
helpmemoveoutofyourhome, ”hesaysandpecks
thesideofmyf ace.I'm asuckerofaf f
ecti
on,but
thi
si sjusttooawkwar d.Hismot hermayhavehad
arichhusbandandhavet hi
sgigantichomestead
andcar s, butshe'sstil
lar uralmotherandyouknow
howt heyunder st
andt hewor d‘r
espect’i
nthei
rown
ter
ms.
“
ThankGod.Icannotwai
t!
”
Ifai
ltoholdmysel
fandlaugh.I
sBusi
khayathat
annoyingasasonthatshecanhar
dlywaitf
orhim
tomoveout ?
“Metoo.You'l
lst
ayherewi
thyourson,
Mazwakhe,
andhiswif
e,”hesaysandsmir
ks.
“I'
m sureshe'
llbeamazingasthi
sone.”Shepicks
somet hi
ngfrom thecupboar
dandwalksout.All
thi
st i
meBusi khayai
slaughi
ngatasecretj
oke.
“
What
'sf
unny?
”Iask.
“
She'
l
lbest
ayi
ngwi
thVuyi
swa.
”
Whatadr
yjoke!
“
What
'sf
unnyaboutt
hat
?”Iask.
“MaMbonambideser vestoli
vewi t
hsomeonel
ike
her.She'l
lturnherl
if
eupsidedownandmaybe
she'l
lteachhernewwaysofl i
vingherl
if
e
wit
hout ….”Heclear
shi st
hroatandaskswho
hel
pedmet i
ethescarfar
oundmyheadso
beauti
full
y.IwonderwhatMaMbonambidi dt
hat
annoyshi m somuch.
“
Aret
heydoneout
side?
”Iask.
“Yeap,
nowit
’sj
ustt
hem al
onewi
thMkhul
u
Khumalo.
”
“
Thesangomat
hatwasher
eear
li
er?
”Iask.
“
Yes.
”Henodshi
shead.
Thatol
dmani
swei
rd,
andsoi
sNgcwet
hi.
“Whydi dhescareKhut hiwi t
ht hattailofhi
s?”Iask.
I'
m surethepoorgirli
sst i
lltraumat i
zedwher eshe
i
s.Firstofal
l,
she'sneverbeeni ntheZul ul
and
beforeandshecannothearuswhenwespeak,
unlessifweuseEngl i
sh.Andt henacr eepyman
wasbr ushi
nganox' stailalloverher .Sheprobably
thi
nkseveryonethissidei scr eepy,Imeani t'
sbeen
dramaaf t
erdrama.
“
Idon'
tknow.Maybehewaswelcominghert
othe
f
amil
y.Howdoyouf i
ndher
?”heasks.
“
She'
sayoung,
goodgi
rl
.Il
ikeher
,”Isay.
“
AndVuyi
swa?
”
“
Crazy,
butIl
ikeher
.”
“
Zanamuhl
a?”
Oh,
wel
l.Thatone.
“She'
sunpredi
ctabl
e.Idon'
tknowi
fit
'st
he
pregnancyorhernat
ure.
”
Henodshisheadslowl
y.Ihopet
hisdoesn'
tgi
ve
hi
m anot
herpict
ureofme.Ofcour
se,I
'dnever
j
udgehisfamil
y,I'
veneverl
ivedadayin
Zanamuhla’
sli
feandIdon'tknowwhatmakesher
cl
ockti
ck.Andbesides,wehaven'
treal
lyspent
muchti
met ogetherf
ormet ofi
gur
eherout .
“Let'
sgohidesomewhere,Ihaven'
tbeenablet
o
spendtimewithyoueversincethi
swedding
began.”Hewrapshisarm aroundmywaistand
kissesthesi
deofmycheek.
“
Didyoumi
ssme?
”Iask.
“Imi
ssedmyself
.Youknowthatyou'
reme,
right?
Andbeingawayfr
om youi
sli
keleavi
ngawhol eme
somewhereel
se.
”
“
OkayMrMe,
let
'sgo.
”
.
.
Khut
hi

Ikeepaski
ngmyself;whatam Idoingher
e?Yes,he
hasexplai
nedsomet hi
ngs,whichIcan'
tsaymade
anysense,butIr
eal
lydon'tunder
standanyt
hing.
Buyingt hegoat s?Goi ngtothatsit
eout si
dethe
homest ead?Hi sbr other'
swifeleavingbecauseof
me?Wel l,
Idounder standthatpartandIreall
yfel
t
sorryforher .Buttheirri
tual
s,tr
aditionsandatt
it
ude
towardseachot her!Wher eam I?It'
slikeI
'mina
dif
ferentwor ldwher eeverythi
nghappensi nasplit
second, beforeyoucanevenr egisterwhat'
sgoing
onthere'ssomet hi
ngel sehappening.

