FI

NDI
NGMYDESTI
NY
I
ntr
oduct
ion
Dad:Abongiwemychil
dpleasemakemeproud,
Iknowy oucanseet
hatIdon'thav
emanyyear
s
l
eft.Schooli
sver
yimport
antandIknowyouar
e
asmar tgi
rl
Inodast het earsf i
ll
myey es.MydadandIonl y
haveeachot her, mymot herlef
twhenIwasst i
l
l
ababyandshenev erlookedbacknott hatI
careany more.I'
m 18y earsol dnowandI 'veonl
y
everhadmyf athert oleanon.Wear enota
wealt hyfamily,farfrom itactuall
y ,mydadi sa
secur it
yguar datt hemal landIcl eanthe
neighbor s'housesdur i
ngweekendswher ethey
paymeR150amont h.Itsnotbadconsi deri
ng
thatsomet i
mesIcl eanupt o4housesi none
mont h.Whathur tsmet hemostr ightnowi s
havingt oleav emydadonhi sown, hewasn't
kiddingwhenhesai dhedoesn' thav emany
yearsl eft
,agehast akeni t
st ol
lonhi m andthe
factt
hathewal ksal
argedi
stancetogotowork
alsocont
ribut
estohi
sdeter
iorati
on.Iqui
ckl
y
wipethetears
Me:don'
twor
ryaboutmedad,Iwi
l
lcar
ryy
our
val
ueswit
hmeev er
ywher
eIgo.
Him:don'
tforgett
opr ayever
yday,morni
ngand
ni
ghtandready ouBibleAbongi
we.Nomat t
er
whathappens,beitgoodorbad,readt
heholy
book
Me:
Iwi
l
ldad.Ipr
omi
sey
ou
Hewal ksmet ot hetaxist
op,Idon'thaveal ot
ofthingswi thmebutIhav eallt
hatIown.The
taxistopsinf r
ontofus, Igi
vemydadaqui ck
hugbef or
eIhopont henIwav east hetaxi
start
smov ing.Igetoffatthemal l
,takeat axit
o
Empangeni whereIwi ll
catchmyt axi t
oDur ban.
Iremembert hedayIwasaccept edatUKZNt o
studypsy chologyasi fi
thappenedy esterday,
thelookofhappi nessandprideonmydad' s
facewasenoughf ormeandwhenIgota
bursaryfrom Anqobeaudi ti
ngf i
rm Iknewt hat
thelordwaswat chingoverme.Idon' teven
knowt heowneroft hecompanyt hatgaveme
thebursarybutI'mt rul
ygratefult
ohi m orher.
Mynamei sAbongi weDube, asimple,curi
ous
andopenmi ndedgi rlf
rom t
het ownshipof
Esikhawini.Walkwi thmeasIent erthelif
e
changingwor l
dt hatisvarsi
ty
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*1*
"Yourl
ifei
syourmessaget
othewor
ld.Make
sureit
sinspi
ri
ng"
Varsityissuchabi gworld, I'
vebeenwar ned
thatsomanypeopl eloset hemsel v
est r
yingto
beaccept edort r
yingtofitin,youleaveyour
homeasoneper sontheny oureachv ar
sityas
somet hingelse.Ihopethatdoesn' thappent o
me, Ijustwanttowor khar d,focusonschool
andmakemydadpr oud.WhenIar riv
eatr es,I
l
ocat emyr oom butwhenIgett her
ei t
salready
unl
ockedmeani ngmyr oommat ehasar r
ived.I
hopewegetal ong,
thelastthingIwouldwanti s
bei
ngstuckwi t
hsomeonet hatcoul
dkill
mei n
mysleep.Iopenthedoort ofindherunpacking
hercl
othes,shetur
nsar oundandgivesmea
warm smil
e.Yeyatleastthereishope
Me:
hey
?
?:hel
l
o
Shehasanamer icanaccentbutshei sa
beaut i
ful,chocolateskinnedgirl
withagr eat
bodyj udgingbyhowshel ooksinthosecutof f
denim shor ts.I'
dnev erbecaughtwear ingthose
things,theyar esor eveal
ing.Ipl
aceev eryt
hing
I'
m car r
yingont hef loorandwalkovert oher
side,Imi ghtaswel li
ntr
oducemy self
Me:
I'
m Abongi
we
?
?:Li
yana.I
tsni
cet
omeety
ou
Heraccepti
sn'
tfake,thatIcanal
readypickup
andsheseemsni ce.Aft
erourint
ros,Iunpack
aswell
andI '
m donebeforeherbecauseIdon't
havealotofclot
hesandshehas4sui tcases
and2travel
ingbags.Ideci
detocallmydad,I
knowheisal r
eadyworri
edwherehei s
Dad:
Abongi
weIwasal
readyget
ti
ngwor
ri
ed
SeewhatImean?Thi
smani
sn'
tgoi
ngt
o
sur
viv
ewithoutme
Me:Iwasst
il
lunpacki
ngbababutIhadasaf
e
t
ri
p
Hi
m: t
hankt
heLor
d.I
'
llsendy
oumoneynext
weekOK?
Me:youdon'
thav
etobaba,
mybursaryal
ready
gi
vesmemoneyandIswearit
senough
Him:youcannev erhavetoomuchmoney.I'
l
l
sendittoyouanyway ,
youcansavei
t.Sav
ing
wil
lhelpyoualotmychi l
d
Me:
Iknowbaba
Hi
m:i
syourr
oommat
ether
eal
ready
?
Wespend10mi nsont hephonewi thhim asking
ami l
li
onquestionsandmeanswer ingt hem al
l.
Mydadi sli
kethat,themandoesn' tbelievein
notknowingsomet hing,hewil
lask, double
checkandev entri
plecheckattimes.Hecar es
alotaboutmeanddespi tenothavingmoney ,
thelovewasandwi llalwaysbeenough.
Me: soLi
yanahav
ey oumadeanyf ri
endsyet
?
I'
m suchanawkwardperson,Idon'
tthi
nk
anyonewil
lwantt
obef r
iendswithme
Shelaughs, it
snoj oket hough,I'
m awkwar d.I
l
ikethingslikespor t
s, sneaker sandI'
m nott he
goingoutt ype.I'
venev erhadanyf ri
endsbef ore
becauseIwoul dnev erhav eti
met obui
ld
fr
iendships,withhousechor es,chur
chactiv i
ti
es
andcleaningpeopl e'shouses, whereonear th
wasIgoi ngt ofindtimef orfri
endsandboy s?
ThoughI '
vehadaf ewcr ushesbefor
e,crushing
fr
om adi stancet hough
Li
yana:
sor
tof
.Anol
dfr
iendofmi
newi
l
lbe
goingtoschoolherebutshewon'tbestayi
ngat
res.Idon'
tknowifherandIwillst
il
lcl
ick
thoughsincewehav en'
tseeneachothersi
nce
west ar
tedhighschool
Me:yhothat'
salongt
imebutI
'
m sur
eyouguy
s
wi
ll
wor kitout
Assheorganizesherheelsinhercl
oset,
Iseea
fr
amedpictureofal i
tt
leboyonherdesk,he
l
ooksexactl
yl i
keher,thesmil
eonhisface
makeshiml ookami ll
i
ont i
mescuter
.Ipickit
upandlookatit,Ican'
thelpbutsmil
e.IwishI
hadsi
bli
ngs
Me:
yourl
i
ttl
ebr
other
?
Shel
ift
sherheadupasIwavethef
rameather
andshebeamswithhappi
ness
Her:
theoneinthebluesoccerfr
ameismyl i
tt
le
br
otherLangaandtheoney ouarehol
dingi
s
mysonMangal i
so
Saywhatnow?Shedoesn'
tev
enl
ookl
i
kea
mother,shel
ooksnormal.Notthatyoung
mothersarenotnormalbutyouknowwhatI
meanman.I '
ml ef
twit
hmyj awont hefloorand
shelaughs
Her:
let
'sgogetf
oodandI'
l
ltel
lyoual
labout
hi
m andI'
ll
cal
lKwandotoj
oinus
Me:
alr
ight
.Letmeputshoeson
Idecidetowearmywhi teal lstars,I'
m wear i
ng
j
eansandat ankt op, it
sJanuar ysoitsqui tehot.
Iputmyphonei nmyf rontpocketandt akeout
R200f rom mywal l
etandputi tinmyot herfront
pocket.Idon'townahandbag, I'
venev er
ownedonei nMyl ife.Liy anachangesi ntohigh
waistjeans,l
oosecr opt opandbl ackandgol d
sandals.Grabsherhandbagaf t
erdoi ngher
makeupandwel eav e.Ilookl ikeaf arm Jul i
et
nexttoher,shehasbr aidswhi l
eIhav emy
natur
al hai
rallroughedup, ifitwasn' tformy
boobsandbut t
,you' deasi lymi stakemef ora
boy
Li
yana:Kwandosaysshewil
lfi
ndusatsteer
s.
Justaqui
ckheadsup,shecanbeabitofabrat
sodon'
ttakehert
oheart
Me:
I'
m al
readyget
ti
ngscar
ed
Her
:lol
don'
tbe.Shedoesn'
tbi
te
Aswewai tforourorder s,
justchatt
ingabout
random t hings,atal
l,l
ightskinned,wit
ha
perfectbodygi rlwalksupt ous.Shei sweari
ng
cutof fshor t
s,acroptop, shadesandheel
boots, al
ltheguy satst eersturntol
ookather.
Everythingaboutheri sonpoi nt
,shehasapixie
cutwi thblondet i
ps.Liyanaget suptohugher
Li
yana:
wowf
ri
endy
oul
ookamazi
ng
Kwando:thanksbabe.It
ry.Lookatyou.You
don'
tevenlookli
keamot her.Umhlesana
Li
yana:
lolt
hanks.Ohwherear
emymanners.
Thi
sismyr oommateAbongi
we.Abongi
wethi
s
i
smyf r
iendKwando
Me:
itsni
cet
omeety
ouKwando
Kwando:
whydi
dtheyputy
oui
nar
oom wi
tha
l
esbi
an?
Ohwow, Idi
dn'
tseethatonecoming.Istay
composed, cl
earl
ythi
sKwandochickandIar e
notgoingtogetalongandI'
mf i
newiththat.
Sheisn'tmyfri
endanyway,shei
sLiyana's
Li
yana:
lol
shei
sn'
tl
esbi
an
Kwando:t
henwhyisshedr
essedli
ket
hat
?
Act
uall
yIdon'
tcar
e.SohowwastheUSofA?I
s
i
tsti
l
laspoppi
ngasIremember?
IthinkIzoneoutf ormostoft hi
sconversati
on,
ourf oodar r
ivesandIdigin,Kwandoordereda
salad, somethingaboutnoteati
ngcarbsand
whatnot .WhenI'm doneeati
ng,Ideci
deto
l
eav e, I
'veal
readypaidformymeal anywayand
cl
ear lyI'
m notneededher e
Me:guy
sI'
mti
redsoI
'
m goi
ngt
oheadbackt
o
r
es
Li
yana:
alr
eady
?
Me:y
eahIhadal
ongdaywi
tht
rav
eli
ngand
ev
ery
thi
ng
Kwando:
OKby
eAy
abonga
Li
yana:
itsAbongi
we
Kwando: goshLi
yanadoesitevenmatt
er?
Peoplel
ikeusaren'
tbother
edbypeopleli
keher
andyoushoul dr
eall
ytel
luncl
eEnzotogetyou
afl
at.Resisanightmare
Igetupandl eavethem argui
ng, I'
mj ustglad
thatatl eastLi yanahadmybackanddi dn'tlet
hersnobbyf riendwalkalloverme.WhenIget
backt ores, Itakeashowerandgeti nbed, t
he
suni sn'tev endowny etbutI'
mf eel
ingdr ained
byt hisday .IgoonFacebook, Ireadacoupl eof
diaries,honest l
ythat'
sallIeveruseFacebook
for.Ihar dlypostanyst atusesorpi cturesandi f
Ido, Igetamaxi mum of13l i
kesi fI
'ml ucky .
WhenLi y anaget sbacktot her oom, Ipretendto
beasl
eep
Li
yana:y
ourphonei
sst
il
lonsoy
ouar
enot
asl
eep
Igi
ggleandopenmyey
esthensi
tuponthe
bed.ShehandsmeaPSchocol
atewr
it
ten"
I'
m
sorr
y"
Me:
what
'
sthi
sfor
?
Her:
I'
m sorr
yforKwando'
srudeness.Sher
eal
l
y
haschangedalotsi
nceI'
vebeengone
Me:
itsnoty
ourf
aul
t.Atl
easty
ouhadmyback
Shesmi l
esandsit
sonmybed.Wewer e
supposedtogettoknoweachotherdur
ing
l
unchbef or
eherpsychobi
tchyf
ri
endrui
nedit
al
l
Me:
sohowol
disy
ourson?
Her
:hei
stur
ning5i
nMar
ch
Me:
soy
ouhadhi
m wheny
ouwer
e..
.
Her:14.Hisdadi sKwando'solderbr ot
her.The
familywasn'tpleasedwit
hev ery
thing,wewer e
rai
sedcloselyandt henwef el
li
nl ove,mydad
l
ostitandt heyshippedMangi andIt omy
grandparentsinLA.Mangi camebackl astyear
tostaywithhisdadandt heyaret hemai n
reasonI'
m alsobacki nSA
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*2*
"
Dowhatmakesy
oursoul
shi
ne"
Fir
stdayofl ectur
estoday,I'
m excitedand
nervousatt hesametime.Ij usthopeI'l
llov
emy
coursenowasmuchasI 'l
lloveitinmyl ast
semest erofmyf i
nalyear.Aftertaki
ngashower
IwearmyKai zerchi
efsT-shirtwithri
pped
boyfri
endj eansandwhitesneaker s,r
oughmy
hairupt henputanexam pad, pencilbagand
mywal letinmybackpack
Li
yana:
I'
m goi
ngt
ocampust
oonowsoIcan
gi
veyouaride
Me:
thatwoul
dbeamazi
ng.Thanky
ou
Shegrabsherkey sandwel eave,passi ngby
McDonal d'
st ograbbreakfastthenof fto
campuswego.Shedr opsmeof finf rontofthe
psychol
ogybui ldi
ng,Ialr
eadyat eint hecarsoI
j
ustwalkst rai
ghtinandsi ti
nthemi ddle.
Student
sst artcomingininnumber sandbef ore
Iknowit,thelecturehalli
sfull
.Thel ecturer
walksinwi t
ht woguy sandagi rl
,theyar e
defi
nit
elynotf i
rstyears
DrLouw:settl
edownguy s.Letmeintroduce
youtoyourtutor
s,tut
ori
alsarecompulsoryso
makesureyousi gnupwithoneoftheseguy s.
Theyarehonoursstudent
ssot heyknowwhat
theyar
edoing.ThisisAmahle
Thegirlwav
esatus,Imightj
ustj
oinher
sessi
on,sheisdr
essedupallf
ashi
onabl
yand
shelooksni
ce
DrLouw:
thi
sisAv
ery
Averyalsowavesatusandthegirl
sstar
t
makingt hosewei
rdsoundsbutIdon'
tbl
ame
them,theguyishotfr
om whatIcanseefrom
whereIam
DrLouw:andthat
'sWandi
l
e.Wandi
l
eisdoi
ng
hi
smastersnow
Onsecondt houghtsImi ghtj ustjoi
nWandile'
s
session, heismor eeducat edandhasmor e
experiencet utor
ing,y epI'
l
l joi
nhi ssessi
on.
Afterallmycl asses, Idecidet ogof i
ndtheli
st
withthet utor'
ssessi ons.IlookatWandi le'
s
sheetandhedoesn' thaveal otofpeoplewho
havesi gnedupbuthi st i
mescl ashwithsome
ofmycl asses
Me:
dammi
t
?
?:OKwhatdi
dthepaper
sdot
oyou?
Itur
nar
oundandfi
ndsomeguystandi
ng
behi
ndmewithasmil
eonhi
sface.Weirdo
Me:
not
hing
?
?:y
oushoul
dsi
gnupf
orAv
ery
'ssessi
on.Hei
s
r
eal
l
ysmart
Me:andwhatar
eyou?Pr
esi
dentofhi
sfancl
ub
orsomet
hing
??
:lolnahheismyol derbr
othersoIknowheis
smart.I
'm Lwakhobytheway,Lwakholonke
Smith
Heseemsni ceshame, hel
ooksgoodtoosohe
i
sprobabl
yapl ayer
.I'
mr ul
ingal
lgoodlooki
ng
guysaspl
ay er
sorjerks,t
hatshoul
dbeenough
formetostayawayf rom t
hem
Me:
I'
m Abongi
weDube
Lwakho:
nicet
omeety
ouAbongi
weDube
Iendupsi gni
ngupf orAmahle'ssession,Ican
al
readysenset hatAvery'
ssessionwil
l befil
l
ed
wit
ht hosefakegirl
swi t
hthefakehairand
j
udgment aleyes,Idon'
tneedthatinmyl if
e.As
Iwalktothebusst op,Lwakhoisstil
lfoll
owing
me,talki
ngnonst op.I
'v
enevermetaguyt hat
t
alksasmuchast
hisone
Hi
m:soy
oust
ayatr
es?
Me:
yeah
Him:mybrotherandIshar
eaf l
at.Youknow
AbongiweIhaveafeel
ingyouandIaregoingt
o
begreatf
ri
ends
Me:
Idoubti
t
Him:Idon'
t.Idon'
thav
ealotoff
ri
ends,wel
lI
don'
thavefri
ends.Doyouhav
efri
ends
Iwanttosayy
oudon'thavef ri
endsbecause
youtal
ktoomuchbutIwasr ai
sedbettert
han
that
.Mydadalwayssai
di fyoudon'thave
anyt
hingni
cetosay,
don'tsayany t
hingatall
Me:
myr
oommat
eismyf
ri
end
Him: wel
lyourr
oommat
eandLwakhoarey
our
fr
iendsnowandIwon'
thiti
nyou,
Ihav
emy
owngi r
lf
ri
end
Wel
lthat
'sar
eli
efbecauseIal
readyhadmy
speechi
nmyheadofhowI 'm goi
ngtotur
nhim
down.Mybusarr
ived,
thankgoodness,
itwas
al
readyt
aki
ngtoolong
Me:
wel
lthat
'smyr
idesoby
e
Hi
m:by
eAbongs
Me:
dudeno
Hi
m:heyi
t'
sacut
ename
Ishakemyhead, cli
mbont othebusandfind
myseat .LaterthatdayIgothroughmynoteof
theday ,callmydad, wemadeadeal t
hatI
'dcall
everydayandt hefir
stthi
ngheasksmei sifI'
ve
beenr eadingmybi bl
enowIcan' tl
i
eaboutthe
holybooksoIj usttell
himthatI'
m aboutt
o
startreading.
Liy
ana:I
'
v ehadsuchal
ongdayandIst
il
lhav
e
todri
vetogoseemyson
Me:If
eel
foryouroomzabutatl
eastIcooked
soy
ouwillgother
ewit
hafullst
omach
Her:I
'
llbebackonthemorni
ngthough,t
hat'
sif
Shaundoesn'
tannoymeinthemiddleofthe
ni
ghtandIcomeback
Me:youlov
etheguythoughsowhydon'
tyou
guy
sjustgetbackt
ogether
?
Sheshr ugshershoul dersandst art
spackingan
over nightbagwhi leIgetinbedwi thmyphone.I
reallyneedt ogetal aptopyaz, I
'
m goingtogo
crazywi t
hbor edom.IgoonFacebookandf ind
ani nvitefrom LwakholonkeLwakhoSmi th,I'
m
alreadyr egrett
inggivi
nghi m myf ul
lnames, t
his
guyhast hepot enti
altobet hemostannoy ing
per sonev er.Iaccepttheinvit
eandhest arts
text i
ngmev iaFacebookmessenger
Lwakho:It
oldy
out
hatwear
egoi
ngt
obe
fr
iends
Me:
wear
enotf
ri
ends
Hi
m:Facebooksay
swear
e
Il
aughoutl
oud,
thi
sguyi
sani
diot
.Af
unny
i
diott
hough.May
be,
justmay
behi
m andIcoul
d
befri
ends
Me:
lol
youar
eani
dioty
az
Him:atl
eastIgotyousmiling.Somybr other
saysAmahleisn'
tagoodt utorandthatyou
shoul
dsignupwi t
hhim orWandi l
e
Me:IwantedWandi
l
ebuthi
sti
mescl
ashwi
th
myclasses
Hi
m:wel
lthent
akeAv
ery
'ssessi
on
Me:
I'
ll
see.Ineedt
osl
eepbr
uhsopeaceout
Hi
m:nor
mal
peopl
esaygoodni
ght
Me:
lol
howwoul
dyouknow?Younotnor
mal
Hi
m:ouchgi
rly
oucutmedeep
Me:
lol
byeLwakho
Af ewweekslat
erwewer ewrit
ingoursemest er
testsandIwasbasical
l
yli
vingatthel
ibrarybut
Iwasn'tt
heonlyone,st
udentsi
nv ar
sit
yt ake
thisstudyingseri
ouslyhey.LwakhoandIhav e
becomef ri
ends,heneverlet'
smef orgetthathe
sawt hiscomi ngandthatIshoul djustalways
trusthisjudgment.Heisabi tfullofhimselfthi
s
one.Iat t
endedAmahl e'
ssessi ont wi
cebef oreI
reali
zedt hatthi
sgir
ldoesn'tknowany thi
ngand
Iswi t
chedt oAvery'
ssession.Wewer ehav i
ng
ourlastsessionbeforeourt estnextweek
Monday ,
hei sgoodatthisImustsay
Av er
y:OKguysthat'
sal
lfortoday
,thoseofyou
thathavequest
ionscanstaybehi
ndandt he
restofyouaredismi
ssed
Itwasonlytheguysthatleft
,obv
iouslythegi
rls
had"questi
ons"butIwasn'toneofthem.As
muchasIwasn' tanaturall
ysmartperson,I
workhardandmyr esult
sspeakf orthemselves.
IpackedupandasIgotup, Iwasstopped
Av
ery
:Abongi
wepl
easest
aybehi
nd
Al
ley
est
urnedt
omeandIi
mmedi
atel
ysat
down.Hefinishedwitht hegi
rlsthencamet o
mydeskandsatdownnextt ome.Hesmel led
ni
ce.Aver
yi syourtypicalhotguy,li
ghtski
nned,
bi
geyes,t
hickl ashesandey ebrows,pinkl
ips
andheistall
.Her eal
lyishot
Hi
m:soy
ouar
ereadyf
ory
ourt
estonMonday
?
Me:
Iwi
l
lber
eady
Him:Icouldhelpyououtify
ouneedit
.Icant
ell
thaty
ouar etheshytypeandyoudon'
taskal
ot
ofquesti
onsinclass
IdidsayIwasanawkwar dperson,Idon'
tknow
howt ospeakupi
nfrontofalotofpeoplesoI
wouldneveraskaquesti
oninclassoratat ut
or
sessi
on
Me:
I'
ll
keept
hati
nmi
nd.Thanky
ou
Hesmilesrev
eal
i
nghi sper
fect
lywhiteteet
h,
t
hisguyissomet
hingelseandsuddenlyIfeel
weir
dthingsi
nmyt ummyashesmi lesatme
Him:youlookbeaut
if
ult
odaybyt
heway
.Il
i
ke
yoursneaker
s
IthinkI'
m blushi
ng,nahscr
atchthatIam
blushing.I
'
m wear i
ngmywhi t
eStanSmi th
sneaker st
hatmydadgotmef ormybi r
thday
l
asty ear.
Me:
uhm t
hanks
Hesmilesagai
nandIgetupt oleav
e.Laterthat
dayImeetupwithLwakho,I'
m onastudybr eak
andheistaki
ngmeoutforlunch.I'
m enj
oying
theper
ksofhavingr
ichfr
iends.WeareatRoco
mamas
Lwakho:
mygi
rl
fr
iendwant
stomeety
ou
Me:
nahI
'
llpass
Hi
m:hawwhy
?
Me:nooff
enseLwakhobuty
ourGir
lf
ri
endi
s
whi
te,whi
tepeopl
etendt
obesnobby
Hi
m:whydoy
ouhav
etobesoj
udgment
al
t
hough?Hal
eyi
sn'
tli
ket
hat
.Justmeetheronce,
y
ouguysdon'
thav
etobefr
iends
Me:
fii
i
ii
ne
Ourmeal ar
ri
vesasthatsnobbitchfr
iend
kaLiyanawalksinwit
hsomeguy ,t
heguyisina
suitsohepr obabl
yworks.Ican'
tseehim
properlybecauseweareabi tf
arfrom t
hem
Me:
argIhat
ethatgi
rl
Hi
m:whatgi
rl
?
Me:
theonet
hatj
ustwal
kedi
n,l
eftent
rance
Heturnsaround,
spotsthegi
rlandwav
esather
andtheycomeov erohgoshwhydidhehav
eto
dothat?
Me:
ser
iousl
ydude
Hi
m:r
elax
Kwandoandherguyr
eachourtable,Lwakho
get
suptohugherandthendoesamanhug
wit
htheguyandI'
mjustsi
tt
ingtherepoki
ng
awkwar dl
yatmyf r
ies.I
'
llbeOKifIdon'
tsay
anythi
ngright
?Imeanshemadei tpr
ett
yclear
thatI'
m notevenabeeponherraider
Lwakho:
heycuz,
hav
en'
tseeny
oui
nawhi
l
e
Cuz?Cuzisshor
tforcousi
nr i
ght?Howcan
Lwakhobesoniceyetberelat
edt osuchabitch.
It
struewhatt
heysay,youreal
lycan'tchoose
yourfami
ly
Kwando:I
'
m abusyl
adyLwakssoIhar
dlyhav
e
ti
meforanyone
Lwakho:t
hatIcansee.Thi
sismyfri
end
Abongi
we.Abongsthisi
smycousinKwando
andhercousi
nwhoi snotmycousi
nLimil
e
AllIheardisthathor
ri
blenamet hathecal l
sme
bythatIhat ewit
hapassion,Idon'tevenlook
up,I'
vemetKwandoandIdon' twantt omeet
herfamily.Icanberudetooguys,I'm notmade
ofsteel.
Kwando:
ohi
tsy
ou.Youseem t
obeev
ery
wher
e
Igo.I
ssomeonepay
ingy
out
ofol
l
owmeor
somethi
ng?
Limi
le:
youar
esof
ull
ofi
t,y
ouar
enotev
en
famous
Kwando:thenwhyarepeoplestar
ingatmeif
I
'm notevenfamous?Ir
unDur bancuz.Dur
ban
todayandtheworl
dtomorrow
IjustrollmyeyesandIthinkLimilecaughtthat
becausehest artedl
aughingandIsmi led.I
wonderi fal
lthepeopleinthi
scityarehot,
Lwakhoi shotbuthei safri
end,hisbrotheris
alsoonsomeot herl
evelofsexinessandnow
thatI'
m getti
ngagoodl ookofthisLimileguy,
hei salsohotbutwithhimitsdiff
erentbecause
i
tsmat ur
edsexinessormay beitsthesuit.
Li
mil
e:Kwandolet
'seatsothatIcancat
chmy
fl
i
ght
.Jo'
burgawaitsme.Abongiwe
Ili
ftmyheadbutIdon'
tlookathim st
rai
ghti
n
theeyes,
Ijustshi
ftmyeyesaround.Hesmil
es
t
henext
endshi
shandt
omeandIdot
hesame
Li
mil
e:i
twasapl
easur
etomeety
ou
HekissesmyhandandIswearal lmyorgans
melted.Iblushed,
twoveryhotguyshavehad
mebl ushingli
kecrazyi
noneday .Whataday
I
'm having.Theywalkawayleavi
ngmewi tha
ver
ycur iousLwakho
Me:sowhenam Imeet
ingt
hisgi
rl
fr
iendof
your
s?
Aft
erav eryexhaustingtestweek,all
Iwantto
doissleepfor5day sst r
aight
.Ev
eryinchofmy
bodyisinpain,I'
m sureev enmyey el
ashesare
sore.Igettoresandf indsomeguywi thakid
butnoLi y
anai nsi
ght .
Me:
hi
??:hey
.Wear
ejustwai
ti
ngf
orLi
yana,
shei
s
showeri
ng
Me:
alr
ight
.
Ithrowmy selfonmybedandj ustclosemy
eyes,lat
erI'
mi nt
roducedtoShaunand
Mangal i
so.Idon'
tunderst
andhowLi y
anaand
thi
sguycl ai
mt oloveeachotherwhent hey
fi
ghtsomuchov ersomanyst upi
dt hi
ngs.For
exampl ewhenhewasher eearli
er,hewent
throughherWhat sAppandnowt heyare
fi
ght i
ngoverthat
Me:
guy scany
oukeepi
tdownpl
ease,
I'
mtr
ying
t
osleep
Li
yana:
sor
ryr
oomza.Wewi
l
lkeepi
tdown
Me:
thanky
ou
I'
m sogl
adI'
m notdat
ing,
I'
m nothavi
ngsex
andIhavenobabydaddydrama,Iwouldn'
t
survi
vet
his
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*3*
"
Don'
tbeaf
rai
doft
heunknown"
Li
yanawal
ksi
ntoourr
oom cr
ying,
shei
sa
mess, hermakeuppl usthetearsmakesfora
ver
yunsi ghtl
ycombinati
on.Irushtoherside
i
mmedi at
elyaft
ersheclosesthedoor.Sheis
pacingaroundtheli
ttl
eroom andI '
mfoll
owing
herbecausehonestlyIhavenoi deawhat'
s
goingon
Me:
mngani
arey
ouok?
StupidquestionAbongi we,ofcoursesheisn'
t
OK.Thepoorgi rll
ooksamess.Ev ent
ual
lyshe
stopspacingar oundandsi t
sont hebedandI
sitr
ightnexttoherandpul l
herintomyarms
whilerubbingherback, Ihavezeroexper
ience
i
ncomf ort
ingpeopl ebutI'
veseent hi
sdonein
themov iesandi tseemst owork
Li
yana:Ihatehim.GoshIhat
ehim somuch.I
ev
enhat ethathegotmepregnant
.Ijusthat
e
ev
erythi
ngabouthim
Ofcoursethesour
ceofal
lthi
scommotionis
Shaun.Thesetwoareadi
sasternj
ewai
tingt
o
happen
Me:
whathappened?
Her:hei scheati
ng.Notevenwit
honegi
rlbut
wit
ht hree.Threesi
dechicksAbongi
we,
who
doest hat?
Me:
I'
m sor
rymngani
.Hei
sanasshol
e
Her:andthenhehastheaudaci
tyt
osaywenot
toget
hersoIcan'
ttel
lhi
m whotosleepwit
h
andwhonott osl
eepwithyetwhenheseesmy
conversat
ionswi
thguysonmyphoneheget s
madatme
Me:
sel
fi
shbast
ard
Honest lyIdon'twanttogeti nvolvedi nthis,she
i
scr yingtodayandt hreeday sfrom nowI 'l
lbe
seeinghappyf amil
ypicturesofher ,Shaunand
Mangi onFacebookonsome#Lov eLivesHer e
sonj eitsbestIcomf ortherandl eav eitatthat.
Sincei t
saSat urdayafternoonandLi yanai s
mopi ngar ound,Ideci
det otreatmy selftosome
met i
me.Ichangei ntobl
ackski
nnyjeans,
a
simplewhiteT-shi
rtandahoodie,t
heweather
l
ooksl i
keitmightchangesoon.Iputonmy
sneakers,
putmybankcar dinmypocket
toget
herwi t
hmyphone
Me:I'
m goingoutf
ri
end,
shoul
dIbr
ingy
ou
any
thing?
Li
yana:
amant
hatwon'
tcheatonme
Webot
hbursti
ntol
aught
er,atl
eastsheisn'
t
gr
umpywhensheisgoi
ngthroughhell
Me:
eishIt
hinkt
hosear
eal
lsol
dout
.By
e
Iblowherakissandwal kout
.WhenIgett o
townIdecidetowat chamov i
efi
rst,happi
ness
i
saf ourlet
terword.AsmuchasIdon' tdate,
doesn'tmeanI'
m notasoppywomanl ikethe
restofus.Ial
sowantamant osweepmeof f
myf eetandmarryme, whodoesn'twantthat?
Av
ery
:It
houghtIr
ecogni
zedy
ou
I
'm atMcDonald'
snowhav
ingalatel
unch,
I
don'tev
enknowwherehecamef r
om.Hepull
s
achairinf
rontofmeandj
oinsme
Hi
m:Ihopey
oudon'
tmi
nd
Me:
nahIdon'
t
Hi
m:Il
i
key
ourhai
rbyt
heway
.Lookscool
Sof i
rstitwasmysneakersandnowi t
smyhair.
Iguesshehasbeennot i
cingmewhi chcomes
asashockbecausenooneev ernoti
cesme,
event heguysIhadacrushoni nhighschool
nevert ookalookatme.I'
m notsayingIhavea
crushonAv erythough,
I'
mj ustsayi
ng
Me:thanks.Youshouldpr
obabl
ygetgoi
ng.
Yourgir
lf
ri
endisgivi
ngusthest
inkyeye
Helaughsandl
ooksov
eratthegi
rlhewaswi
th
bef
orehecametomethenturnsbackt
ome
Him:don'
tmi
ndher.Itsst
art
ingt
orai
n,doy
ou
haveari
debackt
or es?
Me:
nahIwasgoi
ngt
ocal
lacab
Him:noneed,myflatisn'tfarf
rom here,
last
ti
meIcheckedmybr ot
herwashomesoj ust
gi
vehim acall
tofetchy ouandt akeyoutoour
fl
at.I
'
llt
akeyoutoresaf terIdropheroff
Sohedi dn'tconfir
m nordenywhet her"her
"is
hisgir
lf
riend.Iagreetohi sofferand30mi ns
l
aterLwakho' scarisout si
de.Iordertwo
mcf l
urr
yi cecreamst hengoouti ntothecar,I'
m
goingtobesobr okeaf t
erthisandher eIwas
tel
li
ngmydadt hatIam saving
Lwakho:
atl
eastt
ell
mey
ouwer
eonadat
e
Me:udl
alangam.Adat
ewi
thwho?Boy
sdon'
t
l
ookatme
Hi
m: doyouev
enl
ookatt
hem?Ar
eyouev
en
i
ntoguys?
Me:
Iam.I
'
m notal
esbi
anhaw
Hi
m:OKnor
easont
obi
temyheadof
f.Iwas
j
ustmaki
ngsur
e
Wehav eouricecream ont hecouchundera
bl
anket,i
tsrai
ningr eal
lyhardnowandsuch
weatherhasat endencyofmaki ngmesleepy.I
musthav ef
allenasleepbecauseI '
m wokenup
bythesmellofpizza.Irubmyey esandsi
tup
onthecouch,Av eryisback
Me:
heywhydi
dn'
tyouguy
swakemeup?
Avery
:youwoul dhaveslappedme.I
'v
ebeen
tol
dthatsleepi
ngbeautygetswokenuponl
y
wit
haki ss
Lwakho:
sol
amebr
uh
Av
ery
:shutup
Ilaugh,t
hesetwoarguebackandfort
hwhil
eI
reachforapizzasl
i
cethenLwakho'sphone
ri
ngsandheexcuseshi msel
f
Aver
y:your
eal
l
ylookedpeacef
ulwhenyou
weresl
eepi
ngt
hat'
swhyIdidn'
twanttowake
y
ouup
Me:
lol
soI
'
m notsl
eepi
ngbeaut
ynow
Hi
m:l
olonl
ybecausey
ouar
eawakenow
Weshareagoodl augh,I
'
m enjoyinghis
companyandchil
lingwit
hhimi sn'tt
hesameas
chi
ll
i
ngwithLwakho.Iactual
lyfeel l
i
keI'
m
chi
ll
i
ngwithaguy.Anact ual
guynotaf r
iend.
Lwakhowalksbackintothel
oungeal ldressed
up
Me:
andt
hen?
Lwakho:
Haleycall
ed.Ar
ey ougoi
ngtobeOK
wit
hhim orshoul
dIdropyouoffatr
esbef
oreI
gotoHaley?
Aver
y:Idon'
tbi
teLwakhol
onke.Abongi
wewi
l
l
befi
ne
Lwakho:Iwasn'
taski
ngy
ouf
ool
,Iwasaski
ng
Abongs
Me:
Aver
ywi
l
ltakemebackt
ores.Got
oyour
snowbunny
Forsomer easonIst
il
lwanttospendmoreti
me
wit
hAv ery
.Heseemsl i
keaninter
esti
ngguy
pl
ushei sahotguythatmightj
ustbe
i
nterest
edinplai
noldme.
Lwakho:
lol
peaceoutsucker
s
AssoonasLwakholeaves,Aver
ydi
sappear
s
i
ntotheki
tchenandIusethi
stimet
otext
Li
yana.
Me:
pleaset
ell
mey
ouar
eawake
Li
yana:
Iam.What
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
I'
m atAv
ery
'sf
lat
Her
:howdi
dyouendupal
lthewayt
her
e?
Me:
longst
orybutI
'
m her
eal
onewi
thhi
m
Her
:becar
eful
.Aver
yisaplay
ersodon'
tdo
any
thi
ngwit
hhim.Heishotbuthei
saplay
er
Me:
OKnot
ed.Lat
er
Iputmyphonebacki
nmypocketasher et
urns
wit
htwocupsofwhatlooksli
kehotchocol
ate,
hehandsonetomeandj oi
nsmeont hecouch,
undert
heblanket
Me:
thanks
Hi
m:pleasur
e.I
'
m gl
ady
oudi
dn'
tl
eav
ewel
lI'
m
gl
adyouareher
e
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:becauseIl
i
key
ouAbongi
we
Ichuckl
eandr
oll
myey
es.That
'
sal
i
e
Me:
lol
yeahr
ight
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tbel
i
eveme?
Me:
whyshoul
dI?
Hi
m:becauseI
'
veshowny
ousomanyt
imes
Well
clearl
yI'
vehadmyey escl
osedthi
swhol e
semesterbecauseI'
veseennoneofthat.Yeah
hepaysalotofattent
iontomeduringthe
tutori
alsandwhenheseesmeoncampushe
alwayscomest omet osayhi
butthat
'
sj ust
him beingnice.Doesn'
tmeanthathel
ikesme.
Hei sjustbeingni
ce
Me:
wel
lIdon'
tdat
e
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?Whynot
?
Me:boysar eadist
racti
onandIneedtof
ocus
onschool.Ihavealotri
dingont
hisdegr
eesoI
can'
taff
ordt obedist
racted
Hi
m: butI
'myourt
utorsoIwoul
dbeagood
di
str
acti
ondon'
tyouthi
nk?
Ishrugmyshoul der
sthenhesmi lesandtakes
themugf r
om myhandsandpl acebothofthem
onthet abl
eandmov esclosertome.Myhear t
i
sbeat i
ngat200km/ h,Iswearit
sbeatingso
fastI'
m scaredi
tmightstop
Hi
m:comeher
e
Hegent
lyt
urnsmyf
acet
ohi
m,l
i
ckshi
sli
ps
thengentlyplacesthem onmine.Idon'
tknow
whatt odo,I'
veneverbeenkissedbefor
esoI '
m
j
ustfrozenunt i
lhegentl
ypartsmyl i
pswithhi
s
tongueandpul lsmybottom l
ipbetweenhis,
suckingonitgently
Hi
m:j
ustf
oll
owmyl
ead
Me:
OK
HeleadsandIfol
low,af
terafewsecondsIget
ahangofitandstar
ttoenjoytheki
ss,hecups
myfaceaswecont i
nuekissi
ngforawhilethen
hepecksmyl i
psandmov esback,l
eavi
ngme
wit
hclosedeyesandsli
ghtl
ypartedl
ips
Him:yourli
psar
ereal
l
ysof
tandsexy
.Youar
ea
goodkisser
Iclosemymout
handopenmyeyes,
suddenly
I'
m 10ti
messhi
ert
hanIam onar
egularday
Me:
Iam?I
'
venev
erdonet
hisbef
ore
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?Youar
eanat
ural
though.Iwantt
o
ki
ssy
ouagai
n.MayI
?
Inod,Ienjoyedki ssinghi
mt hefir
sttimesowhy
wouldIsayno?Wespendt herestofthe
aft
ernoonj ustkissingonthecouch, Idi
dn'
t
evengettof ini
shmyhotchocol ateandbefor
eI
knowititsget t
ingdar kout
side
Me:
Ishoul
dpr
obabl
ygetgoi
ng
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
obemygi
rl
fr
iendAbongi
we
Me:y
oualreadyhaveagi
rl
fr
iendAv
eryandl
i
keI
t
oldyou,
Idon'tdat
e
Him:
soyoudon'tf
eelt
hesamewayaboutme
asIf
eel
aboutyou?Youdon'
tl
ikeme?
Goshwhowoul dn'
tl
ikeyou?What'
stherenott
o
l
ikeaboutyou?Smart,
sexyandfunnyguy,
perf
ectcombinat
ion
Me:
whatabouty
ourgi
rl
fr
iend?
Him:don'
tworr
yabouther,shewon'tcome
betweenusandthatr
elat
ionshi
pisoverany
way
j
ustnotof
fi
cial
l
y
Me:
Idon'
tknowAv
ery
Hi
m:pl
easesayy
es.Youwon'
tregr
eti
t.I
pr
omi
se
Isigh,
heislooki
ngatmeandI '
m avoi
dinghis
eyesatall
costs.Thi
sisnotwhatIcamet o
Durbanfor
Me:
yes
Hi
ssmi l
est
ret
chesfr
om eart
oearandIj
ust
st
artl
aughi
ngwhil
ecover
ingmyeyes
Hi
m:l
olnowwecango
Idecidedt okeepmyrelati
onshipwi t
hAv eryto
my self
,thatwayIwon'tbejudgedf ordatinga
guywi thagi r
lf
ri
endbuthonestlyIreal
lyli
kehim,
hemakesmehappyandi tnev erfeel
slikeI'
m
sharinghim.Whenwear etogether,i
tsjust
aboutthet woofus.Todayschool sareclosing
fortheeast erbr
eaksoI'
m goinghome, Imiss
mydadsomuch
Me:babeIhav
etol
eav
eat1sot
hatIcanget
homeearl
y
Aver
y:l
et'
sleav
eathalfpast2.I
'
lldri
vey
ou
homesoy oudon'
thav
et otakeataxi
Me:Aver
yno.Youcan'
tdr
ivemehome.Mydad
woul
dkil
lme
Him:l
olIwon'
tdropyouatt
hegatebae,
I'
ll
drop
youatt
hetaxist
op.Hewon'tseey
ou
Me:
andi
fthenei
ghbor
sseeme?
Ourneighborsareverynosy,t
heypeakat
peopl
et hr
ought hei
rwindows,that
'
showbadit
i
ssot helastthi
ngIwanti st
obegossiped
aboutduri
ngt heThursdaychurchmeet
ings
Hepul
lsmet
owardshi
m,Iwrapmyarms
ar
oundhi
swai
standheki
ssesmyfor
ehead
Hi
m: st
opstr
essi
ngaboutst
upidthi
ngs.Ihav
e
acarandI
'
m notlet
ti
ngyoutakeataxiwhenI
candr
ivey
ouhome
Me:
OKf
ine.Letmegof
ini
shpacki
ngupt
hen
Weki sswhenhedr opsmeof fatresandt he
weirdstaresIgetf rom thegi
rl
sar eenoughfor
met owi sht hegroundcouldjustswal l
owme
up,inourr oom, Ifi
ndLiyanawi t
hKwando.I
don'tunder standwhyIcan'tgot hr
ougha
mont hwi t
houtseei ngthisgi
rlandwei r
dly
enoughInev erseeheroncampusy etshe
studiesther e
Me:
heyguy
s
Li
yana:
heyf
ri
end.Iwaswonder
ingwher
eyou
were
Me:
Iwasj
ustout
sidewi
thLwakho
Kwando:
arey
ouguy
sani
tem?
Me:
wear
ejustf
ri
ends
Ileavethem tofi
nishpacki
ngunt
ilsomethi
ngi
n
theirconver
sati
oncatchesmyatt
ent i
onandI
st
opwhatI
'
m doi
ng
Kwando:
your
ememberAphel
eler
ight
?
Li
yana:
whi
chAphel
elei
sthi
s?
Kwando:t
heonewehaddr i
nkswit
htheother
dayoncampus.Tal
l
,li
ghtski
nnedski
nnygir
l
wit
htheshor
tPeruv
ianweave
Li
yana:
theoney
ousai
disAv
ery
'sgi
rl
fr
iend?
Kwando:
yest
hatone
Idi
dn'tevenknowhername,Ijustsawherthat
dayatMcDonal d'
sandI'
veneverseenheragai
n.
AtleastnowIknowt obeonthelookoutfor
Aphelel
e
Kwando:
shethi
nksAv er
yisseei
ngsomef
ir
st
yeari
nhi
stut
orclass
Iswearmyhear tst
oppedbeat
ingforagood
2seconds.Aslongasshedoesn'
tknowt hatit
s
me.I'
m actuall
yannoyedwi
thAveryri
ghtnow,
heisbeingsloppyandit
snotl
ikewhenshi thi
ts
theroof
,hewil
l bet
heoneattacked.Thi
s
Aphelel
egir
landherfr
iendswil
lcomeatme
withgunsbl
azing
Li
yana:Abongi
wei
sinAv
ery
'st
utorsessi
on.
Fr
iend
Igoovert
ohersi
de,I
'mtremblingont
hei
nsi
de
butI
'
m keepi
ngastr
aightface
Kwando:
doyouknowwhot
hebi
tcht
hat
'
s
sl
eepi
ngwit
hAveryi
s?
Ishr
ugmyshoulders,
Ijustf
eel
li
ket
her
eisno
needfornamecal
li
ngthough
Li
yana:ai
butAphel
elei
sbr
avetoev
endat
e
Aver
y.Rememberhowhewaswhenhewasin
hi
ghschool?Suchamanwhore
Kwando:
all
Smi
thmenar
emenwhor
es
Li
yana:
ohwow.Ser
iousl
y?
Kwando:hayit
chinuyayazukubauyaf
ebamos
uShaun.Yeshelovesyoubutsti
ll
njeuyaf
eba
Li
yana:
fucky
ouKwando
WhenI'
m donepacki
ng,Ideci
deI'
l
ltakeat
axi
home,
Ineedabreakfrom Aver
yandhisdr
ama
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*4*
"Adaught
erneedsadadtobethest
andar
d
agai
nstwhichshewi
ll
judgeal
lmen"
ThemomentIgothome, Idroppedmybagon
thefloorandwrappedmyarmsar oundmydad.
I'
vebeenst r
uggli
ngsomucht oadjustfr
om
seeinghim ever
ydaytogoi
ngmont hswithout
seeinghim.I'
m notevengoi
ngt ol
ie,I
'
vemi ssed
him
Dad:
woahl ookatyou.Ar
eyoueveneat
ingat
t
hatvar
sit
yplace?Youlooksoski
nny
Me:lol
hawbabaI'
m notski
nny,
infactIt
hinkI
gai
nedali
tt
lewei
ghtbutyesIam eat
ing
Him:andareyoucopi
ng?Wi
thschool
andl
i
fe
awayfrom home?
Me:Iam dad.Ir
eal
l
yam butdoesn'
tmeanI
don'
tmissyou
Hesmi les,Isti
llseethepr idehehasi nme
everyt i
mehel ooksatme.Il ivetomaket his
manhappy ,al
lthesacr if
iceshehasdonej ust
formet ogetaneducat ionwhenhest il
l
str
uggl estor eadsi mplegr ade1Engl ishbooks
becausehenev erwentt oschool .Beinga
parentissomet hingelseandI '
m gratefulfor
mine, IjusthopeInev erdisappointhim.Af ter
putti
ngmybagsaway ,Igetstartedonsupper
whileplay i
ngmusi c,Ihadt oputmyphoneon
air
planemodebecauseAv erywoul dn'tstop
call
ing.Imaker iceandmi ncethendi shupf or
us,weal wayseati nf r
ontoft heTV
Dad:
Idi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwer
egoi
ngt
ocomeback
Me:whywouldn'
tI?I
tst
woweeksandDur
ban
i
sn'
tfarf
rom her
e
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowAbongi
we,
youv
arsi
tyki
dsdo
t
hewei
rdestoft
hings
Me: t
rustmedad.I
'mt
heretostudyandi
f
schooliscl
osedt
henI
'
llbeathome
Henods, wecat chuponchur chthi
ngsand
whatI'
vemi ssedar oundoursect i
onwhileI'
ve
beengone.Thr oughoutmychi l
dhoodmydad
hasbeenmyf ri
end, myfather,mymot herand
ever
ythi
ngel seI'v
eev erneededandi t
'snotthat
heisstr
ictbutitsmyr espectf orhi
mthat
makesitseem asi fhei sstr
ict
Dad:I
'm goi
ngt obed,
youwil
lwatchthese
gener
ati
ont hi
ngsonyourown.Ihaveworkin
themorning
Me:
lol
OKgoodni
ghtdad
Him:goodni
ghtbaby
.Il
oveyouAbongi
wemy
chi
ldandI'
m happyt
hatyouar
ehome
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oodad.
Heki
ssesmyf
orehead,
leav
ingmewi
thasmi
l
e
ashegoest ohisroom.Nowt hatI'
m boredon
myown, Itur
noffairpl
anemodeandt hetext
s
star
tfl
oodingin,mostl
yfrom Av er
yandLwakho.
Idon'
trespond,i
nsteadIclearupint hekit
chen
thenwatchTV.Whenmyphoner i
ngsit'
s
LwakhoandIanswer
Me:
heybuddy
Lwakho:fi
nal
l
y.I
sther
enonet
wor
kther
eint
he
townshi
p
Me:
youar
egoi
ngt
oannoyme
Hi
m:l
olsot
ense.How'
shome?How'
syourdad?
Me: homei
sgoodandmydadi
swel
l
.I'
m gl
ad
I
'm homehey
Hi
m:l
uckyy
ou.Ihav
eabonet
opi
ckwi
thy
ou
Me:
wit
hme?Whathav
eIdone?
Hi
m: whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouadat
ingmy
br
other
?
Ser
iousl
yAv
ery
?It
sasi
fhei
sthegi
rli
nthi
s
r
elat
ionshi
p,can'
tkeept
hingst
ohi
msel
f
Me:
wher
edi
dyougetf
rom?
Him:hehasbeenmoppi ngsi
nceyouleft
,
apparent
lyhewassupposedtotakeyouhome
thensuddenl
yyoustoppedansweri
nghiscal
l
s.
Me:
that
'sdoesn'
tmeanwear
edat
ing
Hi
m: dudehetol
dmeyouguy
saredati
ngbut
whatbother
smeist
hatwhyyoudi
dn'
ttel
lme
Me:Idi
dn'
ttel
lanyone,
Idi
dn'
twantt
he
j
udgmentofdati
ngaguywithagi
rl
fr
iend
Hi
m:wowAbongi
we
Thethi
ngwit
hLwakhoi st
hathenevercal
lsme
bymyfull
name,healwaysusesthatni
ckname
hegavemethatIhat
esonowt hatheiscall
i
ng
mebymyf ul
lname,IknowIfuckedup
Hi
m: wel
lI'
m gl
ady
ouar
eOK,
wewi
l
ltal
ksome
ot
herti
me
Hedi
dn'
twai
tformet
orespond,
hej
usthung
up.Af t
erwatchingUzal oItookabathandwent
tobed, Iwasemot i
onall
yandphy si
cal
lydrained.
IjustwishIwasn' tfal
li
nginlovewithAverysoI
canwal kawayf rom thiswholemessbef oreit
blowsupi nmyf acebutt hewayhemakesme
feelint
ensif
ieswi theachpassingday.I
'm
wokenupbymyphoner i
nging,
Icheckthe
call
erIDandi t
sAv ery
Me:
It'
slat
eAv
ery
Av
ery
:I'
m sor
ry
Me:
whatar
eyousor
ryabout
?
Him:
whateverIdi
dthat
'smaki
ngy
ouhat
eme
somuch.I
'm sor
ry
Isi
gh,Icantel
lbyt
hesoundofhisvoi
cet
hathe
i
sdrunk,ther
eisnoot
herreasonwhyHewould
becal
lingmeatmidni
ght
Me:Idon'that
eyou,
Iwantt
ohat
eyoubutI
don'
thateyou
Hi
m:thenwhat
'
sgoingon?Youjustswi
tched
uponmethenyouwoul
dn'
ttakemycall
s
Me:Idon'
twanttotal
kaboutt
hisov
erthe
phone.Wewil
ltal
kwhenIgetbacktoDur
ban
Him:fuckno.I
'
m comingtheret
omorr
ow.I
needtoseeyouAbongiwe,youl
eftwi
thout
sayi
nggoodbye.Imi
ssy ou
Me:
youcan'
tcomeher
e
Hi
m:wat
chme.I
'
llcal
lyout
omor
row.
Hehungupl eavi
ngmewi t
hmymout hopen
andal lmysleepgone.Nahmanhewon' tcome
here,heknowshowmuchr espectIhav eformy
father.ThenextdayIpreparedbathwat erand
breakfastformydadandaf terheleft,
Iwent
backt obed.Itwassti
ll
earlybutIfiguredsince
LiyanaisatShaun'ssheshouldbeupbynowso
Itextedher
Me:
fri
end
Li
yana:l
ookwhof
inal
l
ydeci
dedt
oswi
tchher
phoneon
Me:l
olyesyesl
et'
smov
eal
ong.Howar
eyou
andShaun?
Her
:mxm wear
eci
vi
l,
I'
mjusther
etospend
t
imewit
hmyson
Me:t
hat'
sgoodIguess.Ineedt
otel
lyou
somet
hing
Her
:lol
Iknowy
ouandAv
eryar
edat
ing
Fat
herGod,
Jesusalmightykant
iwhati
swr
ong
wit
hthi
sguy.Ser
iousl
ythough
Me:sot
hatmeansKwandoandAphel
eleal
so
know
Her
:nah.Iknowbecausehecal
l
edmeaski
ng
f
oryourhomeaddress
Me:hesay
sheiscomingov
erher
e.Doy
ou
t
hinkhewoul
ddothat
?
Her
:Av
eryi
scr
azysopr
obabl
yhewi
l
l.Ar
eyou
guy
sfi
ght
ingorsomet
hing?
Me:
I'
ll
updateyoulatermngani
.Letmegetup.
Wewil
ltal
k.Imissyou
Her
:mi
ssy
out
oof
ri
end
Itwas12:33whenmyphoner angwi t
hAv ery
aski
ngf ormyaddr ess,
Igaveittohim and
10minslaterhesaidhewasatt hetaxist
op.I
wasalreadywearingdenim shortsthatcame
j
ustabov ethekneeandaT- shirtsoIjustput
myf l
opson, l
ockedupandwentt ohim.Igoti n
thepassengerseat
Me:
dri
ve
Av
ery
:wher
eto?
Me:
Idon'
tknowbutdr
iveawayf
rom her
e
Hedrovet
oanothersect
ionofthet
ownship,
far
f
rom wher
eIstayandparkedataparkwhere
l
it
tl
ekidswher
eplayi
ng
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Him:Icametoseeyousowecant
alk.What
happenedy
ester
day
?
Idi
dn'
twanttolookathi
m becauseIknowifI
l
ookathimI'm goi
ngtof
orgetwhyI'
m even
madathim andendupbeingputt
yinhishands.
Ienduppl
ay i
ngwithmyfi
ngers
Hi
m:Abongi
wej
ustt
alkt
ome.Pl
ease
Hi
svoi
cesoundedexhaust
edanddef
eat
ed
Me:Aphel
eleknowsy ouarecheat
ingonher
wi
thme.Wel lshedoesn'
tknowit'
smebutit
s
j
ustamatterofti
me
Him:Iknow.Shewentthr
oughmyphone.Look
babythi
schangesnothi
ngabouthowIfeel
aboutyouanditsur
eashell
changesnothi
ng
aboutus
Me:
whati
fshecomesaf
terme?Whatt
hen?
Him:nooneisgoingt
ocomeaf t
eryou.Just
don'
tstr
essaboutAphel
ele.Icanhandl
eherOK
Me:
OKf
ine
Hi
m: good.Nowcomeher
eandgr
eety
ourman
pr
operl
y
Ismiledashepulledmet owardshim andI
endedupont opofhim withmyl egsoneither
si
deofhi sbody.Wekissedslowlyforalong
ti
mewi thhishandsrestedfi
rmlyonmybut t
,I
star
tedfeel
ingmy sel
fgetti
ngwetbutIdidn't
stopunti
lIfel
tsomethingpokingmeonmy
j
eans
Hi
m:whydi
dyoust
op?
Hiseyeswer
esmal
landr
edandhi
svoi
cewas
husky
Me:
youruhm y
ourt
hing
Helookedatthespacebetweenuswher ehi
s
uhm thingwasst
andingatatt
enti
onand
becausehewaswear ingsweat
pants,
therewas
nohidingit
Hi
m:l
olsor
ryaboutt
hat
.
Iwentbackt ot hepassengerseat ,hebought
meal otofjunkf oodbeforehel ef tforDurban,
wemadeadeal thatI'
dgobackt oDur banina
weeki nsteadoft wo.Lov ecanmakeaper son
doal otofcr azyt hings,j
ustyest erdayIwant ed
nothingtodowi thhim andnowwegoodagai n.
Ireall
yloveAv erybutI '
m notgoi ngt osayi t
beforehedoes, Idon'twanttoendupwi t
hegg
onmyf ace.We' v ebeent ogetherf oramont h
nowandmay beI '
m mov ingtoof astwi ththe
feel
ingsbuthei smyf ir
stboy fr
iend, Ihaveno
onet ocompar ehi mt osoI '
m goi ngt oenjoy
thi
sf oraslongasIcan.
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*5*
"I
'
m scar
edtolov
eyoubutI
'
m ev
enmor
e
scar
edtowalkaway
"
Aswegr
owupwef acesomanyconf
li
cts,
doI
putf
ami
l
yfi
rstandmymansecondordoIput
mymanf i
rstandmyf ami l
ysecond?Lookati t
thisway ,fami lywi llalway sbet here,they'
vehad
yourbackbef orey ouev enknewwhatamani s
butt henagai n, youcan' tbuildafami lyofyour
ownwi thf ami l
y.Itsabi tt
ersweett wisted
adv enturet hisl ifething, i
tcomeswi t
hno
manual andnoi nstructions.Ihadt olietomy
father,mi ndy ouI 'venev erliedtot hatmani n
myl ifebutnowIhadt ol i
etohi mj ustsoIcoul d
gobackt oDur banear lyandbecauseIsai dit
s
school related, heal lowedmebutIcoul deasil
y
spott hepai ni nhi sey es.Myhear tsankt othe
pitofmyst omachbutwhat 'sdonei sdone.
WhenIgotof fthet axi i
nDur ban,Averywas
alreadywai tingt opi ckmeup.Reswascl osed
soIwasgoi ngt obespendi ngt heweekathi s
fl
at ,myf atherwoul dbesodi sappointedinme
ri
ghtnow
Av
ery
:ar
eyouOK?Youseem abi
tdi
stant
Me:
Ihat
ethatIl
i
edt
omydad
Him:Iunder
standbabe.I
tcan'
tbeeasyfory
ou
butI
'
m gladyouarehere.Weneedtofi
xus
Il
ookathi m andsmile,maybei fIkeepmeet i
ng
him hal
fway ,
hewil
lreali
zethathedoesn' tneed
bothmeandAphel eleandbr eakupwi thher.
Wegett akeawaysthendrivetot heflatwhere
wef i
ndLwakhoandHal ey.Thingsbet ween
LwakhoandIar esti
llabittensesincet hat
phonecallandIneedt ofi
xt hat,heisn'
taf ri
end
I'
dwantt olose
Me:
heyguy
s
They
:hey
Ipl
acet
hefoodint
heki
tchenwhi
l
eAv
eryput
s
mybaginhi
sroom
Me:
Lwakhocanwet
alkf
orasecond?
Hecomest ot
hekit
chen,
leansagai
nstt
hewal
l
atadi
stancef
rom me
Me:
I'
m sor
ryf
orwhatIsai
dtheot
herday
.I
knowyouwouldn'
tjudgeme,i
tsj
ustt
hatI
guessmyownguiltiswhatmademekeepthe
wholet
hingasecr
et.
Lwakho:If
orgi
veyoubutI
'
m wor
ri
edaboutyou.
Areyousureyouknowwhaty
ouaredoi
ng?
Ishrugmyshoul ders,Ihavezer
oideaonwhat
I'
m doingbutI'
mj ustfoll
owingmyheart
,bei
ng
withAv er
yiswhatf eel
sright
Him:justbecaref
ul.Pl
easejustbecar
efuland
don'
tdoany t
hingyoudon'twanttodojustin
thenameofl ove
Itakemybot t
om li
pbet weenmyt eet
handnod.
Ialreadyf eell
ikethi
sr el
ati
onshipi
schanging
me, notphy si
cal
lybutmor al
lyandIdon'
tthink
I'
ml iki
ngt hepersonI'm becoming.Aver
ywal ks
i
n, picksmeupandpl acesmeont hecounter
thenki ssesmynose
Lwakho:
getar
oom guy
s
Het
henwal
ksoutt
heki
tchent
ohi
sgi
rl
fr
iendi
n
thelounge.I
'
m notsureifI
'
mv ibi
ngHaleyor
nah,sheisallsweetwhenLwakhoisaround
andIhav eafeeli
ngsheistot
all
ydif
fer
entwhen
heisn't
Av
ery
:di
dyouandy
ourf
ri
endmakeup?
Me:
yep
Him:good.Idon'
tevenunderst
andwhyyou
di
dn'
ttell
him orLi
yana.Thesearey
ourpeopl
e
babe
Me:
canIbehonest
?
Him:soundsser
ious.Let
'sgot
omyr
oom,
I
don'
tthem t
ohearus
HepicksmeupandeventhoughIpr
otest
,he
car
ri
esmet ohi
sroom andpl
acesmeont he
bedthenl
aysnextt
ome
Hi
m:t
alkt
ome
Me:
Idon'
twantt
oshar
eyouany
mor
e
Hef
rownst
hensi
tsup,
Ican'
treadhi
s
expr
essi
ons
Hi
m:y
ouwantmet
obr
eakupwi
thAphe?
Inod.IknowIsounddesperatebutt
hisi
sn'
t
howIpictur
edmyf i
rstr
elat
ionshi
pand
somethinghasgott
ochange
Hi
m:OKIwi
l
l
Me:
justl
i
ket
hat
?
Hi
m:babyItol
dyouthatrelat
ionshi
pisov
erit
s
j
ustt
hati
t'
snotoff
ici
alyet.Nowcomeher e
Hel i
ft
edmet ogetont opofhi m andwest art
ed
ki
ssing,Ireall
yenjoyki ssinghim,ifi
twasupt o
mewewoul dspendev erymomentki ssing,
crazyIknow.Hepul ledmyT- shi
rtovermyhead
andmyhear tstartedracingandwhenhi sli
ps
madecont actwithmyneckImadeasoundI
hadnev ermadebef ore.Wai twasImoani ng?
Myhear tbeatincreasedwhenhest art
ed
unbuttoni
ngmyj eanst heninoneswi f
tmov eI
wasunderhi m andmyj eanswer ecomi ngoff
.
Hishandsallovermynakedski nwasmaki ng
mef eelwavesofelectri
cit
yallov ermybody
andthefeeli
ngofhisbul geagainstmypant i
es
wasEnoughf ormet or el
easeanot hermoan,
thi
sonewasl ouder.Whenhest ar t
edmoving
ontopofme, isweart houghtiwasgoi ngtocry
,
that
'showgoodi tf
elt.Wecont inuedkissi
ng
unti
lhestoppedwhi l
eIwasst i
ll enjoy
ingi
t
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Ifol
l
owedhi sey
estowheretheywer
eleadi
ng
me,thetenti
nhisj
eans,
Ifel
tmycheeks
heati
ngup
Me:
oh
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oubaby
Helov
esme, Idi
dn'
thav
et osayi
tfi
rstorf
orce
i
toutofhi
m buthefi
nal
lysai
dit
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hebr
oughthi
sli
pst
omeagai
nandweki
ssed
thenhet ookhisT-shir
tof ffoll
owedbyhi sj
eans.
Whenhesl i
ppedhishandi nmypant iesand
startedrubbingonmycooki ejar,
Ifeltf
orei
gn
thingsallovermybody ,therearesomany
amazi ngthingshappeningt hatIdi
dn'tknow
whi chtofocusont hemost .Whenhet ri
ed
pullingmypant i
esoff,Iheldont ohishand
Hi
m:babe
Me:
I'
m notr
eadyAv
ery
Hi
m:y
ounotr
eady
?
Me:
yes.Idon'
twantt
ogetpr
egnant
Hi
m:Ihav
econdomsAbongi
we
Me:l
et'
swaitforawhi
l
e.Idon'
twantt
orush
i
ntoanyt
hing
Hegotofme, huff
edinfrustr
ationandthr
ew
myT- shi
rtatmethenhegotdr essedwhil
eIsat
t
herei nmybraandpantystari
ngathim.I
wantedtocrybecauseIdidn'
tunderst
andwhy
hewasangr
y.I'
m notreadyf
orallofthat
.It
woul
dkil
lmyfatheri
fIgotpregnant
Him:sohowlongmustIwait
?Youwantmeto
breakupwi
thAphel
eleyety
ouarenotr
eadyt
o
havesexwi
thme
Me:
wow
Itookmycl othesandwentt ohisbathroom.I
gotdressedt hensatandcr i
edonthet oil
etseat.
Howcoul dhebesomeanandhor ri
bl eaf ew
minutesaf t
erhesai dhelovesme?Iwashur t
byhiswor dsbutt heymademeappr eciat
eev en
mor ethatIdidn'tdoanythi
ngwit
hhi mt oday.
Afterawhi l
et herewasaknockont hedoorand
hewal kedin,Idon'tevenknowwhyIdi dn'tl
ock.
Hekneel edinf r
ontofmebutIdidn'twantt o
l
ookathi m
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
rybaby
.Iwasaj
erkf
orsay
ingt
hat
.
Me:j
ustdon'
tpushme.We'veonlybeen
t
oget
herforamonth.Idon'
twanttorusht
hings
Hetookmyhandandwewentbackt
othebed,
hecover
eduswit
hat hr
owandmademerest
myheadonhischest
Him:Il
oveyoubaby.Imeantt
hat
,Iwasn'
t
sayi
ngitj
ustsoyou'
dhavesexwi
thme
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Wespentt hewholeweekt al
ki
ng,get
tingto
knoweachot herandjusthavi
ngfun,weshared
thebedandatf i
rsti
twasal i
ttl
eweir
df orme
butIgotusedtoitandwhatmademehappyi s
thathedi
dn'ttr
ytopressuremet osl
eepwi t
h
him.OnSundayhet ookmebackt or
es
Me:
youar
egoi
ngt
obr
eakupwi
thherr
ight
?
Avery:y
esbabyI'
m goi
ngtoherr
ightnowand
I
'm endi
ngtherel
ati
onshi
p
Me:
OK.Letmego
Hi
m:y
oucan'
tl
eav
ewi
thoutmyki
ss
Me:
ther
ear
epeopl
ear
ound
Wewerest
andi
ngoutsi
dethecar
,hi
shands
wentt
omywaistandhepull
edmeclosert
o
hi
m
Hi
m:f
uckt
hepeopl
e
Weshar edaslowki
ssandwhenItr
iedpul
li
ng
back,hewouldn'
tl
etmeunt
ilhewassati
sfi
ed
thenhepeckedmylips
Hi
m:I
'
llcal
lyoul
ater
Ihadt
hebi
ggestsmi
l
eonmyf
ace
Me:
OK
Thatev
eni
ngLiyanacamebackfrom Shaun'
s
pl
aceandfoundmeont hebed,
text
ingawayon
myphone
Li
yana:
arey
ougoi
ngt
ocampust
omor
row?
Me:
yeahwhy
?
Her
:don'
tgot
her
e
Igotupandwal
kedov
ert
ohersi
de,
what
'
sthi
s
aboutnow?
Me:
whynot
?
Her
:Aphel
eleandhercr
ewar
egunni
ngf
ory
ou
Me:
what
?
Her:
someonesentherapi
cofy
ouandAv
ery
ki
ssi
ng
ArgIdon'
tcar
eabouther,
Av er
yprobabl
yhas
alr
eadybr
okenupwithherthat
'swhyshewants
tobeatmeupnow
Me: hayimnganI'
m goi
ngtocampust omorr
ow,
Ican'tnotgotoschool
justbecauseoft
hatgi
rl
.
Her
:OKbutbecar
eful
I'
vebeenheari
ngt hatphr
asesomuchlat
ely
,
someonei sal
wayswar ni
ngmeabout
somethinganditalwayshassomet
hingt
odo
withAvery
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*6*
"Someti
mesyouhavetostopthi
nki
ngsomuch
andjustgowher
eyourheartt
akesyou"
IwenttocampusthenextdayandasmuchasI
wasscaredofwhatApheleleandhercr ew
coulddotome,Icamet ogetaneducat ionand
comehellorhi
ghwater,nothi
ngwi l
lstopme.
OnWednesdayIhadat utorsessionwithAv er
y,
hehasbeenacti
ngstrangelatel
y,nottakingmy
call
sandsometimesnotevenr espondingtomy
text
s.
Me:
hey
Thiswasnowaf t
erthesessi
on,
hewasal l
tensedupdespi
tethatwewerealoneand
everyonehadl
eft
Av
ery
:heybabe
Hepull
edmei nforahugthenkissedmy
f
oreheadandsmi l
ed.Myheartmelted,
thisguy
i
smydef i
nit
ionofperf
ect
,helooksperfectand
hi
shear
tisj
ustper
fect
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m: I
'
m sorr
ymylov
e,I
'
vebeenst
udy
ingl
i
ke
cr
azyfort
hesecomi
ngt
est
s
Me:
ohIj
ustt
hought
Hepecksmyl i
psandsmi l
es.Inev
ertol
dhim
aboutAphel
elewantingmedeadandhealso
nevertol
dmewhet herhewentthr
oughwit
h
breaki
ngupwithher
Him:youst
resst
oomuchbabe.Justr
elax
,I'
m
your
sandIlovey
ou
Me:
itsj
ustt
hat
..
.
Hi
m:r
elaxAbongi
we.Rel
ax
Ismil
ethennod.Istareathi
m ashepackshi
s
thi
ngsaway ,
helookssosexyinthosebl
ack
ri
ppedjeansandblackandwhiteG-st
arT-
shi
rt
.
Hehassuchasexyt onedbody
Hi
m:l
oly
ouar
est
ari
ng
Me:
youar
esexy
Hi
m:l
olt
hanksbabe.Let
'sgo
Hetakesmyhandi nt
ohisandwewal koutof
thel
ecturehal
ltowar
dshiscar,t
hisi
sthefi
rst
ti
mehehashel dmyhandi npubli
concampus,
myhear ti
sraci
ngbutthesmil
eonmyf ace
showshowhappyIam aboutt hi
s.Myphone
ri
ngsaswegeti ntot
hecar
Me:
heybuddy
Lwakho:
wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
I'
mleav
ingcampus
Hi
m:wher
eto?
It
urnt
olookatAv
eryandaskhi
m wher
ewear
e
of
ftoo
Me:
yourpl
ace
Hi
m:badi
dea.Aphel
elei
sher
ewi
thKwando
Me:
so?Idon'
tcar
eaboutt
hosepeopl
e
Him:hav
ey ouforgottenthaty
ouar edati
ngmy
br
othert
hathappenst obeAphelel
e'sboyfr
iend.
Abongspleasedon'tcomeher eespecial
l
ysi nce
Aver
yisnothere
Isi
gh,Idon'tt
hinkIhavetheenergytodealwi
th
Aver
yandAphel eleandtheirdramasoItel
l
LwakhoI'
llbeheadingtoresandhecalms
down.Suchadr amakingt hatone
Me:onsecondt
houghtspl
easej
ustdr
opmeof
f
atr
es.Ihav
eaheadache
Av
ery
:what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:nothi
ng.Ihav
eaheadache.I
tsbeenal
ong
dayandIhaveaheadache
Hi
m:Idon'
tappr
eci
atebei
ngl
i
edt
oAbongi
we
Me:
wel
lnei
therdoI
Him:what
'st
hatsupposedt
ome?I
'
venev
er
l
iedt
oy ou
Me:
mxm what
ever
Whenwegott ores,Idi dn'
tev enwai tforhimt o
saygoodby e, Ijustgotoutt hecarandwent
strai
ghtt omyr oom.It ookt wopai nkil
lersjust
tohelpmesl eept henIgoti nbed.Iwashur t
ing,
especiallybecausedespi tehiml yingtome
aboutbr eakingupwi t hAphel ele,Isti
lll
ovehi m
andIknowhel ov esmet oo,it
sj ustthatIdon' t
understandt hi sholdt hatthisAphel elegirlhas
onhim, may bei tsbecauseshegi veshi m sex
andIdon' t.Wel li
fthat'sthecase, I
'm notabout
tobargai nwi thmyv i
rgi ni
tyjustforthesakeof
keepingAv ery.Itwillbeonl ywhenI '
mr eady
thatI'
llgiveitupt ohim.I 'm wokenupbymy
phoner inging, Iknowt hiscouldonl ybeLwakho
ormydadbecauseIputAv ery'snumberont he
rej
ectlistwhenIgoti near li
er.Icheckt hecal ler
IDandi tsmydad
Me:
baba
Dad:
Abongi
wehowar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m OKdadandhowar
eyou?
Him:I'
m wel
l.Ar
eyousurey
ouareOK?
Becauseyoudon'
tsoundOKtome
Thismancanr eadmel i
keabook,
heknows
whenI'm pr
etendi
ngtobeOKwhenI '
m not
,he
knowswhatmakesmehappyonday swhereby
Ifeel
li
kecrap.Hejustknowsme
Me:Ithi
nkI
'
m comi
ngdownwi
thf
lu,
mynosei
s
bl
ocked
Hi
m:ohgetsomer
estandgot
othedoct
or
Me:
Iwi
l
lbaba.Il
ovey
oubaba
Icanfeel
him smil
i
ngontheot
herendofthe
l
ineandthat
'senought
ofil
lmyhear
twit
hjoy
Hi
m:Iloveyouev
enmoreAbongi
we.Keepwel
l
.
Weshall
tal
kagai
ntomor
row
Ihangupandsi gh,Ihat
ehav i
ngtoli
et omydad
butIcan'
texactl
ytellhi
mt hatmyboyfriendisa
l
yingasshole.Amont hpasseswit
houtAv er
y
andItal
king,hetri
estotal
kt omeduringt he
tutorsessionsbutIj ustblowhi m off
, i
fhef i
nds
meathi sfl
atwi thLwakho, Ileaveimmedi at
ely
.
Theguysol dmedr eams, het oldmehewas
goingt obreakupwi ththisAphel elepersonof
his,thathelovesmeandt hathei smi ne.Allof
thatwasj ustabunchofl i
esandasmuchasI
mi sshiml i
kecr azy,Ican'tdeal withtheliesand
thedr ama.Examsar ef astappr oachingso
todayI '
m studyinginmyr oom atr eswi th
Liyanasincei t
'scoldandr aining
Li
yana:
soy
ouguy
sar
ereal
l
yov
er?
Me: y
es.Wel
lhedoesn'
twantt
oaccepti
tbut
I
'm donewi
thhi
m
Her:mnganibutIknowy oul
ovetheguyandt he
wayhekeepspest er
ingyougoestoshowt hat
helovesyoutoo.Igr
ewupwi thAvery,
yeshe
hasalwaysbeenaplayerbuthehasalways
beenhotandhedoesn' tr
unaft
ergir
lsthat
dumphi m.
Me:ohwel
lgoodf
orhi
m,I
'
m donewi
thhi
m
t
hough
West udi
edforawhi le,mostofthedayactually
andthat'
simpr essiveconsideri
ngthati
tsFriday.
Liy
anasuggest edt hatweshoul dl
oosenup,
Shaunwant stot akeusoutcl ubbi
ng.Nowt he
thi
ngaboutmei st hatI'
veneverbeentoaclub,
Idon'tev
ent hi
nkIhav eanythi
ngtowearthat '
s
appropri
ateforacl ub
Li
yana:
I'
ll
sor
tyououtwi
thwar
drobe.
Me:
Idon'
tknowhowt
owal
kinheel
s
Her:
pumpswi l
lbef
inewi
tht
hedr
essIhav
ein
mindandShaunwil
lbewi
thhi
sbr
other
,
Kwando'
stwin
Irol
lmyey es,
amal eversi
onofKwando.The
thoughti
senought omakemewantt ov omiti
n
mymout h.Wegetr eadyandinafewmi nutes
Shaunisoutsi
de.Shehugst heguys,
kisses
Shaunforthelongestti
me.Ididsaythesetwo
wi
l
lexhausty
ouwi
tht
hei
rst
upi
dfi
ght
s
Li
yana:
Kwandsthi
sismyfri
endandroommat
e
Abongi
we.Mngani
thi
sisShaun'
sbrot
her
Kwandi
le
Ismileandweshar eahug, anotherhotSmith
boy.Hedoesn'tcomecl osetoAv erybutheis
hotyenashame, looksl
ikeKwandobutdoesn' t
soundlikeheratall
.Wegot ocubana, order
vi
rgincocktai
lsbecauseonlyKwandi l
eand
Shaunar et
hedr i
nkershere,Li
yanaandIar enot
aboutthatl
ife
Kwandi
l
e:sowher
ear
eyouf
rom Abongi
we?
Hehasadeepsexyv
oiceandt
hosebedr
oom
l
azyeyes
Me:Esi
khawi
ni.
..
it
sat
ownshi
psoIdoubty
ou
knowwheret
hatis
Hel
aughs
Hi
m:ar
eyoual
way
ssoj
udgment
al?
Me:I'
m notj
udgment
albutIknowy
ouare
Xhosasohowwouldyouknowasmall
townshi
pinKZN
Hi
m: I
'
vebeenthereonceortwice,
mycousi
n
l
iv
estherenow.Shehasabigauditi
ngf
ir
min
Empangeni
.AnqobeAudit
ors.Doyouknowi
t?
Ial
mostchokeonmydr i
nk,t
hepersont
hat
cameupwiththewords"i
tsasmallwor
ld"
knewexact
lywhathewastal
kingabout
.
Me:Iknowi
tbutIdon'
tknowt
heowner
s.They
ar
epay i
ngf
ormystudi
es
Hi
m:y
oumustbepr
ett
ysmar
tint
hatcase
Ismi l
eandenjoytherestoft henightj
ust
tal
kingtoKwandil
eandget ti
ngtoknowabi t
abouthim whi
lethelov ebir
dskeepsucki ng
face.Suddenl
yIneedt opeeandheadt ot he
bathroom,whenIwal koutmyey eslandon
Avery,heiswi
thAphel ele,
Kwando, Wandi l
eand
somegi rl
I'
veneverseenbef ore.Iwishthe
groundcoul dopenupandswal l
owme, he
doesn'tseemeasIr ushov ert
oourt able,
I
don'tknowwhathur tsmethemostbet ween
knowingt hathereal
l
ydi dl
i
et omeorseei ng
him withAphelel
ewhi l
emyhear tbeatsforhi
m
Kwandi
l
e:ar
eyouOK?
Inodandshakemyheadatt
hesamet
ime,
I
feelmytear
sthr
eat
eni
ngtor
oll
downmy
cheeks
Me:
guy
sdoy
oumi
ndi
fIl
eav
e?
Liy
ana:
leav
e?Why
?It
houghty
ouwer
ehav
ing
fun
Me:
lookov
eratt
hebar
Shet
urnsherheadar
oundandspot
sthem and
pi
tyf
il
lsherey
es
Li
yana:
OKl
et'
sgoguy
s
Me:youguyscanst
ay,
I'
ll
takeacabor
somethi
ng
Li
yana:
arey
ousur
emngani
?
Befor
eIcoul
danswer,If
eltsomeonehoveri
ng
meandIdidn'
tev
enhav etotur
naroundto
knowwhoitwasbecausehisscentj
ustf
ill
ed
ourwhol
etabl
e
Aver
y:heyguy
s.KwandsIdi
dn'
tknowy
ouwer
e
i
ntown
Kwandil
egetsup,giveshi
m amanlyhug,r
ight
nowIjustwanttoleavesoIgetup,
takemy
phoneandjacket
Me:
thanksf
ort
oni
ghtguy
s.Ir
eal
l
yhadf
un
Shaun:
weshoul
ddoi
tagai
nsomet
ime
Kwandi
le:
probabl
ybef
oreIhav
etol
eav
efor
CapeTown
Ismil
easheget
suptogi
vemeahugt
hen
Shaunget
supaswel
l
Li
yana:
letmewal
kyouout
Av
ery
:I'
l
lwal
kherout
Me:
noi
tsf
ine.I
'
llbeOKonmyown
Iwalktowardstodoorandofcour seAvery
foll
owsme.Hej ustwantshisgi
rl
friendtofuck
meup, that'
sallthi
sis.Whenwegother ether
e
wereal otofcabsjustchi
ll
ingoutsideandnow
thatIneedone,thereIsn'
toneinsight
Av
ery
:pl
easel
etmet
akey
ouhome
Me:
no
Him:Abongiweplease.Youaregoi
ngt
obe
wait
inghereforf
oreverbefor
eacabshowsup
anditscol
d
Hewasn'tl
yingabouti
tbeingcold,
itsal
most
wint
erandtherai
nfrom earl
i
erisn'
tcomplet
ely
gone
Me:
fine
Wewalktowardshi
scar,
heopensthedoorfor
meandIgetin.Myhear
tisl
i
teral
l
ybeati
ngin
mythr
oatri
ghtnowandIcanfeelhowhekeeps
gl
ancingatmybar ethi
ghsbecausethi
sdressI
gotf
rom Liyanabarel
yreachest
heknees.He
cl
earshisthroatandIknowheisabouttosay
something
Hi
m:y
oul
ookni
ce
Me:
thanks
Hemi
ssesthetur
ntomyr
esanddr
ives
t
owar
dshisfl
at
Me:
wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngmeAv
ery
?
Hi
m: wherewecantal
k.Aft
erwearedone
t
alki
ng,I
'
lltakey
oubacktoresIpr
omise
Me:Idon'
twantt
otal
ktoy
ouAv
erySmi
th.Just
l
eav
emeal one
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.Ican'
tj
ustl
eav
eyoual
one
Wegettothefl
atandwegoi n,st
raighttohi
s
r
oom becauseI'
m col
dandtheloungei s
f
reezi
ng.Hetossesmeafleeceblanket
Me:
I'
m notgoi
ngt
osl
eepher
e
Hi
m:Iknowbaby
Me:
don'
tcal
lmet
hat
Him: OKj
ustt
ell
mewhatIdi
dwrongsoIcan
fi
xitandwecangobackt
owhatweusedtobe.
Please
Me:
got
oAphel
ele
Hesighsashet akesoffhi
sjacketf
oll
owedby
hi
sT-shir
t,Iswall
owspitwhenIseehisabs,hi
s
bodyissofreakentonedandsosexythenhe
getsunderthefl
eeceandpullsmeclosert
o
hi
m
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowwhatmoreyouwantmetodo
t
oprovet
oy out
hatIl
ovey
ou.I'
m her
ewi
thyou,
wher
eisAphe?
Me:shei
ssti
ll
yourgi
rl
fr
iend,
yousai
dyouwi
l
l
br
eakupwit
hher
Him:It
ri
edandthenshecall
edmymom and
sheshout
edatmef orbr
eaki
ngAphel
ele'
shear
t.
Shepr
acti
cal
l
yfor
cedmet
ogetbackt
oget
her
wit
hher
Me:butyoudi
dn'
ttel
lmethat.Youmademe
bel
i
evethatIwasyouronl
yone
Hi
m:t
hat
'sbecausei
nmyhear
tyouar
e.I
pr
omi
seyou
Idi
dn'tr
espondbecausethemorehespoke,the
moreIbeli
evedhim.Idon'
tcareaboutAphel
ele,
helef
therattheclubandheisherewit
hme
ri
ghtnow.Hewant stobewit
hme
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oubaby
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hegotont opofme,st
aredatmef
orawhi
l
e
unt
ilIl
ookedawayshyl
y
Hi
m:y
ouar
esobeaut
if
ul
Wekissedwhilehetookmydressoff
,ithada
zipi
nthefrontsoi
twasn'
tsodiff
icul
tto
removeit
,mybr af
oll
owedbutwhenher eached
f
ormypant
ies,
Ist
oppedhi
m agai
n
Me:Iknowyouar
enotready
,Ijustwantt
o
pl
easurey
ou,wewon'
tdoanythingyoudon'
t
wanttodo
Inodded
Hi
m:y
out
rustmer
ight
?
Inoddedagai nasIl etgoofhi shandandmy
pantiescameof f.Heki ssedt hel owerhalfof
mybody ,st
art
ingf r
om myf eett owar dsmy
i
nnert hi
gh,gentlybiti
ngoni tandwhenhegot
tomycooki e,Iwasal readyhol dingmybr eath.
Histonguemadecont actwi thmycl itandI
moanedl oudlywhi l
ef i
stinghi scur lyhairand
holdinghisheadi nplace.Mybodyqui v
eredas
heat emeout ,I'
venev erfeltsuchi mmense
pleasureinmyl i
fe,Inev erwant edhi mt ostop.
WhenIf eltmybodyt enseup, remov edhis
tongue,repl
acingitwi t
haf ingerwhi chmade
memov eupont hebed
Hi
m:I
'
llbegent
le
Me:
don'
thur
tme
Hi
m:t
rustme
Heinserteditinme, gentl
ymov i
ngiti
nandout
whil
esucki ngandf l
icki
nghistongueovermy
cl
itunti
lIfelti
t,i
thitmel i
keawav eofever
y
amazingf eeli
ngthereisintheworl
d
Me:
Aveeeeer
ry
Mybodyj er
kedandshookuncont r
oll
ably,I
'v
e
neverfeltsomethingt hisamazingbef oreandI
nevernotwantt of eel i
teveragain.Hecleaned
meupusi nghi
st ongue, Iwasst i
llsensit
ivesoI
keptjerki
ngatthef eel ofhistongueonmy
cookie.Whenheki ssedmyl i
ps,Icouldtaste
my sel
fonhi m,weki ssedforawhi lethenhe
brokethekissandl ookedatme, hi
sey eswer e
redandsmal l
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Heheldmeinaspooni
ngposi
ti
on,Icoul
df eel
hi
serect
ionpr
essedonmynakedassthrough
hi
sjean
Him:sl
eepmyl ove,Iwantt
otakeaqui
ck
ShowerthenI
'
lljoi
ny ou.
Me:
ok
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*7*
"
Whatev
ery
oudo,
don'
trunbackt
owhatbr
oke
y
ou"
Ij
ustfinishedmyJuneexams, I
'm mentall
y
exhaustedbutatt hesamet i
meI'm exci
ted
aboutall t
hetimeI'm goingtobespendingwi t
h
mybae.Av eryandIhav ebeentogetherfor
3months, we'vedoneev eryt
hingexcepthaving
sexandal thoughIwasn' tmuchofaf anof
goingdownonhi m atfir
st,nowIthinkIenjoyi
t
becauseoft hepleasureitbri
ngstohi m.
Li
yana:
I'
m dr
eadi
ngt
hesehol
i
day
s
Me:
whyi
sthat
?
Wewer ecuddl
eduponherbedwat chi
ng
season3ofgossi pgirlwhil
ehavinghot
chocolateandpizza.Therainoutsi
deisthe
reasonwhywehav en'tgoneouttocelebr
ate
beingdonewi t
hex ams, wearebothnotclub
goinggirl
sbutwedogooutf ormoviesand
l
unchdat eswithAv er
yandShaun.
Her:Ihavetogohomeandmypar entsar
enot
partoftheShaunSmithf
ancl
ub.Theynever
for
gavehimf orget
ti
ngmepregnantatayoung
age
Me:i
tsbeensol
ongt
houghandt
heyl
ove
Mangir
ight
?
Her:t
heyadorehim andIknowShaunwon'tlet
megohomewi thhim andt
hisi
stheonlyti
me
I
'l
lgettospendtimewi t
hMangiwit
houthavi
ng
t
owor ryaboutschool
Me:Isaytal
ktoyourpar
ent
s,r
easonwit
hthem
aboutyouspendi
ngtwoweeksthi
ssi
deand2
weeksathome
Her:mydadwon'tal
lowthatandmom only
doeswhatdadsays.SometimesIj
ustwish
aunt
ieLwawasmymom, shei
sunderst
anding
andreasonabl
e.
AndIwi shIhadamom butIwasn' tgoingt o
sayt hatbecausei twoul dforcemet otalk
aboutherandIdon' tli
kedoingt hatandev eni fI
did,Idon' tknowany thingaboutherexceptt hat
shel ef tonemor ni
ngwhenIwas3mont hsold
andnev erlookedback.I tusedt obothermebut
Idon' tcar eanymor e, I
'
m doingwel lwit
houther .
At extcamet hroughonmyphonef r
om Lwakho
say i
ngt heyarehav ingachi l
lasathisplaceand
weshoul dcomet hrough.Ishowedi ttoLi y
ana
andshel i
terall
yjumpedoutofbedl eavingme
l
aughi ngonherbed, Ichangedi nt
oskinnyj eans,
sneaker sandabl acksweat erthenIwor ea
beani
e.Iwasst
il
lkeepi
ngmyhairnat
ural
butit
hasgrownandhasbecomedi
ff
icultt
ocontr
ol
Liy
ana:mngani
I'm goi
ngtogetmyhai
rdone
tomorr
owandy ouarecomingwit
h
Iscr
atchmyaf
roandlookather
.Idon'
thave
moneytodomyhairher
eandIli
kemyhai rasi
t
i
s
Me:
I'
m br
okemngani
Her
:Av
eryi
sn'
t.Let
'sgo
Me:Ican'
taskhi
mformoney
.I'
m notagol
d
di
gger
Werushtogetint
othecarbecausei
tsrai
ning
cat
sanddogsthenshedriv
esust oLwakho
andAver
y'
sflat
Her:i
tsnotbei
ngagol
ddigger
,youwanttodo
yourhai
randyouar
ebroke.Heisyourman,
he
canhelpyouout
Idon'
tknowaboutt
his,
Inev
erpi
ctur
edmy
sel
f
rel
yi
ngonanot hermanapar tfr
om mydad.
