HI

SLOVE

I
NSERT1

Li
l
ian
Thesunshi nesinmyey esshowi ngt he
bri
ght nessoft hedaybuther eIam r unni ng
awayf rom itall,
all
thet roublesheapi ngupi n
myhouse, inmyheadt hedebt sincurred, the
regretst hatnagandbi ckerl i
keacount ry
cit
izens.Justmay be,may beIshoul dn'thav e
all
owedsadnesst oponderbutt hatwasf ar
fetched, theysayIhav ePostNat alDepr essi on
butal lIfeelisloneliness.Itseemst hatIl i
v ein
aqui etpl aceatt heendoft i
mewi t
habl owi ng
universebehi ndme. Iremai nawar eoft hel ong
sufferingoft hi
ngsandt hesimplet rutht hatI
hav ecr umbl eddownt ot hewor l
dofdepr essi on.
Tumi
:Whatgoest
hroughy
ourmi
ndwheny
ou
l
ookt
hrought
hatwi
ndow.
?
Me:
Not
hing
MeetTumi Shal
emyt her
apistt
hatIhavebeen
assi
gnedt obecauseofthesocalledPND, It
urn
andlookatherandl i
keusualIsaynothingnot
becauseIhav enot
hingtosaybutbecauseI
don'
thavet heri
ghtsequenceofexpressingmy
feel
ings.
Tumi:Li
li
anwehavebeendoingt
hisfort
he
pasttwoweeksandal
lyoudoisl
ookatthat
windowandsqueezet
hatst
ressball
.
Me:Youget
ti
ngpai
dfori
tsowhat
'
syour
pr
oblem?
Tumi:Il
i
ketogetpai
dfordoi
ngthejobnotj
ust
tost
areaty
ourbaldheadandface.
Baldhead?Iguessthehandsofdepressi
on
wel comedmeinjoybecauseitwasaweek
aftergiv
ingbi
rt
hthatIshavedmywhol ehead
offmysel f
.
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwantt
oknow?
Tumi :
Ihavetal
kedt
oy ourf
amil
yandthe
persontheytol
dmeaboutisnott
hesame
personinfr
ontofme,Iwoul
dli
ketoknowwhat
changed?
Me:LikeIt
oldev
ery
oneel
seIAM FI
NEanddo
notneedanyhel
p.
Tumi :
Okaylet
'st
alkaboutyourki
ds,whi
chis
therealr
easonwhyyourfamilybr
oughtyou
here.
Me:
Whataboutt
hem?
Tumi:Yourel
desthaslef
tandisnowli
vi
ngi
n
London,
howdidy ouf
eelaboutthat
?
Me:Clai
reearnedtheoppor
tuni
tyt
ogof i
nish
herdegreet
hereandIwashappyforher,Iknow
shewill
aspi
reintosomethi
ngamazing.

Aboutt
hreemont
hsagoCl
air
egota
scholarshi
ptof
ini
shherlawdegreei
nLondon
andlikeanypar
entIwassadbutIhadtolether
makeherownchoi cesandtr
ustmyparental
teachingandgi
veherachancetoexpl
orethe
wor l
donherown.
Tumi
:Thet
wins?
Thet wins?, wel l she'snott alki
ngaboutLebo
andLer atoshe' st alkingaboutMYt wins.When
Mikel eftIwasal readyamont hpr egnantandby
farthatwast hemostdi ff
icultpregnancyIhav e
hadt oendur e,Iwasadmi ttedtot hehospital
twot imesduet ocompl i
cat i
onsofst r
ess.Ihad
thetwi ns3mont hsagoandhonest lyIam not
coping, havingt hreeki dsallundert heageof6
i
semot i
onallyandphy si
callystraini
ng
especial l
yify ouar eony ourown. Tot hi
nkIwas
excitedaboutt hispr egnancybecauseIt hought
fi
nallyIgett ohav ethef atheraroundt ohelpme
throughi tandal sohel pmewi ththechi l
d,i
n
thi
scase" ki
ds"butl i
kebef oreI'm all
alone.Xav i
erSi y
abongaandTi anaNel i
siwe
Khumal oar et henamesoft hetwins,theywere
namedbyt heirgrandmothers.Mari
agav ethem
theEngl ishnamesandwehadanar gument
aboutt hesur namebecauseshewasagai nst
megi v
ingt hem a" Khumalo"asasurname
i
nst eadof" Dimba"butt hewasnowayIwas
goingt ogiv emychi l
drenanameoft heman
whodeci dedt ogoAWOLonev er
yoneand
everything.
Me:
Iwon'tl
ie,
I'
m st
ruggl
i
ngwi
tht
hem butI
'
m
t
hei
rmotherso.
..
Tumi
:St
ruggl
i
ngi
nwhatway
?
Me:Ihavetwoot herki
dsandI'
vecopedvery
wel
lbutwiththesetwoitsl
ikeIdon'
tknow
whatI'
m doi
ng.
Tumi:Li
li
anyouhavehadtwootherkidsin
dif
fer
entti
mesbutnowitsbot
hoft hem atthe
samet i
meandthatcant
akeatollonaper son
andy
ouneedt
oal
l
owot
her
stohel
pyou.
Me: I
'mtheirmotherIshouldbeabletomanage
them butIam f
aili
ngIcan'tconnectwit
hthem
,theyrej
ectedmybr eastmil
kandal l
theydoi
s
cry.
Tumi:Askingforhelpisnotasignoffail
ureand
chi
ldr
enar edif
ferent,chi
ldr
encansenseiftheir
motherisnotemot ionall
yokayandtheystart
showingtheirf
rustrat
ion.
Me:I'
mt ir
ed(cryi
ng)Ihavenothadpropersleep
i
nforever,Ialwayssaychil
drenchoosethei
r
par
entsbuti nthiscasei
tsli
ketheywereforced
onme, Ican'tevenspendanhourwi t
houtthem
bei
ngwr estl
esorcr yi
ng.
Whatkil
lsmemor eishowtheybecomequiet
wit
hotherpeoplebutwi
thmeitsdif
fer
ent
,its
l
ikeI'
m nott
heirmother
.
Tumi:
Youar
eawonder
fulmotherf
rom whatI
hav
ehear
dbuty
ouneedtorel
ax,goawayfora
dayortwoandhavesome"me"timeto
recuper
ateandbef
itt
otakecar
eofthem .
Star
t
withexci
sing.
Thewasashadei nt
hatstat
ementbutIdoget
herpoint
,Idoneedsomeexci senotj
ustto
rel
i
evestressbutbecauseI'
mf atIdon'
tthi
nk
I
'm evenatt
ract
iveanymore.
Me:
But
..
..
..
Tumi :Butnothing,l
ett
hem helpyou.
Nowl et
's
talkabouttheirfat
herbecauseIhaveafeeli
ng
thathe'sthereasonbehindthi
ssadnessinyour
l
ife.
Me:
Idon'
twantt
otal
kabouthi
m.
Ihonestl
ydonotwantt otal
kMi kenotafterhe
j
ustleftandneversaidawor dtomet hereafter
.Thenot ehewrotewhenhel eftwast helast
ti
meIhear dfrom him,
formonthsIwai tedfor
hi
mt ocomeback, Imissedhim unti
lther
ewas
nothi
ngt omissany more.
Icri
edandhear t
brokenthinki ngt hatsomet hinghappenedt o
him ormay behedi edandmychi l
dr enwi ll
never
knowt heirFat herbutnohenev ercameback
andIknowf oraf actthathe' snotdead. Max
oneofhi sguy scameher easki ngf orhim and
whenIt oldhi mt hathewasnoty etbackhewas
shockedandt oldmet hatt herestoft hepack
wasbackandt hatnoonewasdecl areddead, so
hear r
angedf ormet oseeTyandhet ol
dme
thatMikewasokaybuthedeci dedt ost ay
behindforawhi leandt hathewi llsoonf ol
low
butasy oucant ellhenev ercameback. Ihadt o
acceptthehar dt ruththatIwasr aisinghi skids
onmyown, Iguesshi slovef ormewasnot
enought obr inghi m backt omel i
kehesai d
.WhatIst illfailtounder standi swhy?Why
wouldhewal kawayknowi ngv erywel lhow
muchIl oveandneedhi m andi tpainsmet o
seewhatt hatlov ehast ur
nedi nto,Hi sname
alonerevivesangerandhat ewithinmeandi ts
sli
ghtl
yconsumi ngmysoul ,Ihavel osttrackof
howmanyt i
mesIprayedandwishedforhi
s
retur
nbutnothi
nghappenedandIhave
reachedapoi
ntofnotcar
inganymore.
Tumi
:Okay,
Iunder
stand.
Me:
Ihav
etogonow.
Tumi:
Itsal
ri
ght,
I
'm gl
adt
hatwegott
osol
ve
somethi
ngtoday.
Itookmycarkey sanddr ovetoMnqobi'
s
schooltofet
chhim andIfoundhim wi
thhis
fr
iend,herantowar
dst hecarandgoti
n.Ireal
l
y
needtogetmyemot i
onsincheckbecauseI
havenothadt het
imeoft hedayforhi
mt he
twinsbir
th.
Nqobi
:Hel
l
omom.
Me:
Heybaby
,howwasschool
?.
AfterIaskedt
hathej
ustl
ookedatmeshocked
,ohhtrustmeMnqobii
sverygoodi
nfaci
al
expressi
on.
Me:
(conf
used)What
?
Nqobi
:Younev
eraskmet
hat
.
Thatl
i
ter
all
ybrokemyheartandthi
siswhatI
mean,mybabyfeel
snegl
ected.
Me:
I'
m sor
rybaby
.
Nqobi
:I
tsf
inemom ,
canIgot
oDad'
s?
Me:
Why
?
Nqobi
:Nor
eason
Me:Youknowy ouonl
ygot
oy ourdadson
weekendsnotdur
ingt
heweek.
Nqobi
:(mumbl
es)Fi
ne.
Me:
Whydoy
ouwantt
ogosobadl
y?
Nqobi:Becausei
tsmoreni
certher
e,dadand
auntLindipl
aywit
hmeandy ouneverdo,
you
al
way swiththet
wins.
If
eltat
earescapemyeyewhenhesai
dthat
,i
t
i
struet
houghhehasbeenspendi
ngal
otof
ti
mewi t
hVuy oandhi
sgir
lf
ri
endLi
ndiandhe
probabl
yfeel
smoreathomether
ethanwithme.
Me: okayI
'l
ldropyout
her
e,y
ouhav
esomeof
yourclot
hesthere?
Nqobi
:Yes

Iturnedmydi r
ectionanddr ovetoVuy o'splace
i
twasn' tv
eryfarfrom myhouseandt hat
actuallyheplsinthisco-parenti
ngthing. I
droppedhi m offandwentbackt omyhouse
andt hisplacefeelsli
keahel l
holemay bei t
s
ti
meIbuyanewanewhousebutIdonotev en
havet hest r
engtht ol
ookf orhouses. Iwal kedin
andf oundMar i
aandNandi i
ntheloungewi th
thetwi ns,Mariahasbeenr eal
lysuppor ti
ve
towar dsthetwinsbutshe' smaki ngar eally
annoy inghabitofcomi ngtomyhouse
unannounced.
Me:
Aft
ernoon
Nandi
:Heyf
ri
end
Mar
ia:
Makot
i,wet
oldt
henannyt
ogohome.
Isweari
ft hiswomancal l
sme" Makot i
"one
moreti
meIwi l
lstranglehermysel f
,Idonot
wantanythingr emindingmeofMi keandi t
doesn'
thelpt hatthetwi nsespeci
all
ySi yabonga
l
ooksexact l
yl i
kehi m.
Nandi
:Howar
eyou?Howwast
hesessi
on.
?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
Mari
a:Wantt
ohol
dthem(r
efer
ri
ngt
othe
t
wins)
?
Ishakesmyheadnoandheadt othekitchen
andgulpeddownabot t
leofwater.Iheard
Neli
siwecryshe'
sdoesmostoft hecrying( see
whatImean)whenIar r
ivedt
heywer equi etbut
l
ookatt hem nowi
tsli
kemypr esenceupset s
them.Imademywaybackt otheloungeandas
i
fNelisi
wewasnotenoughSi yabongajoined
thecryi
ngchorusandIswearIfeltmyhead
spin,
Itookmycarkeysandranoutwi
thNandi
foll
owingbehi
ndme.ShegrabbedmyhandasI
steppedint
othecar
.
Nandi
:St
op!
!!Li
l
ian.
Me:
What
?
Nandi:
whyarey
oucr
yingnow,
whyar
eyou
r
unningaway
?
Idi
dn'tev
enreali
seIwascryi
ngandsomethi
ng
j
usttookovermeandIcri
edoutmoundand
Nandicomfort
edmei nati
ghthugunt
ilI
cal
meddown.
Nandi
:Li
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Ican'
tdot
hisany
mor
e(sni
ff
s)t
heyhat
e
me.
Nandi
:Whohat
esy
ou?
Me:
Mnqobi
,
thet
winsIj
ustcan'
t.
Nandi
:Thati
snottr
ueandy
ouknowi
t,
yourki
ds
l
oveyouverymuch.
Me: Not heydon't
,Mnqobipref
ersbei
ngwi th
hisfatherthanbeingwithmeandthetwins
resentme, theycryal
lthet
imeinmypr esence.
Iam notf i
ttobeamot her.
Nandi
:Theyj
ustwanty
ourat
tent
ion.
Me:I
'mtr
yingbutI
'mfai
li
ngineveryat
tempt
,I
needsometimealonepl
easecall
mom andtel
l
hert
ocomeov er.
Nandi
:Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
Ijustneedt
obeal
one.
Nandi:Your eal
lyarebeingsel
fi
shr
ightnow
,yourkidsneedy ouandy outel
lmeabout
being"alone"reall
yLil
i
an.?
Iwasnotr eal
lyinthemoodf orherper
fect
l
ectures,Il
eftherstandingthereanddrove
aroundandhonest lyIdon'tknowwhereI'm
goingbutIneedt obeawayf rom ev
ery
thingand
everyone.
.
.
.
Pl
easel
i
keandcommentIbeg.
[
04/
27,
19:
00]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT2
Asingledayawayt urnedintoawhol e
week.Af t
erIlef
tlastweekIcal ledTumi andshe
i
nstant l
yknewwhatt odo,shebookedmei nt
oa
spaandshesai dIsleptforawhol etwoday s
,nowt hatgoest oshowhowt i
redIreall
ywas
.Shet ookmet odomyhai rshesaidIlooked
uglyinbaldsor i
ghtnowIhav eawi gonandI
mustsayi treall
ysuitsmeandmynai lsare
prett
yal lt
hatisnowl eftistolooseallthese
extr
apoundsIhav egai ned.It
hinkthetime
awaywaswhatIr eal
lyneededbecausefort
he
fi
rstti
meImi ssmytwins.Iwaspackingmy
newclotheswhichIboughther
eandIwas
readytoheadbackhome. Tumigotinandsat
down,Iknowshe'smytherapi
stbutshefeel
s
mor el
ikeafr
iend.
Tumi:
I'
mreal
l
yhappywi
tht
hepr
ogr
essy
ou
hav
emade.
Me:
Metoo,
Ithi
nkI'
m nowf
inal
l
yreadyt
obea
mot
hert
omykids.
Tumi:Youwereal
waysr
eady,
youwer
ejust
exhaust
edandyouar
eanamazingmom don'
t
doubtyour
sel
f.
Me:Thankyouandifyoudon'tmi
ndIwoul
dli
ke
t
ocontinuewi
ththesesessi
onsfr
om t
imeto
t
ime.
Tumi
:(l
aughs)I
fI'
m get
ti
ngpai
dthenI
'
mfi
ne.
Me:
(laugh)Chancer
Tumi
:Buty
oudoneedt
otal
kab.
..
.
Ist
oppedwhatIwasdoi
ngandsatdownont
op
oft
hebed.
Me:
Tal
ki
ngaboutMi
kei
spai
nful
forme.
Tumi
:Why
?
Me: I
'
v ealway sbeenabletobouncebackf rom
heart
br eaks,andIreall
ywantt ohatehi
m, I
don'
twantt othi
nkabouthi m andIcert
ainl
ydo
notwantt ohav ememor i
esofhim butit
shard
.Apar tofmewi l
lalwaysbehi sandthesad
real
it
yi sthatheleftandneverlooked
back.(Sighs)
Tumi
:Thatwasabangi
ngsi
gh!
!
Me:Thatwast hef i
rstt
imeIwasact uall
ybeing
honestaboutmyf eeli
ngs,Iguesssayingthe
word"hate"seemsmor eappropr
iat
ef orthi
s
si
tuati
onandt hatisthewordIusedt olietomy
sel
fandt oconvinceotherswithmylie.
Tumi
:Soy
oudon'
that
ehi
m?
Me:
notent
ir
ely,
I
'm angr
y.
Tumi
:Wi
thhi
m?
Me: Both..
..
.I
'm angr
yatmyselffornotbeing
theperfectwomanf orhimtocomebackt o,I
'
m
angryfornottell
inghi
m aboutt
hepregnancy
beforeheleft,
may bethenhewouldhavecome
backforhisbabi esi
fnotforme.
Tumi:
Youcan'tblamey
our
sel
fforanot
her
per
sonsdeci
sions.
Me: WheeewIknow,(l
aughs)Youknowbef or
e
helefthesai
dhewant ed10kidsandbecause
wealreadyhadtwoClair
eandMnqobi wehad8
moret ogo,i
tsapi
tyhecan'tseehisown
addit
ion.
Tumi:Tel
lmeaboutt
her
elat
ionshi
pyouand
hi
m had.
Me:
Wher
edoIst
art
,I
twasper
fect.
Heknew
howtot akecareofme,tookcar
eofmyev er
y
needandl ovedmeforwhoIam
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
.That
'sast
oryforanot
herdayr
ight
nowIneedt oseemykids.
Tumi
:Okay,
I
'm goi
ngt
oleav
e.
Shest andsupandl eav esandIl aydowni nthe
bedlookingatt hecei l
ing,Iguessbei ngreall
y
honestaboutmyf eelingsshockedmet oobutit
doesn'tmat t
erany way .Itakemybagandl ock
theroom andgi veitbackt other ecepti
onand
drovet omyhouse. ItsaFr idaytodaysoIknow
Mnqobi i
ssti
llhere,
Isayashor tpr ayerbefor
e
openingt hedoortoent erandimmedi at
elyI
hearcr yi
ngsounds*t heseki ds*
Imakei tt
otheirnur
seryandbothmymom and
Mike'smom aretryi
ngtocalmthem butnot
thati
tshelpi
ng.Imakemypr esenceknownand
Mar i
aisthefi
rsttospeak.
Mar
ia:
Huuuut
akey
ourchi
l
drent
heyhav
ebeen
l
i
ket
hist
hewhol
eweek.
Shesay shandingmeNel i
siweandIholdher
rockinghersidewaysandaf terafewminut
es
she'squietandissuckingonherhandandIput
herdownandt akeSiy
af rom mom andhe
i
nst ant
lykeepquiet,
Ithinkthisdeser
vesa
glassofwi ne.
Mom:
Ithi
nkt
heymi
ssedt
hei
rmot
her.
Me:
Yout
hink?
Mar
ia:
Theydi
d,y
oul
ookr
efr
eshed?
Me:Iam andthankyoufortaki
ngcar
eoft
hem
,Ir
eal
lyneededthebreak.
Mom:
Nopr
obl
em,
Iwasaboutt
obat
hthem.
Me:
Itsf
ine,
I
'l
ldoi
t.
Theyqui et,
Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
ev ewhatIwas
seeing.Mom andMarial
eftandIj
usttookbot
h
ofthem inmyar msandsatdownintheir
rockingchair
.
"Yout wohavegavemear unni
ngf ormysoul
butIl
ov eyouguyssomuchandt hanky oufor
choosingmet obeyourmother
.Ipromisetobe
abettermothertoyouandyourbrotherandbe
morepat i
ent
."
Great,nowI '
mt alkingtomysel f.
Il ookatbot h
ofthem andt heyar efastasleep,theyl ooksso
muchl i
ket hei
rfat herespecial
lywhent heyare
asleep.Itakethem bot ht otheircribsandki ss
theirforeheads.Nowi tsbabynumber2, Il
eft
thenur seryandl ookedf orMnqobi i
nthe
playroom andhewasnott here,Iwentt ohi s
room andhewassl eeping.Imademywayt o
hisbedandcov eredhim withanext rablanket
andki ssedhi sforehead.
Nqobi
:
(sl
eepy
)Mama!
!!
Me:
Heybaby
,gobackt
oyournap.
Hebr
ushedhiseyeswit
hhi
shandsandopened
hi
seyesandqui
cklyj
umpsatme.OkayIt
hink
I'
m dr
eami
ng,
fi
rstl
ythetwi
nsgiv
emenohustl
e
andnowMnqobi
,somebodywakemeuppl
ease.
Nqobi
:Imi
ssedy
oumama.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
out
oof
ana.
Nqobi
:Di
dyoul
eav
ebecauseIwant
edt
ogot
o
Dad'
s?
Me:No,
mommyneededtogoawaysothatI
canbeabet
termom t
oyouandy
oursi
bli
ngs.
Nqobi:
(Layshisheadi
nmychest
)Youaret
he
bestmotheri
ntheworl
dandIl
oveyou.
Me:
Whendi
dyougett
hissmar
t?
Nqobi
:Si
ncef
orev
er(l
aughs)
Me: Wantmet
osi
ngt
oyousoy
oucanf
ini
sh
yournap?
Nqobi
:Mhhhno,
mom I
'
m amannownotaboy
.
Me:
Youwi
l
lal
way
sbemyf
anas.
Nqobi
:I
'm sl
eepi
ngnow.
Me:
OkaybabyI
'
llbedownst
air
s.
Nqobi:I
'm st
ayi
ngwi
thy
out
hisweekend,
I
'm
notgoi
ngtodad.
Hesaidcoveri
nghimsel
fupagai
nandIjust
chuckl
edandleftcl
osi
nghi
sdoor.
Iwalk
downstai
rstoseemom andMari
awiththei
r
bags.
Me:
Youal
readyl
eav
ing?
Mari
a:Si
siyoumi
ghtnotcar
eaboutadi
ckr
ight
nowbutIdo.
Me:(di
sgust
ed)ewwwst
opr
ightt
her
e,don'
t
cont
inue.
Mom:(
laughs)It
hinkmychil
disbackandyou
mor
ethancapableoftaki
ngcareofyourki
ds.
Mar
ia:
Plusherboy
fri
endi
swai
ti
ngf
orher
.
Me:(shocked)Herwhat
??Mom y
ouhav
ea.
..
.I
can'
tevensayit.
Mar
ia:
Youki
dst
hinkar
etheonl
yonest
hatar
e
supposetohaveagoodt
ime,
nat
hiweneed
somer ej
uvenat
ion.
Me:
TMI,
thanky
ouagai
n.
Mom:BabyIhav
enoboy
fri
end,
she'
sjustbei
ng
cr
azy
.
Thei mageofmymom hav i
ngt hedeed*Ewww*
butIdounder standshehasneeds. Afterthey
l
eftIst artedmaki ngsomedi nnerf ormeand
Nqobi andIf ixedt het winsbot tlest ogetherwi t
h
theirfood,may beI'mf ooli
ngmysel fbutIt hink
I'
m get ti
ngmygr ov ebackandIcannow
balancemyl if
e.Ipasst hrought henur seryand
mybabi esar est i
llsoundasl eep, Imakei ttomy
bedr oom andt akeof fallmycl ot hesandI 'ml ef
t
nakedi nfrontoft hemi rror,
Iser i
ousl yneeda
makeov er.Howdi dImov efrom asexy
,conf i
dentwoment oaf atant isoci alhuman. As
Iwasaboutt ogeti nsidet heshowerIheara
l
oudbangi ngont hedoor *great *Whot hehel l
want st obr eakdownmydoor .Iqui cklywearmy
gownandsl eeper sandmakemywaydown. As
soonasIopent hedoormymout hdropsasI
comef acetof acewithhi m,
helooksso
di
fferenthenowhasabear d.InaninstantI'
mi n
hi
sar msandhe' sspi
nningmear oundsay i
ngall
ki
ndsofwor dsIcoul dn'tunderstandmor eso
couldn'thear,Iwasst unged."Putmedown"
Thosewer etheonl ywor dsIcouldsayandI
couldt ell
bytheyt oneofmyv oiceIwasget ti
ng
angry.HeputmedownandIdon' tknowwhen
andhowmyhandmadei tswayt ohisfacebutI
hadsl appedhi m andhewasj uststandingther
e
notsay ingawor d.
[
04/
27,
19:
00]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT3
Icanfeel
hiseyesonme,I
'm guessi
nghe'
sst
il
l
tr
yingtof
indtheLi
li
anheknewbutthatwoman
wasdestr
oyedandheal sohadaparti
n
that
.I
'v
epract
isehisreturnoverandov
eragai
n
butnowthathe'
sher eIdon'tknowwhatt
o
say,
shoul
dIyellorkeepquiet.
Me:
Lookwhatt
hecatdr
aggedout
.
Isai
dfol
dingmyarmsagainstt
hedoor,
Idon'
t
knowwheream Iget
ti
ngthesli
ckandcheeky
att
it
udef
rom .
Mi
ke:
CanIcomei
n?
Hisvoiceissodeepi tsendsar
chestomy
back,
howi sthatpossibl
e?Ihaven'
tfel
tany
sexualarousali
nforeverandhedoesitwit
hout
aneffort
.
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Mike:Iknowyouprobabl
yhatemebutIneedt
o
expl
aintoyouwhathappened?
Me: Iknowwhathapp.
..
..
.(
thesoundofNel
i
cr
yingont hemoni
tordi
sturbsme)
Il
ookatthemoni
torandhi
sey
esar
efi
xat
edon
mereadytopop.
Me:
excuseme
Il
efthi
m st
il
lstandi
ngatthedoorandwentt o
att
endNeli
,Shewentbacktohersleepand
wentbackdownstai
rsandhewasr athersi
tt
ing
comfor
tabl
eonmycouch.
Me:
Idon'
trememberi
nvi
ti
ngy
oui
n.?
Mi
ke:
AndIseey
oudi
dn'
twast
eti
meei
ther
.?
Me:
Excuseme?
Mike:I
thasnotev
enbeenay
earandy
ou'
ve
al
readymovedon.
Me:
...
..
.
Mike:y
oualreadyhaveakidwi
tht
heguy
,I
guesskagi
sowasr i
ghtabouty
ou.
Me:
(angr
y)Getoutofmyhousenow!
!!
!!
!
Mi
ke:
Why
,Iwantt
oknowaboutt
heguywho
t
ookmypl
ace.
?
Me:FuckyouMi ke,
(shouti
ng)Youdi
sappear
i
ntowhereveryouwer eandyoucomehereand
actasthevi
cti
m?
Mike:Idi
sappear
ed?That
'swhaty
out
old
yoursel
f?
Me:
Whatt
hehel
lwasIsupposet
othi
nk?
Mike:
Youweresupposetowaitf
ormeandnot
gowhori
ngt
ot henextguyav
ail
able(
slapshi
m)
Me: Youhav enor i
ghttoj
udgemeandev enifI
didhav ea"lover
"thathasnothi
ngtodowi t
h
you,
y oulostthatri
ghtwhenyouleftme.Now
getoutbef oreIcal
lthecopsony ouanddon't
thi
nkj ustbecauseyouhaveinfl
uenceyouwon't
bear rest
ed,Ineverwanttoseeyouhereagain.
Mike:Tothi
nkIf
oughtf
ormylif
ebecauseI
wantedtocomebacktoyou.
(walksout
)
Ihearal
oudbangoft
hedoorandIi
nst
ant
lyf
all
onthecouchcr
ying,Idon'
tevenknowwhyI '
m
cry
ing.
Istr
uggl
edf ormonthswithhiski
dsand
hecomesbackandi nsul
tsmelikethat.
Iwent
backupst
air
sandt ookmyshowerandsl ept
.
(
fol
l
owi
ngday
)
Mike'sarri
valyesterdaywasnotexpect edandI
can'tbeli
evethatonhi sfirstdaybackhe
accusesmewhor i
ngar oundnowt hatgoest o
showhowhewi llalway shol dont ot hewor ds
thatKagisosaidbutt hatwi l
l notsetmeback
,mymai npri
orit
yi smyki dsandi fhe' sbackf or
goodt hat'
sforhimi tnol ongerconcer nsme. I
wasi nthekitchenbaki ngwi t
hMnqobi because
that'
swhathewant edt odot odayandbecause
I'
vebeennegl ecti
nghi m Ithinkitsonl yfai
rthatI
spendsomet imewi thhi m,Thet winsar esit
ting
ri
ghtinf r
ontofusi nt heirbabypr ams
Nqobi
:MamaI
'
m donemi
xi
ngher
e.
Me:
Okayputi
tther
eandcomehel
pmeher
e.
Iwatchedashepouredthemi
lki
ntot
hefl
our
andImi xedi
tandIputt
hedoughi
nthe
pans.(
doorknock)
Nqobi
:I
'l
lgeti
t(
runst
owar
dst
hedoor
)
Me:
Mnqobi
yout
ooy
oungt
obe.
..
..
.
"
UncleMike"Ihearhi m scr
eam andheregoes
mygoodmor ning.Iwashmyhandsandt akeoff
myapronandasIt urnaroundIseehi
m holding
Mnqobipl
ay i
ngwi thhim,hecan'
tseethetwins
f
acehe'sfaci
ngt heirbacks.
Mi
ke:
Hi
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Mi
ke:
Canwet
alk?
Me:
Yousai
dal
lyouwant
edt
osayy
est
erday
.
Mi
ke:
Lynn.
.
Me:Mnqobigoi
nthepl
ayr
oom Ineedt
otal
kto
uncl
eMike.
Nqobi
:Okay
Heget
sof
fMi
keandr
unsupst
air
s.
Si
ya:
(babyt
alk)
Imovefrom behi
ndt
hecounterandhov
eri
n
fr
ontofSiy
aandgavehi
m histoy.
Mi
ke:
Youhav
etwi
ns?
Me:
Ibel
i
evei
tlooksl
i
kei
t.
Mike:I'
m sorr
yaboutmybehavi
orlastni
ghtand
whatIsaid.Youwereri
ght,
Idon'
thavetheri
ght
t
oj udgeyou.
Me:
Okayy
oucanl
eav
ethen.
Mike:Ly
nnplease,Idi
dalotofthi
nki
nglast
ni
ghtandIreal
isedthatev
enifwenolonger
haveachancetofixusyoudeserv
etoknowt he
tr
uth.
Me:
I'
m notsur
eI'
mint
erest
edi
nthet
rut
h
Mi
ke:
Idon'
twanty
out
hinki
..
..
.(
Siy
acr
ies)
Me:
Asy
oucanseeIhav
etof
eedmyki
ds.
Itakehisbottl
ef r
om thewar merandholdhi
m
againstmychestandgav ehim hi
sbottl
e.I
noticeMike'
sey eshighl
yfixatedonSi
yaandhe
brusheshisheadandcomest omysideand
l
ooksatNel iandt henheturnshisat
tenti
onon
me.
Mi
ke:
Whoset
hei
rfat
her
?
Me: Mysocal
l
ed"l
over
"thatIappar
ent
lyhav
e
accordi
ngt
oyou.
Hisfaceturnsi
ntoaseriousone,it
sthat"
Idon'
t
havetimeforyournonsense"faceandonce
agai
nIf eel
scaredofhim ortoanswer.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
!
Me:
What
?
Mi
ke:
Iaskedy
ouaquest
ion?
