Ron:

Tor
ment
ed

I
NTRODUCTI
ON
Am notni ceorki ndt oany onebecausei think
themomenty ouar eki ndt opeopl et heyseey ou
asv ulnerableandt akeadv ant ageofy our
kindness.Idonotcar ewhatpeopl esayabout
mebecauset heirconcer nsar eir
relevantt o
me. Idontbi li
ev einf all
ingi nl ovebecausei
thinklovei saweaknessandt heref
or ewhat ever
idoi avoidt hisweakness. I'veGatnof rends
eitherboy sorgi r
ls.Myonl yf ri
endi smymom
whoi snol ongert heret heref oremeani ngno
frendsf orme. Istaywi thmyDadbuthi sal way s
busyei therwi thhi swi feDebr aor
business.Debr aismyst ep-mot herandweal so
staywi thhersonCr aigwhoi s3y earsol der
thanmesi nceam 21i tmeanshei s24. Am not
af anofDebr abecausei thinkshei st heone
whooust edmef rom Dad' sl i
feandshei s
alway st r
yingtoplaymot heronmel i
keshe
wannar eplacemymom. Am abi tclosetoCrai
g
andweal waystalkaboutrandom st uf
f.
Istudy
medi cineandam onmyf ourt
hy earbecausei
wentt ov arsit
ywheni was18duet oskippi
nga
classwheni wassti
llatpri
maryschool .Li
na
Thandi waVanGeor geismynameandam a
mi xedr aceofawhi teDad+bl ackmom. Asfor
ther estwi l
lgetrevi
ewedast hest oryunfol
ds.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t1

Di
stur
bedf
rom myt
hought
s
Deby:
Leey
ouhav
en'
ttouchedy
ourf
ood,
i
sit
bad?
Me:
No(
isayi
nanannoy
edv
oice)
Deby
:Thenpl
easeeatbef
orei
tget
s
col
d
Me: [
istoodup]Nextt
imewehav
edi
nnerst
ayi
n
yourplatesbusi
ness

Theni wentt
omyr oom,Lord!t
hatwoman.Ihad
alr
eadylostmyappetit
e,Il
ockedmysel
finmy
room.Aft
erawhil
ei heardaknock,
itwasDad
Dad:
Sweet
iepl
easecomeeat
Me:
Am nothungr
y
Dad:
Okcany
oupl
easeunl
ockt
hedoor
Me: Noicantiwannasl
eep,
someofusgat
schoolt
omor r
ow
Dad:
Lina!
!!
!
Me:Dadpl
easeiwannasl
eepgoaway
,Am sur
e
Debbyi
swait
ing
Dad:
Linai
'
m..
..
..
..
..
fi
neGoodni
ghti
lov
eu
Ikeptqui
tet
henandwai
tedaf ewsecondsunt
il
iwassurehewasgone.
Isatupri
ghton
mybedwi thtear
sthreateningmyey es.Ifought
wit
ht hem wi t
halli
hadasi decidedupon
watchingamov i
eonmyl apt op.
Iwatchedsome
mov i
ef oraboutanhourand30mi nutesbutsti
ll
couldnoter aseanyt
hing,ididntwanttocr ybe
causeitsweaknessi neverletgett hebet t
erof
me.Istoodandwentt othebathr oom, splashed
myf acewi t
hwat er.Aft
erthatiwor emyPj '
s
thensleptonlyt obewokenupbyal arm at
6a.m.Iwonderhowt i
mef l
ewt hatf ast.Itooka
shower ,woremycl othesandwentt oschool
earl
yhencei di
dn' twannaf acet hesupercoupl e
ofthehouse. Iwentt omycaranddr ov eout.On
myf ir
starri
vali wentt othecaf eteriatogr aba
bit
e.Isettl
edonanempt ytabl
e.Isear chedf or
myt ableti
nmyhandbagwhenav oice
i
nterruptedme' Lina' myey esfollowedt hev oi
ce
andohhLor dofI sraelhavemer cyonme. I
wishedt hetablest oswal l
owmet hat
moment
..
suchpai
n
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t2
.
.
.
Ifeltl
ikediggingmy selfaholeandjustbur y
ing
my selfIn,
myski nshrunkathissight.Don' tget
mewr ongIdon' thateanyoneIjustdisli
ke
them..that'
sall.Ll
oydwast hemostbel i
ev edto
bet hehot t
esthunki nvarsi
tybuthejust
annoy edmet othecoreandt omaket hings
wor sehisheenhi tt
ingonmesi nceor ientati
on
i
nmyf i
rstyear.

Hi
m:Li
na.
.
Me:
yeah?
Hi
m:mi
ndmeseat
ing?

No!
whatdoy
out
hink.
.ofcause!

Me:
yes,
Ido.
Hi
m:comeonsweet
cheeks.
.
Me:
noLl
oydmov
e!!
Hi
m:OKf
inehowhav
eyoubeen?

Iwasseriouslyget
ti
ngannoyedandJesuesH
Chri
stheknewi t!
buthedi
dn't
budge..
couldn'
tgetthemessagethatheai
n'
t
wanted?

Me:Iwi
llbef
inet
hesooneryoumov
eyour
annoyi
ngassout
tamyway .
.
Hi
m:noneedt
ober
udeBabes
Me:goseaty
ourflatasssomewher
ebefor
eyou
bor
emeandt rustmey oudon'
twantt
odothat
..
Hi
m:canwehav
eadecentconv
ersat
ion?
me:decentconver
sat
ionmyass!
gogeti
t
somewher eel
se!
Hi
m:okkyf
ineIwi
l
lgoIst
il
lhear
tyou.
..
Me:
thef
eel
i
ngi
smut
ual
..
Ial
sohear
tmy
sel
f.
.
Hi
m:OKcool
seey
ouar
ound.
.

Wi t
hthathest rodeaway ,andIwasgl ad..Ifi
nal
ly
couldbr eath.Ifitsnothomei ssuesitsschool
i
ssues...Imaycomeofasr udebutitsjustt hat
peoplel i
ket akingadv ant
ageofkindness.My
ordercameshor t
lyandIateinpeace.aftermy
meal Ijustwant edtogot otheli
brary,
ther ewas
sti
llenought i
mebef oremylessonSt art
's.I
walkedoutonl yt omeetCr ai
gbyt hedoor ,
my
stepbrot her..
Hi
m:sot
hisi
swher
eyouar
ehi
dinghuh?
Me:coul
dn'
tst
andt
hesi
ghtofy
ourmom
pr
esence
Hi
m:Iunder
standbutDadwasl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou
Me:heknowswer
etof
indmef
ort
unat
elyf
or
hi
m. .
Hi
m:Iguess.
.wannachi
l
l?
Me:
nahgat
tagett
othel
i
brar
yyoudug?
Hegavemet heIknowwhaty oudoi
nglookand
i
tdidn'
tbotherme,IsupposemeandCr ai
gain'
t
r
eall
y..
.orl
et'
ssayweki ndagetal
ong..
and
f
unnyhedoesntt akeof f
encetot
hefactt
hat
meandhi smom don' tgetal
ongandnotthatI
wouldhavecaredany way..

Hi
m:okkseey
ouar
oundt
henThandi
ee
Me:
cool
Aft
erthatli
ttl
etal
kIwentmyway ,
didn'
texactl
y
gotheli
brarybutjustsatinmycar
cont
ampl at
ingonmynextmov e...
may bejust
maybeIneedt ogot othespa. .
itwon'tbeabad
i
deaafteralli
tsonlygoodt oloosenupmuscl es,
i
tsbeenlongt i
mesi nceIjustrelaxed.Ij
ustsat
i
nmycarupunt il
15mi nleftformyl esson..
Iwal
kedtomycl assandIdon'
tknowifi
twas
meorhim butal
l Iknowi
sIwasbeyond
mad..
hejustspl
i
tmynewamani j
acketwi
th
cof
fee.
..
wtf??

Me:
Goodamnwhatt
heheck?
Doy
ouknowhowmucht
hisf
li
ppi
ngcostme?
Isai
dasIt
ooki
tof
f

Him:Idon'
tgiv
eadamnonhowmuchi tcost
,al
l
Icar
eaboutismycof f
ee.
.coul
dn'
tyouwatch
werey ouwheregoi
ngatl
east?
Ni
ggamustbeki
ddingme!Il
ookedupandhi
s
l
ooksdi
dn'
tev
enhitaner
ve..
.
Me:whodoyouthi
nky ouare?Bil
lGates?Iwas
l
ookingwher
eIwasgoi ngbutyouwer e
f
ocussedonyourphone..
.gogeteducated!
Him:somest i
nki
ngatt
itudef
orahott
iel
i
ke
you..
.getthefuckoutt
amyf acebef
oreyoust
art
disgusti
nglikearot
tenegg..
Me:theonlyr
ott
enthi
nghereisyou,
andbyt he
wayy outheoneonmyway. .
.gogetat
tenti
on
fr
om mommycausecl ear
lyyouain'
tgett
ingit
here
Him:
whosechi l
dareyou?youdon'tknowme
andIwil
lfuckensmokey oubythatatti
tudeof
your
sandnoonewi ll
ev erfi
ndyourdead
body,
doyougetme? (
hehi ssed)

OK,
Iwasscar
ednow,
myi
ntest
inest
wist
edt
hat
If
eltl
i
kev
omi
ti
ngt
hem
Me:
gothrowyouridi
oti
cthreat
sout
tat
he
wi
ndow,
theyaresooexpir
ed..

Isaidwalki
ngaway ,
Iwassooscar edandwi t
h
howhi seyesreflect
edcol dnessGodonly
knowshewasser i
ous..
hedi dn'
tl
ookli
kea
studenttome...mymor ningwassor ui
ned,f
ir
st
Lloydnowt hi
s!IkeptlookingbackincaseIwas
foll
owed..
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t3
.
.
.
Iwontl i
ei spentthewhol edayov ertheedge,i
wasscar edandangr yatthesamet ime.
Who
didhet hi
nkhewasany way ?
Iwasnowsi tt
ingin
myr oom doi ngwel l
nothingtobeexactbutj ust
l
yingonmybedasmyr uineddaypl ayedback
andf or
thint hebackofmyhead. Iwasst atl
ed
bymydooropeni ng,
reasonswhyi alwaysl
ock
mydoor .
Nooneev erhast hedesencet o
knock.Iwasal readyboil
ingbutsooncal med
downwhenCr aigcamei nandjustsatbesi des
me.
Hi
m:r
oughday
??
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t!
!
Hi
m:whathappend?
Me:
i
tsal
ongst
ory
..
..
Hi
m:cuti
tshor
tthen.
Me:ok..
mydayj ustst
artedwithLl
oydal
lover
myf ace.
.t
hinki
ngwellthatsal
lmorni
ngrui
ned
someguyt henspitwhateverhewasdri
nki
ngall
overmyfavouratej
acketandt
ell
smehewi l
l
smokeme. .
li
keseri
ouslyhewasexpect
ingme
toapol
ogise.
.canyoubeli
evei
t?
Hi
m:t
hat
swhyy
oudi
dnteatt
oday
?
Me:
ij
usthappendt
ohav
elostmyappei
te.
.
Him:wow!!
thi
sisthefi
rstt
imesomeonej
ust
upsetsy
ouov ert
hisedge.
..
..
Final
l
y!!
!
Me:
Final
l
ywhat
?
Hi
mm: y
oufi
nal
l
ymetsomeoneyourl
evel
..
.l
ol
wow.
.al
lal
ongit
houghty
ouwer
ethemeaniest
!
Me:
what
?
Him:l
i
keallal
ongy outheonet
hatmakes
peopl
elosetheirappet
it
ebutt
odayi
tsyou.
.t
hs
guymustber udeandmeanAF!
Me:
het
hinksheownshewor
ld.
..
hi
m:butify
ouj ustapol
ogisedLi
nat
heni
twoul
d
nothav
egot t
ent hatf
ar.
.
Me:
whosesi
dear
eyouonagai
n?i
justt
oldy
ou
hest
heonewhospitonmebecausehewas
toof
ocussedonhi
sphone!
Him:am onyoursideasal ways'al
lam sayingi
s
sometimeswehav etoapologiseevenifweare
theri
ghtones..
.y
ouj ustsaysorryevenifyou
dontmeanit..
.
Me:i
onlyapologiset
opeoplewhodeser
vemy
apol
ogy.
.it
seigthery
oudeserv
eitoryou
dont
..
nothingmornothi
ngless
Him:okkt
henLina.
..
butonaser
iousnot
ei
shouldmeett
hisguy.
.
me:
lol
ithi
nky
ouhav
enowov
erst
ayedy
our
wel
come
Him:
ihear
dhotni
ggasar
etheonesr
ude,
i
she
goodl
oooking
Me:idi
dnttakenoteonhisappearancebuthe
ai
ntthatbadonlyhisst
inki
ngatti
tudethat
needstobef i
xed
Hi
m:okkmay
bewecancat
chamov
ie
t
ommor
ow.
.j
ustt
ounwi
nd
Me:
nahi
hav
e..
..
.
Him:am nott
akingnof
orananswersosave
yourbr
eath..
tommorow1900hr
sbeready!
!
Me:
buti
nev
ersai
diwasgoi
ng

wel lthatfellondum ear sbecausehewas

alreadygone. Ishi
f t
edmyposi t
ionsandgoti n
mybl anketsandt ri
edget t
ingsomesl eep..buti
wassosl eepless.Ihatet akingsl eepingpi l
lsbut
todayseemsl ikei di
dnthav eachoi ce..
itook2
plusi knewt ommor owam noti nahur r
yt o
wakeupbacausemyf irstlessonst art
sat
1300hr splusbyt het imei dowakeupev eryone
woul dhav ebeengone. Iwant edtor entaf l
at
butdadr efused..icanbeev erythingbutnot
disobi di
entt omyf ather.Iknowwenotongood
termsbuti sti
llr
especthi m.Af t
erawhi l
ei
startedf eeli
ngdr owsyandbef orei knewi tihad
dosedi t.
Iwasawokenbybr ightlightinmy
room t hatmadei thardf ormet oopenmy
eyes...afterast rugglei openedt hem andt ook
myphonej usttocheckt het ime..itwas
0956hr s.Ihadr eall
yov erslept,l
azlyi draggedmy
feettot heki t
chenandmademy sel fsome
i
nst antpor ri
ege.Somydaywasl iket his1130-
1200hr swasmyt herapysessi ons, ihada
breakdown4y earsbackt hati couldntkeepon
soi hadt oseeat herapist .
Hernamei sAngel ,a
l
at ethirtywomanandshessoo
under standi ng.1300hrs- 1500hr sal essonand
1930mov ie.
Notbadi thoughtasi placedmy
plateint hesinkandheadedt omyr oom f ora
coldshower .withi
n30mi nsi wasdoneand
drov etot hehospi t
alformyt herapysessi on.I
knockedonherdoorwheni gott oher
depar tment .
..
iwasdi rectedt ocomei nbya
voiceandsoi gotin..
shewassi ttingswi f
tlyon
thecouch.
Her
:Hey
yLi
na
me:
hey
Her
:dontj
ustst
andt
her
ecomei
n.

i
goti
nandsatbesi
desher
..
Her
:howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
oki
guess.
.
Her
:youguess.
.t
ell
memor
e
Me:well
fortheordi
naryandusuali
twasdad
andhiswifethi
sotherday.
..
andsomestupi
d
guyandLloyd
Her
:tel
lmeaboutt
hisst
upi
dguy
..
whatdi
dhe
do?
Me:hespl
i
tonme,
cany
oubel
i
evei
tthensay
s
am atf
aul
t..
Her
:souguy
sar
gued?
Me:
sor
tof
..
Her:
youhol
dtomuchangerlina.
..somet
imesin
l
if
ewehav etol
etgobecauseliv
inginanger
j
ustmakesyouli
veamiserableli
fe
Me:howcani notbeangry..
.Goddamni ti
am
angry.
Am angryatPhi
li
p..
thatsickasshol
e,am
angrywit
hDadwhosenev ertherewheni need
hi
mt hemostandam angr ywi t
hmy sel
fonhow
il
etthi
speoplebreakme...
Her:
maybeyouneedtolookatthingsf
rom your
dadsper
sepct
ive.
.may
bey outwoneedt ojust
si
tdownandtalk,
hewontknowi fyoudonttel
l
hi
m
Me:no.
.hedoesntknowbecausehedoesnt
car
e,ai
ntaparentsupposedt
oknowwhen
somethingi
swr ongwit
hthei
rchi
ld?
Her:
yestheydo,
buttheywontknowifthechi
l
d
keeepshutt
ingt
hem down..
may beyouneedto
meetyourdadhalf
waysoy ourebond
Me:
..
..
.
Her:
youwannabeangr yigetit
..
.youhaveever
y
ri
ghttobebuty
ouar eholdi
ngy ourownlif
e
back.y
ouneedtoletgoofthisangersoyou
mov eon.
Letmetellyouastory.
.iwassexual
ly
abusedwheni wasy oungbymyuncl e..
..
andfor
soomanyy earsiwasangr y,
angywit
ht he
wor l
d,angrywi t
hmypar r
entswhodiedand
angrywi thGodbutunt i
lil
earnedhowi was
holdi
ngmyl i
febackwhi l
eotherpeoplesli
ves
continuedi letgo,
itwashardbuti di
di t
..
andnot
forany onebutf orme...
..
.
phili
pmi ghthavehur
tyousoobadt hatyou
want edtokil
lyour
sel
f..
butwhereishenow? hes
probablyenjoyi
ngwhereverheiswhil
eyouar e
depressed.Letgoofthepastandfocussont he
future.
.

Iwontl i
ei wasattheedgeofbr eaki
ngdown
buti wsntgonnalettear
swi n..
am notthat
weak. Phil
i
pdidhurtmeal l
hewant edwasto
getinmybedandaf tert
hatt ossesmel i
kea
usedcondom. .hebrokeme,i evenwantedtoki
l
l
my self.
Her
:youknowst
rongpeopl
edocr
y
someti
mes...
it
snotwr ongtocrythat
showy ou
l
wtyoursel
fgrievetoeasethepainyouar
e
hol
dingonto..
youareahumanandy ouare
ent
it
ledtocryitsnotyourf
ault
..
Me:butidontwannacry
..
.inev
erwannacr
y..
(i
sai
dwi t
haf ai
ntvoi
ce)

myey esweremi stwithtears,it

ight l
yshutmy
eyes,
Whatar eyoudoi ngLinacry ing?thatsnot
you..
stopit
!youdontcr yLinaVangoer ge
doesntcry.
..
Whatdoesntki l
lyoumakesy ou
str
onger..
aheartbreakwontki l
lmebutmakes
mest r
ongerandt heresnowayam goi ngto
sati
sfyanyonebycr yi
ng..Noway s!!
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed
#i
nser
t4
.
.
.
Depr essedi wasf ort hewhol eday,buti didnt
showanyt raceofi t.
Mydaywentaspl anned
butdi dntgof orthespabecauset obehonesti
wasntf eeli
ngi tanymor e.Ihadt hi
sangeri nme
andi tdidntbot hermebecausei hadev er yri
ght
tobe. therewast hishat ebul dinginsideofme
thati couldpossi blygi veawaysomeofi tto
Satanandst i
llbelef twithenought osuppor t
mef ort her estofmyl i
feandmysecondl if
e.I
knowhol dingont ot hepastwontpossi bl yhelp
mebuti feltihadev er yrighttobe. Iusedt obe
thefragi l
egi r
l,t
heki ndonewhousedt obr eak
easlybutt henwer edi dt hatev ergetme? only
l
eftmebr ockenandLor dknowsi wasntabout
tolett hathappenagai n.WhatPhi li
pputme
throughl eftmewi thoneat t
empt edsui cideand
sincei lear ntt haty oucannev eralway sbr eakat
anyt hi
ngt hewor l
dt hrowsaty ou,somet i
mes
youj ustneedt of ightbackandt rustmei wasnt
aboutt of orgiv ePhi l
ipf ordoi ngahi tandr unon
me. .NEVER! Af termyl essonsi drovest rai
ght
homeandi real i
sedt her ewasnoone. Thatwas
better..
i dontneedanybuzzbomerr i
ghtnow. I
wasntf eel i
ngt hemov iesany mor ebuti hadno
choi cebecauseknowi ngCr aighewoul dntjust
l
eti tgol iket hat ..
Itookaqui kshowerbef orei
sli
ppedi ntomyonear m cr opt opanda
dungal eewhi chi pinnedonesi de,acapand
fi
nishedi tof fwi thconv erse.Ilookedboy i
shbut
beaut i
ful,actual l
ybet t
ert hanmostpeopl ei
know. Iwentt ot heki t
chent ogetwat eronl yt
o
fi
ndDebr apr epar ingdi nner ,
shesmi ledwhen
shenot i
cedmypr esence.

Her
:ev
eni
ngLi
na.
.
i
keptmysi l
ence,
wast
ryi
ngtoavoi
dsome
f
ighti
ng.
..
hadabadday.
.di
dntwantany
thi
ngt
o
f
urtheri
tmoreup.

Her:
youknowitsaweektoy
ourf
ather
s
bi
rt
hday..
.iwasthi
nki
ngmay
beweshouldpl
an
asurpr
isepart
y..
Me:
asf
arasam concernedhesyourhusband
soy
oumightaswelldoital
one.
.
Her
:it
houghtmay
beasaf
ami
l
iy.
.
M:poi
ntofcor
rect
ionweai
ntf
ami
l
iynev
erbeen
andneverwi
ll
be..
.
Her:
iunder
standyoudontl
i
kemebuty
our
f
ather.
.t
hetr
uthishe.
..
..
Me:t
hetrut
hisyousi
ckenmeandthis
conv
ersati
oni
sgett
ingbori
nganddul
lplease
l
etsmantaint
hepeace.
canwedothat?
Her
:am onl
ytr
yingt
o..
.
Me:andnooneaskedyout
otr
ysoj ustbuzzof
f
ok?
? st
opbei
ngannoyi
ngandi
rri
tat
ing..

shekeptquietasshesi ghedheav l
y'
igotmy
waterandwalkedoutl eav i
nghert here.
Isat
i
nfrontotheTVandj ustwat chedRegular
show...
Crai
gwassur el
yt aki
nghi spreci
ous
ti
mebecausei twasal readyquat erpastseven
andniggahadn'tshownupy et.
  .Ij ust
satther
eandaf tersomef ewheemer ged.

Hi
m:gi
vememi
nut
e..

Hesai dasherushedtohisr
oom.Iwai
tedand
trustmehesur el
ytookhi
sti
methatIeven
thoughtwewer enotgoi
nganymore.
Hecame
backallchanged.

Me:
Iwasst
art
ingt
othi
nkwewer
enotgoi
ng
any
mor
e..
.
Him:what
?never
!!
themov
iewi
l
lst
arti
n20we
bett
erbounce!

Wewal kedoutt ohischer v

oloteconv ette206
2016.Wedr ovet otheci nema,pur chasedpop
cornandgoti ntowat cht hemov ie.
Itwasan
acti
onmov i
eandal sof unny .
Afteraboutt hatwe
walkedbackt othecarbutsoonexcused
himselfbecauseofaphonecal l.Iwaitedforhim
asIjustadmi r
edt hecarbesi desCr aig's."
Nice
huh?"Av oi
cesai dwhi chmademet urn.I
twas
thecoffeedudeandwel lhelookedgoodbuti t
didn'
tevenaffectme. Iwasn' taboutt ogetall
personalwit
hhi m,don'thav etimet owast e.

Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:f
unnyhowIr
emembery
ou.
.
Me:
itwoul
dhav
ebeenmuchni
ceri
fIdi
dn'
t
Hi
m:y
ouhav
eissuesIsee
Me:
theonl
yissueIhav
eisy
ou.
.

Befor
ehecoul
dpossi
blyanswersomeguy
came..
.

Guy:ToomuchBr adcan'tbeli
evethetypashitI
j
ustheardyoudid..twastoomuchbr uhpoor
thi
ngmustbedev astat
edlol.
..
.whooeee!
!hol
d
upwhosethishott i
ehere?Jesusholyme!she'
s
whit
e...

Guy
:heybabeEr
ici
smynamessup?
Me:
non.
..
Er
ic:
Bradwhoseshe?
Hesai
dwhi
sper
ingoratl
eastt
ryi
ngt
o..
Brad:nooneimportant
,justsomeonewithan
atti
tudeofIthi
nkimadei tinli
febutact
ual
ly
theyareatthei
rlowest.
..
Me:ohhpleaset
hatsent
encei
soverusedtry
somenewshadeandst opbei
ngsl
ow...
.i
ts
unatt
ract
ive
Er
ic:
Ismel
lbeef
..
goshi
tsget
ti
nghother
e..
.

Welookedathim.Heseemedr at herf
orwar
dto
me,t
hat'
swhenIrealizedam justwast i
ngmy
br
eathwitht
hispeople.Igoti
nt hecarand
wai
tedforCrai
g.Ifoundmy selflaughi
ngatthat
Er
icguy.
Iguesstheywer efri
ends.Soonenough
Cr
aigcameback...

Hi
m:okkwecannowr
oll
backhomebyt
heway
wasthatBr
ad?
Me:
excuseme?
Hi
m;t
heguyy
ouwer
ewi
th.
..
.
Me:
yeah.
..
Hi
m:ok
Me:
whyask?
Him:wellwit
hhimrunni
nghisf
ather
sbusiness
am obviousl
ygonnaask,
event
houghIusuall
y
seehim atsomeparti
esbutwehavenever
exchangedmorethantwowords

Hemustbel oadednowonderhehast hatsor

t
ofatt
it
ude.
..
.Buthewast heleastofmywor ri
es
atthemoment .
..
hadbet
terthingstodealwith

.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Ihadj ustgotof fthecal lwithbaeandt hings
wer enotl ookingt hatgood. .
.shewasaccusi ng
met obegi vingLi namor etimet hanher .That
wasr i
dicul ousi fy ouaskme, Linaismysi ster
wel lmay benotbi ologicalbutst i
ll
..
.Iunder stand
wer eshescomi ngf rom that'swhyIdon' t
despi t
eherf orherhat etowar dsmymom. She's
beent hr oughal otandal lam t ry
ingtodoi sbe
theref orherandsowhatNat al
ieissuggest i
ng
i
st otallyabsur d.Ihear dherear li
erconv er sation
wi t
hmymom. .Idon' tknowwhymom keepson
tryi
ngi fsheknowsLi nadoesn' tentertainherat
all.
Idrov eusbackhomeandwhenwear rivedI
noticedshehadf all
enasl eep.Shewasn' ther
usual sel ftodayandIcoul dpossi blyseebyt he
frownonherf ace. Iparkedandcar ri
edhert o
herr oom, tuckedheri nandj ustlookedather .
Nol ieshewasbeaut i
fulmor ethanany thingI
hav eev erseen.Af tersomeobser v
ationper iodI
drov etoNat alie'scr i
b...
shewasn' texpect ing
me. .
shej ustst oodt hereinshockasImade
my
sel
fcomf
ort
abl
e..

Her
:Iwasn'
texpect
ingy
ouespeci
all
yatt
his
t
ime..
.
Me:well
am her
enow,ai
n'
tI?
let
'suset
his
pr
eciousti
mewisel
y

Isai
dmaki
ngwaytoher,t
ookofhergownand
shewasl
eftwi
thnot
hing.
.shewasnaked.
.

Me:
whyar
eyounaked?
Her
:am f
rom bat
hing

Isni
ff
edherandshesmel
tfr
eshsoIguessshe
wasbathi
ng

Me:
i
tsact
ual
l
ynotabadt
hingt
haty
ouar
e..
Isai
dgrabbi
ngherbuttanddevour
inghersoft
l
ipsasamour nescapedfr
om herl
ips.
.whata
waytostar
tanight!
!
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t5
.
.
.
Wakinginmyr oom whenthelastthi
ngi
rememberisgetti
nginthecardidntseem t
o
surpr
iseme,am sur
eCraigplacedmei nbed.
i
rol
ledfr
om mybedandmademywayt othe
bathr
oom andmyneckhur tabi t
.Musthave
sleptwr ongl y...
.Itookashower ,
tookmyt ime
j
ustset ti
ngmymi ndf ree,nott hi
nki ngabout
anythingandf ocussi ngont hecol dwat er
hitt
ingagai nstmyski n. Aftersomet imei
switchedof ft het apeandcov eredmywetbody
withat owel asi walkedbackt ot her oom. Isaw
myphoneont hef loort henpi ckedandt hetime
almosthadmehav ingahear tat tack.Itwas
0830hr smyl essonst artsat0900hr s.It
ooka
deepbr eatht ocal m my selfdownt hendr opped
thet owel andmywayt ot hecl oseti nahur r
y.I
tookl esst han10mi nt ofinishup. Iwasnt
l
ooki ngbadandsoqui klyrusheddownst air
s
andonl yfordadt ost opme
Hi
m:mor
ningLi
na.
.
Me:
mor
ningandby
e..
Hi
m:wai
t.
..
.cani
pleasehav
e5mi
nofy
ourt
ime?
?
Me:Dadam goi
ngtobel
atei
fist
ayi
nthi
s
houseoneminut
emore,
ihav
eatest
.
Hi
m:pl
easeLi
na.
..
ohhGod,
isi
ghedheav
lyandsatdownnextt
o
hi
m

Hi
m: y
ouknowi lov
eyour
ight,Youaremy
bl
ood,t
hepersonwhowil
ltakeov ermy
l
egacy..
THepersonwhowill
st i
l
lcarr
ymyname
evenwhenam dead..
.

i
keptqui
et,
honest
lyidi
dntknowwhatt
osay
.i
j
ustl
ookedathim.
..

Him:iknowwedontgetal
ongl
ikeweused
to,
wear enotevencl
oset
ohav
edecent
conversat
ion.
..
Me:
andwhosef
aul
tist
hat
?
Him:
Linailovedyourmotherandt
rustmei sti
l
l
do,
buticantkeepholdi
ngbackmyl i
fe.
.shes
notcomingbackandasmuchasi twashardt
o
admitthefactt hatshewasntevergoingt
o
comebacki reali
sedineededtomov eonwith
mylif
e..i
alsoneedsomehappi nessjustl
i
ke
ever
yoneel se..
Me:whataboutme? am nothappyok? am
not,
andit
squi etclearthatall al
ongyouhav e
beenputti
ngy ourhappi nessf ir
stf
ogetti
ngyou
haveadaught er,
ihaveamessedupl ifebutyou
aretoobusybei nghappy ,youdontcareandi
havelear
nttol i
vewi t
hit .
..
behappy ,
noonei s
stoppi
ngyoubutl etmet ellyousomet hi
ngi
wontbepar tofthatequat ion..
Hi
m:Li
naicar
eabouty
oumor
ethanany
thi
ngi
n
t
heworl
d
Me:y
ouract
ionsspeaklouder
...
Haveyouev er
wonder
edhowi f
eel?nobutonet hi
ngforsureis
youonl
ycar
eabouthowy oufeel
..
Hi
m:maybeweshoul
dgooutsomet
ime
t
oget
her
,andj
usthav
eabondi
ngsessi
on
i
lookedathi
m asmyt
ear
srandownmychi
cks.
.

Me:gooutsomewher e?
?youareseri
ousright
now? ?wow!!youdontgetitdoyou,
nothi
ngis
goingtomakemef eelbet
terandcert
ainl
ynot
somet ri
p..
..
Foral
l t
hoseyearsihavenotbeen
happyyoust andtheret
ell
ingmaabouta
tr
ip??I
fonlymom washer e
Him:shesnot!
thesooneryour
egi
stert
hati
n
yourthi
ckskullt
hebetter
!!

hesnapped,
hedoessnapbutthi
sti
meit
hurt
..
.t
ear
srandownmyfaceasi st
oodup.
I
coul
dseeregr
etfor
minginhi
seyes..

Hi
m:am sor
ryLi
na.
..
..
.
irushedoft omycarasi cried,idroveof fto
wer eididntknow. Ij
ustwentwer ether oadl ed
measi criedlouder ..
i wasbey ondbr ocken,for
allt
hosey earsi hel dmyt ear sbackt odayt hey
fi
nallymadet heirwayout .Todayi justr eali
zed
thatactuallynoonecar es..Idrov etoapoi nt
wer etheroadhadendedandgotof fthecar
andr an..
.r
anf atsert hanev erbutmyv iewwas
blurebecauseoft ear s,asi rani dontknowwhat
happenedbuti t
rippedandf ellhard.Myhead
hurtbadlyandi feltmy selff eellightand
l
ighter..
iwasatpeaceandbef orei knewi ti
blackedout ..
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLAZWELANI
.
.
.
Iwast akingadr iv ebackf om wor k,ti
redas
ever ,
i
fonl ymyDaddi dntfor cemet ot akeov er.
I
j
usthat edmyj obandt omakemat t
erswor se
Ericwasal lonmyf ace,Bradt hisBr adt hat..
Brad
wasn' tmyname, itwasani cknameandt o
!makei tmor eannoy inghewasonaboutt he
rudegi rl.
...
..
Inot icedsomecarpr intsont he
dustr oadt hatwasont hel ef tsideoft her oad
andi j
ustf oll
owedt hem, askmewhyandi wont
hav ear easonf ori t.
Idrov et ot heendandi
stoppedwheni sawsomecar .Mai nintet i
on
wast otakeau_ tur nbuti justgotbot heredbyi t
andgotof fmycarandwal kedt oit .
.il
ooked
throught hewi ndowsandt her ewasnoone, i
openedt hecarandsawaphone. i hesitatedfor
awhi ledeci dingagai nsti t
...
fort her easonbei ng
iwassnoopi ngar oundbutr el uctant l
yi tookit
andhor roralmosthadmet her e..
thescr een
sav erwast her udegi rl
..
.iwentt hroughi tto
conf i
rmi fitstrul yherphoneandy esit
was. Ther ewer esoomanymi ssedcallsfrom
Dadanddebr a...
.somet hingj ustt ol
dme
somet hi ngwasof f.
.whatwasshedoi nginthe
mi ddleofnowher e..
.iknowshesr udebuti was
reall
yconcer nedbutscol dedmy sel
fforbeing
concer ned.Igotint hef orrestadf ol
lowedher
tracksunt ilisawherl y
ingont heground
unconci ously..
.al
l mybl oodcamet omyf ace
thatIf eltl
ikedy i
ng.Irushedt oherandpi cked
herup. .sheclinchedi ndicatingshewasi npai n.
..
Me:
don'
twor
ryIwi
l
ltakey
out
othehospi
tal
.
.

Sheshookherheadindi
cat
ingno!
!nowIwas
conv
incedsomethi
ngwaswr ong.
..
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
.
Aft
erschoolIrushedhome. .
.Iwantedtowatch
amatchsoIhadt o.
Arri
vi
nghomear ound6I
fi
ndmom andDad. .
overtheyearsIhav el
earnt
tocal
lLi
na'sfatherdad.
Theywer esitt
eddown
andsomethingtoldsomet hi
ngwaswr ong.
..
Me:
eveni
ng.
.
Mom:
hel
l
omyboy
..
..Wher
eisLi
na.
.
Me:
Ihavntseenherev
ersi
ncey
est
erday
..
.
What
'swrong?
Dad:
wegotinafightint
hemorni
ngandIsai
d
somethi
ng'
sIshouldn'
thav
ethenshest
ormed
out
!!
Me:Jesus!!
cometot
hinkofi
tIdi
dn'
tseeherat
schooltoday.
..
Dad:
yeah.
.t
hat'
sbecauseshedi
dn'
tgo.
..
.Ical
l
ed
t
heschool.
..
Ipushedherver
ybad
Me:
wehav
etof
indher
..
.

Iwasnowsweat
ingandsomethi
ngtol
dme
somet
hingwaswrongwher
evershewas.
..
.

.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t6
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLAZWELANI
.
.
Iwaspaci ngupanddowni nfrustrati
on.Ican' t
affordforany thingtohappent oherespeci al
ly
i
nmyhouse, yesIdi dn'tt akehert othehospi tal
..
.
Ijusttookhert omyhousebutnowIwas
regrett
ingi t
..
10mor emi nutesmor eofherbei ng
unconsciousandam t akinghert ot hehospi t
al.
Herphonekeptr ingingunt ili
tev entuall
y
stoppedwhent hebat ter ywasexhaust ed.I
l
ookedathercl oselynodoubtshewas
beautifulandlookedsoi nnocentbutt hat'snot
whatIsawwhenshe' sawake. ..hershadeof
rudenessi sonanot herl ev elnol i
e.Idon' tknow
howabeaut i
fulgirll
ikehercanbesoor ude.
Shemov edabi tandt riedopeni ngher
eyes..t
hankGodshewaswaki ngup. .
assoonas
sheopenedherey esshockwaswr itt
enal lover
her..

Her
:you!
!!
Me:
yesme.
.
Her
:howdi
dyou.
..
wher
eam I
?
Me:
myhouse.
.
Her
:yourhouse?
Me:
not
hedog'
s.
Her
:howdi
dIgeti
nher
e?

Qui
ckl
yshegotof
fthebed.
.
Her
:wher
e'smycar
?
Me:outsi
de,
butIdon'
tthi
nki
tsagoodi
deay
ou
dr
iveinyourst
ate

Isai
daft
ershet
ouchedherheadandgr
oaned
i
npain.
.

Her
:Inev
eraskedf
ory
ouropi
nion.
.
Me:
lookbit
chi
fitwasn'
tformeyouwouldbe
l
ayi
nginthemi
ddleofnowheret
heleastyou
candoi
sshowsomeappr
eci
ati
on!
Me:
Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
hisam l
eav
ing.
.
Me:goodr iddancecan'tst
andyoursti
nki
ng
atti
tude..
.Iwonderifthat'
swhatyourpar
ents
teachy ou.
.

Shej ustlookedatmeIguesst hathi

taner ve
butshet ookhercarkey sf r
om thedressing
tableandspedaway .
..
Itooknumer oussi ghs
aftershel eft
..She'
ssooannoy i
ngandv eryrude
toaddt othat..Myphoner angandIr ushedto
i
t,i
twasEr ic.
.herei
sanot herirr
it
ati
oncal l
edmy
bestf r
iend..Iwonderwhyhe' ssoirr
itat
ing
somet imes. .

Me:
ssupmani
gga!
Him:
nonbruh.
..
it
sFr
idaywannacheckout
someli
tpl
aces??
Me:
yeahsur
ewhynot
..Ai
n'
tl
ikeIgatbet
tershi
t
t
odo.
..
Him:
OK..
..
comepi
ckmeupt
hen.
.hey
ydi
dyou
gett
hatgi
rl
snumber
?

Imademywaydownst air
sasIwasst i
l
ltalki
ng
tohim..
.i
twasal r
eady8i ntheeveningandt hat
momenti thitmev er
yhard...
wheredidshego
solateatnight
..
may beIshouldn'
thavelether
go..
buthowwasIsupposedt ost
opher .
.I
brushedsomet ypafeel
ingofguilt
yaway ..
Me:
whatgi
rlar
etal
ki
ngaboutnow.
..
?
Hi
m:t
heoneatt
hemov
iest
hehotone.
..

BeforeIcouldanswerfearshookMesoohar d
thatIdroppedmyphone. .
.shewaslayi
ngonmy
kit
chenf l
oornotagain.
..
myheartwasbeat i
ng
fastandmymi ndwasn'tf
uncti
oni
ng
well.
..
.qui
cklyIwalkeduptoherandcarri
edher
tomycar ..
Iwast aki
nghertothehospi
tal
now..
.Iwasbeyondscared..
.whati
fshe's
dead?whatam goingt
ot el
ltheworl
d...I
fonlyI
hadtakenhertothehospit
al i
nthefi
rstplace
nonofthiswouldhavethenhappened..
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Ican'tstartexplaini
nghowwor ri
edIwas. ..
Dad
hadsuf feredahear tattackandLinanotback
can'tstartwithmom whohav ebeencr yi
ngnon
stop..
.everyt
hingar oundmewasj usttakinga
wrongt urn..
wehadt akenhi mtothehospi t
al
andIwentbackhomel eav i
ngmom. .Ihadto
fi
ndLi nanomat terhowmuchi ttakesme. I
start
edbycal l
ingherther api
st.
..
.
Me:goodeveni
ngmam..
sorr
ytodist
urbyoubut
hasLinamadeanycont
actwit
hyoutoday?
Her
:No.
..
shedi
dn'
t.I
sev
ery
thi
ngal
ri
ght
..
Me:shejustwentmi
ssingbutpl
easei
fshe
contactyoupl
easei
nform me.
Her
:Iwi
l
ldot
hat
.
Me:
OKt
hanky
ouf
ory
ourt
ime.
.

Ihungupaf tert hat .

.nowwhot ocal l?
?she
doesn'thav ef ri
endsorany onecl osetohert hat
shecoul dhav epossi bl
ywentt o...maybeI
shouldtrackdownherphone. .
thankGodam
goodwi thel ectroni cs..
.It
ri
edbutseemsl ikeit
s
atsomehouse. ...
sof arhowdi dshegett here.
..
I
tookasi ghofr eliefifonlyIhadt houghtoft hat
muchsooner .Igoti nmycaranddr ove
ther
e..
.thisshoul dn'tbehar d.Ij
ustt el
lherhow
sorr
yherdadi st hencomebackwi t
hher .
.who
am Ifooling?Weal lknowshessoost ubborn..
Shewi l
lpr obabl ygi vemeahar dtime...Butif
she'
sOKt hent her e'snothi
ngt owor r
yabout .
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Myheadwashur ti
ngbadl yandIcoul df eel t
hat
myar m wassor e..
what '
sgoi ngon? Itri
ed
openingmyey esandaf teral ongstruggl eI
fi
nall
ydi d.
.Icouldtellitwast hehospi tal
...The
noiseandt hesmel lal
so. .
.Ilookedar oundandI
wasal oneini ttoo!
.Whathappenedt ome? what
am Iev endoi nghere?Thedoorcr ackedopen
andt hi
smancamei n...
hewasi nawhi tecoat
...
guessi t
st hedoct orandhewasf ollowedby
thi
shotguy .
..NoIwi llbelyingi fIsayhe' s
hot..
he'sbey ondhot ..
.onecan' tpossibly
misplacehi sgoodl ooksev eni fhewant ed
to.
.behindhim wasanot heroneandal sohe
wasgoodl
ooki
ng.
whoar
ethi
speopl
e?

Theonewhogoti
nlastwhi
sper
ed"
isshe
fi
ne"
?..
.

Thedoct
ort
henspoke.
.
Him:
Goodev
eni
ngMam.
.am DrDr
eey
our
doct
or.
.
Me:
whatam Idoi
ngher
e?whathappened?
Him:youseem t
osuff
ersomeheadi
njur
ies
causedbyyoufall
i
ng.
.
Me:
whatar
etal
ki
ngabout
?whoar
ethi
speopl
e?
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tknowt
hispeopl
e?
Me:
nev
ersawt
hem.
.

Thehot
testguypl
acedhi
sheadinhi
shands..
..
Andmumbl ed"nopl
easeno"
..
whatexact
lyi
s
goi
ngonher
e..
Me:
docwhat
'sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:i
tlooksli
key ouhav
ememor
yloss.
.OKt
ell
mewhat'syourname?
Me:
Linamynamei
sLi
na.
.
Hi
m:wher
eisy
ourf
atherand!
mot
her
?
Me:
myf
atheri
sathomeandmymom passed.
.
Hi
m:doy
ouhav
eabr
other
?
Me:
no.
.
Hi
m!:
nost
epmom?
.
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:OK.
.don'
twor
ryy
ouwi
l
lbef
ine.
..

Iwasconfused.
.Wheream i?what
'sgoi
ngon
wit
hme? Thehotguysjustst
aredatmein
shock!
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t7
.
.
.

SPHAMANDLA
.
.
Nowor dcouldpossi
blyexpl
ainwhatwasgoing
onmymi ndthatmoment ,
Ididntevenknow
whattodo..
Istoodoutsi
dewi t
hEr i
casthe
doct
orexami nedher
.Tomakemat ter
sworse
shedidn'
tevenrememberherpl aceof
r
esi
dent
s.
Eri
c:
Isuggestyoutakeherwithyoutoyour
houseandkeepheruntilshe
remembers.
..
probablyt
hereisareasonwhyshe
wasinthemiddleofnowhere...
..
Me:Youdon'tunder st
anddoy ou,l
ookdawgI
don'tknowshitaboutthisgir
lexpectthef act
thatshe'sr
udeasf uckandsecondIdon' tcare
aboutherandam notconcer ned..
.Itoldhernot
togoshedi dntli
stenandwhat '
shappeni ng
ri
ghtnowi sallherfaul
t.
..God!!
thi
sungr ateful
bit
ch..nowam stuckwi t
hher..
Eri
c:y
ouaresmitten.
..
..l
ookyoubroughther
hereandyouneedt olookaf
terhernooffense
bruhbutshesyourresponsi
bil
i
tyri
ghtnow...
Me:
andtrustmeIhateever
ymomentofit
..
.I
f
eell
ikedumpingherher
e..
.byt
hewaywhere
t
hefuckisherfami
li
y??
Er
ic:
didy
out
ryherphone?
Me:
i
thasaf
uckenpasswor
d..
.
Er
ic:
ther
eai
n'
tnobet
tershi
tthant
his.
..
Me:am goingtohir
esomeonetohelpher
remembersoshecangett hehel
loutofmyhai
r
assoonaspossi bl
e..
..
butt
heper
sonisnoti
n
thecountr
y .
..
Eri
c:
soyouwannatakehersomewher
eshe
doesn'
tknow.
.mani
ggabadidea!
Me:
sowhatshoul
dIdo?
Him:
Iknowsomeonebutshesonl
youtofci
ty
buty
ougonnahavetost
aywithhert
her
e..
.
Me:
Jesushol
yChri
st!
didshehav
etol
oseher
memory?
Outofal
lthi
ngsoneart
h!

Isatonabenchnearby..
.Iwassofrustr
ated.
.
HowdoIt akesomeoneIdon'tknowoutof
ci
ty?t
hisi
skidnappi
nginotherwords.
..
Ican't
evenstar
ttothi
nkaboutwhatshewi l
ldowhen
shecomesbackt ohersenses.
..
Myheadwas
soexhaust edf
rom al
ltheoverthi
nking.
..Buton
theotherhandIfel
tsorryforherbutasmal l
poti
onofmyhear tsaidshedeservedit..
..
but
thenagainnoonedeser vestohaveamnesi a.
.
SoIwi l
ltakehert
owher eEr
ichadsaidthen
stayfor2weeksonl y
..
.Ibetshewil
latleast
rememberwher eshest ays.
.

Thedoct
orcameoutaf
terawhi
l
e..
.
Him:well
shehasAmnesia.
..
it
'sgoi
ngtotakea
shor
ttimet or
ememberbutattheendshewil
l
..
.i
tsonlytempor
ary
..
Me:
Cany
oudi
schar
gehert
ommor
owmor
ning?
Him:
ofcausepl
usIseenor
easonf
orkeepi
ng
heri
n
me:
Iwil
lcomef orhert
ommorowearl
y
mor
ning.
.Ihavesomeonewhowil
lhel
pher
r
emember .
.It
sworthatry
..
Hi
m:soar
eyouherhusband?
Me.
.N.
..
..
Er
ic:
yes!
!y
eshei
s..
Me:
wtf
??
Er
ic:
Doct
hanky
ouabunch
Hi
m:i
tsmyj
ob.
.OKseey
out
omor
rowt
hen
Er
ic:
tomor
rowi
tis.
.

Aft
ert
hedoct
orwasoutofsi
ghtEr
icshookme
ver
yhard.
.

Hi
m:whatt
heheck?i
fyousayy
ouar
enott
hen
t
heywon'
tlety
outakeher
..
.
Me:
thatwoul
dhav
ebeenagoodt
hing.
..
Hi
m:comeon!
!Don'
tbehear
tl
ess!
Me:
am notbei
nghear
tl
ess.
..
Er
ic:
Mann.
..
.r
eal
l
y!
Wewal kedbacktot heroom andshewasj ust
stai
ri
ngatt hecei
li
ng..
.Shelookedlost
,so
i
nnocent..Therewasast or
ybehindthatprett
y
faceandIjustfel
tli
keIwantedtoknow. .
.

Er
ic:
sohowar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Her:
Idon'tknow..
.HowcomeIlostmymemory
anddon'tevenrememberany
oneexceptmy
par
ents.
..howdoy ouguy
sknowme?
Me:
yourst
inki
ngat
ti
tude

Imumbl
edandEr
icpi
nchedme.
..

Me:
what?
?it
sthet
rut
h..
.y
ouar
esoor
udeand
t
hat
'showwemet..
Her
:excuseme?
Me:
yes!
Godishoul
dhavel
eftyouther
eand
t
odayIwoul
dn'
tbefaci
ngal
lthi
s..
Her
:whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
..
Er
ic:
nothi
nghe'
sjustf
ool
i
ngar
ounddon'
twor
ry
wewill
helpyour
ememberOK.
.
Me:
we?youandwho?
am t
heonewhosest
uck
wi
thhernoty
ou.
.
Eri
c:
wil
lj
ustshutup?ifyouhav
enot
hingbet
ter
tosaygowaitout
side..
.

Ij
ustcli
ckedmytongueandlookedasi
de.
.She
j
ustir
ri
tatedmebyjustl
ooki
ngather..
What
haveIdonetodeser
vethi
sGod..
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Iwait
edandwait
eduntilIknewexact
lynow
thatt
heownerofthehousewasnotcomi ng.
.I
hadcal l
edmymom andshehadseenDad. .
he
wasdoi ngbettershehadaddedIguessnot
worrymet hatmuch.Shewentasf arasasking
i
fIhadf oundLi naandIj ustdepr essedher
!mor ewiththest r
essingt rut
h...
Ihadaf eeli
ng
somet hi
ngwaswr ongwi t
hLi naandi couldmt
shakeof ft
hatfeeling.
.Idrov ebackhomewi th
mixedemot ions..Whati fsomet hi ngbad
happenedt oher ?Icouldn'thelpi tbutletmy
mindr unwild.
Iwast otallylosingi t.WhenIgot
homeIf oundmom st i
llawake. .
itwassol ate
thatsheshouldntbeawaket hist ime..
Me:
mom.
..
pleasewhyar
eyounotasl
eep?
Her:
Ijustcoul
dn't
..
.Didyoufi
ndanythi
ng?Am
sowor r
iedabouther..
hermom mustbesurel
y
tur
ninginhergraveandashardasitistoadmit
i
tbutitsallmyfault
..Ther
easonshefought
wit
hherf at
herisbecauseofme...

Shedr
oppedhert
ear
s..
..
tobehonestmy
momst
ear
swer
emybi
ggestweakness.
.

Me:
mom pl
easedon'
tcr
y..

Isai
dasIbur
ri
edheri
nmyar
ms.
.

Her
:Ican'
thelpit..
.assoonaswef i
ndheram
l
eavi
ng..
Ijustcan'
tbarewat chi
ngherunhappy
i
nherownf athershouse..

Iremainedsi
l
ent..
.Asshej ustpouredouther
heart
..
mymom i sastrongwoman, hercryi
ng
meansshe'strul
yhurt
..Ihadt ofi
ndLinaas
soonaspossiblebef
oreIl osetheonlyQueen
wholov esmeuncondit
ionallytodepressi
on.
.
.
.
LINA
.
.
IjustfeltsadIdon' tknowwhy .
..
afterthose
guy sleftItri
edcl osingmyey est ightlybut
nothingcame. ..
whoam I ?Thehotguyhaspr et
ty
l
aidi toutther ethathedoesn' tli
keme. .
...
he'
s
actionssai ditallbutt henhesay st omor r
owwe
goingsomewher etoget her..
IwonderwhatIhad
donet omakehi m dislikemet hi
smuch! The
otheronewasni ceIguessbutIdon' tknowhow
am goi ngsur vivewi t
ht hehotguyi fhedoesn' t
l
ikeme. ..
..
myf athermustbel ookingf orme. .
am
sureaboutt hat..
.SoonenoughIwoul dbeback
home. .butev erytimeIt houghtabouthomeI
hadt hisfeeling..anunusual f eeli
ngwhi chmade
measkal otofquest ions...
.Whywasn' tIat
home. ..
whyam Isuf feringfrom amnesi a?Why
hasn'tmydadf oundmey et?howdi dIcomet o
thehospi tal?whatbr oughtmeher eInthef i
rst
place? ?al
lthisquest ionswher einsidemyhead
andt heyneededanswer sfast. .
..
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t8
.
.

LI
NA
.
.
AsmuchasIdi dntwantt hedaytocome,itdid
andwewentt osomepl aceoutoft ownthatwe
eventookapl aneto.Hesur el
ydidntli
keme
becausehedi dntevensitnexttome,notthatI
compl ai
nedbutitsaddenmemor ewasthefact
thatwhenwegott othehousehegav eacold
shoulder.Whatranginmymi ndwaswhy ,atf
irst
Ihadbeenangr ybutt henIr ealisedmay be
somet hinghappenedbef oreIl ostmymemor y.I
keptmydi stanceawayandj ustobser vedt he
env i
ronment .Therewasnohel perandi twas
get t
ingl ateatt hehouse, notthathungerwas
willi
ngt ol eaveme. Ionl yknewwewer ei nNew
StateTownwhenIaskedhi m andhegav eme
ani ceyanswer .Istart edcooki ng,seriouslyIhad
nochoi cebecauseIwasv eryhungr y.Atleast
ever yt
hingwast herei nt hekitchenandhewas
outofsi ght.Ifeltbet terwithjustbei ngal onei n
thehousebecauseatl eastther eisnoonet o
remi ndmei neachpr ickoft hemi nutet hatthey
disli
keme.Iwonder edhowmyl i
fewasbef oreI
l
ostmymemor y.Itriedgoi ngt hroughmyphone
foranyhi ntbutt herewasnot hing.Ther ewas
thisguyi nmypi cturest hatseemedal ot
fami li
arbutIcoul dn'tr emember .
Ihadmany
mi ssedcal l
sf r
om Dadandsomeonecal l
ed
Craig.Iwasatt heedgeofcal l
inghi m butpar tof
mej ustsai dno.May beIshoul dwai tunt i
lI
rememberIt houghtasIswi tchedmyphoneof f
whenwegother e.Icookedi nsilence.Ialsoate
asIj ustoccupi edmy selfwi t
ht het v,notthatI
waswat chingbutseemedt obet heonl ysane
thing.Ihadal sodi shedf orhimt henjustputhi s
foodi nt hemi cr owav esi ncehewasn' taround.I
want edt oaskaf ewquest i
onswhenhecame
back, Iwasgoi ngt ojustputasi demypr ideand
ask.Iwai t
edandwai t edf orhim butt herewas
nosi gn, sti
ll
Idi dntgi veup.Ineededt otalkto
him andToday !
Icoul dn' twai t
.Ihadst art
ed
get t
ingsl eepywhenhecameback, Iwant edto
scream " youleftmeher eallalonet hewhol e
dayaf teryoubr oughtmeher e..whatkindofa
sickper sonarey ou"?ButIhadj ustdecidedt o
keept hepeaceandal sot herewasnowayhe
wasgoi ngtoanswermyquest i
onsi fihad
madehi m mor eupset .Hel ookedsur pri
sedt o
seemeandhehadwant edt osaysomet hing
butIguesshedeci dedagai nsti t.
Hej ust
glancedandt henst ar tedwal kingaway .
.
Me:
CanIpl
easet
alkt
oyou.
.
Hi
!
:i
sthatacommand?
Me:
ofcausenot
..
please
Hi
m:whatdoy
ouwant
?
Me:
Ij
ustwant
edtoaskwhathappenedf
orme
t
oendupinhospi
tal
.
.
Hi
m: Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy outhat.
..
Idon'
tknow,
I
j
ustfoundyoulay
ingunconsciousI'
mthe
middleofnowher
e..
.
Me:
whati
tthef
ir
stt
imewemet
?
Him:nowhenwef irstmetIhadaccidental
l
y
spil
l
edmycof feeony ouandIhadwant edto
apologiseunti
lyout ol
dmeabouthowmuch
yourjacketcostli
keany oneasked.
.
Me:
whatki
ndofaper
sonwasI
?
Hi
m:y
ouhadadegr
eei
nrudeness.
.
Me:
ohh.
..
didIev
erhappent
oment
ionmy
par
ent
s?
Hi
m:noandam ti
redam notaphysiol
ogi
stor
what
everyoucal
lthem...
Ihav
ehir
edsomeone
t
ohelpyourecov
ery ourmemory
..
Me:
that
'sagoodi
dea
Him:
yeahandy
ouwi
l
lst
artt
omor
row.
.Am
goi
ngnow..
Me:
wai
t.
..
Icooked.
Him:
soucankil
lme?Iwoul
dn'
tbesur
pri
sedi
f
youpoi
sonedt
hefood.
Me:
what?Iwil
lnev
erdothat.
i.
.Wil
lnev
erdo
t
hat
.whatkindofamonsterdoyouthi
nkIam?
Hi
m:enought
oki
l
lIguess.
.

Icoul
dn'
thelpitbutl
ettearssti
ngmyey es.
I
wantedt
ocr ybutIhel
dt hem back.Howcould
hesaysuch..
..
hehatedmeIknowbutt hist
ime
hehadcrossedtheli
ne.
Hedi sappeared
somewher eandIj ustwentt other oom hehad
all
ocat edt omeear lier.Isatont hebedandj ust
wonder edwhyIwascr yingi fIcanal way scal l
mydadandgobackhome. Yeahandi t'snotlike
am homel essanyway .Ist i
llhadmycr editcards
soIwoul djustfl
ybackhomet hef oll
owi ng
mor ning.Idi dnthav eal otofcl ot hesexceptf or
theonesEr i
cboughtmeear l
ierbef orewecame
here.Iwoul djuststuf fthem i nmysl ingback
theywoul df i
tandt henf rom therebor derthe
planeandgohome. Itookmyphoneswi t
chedi t
onandt henbookedapl ane.Thepl anet hatwas
avail
abl ewasi nthemor ningandt heot herone
i
nt heev eningsoIj ustset tl
edf ortheear l
y
mor ningone.Icoul dn'tst ayher enomor e.It
wasj ustt oomuch.
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
Ididntsl eppt hewhol enightIjustkepton
tossingandt urning. AtleastIhadf oundt he
therapist.Thesoonersher emember sthe
better..Forheratl east.Shehadt ogobackt o
school .IknowIhur therbysay i
ngshemi ght
havepoi soned. .Me. .
.Isawi ti
nherey esbutshe
wasj usti rri
tati
ngmepl uswi t
hdadonmyneck
Iwasmor eirri
tatedal readyshej ustadded
mor e.Iwassor rybutIwasn' tapologetic
honest ly.AtlastIsl eptbutsur pr
isi
nglyi woke
upear lierthanIt houghtandIwentdownst air
s
forwat er .
IfoundLi nawr i
tingsomet hingona
paperbutsoonst oppedasshesawme.

Me:
what
'
sthat
?
Her:
sinceIhav
ereali
sedy
oudon'tl
ikemeand
am makingyouuncomfor
tabl
einyourown
spaceIhavedeci
dedmaybeIshouldleav
e
.
..
youknow.
.soy
oudon'
tfeel
uncomf
ort
abl
e
Me:t
ellmey ouarejoki
ng.
.Ihav
eleftmyjobfor
yousoIcanhelpy ouandtodayyouopeny our
ungr
ateful
mout hasalwaysandblubbershit
?
Her:
Idon'tknowwhatyouwantmetodo.
.y
ou
can'
tstaywithsomeonewhowil
lKi
l
lyou.
.

Ij
ustlaughedshemustbejoki
ng.
..
shejust
st
aredconf usedandsheki
ndal
ookedcutefor
asecondt here.
..
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t9
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Afterhisdr ylaughhejustlookedatme, which
endedupmaki ngmeuncomf ort
able.Ididnt
under standbecausehedi dntli
keme, well
enought othinkIcouldpossibl
ykillhi
m.Ido
under standmay bewemighthav edonesome
badt hingstoeachot herbeforeIlostmy
memor ybutatt hemomentIdon' trememberso
atleasthecoul dhavesparedmet hebeefat
l
eastunt i
lIrememberbutIguesst hatwasn't
thecasewi thhim.
Me:thi
sisagreatideaatl
eastnowyoucan
easil
yeatinyourhousewit
houthav
ingany
thoughtofbei
ngkill
ed.
.
Him:doy out
hinkam act
ual
l
yenj
oyi
ngbei
ng
here?Ihavel
eftmyjobtomakey
ougobackto
youroldsel
f,
itsoutofpi
tysopleasedousa
favourandsavemet hecrapshityou
blabber
ing.
..
Me:thi
siswhatam t
alki
ngabout
!Ican'
tstayI
evenfeell
ikewear
eIggyAzael
aandNi cky.
.i
ts
nothealt
h
Him:
what'snotheal
thi
syoual
way
sbei
ng
ungr
atef
ul..
.
Me:ungrat
eful?Ungratef
ulofwhatexact
ly
becauseitseemslikeeversincewegothere
you'
vebeent hrowi
ngshadesofameanat t
it
ude
sowhatexact l
yarey outal
ki
ngabout?
Him:t
hefactthatIev
enconsideredtaki
ngcare
ofyoushouldtel
lyousomething.
..Am wast
ing
moneyony ou!!
Me:
Lookwhat
every
oucal
lyour
sel
f.
..
Hi
m:Spha.
..
Me:l
ookSphaam notexact
lyhomel
ess.
..
am
j
ustgoi
ngbackhomeIhav eafamil
ysoam not
outofopt
ions.
.Mydadwil
lfi
ndmesomeone
andasforyourmoney
..
Iwi
llpayi
tbacki
nful
l
!
Hi
m:y
ouknowwhatgo.
..
Idon'
tcar
ehonest
ly.
..
Me:
Iknewy
oudi
dnt
..
.
Hej ustchuckl edwhi leshaki nghi shead. .
Itook
mysl i
ngbackandwentout sideasIcal ledthe
cab.AssoonasIar riveIwi l
lcal ldadt ocome
pickmeup. .l
eav i
nghi shousel ef tmeatpeace. .
.
Iwai tedoutsidepat ientlyfort heCab.Ihadan
hourupt omyf l
ight.Afterawhi let hecab
emer gedandIwal kedupt oit.Isati nt hecaras
thelast2day sev entspl ayedagai nandagai nat
thebackofmyheadmaki ngmet hinkIwas
doingt heri
ghtdeci sion.Ididntnot i
cehowmi st
thecl oudswer eunt ilIlookedhencemyhead
hadbeenbur iedi nmyhandsal l al ong.I
continuedlooki ngunt i
ltherainst arted..It
startedoffasaf ewdr opsunt il itt urnedt o
heav yandf astraindr ops.Get tingt otheai rport
tookl ongerthanIhadant ici
pat ed.TheCab
droppedmeandIwal kedinsidethe
air
port.
..
therewasashadesot heraindidntrai
n
onmebutt hecol
dbr eezegav emeashi veras
soonasIgotoutoft hecar .
Beforearri
vi
ngat
thedoorsomeMer cedesparkedinf r
ontthe
doorandIgotsur pri
sedseeingSphacomi ng
out.
..
whatnow? haveIstolensomet hi
ng?
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
Aftersheleftthat
'
swhenIr eali
sedshewasn't
j
oking.Ihadbeenl ookingoverthr
oughthe
windowandi watchedherbourdertheCab.
I
hadt hencall
edEricandhegav emeal ect
ure
myownf athercouldpossi
blynotgiveme

Hi
m:comeonSpha.
.howcoul
dyoul
ether
l
eave?youpickedherupi nthemi ddleof
nowhereandi nsteadoft akinghertothe
hospi
talyoutookhert oy ourcr i
bandnowshe
l
osthermemor y.Pract
icallyit
sal l
yourfaul
tyou
shoul
dn'tevenhadt akenhert oyourcri
band
nowshe'syourr esponsibil
itybutyoulether
l
eave.
.
Me:
l
ookIj
ustcan'
tst
andher
!
Hi
m:Mr!whet
hery
oustandherornotbutsti
ll
t
hetr
uthremai
nsyouareresponsi
blef
orher
memoryl
ossnowifIwereyouIwouldstopher.
.
Me:
unf
ort
unat
elyf
ory
ou.
..
.y
ouar
enotme!
Him: what
ev erbruh..
.Idon'
tknowwhather
fatherwil
l dotoy ouwhenhef i
ndsouthowy ou
didnttakehisdaught ertothehospitalaft
er
pickingherunconscioussomewher e..Ihopehe
cutsy ouintopiecesaf t
erblowingy
ourbr ain!
!
Me:
somuchhat
e!?
?
Hi
m:Ishoul
dbet
ell
i
ngy
out
hat
..
thewayy
ou
hat
ethatgi
rli
snotnor
mal
..
.

Afterawhi leofjusttr
yingtothi
nkIhadseen
thatEricactuall
ymadesense.Shehasl osther
memor ybecauseofmeandal l
Ihadbeent o
herev ersinceisbemeanandt hat'
swhenI
decidedt ofoll
owher .Therai
nwasn' tbacki
ng
downbutIhadt ostopher.Igotoffthecarand
wentov erather .Sheseemedsur pri
sedtosee
me. .

Her
:whatt
heee?
?
Me:
OKf
ineam sor
ry.
.

Sher
aisedherey
ebr
ows.
..

Me:
am real
l
ysorr
yIhavebeenpain.
.i
tsj
usty
our
f
ormerchar
act
erhadn'
tbeentheonethat
act
uall
ymakepeopl eremembery oui
nani
ce
waybutdon'tseeitasajust
if
icat
ionf
ormy
act
ions.Iam t
rul
ysorry.
.
Her
:Iunderst
andwhybutIseri
ousl
ydon'
twant
yomakey ouuncomf
ortabl
e..
Me:
youarenot.
..
Ifeeli
t'
smyr
esponsi
bil
i
tyt
o
makeyoufeel
better.
..
Her:
i
tsnoty
ourresponsi
bil
i
tySpha.
..It
hinkmy
dadisv
erywor
ri
ed...Hewil
lbethr
il
ledtosee
me..
Him:sowhatareyougoi
ngt
otel
lhi
m about
yourmemoryloss?

Shehadopenedhermouthbutimmedi at
ely
cl
osedit
.Iguessshehadn'
tthoughtaboutthat
onecl
earl
y.
.

Me:
Ithi
nki
tsbestyouact
uall
yst
ayunt
ily
ou
r
emember.
..I
maginethest
ressy
ouwil
lcause
hi
m whenhef
indsouty
ouhav
elosty
our
memory.
..
Her:
Iguessyouareri
ghtbutIam Notgoing
backtoyourhouse.
..
Iwi
llbookahotelorrenta
fl
ati
nthemeant ime.
.
Me:pl
ease.
..
justf
ort
woweeksandIwi
l
lbeni
ce
..
Iswear

Shewasmaki
ngt
hesi
tuat
ionhar
dert
hanI
thought
..
.
Her
:but
..
.
Me:
twoweeksonl
y.
.Pl
ease.
..
Her:
thisi
snotsomef
air
ytal
est
ory
..
.Idon'
t
want..
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbehav
eOKpl
ease.
.