Whenwegett otheflat
,it
snottoopackednor
i
sitempt ybutit
sv er
ywar m.Lwakhoseesus
andcomest ogr
eetus,thiswholet
imemyey es
arewanderingaround,I
'm hopi
ngtoseeAvery
butIdon't
.Ishareahugwi thLwakhothenhe
hugsLiyana
Me:
Idon'
tseey
ourbr
other
Lwakho:
hei
sn'
ther
e.Hei
swi
thAphel
eleIt
hink
Ifeel
myheartbreakbutItr
ymybestnotto
showitandLwakhostart
slaughi
ng.Ihat
ehim
Lwakho:y
oushoul
dhaveseenhowqui
ckl
yyou
wentfr
om ex
cit
edtoconst
ipat
edi
naspaceof
asecond
Ihithi
m pl
ay f
ull
yt henheleadsustothe
balconywhereAv eryandhisfri
endsarechi
ll
i
ng
andsmoki nghubbl y.Whenheseesme, hegets
upandwr apshiscol darmsaroundmet hen
giv
esmeasof tpeck
Av
ery
:heybabeIdi
dn'
tknowy
ouwer
ecomi
ng
Li
yana:
that
'sbecausey
oudi
dn'
ti
nvi
teus
Av
eryl
aughsashegi
vesLi
yanaahug.
Av
ery
:heyLi
yana
AsmuchasIl ovemybae,Ilovebeingwar m
moresowel eav
ethem onthebalconyandgo
backinsi
de,
ther
eispunchandandot herdri
nks
al
loversoIhaveabitofpunch,i
ttastesli
ke
j
uiceanywayandit
sreall
ynice
Lwakho:
youknowt
hathasal
cohol
ini
tri
ght
?
Me:Ican'
ttast
eitt
hough.I
ttast
esl
i
keI
'
m
dr
inki
ngjui
ce
Kwando:
sowhydidn'
twegetani
nvi
tet
othi
s
par
tyofyour
sLwaks?
Idon'tevenknowWhenshewal kedinbutsheis
herewithApheleleandtwoothergir
ls,
she
hasn'
tspot t
edmebecauset heyaresti
llgoi
ng
offatLwakhof ornoti
nvit
ingt
hem.Myhear tis
raci
ng,I'
m scaredbutatthesameti
meI'm
hopingnoonewi ll
touchmewi thAv
eryaround.
Itakeasipofmypunchwhi l
ekeepi
ngmyhead
l
ower edprayi
ngthattheydon'
tseeme
Aphe:
andwher
eismybaev
ele?
Lwakho:
didn'
tyouguy
sbr
eakup?
Aphe:Idon'tthi
nkt hat
'sanyofy ourbusi
ness
andjustbecauset hebitchheiscurrentl
y
fucki
ngisyourf r
ienddoesn'tmeany ouneedto
i
nv ol
veyourselfi
nmybusi ness
Lwakho:t
henfi
ndhimyourdamnsel
fsi
nceal
l
oft
hisisnotmybusi
ness
ShewalkstowardsthebalconydoorandasI
rai
semyey estolookatLwakho,theylockwi
th
thoseofKwandoandIswearIf eell
ikemy
ancest
orshaveturnedthei
rbacksonme
Kwando:
hol
donchomam,Aver
ycanwai
t.Look
whatwehav
eher
e.Yi
zapha
Aphelelecatwalkstowardst
hecouch, now
everyoneislookinginourdi
recti
on,
Ithinktoday
i
st hedayI'l
lmeetmymaker ,Icanf
eel i
tinthe
wayAphel el
eisl ooki
ngatme.
Aphe:
whoi
sthi
s?
Kwando:
that
'sAbongi
we
OKsosuddenl ysheknowsmyname, t
heone
dayIwaspr ayi
ngshewouldcal
lmeAy abonga,
shedecidestogetmynamer i
ght.Myancest or
s
arenotabouttheli
feofmetoday.Aphelel
e
l
ooksatmewi t
hconfusi
onthenstart
slaughing
Aphe:youarejokingri
ght?Thi
sisthegi
rlAv
ery
i
scheat i
ngwith?Issheevenagirl
?
Uyangjwayel
ay azuAvery
,cheat
ingonmewi t
h
afuckenlesbi
an
Lwakho:
cutt
hatshi
toutAphel
ele.Comeon
now
Aphe:
Itol
dyout
ost
ayoutofmybusi
ness.
Sheturnstome,
chewsgum whi
l
esi
zi
ngmeup,
st
il
lgiggl
ing
Aphe:
yawenasf
ebe
Thethi
ngaboutmei sthatasmuchasI '
m not
muchofaf i
ghter
,Ihaveav er
yshortt
emper
andifyoudarest
eponmycor ner
s,I
'l
ll
oseit
andI'
ml osi
ngitr
ightnowbecauseI'
m onmy
feet
Me:
aski
es?
Aphe:
lol
soy
ouar
elesbi
an,
dumbanddeaf
.
Me:
what
'
syourpoi
nt?
Aphe:mypointi
sfi
ndy
ourownmanandl
eav
e
minealone
Me:i
sthati
t?Youar
ecausi
ngsomuch
commoti
onoveraguy?Awkahl
esi
si
Itri
edsitti
ngdownbutsheheldontomyar m
andt hatpissedmeof
fevenmor e,
itwasclear
thatsheisacheesegir
landifIwastohither,
shewoul
dpr
obabl
ybr
eak
Me:
letgoofme
Her
:orwhat
?
Kwando:
slapt
hebi
tchchomi
Li
yana:i
fyoudar
etouchhery
ouwi
l
lhav
emet
o
dealwi
th.
Av
ery
:what
'sgoi
ngon?
HeseesAphelel
ehol
dingont
omyar
m andhi
s
ey
esinst
antl
yf i
l
lwi
thrage
Hi
m:l
etAbongi
wego
Aphe:
I'
m notdonewi
thy
ourl
i
ttl
elesbi
anskank
Hewalkscl
osert
ous,
pushi
ngt
hecr
owd
ar
oundusaway
Him:Aphel
eleI
'
m notgoi
ngt
orepeatmy
sel
f.
Lethergo.
Sheletgoofme,
cli
ckinghert
ongueand
walki
ngtowar
dsAverywhil
eIsatdownand
downedtherestofmypunch, IthinkwhenIsaw
them wal
kingtowardshisr
oom ithitmet hatno
mat t
erwhathappens,nomatterhowmuch
ti
mehespendswi t
hmeandnomat terhow
muchhedef endsme, I
'l
lal
waysbet hesi
de
chickwhi
leAphelel
egetspull
edi ntothe
bedroom
Kwando:youar
est
il
lawhor
ethough.Nxa
bl
oodylesbi
an
Igotupandslappedherbef or
eanyonehada
chancetostopme, shetri
edfi
ghti
ngbackbutI
ki
ckedherinthestomachandshecur l
edonthe
fl
oorwhil
eLwakhopul ledmet ohi
sroom and
l
ockedthedoor
Lwakho:
whatt
hehel
l
?
Me:aii
tsbeenalongti
mecoming.Shehas
beenaski
ngfori
tforweeksnow
Hi
m: doyouknowthati
fshecal
lsherdad,he
wi
llbeherei
nlesst
han24hrsandall
shitwil
lgo
down
Me:
mxm
AsifIcar
e.Mydadwi l
lal
sobeher
eifIneed
him,shemustbragaboutamot
heratl
east
that
'ssomet
hingIdon'
thave
Hi
m:lol
youar
esuchapr
obl
em wheny
ouar
e
dr
unk
Me:
Iwantt
osl
eep
Igotohisbathroom,peethenputonhisT-shi
rt
andgetinbed.Myheadf eelsli
keit
sspinni
ng,
I'
m nev
erdri
nkingalcoholeveragai
n.Iwas
wokenupbysomeonel i
fti
ngmeof fthebed,I
openedoneey eandreali
zedthatit
sAvery
Aver
y:pl
easedon'
tfi
ghtme.Idon'
thav
ethe
ener
gy
Iremainedsil
entasheWalkedwithmetohis
room andplacedmeonthebedbef or
etaki
ng
Lwakho'sT-shi
rtofmybody.Idon'
tknow
whet
heri
ttheal
cohol
orwhatbutIwashor
ny
Me:
Ineedaf
avor
Hewasst
ri
ppi
ngandget
ti
ngr
eadyt
ogeti
nbed
Hi
m:I
'
mli
steni
ng
Me:
pleasemakemecum
[
08/
18,
15:
26]Mca:
*8*
"
Yournakedbodyshouldonlybel
ongtot
hose
whofal
linl
ovewit
hy ournakedsoul
"
Whenhedi dt hatthingwi t
hhistongueand
fi
ngersthatalway sbr i
ngstomenumer ous
orgasms,Ireturnedt hefavorbygoingdownon
hi
m, hismoansandgr oansarealway ssuch
greatmotivat
ionf orme.Whenhef il
ledmy
mout hwit
hhi sseeds, Irantogospititoutand
ri
nsemymout h.Icandoi tall
butswal l
owing
spermsisn'toneoft hoset hi
ngs,t
het asteisn'
t
evenpleasant,Idon'tknowhowpeopl edot he
wholeswallowi ngthing.WhenIgotbackt othe
bed,hi
seyeswer eal
lsmal landredandhewas
giv
ingmet hatl
ookhealway sgivesmeafter
ourmakeoutsessions,thatlookofwanti
ngus
togofurt
herandinallhonesty,Iwasn'
t
sati
sfi
ed.
Me:
babe
Av
ery
:it
slat
ebaby
,weshoul
dgetsomesl
eep
Me:
youar
est
il
lhar
d
Icoul
dfeelhi
ser
ecti
ononmythi
ghandhesti
ll
hadhisf
inger
sbetweenmyl
egs,
play
ingwi
th
mycookie
Hi
m:andy
ouar
est
il
lwet
Me:l
et'
sgoon.Iwantt
odoi
twi
thy
ou.I
'
m
r
eady
Heli
ft
edhisheadfrom thebedtolookatme,
it
wasdarkbutt
helightf
rom outsi
dewasenough
f
ormet oseehim abit
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Inodded.Heopenedhi sdrawer ,
reachingf or
condomsIassume, thewhol etimeIwas
thinki
ngt omy self,Iam readyandl osingmy
virgi
nit
yat19t ot heguyIl ov eandwhol ov es
mecan' tbethatbad.Ther ear epeoplet hat
hav el
ostitatay oungerage.Hest rokedhi s
dickandIswal l
owedhar d,thatthi
ngi shuge,
mostpr obablywi lltearmycooki eintopi eces.
Whenher oll
edt hecondom on, Istartedhav i
ng
secondt houghts, Idon'twantt ofeelthepai n
thatiscomingmyway
Hi
m:ar
eyouOK?
Me:
don'
thur
tme
Hi
m:I
'
llt
ry
Hegotont opofme, ki
ssedmedeeplywhil
ehis
fi
ngers,t
wot obeexactplay
edbetweenmylegs,
Iwasenjoyi
ngthefeeli
nguntil
heremoved
them andhisdi
ckpressedhardagai
nstmycli
t
andItensedup
Hi
m:r
elaxbaby
Ididn'trespond, Ifel
titt
ryi
ngtostret
chmy
wallsandt hef ri
ctionofthecondom was
maki ngithur tevenmor ebutther
ewasnoway
I'
m hav i
ngt hiswi t
houtacondom, for
getit.I
'
ll
j
ustsol dieront hroughthispai
n.Hepushedi n
sl
owl yandt hedeeperhewenti nthemor eit
hurt,Iwant edtor unbuthehadmehel ddown
ont hebed
Me:
fuckAv
eryhay
isukabr
uhhai
hai
Me:
I'
m sor
rybabeI
'
m sor
ry
Hepushedt hr
oughunti
lhewasallthewayin
andIscreamedinagony.Fuckthi
sshiti
s
pai
nful
.Iwasintears,
hekissedmyf or
ehead
andwipedmyt ear
s
Hi
m:I'
m sor
ry.I
twi
l
lgetbet
terIpr
omi
sey
ou.I
l
ovey
ou
Weki
ssedagain,
him notremovi
nghisl
ipsf
rom
meashemov edslowlybackandfor
thbutI
coul dn'tstopcr yi
ngbecausei twassopai nful
.I
j
ustwant edhi mt ofinishsowecanst opand
afterwhatf eltli
keami l
l
iony ears,hecame,
pulledhi msel foutthenki ssedmyf oreheadand
tookt hecondom of fandt hr
ewi tont hef l
oor.
Mycooki efeltli
keahotbur ningcoal hadbeen
shov edi nther e.Hepul l
edmet olayont opof
him ashewr appedhi sarmsar oundmeandmy
headr estedonhi schest .Iwasst il
l i
nt ear
sand
her epeat edlykeptki ssingmyf orehead
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
it'
sOK
Him:whatcanIdotomakey
oust
opcr
ying?I
hateseei
ngyouli
kethi
s
Me:
I'
ll
bef
ineAv
ery
.Let
'ssl
eep
Hi
m:pl
easedon'
that
eme.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Andj
ustl
i
ket
hat
,myv
irgi
nit
ywasgoneandI
wasl ef
twi thabur ni
nghotcooki ebutIdon't
regreti
t.IlovemybaeandIf el
treadytodoi t
withhim, Ij
ustf eell
i
kesomeoneshoul dhav e
warnedmeaboutt hepain.NextdayIwokeup
withahangov erandapai nf
ul v
agina,alcohol
andsexhav eseent helastofme.Ipr omisey ou.
Averyhadhi sar mswr appedaroundmet ightl
y,
asifIwasgoi ngt osneakouti nthemi ddleof
thenightorsomet hi
ngandwhenIt ri
edget ti
ng
outofhishol dhehel dmet ight
er
Me:
baby
Av
ery
:hmmm
Me:
Ineedt
opee,
mov
e
Hi
m:hmmm
Ipi
nchedhisar
msandhel etgoofme.Af ter
peei
ng,Iwaddl
edbacktohisroom andfound
hi
m sit
ti
ngonthebed,Ihadwashedmyf ace
andri
nsedmymout handhewasj ustst
aringat
me,Iwasnaked,waddl
ingaroundli
kea
pengui
nandhewasjustst
ari
ngatme,
try
ing
ver
yhardnott
olaugh
Me:
ify
oul
augh,
itwon'
tendwel
lfory
ou
Hi
m:l
olI
'
m notgoi
ngt
olaugh
Hegotup, changedt hesheetsbecauset hose
oneshadbl oodont hem andIpassedbywher e
thecondom wasont hefloorandpickeditup
withtoil
etpaper .Igotmyhai rdonewithLiyana,
shepr act
icallyt
ookt hemoneyoutofAv ery'
s
walletherselfandhedi dn'
tseem tomi nd.Igot
str
aightbackdonewhi leshegotbr ai
ds
Li
yana:sowhathappenedlastni
ghtbecause
whenIwantedistol
eave,Iwastoldyouwere
sl
eeping
Me:thatwholeepisodewi
thKwandoand
Aphelel
eexhaustedme
Liy
ana:speaki
ngofKwando,hermom cal
l
ed
thi
smor ni
ng,appar
ent
lyshesai
dthatwe
att
ackedher
Mxm somuchunnecessar ydrama.Ican'
tdeal
wit
hthatgi
rlbutonethi
ngIknowi sthatshe
wil
lst
artr
espectingmenowandst opthi
nki
ng
shecanwalkallovermejustbecauseI'
m poor
.
Me:soAv
eryandIf
inal
l
ywental
lthewayl
ast
ni
ght
Her
:what
?Omgandhowwasi
t?
Me:fuckenpai
nfuli
showi twas.GoshI'
m nev
er
hav
ingsexagain.ThatIcanpromiseyou
Shel aughed.I'
m notj
oking,I
'
llnotsi
gnupf or
walkinglikeapenguinallt
hetime.Afterget
ti
ng
ourhai rdone,wegotlunchandwentt ovisi
t
Shaun, Iwasonlytaggingal
ongf ort
hesakeof
seeingMangi .Heissuchacut eboy
Me:nolov
eydov
eypl
ease.Ther
ear
eki
dsi
nthe
house
Shaun:
lol
your
sel
fincl
uded?
Me:
yesofcour
se.Ben10wam ar
eyougood?
Iwaski
cki
ngt
heballar
oundint
heyar
dwit
h
Mangiwhi
l
ehi
sparentsdi
shedupl
unch
Mangi
:I'
mfi
ne.Myaunti
scomi
ngt
omor
row
Me:
Kwando?
Him:that
'sKwando,Idon'
tcal
lheraunt
.My
aunt
ieYaya.Daddy'
stwin
ShaunandLi yanacameoutwi ththeribsand
wingsandwesatandat et ogether,t
alki
ng
nonsense.ThatweekendIhadt ogohome, my
resul
tswereoutandIdidwel l,
extremelywel l
actual
ly
.Av er
ycamet opickmeupf rom res,he
wasdr i
vi
ngmehome.Wel eftDurban,stopping
atthegaragetogetsnacksanddr inksandwent
onourway
Me:
arey
ougoi
nghomet
hesehol
i
day
?
Aver
y:yeahwehav
eto.Hav
en'
tbeenhome
si
nceJanuary
Me:
pleasebehav
e
Hi
m:hawbabyIalwaysbehav
e.Youaregoi
ng
t
ohavet
ostar
ttrust
ingmeAbongiwe
It
sdi f
fi
culttot
rustAv ery,
notjustbecauseof
thewhol eAphelel
ethingbutbecauseoft he
wayhei ssuchachi ckmagnet ,girl
sli
kehi m
andheget sov
erlyfr
iendlywiththem butthe
momentIgetf r
iendl
ywi thaguy ,hewantst o
attacktheguy.Ithi
nki fLwakhowasn' thi
s
brotherthenhewoul dhav ecutthatfr
iendshipa
l
ongt imeago
Hi
m: I
'
m goingtomissyousomuchbutwe'
l
l
t
alkever
yday.Ipr
omiseOK
Wehuggedinthecar,Idi
dn'
twantpeople
seei
ngmehuggi ngaguyinmystreet
.Yeswe
werefarf
rom t
hehousebutsti
l
lnjethese
peopl
earenosy
Me:
I'
ll
missy
out
oobabe
Wesharedaki
ssandIgotoutwi
thmybagand
pl
ast
icbagofgoodi
es.WhenIwal
kedi
ntot
he
house,itwasempt y,daddidsayhewasgoi ng
tobeatwor kany waysoIjustcl
eanedar ound
thencooked.Iwasdonecooki ngaround4soI
j
ustchill
edinthey ardwit
hmyphone, texti
ng
LiyanaandLwakho.Iwasenj oyi
ngthef eelof
thewintersun,dadcameback, Idi
shedupand
weat ewhilewatchingTV
Dad:
yourhai
rlooksni
ce
Me:
ngy
abongababa
Him:Ihopeyouar
enott
ryi
ngtoi
mpr
esssome
boywiththi
snewl
ookofyour
s
Me:ofcour
senotbaba.I
'm notki
ssi
ngboy
si n
Dur
ban,Ipr
omisedyouthatI'
m onl
ygoi
ngthere
t
ostudyandthat
'si
t
Hi
m:good
IgotanSMSf r
om mybur sar
ypeoplethatI
shoul
dcomet otheoffi
cesnextweekt osi
gn
formysecondsemestermoney .Ideci
dedthat
I'
ll
goonMondaysi nceit
snotli
keIhav epl
ans
fort
heholidays.ThenextdayIwentt ochur ch,
i
twasamazi ngasusual andaftertheservice
wehadchoi rpract
icewhi chI'
venev erbeena
fanofbecauseoft hosejudgment algir
lsthere.
Especi
all
ySbahl eandNobahl e.Theyar esister
s
andtheyarealway sinpeople'
sbusi nesses
Sba:
Ihear
dyoul
i
veI
nDur
bannow
Me:
sor
tof
Noba:
itshows.Youl
ookgoodnow
OhsoIlookedl
iket
rashbef
ore?Mxm seewhyI
don'
tl
ikethem?Annoyi
ngli
tt
lecows
Sba:wel
luy
azamashame.Youev
endi
dyour
hai
r.Wow
Me:
OK
Iwal
kedawayf rom them andwenttot heother
gi
rl
sandafterchoirIwenthome.It r
iedcal l
i
ng
Aver
ybuthisphonewentst r
aightt
ov oicemail
andIcoul
dn'tcall
Lwakhobecauseweagr eed
thatmyr el
ationshi pwi thhi sbrot herisnotpar t
ofourf ri
endshi p.ThewayIwasmi ssingmy
baet houghy etit
'sonl ybeenadaybutIdon' t
wantt oseem cl i
ngy .OnMondayIwokeup
ear l
y,cleanedar oundt hehouse, bat hedand
wor eoneofmychur chdr esses, thebl ackand
whi t
eonewi thv erti
cal stripeswi thbl ack
sandal s, Ihadt hismeet ingwi thmybur sary
peopl e.WhenIar rivedt here,Ilookedsol ost,
thebui ldingwashuge.Iwentt or ecept i
onist,
greetedandt oldherwhyIwast her eandshe
directedmet ooneoft hedi rector '
sof fi
ce.The
nameont hedoorr eadSi nokunqobaZungu.I
tooki nadeepbr eat handknockedbef oreI
hear dacomei nfrom t heot hersi deoft hedoor.
Iturnedt hehandl ener vously,Idon' tev enknow
whyIwassoscar edbutt hereisj ustsomet hi
ng
aboutmeet ingupwi thpeopl einhi ghpl aces
thatmakesoneext remel yner vous.Thel ady
behindt hedeskwasgor geousandshel ooked
ri
ch, yesshewasr ichbutsheev enl ookedr i
ch,
dressedinati
ghtf
it
ti
nglaceroyal
bluedress,
redheelsandaredcoathungfr
om herchair
Si
no:
hel
l
o.Don'
tbener
vous.Comecl
oser
Iwalkedt
owardsherdeskandsatdownacross
her,
shehadawar m smil
e,Ij
usthopei
tsr
eal
andsheisn'
tl
ikethosewhit
epeoplewhosmil
e
atbl
ackpeopleawkwardl
y
Her
:woul
dyoul
i
kesomet
hingt
odr
ink?
Me:
jui
cepl
ease.Or
angej
uice
Shespoketosomeoneonthephonetobr
ing
thej
uicet
henshepull
edoutafi
lewit
hmy
nameonit
Her:y
ourschool
email
edusy ourresult
sandi f
youkeepthi
sup,youmi
ghtjustfi
ndy oursel
f
wit
haj obher
ewhenyougraduate
Me:
wowr
eal
l
y?
Ourj
uicewasbroughti
n,It
ookasi
pandpl
aced
i
tbackonthecoaster
Her:
mypart
nerwantedtomeetyouaswell
but
shehadt
opickherbrot
herupf
rom t
heai
rport
.
Me:
alr
ight
Isignedallthepaper sIneededt osignthenI
wast oldtogot ot heI Tdepartmentt ogeta
newl aptopsinceIdi dn'thaveone.Ican'teven
begintoexpl ai
nt hej oyinmyhear twhenIgot
thelaptop,t
hef ruitsofmyl aborIguess.AsI
waswal kingout ,Iwasbusyt ext
ingLwakho
aboutmynewl aptopwhenIbumpedi nt
o
someone, almostdr oppingthelaptop
Me:I
'm sor
ry.Ishoul
dhav
ebeenl
ooki
ngwher
e
Iwasgoing
??:i
tspr
obabl
ymyf
aul
t,I
'
m al
way
sbusyont
his
phone
Il
if
tedmyheadandwhenIsawwhoIhad
bumpedi nt
o,Iwantedtolaugh.ArgIknowt hi
s
guythough.WellImethim once,Iev
enf or
got
hi
sname
Hi
m:Abongi
wer
ight
?
Ismil
ed,
Iwasalsof
eel
ingbadbecauseIdon'
t
rememberhi
snamebutIknowheisrelat
edto
KwandoinsomewaybecausewhenImethim,
hewaswithher
Lady
:ar
eyoucomi
ng?
Nowt hat'
sabeaut if
ul woman, herweaveis
perf
ecti
on,thoser edbottom shoeslookhella
expensiv
eandt hatGucci handbagi sprobabl
y
worthmywhol ev arsit
ytuit
ion.Sheiswear i
ng
minimum makeupy etshelookssof l
awless
Hi
m:gi
vemeasec
Hetur
nstol
ookatme,sti
l
l smili
ng,
hehasbig
br
owneyesandper
fectst
raightwhi
tet
eeth
Hi
m: i
twasnicetoseeyouagai
nAbongi
we.
Hopef
ull
yI'
l
lsti
ll
seeyouaround
Inoddedandwalkedaway.IknewIwasn'
t
goingtobeseei
nghim ar
oundhereagai
n,hi
m
andhi sgirl
fri
endar epr obabl
yintownf or
busi nessorsomet hingandt heyarestay i
ngina
hot elinRichard'sBay .Lolheyli
stentome
goi ngonasi fIknowt heguy'
slif
e.Igethome,
char gemyl aptopthenmadeasandwi chand
Or ost henwat chedamov i
eonTV, that'
s
basi call
ywhatI 'l
lbedoi ngallhol
idaysapar t
from cl eani
nghousesandgoi ngtochur chin
theaf ternoonsonsel ecteddays.Ihavequi t
ea
bor inglif
ebutIl i
keitt hatwaybecausei tsless
drama.Ihav eenoughdr amagoingoni nDur ban
any way .
[
08/
18,
15:
28]Mca:
*9*
"
Yourmi
stakesdon'
tdef
iney
ou"
IrememberwhenIaskedLi yanawhyshe
doesn'thaveShaunonFacebookandwhyt hey
don'tpostabouttheirr
elati
onshipandshetold
mei t'
sbecausesuchbehav i
orinvi
tespeopl
e
i
ntoy ourrel
ati
onship,evenpeoplethatdon'
t
havegoodi nt
enti
onswi llsuddenl
yhav e2cents
comment st oaddt ohowy oushoul dr eactt o
howy ourmant reatsy ou.Inev erpai dherany
mi ndbecauseIhav eAv eryonFacebook, wear e
notal l l
ov eydov eyandIdon' tpostt hingsonhi s
wal l,t
hat '
swhatAphel eledoes.SoI '
m backat
res, school openst omor rowandI '
m set tingup
thei nter netconnect i
ononmyl apt op.Ideci de
tot esti toutbygoi ngonFacebookandt hef ir
st
thingIseei senought oshat termywhol ewor ld
i
nt opi eces, Ibli
nkaf ewt imes, evenr ubmy
ey es.May beI '
m notseei ngcl early.I
tsapi cture
oft hel ef thandwi t
har i
ngoni tplacedont opof
anul t
rasoundscan.Ii mmedi atelydi alAv ery'
s
numberandi ttakesmest raightt ov oicemai l,
i
tsbeenof ft hewhol ehol iday sandnowI '
m
freakingout .Howi sitt hatonemi nut ewear e
fi
ne, youar emyboy friend, youl ovemeandt hen
nextmi nut ey ouareengagedandexpect inga
babywi thy ourot hergi r
lf
riend.Thesame
girlf
riendt hatIwasmadet obel ievei sjustin
yourl ifebecauseofy ourmom.Ishi ftedmy
eyesbetweenmyl aptop,myphoneandthe
posi
ti
vepr egnancyt
estonmybedt hatIt
ook
whenIgotbackt ores.Whenmyper i
odsdidn'
t
showupdur i
ngtheholi
days,
Iknewsomething
waswr ong.
Li
yana:
IjustsawonFacebook.Ar
eyouOK?
Howarey ouhol
dingup?
Shewal kedintofi
ndmeonmybed, Iquickl
y
hidthepregnancytestunderthebedand
remainedcurledupundert hecover
sandcr yi
ng
myey esout,Ineverthoughitwaspossiblet
o
hurtthi
smuch, especial
lyoveraguybuthereI
am
Me:heshouldhav egivenmeaheadsupLi yana
butforhi
mt ojustswit
chof fhi
sphoneandthen
havethatshitbl
astedallov
erFacebooki
sjust
noton.Ihatehim.Ihatehim somuch
Her:I
'm sosor
ryAbongiwe,
youdon'
tdeser
ve
t
his.Averyi
sanassholebuthei
sanasshole
t
hatl
ovesy
ou
Me: helovesme?Youdon'tpr
oposeto
someoneel sewhi
ley
ouclaimt ol
oveanother
person.HeusedmeLiyana,hewantedsexand
hegotitthenhewenttoAphelel
e.Shei
s
pregnant
Shepul
ledmei nforahugandIcr i
edinher
arms,
I'
v eneverf
eltl
iket
hisbefor
e.Idon'
teven
wantt
ost epoutofthisr
oom, Ij
ustwanttostay
i
nbedf eel
ingsorr
yformy sel
f
Her:weshoul
dgoout
,justsoy
oudon'
thav
eto
t
hinkabouti
t
Ishookmyhead,Icanalreadypi ct
urepeopl e
fr
om thisr
esl
ookingatme, pr obablylaughing
atmef ort
hefool
thatIam.Hemadeuspubl i
c
onlyf
orhimtodot hi
stome, Idon'tthinkIcan
everfacet
hepubl
icworldev eragai n
Me:maybet
omorr
ow,todayIj
ustwantt
ost
ay
i
nbedandfeel
sor
ryf
ormy sel
f
Her:
wehav
eschooltomor
rowandIr
eal
l
yhat
e
seei
ngy
ouli
ket
his.I
tsbr
eaki
ngmyhear
t
Ifakeasmil
et henturnt heotherwaywhil
eshe
getsuptogot ohersideoft heroom.Imust
havecri
edmy selft
osl eepbecauseIwas
wokenupbymyphoner ingi
ng,whenIsawthat
i
twasAv ery
,Iignoredt hecallbuthewoul
dn't
stopcal
li
ngsoev entuallyIanswered.
Me:
hel
l
o
Ihadt
oclearmyt
hroatbecausemyv
oice
wasn'
taudi
ble
Me:
uhm hel
l
o
Av
ery
:I'
m out
sidey
ourr
espl
easecomeout
Me:
no
Av
ery
:Abongi
wepl
ease
Hisvoi
cewasf i
rm andIhadmissedit,
Ihad
missedhi
m.YesIhat ehi
m butIsti
l
llovehi
m,I
don'
teventhi
nkI'
m makingsense
Me:
I'
m comi
ng
Ihungup, fi
xedmyhair ,
Ihadundonethe
str
aightbackbeforeIlefthomesoIwasback
tomyaf ro.Iputonmysl ipper
s,t
ookmykeys
andapproachedt hedoor
Li
yana:
andt
hen?
Me:
Aver
yisout
side.I
'
m goi
ngt
otal
ktohi
m
ShenoddedbutIknewshef eltitwasn'tagood
i
dea, Ial
sofeltthatwaybutIneededanswer s
andIwon' tgetthem from cr
yinginbed.I
steppedoutsidetof i
ndhim standingnextt ohi
s
carwi t
hhisphonei nhishand.Iappr oached
him andwhenhesmi l
edIswearmyhear t
melted,heopenedhi sArmsandIal readyfelt
l
ikethiswasabadi deabecauseseei nghim
ri
ghtnow, allIwantedwast ofindcomf ortinhis
arms.Hewr appedthem aroundmeandIt ook
i
nhi sheavenlyscent
Av
ery
:I'
vemi
ssedy
ousomuchbabe
Hepulledbackandbroughtmyfacet ohi
s
befor
ekissi
ngme.Goshi tfel
tsoamazing,I
wantedtosmileandcryatthesamet i
me,his
handswenttomyass, grabbi
ngitandI
rel
easedasoftmoanwhi chhemat chedwit
ha
deepgroan
Hi
m:y
oual
way
slooksobeaut
if
ul
If
akedasmi
l
e
Me:
thanky
ou
Hestaredatmeforawhil
e,hi
seyestol
dme
t
hatheknowsthatIknowbecausehewasso
r
emor sef
ul
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
oseet
hat
Inodded,Iwashurt
ingsobadl
y,mytear
s
burni
nginmyey es,
ifIhadt
obli
nk,t
heywoul
d
comer ol
l
ingdown
Him:
tel
lmewhattodotomaket hehurtgo
away
.I'
l
ldoi
tinaspl
itsecond.Ihatehurti
ng
y
ouAbongi
we
Me:
itst
ool
ate.Youal
readyar
ehur
ti
ngme
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:Idon'
twantyourapol
ogyAver
y,Iwant
answer
s.Youproposedtoher
,why?
Him:she'
spregnantandmymom for
cedme
i
ntoit
.IhadnochoiceAbongi
we,
youhavet
o
bel
iev
eme
Isi
ghed,Iwantedt
obelievehi
m buthowcouldI
?
Itj
ustdi
dn'
tmakesenseandhi smotherseems
tobeAphelel
e'
sbiggestfansoIdon'
tstanda
chance
Me:whati
fwewer
ebothpr
egnant
?Woul
dyou
pr
oposetomeaswel
l
?
Hef
rownedhi
sey
ebr
owsandt
ookast
epback
Hi
m:areyoupregnant
?Iknowt hecondom
br
okebutIdoubtanyt
hinghappened
Me:
soy
ouknewi
tbr
okeandy
oudi
dn'
ttel
lme?
Whatt
hehel
lAv
ery
Hi
m: Idi
dn'
twanty
out
ofr
eakoutbaby
.Ar
eyou
pr
egnant?
Me:
no
Hebr eathedoutasi
ghofrel
ief
.Whydidn'
tIj
ust
tel
lhimt hetrut
h?Imeanheknowsthecondom
brokesot herei
sapossi
bil
it
ybutI
'
m scared.
Whati fIlosehi
m?
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouAbongi
we
Me:butyouloveAphel
elemor
e,t
hat
'
swhyy
ou
ar
emar r
yingherandnotme
Heshookhisheadandlif
tedmeupt oplaceme
onthebonnetofhi
scarthencuppedmyf ace
andkissedmedeeply
.Therewasjust
somethingi
nthewayhekissesmet hatj
ust
makesmel oseal
lsenseofreal
i
ty.Hepull
ed
back
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouAbongi
we.Justy
ou
Me: Il
oveyoutoo.Il
oveyousomuchAver
y
thatIhat
eit.Youkeephur
ti
ngmewitht
his
Aphelel
echickofyours
Him:I
'm sor
rymylov
e.Pleasejustdon'
tdoubt
myloveforyou.Wewil
lworkthroughthi
s,I
don'
tknowhowbutwewi ll
Laterthatdayheuntaggedhi msel
ff rom the
pict
uresAphelelehadpostedbecauseIdi dn'
t
wanttokeepseei ngthem everyti
meIl ogged
onFacebook.Hehadt akenmeoutf orlunch
thenwewentbackt ores,forthef
irsttimehe
actual
lycamei nt
omyr oom, l
ucki
l
yLi yana
wasn'taround
Hi
m:t
hisi
scut
e
Me:
lol
itsj
ustr
esbabe
Heki
ckedoffhissneaker
sbefor
ethr
owi
ng
hi
mselfonthebedandpulli
ngmetowar
dshi
m,
weki
ssedthenIpull
edbackwhenhepull
edmy
T-
shi
rtoff
Me:
itsl
ate
Hi
m:I
'
llbequi
ck.Imi
ssedy
ou
Ourclot
hesfl
ewof fandwehadami ndbl
owing
steamylov
emaki ngsessi
on.Itl
eftme
exhaust
edandsleepysowhenhegotupt o
removethecondom, Iwasal
readygett
ing
drowsy
Hi
m:Abongi
wewhat
'
sthi
s?
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:Abongi
wemahn!
Me:
geezr
elax,
don'
tshoutatmehaw
Isl
owlyopenedmyey esandsatupont
hebed
butmyheartnearlyst
oppedwhenIsawhim
hol
dingthepregnancytest
Hi
m:yousai
dyouar
enotpr
egnant
.Whyt
he
f
uckdi
dyouli
e?
Me:
Iwasscar
ed
Heshookhi
sheadr epeatedl
yandIdidn'
tknow
whatt
osay,Iwasalreadyscaredenoughand
hewasn'
tmakinganyoft hi
sanyeasier
Him:youshouldhavetol
dmef orfucksakes
Abongiwe.I
'
m engaged,I
'm al
readyhavi
nga
baby.Lor
dthiscan'
tbehappeningri
ghtnow
Me:
stopshout
ingatmeAv
ery
,it
snotmyf
aul
t.
Iwasalr
eadyintear
s,whichseemedtocalm
hi
m downandhesatont hebed,pul
li
ngme
cl
osertohim andwrappi
nghisarmsaroundme.
Hebreathesout
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry,
Idi
dn'
tmeant
oshout
Me:i
t'
snotmyf aul
t.I
'm al
readyscar
ed,Idon'
t
wanttol
osemybur sar
yandmydadwi llbeso
di
sappoi
ntedi
nme.Thi sisjustonebi
gmess
Heki
ssedmyFor
eheadandwi
pedmyt
ear
s
Hi
m: i
tsOKbaby
,I'
m her
e.Wewi
l
lfi
gur
eitout
j
ustdon'
tcr
yOK?
Me:mydadisgoi
ngt
obesodi
sappoi
nted.I
'
m
adeadgi
rlwal
ki
ng
Him:wecanconsiderotheropti
onsbaby.Li
ke
yousai
d,y
oucan'taffor
dt oloseyourbur
sar
y
Myey esshotwideopen,hebet
ternotbe
consi
deri
ngwhatIthinkheisconsi
deri
ng
becauseIwon'tdothat
Me:Ican'
thaveanabor
ti
onAv
ery
.Ican'
tj
ust
ki
l
lmychild.Noways
Him:OKasl ongasy ouar esurebutj
ustknow
thatI
'
llsupportwhateverdecisi
onyoumake.If
youchooset okeepthebaby ,I'
l
lbeher
eandi f
youchooset oabort,I
'
llbetherewit
hyouev er
y
stepoftheway .Il
ovey ousomuchAbongi we
andIjustwanty outobehappy .
[
08/
18,
15:
28]Mca:
*10*
"Aperson'
schar
act
eri
sreveal
ednotbythe
promi
sestheymakebutt
hepromisesthey
keep"
Iwokeupscr eami ngandsweat i
ngf r
om t he
sameni ghtmar eI'vebeenhav ingforthepast
2months.Mywhol eupperbodywaswetf rom
sweat,Iwasbr eat hingheav il
yandmyt hroat
wasdry .Iwantedt ocr y
,noscr atchthat ,
I
wantedt odie.Ishoul dhavedi edwhenIki l
led
myownchi l
dbutIdi dn'
tandnowI 'm suffering
fr
om thesameni ghtmar e,recurri
ngev erynight
ofafoet uswiththeumbi l
i
cal cordaroundi ts
neckanddr owni ngi nblood.
Av
ery
:wasi
tthatni
ght
mar
eagai
n?
InodasIgetoutofhisbed, Iwantedtohate
him buthowcanIhatehim whenhedi dn'tforce
met odoit,
webothagr eedont heabort
iony et
I'
mt heonethesuf
ferstheconsequences.I
walkedoutofhisr
oom andheadedf ort
he
ki
tchen,Lwakhowalkedinjustbefor
eAv erydid
Av
ery
:babypl
e-
Lwakho:
letmehandl
ethi
sonebr
o
Iwasn'tevenlookingi
nt heirdir
ect
ionbutI
heardfootstepsfadi
ngawayandIassumed
theybelongedtoAv er
y .Ipouredmy sel
faglass
ofwateranddownedi t,pouredanotheronebut
onlydrankhalfthenplaceditinthesink
Lwakho:y
oushouldseesomeoneaboutt
his,
a
ther
api
stmaybe.
Me:
noI
'
llbef
ine.Iam f
ine
Him: Abongsyouarenotfi
ne.Lookatyoursel
f,
you'v
el ostsomuchweight
,youarehaving
night
mar esalmostev
eryni
ght.Youcan'tgoon
l
ikethis.
Isigh,Ihavelostthewei ght ,probabl ytwodr ess
sizesbutIdon'twantpeopl ei nmybusi ness.I
don'twantat herapi
stt hat'sgoi ngtomakeme
feelwor sethanIalr
eadyf eel.Av erykeeps
say i
ngitsmyconsci encepl ayi
ngt ricksonme
andt hatIshouldforgivemy self,it
seasyf orhim
tosayt hat,
hei ssti
l
l havingachi ldwhi l
emi ne
waski
l
led
Him:i
tmi
ghtbedi
ff
icul
tfory
outoseethi
sbut
helov
esy
ouAbongsandheishurt
ingaswel
l
Me:Ihat ehim Lwakho,Iknowhedidn'tfor
ce
met odoi tandwear eequall
yresponsibl
efori
t
butIjusthatehim somuch
Hepull
smeinforahugthenki
ssesmet
f
oreheadbef
orepul
l
ingback
Hi
m:t
ryandgetsomesl
eepOK
Inodandwal kbacktoAver
y'
sr oom wher
eI
fi
ndhim awakeont hebedwit
ht hebedsi
de
l
ampswi tchedon.Igeti
nbedwi thmyback
tur
nedtohim andhesighsheavil
y
Av
ery
:pl
easel
etmehol
dyou
Me:
Iwantt
osl
eepAv
ery
Him:I
'
m sorr
yAbongiwe.Justt
ell
mewhatt
o
do.Pl
easedon'
tpushmeaway
Idi
dn'
trespond,
Ijusthel
dont
othepi
l
low
ti
ght
ly,
try
ingmybestnottocrybutwhenIfel
t
hi
sarmsar oundme,Igav
ein.Hepulledmeto
l
aymyheadonhi schestandbrushedmyhair
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
WhenIwokeupt henextmor ning, hewasn't
nexttome, thesmel lofhiscolognewasal lover
theroom whi chmeantt hathepr obably
shower edandl ef
t.I
tsprobabl yf orthebest,
eversincetheabor t
ion,Ij
ustcan' tstandhis
presenceatt i
mes.It ookashower ,gotdressed
i
nl i
ghtbluejeans,blackandgol dsandal sanda
blacktanktop.Iwassl owlylosi ngt helovefor
sneakers.Iroughedmyhai rupandwentout
i
nt otheloungewi t
hmybag
Me:
mor
ning
Lwakhowasdishi
ngupbr eakf
astsoIsaton
thehi
ghchai
rintheki
tchenasheplacedaplat
e
ofbacon,
cheesebunsandbeefpatti
esinfr
ont
ofmewi
thgr
apej
uice
Lwakho:
I'
mtaki
ngy
out
ocampust
oday
Me:
wher
eisy
ourbr
other
?
Hekeptqui
etf
orasecandwhenIkeptpushi
ng,
het
oldme
Him:hewentt ot
hedoctor
'sappoi
ntmentwit
h
Aphel
ele.Theyar
efi
ndingoutthegendert
oday
Me:
hmmm
It
ookt hr
eebit
sofev erythi
nganssuddenlyI
l
ostmyappet i
te,
nott hatIhadmuchofit.We
l
eftforcampusaf ewmi nuteslat
er,
ther
ewas
si
lenceapar
tfrom theToni Braxt
onand
Babyfaceal
bum playi
ngi nthecar
Hi
m: Ij
ustwishyouguyswouldhavetalkedt
o
meaboutthi
saborti
onthi
ngbef or
egoing
t
hroughwit
hi t
.Iwoul
dhavetalkedyououtofit
Me:well
nousei ncryi
ngoverspi
l
ledmi
l
k.I
'
ll
seeyoulat
er.Thanksfort
heri
de
Hi
m:l
etmewal
kyout
ocl
ass
Whenwegott othedoor,weshar
edahugand
hekissedmyforehead,
til
thi
sdayI'
m gr
atef
ul
thatIl
etthi
sLoudmouthSmithboytobemy
fri
end
Hi
m:Ihopey
ouknowt
hathel
ovesy
ou
Me: weagr
eedthatwenotmixingt
he
r
elati
onshi
pandthefr
iendshi
p.Let
'
sjustst
ick
t
ot hat
.
Aftermyfirsttwoclasses,Iwenttochil
lunder
theshadewi thmyear phonespluggedinmy
earsandlisteni
ngtosoundsofAngi eSt
one.I
neededtozoneoutf orabitbecausethi
sthing
withAverywasgoi ngtodr i
vemecr azyi
fI
focusedallmyener gyonit.JustasIwast r
ying
toblockhim outofmymi ndhecallsme
Me:
hey
Hi
m:heybaby
Icoul
dsenset hathewassmi l
ingjusti
nthe
wayhegr eet
edme, whatbotheredmei s
whetherhewassmi li
ngbecauseofmeor
becauseofhischil
dandAphelele
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
wherear
eyou?Whydidyoujustl
eav
eli
ke
t
hat
?Iwokeupandyouweregone
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
twantt
owakey
ouup.Youhav
ea
r
oughni
ght
Me:hmmm I'
m goi
ngbackt
orest
oday
,ar
eyou
goi
ngtocomeseeme?
Him:Ican'
tbabe,
I'
m wit
hAphel
ele'
sfami
l
yand
Iwon'
tbeleavi
ngunti
ll
ate
Myheartcr
ushedintopieces, sothi
siswhatmy
l
ifewoul
dhavebeenl i
kei fIhadchosentokeep
thebaby
,I'
dhavehisfullattenti
onbutnowI
havetowaiti
nli
nejusttospendt i
mewithhim
Me:
youwentt
ofi
ndoutt
hegendert
oday
?
Whati
sit?Ithi
nkourbabywoul
dhav
ebeena
boy
.Icanjustf
eeli
t
Hi
m:Abongi
wedon'
tdot
his.Ndy
akcel
a
Me:
soi
tsaboy
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouAbongi
we
Me:
yeahr
ight
Him:youcandoitall,
bemadatme, swearat
mebutnev er
,nevereverdoubtmyloveforyou
Abongiwe.Don'
tyoudaredot hat
Hewasangr ybutsowasI ,Ihadever
yr i
ghtto
beangrybecausehej ustsay shel
ovesmebut
hi
sacti
onspr ovethathelov esAphel
ele,hi
s
worl
dbasical
lyrevolv
esar oundhernowand
wheredoesthatleaveme?
Hi
m:Abongi
we
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:doy
oul
oveme?
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Him:t
henpleasebepati
entwit
hmebaby .I
knowI'
m aski
ngforalotbutpl
easej
ustdon'
t
giv
euponus
Ididn'
tknowwhatt osay ,Idon'twantt omake
promisesIcan' tkeep,inaspaceof8mont hs
Averyandt hi
sr elat
ionshiphavet ur
nedmy
wor l
dupsidedown.I sthi
swhati tmeanst olove
someone?Thebi bl
esay sloveispatientandit
doesn'tkeeprecor dofwr ongdoingsbutt hey
shouldhav eaddedt hatloveisstupidaswel l
,
l
ov eiscrazy,l
ov eispainfulandlovejustmakes
nosenseatal l.Thatshoul dreall
ybeadded
there.
Li
yana:Shaun'
spar ent
sareintownfort
he
week,hi
smom j ustwantstocheckonhim
Me:
checkonhi
m?Hei
sagr
ownassman
Her:l
olheyhehashadaroughcoupl
eofyear
s
butshehasalway
sbabi
edhim andnowshe
want
smetogoov
ert
her
efordi
nner
.Pl
ease
comewi
thme
Me:t
ohav edinnerwi
thShaun'
spar
ent
s,which
ar
ealsoKwando'sparent
s?Nahmnganiyou
ar
eony ourown
Her:
Kwandowon'tbether
eandIdon'
twantto
l
eaveyouhereonyourownwit
hevery
thi
ngyou
ar
egoingthr
ough
Iknewit.Shejustwantst
obaby si
tmeand
honestl
yIdon'twanttobearoundstranger
s
ri
ghtnow.I'm OKwi t
hmybooksandmybr oken
heart
.Shegotr eadyandl
eftwit
houtmeandI
j
ustburiedmy sel
finmybooksunt i
lIwas
i
nterr
uptedbymyphoner ingi
ng, i
twasmydad
soIhadnochoi cebuttoanswer
Me:
heydad
Dad:
heyAbongi
we.Ngi
kukhumbul
emnt
anam
Isighed.Ihadn'
tgonehomefortheSeptember
break,Ij
ustcouldn'
tfacemyf
atherwit
h
everyt
hingthatI'
vedoneandtheseni
ght
mares
thatIkeephavingwouldhavebeenadeadgi
ve
awayt hatsomethingi
sn'
tri
ghtwit
hme
Me:ImissyoutoobababutI'
l
lbebacknext
monthaft
ertheexams.Ipr
omise
Hi
m:Ican'twai
t.Iknowyouwillcomehome
wi
ththesameexcellentr
esul
tsandconti
nuet
o
makemepr oud
Me:
yesdad.
I
'mjustgladthatIf
indcomf
orti
nburyi
ng
myselfi
nmyschool wor
kwhenIneeda
di
str
acti
onf r
om myl i
fe.
[
08/
18,
15:
28]Mca:
*11*
"Someti
mesyouhavetofor
gethowy
ouf
eel
andrememberwhatyoudeser
ve"
Noneofusarebornal
readyknowingtheexact
pathwearemeanttowalkon,i
tsduetot aki
ng
afewwrongtur
ns,gai
ningexper
iencealongthe
waythatwegetaf eelandunder standingof
whatliferequiresfrom us.Exper ienceisthe
bestteacher,especi all
yf i
rsthandexper i
ence
andmyf i
rstyearatv arsit
yt aughtmet hat
.I
remembert hedaybef oreIwr ot
emysecond
exam, Averycameov ert ores.Thi ngsbetween
ushadbeengoi ngwel l,wewer egoi ngto
ther
apyt ogether ,
deal i
ngwi t hourl ossasa
team.Hewal kedi ntof indmesi t
t i
ngonmy
ownwi thmyt extbooki nf r
ontofme
Av
ery
:heybabe
Hepeckedmylipsthensatonmybed, hedidn'
t
seem l
i
ketheusualAver
ythatIknow,probabl
y
str
essi
ngaboutthebabysinceAphel
eleisdue
nextmont
h
Me:
hey
Igotof
fthechai
randsatnexttohi
m, het
ook
myhandsintohi
sandlookedatmef orawhi
l
e
wit
hafaintsmil
ebef
oresighi
ng
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ousomuchAbongi
we
Ismil
e,myheartal
waysmel
tsever
ytimehe
saysthatbutt
her
eissomet
hingdi
ff
erentabout
himtoday
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oobabe
Him:Iwanty outobehappyandasst ubbornas
I'
vebeenov ert
hepastcoupl eofmont hs,I
fi
nall
yreal
izedthatIcouldnevermakey ouas
happyyoudeser v
et obe.Icannevergiveyouall
ofmeandy oudon'tdeserv
et obelovedin
halv
essoI '
m sett
ingyouf r
ee.Idon'twantto
spendtherestofmyl if
eapologizi
ngtoy oufor
conti
nuouslyhurt
ingyou
I
tdidn'
thi
tmet hatIwasgetti
ngdumpedf orat
l
eastagood30seconds.Itwaswhent hefi
rst
t
earrol
leddownmycheekst hatreal
i
tyhitme.
Hewasf i
nal
lymakinghisdeci
sionandIdidn'
t
makethecut
Me:
youmakemehappyAv
ery
.It
'sal
way
sbeen
you.I'
veonl
yeverwantedyou.I'
drat
herhave
halfofyout
hanhavenoneofy ou.Pl
easedon'
t
dot hi
stome,t
ous.Please
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryAbongi
we
Hekissedmyf oreheadt henwal kingout,
l
eav i
ngmecr yi
ngandhear tbroken.Fast
forwardtomysecondy earandI 'm sti
ll
tryingto
peacemy selfbackt ogetheragai nbutI'
m doi ng
wellsofar .Myr esultsdidt akeadentduet othe
breakupbuti twasn' tseverebecausei twas
enoughf ormet okeepmybur saryandmydad
wasst i
ll
pr oudofme.Iwasnowt ur
ningintoa
gir
lygir
ly,allLiyana'sdoingbutweav esar estil
l
notsomet hingwi t
hinmyr each, notthatIev en
l
ikethem.I '
m sticki
ngt obr aidsandst raight
back
Li
yana:
I'
m donewi
thShaun,
Ireal
l
ymeani
tthi
s
ti
mearound
Me:
lol
I'
m notev
engoi
ngt
ocomment
Her:l
olfucky
ou.Youdon'
tknowhowt
obe
support
ive
Me:l
ollovey
outoomngani
.Weshouldgobuy
gr
ocer
ies.Wewon'
tgett
imeli
ker
ightnow
Her
:OKl
etmechange
IwassohappywhenIf oundoutt hatshewas
goingt obemyroommat eagain,apartfrom her
andLwakho, Idon'thavefri
endsand
surpri
singl
ymyf r
iendshipwithLwakhosur vi
ved
throughthatr
oughbr eakupIhadwi thhis
brother.WhenIsawt hepictureofAv er
yandhi s
sononFacebook, Iunfri
endedhi m becauseI
knowi nafewmont hsI'
ll
beseei ngpicturesof
him andAphelel
eget ti
ngmar ri
ed.Idon'tneed
thatkindofnegati
v i
tyi
nmyl i
fe
Liy
ana:l
et'
sgo.Wecangr
abl
unchaf
terdoi
ng
thegr
oceri
es
Me:
cool
Wedi
dourgr
ocer
ieswhi
l
elaughi
ngov
er
nonsense,t
hisgi
rlandherboyfr
ienddrama
needar eal
i
tyshowonVuzu.Thei rl
oveisn'
t
toxi
cli
kehowmi neandAv ery
'swas,theyare
j
ustabouteachother,t
heyloveeachotherbut
Shauncheatswayt oomuch
?
?:weneedt
ost
opmeet
ingl
i
ket
his
Iwasaboutt ogr abapacketoff r
ozenchi psbut
weendedupgr abbingont oi tatthesamet ime
andwor sekei t
st hel astpacket .I
tsthatguy ,
theguywhowaswear i
ngasui twhenIsawhi m
withLiyana, thesameguyIbumpedi ntoat
Anqobeaudi torswhowaswi thhisgor geous
girl
fri
endandf oroncehei sn'tinasui tbut
ratherindeni m shorts, ablackandwhi teT-shi
rt
andbl ackNi kef l
ip-
flops.Hi sbigbr owney es
stareatmef orabi ttool ongf orcomf ortandI
clearmyt hr
oatandt hat'swhenhegav emet hat
cutesmi le.ThoseTeet har ejustwayt oo
perfect
Me:
pleasel
etgoofmychi
ps
Hi
m:butIgott
othem f
ir
st
Me:
what
?Noy
oudi
dn'
t
I
'
mf r
owningnowbecauseheisl
yi
ngandhe
j
ustl
aughsatme.Mxm thi
sguy
Hi
m:OKl et
'smakeadeal
,I
'l
ll
etgooft
hechi
ps
i
nexchangefory
ournumber
Me:
for
geti
t
Hi
m:youknowit
sthel
astpacketr
ight
?And
t
hesear
ereal
l
ygoodchips
Liyanaemergesfr
om lordknowswhereand
l
ooksatus.Wepr obablylookstupi
dstandi
ngin
themi ddl
eoftheai
slefi
ghtingoverapacketof
frozenchips
Li
yana:
Liwhatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nDur
ban?
SohisnameisLi,
Ireal
l
yfor
gotaboutt
hisguy
af
terhelef
twit
hKwandothatday
Li
:wor
ktakesmeev
ery
wher
e.Wej
ustopeneda
newof
fi
ceinDur
ban
Li
yana:
yhouncl
eSosodoesn'
twantt
orest
Li
:l
olDur
banwasmama'
sidea
Li
yana:
probabl
ytokeepaney
eonmyman
Iclearmyt hr
oat
,Iwantmychipssothi
sguy
betterl
etgoofthem.Hisphonerangandwhen
hef i
sheditoutt
oanswer.Heletgoofmychips.
Finall
y
Li:
mama. ..
themeet i
ngistomorrow..
.Daddy
saidIshoul
dn'ttel
lhi
m sohewi llf
indout
tomorrow..
.I'
l
l l
eavestr
aightaf
terthe
meeting.
..
OKl oveyoutoomama
Iwant
edtol
augh.Hei
sagr
ownmant hatst
il
l
cal
l
shismom mamaandhi
sfat
herdaddy.I
ts
cut
ebutf
unnyaswell
Li
:l
adi
esI
'l
lseey
ouar
ound.Ihav
etogett
omy
hot
elr
oom
Me:
youstayi
nahot
ely
ety
ouwer
efi
ght
ingme
f
orf
rozenchi
ps.
Li
:l
oly
ouwoul
dn'
tgeti
tbabe
Hewi nkedatmet henwalkedaway ,OKsoI
'
m
babenowandIwoul dn'
tunderstandan
unnecessaryf
rozenchipsfight
.Alri
ght
Whenwegotbackt ores,weunpackedthe
grocer
ies,or
der
edst eer
sandatewhile
watchi
ngamov ie.Lwakhodecidetoinv
adeour
spacesincechi
l
lingathisfl
atwassuddenly
bori
ng
Lwakho:
itsSat
urday
,let
'sgoout
Me:
no
Li
yana:
yesno
Lwakho:i
sthatayesorano?I
'm confused.
Guyscomeon, weneedavi
be.Wear eyoung
andfr
esh.Don'
tmakemebeg
Me:
thendon'
tbeg.
Hebegged,sul
kedandIt
hinkhewaseven
cl
osetocry
ingwhenwefinal
lyagr
eedt
ogoout
wit
hhim.Ichangedintoablackdr
essthatwas
openedatt
heback, bl
ackandgoldpumpsthen
Iti
edmybraidsint
oaneatbun.
Li
yana:
makeupny
ana?
Me:
for
geti
t
Lwakho:atl
eastshedoesn'
tl
ookl
ikeasoccer
pl
ayeranymore.You'
vedonewel
lLiy
ana.
Ipunchedhim onhisarm andhescreamedin
agony,mysoccerplayerselfwasenought
o
att
racthiswhoreofabrothersohemustnot
comeatmewi thnonsense.Welefti
nLwakho'
s
car,whenwegott otheclub,weorder
ed
cocktai
lswhil
ehehadbeer
Lwakho:
Abongstakei
teasy
,Iknowhowy
ou
ar
ewheny ouar
edrunk
Me:
dudei
twasaonet
imet
hing.Leti
tgo
Wedrank,
tal
kedandhadagoodti
me.Itwasa
gr
eatwaytol
oosenupbef
oreschool
star
ts
agai
n.Weev
enor
der
edf
oodandj
usthadf
un
Lwakho:
Idi
dn'
tknowLi
mil
ewasi
ntown
Me:
whoi
sthat
?
Li
yana:t
heguyyouwerepl
ayi
ngt
ugofwarwi
th
atSpar
.Overf
rozenf
ri
es
What?Thisguyisstal
kingme, waitIthi
nkIjust
soundedli
keKwandot hereforasecond.I'm
hati
ngmy sel
falr
eady.Itur
nar oundandspot
hi
m withtwoguysandagi rl
.It hi
nkI'
m drool
ing
becausehelookssosexyinj eans,achecked
shi
rtandbrownjacket.
Lwakho:
shoul
dIi
nvi
tet
hem ov
er?
Li
yana:
yes
Me:
no
Lwakhol
aughsandshakeshi
shead
Lwakho:howarey
ouguy
sfri
endswheny
ou
can'
tevenagr
eeonsi
mplet
hings?
Hei nvi
testhem ov er,I
'm al
readyinmyhappy
placewi t
ht hi
salcohol soIdon'tev encat chthe
namesoft hetwoguy sandt hegirlhei swi t
h.I
getupt ogodancewi t
hLwakhoandt hat'
sas
farasmymemor yt akesmeoft hatpar ti
cular
night.NextdayIwakeupi nahugebed, soft
whitesheet sandcomf ort
ablecomf orter
.I'm
dressedinaguy '
sshi r
tandmyunder wear .Oh
shit.Nononowhathav eIdone.Thi siswhyI
don'tdri
nk.Thedooropensandhewal ksin
dressedinj ustpyj
amapant s,t
heyar esitt
ing
l
owenoughf ormet oseehi sv -
li
nes.Hei s
carryi
ngat raywithagl assofwat er ,aglassof
j
uiceandwhatl ooksl i
kepainkil
lers.Coul dbe
drugsbutl etmegi vehimt hebenef itofthe
doubt
Li
:mor
ningsl
eepyhead
Hei ssmil
ingagain.Hehassuchabeautif
ul
smile,nowthatI'
m not
ici
nghim pr
operl
yIsee
thathehasadi mpleonhisl
eftcheekandon
hi
schi
n.Theymakehi
mlookev
enhot
ter
Me:
hey
Hepl
acest
hetr
ayont
hesi
depedest
alt
hen
cl
i
mbsonthebed
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?Nohangov
er
Myheadwaspoundingsoofcour seIhavea
hangoverbutmybi
ggestwor r
yri
ghtnowi st
he
Whereaboutsofmyfr
iends.Thosetr
ait
ors.
[
08/
18,
15:
28]Mca:
*12*
"
Leti
thur
t.Leti
tbl
eed.Leti
theal
.Andl
eti
tgo.
"
Ifoundmy selfstar
ingatt hisman, hewas
gorgeous,mat ureandst r
ong.Hi shaircut
neatl
y,notbaldbutt herewasbar el
yanyhairon
hi
shead, histhickpinkli
ps, thedimples,t
hebig
browney esandt hatsmi l
e.WowGodr eal
lyt
ook
hi
st i
meandputi nallhiseffortsinmakingthi
s
man.Hecl ickedhisf i
ngersinf r
ontofmyey es,
snappingmeoutoft helittl
edaydr eam Iwas
hav
ing
Li
:di
dIbor
eyoual
ready
?
Me:
lol
may
be.Idon'
tknow.
Iwastr
yingt
oplayitcoolwit
hthisguy
,last
thi
ngIneedi
sanotherAverysit
uati
on
Hi
m:l
olIshoul
dbeoff
endedbutj
udgi
ngf
rom
t
hewayyouarebl
ushi
ng,Iknowy
ouarel
yi
ng.
Idi
dn'tevenknowmycheekswer eal
readyon
heatmodebutIqui ckl
ycover
edmyeyesandhe
j
ustlaughed.Ist
il
lwantedtoknowwherethose
twotrai
torsIcal
lfr
iendsar
e
Me:
hav
eyouseenmyphone?
Hewal kedt othedresserandretur
nedwit
hmy
phone, Ihadmi ssedcall
sfrom mydad,Li
yana
andLwakho.Theybet terhaveadamngood
explanationast owhytheyjustl
etmegohome
withsomer andom guy
Me:
Ineedt
ocal
lmyf
ri
ends
Him: I
'
lltakeashowersol ongt
heny oucan
orderbreakfastforus.Justusethatphonenext
tothebedsidel amp
Me:
alr
ight
Ashegotof
fthebed,Iwassti
ll
beatingmy
mindov
erwhetherwesleptt
ogetherornot
Me:
uhm Li
Het ur
nedaround,hi
sabsaresuchadist
ract
ion,
l
ikeIcan'tf
ocuswiththoset
hingsi
nfr
ontofmy
eyes.Suchadistr
acti
on
Hi
m:babe
Butthi
sguyt
hough.Youcan'
tjustgoar
ound
call
i
ngpeopl
ebabewheny ouhaveagir
lf
ri
end.
It
srude
Me:
didwe.
..
youknow
Heshookhi
sheadwhi l
eremov i
ngthepyj
ama
pant
sandwrappingatowelaroundhiswai
st.
Howdoeshefinditsoeasytojustt
akehis
cl
othesof
finf
rontofme.
Him:
Ili
kehav
ingsexwit
hwomant hatar
e
awar
eofwhat'
shappeni
ng.Cor
psesarenotmy
ty
pe
Me:
lol
ohgood
Hi
m:wewi
l
lhav
esext
hough.Soon.Icanbet
oni
t
Idon'tknowwhythismademebl ushbutmy
cheekswer eheat
ingupli
kecrazy
.Whenhe
disappearedi
ntothebat
hroom,Idial
ed
Lwakho'snumber
Lwakho:
mor
ninggl
oryov
eral
ready
?
Me:fucky
ou.Whydi
dyoul
etmegohomewi
th
t
hisguy
Him:Li
wasn'tgoingtodoany thi
ngtoyou.I
t
rusthi
m andIcouldn'texact
lypul
lyouoffhi
m
whenyouhady ourtonguedownhi sthr
oat
whenIwantedust oleave
Me:
Lwakhoy
oul
i
e
Hebr eaksint
olaughter,
I'
mf indingnoneoft
his
funnybecausesuddenlyI'm onlevel99of
embar rassmentandjustwantt osneakout
whiletheguyisintheshower
Him:askhi
mi fyoudon'
tbel
i
eveme.Idi
dsay
youareaprobl
em whenyouaredr
unk
Me:
Ihat
eyou.By
e
Hi
m:l
ovey
out
oo
Ideci
dedtoweart
hepy j
amapant shewas
weari
ngwithawhit
eT- shir
tIfoundonthe
couchthenor
der
edbr eakfast.Hegotoutthe
showerasIwasgett
ingt hefoodfrom t
hedoor.
Helookedatmewiththebi ggestsmi
leever
Hi
m:y
oul
ookcut
einmycl
othes
Me:lol
thanks.Idi
dn'tknowwhatyouwantedt
o
eatsoIorder
edabi tifev
ery
thi
ng.Ihopei
tsOK
Hi
m:asl
ongast
her
eismeat
,I'
mfi
ne.
Hegotdressedinfr
ontofmebutIt r
iedkeepi
ng
myeyesof fhi
sbody.Ifai
led.Weatewhi l
e
tal
ki
ngaboutnothi
ngr el
evant,Ienj
oyedhis
company,hewasfunny .
Me:Ineedt
ogetbackt
ores.Ineedt
oshower
andsl
eepinmyownbed
Him:youdi
dn'tgetenoughsl
eepint
hishuge
comfybed?Ineedtohav eawordwi
ththe
managerofthi
shotelsohecanchangeallt
he
beds
Me:l
olpl
easej
ustbeanor
mal
per
sonf
oronce.
Pl
ease
Him:OKonamor eseri
ousnot
e.Whenwil
lIsee
youagai
nifIal
l
owy outol
eavemeri
ghtnow
Thequest i
oni sdoIevenwanttoseehi m agai
n?
I'
m notreadyandIknowhei sn'
ttryingtobea
secondLwakhot ome.Whenhedr oppedmeof f
atres,
hedi dn'twantmetogo,Ifoundi tcut
e
butI'
m standingoutsi
dewit
hov ersizedclot
hes.
Peopl
ewi
l
lst
artj
udgi
ng
Hi
m:y
oudi
dn'
tanswermyquest
iont
hough
Me:we'l
ltal
kthenextt
imewebumpi
ntoeach
ot
her.Fornowthi
sisgoodby
e
Iwalkedawaywi thoutlooki
ngback,
Iknewhe
Wasst i
ll
wat chi
ngmebecauseIdi dn'
thearthe
soundofhisdooropeni ngwhichwouldhave
beenanindicati
ont hathegoti
nthecar.
Me:
yout
rai
tor
Li
yana:l
oly
ouwer
einsaf
ehands.Li
is
har
mless
Me: youandLwakhokeepsayi
ngthesame
thi
ngbutany t
hingcoul
dhavehappenedand
thatSmithboykeepssayi
ngIhadmyt ongue
downLi mil
e'
sthroat
Her
:lol
wel l
youki
ndadi
d.Idon'
tbl
amey
ou
t
hough,theguyi
shot
Ist
il
ldon'
tbel
i
evet
hem,
Ithi
nkhewoul
dhav
e
tol
dmehadi tactuall
ygonedownt hatway.I
showeredthenj ustwatchedmov i
esonmy
l
aptopwithoutanyi nt
errupt
ionssi
nceLiyana
wasatShaun' s.Whenmydadcal l
ed,Iwas
alr
eadyplanningtheliesIwasgoingtotell
him
aboutl
astnight
Me:
baba
Dad:
Abongi
we
Youknowwheny ourparent
saddressesyouby
yourful
lname,
itsover
.Whateverst
oryyouspi
n
wouldbeawastebecausealreadyyouar
ein
shi
t
Me:
unj
ani
baba?
Hi
m:y
ouknowIwor
rywhenIcan'
treachy
ou
Me:I
'
m sorr
ybaba.Isl
eptear
lyandmyphone
wasonsi
lent
.
Hi
m:whywasi
tonsi
l
ent
?
Nowhowam Isupposedt
oanswert
hat
?How?
IwishIcouldj
ustsayI
'
m sorr
yandj
ustmov e
onbutifIsayt
hathewill
askmewhyI '
m sor
ry.
Iswearthi
smanshouldhavebeenateacher
Me:Ithi
nkIpr
esseditbymist
akeandi
twent
onsi
lentmode.Ionl
ysawinthemorni
ngt
hat
i
tsonsil
entmode
Him:hmmm.Iwant edtot
alkt
oy oul
astni
ght
.
Yourmotherjustshoweduphereatt
hehouse
l
ookingf
ory ou
Me:
mywhat
?Idon'
thav
eamot
hert
hough
Hi
m:Abongi
wepl
ease
Me:nobaba.Idon'
tmeananydi
srespectt
oyou
butmymotherdiedwhenIwast
hreemont hs
ol
d
Hepausedf orafewsecondst henrel
easeda
sigh.Hemustnott r
yandconv i
ncemet o
forgivethatwomanandacceptheri ntomyli
fe
becauseIwon' t.Youcan'tdi
sappearf
or
20y earsthencomel ooki
ngforme.Inyourmind
whoarey
oulooki
ngf
orbecausey oulosethe
r
ightt
obecal
ledamotheraf
terdoingthecrap
t
hatmymotherdi
d
Him:Iunderst
and.It
oldherwher
etof
indy
ou.
Justhearherout
I
'm goi
ngtotel
lhert
ov oet
sek.That
'
stheonl
y
heari
ngoutI
'
llbewil
li
ngtodo.
Me:
I'
ll
seebaba
WehungupandasmuchasIwant edt ofocus
onthemov i
eIwaswat ching,mymi ndwasno
l
ongerintoit.Itkeptdri
ft
ingof ft omymot her
andhersuddeni nt
eresti
nme.What evershe
wanted,bei takidneyorar elationshipwithme,
shewasn'tgoi ngtogetit.Secondy earwas
muchmor eintensethanf i
rstyear ,alotof
dif
fi
cultwor kandnotenought imewhi chmade
meappr eciatethatIwassi ngle.Somet i
mei n
MarchIwasouthav i
nglunchwi thLwakho
whenhesai dthemostst upidt hingev er
Lwakho:Abongsy
ourguyj
ustwal
kedwi
tha
sugarmama
Me:
whatguy
?
Hi
m:y
ourpar
tneri
ntonguewr
est
li
ng
Me:st
opbeingstupi
dandunnecessar
y.That
nev
erhappened
IturnedaroundandLi mi
lewalkedinwit
hsome
woman.Shel ookedin40sbutshewasaging
graceful
ly.Whenhespot t
edus, hecametoour
tabl
e.I'm st
il
lnotusedtohowgoodl ooki
ngthi
s
guyi s
Li
:I'
m notl
eavi
ngDurbant
hist
imearound
wit
houtyournumber
.Ohandyoulookbeaut
if
ul
bytheway
Heisso..
.Idon'tev
enknowbecausei fIsay
cockyandarrogantitwi
l
l comeacr ossasifhi
s
behavi
ori
sn'tcharmingtome.Thel adyhewas
wit
hkeptlookinginmydir ect
ion.Idon'
tknow
whybecauseLi mil
ewasr ightinfr
ontofher
Lwakho:
arey
ouguy
srel
ated?
Me:
meandwho?
Hi
m:andy
ourboy
fri
end'
ssugarmama
Me:youaredisgust
ingandwear
enotr
elat
ed.I
don'
tevenknowher
Lwakho:youl
ookali
kethough.Sheisy
ouin
20year
sti
meory ouareher20year
sago.You
getwhatImean
Il
ookedather,oureyesmetbutIdidn'tl
ook
awaybecauseIwasl ooki
ngforwhatLwakho
wasseeingandhonestlyIwasn'
tfi
ndingit.I
l
ooknothingl
ikethatwoman.
Me:
youar
eseei
ngt
hingsbr
uh.
Hi
m:shei
scomi
ngov
er
Me:
wit
hLi
?
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y
Theyst
oodbyourt
abl
ewhi
chIf
oundst
rangei
n
ev
eryaspectoft
hewor
d
Li
:soIcamet
ocol
l
ectt
henumber
Me:
isi
tyour
s?Askni
cel
y
Hi
m: loly
ouarer
eal
l
ygoi
ngt
omaket
his
di
ff
icultf
orme?
Ij
ustsmi
l
edandsi
ppedonmymi
l
kshake.
[
08/
18,
15:
28]Mca:
*13*(
shor
tinser
t)
"
Lif
enev
ergoesaccor
dingt
oyourpl
an"
Li
mileandthisl
adywerecr
eati
ngarat
her
awkwardv i
be,t
heywer
ejustst
andi
ngther
e,
bot
hoft hem l
ooki
ngatme.
Li:
Idon'twantt
ogobehi
ndy
ourbacki
nor
der
togetyournumber
Me:
youar
ebei
ngr
ude
Hef
rownedasi
fIj
ustspokeaf
orei
gnl
anguage
t
ohi
m
Me:
int
roducet
hel
adyy
ouar
ewi
thhaw
Li
:ohmybad.Thi
sisYol
andaNt
abeni
Yol
anda:
hisboss
Shesmil
ed,shehadsuchawarm smil
eandher
eyeswer
ejustsogenui
ne,wor
kinghandi
n
handwit
hhersmile
Li
:yesmyboss.Bossthi
sisLwakhoand
Abongs.Shei
smyf ut
urewif
e
Me:
it'
sAbongi
weact
ual
l
y.Abongi
weDube
Hersmi l
eturnedi ntowhatlookedl i
keast at
eof
shock, asifshewasl osingherbreath,Li
broughtherachai randshesatdown.I 'v
ebeen
i
nsomanyawkwar dsi
tuati
onsbutt hi
sone
takesthecake, onemi nuteI'
m corneredformy
numberandt henextmi nuteLi'
sbossi s5t o
dying.Sowhatdowedo?Dowest ayunt i
lshe
i
sOKori sitsafeforust oleave,i
tsnotlikewe
aretightwitht hi
sl ady
Li
:ar
eyouOK?
Shet
akesanot
hersi
pofherwat
ert
hennods
Yol
anda:i
twasjustami
norpani
cat
tack,
not
hingmajor
Me:wel
lI'
m gl
ady ouar
efeel
i
ngbet
ter
.Weuhm
hav
etogetgoing
Whenshenods, LwakhoandIdashedoutof
therel
i
keli
ghtni
ngboltsandthemomentwe
gottothecar
,westartedl
aughi
ng.Iknowits
evil
ofusbutthatwasoneawkwar dsi
tuat
ion
Lwakho:
youat
tr
actsomuchdr
amabr
uh
Me:l
ol me?Howwasanyoft
hatmyf
aul
t?
Expl
ainyour
sel
f
Hi
m:l
oli
tjusti
syourf
aul
t
LaterthatdaywhenIwaschill
ingwithLiyana,
herphoner angthentwosecondslatershegave
i
ttome.Ishr uggedmyshoulders,mywayof
askingwhatt hehel
landsheshruggedher s
back.
Me:
hel
l
o
Li
:I
'm out
side
Me:
ohOKt
hat
'sni
ce
Him:l
olpl
easecomeout
side.I
'
dli
ket
otal
kto
you
Me:
that
'sbet
ter
.Gi
vemeami
nut
e
Ihungup, gavethephonet oLiyanaandj ust
chil
l
ed.TheseSmi thboysthi
nkt heycanj ust
cl
icktheirfi
ngersandgi r
lswil
lfallundertheir
spell
s.Wellnotme.Oncebi t
ten,twiceshy .I
'
ve
l
earntmyl esson.Liyanakeptstealinggl
ances
atmeandev entuall
ywhensher eal i
zedthather
eyesignalsweren'tgoingtocutit,sheopened
hermout h
Li
yana:di
dyounotsayy
ouwer
egoi
ngt
ogo
out
side?
Me:
whatf
or?
Her
:toLi
.
Me:Isai
dnosucht
hing.I
'
m enj
oyi
ngHowIMet
YourMother
Shechuckl
edwhi
l
eshakingherhead.5mi
nut
es
l
ater
,ther
ewasaknockonthedoor
Li
yana:
I'
ll
geti
t
Me:
hmm
Shegr
abbedherphoneandheadedt
othedoor,
Idi
dn'
tturnar
oundtoseewhowasknocki
ng,I
knewtheywouldn'
tbel
ooki
ngformeanyway
Li
yana:
carkey
spl
ease.
..
thanky
ou
Whent hedoorcl
osed,
Itur
nedaroundand
ther
ehewas, nosmil
etodaybutthebi
g
beauti
fulbr
owneyeswerestar
ingatme
i
ntensely
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Li
:youst
oodmeup
Me:
Idi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwer
eser
ious
Hi
m:i
sthi
syourbed?
Ishookmyhead,het ookmyhandandledme
tomysideoftheroom, hesatont
hebedand
mademesi tonhi
sl ap
Hi
m:whyar
eyougi
vi
ngmet
her
unar
ound?
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
Him:Iknowyouf el
ttheconnect
ionbet
weenus
t
heotherday
, Iknowy ouli
kemeasmuchasI
l
ikey
oubutyety ouareplayi
nghardtoget
.Why?
Everyencount
erwithLi
mi l
ehasbeenf unand
j
okes,Ihaveneverseenhim seri
ousandnow
I
'm sit
ti
ngonhislapgett
ingdisci
pli
nedasifI
'm
a5yearold
Me:yesIthi
nky
ouar
eacool
guy
,doIl
i
key
ou?
Idon'
tknow
Hi
m:Iknowy
oudo
Me:butI
'v
ealr
eadydatedoneSmit
hguy
,Idon'
t
wanttogodownthatr
outeagai
n
Him: Iwon'
tevenaskwhichoneoft
hei di
otsi
n
myf amilywasdumbenought ol
etyougobut
mysur nameisn'tSmi
th,
I'
m nott
heguyy ou
datedsocanInotgetpunishedf
orhisstupi
dit
y.
Iwantt obewithyou,
Iwanttomakey oumine
I'
m get t
ingasenseofdéjàv u,
Idon'tknow
anythingaboutthisguyyetI'
m drawntohim,I
pushhi m awayandhecomesf ighti
ngback
10timesmor e.Itdoesn'
tl
ooklikeI'l
lbeabl
eto
getridofhim,judgingbyhisdri
v eand
determinati
on
Me:
0765611399
Hesmiled,Iknowhedidn'
tcatchanyoft
hose
numbersbutit'
sthefactt
hatIgavei
ttohi
m
thatmakeshim smil
e
Me:
arey
oudonedi
sci
pli
ningmenow?
Hi
m:ar
eyoumygi
rl
fr
iendnow?
Me:
no
Hegotup, makingmewr apmyl egsar oundhim
thenhel oweredmeont othebed, l
ickedhi s
bottom li
pbeforebr ushinghisli
psagai nstmine.
Myey eswerealreadyshut ,mywhol ebodywas
tensingupandt hisguy shadbar elytouchedme.
Hepl acedasof tpeckonmyl ipsbef ore
drawingmei nforasl owki ss,Idon'tev en
remembert helasttimeIhadoneoft hese
kisses.Hisli
pswer ecold, sof
tandt ast edminty
Hi
m:hmmm
Igi
ggl
edthrought
heki
ssbef
orehepul
l
edback
andst
aredatme
Hi
m:notbad
Il
aughedasIhi
thi
m andpushedhi
m of
fme.
Him:shei
sabusi
vet
oo.Ar
eyout
hisr
oughi
n
bedaswell
Ibl
ushedinst
ant
ly,hei
ssocr ude,nof i
l
ter
whatsoev
erbutheisdiff
erentandIguesst hat
'
s
whatmakeshim seem soattract
ive.Well
apart
fr
om thef actthathealway
slooksmagazi
ne
coverready,thisguyhasnofl
awsonhisbody,
i
t'
scrazy
Hi
m:whenam Igoi
ngt
oseey
ouagai
n?
Me:
Ihav
enoi
dea
Hi
m: I
'
m basedi
nJo'bur
gbutItr
avelbackand
f
ort
hbetweenPE,Jo'
burgandDurban
Me:sobet
weenal
lyourt
rav
els,
youwon'
thav
e
t
imeforme
Hesmiles,
I'
vemissedt
hatgor
geoussmil
eof
hi
ssi
ncehecameher eall
seri
ousandr
eadyt
o
di
sci
plethehel
loutofme
Him:I'
ll
maket i
meforyoubutI
'
llal
sogiveyou
enoughspacetomissme.Youwon'tgetitnow
buteventual
l
yyouwil
l
Thisi
sthesecondtimehemakesment i
onof
menotgetti
ngsomet hi
ng,asi
fther
eisa
great
ermeaningbehindev
eryt
hinghesays.
Mxm try
ingt obeprofoundf ornoreason.He
wasinDur banfortwoweeks, seei
ngme
every
day,wespental otoft i
mej usttal
ki
ng,we
haven'
tkissedagainsincethatdayi nmyroom
andheisl eavi
ngforPEt odaysoI '
vebeentaken
outtodinner
Li
:Imi
ssy
oual
readyandIhav
en'
tl
efty
et
Me:
shoul
dIbel
i
evey
ou?
Hi
m:y oushoul
dt r
ustmebabe.I'
m nother
eto
pl
aywithyourheart
,Ihadenoughtoy
swhile
gr
owingup
Me:
I'
m noty
ourgi
rl
fr
iendLi
mil
e
Him:whatevermakesyousleepatni
ghtbutI
alr
eadyknowt hatmyhear
tbelongst
oy ouand
thatyouwantmet oki
ssyouagain
Me:
andwi
l
lyou?
Heshookhisheadwhil
egi
vingmeagoofy
smi
le.Iwanthi
mt odomorethanj
ustki
ssme,
i
tsbeenwaytool
ongandI'
vepr
obabl
yfor
med
cobwebsbet
weenmylegs
Him:Ionl
ykissmygir
lf
ri
endandlastt
imeI
checked,
youarenotmygir
lf
ri
end
*
*
I'
m havi
ngacr
azyweekend,
Idon'
tgett
he
chancetot
ype
[
08/
18,
15:
29]Mca:
*14*
"
Don'
tov
ert
hink,
justl
eti
tgo.
"
Li:
babeI'
vebeenwithyouthewhol
eweekend,
youcan'
tpossi
blywanttocrynowt
hatIhavet
o
l
eav e
Me:
I'
m notcr
ying,
youal
way
sleav
emeany
way
Thisthi
ngifbei
ngi
nal ongdistance
sit
uati
onshipwasj
ustdriv
ingmecr azy,
I
wantedhim her
eal
lthetimebutIstil
ldon'
tfeel
readytoputmyheartoutther
e.Iknowheisa
greatguy,
amazi nginfactbutIst
il
lknowso
l
it
tleabouthim becauseheisalwayseit
heri
n
Jo'bur
gorinPE, heneverspendslongert
hana
weekinDur ban
Him:Abongi
wecomeon.BabeIhav
etoleave,
youknowthi
s.Pl
easedon'
tmakemefeelbad
abouti
t
Me:
mxm hambaLi
mil
e
Icoveredmy selfwiththecomf or
ter
,wewer eat
hishotelsui
te,that
'swher ewespendourt i
me
i
fhei saround,lazi
ngar oundinbedtal
king
aboutnonsense.Ev erytimeiwanttotouchon
famil
yorpastr elat
ionships,
hef i
ndsawayt o
maket hatsli
de
Him:OKcomewit
hmet hen.I
'
llbeinJo'
bur
gfor
twoweekst
henwhenIgotoPE, y
oucancome
back
Me:
Ican'
tj
ustgot
oJo'
bur
g,Ihav
eschool
Hi
m:i
tsnotl
i
key
ouar
ewr
it
ingt
est
s,oneweek
won'
thur
t.Pl
ease
Myhear ti
sdoi ngbackf l
i
psr i
ghtnow, I
'v
enever
beenoutofKZNandwhent heopportunit
y
present
sitself
, aguyhastobei nvol
vedand
al
readyI'm nervousjustt
hinki
ngabouti t
.What
i
fmydadf i
ndsoutIwasoutoft hepr
ov i
nce
withaguy ,
I'l
lbedead
Me:
OK
Heget sonthebed,
pullsmebymylegstot
he
edgeofthebed,makingmesquil
li
nthe
processthenheget
sbet weenmyl
egsand
pl
antsaki ssonmyforehead
Hi
m:I
'
minl
ovewi
thy
ou
Me:
Limi
l
ewespokeaboutt
his
Him:andItoldyouI'
m nothim.I'
m Li
milenot
whoeveriti
sthatbrokeyourhear
t.Iwould
neveri
ntent
ional
lyhurty
ou
Me:
hemadet
hesamepr
omi
sesandl
ook
wherethatgotme.Any wayIdon'
twanttotal
k
aboutthatbecausewe'l
lendupfight
ingas
al
way s.Whattimeisyourfl
i
ght?
Him:anyti
meI '
mready,
weareusingthe
companyjetsowhenIfini
shpacki
ng,I'
l
ldrop
youoffatressoyoucanpackandthenI'l
lpi
ck
youup
Whenhedr oppedmeof fatr
es,Li
yanawaswith
KwandoandLwakho.Shehasbeenhangi ngout
withusal otsi
nceherf ri
enddroppedoutof
schooltobeamot her.Idon'
tevencareabout
her,Igotoverthem themomentt hisy
ear
start
ed
Me:
heyguy
s
Them:
hey
Lwakho:
youar
esuchast
rangerwhenLi
mil
eis
ar
ound
Kwando:
y ouaredat
ingLinow?Yhoy
ouar
e
gunni
ngforthewhol
ef ami
ly
Li
yana:
Limi
l
eandAv
eryar
enotr
elat
ed
That'
sanotherthingIdon'
tunderst
andabout
Limil
e,heisrel
atedtoKwandoandKwandi le
butnottoAverybutAv er
y,Lwakho,Shaunand
Kwandohav ethesamesur name.Very
confusi
ng.Ii
gnoredKwandoandhercomment s,
packedandwhenIwasdone, Itext
edLimil
e
thenchil
l
edwi t
ht hem
Me:
I'
m notdat
ingLi
mil
e
Li
yana:
okwamanj
e
Me:
lol
hawmngani
Li
yana:
lol
vel
ehaw
Lwakho:
eveni fyoudateLi
,ther
eisnothing
wrongwit
ht hat.Hi
m andAveryarenotrelat
ed.
WhatKwandoi ssayingi
sli
kesay i
ngLiyanaand
Shaunar
er elat
ed
Welaughed,
thethoughtoft
hatisdi
sgusti
ng
nj
e.Theyhaveakidtoget
her.WhenItol
dLithat
I
'
m wit
hhiswholefamil
y,hecametogetme
f
rom t
heroom,huggi
ngLiyanaandKwando
t
henfi
stbumpi
ngLwakho
Lwakho:
wher
ear
eyouguy
sof
fto?
Li
:shei
svi
sit
ingmei
njozi
fort
heweek
Li
yana:
baecat
ionv
ibes.Mustbeni
ce
Me:loltsek.Canwel
eav
ebef
oret
he21
questi
onscome
KwandohasbeenquietsinceLi
mil
ewalkedi
n,
pr
obablyseeki
ngatt
enti
onofsomesortandI
wasn'
tabouttoent
ertai
nherbutsomeonewas
Li
:Kwandoar
eyouOK?
Kwando:
I'
mfi
necuz.
Li
:tal
ktome
Myfri
endswalkedmeoutwhi l
ewel ef
tKwando
wit
hLimil
e,t
heywer emaki
ngjokesaboutme
goi
ngonabaecat i
onduri
ngthesemest erand
whatnot
.Theycanbesoannoy ingandcrazy
t
heset
wo
Li
yana:
whatdoy
out
hinkt
heyar
etal
ki
ngabout
?
Ishr uggedmyshoul der s,probablyf ami l
yst uff
orsomet hing.WhenIsawhi m comi ngt owar ds
us, Ihuggedmyt woCr aziesandgoti nt hecar
afterhehadopenedt hedoorf orme.Ther i
det o
theai rportwasanawkwar done, hewasqui et,
frowni ngandl ookedl ikehehadal otonhi s
mi nd, onl
ygi vi
ngmeonewor danswer ssoIl et
him be.Lastt hi
ngIwanti st obeanui sancet o
someone.Weboar dedt hej et,sti
l
l beingv ery
awkwar dt oeachot her ,meonmyownseat
wi t
hmyphoneandear phoneswhi lehewas
busyonhi sl aptop.Wekeptst ealinggl ancesat
eachot her,Iwasj ustst aringathi shot ness, t
he
wayt hatgolfT-shirtwassot ightar oundhi s
arms.Hei si nsanelygor geous
Li
:doy
ouneedany
thi
ng?
Ipausedmysong,
thenr
emov
edt
heear
phones
f
rom myear
s
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:doy
ouneedany
thi
ngokany
eur
ight
?
Thesexinessi
nthewayhespeakst
hat
l
anguageofhis.Makesmemeltandi
nstant
ly
forgett
hatweweresit
ti
ngher
einawkward
sil
encenotsolongago
Me:
orangej
uicei
fikhona.