Me:
AndIanswer
edy
ou.
Mi
ke:
I'
m notgoi
ngt
oasky
ouagai
n,whoi
s
t
he.
..
.
Me:
(snaps)
It
syoudammi
t,ar
eyouhappynow?
He'squi
etandhi seyesarest
il
lshal
lowatme
andhescar esmemor ebecauseIdon'tknow
whathisresponsewillbe.
At earr
oll
sdownhi s
ri
ghteyeandhequi ckl
ywipesit.
Mi
ke:
CanIhol
dthem.
Ij
ustnodandpl aceSi y
ai nhisarmsandIt ake
NeliandIputherinhisot herarm.Thet
ears
againnowonbot hey es,Idon'tknowwhatt odo
becauseI'
veneverseent hismanemot ionallet
al
oneshreddingtears.
Mi
ke:
Theyheav
y.
ItakeNeli
from hi
m andt
het
ear
sar
egonenow
he'ssmil
i
ng.
Me:Thati
sSiyabongaXav i
erandshei
s
Nel
isi
weTiana.Yourmothergavet
heEngl
i
sh
namesandmymom t heZulu'
s.
Mi
ke:
Mymom knows?
Me:
Yes,
shehasbeenr
eal
suppor
ti
ve.
Mi
ke:
Howol
dar
ethey
.?
Me:
3mont
hs.
Iputthetwinsbackonthei
rpramsandhe
mov estotheloungewi
ththem andIcheckup
onmybaki ng.Icoul
dhearhimtalki
ngtothem
andIstandnexttothecouch.
Mi
ke:
Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouwer
epr
egnant
?
Me:Wouldi
thav
emadey
oucomeback
sooner
?
Mi
ke:
Probabl
ynotbu.
..
.
Me:Wow,soevenifyouknewIwaspregnant
youwoul
dhavestayedwherev
eryouwere.
Mike:Itdoesn'tmat
ter
,yousai
dyouwerenot
i
nterestedinthetr
uth.
Whathappenedt
oyour
head?
Me:
Lif
e.
Mike:
Ineedt
ogo,
Ihav
esomet
hingt
otakecar
e
of
f.
Me:
Sur
e,y
oual
way
sdoy
ouany
way
.
Hedoesnotr espondtothatandtakeshiskey
s
andki ssesthetwinsandleaves.Heseems
real
lydistr
aughtandnothi snormalar
rogant
assbutIguesst i
mechangespeopl e,
he'
s
probablynotthesameany moreandyouknow
whatIdon' tcare,t
heonlythi
ngthatwil
lbri
ngus
togetheristhekidsnothi
ngmor e.
[
04/
27,
19:
00]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT4
Mi
ke
Iabr
uptl
ywakeupsweati
ngandbreathi
ng
heav
il
y,t
hewholespott
hatI
'
m sl
eepingonis
wet .Iwalkt othebat hroom andsear chf ormy
pil
lst heyhav ebeent heonlyt hi
nghel pingf rom
thesef uckenni ght maresifthat'swhatt hey
called.Ilookatt het i
meandi tsalready5am soI
mightaswel lwakeup. Iwalkdownst airsand
takesomewat eroutoft hef r
idgeandwhenI
openedt hecabi netsIsawapackofr icecr isps
thatusedt obeLi l
li
an'sandt hatsentmeback
tothememor i
eswhenshewoul dspendt i
me
aroundher emaki ngthishouseahome. IwishI
washer ef orherdur i
ngt hepr egnancy ,hellI
want edtobet her eduringthebi r
thandbet he
fi
rstt oseet heirbeaut if
ulfaces.Afterthedead
ofmysony earsagoIhadswor nt hatthenex t
womant ohav emychi ldwoul dbemywi f
e, I
hadev eryintentionstomar ryLil
ianandmake
hermywi febutnowal lchancesoft hatar e
goneIj ustwishIcoul dexplaintohert hati twas
notmychoi cet obeawaybutshedoesn' tseem
i
nter estedandI '
llgi
veherspaceandbeagood
fathert omybabi es.Speakingofbabi esIhav e
notseenthem i
nTwoday s,
Ifell
inlovewit
h
them t
heyaremyev ery
thi
ngandI '
l
l do
ever
ythi
nginmypowert omakesur ethatthey
arewellt
akencareoffandsafe.
Myphoneringsandit
sPromiseandnoshe'
s
notmygirl
fr
iendorsi
deChi
ckshehappenedto
havehel
pedmeal oti
nthepastfewweeks,
ifi
t
wasnotforherIwoul
dhaveprobabl
ydi
ed.
Me:
Aren'
tyousupposet
obesl
eepi
ng?
Promise:
"Iam butIj
ustwant
edt
ocheckupon
you"
Me:
Youdon'
tneedt
obutI
'
mfi
ne.
Promise:"Yourmodest
ythough,
didy
oumake
thi
ngsrightwithLi
l
ian?
"
Me:It
oldy
oui
twasnotgoi
ngt
obeeasybutI
wi
ll
.
Pr
omi
se:
"ButI
'
m sur
eshewi
l
lunder
stand"
Me:
Youcl
ear
lydonotknowher
,shesai
dshe'
s
noti
nter
est
edi
nthet
rut
h.
Promise:"
Youcan'
tfor
cehert
oli
stent
o
you,maybeshehasmovedonwit
hherli
feandif
that'
str
ueyouneedtocomebackandmov eon
withyourl
if
e."
Me:That'
snotanopti
on,besi
desInowneedto
bereal
l
yclosetohersoIcanmakesurethat
sheandmyki dsaresaf
e.
Pr
omi
se:
"ki
ds?
"
Me:Yeahappar
ent
lywhenIl
eftshewas
pr
egnant,
shehadtwi
ns.
Pr
omi
se:
"Andy
oubel
i
eveher
?"
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Promi
se:"Imeanwhydidn'
tshetel
lyouabout
herpr
egnancyifshewasal
readypr
egnant
whenyouleft
?"
Me:
Idi
dn'
taskhert
hat
.
Pr
omi
se:
"any
wayhowar
ethet
remor
sand
ni
ght
mar
es?
"
Me:Thetremorscomeandgo, asf
ort
he
ni
ghtmaresIj
ustwantthem t
oendIcan'
t
dependonpil
lsal
lthet
ime.
Promi
se:
"Youwil
lgett
her
e,st
opacti
ngst
rong
youar
eall
owedt
oshowemot i
ons.
"
Me:Beingstr
ongissometi
meshardbutIdon'
t
haveachoicenooneelsecanev
erknowwhat
happened.
Promi
se:
"YouknowIgoty
ou,
l
etmesl
eepdon'
t
bea
st
ranger.
"
Me:
Alr
ightt
akecar
e.
Idropt
hecall andwalkt
ot hebathroom and
takeaquickshowerandIdr essinmybl uejean
andalongsleev edT-
shi
rtlet'
sjustsayIdon't
wantmybodyt obeseenbecauseIwoul dbe
answeri
ngal otofquest
ions.
AsIwalkdownt hest
air
sthesecur
it
ytel
lsme
thatmyparent
sarecomingthr
oughthe
i
ntercom.
Istandbyt
hedoorwaiti
ngforthem tocome
andmymot hershowsupfi
rstandahotslap
reachesmyfaceandIhol
dmyf aceasshe
hugsme.
Mot
her
:Howcany
oubet
hissel
fi
sh?
Me:Hel
l
oma,
cany
ounotshoutpl
ease.
Dad:Son,
Iwasr
eal
l
ywor
ri
edIt
houghty
ouwer
e
dead?
Me: Iknowit
sjustt
hingst
ookl
ongert
hanIhad
expected.
Mother
:11months?Youcoul
dn'
ttr
ysomet
hing
t
oinfor
m ust
hatyouwereokay?
Me:
May
ouknowIcoul
dn'
t,
didn'
tyoumi
ssme?
Mother
:Idi
dn'
thavet
imetomi ssy
ou,
Li
li
anwas
si
ckthr
oughthewhol
epregnancy,
shewasi
n
anoutofhospitalandshesunkedint
o
depressi
onafterwardssoIwasbusytaki
ngof
yourkidsandtheirmotherIdi
dn'
thaveti
meto
missy ouboy.
Me:
(shocked)What
?
Mot her
:"nywath"Thatpoorgir
lhadtosuffer
alonebecausey ouareself
ish,
theonlyt
hing
youpr i
ori
ti
esisy ourj
ob.
Thi
swasasideofmymom t
hatIdi
dnotl
i
ke
,t
heser
ioussi
de.
Me:
Mot
hert
hati
snotf
air,
Iwasnotpar
a..
..
Mother:
Notfair?Wasitf
airtoLil
ianwhenshe
hadtostayawakeforhourstry
ingt ocal
my our
chi
ldr
en,shewasdepressedshecoul dn'
tbond
wit
hherkidsletal
oneholdthem,shecuther
hai
randgainedalotofweightallbecauseshe
wasnotcopingandyouwer enott her
e.
Dad:
That
'senough!
!!
Mother:AndIhopeyouhavenotsett
hatgi
rl
back,
she'sbeendoi
nggreat
.
Me: MaIhatemyselfthatshewentt
hroughal
l
thatonherownbutifIhadknowIwouldhave
beenherewithher
.
Dad:Wearegl
ady
oubacksont
hat
'
sal
lthat
matt
ers.
Me:
Ma
Mother
: Youmakemerealangr
ysomet
imes
butI
'm alsohappyy
ouback.
Me:Howar
ethi
ngsathomeandhowar
eyou
guy
s?
Mot
her
:Thi
ngsar
efi
ne,
whatwer
eyoudoi
ng
f
or11mont
hs?
Me:Youknowhowitgoesmom,
butI
'
m mor
e
i
nter
est
edinLi
li
an.
Mother
:Let'
sjustsayshehadreachedrock
bot
tom butnowshe'sokayaft
eralotofther
apy
.
Me:
Thi
sismyf
aul
t
Mot
her:
Damnr
ighti
tis.
Mymot heri
sver
ypr otect
iveofLi
li
anandI
underst
andwhy,
andt obehonestIdidnot
ice
thechangesi
nLil
ianbutshe'ssti
l
lbeaut
if
uland
sexyinmyeyes.
Dad:
Yourbr
otheri
scomi
ngback.
Me:
Mybr
otherwho?
Mot
her
:Whi
chot
herbr
otherdoy
ouhav
e?
Me:
Ohhy
ourson.
Dad:Don'
tyout
hinki
tst
imey
oubot
hmade
peace?
Me:Him andIarepeacef
uljustf
ine,
hest
ays
outofmylif
ethenI'
m cool.
Mother
:Umunt
uuyot
eafebantabakhebel
wa(I
wi
ll
diewit
hyoutwost
il
lfi
ght
ing).
Me:
I'
m notf
ight
ingwi
thany
one,
Idon'
twant
hi
minmyspaceanddef
ini
tel
ynotar
oundmy
ki
ds.
Dad:
Sohav
eyouseent
hegr
andchi
l
dren?
Me:
Yes,
theyar
esobeaut
if
ul.
Mot
her
:Whatdi
dLi
l
iansay
?
Me:NotmuchbutwhatIknowist
hatshe'
s
t
hroughwithmeandIdon'
tbl
ameherandI'
ll
r
espectherdeci
sion.
Mother:
Shemi ghtsayshei
sbutwheny ou
havechi
ldr
enwi t
hsomeoney ouneverthrough
wit
hthatperson,
youti
edtogetherf
orli
fe.
Me:Iknowshei
s,
hat
eisal
lIseewhenIl
ookat
her
.
Dad:
Hat
eisabi
gwor
dson,
she'
sjustangr
y..
Honest
lythere'
snot
hingIwoul
dlovethantobe
i
nLil
li
an'
sar msandjustbewit
hherbutIneed
t
orespectherspaceanddeci
sions.
Wewer
est
il
ltal
ki
ngwhenmymot
her
sphone
rangandsheanswer edandwhenshe
screamedoutloudwebot hlookedatherand
shedroppedthephonelett
ingitfal
ldownas
tearsf
ell
from herey
es.
Me:
Mawhat
'swr
ong?What
'
sgoi
ngon?
Mot
her:
Lil
i
anneedsy
ou.
Me:
why
?Whathappened?
Mot
her
:Justgo.
..
[
04/
27,
19:
00]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT5
Iparkmycarinherdri
vewayandIseeal otof
carsinheryar
dandoutside*what'
sgoi
ngon*I
makemywayt othegateandIseeherbrother
Sizwecomingouthelooksr at
hersadf
oran
al
way scheerf
ulper
son.Sizwe:Whatdoyou
want?
Me:
Icamet
ocheckuponLi
l
ian.
Si
zwe:
Whatf
or?
Me:Irespecty
ouasherbr
otherbutIdonot
expl
ainmyselftoy
ouoranybodyelsefort
hat
matt
er.
Sizwe:
Youhur
tmysist
erandy
oucomeher
e
andtel
lmebul
lshi
t.
Me:"bul
l
shit"i
swhat
'sgoi
ngt
ohappeni
fyou
don'
tmov eoutofmyway.
Hel ooksatmeandshakeshi sheadwhi l
eI
makemywayt ot hedoorandIwal kintosee
quit
eanumberofpeopl esit
ti
ngont helounge
wear ingscarf
saroundtheirshoulder
sandt hat
onlymeansDeat h.Mymi ndracestot hekids
butt hosethoughtsarequickl
ywi t
hdrawnwhen
IseeMnqobi sit
ti
ngbyt hefir
eplaceandNandi
approachingwi t
honeoft hetwinsinherar m.
Nandi
:Idon'
tl
ikeyouri
ghtnowbuty
out
heonl
y
per
sonshewillopenupto.
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Nandi
:MaGr
acei
sgone.
Me:Gonewher
e?
Nandi
:Shewasinv
olv
edi
nacaracci
dentand
shedi
edonthespot.
TheysayI'mtheperfectpersontohel
pher
thr
oughthisbutIdon'tevenknowhowt o
comforther,
whatdoIsayt oher?Knowi ng
howmuchhermot hermeantt oher,
doIsay"it
s
goingtobeAlri
ght"ordoIsaywhatt heworld
beli
evestobemor esympat het
icint
his
sit
uati
on"It
sGod'splan".
Me:
Wher
eisshe?
Nandi:
Shehaslockedhersel
finherroom andI
wantedtot
alkt
oy ouaboutthetwins.
Me:
Whataboutt
hem?
Nandi
:Theyaretooy
oungandfr
agi
leandthey
'l
l
bealotofpeopl
ecomingi
nandoutofher
eand
chi
ldr
encatchontodif
fer
entspi
ri
tseasi
l
yand
canbeaff
ectedbythat
.
Me:
I'
mlost
Nandi:
WhatI'
mtryi
ngtosayis,
Ithi
nkthetwi
ns
shoul
dstayi
nyourhouseti
l
lthef
uneral,
your
mothercant
akecareoft
hem andI'
l
lalsohel
p
out.
Me:
I'
ll
tal
ktoher
.
Imakemywayupst ai
rstoherr
oom andIstood
ther
enotsay i
ngawordjustthi
nki
ngofwhatto
saytoher.Iknockonthedoorbutshedoesn'
t
answer.
Me:
Lynnopenup.
Shest i
l
ldoesn'
tanswer,Iknowshe'
spr obabl
y
shatter
edri
ghtnowandneedsal lt
hesuppor t
shecangetalthoughI'
m notsureI
'mther i
ght
personfori
tconsider
ingthatI
'
m sti
ll
fighti
ng
myowndemons.
Me:Iwon'
tsayany
thi
ngIj
ustwantt
oseei
fyou
okay
.Openup?
I'
vebeendoingthisf
orawhilenowandI'
ve
tr
iedevery
thi
ngpossiblet
ogethert
oopenbut
nothi
ngandI '
m nowleavi
ngshewil
lcomeout
whenshe'sreadytotal
k.AsIwasaboutt
owalk
Ihearhertal
k.
Li
l
y:Don'
tgo.
.
Itur
nbackandl ookatherandshel ooksa
mess,hercheeksar er edandhert hrobbi ng
eyesarereadyt opopout. Shelooksdr ai
ned
andIinstantl
ypull herintoahugandshe
begi
nst ocryt i
ghteningt hehug. Icarryhert o
thebedIdon' tknowwhet hershe'sheav yorits
mewho' sweakbutIputherdownont hebed
andbeginst osli
ght l
yhi tmychestcr yingt hat
shewant shermot herback, Damm t hese
punchesar ereall
ypai nful butIendur ethem
andholdbot hherhandsandbr oughthercl ose
tomychestandshecont inuedt ocryf orawhi le
andri
ghtnowshe'smor
ecalm.
Iopentheot
her
si
deofthecover
sandputheri
nsi
deand
cover
edher.
Li
l
y:Don'
tgopl
ease?
.
Me:
Iwasnotpl
anni
ngt
o.
Iwasr eall
ynotpl anni
ngtostaybutIr
eal
lycan'
t
l
eav eherlikethi
s. It
akeoffmyshoesandgot
i
nt hecov erswithherandshequickl
ysnuggl
es
i
ntomel ayingherheadonmychestandshe
continuedt ocry
.
Me:
Shhi
tgoi
ngt
obeAl
ri
ght
Lil
y:Shewasjusther
e,l
aughingnowshe'
sgone
(cr
ies)Iwi
l
lneverseeheragain.
Me:Whatmatt
ersi
sthatsheknewhowmuch
youl
ovedandappr
eci
atedher.
Lil
y:I
'
mt i
red,I'
mt i
redofloosi
ngeverygood
thi
nginmyl i
fe.Il
ostmy
pri
de,
joy
,hope,confi
dence,spi
ri
t,
youandnow
mymot her,
don'
tIdeser
vesomehappi
nessl
i
ke
anyot
hernormalhumanbeing.
Me: Babyy ouhav enotlostme,I'
m stil
lhereand
yourmot herwillalwaysbeherefor,itmightnot
bephy si
callybutspiri
tual
lyshe'
srightherewith
you.
Li
l
y:Ist
il
lneedher
.
Me: Shehastaughty ouever
ythingyouneeded
toknowinordert otackl
eeverysituat
ion.
She
wouldn'
thaveleftifsheknewy ouweren't
str
ongenough.
Li
ly
:Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngher
e,y
oudi
dn'
thav
eto
but
..
Me:Iwoul
dn'
tbeany
wher
eel
se,
youneedme
andI'
l
lbeher
e.
Li
l
y:Idon'
tthi
nkIhav
ethest
rengt
htocont
inue.
Me:Youhav
etoo,
Thechi
l
drenneedy
ou,
Ineed
you.
Ireall
ydi dn'
twantt otalkaboutmer ightnow
butIthinksheneedst oknowt hatIalsoneed
her,wecont inuedtost ayinthesameposi ti
on
andIcoul dnowt el
lthatshewassl eeping.I
sl
owl yremov edmysel ffr
om underherandl ai
d
heront hepi ll
owandki ssedherforeheadand
perkedherl ipsandDAMNsomet hi
ngsnev er
change, theystil
lsoftasusual.Igotupand
wor emyshoesandheadeddownst airsand
Mnqobi camer unningtomeandIpi ckedhim
up.
Me:
Heybuddy
?
Nqobi
:Lumesay
sgr
annywentt
oheav
en?
.
Me:
Shedi
d.
Nqobi
:CanIv
isi
theri
nheav
en,
isheav
enani
ce
pl
ace?
Me:Onedayyouwil
lvi
sitherbutnotnow,
heav
enisver
yniceandpeaceful
.
Nqobi
:Wher
e'smommy
?Shewascr
ying.
Me:Shewasj
ustsadt
hatshewon'
tbeseei
ng
gr
annyany
more.
Nqobi
:Okay
,I
'l
lgopl
aywi
thTshepo.
Iputhim backdownandwat chedashemade
hi
swayt oTshepo, If
indithardtobel i
evethat
hedoesn' tknowwhathappenswhenaper son
di
esconsi deringhowheknowsev er
y t
hing.I
l
ookar oundt hehouseandi tsmor equiet,i
ts
onlythefami l
yandIseemydadsi tt
ingwi t
hthe
brother
s.Imakemywayt ot hekitchenandIf i
nd
mymot herandNandi cooking.
Mot
her
:Howi
sshe?
.
Me:
Shewi
l
lbef
ine,
canIgetsomef
oodf
orher
?
Nandi
:I'
l
lpr
epar
eit.
Mother
:Whatdi
dshesayaboutt
hesuggest
ion
Nandimade?
Me:
Ihav
en'
ttal
kedt
oherabouti
t.
Thembawal
kedi
naswewer
etal
ki
ng.
Themba:Canyouaskherwhatwemustdo
aboutmom'ssi
deofthefami
ly.
Me:
Why
?
Themba:
Ther
e'snogoodr
elat
ionshi
pther
e.
Me:Wet al
kingaboutdeat
hhere,nomat t
er
whathappenedtheydeser
v et
obet ol
dabout
thei
rsi
ster,
l
etthem makethechoiceofnot
comingthemselves.
Mother
:Ifonl
yyoucoul
dappl
ythatwi
thy
our
br
other
.
Me:
Notnowpl
ease.
Themba:Theyal
waysoutcast
edLil
i
ansoI'm
notsur
eifshewoul
dwantthem i
nherhouse.
Me:
OkayI
'
llask.
Nandi
:Her
eist
hef
ood.
Itookt
hetrayandheadedbackupst
air
sandI
foundLi
li
ansit
ti
ngont hebed.
Me:
Youhav
etoeat
.
Li
l
y:I
'
m nothungr
y.
Me: Ly
nn,youhaveal
ongweekaheady
ouneed
al
lthestr
ength.
Li
l
y:I
'
m notachi
l
d,whenI
'
m hungr
yI'
l
leatso
st
opfussi
ng.
Me:
Ohhokay
Li
l
y:Youcanl
eav
enow,
Iwantt
oshower
.
Me:
Iwant
edt
otal
ktoy
ouaboutt
het
wins?
Li
l
y:Whataboutt
hem?
Me:
Wewer ethi
nki
ngthatt
heyshoul
dst
aywi
th
meunt
ilt
hefuner
al.
Li
l
y:Whosewe?
Me:
Ever
yone
Li
ly
: I
tsagoodthi
ngnotev
eryonei
sthei
r
motherIam andmyki
dsarenotgoi
ng
anywhere.
Me:
ButLi
l
ian.
..
Lil
y:Butnothi
ng,
youhavebeenafatherf
oronly
twoday sandyoucomeher eandt
ellmewhat '
s
bestforMYkids,what
'snext?Youchanging
thei
rlastname.?
Me:
Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
oraf
ight
?
Li
ly
:Li
keIsai
d,
thanky
ouf
orcomi
ng.
Youcan
gonow.
IgetthatI
'm supposetosympathi
sewithher
butshe'sawfull
yrudeandIknowIhav e
wrongedandbet ray
edherbutIwill
nottol
erat
e
thi
s.Iputt
het r
aydownandl ef
therther
eand
headeddownst ai
rs,whenshe'
sreadyshewill
comeout .
Me:
I'
mleav
ing.
Sizwe:
Asusual
l
y,y
oul
eav
ewhensheneeds
youmost.
Nandi
:Thet
wins?
Me:Theystayi
ng,
she'
stheonl
yonewhocan
makedecisi
onssoshehasmadeher
s.
Mot
her
:But
..
Me:Butnothing,
she'smadeuphermi
ndandwe
al
lshall
respecti
t.Youwil
lcal
lmewhenI
'
m
needed.
Isai
dasIwalkedout,
Il
oveLil
ianIr
eall
ydobut
ri
ghtnowIalsohavemyowndemonsI 'm
deal
ingwi
thandherbeingsoursweetatthe
sametimeI'
m notsur
eIcandealwiththat.
[
04/
27,
19:
00]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT6
Li
l
ian
Thedeathofmymom cameasashockt ome
andIfel
tapartofmesi
nking,
wehavenot
al
waysagreedonever
ythi
ngbutshewasmy
placeofsani tyandr eal i
t y
.Nothav ingheri nmy
l
ifewi l
ldef initel
yleav eagapi nmyhear tandi n
myf ami ly,speakingoff ami l
yMyAunt scame
twoday sagoandt heyhav ebeent ryingt heir
besttogetonmyner v es, t
hesebi t
chesdon' t
j
udget heydeser v
ei t
.Mymot herhasnotev en
beenbur i
edy etbutt heyal readymaki ng
demandsandcl aimi ngmymot hershouse
whichbyt hewayi si nmynamebutIwi l
l deal
withthem l ater.I'
m st andi ngi nfrontofmy
mi r
ror,I'
vebeendr eadi ngt hi
sdaybuti ts
here,mymot her '
scasketwi l
lbeher einanhour
butIdon' tthinkIhav et hest rengtht oseeher
l
y i
ngt herel i
feless. Ihav eonmybl acksl eev ed
dresst hatisbel owmykneeswi t
hbl ack
stockingsandmybl ackpl ums, Iam r eall
ynoti n
themoodf orheel s,Iwasi naheadwr apsono
ti
mef orwi gs. Clai
rewal ksi nmyr oom wi th
Mnqobi andt heyar ebot hf ormallydr essed, he
comesandhugsmewel lmor eli
kemyt hi gh
becausehe' sshor t.
Me:
Heybabi
es
Nqobi
:Mom l
ookatmeIl
ookl
i
keaman.
Me:
(l
aughs)Yousur
edo
Cl
air
e:Ar
eyour
eady
?
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nkI
'
llev
erbebutIhav
enochoi
ce.
Cl
air
e:MaMar i
aisdownst
air
sbutshedi
dn'
t
br
ingthet
wins.
Iwashonestlyhopingshewoul dsayMi kewas
al
soher ebutIguesshedeci dednottocome,I
haven'
tseenhim sincethatdayhecameher e
andIlosti
twithhim. Idi
dthinkaboutwhathe
said,
andItoldhismom t otakethetwinsand
eventhenhedidn'tcomeorcal lme.
Me:Ohhokay,
Imi
ssmybabi
es.
Aft
ert
he
f
uneral
I'
m goi
ngt
otaket
hem.
Cl
air
e:Postponet
hat
,peopl
ewi
l
lwantt
ohav
e
anaft
ertears.
Me:
Iwi
l
lnotbepar
toft
hat
,I
'
m goi
ngbackt
o
myhouse.
Cl
air
e:Ihav
en'
tseenuncl
emi
kesi
nceIar
ri
ved?
Me:Idon'
tknowwhereheis,
buthedidcomeon
thedaymom diedandIki
ndofpushedhim out
sohenevercameback.
Cl
air
e:Thatmakesy
ousadnehh?
Me:Ali
tt
le,
Ididn'
tmeant
osnapathi
m anda
par
tofmewi shedhewoul
dbehere.
Cl
air
e:Youst
il
ll
ovehi
m don'
tyou?
Me:Nobutcoul
dn'
theputourdi
ff
erenceasi
de
andbesuppor
ti
ve.
Clai
re:
Youdon'thuhh?Letgot
heservi
cei
s
abouttost
artandy ouar
eonthef
irstr
ow.
Ilookedmyselfi
nthemirr
oronemoreti
meand
saidashortpr
ayer,
thi
sisi
tI'
m say
inggoodby
e
tomymot her.
Nqobi
:Mamacany
oucar
ryme?
.
Me:
Ini
(What
)?Ugugeunj
e(y
out
oool
d)?
Nqobi
:Butt
het
winsar
enother
esoIgett
obe
t
hebaby.
Cl
air
e:(
laughs)Wayt
ogobr
other
.
Nqobi
:Youknowmos
Me:
Thi
sisabuseonl
evel
10
Ipi
ckhi m upandhei mmediatel
yputshishead
onmyneck, tal
kaboutbei
ngababy. Wewal k
i
nsidethet entandit
salr
eadypackedIbetifit
wasmyf uneralonl
ytenpeoplewouldbehere
butmymot herwasapeople'spersonsoI'
m not
surpr
ised.
Iwal ki
nandmakemywayt omyseatand
everyoneislooki
ngatmecl osel
yli
keI'
m
supposet odosomet hingandpi t
yisallIseei
n
theireyes.
Ihaven'tseenthecasketbutitl
ooks
reall
ybeauti
fulcoveredwithherfavour
it
e
blanketandont opofitthere'
sabunchof
fl
owerandabi gfr
amewi t
hapi ct
ureofher,me
andImybr other '
sshespeci fi
call
yaskedf or
thatpict
uret obepl acedont opofhercasket
whenshedi es, Idon'
tthi
nksheknewhowsoon
thatwill
be. Il
ookatmybr ot hersandtheylook
okaybutIknowSi zweistheonemosthur ti
ng
,hewasamama' sboyev eni fhewoul dnever
admitit.
Mi ke'
spar entsandJessi caareher ebut
noMi keIdon' tknowwhybutt hatbroughtmore
sadnesst omyhear t,
Iwant edhi mtoholdmy
handint hi
ssi tuati
onbutIguesshi sbrui
sed
egoismuchmor eimportantt hansupporti
ng
thewomanhesay shelov es.
(
5hour
slat
er)
Theser vicewasgoodandCl air
espokeso
respectivelyandamazingabouther
grandmot herandsomeofherfri
endsalsohad
goodt hingst osaynotsaymymom hadbad
tacti
csbutweal l
knowpeoplenevert
alkbad
aboutt hedead. Thel
ooksI'
vebeengetti
ngfr
om
peoplear est ar
ti
ngtoannoyme,theyar
e
expectingmet ocryorsomet hi
ngbutIdi d
enoughcr yingtolastmeal if
et i
me,Iaccepted
whathappenedandcr yi
ngabouti twon'tbri
ng
mom back. Peoplehavestartedleavingitnow
onlyfami l
yandcl osefri
endsandofcausemy
annoy i
ngaunt s.Wewer ealli
nthel i
vi
ngr oom
andsomewer edrinki
ngalcoholtalkabout
disrespectbutIknowbet tersoI'
m keepi ngmy
opinionstomysel f
.
Nandi
:Hecamet
otheFuner
al.
Idon'
tknowwhyI'm aski
ngbutIalr
eadyknew
whoshewasr ef
erri
ngto,Nandi
hasbeenat r
ue
fr
iendsi
nceIcanrememberandherbeinghere
duri
ngthi
sti
memeanssomucht ome.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tseehi
m.
Nandi
:Hewasatt
heback
Me:
Andhecouldn'
tcomeandsay"
Hibi
tch"i
f
t
hat
'showheseesme.?
Nandi
:I'
m notget
ti
ngi
nvol
vedbet
weeny
out
wo.
Me:Hisnamejustanger
smemor e,i
nfactI
don'
twanttot
alknorhearabouthim.
Nandi
:Ifyousayso,
Idon'tknowhowy ougoi
ng
t
odot hatbecauseyouhavet of
etchthekids
f
rom hisplacei
nthemorning,hi
sparentsare
f
lyi
ngbackt oSwazi
landtonight
.
Me:
(annoy
ed)Mxm gr
eat
,f
uckenamazi
ng.
?
??:
Nowl
et'
stal
kaboutmysi
ster
'shouse.
Arggnotthisagai
n,Ial
readyknewwhoi twas
.MyauntThel malet'
sjustsayshehasnever
l
ikedmeandsomet imesIwi shIcanstr
angl
e
hertodeathbutthat'
swishfullt
hinki
ng.
Me:
Iknewt
hat
'swhyy
oucameher
e.
Si
zwe:
Lil
yleav
eit
.
Thel
ma: Li
stentohi
m,andst
opbei
ng
di
srespect
ful.
AuntZol
i
:Thi
sisoursi
sterhousesonowi
t'
s
our
s.
Themba:Li
kehell
iti
s,y
oudon'
tdeser
ve
anyt
hingf
rom mymother.