Hewal ksi
nasIat t
empttocl
osemyeyesonbed.
It
'sbeenthecrazi
estsi
xdaysofmylif
e.WhenIsee
him Isi
tup,wehavealottot
alkabout
.Healso
needstotel
lmewhenam Igoingbackt o
Johannesburg.
“Sthandwa, ”hesaysandl eansoverandki ssesmy
forehead.Somet i
mesIhavet opi nchmysel ftofeel
i
fthisi sreall
yme.Imean, whywoul dsomeonel ike
himf alli
nl ovewi
thmeknowi ngexactlythekindof
l
ifeIlive?I'
vehadmybr eathhel dup,thinki
nghe' l
l
changehi smi ndorI'l
lfi
ndoutt hathehassomeone
whodeser veshim andhewasj ustfoolingaround
withme.Butt heguyreall
yl ovesmeandi tscares
t
hef
uckoutofme.
“
Mnot
howhenam Il
eavi
ng?
”Iask.
He'
stakinghi
sT-shi
rtof
f,whenIaskt
hequest
ion
hepauseswit
hitoverhi
sshoulder
s.
“Leavi
ngtowhere?”Idon'
tknowifhe'
stryi
ngto
crackajokeorwhat?Whatkindofquest
ionist
his?
“
Idon'
tli
veher
eMnot
ho,
”Isay.
“
Youdonow,
”hesays.
MaybeI
’
m notmaki
ngmysel
fcl
earher
e.
“
Mnot
howhenam Igoi
ngbackt
omyl
if
e?”
“
Whatl
if
e?”
Owkaaaay.Sl
owl
y,Khut
hi!
“Pleasebookmyt icketf
orThursdayeveni ng.”IfI
stayhereanotherweekI '
l
lgocr azy.I'
m al
sonot
readytobeconf r
ontedbyt hatwoman.Idi dn'teven
knowwhot hemanwasandIdi dn'tknowhehada
pregnantwifeathome.Ionl ywentt othehotelfor
money.
Hecl
imbsonbedandput
shi
sar
m undermyneck.
Thel
oudexhal
ati
onunsettl
esme.Heneedst
obook
myfl
ight
,what
'sexhaust
ingaboutt
hat
?
“Idon'
twantt
ofreakyouout,
”hesaysandIfr
eak
outri
ghtaway.Whathashappenedagai
n?!
“
Youcangoback,onl
yforaf
ewweeks.Towrap
t
hingsupt
hatsi
deandmaybecont
actyouraunt
.”
“
Areyoutel
li
ngmehowtol
ivemyl
if
enow,
Mnot
ho?”Iaski
nawe.
“
You'
repr
egnantKhut
hi.
”
Whaaat
?That
'snott
rue.I
tcan'
tbe!
“
Don'
tfr
eakout
.Idi
dn'
tdoi
tonpur
pose.
”
He'
sser
ious.JesusChr
ist
!
“Howdoyouknow? ”Mywholebodyisshaki
ng.I
cannotaff
ordtohaveababy,
letal
onewithaZul
u
guyfrom abi
gdodgyfamil
ythatI'
veonl
yknownfor
amont h.
“
Mkhul
uKhumal
otol
dme,
”hesays.
Iassumeit
'st
hatoldmanwhowaschasi
ngme
wit
hawildani
mal’ssmel
lyt
ail
.
“ThatdayI …I
…youand…”Hesqueezesmyshoul der
andreleasesadeepbr eath.WhathaveIgott
en
myselfinto?Ihadaninjectionamonthbefor
ethat.
Whathappened?Howdi di tnotwor
k?
“I
t'
smine.Ngcwethicanonlyhavechildr
enwi t
h
Zanamuhla.I
'mreal
lysorryaboutt
his.Ididn'
tmean
tocompli
cateyourl
ifel
ikethi
s.”
Itdoesn'tmatt
er.Mylif
ei scomplicated.Idon'
teven
knowhowI ’
m goingtosayt hist
omyexcuseofa
family.Andhowam Igoi ngt oco-
par entachil
dwith
someonewhoi sinadifferentpr
ovince?Gosh, j
ust
thethoughtofcarryi
ngahumanbei nginsi
deme
scaresme.

There'
saknock.Hedeepl
ykissesmeandwi
pesmy
tear
sbefor
easkingwhoiti
s.
“
UNgcwet
hi,
vul
a,”t
hevoi
cesays.
Whyi
sheher
e?Idon'
twantt
oseenei
therhi
m nor
hi
swi
fe.
“
Ngi
yeza,
”Mnot
hosays.
Helooksatmeandgivesmeabr i
efsmil
e.I
fitwas
meanttogivemesomesortofcomfor
t,wel
litdi
dn'
t
wor
k.