Henodded, headedt ot
hebarfridgeandcame
backwiththejuicethensatnexttome.Sighi
ng
i
nt hepr
ocess, nowmyhear twasr aci
ng
becausesomet hingwasclearl
ywr ong
Him:weneedtotal
kwhenwegett othefl
at.I
t
j
usthitmethatwe'
vebeendoi ngthiswhole
spendi
ngti
mewi t
heachot herthi
ngf orov
era
monthnowbutIstil
ldon'
tknowy ouandy ou
don'
tknowme
Me:
sot
hat
'swhyy
ouar
ebei
ngawkwar
d
t
owar
dsme
Hesighedfort
hesecondt
imei
nav
eryshor
t
spaceofti
me
Him:I
'm sor
ryifmysil
encehasmadey ou
uncomfort
able.Iz
oneoutwhenI'
m angry
Me:
didImakey
ouangr
y?
LasttimeIcheckedwewer egoodbef orehe
spoket oKwandoandknowi ngthatgirl
,she
probablysai dsomet hi
ngst upidtohim about
me.Heshookhi sheadt henpul l
edmet owards
him andki ssedmycheek.IswearIgot
goosebumpsj ustfrom hissimplet ouch.When
wel anded, acarbrandedLwasquar edSmi th
FinancialBrokerswasal readywai t
ingforus.
Thesamebr andi
ngwasont hejet,
makesy ou
stopandwonderhowr i
cht hesepeopl ereall
y
are.Ther i
def rom t
heai r
por twasashor tone,
notawkwar datall
,wellIwasbusyl ookingout
thewi ndowt ohaveanyawkwar dmoment s,
Jo'
bur
ghadbeaut
if
ulci
tyl
i
ght
s.
Hi
m:wel
comet
omypl
ace
Hisfl
atwassuperclean,
ever
ythinghada
metall
i
cfi
nishandtherewasaf emini
net
ouch
hereandt
here.
Me:
nicepl
ace.Il
i
kei
t
Hi
m:l
oly
oushoul
dmov
ein
Me:
don'
tpushi
t
Him:l
olamancandr
eam.I
'm goi
ngtomakeus
somethi
ngt
oeat,
youcanj
ustchi
lli
nthe
l
ounge
Me:
letmehel
p
Hi
m:don'
twor
rybabe,
I'
vegoti
t.
Hewi nkedatmewi thhal
fasmileandIjust
headedt othebedr
oom, t
ookashowerthen
woreagownov ermyhispyj
amapant sandhis
T-shi
rt.TheonesIgottheni
ghtIspentwithhi
m
theveryfir
stti
me.ItwasMarchsoseasons
wer
echangingandtheweat
herwasabitchi
l
ly.
Weateonthecouchaft
erhehadser
vedme
Me:
hav
eyoual
way
sli
vedher
e?
Him:nah,
itst
hecompanyapar
tment,
thel
ady
youmettheotherdayl
i
vedher
ebefor
eIdi
d
Me:
yourboss
Hechuckl
es.Ir
eal
l
yenj
oyseei
nghimlaugh,he
j
ustseemssomuchmorebeauti
ful
thanusual
Hi
m: y
esmyboss.Shewasn'
tmybosst
hen
t
houghbuty
eahsheli
vedher
e.
Me:
andwher
ewer
eyouatt
het
ime
Hi
m:v
arsi
ty.I
'
m onl
y23.Tur
ning24
Me:youlooksomuchmor
eol
der
.Youar
e
act
uall
yAve-
Istoppedmy selfbeforeIreali
zedthatIwas
uni
nt ent
ional
lycompar inghimt oAvery.Idon'
t
knowwhyIwashav i
ngsuchadi f
fi
cul
tt i
me
getti
ngov eraguyt hatclear
lydidn'
tdeserveme
Hi
m:weareactual
lyt
hesameage.I
'
mjusta
f
ewmonthsolder
Me:
hmmm
Him:Kwandot
oldmewhathappenedbet
ween
youguys
Me:
Limi
l
eIdon'
twantt
otal
kabouti
t
Him:whydidn'
tyoutel
lmeitwasAver
y.Al
lthi
s
ti
meI'
vebeent hi
nki
ngthati
t'
sKwandi
lesi
nceI
knowhewasi nDurbanatsomepoi
ntandyou
guyswentouttoget
her
Me:Kwandohadnor
ightt
otel
lyou.I
tsnoneof
herbusi
ness.
Igotupf r
om thecouchandheadedt ot he
ki
tchen,hefoll
owedr ightbehindmeandt he
momentIpl acedt heplatei
nt hesink,hetur ned
mear oundandki ssedme.Sl owlyatfirst,
but
myhor moneswer ehavingnoneoft hat,I'
ve
beenshy i
ngawaymyhor ni
nessforwayt oo
l
ongsoIwasal readytakinghisT-shir
tof f,he
didn'tstopme.Hi shandswentst raighttomy
butt, gi
vingitasqueezebeforelif
ti
ngmeupand
Iwr appedmyl egsaroundhiswaist.Hel edus
tothecar peti
nthelounge,tookoffev er
yitem
ofcl othi
ngIhadonandpl antedwetseduct i
ve
kissesal lovermybody ,makingmesqui r m and
quivert ohiseverytouch.Heplantedaki sson
mycooki eandImoanedl oudlybeforehet ook
hist i
meeat i
ngmeoutwhi l
eIpushedhi shead
deeperbet weenmyl egs
Me:
oohhhLi
Ifelthim chucklingwhilemybodyt ensedup,I
didn'twantt ocum y et
,IWant edthistol
astfor
awhi le.Whenhei nsert
edaf i
nger,Icoul
dn'
t
holdbackany moreandIjustrel
eased,
screami nghi snamel oudl
ywhi l
etryi
ngtocatch
mybr eaththenheki ssedmyf oreheadand
pull
edmecl osertohim
Hi
m: l
olsoy
ouar
ebot
hascr
eameranda
moaner
Ihithi
schestpai
nful
lyandhel
aughedwhi
l
e
pinchi
ngmynipples
Hi
m:Il
i
key
ourboobs
Me:
real
l
y?Theyar
esmal
lthough
Hi
m:st
il
lboobsbabe.
Hel
oweredhi
sheadt
osuckonet
henpecked
myl
ips
Hi
m: I
'
m goi
ngt
oenj
oyget
ti
ngt
oknowy
out
his
week
Me:
sosex
?
Him:l
olIwon'tl
ety
ouusemel i
kethat
.Mydick
i
sstri
ctl
yreserv
edformygirl
fr
iendandasy
ou
knowyouarenotmygirl
fr
iend
Myhandwenttothebulgeinhi
spantsandI
gent
lyr
ubbedoverhi
sdickoverhi
sjeans.When
hi
sgroanbecamelouder,
heheldmyhand
Hi
m:y
ouar
eki
l
li
ngmebabe
Me:
lol
shame.I
'
m goi
ngt
ogetcl
eanedup
Ididn'
tbot hertogetdr essed, Ijustgotupf rom
hischestandwal kedt owar dshi sroom.Icoul d
feelhi
sst aresonmyassandIl aughedt o
my sel
f.Iopenedoneoft hedrawer s,t
hebot tom
oneont hesi deoft heheadboar d, Iwasl ooking
forashowercapbutwhenmyey eslandedona
photograph, cur
iositygott hebet terofmeandI
pull
editout .Myhear tnear l
ystoppedwhenI
sawmy self,atmy3r dbirthday.Iwasi nblue
j
eansandapi ckT-shi r
t,Iturnedi taroundandi t
waswr itt
en" Thisisourdaught erAbongi we
Dube.Youar emi ssingoutonal ot.Buy a
SthandwaSam.Lov eBongani Dube"
[
08/
18,
15:
35]Mca:
*15*
"Stayawayf rom peopl
ewhocan'tt
ake
responsibil
i
tyforthei
racti
onsandwhomake
youf eelbadforbeingangryatt
hem whent
hey
dowr ong"
Istaredatt
hepi cture,Iwassoconf used.It
madenosenset hatthispict
urewouldbeher e,
whatconnect i
ondi dLimi l
ehavewithmy
parents,
mor eespeci al
lymymot her?Istormed
out,Iwaswr appedi nat owelnowandf ound
him onthecouchwat chingsoccerhighl
ights.I
thr
ewt hepictureathi m
Me:
whatt
hehel
li
sthi
s?
Hetooki
t,t
urnedi
tar
oundandf
rownedi
n
conf
usi
on
Li
:I
'venev
erseent
hisbef
orebabe.What
's
goi
ngon?
Me:r
eadwhat'
swri
tt
enatt
hebackanddon'
t
ev
enthi
nkaboutl
yi
ngtome.
Heturnedthepi
cturearound,st
aredatthe
wri
ti
ngf orawhi
lethengotupandappr oached
mebutIr ai
sedmyhandasi ndi
cati
onthathe
shoul
dn'tevent
hinkaboutcomi ngnearme
Me:
star
ttal
ki
ng
Him: Abongi
wecal m down.Idon'tknowt his
pi
cture,maybeitbelongst oYolandaor
someonet hatl
ivedher ebeforeshedid.Andaz
butitsureashelldoesn'tbelongtome.I'
v e
neverseenitbefore.Iswear
Isighi ndefeatandt hrewmy sel
font hecouch, I
don' twanttof acet hispar ti
cularpartofmyl ife,
i
tsnotwor t
hmyt i
me, energyoref forts.Iknew
mydadknewwher emymot herwasal lthese
year sandthatshedi dn' twantmei nherl i
febut
whywashesendi ngpi ct ur
est osomeonet hat
didn'twantme.I tjustdoesn' tmakesense,
thereisal i
ei nalloft his.Imi ghtnotknowr i
ght
knowbutI '
l
l knowsoonenough.Li mi l
ekneel ed
i
nf rontofme, taki
ngmyhandsi nt
ohi sand
forcingmet ol ookathi m, Iwassocl oset o
crying
Li
:i
sthi
syou?
Hewaspointi
ngatt
hepict
ureandInodded.He
l
ookedati
tthenatmethensmil
ed
Him:y
ouwer
efarf
rom cut
e.Iwon'
tev
enl
i
eto
you
Il
aughed,
Iwantedtocrysobadl
ybutnowI'm
l
aughi
ngandsoi shethenhegotup,
satnextto
meandpulledmetowardshim
Hi
m:sowhat
'st
hest
orywi
thy
ourpar
ent
s?
Me: mymom lef
twhenIwasaf ewmont hsol
d
andneverl
ookedback.Iwasrai
sedbymydad.
20year
sofmyl i
fet
hiswomannev erbot
hered
wit
hmeandsuddenl yshewantstomeetme.
Hi
m: andwhatdoy
ouwant
?Doy
ouwantt
o
meether?
Ishookmyhead.I'
m notevenonebi
tcurious
abouther
,shecoul
ddietodayandIwouldn't
carel
essthat
'swhyIdon'tgi
vearat
s'ass
abouther
.Shehasbeendeadt omefor20y ear
s
now.Nothi
ngcouldchangethat
Hi
m:doy
ouhat
eher
?
Me:woul
dn'
tyouhat
eaper
sont
hatabandoned
you?
Hewentquietf
orawhi l
e,j
ustbreathi
ngslowly
butnotsayi
nganyt
hing.Heissuchadar kpitof
my st
ery
.Someti
mesheopensupj ustali
ttl
e
thenret
reat
sbacktohisdarkt
wi st
edplace.
Me:
Li
Hi
m:hmmm
Me:
arey
ouOK?
Hi
m:babelooktherearesomepeopl
ethat
woul
dlov
et obereuni
tedwitht
hei
rmother
s
Me:
goodf
ort
hem.I
'
m notoneoft
hem
Him:hearmeoutAbongi we.Hati
nghermeans
youhav esomesor tofemoti
onattachedtoher
,
i
tmeansy oucareaboutherandIthinkyouowe
i
ttoy oursel
ftomeetherhalf
way,hearwhat
excuseshewi l
lthr
owy ourway,t
hent akei
t
fr
om there.
Irefusetobelievethatanypartofmefeel
s
anythingforthatwoman.Ijustwantherto
crawl underwhateverrockshehasbeenhidi
ng
i
nf orthepast20y earsandleavemethehell
al
one
Me:
doy out
hinkyoucanhel
pmef
indher
?Your
f
amil
yiswel
lconnect
ed
Helooksatmewi t
hhal fasmil
e.Hemakes
suchsi mpl
egestureslooksofreakensexy.I
'
m
sti
llnotusedtohishotness.Makesmewantt o
staylockedupinthisfl
atwithhimjustsoIdon'
t
havet oshar
ehim withtheworld
Hi
m:l
olandwhatdoy
ouknowaboutmyf
ami
l
y?
Me:well
thaty
ouguy
sar
esuperr
ichand
power
ful
Hi
m: t
heSmit
hsaresuperr
ichandpower
ful
.
Myfamil
yisj
ustanor
mal f
amil
y.
Me:
I'
m conf
used.
Hi
m:mysur
namei
sHadebenotSmi
th
Andtheplotthi
ckensbutt hi
sist hefir
stti
mehe
evenopensupabouthi sfamilysoIguessi tsa
stepi
ntherightdi
recti
on, i
tsclearthattal
ki
ng
aboutsomet hi
ngsisn'teasyforhim sohis
bodyisal
readytensingup
Me:
sohowcomey ougr
ewupwi
tht
hewhol
e
Smi
thent
our
age?
Hi
m:myparentspassedawaywhenIwas
4y
earsol
dinacaraccidentandIwasr
aisedby
myaunt,
Lwandil
eHadebe
Me:butt
heotherdayyouwereonthephone
wi
thsomeoneandy ouref
err
edtoherasmama
Him:that
'smyaunt,Icall
hert hatandher
husbanddaddybecauset hat
'swhatev eryone
wascalli
ngthem whenwewer egrowingup.
Anywaymyauntmar riedLwandi soSmi t
hso
shebecomeLwandi l
eSmi thanddaddyhast wo
brot
hers,uncl
eMikeanduncl eJay ,
uncleMi ke
i
sAveryandLwakho'
sdad.That'
swhyI
'
m
Kwandi
le'
scousi
nbutnotLwakho'
s
I
tallj
ustsoundslikeanepisodeoftheboldand
thebeaut
if
ul,suchcomplicati
onsbutallI
neededtograspwast hatheisn'
trel
atesto
Avery.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryabouty
ourpar
ent
s
Him: Idon'
tremembert
hem,mysi
sterdoes
thoughandshewasmost l
yaff
ect
edbythei
r
passing,Iwasn'
t.
Me:
soy
ouhav
easi
ster
?
Hi
m: l
olohIfor
gott
hatyout
hinkshei
smy
gi
rl
fr
iend.Al
wandeZungu
Me:wai
t,holdupjustami
nut
e.TheeAl
wande
Zungui
sy oursi
ster
?
Him:l
olOKgroupi
e.Comel
et'
sgoshowersoI
canputyout
obed
Me:
sex?
Hi
m:l
olkeepdr
eami
ng.
Hekissedmyf oreheadt henlif
tedmeupi nt o
hisarms.Aftertheshower ,wegoti nbed, tal
ked
somemor euntilIprobablypassedout .Ther e
wasjustsomet hingaboutourt alklastnight
thatmakesmef eellikeIcant r
usthi m, l
ikehe
i
sn'tbadformeandt hathegenui nelycar es
aboutme.Theweeki nJo'burgwasamazi ng,he
wouldgot owor k,calli
ngmeev erytwohour s
j
usttochecki fI'
m stillokandt hencomehome
tohomecookedmeal sandcuddl es.Ireallywas
enjoyi
ngmyt imewi thhi m eventhoughwe
neverwentoutbecauseofhi scrazywor k
schedule,
Ididn'tmind
Him:canwejustt
ryt
obetoget
her
?We'v
ebot
h
enj
oyedthi
sweekandyouarel
eav
ing
tomorr
ow
Me:LiI
'm scar
ed,
whatifyouchangey
ourmi nd
aboutmet womonthsdowntheli
ne?WhatifI
scr
ewthisup?WhatifIdon'
tknowhowtolov e
y
our
ight
?Whati
f-
Him:
whatify
oustopover
thi
nki
ngal
loft
his
andj
ustl
etmelov
ey ou
Isi
ghed,Iwantedto,Ir
eal
l
ydidbutIwasso
scar
ed,myhear tcan'
tgot
hroughanot
her
hear
tbr
eak,I'
ddie.
Me:
I'
ll
tel
lyoubef
oreIl
eav
etomor
row
Hi
m:hmmm
Hegotupf rom thecouchandwal kedov erto
theki
tchen,Idon'tknowi fhewasmadatme
noworwhatbutf rom thekit
chen,
hewentov er
tothestudy,l
ockedhi mselfi
nthere.WhenI
wasgettingsleepy,Iwenttobedwi thouthi
m.
Hi
m:wakeywakeysl
eepi
ngbeaut
y
Hewaswhisper
ingi
nmyear
,maki
ngmesmi
l
e
i
nmysleep.
Hi
m:v
ukakal
okbabe
Me:
hmmm
Isl
owlyopenedmyey esandsatup,t
her
ewasa
tr
ayofbreakfastont
hepedest
al.I
twas
morni
ngalready
Me:
hey
Hi
m:mor
ningbabe
Heki
ssedt
het
ipofmynosebef
oreget
ti
ngon
t
hebedwit
hme
Hi
m:Imadey
oubr
eakf
ast
Me:
Icansee.Ngy
abonga.Letmegowashmy
f
ace
Hedi dn'trespondbutr athersmiled, hewas
acti
ngwei rdbutitsstil
learlyint
heday ,soI
won'tpaymuchat tenti
ont othat.Islippedmy
feetint
ohi sslippersandheadedt othe
bathroom, Il
ookedatmy selfont hemi r
ror
abovet hesi nkandt herewaswr itingoni t
,wi
th
l
ipsti
ckmi ndy ou.Igaspedl oudl
yaf terIhad
fi
nishedr eadingthenl i
teral
lyranoutt he
bathroom
Me:
Limi
l
ewhatt
hehel
l
?
Hi
m:don'
tbemadatme
Me: I
'
m Notmadatyoubuty
oucan'
tpossi
bly
expectmetosayy
es
Him:
whynot?Ther
ingi
sal
readyony
ourf
inger
sowhynot
?
Ilookedonmyl ef
thandandt hereitwas,how
didInotnot i
ceitbef
ore?Itwasbeaut i
ful
butno.
Noneoft hismakessense.Noonedoest hese
kindoft hings,y
oucan'tjustgoar ound
proposingt opeoplethatyouar en'
tina
relat
ionshipwi t
h.Itj
ustdoesn'tmakesense
Hi
m: l
et'
sski
pthedat
ingpr
ocessandj
ustget
marr
ied
Me:
why
?Itdoesn'
tmakesense
Him:t
omei tdoes.Iwantaf amil
y,Iwantki
ds
andIwantal
lofthatwithyou.I'
veneverbeeni
n
arel
ati
onshi
p,I
'dprobablyf
uckitupwi t
hout
evenreali
zingitandthenendupl osingyou.I
can'
triskthatAbongiwe,Iwanty ouinmyl i
fe
for
ever.Il
ov eyou,I'
veneversaidthattoanyone
exceptformyf amily
.Youar eeverythi
ngIwant
i
nmyl ifefortherestofmyl i
fe.Pleasesayyes
Iwal kedtowar dshi m, hewasal readyoutofbed
andst andi ngi nt hemi ddleoft heroom, I'
dbe
crazyi fIfellintot hi
s.Hei stryi
ngt olockme
downsoIwon' tleavehi m, hefearspeopl e
l
eav inghim, probabl ybecauseoft hedeat hof
hispar ents, hissi st
erget ti
ngmar r
iedand
mov ingt oanot herpr ovincef r
om hi m.Hef eel
s
aloneandnowwant smet osuddenl yr epl
aceal l
thepeopl et hathav elefthim.Theper ksof
beingapsy chol ogyst udent ,
youpi ckupt hese
thingsf r
om i nter acti
onswi thpeopl e
Me:
Ireal
lyli
keyouLimi
l
e,alotbutIcan'
tj
ust
mar
ryyou.Idon'
tknowyouwellenough
Him:you'
llgett
oknowme,
I'
m notgoi
ng
anywhere
Me:exact l
y.Let
'sjustgett
oknoweachot her
,
noskippingstepsandt henwewi l
lvi
sitt
his
conversati
onanothertime.I
'm notgoi
ng
anywhere,I'
m herewithyou.
Helookedsovulnerabl
e,l
i
keal ostli
tt
leboyas
henodded,hi
sey eswerewatery.Iwrappedmy
ar
msar oundhiswaist,
heldhi
mt i
ghtl
yand
af
terawhileherespondedtothehug.
Twoweekslater,thingsbet weenuswer e
fl
owing,weweren'tofficial
yetbuthewas
hel
pingmefindmymot her
.Turnsouttherewas
anot
herwomant hatliv
edt herebefor
eYol anda
di
dbutshehadmov edt oCapeTownandhe
washav i
ngt
roubl egettingholdofher.Ihad
j
ustwr i
tt
enmyt hirdsemest ertestsoIhadt i
me
si
ncemynextt estwasi naweek
Li
yana:Ineednewcl
othes.Scr
atcht
hat
,we
neednewcl ot
hes
Me:
youbuy
ing?
Her
:babeyouhav
eamant
hatwor
ks,
heshoul
d
bebuyi
ng
Me:
lol
hei
sn'
tmymanmngani
Her
:mxm y
ouguy
sar
eannoy
ingy
az
Wepul ledupatgat ewayandaswegotoutt he
car,Yol andawasget ti
ngoutofhercarwi thtwo
kids, l
ooki ngpr obabl y6y earsold.Shesmi led
andgr eetedusaswewal kedpastandIgr eeted
back.Ist aredatherf orwayt ool ong, shewas
tooy oungt obemymot her,i
tmakesnosense.
Ithast obet hewomani nCapeTown.Af ter
shoppi ngf orhour s,Iwasexhaust edandhungr y
sowegr abbedl unchbef oreheadi ngt ores.At
ther esr ecept ion, Iwasgi venal etter,
appar ent l
yi twasdel i
veredwhi leIwasout .I
openedt hel etterthemi nuteIgoti nmyr oom
andt hemor eIr eadi t
,theangr ierIgot .This
explainswhysher eact edt hewayshedi dwhen
shemetme, thepani cat tackandnowshe
wr i
tesmeast upi dlet t
ert otryandj usti
fyher
acti
ons.Ir eadoverthelameexcusesunti
lIwas
fedupandj ustcr
umpl edupthepaperand
tosseditont hebinthendial
edthenumberthat
wasont hebusinesscar dt
hataccompani
edthe
l
etter.YolandaNtabeni CEO
[
08/
18,
15:
35]Mca:
*16*
"
Ilookedint
hemirrorandsai
dtomysel
f:i
t'
s
t
imet oconf
rontt
hedemons,babe.
"
Itwasaf t
er4dreadf
ulr
ingst
hatsheanswered
thephoneandt hewaysheansweredmademe
reali
zet hatshehashadmynumberal l
along
andt hatshewasexpectingmycallwhi
ch
i
nf ur
iatedmeev enmore
Yol
anda:
mol
oAbongi
wemnt
anam
Me:
don'
tyoudar
ecal
lmet
hat
Shesi
ghedt
hent
ookapause
Her
:youmusthav
eal
otofquest
ions
Me:
no.I
'
m notev
enabi
tint
erest
edi
nyouor
yourl
ife.Iwantedtotelly
out hatIrecei
vedyour
rubbi
shl et
terandyourlameexcusesdon' t
changeany thi
ng.Isti
l
lhateyou, i
stil
lwant
nothi
ngt odowi t
hy ouanddon' tt
rytoreachout
tomebecauseI '
m notint
erested
Ihungupbef oreshecoul danswer ,mybr eath
wasr unningshor t,If
eltli
kethewal l
swer e
cavinginonmeandbef oreIknewi titwas
l
ightsout.I'
venev erhatedsomeonesomuch
before,I
'venev erhatedany oneact uallybut
goshIhat eYol andaNt abeni,whatwasmydad
thi
nkingv el
ey enahooki ngupwi t
haXhosa
woman?Hehasnomoneysoobv iouslyshe
wasgoi ngtol eav ehi
m wi t
hat housand
problemsandabr okenhear t
.Nay e
uyangicasulanj eforbeingthatstupi d.Whenmy
eyesopened, ittookawhi l
eformet oreal
ize
thatIwasi nhospi tal
,Lwakhowasnextt ome
togetherwithLi yanaandLi mil
e.Idon' tknow
whenhegother ebutwhenIcl earedmyt hroat
ev
ery
onel i
ft
edthei
rheadsandlookedatme,
Li
mil
erushedtomyside,taki
ngmyhandinto
hi
sandkissedi
t
Li
:heybabe,
youscar
edme
Lwakho:
yeahbuddyy
ouscar
edal
lofushey
Li
yana:t
hedoct
orsay
syouar
epr
egnanthey
.
Congrat
s
Myheartstoppedforasecondandmyeyes
wi
dened,Istaredatherwit
hmyeyesoutand
t
heyjustburstint
olaught
er
Li
yana:l
oly
oushouldhav
eseeny
our
sel
f,f
uckI
shoul
dhavetakenapi
c
Me:
voet
sekwenay
az.Ngi
zokbambay
ezwa
Lwakho:
Buddyit
'snotl
ikeyouar
eget
ti
ngl
aid
sowhyareyouevenscared
Trustthesetwocr
azypeopl
etotal
kaboutsex
themomentIwakeup, Iwasevenfeel
i
ngsorr
y
forLibecausehei
ssuchachil
ledguy,hei
sn'
t
usedt
osuchcr
azi
ness
Me:
what
'
swr
ongwi
thme?
Li
:thedoct
orsai
dyouhadapani
cat
tack
ThenIrememberthatIst
artedfeel
i
ngfuzzy
aft
erIspoketot
hatexcuseofahumanbei ng
namedYolanda,amerethoughtofherwas
enoughtolandmeinapool oft
ears.
Li
:heeybabewhat
'
swr
ong?
Me:If
oundmymot
her
,wel
lIguessshef
ound
me
Hi
m:ohshet
oldy
ou?
Ifr
ownedasIsatup.Soheknewallal
ongand
chosenottot
ell
me.Iknewit
.Iknewhewas
toogoodtobetr
ue
Him:Ifoundouti
twasherlastni
ghtandgav
e
her48hrstot
elly
ouher
selforI'
dtel
lyou
Me:
youshoul
dhav
etol
dmeoratl
eastgi
ven
meaheadsup
Lwakho:
hol
don.Li
youknowhermot
her
?How
Li
:shoul
dIt
ell
them?
Me:
nahI
'
llt
ell
them.Hi
sbossi
smymot
her
Lwakho:Iknewi
t.Thatr
esembl
ancebuddy
.
Ndakxel
ela
Li
yana:
sowhathappensnow?Ar
eyouguy
s
goi
ngtobui
l
dar el
ati
onshi
p?
Me:hel
lno.I
'
m OKonmyown.Ihavemydad,
hehasbeenmymotherandmyf
atheral
lmy
l
if
e.I
tsall
good
ThenextdayIwasdischargedfrom thehospit
al
andwentbackt or
es,Ist
il
ldon'
tknowhowt o
feel
aboutthewholethi
ngofsuddenl yhavinga
motherbutI'
m goi
ngtoputitatthebackofmy
mindandfocusonmor eimportantthings
Me:
youshoul
dreal
l
ygobackt
oJo'
bur
g
Li
:Ishoul
dbutIwon'
tunt
ilIknowy
ouwi
l
lbe
fi
ne
Me:
itwasapani
cat
tacknotcancer
.Li
I'
mfi
ne
r
eal
l
y.
Him:IthoughtIwasgoi
ngt
oloseyou.I
'
ve
neverbeenthi
sscaredi
nmyli
fe.
Me:
youwor
ryt
oomuch.I
'
mfi
ne.
Hewaspacingar
oundmyt inyroom,maki
ng
medizzysoIpul
l
edhim ont hebedj
ustsohe
cansi
tdownandstaycalm
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Hef rowned,Iwasn'
tl
yingbecauseIdofeel
strongl
yabouthim,ofcoursemyf ear
saresti
ll
therebutIrefuset
oletthem hol
dmehost age
Hi
m:di
dIj
ustheary
oucor
rect
ly
Inodwi thasmileonmyf acebuthedoesn'
t
smi l
e,i
nsteadhelooksatmeintensel
yasifI
didn'
tjustconf
essmyl ovetohi
m, wit
han
addedsmi leontopofthat
Me:
Limi
l
e
Hi
m:babe
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Hi
m: ar
eyousur
e?I
tsnott
hemedi
cat
ion
t
alki
ng?
Nowhehadaf aintsmilewhi chmadei teasi
er
formet ohi
thisarm.Mxm t hisguyt hough.He
pull
smet owardsme, placesaki ssonmy
cheekthenlooksatmewi thasmi leonhisface,
i
tsbroadernowsoIt akei tithasr egi
steredi
n
hisheadthatIwantthisrelationshipwithhim
Him:lol
youj
ustwantmydi
ck.That
'
swhati
s
happeni
ngher
e
Me:
lol
whatt
hef
uck?Lol
youar
esuchani
diot
Hi
m:I
'
myouri
diotnow.Fi
nal
l
y
Hebr oughthisfaceclosert
omi neandwe
sharedasl owkiss,seal
ingthedeal
.Hiskisses
haveawayofj ustmakingmef eell
i
keI'm being
l
ift
edof fthegroundandf l
oati
ngonacl oudof
happiness.Aweekl at
erhemadeast opi
n
Durbanbef orefl
yi
ngouttoPE,wehaddecided
thathewasgoi ngtoaccompanymewhenI
meetupwi thYol
anda.Honest
lyIdon'
tev
en
knowwhyI '
m givi
ngherasecondofmytime,
shedoesn'tdeserveit
.AsIgetready
,myphone
ri
ngs.It'
smydad.
Me:
sawbonababa
Dad:
sawbonaAbongi
we.Howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m wel
lbaba.Howar
eyou?
Him:I
'm wel
ltoo.Yourmot
hertel
l
smet
haty
ou
f
inal
l
ydecidedtomeetupwi t
hher
Irol
lmyey es,Ihateitwhensomeoner efersto
thathorr
ibl
ewomanasmymot her,
sheis
nothingt
ome.May beasur r
ogatethatcarri
ed
mef ormydadbutt hat
'sabouti
t.Sheisjust
Yolanda,norelat
iontome
Me:shehasbeencall
ingmeandI'
m hopi
ng
af
terIhearherst
upi
dexcuses,
shewil
lst
op
Hi
m:Abongi
we
Me: nobaba.Youcar eaboutherbecausey ou
l
ovedherorst i
lll
oveher ,angazbutIdon' tlove
her.Inev erhaveandInev erwi ll
.Shebasically
choset hisli
feforallofus, shechosetowal k
away ,shechoset hatImustgr owupwi thouta
mot her,shechoset obreaky ourhear
t.Allof
thi
si sbecauseofherchoi ces.Shedoesn' t
deserveany thi
ngfrom me
Het ookapause,IknowIwascr ossingtheli
ne,
probablycomingacrossasdisr
espectfulbutI
wasn'tabouttost
artlyingt
omyf atherabout
thewayIf eel
aboutthis.Noway
Him:
Iunderst
andmnt
anam.Wel
ll
etmeknow
howitgoes
Me:
OKbaba
Ihungup,t
iedmybr ai
dsintoaponyt
ailsi
nceI
wasalr
eadydressedinhighwaist
edcropped
j
eansandaskybl ueT-shi
rtwi
thwhit
esneakers.
WhenLi cal
ledtosayhei soutside,Igrabbed
myphoneandwal kedout.I'
m stil
lnotaf anof
carry
inghandbags, it
sunnecessar ybaggagenje.
Ifoundhi m st
andingoutsidehiscar,wehugged,
himlift
ingmeupandspi nningmear ound
beforeplacingmebackont hefloorandgi vi
ng
meal ongbabyki ss
Li
:heymyangel
Ismi
l
ed,
blushedact
ual
l
y
Me:
babywam.Unj
ani
?
Him:I
'vemissedy
ousonowt
hatI
'
m seei
ngy
ou
I
'm gr
eat.
Heopenedt
hedoorf ormeandIgoti
nwhi
l
ehe
goti
nthedr
iver
'sseat
Hi
m:unj
ani
wenababe?
Me:
ner
vousorpi
ssed.Angaznam
Him:
lol
rel
ax.Idon'
twanty
out
hrowi
ngt
hings
atmymotheri
nlaw
Me:
notf
unny
Hi
m:l
olr
elaxbabe.I
'
m her
e
Heplacedhi shandonmyt high,gi
vi
ngi tasoft
squeezethenf ocusedont heroadthewhol e
waytoYol anda'shouse,shelivedi
nBal l
it
oi na
doublest
or eyhouse,itwasev i
dentthatshehas
hadanicel i
fewhi l
emyf atherandIstruggled
somuch, Ifeltmyselfgett
ingangryallover
agai
n
Hi
m:wear
eher
e
Me:
let
'sl
eav
e
Hi
m:babehaah
Me:
Ineedamoment
Iexpect
edhi
mt ogetoutofthecarandgiv
eme
thatmomentbutnah,hej
ustchi
ll
ed,thr
ewhis
headbackandclosedhi
seyes
Me:
Limi
l
e
Hi
m:y
esmyangel
Me:
phumahaw
Heopenedoneey
e,l
ookedatmet
hencl
osedi
t
agai
n
Hi
m:youZul
uwomenar
ecr
azy
,youmi
ghtj
ust
r
unawaywit
hmycar
Me: l
olwhat
?Ican'
tev
endr
ivesowhywouldI
runawaywithy
ourcar
?Youarenotmaki
ng
sense
Him:buty
ouar elaughi
ngandt
hat
'
sal
lIwas
hopi
ngfor.Youready?
Ishr
uggedmyshoulders,Ir
eall
ydon'
tknowif
I'
mreadyfort
hisornotbutit
snowornev er
Hi
m:I
'
vegoty
ouOK
Inodaswebot hgotoutthecar,headedt othe
door,herangthedoorbellandthemor ewe
wait
ed,thefastermyheartbeat.Idon'tseet hi
s
tur
ningoutwell.Af
terafewmi nutes,Thedoor
openedandamanappear ed,hetookonel ook
atusthensmiled.Ididn'
thaveanysmil
es
packedfort
hisv i
sitsoIjustgav
ehim ast
rai
ght
face
[
08/
18,
15:
35]Mca:
*17*
"
Str
ongpeopl
erar
elyhav
eaneasypast
"
ThewayLimil
econver
sedwitht
hismanashe
l
edust ot
heloungewasenoughtol
etmeknow
thatt
heykneweachother
.
?
?:whatwoul
dyouguy
sli
ket
odr
ink
Li
:j
uicei
sfi
nef
orme.Babe?
It
urnedtolookathi
m, Ihadbeenlooking
ar
oundt hi
shouseanditsbeyondperfect
,the
i
nter
iordesign,
thef
uture,ev
eryt
hingaboutit
wasjustonpoint
Me:
hmmm
Li
:whatwoul
dyoul
i
ket
odr
ink?
Me:
ohj
uicei
sfi
ne.
Themannoddedandwal kedaway ,Iwonder
wher etheladyoft hemomenti sandwhenshe
willgraceuswi t
hherpr esence.Iwast r
y i
ngmy
besttocalm down, Iwasbr eathi
ngi nslowly
andexhal i
ngjustt oav oidanot herpanicattack,
Iwon' tgi
vehert hesat i
sfact i
onofbei ng
vulnerabl
ei nherpr esence.Hel lno.Theman
broughtinourdr inksinat r
ayt hensatdown.He
hasn'tint
roducedhi mselftous, welltome
becausecl earl
yheknowsLi mi l
e.Itookasi pof
themangoj ui
cet henpl acedt hatglassbackon
thetray
??
:ohpardonmymanner
s,Ihav
en'
ti
ntr
oduced
mysel
fhaveI?
Ishakemyhead,
heseemsl i
keanicemanyena
shame.Well
puttogetherandyoucanseet
hat
heisri
chandwel
l educated
??:
mynamei
sLubanzi
Zikhal
i
,Yol
andai
smy
part
ner
Part
ner?Alri
ghtl
et'
sjustbef
ancywit
htheter
m
"Boy
fri
end".Iwantt
or ol
lmyeyessobadl
ybutI
cont
ainit
.
Me:
I'
m Abongi
weDube
Banzi:
nicetofi
nal
lymeety
ouAbongi
we.I
'
ve
heardabitabouty
ou
Inod,Idon'
twantt
ospendmor et
imethan
necessaryi
nthi
shousesothi
sYolandaqueen
ofEnglandl
adybet
tercomehere,
speakandlet
mel eave
Li
:won'
tYol
andabej
oini
ngus?
Banzi
:shewil
lbutshehadanemer
gency
meeti
ngwithourson'
sspeecht
her
api
st
Me:
howmanyki
dsdoesshehav
e?
Thatquest
ioncameoutbeforeIhadti
meto
thi
nkaboutit
,Iwascuri
oustoknowhowmany
chi
ldr
enshechoseoverme.Hersonget st
o
haveaspeechther
apist
s,mustbenice
Banzi
:wehave3ki
ds,t
woboy sandadaught
er.
Lazol
ais18,
Lunat
hi16andLukhany
ais6
Me:
hmmm
Idrankmoreofmyj ui
ce,Limil
ewasj ust
watchingme,noti
nacr eepywaybuti naworry
fel
twaybuthonestlyIwasfine.Ireal
lydi
dn'
t
caremuchforYolandaandherl i
fe,Idon'
tpl
an
onbeingini
tanyway
Li
:Lazi
sst
il
li
nboar
dingschool
right
?
Banzi
:yeahhewasn'
tgoi
ngtoleavet
hatschool
j
ustbecausewemov edt
hissi
de.Youknow
howhei swi
thhi
srugby
Theyl aughandhav emor ediscussionsabout
Yolandaandherki dsuntilt
heyal l
gosi l
ent
whenshewal ksi
nwi thherdaught er,Il
ookedat
theteenageranditwasasi fIwasst ari
ngatthe
mirror.Shewasabi tdarkerthanme, pr
obably
getti
ngt hatf
rom Lubanzibutapar tfr
om that
,I
wasl ookingatmy sel
f
Yol
anda:hel
l
oev er
yone.I
'
m sor
ryf
orkeepi
ng
youguyswait
ing
Ihatetosayt
hisbutshewasl ookinggorgeous,
effor
tl
essl
ygorgeousinherskinnyjeans,
royal
bluesti
l
ett
osandbl ackbl
azer
Li
:nopr
obl
em boss
Shesharedasmi l
emomentwi thLimil
e,al
lthi
s
ti
meI '
mj ustquiet,looki
ngatmyf ingersandthe
glasst
hati t
shol di
ng.HowIwi shIdidn'
thave
tohavethismomentwi thoutmydad.She
j
oinedher" par
tner"ont hecouchast he
daughterwentupt hestairs
Yol
anda:
hel
l
oAbongi
we
Il
i
ftedmyhead,l
ookedathert
hendi
ver
tedmy
ey
eselsewher
e
Me:
hel
l
o
Banzi
:I'
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
ssomepr
ivacy
Yol
anda:
thanksl
ove.Li
mil
eIt
hinky
oucando
t
hesame
Me:
no.Li
stay
s
Iwasnowl ooki
ngather
,Iwantedhertoknow
thatImeanitandi
tsnotupfornegot
iat
ion.She
nodsandthensil
encefi
ll
stheroom.
Me:
youwant
edt
oseeme
Yolanda:Iknowy ouprobabl
yhatemeandits
becausey oudon'tknowwhathappenedand
howi thappened.Inyourmindyouj
usthave
thi
sideaofmel eavi
ngyouat3monthsand
neverlookingback
Idon'
trespond
Her:y
oufatherandIwer
eneveri
nlove.Maybe
hewasinlovewithmebutIwasneverinl
ove
wit
hhim
Me:t
henwhymar r
yhim?Whyhavesexwi
th
hi
m?Whyhav eachil
dwit
hhi
m?Why
compl
icat
ethel
iv
esoftwoot
herpeopl
ewhen
y
oucoul
dhav
eeasi
l
ywal
kedaway
Her:howdoy ouwal kawayf r
om anar ranged
mar r
iage?Howdoy ounothav esexwi t
hy our
husbandwhenhi saunt sandmot herawai tthe
bloodstainedwhitesheett hedayaf terthe
weddi ng?Howdoy ouav oi
dpregnancywhen
youdon' tevenknowwhatacont raceptiveis?
YouandIgr ewupi ndi f
ferentt
imesmnt anam,
whaty ouknewatt heageof14, Ionlygott o
knowatt heageof20andabov e.
Herquest i
onsdef ini
tel
yshutmeupbutIdon' t
feelsorr
yforher ,notatall.Shecanbl ame
peopleformaki ngchoi cesforherwheni tcame
tohermar ri
age, t
ot hesexandget ti
ngpr egnant
butnoonemadet hechoicef orhertoleaveme
behind.Shedidt hatonherown.Idon' tcare
whatshehast osay ,hermar riageand
nonexist
entrelationshipwi t
hmyf at
herhas
nothingtodowi thme.
Her
:Iwant
edt
omakesomet
hingofmyl
i
fe,
I
didn'
twantt
oj ustbesomeone'
swif
eforthe
restofmyli
fe.Ihaddreamsandambit
ionsI
neededtopursue
Li
: youarejustconfusingherYolanda.Youare
goingaboutt histhewrongwayandt hewayI
seei ti
sthatyouar etr
y i
ngtodrawsy mpathy
fr
om herf oryourselfi
shbehavior.Youareeven
starti
ngtoirr
itatemebecauseaswesi tri
ght
now, Abongiwei sundertheimpressiont
hatyou
arehermot her.Gettot hepoi
nt
Me:whatdoyoumeanI'
m undert
hei
mpr
essi
on
t
hatsheismymother
?Isshenotmymot
her?
Hel ookedatYolanda, notoncedidheturnhis
headt olookatme.Iwasnowget ti
ngeven
mor econfusedandwhenshegotupt oleav e
theroom, Iwasleftwi t
hami l
l
ionquest
ion
mar kshangingovermyhead.Whatt hehel l
is
goingonher ekanti.Sher et
urnedafewmi nutes
l
aterwi t
haphot oal bum whichshegavet o
Limiletopasstome.Isl owlyopenedit
,there
werepi
ctur
esoftwins.Thepictur
eswer etaken
alongt
imeago.Ipagedunt i
lIgottopict
uresof
t
hesamet winsatt
heirteenageyears
Me:
youar
eat
win?
Her:
Ihadatwi
nsi
ster
,shedi
edwhi
l
egi
vi
ng
bi
rt
ht oy
ou
Me:
huh?
!
Her:I
'm noty
ourmot herAbongiwe, y
ourmot her
passedaway20yearsago.Shewast heonet hat
wasmar ri
edtoyourfatherbutwhenshe
passedaway,Iwasar r
angedtot akeherpl ace.I
wasf or
cedtorai
seyouandIj ustwasn'tr eady
so3mont hsi
ntothewhol emar r
iage,Ir
anaway .
Iwantedmyownl if
e,nottoliveinmysi ster'
s
shadow.YesIwassel fi
shbutIhadt oli
v emy
l
ife
Me:wowsoy oudeci
dedt otoywit
hmyf eel
ings,
wrot
emeasoppyl et
terforwhat?Whycouldn't
youj
ustt
ell
me?Whydi dyouandmyf at
her
havet
ojustcompl
i
catemyli
fe?Whynottel
l
fr
om ayoungaget
hateksey
ourmom died
Her
:howwoul
dweexplai
nthepictur
esofus
t
ogether
?Wedi
dital
ltopr
otectyou
Me: Idon'
tbuyt hi
sstory
.Thereissomet hi
ng
elsethatbothyouandmyf atherarehidi
ng.It
makesnosense, whywasn'tIt
akent oseemy
mot her
'sgrave?Whereishergrave?Noman
thisdoesn'tmakeanysense.Youar elyi
ng
wenaYol anda.Youjustwanttoconfuseme.No
Idon'tbel
ieveyou
Iwasnowi ntears,mymi ndfl
oatingi n
confusi
on.Ift
hisiseventrue,whyt he
unnecessaryl
ies,whyhurtmebymaki ngme
bel
ievethatmymot herleftwheny oucould
haveeasil
ytol
dmet hatshedied.Deat his
easi
ertoacceptthanknowi ngthaty ouwere
abandoned
Me:
IwantaDNAt
estdone.Wi
thy
ouandmy
dad
Sheshift
edi
ndiscomfor
t,Iknowsheisl
yi
ng.
Sosheneedstostar
ttel
li
ngt het
rut
hasin
yest
erday
Her:
OKift
hat
'swhaty
ouwant
.I'
l
lcont
actmy
doct
or
Li
:noI
'
llcont
actmydoct
orandhav
eitdone.
Shenodded.Isawnoot
herReasonf
orusto
st
ayatthathousesowesai
dourgoodby
esand
l
eft
Me:
howol
disYol
anda?
Li
:l
atef
ort
ies.Pr
obabl
y48orsomet
hing.Why
?
Me:ukuthiI
'mjustthi
nki
ng.Thatmeansshe
hadmeorr atherhersi
sterhadmewhenshe
was28y etsheclai
msshewasn' tr
eadyt
orai
se
achi
ld.28isold
Li:i
tis.Ial
sodon'
tbuyherst
ory
.I'
vealready
text
edmyPIt olookint
othi
stwinsi
sterstor
y
andseeifitchecksout .Myresear
chwasn'tas
i
ndept hasthatofaPIbecauseIf oundthather
si
sterisyourmot herbutri
chpeoplewit
h
secret
schooset hekindofinformat
ionthatcan
mef oundaboutthem
Me:t
hewayIseei
t,ther
eisatwinsi
ster
,I
meanwebot
hsawt hepict
ures
Him: pi
ctur
escanbemani pulat
edmyangel .
Yolandaisyourmot her,t
hatIknowforafact
butIthi
nkherandy ourdadhavesomesor tof
arr
angementwhi chshei sprobabl
ybreaki
ngby
wantingtobeiny ourli
fe.
Isighed.Iwasexhaust ed,physicallyand
ment al
lyandthisdaywasj ustadr ag.Wegot
takeaway st
henwentt oShaun'shouse, that
'
s
wher eLimil
ewasst ay
ingfortheweekend.I '
ve
madehi m cutthishotelbusiness, whystayi
na
hotelwheny ouhav efamilyinDur ban.Mangi
rantomeasIwal kedin
Mangi
:aunt
yAbongs
Me: heybaby
.Youcan'
tcal
lmeaunt
ywhenI
'
m
yourwife
Hel
aughed,hereall
yisacuteki
d.Sohappyand
f
untobearound.Hegr eet
edLimi
leasIpl
aced
t
hefoodonthekitchencount
erandwentint
o
t
hel
ounge
Me:
heymngani
Li
yana:
heygi
rl
.Howwasi
t?
Me:dreadful
.Thatwomangiv
esmemor e
r
easonst ohateherev
eryt
imeIseeher
Itol
dhertheev
entsofourvi
sitt
oYolanda'
s
houseandshelookedahundr
edt i
mesmor e
confusedt
hanIwaswhenIwasgoi ngthr
ough
i
tall
[
08/
18,
15:
36]Mca:
*18*
"Weeatandenj
oyt
hel
i
eswhenourhear
tsar
e
hungr
y"
WhenIwasset tl
edinbedandwi thLimi l
etaking
ashower ,Idi
aledmydad' snumber .Somet hi
ng
aboutt hewayYol andaf oundi tsoeasyt o
fabri
cat eherli
estoldmet hatthereismor eto
thi
swhol edramat hanmeet stheey e,therewas
somet hingmydadwasn' ttell
i
ngme.He
answer edont he4thr i
ng, soundingt i
redand
probablyhewasasl eepont hecouch
Dad:
Abongi
we
Me:
hel
l
obaba.Unj
ani
?
Hi
m:t
ir
edbutI
'
m wel
l
.You?
Me:
sameher
e.Imetupwi
thYol
anda
Hi
m:hmmm
Me:
shesai
dshei
snotmymot
her
Hedi dn'
trespondforawhil
e,Icoul
dhearhim
breathi
ngwhi chmeanshehadn'thungup.My
heartwasr aci
ng,t
hemor eIdigdeeperi
ntoal
l
ofthis,t
hemor eIquest
ionwhetherIneed
theseanswersinmyli
feornot
.Thecuri
osi
tyi
s
getti
ngthebett
erofmeandinawayI'm
l
ongingtoknowt het
rut
h
Hi
m:shei
sly
ing
Iknewi
t.
Me:
soshei
smymot
her
?Nothert
win?
Him: yourmot herhasnev erhadat wi n.Iwoul d
havelov edtospeakt oy ouinpersonaboutal l
thi
sbutIknowexamsar egoingt obest ar t
ing
soonf ory ousoy oucan' tcomehome.Il oved
yourmot her
, Ijustwasn' tenoughf orher ,she
saidIlackedambi t
ion, dri
veandIwasset tl
ing
i
nl i
fe.Shesai dIdidn'thav edreamsl ikeshedi d
soshedoesn' tf eell
ikeIam t hekindofman
shewant sinherl if
esowebr okeup.Iwasl iv
ing
i
nPEatt hetime, wor kingasat ruckdr i
verwhi le
shewaswor kingasabi gshotinaf i
nanci al
brokerscompany .Myj obt ookmear oundt he
countryandwhenIr eturnedtoPEaf terbei ng
gonef or6mont hs,Irani ntoher.Shewas
pregnantwi thyou, shehadnoi ntent
ionof
tel
li
ngmesohadInotbumpedi ntoherthatday ,
Iwoul dnev erhav eknownt hatIwasaboutt obe
afather.Shedi dn'twantachi l
dandshedi dn't
wantt obet iedt omef oreversoshewasgoi ng
togivey ouupf oradopt ionbutIbeggedhernot
togot hroughwi t
hit.Wheny ouwer ethr
ee
mont hsol d,Il
ostmyj obandIhadt ogohome
backt oKZN.Shedi dn'twalkoutony ouwhen
youwer et hreemont hsol d,sheleftyouinmy
armsatt hehospi t
al thedayy ouwer eborn.
That'
st het rut
h.
IwassobbingwhenLi milecameoutoft he
bathr
oom,myhear twasbr eaki ngi
ntoami l
l
ion
pi
eces,IwishIhadj ustleftthiswholething
al
oneanddi dn'taskanyf urtherquesti
ons
becausei
tsst art
ingtofeel asifI'
m breakingmy
ownheartov erandov eragai nbyseekingmor e
answersbutI'm donenow.Thi sisitf
orme, I
'
m
goingtoburythiswholethi
ngandjustfocuson
myl i
feagain.Howdoy oujustl
eaveanewbor n
atthehospitalandthenj
ustli
eaboutittwent
y
yearslat
er?Ihatethatwoman
Him:Abongiweatt heendoft
hedayYol
andais
sti
l
lyourmother
, yesshemadehermist
akes
butsheisyourf
leshandblood.Xol
amntanam
Ishookmyheadasmor etearsstr
eameddown
myf ace,angisozengaxola.Ihateher,Ihateher
somuchandIhat eherevenmor eforev en
try
ingtopai ntmyf at
herasabadmant hat
forcedhertomar r
yhim,thatfor
cedhert ohave
sexwi t
hhi m andhaveme.I '
m start
ingtot hi
nk
YolandaNt abenidoesn'
tknowt hediff
er ence
betweent hetruthandalie
Me:
Iwil
lnev
erf
orgi
veher
.Shedoesn'
tdeser
ve
meory
ou.
Hesi
ghed,
heknewbet
tert
hant oarguewi
th
mewhenI'
vemadeupmymi nd.Isaid
goodnighttohi
m, hungupandgotof ft
hebed.I
needal ongrel
axingbath,t
hisdayhasbeen
nothi
ngbutacr azynightmare
Li
:yi
zaphababe
Me:
wai
t
Hi
m:ndy
akcel
amyangel
.Yi
za
Hewassitti
ngontheedgeofthebedwit
hhis
ar
m str
etchedout
.Iappr
oachedhim,hemade
mesitonhislapt
hengavemeagent l
esqueeze
Hi
m:Ihat
eitwheny
oucr
y
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
Hi
m: youar enot.You'v
ehadacr azyday
,
emotionall
ydrai
ningsoIdon' twantyoutoact
st
rongar oundme.I '
m hereforyouAbongiwe.I
n
ever
ywayy ouneedmet obe.I'
m here
Inod,t
helumponmyt hroatwouldn'
tl
etme
speakorsayanyt
hingaf
terthat
.WhenIwas
domebathing,
Icrawl
edintobedandcuddl
ed
withmyman.Whatawayt ostartour
rel
ati
onship,ourfocushasbeenEv er
ywhere
exceptonour sel
ves.Itoldhi
m whatmydad
hadsaidandt hatIwasput ti
ngthiswholethi
ng
tobed,clear
lyYolandadoesn'twantme, she
neverdidandIdon' tcarebecauseIdon'
twant
hereit
her
Li:sosinceyouknowyouhav
esibli
ngs,ar
eyou
atleastgoingt
otryabui
ldarel
ati
onshi
pwith
them
Me:
nope.I'
m goodLi,
Iwon'
tfor
cepeopl
eint
o
myl
ife.I
'
m notdesper
ate
Him:
buttheyhaven'
tdoneanythi
ng,y
ouare
maki
ngthem payforthei
rmother
'smist
akes.
Comeonbabe,that'
snotfai
r
Me:
li
fei
sn'
tfai
r
Therewasjustsomethingaboutbeingonhis
chestaft
ersuchadrainingdaythatwas
bri
ngingpeacetomysoul ,hei
sitforme.Idon'
t
thi
nkI'
dev erfindanotherguyt hati
saspat
ient
,
l
ov i
ng,understandingandtrulyasamazi
ngas
Limil
eis.Hei sjustpureper
f ecti
on
Hi
m:whyar
en'
tyousl
eepi
ng?
Me:Idon'
tknow.Ij
ustcan'
tsl
eep.I
'
m pr
obabl
y
hor
ny
Hi
m:l
olf
orgetabouti
t
Me:
hay
ibabycomeon.Youar
eki
l
li
ngmeher
e
Hewasenj oyi
ngt hi
s,heknowshowmuchI
wanthim.HowmuchIneedhi m buthei
sjust
draggi
ngthisout.Hecli
mbsont opofme,
gentl
yseparat
ingmyl egsthenpl
acesawet
ki
ssonmyneck
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:l
oly
ouar
esuchasexf
reak
Icoul
dalr
eadyf
eel
ati
ngl
i
ngsensat
ionbet
ween
mylegs
Hi
m:whenIdomakel
ovet
oyou,
Iwanti
ttobe
somet
hingt
haty
ouwant
Me:
Idowanti
t
Hi
shandgoesundermyv est
,hegiv
esmyboob
agentl
esqueezethenroll
smynippl
ebet
ween
hi
sthumbandf or
efinger
Him: Iwantittobesomet hingy
ouneed,
somet hi
ngthatwi llbeony ourmindeventhe
nextday,you'll
bet hinki
ngaboutitthewhole
day,gett
ingy oursel
fweti ntheprocess
Icoul
dalr
eadyfeelhi
serect
ionpressedhar
d
agai
nstmycookie,
hiswarm breat
honmyneck
wasenoughtomaket hehai
rsont hebackof
myneckstand
Me:
baby
Hi
m:Iwantyoutobesoturnedonthaty
our
whol
ebodyeruptsi
nanorgasm t
hemoment
mydickent
ersyou
Themor
ehespoke,
thehor
nierandwet
terIgot
,
thi
swaspur etor
tur
ebutf uckititwasdoingt
he
damnt hi
ngtomyclit.Thetingl
ewasonsome
otherl
evelofamazi
ng.Hehel pedmeoutofmy
vestandunderwear
,whenhet ooktheti
met o
admiremynakedbody ,Icouldn'
thelpbutshy
away
Him:y
ouhavet
hesexi
estbodyi
nthewor
ld.I
'
m
goi
ngtoenj
oywor
shi
ppingi
t
Mycheeksinstant
lyheatedup.Couldhebe
anymoreperf
ectthanheal r
eadyis?He
massagedmyst omach, andthenhishands
expl
oredmywetopeni ng.Histhumbrubbedmy
cl
itcausi
ngmet ogasp.
Me:
Ohwow!
Itseemsl i
keallheneedst odoi stouchme,and
Iquiverwithpleasure!Histouchwasj ust
magi cal
,sensationall
yso.Igrabbedapi l
l
ow
andsmot heredmy selfasIscreamed.Last
thingIwantisShaunandLi yanahearinghow
hornyIam orhowgoodI'
m goingtobegetti
ng
i
t.Hewast aki
nghisti
mewi t
hfingerf
ucki
ng
meandIwasdr i
ppi
ngwet.Iwantedhiminsi
de
me
Hi
m:Youwantt
ohel
pmeputt
hecondom on?
WithAveryInev
erhadtodothatsothi
swas
somethi
ngnewf orme.Idon'
tevenknowhow
youputitonbutIwantt
o
Me:
Sur
e
Irepli
edev enthoughitwashar dtospeak.He
openedt hepackageasIt ossedt hepill
owasi de,
thenhandedmet hecondom.Myhandsshook
asIputt hecondom onhim.Hewasabi tbigger
thanAv ery,buthi
spenisl
ookedabsol utel
y
beautif
ul t
ome.Oncei twason, hekissedme,
pull
ingmyl egsaroundhiswai st.Hegent l
y
enteredmeandIf el
tmycooki est r
etch,it
sbeen
wayt oolong
Me:
aaah
Hefeltabsol
utelyamazinginsideme.Whenhe
wasfull
yinsideme, al
litt
ookwasonet hr
ust
andIeruptedintoami ndblazi
ngorgasm.Iwas
makingsomanynoi sesthatIwantedtocover
myfaceagai n,buthekeptkissingme.Iwasin
heav
en!
[
08/
18,
15:
36]Mca:
*19*
"
Thankyouf
orr
emi
ndi
ngmewhatbut
ter
fl
ies
f
eell
ike"
Iwat chedhim ashesl eptont hebedand
wonder edhowIgotsol ucky
.Thi sguyisthe
definit
ionofamazing, thepasty earhasbeen
nothingbutpur ebli
ssf orus.We' vebeen
tr
av eli
ngtoget
herifIdon' thaveat estcoming
upandnowt hatI'm halfwaythroughmyf inal
yearIcan'thel
pbutwonderwhatt hefut
ure
holdsf orus
Li
:Icanf
eel
youst
ari
ng
Me:
youcal
li
tst
ari
ng,
Ical
li
tadmi
ri
ng
Him:youaresuchawei
rdo.Whyar
eyouupso
earl
yanyway?
Hepul
lsmeclosertohi
m andplacesapeckon
mycheekcausingmetoblushi
nstant
ly.Hest
il
l
hashi
seyesclosed
Me:IhaveanassignmentthatIneedtofi
nish,
I
havetodomyhai randIst
il
lhavetospend
someseriousquali
tyt
imewithyousinceyou
arel
eavi
ngt omorr
ow
Him:wel
lwecanst
artwi
tht
hequal
i
tyt
imer
ight
now
Hishandgoestothespacebet
weenmylegs
andhepresseshist
humbonmycl i
tbef
ore
sl
idi
ngafingeri
n
Hi
m:hmmm sowet
Afteraheatedmor ningworkout,
ashower
togetherandbreakfast,
heisnowdriv
ingmet
o
campussi nceIreall
yhav et
ofini
sht
his
assignmenttoday
Hi
m: you'
l
lletmeknowwhenIhav
etopi
cky
ou
upr
ight?
Me:
yesbaby
Ipeckhi sli
psbuthepul l
smei nf oradeeper
kiss.IfIhaditmyway ,I'
drat
herjustspendmy
dayi nbedwi t
hhi m getti
ngupt onogood.Il ove
hav i
ngsexnow, i
tfeelsnaturalknowingthatall
ofhim belongst omeandIdon' thavetobe
sharinghim withanotherperson.Thel i
braryis
quietandalmostempt y ,
iti
stheweekendaf t
er
all,
Ifindacubicle,switchmyl aptoponandget
towor k.
Avery
:It
houghti
twasy
ouwhenIsawy
ou
walki
ngi
n
Idi
dn'tthinkI'
dberunningintohi
m any t
ime
soon,lasttimeIsawhim wasi nmyf i
rstyear
,
hegraduat edthenextyearandthatwasi t
.I
l
ookedathi m,st
il
lthesamegoodl ookingAvery
,
helookedabi tmoremat urednow
Hi
m:canIgetahug?
Igotup,huggedhi
m,hesmeltsogoodandI
thi
nkIfeltal
it
tl
efl
utt
erofbut
ter
fl
ieswhenI
pul
ledback
Hi
m:yousti
ll
lookasbeaut
if
ulasy
oudi
dthe
l
astt
imeIsawy ou
Ismil
e,Idon'
twanttoblushthough.Imight
havefor
givenandgott
enov erhim butt
hat
doesn'
tmeanIhav ef
orgottenthehellt
hathe
putmet hr
ough.Thehel
l It
houghtwasl ov
e
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:Iwasj
usti
ntownt
oseeApheandourson
Me:al
ri
ght
.Howar
etheweddi
ngpl
anscomi
ng
al
ong
Hesi
ghedt
henpausedf
orasecond
Him: webrokeup.Af
terthebabywasborn,we
real
i
zedt hatget
ti
ngmarriedwoul
dendup
hurt
ingthebothofusalongtheway.Been
si
ngl
eev
ersi
ncet
hat
Me:
ohOK
Iwantedtolaughbutatt hesamet i
mehej ust
gavememor ereasonsast owhyI '
m happyt hat
hebrokeupwi t
hme.Whenwewer etogetherhe
wasonabouthi smot herforci
nghimt obewi t
h
Aphelel
eyetitwassoeasyf orhimtoleaveher
whenhewasdoi ngitforhi
msel ft
hanitwas
whenIhadaskedhi mt odoitforme
Him:Isti
ll
haveyournumberbutIcan'
treach
you.Iknowyoublockedme
Me:Ihadto.LookAveryIhav
eabusyday
aheadofme, Ineedt
ofini
shthi
s
Him:al
ri
ght.Wel
lhopef
ull
yI'
l
lst
il
lseeyou
ar
ound.ItwasgoodtoseeyouAbongi
we.
Real
l
ygood
Ifl
ashedhim asmi l
eandgotbacktowor k,
I
tr
iedputti
nghim atthebackofmymi ndbutI
couldn'
t,
Ihadn'
tseenhimi nsolongand
suddenl
ywhenIdo,
hei
ssi
ngl
eandl
ooki
ng
amazing.
Lwakho:y
oudi
dn'
tsayIshoul
dtel
lyouwhenhe
ret
urns
Me:hawbuddyay oungheadsupwoul
dhav
e
beenappr
eci
ated
I'
m onthephonewit
hLwakhoj
ustt
opassti
me
asIwaitforLi
mil
etopi
ckmeup.Assi
gnment
hasbeendoneanddusted
Him:yousai
dwemustkeepAver
yawayfrom
ourf
ri
endship.Any
waysohowwasseei
nghim?
Didi
tsparkanoldfl
ame?
Me:
notr eal
l
y.Iwasjustshockedtoseehim
mor
ethanany thi
ngelse.LookLij
ustgother
e,
wewil
ltalkl
ater
Hi
m:al
ri
ghtshap
Li
mileandIspendt
hedaywatchi
ngamovie,
havi
nglunchandweendi
toffwit
hshoppi
ng
thenwemadeourwayt
ohi
sfl
at.Wear
ebot
h
exhaust
ed
Li
:howdi
dtheassi
gnmentgo?
Me:i
t'
sdone.Ist
ruggl
edabi
tbutImanagedt
o
f
ini
shit
Hi
m:t
hat
'smygi
rl
HekissesmycheekandIjustl
augh.Whenhis
phonerings,
Iusethi
sasanopport
unit
ytorel
ax
myselfanddrif
tof
fint
oanicenapbutthat
l
astsforasecond
Hi
m:t
hef
am want
stocomeov
erf
orabr
aai
Me:babyno.I
'
mti
redandI
'
m noti
nthemood
f
orpeople
Hi
m:y
oudon'
twantt
oshar
eme
HeisclimbingontopofmebutIgentl
ypush
him of
f.I'
mt i
redandnoti
nthemoodf orhi
m as
well
.Wel l
notinthemoodforsexbutIwon't
saynot oanicecuddl
e
Hi
m:y
oudon'
twantme?
Me:j
usthol
dmeandt
ell
yourf
ami
l
ytol
eav
eus
al
one
Hi
m:l
olIl
ovey
ou
Heki ssesmyneckandIsl owlydri
ftofftosleep.
Ididn'twanttot hinkaboutseei ngAvery,Ididn't
wanthi mtobeaf actorinmyl if
ebutourci rcl
es
doov er l
apsoi twasboundt ohappenthatwe
runintoeachot her.Soev erySundaywehav e
l
unchatShaun' shouse, Liy
anabasicall
ylives
therenowal t
houghherpar entsarenotawar e
ofthat .Whenwegett here,Shaunisoutside
withMangi andLi joinshim whileIj
oinKwando
andLi yanaintheki tchen
Liy
ana:OKIhav
etot
ell
youguy
sthi
sbef
oreI
explode
Me:
Ial
readyknow
Ir
oll
myeyes,Iknowshepr
obabl
ywant
stot
ell
meaboutAver
y'sret
urn
Li
yana:
knowwhat
?
Me:
thatAv
eryi
sback
Li
:Av
eryi
sback?
Itur
nar
oundandheisatt
hedoor
waylooki
ng
atuswi
thwhatl
ooksli
keabl
ankexpr
essi
on
Kwando:
ohoh
Shewhispersthi
sandleav
est
heki
tchen.Mxm
thatgi
rlhasnobackbone
Me:
yeah.
Li
:andy
ouknowt
hishowbabe?
Li
yana:
letmegocheckonMangal
i
so
Thesebit
ches,leavi
ngmeher
ealoneasifI
'm
theonl
yonet hat'
sawar
eofAver
y'spr
esencein
theci
ty
Me:
Ibumpedi
ntohi
m att
hel
i
brar
yizol
o
Hi
m:bumpedi
ntohi
m ory
ouhadpl
answi
th
hi
m
Nowhisexpressi
onhasgonefrom bl
anktofull
bl
ownrage.Iswall
owspitashewalkstowards
me,Ist
ayputuntil
heisj
ustafewcentimeters
away
Him:ndit
het
hanaweAbongi
we.Ist
hatwhyyou
wereinsuchar
ush?Youwereyourushi
ngt
o
enter
tai
nhim
Me:Idi
dn'
tknowhewasbackunt
ilIsawhi
m
i
zol
o
Him:
suxokaAbongiwe.Sundenzai
sbhanxa.
Admitt
hatyouwenttobewithhimyester
day.
Admiti
tDammit!
Shaun:
bruhcal
m down.
Li
:stayoutofthi
sShaun.Idon'
ttel
lyouhowt
o
handleyourwomansodon'ttel
lmehowt o
handlemine
Shaun:I
'
m nottel
l
ingyouanythi
ng,I
'
mt ryi
ngto
handl
eyou.Abongiwemightnotbeasforgi
vi
ng
astheprev
iouswomanthatgotyoupissedoff
.
Cal
m down
[
08/
18,
15:
36]Mca:
*20*
"
Taket
imet
ogett
oknowhi
m"
Iwatchedt hem arguingbackandf orthandallI
couldthi
nkabouti swhati fShaunhadn' t
walkedin?Whatwoul dLi mi l
ehav edonet ome
becausether agedmonst erI '
m wat chi
ngright
nowi sn'
tthesameguyt hatst oodbymewhenI
neededitthemost ,
itisn'tthesameguyt hat
hasshownmenot hingbutl oveandsuppor t
overthepasty earorso.Idon' tknowt hi
sguyin
fr
ontofmeandqui tefranklyIhav enodesi ret
o
andIdon'tlikehim
Li:shutt
hefuckupandstopt
ell
i
ngmet
o
fuckencalm down,
I'
m cal
m
Shaun:
sosweari
ngi
sbeingcal
m now?Calm
downLibr
uh,y
ouareev
enscaringAbongi
we
Ohwowsot heydosti
l
lrememberthatI
'
min
t
heroom andfear
ingf
ormyli
fe.I
twasasif
heari
ngmynameswi t
chedof
ftheangerswi
tch
becausewi
thi
nsecondshewaslooki
ngatme
wit
hsomuchr emorse
Li
:babe
Hetookast eptowardsmeandIt
ookastep
back,
hisfacetensedupwhenhesawthefear
i
nmyey es,Iwasn'taboutt
ohi
dei
t
Li
:Shauncany
ougi
veusamoment
?
Me:
no
Thatcameoutwithsomuchfeari
nmyv oice,
I
wastrembli
ngandShauncoul
dseethatIno
l
ongerfel
tsafei
nLumile'
spr
esence
Shaun:
youhear
dher
Li:
I'
m notgoi
ngt
ohur
ther
.Ij
ustwantust
o
tal
k
Me:Shaunpl
easetakemet
othef
lat
,Li
mil
eis
sl
eepi
ngheretoni
ght
Li
:babecomeon,
I'
mleav
ingt
omor
row,
Ist
il
l
wantust
ospendt
imet
oget
her
Me:
no.Shaun?
Shaunlookedatmet henatLi
mil
ebef
ore
noddi
ngandgr abbi
nghiscarkey
sfr
om t
he
count
er
Shaun:
masambe
Itookmyphoneandt hekey stotheflatfrom
thecount erandwal kedoutwi t
hShaun, leavi
ng
Limilestandinginthemi ddleofthekitchen.The
drivetothef l
atwasanawkwar dsilentone, I
j
ustkeptt hi
nki
ngoft heev ent
sthattookpl ace
notsol ongago.WasLi mileabusiv
e, whoi sthi
s
girlt
hattheywer etalkingabout ?Am Iev ensafe
i
nt hisrelati
onshi
pori sitmyownper sonal
suicidemi ssi
on?
Shaun:
canwet
alkf
orasec?
Me:
sur
e
Hesi
ghsasher
est
shi
shandsonei
thersi
deof
t
hest
eer
ingwheel
Him:Iknowy ouarescaredbuttr
ustmewhenI
tel
lyouthathelovesyou.Hereal
lydoeslove
youandhej ustneedsyoutobepatientwit
h
him.Hecan'thelpthewayheis
Me:
thewayhei
s?
Hi
m: hehasatemper,aser
iousoneandhe
r
efusestogotoangermanagementcl
asses.
Heisindeni
alaboutt
hewholethi
ng
Me:andwhowast hegi
rly
ouguy
sspokeabout
?
Whathappenedt
oher?
I'
m nowst
ari
ngathi
m andhei
slooki
ng
every
wher
ebutatme
Me:
pleasej
ustt
ell
me
Hesighsandhisl
efthandgoestohi
shead,
he
scr
atchesandscr
uffl
eshishai
r
Him:hehadathingwi
thsomegir
l,t
heywere
notdat
ingbutt
heyweresl
eepi
ngtoget
herand
thi
schi ckcaughtfeeli
ngsandst art
edbehav i
ng
asi fsheishisgir
lf
riend.Onedayshewentt o
hisf l
atwithoutt
ell
inghim, f
oundhim with
anot hergir
landshesl appedhim.Let'
sjustsay
i
ttookal otofbeggingandal otofmoneybei ng
thrownatherbef oresheagr eednottopress
char ges
Me:
didhesl
apherback?
Heshakeshishead,att
hispoi
ntIcanf
eel
my
mouthgett
ingdryandthelumpri
singt
omy
t
hroat
,Iwanttheansweryetatt
hesameti
meI
f
earwhatIwillhear
Him:hebeatherupAbongiwe.Shewasi na
comafor4days,broke3r
ibs,
dislocat
edher
shoul
derandtherewerefewinternal
inj
uri
esas
well
Igaspedloudl
yasmyhandcov eredmymout h,
howcouldIlovesuchamonster?Itsonl
ya
matterofti
mebeforeIdosomethinghedoesn'
t
l
ikeandIenduplikethatgi
rl
.Yhohowwoul
dI
evenbegi
ntoexplai
nal l
ofthatt
omydad?Hay
i
Ineedtogetoutofthi
sbeforeIendupi
na
comaorwor seabodybag
Me:
Ihav
etobr
eakupwi
thhi
m
Him: wellt
hat'
sy ourdecisi
ont omakebutwhat
Icansayi sthatIknowLi mile,wegrewup
togetheri
nt hesamehouseandIknowhel oves
youandIknowy oul ovehimt oo,pr
obabl
yjust
asmuchorev enmor ethany oul
ovedAvery.He
i
sj ustabiti
nsecurebecauseoft hebondyou
andAv erywillal
waysshar e.Theguywasy our
fi
rsteveryt
hing
NowI '
m atacrossr
oad,I
'm dr ai
nedandallI
needRi ghtnowistobeal one.IthankShaunfor
theridethengetouthiscarandi ntothefl
at,r
un
my selfabathandjustsi
tint hewar m wat
er
thi
nkingaboutmyl i
fe.Everyonedr eamsofa
happyendi ngbutmineseemssof araway,
ifit
s
notmypar ent
snotwantingme, i
tswhatAv er
y
putmet hr
oughandnowt hereisLi
mi l
e.Limil
e
i
sj ustacompl i
catedmesst hatIdon'teven
knowwher eI'
l
lstarti
nfiguri
ngout.Whent he
wat erst
artsgett
ingcold,Igetout,
drymy self
thenaf t
erputt
ingonlotion,IwearhisT-shi
rt
andgeti nbedwi t
hmyphone.AsIunl ockit,I
seet her
eisanSMSf rom him andIopeni t
Fr
om:
Mine
IDON'TKNOW WHATTOSAYAPARTFROM
TELLI
NGYOUTHATI '
M SORRYANDILOVE
YOU.IREALLYDOLOVEYOUABONGI WE,
I'
D
UNDERSTANDIFYOU'DWANTNOTHI NGTO
DOWI THMEAFTERTODAYBUTINEEDYOU
TOKNOW ANDBELI EVETHATI 'DNEVERHURT
YOU.YOUAREMYWORLDBABEAND
WITHOUTYOUI '
M NOTEVENHALFTHEMANI
AM WITHYOUINMYLI FE.ILOVEYOU
Itwaswhent hetearlandedonthescreenofmy
phonethatIreal
i
z edthatIwascryi
ng.He
soundssov ul
nerablewithever
ywordIr eadi
n
thattextandIwant edtorespondbuthonestly
whatcoul dIsay ?Ican'tsayit
sOKbecauset he
wayhespoket omeear l
i
erwasn'tOK.Itl
eftme
scared,yesitdidn'tchangehowIf eelabouthi
m
butitsureashel lchangedhowIl ookathim
now.Af terspendingclosetoanhouri nbedjust
thi
nkingt hi
ngsov er,myphoner ang,i
twasan
unknownnumber
Me:
hel
l
o
??:
hellomiss,
pleasecomet
othegat
eto
col
lectyourpi
zzadeli
ver
y
Me:
pizzadel
i
ver
y?ButIdi
dn'
tor
derpi
zza
??:
aLimi l
eHadebeorder
edandpaidf
orthi
s
pi
zza.Pleasej
ustcomegeti
t,Ihav
eother
del
iver
iestomake
Me:
OKI
'
m comi
ng
AsconfusedasIwas,Iputonsweatpants,
sl
i
ppersthenwentdownstair
stothegate,t
he
manwasi mpati
ent
lyholdi
ngthepizzaboxand
asmal lenvel
ope.WhenIgotbackt othef l
at,I
tookonesl i
ceout,Iwasstarvingsi
nceIl eft
Shaun'splacewit
houteating,welli
t'
snotl i
ke
thefoodwasr eadyyetany way.Aft
ertwosl ices,
Idecidedtoopentheenv elope,t
herewasa
cardwr i
tt
en"I'
m sorr
y"ont heoutsi
dewi tha
sadteddybearlookingal
l sortsofadorable,
makingmesmi l
eabi t
.Iopenedt hecarand
readit
"Youleftinsuchahur rythaty oudidn'
teveneat
soIor deredy oupizza.Pleaseatleasttextme
j
ustsoIknowy ouareOK.Imi ssyoumyangel
andIr eal
lyreallyam sorryaboutev eryt
hing.I
guesswewi lltalkwhenIgetbackf rom Jo'bur
g
i
nt woweeks.Despi teitall
,justpleasedon't
forgetthatIlovey ouwi t
hall ofmyhear t
"
Goshwhatist hi
sguydoingtome?Nowaf ter
readi
nghislet
ter,
Ican'
thelpbutmisshim.I
haven'
thear
dhi svoi
ceinhoursbutIknowI
needthi
sdistancefr
om him.Webot hneed
breat hi
ngspace.Aftereati
ngtwomor esli
ces
ofpi zzaanddri
nkingacupofher balt
ea,Islept.
WhenIwokeupi nthemi ddl
eofthenightwith
theur getopee,Ialmostpeedmypant swhen
afterswi t
chi
ngont hesidelamp,Isawhim
sit
tingont hecouch,hiseyesredandpuffyand
somuchhur twrit
tenalloverhi
sface
Li
:Idi
dn'
tmeant
oscar
eyou
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Him:Ij
ustcametocheckony
ou,
Ineededt
o
knowthatyouwer
eOK
Igotof ft
hebed,mademywayt othebathroom,
didmybusi nessthenaf t
erfl
ushi
ngand
washingmyhands, Iwentbackintothe
bedroom.I twasonlythenthatInoti
cedthathi
s
knuckleswer ebl
eeding.Hesawmel ooki
ngat
them thenhemov edhi seyesfr
om myf aceto
hishandst henbacktome
Hi
m:i
tsnot
hing
Me:
youar
ebl
eedi
ng
Him:
I'
ll
getitcl
eanedup.Di
dyougetmyt
ext
?
Andmycard?
Me:
Idi
d.Idi
dn'
tknowhowt
orespond
Henoddedashegotupf
rom t
hecouch
Hi
m: I
'm goi
ngtogett
hiscl
eanedup.Youcan
gobacktosleep
I
sitstr
angethatnowI'
m scar
edtosl
eepwi
th
hi
mi nthehouse?Whati
fhesuff
ocat
esmein
mysleep?

[
08/
18,
15:
36]Mca:
*21*
"
Dearhear
t.
..
whyhi
m?"
Whenhewalkedbackint
ot hebedr
oom, he
foundmesit
ti
ngonmyl egsonthebed,our
eyesmetandIwasthefir
stonetolookaway.I
l
ovehim,heisn'
tper
fect
,Iwasstupi
dforev
er
thi
nki
ngheisbuteventhoughheist
hemess
heis,
real
i
tyi
sIlovehim
Li
:It
houghty
ou'
dbeasl
eepbynow
Me:
weneedt
otal
kLi
Hesighedashestar
tedundr
essi
ng,
wrappeda
towelar
oundhiswai
stthenwal
kedt
owardsme
andheldouthi
shand
Hi
m:comet
akeashowerwi
thme
Iopenedmyey eswider
,yesIlovehi
m butnot
enoughtotakemyclothesoffat3am t
otakea
shower.Hayihecandothatonhisown
Me:
I'
ll
wai
tfory
ou
Him:comeon,Ineedt
ofeel
closet
oyou.Ineed
you.Pl
easebabe
Suddenl
yIdidn'
tseethecrazyr
agi
ngmonsterI
sawearl
ieratShaun'
sbutIsawmyguy ,
mysoft
spokenhandsomemant hatIal
wayshavea
hardti
mesay i
ngnot o.BeforeIknewi t
,wear e
undertheshowert ogether
,thereissil
encei n
theroom,justthesoundsoft hewat ercrashing
onourbodi es.Hesaidhewant edtobecl oseto
mey etthespacebet weenuswasenoughf ora
thi
rdpersont ocomei nandst andthere
Him:therear
eal otoft
hingswrongwit
hme
AbongiweandIshouldhav et
oldyoubutI
fear
edy ouwalki
ngoutonme
Ilookedathi m, screwt hathewasnakedand
l
ookingal lsortsofsexy ,Iwasn'tbot heredby
thatbuthel ookedl ikeal ostandv ul
nerable
chil
d, hel
ookedl i
kehewasi npain,emot i
onal
painandt hatthewal lswerecav i
ngi nonhi m.I
want edtohol dhim, justwr apmyar msar ound
him andbet her eforhi m butitwasasi fI
couldn'tmov e,thesuddenf earIhav etowards
mei swhatkeptmegl uedt otheground
Him:IknowIscaredyouandmay behadIt
old
youbeforei
tact
uall
yhappened,
youwouldn'
t
havebeenasscar edasyouarenow.I '
m going
todeal wit
hitbecauseIcan'
tst andthewayy ou
l
ookatmer i
ghtnow,Ican'
tst
andbei ngaf r
aid
oftouchingyoubecauseofhowy ouwi l
lreact
.I
l
ovet ouchingyouAbongiwe,yourskinf eels
amazi ng,i
tssoftandbeaut
if
ul anditjustmakes
mewantt oneverkeepmyhandsof fy ou
Thenhewentsi l
entagai
n,Idon'tknowwhyI 'm
notsay i
nganyt
hingbutthewayhesay sthe
thingsheissayi
ngisenoughtomakeme
believet
hathedoesn'
tneedmet osayany more
thanwhathehasal r
eadysaid.Whenhef eel
s
cleanenough,wegetoutanddryour selv
es
bef or
eIgeti
nbedandhesi tsont hecouch
Me:
aren'
tyoucomi
ngt
obed?
Hi
m:ar
eyouOKwi
tht
hat
?
Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
oki
l
lmei
nmysl
eep?
Iaskthi
swi
thasmil
eonmyfacesoheknows
I'
mjustj
oki
ngandt
ryi
ngt
oeasethet
ensi
on.He
chuckl
essof
tl
yandwal
kst
owar
dsme
Hi
m:wellIdon'
tthi
nkifbeabl
etoki
l
lyoui
fyou
l
etmefuckyoubeforewesleep
Ihi
thi
schestashepul
lsmetowardshi
m,
ki
ssesmycheekthenl
et'
smerestonhi
schest
Hi
m:Ir
eal
l
ylov
eyourski
n
Me:
lol
sleepwei
rdo
Hi
m:l
olI
'
myourwei
rdor
ight
?
Me:
I'
ll
tel
lyoui
nthemor
ning
Iwasreall
yf eel
ingsl
eepyandjudgi ngbyhow
hewast al
king,hewasn'tabouttof allasl
eep
anyt
imesoon.WhenIwokeupt henextday ,he
wasn'
tnextt omebutt herewerev oicescomi ng
fr
om theloungesoIknewwewer en'talone
anymore.Itookaquickshowert henputonhi s
sweatpantswi t
hmyt anktopandsl eepersthen
mademywayoutt hebedroom,Ist oppedinmy
tr
ackswhenIsawwhowasi nourlounge, i
ts
noteven10am andshei
sal
readyher
e
crowdingourspace
Li
:mor
ningmyangel
Me:
mor
ningbaby
HekissedmycheekasIlookedatt
hiswoman,
shehassomenerveshowinguphere
Yol
anda:
mor
ningAbongi
we
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Shesi
ghed,Ihopeshedidn'
texpectmetoev
er
beni
cetoher,shedoesn'
tdeser
vethat
Li
:Yol
andawasj
usther
etoseemeaboutwor
k
st
uff
Yol
anda:
arey
ouguy
sli
vi
ngt
oget
hernow?
Me:
itsnoneofy
ourbusi
ness
Yol
anda:
Abongi
weI
'
m st
il
lyourmot
herso
wat
chit
Me:
funnybecausel
astt
imeIcheckedmy
mot
herdi
ed.Remember
?Yourt
win
Shebowedherhead,
mxm I
'm ov
ert
hiswoman
andherl
i
esanddrama.Ov
erher
Yolanda:youknowwhatImean.Youar est
ill
in
school,notev
en21awukwaziukuhlali
sana
nendodaAbongiwe.Howdidyourfathereven
all
owt his
Well
myf at
herdoesn'
tknowthatI'
m dat
ing,
let
al
oneshacki
ngupwi t
ha25yearoldguy.Yhohe
woul
dcomef et
chmei fheev
erf oundout
Yol
anda:
hedoesn'
tknowdoeshe?
Me:i
tsnoneofy
ourbusi
ness.St
ayoutofmy
l
if
e
Shetakesoutherphone,di
alsanumberand
befor
eIknowi t
,myfatheri
sont heotherendof
theli
ne.Thephoneisnowonl oudspeaker
.
Dad:
Yol
anda
Yol
anda:
howdi
dyouappr
oveAbongi
wet
ost
ay
wi
thaman?Ithoughtyourai
sedthi
schi
l
d
pr
oper
lysowhatrubbi
shisthi
s?
Dad:
what
?Ukhul
umangani
?
Yolandal
ookedatme,Iwasfuming.Iwantt
o
beatherupsobadl
y.Shehasnobusiness
tel
l
ingmehowt oli
vemylif
e.Sheisnothi
ngto
me
Yol
anda:
Inat
het
hanot
atakhoAbongi
we
Icl
i
ckedmyt
onguet
hent
ookt
hephonef
rom
her
Me:
baba
Dad:
what
'sgoi
ngon?Uy
aki
pit
awenamanj
e?
Me:
nobaba,
I.
..
Him:AbongiweIwanty outocomehome
i
mmedi at
elyaf
teryourlastpaper
.Thi
sDur
ban
busi
nessischangi
ngy ou.
Me:
kodwababa
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lnotr
epeatmy
sel
f
Withthatsai
dhehungupandIj ustt
hrewthe
phoneatYolandaanditl
andedonherchest.
Thiswomani sfucki
ngupmylif
ehonestlywhat
rubbi
shstuntisthi
s
Li
:It
hinky
oushoul
dleav
e
Yolanda:shei
ssti
ll
mydaughterLi
mil
e.Don'
t
for
getthatsostopthi
sbef
oreyoumakean
enemyoutofme
Li
:mylif
eoutsi
detheof
fi
cei
snoneofy
our
busi
ness.Nowleav
e
Iwasalreadyi
nthekitchenmaki ngbr
eakfast
,
anomeletwithcheese,peppers,ham,
mushroomsandbacon.Cant hisweekendbe
anymoredramati
c?YhoI 'v
ehadenoughofi t
Li
:babe
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Ili
ft
edmyey esandt heylandedonhis,hewas
smili
ng,makingmesmi leaswel l
.It
stheli
tt
le
thi
ngsguys.Weat einbedbecausehonest l
y,
wehav en'
tspentsomeal onetimethisweekend
andthebedroom isonepl aceIknowIdon't
everhavetosharehim
Me:
canIasky
ousomet
hing?
Hi
m:any
thi
ngbaby
Me:
whywer
eyourwr
ist
sbl
eedi
ng?
Helaughed,Idon'
tthi
nkt
her
ewasaj
oke
hi
ddeninthatquesti
on
Hi
m:ShaunandIgoti
ntoi
t
Me:
goti
ntowhat
?
Hi
m:wef
ought
.Not
hingmaj
or
Me:
what
?Ar
eyouser
ious?I
sheOK?
Him:Lolhewi
l
lbefine.Hehi
tsl
i
keagi r
l
anywaysohedeser
v est
obeabitbr
uisedup
Hei sst i
lll
aughingaboutt hisandI '
m st i
ll
sitt
ing
her efeeli
ngshockedasev er.I
'm drawing
pat t
ernsonhi sabs, whil
ehebr ushesmyback,
wear eatpeacer ightnow.Att hebackofmy
mi ndI '
mt hi
nkingabouthi sangerandhow
muchheneedst ofindawayt odeal withitbutI
alsof eelwe'vetouchedt oomuchont hat,with
himl eavinginaf ewhour s,Iwantt oenj oyhim
thebestwayIknowhow.Il owermydr awings
tohi sv-l
inesandhest ar
tsl aughi
ng
Hi
m: y
ouwantt
otakeadv
ant
ageofmebef
oreI
l
eave?
Inodwithasmil
eonmyf aceasIcl
i
mbont
op
hi
m, andgr
indmysel
fov
erhiscover
ed
manhood
Him:fuckbabe.Idon'
tthi
nkIhav
econdoms
here
Me:
ser
iousl
y?Ai
nawe
Hi
m:I
'
llpul
loutt
hough.Ipr
omi
se
Me:
youbet
ter
.I'
m notReadyt
obeany
one'
s
mot
her
Hesmi
l
esasheget
sri
dofourcl
othes.
Him:pl
easedon'
tcr
y,Iwi
l
lnotbebr
ibedwi
th
yourt
ears
Wear enowwaiti
ngforthecabthat
'
sgoingto
takehimtotheair
por
t,Ireal
l
yhatethi
sparti
n
ourrel
ati
onshi
p,Ij
ustwishwecouldsett
le
downinoneplace
Me:i
t'
snotbr
ibi
ngy
ou.I
tsexpr
essi
onof
emot
ions
Him:Lol
ohplease.Iknowhowy ouare.List
en
myangel,I
'
m goingtobetaki
ngupanger
managementclassesi
nJo'burgsoy ouar e
goi
ngtohavetocomet hatsi
demor eoften.I
won'
thavethetimetobetravel
ingthisside
Me:angermanagementcl
asses?Who
managedtoconvi
nceyou?
Him:lolmyl oveforyouwasallt
heconvi
nci
ngI
needed.Ireall
ydol oveyouandIknowy
ouare
goodf ormesot herefor
eIshoul
dbegoodfor
youtoo.
[
08/
18,
15:
36]Mca:
*22*
"
Stopst
ressi
ngov
ershi
tt
ypeopl
e"
AfterLimil
eleft,
IknewIneededt of ocusonmy
booksbecauset heexamswer earoundt he
cornerbutIcouldn'tf
ocus.Iwasst i
llragi
ng
withangerov erthestuntYolandapul l
ed.
Suddenlyshewant stoplayhappyf ami l
y,
mot heroftheyearafterwhatshedi dt ome.