Youonl
yknewher
whenshedied.
?
Me:
Canev
ery
bodyexcuseus?
Thosewhower
enotfami
lyst
oodupandwent
outsi
det
othet
ent
,i
twasnowonlyt
heaunt
s
andmybrot
her
s.
Me:
Let
'sgetonethi
ngclear
,t
hishousebel
ongs
t
omeandy ounotget
ti
ngapi eceofi
t.
Zol
i
:Wenal
ear
ntoshutup
Sizwe:Younotgoi
ngtospeakt
oherl
i
ke
that.
WhatdidLi
li
anev
erdot oy
ou?
Thelma: Shethi
nksshe'
sbett
erthanever
yone
yetshe'swhori
ngaroundandhavingki
dswit
h
dif
ferentfat
hersnowonderyourmarri
age
fai
led..
Me:(
laughs)Ireal
l
ydonothavetimefor
t
his,
nowpl easedomeafavour.Youcameher
e
fort hefuneralnowi tsov eryoucangetoutof
her ebecausey ouarebot hnotget ti
ngacent
from mymot hersthings.AndOhhImaybea
whor ebutI'
mf arbetterthanthoseusel ess
thingsy oucal lchi
ldren,mymot herdiedliv
ing
thegoodf rom mywhor i
ngandy outwot hose
shacky ouliv
ei nwi l
lswal l
owy oubecauseI
doubty ourdrunkardscanbur r
yy ou.Youknow
thedoor.
Disrespecti
nganel derisnotmyi deaoff unbut
theset wodeserv eitandIdon' tcar eifthey
i
nsul torbadmout hmei twouldn'tbet hefi
rst
ti
me. Itakemyphoneandheadupst ai
rsandI
couldheart hei
rcut ti
ngwor dst owar dsmebut
theycoul dgotohel lforallIcare.Iopenmy
room t ogetinbutIdeci det ogot omymot hers
room andi tsti
l
lhasherscent, itsempt ybutin
myey esIcanstillseeev erythi
ngt hatusedt o
beher eincludi
ngherl eaningov erher
headboar dreadingabookwhi chshewoul d
l
aternarr
atetomeov erthephone,Iusedtobe
annoyedbyitbutnowI 'm goi
ngt omi sst
hose
phonenarrat
ions.
Icloset hedoorandhead
backtomyr oom andt helastthingIremember
i
sthrowingmysel font hebedt henitwasli
ght
s
outforme.
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
-
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
It
s9am andI '
m alreadydonecleaningt he
house, Iwokeupi nt heear
lyhoursoft he
mor ni
ngIcoul dn'tsl
eepsoImademysel f
usefulbuycleaningt hehouse.
Ihearcheer ful
noisescomi ngf r
om downst ai
rsandIcoul dtel
l
everyonewasawakeandIsweari fthose
bit
chesIhav ef orauntsaresti
llhereI '
m kicki
ng
them out.Isi
ghi nreli
evewhenIseej ustmy
brothersandki dscomi ngdownstairsdr essed
i
nchi l
ledclothes.
Si
zwe:
Ehhhandt
henwhocl
eanedher
e?
Me:
Mor
ningt
oyout
oo,
Idi
d.
Themba:
You?
Me:
Whydoesev
ery
onet
hinkI
'
m somesnob?
Al
l
:Becausey
ouar
e!!
Me: Mxm t
hat
'snott
rue,
anyway
ssinceI'
ma
snobyoucanmakey ourownbr
eakfastI
'
m
goingtot
akethetwi
ns.
Nqobi
:Pl
easedon'
t!
!
Me:
Andwhynot
?
Nqobi
:BecauseIenj
oybei
ngt
heonl
ybaby
.
Jeal
ousyst
ri
kenumber1,
Ipi
ckhi
m upandput
hi
m onthecount
er.
Me:Butmommyhast
ofet
cht
het
wins,
and
guesswhat
?
Nqobi
:What
?
Me:Mommyhasf
ourki
dsbuty
ouar
emy
f
avour
it
e.
Cl
air
egiv
esmeadeadst
areandmybr
other
s
ar
ebothamused.
Nqobi
:Youl
ovememor
e?
Me:Mor
ethananyt
hingint
heworl
d,nowletme
goandy
ouwill
stayherewi
thCl
air
eokay.
Nqobi
:OkayIl
ovey
oumama
Me:
Mey
ouf
ana.
Talkaboutbei ngspoi lt,
IguessIhav etoget
usedtoi tbecauseI 'm sti
l
l goingtoexper i
ence
thi
swi t
ht het wins.Itakemycarkey sanddr ove
toMike'spl aceandmyhear tisbeat i
ngr eally
fast,
Ihav en'tbeenher esincef oreverandapar t
ofmei snotl ookingf orwardtoseei ngMi ke
every
thingi sjustawkwar dbet weenus. Ipr ess
myf i
ngeront hegat eandi topensupIguesshe
hasnotchangedhi ssecuritysettings.Idr i
vein
andparkmycari nandheadt ot hedoorandi t
s
alr
eadyopenIguessheal readyknowsI '
m
here.
Icont empl at
eoncomi nginbutt here'sno
retur
ningbacknow, Idon' tr
eal
lyunder stand
whati sgoi
ngonwhyi smyhear tbetray i
ngmeI
meanIshoul dbeangr yandhat ehimr ightnow
butallIwantistobei nhi sarms, andy ouknow
whatIf i
ndfunny?Af tergivi
ngbirthIhav enot
hadanysexual desiresbutev ersinceher et
urnI
feell
ikeIhaveani tcht hatneedst obe
stret
chedandi fi
tcont inuesli
ket hi
sImi ght
needt obuymysel fsomev ibr
ations.
Iopent
hedoorwait
ingt
oseehi
m butwit
hluck
i
nmysideIseeMaMar t
haandshe'
sall
smiles
andIsi
ghi
nreli
eve.
Martha:
(huggi
ng)Ohhmychi
l
dI'
m sor
ryabout
yourmother.
Me:
Hima,
thanky
ou.
Mart
ha:(
let
ti
nggo)Mzi
wonketol
dmey
ouwer
e
goi
ngtocomegetthet
wins.
Thatnamest
il
lsendschi
l
lst
omybody.
Me:
Yes,
i
shear
ound?
Martha:
Heisinhi
sroom.All
thei
rthi
ngsar
e
packedandi
nthei
rnurser
y.
Me:
(shocked)Nur
ser
y??
Mar
tha:Yesit
sri
ghtnexttohisroom,heis
r
eal
l
yhappyaboutbeingadadi nfactIthi
nki
ts
t
heonlythi
nghesmil
est othesedays.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
IsaidIwasnotgoi
ngtodothis,
buther
eIam
beingal
lconcer
nedabouthi
m.
Martha:Eversi
ncehehasr et
urnedhehasn't
beenhimselfatfi
rstIt
houghtitwasbecause
hemi ssesyoubutther
eseemst obemor etoit
.
Me:
Hewi
l
lbounceback.
Mar
tha:
ify
ousayso.
Iwalkupstai
rst
owardst
henurserybutmy
heartpushesmetohisr
oom andI'
m now
standi
ngnexttohi
sdoorandit
sopenbuthe's
notintheroom.AsIwasabouttowalkbackhe
comesoutf rom thebat hroom , wear
ingashor t
andhasnoshi r
ton,hel ot
ionshi sarmsandhi s
backf acesmeandmyey espopoutwi t
hshock
andmyhear tbr eaksandIf eeladropoft ear
escapemyey ebutIdon' tcar eaboutthatwhat
scaresmei swhatI 'm seeingi nfr
ontofme
."Mike!!!
"Icallouthisnameandhej umps
si
gnallingthathehear dmebutdoesn' tshift,
he
i
sst i
ll
.Whati sgoi ngonher e?
[
04/
27,
19:
01]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT7
Iwalkslowlytowar dshim andhest i
ll
hasn'
t
mov ed.I
'
m nowbehi ndhim andthisscar
sthat
arealloverhi
sbackl ookmor efr
eshandpainf
ul
.Somear ecutst hatrevealhi
swhi t
eskin
ti
ssues,Itryt
ot oucht hem butIt
hinkofthe
painhe'sprobablyin.Het ur
nsaroundandtears
keepflowingonmyey esIr
eall
ydon'tknow
why ,
buthedoesn'tl
ookbother
edbyt hi
sinstead
hejustmov esi
nfrontofmeandt akehisT-shir
t
thati
sont opofthebedandstart
st owearit
andasi tt
oucheshisbackhewinces.
Mike:
Itol
dmaMar
that
opr
epar
etheki
dst
hey
j
ustsl
eepi
ng.
Ilookathim wi
thmyey
esopenandher
etur
ns
thelook,
hemustthi
nkI
'm af
ool
.
Me:
Whathappenedt
oyourback?
Mike:Not
hing,wasthereany
thi
ngel
sey
ou
neededbesidesthekids?
Nohedidn'
t?Ihat
eitwhenhedoest
his,
actal
l
st
rongandmasculi
ne.
Me:Mikepl
easeI'
m nof
ool
,Iknowwhen
somet
hingi
swr ong.
Mike:It
houghty
ouwer
enoti
nter
est
edi
nthe
t
ruth?
Me:Stopremindi
ngmeofwhatIsai
d,I
'
m
worri
edaboutyouandsoisMaMart
ha. She
saysyounotyourusual
sel
fandI
'
vebeen
seei
ngthattoo.
Mi
ke:
Ohhy
oumeanIdon'
tfol
l
owbehi
ndy
ou?
Me:
That
'snotf
airandy
ouknowi
t.
Mi
ke:
Okayf
ineLi
l
ianwhatdoy
ouwantt
oknow?
Hesay sinratherani r
rit
atedwayandapar tof
mewant storatherleavethi
st hi
ngaloneandl et
him dealwithhisdemonsal onebutIsti
lll
ove
thi
smannomat terhowmuchIt r
ytoconvince
mysel fthatIdon'tandrightnowIneedt o
i
ndulgedeepi ntohi m evenifhe'
sanass.My
mindpl aysbacktowhenhesai dhefoughtfor
hisli
fetocomebackt omeandnowIseeal l
thi
s,may beIwast ooangryandemot ionalto
givehim achancet otal
k.
He'
ssi
tt
ingattheendsi
deoft
hebedandI
st
andi
nf r
ontofhi
m andheav
oidsey
econt
act.
Me:Whatdi
dyoumeanwhenyousai
dyou
f
oughtf
oryourl
i
fet
ocomeback?
Mike:Justthat
,Li
l
iandi
dyoureal
l
ythi
nkthatI
wouldleaveyouandturnmybackonyou?
AndJustlikethathe'
sbacktot hatseri
ousguy
thatIdon'
tli
ket oomuch,hi
sey eli
dsaremov i
ng
ratherf
astandt hatt
ell
smet hathe'str
yingt
o
dodgesomet hingandI'
m nothav i
ngit,
he'snot
theonlyonewhocanbeser i
ous.
Me:WhatwasIsupposet othi
nk?Iwi
shedand
pr
ayedformonthsunt
ilIdidn'
tknowwhatt
o
pr
ayorwishabout.
Mike:Li
l
ianIl
ovey
oui
sthatr
eal
l
yhar
dto
bel
iev
e?
Me:MikeIaskedyouaquest
ion,
stopt
ryi
ngt
o
di
ver
gethetopic.
Mi
ke:
Whymusty
oual
way
sknowev
ery
thi
ng?
He'
stensi
ngupandhi
sjawsf
let
chandhi
s
pressi
nghispalmstoget
her
,Imov
etowards
thedoorandlocki
tandcomebacktosi
tnext
tohim.
Mike:(
sighs)Li
li
anwhatI'm goi
ngt otel
lyou
mustnev erl
eavethi
sroom andifitdoesI
swearonmybi ologi
calf
athersgraveIwil
lki
ll
youeveni fy
outheloveofmyl i
fe.
Hehasal waysj
okedaboutki
ll
i
ngmebef orebut
thi
srighther
eisnojoke,
he'
sactuall
yreall
y
seri
ousandIstruggl
einr
esponding.
Mi
ke:
Arewecl
ear
?
Ij
ustnodandhechangeshi ssit
ti
ngpositi
on,
hemov estotheothersi
deoft hebedfacingthe
otherside,
ourbacksarefacingeachotherand
Iwaitforhimtotal
kbuthisquiteforawhile.
Mike:Fi
rstofall
let
'sgetonethi
ngclear,Iwoul
d
neverabandonedyounorleaveyouwithout
reason,y
esGodasmywi tnessyoudri
vemet o
madnessbutIwoul dn'
tchangeevenonebi tof
y
ouandi thonest
lybr
okemyhear
tthaty
ou
t
houghtIdid.
Ican'tevenseehisf
acerightnowbutIcantel
l
byhisv oi
cehemeansbusi nessandhi
snot
beingsentiment
alaboutwhathe'ssay
ing.
Mike: Yesthemi ssi
onwascompl et
edandt he
packcamebacki mmedi at
elybutIdeci dedt o
staybehi ndtobuyy ouagi f
torsomet hing
becauseIwaswor r
iedabouty ouandwhenI
l
ef tyouwer enot100%okaysoIwant ed
somet hingtocheery ouup.Iwasget tinginmy
rentedcarwhenIsuddenl yfeltsomet hinghit
meandi twasl i
ghtsoutandt henextt hingI
knowIwakeupbei ngtiedtoachai rst r
ipped
nakedandi twasapparentlythemanbehi ndthe
humant raf
ficki
ngofthosey ounggirls.
Ishif
tinthebedI'
m nowf aci
nghisbackandhe
hashishandsonhi skneesandhisvoi
ceis
becomingmor ecorrosi
veanddeeperandifI
didn'
tknowbetterIwouldsayheisontheverge
ofcr
yingandIwantt
osaysomet
hingbutIl
et
hi
mf i
nish.
Mike:Hewasangryaboutmeruini
nghispl
ans
andmostofallmaki
nghimlosemoney .
For
abouttwomonthsIwast or
tur
edintheworst
possi
blewayand..
..
..
..
Hest andsupandwal kstot hebal conyofhis
room andIseehi m pacingar ound.Istandup
andgot ohi m andhe'scryingandhi seyesare
bloodshotr ed,IpanicIdon'tknowwhatt odoor
sayt ohi m.He'salwaysbeent hest r
ongand
emot ionlessoneandI '
venev erseenhi ml i
ke
thisbef ore.
Itouchbot hhishandbutt heyare
shakingt remendousl yInowf eelmyownf ace
beingwetI '
m cryi
ngt oo.Att hismomentr i
ght
hereIt ookmypr i
deandshov eitoffel
sewhere
,thisismymanandIneedt ohel phim andI
knowt here'smoret othi
st hanj ustthetort
ure
,Mi keisst r
ongandIdoubtt or turewouldbreak
himl i
ket his.
Me:
Andwhat?Whatel
sehappened?Tal
kto
me.
Mike:Ican'
t,
ifIdothi
swil
lchangehowyousee
me, youmightthi
nkI'
m weakornotman
enough.
Me:No,not
hingwoul
deverchangehowIfeel
abouty
ouorthemanthatyouare.Il
ovey
ou.
Hisreact
ioncat chesmebysurprise,
heroughl
y
removesmyhandsofhi m andpushesmeaway
Ial
mostf al
l butthankstot
hemi nit
ableher
eI
catchmybal ance.I'
m scar
edIwon'tli
ewhathe
j
ustdidremi ndedmeofwhatkagi sodidtome
butI'
m notletti
nghim outoft
hisone.
Mi
ke:
Lov
e?
Heshouts,
hesaysthi
smustbeasecretbutI
sweari
fthi
swasaf ul
lnei
ghbor
hoodt
hey
wouldal
lbehear
inghi
mr i
ghtnow.
Mike:
Lov
e??Whatwomanwantstol
oveaman
whowasfuckenr
apedmul
ti
plet
imesandhas
suckedot
hermansdi
ckshuhhh?y
out
ell
me.
Mywhol ewor ldcamet oast andstil
ljust
thinkingofwhathej ustsaid,whatdoIdoorsay
thatist hemosthor ribl
ewayt otakeawaya
man' spr idefrom him. I
'
m st untedIwantt o
mov etowar dshi m butI'm scaredIdon' tthink
he'sawar eofwhathej ustsai dtome. Hemov es
pastmeandgoesbackt ot heroom andsi tson
thebedandI 'm sti
llatthesamepl acehel eft
me.Gui ltwhispersinmyear ,i
fhedi dn'tstay
behindbecauseofmeal lt
hi swouldn'thav e
happened.Iwal kslowlybacki ntother oom and
he'sseat edinthesameposi ti
onasbef ore.I
standi nf rontofhim andr emov ehishands
from hiskneesandhel ooksupt omeand
brokeni sal lIseeinhi seyes.Isi ti
nhi slapand
Ihughi m br ushinghi sheadandher eluctantl
y
hugsbackbutev entuall
ytightenshishol don
mywai st.
Me:
Ilov
eyou
It
hinki
tsenought hathet
alkedtomeabouti
t
soIdon'tneedtoputemphasisonitor
sympathyI'
llj
ustbeheref
orhim.
Me:Youar
esti
llt
hesameMzi
wonkeIlov
eand
needandt
hati
snotgoi
ngt
ochange.
Mi
ke:Lil
i
anIam nott
hemanf
ory
ou,
I
'm
messedup.
Me:Messedupismynickname,
Idon'
twant
any
bodyelseIwanty
ou..
Weconti
nuetostayl
ikethi
sforawhi
l
eandwe
st
il
lqui
etunt
ilIbr
okeit
.
Me:
(touchi
nghi
sback)Doesi
thur
t?.
Mi
ke:
Notl
i
kebef
ore
He'
smorecal
mernowbyt
hatImeant
her
ear
e
not
ear
s.
Me:
Howdi
dyougetout
?
Mi
ke:
You!
!
Me:
me?
.
Mike:Iwantedtosurr
enderbutIremembered
mypr omisetoyouandIt r
iedmybestto
escapeandIf i
nal
lygotthechance.
Iranf
ormy
l
ifeonceIwasoutandIwashel pedbyalady
call
edpromise.Shenursedmebackt ohealt
hin
herhousetil
lIwasgoodandher eIam.
Me:
Iam sosor
ry
Mike:IknowI'
vebeenaj
erksi
nceIcameback
I
'm sorr
ytoo.
Me:
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dseesomeoneaboutt
his.
Mi
ke:
For
geti
t,
I'
m notseei
ngnoshr
iek.
Me:
ButMi
key
o..
.
Mike:
Butnot
hing,Icanhandl
emyowni ssues
andbesi
desi
fy ouknowthat'
sal
lIneed.
Me:
Mthembu
Mike:For
getit
,I
'
m notsi
tti
nginfrontofsome
f
ool andt
ell
him aboutt
hisinfactthi
sisthe
l
astti
mewet al
kabouti
tever,
Li
li
anthi
sis
embarr
assi
ngandhumil
iat
ing,
Idon'
twant
peopl
ethi
nki
ngI'
m nownotmanenough.
Me:
Youar
e,okayI
'
llnotspeakabouti
tagai
n.
Mi
ke:
Laywi
thme?
..
Igetupfrom hislapandheshift
stothepil
l
ows
andlaysdownandIcl osemyey esthi
nki
ngof
thepainhe'sfeel
i
ng" I
tsfi
ne"hesayswhil
e
fi
xinghimself
.IhearSiyacry
ingfr
om the
monitor*perf
ecttimi
ngargg*
Mi
ke:
Hemi
ssedhi
smommy
.
Me:
Hesur
edi
d,l
etmecheckonhi
m.
Iunlockthedoorandgot othenurseryandhe
j
ustneededhi sbott
leandhewasbacki nlala
l
and,Iwentbackt oMikesroom andhewas
al
readysleepingsoIwalkeddownst air
sand
pouredmysel fsomev odkaIthi
nkIdeser v
e
andneedi t
.Loveisdangerous,t
oxi
cand
unreveal
i
ngandi tgiv
esy ounotimetobr eath
.Tot hinkwhenIcameher eIwasangr yand
didn'
tcar eaboutMi kebutI '
m gladwhenhe
neededmeIwasabl etobeabi ggerper sonand
suppor thimr egardlessofourmessedup
relat
ionshipbutIguessev enthatr esolvedit
selfbecausei fIdidn'tknowbef orenowIknow, I
l
ov eMi keandIneedhi m bymysi de.Ihonestly
feelhor r
ibl
e,allthosemont hsIhav einsul t
ed
uponhi snameandboi ledt hatangeri nside
Yenahewashur ti
ngandf i
ghtingforhi slif
eto
comebackt omeandy etwhenhecamebackI
didn'
tev engiv ehim achancet otalk.Iwal kto
thekitchenandIseeMaMar t
hacookedandas
usual i
tst r
ipeandsamp, ayykanti what '
sup
withhim andt hesehorriblefoodImusthav e
histastebudschecked.
Mike:
Youwoul
dn'
tdi
efr
om eat
ingt
haty
ou
know?
Ilookupt
oseehim st
andi
ngbyt
hef r
idgeand
thewayhe'
sleani
ngmakemycli
tit
ch" St
op
bei
ngahoeLi
l
ian"Isaywi
thi
nmybr
eat
h.
Me:I
'm nev
ereat
ingt
hat
,I
'
llmakemy
sel
f
somethi
ngelset
oeat
.
Mi
ke:
Comeher
e?
Imoveandst
andbyhi
m andhebr
ingsme
cl
osergr
abbi
ngmywaist.
Mike:
Youaret hebestt
hingi
nmyl i
feandI
knowI'
m notalwayseasytodeal
withbutas
l
ongasIgoty ouI'
m good.
Mycliti
sreal
lyt
hrobbi
ngrightt
hat
'sitI
'm
of
fi
ciall
yahoeImeanIshoul dbeseri
ousand
st
affandhereIam thi
nki
ngabouthisdick.
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Mi
ke:
Soy
ouwer
ereal
l
yser
iousupst
air
s.?
Me:
IwasandIst
il
lam
Mike:Ithoughtyouwerejustcomforti
ng
me,pleasedon'tf
eelobl
igatedbecauseofwhat
I
'v
ej usttol
dy ou.
Me:Iknowwest illhavetofi
xal otbutI
'
m
wi
ll
ingtotry
.I'
vejustlostmymot herandI'
m not
l
oosingyoutoo,youwer etakenawayf r
om me
f
ormont hssoI'm nothavingit
.
Mi
ke:
Yesmam
Me:Nowt hatwebackoncivi
li
sedbasis,
we
needtoshavethatbear
dyessesuyat
husa(you
arescar
y)
Mi
ke:OhhIseeyou'
vegotj
okes,
Il
ongedfor
mont
hstoseethatsmi
leandhearyourl
aught
er.
Me:
We'
vegotti
menowandwewi
l
lmakeup
f
ort
hel
ostti
me.
Mike:ButI'
m st
il
lnotsureifI'
m safesoIneed
youtomov eherewiththekidssot hatIcanbe
abl
et oprot
ectyouallwhil
eIdeal withthi
s
person.
Me:What??Yousti
l
lgoi
ngbackt
othi
sjobaf
ter
whathappened?
Mike:Ineedtodealwi
ththoseguysot herwi
se
I
'll
foreverl
ookbehi
ndmyback, Iwanty ouand
thekidstoli
vefr
eel
ynotalwayssurroundedby
guardspleaset
ryandunderst
and.
Me:Andt
henwhathappenswhent
heyhur
tyou
agai
nort
heki
dsorme?
Mike:
That '
swhyIneedtoclosethi
sandthen
aft
erthatIpromi
seI'
m donewiththepr
otect
ive
uni
t.
Me:
Please,
Idon'
twantt
oli
vei
nfear
.
Hehugsmefrom t
hebackandIf
eelhi
s
gr
owingbul
geonmyass"suchaper
v"
Mi
ke:
Yourassgotbi
gger
Me:
Mysexl
i
fehasbeenamazi
ng
Mi
ke:
Wheni
syourf
uner
al?
Il
aughathisquesti
onIsometimeswonderi
fat
somepointIwouldmakehim angr
ytoan
ext
entwherehewoul dki
l
lme,youneverr
eal
ly
knowwit
hhim hecanbeal
oosescr
ew
somet
imes.
[
04/
27,
19:
01]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT8
Mi
ke
Openingupt oLi l
ianmademef eelbetterabout
thi
ssi tuati
on, theembar rassmentand
humi l
iationIf eltbecauseoft hi
ssi t
uat i
onwas
beyondr epairableandi tmademef eellessofa
manbutLi l
ianbei ngher eformeandsuppor ti
ng
mei smaki ngi tbet ter.
IloveLi l
i
anandi fIwas
notsur ebef orenowIam , notmanywomancan
sti
llsay" Ilovey ouandneedy ou"af terhearing
suchdi straughtact ionbutshe' sher eandshe' s
will
i
ngt ohel pmet hroughi talt
houghIhav e
madepeacewi thi tandI 'm mov ingonwi thmy
l
ife.Afterescapi ngi ttookmeal ongt i
met o
fi
nallyregai nmypr ideofbei ngamanagai nand
thisiswhyIneedt oconcl udet hissot hatmy
familycanbepr otect ed.Yest erdaywecl eared
MaGr acebel ongingswi thLilyandt hebr others
andImustsayLy nni sdoi ngexcept ionalwel lin
regardst ohermot her sloss,shehasn' tgivenme
herresponsei nmysuggest i
onofhermov ingi n
myhousewi t
ht heki dsandhonest lyI'
m dy ing
forthatt ohappent hishousei sawf ull
y
empt y.Thisiswhatshedi dt ome, Iusedt o
enjoybei ngal oneint hehousebutnowIj ust
wanti tfil
led.Shecal l
edanhouragosay ing
she'scomi ngandr ightnowI '
m pr eparingher
l
unchandbyt hatImeanr eal f
oodnott hose
greenl eavesshecal lsfood. Shesay sshe
wasnt st oloosewei ghtbutI 'mf aili
ngt o
under standwhyshe' sper fect l
yf i
net hewayshe
i
s. Isawt hedooropeni ngandt hereshewas
thelov eofmyl ovel ookingr eallysexyi nat ight
bluejeanwi thawhi teShi rtandbl ackheel s.She
closedt hedoorandt hrewherheel sont hef l
oor
comi
ngi
nmydi
rect
ion.
Li
l
y:Mzi
!!!
OhhIstoppedbei
ngMikebutt
hatwi
l
lchange
I
'mjustlet
ti
ngherhav
ehermomentrightnow.
Me:
Makhumal
o(Huggi
ng)
Li
l
y:Lookaty
ou,
youl
ookhappy
.
Me:Iam ,
youar
emyhappi
ness.Wher
ear
emy
ki
ds?
Li
l
y:WowsoIwasnotmi
ssed?
Me:
(laughs)Jeal
ousyi
snoty
ourf
ri
end.
Li
ly:Mxm whatev
er,
theyareathomewi
tht
he
nanny.Iwentt
ocheckattheoffi
ce.
Me:
Yougoi
ngbackt
owor
k?
Li
l
y:No,
butIdoneedt
oregul
arl
ychecki
n.
Me:
Imadey
oul
unch.
Lil
y:Letmegosi
tdownandy
oucanf
eedme
then.
Il
aughedasshemadeherwaytot
hecouch,
I
poureduswi
neandtookt
hefoodwit
hmeto
her.
Li
l
y:I
'
llhav
ethewi
nebutt
her
estnot
hanky
ou.
Me:
Thi
sisr
eal
l
yni
cet
hough
Li
l
y:AndI
'
m onadi
et.
Me:(putti
ngherf
eetonmylap)Idon't
underst
andwhyyouwanttoloosewei ghty
ou
perf
ectl
yfi
netomeandIlovey ourt
hickthi
ghs.
Lil
y:I
'
m doingthi
sforme,Iwantmybodyback
totheshapeitwasbef
ore.
Me:okayy
ouar
eal
way
sbeaut
if
ult
ome,
canI
ki
ssyou?
Li
l
y:Si
ncewhendoy
ouaskper
missi
onf
rom
metodothi
ngs.
?
Me:It
sjustthatsincewedeci
dedt
ogivet
hisa
tr
ywehav enotkissedbutl
eti
tbeknownIdo
notaskforpermission.
Li
l
y:(
laughs)Thear
rogantassi
sback.
Ipull
edherlegsov erandshewasnowonmy
l
apwi thmyhandsonherassandshehadher
armswr appedinmyneckwi t hourf oreheads
againsteachother.Icaressedherl owerl i
pwi th
mineandbi ti
tandshemoaned. Ilickedherl ips
wit
hmyt ongueandshesmackedherl ipsont o
mineandweki ssed,thekisswasf ullofhunger
andl ustandIlovedt hetextureofherj uicyli
ps
againstmine,
thekisscont inuedf orawhi leuntil
Ibitherli
pagainandshescr eamedout
punchingmychest .
Li
ly:
Youcanbeanasssomet
imes,
(touchi
ng
herl
ip)Ouchi
thur
ts.
Me:
Letmemakei
tbet
ter
.
It
ri
edtot
ouchherl
i
pbutshepushedmyhand
away.
Li
l
y:Nxal
eav
emeal
one.
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Li
l
y:Goodf
ory
ou
Me:
Lil
i
anIl
ovey
ou
Li
l
y:Iwoul
dlov
emet
oo.
Thi
swomancanbesost
ubbor
n.
Me:
Makhumal
oIl
ovey
ou
Li
l
y:Il
ovey
out
ooMt
hembu.
Iknewt
hatwoul
ddot hetr
ick,
sheadjust
edher
l
egsandshe'
snowsitti
ngonmyl egswithher
l
egsonmysidesfaci
ngme.
Li
l
y:I
'
mthi
nki
ngofget
ti
ngal
asersur
ger
y.
Me:
Huhhhwhat
'st
hat
?
Li
l
y:I
tsf
emal
est
uff
.
Me:NoIwanttoknow,
ify
ouar
egoi
ngt
obe
cutIneedt
oknow.
Lil
y:Ishouldhavesai
dtreatment
,Iwantt
o
remov etheexcesscel
l
ulit
eonmyst omach.
Me:
Youl
i
keexagger
ati
ngt
hingsI
'
m sur
eit
snot
ev
ent
hatbad.
Li
ly:
Itis,
poppingoutbabi
esneedst
ost
opmy
bodyispayingfori
t.
Me:Needst
ost
op?Whatdoyoumean?Li
l
ian
youst
il
loweme6moreki
ds.
Li
ly:
(laughs)I
nyourdr
eamsbesi
desIt
hinkmy
eggsaredone.
Me:
Keepl
aughi
ngwewi
l
lsee.
Li
l
y:Thi
sshopi
scl
osedmyl
ove.
Me:I
ftheshopi
scl
osedt
hennoonecanent
er
r
ight
?
Li
l
y:Ri
ght
..
..
..
..wai
twhatdoy
oumean?
Me:ImeanMrJuni
orcannotcomeinf
or
shaggi
ngwhi
chmeanshewi l
lhav
etotr
ynext
door.
Lil
y:Idi
dnotagreeont
hat,
Iwoul
dnev
erdo
thatIl
oveJuni
or.
Me:
Youagr
eedsot
her
e'snot
urni
ngback.
Ikeptlaughingatherasshemadebeggi ng
facesf ormet oreconsiderbutI'm not,t
hi sis
whyIl ovethiswomanshemakesmesohappy
withoutgivi
nganef fort.She'snowsul kingand
i
snott al
ki
ng, she'
sreall
ycr azy.Iwasont opof
herkissingalloverherfaceandshewas
l
aughi ngwhenwehear dsomeonecl eartheir
throat
swhi chwaswei r
dbecausesecur itydi d
notinform me. Il
ookedupandsawt heper sonI
despisewi t
hmywhol ebei ng,Istoodupand
Lil
ianwasbehi ndmef ixinghernowopenshi rt
andIputmyhandonmypocket .