Ihatebeggingbutshehadjustpushedinsome
corner
..
.Ireal
isedIwasstandi
ngont herai
n
eversince..
..andshewasunderashade.
..
Iwas
goingtocat chacoldandthatwas
obvious..
.andherhandswereinmine
Her
:aweekonl
y!
Me:
i
tsst
il
lOK.
.nowcanwegoback.
..
.
.
.
LINA
.
.
Itol
dhimi hadtocallsomeoneandhewent
andwai t
edformei nt
hecarwhileIcall
edmy
dad.Hemustbesi ckworri
edsoIhadt o
unburdenhim andsoIcall
ed.Hedidnttake
l
ongt oanswer..
Hi
m:ohhThankGody
ouar
efi
ne.
..
Iwaswor
ri
ed.
.
Me:
am sor
rydad.
..
howar
eyounow?
Hi
m:muchbet
ter
..Weneedt
otal
k..
am sosoo
sor
ryLi
na..
Ilov
eyouandy ouknowit
..
.al
lIwant
i
syoubeinghappybutIseeIhavef
ail
edyou..
Me:dadwhatarey
out al
ki
ngabout
..
.am OK
ummmhIwi ll
bebackaf t
eraweekIhavet
o
sor
tsomethi
ngout..
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eyouar
eOK?
Me:
yes.
.pl
easet
rynott
owor
ryt
hatmuch.
.
Hi
m:won'
tyoumi
ssoutonschool
but
..
.?
Me:Iwi
llhi
resomeonet
ohel
pmeont
hest
uffI
wouldhavemissed.
.
Hi
m:OKIl
ovey
ouOK?
Me:
met
oo.
.by
e

Andwi t
ht hatIhungup.Hesoundedwei
rd
though.Idon'tknowwhybutitdi
dntbot
her
me...
he'sjustbeingwor
ri
edIguess.
.
Iwalkedt
othecari
nar ushcauseitwasstil
l
rai
nyandIfoundhi
m shiver
ing.
..
.If
eltsor
ryfor
hi
m..
.butatt
hesamet
imet
houghthedeser
ved
i
t!
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
.
Wewer enowwai t
ingf
ordadt
otel
luswhat
Linasai
dbecausewehadbeenwit
hhim when
thephonerang.
.

Me:
i
ssheOK?
Hi
m:y
es.
..
sheev
ensoundedbet
tert
hanusual
.
..
Me:
sowher
e'sshe.
?
Hi
m:shedi
dn'
tment
ionbutsai
dwi
l
lbebacki
n
aweekst
ime.
.
Me:
okkbutwhataboutschool
..
?
Him:Iwi
ll
hir
esomeonetohelpher
..
..ohhGod
sheevensaysshel
ovesme..
.what
ev ershes
beeneati
ngsheshoul
dcont
inuedoingso..
Me:
Iagr
ee.
..

AtleastshewasOK. .
that'
sallt
hatmattered.
..I
walkedtomycarasmom sai dshewi l
lfol
low
aft
erawhi l
e..
onlytobumpi nt
oEric.
.t
hisother
dudeIknowf rom par
tiesandalsoknownas
Sphasbestie.
..

Hi
m:y
ohssupdawg?
Me:
nonmuchdudef
li
ps?
Hi
m:sameoldsameol
d..
.youknowy
oursi
ster
i
singoodhandswi
thSpha..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:mybad.
..

Hemumbl
ed.
..
Me:
whatdi
dyousayaboutmysi
steragai
n?
.
.
[
06/
15,
10:
26]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t10
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
Thedr
ivebackhomewassoqui
te,
shewasj
ust
l
ookingoutt hrought hewi ndow.Igazedather
hereandt hereandj ustwonder edwhatshewas
thi
nking.Somet hingwasj ustdiffer
entabout
her,
evenbef oreshel osthermemor y.The
momentIpar kedshegotof fandwenti nsi
de
thehouse.Ist ayedbehindj usttothi
nkbutthen
gotdistur
bedbyEr i
ccal l
ing.

Me:
Igothercal
m down.
.
Hi
m:thatsgreat,
Ial
mostsol
dyout
oher
br
other.
..
itsl
ipped
Me:
Herbr
other
?Idi
dntknowshehasabr
other
..
Hi
m:ohhIf
orgott
otel
lyou
Me:okky
..
..
sowhatdoy
oumean,
youal
most
sol
dmeout ?
Him:Iki
ndawentli
ke"yoursi
sterisi
ngood
handswithSpha"butnott
owor ryIgothi
m of
f
Me:
okkbuti
fany
thi
ngchangescal
lme.
.
Him:
wellyourdadaskedf oryouandItoldhi
m
youwerehelpi
ngoutsomeone. ..It
oldhi
mt he
whol
etrut
h..Niggai
spr oudofy ou.Hesays
t
hat'
stheonlygoodthingy ou'
veeverdone.
.
Me:
hey
yIhav
edoneal
otofgoodt
hings.
..
Hi
m:Icanpossi
blynamet
hem.
.l
ookdon'
tupset
Li
l
iagain.
.
Me:
whoseLi
l
inow?
Hi
m:Lina.
..
looki
fyoudon'
tl
ikeher
..
Idoso
pl
easedon'thur
therf
orme..
Me:
what
everbr
uh.
..
wil
lcal
lay
t?
Hi
m:y
ep.
.by
e..
ohbyt
hewayam f
ucki
ngNat
ti
e..
Me:
Nat
ali
e?
Hi
m:yep.
.herboyf
ri
endist
ooinlov
ewi
tht
he
st
epsist
ertoevennoti
ceher
..
Me:
wat
choutf
orAi
ds!
Hi
m:t
hat
'swhycondomsar
esol
d..
.Ikeepsaf
e
al
way
sandyouknowit
Me:
OKMr
...
.gat
tago.
.
Him:OKbutpl
easedon'
tfor
get
..Don'
thur
tthe
poorgi
rl
.Shedoesn'
tknowany
thing
Me:
OKIhear
dthat
..
bye

Ihungupbef or
ehecouldpossibl
yrespond.I
gotoffthecarandwalkedi
nside.Shewasin
thekit
chencooking.Shel
ookedassoonasI
gotinthehouse..
Her
:am cooki
ng,
shoul
dIi
ncl
udey
ou?
Me:
noam f
inet
hanks

Shej
ustnodded.
.
Me:
am j
ustnothungr
yyousee.
.
Her
:yes.
.

Ibetshet
houghtt
her
easonwhyIdi
dntwanna
eati
sbecauseam scar
edshemi
ghtpoi
sonme.
Idi
dntwanthert
othinkso.
.

Me:
butIt
hinki
tsagr
eati
deai
fyoui
ncl
udeme.
.
Her:
ohhnoify
ounothungr
yit
sOK.I
under
stand
Me:
nopl
easei
ncl
udeme.
.
Her
:comeon.
.y
ounothungr
yandIknow.
..
..
Me:
arey
oual
way
sli
ket
his?
Her
:l
ikewhat
?
Me:
li
kethat..
..Imeanyouareal
waysdebat
ing.
I
tsunat
tract
ive.Pl
easeincl
udeme.
.

Isaidsoftl
ynotwant
ingtosoundr udei
nany
way.Itsprett
yhar
dthatIalwaysnowwat ch
whatIsayandev ent
het oneIuse.Shegl
anced
thenlookeddown.
Her
:OKf
ineIwi
l
lincl
udey
ou.
.
Me:
theni
t'
ssor
ted.
.

Ij
ustst oodt herewat chinghercook.Inot i
ced
shewasuncomf ortabl
eandIguessi tsbecause
Iwasst arri
ng.Hermoodhadcompl etel
y
changed.Shewassadi nthemor ni
ngandnow
shewasj ustfine.Iwant edtoaskhowdoesshe
doi tbutIjustrest r
ained.Shewasser i
ously
uncomf ortablethatsheev endroppedt he
spoon,Ihadwant edtolaughbutIj usthel
d
my self
..
.Ialsodon' tknowwhyIj ustconti
nued
l
ooki ngatherev enaf t
erIreal
izedshewasn' t
comf ortabl
e.

Her
:ar
eyougonnast
andt
her
efor
ever
?
Me:
yep.
.whynot
?
Her
:i
tsr
ude.
..
Me:
mymom nev
ert
oldme.
.
Her
:t
henshef
orgott
hen.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:yes.
.

Shesmi l
ed..Inevernoti
cedshehadabeaut if
ul
smileunti
ltoday..
shehadaki l
lersmileev en
thoughitwasn'talotshesmiled.Most ly
becauseIhadnev ergivenherar easont o.I
tookthatmomentt oj
ustobserveher .Shewas
beauti
fulbutlookedalmostwhi t
ebutbl ack.she
hadplum li
ps,smallhandsnottoment i
onshe
wasshor t
.hadasl i
m bodybutwi thsuitable
curvesandass.Shewasf l
awless...
Me:
youhav
eav
erybeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e..

Shelookedatmewi thaconfusedlook.
..
I
coughtheroffguar
d.Shesti
lll
ookedbeaut i
ful
asever..
.Iwon'
tbejeal
ousbecauseshewas
beauti
fultheonl
yprobl
em wast heti
nyvoice.
Me:
Isai
dyouhav
eabeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e..

Shecoul
dn'tbel
i
eveherearsIguess.
.shest
ood
ther
eperpl
exedforafewthenshelookedaway
shyl
ybutrai
sedherheadagaintomeetmy
eyes.
.

Her
:t
hanx.
..
Iguess.
.
Me:am ser
ious..
.l
etmegi
veyouspace.Don'
t
wannamakey ouuncomf
ort
abl
eevenmor e.
..
.
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Thatwasv er
ywei rd.Iknowi tski ndanor mal in
mov iesbuti twassoof fi nr ealit
y .Hi sey es
burntmyski nt hatnowIcoul dn'tl ookhi mi nt he
eyesl i
keIhadbeendoi ng.Hewasact i
ngwei rd
nodoubtbutIguesshewast r yi
ngt obeni ce..
I
continuedcooki ngaf terhedi sappear ed
somewher e.Idi shedupf orbot hofus. ..
..
then
tookt hecour aget ogocal lhim.Ihadhesi tated
fi
rstbutt henj ustt ookt hecour ageofazebr a
whichdr i
nkswat eratar i
v erthati swel lknown
tobet hecr ocodi l
eshome.I twasa3
bedroomedsoIj ustwentf rom r oom t o
room. .knocking. .
.Iwentov ertot hi sot her
one..i
thadabl ackcol oureddoor ..itwaswei rd
becauseal lt
hedoor swer epai ntedwhi t
e.
Wi t
houtsecondt houghtIopenedt hedoor .It
didnthav eany onebutIcoul dsmel lhiscol ogne.
Ther oom wassobeaut if
ul thatIhadwant edt o
l
eav eassoonasIr eal
isedt herewasnoonebut
i
tsbeaut ycoul dn'tletmel eav e..
Iwentt othe
glassdoorwhi chl edtot hebal cony .Istoodby
thebal conyasIj ustletthefreshbr eezehitmy
skin.Ithadst oppedr aini
ngandi tlookedso
beaut i
fuly etsost i
ll
.Itwassoqui t
enobi rd
maki ngnoi seorany thingli
ket hat.Igotst art
led
whenIf eltsomeone' spr esents.It ookaqui ck
turntol ookandIwi shedIhadn' t.
..
hewas
standingt her eonlyinhi str
ackpant s.Icouldn't
stopst arri
ngat histossobecauseGodhe
l
ookededi ble.Ifel
tli
kej ustfeeli
ngt hose
abs...
hehadt atoosbutt herewasonet hat
coughtmyey e..
Iwant edtofeel i
tbutno.I
continuedst arri
ngwi thoutsayinganywor d.
.
Hi
m:f
oodr
eady
?
Me:
yes.
.y
esi
tis.Iwasact
ual
l
ylooki
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Hi
m:OKt
hat
'sni
cei
fyou.
.

Iwalkedbackinsidetheroom passinghi
m
l
eaningbytheframeandourski ntouched.It
fel
tli
keElet
ri
cityshockbutIjustwalkedoutof
hisroom.Iwentst r
aightdownstai
rssti
ll
try
ing
tor egist
erwhathappenedi nmyhead. Godwhy
thehel lwasheshi r
tl
ess.
.? Iaskedmyi nnersel
f.
IswearIhadmadeat otal foolofmyselfbymy
const antst
arri
ng.coul
dn'ty ougetagrip!My
i
nnersel fscreamed.Hecamedownt othetabl
e
afterawhi l
e.Hewasst il
l shirt
lessmakingthe
atmospher etense.Ij
ustlookeddownonmy
plate.

Hi
m:t
hist
ast
esgood.
..
Hecompl
i
mentedandst
il
lIkeptmyheaddown
ev
enwhenIspoke
Me:
thanks.
.

Hej
ustchuckl
ed.
..
Hi
m:sowhatdoy
oudo?
Me:
studymedi
cine
Hi
m:Isee.
..
am Imaki
ngy
ouuncomf
ort
abl
e?
Ishortmyheadupandhehadasmi
rkonhi
s
face.
..

Me:
what
??.
..
no.
..
no.
.I
..
ju.
.j
ust
..
youknow
Hi
m:noIdon'
t.
..
youj
ustwhat
?
Me:
ummhwi
l
lyou.
..
youknowputy
ourshi
rt
..
.on

Isai
dasmyv
oicewentf
aint
.Hehadapl
eased
l
ook.
Hi
m:noIwon'
t
Me:OKthat
'sst
il
lOKyouknow.
..
it
sthe
same.
.y
ouputitonoryoudon'
t.
.

GodnowwhatwasIsay i
ng.
.Iwasn'
teven
maki ngsense..Ij
ustl
ookeddownonmypl at
e
againandbi tetheBacon.Myeyeskeptroaming
aroundt heroom avoi
dingey
econtact.I
couldn'thandleit
.Whywasheoutofasudden
changi ng..?Ilookedathim onel
astt imebefore
Ist oodup. .hehadhiseyesstuckonmeandi t
waspr ettyhardlooki
ngawayandei therwashe.
FinallyIst oodupandwakedt ot
he
ki
t chen..tookadeepbr eathasIjuststoodthere.
Iwander edwhatgamehewaspl ayingat
now? becausehewasdamngoodati t!
.
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t11
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Thedaypr oceeded,ifIhadev erbeenconf used
beforet odaywasnumberoneont hel i
st.The
therapisthadcome, ami dfifti
esl ady.Sheasked
meaboutmy selfandf ami l
y .Itoldheral lIcould
rememberandofcauseshet oldmeIwont
rememberi mmedi atelybutwi thtimeIwi l
lifI
j
ustr elaxal lt
hingswi llcomebackt ome.
Relaxingwast hel astthingonmymi nd
especial l
ywi t
hSphaar ound.He' ssudden
changewassowei rd,
Imeanear li
eronhewas
allnastyonmyf acebutnowhe' sallnice.Iwas
alonebecausehehadwant edt ogi vemesome
spacewi ththet herapist.Icoul dbreat hwithout
himi nt hehousebutpar tofmej ustwant edhi m
tocomebackal ready.Ihadawei rdf eel
ingt hat
madei thar dformet ojustr elax.Iremember ed
howmydadact edoutear l
ier,hewassoof fand
thatmademeconcl udet hef actt hatmay bewe
hadaf i
ghtbef oreIlostmymemor ybutwhat
wer ewef i
ght i
ngabout .Inev erar guewi thmy
dad.Iwant edt ocal landaskwhatwasheon
aboutear l
ierbutt hendeci dedagai nstit,
Idon't
wantt ogethi m wor kedupov ernot hi
ng.I twas
already1900hr sandhewasn' tbacky et
,Iwasa
bitwor r
iedbutIf eltstupidov erit.HowcanI
possiblybewor ri
edabouthi m?Anddef i
nat l
yit
wasmuchcl earthere'snodayhewi l
leverget
wor ri
edaboutmebutIj ustf eltobl i
gedt obe
wor ri
ed.Istoodupr eadyt ogoandcookwhen
thedoorcr ackedopenandIexpect edi ttobe
him butitwassomeoneIdi dntev enknow.He
l
ookedgor geousandIcoul dn' treallymi splace
hishandsomeness.Hef lashedasmi leassoon
ashesawme, Ikeptaconf usedf ace.Spha
didntment iont omet hathewasexpect i
nga
visit
or.Theguyappr oachedmeandhehada
boy i
shgr i
nonhi sfacebuthest illlookedt oo
damngood.
Hi
m:Hi
eam Edwar
dyouar
e??
Me:
Lina.
..
Sphai
sn'
ther
eatt
hemoment
..
Hi
m:Iknow.
..
Iwil
lwai
tforhi
m byt
hewayi
ts
ni
cetomeetyou.
..
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Hi
m:IhopeIdi
dntst
art
ley
ouLi
na.
.
Me:
youdi
dforasecondt
her
e..
..

Hesof
tl
ylaughed,
hehadabeauti
full
aughby
t
heway..
..
..
Icoul
dn'
thel
pitbutsmil
e..

Him:
wellam sosorr
y,i
twasn'
tbyi
ntent
ion.
..Am
sohungr
yrightnow,
mi ndi
fIor
derf
ood?
Me:
i
nfactIwasaboutt
ocook.
..
Hi
m:gr
eat
..
Iwi
l
lhel
pyoui
fyouwant
..
Me:
nodon'
twor
ry.
..
.
Hi
m:Iinsi
st.
..Iknowhowt
ocookal
so,
mymom
t
eachesme...
Me:
OKi
fyousayso.
..

Wewalkedt
otheki
tchenandIinst
ruct
edhi
m
tof
ixsomesal
adsandniggaknewwhathewas
doi
ng.
Hi
m:sowhatdoy
oudoLi
na?
Me:
wel
lam amedst
udenty
ou?
Hi
m:Ci
vi
lengeener
ing
Me:
wow!
!t
hat
'sni
ce.
..
Hi
m:Ar
eyouSphasgi
rl
fr
iend?
Me:nonoam not
..
.i
t'
scompl
icatedbutone
t
hingforsur
eam nothi
sgi
rl
fri
end..
Hi
!:
am gl
ad..
youarebeaut
if
ulbytheway
..
..
.y
ouhaveabeaut
if
ulsmil
ebytheway.
..
Il
ookeddownshy
ly.
..

Me:
thank.
..
younotbady
our
sel
f.
..
Hi
m:wel
lIt
ryhey
..
..
sot
ell
meabouty
our
sel
f
Me:
wel
lappar
ent
lyIl
ostmymemor
y..
.
Hi
m:am sosor
ryaboutt
hat
..
.
Me:
i
tsOKi
guess.
.
Him:Am r
eall
ysor
ry.
.buty
oudor
emembery
our
parent
sayt?
Me:
yesofcause.
..
.IguessIst
il
lremembert
he
f
actt
hatmymom i sdead..
Hi
m:am sosor
ry.
.aboutt
hat
..
.

Hecameov ert
ome..
.Idon'
treali
seIwascr
ying
unt
ilhewi
pedmytearsaway...

Hi
m:i
sthet
imeIhugy
out
omakey
ouf
eel
bet
ter
..
?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
.

Isai
daf
terachuckl
e..
Hehuggedme. .
he'sarmsweresowar m andhe
smelledgood.YoumayaskmewhatwasI
doingwi thastrangerbutheresembledSphaa
l
ot,nodoubthewast hebrother.
.Ihelduntohim
ti
ghtlyasIl ett
earsstr
eam down.Imi ssed
her..
verymuch. .
Isobbedsil
entlyi
nhisar msand
onlypulledwhenIhear dsomeonecl eari
ngthei
r
thr
oat s.
ItwasSphaandhest oodtherethere
wit
hhi sar msfolded.
Spha:
iseey
ouguy
shav
eal
readymet
..
Me:
wel
lyes.
.
Edward:
ohhIf
orgott
oment
ionam hi
ssmal
l
brot
her.
.
Me:
Ifi
gur
edhey
..
.y
ouguy
slookal
i
ke.
..
Edwar
d:buty
ougat
taadmi
tLi
naam t
hehot
test
ayt
?

Ij
ustl
aughed.
.Sphawasjuststandingther
enot
ev
ensmili
ng.Iguesshewasati tagainunl
i
ke
hi
sbrot
herhewasgr umpyandEdwar dwasj ust
afr
eespir
it
edpersonandmay bet hat
'
swhywe
cl
i
ckedsofast.

Edwar
d:ar
ewedonewi
tht
hef
ood?
Me:
yep.
..
Ithi
nkwecandi
shnow.
..
Spha:
Edwar
dcanwet
alk.
..
Edwar
d:yesbutaf
terIf
ini
shhel
pingLi
na.
..
hey
y
Il
oveyourname!
ehey..
it
sbeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
well
Ialsol
ovey
our
sitr
emi
ndsmeof
Twi
l
ight
..
.
Hi
m: don'
ttel
lmey
our
emembert
hatVampi
re
t
hroughme. .
Me:
wel
lhe'
shotsoy
eah.
..

Wel
aughedagai
n..

Hi
m:wellIst
il
lthi
nkam hot
tert
hanhi
m..
.am t
he
or
igi
nal
Edwar d..
Me:
obv
iousl
ySi
rEdwar
dyouar
e..
.

Wedishedandaf
terwewer
edi
neSphawasno
l
ongerther
e..
.
Me:
wher
edi
dyourbr
othergo?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowhey
..
..Justcomewi
thhi
sfood.

Edwar
dhelpedmeputupthet
abl
e..
.wesat
downbesi
deseachot
her.
.

Me:
uummhEdwar
dmay
behe'
swai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
Hewant
edt
otal
ktoy
ou.
.
Edward:
Iknowwhathewantstotal
kaboutand
Idon'
twanttot
alkt
ohim abouti
t.
.
Me:
ohhOK.
.
Hi
m:won'
tyouaskwhati
tsabout
?
Me:
i
tsnotmybusi
ness
Him:
wel
lam maki
ngity
ourbusiness.
..Am sur
e
hewant
stotel
lmetostayawayfrom you.
.
Me:
what
?hedoesn'
tev
enl
i
keme.
..
.
Hi
m:l
ol.
.why
?
Me:appar
ent
lymyprev
iouschar
act
erwasn'
tthe
oneonewouldrememberi
nagoodmanner
Hi
m:ahhIsee.
..
.butIwon'
tst
ayaway
..
.
Me:t
hat'
sgreatbecauseam f
reaki
ngbor
edi
n
t
hishouse.
..
Hi
m:Iwoul
dtoo.
.
Me:
sohowabouty
out
ell
meabouty
our
sel
f.
.
Him:OK..
wellam 22t
urning23i n2day s.
..hav
e
onebrotherwhohappenst obeSpha. .
.st
ay
al
one..
andwel l
am notrelat
ionshipguy..
.Iwas
onceplayedandIhatedthef eel
i
ng..
Me:
am sor
ryhey
..
Hi
m:butam nof
uckni
gga.
..
Me:
wel
lam gl
adt
oheart
hat
..

Sphaemergedfrom t
hest
air
s..
.Wi
thadon'
t
fuckwi
thmef ace.
..

Spha:
Edwar
d!!
!
Edwar
d:am st
il
leat
ing.
..
.
Spha:
now!
!!

He'sv oi
cewasf il
ledwit
hmuchauthori
tyt
hat
Edwar dautomat i
call
yst
oodupandfoll
owedhis
brother..
.Icont
inuedeati
ng.Hesur
elyt
ookhi
s
ti
meandwhenhecamebackIwasal
ready
doneeat
ing.
..

Hi
m:It
oldy
ou.
.
Me:
whathappened?
Hi
m:t
oldmet
ost
ayt
hehel
lawayf
rom y
ou.
.
Me:
sowhatnow?
Hi
m:am gonnagetmuchcl
osert
oyouunt
ilhe
ki
l
lshi
mself.
..

Webot hlaughed,
eventhoughIstil
lwandered
whyhewoul dwantthat?Imeanam bor edi
n
thi
shouseandmostoft het imehe'snothere
sowhywasi tapr
oblem thatIhav
emade
fri
endswithhisbr
other
?Hecamedownaf tera
whileheadi
ngout..
.

Me:
SphaIcooked.
.
Spha:
IwillcometoeatwhenIcome
back.
..
.EdwardIshoul
dfi
ndyougonebyt
he
ti
meIcomeback. ..
Edward:
Linay oushoul
dst
ayawayf
rom
GrumpyGr annies.
..

Hesaiditoutloud.
.Ibethejustwant
edt
o
annoySpha..
.buthejustignor
edandwal
ked
out.
..

Edwar
d:t
hatguyi
sgr
umpyasf
uck.
..

Thewholeev eni
ngIwaslaughi
ng..Edwardwas
thebestcompanyever.Helef
tlaterandIj
ust
watchedTV.Sphacamebackaf terminut
esof
Edwardleav
ing..
.

Hi
m:wher
esmyf
ood?
Me:
i
ntheov
en.
.

Hedisappearedtot
hekitchenthencameback
andsatbesidesmeandsuddenl yIf
elt
uncomfort
able.Mybreathi
ngratest
art
ed
changi
ng..
.Heatebesidesme

Hi
m:y
ouareagreatcook.
..
imfactbet
tert
han
mymom t
heproblem i
sthesalad.
.
Me:
Yourbr
otherpr
epar
edi
t.
..
Hi
m:obv
iousl
yhedi
d..
that
'swhyi
ttast
esbad.
..

Ij
ustl
aughed.
..

Hi
m:i
sther
eachancey
oust
ayawayf
rom hi
m?
Me:
what
?why
?Am bor
edher
eal
lal
one.
.
Hi
m:t
henIwi
l
lst
aywi
thy
ou.
..
Me:Idon'
tunder
standwhy
..
.y
oucanalwaysgo
Edwardwil
lbegoodcompanyam sur
e..
Hi
m:please.
..Isai
dIwil
lsi
twi
thy
ouandkni
tif
t
hat'
swhaty ouwant..
Me:Spha.
..
weall
knowyouhardl
ystayhere.
..
am
scar
edofbeingi
nthi
shugehouseallal
one.
..
.

Hecamecl osertomeasheputhi spl ate

down. .
hecamecl oseunti
lIcoul dherehi s
breathi
ng..
.am sur ehecouldpossi bl
yhearmy
heartbecauset hewayi twasbeat ing.Ihad
fr
ozen...
andj uststayedsti
l
l.Hecamecl oser
andgent l
yplacedhi sheadonmyneckandI
couldfeelhisbreathingagainstmyski n.
.I
waitedforhim unt i
lhegentl
ypl acedhi sli
pson
myneck. .
hislipswer ecol
d..
.thenhewhi spered
"IsaidIwillstaywi t
hyou"..
.mybodywasso
numbt henhepul l
edoutandhehadasmi l
eon
hi
sf ace..
..
Hi
m:y
oul
ookcut
e..
..
..
Godwhatwast hi
sni
ggadoi
ngt
omenow.
..
thi
s
wast
ortur
e..
..
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#i
nser
t12
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Icouldn'tbel ievewhatwashappeni ng, either
couldIbel iev eitwasr eall
yhappeni ng.I tfelt
l
ikeadr eam am j ustwai ti
ngt obeawokenf rom.
Icouldn'tsleep, Ikeptt ossingandt ur ni ngt he
wholeni ghtandt hemomentmyal ar mr angi t
feltl
ikeIhar dl ysleptf oraf ewmi nut es.Ij ust
l
ayonmybedt ryi
ngt ounder standSphaswei r
d
newbehav i
or .Lastni ght'seventpl ay ed
repeatedlyi nmyheadandt heyal llef ta
quest i
onmar kwel lexceptf orEdwar d.Such
freesoul ,
Iwi shedhewoul dpopbyt oday .I
fi
nall
ywentf orabat handchangedi nt omyski n
j
eanandakni t
tedt opwi thpushi nst henwent
downst airs.Iwascur ious,Iwant edt oseei f
Sphacoul dr eallystickwi thmet hewhol eday
l
ikehehadsai d.Ilookedf orhi
m al l ov ert he
houseandni ggawasnowher et obef ound.I
threwmy selfont hecouchandj ustt riedt o
calm down.Iwasmadandhear tbroken. ..Ifhe
couldn'tstaywhydi dhel i
e? whatwer ey ou
expecting?Thathe' sgoi ngt ositwi thy our
stupidasst hewhol eday,myi nnerself
screamed.Ofcausehecoul dn'twithst andmy
si
ght ,
allalongIt houghtmay bewewer efi
nall
y
getti
ngal ong.Ishoul dhav eknownt hatthis
niggawi llnev erstophati
ngonme.Ni ggacan
got ohellforal licare,
Icouldn'twaittogohome.
Icertainl
ydi dntneedhi mf ormet orecov er
,
whatIneedi smyDad.Byt heendi fthisweekI
wouldhav el onggonehome.Ii nstantlylostmy
appet i
te.Ijustsatt her
ewai tingforhim soIcan
givehim api eceofmi nd,hehasgonet oofar
now! !
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
TodayIwokeear lyt hanusual .Iwant edt ogo
andmakesur eev ery t
hingi si norderatt hehot el
.
Ibookedheradayatt hehot el,
shewoul dgof or
thespur ,doal lthegi r
li
shst uffthewhol eday.I
havebeenhar donhersoal i
ttl
ebr eakwi ll
do
herjust ice.Theonl yPr oblem wi thLinai sthat
shesst ubbor n.Ev ersi nceIj ustst artedlooking
atherast heinnocentLi naIj ustsawasi deof
herthatIcoul dn'tgetenoughof .Ihadseenher
beaut iful selfandhear t.Idon' tknowabouther
l
atechar acterbutIj ustliket henewLi nabet t
er.
Iwasscar edofwhat '
sgoi ngt ohappenwhen
recov ershermemor y,allthet hemean, rudeLina
woul dbeback.Mybodyt ensedasIt houghtof
that.Ev er ythingwasper fect,nowIwasheadi ng
homebutst oppedbysomef lowershopandgot
herf l
ower s,
Iresear chedandaccor dingt omy
resear chgi rl
sl ovesf l
ower s.Idrovehome, nowI
woul dsur priseher .IhopedEdwar ddi dntgot o
myhouse.Idi dntwanthi m nearLi nabecause. ..
.
Wel lIdon' tknowbutIf eltabi tjealouswhenI
sawthem huggi ng.Ihadbeenmadatf ir
stbut
whenIr eal
isedt hatIshouldhavegi v
ent hatt
o
LinabeforeEdwar dcame.Icouldn'ttel
lshe
wasbr eaki
ngi nsidebutEdwar dcouldina
coupleofmi nutes.Iwasnowgoi ngtobet he
guyLinaneedsf orthef ol
l
owingcomi ngday s
andIhopebyt henshewoul dremember
somet hi
ng.Am notgoi ngtoberudet oherbut
am goingtobeni ce.AsIwasdr i
v i
nghomeI
recei
vedaphonecal lf
rom Eri
c..

Me:
yes?
Hi
m:babyboo!
Me:
niggawhatt
hef
uck?
Hi
m:am t
ryi
ngt
ober
omant
icmaman!
Me:
got
ryi
tony
ourbi
tch.
.
Hi
m:suchat
urnof
f,
byt
hewayhowi
sLI
NA?
Me:
shesf
ine
Hi
m:Ihopeyouai
n'
tabusi
ngt
hepoorchi
l
d
emot
ional
ly
..
Me:noam not
,am act
ual
l
ybei
ngni
ce.Youcan
askher
..
.
Hi
m:Ihopey
oudon'
tcat
chf
eel
i
ngs,
Il
ikedher
f
ir
st!
Me:
ain'
tther
eenoughwhor
esf
ory
ououtt
her
e?
Hi
m:bruhdon'
ttell
mey oualr
eadyl
ikeher
!!
butI
woul
dn'tbl
amey ouify
oudid,
sheshotasfuck!
!
Me:
arey
oudone?Am ki
ndadr
ivi
ngso.
..
Hi
m:l
ol.
..
.youli
keherdon'
tyou?Thatwoul
dbe
t
hebestthingyoueverl
i
kedyourwholel
if
e!
Me:
mel
i
kingherornoti
tsnoty
ourbusi
ness.
.
Him:
hell
yesi
tis,
i
fyoul
i
keany
onet
heni
tsmy
busi
ness
Me:
what
ever
,l
ookIgatt
ogo.
.

Isai
dasIpul
l
edr
ighti
nfr
ontofmyhouse.Igot
outwiththef
lowersandheadedinside.Icould
tel
lshewasmadwi t
hthewayshewasl ooking
atme.Whathav eIdonenow?.Shewast ryi
ng
tocalm downbutshewasstil
lfumingwi th
anger.
Me:Jesus!y
oulookl
i
key
ouar
egoi
ngt
oki
l
l
something.
..

Badmove,Ishoul
dn'
thavesai
dthat
..
..
Ishoui
dnt
havesai
dawor dinf
act.

Her:
youknowwhat ?youareright,
Iwanna
murdersomeoneandt hatsomeonei syoubutI
j
ustreal
isedy ounotworthit
.I fyouthinkam
dependentony oubruhyougati tallwrong.I
don'
tneedy ourgrumpyasst ogetbet ter.Ican
doitmyself
, andhereIwast hinkingfi
nallyyou
havechanged!
Me:
hol
dup!
whatar
eyouscr
eami
ngabout
?
Her:
i
fyoudon'
tknowthenIsuggestwel
eav
eit
butt
omorr
owam leav
ing!
Me: Goddamni tLina.Am tr
yingtobeni ce,
Ieven
wentoutt hereearlyinthemor ningtobooky ou
adayatt hespursoy ouenjoyy ourselfbutthis
i
st het hanksIget ?Younotabi tbetterfrom t
he
oldy ou.Youar ev eryungratef
ul andletmet ell
yousomet hingsweet heartam notgoi ngt obeg
yourungr atefulass.Ihavedonet hatlookwer e
i
thasgot tenme.Youdon' tseem t oamaze
me,thisat t
itudeofy ourssucks!

Ithr
ewt heflower sont hefloorbeforeIst ormed
outtomycar .Ileftherst andingthere.Afterall
myef f
ortsthisist het hanksIget.Idon' tknow
whyam sur prisedi t
sal way sbeenlikethat !Igot
i
nmycarandspedaway .Ineededadr i
nk.
There'
snoonest r
essf ulmor ethanLi naon
eart
handt hef actt hatsheknewhowt oupset
mei nasecondf rustratedme.AsIwasst il
l
r
acingdowntheroadEdwardcal
led.Hewast
he
l
astthi
ngIneededthatmoment.

Hi
m:heySpha.
.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Hi
m:Iwannacomeov
er.
.
Me:
comeov
erwher
e?
Hi
m:y
ourcr
ib.
..
Me:
Idon'
twannaseey
ourassatmyhouse.
.
Hi
m:butwhy
??
Me:
weal
lknowwhy
..
.

Aswewer
est
il
ltal
ki
nganot
hercal
lcamei
n..

Me:l
ookI'
vegatt
ogobutst
ayawayf
rom my
house!
Ihungupandt
ookt
hei
ncomi
ngcal
l
,i
twasEr
ic.
Me:
whatnow?
Hi
m:ni
ggar
elaxwhat
'swr
ongwi
thy
ounow?
Me:
Lina'
sungr
atef
ulassi
swhat
'
sup!
Hi
m:whathappenednow?
It
oldhi
m al
lthathappened.
Me:cany
oubel
i
evei
t!
?Am sodonewi
tht
hat
gi
rl
Hi
m:am sur
eshedi
dntmeant
oupsety
ou.
.
Me:shewantsmet obegherbutt
histi
meshe
gotanothert
hingcomingf
orhercozIain'
t
beggingherst
upidass.

Idon'tknowwhathappenedbutbecauseI
wasn'tpayingmuchattent
iontotheroadIsaw
my sel
finthewronglane,
Ericwassti
llont
he
l
ine.Ipanickedandtr
iedswav i
ngthecart
oit'
s
ri
ghtfull
aneonlytocoli
dewi t
habus.Ifel
tmy
headspinningunt
ili
tfi
nall
yst
oppedandIwas
dri
ft
ing.Icouldst
il
lhearEr
ict
alki
ng.
.

Him:sphawhat
'sgoi
ngon?
isev
ery
thi
ngal
ri
ght
.?
Spha!

AndIbl
ackedoutt
odar
kness.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
.
Afterhelef
tIj
ustsatdownont hecouch.What
haveIdone,Ihur
thim andIcouldseeitinhi
s
eyesthathewashurt.Poorguywast r
yingtodo
somet hingniceformeandIbl ewit.Ifel
tso
stupi
d,sochildish.Iheardaknockafterhour
sof
waiti
ngf orhim andal l
alongIhavebeen
pract
icingwhatIwasgoi ngtosay.Iwashoping
i
twashi m onlytofindEdward.
.

Hi
m:hey
y..
Me:
hi,
comei
n..

Il
ethi
minandwesatdownt
oget
her
.

Hi
m:y
oul
ooksadwhat
'swr
ong?I
sitSpha?
Me:
yes,
onl
ythi
sti
meIwast
hemeanone.
.
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryhewi
l
lcomear
ound.
.
Me:y
oudon'
tunder
stand,
hewasr
eal
l
ymadand
hestor
medout.
Him:OKbuthesprobablygoi
ngtocomeback
hereforsomereasonthenwhenhedoesyou
apol
ogi
ze
Me:t
hat
'sact
ual
l
yagr eatidea.Assoonashe
comesbackIwi
llapol
ogize
Hi
m:y
ousee,
Iwi
l
lhel
pyoui
fyouwant
..
Me:
noplushewon'tbehappyespeci
all
yaf
ter
het
oldmetostayaway..
Hi
m:OKi
fyousayso.
.hav
eyoueat
en?
Me:
noI
'
m notHungr
y..
.
Hi
m:butIam socomehel
pmecook.
.

Hesaidpulli
ngmet otheki
tchen.Assoonas
wegott her
eIheardaknock.Iwalkedtot
he
doorwithEdwardbehi
ndme.Iwassur pri
sedto
seeEricandthatmomentIjusthadafeel
ing
thatsomethi
ngiswrong.

Me:Er
icwhatapl
easantsur
pri
sepl
easecome
i
n..
Il
edhi
min.
.

Er
ic:
Ssupki
d?
Edwar
d:nunmuchbr
uh.
..
Er
ic:
ummham gl
adIcaughty
oubot
hher
e..
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?

Myhear
twasbeati
ngf
astnowandmypul
ms
wer
esweat
ing.
..

Er
ic:
umhhhesbeeni
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dent
..
..
.

Idi
dntgetwhathesai
d..
.

Me:
thi
sisnotani
cej
okeEr
ic!
who?
Hi
m:Spha.
.
Hesai
dfai
ntl
y

Inoti
cedhowser i
oushewasandIfeltt
ears
sti
ngmyey es.
..
itwasmyfaul
t.
..
Icausedit
!.

Me:
I.
..
tel
l
...
what
?

Isai
dast earsstr
eameddown, mylegs
suddenl
yf el
theavy.
.Ial
mostfel
lbutEdward
caughtmebef oreIcoul
dreachtheground.
.

Me:
whathav
eIdone?I.
..
..
it
smyf
aul
t.
.i
fIdi
dnt
..
.
Er
ic:
i
tsnoonesf
aul
tLi
nacal
m downOK.
..
.

Icoul
dn'
thearwhathewassayi
ngallIcoul
d
heari
smysobs...
.whathav
eIdone.Whatkind
ofaper sonwasI ?Iwasn' tgoi
ngtoforgi
ve
my sel
ffort his.IfeltwhatexactlywhatIfel
t
whenmom di ed.Myhear twast oomuchheart
Brockent hatIl etoutal oudcry,
asIbalanced
my sel
fwi thEdwar d.Ij
ustwant edtodiethat
moment .FirstIlosemymemor ynowSpha. .
..
.I
don'tdeserv etobeal ive..

Me:
i
tsal
lmyf
aul
t.
.Whathav
eIdone?
!
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued.
..
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed
#i
nser
t13
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Mybodyf eltheavyandt i
red,l
ikeIwasdr unkor
something.Itt
ookal ongst r
uggl ef ormet obe
abl
et oopenmyey esandaccor dingt omy
observat
ionIlookedlikeIwasi nsomehospi tal
nottoment i
ont hesmel lofpil
lst hatintoxicated.
Whathappenedt ome?Whatam Idoi ngher e?
Thi
swer ethequest i
onst hatscr eamedl oudin
myhead.It ookadeepbr eathtocal m my self
down.Igotabi tstar
tledwhent hedoorcr acked
openandadoct orgotin.Nowi twasconf irmed,
Iwast ot
all
yinahospi tal
.
Doc:
Final
l
y,Mr
sLi
naZwel
ani
,
youar
eawake.
.

MrsLi nawho??Thatmomenti tal l

came
back,SphaoutburstandEri
ctell
ingmeabout
howhewasi nvol
v edinacaraccident
.Suddenly
Igotalertandtheheartmonit
orconf i
rmedit,
i
t
suddenlystart
edmaki ngsomenoi sethatt
he
doctorrushedovertome.

Doc:
Mam y
ouneedt
ocal
m down.
..
Me:
am cal
m,i
ts.
..
wher
e'sSpha?Er
ic?Edwar
d?
Doc:don'
twor
ry,
yourbr
otheri
sout
side.
..He
shouldbeher
eanysec..

Holdup?Fir
stl
yMrsZwelaniandnowmy
brot
her.
..
..Whysomanyliesbutthatdidnt
seem t
obot hermeatt
hemoment ,whatI
wantedwasSpha.If el
ttearsstreami
ngdown
myfacethenEricandEdwar dcamei n.Il
ooked
att
hem try
ingtoreadtheirexpressi
onsbutthey
weretot
all
yblank.Iwasscar ed.
.

Me:
i
s..
..
he.
..
..
isheOK

Iaskedf
aint
ly.
..
..
.Idi
dn'
twanttohearwhathe
wasabouttosay,myheartwasn'
tinplacefor
that
.Idi
dntthi
nkIcouldpossi
blyhandleit
..
.

Me:
i
shegoi
ng.
..
.
Er
ic:
hesinICUbutt
rustme,myni
ggais
st
rongerandwon'
tl
etyoutwosepar
ate.
..
.
Myhear tbr
okei nseconds,Tearsrol
l
eddownas
Ifel
tthegultall
ov eragai
n..
,.
..
..
Iknewi twasmy
fault
.Iknewit,
evenSphaknewandev eryone
elsebutIdon'tt
hinktheywoul dwannal etme
knowt hatt
heyact ual
lybl
ameme. Er
iccame
andst
oodbesi
desmesof
tl
yrubbi
ngmyback.

Me:i
shehurtthatmuch?
ishehav
ingany
ser
iousdamages.?
Him:Thedoct orsaidhewasn'thur
tbutinternal
theydon'tknowany thi
ng...Wewil
lhavetowai t
unti
lhewakesup. .
.butit
snoonesf aul
t.
..Idon'
t
thi
nkhewoul dl oveittoseeyoublaming
yoursel
flikethi
s..
..
.

Al
lal
ongIdidntreali
sehowEdwar dhadbeen
soqui
te.Hewasj ustl
ookingatme...
..Theway
hewaslookingatmehej ustl
ookedconsumed
i
nsomet hi
ng.

Me:
Edwar
d..
..
..
.

Hest
il
ll
ookedatmet
hensmi
l
ed.
..
.
Hi
m:ar
eyouOK?
Me:
am good.
.whyar
eyousoqui
te?
Him:it
sfunnyhowy ouareinhospital
yoursel
f,
didn'tevenaskthedoctoraboutwhat
broughtyouher eorwhat'swrongwi t
hy oubut
youseem soconsumedi nSphasheal thy.
if
that'
swhatt heycalll
ovethenbasical
lyIwould
dieofsuch.
Me:thethi
ngi
s,
IknowifIdi
dntactli
ke
ki
ndergart
enki
dthenpossi
blyal
lthi
scoul
d
havebeenavoi
ded.
Him:well
iseenoonei slookingoutf ory ouand
Iam goi
ngtodoi t
...Youhadapani cattackand
i
fyoudon'tstopbl
ami ngyour sel
fyouwi llbe
heremuchlonger.
..Icareabouty ou,Ican't
possi
blyhavetwopeopl eIcareabouti nt he
hospi
tal
.
Er
ic:
Iagr
eewi
thEdwar
d,y
ouneedt
ost
op
bl
amingyour
selfbecauseIbel
i
eveev
ery
thi
ng
happensf
orareason..
Doc:
yes,
MrsZwelani
Ibel
ievebot
hthesemen
ar
eri
ght.
..Youneedtor
est.
Me:
Ineedt
oseeSpha.
.pl
easel
etmeseehi
m..
.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

.
Iwasnowwalkingt oSpha'swardal ongsi
de
Eri
cwit
hEdwardl eadingtheway.Edwar dhad
managedtogetthedoct ordi
schargeme.Ikept
wonder
ingwhythedoct orhadaddr essedmeas
someoneswif
eandt herewasonlyonewayt o
fi
ndout.

Me:
Eri
c..
.
Er
ic:
yeah.
.
Me:whydidt
hedoct
oraddr
essmeasMr
s
Zwelani
?
Edward:i
tsbecauseIputyouunderSpha'
s
medical
aidandt heonl
ywaywewer egoingt
o
manageisbymaki ngyouSpha'
swife.
..
Er
ic:
wehadt ol
i
ebecausey
ouneededmedi
cal
at
tent
ion.
..
Me:
OK,
Iunder
standIguess.

WestoppedatsomedoorandsoIguessedwe
wer
ethere.
Edwardopenedt hedoorandwegoti n.Ifel
tmy
soulshutt
er ,
whatIsawbr okemet ot hecore.
Hewasl ayingtherehel plessandst rappedinan
Arti
fi
ci
alrespirator.Idraggedmyl egsuntilI
stoodbesideshi m.Slowl yIplacedmyhand
overhisandhewascol d.Hewasl if
eless,
had
brui
sesher eandt here.Tear sburntmyf aceand
Iwasshaki ng.Ital
l wassohar donme. .
Me:am sosorr
y,Ir
eall
yam.Pl
ease..
.wake
up,
pleasedon'
tdot hi
stome.
..
.am sor
ry,
Ireal
l
y
am...
..
.

IsaidasIsof tlysobbedwithmyheadi nhis

coldhand. .
.IguessEdwar dandEr i
cdeci dedto
j
ustgi vemet imesoIcoul dcryandl etitall
out.
Sil
ent lytearscameoutwi thnosoundcomi ng
outf rom myl ipsasIjustlookedathim.
Suddenl yther
ewaspai nt
hatst r
uckmyhead.I
shutmyey estightl
ywishi
ngi twouldgoaway
butt hepai ninmyskul lwasst i
l
lthr
obbi ng.It
wasl i
ket heairwaspassingi nonme.Thepai n
struckagai nandagai nmuchst r
ongerthant he
previousandIf eltdi
zzybutIheldont ot hebed.
Iwant edtoscr eam butIj
ustkeptqui t
ebecause
allmyener gywasgoneandsuddenl yIf elt
my selfinsomeone' sarms.ItwasEdwar d.
.
Hi
m:hey
y,y
ouOK?

Somethi
ngflashedinmyperipheral
visi
on, I
bl
inkedsev
eralti
mesandi twasgone..t
he
vi
sionwasnomor eonl
ySphat hatl
ayinfrontof
me.Thepainstruckagai
nandnowconst antl
y.
.

Edwar
d:Ar
eyouOK?
may
beweshoul
dgo.
..

"
Edwar
d"Isai
dsoft
lyasmyheadfel
tli
ket
her
e
wasahammerinsi
deandoutofmyhead.

Edward:pl
usyouhaventeat
en,
weshoul
dbuy
foodtheneat
,your
estthenwecomeback
l
ater.
..

Hekepttal
ki
ngandIwant
edhi
m si
lentbecause
t
hemor ehetal
kedt
hemoremyhead
t
hrobbed.
..

"Edward"Isaidagainwanti
nghimtoinstant
ly
shutthehellup.
.Iwantedhimtoshutup.My
eyesocketshadev enstar
tedt
ohur t
..

"Edward"Isai
dmor
eloudl
ynowt
hathekept
quit
e..
.
Me:
myhead.
..
..
..
.

Isai
dfai
ntl
y.
..
Eri
cwasal
readyal
sobesi
des
me..
..

Er
ic:
what
'swr
ong?
Me:
Ihavet
hemostfucki
ngheadachei
nthe
wor
ldandi
tneedssi
lent
!
Idi
dntreal
i
seI'
dswornunt
ilacoupleseconds
aft
erIwasdonewit
hmysent ence.
..

Me:
am sor
ryi
tsj
ust
..
..
.shi
t!

Ithurtagai
n..
,t
hef
lashcameback,
i
twasn'
t
clearbut.
..
..

"Li
naIcareabouty
ou"It
ri
edshaki
ngmy
head,
butthevoi
ceinmyheadgotst
rongerand
l
ouder.
..

"
Shesnot!
Thesooneryour
egi
stert
hati
nyour
t
hickskul
lthebet
ter
"

Iwantedthem t
ostop,Icoul
dhearEri
cwas
tal
ki
ngbutitfel
tli
kehewasf araway
,hesv
oice
wasfaint
..
..
..
"Youknowi tsaweektoy ourf
ather
's
birt
hday
..
...
..Iwasthi
nkingmaybeweshoul
d
planasurprisepar
ty"
..

I
twasal l
soconfusingandmyheadhur tbad,
I
rubbedmyforeheadasmyv isi
onbecame
blur
e,t
hevoi
cesdidntstop.
.

"andnooneaskedyousojustbuzzof
f
OK?st
opbeingannoy
ingandirr
it
ati
ng"
"
FunnyhowIr
emembery
ou"
"
Itwoul
dhav
ebeenmuchbet
teri
fIdi
dnt
"

"Stop!
"Iscreamed..
.Ibackedawayandmyey es
wer enowmi st
.Irubbedmyey esandi t
stopped,l
it
eral
l
y.I
tbecamequi te.Isawanur
se
rushov ert
omet heninject
ingmewi th
somet hingt hatIwasnowf eel
i
ng
drowsy ..
..
"Dad" .
..
.Iwhisper
edbef or
eI
compl etelyfeltweakwhatwashappeni ngto
me. .
..Instantl
ymyey esshutcloseandIsaw
my selfdrift
ing..
..Thelastt
hingonmyheadwas
Spha. .
...
.
.
.
Iwokeupagai n,
andIr eali
sedIwasst illi
na
hospital.Theev entsthathappenedear l
ier
playedbacki nmymi nd.It r
iedt hi
nkingmuch
i
nt othev oicesthatwer espeaki nginmyhead
butnot hinghappened.It ri
edcl osingmyey es
butnot hingcame.Ther ewassomet hingabout
thisvoicest hatmademyhear tbeatf ast.I
l
ookedar oundandIsawEdwar dsl eeping
swi f
tl
yonachai r.Hehadst r
essl i
nesonhi s
foreheadandaf rown.Ibethewaswor ri
ed.I
noticedt hesmal lpi
pest hatwer econnect edto
me.Thi rst
yIwas,
ther
ewasaglassofwater
besidesme.Itri
edgett
ingi
tbutmyhandhurt
thatIletoutasof
lymournt
hatIwasloud
enought owakeEdwardup.
.

Hi
m:heythankGody
ouar
eawake.Iwas
wor
ri
ed..
.
Me:
wat
er.
..
Hi
m:ohht
ake.
.

Hesaidhel
pingmedri
nkthewat
erwithaSt
oll
.
Af
terIwasdoneheheldmyhands.
..

Hi
m:Godnev
erdot
hatagai
n..
.Iwaswor
ri
ed
si
ck!
Me:
wher
e'sEr
ic?
Hi
m: hewentt
otakeSpha'
spar
ent
sfr
om t
he
ai
rpor
t.
.
Me:
ohh.
..
anychange?
Hesof
lt
yshookhi
sheadi
ndi
cat
ingno.Il
etmy
ey
esdowntomyhands.
..

Him:butdon'
twor
ry,
hewi
l
lbef
inesoon
enough..
.
Me:whenissoonenough,
whycan'
thej
ustwake
upnow..

Isai
dasmyv oi
cebrokebecauseof
tear
s.Lord,
pleasemakehim wakeup.Ican't
survi
ve..
..
..
..
..Hecamecloserandburri
edmei n
hisarmswer eIcri
edinsil
ent.
..Iwasbreaki
ng
i
nside.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t14
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Myey eswer ef ocusedonhi spinkishlips,his
ski
nt onethatwasl i
kecof f
eebutwi thabi tof
milk.Ikeptwonder i
ngwhathewast hi
nking,
whathewasf eel
ing.Ibethebl amesme, but
couldIpossi bl
ybl amehimf orthinki
ngsuch.
Hishandwasst i
llcol
d,Ifel
tli
kedy i
ngbutt he
momenthi shear tmonitorwoul dmakenoi se
hopecr eptinmyhear t
.Themomentt hehear t
moni t
orwoul dbeepIknewhewasst i
l
l al
ive,t
he
fai
ththatIwoul dhav elostsecondsbackwoul d
comeback.I twasal mostaweeknow, andhe
wasst i
lli
nt hesameposi ti
on,samesamesame
andIwasi mpatient .Thedoct orkeptsay ingthe
samet hing"thathewoul dsoonwakeup
becausehehadpassedal ldangerzones"but
hewasn' twakingup.Ihadt hreatenedt oSue
thehospi talyester daybecausei tsbeenlong
sincewehav ebeenwai ti
ng.EricandEdwar d
wer emost l
ytherewhenIneededt hem tobe.I
hav emetSpha' spar ents,hi
sDadSt ernl
y
Zwel ani t
ogetherwi thhiswi f
e,Spha'smom
Thulani.Lov elypeopl etheyare,nott oment i
on
howMr .Zwelani hadknownme.ThemomentI
saidmynamehehadcl ai
medt oknowmy
father.Theyar ebusi nesspar t
ner s.Iwas
holdingbackmyt ear s,
Icouldnotal l
owmy sel
f
tocr yany more.Iwi shedIcanst aythewhol e
daywi thhi m butIknowIwoul djustbreakmor e
andt hehospi talwon' tall
owi t
.
"Pleasedon'
tdothistome"si l
entl
yIsai
dasI
restedmyheadonhi shand.
"IknowIwasa
compl et
ebratbutpleasewakeup...
..Am abad
personIadmitbutpleasewakeup"Isaidf ai
ntl
y
wit
ht het
earsIhadbeenhol dingback
str
eamingdown.Ittookalotofcour ageto
gathermysel
fandwal kout.Iwipedmyt earsas
Imademywayt oEricwhowaswai ti
ngforme
i
nhi scar
.Igotinthecarandj ustpl
acedmy
headonmyt highsasIabsor bedthepainthat
hadconsumedme.If el
thi
shandbr ushingmy
back..

Eri
c:
don'
twor
ry,
gi
vehi
mti
meandhewi
l
lwake
up.
.
Me:howmuchmor edoesheneed? i
sGod
punishi
ngme,Iknowitsmyfaultbutwhycan't
hejustwakeup?whyishebeingselfish?Whyis
mymemor ynotcomingback?why?thisisaway
Godwant stopunishme.
..
..
..
Eri
c:heyhey,
li
stent
ome. ..
.Nooneispuni
shing
anyoneOK? noone...
.maybeifyoust
opblaming
yoursel
fall
thiswil
lstop.
.Maybehewillwake
up..
.
Me:am notaki
dEric,
am notandhe..
.hewon'
t
wakeup. .
..
maybeIshoul
dleave.Youknow
may behewant
smet oleave..
.maybehe
despisesmypr
esence.
Er
ic:
nowy
ouar
ebei
ngcr
azy
!that
'
sinsane.
..
Me:t
henwhatshouldIdobecauseIj
ust
can'
t
...
..
..
.Ican'
tdot
hisany
more..
.
.
.
.
Wewer enowinsomer est
aur
antt
ryi
ngto
eat,
wellEr
icwaseat
ingandIj
ustst
aredmy
food.Ihadnoappet
it
e.

Er
ic:
pleaseeatLi
l
i.
.

Ismi
l
edoratl
eastf
orcedasmi
l
e..
Me:
Ihat
ethatpetname.
..
.
Er
ic:
i
fyoudon'
teatam goi
ngt
oscr
eam i
t.
..
.
Me:
l
ol.
..
.am j
ustnothungr
y..
.
Er
ic:
OKf
inej
ustf
orcei
tdownpl
ease.
..
.

Iendedupeat i
ng,thenafterweat ewewent
home.Iwast ir
edandIj ustwant edtosleep.
..
.
Themomentwear ri
vedIwentt oSpha's
room,yesIhavebeensl eepinginhisroom and
withtheaidofsleepi
ngpi l
ls.Idon'
tknowbut
sleepi
nginhisbed,hisColognejustmademe
feelbett
er.Il
ayonhi sbedandcl osedmyey es.
.
.
.
.
Iwasr unni
ngbutIwasn'
tmovi
ng,
Ikepton
runni
ngbutIwasstil
lnotmovi
ngbutthenI
stopped.Li
ter
all
yst
opandthatmomentsome
angerconsumedmyhear t,
Iwasangr yandhur t
butIst il
lcoul dnotknowwhatIwasangr y
about.Myheadhur tagainandt histimet he
painpushedmet othegr ound.Mom, mymom
stoodt here....
thenasmal l
girlcamer unni ngin
herarms.Shet ookherandst artedki ssi ngher
i
nherf ace,thesmal lgir
lkeptgi gglingand
l
aughi ng.Itt ookmesomet imeunt ilIreal ised
that,
thatsmal l
gi r
lwasme.Suddenl yt hey
disappear edt henIl ookedar oundsear chi ngfor
them butt heywer enotthereany mor e." Mom"I
screamedl ouderandl ouderbutnot hing, she
wasgone.Theywer egone.Ishi tupst raight
drowni nginsweatandInot icedIwascr y i
ng.
Baddr eam. .
..IsaidasIwentt ot hebat hroom
andspl ashedmyf acewithwat er.Whatwas
happeni ngt ome.Thi sdr eam lef tmewi tha
headache.Car efull
yIstaredatmy selfi nt he
mi r
ror,thent hev oi
cesinmyheadst ar ted.They
wer everyl oudandIcoul dn'thearany thing.I
l
eanedagai nstt hewallmov i
ngawayf rom t he
mi
rr
orf
orsuppor
tbecausemyl
egswer
eweak.
"
Youneedt
oletgoofy
ourangerLi
na"

Thisvoi
cekeptrepeati
ngthesamesentence
overandoveragainthatIf
ell
onthef
loor.
"Stop"Isai dwithmyv oicebar elyaudi
ble.
..
.And
theni tall cameback.I tcamebackf astli
ke
magmai nav olcanoer uption...Itcameback
andIf elt!yhear tbeati
ngf ast ,
fasterhard
againstmychest .Iwasdr ift
ingandIt r
ied
holdingonbutt hedar knesst hatwas
consumi ngmewasst ringert hanany t
hing.I
wasdr iftingfast,t
hefloorwasdr owningmeand
Icouldn' tdoany thi
ngt ostopi t.Iwasbeyond
weakandIf adedawayi ntot hedar knessunti
l
thedar knesscompl etelyswal lowedmebuti t
hadal l cameback, i
twasbackandangerhad
fi
ll
edmyhear tov eragain!
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
.
It
sf unnyhowev er
yonehadr el
axedoverLina'
s
disappearance,
butIwasn'tandIwon'tcal
m
downunt i
l If
oundher.Iwasmeet i
ngwiththePI
Ihadaskedt olookforLi
na.Impati
entl
yIwai t
ed
forhiminmycart henthepassengerdoor
openedandshegoti n.Yes,i
twasaf emaleand
Ihadhear dshewasgoodatwhatshedoes.

Me:
whatdoy
ouhav
eforme?
Her:she'
sjustoutoft
own,
inNewstat
et own
andshesstayingatSPHAMANDLAZwel ani
'
s
housewhohappenst obehospi
tal
becauseofa
caracci
dent
.
Me:
what
?
Her:
Herearethefewpict
uresItookwhenshe
hadvisi
tedhi
m atthehospit
alandwhenshe
wasathishousewi t
hSpha'sfr
iendEr
ic.

Iknewit,
thewayEr
icact
edst
rangel
ytheot
her
daylef
tquesti
onsi
nmyhead.Iknewheknew
something.

Her
:t
her
e'sonemor
e..
.
Me:
yeah?
Her
:She'
sinhospi
talev
ersi
nceyest
erday
,andi
t
l
ooksli
keshehadlosthermemory.
.
Me:
hol
dup!
Idon'
tunder
stand.
..
..
Her:Sphamandlawasremov edfrom theI
CU
todayandi sbeli
evedt
owakeupany ti
meand
Yoursistersl
ippedcol
lapsedyester
daybutshe
wi
ll
befi
nebuti
tseemsl
i
keshel
osther
memor
y..
.
Me:
whendi
dshel
oseherhermemor
y?
Her
:i
tsbeent
ime.
..
Me:
Ineedt
ogot
ohert
oday
..
..
ummht
hanks.
.
Her
:i
twasni
cewor
kingwi
thy
ou.
..
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.

ThemomentshesteppedoutofmycarI
bookedapl
aneti
cket.Iwasrel
iev
edbutIwas
scar
ed..
.Whati
fshedoesn'tr
ememberme?
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
.
Itf
eltl
i
keIwasdr eaming,
Iwoul dhearhersobs
andtal
ksandhowshewoul df orceherselfto
l
aughbutmybodyf el
theavyforany t
hing.Ev en
tomov emyf i
ngeri
twashar d.Iwouldr eall
yt r
y
tomov ebuttheweaknessthatwasr ulingmy
bodywast oomuchst r
ongforme.Iwasst i
ll
str
uggli
ngwithmyey eswhenIhadav oice
speaki
ng..
"Babypleaswakeup, am v erywor riedabout
you..
.Everyoneisev eny ourfather .Your
girl
fr
iendory ourfr
iendwhoseagi r
l"shesoft
ly
chuckled..
"sheswor ried,shesav erygoodgi r
l
youknow. ..Yourdadwoul dbev erypr oudify
ou
wifeher,am happyy ouf oundagoodgi r
lli
keher
notthepr osti
tutel
ikegi rl
sIal way sseey ouwith.
Shesv erywor r
iedandshesunconsci ous..
.
Pleasewakeupmyboy .
..
."Ifeltmyhear t
breakingasshesai dt hat,Iwant edt oopenmy
eyesandIwasntgoi ngtogi veupt oday.She
heldmyhandandki ssedi t,
Imov edmyf i
nger
andasmuchasi twasdoi ngIswearImovedit.
Therewassilence.
..
.."Babypleasedot
hat
agai
n,doitf
orme, y
ourmom"It ried
agai
n,har
derthanIhadl astti
meandf r
om ther
e
Ihadherscreamingt hedoctor.
..
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Icoul
dn'
tbri
ngmy sel
ftoopenmyey es,notthat
Icoul
dn'
tbutIdidn'twantto.Howcoul dInot
rememberthepainmyf atherput!ethrough,
howcouldInotrememberhowhi m mar ryi
ng
Debrahur
tmet othecor e,
howcoul dInot
rememberPhil
ipwhohadusedme, It
houghti t
waslovebuthehadmadeast upi
dbatatme.
Howcoul dInotr ememberhowIwasBr ocken
tothepoi ntofal mostt akingmyownl if
e.How
couldInotr emember ?Myhear tached, itached
sobadt hatallIwant edt hatmomentwast odie.
Iwashur t,
angryandt herewast hi
shat r
edt hat
consumedme.Icl osedmyey estight l
yasI
drownedmy selfi npai n.Iwasf acingt hepai nI
hadcov er edwi thaf ierceme.I twasacov erI
admi t,
Ididn'twantt of acet hepai nandIhad
smileditof f.Ididn' twannaf acei t,
ev ent oday
butIknewIwasn' tgoi ngt owi n,fort hef i
rst
ti
meIl ett hem t earsf all,
fort hefir
stt imeI
all
owedmy selft ocr yandf orthef irstti
meI
gavei ntopai n.Ital l startedassof tsobst hat
l
aterdev elopedi ntoal oudcr y.Ifeltit,
Ifeltthe
painIhadshi eldedal l myl ifeandi twas
breakingmet ot hel ast .IthinkIsl eptmy selfi
n
tearsbecausewhenIwokeupmyey eshur ta
l
ot ,
Icoul dn'tbeliev ei t,
hewasst arringatme
andhewassmi l
ing.Fort hef ir
sttimeIsmi l
ed
andi twasanhonestsmi l
e, Iwasr eli
eved.At
l
eastsomet hi
nggoodwashappeni ng.Ican't
expl
aini
tbutIf el
tthisconnectionthemoment
heheldmyhand, itwassost rong..
.oureyes
l
ockedandIwant edittobelikethatbutIwas
scar
ed,Ihadf earthatconsumedmyhear tbut
thewall
sIhadbul tonmy sel
fwerebr eaki
ng.
WasIgivingIn,If
eltinlovebutIhaddoubt sand
Iwasscaredf orme...Iwastrul
yscar ed.
..
.
Me:
Iwaswor
ri
ed.
..

Iwhispered.
..
.t
ryi
ngt
ohol
dbackt
het
ear
sthat
werefighti
ngtocomeout
..

Hi
m:why
?

Icoul
dn'
tbel
iev
eit
,if
eltl
i
kesuppressi
ngt
he
angert
hatwasinmeintohi
m butIhel
dmy sel
f.
..
Hi
m:Iwast
heonewhowaswor
ri
ed.
..
.
Thewayhesaiditmel
tedmyheart
..
.Ismi
l
ed.I
cer
tai
nlyf
eltf
reewhenhesar
ound.
.

Me:
Iremember
..
.

Hedi
dn'
tseem sur
pri
sed.
..Hej
ustsmi
l
ed.

Hi
m:Iknewy
ouwoul
d,howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?

Ishruggedmyshoul
derswit
ht ear
sstingi
ngmy
eyes..
.ThemomentIbl
inkedtearsfel
l
.Iwas
abouttowipet
hem whenhedi d.
..

Hi
m:i
tsf
unnyhowIhur
tev
eryt
imey
oucr
y..
..

Il
etoutasmal
ll
aught
hroughmyt
ear
s..
.Sur
ely
bei
ngunconsci
oushadchangedhi
m..