Nx aaIwil
ldeal wit
hhersoon.Ist udiedmostof
thatdayunt i
lIgotacallforLwakho
Me:
buddy
.ThewayImi
ssy
ou
Av
ery
:lol
heyAbongi
we
Ir
oll
edmyeyes,
I'
m goi
ngt
okill
Lwakhol
onke
Smit
h.Hei
sadeadguywalki
ng
Me:
hey
Hi
m: yousounddi
sappoi
ntedt
hatI
'
mtheone
t
hatcall
ed
Me:
Ijustwasn'
texpect
ingy
ou
Him:ohuhm Iwashopingwecouldgeta
chancetotal
k.Iknowexamsarecomingupso
Iwon'tt
akeupmuchofy ourt
ime.Ioweyouso
manyexplanati
onsandsomanyapologi
es
Isi
gh, I
'
vewant edtohearhi m apol
ogizef orthe
thi
ngsheputmet hroughf orovert
woy ears
now.Iev enfor
givehim andacceptedt he
apologyIneverrecei
vedj ustsoIcouldmov eon
wit
hmyl if
eandnowher ehei swanti
ngt ogiv e
meev erythi
ngIwantedwhenwebr okeup
Me:
I'
ll
sendy
oumyl
ocat
ion
Hi
m:al
ri
ght
.ThanksAbongi
we
Me:
sho
Ihungupandmyhear
tst
art
edr
aci
ng,
Iknow
damnwel lthatLimilewoul dn'
tbeOKwi t
hany
ofthi
sbutIowei ttomy selftosetmy sel
ffree
fr
om Av er
y.Eveni fI
'dtryexplainingittoLi,
he
wouldn'
tgetit.Hehasnev erdat ed,hedoesn't
knowwhatabr okenhear tfeelslike.When
Averyarri
vesIopenupf orhim andhewal ksin
carr
yingaboxofchocol ates.Weshar eahug
andIleadhimt ot helounge
Av
ery
:youf
inal
l
ymov
edoutofr
es
Me:y
eahLiyanamovedi
nwit
hShaunand
Li
mil
esuggestedwedot
hesame
Hi
m: wowsoy ouandLi
arer
eal
l
yani
tem?You
ar
ereal
lydat
inghim?
Haibokant
iwhatdi
dheexpect?ThatIwasj
ust
goi
ngtonotdateaf
terhel
eftme.Such
arr
ogance
Me:
itsbeenay
earnow
Hi
m:Iwanty
oubackAbongi
we
Me:
aski
es?
Him:lookIfuckedup,Ishoul
dneverhav
e
chosenApheleleoveryou.Il
ovey
ouandI '
m
goingtofi
ghtforyou
Me:i
tst
ool
atefort
hatAver
y.I
'
m wit
hLi
now,
I
'v
emovedonandyouledmetothat
Him: Li i
snev erhere,heisal way stravel
i
ng
probabl yfuckinggirl
sinev erycity.Iknow
Limil
ewaymor et
hany oudo, hei sn'
tthe
rel
ati
onshi ptypeandhef uckswomenupwhen
theyst artacti
nglikehisgi rl
fr
iend.BabyIwoul d
neverlayahandony ou,Ilovey ouandI '
m back
thi
ssi def orgoodnow, I'
m backf ory ou
Iletoutasof tchuckl
easIst ar
edathim, r
eal
ly
l
ookedathi m, t
hisar
rogancethatheprobabl
y
thinksisconfidence,
theaudacityt
ocomei n
her eanddemandmeback.Themomenty ou
say" Iwant"that'
sademandnotar equest
Me:
youar
eri
ght
,Li
mil
eishar
dlyher
e,he
travelsalotbutwhatthingIdoknowi sthathe
l
ov esjustme, hedoesn'tmakemef eelli
ke
secondbest ,hedoesn'tchooseotherpeople
ov ermeandIknowal labouthi
spastandt hat
hei sn'
ttherel
ati
onshiptypebuthechanged
thatbecauseofme.It hinkourti
meher eisup,
pleaseleave
Him:OKI '
l
lleavebutthinkaboutit.Justmeand
you,weusedt osharesomet hi
ngbeaut i
ful
Abongiwe,yesitwasn'tconventi
onal butitwas
beauti
ful
.Wel ovedeachot her
Me:
byeAv
ery
Hesmi l
edashegotup, pl
acedasof tpeckon
mycheekandwal kedoutt hedoor.YhoIcan't
sayIsawanyoft hiscoming.Myexamswer e
start
ingin2weekssoIwasal way soncampus
studyingatt
heli
braryandont hi
sSat ur
day
therewasopendayf orthemat r
icsandthat'
s
whenIspot t
edYolanda,Lubanziandsomeki d.
Iwant edtowal
kawaybef oretheysawmebut
Banzi
spot
tedmeandcal
l
edmeov
er
Me:
hel
l
o
Banzi
:heyAbongi
wehowar
eyou?
Hewassmi li
ngandIsmil
edback,
Ihadno
reasontoberudetohi
m,i
tshi
s"part
ner
"thatI
hatenothi
m orhiski
ds
Me:
I'
m OKandy
ou?
Banzi
:I'
m well
.Letmeintr
oduceyouto
someone.Lazolathi
sisAbongi
we,Abongi
we
meetLazola.Heisourson
Lazol
a:woawy
oul
ookexact
lyl
i
kemom and
Lunat
hi
Me:
Lol
nicet
omeety
out
ooLazol
a
Lazol
a:ohcr
ap,
sor
ry.Doy
ougot
oschool
her
e?
Me:
yeahFi
nal
yeari
npsy
chol
ogy
.
Lazol
a:ni
ce.I
'
m doi
ngmyf
ir
sty
eari
nBCom
Market
ing
Il
ikedLazolaf orsomer eason, wej ustcli
cked
andasmuchasIwasabi thesitantintakinghis
number ,Ir
emember edLimile'
swor dswhenhe
saidIshouldn'
tmakemysi bli
ngspayf orthei
r
mot her
'smistakes.Afterexchangi ngnumber s
withLazola,Lwakhopi ckedmeupf rom
campusandwewentt olunch,Liyanawas
goingtojoinusl at
er
Me:
I'
m madaty
ou
Lwakho:
hewasannoy
ingmesoIhadt
ogi
vei
n
Me:Idon'
twanthiminmyl
i
feLwakho,
I'
m
happywit
hLi
.Ireal
lyam
Hi
m:OKI
'
m sor
ry.Iwaswr
ong
Me:
thanky
ou
Weor deredourmeal
sandastheybrought
them Li
yanawalkedi
nwi t
hKwando.Isti
l
lhate
her,
wellshedoesn'
tthi
nksheishi
ghand
mightyanymorebutIsti
l
ldon'
twantheraround
me.LiyanaandIsharedahug
Liy
ana:Abongswehav elessthan6mont
hs
befor
ewegetourdegr ees,wherear
ewegoi
ng
towork?I'
m sost
ressed
Me:
lol
don'
tyouhav
eri
chpar
ent
s?
Liyana:
wellt
heyar
enott hatr
ich,
theyareOK
njebutIhav
easont hatIneedtobelooki
ngout
for
Me:
asont
hathasar
ichdad
Everyonelaughs,Li
yanajustli
kesst
ressi
ng
overnonsensebutIam toor el
axedformy
l
iking,Ishoul
dhav eappl
iedsomewher ebynow
butno, al
lI'
vebeendoingisstari
ngatLimi
le'
s
face
Lwakho:Li
yanar
ememberaunt
ieLwa'
sbi
rt
hday
di
nner?
Li
yana:
whi
chone?Shehashadami
l
li
onbr
uh
Hel
aughsandshakeshi
shead
Lwakho:
theonet
hatwasr
ecor
ded,
theone
wher
euncl
eSosopr
oposedt
oher
Li
yana:
oht
hatone,
yeswhatabouti
t?
Lwakho: Iwaswat chingitt
heotherdaywhenI
wasathome, i
nherspeechshesai dsomet hi
ng
aboutthem layi
ngt hefoundat
ionofgreat
fr
iendshi
pf orus.Abouthowt oalwaysthi
nkof
fr
iendsasf amil
y
Everyti
meoneoft heseSmi t
hkidstalkabout
thi
sauntieLwaperson,theyl
ightup.From al
l
I
'veheardshesoundslikeaphenomenal
woman, well
sheraisedmymansoshei s
defi
nit
elyamazi
ng
Li
yana:
what
'sony
ourmi
nd?
Lwakho: Iwanttomov edbackhome, nott
omy
parentshouseobv i
ouslybutbackt oPE.Wecan
getahouset herefornextyearwhileyouguy s
l
ookf orj
obs.Itsjustanidea.I
'm sort
edont he
j
obsi de
Me:
mustbeni
ce
Hegi v
esmeasi deeyeandIgivehi
m oneright
back.HisideasoundsgreatonpaperbutI'
m all
myf atherhas,i
fanyt
hingIwanttomov eback
homeandhopef ul
lyfi
ndajobther
eratherthan
tomov etoanotherprovi
nceanddependon
otherpeople.Nahbruh.
Lwakho:
sowhatdoy
ouguy
ssay
?
Li
yanaandIl
ookateachotherthenwebot h
l
ookatKwando,Icant
ell
wear eallthi
nki
ngthe
samethi
ngbutweneedabol dpersontojust
sayi
toutl
oud
Kwando: f
orgetit
.I'
m notmov ingbackhome,
youknowhowLwandi sois,
I'
dneverget
breat
hingspaceandwi t
hLoy i
soalr
eady
mov i
ngbackt her
e,itwill
be10t i
meswor se.
Youcanmi ssmewi ththi
sideacuz.Noway
Me:
Loy
iso?
Kwando:myol
derbr
other
,str
ict
estguyont
he
pl
anet.Hei
sbasi
cal
l
ySoso'sdeputy.
Lwakhoi sabi tdisappointedbuthe
under standswher eI
'm comi ngfrom.Theday
afterIf i
nishmyex ams, I
'minat axiheading
home.I '
m stil
ldreadingthef ir
stconversati
on
I'
m goi ngt ohavewi thmydadbuthonest ly
,
thereisl essthan6mont hslefti
ntheyear ,he
mustj ustl etmebe.WhenIgethome, Ifindhim
wat chingTV, Igreetthengoputmybagsi nthe
room t hengobackt othel ounge
Dad:
howwer
etheexams?
Me:
theywer
enotbad.It
hinkIdi
dwel
l
Hi
m:I'
m gladbutIwil
lseef
ormy sel
f.Sowhat
i
sthi
sthatyourmotherwastel
l
ingme?
Me:babathatwomanisn'
tmymot
her
,shei
s
j
usttr
yingtocont
rol
myl i
fe.
HesighsandI
'
mtr
yingmybestt
oav
oidey
e
cont
act
Hi
m:sowhat
'st
hisboy
'sname?
It
akeapausebef
oreanswer
ing
Me:
Limi
l
eHadebe
Him:hmmm from where?Whatdoeshedo?Do
youlov
ehim?Hebet t
ernothur
tyouAbongi
we,
IswearI'
l
lki
l
lhim wi
thmybarehands
Iwanttolaughsobadl
y ,
whichquest
ionam I
supposedtoanswerfi
rst?
Hi
m:khul
umaAbongi
we
Me:hei
sfrom PE,hei
saf
inanci
aladv
isorandI
dol
ovehim baba
[
08/
18,
15:
36]Mca:
*23*
"
Itoucht
heskywhenmykneeshi
tthegr
ound"
Dad:
yousayy
oul
ovehi
m Abongi
we?
Me:
yebobabaIdol
ovehi
m
Him: whatdoesi
tmeant ol
ovesomeone?
Becauseat21Ididn'
tknowmuchaboutlove
butthenagainIwasrai
sedatadif
fer
entt
ime
t
hany
ouwer
e
Isighed, Iknewmydadwasgoi ngtobri
ngt hi
s
upandI 'm sur esomewhereinthemidstofall
ofthis,thebi bl
ewillcomeoutandhewi l
lstar
t
preachingt ome.Iknowhemeanswel lthough,
thebiblehasbeenourhandbookf oral
lthe
ti
meswef oundour selv
esl
ostandconfused,i
n
needf orgui dance
Me:I
'
m notsayi
ngIknowal
ltheanswer
swhen
i
tcomestolov
ebaba
Him: Ididn'tsayyoudomnt anam butt he
confidencei nthewayy oubol dlysaidy oudo
l
ov ehi m makesmet hi
nky ouatl eastknow
whatl ovemeansandi fyousayy ouknowy ou
l
ov ehi m becauseofhowhemakesy oufeel
thenI'dsuggesty ougobackanddi gdeepinto
whatl oveact ual
lymeans.Lov ei sn'
tjusta
feel
ing, i
tsalsoacommi tment .Ionlywantt he
bestf oryouAbongi we,I'
ddieat housand
deathsi fIwast oknowt hatsomeboyi splayi
ng
wi
thy
ourhear
t.
That'smydadf ory ou, nott hemosteducat ed
manont heplanet ,notasai ntbutt hemost
l
ov i
ngandmostpr otect ivemanIknow.Iknow
thereisn'tamanont hispl anett hatcancl aim
helov esmemor et hanmydaddoes, thatwoul d
beal ie.Ididn'thav et heanswerhewant edr ight
nowsoIj ustsaidIst illneedt ounder stand
whatmyl ovemeansbef oreIcananswer .I
playedmusi cfrom myphonewhi l
eIprepar ed
oursupper ,myspi ri
tswer esuddenl yhighbut
mysoul washungr y,Idon' tev enr emembert he
l
astt i
meIopenedmybi bleorl etalonewentt o
church.Af t
erdinner ,Iwasheddi shest hengot
i
nbedwi thmyphoneandmybi ble.Thethi ng
aboutt hebi bl
ei sthaty oucan' tj ustthi
nky ou
willr
eadi tf r
om st artt ofinishandbeal lhol y
holyaf t
ert hat,youar eal way sdr awnt oreadi ng
aboutwhat every ouneedgui danceonatt hat
presentmomentandIwasl ost.Iwaspagi ng
thr
oughitli
kecrazy,l
ooki
ngf orsomet
hingt
hat
Idon'
tevenknowbutt hatIneededtofi
nd.
Therewasasof tknockonthedoorbeforei
t
openedslowly
Dad:
goodni
ghtAbongi
we
Me:
goodni
ghtbaba
Iwasst
il
lpagi
ngsoIdi
dn'
tl
ookup.
Him:l
olt
rygoi
ngt
ofi
rstCor
int
hianschapt
er13
ver
se4-8
Me:
why
?What
'
sint
her
e?
Him:l
olev
eryt
hingyouar
elooki
ngf
orr
ightnow.
Ihav
eworktomorrowsogoodni
ght
HeclosedmydoorasIpagedt
oCori
nthi
ans
andasIwasabouttogett
ochapt
er13,my
phoneri
ngs.Ismi
l
ewhenIseewhoitis
Me:
heyl
over
Li
:l
olI
'
mlov
ernow?Il
i
ke.Howar
eyou?
Me:
conf
usedashel
l
.Wena?
Hi
m: what
'sgotyouconf
used?I
'
m amazi
ng,
j
usthadagreatki
ckboxi
ngworkout
.
If
indchapt
er13v
erse4andst
artr
eadi
ngi
t
l
oudtoLi
Me:Lov
eispatient
,lovei
skind.I
tdoesnotenv
y,
i
tdoesnotboast,i
tisnotpr
oud.
Hi
m:oohkwhat
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:I'
mr eadingmybibl
e.DadandIwer
etal
king
aboutyouandwhenheaskedmei fIl
oveyou,I
wassoqui cktoanswer
Hi
m:andt
hat
'sabadt
hing?
Me:Idon'
tknow.ImeanIdolov
eyoubasedon
howyoumakemef eelbutheal
sosai
dlovei
sa
commitment
Hewentsil
entf
orawhil
e,Iknowhemustbe
conf
used,
ImeanI'
m confusedaswel
lri
ght
now
Hi
m:OKlet'
suset
hebi
blever
sest
haty
ouar
e
r
eadi
ngr
ightnowasacheckl
i
st
Me:
howso?
Hi
m:y
ousai
dlov
eispat
ientr
ight
?
Me:
yeah
Him:andwoul
dyousayI
'
vebeenpat
ientwi
th
you?
Ithoughtaboutt
hetimesbefor
ewest art
ed
dati
ng,howhewai t
edformet obeready,he
di
dn'tgivemeult
imatumsorpressuremet oget
i
ntoar el
ati
onshi
pwithhim,hewaited.
Me:
yes
Him:andyoudi
dn'twalkawaywheny oufound
outaboutmyangerissues,
youarebeing
pati
entandwai
ti
ngformet oworkthrough
them whi
ley
oustandbymysi de
Ismil
ed,
heismaki
ngthiseasi
ert
ounder
stand
formebyappl
yi
ngtheversest
oour
exper
iences.Ar
gwhydi
dn'
tIt
hinkoft
hat
Hi
m:whatwast
heot
herone?
Il
ookatmybi
bleagai
n
Me:
lov
eiski
nd
Hi
m:whatdoesbei
ngki
ndmeant
oyou?
Me:itmeansbei ngni
cetootherpeopl
e,not
hur
ti
ngt hem ei
theremot
ionall
yorphysi
call
y
andjustbei
ngtherefort
hem
Hi
m:OKdoy
out
hinkI
'
m ki
ndt
oyou?
Ichuckl
e,ofcour
sehei
ski
ndt
ome.Hei
s
amazing
Me:yesyouar
e.Youtreatmel i
keaqueen, you
val
uemeandy oudon'
thur tme.Iwon'tcount
t
heangerepi
sodefrom theotherday
,itslong
f
orgott
en
Hel
aughs
Hi
m:goshIl
ovey
ou.OKy
ouar
eki
ndt
omet
oo.
Youdon'tdoorsayhurt
fult
hingstomeandI
guessyouval
uemyf eel
ingsinthethi
ngsy
ou
do.Nextone
Me:
itdoesnotenv
y
Ilaughaft
erreadi
ngthat
.Whywouldy
ouenv
y
thepersonyouareinarel
ati
onshi
pwi
th?
Makesnosense
Hi
m:l
olIwonderwhyy
ouar
elaughi
ng
Me:becauset
hisoneisunnecessary
.Peopl
ein
r
elat
ionshi
pswouldn'
tenv
yeachot her
Him:you'
dbesurpr
ised.Youfi
ndinsome
rel
ati
onshipst
hewomanear nsmoremoney
thanthemanandthatwouldcreat
eenvy
betweenthem
Me:
hmmm woul
dyoubeenv
iousi
fIear
ned
mor
emoneyt
hanyou?
Hi
m:l
olt
hatwoul
dnev
erhappen
Me:
butl
et'
ssayhy
pot
het
ical
l
yspeaki
ngi
t
happened
Him:Iwouldbehappyf oryout haty
ouar
e
doi
ngwel latworkbutIdon'tcarehowmuch
moneyy oumake, t
hatbett
ernotcomebetween
mydutiesasy ourman
Irollmyey esbutdon'
tsayanythi
ngfur
thert
han
that.Iwanttobeabletopayforadateevery
nowandt hen.Ican'
tj
ustspongeoffhi
m
forever
.
Me:i
tdoesn'
tboast
.Welly
oudefinit
elyar
ethe
mosthumbleguyIknowsoreal
l
yt hi
sdoesn't
t
ouchonyou
Hi
m: l
olwe'l
lseeify
ou'
llst
il
lbesay
ingt
hat
whenIdri
vemyr edFer
rari
Me:
lol
wit
hmei
nthepassengerseatIhope
Him:hel
lno.You'
l
lbenextt
omei
nyourwhi
te
Lamborghi
ni
Weshar
eal
augh,
thi
sguywasdef
ini
tel
ymade
forme.Hej
ustget
smeandhasawayof
keepi
ngmesmili
ngatal
lti
mes
Me:
Lol
awwwubabymahn
Hi
m:y
ouknowt
his,
youar
emyqueen
Hemakeski
ssi
ngsoundsandIl
aughev
en
mor
e
Me:
iti
snotpr
oud
Hi
m: soI'
m notal
l
owedt
obepr
oudofmy
gi
rl
fr
iendngok?
Me:lolIdoubtthat'
swhatitmeans.I
tprobabl
y
meanst hati
nloveoneshouldn'
tberuledby
pr
ide.Meleuzehliseforumunt
uwakho
Him: ohbl ondemoment .I
'm aproudguy, Ihat
e
apologizingbutforyouSthandwaSam, I
becomeadi f
fer
entpersonwhenIf eel
li
ke
somet hingisthreat
eningtotearusapart.Iwil
l
apologizeandbegi fitwil
lmeanwewi llbef i
ne
attheendoft heday.Losi
ngy ouismybi ggest
f
ear
Me: well
lucki
l
yf oryouI'
m notgoi
nganywher
e.
Solet'
ssaywhenI 'm worki
ngandIdeci
deto
spoily
ouandt akeyououtonadat e,
wil
lyou
agree?
Hi
m: y
esbutI
'l
lpay
.It
akecar
eofy
ounott
he
ot
herwayar
ound
Me:
buti
sthatnothav
ingpr
ide?
Hi
m:no.I
tsbei
ngaman
Ai
Igi
veup.IknowIwon'
twi
nthi
soneso
I
tsj
ustsaf
eformet
oleti
tgo
Me: v
erse5saysItdoesnotdishonorother
s,i
t
i
snotself-
seeki
ng,i
tisnoteasil
yangered,i
t
keepsnorecordofwrongs.
Hi
m:t
hisonei
sat
oughone,
especi
all
yforme
Me:
whyi
sthat
?
Hi
m:becauseI
'
venev
erdat
ed,
nev
erhadt
o
careaboutanot
herper
sont
hati
sn'tf
amily
,it
s
alwaysbeenaboutmeandyoual
readyknow
thatI
'
m easil
yanger
ed
Me:
buty
oucar
eaboutmer
ight
?
Hi
m:mor
ethany
ouknow
Me:andyouar
ewor
kingony
ourangeri
ssues
angi
thi
?
Him:yesIam.Thisi
swhyIsai
dy ouaregood
forme,youj
ustseeall
mynegati
vesina
posi
ti
veway
Me:lolbecauseyouarechangi
ngy
our
negati
vesintoposi
ti
ves
Him:al
lbecauseofyou.I
'
m doi
ngitformysel
f
soIcanbeabet t
ermanbutit
sall
inspir
edand
moti
vatedbyyou.
Ireal
lywishwecouldhavebeenhav i
ngthi
s
conversati
oni
nperson,I
'
dbeki ssi
nghimright
nowandhe' dhav
ehisarmsar oundme
Me:Il
oveyou.Oknowf ort
hemostdiff
icul
tone.
I
tdoesnotkeeprecor
dofwr ongdoi
ngs
Him:itsnotdi
ffi
cultt
hatthi
ng.Lookatitt
his
way,ifIdosomet hi
ngwrongt oyouandI
acknowledgethatIwrongedyou,ndcel
euxolo,
si
thetheaboutitanddecidetoburyi
tthenwhy
wouldwebr i
ngi tupagai
n?
Me:whenyoudosomet
hingsi
mil
art
othat
t
hingagai
n
Him: t
henitwouldn'
tbeamistakeworth
apologi
zi
ngf or
,itwoul
dbeachoicethatImake
excusesfor.I
tsonlyamist
akethefi
rstti
me.
Me:
hmmm OKIheary
ou.Iguesssameappl
i
es
t
ome?
Hi
m:l
olewet
chi
n,wear
eint
hist
oget
her
Me:OKOKfi
ne.Ver
se6saysLovedoesnot
del
i
ghti
nev
ilbutr
ejoi
ceswi
tht
hetrut
h.
Hi
m:OKl
et'
sski
pthi
sone,
Idon'
tunder
standi
t
Me: nei
therdoI.I'l
lj
ustaskmydadaboutit
tomorroworsomet hi
ng.Let'
smoveon,
7say sI
t
alwaysprotect
s, al
waystrust
s,al
wayshopes,
alwaysperseveres.
Him:Il
i
ket
hisone.Sev
eni
smyf
avor
it
enumber
anyway
Ilaugh,Ial
readyknowwhathei
sgoingtosay
becausehet hri
veshi
msel
finpr
otect
ingmeand
takingcareofme
Hi
m:doy
out
rustme?
IpauseasIr ememberever
ythi
ngAverytol
dme
theotherdayofwhichInev
erbroughtt
o
Limil
e'sat
tenti
onmindyou
Hi
m:babe
Me:
Idot
rusty
ou
Hi
m:i
nwhi
chaspect
?
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Hi
m:doy
out
rustt
hatIwi
l
lal
way
slov
eyou?Do
y
out rustthatI
'
dnev erbr
eakyourheart
?Doyou
t
rustthatI'
dneverlayahandony ou?Doyou
t
rustinmyl oveforyouandmyloy al
tyt
owar
ds
t
hisrelati
onshi
p?
Isi
gh,heisget
tingdeepandser
iousnow.
Jokesareover
Me: It
rustyoubaby.Inever
yaspect
.I'
l
lal
ways
bel
ieveyou, onl
yyouwill
knowthatyouar
ely
ing
butI'
dnev erdoubty
ou
Helet
'soutasigh,Iguesshewashol
dinghi
s
br
eathanti
cipat
ingmyr esponse
Him: Itr
ustyoutoo.Idon'
ttr
usty
ourexthough
butItrustyou.I
'
dnev ergi
veuponus,I'
m
preparedtogotowarj ustt
omakeyouhappy
andtomakeourr el
ati
onshi
pwork.I
'
llal
ways
havehopei nusforaslongasmyheartbeats
foryouandy oursforme
Il
augh,
blushandsmi
l
eal
latonce
Me:
lol
thi
sconv
ersat
ioni
sst
art
ingt
osound
l
i
keweddi
ngv
owsy
az
Hechuckl
es
Hi
m: l
oldon'
tsayt
hatbecausey
our
efusedt
o
marr
yme
Me:haibobaby
,itwaswaytoosoon.Ihadt
o
pr
otectmyheartkancane
Hi m:OKpoi nttaken.NowIgett oprotectand
takecar eofyou, j
ustdon'tt
rytoli
mitme.I '
m
goingt oloveyouhar d,spoi
lyourott
enand
treatyoulikeaqueen.I '
m goingtowor shi
pyour
body ,gi
vey outhataftersexgloweverysingl
e
day .Juststi
ckwi t
hme
Goshthi
sguybaf
ethu,Ican'
tri
ghtnow.Therei
s
awayaguyspeakswhenhei ssmoothtalki
ng
youandthent
her
eisawayhesoundswhenhe
speaksf
rom t
heheart
Me:y
hobutbabyy
ougoingt
ogetmeal
l
emot
ional
nowandgetmypi
ll
owwet
Hi
m: l
olandyouonl
yli
keget
ti
ngy
ourpant
ies
wetwenababe
Ibur
sti
ntol
aught
er,
hei
ssuchani
diotl
ona
Me: l
olyouaresost upidyaz.OKlastone,v
erse
8Lov eneverfai
ls.Butwherethereare
propheci
es,theywillcease;wher
ethereare
tongues,t
heywi l
lbest i
ll
ed;wher
ethereis
knowledge,i
twillpassaway .
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*24*
"Forever
yendi
ngt
her
eisal
way
sanew
beginni
ng"
Li:
Ican'
tbel
ieveyourdadreal
l
ylety
oucomeal
l
thewayherethesehol
iday
s
Me:wellIdi
dpassmydegr eewi
thadisti
ncti
on
andI'
vesecuredj
obswithtwocompanies.Heis
waytooproudofmerightnowtosaynot o
anyt
hingIwant
Hehadj
ustpi
ckedmeupf
rom t
heai
rpor
tinPE,
Iwasgoingt omeethiswholefami l
yandspend
ti
mewi t
ht hem f
oraweek.Ner vousdoesn't
evenbegintodescri
behowIf eelri
ghtnow.He
i
sf r
om ahugef ami
lyandformei tsalways
beenmydadandIsoI '
m notusedt obeing
aroundalotofpeoplebutl
uckil
yI '
veal
ready
metShaunandKwandi l
e
Hi
m: r
elax,
theywil
ll
oveyou.Mamaalr
eady
l
ovesyoueventhoughshehasn'
tmetyou
Me:I
'm sur
eshewon'tl
ovemeaf
tershef
inds
outt
hatIdatedy
ourcousi
n
Hi
m:hei
sn'
tmycousi
nandi
tdoesn'
tmat
ter
whoy
oudat
edbefor
eme
Hedri
vesint
othi
shugemansion,I'
m sur
eyou
canfi
t5housesthesizeofmydad'
shousein
thi
sonehouse.I
tsthatbi
g
Hi
m:y
our
eady
?
Inodandfakeasmil
e,I
'
m defi
nit
elynotr
eady.
Meeti
ngfamil
iesi
sabigdeal
,Ij
usthopethey
l
ikeme.Heget souttocomeopenmydoor
thentakesmyhandaswewal ktowardst he
door.Heopensi tandIswearitsasifthereisa
part
ybei nghost ed,t
herearekidsrunni
ngi nand
outthehouse, adul
tsinthekit
chenandt he
l
ounge.Somanypeopl e,I'
m al
readyfeeli
ng
overwhelmed.Agor geouswomancomes
towards,shedoesn' tevenhavemakeupon,
sheisinj eansandaT- shir
twithsli
ppersonbut
fuckitshel ooksmor egorgeousthanmostof
usonourgoodday s.Shesmi l
eswar mlyatus
?
?:ohwowl
ookwhoi
sher
e.Heybaby
Shegi
vesLi
mil
eahugandhej
ustsmil
es
warml
y.Hel
ookssocut
ewhenheisbabi
ed
Li
:mamat hi
sisher
.Abongiwemeetmyaunt
butshei
smor eofamothertome
Ismil
eashisauntopensherar
msf ormeand
pul
lsmeinforahug,sheevensmellsgoodai
ngekeguy
s.Thiswomanisperfect
ion
Lwa:i
tsni
cet
ofi
nall
ymeety
ouAbongi
we.I
'
ve
hear
dsomuchaboutyou
Me:
goodt
hingsonl
yIhope
Sheissti
l
lsmili
ng,shehassuchawar
m and
bl
issf
ulauraabouther
Her:
onl
ygoodthi
ngs.Comel
etmeshowy
ou
wheret
oset
tl
ein
Me:
ohmybagsar
est
il
li
nthecar
Her
:Sbani
!Jaden!
Twoboysr
uni
ntot
hel
ounge,
acol
oredboyand
abl
ackboy
Them:
aunt
ie
Lwa:takethekeysf
rom Liandgett
hebags
from t
hecarthenbr
ingt
hem t ot
hetopf
loor
,
thefi
rstguestr
oom.Tel
l Langat
ohelpy
ou
Them:
OK
If
oll
owLwat
otheel
evat
or,
shepushest
he
but
tonandwegeti n.Yepthi
shousehasan
el
evat
or,honest
lyIwanttoli
veher
e.I
ts
gor
geous
Lwa:Ihadtogett
hisel
evat
orinst
all
ed,
I'
m not
asyoungasIusedtobeandthosestai
rsar
e
exhaust
ing
Me:
lol
buty
oudon'
tl
ookadayov
ert
hir
ty
Her
:lol
I'
m act
ual
l
y49hey
Wowsomepeopl ejustagegraceful
l
y.Whenwe
gettotheguestbedroom I
'm amazed,it
sso
spaci
ous,therei
sacouchandt heensuite
bathr
oom isthesizeofmybedr oom athome.
I'
mt r
yingmybestnott ogocrazyatallt
his
Lwa:y
oucanf reshenupi
nt her
e,theboy
swi
l
l
br
ingyourbags.Areyouhungry?
Me:
justabi
t
Her:
we'veal
readyhadl
unchbutI'
l
laskSinoto
pr
eparesomethingf
ory
ou.WellAbongi
wef eel
athome,wemi
ghtgetov
erwhel
mingbecause
wearesuchal
argef
amil
ybutweareharmless
andlov
ing
Ismil
easshewal ksoutleavingmet oadmi r
e
thegorgeousroom I'
l
lbesleepinginforthe
nextcoupleofdays.Afewmi nuteslatert
here
i
saknockatt hedoorandJadenwal ksinwith
Sbaniandsomeot herkid
Me:
heyguy
s
Jay
:heyaunt
iesai
dweshoul
dbr
ingy
ourbags
Me:
oht
hanky
ou
?
?:I
'm Langa,
Iknowy
ouf
rom mysi
ster
's
l
apt
op
Me:
Liy
ana?
Henodst hentheyleaveafewmi nut
eslat
er.
Aftert
akingabathIchill
intheroom wi
thmy
earphonespluggedin,
I'
m notti
redpersebut
I'
m sti
llabi
tshyaroundt hi
sfamil
y.Baewalks
i
nwithatr
ay,pl
acesitont
hepedest
alt
hen
cl
imbsonthebed,ki
ssesmyfor
eheadcausi
ng
metosmil
e
Li
:kut
heni
uzi
val
elenj
e
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
thi
sbedi
stoocomf
ort
abl
efor
metol
eavei
t
Helaughs.Isitup,
pausethesongthatwas
pl
ayingbeforetaki
ngtheear
phonesout
Hi
m:Ibr
oughty
ouf
ood
Me:
youar
egoi
ngt
oeatwi
thmer
ight
?
Itwasgoingtobeatdi
nnerthatI'
ll
getfor
mally
meeteveryone,
wewereallseatedatthetabl
e
andmyey escount
ed11peopl e,mysel
f
i
ncluded
Lwa:OKguysbef
orewest
arteat
ingIwantt
o
i
ntr
oducesomeone
Soso:orLi
mil
ecoul
dint
roducehersi
ncei
tshi
s
guest
Lwagi veshi
m anunimpressedl
ookandIwant
tolaugh,Sosoissoplay
fulbutt
hegr
eyhairon
hisheadsay sheisgr
ownbuthealsolooksi
n
his30s
Lwa:hi
sguesti
nwhosehouse?Smi
thdon'
t
st
artwi
thme
Soso:
lol
OKI
'
m qui
et
Lwa:thanky ou.AsIwassay i
ng,guy
st hi
sis
Abongiwe,Limile'sgir
lfr
iend.Abongi
wet hi
sis
ourfamil
y,thisismyhusbandLwandi so,
you'
ve
al
readymethi st alkat
iveass
Weal
ll
augh,
Ilov
ethi
swomant
hough.
Lwa:thoset
wooverther
earemyoldestsons,
Loyi
soandQhawe,nexttot
hem i
sKwandoand
Kwandile
Ismil
eatKwandi
l
eandhesmilesback,I
'
m not
evengoi
ngtol
ookinKwando'
sdir
ecti
on
Lwa:
that
'sMi
hle,
hei
svi
sit
ingusf
ort
he
hol
iday
sandthat'
sLanga,Sbani
,Li
saand
Jadenourni
eceandnephews
Afterthei
ntroswehadt hedinneroversmall
talk,
lucki
l
ytheydi dn'
taskmeal otofquesti
ons
becauseI'm quit
eshyar oundstrangers.Af
ter
dinnerLwaandSosowentupt ot hei
rroom
l
eav i
ngusst i
llchi
lli
nginthediningarea
Loy:
soAbongiwewhereareyoufr
om andhow
di
dy oumeett
hisi
diotcousi
nofours
Il
aughandLi
mil
eshowshi
mthemi
ddl
efi
nger
Q:
bruhy
ouknowwet
houghty
ouwer
egayr
ight
?
Li
:dawgevery
onethoughty
ouweregayaswell
atsomepoint
.Atl
eastIwasget
ti
nglai
d.Wena?
NowitwasQhawet hatgaveLithemiddl
e
f
ingerandIwasjustwatchi
ngthem l
aughi
ngt
o
myself
.Guyswil
lalwaysbeidi
ots
Kwandi
:sohowdidy
ouguysmeetbecausel
ast
ti
meIcheckedy
ouwerei
ntoAv
ery
Loy
:woawwhat
?Youdat
edAv
ery
?
Li
:doesn'
tmatt
erwhoshedat
ed.Sheiswit
h
menow, shel
ovesmeandherexesdon'
t
matt
er
Iwasal
readywishi
ngt
hegr
oundcoul
dopenup
andj
ustswall
owmebutLicametomyrescue
Loy
:OKf
inepoi
ntt
akensoAbongi
we?
Me:I
'
mfrom Esi
khawi
nibutImethi
minDur
ban
andi
nEmpangeni
Q:
andy
oul
ovet
hisi
diot
?
Ichuckl
ed.Heismyi
diotandt
heymustl
eav
e
him al
onenow
Li
:yesshel
ovesmehaw
Kwandi
:l
oldawgweaskedhernoty
ou.Rel
ax
Me:
lol
Idol
ovehi
m.Al
otact
ual
l
y
Helookedatmewithasmil
eonhisface.Hei
s
suchperf
ecti
onatt
imes.Wheni
tgotlate,
he
askedmet ospendabitoft
imewit
hhi
minhis
room bef
oreIgoofftobedandwhowasIt
o
refuseachancetocuddl
ewit
hmybae
Li
:I
'v
ebeent
hinki
ng
Me:
ohno
Hi
m: l
olwoul
dy ourel
ax?Idon'
twantt
hewhol
e
l
ongdist
ancethingany
more.Il
oveyouandI
wantt
owakeupnextt oyouevery
day
Me:Iwantthataswel
lbabybuti
sitev
en
possi
bler
ightnow?
Him:onlyify
oumovetoJo'
burg.IknowI'm
aski
ngf oral
otfr
om y
ouespecial
lywit
hy our
dadbeingonhisownandst
uffbutIreall
ywant
ustowor k
Me:
andwhataboutmyj
obLi
mil
e?
Him:wewil
lfi
gurei
tout.Iwantt
omarryy
ou
butIal
soknowthatyouarenotr
eadyf
oranyof
that
Isi
ghedandhehel
dmet
ight
er
Him:I'
m notsayi
ngit'
sabadthi
ng.Iunderst
and
whereyourconcernsarecomi
ngfrom butcan
youatleastt
hinkaboutthemovi
ngpart
Me:
OKI
'
llt
hinkabouti
t
Hi
m:t
hat
'sal
lIwantnanazi
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.Letmegosl
eep
Him:sl
eepher
ewithme,you'
l
lsneakbacki
nto
yourr
oom i
ntheearl
yhour
s
Igavehimt hat"hell
no"lookandhel aughed.
Imaginenjefirstni
ghtvi
siti
ngandI '
m al
ready
havi
ngsexi nt hehouse.Hellno.Heletmego.
ThenextdayIwaswokenupbyaknockont he
door,Iwenttoopenandt her
est oodLi
saanda
chi
ld.Averycut edarkbabywi t
hahugeaf ro.
Shewasador able
Me:
heyLi
sa
Li
sa:
mor
ningsi
sAbongi
we.Aunt
ieLwasai
dI
shoul
dcomechecki
fyouar
eup
Me:wel
lI'
m upnowbutI
'
m goi
ngt
obat
hbef
ore
comi
ngdown
Her
:canwecomei
n?
Imovedoutt
hewayandl
ett
hem wal
kin,
they
satont
hecouchwhi
l
eImadethebed
Me:
whoi
sthat
?
Li
sa:Lwandl
e.Hermom j
ustdr
oppedherand
Luvooff
Me:
alr
ight
Li
sa:
Ihopeyouar
eni
cel
i
kesi
sLi
yanaandnot
meanli
keKwando
Il
augh,
guessKwandoi
snotl
i
kedbyev
enher
ownfamil
y
Me:
I'
m def
ini
tel
yni
cel
i
keLi
yana.Ipr
omi
sey
ou
Ibat
hed,
wor eboyf
ri
endj
eans,
alooset
opand
ti
edmytwistint
oabun.Whenwegot
downst
air
s,Lwawasi
nthel
oungewi
thKwando
andLi
yana
Liy
ana:
mnganiIcan'
tbel
i
evey
oudi
dn'
ttel
lme
youwerecomi
nghere
Lwa:that
'sbecauseshewasn'
tvi
sit
ingy
oubut
vi
sit
ingme.Mor ni
ngAbongi
we
Ismi
l
ed
Me:
mor
ningma.Heymngani
.HeyKwando
Kwando:I
'
m goi
ngt
ocheckonsomet
hing
somewhere
Shegotupl
eav
ingusandhonest
lynobody
car
ed
Lwa:
sohowwasy
ourf
ir
stni
ght
?
Me:
amazi
ng.Isl
eptl
i
keababy
Lwa:soyouandLimi
ledidn'
tsneakar
oundi
n
themiddl
eoftheni
ght?
Me:
chabowedi
dn'
t
Li
yana:
yhoaunt
ieLwa
Lwa: what?SosoandIsneakaroundi
nour
parentshousesal
ltheti
me.It
ssexyand
excit
ingandIknowy ouandShaundoitaswel
l
sodon'taunti
eLwame
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*25*
"Ohanameansfami
ly.Famil
ymeansnobody
getslef
tbehi
ndorf
orgott
en"
HaveIment i
onedhowmuchIl oveLi
mile'
saunt?
Yhoi fIcoul
dmoul dandsculpturemymot her,
I'
djustmakeherexact lyl
ikethi
swoman.Shei s
sowar m andf uzzy
,lov
ing,f
unnyandjustthe
coolest.Herandherhusbandar erel
ati
onship
goalsItelly
ou
Lwa:sowhat'
sthedeal
wit
hyouandKwando?I
sensedavi
be
Wear enowint
hekit
chen,
Liyana,
LisaandIar
e
hel
pinghermakel
unchandtheconversat
ioni
s
j
ustflowi
ng
Me:wel
lshehasnev
erl
i
kedme,
from dayone
act
ual
ly
Lwa:
sheprobabl
yfel
tthr
eat
ened,
mydaught
er
i
sveryt
err
it
ori
al
Li
yana:shemustlearntosharet
houghaunt
ie
Lwa,sheneverwantedresandmyparentswere
notgoi
ngtoletmest ayanywher
eelse
Lwa:Iknowbaby .Kwandoisj
ust
misunder
stood.Idon'
tgethowwejustgoti
tso
wrongwithourdaughter
s
Me:Iguessso.I
'
llt
ryt
alki
ngt
oher
,getacl
ean
sl
ate
Lwawr appedanar m aroundmyshoulderand
pull
edmecl oserforasnuggle.Thi
swoman
though,wenzaone.Bef oreweweredonewi t
h
prepari
nglunch,t
heboy scamedownandi t
wasl i
ketheywereinsy ncbecauseuncleSoso
wenttoauntieLwa, ShaunwenttoLiyanaand
Limil
ecamet ome.Ourcheekswer ekissedand
wej
ustgi
ggl
ed
Soso:
theboy
sandIar
egoi
ngout
Lwa:
outwher
eandwhy
?
Loy:
yhoMrsSmit
hcan'
tmenjustgooutnj
e
andhav
efunwit
houty
our101quest
ions
Lwat hr
ewat omatoathim andhej
ustl
aughed,
Loyisoissoplay
ful,
you'
dswearheisa
teenagerorsomethi
ng
Lwa:I'
l
lendy
ourl
i
fewenaLoy
iso.I
'
m noty
our
fr
iend
Loy
:lol
Ist
il
ll
ovey
oumommy
Hewentt owraphisarm ar
oundhert
henki
ssed
hercheek,Lwacouldn'
thel
pbutsmil
e
Soso:any
waybabywearegoi
ngtot
her
ugby
cl
ubthenJasonandAphi
we'
shouse
Lwa:OKyoucanonl
yleaveaft
erl
unch,
weare
notsl
avi
ngawayher
ejustfort
hefunofit
Q:wear
eleav
ingt
heki
dst
hough.OSbani
and
t
hem
Lwa: f
ineEnzoisfetchi
ngt hem andt
aki
ng
them tothebeachany way.Youshouldf
etch
thetri
os,Lwandle,
Luv oandOy aneedsomeone
toplaywith
Q:
OKI
'
llcal
lSi
hleandt
ell
her
Whenwewer edonewithlunch,
weservedthe
guysthenLi
yanaandIdecidedtoeati
nthe
ki
tchenbythehi
ghchair
s,thedinni
ngareawas
j
usttooloud
Liy
ana:
sohowareyoufi
ndingy
ouri
nlaws?Or
rat
heri
sshoul
dsayouri
nlaws
Me:l
olt
heyar
eOK.Il
oveaunt
ieLwa.Shei
sso
cool
Li
yana:yeahshei
spr et
tyamazing.ImeanI
wouldn'
thavesur
viv
edt hescandalyam
noShaunifi
twasn'
tforher.AndyouandLi?
NiRi
ght?
Ismiledtomy selfandthethoughtofthatsexy
manofmi ne.Idon'tr
emembert helastti
meI
wast hi
shappybecauseofsomeoneel se.I
ts
suchanamazi ngfeel
ing,somethi
ngInev erf
elt
i
nmyf i
rstrel
ationshi
p.Ithoughtt
hatwasl ove
butthewayLi mi l
elovesmeshowst hatwhat
I'
vehadbef orewasn'tlov
e
Me:
wear
egr
eat
,I'
m sohappymngani
Shesmi
l
es
Her:I'm happyfory ouguys.Youbothdeser vei
t
somuchi tscrazy.Any wayIknowmymom i s
comi ngherelaterwhi chmeansauntieLolz,
auntiePaliandAunt i
eAphiwearealsocomi ng.
Weneedt omakesur ewear enotherewhenal l
ofthathappens.Thosewomenwi l
lasky oua
mil
lioninappropriatequesti
onsandwi l
ltotal
ly
embar rassyou.Tr ustmeIknow
Me:
lol
theycan'
tbet
hatbad
Her
:mngani
trustmeont
hisone
Wef i
nishourlunchj
ustast
heboysaregett
ing
readytoleav
e, Li
comestome,chasesLi
yana
awaythensitswhereshewasseated
Li
:ar
eyouOKmyangel
?
Inodwi t
hasmi l
eonmyf ace,
Iwishwewer e
al
onesoIcoul dj
ustkisst
heli
vingdayli
ghts
outofhim.Hisli
psalwaysl
ooksot empti
ngand
becauseheisbuff,
hishugsal
way sdothe
damnt hi
ng.
Hi
m:ar
eyougoi
ngt
obeOKorshoul
dIdi
tch
t
heguy
s?
Me:
nogowithyourguy
s.Li
yanaandIar
egoi
ng
t
ogoshoppi
nganywaysoI'
l
lbeOK
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?OKt
hat
'scool
then
Her eachedforhiswal
l
et,t
ookouthisbank
cardandgav eittome,Il
ookedathi
m all
confused.Usuall
yIgoshoppingwi
thhim and
hepay sforevery
thi
ngsothisisaf
ir
st
Me:
arey
ousur
e?
Hi
m:y
esI
'
m sur
e.Yourmi
nimum i
sR5000
Me:
what
?Li
mil
eno
Hi
m: Limi
leyes.Ther ei
snol i
mit.WellIdon'
t
t
hinkther
eisal i
mi tonthatcardbutshouldyou
r
unintoanytrouble,cal
lmeandI 'l
lsor
titout
Hewasnowget t
ingupbecauseLoyisowason
hiscase,Iont
heot herhandwassti
l
l st
ickon
themi ni
mum bei
ngR5000whatl i
feisthis.He
kissedmycheekt henpeckedmyli
ps
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumyangel
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hi
m:hav
efun
Me:
yout
ool
ove
Theylef
tandImustadmi tthehousewasal ot
quiet
erwithoutthem,f
or6guystheyreal
ly
makeal otofnoise.Wecl
eanedupint he
ki
tchenanddi ni
ngareawi
ththehelpofaunti
e
Sno.Appar
entl
ysheisyoungert
hanaunt
ieLwa
butshedef
ini
tel
ylooksol
derbutshei
salso
chi
ll
edandlai
dback
Li
sa:
arey
ouguy
sgoi
ngt
oleav
e?
Li
yana:
yesbaby
.Why
?
Li
sa:
Ili
kechi
l
li
ngwi
thsi
sAbongi
we
Aaahmanbutt hisgi
rli
stheonethoughandI
thi
nkherandIvibesowellbecausej
ustli
keme,
sheistheonl
ychildandshestayswit
hherdad
i
nCapeTownbuthermom di dn'
tabandonher
l
ikeminedid,
herparentsbrokeupnj
e
Me:wewil
lchi
l
ltogetherwhenwegetback.We
wi
ll
watchanymov i
ey ouwant
Li
sa:
andIcansl
eepi
nyourbed?
Herfaceli
tupli
keaChr ist
mast reewhenI
nodded.Aft
erwegotr eady,Liy
anaandImade
ourwaydownstairstofi
ndaunt ieLwawit
hher
fr
iends,
samefriendswewer etryi
ngt
oescape
?
?:hol
dont
her
e,comeher
ethebot
hofy
ou
Li
yana:
that
'smymom
Shewhisper
edinmyearandIi
mmedi
atel
ysaw
ther
esemblance
Lwa:
wher
ear
eyouguy
sof
fto?
Li
yana:
themal
l
.Ineedaf
ewt
hingsf
orMangi
?
?:y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul
Anotherl
adywastalki
ngtome,Idon'
tknow
thesepeopl
e,Ij
ustknowLwaandLiyana'
s
mom soi magi
nemyanxietyatt
hismoment
Me:
thanky
ou
Lwa:
thi
sisAbongi
we.Li
mil
e'
sgi
rl
fr
iend
?
?:Li
hasagi
rl
fr
iend
?
?:agor
geousgi
rl
fr
iendatt
hat
.
Lwa:youbi
tcheshav
enofi
lterandnomanner
s,
Abongiwet
hisisNoma,
Liy
ana'smom.That'
s
Lol
o
Lol
o:shei
snoone'
smom t
hankf
ull
y
Li
yanaandIlaughed,
aunt
ieLwahassome
i
nsanel
ycrazyfri
ends
Lwa:
lol
shej
ustdr
inksandf
ucksar
ound
Lolo:
ther
ear
ewayt oomanydi
cksi
nthewor
ld
formetoset
tl
eforone
Noma:
lol
whatt
hehel
lar
eyout
eachi
ngt
hese
gi
rl
s
Lol
o:cal
m downsul
kySuzi
e.I
'
mjustj
oki
ng
Lwa: any
waythat
'sAphi
we,Jayden'
smom and
that
'sPali
,Av
eryandLwakho'
smom
Ithi
nkmyheartst
oppedther
eforasecond,
suddenl
yIwasfeel
ingv
eryuncomfor
tabl
e
Me:
nicet
omeety
oual
l
Pal
i:
hmmm wel ll
et'
shopeyoudon'
tbr
eak
Li
mil
e'shear
tli
keyoubrokemyson'
shear
t
Saywhatnow?Hai
bowhendi
dIbr
eakAv
ery
's
hear
twhenhei
stheonet
hatt
reat
edmel
i
ke
tr
ash?
Li
yana:
OKt
hat
'sourcuet
oleav
e.By
e
Aphi
we:
wai
thol
donj
ustami
nut
e
Lwa:
hay
iAPl
eav
ethegi
rl
sal
one.Theyhav
eto
go
Lol
o:butl
i
kewewantt
oknow
Lwa:
wel
lyouwon'
tknow.Leti
tgo
Theyar edri
nkingwi neandhav ingchicken
wings,Iwantt hi
slifeguys,wher eyoujustmeet
upasr ichwivesandj ustdrinkinthemi ddl
eof
theday .ThewayLwaj ustdefendedmemade
mej ustlovehersomuchmor e.Whenwegott o
themal l,
Iwasn'tinthemoodf orany t
hing
anymor e,Ij
ustwant edtogohome.Ihat ed
Avery,howcoul dhej ustspinthisaroundonme
l
ikethis?AsifI '
mt heonet hatwasi nthewr ong.
Icli
ckedmyt onguei nf r
ustrat
ion
Li
yana:
andnow?
Me:
argnot
hingmngani
Her
:I'
m goi
ngt
ocal
lLi
then
Me:Lolyouar
eashi
ttyfr
iendy
az.Goshwhy
am Iev
enfri
endswi
thyou
Her
:becausey
oul
oveme
That
'snol
ie,
Iloveherl
i
kemysi st
er,
shei
s
basi
cal
lyt
hesist
erIneverhad.
Me:
itst
hist
hingkaAv
eryandhi
smom mngani
Her:mxm don'
tleti
tgettoy ou.Av er
yisadi ck,
alwayshasbeen,al
wayswi llbe.Don'ttakehim
orhismom toheart
.AuntiePal ithi
nksAv eryi
s
theperf
ectsonandhepr etendst obejustthat
asawayt oseekherapprov al.Theyli
et oeach
othersomuchthattheystartbelievi
ngt hei
rli
es.
Isi
ghedaswewalkedintotr
uwort
hs,wewere
nowshoppingf
orMangisinceIdi
dn'
twantt
o
doanyt
hingwit
hthecardIwasgiven
Li
yana:
let
'sgogetournai
l
sdone
Me:
I'
venev
erhadf
akenai
l
s
Her:wel
lcomeandthenwecangety ouanice
weave,maybesomeli
nger
ieyouknow.PhelaLi
i
sflamesandyouhavetokeepyoursocks
pul
ledup
Me:
argwhat
ever
.Mymanl
ovesme
Her:ofcoursehedoesbutdoesn'
tmeany ou
havetor el
ax.Howdoyouthi
nkI'v
ekeptShaun
forthepast3year
s?Iknowhowt obounceon
thatdickgir
l
LmaogoshLi yanat hough,yhothisgir
lwi
llhave
youlaughi
nglikear at
chedbit
chi namallf
ullof
whit
epeopleIt ellyou.Wedidev ery
thi
ngshe
hadment i
oned, Igota20"Peruvianweave,it
feel
ssowei r
donmyhead
Liyana:
y ourfi
rstweaveandit
saPeruvi
an,
heeehy ou'v
emadei tgir
l.Doyouwantl
ashes
too?
Me:
hel
lno.I
'
m dr
awi
ngt
hel
i
net
her
e
Icanjustimaginemy sel
fbli
nki
ngendlessly ,
the
thoughtistr
aumat icnjeonitsown.Ialsogot
mat t
elavendercoffinnail
s.Imadesuret hey
werenott oolong,can'tgobigonyourf i
rsttime
andbeforeweev enwentshoppingforclot hes,
I
wasal r
eadyfeeli
ngbadf orgoi
ngcrazywi thLi'
s
money
Li
yana:
butbabey
ouneedanout
fi
t
Me:
forwhat
?Ihav
eenoughcl
othes
Her:I
'm gi
vi
ngyouamakeov erhere,
new
cl
othesareamust,orshoul
dIcall
Liandtel
l
hi
my oudon'twantt
ospendhismoney ?
Me:lolyouareani
diot
.Ij
ustdon'
twanthi
m
t
hinkingI'
m wit
hhi
mf ort
hemoney.
Her:
theguyknowsyoul
ovehi
m sorel
ax.They
l
ikei
twhenwespendthei
rmoney,
askauntie
Lwa,shewi
llt
ell
you
Weshoppedandboydidweshop,Liyanawent
wil
dwit
hbae'scar
d,honestl
yIt
houghthewas
goi
ngtocal
landcomplain
Me:
Ishoul
datl
eastgethi
m somet
hing
Her:
lolyouaretr
yingtoeaseyourguil
t.Gethi
m
col
ogne.Itwi
llj
ustsayyouacknowledgehow
ni
ceheal way
ssmel l
s
Whenwegotbackt otheSmi t
hhouseIwas
exhausted,i
twasjustafter6andt heguy s
weren'
tbacky et
.Iwasmi ssi
ngmymanmanj e
haw,they'v
ebeengonet hewhol eday .Aunti
e
Lwawasst i
ll
wit
hherf r
iendssowej ustgreet
ed
andwentupst ai
rs,
Lisacamer unni
ngt ome
Me:
howwast
hebeach?
Li
sa:somuchfun.Aunt
ieSinoandaunti
e
Nokwewerewit
hust owatchthetr
iosand
Lwandl
e,Luv
oandOy a
Me:I'
m gl
ady
ouhadf
unbaby
.LookwhatIgot
you
Ipul
ledoutaj
acketf
rom oneoft
heshoppi
ng
bagsandshewentcrazy
Li
sa:t
hanky out
hanky
ousi
sAbongi
we.I
ts
beaut
if
ul.Il
ovei
t
Shehuggedme, Iwashappythatshewas
happy.Shehangsaroundboysthewhol
eday
becausesheistheonlygi
rli
nherAgegroupi
n
thehouse.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*26*
"
Don'tbesor
ry.It
rust
edy
ou,
myf
aul
tnot
y
ours."
I
twasact uallyt
woday sbeforeIlef
tPEthatI
f
eltt
hepr esenceofthewhol eSmi t
hfamil
y,I
'
m
t
alki
ngaunt s,uncl
es,cousi
ns,thewholel
ot.
Wowt heyar eahugef amil
y
Li:
wecanal
waysjustsneakawayifi
tal
lget
s
toomuchf
oryou,
theywon'tevennot
ice
Hehadhi
sar
m snakedar
oundmywai
staswe
stoodinthey ar
dwat chingtheki dspl
ayinthe
pool.Despitehowov erwhelmingi tal
lwas,
I
wasact uall
yenjoyi
ngit.I'
venev erbeen
surroundedbyaf amilyenvir
onmentsoIwas
goingtoridethismomentoutf oraslongasI
can
Me:
I'
m OKbabe.I
'
m act
ual
l
yenj
oyi
ngi
t
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Inodt henheplacesasof tpeckonmyneck.I s
i
tsuchabadt hi
ngt hatI
'm suddenlycrav
inghi
s
touchallovermybody ?Wehav en'
tdonethe
nastysinceIarr
ivedhere,I'
m sti
llt
ryi
ngto
respecthisauntshouse,Ican'tbethatgi
rl
shame.Noway s
Me:
I'
m sur
emyl ov
e.Ithi
nkI
'
m act
ual
l
ygoi
ng
t
omissthi
schaosyaki
ni
Hepull
edmetofacehi
m, peckedmylipst
hen
smi
ledtohi
mself
.Heissuchabeautif
ulperson,
i
nsi
deandout,
hehassomanyl ay
ersbut
slowlyI'
m peali
ngt hem awayandhel etsme.
Justtheotherdaywewer ehavingalatelunch
beforewatchingamov iewhenheopenedup
abouttheaffectlosinghisdadhadonhi m, t
o
growupl ookinglikesomeone, toberemi nded
thateveryacti
ont hatyoudo, yourpersonali
ty
andbasicall
yev erythi
ngabouty ouisexactly
l
ikethatofamant hatl
eftyouwheny ouwer ea
chil
dwasj ustal ottotakeinforhim because
akamazi ubabwakhe.
Hi
m: I
'm goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ousomuchwheny
ou
gobackhome
Me:
real
l
y?
Hesmi
l
ed
Hi
m: yes.Ial
readymi sssleepi
ngnexttoyou,
st
eali
ngglancesoft hissexybodyofyour
s
whil
eyouar easleep
Nowi
twasIt
hatsmil
ed,
probabl
ybecauseof
t
hewayhewasl
icki
nghi
sli
psandcheckingme
out
Me:
Imisswaki
ngupwi
thy
ourheadbet
ween
myl
egs
Hepul l
edmecloserandIfel
thishardon
againstmeandIbursti
ntolaught
er.Ait
hisone
though
Him:youaredef
ini
tel
ysleepi
ngwi t
hmet oni
ght
.
Idon'
tcar
ewhatany onesays,Iwantt
osleep
withmydickbur
iedinthatwetti
ghtpussyof
yours
Ifel
tmysel
fti
ngl
eatthewayhesai
dthat
.I
thi
nkevenI'
mtur
ningint
oasexfr
eakmanjeal
l
becauseofhi
m
Av
ery
:thi
slookscosy
Mymoodchangedi nasecond.Ev
ersincethat
encount
erwithhi
smom, heisatt
hetopofmy
l
eastfavor
it
epeoplei
ntheworldr
ightnow
Li
:what
'
syourpoi
nt?
Aver
y:rel
axcuz
,Iwasj
ustobser
vinghaw.No
needtobehost
il
e
Li
:Av
erybr
uhuf
unant
on?
Avery
:nothi
ng.Iwasjustpassi
ngby ,t
houghtI
shoul
dgreetandthat
'swhatI'm doi
ng.Molo
Abongiwe
Iroll
edmyeyesandi thel
pedthatIspott
ed
Lwakhof r
om adist
ancestandingwithHail
ey,
LiyanaandKwandosoIex cusedmy sel
ffrom
whatIknowwi l
lendbadlyandapproached
them
Li
yana:
andt
hen?I
sAv
erycr
azy
?
Lwakho: heisanidi
otthat
'sgoingt
oget
hi
msel fbeatenup,y
ouwi l
lsee.Hehasbeen
pl
anningt hi
sfordaysnow
If
rownedi
nconf
usi
on
Me:
planni
ngwhat
?
Lwakho:
hewant
stopr
ovet
oyout
hatLi
is
v
iol
entsohecanwi
nyouback
Kwando:
argmant
hat
'ssochi
l
dish
Me:
foronceIagr
eewi
thy
ou
Thef amilybraaiwasreallygoi ngwell
,youcould
feelthel
ov eandwar mthi ntheai randeveryone
washav ingagoodt i
me, evenKwandoandI
werehav ingadecentconv ersati
onwithouther
stormingof formewant ingt oshov emyf oot
downhert hroat
.Wheni tstartedgetti
ngdar k,
thekidswenti ntothehouseandwej oi
nedt he
parentsclosertothepool ,Icouldn'
tspotLi
anywhereandIwasal readymi ssi
nghim
Lwa:youaregoi
ngt
obr
eaky
ourneck
Abongiwe
Ever
yonelaugh,
my sel
fincl
uded.Iwasprobabl
y
l
ookingl
ikeafool,
busylooki
ngar ound
ever
ywherebutIwantuBaewam
AP:y
ouknowAbongi
weandLi
mil
eremi
ndme
ofMikeandPal
i
Mi
ke:
us?Why
?
Pal
i
:suchi
nsul
tsbet
tercomewi
thgoodr
eason
Ouch!OKmamaAv
ery
.
AP: Idon'
tknowhowt oexpl
aini
tbutt
heyhav
e
thatdarkandmyster
iouslov
econnect
ion
Lwa:
ohIseeitnow.Li
isthedarkand
myst
eri
ouspartoft
heequati
on
Noma:andAbongiwei
sthel
i
ghtt
ohi
s
dar
kness.Iseei
taswel
l
Iwant edt
ocurlupandhideawaybecausenow
everyonewasjustl
ooki
ngatmeandal lIwas
doingwasjustsmil
ingendl
essl
y
Me:
thanks.Excuseme
Igotup,Qhawet ol
dmet hatLii
spr obabl
yinhis
room andthat'
swher eIheaded, Iknockeda
fewt i
mesthenopenedt hedoort ofindhi
m on
hisbackonthebed, glassont hefloorandthe
dressermi
rrorshat
tered.Atf ir
stIwasscar ed
t
oevengonearhi
m butIt
rusthi
m,Iknowhe
woul
dn'
thur
tme
Me:
Limi
l
e
Cwaka.Nor esponsewhichmademepanicabit
asIwalkedclosertohi
sbed, t
hebl
oodf
rom t
he
woundsonhi sfist
swasdrippi
ngontot
he
whi
tefurrycarpet
Me:
Limi
l
e
Li
:pl
easedon'
tcomeanycl
oser
Me:
babywhathappened?
Hi
m: Abongi
wepl
easej
ustst
aywher
eyouar
e.
Pl
ease
Anynormalpersonwouldhav et
urnedaround
andwalkedoutoratleaststopwheretheywere
butnotme,I'
m asstubbornastheycomeand
thi
swasmymanandasmuchashewon' t
admiti
tri
ghtnow, heneededme.Iclimbedon
thebednexttohim,mirr
oringhi
spositi
onbut
keptmyey esopensincehiswereshut
.Wel ai
d
l
ikethatf
orov eranhour,
justsi
tt
ingi
nsilence
andstari
ngatt hecei
li
ng,myheartwasracing
becauseIdidn'tknowwhatwasgoingto
happennext
Li
:youar
etoost
ubbor
nfory
ouowngood
Me: Il
oveyoutoomuchf ormyowngoodt hen
becauseI'
m notlay
inghereforsolong,
stari
ng
atnothi
ngbecauseI'm st
ubborn.I
'
m here
becausengiy
akthanda
Hi
m:hmmm
HesatupandIdi dthesame, helookedatme,
smil
edfaint
lythent ookmyhandmaki ngme
st
andanddi r
ect edmet ocomest andbetween
hi
slegs.Hepulledmei nforahug, andI
wrappedmyar msar oundhisneckwhi l
ehis
wereonmywai stthenIsatonhi slap
Hi
m: i
fIwentawayf
oralongt
ime,
woul
dyou
st
il
ll
ovemeandwaitforme
Me:
huh?Wentawaywher
e?
Hi
m:woul
dyouwai
tforme?
If
rownedmyey
ebr
owsandmyhear
tbeat
i
ncreased.
Me:
babyy
ouar
enotmaki
ngsense.Uy
aphi
?
Hisey eskeptavertingfrom myf acetohis
bleedi
nghandt ohi sbat hr
oom door ,
whenI
turnedaround,Ithinkmyhear tst
oppedf ora
second.TherewasAv eryonthef l
oor,helooked
deadandIi mmedi at el
yjumpedof fhislapand
rantot hebathr
oom.Hewasbeat enupr eal
ly
badlybuthest i
llhadaf aintpulsewhichwas
whatmademer unoutt her oom andoutt he
house
Me:
aunt
ieLwa
Iwasshout
ingsoev
ery
onet
urnedar
ound
Lwa:
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Limi
l
e.Av
ery
.Someonecal
lanambul
ance
Soso:Abongi
wecal
m down,y
ouarenotmaki
ng
sense.Br
eathandt
ell
uswhat'
sgoi
ngon
Itooki
nadeepbr
eat
hthenexhal
edsl
owl
yand
spokeagai
n
Me:Aver
yisunconsci
ousupst
air
s.Heneedst
o
gett
hehospi
tal
Everyoner ushedont heirfeetandr anupst ai
rs
andIjustst oodf rozenont hespot .Somany
thoughtswer er ushingt hroughmymi nd,I
thoughtLimi l
ewasdoi ngwel l
wi t
ht heanger
managementsowhatcoul dhav epossi bl
y
tri
ggeredt hi
s.Af t
eraf ewmi nutes, car swer e
dri
vingoutoft hey ard,Iwasst i
llnotmov ing,
j
ustst andingthereunt i
lIfeltat hrowcov ermy
shoulders.Iturnedar oundandi twasaunt ie
Lwa.Shesmi ledasshel edmei ntot hehouse,
therewer elesspeopl enow, most l
yj ustt he
females
Lwa:
arey
ouOK?
Inodded,IwasnotOK.Iwast ryingtobeOKbut
i
twasn'thappeni
ng.Ijustkeptthinki
ngwhatif
hedies?YesIdon'tpart
icul
arl
ylikehim butI
don'
twishdeathforhim andwhatWoul d
happentoLimil
eifAverydies?
Lwa:KwandogetAbongi
weacupof
chamomil
eteaplease
Lol
z:wi
thl
otsofsugar
Kwando:
alr
ight
Aft
erIhaddr
ankthetea,
Iwasget
ti
ngcal
mer
andabl
etothi
nkstr
aight
Me:
isLi
sti
l
lupst
air
s?
Lwal
ookedatherf
ri
endst
henatmebutdi
dn'
t
gi
vemeananswer
Me:
aunt
ieLwawher
eishe?
Lwa:Idon'
tknowsweeti
e.Hewasn'tinhis
room whenwegother
e.Hiscari
sst i
l
l out
side
butheisn'
ther
eandhelefthi
sphone
Isi
ghedheavi
ly.NowIwasbeyondworri
ed,I
needtofi
ndhim.Hecan'tbeal
oner
ightnow,he
mightj
ustendupdoingsomethi
ngstupi
d
Me:
Ineedt
ofi
ndhi
m
Kwandi
:youdon'
tknowthi
spl
aceAbongi
we,
youwil
lgetl
osty
oursel
f
Me: wel
l Ican'tj
ustsither
eanddonot hing,he
needstobewi thsomeoner i
ghtnowandhe
needstoknowt hatIdidn'
tsellhim out, t
hatme
call
ingforhelpdi dn'
tmeanthatIdon' tlov ehi
m
orthatIsuddenl ycaremoreforAv eryt hanIdo
him.Ididn'tgetachancet otel
l hi
mt hat ,he
needstoknowt hatOK.Hej ustneedst oknow
Iwasalreadyi
ntear
sandonmyf eet
,mi
ndyouI
don'tev
enhaveacar,Idon'
tknowmyway
aroundPEbutIwantedtofi
ndhim
Lwa:
OKKwandi
l
egowi
thher
.Ifi
tget
stol
ate,
comeback.
Kwandi
:OKma.MasambeAbongs
Igotup,lef
tthethr
owandwewal kedout.We
drovearoundinsil
ence,Idi
dn'tknowwhatIwas
l
ookingfororevenwher etolookbutmyey es
wereout.Thesil
encewasdi sturbedbythe
soundofKwandi '
sphone, i
twasconnectedto
thecarsowhenIsawAl wandewr it
tenonthe
screenIpushedhimt oanswer
Kwandi
:heycuz
Al
wa:
dabssay
syouguy
sar
elooki
ngf
orLi
Kwandi
:yeah.Abongi
weinsi
stedonit
.Weare
st
il
lj
ustdri
vi
ngaround.Wedon'tknowwher
eto
l
ook
Alwa:gotothebeachbutpar
kabi tf
art
hen
walktowardsther
ocks.Youmightfi
ndhi
m
ther
e,that
'shi
sspot
Kwandi
:thankscuz.Wewi
l
llety
ouknow
AndasAl wahaddi
rect
edus,wesuredi
dfi
nd
him si
tt
ingonther
ocks,Iwaswal
ki
ngonwet
sandwithnoshoeson,i
nshort
sandavest
,no
j
acketi
nsi
ght
.Iwasst
art
ingt
ogetcol
d
Me:pl
easej
ustwai
ther
e,Iwantt
otal
ktohi
m
al
one
Kwandi
:Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
'sagoodi
dea
Me:youarecloseenought odosomet
hingi
n
casehefucksmeup.Pl ease
HenoddedasIcl
imbedontothef
ir
strock,
l
eapedover3morethenr
eachedt
heonehe
wason.Iknowheheardmebuthedi
dn'ttur
n
ar
ound
Me:
youar
eadi
ff
icul
tguyt
ofi
nd
Li
:l
eav
emeal
oneAbongi
we
Me:
don'
tev
ent
ryt
hatwi
thme
Him:AbongiweDubel
eavemet
hehel
lal
one.
Youaredist
urbi
ngmypeace
Me:
hei
sn'
tdeady
ouknow
Hi
m:Idon'
tcar
ebutsi
ncey
oucar
esomuch
abouthi
m,gotothehospital
andbebyhi
ssi
de
becauseheneedsyou.Idon'
t
Ifel
tthet
ear
sthr
eateni
ngmyeyesbutIqui
ckl
y
l
ookedupandbli
nkedrapi
dly
.Hewasbackto
shutt
ingmeout
Me:I'
m notgoinganywhere,
ifi
tmeansthatwe
st
ayhereuntilt
hesuncomesupt henfi
newe
wi
llbutI
'm notleav
ingyouhere
Hi
m: t
hisi
snott
hetimetobestubbor
n.You
wantt
obeherewhenthecopscomet oar
rest
me?Abongiwej
ustgobr
uh,pl
ease
Me:
arr
esty
ouf
orwhat
?Hei
sn'
tdead
Justt
henthreecar
sdroveont othesand,aG
wagon,Wrangl
erandWi l
dTrak.Defi
nit
elynot
copsbutIcoul
dtel
lthathewasinpanicmode
Hi
m:fuck.Let
'sgobef
oret
heygett
othese
r
ocks
Weappr
oachedt
hem andt
hecl
oserwegot
,I
real
i
zedthati
twasuncl
eSoso,uncl
eJasonand
uncl
eMike.Uncl
eMikewasfumingwit
hanger
Soso:Kwandi
l
eiswai
ti
ngf
ory
oui
nthecar
Abongiwe
I'
m scar
edoft hesemensoIjustnoddedand
walkedtowardstheparki
ngs,Ikeptt
urni
ng
backwithevery5stepsandwhenIhear dLicr
y
i
nagony ,IwantedtorunbackbutKwandil
ehad
alr
eadyspottedmesohest oppedme
Me:
letmego!Theyar
egoi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
m
Kwandi
:theywon'
t
Me:
letmegoKwandi
l
emahn!
Hepickedmeupandt hrewmeoverhis
shoulderandwalkedtowardst
hecarwit
hme
ki
ckingandscreaming.Heputmeinthecar
,
buckledtheseatbel
tthengoti
taswell
Kwandi:
I'
m notgoi
ngtoleav
ejusty
et,cal
m
down.Li
milei
sfamil
y,t
heywouldn'
tki
l
l hi
m.
Uncl
eMi
kei
sjustangr
y
Me:
heal
mostki
l
ledAv
erysot
heycoul
dki
l
lme
t
oo
Hi
m:t
heywon'
t
Aft
er30minsorso,t
hecarsdrov
eout,t
heG
wagonstoppedbyourcar
,thewindowrol
l
ed
downandKwandi di
dthesamewi t
hhis
Soso:
wear
edr
ivi
ngt
othehospi
tal
Myhear talmostst
oppedbutIl
ostmywords
andtheidiotI'
m wi
thj
ustnoddedandf
oll
owed
theothercars.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*27*
"
Nev
erunderesti
mateaman'sabi
l
ityt
omake
y
oufeel
guil
tyforhi
smist
akes"
#nar
rat
ed
ThemomentAbongi we'sbackturnedtowalk
awayfrom whereMike,Soso,
JasonandLi mil
e
were,
Mi kethr
ewhisfir
stpunchleadingt
oa
sof
tgr
oant
oescapeLi
mil
e'
smout
h
Soso:
whatt
hef
uckbr
uh?
Mike:don'twhatt
hefuckmeLwandi so,
that
'
s
myf uckensonlayi
nginthehospi
tal
becauseof
t
hisidiot
Jay:noonei
sdi
sput
ingthatbutwearenother
e
tobeatt
heki
dup,weareheretotal
ktohim
Mike:wel
lspeakfory
our
sel
fbecauseI
'
m her
e
t
of i
nishl
entwana
Hethrewasecondpunchwhi chthrewLimil
e
of
fhisfeetandhelandedonthefloor,
theloud
cr
yofagonyt hatAbongi
weheardwasf rom the
mult
ipleki
cksthathewasrecei
vi
ng
Jay
:OKy
ou'
vepr
oveny
ourpoi
nt.Leav
ehi
m
now
Jasonpull
edhisbr
otherawayfr
om Limil
e'
s
bodybecauseheknowsonceMi kegetst
othe
pl
aceheisatnow,hewon'tstopfucki
ngup
Li
mileunt
ilheisdead.Sosoreachedhi
sarm
outtoLi
mileandpull
edhim up.Hecoughedup
bl
ood,qui
cklyspati
toutandwi pedhi
sface
wit
hhisT-shi
rt
Soso:
ntwanawhathappened?
Li
mil
edidn'
trespondandthegotMikeeven
morepi
ssedbutjudgi
ngfrom howJasonhad
hi
m hel
ddown, hewasn'
tgoingtoescapehi
s
gr
ip.
Mi
ke:
letmef
ini
sht
hiski
dof
f
Li:f
inishmeoffbeforeIfinishyoursonof f.
Yinkwenkweleyathat'
swhyIf uckedhi m up.He
doesn'tdeser
vetobecal ledamanf ortheshit
thatheputAbongiwet hrough.Ididn'tfuckhim
upf ormyownwel l-
being, If
uckedhim upf or
Abongi webutI'
m st
il
lgoingt ofuckhi m upfor
me
Soso:Li
mi l
ewatchit
.Wedi
dn'
trai
sey
out
o
di
srespectyourel
der
s
Li:Iknowdadbuty ouraisedmet ofi
ghtf orthe
womanIl ove,tohonourherwher eshef eels
power l
ess.That '
swhatIdi d.UncleMikeand
auntPal esawon'tunderstandbecauset ot hem
Averyisagol denboyandI '
mt heblacksheep
that'
sdat i
ngthewhor ethatbr okethei
rson' s
heart.Iknowhowt heyseeherandIdon' tcare,I
woul dbeatany oneupthatdar estofuckwi th
thatgirlbecauseIloveher
Theystoodt here,inthesandj ustlooki
ngat
eachotherinthedar k.Sosowassmi l
ingwhile
Jasonletoutasof tchuckle.Mikeont heother
handjustlostthewi lltofi
ghtLimileanymore.It
wasev er
ythingt hathesaidt hatmadehi m
quest
ionwhet herhewasn' ttooquicktoact
befor
ef i
ndingoutt hecauseoft hewholething.
Soso'
sphoner angf rom hispocket,whenhe
sawthatitwasLoy isocalli
ng,heanswer ed
Soso:
shont
wana
Loy
:shot
ata,
youguy
sneedt
ocomet
othe
hospit
al.Thi
ngsar
en'tl
ooki
ngsogoodwi
th
AveryandauntPal
iiscausi
ngascene
Soso:al
ri
ghtwear
eonourway
.Justhol
dthe
for
tunti
lwegett
here
Loy:al
ri
ght
.Doy ouknowiftheyfoundLi
ornot
?
Alwandehasbeencall
ingnonstop
Soso:
wedi
d.Wear
ecomi
ngwi
thhi
m now
Loy
:shot
aima
*
*
Idi
dn'tknownordi dIunder standwhywewer e
suddenlygoingt othehospital,di
dsomet hing
happent oLi
mi lewhilet
heywer ebeati
nghi m
up?Arewegoi ngthereforAv eryorwhat ?And
thi
spersont hat'
smydesi gnat eddri
ver,didn'
t
bothertoaskt heimportantquest i
ons.Hej ust
noddedandf ol
lowed.Wedr ov einsil
enceandi t
wasasi fuyangilay
abyst oppingatev er
yr ed
robotwhent herewer en'
tanycar sont heroad,
i
tsf r
eakenmi dnightinthemi ddleoft heweek,
j
ustdr iv
epastt hedamnt hing.Iopenedt he
doorbef orehehadev enpr essedt hepar ki
ng
breakandIex itedthecar,wewer efinall
yatthe
hospital,
172hour slater
.OKI '
m beingdr amatic
butyoucat chmydr i
ft
.Idon'tev enknowwher e
Iwasr ushingt oobutwhenIsawLi mile
standing,thebi ggestwaveofr el
iefwashed
overmybody ,Irantohim andwr appedmy
armsar oundhi m andjustcried.Ididn'tcare
whowasar oundus, hewasOKandt hat'sall
I
caredabout
Li
:ouchmyangel
notsohar
d
Iwassqueezi
ngtheli
feoutofhim.Ipul
led
backfr
om thehugandonlythendi
dIspothis
bust
edlipandthedr
iedbl
oodf r
om hisnose
Me:
arey
ouOK?
Hesmi
l
ed,
kissedmyf
oreheadt
hennodded.
Thisloveandli
fethingwi llShockyou,hewas
madatmenotsol ongagobutl ookatusnow,
fi
ndingcomf or
tineachot her'
sarms.Myey es
managedt ocatchagl i
mpseofAv ery'
smom
andhonestlyIfel
tbadf orher,i
tsherchildthat
mycr azyboyfr
iendf uckedupandt hestateshe
wasi nwassaddeni ng
Soso:
anynews?
Q:hehasbeenhavingsei
zur
essincewe
br
oughthi
mi n.Hehasalotofi
nternali
njuri
es,
br
okenri
bs,coll
arboneandhi
skneei sfucked
If
eltLi
mil
e'sbodytenseupnextt
omi ne,Iknow
myboyfri
endwellenoughtoknowthatatthis
momenthewasf eeli
ngbadforhi
sactions
Loy:buthei
sst
abl
efornow.St
il
lunconsci
ous
butstabl
e
Il
etoutasighofr
eli
ef,Iwasn'
tevenawarethat
Iwashol
dingmybreath.Itwasthatsi
ghthat
madeAvery'
smom awar ethatIwashere.Thi
s
wholeti
meshehashadherheadbur
iedi
nher
husband'
schest
Pal
i
:getthatJezebeloutofher
erightnow.She
i
sn'
twelcomeher e.HerandherJudas
Wowt
aket
hewhol
ebi
bleapar
twoul
dyou?
!
Lwakho:
mom comeon.Li
isf
ami
l
y
Pali
:don'ty
oudar etellmethatLwakhol onke,
don'tyoudare.Yourbrotheri
sgoi ngtodie
becauseoft hatt
hing.Theygav ehim korobel
a
that'
swhyhei ssoungr atef
ul.Bit
ingthehand
thatfeedsyou
Ifel
tLi
mil
ewant i
ngtobr
eakawayfrom mebut
Ihel
dhimtight
erandhelookedatmewhil
eI
shookmyheadsof t
ly
Me:
let
'sj
ustgo
Pal
i
:good.
Kwandil
etossedLihiskey
sandwewalkedout
anddrovebacktohisaunt
'spl
acei
ncomplet
e
si
lence,hewasinhi
sownwor l
dandsowasI
.
Hepar kedi
nthegar
agebutwhenItr
ied
openingmydoorhestoppedme
Li
:canwet
alkf
orasecond?
Ir
elaxedandl
etgooft
hedoorhandl
e
Him:I
'm sor
ryf
ort
hewayIspoket
oyouatt
he
beach
Inod,honest
lyIhadlongfor
got
tenaboutt
hat
.
I'
mjustgladwef oundhi
m andheisOK
Me:
andAv
ery
?Why
?
Hesi
ghedt
hent
ookapause
Him:Ihadtodoit.Iwon'tgoi ntodetai
l
sr i
ght
nowbutIjusthadt odoit.Ididn'
tmeant obeat
hi
m uplikethatt
houghbuthekeptpushi ngme.
I
'm somadatmy selff
orlett
inghim setme
back.Iwasdoingwel l
babe, IknowIwas
Me:youwer
edoingreall
ywellngempel
a.Don'
t
bet
oohardonyoursel
f.Sli
pupshappen
Him:IknowbutIwasalmostatmymi l
estone
andthenIwasgoingtoaskyoutomarryme.
NowIhav et
ostar
talloveragai
nbecauseI
knowy ouwon'
tmarrymenowbecauseoft hi
s
Itookhi
shandsintomine,
Ichuckl
edathow
di
r t
yhewas,sandall
over,
dri
edblood.Justa
complet
emessIt el
lyou
Me: i
tsamar athonbabywam, notasprint
.I'
m
st
il
lhere.Isti
ll
lov ey
ou.Doesn'tmat t
erhow
manydoov er
sy ouwanttot ake,I
'
llst
il
lbehere
aslongasy ouar est
il
ltr
yingtobetteryoursel
f
Him:enkosiMaDube.I
'
m sur
eyouwishyou
woul
dhav esett
ledf
orsomeguywithafade
andskinnyj
eanseUKZNandnotthi
sidi
ot
Ismi
l
easIshakemyhead
Me:
Ilov
emyi
diot
Wewalkedint
othehouseandauntLwastood
upi
mmedi at
ely
,tookonel
ookatLi
mileandjust
l
aughed
Kwando:
eeuwbr
uhgoshower
Li
:shutupIdon'
tst
ink.I
'
mjustdi
rt
y
Lwa:j
ustgoshowerandsl
eep.Wewi
l
ltal
kin
themorni
ng.I
'
m al
sotir
ed
Sheheadedfort
heelevat
orwhil
eIbasi
cal
ly
threwmysel
fonthecouch,Li
mil
eusedthe
stair
sandnowIwasstuckwithKwando
Kwando:
canIasky
ousomet
hing?
Me:
isi
tgoi
ngt
oannoyme?
Sheshrughershoul
der
sandIsatupont
he
couch
Me:
khul
uma
Her:howdoy ouj
ustdot
hat
?Actcr
azyj
ust
becauseyourboy
fri
endr
anaway
OKsheisannoy
ingmeandI
'
m probabl
ygoing
t
ofuckherupbefor
eIev
ent
hinkaboutbed
Me:
excuseme?
Her:Idon'tmeaniti
nabadway .Imeanyou
don'
tknowy ourwayaroundthi
splace,
heck
youdon'tevenknowy ourwayaroundthis
housey etbutyouwerejustr
eadytogof i
ndhi
m
outthereatnight
.Li
kedoy oulovehimthat
much?
Me:uhm y
eahIki
ndado.Whatdoy
out
hinkwe
ar
edoingher
e?Si
dlal
aizi
ndl
u?
Her
:arglet
'
sleavei
tman,
youdon'
tgetwhat
I
'mtry
ingtoask
Me:
thent
ryaski
ngi
tpr
oper
lyt
henI
'
llgeti
thaw
Shewasbusyspinni
ngherphonei
nherhand,
rot
ati
ngitar
oundli
keNgiy
amshelaor
somethi
ngli
kethat
Her:OKther
eist
hisguyri
ghtandhei
scool
and
st
uffandwearevi
bingqui
tewelly
abo
Allt
hiscool
kidslanguagegivesmeaheadache
hey.Whathappenedtojustspeaki
ngpr
operl
y
though?
Her:t
hingisheis19,wasaf i
rstyeart
hisyear
butIt
hinkIli
kehim alot
.Notgol ookforhi
min
themiddl
eoft heni
ghtkindofli
kehim but
normalpeopl
el i
kehi
m
Ichuckl
esoftl
y.Thi
sgir
lreal
lyis
misunderst
oodbutaisukait
sherowndoi
ng,
shejustcomesoffwaytoostrongl
y
Me:
thent
ell
him
Her:uhm fuckno.Hehastocometomeand
we'v
ebeenf r
iendsf
oralongt
ime.OKmay be
notfri
endsbutf ami
lyf
ri
endandIdon'
tthi
nkhe
hasnoticedme
Me:
dudeyouare21,
ify
ouwantthekidthengo
f
ori
torel
setheywi
ll
snatchhi
mfrom you
Justthenatextcamethr
oughonmyphone,
I
openeditandsmiledt
omy sel
fasIr
eadi
t
Fr
om:
Mine
ISTI
LLWANTTOSLEEPWI
THMYDI
CK
BURIEDDEEPI
NYOURPUSSYSOCOMEHERE
ALREADY
Her
:andnow
Itur
nedmyphonet
oherandshowedhert
he
text
Her
:eeeuwy
out
woar
edi
sgust
ing
ThenextdayauntLwacal ledameeti
ngfor
Avery'
sparent
s,Liandmy self
.Wewereall
gather
edinherstudy,si
tt
ingt her
eawkwardl
y
Soso:Li
mileweneedt oknowwhyntwana.We
knowitcan'
tjustbeaboutAbongi
we.Sowhat
happened
Li
:Iwantedtodir
ectt
hisquest
iontoauntPal
i
anduncl
eMi kebuti
twon'tf
indrel
evancesoI
'l
l
di
rectt
oy oudadandmama
Lwa:
OK
I
'
m st
il
louther
esit
ti
nginsi
l
ence,twi
ddl
i
ngmy
t
humbsbecauseIj
ustf
eell
ikesi
ncewe'
ve
cover
edthatt
hisi
sn'
taboutme,
Ishoul
dhav
e
beendismi
ssed
Li:howwouldyouguysfeelifKwandost ar
ted
datingaguywithagir
lf
ri
endt hatpromi
sesher
theworld,
makesherbeliev
et hathelovesher
,
takeshervi
rgi
nit
yandimpregnat esher
?How
woul dt
hatmakey ouf
eel?
Soso:I
'
dki l
labastar
d.Noonemesseswi
thmy
daught
ers.AlakheZul
ulear
ntt
hatt
hehar
dway
Ifel
tmyhear tcli
nch,
InevertoldLi
milet
hatI
waspr egnantatsomepointsohowi sit
possibl
ethatheknowst hatalr
eady?
Li
:sohowdoy
ouexpectmenott
oki
l
lAv
ery
?
Pal
i:t
hatgir
lisn'
tyourdaughter
.Itsnott
he
samethingandsheknewt hatAv erywas
ser
iousaboutAphelel
ebutbecauseshei st
he
waysheis,shewentintothatknowingl
y
Me:
Idi
dn'
tknow
Iquickl
ywipedtheonet
earthatr
oll
eddownmy
cheekthenclear
edmythroat
Me: Idi
dn'tknow.Hetoldmet hatyouwer e
forci
nghimt obewithher.Thathet ri
edto
dumpherbutshewoul druntoy ouandy ou
wouldforcehimt ost
ayinar el
ationshiphe
didn'
twant
Pali
:Ididnosucht hi
ng.Av eryl
ovedyoubutyou
wentandsleptwi t
hthatJudasandgot
pregnantt
hentriedpinni
ngi tonhim wher
eas
hewasal r
eadyex pecti
ngababywi thAphelel
e
thenyouabort
edt hechild.Youbrokemyson's
heartandnowy oualmostgothi m ki
ll
ed
Iopenedmymout ht osaysomet hi
ngbutIjust
couldn'tf
indthewor ds.HonestlyIhadnoidea
whatt osaywi t
hregardstot hatsojustkept
qui
et .Therewasnowayshewasgoi ngto
bel
iev eJezebeloverhergoldenboy
Li
:wel
lhesol
dyouawhol
eloadofbul
l
shi
t
Lwa:
Limi
l
eHadebe
Hertonewasf
ir
m andthelookthatshegave
himindi
cat
edcl
ear
lythathehadcrossedthe
l
ine
Li:uxolomama.Poi ntisAv eryisal iar.Hewas
mor et hanhappyt otellmet hatI'm hav inghi s
sloppyseconds, thathewasAbongi we'sf i
rst
everythingt otheext entthatIwon' tev enf ather
herf i
rstchildbecausehehasal r
eadyt i
cked
thatbox.Yest heabor ti
onwasmut uallyagreed
uponbyt hebot hoft hem butAv erywasol der,
heshoul dhav edoneal otmor ethant odump
Abongi weaf tershewentt hrought hat.That 's
whyIf uckedhi m upbecausehei souther e
blamingAbongi wef oral lhiscr apandt aking
noneoft her esponsi bil
ity
.Yesaunt iePal i
,I'
m
notAbongi we'sf atherbutwhenshei sher e
amongstmyf ami lybecauseofmet henI '
m
everythingt oherandIwon' thesi t
atet ost and
upf orher .Bei ttoy ouorany oneelse.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*28*
"You'
vegotanewstorytowr
it
eandi
tlooks
nothi
ngli
keyourpast
."