?
??:
Mnake(br
other
)
Me:
Khay
awhatdoy
ouwant
?
Khay
a:I
sitacr
imet
ovi
sitmybr
other
?
Me:
Onl
yift
hebr
otherdoesn'
twanty
ouher
e.
Khaya:
Geezcouldyoubl
oodymov eon,
younot
goi
ngtoint
roducemetoyourcur
renthoe?
Ifel
tmybl oodboil
,thi
sisexact
lywhyIdon'
t
wanttobear oundKhayabecauseIfearmy
react
ion.
Me:Fuckyou,
getoutofmyhouseanddon'
tyou
ev
erinsul
tmywomanl iket
hat
.
Li
l
y:Babyl
etmel
eav
eandcheckont
het
wins.
Khay
a:Twi
ns?Areyousur
etheyar
ey our
sI
meanIwasbegi
nni
ngtothi
nkyouareinf
ert
il
e.
Me:Don'
tgobaby,hei
s.ShouldIcal
lsecur
it
yor
youwi
lll
eav
eony ourownfreewil
l.
Khaya:(
laughs)I
'
llseeyouaroundbrot
herand
hopeful
ly(bi
teshisli
p)I
'l
lseeyouagai
nsexy
l
ady.
Hesai
dref
err
ingt
oLi l
i
anandshejustlookedat
me.Hewal
kedoutleavi
ngmefrust
rated.
Li
l
y:Younev
erment
ionedhav
ingabr
other
?
Me:
That
'sbecauseIdon'
tconsi
derhi
m asone.
Li
l
y:Youhav
eabr
otherornot
?
Me:Ido,
butwejustshar
emymot
herhe'
sthe
chi
efusel
essson
Li
l
y:Whydoy
ouhat
ehi
m?
Me:That
'sastoryforanot
herdaybutpl
ease
st
ayawayfrom him.Heisnothi
ngbuttr
oubl
e..
Li
l
y:Iwon'
tdot
hatunl
essy
out
ell
mewhy
.
Me:Idon'
thavet
imefory
ourinter
dict
sjust
pr
omisemey ouwil
ldowhatIsay.
.
Li
l
y:Tel
lmewhy
.
Me:
...
..
..
.
Li
l
y:Ohhwel
lthenI
'
llaskhi
m
Me:Don'
tyoudar
e,Li
l
ianI
'
m notpl
ayi
ngwi
th
you.
Li
l
y:Iwasn'
tei
ther.
Shetookhercarkeysandlef
tleavi
nghershoes
behi
nd,Li
li
anissostubbor
nandt hi
s"IdowhatI
want"mindsett
hatshehasneedt ochange.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
19:
01]R:
8cont
inued
.
Li
l
ian
Itookmycarkey sandl eftbecausethisiswhat
Mi keal way sdoes,everythinghastosav edf or
what ev erdayhechoosest oopenupandi nal l
honest ythatwi l
lbeapr obl em i
nthi
s
relationshipbecauseI 'm oneper sonwhol ikes
toknowev er
ythi
ng.Igoti ntomycaranddr ove
out sidethegat eandt her ewasabl ackcar
blocki ngthewayj ustoutsidethegate.Thesi de
oft hedr i
v eropenedupandi twasKhay a.He
mov edandsatont opofhi sbonnet,Idon't
knowwhathewant sbutheneedst omov eout
ofmywaysoIcango. Igotoutofmycar
bar efootedandhej ustsmi l
ed.
Me:
Cany
oumov
e?
Khaya:(
steppi
ngdown)Hi
mynamei
s
Meli
khayaDimba.
Hemov
edt
owar
dsmer
eadyf
orahandshake.
Me:
Okay,
nowcany
oumov
e?
Khay
a:List
enIknowIi
nsul
tedy
ouear
li
eron
andI
'm sor
ry,
canyouf
orgi
veme?
Me:
Mel
i
khay
ari
ght
?Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his.
Khay
a:Idi
dn'
tcat
chy
ourname.
Me:
WasIt
hrowi
ngi
t?
Khay
a:Fei
styIsee,
nowondermybr
otherl
i
kes
you.
Me:
What
'st
hatsupposet
omean?
Khay
a:Ahhnot
hing,
your
eal
l
yar
ebeaut
if
ul.
Me:
Thanky
ou,
Whyar
eyouagai
nsty
ourbr
other
?
Khaya:
Iseehehasal
readybr
oughtyoui
nsi
de
the"
HateMel
ikhay
a"Webandofcausehe'
sso
i
nnocentandpur
e.
Me:
lookIdon'
tknowanyweb.
..
Khay
a:Whatl
i
esdi
dhefeed?BecauseI
'
m
pr
ett
ysur
eyouwoul
dn'
twantt
oenduplike
Nosi
pho.
Me:Hedi
dn'tl
i
etomenott
hatIneedt
ojust
if
y
mysel
ftoyou.
Khaya:Ohhpl
easeMikedoesn'
tevenknow
whattheword"t
rut
h"means, I
'
m sur
ehetold
youwhatwasconveni
entforhi
m.
Iwasaboutt
oaskwhathemeantbyt
hatbutI
fel
tat
ightgr
iponmyarm andi
twasMike.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
angobacki
nsi
denow.
Khaya:
Geezwhyar
ey ousogrumpy?I
'
mjust
get
ti
ngtoknowmysisteri
nlaw.
Mi
ke:Mel
i
khay
aItol
dy out
ost
ayawayf
rom
mywomanandmyli
fe.
Me:
Mikest
opshout
ingmar
n.
Mi
ke:
Didn'
tIsaygoi
nsi
de?
Howdidwemov efr
om l
aughi
ngtothi
s,he
l
ooksreal
lyser
ioushehasapoppi
ngv eini
nhi
s
f
orehead.
Khaya:
(laughs)Youshouldseey
ourfacer
ight
now,what?Ar eyouscar
edyourwomanwill
knowther ealyouorper
hapshowyouhaveall
yourmoney ?
Idon'
tknowhowbutKhayawasnowont
he
fl
oorMikehadpunchedhi
m.
Me:
Mike!
!!whywoul
dyoudot
hat
?
Mi
ke:
Insi
de!
!!
Histonewasv erydemandi ngandhewasver
y
seri
ous,Iwalkbackinsideleavi
nghi
mther
e
andwhenIwal kedinsidethehousehewas
al
readybehindme.
Mi
ke:
Itol
dyout
ost
ayawayf
rom hi
m.
Me:
ayy
ywhatwasIsupposet
odo,
hewasi
n
myway
.
Mi
ke:
Youdi
dn'
thav
etoent
ert
ainhi
m.
Me:Why?Whatdi
dhemeanwhenhesai
d"how
youmakeyourmoney
"?
Mike:Thi
siswhatImeanhehasal
readyf
il
led
yourheadwit
hnonsense.
Me:
Whati
sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
out
wo?
Mike:Thi
sisoneofthereasonswhyIwantyou
t
ost aywi
thme,Idon'twanthim neary
ou.
Me:I
'
m noty
ourchi
l
d,y
oudonotdi
ctat
ewhoI
t
alkt
oornot
.
Mike:
Lil
ianIknowmybrothermor
ethany
ou
andheisnothi
ngbutt
rouble.
Me:
Mxm gi
vememycarkey
sI'
m goi
nghome.
Mi
ke:
Noy
ounot
,I
'
llhav
etheki
dsbr
oughther
e.
Me:Ayyychausuy
ahl
anya(Youar
ebei
ng
cr
azy)
,gi
vememykey s.
?
Mi
ke:
Ial
readyt
oldy
oumyanswer
.
Me:Soy oukeepi
ngmeher
ewi
thoutmy
consent
.
Mike:
Ineedtodosomet
hing,
I'
llbeinmyoffi
ce
anddon'
ttr
ytoleav
enoonewill
allowyouout.
Me:
Ihat
eyouf
orr
eal
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Hel eftandwentt ohisoffi
ceandhej ustlef
tme
hereboi l
ingi fthisisgoingt obet hebasisof
ourr el
ationshipt henI'
m nott oosureaboutt his
,hecan' tbef orcingmet ost aywher eIdonot
wantt oandIcan' thelpbutt hinkaboutwhat
Khay asai dandhowMi kereact edtohim
outside.Ithinki tisnowt hatI'
m beginningto
knowMi ke,fi
rstlyhenev ertoldmeabouthav ing
abrot herandnowt hebrothershowsupt alki
ng
thi
ngsIdon' tknowbuty ouknowwhatI '
ll
give
himt hebenef itoft hedoubt.
[
04/
27,
19:
01]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT9
Li
l
ian
Miker eall
ygotonmyl astnervestodayandf or
thathecangoshov ehi sarr
ogantand
controll
ingasssomewher efarawayf rom
me.Thenannydr oppedt hekidsoffanhourago
withtheirclot
hesandev er
ythingandal sosome
ofmi ne,Mnqobi asalway sl
ov esbeinghereand
thetwinswel lIdon'
tknowhowt heyfeelbut
theyar eokay.
I
tsnowdi nnert
imeandI '
vealr
eadyputthe
t
winstosleepnowI '
m eati
ngdinnerwi
thMr
t
alkerher
eandMi kehasbeeni nhisof
fi
cethe
wholeti
meandt hatactual
lyworksper
fect
lyf
or
me.
Nqobi
:
MacanIsav
ethesev
eggi
esf
or
t
omorrow?
Me:Nicet
ry,
noeatt
hem noworI
'
mlocki
ngt
he
pl
ayr
oom tomor
row.
Hewant edtoarguewithmebutst opped,we
alwayshavethesetri
ckswhenhehast oeat
veggieshesaystheyarenotnicebutthey
healt
hyforhim sohehastoo.Iwatchhi m ashe
stuff
salloft
hem inhismouthIdon'tevent hi
nk
heischewing,he'
sjustswal
lowingIguesski ds
will
bekids.
Nqobi:
(gulpsdownwater
)I'
m done,
mom i
s
uncl
eMi kenoteat
ing?
Me: Idon'
tknow,i
tsti
meforbedsogot
akeout
yourPj'
sI'
llbeupther
esoon.
Nqobi
:Okay,
Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Lov
eyout
oobaby
.
Her unsof
fupstai
rsandIclearourtableand
putthem i
nthedishwasherwhileIclean
aroundtheki
tchen.
Mi
ke:
What
'sf
ordi
nner
?
Iconti
nuedsweepi ngthefl
oorbecausehe's
surel
ynott al
ki
ngtomeaf t
ertr
eati
ngmel i
ke
somet oddlerwhostil
lneedstobetoldwhatt o
do.Heput sbothhi
shandsi nhi
spocket str
ying
tobeallinti
midati
ngbutthatwon'twork..
Mi
ke:
Lynnt
alkt
ome.
Iputt hebr oom backi nthecabi netandheaded
upstairsleav i
nghi m standingthereandIf ound
Mnqobi sleepingont opoft hebedwi thhis
cl
othesst i
llonhim, t
hischi l
dhasal i
stening
problem .Itookouthi spyjamasf rom hisback
packandsl owl yundressedhi m outofhi s
cl
othesandputhi mi nhi sPj'
st henIputhi m
undert hecov ersbabynumber1sor ted,Imake
mywayt ot henurseryandmybabi esareout
andthatmeanssomemor emet imey ayy,if
Miket hinksI '
m sleepinginhisr oom todayhe' s
mistaken.Imakemywayt othespar ebedr oom
whichi sv eryfarfrom thenur serybutthank
heav ensforbabymoni tors.Iremov eallmy
clothesandhi ttheshowerf orabout10mi nut
es
thenl ot
ionmybodyandgoti nmybr aandpanty
ti
llthisdayIcan'tsl
eepwi thPJ' sonandI '
ve
givenupont r
ying,
Igotundert hecov ersand
cov eredmysel fnotthatIwassl eeping,Iwas
scrolli
ngthroughmyphonet henIheardt he
doorswi ngopenandIal r
eadyknewi twasMi ke
soIr emainedi nmyposi t
ion.Ifelthi
m sitdown
nextt ome.
Mi
ke:
Baby
?
Ipai
dhi
m noat
tent
ion
Mike:LynnIknowy ounotsl
eepi
ngy
ou
br
eathingrat
eisfaster
.
Howthehel
ldoesheobser
vet
hatImeanwho
doest
hat
.
Me:
Mhhhh
Mike:
Fir
stl
yIwanttoapol
ogi
sefort
reati
ngyou
l
ikeachi
ldandsecondl
yyouareent
it
ledtoy
our
ownopini onaboutthi
ngsorpeoplesoi fyou
wanttot alktoKhayaIwon'tst
andiny our
way,t
helastt hi
ngIwanttodoist oseem
contr
oll
ingandadomi nantpersoninthis
rel
ati
onshi psoI'
m sor
ry.
Me:Youknowev er
yti
meIthinkI'
m cont
ent
wi
thyouorthatIknowyouIalwaysfal
lbackt
o
st
ep1.
Mike:Li
li
anasl ongaswegotl ovewewi llbe
okay,
nowj ustli
keeverybodyIhaveapastt hat
I
'm notproudofandt hat'
swhatitisa"past"
nowMel i
khay amakesi tapoi
nttoalwayst ake
mebackt here.
Ipul
l
edt
hecov
ersf
rom myf
aceandl
ookedat
hi
m.
Me:Mikey ouknowev er
ythi
ngaboutme,why
can'
tIknowev er
ythi
ngaboutyou.Iwantt
o
knowitall
.
Mi
ke:
Babysomet
hing'
sar
ebet
ternott
old,
you
i
nmypr esentandIwouldli
keustolookt
oa
br
ight
erfutur
eandleavethepastwherei
tis.
Me:Notwheni
twi
l
lkeepr
esur
faci
ngt
henI
wantt
oknow.
Mike:Ican'
t,
babyt
her
ear
ethi
ngsIcan'
t
di
sclose.
Me:
Youchangi
ngonme
Mike:Nothi
nghaschanged,
myl
ovef
ory
ou
hasnotchanged.
Me:Youusedtobesosimpl
ebutnowit
slike
i
tsonl
ynowt hatI
'
m begi
nni
ngt
opeelofthe
pai
nt.
Mi
ke:
Babyt
hati
snott
ruei
tsj
ustt
hatI.
..
.
Me:Igeti
t,
youhav
eapastt
hatIcan'
tknow
about.
Ipul
l
edbackt
hecov
ers
Mi
ke:
Babypl
ease
Me:
Justl
eav
emeal
onepl
ease.
Her eleasesabi gsighandIf eel him st anding
upmaki nghi swayt ot hedoororsoIt hought
unt i
l Ifelthim getti
ngundert hecov erf rom the
bot t
om hol dingbothmyl egsdown. Heopened
myl egsandgotbet weent hem , Icouldf eelhis
breat honmyt highsandmyv agi naqui ckly
react edIcoul dfeelmysel fget tingwet, Ihave
nothadany t
hingcloset osexf orov er
11mont hssonowonderi tsr eact ingt his
way, t
hinkingabouthi slongandbi gmember
i
nsi demesendsmet ocl oudni neal ready .
My
kneesar efacingupandhi shandsar eonmy
alreadyper kynipples. Heki ssesmyGar den
throught hepant yandIr eleaseasul trymoan
mybodynow ar chingf ormor ebuthekeeps
kissingi tandr i
ghtnowIr egretput t
ingonaf ul
l
pant y. Hest opsandIf eel hist humbr ub
throughmycl i
tandIl oosei t.
Me:
Mikepl
ease
Heremov esall
thecover
sfr
om t
hebed,now
he'
sstandingontopofmybodyful
l
ydressed
whi
leI'
m halfnaked.
Mi
ke:y
oul
ookr
eal
l
ysexyr
ightnow.
Hesayskissi
ngmyneckandmyhandsr
oan
ar
oundhiswaist.
Mi
ke:
Thet
hingsIwantt
odot
oyou.
.
Me:
What
'sst
oppi
ngy
ou?Iwanti
t.
Hesmasheshi slipsagai
nstmi neandki sses
mel i
ket here'
snot omorr
owwhi l
ehishands
tanglearoundwi t
hmyni pplesandIgoov ert
he
edgewhenIf eelhisbi
gbulgeinsidehisjeans
.Hislipsarenowpl ayi
ngwithmybobbi esand
alr
eadyamoani ngmess, hi
smout hf
inally
reachesmyGar denandhef eastsinli
kei t
shis
l
astmeal andI'
ml oosi
ngmysensesasmy
bodyr eactstothi
skindofactionandIf eel my
orgasm atpeak.
Me:
Mhhhhhhf
uckI
'
m gonnacum!
!
Mi
ke:
Hol
dit
Itryforasl ongasIcanbutdamnt hisi st oo
much, If
eel anot heror gasm bui ldupont opof
theoneI '
m hav ingnowandmybodydeci desit
hasenoughandt hedoor sofJer usalem bur st
openasIr eleaseal l myj uiceandhel icksme
clean,hemov est omyf aceandki ssesme, t
he
tasteofmy selff rom hisl i
psmakesmesav our
untot hem mor e.Hismesmer i
zingandsmoot h
skinmakesmer eali
set hathei snakedandI
canf eelhisDi cksonbr ushi ngt hroughmy
stomachandhepul lsawayandsear cheshi s
j
eansandt akesoutacondom i nsertingi tand
hecamebackt ohi sposi tionandst oodonhi s
kneesandt ookhi stipandputi ti
nandI
moanedal it
tl
e, het ookhi st ipoutandr ammed
himsel fall
inandIscr eamed, hepul ledbot hof
myhandsov ermyheadhov eringov erme.
Mike:
(ki
ssesmyneck)ShhhIwantt
olov
eyou
t
onight.
Heslowlymov edhi
sDicksoninandoutandI
wasnowadj usti
ngandpleasur
ewasstart
ingt
o
showitsel
f.
"Fuckbabyy ousodamnt ight"Hegr oanedas
hispacest art edt oincreaseandmybodywas
i
nt angoy ear ningf ormor eandmymoanswer e
hisstimulationashepushedmyl egst omy
chestt ougheni nghi sstrokes, t
hebur ninside
myv agi namakeshi m godeeperandmywal l
s
capturehi m maki nghim gr oanloudlyasmy
ownpl easur et akesov er.Iuseal lthest rength
i
nmet oturnusov erI'
m nowont opofhi m,Isi
t
onhim anddi r ecthisDicksoni nsidemeandI
pushi talli
nandIst artmov i
ngwhi lehe's
holdi
ngmywai st,
Ifeelmyor gasm bui l
dupand
hesensesi tandf uckmef rom under neat handI
usemyhandt obal anceonhi schestasmy
j
uicesexpl odedi nhisdi ckandhekeptmov i
ng
andt hatmadei t3t i
mesheav enly,Itookhi m
outofmeasIcol l
apsedont opofhi mt r yi
ngt o
cat
chmybr
eat
h.
Mi
ke:
Sitonme
Headj ustedhi spositionandIsatonhi sface
givinghim di
rectcont actwithmyGar den,
I
l
eanedbackst roki
nghi sdickashet ongue
kissesmycl it,hestickshi stonguei nmyhole
whi l
ehisthumbr ubsmycl itvi
gor ousl
yandI
swearIl ostallmar bl esonmybr ainasthe
biggestorgasm t ookov erandIal sofel
thim
releaseahugeknot. Isli
det othesidenextto
him andhecr awlsupt omeki ssingmyl i
ps.
Me:
Myv
agi
nai
sbur
ning
Mike:(
Kissesme)Youar
eamazi
ng,t
heheat
i
nsideyoumakesmewannastayt
heref
orev
er.
Me:
I'
mti
redt
hatwasal
ong5hour
s.
Mi
ke:I
'
m goi
ngt
oshagy
out
il
lyourknees
wi
ggl
e.
Me:
hmmm Il
i
ket
hesoundoft
hatbutcanI
sl
eepf
ornow?
Mi
ke:
Nother
ethough
Me:
Wher
e?
Mike:Ourbedr
oom ,
soIcanf
ini
shwhatI
st
arted.
Thismandr i
v esmer eall
ymadbutt hel oveI
havef orhimi sbeyondallthat,hecar riedmet o
"our"bedr oom asheput sitandmi ndy ouwe
werenakedandwhenwegott ot her oom we
madel ovesomor eandi twasi ntoxicat i
ngand
emot ional,callmeahoe, slutorwhat ev erbut
thi
si smymanandaf ter11mont hsofnot
havinghi m Ideservet hi
sandev enmor einf act
.
alt
hought hisdoesn'tfixeveryt
hingwr ongi nour
rel
ationshipi tdefi
nit
elyignit
est hespar kinit
[
04/
27,
19:
01]R:
HISLOV
.
.
I
NSERT10
Li
l
ian
Idefini
tel
yneedtohav esomethingtokeepme
busydur i
ngtheday,thi
sbighousecanget
bori
ng.YesImov edintoMike'shouseandi t'
s
notli
keIhadachoi cehehadal lmyst uff
mov edhereandIdogethi spointabout
prot
ectingusbutwhatIwantt oknowi swhat
arewebei ngprot
ectedfrom notthathewi l
l
evertel
l me.
Wehav enothear
dany t
hingfrom Khay
abut
Mike'
sparentsar
etoflyintomorrowtosor
tout
t
hisfeudbetweenthem.
Iam goingtoseeTumi t
odayIhav enotseen
hersi
ncet hel
astti
me,I'
m notgoingthrough
anyt
hinghecti
citsj
ustrouti
necheckupi fthat
'
s
whatit'
scall
ed.
Thishasbeenar atherawkward
weekbecauseofMi ke'
snightmare,someday s
hewakesupscr eamingorsweatingheavlyand
idon' tev enknowwher etost artwiththe
tremor sbuthedoesn' twantt ot al
kaboutt hem
orany thi
ngconcer ningwhathappenedt ohim
soI 'l
llethim bebutIdon' tknowhowmuch
mor ei canhandl ethis.Iwalki nsi
deTumi 's
off i
ceandf orthefirsttimeI '
m actual l
ynoti
cing
thebeaut yofi tandshei sstandingatt hesame
wi ndowIusedt ostandi n,Iclearmyt hroat
maki ngmypr esencef eltandshet urnsand
l
ooksatmeandsmi les.
Tumi:Inowbeli
evet
hatmi
racl
esact
ual
l
ydo
happen(huggsme)
Me:
Andwhyi
sthat
?
Tumi:Lookaty
ou,
youl
ookbeaut
if
uland
radi
ant.
Me:
Ohht
hanky
ou,
Iam happy
.
Shegoggl
esmewi t
hhereyesandwebothsit
downandicoul
dtell
sheiseagert
ohearwhati
havet
osay.
Tumi
:Sowhatbr
ingsal
lthi
sposi
ti
vi
ty?
Me:
Wel
lMi
kei
sbackandwewor
kedt
hingsout
.
Tumi
:
Ohht
hati
samazi
ngI
'
m sohappyf
ory
ou
Me:
Thanky
ou
Tumi:
Areyoucer
tai
nthought
hatt
hisi
swhat
youwant
?
Me:Nodoubti
nmymind,Il
oveMikeandhe
makesmehappybutsomethi
ngsar
ediff
erent
.
Tumi
:Whatdoy
oumean?
Me: Everyt
hing,Igottenusedtohis
commandi ngway sandhi sneedtof eel
in
controlofther el
ati
onshipbutim discover
ing
thi
ngsnow. Forstart
ersIdidn'
tknowhehada
brot
herandnowhi sbr ot
hershowsupandt hey
hateeachot her,
secondlyhi
sbrothersaid
somet hi
ngabouthowhemakeshsmoneyand
howhei snott hesainthepaint
shimselftobe.
Tumi
:Doy
oudoubthi
m?
Me:
Ijustwi
shhecouldbehonestt
omet
hen
may
bei woul
dn'
tdoubthi
m.
Tumi
:Hav
eyout
alkedt
ohi
m?
Me:Yesbuthedidn'
tanswermyquesti
ons
,Mi
keisverysel
ecti
veaboutwhathesays.
Tumi wasaboutt otal
kwhenay ounglady
walkedin,shewasmor eorlessClai
re'
sage
andsomet hingaboutherl
ookedfamili
arbuti
don'tknowwhat .
Tumi
:It
oldy
out
oknockwheny
oucomeher
e.
???
:Mom I'
m sor
ry,hi
mam mynamei
s
Thabi
saI
'
m herdaughter
.
Shesaidshaki
ngmyhandandsomehowt he
sassy
nessshehadr emi
ndedmeofMike'
s
mother,cr
azyr
ight
.
Me:
HiThabi
sa,
I
'm Li
l
ian.
Tumi
:Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Thabi
sa:
Wowy
oumaki
ngmel
ookbad,
can'
tI
v
isi
tmymot
herwhom Il
ovev
erymuch.
Tumi:
Nowi def
ini
tel
yknowy
ouwant
somethi
ng.
Thabisa:
Okayf
ine,
si
ncet
odayit'
safri
daymy
fr
iendsandimadepl
anst
ogot oDurbanfort
he
weekendsomommydearestcanIborrowyour
minicooper
?
Tumi:Onescr
atchi
sweary
ouwi
l
lfi
xitwi
th
yourmoney.
Thabi
sa:(
huggi
ngandki
ssing)Youar
ethebest
motheri
nthewhol
eworl
d,seeyouonmonday
morni
ng.
Tumi
:Cal
lpl
ease
"Al
ri
ghtma"shewasalr
eadyout
sidet
hedoor
andIsatt
her
elaughi
ng.
Tumi
:I
t'
snotf
unny
Me:Ithoughti
wastheonlyonebull
iedbyher
chi
l
dren,Idi
dn'
tknowyouhadchil
dren?
Tumi:Justoneandshei
senoughasy
oucan
see(
laughs)
Me: Whatdoesyourhusbandsayaboutt
hat
becauseAccordi
ngtoMi keIst
il
lowehim6
morekids.
Tumi:
Myhusbandi sactual
l
yinfer
ti
leand
maybeim hor
ri
blebuti
'm gl
ad,Thabi
saisfr
om
myVarsi
tysweethear
t.
Me:
ohh
Tumi
:Buthedoesn'
tknow,
Me:
Ify
oudon'
tmi
ndmeaski
ng,
why
?
Tumi:
Her
elocat
edandwel
ostcont
actand
yeah
Me:Yourst
oryisverysi
mil
artominesandtake
i
tfr
om me,thatchi
ldneedstoknowherfat
her.
Tumi:
Itr
iedsear
chi
ngf
orhi
m butnot
hingsoI
st
opped.
Me:
Letmego,
i
t'
sfr
idaysoIneedt
orel
i
evet
he
nannyear
ly.
Tumi
:Okayi
twasgoodseei
ngy
ou.
Iwalkedtomycaranddr ovet othehouseand
Vuyo'scarwasparkedout side,t
hatiswei
rd
becauseheusuall
ypi cksupMnqobi fr
om
daycareonfri
day.Iwal i
nsideandhei sseat
ed
bythecounterwit
hMaMar thawi t
hthetwi
ns
nexttothem i
ntheirprams.
Me:
Heyev
ery
body
Mar
tha:
yesmychi
l
d
Me:Wher
eisthenanny
?Whatar
eyoudoi
ng
her
e(t
oVuyo)
?
Mar
tha:
Isai
dshecango.
Vuyo:Iwenttofet
chMnqobi
andtheysai
dMike
fet
chedhim butmasay
sheisnotheisnot
backyet.
Me:Heknowsit
saf r
idayt
odaywhywouldhe
dot
hatknowi
ngv er
ywellt
hatyousupposet
o
f
etchhi
m,l
etmecal
lhi
m.
Martha:
Wealr
eadyt
ri
edbuthei
snot
answeri
ng.
Me:
Okay,
wher
edi
dtheygot
hough?
Vuyo:
It'
snopr
obl
em ,
I
'l
lwai
t.
Thet
winsar
e
gr
owing.
Me:Theyare(
Nelicr
ies)Iknewi
t,
uthandai
at
tent
ion(
youlov
eat tent
ion)
.
Ipi
ckedherupandshei nstant
lyst
opped, tal
k
aboutbeingspoil
tbutIlovemybabies. We
wait
edf orabouthal
fanhourandMi kefinall
y
camei nbuthewasal oneandmyhear tstart
ed
beati
ngf ast.
Mi
ke:
Heybaby
Me:
Wher
eisMnqobi
?
Mike:
(l
ooksatVuy
o)i
sn'
thesupposet
obewi
th
you?
Vuy
o:Mant
heysai
dyoupi
ckedhi
m up.
Mike:What
?whywoul
dIdothatknowi
ngv
ery
wellt
hathei
sgoi
ngtoyourpl
ace.?
Alotwasgoingthroughmymindri
ghtnow,i
fhe
i
snotwi t
hMi kethenwher
eisheandwhy
wouldthedaycaresayhefet
chedhim,my
palmsweregetti
ngsweat.
Me:
(t
ear
y)Wher
eismychi
l
d?
.
.
.
(Pl
easedon'that
emeguy s,Ihadapr obl
em
wit
hmyphonesoIcoul dn'
tgiveyouguy s
anyt
hing.
I'
m sorr
yhopeyouallforgi
veme. )
[
04/
27,
19:
01]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT11
Iam ser
iousl
ygoi
ngcr
azyImeanhowi
sit
possi blethatmychi ldismi ssingwi t
hnot races
ofhi swher eabout s,al
lthatweknowi st hathe
wassi gnedoutofdaycar ebyMi keandt he
pol i
cehav ealreadywentt her eandi tisindeed
Mi ke'
ssi gnatureandhesay shedi dnotgo
thereandIdon' tknowwhatt obel iev eany mor e
andi tsnothel pi
ngt hatthesupposedt eacher
whowasatt headmi ndeski sunr eachabl eand
thecamer acoughtt hebacksi deofwhoev erdi
d
this,
butwhatconf usesmei showt hatback
viewl ookedexact l
yl i
keMi ke's.
Wear eallsit
ti
ngi nt
heli
vingroom Ihonestl
y
don'tknowwhatwear ewaiti
ngforbecausethe
poli
cehav enothingal
lIcandor i
ghtnowi spray
thatwhoev erhasmybabymakescont actandif
i
t'smoneyt heywantthenI'l
lgi
veittothem as
l
ongasi havemybabyback.
Li
ndi
:Si
sLil
i
anIcanprepar
edi
nnerf
or
ev
ery
oneifyoudon'
tmind.
Mar
tha:
I'
ll
hel
pyou
Ichosenottoanswerthatbecauserightnow
foodist
helastthi
ngonmymi ndnotknowi ng
wheremychildis,
butIsti
llhaveothertwothati
needtoatt
endto.
Me:
Mat
het
winsar
est
il
lsl
eepi
ng?
Mar
tha:Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hem ,
I
'l
ll
ookaf
ter
t
hem .
Me:Thanky
ou,I
'
llgoupandtakeanapsi
tt
ing
her
eandnotknowingany
thi
ngiski
ll
ingme.
Vuy
o:I
fany
thi
nghappensIwi
l
lwakey
ouup.
Inodmyheadandheadupst airsandknockin
mike'sof f
icebuthei snotther ewhi
chialso
foundoddbecausehesai dhewascommi ngup
heretotrymeansoff i
ndingMnqobi butheis
nothere,asIwal koutsomet hingcat
chesmy
attent
ionont opohhi schairIwalktograbit
andmyhear tsinks*Whati sgoingonhere*I
knowf oraf actthatwhenIdr oppedMnqobi of
f
hewaswear i
nghisnecklacenowwhatt hehell
i
sitdoi
ngher
e.