Me:
Iwi
shIdon'
tremember
,Iwi
shIdi
dn'
t.
..
.
Hi
m:buty
oudo.
..
.cany
ounotchange.
..
Me:am angry.
..
.Am soangr
yandam hur
t.
..
am
br
okenbey ondmeasure.
..
Hi
m:Icanhel
pyouheal
,
howaboutt
hat
?
Me:
cany
ou?
Hi
m:whynot
?
Me:Idon'
tknowaboutt
her
estbutIwoul
dlov
e
i
tifyoudo..
.
Him:Idon'
tknowifi
tsmebuty
ouar
emor
e
beauti
fult
oday.
..
Me:
wasIugl
ybef
ore?
Him:
No,y
ouaremorebeauti
fult
oday
..
..
it
sa
compl
imenti
fyoudi
dn'
treal
ise.
.
Me:
l
olt
hanks.
..
Hesmil
eddownatmeandIcoul dn'thel
pitbut
tor
etur
nit.
..
.Idon'
tknowbutIf el
thappy..
.i
sthi
s
howhappypeoplef eel
?i
fiti
sGodIsweari
woul
dloveitifi
tstayedli
kethat.
..
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued.
..
..
..
..
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t15
.
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Thef oll
owi ngdayIwasatt hehospi tal, Spha
wasget t
ingdi schargedbecauset hedoct or
s
sawnor easonofkeepi nghi m whilemeont he
otherhandwasdi schar gedy esterday .Iwast he
onepi cki
nghi m upsi nceEr i
chadwentback.I
wasgl adhewasOKnow, andIcoul dn' twai t
unti
l hehadf ull
yrecov ered.Wewer egoi ng
backTomor row,Ihadal otofcat chingupt odo.
Tobef r
ankl yhonestIwasn' treadyt of acemy
dad,orany oneel sefort hatmat ter.Iwasst i
ll
angrybutIwast ryi
ngnott obe.Iwasbr ought
backt oear thwhent hedoct orspoke.

Doc:
OKy
ougoodt
ogo,
buty
oushoul
dn'
tov
er
wor
kyoursel
fandohhi
fyoucouldIt
hinki
twi
l
l
beagoodideai
fyouhi
reanurse.
.
Spha:
OK,
Iwi
l
llooki
ntoi
t.
..
..
Doc:
pleasemakesur
eyougetenoughr
est
..
..
Me:
don'
twor
ryDoc,
Iwi
l
lmakesur
ehewi
l
l.
..
.
Doc:
OK,
that
'sal
l
...
Ithi
nky
ouar
enowgoodt
o
go.
..
.
.
.
Wemadeourwayoutt ohiscar,
yesIwasusi ng
hi
scarsinceIdidn'thavemi net
hisside.Aswe
werenowappr oachinghiscarIsawCr aig
comingoutofhiscar .Hecamer i
ghtstraightat
us,
Iwasn'tex
pect i
nghim nodoubt .Hehadt his
concer
ninhisey esashel ookedatme.

Hi
m:Iwaswor
ri
ed.
..
.
Me:
am OK.
..
.
Hi
m:hav
eyour
ecov
eredy
ourmemor
y??

I
tdidn'
tbot
hermeonhowhef
oundout
,am sur
e
hehashisways.

Me:
yepev
ent
houghIwi
shIdi
dn'
t.
..
.

Henodded.
..
..
mor
eli
keheunder
stood.

Hi
m:whenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Me:
tomor
row.
..
.
Him:
well
sinceIsawyou,
Iam l
eav
ingt
oday
.
Youcantagal
ong..
.
Me:
no,
Ihav
etot
akecar
eofSpha.
..

Isai
dasIl
ookedatSphawhohadaconfused
l
ookon,
Iguesshewantedani
ntr
oduct
ion.
.
Me:
Sphat
hisi
sCr
aigmybr
other
..
..

Cr
aignoddedatSphawhor
etur
nedt
henode.
..

Spha:
youcango,
Icant
akecar
eofmy
sel
f
Li
na..
..
Me:youhear
dt hedoctor
,hesaidyoushoul
dn'
t
overwor
kyourselfsoImightaswellst
ayand
takecar
eofyou....
Spha:t
hat'
swhatam say
ing,
youdon'
thave
to.
..
am sureonl
yonedaywon'tdamage
anyt
hing.
..

It
urnedandnowgav eal
lmyattent
iont
o
Spha.
..
.Iwantedt
ohelphi
m buthewaspushi
ng
meaway ..
..
.andt
hatwasdri
vi
ngmenut s.
.
Me:
Iwantt
o..
..
pleasel
etme.
.
Cr
aig:
i
tsOK,
youcancomet
omor
row.
..

It
urnedbackt
olookatCr
aig.
..
Me:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
.

Hecameandgav emeahug. .
.Iwasn't
expect
ingthatbutIhuggedhi
m back.Thenhe
pull
edout.
..
Hi
m:wi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
..

Hesai dbeforehewentt ohiscarandspedof f

,I
wantedt oaskSphawhyhewant edmet ogo
butIjustheldmy self
..
.Wewal kedtohiscar
andIdr oveustohi shouse.
..Aswegoti nhe
headedt ohisroom. .
.Iwasn'
tscaredofwhathe
wouldsayi fhefindsoutIwascr ushi
nginhi
s
room andIhadcl eaneditsothere'
snowayhe
woul
deverf
indout
.Iset
tl
edont
hecouchwhen
hecameback.
..

Hi
m:comeher
e..

Hethenwentt
ohi
sroom andIf
oll
owedbehi
nd
hi
m.Wegotinandhetur
nedtol
ookatme.

Hi
m:y
ou'
vebeensl
eepi
ngher
e?

Iwasn'
tgoi
ngl
i
e..
..
orev
ent
ryt
o

Me:
yes,
I
..
..
.i
tmademef
eel
bet
ter
..
Hi
m:bet
teraboutwhat
?
Me:Iknowam t
heonewho.
..
..
.i
tsmyf
aul
tthat
youwerei
nanacci
dentsoI
..
.
Hi
m:wai
t!
whot
oldy
oui
twasy
ourf
aul
t?
Me:i
fIdidn'
tactli
keabit
chthatIam t
henyou
wouldn'
thavestormedoutandgoti
nvolv
edina
caracci
dent.
..
Hi
m:whydoy
oul
i
kedoi
ngt
hist
oyour
sel
f?

Igottungti
ed,
Idon'
tknowbutIhadthi
sguil
ty
i
nsideofmeandIf el
tli
keIwastheoneto
bl
ame. .
..
Hewalkedov
ertomeunti
lhewasj
ustaf
ew
i
nchesaway.
..
.het
ookbot
hmyhands.
.

Hi
m:it
snotyourf
ault
,it
smineactuall
y.Iwason
t
hephonethenIdi
dn'tpaymuchattenti
onto
t
heroad.
..
Me:
sti
l
l.
..
.I
..
.
Hi
m:i
tsnoty
ourf
aul
tLi
na.
..
.l
ookatme.
.

Al
lal
ongIhav
en'
tl
ookedathi
mint
heey
eev
er
si
ncehewokeup..
.Iwasscar
edofwhatIwoul
d
possi
blyseei
nhi
sey es.
.

Hi
m:l
ookatmeLi
na.

Il
ookedathim,asIwasaboutt
otur
nawayhe
hel
dmyf acegentl
ymakingmenottobr
eakt
he
eyecont
act.
..

Me:am sor
ryIwasacompl
etebi
tch.
..
.am so
sor
ry.
..
Hi
m:youshoul
dn'tbe,
Idon'
twantyout
obe.
..
.I
wantust
ostartonacleanplat
e..
.

Ij
ustnoddednott
rust
ingmyv
oicet
hatmuch.
..
.

Me:
whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his.
..
Iwhi
sper
ed.
..

Him:
becauseIfeelt
hisconnect
ionbet
weenus
andIwanttocheri
shit.
..
Icar
eaboutyou.
..

Ij
ustnoddedbecauseIalsofel
ttheconnect
ion,
butIwasscared,Iwasscaredso
scar
ed..
.scar
edforme.

Him:Iknowyouarescar
edbutdon'
twor
ryI
bel
ieveyouarei
ngoodhands..
.

Hewasnowcl osertomet hanbef

oreandhe
focusedhiseyesonme.I twasli
keIwas
drowninginhisdarkbrowneyes,
hehad
beauti
fuleyesandIjustwonderwhyIhadn't
noti
cedthisallal
ong.Therewasnothi
ngelsein
t
heworldexceptf
orthoseeyes.
"Iwantt
oki
ss
youLi
na"hesaidsof
lty
"andIwantyoutowant
metoo"

Everyaspectofhi sbody -hi

sl i
ps,hi shands, his
scentsuddenl yov er power edme. If eltwarm.I
want edhi mt oki ssmewi thev eryounceofmy
being.Ther ewasnot hi
ngi nl i
feIwant edmor e
thant hatkisst hatmoment .Itil
tedmyf aceup
towar dshis,andhel eaneddown.Icoul d
practicall
ytastehi slips."Doy ouwantt o?"he
askedashewasal mostnearmyl ips, Icould
actuallyfeelhisbr eathing.OfcauseIwant ed
to,
ever yt
hingar oundmehadbl urred. .
"yes"I
saidbr eathl
essl y.Hi sfacemov edcl oser,his
mout honl yabr eathawayf rom mi ne.Wewer e
so,socl oseandt hent hedoorcr ackopent hat
webot hlooked.I twasEdwar d...
.
Embar r
assmentf l
ashedonhi sf aceashe
start
edr etreating.Imov edawayabi t..
Me:
hmmmm.
..
Spha:
hmmm?
Heaskedey
eingmewi
thamusement
..
.

"
Hmmm"
Thet hi
rdhmmm hadn' tcomef rom eitherofus, I
turnedagainonl ytofoundt hatEdwar ddi dn'tgo,
hewasst andingtheresmi l
ingli
kear etard.I
separatedfrom SphaandIwal kedt ot hedoor
withoutlookingbackandmademywayout
thenwentst raighttomyr oom leav i
ngEdwar d
ont hedoorst il
lsmil
ing.Ithrewmy selfont he
bedandj ustwonder edifEdwar dhadn' tshown
upwhatcoul dhav epossiblyhappened.If el
tmy
cheeksbur nandIknewIwasbl ushingov erthe
thoughtofwhatwoul dhav ehappenedi f
Edwar ddidn'tcome.Iwant edt osnapoutofi t
butitwasj usthard,t
hedr eamyhazewasst il
l
t
her
e..
..
.
.
.
.
.
LaterthatdayIwast ryi
ngt ocook
dinner,
Edwar dhadl ongl eft.AsIwasbusywi th
thepot atoesIf eltey esonme.Iknewi twas
him,thewayhi sey eshadsomuchef fectonme
though!Idi dn'twantt ot urnbecausei twas
quiteobv ioushewasst arringandIf el
tunease.
Itri
edoccupy ingmymi ndbyt hi
nki
ngonhowI
wasgoi ngtohandl edadwhenIar ri
vedhome.I
want edt omov eout ,Imeani tsforthebestto
avoidmor efightingandst uff.ForPeace'ssake
i
tsf orthebest .It r
iedt hinkingaboutt heschool
wor kIhadt ocat chupt hatIhadl ostinaweek,
butIcoul dst i
llfeelhi sey esbur nmyski n.I
turnedandhewasl ooki ng. .
.hewassmi l
ing.
..
Me:
what
?

Iaskedwanti
ngtoknowwhyhewas
star
ri
ng.
.buthej
ustshookhisheadi
ndicat
ing
i
tsnothi
ng.Hewasgoodl ooki
ngnoli
eand
l
ookedmuchmor eattr
acti
vewhenhesmi l
ed.
Thatsmil
esurel
ygotmeweak.. .
.
.
.
Idon'tknowhowIsur viv
edt herestofthe
eveningbutIdid.Thef oll
owingdaywet ooka
mor ningfl
ight
.Wewer enowi nsomer est
aur
ant
tryi
ngt oeatbreakfast.Ididn'thavelotof
clothesandhedi dn'thav eany .
.It
riedeati
ng
butmyi nt
esti
nest wistedasIt houghtofmy
fatherandDebr a.Ijustfeltangry.
.
Hi
m:whyar
eyounoteat
ing?
Ir
aisedmyeyesfr
om myf
oodt
ohi
sface.He
l
ookedconcer
ned.
.

Hi
m:y
oust
il
langr
y?

Inodded,
ther
ewasnopointofl
yi
ngi
fhecoul
d
usehiseyestogetmet
ot al
k.

Hi
m:comel
et'
sgo.
..

Hesai dashecall
edthewaiterthenhepai dthe
bil
l,
tookmyhandt henwewentt ohiscar .He
droveustoadeser t
edbuil
ding.Wegott here
andgotinsi
de,t
herewereplates,gl
ass
cups,mugs.
..
andanol dcarandal otifmore
breakabl
estuf
f.Il
ookedathi m confused.
Me:
what
'
sthi
s?
Hi
m:doy
ouhav
eat
her
api
st?
Me:
yes,
Angel
..
.why
?
Him:cal
lherr
ightnowandt
ryt
osetan
appoint
menttoday.
..
Me:
she.
..

Hecutmeshor
t.
.

Hi
m:pl
easedoasIsay
..

Ihesi
tat
edbutt
hendi
dcal
lher
.Shet
ookt
ime
toanswer.
.

Me:
heyAngi
e,
it
smeLi
na.
.
Her
:Iknow.
..
.Iwaswor
ri
ed.
.Wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
canIseey
out
oday
?
Her
:yesIt
hinkam f
reei
n2hr
s..
.
Me:
OKam comi
ng.
..Seey
ou

Idi
dn'
twaitf
orhertor
espondsoIhungupt
hen
l
ookedatSpha.Hewasnowholdi
ngabasebal
l
bat
.Hehandeditt
ome..

Him:Iwanty outodamageev erything

here,
everyt
hing.Iwantyoutosuppr essyour
angerintothist
hings,
breakeverythingunti
lyou
aremor ecalm.Ilookedathim andhewas
seri
ous..

Hi
m:goahead.
.

Iwalkedovert
ot hecarandIt
ookadeepbr eat
h.
BeforeIknowitIwashitt
ingt
hecarmerci
lessl
y,
breaki
ngthewindows.Ismashedever
ythi
ngI
wasangr y,everythingthatev erhappenedt ome
j
ustcamei nmymi ndasIhi ttheglasses,plates
destr
oy i
ngev er yt
hing.Ibr oket hehouse
windows, ever ybreakablet hing.Aftersome
ti
meIt hrewmy sel
fdown, Iwast ir
ed. .
.bef
oreI
knowitIwasi nhisar mscr yinghar d.Hewasn' t
shushingme, hej ustheldmeasIcr iedhardin
hisarms.It hinkaf teranhourorsowewer e
nowdr iv
ingawayf rom thebui l
ding.Iwas
l
ookingout sidet hrought hecar 'swindowaswe
droveaway .

Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng.
..
Me:
l
ikeki
l
li
ngsomeone.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyoust
il
langr
y?
Me:
nott
hatmuchIguess.
..
Hi
m:y
ouwannabr
eaksomemor
ethi
ngs?
Me:no.
..
.Iwanttol
i
veanor
mal
li
fe,
Iam Ti
redof
bei
ngangry..
..
Hi
m:t
hat
'sast
artIguess.
..
Ij
ustnoddedandl
ookedoutt
hrought
he
wi
ndowagain..
.
.
.
.
.
Wewerenowdri
vi
ngatt
hehospi
tal
,Iwas
l
ooki
ngfor
war
dtomeeti
ngAngel
..
Hepar
kedatt
hepar
kingLot
t.

Hi
m:Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
ouher
e..
.
Me:
OK.
..

Heleanedandkissedmyforeheadbefor
eI
couldst
epoutofhiscar
..IwalkedtoAngel
's
off
iceandknockedacoupleoftimesbefor
ei
goti
nst
ruct
edtocomei
n..Shesmi
l
edt
he
momentIgoti
nandsat
.

Her
:Li
na,
howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
Alothashappened.
..
Her
:t
ell
meabouti
t.
..
Me:wel
l,
Ihadl
ostmymemor y
..
..Iact
ual
lyi
was
happywhenIdi
dn'
trememberanythi
ng.
.
Her
:Andwhyi
sthat
?
Me:
myhear
twasatpeace,
Ifel
tfr
ee.
..
Her
:andnow?
Me:nowIr
ememberandIfeelhurtal
lov
er
agai
nbutt
heonl
ygoodthingthatcameoutof
melosi
ngmymemoryisreall
yamazing.
.
Her
:mi
ndt
ell
i
ngmeabouti
t?
Me:it
sSpha.
..
Iknowourfir
stencount
erwasn'
t
thatmuchpl
easingbuti
li
kethewayt hi
ngs
havetur
nedout.
.
Her
:ar
eyouat
tr
act
edt
othi
sguy
?
Me:y
es,
Ij
ust.
..
Ithi
nkam i
nlov
e..
.Iknowi
ts
ki
ndaweir
dbut...
..
Her
:but
?
Me:Idon'tknow,
Ij
usthavet
hisf
eel
i
ngof
happinesswhenam withhi
m..
.
Her
:yourf
ather
?
Me:Ihaven'
tspokent
ohim,
am t
ryi
ngnott
obe
angrybutIj
ustcan'
t.
..
Her
:youcan'
torwon'
t?
Me:
Iwantt
obutIdon'
tknowhowt
o..
.
Her:
Ican'tpossi
blyt
elly
ouwhattodobut
maybey oujustneedtositdownwi
thy
our
f
atherandt al
k..
Me:
yeah.
..
am t
hinki
ngofmov
ingout
..
Her
:why
?
Me:
Ithi
nkIj
ustneedsomespace.
..
Her
:OK.
..
.t
ell
memor
eaboutSpha.
..
.
.
.
.
Iwasnowwalki
ngbackt othecaraf
teranhour
oft
alki
ngwi
thAngie,t
hatwasn'
tbadIthought
.
AssoonasIgoti
nt hecarhestar
tedit
..
.

Hi
m:howar
eyounowf
eel
i
ng?

Heaskedashedr
oveaway
..

Me:abi
tbet
ter
..
..
Iwanttomoveoutofmy
f
ather
shouse.
..
doyouthinki
tsabadi
dea?
Him:Idon'
tknow,
doy
out
hinky
ourf
atherwi
l
l
agree?
Me:Idon'
tknowbutIf
eel
li
keIj
ustneedsome
space.
..
Hi
m:wel
lIdon'
tknow,
howol
dar
eyouagai
n?
Me:
21
Hi
m:cany
out
akecar
eofy
our
sel
f?

Il
etoutasmal
lsof
tlaugh.
.

Me:
Ithi
nkso.
..
Hi
m:wel
lIdon'
tknowbutt
alkt
oyourdadf
ir
st.
..
.

.
.
Hedrov
eov ert
ohi
shousesoIcangetmycar
.
GoshImissedmycarsomuch.
..

Me:
Imi
ssedmycarandi
tscl
ean.
..
Isai
dasIwal
kedov
ert
oit
..

Hi
m:Ihadpeopl
ecl
eani
t.
..
Me:
thankshey
..
.
Hi
m:comeher
e..
.

Iwal
kedupt
ohi
m andst
oodi
nfr
ontofhi
m.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Hi
m:whydoy
oual
way
sassumesomet
hingi
s
wr
ong?

Ididn'
tknowwhatt osaysoIl ookeddown. .
he
ti
lt
edmyf acesoIl ookathi m.Hel eaneddown
atmeandwi t
hmyhear tbeatingfastIfel
tour
l
ipstouch.Hepr essedhislipsagainstmineand
softl
ybrushedthem ov ermine.Myf aceburnt
andIhadt hi
sunusual feel
ing.Hepul l
edme
muchcl osert hatourbodi estouchedt hen
separ atedmyl i
psandki ssedsof lty.Ifel
tmy
bloodr ush, Spha'skissandt ouchhel dgreat
forceandpowerov ermet hatgotmei nstant
ly
weak.If i
nal l
ygott hest r
engt htoki ssbackand
Ifoundmy selfcli
nchi nguntohi m.Iguesshe
reali
sedhi spowerov ermet henhepushedme
untilIwasagai nsthi scarandownedme.Iwas
l
osti nhi stouchandt hemomenthepul l
edout
hepr essedhi sli
psagai nstmyneckt hen
seduct i
v el
ywhi sper ed"thatwasn' thardasIhad
i
magi nedi tto..
.Godknowshowl ongIwas
wai t
ingf ort hat
"..
..Ihadl ostmysani ty
,GodIfel
t
soweakunderhi sspel landIdi dn'twanthimt o
stop....
nothi ngthatmomentmat tered,onl
yhim
andme. ...
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t16
.
.
.
.
Istoodi nfrontoft hedoorhav i
ngsecond
thoughtsonwhatIwasdoi ng,Iwantedt oturn
headsandgetbacki nmycar ,dri
veaway .Iwas
arguingwi t
hmyi nnersel fonwhatt odo.Iknow
Ihav etotalktomydadbutIwasn' treadyand
willprobablynev erwi l
lbe.Itookadeepbr eath
beforeIcoul dopent hedoorsl owly
.Igotinand
asIhadexpect edt heirey eswer eonme.Rel i
ef
brushedov erCr aig'sfaceandDebr a,asformy
dadasmi lecrept .Mymi ndracedbackt oSpha
asIwasst arti
ngt ogetangr y.Iwast ryi
ngt o
thi
nkofgoodt hingst oshadowwhatwas
exactlyburningmyhear tthatmoment .I
thoughtoft hekiss,howIdi dn'twanthi mto
stop,howhewant edt odr i
vemeher e.Hecar ed
aboutmeandIhadseenwor ryinhiseyesasI
droveaway .Washescar edImightchangemy
feel
ingstowardshim?Iknowal l t
hismayhave
happenedt oofastbutIdon'tt
hinkanythi
ngis
evergoingtostopwhat everIf
eel f
orhim.Who
wouldhav ethought?Il
ookedatt hem,nowthey
wereallsmi l
i
ng..
Mydadwalkedtowardsmewi
thsmi
l
e
pl
ast
eredonhisface.
.

Hi
m:ThankGody
ouar
eback.
..
.wewer
eso
wor
ri
ed

Hesai dashehuggedme, f
oramomentt hereI
fel
twhatIfeltwhenIwas10y ear
soldbutthe
feeli
ngimmedi at
elyv
arnishedasIthoughtof
whatwascur rentl
yhappening.Hepull
edout
afterawhil
e..
..

Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
am good

That
'st
heonl
yanswerhewasgoingto
get
,t
hat
'st
heanswerheal
waysgot.

Hi
m:am gl
ady
ouar
eback.
..

Iwasn'
tbutIj
ustfor
cedasmi l
e.Icoul
dtel
lhe
wasnervousbuthetr
iednotshowit.

Me:
Iwant
..
..
.canwet
alk?I
npr
ivat
e?
Hi
m:ofcause.
..
comeal
ong

Heledmet
ohisstudy,
wesatdown.Hesat
downonacouchnextt
ome.

Hi
m:Li
naIknowIhav
en'
tbeent
hebestf
atheri
n
thewor l
d,Iadmit.Iknowprobabl
ywhatIwill
saywon' tspi
nbackt hehandsofti
meormake
youfeelbetterbutam sorr
y.MeandDebr a.
..
.we
wil
ldivorceinfactwegoingtodiv
orce.Ihave
alr
eadyspokent omyl awyers.

Thatcaughtmeof fguar d,Iwasn'texpect ingit

.
Icaref ullynowl ookedathi m andIcoul dtell
thiswasbr eaki nghi m.2weeksagot hiswould
hav ebeent hebestnewsev erbutam notso
surenow.Ir ealisedIhav ebeenbl amingDebr a
formymot her '
sdeat hwhi leshepr acti
call
yhad
nothingt owi t
hi t.Iwasangr yonwhyGod
woul dt akemymot hersoear lythatIt ookitall
outonDebr a.Iadmi t,
Ialway stakeoutal lmy
frustrationsonherandIwassor ryand
apologet i
c.Iwant edt oapol ogisebutt hiswas
nott her ightt i
me.Iwant edtof i
ndmy self
becausel i
terallyIf eltlost.Imighthav enot
thoughtt hisasdoi ngi tformy selfbutIt hought
ofdoi ngi tsot hatSphahadanor mal par t
ner
notsomegi rl
withissues.I
twasquit
eobvious
thatdadlovedDebraandIwasn'taboutt
ohurt
him.Ifam happythenalsohedeserv
edtobe.

Me:
I..
..
..
.pl
easedon'
tgetdi
vor
ced.
.

Hewasn'texpect
ingitbecausehelookedatme
l
ikeIwashighorsomet hi
ngandei t
herdidI
expectmysel
ftosaysomet hingl
ikethat
.
Confusi
onwaswr it
tenalloverhi
sface.

Me:Idon'
tthi
nkit
sagoodi
deai
fyouandDebr
a
di
vorced,
pleasedon'
t.
.
Hi
m:butIal
way
sthought
..
..
Me:Iknow...I
..
..
Iknowit
sweirdcomi
ngf r
om
me,butifshemakesy ouhappywel
lthenam
good..
Hi
m:buty
ou'
veal
way
sbeensadbecause.
..
.
Me:IknowandIr eal
i
sedwhy .
..
Ihadorwas
bl
ami ngDebr aformom'sdeath,Idon'
tknow
butIhav ealwayshadafeeli
ngwewer eno
l
ongercl oseli
keweusedt obeforebutnowI
understandithasalway
sbeenmyf aul
t.I
admit,Ipushedyouaway.

Thatwasver
yhardsay
ing,
i
tdidn'
tsoundli
ke
meofcausebuti
twasthetrut
h.Ipushedhi
m
andever
yoneaway.

Hi
m:wow!
who.
..
.what
..
..

Hedi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
.

Me:
IknowIhavebeensuchapai n,
Ithought
maybeyoumov i
ngonwi thDebr
ameansy ouno
l
ongerl
ovedmom, If
eltl
ikeIwastheonlyone
whosti
l
lcaredaboutherbutyouwereright.
..
ThesoonerIregi
steri
nmythickskul
lthatshes
notcomingbackthebett
er.
..
.
Him:Idon'tknowwhatorhowt hi
shappened
butam gladwecant al
kwithoutf
ight
ingwit
h
eachother..
Me:
met
oo.
..
ummmht
her
ewasmor
ethi
ng.
.
Hi
m:whati
sit
?
Me:
don'
ttakei
tthewr
ongwayorany
thi
ng.
..

Iwantedtoaskort ellhi
m Iwanttomov eout
whenInowr eal
isedthatovert
hey earsIhave
beenselfi
sh,everyt
hinghasalway sbeenabout
meandev ennowIwasbei ngself
ish.Iknowmy
dadwoul dbreakifImov eout.
.butyethereIam
tr
yingtodot hi
ngsf ormyownbenef i
tand
advantage.

Hi
m:y
es?
?
Me:I.
..
..
..
Iwant
edt
osay
..
.umhham sor
ryf
or
bei
ng..

Hecutmeshor
t.
..

Hi
m:don'
tapol
ogize,
Ilov
eandt
hat
'
sal
lthat
matt
ershoney
..

Hesai dasheembr acedme.Ifeltaloadonmy

shouldersbei
ngremov edandIfeltf
ree.We
brokeitoffaf
terawhileandIt
ooknot iceof
teart
hatescaped.Hewi pedi
toffquicklybutI
hadalreadysawit.

Hi
m: Ihav
ebeenwait
ingfort
hisdayallmyl
if
e.
Am sureyourmom i
shappywherevershei
s..
.
Me:
yeah.
..
Ididn'tregr
etdoingthis,
Iactuall
ythankedGod
formaki ngmel osemymemor yandalso
maki ngmeandSphat oli
nk.Nowt hatam try
ing
tomakepeacewi t
hmydadIcanal sofocuson
rebuildi
ngmyl i
fewi t
hnohust les.
..
.
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
Ihadbeentryi
ngtocoverupont hewor kthatI
missedasIwasgone.Mymom hadcal l
eda
fewminutesaft
erLinawentalert
ingmet hat
shewascomi ng.She'
sgoingtofussandt hat'
s
obvi
ous.Ihadtoldheraboutthepersonalnurse
andevery
thingthedoctorhadsai
dandr eason
bei
ngmenotwant i
ngtogot owor kmuch
fasterbutIt ur nedt obebor ed.SoIguesst he
soonerIgetbusyt hebet ter.Iwasact uall
ygl ad
Iwasi nvol vedi nacaracci dentbecausei fI
hadn'tt henLi naandIcoul dnothav ehappened.
Am happyt hatIgotherbutseemsl ikeshehas
mor ei ssuest hanIhadt houghtofbut
regardl essIwi llhelpher.Shesbeaut iful,sexy
andal l butal soIknowt hatdeepdownshehas
agoodhear t.Ihadv owedt omy sel
ft hatIwas
goingt ohel pherbecomet hegoodper sonshe
i
s, comer ai
ncomet hunder ,
asIwasst i
lll
osti n
myt hought smyphoner angandi twasPhi l
ip,
mysmal lerbr ot her
.Wel linmyf amil
yi tsme, am
theol destf ollowedbyEdwar dt
henPhi li
p
whosecur r
ent lyinAmer ica, LA.Inev ergott he
clearr easononwhyhewant edtost udyt here
butifi tmadehi m happyt henwhywoul dI
possibl ywor ry.Unlikeall ofusPhi l
ipi sthequi te
one,thepeacemakeri nourf ami l
y.

Me:
Amer
icancheeseboy
!!
!
Hi
m:l
olmaf
uckenni
gga.
..
ssupdawg?
Me:
soy
oual
readycal
l
ingmedog?
???

Webusti
ntol
aught
er.
.
Me:
nunmuchf
li
ps?
Hi
m:sameol
dsameol
d..
.hear
dther
e'sagi
rl
..
?

Heasked.
..
.

Me:
youhear
dri
ght
..
.whot
oldy
ou?
Edwar
d?
Hi
m:Nah,
Numberonel
ady
..
Me:
mom coul
dn'
twai
tIsee.
.
Hi
m:whywoul
dshe?
sot
ell
mei
sshebeaut
if
ul?
Me:
Idon'
trecal
lmy
sel
fev
erdat
ingugl
ygi
rl
s..
.

Wel
aughed.
..
Him:
wellyouusual
l
ydat
ewhor
esandsl
uts.
..
.or
gol
ddiggers.
..
Me:
wel
lthi
sti
mei
t'
sdi
ff
erent
..
..
Him:Iheard.
..
soam comi
ngt
hiscomi
ng
hol
iday..
.
Me:
goodt
hing.
.
Hi
m:wel
lbutnotal
one.
..
.am comi
ngwi
thmy
gi
rl
..
Me:
whi
teassgi
rl
?
Hi
m:l
oly
es.
..
.andsheshel
enuv
abeaut
if
ul.
..
.
Me:
wel
lcomewi
thher
,Iwannaseeher
..
Him:
wellsayhi
etot
hatdweebyoucal
l
Edi
ewido.
..
.byt
hewaywhere'
she?
Me:
Idon'
tknowbutpr
obabl
yhi
tt
ingi
tri
ghtt
his
moment.
..
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y,
thatpussyl
over
..
..
wil
ltal
kay
t..
Me:
yeah.
.

Withthathehungup, Iwasf ascinatedbyt he

thoughtofhim marryingawhi t
eassgi r
l.Asmy
mindwasdr ift
ingbackt oLinat hedoorbust
openwi t
htheQueenher selfmakingherwayi n
andmaki nghersel
fcomf or
table.Mymom was
i
nhermi d40'sbutl ookedlikeshewasi nher
l
ate20's.Shewasbeaut i
fulandgr ewmor eand
mor ebeauti
fulbytheday .Shewasl ov
able,and
GodknewhowmuchIl ovedher .

Her
:am sohappyt
oseey
oubaby
..
Me:
met
oomom
Her
:wel
lsowher
e'st
hatgi
rl
?
Me:
herhousepr
obabl
y.
.
Her
:youf
athersay
sheknowsherf
ather
..
Me:
ohhIsee.
..
sohowhav
eyoubeen?
Her
:wel
lgoodnowthatIseey
ouaregood.
.wel
l
t
hat'
snotther
easonwhyam her
e..
.
Me:
yeah?
Her
:yes,
Ihav
ehi
redy
ouaper
sonal
nur
se.
..
Me:
butIt
houghtweagr
eedIdon'
tneedone.
..
Her
:j
ustt
obesaf
ebaby
..
..
.
Me:
okkwher
e'sheorshe?
Her
:OKl
etmegogether
..
.

Shedisappearedsomewheret
hencameback
wit
hthebi ggestshockofmyl
i
fe.Icoul
dn'
t
bel
ieveit
,Mymom hadwentandhi r
edmyex
gi
rl
fri
endasmynur se.

Mom:ummhBabythi
sisKar
eny
ournur
seand
Kar
iel
ovet
hismysonSpha.
.
Kar
en:
Nicet
omeety
ouSi
r.
.
Iwast
ungt
ied,
Iwasn'
texpect
ingt
his.

Mom:well
am l
eav
ingnow,
Kar
enwi
l
lst
art
t
oday
...
Me:
what
?
Mom:yesbaby,
shesgoi
ngtohel
py our
ecover
andbythewaypleasei
nvi
tet
hatLovel
ygi
rlof
your
sovernextt
imeIcome..
.

Shesai
dbeforel
eav
ingmewi
thKar
enwhowas
nowsmili
ng.Damni
tmom!
Icur
sedundermybr
eat
h..
.

Kar
en:
hieSpha

Ij
ustl
ookedatherl
ostofwor
dst
oev
ensay
..
.
Am sureLi
nawon'teventhi
nktwiceon
dumpingmyasswhenshef i
ndsoutthatmyEx
i
smynur se.AndwhenIwast hi
nkingever
ythi
ng
i
sgoingwellthi
shappens!!
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwasnowi nmyr oom. .
.hadthoughtever
ythi
ng
overbutst i
ll
IwasAngr ywithPhi
lipandIwasn'
t
planningonf orgi
vinghi m anyt
imesoon.Hehad
donemuchdamageandIwasn' tjustgoi
ngto
l
eti tpass,
soasi wasi nmyr oom planwasIcal
l
Sphabutwhati fam bei ngforwardbuthehad
toldmet ocal l
aftertalkingtomydadsomay be
i
tsact uall
ynotabadi dea..
Itookmyphoneandcal
l
edhi
m,hesur
elyt
ook
ti
met oanswer
..
.

Hi
m:hey
,ev
ery
thi
ngwentwel
l
?
Me:wel
lyesIguess,
butam nol
ongermov
ing
out
..
.
Hi
m:her
efused?
Me:no,
butIt
houghtabouti
tandr
eal
i
sedi
twas
abadidea.
..
Hi
m:ohhIsee,
wel
lam gl
adev
ery
thi
ngwentwel
l
Me:
met
oo,
Ifeel
muchbet
ter
..
.howar
eyou?
Hi
m:am good.
..
Me:
arey
ousur
e?wantmet
ocomeov
er?
Hi
m:no.
..
noam goodummhIhav
esomet
hing
t
otel
lyou.
..
Me:
ohhwhat
?
Hi
m:u!
mmmhmymom.
..
sor
tofhi
redanur
se
f
orme..
Me:
that
'sgr
eathey
,nowIcanr
elax
...
..
Hi
!:
wel
lIhat
eli
esandsecr
etssoam j
ustgoi
ng
t
osayi
t..
.

Iwasget
ti
ngscar
edbyt
hemoment
..
..

Hi
m: I.
..
well
thenurseismyExbutdon'
twor
ry
am gett
ingr
idifherf
ast.
.

OK,
thatwasunexpect
ed.Hi
sEx?

Me:
youmeany
ourExi
syournur
se?
Hi
m:y
esandam get
ti
ngr
idofherr
ightnow.
..
.

Idon'
tknowbutIf
elti
nsecur
ethatmoment
.I
don'
twantt
olosehi
m whenIj
ustf
oundhi
m..
.

Me:
wel
lasy
oudot
hatam onmywayt
her
e..
.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
am comi
ngov
er.
..

Ij
ustfeltl
ikeIneededtomakesur ehegetsrid
ofher,
IknowEx' sandtheirst
ori
es.Iwasn'
t
goi
ngl osehim oversomewhor e.It
rusthi
m but
notthatExofhis.Callmeparanoidbutaft
era
l
ongt i
meIact uall
yfeelhappyandIwasn't
abouttoletanyonetakethatawayfrom me..
.
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed
#I
nser
t17
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
Me:
l
eav
emyhouseKar
en!
!

IsayasIwal
kbackinmyst udyandshe's
seat
edther
ewithaninnocentf
acebutGod
knowsthedi
rt
yselfbehi
ndthatinnocentf
ace.
.

Me:
l
eav
emyhouse.
..
Her
:whatdoesshehav
ethatIdon'
t?
Ibety
ou
neverl
ovedme. .
..
..
.Wer
ey ouhappywhenIl
ost
thebaby?OurbabySpha!!

Trustt
hiswhor etoalway strytoemot i
onal
bl
ackmai lmeev eryti
me.Kar eni snotthefir
st
gi
rlIhaveev erdatedbutsheact sl i
keshe'sthe
onlyone.She,outofallpeopleknowt hatIdon'
t
dowellwi t
hemot ionalbl
ackmai l.IhaveEx's
andIhav elovedthem atsomepoi ntbutthe
minuteIbrokeupwi t
hthem t hatwast he
minuteIchosenotgi veaf uck.

Me:
Kar
enpl
easel
eav
e..
.

Thisbi
tchthinksammabeghert oleavemy
house.Shemustbesmoki ng,
Iwal
kedov ert
o
mydeskandcal l
edBen,mysecuri
tyguy.Iwas
ti
redofbeingnice..
..Peopl
eli
keKarenl
ike
doingthi
ngst hehardway .
Me:Bencanyoupl
easecomet
omyst udy
,I
needyoutohel
pmewi t
hsomet
hing.

Isayal lt
hisbef oreIhungup, t
hemomentIt urn
Kareni sstill
st andingther
eonl ydiff
erencet his
ti
mear oundi st hatshe'
sonl yinherli
nger i
e.
Thisgi r
lsomet imes,sheain'tgatnor espectfor
herselfandGodknowsImi ghtaswel lfuckher
butt hatwillnotmeanIwantusbackt ogether,
it
willbeonlysexandsexonl y.Iam nott he
cheat i
ngty peandIwi l
lnevercheatespeci ally
onLi na.IloveherandIknowi tsabitt oosoon
tosaysobutGodknowsIl ov eher.Nott obea
pervetbutKar enmi ghtbelookingsexynowbut
Lina'sbodyi st odieforthereforegivi
ngMeno
reasont ocheat .

Me:Sher
especthersel
f,t
hat'
swhatshehast
hat
youdon'
t.Nowifyoudon'tmind,
putony
our
cl
othesbef
oreBengetsher
e.Ibel
i
evey
oudon'
t
wanthimtoseeyoul
ikethi
s..
..

IsayasImov ebacktomychai randsitdown.

ThemomentIsi tt
here'
sal r
eadyaknock.I
l
ookedatKarenwhost il
l st
oodt here.
..
.Idon'
t
knowwhatshewasexpect ing.Kar enwasonce
pregnantwi
thmychi l
ddur i
ngourt imebutwe
thenlat
erbr
okeupandt hef actthatsheal ways
bri
ngsitupannoyme.Shedr essedupt hen
tookherbagfrom t
hefloor.

Me:
youmaycomei
nBen.
.

ThedooropenedandBengoti
n..

Me:
Benpl
easehelpMsRichar
dsher
egether
wayt
othegat
e,sheseemstohav
eforgot
ten
t
heway.
Isaywit
hmyat t
enti
ononKar
en.Shestar
ted
walki
ngoutbutst
oppedwhenshereachedthe
door.
.

Her:
Ilov
eyouSphaandIknowyoudot oo,
I
knowwemi ghtnotbet
oget
herr
ightnowbutat
theendwewillbe.
.
Me:passbythehospit
alony
ourwayhome,
I
thi
nkyouarelosi
ngitandpl
easecl
oset
hedoor
onyourwayout !

ShewalkedoutwithBenbehindher
,somuch
dramathough.Ir
elaxedasnowIwasalone.
Wheredidmom ex actl
yfi
ndher?
?

Aft
erawhileofmetry
ingtocatchupwithwor
k
Ifi
nal
l
ydecidedtot
akeabr eak.Iwent
downstai
rsandj
ustwatchedTV.InmyheartI
hadbeenhopi ngthatLi
nacomesbutt hen
againIdidn'tknowifshewasser i
ouson
comingorwasj ustsayi
ngit.Iwasfal
li
nghard
forLinaandIcoul dfeeli
tinmyheart.AsIwas
sti
llt
ryi
ngt owat chTVIheardaknock.Partof
mehopedi twasherbutonl ytofi
ndoutthati
t'
s
Eri
c.

Me:
niggawhendi
dyoul
ear
ntoknock?

IaskedasIl
ethi
min.
.

Hi
m:wher
e'sbossLady
??
Me:
mom l
eftl
ongt
imeago.
..

Hewal
kedtomykit
chenandwenttomyf
ri
dge.
Tr
ustt
hisni
ggat
owipeoutmyfood.
..
Me:Ithi
nky oushoul
dstartcont
ri
but
ingon
buy
inggr oceri
esbecausethewayyouhammer
myf oodnigga..
.!
Hi
m:youmustbesmoki
ngwi
thy
ourass,
any
way
whatdi
dshewant?

Heaskedashetooksomef oodfr
om t
hef
ri
dge
andasixpackofbeer
,wal
kedbacktomyl
ivi
ng
room.

Me:
shebr
oughtmeapr
ivat
enur
se.
.
Hi
m: where'
sshe?Ni
ggaIhavealway
swant eda
pr
ivatenurse,
maybeyourmom canorgani
se
mesomesexynur seforme.
..
.
Me:
well
Iwishi
twassomesexynur
sebuti
t
wasKar
en.
.
Hi
m:what
??
me:
yep.
..
Isatbesi
deshi
m andtookoneofthe
beers,
openedi
tanddr
anksome...Hest
ood
ther
einshock.
.

Him:wtf
??Li
naisgoingtodumpyoumyni
gga
befor
eyouev enst
artdati
ng.
..
Me:
Ithr
ewherout
..
..
..
Him:
Good,don'
twor
ryIwi
l
lputt
hatbi
tchwer
e
she'
ssupposedt
obe..
.

Eri
cmightbeannoyi
ngIadmitandi
rr
it
ati
ngbut
somet
imesniggaisj
ustthebest
.

Him:NiggaNat
ti
ewentbacktoherst
upid
boyfr
iendwhocaresabouthi
sst
epsist
ermor
e
thanher..
.
Me:
whatwer
eyouexpect
ing?Mar
ri
age?
IaskasIsi
pmybeer
..
.

Him:
nahIdon'
tdocommi
tment
s,butshewasa
goodfuck.
.
Me:I
fyouwer
en'
tmyf
ri
endIwoul
dsayy
ou
hav
eAids.
.
Hi
m:f
uck!
!!
niggaIdon'
thi
titr
aw.
..Ikeepi
tsaf
e.
Me:Goodf
oryou,Iwoul
dhat
eiti
fyouwakeup
onedaywi
thakidwhohasAids.
.

Hecr
acksupsohar
d..
.

Him:
mxm Idon'
tdobabymamas,noki
ds.
..
.and
besi
desPumper
sareexpensi
ve.
..
Me:
l
ol.
..
.y
ouwi
l
lnev
ergetmar
ri
ed.
..
Hi
m:Iwasn'
tpl
anni
ngt
o,byt
hewaywhenl
ast
di
dyouhavesomepussy .
..
..
becauseofyou
l
ooki
ngforseri
ousthi
ngslooktodayyou
l
acki
ngsome...
..
youneedtocum bruh.
..
.some
cl
imaxwoulddoyougood

TrustEri
ctobeirrit
ati
nglikenow.
..
.Iwasabout
tosaysomet hi
ngwhenIhear daknock.Er i
c
stoodupandwentf ori
t.
..Hewassur elytaki
ng
histi
mebutt henhecameback, wit
hLi na
behindher.Iwantedtojumpupanddownwi t
h
j
oybutIjustsmi l
ed.Mybabywasl ooki ng
beauti
fulasalways.

Me:
babe.
..

Isai
dasIwal
kedupt
oher..
.ThatmomentI
real
i
zedhowmuchIl
oveherandIdidn'
twantt
o
l
oseher.
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwasn'
tjokingwhenIsai
dIhadtomakesur e
hereal
lydidgetr
idofher
.Iwasn'tabouttobe
pushedoverbysomeEx.Iwasn'texpecti
ngto
seeEri
cbutIguesstheyhav
east rongbond.

Me:
hey
..
..

Isaidashehuggedme,hewaswarm andI
wishedforthehugt
olastf
orev
er.Hepul
ledout
aft
erawhi l
e..
Hi
m:It
houghty
ouwer
ejoki
ng.
..
Me:
wel
lIhadt
omakesur
e..
Hi
m:don'
ttr
ustme?
Me:
IdobutIdon'
ttr
usty
ourEx.
..
.

Hechuckl
edsof
tl
y.
..Thenl
edmet
oacouch
wer
eIsatbesi
deshim.

Hi
m:wel
lIdi
dgetr
idofher
..
.
Me:
Ihopeshegott
hemessage.
..
.
Er
ic:
i
fshedi
dn'
tIwi
l
lmakesur
eshedoesLi
l
i.
..

Er
icsai
dashethrewsomel aysinhi
smout h.
Hewassurr
oundedbysomef ood,nodoubthe
wasgoi
ngtofi
nishi
tall
alone...

Er
ic:
Themat
chi
sst
art
ing.
..
.
Hesai dashei ncr easedt hev ol
umeandgav e
theTVal lhisat tention.Isnuggl edmybody
closelynextt oSphas.SomehowIf el tsaf ei
n
hisar ms, mymi ndf eltfreewhenIwasar ound
him.Iwoul df eel happyandf reewi thoutany
hur temot i
oncr eepi ngi nme.Idon' tknowwhat
thef utur
ehol dsf ormeandSphabutal lIknow
i
st hatIwanthi mt obewi t hmei nthel ongr un.I
mi ghtnotbet hebestper sonoutt her eIadmi t
butam wi l
lingt ochangeandl etgoofmy
dreadf ulpast .Ihadl efthomei nahur r
yt hatI
didn'thav etimet oexpl aint odadwer eIwas
goingbutonl yst uckt o" Iam comi ng"bef ore
headi ngout .It ookadeepbr eathasIl ayedmy
headonSphaschestandj ustr elaxed.
Moment sl ateri foundmy selflaughi ngathow
Ericwasact i
ng, onecoul dpossi blyswearhe
wast hecouch.
.
.
.
Iopenedmyey esonl ytofi
ndoutt hatam on
somebedandcov eredinablanket.Icertainly
fel
twar mt hatIwant edt ogobackt osleepbut
wasf orcedt owakeupasIr eali
zedt he
darknesst hatwasout si
de.Iwalkedoutoft he
bedroom t hatIbeli
ev edtobeSpha' sandwent
downstai r
swhi lecheckingthehouseout ...It
wassobeaut if
ul Imustsay ,
moret hanthe
previ
oushouse.Iwal kedunti
lIgotinthe
kit
chen.Iwasf eeli
ngt hi
rst
ysoIhel pedmy self
withwat er.

"Youar eawake"av oi
cesaidandImaynot
knowany thi
ngbutIcan' tpossibl
ymisplacethat
voicef oranyt
hing.Iturnedaftercomposing
my selfandhest oodt herel
eaningagainstthe
wall,
lookingsexyandhandsomeasal way s.
.
Me:
'
youshoul
dhav
ewokenmeup.
..
Hi
m:y
oul
ookedpeacef
ul.
..
.Ior
der
edpi
zza.
Me:
SphaIhav
etogetbackhome.
.
Hi
m:noonesai
dyouai
n'
tgoi
ng,
onl
yaf
tereat
ing.
Me:
i
tsget
ti
ngl
ate,
Idon'
twantmydadt
otr
ip.
.
Hi
m:ifyoul
eav
ethenIwon'
teatordr
inkmy
meds..
.
Me:what?soy
ouwannagobackt ohospi
tal
becauseyoudidn'
ttakecar
eofy
oursel
fas
requi
red?
Hi
m:thenstayandeatwi
thme,
eit
hert
hatorI
st
arv
et oni
ght.
..

Hesaidashewal kedtome. .
..Trustme,hewas
star
ti
ngtobecomecr azy.
..Hecamecl osert
o
meandpushedmesl i
ghtlyuntil
mybodywas
agai
nstthewall
..
..
Mybr eathi
nghadal r
eady
changed.
.
Him:i
tsonl
yeati
ng,i
tsnotl
i
keam goi
ngt
odo
anyt
hingtoyou.
..

Hesaidashepr essedourbodiestoget
her
,my
ski
nburnt.Theeffecthehadonmewasso
str
ong.
..
thatIevenfeltvul
ner
able.

Hi
m:pl
easest
ay.
..

Hewhi sper
edsof lt
ybef oreourl i
psmet .He
ki
ssedmesl owl yyetsopassi onately.Hewas
dri
vingmecr azynodoubtandIwasn' t
complaini
ng.Suddenl yhepl acedmeont he
ki
tchencounternotbr eakingt hekissthough
andcamebet weenmyl egs.He'shandswer e
gi
vingoutshiverstomyspi nal wit
hev erytouch
hemadeandwi t
hev erytouchmybr eathing
becamesl i
ghtlyheavybutIdi dn'twanthi mt o
st
op.Thiswasn'tj
ustanykiss,i
twassomesort
ofconnecti
onthatIhaveneverexper
ienced
wit
hany oneanditfel
tgood.Wewer e
i
nterr
uptedbyaknock,Hepulledoutaft
era
whil
e..
.

Hi
m:mustbet
hepi
zza.
.

Hesai dbeforegoingfort
hedoor.Ifel
tabit
di
zzyasIt ri
edcat chi
ngmybreath.Icoul
dfeel
hi
slipsonmi ne,
Ithi
nkIam l
osi
ngmysani ty
wit
ht hisguy.Hehasmewonder i
ngifam st
il
l
nor
mal orwhatbecauseofthethingshemakes
mef eel.
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Lina'snewsel fcaughtmeof fguar d.Shewasn' t
theshott emper edLi naany mor eort heLina
whocoul dn'tev enputupaf akesmi l
e.Although
Iam happyshe' sact ual
lycomi ngar oundbut
somet hi
ngdoesn' tsitwellwithme.Forsome
hour sIhav edebat ingwi thmy selfonwhyt he
suddenchange.Apar tofmet oldmeshewas
datingSphabutanot hertoldmeot herwi se.
WhenIsawt hem t ogetheryest erdayitwas
muchev identont heconnect iont heyhad, I
couldseei tandf ort hefir
sttimesi ncef orever
therewasl ightinLi na'
sey es,
theywer ewar m
nott hecol dey esam usedt o.Shehaschanged
i
nagoodwaybutsomehowIhadwant edt obe
theonet ohel pherchangebutseemsl i
ke
someonehasal readydonei t
.Ibetshe' sat
Spha' shouset hismoment ,nodoubthemakes
herhappybutIhopehedoesn' thur ther
becauset histimear oundIdon' tthinkshecan
sur
viv
eit
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

I
tsabi
tshor
tthough.
..
.*f
orgi
veme*
.
.
#I
nser
t18
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwasnowsi t
ti
ngdownbet weenSpha'slegson
thefl
oorwhil
eweeat ingthepizza.Sphahad
mademest aybyper suadi
ngmei ntheworst
manner,
heknewhi spowerov ermeandhad
useditt
ohisownadv ant
age.Theenv i
ronment
wasjustsubt
lethatIwantedittostayli
kethat
for
ever.

Hi
m:soy
ougoi
ngt
oschool
tomor
row?
Me:
Ibel
i
eveso,i
t'
samont
hti
l
lexamssoIhav
e
t
opushup..
..
Him:
that
'sgr
eat
,al
lIwanti
swhat
'
sbestf
or
you.
.
Me:
andIr
eal
lyappr
eci
atey
ourconcer
n..
..I
t
meansal
ot
Hi
m:ar
eyousl
eepi
ngov
er?
Me:whatisi
tthaty
ouar
edr
inki
ngt
hatgoty
ou
t
hiscrazy
?
Hi
m:wel
li
t'
sthel
oveIhav
efory
ou.
..
Il
aughedshy
ly.
..AndIf
eltmycheeksbur
ning.
ThankGodiwasn'tf
aci
nghim.

Hi
m:babe?
Arey
oubl
ushi
ng?

Heaskedpull
ingmecl
osert
ohi
m butwi
thmy
backst
il
lfaci
nghi
m..
.

Me:
no.
..
.
Him:l
i
es..
..
butanyway
,t
omorrowifyouneed
anyt
hing,
anythi
ngatal
ldon'
thesi
tatet
ocallme
OK?
Me:
ain'
tyougoi
ngt
owor
k?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ljustpopi
nbutst
il
lcal
lok?
Me:
yesSi
r!
Hi
m:Li
nadoy
ouknowIl
ovey
ou.
..
.
Iwasn'texpect
inghi
mtosayt hat,
butIwas
overwhelmedheactual
lysai
dit.IknowImight
havemydoubt sbutIl
ovehim also,
somuchin
fact
.

Me:
Idon'
t.
..
..
Him:wel
lIdo,
Ilov
eyousomuch.Iknowi
tst
oo
soonforsuchbutIr
eal
l
ylov
eyou.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
.
Him:andam goi ngtost
andbyyoursideallt
he
way ,
am notgoingtogiv
ey ouHeavenonearth
andam notpr omisi
nganythi
ngotherthannot
tohurtyouonpur posebutIwantyoutoknow
thatIl
ovey ousomuch.

Aft
ersayi
ngsuchhehel
dmecl osert
ohimfrom
behi
nd.GodknowshowlongIhavebeen
wait
ingf
orthat
.Hedi
dloveme,Icoul
dtel
lfr
om
hi
sey
esear
li
er.

Me:
Iloveyoutoosomuchbutit
stimeI
l
eav
e...
.Idon'
twantmyf
athert
odisownme.
..
Him:y
oucanjustsl
eepov
eram sur
ehewi
l
l
under
stand.
..
.
Me:l
ol.
..
..
whatdidyousayy
ouaresmoki
ng
agai
nthatgatyouacti
ngcr
azy
?
Hi
m:di
dyouj
ustsayam cr
azy
?

Heaskedi
nawhi
sper
..
.

Me:
yescan'
tyouseef
ory
our
sel
f.
..
?

BeforeIknewithewasalr
eadyont opofme
ti
ckli
ngmet hatIwasl
aughingsohard.Iev
en
fel
tli
kemyr i
bswantedtoexplode.
..
Me:
fi
ney
ounotcr
azySpha.
..
.
Hi
m:Spha?
?
Me:
babe.
..
..
Hi
m:t
hat
'smor
eli
kei
t.
..
.
Me:
youar
esomebul
l
y..
Hi
m:y
ourbul
l
y..
.

Hesaysasleansoverandweendureinakiss
withmelayi
ngdownont hefl
oorandhim on
topofme.Icandef
init
elynev
ergetenoughof
hiski
ssesonceam underhe'
sspel
l.
.
.
.
Wewerenowstandi
ngoutsi
debesi
desmycar
wi
thSphasul
ki
ngonmel eavi
ng.Tr
ustt
his
ni
ggat
oputashow.

Him:
Iwishy
oudi
dn'
thav
etogo,
Il
ovehav
ing
youar
ound.
.
Me:
sodoIbutIhav
etol
andhomebabe.
.
Hi
m:l
i
fei
sabi
tch!
Me:
IthoughtIwast
heonl
yonewhor
eal
i
zed.
..
.
Hi
m:OKt
hen,
canIseey
out
omor
row.
.?
Me:
yeahwhynot
..
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lpi
cky
ouupf
rom school
,
howi
sthat
?
Me:
i
tsok,
Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ng.
.

Ipeckhisli
psonemor et
imebef oredr
ivi
ng
away.Onmywayhomeal lIwast hi
nki
ngwasa
goodexplanati
onthatIwil
lgivedadonwhyam
arr
ivi
ngthisl
ate.Somehow, somewhatIwasa
bi
tscared.Ihaveneverdonet hi
sbeforeI
al
way smakesur ethatam homebef or
e
2100hrsbutnowit
salr
eady2250hrs.It
akea
si
lentpray
erasIpul
lupbythegate.
.
.
.
Ij
ustsatinmycart
hinki
nghar
donwhatIwas
goingtosayt
oDaduntil
myphoner
ang.I
twas
Craig.

Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:comeoni
n,
ever
yonehaswentt
obed.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Him:
yep..
..
butt
omorr
owy
ou'
vegotsome
expl
aini
ngtodo.
..
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
..
..
..
Him:
comei
nbef
oret
heywakeup.
..
don'
tmake
noi
se.
..
Afterthathehungup.It ookadeepbr eath
beforeIgoti nt hehouse.Indeedev eryonewas
sleepi
ngsoIj ustt i
ptoedtomyr oom silent
ly.
Themi nuteIcl osedt hedoorIt ookaheav ysi
gh
ofreli
ef.Itookof fmycl ot
hes,didn'
tev en
changet omyPj '
sandj ustsl
ept.AsIwas
drif
ti
ngt osleepmyphonedeci dedt obeabi t
ch
andr i
ngdistur bingme.Iwasst arti
ngt oget
madonwhocal l
sthistimeoftheni ghtuntilI
reali
zeditwasSpha.

Me:
hey
..
..
Hi
m:howmucht
roubl
edi
dyougeti
n?
Me:therent
swer
esl
eepi
ngsonott
oomuchI
guess..
.
Hi
m:ok,
didy
ouar
ri
vesaf
elyt
hough?
Me:
yes,pl
easedon'
tfor
gett
otakey
ourmeds
t
omorrow..
.
Hi
m:Iwon'
t,
l
etmel
eav
eyout
osl
eepLi
l
i.
..

Il
etoutsof
tgi
ggl
esnotmaki
ngt
oomuch
noi
se.
..

Me:i
fonlyy
ouknewhowmuchIr
esentt
hatpet
name..
..
Hi
m:i
tscut
e..
.
Me:l
olni
gganah!
ther
e'snot
hingcut
eaboutt
hat
name..
..
Hi
m:oksnuggl
est
hen.
..
..
Me:
soundsl
i
ke.
..
..

Hecutmeshor
t.
..
.

Hi
m:l
ookLinaIl
oveyounowsl eep.Iknowyou
ar
egi
ftedf
orargui
ng.
..
.butpl
easesnuggles.
..
.
Me:
fi
ne!Il
ovey
out
ooby
e..
..
Hi
m:by
e..

Ihungupaf t
ert hat.IsweartoGodIsl eptin
smi l
es.Thef oll
owingdayIwokeupabi tearly,
hadt opreparef orschool.I
twasabi tcol d,
no
notabi tbutitwascol dsoIputonmywhi t
e
wrippedskinj ean,mywhi t
eboot s,
whitel ong
sl
eev ebodyt op,whi t
eJacketandawhi t
ewool
hat.Idon'tknowwhyIchoset owearal lwhite
butIreall
ydidl ookgood.Iputonabi tofmake
upandsomedar kredt omaroonlipstickandI
l
ookedgoodt ogo.Ipackedev er
ythi
ngofmi ne
i
nmybagandheadeddownst air
swher eIfound
everyoneseat ed.

Me:
mor
ning.
.

Isai
dasIsatdown.
Dad:
mor
ningLi
na.
..
.
Debr
a:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulbyt
heway
..
.
Me:thanky
ou..
..UmmhCr
aigcany
oudr
opme
atschoolt
oday?
Cr
aig:
ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ongwi
thy
ourcar
?
Me:t
here'
snot
hingwrongwi
thi
tory
ou
dr
oppingmeatschool.
..
.
Hi
m:ok,
thenhur
ryup.I
'
m aboutt
oleav
e..
..
.
.
Am replyi
ngtoSpha'stextasCrai
gisdr
ivi
ngt
o
school.If
eltt
hatCraigwantedtosay
somethingbuthewashesi tat
ing.

Me:
saywhaty
ouwannasay
..
..
Cr
aig:
Il
iket
henewy
ou.
..
Me:
met
oohey
..
..
Cr
aig:
soy
ouandSpha.
..
..
.
Me:
wewhat
?

Iknewwhathewant
edt
oaskbutIwant
edhi
m
tosayi
t.
..
.

Cr
aig:
arey
out
woacoupl
e?
Me:
yes.
.
Cr
aig:
wow,
youev
ensmi
l
ing.
..

Il
aughedabi
tatt
hatsent
ence.
..
.

Hi
m:am happyf
ory
ou.
..
Me:
am happyf
ormy
sel
ftoo.
.
Him:i
fhehurt
syouammashowhim whatthe
nursefor
gott
otel
lhi
m whenhewasborn.
..
Il
aughedhar
datt
hat
.

Me:
ok.
..
.Si
rCr
aig.
.
Him:am gl
adhemakesy ouhappy,
ther
e's
nothi
ngmor eIwantot
herthanseei
ngyou
happy.
.
.
.
.
Bef
oreIknowi
twear
eal
readyatt
hepar
king
Lot
t.

Me:
thanxhey
..
.
Hi
m:any
time.
..
.

Igotof
fHi
scarandst
art
edwal
ki
ngi
nsi
det
he
varsi
tywhenIsawLloydmakinghi
swaytome.
Itookadeepbreat
hashenowwasi nf
rontof
meandIst i
ll
fel
tli
ketheear
thshoul
dswallow
met hatmoment.
..

Hi
m:wel
lwel
lwel
l
...
andl
ookwhoseher
e..
.
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
Iwasdonepr epari
ng,wantedtojustpopinat
workandseehowt hingsaregoing.
Runningan
i
nsurancecompanyai n'
tnosugerandhoney.
It
sactual
lyharderthanwhatcanev erbe
i
maginedbutam sur emyt eam didjustwel
li
n
myabsence.Somet imesgoi ngtoworki snota
prett
ybadt hi
ngsoIdr ovetowor kinmy2016
Chevroletconvertt
e206.Ipul l
edupatt he
parki
ngl ottandwalkedinside.Am notthetype
ofpersonwhodr essesupi nsuitswhengoing
towor k.Iwearmycasual cl
othesallt
het i
me
andDadknowst hattoowellthatam notthe
suit
ski ndaperson.Iwalkedinsidethe
buil
ding...
.

"Morni
ngSpha"myrecept
ioni
stsai
d.WellIhate
bei
ngaddressedasMrZwelani
,Ir
atherst
ickto
myname.Tohel l
wit
hunnecessaryfor
malit
ies.
..

Me:
mor
ningPear
l

IsayasIpassbytherecept
ionandgetinthe
l
ift
.ThemomentIgetinmyof f
iceIsi
tdownon
mychairandlookout
sideusingthegl
asswall
whi
chenablesmyof
fi
cet
ohav
eagoodv
iewt
o
t
hebusycit
y .

Er
ic:
andhedeci
dest
oshowup!

Hesaysbehindme,Iknowitsitshi
m.Noone
hasascrat
chyv oi
ceMor ethanThisni
gga.Eri
c
i
souraccountant,
he'
saper manentemployee
butmycompanyi snottheonlycompanyhe
worksf
or.It
urnedmychai rtolookathi
m...

Me:
yeahwel
lam j
ustchecki
ngont
hings.
..
Hi
m:good.
..
sowhenar
ewehi
tt
ingt
hecl
ub?
Me:
dudei
tsMondayi
ncasey
oudon'
treal
i
ze.
..
.
Hi
m:sowhat
?
Me:
Igi
veup.
..
.
Aswewerest
il
ltal
ki
ngPear
l,t
her
ecept
ioni
st
showedupwi
thcoff
ee.
..

Her:
Ihopeam notdist
urbi
ngany
thi
ng,
Ihav
e
br
oughtyoucoffeeSpha..

Shesay
sasshewal
ksupt
omeandpl
acesi
t
onmydesk.
..
.
Er
ic:
whataboutme?

Pear
ljustl
etoutasmal
ll
aughasshewal
ked
out

Er
oc:
nooneev
erdoest
hatf
orme.
..
Me:
Ican'
thepy
ouont
hatonet
oobad.
Hi
m:l
olshel
i
kesy
ou,
.
..
.
Me:
who?
Hi
m:Pear
l.
..
Me:
whateverbutmainli
neIdon'
t.
..
soshemi
ght
aswel
lstopli
kingme..
Hi
m:l
ol.
..
suchabunery
ouar
e..
..
Me:
Il
ikei
tst
rai
ghtandf
orwar
d..
.
.
.
IspentthewholedaywithEri
c..
..
.Doi
ng
practi
call
ynot
hing.Wewer est
il
lchi
ll
i
nginmy
offi
cewhenKer i
ndecidedtoshowupwith
Pearlrunni
ngbehindher.

Pear
l:
am sosor
rySi
rbutshef
orcedherway
i
n..
..
Me:
Eri
cdealwi
thher
,am goi
ngt
opi
ckLi
naup
f
orl
unch.
..
.

IspokeasIwal
kedoutl
eav
ingt
hem t
her
e,I
don'
thav
eti
mef
ort
hatshi
t.
.
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Todaywasoneoft helongestdayIhav eever
had.It houghtIwoul dcomebackandf i
ndtoo
muchwor kt
ocat chuponbuti tseemsl i
kethey
didn'tdot hatmuch.Theywer echoosing
hospi talstodotheirat
tachmentat .Wellmine
wasal readysorted.Withafatherli
kemi nesuch
thingsar esortedoutaut omatical
l
y.Iwasnow
wal kingt owhereSphasai dhewoul dwai tf
or
me. ..
.WhenLl oyddeci
dedt oshowupagai nin
myf ace.Thisniggasur el
ydoesn'tgetti
red.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
Lloy
d..
..
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
fi
ne
Hi
m:wannacat
chl
unch?
Me:
no
Hi
m:ok,
dinner
?mov
ie?
Me:
no
Hi
m:Li
nacomeon.
..
Me:
no
Him:
atl
easty
ouai
n'
trude.
..
..
.whathappenedt
o
you?
Me:Ihavebeentryi
ngtobeni cebutIseeyou
don'
tliket
hat.
..
.Mov eyourassIdon'thav
ethe
energytoent
ertai
nyou..
.
Hi
m:wel
lonl
yononecondi
ti
on.
..
Me:
fucky
ouandy
ourcondi
ti
on.I
fyouknow
what
'sgoodf
ory
ouy
ouwi
l
ldi
sappear
..
.

Ihi
ssedal
readymad,
thi
sni
ggai
stest
ingmy
pat
ient
s.

Hi
m:wellsi
ncey
oudon'
twantt
ocooper
ate
t
hen.
..
..
.

Hegotcutshor
tbySpha.
..
.

Spha:
anypr
obl
em her
e?

Imovedmyey estomeethis,andhewasinhis
carwhichwasbesi desmeandLl oy
d.IguessI
wassopi ssedthatIcoul
dn'
tev ent
akenoteon
what'
sgoi ngoninmyenv i
ronment.
Me:
thankGody
ouar
eher
e..
..

IsayasIgeti
nhi
scarleavi
ngLl
oydstandi
ng
ther
e.ThemomentIgetinhi
scarSphadri
ves
away..
..
.