Heopenst hedoorandwhenhewal ksinhe'snot
alone.He'
swi t
hher.She'
sweari
ngar edcl
oak
mat chi
ngthedoekonherhandandf r
eshgoatski
n
wr i
st-
bangl
eslini
ngupherlef
thand.Herdiamond
rockisgorgeous!
!!
“Ihopewe' renotdi
stur
binganything,
”shesaysand
l
ooksar ound.Whenshedoesn' tseewhatshe's
l
ookingf orshewalkstothebedandsi ts.Myhear
t
i
saboutt oleapoutofmythroat.Ihat
e
confront
at i
ons.
“Notreall
y,
”Mnot hosaysandr emainsstanding
nexttohisbrotherwhohasn'tlookedatmyf ace
dir
ectl
ysinceIgothere.Iknowher esent
sme.My
arr
ivalherenearl
ycosthim hiswife.
“
Hel
lo,
”shesaysandl
ooksatme.
Iclearmyt
hroatf
oranunnecessarynumberof
ti
mesandnodmyhead.Ir eal
lydon'tt
rustmyvoi
ce
atthemoment.
“
Howol
dar
eyou?
”
Myage?Wher
e'st
hisgoi
ng?
“
21,
”Isay.
“Ngcwethi
!”Hert
oneisn'
tfri
endl
y.She'
sglari
ngat
him asi
fmyagewor sensthecurr
entsi
tuati
onin
someway.
Hepopshisfingerj
oint
sandlooksather
.He'snot
l
ookingatherbecausehewantstobutbecausehe
doesn'
thavemuchofachoice.
“Areweevergoi
ngt
odealwi
tht
hisshi
tagai
n?”she
asks.
“
No,
”theybot
hsay.
“Good!BecauseI'
m notstayi
ngifsomet hi
ngli
ke
thi
shappensagai n.I
'
m notstayi
ngNgcwet hi,
you'l
l
diei
fyoudie.”Herfaceveri
fi
esherwor ds.She
meanswhatshe' ssayingandhe'sshakinginhis
boots.
“Thankyou.From nowon,Iwi
llr
uneveryt
hingpast
youandwe'llmakedecisi
onst
ogether
.Ipromise.
”
He'
sreal
lydi
ff
erentwi
thher
.However
,itdoesn'
t
eraset
hepi ct
ureofhimthatIalr
eadyhave.Iwasn'
t
l
ookingforromanceoranything,i
twasstri
ctl
y
aboutthemoney,butwow!Thi smantreat
edmel i
ke
tr
ashasi fIwasforci
nghimtodowhathedi d.
“
Nomor
esecr
ets?
”sheasks.
“
Yesbabe,
Ipr
omi
se.
”
Shet
urnsherf
acet
oMnot
ho.
“
Nosecr
etsZano,
rel
ax,
”hesays.
Shetakesadeepbreat
handl ooksatme.Thi
stime
herexpressi
oni
sn'
tdeadl
y,somethingel
seisgoing
on.
“Whatarethesesi
tesbeingpreparedbytr
act
ors
aroundhere?What'
sgoingon?Ngcwet hiwhenare
wemovi ngtoourhouseintown? ”
Theylookateachot
her
.Lor
d,whathavet
heydone
agai
n?
[
11/
19,
10:
01] :Ngcwet
hiHerWar
ri
or

Chapt
erFi
ft
y
Zanamuhl
a

It
'sbeenf i
veyear ssinceIt i
edmyl if
et ot hisman.I
can’tsayt hingshavebeensmoot h,buti fyoucan't
changel i
feyouadj usttoit.Al othaschanged,
exceptt hef actthatMndenii sst i
llunmar r
iedand
fuckingar ound.Vuyi swaist henewestbr i
deinthe
family,shej ustgotmar ri
edt womont hsagoand
she'samot herofhandsomet winboys, Mnqobiand
Ngcebo.It hinkthey'r
etwoyear sandahal fnow.
They'reat wo- in-
onebundl eoft rouble.Mazwakhe
remai nedwi t
hMaMbonambiatt heMt hembumai n
homest eadwhi l
eotherbrother smovedoutand
buil
tt heirownhouses.Mndenil i
vesanywher ehe
l
ikes.Hecal lshimselfa‘freelancertenant .’

Nontobekomar ri
edsi
xmont hsaft
ermeandKhut hi
fol
lowedherafterayear
.Itwould'
vebeensoonerif
thi
ngswentt hewayMnot howantedbutheraunt
putherfootdown.Alothappenedaroundher
weddi
ngprocess,
shewast
hehardestbr
idet
oget.
Butt
heywerewill
ingt
odoj
ustanyt
hingt
obring
Mphil
isi
'
smotherhome.