Tear
sfal
lonmyey
esasIsmel
li
tandi
tst
il
lhas
hi
sscent.
?
??:
Babywhat
sgoi
ngon?
Ifeelmyangerbui
l
dingupasIhearMi
ke'
s
voice.
Me:
Mikewher
e'smy
ychi
l
d?
Mike:
(tr
iestotouchme)I
'
mtr
yingmybestt
o
f
indhim andIwill
.
Me:Don'
ttouchme,whati
sthi
sdoingi
nyour
of
fi
ceify
oudon'tknowwhereheis?
Isaidthrowi
ngt
heneckl
aceathi
m andhe
pickeditup.
Mi
ke:
Wherdi
dyouf
indt
his?
Me:(
cry
ing)
Whereismychild,
hewasweari
ng
t
hatandnowit
siny ourof
fi
ceMikewhatdi
d
youdotomychil
d?
Mi
ke:
What
?(shocked)Yout
hinkIt
ookhi
m?
Me:
Whyi
sev
ert
hingpoi
nti
ngt
oyou?
Mike:Idon'
tbel
iev
ethi
s,Li
l
ianMnqobi
ismy
sonwhyt hehel
lwoul
dIdothaty
ouknowIl
ove
thatboy.
Me: Howam Isupposet oknow?All
Iknow
ri
ghtnowi sthamysoni smissi
nganev er
ythi
ng
pointstoyouandquietfr
ankl
yIdon'
tknow
whatt obeli
eveany
mor eandyoubeing
secreti
veisnothel
ping.
Mike:Ohhwowj ustwow,soy ouhaveal
ready
madeupy ourmind.Lil
ianthati
scrazyandifi
t
wasreall
ymewhot ookhim wouldibeso
carel
essthati
leaveeverthi
ngpoint
ingatme?
Me:
Expl
aint
hist
hen?
Mi
ke:Idon'
tknowwhati
shappenni
ngherebutI
wi
l
lfi
ndMnqobi ,
iDON'
TBELIEVETHIS.
Thi
sisconf
usi
ng,
whathei
ssay
ingmakes
senseifitwashi m nothingwoul
dbel eadingto
him nowIf eel gui
ltybecauseIcouldseet he
hurtinhi
sey es,If
eltmyphonev ibr
ateandt here
wasamessagef rom anunkownnumberand
whenIopenedi tther
ewasav i
deoat tachedto
themessage. Iplayedthev i
deoandIcoul dn'
t
helpbutcr ywhenIsawMnqobi lay
ingi nsome
unrecognisablebedsl eeping,
hedoesn'tlook
hurtandIr eadt hemessagebel ow"TELLYOUR
MANTOBRI NGMYSHI PMENTORELSEYOU
WILLNEVERSEEYOURSONAGAI N,HEKNOWS
WHATTODO"
Ifel
ldownonthechai
randcr
iedawhil
eMike
tookmyphonereadi
ngthemessageandhis
eyespoopedout
.
Me:
Whatshi
pmentMi
ke?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknow
Me:Thi
sisnotimetol
i
etome,
Iwantmyson
backMi
keplease.
Mi
ke:
Iwi
l
lfi
ndhi
m,pl
easet
ryt
ocal
m down
Me: Cal
m down?
HowcanIdot hatwhenIdon' t
knowwher emysonis?Whatshipmentarethey
tal
ki
ngaboutandpleasedon'
tl
ietome
becauseIknowyouknowwhosentmet hat
.
Iwat
chashishandsstar
ttwi
tchi
ngandt
hat
j
ustconf
ir
msthatheisly
ingt
ome.
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouwantmet
osay
.
Me: Howaboutthet
ruthMi ke,
i
tiscl
eart
hati
ts
yourfaul
ttheyt
ookhim Ideservet
oknowwhy.
Mike:Li
li
anther
earethi
ngsIcan'
ttel
lyou
aboutbutIwil
lbr
inghi
m home.
Me: Ohhmygod, thi
sagain?Youknowwhat
pleasebr
ingmybabyhomeandIswearaf ter
thatyouandIar edoneandIwantnot hingtodo
withyou,Icannotbei narel
ati
onshi
pwi th
someonewhodoesn' tknowthemeani ngof
honestandIdon' tknowwhoy ouareany more.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
any
oudon'
tmeant
hat
?
Me: Idoactual
ly
,I
'm sotir
edofyoubei
ng
secreti
veabouteveryt
hingandyouknowwhat
yourbrotherwasri
ghtabouty ou.
Mike:Don'tyoudarebr
ingKhayai
ntothis,
Lil
i
an
I
'm nosaintandmenott el
li
ngyousomeofmy
otherbussinessi
sbecauseIwantt
opr otect
you.
Me: Idon'
tneednofuckenprot
ect
ion,
i
sthi
s
yourkindofprot
ect
ionthatmychi
ldgetst
aken?
Mike:ofcausenot,
butIdon'
tknowwhat
shi
pmenti sthi
sbecuseal
lshi
pment
swere
del
iver
d.
Me:
Shi
pment
sofwhatexacl
tl
y?
Mi
ke:
Drugs
Me:WHAT!
!!
!!
!!
!!Youarei
nthedr
ugbussi
ness?
ohhmyGodwhoar eyou?
[
04/
27,
19:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT12
OhhmyGodIdonotbel iev
ethis,howdidhe
mov efr
om myMrper fectt ot
his?Iguesst hi
s
goestoshowthatInev eractuall
yknewhi mI
onlyknewwhathewant edmet oknowj ustli
ke
Khayasaid.
Att
hispointIdon' tcareabouthis
tr
uthwhatIwantismysonbackhome.
Me:Youknowwhat
?,keepy
ourt
rut
hIwantmy
son.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
andon'
tdot
his?
Me: Don'tdowhat?l
etyouli
veyourl
ifet
heway
youwant ?MikeInol
ongercaresowhatIneed
fr
om y ouisforyout
obringbackmysoninthe
nexttwohour sandyouandIaredone.
Il
efthi
m standi
ngthereandrantothe
bat
hroom andcri
ed,Ihonest
lydon'
tknowwhy
butsomet hingi nmewant edtowhal eoutal lmy
tearsanddi sappoint
menti nmyselff oronce
againchoosi ngawr ongguy .
Iwi
pemyt earsand
headedbackdownst airsandeveryonewasst il
l
thereandjessi cawasnowher eandt hatj ust
fuell
edupmyangerbecauseal lt
histimet hey
werepr et
endi ngtobef ami l
ytomebuti was
actuall
yaf ool andneitheroneofthem bot her
ed
totellmeaboutMi ke'sotheracti
vi
ties.
Jess:
HeyLi
l
yI'
m sor
ryaboutwhathappened.
Me:
Arey
ou?
Jess:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Me: Imeanmychildwasabduct
edbyyour
brot
hersdrugassoci
ateswhi
chyoual
lfor
gott
o
tel
lmeabout.
Vuyo:
WHAT! !
!!
!!
!!
!!
!,
youmeant
otel
lmet
hatmy
chi
l
distakenbydrugpeopl
e?
Jess:
Lil
i
ani
twasnotmypl
ace
Me:Yeahri
ght,
Mar
thapl
easepackt
heki
ds
cl
othes.
Jess:
Youmov
ingout
?
Vuyo:
Youdamnri
ghtshei
s,Ihav
enochi
ldof
minewhoi
sgoi
ngtostaywi
thaCRIMINAL.
Me:
Wenashut
upIcanspeakf
ormysel
f
Vuyo:Doyoureali
sethedangeryouputmy
chi
ldinwi
thyourshadyboyfri
end,
Ifsomet
hing
happenst
ohimi twil
lbeinyourhands.
Li
ndi
:Vuy
ost
opi
t,t
hati
snotf
air
Me:Nolethi
m speakhi
smi nd,
sothi
smakes
mehappy?Itmakesmehappyt hatmysoni
s
t
akenawayisthatwhatyousayi
ng?
Vuyo: Idon'
tcar
eaboutnothi
ng,
youbet
terpr
ay
thathecomesbackunhar med,y
ouknowwhat
may beIshouldtakemychil
dtoli
vewit
hme
from nowon.
Me:
Fuckt
hehel
lyounot,
thati
smychi
l
dand
y
ounott
aki
nghi
m any
wher
e.
Vuyo: Iwil
ll
etthecourtdecide,
Li
li
anfaceityou
areunf i
ttotakecareofhim.Youhavebeen
neglecti
nghimf ormonthsandnowheget s
ki
dnappedr ightunderyournoseandt heworse
ofitallyouareli
vingwit
hadr ugdealerwhat
happenswhenhecomesi ncontactwitht
he
drugs?
Lindi
: That
'senoughy out wo,yourchi
ldi
s
fuckenmi ssingandthet woofy ouarebusy
fi
ghtingov erstupi
dthings,shoul
dn'
thisr
etur
n
beapr i
ori
tyrightnowinsteadofthispet
ty
gamey ouplay i
ng?
Shewasr ightthiswasjuststupi
dandmay be
Vuyoi sr
ight,
i
fIwasn' twi
thMi ket
hiswoul dn'
t
havehappenedandwhathesai daboutt he
drugsactuall
yhithome, t
hisisnotthekindof
envir
onmentIwantt oexposemychi l
drent o.
I
wentbackupst airsandMar t
hawasal sodone
packingtheclothesincl
udingmine,
Ifelthersit
nextt
ome.
Martha:Iknowrightnowyouhurt
ingandwon't
beli
evemewhenIsayher eall
ylovesyou,yes
hehasav er
yfunnywayofshowingitbuthe
real
lydoes.
Me: I
sitenough?Ijustwantthetrut
hbuthe
keepslyi
ng.Ican'
tbeinarel
ationshi
pwit
h
someonewhodoesn' ttr
ustme.
Mart
ha:RemberwhatIt
oldy
ouwheny
out
wo
st
art
eddati
ng?
Me:YousaidIshoul
dbepat
ientwi
thhi
m and
t
hatloy
alt
ymat t
erst
ohim.
Mar
tha:
Didheev
ersayhewasasai
nt?
Me:
no
Mar t
ha:Thenwhyar eyouact
ingli
keheis,
you
saidhehasy ourl
oyalt
ybutfi
rstst
ri
keyourun
forthehil
l
s.
Me:
Thel
i
esma,
Idon'
tknowhi
m.
Mart
ha:
Youdo,hadhebeenhonestwi
thy
out
o
begi
nwit
hwoul
dy oust
il
lhav
elovedhi
m?
Me:
I'
m notsur
e
Mar t
ha:Lookmychildther
e'snothi
ngIdon'
t
knowaboutMzi wonkeincl
udingwhathappened
i
nSout hArabi
aandIwoul dlovetotel
lyoubut
I'
l
llethi
m betheonet odothat.
Me:
YouknowmaKhay
adi
ds.
..
Martha:Letmest opyourightthere,
theissue
betweenKhay aandMziwonker unsdeepand
don'tbecaughtinbetween.I
fy ouareleaving
MziwonkeletitbeyourdecisionnotKhay a
whisperi
ngeartrustmehedoesnotcar eabout
youallhecaresaboutishurti
ngMzi wonke.
Me: Thi
sist
oomuch,
Idon'
tthinkIam t
he
perf
ectwomanforMi
keIdon'thavethe
str
engthtodoi
t.
Shestandsupandsli
ght
lylaughsandleav
es
andthatdoesnotmakesensetomet ogether
wi
ththeconversat
ionwej
usthadwhydi
dshe
br
ingal
lthatup.
.
.
MikePOV
AfterIl etthehouseIdr ov
et othewar ehouse
andl ikeIknowal lshipmentswer edel i
v er
edt o
theirdest i
nedpeopl eandthiswasnotmaki ng
anysense, Ihavenev erhadincident sliket his
bef oreandt hehat eIsawi nLilian'sey es
conf ir
mst htshei sdonewi t
hme. YesImadea
mi stakebynott ell
ingheraboutt hedr ug
bussi nessbutIwasaf r
aidofthi s,IloveLi l
ian
andhadIt oldherev ery
thi
ngi nt hebegi nning
shewoul dn'thav eopenedher sel ftolov i
ng
me. It'
salready8pm andIst i
llhav enoI deawho
tookMnqobi andi fanythi
nghappensi f
any thinghappenst ohim Iwil
l nev erforgivemy
self.Myphoner i
ngst oanunkownnumberandI
picki tup.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
?
??:
Heybr
other,
I
'm out
sidey
ourwar
ehouse.
Me:
fuckof
fKhay
a
Khaya:Ohhno,Ihav
esomethi
ngfory
ouandi
ts
real
l
yinter
est
ingcomeandseeit
.
Hedr oppedt hecall
andIswearhispr
esencei
s
reall
yr ubbi
ngmet hewr ongway,
Iwal
ked
outsideandhewasst andigt
her
ecarr
yinga
sleepingMnqobi .
Me:
Yousonofa.
..
.
Khaya:
whoahhy ouar
eaboutt
oinsul
tyourown
mother
,thi
sisbi
g,
Me:
Youbast
ardwhatdi
dyoudot
ohi
m?
Khay
a:Not
hing,
chi
l
lmanher
etakehi
m.
ItookMnqobi
from hi
m andhewasdead
asleep.
Khay
a:Idi
dn'
thur
thi
m,I
justwant
edy
out
otel
l
y
ourgir
lf
ri
endaboutyourdr
ugl
i
fesi
nceshe
t
hinksy
ouareasaint
.
Me:Youar
esi
ck,whati
sitwi
thy
ourobsessi
on
ofr
uini
ngmyl
ife?
Khaya:l
etmesee,youtookmywomanfr
om me
andkil
l
edhersof orthatyouwi
l
lnev
erf
ind
peacewithmearound.
Idon' thaveti
met odealwi t
ht hi
srightnow I
willdeal wi
thhimlater.
IputMnqobi attheback
ofmycaranddr ovetothehouseandwhenI
goti nLil
ianrushedtowardsmeandt ook
Mnqobi awayf r
om myhandshuggi nghi m
ti
ght l
yandwhenIl ookedar oundVuy ohas
alreadyleftanditwasjustMamar thaandmy
sisterwithbagsnexttot hecouchIguessshe
reallymeantwhatshesai dearli
er.
Li
ly
:Mapl
easebr
ingt
het
winsdown.
iml
eav
ing
now.
Mamar
thal
eftandcamebackwi
tht
het
wins
andLili
antookherbagstothecarwit
houtev en
l
ookingatmeandIwasnotgoi ngt
osay
anythi
ng.Shecamebackandt ookt
het wins
becauseshehadal r
eadyputMnqobiinthecar
,sheclosedthedoorandthatwasi
tjustlike
thatIhavelosther.
Jess:
whywoul
dyoul
etherl
eav
eli
ket
hat
.?
Me:Idon'
tknow,
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osayt
o
her
.
Mar
tha:
Sheneedst
imet
ohersel
f,l
etherbe.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbei
nmyr
oom i
fany
oneneedme.
Martha:Mziwonkedon'tlethersl
ipthr
ough
yourhands,
shemi ghtcomebackt histi
me
becausethatgi
rll
ov esyoubutwhenshehas
hadenoughy ouwillnevergetherback.
Me:
Iknowma,
Iwi
l
lfi
xthi
s.
Martha:
Sheknowseveryt
hingnow,y
oujust
needtotal
ktoherandperhapst
alktoherabout
yourissuewithKhay
a,behonestwit
hher
thr
oughev ery
thi
ng.WhenItal
kedtoherearl
i
er
theissuewasnotwhatyoudoi twasyounot
beingtrut
hfult
oher.
Me:Li
li
anwil
lhat
emeafterexpl
aini
ng
ev
eryt
hingImi
ghtaswel
lsaygoodbyetoher
.
Martha:
(sli
ght
lyl
aughsandsmi
l
es)She'
s
st
rongerthanyout
hink
[
04/
27,
19:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT13
Li
l
il
an
(
fol
l
owi
ngday
)
IshouldfeelhappythatIleftimeanitwasmy
choicebutinsteadIfeelhorri
ble.
Hejuststood
thereandsaidnot hi
ngandIki ndofdidexpect
thatMikeisnott hebeggingtypebutitwould
havebeent ouchingifheshowedsomer eacti
on
.Aft
erIleftIdrovetomymot her
shouseand
gotthekidssettl
edi nandMnqobi wassti
ll
sl
eepingwhi chisweirdbecauseiti
snow
morningandhedi dn'
tevenwakeupduringthe
ni
ght.
Si
zwe:
Whaty
out
hinki
ngabout
?
It
urnaroundandhewasst
andi
ngr
ightnextt
o
mewithMnqobiinhi
sarms.
Me:Heybrot
her,
heybaby
(Ki
ssi
ngMnqobi
f
orehead)
Mnqobi
:I'
m hungr
yandt
ir
ed.
Me:
Tir
ed?
Nqobi
:MhhIpl
ayedal
otatschool
Thi
siswei
rdit'
sli
kehedoesn'tr
emember
any
thi
ngexceptbeingatday
care.
Me:
Fanawhopi
ckedy
ouupatday
car
e?
Nqobi
:Idon'
tknow,
Iwassl
eepi
ng
Me:Okay,
got akeoffy
ourpy
jamasandIwi
l
l
makeyoubreakfast
.
Hegotof
fSi
zweandr
anupst
air
s.
Si
zwe:
Whywoul
dyouaskhi
mthat
?
Me:
Not
hing,
shoul
dIal
somakey
oubr
eakf
ast
?
Si
zwe:
Siswhat
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Not
hingr
eal
l
ycany
oul
eti
tgo.
Si
zwe:OkaybutIcant
ell
youar
enotokayand
I
'm her
eify
ouwanttotal
k.
Me:
Yourgayt
endenci
esagai
n.
Si
zwe:(l
aughs)Li
tt
lesi
sIlovemesomehot
pussy,
there'
snot
hingwrongincomf
ort
ingmy
si
ster
.
Me:Ohhreal
l
y?HowcomeI
'
venev
erseeny
ou
wi
thagir
l?
Si
zwe:Idon'
tneedyouknowinghert
hat
'sal
l
,si
s
whathappenedbet
weeny ouandMike?
Me:Idon'
twanttot
alkabouti
tbecauseI
mysel
fcan'
tevenunder
standi
t.
(
Doorknock)
Si
zwe:
I'
ll
geti
t
HemadehiswaytothedoorandMnqobi
came
back,
Ipi
ckedhi
m upandplacedhi
m ont
he
count
erandhekeptr
ubbi
nghisarm.
Me:
What
'swr
ongwi
thy
ourar
m?
Nqobi
:I
tsi
tchy
Ilookedathisar
m anditwasr eddi
shandithad
asmal lhol
emoreli
keani nj
ectionhol
e,maybe
thatiswhyhewassleepingtheydruggedhim.
Si
zwe:
Vuy
oisher
e.
Nqobi
:Heydaddy
Vuy
o:Heyboy
(huggi
nghi
m)Youokay
?
Nqobi
:Yes
Si
zwe:
Inowdef
ini
tel
yknowsomet
hingi
sup
Vuy
o:Li
l
iancanwet
alkal
one?
Si
zwe:Tshanal
et'
sgoi
nthel
i
vingr
oom and
pl
aysomegame.
Theybot
hlef
tandIsatdownont
hechai
r
wait
ingf
orhi
mt ot
alk.
Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng
Vyou:I
'm sor
ryaboutwhatIsai
dlastni
ght,
You
areagreatmotherandIshoul
dn'
thaveinsul
ted
youli
kethat.
Me:
mhhokay
Vuy
o:Butst
il
l,
Idon'
twantmysonar
oundMi
ke
Me:Doy ouseeMikear
ound?Lookhewil
lnot
bearoundMikeokaysohewil
lbefi
ne.
Vuy
o:Youdonewi
thhi
m?
Me:
Idon'
tseehowt
hati
sanyofy
ourbusi
ness
Vuy
o:I
tismybusi
nessi
fiti
nvol
vesmyson.
Me:
Don'
tcomeher
eandactal
lmi
ght
ybecause
i
nmyey esyouar
ebotht
hesame,
CRI
MINALS
sost
opacti
ngli
kesomesav
edmanor
somet
hing.
Vuyo:Don'
tyoudar
ecompar
emewi
thhi
m,I
don'
tdodrugs.
Me:Right,
nowIr
emembery
ouar
ethe
f
raudster.
Vuyo:Li
li
anIam nottr
yingt
ofi
ghtwit
hyouit
s
j
ustthatyourchoi
ceofmanisnotr
eall
ygood.
.
Thi
smani
sreal
l
ytest
ingmypat
iencer
ightnow
.
Me:
Your
sel
fincl
udedr
ight
?
Vuy
o:I'
mt aki
nghi
m wi
thme,
I
'l
lbr
inghi
m on
Monday.
Me: Sur
e,canyouexcusemenowIneedt
o
checkonthetwins.
Il
eftandwenttomyroom andj
ustlai
donthe
bedstrol
l
ingonmyphoneandIkindoffel
tsad
,It
houghtmaybehewouldcall
ort
extbut
not
hingIguessmyleavi
ngisnotr
eall
y
bot
heri
nghim ormaybeInev
ermatter
edt
ohi
m.
Nandi
:Esheeepeopl
ear
ewaki
ngupwenay
ou
ar
esleepi
ng?
If
orgott
hatshewascomi
ng
Me:Hel
l
otoy out
oo,i
'm goodt
oot
hanksf
or
aski
ng(
Isatuponthebed)
Nandi
:Isawy
ourbabydaddyout
side.
Me:
Theyar
esomany,
whi
chone?
Nandi
:Youhav
ebeenahoemyf
ri
end,
Vuy
o.
Me:
Ohh
Nandi:
Yousounddisappoi
nted,
Whatwer
eyou
expect
ingKagi
so?
Me:
Hel
lno
Nandi
:Whyar
ey ouher
ewheny
oushoul
dbeat
yourman'
spl
ace?
Me:
There'
snot
hingwr
ongatbei
ngi
nmy
mot
her
shouse.
Nandi:Noti
fyoul
ookt
hathor
ri
ble,
what
happened?
Me:
I'
m donewi
thhi
m andt
hist
imef
orgood.
..
..
.
Itol
dherever
ythi
ngt
hathappenedandIknow
shewon'tbl
abtoany
oneaboutthi
s.
Me:
Youwon'
tsayany
thi
ng?
Nandi
:Saywhat
?Thatwhaty
oudoi
ngi
sri
ght
?
Me:
Whati
sthatsupposet
omean?
Nandi:
Lil
iandoyoureal
l
yknowwhatyouwant
i
nlif
e,becausef
rom whereI
'
m st
andi
ngyou
don'
tknow.
Me:
Excuseme?
Nnandi: Youalwaysdothi
s,whent hi
ngsget
toughy ourun.WhenyouandKagi soweregoi
ng
throughar oughpatchi
ny ourmarri
ageyouran
andf el
lintothehandsofVuyoinsteadoff
ixi
ng
yourmar riage,youar edoi ngthesamet hing
againt oMi ke.Whycan' ty ousi tdownandt alk
toyourpar tnerinsteadofal way srunni ngaway?
Hav i
ngmoneydoesn' tguar anteey ouhappi ness
,youhav eki dsthatneedst abil
ityandapl ace
tocal lhomenott hi smov ingar oundy ou
doing.Ther ear enosai ntsouther ey oushoul d
knowt hatbynow andev eryonehast heirflaws
youhav ey oursandnoonei sjudgingy oubased
ont hem. Di dyouev enl istent ohi sexpl anation
oryouj ustmadey ourownconcl usi ons
? (
standsup)Youknowwhaty ourpr oblem i s
,youl ackr espectandl oy alt
yt oMi ke, Yout alked
abouthi sbusinessi nf rontofVuy oandhi s
girl
fri
endandt hatpr oveshowmuchy oudon' t
respecty ourrelat
ionshi pwi thhi m andany thing
thatgoeswr ongy our un. Hav ey ouev er
wonder edwhyIdon' ttalkaboutmyr elati
onshi p
withLunga? ThatisbecauseIknowt hati t
sj ust
thet woofusi nar elati
onshi pnott hewhol e
communi ty.Growup, youar e43not12st op
act
ingli
keachil
dandify
ouloveMikeasy ou
sayyoudosti
ckbyhimthati
swhatloveis,i
t
hasnoboundri
esorl
imit
ati
onorexpectati
ons.
-
ShestandsupandleavesandIf
eel
mysel
f
bli
nki
ngv er
yfastt
ryi
ngtostopt
het
ear
sfr
om
fal
li
ng,wowIdidn'
texpectt
hat.
Nandi
:Youknow.
..
..
Il
ookatt
hedoorandshei
sst
andi
ngbyt
he
door
.
Nandi
:Ij
usthopehedoesn'
tcomebackrunni
ng
af
teryouli
kehealway
sdoesandactual
l
y
l
eavesyourass.
.
.
MI
KE
I
'vebeenst
arr
ingatmyphoneallmorni
ngI
don'
tknowwhetherIshoul
dcal
lherorsendher
atext,Ir eallymessedupandIneedt ofi
x
thi
ngswi thherImi ssheralr
eady
.Myt houghts
weredi stur bedbythesecur
it
ytel
l
ingmet hat
mypar ent swer ehereandIhadtosopday
dreaming, Imademywaydownst airsandt hey
werealr eadyt her
eandmybl oodjustboil
edat
thesightofKhay a.
Me:Motheri
fyoust
il
ll
ovey
oursony
oubet
ter
gethi
m outofmysi
ght.
Mom:Youwilldonosucht
hing,si
tdownIam
t
ir
edofthi
sfeudbetweeny
out oo.
Dad:
Sitdownnow
Isatdownont
hechai
rwhi
l
etheyset
tl
edf
ort
he
couch.
Dad:Thishasgoneforfartoolongandithas
wentupt oadanger
ousst agewher eki
dsare
i
nvolved,
Khayawhatyoudi dwaswr ongand
Mziwonkehaseveryri
ghtt oki
l
l youbuthewil
l
notdoso.
Khaya:
Asalwaysy
out
akehi
ssi
de,
hei
syour
fav
ouri
teson.
Dad:Thi
sisnotaboutsi
des,
i
t'saboutwhati
s
ri
ghtandwhatyoudidwaswrongfini
shand
cl
aar.
Mom: Andyoudidnotonlyhur
tMike,
Li
li
anal
so
suf
fer
edfrom t
his,
Jessi
casaystheboy
sfat
her
nowwantsful
lcustody.
Me:
(shocked)what?
??t
hehel
lhewi
l
l.
Khay
a:Whatdoy
oumean,
i
sn'
they
ourson?
Mom:
No,
Ihopey
ouhappywi
thy
oursel
f.
Khaya:YouknowwhatIam , especi
all
ybecause
Irui
nedt herelat
ionshi
pofy ourper
fectsonand
yetagaini'
mt hebadone, t
heuncontroll
able
onewhohasnor espect.
I'
mt ir
edofbothofy ou
alwayschoosinghim overme, whatdoIhav et
o
dotogetacknowl edgementasy oursonor
approval
?Itisnowapr oblem whenIinterf
ere
withhi
sr el
ati
onshipbutitwasnopr oblem
whenhet ookNosiphofrom me,
theonly
womanIhav eeverl
ovedandIhadt orespect
thei
rmarriageandwatchthi
sbastardr
aisemy
sonbecauset hetwoofyoucoul
dn'tst
andt o
seeyourpr eci
oussonhurt.
Me:
(conf
used)Wai
t,whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
?
Khay
a:Youhear
dmet
hatwasmychi
l
d.
Me:
(l
ooki
ngatmyparent
s)Tel
lmet
hatwhathe
i
ssayi
ngisnott
rue?
Mom:
Soni
twas.
..
.
Khaya:Asifthatwasnotenoughy
ouhadbot
h
ofthem ki
ll
edbyoneofy ourcr
imi
nal
associ
ates.
Me:Howmanyt i
mesmustIt
ell
yout
hatt
hey
di
edinacaracci
dent!
!!
!
Khaya:Ohhpleasethosearetheli
esyour
parent
swantedy outobeli
eve,Nosi
phowas
shotdeadint
heshowerandmysonwasshot
i
nthemout
hal
lbecauseofy
ourcr
imi
nal
doi
ngs.

[
04/
27,
19:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT14
Noheisly
ing,t
hiscannotbet r
ue.Il
ookat
mom anddadandt hei
rfacesarecri
ngedad
mom i
sont hevergeoftears.
Me:
Pleaset
ell
mewhathej
ustsai
disal
i
e?
Theybothl
ookdownandmyey
esr
oam ar
ound
them .
Khaya:
Itisal
ltrue,
youknewIloveNosi
phobut
youhadtosellheryourabst
ractdr
eamsand
shefel
lfort
hem ,thenyouki
ll
edherandmyson
.
Me:
Mom saysomet
hing?
?
Dad:
Sonwedi
dn'
twanty
out
o..
..
Me:
GETOUTALLOFYOU
Mom:
Mzi
w..
..
Me:
ISAI
DGETOUT
Imov
etot
hedoorandopenedi
t
Me:
Out
!!
!!
!!
Iwatchast heyl eav eandsomet hi
ngi nmepops
andi runt ot hefami lyr oom andIt akeall t
he
photosdowndest royingt hem exceptLi l
ians.I
don'tbelievet hi
smywhol eli
fewasal i
eandmy
parentsinitiatedt hatlie,Ial
way sknewmyson
l
ookedl ikeKhay abuti nmymi ndIal ways
thoughti t
'sbecauseKhay aismybr otherbutI
guesst hej okewasonmebecauset heyal l
knewexceptme, andt hef actthattheywer e
kil
ledbecauseofmei sj ustworsemay beit'
sa
goodt hingLi li
anl eftmeIwoul dneverbeabl e
toli
vewi t
hmysel fi
fanythi
ngeverhappenedt o
herorthekids.IwanttobemadbutIhav e
neverbeenthatkindofpersonwhocanexpr ess
hisemot i
onbutIam angrywithMom andright
nowIki ndofdofeelKhayaplaceofori
ginwith
hishateonme, Iwouldhatemet ooi
fIknew
aboutallthi
s.
(
phoner
ings)
Ihearmyphoner
ingi
ngandIansweri
twi
thout
l
ookingatt
hecal
l
er.
Me:
WHAT?
?
???
: I
sthathowy
ouanswery
ourphonet
hese
days?
Me:
Promi
se
Promise:Youknowanotherone,
tel
lyour
secur
ityguystoopenf
orme.
Me:
What
?Youher
e?
Pr
omi
se:
Ibel
i
eveso
Me:
okayt
hen.
Idroppedthecallandtol
dthesecurit
ytolether
i
n, Ir
eall
ycareaboutherbecauseshehelped
met hrougharoughpatchofmyl if
ebutit
wouldhav ebeenniceforhert
otellmebefore
shecameher eunannounced.Iheadbackdown
stair
sandpourmysel fsomev odkaIreal
ly
needone, t
herewasaknockont hedoorandI
wentt oopenit
Pr
omi
se:
Heyy
ou(
huggi
ng)
Me:
Hey,
howar
eyou?
Pr
omi
se:
Younotl
ett
ingmei
n?
Me:
Ohhsor
ry,
comei
n.
Imov
edandshecamei
nwi
thhersmal
lbag.
Pr
omi
se:
wher
eist
hel
adyoft
hehouse?
Me:That
'sal
ongst
ory,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
n
S.
A?
pr
omi
se:
Youdoknowt
hatI
'
m or
igi
nal
l
yfr
om
her
eri
ght
?,Icamet
ocheckonmyf
ri
end.
Me:
I'
m okay
Pr
omi
se:
Youdon'
tl
ookokaysowhat
'
sup?