Hi
m:hey
..
.
Me:
hi.
..
.
Hi
m:whowast
hat
?
Me:
ther
easonwhyIhat
eschool
.
..
Hi
m:don'
tl
ethi
m gett
oyou.
.
Me:Iwi
l
ltr
ynextt
ime.
..
.any
wayhowwasy
our
day
?
Him:
wellmuchbett
erthatam wi
thy
ou
now.
..
didyoumissoutonalot?
Me:
no,
Idi
dn'
t.Howar
ethi
ngsatwor
k?
Hi
m:st
il
li
ngoodshapeIbel
i
eve.
..
..
.Iwanna
t
akey
ousomewher
e..
Me:
now?
Him:y
es,somespeci
alr
est
orantaf
ewmet
ers
outoftown.
.
Me:
i
tsf
ar?
Hi
m:notwi
thmycar
..
..

Ichuckl
ed

Me:
ok,
sur
pri
seme.
.

Hesmil
edatmeashet
ookmyhandandsof
tl
y
ki
ssedi
t.
..

Hi
m:y
oul
ookBeaut
if
ul..
..
.sexyt
obeexact
..
Me:
thanks,
butIknowhey
..
.
Hi
m:l
olnowy
ouar
ebei
ngf
orwar
d..
.
Hecont i
nueddr iv
ingt hereaswet alkedand
l
aughed.Iknowashesai dhe' snotpromi sing
anything,especiall
yheav enonear thbut
what everiti
sIf eelthecour ageandf ait
ht hat
wecanst andagai nstit.Everymi nuteIspend
wit
hhi m makesmef allmor einl
ov ewithhi m
andIdon' tregretit.Ihaveal l
owedhi mi nt
omy
heartandal lowedhi mt obr eakt hewal l
sIhad
buil
tmy sel
faroundandf r
ankl yIdon'tregretit.
Infactitmakesmehappyr atherthansadand
am sur emom i shappyf ormewher evershei s.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t19
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Icouldhav epossi blythoughtmay behewas
taki
ngmet osomer estaurant,wellt
hat '
sall I
thoughtorknewt obeexactaccor di
ngt ohi s
wordsbuthedi dn'ttakemet here.Het ookme
toaspaav erybeaut i
fulspawhi chal mostl ook
l
ikeahot el.Onf i
rstar ri
valIhadt houghtitwas
ahotelbutt henl at erreali
seditwasaspa.He
hadbookedmeandIwasr eall
ygr atefulforthat
.
Ihadaf ullbodymassage, apedi cureand
manicure.Itwassomuchr el
axingbutIf elt
ti
redafteritall.Iev enf el
lasleepdur ingthe
wholeor deal.Ihadt houghtmay bewewi llbe
gettingthebodymassagest ogetherbutthat
wasn' tthecasewi thhim becausehej ust
waitedf ormei nthecar .Iwon'tli
eIreall
y
enjoy editanditrel
axedmyt ensebody .AfterI
wasdonewi theveryt
hingIwal kedtothecar
eveni fmyl egsdidfeel abitwobblybutIcoul d
mai ntainbalance.Igotinthecarandhej ust
l
ookedatmesmi li
ng.

Hi
m:di
dyouenj
oy?
Me:
ver
ymucht
hanky
ouf
ordoi
ngt
his.
.
Hi
m:any
thi
ngt
orel
axy
ourt
ensebody
..
..

Ij
ustl
etoutachuckl
ebecausehonest
lyIdi
dn'
t
knowhowtoreacttot
hat.Hest
arteddri
vi
ng
awayback.
.

Me:howdidy
ouevenfi
ndthi
splace,
i
tlooks
hi
dden.
..
.Imeani
tsl
ocatedi
nthemiddleof
nowher
e..
.
Him:
well
ify
ouar
eSphasuchst
uffar
eeasyt
o
f
ind.
..

Hesai
dwi
thasmi
rk,
thi
sni
ggat
hough.

Me:
youf
eel
i
ngy
our
sel
fai
n'
tyou?
Him:
wel
lapar
tfr
om f
eel
i
ngy
ouy
es.
..
.butIf
eel
youmor
e.
Me:
ohhi
sthatso?
Hi
m: yes,
youhavebeaut
iful
eyes..
.Theyhave
t
hiscolouroft
heirownli
kethefir
ecolourand
whichaddstoyourpret
tyself
..
Me:
thanksbutni
ggawer
eyoust
udy
ingmyey
es?
Him:i
tsreal
lyhar
dsometimest
omi
ssout
beaut
ifult
hingsl
iket
hat
..
..
Hetookaquickglanceatmebef
orel
ooki
ng
backatt
heroad..
.

Hi
m:OKenoughwi
thshi
t.
..
..
sent
ences.
.
Me:
Iwasnowthi
nki
ngyouar
elosi
ngi
t.
..
.f
or
r
ealt
hist
imear
ound.
Him:don'tt
ellmet
hatdi
dn'
tev
enmov
e
you,
afteral
ltheef
for
tIput
!
Me:
notev
enabi
t.
..
.
Hi
m:andt
heny
ousaysomet
hingi
swr
ongwi
th
me.
..
Me:whatwer
eyouexpect
ingf
rom t
hatcor
ny
sent
ence?
Hi
m:f
ory
out
obedr
ippi
ngwetr
ightnow.
..
Me:
am bey
onddr
yfory
ourowni
nfo.
..
.

Hej
ustshookHisheadashedr
ove.Aft
ersome
t
imeoftr
yingt
oholdontomyseri
ousnessI
bustouti
nlaught
er.

Me:
am j
oki
ngbabe.
..
Hi
m: Iwonderwhatl
evel
isyourmental
di
sturbanceat
?youar
ecrazycut
eface.
..
Me:
crazyabouty
ou.
..

Hejustsmi ledashef ocusedont her oadhome

orhishouse.Af terawhi lewehadar ri
ved,
hegot
i
nhishousewi thmebehi ndhim.Het hen
suddenlystopped, Ihadbeenconf useduntil
I
sawt hereasonhehadf rozen.Isawmywor l
d
tur
ningupsi dedown, itcrushedt hatmoment
andhar d.Ihadbeenov ert heedgeandnowI
hadfall
enandnoonewasgoi ngtocat chme.
Therewer esexpi csallov erthehouse, some
evenpast edont hewal l
s.If el
ttear swetti
ngmy
cheekswhenIr eali
sedt hiswer emysexpi cs
becauseIseem t oappeari nal l
oft hem.I
couldn'tevenbri
ngmy sel
ft olookatSpha. .
.
Therewasadi scwr i
tt
enpl ayme, Hetookit
playedi t
.Ihadbeenhopi ngi twasn'
twhatI
thoughti twasbutitwas,itwasasext ape..
.My
sext apewi t
hPhili
p.GodknowsInev ert ooka
sexv ideo.Heturnedandl ookedatme, hewas
disgustedIcouldtell
.

Hi
m:andnow?
younowf
ucki
ngwi
thmybr
other
?

Idi
dn'
tunder
standwhathemeantandei
ther
coul
dIevenbri
ngmyselft
othi
nkabouti
t.
.

Me:
Phi
l
ipi
s..
..
..
y.
..
your.
..
..
bro.
..
ther
?

Iaskedasmyv
oicegr
ewmor
efai
nt.
.

Hi
m:y
oudi
sgustme
Me:
Icanexpl
ain.
..
Hi
m:,
expl
ainwhat?howy
oumakesext
apes?
Ar
eyouapornstar
?

Ishookmyheadast ear
sgusheddown,t
hat
momentIf el
tmysel
fcrushi
ngsohar
d,Ihadl
ost
him andt
hefeel
i
nghur t
..

Hi
m:getout
..
.
Me:
giv
e..
..
giv
e..
me.
..
a..
..
.ch.
.chancet
o..
..
Hi
m:f
uckengett
hef
uckoutLi
na.
..
Me:
babe.
.
Hi
m:don'
tyoudar
e!don'
tyoudar
ecal
lmet
hat
..
.

Iletmytearsdot hetal
kingbutheseemednot
tocare,
heclickedhistongueheadedout .Af
ter
awhi l
eIheardhiscardr i
veaway .It
hrewmy
bodyont hefloorandcriedbecausethat'
sallI
coul
ddo..
.Ihadl
osthi
m,myhappi
nesswas
gone.
..
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
.
Iwasj
ustrel
axi
ngwit
hNat t
ie,
wewerebondi
ng
aft
erf
ixi
ngthi
ngs.Wewerejustl
ayi
ngonher
bedasshetol
dmeallaboutherday
.

Her
:youknowbabeIf
eltdownt
oday
..
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:yeah.
..
li
kemybodymett
hegr
ound.
..
Icoul
dn'
thel
pmy
sel
fbutt
ocr
ackhar
d..

Hr
:i
tsnotev
enf
unny
..
.
Me:
whatexact
lyhappened?
Her
:wel
lIwasi
nar
ushbecause.
..
..

Hesent
encegoti
nter
rupt
edbymyphone
r
ingi
ng.

Her:
Real
l
yCr
aii
y?It
houghty
ouswi
tchedt
hat
of
f.
.
Me:
am sor
rymycooki
ebun.
..

Isai
dasIreachedoutfori
t,
themomentI
real
i
sedi
twasLi naIansweredal
most
i
mmediat
ely..
.
Me:
hey
..

Iwaswelcomedbyherpai
nful
cry,
Ican'
treal
l
y
expl
ainwhatIf
eltt
hatmoment.
..
.

Me:
Linawhat
'sgoi
ngon.
..
Her
:Spha.
..
.He.
..
he.
..
.I
..
Icoul
dn'
treal
l
ygetwhatshewassay
ing.
..

Me:
cal
m downLi
na.
..

Shecontinuedtocr
yanditbr
okemeev ery
second.Afterawhi
leIhadamalev
oice..
.

Hi
m:hel
l
o?
Me:
hicany
out
ell
mewhat
'
sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:wel
lam amer
esecur
it
yguar
d,Ihear
dcr
ies
andcamet ochecki
tout
.Thehousei
sfi
l
led
wit
hMi ssLi
na'
snakedpi
csandhersext
apeis
pl
aying.
..

Ial
mostfai
ntedthatmomentwhydoeshe
meansextape.
?

Me:
am comi
ng.
..

Af
terthatIhungupthr
ewmy sel
fdownand
st
art
edwear ingmyshoes.
..
..
.

Nat
ie:
andnow?
Me:
i
tsLi
naIneedt
ogo..
Her:
thi
sisourti
meCrai
g..
.whydoy
oual
way
s
chosethatwhor
eov
erme?
Idon'
tknowwhathappenedbutIf
oundmy
sel
f
sl
appi
nghersohard.

Me:
wat
chwhaty
ousay
..
.
Her
:soy
ouj
usthi
tmef
orher
?

Idi
dn'
thaveti
mef ort
his,
Irushedt
omycarand
spedatSpha'
sresi
dence.
..
.
.
.
Iwasnowsi t
ti
ngdownont hehospi
talbenches
withmyhear tbeati
nghardagai nstmychest .I
wast i
redf rom all
thepacingupanddown.Ihad
rushedov ertoSpha'shouseandt hecondit
ionI
foundLi nainkill
edmei nside.Thesexpics
weret here.Iwishtosayt hiswasapr ankbutit
wasr eal.Idrovehertothehospi t
alwhenIsaw
somet hingwr ongwi t
hherbr eathing.Bythe
momentwear r
ivedshewasqui teandIt hought
shewassl eepinguntilIt
riedwaki ngherup.I
panickedandr ushedherin.Istil
l don't
understandwhyt heyaret aki
ngsol ongand
withev erysecondIf eell
ikedying.Ist oodup
themi nuteIsawt hedoctorappr oaching.

Me:
i
sshegoi
ngt
obef
ine?
Doc:
Ican'
treal
l
ytel
l
,ihav
ebadnews.

Idi
dn'
tl
iket
hesoundoft
hat
..
..I
tmademesi
ck.

Doc:
apar
tfr
om anyt
hingel
seMissLinaVan
Geor
geissuf
fer
ingfr
om hear
tfai
l
ure..
.

IknewwhathemeantbutIst i
l
lhopedf
or
dif
fer
entexpl
anat
ion.Icoul
dn'
tbri
ngmysel
fto
i
t.
..
itcan'
t.

Doc:
herheartisfai
l
ingher,
wehavecal
ledi
na
hear
tdoctortotakealookathersot
hat
ever
ythi
ngcanbecl ear
..
.
Me:
i
ssheawake?
.
Doc:
she'
sresti
ngandalsobreat
hingwi
tht
he
ai
dofanart
if
ici
alr
espi
rator
..
.

Thatmomentitdownedtomet heseri
ousness
ofthemat
ter
,howherlif
ewasi ndanger.Isat
downasIabsorbedeveryt
hing.Ihadn'
ttol
dthe
fol
ks,
wher
ewasIt ostart
?

Me:
wil
lshesur
viv
eit
?
Hi
m:r
ightnowIdon'
tknow.
..

Thi
siswhatIdi
dn'
twannahear
,t
hiswast
he
painful
real
it
y,
blur
etrut
hIdi
dn'
twant
.Ifel
t
tearsgushi
ngout,
Icoul
dn'
thel
pit
.Whatis
happening?

.
.
.
TobeCont
inued.
..
.
.
[
06/
15,
18:
24]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t20

.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
Iwashur tIwon' tlie,
whatmadei tall
wor sewas
thef actt
hati twasPhi lip.Whatt heheckwas
shedoi ngwi thmybr other?ThemomentIdr ov
e
outIwentst raightt othebar ,
Ij
ustwant edto
drinkmypr oblemsaway ,
Ilovehersomuchand
i
tf uckenhur ts.Idi dntunder standany t
hing
any more, everythingwasamess.ThemomentI
goti nthebarIdr ankmyl i
feaway .Iwas
disturbedbymyphoner inging,i
twasEr i
c.

Me:
yes?
Hi
m:t
hef
uck?
wher
eyouat
?
Me:
am f
ucki
ngwhatdoy
out
hink?
Hi
m:Wher
ethef
uckar
eyou.
..
??
Me:r
elaxrel
ax.
..
.boy..
..Breat
h,cal
m downOK
j
ustchil
l.
.i
nhal
e..
.exhale.
.
Hi
m:Sphamandl
awher
ear
eyou?
Me:OKnowthat'
smorel
ikei
t,
am att
hebar
enj
oyi
ngmyselfwannaj
oinme?

Hethenhungup,
wellIdon'
tcar
e.Iputthe
phonebackinmypocketsandresumedonmy
dri
nki
ng.
..
dri
nki
ngmyl i
feawayforthatwhor
e,a
whoreIl
oved.
.
.
.
Iwasawakenupbyat hrobbingheadache.A
motherofal
lheadaches.ThemomentIopened
myey esIr
eal
isedIwassl eepingont hecouch.I
l
ookedaroundandi twasEr i
c'shouse.Probabl
y
hecamet omyr escue.Isatupstrai
ghtasI
l
ist
enedtotheheadache.God, consequencesof
dr
inki
ng.AsIwasst
il
lther
eEr
iccamewi
tha
smoothi
e..

Hi
m:dr
inkt
hatandy
ouwi
l
lfeel
bet
ter
..
.

Iputi
tov
ermynoseandi
tsmel
l
edl
i
kesewage.
.

Me:
whatt
hef
uck?
Hi
m:st
opbei
ngdr
amat
ic.
.

Ij
ustdr
ank,
i
tdi
dn'
tev
ent
ast
eni
ce.

Hi
m:OKnowexpl
ainwhathappened?
Me:
didy
oupassbymycr
iby
est
erday
?
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Me:
didy
ouseeany
thi
ng
Hi
m:nowhy
?
Ne:
shemusthav
eremov
edt
hem,
thatwhor
eis
f
ucki
ngwit
hPhil
ip.
.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
yes,
theyev
enmadeasext
ape.
..
Hi
m:shi
tthat
'smessedup,
whatdi
dshesay
?
Me:
Iwast
ooangr
ytol
i
sten.
..
Him:
wow!..
.maybeweshouldcal
lPhi
l
ipand
f
indoutwhatwentdown.
..
Me:
what
everam notcal
l
inghi
m..
..
Hi
m:OK.
.

Het
ookofHi
sPhoneandcal
l
edPhi
l
ip.
.

Er
ic:
Amer
icanboy
..
Phi
l
ip:
heyssup.
..
boy
?
Er
ic:
am goodummhIwannaasksomet
hing.
.
Phi
l
ip:
shoot
..
.
Er
ic:
Doy
ouknowagi
rlnamedLi
na?
Phi
li
p:y
eah.
..
..Agoodt
hingIoncehadbutt
hen
hadtogeti
tgo..
.
Er
ic:
whenwast
his?
Phi
l
ip:
bef
oreIl
eftf
orv
arsi
ty.
.
Er
ic:
arey
ouguy
sst
il
ltal
ki
ng?
Phil
ip:
Iwishbutshehatesme..
..Imighthave
fuckedherbutbecauseIl
ovedherthenIfound
outthatsomeonetookusav i
deosoIhadt o
breakupwithhertokeephersafe.
..
myf r
agil
e
babe..
Eri
c:
okkk.
..
.sofr
om t
heny
ouguy
shav
en'
t
communicated?
Phi
li
p:y
esbecauseImadeherbel i
eveInever
l
ovedherbutitwasallbecauseIl
ovedherso
muchandifthesextapelinkedi
twasgoingto
ki
ll
hermorethanwhatshewentt hroughwhen
webrokeup.
..
Er
ic:
doy
oust
il
ll
oveher
?
Phil
i
p: t
obehonesty es,
IlovehersomuchandI
won'tstopatanycost.
..She'
stheonl
ygirl
I
haveeverloveduncondit
ional
ly
.whyal
lthi
s
questi
ons?
Er
ic:
nahi
tsnot
hinghey
..
Phi
l
ip:
OKcool
gat
tabounce.
..

Andwi
tht
hatEr
icputdownt
hephone.

Hi
m:wow!
!It
hinkIneedabeer
..
.
Me:soshedoesn'
tknowt
hatmeandPhi
l
ipar
e
r
elat
ed?
Him:Ithinkso,lookit
snotherf aul
tI
guess...
may bey oushouldgi
veherachanceto
expl
ain..
.Bef or
ey oulosehertoherfi
rstl
ove.
..
Me:thatwi
l
lbethedayIdi
e..
..
.Ineedt
ofi
x
t
hingsandIhopeit
snottoolate.
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
.
Yesterdaywast hewor stdayinmyl ife,howI
wishtoj ustwakeupf rom thi
shor r
or.It oldthe
rentsyesterday,Dadev encri
ed.Itwasn' ta
pleasantsituat
ionthoughandLi nawasst i
ll
in
hospital
.Iwokeear li
erthanusual,prepar ed
my sel
fandwentt othehospital
.WhenIgot
thereshewasawakebutl ookedsodr ainedand
pale.Shet r
iedsmi l
i
ng..

Me:
hey
..
..
Her
:hey
yyy
..
.
Me:
howar
eyou?
Her
:am f
ine.
..

Iknewshewasn'
t,
thatwasal
i
e..
..Iknowit
makesmesoundsweakbutseei
ngl i
kethat
madeeyesmist
..
..

Her
:hey
yy,
don'
tcr
yOK?
am OK.
..
.
Me:
weal
lknowt
hat
'snott
rue.
..

Shej
ustl
ookeddown.
..
.

Her
:wher
e'sSpha?
Me:hav
en'
tar
ri
vedyet
,am sur
eheshoul
dbe
her
eanymoment..

Il
i
ed,
Idon'
tknowwher
ethef
uckhei
s..
..ButI
hadtol
ie.
..
Idi
dn'
twanthert
obr
eakmuch
more.
..

Her
:doy
out
hinkhewi
l
lfor
giv
eme?
Me:
yeshewi
l
l
Her
:buthesai
d..
..
.

Icoul
dsensesheWasst
art
ingt
ogetal
l
emoti
onal
..
..

Me:
hewi
ll
,hewasj
ustangr
yyest
erday
..
..You
t
oowoul
dhavebeenmad
Her
:yeahIguessy
ouar
eri
ght
..
Me:
Iknow.
..

Ileftaft
erawhi l
e.Ij
usthopethi
sSphaguy
forgivesherbecauseitseemsli
keshel
i
vesfor
him.Idrov
ebackhome,
didn'
tevenfeell
ike
schoolanymor
eandhowwoul dIconcentr
ate?
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Chancesar et hathehat esme,thatwasr eali
ty
andIwoul dn'tblamehi mi fhedid.Nodoubti t
wasPhi li
p..
..Iwasn' tsurebutIknewi twashi m.
TobehonestIwasf eeli
ngli
keam dy i
ng,If
elt
l
ikedeat hwaswai ti
ngf orme,butIhadt osort
somet hi
ngoutbef orethat.
..
Spha,Ineededhi m
toforgiv
emet henaf t
erhedoesIwi l
laccept
death.Iwasscar ed,Iwassoscar ed,Idi
dn't
wannadi e,noty etofcause.Isl ept,Iwas
exhaustedemot ionall
y..
.Andmybr ainwastired
becauseofov
ert
hinki
ngt
hings.
..
.
.
.
If
elteyesonme,theybur
ntmyski
n.Iopened
myey essl
owlyandIwasmetbyhis.Myheart
j
umpedwi thj
oywhenhesmi l
ed,i
shereal
?

Hi
m:am sor
ry.
..
Me:
am t
hesor
ryone.
..
Hi
m:noIam,Ipr
omisedt
ostandbyyouno
matt
erwhatbutIbr
oket
hepromise.
..
Me:
Iwoul
dhav
edonet
hesame.
.
Hi
m:Ilov
ey ou.
..
Ilov
eyousomuchandIdon'
t
wannahurtyou.
..
.
Me:Il
oveyoumor
e..
.Il
ovey
oumor
ethan
any
thing.
..
Him:Idon'
tcar
ewhathappenedbetweenyou
andPhili
pbutwhatIknowisam notgoi
ngto
stoplovi
ngyou.
..

Myheartfel
tatpeaceashesai
dal
loft
hat
,I
canf
inal
lybreat
hnow...

Him:aboutyourheart
,don'
tworryIal
readyhav
e
peoplefl
yi
nginsot heyexhaustthi
scase..
.

Ijustnoddedast earsofjoymadet hei

rway
out .
..Heleanedtomeandpossessedmy
l
ips....
"Imissedthis"hesai dinbet
weent he
ki
ssashewentonmehar d.Il
ovedever
y
mi nuteofit,
Idon'tknowwhatawai tsmeahead
butal lIknowiswi thouthi
m Iwon'tsurv
ive.
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t21
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
Iwassitti
ngi nmyst udywi t
hJacob.He'sa
heartdoctorandismyf r i
end.Hewast r
yingto
explai
ntheconditionthatLinaisintomebuti
sti
ll
didntunderstand.Allalongithoughtthat
may beheartproblemswer eonf atpeoplebut
seemsl i
kei hadital
l wrong.
Me:
what
scausi
ngherhear
tfai
l
ure?
Him:wel ly
ourgi lfr
iendseemst obehav ing
blockedat reri
esbutl ooki
ngatt hesituationit
hasnev erbeenapr obl
em putti
ngi ntoaccount
thatthishasnev erhappened.Soi guess
somet hingt r
iggureditthatmadeherbl ood
pumpmuchf asterthantheusual thenthe
bloodcoul dntgett hroughtheblockledar ter
ies.
Me:
sohowcanwer
etr
iev
ethesi
tuat
ion?
Hi
m:wel
lweshouldr
epairherv
alv
est
hatl
ett
he
bl
oodfl
oworrepl
acethem.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:weshoul
ddoahear
tval
vesur
ger
y..
.
Me:
i
sitsaf
e?
Hi
m:y
esi
tis.
..
.
Me:
howsooncani
thappen?
Hi
m:assoonasy
ouwantt
hought
her
ehast
o
beanappr
oval
ofapar
rent
.
Me:
mydadwi
l
ltal
ktoherdad.
..

Thiswassomemessedupsi tuati
onbuti had
hopef orher ,icouldntl oseherwheni j
ustf ound
her.Asmuchasi wast r
yingtogetaav er age
explanat i
ont oal lt
hi sdeepdownav oi
cet old
mei twasmyf ault
,ifi didntwal koutonhert hen
may beal lthiswoul dhav ebeenav oi
ded. Ev en
thought her ewast hissi tuati
oni nhandt hesex
tapest i
llbother edme, thef actthatherand
Phil
ipwer eonceati t
.Nowf oral l
iknow
someonehast hoset hingsandam scar edof
whatt heymaydowi tht hem.Thef ir
stsuspecti
hadi nmymi ndwasKar en,shehasal lthe
mot i
vet odosobutt henwer ecouldshehav e
gottent hesext apesf rom? Ormay beitwasone
ofLina'senemi es? Ital ldidntmakesensebut
onet hi
ngf orsur eisi fitwasKar enshebet ter
commi tsuicidebecauseGodDamni tamma
castrateherusel
essassandiaint
bluf
fing.She'
sgonetofarnow!!
Igr
abbedmycar
keyst henheadedout
,whoreneedstobeputi
n
herleash.
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Dadhasbeenher ealmosteachandev er
y
minuteofmybeingi nhospi tal.
Idi
dntmi ndbut
seeinghi
m breakli
ket hatwashur ti
ngme. The
doctorSphagotformeexami nedmey esterday
andt omyguessi t
hinkt heresgoingt obea
chanceonahear tsurgery.Spha'sdoctorseems
prett
ygoodsonodoubti willsurv
ivebutt el
l
thattomydad.Thepoorol dmant hi
nkst hatim
goi
ngt
odi
e.

Hi
m: i
fany
thinghappenst
oyouLi
nay
our
motherwi
llneverf
orgi
veme.
Me:
dadnot
hingwi
l
lhappent
omepl
ease.
.
Hi
m:i
canthel
pbei
ngwor
ri
ed.
..
Me:
ipr
omisei
wil
lbef
ine.
..
nowgohomeand
r
estabi
t.
.
Him:i
dontwantl
eav
eyouher
eal
one
sweethear
t.
.
Me:iwi
l
lbefi
neepl
easejust45mi
nut
est
hen
youcomebackhowisthat
?
Hi
m;ok.
..

Afterawhilehewasgone..t
odaywasasl ow
dayi dontknow,
may bemostlybecauseiam
j
ustsi t
ti
ngarounddoingnothi
ng.Asiwasst i
ll
tr
yingtojustrel
axsomeladycamei n,Tal
l
,Sexy
body,Darki
ncompl exionbutbeauti
fulwi
thl
ong
l
egs,plum l
i
psandal ongpontai
l.
Shelooked
Goddes.Shelookedatmehar dasshest oodby
thedaythengotin.

Her
:hel
l
o..
Me;
hi
Her
:Mynamei
sKar
en.
.
Me:
ok,
howcani
hel
pyouKar
en.
.
Her
:youseehun,am notabadpersonjustt
hati
hat
eitwhenitpeopl
et akewhat
smi ne..
.
Me:
idontf
oll
ow.
.
Her
:iknow,
butam her
etohel
pyou.
.
Me:
hel
pmewi
thwhat
?
Her:
yousee,yourl
it
tl
emov i
ey oudi dwit
hPhili
p
i
soutt her
e..
.andi
ttakesonlyami nisecondfor
i
ttobeal l
overint
erneti
faccidentall
yli
nkedbut
becausei,
carealotaboutyoui wontexpose
suchexpl
i
ctcont
ent.
..

Mybreathi
nghadalreadychanged,
iwas
conf
used.Whatdoesshewantf r
om me?wher
e
di
dshegett hem.
?

Me:
soy
out
heonet
hat
..
.
Her:
ohhy
es.
..
sonoowall
y ouhav
etodoi
s
l
ist
entomeandl
ist
encareful
l
y.

"it
hinky ouar et heonet hatneedst olist
enand
l
istencar efull
y "
av oicesaidandi knewi twas
him,mysal v aton.ThsKar encharact erturned
andal lthebol dnessshehadear l
ierv ani
shed
i
ntot hinair.Il
aidt hereasconf usiont ookplace
butical meddownasourey esmet .He
possesedmewi thhi seyesthatitshookmy
body,italway shappensandmyhear tbeatsfast
athispr esenseandt odaythehear tmoni tor
confi
rmedit.
Itsal
waysbetterifhedoesntknow
howweakhemakesmebutt odaythatwasnt
thecasewiththeheartmonitor.
Hejustlooked
atmet henbroketheeyecontactlooki
ngat
Karen.

Hi
m:ifidi
dntknowbet
teri
woul
dsayy
ouhav
e
adeathwish.
.
Her
:Spha.
..
Hi
m:butt
henagainiknowy
ou'
veal
way
swi
shed
f
orasoonerdeat
h..
Her
:il
ovey
oucanty
ousee?
Him:noal
liseei
sthaty
ourancest
ersar
e
cal
li
ngfor
ny ou.
.
t
heyneedy
ou.
Her
:l
ookather
,am mor
ebeaut
if
ult
hanher
..
Him:
ihatei
twhenpeopl
eupsether.
..
nowi t
hink
youwannagohomeandbondwi t
hy ourf
amili
y
anddontf
orgett
owr
it
eawi
l
l.
..
.

Bythetimehewasdonei coul
dsensehow
scaredshewasal r
eadyandthelookhewas
givi
nghery etsocalm wasthatoneenoughto
makey oupr epareyourownfuneral
thenkil
l
yoursel
f.
Kar entookherbagandhurriedout
fast
.Hiseyeswer eonmenow, makingmeweak
asalways..
.

Me:
what
?

Heshookhisheadindicat
ingit
snot hi
ngbutstil
l
keptt
hestai
r,
hewasmaki ngmeuncamf or
tabl
e
andheknewitbutsti
llwasntbacking.
Iletouta
small
laughtr
yingt
or ubffthediscamfortthat
tor
mentedme.

Me:
stopi
t.
..
Hi
m:am notdoi
ngany
thi
ngt
oyou.
.
Me:
stai
rr
ing.
.

myheadwasnowl ooki
ngdownwi thmyey es
focusedonmyfi
ngers,
idi
dnthearhim whenhe
walkedtomebutonl
yknewhewasnearmeas
heheldmyhandsandautomatical
l
yi l
ookedat
him.

Hi
m:am sor
ryaboutt
hatandev
ery
thi
ngel
se.
.
Me:
bit
terEX?
Hi
m:y
es,
ihopet
hisdoesntchangeany
thi
ng.
.
Me:
i
twoul
dntev
eni
fiwant
edi
tto.
.
Him:
thatsett
lesmyhear
t,
inev
erwantt
olose
you.
..
.andneverwi
l
li.
.
Me:
ki
ssme.
.
hedi dnthesi tateforami nute,hekissedmeand
ifeltmy selflosingitall tohi m. Hi
shandswer e
sofltycaessi ngmywai stbutt henmov edsl owly
tomyt high.Ifeltmy selfget tingwetwi t
heach
touch, hishandcr eptinsi demyhospi taldr ess
andwentst raighttomyv igana,Ididntst op
him,ev eni fi couldi couldnt .Hebr ushedi t
throughmypant i
esandi letoutasof t
mour n.Het henpul ledoutoft hekissandwent
tomyneck, hesof t
lykissedandbi t
e.Hishand
goti ntomypant i
esandsof tlyfastrubbedmy
cli
t..
hi slipswer enowonmychestandmy
mour nswer enowconst ant."ahhh" .
Wewer e
disturbedbysomeonecl ear i
ngt heirthroat s,i
t
wast hehospi taldoctorandSpha' s
doct or.Embar assmentbr ushedov ermyf aceas
ilookeddown, icouldntf acehi m.Sphaletouta
chuckl e.."iwillseey oul ater"hewhi spered
befor emov ingawayf r
om meandwal kingaway
andl iket hathewasgone. Iwassad, idi
dntwant
himt oleav e...thewayi wasf al
li
ngf orhim was
sodanger
ous,
iknewi
tbuti
didntwantt
ost
op.
..

Doc:
iseey
ouwer
eget
ti
ngbusyher
e..
.

i
laughedoutofembarassmentwhi
l
eSpha'
s
f
ri
endjustchuckl
ed.

Doc:
ibel
i
eveYoual
readymetJacobMar
lons
Li
na.
..
Me:
yeswedi
dmeet
..
Jacob:
inev
ert
ooki
nnot
icehowpr
ett
yyou
were.

i
justl
aughed.
.

Jacob:
wel
lwegoi
ngt
ohav
etor
epai
ryour
val
ves.
.
Me:
ifi
gur
ed.
.
Jacob:t
henallr
ight
,it
hinknowi
needt
ospeak
wit
hy ourf
ather
.
Me:
ofcause.
.
Hi
m:al
ri
ghtt
hen,
seey
ou.
.

Andwi ththatt heywal kedout.Isi

ghedt he
momentt heyleft,isti
llf
eltwetdownt hereandi
couldstll
f eelhiskisses.Butiwasscar ed,What
i
fthatKar engi rlexposeme? Iknowshest ryi
ng
togetmymanbackbuti fshet hi
nksam goi ng
toletupwi thoutaf i
ght,
shesgatanother ething
comi ng.
..
Def i
nitl
yi seeshedoesntknowme
well!
!
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
.
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t22
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
It
sbeenaweeksi ncet heoperati
onandher eI
am ,sti
l
linhospit
al.Thedoct orsorJacobt oat
l
eastsayi skeepi
ngmeher ef orobserv
ationbut
Ipersonall
yIdon'tseear easonwhyIshoul dbe
here.Beinginahospitalmakesmesi ckandI
j
ustcan'tstandit
.Iwasj usttryi
ngtowat cha
mov ieonmyphonewhenJacobwal kedin..
Me:
Am Igoi
nghomey
et?
Hi
m:y
our
eal
l
ywantt
oleav
ethi
spl
acedon'
tyou?
Me:
hospi
tal
ssi
ckensme,
pl
usIhav
eschool
.
Him:
wel
lIthi
nkyouarer
ecoveri
ngwel
landI
seenor
easontoprol
ongyourst
ay
Me:
saywhat
?ohhmywor
d!

ThiswasthebestnewsIhav eev
erheardthi
s
wholeweek,al
lIwantedwast ogohome.
Every
onehasbeent hereformeespeciall
y
Spha,hevi
sit
severydayandhasbeent he
boyfr
iendIneed.Ican'
treal
lycomplai
nbutto
behonesthospital
sarenotthebestplacest
o
be.

Me:
youdon'
tknowhowmuchyoujustmade
mehappy,
Ifeel
li
keki
ssi
ngy
ouri
ghtnow..
.
Hi
m:don'
tmi
ndi
fyoudo.
..
Me:
lolIdi
dn'
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
..
Imear
nt.
..
.Iwas
j
ust
..
.y
ouknow..
Hi
m:Igetit
..
.buty
oust
il
lneedt
ocomef
or
r
egul
archeckup..
Me:
yesofcause,
sowhenam Il
eav
ing?
Hi
m:t
odayort
omor
row.
.
Me:
pleasesayt
oday
..
..
pret
typl
easeee.
..
Hi
m:OKf
ine.
..
.t
heki
ss?

Il
etoutagi
ggl
e..

Me:
Jacob.
..
Voi
ce:
whatki
ss?

Idi
dn'
thav
etoact
ual
l
ylook,
Iknewi
twashi
m.I
l
ookedovertothedoorwithasmi l
eandhe
st
oodtherewit
hhisey ebr
owsraisedasifhei
s
awai
ti
ngforsomesor tofexpl
anation.

Jacob:
l
etmegowhenam st
il
lbr
eat
hing.
.

Hesaidashewalkedoutleav
ingmelaughi
ng.
Hedidaweirdhandshakewit
hSphabefore
complet
elyl
eavi
ng.

Hi
m:whatki
ss?
Me:
j
eal
ousai
ntwe?
Hi
m:noam j
ustconcer
ned.
.
Me:wel
lIseenor
easonf
ory
out
obeconcer
ned
Mr.Zwel
ani.
.
Him:am pl
easedt
oheart
hatMrsZwel
ani
,
go
changeandletmedr
opyou..
Me:
howdi
dyou.
..
.OK.
Thatwassomest upi
dquesti
on,am sur
eJacob
tol
dhim..Igotdownf r
om thebedandasI
att
emptedtowal khestoodinmywaybl ocki
ng
me..

Me:
mov
e..
Hi
m:noki
sst
oday
?
Me:
younev
erasked.
.

Hesof
lt
ychuckl
ed.
.

Hi
m:womanki
ssme!

Idi
dn'thesit
atebutwit
hmebei ngshortI
coul
dn'treachhim.Hechuckl
edagainashe
mademesi tonmybedandkissedmewhi leI
pushedhim closert
omebyhi sT-shi
rt
.Aftera
whil
eIpull
edoutbefor
ethi
ngsgotoutofhand
becauseIcoul
dfeel
hewasgetti
nghardbythe
second.

Me:
happynow?
Hi
m:notexact
lybutIwi
l
lbef
ine.
.

Isof l
tyl
aughedasIwentov ertomybagt hat
Craighadbr oughtfewsay sagowi thaf ew
clothes,
speaki ngofCraighe'sbeenact i
ng
strangel
ythel astf
ewday sanditbotheredme.I
wor emyblackski njeans,
anav yblueT-shir
t
withnavybluechuckTay l
orsandIl ookedgood
togo.Wewal kedoutoft heroom wi t
hSpha
behindme, Icouldfeelhiseyesonmyass. .

Hi
m:shi
tthatass!
!
Me:
l
oldon'
ttal
kaboutmyassl
i
ket
hat
..
Hi
m:t
hedayIwi
l
lTapet
hat
..

Hewhi st
led.Wegottot herecept
ionandhe
si
gnedmeout ,
bytheti
mehewasdoneIwasa
bi
tpissed.Therecept
ionistwasthrowing
her
selfatmyman.If eltli
kesnappingherthr
oat
,
i
ssheher etoworkorf i
ndpot ent
ialpar
tner
s?
West ar
tedwal
ki
ngt
ohiscarandIwas
consumedinmyownthought
s..

Hi
m:babey
ouOK?
Me:
huh?
..
.y
esam good
Hi
m:y
oul
ookangr
ytomebutst
il
lcut
e..
Me:
am notangr
y..
Hi
m:Idon'
tbuyt
hatbutOK

Wegottothecar,
andheopenedt
hedoorfor
me.Igoti
nandsodidhe.Westar
teddr
ivi
ng
home.
.

Him:
wannagr
absomet
hingbef
oreheadi
ng
home?
Me:
noam good.
.
Him:am gl
ady
ouar
erecov
eri
ng,youdon'
t
knowhowmuchIwasworr
iedaboutyou.
.
Me:
am al
sogl
ad,
Ihat
ehospi
tal
s..
Him:If
igur
ed,
hear
dyouwer
egi
vi
ngdoct
ors
hardti
me..
Me:
what
?Iwasn'
t
...

Hel
aughed

Hi
m:y
ouwer
e..
.
Me:
noIwasn'
t.
..
Youcoul dswearwehav ebeent ogetherfor
year sbutitsjustafewweeksi fnott wo.Inever
reallythoughtsuchadaywi llcomewer eIhave
tolov esomeonesobadl i
ket hismaki ngme
feel l
ikeIcan'tli
vewi t
houtt hem.Whatmade
memor ehappywast hatIhav en'theardnorsee
Kar enev ersincethatday .AfterSphat oldhe
wi l
ltakecar eofitIjustrelaxedbecauseIt r
ust
him.Aswewer esti
lldri
vingIr eceivedacall
from Edwar d.MeandEdwar dhav ekepti
n
cont acteversincethen.

Hi
m:Li
na
Me:
hey
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
?

Me:well
am goodinfactam get
ti
ngdi
schar
ged
orevenbet
teram onmywayhome. .
Hi
m:t
hat
'sgr
eat
,Ihat
ehospi
tal
s..
Me:
makesbot
hofus.
.
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
imi
ssy
out
oo.
.whydon'
tyouv
isi
t?
Hi
m:wi
tht
hatgr
umpyboy
fri
endofy
our
s?Hel
l
no
Me:
heydon'
ttal
kaboutmymanl
i
ket
hat
!
Hi
m:buty
ougatt
oadmi
thei
sgr
umpy
!!

Weendul
gedi
nlaughtert
ogetherrespondi
ngt
o
hi
sst
atement
,Edwardneverseizetoamazeme.

Me:
that
'snotni
ce
Hi
m:Iknowbuti
tst
het
rut
h
Me:
am notgoi
ngt
oli
stent
othi
sby
e..
Hi
m:by
e

Andwi
tht
hatIhungup.
Spha:
whatdoIhav et
odot
omakey
oust
ay
awayfrom Edwar
d?
Me:
excuseme?
Hi
m: howmanytimesshouldItel
lyouIdon'
t
wantyoubef
ri
endingmybrother?
Me:Idon'
tgetwhy
..
.i
tsnotl
i
keam f
ucki
nghi
m
orsomethi
ngli
ket
hat.

Hedi dn'
treplynoscr atchthathedi dn'
tsay
anythingforther estofthejourney.Idon'
tget
whyhedoesn' twantmet obef ri
endswi t
hhis
brotherhonestly.Therestoft hejourneywas
fi
ll
edwi thsil
enceandIr eal
lydidn'tl
ikei
t.We
arri
vedaf t
ersomet imeandhepar kedonour
Gate.

Me:
OKf
ineIwi
l
lst
opbei
ngf
ri
endswi
thEdwar
d
Hi
m:whi
chev
erway
Me:
arewef
ight
ing?
Hi
m:no

Il
eanedov ertohim andkissedhim,
herepli
ed
passionatelypull
ingmecl osert
ohim and
brushingmyt highsoflt
y.Ikepti
tupuntil
Ifelt
mybr eathseizure.

Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo.
..

Hear
inghi
m say
ingt
hatmel
tedmyhear
t,
it
mademehappy.

Me:
OKby
e
Isai
dasIgotoffhi
scarandwalkedinsi
de.
Gett
ingi
nsi
dethehouseitf
eltl
i
keIwasal one.
AsIwassti
lll
ooki
ngaroundatextcamein,i
t
wasSpha.I
tread

"
Sometimesyoureal
lydr
ivemeinsanethati
t
makesmefallmoreinl
ovewit
hy ou.
..Ir
eall
y
l
oveyourst
ubbornasssomuch"

Ismil
edatthat.
.Ial
sol
ovedhi
m withal
lmy
heart
.Icont
inuedsear
chi
ngforsomeonei
nsi
de
thehouse.

Me:
hel
l
o?any
bodyhome?

Ishout
edthi
sasIwalkedt
otheki
tchen.
.As
soonasIwalkedi
nIsawCrai
g.
Me:
hey
..
.It
houghtIwasal
one
Hi
m:am home,
whendi
dyougetdi
schar
ged?
Me:
todayact
ual
l
y
Hi
m:y
ourboy
fri
enddr
oppedy
ou?
Me:
yep.
.

Isai
dasIt
ookwat
erf
rom t
hef
ri
dge.
..

Hi
m:noof
fenseLi
nabutwhatdoy
ouseei
nhi
m?
Me:
excuseme?
Him:
Whatt heheckdoy ouseeinhi
m? he'
sthe
onethatl
andyouinhospitali
nthefi
rstpl
ace.
..
Can'
tyouseeheain'tgoodforyou?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m: hel
efty
outodi
einhishousebutyethe
cl
aimstolovey
ou.
..
whatkindofl
oveisthat
?
Me:
Crai
g..
..
wher
eist
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
Him:youknowwhatdoasyoupleasebutthat
guyisnotgoodfory
ou.I
tsonl
yamat terofti
me
unti
lhehurtsy
ouandIwil
lbetheret
ot el
lyou
thatItol
dyouso.

Thenhewalkedawayleavi
ngmeconf used,
whatj
uathappened?Whythesuddenhat eand
anger
?Idi
dn'tunder
standany
thi
ng..
.
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t23
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwassi ttingaroundthet ableeatingwi t
hmy
familydinner,wellnotexactlythewhol ef amil
y
becauseCr ai
gwasnoti n.Theywer eeat ing
whi l
eIjustplay edwithmyf ood,Iwasst i
llonmy
ownl it
tlewor l
dt hi
nkingonwhathappened
earli
er..
..Crai
g'sbehav i
orreallycaughtmeof f
guardandhi ssuddenangerr eal
lyleftadozen
ofquest ionsunanswer ed.Ididn'tevengeta
wor ddadsai duponmebei ngdischar gedearli
er
thanhehadt houghtandmenoti nf
ormi nghim
afterthat.

Debr
a:Li
naar
eyousur
eyouOK?

Sheaskedf
ort
hef
our
tht
imesi
nceIsatdown.
Me:am OK.
..
.j
ustt
hinki
ngabout
..
..
school
that
'
s
al
l
Dad:don'
tst
ressalotaboutt
hat
,youwi
l
lst
art
wit
hy ourat
tachmentaft
er2weeks.
.
Me:
2weeksi
sal
otdadhowaboutaweek.
..
Him:
am notar
gui
ngwithyouLi
naont
his
one.
..
2weeksandit
'sf
inal

Hesaidinafi
rmv oi
cewhichscr
eamed
author
it
yandIknewbett
erthantosetuponan
argument.

Me:okfine.
..
ummmhIt
hinkIwi
l
lcal
li
ta
ni
ght.
..
.goodnight

Isai
dstandi
ngup,Iwasn'tr
eal
lyf
eeli
ngthi
s
wholedi
nnerany
way .Icoul
dreal
lyusesome
sleepsot osl eepeveryt
hingov erormay beifI
talkwithSphaIwoul dfeelbet ter
.Iwal kedt o
thekitchen, placedmypl ateandheaded
upstairstomyr oom.ThemomentIgoti nsideI
stri
ppedof fmycl othesandt ookashower .I
stayedi nsidef oralmostanhour ,thencame
out..
afterwi pingallthewetf rom mybodyand
changedi ntomyPj '
sandl ayonmybed, ittook
about10mi nutesformet ot akemyphoneand
fi
nallytextSphaaf teralotofhesi tat
ion.Ican't
possiblyr eadhowmanydr aftsIhadwr i
tten
thener asedbutt henattheendi settl
edwi tha
"hi"

Iwai
tedforhi
mt orepl
yandwhenhef
inal
l
ydi
d
myheartski
pped.
.

"
Missmeal
ready
?"
"
Lol
don'
tfl
att
ery
oursel
f"

"Ok.
..
am sorryaboutear
li
er,
justthatIdon'
tfeel
comfort
ablewithyoubeingfri
endswi t
h
Edward.
..
.Iknowhe'sacharmer"

"
Mightbetr
uebutIl
ovey ouandy ouonl
ymore
t
hananythi
ngi
ntheworld..
.i
sthatenoughf
or
y
ounottofeel
comfort
able..
"

"
Mor
ethanenough.
..AndIl
ovey
oumor
e..
"

Ifelttear
ssti
ngmyey es,hisl
ovewasenoughto
makemecr ytear
sofj oy.SometimesIeven
forgetmyproblemswi thhim ar
ound.For
almostami nutether
eIhadf orgott
enmy
problems..
"
Arey
ouOKLi
na"

"
Yeah.
..
"

"
Ihat
elat
eresponse"

"
Sor
ry,
am j
ustget
ti
ngsl
eepy
"

"
Sleepyatsev
en?
"

Bef
oreIcoul
dev
enr
epl
yhecal
l
ed.
..

Hi
m:Li
na?
Me:
that
'smynamebabe
Him:Iknow.
..
.what
'
sgoi
ngon?
isev
ery
thi
ngOK
athome?
Me:
yes,
why
?
Hi
m:not
hing.
..
.wannasl
eepov
er?
Me:
what
?
Him:wannasleepov
er?
iwantyounextt
ome. .
.
Atleastt
hat
'swhenam sur
eyouaresafe.
..
Me:
butam saf
e..
Hi
m:Iknow.
.j
ustt
hatIwanty
ounearme.
.
Me:
youwantmet
osneakout
?
Hi
m:Iwon'
tdoany
thi
ngt
oyou
Me:
ummh.
..
Hi
m:pl
ease.
..
Me:
wel
lj
ustmakesur
eIdon'
tgetcaught
..
.

Ihaveneversneakoutofhomeatni ghtnor
sl
eepsomewher eelsewithoutdadknowing
besi
desmybedespeci all
ysleepi
ngonsome
guysbed.Itwasthefi
rstti
meandIwasscar ed,
mydadwouldl
iter
all
yslapmesohar dthatI
f
indmyassinJamaica!Butther
eisalwaysa
f
irstt
imef
orevery
thi
ngr i
ght
?
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
.
DidIpusht oohard? di
dIcr osstheboundar ies?
WasIwr ongt ocare?Thi swer ethequest i
ons
thatscreamedatt hebackofmyheadandI
couldn'tbringmy selft
oanswert hem.Am I
wr ongtocar eabouther ?Sphamandl ai
sknown
tobeapl ayer.
..
.whatifhepl aysmysi ster?I
've
seenhi mi nclubswel lbeforeLinahappened
butt hatdoesn'tchangeany t
hing.Washea
playerbef oreorafterLinathepoi ntst
il
l r
emai ns
plust heysayaLeopar dnev erchangesit'
s
spot s..
.WhywasIf eel i
ngliket hi
s?Theonl y
answerIcoul dpossi blycomeupwi thwas
"becauseLi naismysi sterandIcar ealotabout
her "butt hendidIr eallycaref orherthatl
oton
sisterl
ybase/ si
bli
ngbaseori twassomet hing
else.Iknewi twasn' tjustsibli
ngl oveIhadf or
herandal lt
hisyearsIhav ealway sdenieditand
todayIl ostmycool .SeeinghowmuchShe
l
ov esSphamandl abr okemyhear t.
.Am I
j
eal ous?Idi dn'twantt ol oveher ,
Ineverchose
tobecausei fIdi
dIwoul dpr obablycouldhav e
nev erchosenher !Iwasst ucki nast i
cky
situationandIdi dn'tknowhowt osav emy sel
f.
..
"Keept hem comi ng"
IsaidtothebartenderasIdr
ownedmy sel
fin
alcohol
..
.Atleastforacoupl
eofhour
sIwoul d
forgetmyproblems.

Atl
eastf
oracoupl
eofhour
sIwoul
dhav
ea
blankstat
eofmindandt hatwouldbebet t
er
thanthi
nkingofhowIl ovemyownsi st
erbut
thenShe'snotmysister.
...She'
sjustMy
mot her
sstepdaughter..
.Ihavenor el
ati
onwith
her..
Iwast r
yingtodealwit
hthi
swit
houtf
eel
i
ng
guil
tyandjustwait
ingfort
heal
cohol
tot
ake
over!
!
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwasnowlayi
ngonhi
sbedbesi
deshim
snuggl
edcl
osel
ytohi
m.Yes,
Idi
dsneakout
..
Hecamet opickmeup. .
.wait
edformeafew
housesawayfrom mine.
..ThankGodever
yone
hadgonet osl
eepbythen,ofcauseIdi
dwait
unti
ltheywenttosl
eep.

Hi
m:t
hisf
eel
sri
ght
..
Me:i
tdoes.
..
.Ij
usthopemydadnev
ercat
ches
on.
..
Him:don'
twor
ry.
..
.Ihavepl
annedev
ery
thi
ng
perf
ectl
y.
.Hewon'tknow
Me:
Itr
usty
ou
Hi
m:i
t'
samust
..
.sohowwasy
ourdayathome?
Me:t
heusual..
itwasok.
.(
Icoul
dn'tbr
ingmysel
f
tot
ellhim.
..
howwoul dI
?..
."
heybabemybrother
hat
esy ou"
..
Idon'twanthimtobeinv
olvedinmy
unnecessarydramat
hatalwaysfol
l
owme
around)
Hi
m:wel
lIcan'
tsayt
hesameaboutmi
ne.
..
.I
mi
ssedyou
Me:
wel
lam her
enow.
..
Hi
m:Imi
ssedmypr
oper
ty

Hesaidr
unninghishandonmythi
ghmaking
mybreat
hingpickup.Hi
shandwentupt
omy
l
ips.
.

Me:
ohhy
eah?
Hi
m:sobad
Me:
showmet
hen.
..

Hesof tl
ycar essedmyl i
pswit
hhi sbefore
kissi
ngme, themomenthecl aimedmyl ipsI
j
ustgotl ostinthekiss.I
twasn'tthefi
rstti
me
weki ssedbutev eryti
meweki sseditalways
feelsli
kethef ir
stti
me.Hewentf ormyneck
andki ssedasIl etoutamour n..
.myhor mones
wer eal readyal lov ert
hepl ace.Idon' tknow
howhemanagest omakemel osecont rolso
easi l
y .
.Ialway swanthi mt ohol dmet ightand
don' tletgo.Sl owl yheunbut tonedmyPJt op
andbecauseInev erwearabr awhenam
sleepi ngmyboobsj ustst oodt here,
nippleshar d
l
ongi ngf orhist ouch.Hemassagedt heot her
boobwi thhishandast heot herboobwas
alreadyi nhismout h.Icoul dnol ongercont rol
mymour ns.If el
tthissensat ionf lowall overmy
body .
."Spha"Isof t
lymut t
ered.Hi sli
psl eftmy
boobandki ssedmeal lovermyt ummyt omy
bellybut t
onandt omyv aginat houghIwasst i
ll
i
nmyPJpant s..
.Slowl yhet ookt hem of f
toget herwi t
hmypant i
es,If eltshyand
uncomf ortableashel ookedatmyVj ay.Bef oreI
knowi thi sheadwasbur i
edbet weenmyl egs
andIwasscr eami ngshi tIhav eneversai d
bef oreashei ndulgedmei nunspeakabl e
pleasur e...
.
.
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t24
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Itwasar ound4a. m andIwasl ayi
ngwi t
hhim on
hisbed, snuggledper fectl
yinhisarmsf ort
he
7ntht i
menowev ersince3weeksagowhenI
startedsneakingout .Iwassur et
hatthenight
heaskedmet osleepov erathishousewould
bet hef i
rstandlasttimeIwoul ddosuchbut
turnslikeitwasdef i
nat l
ynott helastt
ime
becauseIhav ebeendoi ngsomer egular
sneakingoutl ately.
..
.Iwasawakebutnotf ull
y
sureabouthi m, wellmaybey oumi ghtthi
nkt hat
wehav ebecomei nti
matebutnowehav en'
t ,
it
onlyendswi t
hhi m downonmeandt hat
'sthat!!
Thepastf ewweekshav ebeengr eatwell
exceptf orCraig..
..
he'savoidi
ngmeandt her e'
s
thi
st ensionbet weenust hatIdon'tli
ke..
.i
tfeels
l
ikewear estrangersandnott oment i
onthe
factthathecan' tstayformor ethan5mi nutes
i
nt hesamer oom asme, l
ikehecan'tjuststand
me. .
..Andi tbreaksmyhear t
.

Hi
m:y
ouawake?

Iwasabi
tstar
tl
ed,
Ithoughtmay
behewas
sl
eepi
ng.
..
.

Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
esl
eepi
ng.
..
.
Him:
Yes,Iwas.
..
butIcoul
dfeel
youwer
e
awake.
..

Ilookedupt ohisf ace,

hisey eswer eclosed.
..
.
Hel ookedhandsome. .
.Hewasv er
yv ery
handsomet hatsomet i
mesIf eelabitinsecur
e,I
stil
lcan'tbelievehe'smi ne!Notonl yi
she
handsomebutsosexy ..
.sov erysexyandHi s
tatt
oosmakesi tallbett
er..
.hehasal lthe
muscl esint herightplaces,Icouldprobablygo
alldayexpl aini
nghowhothei s.Iranmyhands
onhi stattoos..
.

Me:
whydi
dyougett
hist
att
oos?
Hi
m:Idon'
tthi
nkIhav
ear
easonabl
ereason.
..
.
Me:
youj
ustdi
ditf
orf
un?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
.
Me:
wow!
!ev
ent
hisone?
Isai
dtouchi
ngtheonet
hatwentov
ert
ohi
s
shoul
dertohi
sarm..

Hi
m:samer
easonf
ort
her
eastoft
hem:
;
forf
un.
..
Me:
Isee.
..
Spha?
Hi
m:Ir
eal
l
yli
kebabeorl
ovet
hanSpha.
..

Isof
lt
ylaughed.
.

Me:
okbabe?
Hi
m:y
es?

Ther
e'ssomethingthathasbeenbot her
ingme
l
atel
y,
andIf el
tli
keIneededtomakeSphahel p
meunderstandbutwithoutupsett
inghim.The
ti
meofthesext apeandpics..
.Ist
il
lremember
him sayingPhil
ipi
shisbr ot
herorsomet hing
l
ikethatbutam notexact l
ysureandIneedhi m
toclearitup.Agreatpartofmet houghtitwas
thewor stthi
ngIcouldeverdoandt heot her
partwant edtoknow..
.butthenwhatafter
knowing?Whati ftheyarebrother
s..
whatam I
goingtodo?

Me:
todayi
tsgoi
ngt
obemyf
ir
stdayatwor
k..
.

Itookaraincheckuponit
..
..
whatifhegets
upset?
orev enworsewhatiftheyar
ebrother
s?
Somethingtoldmet heywere,
Iknewtheywere
butIsti
lldeni
edit.
..

Him:andam pr
oudy ou'v
emadeitt
hisf
ar
babe..
.somepeopl
edr opout
..
Me:
Iknowandam pr
oudofmy
sel
ftoo.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouDoct
orZwel
ani
.
..
Me:
Il
ovey
out
ooMrZwel
ani
..

Isai
dasIpr
essedmybodymor
eunt
ohi
s..
..

Him:doy
ouknowwhatthefeel
ofy
ournaked
bodyonmedot ome?Theymakemefeell
ike
doi
nggoodthi
ngstoyou.
.

Iwasonlyinmypanti
es,
wel
lwhenIcameIwas
dressedful
lyf
romyPJtopt
omyPJpantsbut
heundressedmeleav
ingmeinmypanti
es
only.
..

Me:
goodst
uffhuh?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..

Hewhisper
edgentl
ysqui
zzingmyboobs..
.My
br
eat
hinghadal
readychanged.
..
heal
readyhad
meunderhi
sspel
l
..
.andonceam underi
t
t
her
e'snogoi
ngback..
.
.
.
Andher eIwas, i
nhi scarpackedat hecor nerof
myst r
eetaround6. .
.Ihav ebeendoi ngt hi
s...or
wel lIdothisev erytimeIsneakout ,Iwould
wearmyspor tsweart henr unf rom thestreet
cor nerunti
lhomeandpr etendl ikeIwast aking
ar un..
.Itworksper fect l
ybecauseev er
y one
buy sit.
..
.Butsomet hingal way shappenev ery
ti
meIr un..
.i
tstar t
edf rom hi ghschool .
..aft
er
runningadi stancemyv isionbecomebl ur,
Ifeel
dizzyandIl osebal ancet hati stumbleorev en
fall
..ThoughIdi dn'
ttellSpha, Idon'twanthi m
viewingmeasunf i
torsomet hingli
ket hat.
..

Hi
m:Iwi
l
lseey
oul
aterr
ight
?
Me:
yes,
butam notsl
eepi
ngov
ert
hough.
..
.
Him:
wewil
ltal
kaboutt
hat
..
.butaf
tery
ourshi
ft
popi
natwork.
.
Me:
Ok
Hi
m:f
ineIl
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo

Hepeckedmyl i
psbef oreIgotoffhiscarand
j
oggedhome, andasusual If
eltdizzy.
..
Iwas
al
r eadyusedt
oit..Istumbledmywayi nsi
dethe
house,IsawCrai
gl eaningagainstthewall
starri
ngatme..
.

Hi
m:j
oggi
ng?
Me:
yep
Hi
m:Iknowy
ouar
enotsl
eepi
ngathomel
atel
y
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:f
orgeti
t,
Ihopej
oggi
ngwasni
ce.
.

Hesaidbeforewalki
ngoutonme. ..
.Iwaslef
tin
confusi
on.
..Didheknowaboutmysneaki ng
around?Iwasabouttostressmyselfonthe
i
ssuewheni tfi
nal
lycl
ickedmymi ndthathim
knowingornotisnonofhisbusi
nessany way..
.
Imademywayt omyr oom...
Ineededtogetready.
.t
odaywasgoingt
obemy
fi
rstdayatmyat t
achment.
..
.Iwasgoi
ngtobe
studentdoct
orandGoddamnknowshowmuch
excit
edIwas...
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Aftert hatencount erwi thLinaIdr ovest r
aightto
Kar en'shouse, afewday soraweekbackshe
hadappr oachedmeaboutLi naandSpha' s
rel
at ionship.Shehasst atedoutt hef actson
howSphai snotgoodf ormysi st erandhow
muchIhat et hatrel
ationshipoft heirsthesame
wayshedi d...
fi
rstIdeniedbutt henshepushed
allrightbut tonsuntilIadmi tt
edandal soagr eed
tojoi nforceswi thhert obreakt hem apar t.I
hadagr eedbutnowIdon' treallyt hinkitsa
goodi dea,consideri
ngt hewayLi nal ovesSpha
probabl yshewi l
lcommi tsuici
dei ftheyhadt o
breakup.Idr ovestr
aightt oherpl ace.Iwasn' t
goingt obet heonet ocr ushLi na'sl i
feIwoul d
ratherhav eSphamandl adoi thimsel f!
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwasal r
eadydr i
vingt othehospit
al,Iwasgoing
tobewor kingatapr ivatehospit
al.
..Iwasabit
ner
v oustobehonest ..
.WhenIar r
ivedthereI
wasnowr eall
yner v
ousnotj ustabit.Iwal
ked
i
nside,wellIknowmywayar oundbecausedad
hadshowedmet hisot hert
ime.Igotinthen
walkedtot hereception..
.

Me:
hel
l
o
Her
:hi
,
welcometoMacf
oldsPr
ivat
ehospi
tal
howcanIhel
pyou?
Me:
ummham Li
na.
..
LinaVanG.
..
.

Idi
dn'tevengettof
ini
shmysent
ence,
shehad
al
readyinter
rupt
edme..
Her:
ohhhLina!
!Wehavebeenwai
ti
ngf
or
you,
ummhcomel etmetakeyout
owherey
ou
aresupposedt
obe..

Shecamef r
om behindherdeskthenwewal ked
tosomeoffi
ce,sheknockedthengoti
nwi t
hme
behi
ndher.Therewasamansi t
tedonthedesk,
amidfor
ti
est omyobser vat
ionandIfi
guredhe
i
sthemanager .
..

Recept
ioni
st:
ummhGoodmorningMrSel
maI
havebr
oughtourI
nter
nLi
naVanGeor
ge

Shesai
dpushi
ngmeabi
tupf
ront
..
.

Him:
ohhwel
lthankyouv
erymuch.
..
MsVan
Geor
gewel
come. .
Bythetimehewassay i
ngthatt
her ecept
ioni
st
wasalreadyl
eav
ing.
..ThoughIwishedshe
di
dn't
..

Me:
Thanky
ou
Hi
m:ummmh

Hewasgoingthroughpaper
sonhisdeskasi
f
hewassearchi
ngforsomethi
ng.
..

Hi
m:t
ake.
..

Hesai
dhandi
ngmesomepaper
s

Him:t
hat'
sourhospit
almapsoy oudon'
tget
l
ost,
yourti
metableonyourshi
ft
sandwel l
also
thedoct
oryouwillbeworki
ngwith,
doct
or
Simons.
..
he'saverygooddoct
orandam sure
youwill
lear
nal otfr
om him andohhsincey ou
areastudentdoctorandyouwi l
lbeworkingfor
usalsotheamountofy oursalar
yisi
nt hose
documentswritt
ensomewher e.
Me:
ok
Him:
MrSimonsof
fi
cei
sont
hemap.
..
youwi
l
l
f
indi
teasl
y
Me:
ofcause
Hi
m:hav
eal
ovel
ydayandgoodl
uck

Istoodupt henwalkedoutofhi sof fice,

that
didn'
tgobadatl east.
..
Ilookedatt hemap, i
t
wasr eallyeasytoreadandwi thinf ewmi nut
esI
wasst andi ngonthedoorwr it
tenDrSi monsi n
boldlett
er s..
whoam Ikidding,itwasr eal
lyhard
readingthemapt hatItookatleastabout
15mi nutest oal
locat
etheof fi
ce!Isi ghed
sil
entlyasIknockedont hedoor ,
thisi sit
.A
voiceinstructedmet ocomei n.Igoti n,
Iwas
expecti
ngtoseesomeol dmanbutactuall
yI
sawami dt
wenti
esguy,
looki
ngallbusyonthe
papersinfr
ontofhi
m..
hewasl ooki
nggoodt hat
Itooknumerousdeepbreat
hesbeforeIcould
openmymout htospeak..

Me:
goodmor
ningDoct
orSi
mons.
.

Byt
het
imeIwasdonehe'
sey
eswher
eonme.
..

Hi
m:ummmhLi
na?
Me:
cor
rect
Hi
m:ohhni
cet
omeety
ouLi
na.
..
Im Dani
el
Si
mons
Me:
nicet
omeety
oudoct
..
.

Hecutshor
tmysent
ence.
.
Hi
m:noy
oucanj
ustcal
lmeDani
elonl
y
Me:
OKni
cet
omeety
ouDani
el
Hi
m:Ok.
..
umhhl
etme.
..

Hesaiddi
ali
ngsomethi
ngonthetel
ephoneand
befor
eIknowithewasspeaki
ngtosomeone,I
l
ist
enedanditl
ookedli
kehewassummoni ng
someonetohisof
fi
ce..
.Af
terafewsecondshe
hungup.
..

Hi
m:ummht
aket
his.

Hesai
dhandi
ngmeawhi
tecoatandabadge
wi
thmyname..
.

Him:
youwil
lhav
etoweart
hatever
yti
meyou
come,
am sur
eyouhav
ealr
eadybeengi
vent
he
t
imet
abl
e..
Me:
yes
Hi
m:gr
eat

Therewasaknockont hedoort henhe

i
nstructedt heper
sont ocomei n,samewayhe
haddonef orme..
.Somegi rlwalkedin,
shewas
abittall
erthanme, andhadasl enderbody.
..
the
model stypeandbeaut i
ful
..
.Shewal kedupto
us

Her
:youcal
l
ed.
.
Dani
el:
ummht hisouri
nter
nLinaVanGeorge
ummhLi nat
hisanurseTanyaandTanyawil
l
showyouaroundthehospi
talr
ightnowbef
ore
westart
..
.
Me:
OK.
.
Tany
aledmeout
sidet
heof
fi
ce.
..

Her
:ummhi
tsni
cet
omeety
ou
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
..
Her
:sohowol
dar
eyou?

Sheaskedaswewal
ked.
.

Me:
21

Her
:wel
lam 24

Idi
dn'
tknowhowtor
espond,
Iam nott
he
soci
ali
stt
ype.
..

Her
:wi
l
lyoubel
i
evei
tifIt
oldy
ouDoct
or
Si
monsis25
Me:
yeah.
..
Iguessedt
hathedoesl
ooky
oung.
Her:
wellhe'
stheyoungestdoct
orapar
tfr
om
youofcauseinourhospit
al
Me:
Isee

Wewal kedar oundt hehospitalwit

hher
showingmear ound,wejusti ndul
gedinasmal
l
conversat
ionwel lshewast heonesupplyi
ngi
t
soitmadei teasyf orme...Sheshowedme
arounduntilwegott ot
her ecepti
onist
..