Aboutmyt ownhouse, itwasboughtbutweonl ygo

ther etoescapet hevi llageforaf ewdays.Al lofus
l
iveher eint hevillage, i
ncludingNt obe, wearejusta
fewyar dsapar t.Qophel oisnowgr ownandhi s
behavi ourhasst ar t
edt ochangeovert heyears.He
l
iveswi thMazwakhemostoft het i
mesbecause
he'sst il
ltryingtomakeupf ort heyear shewasn' ti
n
hisl i
feandhel et shi m getawaywi thever ythi
ng.
Busi khayai sstillBusi khaya,thebel tpl aysit
sr ole
whenheget soutofhand.Hi m andNt obearest il
l
tryingf orasecondchi ld,Mazi si di
dn' tturnoutt obe
Nt obe’sever ydaydr eam ofagi rlchild, butshe'sstil
l
abestmot heranychi ldcoul daskf or.She' s
obsessedwi thgi r
lsandt hathaswor kedwel l
on
Sango’ sf avour.Shehasever yonewr appedar ound
herf inger.
Thent here'
sme, awomanwhosemout hisalways
widelyopenandshout ing.NowIj ustsay;“Yeyi
wena! ”whenevert here'sanoi seIdon' tunderstand
andhe' dendi timmedi ately.Thischildisshowi ng
mef lames.Notonl ydidhedeci detobebor natt he
parkinglot,he'
sst i
llturni
ngmyl i
feupsidedown
event oday.Iwasst i
llt
hreeweeksawayandal lI
fel
twasashar ppaini nmyabdomen.Af ewst eps
awayf rom thecarIf eltsomet hi
ngshifti
ngandI
couldn'twalkanymor e.Thatwasi t,t
wof emale
securityguardshel pedmepusht heheadoutand
thatwasMaf u'sdramat icar r
ival.
“Where'
sPaki ?”That '
sMazwakhewal ki
ngin.Ihave
madepeacewi ththisname.Idon' tknowwhat
makeshimt hi
nki t
’sokayt ocallmychildaft
erhi s
placeofbi
r t
h.Hewasal sobornoutsidethekraal,
who'scall
inghi m Sibayeni?Whatwor ri
esmeeven
mor ei
sthef actthatever yonecal
lsmysonbyt hi
s
name.Atschool ,inthevi ll
age,
hereathomeandat
thefar
m.I'mt heonl yonewhocal l
shim Mafu, and
Ngcwethitooi fI
'm around.
“
He'
sinhi
sroom,
”Isay.
“
Qophel
oist
aki
ngt
hem out
.Gethi
mready.
”
“Qophelo?Wher
ei shetakingthem? ”Thatchil
dis
tooscandal
ous,Idon'
ttrustanythi
ngassoci at
ed
withhi
m.Teenagehoodr eall
ychangeski ds.I'
m not
readyformyMaf utoreachthatstage,I'
l
lprobably
gocrazy.
“
Yes,
they'
rej
ustgoi
ngt
othesuper
mar
ket
,”hesays.
“
Howar
etheygoi
ngt
her
e?”
“
Igavehi
m mycar
.”
OhJesusChr
ist
,havemer
cy!
“You'
regi
vinghim yourcaragai
n?Hedoesn'
teven
havethel
icence,
”Iask.
“Heknowshowt
odr
iveHl
ahl
a.Wher
e'syour
husband?
”
Igiveup!WhyisBusikhayanotshowingupand
putti
nganendtothi
snonsense.Qophel owi
lldri
ve
aroundthewholevi
ll
agewi t
hthekidsandli
ftsgi
rls
i
nside.
“
He'
swat
chi
ngsomest
upi
dsoccergame,
”Isay.
“Super
sportUni
tedandCel
ti
c?I
thasst
art
ed
alr
eady?”
Idon’tknowandIdon' thaveti
metowatcholdmen
runningaft
erabal l
.Therearesomanyinter
est
ing
thi
ngst owatch,l
ikeTheRealHousewivesOf
Atlanta.Whycan'
tmenbenor mal
?
Igethi snephewr eady.Spendingti
mewi t
ht hebig
brother,Qophelo,meanst hatt
hey'l
ldoanything
theylikeandshoutashi ghastheywantwhen
havingadecentconver sat
ionwitheachother.He'
s
wayt ooexcited,hekeepst el
li
ngmet ohurryup.
“Paki!
”ThatwouldbeMndeniarri
ving.Iguess
they'
reallwatchi
ngthi
smatchhereandt hey'
llbe
requesti
ngfoodanddrinksf
rom me.Ineedt omiss
oneoft hewivesandpayavisi
t.