Me:Well
Ijustf
oundoutt
hatmywhol
eli
fewas
al
ieandIlostmywoman.
Pr
omi
se:
(si
tsdown)
Lostherhow?
Me:
Liket
hat,
she'
sgone
Pr
omi
se:
Younotgoi
ngt
ofi
ghtt
ogetherback?
Me:Wit
hev eryfi
brei
nmybodyIwanttobut
af
terwhatIjustdi
scover
edmay
beit
'sbestshe
i
sawayf r
om me.
Pr
omi
se:
mhhhokay
.
.
(
WEEKLATER)
Li
l
ian
Thisweekwentbyr eall
ysl owIdon'tknow
whetherIwasst i
llshockedbyNandi '
soutburst
onmeort hefactthatMi kehasnotmade
contactwithmet oatleastcheckuponhi skids
i
fhedoesnotcar eaboutme. Ihav
et r
iedcall
ing
Nandi butshehasn'tpickedupandhonest l
y
whatshesai dtomewaski ndofhardt o
swallowbutit'
strue,Iam notsay i
ngI'm perf
ect
butIbelieveIhadar i
ghtt obeangrymyson
waski dnappedandany t
hingcouldhav e
happened.
Istandupfrom t
hebedbecausealt
houghIlov
e
l
ayinghereIhavetogetMnqobir
eadyfor
schoolandIhopethetwi
nsbehavetoday
becausetheyhavebeenwhi
ningthewhole
week.
IputmygownandheadtoMnqobi
'
sroom but
tomyshockhei
salr
eadywear
inghi
sclot
hes.
Me:
Didy
oubat
h?
Nqobi
:YesLumebat
hedme
Si
zwe:
Ithoughty
ouneededabr
eakf
orawhi
l
e.
Me:
(huggi
ng)Thanksbr
other
Sizwe:Nopr
obl
em,
fi
nishupy
ourbr
eakf
asti
s
ready.
What?hei
sreal
l
ybei
nganawesomebr
ori
ght
now
Sizwe:Buty
ouneedt
ofi
ndanannyIwon'
tdo
thisagai
n.
Me:mxm y
oujusthadtor
uint
hemoment,
you
t
aki
nghi
mt oschool?
Sizwe:Yep(babymoni
torgoesof
f)ohhwell
not
reall
ysaved,y
ourot
herpri
ckl
esneedyour
attent
ion.
Me:Ichosebei
ngamot
herandst
opcal
l
ingmy
babi
es"pri
ckl
es".
Si
zwe:
(l
aughs)t
heyt
oocut
e
Ilef
tthem t
hereandheadedtothetwinsandI
foundthem bothawake,It
ookthei
rbott
les
from t
hewar merandputthem i
nthemouths
buttheybothpushedthem away.
Bot
h:kj
dshsnn(
babyt
alk)
Me:
Goodt
hingIcan'
theary
ou(
Siy
acr
ies)
Real
ly?Thesetwoarespoi
led,Ipi
ckhim up
andtryt
ocalm hi
m dow"I'
m sorryke,please
cal
m downfanasmommydi dn'
tmeant hat"
Boom heisqui
ettal
kaboutbeingrot
ten .
Ifi
nal
lygotthem toeataft
ertal
ki
ngand
beggi
ngt hem,peopl
ehavealwayssaid
sometimesy ouneedtotal
ktokidsli
keadult
s
andIdisagreedbutIam tel
li
ngyouthesetwo
areabouttomakemer egr
etmywor ds.
Sizwehasal readylef
twit
hMnqobi andIhave
bathedt hetwinsandtheywentbackt o
Lalaland,Nowi t
'sti
metotakecareofmebut
al
l thatwasdi st
urbedbyaknockont hedoor
andIwenttoopenitwhilesti
l
l wear
ingmy
gownandhonestl
yI'm notinthemoodfor
peopl
eespeci
all
yher.
Me:
Mar
ia
Mari
a:Iknowy ouangrywi
thmebutdon'
tput
r
espectinyoursti
nki
ngbutt
.
Shepushedmeasideandgoti
nIswearone
dayIwil
lki
ll
thi
swoman,Mike'
smom is
fr
ustr
ati
ngsometi
mes.
Mar
ia:
Wher
ear
emygr
andki
ds?
Me:
Sleepi
ng
Mar
ia:
Isn'
tMnqobi
supposet
obei
nschool
?
Me:
Hei
s
Mari
a:Soaskaboutmygr
andki
dsandy
ou
excl
udehi
m,why?
Me:MapleaseIwaski
ndofbusywi
th
somet
hing.
Mar
ia:
What?Mopingaroundher
eact
ingl
i
ke
t
heworldr
evol
vesar
oundyou?
Okaycansomeonepleaseexpl
aint
ome, ist
his
montha"gooffonLili
anmonth"becauseIf
eel
l
ikeever
yonei
sattacki
ngme, i
twasfir
st
Nandi
,mybrot
herThembanowher .
Ij
ustl
ookedantherandf
oldedmyar
ms.
Mar
ia:
SitdownandIwi
llt
ell
youever
ythi
ngand
may
bey oucanst
opact
ingsochi
ldi
sh.
Me:
(SI
TTI
NGDOWN)
Maria:
LookMikei
sgoi
ngthr
oughsomet
hing
bignowandashiswomanIneedy
outobe
ther
eforhi
m.
Me:Thisi
sexactl
ywhyIlef
t,I
t'
sal
ways
somethi
ngbutIam nev
ertol
dwhatiti
s.
Mari
a:LookNosipho'
ssonwasactual
lyKhaya'
s
andhedidn'
tknowthatandwekindofli
edto
hi
m abouthowtheydied,
theydi
dnotdieina
caracci
dentt
heywereki
l
ledbyoneofMi
ke'
s
associ
atesi
nthedr
ugbusiness.
Me:
Youj
oki
ngr
ight
?
Mar
ia:
DoIl
ookl
i
keIam?
Me:Youj usttoldmehowhi swifediedbecause
ofhisdrugbusi nessandnowy ouwantmet o
bewit hhim soIcanputmyl if
et oget
herwit
h
myki dsindanger ?I
'm sorr
yIam notaboutt o
dothat,Iam r eal
l
ysorryaboutt hechil
dbutI
am notgoi ngbackt oMikeandt hisisnotabout
me,it'
saboutmyki dsIlovemyki dssomuchI
am notwi l
lingtoputtheirl
i
v esindanger.I
'm
sor
ry.
[
04/
27,
19:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.

I
NSERT15
Maria:
Iam notsay
inggobacktohi
mifyou
don'
twanttobutheispushi
ngusal
lawaywit
h
goodreasonsandyoutheonl
yonewhocanget
thr
oughtohim.
Me:
Idon'
tknow
Mari
a:Justf
ortherecor
d,Mikewoul
dneverdo
any
thi
ngtoputy ouandthekidsi
ndanger
.MnqobiwastakenbyKhaya.
Me:
(shocked)What
?Whywoul
dhedot
hat
?
Mar
ia:
Hesayshewant
edMi
ket
ocomecl
ean
t
oyouaboutt
hedr
ugs.
Me:Sotheyusemychi
l
dtoset
tl
ethei
rscor
es?
Thi
sissick.
Mari
a:Iknow andifeelresponsi
blef
oral
lthi
s
andMikereal
l
ylovesy ou.
Me:(r
oll
i
ngmyey es)Hehasafunnywayof
showi
ngit,
notoncedi
dhecall
tocheckonhi
s
ki
dsbuty ouknowi'
m cool
.
Mari
a:Hei
sjustst
ressed,
soar
eyougoi
ngt
o
seehi
m?
Me:
No
Maria:Whyareyousostubborn,webothknow
youloveMziwonke.Whycan'tyoubethe
support
ivewomanheneedsr ightnowinst
ead
ofplay
ingthi
spitypar
ty?
Me:(
snaps)f
inei
fitmakesy
ouhappyIwi
l
lgo
ov
erther
e.
Mar
ia:
Goodt
hen,
I
'l
lbaby
sitmygr
andbabi
es.
Me:Ididn'tsaynow,
Iwi
l
ltomor
rowor
something.
Mar
ia:
Ther
e'snot
imel
i
ket
hepr
esent
Me:
Wowokay
Iguesst
he" commandinggene"r
unsinthe
famil
ybecausesheisnotgivi
ngmeachoi cei
n
thi
smatter
.Istoodupandheadedupstai
rsand
gotmyselfcleanedandputonmyjean
j
umpsuitwithadeni mjacketandheadedback
downstai
rsandMar iawasl ay
ingbackonthe
couchandt hatj
ustmadememor eangry,
why
am Il
ist
eningtothiswoman?
Mar
ia:
Youl
ooksexy
Ij
ustgl
aredatherandshel
aughed.
Me:Ihaveal
readypr
epar
edt
heTwi
nsbot
tl
e,I
won'
ttakel
ong.
Mari
a:Li
li
any ouar
eawonderful
womanand
st
opdoubtingyour
sel
f,i
fany
onecanst
andby
Mikei
t'
syou
Me:
Sur
e
Maria:
HowIwishy ouandMikewer
emar r
iedI
wouldbefi
lt
hyrichwit
hyourmoneybecause
ofyourmouth.
Mxm Ijustwalkedoutwi
thoutansweri
ngher
becauseshereall
yisenj
oyi
ngthisandit
'sr
eall
y
notfunny.
Igotinmycaranddrovearoundfora
whil
ebef or
egoingt oMi ke'
splace,honestl
yIdo
notknowwhatt osayt ohi m butIgeti
tIhav et
o
bethecompassi onategirlf
ri
endifI'
m sti
llone.
I
pull
edupmycarout sideandgoti nandt ol
dthe
securi
tynottonotif
yhi m Idon'twanttof i
nd
him expect
ingme.
Iwalkedonthedoorandgoti nandboom a
womanwassi t
tingont hecouchwi t
hherlegs
onthecoffeetableandIknowIov er
eactedthe
l
asttimebecausei twasjusthisLesbianfri
end
butthi
sisdif
ferent,sheiswear i
nghisshir
tand
herhairpr
ett
ymucht el
lsital
l,somuchf orlov
e.
Hereyesquickl
ysawmeandshest oodupand
camemydi rect
ionandIsweari
t'
sgoingt
o
takealotf
ormenott osl
apthi
sbit
ch.
?
??:
YoumustbeLi
l
ian(
bri
ngshandf
orashake)
Me:
Andy
ouar
e?
Pr
omi
se:
Iseewenotshaki
ng,
I
'm pr
omi
se
Me:
Wher
eisMi
ke?
Promi
se:Taki
ngashower,
butheshoul
dbe
downsoon.
Wowt
hisr
eal
l
yhappeni
ng
Pr
omi
se:
Your
eal
l
yar
ebeut
if
ul
Me:
Exc.
..
.
AsIwast oanswerherMi kecamet hroughthe
stai
rswit
hnot hingbuthisshortsandhi sshock
toseemeconf i
rmedev er
y t
hingandIf el
tli
keI
wasloosingmybal anceandmyt earswer enear
,oureyeslockedandt her
ewasnodoubti n
them t
hathesl eptwi
thher.
Mi
ke:
LynnI.
..
.
Me:Ex
cuseme,
Icamet
ofet
cht
het
winsot
her
t
oys
Ipushedthisbit
chasideandheadedupt othe
nurser
yandal l
thetearsIwasholdi
ngback
camet r
ail
ingdown.Oneweekandheal ready
hasmov edon,wowsomuchf orarelat
ionshi
p
wehad. Idr
iedupmyt earsandst
art
edtaki
ng
thestupidt
oy sandIstoppedwhenIfel
thi
s
presenceatthedoor.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
ancanwet
alk?
Me:
About?
Itur
nedar
oundandheisf
ull
ydr
essednow,
I
don'
tknowwhatfor.
Mi
ke:
Whatj
usthappened.
Me:
Ihaveonl
yonequest
ionf
ory
ou,
Didy
ou
r
eal
l
ysleepwi
thher
?
Hewastr
yingtotal
kbutIguesshedidn'
tknow
whatt
osay,hest
art
edtobrushhishead.
Me:
Alr
ightt
hen,
ther
e'snot
hingt
otal
kabout
Mi
ke:
(gr
absmyhand)
Babyl
i
sten.
..
..
Me:
Gety
ourhandsof
fofmeandImeani
t.
Mi
ke:
(l
etsgo)
Itwasami
stake,
Ij
ust.
.
Me:
YouknowwhyIcameher
e?
Heshookhi
sheadno
Me: Icameher etoseehowy ouwer edoi
ng
becausey ourmot hertol
dmeev er
ythi
ng,Idi
dn'
t
wantt obuthereIam becauseIcar eaboutyou
andIal sothoughtyoudi dtoobutIguessIwas
wrong.Oneweekandy oureplacemej ustli
ke
thatletmenotgetst art
edony ounoteven
checkingupony ourkidsbutnowIcan
understandwhy .
Mi
ke:
Lynni
tdi
dn'
tmeanany
thi
ng.
Me:Igeti
tthough,I
tsmyfaul
tri
ght
?Ilef
tyou
andyoufel
taloneandneededsomecomfort
andshewasher eandIwasnot.
Mike:Thi
sisnoty
ourf
aul
t,
Iwasst
upi
dand
r
eckless.
Me: I
t'
scool,
Iwouldl
ikeyoutopl
easecome
vi
sityourki
dsonceinawhi l
ewhenyougeta
chancef r
om yourgi
rl
fri
end.
It
ookt
het
oysandheadedt
othedoorande
grabbedmywaist,Icl
osedmyey
est
ryi
ngt
o
contai
nyetot
hertears.
Me:
LetmegoMi
kepl
ease?
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
rybabypl
ease
Me:
Let.
..
..
go
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
19:
02]R:
15cont
inued
.
.
Myey esarestil
lclosedandmyt earsarereall
y
threat
hningtocomeout ,
Ifeelhi
swar m breath
againstmyneckasi tsendsshiversdownmy
spinebutI'
mt oohur ttoactonit.Ipull
mysel f
from andranoutheadi ngdownst air
sandf ora
mi nut
eIwantedt obeatt hehell
outoft hi
sbi t
ch
butIam notabouttoshowmyv ul
ner
abi
l
ityt
o
anotherwoman.Imightbebr
okenand
humili
atedbutist
il
lhavemypri
de.
Pr
omi
se:
Itwasni
cemeet
ingy
ou
Wheewtheheavensarereal
lytest
ingme,Ij
ust
l
ookedatherandlef
t.
Thewal ktomycar
seemedtobelongbecausemyl egswer
e
fai
li
ngmeandoneoft hesecuri
tymancame
myway.
Hi
m:Bossl
adyar
eyouokay
?
Me:
mhhhhIam,
it'
sfi
ne.
Iwalki
ntomycaranddr
ovest
rai
ghthomeIj
ust
needtobesadal
lbymysel
fandcryti
l
lIf
eel
bett
er.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
anwhat
'swr
ong.
?
Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
seIwasst
il
lst
andi
ngatt
he
door
.
Me:
Yoursoni
sfi
ne,
i
nfacthei
sdoi
ngamazi
ng
y
oucangocheckfory
oursel
fandy
ouwi
l
lmeet
y
ournewdaught
erinl
aw.
Mar
ia:
Comeagai
n!!
!
Me: Youheardme,yoursonhasmov edonwi
th
hisli
fewhichpr
ett
ymuchsay sther
e'sno
reasonforyout
obeher eal
so.
Mar
ia:
Hashegonecr
azy
(shout
s)?
Me:
Notatal
l
,hej
ustwant
edsomet
hingbet
ter
.
Mar
ia:
Youokay
?
Me:Ihavetobe,
Ihav
eki
dswhoneedmy
at
tenti
onandbei
nginmyfeel
i
ngsr
ightnow
won'thel
p.
Mar
ia:Il
ovemysonbutr
ightnowhei
sact
inga
f
oolandyouknowi
t'
sti
meIf i
xit
.
Me:It
'sfi
nel
etmegoplaywit
hmybabi
es,
I
knowtheywi
llmakemefeel
bett
er.
Mar
ia:
(t
akesherbag)I
'
llcomecheckupony
ou
Ij
ustnoddedmyheadandshewal kedoutand
i
tisnowt hatIrealisethatthisisreall
y
happeningandt here'
snot hi
ngIcandoabout
i
t.YouknowwhenIcheat edonKagi soIdidn'
t
underst
andhispai nnordi dIthinkoft he
consequencesofmyact i
onsonhi m butr i
ght
nowIgeti t,
Iguessi t'
struewhatt hey
say"Kar
mai sabi tch"andI '
mf aci
ngmy
demonsr i
ghtnow.
Itakeoffmyshoesandheadt omybabi esand
playi
ngwi ththem calmsmedownbutmostof
alli
tmakesmehappy, Theyareget t
ingbi gger
andthatj ustr
emi ndsmet hatIneedt oget
them newcl othesandintwoweeksmar ks5
mont hssincet heywerebornandt heyhav eto
bechr i
stened. Mymom alway ssaidinour
famil
ywedot hechri
steni
ngat5mont hsandI
thoughtshewoul dbehereforitbutGodhad
otherplans,Ireall
ymissherespeciallyatt i
mes
l
ikethesebutIam agr ownwomanIwi llhaveto
f
acet
hisal
one,
_
___
___
___
"
Wakeup"
Iopenmyey esslowl
yandfi
ndSizweshaking
me,Irubmyey esbutmymindquickl
ygoesto
thetwi
nsandIguessSizwecoul
dseet he
worri
edlookonme.
Si
zwe:Theydownst
air
spl
ayi
ngwi
tht
hei
r
br
other
.
Me:
Kant
iwhatt
imei
sit
?Whendi
dyougetback
?
Si
zwe:
7pm
Me:What?
??Isl
eptf
ort
hatl
ong,
mybabi
es
mustmehungr
y.
Isai
dget
ti
ngoutoft
hebedandhesatmeback
down.
Sizwe:Rel
ax,t
heyareal
readyfedandbat
hed
fortheni
ght.
(I
lookathi
m)Icamebackaround
12t oi
ntr
oducemygirlf
ri
endtoy ousinceyou
i
nsisti
'm gayandIf
oundy ousleepi
ngwi t
hthe
twinsontopofyoualsosl
eeping,soItook
them t
otheircot
sandwalaaa.
Me:
ThanksIguessIwasr
eal
l
yti
red
Si
zwe:
Bei
ngt
ir
edmakesy
oucr
y?
Me:
What
?No
Sizwe:Thenwhydoy
ouhav
edr
iedt
rai
l
sof
tears?
Me: Soletmefixmysel
fandgetr
eadyt
omeet
yourgir
lfr
iend.
Ist
oodupandwentt
ofi
xmyf
acei
nthemi
rr
or.
Si
zwe:
Lil
i
anwhati
sgoi
ngon?
Me:Wai
t,
am Isupposet
oli
keherbecauseshe
hel
pedy
ououtwi t
htheki
dsandcooked?
Si
zwe:
Pret
tymuch,
nowanswermyquest
ion.
Me:
MikeandIar
edone,
sot
hat
'
swhyIam sad.
Hejustl
ooksatmel
i
kehei
swai
ti
ngf
ormet
o
sayI'
m pl
ayi
ng.
Si
zwe:
Youser
ious?
Me:MhhandIdonotwantt
ogeti
ntot
he
det
ail
s.
Si
zwe:
Okayl
et'
sgodownt
hen.
Heputshishandonmyneckandwewal k
downstai
rs,
thi
siswhyIr eal
lywishhewasgay
becausehewouldbemybestbuddyandI
wouldtal
ktohim aboutevery
thi
ngbutonce
againGodwasnotonmysi deonthisone.
Asweareabouttogodownont hest
air
sI
cat
chagli
mpseofthewomanandi nshockI
pul
lhi
m backbef
oreshenot
icesus.
Si
zwe:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
Tel
lthati
snoty
ourgi
rl
fr
iend,
please?
Si
zwe:
Wel
lshei
s,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
TUMImyt
her
api
sti
syourgi
rl
fr
iend?
[
04/
27,
19:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT16
Si
zwe:
Yourt
her
api
st!
!
Me:
Yess,
thi
sisr
eal
l
ynotni
ce.
Sizwe:I
t'
scoolact
ual
ly
,noneedforweir
d
i
nt r
oduct
ionspl
usyoumightj
ustnotpayfor
yoursessi
ons.
Me:
Ahhht
hisi
snotf
unny
.
Si
zwe:
Let
'sgobef
oreshehear
suswhi
sper
ing.
Hewal
kfi
rstandIwasbehi
ndhi
m.
Si
zwe:
Babyt
hisi
smysi
ster.
..
Tumi
:
(shocked)Li
l
ian!
!
Me:
Int
hef
lash,
Hi.
Si
zwe:
Wel
lbecausey
oual
readyknoweach
ot
hert
her
e'snot
hingt
obeaddedr
ight
?
Tumi:
Wowsohei
syourbr
other
,t
hisi
s
awkward.
Me:Yep,
i
tisformet
oobutI
'
m gl
adhei
snot
wi
thsometramp.
Si
zwe:Wowy
oucoul
dpr
etendl
i
key
oubei
ng
ni
ce.
Me:ButIam bei
ngnice,
(t
oMnqobi
)Fanasy
ou
di
dn'
tmissmet oday
?
Honestl
yIdon'
tknowwhatmor etosaysoi
'
ll
j
ustconcent
rat
eonmyki ds.
Mnqobicame
r
unningtomeandIpickedhim up.
Mnqobi
:Idi
d,
buty
ouwer
esl
eepi
ng.
Me:
Youal
lar
eget
ti
ngheav
y,why
?
Mnqobi
:I'
m amannow,
Ihav
eagi
rl
fr
iend.
Me:
(coughs)Youhav
eawhat
?
Mnqobi
:Agi
rl
fr
iendmom,
j
ustl
i
key
ouanduncl
e
Mi
ke.
Me:
ohhokay
,howol
dar
eyouagai
n?
Mnqobi
:5andhal
f.
Me:Andyounotal
l
owedt
ohav
eagi
rl
fr
iend
unt
ily
ou30.
Si
zwe:
Ahhy
ouki
l
li
ngt
heki
d
Igi
vehi
m ast
ankeyeandhequickl
ygr
insand
Tumil
aughs,
maybethi
sisnotsobad.
Mnqobi
:Butmom.
..
Me:
Butnot
hing.
Iputhim downandhewentbacktohistoy
s
andimmedi at
elyNeliwant
edmyat
tenti
onalso
soIalsohadtot akeher.
Tumi
:Shal
lIdi
shup?
Me:
Sur
e,I
'
m st
arv
ing.
Sizwe:YouknowSi
yai
sal
sogoi
ngt
ocr
yfor
youtoo.
Me:Ohht
rustmewhenhei
swi
thMnqobi
hei
s
f
ine.
Isatdownandpl
acedNel
ionmyl
apandshe
star
tedpl
ayi
ngwi
thmyhands.
Me:
Sohowl
onghav
eyout
wobeendat
ing?
Iwatchastheybot hlookedateachot herli
ke
theyar
eabouttot hrowabombatme, and
somehowIsmi ledatt hei
rint
eractionbecause
thatwaswhatlovei ssupposetof eell
ikenot
mykindoflovethatIhav eexperienced.
Nel
i
:Ma.
..
..
ma
Me:hel
lobabygi
rl
(ki
ssi
nghercheeks)Soy
ou
notgoi
ngtoanswerme?
Sizwe:Don'
tbeadivapl
ease,wehav
ebeen
toget
herfor2year
s8mont hs.
Me:What??andyounev
ert
houghtof
i
ntr
oduci
nghertous?
Tumi
:Thi
ngi
swewant
edi
ttobei
nti
mat
eunt
il
wewerer
eadyandt
imewentbywi
thoutus
ev
enknowing.
Me:
Wow,
Idon'
tbel
i
evet
his.
Si
zwe:
Dramat
endenci
es
Me: Mxm ,
whatyoutwogi
vethetwinsbecause
theydon'
tl
ookli
ketheyar
egoingtosleep
anyti
mesoon.
Tumi:
Theyjusteat
ensot
heyshoul
dgot
o
sl
eepsoon.
Me:Mnqobi
comeandeat
,Tumi
cany
ouhol
d
herwhi
l
eIgett
hei
rpr
am.
Tumi
:Sur
e
Itri
edgivi
ngNelit
oTumi butshehel
dontome
fordearl
ifeandTumi endedupbeingtheone
whobr i
ngsthepram andplacedSiyai
nitwit
h
hisbott
lewhil
emi sscli
ngywasstil
lonmylap.
Tumi
:Youar
eamazi
ngwi
tht
hem.
Me:
Thanks,
wai
tti
l
lal
lthr
eeoft
hem wantmy
at
tent
ion,
i
tsamess.
Mnqobi
:Mom Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Okay
,noweaty
ourv
eggi
es.
Si
zwe:
Atl
easty
out
ri
edt
shana.
Me:
Don'
tencour
agehi
m.
Tumi:I
tsf
unnyhowt
heyal
lhat
eveggi
esatt
hat
age.
Me:
AndIst
il
lhav
etwomor
etogo.
Mnqobi
:Mom whenar
ewegoi
ngbackt
othe
bi
ghouse?
OhhshitheistalkingaboutMike'
shouseand
honestl
yIhadn'ttoldhim weweregoi
ngtoli
ve
herenowandt hel astthi
ngIneededt
otal
k
aboutri
ghtnowi sMi ke.
Me:
mhhhbaby
,wear
egoi
ngt
oli
veher
enow.
Mnqobi
:ButIli
kei
tther
e,Iwantt
ogobackt
o
uncl
eMike!
!!
Me:
MnqobiI
'
m noti
nthemoodf
ory
our
t
ant
rums.
Hegetsoffthechai
randrunsoffupst
air
s,I
guesst
hisiswhatnandimeantbystabl
ehome.
Si
zwe:
Hei
sreal
l
yangr
y.
Me:
Hewi
l
lbef
ine
Si
zwe:
Whatr
eal
l
yhappened?
Me:Isai
dIdon'
twantt
otal
kabouti
tokay
,l
et'
s
l
eav
ei tt
her
e.
Si
zwe:
Lookatt
hat
,i
tsaf
fect
ingy
ourki
ds.
Me:Iknow,I
'
lldeal
withit.
I'
vel
ostmyappet i
teI
wil
lj
ustputt
het wi
nstosleept
hem I'
m also
goi
ngtobed.Tumithefoodwasnicethankyou.
Tumi
:I
tsapl
easur
e.
.
.
(
fol
l
owi
ngmor
ning)
Mi
ke
Ihonest lyhav enoonet oblamebutmef orthi
s
,whathappenedbet weenmeandpr omi sewas
ami stakeofwhi chIdeepl yregretandseei ng
thehur tinLi l
lian'
sey esbr okeme, andmenot
contact i
ngorseei nghertheent i
reweeki snot
thatIdon' twantt obutsheneedsherspacet o
thinkev erythingt hrough.Ihaveameet ingt oday
andaf tert hatI '
m goingtoseeLi li
ani nhopes
thatshewi llbewi l
li
ngtoseeme. Iwalkdown
stair
sandagai nhereisPr omisepract i
cal l
y
nakedIt hinkitst i
meshel eavesnowbecause
weagr eedt hatwasami stakebutt hewayshe
i
sact ing, don'tgetmewr ongshei sani cel ady
tolookatbutshei snotLi l
ian.
Me:
Mor
ning
Pr
omi
se:
Hey
,youl
ookdappert
oday
.
Me:What
'sal
lthi
s?
Pr
omi
se:
Breakf
ast
.
Me:
Icansee,
wet
alkedaboutt
hisandnow?
Promise:OhhcomeonMi kewejusthav
ingfun
that
'sall
,
besidesYourpr
eci
ousLynndoesn'
t
evenwanty ou.
Me:
Youknowt
hat
'si
t,It
hinki
tst
imey
oul
eav
e.
Pr
omi
se:
What
??Youki
cki
ngmeout
?
Me:Yes,
i
fyoucan'
tsti
cktoouragr
eementt
hen
youl
eavemenochoice.
Pr
omi
se:
Youdon'
twantt
odot
hat
.
Me:
Andwhyt
hehel
lnot
?
Promise:
Youdon'
twantany
oneknowi
ngwhat
happenedtoy
ounow,doyou?
Me:
Isweari
fyoudar
eI'
l
lki
l
lyoumysel
f.
Promi
se:I
tdoesn'
tevenhav
etobel
i
ket
hat,
you
andIcanbegoodtoget
her.
Me:
Youi
nsane.
Shewasaboutt
osaysomet
hingwhent
hedoor
swingopenandmymothercamebusti
ngi
n,
I
real
lyneedt
ochanget
hesecuri
tyt
eam.
Mother
: I
sthi
swhyy
oudon'
tseey
ourki
ds
any
mor e?
Me:
Mapl
ease,
cany
oust
opshout
ing.
ShequicklylooksatPromiseandthel
ookon
herf
acet ell
smeshe' sabouttodosomethi
ng
andIquicklystandinfr
ontofher.
Mother:Ohhsoyouprot
ect
inghernow,
whydo
youinsi
stonhur
tingt
hepoorgir
l.
?
Me:Promi
segoupst
air
spl
easeorshewi
l
lki
l
l
you.
Shel
eav
esandahotsl
apr
eachesmyf
ace.
Me:
Thatneedst
ost
op.
Mother
:I'
myourmot
heryouar
enotgoi
ngt
o
t
ell
mewhatiswrongandwhati
snot.
Me:Thesamemot
herwhol
i
edt
omeal
lthese
year
s.
Mother:
Sowhat?Youaregoingtousethatas
anexcusef
ort
hisbehav
iourofyour
s.?
Me:
That
'snotwhatI
'
m say
ing.
Mother:
I'
veneverseenherthathur
t,
toapoi
nt
whereshestar
tssayingposi
ti
vethi
ngsabout
whatyoudid.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Mother:
shesay syouhappyandyoul
iv
ingyour
l
ifeandthatsheishappyfory
ou,
doesthat
soundli
keLili
antoyou?
Me:
May
bei
tsf
ort
hebestmot
her
.
Mother:
Forthebestmyfoot,
yout
hinkthat
skankupst
air
sisworthyofbei
ngpartofthi
s
famil
y?
Me:No,butmom Ilov
eLi l
ianandhersafety
meansev er
ythi
ngtome,andi fIhadanyt
hingt
o
dowithherbeinghur
tIwoul dneverfor
giv
emy
sel
f.Idon'
twanttherepeatofNosipho.
Mot
her
:Thenl
eav
ethedr
ugbusi
ness.
Me:Youknowit
snotthatsi
mpl
e,t
hedealIhad
wi
thWalkeri
sfor10y
earsandIst
il
lhav
etwo
t
ogo.
Mot
her
:Hewi
l
lnotki
l
lyoui
fyoust
op.
Me: Youri
ghthewon'tbuthewon'
thesi
tat
e
ki
ll
i
ngev eryoneIl
ove,soIneedt
oholdmyend
ofthebargain.
Mot
her
:If
eel
sor
esponsi
blef
ort
his.
Me:Don'
t,I
'
m gladIwasabl
etosavemysi st
ers
l
if
eeventhoughIdon'
tl
iket
heconsequences
now.
Mother:Okayfi
ne,
Idon'
tknowhowthi
swil
lgo
becauseLil
ianswear
ssheisdonewit
hyou.
Me:AndIknowshemeansitandIguessI
'l
lj
ust
l
ethergobecauseI
'
m notcompromi
singher
saf
etyandtheki
ds.
Mot
her
:Gett
hatugl
ybi
tchoutofher
e.
Me:
Language!
!