Her
:andt
hisi
sther
ecept
ion
Me:
thi
shospi
tal
isqui
etbi
g..
.
Her
:t
ell
meabouti
t

Asshewassay i
ngthatsomewhiteguywalked
i
n,
hewashotnott oli
e..
hishai
rali
tt
lebi
t
messedup,
pinkli
psandhadt he'
Iownthe
worl
d'kindofwalk..
hiseyeswer edarkblackto
navyblue.
..
hedidn'
tlooklikeadoct oror
someonewhowor kedaroundher eany way.
..
he
gottorecept
ionandunf or
t unat
elytherewasno
one.
..Tanyawalkedtorecept i
on..

Her
:wel
comet
oMacf
ol.
.

Shedi
dn'
tev
enf
ini
shhersent
ence.
.

Hi
m:wher
ethef
ucki
syourr
ecept
ioni
st?
Tany
a:ummhMrDr
ewshe.
..
.ummh
Hi
m:shewhat
?

Icoul
dseeTany awasoutofwords,
thisguy
wasinti
midat
ing.
..SoIdeci
dedt
ohel pherout
..
Me:shewenttot hel
ady
'sandwi
l
lbebacki
na
coupleofseconds

Hetur
nedtolookatmeandGoshhewasv
ery
i
nti
midat
ingbesi
deshi
m bei
nghot
.

Hi
m:andwhot
heheckwast
alki
ngt
oyou?

Atti
tudeIsee,
he'
sbusyt hr
owinghiswei
ght
aroundli
keheownst hehospital
andhewas
getti
ngmemadev enthoughItri
edtohol
dit
.

Me:i
tdoesn'
tmatt
eronwhoyouweretal
ki
ngt
o
whatmatter
sisIt
oldy
ouwhatyouasked.
.
Hi
m:andwhatar
eyou?
acl
eaner
?
Me:
whatIam i
snonofy
ourbusi
nessMr
Dr
ew..
..
Hejustl
ookedatmet hencl
i
ckedhi
stongue
goi
ng,t
hisnigganeedssomeoneputt
inghi
mi n
hi
splace.Tanyasighedheavi
ly

Her
:t
hanky
ouLi
na.
..
Me:
whoi
she?
Her
:somer
ichguywhosemot
heri
sher
e
Me:
andwhat
'supwi
tht
heat
ti
tude?
Her
:Jer
emyi
sli
ket
hat
?
Me:
he'
snamei
sJer
emy
?
Her:
yes.
..
thi
sguyi
ssoohotyetsointi
midati
ngI
al
mostpeedonmy sel
f.
..
wowy ouarethefi
rst
per
sontostanduptoJeremy
..
.
Me:
what
?ar
eyoual
lscar
edofhi
m?
Her:
yes.
..
lookletmetakeyout
oDrSi
mons.
..
Yourshi
ftisaboutt
ostart
Me:
ohhy
es.
..
Wewal kedbacktoDani
el'
soff
icebutmymind
wassti
llstuckov
erthi
sJeremyguy,some
asswhore!

Themomentwewalkedi
nIsawDani
elwear
ing
hi
scoatlookedl
i
kei
twasti
mewegetto
busi
ness.

Hi
m:Iwasaboutt
ocal
lasear
chpar
ty
Tanya:
wegotdel
ayedbyMrDr
ewatt
he
recept
ion.
.
Hi
m:he'
sher
e?
Her
:yes.
.
Him:
her
egoesmymor
ning.
..UmmhLi
nal
et'
s
go.
..

If
oll
owedbehi
ndhi
m aswesepar
atedway
s
wi
thTanyaandshewav edgoodbye..
.Aswe
werewal
kingDaniel
handmeov ersomefil
e
wri
tt
enSamanthaDr ewandIguesshe'
sthe
mothert
hatTanyawastalki
ngabout.
.
Bef
orewegoti
nsi
desomeroom If
igur
editwas
her
sDani
elst
oppedt
otal
kwithmeIguess..

Him:ummhsowegoi ngintoseeSamant ha
Drew,sheapati
entsuff
eri
ngfrom Alzhei
mer'
s
deseasebutit
ssti
llear
lyandwear egivi
ngher
tr
eatmentalr
eadysonowwej ustchecki
ngher
onlytonot
eanychange
Me:
OK
Hi
m:andohhhhersoni
sabi
trude
Me'
abi
t?y
oumustbeki
ddi
ngme
Hi
m:OKi
sveryr
udebutt
rybyal
lmeanst
ojust
i
gnor
ehi
m..
.
Me:
Iwi
l
ltr
y
Hi
m:okl
et'
sgeti
n

Wegoti nandhewast her

eholdi
nghismot her
s
Handt al
ki
ngtoher,f
rom t
hatv
iewheseemed
nicebuthe'
seyesshowedmecol dness.
..I
ts
l
ikehewasn'texpecti
ngme.

Dani
el:
ummhmor
ningMrandMr
sDr
ew
Her
:mor
ningDocki
e

Iwant
edt ol
aughatt
hatpetnamebutIj
ust
hel
dmy sel
f

Her:
whoset
hisi
ncr
edi
blybeaut
if
ulgi
rly
ou'
ve
br
ought
Dani
el:
ohht
hisi
sLi
nashewi
l
lbemyassi
stant
Her
:ohhhi
Lina,
yousobeaut
if
ul
Me:
mor
ningMr
sDr
ewandt
hanky
ou

Danielst
art
edwor ki
ngi
nherandgi
vi
ngmea
fewinstr
ucti
onsonwhattowri
tei
nthef
il
eand
wit
hinfewmi nut
eswewerewalki
ngout

Dani
el:
hav
eagr
eatdayMr
sDr
ew
Her
:yout
ooDocki
eandy
ouLi
na
Me:
thanky
ou

Andwit
hthatwewal
kedoutwi
thMrat
ti
tude
behi
ndus.
.

Dani
el:
whatcanIdof
ory
ouMrDr
ew?

Danielaskedaswewer
enowout
sideMr
s
Drew'sroom..
Jeremy:
Idon'
twanthernearmymom ev
er
again

Andwitht
hathewal
kedaway
,tr
ustmeIwant
ed
tosnaphi
smeanass.
.

Me:
whatt
hef
uck?
?
Daniel
:Ibethe'
sfr
om Pl
utonor
mal
peopl
edont
behaveli
kethat
Me:
thatmot
her
fuckersonofabi
tch!
!

TobehonestIwasangr y,butbecauseIwas
practi
cingbeingapr ofessionalIhavetolearn
therewillbelotofpeoplel i
kehimi nthefuture.
.
Thedaywentf astandsoonenoughi twas
l
unch,Idrov etoSpha'swor kplacewant i
ngt o
tel
lhim allaboutmyf i
rstbadatwor k.WhenI
arr
ivedtherecepti
onistwasn'tt
heresoIj ust
walkedtothelif
tandwentt ohisof f
ice,Ihave
oncebeenher esoIknewexact l
ywer eIwas
going.ThemomentIgoti nhisoffi
ceIsaw
whatIdidn'
twantt osee,Iwantedtojustt urn
headsandr unaway .
.def
inatl
yIam goi ngt o
haveabaddayt hr
oughout !
!
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
#Inser
t25
.
.
18SL
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Istoodtherenotmov i
ng,
theangerthatIhad
suppressedear l
ieratworkcameback.Ithink
hecouldf eeleyesonhimt hathetur
ned,he
wasshockedIcoul dseeinhiseyes.
..Ipr
aise
Godwewer en'
tatthehospit
alandtherewasno
holdi
ngback.

Hi
m:ar
eyoual
soacl
eanerher
e?
Me:
Jer
emyDr
ew.
..

Isai
dasIwalkedt
oSpha'
ssi
tandmademy
sel
f
camfor
tabl
e..
.

Hi
m:ar
eyousomespyorsomet
hing?
Me:
yourassi
sfor
war
d..Sor
udeandmean!
!
Hi
m:whydon'
tyougol
ookf
oramopor
somet
hing?
Me:whydon'
tyougomakecoff
eeorsomet
hing?
Youmeanassissui
tabl
eforacal
lboy
..

Hechuckledwhil
ewipinghi
snose,def
inatl
yif
hethoughthewasgoingtothr
owsomemean
shadesatmeIwoul dkeepqui
tel
ikeearli
eron
heGotitall
wrong!!

Me:
whi
teassshi
t!
Him:
funnyhowyouspeakasi
fyounotwhi
te
assy
oursel
f..
.
Me: don'
tcampar
emetoyou.
..
andwhothehel
l
toldyouam whit
eassy
ouwhiteassst
upi
d
nigga??

Hewasaboutt
orespondwhenSphawal
ked
i
n,
thi
sJer
emyguywasmaki ngmeunl
eashthe
meanmeIwast
ryi
ngnott
obr
ingup.
..

Spha:
babe.
..

Hesai
dashewal
kedt
omeandki
ssedmyl
i
ps.
..

Spha:
youshoul
dhav
etol
dmey
ouar
eher
e..
.
Me:
Ij
ustar
ri
ved.
.
Jer
emy
:Sphat
hisi
syourgi
rl
fr
iend?
?
Me:i
nfl
esh.
.whatwer
eyout
hinki
ng?
am hi
s
chi
l
d?
Spha:
ok,
what
'sgoi
ngonnow?
Jer
emy
:andwer
ethef
uckdi
dyoupi
ckher
?
Me:
wer
eyourMom pi
ckedy
ou,
youi
diot
!
Spha:
ok.
..
.enough!
!
Jeremy '
sphonet henrang,heexcusedhimself
andwal kedout.Iwasangr ynowonderI
roastedhismeanass.Peopl elikehim shoul
dn'
t
begiv enthesurf
acet oeventhinktheyownthe
world.NowIwasl eftwi
thSphaonl yandhis
eyeswer edemandi nganexplanati
on.

Me:hei
srude,
Ihadtoputhi
minhi
spl
ace.
.he
r
uinedmyfir
stdayatwork
Hi
m:am sor
rybabebutJer
emyi
sli
ket
hathey
Me:Idon'
tgi
vefuckifhe'
sli
kethatt
oeveryone
butmainli
neIai
n'tever
ybodyandIwil
ltoast
hi
swhi t
eass!
!
Hi
m:okmay
beweshoul
ddi
scusst
her
ules
Me:
whatr
ules?
Hi
m:noswear
ingar
ound.
.am Icl
ear
?
Me:am sor
ryj
ustt
hatam f
u..
..
am j
ustmad.
.am
sor
ry
Hi
m:goodandnodiscussi
ngJer
emyIdon'
t
wanty
ougett
ingupsetanddon'
twor
ryIwi
llt
alk
t
ohim
Me:
ok

Heleanedtomeandki ssedme, andyetagai

nI
fel
tbutt
erf
lysinmytummy ,If
elthishand
betweenmyl egsandIpull
edout.

Me:
nother
e
Hi
m:why
?
Me:
Babe.
..
.
Hi
m:Iwanty
ouandIwanty
ounow.
..

Hewhisperedi
nmyear
ssoft
lygoingf
ormy
neck,
hewasmakingmegocrazyasheki
ssed
myneck..
Me:
i
tsy
ourwor
kpl
ace.
..

Isaidwit
habr
eaki
ngv
oicewhi
l
emour
ningi
n
between.
..

Hi
m:so?

Iregr ettedwear ingadr esst hatmoment ,he

wasn' tgoi ngt ostopandIknewt hatbetterthan
any oneel se..
.Soonenoughhehadmel ayingon
hist ablewi t
hhisheaddeepbet weenmyl egs
kissing, sucking,
fli
ckingandgoi ngbackand
forth.Andi ,t
herei wasl osingmymi nd
"ohhhh. ..
..
yes..
..
"Imour nedpushi nghishead
muchmor edeeper,Icouldf eel mybody
tense, prepar i
ngrelease" ohGod. ...
ohy esy es
yes"andwi t
hthatIhi tthepl ateau.Har d.And
afteral l i
twaswor t
hwai ti
ngf or !
!Iwant edmor e
ofhi m, Ididn'twanti ttostopr ightt her
ebutt he
onl
ythingthatmadethi
ngsimpossi
blewast hat
wewer eathisworkpl
ace.
..
wouldn'
tthatbe
di
srespect
ful??

Hepull
edmeupandki ssedme,
har
dandso
goodthatIf
eltat
hrobbi
ngpai
nbet
weenmy
l
egs..
..

Hi
m:Iwanty
ou.
.

Hesaidbetweent hekiss,
andsodi dI..
Iwanted
him sobadl
y..Butnotinhisoff
ice,thatwasa
nono!Ipull
edoutoft hekiss,
grabbedhi shouse
keysandsteppeddown.

Me:
athome.
..
Hi
m:what
?comeon.
..
lookatme
Hesai
dlooki
ngdownonhimsel
fandmyey
es
f
oll
owed,hewashar
dasfuck.
..

Me:
youwi
l
lbef
inedon'
twor
ry
Hi
m:whydoy
oul
i
kedoi
ngt
hist
ome?
Me:
youst
art
edi
t.
..
li
vewi
thi
t!

Ibenttopi
ckmypant
iesbutheal
readyhad
them,hebeatmet
oit
..

Me:
mypant
iespl
ease
Hi
m:am keepi
ngt
hem
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:am keepi
ngt
hem wi
thme

Hesai
dplaci
ngthem i
nhispocketandsi
tt
ing
downonhischai
r.
..
thi
sdude!
!!
Me:
okf
ineseey
oul
ater
..
Hi
m:ok

Ipeckedhi sl
ipsbecauseIknewki ssinghi
m
wouldleadt osomethingelse.Iwalkedoutof
hi
sof fi
ceandwentt omycar ,
drov
eawayt othe
mal l
fir
st.
..AllIwasthinki
ngwaswhatIwas
goingtotellDadunti
l hecall
edme. .
.

Me:
hel
l
o
Dad:
hiLi
na,Icall
edtotel
lyout
hatDebraandI
won'
tbesleepingathomesoitsyouandCrai
g
onl
y.
.

Ifel
tli
kerunni
ngaroundnakedcel
ebrat
ing,
am
nowsur eGodwantedmet osl
eepoverat
Spha'snow..Whensuchthi
ngshappenthenI'
l
l
bel
i
kewi
tchcr
aftdoesn'
texi
st!
!

Me:
i
tsok,
am sur
eCr
aigandIwi
l
ldoj
ustf
ine.
..
Dad:
okIl
ovey
oupumpki
n
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo

Andwi tht hathehungup, Iwassor eliev

ed.I
drovetosomel inger i
eshopandboughtsome
Blacklinger i
e.Ial soboughtasi lkygownwi t
h
somest il
ettos. ..Ihadt olooksexyf ormyman! !
I
can'tbewear ingsomeor dinarypant i
eswhen
getti
ngl aid...Af terthatshoppi ngIdr ovetohis
house, Icooked, setthet ablenicelyli
kein
mov iesev enpl acedabot tleofwi ne.Afterall
thatitwasal ready1800hr s,Iwentandt ookand
l
ongbat h,toj ustr el
axandl oosenup.Af t
er
bathingIchangedi ntomyl ingeri
e,putthesilky
gownwi tht hest i
let
tos...Ilookedatmy selfon
themi rrorandIdi dlooksexyi fIdosayso
my sel
f.
..
.Iwentdownst ai
rsasIsetf r
eemyhair
andafterawhileIheardhiscarpull.
..
Ihad
alr
eadyswitchedofftheli
ghts,t
hecandleswer
e
theonlyonesli
ghti
ngt heplace.Ist
oodnextto
thetabl
eashegoti n,
hewassur pri
sed..

Hi
m:wow!It
houghty
ouf
ool
i
ngar
oundbabe.
..
Hewalkeduptomeandkissedmeashishand
wentbeneat
hthegownbutIst
oppedhi
m
i
mmedi at
ely
.

Me:
l
et'
seatMrZwel
ani
Hi
m:can'
tweeataf
ter
..
Me:
nonowsi
t.
..

Hesi
ghedashesatdown,
Ial
sodid.Assoonas
wesatdownIpour
edusthewineandgavehi
m
hi
sglass
Hi
m:cheer
sto?
Me:ummh. .
.cheer
st ousonhowf arwehav e
come,westartedont hewr ongf ootbutlookat
usnow...
wear etogetherandst r
ongasev erand
eventhoughIhav emyi ssuescheer stoyou
sti
cki
ngwi t
hmet hroughitall.
..Iloveyou
SphamandlaZwel ani,Il
ovey oumor ethanall
theuniv
ersecombi nedandy out hereasonIlive
eachday..
.
Hi
m:andIl
ovemorethanyoucouldeverl
ove
meLinaZwel
ani
,youaremyworld..

Hekissedme,itwasn'tjustakissbutt
hatki
ss
thatcommunicated.Ifeltt
earssti
ngmy
eyes,
nottear
sofpai nbutjoy.
..Notinamil
li
on
yearshaveIeverthoughtonedayIwoul dl
ove
l
ikethis!
Ipul
l
edoutaf
terawhi
l
e
Me:
l
et'
seat

Weat ewhil
eengagedinaconv
ersat
ion,
aft
er
wewer edoneIcl
earedthet
abl
e..
wit
hhishel
p
ofcause.

Him:y
ouarer
eal
lyagreatcookbabe,
Ithi
nkI
shoul
dopenuparest
aurant

y
ou.
.
Me:
l
olt
hatwi
l
lbeni
ce.
..

Ihadmybackt urnedagainsthi
m,placi
ngt
he
plat
esnicel
yinthesink,
Iwill
seethem
tomorr
owmor ning..
Themi nut
eIt
urnedheal
readyhadhi
shands
wrappedonmyt i
nywai
stpull
ingmeclosert
o
hi
m..

Hi
m:i
sitt
imef
ordeser
t?
Me:
ri
ghtont
ime.
..

Iwhisper edashepr essedhi sbodyhar d

againstmi ne..hedev ouredmyl ipssl owl y,
maki ngmel osemybr eat he..Af terawhi l
ehe
pi
ckedmeupandwentupst airst ohisr oom.
Themi nut ewegoti nhepl acedmedownand
pi
nnedmyhandsabov emyheadashepr essed
meagai nstthedoor ..
.thiswasoneoft hebest
ki
ssesIhav eev erhad,IswearIwasal r eady
wet,
Icoul df eeli
t.Slowl yhet ookof fthesi l
ky
gownandIwasl eftinmyl ingerieonl y .Hi s
handsr ant hroughmybody ,exploringeachand
everypar tofmybodyasheki ssedandsof tl
y
bi
tmyneck. .
"Ohh. .
God"Imut tered.Soon
enoughIwasl ayi
ngonhi sbedcompl et el
y
naked,thiswasi t..I
twashappeni ngandatt hi
s
staget herewasnogoi ngback, Iwasgi vi
ng
my selft ohi m andIenj oyedeachandev ery
mi nuteofi t
.Hewentont osuckmyboobsand
downt omypussyandbef oreIknowi thewas
doingwhathedoesbest ,hewasmuf fi
ngmeso
goodandbef oreami nutecoul dpassIwas
enjoy i
ngt hemomentofecst asyt hatIdidn't
wantt oend, Iwant edi ttogoonf or
ever.Aftera
whi l
ehi sT-shi rtwasof f,
hispant sand
every thingel se.Hewasv eryver yhugeorbi gt o
say ,
thesi ghtofhi smanhoodmademewanna
runaway .Lor dIdi dn'tunder standhow
someonecanbet hathuge. ..
.Hecameont omy
l
ipsagai n,kissedashi sfingerent er
edme. .it
wasabi tuncomf ortablebecauseIhadonl yhad
sexonce4y earsbackwhenIbr okemyv i
rginit
y.
Hekeptonmov i
nghi sf i
ngerinandoutmaki ng
megr oani npl easure, Ibegant osli
ghtlymov e
myhi pswi t
heacht hrusthi sfi
ngerdi d.He
fi
ngerf uckedmecl oserandcl osertomy
orgasm ashesuckedmyboobsandIf el
ta
strongwav eofsexual sti
mul at i
ont hatcr ushed
mybodyasIr eachedcl i
max.Ami nut el aterI
camehar d,gaspi ngf orbreath,mour ni ngand
grabbi ngt hesheet s" ohhhFuck. ..
.shi t!"I
excl aimed, nowIwant edhim, Iwant edhi m so
badl yasi ny ester day.IfelthisDi ckbr ushmy
pussysof t
lyandt henIf elthim, hewaspushi ng
slowl yasheent eredandi twaspai nf ul, i
tf el
t
l
iket henightIhadbr okenmyv i
rginity .Iwant ed
tot ellhimt ost opbutIdi dn'twantt odi sappoi nt
soIj usthelditt oget herli
keabi ggir l
."fuck"he
groaned, hemov edmyl egsf ur t
herapar tashe
deepenedhi shugedi ckinme, Ifeltlikedy i
ng. .i
t
gotwor sewhenhewasal li
n. ..Ithoughtsex
wassupposedt obepai nfulonl ythef irstt ime! !
Hepul ledoutt hent hrustbacki nsideagai n.Ibi t
myl owerl i
pt ryingt odeal awaywi tht hepai n.
"Shity ousot i
ght "hesai dashepumpedi nand
outofme. ..
aftersomemoment sIf el tt he
pleasur eki ckinandIwasscr eami ngand
mour ningsol oud, am sur ethenei ghbor shear d
me.
..
.
.
.
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t26
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Openi
ngmyey esthenextmorni
ngInoticedI
wasaloneonthebed,
fl
ashesoflastni
ghts
event
srepl
ayedinmyheadthatasmi l
ecr epti
n
myf ace..Hewasamazi ngandper fect,t
heway
het ouchedmel ef tmespeechl esssot o
say ,
ev ent houghi twaspai nful atf i
rstbutt he
pleasur et hathadconsumedmel aterwasex tr
a
ordinar y.Igotoft hebed, pickedHi sshirtthat
wasl ayingont hef l
oorandputi ton, Iwashed
myf aceandbr ushedmyt eethbef oregoing
downst airs.Mymi ndt oldmet hatmay behe' si
n
theki tchenbuthewasn' tthere, f
oramoment
thereIwassur ehewasn' tint hehouseunt il
I
wentt ohi sGymr oom.Hewast heretaking
pushupsorwhat evert heycal lthem andGod
didhel ooksexy !!Ist oodbyt hedoorwat ching
him. .
.unt i
lhestoodupandgav emehi s
attent i
ont houghIdi dn'twanthi mt ostop,i
twas
satisfyingwat chinghi m dohi st hing.Hegav e
thatsmi lethat'
smyweakness, Ireturnedthe
smi l
e. .
.

Hi
m:comeher
e..
Iwal
keduptohim andhepl
acedmeonsome
sor
tofdeskorsomethi
ngli
kethat
..

Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi
Hi
m:howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
per
fect
ly
Hi
m:IhopeIdi
dn'
thur
tyout
hatmuch
Me:
wel
labi
t.
..ButIl
ovedi
t
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:Ithi
nktheyshoul
dputyourhalfneckedpic
onamen' sheal
thmagazi
newel leventhoughI
won'tal
lowit
Hi
m:am It
hatsex
y
Me:
asi
fyoudon'
tknow.
..
Hi
m:noIdon'
t
Me:
goodf
ory
out
hen.
..
Hi
m:am f
eel
i
ngAbi
tofChr
ist
ianr
ightnow.
.
Me:
Chr
ist
ian?
Hi
m:50shades
Me:
what
?
Him:
yeah,
Ifeel
li
ke.
.noactuall
yam goi
ngt
oti
e
youupandfuckyousenselessl
y
Me:
youmustbeki
ddi
ngme.
.
Him:aft
erIhav
ey ouont
hist
abl
ethenam goi
ng
toTieyouupandshowyouwhatyouhave
neverseenbef
ore..
.

Hesaidashekissedmyneckwhi l
ehishands
workedtheywaytomyboobs,hedidn'
tneed
muchtogetmedr ippi
ngwetjustt
hefeelofhi
s
bodyagainstmi
necoulddothetri
ckalone.Hi
s
handsfr
om myboobswentt omypussyand
soft
lyr
ubbedmet hatasof
tmour nescapedmy
l
ips,mymour nscamet oanendwhenheki ssed
me, hardbutIcoul dn'tconcent ratewi t
hwhathi s
handwasdoi ngt ome. .Wi thoutwar ninghe
penet ratedf ullyi
nme, hegr abbedmywai st
closert ohim andhest art
edt ot hrust..Ididnt
evenknowwer etot ouchany mor e,heknew
whathewasdoi ngandhedi d
except ionally..Hist hrustwer eatami num
speedandconst ant" ahh"Imour nedashi s
speedchangedandhest ar tedhumpi ngmef ast
andhar dthatIst artedscr eami ng,mybody
startedshaki ngandIwasr eachi ngt hel imitand
ami nutelongerIexpl odedi nt omi l
li
onpi eces
asIsqueezedmyl egst i
ght lyonhi swai stand
hecum t ooj ustaf terme. ..Thi swasawayt o
startamor ni ng.Hecar ri
edmeupt ohi sroom
andpl acedmeonHi sbed, Ithoughthewas
j
okingunt ilIsawhi mt akinghi st i
e'sand
actuallyt y
ingmeup. .
.bot hl egsandhands.He
fuckedmef orwhat 'swor thi t
,itwasal lcrazyif
youaskme. ..Ihav enev erhadsuchcr azysex
before..Thet ortur
ehewasgi vi
ngmewas
unbearabl e,Isoobadl ywant edtolockmyl egs
i
ntohi swai st,
dugmynai lsintohisfleshbutI
couldn't.Hekeptont hrusti
nghav ingmecr yi
ng
i
npl easure.Heownedmeandcont r
olledme
andIdi dn'tmi nd..
"Chri
st"IsaidasImov edmy
headf rom sidet osideandt hatwasal lIcoul
d
do.
.
.
.
Sphawasdr i
vingmetothehospi
tal
,af
teral
l
thatglori
oussessi
onIhadtogotowor k,
andI
couldn'taf
for
dbeinglat
e.Hepull
edinthe
hospitalpar
kingLot
t.

Me:
okby
e
Hi
m:ai
n'
tIseei
ngy
out
oday
?
Me:
Ihav
ecur
fewat8
Hi
m:okIwi
l
lhav
eyourcart
ranspor
tedher
e..
Me:
ok.
..
Ilov
eyou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
e..
.

Hekissedmyl i
psandIgotof fthecarandgot
i
nside.Ifeltsadtol
eav ehi
m orev ennottosee
himf ortherestoft
hedaybutonl ybecauseDad
tol
dmef ewday sagothatwear easaf amily
goingtodinnersomewher e.Iwalkedstrai
ghtto
Daniel'
sofficeandIfoundhim settl
i
ngdown, i
t
l
ookedl i
kehehadj ustarri
ved..

Hi
m:Li
na
Me:
Mor
ning.
.
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
?
Me:
muchmor
ebet
tert
hany
est
erday
H:t
hat'
sgreat
..
.l
etmef
il
lyoui
nmy
..
.our
schedul
etoday.
..
Hebr iefedmeonhowourdaywasgoi ngt o
be, deepdowni nmyhear tIj
ustpr ayedJer emy
doesn' tcomeandIbett hewhol ehospi t
al
wi shedt hesame.Thedayst art
edsl ow, saw
Tany aonceandshej ustwav edandIwav ed
backbecauseshewasf arawayf rom me.We
didgot oSamant haDrew' sr
oom, accor dingt o
meandwel lDanielshewasdoi nggr eat,
the
treatmentwasdoi ngitswonder s.Wel lther e
wasnosi gnofJeremyandIl i
kedi tthatway .
.It
wasnowl unchandIwassi t
tingwi thTany aat
thebackoft hehospitalbenchhav i
ngl unch. .

Her
:sohowi
syourdaydoi
ng?
Me:
wel
lsof
argoodIguess.
..
Her:
Ipr
aiseGodJeremydi
dn'tcomeasmuch
ashe'
shotbuthavi
nghim her
esometi
mesai
n't
fun
Me:
l
olt
ell
meabouti
t
Her:
didyouknowt hatDani
el.
..
.Doct
orSi
mons
hasacrazygi
rl
fr
iend..

Thatwasmor
eli
keasent
encet
hanaquest
ion.

Me:
nah
Her:
wellhehasacrazygi
rl
fr
iend,
youshould
seeher.
.onewoul
dswearsheandJer emyare
twi
ns..
theyhav
ethesameat t
it
ude..
Me:
that
'sf
unny
Her
:am t
ell
i
ngyou.
..
IwonderhowDani
elkeeps
upwit
hher..

I
fIdi
dn'
tknowbet
terIwouldsayshe'
sabit
j
eal
ousandhasasmallcr
ushonDaniel.
.
Me:
doy
oul
i
keDani
el?
Her
:what
?
Me:
doy
oul
i
keDani
el?
Her
:t
hat
'si
nsane.
.
Me:IknowyoudoTany
a..
.may
bei
fyoust
opped
bei
ngdenial
..
Her
:Idon'
tl
ikehi
m!!

Shesnapped

Me:
thenwhyar
eyoubei
ngdef
ensi
ve?

Iaskedsof
tl
y.
..

Her
:I
..
..
Me:
you?
Her
:okf
inemay
beal
i
ttl
ebi
t
Me:t
herewego!Idon'
tknowwhyy
ouwer
e
bei
ngindeni
al
Her
:I.
..
howcan.
..
GodLi
nahedoesn'
tev
en
not
iceme
Me:Iseri
ousl
ydon'
tknowwhattosayt
ohelp
youbutam surei
fhetrul
yorhedoesl
i
keyou
hewillsayi
t.
.
Her
:Idoubti
t.
..
.

Ij
ustkeptqui t
e,honest l
yIdidn'
tknowwhatt o
say,I
'v
enev erbeenint hatsit
uati
onbefore..
Afterawhi l
ewewer edoneandi twasbackt o
business.Iwast aki
ngr oundswithDanielwhen
wewentt othi
swar d,wereasmal lgi
rlwas...
Shewasbeaut i
fulbutDani el
hadexplainedto
met hatshe'ssuffer
ingf r
om Canceratitslast
stageandt her
ewasnot hingthatcanpossibly
bedone.Shel ookedsocut e,
hadthatkil
ler
smi
l
e..

Her
:Hi
DocDan
Dani
el:
heyAl
i
ce,
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
?
Her
:wel
lam good,
hi
Me:
heyAl
i
ce
Her
:Goshy
ousoor
idi
cul
ousl
ybeaut
if
ul
Me:soareyou.
..
youat
eout
tat
hiswor
ld
beaut
if
ul.
.

Shesof
tl
ygiggl
edli
kea6y earol
dthatshe
was,
shehadnohair.
..
shehadabaldheadbut
st
il
ll
ookedbeaut
if
ul.
.

Her
:ohhwell
thanky
ou.
..Ar
eyougoi
ngt
obe
wor
kingwit
hDan?
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:Il
i
key
oual
ready
Me:
sodoI
Her
:Ican'
twai
ttot
ell
mom whenshecomes.
..
Canyoubemynewf r
iend?
Me:
Iwouldl
ovet
o,maybewecaneatl
unch
t
oget
hersometi
me..
Her
:yespl
ease,
thatwi
l
lbel
ovel
y.
..Youknow
t
herear
ethi
ngsIwanttodo
Me:
thi
ngsl
i
kewhat
?

Shegrabbedapaperf
rom underherpil
l
owand
handeditov
ert
ome, i
twasabucketlist.
.

1.Got
othebeachandsur
f
2.
ri
dear
oll
ercoast
er
3.
lear
nhowt
opl
ayapi
ano
4.
makeapai
nti
ngofme,
mybr
othermi
keand
mom
5.
makeanewf
ri
end
6.
Got
othemov
ies
7.
leav
egoodmemor
ies.
.

If
eltt
ear
sst
ingmyey
esasIr
eadt
hatl
i
st.
..

Me:
whomadet
hisf
ory
ou?
Her
:Idi
d..
.soseemsl
i
keIhav
emadeanew
f
ri
endandhernameis?
Me:
Lina.
.hernamei
sLi
na

Shesmiledbri
ght
lyandtookt
hepaperanda
penci
landti
ckednumber5..I
t'
sfunnyhowshe
wasjustact
ingokevenonherdeathbed,
didn'
t
sheknowshewasdy ing?
Her
:don'
tcr
y..
.

Shesaidsoft
ly,
Idi
dn'
treal
izeshewascr
ying.
.
Qui
cklyIwipedmytear
s..

Her
:wi
l
lyouhel
pmedomybucketl
i
st?
Me:
ofcause,
whynot
..
Her
:Il
ovey
ouLi
na
Me:
andsodoI
..
Ilov
eyouAl
i
ce.
.

Afterawhilewewal kedout,Ididn'
twantt
o
l
eav eAl
ice,myheartthrobbed..WhydidGid
al
lowsucht hingstohappensomet i
mes?Shes
j
ustakidf orChri
stsake...

Daniel:
seemsl i
keyouandAli
cehav
emade
goodf r
iends,
she'snev
erl
iket
hiswi
thot
her
people.
.
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknow.
..
.
Me:
howl
ongdoesshehav
e?
Hi
m:appr
oxi
mat
elyamont
horso

Ikeptqui te,
Iwashur tandhear tbroken..
sucha
nicegirl.
.shedoesn'tdeserveit.
.Thedaywent
unti
l i
twasov er
.Iwasonmywayout sidewhen
Iremember edAlice.
..
itwil
lbegoodt hingifIsay
bye..ItookaU- turnandwal kedtoherwar d..
WhenIgott hereshewassi t t
ingwithsomeone..
Lookedl
ikehermom..
Ist
oodbythedoorandI
wasabouttogobackasIdi
dn'
twanttodi
stur
b
afamil
ysessi
onwhenshenoti
cedme..

Her:Lina!
!Iwasj
ustt
ell
i
ngmom about
you..Mommyt hi
sismynewfr
iendLinaand
Linathisismymom
Me:
nicet
omeety
oumam
Her
:nopl
easecal
lmeTi
han
Me:ok.
.ummhIj
ustcamet
osayby
etomy
pr
incess
Al
i
ce:
yougoi
nghome?
Me:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
.
Al
i
ce:
okby
ebest
ie.
.
Me:
byesweet
hear
t

Iwalkedout
,andnowIfeltbet
ter
..Iwal
kedto
mycarbutwasst oppedbyav oi
cecall
i
ngme.I
tur
nedtolookitwasAli
ce'smom, Ti
han..

Her:
hie,
Ijustwant
edtosaythanky
ouforwhat
youaredoingforAli
e..
.Shet
oldmeaboutt
he
bucketl
ist
Me:
Iwantt
odoi
t.
.
Her:
i
tsbeenlongsinceIsawhersohappyl
i
ke
t
his.
..Andexci
ted
Me:
Il
oveher
,she'
sador
abl
e
Her
:yes.
..
okby
e

Andwit
hthatshewal
kedbacki
nsi
deandI
wal
kedtomycar.
Lookedli
keSphar eall
yhadmycarbr oughtup
andIwasgl ad.Idrov
ehomeandar ound
1800hrsIhadalreadyarri
ved.SoonasIgot
ther
eseemsl ikeeveryonewaswaiti
ngforme..

Me:
eveni
ng.
.
Dad:
Gof
reshenup,
wer
unni
ngl
ate.
.
Me:
wer
ear
ewegoi
ng.
.?
Hi
m:wehav
ebeeni
nvi
tedf
ordi
nnerbyagood
f
ri
endofmi
ne
Me:
ok
Iwalkedt
omyr oom,
tookaqui
kshowerand
changedcl
othes.
.
After45mi nutesorlesswehadpul ledupi n
someBeaut i
fulhouse,sobeaut if
ul andv er y
l
uxur ious. .
.Wehadt ravel
ledwi thonecar ,Iwas
withCr aigatthebackwhowassi l
ent ,
didn't
evenut teronesi ngl
ewor d..Craigwasnev er
l
iket hisandIwonderwhat '
swr ong. ..Wegotof f
thecarandwal kedt owardst hedoorwi thDad
andDebr aleadi
ngt heway .
.Theyknockedand
aft
eraf ewt hedoorswungopen. .IknewIhad
seent hiswomansomewher et hepl aceonl y
fai
ledme.Herf acewasf ami l
iar,sof ami l
iarand
i
nst ant l
yIknewIhadseenhersomewher ebut
wher e?
Shegreet
edusal lwit
hkissesonourcheeks
andwegoti n.Ther
ewasaman, oldenoughto
bemydadwhoal sogreetedus,
i
ttookmea
secondtorememberwhohewas, andthe
momentitcl
ickedmyheartstartedbeatingfast
andnodoubtwewer eatSpha'spar ent
shouse,
Isti
l
lrememberSphamandla'
sf athersayinghe
knowsmydad.Iprayedthathewasn' there..
.

MrZwelani:
welcomewelcomeever
yonepl
ease
comein..
.Allmysonsareher
eitwi
l
lbelov
ely
tof
inal
lymeetthem VanGeor
ge
Dad:
that
'sgr
eat
,Ibett
heyhav
egr
own.
.

Spha'sfat
herwalkedustower eeveryone
was,tothedini
ngroom andassoonaswegot
thereoureyesmet,myheartmelt.If
eltli
ke
goingandhugt heli
vi
nglight
soutofhi m..
.

Mr sZwelani:
okthisi
smyFi r
stborn
Sphamandl aandthat
'sEdwardoverther
ethe
otheroneiscomingnownow. .he'
s
upstai
rs.
.andguysthi
sisCraigandLinawit
h
t
hei
rPar
ent
sMr
sandMrVanGeor
ge.
..

IlookedatEdwar dwhowi nkedatme, Ij

ust
smi l
ed..Ididn'twantt ogetSphamad.Weal l
satdownont het ableandbef oreanyonecoul d
utterawor dt het hir
dsoncame, Ihel
dmybr eath
asmyey esmethi s.
.hewasst il
lthesame. .
only
grownt allabi tthisti
mear ound.Mywhol ebody
shrankandIf eltmy selfsinking.Thepaint hatI
hadbeent r
y i
ngt oBur ryresur f
acedagai nandi t
hurtbadly..
.Whydi dGodkeepdoi ngthi
stome?
Iclosedmyey eshopi ngwhenIopent hem it
woul dhaveal l di
sappear edbutnohest il
lstood
thereandhi swor dscamecr ushi nginmyhead

"
Youwerejustanotherpassby .
..
Inev erLoved
y
ouLinaandy oujustsomety pi
cal whoreinthe
l
i
ne".
..
Ist
il
lremembert hem l
ikey esterday
,Isti
ll
r
ememberhowhehur tmelikey esterdayandI
t
hatmomentIf el
ttearswarm mycheeks, allI
want
edwast
odi
e,
Iwant
edt
odi
e..
..
.
.
.
.
*
*
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t27
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Ev
ery
thi
ngwasamess,
hest
oppedonhi
str
acks
whenhesawme.Fr ozet obeexact ,Iont he
otherhandIwasbr eaki ngbutnoonewas
takingnot iceever yonewasconsumedi nthei r
ownt hi
ngs. .
.Ihadt houghthel ovedme, wehad
plannedourf uturet oget her ,wewer ehigh
school loversfor3f ul l
y ear s..
.It houghthe
l
ov edmeandIbel iev edeachandev erywor dhe
said.Hel iedtome, hur tMebey ondmeasur e,
l
ef tmebr oken...Set tingmyey esonhi m allthe
memor iescameback, mybeggi ngf orhi slove..
Ili
terall
ybegged. .
Ihadn' timagi nedl ifewi t
hout
him, hewasmyl i
femywor l
dandhebr okeme,
onlyhecoul donl yhehadt hepowert odoso. .
Hehadpr omisedt olov emet illenternityandhe
broket hepr omi seandnowhewasback. .he
wasbackandmyhear tcoul dn'ttakei t.
.Phi l
ip..
.
Istoodupandr ant oout side, outthr ought he
gat etonowher e. .
.Ij ustwant edt ost opexi sti
ng,
Iwant edt odisappearIwant edt odi e..Just
wheni thoughtev erythingi sgoi ngwel l
..AsI
ranIf el
thandsgr abme. ...Gr abbedmehar d
i
ntohi
schest
,Il
eti
tal
lout
..
.

Me:
he.
..
he.
..
hu.
.hur
t.
.me

Iwhi
speredcry
inginhi
schest.
..Hehuggedme
ti
ght
erthanbefor
eandIcl
incheduntohim..

Spha:
Ilov
eyouandt
hat
'sal
lthatmat
ter
s..

Icri
edforal
lthehur
tIhav eeverbeenthrough.
..
Ifonl
ymom washer e.
.shewouldhav eknown
whattodo..
.Ifel
tweak..
.butIst
il
lleti
tallouti
n
hisarms.
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
.
Myat tentionwasonher ,
i
fIhadt heideathat
may bet hiswast heguestdadwast al
king
aboutmay bet henIwoul dhav est oppedal l
t hi
s.
Onceagai nIf ail
edher ,
onceagai nshe'scrying
,somet hingt hatInev erwant edhert odo. .I
hateitwhenshecr iesbecausei tbreaksme.
Phili
pwasbackandi tseemsl ikehi m coming
backhascausedmor ehar mt hangood.Ihad
takenhert omyhouseaf tershecr iedherselfto
sleep.
..Ev enifsomet hingdidhappenbet ween
herandPhi li
p,thewayhel ookedatherpr ov ed
hest i
lll
ov edher .
..ThewayHi sey esli
twhenhe
sawher ...
Iwasntgoi ngt oloset heloveofmy
l
ifeov ersomeshi tnev er!
!
Iwentdownst
air
s,cal
l
edEr
ic.
..

Hi
m:What
'shappeni
ng?
Me:
Phi
l
ipi
shappeni
ngdude.
.
Hi
m:whathappened?
Me:
Theymet
,di
dn'
tendwel
l
Him:
youknewthatwoul
dhappen,
andy
ouknow
hest
il
ll
ovesher.
.
Me:
Iknowt
hat
Him:andhe'
sgoingt
ofi
ghtf
orwhat
'
shi
s..
.y
ou
bett
erbeready
Me:what
'
shis?Linai
snothi
s,
hehadhischance
heblewi
tandifhethi
nkst
hatam goi
ngl
etHer
go.
.
Him:Ipr
aiseGodam noty
oubr
uh.
..
thi
slov
e
shi
t.
.
Me:
l
ookIwi
l
lseey
outomor
row,
I'
m notcomi
ng
t
oworkt
omorr
ow.
..
Hi
m:shegaty
ouwr
appedar
oundherf
inger
s
Me:
andIdon'
tmi
nd.
..
Hi
m:ay
t..
.seey
ou.
.
Andwi tht
hathehungup.Iwouldr
atherdi
e
thanletLi
nasli
pthr
oughmyf i
nger
snev er
.I
decidedtocal
lEdwardsohetel
lmewhat '
s
happeningathome.
.

Me:
hey
Him:
niggawhattheheckusgoingon?Imean
Li
nastormedoutfol
lowedbyyouthenPhil
ip
andCrai
g..
whatt
heheckishappening?
Me:
tel
lherdadnott
owor
ryIwi
l
lbr
ingheri
n
t
omorrow
Hi
m:okbut
..
.

Ihadalr
eadyhungup,Isighedbefor
ewalking
backtotheroom.Shelookedsoinnocent
,so
perf
ectandshewasper fect
.Il
oveherwithmy
al
landthere'
snostoppingmenomat t
erwhat!!
Shesli
ghtl
ymov edfol
l
owedbyherey eslazil
y
openi
ng.Hereyeslandedonmi
ne,
Iwal
kedt
o
herandcreptbesi
desher.
.

Me:
youdoknowIl
over
ight
?
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo
Me:Iwanty
outoletmei
n,
letmebet
her
efor
youevenonthi
s..
.
Her
:yourbr
other
..
..
hehur
tme.
.hebr
okeme
Me:
andnowam her
etohel
pyouf
ixt
hepi
eces.
.
Il
oveyoutoomuchLi
na.
..
Idon'
tthi
nky
ou
under
standhowmuchIl
oveyou.
..
Her
:Spha.
.
Me:no,
Il
oveyou.
.Il
oveyousomuchmorethan
l
if
eitsel
fandIwon'
tletany
thi
ngcomebet
ween
usevenPhil
i
p

Herey
eswer
efi
l
ledwi
tht
ear
snow.
.
Me:
promisemey
ouwi
l
lnev
erl
eav
emeno
mat
terwhat.
.
Her
:Ipr
omi
se

Ipul
ledherupclosertome,wecuddl
edand
somehowherpr esencearoundmewasthe
bestthi
ngthatcanpossibl
yhappent
ome.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Isil
entl
ycri
edmyselft
osleeplast
night,
knowi
ngSphaiswithmemademyhear t
mel t
,i
fhewasn'
tgoi
ngtoletany t
hingcome
betweenusthenIguessIdon'thavet oworr
y
butstil
lPhi
l
ipwasback..
and.
.and..and..
and
nothing.Hewast hepastandhebel onged
there..
thatscumbagmot her
fucker.
.Iloved
him,that'
swhyIcoul dn'
tgetov ereveryt
hinghe
didtomebecauseIl ovedhim,Ilovedhim so
much. ..Whenourey esmet ,
theloveweonce
sharedwasi nhi
sey es,
he'seyeswer efi
ll
edwi t
h
l
ov eandf oramomentt hereIfelti
t.
..
butthen
hecr ushedit.
..
nowIwaswi thSphaandIl ov
e
himv erymuchbutam Isur eIreall
ygotov er
Phil
ipormay bejustmay be.
.I
..
..
doIlovehi m?do
Isti
ll?
Isnappedthatt
houghtoffmymi nd.
.Ididn'
tl
ove
him Il
oveSphaandthat'
sit
!!Icoul
df eelhewas
awake

Hi
m:i
tsr
aini
ng

Ihadnot
icedt
hiswhenIwokeup.
.i
twasr
aini
ng
andsopeacef
ul.
.
Me:
yes,
howdi
dyousl
epp?
Hi
m: didn'
tdot
hatmuchofsl
eep.
..
Ikept
t
hinkingonwhatIwasgoi
ngtodoifIl
osey
ou
Me:
what?l
ookam nev
ergoingt
oleav
eyou,
I
l
oveyousomuchok..
.Il
oveyou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo,
pleasespendt
hedaywi
th
me
Me:
whatabout
..
.
Him:
youwillcal
li
nsi
ck.
.st
aythemorni
ng
onl
y,
justacoupl
emorehourstheny
ougo..

Itwasaround5a.
m. .
.may
beIcanst
il
lmakei
t
around8a.m.
.am sur
eDaniel
won'
tmind

Me:
ok.
..
Heheldmet i
ght.
.bri
ngingourl ipscloserto
eachother...Hesof t
lykissedmet henpulled
outwhil
ecuddl i
ngme.I tfeltright
,beinginhis
armsfeltrightonev erylevel.
.nofoolingaround
j
ustcuddl i
nghel dmuchpowerbet weenus, t
he
bondwehav eusunbr eakable..Thelovewe
shar
eisj ustsost rong..
.
.
.
.
PHI
LIP
.
.
Seei
ngLi nawasn'tsomethi
ngIplanned,butam
grat
efulIdid.Seei
ngherbroughtsomany
memor i
es,shewast heonlygoodmemor yI
haveeverhad,shestil
lwasbeauti
fulmorethan
anyt
hingmyey eshaveeverseenandIlovedher
andIsti
lldonomat t
erwhat.She'
stheloveof
myl if
eandam goi ngt owi nherback.Iknow
probabl yshe'sdatingSpha, Edwardtoldmebut
thatdoesn' tMat t
er...
..IfIhavetochoose
betweenLi naandany thingelseIwi l
lchoose
her,
Ihav eal waysdi d.Ialway sputher
happinessf i
rstandIwon' tstop.Ibrokeupwi t
h
herbecauseIchoset okeephersaf e,
ifIdidn't
wellrightnowoursext apewoul dbeonsoci al
medi a,i
tmi ghthavehappened4y earsagobut
sti
llIlovedher .Andgoi ngtof i
ghtforourlov e,
shemi ghthat emebutIwi l
l t
ell
herev ery
thing
andf ightforwhat '
smi ne.Linahadal waysbeen
mineandal way swi ll
benomat terwhatSpha
thi
nks.
.
.
.
I
tsabi
tshor
t,
ki
ndabusywi
thschool
.
...
"
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t28
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Iwenttowor karound8,Iwasn'tthatmuchof
l
atethough.Ididmynor mal rout
inewithDani
el.
Thedaywasgoi ngwel leventhoughIhadmy
ownissues..It
ri
ednott othinkofPhil
ipthat
muchbecausei tdoesnothingbutmakesme
cr
y.Inst
eadofst ressi
ngaboutPhi l
ipIoccupi
ed
mymi ndbyt hi
nkingaboutAl i
ce,
Ihaddecided
thatIwi l
lputallmyef f
ortintohelpi
ngher
beforehert i
mer unsout .Sphahasbeen
checkinguponmeeachandev ery10mi nutes
andam notcompl aini
ng, am actual
lygladheis
anyway ..I
twasal r
eadyl unchtimeandIwas
packingmybag, want edt ogotot hemal land
buypai ntsandA3paper sforAli
ce..am sureshe
willbehappy ,asIwasst il
lpackingt hedoor
burstopen..andi twast hemast erofAt ti
tude
himself.Whatt hehel ldidhewantnowandnot
toment ionDani elhadj ustwentout ..
.

Me:
whatcanIdof
ory
ouMrDr
ew?
Hi
m:Wher
e'st
hedoct
or?
Me:
youar
elooki
ngather
Him:
look,
Iai
nther
eforshi
t.
.Wher
e'st
hef
ucken
Doct
or?
Me:
therenoreasonf
ory
outoswearMr
Dr
ew,butany
wayhewentout.
Hi
m:wheni
shegoi
ngt
obeback?
Me:
aft
erl
unchpr
obabl
y.
..
Hi
m:can'
tyoucal
lhi
m?
Me:t
helastt
imeIcheckedIam notyour
secr
etar
yMrDrewnowi fyouwill
excusemeI
needtogoformylunch

Hemumbl
edsomet
hing.
..
.

Him:
Ihat
easkingprematur
epeopl
ebutt
ell
me
how'
smymot her'
sheal
th?
Me:asy
oujustsaidam apr
emat
urehowabout
youwai
tforDoctorSi
mons
Him:
ain'
tity
ourJobt otel
lmemymot her
's
heal
th?Iwil
lfuckensuethi
shospi
tal
.
Me:asfarasam concer
nedInolongerhandl
i
ng
yourmotheraf
teryouaskedformenottohelp
DrSimonsony ourmother
..Nowplease!
!
Isaidmakingmywayout ,
todayIwasn'
tinthe
moodf oranything..AllIwantedwasapeacef ul
daywithoutanydr amaandIcanseeThi s
Jeremyguyi slookingf orit
.AsIwaswal ki
ng,
withmymi ndbei ngf arawayIbumpedi nto
someone, i
twasal ady .
..

Her
:whatt
he?
?
Me:
am sor
ry,
sosor
ry.
..
Her
:okbutpl
easenextt
imewat
chwer
eyouar
e
goi
ng.
.
Me:
yesandagai
nsor
ry.
..
Her
:i
tsok

Shesai
dsmi
l
ing,
shewasbeaut
if
ulnol
i
e..

Her
:ohhAm Jor
danah
Me:
Lina
Her
:ni
cet
omeety
ouLi
na
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
..
.UmmhIbet
tergoby
e
Her
:by
e

Iwalkedaway,sheseemednice.Iwal
kedt
omy
caranddrovetothemal l
.ThemomentIarr
ived
Irecei
vedatextfrom anunknownnumber
I
tread

"weneedtotalk,
Ineedt
oseey ou.Today
around5.
.wi
l
l sendthel
ocat
ion..
"

Iknewi twashim,nodoubt .Itooknumer ous

breat
hest ocalm myselfdown.Whatmakes
himthinkIwill
jumpev eryti
mehemakes
commands?Thatshi tendedal ongtimeago.I
didn'
treplyt
hemessagei nfactIjusti
gnoredit
..
Aftersomet imeIgotof
fthecarandheadedf or
theshopsonl ytomeetKarenalongway .Pl
an
wast hatIjusti
gnor
eherandcont i
nuetowal k
l
ikeIdon'tseeherbecausehonestl
yam noti n
themoodf oranydr
amat odaybutseemsl i
ke
dramai sfoll
owingme.Shedeli
beratel
ystopped
i
nf rontofme. .

Me:
mov
e
Her:
youknow, Iknowt herearewhoresout
ther
e,sl
utsbuty ou,
yout hei
rGodmot her!You
deserveanOscarf orwhor er
ism!
!dating2
brot
hers..
.Ihavenev erseensuch.Howdoy ou
l
ivewithyourself?Orhowdoesi tfeel?
Me:
cany
oupl
easemov
e?
Her:y
ouar enodi
ff
erentfr
om a
prosti
tut
e,ev
enaprosti
tut
eisbet
terf
ori
tget
s
paidbutyou..
.
Shewaspi
ssi
ngmeof
f,
shewasmaki
ngme
damnangr
y.

Me:
Kar
enf
uckof
f!
!mov
eyourass!
!
Her:
hitanerve?Trut
hhur tsri
ght?pl
easedon't
i
nfectthem..
.youshouldstartst
andingonroads
l
ookingforcustomers..
.OhhoppsIf orgotyou
makepor n,
l
itt
lesexmov ies..
.Notonlyarey
oua
whorebutalsoapor nst
ar !
!

Ihadr eachedt helimit,

Iwasf umingbyt hen.I
havenev erbeenav iolentpersonbutam goi ng
tostarttoday .ThankGodIwasr ocki
ngi nmy
Jeans,T-shirtandsneaker swhi l
eMst hinghere
wasi nherj eans,t
uckedi nshi rtwit
hhill
s..Iwas
goingt obeatherupf ordisrespect i
ngmeand
tal
kingt omel i
kethat.Ididn'tcareiftherewere
peoplear oundori fwewer einapubl icspacei
wasgonnaf uckherass.Ipl acedmybagdown,
shewast allandwhatmadei twor sewer ethe
hill
sbutIdi dn'
tcareaboutt hat.Whosai dshor t
peopl ecan' tbeattal
lpeopl e?Iwal kedt oher
andsl appedhersohar dthatmyhandev enhur t
.
Shet ouchedhercheekast oni shed.Iknewher
beingt allwasgoi ngtocostmesowi thout
wast ingt i
meIt ookof fmybel tandwhi ppedher
withi tgi vi
nghernot i
met or espond.Ihi therso
hardt hatshewant edt orunbutt r
ippedand
fell
,peopl ewer ealreadygat her edar oundus
witht hei rphonesl i
keshi t
.Themomentshef el
l
Irushedt oherandhi therwi thmybel t
,Iwasn' t
goingt ost op.Thisbitchhasgonef ar
,toof ar
now.Ir eleasedmyanger ,
all myangerat
her..shedeser ved.Ifelthandspul l
ingme, str
ong
handst hatpushedmeawayf rom her.It r
ied
kickingt osetmy selffreebutt herewer et o
strong.Theper sondr aggedt otheircar,i
twas
Jeremy .
.

Me:
whyt
hef
uckdi
dyoudot
hatf
or?
Hi
m:andwhatt
hef
uckar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
that
'swhatIdotopeopl
ewhodi
srespect
meyouasswhore!
Hi
m: wel
lIhopeyoudosowheny
ourassi
sin
j
ail
forassaul
t!
!
Me:
Idon'
tcar
e!whydoy
ou?
fuckenl
eav
eme!
!!

Hestil
lhadastronggr
iponmyhandsandhe
didn'
tl
etgo.Iwasgett
ingemot
ional
wit
heach
second

Me:
shedeser
vedi
t.
.shedeser
vedi
t.
.
Hi
m:Sphai
sinhi
sway
,hewi
l
lsor
titout
.
Me:
youcal
l
edhi
m?
Hi
m:whatdi
dyouwantmet
odo?
Me:nowhe'sgoingtothi
nkam ment
all
y
di
sturbedand.
.and.
.he.
..
Hi
m:what
?

Ikeptqui
teandshutmyeyesti
ght
ly.Whati
s
wrongwithme?am notav
iol
entper
son..
.What
am Itur
ningt
o?

Hi
m:andwhatt
he?Youcr
ying?

Idon'tev enr eali

seIwascr yingbutwhywon' t
I?everythingisamess, ithasal waysbeeni ts
onlyt hatallthisyearsIdi dn'
twantt odeal wi
th
i
t."whyar ey oucr yi
ng? whatdi dyoudot oher
youscumbag? "Avoicesai d.Iturnedtol ook
andi twasJor danah,thegi r
lIbumpedi ntoat
thehospi t
al.Shehadt heconcer nedlookonher
face.Qui cklyIwipedawaymyt ears,
didn'twant
any onef eeli
ngsor r
yf orme.

Her
:whatdi
dyoudot
oherJer
emy
?
Him:what?
itsnotme.
.whyam Ial
way
sthebad
person?
Her
:becausenat
ural
l
yyouar
e

Shecamet
ome.
..

Her:
hey
y,di
dhedoany
thi
ngt
oyou?
tel
lmei
fhe
di
d..
.
Me:
hedi
dnot
hingt
ome
Her
:t
henwhywer
eyoucr
ying?
Me:
Iwasn'
t

Ideni
edi
t.
.

Me:
somet
hingj
ustgoti
nmyey
e..
Her
:am notst
upi
dyouknow.
..
Befor
eIcouldrespondSpha'
scarpar
ked.He
gotoffhe'
scar
,Ikeptmyheaddown..
didn'
t
wanttolooki
nhi seyes.

Hi
m:l
et'
sgo

Hesai
d,he'
svoi
cehadnohi
ntofanyemot
ion.

Me:
byeJor
danah
Her
:seey
ou

IwalkedtoSpha'
scarandgotin.Washeangry
atme? di
dhewannadumpme?Al lt
his
questi
onswereinmymi ndandtheyst
ressed
meout !!
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
WhenIr eceivedacallfr
om Jeremy,Iwasi na
heatedargumentwi thmymom.Unf ortunatel
y
someoneorPhi l
ipIdon'
tknowt ol
dhert hatI
am snatchingLinafrom Phi
l
ip.Am sureit
wasn'tPhili
pbecausehe'snotthatclosewi th
mom, theyalwaysclashandhesnott hattypeof
personeitherway.Shewasangr ythatsheev en
sl
appedme

Her:
youwill
stayawayfr
om thatgi
rldoyouhear
me!!She'
snotyoursi
nfactbothofyoushoul
d
st
ayaway .
..
she'
sbadnews
Me:
andhowdoy
ouknowt
hat
?
Her:
don'tt
alktomelikethat
Sphamandla!!
youwil
lstayawayf
rom herbot
h
ofyou.Shetookaft
erhermom defi
natl
y,
Leeannewasawhor e..
Me:
andher
eIt
houghty
oul
i
kedher
..
Her
:Idi
dn'tknowshewasLeanne'
sdaught
er.
Bot
hofy ouwill
stayaway
.
Me:
welli
fyouthinkIwil
lbreakupwit
hthe
womanIloveyoubettert
hinkagai
nbecause
t
hat
'snothappening!
!

Isaidthatwi t
haut horit
y.Inev erbelievedmy
ownmom woul dbel i
ket his!
!Andr i
ghtt here
that'
swhenJer emycal ledandIdr oppedt he
argumentwi thmymom andwentt oLina.She
wasmor eimpor t
antt hant heargument .Iwas
soshockedwhenJer emyt oldmeshesf ighting
andf orami nutethereIdi dntbelieveit.Linacan
beany thi
ngbutnotv i
olent .WhenIar r
ived, her
faceexpressionpr ovedt omet hatitwast rue.
Wewer enowi nmycarheadedt omyhouse.I
di
dn'tevenknowwhatt osayandheront he
otherhandwassosilent.Ihat
edthesil
ence,
am usedtoherloudassannoy i
ngmeal lt
he
ti
me.Ipulledatmyhouseandl ookedather.

Me:
Whywer
eyouf
ight
ing?

Ifi
nal
l
ymanagedtosayaf
teraf
ewmi
nut
es.
Shekeptqui
et.

Me:
Lina.
..
tal
ktome.

Agai
nsheremai
nedsi
l
ent,
i
fsheonl
yknewhow
madhersi
l
encewasdri
vi
ngme.

Me:babe.
..
Idon'
tknowwhatyouwantmet
odo
i
fyouaresil
ent.Pl
easet
alkt
ome..
Her:
shesai
dam awhor
e..
.Shecal
l
edme
names

Shewhi
sper
edsi
l
ent
lybr
eaki
ng.

Me:
who?
Her
:shesai
dam apor
nst
ar.
.

Andr i
ghtthereIknewitwasKar en.Damni
t
Karen!!IshouldhavehandledherandnowIwas
goi
ngt osor theroutf
orgood.Sheseemsto
for
getwhoIam.Igotof fthecarandwentt
o
hersideandpul l
edheroutofthecar.

Me:
am sor
ryok?
Her
:IknowIam anembar
rassment
..
.
Me:
neversayt
hat!
youarenotok?
Embar
rassmentornoty
ouaretheper
sonIl
ove
nomat
terwhat
.
Her
:Il
ovey
out oobutIf
eel
li
keam becomi
nga
bur
dentoyou
Me:what?whotoldyouthatshi
t?Li
naVan
GeorgeIfreaki
nglovey
ousomuch.Don't
fr
ustrat
eme!Youar enotaburden.

Herey eswer emi st,shewashur ti

ngIcoul dsee.
Ihavet oputt hi
st oast op.Phili
pmustgoback
toschool ,
Linawasf inebef or
ehecame.Hehad
togobackbutIknowhewon' tsosi ncehe
didn'
tcomewi t
hhi sgi r
l Ishouldmakesur eshe
comesov er,
tokeepherboyonherl eashasf or
mom, shewi lltodeal withitbecauset here'
sno
wayam l eav i
ngLi na.Linai smyl i
f eand
Karen,aft
eram donewi thhershewon' tknow
whathi ther!Ikissedher ,sopassionatelyand
sheresponded.May beabi tofpleasur ewill
easehermi ndabi t.Ipickedheri nt othehouse
andstr ai
ghttomyr oom andmademadl oveto
her.Afterthehotsex,sheslept.It
ookmy
phoneandcal ledt
hehospitalt
ocallinsi
ckfor
her.IalsocalledJeremy,he'
sgoodwi thITsoI
wasgoi ngt oaskhimt obri
nginPhili
p's
gi
rl
f r
iend,allIknewwashernameandal sothat
he'
sschool satthesamev arsi
tywit
hPhili
p.

Me:
Jay
Hi
m:ssupboy
?
Me:
non,
canyoupleasef
indsomeonefor
me,
tr
ackherdown.Iwantthei
rnumber
.
Hi
m:okcool
who?
Me:El
aineIthi
nk..
.sheschool
swi
thPhi
l
ip.
..
fi
nd
her
,Iwantherdial
s...
Hi
m: whatt
heheckar
eyoudoi
ngwit
hher
di
als?y
ourgir
lf
ri
endi
shott
hough
Me:andwhatar eyoudoi
ngobservi
ngmygi
rls
hot
ness. .Any
wayam doi
ngitforhi
m.Heneeds
her
...
justmakeitqui
ck
Hi
m:am notGodbutwi
l
ltr
y
Me:
ayt
..

Andwitht
hatIhungup,Ihear
daknockonthe
doorandwenttoopen.Itwasthepol
i
ce,
what
now?

Me:
Goodaf
ter
noon
Poli
ce1:
Iam ser
geantAndr
ewsandam l
ooki
ng
forMsLinaVanGeorge.Webel
i
eveshe'
sher
e
Me:
andwhatdoy
ouwantwi
thher
?
Her
:whoset
hatSpha?

Shesof
tl
yaskedbehi
ndme,
Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
se
shewasbehi
ndme.

Pol
i
ce2:
mam ar
eyouLi
naVanGeor
ge?
Her
:yes,
howcanIhel
p?
Ser
geant:
youar
eunderar
restf
orassaul
tof
Kar
en..
Me:
what
?
Sergeant
:weevenhaveproofsomeone
upl
oadedt hevi
deoonsocialmedi
asoy ouhav
e
tocomewi thustot
hestati
on..
Her
:Spha.
.

Shesai
dwitht
earsal
readyst
reami
ngdown,
she
l
ookedscar
ed.
..
..
Her
:don'
tl
ett
hem t
akemeaway
..
..
Spha
.
.
.
*
*TobeCont
inued*
*
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
#Inser
t29
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
IhelduntoSpha' shandt ight
lyast earsmade
thei
rwayout .Ihavenev erbeenav i
olentperson,
Iseri
ouslydon' tknowwhathappenedt oday.
Karenhadobv i
ouslypushedmet ot heli
mits
butstil
lthatdoesn' tchangeany t
hing.Thisis
nothowIwasr aised,thi
sisnotwhatmymom
taughtme. .
.viol
encehasnev ersolvedany t
hing
butIwast ooangr ytoeventhinkaboutt hatand
nowt hepolicear ethedoorst ep.
..

Spha:
babe.
..God!
!Ummhcan'
tIcomewi
thher
?
Ser
geant
:am af
rai
dthat
'si
mpossi
bleMsVan
Geor
geshoul
dcomewi
thusper
sonal
l
y..
.
Him:ok,
ummhbabeIwi l
lber
ightbehi
ndy
ou
ok?Iwil
lsor
tthi
sout
..
Me:
Spha.
..
.
Him:don'
tcryok,nooneisgoingtojail
..
..Iwi
l
l
sortt
hisoutbeforeweev enreachthereok?j
ust
gowi t
hthem I
'mr i
ghtbehindyou..
.

Inodded, ast hepol i

cetookmet ot hei rcar.I
didn'
tev entur ntolookathi m,Ihadmessedup
bigti
me!WhatwasIgoi ngt ot el
lmydad, what
abouttheat tachment ?Thisi swhenIr eali
zed
beati
ngKar enwast hebiggestmi stakeofal l
andnownotonl ydoIgeti nt roubleal onebutI
dragotherpeopl ewi thme.Ist ar
redatmy
fi
ngersast hepol icecardr oveaway .Iwasi nso
deep,sov er
ydeep. .
Icouldev enstartt opi cture
mydad' sdisappoi ntedfaceinmyhead.
Especiallyt
hatt hev i
deowasonsoci al medi ai
t
wouldt akeonl yaf ewsecondsf orhimt oseei t
orHiscolleagues.Wear r
ivedatthepoli
ce
st
at i
onshor t
ly,andtheyl
edmei nsidethank
GodIwasn' tHandcuf f
ed.Iwassurpri
sedt osee
Karen,l
ookedlikeshewasar gui
ngwi ththi
s
otherpoli
ceof f
icer.