“Babaaa!”Herunsoffwithhi
soneshoeunt ied.This
i
smyever ydayl
ife;
Ihavetofoll
owbehi ndhi m and
begt oti
ethatshoebecauseifhef al
lsi
t'
llhurtme
aswel l
.Thismotherhoodthi
ngchangesyourwhol e
l
ife.SomedaysIbegahumanbei ngtoeatsot hat
hewon' tgotobedhungry.He'drefuseandI '
dst ar
t
promisi
nghim ever
ytoyther
e'sonearth.Event
ual
ly
he'ddomeahugef avourandeat(forhisown
stomach)andI'
dbeobligedtokeepmypr omises.

Hisfat
herstil
ldoeswhathedoes.Hest illl
eaves,
goesaroundthecount r
yhel pi
ngpeopleand
sometimesget t
inghisnightmar es.Buthe'sstood
byhisvowsandhe' sthebesthusbandIcoul d'
ve
everaskedfor.Unf or
tunatel
y,hehadt oswal l
owhis
shameandgetcl osetoKhut hibecauseonl yhimin
thi
sfamilyunder st
andsMphi l
isi
.Him and
Mazwakhear eal soinagr eatplaceri
ghtnow.Thei r
rel
ati
onshipimpr ovedafterwegotmar r
ied.
Ihaveaccept edthathe'snotj ustmyhusband, he's
alsomar ri
edtotheancest orsandhe' sobligedto
foll
owhi sdreams, whereverthey'releadinghim.
Overtheyear sIalsostartedget t
ingclari
ficati
on
dreamsandwheneverhe' sdoinghi srit
ualsIhave
topartakeinthem.Theonl ythingbet t
erthan
havinghim asmyhusbandi sMaf uhavinghi m asa
father
.Hel oveshissont odeat h.
Speaki
ngaboutt
hedevi
l,
her
ehecomes.
“Wher
eisPaki?
”heal
waysasksabouthi
sson
bef
orenot
ici
nghiswi
fe.
“Whoi
sthat
?”Heknowst
hatwecal
lhi
m byhi
s
nameher
e.
Hegr
insandwal
kst
ome.
“
Mywi f
e!”Heengul
fsmei
nat
ighthugandki
sses
myl
ips.
“He'sgonewithQophel
otot
heshops,
”IsayasI
breakfrom hi
shug.
“Thi
soneal waysl
eaveshi
sfat
heral
one.I
t'
st i
me
wemakeanewone, maybeali
tt
legi
rlwho'
llbe
beauti
full
ikeyou.
”
“Soundsconvi
nci
ngbutIt
hinkKhunej
ustscor
eda
goal.
”
“Khune?
”Heburstsi
ntolaught
erandpul
lsmei
nto
hisarmsagai
n.I
'mreal
lynottr
yingt
omakeababy
i
nt hi
sheat
.
.
.
Vuyi
swa

Thet wi
nsar ealmostt hreenow.They' r
ethebest
giftMazwakhehasevergi venmebesi dethe
Mi chaelKorsbagheboughtf ormel astweek.When
IfirstheardthatIwasgoi ngt omarryt othisfamil
y,
stayi nthevil
lagef ortherestofmyl if
eandr emain
i
nt hemai nhomest eadwi thMaMbonambiwher eas
ever yonemovesoutt ot
hei rownhouses, Inear
ly
l
ef t.Shedidn'tl
ikemebef or et het
wi nsand
Mazwakheknewt hat.Ididn'tunderst andwhyhe
woul dputmei nasi tuat
ionl ikethat.Hi swords
wer e;“You'
llbothlear nt
ol ikeeachot her.
”
Thefir
styearswerebad.MaMbonambiwant edto
changeme.Shewant edmet obeanotherversionof
herbelovedNont
obekoandZanamuhl a.Thesame
wayImadei tcl
eartoMazwakhet hatIwasn't
changi
ngwhoIam f oranyone,Imadeitcl
eartoher
aswell.Whenthetwinsarr
ivedsheacceptedthatI
wasn'tgoi
nganywher
e.Andshe' sthebest
grandmothert
ohavearound,exceptthatshethi
nks
they'
reherki
dsandcontr
olshowImot herthem.
Oh, Si
yabongai soffici
all
yherhusband.Busi khaya
foughtwitheverythinghehadbutt hefinal
ly
decisionwasmadet hathewast akingoverhis
brother'
sroleinMaMbonambiasoft hecult
ure.But
they'r
enotwel comedt obelovey-
doveyher e
becauseof“ umuzikababat hi
s,umuzikababat hat.
”
Theydowhat evertheydoi nSiyabonga’shouse.At
l
eastIdon’ tdealwithasal t
ymot her-i
n-l
aw.
Oh,Mamkhul upassedonayearago.MHSRI P.
Mazwakhegothi sNgwanebr othersjobsinthe
far
m andwevi si
ttheNgwanesf r
om timetotime.