Ilookedatmy selfintheinthemi rrorand
smi l
ed.Iwasi nsanelyproudofmy sel
f,notjust
forcompletingmydegr eei nr
ecor dt i
mebutf or
getti
ngoutofv arsit
yaliv
e.Thatpl acet r
ulyisa
j
ungl ewit
hal otofwi l
danimal sreadyt ojust
pounceony oui fyouareweak.I '
m st art
ingmy
newj obtodayatAnqobeaudi tor
sasan
i
ndust r
ialpsychologistandasmuchasIam
nervousabouti t,I'
m sti
llexci
ted
Dad:
ready
?
Inodwi t
hahugesmi l
eonmyf aceasIgrabmy
handbag,Liy
anaforcedmet ogetit
.Apparent
ly
I'
m aladynowandIshoul di
nvestinalotof
handbagsandstil
ettos.MydadandIhav e
breakf
asttoget
her,i
tshisof
fdaybuthei sup
earl
yjusttoseemeof f
Me:
doIl
ookf
ine?
Him:youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmybaby
.I'
m sopr
oud
ofyou
Iki
sshischeekasmyphoner
ingsandI
'
m
headedoutthedoor
Me:
byedad
Hi
m:by
eandhav
eagoodday
Me:
thanks
IanswerasIwal
kout.I
tsmybae,
heissti
l
l
sul
kingovermeref
usi
ngtomovetoJo'
burgbut
heisslowl
yget
ti
ngoverit
Me:
heyboo
Li
:howcomey ouhav
en'
tsentmeaphot
oof
howyoulookt
oday?
Me:l
olbecauseyouhelpedmepickmyoutf
it
l
astni
ghtsoy oual
readyknowhowIlook
Hel
aughs,
goshImi
sshi
m.Af
tert
hewayhe
stoodupf ormet ohisfamily,It
hinkIf
elli
nlov
e
withhim 10t i
mesmor ethanIal r
eadywasin
l
ov ewi t
hhim.Av er
yisstil
lrecoveri
ngathome,I
don'treall
ycaremuchf orhim butmybestie
Lwakhoi swor ki
nginPEwhi leLiyanai
sin
Durban.I'm st
uckinEmpangeni wit
hnofri
ends
again.Storyofmylife
Him:l
olbutbabeIonl
yhel
pedwi
tht
he
under
wear
Me:becauset
hat'
sal
lyoucar
edabout.I
'
llsend
youapicwhenIgett
owork.Ineedt
ocatcha
t
axiri
ghtnow
Hi
m:Ineedt
obuyy ouacarsocany
ouhur
ryup
wi
thget
ti
ngyourl
i
censealr
eady
Me:OKOKI 'l
lgettoi
t.Myl
oveIr
eal
l
yhav
eto
go.I
'
llcal
lyouthough
Hi
m:l
ovey
oumyangel
Me:
lov
eyout
oo
Ihungupast hetaxist
oppedi nfrontofmeand
Igotin.WhenIgott otheofficeIwas
i
nt r
oducedt othewholestaffbySi nokunqoba
Zunguandj udgingbythisstaff,
I'
m pr obablythe
youngestoneher e.Myoffi
cewassmal lbut
nicewithadesk, chai
randcouch.Ty pical
therapi
stt ypeofv i
be.Idi
dn'thavemucht odo
onmyf i
rstdaysoIwasdoi ngf i
li
ngand
paperwor k.Whent herewasaknockonmy
doorandi topened, Ismil
edwhenIsawwhoi t
was
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Laz:mom tol
dmeit
syourf
ir
stdayt
odayandI
thoughtI
'
dcomesayhi
Igotupf r
om mychai r,
gav ehim ahugandwe
satont hecouch.I
'm sti
ll
tryi
ngtobui l
da
rel
ati
onshipwithLunathiandsof arsogood,we
hardl
yseeeachot herbecauseshei singrade
11allthewayinDur banwher easwithLazol
a,
hejustdriv
esthissi
dewhenev er
.Ididn'
tthi
nk
I
'denj
oyhav
ingsi
bli
ngswhil
ehat
ingmymot
her
butIr
eal
l
yli
kemybrother
sandsi
ster
Me:
youdr
oveal
lthewayher
eony
ourown?
Him:wel
ldadhasanwi
thappoi
ntmentwi
thDr
Zul
uatGardenCl
ini
c
Me:
isheOK?
Hi
m:y
eahhei
sfi
ne.Justmi
norki
dneyi
ssues
Mylit
tl
ebr
otheri
scut ethough,wel
lal
lmy
si
bli
ngsar
egoodl ooki
ngsoIguessourmother
gotsomet
hingri
ghtwheni tcomestomaki
ng
us
Hi
m:mom sai
dIshoul
dsayhi
Me:
Lazdon'
t.
Hi
m:shei
str
yingAbongi
we
Me: Idon'
tcare.Sheshoul
dhavetri
edyears
ago.Ihavenopr obl
em wit
hyouandmyot her
sibl
i
ngsandIabsol ut
elyador
eLubanzibutas
forYolanda,
Ican'tf
orgi
veherLazol
a.Ij
ust
can'
t
Hi
m: OKfi
ne,l
et'
schangethet
opi
c.Soar
e
t
hereanycut
egirl
saroundher
e?
Me:
lol
Ithoughty
ouhadagi
rl
fr
iend
Hi
m:Ido.So?
Ihithi
sar m aswel aughedtogether
.Aftera
whilehehadt oleaveandobv iousl
yIhadt oget
backtowor k.AtlunchtimeIwentt oeatinthe
dini
ngar ea,yept hi
scompanyhadadi ningarea.
Everyt
hingi nthi
spl acewasf ancyandbecause
Iwasnew, Ihadn'tmadef ri
endssoIat ealone.I
call
edLi sinceIhadpr omisedt ocal
lhi
m
anyway
Li
:heybabe
Me:
arey
oubusy
?
Him:nahnotreally
.How' syourf
ir
stday?Ihope
youarenotbeingy ouranti
soci
alsel
fandyou
areput
ti
ngy oursel
foutthere
Igi
ggl
edathowwellheknowsmenow,I
'
mjust
notapeopl
e'
sper
son.That'
showIam
Me:
I'
mtr
ying.Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m: Imissy
out
oo.Am Iseei
ngy
out
his
weekend?
Me:yes,
I'
ll
comet
oJo'
bur
gonFr
idayaf
ter
wor
k
Wecont i
nuedmaki
ngplansforthi
scoming
weekendandIwasgetti
ngmor eandmore
exci
tedaboutit
.Whenmyf i
rstdaycametoan
end,thebosscametocheckonme.
Si
no:
sohowwasy
ourf
ir
stday
?
Me:
itwasn'
tbad.Notbusybutnotbadatal
l
Her:i
twil
lgetbusy,
trustme.Wi
ththemerger
bei
ngcompl et
edinacoupleofmonths,
thi
ngs
wil
lgetcr
azyaroundhere
Me:
I'
mlooki
ngf
orwar
dtoi
t
Her
:al
ri
ghtt
henI
'
llseey
out
omor
row,
Ist
il
l
hav
etopi
ckmysonupf
rom day
car
e
Wewal kedoutt oget her,hertohercarandme
tothet axirank.WhenIgothome, Iwast ir
ed
butIst i
llbuiltupt heener gyt ocookandmake
tomor row'slunchf ormydadandI .WhenIgot
i
nbed, Ifel
l asleept hemomentmyheadhi tthe
pil
low.Wor kingi sgoi ngtoexhaustmebutI
knowi t
swor thit,Ihav esomanypl ansIneedt o
putintoact ion.Ineedt obuil
dmydadabi g
house, takecar eofhi m sohecanst opwor ki
ng
andj ustbet hebestper sonIcanbef orhim.
Thenextcoupl eofday swer eprett
ymucht he
sameunt ilThur sdaywhenIwashav ingmy
l
unchonmyownasusual whensomeguyj ust
decidedt osi tinf rontofme.Il ookedupandhe
wasn' tevenpay ingat tenti
ontome, j
ust
focusedonhi sst eersbur gersonami Ii
gnored
him andat emyham andcheesesandwi ch
?
?:whydoy
oui
sol
atey
our
sel
f?
Me:
excuseme?
??
:youar
eal
waysinyourof
ficeandwheny
ou
docomeout
,yousi
thereal
one.Why?
Me:
becauseIdon'
tknowany
oneher
e
Hi
m:sohowwil
lyouknowpeopl
ewheny
ou
i
sol
atey
our
sel
f?
Iwassl
owlyget
tingannoy
edbyhi
m,ser
iousl
y
whatwashispr
oblem.
Me:
I'
mleav
ing
Hi
m:al
ri
ghtby
e
Igotupbutbef
oreIwal
kedaway,Ihadt
ogive
hi
m apieceofmymind,hei
srudenjest
rai
ght
Me:soyoucamefrom wher
every
oucamef
rom
anddeci
destocomeberudetome
Hi
m:Iwasr
ude?Howso?
Me:
argf
orgeti
t
Mxm r
udeandarr
ogantidi
ot.Idon'
thav
et i
me
f
orhi
m andIwon'
tlethi
mr uinmyday,I
'm
seeingmymantomor r
owsoIwon' tl
etanyone
steponmytoes.Aft
erworkIbumpedi nt
othe
sameguyfrom l
unchatthet
axirankwhereI
wascuingf
orataxi
?
?:wemeetagai
n
Me:
goaway
Hi
m:andy
ety
ousai
dI'
mrude
Me:
becausey
ouar
evel
e
Hechuckl edandIroll
edmyey es.Hemadesur
e
t
osi tnexttomei nthetaxi
whichmademe
r
ealizethatIreal
lyshoul
dhurr
yupandgetmy
l
icensesoIwon' thavetogothrought
his
Hi
m:I
'
m AJbyt
heway
Me:
OK
Whatkindofnamei
sAJvel
e?Mxm cool
kids
yetheisn'
tev
enaki
dkesoIdon'
tknowwhat
hispr
oblem i
s
Hi
m:andy
ouar
e?
Me:
annoy
edwi
thy
ou
Hi
m: comeon.Li
ght
enupMi ssser
ious.Jeez
,
I
'mjustt
ryi
ngtobef
riendl
y
Me:well
Idon'
twanty
out
obef
ri
endl
y.Gosh
youar
ejustt
oomuch
Hi
m:OKt
ell
mey
ournameandI
'
lll
eav
eyou
al
one
Ir
oll
edmyey
esagai
nandhel
aughed.
Me:
itsAbongi
we.Abongi
weDube
Him:I'
m AJDlaminiandy
ouareAbongi
we
Dube.Sameinit
ial
sandever
ythi
ng
YhoJesusChr i
st,
thistaxidri
verneedst
obeon
somef astandfur
iousdrivi
ngbecauseIcan'
t
takeanymoreofthistort
ure.Ihatesmal
ltal
k
Hi
m: OKI'
m goingt
okeepquietnow.Ithi
nkyou
ar
ebeauti
ful
,l
ikeser
iousl
ygorgeous.I
'
vebeen
watchi
ngyouatwork
Me:
didn'
tyousayy
ouwer
egoi
ngt
okeepqui
et
now?
Helaughedagai
n,t heguywasn'tbadlooki
ng
kodwayaz.Toobadhei sannoyi
ngandI '
m
al
readyspokenfor.Iwassogr at
efulwhenI
event
uall
ygotoff,
hemadesur etowav eandI
madesuretoignorehim.
Li
:I
'v
emi
ssedy
ou
Ihadjustl
andedi
nJo'
bur
gandhewast
her
eto
pickmeup
Me:metoo.Pl
easet
ell
mey
ouhav
efoodwher
e
wearegoi
ng
Hi
m:l
olIknewy
ouwoul
dbehungr
ysoIcooked
Wedr ovetohi
sflatwhil
eItoldhim allaboutmy
j
obandhowmuchIwasenj oyingt osof arandI
l
ov edhowhejustli
stenedwithasmi leonhi s
faceasifI'
mtel
li
nghi mthebestst oryinthe
wor l
d.Whenwegott ohisfl
at,therewasa
candleli
tdi
nner
,rosepetal
sall overthef l
oor
Me:
babet
hisi
s..
.wow
Li
:thi
sisnot
hingmyangel
Me:
itsev
ery
thi
ngt
ome
Hekissedmycheekashepassedmetogo
pl
acemybagsinthebedroom whi
l
eIj
ust
appr
eciat
edal
lofthi
s
Hi
m: ar
eyougoi
ngt
oeatf
ir
stort
akeabat
h
f
ir
st?
Me:
bat
hfi
rst
ThebubblebathIjusthadwasexact lywhatI
need,rel
axi
ngandsoot hing.Someoneneedsto
remindmewhyIt urneddownanoppor tuni
tyt
o
j
ustmov einwitht
hismanandenj oylif
e.We
haddinnerwit
hmydr essedinjustarobe,I
wasn'tgoi
ngtodressupf oral
lofthi
sagain
Me:
Ireal
l
yappr
eci
atet
hisl
ove
Hi
m:any
thi
ngt
ogetmygi
rlsmi
l
ing.
Me:
I'
m get
ti
ngsexaf
tert
hisr
ight
?
Hebr okeint
olaught
erandIj
oinedi
n.Iloveus,
I
l
ov ehim andhowwecanbesochi l
dish
toget
herandy ethav
esomuchf unwithoutt
he
outsi
dewor l
d
Hi
m:I
'
mtoot
ir
edf
orsex
Me:
that
'snotf
unny
.Thi
sfoodi
samazi
ngby
t
heway
Him:yourmani
sabeastint
heki
tchen,
you
shoul
dknowthatbynow
Iof f
eredtowasht hedi shessincehecookedso
Ijustloadedt hem inthewashi ngmachi nethen
l
ef tthem i
nt hereandmademywayt othe
bedr oom wher eIfoundhi m gettingreadyt o
takeashower .Iletthegownsl i
deof fmybody
andhewat chesmei ntenselywi thoututter
inga
wor d.I'
m nowl eftinjustmybi rthdaysuit,Idid
sayIwasn' tgoingt odressupf orthatdinner,I
wasn' tki
dding.
Li
:babey
ouar
enotbei
ngf
air
Me:
lol
goshower
Him:Imustl
eavemysexynakedgir
lf
riendi
n
hereandgoshower
?Idon'
tseethathappeni
ng
hey
Heappr oachesmewi ththetowel st
il
lwr
apped
aroundhisbodyandmyi nnerdivadoes
cartwheel
sbuti t
swhenhel if
tsmeupand
tossesmeont hebedthatIcelebrat
ethemost
becauseIknowi tsabouttogodown
Hi
m:hmmm doy ouknowhowmuchI
'
ve
mi
ssedt
hisbody
?
Me:It
hinky
ouar
eaboutt
oshowmej
usthow
much
Hi
m:y
ouar
edamnr
ightaboutt
hat
Hesepar at
esmylegsandmyhear tst
arts
pounding,mybodytingl
esandIj ustwantallof
himrightnow,nofourplayjustdi
ckact i
onwaya
waya.Het akesawiffbetweenmyl egsand
rel
easesamoanofsat i
sfacti
onbef or
ehaving
hi
sfi
rstt
ast
eofwhatonl
ybel
ongst
ohi
m
Me:
baby
That'sallIcanmanaget osayasheeat sme
out,suckingonmycl i
tandf uckingmewi thhis
tongue.Itallj
ustf eel ssogood, I
'm clutchingon
tothesheet sf ordearl ife,archingmybackand
slowlyri
singof fthebedonl ytoslam backoni t.
Thismanwi llbet hedeat hofme.Myt oescur l
whenIf eel afingerent eri
ngme, followedby
anotherone, slowl yent eringandexi ti
ngmy
cookie,heisist akinghi st i
mei npl easuringme
andI '
m enjoyingandhat ingi tatthesamet i
me
becauseIneedi tr oughandf astrightnowbut
somehowIf i
ndmy selffuckinghi sf aceand
fi
ngers.Ineedmor et hanwhathei sgi vingme
ri
ghtnowandheknowst his,heknowsand
understandsmybodymor ethatIdosoIdon' t
dareaskf ormor ebecauseIknowi tscomi ng
Me:
ohGod
Myhandi sonhi sheadandI '
m bucki ngupand
downbutwhenIf eelhisf i
ngersl owl yent eri
ng
myanal openi ngI '
m donef or.Theor gasm t hat
washesov ermei sov erwhel ming,myhands
tr
avel allov ert hebedasIr eleaseonhi sf ace.
Thismandoest hedamnt hingwi thhi st ongue.
Yeeeer .Idon' tdar eopenmyey es, Idon'twant
toseehi mr ightnowbutwhenIf eel hisbody
hoveringov ermi ne,Iant i
cipatehi snextmov e.
Myl egsopenwi derf orhim andIwr apt hem
aroundhi swai standpul l
himt owar dsmeusi ng
j
ustmyl egsandhechuckl esbutdoesn' tsay
anything.Hepl antsawetki ssonmyneck,
suckingoni tabi ttoohar dasheent ersme
slowly.Liker eallyslowl yandt hemor eItryto
pullhim all thewayi n, hepul l
sback
Me:
babypl
ease
Him:shhhhdon'tr
ushSt
handwasam.I
tsal
l
your
s.I'
m al
lyours
Thosewor
dssendat
ingl
i
ngsensat
ional
lov
er
mybodyandwhenhei sf
ull
yin,hetakesa
pause,li
ft
sbothmyarmsabov emyheadand
pi
nst hem wi
thonehandthenmov esbackto
myear
Hi
m:howdoy
ouwanti
t?
Me:
har
dandf
ast
Hi
m:asy
ouwi
sh
Iwasal r
eadysoaki
ngwetsowhenhest art
ed
poundinginme,all
Icoulddowasjustscr
eam
hisnameov erandoveragai
nandwhatmade
matterworsewasthatIwasrest
ri
ctedbecause
Icouldn'
ttouchhi
m.
Hi
m:y
ouf
eel
sogoodbaby
Atleasthecanf or
m sentences,I'
m agoner
ri
ghtnowandwhenhi sfingersstarttwisti
ngon
myni ppl
es, mywal l
sti
ght enaroundhi sdick
andI'mr eadytoexplode.Ithi
nkhecanf eeli
t
becausehegoeshar derandwer eachour
cl
imaxt ogether.Itr
ycatchingmybr eathand
maki
ngmywaybacktoeart
hbecauser
ight
nowI
'm oncl
oudni
nef
eeli
ngthor
oughl
yfucked
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ousomuch
Hekissesmyf or
eheadt henpl
acesalongpeck
onmyl i
psbeforerol
li
ngof fmeandpulli
ngme
tohischestandwrappinghisar
m aroundme.I
kisshi
schestandjustsmi l
etomyself
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oobaby
.Fuckt
hatwasamazi
ng
Beinghappyissuchanamazi ngfeel
i
ng,
y ou
couldseethedull
estt
hingandstaysmil
ingjust
nj
ebecausey ouarehappy.WespentSaturday
mor ni
nghavi
ngmor ecrazysexthenwewent
outforbr
unch.Mydadcal l
edwhi l
ewewer e
eati
ng
Me:
baba
Dad:
Abongi
we.I
'
mjustchecki
ngi
n
Il
aughed.SomeonewasMi
ssi
ngmeal
ready
andIonlyl
efty
ester
day
Me:
I'
m wel
lbabaandhowar
eyou?
Him:I
'm wel
ltoo.Yourmot
heri
sher
e,shewas
hopi
ngtoseey ou
Me:
wel
ltheni
tsagoodt
hingI
'
m notar
ound
Him:youknowatsomepointI
'
m goi
ngt
odi
e
andshewill
beal
lyouhav
e
Me:
don'
tspeakl
i
ket
hatbaba.
Hi
m:i
tst
het
rut
h.Shewant
stot
alkt
oyou
Me:
byebaba.Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
Hesi ghed,
IknewIwasbr eaki
nghisheartbut
heneedst oacceptthatI
'
m nevergoingtobuil
d
arelati
onshi
pwiththatwoman.Ev er
.Isuddenl
y
l
ostmyappet it
esoIwasj ustpl
ayingwithmy
foodnow
Li
:yourmom i
sst
il
lreachi
ngout
?
Inod
Hi
m:sheneedst
orel
axnow.Herput
ti
ng
pr
essureonyouwon'
tmakey
ouf
orget20y
ear
s
wi
thoutherj
ustl
i
kethat
Me: i
tsnotevenaboutthe20year
s,i
tsaboutthe
l
iesthatfol
lowed.Whygothroughsomuchj ust
tohurtmewher easmydadwasal waysgoing
totel
lmet hetr
uth.Ihat
eherLimil
e.Iser
iousl
y
do.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*29*
"
Lety
ourpastmakey
oubet
ternotbi
tt
er.
"
Beingbackatwor kmeantIwasbackt obeing
annoy edbythi
sAJguy .Theguywoul dn'
tstop
comi ngatmewi t
hhisremarks,compl i
ments
thatIfoundextr
emelyannoyi
ngandwor seof
allhehadthecheesiestpi
ckuplines.It
slunch
ti
meandher ehei sagain
AJ:
doy
ouhat
emeAbongi
we?
Me:
ifIsayy
eswi
l
lyougoaway
?
Hi
m:nah.I
'
m nev
ergoi
ngaway
.I'
m her
etost
ay
Me:myboyfr
iendwil
lbeaty
ouupy
azwena.
Awazi
ngyakt
shela
Helaughed,hehadanicelaughyenaandhe
wasattr
activ
enotthatIwasattr
actedtohi
m
buthewasni cet
olookatifhewasn'tt
alki
ng
andannoyingme
Him:soyouhaveaboy f
ri
end?That'
snice.
WhereishebecauseIhaven'
tseenhi
m around
here
Me:
hei
sinJo'
bur
g
Hi
m: hmmm soheist
her
easonbehi
ndt
her
ed
markonyourneck
Shi
t!IthoughIhadthat
'scovereduppr
ettywel
l
wit
ht heli
ghtscar
fI'
m weari
ng.Mycheeks
i
nstantl
yheatedupasIadjustedmyscarfand
cl
earedmyt hroat
Hi
m:hei
sal
uckyguy
,Ihopeheknowst
hat
Me:
hedoes.Ar
eyougoi
ngt
oleav
emeal
one
now?
Heshookhi sheadwhi lesmil
i
ngsli
ghtl
y
reveal
inghisdimples.Hehadsuchafamil
iar
facebutIknowf orsurethatI
'v
enevermethi
m
beforelastweek
Hi
m:thet
hingisI'
mintoy
ouandI'
m wil
li
ngt
o
gi
vey
ourboyfr
iendarunforhi
smoney
.
NowIlaughed.I
tsgoodtohavedr
eamsy az,
youknowwishfult
hinki
ngandwhatnot
.
Dreamsaregood
Me:
youwi
l
ldi
eifIev
ent
ell
him abouty
ou
Hi
m:soy
ouar
eal
readykeepi
ngusasecr
et?
Me:ther
eisnousAJ,geti
tthroughyourhead
bef
oreIrepor
tyout
oHRf orharassment
Iwasnowseri
ouslyannoyedwithhi
m andhe
pickedi
tupr
atherqui
cklyjudgi
ngbyhowhe
l
eanedbackonhischairandrai
sedhishandsi
n
theair
Him:OKOKI '
m sor
ry.Ij
ustl
i
kejoki
ngaround.
That
'si
t.IguessIt
ookittof
arnow.I'
m sor
ry
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouknow
Him:OKletmegetadoov er
.I'
l
lst
optryi
ngso
hardandjustbeme.May
bewemi ghtendup
bei
ngfri
ends
Me:
Idoubti
t.Ial
readyhav
eenoughf
ri
ends
Itookmybot tl
edwat erandheadedbackt omy
offi
ce.Ihadasessi onwi thoneoft hetruck
driv
ersf r
om MMZee, hejustrecoveredf r
om a
horri
fi
cacci dentandheneededar epor tfr
om
mebef oret heycanlethim backbehi ndthe
wheel.Af t
erthatsession,Iwasreadyt ogo
home.Ical l
edmysi st ert
hemomentIgothome,
Ihadbr oughtpizzaandf ri
edchickensoI
wasn'tgoingt ocook.Lunathianswer edont he
thi
rdring
Luna:
heysi
s
Me:
youngone.Howar
eyou?
Her
:I'
m good,schooli
sstr
essful
andLukhany a
i
salwaysannoyingme.Ican'
twaitunt
ilIf
ini
sh
matr
icandleavethi
shouse
Il
aughed,shealwayshassomethingto
complai
naboutespecial
l
ywheni tcomest o
Lukhany
a.Ithi
nkhei sasweet
hear tbuthe
dri
vesLunathi
crazy
Me:
Imi
ssy
ouy
az.Whenar
eyouv
isi
ti
ngme?
Her:holi
daysmaybetheny
oucantakeme
shopping.Lazsay
syouworknow
Me: I
'
llt
akeyoushoppi
ngdon'twor
ry.How'
s
yourdadandhiski
dneyissues?
Her
:dad'
sfi
ne.Him andmom ar
ejustf
ight
inga
l
otl
atel
y.Most
lyaboutyou
Me:
aboutme?Whatdi
dIdo?
Her
:Idon'
tknowthedetai
l
sbutdadkeeps
t
ell
i
ngmom t oapol
ogi
zetoyouforsomet
hing
Me:
ohwel
lIwasj
ustchecki
ngony
ouy
oung
one.Not
hingmaj
or
Her
:thankssi
s.Lov
eyouby
e
Me:
lov
eyout
oo.By
e
Myr elati
onshi pwi thmysi bli
ngswasget ti
ng
strongerwi theachpassi ngdaybutobv i
ouslyit
willnev erbeper fectwhileIst il
lhat etheir
mot herandj udgi ngbywhatLunat hi justsaid,
i
tsal socausi ngst rai
nonYol andaandLubanzi '
s
relationship.Icr awledont hecouchwi thmy
plateofpi zza,twopi ecesofchi ckenanda
glassoff antagr apeandwat chedTVwhi chwas
quitebor ingmi ghtIadd.Iwaswi thLi j
ust
yester daybutal r
eadyImi sshi m somuch.
Ther ei sjustsomet hi
ngaboutbei ngar oundhim
thatmakesmecompl eteandr i
ghtnowIwas
feelingl i
kemyl ifewasmi ssingsomet hi
ng.
Ther ehast obemor etoliket hant his.I
wat chedSkeem Saam t hencal ledLwakhoasi t
ended
Lwakho:
heybuddy
Me:
heyImi
ssy
ou
Him:Imissyoutoo.Wer
eall
yshoul
dhookup
soon.Idon'
tknowwhenbutsoon
Me:
Iagr
ee.How'
syourbr
other
?
Idon'
tevenknowwhyIaskedbutIguess
curi
osi
tygott
hebet
terofme.Hewasbeat en
uppret
tybadl
y
Him: heisr
ecover
ing.Thingsar
esoawkwar
d
becauseofallt
heliesthathespunt
omy
parents.
Ser
veshimri
ght
.If
oroneknowt
hatI
'
m done
wit
hthatboy
Me:ohwel
lhehadi
tcoming.Howar
eyouand
Hai
l
ey?Sti
l
lgoi
ngst
rong?
Icanhearhi
m chuckleandIl
aughsoft
lyaswell
.
ForaslongasI'
veknownLwakhohehasbeen
witht
hatwhit
egirlofhi
s.Shei
scrazyandthey
fi
ghtli
kecr azy,butt
heymakeupal lthet
ime.
Kindali
keShaunandLi yana.Liy
ana!That'
s
anothersoul t
hatImissl
ikecrazy.Goshl
ifei
s
real
lygett
ingint hewayformer i
ghtnow.
Hi
m:wear
ehappyand3mont
hspr
egnant
Me:what
?!OhmygoshI'
m sohappyf
ory
ou
buddy
.Youar
esosecr
eti
ve.
Hel aughsagain.Aaahmanthat
'
soneperson
thatdeserv
esal lt
hehappi
nessi
ntheworl
dhey.
Lwakhoi sgoingtomakeanamazingdadthat
's
forsure
Him:l
olIhadtokeepi
tinunti
lnow.I
'm happy
Abongsyhoandsoscaredatthesamet i
me.I
wanttobesuper
manformyki dyouknow
Me:ar
gmanyouwil
lbe.Wowcan'tbel
i
eveyou
ar
egoingt
obeadad.Thi
sisawesomestuf
f
Idon'
tknowwhybutsuddenl
yIthoughtofmy
ki
dwithAver
y,howheorshewoul dberi
ght
nowhadInotgonethr
oughwiththeabort
ion.
AftermycallwithLwakhoIwassuddenl ydown
i
nt hedumps, Iwashappyf orhi
m butatthe
samet i
meIcoul dn'
thelpbutwonder.Mybae
didn'
tcal
l methatnight,ofwhi
chI'
m glad
becauseIknowIwoul dn'
thavebeengood
company .ThenextdayIwokeupt oat extf
rom
him
FROM:
Mine
GOODMORNINGBEAUTI
FUL.IMI
SSYOU,
I
LOVEYOUANDIHOPEYOUHAVEADAYAS
AMAZINGASYOUARE

Icoul
dn'
thelpbutsmileasIreadit
.Itooka
bath,
gotdressedthenheadedforthetaxistop.
WhenIgott oworkIhadbacktobacksessi ons
andIwassocaughtupwi thpaperworkthatI
wasworkingintomylunchhour.Therewasa
knockonthedoor
Me:
comei
n
Hewalkedindressedi
naslimfitnavypants,
cri
spwhiteshi
rt
,navywai
stcoat,brownbelt
andbrownshoes.Hewasn'twearinghi
susual
annoy
ingfacebutthesmi
lewiththedimples
wasvisi
ble
AJ:
heyIcomei
npeace
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng
Him:
Ididn'
tseeyouatt
hedini
ngareasoIj
ust
cameintochecki
fyouarei
ntoday
Me:
asy
oucansee,
I'
m busyso.
..
Hi
m:Abongi
wecanwet
alkf
orasecond
Icl
osedthefi
l
eIwaswor ki
ngonashesat
opposi
teme.Iusedthi
sti
metoreal
lytakea
goodlookatt
heguy.Hewasreal
lygood
l
ooking
Him:Iknowy ouandIstart
edof fonthewr ong
footandthat
'sal
lmyf aul
t.Icanbeal it
tleext
ra
sometimesandforthatIapologize.I
'
dr eal
ly
l
i
keust
obef
ri
ends
Me:f
ri
ends?Soyouarenol
ongert
ryi
ngt
ogi
ve
myboyf
ri
endarunforhi
smoney?
Hel
aughsj
ustal
i
ttl
eandIf
indmy
sel
fsmi
l
ing
Hi
m:lol
youdidsayhewouldbeatmeupso
t
hati
deaisl
onggone.Sofr
iends?
Me:wecantr
yt obefri
endsIguessbutt
he
momentyoucrosstheli
ne,I
'
m putt
inganend
t
othatf
ri
endship
Hi
m:Iwon'
tcr
osst
hel
i
ne,
Ipr
omi
se
Me:
alr
ightcool
then
Idon'tknowwhatI '
m doi
ngwithstar
ti
nga
fr
iendshipwiththi
sguybecauseIknowLi won'
t
approv eofi
tandI'
m notgoi
ngt okeepita
secret.OnWednesdayIhadtobei nDurbanfor
somet r
aini
ngcoursesowhenitwasov er
,I
decidedtocallYol
anda.
Yol
anda:
Abongi
wet
hisi
sasur
pri
se
Me:areyoubusy
?I'
minDur
banf
ort
hedayand
Iwantustomeetup
Her:
Icanmov et
hingsar
ound.Whendoy
ou
wanttomeetup?
Me:i
nanhourorso.Icoul
dcomet
oyour
of
fi
ces
Her
:al
ri
ghtseey
out
hen
Iletoutasi ghafterIhungup.Iwasdone
holdingthisgrudgeagai nstthiswoman.I '
ve
startedanewchapt erinmyl ifesobaggageof
thepastneedst obel etgoof fandIneedt o
mov eon.WhenIgott otheof fi
ces,Iwas
directedtotheCEO' sofficeandt hereshewas,I
almosthat ehowbeaut i
fulshel ooks,i
tannoys
meact ual
ly
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*30*
"
TodayIdecidedtofor
givey
ou.Notbecause
y
ouapologizedorbecauseyouacknowl edged
t
hepainthatyoucausedme, butbecausemy
soul
deser
vespeace.
"
Yol
anda:
Abongi
wet
hisi
sani
cesur
pri
se
Iwaswalki
ngtowardsherdeskandpul
l
edt
he
chai
rbackthensatdown
Her
:canIof
fery
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
inkoreat
?
Me:
wat
erwi
l
lbej
ustf
ine
Shepi ckedupherphone, requestedthewat er
thenagai nwef oundourselvessit
ti
nginsilence.
Iquest i
onedwhyIhadcomeher e,wasthis
evenagoodi dea?WouldIev err
eall
yforgi
ve
her?Asi nreall
yforgi
veherandt reatherli
kemy
mot her?HowdoIev enstartinbuil
dinga
rel
ationshipwithherwhenshehasl i
edtome?
Her
:youwant
edt
omeetupsoI'm sur
eyou
hav
esomethi
ngt
ogetof
fyourchest
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
Me:Ij
ustwantt
oknowwhy.Whyli
etome?
Whylookf
orme,fi
ndmeandthenj
ustl
i
e?
Her:I
'
m sorryAbongi
we.Ireall
yam.IfIcould
gobackintimeandchanget hepastIwouldbut
Ican'
t.Iwantustomoveforward
Me:Idon'twantyourapologyYol
anda,Ir
eal
l
y
don'
t.Iwantreasons.Iwantexpl
anat
ions
Sheletoutasigh,Iwasn'
tevenemotional
this
ti
mear ound,
I'
m notangryanymorebutIcan't
mov eonwhileIhavethesequest
ionshanging
overmyhead
Her:Ili
edbecauseatt hetimeIdi dn'twanty ou
toforgi
veme, Ihaven'
tev enf orgivenmy selffor
theselfi
shmov eIpull
edal lt
hosey earsago.
Youar eagoodpersonAbongi we, somet hi
ng
youclearl
ygotfrom yourf at
herandnotme.I
knewy ourfat
herwouldt ellyout het rut
hand
youwoul dhatemeasmuchasIhat emy sel
ffor
whatIdidtoy ouguys
Me:
youar
etr
ulysel
fi
shy
ouknowt
hat
.
Her
:IknowbutnowI
'
mready
.Iknowwecan'
t
makeupf orl
ostti
mebutcanweatl eastt
ryto
beci
vil
witheachot herandmay beasti
megoes
bywecanbuildapr operrel
ati
onshi
pandy ou
canf
inditinyourhearttofor
giveme
Me:Ifor
gavey
oualongt i
meago.Notbecause
youdeser
vedi
tbutbecauseIdeser
vedpeacei
n
myli
fe
Againwesati nsi
l
ence.Inmymi ndIwas
questi
oningwhatmynextmov eshouldbe,
honestl
yIwasdonewi ththi
shat eandfi
ghti
ng
butatthesamet i
meIf ear
edletti
ngherinj
ust
forhertorej
ectmealloveragainli
keshedid
whenIwasababy
Her:doyour eal
l
yhav etogobackto
Empangenitoday ?Iwashopingmaybey
ou
coul
dhav edinnerwithus,sl
eepov
eratt
he
houseandy ouknowspendsomet imewith
yoursi
bli
ngs
I
treal
l
ysoundsl
i
keagoodi
dea,
I'
vemi
ssed
Lunathi
andLukhany
aandI
'
m sur
eSi
no
wouldn'
tgi
vememuchofahassl
e
Me:I
'm sur
eitwoul
dn'
tbemuchofani
ssue
wi
thmyboss.I'
dhavetogoshoppi
ngt
hough
si
nceIdon'
thaveanyt
hingwi
thme
Her
:doy
ouneedmoney
?
Doest hi
swomannotknowthatIam par
tofthe
workingclassnow?YesImi
ghtnotberi
chli
ke
heryetbutIcanaff
ordmyownbasicneeds
Me:
I'
ll
bef
ine.I
'
llseey
oul
ater
Her:
alri
ght.Thankyouforcomi
ngbyAbongi
we
andjustf
orev er
ythi
ng
Ismi l
ethennodasIgetup.ThemomentIexi t
thedoor,Iletoutasighanddoasi l
entprayer
thatthi
sisnotami stake.It
akeacabt o
Shaun'splace,Liyanaisther
eandt hereisno
wayI '
m spendingadayi nDurbanwithout
seeingmygi rl
,thatwoul dbeadisgrace
Li
yana:
woawar
emyey
esdecei
vi
ngme?
Weshar eahug,myowney esmustbe
deceiv
ingmewhenIspotababybump.Heeeh
thesetwothough.Sosecr
eti
ve
Me:
lol
don'
tyoudar
e.Andt
hen?
Sheplacesherhandoverherbel
lyandblushes
i
nstantl
y,shel
ookshappywiththatpregnancy
gl
ow.AaahmanI '
m goi
ngtohav etwonew
babi
esinmyl i
fe.Thi
sisamazing
Her:
itjusthappenedbabe.Pr
obabl
ymakeup
sexnje
Webur sti
ntol
aughter
.I'
vemissedher,Iwon'
t
evenli
e.Afri
endshipl
iket
hisi
sn'teasytofi
nd
norisi
teasytoforget
Me:pl
easechange,
wear
egoingshoppi
ngt
hen
l
unchbefor
eIgotomymother'
shouse
Her
:Yolanda'
shouse?WoawOKl
etmechange
t
henI'
l
lhearallabouti
t
Shechangesi ntoboy fri
endjeans,bl
ackblock
heelsandal oosewhi tetoptuckedinatthe
front
.Herweav ei
stiedi ntoaneatBunandI
mustadmi tt
hatmyf riendislooki
ngamazi ng.
Shedr i
vesust oGatewaywher eIbuytwo
outfi
ts,casual andformal forworktomorrow
thenwehav elunch.Itonl yhi
tsmewhenmy
phoner i
ngst hatIhav en'tspokentomyboo
today.
Me:
SthandwaSam
Li
:don'
tevenSt
handwaSam me,
youf
orgot
aboutme
Lolhesul
kssomucht
hisone.Al
way
swant
ing
tobeextr
alov
ed
Me:
Icoul
dnev
erf
orgetabouty
oubaby
Li
yanalooksatme, smi
l
esthenshakesher
headandIjuststi
ckmytongueoutather
.She
mustleaveusalone
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ouandI
'
mthi
nki
ngofcomi
ngt
o
seey
ousi
nceI
'
minDur
ban
Me:r
eal
l
y?I'
minDurbantoo,
rememberIhad
t
hatwor
kshopt
hingtoday
Hi
m: butIt
houghty
ou'dgobackhomet
oday
.
Soyouarehavi
ngdinnerwi
thme?
Me:
wellunl
essyouareupf ordi
nnerwit
hmy
mot
herandherf
amily
, Ican'
tdodinner
Him: youguysmadeup?I '
ll
comefordinnerat
Yolanda's.Imissy
outoomuchandi fIwasn't
caughtupwi thworkr
ightnowI'
dtakeyouto
ourplaceanddot heunthi
nkabl
etoyou
Mycheeksinst
antl
yheatupasmyclitt
ingl
es.
Thisguyandhi
sfoulmouthwil
lhav
emy
panti
eswetasfuckatt
hemostawkwar dti
mes
Me:
lol
goodby
eLi
mil
e
Hi
m:l
olIl
ovey
oubaby
Me:
Ilov
eyoumor
e
Ihangupandsmi
l
easIpl
acemyphoneont
he
t
abl
e.Li
yanai
sst
il
lst
ari
ngatmewi
thasmi
l
e
Li
yana:
itssogoodt
oseeyout
hishappy
mngani
.Sotell
meabouty
ourmother
Inarr
ateital
ltoherandshei
sasskepti
cal
aboutitasanynormalper
sonbutatl
eastIwi
l
l
knowIt r
ied.
Her
:aslongassheknowsthati
fshehur
tsy
ou,
weareall
comingforher
.
Me:
lol
sheknowsbabe.SoImetaguy
Shear
cheshereyebrowandIbr eaki
nto
l
aught
er.Asi
fI'
dev ercheatonLimil
e,Il
ovehi
m
toomuchandIdon'thaveadeathwish
Her
:hai
don'
tl
augh.St
artt
alki
ng
Me:l
olhewant
sfri
endship.Heworksatt
he
l
egal
depar
tmentatwork.Niceguy
Her:heeehaslongasyoukeepi
nmi
ndt
hat
yourmani spsycho.
Me:
itsal
li
nnocentLi
yana.I
'
m bor
edt
hatsi
de
anyway,
allIdoi
swork,
chur
chandchi
l
lwi
thmy
dad.Onefr
iendwon'
tdomeanyhar
m
Her
:justdon'
thi
dehi
mfr
om Li
.Youknowhow
hegets
Goshasi fIdon'tknowhowmyboy fri
endis.
Aft
erlunchshedr opsmeoffatYolanda'
sand
l
uckil
yshei sn'thomebutLunathiandLukhanya
ar
e.Lunat hiscreamsthemomentsheseesme
Luna:Abongsohmywor
dIt
houghtmom was
l
ying
Me:
lol
shet
oldy
oual
ready
?
Her:wel
lsheisbey
ondexci
tedaboutal
lthi
sso
yeahshedid
Weshar eahugandwal ktowardsthespare
room t
hathasbeenpr eparedforme, I
'mfeeli
ng
sweatyandstickybecauseoftheDur banheat
soItakeashowert henputondeni m short
s
andat opIboughttogetherwit
hsl i
ppersIf
ound
i
nt heroom.IfindLukhanyawat chi
ngTVand
j
oinhi
m
Me:
Luksnt
wanay
am
Luks:
lol
yousoundl
i
keaboy
Me:l
olonl
yyouwoul
dsayt
hat
.Howar
eyou?
How'
sschool
?
Hi
m: Idr
ewaf ami
l
ypi
ctur
eandputy
oui
nit
.
Wanttosee?
Heranof fbeforeIgotachancetorespond.
Lat
erthatev eni
ngwehadaf amil
ydinner
,Li
wastheret oo,l
ookinghandsomeinhiswork
cl
othes.GoshhowIwi shIcouldgohomewi t
h
hi
m afterthisdi
nnerbutIcan't
Banzi
:I'
mreal
l
yhappythatyouar
ehere
Abongi
we.Ourfami
l
yfeelscompl
etewit
hyou
i
nit
Laz:y
eahI
'm gl
adt
oothaty
ouandmom ar
e
worki
ngoneachot
her
Yol
andagl
ancesatme,
shesmi
l
eswar
mlyandI
smilebackasLi mil
e'
sgr absontomyt hi
gh
underthetable.Notinasexualwaybutina
reassur
ingway .Thedinnerisamazi
ngandLi
sayshisgoodby es,
obv i
ouslyIwal
khim out.I
'm
22not16soIhav etogetmyki ssgoodnight.
Wechi l
linthecar
Li
:I
'm sopr
oudofy
ou
Ismil
ethenrestmyheadonhi
sshoul
der
.I'
ve
missedbei
nginhisar
ms
Me:
Imadeaf
ri
endatwor
k
Hi
m: t
hat
'smygi
rl
.It
oldy
out
oputy
our
sel
fout
t
here
Igi
ggl
ethenhi
thi
schestpl
ayf
ull
y
Me:I
'mjusthopi
ngy
ouwon'
tputanendt
othe
f
ri
endshi
p
Hi
m: hawbabyI
'
m notcont
rol
l
ing.Youknow
t
his
Me:
itsaguy
.Hi
snamei
sAJDl
ami
niandI
sweari
tsj
ustf
ri
endshi
p
Hi
m:ohIknowAJ
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*31*
"
Honest
yist
hehi
ghestf
orm ofi
nti
macy
."
Iwasleftdumbst
ruck,t
heworl
dhonestl
ycan'
t
bethatsmall
.HayiIr
efuset
obeli
evethat
shame.Noway
Li
:Iwon'tsaywegrewuptoget
herbutwesort
ofdid.RememberwhenyouwereinPEandone
oftheladi
eswhohelpmamaaroundthehouse
i
saunt i
eSno?
Me:
yesIr
ememberaunt
ieSno
Him:wellsheisAJ'smot her
.AJisalsoLoyi
so
andQhawe' shalfbr
otherbuttheydon'
thav
ea
rel
ati
onship.Atall
Me:yourfamil
yist
oomuchbr uh.Ican'
t
comprehendanyofthi
sinf
ormati
on.It'
ssmal
l
andbigatthesametime
Helaughst henpull
smecl oser,Ihonestlycan'
t
waitforustostartourli
vestogether,f
ormet o
j
ustgett hr
oughallthedramasur roundingmy
l
ife,
getmydadt obeinast abl
eenv ir
onment
fi
nancial
lythenactual
lybranchoutonmyown.
We'vebeennot hi
ngbutpat i
entwitheachot her,
ther
ei snojudgmentbetweenus, j
ustloveatits
best
Him:Ireal
l
yhatethatI
'
m notgoi
ngt
osl
eep
nextt
oy outoday
Me:Ihat
eitt
oobabebutIhav
etoatl
eastt
ry
wi
thmymot hery
ouknow
Him:IknowloveandI '
mr eal
lypr
oudofyouf
or
t
akingthefi
rststepandI'mlovi
ngthewoman
youaretur
ningintoSthandwaSam.
Iblush,
sometimesweneedt heencouragi
ng
wor dsf
rom ourl
overs,
thatheactuall
yseesthe
changesyouaregoingthroughinadvancing
yoursel
f.I
tsnotseeki
ngpraisebutratherhi
m
showi ngthatdespitethatIal r
eadyhavey ou,I
stil
ltakethet i
met onoticey ou.Aft
er30mi nsof
kissingandf ooli
ngaroundi nt hecar
,hehadt o
l
eav eandIwentbacki ntot hehousewi t
ha
happyhear t.Everyonewasst i
lli
nthelounge
wat chingTVsoi twaski ndofawkwar df orme
towal kinafterbeingoutsidewi thaguy
Banzi
:comet
hissi
deAbongi
we
Iwalkedi nt
ot hel ounge, wewat chedmov i
es
unti
llate.Justlaughi ngandt alki
nglikea
normal family
, Ireall
ywast ryingshameandi t
fel
tgood.If el
tl i
keal oadhadbeenl ift
edoffmy
shouldersandI '
l
l fi
nallyhavewhatI '
vebeen
missing
Laz:
soy
ouar
eleav
ingt
omor
row?
Me:
Ihav
etobr
o.Ihav
ewor
k
Banzi:
andLimi
le?Howar
eyouguy
smaki
ng
thatwork?Hei
salway
str
avel
i
ng
Isi
gh,
Idon'
tl
ikedi
scussi
ngmyr
elat
ionshi
p
becauseitdoesn'
tmakesensetosomeoneon
theoutsi
dethatI'
m dat
ingthi
sguybutwe
hardl
yspendt i
metogetherbuti
tmakessense
tous
Me:
wear
emaki
ngi
twor
k
Hereadsmyt oneprett
ywellbecausehej ust
nodsanddr opsit.Cl
osertomidnight
,I'
mi nbed
andreadytopassout .Honestl
yI'
m drai
nedand
Ij
usttextbaeandsl eep.NextdayI'
m wokenby
qui
teearlybyYolanda,Ithi
nkthesunisn'teven
outyet
Yol
anda:
Lazol
awi
l
ldr
ivey
out
owor
kat6:
30am
Me:
Icant
aket
axi
s,i
t'
sfi
ner
eal
l
y
Her
:nonsense.Hedoesn'
thavecl
assesunt
il
t
heaft
ernoonsohewi l
lbebackint
ime.
Igetoutofbed,showert hengetdressed,I
deci
detoleavemyout f
it
sf r
om yesterdayhere
andthetoi
let
ries.Iwil
lbemakingf requent
vi
sit
shereafterallsoIdon'twanttobecar r
ying
thi
ngsal
lthet
ime.I'
m downstai
rsby6:
15am
andLunat
hiandLazolaar
ealsointheki
tchen
Me:
mor
ningguy
s
Luna:
mor
ningsi
s
Laz:
your
eady
?
Me:
yep
Isaymygoodby estomysist
er,mymother
comesdownstairswit
hLubanziasI
'
m aboutto
l
eave.IhugLubanzi
,heissuchanamazing
manandIhopeYol andawon'tf
ucki
tupwith
thi
sone
Banzi
:don'
tbeast
ranger
Ismil
e,hei
ssmil
ingt
ooandhonest
lyIj
ust
wanttohughi
m agai
n.Hei
ssuchagenuine
guy
Me:
I'
ll
trynott
obe
NowI'
m st
andi
ngt
herel
ooki
ngatYol
anda
awkwar
dly
,dowehug?Ar
ewetherey
etor
shoul
dwej
ustsaygoodby
eandbeonourway
Yol
anda:
thanky
ouf
orcomi
ngov
er
Me:
I'
m gl
adIdi
d
Weshar eabrief2secondhugandI'
m outof
thathouse.Steponehadbeencov eredandit
canonl ybeuphi l
lfr
om nowonwards.I
managedt ogettowor kear
ly,
Ior
dered
breakfastfrom wimpyandwhenitsdeli
ver
ed,I
digin.I'
m star
v i
ng.
AJ:
heyf
ri
end
Heisatmydoorbeforeof
fi
cehour
shaveev
en
commencedbutforonceIdon'
tmi
ndsoI
i
ndicat
eforhi
mtocomei nandhedoes
Me:
youar
eear
ly
Hel
aughs
Hi
m: andsoar eyout
houghorar
eyoumaki
ng
upforyest
erday?
Me:
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
.I'
m madaty
ouact
ual
l
y
Hef
rownst
hensmi
l
esagai
n
Hi
m:l
olhet
oldy
ou?
Me:goshIcan'
tbel
iev
eyoutwo.Al
lthi
sti
meI
t
houghtyouwerecomingatmewit
hbad
i
ntent
ions
Hi
m:loly
ourtrusti
ssuesar
ealarming.Your
mani
sagoodguy ,al
waysl
ookingoutforyoui
n
t
hebestofsi
tuati
ons
Me:
hei
scont
rol
l
ing
Him:nahther
eisahugedifferencebetween
whatLimil
edidandacontroll
i
ngman.Hei s
prot
ecti
venotcont
rol
l
ing.Thekeyi stoknow
thedi
ffer
ence
Irol
lmyey
es,Icanmakemyownf r
iends
kodwaguy
s.YesI'
m ant
isoci
albutI
'm nott
hat
bad
Me:
sot
hisf
ri
endshi
pisf
ake?
Hi
m:notatal
l
.Hedi
dn'
taskmet
obey
our
f
ri
end,heaskedmet ojustl
ookoutf
oryou.I
'
m
y
ourfri
endbecauseIwantto.St
opover
t
hinki
ngitandj
ustrel
ax.
Af t
erwat chingmeeat ,talki
ngnonsenseand
j
ustget t
ingt oknoweachot herabi t
,hel eaves
met ost ar tmyday .AfterIhadwor kedf ora
yearandahal fIhav emanagedt osav eup
enoughmoneyf orr enov ati
onsformyf ather's
house.Whent hehousehasbeencompl eted,it
s
transformedf rom at wobedr oom houset oa5
bedroom housewi th3bat hrooms, dini
ngar ea
andabr andnewki tchen.Seei ngthelookonhi s
facewhenhesawt hef inalproductwasal l
wor t
hi t,Ilovet hismanmor ethanl i
feit
sel fand
I'
mj ustgr ateful thatGodchosehi mt obemy
father,ourst ruggl eshav ebeenwor t
hit
becausel ookingathi m nowenj oyingthef ruit
s
ofmyl abor ,
Iknowhei spr oudofme
Dad:
thi
shousei
stoobi
gforj
ustmet
hough
Me:
I'
m al
soher
ebaba
Helooksatmewithoneey
ebr
owcockedand
al
readyIknowwhat'
scomi
ngmyway
Him:youarenotgoingt
obehereforl
ong.I
knowthatHadebeboyisal
readypl
anni
ngto
takey
ouawayf rom me
Igiggl
e,mydadhasav er
yuniquerel
ati
onshi
p
withLimi
le.Theypret
endnottoli
kemeeach
otherwhenI'm ar
oundbutIknowhel ov
eshim
andv i
ceversa
Me:Idon'tknowwhatyouar
et al
ki
ngaboutand
besi
desIdon'twanty
ouworkinganymoresoI'
l
l
j
ustfindsomeonetostaywi
thus.Tocl
eanand
stuf
f
Hi
m:y
ousee?Youar
eleav
ingme
Me:l
olIwon'
tleav
ey oudad,
Limi
l
eanduwi
l
l
j
ustmoveinherewit
hy ou
Him:what
?Inwhosehouse?Ungamane
uhambe
Iburstintolaughter,thismandoesn' tknow
whathewant s.Findingaper sonIcant rustto
staywithushasbeenami ssionbutev entuall
yI
foundal adynamedNt ombi .Shei sroughl ymy
dad'sageandnoI '
m nott r
yingtomat chmydad
upbutIst il
lwanthi mt ohav esomeonehi sage
totalktowhenI '
m notar oundorev enwhenI
am around.I t
smi dApr i
l,it
sFr i
dayandI 'm
spendingt heweekendatBae' spl
ace.Hef inal
ly
sett
leddowni nJo'bur g,nomor etravelingfor
him exceptifheiscomi ngtoseeme.Iwakeup
athome, showerandgetr eadythenmakemy
wayt otheki t
chen,mydadi sal r
eadyuphav i
ng
hisusual morningconv ersationswi t
h
maNt ombi
Me:
goodmor
ninggoodpeopl
e
Ikissmydad'scheek,I
'
mi nagr eatmood.My
Fri
daysarealwaysli
kethisbecauseofthe
thoughtofseei
ngmyper son
Dad:
mor
ningAbongi
we
Ntombi
:mor
ningsweet
ie.Yourbr
eakf
asti
sin
t
heoven
Me:
hast
heol
dmaneat
en?
Dad:
Icanheary
ouandI
'
m notol
d.I
'
m mat
ured
IlaughasIdi gi
nmybr eakfast
.DidImenti
on
thatmyawesomemanboughtmeacarf ormy
birt
hdaylastyear?Well y
our st
rul
ynowdr i
ves
anAudi A5thankst oLimile.Tookmeforevert
o
getusedt othefactthatIAbongiweDube
actual
lyhaveacarnow.
Me:ofcourseyouar
edad.Ihavetogetgoi
ng.
I'
l
lseeyouguysonSundaynightorMonday
aft
erwork
Dad:Sundayni
ghtAbongi
we.Youknowt
he
rul
es
Me:
yesdad.Iwasj
ustpul
l
ingy
ourl
eg
Mydr
ivetoworki
saneventf
ulone,I
'm pl
ayi
ng
RKel
l
y,I'
mtry
ingtogeti
ntothespi
ri
tofa
sexualweekendahead.Mydayatt heoffi
ceis
crazybusy,signi
ngreport
sandauthor
izi
ng
document sforemployeessobytheti
meI '
m
drivi
ngtotheai r
por
t,Ij
ustwantt
ogett o
Jo'burgandfallasl
eepinmyman'sarms
Li
:youl
ookexhaust
ed
Hejustpi
ckedmeupfr
om t
heai
rpor
tandwe
ar
edr i
vi
ngtohi
shouse
Me:
I'
m get
ti
ngamassager
ight
?Thensl
eep
Him:wel
lIhadpl
ansforusbuti
fsl
eepiswhat
youwantthenwecandothatmyangel
Me:
youhadpl
ans?Whatpl
ans?
Hi
m:not
hingmaj
or.I
'
llpusht
hem t
otomor
row
Me:
alr
ightl
ove
Iclosemyey esasameansofj ustrel
axingbutI
musthav efallenasl
eepbecausewhenIopen
them again,heiscarr
yingmet obed.Il
ookat
him, smi
lethenclosethem again.Imusthave
beenr eal
l
yex haustedbecausewhenIwokeup,
hehadhi sarmt i
ghtlywrappedaroundme,I
wasnakedbecauseIf eltt
heheatofhisski
n
againstmine.Itri
edremov i
nghisarmfrom
aroundmeandhegr oaned
Li
:uy
aphi
?
Me:
mor
ningt
oyout
oo
Hepl
acedakissonmyneckcausi
ngmet
o
gi
ggl
eli
keateenager
Hi
m:mor
ningbaby
Me:
sukasoIcangetoutofbed
Hi
m:whydoy
ouwantt
oleav
eme?
Me:
Ineedt
heBat
hroom Li
mil
ehaw
Ihi
thim pl
ayf
ull
yandher eleasedhishold.I
mademywayt othebat
hroom, washedmyf ace,
ri
nsedmymout hthenwentbackt othe
bedroom.Hewasnowsi tti
ngup, looki
ngever
sosexywithhi
sbigeyes,thickpinkli
psandhis
j
ustwokeupface.Iwantednot
hingmor
ethan
t
ocuddleupwithhimtoday.
Me:
yousai
dwehav
epl
anst
oday
Hi
m:y
ouknowI
'
m notl
i
keev
eryot
herguyr
ight
?
Me:
yeahy
ouar
ecr
azy
Him:lol
yibaseri
ousmahnbaby .JonganehI'
ve
beenthi
nkingwe'vebeentogetherfor4year
s
now,we'vebeenselfl
essi
nt he4yearsand
we'vemadet hepeopl
earoundushappyand
proudri
ght?
Inod, heisontosomething.Mydadbasi call
y
alr
eadywant smeoutt hehouse, hewon'tsayit
though.Thatmanl ovemet obitsandmy
rel
ati
onshi pwi
thmymot herisgoingwell
.She
hasn'tfuckedupsinceIdecidedtogiveusa
chanceandi nall
honestymypeopl ear
ehappy
Him:Iwantedtogoal
loutf
orthi
sbutwe'
ve
hadenoughdramainourl
iv
es.Il
oveyou,
you
knowIloveyouri
ght
?
Me:
andIl
ovey
oumor
e
Hechuckl
est
henshakeshi
shead
Hi
m:don'
tl
iet
oyour
sel
f.Il
ovey
oumor
e
Hereachesfort
hedr
awernexttohim whil
eIsi
t
upwithmybackagai
nsttheheadboard,
he
removessomethi
ngf
rom thedrawerandsit
s
onhislegsbet
weenmylegswithasmallboxin
hishand
Him:itsstil
lthesameonef rom 4yearsago.
Backt henIjustwantedy out omar ryme
becauseIdi dn'
twantany oneelset ohav eyou
butnow4y earslat
erIwanty outomar ryme
becauseIl oveyou,becauseIdon' twantt o
wakeupwi thoutyounextt omeev eragain,
becausey ouar emyonet r
uesourceof
happiness,Ihav enoreasont oevensmi l
eifyou
arenothappy .Iwanttot akecareofy ou
Abongi we,Iwanttolovey ou,pr
otecty ouand
beever yt
hingthatyouseeki nwhat evergiven
momentbecauseSt handwaSam y oudeserve
thewor ldserv edt oy ouonasi l
verplatt
er.4
yearsagoIdi dn' tdeser veyouandIt hankGod
everydaythaty ouwer estr
ongenought osayno
backt hen,ittakesst r
engthtorefusemar ri
age
i
nawor ldwher ebyev er
yoneseesi tasaneed.
4y earslater,
wi tht hesamer ingIasky ouagain
MaDubewam, wil
ly oumakemet hehappi est
mani nt heuni verseandbemywi fe?
AtthatmomentI 'm smi l
ingwithtearsrol
ling
downmycheeks, myhandshav ecoveredmy
mout handI '
mi nshock.Mymanhast obet he
mostr andom per sononear t
h,welit
erall
yj ust
wokeupaf ewmi nutesago, hehasn'twashed
hisfacenorhashebr ushedhisteeth.Ther eare
noclichédredr oses, anaudienceorev enaone
kneegest urebutwear ejustchil
li
nginbedone
Saturdaymor ningandhedeci destopopt he
question.I'
l
lletyout ellmewhyIshoul dn'tjust
sayy es,whyIshoul dn'tloveamant hatisso
authenti
c,sobeautif
ul andsocarefr
eeand
l
ov i
ng.Inodmyheadr epeatedlyashesli
psthe
ri
ngont omyf ingerthenplacesalongkisson
myf oreheadbeforeusinghisthumbt owipemy
tears.
Hi
m:y
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul
Ismi
lethr
oughthet
ears,
Ican'tspeakri
ghtnow
soIj
ustwrapmyarmsaroundhi sneckandhe
l
aughsbeaut
if
ull
ywhil
eItryt
ocomposemy sel
f
Me:Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
eveyouspr
ungthisonme
t
hismorni
ng.Nowarni
ngwhatsoev
er
Wear
eouthavi
ngbreakfastandIst
il
lcan'
ttake
myey
esofthi
sri
ng.I'
m sti
lli
nshock,Iwon'
t
ev
enl
ie
Hi
m: t
hat
'swhyi
tscal
l
edasur
pri
sebaby
.I'
m
j
ustgl
adyousai
dyes
Me:
didy
out
hinkI
'
dsayno?
Hi
m:wel
lyouhav
etur
nedmedownbef
oreso
any
thi
ngi
spossi
ble
Me:
thatwasbackthen.Wehadbeentogether
f
oraminuteandl
ikeyousai
dyoudidn'
tdeserve
mebackthen
Hesmi l
esmaki ngmesmi l
easwel l.Wowl i
fe
reall
yi squi teajourney.Ineverthought ,
nev eri
n
ami lli
ony earsthatI'
dbewor ki
ng,engagedand
hav i
ngmydadl i
v i
nginabighousebef oreI
turned25.I tgoest oshowt hatyoucani nher i
ta
l
otf rom y ourpar entsbutonet hi
ngt hatyouwi l
l
hav et ofindony ourownisy ourdest i
nyandI '
m
slowl ystar t
ingtoseeme, i
t'
sst i
l
latadi stance
butt her oadi sslowlygett
ingsmoot her.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*32*
"Youdon'tf
indlov
e,i
tfindsyou.I
tsgotal
itt
le
bitt
odowi thdest
iny
,fateandwhat'
swrit
tenin
thestar
s."
Wespentmostofthedayj
ustenj
oyi
ngeach
ot
her
'scompany,
largeamount
sofpubl
ic
di
splayofaffecti
onandal otoffl
ir
ti
ngwi th
eachother.Weact uall
ytookthedayj ustto
dateeachother,wewat chedamov ie,hadlunch
andevenwenti ceskating.Alli
nallitwasan
amazingdayoutwi t
hmyf i
ancé.Yept hat
's
defi
nit
elygoingtotakesomeget ti
ngusedt o.
Whenwegott ohishouse, Iwasexhaust edand
evenmyf eetwereswol len.I
fIdidn'
tknow
bett
erI'
dhonest l
ythinkIwaspr egnanthey
Me:
Ifeell
ikecooki
ngf
ory
ou,
whatdoy
ouwant
t
ohaveforsupper?
Li:ar
eyousure?Youl
ookexhaust
edandi
t
reall
ywasalongday
Me:
Iwon'
tdi
e.Sowhatdoy
ouwantt
ohav
e?
I
'm al
readyi
ntheki
tchenri
nsi
ngveget
abl
esand
heisi
nt hel
oungewatchi
ngspor
tsnews
Hi
m: steak,
roast
edv
eggi
esandmashwi
th
mushroom sauce
Me:
alr
ightsoundseasyenough
Ipluggedmyphonei ntothespeaker sthatwer
e
i
nt hekitchenandcookedwhi leli
st eni
ngtothe
soundsofJohnLegend.That '
sal bum with
ordinar
ypeopl eandstaywithyou.Whent he
steakandv eggieswereintheov enandt he
potatoeswer eboil
i
ng,Isatdownont hecount
er
chairs,
myf eetcouldn'
ttakeitany more.I
wonderwhyI '
m sotir
edlatel
ybutt henagainI
knowIwor kmy sel
ftothebone
Li
:babe
Me:
yesl
ove.I
'm notcomi
ngt
oyousoy
ouhav
e
t
ocomehere
Wit
hinminut
eshewasnextt
ome,myonel
eg
onhist
highandhi
m gi
vi
ngmeafootr
ub
Hi
m:Iwantust
otr
yforababy
Me:
metoobutnotr
ightnow.Wear enot
mar
ri
edy
etandweliveindi
ff
erentprov
inces
Hi
m: I
'
vebeentel
li
ngyout
haty
oudon'tneedto
wor
kthough.Youcoul
dmovethi
ssi
deafterwe
getmarr
ied,
Igot
owor
kandy
out
akecar
eof
ourki
ds.
Me:I'
m st
il
lthi
nki
ngaboutit
.Wearenot
marri
edyetsocanwerevisi
tthi
sconv
ersat
ion
af
terwegetmar r
ied
Hi
m:buty
oudowantust
ohav
eki
dst
oget
her
Me:
yesIdo.Whenwear
emar
ri
edt
hough
Hecontinueswithhi
sfootr
ubandhebasi call
y
takesoverthecooki
ng,I
'
mr eal
lyt
iredaft
erthe
dayI'
vehadsoIgol aydown.I'
m wokenupby
myphoner i
ngi
ngandIanswerwithout
checki
ngt hecal
lerI
D
Me:
hmmm
Dad:don'
thmmm meAbongi
we.Whyar
eyou
sl
eeping?
Me:
Ihadal
ongdaybaba.
Hi
m:hmm sodi
dhemakei
tper
fect
?
Isl
owl
ysi
tupandr
ubmyey
es,
itsal
readydar
k
out
sidesoIknowI
'
vebeensl
eepi
ngf
orhour
s
Me:
didwhomakewhatper
fect
?
Hi
m:kant
idi
dn'
tLi
mil
epr
opose?
Me:
ohmywor
d.Youknew
Him:obv
iousl
yIknew,
heneedsmybl
essi
ng
befor
ehecandosuchthi
ngs
Me:andyoudidn'
ttel
lme?Notev
enahi
ntbaba?
Kant
iwhosefatherar
eyou?
Hi
m:haai
sukaIgavey
ouahi
t,y
ouwer
ejust
t
oosl
owtocatchi
t.
Wet alkforov er10mimsaboutt heproposal
,
aboutLiandwhet herIwantt omarr
yhim ornot.
Liwalksinwhi l
eI'
m sti
ll
ont hephonewithmy
dadandheaskst otal
ktohim soIgivehimt he
phonewhi leIheadt othebathroom.Icanfeela
sharppainonmyabdomenbutIpaynomi ndto
i
t.It
snoti ntenseanditjustcomesandgoes.
I'
m probablygoi ngtogoonmyper i
odssoon.I
pee, r
insemymout handwashmyf acethengo
outt othebedr oom, Lii
sstil
ltal
kingtomydad
soIgoi ntot
heki tchen,di
shupf orusandsi ti
n
frontoft heTVunderat hr
ow.I t
sachi l
ly
ev eni
ngany way .Iwashalfwayt hroughmy
foodwhenLi joinedme
Li
:l
oly
ourdadi
ssost
ressf
ul
Me:
lol
I'
m hi
sonl
ydaught
ersoi
tsexpect
edhey
If
linchedast
hepai
nhi
tmeagai
nandt
hist
ime
Linoticed
Hi
m:ar
eyouOK?
Me:y
eahI'l
lbef
ine.I
'
m pr
obabl
yaboutt
ogoon
myperi
ods.
Hi
m:ohOK
Aft
ereati
ngItookabath, dr
ank3painki
ll
ers,
woreasanit
arypadjustincasethengotinbed.
Idon'
tknowwhenhej oinedmebecausewhen
heshookme, Iwassti
lldrowsy
Hi
m:babey
ouar
ebl
eedi
ng
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:wakeupAbongi
we,
youar
ebl
eedi
ng
Igotof fthebedandnot icedthehuge
bloodstainont hebed, don'tgetmewr ongIwas
beyondembar rassedbutatt hesamet imeI
wasf r
eaki ngout.Myf l
owhasnev erbeenheavy,
evenaf tertheabortionmyper i
odshavealways
beennor malfl
ow.Li r
anmeabat hwhileI
remov edt hesheets, l
uckil
yhehadamat t
ress
coversot hemattressdidn'tgetstai
ned.
Hi
m:ar
eyoui
npai
n?
Ishookmyheadashehel
pedmegeti
ntot
he
batht
ub
Him:I
'mtaki
ngy
out
othehospi
tal
.Thi
sisn'
t
normal
Inodashewalksout
.Ihadbeensit
ti
ngi
nthe
batht
ubforov
er5minuteswhenthewat
er
turnedred.Myheartwasnowr aci
ng,thetears
wer efl
owingandIwasj ustinpanicmode.Igot
out,dri
edmy sel
fandwor eanotherpadwi th
underwearthenanotherpadwi thunderwear
overthat.It
ri
edcleani
ngt hebathtubbuthe
stoppedme
Him:let
'sgo.Wewill
sor
tal
loft
hiswhenwe
getback.I
'vegoty
ouOK.Don'
tpani
c
Me:Li
mil
eI'
m scar
ed.Thi
shasnev
erhappened
bef
ore
Hi
m: let'
sgo.I
'm sur
eit
snot
hingwor
th
st
ressingabout
Thedrivetothehospi
talwasaquietone,
when
wegott heIwasadmittedandthena
gynecologi
stwassenttomyr oom.She
i
ntroducedhersel
fasDrDrury
Dr:
wereyouawar
ethaty
ouwer
epr
egnant
Abongi
we?
Li
andIl
ookedateachot
her
.Pr
egnant
?Howi
s
thatpossi
blewher
east
her
ewer
enosi
gns.I
shookmyhead
Her
:youwere10weekspr
egnantbutitseems
asi
fthebabywasgrowi
nginthetubesinst
ead
oft
heuter
us
Li
:soshel
ostt
hebaby
?
Dr
:unfor
tunat
elyy
es.Thetubesbur
stt
hat
'
s
whyther
ewassomuchbl ood
Ihaddonel i
fesciencesi nhi
ghschool,Iknew
exactlywhatallofthismeant.Icanneverhave
chil
drenagainwhi chwaswhatcausedmet o
crythemost .Justearli
erthi
seveningwewer e
tal
kingaboutst ar
tingafamilyandnowi twil
lbe
nothingbutaf ant
asy
Li
:shhhbabywecanalway
str
yagai
nforababy.
Whenwear emar
ri
edjustl
i
kewehadori
ginal
l
y
pl
anned
Dr:unfor
tunat
elyMrHadebethatwon'
tbe
possibl
e.Thetear
ingoft
hetubesmeansthat
Mi
ssDubecannev
erhav
echi
l
drenagai
n
Li:
Idon'tbeli
evet hat.Mysist
erwast ol
dt hat
shehasahost i
lewombandcannev erhave
chil
drenandt woy earslat
ershegavebi rt
hto
twins.Medicalsciencehasnot hi
ngoverthe
powerofGod.Ir efusetobeli
evewhaty ouare
saying
Dr:host
il
ewombsanddamagedtubesare
tot
all
ydif
fer
entbutf
eel
freet
oseekasecond
opi
nion
Whenshel ef
t,wesatinsilence.Istaredatthe
engagementringasIslowlysliditoffmyf i
nger
andgaveittohim.Inst
eadoft akingit,he
l
ookedatmewi t
hconfusiononhi sf ace
Hi
m:andnow?
Me: y
ouwantaf amil
yLimil
e,youwantki
dsand
Ican'
tgi
veyouthat.Youdeservet
obewith
someonethatcangiveyouthat
Hi
m:Ichosey
ou.Iwanty
ou.Thatr
ingi
sn'
ton
yourfi
ngerbecauseIsawababymaking
fact
oryinyou,i
tsther
ebecauseIsawmyli
fe
part
nerinyou
Isi
ghedasIlookedattheri
ng,hewast
edno
ti
mei nsl
i
dingitbackonmyf i
ngert
henki
ssed
myringfi
ngerbeforepl
aci
ngakissonmylips
Him:wewil
lgett
hroughthi
sjustli
kewe'
ve
gott
ent
hroughever
ythi
ngelse.Toget
her
Ispent3day satthehospit
al,
gettingcleaned
upandst uf
fthenwhenIwasdi schargedIflew
backhome.Ihadmi ssedenoughwor kbutSi no
sti
lli
nsi
stedItaketherestoftheweekof f
.My
dadwasmyshoul dertocryonact ual
ly,hi
m and
MaNt ombiweretakinggoodcar eofmeand
Yolandaevencamet oseemeont heThursday.
Weshar edahug, alongint
ensehugandIj ust
cri
edalloveragai
n
Yol
anda:
shhhbabyi
tsal
lgoi
ngt
obeOK
Me:
hei
sgoi
ngt
oleav
eme.Iknowhewi
l
l.He
want
saf
ami
l
y
Her
:herwant
syouaswel
l
.Tr
usthi
m andhav
e
f
ait
h
Shebrokethehugthenki
ssedmyf orehead.I
wasgladshewasher ewi
thmer i
ghtnow.Li
hasbeencall
ingever
yhourtocheckonme, I
couldt
ell
thatasmuchashewast r
yingtobe
str
ongforme, hewasal
sohurti
ng
Yol
anda:
soher
eal
l
ypr
oposed
Shehadmyl ef
thandi
nherhandl
ooki
ngatmy
engagementri
ngasInodded
Her
:andy
ouwantt
ogetmar
ri
ed?Tohi
m
Me:
lol
yesmaIwantt
omar
ryhi
m.
Her
:Idon'
tknow.
Me:well
Idoknowandlucki
l
yheismarry
ingme
andnotyou.Whyar
en'
tyouanduncl
eLubanzi
marr
iedanyway?
Her
:exwi
fedoesn'
twantt
osi
gnt
hedi
vor
ce
paper
s
Sherollsherey
es.Wehardlyhavet heseki
ndof
conversati
onsbutwhenwedoIr eall
yenj
oy
them.Iguesshavingamot heri
sn'tsobad,I
can'
ttalktomydadaboutev ery
thingasmuch
aswehav eanopenrel
ati
onship
Me:
dot
heyhav
eki
dst
oget
her
?
Her
:nah,shejustwant
stospongeoffmyman
f
ortherestofherl
if
e.Uyandi
cabuki
sal
amfazi
Me:
lol
OKma,
youar
edr
amat
icatt
imes
Her
:mna?Ohdar
li
ngpl
ease
Ibursti
ntol aughter
.Shehadt oleavelaterthat
dayandIwasl eftwithdadandmaNt ombi .The
nextdaywhi leIwaswat chi
ngTV, mydadwas
i
nt hegardenandMaNt ombi wascleaning,
therewasaknockont hedoor .Iwasdr essedin
navyleggingsandal ooseskybl ueT-shirt
.I
openedthedoorandt herest
oodAJ
Me:
shoul
dn'
tyoubeatwor
k?
AJ:
heyt
oyout
oo
Me:
lol
sor
ry.Heycomei
n
Hefol
lowedmet othel
ounge,
Ifeltabit
under
dressedsincehewasinblackchinos,r
ed
andblackcheckedshir
tandagreycardigan
Me:
jui
ce?
Hi
m:y
espl
ease
Ipour
edjui
cei
ntot
woglassest
henwenttothe
l
ounge,gav
ehi
m hi
sthensatonthecouch
Hi
m:y
oul
ookwel
l
Me:
Ishoul
dbeatwor
k
Hi
m:y
ouwentt
hroughal
otAbongs
Ir
oll
myeyesthi
nki
ngabouthowIusedtohat
e
i
twhenLwakhocal
l
edmebyt hatname
Me:
itsnotl
i
keIknewIwaspr
egnantany
way
Hi
m:butst
il
lnj
e
Me:Iguessso.Whatdoesy
ourgi
rl
fr
iendsay
aboutyoubei
nghere?
Hel
aughswhi
l
etaki
nganot
hersi
pofhi
sjui
ce
Hi
m:whydoy
ougi
rl
sdot
hat
?
Me:
dowhat
?
I
'
m conf
used
Hi
m:whycan'ty
oujustaski
nastrai
ght
for
war
d
waywhet
herIhaveagir
lf
ri
endornot
Me:
OKdoy
ouhav
eagi
rl
fr
iend?
Heshakeshishead.Mxm hei
spr obabl
ya
pl
ayerthi
sone.That'
swhyhedoesn'thavea
gi
rl
fr
iend,hepr
obablyhasgi
rl
fr
iends
Hi
m:Ihav
eawi
fe.
WoawIdi
dn'
tseet
hatonecomi
ng
Me:
kant
ihowol
dar
eyoudude?
Him:I
'
m 27.Igotmarr
iedwhenIwas23.She
gotpr
egnantandImarri
edher
.Idi
dn'
twanther
t
ogot hroughwhatmymom wentt
hrough.I
wantedtomakeanhonestwomanoutofthe
motherofmychil
d
Me:soyoumar
ri
edherbecauseshewas
pr
egnant
Heshakeshishead.Forsomer easonI
'm
i
nter
estedi
nhisli
fe,it
sagr eatwaytodi
str
act
mysel
ffrom mydisasterf
il
ledli
fe
Him:Ilov
emywi feAbongi we, that'
swhyI
marri
edher.Ij
ustf eltli
kei
fI 'm manenought o
makeachi l
d,I
'm manenought otakeawife.
Wear emarri
edciv i
ll
y ,
I'
m onl ypayingl
obola
now.Watchingmymom st rugglingtorai
seme
asasingleparentjustmot i
v atedmenev erto
all
owthattohappent oanotherwomanatmy
expense
Me:
kant
iwher
eisy
ourdad?
Hi
m: mydaddi
edbefor
eIwasborn.Hisfami
l
y
r
eject
edme,wei
rdl
yenought
heyacceptedmy
olderSist
er,
Lut
hando.Sheisal
awyer
,recent
ly
relocat
edtoDurbanf
rom CapeTown.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*33*
"
Hisl
ovenev
erf
ail
s"
Wi t
hev erythinglifehast hrownatmeandhow
myat tempt satdeal i
ngwi tht hecur v eballshas
onlylastedf orjustat empor ar yper i
od, I
decidedt ogobackt ot hebasi cs.Itt ookmea
whiletor emembert hatIam t hedaught erofa
king.Sundaymor ningIwokeupbr ightandear ly
,
tookal ongr elaxingbat hthengotdr essedi na
blackbelowt hekneehi ghwai stshirt,cream
l
ongsl eev edbodysui tandnudebabyheel s.I
wasst il
lal earnerwal kerint heheel swor ldand
thelastthingIwanti stofallinchur ch.Li had
arri
vedlastni ghtbutwasst ay i
ngathi ssist er
's
place.Hewor r
iestoomucht hatone, t
hat'swhy
heisher e.Wehadagr eedtogot ochur ch
together,Ilovet hathei ssoopenmi ndedwhen
i
tcomest ochur chespeci all
ybecausehe
wasn'
trai
sedinareli
gioushome.Ical
lhi
m asI
havemybreakfast
,muesliwit
hdri
edfrui
tsand
yogur
t
Li
:l
oveofmyl
i
fe
Ibl
ushi
nst
ant
ly.That
'st
heef
fecthewi
l
lal
way
s
hav
eonme.
Me:
heyl
over
.Ar
eyouguy
sready
?
Hewasbringi
nghisnephewwi
th,
Anqobei
s
al
waysjoi
nedatthehipwit
hhi
suncl
ewhenhe
i
saround
Him: y
eahwear ej
ustf
ini
shi
ngwithour
breakfast.OhandAlwasaysyouarei
nvi
tedf
or
Sundayl unch
Me:
I'
m al
readyhav
ingl
unchwi
thmydad
Ihearhi
mtel
li
ngheri
nthebackgr
oundandI
l
aughatherr
eply
Hi
m:l
oly
ouhear
dherr
ight
?
Me:
lol
all
youHadebepeopl
ear
ebossybutOK
fi
ne.Idon'
twanttor
iskgett
ingfi
red.Pl
ease
don'
tbelate,
theser
vicest
artsat9
Him:
Iwon'
tbelate.Seeyoui
naf
ewmi
nut
es.
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul bytheway
Il
aughsof
tl
yasIshakemyhead
Me:
youhav
en'
tev
enseenme
Him:y
oualwaysl
ookbeautif
ult
houghsoI
knowtodayi
snoexcept
ion.Mcwaa
Ikisshim backt henpl acemyphoneont he
counterandf i
nishmybr eakf ast .Whendad
seest hatI'
m goi ngt ochur ch, heal sowant st
o
goanddr agsMaNt ombi aswel l.Luckil
yLi
arri
veswi thAlwa' sGLEsot her eisenough
space.Chur chwasev erythingIneededand
mor e.Weal way sf ocussomuchoff orgivi
ng
otherpeopl eandseeki ngf orgivenessf rom
othersbutwenev erspendenought i
meon
forgiv
ingour selves.Wet endt ot hinkput t
ingt
he
blameonour selv esi sbeingr esponsi bl
ebutas
qui
ckaswearet
oputitonourshoul
der
s,l
et'
s
beasqui
cki
nfor
giv
ingoursel
ves.
Dad:
Ihopey
out
wower
eli
steni
ngt
othepast
or
Me:
Iwasdad
Li
:Iwastoobutobv
iousl
yIdi
dn'
tqui
te
under
standi
t
Thishastobemydad' sfavori
tepar
t,explai
ning
thi
ngstopeople,br
eakingi
tdownunt il
aper son
underst
ands.Hejusthasapassionforgrowi ng
apersonsbrai
n,Isti
ll
saythismanshoul dhav e
beenateacher
Dad:
wher
edi
dhel
osey
ou?
Li
:atforgi
vi
ngy our
sel
f.Howdoesi
twork?DoI
l
ookinthemi r
rorandsaysor
rytomysel
f?I
honestl
ydon'
tunderst
andit
Dad:wit
hthingst
hatrel
atetoonesself
,we
oft
enmaket heassumptionthatt
heycome
natur
all
y.I
tcomesnaturall
ytolov
eyoursel
f,i
t
comesnat urall
ytoknowy ourworthandi t
comesnat urall
ytoknowwheny ouhavet o
for
givey ourself.Thatassumpt i
onisfalse,you
l
earnt olovey ourself
,youlearntoforgive
yourselfandt hekeyt oforgi
vingyourselfi
st o
knowt haty ouar enotperfect.
Li
:hmmm
Iwatchmyt wof avor
it
emenhav ethi
sdeep
conversati
on, Lii
sreall
yint
oitbecausehis
questi
onskeepcomi ngandy oucantellt
hathe
i
sn'tdoingitjusttoamusemydadbuther eal
l
y
doesseekt heknowl edge.Bytheti
meweget
home, theyspendanot her10minsinthecar
goingbackandf ort
h,honestl
yri
ghtnowI '
m
overit
Me:babayouguy
scancont
inuet
hisnextt
ime
youseehi
m
Dad:youar
esoi
mpat
ientbutf
ine.I
'
m hungr
y
anyway
Me:
I'
ll
seey
ouguy
slat
er
MydadshakesLi'shandandget
soff.Final
l
y
wearedriv
ingtotheZungumansi
on,Iknow
Anqobewon'tsayitbutwear
eall
pleasedthat
thecari
smov i
ngagain
Li
:Iwi
shIhadadadl
i
key
our
s
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:heisful
lofsomuchknowl
edgeand
wi
sdom t
oshareandhehasal
ltheanswer
s
Me:wel
lIwoul
dn'
ttakei
tthatf
arbuthei
sa
wi
seoldman
Anqobe:
mal
umemommyi
sAski
ngwher
ewe
ar
e
Li
:tel
lherwear
eal
mostt
her
e
Anqobe:
letmej
ustFaceTi
meher
YesAnqobeis9andownsaniPhone.WhenI
was9Ididn'
tevenhav
eaphonebuthi spar
ent
s
arel
oadedsoIguessi
tjustmakessense.
Whenwegett
othemansi
on,t
hetwi
nsar
eat
t
hedoort
hemomentwewalkin
Phi
we:
that
ha
Shehasherar msi ntheai
rwanti
ngmet otake
herandIdo, sheistoocutet
orejectandso
chubby.Alwawalkst owar
dsus,shegetsmore
beauti
fuleveryt
imeIseeherandhernat ur
al
l
ookalway sdoesitforme
Alwa:mysi
steri
nlaw.Putt
hatchi
l
ddownso
youcanhugmepr oper
ly
Me:
youknowshewon'
tagr
eet
oanyoft
hat
Wesi dehugasshel eadsust othelounge.I'
ve
l
ongf orgot
tenthatIwaswi t
ht wootherpeople
whenIgother ebecausenowI 'mint helounge
wit
hababyonmyl apandawi neglassi nmy
hand.I'
m notmuchofadr inkerbutIknowwhen
Icomet oAlwa'shouseImustj ustprepare
my sel
f.Sheandwi nearel
ikethisItelly
ou
Al
wa:
hav
eyouguy
sdeci
dedonadat
e?
Li
:no.Wej
ustgotengagedl
astweekend
Al
wa:so?Isayt
hesoonert
hebet
ter
.Pl
anni
nga
weddi
ngissost
ressf
ul.
Manqoba:
say
stheper
sonwhohadapl
anner
Hewal ksinwi thZonqobainhisarmsand
Li
mi leandAnqober ightbehi
ndhi m.Thisman
st
il
l scaresmej ustali
ttl
ebit
,hehast hatthi
ng
nj
eabouthi mthatcommandsr espectandit
s
asifheiscol dtowardseveryoneexcepthis
wif
e.Hepl acesapeckonherl ipsthentr
ies
gi
vinghert hebaby
Alwa:hay
ithat
'syourson,Ican'
tholdwineand
ababyatthesamet ime.Puthim onthefl
oor
andlethi
m walkaround
PeopleinLimi
le'
sli
fehavesuchdecent,well
str
ucturedandperf
ectli
vesandthenherewe
arenotknowingwhetherwearecomingor
going.Lunchi
sservedoutsi
dewhichI
appreciat
ebecauseofthefr
eshair
.I'
m enjoyi
ng
ever
ythi
ngaboutt
hisday,t
hef
oodandt
he
companyisj
ustamazing
Li
:ar
eyoust
il
lOK?
Heiswhi
sper
inginmyearwhil
ehisar
mi s
ar
oundmyshoulder
.Inodandgiv
ehim asmi
l
e
Me:
thi
sisamazi
ng
Alwa:
thechefr
eall
youtdi
dhi
mself.OKget
ti
ng
backtot
hewedding.Summerorspri
ng?
Li
:June
Al
wa:
wint
er?Awi
nterweddi
ng?Ar
eyoucr
azy
?
Li
:i
tdoesn'
traini
nwinterandwewantan
out
doorweddingandi
thibaby?
Me:
yesbutnoti
nJune.Junei
scol
d
Al
wa:
exact
ly
Manqoba: Li
sbal
iwam wordofadv
ice,
justbe
theguythatonl
ycomestopay.I
tmeansless
headachesfory
ou.Ipr
omiseyou
Alwahi t
shim ont
hechestandIl
augh,t
heyar
e
socut etoget
hert
heset
wo.Justperf
ect
balance
Me:hehastobethereforev
ery
thi
ng.Dr
ess
f
it
ti
ng,caket
ast
ing,decorpi
cki
ng.Ev
ery
thi
ng
Li
:hay
ibabydr
essf
it
ti
ng?Noway
Al
wa:
wewi
l
lsee
Aft
erlunchIt
hinkI'
mj ustbey
ondt i
psy
,I'
mf ul
l
butI'
m happy
.Ireal
lyhadagr eatt
imewithLi'
s
si
stersl
ashmyboss
Me:Al
wathanky
ouf
orhav
ingme.Thef
ood
wasamazi
ng
Shesmil
est
henopensherar
msf
orahugandI
gofori
t
Alwa:wear ef
amilysoifeveryouneedanythi
ng,
evenifi
tstotal
k,don'thesi
tat
etocall
.Evenif
thi
sbrotherofmineisn'tar
ound,I
'
m sti
ll
here
foryou
Inod,breakt hehugthenbri
efl
yhugherman
andsayourgoodby etotheki
ds.Thedriveto
mydad' shousei sahappyone.Justafewday s
agoIwasr eadytowalkawayfrom hi
m because
ofthemi scarri
agebutI'
m gl
adIdidn'
t.Heparks
astreetawayf rom t
hehousethenswitchesoff
theengine
Li
:Iwasthi
nki
ngalotaboutwhaty
ourdadsai
d,
aboutf
orgi
vi
ngyour
self
Me:
OK
Him:i
tgotmethi
nki
ng,di
dyouev
erf
orgi
ve
your
sel
ffort
heabor
ti
on?
Idon'trespond,
inst
eadIplaywi t
hmyf i
nger
sas
Ithi
nkbackt othatdar
kti
mei nmyl if
e.Iwasso
youngandst upi
dandIactuallythoughtIwas
doingther i
ghtt
hingbutt
heni ghtmaresthat
foll
owedwer eacleari
ndi
cationt hatIwasly
ing
tomy self
Me:
Idon'
tknow.Godi
spr
obabl
ypuni
shi
ngme
nowforwhatIdidbackt hen.That
'
swhyIcan'
t
hav
ekidsanymor e.Thatwassupposedt
obe
mykidandIkil
l
edhi m
Him: Godforgaveyoual ongtimeago
Sthandwasam, yououtofallpeopleknowt hat
ourPathsar epavedbeforewear eev enborn.
Yourdestinyissetandallyouhav etodoisget
toit
.Doy out hi
nkhady oukeptAv ery
'schil
d,we
wouldbeher etoday?
Honestl
yIdon'tknow.Ishr
ugmyshoul
der
sand
hecupsmyf ace,placesal
ongki
ssonmyli
ps
thenpul
lsback.
Him: f
orgivey
oursel
fAbongi
we.For
ceyour
sel
f
tofeelthepai
n,setyour
sel
ffr
eeandGodwil
l
setyouf r
eeaswell.
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*34*
"
Toget
heri
sawonder
ful
placet
obe.
"
Ihadgonethr
ought
hether
apysessi
onswi
th
Aver
y,Ihadpr
ayedmul
ti
pleti
mesfor
for
givenessandIhadhat edandpuni shed
my sel
fforsolongaftertheabor t
ionsowhat
mor ewasIsupposedt odo?Nowt hatIfi
nd
my sel
finthi
smazeofconf usion,Iunderstand
whatYolandameantwhenshesai dshewant ed
met ohateherasmuchasshehat edherself
becauseshewasn' tr
eadyf orthef or
givenessI
wasaboutt ogiveher.Shei ssti
ll
abet ter
personthanIam, shewal kedawayf rom her
chi
ldbutatleastshedidn'tkil
lherchild
Me:
Idon'
tdeser
vei
tLi
mil
e
Li:
babyevery
onedeservestobef
orgi
ven,
you
for
gaveyourmotherdi
dn'ty
ou?