Ser
geant
:what
'sgoi
ngonher
e?
Poli
ceoffi
cer
:MsRichardssay
sshewant
sto
changeherst
atementuponherbei
ng
assaul
ted.
.
Sergeant:
MsRi char
dsthat
'snothowwe
work,wearefrom pi
cki
ngupthepersonwho
assault
edy ou
Her:
Idon'
tgi
veshitaboutthatal
lIwanti
sto
changemyprev
iousst at
ementcanIdothator
shoul
dIcomewithal awyer?
Sergeant
:LanguageMsRi chards,
ofcausey ou
canchangeitbutisther
eany oneblackmaili
ng
youorsomet hi
ng.Iwanttoassurey outhatyou
don'
thav
etobescar
edofany
one
Her
:nooneisscar
ri
ngme,Ij
ustwanttochange
mystatementt
hat
'sall
,
canwedoitnow?Am
r
unningoutoft
ime..
Ser
geant
:okfol
l
owmeMsRi char
dsummh
Warr
antguar
dherIwi
l
lber
ightback.
.

Theser geantandKar endisappear edtothi s

room togetherandIwasl eftwitht hewar rant.I
satdownont hebenchandbur iedmyhead
betweenmyl egscomposi ngmy selfonwhatI
wasgoi ngtot el
lmyf at
her.Afterawhi l
ethe
warrantshookmeal itt
leandIgotup, Karen
wasbackwi thsergeant
Sergeant
:youcangoMsVanGeorge.
..
Apparentl
yMsRichar
dsdr
oppedt
hecharges
againsty
ou..
Me:
what
?
Ser
geant
:youcangohome.
.
InoddedasIstoodupandwal
kedoutsi
de,I
foundSphaseatedont
opofhi
scarbusyonhis
phone..
.ThemomentIgott
ohim he'
satt
enti
on
shif
tedtome..

Hi
m:Thatwasf
ast
..
Me:wer
eyout
heonewhot
oldKar
ent
odr
opt
he
char
ges?
Him:
whydoesitmat t
er,
whatmatt
ersi
syouare
fr
eenow..
.anddon'
tworryaboutt
hevi
deoIhad
someonetakei
fit.
..
Me:
ok
Hi
m:y
eahl
et'
sgohome.
..
Me:
whataboutmydad?
am sur
ehei
swor
ri
ed
Hi
m:y
eahokf
inel
etmedr
opy
ouaty
ourcr
ib.
..

Wegoti
nhi
scaranddr
ovet
omyhouse.I
twas
al
readyl
ate.
Hepar
kedatmygat
e

Me:
Thanky
ousomuch,
forev
ery
thi
ng
Hi
m:Idi
ditbecauseIl
ovey
oubutpl
easenext
t
imenomor efi
ghti
ng
Me:
yesIl
ovey
ou
Him:Il
oveyoutoo,
seeyout
omor r
ow..
.If
anyt
hingiswrongcal
lmeok?don'
thesi
tate.
.
Me: ok.
..
canyoupassbythemal
landbuyme
paintsandA3paperstomorr
owandbri
ngthem
aroundlunch
Hi
m:whatar
eyoudoi
ngwi
tht
hose?
Me:t
here'
sthi
skidwithCanceratthehospit
al.
.
Youknowshemadeabucketl istonthingsshe
wantst
odobef oreshedi
esandpai nt
ingwas
oneofthem..
.soam goi
ngtohelpher
Hi
m:t
hat
'sni
ceofy
ou.
.
Me:yeah..
.youknowit
'ssosadthatshe'
sdy i
ng
at6.
..Ital
sokill
edmymom butf orhershewas
35.
..
Aliceissti
lly
oungyouknow..Ij
ustobl
iged
tohelpher..
.
Hi
m:Iunder
stand,
Iwi
l
lbr
ingt
hem ar
oundl
unch
t
ime.
..
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Him:
akisswoul
dbeabet
tert
hanky
oudon'
t
yout
hink?
Me:
youar
esof
orwar
dMrZwel
ani
.
..
Hi
m:am I
?

Hesai
dasheleanedt owardsmeanddevour
ed
myli
pspassi
onately
.Hehadhishandrubbi
ng
mythi
ghsoft
ly.Ipul
ledoutoft
hekiss.
.

Me:
okgoodni
ght
Hi
m:can'
tyousneakt
oday
?
Me:
what
?no!
!
Hi
m:pl
ease.
..
..
Me:
thosepuppyeyeswon'
thel
pyou..
it
sa
No!
!am r
efusi
ng.
.Iwaswit
hyoulastni
ghtand
t
odaywhatelsedoyouwant?
Him:i
tfeel
sabitdi
ff
erenti
fyounot
t
here..
..
cometothi
nkofitIshoul
djustwi
fe
yourass.
.
Me:
am onl
y21.
..
Him:
so?al
otofpeopl
egetmarri
edatt
hatage
besi
desam 25.
..
wecanalway
sgetmarri
ed
Me:am notl
otofpeopl
e,Ist
il
lwannaf
ini
sh
school
Hi
m:andwhosai dwheny
ougetmar
ri
edy
ou
won'
tfi
nishschool
?
Me:
plusam sti
ll
..
.wel
lIst
il
lwannaenj
oybei
ng
i
narelat
ionshi
p
Hi
m:whosai
dthatwi
l
lst
op.Bei
ngmar
ri
edj
ust
meanswewi l
lbetoget
heral
way
syouknow,
no
moresneaki
ngaround
Me:
whyar
eweev
ent
alki
ngaboutmar
ri
age?
Hi
m:wel
lsomedayi
thadtobesai
dandt
oday
wast
heday.
..
whyareyousoaf
rai
dofmarr
iage?
Me:
am notscaredj
ust
..
.am st
il
lyoungf
or
mar
ri
ageandf amil
y
Hi
m:youar
escar
edofcommi
tment
..That
'
s
why.
.

Ihadopenedmymout htospeakwhenI
reali
zedIact
ual
l
ydidn'
thaveanythi
ngt osay
.I
wasscaredofcommi t
ment,Iwasscaredof
beinghurt
.Somanymar r
iagescoll
apse..

Hi
m:Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
..

Hesai
dasheper
kedmyl
i
ps
Me:
okby
e

Igotof fHiscarandwal kedhome.WhenI

reachedourgat eIturnedandhewasst i
l
l
parkedt here..
.Igoti
nsidethehousewit
hmy
mindf araway ..whythesuddent al
kofmarri
age?
Igotinsidet hehouseandev eryonewaslooki
ng
atme.Gr eat!
!

Dad:
Lina.
.

Hesai dashestoodupcomingtomeand
embracingme.Ifel
tsafeinhi
sarms..
Ifel
ttear
s
sti
ngingmyey esasIhuggedhi
mt i
ghtl
y..
..He
pull
edoutafterawhil
e..

Hi
m:Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
ou,
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Mydadknewwhathappened4y ear
sago,infact
he'
st heonewhoor ganisedt
hether
apy
sessionswithAngelwhenItri
edcommi t
ti
ng
suici
debuthedidn'tknowwhoexactlyhurt
me. .
onlyCr
aigwhohadbeatPhi l
ipi
ntoapulp
thedayhef oundout.

Me:i
tsnothi
ng.
.Ij
ust
..
.I
..
.j
ustneededsome
f
reshair
..
.
Him:butyouwerecr
yingwhenyoust
ormed
out.
..
Linapumpkint
alktome.
.

Idi
dn'
tevenknowwhatt
osayanymor
e..
.Ihave
nev
erbeengoodinl
yi
ng.
..
Icl
ear
edmythroat.
.

Me:
Iummh.
..
I
Debr
a:James,
Iwi
l
ltal
ktoher
..
Debr
asaidstandi
ngupandwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsus
t
ogetherwi
thCrai
g..

Dad:
butshe'
smydaughtersheshoul
dtal
kto
meri
ghtpumpki
n..Tel
ldadwhat'
swrong.
.
Debr
a:andshe'
sal
somydaught
erandshewi
l
l
t
alkt
ome. .
.womant
owoman..
.
Dad:
ok,butLi
nai
fther
e'sany
thi
ngwr
ongt
ell
me..
.okbaby?
?
Me:
yes.
.Cr
aigcanIt
alkt
oyou?

Henoddedashewal kedy ohi

sroom,Ifol
lowed
hi
m.Ireal
l
yt hankGodf orDebra.JesusknowsI
wasdead.
..Iquickl
ywal kedbehindCrai
gand
goti
nhisroom.IsighedasIcl osedthedoor.
HesatonHisbedl ookingatme. .
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
Me:
canIsi
t?
Hi
m:whendi
dyoust
artaski
ngt
osi
tonmybed?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
..
thi
ngshav
ebeendi
ff
erent
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Me:yes,Imeanwenol ongert
alkli
keweused
to.
..
itfeel
sli
kewear estr
angersthisday
s..
.l
ike
wear eparti
ngwaysandIdon'tknow
why? .
.what'
shappeni
ngtousCr aig?Weusedt o
beclose..
.
Hi
m:Ihav
ebeensel
fi
shl
atel
yri
ght
?comesi
t.
.

Hesai
dpatti
ngthespacebesi
deshi
m.Iwal
ked
t
ohim andsatnex
ttohim

Hi
m:youknowIreal
l
ylov
eyouLi
naandIwant
what
'sbestf
ory
ou..
Me:andIlov
eyoutoo.
..
youaremybrot
her
bl
oodornotIdon'
tcarebutst
il
lyouar
emy
br
other.
..
Him:
yeah..
Ijustfel
tli
keSphawasn'tgoodfor
youbuthe'
spr ovenmewr ong.
.Ifyouarehappy
t
hensoam I ..
all
Iwantisyoubeinghappy
Me:
youdon'
tknowhowhappyIam t
oheart
hat
..
Him:andam sorr
yaboutPhi
li
p..
Igavehi
m my
pieceofmi
ndt oday.
..
.hewon'
tbothery
ouifhe
knowswhat'
sgoodf orhim.
.
Me:doyout
hinkam awhor
etodat
ebot
h
br
other
s?
Him:no!Ithi
nky ouarethemostbeaut i
ful
wonder fult
hingthathaseverhappenedto
t
hem. ..Youar ewaytoobeauti
fultheyarenoti
n
yourleague
Me:
l
ol.
..

Wel
aughedt
oget
her
..
Me:
Imi
ssedt
his.
.
Hi
m:met
oo.
..
sot
ell
mewhywer
eyouf
ight
ing?
Me:
yousawt
hat
?di
ddadal
so?
Hi
m:itwasonsocialmedi
ainf
actmyf
ri
ends
ar
etheoneswhoshowedmebutnowt hevi
deo
i
snol ongert
her
e..
..
Me: Sphat ookcareofi
t.
..
cany oubeli
eveshe
hadpr essedcharges.
.Ibeatherbecauseshe
cal
ledmenames
Hi
m:lol
s..
youdi
dheranumbert
her
e..
.Soy
ou
wenttoj
ail
?
Me:
notexact
ly.
.Sphasor
titoutagai
n
Hi
m:Ishoul
dhav
emyownSphat
oo.
..

Il
aughed
Me:
l
olIt
houghty
ouandNat
ti
ewer
eti
ght
?
Hi
m:It
houghtsotoobutt
urnsoutshe'
sbusy
f
ucki
ngaround.
.
Me:
wit
h?
Hi
m:.
..
Idon'
twannat
alkabouti
t.
..
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:how'
swor
k?
Me:i
tsf
inebutt
her
e'sthi
smeanguycal
led
Jer
emyDr ewwhothi
nksheownstheworl
d..
Him:
Well
heownsthebiggestl
awf
ir
m so.
..
you
knowhowthi
sri
chpeopleare.
.
Me:hedoesn'
tknowme,
Iwi
l
lputhi
minhe'
s
pl
ace
Hi
m:wel
lIknowy
ouwi
l
l.
..
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.

I
twasni
ceandwonder
ful
thatt
hingswer
eback
tonormal wi
thCraig,
itfeltgoodandal
soam
gladhechangedhissetofmi ndonSpha.
.Even
thoughthi
sdaywasbadbutcomi nghometo
thiswonderf
ulwelcomewasov erwhel
ming.
.I
wisheditcoul
dlastforever.
.
.
.
.
Thefoll
owingdayCr
aigdroppedmeatt he
hospi
tal
.WhenIgottotherecept
ionIbumped
i
ntoTany a.
.

Her
:hey
y

Shesai
dhuggi
ngme

Me:
hey
..
howar
eyou?
Her
:am good.
.y
ou?
Me:
am ok.
.IsDani
eli
n?

Shebl
ushedatt
hement
ionofHi
sname.
..

Me:
and?
mindt
ell
i
ngme.
.
Her
:oksoyester
dayheoff
eredt
obuymel
unch.
.
Andweatelunchtoget
her
..
Me:
that
'sgr
eat
..
that
'spr
ogr
ess.
.
Her:
Iknow,hesai
dhebrokeupwithhis
gi
rl
fr
iend.
..Soni
ggai
sinthemarket.
..
Me:am happyf
oryou,
nowgr
abhi
m bef
ore
someoneelsedoes.
.
Her
:t
hat
'st
hepl
an.
..
Me:
okIwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..

Befor
ewalki
ngt
oDaniel
'soff
iceIlookedatmy
ti
me,Ihad15minut
esbefor
et heshif
tstar
ted
soIwentovert
oAl
ice'
sward.Wheni
gott
her
e
shewasbusyonaTablet
..
Shedidn'
tevenseemesoIcl
ear
edmyt hr
oat.
Themomentshesawmeshescr eamedsoloud
thatIcov
eredmyears.
.

Me:
thatwasl
oud.
.
Her:
Imi
ssedy
ou,
yest
erdayy
oudi
dn'
tcomet
o
seeme.
..
Me:Iwassi
ckbabybutnowam f
ine.Guess
whatwearegoi
ngtodoonlunch

Sheshookherheadi
nexci
tementandcur
iosi
ty
i
nhereyes.
.

Me:youar
egoingtopaint
..Ihaveboughtthe
pai
ntsoyouyoungladybetterpr
epareyoursel
f.
.
Her
:ohhhhhmyGod!
!!
that
'sgoi
ngt
obet
hebest
l
unchev
er!
Me:
Iknowr
ight
..
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
sowhatar
eyoudoi
ngont
hatTabl
et?
Her
:am j
ustpl
ayi
ngagame.
.wannat
ryi
tout
..
?
Me:ohhnooatl
unchok?
rightnowIbet
tergo
hel
pDocDanbeforehegetsupset
..
Her
:okseey
ou.
.
Me:
bye.
.

Iwal
kedtoDani el'
soff
icesmil
i
ng,Ali
cejust
makesmehappy ..WhenIgott
ohi soff
icehe
wasn'
tthere.Isatdownandlookedatthefil
es
wearegoingt obewor ki
ngontoday.I
twasn't
muchpatients.
..Aft
erawhil
ethedoorswung
openandhegoti n..

Hi
m:hey
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
?
Me:
am good
Him:Iwasworri
edwhenyourhusbandcal
l
edi
n
yest
erdaysay
ingyouar
esick.
.

Possi
blyi
twasSpha.
.

Me:
ohhwell
am feel
i
ngbet t
ernow.
..Jer
emy
wasl
ooki
ngfory
ouy est
erday
Hi
m:ohhy
es,
Isawhi
m
Me:
ok.
..
Him:
Ididn'
tknowyouweremar
ri
ed.
.wel
lIdi
dn'
t
seeanyri
ngandIsti
ll
don'
t
Me:
l
olDani
ely
ouar
etooobser
vant
Hi
m:Icoul
dn'
thel
pit
..
.
Wel
aughed.
.
TheDayst arted.I
twasOKhadafewpat i
ents
whopr eferr
edDanielt
hanmebutthatdi
dn't
stopmef r
om doingmybest
.Wewer enowin
Mr sDrew'sroom.Shewasthel
astpati
ent
beforelunch

Her
:youknowy
ouar
esuchbeaut
if
ulgi
rlLi
na
Me:
Thanky
ouMr
sDr
ew
Her:
am sur
eyouwouldmakeagooddaught
er
i
nlaw..
youarej
ustt
heper
fectmat
chfor
Jer
emy..

Thiswomanwasgoi ngfarnow,
per
fectmatch
forwho? herar
rogantson?shemustbeKidding
me..It
hinkthemedi cati
onismessi
ngwithher
head.
"
Iagr
ee"

Avoicesai
dthatmadeust
urnt
olook.I
twas
Jor
danah..

Her:
youandJeremywoul
dmakeaper fect
coupl
e..
.Youguyswi
ll
betheper
fectbeauty
andthebeast

Il
aughedandDani
elj
oinedi
n.

Me:seeyout
omorr
owMr sDrew.
.Iwil
lseey
ou
whenIseeyouJor
danah.
.hav
easplendi
dday.
.

Isai
dthatwal
ki
ngout
sidef
oll
owedbyDani
el.
.

Hi
m:t
hatwast
hemosti
nsaneconv
ersi
onIhav
e
ev
erhear
d.Thi
swomandoesn'
tknowherson.
.
Me:tel
lmeabouti
t.
..May
beshethinksthat
becauseheownsalawfi
rm ev
erygirl
wants
hi
m. .
Him:
wellMam Idon'tknowhey
..
.Seemsl
i
ke
she'
sal
readypl
anningawedding
Me:
that
'snotf
unnyDan
Hi
m:what
?

Hewasal r
eadylaughing.
..Wewal kedt
ohis
off
iceputthi
ngsdownbef or
eheadingforl
unch.
WhenIgott otherecepti
onIsawSpha..my
heartj
ustmeltedathispresence.Iwal
kedupto
hi
m andhuggedhi m..

Hi
m:hey
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou.
.
Hi
m:met
oo,
soIboughtt
het
hingsy
ouwant
ed.
..
Me:
thanky
ou.
.

Hegav
emet
hepai
ntandt
heA3paper
s..

Hi
m:Ibet
terheadbackt
owor
k..
Me:
sosoon?
Hi
m:Ineedt
ocat
chup.
..
Me:
ok.
.Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:y
eahmet
oo.
.

Andwi t
hthathewal kedaway ..
wasi tmeor
therewassomet hingwrong?Heseemed
cold,
mymi nddartedtotheconv ersati
onwehad
yester
dayaboutmar ri
age..Washemadatme?
May behethoughtIwasusi nghim. .
Ididn'
tknow
whattothi
nkany mor esoIjustputitasideand
walkedtoAli
ce'sroom.Atl eastthat'
stheonly
thi
ngthat'
snotst r
essful
.Myl unchwas
awesome, turnsoutAli
cer eall
yknowshowt o
paint
.Ireal
lyenjoyedmy self.Ther
estoft he
daywentwel l.
.af
terworkIwentout sidewel l
expecti
ngtoseeSphabutIsawmy
car,
Meaninghewasn' tgoingt ocomepi ckme
up.Iwalkedtomycarandi mmediatelywhenI
gotinIreceiv
edacal l
from numberIdi dn't
know.

Me:
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
erI
D:hey
y

Iknewthatvoice,i
twashi m..
.Itooknumer ous
deepbreat
hesbef or
eIcouldt alk.Ther
ewasa
ti
meIhadpl annedonwhatt osayt ohi
m whenI
methim butallthatinst
antl
ydi sappeared.
.

Me:
whatdoy
ouwantPhi
l
ip?
Hi
m:canwemeet
?
Me:
nowecan'
t.
.
Hi
m:Iknowy
ouhat
eme.
.
Me:
yougott
hatcor
rect
..
Hi
m:weneedt
otal
kLi
na
Me:
ain'
twet
alki
ng.
.
Hi
m:Iknowyoupr
obabl
ythi
nkIusedy
ouandI
di
dn'
tlovey
ou
Me:
unf
ort
unat
elyf
ory
ouy
es.
.
Him:
it
snotwhaty
out
hink.
.Il
ovedy
ouandIst
il
l
do.
.
Me:peopl
ewhol
oveeachot
herdon'
tdol
i
key
ou
di
d..
Him:
Idi
ditfory
ou.
.Idi
ditbecauseIl
ovedy
ou
andIst
il
ldo
Me:
wellIdon'
tcar
eok?
Idon'
tgi
veashi
tabout
whyyoudidit
..
!
Him:
someonehadoursextape,
andtheywere
goi
ngtor
eleasei
tonsoci
almediaifwedidn'
t
br
eakup.
.Idi
ditt
opr
otecty
ou
Me:ohhok.
.sowhatnow?youwantusto
conti
nuewerewelef
tof?
playhappycoupl
e?
Him:ofcausenotbutwecanwor
kthi
ngsout
babe..
Me:youmustbesmoki ngwithyourearsand
eyes..
.t
hereisnowor ki
ngthingsout.Youhur t
meandIdi dn'
tknowwhybutnowIdo. .andI
don'tevenifit
'str
ueornotbutwhatIknowi s.
.I
l
ov eSphamandl aalotandIwon'tl
etany thi
ng
comebet weenusdoy ougetme? i
fyout rul
y
l
ov emet heny ouwil
lstayaway!
Hi
m:Li
na.
.
Me:
andt
hisshoul
dbet
hel
astt
imey
oucal
l
me.
..

AndwiththatIhungup.Isi
ghed,hehurtme
andIdon'
tcarewhyhedi di
tmainlineishehur
t
me,t
urnednylif
eupsidedown,destr
oyedmy
l
ifeandNowthatam t
ryi
ngt ofi
xitheshowsup
expect
ingmetojumpalloverhi
m.Hemustbe
ki
ddingme.Whodoeshet hi
nkheis?
.
.
Igotinmycarandst art
eddr iv
inghomebut
changedt heroadalongwayanddr oveto
Spha'shouse.WhenIar rivedIsawhi scar
Parkedsoi tmeanshewasal r
eadyhome.I
i
nhaledandexhal eddeepl ybeforeIcouldget
offthecarandwal ki nsi
de.Iwal kedinsideand
hewasf ocusedont heTV.Icl earedmyt hr
oat
andhej ustglancedatmet henbackt otheTV
again.Igotstart
ledwhenIhear dsomeone
screamingSpha' snamet hatIturned.Itwas
Eri
c..

Er
ic:
ohhheyLi
l
i.
.
Me:
hey
y..
wrongt
ime?
Hi
m:no.
..
Iwasal
readyl
eav
ingbyt
heway
..
.
Me:
ohhok.
..
Er
ic:
ummhbr
uhseey
out
omor
row.
.

Andwitht
hathewalkedout
,sowewereonly2
now.Iwal
kedovert
ohim andsatbesi
des.

Me:youknow,Idi
dn'
tmeanthatIdon'twanna
getmarri
edsomeday..Idobutnotnownow
yousee.
.
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
Godwhyar
eyoubei
ngl
i
ket
his?
Hi
m:l
i
kewhat
?
Me:
that
!!
!why
?
Him:
whydoyouthi
nkam goi
ngt
ohur
tyou.
.t
he
samewayPhi
li
pdid.
.?
Me:
what
?am notdoi
ngt
hat
..
Hi
m:ohhr
eal
l
y?
Me:
i
tsnor
mal
tobescar
ed.
.
Him:yeahbutit
snotnormalwhenyoukeep
t
hinki
ngt haty
ourcur
rentboyf
ri
endwil
ldowhat
yourExdid.Youdon'
tseemedoingthat
..
Me:
that
'snott
rue.
.am notdoi
ngt
hat
..
Hi
m:gol
ooky
our
sel
font
hemi
rr
or.
.
Me:
okf
inemay
bebut
..
.am sor
ryj
ustt
hatPhi
l
ip.
.
Hi
m:am nothi
m!!

Hest
oodupandwal
kedaway
..

Me:
babe.
..

Andhewasgone. I'
m al
readyrui
ningmyown
rel
ati
onship.Ifel
tfr
eshtearsstr
eam down.Thi
s
daysallIeverdoiscrycryandcry.Isi
l
ent
ly
cri
ed.Ihavetogetgrip.Am surewasn'tgoi
ng
toloseSphaov ert
his..Istoodupwipedmy
tearsandwalkedtohisr oom,hewasn'tt
her
eso
Iwenttohisstudy.Hewast her
efocusedonhis
l
aptop.

Me:am r
eal
l
ysor
ry,
Ipr
omi
seIwi
l
lst
op.
please
f
orgiv
eme. .
.

Hedi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng.
..

Me:
mut
e?ok.
..Pl
easesaysomet
hing!
Hi
m:l
i
kewhat
?
Me:
wel
ll
ikeokIf
orgi
vey
ou?

Hej
ustchucked
Me:okfi
neanythi
ngi
sfi
neany
thi
ngev
enIhat
e
youisst
il
lok.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Me:Ilov
ey out
ooandam sor
ryImadey
ouf
eel
l
ikethat.
.Am r
eal
l
yextr
asorr
y..
Hi
m:comeher
e

Iwal
kedovert
ohisdesk..
.Hemademesi
tin
fr
ontofhi
m onthedesk.

Hi
m:i
tsok.
.y
ouknowIcan'
tst
aymadaty
ou.
.
Me:
i
sthatagoodt
hing?
Hi
m:i
nyourcasei
tis.

Hestoodupandki ssedme.Het ookof

fmytop
fol
l
owedbymybr a.Hekissedmyneckwhil
e
soft
lybi
tingashishandsundidmybelt
.Wi
thin
afewmi nuteshewasthrusti
nghardwi
thmeon
histable.Today 'ssexwasn' tsoftbutr ough.He
wasbei ngr oughonmebuti twasgood.Iwas
reachingmycl i
maxwhenhepul ledout ,
gotme
offthet abl eandmademet oucht het abl
ewi t
h
him behi ndme.Hewashi tt
ingitf r
om
behind,hittingi tgood.Itwaspai nfull
ygood.
Afterawhi leIf eltmybodyt enseandIr eached
myor gasm. ."Spha"Imut teredsof tly
.Hecame
i
mmedi at elyaf terme.AsIwasst il
ltr
y i
ngt o
catchmybr eathhepi ckedmeandmyl egs
wer earoundHi swai st.Hewal kedwi thmeunt i
l
mybackwasagai nstthewal landheent ered
mesl owl y.Isweart hi
sni ggawast ry
ingt okil
l
me.Hemov edmybodyupanddownonhi s
shaftandIcl osedmyey esandenj oyedeach
andev eryt hrust.Hewasdoi ngwonder stome
andIdi dn' twanthi mtost op
.
.
.
*
*
[
06/
15,
20:
20]Ron:
#Inser
t30
.
.
.
LI
NA
*
*2MONTHSLATER*
*
.
.
.
Neverinmyl i
fehadIev erthoughtthatt here
will
beamomentwer eonlyhappinessr uled,
wereIwoul dsmilefr
eelyandsot rul
y .Looking
downbackont heli
neIwassel fi
shandnev er
real
lydealtwi
thmyi ssues,
Ialwayshadt of i
nd
somet hi
ngtoblameon.Ev ersinceImetSphaI
mayf reel
ysaythingschanged,atfirstitwasf or
him,IwasdoingItforhi
m butnowam doi ngit
forme.Iam l i
vingmyl ifef ormewi ththe
suppor tofthepeopl eIl ovedear l
y .Atfirstitfelt
strangebutnowIhav egr ownt ol ov ebeing
l
ov edbyt hepeopl eIl ov e.Ev ent houghal l t
his
i
shappi l
ybutdur ingt hat2mont hsAl i
ce
passedon.Herdeat hbr okemet hesameway
mymot hersdeat hbr okeme.Wedi dev ery t
hing
onherbucketl istandIhadgr ownt olov eher
andst i
llIdo.Italsobr okehermot herand
brother,i
twaspai nf ul wat chinghermom cr yfor
herlit
tledaught er.Shemi ghthav ebeeny oung
butshewasapar tofapuzzl eandnowwi thher
deadt hepuzzl eisl efti ncompl ete.Ittookt i
me
tomov eonbutwi tht hehel pofSphaam get ting
there.Todayi tsouranni ver sarywi thSpha, we
areturning3mont hsandnott hatt hethr ee
mont hswer ef ullofr osesbutwehadourups
anddowns, fights,t
ear s,sneaki ng
around,happinessandev ery t
hingel se.Idon' t
regretbeingwi thSpha, he'smyl i
f elineandI
l
ov ehim bey ondwor ds.MeandCr aigwest i
ll
ti
ghtasev eraswel l asmeandTany a.Wel l
she'sdat ingDani el now, itssti
llnewbutbyt he
l
ooksoft hingst heydol ov eeachot her .Jer emy
i
sJer emyandhedoeswhatJer emydoesbest ,
I
al
sol aterfoundoutt hatJor danahi sJer emy 's
si
st er.SinceJer emy '
smom wasdi schar ged
fr
om t hehospi tal Inev erseehimt hatmuchand
i
t'
sbet terthatwaybel ieveme.Jor danahkeeps
hi
nt ingonhowmeandherbr otherwoul dmake
aper f
ectcoupl eifonl ysheknewmeand
Jeremycan' tevenengagei naci vil
conv ersationf orev enasecond.Phi li
pwent
backt oschool whi chi sgood.Ial sonev ersaw
Karenev eragai nwhi chal soisagoodt hi ng,I
hopeshest ay swher ev ershei sfor ev er.SoasI
wasst il
lsay ingtodayi tsmyanni v ersar ywi th
SphaandIhadpr epar edsomet hingni cef orus.
Ihadcookedhi sf av our i
temeal ,
seti tupont he
balcony .Iputr osesont hebedandal l ov ert he
fl
oorl ikeinmov i
es.I tmi ghtnotlookt hatdéj à
vubutwel lItri
ed.Iev enf i
ll
edthebat hand
thr
ewabi tofrosesinside.Ididn'twear
anythingunderneathmyr edsilkygown.Itooka
l
ookofmy sel
fonthemi r
rorandIdi dlookgood
nolie.Iletmycurlyhairlose.Isawhi scardri
ve
i
nt hrought hebal
conyandIwentbacki nsi
de
andsatonhi sbedwai t
ingforhi m.Andas
expect edhecamei n.Hewassur pr
ised.
.

Hi
m:wowbabe!
!
Me:
doy
oul
i
kei
t?
Hi
m:ar
eyouki
ddi
ngmeIl
ovei
t
Me:
am gl
ad.
.
Hi
m:butwhat
'st
heoccasi
on?
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Hi
m:whatar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ng?

Igav
ehim adeadl
ylook,
hedi
dn'
tfor
getour
anni
ver
sar
ydidhe?Iwasgett
ingmad..
.
Hi
m:l
olam onl
yjoki
ngbabes.
..
jeezy
oul
ooked
r
eadyt
okil
l!
Me:
thatwasn'
tfunny
..
Him:f
ineam sor
ry.
.Happyanni
ver
sar
ytous
babe.
..

Ismi l
ed,thisdaysIdon'tknowwhat 'swrong
withme.Iam soshor ttemperedmor ethanthe
usual.Igetmadandf rustr
atedeasil
yevenget
emot i
onal onotherbasisanditsickensme!But
Ididn'
ttellanyonesoIt rybyall
meanst ohideit
.
Somet i
mesSphaj ustannoy smet oamomentI
feell
ikejustcryi
ng.

Me:
comel
et'
sgoeat
..
Hi
m:canIhav
ewhat
'
sundert
hegownf
ir
st?
Me:
no!
!come.
.
Il
edhi
mtot
hebal
conyandwesatdown.
..

Hi
m:andshecookedmyf
avor
it
e..
Me:
youknowme.
.
Him:youar
ethebestthi
ngthathasever
happenedtomeLina.AndIloveyousomuch.
.
Me:
andIl
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hi
m:howwasy
ourday
?
Me:
i
twasok,
onl
yitr
emi
ndsmeofAl
i
ce
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
ladj
ustwi
tht
ime.
..
Me:
yeah.
.andy
ou?
Hi
m:sameol dsameol
dshi
t!
any
wayhowwas
t
hedizzyspell
s?

Andal
sot oaddt
othel
istIhavebeenfeel
i
ng
di
zzy
,itcomesandgobutneverreal
l
ygoaway
sometimes.Iguessi
tsbecauseoft
hebalance
probl
emsIhav esoIneverputmuchthoughtt
o
i
t.

Me:
i
thappenedi
nthemor
ningonl
ybutam f
ine
Him:don'
tyout
hinki
tst
imeweseet
hedoct
or
onceandforal
l.
.
Me:youwantust
ofi
ght?
Itol
dyouit
'snor
mal
,
its
causedbymybal
anceprobl
ems.
.
Him:
wellt
here'
sadi
ff
erencebet
weenhav
ing
bal
anceprobl
emsandfeel
ingdi
zzy
..
Me:
canwedr
opi
t?
Hi
m:ofcause
Me:
good

Weatedinnerhav
ingaconver
sat
ionher
eand
t
her
e.Itwasnicethough.
Hi
m:sowhatdi
dyoubuyme?
Me:
Iwi
l
lshowy
oul
ater
.
Hi
m:ok.
..

Af
tereat
ingIpl
ayedt
hest
ereoandsof
tsongs
pl
ayed.

Hi
m:i
sitt
het
imef
ordeser
t?
Igi
gglednoddi ngmyheady es.Hecameov erto
meandt ookof fmygown.Hebi thisl
owerlip
whil
ehi sey esexaminedmyneckedbodywi t
h
l
ustf
ul eyes.Hebr oughthisfaceclosertomine
andIcoul df eelhi
swarm breathonmyl ips.My
bodyshiv er
edt hemomenthi shandsgoti nto
cont
actwi t
hmybar eback.Hebr oughtour
bodi
escl osert oeachother.
.

Hi
m:y
ousmel
lgood.
..
Hewhi sper
ed.
..
.Hishandswenttomyassand
squeezedasIletoutaloudgasp.
.

Hi
m:andy
ouar
ebeaut
if
ulal
so.
..

Hepushedmeont hebed,andbef or
eIcoul d
evenutt
eranysinglewordhe'sheadwasbur ied
deepbetweenmyl egs,Iwasalreadypanting,
thr
usti
nghisheaddeeper .
"hol
yfuck!!
".
.Iknew
hewasgoingt okeepupwi tht
hef aulplaybutI
wantedhim asinyest
erday!

Me:
Spha.
..
.
Hi
m:y
es.
..

Hi
sli
pswer
enowonmyneck.
Me:
I.
.want
..
you.
.
Hi
m:what
?Icantheary
ou.
..

Iknewhewasdoi ngthatonpurpose,sot
o
makemat ter
seasyformeIsneakedmyhandi n
hispantsandsqueezedhismanhood.He
groanedpull
i
ngmyhandandt akingthem bot
h
thenplaci
ngthem ontopofmyhead.
HisPenetr
ati
oncameunexpect
ed.Thiswas
goingt
obeal ongni
ghtandIai
medt oenj
oyit
totheful
l
est.

Thefoll
owingdayIwokeupabi tear
li
er,
around
5tobeexact .Igotofft
hebed,worehi
sT-shirt
thenwenttomyhandbag.It ookthewatchIhad
boughtforhim,i
tdidhurtmypocketanditwas
worthi
t.Iplaceditbesi
deshisbedsi
deLamp.
TodayIwantedtogot owor kabitear l
i
ersoI
headedtotheshower.Afterbat
hing,Iwentback
i
nsidetheroom andniggawasst i
llsleepi
ng.I
dressedupandthenshookhi m softl
y..

Me:
Spha.
..

Hest
il
lremai
nedst
il
l.
.

Me:
babe.
.

Isai
drai
singmyv
oiceabi
t.
..

Hi
m:what
?

Hegr
oanedasheputt
hepi
l
lowonhi
shead.
.
Me:
wakeup.
.

Heremai
nedst
il
lagai
n,
hewasst
art
ingt
o
i
rr
it
ateme.

Me:
Sphamandl
a!!
!!
Hi
m:womanst
opscr
eami
ng!
!Whatt
heeee?
?

Herol
l
edoutofbedandwenttot
hebathr
oom
mumbli
ngsomethi
ng.Af
terawhi
lehecame
backf
ull
ydr
essedi
nhisPj'
s.

Hi
m:wecango.
.

Istoodup,
tookmyphoneandfol
l
owedhi
m
outsi
de.Hedrovemehomeandasusual
stoppedbythestr
eetcor
ner
..
.
Hi
m:okIl
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
am Iseei
ngy
out
oday
?
Hi
m:Ihav
eabusydayschedul
edbutt
omor
row.
.
Me:
ohhok.
.
Hi
m:don'
tbesad,
wearegoi
ngt
oSpendt
he
whol
eweekendtoget
her
Me:
asi
fmyf
atherwoul
dlett
hathappen.
.
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
..

Heki
ssedme.
..

Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouok?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
.
.
Igotof
fHiscarandranhome.WhenIgot
i
nsidet
hehouseIfoundCrai
gbusyonhis
phonei
ntheli
vingr
oom.
Hi
sattent
ionshi
ft
edf
rom hi
sphonet
ome
whenhesawme.

Hi
m:st
il
lsneaki
ngIsee.
.
Me:
whatar
eyouonabout
?
Hi
m:SNEAKI
NG!
!
ME:
shhhh.
..
youwantdadt
oheary
ou?
Hi
m:l
ol.
..
Ithi
nki
tst
imey
ouj
ustmov
einwi
th
hi
m
Me:
shutup.
.
Hi
m:am t
ell
i
ngy
ou.
.

Iwentupst
air
stomyr
oom compl
etel
yignor
ing
hi
m.
.
.
Iwasnowwal kinginsi
det hehospitalt
o
Daniel'
soff
ice,todayDanielwi l
lbealit
tlel
ate
soIwi l
lbehandl i
ngthepat i
entsalone.Iwalked
i
nsidetheof f
iceandset t
leddown.Il ookedov er
thefi
lesIwillhandli
ngtoday .Iwasstil
lbusy
whenIheardaknock. .
.

Me:
comei
n..

Iwasexpecti
ngittobeapat
ientbuti
twas
Jeremy,
am surehe'
sher
etothrowhiswei
ght
around.

Hi
m:mor
ning
Me:
DrSi
monsi
snoti
n..
.
Hi
m:andwhosai
dam her
eforhi
m?
Me:
thenwhatar
eyouher
eforMrDr
ew?
Hi
m:t
obeexami
ned,
am si
ck.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:soy
ouar eher
etobeexami
nedbya
pr
emature?
Hi
m:y
es.
..
cany
ougetst
art
ed?
Me:
si
t!

Hecameandsat.
.

Me:
sowhat
'swr
ong?
Hi
m:Ihav
efl
u..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:Ihav
efl
u
Me:
thengotot
hephar
macysect
orandget
Al
egi
csorsomefl
umedici
ne!
Hi
m:andsomechestpai
ns.
.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?Iknowy
ounotsi
ck
Him:
okmymom i
sfondofyousoshewant
s
yout
ocomej
oinusfordi
nner
Me:
asi
njoi
nyourf
ami
l
yfordi
nner
??
Hi
m:It
hinkt
hat
'swhatIsai
d..
Me:youmustbekiddingme,
there'
snowayam
goi
ngtositinthesameroom withyouorev
en
worseeatthesamefoodwit
hy ou
Hi
m:whydoy
oual
way
shav
etobel
i
ket
his?
Me:
whyar
eyoual
way
smean?
Hi
m:okf
ineam sor
ryf
orbei
ngmean.
.
Me:whydoy
ouwantmet
her
e?It
houghty
ou
hat
edme?
Him:Idon'thateyouok!!Pl
easecome.Mom
sai
di fIdon'tcomebackwithyouthenI
shouldn'
tev envi
sither
..
Me:
l
oly
ourpr
obl
em notmi
ne
Hi
m:GodLi
na!
Me:nowi
fyouwi
l
lexcusemeIhav
ethi
ngst
o
do
Hi
m:eit
herwedot
hist
heeasywayort
hehar
d
way.
.
Me:
andwhat
'st
hatsupposedt
omean?
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
lsee.
.

Hest oodup,fi
xedhi ssuitthatfi
thim perfectly,
hewaswel l
buf f
ed..Thebadguyi nasui tkind
ofguywasJer emy ,
hewasv eryhandsomebut
yettherewassomet hingabouthi mthatpr oved
thattherewassomet hingoffabouthim andhe
l
ookedl i
ketheki ndtof uckyouthendon' t
remembery ournamet hefol
lowingday.He
stoodupandl eft.Isighedwi t
hreli
ef.Istoodup
andwentf orthedoorwhenIsuddenl yfeltdizzy.
Myv isi
onwasbecomi ngblureandsoI
balancedmy selfwiththewal l
.BeforeIknowi t,
I
wasont
hef
loorandt
henbl
ackedout
.
.
.
.
Iwokeupinhospi
tal
bed,t
hat
'swhenital
lcame
backtomeonhowIendedupher e.Ij
ust
wonderedwhatwaswrongwit
hme.Af t
era
whil
eDaniel
camein..

Me:
hey
y
Hi
m:hey
,howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
good,
what
'swr
ongwi
thme.
.?
Hi
m:wel
lseemsli
key
ouar
e2mont
hsanda
weekpr
egnant
..

Il
aughedhardi
nf act
..
thatwasthemost
hi
lar
ioust
hingIhaveeverhear
d..
Me:
that
'sf
unnyhey
Hi
m:noser
ious,
youar
epr
egnant
..
.
Me:
that
'snotf
unnyDani
el.
.
Hi
m:okf
inewhenl
astdi
dyouhav
eyourper
iods?

Comet ot hi
nkofitthiswhol e2mont hspassed
withoutmegoi ngtomyper iods.God;
!Why
didn'
tIreali
sethisal
lalong?Al lthesi
gnswere
thereandIchoset oignoret hem andint
opof
thatIneverreal
lyusedpr otecti
onwhenhav i
ng
sex.HowcanIbesost upid?

Me:
are.
.y
..
yousur
e?
Hi
m:100%

Iwassodead,
whatwasIgoingtotel
l
dad.
.wor
seSpha.
.whathadIgot
tenmy sel
f
i
nto?Iam st
il
lachil
dmy sel
f.
..
.Tear
sbur
nedmy
eyes.
.t
hiscannotbehappeni
ngnotnowat
l
east.
..
.
.
.
.
*
*Tobecont
inued*
*
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
#Inser
t31
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Ever
ythi
ngwasj ustamess,
howcoul
dIl
etsuch
tohappen.Thi
sisnothowIimagi
nedmy
l
ife,pregnancywasi nf actt helastt hingi nmy
mi nd.At21, Ihadpl annedt ofinishmyschool
wor k, getmar riedar oundl ate20' sandki ds
ear l
y30' s.Thatwast hepl anbutwhatnow?
Howcoul dIbesof oolishandwor semyf at
her.
Ihav edi sappoi ntedhi m,thiswast hewor st
thingIcoul dev erdo.Ihel dmyt ummyandt he
i
deaofabor ti
oncr eptinmymi ndbutt henam
notmur der.Idon' twannabeoneoft hose
womanwhoki llthei runbor nbabi esbesi desits
allagai nstmypr i
nci pals.Ev ent houghIwas
wor riedaboutev erythingel semybi ggestwor ry
wasSpha.Whatwoul dhesay ?may behe
doesn' twantt hebaby .
..Ishutmyey estightly
hopi ngt owakeupf rom t hebaddr eam.But
thenagai nitwasr ealit
y ,
thet ruthIdi dn'twant
tof ace.Ist artedmycarandj ustdr ov ewer ethe
roadl edme, Ineededsomet i
meal onesome
ti
met othinkt hingsov er.Iswi tchedof fmy
phonet heni twasonl ymeandmyr adio.I
stoppedmycarwhenIgott oapoi ntwer ethe
roadcamet oanend.Ij ustl ayedbacki nmycar
asIwat chedthef or
est.May beifIspoket o
Sphaf i
rst,
thenwecandeci det ogetherasa
couple.Itookadeepbr eath, discussingthi
s
withSphawast hebestt hingIcoul ddo.Idrove
back,anddr ov
est r
aightt ohi swor kplace.I
t
wasn'tevenar oundluncht imebutt hatdidn'
t
botherme.Ineededt ospeakwi thhim and
speakt ohim now.Ther ecept i
onistwast here
today.

Me:
hi,
Iam her
etoseeSpha.
.
Her
:doy
ouhav
eanappoi
ntment
?
Me:
Idon'
tneedone,
am hi
s..
lookj
ust
..
ishei
n?
Her:
yesbutunfor
tunat
elyhei
sbusy
,he'
sina
meeti
ngsohowabouty ousetan
appoi
ntment.
..
.
Me:
i
tsi
mpor
tant
,ver
yagent
Her
:wel
lregar
dlessoft
haty
ouneedt
ohav
ean
appoint
mentandMrZwel
ani
hasav
erybusy
schedul
e.
Me:
whi
chpar
tofi
t'
simpor
tantdon'
tyouget
?
Her
:mam l
i
keam say
ing.
..

Ididn'
tevenwai tforhert ofinish,
Ihadal ready
chargedfort hel
ift.Ineededt oseeSpha, i
twas
i
mpor tant.Thel i
ftwast akingi t
stimesoIwent
forthestair
sandr ushedt ohi sf l
oor.WhenIgot
tohisdoort hereceptioni
stwasal soget ti
ngout
ofthelif
t.Ididn'
tev enknock, Ibustopent he
doorandwi thmeget ti
ngi nsidether ecepti
onist
wasbehi ndme. .
Hewassi tti
ngther
ewi t
hsomeone,awomanto
beexact.Mymi nddidn'
trunawaywit
hme
becausethewomanwasal mosthi
smother
s
age.Ifi
guredshewast hecli
ent
.Wrongt
imi
ng?

Recept
ioni
st:
Am sosor
rysi
rIt
ri
edt
ost
opher
butshej
ust
..
.
Spha:
noi
tsok.
..
Pear
l.Iwi
l
ltakei
tfr
om her
e.

Af
terthatbei
ngsai
dshewal
kedoutl
eav
ing
me,Sphaandthecl
i
ent.

Hi
m:Mr
sAgat
haasecondpl
ease.
.
Her
:goahead.
..

Hestoodup,walkeduptomeandl edme
out
sidtgeoff
ice.Hedi
dn'tl
ookangryor
any
thinginst
eadhelookedrat
herastoni
shed.

Hi
m:hey
y
Me:
hi
Hi
m:i
sev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
yes.
.I
..
ummh
Hi
m:j
ustr
elaxbabe.
.andt
ell
mewhat
'
swr
ong.

Itookadeepbreat
h,wer
ewasItost
art
?May
be
thi
swasallgoi
ngtobetoomuchonhim.

Hi
m:come.
.

Heledmetothi
sroom,Ibel
iev
editwast he
boardr
oom wi
ththewayitwasarranged.He
mademesitonthetabl
e.Hebroughthisface
cl
osert
omine..
.

Hi
m:qui
cki
e?
Me:
no.
..
nother
e..
Him:
vi
bekil
l
er..
.Goshnottobeapervetbutyou
l
ooksobeauti
ful
..
.Iswearwhenwegetmar r
ied
Iwoul
dn'
twannahav eki
dsimmedi
ately
..
.
Hesai
downingmyl
ipst
henaf
terawhi
l
epul
l
ed
out
.Hesmi
ledatme.

Me:
youdon'
twantki
ds?
Him:Idobutnotnow. .Af
terwegetmarri
ed
maybeay earaf
terourmarri
age.Pl
usr
ightnow
Idon'tt
hinkitst
herightmomenttohav
eki ds.
Me:
whatwi
l
lyoudoi
fIwaspr
egnant
?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowbuty
ouar
enotsogoi
ngback
t
oreal
it
ywhatisi
t?
Me:
wit
hwhat
?
Hi
m:whatbr
oughty
ouher
ebesi
desi
tsnotev
en
l
uncht
ime..
.So.
.
Me:
ohh.
.I
..
.wel
l
..I
..
Imi
ssedy
ou.
.

Icoul
dn'
ttel
lhi
m,hedidn'
twantki
ds.Idon'
t
wanttor
uinhisl
if
eplans,
thatmomentmymi nd
wasmadeup.Therewon'tbeanybaby,i
would
j
usttakecar
eofi
t.Il
ovedSphaal
ott
olosehi
m
overanunbor
nbaby.

Hi
m:babe!
!Imissedyoutoo.
..
doyouknowhow
muchIlov
ey ou.Iwoul
dpracti
cal
l
ydoanyt
hing
f
oryou.
Me:
andIl
ovey
out
oo.
..
Ilov
eyousomuch.
.
Hi
m:sot
hequi
cki
e?
Me:
Sphano.
..
.Noti
nher
e..
Hi
m:babe.
.
Me:
No!
!
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcat
chy
out
omor
row.
.

Hecamecl oserandkissedmeagain.Ikissed
hi
m backbutpulledbeforethi
ngscoul
dgetout
ofhand.Ineededtoeli
mi nat
ethebabytoday.
Me:
ummh.
.Ibet
tergetback.
..
towor
k
Hi
m:what
?comeon.
.
Me:
MrsAgat
hai
swai
ti
ngSpha.
..
Hi
m:shecangoandf
uckher
sel
f

Hesaidgroani
ng.
..Ij
ustchuckl
edget
ti
ngof
f
hi
stable.

Me:
Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eyouokbabe?
Me:
coul
dn'
tbebet
ter
..
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e..
Me:
yes,
bye.
..

Isai
dget
ti
ngt
othedoor
..
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
e..

Iwal kedawayandwentt omycar ,drov ebackt o

thehospi talbutt hentookadi fferentr oute.I
coul dn'tr
eallydoi tatthehospi t
al wer eI
wor ked.Idr ovet oanotherpr ivatehospi t
al.This
wasf orthebest .Itwast hebest ,
i
thadt obe.
WhenIar r
ivedatt hehospi talIexpl ai
nedmy
situationtot her ecept
ionistandshel edmet o
somesect ionoft hehospital.Shewentwi t
hme
tot hisoffi
ce, therewasaf emal edoct orin.Isat
i
nsi det heofficeast herecept i
oni st
disappear ed.

Dr
:hel
l
o
Me:
hi.
.
Her
:soIunder
standy
ouwantt
oabor
t?
Me:
yes
Her
:ummhy
ourname?
Me:
LinaVanGeor
ge
Her:
okLina,
youdoknowt
herear
eotheropt
ions
youknow..Li
kegi
vi
ngupthechi
l
dforadopt
ion.
.
Me:
no.
.t
hat
snotwhatIwant
..
I.
..
Her:
youcangobackhomeandr
ethi
nky
our
deci
sion.Howol
darewe?
Me:
2mont
hsandaweek.
.
Her:
Howabouty
ouj
ustgobackhomeand
r
ethi
nkthi
s..
Me:
no,
IknowwhatIwant
..Andt
hisi
sit
..
Hi
m:ok.
..
ummhgi
vemeami
nut
e..

Shewalkedoutoftheoffi
ce.Iclosedmyey es
assoonasIwasal one.Iknowam abadper son
ri
ghtnow,amurderbutwhatcanIdo? Spha
doesn'
tseem t
owantchi l
dren.
..Iwasst uck
betweenahardplaceandar ock.Ibrushedmy
tummyasf reshtear
sst r
eameddown. "
Iam so
sorr
y,Ir
eallyam."Iwhi sper
edsof t
ly.WasI
real
l
yki l
l
ingmybaby ?Iwasn'treadyforthi
s,
it
wasal l
toomuch.Iwi pedmyt earsassoonasI
heardthedooropeni ngandclosing.Shecame
backholdingaf i
l
e..

Her
:ok,
am goi
ngt
ohav
etot
esty
ouagai
n..
.
Me:
i
tsok.
..

Shetookmyblood.
..Thenwalkedoutagain.
Shetookl
ongerthi
stimearound.Iwishedal
l
thi
scanhappensoitgetsoveranddonewi t
h.
Shecamebackholdinganotherpaper.
.

Her
:ok.
.y
ouarepregnant
..Sowhatam goi
ngt
o
doi
sgiveyouthi
spill
s.
Shesaidhandingmesomepi l
l
sindi
ff
erent
small
containers.Theot
heronewaslabel
led
A,
theotheroneBandt helastC.

Her
:youwil
ltakeAnow, Baroundl unchti
me
t
henCatnight.Butt
omakei tcleartoyouonce
t
hecontr
acti
onsstartoroncey out aket
hispi
ll
s
t
here'
snogoingback.
Me:
ok.
.ar
ether
eanysi
deef
fect
s?
Her:
no..
justt
akethepi
l
lsandev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lgo
accor
dingtoplan.
.
Me:
ok.
.

Istoodupandwal kedoutofthehospi
talwit
ha
total
lyzonedoutmi nd.Idrovehomethenwent
ont olockmy selfinmyr oom.Icri
edalot,
I
wasn'tmur der,Irefusetobeone.Toeventhink
therewasapoi ntwer eIregar
dedabort
ionas
thebiggestsinsomeonecoul deverdoandnow
am consi deringit.Whatki ndofaper sondoes
thatmakeme.It ookt hepi l
ls,alloft hem then
spilledt hem inthet oilet.Iwasgoi ngt okeep
mypr egnancyandi fSphadoesn' twantt he
childIwi l
ltakeofmychi l
dal one.Iknowdad
wi l
lbemadbuthewi llneverl eavemeouti nthe
cold.Hewi l
lcomear ound, hewi l
l hav eto.I
needhi m nowmor et hanev er.May beIneeded
togetaway ,andt akecar eofmybabyf araway
from t hisplace...It ookdeepexhal esand
i
nhal es.Iwoul dkeept hebaby ,
tel
l Sphaandi f
hedoesn' twantt henmov eawayf rom her eand
relocat esomewher eel sethenaf tert hattake
car ei fmybaby .
.Mydr eam wast hatwhenI
hav eki dsonedayt heywoul dhav eanor mal
homewi t
hbot hpar ent s.Iwi shedt hatSpha
woul dunder stand. .
.Hehadt o.Isatdownon
thef loorwi thmyheadbur iedbet weenmyl egs.
Suddenl yIhear dar oughknockont hedoor ,one
woul dsweart heper sonwant edt obr eakt he
door .Hi svoicescr eamedmyname, i
twasSpha. .
Iknewhi
svoi
ceMor
ethanIknewmy
sel
f
Hi
sknocksr
emai
nedconst
ant
..

Hi
m:Li
naopenup!
!!

Itookadeepbreat
hbeforewalki
ngtothedoor
andopeningit
.HewasfumingIcouldseeeven
hi
sey eswerenott
hesofteyesam usedto.
..

Him:Ihopey oudidn'
tdoanythi
ngt
omybaby
Linabecauseheav ensknowswhatIwi
l
ldot
o
you.Iwon'thesi
tatekil
l
ingyou!

Iswall
owedahugelampt hatwasst
uckofmy
thr
oat.Howdidheknow?TheSphathatstood
i
nf r
ontofmemeantbusinessandhewasn't
j
okingatal
l.Hel
ookedtoodamnserious.
Hi
m:di
dyoudr
inkt
hepi
l
lsLi
naVanGeor
ge?
Me:
no.
..
.Icoul
dn'
t.
.
Him:howcoul
dyouev
ent
hinkofki
l
li
ngour
chi
ld?Howcouldy
ou?
Me:Iwasscar
ed.
.You.
..
yousai
dyoudon'
twant
ki
dsso..
Hi
m:ar
eyouhear
ingyoursel
f?Soyouwantedto
ki
l
lmybabyj
ustbecauseIsaidIdon'
twantki
ds?
Me:Ididn'
tok!
Icoul
dn'
tdoi
t!
!Iwasf
reaki
ng
scared..
.

Iscr
eamedt
his.
..
.

Hi
m:don'ty
oudarerai
sey
ourvoiceatmeI
wasn'
ttheonet
ryi
ngtoki
llani
nnocentsoul
.
.
Me: f
uckyou!
!howcanyousaythat?Icouldn'
t
ok,
Ilovet
hisbabyt
hat
's.
.t
hat'
swhyIdidn'tdo
i
t..
whatdoyouwantmet osay.
.what?
Iwasnowcr y
ing,hehadnor i
ghtt
ot al
ktome
l
ikethat
.ThefactthatIdidn'
tgothroughwi
thi
t
shouldt
ell
him something..

Hi
m:It
houghty
ouki
l
ledourbaby
..

Hesai
dcomi
ngt
omeandembr
aci
ngme.Il
eti
t
al
lout
..

Hi
m:am sor
rysnuggl
es.
.Am sosor
ry.
.
Me:
I.
..
I.
..
am.
.scar
ed.
.
Him:
don'tbe,
wear
eint
hist
oget
her
..
.Il
ovey
ou
andourchil
d..
Me:
wel
ovey
out
oo.
..
mydadwon'
tbehappy
..
Hi
m:hewil
lsur
viv
e..
.Iwantthi
schl
l
dtogrowup
i
nahealt
henvi
ronments.
..
werebot
hpar
ents
ar
ether
e
Me:
met
oo.
..
.Iwantt
hesanet
hingt
oo.
.
Him:
andsoIguessy
ouknowwhatt
hismeans
r
ight
?.

I
ttookmesomet i
metogetwhathewassay i
ng.
.
Wast hi
st heri
ghttimeformarri
age?Wasn'tI
t
ooy oungf orsuch?Butthenagaini
fthi
s
meanst hatmybabyhav eastablehomet hen
whynot?
.
.
.
It
sbeenaweeksi ncewef oundoutaboutmy
pregnancy ,nobodyknewexpectus.Thenews
wasst il
lhighlyconf i
dent
ial.Sphawasr at
her
excited.Excitedaboutbei ngmar ri
edtomeand
totopi texcitedt hathewasgoi ngtobe
someone' sf ather.Iwasn'tshowi ng,i
twas
betterthatway ,
fornowIguess.Thedi zzi
ness
wasbecomi ngwor seandsomet imesIwoul d
j
ustgett ir
ed.Sot i
redthatIwon'tbeablet odo
anyt
hingot herthanlayi
ngonmybed.Todaywe
weregoingt otellSpha'
sparentsaboutt he
l
atestdev el
opmentandaf t
er,
wet ell
myf ather
andDebr a.TobehonestIwassoscar ed.
Maybedadwi lldi
sownmyasst henIwi l
l beleft
wit
hnof amily
.Wewer enowatt hedoorst opof
hi
spar entshouse..

Spha:
rel
ax,
theywi
l
llov
eyou.
..
mypar
ent
sar
e
ver
ylovi
ng.
.
Me:
am ner
vous.
..
.Howwi
l
ltheyt
aket
henews?
Hi
m:am sur
etheywi
l
lbeexci
ted.
.
Me:
Ihopeso,
Iser
iousl
yhopeso.
..

Heopenedt hedoor
,t
henledmein.Wefound
hi
sparentssit
teddowninthel
ounge.
I
mmedi at
elyhispar
entsl
ookedatus.
..
Spha:
mor
ningdadandmom.
.
Mr
:Zwel
ani
:
son,
wel
come.Hel
l
oLi
na
Me:
mor
ningSi
r.
.
MrZwel
ani
:
cal
lmedad.
.
Me:
okdad
MrZwel
ani
:that
'smuchbet
ter
..
.

Ismil
edatthatbutThel ookhismom gav
eme
wasenoughtogetmer unningoutoft
hei
r
house.Shehadthedisapprovingl
ook.

Her
:Sphadi
dn'
twet
alkaboutt
his?
Him:notnowpl
ease.
..
plust
hat
'
snotwhywear
e
here
MrZwel
ani
:ohhsohowcanwehel
p?
IsqueezedSpha'
shand.
..

Hi
m:meandLi
na.
.wear
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed.
.
Mr
sZwel
ani
:Godmustbet
est
ingme!

Shesai
dclappingherhands.What
'sgoi
ngon
her
e?Ithoughtsheli
kedme. .
.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
.
.
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t33
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Tobehonest , Iwasscar ed.Iwasbey ond
scared,Ij
usthopehedoesn' tdisownme, Iknow
he'sgoingt obeangr y,
veryveryangr y..
howam I
goingt ofacehi m.ReasonwhyIdi dn'twant
Sphacomi ngwi thisbecauseIknowwhatmy
dadcando. ..
hemayseem qui t
ebutIdon' twant
himr earr
angi ngSpha' sface.Ihavedeci dedto
atleasttellDebr afir
st,i
ncaset hi
ngsget
heatedshemi ghtbeablet ocalmt hi
ngs.Igot
i
nsidet hehouse, wentst rai
ghttot hekitchen
wereIf oundherpr epari
ngsupper .Debr ai s
Preschool teacherandbyt helooksoft hings
shetr
ulylov
esherj
ob.Shenot
icedmeassoon
asIgotinsi
det
hekit
chen.
.

Her
:ohh.
..
heyLi
na
Me:
eveni
ng.
.
Her
:howwaswor
k?
Me:
i
twasgood.
.
Her
:am gl
ad.
..

Thenshewentbackt
ocooki
ng,Ijustst
ood
ther
eli
keal
ostpuppy.HowdoItellher
?

Her
:ar
eyouok?

Sheaskedst
art
li
ngmeabi
t.
..
seemsl
i
keIhad
beendrawnt
omyownli
tt
leworl
d.
Me:
yes.
.ummh.
.I
..
.
Her
:I
sther
eany
thi
ngwr
ong?
Me:
noofcausenot
..
Her
:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
yes,
.
..

Shegav
emequest
ionabl
elook.
.

Me:
ok.
.t
her
e'ssomet
hingIneedt
otel
lyou.
.
Her
:ok.
.whati
sit
?
Me:
I.
..
ummmh.
..I
'
m..
..
.I
..
.pr
egnant
..

Iwhi
sper
ed.
..

Her
:Isuspect
ed.
.
Me:
how?
Her:
howy ounol ongereateggs,
butyouusedt o
l
ovet hem.Howy oueatsoftporri
dgewi t
h
may onnai
se,somethingyouneverdid.Howy ou
ar
eal waysti
redormoody ..
.Isuspectedyou
were..
Me:
Iam scar
ed.
.
Her:
Iknow,butdon'
tworry
..
.babi
esarenot
mist
akesbutgiftsf
rom God..
.Theyarea
bl
essing.
..
Me:
Dad?
Her:
Iforeseehi
m gett
ingangry
,buti
tsonl
y
normalhedoes,aft
erally
ouarehisdaughter
.
Hewillcomearound,mightnotbenowbut
soonenoughhewi l
l.
.
Me:
Ihopeso
Her
:sowhoset
hef
atherandwhatdoeshesay
?
Me:
i
tsSphamandl
aZwel
ani
andhe.
.Inf
act
..
.
Iwav
edmyhandi
nfr
ontofher
..
.

Her
:Wow!
!Thi
sri
ngi
ssobeaut
if
ul.
..
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t!
!
Her
:sohewant
syouguy
stogetmar
ri
ed?
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:andy
ou?Whatdoy
ousay
?
Me:
Il
ov eSpha.
..
andget
ti
ngmarr
iedwaspartof
t
heplanonlywedeci
deditt
obesooner
..
..
Her:
arey ousur
eyougett
ingmar
ri
edforthe
r
ightreasonsoryouar
ecompromisi
ng?
Me: atfi
rstIwascompromisi
ngbutnowIreal
l
y
wantt ogetmarri
edtoSpha..
Iwannawakeup
nexttohim eachmorni
ng..Hemakesme
happy..He'smysalv
ati
on..
Her
:thenIsuppor
tyourdeci
sion.
..Doeshi
s
par
entsknow?
Me:
yes,
he'
smom doesn'
tl
ikeme.
.
Her:don'
twor r
yaboutt hat
,af
teral
lyouar
e
mar ry
inghim nothismom. .Andonceshesees
youbot htogetheram sureshewil
lcome
around..
Me:
Ipr
ayshedoes,
UmmhCany
oupl
easebe
t
her
ewhenItel
ldad
Her
:ofcause.
.
Me:
Thanky
ou,
thanky
ouv
erymuch.
.

Isai
dembraci
ngher.Shemightnotbemymom
butshe'
sagoodguardi
an.
.
.
.
Am indad'soff
icer
ightnow,
tr
yingtot
ell
him
buthejustkeepint
err
upti
ngme. .

Me:
dadt
her
e'ssomet
hingIneedt
otel
lyou.
.
Him:ohhLi
na..
doyouknowt her
e'st
hishospi
tal
i
nLAt hatyouwil
ll
ove..
aft
eryourGr
aduati
on
babyam sureyouwil
ll
ovetowor kt
here.
..
Me:
dad!
Him:
Iwil
levenhi reMike,ourst
ateagent...
to
l
ookforaver ybeautif
ulhousefory ou.
..
.ohham
sopr
oudify ouLi na,
someofy ouragemat e's
di
dn'
tmakei tt hi
sfar,
theyarepregnantort hey
dr
ugaddict
's...Whereveryourmom i sshe's
pr
oud..

Il
ookedatDebrawhojustlookedatme.How
doItel
lhi
m am oneofthosegirl
swhoare
pr
egnant?Thi
sisgoi
ngt ocrushhim.
.

Him:
am sohappyforyou.
.youhav
emadet
he
VanGeorgef
amilyhappy.
.

If
orcedasmi
l
eon.
..
Hi
m:ok.
.sowhatdoy
ouwantt
otel
lme.
.
Me:
I.
..
.umhhh.
.I.
..

Il
ookedatDebr
awhogavemet
hegoahead
l
ook.
.Itookadeepbr
eat
h..

Hi
m:whati
sit
?
Me:
I.
..
.pl
easepr
omiseme.
..
thaty
ouwon'
tki
ck
meoutorhateme.
.
Hi
m:Icannev
erhatey
ouLi
na.
..
Ilov
eyou.
.You
ar
emydaughter
..
Me:
Ihavemessedupbigt
ime.
.AndIknowy
ou
wi
ll
neverf
orgi
veme..
Him:Linapeopl
emessupf
rom t
imetoti
me
again.Andtheyl
ear
nfr
om t
hei
rmist
akes.
.It
s
partofli
fe.
.
Me:
I'
m..
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
e?
Me:
ummh.
.Iwannagetmar
ri
ed.
.

Iwhi
sper
ed.
..
.

Hi
m:what
?
Me:
I.
..
wantt
ogetmar
ri
ed.
..
Hi
m: butyouar
estil
lyoungfort
haty
ouhav
ea
br
ightfut
ureaheadofyou..
Me:
Il
oveSpha.
.andIwannamar
ryhi
m..
Him:Lina.
..
baby..
youdon'
tknowwhatyouare
tal
ki
ngabout .
...
marri
agei
sahugestep..
.y
ouare
notreadyforthatst
ep.
Me:
butIl
oveSpha.
.
Hi
m:st
il
l.
.
Me:hemakesmehappy..I
tsnotl
i
keIwi
l
lst
op
school
..
.but
..
God!
dadpl
ease.
.
Hi
m:Iwannahav
eat
alkwi
thhi
m
Me:
soy
ouscar
ehi
m of
f?
Hi
m:nobutsoIknowhi
sint
ent
ionswi
thy
ou.
.
Me:
wear
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ednextmont
h..
Hi
m:what
?That
'scr
azy
..
Me:
whydon'
tyouwantmet
obehappy
?
Him:
that
'snott
hecaseLina!Icareabout
you.
..
andasyourf
atherIknowwhat 'sbestf
or
youandmarri
ageat21isnoti t
!!
Me:
I.
..
Iwannamar
rySpha.
..
please.
..
Hi
m:Li
na.
.