Evenaftereveryt
hingthathappenedbet weenhim
andthatfamilyhestil
lholdsthem inhighregard
becausetheyraisedhim andMl ungisitr
eatedhi
m
ashissonunt i
l t
helastday.
Khethil
estayswitht
hefatherofherchi
ldwho
hasn'tpai
devenachickenandsheonl ycomes
homewhent her
e'sacer
emonyorwhensomeonei s
dead.Zandil
eistheauntt
hatburnsimpepho.That
womani snotpl anningtogoanywhere,she'
snot
marriedandshe' snotworki
ng.Herjobistoburn
i
mpephoandbet hebossi
nthefamilymeetings.
Nkanyisohast hreekidsnowfrom di
ffer
entwomen.
There'sacrazyonewhoof t
enbri
ngst hebabyto
thefarm andscr eamsathiminfrontofever
yone
fort
he“ pamper s"andmoney.

“
Mamawhereareyou?”Themat
chendedt
oosoon,
t
hismani
sbackalr
eady!
“I
nthebedr
oom,
”Iyel
landhearhi
sfoot
steps
coming.
NgceboisasleepandMnqobil
eftwit
hQophel
o.I
don'
tgetthi
speacefult
imever
yoften.
Hetakesoffhi
sshoesandcl i
mbsonbed.He' sstil
l
thesameMazwakhe,justthathedoesn'tli
ke
shavi
nghisbeardver
ymuch.I fIdi
dn'tgainweight
aft
erthepr
egnancyhe'dlookli
kemyf atherwit
hall
thi
sbeard.
“
Theseki
dsar
enotback?
”heasks.
“
Icall
edQophel
oaf
ewminutesagoandt
hey'
re
wit
hMndeniatt
hef
arm,
”Isay.
“It
houghthewentt
ohisgir
lf
ri
ends.
”Hegrabsmy
phoneandputsi
tonthepedest
alnextt
othebed.
“
Yourmanneedsyourat
tent
ion,
”hesays.
Ir
ollmyeyesandt
urnt
omyr
ightsi
det
ofacehi
m.
“
Whydoyoul ooksobeaut
if
ul?”Thi
swhatheneeds
t
heatt
entionfor
?Toaskmet hi
squest
ionheasks
meeveryday.
“BecauseIhadt
imetoputont
hemake-
up.Your
sperm-bl
ossomsgavemesomeMe-t
imetoday,
”I
say.
“Sper
m-bl
ossoms?Ar
eyoumi
ssi
ngt
hesper
ms?
”
heasks.
Yes,he'
ssti
lll
ikethi
s.Hedoesn'tr
omant i
cizehi
s
wordsandI'
vest oppedfight
inghi
m aboutiti
nthe
bedroom.Ij
ustlethim be.
“
No,
Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
,”Isay.
“
ButIwanttospr
eadthem i
nsideyou.Whenwas
t
helastt
imeIsawthecli
tduri
ngbroaddayl
ight
?
Letmeseei
t.
”
Myl i
ttl
efi
ghtgoesinvain.Hecl
osest
hedoorand
stri
pshisclothesof
f.HeknowswhatIdowhenhe
rubshisfacebetweenmyboobs;Ispr
eadmylegs,
that'
salli
ttakes.
“
Mamaaaaaa,
”
OhLord!Whatdi
dIdosowrong?Wasn'
tthi
s
humanbeingsl
eepi
ng?Don'
tIdeser
vegoodthi
ngs
i
nmylife?
“Boy,gofet
chyourR5f r
om Bab'Ngcwethi,
”
Mazwakheyells.He'
skneel
ingbetweenmyl egs
withhishandwrappedoverhisshaf
t.Vei
nsar e
thr
ustingal
loverhi
sarms,hiseyesarealmost
shutt
ing,i
fhedoesn'
trel
easehimselfhe'
llpr
obabl
y
fai
nt.
“Themoney? ”Ngceboasksoutsi
dethedoor .Hi
s
voiceisal
readyfi
ll
edwithexci
tement.Promise
them R5andgivethem 50cent
sandt hey'
lll
oveyou
thewholeday.
“
Yes,
imal
iyakhoboy,
”hesaysandwehearhi
m
r
unni
ngof
f.IfNgcwet
hidoesn'
tgi
vehi
m hi
smoney
he'
l
lhavesomethingel
set
odealwi
thandhopef
ull
y
we'
llbedonebythen.
“Shar
ingyouishard,butatl
eastI
'
m notshar
ingthe
pu$$ywithanyone,
”hesaysandposit
ionshi
stip
overmyclit
.
“
Whotol
dyout
hat
?”Iaskandr
eleaseamoanashe
r
ubsi
tonme.
“Yout
oldmel astnight
,yousai
dital
lbel
ongst
ome
andyou'
llsayitagaint
oday,
”hesays.