Me:
yesbut
Hi
m:nobut
.Whydi
dyouf
orgi
veher
?
Isi
ghasIf eel
onetearrol
ldownmycheek.Thi
s
i
sharderthanitsmeanttobe,i
twasnev
er
supposedtobeaboutme
Me:
becausei
twasn'
tmypl
acet
ojudgeher
Him:i
tsnoty
ourpl acetopuni
shyoursel
fei
ther
.
Justf
orgi
veyourself
,youwerenotr
eadyand
youdi
dwhatfeltli
ketheri
ghtthi
ngattheti
me
Thesecondt earrol
lsdownmycheekandI
quicklywipei t
.Don'
tgr owupguy s,i
tsatr
ap.So
manypr obl
ems, somanyt ear
sandjustso
muchhear tache.Asanadul tyoudon'
tfor
getat
fastasachi l
ddoes,itall
comesbackt oyou
wheny ouleastexpectitto.Wespentanother
5mi nsofsilencebeforehespoke
Hi
m: don'
tyouwanti
cecr
eam bef
oreIdr
opy
ou
of
f?
Ishakemyhead,heknowsIl
ovei
cecream so
whenIrefusehet
ickl
esmeandIendup
l
aughing
Me:
OKOKst
op
Hi
m:notunt
ily
oul
augh
Me:lol
butI
'
mlaughi
ng.St
opbabyI
'
m goi
ngt
o
pee
Hestopsthenpul
l
smei
nforahuganda
f
oreheadkiss
Hi
m:GodIl
ovey
ou
Me:
don'
tuset
heLor
d'snamei
nvai
n
Hi
m:ei
shsor
ry.
Aftergettingicecr eam,hedr opsmeof fatmy
dad'shouse.I tsabi tt
ersweetmomentbecause
hei sfly
ingbackt oJo'burgtomor rowmor ni
ng.
Wesayourgoodby esthenIgeti nt hehouse
withmyKFCbr owni eavalanche, l
i
ckingt he
plasti
cspoonl i
keachi ld.Ther estoft hey eari
s
spentput tingt ogetherwhatAl wandecal l
sthe
weddi ngoft hey ear.I
'm notev encompl aini
ng
onebi tthatshehast akenov ert heplanningof
thisweddi ng, shei smymat r
onofhonor
any wayandt odaywear ehav ingt hef i
nal
fi
tti
ngsoft hedr esses.ItsYolanda, Alwande,
Liyana,Kwando, LunathiandYandi sa.It
st he
fi
rsttimeI '
m meet i
ngYandisat odayandI
al
readyl
oveher
.Weallhavechampagne
gl
assesi
nourhandsandtheconvoisfl
owi
ng
Luna:
sisyoushoul
dtr
ythedr
essonbef
orey
ou
getdr
unk
Alwa:
ohsweeti
ewedon'
tgetdr
unk,
wej
ustget
ti
psywit
hhi
ghergr
ade
Yolanda:
childpleasedrunkisdrunkandthe
wayy ouall
drink,Ihav
eaf eeli
ngwewi l
lhavea
drunkbri
de
Me:
hawma,
hav
efai
thi
nyourdaught
erpl
ease
Alwa'
sdesi gnerbri
ngsoutmyweddi ngdress
formet otryon,it
stypicalwhitemermaiddress
withalaceback.Itsgorgeous, t
ouchofmoder n
dayvintagestyl
e.Alwaandmymom hel pme
i
ntoitandIl ookatmy selfinthemir
rorandI'
m
themostbeaut if
ulI'
veev erfel
t.
Li
yana:
mngani
youl
ookgor
geous
Kwando:
Lii
sonel
uckyguy
KwandoandIgetal ongnow,sheisover
compensat i
ngf orherbitchydaysbutIdon't
mindhey .Alli
sf orgott
en.Mymot hermakesme
twir
laroundami ll
i
ont i
mesbef or
esheagr ees
thatI
'm gorgeous
Yaya:t
hesecondSmi t
hboytogetmarr
ied.
Therei
shopefortheseboy
safteral
l
Alwa:Smit
hboysdon'tcommit,
weknowthi
s.
QhaweisDlamini
andLi mi
lei
sHadebe.ASmit
h
boyisyett
ostopfucki
ngaround
Yaya:andthewaytheyf
uckar
oundy
ou'
dswear
theyareuncl
eJason'
skids
Duri
ngthiswholet
imeIwaswat chingLiy
ana,I
wouldn'
twanttobeinhershoesrightnow
honestl
y.Nooneknowsaguymor ethanhis
famil
yandthi
sbeingShaun'sfamilymeantt
hey
knewhewasn'taboutt
ocommi tanyti
mesoon.
Me:OKletmegetoutoft
hisdr
ess.Mngani
and
Kwandopleasehel
p
Wewentint
otheot
herdressi
ngr
oom,
them
hol
dingt
hetr
ail
ofmydress
Me:
Liy
anaar
eyouOK?
Shesighed,
KwandoandIlookedateachot
her
becauseweknewthatsi
ghalltoowel
l
Li
yana:
hei
scheat
ingagai
n
Kwando:
what
?Wi
thwhonow?
Liy
ana: somegirlf
rom hi
soffi
ce.Ihaven'
t
confrontedhi
m butIsawthet ext
sonhisphone.
Idon'tknowwhathewant sfrom meany more.
I'
vegivenhim al
lofmeguy s,
ev er
ythi
ng.I
'v
e
neverbeenwithanotherguyaparthim,Il
ove
him somuchi thurt
s
Kwando:babemay
beitst
imetowalkaway.I
knowheismybrot
herandever
ythi
ngbutj
ust
l
eavehim
Li
yana:whoisgoi
ngt owantmeKwando?I
'
m
25with2ki
ds.I
'm st
uckwithhi
m
Me:ther
eisnosuchthi
ng.Youarebeaut
iful
Li
yanaandanyguywouldbeluckyt
ohav eyou.
Shaunisst
upi
dfornotseei
ngyourworth
Af t
erIhadchangedoutoft hedress, wewent
outf ordinnerwit
ht hesecrazywomeni nmyl i
fe.
Beingbacki nDur banwasamazi ng,I'
vemissed
thisplace.Wewer edrinki
ngliket herewasno
tomor row.Lett
inglooseandenj oy i
ngwhat
AlwaandYandi sacalledthelastday sofmy
freedom.Mybaecal l
edaround10pm, wewer e
atsomecl ubnowandIwasni cel ydrunk
Me:
babywam
Ihadt
oscr
eam becauseoft
hel
oudmusi
c
Li
:wher
ear
eyouguy
s?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
hol
donl
etmef
indaqui
etpl
ace
Iwasal
readyheadi
ngt
othebat
hroomsandas
expect
ed,t
herewasacuesoIwaddledal
lthe
waytothedoorandst
eppedout
side
Me:
nowIcanheary
ou
Hi
m:t
ooky
oul
ongenough
Icoul
dhearthei
rr
it
ati
oni
nhisvoi
ce.Mxm he
wantrel
axandnotcomespoi
lmyfunher
e
Me:
youwer
esay
ing?
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyou?
Me:ohwear
eatCubanabutwear
egoi
ngt
o
l
eav
esoon
Hi
m:goi
nghome?
Me:no,
Alwawant
sust
ocheckoutanot
her
cl
ub
Him:f
orgetabouti
t.Youar
eal
readydr
unk.I
'
m
goi
ngtogetyouanuberandyouaregoi
ngto
gohome
Me:
no.I
'
m hav
ingf
un
Hi
m:Abongi
wedon'
tannoyme.I
'
m get
ti
ngy
ou
t
heuber
.
Me:I
'm notal
one,I'
m saf
eLi
mil
eandI
'
m hav
ing
f
un.Don'tr
uinthi
sforme
Ihungupt henswitchedmyphoneof f
.Hemust
l
etmeenj oymyni ghtoutandI '
m wit
hhi ssister
andhiscousins,
obv iousl
ytheywouldn'tletme
dosomethi ngst
upid.WhenIgetbackt ot he
tabl
e,t
hesewomenar egett
ingreadytoleav e
Me:
andt
hen?
Li
yana:
ont
othenextone
Ilookatthisone,
shehasatwoyearoldat
homeandshei sbehav
ingl
i
keshejustgot
releasedfr
om pri
son
Yaya:Ihopet
hephonesar
eof
fladi
es,
fort
wo
reasons
Alwa:t
oavoidt
hehusbandsbecauseweknow
theyar
epsycho
Kwando:andt
osav
ebat
ter
yforwhenweneed
togohome
AlwaandYandisapullherinforaverydrunk
hugandIlaugh,I
'm dr
unky esbutthesetwoare
farbey
ondwher eIam withmydr unkness
Al
wa:
I'
m sopr
oudofy
ouy
oungone
Yay
a:we'
vet
aughty
ouwel
l
Whenwegetout sidewet akeacabt oournext
desti
nati
on,Ey
adi ni.Il
i
vedinDur banfor3years
andneverhaveIbeeni nt hi
splace.Weget
meatbecauseI'
m hungr yandIknowI '
m notthe
onlyoneandaftereat i
ngitsbacktothealcohol
Li
yana:
thedancef
loori
scal
l
ingmyname
Me:
I'
m wi
thy
oumngani
I'
m pull
i
ngdancemovesI'
veneverbeenbrav
e
enoughtotr
ybefor
e,myvoshoonlymakesitto
thegroundt
wicebef
oreIdroponmyassand
giveupontr
yingi
tagai
n.I
'm hav
ingthebest
ti
meofmyli
fewhensuddenl
yIf
eel
someone
pull
i
ngonmyarm
Me:
hay
imahnl
eav
emeal
one
Idon'tevenl ookatwhoi tisbutwhenmyey es
spotthatLi yanai sbeingdraggedof ft
hedance
fl
oorbyShaun, IknowI '
mi nshit.Manqobais
alsohover i
ngov erAlwa,Oy amahashi sarm
aroundYandi sa'swaist.Atleastheissti
ll
in
gentl
emanmodewhi leMihleandKwandoar e
argui
ngatt het able.HowIwi shIwasLunat hi
ri
ghtnow, singleandcar efr
ee.Asmuchaswe
tri
edtoar gue, wef indourselvesout
sidewith
theseangr ymen
Manqoba:
ser
iousl
yAl
wande?
Al
wa:
hay
iwet
huManqobakhawphumeki
m
AtleastManqobaistal
kingtoAlwabecause
thi
sonenexttomei sfumi ngwit
hanger,
I'
m
evenscaredtoevenbreathenexttohi
mright
now
Li
:maj
i
taI
'
llchecky
ouguy
slat
er
It
salmostsunr i
se,we' v
ebeendr inkingsince
thelateafternoon,evenI '
mj udgingus.Idon' t
darelookatt hegirls,Ij
ustfoll
owLi tothecar
andwedr i
v eoff.I
'm drunk,I
'mt i
redandal l I
wantt odoi ssleepsoIcl osemyey esaswe
dri
vetot hef l
at.I'
m wokenupbyacol dbreeze,
I'
m sti
lli
nt hecar ,
mydoori sopenandhei sn't
i
nher ewi t
hme.Mxm.WhenI '
mi nt hehouseI
fi
ndhimi nt hebedr oom, heistaki nghi sclothes
offandIcanheart heshowerr unni ng
Me:
hawbabywhydi
dyoul
eav
emei
nthecar
?
Hedoesn'trespond, conti
nuestor emov ehis
cl
othes.Alcoholmakesmehor ny ,especial
l
y
wineandnowhei sinf r
ontofme, fumingwith
angerplusheisnaked.Iwal kclosert ohim and
pl
acemyar msar oundhi m.Onet hingIknow
aboutLiisthatnomat t
erhowpi ssedof fhe
maybe, hewi l
lneverrejectme.Hesi ghsheav i
ly
andIti
ghtenmyhol dandr estmyheadonhi s
back
Li
:l
et'
stakeashowert
hensl
eep
Me:
sleep?
Hi
m:y
esAbongi
wesl
eep
Theshowerwasexactl
ythat,
af r
eakenshower
withnoacti
onthenwegotinbedwhi l
eIwas
sti
llhor
nyandhepassedoutleavi
ngmelike
that
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*35*
"
It
snotahangov
er,
itswi
nef
lu.
"
Itst
illbeat
smewhywegetpuni shedf orhaving
agoodt i
me.Iwakeupwi t
hamot herofall
headaches, mythroati
sdr yandhonest l
yIthink
I'
m dying.Myot herhal
fisn'
teveninbedwi t
h
me, Ihavenoideawher emyphonei sandI
doubtIcar ebecauseallIwantismor esleep.I
l
ayont hebednotmov ing,IdoubtIam ev en
abletomov er
ightnowandasImakeapr omi se
tomy sel
fnevertotouchalcohol again,Li
mile
walksin,openstheblindsandIscr eam in
agony.Iwasnev erreadyforallt
hatbr i
ghtness
andjudgingfrom t
hewayhel aughs,heknew
thatwasgoingtot ort
ureme.
Me:
youar
esomean
Li
:l
olser
vesyouri
ghtfordr
inki
ngthewhol
e
ni
ghtandfor
cingmetocomeher e
Hewal kst
owar
dsthebed,Isi
tupwhenhesi t
s
nexttome.Nogoodmorningbeaut
if
ul,
breakf
asti
nbedoratl
eastsomecoffee.Kant
i
whatkindi
fmanisthi
s?
Me:Idi
dn'
tfor
ceyoutocomeher
e,y
oucame
her
ebecauseyouar
epsycho
Iattemptget
ti
ngoutofbedbuthepullsme
towardsme,mybum hurtsforsomereason,
actuall
ymywholebodyhurtswhichgetsme
thi
nkingwhatexact
lywentdownlastni
ght
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tcomeher
ebecauseI
'
m psy
cho
Abongi
we,
Icameher
ebecausey
oudon'
tl
ist
en
SolastnightIgotinbednakedbecauseIwas
hopi
ngt ogetdickeddownbeforeIsleepso
nowhei sbusyt weeki
ngmynipplesbet ween
hi
sfingers,cl
earl
ytryi
ngtodri
veapoi ntacross
Me:
babyIl
i
sten,
youknowt
his
Him: t
henwhyi
sitt
hatwhenIt
ell
youthaty
ou
aredrunkandI
'
m get
ti
ngyouanubery
oudon't
l
isten?
Hishandmakesi t'
swayslowlydownmy
stomachandmyhear tst
art
sraci
ngandIslowl
y
partmylegs.Idon'
trespond,myfocushas
gonetowhathei sdoingtomynakedbodyand
theeff
ectthereof
Hi
m:Abongi
wendi
thet
hanawef
ondi
n
Hepul
lsonmynippl
eagai
n,al
i
ttl
etoohar
dthi
s
t
imeandIscr
eam
Me:
ouchhaw
Hi
m:don'
touchme,
tel
lmewhyy
oudon'
tl
ist
en
Me:Iwassti
ll
havi
ngf
unnj
ebabyandi
tsnot
l
ikeIwasn'
tal
one
Hi
sotherhandwasal r
eadynear
ingmycooki
e
j
arandthecloserhegot,
themoreIopenedmy
l
egs
Him:sohavi
ngfunismoreimport
antt
hany
our
safet
y?I
sthatwhatyouar
etell
i
ngme?
Heslidonefi
ngeri
ntomyal
readywethol
eandI
gaspedloudl
y.
Hi
m:whatwast
hat
?Idi
dn'
tqui
tegeti
t
Heremovedhi
sf i
ngerleavi
ngmewant i
ngmore
butwhenhei
nsertedtwooft hem,
Ihel
dhis
handfi
rml
yasIgrindedonitbuthesoonpul
led
i
tbackandhi
sfingerssli
doutofmeagain
Him:Idon'
tli
kethi
sthi
ngofrepeat
ingmy sel
f.
Abongiweishav
ingfunmoreimportantt
han
youbeingsaf
e?
Me:youcan'
texpectmetof
ocusonanswer
ing
youwhil
eyouaredoingt
hat
.
Ihear dhi m chuckl
esof tl
y,Iknewhewas
gettingpi ssedoffbecauseIhadr ai
sedmy
voiceathi m butIwasal soget ti
ngannoy edby
thisst upidgamehewaspl ay i
ng.Hel i
fted
himsel fupf rom nexttome, separ atedmyl egs
furthert hengotinbet weent hem.Heki ssedme
roughl ywhi l
stpull
ingmyhai r,hishandsal lover
met henonehandwentdownt ot hespace
betweenmyl egsandhest artedr ubbingme
hard.Hi sl i
psnotleavingmi ne, kissingme
roughl yanddeepl y.Ikeptmoani ng, fl
exingmy
hipst henal lofasuddenhepul l
edaway
Me:
whatt
hef
uckLi
mil
e?
Ihi
tthebedwithmyf i
stswhi
l
ehecli
mbedoff
meandst oodattheedgeoft
hebedleav
ingme
hor
nyandannoy ed
Hi
m:Iwantt
oteachy
out
oli
stent
omewhenI
tal
kt oyou,
towatchhowyoutal
ktomeand
Sthandwasam Ithi
nkIal
soneedtot
eachy
ou
tolearntor
espectme
Hi
seyeswerered,
hisv
einswerevi
sibl
eonthe
si
desofhi
sheadandIwon'tl
i
e,Iwasscar
ed
Me:Li
mil
eify
oudar
elayahandonme,
Iwi
l
l
l
eav
ey ou
Him: nowwebot hwouldn'
twantthat
.I'
m not
goingtotouchyoubuttrustme,y
ouwi l
lbegme
tofucktheli
feoutofyoubeforet
his
conversat
ionisover
Iswal l
owedhar dasmycl ittingled, helooked
sof r
eakensexyashesai dt his,hisbottom li
p
sexil
yt uckedbetweenhi st eethandhi seyes
narrowed.Hest artedtakingi scl othesoff
sl
owl yandIcoul dn'tt
akei tany mor esoIstood
upandappr oachedhim, Iwant edt otouchhim,
scratcht hat
,Ineededtot ouchhi m
Hi
m:don'
ttakeast
epcl
oser
.Yousai
dyoudon'
t
wantmet
otouchy
ou
Me:babyIdi
dn'
tmeant
hat
,Ij
ustmeantt
hatI
di
dn'
twantyoutohi
tme
Heremovedhisshor
tst ogetherwithhi
sbri
efs
andnowhewascompl etel
ynakedandhi sdi
ck
wasrockhar
dstandi
ngatat tent
ion.I
swal
lowedhardasIstaredati t
Him:hi
ty ou?WowAbongiwe.HaveIeverhit
youbefore?Inthe4y
ear
swe'vebeentogether
haveIeverlai
dahandonyou?
Myey eskeptmovi
ngf r
om hisl
ipst
ohisabst
o
hisdi
ckandIwasn'tfocusedonwhathewas
sayi
ng,Iwantedhi
m andheknewt hi
sandI
knewhewasgoi ngtotortur
eme
Hi
m:Abongi
we!
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:answerme
Me:
no.
Him:
thenwhywoul
dyout
hinkIwoul
dst
art
now?
Hetookhi sdickintohishandandst art
ed
st
rokingit
,agai nIswall
owedhar d.Thiswast
he
worstkindoft ort
ure.Hewasrightthere,5
st
epsaway ,
nakedandIcoul dn'ttouchhim
Me:
babyI
'
m sor
ry
Him: Idon'twantyoursorr
y,Iwantr easons.
Whydi dn'tyouli
sten?Whydidy ouhangupon
mewhi l
eIwast alki
ngtoyou?Forf ucksakes
Abongi weIflewfrom Jo'
burgtocomepul lyour
drunkassoutofacl ub.Whereisther especti
n
al
l ofthis?Yazbabyy ouar
eluckybecauseI '
m
goingt oteachyouhowt orespectmeasy our
man.Uy andi
va?
Inodded,
Ishouldbescar
edbutIwassoturned
on,t
hewayhespokeandt hewordshespoke
weresuchaturnon
Hi
m:Abongi
wendi
thet
hanawe
Me:
yesbabyIheary
ou
Him:nowgetbackonthatbedbecauseIdon'
t
knowwhosaidyoushouldgetof
f
Me:
butbabe
Hi
m:Idi
dsayIdon'
tl
iker
epeat
ingmy
sel
fri
ght
?
Iwalkedbackt othebedi nf r
ustrati
on, Ihated
mybodyf orthebetrayalrightnowbecausehad
Inotbeenhor ny,
Iwoul dn'tcaremuchf ort hi
s.
WhenIl ai
dont hebedhegr abbedmebymy
l
egsandpul ledmet owar dshim.Ourf aces
wereinchesapartbutwhenIl eanedf or wardf or
akiss,hemov edtomynecki nst
ead.Heki ssed
medownmyneck, li
ckingandbi tinghar d.I'm
defi
nit
elygoingtohav eamar kthere.It ri
ed
touchi
nghim buthehel dmyhandsi nhi sone
handandpi nnedthem ov ermyhead.It r
ied
wiggli
ngmyhandsoutbuthehel dthem t ightl
y .
Me:
babypl
ease
Hi
m:whatdoy
ouwantmyangel
?
Me:
Iwantt
otouchy
ou.
Hepul
l
edbackfr
om myneck,l
ookedatmewi
th
hi
ssmir
ksmil
ethenshookhi
shead
Him:nope.Unf
ort
unat
elyt
hat
'snotgoi
ngt
o
happen
Hewentdownt omyst omach, pl
ant i
ngki sses
alloveritthenwentdownt omydr ippingwet
cookiej arandhest ar tedeatingmeout .The
momentIf el
thistongueonmeIwi ggledmy
hands, Ineededt otouchhi m, Ineededt opush
hisheaddeeperbet weenmyl egsandf uckhis
facebuthewast oost rong.Hewoul dn'tletme.
Het ookhi sti
me, li
cki ngandsucki ng,goingup
anddown, inandout .Itfeltl
i
kenot hi
ngI 'vefel
t
i
nmyl i
f e,t
hef actthatIcoul dn'ttouchhi m
madei tev enmor ei ntenseandIwant edt ocr y
.
Me:
fuckLi
mil
e.OhGodbaby
.
Hesankhisteet
honmycli
t,gent
lygrazi
nghi
s
t
eet
hov eri
tthenpul
l
edl
i
ghtly.That
'swheni
fel
tmyorgasm bui
ldingup,thewayheknows
mybody,Iknowhef elti
ttoobecausehepulled
backt
henstart
edagai n.Iwasgoingoutofmy
mind,
fucki
nghisfaceandi ndesperat
eneedf or
myorgasm.Hepulledbackagainandl ookedat
mewithasmi r
k.
Hi
m:l
et'
spl
ayagame
Me:
fuckno
Hi
m: l
anguageAbongi
we.Di
dwenotj
ust
di
scussrespect
?Ncncnc
Hewasshakinghisheadwitht
hesamesmi r
k
thatwasannoyi
ngmer i
ghtnow.I
'mlayi
ngher e,
nandoschi
ckenstyl
e,hi
sheadisbetweenmy
l
egs,I'
mindesperat
eneedforanorgasm and
hewantstoplayastupi
dgame
Hi
m:t
her
ulesoft
hegamear
easf
oll
ows
Me:I'
m notpl
ayi
ngyourst
upidgame,ei
therI
havemyorgasm wi
thyourdi
ckinsi
demeormy
fi
nger
sbutonewayoranotheri
t'
shappening
Him:l
olwe' l
lseeaboutthat
.Rul
esoft hegame,
youdon'tcum unlessIt
elly
outoo.It
sallpar
tof
t
eachingy outoli
stenwhenIgiv
ey ou
i
nstr
ucti
ons
Me:
I'
m notpl
ayi
ngt
hatst
upi
dgame
Hi
m:oht
rustmemyl
ove,
youwi
l
lpl
ayi
t
Hesuckedonmycl i
tforthelongestti
me
bef
oremov ingupt
omybr east
sthenmyneck
andfi
nal
lymyl i
psashisdickpositi
onedit
sel
f
atmyentrance.Wi
thonedeept hrusthe
ent
eredmeandIscr eamed
Me:
FuckLi
mil
e!!
!
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lbaby
Me:
yimababyy
ouar
eint
oodeep
Hi
m:good
Hepoundedme, Iscr
eamedwi thever
ypainf
ull
y
amazi
ngthrust
,mywal l
stight
enedaroundhim
andIwasli
kefuckitI
'm cuming,whet
herhe
want
smet
oornot
Me:
aaahshi
tbaby
Thenhepul
l
edbackagai
n,l
aughedbef
ore
ent
eri
ngmeagai
n
Me:
Ihat
eyou
Him:andy etIl
ovey
ousomuchbabybutyou
don'
tli
sten.Doyouwanty
ouror
gasm l
ove?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:doy
oupr
omi
set
ost
artl
i
steni
ngt
ome?
Hewasnowmakingsl
owl
ovet
omeandi
twas
pur
ebl
issf
ult
ort
ure
Me:ohJesusy
esbabyIpr
omi
se.FuckbabyI
wantt
ocum
Heletgoofmyhands,pl
acedmylegonhi
s
shoul
dert
henfuckedmeallov
eragai
n
Hi
m:cum f
ormeSt
handwaSam
Idi
dn'
tneedasecondi
nvi
tat
ionbecauset
hree
thr
ustslat
er,Ir
eleasedwhatt
ilt
odayIconsi
der
thebestorgasm ofmylif
e,mynail
sdeepinhis
back,mywal l
sti
ghtaroundhi
sdick,he
cli
maxedjustafterIdi
d.
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Hi
m:t
rustmenotasmuchasIl
ovey
ou
Bythet
imewegotoutofbed,itwasar ound
3pm,af
tert
hatamazi
ngsex,Isleptagainthen
whenwewokeup,hemademef oodandt hen
at3wetookashower
.
Hi
m:i
nat
hist
hingofy
our
shasbeenr
ingi
ng
Ihadjustfi
nishedget t
ingdressed,Itookmy
phoneandIhad12mi ssescalls.12!All
from
Li
yana,Alwande, Lunathiandmymot her.I
cal
ledYolandaf i
rst
Yolanda:
final
l
y.Whati
swrongwit
hy ou?I'
ve
beenworriedsi
ckandwher
eisyoursist
er?
Wowt
hiswomancanshoutandwor
sekeI
havenoideawhereLunathiis.Iprobabl
yshoul
d
havest
artedbycal
lingher.Isignal
edforLi
mile
tocal
lherwhil
eIstallYol
anda
Me:aski
esma,lastni
ghtgotal
i
ttl
ecr
azyand
I
'v
ebeensleepi
ngallday
Her
:It
oldy
out
hosewomanar
edr
unkar
ds
Me:maplease.I
'm OKsoy oushoul
dn'
tworry
andLi
ishere,heal
readyshoutedanddeal
twith
mesoI'mfine
Liwavedapaperi
nfrontofmetel
l
ingmet
hat
Lunat
hiiswi
thLiy
anaatShaun'
splace
Her
:andwher
eisy
oursi
ster
?Issheev
enal
i
ve?
Me:
I'
ll
dropherof
flat
er.Shei
sfi
ne.Wear
efi
ne
Her
:OKandy
ouar
ebot
hsl
eepi
ngathome
t
oday
Me:
hawmabutLi
isher
e
Her
:OKf
inebuteatathome.Idon'
tseeenough
ofy
ougi
rl
s
I
mmedi
atel
yaf
terIhungup,
Alwacal
l
ed.
Me:
youar
eal
i
ve
Al
wa:
bar
ely
.Thehangov
erIhav
eisr
idi
cul
ous
Me:
makest
het
woofusheyandI
'
mjustt
ir
ed
Her:
Yandisasay
sweshouldcomeov erf
ora
br
aai,ev
eryonei
satShaun'
shouseand
ManqobaandIareheadi
ngther
etoo
Me:I
'
llt
alkt
oyourbr
otherandt
exty
oui
fwear
e
comi
ng
Her
:al
ri
ghtcool
IrantheideapastLi andheagr eed,Ichanged
toblackri
ppedj eans,kneehighboots,long
sleevedwhiteT-shir
tandabl ackjacket.Puta
blackbeanieovermyweav ebecausei twas
windyandcol doutside.Hewor eblackjeans,
whitevneckT- shir
tandabl ackNYbasebal l
cap
Me:
arey
ounotcol
d?
Li
:i
t'
snotcol
d,y
ouar
ejustf
ull
ofdr
ama.
Masambe
Hethr ewhi
sarm overmyneckandweheaded
fort
hedoor .WhenwegottoShaun'splace,
ever
y onewasjustal
mostdead,
wel l
theladi
es
becausetheguyswerefr
esh.Ij
oinedthegir
lsi
n
thelounge
Al
wa:
I'
m sor
eev
ery
wher
e
Me:Minamyassissor
eandIdon'
tev
en
under
standwhy
Li
yana:
itst
hatf
ail
edat
temptofav
oshoy
oudi
d
i
zolo
Weallbr
eaki
ntol
aught
er,
Ican'
tbel
iev
eIfel
l
f
latonmyassinacl
ub.WowzerIwasnev
er
r
eady
Yaya:
butl
astni
ghtwasonsomeot
herl
evel
of
fun
Luna:
yeahbef
orey
ourmenendedt
hef
unf
or
us
Kwando:goshtheyar
eful
lofdramathough.
Mihl
eisn'
tevental
ki
ngtomer i
ghtnow
Luna:ar
en'
tyouol
dert
hanhi
m?Justt
ell
him
wheretogetof
f
Al
wa:olderonl
ywhenitcomestoage,
ot
herwisethat
'shermanandt
herespectf
act
or
i
sthere
Irol
lmyeyes.Thesemenandwant i
ngrespect
evenwhentheyarewrong.Therewasnoneed
fort
hem tofl
yinfr
om all
overthecountryto
rui
nourfun.I
tsthi
spri
vatejetnonsenseItel
l
you
Me:Igott
helect
ureonr
espectandl
i
steni
ng
t
hismorni
ng
Al
wa:
sameher
e.
Yay
a:ev
enme.I
'
m st
il
lsor
enj
efr
om i
t
Lunat
hiandLi
yanal
ookatuswhi
l
eKwandoj
ust
chuckl
es.SheknowswhatwemeanandIhav
e
afeeli
ngshegotitaswel
l
Li
yana:
sor
efr
om al
ect
ure?
Al
wa:
lect
uref
oll
owedbypuni
shment
Luna:
ohmywor
dhebeaty
ouup?
Al
wa,Yaya,
KwandoandIjustl
aughli
kecr
azy
.
Aaaht
heseyoungones,
socluel
ess
Al
wa:
lol
wegotabeat
ingal
ri
ght
Yay
a:l
olwi
tht
hemagi
cst
ick
Event
uallyt
heycatchonandj oi
ninthelaughing.
Tookthem longenough.Theguysbringinthe
meatandweeati tasitis,nopapandnosal ads.
Wearet ootir
edforhar
dl abor
Manqoba:
maj
i
tawear
emar
ri
edt
oal
cohol
i
csl
a
Al
wa:real
lyManzi
ni?Oneni
ghtoutmakesus
al
cohol
icsnow?
Oy
ama:
didy
ouguy
shav
efunatl
east
?
HaveIment i
onedthatOy amaismyf avori
teout
ofallt
hesepsychos?Wel lapar
tf r
om my
psycho.Aft
erthemeatfest ,
wel eave.I
tsLi,
Lunathiandmy sel
fint
hecar ,I
'
m outher ecold
ashellandtheyarechi
ll
inginjustt-shi
rts
Me:howi
sitt
hatI
'
mtheonl
yoneher
ewhoi
s
col
d
Luna:
may
bey
ouar
eget
ti
ngf
luf
rom l
astni
ght
Me:
yeahi
tcoul
dbey
az

[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*36*
"
I'
ll
nev
erf
ini
shf
all
i
ngi
nlov
ewi
thy
ou.
"
Afterthecr
azyweekendIhad, al
lIstil
lwanted
todowasl ayonmyman' schestandhav ea
l
azyweeki ndoors.Theperksofyourfuture
sisteri
nlawbeingyourbossisthatitdoesn't
takemuchef f
orttomakesucht hingshappen.
SoitsMondaymorningandwhenmyeyesopen,
I
'm welcomedbybigbeaut
if
ulbr
owneyes
l
ookingatme.Looksli
kehehasbeenupfor
hours
Li
:goodmor
ningmostbeaut
if
ul
Ismi
l
e,act
ual
l
yIt
hinkI
'
m bl
ushi
ngy
az
Me:
mor
ningbabe.Howl
onghav
eyoubeenup?
Him:notl
ong.Ihavesomethi
ngonmymi
nd
andIwanttorunitpasty
ou
Me:
OKl
etmewashmyf
acet
henwe'
l
ltal
k
Igotupf ort
hebed,hesmackedmyassandI
l
etoutascr eam whi
chmadehiml augh.Gotto
thebathroom,peed,
washedmyf acethen
brushedmyt eet
handmadeitbackt obed.I
wasgoi ngtoenj
oybeingi
nDurbant hi
sweek,
withtheweddingin3weeksIknowIwon' thave
ti
met obondwi t
hthi
smanofmi ne
Me:
OKwhat
'sony
ourmi
nd?
Hi
m:y
izaphakal
ok
Iwassitt
ingatadi
stancefr
om hi
m andwit
h
theobsessi
onhehaswi t
hmyskin,hepul
l
ed
mecloserunti
lIwasontopofhimthenhe
smil
ed
Hi
m:hey
Me:
lol
hey
Hi
m:gi
vemeaki
ss
Me:
hay
ibabyt
alkhaw
Hi
m:gi
vemeaki
ssf
ir
st
Il
oweredmyheadt ohi
s,brushedmyli
ps
agai
nsthi
sbef or
ehepul l
edonmybot t
om l
ip
andweshar edaslowkiss.Ourwayofsay
ing
goodmorningproperl
yIguess
Me:
OKI
'
mli
steni
ng
Him:I'
vebeenthi
nki
ngaboutt
het
imewewere
atthedoct
or,y
ouknowwhenwelostt
hebaby
Inod,
I'
m cur
ioust
oknowwher
ethi
sisgoi
ng
Hi
m:Ist
il
lwantaf
ami
l
yAbongi
weandIwant
t
hatwi
thyou
Me:butLi
mileyouknowthat'
snotpossi
ble.
Youweretherewhenthedoct
orsai
dit
Hi
m: Iknowbutt
her
ear
eot
herway
s.Adopt
ion
f
orexample
Ihadn'tthoughtofadoptingachi l
dhonestly
,do
blackpeopleev engothrought hatrout
eand
howdoesi tevenwork?Doy ouwalkintoan
orphanageandshopl i
key oudoatamal l
?I'
m
notsay i
ngI '
m notopentot heideabutithas
nevercrossedmymi nd
Me:
youwantt
oadopt
?
Him:Iwantustoadoptorrat
herconsider
adopt
ion.Whenyouarereadyofcourse
Me:canIthi
nkaboutit
?Iwantafamil
yaswel
l
butIj
usthadn'
tconsi
deredi
thappeni
ngf
orus
Him: ofcoursebutIwashopi ngt hatwi
thus
beingher ethewholeweekt ogether,wecould
visi
taf ewor phanages,
talktosocialworker
s
andatl eastknowt heprocessofhowi tworks.
Liyana'
saunti sasocialworkerandshei sin
townt omor r
ow
Me:
woawbabyst
opdi
elor
ry.
Hechuckl
es,fl
ipsmeov
erandnowhei sontop
ofme.Heplacesaki
ssonmyforeheadthen
smil
es
Hi
m:I
'
m mov
ingt
oof
ast
?
Igi
ggl
ethennod
Me:
justabi
t
Him: I
'
m sorry.I
'mjustexci
tedandIt
hink
adopti
oni sbett
er.Wewi l
lact
uall
ybe
guaranteedthatourbabywill
becute
Ihi
thi
sbackandhef
li
nches
Hi
m:ouchwhatwast
hatf
or?
Me:wewillnotchooseourbabybasedon
cut
enesshaw.Wewi l
lchooset
heonethatwe
haveabondwi t
hthemost
Him:wel
lIwantaboy
.Acut
edar
kski
nnedboy
l
ikeme
Me:youar
enotev
endar
k.Getof
fme,
I'
m
hungr
y
Hi
m:I
'
m hungr
ytoobutnotf
orf
ood
Me:
shame.Suka
Ipushhim offme, putmygownont henhead
forthekit
chen.I'
mi nthemoodf orsomet hi
ng
meat ysoImakesausages, beefpatti
es,bacon
andchips.Ican'tst
andeggsatt hemomentf or
somer eason.Liwalksin,
helookslikehehas
alr
eadyshower edsoIservehim hisbreakfast
andhel ooksatmet henattheplatethenback
atme
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:t
her
ear
enoeggsont
hispl
ate
Me:
so?
Him:babybr
eakf
asti
sn'
tcompl
etewi
thout
eggs
Me:i
sit?Wellmakey
ourowneggsbecauseI
don'
twanteggs
Themomenthebr eakst hef i
rstegg, Ifeelmy
stomacht urningandIl eav etheki tchent oeatin
thebedroom.Ir eall
yshoul dconsi dergoi ngto
thedoctorbutar gmanI 'mt oobusyf orsuch
thi
ngs.Ieati npeacewhi legoingt hroughmy
socialnetworks, obviousl ystarti
ngwi thmy
Facebookmemor i
esandt hat
'swhenIcome
acrossapi ctureIhadpost edinf i
rsty earof
AveryandI .Istareati t,wear el aughingso
happil
y ,
hewasbehi ndmewi thhisar msar ound
mywai st.It
sacut epi cture,Imustadmi tbutit'
s
alli
nthepastnow.Iwonderwher ehei sandi f
hehasgr ownupy et.Limi lewalksi nwi thhis
pl
ateoffoodandIst
ophi
m bef
orehei
sev
en
anywher
eclosetome
Me:i
fther
eareeggsi
nthatpl
ate,
gobackand
eati
nthel
ounge
Hi
m:why
?
Me:becauseI
'dl
ikeal
lmybreakf
astt
ost
ayi
n
mystomach.Thankyouv
erymuch
Hi
m:butbaby
Me:
I'
m ser
iousLi
mil
eHadebe.Go
I'
m pointingatthedoor ,
bei ngalldramaticand
doeshel i
sten?Hewal ksinandsi tsbyt he
couchint hebedr oom unt ilwearedoneeat ing
thenhet akesourpl ateswhi l
eItakeashower .
Wespendt hewhol edayi ndoors,wat chi
ng
mov i
es,hav ingsex, cooking,havingsex, t
alking
andhav ingsex .Thenextdaywemeetupwi th
hisuncle'swi f
eforbr unch.Shei ntroduces
hersel
fasAsemahl e,shel ooksabi tli
keLiyana
butmor el i
keSbani thenany oneelse
Mahle:soyouguy
sar
ereal
l
yconsi
der
ing
adopti
ng?
LiandIlookateachot
her,wespentmostof
yester
daytal
ki
ngaboutitandIguessi
tswor
th
atry
Li
:yeah.Iwantt
oknowthati
twi
l
lbeappr
oved
bytheti
mewegetmar r
ied
Il
ookathim asifhei
scraz
y,t
hesethi
ngst
ake
monthsi
fnoty ear
stobeappr
oved.I
twon'
t
happeni
n3weeks
Mahl
e:andwhenar
eyouguy
sget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
Me:
the9t
hofSept
ember
Mahl
e:t
hat
'si
n3weeksLi
mil
e
Li
:i
tsal
ongt
ime
Mahle:
noiti
sn't
.OKareyouguy
slooki
ngf
ora
babyorat
oddlerorwhat
?
Us:
ababy
Asemahl etakesust oafewhospit
al sandwe
gettointeractwithafewabandonedbabi es.At
fi
rstI
'm scared,especi
all
ywhenallthebabi esI
holdstartcryi
ngbutwhenLi hol
dst hem,they
keepquiet.Itgetsabitover
whelmingbecauseI
feell
i
keI '
m alreadyfai
li
ngatbei
ngamot her
Me:
excuseme
Ihandthescreami ngbabybacktothenur se
andIstorm out.Thetearsareal
ready
str
eamingdownmycheeks.It akeaseati nthe
passagewithmyheadonmyl ap.I
'm notcut
outfort
histhing.Godhadal r
eadydecidedthat
I'
m notgoi
ngt obeamot hersowhyam I
for
cingthi
ngs?
Li
:babewhat
'sgoi
ngon?
Hewassquat t
inginfrontofmewi thhi
shand
onmyt hi
gh.Ishakemyheadt henli
fti
tupand
oureyesmeet.Hisfaceinstant
lytur
nstoworry
andI'
mi nhi
sar msbef or
eIcansayany thi
ng
Hi
m:shhht
alkt
ome.What
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
they
..
.I
'
m..
.no
I'
m notevenmaki ngsensebutheholdsme
ti
ghterandrubsmybackunt i
lI
'm cal
m,Iwi
pe
myt ear
swiththebackofmyhandandI '
m sur
e
I'
m acompletemessr ightnowbutIguessI
chosetheperfectdaynottowearmakeup
Hi
m:ar
eyour
eadyt
otel
lmewhat
'
swr
ong?
Me:
thebabi
esdon'
tl
ikeme
Hi
m:t
heyar
ebabi
esAbongi
we,
cry
ingi
sal
lthey
do
Me: butt
heydon'
tcr
ywhenyouholdthem.
Theyonlycr
yinmyarms.Theydon'
tl
ikemebut
theyli
keyou
Hi
m:doy
ouwantt
ogohome?
Inod.I'
vehadenoughofthesescr
eamingti
ny
humanst hatdon'
tli
keme.Idon'
tpar
ti
cul
arl
y
l
ikethem eit
herri
ghtnow
Him:OKl
et'
sgosayourgoodby
est
henwecan
go.
Weheadbackt othenur sery,
I'
mf eel
ingless
emot i
onal butIsti
ll
don'twantt obehol ding
anymor ebabiesunt i
lIspother .Shei si
nt hecot,
suckingonhert oeandnotbot her edby
anything.Shelookssocut ewithheraf r
o.I '
m
tempt edtopickherupbutwhati fshestar t
s
screami ng.Wear ehavingt hi
sstar i
ngcont est
nowt henIsmi le
Li
:l
et'
sgomyangel
Me:
wai
tasec
Nur
se:
youcanpi
ckherup
Ilookatthenur
seandshei sencouragingmet
o
pickherupbutI'
m scar
edy etIwantto.I'
m
feeli
ngsuchastrangeconnecti
ontoher
Li
:pi
ckherupbabe
Igent
lyl
i
ftherof
fthebedandi
ntomyar
ms.
Neverquest
ionPeoplethattel
lyouaboutlove
atf
irstsi
ght
,Idi
dn'tt
hinkitexi
stedunti
lthi
s
ver
ymoment .Sheisbeautif
ul
Me:
hel
l
obeaut
if
ul
Ir
unmyt humboverhercheekandIt
hinkshe
smil
edtheref
orasecond.Thi
sismybaby,I
wantthi
sone.Idi
dn'
tchooseher,
shechoseme
Li
:Iknowt
hatl
ook
Me:
lol
thi
sisourbaby
Ihandhertohim andhemelt
sont hespot.I
ts
notthedar
kskinnedcuteboyhewantedbutthe
momentshewr apsherhandaroundhisthumb,
heisagoner.Het ur
nst
oAsemahl eandshe
nods
Mahl
e:I
'm notpr
omisi
ngy
ou3weeksbutI
'
llget
t
hepaperworkstar
ted
SuddenlyIdon'
twantt
ogohome,Iwantt
o
spendthewholedaywit
hher
.Iwantt
obond
wi
thherandj
ustwat
chhercl
osel
y
Li
:myangel
wer
eal
l
yhav
etogetgoi
ng
Me:wear
eal
l
owedt
ocomebackt
omor
row
r
ight
?
Nurse:y
esbutyouhav
etobeaccompani
edby
asocialwor
ker
Wel eavethehospit
alandIwon'tl
ie,myheartis
heavy.Whycoul dn'
twejustgohomewi thher?I
can'
tgethert i
nygorgeousfaceoutofmymi nd
andI'm smil
ingallt
hewayhome.Li hasbeen
awfull
yquietsinceweleftt
hehospit
al,
hehada
bri
efconversati
onwi t
hAsemahlebeforeweleft
Me:
babyar
eyouok?
Hi
m: whatdoyouf
eell
i
keeatingt
oday
?Idon'
t
t
hinkIwantt
ocookandI'
m surey
ouaret
ir
ed
Me:
soy
ouar
ejustgoi
ngt
oignor
emyquest
ion?
Hei
spull
ingupint
othecomplexandhest
ops
t
hecarbutdoesn'
tswi
tchof
ftheengi
ne
Hi
m:whatdoy
ouwantt
oeat
?Iwantt
ogoget
f
ood
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Him:dammitAbongi
wejustt
ell
mewhaty
ou
wanttoeatandst
opaski
ngmest upi
d
quest
ions
Iopenmymout ht osaysomet hi ngbutnot hing
comesout ,Idon'
tunder standwhyI '
m get t
ing
snappedatwher easIdi dn'tdoany thi
ng.Iget
outthecar ,makesur et oslam t hedoorandhe
driv
esof fbeforeIev engett ot hedoor .Mxm as
i
fIcar e,hejustfuckedupwhatwassupposed
tobeanamazi ngdayf orme.Igeti nthef l
at,
takemyshoesof fandonl ythendoIr eali
zethat
I'
m hungr y
.Imakeaf r
uitsmoot hie,Iknowi t
won'tfil
lmeupbuti tshal lholdt hehungerunt il
Licomesbackwi thfood.Af terhav ingmy
smoot hieImusthav efall
enasl eepbecauseI '
m
wokenupbymyphoner inging, Ilookar ound
theflat,
it'
sdarkwhi chmeansI '
m st il
lalone.I
l
ookatthenumberandi
tsnotsav
edonmy
phone
Me:
hel
l
o
?
?:hel
l
omiss,t
her
eisadel
i
ver
yfory
ou.Can
y
oucomepicki
tup
Irollmyey es,Iknowhei sn'tcomi ngback
tonight,that '
stheonl yreasonhe' dor derf ood
formeandhav eitdeliveredinst eadofbr inging
i
thimsel f.Iputmysl i
pper son, gof etchmy
foodf rom t hedel i
v eryguyandheadbacki n.It
s
steak,ribs, quar t
erchi ckenandchi ps.Ieatabi t
ofev erythingt henputi ti
nt hef ri
dget henhead
tobed.I tsonl y8pm butI 'mt i
redandI 'vehada
l
ongassday .Imakesur et ot
y peal ongheat ed
SMSt oLi mi l
et henswi t
chmyphoneof f
.Wear e
gettingmar ri
edi n3weeksandhest il
l behav es
l
iket hi
s.Heneedst ogrowup, itsnotl ikeI '
ve
neverseenhi m pissedof fbeforeandi fhe
needst ocool of f,hemustsaysoandnotj ust
storm of fandl eav emeher ealone.I 'm her eto
spendt heweekwithhim andnottohousesi t
hi
sf l
at.WhenIwakeupt henextdayhei sn't
back,Iswitchmyphoneonandt hereisn'
tev en
ami ssedcallf
rom hi
m.Idecidetogot omy
mother'shousesoIcleanaroundtheflat
,takea
showert henpackmybag.IdialLazol
a's
numberandheanswer s
Laz:
heysi
s
Me:
heyunj
ani
?
Hi
m:I
'
m goodandy
ou?
Me:
I'
m good.Doy
ouhav
ecl
asst
oday
?
Hi
m:Ihadacl
assi
nthemor
ning.I
'
m donenow.
What
'sup?
Me:
pleasecomepi
ckmeup?Iwantt
ospend
t
herestoft
heweekwi
thy
ouguys
Hi
m:al
ri
ghtI
'
m comi
ng
Hearri
vesaf
ter30minut
es,Ilockupandhe
dr
ivesustoYolanda'
shouse.Lucki
l
ysheisn'
t
homeandLunat hi
staysatr
es,shewas
determinedt
oleavet
hehouseaftermatr
icso
i
tsjustLazol
aandauntKhethi
wet hehel
per
thatarehome
Laz:
OKsowhat
'
sup?
Me:
wit
hwhat
?
Hi
m:wi
thy
ou.
Me:
not
hing.Ij
ustmi
ssedy
ouguy
s
Hi
m:hmmm
[
08/
18,
15:
37]Mca:
*37*
"
Communicati
ontoarel
ati
onshi
pisl
i
keoxy
gen
t
oli
fe.Wi
thouti
t,i
tdi
es.
"
SoIf iguredI'dspendt her
estoft heweekatmy
mot her'splace,wit
habi tofpeaceandnot
stressedbyt heidiotthati
smyboy fri
endbuti
t
took2hr s.Just2hrsbef or
ehi scarparked
outsideandLazol alethimi n.2hrsguysandhe
wasi nf rontofmyf acelookingallsorr
yand
knowingverywellthatI'
m goingtoloseitwit
h
him.Hesatont hecouchopposi tetheoneI
wassitti
ngonandj ustst ar
edatmewi thout
sayi
ngat hi
ng,juststar
ingatmeexpect ingme
tosaysomet hi
ng.Ohonoti nthi
sli
fet
ime,I'
m
hereforpeaceandnot hingmor e
Li
:Abongi
we
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:y
oul
eft
Iaver
tedmyeyesfr
om theTVtohi
m,adj
ust
ed
mysitti
ngposi
ti
onandgavehi
m myundi
vi
ded
att
enti
on
Me:
excuseme?
Hi
m:Igothomeandy
ouwer
enott
her
e
Me: y
ougothomef rom where?Iwasn'
tther
e
becauseyouwer enotthere.Youshout
edatme
thenyouleftanddi
dn'tcomehome.
Bengizohl
alel
animina?
Hesi ghedheav il
y,scr
atchedhisheadthengot
up,2secondsl at
erhesatdownandwewer e
backathi m stari
ngatme.Isweari fIwasn't
angry,Iwasgoi ngt ol
aughbecausehel ooked
ri
diculousdoingt hi
sli
ttl
eperformanceofhis
Me: whatthehel
lhappenedkanti
?Oneminut
e
wewer ehappyaboutthebabythenyougoto
speakwithAsemahleandsuddenlyyouar
e
madatme.Whatdi dIdo?
Him:youdidn'
tdoanythi
ng.Iwasn'
tmadatyou,
Iwasjustangr
y.Angr
ywi t
hmy sel
f,angr
ywi
th
Aver
yandangr ywi
ththewor l
dnje
Me:Aver
y?WhatdoesAv
eryhav
etodowi
th
t
his?
Him:bef
oretheycangiveusthebaby
,they
needtodobackgroundchecksonustoseeif
wearesuit
abletobeparent
s
Me:OKIst
il
ldon'
tunder
standwhatt
hathast
o
dowit
hAvery
Him: Ineedhistesti
moni alAbongi
we.Ibeat
him up,it
si nt
hehospi t
al r
ecordsandbecause
I
'vecompl etedmyangermanagementIst il
l
needat estimonialf
rom himt osaythatI
'
mf it
tobeapar ent
,thatI
'verecoveredanddon't
poseadangert oanyone
NowIsighed.WhydidithavetobeAvery
?
Aver
yischil
dish,
hewil
l r
efusetogi
vethi
s
char
act
erstatementj
usttospit
eLimil
e
Him: Iwantustohav ethi
sbabybyt het
imewe
gotmar ri
edoratleastwhenwecomeback
from ourhoneymoonandseei ngt hewayyou
connectedwithpumpki n,
Iwasj ustsoangry
thatIwil
lbetheonet hatstandsinthewayof
herbeingours
Ichuckl
edsof
tl
y
Me:
pumpki
n?Real
l
y?
Hesmiled,i
tst
hefi
rstt
imehehassmil
edsi
nce
hegothereandIt
hinkhewasrel
axi
ngabi
t
Hi
m:i
tsacut
ename
Me:
noi
tisn'
t.Letmet
ryt
alki
ngt
oAv
ery
Him:no.Idon'
twanty
ouneart
hatguy
Abongi
we.Imeanit
Me:thenwhatar
ewegoi ngtodo?Li
mileI
'm
notlosi
ngt
hatbabybecauseofyouandyour
pri
de.Don'
tmesswit
hme
Him:I
'l
lfi
ndanot
herway.Ther
ehast
obe
anot
herway.Wewon'tl
osepumpki
n.Ipr
omi
se
you
Me:
hmmm
Hegotupf r
om hi
scouchandsqueezedhi
msel
f
nexttome.I'
vemissedhi
m,Iwon'
tdenymysel
f
thechancetohol
dhim
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryIsnappedaty
ou
Me:
youshoul
dbeandt
hanksf
ort
hef
ood
Hi
m:I
'
mfor
giv
en?
Me: onl
yifyoupr
omi senevertodoitagai
nand
cutitoutwi
ththestormingoff
.Ify
ouneed
space,gototheotherroom,don'
tjustl
eave
Henods, wr apshisarm aroundmethenpull
s
mecl oser.Wesnuggl einthecouchandI'
m
happyhei shere.Thet hingwit
hthi
soneisthat
heisawor kinprogress,someti
meswet ake5
stepsforwar donl
ytot ake15stepsback
Hi
m:l
et'
sgohome
Me:haiboLimil
eIhav
en'
tev
enseenmymot
her
ormalum Lubanzi
Him:ifwel
eav
enow,
theywon'
tknowy
ouwer
e
here
Me:hay
i.I
'
llseeyoutomorrow.Youmademe
sl
eepal
onelastnightsoi
tsyourtur
n
Hi
m:hawbaby.Rememberl
ovehol
dsno
r
ecor
dsofwrongs
Me:
don'
tcomeatmewi
tht
hebi
ble.Thi
sisnot
t
het
ime.
Wespendt womor ehour stogetherbeforeI
chasehim away.Thisissti
llmymot her
'shouse
andIdon'twantherfindi
nghi m here.Hesulks,
groansandmoanst ot heextentthatIalmost
fal
lfori
tbutIdon't
Hi
m:wear
egoi
ngt
ofacet
imenakedl
ater
Me:
mxm goaway
OnSundayaf terwhathasbeent hemost
rel
axingweekofmyl i
fe,I
'
m choosingtoignor
e
myman' sli
tt
lemel t
downmoment ,I'
m onmy
wayhome.Ihav esomanypi ct
uresofpumpkin
onmyphone, I'mreall
ylovi
ngthatchildandmy
heartwil
lbereall
ybrokenifweloseher .WhenI
gethome, mydadi schil
li
nginthegardenwith
hisnewspaperinhishands
Me:
sani
bonani
Dad:
youst
il
ll
iv
eher
e?
Il
aughasIwrapmyar msaroundhim,I
'v
e
missedhi
m.Iki
ndaf or
gotabouthi
m dur
ingt
he
weekbutI
'vemissedhi
m.
Me:
lol
hawbaba
Hi
m: It
houghty
oumov
edout
.How'
syour
mother
?
Me:shei
swell
andshesaidt
otell
youthatyou
hav
etogofort
hefi
nalf
it
ti
ngsforyoursui
t
Him:di
dy outel
lherthatIhaveasui
tinmy
cl
osetthatI
'v
ereservedforyear
sfort
hedaymy
daught
ergetsmarried
Me:
Itr
ied.Shei
shav
ingnoneoft
hat
.
Him:wel
lI'
m hav
ingnoneofherr
ightnow.
Angi
yil
apho
Withthatsaidhefli
ppedanotherpageofhi
s
newspaperandIwenti nt
othehouse.Iwas
exhausted,myimmunesy stem i
sgoingthr
ough
themostl at
ely
,I'
mt i
redandjustsi
ckl
yallt
he
ti
me.I 'm evenstart
ingtogetdi zzyspell
snow, I
probablyhav epneumoni aorsomet hi
ngdeadly
l
iket hat.Itakeabottleofwat erfr
om thefri
dge
andheadt omyr oom, Ineedanapwhi chItake
afterdowni ngthewat er
.WhenIwakeup, I
'
m
sweat i
ngandcol datt hesamet i
me.Itsa
Sundayl at
eafter
noon, wheret hehell
am Igoing
togetadoct oratthishour.IdialAl
wa'snumber ,
shei srich,sheprobablyhasadoct orthat
makeshousecal ls
Al
wa:
heybabe
Me:
heyar
eyouhome?
Her
:yeahI
'
m home.Youdon'
tsoundOK.
Me:Idon'
tfeel
OK.Doyouhaveadoct
orthat
makeshousecall
s?I
'
m notupfort
hehospi
tal
r
ightnow
Her:
uhm I'l
laskNokunqobatocomeseey ou.
Sheisbit
chysoIdoubtI'
llr
eachher.Youcan
tr
yOy ama.Heisapregnancydoct
orbutI'
m
sur
ehest
il
lremember
sthebasi
cs
Me:
lol
asf
orpr
egnancydoct
or
Shelaughsandassur
esmethatshewil
lcal
l
Oyamat ocomecheckonme.Thebit
chyZungu
doctorcanmissme,t
hestor
iesI
'
veheardabout
herarenoteasyt
oswall
ow.
Dad:
someonei
sher
etoseey
ou
Me:
pleasesendhi
m her
ebaba
Hegivesmethatrai
sedeyebrowslookandI'
m
noti
nt hemoodforhi
stendenciesr
ightnow
Me:
hei
saf
ri
endbaba.Li
mil
eknowshi
m
Ihaven'
tevent
oldmyf i
ancethatI'm probabl
y
goingtodi
ebeforetheweddi ng,hewor ri
estoo
muchsoI '
drat
hertell
him whenIknowwhat 's
wrong.Oyamawalksanddoeshi sthingt hen
asksmet ogotakeapr egnancytest.Iknow
whatthatmeansandi tisn'
tpossibl
ef ormet o
bepregnant
Me:
I'
m notpr
egnantOy
ama
Oyama:I
'
m notsay
ingy
ouar
ebutI
'
dli
ket
o
makesure
Ideci
detohumorhi m andgopeeonthestupi
d
sti
ckandgiv
ei tbacktohim.Aft
eraf
ew
minut
es,hegigglesthenshowsmethetest
Hi
m:somuchf
orI
'
m notpr
egnantOy
ama
Myeyeswidened,
itsnotpossi
ble.Thedoctor
sai
dthet
ubeswer efuckedsowhatt hehel
lwas
goi
ngon
Me:t
helastdoct
orIwenttosai
dIcan'
tget
pr
egnantagai
nbecausemylastpr
egnancywas
i
nthetubesandthetubebur
st
Hi
m:wel
lyoudoknowy
ouhav
etwor
ight
?
Me:
twowhat
?
Hi
m: t
ubes.Socl
ear
lytheot
heronei
sthe
r
easonyouarepr
egnant
If
eel
sost
upi
d,l
astt
imeIt
rust
edt
hatdoct
orso
easil
y,evenboast
edabouthowIdidli
fe
sci
encesi nhi
ghschoolandyetImi
ssedthat
partoftheinf
ormati
on.
Me: fuckpr egnancyalwaysjustmessesupmy
plans.Honest lywhycan'tIhaveanor mal
plannedpr egnancylikenormalpeople.You
knowLi andIar eintheprocessofadoptinga
babygi r
l.Nowwher eisthisonesupposedt of
it
i
nt hepictur e
I'
m poi nti
ngatmyst omach.I '
m sodef eated
rightnowhonest lyIwasn' texpectingthis,
pneumoni awouldhav ebeenfinehey .Oy ama
startsaskingmequest i
onsaboutmyper iods
andweconcl udet hatI'm 6weekspr egnant .I
can'tev encal
culatet heexactdaywhent his
babywasconcei vedbecauseaf terwef ound
outt hatwecan'thav eki ds,
wecompl etely
forgotaboutcondoms.God' sti
mi ngguy s.
Izokumangaza
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*38*
"Hest
olemyheartsoI'
m pl
anni
ngr
evenge.
..
I'
m
goi
ngtotakehi
slastname.
"
Thedat ei sSept ember8, I
'm supposedt obe
gettingmar riedtomor row.Ev ery t
hinghasbeen
organizedandsor tedoutbuther eIam
suddenl ysosi ckwhi chismaki ngmehi dingt hi
s
pregnancyr eallydi ff
icult.Ican' tkeepany t
hing
i
nandIt hi
nkmypar ent sar estar ti
ngt osuspect
somet hingiswr ong.Wor stpar ti sthatIhav en't
toldany one, i
tsasecr etIshar ewi thjustmy
doctorf ornowandwhatmakesmat tersev en
mor ecr azyisthatwear ebr ingingpumpki n
homei n4weeks, theper ksofhav ingawel l
connect edrichf iancé, hemakest hethingst o
happen.Heev engotAv ery'schar acter
statement ,Ididn'taskhowbecauseIknewi t
wasgoi ngtoupsetme.Ir insemymout hand
cli
mbi nt obed, IthinkI '
m ev enr unningaf ev er
butmydoct orsay sitsal lnormal ,I'
vebeen
what sappinghi m al lday.YesIhav emydoct or
onWhat sApp,that '
showpar anoidIam about
thispregnancy.Itwasnev ermeantt ohappen,
whathappenedt o" you'
llneverhav eki
ds".Mxm
doctorsshouldj ustquittheirj
obsandl et
Googlet akeover .Thereisasof tknockont he
doortheni topens, MaNt ombi walksinwitha
tray,
I'
m sogl adi tsherandnotmymot heror
mydad.Shesmi leswar mlyandappr oachesmy
bed,placesthet rayont hepedest alt
hensits
nexttome
MaN:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:I'
m st
il
lfeel
i
nghor
ri
ble.Idon'
tknowwhoi
s
cur
singmethedaybef
oremyweddi ng
Shesmi
l
est
henshakesherhead
Her:butAbongiweyou'
vebeensi
ckforweeks
now.OKi tcomesandgoesandithasn'
tbeen
thi
sbadbuti t
sbeenongoing
Me:
IknowmaandIwentt
othedoct
or
Her
:real
l
ynow?
Shegav emet hat"Idon'tbel i
ev eyou"lookbutI
wasn' tl
ying,Idi dgot ot hedoct ororr atherthe
doctorcamet omeandi nsteadofhi mt ell
ing
meIhav est omachf l
uorani nfect
ionofsome
sort,hetoldmeal ittl
ehumanwasgr owing
i
nsideofme.I '
vehad3weekst owar m upt o
theideaofLi andIhav i
ngthisbabyandIwi shI
couldshar et hiswi thhim butmyf ear sand
paranoiahav egot tenthebet terofme.Oy ama
advisedmeabouthowcr ucialthefirsttri
mest er
i
sespeci allyf orsomeonewi thmyki ndof
hist
or y,
itsnosecr etthatpr egnanci eshav e
beenmywor stnightmar e.Idon' twantLi to
havehi shopesuponl yforthem t ocome
crashingdownwhenwel oset hisbaby
Me:I'
l
l beOKma.Ijustneedtol
aydown.When
Iwakeup,Iknowmyf ri
endswil
lbecrowdi
ng
thewholehouseandI'
llhav
enochoicebutt
o
havefun
Her
:OKbuteatbecauset
hewayy
ouar
e
t
hrowi
ngupi
sn'
tgoodf
ory
ouort
hel
i
ttl
eone
Me:
howdoy
ouknow?
Her:I
'
m awomanAbongi we,I'
vehadchi
l
dren.
Yourfat
heriscl
uelessbecauseheisamanand
yourmotherdoesn'
tspendenoughtimewith
youtoknow
Me:
pleasedon'
ttel
lthem.
Her
:it
snotmysecr
ett
otel
l
.Noweatupt
hen
r
est
Thiswomani sGodsenthonest l
y.Thewayshe
takescar eofus,youcant ell
itcomesfrom the
hear tandshedoesn'tdoi tf
ormoney .Aft
er
eatingIsleep,I
'm al
readyexhaustedandov er
thi
spr egnancy,Idon'tt
hinkIcandot hi
sfor
40weeks.I '
m onlyonweeknumber9and
alr
eadyIf eell
ikeI'
m dying.Thischil
dwil
lbet he
deat hofme.I'
m wokenupbyLwakhoand
Liyanaj umpi
ngonmybed, agrownwomanand
grownmanwi thkidsarej umpingonmybed.I
can'
tdeal
Me:
thi
siswhyy
ourchi
l
drenar
ecr
azy
Lwakho:buddyyouaregetti
ngmarr
ied
tomorr
ow, weneedtopaintthet
ownred
Li
yana:
anddr
inkl
i
kecr
azypl
usIneedahook
up
Me:
hookup?Shaun?
Li
yana:
lef
thi
sass.
Me:
wowgoodf
ory
oumngani
Hav i
ngmyf riendsar oundmedi dl
iftmyspiri
t,I
wasnowwi thint heexcitement softhiswedding
that'
sgoi ngont omor row.Ifreshenedup, wore
adeni m shirtdr ess,caramel gl
adiatorsanda
bikerjacket.Tr aditi
onall
yI'm supposedt obe
i
ndoor spr acticingiStepfortomor rowbutI '
m
nothav ingthet radi
ti
onal wedding,withallt
he
cowi nsidest hatgoonmybodydur i
nga
tradi
ti
onal weddi ng,thi
schildwi l
lhaveaf i
eld
dayembar r
assingmesowedecidedtocuti
t
out
.IjustgaveLisomeexcuseaboutmydad
wanti
ngt hetwoweddi
ngstobeseparat
ed,at
l
eastay earapart
.
Me:
shal
lwe?
Yol
anda:
Abongi
wedon'
tembar
rassuspl
ease
Me:I'
l
lbesobert hewhol
enight.Wearenot
evengoingout.WearegoingtoYandi
sa'
s
houseforthenight
.
Li
yana:
aren'
twegoi
ngt
oAl
wa'
s?
Lwakho:Li
andAbongi
wecan'tseeeachot
her
bef
oretomorr
owandLiisatAlwa'
s
Yolanda:y
oubet
terbei
nbedandasl
eepby
midnight
Me:
yesmot
her
Iroll
myey es,
grabmycarkey
sandwedriveof
f
toYandisa'
swhil
ebumpingBl
ackCoff
ee'
s
album.Iwasreall
yint
hemoodforsomefun
now.Wegett oYandi
sa'
sandevery
oneIneed
ri
ghtnowisther
eandincl
udi
ngsomeoft he
Zungusi
ster
sandYandisa'
sfr
iends
Yaya:OKqui
cki
ntr
osbef
orewegetourbr
ide
drunk
Me:
hai
boguy
sI'
m notdr
inki
ngt
oni
ght
Alwa:l
olt
hat'
swhatyouthi
nks.That
'sSi
zo,
Nqo,SnqoandNoma.Mysistersinl
aw.Over
ther
eisTshegoandYat
i.Myfri
ends
Me:
nicet
omeety
ouguy
s
Alwa:Tshegoisal
soengagedsoyouwil
l
defi
nit
elybeseei
ngalotofheri
nthef
amily
Kwando:
Loy
iso'
sfi
ancéandbabymama
Me:
ohOK
Al
wa'
ssi
ster
sinlawal
llookali
ke,
Ican'tt
ell
whoi
swhobuttheyar
ef r
eakengorgeous
Yaya:
thoseareAl
wa'
speopleandt
hesear
emy
peopl
e.That
'sAay
ama,Si
hleandLi
yema.My
si
ster
sinl
awandmyot
herhal
f
OKaf tertheint
rosI'
mr eadyf orwhat everthisi
s
tostart.Weeatwhi l
et heconv ersat
ioni s
fl
owing, I
'
m hav i
ngfun, Iwon'tev enlieandt he
crazypartisthatbeforeImetanyoft hese
people,Ineversawthei mpor tanceofhav ing
fr
iendsandnowt hesamef r
iendsI '
vemadewi l
l
soonbef ami l
y.Mylifet hough, whataj ourney
Al
wa:
Abongi
wey
oucan'
tnotdr
inkbabe.
Luna:
yeahit
snotl
i
kemom woul
dknowi
fyou
hadonedri
nk
Me:
itsfi
neguys.Reall
y.Youguysdr
inkandbe
mer
ry.I
'
my ourBlesseraft
eral
l
Ihavemygl assofappl
eti
zeri
nmyhandandI 'm
OK.Nowt het hi
ngaboutt
hesewoment hatI
l
ov edear
lyisthatt
heyknowhowt odr
inkand
ri
ghtnowI '
mt heonl
ysoberoneandit
snot
even10pm y et.
Yay
a:Al
wamom sai
dwehav
etogi
veAbongi
we
t
het
alk
Alwa:shi
tbruhIf
orgot
.OKguysswitcht
he
musicoff
.Lwandil
eSmithwon'
tfor
giveusi
fwe
don'
tdothis.I
tsagoodthi
ngyouaresober
Abongs
Il
aughasIshakemyhead,
theyar
esodr
unki
ts
hi
lar
ious
Yay
a:mar
ri
agei
sn'
teasy
Al
wa:
amensi
ster
Ican'
tkeepast
rai
ghtf
acer
ightnow.Noone
canactual
l
y
Alwa:thekeytomakingthismarri
agethi
ng
workiscommuni cati
on.Youguysmusttalk,
all
theti
me.Ev eni
fitsaboutstupi
dthi
ngs,j
usttal
k
Yaya:yesdon'
twaitfort
her
etobeapr
obl
em
foryoutostar
ttal
king
Si
hle:andyouaregoingt
ohavetolear
nt obe
pat
ient.Wi
thyoursel
f,wi
thy
ourdaughterthat
youguy sar
ebringi
nghomesoonandwi t
hyour
husband.Pati
ence,communi
cat
ion,l
oyal
tyand
sacri
fi
ces.Thosearethef
ourpi
l
larst
omaki ng
amar r
iagework
AtleastSi
hlewasbeingel
aborate,unl
i
keAlwa
andYandisa.Il
i
stenedtot
hem at t
enti
vel
ywit
h
theint
enti
onofusingwhatI'
ml ear
ning
Kwando:
andwher
edoesl
oveandsexf
all
in?
Yandi
sa:
hai
boKwandowazi
ntoni
ngeSexwena?
Kwando:
dudeI
'
m 25,
Iknowashi
tlotaboutsex.
Alwa:sexfall
sundercommunicat
ionandl
ove
fal
lsundercommi t
mentwhichfal
l
sunder
l
oy al
ty.Kal
okwenay ouwi
ll
getthi
stalkwhen
yougetmar ri
ed.
Idon'
tknowwhopassedoutf ir
stbuti twasa
dominoesef fect
,mebei ngthelastonet oeven
getsl
eepy .Igottotheguestbedr oom, l
eavi
ng
thedrunkardsintheloungeandcal ledumunt u
wam.Wehav en'
tspokensincethemor ni
ng
andIknowIwastakingachanceoncal
li
nghi
m
becausehewasdrunkwhereverhewas
Li
:hel
l
omyangel
Ther
ewasnoi sei
nthebackgr
ound,
house
musicandalotofvoi
cesbuthewaswalki
ng
awayfrom i
t
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:nott
hewayImi
ssy
oubutguesswhat
Ismil
eandmyhandaut omati
cal
lygoestomy
stomach.Ir
eal
lywishIdidn'
thav
et okeept
his
babyasecretf
rom it
sfather
Me:
what
?
Him:aft
ertomor r
owI '
m neverl
ett
ingy
ououtof
mysight.I
'm goi
ngt obewakingupevery
day
nextt
oy oufortherestofourli
ves
Me:
andar
eyouexci
ted?
Him:Iam St
handwasam.Tohaveyouand
pumpkini
nthesamehouseever
yday.I
'
m aman
t
hat
'sbeenbl
essed
Heissodeepwhenheisdrunkandi
fIdon'
t
endthi
sphonecal
lnow,wewill
beonthe
phoneall
night
.
Me:Ilov
eyouLi
mileHadebe.SomuchandI
can'
twaitt
obeyourwi
fe
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouev
enmor
emyangel
.
WehungupandIgoti nbedwi thasmi leonmy
face,
Iplay
edwi thmyengagementr i
ngunt i
lI
fel
lasl
eep.I'
m get t
ingmar r
iedtomorrow, i
ts
fi
nall
ycomingt ogether
, mylif
efinal
lymakes
senseandallthet r
oublesI'
vegonet hrough
fi
nall
yseem li
ket heywer eworthit
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*39*
"Fal
l
inginl
ovei
seasy
.St
ayi
ngi
nlov
etakes
pati
ence.
"
Me:
babytodaymommyanddaddyareget
ti
ng
mar
ri
ed.Honest
lynooneknowsy
ouexi
styet
andtodayi
sn'tt
hedaytoseekatt
enti
on.Let
mommyanddaddyenj oythei
rday,mommywi l
l
gobacktofocusi
ngall
heratt
enti
onony ou
tomorr
ow.OK?
Isoundl ikeacr azyperson,I'
vel ockedmy selfin
thebat hroom andI '
m havingaoneway
conv ersati
onwi thmyunbor nchi ldbutser iously
Ineedmydayt obeperfect,Idon'twantt of aint
whi l
ewal kingdownt heaisleort othrowup
dur i
ngmyt oast.Ineedevery t
hingt ogowel l
andal lthisisatthemer cyofaf oetus.What
hast hiswor l
dcomet o.Thereisaknockatt he
door ,Iknowi tsmymot her.Shei smaki ngsuch
af ussov erme, tr
yingtohav etheweddi ngshe
didn'thavewi thuncleLubanzi throughmy
weddi ng.Bet weenherandt hischi l
dt hatI'
m
carrying,Idon'tknowwhoi stryi
ngt oki l
lmet he
most
Yolanda:i
tsal
mostt
imebaby
,youneedt
oget
dressed
Me:I'
m comingma.Gi
vemeamomentpl
ease.
I
'l
lbeoutinasec.
Itakeinadeepbreathandwalkout .Everyone
runsaroundhelpi
ngmegetdr essed, t
hemake
uppeoplearedoll
ingupmyf ace,mymot heris
shouti
ngordersatevery
oneandi t
sj ustchaoti
c.
Ireal
lywishIcoul
ddrinkri
ghtnow.Ineedi t
.
Me:OKguy shalt
.Mom gogetdr
essed,
Ihav
e
t
hisundercontr
ol
Shetri
estoprot
estbutI
'm nothav
inganyofi
t
ri
ghtnow.Ifmyunbornchi
ldcanbehave,my
motherhasnoexcuse.
Me: Lunathi
,Li
yana,Kwandoguysgetdr essed,
ther
ei snoneedfory out
obehelpingthemake
uppeopl e,t
heyknowwhattheyaredoingandi f
anyonei sal
lowedtobebehindscheduleitsme
andonl yme
Theyscat
tertofi
ndthei
rdr
essesandsuddenl
y
ther
eissi
lence,
Ibreat
houtandsi
gnalfort
he
peoplewhoaredolli
ngmeupt oconti
nue.When
I
'mready ,
Ican'
tevenr ecogni
zemy self
,Il
ook
photoshootr
eadyandj ustfl
awless.Thedress,
themakeup, myhair,everyt
hingisj
ustperfect
Li
yana:
youl
ookgor
geousmngani
Me:
yout
hinkso?
Kwando:aibr
uhdon'
ttel
lmey
oudon'
tseehow
beaut
if
ulyouare
Me:
thanky
ouguy
s.Let
'sgogetmemar
ri
ed
Wedeci dedtohav etheweddingatachapel,
it'
s
notli
kemydadwasgoi ngtogof ort
hewhole
outdoorweddi ngwewant edanyway.Heisat
mydoor ,
readytotakemyhandandgi v
eme
away .Hesmi l
es,t
hismani salwaysbeaming
wit
hpr ideatthemostr el
evantti
mes
Dad:
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulAbongi
wemnt
anam
Me:
youl
ookhandsomet
oodad.Il
ovet
hesui
t
Hewont
hesui
tbat
tl
ewi
thmymom andhei
sin
hi
scl
assi
cvint
agebl
ackandwhit
etuxwi
tha
bowt
ie.Mydadisacat
chguys
Hi
m:y
ourmot
herhat
esi
t
Me: l
oltodayisaboutmeandyousodon'tmind
her.Youraisedme,I'
mthewomanIam today,
abouttobesomeone' swi
feal
lbecauseofyou.
Onlyyou
Hesmi lesagain,wear ewal kingdownt heai sl
e,
alleyesonusandev eryonei sont heirfeet .
Ther e,atashor tdi
st ancef rom mest andst he
l
ov eofmyl i
fe,lookingev ersosexyi nhi snav y
tux.Ilookatmybr idal par t
y,Lunathi,Liyanaand
Kwando.Lor dknowshowmuchIhat edt hisgi
rl
backi nt hedaybutl ookathernow, withi
nmy
squad.Nextt oLimileisKwandi le,Alakheand
Shaun.Mydadhandsmeov ert
oLi mi l
e,they
hav etheirnonverbal conv ersati
ont henLi nods,
shakesmydad' shandt hent akesmyhand
l
eadi ngmet othepast or .Myhear tisr acing,my
palmsar esweat i
ngbutf ucki tI
'm bey ond
happy.Hepl
acesaki
ssonmycheekov
ert
he
vei
lthenwhi
sper
sinmyear
Li
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmyangel
Mycheeksi nstantl
yheat edup, Iwasf lushed,I
wasi nlove,Iwashor monal butmost
i
mpor tantl
yIwashappy .Ast hepast or
preachedaboutf i
rstCorinthianschapt er13
verse4-8,Li andIlookedateachot herand
smi l
ed.Thatv ersehassent iment alvaluetous.
Hegi vesmyhandasqueez e, y
ephehasn' tl
et
goofi tsi
ncemydadhandedi ttohim.Weget
tothev owsandIdon' tthinkIcandot his,my
heartisracingandIknowI 'm goi ngtomess
thi
sup.It akei nadeepbr eat h,Istareatour
handsandbr eatheout .I
'l
l Justpr etendlikeI'
m
tal
kingtojusthi m
Me:y
hotherearesomanypeopl
eher
eandt
his
i
snervewr
ecking
Ihearsof
tlaughsandl
i
ftmyhead,
ourey
es
l
ockandheissmili
ng.Idon'tknowwhybutf or
asecondIt
hinkaboutourbaby ,I
'm hopi
ngi
tsa
boyandhegetshi
scutedar kskinnedboy.I
smil
eandsnapoutofitquickly
Me: Ilovey ouLimi le, youknowIdoandI
rememberhowy oupr oposedt omehour safter
Ihadagr eedt obey ourgi rl
fr
iend.Ithoughty ou
wer ebeingcr azybutwhenIt hinkabouti tnow,
youal way sknewt haty ouwant edthisf orus, for
met obey oursfor ev er.Yousawt hatI
possessedt hequal itiesy ouwant edi nawoman
withinaf ewhour sandIcommendy ouf orthat
becausey ousawi nmesomet hingIdi dn'tsee
i
nmy self.You'velov edmedur ingthet imes
wher eIdidn'tlovemy selfandt hetimesIdi dn't
feelwor t
hyt obel ov ed.You' vewat chedme
grow, you'vewat chedl aughandcr yandt hrough
allofthaty ouremai nedconst antiny ourl ove
forme.I '
v ealway sbeeny ours,fr
om t het imeI
wasconcei vedinmymot her'
swomb, Iwas
yoursbutIhadt ofi
ndy ouandt hatwasn' tan
easyjourney.I
tisbecausey oulovemewi t
hal l
myf l
awsandi mper f
ectionsthattodayIv owt o
l
ov eyouev enwhenIdon' tli
keyou, totakecar e
ofyouev enwhenI '
m angr y
,tobel oyaltoyou
evenwhenwedon' tagreeoncer t
ai nthingsand
tomaket henecessarysacr i
fi
cesasy ourwife
whent hetimecomes.Il ovey ouHadebemy eni
wam
I'
veneverseenLi mi l
ecry,4yearsofacrazy
rel
ati
onshipandi tsonourweddi ngdaythatI
spothisfi
rsttears.Hel oosenshisholdonmy
handasIsl i
pt heringin.Tradi
ti
onallyIt
hinkhe
wassupposedt ogof ir
stbuttradit
ioncango
j
umpof fabr i
dger ightnow
Li
:I'
m notevengoi
ngtowipetheset
ears
becauseIwantyouseeandtotakei
nthaty
ou
makemeweak.
Agai
nourguestslaugh,
wear
ethei
r
ent
ert
ainmentIsee
Him: j
usttheot herdaymybr otherswer egi
ving
megr iefformar ryi
ngmyf irstgi rl
fri
endandi t
wasQhawet hatsai dsomet imesGoddoesn' t
givey ousomeone' shear tbef orey oucan
handl eitwhi chi swhyI 'm gr atefulthatImet
youatt hetimet hatImety oubecausehadI
mety ouear l
ierIknowwewoul dn'tbeher e.
You' vechangedmyl i
feAbongi weandt hatis
whyIcal lyoumyangel ,it
snotapetnameor
somet hingItakel i
ghtl
y.Iam t hemanIam
todaybecauseofy ou, I
'm aGodf ear i
ngman
becausey oui ntroducedt hei mpor tanceof
chur chandGodi nmyl i
fe.Youl ovedme
throughmymostt roublefil
ledt i
mes, you
stay edwi t
hmewheny oucoul dhav eeasily
wal kedaway ,you' v
ebeenpat ient,loving,
suppor t
iveinev erywayandasmuchasIknew
from themomentIl aidmyey esony outhatyou
wer etheone, I'
m gl adwewai ted.Youar emy
answert oev erythingthatgoesr ightinmyl ife
andIv owt ot akecar eofy ou, t
oshowery ou
withlov
ef orasl
ongasIsti
ll
breathe,torespect
youasmyqueenandt obeyoureverythi
ngno
mat t
erthetimeofday
.I'
m gr
atefulforyou
sthandwasam
Ourfi
rstki
ssasamar r
iedcoupl
ewasf
ir
eworks,
Idi
dn'twantittoend,
Ijustwant
edt
osuckf
ace
wit
hmyboy f
riend,
ohImeanmyhusband
for
ever
Li
:Mr
sHadebe
I
'm blushingfort
hemill
ionthti
metoday,t
oday
hasbeenper f
ect
.Mypar ent
sgotalongand
behav edthewholeday,mybabywasonhi s/her
bestbehav i
orandIgottomar r
ytheloveofmy
l
ife.Perfect
ionati
tsbest
Me:
MrHadebe
Hi
m:mayIhav
ethi
sdance?
Me:
ofcour
se
Ipl
acemyheadonhi
schest
,hi
sar
m goes
aroundmywai standourot
herhandsgointo
eachotherandwedanceslowlytothesoundof
Tamia'sSti
l
l.Thatsongi
sti
melessandI'm gl
ad
wegett odancetoit.
Me:
wear
emar
ri
ed
Hel
aughs.I
'
m st
il
li
ndi
sbel
i
ef
Hi
m:l
oly
eswear
e.I
'
myouri
diotf
orl
i
fenow
Me:
andIwoul
dn'
thav
eitanyot
herway
Hi
m:st
il
ll
oveme?
Ilaugh.Ev
enonourweddi
ngdayhest
il
lwant
s
tonsofassur
ance
Me:
lol
Imar
ri
edy
oudi
dn'
tI?
Hi
m:t
ell
mey
oul
oveme
Me:
Ilov
eyoubaby
Thenextdaywearesupposedtobeonaplane
toMauri
ti
usforourhoneymoonbutImadea
promi
setoafoetusyester
dayandhe/
sheis
cashingi
nonit.I'
vebeent hr
owingupal l
mor ni
ngandwheni tstopsIgettheurgeto
pukebutnothi
ngcomesout .I
'm def
ini
tel
ynot
goingtoMauri
tiustoday
Li
:babyI
'
mtaki
ngy
out
oadoct
or.
Me:
noi
tsnotnecessar
y.I
twi
l
lpass
Him:Abongi
wey
ousai
dthat2hr
sago.Cl
ear
ly
youaresi
ck
Me:
I'
m notsi
ckLi
mil
e
Igetupfr
om t hefl
oor,
rinsemymout hthen
walkbackintothebedroom.Wear einJo'bur
g,
weflewinlastnight
.Hel ookssosadand
worri
ed.
Hi
m:youwer
efi
ney
est
erday
,may
bey
ouhav
e
f
oodpoi
son.
Me:
comeher
e
I
'm si
tt
ingont
hecouchandheispaci
ngupand
downliket
hecraz
yper
sonthathei
s
Him:youknowifyoudi
e,yourdadi
sgoingto
kil
lmeright
?You'v
ebeeninmycareforless
than24hrsandyouar
ealr
eadysick
Me:gosht
hedramababe.I
tsgoi
ngt
omakeme
t
hrowupagai
n
Him:t
hisi
snotf
unnyAbongi
we.It
akemyv
ows
ver
yseri
ousl
y
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*40*
"
Don'tl
etf
earhol
dyoubackfrom enj
oyi
ngt
he
t
hingst
hatmakeyouhappy.
"
Ihadboughtapr egnancytestfort hetimeI
woul dmaket heannouncementt oLi mi l
e,Ieven
hadt woonesiespr i
nted,onewr i
tten"I'm goi
ng
tobet hebestbigsisteri
nt hewor ld"whichwas
goingt obewor nbypumpki nont hedayand
onewr itt
en"Ican'twaitt
omeety oudaddy "
whichwasgoi ngtoaccompanyt hepr egnancy
test.Ihaditallf
igur
edoutbutwi tht hewayhe
i
sal lworri
edrightnowandwant ingt odragme
tothehospi
tal
,Ijusthadt
otel
lhi
m.Ev
ent
uall
yI
gothimtocalm downandjoi
nmeonthecouch.
Me:
I'
m notsi
ck.I
'
m pr
egnant
Therewassi
l
ence,helookedatmeal
lconf
used
andIcoul
dn'
tbl
amehi m.Ital
sodi
dn'
tmake
sensetomeatf
irstbutherewear
e
Me:
Limi
l
e
Li
:how?
Thatcameoutasawhi sper
,theworr
yonhis
facewasn'
tgoingawaysoItookhishandsint
o
mineandlookedint
ohiseyes,hewastear
y
Hi
m:t
hedoct
orsai
d
Me:hewaswrong.I
'
m 9weekspr egnantandI'
m
scar
edbaby.I
'
m soscar
edLimile,whatifwe
l
osethi
sbabyaswell
?That'
swhyIdi dn'tt
ell
you,
Idi
dn'
twantyoutogetyourhopesup
Him:wewon'tlosethisone.Iknowi
t.Wow
babyyouar
er eal
lypregnant.I
'
m goi
ngtobea
dadt
wicei
noney
ear
Suddenl ythestress,worryandsadness
evapor atesandhei sallsmi l
es.Hei shappy,
genuinel yhappyandi nawayi teasesmyf ears
aswel l.Wedeci det oscratchthehoney moon
all
toget her,myonechancet obeoutoft he
count r
yandi tgetspushedasi debecauseof
thi
schi ldI'
m carryi
ng.4weekspassl i
keits
nothingandwear eatthesoci alservi
cesoffi
ce
tofetchourdaught er,
wehav ehadt hebest
ti
medecor at
ingthenursery ,
halfpinkhalfbl
ue,
pumpki nandav engeraregoi ngtoshar ei
t.I
don'tknowwher eLi mil
eget sthesenamesbut
theoneI '
m carryi
ngisav engerbecausehe/ she
i
sshowi ngmef l
ames
Mahl
e:OKguy
sjustsi
gnhere,her
eandhere
t
henfi
ll
int
hefor
mf orherbi
rt
hcerti
fi
cat
e
Me:pumpki
nisn'
tgoi
ngont
hatbi
rt
hcer
ti
fi
cat
e
Li
mil
e
Hi
m andAsemahl
elaughbutI
'
m deadser
ious
Li
:l
ol hav
ef ai
thi
nyourhusbandAbongi
we.
Usi
thandil
e.That
'shername
Me:
Ilov
eit
.Usi
thandi
l
eWasi
busi
saHadebe
Thischildisablessi
ngt ous,i
nsomanyway s.
Wef il
ledinal
ltheforms, si
gnedonallthe
dottedli
nesandwet ookourbabyhome.I
str
appedheri nthepi nkFerrari
carseatandsat
atthebackwi thher.Shei ssocute,Ican'
tget
enoughofherandIj ustloveher.Whenweget
tothehouse, I
'
m carry ingpumpkinandLiis
ri
ghtbehi ndme.Iopent hedoorandI'm
welcomedbyl oudscr eams.
Them:
SURPRI
II
II
II
SSE
Mywhol ef
ami lyi
shere,hisf
amilyi
salsohere
whichmeansi taful
lpar
t y
.Ther
earepink
ball
oonseverywhereandabannerwr i
tt
en
"welcomehomebabygi rl
".Aunt
ieLwar ushes
tomeandt akespumpkin
Lwa:
ncoahshei
ssocut
e
Me:
howdi
dyouguy
spul
lthi
stoget
her
Kwando:wel
li
twasal
lyourman'
sidea.Wej
ust
showedup
Iturntofacehim andheishov er
ingoverour
daughterwhileeveryoneadmir
esher.Shei s
enjoyi
ngalltheattenti
onshame,Ihaveaf eel
ing
wehav eal i
tt
ledi
v ainourli
ves
Yol
anda:
whatdi
dyouguy
snameher
?
Li
mil
e:Usi
thandi
l
eWasi
busi
saHadebe
Yaya:
yhobruhy
ouguy
sareworset
handad
whenitcomest
onami
ngkids
Li
mile:dudeyounamedyoursonOyandi
sa.You
can'
tsayjackshi
taboutmydaught
er'
sname
Theli
tt
lebabyshowerslashbabylaunchwas
j
ustbeauti
ful
,Wasir
eceivedsomanypr esent
s
butshegotovert
hefestivi
ti
esver
yearlyand
fel
lasl
eep.If
oundmy selfi
ntheki
tchenwith
Kwando,shewasdrinki
ngjui
cej
ustl
i
keme
whichwasstr
angebecausesheand
champagnearebestfri
ends
Kwando:
Abongi
we
Me:
hmmm
Her
:Ineedt
otel
lyousomet
hing
Me:
OKwhat
'sup?