Ilettearsfl
ow,Iam notgoingtotellhim about
thepr egnancy.
..I
twil
lbreakhim..soifmeand
Sphagetmar ri
edthenextmont ht henhef i
nds
outwhi leam al
readymar r
iedatleastthatwon't
bet oomuchf orhim..
Him:
Linadon'
tcr
y..
.pumpkinmarri
agei
s
somethi
ngsohuge...
..
youdon'
tknowwhaty
ou
aret
alki
ngabout
..
Me:Iknow..
Ilov
eSpha.
..
andIwantt
ospendmy
f
uturewithhim..
Him:can'
tyouwai
tforaf
ewy
ear
s,atl
eastf
ini
sh
schoolfi
rst
..
.
Me:
Iwantnow.
.
Hi
m:Iwantt
otal
ktohi
m..
Me:
Idon'
twanty
out
oscar
ehi
m
Hi
m: i
tsei
therIt
alkwit
hhim now,
Todayor
t
here'
snomar ri
agethat'
sgoi
ngtotakepl
ace.
.
Me:
okf
ine.
.
Hi
m:cal
lhi
m now!

Itookoutmyphone,thi
ngsweren'
tgoing
accordingtopl
an.
.Iwasnowgetti
ngmor e
scared.Sphacomingherei
sthebiggest
di
sast
eroft
hem al
l
.

Dad:
andhebet
tercomeorel
seIwon'
tappr
ove
anyt
hing
Me:
can'
thecomet
omor
row?
Dad:
no!
now!
!

Idi
aledhisnumber
,pr
ayedhedoesn'
tpi
ckup
buthedid..

Hi
m:babe.
.howdi
ditgo?
Me:
hewant
stoseey
ou
Hi
m:what
?when?
Me:
today
,ri
ghtnow.
.
Hi
m:ummhok,
giv
eme15.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:by
e..
Ilov
eyou.
Andwiththathehungup,
Ifel
tli
keawet
chi
cken.
.Iknowwhat'sgoi
ngtohappenandi
t
won'
tbeni ce.

Me:
he'
scomi
ng.
.
Hi
m:good!
Me:
whatdoy
ouwanthi
mfor
?
Hi
m:am goi
ngt
ohav
ea6hrt
alkwi
thhi
m..
man
t
oman
Me:
6hour
sisal
ot.
..
Him:
that'
swhathegetsforwant
ingt
omar
ry
youatsuchyoungage.
..

It
ookadeepbreatht
ocalm myner
vesbutit
wasn'
twor
king.
..Myhear
twasbeat
ingfast
..
Af
terawhil
eIhadahoot
er,
andseemsl
i
ke
ev
eryonehear
dit
..
Dad:
goopenupf
ory
ourboy
fri
end.
.

Istoodup,
andwenttoopenthegate.Bythe
ti
mehewasget ti
ngoffhi
scarIwasal r
eady
standi
ngbythedoorr
eadytocry.
.Hewal kedup
tomeandhuggedme.

Hi
m:i
sitt
hatbad?

Inodded,
Idi
dn'
ttr
ustmyv
oicet
hatmuch.
..

Il
edhimi
n,
themomentwegoti
ndadand
Debr
awer
ealreadyt
her
e..

Spha:
Goodaf
ter
noonMrandMr
sVanGeor
ge
Debr
a:af
ter
noonson.
.
Dad:
ummhSphaIt
hinky
ouandIhav
etot
alk.
.
Spha:
ofcauseSi
r.
.

Theywal
kedawayl
eav
ingmewi
thDebr
a..

Me:
Ihopehedoesn'
thur
thi
m..
Her
:thisi
sgoingtobackfi
reLi
na,
youshoul
d
hav
ej ustt
oldyourdadthetr
uth.
.
Me:
hewasgoi
ngt
ohur
t.
..
Her
:youbet
terpr
aythatwhat
every
ourpl
an
wor
ksbecauseIfnot
..
.
Me:Ihopesotoo.
..
Ihopedaddoesn'
tdo
any
thingtohi
m..
.
.
Af
teraf
ewhoursSphacameoutwit
hdad,
Wit
h
abl
ueeye.
.nodoubtdadgav
ehi
m onehel
l
a
goodpunch.
..Ishutmyeyesandlettears
str
eam..Whywast hi
ssi
tuati
ongetti
ngsticki
er
andmuchmor emessybyt hesecond..

Spha:
ummhgoodby
eMrandMr
sVanGeor
ge
Dad:
seey
ousoonson
Spha:
ofcause.
.

Hethenwal
kedoutwi
thmebehi
ndhi
m..
.he
wal
kedtohi
scar.
.

Me:
am sosor
ry
Hi
m:i
tsok,
atl
eastam notdead.
.
Me:
am r
eal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Him:
hey.
..I
tsok.
.atl
easthegav
eust
he
appr
oval
..
.
Me:
hedi
d?
Hi
m:yes.
.whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
him aboutt
he
pr
egnancy?
Me:hewasgoi
ngtohav
eahear
tat
tack.
.I
coul
dn'
thavet
hat
..
Him:ok.
.si
nceyou'
vedeci
dedwegetmarri
ed
nextmonththenIguesswebet
terst
art
pl
anning..
Me:
yes.
..
Ihopet
hiswor
ks.
.
Hi
m:i
twi
l
l,
don'
twor
ry.
..Howi
smybaby
.?

Hesai
dbr
ushi
ngmyt
ummy
..
.

Me:
he'
sok.
..
Hi
m:y
ouwantason?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:ohhwellmetoo..
Ilov
ey ouLi
na.
.andIwi
l
l
doanyt
hingf
oryou.
.becauseIlov
eyou..
Me:
Il
oveyout
oo.
.Ican'
tbel
i
eveweget
ti
ng
mar
ri
ed.
.
Hi
m:youbet
ter
,andIcan'
twai
t.
..
youandI.
..
.we
meantt
obe..
Me:
for
ever
..
..
.
.
Atleastt hiswasov er ,
nowwhatf acesmei s
bei
ngsomeone' swi fe.
.Idon'tknowwhatt he
fut
ur ehol dsforme,Idon'tknowmyt omorrow
butifitswi ththeloveifmyl if
enothingget s
better.Thiswasn' ttheplanofmyl if
ebutl ifeis
whati tis..
.andIdon' tr
egretanythi
ng. .
.Ibeli
ev e
thi
si swhatIhav elongy earnedfor.
.being
happy ..
andi ndeedhappyIwas. .Getti
ngmar r
ied
andbei ngamom. ..
thethoughtmademe
happy ..
.
.
.
.
.
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
#Inser
t32
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
.
Me:
andweget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed!
!
Mom:
Spha.
..
.
Me:
Mom pl
ease

Idi
dn'
thavetheenergytodealwit
hher,
notin
fr
ontofLi
naatleast
.Linajustl
ookedshocked,
herf
acesoldherawayev enthewaysheheld
ontomyhandpr ov edhowscaredand
confusedshewas.Icouldn'tBl
ameher
though,
thewaymymom wasbr eat
hingoutfi
re
wasenought oparalyzeyou.Mydadinthe
otherhandwasn'
tshowi nganyexpressi
onandI
couldn'
tevendet
ectifthatwasagoodt hingor
not.
.

Mom:
Sphamandl
acanwet
alk?
Me:
ain'
twedoi
ngt
hat
?
Li
na:
ummmhIwi
l
lwai
tfory
oui
nthecar
..

Shesai
dwalki
ngout
,andnowIwasonl
ylef
t
wit
hmyparents.

Mom:
Sphawhatdi
dIsayaboutt
hatgi
rl
?
Me:
thathermot
herwasawhor
e?
Mom:
she'
snotgoodf
ory
ou!
!!
Me:
Idon'
tcar
e
Mom:nochil
dofminewil
lmarryElai
ne'
schild.
..
Hermotherwast
hebiggestwhoreofthem all
..
Me:
Linai
sLi
naandherMom i
sherMom.
..
Lina
i
snowhore
Mom:ohht
hat'
swhyshedatedbot
hyouand
Phi
l
ip?Whatdoyoucal
lthat
?
Me:
i
tsdi
ff
erent
..
.Whyar
eyoubei
ngl
i
ket
his?
Mom:
Idon'
tappr
oav
ethi
snonsenseandIwont
!!
Dad:
enough!

Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
zehowqui
tehehasbeenal
l
al
ong.
.

Him:fi
rstofall
Iwannapoi ntoutthefactthat
Sphayouhav edisrespect
edt heVanGeorge
famil
ybyimpregnat i
ngtheirdaught
erwhoy ou
arenotmarri
edt o.SecondlyIwanttolety
ou
knowhowpr oudIam ofy outobet aking
responsi bi
li
tytoyouract i
ons.Ifyouwantt o
mar r
yVi ct
or'
schildgoaheady ouhav emyf ul
l
blessingsandGodi twasaboutt i
mey ougav e
usagr andchil
d..
.Ifshemakesy ouhappyt henI
wontst opyouandast heheadoft hef ami l
yI
givesuppor ttothismar ri
ageandsowi lly
ou
Thulani !Am notgoingt ositherewhiley oulash
onmysonj ustbecausey ouwanthi mt omar ry
what everhernamei s.Nobodyf orcedy outo
mar r
ymeandnot hi
ngofsor twill
happent omy
chil
dr en.Thisisthelastti
mewehav et his
conv ersati
on.Am Icl ear
?
Me:
ver
y..
Dad:
Thul
ani
?
Mom:
yes.
.

Shesai
dwalkingaway,
am gladmydadgivesus
Hisbl
essi
ngs,Iwoul
dn'tcareaboutmom.She
needst
olearnnotever
ythingmustgo
accor
dingt
oherpl
an.

Dad:
Ihopeyouknowhowl
uckyy
ouar
ewi
th
t
hatgir
l.
..
Me:
Iknow.
..
Hi
m:goodbecauseifyoulosehery
ouar
ea
f
ail
ure.
.Goodgi
rlsarenotmeanttobel
ost
!
Me:
Iwon'
t,
thatIcanpr
omi
se.
.
Him:
good,don'
twor
ryabouty
ourmom.
.Shewi
l
l
comearound..
Me:
shebet
ter
,Idon'
twantt
ofi
ghtwi
thher
..
Him:ok,
youmayl
go.
..
.wai
tdoesherf
ami
l
y
know?
Me:
wear
egoi
ngt
otel
lthem.
.
Hi
m:bef
ast
..
.
Me:
okby
e..
Iwal
kedbackt
othecar
..

Me:
am sor
ryaboutmymom.
.she.
.
Her
:doesn'
tl
ikeme?
Me:
no.
.i
tsj
ust
..
Her
:what
?Shedoesn'
tl
ikemeandy
ouknowi
t!
Me:butdaddoesi
nfacthegav
eushi
s
bl
essings.
Her
:atl
east
..
.Butthatdoesn'
tchangethef
act
t
hatyourmotherdi
sli
keme,Ithoughtshel
i
ked
me.
.
Me:shedoes,j
ustt
hatshe'
sgatawei
rdwayof
showingi
t.
.don'
tworr
ymuch..
Her
:ok.
..

Shesai
dlooki
ngoutbyt
hewi
ndow.
..
Me:hey
..
babeIl
oveyouandi
fanyonedoesn'
t
l
ikeyoutheymi
ghtaswel
lgofuckthemsel
ves!
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
.ummhSpha?
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:It
hinkIshoul
dtel
lmydadwi
thouty
ou
bei
ngpresent
..
Me:
babe.
Her:
please,
he'
sgoingt
opunchyoui
fyoucome
wit
h..
Ithinki
tsbet
teri
fIdoi
tal
one.
.
Me:
arey
ousur
e?
Her
:yes,
am Hungr
y..
Me:
thi
sday
syoual
way
sHungr
y
Her
:l
olam eat
ingf
or2

Shesaidlaughi ng.Herl aughisal

waysthebest
l
aughev er.Ireall
yl oveLina.
..
andIdon'
tregret
anyt
hingwi thher ,
thispregnancyi
sablessing
andangoi ngt oembr aceitwit
hmyall.
Me:
good.
.Idon'
twanty
oust
arv
ingmybaby
..
Her
:Iwi
shy
oucanal
sobepr
egnanty
ouknow.
.
Me:
what
?
Her:
yes.
..
imagi
net
hef
unwewi
l
lhav
eifwebot
h
pr
egnant.
Me:
that
'swei
rdbabe.
Her
:i
twi
l
lbeni
ce.
..

Shebur
stupi
nLaught
er.
.

Her
:Icanonlyimagi
neyouwi
thabl
oat
ed
t
ummy ..
.swoll
enf
eet.
..
Me:
That
'snotf
unny
..

Shel
aughedev
enhar
der
..
.
Her
:ok.
..
butser
iousl
ybabeam st
arv
ing
Me:
wewi
l
lst
opbyDebonai
rs.
..
Her:
ok.
.youknowbabeIwantust
obuyat
ri
ple
st
oreyhouse.
.
Me:
ohhy
eah?
Her
:yes.
..
.

Il
ist
enedt oherplanourfuture..Itwasthemost
unexplainablefeeli
ngIhaveev erhad, i
tsoothed
myhear tandmademehappyhowsheev en
i
magi nedherf uturewit
hme.I fIhav eLinaI
wouldn'tcar emuchofev er
y t
hingel se.
..
she'
s
mywor l
d...Idr
ov etodebonair.West art
ed
eati
ngandt hepaceshewasgoi ngon,one
wouldswearshehasn' teateniny ears..
..

Her
:what
???
Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
zeIwasst
arr
ing.
.

Me:
not
hing.
..
.
Her
:Godam sohungr
y..

Shesai
dbi
ti
ngof
fahugepar
t.
..

Me:
Icansee.
.sohowi
swor
k?
Her
:ok.
..
not
hingex
cit
ing.
Me:
soIwast
hinki
ng.
.
Her
:what
?

Sheaskedwi
thsomuchcur
iosi
ty..

Me;
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgoonashor
thol
i
day.
..
.
Her
:t
hat
'sagr
eati
dea.
..
especi
all
yaf
terdad
di
sownsme.
.
Me:
don'
ttal
kli
ket
hat
..
.Someposi
ti
veener
gy
wi
ll
doyougood.
Her
:i
tsaf
actSpha.
.

Nowshewassadagain,
l
ikeshewasn'
thappya
fewsecondsago.
shewaseveni
ntheedgeof
cry
ing.
.

Me:hewon't,
helovesyou..
youareHisdaught
er
andnothingwil
leverchangethat
,y
eshewi l
lbe
angrybuthewil
l comearound
Her
:doy
ouknowhowmuchIl
ovey
ou.
..
?
Me:
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndbei
ngt
oldagai
n.
Her:
Il
oveyoumoret
hanl
i
fei
tsel
f.
.Mor
ethan
anymeasures.
.
Me:
andIl
ovemor
e..
.
Her
:sower
ear
ewegoi
ngf
ort
hev
acat
ion.
.
Nowshewasbackyobei
nghappy,
it
'sf
unny
howIgav
eobser
vedher,
Iknowwhatandwhat
nott
osayandwhatmomenttosayi
t.

Me:
Iwast
hinki
ngNewZeal
and.
.
Her
:wowbabe.
..
Iwoul
dli
vet
hat.
.when?
Me:Iwil
lneedy
outoaskf
orSi
ckl
eav
efora
week..
thenwego
Her
:butwhatabout
..
Me:
don'
twor
ryIwi
l
lsor
titout
..
Her:
ofcause.
..
Iwi
ll
askf
ori
ttoday
..
.pl
usi
t'
s
Fr
iday.
..Sowhendowego.
.

Icoul
dtel
lshewasexcited.
.Ihopethi
s
vacat
ionwi
llj
ustputhermindatease.
.
Her
:canweev
engot
omor
row?
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:am soexci
ted.
..Can'
twai
ttot
ell
Tany
a..
Me:
Iseehowcl
osey
ougav
egr
ownt
othatgi
rl
..
.
Her
:she'
s..
..
..
afr
iendIguess
Me:
am gl
ady
oumaki
ngf
ri
ends.
..

Ipul
l
edonherGat
e..
.

Me:
ohhbef
oreIf
orgett
ake.
.

Isai
dhandinghert
hedi
amondr
ingIhad
boughtear
li
er.
.

Her
:wow!
!t
his.
.sobeaut
if
ul.
..
.Il
ovei
t.
.
Shesl
i
ppedi
tinherf
ingerandi
tfi
twel
l
...

Her
:andhowdi
dyouknowmysi
ze?
Me:
Ihav
emyway
s..
.
Her
:Il
ovei
t.
.Thanky
ou.
..
.
Me:
ok,
arey
ousur
eyoudon'
tneedmewi
thy
ou?
Her
:noam good.
.Iwi
l
lhandl
emyf
ather
..
Me:
ok.
.Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
.Iwi
l
lcal
l
..
Me:
ok.
.

Shegotof ft
hecaraf t
erpeekingmylips.Idrove
str
aighttoEri
c'
scrib.Iwalkedinwit
hout
knockingandIfoundhim sitt
ingonthefloorin
fr
ontoft heTvbeer.

Me:
bruh!
!
Isai
dsi
tt
ingbesi
deshi
m ont
hef
loor
..
taki
ng
oneoft
hecan.

Hi
m:ssupboy
?
Me:
non.
..
Hi
m:howdi
ditgo?

Er
icknew.
..
he'
sthef
ir
standonl
yper
sonIt
old.
.

Me:dadgav
eushisblessi
ngswhil
emom
l
ashedonLinashowi
ngherthatshedi
dn'
tl
ike
her
..
Hi
m:poorthi
ngisst
uckwi t
haguyli
key
ou,
a
monst
erinlawandpregnantont
opoft
hat
..
Me:f
uckyou.
..
buttomor
rowImightgot
oNew
Zeal
andwit
hher..
bebackaf
teraweek
Hi
m:canIt
agal
ong.
.
Me:
wtf
??ni
ggano!
it
sapar
tyf
or2,
3isacr
owd.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.butIhopey
oudon'
tregr
ett
his.
.
Me:
Iwon'
tthatIcanassur
eyou.
.
Him:
butbruhyou'
veal
waysbeenthety
peto
usepr
otecti
onall
thet
imewhathappenedt
his
ti
mearound?
Me:
shi
thappened.
.
Him:
whydoIfeell
ikey
ouplannedthi
s,Imean
youknowhowhitt
ingi
trawwil
lresul
tinbutst
il
l
youdidany
way.
.ni
gga..
.
Me:pl
annedornotam gl
adshe'
scar
ryi
ngmy
chi
l
datleastIscor
e..
.
Him:okmyguy.
..
butIpersonall
yam notgoi
ng
togetmyasscuff
edforlife.
..
marr
iageist
he
l
astthi
nginmymi nd.
.Itneverwor
kedformy
parent
s..
Eri
c'
sparent
sdi vorcedwhenwewerest
il
lat
Juni
orschool.Icouldseehowhur
thewasbut
healwaystr
iedtoactcool.

Me:
youneedt
ohav
efai
th.
..
Him:
noam fi
nel
i
kethisplusmar
ri
agei
s
unwant
edcompl
icat
ions
Me:
sui
tyour
sel
f.
..HowNat
ti
e?y
ourwhor
e...
Him:
youwon'tbel
iev
eshesay
sshe'
spr
egnant
andam t
hefather
..
Me:
soy
ounowaday
shi
tt
ingi
traw?
Hi
m:ni
ggaIal
sodon'
tremember
..
Me:
herboy
fri
end?
Hi
m:t
heybr
okeupl
ongt
imeago.
..
Me:
sot
hebabyi
syour
s?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknow.
.
Me:
buty
ou'
vebeenf
ucki
ngher
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:Idon'
twannal iebutnomat t
erhowmuch
youcrossyourfinger
st hebabyisyour
s..
.Ihope
youtakeresponsibi
li
ty.
Hi
m:Idon'
thav
eachoi
cedoI
?
Me:
noy
oudon'
t.
..
Hi
m:butam notwi
fi
ngherass
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.
Him:Ihopey oudon'thir
eagaywedding
pl
anner..
thi
sday sev er
yweddingpl
anneris
gay.
..Ir
eall
ydon'tunderstandt
hedealwit
hgay
s
anyway..

Ther
ewego, Eri
chasalwaysvi
ewed
homosexuali
nat ypeofway,
nothehatesitbut
moreli
keit
sf unnytohi
m andIontheother
handam j
ustneutral
..
Hi
m:hav
eyouev
erseenhowt
heywal
k?ort
alk?
"
OhhDear
ing"
hesai
dimi
tat
ingawomanv
oicet
henwe
l
aughed

Him:
"ohhdar
li
ngIthi
nkpur
plewi
ll
doandabi
t
ofpi
nkdon'
tyouthi
ngDear
ing"

Westi
l
l l
aughed,
Iwasl
aughi
ngt
hatmyt
ummy
wasevenpainf
ul.
.

Him:eventheirnamesarefunny.
.Imeanhi
sreal
namei sJosephbuthestartscal
linghi
msel
f
"Josephi
li
cious"li
fet
hough!!
Me:
weseet
hings.
..
Hi
m:t
ell
meabouti
t.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued.
..
.
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t34
.
.
.
Wewer enowsi ttedaroundthetabl
ehav ing
di
nnerf i
l
ledwithsilence,noonedaredtot alkor
evenclearthei
rthroats.Aswewer esti
lleat i
ng
wewer edistur
bedbyaknock, avi
olentknock.
Dadmumbl edsomet hingashewalkedt ot he
door.
Debr
a:t
hisper
sonwant
stobr
eakt
hedoor
..
Me:
whocani
tbel
ateatt
hist
ime.
.?

Wewal kedattheli
vi
ngr oom, myheart
moment ar
ystoppedbeat ingforawhil
ethere
whenIsawMr sZwelanitalki
ngwi t
hmydad..I
knewshehadt oldhim,obv i
ousl
yshehad
becausemydadgav emet he"t
ellmeshe'
s
l
yinglook"
..Il
etmyey esdown. ..
Icoul
dn'
tbri
ng
my sel
ftol
ookintohisey es..
.

Him:
Lina.
..
what
'sgoi
ngi
n?t
ell
met
hisi
snot
t
rue.
.

Il
etmyey
esdownast
ear
sfi
l
ledmyey
es.
..

MrsZwelani
:soy
oudidn'
ttel
lyourf
atherabout
yourpl
antotr
apmyson?
Dad:
Lina.
..
.
MrsZwel
ani:
Vict
ort
hisy
ourdaughterhas
i
nstal
l
ednonsensei
nmyson'shead..
Me:
am sosor
ry.
..
Iam r
eal
l
ysor
ry.
..

Isaidrai
singmyheadtomydad.
..
whol
ooked
disappoi
nted.
..
hel
ookeddef
eat
ed.
.

Me:
am.
.sor
ry.
..I
'
mreal
l
yam.
.

Herai
sedhishandindicat
ingthatIshoul
dst
op
t
alki
ngthenheret
reatedforthedoor..

Me:dadpl
easedon'
tgo,
am sor
ry.
.pl
easedon'
t
go.
.

Andhewasgone,
j
ustl
i
ket
hat
.Il
etmybodyf
all
asIcr
ied.
..
whathadIdone?
Whydi
dthi
ngshav
etobel
i
ket
his?
Afterawhi l
eIf el tDebra'shandsembr acingme
andbr i
ngingmecl osert oherchest .
.Iwhi pped
i
nherchest .Imusthav ecr i
edmy selftosleep
becauseopeni ngmyey esIf oundmy selfont he
bed.Itwasst i
lldar k,
Icoul dseet hrought he
window.Myey esf eltheav y,Iguessitsfrom all
thecryi
ng.Myt hroatfeltdr ysoIst oodupand
walkedtoki tchenf orwat er.AsIwasst il
l
walkingIfeltshar ppainhi tmyheadv eryhard
l
eadingmest r
ai ghtont hef loor.Itri
edt otalk
butslowlyIbl ackedout .
.
.
.
.
Openi
ngmyey es,
Ifoundmy sel
font
hefl
oor.
Thecol
dthatwast r
ansferr
edfr
om t
hefl
oorto
mybodywasunbr earabl
e.Myeyesr
oamed
aroundtheroom butIcoul dn'tfamal
isemy sel
f
withtheenvironmentIwasi n.Awav eof
unbearableagonystruckmyheadasIt r
iedto
mov e,
that'
swhent heev entsthathadtaken
placecamebackf loodinginmyhead.Myhear t
start
edbeatingabnor mall
y,whatwasgoi ngon
here?Asi Iwasstil
llayi
ngont hecol
df l
oorthe
dooropenedasshewal kedi n.Iswearmyhear t
almostleapedoutasourey esmet ,
didn'
tSpha
takecareofit..
.

Her
:ohhl
ookwhoseawake.
..
.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantKar
en?
Her:
sowhat?yout
houghtIwasdead?
youand
yourboy
fri
endhadthoughtofki
l
li
ngme?
Me:
whatt
heheckdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Her:
ohhwe'l
lyoufail
ed!i
fyouthoughtIwas
deadthenohhwellSurpr
isehoney.
.Youtook
awaymyhappinessLinaandnowi t'
spayback
t
ime.
.

Shesaidwalki
ngt
othegunonat
abl
ethatI
hadn'
tnot
iced.

Her
:your
ippedmyhappi
nessawayLi
na.
..
Me:
God!
hedoesn'
tl
ovey
ou!
Her
:If
igur
ed.
.Butheusedt
o..
Me:It
hinkyouneedtoseesomeone.
..Your
cr
azymi ndneedssomeMedici
ne.
.
Her:
whatever,
buti
fIcan'
thav
eSphathen
nei
therwil
lyouandIwil
lmakesur
eofthat
.
Me:
Sphai
sgoi
ngt
ofi
ndme.
.
Her:
yourdeadbody.
..t
hatis.
.f
rankl
yIdon'tcare
becauseei
therwayam goingtodie.
..Sphahad
meshotbutam sti
llal
ivebutthebull
ethitclose
tomyheartandthedoctorscouldn'
ttakeitoff.
..
Me:
youar
epat
het
ic.
.
Ihi
ssedasIstoodupignor
ingt
hepain.Iwasn'
t
goi
ngtodieandlosemybabyinherhands
wit
houtput
ti
ngupaf i
ght.

Her:saywhatevery
ouwanttosayandseeifI
careLina.
.whatyoushoul
dbecari
ngaboutis
yourowndeat handyourunbor
nbaby'
s.
Me:
youbi
tch!
!

Shel
aughedani
rr
it
ati
ngl
augh.
..

Her
:t
here'
sapenandpaperwr
it
eyourl
ast
wor
ds..
Me:
youmustbecr
azy
..
Her
:doy
ouwantmet
oki
l
lyourbaby
?

Shescr
eamedmaki
ngmej
umpal
i
ttl
e..
Her
:Ihaveabor
ti
onpi
ll
sIwil
lmakesur
eofy
ou
l
osethatbabyi
fyoudon'
twr
ite.
..

Shewasgoi ngt oki l

lme,andtherewasnoway
outoft hisoneorwast her
e?Ifelttears
stream,thiswasn' tthewayIwant edt odie,
I
di
dn' twantt odi ey et.Ist
il
lhadtospeakwi t
h
dad,Isti
lllongedf orSpha'stouch,hi
sCol ogne.
.I
j
ustcoul dn't..Ipickedupt hepenandpaper .I
staredatt hem andaf t
erawhileIstarted
writi
ng...
.
Af
terwr
it
ingIjustst
oodther
ewi
tht
ear
s
st
reami
ng..
.Ihadfai
led.
.

Her
:done?
Ikeptqui
te,
shewal
kedupt
omeandt
ookaway
thepaper
..

Her
:goodj
ob.
.

Herf ocuswasont hepaper ,readingwhatIhad

writt
en..Thi swasi t,
ther ewasnowayout .The
onlywayt oescapet hiswasf i
ghther .Without
hesitati
onIpul ledthegunbutshegr ewal ert
mor equi ckert hanIhadant icipatedt hatIf ound
my selfscrambl ingfort hegunwi thher .We
foughtf orthegununt i
l wewer eont hepassage.
Iwasn' tgoingt oletthegungobecauset hat
willbesi gningmyowndeat h.Aswewer est il
l
fi
ght i
ngf ort hegunIhear dSphascr eam my
name.ThankGoodnesshewasher e, asmy
eyeswer est il
lroami ngar oundsoIal locatehi m
thetriggerwentof f
,t
wi ce.Ilookedatherand
sheal sodi dt hesame.Af t
ert hatIfeltnumb.
Mybodygr ewweakt hatIf eltont hegr ound.
ShehadshotmeorIhad.Icoul dn'
tfeelany
painonlyweaknesst hatwast akingov ermy
body.Mybodyf eltheavy,
Iwasr unningoutof
ai
rtobr eath.Icouldfeelmysoul leavemybody .
Ifel
thishandsi nme, Ii
nstantlygotintoxi
cated
byhiscol ogne,hepulledmecl osertohim ashe
cri
ed.Ev enthoughmyey eli
dsf eltheavyandi t
washar dt r
yingtokeept hem openi couldstil
l
seeHi sface,hi
shandsomef acethatwasf i
ll
ed
withtearsthatalsoIf el
tmyownt earsstream.
Hewashur ti
ngIcoul dsee..andsowasI .

Him:
babe.
.pl
easedon'
tleaveme.
..
Ilov
e
you.
.y
ouaremylif
e..
please.
..

AsmuchasIt riedtoholdonbutIwas
fai
li
ng..
thef
orcethatwasf i
ght
ingmewas
great
erandstronger.
..
Me:
I.
..
lov
e..
you.
.Il
ovey
ouv
erymuch.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor e.
..
please..
.t
heambul
ancei
s
oni
t'
sway.
..
pleaseholdonf orme..
.
Me:
pleasebehappy..
.happyfor
me.
..
and..
.d.
.don'
t.
.f
orget.
..
I.
.l
..
lov
e..
y.
.y
ou

Ifel
tmyhear tfai
lingme,Iwasl i
teral
lyseconds
awayf r
om myowndeat h..Icouldsmel lmyown
death.EventhoughIwasscar edbutf uuny
enoughIf el
tatpeace,If
eltnopai nhowso
ever.
..
Icouldsti
llhearSpha'scriesbutt hey
werefadingawayal ongwi thme. .
thi
sisi t
!I
fi
nall
ygav eintothedarknesst hathadbeen
pull
i
ngme. .
unendingdarkness...
..
..
.
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t35
.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
It
sbeen3f ullweekswi thLinabeingi nhospi t
al
andt obehonestam l osingmymi nd.
Somet imesi nli
fet herear emoment swer eyou
j
ustwi shtodi eorj ustt urntoGodandchange
thehandsoft i
me.If eltthatmywhol el i
fehad
comet oanend, goingatt hehospitalev eryday,
mor ning, l
unchandev eninghasbecome
tradit
iont ome.May bei fIhadgonet her ea
mi nuteear l
ierthen. .
..
then. .
.t
henmay beIwoul d
hav esav edher .
..IfIhadbeent hef iancéeshe
neededanddeser vedt henIwoul dn'thav elet
somet hi ngli
ket hishappen.Ihav enev erfelt
hopelessandhel plessi nmyl if
eliket his
moment .
.I'veal way sbeent hatsomeonet obe
ont opoft hings, alway si ncont rol butthist ime
aroundIf eltlost ..
.Ev er ytimeIcl osemyey esI
seeher ,
herhappysmi le..ev erythingwehav e
everdonet oget her ,allthehappymoment s,the
stupi df i
ght sandev er ythingel sewoul djust
expl odei nmymi ndt hatIwon' tev enknowwer e
tot ouchorwhatt odo.Ev eryt i
meIl ookather
l
ay ingt her el i
felessdr ainsmysoul ,
breaksmy
hear ttosmal lerpi ecesandknowi ngIcan' tdo
any thingabouti tbr eaksmemor e.Thelet ter
shewr ote,Ialway sreadi t
..ev eryt i
me...I
tmakes
mecr yandhappyatt hesamet ime. .
.IfIhav e
nev erbel iev edt hatt her e'snot hingl i
kesoul
mat e. .
.not hingl i
ker eal lov e..It
akei tback. .
Ev eryt i
meIr eadt hatl etterIal way sfi
ndmy self
drowni ngi nt ears.I ftheyhav eev ertoldy ou
alcohol makesy ouf or gety ourpr oblemsIwi l
l
i
ndependent lysayt her e'snot hingassuch. .
Ev eryt i
meIdr inkal cohol ..
Iwi l
lremember
her .
..everyt hingIdomakesmer ememberher ..
.
Herlet
teri
salway
swi
thmeev
ery
wher
eIwal
k,
I
neverl
eaveit
..
.
.
DearSpha.
.
There'ssomet hingIhav ealway swant edtotell
you,Ialway sthoughtoft ell
i
ngy oubutIal ways
keptf orgetti
ngev erytimewhenIwasi ny our
presence, wellthat'spr acti
cal l
ybecausey outhe
bestt hingthathasev erhappenedt ome.Ok. .
so
Ihav ewant edt osayt hanky ou.Youhel pedme
putmyl i
febacki ntoonepuzzl e,stoodbymei n
mywor stdramas, neverst oppedl ovingmy
annoy ingandi rri
tatingass.Foral lthet i
met hat
Iwoul df eelasift heear t
hiscl osingon
me,wher eIwoul df eel l
ikedar knesshas
enclosedonmey oushowedmel ight.For
teachingmehowt olov eagai n,
howt ol ove
fearl
essl ywithouthol di ngback. .forbringingout
thebesti nmeIwantt osayt hanky ou.Idon't
knowhowmanyt i
mesIhav eev ersai dt hisand
Idon'tmi ndsay i
ngi tagai n,Ilov ey ou
Sphamandl aZwel ani, Ilov ey ouwi thev eryFiber
i
nme, bey ondanymeasur e..Il ov ey ousomuch
mor et hanIcanputi nt owor dsandI fiwoul d
everbegi venachancei nl if
eIwoul dst artit
overagai nwi t
hy ouwi thouthesi tation, wi t
hout
fearbecauseIhav enev erbeensur eabout
anythingi nmyl i
feexpectf r
om l ovingy ou,foral
l
my21y earsi nt hiswor ldIcancer tainlysayy ou
thebestofi t..
.Remembert hef ir
stdaywemet ?
Mymeanass?Thi sist hedayIcannev ersayI
regret,losingmymemor y..Ialsodon' tregr et
thatinf actam gl adi tev enhappenedbecausei f
notwewoul dn' tbeher et oday ...Idon' tknow
whatmyf atei s,Idon'tknowwhatmyt omor r
ow
ornextmi nut emi ghtbe. ..
.butwhat ev ert hat
mayhappenIwanty out oal way sknowIl ove
you...
Ilov ey ouf orbei ngy ou...Andot her
reasons? Idontknow, Ijustl ov ey ou..IfIdont
survive,ifIgot ooear lyt henknowy ouwi ll
alway shav emyhear tthesamewayIwi l
lhav e
your s.
.Ihav enev ert houghtofbei nganangel
sosoon, buti fam goi ngt obet hendont
wor ry,
meandourbundl eofj oywi llal
way s
wat chov ery ou. .
.pleasedontBl amey ourselffor
this,
itsnoty ourf aul t...pleasedon' tbeangr yat
your selffort his...
Idobel ieveev erything
happensf orar eason.Onemor et hing,ifIdont
makei tpleasemov eon, Iknowam aski ngal ot
butpl easemov eon, ify oucan' tdoi tforyour sel
f
thendoi tf orme. ..Iwanty out obehappy
agai n,
getmar ried, that '
shasal way sbeeny our
dream, don' tst opi tbecauseofmenotbei ng
therebutgetmar riedandhav ekids. .
.behappy .
.
Pleasedon' tchange, bet heguyIf elli
nl ove
eveni fam nott her e. .
..j
ustknowIwi l
lalway sbe
therei nyourhear t...IthinkIhav esai d
enough. .
.pleaset ell dadIl ovehim, andam sor ry
forbei ngt hewor stdaught erever.Tel lhimt hatI
l
ov ehi m somuch, mor et hanhet hinks...
.and
alsoDebr a..alsosendmyapol ogyt oher ,
lether
knowIdon' thateherandt ofinditinherheart
toforgi
v eme..Crai
g,t
ellhim he'sthebestthi
ng
thathasev erhappenedt ome, t
heonlyfri
endI
hav eeverhadwhounder st
oodme.Samegoes
forTany a,
EdwinandEr ic..
.t
ellt
hem Ilovethem
allbutIloveyoumor ethanany one..

Your
s
Li
na
.
.
Iplacedt helett
erdownasIl etmybodydown
ont hef l
oor,
tookmyphoneandst art
edgoi ng
throughourpi ctur
es,ourvi
deos.
..Ever
ycr azy
momentwehav eeverhadandasIwat ched
tearswer estreaming..
.Whydidlif
ehav etobe
l
iket his?Whycoul dn'
titbefai
rforonlya
minut e?
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Iguessi t'st r
uewhent heysaysomet imes
there'
st hatoneper sonwhomakesandkeeps
everyonet oget her.
..IcansayLi naisthat
person,hercur rentcondi ti
onhasBr okendown
peoplewhoy ounev ert houghtcanbeBr oken,i
t
hast urnedpeopl e'
sl if
e'supsi dedownand
miser able.Dadi salway si nandoutofhospi tal
withhi shear t,hecan' thandl eHisonlychi l
d
l
ay i
ngi nahospi talbed, connect edtoal otof
machi nes, knowi ngt hatt hismachinesar ethe
onlythingkeepi ngheral ivebecausei nit
iall
y
she'sdeadbutt hebeepi ngoft hemachi nes
makest heonl ydi f
ference. ..It
sdiff
icultforhim
towat chhi sdaught ersl owlyslipawayeach
secondoft heday .
..
knowi ngandwat chingher
die...Hebl ameshi msel f,allhet hinksi sthatif
hedi dn'twal kawayt hennoonewoul dhav e
kidnappedher ,IwonderhowKar enev engot
i
nsi det hehouse. ..
am happyt osayt hatshewas
alsof ounddead, shewasshot ..
.thepol icesay
sheki ll
edher selfaf tershoot ingLi nabutIknow
thatSphadi d...
.He' stheonewhof oundherand
wear eallgl adhedi d...Allinmyl i
feIhav e
alway sseenSphaatbar sanddoi ngst uffbut
todayseei nghi m br eakl i
ket hatr eallymakes
mebel ievet hatLi nawast hebestper son
ever ,
mi ghthav enotal way shav et henicest
thingst osaybutwast hebest .Shewasper fect
i
nherownway s..Iwasal sosur prisedt osee
Jer emy ,somemeanassr i
chni gga. .
.Ihave
seenhi m 5t imesorso. .
wi thLi nai nherhospi tal
room. .evenhi smom andsi ster...Iguessmy
sisterwasacel ebl i
kesheusedt osaywhenwe
wer est il
li
nhi ghschool .Asf ormom, shecries
her selft osl eepev erynight ,
includi ngmeIguess.
Thishasbr okenmebey ondr epai r..Imiss
everythingweev erdi dtoget her,
Imeanwehad
j
ustf i
xedourr elati
onshi p..
.Andt hishappens
butIdobel i
eveshe'sst rongandshewi llf
ight.
.I
sti
llbelievehowev eryonecr i
edwhenSphar ead
thelettersheleftbeforebei ngshot ,
nowIcoul d
seesher eal
lyloveshim. ..Ihavenev erbelieved
i
nr eli
gionbutIdi dbel i
ev etherewasGod.For
thepastweeksIhav eseenmy selfgot o
church..somethingInev err eall
ydi doractually
thoughtIwoul ddo. .
."Craig"Iheardav oice
call
ingmef oll
owedmebyashake. .Isnapped
outofi tonlytoreali
zeIhadzonedout ..I
reali
zedi twasMar leah..butwecal lherLeah...
..
.
She'smyst udypartnerandal somyf ri
end.I
havebeengoi ngtot hechur chwi thher ,
she's
theonewhohasbeenhel pingmepr ay..
Her
:wannapr
ayagai
n?
Me:
Ithi
nkGodi
sget
ti
ngt
ir
ednow.
.
Her:
no,
heneverget
sti
red.
.Godi
s
avai
l
abl
e..
everyt
ime.
Me:
Doy
out
hinkGodhear
sus?
Her
:ofcause,
hedoes.
..Al
way
s..
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhatt
odo.
..
any
mor
e
Her:
let'
sjustpr
ay.
.pr
ayeri
stheanswert
o
ever
y t
hing.
.
Me:
ok
Her:
heav enl yFat herwebowdownbef orey our
thr
own, wesur rendereachandev ery t
hingunt o
you,f
ory ourwor dsay snot hingi simpossi blein
yournameFat herIknowt hatLi nai sheal edby
yourstri
pesasy ourwor dsay s.Fat heri nt he
mightynameofJesusIbel iev et haty ourname
i
spower fulmor ethananysi cknessandI
decl
areLi naheal edi nthemi ght ynameof
Jesus..Lor d,Iaskf ory ourpr esencei ntheVan
Georgef ami ly, Iaskf orcomf ortint hisfami l
y
Lordast heyf acet hischallenge, Iknowy ou
LordofIsr ael doev er
ythingf orar easonev en
now.pleasei nst allyourfaithi nt hisf ami l
y,show
yourgreat nessupont hem Fat her ,
lety ourlight
shi
ne.Wecr yandbowbef or
ey ouholyFather,
askingforyourmercyFather,
mayt heholyspir
it
comeuponusLor d,
mayy ouhearourCr y'
s
Father.
..WeblessyournameFat her,
wepr ai
se
yournamet othemosthighandy ourwil
lbe
doneint hemight
ynameofJesusChr istIpray
Amen!

Me:
amen.
..
Her:
Ibel
iev
eGodi
swat
chi
ngov
ernow.
..
li
ke
al
ways..
Me:
am gl
ady
ouar
eher
ewi
thme.
.
Her:
am happyt
obeabletohel
pyou.
..
all
you
needtodoisbel
iev
einGod.
..
.
.
SPHA
.
.
Eri
c:am sur
eifLi
naseesy
ouLi
ket
hisshewi
l
l
run.Youlookl
ikecr
ap
Me:
Ifeel
li
kecr
ap

IsaidasIthr
ewmy sel
fonmybed,Er
ichasbeen
herefor30minut
esNow,annoy
ingandir
ri
tat
ing
me.

Hi
m:hav
eyougonet
othehospi
tal
today
?
Me:
yes,
i
nthemor
ning.
.
Hi
m:l
ooki
ngl
i
ket
hat
?
Me:
l
ikewhat
?
Hi
m:li
keyou'
vej
ustbeenvomit
edf
rom acows
mouth.
..
maybei
fyoutakecar
eofyour
sel
fLina
wi
llwakeup.
.
Me:
whatt
hef
uckhav
eyoubeendr
inki
ng?
Him:y
ouneedt
ogetyour
sel
ftoget
her,
Thisis
notWhatLi
nawoul
dhavewanted.
.Youlook
l
ikeanape
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:noseri
ousbr
uh.
.am goi
ngt
ogety
ou
t
oget
herforLi
na.
.

Hesai
ddraggi
ngmeoutofbed.2hr
slat
erI
hadanewhair
cut,
Iwasl
ooki
nggoodIguess.

Er
ic:
see?nowy
oucangoseeLi
na.
..
it
sal
most
l
unchti
me..
Me:f
unnyhowt
hathav
etur
nedi
ntomyev
ery
dayl
ife
Er
ic:
thosear
ethet
hingsy
oudof
orl
ove.
.
Me:
Iguess.
..Okl
etmegetgoi
ng
Hi
m:not
hanky
ou?Humanbei
ngst
hough!
Me:
l
ookatme.
..
Ihav
ebeensosel
fi
shandsel
f
center
ed.
.Ievenfor
gott
oaskhowi
sthe
Natali
ecasegoi
ng?
Him:
she'sreal
lypr
egnant
,andam doi
ngwhati
s
r
ight
,am t
akingcar
eofher..
Me:
nowt
hat
'smyman.
.
Hi
m:Ihav
egr
own
Me:
yeah.
..
.keepi
tup.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.gr
eetLi
naf
orme.
.
Me:
cool

Iwalkedoutofthesaloonandwalkedtomycar ,
drov
et othehospi
tal
..Wentstr
aighttoherroom.
It
ookadeepbr eathbeforewalki
ngin..
.st
epping
i
nandt hereshewas..l
ayi
ngthere.
..

Iwal
kedtoherandt
ouchedherhandki
ssi
ng
herf
orehead.
.
Me:hey .
.i
tsme. .
y ouknowt odayIwaswat ching
ourv i
deo,theonewet ookatt hepar k..
.Ir
eally
missy ouandIknowy oudor ight?Ihat eseeing
youlikethis,
Ihat efeelingli
ket hi
s..Iknowy ou
sai
di fanythinghappensIshoul dmov eonbuti f
anythinghappenst hatIpraydoesn' tIdon'
t
thi
nkIwi llsurvi
ve...Pleasedontl eav e
me,pleasef i
ghtf orus,forourlove..Ineedy ou
becauseIl ovey ou..youcompl eteme.Igota
newhai rcut.
..Eri
cf orcedme. ..Theysay
chancesofy ouwaki ngupar eslim butIknow
youwi ll
makei t
...
Ilovey ouLina...
somuch. .
.
.
Aft
erawhil
ev i
siti
ngt i
mehadcomet oanend, I
walkedt
omycarwi t
hat hr
obbinghear twhenI
bumpedint
oJor danah,Jer
emy '
ssister..
.She'
s
usedtohaveacrushonme, itwasaf ewy ears
backbutst
oppedwhensher eal
isedIcannev er
l
ookatherthatway .
..Someti
mesIj ustwonder
whyIat
tractt
roubl
eonl
y.
..

Her
:hey
..
..Fr
om seei
ngLi
na?

Iev
enwonderhowshewasf
ri
endswi
thLi
na.
.

Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:and?
Me:
same.
.
Her
:ummhok.
.am seei
ngsomeoneher
e..
Me:
wel
lok.
.seey
ouar
ound
Her
:yeah.
.

Thenshewal kedaway,
Iwalkedtomycar..and
j
ustsat, Icl
osedmyey esti
ghtlyt
ryi
ngtojust
pretendam okwher ebydeepdownam
breaking..
.Thishastur
nedintomylif
e,al
i
fef ul
l
ofpret
ence.
.Pr
etendi
ngam oksomet
imesj
ust
togetpeopl
eoffmycase.
..
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

.
it
sshor
t.
..
..
#I
nser
t36

.
.
.
SPHA
.
.
.
"
Spha!
"Ihear
dsomeonecal
l
ingmyname.
.
"Spha!"Thev oi
cerepeatedit
sel
f,t
hevoi
cewas
famili
ar,itwasLina.It
urnedtol
ookforherbutI
couldn'tseeher.

"Spha!"Shecall
edoutagainbutthi
sti
meher
voicewast rai
l
ingoff
..
shewasf adi
ng.
.Iwas
panicking,l
ooki
ngforherevery
wherebutI
couldn'tfi
ndheranywher
e.."Li
na,
whereare
you?"Iscreamed..

"Spha!"Shecal
l
edoutagai
n,asawhi
sper
edand
beforeIknowit
,i
twasquit
e..
"Spha!"Avoi
cecall
soutagain,
butt
hist
imei
ts
notLina.
."
Spha!"andt
histimeIopenmyeyes
breathi
ngheavyandmyey esmeetmoms.
Her
:baddr
eam agai
n?Youwer
ecr
ying.
.

Iwi peawaymyt earsf ast.

.Ifindithar dt ofind
ther ightwor dst osay .Itsalmost3mont hsnow
andst illshehasn' twokenup.Mymom has
beenhi tt
ingIseeashr inkbutIr eall
yf i
ndi t
usel ess.Ev eryoneseemst ohav egivenupon
Lina. .
itsnotLi keIbl amet hem becauset hey
hav en' tbeenani mpr ov ement..Thingsar ejust
thesame.Ihav estartedgoi ngt owor k,keeping
busyhel psmecope. .
.Mom hasbeenst aying
withmef orsomet i
menow, Idontknow
why .
..shesay sshewant stosuppor tmebut
thisi st hesameper sonwhodi sl
ikedLi na.She
shoul dbecel ebr ati
ng.Phi li
pal socame, buthe
wentback. ..Thedoct orshav ebeensuggest ing
thatt hemachi nesshoul dbeswi tched
off,becausekeepi ngheronmachi nesisj ust
strainingherandmaki nghersuf fermor eforno
reasonbutLi
na'
sf at
herisn'
tbudging,am gl
ad
hestil
lhashopeforhisdaughter
..
.thesame
wayIdo...
am st
il
lholdi
ngon...Il
ookat
mom, whoishavi
ngaconcer nedlookon..

Me:
no,
i
tsnot
hing.
.
Her:
Spha,myboyyouneedtoseesomeone,you
needtotal
ktosomeone.Bott
li
ngthi
ngsl
ike
thi
sisnotheal
th
Me:whatIneedtodoi
sbat
h,goseeLi
nat
hen
dr
ivetowork..
.
Her
:yes,butam j
ustsayingthatseeinga
t
herapistwon'
thur t
..Am surethat
'swhatLi
na
wouldhav ewanted..
Me:don'tbri
ngLinaintothi
s,
youdontknow
whatshewoul dhav ewanted,
nobodydoes.
..
Whatshewant edwasy outoj
ustaccept
her
,acceptourrelat
ionshi
pandy oudi
dn'
tso
j
uststopi t
..
Her
:Spha.
.
Me:
mom Iwannabat
h..
.
Her
:ok.
.

Shewalkedout.Myheadwasj ustspinni
ng.I
rol
l
edoutofbedandwal kedtothe
bathr
oom,tookaquickshower.Withi
n10
minutesIwasalr
eadydressedupandwal ki
ng
downstai
rs.If
oundherfixi
ngbreakfast
..

Mom:
pleaseeat
..

Isatdownandst
art
edeat
ing.
..

Her
:am goi
nghomef
oraf
ewday
s..
Me:
ok
Her
:wi
l
lyoubeal
ri
ght
?
Me:
yes
Her
:Iwi
l
lhi
resomeonet
ohel
pyou.
.
Me:
no,
am f
ine
Her:
shewil
lj
ustwashy
ourcl
othescl
eant
he
houseandcook.
.
Me:
not
hanks.
.
Her
:pl
ease.
..Justf
or2day
sunt
ilIcomeback.
.
Me:
no.
.mom pl
ease
Her
:shewi
l
lcomet
omor
rowonl
y..
.
Me:
Wit
hyouIt
hinkIneedJesus
Her:
shewil
lcome,
hernamei
sJoy
ce,
shewi
l
l
hel
pout.
.
Me:what
ever
,butIdon'
twantt
ofi
ndherher
e
whenIcomeback..
Her
:sor
ted.
..
Me:
ok.
..
bye.
.
Isai
dst andi
ngupandwal ki
ngt omycar ,
Idr
ove
str
aighttothehospit
alfi
rst.Igoti
nsideher
room,andshejustlookedthesame. .
pale.
..

Me:
hey
..
.

Il
ookedathert hent ookherhand.Thi sday sI
don'
ttalktoomuch,Ij ustcomel ookathert el
l
herIl
ov eherthengo.I tsreal
lymuchbet terthat
way..
.sayi
ngal otofthingst r
igger
smy
emotions.Ist
ay edforalmost15mi nutes.
..

Me:
ok.
.am goi
ngtoworknow.
.Il
ovey
ouso
muchok.
..
Iwil
lcomeagai
ntomorr
ow.
..

Asiatt
empt edtoremovemyhandf r
om her
sI
swearIfel
therhandmov e.
.itr
eall
ydid
move..
it
snott hef
irstt
imeithappens.
.Thefi
rst
ti
meandsecondt hedoctorsaiditwas
ref
lex,
somethi
ngt
hatusuall
yhappensto
pati
entswhoarei
nICU..
.Ididn'
tgetsur
pri
sed,
oranythi
ng.
..

Me:
am goi
ngnow.
..

Iki
ssedherf
orehead..Lookedatherhandfora
whil
ebutnot
hinghappenedandsoIwal ked
out
,st
rai
ghtt
owor k.Arri
vi
ng,Pearlgaveme
cof
feeassoonasIgoti nmyof f
ice..
.

Her
:MrZwel
ani
washer
e..
(shewasr
efer
ri
ngt
o
mydad)
Me:
andwhatdi
dhewant
?
Her:
hesai
dhehashiredaPAf ory
outor
emi
nd
youofi
mport
antt
hingsthaty
oushoul
dn'
tmi
ss.
.
Me:
miss?Whathav
eIev
ermi
ssed?
Her
:themeet
ingWi
thMrDanv
il
le.
..
Me:
fuck!
howdi
dIf
orgett
hat
!!
!!
?
Her
:soy
ourPAi
sonherway
..
.
Me:
i
tsashe?
Her
:yes.
..
Me:
ok,
thanksf
ort
heupdat
e
Her
:i
tsmyj
obaf
teral
l
...
.
Me:
ofcause,
isEr
ici
n?
Her
:no,
hesay
shewi
l
lbei
nLat
e..
Me:
didhement
ionwer
ehewi
l
lbe?
Her
:somet
hingaboutgoi
ngf
orascan.
..
.
Me:
ohhhok.
.t
hanksf
ort
hecof
fee
Her
:youar
ewel
come.
.

Andwi tht
hatshewalkedaway .
.Iwasbusyon
myl apt
op,
comparingsomer eport
s..WhenI
heardaknock.Ir
aisedmyey estolookatthe
person.Awhit
egirl
,probabl
yinherearl
y
20's,
tal
l.
..
beautif
ulwithBl
ondhair
..
model
body,oceaniceyes.
..Shewasreal
lybeauti
ful
,
notli
keLi na.
.buti
nherownway .Ifi
gureditwas
thePA. .

Her
:goodmor ni
ngMrZwel
ani
,am Mar
leah
Sel
ma...YournewPA
Me:
Ifi
gur
ed.
.Pl
easecomei
n..

Shecamei
nandsatdown.

Me:
howol
dar
eyou?
Her
:22
Me:
shoul
dn'
tyoubeatschool
?
Her
:Iam cur
rent
lyonhol
i
day
,sowhynotwor
k?
Me:ok.
..
Ihavenev
erreal
l
yhadaPAsoIdont
knowhowt hi
sthi
ngswork.
..
Her:i
tsok,youhav eameet i
ngwi t
hMrDanv il
l
e
i
n10mi nutes,discussingabouthisPoli
cy,l
ater
at1030a.my ouhav eameet ingwithMalcol
m's
company ,discussingtheirnewbusinessthat
shouldbeputi nouri nsurancethen1400hrs
youhaveal unchdatewi thMsSmi t
handher
Fathert
henaf t
erthaty ouwillbefr
ee..
Me:
wow!
!am i
mpr
essedImaysay
..
.
Her
:f
ir
sti
mpr
essi
onal
way
scount
s..
Me:yeahIguess.Iguesst
heyhav
eshowedy
ou
yourdesk?
Her
:yes.
.
Me:
okt
hat
'sgood.
.
Her
:Iwi
l
lleav
eyout
opr
epar
eforMrDanv
il
le'
s..
.
Me:
ok.

Shethenwal
kedout,
shereal
l
yknewher
pur
poseIguess.AsIwassti
ll
try
ingt
o
concent
rat
eIreceiv
edacal l
from t
hehospital,
myheartbeatabnormal
ly,wastheresomething
wrong?Didanyt
hinghappentoherperhaps?

Me:
hel
l
o?
Hospi
tal
:hel
l
o?Ar
ewespeaki
ngt
oMr
Sphamandl
aZwel
ani
?
Me:
yes.
.
Her:
youar
erequi
redt
ocomet
othehospi
tal
r
ightnow.
.
Me:
i
sther
eany
thi
ngwr
ong.
.
Her
:no,
pleasecany
ouav
ail
your
sel
f.
..
Me:
am onmyway
..

Ihungup,
tookmyjacketandmycarkeysand
star
tedwalki
ngoutwhenIbumpedint
oLeah
whoalmostfell
butIcaughther
..
Her:
ohham sor
ry,
ummhseemsli
keMrDanvi
l
le
haspost
ponedthemeet
ingf
ort
omorr
ow..
Me:gr
eat
,am goi
ngsomewhere,
Iwil
lbeback
nownow...
..
orImightt
akesometi
me..

Ididn'tev
enwaitforhertorespondIjust
rushedouttothehospital
.Arri
vi
ngt hereIwent
strai
ghttoherwardbutshewasn' tthere,Iwas
start
ingtopani
c..Isawherdoct orwalking
towardsme...

Hi
m:Sphamandl
ari
ght
?
Me:
yes.
..
Hi
m:comewi
thme.
.

Wewal
kedt
ohi
sof
fi
ce.
..

Hi
m:y
oumaysi
t.
.
Isatdownopposi
tehi
m..
.

Hi
m:ummhIhav
egoodnewsandbadnews.
..
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:thegoodnewsi
sthaty
ourf
iancéehas
sl
i
ppedoutofcoma

I
fIhav eeverhadgoodnewsbef orethi
sone
wast hebest .If
eltsomethi
ngheav ybeing
upli
ft
edf rom myshoul der
s,Ifel
thappy,
so
happy .AndtobelievehowlongIhav ewaited
fort
hisMoment ..
..t
hiswast hebestdayever
..

Me:
wow!
!whendi
dthi
shappen.
.
Him:i
nthemor ni
ng.
.Idon'tev
enunderst
and
howithappened,Imean..
shewasalr
eady
dead.
.t
heonlydif
ferencet
hatwasmadewas
thebeepingofthemachines.
..Ial
sodont
understandbutwhat
everiti
s..
.i
tshoul
dbe
thanked..
.
Me:
wow!Thi
sist
hebestnewsIhav
eev
erhad.
.
Hi
m:Ibel
i
eveso,
thebadnewsi st
hatshecan
sl
i
pbacktocoma..
thechancesar
ehigh
Me:
can'
tthatbepr
event
ed.
.
Him:am af
rai
dno..
soyoujustneedtoprayt
hat
shedoesn'
tsli
pbacktocomaandi fshedoesn'
t
thenshemightwakeupanyti
me..
Me:
ok.
..
am sohappyr
ightnow.
..
Hi
m:soam I
..
Me:
doesherpar
ent
sknow?
Hi
m:y
es,
theyar
eont
hei
rway
..
Me:
ok,
canIgoseeher
..
Hi
m: ofcause.
..
webeliev
eyouaretheonewho
wakedherup,becauseimmedi
atel
yaftery
ou
l
eftt
hishappens.Shemusthavefelty
our
presenceandthelovey
oushar
ethati
t
encouragedhertofi
ght
..
Me:
yout
hink?
.
Hi
m:y
eah,
that
'st
hebestexpl
anat
ionIcancone
upwi
th.
.

Minuteslat
erIwasi nhernewr oom,
andshe
wasl ay
ingthere,
breathi
ngonheronbutthe
heartmonitorwasst i
l
l t
her
e..Shest
il
ll
ooked
pal
ebutt hatdi
dn'tbotherme...

Me:youdontknowhowl ongIhav ewait

edfor
thi
smoment .
..Am sohappyrightnow
babe..
pleasekeepfight
ingforus..
.pl
usit
smy
bir
thdayinafew...
andIdohopey ouwil
lhave
wokenupsoy ouspendt hedaywi t
hme...

Ihel
dherhandandkissedhersoftcol
dli
ps.
Shesti
l
llookedbeaut
if
ulasever.
..
herl
ipswer
e
dr
y,It
ookmyVasel
i
neandappl
i
edherl
i
ps.
.

Me:Icanthinkoft hethingswear egoingtodo

toget
herwheny ouwakeup. .
.am sti
l
lgoingt
o
takeyoutoNewZeal andormay beweshould
gotoPar i
s..
.pl
easedontsl i
pbackt o
coma,pl
easef ightforus...Iloveyouso
much...
mor ethanany thing..Til
leter
nit
y.
.
.
Istayedatthehospi t
alunt
ilherfami l
ycame. .
AftertheycameIdr ovebacktowor k..
..If
ound
Leahi nmyof f
ice,
tidi
ngupandpl acingmy
carelessl
yfol
dersthatwerelayingonmyt abl
e
nicel
ywhi l
e.Si
nging..

"
Mysoul
longsf
ory
ou,
Mysoul
longsf
ory
ou,
Not
hingel
sewi
l
ldo,
Not
hingel
sewi
l
ldo.
Mysoul
longsf
ory
ou,
Mysoul
longsf
ory
ou,
Not
hingel
sewi
l
ldo,
Not
hingel
sewi
l
ldo.

Ibel
i
eve,
youwi
l
lconel
i
ket
her
ain.
..
.
Ibel
i
eve,
youwi
l
lcome
Li
ket
her
ain.
..
."

Shest
oppedassoonasshesawme.

Her
:howl
onghav
eyoubeenst
andi
ngt
her
e?
Me:
l
ongenough,
youhav
ear
eal
l
yni
cev
oiceby
t
heway.
..
Her
:t
hanky
ou.
..
Me:
youseem happy
..
Her:
yeah,
myf r
iendssi
sterwhohasbeeni
n
Comahassl i
ppedoutofitandnowshe'
sjust
unconsci
ous.
.
Me:wow...
myfiancéehasalsosl
i
ppedoutof
coma,Iguesst
hingsarehappeni
ngtoday
..
Her
:t
ell
meabouti
t,
am sohappyr
ightnow.
.

Herey
eswer
eli
t.
.

Me:
arey
oual
esbi
an?
Her
:what
?whatmakesy
ousayt
hat
?
Me:thewayyourey
esLitwheny
oust
art
ed
t
alki
ngaboutthi
sfr
iend.
..
.
Her:
what.
.noam justhappythatt
hesi
steri
sout
ofdanger
..That
'sallpl
usthefri
endi
samal e
Me:
ok,
i
fyousayso.
..

Shel
aughedabi
t.
..

Her
:am notal
esbi
an.
..
Me:.
..
ok.
..
Ithought.
..
for
geti
t.
..
didMrDanv
il
le
sayt
hereasonf orpost
poni
ng?
Her
:hesai
dhehadanemer
gency
..
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:ummhl
etmel
eav
eyou.
..
Me:
ok.
..
.
If
eltr
eli
evedever
ytimeIwoul
dthinkabout
Li
na,Ij
usthopenothi
nggoeswrong.

.
.
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t37
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
Beingconstantl
yweak, feel
ingsomesor tof
heavyforceony ourbodyi ssomehow
frust
rati
ng.Hearingwhatpeopl earesay i
ngbut
notbeingabletor espondev enifyouwantt ois
reall
yhard.Iwasencl osedinadar khole,wher
e
Icouldn'
tescape.Icoul dhearthem tal
k,hear
them crybutIwasnotabl etorespondback,Iso
badwant edtosayi tsok,i
tsalr
ightever
y thi
ng
willbeok...Isobadwant edt osayIlov eyoutoo
toSphabutt hef orcethatheldmewast oo
strong.Ther ewasadi ff
erencet oday,Iactual
ly
didn'tfeelthatmuchheav yorweakt houghI
couldst i
llhearsomei rr
it
atingnoise..My
eyeslidsfeltheav ythoughbutst il
lIfoughtwith
them t oopenandaf t
eralongst rugglemyey es
opened.Myv i
sionwassomehowbl ur..I
couldn'tmakeoutt heobj ectsthatmuchcl earl
y.
Afterawhi leIhadt hedooropeni ng..

"
Youar
eawake!
!"
Theper
sonsaid,
Ireal
l
ycoul
dn'
tmakeoutwho
i
twasbutIcouldseeinmybl
urvi
siont
hati
t
wasamaleperson.

"UmmhIwanty outoshutyoureyesti
ghtl
yfor
atleast5secondsthenreopenthem"thevoi
ce
sai
dagai nandIfoundmy sel
fdoingwhatIhave
beent ol
d.Aft
eropeningmyey esagai
n,my
visi
onwasmuchbet ter,
Iact
uall
ycouldmake
outwhowast al
king..Itwasadoct or
..
.My
throatf
eltsodr
y,Ineededwat er
..

Me:
w..
.wat
er.
..
Hi
m:ok,
stayst
il
l

Hesai
dgoingout,
afterawhi
l
ehecameback
wi
thaglassofwaterandastr
aw.Hehel
pedme
dr
inkt
hewater.

Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
whatam Idoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:y
oudon'
trememberany
thi
ng?
Me:
noI
..
..

Theni
tal
lcameback,
Irememberi
tal
l
..How
Karent
ri
edtokil
lmebecauseofSpha.
.Istil
l
rememberSpha'
sface,
hi
ssadface.
..
Histears.
.

Me:
my.
..
.my
..
baby
?

Iaskedwi t
hat rembli
ngv oi
ce, Iknewt he
answerwel lt
ot hatquestionbutIwasst il
l
hopingotherwise..
.Iwasst il
l holdingmy
breath.
..Helookedatmewi thsadey esand
tearsfl
awed.Iknewt his,Ihadf ai
ledmybaby ,I
hadf ai
l
edSpha. .Whydi dn'tIjustdi e.Yes,
my
babywas2mont hsbutst il
l.
.Ilovedmybaby
andnowIhadl ostmybaby .Howcoul dIlett
hat
happen?Whatki ndofamot herwasI ?

Him:ummh..
.am goi
ngt
ocal
lyourf
iancéeand
yourfami
l
y..
Me:
no.
.Ij
ustwantt
obeal
one.
..Don'
tcal
lthem
Hi
m:but
..
-
Me:
please,
Ij
ustneedmySpace.
.

"That'
ssoself
ishLi
naconsi
der
inghowwewer
e
allworr
ied"

Av oicesaid,Ididn'tt
urnIknewi twashim,his
colognehadal readyf i
l
ledt hewhol eroom.
Tearsgushedev enmor easIl etmyheadf allto
myf ingers.Icoul dn'
tfacehi m, didhehateme
forlosinghischi l
d?Af teraf ewsecondsIf el
t
hishandsonme, Iwasbur iedinhisembr ace.
Suddenl yIfeltwar m,Ifeltsafeinhisarmsas
alway s.
.Iletitallout..

Me:
..
am.
.r
eal
l
y..
.sor
ry.
..I
..
Hi
m:shhhhh.
..
it
sok.
..
it
sok.
..

Hehushedmet
il
lIkeptqui
te.
..Iwasst
il
li
nhi
s
ar
ms.
.l
ockedsaf
elyt
her
e..