“
Whatdoest
hatmean?
”Iask.
Hesl i
desin,sl
owly.Iwr
apmyar msar oundhis
waistandthrowmyheadback.He' sgoingincir
cles
whilerol
li
ngmyni pplei
nhisfi
ngers.I
tseemsl i
keI
wil
lrepeatthosewordsbecausethist
hinghe'
s
doingtomei stoogoodandmymout hisjust
ramblingout.
.
.
Nont
obeko
Zanamuhl aescapedt hesoccermat chgat heri
ngin
herhouseandcameher e.Wehaveal llearnttojust
accepteachot heraswear eandr aiseourki dsand
thesemenhand- i
n-hand.HerandKhut hiar eina
goodpl acenow.Shemat urel
ydidn' thaveany
problem wit
hher ,she'soneconf identwoman.I fit
wasmeIwoul d'
vepr obablydiedf rom the
i
nsecur i
ti
es.ItwasKhut hiwhowasabi tr
eserved
wheni tcamet oherandNgcwet hi.Butast i
mewent
bysher eali
zedthati twasnouse, she'llspendthe
restofherli
fewi t
ht hesepeopl e.

Ihaveagl
assofwi
neandshe'
sdr
inki
ngl
emon
water
.
“Iwasthi
nki
nghere.Wecan'tsi
tli
kethi
sanddo
nothi
ngfort
herestofourl
ives,
”shesays.
“
Iknowbutwhatcanwedo?
”Iask.
“Theyhavet
heirf
arm.Whydon'tweopenourown
cosmeti
cshop?Lookathowmanyyoungwomen
areint
hisvi
ll
ageandlooki
ngugly.
”
Inar
rowmyeyesandshebur
stsi
ntol
aught
er.
“I'
m ki
dding,butIt
hinktheyneedacosmet i
cshop
closeby.Someevengi vemoneyt othei
rrel
ati
vesi
n
townbef or
etheygetamer eli
psti
ck.Wecaneven
extenditwit
hasalon.”
Wow!Ihaven'tthoughtaboutit.Thiscoul
dwork,
theonl
ythingtheyhaveint hi
svill
ageisthef
arm
andtuck-
shopst hatsel
lexpir
edbr eads.
“That
'sagoodideabutwhatift
heycan'taff
ord
them?It
'snotl
ikewe'
regoingtostockfakeKyl
ie
Cosmeti
csandChineseli
psti
cks.Ihateama-
FongKongs,
”Isay.
“Thesepeopl
ehavehusbandsandboyfri
endswho
sendthem moneyever
ymonth,”shesays.
“
I'
minbabe!
”Ir
aisemygl
assandcl
icki
tonher
s.
“
Great
,we'l
ltel
lVuyiswaandKhut
hithencal
lthese
mentothemeeting.Youwil
lbr
eakthenewsto
t
hem.”
What
?No,
thi
sisheri
dea.
“
No,
you'
ret
heonewho'
l
lbr
eakt
henews,
”Isay.
“
You'
ret
heseni
orwi
feNt
obe,
”shesays.
“
No,
Vuyi
swai
stheseni
orwi
fe,
”Isay.
Shesi
ghsandsi
psherwat
er.
“
Okay,we'
llal
lspeakatthesamet
imeandnotgi
ve
t
hem anychancetoobject
.”
“
Thatcoul
dwor
k,”Isay,
laughi
ng.
.
.
Khut
hi

Idon'tknowwhyeveryonechosemet ohostthis
di
nner .Thetwi
nsdon'
teatbeef,
Pakihatesthe
pastaandMazidoesn'twantoni
onsinhisfood.I
hadt ostar
tcooki
ngasearlyas13h00andI '
m only
fi
nishingnow.Ihavet
otakeabathquicklyand
dressup, t
hey'
l
lbehereinnoti
me.
“St
handwahaveyouseenmynavysocks? ”That
's
myf i
rstbor
n,Mnotho.Idon'
tknowwhi
chnavy
sockshe'st
alki
ngabout,hehassomanypair
sof
navysocks.
“
Didyouchecki
nthedr
awer
s?”Iask.
“
No,
”hesays.
Sigh!It
urnbackt otheclosetandgetonepairof
navysocks.Besidet hathe'sl
azy,he'
sagreat
husbandandf at
her .Everyonehaddoubtsabouta
25yearoldhusbandwhowear spush-
onsandsocks.
Butwhent herel
ationshipisbuil
tonastrong
foundat
ionofloveever yt
hingelsefal
lsi
ntopl
ace.
“
Her
e,”Isayandt
hrowt
hem t
ohi
m.
“
You'
reaGod-
sent
.I'
vel
ookedever
ywher
efor
t
hem.