Mot
her
:Mxm ,
I
'l
lseey
oul
atert
hen.
Me:Al
ri
ght,
l
et'
swalkoutt
oget
herI
'
m al
so
l
eav
ingforameet
ing.
Webot hlef tandIwenttomymeet i
ngandwent
strai
ghttoLi l
li
an'
shousebutshewasnott her
e
,therewasanannyandshesai dshewentt o
theoffi
cesor i
ghtnowI '
m chil
li
ngwi thmy
babieswhi l
ewai t
ingforher.Imissedt hem so
muchbutt heyaregetti
ngbigger.Iheardacar
parkoutsideandIknewi twasherIj usthope
shedoesn' tkil
lme.Iplacethekidsont hepram
andshecomesi nandshequi ckl
yspot smeand
there'
sasadgr i
nonherf ace.
Li
l
y:Hi
Me:
Hey
Shecomest othetwinsandkissesthei
r
for
eheadbutNelij
unglesherhandsupand
Lil
i
anpickedherup,t
alkaboutbeingaMommy
's
gi
rl
.
Li
ly:
(pl
ayingwi
thNeli
)Youmi ssedmommy
babygi
rl
,Huhh?
(shegi
ggles)
Me:
Canwet
alk?
Li
l
y:Di
dn'
tyoucomet
oseet
heki
ds?
Me:
Idi
dbu.
..
.
Li
l
y:Keepi
tthatwayt
hen.
Whoahhsher eallymeansbusi ness,Il
ookather
andshecont i
nuest oplaywiththetwinspay ing
nomi ndtome. Youknowwhatt hat'
sit,Icall
ed
thenannydownt otakethekidsandshel ooked
readytokil
lme, andwithouthernot i
cingI
pickedherupput t
ingheronmyshoul derand
shekeptfight
ingme, Iwalkedtoherroom and
l
ockedandsatherdown.
Li
l
y:Opent
hatdoor
!!
!(
shout
s)
Me:Idon'
tknowwhoy
oushout
ingatbutI
knowit
snotme.
Shel
ooksr
eal
l
yreadyt
oki
l
lmenow.
Me: LookI'
m goingtobehonestwithyounow
aboutev er
ythi
ngbutletmefi
rstsayI'
m sorr
y
forhurt
ingy outhewayIhur
tyouy est
erday
.
Li
ly:Stopther
e'snoneedf oral
lofthis,
youand
IaredonesoIdon'tneedt oknowy our
businessandyourmot herhasalr
eadytoldme
aboutNosiphoandy oursonandal soabout
Mnqobi socall
edKidnapping.
Me: Listentome, Idon'tli
kethatI 'm doingdrugs
butIhav enochoi ce.Looky earsagoJessi cagot
i
nt oacaracci dentwhi chr upturedherl eft
kidneybutt hatwasnotonl ythepr oblem ,her
ri
ghtki dneywasal sonotwor kingmeani ngshe
neededaki dneytransplantandamongstusno
onewasamat chandshewasr eall
ysickand
themedi cat
ionwasnothel ping. Thelistwas
toolongandchancesofhersur viv
ingwer esli
m
soIdi dt heonlythi
ngpossi bleIboughtaki dney
throught hebackMar ketandi tcamewi th
condi
ti
ons,whichiswherethedrugscamef rom
.Ihadtotr
ansportthesedrugsfor10yearsand
IdidwhatIneededtodot osavemysister.Onl
y
mymot herknowsaboutthisevenJessica
doesn'
tknow.
Nowt ot hereasonwhyI '
vebeenignori
ng,Af
ter
fi
ndingoutwhathappenedt oNosiphoIdon'
t
wantt hesamet hinghappeningtoyouandthe
ki
dst hatiswhyIt hi
nkIneedt okeepmy
di
stancef rom youguys.
Ther
e,thati
sthewholet
rut
haboutmyl i
fe,
my
busi
nessesandever
ythi
ngthatent
ail
smyli
fe.
[
04/
27,
19:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT17
Shelookedatmewi
thwonder
ingey
esandI
knowshehasalott
osay.
Li
l
y:Soy
oudi
dal
lthatt
osav
eJessi
ca?
Me:Yeah,Li
l
ianthi
sdrugbusi
nessgoesagainst
ever
ythi
ngIbel
ievei
n.Idon'
tl
ikei
tbutIhav
et o
putupwithi
t.
Li
l
y:Nosi
pho'sdeat
histheonl
yinci
dentt
hat
ev
erhappenedbecauseoft
hedrugs.
?
Me:
Yes
Li
l
y:Youl
ovedherdi
dn'
tyou?
Sher ai
sedhereyebrowswaiti
ngformy
response,Idon'
tknowwher et
hisisgoi
ng
becauseshehasnev eraskedmeabout
Nosiphobef or
ebutIdidsayI'
m goingt
obe
honestwithher.
Me:Idi
d,v
erymuchso.
Shewast
heper
fect
womanformeand.
..
.
Theminut
eIsaid"
per
fectf
orme"Isawher
whol
efacechangi
ng.
Me:
Don'
tdot
hat
,y
esshewasandshewast
he
obedientty
pet hatl
ivedtomakemehappybut
youLy nnaremysoul mateevenifyoudon' t
knowi tyet
.Webot hhav eimper
fectionsbut
perf
ecttogether,Il
ov ehowwef ightforourlove
i
tkeepsmeonmyt oesandhowy ouchallenge
ever
ything,youdon'tjustagr
eewi t
hmef orthe
sakeofmaki ngmef eelMascul
ineormanof
thehouse.
Li
ly
:(cl
ear
st hr
oat)Soul
mateshuhh?Dot
hey
hur
teachotherli
kewedoeachother?
Me:Pr
obablynot,butwehumanandweal
l
makemistakesbutwhat'
smorei
mport
anti
s
t
hatwelearnfrom t
hem.
Li
l
y:Li
key
ousl
eepi
ngwi
tht
hathoe?
Me:
Thatwast
hebi
ggestmi
stake,
Iapol
ogi
ze
f
ori
t.
Shest
andsupandstandsi
nfr
ontoft
hemi
rr
or
l
ooki
ngatmethroughit
.
Li
l
y:(
smi
rks)"
Youapol
ogi
ze"j
ustl
i
ket
hat
,soi
fI
sl
eptwit
hanothermanand"
Apol
ogi
ze"al
lwi
l
l
bewell
right
?
Me:
That
'snotwhatI
'
m say
ing.
..
.
Lil
y:Thenwhatareyousaying.
..
YouknowI 'm
notevenangryatthef
actthatyoufuckedher
,whathurtsmemostisthatitdi
dn'
tev entake
youaweekt orepl
acemelikeIwasnot hing
(wipestear
s)
Istoodupandwentnextt
oherandshet
urned
around,wenowf
acingeachot
herfewi
nches
apart.
Me: Iam sor
ryt
hatImadeyouf
eell
iket
hat,
I
nevermeantforanyoft
hatt
ohappenbabyy
ou
aretheonlywomanIwant.
Li
ly
:Thi
srelat
ionshipi
stoxi
canditwil
lneverbe
nor
malbecauseev ennowI'
m notsur
ey ou
bei
nghonestwithme.
Me:
BabyIam ,
youknowev
ery
thi
ngnowand
t
her
earenosecr
etsnow,
whatIwanti
sforus
t
obui
l
dourownandbehappyt
oget
her
.
Li
ly:
Wel l
thatshi
phassai
l
ed,
Ist
ickbymy
deci
sion.
Me:Comewit
hmeIwantt
otakey
ou
somewher
e.
Li
l
y:Mi
kepl
easeIj
ustwantt
orestokay
.
Me:
PleaseIwon'
tasky
ouany
thi
ngaf
tert
his.
Li
l
y:(
sighs)Fi
newher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Me:
Comeonl
et'
sgo
Igr
abbedherhandandweheadeddownstairs
andwefoundthenannywi
thMnqobiandhe
camerunni
ngtomeandIpickedhi
m up,Ireal
ly
messedup.
Mnqobi
:Uncl
ecanIgot
othebi
ghousewi
th
you?
Li
l
y:Mnqobi
!!
Mnqobi
:Soam Icomi
ng?
Li
l
y:Soy
oust
il
li
gnor
ingme?
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Li
l
y:I
'
llt
ell
youabouti
tlat
er.
Me:Ineedtotakey
ourmot hersomewher
ebutI
pr
omisethatwhenIgetbackwewi l
lgotothe
bi
ghouse.
Li
l
ianl
ookedatmebutI
'
m notaboutt
oar
gue
wi
thherr
ightnow.
.
.
Li
l
ian
Wegoti ntothecarandhonest l
yI '
m not
i
nterestedinallt
hisbutI'
ll
playalong. Yeshis
explanati
onaboutdrugsisunder standablebut
i
tst i
ll
doesn'tchangemyconcer nsnordoesi t
erasethefactthathesleptwithanot herwoman
.IloveMikeIreall
ydoandaf terKagi soIdidn'
t
thi
nkIwoul dloveagainbuthepr ovedme
wrongandIwashappywi t
hhi mforawhilebut
nowitsi
ntoxi
cat
ingbeingwithhi
m. Il
eanbythe
windowlooki
ngoutsi
dewhileheisdri
vingto
Godknowswhere.
Mi
ke:
Imi
ssy
ou
Hesai
dtouchi
ngmyhandandIremai
nedint
he
sameposi
ti
on,madenor
emarksnormovement
.
Trut
hi sImi
sshimtoo,Imissusbutwithout
thebaggageandhonestl
ytheideaofhi
m wi t
h
anotherwomanmakesmecr i
ngeespecial
l
y
becauseshe'
smorebeautif
ulandsexythanI
am ,
may behereal
l
yenjoyedhimsel
f.
Mi
ke:
Itwashor
ri
blebecausei
twasnoty
ou.
Me:
(bl
i
nksey
es)Whatwas?
Mi
ke:
Thesex
.
Howt
hehel
ldi
dheknowwhatIwast
hinki
ng.
Me:Mikeplease,Idon'
twanttoheardet
ail
sof
youandyourlover,i
nfactwhenarewearri
vi
ng
t
owher
everwear
egoi
ng?
Hest
opst
hecari
nfr
ontofsomedeser
tedar
ea.
Mi
ke:
Weher
e,putont
hese.
Hegi
vesmemysneaker
s.
Me:Mzi
wonkeI'
m notpl
ayi
ngwi
thy
ou,
what
ar
ewedoingher
e.?
Mi
ke:
Youst
art
ingnow.
.
Ifor
gothehatest
henamebuti
tshi
sanyway
andbecauseIwantt
oannoyhi
mtodayI
'
llkeep
call
i
ngli
kethat.
Iputonthesneaker
sandhecomesandopens
thedoorformeandIwalkout
.Thi
spl
acel
ooks
l
ikeanoldparkorsomet
hing.
Mike:
Wear egoi
ngupt here(Hepoi
ntsata
smallmount
ainbutst
il
litsanuphil
l
)
Me:
Youandwho?I
'
m notdoi
ngt
hat.
Mi
ke:
Okay
.
Iwatchashestart
swalkingawayfr
om me
*whatthehel
l*Iwai
tforhimtotur
nbackbuthe
doesn'
thekeepsonwal ki
ngandheisalmostat
thetopofthi
ssmallmountai
nandI'm sti
l
l
standi
ngwherehelef
tmeandhet ookt hecar
keys.
It
sbeen30mi nutesnowandhest i
ll hasn' t
comeback, Icanact uall
yseehimf rom af ar.I
don'twhat'
st hebi gdealaboutthispl aceand
honestl
ybeingdownher ealoneiscr eepybut
doeshecar e?Ofcausenot. Istartwal ki
ng
slowlyandI'
m al r
eadyhal fwayt othet opbut
I'
mt i
redasf uck,itdoesn'tl
ookt hisst eepf r
om
thecar,af
terahar dsweatfornot hingbyt he
wayIf i
nall
yreacht hetopandthispi gi slaying
downohhi sbackr elaxi
ngandt hebi t chi nme
hasani t
chtost ranglehim whil
ehei scl osing
hiseyes.
Me:
(Iki
ckhi
m)Youar
esuchapi
g!!
!
Mi
ke:
OuchLi
l
iant
hathur
ts,
abuseappl
i
est
o
bot
hpar
ti
es.
Me:"
abuse"Whatdoyoucall
whatyoujustdid
t
ome?Youbr i
ngmeinacreepypl
ace,then
l
eav
emeal one.Whati
fsomeonehadharmed
me?
Mi
ke:
Who?
OhhhmyGodhei
ssochi
l
ledwhi
l
eI'
mfur
ious.
Me:
Idon'
tknowdammi
t.
Mi
ke:
Woul
dyoul
i
kesomewi
ne?
Me:
Wine?
?wher
eint
hehel
lam I.
..
..
..
It
urnmyeyestotheothersideandther
eisthe
mostr
omanticset
ti
ngf ort
wowi thfl
owers
,f
ood,
wineandevencushionstositon.
Me:
What
'st
his?
Mi
ke:
Sitdownandcal
m down.
Hesi
tsupinhiscushi
onandmoti
onsmetosit
i
nfr
ontofhim andIdosocr
ossi
ngmylegs.
Mike:HowIwi
shy
ouwer
ewear
ingadr
ess
r
ightnow.
Me:
Fucky
ou
Mi
ke:
Iknow
Hedipsthest
rawberr
iesint
hewhipcream and
feedsmeandnomat terhowyoumakeme
angryI
'
llal
waysbeinthemoodforstr
awber r
ies.
Me:
mhhmygodt
heysoy
ummy
.
Mi
ke:
CanIt
ast
ethem.
Me:
Sur
etheyar
eyour
sany
..
..
Mywordsarecutoffwhenheat t
acksmewitha
ki
ssandforasecondIfreezeanddon'
taskme
whybutIki
ssedhim backwithusshar
ingt
he
st
rawber
ryinmymout h.
Mi
ke:
(pul
l
sout
)Iseey
oual
lcal
meddownnow.
Thisi
snothappeningwhyam Ibl
ushi
ngtohi
s
senti
ment
alwords. Hehol
dsbothmyhands
andIdon'
tevenresist
.
Mi
ke:
Mar
ryme?
Ichokecoughi
nghar
dnotbecauseIhad
somethi
ngonmyt hr
oatbutbecauseofwhathe
j
ustaskedme.
Me:
Excuseme?
??
Mi
ke:
Youhear
dme,
Mar
ryMe?
.
.
Tobeconti
nuedl
atert
odaymyphonei
s
shut
ti
ngdown
[
04/
27,
19:
03]R:
17cont
inued
.
.
Il
ookathim andheisseri
ousasfuckandal ot
i
sgoingthr
oughmymi ndforst
art
ershowdid
wemov efr
om breaki
ngupandhi m sl
eepi
ng
wi
thPromisetothisandwhatkindofproposal
i
sthi
shedoesn'
tev
enhav
ear
ing.
Mi
ke:
Arey
oust
il
lher
e.?
Me:
Sur
e
Mi
ke:
Arey
ougoi
ngt
oanswerme?
Me:
No
Mi
ke:
Why
?Youdon'
tknowi
fyoul
ovemeornot
?
Me:That'
snotthesamet
hing,youknowIl
ove
youbutIdon'
tthi
nkwear
er eadyformar
ri
age.
Mi
ke:
Okay,
l
etseat
.
Me:
okay
Idon'tunder
standhowhejustsquashedthat
l
ikeitwasnothing.Hel
ookspleasedwit
h
himselfbuti
'm not
.
Me:
Mikewer
eyouser
ious?
Mi
ke:
(nodshead)mhhhh
Me:
Soy
ouj
ustl
ett
ingi
tgo?
Mike:Li
l
ianI'
m notabouttoguil
ttri
pyouinto
somethi
ngy oudon'
twanttodo, yousai
dy ou
arenotreadyandIacceptthat
.
Me:
Soy
ounotangr
y?
Mi
ke:
Whywoul
dIbe?
Weconti
nuedtoeati
nsi
lenceandsomethi
ng
waseat
ingme,whycoul
dn'tIj
ustsayy
es
i
nst
eadofalwaysbei
ngi
nmyf eeli
ngs.
Me:
Mike!
!!
Mi
ke:
Yes
Me:Youaskedmetomar ryyouandIsaidno
andIknowwhatabouttosaysoundscrazybut
Iwantyout
oaskmet hatquesti
onagai
n.
Helookedatmel
i
keIwascr
azymay
beIam
l
oosingmymind.
Mi
ke:
Wai
ther
eIwi
l
lber
ightback.
Me:
uhuhy
ounotdoi
ngt
hisagai
n
Hel ookedatmeandl aughedandt ookthecar
keysr unni
ngt owardsi t.Istoodupwat ching
him atthebot tom inthecar .Heturnedhishead
upandsawmef oldingmyar msandhest ar
ted
wav i
ngatmel ikehewasn' tjustwithme.Iwas
sti
lllaughi
ngathi sgest ureswhenIsawhi m
goingononekneenextt othecarwhi leIam on
topoft hemount ainhowt hehel l
am Isuppose
tohearhi m orsayy es.
Myphonevibr
atesandIi
gnorei
twhil
elooking
athi
m andhemakesagesturef
ormet olookat
myphoneandwhenIdohei sonfaceti
me.
(
ont
hephone)
Mi
ke:
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
(l
aughs)y
ouar
ereal
l
ynut
stoday
.
Mike:
Womanstopl
aughi
ngIam t
ryi
ngt
o
pr
oposeher
e.
Me:
OkayokayI
'
m sor
ry
Mike:
YouknowIknownot hi
ngaboutthose
doubl
ycli
chesofproposal
ssoIam doingt hi
s
myway .
Lynnyouknowy ouaremyhear tand
myhappinessandIloveyoueventhoughy ou
dri
vemeinsanesowi l
lyoumarrymeandbemy
wif
e?
Me: wowy ourproposal
iswackbutt
henagai
n
everyt
hingaboutyouiswackbutIwi
llmar
ryal
l
ofthatandmor e.
Mike:
Excusey ou,
Iwil
lhaveyounot
ethatf
or
t
henextt wodaysyouwil
lnotbeabl
etowalk
,soai
n'tnothi
ngwackinhere.
Me:
(l
aughs)I
'
m comi
ngdown,
butwhatabout
t
hethi
ngs?
Mike:
Leavet
hem ,
comeher
eanddon'
tdr
op
t
hecall.
Iwalkdownthehi
llwi
thhim maki
ngf
unofmy
face,
Ireal
l
yli
ket
hischi
ldi
shsidet
ohi
m but
beli
evemewhenIsayinanhourhewil
lbeback
tohisarrogantannoyi
ngself.
Ireachhim and
heattacksmewi thahugandput smeont opof
thebonnetstandingbetweenmyl egs.
Mike:Ihav
enevershaggedy
ouont
opoft
he
bonnetbefor
ehaveI?
Me:Youhavecomplet
elylosty
ourmi
nd,
I
'm not
hav
ingsexoutofnowhere.
Mi
ke:
Giv
emey
ourl
efthand.
Idoashesayandhesl
i
psintomyfi
ngerabi
g
di
amondri
ngandmyey espopout.
Mike:
Lili
anIdon'
thav
eti
ssuessopl
easehol
d
backthetear
s.
Me:
Ican'
t
Isai
dwi pingoftheonesfal
li
ngandhecapt ur
ed
mylipsandweshar edthemosti nt
imateand
consectualki
sseverknowntoear t
handthis
ri
ghtherewasamomentt otreasuref
or
l
ife.
Thiswast hemosthorri
bleandamazing
proposalevert
hisgoestoshowhowour
rel
ati
onshipissounique.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT18
Mi
ke
Yester
daywasamazi ngandtobehonestIhad
beenplanni ngtoaskhertomar rymebef ore
thatdr
amawi thKhayaandyesterdayseemed
tobeper fectandmyner veswereatshot
becauseIwast aki
ngafatchanceIknewshe
wasgoi ngt osaynobutwhenshesai dImust
askagaint hatputmyhear ti
ntoadanci ng
mode. Finallyshegetstohavemyl astname
andthatt omei str
easur
ableandI '
mlooking
forwar dtousl i
vingahappylif
ewi thourkids
andofcausemakesomemor e. Iwat
chher
radiantskinasshei ssleepi
ngnextt omeon
herst omach, Li
lianandIhavemadel ov emany
ti
mesbutl astnightwasbeautifuland
emot ionalandt hattomeconfirmedt hatweare
reall
ymadef oroneanot her
.
Iplantsof
twetki
ssesonhershoulderand
sl
ightl
yopenshereyesandasmilecreepsout
ofherface.
Me:
Mor
ningbaby
Li
l
y:Hey
(ki
sses)
Me:
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Li
l
y:Di
dyouj
ustbr
ushedy
ourt
eet
h?
Me:
No,
why
?
Li
l
y:Youdon'
thav
eyournor
mal
mor
ning
br
eath.
.
Me:
Ouch(
touchi
ngmychest
)thathur
ts.
Li
l
y:(
laughs)That
'sacompl
i
mentt
hough.
Shesit
supstr
aightandl
eansont
hepi
l
lowand
Idothesame.
Li
l
y:Soweget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
Me:
YesandIcan'
twai
t.
Li
l
y:Whatt
imei
sit
,Imi
ssmybabi
es?
Ohhbythewayaf terl
eavi
ngthefarmrangewe
bookedoursel
vesi nt
oahotelbecauseIdi
dn'
t
wanttorui
nthenightbygoingtomyhouseonly
tofi
ndpromisethere..
Me:
What
?Youusual
l
yrunf
rom t
hem.
Li
l
y:Somet
imes
Me:Wel
lit
sal
readyt
ool
atef
ory
out
osee
Mnqobi
.
Li
l
y:Hei
sgoi
ngt
obesohappyaboutt
his.
Me:That'
smysonsot
her
e'snowayhe
woul
dn't
.
Shehoopedi
nmyl
apandst
art
edki
ssi
ngme.
Me:
Andt
hat
?.
Li
ly:Thankyouf
orlov
ingmeascr azyand
needyasIam butmostl
ythankyouforlov
ing
andcaringf
orMnqobiasyourownson.
Me:AndthatremindsIneedtospeakt
oVuy
o
andapol
ogizeforwhathappened.
Li
l
y:It
hinkhewi
l
lappr
eci
atet
hatv
erymuch.
Me:Youknowsinceyousi
tt
ingi
nthatposi
ti
on
youmightaswel
lri
deonme.
Li
l
y:(bi
tesherl
i
p)No, If
orgott
otel
lyoulast
ni
ghtbutwewillnotbehavi
ngsexunti
lweget
marr
ied.
Il
ookedatherandl
aughedandshej
oinedt
he
l
aughwit
hme.
Me:
Youl
ovepl
ayi
ngar
ound.
Li
l
y:OhhI
'
m notbaby.
Me: Youcan'
tbeser
ious!
!!Weget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed
nextweekthen.
Li
l
y:No,
Iwil
ltel
lyouwhenpr
obabl
ythr
ee
mont
hsfr
om now.
Me:Whatam Isupposet
odowi
thoutshaggi
ng
.?
Li
l
y:Idon'
tknow,
pl
aygol
fandot
hermanl
y
st
uff
.
Me:
Youact
ual
l
ybei
ngser
iousaboutt
his?
Li
l
y:mhhh
Me:okayfi
nebutcanIshagyouonel
astt
ime
bef
oreall
thi
srubbi
shthi
ng.
Li
l
y:(
get
sof
f)No
Me:Okaybuti
fwear
egoi
ngt
odot
his,
thi
ngs
hav
etochange.
Li
l
y:Li
kewhat
?
Me:
Nomor
ewal
ki
ngar
oundnaked,
eveni
nthe
bedr
oom andf
rom nowonyouar
esl
eepi
ngi
n
pyj
amasli
keanormalper
son.
Li
l
y:Fi
nei
tsadeal
then.
Igetupfrom t
hebedi nmybi r
thdaysui
tand
shegaspsseeingmypeni shangingli
kethat
,t
hemor eIthi
nkaboutitsheistheonewhoi s
goingtohaveaprobl
em wi t
hthisnew
arr
angement.Iwalktowardsherandshekeeps
mov i
ngbackunti
lthewallhit
sher .
Li
l
y:Ouch
Me:Ser
vesy
our
ight,
whyar
eyour
unni
ngaway
f
rom me?
Li
l
y:I
'
m not(
breat
hesheav
il
y)
Ipullheri
ntomeandt hetingl
esinherbody
tel
l
smeshei shornyasfuckbutIknowshe
won'tadmitit
.Ithr
owherintothebedandgot
ontopofherandshei mmedi atel
ywrappedher
l
egsonmywai st,
seeIknowmywi f
e.
Me:
(ki
ssi
ngher)It
houghty
ousai
dnosex?
Li
l
y:Onel
astt
imet
henI
'
m ser
ious.
Iwaistednot
imeandrammedi
ntoherand
speedingupmypaceasshemoanedl
oudl
yin
ecstasy.
(
anhourl
ater
)
Li
l
y:BabyIdon'
thav
eabr
a.
Me:
Andwhynot
?
Li
l
y:Yout
orei
tremember
..
Me:
Ohhbuty
ourbr
eastar
esexy.
Li
ly:OrhowaboutItakeyourhoodi
ethat
shouldcov
erever
ything.
Me:
Itsmi
ner
emembert
hat
.
Lil
y:
(squeakyvoi
ce)Ohhbabewhat'
smi nei
s
yoursandwhat'syour
sismine,
i
sn'
tthatarul
e
foramar r
iedcoupl
e?.
Me:
Mxm If
orgoty
oursmar
tmout
h.
Li
l
y :
(laughs)Il
ovey
out
oonowl
et'
sgogett
hat
bi
tchoutofmyhouse.
Me:
Whatdi
dthenannydoy
ou.
?
Li
l
y:I
'
mtal
ki
ngabouty
oural
mostsi
dehoe.
Iknowbet tert
hantomakeacommentabout
herstatementsoIjusttookthephonesandcar
keysandwecheckedoutanddr ovestr
aightto
myhouse, Ihonest
lydon'tknowwhatwill
happenedbecauseLi l
i
ancanbeal adybutshe
sti
llhasthatsi
deyoudonotwantt obear ound
with.
Ipar
kedthecari
nandshewasf
ir
stt
ocome
outandheadedi
nsi
dewit
hmeri
ghtbehi
ndher
.
Li
l
y:(
laughs)Wel
lwel
lwi
l
lyoul
ookatt
his?
Shelaughedatt
her
omanti
cset
ti
ngthat
Promisemadeandnott
omenti
ontheli
nger
ie
sheisweari
ng.
WhenshesawLi
l
ianshequi
ckl
ycov
eredher
sel
finannoy
ance.
Me:
Didn'
tIt
ell
yout
oleav
e?
Promise:
(ref
err
ingt
oLy
nn)Whati
sshedoi
ng
here?
Li
ly:Ibeli
evet
hisi
smyhouseandmyman
askedy outol
eavesowhyar
eyoust
il
lher
e?
Promise:Bi
tchyounotmar
ri
edt
ohi
m sohei
s
notyourpossessi
on.
Lil
y:Youmeant"yet
"ri
ght
,okayl
et'
sgetone
thi
ngclearyougotwhaty
ouwant edwhi
chwas
hisdicksonowitst
imetogo.
Pr
omi
se:
Andheenj
oyedi
t.
Li
l
y:(
smi
l
es)Yousur
e,Ican'
treal
l
ytel
l.
Pr
omi
se:
Iguessy
oumadey
ourcal
lthenMi
ke.
Me:
Isur
edi
d,nowgetout.
!!
!
Promi
se:Ican'
twai
ttoseetheheadl
i
nesof
tomor
row"Thesaviouroft
heworldt
urnedi
nto
aWi
febyagr
oupofman"
Shecouldn'
tev
enfi
nishhersentencewhen
Li
li
anjumpedoffonherandslappedthepi
ss
outofher.
Lil
y:Li
stentomev er
ycareful
l
y,youwilldono
suchthi
ngandIhearev engossipaboutwhat
happenedtoMi keIwill
huntyoudownandki ll
youanddon'tthinkI'
mjokingaboutthatI'v
e
doneitbefor
eandIwon' thesit
atetodoi tagai
n.
Icoul
dseet heshockinPr
omiseeyesbutmor
e
soinme, whatdoesshemeanshehasdoneit
befor
e.IhaveseenLil
i
anseri
oussomanytime
buttothisl
evelnev
erandIcoul
dtell
shewas
notplayi
ng.
Li
l
y:Nowshoul
dIhel
pyoupack?
Pr
omi
se:
Fuckof
f
Li
l
y:I
twasni
cemeet
ingy
out
oo.
Pr
omi
sewentupst
air
sandt
ookherbagswhi
ch
wer
ealreadypackedandbangedt
hedoor
wal
kingaway.
Me:
O..
kaycanIasky
ouaquest
ion.
Lil
y:YesIki
ll
edmyexwhowasal soabusi
vet
o
meandt ri
edtoki
dnappedmef r
om thehospi
tal
tomakemehi ssl
avesoy esIki
l
ledhiminsel
f
defense.
Me:
Younev
ert
oldmet
hat?
Li
ly:I
'
m notpr
oudofi
tsoIdon'
tl
iket
otal
k
aboutit
.
Me: Soy
our
eal
l
ygoi
ngt
oki
l
lpr
omi
sei
fshe
t
alks?
Li
ly;Ohhnobaby,
yout
helegalcr
iminali
nt hi
s
housenotmesoyouwil
lkil
lheryoursel
f.
Me:
(l
aughs)Youcr
azy
Li
ly
: Youl
ovemet hough,
LookIhav
et odashI
haveafri
endshi
pthatIhavet
oresolv
esoby e.
Me:
(Ki
ssi
ng)by
ebaby,
tel
lmewheny
oudone
soIcanhangoutwi
thy
ouandmyki
dsandmy
gr
owingseed.
Li
l
y:(
laughs)Youdr
eam t
oomuchIl
ovey
ou.
Shesaidwalki
ngoutandIjustsi
ghedi
n
ful
fi
ll
mentseeinghowhappywebot hwer
e.
.
.
Li
l
ian
Igotmysel fi
nshit,
Idon' tknowhowI '
m goi ng
tosur vi
vewi t
houtsexwi thhim around,y esI
admi tIam asexaddi ctbutonlytomymansoI
woul dn'
tcallmyselfawhor e.I
'
m gladIsor t
ed
outt heissuewithPromisenowi t
st i
met osor t
thingsoutwi t
hmyf riendImi ssher.Ont heway
toherhouseIboughtst rawberri
esandi ce
cream wi thourf
avoritechocolateandi fshe
turnsmedownwi t
hal lt
heseIgi veup.Itookt he
plasticandknockedont hedoorandshe
answer ed.
Me:
Hey
Nandi
:Hi
Me:SoIbroughtyourf
avour
it
ethi
ngs,
canI
comeinIpromiseIhaveawhit
efl
ag.
Nandi:Youknowmyf avor
itesnacksarethe
sameasy our
ssoI'
m notshari
ng(takest
he
plast
ic)youcancomein.
Shetookthepl
ast
icandst
art
edunpacki
ngt
he
snacks.
Me:
Howhav
eyoubeen?
Nandi
:Good,
you?
Me:
Notsogood.
Shestopseati
ngandlooksatmewi t
hawor ri
ed
l
ookonherf aceandmyheartdancesbecauseI
st
il
lhavemyf ri
end.
Nandi
:Why
?what
'
swr
ong?
Me:
Imi
ssmybestf
ri
end,
IknowIdon'
tusual
l
y
admitt
othingsbutevery
thi
ngt
hatyousaidwas
tr
ueandIreali
sethatnowandI
'm bl
essedto
haveafri
endwhot el
lsmewhenI'
m wrong.