Shelookedaroundt
oseei
fanyonewascoming
ourdir
ecti
onandwhenshesawthatt
hecoast
wasclearshespokeup
Her
:I'
m pr
egnant
Me:
what
?!
Her
:shhhhaw
Me:
sor
ry.DoesMi
hleknow?
Shenods.YhoIcan'
tevenpi
ctur
ehowher
par
entsaregoingt
otakethi
s.Ij
usthopeI
Won'tbedraggedi
ntoThi
sdrama.Ihaveachi
l
d
now,
Ineedt
ofocusonher
Her
:hewant
sust
okeept
hebaby
Me:
andwhatdoy
ouwant
?
Her:l
ookatmeAbongiwe.I'
m notmother
materi
al,
myparent
sdon'tknowaboutusand
you'
vebeeni
nthisfami
lylongenoughtoknow
howmydadi s.
Me:sowhatdoy ouwanttodo?Youar
esayi
ng
alotoft
hingsbutyouar
enottel
l
ingmewhat
youwant
Her:
Iwanttogetri
dofi
t.Assoonaspossi
ble
andIwanty
out ocomewithme
Me:
me?Whyme?
Her:becauseyouar
et heonl
yonet
hatI
'v
etol
d
andIknowy ouwouldn'tr
atmeout
.Pl
ease
Abongiwe
Thi
sisnothowIpict
uredthisdaygoi
ng.Why
am Isuddenl
ypar
tofherdrama?HayiIhav
e
enoughproblemsofmyown.Mi hl
ewal kedin,I
thi
nktheonlyr easonheisevenher ei
sbecause
hestaysinJo'burg.Hewr apshi
sar msar ound
Kwando,kisseshercheekt henl
et'sgoofher .
Mihleisahotguy ,nonotcutebuthot.Hehas
thesoccerplayerbody,caramelski
nned,
roughedupf adeandconf i
denceonf l
eek
Mihle:
Abongiwethankyouf
orhav
ingmei
n
yourhome.Ihavetogetgoi
ng
Me:t
hankyouforcomi
ngt
hroughMi
hle.I
ts
al
waysgoodtoseeyou
Weshar eahug, t
hetensionbetweenhim and
Kwandoi senoughtochasemeoutofmy
ki
tchen.Everyonei
sgatheredinthelounge,
havi
ngani ceconversat
ionsoIdecidetogo
checkonmypumpki n.WhatIseeint henur
sery
i
senought ogetmemel ti
ng.Theylooksocute,
Li
mi l
eissitt
ingontherockingchai
rwi t
h
pumpkinonhi schest
Me:
myf
avor
it
epeopl
e
Heopenshi seyes,seesmethensmil
es.Iwalk
towardsthem andthepri
ncessi
ssucki
ngon
herpacif
ierwhil
eresti
ngondaddy'
schest.I
kisst
hem both
Li
:shei
ssuchacut
ie
Me:Ihopeyouwil
lfi
ndhercutewhenshe
st
art
sscreamingi
nthemiddleoft
henight
Hi
m:l
olhasev
ery
onel
efty
et?
Me:no.Theyar
esti
llchat
ti
ngupast
ormi
nthe
l
ounge.OnlyMi
hlel
eft
Hi
m:l
et'
schaset
hem away
.
Me:
hawbaby
Him:what?Wehav
easmal
lchi
l
d.Theywi
l
l
under
stand
Me:
wel
lgoaheadanddot
hat
.Br
ingmybaby
Onl
ymypar
ent
swer
egoi
ngt
obest
ayi
ngwi
th
us.TheSmi th'
sweregoingt obedivi
ded
betweenQhawe' shouse,t
hehouseSosohas
hereandManqoba' shouseinMi dr
and.Igave
Wasi t
omymot herthenpreparedt
heguest
roomsf orheranddad.Whent heyweresett
ledI
tookaqui ckbat
h,Limadet hebott
lesthenwe
bondedwi thWasi
Li
:suchalongdayony
ourf
ir
stdayathomemy
pumpkin
Hepl acedaki ssonherl i
psthenonhercheek.I
wasenj oyi
ngt hispartofmyl i
fethemost.Iwas
goingtobet heki ndofmot herIwantedmy
mot hertobe, I
'm goi
ngt obethereforal
lmy
chil
dren'smilestones,I
'l
lbetheretoprot
ect
them andlovet hem somuch
Hi
m:what
'sony
ourmi
nd?
Me:
nothingreal
ly
.I'
mj ustt
aki
ngi
nev
ery
thi
ng
t
hat
'shappeningri
ghtnow
Hi
m:ov
erwhel
ming?
Me: nah.Notatal
l
.I'
mlovi
ngall
ofitespeci
all
y
becauseIgettoshar
eitwi
thyou.
Isnuggledcl
osertohi
m andwewatchedour
sl
eepingdaughtert
henheplacedhi
shandon
myst omach.Ismil
edthenpl
acedmyhandover
hishand
Hi
m:6mor
emont
hs
Isighed.Someoner emindmeagai nwhyI
thoughtbringi
nga3mont holdbabyint
oour
l
iveswasagoodi dea.Ididn'
tsleepawinklast
night,shecri
edandwhenshewasn' tcry
ingshe
waseat ingbutasthesuncameup, shewent
backt obeingtheangelthatIlove
Yol
anda:
youl
ookexhaust
ed
Me:
babi
esar
eani
ght
mar
e
Dad:
we'
l
lwat
chherwhi
l
eyour
est
Li
:thanky
ou.
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*41*
"Youcan'
tjudgemeformychoi
cesi
fyoudon'
t
knowmyr easons.
"
Li
mi l
eandIsl eptt
hewholemor ning,weneeded
arebootbecausewewer enev erreadyforwhat
hi
tusl astni
ght.Iwokeupbeforehi m,i
twas
half11soIt ookashowerandwentt ocheckon
everyone.If
oundmydadwat chingnewsand
mymot hermakingfor
mulaforWasi
Me:
issheasl
eep?
Yol
anda:
yesIj
ustputherdown
Me:
thankyouma,Idon'
tknowhowIwasgoi
ng
t
osurvi
vewit
houty
ou
Shesmil
ed,pul
l
edmei
nforahugt
henki
ssed
myfor
ehead.
Her
:It
hinkyouar
einov
ery
ourheadwi
tht
his
par
ent
ingthi
ng
Dad:don'
tpl
anti
deasinmychil
d'
shead
Yol
anda.Youwanthertol
eav
ethisbabywi
th
Li
mil
eli
key
oul
eftherwi
thme
OKthatescal
atedr
atherqui
ckl
yandIdon'
t
havet
heenergytoenter
tai
nthebot
hofthem
shame
Yolanda:
that
'snotwhatIwasdoi
ng.Iwas
abouttosuggestt
hatsheget
shelp.That
'
sit
Dad:
hmmm
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroatandt
heybot
htur
nedt
olook
atme
Me:uhm whatt
imedi
dtheSmi
thssayy
ouguy
s
ar
eleav
ing
Dad:
youwantust
oleav
e?
Yes!Il
ovemyparent
sbutthewayt heyfi
ghtli
ke
catandmousesometimesjustdr
ainstheli
fe
outofme
Me: nobababutIwouldn'
twantyoumi ssi
ng
yourfl
ight
.I'
m sur
eMaNt ombiisl
onelyinthat
bighouseandmaI '
m suremalum Lubanzi
mi
ssesy
ou
Yol
anda:
mxm asi
f.Wear
eleav
ingat2
Idecidedtousethist i
met opreparelunch,
Li
mi l
ecanmakedi nnerbecauseIknow
pumpki nwill
beupbyt hen.Imadebeefl asagna,
sti
ckywi ngsandGr eeksalad,di
shedupf ormy
parentsandmyhusbandwhowasnowawake.
Whenmypar entsleft,i
twasabi t
tersweet
momentespeci all
yf ormydad
Dad:
I'
ll
becal
l
ingof
tent
ochecki
n
Me:
yebobaba
Dad:
youbet
ternothur
tmydaught
erHadebe
Li
:Iwon'
tsi
r.Ipr
omi
sey
ou
Wewav edgoodbyeast hecardroveout
.Nowit
wasjustthe3ofus,j
usthowi tshoul
dbeand
howwewant edittobe.Ichangedpumpkin'
s
di
aperthentookhertotheloungewhereher
dadwaswat chi
ngarugbygame.Hi sfaceli
ght
s
upt
hemomentheseesus
Li
:weneedt
ocomeupwithaplanofhowwe
ar
egoi
ngtobewor
kingt
hroughtheseni
ght
s
Isitdownwit
hmydaught
eri
nmyarms,sheis
suckingonhert
humb,
shegotov
ert
hepacif
ier
alr
eady
Me:we'll
figur
ethisoutbabe.Lastnightwas
ni
ghtnumber1, westil
lhaveal otmorecoming.
Pumpkinwi l
lonl
ybe9mont hsol dwhen
Avengergetshere.Wearesof arfr
om having
peaceinourli
vesitsr
idi
culous
Him:andf
arf
rom havi
ngsexagai
n.Weare
goi
ngtoal
waysbetir
ed,cr
ackyandnoti
nthe
mood
Me:speakfory
oursel
fMrHadebe,I
'
m pregnant,
i
tsboundtomakemehor nyal
lthet
ime.Start
st
ocki
nguponr edbull
Thefol
l
owingdayIdeci
detol
eav
ePumpkin
wit
hLimil
esi
nceI'
m meeti
ngupwit
hKwando,
shebetternotambushmewi thherpr oblems.I
had3hour sofsleeplastnight,Ineedwi nebut
I'
m pregnantsot hatwon'tbehappeni ng.I
honestlyf
eelli
keI '
m azombi er i
ghtnow.We
meetupatMabonengandl uckil
yIfi
ndher
ther
e.Weshar eabr i
efhug,Iordercranberry
j
uicewhi l
esheor dersmangoj uice
Kwando:
youl
ookexhaust
ed
Me: hav
ingababyi
snochil
d'spl
ay.Theyare
cuteasangel
sduri
ngthedaybutthei
rcut
eness
goesdownwiththesunandtheti
nymonsteris
rel
eased
Shelaugh,shelookshappybutt r
oubled.Iknow
Kwandol ovesMihle,despi
tehim bei
ngy ounger
thanher.Howt hatboymanagedt ogetthr ough
herbit
chinessandi cequeenfact
orisbey ond
me
Her:Ir
eal
l
ywishIdi
dn'
tgetpregnant
,wel
lnot
r
ightnowatl
east
.Myli
feisonlystar
ti
ngnow
Abongi
we,mymanandIarehappyandmy
car
eerj
ustt
ookof
f.Idon'
tneedababyr
ight
now.
Me: butthebabyisherenow.Arey ousur
eyou
wantt ogot hr
oughwi t
htheabort
ion?Theaft
er
eff
ectsoft hatthi
ngalmostdrov
emecr azy.
Thegui l
talmostkil
ledme
Shef rownsthengetsasurpr
isedlookonher
face.Idon'tl
iket
alki
ngaboutthatphasei
nmy
l
ife,Iburi
editwit
hmyr el
ati
onshipwithAv
ery
Her
:youhadanabor
ti
on?
Inod
Me:itwasamut ualdeci
sionbetweenAvery
andI.HewasAl readyexpecti
ngachildwit
h
Aphelel
e.It
houghtIneededhi mt obether
e
duri
ngthepregnancy ,t
hatIwouldn'
tcope
wit
houthim.Iwasy oungandnai veKwandoand
i
ttookmef orevertoforgi
vemy sel
f
Her
:Mi
hlewant
sthi
sbaby
Me: t
alkt
ohim.Don'tgobehindhisbackand
ki
llhi
schil
dbecausehewillneverfor
giv
eyou.
ThatIcanbeton
Shesi
ghed.Weplacedouror
dersforfoodt
hen
j
ustdeci
dedtot
urnthisi
ntoalunchdate
Me:
I'
m cur
ioust
hough
Her
:about
?
Il
augh.Iser
iousl
ywantt
oknowhowitt
ook
Mihl
etogethertobehumbl
eandhuman.Mi
hle
i
sakidman
Me: whyMihle?Imeanyouhadguysfi
ghti
ng
overyoueUKZN, youar
egorgeousandyou
couldli
ter
all
yhaveanyguyyouwant.Whythe
youngsoccerplay
er?
Youknowt hatsmil
eyougetony ourfacewhen
yourfri
endstal
kaboutyourcr
ushandcal l
him
yourman?Orwhent heytal
kabouty our
boyfr
iend?Shehadthatsmil
erightnow
Her:l
oltheyoungsoccerpl ayerneh?Whenhe
gotbackfrom London,Ithinkhismaturi
tyjust
hi
tmel i
keawav e.Lastt
imeIhadseenhi m he
was15, Iwas17soIdi dn'tnoti
ceitbuthehas
al
way sbeenfl
ames.
Me:sohei
stheguyyout
oldmeyouwere
cr
ushi
ngon4year
sago?Thefami
l
yfr
iend
Her:
y eahandev enthenhedi dn'tnoticeme.He
i
sn'
tlikeal lt
heot herguy
s, i
tsthef actthathe
di
dn'twor shipmebutr athertreatedmel ikea
nor
mal personthatmademef allforhim.Heis
j
ustdifferent
Me:
lol
andhot
Shelaughedwhi
l
eshaki
ngherhead.Mi
hlei
s
hotguys
Her:yeahandthatt
oo.Hisbrot
herandmy
si
sterdatedf
orthelongestt
ime
Me:hi
sbrot
herisAlakher
ight
?Hei
stheone
t
hathas2kidswit
hYandisa?
Her:t
heyhaveonekidt
oget
her,
Luvuyo.
Lwandlei
sAlakhe'
schi
l
dwithhi
swife,she
passedawaythesamedayLwandl
ewasbor n
Me:
yhot
hat
'ssad
Her:
itwassadshame.Alakhewentinto
depr
essi
onandwasn'tf
ittotakecareof
Lwandl
esoYandisaandOy amaraisedher
Thethingswedof orthepeoplewel ov
e.Some
call
itmadness, otherswil
lcalli
ttr
uelove.I
'm
onthef enceaboutt hewholethi
ng,Idon'tt
hink
I'
dbeabl etodot hat.Ist
ayedwithKwandof or
anhourbef or edrivi
nghomet omypeopl e.As
muchasIdi dn'tchangehermi ndaboutthe
aborti
on,Iknowshar i
ngmyexper i
enceabout
thewhol ethinggothert hi
nking
*
I
tsbeenacrazytwomonths,I
'
m st
il
lon
materni
tyl
eaveandwil
lonl
ygobacktowor
kin
January
.Liwentbackt
oworktwoweeksaf
ter
pumpki ncamehome.Ourpr incessis5mont hs
now, shecannowsi tonherown, shelaughs
andgi gglessweet lythewhol edayandnowwe
haveest ablishedar out i
neforher .Liwant edus
togetanannybutIr efused.Istil
lhavet hi
ngs
undercont r
ol.Kwandodeci dedagai nstthe
abortionbutshest il
lhasn'ttoldherpar entsy et
.
Iontheot herhandam gai ningwei ghtl
ikecr azy.
I'
m obsessedwi t
hmybabybump, i
tsti
nybut
vi
sibl
ebutmywhol ef aceisswol len,myf eetas
wellandIj ustf eelheav y
Li:
wear efi
ndi
ngoutAv
enger
'ssext
omor
row.
I'
m exci
ted
Me:
itsaboy
Hefr
owns,t
hewayheissodramati
c,he
pr
obabl
ythi
ngsIwentt
othedoct
orwithouthi
m
Me:mymot hersaysit
saboybecauseofhow
hor
ri
blet
hispregnancyismaki
ngmelook
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulnj
emyangel
.
Heplacesaki
ssonmycheek.Hei
sly
ingt
his
one.Ther
earemi
rr
orsi
nthi
shouse
Me:
I'
m hor
ny.Wher
eisy
ourdaught
er?
Hi
m:shei
ssl
eepi
ng
Me:
let
'sgoupst
air
s
Hi
m:orwecanhav
esexr
ighther
e
Ismil
ewithmyeyebr
owrai
sed,
that
'
senought
o
getmyladybi
tst
ingl
i
ng
Me:
righther
e?
Hekissesmyneckwhil
esqueezi
ngmyboob
causi
ngsoftmoanst
oescapemyl i
ps
Hi
m:uhhuh
Wehadl azysexonthecarpeti
nt hel
oungeand
j
ustcuddlednaked.Wewer esolosti
nthe
moment, enj
oyi
ngeachother'
sbodiesthat
whenthedooropenedwef roze
Al
wa:
Whyar
eyouguy
s..
.ohshi
t
Bysomemiracl
ether
ewasPumpkin'
sfl
eece
bl
anketont
hecouchthatLi
mil
equi
ckl
ythrew
overus
Li
:whatt
hef
uckAl
wande?Don'
tyouknock?
Me:
howdi
dyouev
engeti
n?
Shelaughed,
I'
m gl
adshewasf
indi
ngt
hisf
unny
becauseIwasn'
t.
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*42*
"
Loyal
tyandorgasms,
that'
sal
lshewant
s.And
f
ood..
.don'
tfor
gett
hefood.
"
Al
wa:
I'
ll
bei
ntheki
tchen.Gogetdr
essedki
ds
Kids?I
nmyownhouse,I'
m bei
ngcall
edakid.I
l
ookatLimil
eashethr
owshisT-shi
rtov
erhis
bodyandputshi
sbr
ief
son
Li
:babygetdr
essed
Me:
wher
ear
emypant
ies?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknow,
lookf
ort
hem
Igi
vehim averyunimpressedl ookasIcl asp
mybraont henputonmymat ernitytop.Ican
seemyleggingsbutmypant iesar enoti nsight
andnowI '
m standi
nglookingliket hoseki ds
fr
om kasit
hatwal kar
oundwi thj ustaT- shir
ton
butnot
hingdownsout h
Li
:Abongi
webabycomeon
Me:f
indt
hem.Bekumnandi
angi
thi
whi
l
eyou
wer
etaki
ngthem of
f
Hemumbl essomethi ngunderhisbreathwhi
l
e
helooksfort
hem withnoassi st
ancef r
om me.I
di
dn'thel
phimtaket hem offsoIsureashell
won'thel
phimfindi
t .Ihearthesoundofthe
microwaveandI'
mt hinki
ngt omy sel
fhowthe
hel
ldidAlwandegetinher e?Thegateopens
wit
har emote
Li
:I
nagetdr
essed
Het
hrowsmypanti
esatmeandhei sannoying
mebutI
'l
ldeal
wit
hhisdi
srespectl
ater
.Iputmy
panti
esonf oll
owedbymyl eggingst henmake
mywayt ot hebathr
oom, Ineedt opeeand
probablywashmyhandsandr i
nsemymout h,I
washol dingandsuckingapeni snotsol ong
agobutLi ontheotherhandcoul dn'tbe
botheredwi thwashinganypar tofhisbody .He
hadhisf acebur i
edbetweenmyl egsl essthan
anhouragoandIwon' tevenment iont he
pl
aceshi sf i
ngerswerein
Me:
HeyAl
wa
I'
minthekit
chennow,sheisonabarchai
r
eati
nglef
toversamoosasanddr
inki
ngjui
ce
Alwa:heybabe.I'
m sor
ryf
orbudgi
ngi
nli
kethat.
Ididn'
texpectt
ofindyouguy
sdoingt
henasty
i
nt helounge
Sheistry
ingtohol
dinherlaughterbutj
udging
fr
om thelookonherbrot
her'
sface,heisn'
t
part
icul
arl
yhappywit
hherr i
ghtnow
Li
:howdi
dyouev
engeti
n?
Al
wa:
wit
hther
emot
eyougav
eme.
Li
:thatwasgi
vent
oyouf
oremer
genci
esonl
y
Al
wande
Alwa:wel
lyouwerenotanswer
ingyourphone
andIwastir
edofsit
ti
nginmycar.Ndicel
a
uxol
owethuLimil
e
Justthencr
iescamethroughf r
om t hebaby
monitor,
pumpkinwasup.Iwar medupher
bott
le,t
otal
l
yzoningoutofthesiblingsquarr
el
thenheadupstai
rstot
henur sery.Sheissit
ti
ng
onthecotcryi
ngupast or
m.Ipausef ora
secondandjustl
ookatherwhensheseesme,
shestopscryi
ngandIlaugh
Me:
awuy
ithandi
iAt
tent
ionkodwaUsi
thandi
l
e
Sherai
sesherarmsi
ntheai
rindi
cati
ngthatI
shoul
dtakeher,
andIf
all
int
ohertrapandpick
herup
Me:y
ourauntisher
eandI'
m goi
ngt
olether
t
akeyouandfeedyou.Pl
easedomeafavor
andthr
owupont
hatGucci
jacketofher
s.
Yezwababy
?
Ikisshercheekaswewal
kdownthestai
rs,
her
thumbisinhermouthasal
waysandsheis
l
ookingcuteasever
Al
wa:l
ookwhoisup.Goshthi
sbabygetscuter
byt
heday,
lookatt
hosecheeksandal
lthathai
r
Me:
wantt
ohol
dher
?
Al
wa:
def
ini
tel
y
Shewi pedherhandsthentakespumpkinand
placesheronthecounterandholdsherbot
tl
e
forher
Li
:mybabyi
sthecut
esti
nthef
ami
l
y
Alwa:ohpl
ease.Si
mphiwei
sthecutest
,
fol
lowedbyUsit
handi
l
ethenI
siphi
l
e
Li
:nobruhi
tsUsit
handil
ethenIsi
phil
eandt
hen
Si
mphiwe.Xhosakidsar
ecuterthanZul
uki
ds
Al
wa:
dudey
ouar
eZul
uwhi
chmeans
Usi
thandi
l
eisZul
uaswel
l
Hav i
ngtheset woinoneroom canget
exhausti
ngformebecausei tsalwaysone
argumentaftertheotherandI'
m st
il
lcuri
oust
o
knowwhyAl wai sher
e.Shehasamanand
3kidsinKZN, ufunani
la?
Me:sot
owhatdoweowet
hepl
easur
eofy
our
vi
sit
Shesi
ghs.OKsomet
hingi
swr
ong
Al
wa:
uMkhul
upassedaway
Li
:what
?When?How?
Alwa:ol
dageIguess.Gogosay
shehada
headache,t
heyt
ookhimtothedoct
orandhe
di
edont hei
rwayther
e
Li
:atl
easthedi
edpeacef
ull
y.How'
saunt
ieLwa?
Alwa:y
ouknowshedoesn'tt
akedeat
hwellbut
uncl
eSosoisbyhersi
de.Thi
smeanswehav e
togohome,toGr
ahamstownt hi
sweekend
Li
:yeahdefi
nit
ely
.WowIcan'
tbel
i
evegr
andpa
Hadebeisgone
Allthi
stimeI'
mj ustsi
l
ent,Idon'tev
enknow
thi
sgr andpaHadebeandt hethoughtofbei
ng
surroundedbythathugefami l
ywhil
eI'm
pregnantandhav i
ngtowat chPumpkinis
enought omakemyanxi etyshootup
Alwa:andi
hlel
inohlal
akul
eGol
iyenu.I
'
mjust
picki
ngupuKwandoanduManqobahast hi
ngs
todo.Wear el
eavingngo6
Li
:andbaphi
abant
wana?
Alwa:bashi
yeki
le.Abasi
booHadebemosabo
bantusondibashiy
enoDabawowabo
Li
andIlaughed,
Alwai
sthatki
ndofparent
,she
wi
llbev
eryenoughofy
ouquickl
ywhetheryou
ar
eherchil
dornot
Li
:l
olIf
eel
badf
ort
hoseki
dsy
az.Ny
anIdo
Al
wa:
hay
iLi
mil
efeel
badf
ormnabr
uh.Anqobe
j
ustturned10andhet
hinksheismysecond
husband.Ndi
mncamil
egqithi
lamnt
ana
Wespendt wohour swi thher ,listeningtohergo
onabouthowherki dsar edr i
vinghercr azy,
Limil
eandIcan'tstopl aughi ngandpumpki nis
enjoyi
ngtheatt
entionf rom herauntshame.
Around6Manqobaar rivedt of etchhi swife,I
sti
llf
eeluncomfortablear oundt hatguy .Hehas
toomuchmoneyf ormyl i
king.Af tertheyleave,
Icooksupperwhilebaewat cheshi sdaught er
thenheisinmykitchenbef or eI '
m ev endone
Li
:guesswhatKwandi
l
ejustt
oldme
Me:
thatKwandoi
spr
egnant
Hi
m: wai
twhat
?Kwandoispr
egnant
?How?
Kwandoi
sn'
tevendat
ing?
Me:OKclear
lyt
hat'
snotwhatKwandi
l
etol
dyou
sowhatdidhet
ell
you?
Hej
umpedonthecount
erandsatonit
.Wher
e
i
smychi
ldngobayenahei
snowcr owdi
ngmy
spacel
ooki
ngf
orgossi
p?
Hi
m: nol
eavet
hat.Iwantt
oknowabout
Kwandobei
ngpregnant
Me:
Iwasj
oki
ng.Whatdi
dKwandi
l
esay
Hi
m:Abongi
wei
sKwandopr
egnant
?
Me:
cal
lherandIask.Idon'
tknow
Hef r
owns,cr
easinghisey ebrowsandlooking
sodamnador able.Whatay esesmahnguy s.I
fi
nishst
ir
ri
ngt hebeefstew, cl
osethepotthen
st
andbetweenhi slegs.Igoonmyt oest
o
pl
aceakissonhi slips
Hi
m:st
opbr
ibi
ngmewi
thki
sses
Me:
stopl
i
kingnews
Him:mxm letmegoplaywithmydaught
er
becausey
ouar ekeepi
ngsecret
sfr
om me
Il
augh.Thedr amat
hatcomeswi t
hthi
s
gorgeousidi
otofmine.Hel
eavesmetofini
sh
cookingthenhebat
hshisdaught
erwhil
eIdish
up.Theycomeback,sheisdr
essedinawhi t
e
l
ightonesi
e,hepl
acesheronthefeedi
ngchair
andIfeedherpur
it
ywhichshespitsbackatme
Me:
Usi
thandi
l
emahn!
I
'm nowcov
eredinbutt
ernutpur
it
yandshei
s
gi
ggli
ngwhil
eclappi
ngherhands
Li
:i
sitt
hev
eggi
eone?
Inodwhil
etryi
ngt
owi pemyt
op.Thi
schi
l
dis
goingt
odriv
emecr azy
Hi
m:shehat
est
hev
eget
abl
esbabe
Me:sheis5mont hsol
d,shedoesn'
thav
emuch
pr
eferencei
nlif
e,shewil
lli
kewhatmommy
wantshertol
ike.
Hi
m:wellt
henmommywi l
lendupwi
thpur
it
y
al
lov
erherint
hatcase
Igivehimthesti
nkyeyeandhet akesov
er
feedinghi
schil
d.I'
m overhernow.Hedeci
des
toswapt hebut
ternutf
orapplesandhefi
nishes
feedingherwi t
hacl eanT- shi
rt.Mxm mustbe
nice.Whent heyar edone, weleav edaddyt o
cleanupi nthekitchenwhi lewewat chdiski
divas..
.theEngrish,theratchetbehav iorandthe
whol eideaofthatshowi sent ertaini
ngandI
fi
ndmy sel
flaughingev ery5secondswhi le
pumpki nismor einterest
edi neat i
ngt heremote.
Shef al
lsasleepinmyar msbef or eIsibay
aeven
start
ssoIt akeherupt othenur ser y
,tuckherin
thenkisshercheek
Me:goodni
ghtmyl
i
ttl
edi
va.Mommyl
ovesy
ou
somuch
Thereisnoli
et here,
Iloveherandshei
sadiva.
Lii
sstil
ldr
y i
ngt hedisheswhenIwalki
ntot
he
ki
tchensoIwr apmyar msaroundhi
mfrom t
he
backthenrestmyheadonhi sback
Li
:youwantmypeni
sdon'
tyou
Igiggl
e,Ican'
thel
pmy
sel
fbecauseIwasn'
t
expecti
ngthat
Me:l
olwhatiswr
ongwi
thy
ou?Youar
enot
ev
enthatsexy
Hetur
nsaround,nowwearef
acingeachother
andhehasthi
sperver
tedsmi
rkonhisface.I
t'
s
cut
eandannoyingatt
hesameti
me
Hi
m:r
eal
l
ynow?
Me:mxm yesr
eal
ly.Iwantnothi
ngofyour
s,I
j
ustwant
edtotel
lyouthatyourdi
vaisasl
eep
whi
chmeansI'
m alsoheadi
ngt obed
Hi
m:chi
l
lwit
hmeunt
ilI
'm doneher
epl
ease
t
henwecangot
obedtogether
Iagree,pourmysel
fyogur
tandul
tr
ameli
na
dessertbowltheneatwhi
l
ewatchi
nghi
m
Hi
m:babe
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:i
sKwandopr
egnantf
orr
eal
?
Me:
leti
tgoLi
mil
e.I
tsnotmypl
acet
otel
lyou
Hi
m:OKatleastt
ell
mewhogotherpr
egnant
.
I
sshedat
ing?
Isi
gh,tryi
ngmybesttogetmysel
foutofthi
s
conversat
ionbuti
tdoesn'
tl
ookli
keI
'm goi
ngto
succeed
Hi
m:youhidmychi
l
dfr
om me,
youowei
tto
metotel
lmethi
s
Il
augh,hei
sl aughi
ngt
oo.Hehasnochoi
ce.He
i
sbeingri
diculous
Me:
lol
what
?Thatmakesnosense
Hi
m: l
oli
tdoes.I
'
m cashi
ngi
n.St
artt
alki
ngMr
s
Hadebe
Irol
lmyeyes,I
'm mar
ri
edt ouMaMgobhozi y
az
guys.I
'
venevermetaguyt hatli
kesgossipas
muchasthisonedoes,t
hatt i
meI '
m noteven
houndi
nghimforwhateverKwandiletol
dhim
Me:yhoit
sbady
az.KuRough,
kuTough,
kuBuuur
d.
Hi
m:babyhaw
Me:
OKf
ine.I
'
llt
ell
you
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*KWANDO*
"
Idi
dn'tf
all
inl
ovewithy
ou,
Iwal
kedi
ntoi
twi
th
myeyeswideopen.
"
Hadsomeonet oldme15y earsagot hatI
'dbe
pregnantat25wi thMi hle'schild,Iwouldhav e
l
aughedatt heirper sonfort wor easons,fi
rstl
y
becauseIwas10y ear soldwhenImetMi hl
e
andhewas8.Wewer ebot hkidsbutIal ways
knewIwasol derthanhi m sot hatwoul dnever
happenandt hesecondr easonwoul dhav e
beenthatI'
m apr incessandhewasmor eofa
pauper.Him andhi sbr ot
herAl akhebutl ookat
usnow, we'vebeent ogetherforal mosttwo
yearsandIcoul dn'tbehappi er.Yesourbaby
wasn'tpl
annedandwoul dpr obabl ybe
nonexist
entrightnowi fi
twasn' tf
orAbongi we.
ThesummerAbongi wespentwi thmypar ents
changedal otoft hings, itchangedhowIsaw
herasaper son, shehasagoodhear tandI 'v
e
alway sbeent oomuchofabi tchtoadmi tthat
butal lt
hatat ti
tude, rudenessandar r
ogance
wasapr otectionmechani sm.Bei ngthel ast
bor ninasuchahugef ami l
y,especiall
yone
withsomanymal eshasn' tbeeneasyonme
whi legrowi ngup.Mydadandmybr other swere
ani ghtmar eonmysoci alli
fesoIr ebelled
bef oreIreachedhi ghschool andf i
rstyearof
highschool Ilostmyv irgini
tytoLi mil
e'sbest
fri
endatt het imej ustt ospi t
ehi m andal lmy
brot her
s.Ihadmyf irstsipofal cohol l
at erthat
samey earandwhenIcamehomedr unkone
Fridaynight ,It houghtmydadwasgoi ngt okill
mebuther eser vedmyear l
ydeat hforwhenhe
foundweedi nmyr oom j ustaf ewday saf ter
newy earst hef ollowi ngday .I
'm notpr oudofi t
butIr eallydidgi v emypar entsgr i
efbuti twas
myonl ywayofget tingt heirattenti
on,as
Kwandi leandIgotol der ,
ourpar entsjustgot
preoccupi edwi t hthelivesofourot hersibli
ngs
andwewer enegl ected.Myt winbur iedhimself
i
nschool wor kandspor tswhi l
eIthrivedin
alcohol andsex .Byt het i
meIr eachedmat ri
c,I
hadpr obabl ysl eptwi t
hov er10guy sfrom j
ust
ourschool alonebutInev erdatedanyoft hem.
Inev erdat edi nhi ghschool actual
ly,hadmy
fi
rstboy friendatUKZN.Hewasanhonor '
s
student , alway sbusybuthewasni ceandgood
l
ooki ngpl ushet reatedmel i
keaqueen.We
l
ast edf or2y ear sorsobef orehef oundaj ob
eMt hat haandt hatwast heendoft hat,it
snot
l
ikeIwasi nl ovewi t
hhim orany t
hinglikethat
butIdi dl ikehi m.Sot hesummerAbongi we
camet ov isithast obet hemostawkwar d
Decemberf orme, Isti
llgetgoosebumpsj ust
thinkingabouti t
Me:youl
ookni
ceMr
sSmi
th,
wher
ear
eyou
goi
ng?
Mom:
youknowy
ouwon'
tbur
nupi
nfl
amesor
t
urnt
oicei
fyoucal
l
edmemom
Me:
IknowbutMrsSmit
hsoundbet
ter
.Makes
mepict
urey
ouasAngel
i
naJoli
e
Webot hshareal augh,sheishav
ingjui
ceinthe
ki
tchenwhi l
eIopent hefri
dgeandtakeouta
canofr edbull
.Ialwaysstar
tmydaywi th
caff
eine,Ican'
tstandcoffeesoIoptforener
gy
dri
nks
Her
:I'
m goi
ngt
otheai
rpor
t
Me:whoiscomi ngover
?Goshwealwayshave
peopl
einthishouse,
asift
hisf
ami
lyisn'
tl
arge
enoughasitis
Her:Kwandodon'
tst
art
.Hei
sfami
l
yandhehas
missedus
If
rowni nconfusi
onasIopenmycanandt
ake
asip.Takesli
keheaven
Me:
whoi
sthi
snow?
Her
:Mi
hle
YhoIdon'tevenrememberthel astti
meIheard
thatname.Ihaven'
tseenthatkidsincehelef
t
togot oWestvi
ll
eboyshigh4y earsago.Hewas
15atthetimeandsoawkwar dandski nny
.
Me:ohthatchi
l
d.OKhavefun.I
'
m pr
obably
goi
ngtogooutorsomethi
ngsoIwon'tbe
homewheny oucomeback
Her:
nothi
ngnewaboutt
hatandLimil
e's
gi
rl
fr
iendi
scomingt
ov i
sitonSunday
Me:what
?Why
?Mom ser
iousl
yyoucan'
tdo
t
hattome
Her:i
tsyourcousi
n'
sgi
rl
fr
iend,
thi
sisnotabout
you.Bye
ShetookthekeystoherGwagonandwal ked
out,mymom issuchabosst houghandshei s
fr
eakengorgeous.Apparentl
yItookal otofher
l
ooksandKwandi letookdad'sbecausemyt win
i
sasy ell
owasev erandI'
m ont hecaramel si
de
oftherai
nbow.AfterI'
vetakenashowerIget
dressedinnavylaceshorts,abl
ackthinstraps
topandbl ackl
ouboutinl
oafersWit
ht hespikes.
Idon'tevenknowwher eIwanttogobutIknow
Iwantt ogosomewher esoIcallmyf avori
te
auntasIdr i
veoutthegate,aunt
ieLolz.Shejust
getsmeandsheshar esherwinewithme, mom
doesn'tknowyet
Lol
z:heybabygi
rl
Me:
myf
avor
it
eaunt
.Ar
eyouhome?
Her
:yes,
I'
m cat
chi
nguponGossi
pgi
rl
Il
augh.Shehasprobablywatchedall
6seasons
amill
i
ontimes,i
tspartofherrout
inefor
Sat
urdaylat
emornings
Me:lol
goshyourobsessi
onwi
thChuckBassi
s
get
ti
ngridi
cul
ous
Shel aughst oo.Il
oveaunti
eLolz,sheisso
chil
ledandl aidbackplusyouneverfindkids
runningar oundherhouselikeyoudowi t
hmy
mom' sotherfri
ends.Honestl
yIwantt obeli
ke
her;ri
ch,
nokids,nohusbandandahugehouse
wit
hawi necell
ar.Ipull
upatherhouseaf t
er
sheopensthegat eformeandshei sstanding
atthedoorwitht
wogl assesofchampagne.
SeewhatImean?Shei samazing.Weshar ea
hug,shehandsmemygl assandIfoll
owr i
ght
behindher
Me:
whatseasonar
eyouont
oday
?
Her:I
'
m notev
ensur
ebuti
t'
stheonewi
th
Pr
inceLoui
s
Me: Il
ovethatseason.Il
ovehowChuckwas
cl
aimingthathewasBl ai
r'
sloveofherl
i
feand
anyoneelsewasj ustawasteofhert
ime
Her
:andt
heny
ouexpectmenott
olov
ethat
man
Wewat chedthatwhol
eseason,l
aughing,cr
ying
andlaughi
ngsomemor eandofcourse
downingthechampagne.It
saround4pm when
Ideci
detogohome, it
sbeenagr eatdaybut
Mr sSmithhasbeenblastingmyphonesi nce
2pm.Istopbyt hegarage,buylotsofgum, a
bottl
eofwaterand24packsofr edbull.I
'm
downingthewat erasIdri
v ehomet henthrow
twopiecesofgum i nmymout h.WhenIget
homei t
sbuzzingasal ways,howIwi shIhad
stayedataunt
ieLolzfortherestofDecember
Mom: KwandoI
'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ouf
ort
wo
hour
snow
Me:Iknowmom,myphonewason.I
'
m goi
ng
t
otakeaqui
ckshowert
henI
'l
lcomedown
Imakemywayupst air
s,tr
yingmybestnotto
tr
iponthestairsthentakeaqui ckshower.
Showersaremi racleworkers,Ipromi
seyou.I
putonmypy j
amashor t
sandav estt
hensl
ide
myfeetintomysl ippersandmakemywayt o
Kwandi
le'sroom.Idon' tevenknock,Ij
ustwal
k
i
n.Ihaveallmyf ocusonmyphonesomyhead
i
slowered
Me:
twi
nIneedaf
avor
It
saf t
erIhadf ini
shedmysent encet hatIlif
ted
myey esandIt hi
nkmyhear tst oppedf ora
second.Whot hehel lwasthisnow?Theway
thetowel waswr appedar oundhi sbody ,the
i
ntensityofthosev -l
ines,hisabswer esoout
thereandt hoselips.Ineedt ost arthanging
aroundmybr otherifhehassuchhotf riends.
Wow.If oundmy selfswallowinghar dasI
l
ookedatt hisguy .
Kwandi
:yeswhat
'
sup?
Me:
huh
Kwandi
:yousai
dyouneedaf
avor
,what
'
sup?
I'
m sti
l
llookingatthi
sguyandhesmiles,
not
toomuchbutenoughf ormetoconcl
udethat
heisn'
treal.Ther
eisnowaysuchaguyexi st
s
especi
allyaphaeBhayi.Noway
?
?:heyKwando
Heknowsmyname?Butt henagainthereis
somethi
ngfami
l
iarabouthi
m butIcan'tputmy
fi
ngeronit
Me:
uhm hi
I'
mf r
owningandsmili
ngatt hesametime.My
i
nsideshaveprobabl
ytur
nedt owarmicecream
ri
ghtnowandal lt
hatwetnesshasmov eddown
southbecausethi
sguyisat urnonandahalf
Kwandi
:twi
nyouar
ebei
ngsowei
rdbr
uh.
That
'sMihl
e
Me:
what
?Nowaybr
uh
Mihlel aughs,act ual
l
ytheybot hlaughandI
don'tbuyi t.Mihlewasnev erfl
ames, OKhe
wasn' tuglybuthewasski nnyandawkwar d.
Therei sn'
tany thingskinnyaboutt hi
sguyand
nothingawkwar dapartfrom thefactthathei
s
maki ngmef eel awkwar d
Mi
hle:
lol
don'
ttel
lmey
oudi
dn'
trecogni
zeme
Me:
uhm i
t'
snotl
i
key
oust
il
ll
ookt
hesame
Mihle: I
'
vebeenpl ayi
ngsocceronanintense
l
evel forthepastcoupleofyear
sandt he
t
rainingr equi
resanextremeworkout
.Any way
l
etmegogetdr essed.Well
catchuplaterguys
Wit
hthatsai
dhewal
kedoutandIl
ookedat
Kwandi
le
Kwandi
:what
'st
hisl
ooknow?
Icl
earmyt
hroatt
hent
hrowmy
sel
fonhi
sbed
Me:look?Whatl
ook?Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
e
t
alki
ngabout
Hi
m: hmmm y
ouacti
ngWei
rd.Any
waywhat
f
avordidy
ouwant
?
Me:
ohIwantdat
abr
o.Khawenzemahn
Hi
m:saypl
ease
Me:real
lyKwandi
l
e?Youknowt hatwor
d
doesn'
texi
sti
nmyl i
fe.Khawenzewethu.
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*KWANDO*
"
Nev
erset
tl
eforany
thi
ngl
esst
hanbut
ter
fl
ies.
"
Asmuchasatt het i
meIwasn' tawar eofit,Ifel
l
i
nl ov ewi thMi hler i
ghtt herei nmybr ot
her's
room.Myhear twoul draceev eryt i
mewe
bumpedi ntoeachot herint hepassageorwhen
wewoul dbei nthesamer oom.Mymout h
woul dgocompl etelydr ywhenIhear dhi svoice,
hedi dn'tev enhav etobet alkingt omebut
hear i
ngi tal way sleftmef eelingsomet hingI '
ve
nev erfeltbef ore.I'vebeenat tractedt oguy s
bef orebutnev erliket hisandhi sbodywasj ust
godl y,t
het highs,thebowl egsandhi sbiceps.
Ai ngeke, Iwasgoi ngt olosemymi ndbecause
oft hi
sguy ,howi sitev enpossi blethatI'm
squi r
mi ngoutofmycomf ortzone, feeli
ng
foreignt hingsbecauseofaki d.Phel aMi hleisa
teenager ,I'm 21andhei s19.Ij ustf i
nished
varsityandhej ustst artedv arsitybutnot hing
aboutt hewayhemademef eel sai
dhewasa
kid.I tsbeent woweekssi ncehegother eand
I'
vebeent hrowi nghintsbutnot hingf r
om hi s
side.I tswasasi fhewasseei ngasi steri nme
orsomet hingandwhenIt oldAbongi wel ast
weekwhenshewasher et hatIhaveacr ushon
him, Idi dn'
tt ellherhisnameobv iously, shesai d
Ishoul dmakemymov e.Hel l
no.Shei scr azy,
I'
m Kwandi leMacySmi th,Igetchased, Inev er
dot hechasi ng.Toni ghtisdat enightformy
par ent s, i
tst he15t hofDecemberandwear e
stuckathomewat chingtheki ds.Ther ear e
alway ski dsher e.Al l
thetime.Qhawe, Loy iso,Li
andShaunar eoutsoi t
sjustme, Kwandi le,
Mi hleandt heki ds.I'
mi nmyr oom, earphones
pluggedi nandst alki
ngBonangonI nst agr am.
I'
m obsessedwi thQueenBandSupaMega,
theyar esoador abletogether.Whenmydoor
opens, Itakeoneheadsetoutmyeart hensi tup
Kwandil
e:wear
ehi
tt
ingt
hebeachtomor
row,
ther
eissomemusi
cfest
ival
happeni
ngt
here
Me:
def
ini
tel
ybr
o,countmei
n
Hi
m: wejustmadealotofpopcornandwear e
watchi
ngmov i
esi
nthetheaterr
oom, wanna
j
oin?
Ishakemyhead,wit
hMi hl
egivi
ngmezer o
att
enti
onwhil
eI'
m goingcrazyoverhi
m,I
've
j
ustdecidedt
oavoi
dhi m.I
t sf
orthebest
Him:comeonKwando.Wear ewatchi
ngal
l
yourfav
orit
es.Thenot
ebook,TheVow,Not
Easi
lyBrokenandDearJohn
HehadmeatDearJohn, I
'm obsessedwiththat
mov i
eandIwon' tmissitj
ustbecauseofa
19yearoldkidthatwon'tl
ookatmet wi
ce.I
l
eav emyphoneont hebed,doaqui ckcheckin
themirrorandwhenI '
m goodtogoIheadout
tothetheaterr
oom ont hetopfloor
.
Me:
wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Kwandi
:asl
eep.Wear
ewatchi
ngal
l4movi
es
ri
ght
?Noonef al
l
sasl
eepbef
oret
heyar
eover
Me:
I'
m game
Allt
histi
meIhaven'tl
ookedinMi
hle'
sdi
rect
ion,
heistypi
ngonhisphonewhichmakesme
wonderifhei
sdating.Someoner
emindme
againwhyIcar
e?
Kwandi
:heeehMihl
eyouhaven'
tputy
ourphone
downtoday,
youhaveagi
rlnoworwhat?
I'
m holdingmybreath,anti
cipat
ingtheanswer
whilepretendi
ngtobescoopi ngpopcornfr
om
themachi ne.Myheartisevenracingandit
speedsupwhenhel aughs.OhsweetJesust hi
s
i
st ort
ure
Mi
hle:
lol
yeahsomet
hingl
i
ket
hat
Iexhalesadly,
nowitmakessensewhyhe
wasn'tlooki
ngatmet wice,hehasagir
lf
ri
end.
Mxm Imakeament alnotetoaskmom
tomorrowmor ningwhent hi
schil
disl
eavi
ng.
Mnasendi ri
ghtngayengok
It
akeacanofr
edbul
lfr
om t
hef
ri
dge,
apacket
ofgummybear
sthensi
tcomf
ort
abl
yont
he
couchandr
ecl
i
netheseat
Kwandi
:whatdoy
oumeansomet
hingl
i
ket
hat
?
Ei
thery
ouhaveagir
lornah
Theyalr
eadyhavesnackssoIchooseNot
Easi
lyBrokenf
ir
standitst
art
s
Mihl
e:i
tscompl i
cat
ed.WedatedinLondonand
wedidn'
tbreakitof
fwhenIleftbutI
'
m not
goi
ngbackt her
esoangisekhokuye
Ifyou'veev erwat chedwr estl
ingy ou'
dknow
whoTheUnder takeri
sandy ou'dbev er
y
fami l
iaroft hewayhej ustwakesupaf t
erhis
opponent sthinktheyar edonewi thhim.My
i
nnerdi v
aj ustpulledthatsignatureundertaker
situpwhenMi hl
esaidt hatandIsmi lekancinci
.
Wear enotsi tti
ngnextt oeachot herbutwear e
sitt
ingcl oseenought ohav eaf l
owing
conv ersationandImustsayI '
m hav i
ngagood
ti
me.Wel augh, Icrybecauset hesemov iesstil
l
gi
vemechestpainsandt heylaughatme
becauseI
'
m cry
ing.It
'sat3:30am t
hatwe
deci
detocal
li
tani ghtorrathermorni
ng.
Me:Mihl
eareyoucomi
ngt
othef
est
ival
att
he
beachl
atert
oday
?
Hestretches,hisT-
shir
tri
sesupali
tt
leandI
spothisvlines.Thi
xo.Iswal
lowhar
d
Mihl
e:y
eahKwandiletol
dmeabout.Beaches
meanhalfnakedgi
rl
sandI'
m downforthatany
day
Ir
oll
myeyesandhim andKwandil
edowhat
l
ooksli
keahandshakebutI
'
m notevensur
e
Me:
ohgosh.I
'
m of
ftobed.Lat
ersguy
s
Mihlefol
lowsmet omyroom forsomestr
ange
reasonandwhenIgettothedoorheleans
againstt
heframeandlooksatmewi t
hhalfa
smile.What'
shappeni
nghere?
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Him:Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
out
hat
.Iknowy
ou'
ve
beenavoidi
ngme
Me:Idon'tknowwhatyouar
etal
ki
ngabout.I
j
ustsatthrough4movi
eswit
hyou,howi
sthat
meav oi
dingyou?
Hestar
edatmef orawhi
le,
myhearti
sbeati
ng
sofast
,I'
m af
rai
dit
sgoi
ngtost
op.Iswal
low
spi
t
Hi
m:hmmm i
fyousayso.Ul
alekahl
eKwando
Me:
uhm sur
e.Samet
oyou
Iclosethedoor.Samet oy ou?Real l
yKwando?
It
s11am whenIwakeupt henextday ,Idon't
feelli
keI'
vebeensleepingf or7hrs.Ineedf ood,
IneedashowerandIneedr edbullbut
defini
tel
ynotinthatorder.Showerf i
rst
foll
owedbyf oodthenredbul l
.Aftermyshower
Iwearagr eylongsundr esst hathugsmybody
perfectl
yandhaslongsl i
tsonei therside.Iti
e
myweav einamessybunt henheaddown
stairswi
thmyFentybyRi
hannasl
i
pper
s.Those
thingsar
ecomfort
able
Me:
mor
ningf
ami
l
y
Every
onei sher
e,thekidsar
eoutsi
de,t
hesmal
l
onesaren'ti
nsightandYandisai
sn'
ther
esoI'
l
l
assumet heyar
ewi thher
Loy
:isi
tst
il
lev
enmor
ning?
Me:
youl
ookdr
unk
Loy
:ndzakbet
ha
Isti
ckmyt ongueoutathim andlookf ormy
foodinthewarmerthenpourmy sel
fagl assof
water.I
'm notafanofj
uiceorcol ddr
ink.Its
eit
herwaterorredbull
.I'
m si
tti
ngbyt he
counterwhenKwandilejoi
nsme
Kwandi
:wear
eleav
ingat3
Me:
whysoear
ly?
Him:weneedtostockuponalcohol
andmeat
befor
eshopscl
ose.It
saholi
dayremember
Me:
shootandIst
il
lneedanout
fi
t
Ifi
nisheat
ingt
hengosuckuptomybr
other
,I
needmoneyandcurr
entl
yI'
m br
oke
Me:
Qhawey
ouknowIl
ovey
our
ight
Q:
Idon'
thav
emoneyKwando
Dad:youar
eadoct
or,
giv
eyoursi
stermoney
t
chin
HeopenshisWall
etwhilemumbl i
ngsomethi
ng
thatonl
yhecanhearthenhetakesout7R200
notesand1R100note.Iwrapmyar msar
ound
himthenki
sshischeek
Me:
thanksbi
gbr
o.Youar
ethebest
Q:notsofast,
youarewatchi
ngthetr
ios
Satur
daynight
.Si
hleandIhavedatenight
Wowsomuchf orbr
othersist
erl
ylove.Iget
anotherR1500f
rom Loyi
so,R1000from Liand
R1000f r
om mydad.5grandshouldbeenough
topushmeunt i
lChr
istmas.Don'
tjudgemebut
Ihaveatal
entf
orspendi
ngmoneyr eckl
essl
y.
Wedecidetousesepar
atecarsfornowbutwe
wil
luseonecartogotothebeach.Igr
abacan
ofredbul
l,
mycarkeysthenbidthefamil
y
goodbye
Mihl
e:Kwandowai
t,Ineedsomethi
ngat
Walmerpar
kaswellsocanIcatchari
dewi
th
you
Ican'texactlysayno, Ihavenor easonto
becauseI '
m goi ngthereaswel l
.Hewal ks
towardst hedoordr essedinstonewashed
denim shor t
swhi chshowhi slegsper f
ectl
y,a
greyT-shirtwithblackdetail
onhi schest,a
blackbasebal lcapisinhishandsandhei s
wearingpl ai
nwhi teRoshesneaker s.Simpl
ey et
sohot
Me:
youcandr
iver
ight
?
Hechuckl
es
Hi
m:y
eahIcanandIhav
eal
i
cense.Igoti
tlast
y
earDecember
Me:
comf
ort
ing
Igi
vehim mykey s,I
'mtooti
redt odr
iveany
way .
Thedri
vetoWal merparkisnice.Wearetal
king
aboutnonsense,I
'mlaughi
ngt hemostbecause
Mihlei
sfunnyandt hi
sisnotmycr ushonhim
tal
ki
ngbutitsthetrut
h.
Me:
sowhatdoy
ouwanther
e?
Wej
ustent
eredandIknowI
'
m headi
ngtoZara,
t
hat
'swher
eI'
m get
ti
ngmyoutf
itf
ortoni
ght
Hi
m: t
ospendt
imewi
thy
ou.You'
vebeen
av
oidi
ngme
Me:seri
ousl
y?Pleaset
ell
mey
ouar
ejoki
ng.I
hav
en'tbeenav
oidingy
ou
Hi
m: t
henyouwil
lhav
enoprobl
em havi
ng
l
unchwit
hme.Justmeandyou.Yourbr
other
s
ar
egoingtoGr
eenacr
eany
way
Iswal
l
owspi
t.Gosht
hisguyt
houghandi
tsnot
l
ikehei sbei ngfl
ir
tyorany t
hingexci
tingli
ke
thatbuthei sbeinglikealitt
lebr
otherthathas
beennegl ectedbyhi ssi
ster.Idr
aghi mtoZara
whereIbuyr idi
cul
ouslyexpensivecutoff
shortsandabi ki
nithenwemov etosunglass
hutwher eIgetshadesandIset tl
eforaloose
covertopf rom Edgars.I
'
lljustwearitovermy
biki
ni.
Mi
hle:
pleaset
ell
mewear
edone
Me:
don'
trushme.Youwant
edt
obeher
e
Helaughsthent
akesmyshoppi
ngbagsf
rom
me.Atleasthei
sagent
leman
Hi
m: OKifwearenotdonecanweatl
eastst
op
f
orlunch.I
'
m hungr
y
Me:
OKIwantsushi
sol
et'
sgot
oJohnDor
y'
s
Iordersushi
wi t
hagl assofwinewhi
lehe
sti
ckstoboringfi
shandchi psandCast
lel
it
e.I
di
dn'tknowhedr inks.
Me:
youshoul
dtr
ythei
rsushi
,i
t'
samazi
ng
Hi
m: Ihaveathi
ngagai
nstrawfood.I
'
llst
ickt
o
t
his.Anywaysowhyhaveyoubeenavoidi
ngme?
Irol
lmyeyesasItakeasi
pofmywi
newhi
ch
tast
esamazingbytheway
Me:
canwenotgot
her
eagai
n?
Hi
m:soy
oudoadmi
tthaty
ou'
vebeenav
oidi
ng
me?
Me:no.Howdoyouev
encomet othat
concl
usi
onwhenwehardl
yhangout
Him:t
hat
'sbecauseInot
iceev
ery
thi
ngabout
you
Me:
ohpl
ease.Don'
tl
ie
Heplaceshi
sfor
kandknif
eonthetabl
ethen
l
eansbackonthechai
randst
aresatme.Ilook
away
Hi
m:ohy
oudon'
tbel
i
eveme?
Ishakemyheadwhi
l
ekeepi
ngi
tlower
ed
Him: Inoticet hatyoucan' tkeepey econt act
withmef orl ongerthan5secs, Inoti
cehow
yourbr eathingchangesassoonasIwal kintoa
room, howy oust opwhat every ouaredoi ngas
soonasy ouhearmyv oice,ev enwhenI '
m not
tal
kingt oy ouandI 'venoticedt hatyou'v
ebeen
avoidingme.Youar enev erhomedur ingthe
daywhenI 'm around, wheny ouseemewal k
i
ntoar oom y ouar ein,y
oupr etendyourbat t
ery
i
sl owandy ouneedt ochar ge.
Iswal
lowthefoodi
nmymout hbeforeli
ft
ing
myheadupandourey esl
ockandindeedIlook
awaywit
hin3secsandhechuckl
eswhile
shaki
nghi
shead
Hi
m:seewhatImean?
Me:soy
ouonlynot
icethet
hingst
hatar
e
r
elat
edt
oyou?Obnoxiousmuch?
Hi
m:no,
Iwasj
ustst
ati
ngt
heobv
iousbutI
coul
dgooni
fyouwantmet
o
Me:
humorme
Het akesasi pofhisbeer,
hehasn' tt
akenhis
Eyesof fmesi ncehestoppedeat ing.Hestart
s
goingonabouthowhehasnot i
cedt hatI
'm
guarded,thatIactmeanandt oughbutst i
llcr
y
toThev owandDearJohn, thatIisolatemyself
whenIf eelreject
edandthatasmuchasI '
d
neversayi t
,Ireal
lyl
ovemysi blings
Hi
m: Inot
iceever
ythi
ngabouty
ouKwando.I
ts
di
ff
icul
tnotto
Me:
whyi
sthat
?
Thatwasnoti nt
endedtocomeoutasa
whisperbutI
'm sotakenbythisconver
sat
ion
thatIdon'
tevenhavecontroloversi
mplet
hings
l
ikethevolumeandt oneofmyv oice
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*KWANDO*
"
Hebr
okedownherwal
l
sandwi
thoutev
en
r
eal
i
zingi
t,shel
ethi
min.
"
Me:y
ou'
l
lknowassoonasy
oust
opav
oidi
ng
me
Andj ustli
ket hathewentbackt oenjoyinghis
meal .Icouldbei maginingitbutIthi
nkwej ust
sharedamoment .Hehasbeennot i
cingmey et
hehasn' tmadeamov eonme.Heknowst he
eff
ecthehasonmebuthehasj ustbeenSt evie
Wondert oallofit
.It
'sar ound15:20whenwe
pull
upatGr eenacres,theconv ersat
ionf r
om
earl
ierhasl ongbeenputt obedandnowwear e
tal
kingaboutt oni
ght.Wemeett heSmi thboy s
atShopr it
eLiqour
Loy:
youknowt
heydon'
thav
echampagneher
e
ri
ght
?
Me:Idon'
twantchampagne,
stopcomi
ngatme
wi
thnonsense
Loyi
soi
s30butbehav
esli
kea12yearol
d
al
most90%oft
hetime,al
way
sthr
owingshade
mywayandannoy i
ngme.Theboysst
ockupon
beerandwhiskeywhil
eIthr
owinabott
leof
greygoose,34packsofr
edbul
landtwobott
les
ofDrostdyHof
Li
:andt
hent
hewi
ne?
Me:
it'
sforLi
yana
Shaun:
fuckno.Puti
tback
Me:li
stenwear
enotrol
l
ingwi
thy
ouguy
sso
Shaundon'
tst
artwi
thme
Shaun:
Kwandoi
fyougetherdr
unk,
I'
ll
deal
wit
h
you
Me:
dudecomeonhaw
Theyhadalreadyboughtt hemeatsowej ust
wenthome, Itookaqui ckshowert henwor emy
newlyboughtout fi
twithmyFent ysli
ppers,
packedatowel ,underwear,t
oil
etri
esanda
secondoutf
itwhi chwasj ustj
eans, t
hebeachi s
coldi
ntheear l
yhour softhemor ning.It
hr ew
myphoneandpur sei nthereaswel lthenwent
downst airs.Theguy sdidn'
tev enbot herto
change.Thecool erboxes, campchai rsand
braaistandwer eloadedi nKwandi l
e'sJeepand
wewer eof ftopi ckLi yanaupt hent ot hebeach.
Youcannev ergowr ongwi thGqom musi ci n
Decembersot hat'
swhatwasbl ast
ingt hrough
thespeaker s.Thev i
beatt hebeachwason
someot herl ev el,DreamTeam wasper forming
whenwear rived.Theboy sbr aai'dt
hemeat
whilewechi lled, Liyanawi thherwi negl assin
herhandandmewi thmyr edcupt hathad
vodkaandr edbul l
.Ev erynowandt henI '
dfind
my sel
fwat chi ngMi hleashest oodov erthe
braaistandwi thhi scast l
eliteinhishand.Ihad
reall
yfallenf ort hisguyandei t
herhehadno
i
deaorhewasj ustignor i
ngi t
Li
yana:
OKwhat
'supwi
thy
ouandt
hatguy
?
Me:
whatguy
?
Ther
eisnohar
minpl
ayi
ngdumb
Her:
Mi hl
e.I
fyouarenotsteal
i
ngglancesat
hi
m, heisst
eal
ingglancesatyou
Sohei
swat
chi
ngmet
oo.
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
.
Idownmyv odkathenpourmor ei nt hecupand
mi xitagai n.Af t
ereat i
ng,Igetintot hespi r
it
sof
drinking.Wear enottoocl osetot hecr owdbut
from wher ewear esitti
ngwecanheart he
musi ccl earlyandwecanseewhoi sper f
orming
ont hebi gscr eens.Ar ound10mybr ot
her s
decidet hatwher evertheywer eisbor i
ngand
theycomeher e.Loyisoiswi t
hhi sex, Qhawei s
wi t
hSi hle,ShaunandLi areont heirown.Att his
pointI '
m get ti
ngni celydrunkandI 'm onmyf eet
danci ngwi thmyr edcupi nmyhand.They
announcet hatAkai sgoingt oper form nextand
Igocr azy
Me:
I'
m goi
ngcl
osert
othecr
owd
Loy
:why
?
Kwandi
:SupaMegaobv
iousl
y
Q:
Kwandoy
ouar
edr
unkbr
uhr
elax
Me:
hay
idon'
trui
nmyf
un.
Mihl
e:I
'
llwat
chher
,Iwantt
ogetcl
oserf
or
SupaMegatoo
AKAperformsKont rolandMihl
eandIar e
si
ngingalong,j
umpi ngupanddownand
act
uall
yhav i
ngfun.Byt heti
met he
per
formanceisov er,myredcupi semptyand
i
tsnotbecauseIdr ankthevodka,Iprobabl
y
spi
ll
editwithal
lthatjumping
Me:
SupaMegai
stheshi
t
Mi
hle:
hedef
ini
tel
yis
Weshoul dbewal ki
ngbacktotheother
sbutwe
arewalki
ngt heopposi
tedir
ecti
on,cl
osertot
he
waterandf orsomereasonweareholding
hands.I'
m notsoberenoughtoquesti
onanyof
thi
s.West andwherethewaterstopswhenit
washesoff,
heiscar
ryi
ngbothmysl
ipper
sand
hisfl
opsandthewat
erfeel
samazi
ngonmy
feet
Me:
whyar
eweher
eMi
hle?
Hedoesn'
tl
ookatmebutl
ooksst
rai
ghtahead
Him:Iwant
edtogetsomealonet
imewi
thy
ou.
Angi
thiy
ou'
vebeenavoi
dingme
Me:
youknowwhyI
'
vebeenav
oidi
ngYou?
I
'm dr
unksoallsenseofbei
ngrati
onalwent
wit
hthatsecondservi
ngofvodkathatIgot
Hi
m:doshar
e
Me:Iloveyoubutyoudon'
twantmeso
whateverIdon'
tcar
e
Het hrowsourshoesadi stanceawayf rom
wher ewear estandi
ng,nottof arthoughand
forsomer easonIfi
ndthisfunny.Het akesa
stepcl osertome,heistall
erthenmesoIf ind
my selflooki
ngupathim, Ican'tseehim as
cl
ear
lyasIshoul
dbecauseA,
I'
m dr
unkandB,
i
tsatni
ght
Hi
m:y
out
hinkIdon'
twanty
ou?
Iswall
owhar dwhenhi shandsgot omywai st
andhepul lsmecl oserandourbodi est ouch.
I'
m sogladI '
m drunkfort hi
s.Sobermewoul d
bemel t
ingr i
ghtnow, drunkmei sal labout
composur e.Hel i
ftsmyf acewi t
hhi sfingerand
oureyeslock.Whenhi slipsbrushedagai nst
mineandheki ssedmei nawayI 'venev erbeen
ki
ssedbef ore.Softandcol dli
psgi vi
ngmea
sl
owki ssthatmakesmykneesweak.Nei ther
ofuswantt ostop,myar msgoar oundhi sneck
andhepul lsmeev enclosertohisbody ,his
handssliddownt omyassandhegr absi t
Hi
m:hmm
Heseemssati
sfi
edbecauseaf
tert
hatmoan,
he
br
eakstheki
ssandstar
esatme
Hi
m:sot
ell
mekeMaSmi
th,
whi
chpar
tofme
doesn'
twanty
ou?
Hetakesmyhandandpl
acesi
tov
erhi
s
manhood
Him:becauset
hewayIseei
t,al
lofmewant
s
you
Me:
Idon'
twantj
ustsexf
rom y
ouMi
hle,
Iwant
mor
e
Hi
m: youwantmor
easi
n?Youwanta
r
elat
ionshi
p?
Me:
yes.
Him: somebei
ngy
oungert
hany
oudoesn'
t
botheryou?
Me:
nobutcl
ear
lyi
tbot
her
syou
Itr
iedwalki
ngaway ,honest
lyIwasov erthi
s
wholeconversat
ion.Ican'
tbeli
evehet hinksI'
m
j
ustgoingtolethim haveatasteofthecooki e
andthenleave.Whatdoesthischil
dt akemef or?
Heheldmyar m, pul
ledmet owardshim and
smashedhi
slipsagai
nstmine.Thi
skisswas
shor
tert
hanthefi
rstonebutl
eftmoreofan
i
mpact
Him:itdoesn'
tbot
herme.Iloveyou, I
'v
eloved
yousinceIwas15,skinnyandnotthisgood
l
ookingbutIalwaysknewIdidn'
thav eashot
wit
hy ou.That
'swhyIneverwentafteryou.
Me:
sincey
ouwer
e15?
Wear ehol
dinghandsandtaki
ngastrol
lont
he
beachunti
lwefindarockt
hatwesiton.My
headisonhissideandhi
sarmi sar
oundme
Hi
m:howar
ewegoi
ngt
omaket
hiswor
k?I
'
m
i
nJo'
bur
gandy
ouar
ehere
Me:Igotaninter
nshi
pwithTruel
ovemagazine
soI'
l
lbeinJo'burgasofnextmonth.Andy
our
gi
rl
fr
iendinLondon?
Hi
m: Iendedt
hat,
shei
sjusthavi
ngadiff
icul
t
t
imecomi ngt
otermswit
hit.Whena
r
elat
ionshi
pendsduet
osuchcircumst
ances,
i
tsdi
ff
icul
ttoaccepti
t
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:Ir
eal
l
ydol
ovey
ouKwando
Hear inghi m sayt hosewor dsmademyhear tdo
car t
wheel s.Foroncel iquorcour agecame
throughf orme.Ay earandahal fintoour
relati
onshi p,hewasdoi nghi sfi
nal yearandI
wast ryingt obuildanamef ormy sel fat
Truelov esowegott oobusyf oreachot her
despi tebei ngi nthesameci ty.Whenhef ound
outt hatIhadbeensl eepi ngwi t
honeofmy
cowor kershebr okeupwi thme.Wewer eapar t
foralmostay ear,mebeggi ngf orfor giveness
almostev erychanceIgotandhewasn' thav i
ng
anyoft hat .Itwasact ual lyonnewy earsev eof
thatsamey earthatwesatdownandt alked,as
drunkaswewer e,til
t hisdayIst i
l
l can'tgett he
pictureoft hewayhecr i
edoutofmymi nd.I t
wasonl ythent hatIreal izedthatIhadhur thim
farbey ondwhatIhadt hought .Ithur tmet o
wat
chhimli
kethatandtoknowIhaddonet
hat
t
ohim.That
'swhenIdecidedtogr
owupandtr
y
t
obuil
dafutur
ewiththi
sguy .
Fastforward2y earslater,
(onel ongbr eakupin
betweenwhi chi swhywear etogetherfortwo
yearsinsteadof4)wear eexpect ingababy
togetherandnoneofmybr othersknowexcept
formyt winalthoughweal mostgotbust edthat
nightwhenwegotdr unkandt heyfetchedusat
eYadini.Ourrelati
onshipisn'tconv enti
onalbut
theloveisreal,therespecti smut ualandthe
sexisonsomeser i
ousl evel ofbombdi gi
ty.
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*43*
"Ever
ygir
lhasherbestfr
iend,boyf
riendand
truel
ovebutyouarereal
l
yl uckyi
fthey'
real
lthe
sameperson.
"
WhyisitthatIhavetosacr
if
icemysleep
becausethi
sonewant stoknowaboutother
people'
sbusiness?Wehadjustgot
teninbed,
myheadonhi schestandhi
sarm ar
oundme.
Honest
lyIdoubtI'
l
leverbeabl
etofal
lasl
eepi
n
anot
herposit
ion
Me:
Kwandoi
spr
egnant
Li
:OKandwhoi
sthef
atherofherchi
l
d?
Me: hayi
Limi
lebruhy ousai
dy ouwanttoknow
whethersheispregnantornotandIjustt
old
you.I'
m nott
ell
i
ngy ouherbusiness,
itsnotmy
placeto
Hi
m:heeehdaddyi
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lsomeone
Ili
ftmyheadfrom hi
schestandstar
eandhim,
thelamponhissideisst
il
lonsohecanseeme
verycl
earl
yri
ghtnowandI '
m noti
mpressed
withhim
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
andhowwi
l
luncl
eSosoknow?
Hi
m: shewi
l
lst
artshowi
ngatsomepoi
ntsohe
wi
llknow
Me:
hmmm y
oubet
ternott
ell
him
Hi
m:hawbabyourgossi
pst
aysbet
weenus.
Yi
zandi
phuze
Ismil
e,mov emyheadupt henwekissbefor
e
webothdr if
tofftosleep.Twoday sl
aterweare
packi
ngf orGrahamst own.Wewi l
lbeusingt
he
companyj etsoI'
mi nnor ushbutbaewantsus
togettherebeforei
t'
sdar k
Me: howbigisyourgr
andpar
ent
s'house?Phel
a
yourfami
lyislar
ge
Hi
m: i
t'
sanav
eragehouse,
Ithi
nkt
her
ear
e6or
7bedr
ooms
Cl
earl
ywedon'
thav
ethesamedef
ini
ti
onof
av
erage.
Hi
m:I'
mjustbummedthatgr
andpaHadebe
di
edbef
oreyoumethi
m
Me:butbabyi
twasn'
tyourfaul
tthathewasn'
t
wel
lenoughtotr
avel
forourwedding
Hi
m: yeahbutatl
easty
ouwi
l
lmeetuGogo.She
i
snice,youwil
ll
oveher
Wel eaveJo' bur
gat2pm, Usi t
handileisr estless
andAv engeri senjoyingdoi ngalltheki cking
i
nsideme.Thatboybet t erenduppl ayingf or
BarcelonaorManchest eruni ted.Ohy eswe
foundoutt hesexoft hisbabyandLi mileisov er
themoon, hehasn' tst oppedsmi l
ingsi ncewe
l
eftthedoct orsofficey est erday.AllI'
m bei ng
tol
daboutt hewhol edayi st hatImustt akecar e
ofhisboy ,Imustnotst arvehi sboyet c,hei s
evenst ar
ti
ngt oannoymebutIl ov ehis
excit
ement .Itscute.Wel andi nPEat4pm and
mydaught eri sfastasl eep.Icar ryheri ntot he
carthatiswai ti
ngf orus, i
tsQhawe' swhi tex6
Me:
heyQhawe
Q:
heyAbongi
we.Ur
ight
?
Me:
ngi
yaphi
l
aheyandy
ou?
Hi
m:al
li
swel
lonmysi
de.
Lil
oadsthebagsint
hecart
hentakest
hef r
ont
seatwhi
l
eUsithandi
l
eandIchi
l
lattheback.
Li
:how'
smama?
Qhawesighs.I
'm ev
enst
art
ingtof
eel
sadfor
aunt
ieLwa,Idon'
tknowwhatI'
ddowit
houtmy
dad
Q:sheistr
yingherbestt ost
aystrong.Herand
daddyarealreadyinGrahamstown,wear ej
ust
goingt
odrivet her
eat5pm.Wear est i
ll
waiti
ng
forKwandi
le, hedrov
ef r
om CapeTown
Li
:hav
eyouseenKwando?
Thisonecan'
tkeephismouthshuttosavehis
l
ife.Icl
earmythr
oatloudenoughforhi
mt o
pickupwhatitmeansexactl
yandjudgi
ngfrom
thewayhechuckled,
heknows
Q:
nahIhaven'
tseenher,
sheisal
soin
Gr
ahamst
ownt ownalr
eady.Shel
eftwi
thAl
wa
Me:
sowhoi
sgoi
ngt
obel
eav
ingwi
thus?
Q:i
tsalotofusAbongs..
.me,Si
hleandthetr
ios.
Loyi
so,Tshegoandt
heirdaught
er,Kwandi
le
andyouguy s
That '
salready12peopl eandi tsnotev enthe
whol efami ly.Thisfami lyishugengeke.I '
m
alr
eadyt irednj efrom ev ery thingt hatwi l
lbe
happeni ngandasoMakot i,Sihle,TshegoandI
areinf orit.Aspr edicted, at5wel eav ePEi na
conv oyof3car s.Wegett oGr ahamst ownat
half6,thesuni sset t
ingbuti t
snott oodar kyet
.
They ardisf ill
edwi thcar s,y ou'dsweart he
funeral i
st oday.Li t
akesUsi thandi lewhoi snow
awakeandwewal kin, wegr eetev ery
onet hen
Litakesust ohi sgrandmot her '
sroom, sheis
sit
tingont hemat tresswi t habl anketar ound
hershoul ders
Li
:sawbonagogo
ShesmileswhensheseesLithenl
ooksat
Usi
thandil
eandIthensmil
esevenmore.Shei
s
ol
d,probablyi
nherear
ly80snowbutyoucan
st
il
ltel
lthatshewasf
lamesbacki
nherday
s
Gogo:
Limi
l
emf
ana.Ni
njani
?
Us:
siy
aphi
l
agogo
Gogo:
wuy
eumakot
ilo?
Li
:Yebogogo.NguAbongi
wel o,
uMaDube.
St
handwaSam thi
sismygr andmot
her
,
uMamHadebe
Ugogodemandshugsandsheget sthem then
shetellsustoleaveUsithandil
ewithherandI '
m
moret hanhappyt o.Ihaven'
tspott
edaunt i
e
Lway etbuteveryoneischill
ingint
helounge.I
countwi t
hmyey esandIspot29peopl e.Ieven
seeAlwa'skids,thesameki dsthatshesaidshe
wasgoi ngtoditch
Sakhi
:guysl
et'
stal
ksl
eepi
ngar
rangement
s
befor
eitget
slat
e
KK:i
tseasy,t
hosethathav
eroomsher
e,wi
ll
sl
eephere.That
'sal
readyMe,y
ouandLwa
sor
tedthenther
ear e4r
oomsstil
lavai
l
able.1
hastobeusedbyt heki
dst
henLoy i
so,Qhawe
andYandisacanusetheot
herones.
Izoneoutoft hiswhol econv ersat
ion, I
'm st
ill
stuckont helargenessoft hi
sf amily.Litell
sme
wewi ll
sleepathi sandAl wa'shouset hatused
tobel ongt otheirparents.Apparentl
yKwando
andYandi sahadi tcleanedupwhent heygot
here.Atl eastIwi l
lgettoescapet hisf orawhi l
e.
Aunt ieLwawal ksinwi t
huncl eSosoand
anyonecanseet hatshei sn'
ttakinganyoft hi
s
well.Shegr eetst hengoesupt hestairswhile
l
eav inguncl eSosowi t
hus
Soso:webr
oughtf
oodguy
s,i
tshoul
dbe
enough
Tshego,Si
hle,Kwandoandmy sel
fheadtothe
ki
tchentodishup.3KFCbucket s,5boxesof
Roman'spizza,52.25lofcolddr i
nkand32l
boxesofLiquif
rui
t.Wedi shupf orever
yone,I
warm upUsithandi
le'
spur i
tythentakeit
upst
air
s.Sheissti
ll
withgogo,
Ileavet
hepur
it
y
wit
hGogot hengobackdownstair
stoeat
.We
deci
detoeatinthekit
chen
Me:
KwandoLi
knows
Ihadtogivehert
heheadsupandshedoesn'
t
seem phasedbyanyoft
his
Kwando: i
tsfi
ne.Yandisaknowsaswel l.Mi
hle
tol
dAlakheandAl akhetol
dYandi sa.I
'
m goi
ng
totel
lmypar ent
saf t
erthefuneral
.Ift
heyhat
e
meaf t
erwardsthensobei t.Ij
ustwanttoenj
oy
thi
swithoutfeel
ingguil
tyaboutit
Shehadapoi nt.Oneshouldenjoypr egnancy ,
I'
m havingthet i
meofmyl i
fewithmi ne.It hank
Godev erydayforthisl
itt
lemiracleofour s.At
around8pm I '
m exhausted,myf eetar eswol l
en
andIthinkLi seesthatbecausehesuggest s
thatweshoul dgetgoing.Alwawasn' thaving
anyofthesl eepingatthathousebusi nessso
sheendedupwi t
hManqobaatahot el so
Yandisaendedupcomi ngwi t
husbecause
sleepingwi thOyamaundert hesamer oom as
uncleSosowasgi vi
ngheranxi et
y.Shei sweird
thatone.Shaunendedupt akingther oom
Yandisawasgoi ngtouse.Li'shousewasni ce,
oldbutni ce,homeyandcomf or t
able.Hesetup
thetravelingcotwhil
eIt ookabat ht henputhis
daught ertobed.WhenIwasdoneget ting
dressed, Ijoi
nedevery
onei nthel ounge
becauseasmuchasIwast i
red,Iwasn' tsl
eepy
Oy
ama:
how'
smyf
avor
it
epat
ientdoi
ng?
Yaya:
hehasaweirdobsessi
onwi
thpr
egnant
women.That
'swhyIendedupwit
hsomany
ki
ds
Il
augh, t
heyaresocutet oget
herandtheirki
ds
aregorgeous.Thoseeyesmaket hem themost
gorgeousbabiesinthefamily
.
Me:
meandmyl it
tl
eavengeraregood.Wehad
t
ogetanot
herdoct
ori
nJo'burg,hei
sn'tas
goodasy
out
houghDrShabane
Oy amasmi l
eswhileYandi
sarol
lshereyesand
Limil
egivesmeal ookt
hatIt
otal
lyi
gnore.Vel
e
thatdoct
ori sn'
tasgoodasOyama.Hemust
notthi
nkf unnythi
ngsaboutwhatIj
ustsaid.
Oyama:t
hat
'sgoodtoknow.Doy
ouknowwhat
youar
ehavi
ngyet?
Li
:aboy
.Ican'
twaitformysontogethere.I
ev
enhaveanamef orhim.Ist
ayedupthe
whol
eni
ghtthi
nki
ngofanameandi tcameto
me
Yay
a:doshar
e
Yeahheneedst osharebecauseIdidn'
tknow
wewer enaminghim 4mont hsbeforeheget
s
here.Heshakeshisheadandl aughs
Li
:al
lI
'm goi
ngt
oshareist
hathi
snamest
art
s
wi
thO.That'
sal
lyouar
egetti
ng
Oy
ama:
aaahmanI
'
m honor
edhey
.Idi
dn'
t
knowy
oul
ovemet
hismuch.Nohomo
Weal
lbr
okei
ntol
aught
er
Li
:lol
niggayouwish.I
'
m notnami
ngmychi
l
d
af
teryou.Fuckno.
Ipassoutthemomentmyheadhi t
sthepil
l
ow, I
needall
therestIcangetbecausecome
tomorr
owwhi chisthedaybefor
ethefuner
al,
thi
ngswill
becrazy
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*44*
"
Gri
efi
slov
e'sunwi
l
li
ngnesst
oletgo.
"
Thef uneralwasdi gnifi
ed,sadbutalli
nal li
t
wentwel l.AfterthefuneralwespentSat urday
eveningasaf ami l
y,every
oner emini
scingabout
grandpaHadebeandf r
om whatIhear d,hewas
agoodman.Af ewmont hspassedandi t
snow
April
,Ididn'tgainmuchwei ghtduri
ngt hi
s
pregnancybutt hestomachi shuge.I'
vebeen
getti
ngt hekickssomucht hatatsomepoi ntI
wantedt ojustr emov emyst omachandputi t
aside.Usi thandi l
ei snow9mont hsold, it
sso
weirdt hatI '
m 9mont hspr egnantandshei s
9mont hsol d.Shei sanOl y mpi ccrawler,Idon't
evenbot herchasi ngherwhenshei scr awli
ng
around, Ijustwat ch.I'
mt ooheav yforsuch
activ
iti
es.Mywat erbreaksont he29t hofApr il
andal lIprayf oristhatIdon' tgoi nt
ol aborfor
mor ethanacoupl eofhour s,I'vegrownso
i
mpat ientwi t
hav engerthatIj ustwanthi m out
ofme.Hi sf ather, myhusbandandl oveofmy
l
ifethatIcur rentlyhateatt hemomenti sbymy
si
de.Ihat ehi m becauseofal l t
hepainI '
m
goingt hroughbutwhenIhearmybaby '
scry,Li
andIl ookateachot herandhesmi l
eshappi ly
whileal lIwantt odoi ssleep.I '
m exhaust ed.
Li
:babyhei
sdefi
nit
elymi
ne.Hei
sdar
kand
cut
eandperf
ect
Di
dhejustsayt
hebabythatIcar
ri
edfor
9mont
hsbecauseheputiti
nmei sdefi
nit
ely
hi
s?Whowashet hi
nki
ngitwasallal
ong?I'
ll
deal wi
thhi m whenIwakeup, I'
mt oot ired.I
can'tbeli
eveI '
m amot heroft wonow.The
chaos,themess, t
hehappi nessandt hej oythat
i
saboutt ofil
lourhomewi l
l bebl i
ssf ul
.WhenI
wakeupmyr oom ispackedwi t
hHadebe
people,thesepeopleneedr eal j
obsbecause
theyhav etoomucht imeont heirhands.Myson
i
si nhisfather'
sarms, Idon'tt hi
nkt hepoorki d
hashadachancet oev enrest .I
'm sur ehe
thi
nkst hewor ldi
sapl acewi thnopr ivacyand
hewant st ogobackt omommy 'stummy .Have
Iment i
onedhowIhav en'
tmethi my et?9
mont hsIlethiml i
veinsideofmeandI 'mt he
l
astper sont omeethim.Isi tupont hebedand
Ifeelsoawkwar dri
ghtnowbutwhenmyey es
l
andonKwandoandherbel ly,Ismi l
e.I '
m glad
I'
m passedt hat.Icl
earmyt hroatandonl ythen
dopeopl e'
sey esmov ef r
om mychi l
dt ome
Li
:myangel
youar
eup
Me:
giv
ememychi
l
dLi
mil
e
ThewayIsaidt
hatmadeev
ery
onel
augh,
they
probabl
ythi
nkI
'
mj oki
ng
Lwa:
congr
atul
ati
onsAbongi
we.Hei
sbeaut
if
ul
Ismil
e,Iwouldn'tknowbecauseIhaven'
tseen
him.Ligent
lyplaceshiminmyarms, hehashis
eyescl
osedbutaaahmanhei sperfect
.
Chocol
ateskinandt inyev
ery
thi
ng.Such
perf
ect
ion
Al
wa:
hav
eyouguy
snamedhi
myet
?
Li
:Oy
int
andoy
enkosi
Me:
what
?
Yay
a:t
hati
sthel
ongestnameev
er.Poorki
d
Li
:i
tmeanshei
sGod'
swi
l
l
Imeltonthespot
.Yesit
sr i
dicul
ousl
ylongbut
i
tsbeauti
fulwi
thabeaut
ifulmeaning
Soso:
greatname
Me:
yeahbabyi
tsanamazi
ngname
Li
:youal
sohavetonamehi
m kal
okbabyand
babomncaneSakhi
l
e
Sakhi
l
e:Sbongi
nkosi
Yhohayithesepeopl eareputt
ingpressur
eon
me.Thesest rongandmeani ngful
namesand
all
Iwantt odoi scombinemynamewi thbae'
s
name.Itakeonemor elookatmybabyboyand
I'
m soi
nl ove.Myki dsareperf
ecti
on
Me:Oyi
ntandoy
enkosi
Sbongi
nkosi
Ali
bongwe
Hadebe
IsaythenameIcomeupwi t
hthesof
test
.Il
i
ke
i
tthough.Hei
sapr oductofthet
woofusand
theki
dneedsarelaxedname
Yay
a:Al
i
bongwei
scut
e.Il
ovei
t
Every
onelaughs, Yandi
saisasuckerf or
romanceandshedoesn' thideit.Lat
erthe
squadleaves,
KwandohasUsi thandi
lesoI'
m
j
ustwithmyboy snow.Oyintandoisfedand
asl
eep.Hisfatherissti
l
lobsessedov erhi
m
Li:
thankyoumyangel .Thanky ouf
ormarr
ying
me.Thanky ouforourkids.Thankyouf
orbeing
younje.Il
oveyoumyangel
Heki ssesmedeepl yandIfeel hisloveand
appreciati
onint hatonekiss.Twoday slatermy
sonandIgotdi scharged,Ihadhadenoughof
thathospitalandIjustneededmyownspace.
Whenwegothome, therewasnosur prise
welcomehomebabyshowerwhi chIwas
gratefulf
or.Pickingupababyf rom social
servicesandpushi ngoneoutar etwodi ff
erent
thi
ngs, r
ightnowIhadnoener gyf orpeople.
Me:thankyousomuchf
orwat
chi
ng
Usi
thandi
leguys.
Mihl
e:i
twasgoodpr
act
icepl
usshewasn'
ta
handf
ul
Kwando:yesshewas.Shecrawlsever
ywhere
andpull
severy
thi
ngtotheground.Youcan'
t
evengetmadatherbecausesheissocute
Ilaugh, Limil
ewentupt oputOy i
ntandodown
sincehewassl eepingany way.Ithrewmy self
ont hecouch, IthinkIneedat woweeks
vacationj usttopr eparemy sel
ffortheseki ds.
LaterthatdayMi hleandKwandol eft
,Iwentt o
sleepwhi l
ehubbycookedupast orm.It ookmy
babiesf rom thenur ser
yandgoti nbedwi th
bothoft hethem.Mynapwasi nt
er r
upt edbya
callfr
om mydad, ohgoshIhadcompl etel
y
forgottent otellhimt hatOyint
andohasar ri
ved.
Me:
babaunj
ani
?
Dad:
I'
m wel
lAbongi
weandhowar
eyou?
Me:j
ustt
ir
ed.Iwasj
ustaboutt
ocal
lyouy
az
baba
Hi
m: l
i
es.YouarealiarwenaAbongiweand
whymustIhearfrom Smi
th'
swifethaty
ougav
e
bi
rt
h.Am Inotyourfat
her
?
Irol
lmyeyes,
yeshehaseveryrightt
obeupset
butthedr
amaguys,Iwasn'
treadyfori
t.
Honest
lyIwasn'
they
Me:i
t'
sbeenacr
azycoupl
eofdaysbaba,
Ilef
t
myphonewhenIwentt
othehospi
tal
.
Ngi
yaxol
i
sa
Him:hmmm soi
tsaboy
?Good.Ev
eryman
needsason
Isensedabitoflowkeyshadebei
ngthrownmy
waybutIignoredit
.Mydadhasatendencyof
sulki
nglat
elyanditget
sworsebytheday
Me:hi
snameisOyi
ntandoy
enkosi
Sbongi
nkosi
Al
i
bongweHadebe
Him:thosear
egr eatst
rongnames,I
'm nottoo
sureaboutAl
ibongwebuttherestar
egr eat
Agai
nwit
htheshadet
hrowi
ng,
thi
smani
s
havi
ngafi
eldday
Me:
hawbabaIgav
ehi
mthatname
Him:hmmm any
wayIwantt
oknowwhenar
e
yougoi
ngt
oDurban
Me:
Dur
ban?Whatf
or?
Him:soyourmothercanhel
pyouwi
tht
hebaby
.
Youaresupposedtobeawayfr
om y
our
husbandfor3months
Ichuckl
edi
nt hemostsarcast
icwayIcoul
d,my
husbandwi
llhavenoneofthat.3monthsofnot
seei
ngmeandhi skids,
thatwon'twor
k
Me:
youcan'
tbeser
iousbaba
Him: doIsoundl
ikeI
'mj
oking?Andyousti
l
l
havet opr
eparef
orthet
radi
ti
onalweddi
ngin
September
Thismant hi
nksI'm ahousewife,whenwillI
fi
ndt i
metowor k?I'
m goingbacktowor ki
n
Jul
ysowhenwi ll
Ifindtheti
met ochil
lwit
hmy
mot her
,pl
anaweddi ngandsti
l
l f
ulf
il
lmywi f
e
duti
es.AiI
'm notsuperwoman
Me:I
'
llcal
lYol
andaandtalkt
oherabouther
comi
nghere.I
'
m notleav
ingmyhomebaba
Hi
m:y
ouhav
eto.I
t'
scul
tur
eAbongi
we
Aftergoingbackandf orthaboutt hi
scul
ture,
I'
mf edupsoweagr eethatI '
llcallmymot her
anddiscusst hesethingswi t
hher .Bythet i
meI
hangup, I'
m nol ongersl eepybutI '
m st
il
ltir
ed
soIjustlayi nbedt akingpi cturesofmy
gorgeoussl eepingbabi es.Oy intandobetter
takeafterhisf atherandonl yhav emytemper
becausei fhet akeshisf ather'stemper,I'
m
doomed
Li
:theyar
ebeaut
if
ular
en'
tthey
?
Idi
dn'tevenhearhi
m comein.Byt
heyheis
ref
err
ingtohischil
drenandhei
sri
ght
.Theyar
e
beaut
iful
Hi
m:t
hef
oodi
sready
,shoul
dIdi
shupf
ory
ou?