”
“
Real
ly?Wher
edi
dyoul
ook?
”Iask.
“
Iwal
kedi
nandl
ookedar
ound,
theywer
enowher
e.”
Lor
d,whydi
dImar
ryt
hishandsomei
diot
?
“Mnothot
hingswon'tr
untoyouwhenyouneed
them.Youneedtosearchandf
indt
hem.Whatare
youweari
ng?”Iask.
He'si
nhisshor
tsandIknowt
hathemi
ghtnot
change.
“
Wear
ingt
owher
e?”heasks.
“
Fordi
nner
,int
hehouse,
”Isay.
“Butyou'
resayingit'
shereinmyhouse.Whyshould
IdressupasifI'm goingsomewhere?I'
m nota
guestandbesides,ifyoulookbeaut
if
ulIalsol
ook
beauti
ful
.”
Okay,
Ineedt
obathanddr
essup.Thi
sonei
sgoi
ng
t
owast emyt
ime.

Vuyiswahasdi shedfortheki
dsandsentthem
outsi
de.Thesement hi
nkwecall
edthem herej
ust
tofeedthem deli
ciousfoodandl
ookbeautif
ulfor
them.
“
Passt
hesal
ad,
”Mndenisays.
“
Who?
”Busi
khayal
ooksupwi
thhi
seyesnar
rowed.
“
Someonesi
tt
ingbehi
ndyou.No,
youi
diot
.”
“
Getawi
fewho'
l
lpasst
hingst
oyou.
”
Gosh,
ist
hisevennecessar
y?
“
I'
m al
readyahusbandt
ofourbeaut
if
ulwi
vesanda
f
athert
osevenchi
ldr
en.Whatmor
ecoul
dIask
f
rom God?
”Mndenisays.
Hehasnoi
ntent
ionsofset
tl
ingdown,
theyj
ust
needt
omakepeacewithit
.
“
Wehavear
equestt
omake,
”Zanamuhl
ast
art
s.
Headsri
seup,
eyebr
owsar
eli
ft
edandf
rownsar
e
f
urrowed.
“We'
rel
ist
eni
ng,
”Mndeni.Thisdudecr
acksmeup.
Henevert
akesanyt
hingser
iousl
y.
“
Wewantacosmet
icshop,
”Nt
obesays.
Theyl
ookl
ost
.
“Her
eint
hevil
lage,
wit
hasal
onatt
hesi
de,
”
Vuyi
swasays.
Nowtheygetitbutthey'
rest
il
lconf
used,
thei
rwi
ves
ar
emeantt ostayathomeandmakeacal l
whenevert
heyneedsomet hi
ng.
“
Andwe'
l
lper
sonal
lymanagei
t,
”Iadd.
Mndenir
aiseshi
sgl
assup.
“
Phambi
limbokodo!
”
Heget
sdeadst
ares.
“
Why?
”Ngcwet
hiasks,
looki
ngathi
swi
fe.
“Whatdoyoumean“ why"
?Wewantacosmet i
c
shopandwewantt oruni
t.Wecan'tspendtherest
ofourli
vessit
ti
ngathomel i
kethi
sanddoi ng
nothi
ng.Yourchil
drenwil
ldri
veuscrazy,”shesays.
“But….”Nt
obesil
encesBusikhayawit
honel ook.
There'snobuther
eandbyt helookofthings
Mnot hohasnoproblem wi
ththisi
dea.It
'sbetter
thanmewhi ni
ngaboutJohannesburgever ynight
,
ri
ght?
“
Beer
,anyone?
”Vuyi
swaasks.
Deepsighs!Wehaver
eachedtheendofthi
s
di
scussionandwe'
real
linagr
eement,
aren'
twe?
It'
sbeenal ongjourney.Goodandbadt hi
ngs
happenedal ongtheway, butattheendoftheday
we' r
eallonebigfamilyandwehaveeachot her'
s
backs.Themosti mpor tantthingisthatwe're
raisi
ngapur egenerati
on, ourchildr
enwon' thaveto
got hroughwhattheirfatherswentt hr
ough.I tt
ook
touchdecisions,r
isksandsacr i
fi
ces.
(I
t'
sbeenagoodj ourneywar ri
ors.Thankyouso
muchf orengagingwi t
hmeont hisimagi nati
on.
Taki
ngyourpr ecioustimet osharet hestorywith
yourfr
iends,comment ingandl i
king.Ihadagr eat
ti
mewr it
ingthisone,you'reonegr eataudienceand
Ihopewe' l
lal
wayshavet hisgoodr elat
ionshi
p.
Keepinmi ndthatthispage'snamewi l
lchanget o
myname;Nel l
yPageandby13h00we' l
lhaveanew
prof
il
epictureandt heprologueofournextst or y.I
l
oveyousosomuch )