Hi
m:am gl
ady
ouaref
inal
l
yawake.
..
.It
houghtI
wasgoi
ngtol
osey
ou..
Me:am gl
adt
obeawake.
..
.howl
onghav
eIbeen
her
e?
Hi
m:3mont
hs.
.
Me:
that
'sal
ot!
Hi
m:t
ell
meabouti
t.
..
Me:
sor
ryabout
..
our
..
.
Him:i
tsok,asl
ongasyouar
eali
veam
happy.
..
pluswesti
ll
gatampl
eofti
metomake
babi
es..Alotandalot
!!
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou
Hi
m:notl
ikeme..
.Imi
ssedy
ouIev
ent
houghtI
wasgoi
ngtodie.
.
Me:
wel
lam her
enow.
.
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou
Me:Il
oveyout
oo,
Ihopey
ouhav
ebeen
behavi
ng.
.
Hi
m: obvi
ousl
ybabe,
ther
e'snoonel
i
key
ouout
t
here..
.
Me:
that
'sgood.
..

Iactuallyt
ookamomentt oobservehim,hewas
stil
lhandsome, ext
rahandsome. .
.Hewasext r
a
big,
Imeanhi sbody ..
.noti
nabadway .
.he's
muscl eswereabi tbiggerthanthel
asttimeI
remember edt hem.Hi shai
rcutwasjuston
point.
..hej
ustlookedsohotandsov ery
handsome. ..

Me:
wow!Youhav
echanged.
..
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
Imeany
ourmuscl
es,
they
..
.ar
ebi
g..
ina
goodway
..
Him:
Ilooksexydon'tI
?Ihav
ebeenwor
kingout
,
goi
ngtogymf requent
ly.
.
Me:
youl
ookandsmel
ledi
ble.
..
Hi
m:ohhmygosh.
.soper
vet
ed.
..

Hesaidi
ngirl
ishmannert
hatIcrackedsohard
i
nlaught
er.
.mytummyactuall
yhurtespeci
all
y
t
hepartwhereIhadbeenshot.

Me:
that
's.
..
.sogay
ishbabe.
.

Heal
soj
oinedmei
nlaught
er.

Him:Imi
ssedy oul
augh..Ev
eryt
hingabouty
ou..
.
YoucompletemeLi naandIneverwanttol
ose
you,
noteveragai
n..
Me:
youwon'
t.
.Ipr
omi
se.
.
Hi
m:Isoowannaki
ssy
our
ightnow.
..
Me:
andsowhosest
oppi
ngy
ou.
.?
.
Hi
m:t
hedoct
orssai
dIshoul
dn'
trushy
ou.
..
Me:
i
tsj
ustaki
ss,
itwon'
tki
l
lany
one.
..
.
Hi
m:am keepi
ngi
tshor
t.
.

Hecameclosert
ome,
cuppedmyf
ace.
..
and
l
ookedatme..

Him:yousoobeaut i
ful.
.,
every
thingabouty ouis
beauti
ful.
.Thet houghtofnotseeingt his
beauti
fulfaceev eragainmademewannaki l
l
my sel
f,i
tsuffocatedmeandi tsti
lldoes..Iwi l
l
neverall
owsucht ohappent oyouandI
promise,IswearIwi ll
kill
foryou..
.youar ev ery
i
mpor tanttome. ..
andIloveyoubey ondall
odds..
.Iloveyoumor ethanany t
hing...
Ifeltver
yemot i
onalashesaidthat
,If
elttear
s
Stingmyey es,
andthemi nut
eIbli
nkedthey
fel
l..
..Hepushedmyhai rback.
.

Him:andst arti
ngfrom t
odayam gonnat r
yto
makesur ey oucrytear
sofhappi nessnot
pain.
..
thel astthingIwantisseeingyouinpain.
.
Iknowam t oblamef oryoubeinghere,IKnowif
i
twasn' tfory oubeingwithmet henyou
wouldn'thav ebeenhere..
..
Me:
Spha.
..
Him:am sor r
yf oreveryt
hingthatbeingwithme
hasbr oughtyou,atfir
stIdenieditbutthenI
real
izedev ersinceyouhav ebeenwi thmey our
l
ifehasbeenf ullf
rom onedr amatoanot her.
.I
don'
tdeser vey ou...
..
Ineveractual
lydid.
.you
deservesomeonewhowi ll
makey ouhappy
everytime...
youdeser vesomeonewhowi l
ltr
eat
youlikethepr i
ncessy ouar e..
..
someonewho
act
ual
l
ydeser
veyourl
oveandasmuchasi
t
hur
tsmetoadmi
tthatper
sonai
n'
tme.
..
.
Me:what ?no..No!youcan' tdothattome. .Ilove
you,
Ilovey ousomuch. .
.youcan't.
.youjustcan' t
dothistome. .
youcan' tbreakmyhear tl
ike
thi
s..
wecanmaket hiswor k,
Iknowwe
can.
.pleasedon' tgiveuponus. .
.Ineedy ou, I
won'tsurviveany t
hingwi thoutyou..Il
ovey ou..
I
wantust ogetmar ried,andhav ethekidsy ou
wantust ohav e..Whendi dital
lchange. .Pl ease
don'
tleaveme. .
pleasedon' twalkawayf rom
us,
from me. .
.

If
elttearschockme, t
hehear tmonit
orstart
ed
makingnoi se.
..AndIcoul
df eelmyselfget
ti
ng
weakagai n,butthi
swasn'tt
het i
met obe
weak,Ineededhi mtoassuremei fhe'
sgonna
st
aywi thme. .
..

Me:
pleasedon'
tl
eav
eme,
staywi
thme.
.
Thiswassupposedtobeourhappymoment
butthiswastur
ningi
ntosomethi
ngIdidn'
t
l
ike..
.somet
hingIwasneverr
eadyfor
.

Me:i
sitme?IcanChange,
Icanbewanty
ou
wantmet obe.
.j
ustt
ell
whatam doi
ngwrong.
..I
wi
llf
ixit
..
.
Hi
m:hey,don'tcr
y..
it
snoty
ou,i
tsme.
..
Ilov
eyou
t
oo..
.Il
ovey ouverymuch..
.
Me:
thi
sisnothowy
out
reatpeopl
eyoul
ove.
..
.
Him:am sorr
y,am j
ustt
hinki
ngam doi
ngwhat
'
s
bestforyou.
.
Me:
no,
youar
ewhat
sbestf
orme.
..
nowki
ssme.
.

Ipul
l
edhi m closerbyhi
sshir
t,pl
aci
ngmylips
onhis.
..
nibbledmyl i
pssof
tl
yonhi s.Hebr
ought
mybodycl osertohisashekissedme,sohar
d
butpassi onately
..I
tfel
tast hef
ir
st.
..Thekiss
broughtbacksomanyf eeli
ngsIhadforgot
t en
tohav eexisted.Itmademyhear tbeat,
thesame
wayi talway sbeatwhenam wi t
hhim.Iwasl ost
i
nt hekiss,ithadcarri
edmeawayt oacaref ree
wor l
d..
.Ifel
tf r
ee..
.Hepulledoutaft
erawhile
andIwasal r
eadybreathi
ngheavil
y..
.

Hi
m:st
il
lgatt
het
ouchhuh?
Me:
i
nful
lfor
cebabe.
..
.pl
easedon'
tev
erl
eav
e
me.
.
Hi
m:Iwoul
dnev
er,
Ipr
omi
se.
..
Me:
good,
Inev
erwantt
oheary
ousayt
hat
..
Hi
m:i
tsadeal
..
.
Me:
weshoul
dbepr
epar
ingf
orourweddi
ng.
.
Hi
m:youst
il
lwannagetmar
ri
ed?Af
ter
ev
ery
thi
ng?
Me:
yes,
whynot
?Iwannabewi
thy
ou,
Iwanna
spendmyl
i
fewi
thy
ou.
..
.
Hi
m:wow!Andher eIthoughtIshoul
djust
f
orgetaboutitbabe.
..Welli
fthat'
swhatyou
wantthenwhynotbutwet el
lyourdadandhe
mustapprove..
Me:
yesSi
r.
.,
how'
sev
ery
one?
Hi
m:Idon'tknowandIdon'
tcar
e..
.WhatIknow
i
sam happyy ouar
eher
ewithme..
..
Me:
soam I
..
..
arey
oust
il
lgoi
ngt
otakemet
o
Par
is?
Hi
m:onourhoney
moon.
..
.
Me:
that
'sni
ce.
..
.can'
ti
tbehoney
moonal
ready
..
.
Him:wecanhavea2hour
shoney
mooni
fyou
l
ike.
.Idon'
tmi
nd..
Me:
Iwoul
dlov
ethat
..
but
..
am st
il
li
npai
n..
Hi
m:assoonasy
ougetoutofher
e..
Me:
yousuchaper
vet
..
Hi
m:andy
oul
ovemef
ori
t.
.
Heleanedov
ert
oki
ssmewhent
hedoct
or
camein.

Doc:
ummhIseey ouareinamuchbet
ter
mood,howaboutIexami
neyou.
.
Me:
goahead.
.
Spha:
Iwi
l
lcomebackl
ater
..
Me:
pleasedon'
tgo,
staywi
thme.
.
Hi
m:am j
ustgoi
ngt
o-
Me:
nopl
easest
ay.
..

Hesi
ghedthenwal kedbackt ome.Thedoct or
di
dall
hewantedwi t
hmyhandsi nSpha's.
.I
di
dn'
twanttoletgo...
Ijustwantedhim her
e
wi
thme..Af
terawhi lethedoctorlef
t.
.
Me:
i
sPear
lst
il
lther
ecept
ioni
st
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Me:
doesshest
il
ll
ikey
ou?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
Iknowshel
i
kesy
ou.
.
Hi
m:ev
eni
fshedoesIl
ovey
ouandy
ouonl
y.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e..
.am hungr
y..
Hi
m:goodt
hingIbr
oughtf
ood

Hesaidt
aki
ngsomepl ast
ic,
Ifi
guredhehad
comewit
hitonlyIdi
dn'
tseeit.Hetooksome
fr
uit
sandatakeawayandhandedt hem ov
ert
o
me..

Me:
ohhht
hanky
ou
Hi
m:any
thi
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.
Hi
m:whenar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
artsneaki
ng.
.?
Me:
andy
ou'
vest
art
ed.
..
Hi
m:what
?Iwasj
ustaski
ng.
..
.
.
.
Somet imelaterSphawasgone, hehadact uall
y
spendmostofhi st i
mewi thmebuthehadr ush
offt
ot heoffi
ce.Myf amilydidcome, theycame
whil
eSphawasst i
l
lher e.Mydadcoul dn'treall
y
hi
dehisr el
ief
..Hewassohappyi ncludingCr ai
g
andDebr a.
.Ispentthewhol edaywi t
ht hem.
Justbeingaroundpeopl ewhol ov eyoui sj
ust
amazingandbeaut i
ful.Iwasl aughingt he
wholeday .
.Theyleftaf ewmi nut esagoand
nowIwi thTanya,shecameaf ewmi nutesago.

Her
:am sogl
ady
ou'
vewokenup,
wewer
e
wor
ried.
Me:
am her
enow.
.
Her
:good,
am sur
eSphai
srel
i
eved
me:
yes.
..
sohowsDani
el.
?
Her
:he'
slov
ing,
car
ingandev
ery
thi
ngel
se.
Me:
that
'sni
ce.
..
Her
:ar
eyoust
il
lget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
Me:
yesandam soexci
ted.
.Ican'
twai
t.
Her:
thel
ovet
haty ouandSphasharei
sbeyond
anyhumanunderstandi
ng.
.Youguysarej
usta
cut
ecouple.
.notevendeat
hcantearyouapar
t
.
.
Yes,notev endeathcandousapar t.Ev
eryt
hing
thathasev erbeenthrownatuswemadesur e
west il
ltoget
her..Asmilecr
aptonmyf aceasI
j
ustt houghtofit
.Ifthi
sisNotlov
e,Idon'
tknow
whati ti
sandIdon' tcar
ejustasl
ongast he
feel
ingIhav eforSphaourconnecti
on,ourbond
st
il
lstayi
nmyhear
tthennot
hingcanev
erget
wrong.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
.
.
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

#I
nser
t38
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
.
May beifonedayIwoul dhav ebeenaskedwhat
Iwantedi nmyl i
fe, Iwoul dhav et ot
allysaid
quit
etheopposi tef r
om whati shappeni ng.This
wasn'tthewayIhadpl annedmyl i
fe.
..but
howev erIdon'tr egr etany t
hingt hathasbr ought
meher et oday.Icanact uall
yv oiceoutandsay
am happy ,f
orIhav ef oundhappi nessi tself
.
Somet imesl i
fedon' talway sbr i
ngt heexpect ed,
whatwepl anisn' twhatal way shappens.
Honest yalmostov er6mont hsagoIwoul d
havesai dloveiscr ap,loveisweakness,
somet hingIalway sav oidget ti
ngi ntobutt oday
hereIam, am happybecauseofl ove,lovehas
mademe.Ican' tr eall
ysayIr egretany t
hing,i
n
factam gladofev erythingthatl edmet o
Sphamandl a,
Idon' tknowwer eIwoul dhav e
beenifitwasn' tthatImethi m, whatIwoul dbe
ri
ghtnow.Af ewmont hsagoIwasi nhospi t
al,
andwi thhissuppor ttodayher eIam, ali
veand
kicking.Idon'tt
hinkIwoul dhav emadei t
withouthim.Ev ersinceIwasdi schargedfrom
thehospi talamont hago,wehav ebeen
prepar i
ngourweddi ng.It
sr eall
yfunbecause
wear edoingittogether
,justthewayIhad
pictureditinmymi nd.Soher eIam, am
wat chingTVwi thSphaannoy i
ngmeov erthe
phone. .
Hi
m:comeon
Me:
SphaIsai
dno.
.
Hi
m:babe.
..
Me:
sti
l
l am say
ingno,
youwi
l
lseeme
t
omorrow..
.
Hi
m:I
tst
oof
ar,
comeon.
.

Sphahasbeenbeggingmet ocomeoverhi
s
placef
orover30minutesnowandhe'
sstar
ting
toannoyme.
Hi
m:thankGodweget
tingmar
ri
ed.
..Iwi
llno
l
ongerhavet
obegtoseewhat
'smi
ne...
Me:
Ican'
twai
t.
..
Hi
m:Isti
l
lcan'
tbeli
evewegett
ingmarr
ied
t
omorrow,i
tfeel
slikeadr
eam..adr
eam Idon'
t
wantt
owakeupf rom..
.
Me:well
youbet
terbel
iev
eitbabe,i
t'
shappeni
ng
andtomorr
owwewi ll
beoffi
cial
l
yhusbandand
wif
e..
.

Him:
andyouwil
lbeoff
ici
all
y22,
thi
sisy
ourl
ast
dayofbei
ng21year
s..
.

Sphahadact
ual
l
yv oi
cedoutthatweget
marri
edonmybir
thdayandIcan'tr
eal
l
ysayi
ts
abadthi
ng.
Me:
Ifeel
sogr
ownup.
..
."
Withouthesi
tat
ionIst
art
edsi
ngi
ngj
ustt
o
annoyhim

"Idon'
tknowabouty
ou
ButI
'
mfeel
i
ng22
Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbeal
ri
ght
I
fyoukeepmenextt
oyou
Youdon'
tknowaboutme
ButI
'
llbety
ouwantt
o
Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbeal
ri
ght(
alr
ight
)
I
fwej
ustkeepdanci
ngl
i
kewe'
re
22,
ooh-
ooh(
oh,
oh,
oh)
22,
ooh-
ohhh

I
tfeel
sli
keoneoft
hoseni
ght
s,
Wedi
tcht
hewhol
escene.
I
tfeel
sli
keoneoft
hoseni
ght
s,
Wewon'
tbesl
eepi
ng.
I
tfeel
sli
keoneoft
hoseni
ght
s,
Youl
ookl
i
kebadnews.
Igot
tahav
eyou,
Igot
tahav
eyou.

Ooh-
ooh
Ooh-
ooh,
ye-
e-e-
e-eah,
hey
Idon'
tknowabouty
ou(
Idon'
tknowabouty
ou)
ButI
'
mfeel
i
ng22
Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbeal
ri
ght
I
fyoukeepmenextt
oyou
Youdon'
tknowaboutme(
youdon'
tknow
aboutme)
ButI
'
llbety
ouwantt
o
Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbeal
ri
ght
I
fwej
ustkeepdanci
ngl
i
kewe'
re
22,
ooh-
ooh
22,
ooh-
ooh
22,
ooh-
ooh,
yeah,
yeah
22,
ooh-
ooh,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah

I
tfeel
sli
keoneoft
hoseni
ght
s,
Wedi
tcht
hewhol
escene
I
tfeel
sli
keoneoft
hoseni
ght
s,
Wewon'
tbesl
eepi
ng
I
tfeel
sli
keoneoft
hoseni
ght
s,
Youl
ookl
i
kebadnews,
Igot
tahav
eyou,
Igot
tahav
eyou.
"
ThemomentIkeptqui
tewebur
sti
nlaught
er.

Hi
m:t
obehonestbabey
ouhav
ehor
ri
blev
oice
Me:what?ni
ggaIqual
i
fyt
obeBey
oncé'
sback
upsinger
..
Hi
m:ohhpl
ease.
.
Me:
am tel
li
ngyou,
youknowi
tisreal
l
yaper
fect
i
deatogetusmarri
edonmybirt
hday..
Hi
m:Iknow.
..
.i
tmakest
hedayext
raspeci
al.
.
Me:
yes,andIhopeev
ery
thi
nggoeswel
l
t
omorrow..
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryi
tWi
l
l..
.

It
henhear
daknockont
hedoor
..

Me:
ummhbabeI
'
vegatt
ogo,
ther
eissomeone
ont
hedoor
..
Hi
m:ok,
Iwi
l
lcal
lyoul
ater
..
Ilov
eyou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
.

Andwi ththatIhungup.Iwal kedtothedoor

andIgotsomesur pri
seIhav etosay .Jer
emy
wast here,
onmydoorl ooki
ngsof ly.
.ver
yhot..
Myi nsti
nctstol
dmet obangt hedooronhi s
facebutsomeot herpartofmej ustthoughti
t
wasunnecessar y..
.

Me:
whatdi
dIdot
ogetsuchasur
pri
se?
Hi
m:won'
tIcomei
n?
Me:
whywoul
dyouwannacomei
n?
Hi
m:somuchf
orhost
il
it
y..
.
Me:t
hisi
sthebestIcanof
fer
..
.unf
ort
unat
elyf
or
you.
.
Hi
m:If
igur
ed.
.
Heremovedhisshades,
pushedmeoutoft
he
doorandgoti
nsidethehouse.
..

Hi
m:y
ouneedsomeonet
oteachy
oumanner
s..

Hesaidashemadehi
msel
fcomf
ort
abl
eont
he
ki
tchenst
ool
..

Me:
ohhplease,
youar
et helastper
sont
osay
t
hat
..
.howaboutyoustart
..
?
Hi
m:Iseey
ouhav
ewel
lrecov
ered.
.
Me:
cl
ear
ly.
..

Hedidntrepl
y ,
i
nsteadhejustl ookedatme,but
i
twasn'tthecoldlookheal way sgiv
esme,thi
s
onewasdi f
ferent.
..Icoul
dn'texplai
nit
..
itwas
j
ust.
..
justdi
fferent
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m: soy
ounotgoi
ngt
oof
fermeany
thi
ngt
o
dr
ink?
Me:what
?cutt
hechaseJer
emyDr
ew.
.whatdo
youwant?
Hi
m:Iheary
ouar
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed.
.
Me:
that
'st
rue.
.
Hi
m:Iwasexpect
ingtheopposi
te,
youdon'
t
l
ookli
ket
hemar r
iagetype.
.
Me:
andwhatdot
hemar
ri
aget
ypel
ookl
i
ke?
Him:
Idon'
tknowbutt
heydef
inat
lydon'
tl
ook
l
ikey
ou..
Me:
what
'
sthatsupposedt
omean?
Hi
m:am nother
etof
ight
..
.
Me:
ohhwel
lthat
'sar
eli
ef.
.

Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
oref
ri
ger
ator
,tookoutj
uiceand
pouredforbot
hofus..
.Ihandhim overt
he
gl
assofj ui
ce.
.het
ookandplaceditonthe
counter
..

Hi
m:ar
eyousur
ethi
siswhaty
ouwant
?
Me:
yes,
ImeanIl
oveSpha.
.
Hi
m:yes,butyou.
..
don'
tgetof
fendedbuty
ouar
e
st
il
lyoung..
Me:
Iknow,butIcan'
tpossi
blysayam t
ooy
oung
f
orl
ove..
Him:maybeIcanhel
pyour
eal
l
yknowi
fyouar
e
sureaboutt
his.
.
Me:
how?

Hestoodup,al
lalongIhav ebeenl eaning
agai
nsttheref
ri
gerator.
..Hewal kedupt o
me,unti
lhewassocl osetome. .
.itmademe
superuncomfort
able.
.Hewast oocl oseformy
l
i
king.
..
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?

Iwhi
sper
ed.
..Ihadl
ostmyv
oicei
nst
ant
ly.
..

Hi
m:whatIhav
eal
way
swant
edt
odo.
.

Hebr oughthisfaceclosert
omi ne,unti
lIcould
actuall
yfeelhi
sbr eat
h.Mymi ndwasr acing..
.I
cant.
..I.
.Icantdot hi
stoSpha..Ilovehi m..I
cant.
..Idontwanttohurthimliket his..
.Ididn'
t
evenknowwhatt odot hatmoment ...

Me:
please,
stop.
..
.t
his.
..
it
s..
.wr
ong.
.

Hedidn'
tinfacthebroughthisfacemuchmore
cl
oserandallIwantedtodot hatmomentwas
j
ustrun.
..
Icouldn'
tl
etthishappen,butmybody
wasf r
ozen..
.Iwasjustst andingt hereallfroz en
withmyhear tbeati
nghar dagai nstmyt op,am
surehecouldher eit.
..Icl osedmyey esashe
camemuchcl osertomecl osingt hegap
betweenourl i
ps.Ididn'twantt oseewhatwas
goingtohappennextbutNot hinghappened, my
heartwasstil
lbeatingf ast ,
Isti
llkeptmyey es
shutforafewsecondsandst i
llnothing
happened.Reliefst
artedcr appingi ntomeand
themomentIopenedmyey esIf el
thi sl
ipson
myneck...
Igaspedl oudl y..Hedi dn'tdoany t hing,
hejustpl
acedt hem ther e...Thenaf teraf ewhe
tookafewst epsback. .

Hi
m:whycoul
dn'
tyoust
opme?
Me:
youwoul
dn'
tdot
hat
,Sphai
syourf
ri
end.
.
Hi
m:sowhat
?
Me:
andIl
ovehi
m andyouknowit.
.y
ouki
ssi
ng
mewoul
dn'
thavechangedany
thi
ng..
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eaboutt
hat
Me:yes..
.Il
ovehim,Il
ov ehim moret
han
anyt
hing.He'smyl i
fe..
..
andthankyoufordoi
ng
that
,nextti
mesomeonewi l
lcomeclosetome
moret hantheyshould.
.Itswar!
Hi
m:y
our
eal
l
ydol
ovehi
m don'
tyou?
Me:Ido,
he'
sev er
ythi
ngIhaveeverwantedand
wi
shedfor,he'smysal v
ati
on.
..Icantsur
viv
e
wi
thouthim..he'sever
ythi
ngIneed
Hi
m:Icanseet
hatnow.
..
butmar
ri
age?
Me:yes,andIdon'
tregr
etmydeci
sions,
am
actuall
yhappythatwehavecomethisfar
togetherandtomorrowwefi
nal
lymakei t
offi
cial.
..
Hi
m:wel
lgoodl
uckwi
tht
hat
Me:bei
ngni
cei
swei
rdony
ou.
..
itdoesn'
tsui
t
you
Hechuckl
ed.
..

Him:
sameappl
iest
oyou.
..
.Ihav
enev
erseen
yout
hisni
cet
ome
Me:
that
'sbecausey
ounev
ergav
emear
eason
t
o..
Him:Ireall
yli
key ou.
..
ever
ythingabout
you..
.i
s..
just.
..
Idontknowbuti tj
ustdrawsme
closertoyou.Am nottherelati
onshi
pt y
peof
guy..
Me:
Ihav
enot
iced.
.

Hesmi
l
edabi
t.
..

Him:yeah,
I'
venev erfel
tthi
swayonany one.
.f
ir
st
ti
meIact uall
yreali
zedIfel
tsomet hi
ngf ory
ouI
tr
iedtodenieyitbut..
.t
hefeel
ingjustkept
gett
ingstronger.
..
.Ican'
tevenexplai
nhowhar d
i
tist
odot
his.
..
toact
ual
l
ytel
lyout
his.
.

Me:
Icani
magi
nehey
..

Isai
dsi
ppi
ngsomej
uice.
.

Him:butyouknowt hesay i
ng..Lov
eiswheny
ou
arewill
i
ngt oletgoofpeopley oul
oveand
seeingthenhappyeveni fyouareNott
heone
givi
ngthem thehappiness.
..
Me:
wer
edi
dyouheart
hat
..
.?
Hi
m:am t
ryi
ngt
obeser
iousher
eLi
na.
.
Me:
soam I
..
.

Hegavethe"don'
tfuckwithme"look.
.Ij
ust
l
aughed.Honestl
yIdidn'
tknowwhathewant ed
metosay..
..
Ireal
lydi
dlovemyfiancé.
..
Me:
youwannabesi
deni
ggaorwhat
?
Hi
m:st
opdr
inki
ngcaf
fei
newi
thy
ourear
s..
Me:
thenwhatdoy
ouwantmet
osay
?
Hi
m:not
hing.
.Yet
Me:
Il
oveSpha.
.
Hi
m:Inev
ersai
dyoudi
dn'
t.
.
Me:
andam nev
ergoi
ngt
oleav
ehi
mfory
ou.
.
Him:
Iknowbutyounev
erknowwhatt
omor
row
canbr
ingyou.
..
Me:i
finmyt
omorr
owt
her
e'snoSphat
henI
woul
dbedead.
.
Bef
orehecouldrespondt
herewasaknock,I
wenttoopenthedoorandTanyat
hrusther
self
i
n..
butstoppedhal
fwayonseei
ngJeremy..
.

Her
:Mr
..
..
.ummhLi
nawhati
shedoesn'
ther
e?
Me:
Jer
emywasj
ustl
eav
ing.
..Ri
ghtJer
emy
?
Hi
m:y
eah,
seey
ouar
ound.
.
Me:
no,
seey
out
omor
row.
.
Hi
m:ofcause.
..

Hewalkedoutofthehousel
eavi
ngwit
hTany
a
wholookedl
ikeshewasawaiti
ngsome
answers
.
.
.
CRAI
G
.
.
Iwashavingl
unchwithLeah,eversi
nceLina
recov
eredwehavebeenspendi ngmoreti
me
toget
herandIcansayIfeelhappyandfr
ee
whenshe'saround,i
nf actmorethanNat
ti
e
ev
erdid.Leahisdif
ferent,di
ff
erenti
nagood
way.
..
Me:soyouwil
lbemydat
etomor
rowatmy
si
ster
'sweddi
ng?
Her
:Gosh,
ai
n'
tIlucky
...
Ihavebeeni
nvi
tedt
o
t
woweddingstomorrow..
Me:
whoel
sei
sget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
Her
:myboss
Me:
soy
ourbossi
nvi
tedy
out
ohi
sweddi
ng?
Her:
he'
snotli
kethoseupt
ightoff
ice
guys,
act
ual
lyhe'
stheopposit
e...
.wedon'
teven
cal
lhiminaformal
lywayjustbyhisname.
.
Me:
wow!
!whosehe?
Her
:Sphamandl
a..
Me:
Zwel
ani
?
Her
:howdi
dyouknowhi
m?
Me:
he'
smar
ryi
ngmysi
ster
..
.
Her:
ohhIsee..
.youknowwheneverIt
alked
aboutyoursi
sterhewoul
dsaythesamet hi
ng
aboutHisfi
ancée
Me:
ohh.
..
so?
bemydat
e?y
es?
no?

Shethendidtheunexpected,
sheleanedover
andkissedme,Idi
dn'
thesitat
esoIkissed
back.
..Shepull
edoutafterawhi
lethenhidher
facei
nherhands..

Her
:am.
.so.
.sor
ry
Me:noi
tsok,
pl
usIli
key
ou.
.so.
.y
eah.
.i
nfactI
hav
ealwayswant
edtodot
hat.
..

Shesoftl
ylaughed,
Ireall
ydi
dli
keherbutI
neverr
eall
yknewhowt osayi
t.
.

Her
:wel
lIl
i
key
out
oo
Me:
soy
ouwi
l
lbemydat
e?
Her
:whynot
?
Me:
that
'sgr
eat
..
.i
sitsaf
etosayIl
ovey
ou?
Her
:isn'
ti
ttoosoonf
ort
hat
?
Me:i
tsnotli
keam say
ingl
et'
sgetmar
ri
edbut
st
il
lIwouldn'
tmi
nd..

Shejustl
aughed,
shehadanamazingl
augh..
.I
don'
tknowbutIjustf
eltl
i
keshe'
stheonefor
me..
.

Her
:what
?

Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
zeIwasst
arr
ing.
.

Me:
youar
esobeaut
if
ul.
.
Her
:t
hanky
ou.
..
shesai
dshy
ly.
..

Me:
andthi
sisanewst
artf
orus.
..
wegoi
ngt
o
makei
tworkri
ght
?
Her
:Iwoul
dlov
ethat
..

Ihel
dherhands,
thi
swasmynewst ar
t,
astartof
somethi
ngnew..
.somet
hingt
hatact
uall
yfel
t
ri
ght
..
.
.
.

LI
NA
.
.
.
her
:so?
Me:
hel
i
kesme
Her
:Ihav
eal
way
ssuspect
ed.
.

Tr
ustTany
atobedr
amat
ic.
..

Her
:so?
Me:
so?
Her
:whatdi
dyout
ell
him?
Me:
Il
oveSpha
Her
:good.
..
soar
eyouexci
tedaboutt
omor
row?
Me:
am ner
vous.
..
.Iwi
shmymom washer
e..
Her
:she'
spr
oudofy
ouwher
evershei
s..
Me:
Iknow.
..
.
Her:
tomor
rowthi
sti
mey
ouwi
l
lal
readybe
someone'
swif
e..
Me:af
terev
ery
thi
ngwehav
ebeent
hrough.
.
Todayweareher
e..
Her:t
hat'
str
uelov
ebabe...Youguy
sar emy
numberonecouple.
..Youareamotiv
ationt
o
otherpeopl
e..
Me:
i
twasn'
teasy
..
Her:
i
tsnev
ereasy
..Isti
llf
eell
ikeweshoul
d
hav
eheldabri
dalpart
y..
.wecouldhav
ebooked
Jer
emyasourstr
ipper.
.
Me:
whatt
hef
uck?
Her
:yourj
eal
ousf
iancéi
sav
ibeki
l
ler

Ij
ustl
aughed.
..

Me:
youar
ecr
azyt
hough.
.
Her
:am bei
ngr
eal
i
sti
c..
.
Me:
canwej
ustf
ocusont
omor
row?
Her:
canyouwearyourgownagai
n,
Iwannasee
youagai
n..
youar
esobeauti
fuli
nit

BeforeIcoul
drespondther
ewasaknockon
thedoor,t
odayItwassurel
yvi
sitLi
na
day..
.Tany
astoodup..

Her
:t
hatmustbet
hegi
rl
s..

Mybr idesmaidswer egoingt obe

Jordanah,Tanya,2ofmycousi nsandt heyare
twinsSaigeandPai gethenl astl
yoneofTany a'
s
fri
endshernamei sTi ara.
.disadvantagesofnot
havingmanyf r
iends...
.Buttheni twascool .
..
so
theywer e5andunl i
kemeSphahadf ri
ends..He
hadJer emy,Eri
c,Edwar dandt heot heronesI
don'tknowt hem. .
..Thegirlsgotin, making
noiseasusual .
.Ast heywer est i
llmakingnoi se
try
ingt osett
ledownSphasentat ext
"Ireall
ywantt ol etyouknowhowmuchIl ov e
you,howmuchy ouarei mpor tanttome.IknowI
sayi tal otoftimesbutIdon' tseet haty ou
clearlyunder standwhatImean.Youar e
ever yt
hingIhav eev erwant edandmor e,Idon' t
regrety ou...
Idon' tknowi fitwasn'tf ory ouwhat
Iwoul dbe.Meet ingyou, wast hebestt hingt hat
hasev erhappenedt ome. .
youar esomet hing
outoft hisworld, nottoment ionhappy ,hilarious,
l
ov ingandabsol utel
ybeaut if
ulwithno
doubt .youhav eahear tofgol dthatshoul dbe
cher i
shedi nagl assboxandam honour edt obe
theonet ocher ishi t
.Youhav eanamazi ng
effectonmeandmyev erydaylifeandIseem t o
l
ov ey oumor eandmor eeachday .Yoursmi l
eis
j
ustst ucki nmymi nd,yourl aughandev er ything
else.Iam sopr oudandl uckyt ohav esomeone
l
ikey oui nmyl i
f e.Whenam wi thy ounot hing
canev ergowr ong.Youar ethebestt hing
any onecoul dev eraskf or.Ilovey ouso
much, mor ethanany t
hing.Il ovey ou.seey ou
t
omor
rowandt
rynott
obel
ate.
"

BythetimeIwasdoner
eadingIwasal
readyi
n
tear
s,t
hiswast
hemosttouchi
ngmessagehe'
s
eversent.
..

Tany
a:babewhat
'swr
ong?

Shecameov
ert
omet
hent
ookmyphone.

Her
:ohhh.
..
thi
sissor
omant
icguy
ssee

Shegav
ethephonet
ogi
rl
s..
.

Tany
a:y
ouar
esol
ucky
..
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
..
.
.
.
*
***
TobeCont
inued*
**
[
06/
16,
10:
49]Ron:
Tor
ment
ed

*
***
FINALI
NSERT*
***
.
.
.
SPHAMANDLA
.
.
Standingthereandjustlooki
ngatmyr ef
lecti
on,
refl
ecti
ngdownonmyl i
fewasprettyamazing
consideri
ngwher eIam now.Getti
ngmar ri
ed
wassomet hi
ngIhav ealwayswantedtodobut
mar r
yingLina,wasjust.
..Thebi
ggest
achi
evementIhaveeverdone.ItfeltgoodthatI
wasgoingtospendtherestofmyl ifewit
h
someoneIlove,
someonethat '
sveryimportant
tomemor ethananyt
hingandIwoul dn'
ttr
ade
anyt
hingforher
.Iwasbusychecki ngmy sel
fon
themirr
or,t
odaywastheday .Thi
swasi t
,t
he
doorswungopenandEr i
cgoti n.

Hi
m:youl
ookgooddude,
whatar
eyoust
il
l
l
ooki
ngat
?
Me:
per
fect
ingmyl
ook
Hi
m:perf
ect
ingmyassl
et'
sgetgoi
ng.
..
weneed
t
oarri
veabitear
ly.
.
Me:
whycan'
tthegr
oom bet
heonet
oar
ri
vel
ate?
Hi
m:Sphawecan'
taff
ordbei
ngdumpedby
Li
na.
..
nott
odayatl
east
Me:
okf
inel
et'
srol
l
..
Him:
yeah..
..
waitIt
hinkam supposedtoask
yout
his.
..
areyousureaboutthi
s?Isthi
swhat
y
ouwant
?
.
.
.
LI
NA
.
.

Me:
yes.
..
thi
siswhatIwant
..
Debra:i
fyouar
esur
ethenwel
lev
ery
thi
ng
shouldgowell
..

Ofcauset hisi
swhatIwant edImayseem t o
youngf ormarri
age,yesbutIwon'ttrade
anythingforSpha.He'smyev eryt
hing.
..Us
beinghere,t
heroadwasn' tf
ullofsweetsand
rosesbutithadt hor
nsalongway ..
.i
twashar d
andt odaywear ehere.
..
toget
herandst rongas
ever.
..IsatdownonmybedandDebr acame
andsatbesi desme,herandmymakeupart
ist
helpedmedr essupwit
hthet
hehel
pofTany a
ofcause.

Her:Iknowam noty ourmom, andIcannever

repl
aceher .
..
oreventryt obutIr eall
ylov
eyou
Linaasmyownbabygi rl.
...Nomat terwhat
.I
j
ustwanty out oknowt hatnomat t
erwhat
happensifyouneedt ot alk,ifyouneedadvice
youcanal wayscomef eel Free. .
.
Me:IknowIwasn'tt
heeasiestpersontoget
al
ongwi t
h,andf
orthatIapol
ogize..
.-
Her :
nono...
don'
tapol
ogize..
.Il
ongforgaveyou
plusitsthethi
ngsofthepast..
.t
odayisthe
futurebaby.
.weneedtof ocusonit
..
.t
hisis
wher ewear et
odayandam happywecannow
talkandlaughtoget
her,cooktoget
her..
.Thi
sis
thefutureandweshouldembr aceit
..
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.
IsaidasIthrewmy sel finherarms. .
.Ireall
ydi d
l
ov eher,
may beallalongIhav ebeent o
stubborntoreali
zeitbutDebr afi
ll
sthemot her
roleforme,sheactsl ikeamot hertome. .
that
sheis.Mightbebi ologi calornotbutst ill
..
..
she
hasbeent hereformeev ersinceandIal way s
throwitherface.Somet i
meswedon' tr eal
ize
wehav ewhatweneedr i
ghtinfrontofus. .
Somet i
mesi nli
fether ear ethosepeopl ewho
l
ov eusandwantnot hingbutt hebestf orusbut
becausewehav eacl oudedhear tsomet i
mes
wet endnottoseei t.ShehuggedmebackandI
heldherti
ghtly.
..
Her
:andIl
ovey
out
oo.
..

Thent
her
ewasaknockont
hedoor
..
.

Debr
a:l
etmegett
hat
..
..
Shestoodupandwal kedtot
hedoor..
.Ir
eal
i
zed
Iwasont heedgeofcryi
ngsoIbli
nkedmy
tearsawaybef or
eDebracamebackand
surpri
singlyshecamewithdad.
.

Me:
dad.
..
!
Hi
m:l
ookaty
ou.
..
.sobeaut
if
ull
i
key
ourmom.
.

Ibl
ushed.
..
.Ireal
lydidl
ooklikemy
mom...
exceptthehairofcause..
herswaspur
e
bl
ackandst r
aightandminei sabitbr
owni
sh
andit
scurl
y .
..
..
Hi
m:yourmom tol
dmetogi
veyousomet
hing.
..
Onthedayofy
ourweddi
ng.
..
Me:
whati
sit
?

Het
ookoutasmal
lbox,
thent
ookouta
necklace,adi
amondneckl aceanddi
amond
earr
ings..
.t
heylookedsoBeautif
ulmoret
han
anythingIhav
eev erseen.
.

Hi
m:thi
swereyourmother'
smom.
.t
hat
'
syour
Gr
andmother
..
.Relai
ne.
..
Me:
theyar
esobeaut
if
ul.
..
.
Him:y
eah..
sheaskedmet
ogi
vet
hem t
oyouon
yourweddi
ngday..
.

Tearswer ealr
eadystreamingdown...Dad
helpedmeweart henecklaceandthe
earri
ngs...
hemademel ookatmy sel
fonthe
mirrorandIreall
ydidlookbeauti
ful.
.Isawmy
mom onme. ..
herbeautyrefl
ect
edonme. ..
tear
s
keptroll
ingrui
ningthewhol emakeup..
.

Hi
m:andt
her
e'sonemor
e..
.
Hetookmyl apt
opthatwasont hehair
dresser
andinsert
edadiscinside..
.Wewaitedabut
unti
li
tstart
edplay
ing..
.itwasmom. .
she
appearedonthescreen,itwasavi
deo..

Her: hi Li
na,ifyouar ewat chingt histhenIguess
todayi tsy ourweddi ng,yourdaysnuggl es..
.am
sopr oudofy oubaby .
..
bei ngher eshowsy ou
thaty ouar enowmat ure.
...youhav egrowni nto
agr ownupwomanwi t
hf ullresponsibili
tyand
readyt ostartafami ly.
..
..
.Iknowam notwi th
your ightnowbutam t herei ny ourhear t
alway s...
am wat chingov ery oupumpki n..
.
Thoseear r
ingsIgott hem f rom mymom who
gott hem f rom hermom al so...
andIt rusty ou
willgiv ethem ov ertoyourchi l
dwhowi l
lalso
passt hem ov er.
..Iam sor ryIcan' tbethere
todaybutIt r
usty ouarelooki ngbeaut iful
..I
hopet hatboyknowshowmuchl uckyhe
i
s..
.nowsmi
l
eforme.
..
smi
l
eformeLi
na.
.

Imanagedtoputupasmileev
eni
fmyf
ace
wasalr
eadyful
lwit
htear
s..

Her:ok...
Ilov
ebaby ..
Iloveyousomuch. ...
and
am pr oudofy ou.
..
.Victor,
thankyouf orraisi
ng
suchabeaut i
fulgi
rl.
.mybeaut i
ful gi
rl
..
.Then
shedi sappearedfrom thescreen..Thet apehad
fi
nishedpl ayi
ng..
.Myhear tbled..
.andIst oodup
andr ushedt othebat hr
oom wer eIlocked
my selfinandjustcriedoutloud...Imissed
her..
Imi ssedhersoomuch. .
.
.
SPHA
.
.
Iwasreall
ygett
ingimpat
ient
,shewasjust
10minut
eslatebutmyheartwasat
unease,
evenherfr
iendswerenother
e..
..
.of
causeshewascomi ngbecauseshelov
esme..

Er
ic:
don'
twor
ryshe'
scomi
ng.
..

Hewhi
sper
ed.
..

Me:
yeah.
..
ofcauseshei
s..

Il
ookedbehi
ndme.
.andsawEdwar
dwhowas
gr
inni
ng.
.

Me:
what
.?

Hewaswear
ingasui
tal
mostl
i
kemi
nebuthe
wasn'tthebestmanEr icwas...
Philippromi
sed
toattend,ofcausehehadtor egardlessof
anything.
.Wear ebrot
hersafterall
.Ibrowsed
overthecr owdandoureyesmet ,
heputupa
smileandIr etur
nedit
.Am justgladwedi dn'
t
partway sbecauseofanythi
ng...Ilookedback
atEdwar d..

Him:Ihav
eal wayswant
edtodot hi
sonyour
wedding.
..ThoughIst
il
lthi
nkIshoul
dhave
beenthebestman..
.
Er
ic:
arey
ouhi
sfr
iend?
Edwar
d:y
es.
..

Ij
ustl
aughed.
..

Er
ic:
Fri
endmydi
ck!
!am hi
sonl
yfr
iend.
.
Il
ookedatJer
emywhoj
ustshr
uggedhi
s
shoul
der
s..
.

Jer
emy
:whyi
sshet
aki
ngl
ong?
Er
ic:
pat
iencebr
other
s..Pat
ience.
..
Allal
ongaswewer etal
king,thepeoplewer e
fi
ll
i
ngal lthechai
rs...
onthesideofal engt hy
pool.
.andi nthemiddleofthepool t
herewasa
bri
dget hatshewoul dwalkont ocomet ome. .
wehadbookedi t.
..
itwassobeaut if
ul i
fy ouask
me,ont hesidesofthepool therewerelitup
candles.Theweddi ngplannerreal
lydidout di
d
herself
..
.
Ilookedov eratmywat ch..
.20minutesnow. ..
I
tookadeepbr eathjusttocalm my self
..
thisis
nor mal.
.i
thappens..Ikeptrepeati
ngt hi
si nmy
head...Thepriestwasj uststandi
ngt here..
.and
everyone'seyeswer eonus. .
somef ewmi nutes
l
at erwehadcarhoot ers.
..
.myhear tbeat
accelerated.
.Ok..t
hiswasi t!
Afterawhi l
eherfr
iendsemerged,walkedupto
us..Isobadwantedt oaskTanyawhathad
takent hem sol
ong.Theydidlookbeauti
ful
that
EricandEdwar dwhistl
edastheycamet owards
us..

Er
ic:
whendi
dJor
danahst
artbei
ngbeaut
if
ul.
.
Jer
emy
:st
ayawayf
rom mysi
ster
..
Eri
c:
mxm..
.Iwasjustcompl
iment
ing..
.Any
way s
Iwoul
dntmindhavinga3somewi t
hthetwins.
..

Edwar
dlaughed.
..

Edwar
d:IwonderhowNat
ali
efeel
s..
Eri
c:
wedidn'
tsi
gnupf
orar
elat
ionshi
pshe
knowsi
t.
..
Thepast orshushedusi ndicati
ngwewer e
makingnoi se,everyonewasnowqui t
e...My
eyesgotgl uedont heent rance,whenher e
comest hebr idesongwaspl ayedbyapi ani
st
wehadhi r
ed...Sheemer gedwi thherdadand
shelookedbr eat ht
aking..
.Shelookedr eall
y
real
lybeaut i
ful.
..Thegownal sodidno
mercy..
.shelookedl i
keanangel ..
.Asshe
walkedtowar dsmemyhear tbeatfasterand
fast
er.
..
wassher eall
ymi ne?
.
.
LI
NA
.
.
Mycr yi
nghadt akenl
ongerthananti
cipat
ed, I
openedthebat hr
oom dooraft
erdadthreatened
tobreakit
..
.mymakeupwasf i
xed.
..AndI
l
ookedbeaut i
fulonceagai
n..
onourwayher e,
I
camewi t
hmydad. .Heaskedmemor et
han
twotimesifthisiswhatIwantandmyanswer
wasthesame, Iguesshedoesn'twantme
makingami stake..
.butIwassur
ethiswasn'
ta
mist
ake..
thiswasmyr oadtohappi
ness.

Wewer enowwal ki
ngt oSpha,wholookedso
hot.
..Hewasonf ir
e..
.Justl
ookingathi m made
mykneesweak, that'
showmuchhi sef fecton
mecanget .
.Somet i
mesIev enwonderhowI
gothim,Imeant her earealotofgirl
swhoar e
beauti
fulmor ethanmebutst il
lhechoseme.I
di
dn'treal
izewehadal readyreachedhi m unt
il
wewer erightinfrontofhim...
.Hesmi l
edat
me,thatsmilewhi chmel t
smyhear t...Mydad
handmeov erthensmi l
edatmebef or eleavi
ng
me..

Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul.
..
Hesai
dsqueezi
ngmyhandssof
tl
y.
..
Me:
youl
ookhot
..
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.
..

Wel
aughedatt
hatr
etar
dsent
enceofhi
s..
.

Me:
yousof
ull
ofy
our
sel
f.
..

Beforehecoul
drepl
ythepast
orst
art
ed
tal
king.
..
.

Pastor:Goodmor ningfamilyandfri
ends,today
wegat heredhere.
..Towi t
nessthebeautif
ul,
marvelousandspeci aluni
onofthisyoung
peopleLinaVanGeor geandSphamandl a
Zwelani.
..Andtheylooksobeaut i
ful
..
..
Thisyoungpeopleareheretodaybecauseof
thelovetheyshar
e..
.becauseofthest
rong
bondbet
weent
hem.
hal
l
eluj
ah.
.
Congr
egat
ion:
Amen!
Past or:f
orJesussai d"Godmadeamal eanda
femal e.
'Forthisr easonamanshal ll
eavehis
mot herandf atherandbej oinedwi t
hhiswife,
andt hetwoshal lbecomeonef l
esh.Sotheyare
nolongert wof leshbutonef lesh.what
thereforeGodhasj oi
nedtogether,l
etnotman
putasander "forwear eherefamilyandfri
ends
tojointogetherThi st
woy oungpeopl eandas
theyar ejoi
nedt heywon' tbetwobutoneast he
Bibl
esay sHall
el ujah.
.
Congr
ess:
Amen.
..
Pastor:
thi
syoungcoupl
edecidedtowrit
ethei
r
ownv owel
ssolet'
shearwhattheyhav
et osay
toeachother
..
Spha:y
oudon' tknowhowhappyIam t hatwe
areher
e...
Iam happyam standi
ngwithyouhere
Today.
.Ican'
treall
ysayt
hef i
rstt
imeIsawy ouI
knewyouwer etheone..
..
buttheminuteI
real
izedwhatIf el
tfory ouy oubecamemy
world..youbecamet her easonwhyI
breath...
evenaf terev ery thi
ngitsfunnythathere
wear e,stil
lstandingasst rongasev er.
.Il
ove
youLi naandam notgoi ngt opromi seyou
heavenonear t
h. .
am goi ngt omessupbutwhat
Iwon' tlethappeni shur ty ouonpur pose.
.Ilove
yout oomuchf orthat..Il oveyouandIwi ll
continuedoi ngsot i
l
l Idi e...
Iwi
llconti
nueloving
thesamewayIdi dy est erday,t
hesanewayIdo
tomor rowandmanyot herday stocome. .

Every
onedidt hatNchooosound.
.whenhewas
done..
.Ist
artedtobecomescared..
.Ilooked
backatTanyawhosmi l
edatme..Itookadeep
breat
hjusttocalm myself
..

Me:ummh.
.Ireal
lycan'
tbeli
eveIusedt ohat
e
youanddi
sli
keyouont opofthat
..
.IfIhadbeen
askedt
obeGodt hatti
meam sureIwoul dhave
t
hrowny
out
oPl
uto.
.

Every
onechuckl
edi
ncl
udinghi
m..
Iwastr
yingto
shakeof
fmebeingscar
edandbeingt
err
if
ied
bythi
speopl
e..
.
Me: andt odayher ewear e. .
.l
ov eispat ientand
everythingel seandIwanty out or emembert hi
s
whenImessup, wel lthatspar tlybecauseam
humanandam boundt omessupbutpl ease
don'tleav eme. .
.Allmyl ifeIhav enev erf el
tthis
vulnerable..Ihaveal waysbeent heonet osay
Lov eisst upidbutlookt oday ..Thel ovey ou
hav eformemanagedt ochangeme. .Idon' t
thi
nkIcanev ersurvivewi thouty oubecause
eversi ncey oucamei nmyl if
et her e'sbeena
hugedi f
ferenceandf orthef i
rstt imei nmyl ifeI
canv iewt hingsnoti nmyownsel f
ishway s
any mor e,Icanlaughandj ustbemewi thno
pretence...Icanact uall
yl aughf reel yandIcan
smi l
eal lbecauseofy ou..Ilov ey ousomuch. ..
Youar
emyjoy.
..AndIknowwear
egoi
ngt
o
l
astf
orev
er.
.
Pastor: t
hatwasindeedtouching.
..Thethi
ngs
l
ov ecandosomet i
mes..Itssowonder f
ul.
..
Ok..i
fthere'
sanyoneoutt her
ewhot hi
nksand
feel
st hisweddi
ngshoul dnotgoonpl ease
comef orwar
dorforeverholdyourpeace..

Wewai t
edforabout2minut
esandnothi
ng.
.I
tookasighofrel
i
ef.
.Ihadbeeshol
dingmy
breat
h..

Pastor:Inowpr
esentyouashusbandand
wif
e...
youmaykissthebri
de.
.

Hecamecl osertomeandpull
edourbodi
es
toget
her
,remov edmyVai
lfr
om myfaceand
cameclosertome...
..
Hi
m:y
oudon'
thowl
ongIhav
ewai
tedt
odot
his.
.
Hesaidashebr ushedhisli
psonmi nethen
fi
nall
ykissedhard.
.Hishandstrav
eledtomy
l
owerbackandIknewonemor esecondhe
wouldgrabmyboot tysoIpull
edawaywi th
peoplealr
eadyclappi
ngthei
rhands...He
groaned..
.
.
Wewer enowwal kingtoget herhandi nhandas
wewal kedoutoft hepool withpeopl et hrowing
rosepetalsatus..
.Whenwegotout sidet he
gateIthrewthef l
ower s.
..Jor danahcaught
them..
youshoul dhav eseenherf ace. .
.Theday
wentwel l
,wewentt otakesomepi cturest hen
l
aterwentt othevenuewer et her estoft he
peopl
ewer e.
..Wewer ewel comedbyf oodand
Godknowshowhungr yIwas, Ididn'teati nthe
morningbecauseofbei ngner v
ous. .
.Assoon
aswesatdownIdi shedf ormet henst arted
eat
ing.
..Sphaj
ustl
ookedatme

Me:
what
?
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
ewenotpr
egnant
?
Me:Idi
dn'
teati
nthemor
ningandy
esam sur
e
am notpr
egnant
Hi
m:howdoy
ouknow?
Me:
Iwasonper
iod2day
sago.
..
Hi
m:oksowhydi
dn'
tyoueati
nthemor
ning
Me:
Iwasner
vous.
.
Him:ok,
Il
ovey
ouMr
sZwel
ani
..
.Thatsounds
perf
ect.
..
.
Me:
ofcausei
tdoesMrZwel
ani
..

Isai
dleani
ngtoki
sshi
m.Hemetmehal
fway
andwesharedanexci
ti
ngki
ss.
..
Me:
sowher
etof
rom her
e?
Him:t
hehotel,
wher
eam gonnamakemadlove
toyouthentomorr
owwegot oPar
ist
henafter
Pari
swheream goingt
otakeyoui
sasurpr
ise.
.
Me:
am al
readyexci
ted.
.
Hi
m:soam I
..
can'
twej
ustdi
tcht
hispeopl
eand
gotot
hehotel
?
Me:
that
'scr
azy
..
.
Hi
m:am sohor
nyasf
uck.
.
Me:
unf
ort
unat
elyy
ouwi
l
lhav
etohol
dit
..
Hi
m:t
hisi
sunf
air
..
.

Hesul
ked..
.Weatethef
oodwithhim sul
king.
.
Tr
ustmyhusbandtobedramati
c..
..
hewasnow
myhusbandandIwasmor et
hanhappy .
.
Someti
mel at
erIwasdanci
ngwithCrai
g,
movi
ngslowlytot
hebeatofthesong.
..
Hi
m:Mr
sZwel
ani
Me:
yes.
..

Igi
ggl
edaf
tersay
ingt
hat
..

Hi
m:sohowar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
happy
,exci
tedandscar
ed.
.
Hi
m:whyscar
ed?
Me:Idon'
tknowwhatt
omorr
owhol
dsf
orus.
..
I
don'
twannabeadivor
cee
Hi
m:t
hewayy
ouguy
slov
eeachot
herIdoubt
..
.
Me:t
ot hi
nkyouoncedi
sappr
ovedour
r
elat
ionshi
p
Him:
that
'sbecauseIhadn'
treal
i
zehowmuch
youl
ovedhim..
Me:andIreal
l
ydo.
..
Ipr
ayt
hatwegonnabe
f
orever.
.
Him:sodoI
..
asl
ongasy
ouar
ehappyIam
happy.
.
Hi
m:t
hanky
ouf
orbei
ngmybr
other
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouki
d..
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
so?
Hi
m:so?
?
Me:
thewhi
tegi
rly
ouwer
ewi
th.
.whoseshe?
Hi
m:someonespeci
al
Me:
pot
ent
ial
wif
e?
Hi
m:Ipr
ayso.
.
Me:
whendi
dyoust
artdat
ingwhi
tebr
unet
tes?
Hi
m:si
ncel
oveknowsnot
hing.
Me:am happyfory
ou..
.wegonnahav
ewhi
te
babi
esinthefamil
y..
Hi
m: Ican'
twai
tfort
hatpar
tbutwet
aki
ng
t
hingsslowri
ghtnow..
Me:
ok.
.sohav
eyour
ecent
lyseenNat
ali
e?
Hi
m:no.
.andpl
easel
et'
snott
alkabouther
..
Me:
not
ed.
.

IsawSphawal
ki
ngt
owar
dsus.
..

Me:
baei
scomi
ng.
.
Him:
thatni
ggaseemst
ocan'
tst
ayawayf
rom
you.
.
Me:
am beaut
if
uli
ncasey
ouhav
en'
tnot
iced.
..

Helaughedashewal kedawayf r
om me..also
l
eavingmewithasmi le.
.whenSphagott ome
hepull
edmei nhisarms..Andwest ar
ted
movingtoourownbeatas" thousandyears"by
Chr
isti
naPerr
iplayed

"
Hear
tbeat
sfast
Col
orsandpr
omi
ses
Howt
obebr
ave
HowcanIl
ovewhenI
'
m af
rai
d
Tof
all
Butwat
chi
ngy
oust
andal
one
Al
lofmydoubt
Suddenl
ygoesawaysomehow

Onest
epcl
oser

(
Chor
us)

Ihav
edi
edev
eryday
wai
ti
ngf
ory
ou
Dar
li
n'don'
tbeaf
rai
d
Ihav
elov
edy
ouf
ora
Thousandy
ear
s
I
'
lll
ovey
ouf
ora
Thousandmor
e."

Thissongseemedt obepl ayi

ngf orus,Ididn'
t
real
izewehadst oppeddanci ng, itseemsl i
ke
wewer ejustl ockedi nourownwor l
d...
wer e
nothingexi stedot herthanus. .Bei ngwi t
hSpha
hasbeent hehi ghlightofmyl ife, andi twill
continuetobeasl ongasIl ovehi mt hisway .As
l
ongasourl ov ekeepsbei ngst rongandf i
rm
nothingwi l
l gowr ong.Fat ebr oughtust ogether,
l
ov emadeus. ..Not hinghasmor epowermor e
thanlovebecausewear elove,ital lstart
edasa
bump, aspi tofcof feeonmyj acket ,somemean
words,somehat r
edt owar dseachot herand
nowi t'
slov e..
.Asbef ore,
andasIhav esaid,
I
don'tknowwhatt hef uturehol dsf orme, Idon'
t
knowmyt omor rowbutIknowt hatasl ongas
l
ongasam wi tht heper sonIlov et henIcan
neverwishforanythi
ng..
.Ourlovewasstronger
thananythi
ngIhav eeverseen,
everybat
tl
et hat
wast hr
ownatusweal waysmanagedt ost i
ck
toget
herthroughital
l.
..Bei
nginhisarmsf eels
ri
ght,
beingwithhimfeelsri
ght.
..
andIknowwe
aremeanttobe...Ihuggedhimtightl
yasIjust
buri
edmyheadonhi schest..
.

Me:
Il
ovey
ousomuchSpha
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
eLi
naZwel
ani
Me:
thi
sfeel
sri
ght
Hi
m:ofcausei
tdoes,
wear
emear
ntt
obeaf
ter
al
l
..
.
.
.
.
2YEARSLATER
.
.
Me:
Sphawakeup.
..
!!

Hegroanedlooki
ngattheot
herdir
ect
ion.Spha
r
eall
yhatesbeingwokenup.
..
.andsometi
mes
i
tssoirr
it
ati
ng..

Me:
Sphamandl
a!!
Hi
m:can'
tIhavesomepeacei
nthi
shouse.
.I
wannasl
eep!!

Me:
Spha!
!

Ir
oar
ed.
..Hel
ookedatme.
.

Hi
m:babe.
.j
ustaf
ewmi
nut
est
henIwakeup.
.
Me:
that
'swhaty
ousai
d10mi
nut
esago.
.

Wear esupposedt ogor unni

ngi nt
hemor ning,
thedoctorsaidit'
sgoodf ort
hebabyandf ormy
heal
thalso,yesam pregnantinfactam 8
monthspr egnant,onl
yleftaweekst o9
months..Ican'tsaysaythatIfeelt
ir
edinfactI
havemor eener gy.
..
..
Myey eswerenowfil
l
edwit
htear
s,Iwasready
tocry,
someti
mesIjustf
eel
li
kecryi
ngbecause
ofthethi
ngshedoessometi
mes..

Hi
m:okok.
.am awake.
.okl
etmef
reshenup.
.

Hesaidstandi
ng,
Iwasal
readyangr
yIdi
dn'
t
f
eell
ikeitanymor
e..

Me:
Idon'
twannagoany
mor
e..
Hi
m:comeonbabe.
.am awakenow.
.
Me:
I..
I.
..

Ifoundmy sel
finhisarmssobbingsi
lentl
yand
forwhat?Idon'tevenhaveareasonmy sel
f.
Thischangeofhor monessometimesmakes
medocr azythings..
..
.Af
terIhadcal
meddown
hesatmedownbesi deshim..

Hi
m:am sor
ryok,
tomor
rowIwi
l
lbet
heonet
o
wakey
ouup..

Hekissedmyli
psashi
shandwentt
omybut
t.
Qui
cklyIpul
l
edout.
.

Me:
no.
..
.wecan'
t
Hi
m:why
?
Me:
am dueSphai
ncasey
oudon'
tnot
ice.
.
Him:
sowhat?Thebabywant
stomeetSpha
Juni
orher
e..
.

Hedidn'tgi
vemeachancet orespond,hej
ust
devouredmylipsandbef
oreIknowi tIwas
Bendingwit
hmyhandsont heedgeoft hebed
andhim behi
ndmehi t
ti
ngitgood,Iwas
mourningsoloud.
.

"FuckShi tSpha"Ihi
ssedashekeptt hrusti
ng
faster
,Ifeltmymusclest enseashestarted
thrust
ingf astert
hanbefore"God
Spha..
..Yesssssssssss"IscreamedasI
came,har d..Hecamer i
ghtbehindme..
.
.
.
Wewerenowsi
tt
ingdownont
hebed,
j
ust
t
alki
ng.
..
Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
owor
k?
Hi
m:noam st
ayi
ngher
ewi
thy
ou.
.

Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmyf
orehead.
..

Me:
youwor
ryt
oomuchaboutme.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
'dbecauseIl
ovey
ou.
..
andourbaby
..

Wedidn'
tknowthesexoft
hebabybecausewe
want
edittocomeasasurpri
se.
.

Me:andwel
oveyoutoobutt
hisi
sthesecond
weekyouar
emissi
ngwork..
Hi
m:pl
easel
et'
snotf
ight
..
.Il
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo

Ideci
dedt
ojustkeepqui
tebesi
dessomet
imes
i
twasr eall
ynicehavinghi
m ar ound..Butevenif
he'
snotinTany aalwayscomesar ound..Me
andTany awehav ebecomesocl ose.We
confi
deeachot heroneverything..
.Andy esher
andDanielaresti
llanit
em..andt heyare
engagedandwi llbemarri
edi n3mont hsand
am soexcited.
.

Me:
ok,
butam hav
ingl
unchwi
thTany
alat
er
Hi
m:t
hat
'sok.
..

Wehear
daknockont
hedoor
..
.

Me:
thatmustbeJoy
ce.
..

Joycei
sourcleaner.
..
sinceSphadoesn'twant
met oworkJoycecomest ocleanaroundthe
houseanddoallthehousechor esandnotthat
Ican'tdot hem butSphaj ustli
kesbei ngSpha. .
Hest oodup, wor ehisclot
hes,
andwal kedoutof
ourroom.If eltasl i
ghtpainonmyl ower
abdomen. ..Ibr ushedi tof
fbecausei tonl y
l
astedf orsomef ewsecondssoIst ood
up,wor emyf lipf l
opesanddr essthenst art
ed
walkingdownst air
s..AsIwasst i
l
lint hemi ddle
ofthest ai
rst hepai ncamebackst r
ongert han
l
asttimet hatasl i
ghtmournescapedmyl i
psas
Ibrushedmyt ummy .
.AsIwasst i
ll
recov er
ing
fr
om t hatitcameagai nandnowIIcoul dn't
keepi tinIscreamedasmywat erbroke. .
BeforeIknowi tSphawasal readyhol dingme. .

Hi
m:okbabyrememberwhatwewer
etaught
br
eat
h..
takeadeepbr
eath

It
ri
edtakingadeepbr
eat
hbutitj
ustwasn'
t
worki
ngthepai
nwasincr
easi
ng..
.
Me:
ahhhhh!
!
Hi
m:shi
tshi
tshi
t.
..

Her ushedtoourroom andcamewiththebaby

bagt henhepickedmeupt othecar
..I
twas
crazyifyouaskme, wi
thmeScreamingint
he
carandSphadr ivi
ngli
keamaniactothe
hospital
..
.
.
Dr:
am goi
ngt
ocountupt
othr
eet
heny
oupush
ok?
Inodded,wewerenowatt hehospital
,r
eadyt
o
pushmybabyoutwi thSphastandi
ngatthe
doorwithfaci
alexpressi
onli
kehe'stheone
goingtogivebi
rth.

Dr
:123!
!push
Ipushed,Ievenfeltl
ikeIwasgoingt odie..The
painthatconsumedmet hatmoment ..
.Itwas
beyondanypai nIhaveeverendured..We
conti
nuedl i
kethatforgood5mi nutesthen
fi
nall
yIhadacr y,ababy'
scry,
Ial
sol ettearsfall
..
Sphawal keduptomeandhel dmyhand. .He's
eyeswer ered.
..

Hi
m:am sorr
ybaby
..
thi
sist
hel
astbaby
..
the
f
ir
standlast
..

Inoddedthroughmyt earsIwantedtoseemy
baby.
.Aft
eraf ewmi nutestheDoctorbrought
mybabytomeandIhel dherinmyar ms..She
wasagirl
...
.Shelookedsot iny
..

Me:
she'
ssot
iny
..
Hi
m:andhasy
ourski
ntone.
.
Me:
ever
ybabyi
sli
ket
hat
..
Dr
:andhername.
.

Il
ookedatSphawhol
ookedatmewi
tht
he"
tel
l
herl
ook"

Me:hernamei
sAt
hal
i
ah.
..
Athal
i
ahNt
hando
Zwel
ani
Dr
:beaut
if
ulnames.
..
.
Me:
thanks.
.

Ilookedatourdaught eragain,
shewaswhat
thelovebetweenmeandSphapr oduced.
..
She'sapr oductoflov
e. .Thesmil
eSphahadon
ashel ookedatherwast heoneofImadeit.
Shewasourj oy.
..
ourhappyl ov
estorywewill
l
ivetot el
l
...
shewasmi ne,mydaught
erandi,I
wasamom . .
Il
ookedatSpha.
.

Him:thanky
ou.
..Forgi
vingmethebestgi
ft
anyonecoul
dhavenevergiv
enmeifitwasn'
t
you..
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oubey
ond.
..

Andt hisiswhatLov ehasdone,

whatlovehas
brought ,
happinesshasbeenbroughtbylove.
Allmyl if
ebeingTormentedbypaintoday
evermor ehappinesswasdeclar
ed..
.Iletmy
tear
sf allonher,
tear
sofJoy.Sphapulledmy
headonhi schestandthatmomentwas
perfected..
.

Me:
thi
sisper
fect
..
.
Hi
m:per
fect
ionati
tsbest
!!

Noteveryr oadtohappi nessissmoot hand

sweetbutt heresthatmomentwer eyouf eel
l
iketheear thshouldcloseinony ou,
l
ikedy ing,
l
ikenoonei swithyou,ofcauset hatshould
happenbecauseatt heendal lt
hehur t,t
hepai n
wil
lbeov errodebyhappi ness..
..TodayIwi ll
confi
dentlysayam happyandIknowdeep
downIam. .t
hisisthestartofsomet hing
new..
.wit
hme, myhusbandandour
daughter
...
whowoul dhav eeverthoughtt hat
onedayt hiswillbeit
?Thi siswhatLov ehas
done..
..
..

.
.

*
***
***
***
***
*
THEEND!
!!
!