Me:
pleasedoandbr
ingi
tupher
e
Hi
m:al
ri
ght
Hepl
acesaki
ssonhi
sdaught
er'
sface,
smi
l
es
tohi
mselft
henwal
ksout.Heret
urnswi
thf
ood,
webotheatont
hecouchwhil
ethebabi
essl
eep
onthebed
Me:
Ispoket
omydad
Li
:Iknowwhaty ouar
egoingtosayand
honest
lyIdon'
twantyouguystol
eave
Me:
Idon'
twantust
oleav
eei
ther
Him:mamasay syoudon'
thavet
oleav
e,she
neverl
eftwhenshehadYandi
saandoKwando
Me:
thenI
'
m notl
eav
ing
Him: hearmeoutbabe.Yourfatherpr
obably
feelslef
toutr
ightnow,y
ouar eaHadebengok
andIt hi
nkweshoulddothisjustasawayof
showi nghi
mt hatwest
il
lrespecthim asan
elderinourl
iv
es.
Isi
ghasIpokemyf oodaround,hehasapoint
butt
hreemonthsi
sal ongtimewi t
houtwaki
ng
upnexttomyhusband.Thisisprobabl
ywhy
peopl
esayhavi
ngbabi
esrui
nst
herel
ati
onshi
p,
i
t'
snotthebabyi
tst
hisst
upi
dcul
tur
e
Me:t
hatmeanswewon'
tseey
ouf
ort
hree
mont
hs
Him:youwil
lseememyangel.Notevery
day
butyou'
l
lseeme.Ther
eisanothert
hingIwant
torunbyyou
Me:
OKI
'
m al
lear
s
Him:Iwantt osel
lthi
shouse.Sthandwasam I
knowy ourhearti
sinKZNandIknowy ouar e
notgoingtostopworkinganyt
imesoon, I
wouldn'twantyoutoanywaybutatthesame
ti
meIdon' twanttodothewholedistancethi
ng.
Wear emar r
iedwit
hkidsnowsoi tsnolonger
j
ustaboutus
Me:
OKsowhatdoy
ousuggest
?
Him:
goi
ngbacktoDurban.Al
wawantsahouse
i
sJo'
bur
gsincet
heysoldManqoba'
sbachel
or
padi
nMidr
and.Wearegoingtodoan
exchange,I
'
llt
akeherDur
banhouseandshe
wil
ltakethi
shouse
Me:
andwhataboutwor
k?
Him:Lwasquaredisafami
lybusi
nessbabe,
I
canworkwhereveri
nthecount
ry
Mustbeni
cehey.Mustbereal
l
ynicebutI'
m
l
ovi
ngthi
sideaofhi
s.Goi
ngbacktoKZN
woul
dn'
tsuchabadideapl
usI'
m notafanof
t
heJozif
astli
fe
Hi
m:soar
eyouupf
ort
hemov
e?
IsmileandIthinkthatwasadeadgi v
eaway .
HekissesmycheekbutIdon' twantcheek
ki
sses,ifI
'
m goi ngtobedepr i
vedofallhis
sexi
nessfort hr
eemont hs,Ineedrealkissesso
Ipull
himtowar dsmeandweshar eareal
grownpeople'skiss.Aweekl at
erthekidsandI
werebeingflownt oDurbanv i
athejet,my
husbandcouldn'tcomewi t
husbecauseofa
hugeconferencemeet i
ng.Whenwel andedat
theairpor
tLazolacametopickusup.We
sharedahugt henhehelpedmewi t
hthecar
seats.Usit
handi
lewaswi deawakeand
Oyintandowasasleep.
Lazol
a:t
hisl
i
ttl
emani
sdef
ini
tel
yLi
mil
e'
schi
l
d
Me:hesaidthesamet hi
ngsecondsaft
erI
pushedhim out.Any
wayhowar eyoubro?
How'sthegirl
fr
iend?
Him:webr okeup.ShegotajobinCapeTown
begi
nningoftheyear.Wetri
edthelong
di
stancethingbutsheendedupleavi
ngmefor
someguy
Butthesegirlsthough?Howar etheymara?I
rememberLazol awasthereforthi
sgir
lwhen
shelostherfather3yearsago.Hewasbei ng
theperfectboyfri
end,suppor
tingherandnow
shedoest histohim
Me:
ist
heguyr
ich?
Hi
m:y
eaht
heywor
ktoget
herbutSphi
ndi
we
hasnev
erbeenaboutr
ichguy
s
Me:ser
iousl
yLazol
a?Shel
efty
ouandy
oust
il
l
st
ickupforher
?
Him:IguessIsti
l
l l
ovehersis.Thebreakup
j
usthitmelikeatsunaminje,Ineversawit
coming
Me:Iwouldbeatupthegir
lthatbr
eaksmy
son'
sheartandI'
m sureLi
milewoulddot
he
sameforsomeonet hatmesseswit
h
Usit
handi
l
e
Hel aughedthenshookhi shead.I
'm doingtobe
thatkindofpar ent,y
oudon' tmesswithmyki ds.
I'
llcomef oryou.Whenwegott othehouse, my
mot herwast herewithauntKhethiwe.The
momentIwal kedi n,sherushedtotake
Oy i
ntando,shewasn' ttherewhenIgav ebir
th
sot hi
swast hef ir
sttimeshewasseei nghim
Me:
sani
bonani
Khet
hi:
unj
ani
Abongi
we?Asi
sakwazi
Me:I
'
m wellma,I
'v
ejustbeenbusybutbyt
he
t
imeIleav
e,youwil
lbewanti
ngtogetri
dofme
Shesmiledsweetl
y.Ipl
acedUsi
thandi
l
eonthe
fl
oorbecauseshewassquirmi
ngtocrawl
ever
ywhere
Me:Lazbruhpleasej
ustwat
chher
,sheget
s
exci
tedbybreaki
ngthi
ngs
AuntKhethi
wemademel unchthenwesatin
thel
ounge,mydaughterwithheruncleandmy
sonwit
hhi sgr
andmother.Ist
il
lsaythree
monthsistool
ongformet obeher e
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*45*
"
Youcan'
ttr
ulyl
ovesomeoneunl
essy
out
rust
t
hem."
Beingatmymot her
'shousehadi t
'supsideand
i
tsr i
diculouslydownside.Shewant edtodo
correctionsforever
ythi
ngIdidwi t
hr egar
dsto
thekids, accordi
ngtoherIdidn'
tfeedmy
daught erenoughandIdi dn'
tdressmyson
warm enough.Usithandilehasener gyinbucket
l
oadswher easherbrotherissuchasweetchi l
d,
eats,sleepsandpoops.Hedoesn' tcryforno
reasonl i
kesheusedt odoandst il
ldoes
becauseoft heatt
entionshi ft
.It
stheweekend
andLi milei
sintown,I'
v emi ssedhim somuch.
Phonecal l
scanneverr eplacebeingin
someone' sphysi
calpresence, nomat terhow
l
ongt hephonecal li
s.Hi sdaughterhasdecided
tocalm downbecausedaddyi shereandshei s
sit
tingonhi sl
apwithherheadonhi sstomach
Li
:someonehasmi
sseddaddyIsee
Me:nahshejustdoesn'
twanty
outopickup
Oyi
ntando.Youknowsheisver
yter
ri
tori
alwhen
i
tcomest oyou
Hekissesherfor
eheadandshegi
ggl
esl
oudl
y.
Suchadaddy'sgir
l
Hi
m:sohowwasy
ourf
ir
stweekher
e?
Isur
veymysur
roundi
ngsandwear
eal
oneso
i
tssaf
eformet
ospeakf
reel
y
Me:al
lI'
m goi
ngtosayi
sthaty
ouneedtohurr
y
upwit
hthismove.Mymotheri
staki
ngovermy
ki
ds
Hel
augh.Het
hinksI
'
mjoki
ngt
hisone
Hi
m:shei
sjustt
ryi
ngt
ohel
pmyangel
,l
ether
Me:Icanneverdoanyt
hingr
ighti
nhereyes.
Shehasprobabl
yrul
edmeoutasahor r
ible
mother
Hecockshi
soneeyebr
owatmeandlaughs.I
needt
ogobacktomyownhouse,oneweek
downandI'
mreadyhey
.Itf
eel
sli
kei
tsabout
ti
me
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ouguy
s.Especi
all
ymywi
fe
Me:
get
ti
ngt
ir
edoff
rozenmeal
s?
Imadesuretocookashitl
oadoffoodf
orhi
m
bef
oreIl
eft,
Ihaditf
rozeni
nport
ionssoal
lhe
hadtodowaswar mitupandeat
Him:thefrozenmeal swereanamazi ngidea,I
canneverthankyouenoughbabe.I tstheempt y
col
dbedt hatIcan'tgetusedtoandt heclean
house.Withthekidsaround,ourhousewas
l
oudandmessybutnowi t'
scleanandqui et
Me:Itol
dyouthi
swasabadideaandy
ou
bet
ternotbr
inghoest
othehouse.
Him:l
olcanyouj
ustt
rustme?I'
venev
er
cheat
edonyouandIneverwi
ll
.Il
oveyout
oo
much
Me:
hmm soy
ousay
.Let
hangi
yoml
ali
sa
Usithandil
ehadf all
enasleepandasIwas
aboutt otakeher,auntKhethi
weoffered,
she
tookherandIf ollowedherupstai
rstothe
nursery.Ineededt ocheckonmysonany way
AuntK:Icoul
dwatchtheki
dsfory
ouandy
ou
andyourhusbandcangoout
Me:real
l
y?Areyousure?Lastt
hingIwantt
odo
i
stakeadvant
ageofyou
Shesmi
led.Ili
kedher
,obvi
ousl
yshedoesn'
t
comecl
oset oMaNtombi.Phel
athatwoman
hasmyheart
Her:
Iwasay oungwi
feaswellatsomepoi
nt
andthekidscametooquickl
ysoIknowhow
muchy oumisshisundi
vi
dedattent
ion.
Therewasnoli
einthat
.Imi
ssedhi
m, Imi
ssus
befor
ethebabi
es.Il
ovemybabi
esthough
Me: t
hanky
ousomuch.Pl easedon'
thesi
tat
eto
giv
emeacal l
whent heygettoomuch.You
knowhowUsithandi
l
ecanbe
Oyint
andowasawakesoIchangedhisdiaper
t
hent ookhi
mt ohi
sfather
.Iwarmedhi
sbot t
le
forhi
mt hengavei
ttoLitofeedhi
m
Me:
wear
egoi
ngout
Li
:wear
e?
Inoddedwithasmilet
henrushedupst
air
sto
change.Iputonhi
ghwaistdeni
m ski
rt
,anol
ive
l
ongsleevecroptop,nudeblockheelsanda
nudecoat.Idi
dmymakeup, plum li
psti
ckand
ti
edmyhai ri
naneatbun.Igr abbedmyol i
ve
handbag,t
hrewineveryt
hingIwasgoi ngto
needthenmademywaydownst air
sbumpi ng
i
ntoLukhanya
Luk:
youl
ookni
cesi
sAbongs
Ismi
l
ed.Myl
i
ttl
ebr
otheri
stheone,
sosweet
Me:thanky
ouLukhany
a.I
'm goi
ngout
,whatdo
youwantmetobri
ngfory
ou?
Hi
m:pi
zza.Tr
ipl
edecker
Me:
OKbuti
fyoupr
omi
set
oshar
ewi
thme
Hi
m:Iwi
l
l
WhenIwalkedint
othel
oungeLi'
sjawdr opped
t
otheground.Giv
ingmetheexactreact
ionI
want
edfrom hi
m.
Li
:wowmyangel
youl
ookgor
geous.Wow
Idi
dat
wir
lforhi
m,Il
ovet
hisski
rtbecausei
t
showsof
fmycur
vesandmyassni
cel
y
Hi
m:dammi
tnowIf
eel
under
dressed
Me: youareFinejustthewayy ouare.When
Oyintandowasf ul
l,Lipl
acedhim onhissl
eeper
,
Iki
ssedhi scheekandwel ef
t.Hetookmeto
oysterboxforalatelunch.Idon'
teven
remembert helasttimewehadadat e
Me:
youar
est
ari
ng
Hi
m:Ican'
thel
pmy
sel
f,wowbaby
.
Weorderednonalcoholi
cchampagnewi
thour
mealbecauseIwasst i
llbr
eastf
eedi
ngsoI
can'
tbedri
nkingalcohol
Me:
thanky
oubabe
Him:Iwantustogoseey
ourdadbef
oreIgo
backtoJo'
burg
Me:
mydad?Why
?
Him:
Iwantt
or enegot
iat
ethi
s3monthsthing.
Themovewi
llbefinal
i
zedwit
hinamonththen
I
'l
lbet
hissi
def
ull
time.I
'
m goingtoneedy
oui
n
mybedever
yni
ghtwhenthathappens
Ichuckled.Heseesmeonceoutofmyj eans
andsweat pantsandsuddenl
yhecan'tt
akenot
beingawayf r
om me.HadIknownt hat'
swhatit
wasgoi ngtotakethenIwoul
dhavegot t
enall
dressedupagesago
Me:
lol
arey
oubei
ngser
iousr
ightnow?
Hi
m:yesIam.Let'
sgotomor
rowaft
erchur
ch.
Wecansurpr
isehi
m andMaNtombi
Iwasmi ssingmydad, l
astti
meIsawhi m was
afterUsithandi
le'sbabylaunchandthatwas
mont hsago.Af terlunch,myhubbydecideda
wal kont hebeachwoul dbeaper f
ectwayt o
endof fourdate.Wel ef
tourshoesinthecar
thenst r
olledhandinhand.Iwasr eal
lyenjoy
ing
myt i
mewi t
hhim, j
ustthetwoofus
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouAbongi
we,
nev
erdoubtt
hat
Ismi
l
ed,
myhear
tiscont
entwi
tht
hismanr
ight
her
e.Socont
ent
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oobabe.
Isawanicecream tr
uckandIwantedice
cream,t
ojustfeell
i
keakidagai
n.Webought
twoconesthenheadedfort
hecar.Bythetime
hedroppedmeof fathome,i
twasjustaft
er6.
Hecamei ntosaygoodbyetohi
skidsthenlef
t
again
Yol
anda:
youl
ookni
ce
Me:
thanky
ou
Her
:di
dyouhav
efun?
Me:Idi
d.Wehadn'
tdonesomet
hingl
i
ket
hati
n
al
ongtime
Shesmiled.Iknowshemeanswellandher
concer
nscomef r
om agoodpl
ace.Ther
eisno
doubtaboutthat
Her
:I'
m gl
ad
Ibat
hedmyki
ds,
fedt
hem t
hengoti
nbedwi
th
them.Usi thandilewasmor econcer nedwi th
crawl ingal l overther oom, Iwasj ustgl adthere
wasacar petont hef l
oorbecausei twasabi t
cold.Thenex tdayIwokeupbr i
ghtandear lyfor
chur ch, bat hedmyki dst hent ookashower .Put
onmybodyhuggi ngmar oondr esst hatgoes
j
ustbel owt heknee, alightbr ownsl eev el
ess
coatandcar amel heels.Dr essedUsi thandilei
n
ay ellowdr ess, whi t
eleggi ngsandawhi t
e
j
acketwi thy ell
owpumps.Oy intandowasi nhis
nav ywar m onesi e.Ipackedt hei rbagssi ncewe
wer egoi ngt ogot oEsi khawi ni afterchur ch.My
phoner angasIwasf eedi ngUsi thandi leher
cereal andwai ti
ngf orLukhany at of inishup.
Lazol awasoutdr inkingl astni ghtsoIdoubthe
i
supf orchur chtodayandt hepar entsar e
takingt heirowncar
Me:
MrHadebe
Hel
aughed
Li
:Mr
sHadebe.Ar
eyouguy
sready
?I'
m al
most
t
her
e
Me:yes.I'
mjustf
eedi
ngpumpki
nnowt
hen
we'
l
lber eadyt
ogo.
Hear rivesaf ewmi nutesl aterthenwear eof f.
Afterchur ch,I'
m starving, that'
swhatIgetf or
skippingbr eakfast.Wegetboxmast ersanda
bucketf ormydad' shouset henthedr ivebegi ns.
Wehadt oleaveLukhany aatchur chwi thhi s
parent s.Whenwegethome, thehousei arather
quietwhi chmakesmewi shIhadcal ledbutI
want edt osurprisemydad.Wewal kedi nsi nce
i
twasn' tl
ocked, nothingint hi
swor ldcoul d
hav eev erpreparedmef ort hesoundsIhear d.
Sexsoundsi nmyf ather'shouse.It hinkIf elt
myst omacht urningandt hi smant hatImar r
ied
wasf inished.Laughi nglikehei sataTr evor
Noahshow.I '
m sogl admyki dsar eyoung
becauset hi
sist raumat i
zing.OnaSundayev en.
Ididn'tknowwhatt odo, doIgoandknockso
thattheyknowI 'm hereordoIj ustgrinand
bar
eitunt
ilt
heyar
edone?
Me:
let
'sgo
Li
:go?Gowher
e?
Me:Idon'tknow,
Alwa'
shousemaybe.Angaz
butIneedtogetoutofher
e.We'
l
lcomeback
l
ater
Hewasstil
ll
aughi
ngwhenhedr ov eusout
.
Goshthi
sisembarrassi
ng.Myfatheri
sn'
tthat
ol
d,heisi
nhisearl
y50sbutthethoughtofhim
bei
nginarel
ati
onshipisj
ustst
rangeforme
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*46*
"
Par
ent
hoodr
equi
resl
ovenotDNA.
"
Bytheti
mewegott oAlwa'shouse,Iwasfed
upwithLimi
le.Honestl
ythesituat
ionwit
hmy
dadandwhoev erhewasbonki nginthehouse
wasn'
tthatf
unnyormay beIchosenotto
ent
ertai
nthefunnysideofit
Li
:babecomeon,
youcan'
tbemadatmef
or
t
his
Me:
mxm wat
chme
Itookmyson, headedf
orthedoor,
Alwaknew
wewer ecomingbecauseIhadtext
edher.She
tookhernephewf r
om mewhilel
eadingusto
thelounge
Al
wa:hereal
lyshoul
dn'
tbetrav
eli
ng.Heist
wo
weeksol
d,heshouldbeathomesleepi
ng
Me:
Iknowbutwewant
edt
osur
pri
semydad
Li
:andi
nst
eadhesur
pri
sedus
Hewassti
lll
aughi
ng.I
'
ml eavi
nghi
m here.I
swearI
'
m nottaki
nghi
m withmetoDurban
Me:
mxm f
uckof
fwena
Li
:lol
that
'swhaty
ourdadisbusydoi
ng.
Fucki
ngoffsomever
yvocalwoman
Hepl
acedUsi
thandi
l
eont
hef
loorandshe
cr
awl
edtous
Al
wa:
OKguy
sfi
l
lmei
n
Me:
Ineedwi
nef
ir
st.
Icoul
dfeelLimil
e'
sdeathstar
ebutIdon'tcare,
Ineedsomethingtocalm medown.Alwat ol
d
Nhletobr
inguswi ne.Nowtheonethatwas
l
aughingi
sal l
seri
ous,Idon'
thav
etimef orhim
andhemust n'
tcomef ormebecauseI'
ll
t el
lhi
m
wheretogetoff
Li
:Abongi
wey
ouknowy
oucan'
tdr
ink
Me:lastt
imeIcheckedther
ewasnothi
ng
wrongwithmythroatormymouthsoIcan
dr
ink
Hi
m:youar
ebr
east
feedi
ng,
youar
enotal
l
owed
t
odri
nk
Me:
Googl
esay
sIcan.
Thewineglassesandt
hebott
learebr
oughtto
usandasmal lpar
tofmeisscar
edoftaki
ng
thatsi
pbecauseofwhatLimi
ghtdobutIneed
t
his.Ir
eal
l
yneedt
ocal
m down
Li
:Abongi
weI 'm warni
ngyou,youdon'
tfuck
wit
hmyki ds'well
-bei
ng.I
fyoufeelaneedto
cal
m downt hentakeawalk,t
hismansionhasa
hugeyar
d
Hewasn'tjokingandIdon'
twantt
otesthi
s
pat
ience.Ibreatheoutl
oudl
y
Me:
excuseme
I'
m almosti nt ears,Idon'tevenknowwhyI '
m
cryi
ng.I 'm probabl ysti
llgoingt hrought hepost
bir
thhor monesbecausehonest l
ymyf at her
havingsexi sn'tsomet hingt ocr yabout .Iend
upwal kingar oundt heyar djustasmyannoy i
ng
husbandsuggest ed.Alwa'sy ardi shuge, t
ot he
extentt haty oucanwal ksomucht haty oucan
nolongerseet hehousebuty ouar esti
ll within
they ard.Iset tleunderat reebyt helake.Yes
therei salake.I '
m sti
lli
nt ears,theyjustkeep
calmi ngandwhent heyev entuallystop, my
phoneri
ngs.I
t'
sanunknownnumber
.Idecl
i
ned
thecal
lbutwhoev
erwascall
i
ngwasona
missi
onsoendedupansweri
ng
Me:
what
?
Av
ery
:Abongi
we
Ohgoodlordyougottabekiddi
ngme.Whyi s
t
hisonecall
ingme.Hepr obabl
yt hi
nksI'
ve
for
got
tenthatheli
edtohismot herandmade
melookli
keabitchthatbrokehisheart
Me:
ser
iousl
ydude?Nowi
snotagoodt
ime
Hi
m:wi
thy
ouAbongi
wenot
imei
sev
eragood
t
ime
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantAv
ery
?
Him:
canwemeetup?Iknowy ouar
einDur
ban
andI
'mther
easwel
l.Ij
ustwantust
otal
k
Me:wehavenothi
ngtotalkaboutAvery
.Ifyou
wantt
oapologi
zethenIforgi
veyou.Therei
sno
needt
omeetup.Honestlymyl i
fehasenough
dr
ama.
Hi
m:i
tsabouty
ourdaught
er
Mydaughter
?WhatdoesAv eryknowabout
Usi
thandi
l
e?Hedoesn'tevenknowmydaughter,
hehasneverseenhersi
ncehedidn'
tbot
herto
cometoourwedding
Me:
whataboutUsi
thandi
l
e?
Hel
aughed,
compl
etel
yannoy
ingme
Him:younamedherUsi t
handi
l
e?Wow.Anyway
l
et'
smeetupf orbreakf
astonMondaywhen
yourhusbandgoesbacktoJozi
Me:
ser
iousl
yAv
ery
?Ar
eyoust
alki
ngmenow?
Idon'tknowwher ehecamef r
om orhowl ong
hehadbeenst andi
ngbehi
ndmebutt hewayhe
yankedt hephonefrom myeartol
dmet hathe
wasn'thappy.Igotupimmediatel
y
Li
:howmuchdoyouwantmetof
uckyouup
bef
orey
ougett
hemessage.
..
ohi
sthat
so..
.f
uckyouAverybruh..
.don'
tcomeformy
famil
ykwedin,
forthem Idon'tmindki
l
li
ngy
ou
Hehungupt henthr
ewmyphonei nthel
ake.My
i
Phone7guy s,t
hephonewasn'tevenamonth
ol
d,ithadallmybabies'pi
ctur
es,myweddi
ng
pi
ctures.Iwaspissed,
Iwon'tevenli
e
Me:
whatt
hef
uckLi
mil
e.Yenzeni
iphoney
am?
Li
:Icomeoutthehousetocheckonmywi f
e
becauseIf
igur
edyouwerenotOKandy ou
choosetof
indcomforti
nyourex.Whydidyou
marrymeifyouwantAvery
?
Hewasf uming,Ihaven'tseenhi
mt hi
sangr y
si
ncethatdayatShaun' splacewhenIfi
rst
di
scov
er edhisangerissues.Iwasn'
tscared,I
waspi
ssedaboutmyphone
Me: whyungakwaziukubuz
aLi
mil
e?Why
assumethewor st
?
Hi
m:mxm
Hetri
edwalki
ngawaybutIhel
dhi
sar
m and
pul
l
edhim back
Hi
m:Abongi
wey
oudon'
twantt
opi
ssmeof
f
Me:andifIdopi
ssy
ouof
fuzokwenzani
?
Uzongshaya?
Him:youwantittogetthereneh?Youwantme
tobeatyousoyouwi l
ltakemykidsandgo
shackupwithAvery.Welll
ist
enifyouwantt
o
gothengo,thedoorisopenbutthoseki
dswere
bornaHadebesot heyarenotgoingany
where
Me:ohwow.YouknowwhatI '
mt akingmykids
andgoingt
omyfather
'shouse.Clearl
yyou
needspace
Iwashurtbyhiswords,Iwon'tevenli
e.I
marchedint
ot hehouse,Ipi
ckedupUsi t
handi
le
andthemomentLi walkedin,shestar
tedcryi
ng
whichfr
ustr
atedme
Al
wa:
Abongi
wepl
easecal
m down.
Li
:i
fshewantst
oleavethenl
etherl
eav
e.She
wi
llpr
obabl
ygotoAvery
Me: yeahprobabl
ythat'
swhereI
'
llgo.Atl
east
Averydidn'
talwaysassumetheworstfr
om me.
Atleasthetrust
edmeunl i
keyou
MyhusbandandIwer eshouti
ngateachother,
Usi
thandi
lewasscreamingherlungsoutand
nowOy i
ntandowasalsocry
ing
Alwa:I
'm goingtotaketheki
dsupstairsand
youtwoar egoingtositdownandtalk.Not
scream buttal
kandy ouwil
lnotgettheseki
ds
backuntilyou'
vebothcalmeddown.Myhouse
i
snotawar zoneLi
mi l
e
Nhlehelpherwiththekidsandthey
disappearedupst
airsl
eavingmewi thLi
mile.I
satdownandsodi dhebutwedi dn'
tsay
anythi
ngt oeachother
.Wesatinsi l
encefor
hours,I'
dgetuptogetsomet hi
ngt odri
nkorgo
tothebathroom t
hencomebackandbecause
hehadaphonehewasbusyoni twhilemi ne
wasswi mmi ngi nthel ake.Iendedupswi tchi
ng
theTVonbecausehonest l
yt hiswasr i
diculous,
Imi ssedmybabi es.Iswi tchedt ocatchupand
wat chedaseasonofHowToGetAwayWi th
Mur der.I'
m ahugeShondaRhi mesfansoIwas
enjoyingi t
.Ievenf orgott hatIwaschi l
li
ngwi th
someoneunt i
lhisphoner angandheanswer ed
i
t.Hewasl aughingal itt
leext raandIdon' t
under standwhohewasl aughi ngwi t
hbecause
I'
m hishappi ness,I'mt heonewhoshoul dmake
himl augh.Nooneel se.Idi dn' twanttoshow
himt hatIwasj eal
oussoIj ustkeptqui etunti
l
hiscal l
wasov erthenheswi tchedtheTVof f
causingmet oturnar ound
Li:l
ist
enitsgett
inglat
eandIst
il
lhavetogot o
yourfatherandsti
ll
makeittoDurbanbefor
eit
getsdark.Oyint
andoisbaby
,hecan'tbeoutat
night
Me:
hmmm
Hi
m:hay
iAbongi
wey
int
oni
hmmm ngok?
Me:
itshmmm.I
tswhat
every
ouwant
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
ost
opent
ert
aini
ngy
ourex
Me:hady ounotthr
ownmyphonei nthelake
you'
dknowt hatIdi
dn'tcal
lhi
m,hecal
ledme
andthathisnumberisn'
tevensav
edonmy
phone
Hi
m:wheny our
eal
izedt
hati
twashi
m,why
di
dn'
tyouhangup?
Igavehim alookthatspokevolumes,
wemight
bemar r
iedbuthedoesn'tgettotel
lmewhatI
shoul
dandshoul dn'
tdowi t
hmyphone.What
keepsri
nginginmymi ndiswhatdoesAvery
havetodowi thUsit
handil
e
Me:
howdoesAv
eryknowUsi
thandi
l
e?
Hi
m:hedoesn'
t
Me:hesaidweneedtomeetupandt
alkabout
Usi
thandi
l
eandIthi
nkyouknowwhy
Him:Abongiwey ouwill
meetupwi t
hAv er
yov
er
mydeadbodyandi fyougobehindmyback
andmeethi m,youcankissthi
smar r
iage
goodbye.Ican'
tstanddisl
oyal
people
Me:awumeLimi
le,
doy
ouev
enr
ecogni
zewho
youar
etal
ki
ngto?
Helookedatmewi t
hfrownedeyebr
owsasi
fI
hadspokenafor
eignlanguaget
ohim
Hi
m:excuseme?
Me:thisi
smeLimile,
y ourwi
fe.Thewomany ou
marri
edbecauseyouknewhowmuchIl oveyou,
howmuchIwasapar tofyourteam andthen
youthrowthr
eat
smyway .Tomeoutofal l
people
Hesi
ghedt
henpausedf
orawhi
l
e
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
rymyangel
Me:
sav
eit
Hi
m:Abongi
wecomeon.I
tsj
ustt
hathear
ing
y
out
alki
ngt
ohi
mjustspar
kedmyi
nsecur
it
ies
Me:whywoul dyouhaveinsecuri
ti
es?I'
m here
wit
hyou.Imar r
iedyou.Igaveyouchil
drenandI
l
oveyou.I'm wi
thyoubecauseIloveyou,I
'm
notwi
thy oubecauseI'
mt ry
ingtorepl
aceAvery.
Justt
rustmeplease
Hi
m:Idot
rusty
oubut
Me:nobutsHadebe.Pl
ease.I
'
m st
ressed
enoughov
ermyf at
herhavi
ngsex
Ineededt ol
ightenupthemood.Ihat eitwhen
wef i
ghtespeciall
yoverstupidthi
ngsli
keAv er
y
Smith.Itwasenoughbecausehest ar
ted
l
aughingwhichmademel augh.Itwasquite
funnythatmyf atherwashav i
ngsex.Asmuch
aswewer ef
inenow, Isti
llwonderedwhat
AveryknewaboutUsi thandil
ebutIputitatthe
backofmymi nd.
Him:let
'sgetoutkidsthengoseet
hat
Casanovafatherofyours
Ihi
thi
schest,
thatwasst
il
lmyf
atherdespi
te
hi
sCasanovaways
Wewal kedi
ntoAlwa'
sroom t
ofi
ndhert
aki
ng
pi
ctur
esofmyki ds
Li
:dudewher
ear
eyourownki
ds?
Al
wa: t
heyarei
nEmpangeni
wit
hSino.Ineeded
abreak.Si
mphi
weandZonqobaar
edrivi
ngme
cr
azy.
Li
andIl
aughedwhi
l
eshaki
ngourheads
Me:lol
yousolazywheni
tcomest
othi
s
par
enti
ngthi
ng
Shel
aughed
Alwa:l
olwai
tunti
ltheset
wost
artwal
ki
ng.
You'
ll
seeforyour
self
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*47*
"Asingl
eli
ediscover
edi
senought
ocr
eat
e
doubtinever
ytrut
hexpr
essed.
"
Iwasdr eadi
ngthedr ivetomydad' shouse,
thosesexsoundskeptr i
ngi ngi
nmyhead.How
wasIgoi ngtofacehi m withoutgivi
ngitaway
thatIheardhim earl
ier.Whenwegott hereI
decidedtobeciv i
l
izedandknock.MaNt ombi
wast heonethatopenedf orus,thank
goodness
MaN:AbongiweLimil
e,I
'm sohappytoseey
ou
guy
sandy oubroughtt
helitt
leones
Iwascarry
ingOy i
ntandoinhi
ssleepersoI
huggedMaNt ombithenwewal kedtothe
l
ounge.Iswallowedspitwhi
leIcoul
dhear
Li
mile'
ssoftchuckl
es
Me:
sawbonababa
Hef ol
dedt
henewspaper,
smil
edthengotupt
o
takemyson,nohugforme.Thatsmi
lewas
probabl
ynotev
enforme
Baba:
thi
sisasur
pri
se
Li
:wehadt
ocomeshowy
ouy
ourgr
andson
Dad:
Isee.Heisbeaut
if
ul.Youdi
dwel
l
mkhwenyana
Uhm di
dIpl aynopar
tinmakingthi
schildor
bri
nghimt oli
fe?WhyisLimi
le'
sget
tingallthe
prai
seformybabymaki ngskil
l
s?Whatlifeis
thi
s?Iclear
edmyt hr
oatandmydadj ustlooked
atme
Dad:youshoul
dprobabl
ygetwat
erf
ort
hat
.It
doesn'
tsoundheal
thy
Mxm whatiswrongwi t
hthisman.Iwenttothe
kit
chenfort
hatwater
,notthatIneededi
tbutI
fel
tli
kethi
swastherightti
met osnoopabout
mydad'ssexli
feandwhobet tert
han
MaNt ombit
otel
lmeaboutdad' snewwoman
Me:
howhav
eyoubeenma?
Shesmil
essweetl
y,st
opswhatshei
sdoi
ng
andl
eansovert
hecounter
MaN:I
'v
ebeenwel
lbabyandy
ou?Wemi
ssy
ou
i
nthi
shouse
Shei
ssosweet
Me:Imissyouguy
stoobutcl
ear
lyubabai
s
gl
adI'
m outoft
hehouse
Her
:whydoy
ousayt
hat
?
Me:
wel
lforpr
ivacypur
posesy
ouknow
Her
:youf
atherl
ovesy
ouAbongi
we
Me:yeahIknow.Doyouknowi
fhehas
someoneinhisl
if
e?
Her
:someonei
nhi
sli
fe?
Me:
yeahl
i
keal
adyf
ri
endorsomet
hing
SheshakesherheadbutIdon'
tbuyit
.Therei
s
nowaymydadcoul dbedoingthehankypanky
andtheonl
yotherper
sonliv
ingint
hishouse
hasnoideawit
hwho
Me:
soy
ouguy
sdi
dn'
tgetanyv
isi
tor
stoday
?
baba:y
ou'
veal
way
sbeensuchabusybody
Abongi
we
Me:
babaI
..
.
baba:
youneedt
ochanget
hisbaby
HehandedOy i
ntandotomeandImar chedt o
whatusedt obemybedr oom, gentl
ypl acedhim
ont hebedt henchangedhi sdiaper.Iwas
hopi ngwhateverLimil
ehadt odi scusswi thmy
fatherwasdoneanddust edandwecanhead
home.I 'mtir
edandt hisdayhasn' tshi
edaway
from beingstressful
andf ull
ofdr ama.Li
wal kedinasIwasget tingOy i
ntandodr essed
up.Heki ssedmycheekandIi nstantl
yst ar
ted
mi ssinghi
m
Li
:yourdadwant
stot
alkt
owheny
ouar
edone.
Me:
wher
eisy
ourdaught
er?
Hi
m:i
nhergr
andf
ather
'sar
ms
Bef
oreIcoul
dpickmysonup, hetur
nedme
ar
oundtofacehim,cuppedmyfacethenki
ssed
mewithsomuchl oveandpassi
on.Il
oveit
whenheisli
kethi
s,i
tssuchaturnoneven
whenIknowIcan'thav
ehi m.Ibackedoutof
theki
ssaft
eralongwhile.Ihadtostopmysel
f
befor
eIgettur
nedon
Me:
whatwast
hatf
or?
Him:j
ustshowinglov
eformyamazingwife.I
knowI'
m noteasytodeal
withmeattimesbut
you'
vest
ayedwi t
hmeandf ort
hatIappr
eciat
e
you
Me:y
ouar eanamazi
nghusbandandf
ather
Li
mil
e,Ican'
ti
gnor
ethat
Hi
m:but
?
Me:
youknow
Hesighsthenl
ower
shishead.I'
m notgoi
ngt
o
pret
endli
keI'
m OKwit
hhim sendi
ngmyphone
swimming
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
Iknow.Myphone?
Hi
m:I
'
llgety
ouanewone.Abet
terone
WhenIwentt
omydad, If
oundhi
m wi
th
MaNtombi
.Usi
thandi
l
ewasonthefl
oor
Baba:
sitdownAbongi
we
Isatdown.ThislookedseriousandI'
m sur
ehe
wantstotal
kaboutt hi
sthreemont hst
hingthat
LiandIaretr
yingtogoar ound
Him:youagrownwomanAbongiwe,y
ouarea
wif
eandamot herandI
'
ver
aisedyouint
he
bestwayIknewhow
Inod
Him:Ispoketoy
ourhusbandandIunder
stand
whereheiscomingfr
om soIguesst
hereisno
harminbendi
ngcult
ureabit
Me:
real
l
y?Thanky
oubaba.
Him:Ial
sowantedt
otal
ktoy
ouaboutwhat
youhear
dearl
i
er
Me:
aski
es?
I
fLi
mil
etol
dmyf
atheraboutwhatwehear
d,I
wi
llki
l
lhim.ForonceI
'm notmaki
ngempt
y
t
hreat
s.Iwil
lski
nhim al
i
v e
Hi
m:y
oul
eftt
heKFCbucketont
hecount
er
Me:
oh
Him:exactl
y.I
'
m amanAbongiweand
obvi
ouslyIhaveneeds.I
'
veal
waysprot
ect
ed
youfr
om thewomenIwasseei ngov
erthe
year
s
Whatwomen?I'
veneverseent
hismanwi
th
women.Ev
er.Sothi
sisnewstome
Me:
hmmm
HetakesMaNt ombi
'shandi
ntohisandmy
ey
eswi den.Whati
sgoingonherekahl
ekahl
e?
Hi
m:Nt
ombi
andIar
einl
oveAbongi
we
Iwasi nneedofaspat ul
atoscrapemyj aw
from t
hefloor.Theshockwasev identonmy
face.Howdi dInotseethiscoming?Howdi dI
mi ssi
t?
Me:soyouguyswerej
ustwai
ti
ngformeto
l
eav
et hehousesoy
oucouldhavesexal
lov
eri
t
Hi
m:Abongi
we!
Ikeptquiet
.Whatelsecoul
dIsay ?Imeanit
s
hisli
feandhonest
lyift
hereisanyoneonthi
s
planett
hatdeser
veshappiness,i
tsmydad
MaN:wewant
edtotel
lyouAbongi
we,
wewer
e
j
ustwai
ti
ngf
orther
ightt
ime
Me:I'
m sorr
yforr
eact
ingl
i
ket
his.I
'
mjustst
il
l
shocked,
that'
sal
l
.
Hi
m:I
'
m happyAbongi
we
HeturnedtolookatMaNtombiandIdi
dn'tneed
anyfurt
herconvi
ncing,
Iwassold.Hel
ooked
happyandinloveandthat
'sal
lIwantf
orhim
Me:hayingi
yabonababa.I
'm happyforyou
guysandI'
ll
teachmyselft
ocallbeforecoming
her
e
Theybot
hlaughed.Myhusbandwal
kedi
ntot
he
l
oungewi
thhi
sson.Theyl
ooksocut
e
Li
:Ihat
etodi
stur
byouguy
sbutwehav
etoget
goi
ng
Baba:
alr
eady
?
Li
:ewet
atawewantt
ogett
oDur
banbef
orei
t
get
sdar
k
Mydadandhi sbae, gosht hat'sgoi ngtot ake
mont hstogetusedt o.Any wayt heywal kedus
out,sayi
nggoodby etotheki dsandwedr oveto
Durban.Twomont hspassed, wemov edinto
ournewhousewhi chIlov ed, Alwaj usthasa
thi
ngf orhugehousesandf oroncei tworkedin
mybenef it.Ist
illworkedinEmpangeni ,Idrove
ther
eev erydaysobyt hetimeI '
dgethomeI 'dbe
exhausted.Lucki l
ywehav eanannynow, so
shehandl esmycr azykids.Iwal ki ntothe
houseandUsi thandil
ecamer unningt ome
Usi
:mamamamamama
Nomat
terhowt
ir
edIam,
Icannev
ernotpi
ck
herup.Shehasgr
ownsomuch,i
njustacoupl
e
weeksshewill
betur
ningone
Me:
hel
l
omypumpki
n
Iki
ssedhercheekandshedi
dthesamet
ome
Me:
wher
eisdaddy
?
Her
:Dada
Iwal
kedupthestai
rswit
hhertomybedroom
wher
eIfoundherfat
hersl
eepi
ngonthebed
Her
:Dada
Iplacedheronthebedandshecrawledtoher
fatherandst
art
edhitt
inghi
sface.Il
aughedasI
tookmycl ot
hesoff
.
Li
:seri
ousl
yUsi
thandi
l
e?Undi
bet
hel
ant
on
bhabha?
Shegi
ggl
edwhilehet
ickl
edher,
hedidn'tev
en
seemebecauseIwasinthewal
kincloset
Li
:whobr
oughty
oui
nher
e?
Iwalkedoutinj
ustmyunder wear,
I'mthrowi
ng
hi
nts.Oyint
andowill
be3mont hsoldin3weeks
butIwill
bedeadbyt hen.Ineedsexual heal
i
ng
andtoputmynewbodyt ot hetest.I
'v
ebeen
workingmybuttoffatthegy m andIhav emy
bodyback
Me:
heybabe
Heli
ftedhi
seyesandthel ookhegavemewas
f
il
ledwithsomuchlustanddesire.Hewasnow
l
ookingatmeandnotf ocusingonhisdaught
er
Li
:heymyangel
.Fuck
Me:
languageLi
mil
e.Ther
eisachi
l
dint
he
r
oom
Hi
m:y
oul
ook.
..
wow.Yi
madon'
tmov
e
Me:
Ineedt
ogetdr
essedbaby
,it
scol
d
Al
lpar
tofmyplan,i
fI'
m get
ti
nglai
dtodaythen
i
thastocomefrom hi
sendsotheguil
twil
lbe
onhi
send.Hegotupfrom t
hebedwith
Usithandileandwentoutt hedoor.Ilaughedt o
my self.Allisgoi ngaccor dingtoplan.Whenhe
returned,Iwasl ay i
ngont hebed, helookedat
mewi thasmi rkt hengent l
yshookhi shead
beforet akinghi scl othesoffandremai nedi n
j
usthi sunder wear .Igotupf rom t
hebedand
stoodi nfrontofhi m wi t
hmyar msar oundhi s
neck, Itooki nthesi ghtofhisbodyanddamn.
Mymani sbl essedwi thasexybody .Ibr ushed
myl ipsagai nsthi sandhepar tedhislips.Iwent
i
nf ort hekiss, heki ssedmepassi onat elyand
hungr il
ywhi lehishandswentf ormyass,
grabbi ngitwhi lehismanhoodhar denedagai nst
myst omach
Me:
hmmm
IbrokethekissbuthekepthiseyesclosesasI
l
ower edhisbri
efsandsquattedi
nfrontofhim,
strokedhi
smanhoodasi tleakedprecum then
tookhimintomymout h
Li
:ohshi
tbabewoah
Myhandswer eonhi sbutt
,squeezingi
tgent
ly
asIdeepthroatedhim.Whenhecame, I
swall
owedandcont inuedtosuckhim sohe
st
ayshardthenpulledbackandst oodup.Hi
s
eyeswerestil
lshut
Hi
m:GodIl
ovey
ou
Hest ri
ppedmeof fmyunderweart henplaced
meont hebed.Gent l
ybit
ingonmyeart hen
suckingonmyneck.Hi smanhoodwasdi rect
ly
atmyent rance,Iwasdrippi
ngwetandj ust
wantedhi m deepi nsi
deme.Hi skisseslowered
tomybr easts,sucki
ngont hem andgent l
y
bit
ingont hem
Me:
shi
i
t
Hewast aki
nghisti
me,kissi
ngev er
yinchofmy
bodyunti
lhegottomythighs,hepartedthem
fur
thert
hengentl
ybitonmyi nnerthi
ghs
makingmesquirm al
loverthebed
Me:
ohgodbabypl
ease
Hi
m:shhhbabyI
'
vegoty
ou
Hebabyki ssedmycast leandel
ectr
ici
tyshot
threwmyent ir
ebodyt henheli
ckedme, sucked
met horoughlywhileIcameov erandov er
whol er
idinghisfaceandwhenhewassat i
sfi
ed,
hecamebackup, peckedmyl i
ps,makingme
tastemy selfonhisli
ps
Hi
m:y
out
ast
eamazi
ngy
ouknowt
hat
Hebrushedhi
smanhoodagai
nstmycast
le,
maki
ngmewanthim evenmore.Hewas
t
ort
uringme
Me:
Hadebepl
ease
Hi
m:y
ouwantt
hismyangel
?
Hewasnowpr
essi
ngi
tagai
nstmycl
i
tandI
scr
eamed
Hi
m:shhhhbabyi
tsal
lyour
s
Hepushedi
nmeandIdugmynai l
sdeepinhi
s
Backasheent
eredme.Thatf
ir
stt
hrusti
s
alwaysamazingandhediditsl
owlyand
careful
lyasi
fafr
aidhemighthurtme.Theway
hemov edi
nme,mademybodycr avehi
seven
mor e.Heknewwhichbut
tonstopr essf
orme
torespondacert
ainway
Me:
babyf
ast
er,
deeper
,har
der
Hepul l
edmyl egtohisshoulderandwentin
deeper,If
elthiminmysoul .Ourbodieswere
pressedagainsteachother
, wewereoneand
whenwebot hcli
maxed,I'
venev erf
eltcl
osert
o
hi
m.Heki ssedmyf or
eheadandwespooned
Hi
m:I
'
vemi
ssedy
ou
Me:
I'
vemi
ssedy
out
oo
Hekissedmyshoul derthensqueezedme
t
ightl
y.LaterthateveningImadepast aand
minceforsuppert hendishedforuswhile
Niki
wef edUsithandil
eandOy int
andowasbeing
f
edbyhi sfather
Li
:weneedt
otal
kaboutUsi
thandi
l
e'sbi
rt
hday
Me:Idon'
twantsomet
hingext
ra.Justf
ami
l
y
pl
ease
Hechuckl
ed.Imeantit.Hemightj
ustendup
havi
ngthebi
rthdayatuShakaMari
neworldi
fI
don'
tcont
rolt
hesituat
ion
Hi
m:whodoy
ouwantt
oinv
ite?
Me:
justf
ami
l
y.Bot
hourf
ami
l
ies
Ihadtogetapart
ypl
annerbecauseIdon'
thave
theti
metoorgani
zethispar
tyandshedidan
amazingj
ob.AMinni
emouset hemedpartyat
ourbackyar
d.Herbi
rthdaywasonthe22ndof
Julyandl
ucki
lyi
twasonaSat urday
.
Me:happybi
rt
hdaymyl
i
ttl
epr
incess.Il
ovey
ou
somuchmypumpkin
Li
:Il
ovey
out
oomypr
incess.
Hekissedherf
aceandshegi
ggled.Sheisjust
soadorabl
einherMinni
emouseoutfi
t.Weal l
hadtowearMinniemouseAl
i
cebands, even
theguys.Ev ery
onesangf orpumpkinandshe
l
ov edallt
heat tent
ion.Herfat
herandIhelped
herwithcuttingthecakethenwel ef
tthe
nanniestowat chthekids.Kwandogav ebir
thto
ababygi r
llastmont h.Theynamedher
Buhlebenkosi.Shelooksexactl
yli
keMi hl
e,so
cuteandshewasher easwellwit
hhernanny
Al
wa:
thi
sissuchachi
l
ledset
up
Li
yana:I
'
m sur
pri
sedy
oui
nvi
tedAv
eryand
Anesu
AnesuisAver y
'sson*rollseyes*anditwasLi
thati
nvit
edthem becauset heyaref
amilyor
somethingstupidli
ket hat.Hewasacut i
e,
l
ooksl i
kehismot herthough, I
'
m sti
l
lnotafan
ofthatAphelel
egi r
l.
Me:t
hat
'sal
lLi
mil
e'
sdoi
ng.I
'
m notAv
ery
's
f
ri
end
Yay
a:youar
eluckyy
oudon'thav
eki
dswit
hhim.
Thi
sthi
ngofhavi
ngkidswi
thanexi
sdr
aini
ng
Kwando:
ohpl
easeYandi
sa,
Alakhei
sani
ce
guy
Yaya:yestoyoubecauseyoudon'thaveki
ds
withhi
m.Any wayIdon'
twanttotalkaboutmy
ex.Abongiwethankyouforhav
ingus.Thekids
arehavingsomuchfun
Il
ookedoveratUsi
thandil
eandshewaspl ayi
ng
wi
thIsi
phil
eandSimphiwe.Thephot ogr
apher
wasdoingagreatj
obcapturingthem.Mybaby
l
ookedsohappy.Awhi l
elaterLi
camet owhere
wewerechil
li
ng
Li
:Ihopey
ouguy
sar
en'
tdr
inki
ngwi
neher
e
Al
wa:
youknowIam
Helaughedandshookhi
sheadt hensatnextto
me,kissi
ngmycheekfi
rstcausi
ngmet oblush.
GoshIlovet
hisguy
Li
:li
stenmyangelI
'
m goi
ngt
ogetbeer
swi
th
ShaunandLwakho.We'
ll
beback
Al
wa:
bri
ngmemor
ewi
ne
Li
:youar
eadr
unkar
dwenay
az
Al
wa:
leav
emeal
one
ButAl
wa, SinoandYandisadon'tplaywhenit
comestot hiswi
nething.Theydrinkli
kecrazy
.I
wenti
ntot hehousetogetmor ejuiceandwhen
IsawAveryi nt
herewithAnesuIwant edtoturn
backbuthesawmebef oreIcouldt ur
nback
Me:
dammi
t
Iwhisper
edtomysel
fasIappr
oachedt
he
ki
tchencount
er
Me:
hey
Anesur
anoutandhi
sfat
herdi
dn'
tfol
l
ow
Av
ery
:hey
.Ur
ight
?
Inodded,openedthefr
idgeandtookoutgrape
KrusherandasIwalkedawayhest oppedme
andagainIcursedundermybreath
Me:
Ican'
tbeent
ert
aini
ngy
ouAv
ery
Hi
m:becauseofLi
?
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Him:youthi
nkheisper
fectneh?Yourhusband.
Theguythatdoesn'
tmakeyoufeell
ikesecond
bestl
i
keIdid
Me:
what
'
syourpoi
ntAv
ery
?
Him:di
dhet el
lyouhowhehel dmeatgunpoi nt
formetogivehimthecharacterst
atementso
youguyscouldadoptUsit
handil
e?Andthat
whenIref
useddespi t
ehisthr
eats,hewent
aheadandhaditforged?
Wait,di
dhejustsaygunpoi
nt?For
gery?Il
ooked
Athim wit
hsomuchconf usi
on.Aver
yhadtobe
l
ying.Li
mileisn'
tali
ar,
hetol
dmehegott hat
st
atementf r
om Avery
Me:
whyar
eyout
ell
i
ngmet
his?
Hi
m:j
ustsoy
ouknowt
hathei
sn'
tper
fect
.He
i
sfuckedup,
hewil
lhur
tanyonewhoisany
one
j
ustsohecangetwhat
everhewant
s
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*48*
"Don'
tleti
nsecur
ethought
srui
nsomet
hing
amazing."
Idon'tknowwhybutf orsomer easonIj ust
start
edl aughing.WhatAv eryhadjustt oldme
wasnowher enearfunnybutwhatwasf unny
waswhyhehadt otellmenowoutofal lti
mes.
It
smydaught er'
sfir
stbi r
thdayandhewant st o
comeatmewi t
hsecr etsthatonlyheandLi
know.Secr etsthatIcoul dhav ebeenf inenot
knowingandsowhati fLimil
ehadt odot hings
thewr ongwayf ormet obehappy ?Bot tom line
i
st hatI'
m happy ,LiishappyandUsi thandileis
mor ethanj usthappysohonest lythisrighthere,
changesnot hi
ng,infactitgivesmemor e
reasont olovemyhusbandal i
tt
leext r
at onight.
Av
ery
:Abongi
wet
hisi
snotf
unny
.Youcan'
t
t
rustamanl
i
ket
hat
Me:amanlikewhat?Amanthatwoul
dgoto
t
heendsoftheeart
hjustt
oseemesmi l
e?A
manthatl
i
vestomakemehappy ?Awkahle
wenaAver
y
Itr
iedwalki
ngawaybuthepul
l
edmebymyar
m
andIcrashedi
ntohi
schest
Me:
whatt
hehe-
Ididn'
tgetachancet ofinishmysentence
beforehesmashedhi sl i
psontomi ne,mind
youwear einthemi ddleofthekit
chen,anyone
thatwastowal ki
nt hroughanydoorwoul dsee
whatwashappeni ng.Ittookmeagood2secs
formet oreal
i
zewhatwashappeni ngandI
pushedhim away,threwahotsl aponhisf ace
thencli
ckedmyt ongue
Me:ify
ouevertr
ythatagai
n,I
'
llmakesur
ey our
par
entspr
epareforafuner
alt
henextweekend
Hi
m:why
?Abongi
weIwasy
ourf
ir
st,
younev
er
f
orgety
ourf
ir
st
Me:
your
eal
l
ydi
dthi
nky
ouwer
emyf
ir
stneh?
Il
etoutachuckl easIwatchedhowhi sface
shif
tedfr
om arrogancetoconfusedi naspli
t
second.YesAv erywasmyf i
rst,Iknowthatand
heknowst hatbutheisannoyingmer i
ghtnow
sowhyshoul dn'tIt
oywit
hhisf eeli
ngs?
Hi
m:whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osayAbongi
we?
Me:thepar
tyi
sov
erbr
uh,
takey
ourki
dand
bounce
Hi
m: scr
ewthestupi
dpar
ty,
whatdoy
oumeanI
wasn'
tyourf
ir
st?
Me:
exact
lyt
hat
.Getov
eri
t
Iwal
kedawayleavinghi
mintheki
tchen,
Ifound
myfr
iendsandsighedheav
il
yasIsatdown
Kwando:
Aver
y?
Inodded,
pour
edmysel
fagl
assofj
uiceand
si
ppedonitsl
owl
y
Alwa:thatf
uckboycangetreal
l
yannoy i
ng.I
don'
tunderstandwhyhedoesn'
tjustf
indagir
l
andleaveyoualone
Yaya:
becausewhenLif
uckshi
m upagai
n, i
t
wil
lbeasifhei
stheonewit
hthepr
oblem and
notAver
y
Honest l
yIwasov erthisday.DeepdownIj ust
want edeveryonet oleaveandf ormyhusband
toreturnsowecancur lupont hecouchand
cuddle.Licamebackwi t
htheguy sandwe
decidedtoj ustturnthi
sintoachi l
lsession,
despitebeingov ereverythi
ngandev eryone,I
decidedtobeagoodhostandgr inandbar eit
.I
excusedmy selftogocheckont hebirt
hdaygirl
andherbr other,IfoundUsithandil
echill
ingon
thebedandOy i
ntandowasbei ngbat hedby
Niki
we
Usi
:mamamamamama
Shewasr
aisi
ngherar
msi
ntheai
rformet
o
takeherandIdi
dthensatontherocki
ngchai
r
withheri
nmyarms.Sher est
edherheadonmy
chestwhil
eIgaveherherbot
tl
e.
Li
:i
sshesl
eepy
?
Me:
Ithi
nkso
AndboywasIwrongbecauset
hemomentshe
hear
dherf
ather
'svoi
ce,
shecall
edf
orhi
m
Usi
:tat
ehdadat
ateh
Het ookherandIwat chedhappil
yhashe
rockedhertosleept hengentlyplacedheron
thebedandcov eredherwithherbl anket
.We
bothplacedkissesonhercheekt henwe
walkedoutbuti nsteadofgoingback
downst ai
rst
oourf ri
endsandf amily,hepul
l
ed
mei ntoourbedr oom
Me:
Hadebewehav
eguest
s
Li
:theyar
edri
nking,
theywon'
tnot
icedt
hatwe
ar
egone.I'
vemissedyou
Iwaswearingawhi t
ef reef l
owingdr essthat
camejustabovetheknee, It
ookt heheelsoff
agesagoandset t
ledforsl i
ppers,thisismy
housesonoonecanj udgeme.Hepl acedhis
handonmyt hi
ghandr aisedithigherhashe
ki
ssedmyneck, sucki
ngoni tabi ttoohard
Me:
aaahLi
mil
e
Hi
m:Iwanty
ou
Hishandwasal readyonmyass, giv
ingita
gentl
esqueezewhi lehisotherhandwasonmy
breast.Icouldfeelmy sel
fgrowingwetwi th
everytoucht hatheplacedonmyBody .Hisl
eft
handletgoofmybr eastandwentt omyback
andhesl owlyunzippedmydr ess.Atthispoi
nt
I'
m breathingheavil
y,mybodyi santici
pating
hiseverytouchandhei staki
nghi sti
me
Hi
m:y
ouhav
eagr
eatassy
ouknowt
hat
?
Heist
aki
ngt oolongsoIhel
phi
mt akemy
dr
essoff
,leavi
ngmei nj
ustmyunderwear
,not
thesex i
estpairIownbutst i
ll
sexynonetheless.
Hecl aspsmybr a,tossesitasi det
henstarts
suckingonmybr east,devouringmyson' s
sourceoff ood.Ifeelhisotherhandshifti
ngmy
panti
est othesideashi sf i
ngerslowlyenter
s
myf l
oodedcast le.Hegr oansloudlyathowwet
Iam
Hi
m:y
ouar
esor
eadyf
orme
Idon' thav etheener gyt outteranot herwor d,
I'
m gr indi
ngonhi sf i
nger ,f
eelingmyor gasm
buildingupandy earni
ngt orelease.Heent ersa
secondf ingerandImoanl oudl ybuthesi lences
mymoanswi t
haki ss,hi stongueent ersmy
mout h,explori
ngev er
yi nchofi twhilehef ucks
mer oughl ywithhisf i
nger sbringingmet oan
i
nt enseor gasm.Iwantmor e,Iwanthi m andI
wanthi mr ightnow.Iheart hesoundsofhi szip
andmycast l
et i
ngles,hisfingersarest il
l
rotatingmycl i
tslowl y
, givi
ngmeendl ess
pleasur e.Iwat chashel ower shispant st hen
hi
sbrief
sandhisdi
ckspringstoacti
on,I
swall
owhardthenl
ickmyl i
psasIwatchhim
st
roki
ngit,
gentl
yspreadi
ngtheprecum al
lover
i
t
Me:
canIgi
vehi
m aki
ss?
Asmi r
ktakesov erhisasIsquati nfr
ontofhi m,
str
okehim alit
tleandhegr oans.Hisey esare
fi
ll
edwithlustanddesire,
hewant smeandI '
m
hornyasfuckrightnowsoi tsat wowayt hing.I
suckonhist i
pfirst
,sl
owlyandgent lyandwhen
heplaceshishandonmyhead, Iknowhewant s
met ogofastbutIdon'tli
sten.Icontinuewith
myslowsucks
Hi
m:f
uckbaby
.Shi
tthatf
eel
sgood
Ismil
eont heinsideathowtur
nedonheisthen
cont
inuetort
uringhim sl
owl
ybutourf
unis
shor
tliv
edwhent her
eisabagonthedoor
Alwa:
youtwobetterst
opfucki
ngi
nther
e,Dabs
anduncl
eSosojustarr
ived
Li
:wh-
what
?
Al
wa:
youneedt
ocomer
ightnow
Ipi
ckupthepace,
grabonhi
sasscheekst
hen
deept
hroathi
m
Li
:shi
t
HelooksdownatmeandIknowheiscl
osesoI
gent
lysqueezehi
sbal
l
swhil
esucki
nghi
mf ast
Al
wa:
arey
oucomi
ngorwhat
?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ocum
Heislooki
ngatmesoIknowhei sn'
ttal
ki
ngto
Alwaanymore,
I'
m enj
oyt
hisi
ntendedpunfil
l
ed
conver
sati
on
Alwa:when?Shei
sgoingt
ost ar
taskingwher
e
youarethemomentshefi
nishesfussi
ngover
allt
heki
dsthatar
ehere
Suddenlyamuskytast
efi
l
lsmymout h,
heis
cummi ngsoIsuckmorei
ntensel
y,conti
nui
ng
tosqueezehi
sballs
Li
:ohshi
t.FuckbabyI
'
m cumi
ng
Al
wa:
real
l
yguy
s?Si
esmahn
Iswall
owhisseeds,
placeakissonhisabs
thenhi
schestandfi
nall
yhi
slipsthenwelaugh.
Alwaneverhasgoodti
mingthough
Li
:thatwast
hebestbl
owj
oby
ou'
veev
ergi
ven
me.Hmmm Iloveyou
Me:
Iai
mtopl
easebabywam
Hekissedmyfor
eheadthenpul
l
edmei
nfora
t
ighthugandpul
ledback
Me:Iwashopi
ngwecoul
dtal
kforasecbef
ore
headi
ngdownst
air
s
I
'm wal
kingt
owardsmybr
aandputi
tonwhi
l
e
hepull
suphispant
s
Hi
m:OKwhat
'sony
ourmi
nd?
Me:
itcanwai
t
Ipul
lmydr
essov
ermyheadandt
henr
eal
i
ze
thatIshoul
dpr
obabl
yshowersoIt
akei
tof
f
again
Hi
m:andnow?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oshowert
hengodown
Hi
m:why
?It
snotl
i
kewehadsex
Me:j
ustgot
oyourmamaanddaddywhi
l
eI
t
akeashower
Helaughsthenshakeshisheadwhilewal
ki
ng
towardst
hedoorandI '
m busytaki
ngmy
clot
hesoff
Hi
m:y
oudi
dn'
tgi
vemeananswer
?
Me:
to?
Hi
m:whenIsai
dIl
ovey
ou
Ilaugh,
wrapatowelaroundmybodyt
henwal
k
towardsourbat
hroom door
Me:
Imar
ri
edy
oudi
dn'
tI?
Hi
m:Ist
il
lwantt
oheari
t.
Ir
oll
myey
est
hensmi
l
e
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Ievenblewhi m akiss.Af
termyshowerIgot
dressedinthedressIhadbeenwear i
ngthen
wentdownst ai
rs.I
twasal readyt
heearl
y
eveningsotheheat erwasoni nt
hel
ounge
whileever
yonegat heredt
her e
Me:
sani
bonani
Ihuggedaunt
ieLwaanduncl
eSosothensat
downnextTomyhusbandwhowastednot i
me
i
nt aki
ngmyhandint
ohis
Lwa:wearesosor
rywemi
ssedt
hel
i
ttl
e
pr
incess'
par
ty
Soso:
ourfl
ightgotdel
ayedf
rom Par
isbutwe
comebarr
inggift
s
Il
ookedov
eratt
hegiftbagsonthefloor
,must
beni
cebei
ngUsi
thandil
eyaz.Gett
inggif
tsf
rom
Par
is
Li
:i
tsOKmama,
shehadf
unt
hough.
Lwa:I'
m gladshedi
d.Wewer ejustst
oppingby
todropoffhergi
ft
s.Wewi l
lseeherkahl
e
tomorrow.Abongi
wepleasehelpmewi t
ht hese
gif
tbags
Itookthegi f
tbags,Icoul
donlycarr
ytwoand
shecar r
iedtheothertwo.4biggi
ftbagsfora
oney earold.Whatli
feisthi
s?Wewal kedtothe
nursery,pl
acedthem ther
ethenshewat ched
overthekids
Lwa:youreall
yhavebeauti
ful
chi
l
dren.So
beaut
iful
,fr
agil
eandinnocent
Ismil
edandal
sot
ookamomentt
owat
chmy
sl
eepi
ngangel
s
Me:
ngy
abongama
Her
:befor
eIcomeovert
oseethekids
t
omorrow,I
'dl
ikeust
ogooutf
orlunch
Me:
justt
het
woofus?
Her
:yes.Don'
twor
ryIwon'
tbi
te
Shesmi l
esgenui nelyandIdot hesame.I '
ve
alwayssaidthatIlov et
hiswoman.Sher ai
sed
myamazi nghusband.Whenev eryonehadleft
,I
gotinbedandwai tedformyhusbandwhowas
taki
ngashower .Myphonemadeasound
i
ndicati
ngani ncomi ngtextsoIplacedthebook
Ihadbeenr eadingont henightstandandt ook
myphone
Fr
om:
+27811294518
IMISSYOUABONGI WEANDTHATKI SSMADE
MEREALIZETHATI '
VENEVERSTOPPED
LOVINGYOU.IKNOW IHURTYOUANDIWANT
TOFIXTHEMI STAKESFROM MYLAST.
PLEASELETMEFI XMYMI STAKES
Ididn'tevenhavetothi
nktoomuchastofigure
outwhot hetextwasfr
om soIj
ustdel
etedit
,
cl
ickedmyt ongueandtossedt
hephoneont he
ni
ght stand
Li
:heyI
'
m st
il
lpay
ingf
ort
hatphone
Ismi
l
edner
vousl
yasheappr
oachedt
hebed.
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*49*
"
Ify
ouwantt
obet
rust
ed,
justbehonest
."
DoIlikeAvery
?No.DoIwanthi m dead?I'
m not
surehey,t
hat'
sat oughone.DoIwantmy
husbandinjai
lformurder?Hel
lno.Ican'
thave
propersexinj
ailbutAver
yneedstoknowt her
e
areli
nesdrawnandhehasbeencr ossingthem.
Li
:ist
her
ear easonwhyy
ouar
ethr
owi
ngt
he
phonear
ound?
Me:yepbuti
tcanwai
t.Iwantust
otal
kabout
somethi
ng
Hefi
nishedputt
inglot
iononhisbodythengot
i
nbed.Ihatehavingsecret
sbetweenus,i
tjust
det
eri
oratest
het r
ust
Hi
m:what
'sony
ourmi
ndbabe?
Me:
whydi
dyoui
nvi
teAv
eryt
oUsi
thandi
l
e's
bi
rt
hdaypar
ty?
Him: Usithandil
eisababy,
Averyhasachil
dso
technical
lyIinvit
edAnesubutIspoketoAver
y
abouti t
.Why ?Wer ey
ouuncomf or
tabl
ewit
h
him beingher e?
Ishookmyhead, bef
orespeakingtohi
mint
he
ki
tchen,Ihadjustzonedhim out.I
twasasi
f
him andhischil
ddidn'texi
st
Hi
m:t
henwhat
'
swr
ong?
Itol
dhim aboutwhatAv er
yhadt ol
dmeabout
Usit
handil
e'
spapersandhowshecameabout
tobeingourchi
ld.Hisfacetensedup,
noti
nan
angrywaybutratherinnerv
ousway
Hi
m:babyIcanex
plai
nthat
Me:
rat
herdon'
t.I
'
m notmadaty
ouf
ori
t
Hestart
edt orel
axandpulledmeclosert
ome.
Hisacti
onscamef rom agoodplace,
we
neededthatchil
dinourli
vesandshehas
br
oughtsomuchhappi
ness
Me: butcanwenothav
esuchsecr
etsbet
ween
usbecausesomeoneisal
waysgoi
ngtobe
readytospil
lthem.
Hi
m:someonebei
ngAv
ery
?
Me:yes.Whi
chiswhyI'
m hopi
ngy
ouwi
l
lst
ay
cal
m aft
erIt
ell
youthi
s
Hefrowned,l
ookingallconfusedasItookina
deepbreat
handsl owlyexhaled.All
I'
m pr
aying
fori
sthathedoesn'tstor
m outlikeheusual
ly
doeswhenhei sangry
Hi
m:whatdi
dhedo?
Me:heki
ssedme.Ipul
l
edawayi
mmedi
atel
y,I
swear
Idon'tknowwhyIsoundedsodefensiv
e,
probablybecauseIknowt
hemanImar r
ied,I
knowhowheget swhenheisangr
yespeci al
l
y
wheni tcomestomeandAv er
y.Ifel
thisbody
tenseupal
loveragai
n,hi
sbreathi
nghad
suddenl
ychangedandforthefi
rstt
imeIwas
afrai
dtol
ookathim
Hi
m:hedi
dwhat
?
Idon'
tthi
nkheint
endedf
orthatt
ocomeoutas
awhisper,
heclut
chedhi
sfi
stsandi
mmediat
ely
gotoutofbed
Me:
babypl
easecal
m down
Him: cal
m downAbongi
we?Seri
ously
?That'
s
whaty ouaret
ell
i
ngmer i
ghtnow.Tofucken
cal
m down?Thatguyputhishandsandhisli
ps
onmywi f
eandyouwantmet ocal
m down.
Forgetit
Heopenedt hecloset
,walkedinandcameback
wit
hbl acksweat pant
s,blacksweat erandblack
sneakers.Myhear twasnowbeat i
ngi nmy
thr
oatasIwat chedhim getdressed,Igotoutof
bedandIappr oachedhim.I'
venev erseenhim
thi
sangr y,
whenwewer eatAl wa'shousehe
wasn'
tthi
sangr
y.
Me:
Limi
l
epl
easedon'
tgoaf
terhi
m
Hi
m:mxm
Hesatonthechairinfr
ontofthedr
esserand
puthi
ssneakersonthenstooduptotakehis
phonefr
om thenightst
andthenwalked
towar
dsthedoor
Me:i
fyouwalkoutt
hatdoor
,youwon'
tfi
nd
ki
dsandIher
ewheny oucomeback
Him:I
'm notcomingback.Af
terIki
l
lAv
ery
,I'
m
handi
ngmy selfovert
othepol
ice
Ifel
tthet
earsbur
ningi
nmyeyesbutIdi
dn'
t
daretobl
ink,
maybeIdi
dn'
thearhi
m pr
oper
ly.
Me:
excuseme?
Hi
m:y
ouhear
dme
Me:3monthsol
d.That'showyoungyoursonis
Li
mil
e.3monthsold.Youwanthimtogrowup
wi
thouty
ou?Isthathowselfi
shyouare?Tolet
mer ai
set
wokidsonmyownwhi
l
eyou
vacati
oni
njai
l
?
AsmuchasIknowI '
m hisweakness,
theki
ds
areanevenbiggerweaknesstohim.Iwat
ched
howheslowlyletgoofthedoorhandlet
he
punchedthewall
,gi
vingmeaf ri
ght
Hi
m:f
uck
Hel ookedathi sbl
eedingknuckl est
henshook
hishandr epeatedl
y.I
'mj ustgladhewasn't
l
eav ingbuthewasst il
lpissedashel l
.Whenhe
retr
eat edtot hebathr
oom, Igotbackinbed,my
heartst il
ldoing500mph.It ookmyphonef r
om
theni ghtstandanddi aledaunt i
eLwa'snumber
.
Itwasal most10pm butt hiscouldn'
twait
.She
answer edafteralongwhi l
e
Lwa:
Abongi
wei
sev
ery
thi
ngOK?
Me:noma,ever
ythi
ngi
sJustamessandIdon'
t
knowwhatt
odoany mor
e.
Her
:OKbabycal
m downandt
ell
mewhat
'
s
goi
ngon?Ar
eyouOK?Ar
etheki
dsOK?
Inodded,
for
get
ti
ngt
hatshecan'
tseeme.The
tear
swerenowfl
owi
ng
Me: macanwecomeov ertoyourhouse
tomor r
ow?Therei
snowaytosolvethi
swi t
hout
eldersanymor
e.We'v
etr
iedbutweneedy our
guidance
Her:OKnopr obl
em.I'
l
lseey
ouguysinthe
morning.Dr
inksomechamomil
etea,
itshoul
d
hel
py outocalm down
Me:
ngy
abongama
Ihungupandj ustcov er
edmyheadwi tht
he
comf orter
.Thewhol et i
mewhatkeptpl ay
ingin
mymi ndishoweasi lyLimil
ewasr eadyto
forgetthekidsandIj ustforthesakeofgett
ing
Aver youttheway .Igetthathisegowas
bruisedbuttoj ustwantt ogot ojai
loverakiss.
Thati sscary.Idon'tknowwhenhegotbacki n
bedbecausewhenIwokeuphehadhi sarm
ti
ghtl
ywr appedaroundme.Hi shandwas
bandagedandhewasf astasleep.Igentl
ygot
outofbed, t
ookaqui ckshowert henputmy
gownov ermysweat pant sandT- shi
rtandwent
tocheckonNi ki
weandt hekids
Me:
goodmor
ningguy
s
Ni
ki
:mor
ningsi
sAbongi
we
ItookOy i
ntandof rom herandsatont hebar
stool bythecount erwithhisbot t
leinmyhand
andf edhi m.Usithandilewassi tt
ingonher
feedingchai r
.Mysonwasl ookingmor el
ikehi
s
fatherwi t
hev erypassingday .Istaredathim
whi l
eIt houghtthathadInotst oppedhi mlast
night,Limilewouldbei njailr
ightnow.Af ter
hav i
ngbr eakfast,IwenttowakeLi mi l
eup,I
didn'twantt obel atef
oraunt ieLwa' shouse
Li
:hmmm
Me:
vukawehav
etogo
Hi
m:go?Gowher
e?
Hi
seyeswer
est
il
lcl
osedwhi
chmeanshei
sn'
t
ev
enawake
Me:
vukaLi
mil
ehaw
Hi
m:I
'
m up.Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Me:
yourmama'
shouse
Hiseyesshotwi
deopenedandhesatuponthe
bed,st
ari
ngatmeasifIhadspokenafor
eign
l
anguagetohim
Me:
goshower
Hi
m:y
imakal
okbaby
.Udewaf
ounel
aumamam?
Me:yes.Angi
thiwhenyouareangryyougo
cr
azy.Idon'
teventhi
nkthoseanger
managementclassesworkedl
akuwe
Him:hadt
heynotwor
ked,
yourboy
fri
endwoul
d
bedeadbynow
Me:
mxm goshower
Hi
m:i
zandphuze
Me:
nohaw.Goshower
Iwasget t
ingdr essedashesl owlygotoutof
bedanddr aggedhi mselftothebathroom.I
reall
ywishIwasgoi ngtochurchinsteadof
fi
x i
ngmypr oblems.Igotdr essedinblackj
eans,
agr eybl
ouseandabr owncoatandbr ownknee
highboots.Iti
edmyt wisti
nabunandkeptt he
makeupatami nimum.Whenhecameoutt he
bathroom,Iwasal readydoneandheadi ngout
thedoortomyki ds
Hi
m:ndcel
auxol
omyangel
Me:
I'
ll
bedownst
air
s
Oy i
ntandowasal r
eadybathedwhi leUsit
handil
e
wasbei ngfed.Ibondedwiththem untilt
heir
dadmadehi swaydownt hest air
sdressedin
blackjeans,askyblueT-shi
rtandwhi t
e
sneakers.Hepickedhisdaught erup,t
hrewher
i
nt heairthencaughtheragain.Shelaughedso
much
Li
:mypr
incess
Heki
ssedherl
ipsthenputherbackonthechai
r
t
hencametome, placedal
ongbabykissonmy
l
ipst
henpul
ledback
Hi
m:myqueen
Hewassmi
l
ing,
Iwasn'
t.Idon'
thav
etheener
gy
f
ort
his.
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tl
ovemeany
mor
e?
Me:
canwel
eav
e?
Ipl
acedOyi
ntandoonhi
spl
aymat
,gr
abbedmy
handbagt
hengotup
Me:
wewi
l
lbebackl
aterNi
ki
Ni
ki
:al
ri
ghtsi
si
Thedr i
vetoaunti
eLwa'shousewasan
awkwar don,hekeptapologizi
ngandIkept
i
gnoringhim.Whenwegott here,Av
erywas
ther
e.Ev enbet
ter
.Wegr eetedthensatdown.I
t
wasasi faunti
eLwaknewt hecauseofall
our
pr
obl
ems
Soso:
Aver
y
Av
ery
:Ta'
mnci
Soso:y
int
oni
inxakiyakhokwedi
ni?Ar
ether
eno
si
nglewomenlefti
ntheworld?
Aver
ykeptquietandkepthi
sheadbowed.This
onenexttomewasshaki ngfr
om angerandme
pl
acingmyhandonhi sthi
ghdidn'
tchange
anyt
hing.Hehasn'
ttakenhi
seyesoffAvery
si
ncewegother e
Soso: Iwanttotel
lyouboysalit
tl
estory
.This
thi
ngt hatyouguysareexperi
enci
ngisn'
t
somet hi
ngnewi nthisfami
lyandIt
sprobably
becauset her
earesomanymeni nthi
sfamily.
Jasonwasoncei nlovewit
hmywi fe,
tothe
extentthatheputhisli
psonHeranddoy ou
knowwhatIdi d?
Li
:what
?
Thedramainthi
sfamil
ygoeswaybackIt
ell
you.Theyar
esoscandal
ous
Soso:Ifuckedhim up,samewayy oufuckedup
Avery
.Ther ewasbadbl oodbetweenusf ora
l
ongt i
met otheextentthathewasn'tev
en
i
nvit
edt oourwedding.Thepointissuchthings
happen,theyshoul
dn'thappenandtheyar enot
ri
ght
Av
ery
:Iwaswi
thAbongi
wef
ir
st
Lwa:andy
oudi
dn'
ttr
eatherpr
oper
ly,
youl
eft
her
Aver
y:Icamebackaunti
eLwa.Waybef or
et hey
gotmarri
ed,
Itol
dherIsti
lll
ovedherandthatI
camebacktoDurbanforher.
Li
:youhadyourchanceAver
yandy
ouf
uckedi
t
up.Youl
eftherf
oryourbabymama
Hetookmyl
efthandandshowedhi
m myr
ing
f
inger
Li:t
hisisn'
tmygi rl
fr
iend,sheismywi f
eandlike
Itol
dy oubef or
eIwoul dn'
tmi ndkil
l
ingy ouj
ust
toensuret hatyoustayoutofourl i
ves.Theonly
reasony ouarestil
lali
verightnowisbecauseof
Abongiwe.Youki ssedmywi feAvery.Mywife
HegotupandsodiduncleSoso.RightnowI'
m
shaki
ngfr
om al
lthefeart
hathastakenovermy
bodyandmyheartisbacktoraci
nginmy
thr
oat
Soso:MaHadebepl
easeexcuseus.Ineedt
o
tal
ktotheseboy
s.Ni
namasambe
Me:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Soso:
we'
l
lbeback.Wear
ejustgoi
ngt
otal
kas
men
Lwa:
don'
thur
tmychi
l
drenLwandi
so
Soso:thesearenotchi
ldr
enmyl ove.Theyar
e
men,fatherst
oboy sandIjustneedtogiv
e
them acrashcourseofwhatitmeanstobea
man,ahusbandandaf at
her.
Hekissedaunt
ieLwa'
scheekt
henherl
i
ps.
Thesetwothough.
Lwa:
Ilov
eyou
Soso:
iyakt
handai
ndoday
akhoMaHadebe
[
08/
18,
15:
38]Mca:
*50*
"
Whatf
eel
sli
ket
heendi
sof
tent
hebegi
nni
ng.
"
Isatworri
edlymostoft hedayandaunt i
eLwa
wassochi l
led, clear
lyshet r
ustedherhusband
butIontheot herhanddi dn'
t.I'
vehear dthe
rumoursaboutt hatman, howhi m andhi s
brot
herbeatupYandi sa'
sex, howhebeatup
hisownbrot herbecauseheki ssedhiswi feand
howhef ucksupany onethatev enthinksof
harminghisf ami l
y.I
'm scaredoft hatman
Lwa:youar
egoi
ngt
odr
ivey
our
sel
fcr
azyi
fyou
don'
trel
ax
Me:they
'vebeengonef
or3hr
saunt
ieLwa.I
can'
thel
pbutworry
Shel
aughswhi
l
eshaki
ngherhead
Her:
youareevencounti
ngthehours?Theywi
l
l
comeback.Ican'
tguar
anteethatt
heywil
l
comebackinonepiecebutbazobuya
Myey esshotwi deopenandshel aughedev en
mor e,shewi l
l kil
lmebef oret hiswhol ecr ash
courset hatmyhusbandwentondoes.Igetup
togot ot hebat hroom anduset hi soppor tunit
y
tocallLimi le.Atl easti
fIhearhi sv oi
ce, I'
l
l know
tocalm down.Hi sphoneringsunt ili
treaches
voicemai l.Itryagai nandthesamet hi
ng
happens.I '
m nowcl osetot ears, Idon'tknow
whatt ot hink,thinkingthewor stisdr i
vingme
crazy.I'
vebeensi tti
nginthebat hroom f ora
whilenowwhensuddenl yther eisaknockon
thedoor
Lwa:
Abongi
wear
eyoust
il
lOKi
nther
e
Isnif
fquickl
y,bl
owmynoset
henfl
usht
he
toi
letandwashmyhandsbef
orewal
ki
ngout
.
Aunti
eLwai
satt
hedoorwi
thacupoft
ea.So
st
range
Her:
her
e.Dri
nkthi
sandgolaydown.I
'
llwake
youupwhentheycomeback
Inodi
nagreementandheadtothespar
eroom.
Aft
erdowni
ngmyt ea,
Igetundert
hecover
s
andsl
owlydri
ftof
f
*
#nar
rat
ed
LimileandAveryhadnoideawhatwasi nstor
e
forthem andLimil
ewasstill
fumingwit
hanger.
Whatanger edhimthemostwast hatAver
ysaw
nothingwrongwithhi
sactions,
hewaswi l
li
ng
tofighthi
mf orhi
swife.
Av
ery
:wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Li
:yesesy
out
alkt
oomuch.Suchal
i
ttl
ebi
tch
nxa
Soso:
Limi
l
e!
Li
mi l
esankinhi sseatandt
hrewhishead
backwardsinfrustr
ati
on.Af
terwhatfel
tli
ke
eter
nit
y,thecarcamet oastopinfr
ontofan
ol
dbui l
ding
Soso:
wear
eher
e
Av
ery
:whati
sthi
spl
ace?
Soso:
comeandsee
Theywal kedtot hedoor ,cur
iosit
yonboththese
ment hathavef oundt hemselvesinlovewi
th
thesamewoman.SosohandedAv er
yand
Limi
lesomet hingt hatlookedlikegoggl
es
Soso:i
tspi
tchblacki
nthere.Youtwoaregoing
tohavetoworktoget
hertofightof
ftheguy
s
thatar
einther
e
Li
:thesear
eni
ghtgoggl
es?
Av
ery
:obv
iousl
y
Soso:butonl
yoneoft
hem wor
k.Theonewi
th
theworki
nggoggl
eswil
lhavet
oguidet
heone
wi
tht
hebr
okenones.
Li
mil
e:what
'st
hepoi
ntoft
hiswhol
ethi
ng?
Sosol aughedbutdi dn'trespond.Hewant edto
teacht hesetwot hei mportanceoffamilyand
havingeachot her '
sbacks.Hewant edthem t
o
knowt hatwithoutt r
usty ouhav enothi
ngand
hedi ditonpur poset ogivetheworkinggoggles
toLimi l
einsteadofAv er
ybecausei twasLi t
hat
neededt olearnt otrust.
Av
ery
:howmanyguy
sar
eint
her
e?
Soso:
goi
nandf
indout
.
Heopenedt hedoorandtheywalkedi
nwhi l
e,
Sosohadhi sowngogglesbuthewasn'tgoing
tohelpthem.Hewasgoi ngtost
andatt he
cornerandwatch.
Av
ery
:mygoggl
esdon'
twor
k
Li
mil
elaughed
Li
:shame
Li
mi l
espottedaguyheadt owardsAv er
y'
sway
butdidn'
tsayanythi
ng.Theguypunchedhi m
onthestomachandhegr oanedinagony.The
guythatapproachedLi
milehadnol uck
becauseLipunchedhim ont henose
Av
ery
:whatt
hef
uckwast
hat
?
Li:keepy
ourey
esopenandy
ouwon'
tget
fuckedup
Av
ery
:it
sfuckendar
k,Ican'
tseej
ack
Li
:agai
n.Shame
Av
ery
:br
uhcomeon
Averygotanot
herpunchandakickthi
stime
whil
eLimil
ewassucceedinginfi
ght
ingofft
he
guythatwasattacki
nghi
m.Thereweretwo
guysandtwooft hem,af
airf
ight
.Unfai
rtot
he
onethatwasbli
nd
Av
ery
:br
uhhowabouty
ouwor
kwi
thmeher
e
Li
:wor
kwi
thy
ou?Whatf
or?Idon'
tsav
ethe
assesofguy
sthatl
ustov
ermywi
fe
Av
erywasget
ti
ngonehel
lofabeat
ing
Li
:youhady
ourchancet
olov
eherand
Tr
eatherr
ightbuty
ouf
uckedi
tup
Aver
y:OKOKI
'
m sor
ry.Hel
pmeouther
e.
Pl
ease
Li
:I'
m goi
ngtolettheseguysbeatyoutoapulp
becauseyoudon'
tlist
en.I
'v
ebeggedy out
o
l
eaveAbongiwealoneandy oudeci
detokiss
her
Av
ery
:I'
l
lst
ayawayf
rom her
.Ipr
omi
se
Li
:andi
fyoudon'
t?
Avery
:youcankil
lme.Idon'
tpr
omiset
ost
op
l
ovingherbutIpr
omisetost
ayaway
Anintensekicktohisr
ibsl
andedhi
m ont
he
fl
oorandLi mil
eendedupfi
ghti
ngtwoguy
s
whil
eAv eryrecover
ed
Li
:OKf
ine.Getup
Av
eryst
oodupandwander
edai
mlessl
y
Li
:i
ncomi
ngony
ourr
ight
.Ki
ck
*
WhenIwokeupIwasmetbyhi sbi
gbr
own
eyesandafaintsmil
e.Hehadafewminor
br
uisesonhisfaceandati
nycutonhi
slip.
Honestl
yIexpectedt
oseeworse
Li
:heymyangel
Ir
ubbedmyey
esandsatupont
hebed.
Me:
heyy
ouar
eback
Hi
m:I
'
llal
way
scomebackt
oyou.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
wher
edi
dyouguy
sgo?
Helaughsashegetsi
nbed,I
'
m happyhei
sOK
butI
'm cur
iousast
owherehewas
Him:wewentt
owar
.Av
eryi
sweakl
i
ng.Hegot
beat
enup
Me:
ser
veshi
mri
ght
.Let
'sgohome
Hi
m:I
'
mtoodr
unkt
odr
ivepl
usI
'
m sohor
ny
Me:soyouweredr
inki
ngwhil
eIwasworri
ed
si
ckabouty
ou.Whydidn'
tyouanswery
our
phone?
Myvoicewasr ai
sed,
Iwasr eal
l
yannoyedwit
h
hi
mr i
ghtnowandal lhehadonhisfacewasa
smir
k.Afreakensmirk
Him:youknowwe' venev
erhadsexatei
therof
ourparent
s'houses
Me:
andi
twi
l
lst
ayl
i
ket
hat
Agai
nthesmi
rki
ntensi
fi
ed
Him:comeher
eIwanty
out
oli
stent
o
somethi
ng
Igotoutofbedandf
oll
owedhi
m outt
hedoor
toaunti
eLwa'sr
oom door
Me:
whyar
ewest
andi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:shhandl
i
sten
Wewerewhisper
ingsoIshutupandpl
acedmy
headont
hedoorandallIhear
dwas"ohyes
fuckmeSoso.
"AndIhadheardenough
Me:
whatt
he.
..
Hi
m:daddyi
slay
ingdownsomeser
iouspi
pe
Ihi
thischestandhel
aughed.Thi
sisdisturbing.
Li
steni
ngtooldpeopl
ehavingsexi
sdisturbing
Me:
Iwantt
ogot
omyhouse
Hi
m:youdon'
twantt
oscr
eam "
ohy
esf
uckme
Li
mil
e"?
Me:
fucky
ou
Hi
m:wi
thpl
easur
e
Hedraggedmetot her
oom Iwasasleepin,
cl
osedthedoorandtookoffal
lmyclothes
whil
ekissi
ngandsucki
ngonmyneckand
br
easts.Whenhisheaddi
vedbetweenmyl egsI
l
ostit
.Hesuckedandbitontomyclitwhil
e
fucki
ngmewi thhisfi
ngerandIdidscr
eam "oh
fuckmeLi mil
e."Af
tert
heintensef
ucksessi
on,
Icurl
edupi nhi
sar msandlaidmyheadonhis
chest.Thi
sreall
yfeel
sli
kehome
Li
:doy
oubel
i
evei
nsoul
mat
es?
Me:
yesIdo.Why
?
Him:Idi
dn'tunti
lImety ou.Ever
ythi
ngabout
youcompli
ment sev er
ythi
ngaboutme.Wear e
dif
fer
entbutwebl endwell.Fr
om thefi
rstdayI
metyouatt heburgerjoi
nt
Me:
Roccomama'
s
Him:yest hatplace.Wheny ouwer ehavi
ng
l
unchwi thLwakhoandIwaswi thKwando.I
knewf r
om t hatmomentt hatyouwer etheone
I'
m desti
nedt obewi th,
theoneI '
ll
findareason
tochangei ntoabet t
ermanf or.If
oundmy
desti
nyont hatonepar t
icul
ardayandIf oundit
i
ny ou
Iwasatal
ostf
orwor
ds.Whycoul
dn'
ti
thav
e
beenthateasyforme?WhydidIhavetogo
thr
oughallthehell
wit
hAvery
,mymot herand
l
osingourchil
d?Whycouldn'
tIknowwhereto
goinordertofi
ndwhatI'
vebeendest
inedfor
?
Me:youaremysoul
mateandIguessmy
dest
inyi
ssti
l
lbei
ngwri
tt
en
Hekissedmyf oreheadthenli
ft
edmeupfora
moreintensekiss.I
twasn'tl
eadi
ngany
where
butj
ustexpressinglov
e
Him: i
t'
salr
eadywri
tten,y
oujusthavetoopen
youreyesandseeit
.Somet i
mesdest i
nyhasa
wayoff i
ndingyoui
nsteadofyoufindi
ngit
.It
s
writ
teninthest
arsthatI'
myoursandy ouare
mine
Me:
justdon'
tgody
ingonmel
i
ket
heguyf
rom
f
aul
tinourst
ars
Helaughsandsqueezesmegentl
y.Howisi
t
t
hatwehav efor
gott
enthatwehaveki
ds?If
eel
l
ikeateenagegi
rl
,Idon'
twantt
hismomentto
end
Hi
m: t
her
earenofault
sinourstar
smyangel .
DoyouknowwhatIfeell
i
kedoingrightnow?
Me:
goi
nghomet
oourki
ds?
Him:event
uall
yyesbutri
ghtnowIwantto
makeslowpassionatel
ovetoyouWi
ththe
hopeofimpregnat
ingyouagai
n
Mycheeksheatupasmycooki
ejart
ingl
es.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumyangel
Me:
Ilov
eyouev
enmor
eHadebewam

TheEnd