Nandi:
Waitwait,
weactual
l
yneedt
orecor
d
t
hat.Youadmittobei
ngwrong?
Me:
IdoandI
'
m sor
ryf
orbehav
ingl
i
keabr
at.
Nandi
:AndI'
m sorr
yifIcameoutasharshbutI
j
ustwantedyoutostopli
vi
ngi
naf ant
asyworld,
her
e(shehandsmeaspoon)Imi ssedyoutoo.
Me:
Hugi
tout
?
Nandi
:(hugging)comel
et'
sgot
othecouch
andfi
nishall
ofthis.
Wet ookourfoodandwentt
osi
tont
hecouch
eat
ingicecream.
Me:AndI'
l
lhav
eyouknowthatthel
astpar
tthat
yousai
dtoact
ual
l
yhappened.
Nandi
:Whatpar
t?
Me:
Thepar
twher
ehef
indssomeonet
o
r
epl
acemewi
thandnotcomer
unni
ngaf
terme.
Nandi
:What
???Thatsonofabi
..
..
Me:(
laughs)WhoahIt
houghtt
hat
'
swhaty
ou
wanted?
Nandi:
ofcausenotIdi
dnotmeant
hat,
Ij
ust
wantedtohur
tyou.
I'
m sor
ryf
ri
endy
oumustbe
hur
t.
Me:
I'
m notact
ual
l
y,I
'
m engaged.
Isai
dshowingmyf i
ngert
oherandshedi
dnot
haveahappyface.
Nandi:Li
li
anIknowIsaidyouareahoebutdo
youreall
yhavetoactli
keone.
Notevenamonth
andyoual r
eadyengagedt
osomeoneelse?
Me:
No,
I
'm engagedt
oMi
ke.
Nandi
:Mikewho?Theonewhosl
eptwi
th
anot
herwoman?
Me:YesthatMike,l
ookwetal
kedabouti
tandI
f
orgavehimforthatandnowwegett
ing
mar
ri
ed.
Nandi:Befor
eIscream i
njoyf
orfi
nal
lyusi
ng
yourbrains,
hedoesn'
thavest
ret
chesdoeshe?
orhurtinanyway
?
Me:Well
ify
oucallhi
m di
ckingmethewhol
e
ni
ghtbei
nghur
tthenIsupposehei
s.
Nandi
:(screams)OhhhmyGodI'm sohappyf
or
youandfinall
yyougrowi
ngupandthisi
syour
l
astwedding,goti
t?
Me:(hugging)Yesmam GoshImi
ssedyou,
and
heproposedv i
aFacet
imeandIwantedt
oadd
yousoy oucouldseet
hemoment.
Nandi
:Youshouldhave,
Iwasnott
hatangr
y
butt
ell
mey ourecor
dedit
.
Me:
Isur
edi
d.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT19
Li
l
ian
Myl if
eseemst obeper fect,Ihavemyki ds,my
manandIhav emybestf ri
endbackt here'
s
nothingmor ethatIcanaskf or .
IleftNandi '
s
placeawhi leagoandIpassedbyt hemal lt o
pickupsomest affthatwer eshor ti nthehouse
andMi kesai dheisal readyi nthehousewi th
thekids,IguessI 'm cooki ngt henbecauseMi ke
l
ov eshist ummy .
Ipar kmycari nthegar ageand
takeoutt hest affIboughtandheadt ot hedoor .
Iopent hedoorandIhearv oicest hatsound
famili
arandIcl osemyey eswi thaheav yhear t
andgui l
tbecauseIhav enotseenort alkedt o
LeboandLer atosincet hatsagaofMi ke's
disappearanceal l
becauseIwassel findulged
onmyf eelings.I'
m st il
lfrozenatt hedoor
becauseIdon' tknowwhatt osayt othem t hey
mustr eall
yhat emef orforget t
ingaboutt hem
afterImadeapr omi set onev erdot hat.
Mi
ke:
Youokay
.
Ij
umpouti
nfr
ightandMi
ket
akest
hepl
ast
ics.
Me:
Whendi
dtheygether
e?
Mi
ke:
Hal
fanhourago,
whydoy
oul
ookl
i
ket
hat
?
Me:OhhmyGodI '
m suchabadmot her
,Ihav
e
notseent
hensi
nceyoudisappear
ed.
Mi
ke:
Yohht
hatl
ongwhy
?
Me:
Idon'
tknowIki
ndoff
orgott
hem.
Mi
ke:
Got
alkt
othem ,
I
'l
lbei
ntheki
tchen.
Mikemadehi swaytotheki
tchenandIwalked
i
ntothedini
ngroom andLer
atoquickl
ysawme
andsmiledbutLebowassti
llonherphoneshe
di
dn'tev
enseeme.
Me:
HeyGi
rl
s?
Ler
ato:
HeyAunt
yLi
l
ian.
OkayI'
m backtobei
ngAuntIguessIr
eal
lyl
ost
t
hetit
tl
eofbeingthei
rmother,
Lebowassti
l
l
concent
rat
ingonherphone.
Me:
Howar
eyou?
Ler
ato:
Wegood,
thet
winsar
ebeaut
if
ul.
Me:
Thanky
ou,
Lebohang?
Sherai
sedhereyesandjustl
ookedatme
wit
houtsay
inganythi
ng.
Me:
Soy
ounotgoi
ngt
otal
k.?
Lebo:
Idi
dn'twantt
ocomehereinthefi
rst
pl
acesheforcedmetosol
etherdothetal
king
notme.
Lerat
o:Justst
opLebo,
wecameher
etot
ell
you
thatwearemov i
ng.
Me:
Mov
ing!
!!
?Wher
e?
Lebo:
Whyar
eyouact
ingl
i
key
oucar
e?
Me:
LeboofcauseIdo.
Ler
ato:Grandmahasr
elat
ivesi
nBloemf
ontei
n
andsinceit
sjustt
het
hreeofusherewi
thuncl
e
bakanginCapet
ownshet
hinksi
tsbestwe
mov ecl
osert
ofami
l
y.
Lebo:
Canwegonow?
(looki
ngatLer
ato)
Me:
LeboI
'
m..
.
Lebo:It
sf inewenoty ourki
dssoy oudon'towe
usanythingandbesideIknewt hi
swasgoi ngt
o
happenaf terwhatdaddidtoy ou.(
Stands)
Congratulati
onsony ourengagementy ou
deservehappiness.
ShesaidwalkingpastmebutIgrabbedher
handandshewascr yi
ngandIki
ndofknew
that
,Lebowasalwayslikeme.Whensheishur
t
shesay sal
ltheni
cethings.
Me:
Lebobabypl
easesi
tdown.
Lebo:
No,
Iwantt
ogetoutofher
e.
Ipull
edhertomehugginghernott hatshe
respondedbutIhear
shersil
entcri
esbecoming
l
ouderandwr appedherhandsaroundmeand
shekeptcryi
ngforawhileandIknew
somethingwaswrong,IsatherdownandMi ke
cameoutofnowher ewit
hagl assofsugar
waterandgaveitt
oLeboandshedr anki
tand
wasmor ecalmeraft
eraf ewmi nut
es.
Me:
(t
oMi
ke)Thanks
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
beupst
air
s.
Me:LeboI
'
m sor
ryIknowI
'
mthewor
stper
son
r
ight
.
Lebo:Yousai
dy ouwil
lbeourmot herbuty
ou
for
gotaboutus,whenwelostourparentswe
hadhopebecauseweknewwehady oubuty ou
werenotther
e.Weneededyou,Ineededyou
when(cri
es)Iwasrapedbutyouwer enotthere.
Me:(shocked)Raped?Whatar
eyout
alki
ng
about?
Shewasnowbackt obeingemoti
onaland
hi
stori
calandIl
aidherheadonmylapbrushi
ng
herback.
Lerato:Shewasr apedbytheteacherandwe
tri
edt ocal
lyouandt el
lyoubutyounev er
pickedupy ourphone.Theteacherwasarrest
ed
thoughandshehasbeenseei ngatherapi
stbut
that'
snothelpingeit
her.
Me:Yourgrandmotherwasher
eformom'
s
f
uneral
,shedidn'
ttel
lme?
Ler
ato:
Lebosai
dshemust
n't.
TosayIwashur tbyt hiswouldbean
under
statement,Ican'timagi
nethepainshei
s
goi
ngthroughandIwasnott herebecauseI
wasbusyshutti
ngt hewor ldout.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryIwasnott
her
efory
ou.
Lebo:
Itsf
ine,
wegotpasti
t.
Ler
ato:
Wehav
etogo,
wel
eav
ingi
n30mi
nut
es.
Me:
Youl
eav
ingt
oday?
.
Ler
ato:
Yes
Me:
Okay,
pleasef
orgi
vememybabi
esi
twas
neveri
ntent
ional
toi
gnoreyouornotpay
att
enti
ontoy ou.
Ist
il
ll
oveyouv er
ymuchand
I'
l
ltryMybesttobeyourmotheragai
n.
Lerato:Ther
eisnoneed,weunderst
and
besideswegoingtoBloemfont
einnow.
Theybothst
oodupandIhuggedthem bothand
theyl
eft.
Immediat
elyaf
tert
heycl
osedthedoor
tear
scamer ol
l
ingdownandIfel
tapairofhand
wrappi
ngaroundme.
Mi
ke:
Youokay?
Me:
Ican'
tIfor
gotaboutt
hem andnowthey
movi
ngIcan'
tevenmakeituptothem.
Mike:I
'
m sorr
ybaby,
buttheyar
enotmov i
ngout
ofthecount
ryyoucancallt
hem andt
heycan
comeandv i
sit.
Me:Idon'
tthinktheyar
eint
erest
edi
nbui
l
ding
anymorerelati
onshi
pwithme.
Mi
ke:
Thi
sismyf
aul
t,may
bei
fIhadn'
tbeen
gonefort
hatl
ongy
ourl
i
fewoul
dn'
tbei
nsuch
stat
e.
Me: No,
don'
tbl
amey our
selfy
oudi dnot
di
sappearbychoi
ceandIwoul dneverbl
ame
anyoneaboutmynegli
gencetomyki ds.
Mi
ke:I
twi
llal
lworkout,
nowwhatdoy
ouwant
metomakefordi
nner?
Me:
Youcooki
ng?
Mike:
Yes,t
here'
snot
hingwr
ongwi
thme
cooki
ngforthel
oveofmyli
fe.
Me:Howmanychar
act
ersar
eyoubecauseI
can'
tkeepup?
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumeanchar
act
ers?
Me: onemi nutey ouarethe"mywomancooks
forme"t ypenowy oucooking,
theny
out he
arrogantandser i
ouschar act
erandthenther
e's
thedeadl ycharacter,
andmymostf avorit
e
playfulandfunnychar act
er.
Mi
ke:
Iam notl
i
ket
hatatal
l
.
Me:I'
l
lhaveyounotei
twhent
ransf
ormat
ionof
char
acter
shappens.
Mi
ke:
Soy
ouonl
yli
keone?
Me:
Yep,t
hear
rogantoneannoysmeandt
hen
t
hedeadl
yonescarest
heshitoutme.
Mike:
I'
m sor
ryifIscar
eyoubutIwi
l
lnev
erhur
t
youorhar
my ou.
Me:Iknowjustmini
mizethedeadl
yoneI
l
it
eral
lybecomescaredofyou.
Mike:
Ipr
omiseIwi
l
l,nowl
etmegetst
art
edon
t
hecooki
ng.
Me:Ohhit
sjustus,
thebr
other
sar
esl
eepi
ngat
afr
iend.
Hewentintot hekit
chenandIwentupst ai
rs
andthetwinswer ewideawakesoIt ookthem
downstai
rsandl ai
dablanketonthef l
oor
pl
ayi
ngwi t
ht hem andafewmi nuteslater
Mnqobicameinr
unni
ngandI'm guessi
ngVuyo
di
dn'
twanttocomeinaf
terourl
astencount
er.
Herant
omeandhuggedmewhi leIsawMike
goi
ngout.
Me:
Mama'
sboy
,howwasschool
?
Nqobi
:I
twasokay
,Imi
ssedy
ou.
Me:
Imi
ssedmybabi
est
oo.
Nqobi
:Wher
ewer
eyou?
Me:
Iwaswi
thuncl
eMi
ke.
Nqobi
:Wher
eishenow?
Me:Talki
ngt
oy ourdad,goputyourbag
upst
air
sandtakeoffthoseshoes.
Her
anupst
air
sandMi
kecameback.
Me:
And?
Mi
ke:
Andwhat
?
Me:
Whathappened?
Mi
ke:
Not
hingf
ory
out
owor
ryabout,
thi
ngsar
e
cool
wit
hhi
m now.
Me:
Youdi
dn'
tthr
eat
enhi
m di
dyou?
Mi
ke:
(l
aughs)No,
heybuddy
.
Nqobi:
Heyuncl
e,ar
ewegoi
ngbackt
oyour
house?
Mi
ke:
Soon,
wehav
esomet
hingt
otel
lyou.
Me:
Weget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed!
!!
Nqobi
:(scr
eams)y
eyy
y
Me:
Whatdoy
ouknowaboutmar
ri
age?
Nqobi:MaI
'
m notachi
l
d,okaymay
beIam but
averysmar
tone.
Mi
ke:
Gott
hatr
ight(
laughs)
Nqobi
:Sowegoi
ngt
oli
vet
oget
herf
orev
er?
Us:
Yep
.
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
Dinnerwasamazingatleastwedi dn'
thave
sampandTr i
peheact ual
lysur
prisedmewi th
hiscooki
ngskil
l
sandsi ncemybr other
sarenot
hereheissl
eepingoverandwej ustputthekids
tosleep.
Mi
ke:
Sowhatam Isl
eepi
ngi
n?
Me:
Yourbr
ief
s,whatdoy
ouwantt
osl
eepi
n?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknow.
Me:
Ihav
eoneofy
ourT-
shi
rt
sher
e.
Mi
ke:
Whendi
dyout
akei
t?
Me:WhenIwasl
eavi
ng,
Ineededsomet
hat
smel
ledofy
ouokay.
Mi
ke:
(laughs)okay
.
IgavehimtheT-shi
rtandwesleptunti
lIwoke
upallsweat
y,thi
siswhyIdon'
tsleepin
pyj
amas.Ilookedoveratmysideandhewas
sl
eepingandIstoodupandtookoffthe
py
jamasandgoti
nsi
det
hebl
anket
s.
AsIwasdozi
ngbackt
osl
eepIf
eel
Mike'
shand
rubbi
ngonmyvagi
na.
Me:
Mhhhst
op
Mi
ke:
Whyar
eyounaked?
Me:
Icoul
dn'
tsl
eep.
Mi
ke:
Yourasshasmademehor
nyt
hen.
Me:
Takeashowert
hen.
Mi
ke:
NoI
'
m notdoi
ngt
hat.
Itr
iedtogobackt osleepbuthekeptont al
ki
ng
onandonaboutsomest upidthi
ngsIdonot
careaboutrightbecauseIwanttosleeping.He
mov edfrom tel
li
ngabouthischil
dhood
memor iestohim meet i
ngMichaelJackson.
*Reall
y?Iwantt osleep*
Itookmyphoneandcheckedtheti
meandi t
was03:56am ,
you'
vegott
obekiddingme. I
'
v e
beenwithdi
ff
erentmanandduri
ngt hei
rHorny
moment stheyhav
enev erdonethis,thi
sis
abuseandifheisgoi
ngt obeli
ket histi
llweget
marri
edI'
llbeabri
dewithhugeey ebagsI
swear.
Afterawhil
ehistalki
ngactuall
ybecame
asmootheningsoundthatIfel
lasleepto.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT20
Li
l
ian
Thel asttwomont hshavebeenat ort
ur et omeI
don'tknowwhet herIwasdr unkornotwhenI
madet hatstupi
dr ul
ebutIam sogl adt hat
todayitsfinall
ycomi ngtoanendandIcanhav e
allofmymenandy ouwil
lbehappyt oknow
thatwhathesai daboutmecar ryi
nghi sot her
seedwasact uallytr
uebecauseIam i ndeed
pregnantandev enthoughIswor eonnev er
hav i
nganot herkidIam actuall
yexcit
edabout
thi
spr egnancy .Iam happythatIam mar r
ying
mysoul mateandev eryoneIlov ei
saroundto
wit
nessi tal
thoughLeboandLer at
oaren'
t
here.
It ri
edtor eachoutt othem butIguessthey
havecl osedthatpar toftheirli
veswhereI
mat t
ert othem andIcan' tforcethem.
Ilookmysel ft
ouchingmynotsov i
sibl
ebell
yin
themi rr
orandjustsmil
edandmymomentof
appr eci
ati
onwasr ui
nedbyasuddenoutburst
oft hedoorandIquickl
ytur
nedaroundtosee
Mi ke.
Me:
Whatar
ey.
..
..
Hecutmeof fashekissedt
heheckoutofme
andIki
ssedhim backwitht
hesameforceGod
knowsImissedhim.
Me:
mhhh(
moans)St
opt
hisi
sbadl
uck.
Mi
ke:
Whati
s?
Me:
(ki
ssi
ngmyneck)Youseei
ngmebef
ore
t
heweddi
ng.
Mike:Webot
hdon'
tbel
i
evet
hatcr
apsoi
twon'
t
happen.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou(
kissi
nghi
m)
OhhmyGodI 'veneverseenthi
sinanymov i
es
andIchoset oleti
thappen,t
hekissgotheat
ed
ashest ar
tedtoexploremymout hwithhi
s
tongueashishandgoti nsi
demypant i
es
rubbi
ngmycl itmakingmesoaki nwetnessbut
eventhatwasr ui
ned.
Nandi
:Ar
ggggggmanst
opi
t,
whatar
eyout
wo
doi
ngewww.
Wequi
ckl
ytri
edtofi
xourselv
esandIcoul
dsee
t
heembar
rassmenti
nMike'seyes.
Nandi
:WenaMi
kegetout
,Phuma!
!!
!!
Hequi
ckl
yranout
.
Nandi;Andtheny
ouwonderwhyyoupregnant
again,
canyoutwokeepy
ourhandsof
fofeach
other?
Me:
(f
lushed)Idon'
tknow
Nandi
:Snapoutofi
tnxaa,
yousuchahor
ny
bi
tch.
Me:Youthelastonet
ospeak,
youhavebeen
get
ti
ngitandIhavebeenhavi
ngadryspel
l.
Nandi
:Ibel
i
ev et
hati
syourfaul
t,
her
eget
dr
essedorelseyouwi
ll
belate.
Me:
FineMr
sfunsnat
cher
.
It
ookoutmycreamywhit
elongdr
esswhi
chi
s
sl
i
ghtl
yopenedatt
heback.
Nandihel
pedmeputi tonandnott
obragbut
damnIlookedsexyandmyextracur
vesI
gai
nedaftert
hetwinsarepl
ayi
nganexqui
sit
e
rol
e.
Nandi
: OhhmyGodbbeyoul
ookamazi
ng,
you
def
ini
telynotwal
ki
ngt
omorr
ow.
Me:
Itsal
i
ttl
ebi
tti
ghtonmybabyt
hough.
Nandi
:Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evey
ourcr
azyassi
s
pr
egnantagai
n..
Me:Tel
lmeabouti
t,
a43year
sol
dpoppi
ng
babi
esl
ikeacr
azywoman.
Nandi
:Aheal
thyone,
youcanst
il
lcar
rybabi
es
t
il
lyou50.
Me:Ohhhnohoney,af
tert
hisonet
heshopi
s
cl
osedforgoodt
histi
me.
Nandi
:Wewi l
lseewhaty
ourhusbandhast
o
sayaboutt
hat.
Me:(
laughs)Pr
obabl
ybet
hebi
ggestf
ightoft
he
cent
ury.
Cl
air
e:Ohhwowy
oul
ookamazi
ngmom.
Me:
Ohhheybaby
,t
hanky
ou.
Cl
air
e:Icamet
ogi
vey
out
hese.
Shehandsmeapairofearr
ingst
hatIqui
ckl
y
recogni
sedasmymother'
s.
Cl
air
e:Don'
tev
ent
hinkaboutr
uini
ngy
ourmake
up,
somethi
ngol
d.Gr
andmagott
hisonher
matr
icf
arewel
l.
Me:
Iwi
shshewasher
e.
Nandi
:Sheisi
nspi
ri
t,andher
eissomet
hing
bor
rowed.
Shesai
dtaki
ngof
fherpi
nfr
om herheadand
fi
xi
ngmyhair.
Me:
Thanky
ouguy
s.
?
??:
Ithoughtt
her
ewasal
sosomet
hingbl
ue.
?
Itur
nedtoseemysoont
obemotherinlawand
shewasstandi
ngt
herel
ooki
ngal
lst
yli
shand
cl
assy.
Me:
HeyMA
Mari
a:Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngfort
hissi
ncet
heday
If
ir
stmetyourl
oudmouth.
Me:
That
'si
ssuchani
cecompl
i
ment
.
Mar
ia:
Any
wayIcameher
etot
ell
yout
hataf
ter
theweddingyouwill
hav et
woday sto
your
selvesandthenaftert
hatyouhavet
ogot
o
Swazil
andforsomeot herr
itual
s.
Me:
(conf
used)Whatr
it
ual
s?
Mar
ia:
Youwi
l
lknowwheny
ougett
her
e.
Me:
Whataboutmyhoney
moon?
Mar
ia: Youar
espoi
l
t,t
hatwi
l
lcomeaf
ter
.
Me:
Asl
ongasIwon'
tgett
odoanyhar
dst
aff
.
Nandi
:Okaythenl
et'
sgetcr
acki
ngy
ourmani
s
pr
obablyget
ti
ngworri
ed.
Me:
Right
.
Mar
ia:
Letmegot
omysi
t.
Iguesst hisi
sit
,I
'mtakingaleapoffai
thint
o
great nessandintoanamazi ngli
feandI
woul dn'tbehavingi
tanyot herwayorwith
anot herman,hehaspr ovedsomanyt i
mest hat
hei si ndeedamanofki ndness,
int
egri
tyand
l
ov e.
.
Mi
ke
TodayIf eell
ikemyl i
feisabouttochangef or
thebet t
er,
Iam mar r
yingmybestf r
iend,my
soulmat eandsomeoneIknowwi l
lal
way sbe
onmysi de,
carr
yingandsuppor t
ingmeal lt
he
way .
Ilookaroundaspeopl estar
tsettl
ingdown
i
nt hei
rchairsandmymot herpassesbyme.
Mot
her
:Shei
sbeaut
if
ul.
Shecont
inuesandsi
tsdowninherchai
rand
smil
esandthepri
estt
ell
stheguest
stosett
le
down.
Ty:
I'
veneverseenyouthi
sshaken,
Icoul
dtake
i
nthismemoryforever
Me:Manthi
sisscar
y,howdoIsaymyv
owsi
n
f
rontofsomanypeople.
?
Ty
:youwi
l
lbef
ine.
Hepat
smybackast
hebr
idesmai
dcomei
n,
if
l
ookscouldt el
lIsweary oucouldall seeI'm on
myknees.Mnqobi standsf r
om hissi tandr uns
tothedoorandweal lwat chhim standbyt he
doorandhei sfeelinghi msel f
.Thepi anoman
star
tsplayi
ngsof tmusi candt hereshei sthe
mostbeaut i
fulandsexywomani nt hewor ld
andIclosemyey est hankingGodf orappr oving
meofhav ingsuchper fection,
awomant hatis
worthallt
hef i
ghtsandt ragedies.
Shel ooks
downonMnqobi andIseehersl i
ghtlylaughing
ashetakesherhandl eadinghert ome.
Iam notaboutt
ocr ybutt
hismomentis
makingmeemot ional.
Shegiv
esthef
lower
sto
Nandiandgrabsmyhands.
Li
l
y:(
mout
hs)Real
l
y??
Ismi
l
eatherandt
hepi
anost
opspl
ayi
ng.
Pastor:Dear
lybelovedwearegather
edher
eto
j
ointhisbeauti
fulsoul
sinahandofmarri
age
beforeGodandt heirl
ovedones.
Whohandsthi
s
woman'
shandi
nmar
ri
age?
Cl
air
e&Mnqobi
:Wedo
Pastor
:Iwil
lnotpreachonhowmar r
iagewor
ks
si
nceI'v
ealreadydonepre-
marit
al
counsel
ing,
sowewi llgost
rai
ghttot
hevows.
Me: I'
llgof irst,
Youknowt hi
smor ni ngIfound
mysel ft hinkingaboutf ewy earsbackwheny ou
andIwer ejustfriendsbecauset ur nedmedown
whenIaskedy out obemygi r
landf rom that
dayy ouandIbecamei nseparabl e.Younotonl y
mybestf ri
endbutmypl aceofhappi ness,af ew
weeksagoy ousai dIhav edifferentchar acters
withinmeandIl aughedaty ouandnowt he
mor eIlooki ntoitIrealisethaty ouwer et ell
ing
thet r
uthbutt her easonf orthatwasal lmyl i
feI
hav enev ermetany onewhost rivest ochal lenge
mei nev erywaypossi bleandy etgi veslov eso
undeniabl et hatitmakesy ougocr azy .
Allthose
charact ersappearwhenI 'm withy ou,youhav e
l
ov edmeev enwhenIt houghtIdi dn'tdeser ve
tobel oved,youknowmyweakestmoment sand
allmysecr etsbutyoustil
ll
ov emeany wayand
givey ourselftomewill
ingl
y.IthankGodtil
lthi
s
dayt hathechosemet obesodeser vingofyour
l
ov e.Ipromisetoloveandtreasureyouallmy
l
ife,makey ouandourkidsmypr ior
it
yand
protecty oualways.
IswearItr
iednottomaket
hev
owsemot
ional
butsheiscryi
ng.
Pastor:Thankyousont
hatwasv
ery
special
.Li
li
an.
Li
ly:
Okayuhhhwhewf i
rst
lyIwouldtosayto
ever
yonethatt
hisi
sact
uallyt
hefir
stti
mehe
hasdecl
aredhi
slovef
ormet hatcordi
all
y.
(audi
encelaughs)foraminutethereIthought
hewoul dnotsayanyvowsbutIguessIwas
wrong.Godknowssomet imesIhatey oubut
nothi
ngev erbeat
stheloveIhavefory ou.
I
knowIam noteasyt olov
eort ol
eratebecauseI
haveav eryfemi nistmi ndsetandmy
i
ndependencet hatIhadf oralongtimemakes
i
thar dformet oadj ustt ohavingalifepar t
ner
butyoust i
lll
ov eme. Notonlydidyoul oveme
butyoul ov edev eryf l
awIhadandt ookinmy
kidsasi ftheywer ey oursandmademyj oyy our
j
oy ,
withy ouIf eelcompl et
eandconf identabout
myl i
fe.Youmakemeseemyl i
feinadi f
ferent
l
ightwhi chi sposi ti
veandI 'l
ldiecheri
shingt hat
feel
ingt haty ougiv eme. Iwil
lalwayslovey ou
andourki ds.Il
ov ey ouMzi wonkeDi mbaandI
am wi l
l
ingt ost andi nfrontofGodandev ery
oneher eandsayYouar emyl i
fe.

shesai
dtakingahugesighandIrai
sedmy
handtowipehert
earsandeveryhadthat"
awe"
moment.
Pastor
:Ithinkit
ssafetosaythatthist
wol ov
e
eachotherandar ewil
l
ingtosacri
ficewhatever
tomaket heirl
i
vesadr eam.
Ifther
e'sanyone
her
ewhobel i
evest
hatthesetwoshoul
dn'tbe
marri
edspeaknoworforeverhol
dyourpeace.
Idon'
tthi
nkLili
anandIheardwhatt hepast or
sai
dbecausewewer ei
nourownbuddl ewith
oureyesdoingthet
alki
ng.If
eltTygr abbi
ngmy
handgivi
ngmet heri
ngandIqui cklysnapped
outofheavenandwedi dthewhole" Ido"part
oftheweddingbuttoal
l t
hatwasj ustforshow
becauseinmyheartLil
i
anhasbeenmywi fe
si
ncethedayIsaidIloveher.
Pastor:Nowwit
hthepowerinv
estedi
nmeI
pronounceyouhusbandandwif
e,y
oumayki
ss
yourbri
de.
Ipull
edheri ntomeandagai nshewas
cry
ing,shereall
yisemot ionalt
oday.
Iplacedmy
l
ipsont opofher sandf oramomentwebot h
fr
ozeitwasl i
kekissi
ngherf orthef
ir
sttimebut
Iguessi ti
sthefirstki
ssingherasMRSDi mba.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT21
Wewal
khandinhandtothebeauti
ful
decorof
t
her
ecept
ionandever
ybodyscreams.
Clai
re:
"puty
ourhandstoget
herf
ormy
parent
s,MrandMrsDimba"
IguesssheistheMCtoday
,wemoveandsitt
o
ourdest
inedsit
swhi
charever
yhugebythe
wayandt her
ewassti
l
lsomesoftmusi
cplayi
ng.
Li
l
y:Ican'
tbel
i
evewedi
dit
.
Me:Wedid,
youar
emywi f
eandIwi
ll
mar
ryy
ou
at
housandti
mesagai
n.Il
ovey
ou.
Lil
y:
(ki
sses)Il
oveyoutoohubbyplusIhaveto
tel
lyousomethingwhenwearealonethough.
Me:
Pleasedon'
ttel
lmeaboutsomesexr
ule
agai
n.?
Li
l
y :
(laughs)NoIwoul
dn'
tdot
hat
,Ineedsome
at
tentiondownther
e.
Me: Thi
siswhyy
oumywi
fe.
Clai
re:
Tothebeaut i
fulcouplecongrat
ulat
ions
youbothdeserveit
,nowf ortheorderof
busi
nesswear efi
rstlygoingtocall
the"Queen"
motherofthegroom tocomesayaf ewwor ds.
IlookatLil
ianasshel aysherheadonmy
shoulderplayingwit
hourr i
ngs.
Mymot her
stoodupandIcoul dseepeoplebeingconf
used
onwhet hert ocl
aporpraiseher,
Iguessthe
"Queen"phr asecausedalotofconfusi
on.
Shewentint
othepodi
um Ijusthopeshe
doesn'
tsayany
thi
ngstupi
dt hatwi
llembar
rass
us.
Me:
(t
oLynn)Shei
sgoingt
osaysomet
hing
wr
ongI'
mtell
ingy
ou.
Li
l
y:Abouty
oumay be,
shel
ovesmewayt
oo
muchtoembar
rassme.
Il
aughedbecausewhatshei
ssay
ingi
str
ue,
my
motheri
sveryfondofLi
li
an.
Mot her:Clairancedi
dy ouhav etosay
"Queen"? Mynamei sMar i
aandt hatri
ght
thereismysonandmynewestf ound
daughter.Firstl
yall
owmet osay"Fi nal ly"t
hey
getmar riedIwasbegi nningt owonder( crowd
l
aughs) .
YouknowwhenIf irstcamei nto
contactwi thMakot iIwasshookandt akenby
thestrengt hthatwomanhas, forbeingso
vult
urousaboutwhatshebel i
evesinandmy
ohhmyshedi dn'
tevencar ethatIwast he
queenandi twasexactl
yt hatmomentt hatI
saidthatwi l
lbemydaught erinlaw.Thei rl
ove
j
ourneyhasnotbeeneasyandIt hi
nkf orallof
uswhoar eclosetothem hav ehadt hatt ime
wher ewet houghttooursel vestheywi l
lnever
fi
ndeachot heragai
nbutonceagai nl ove
conquersall
.Lookatt hem theyl ookso
beauti
fulandwai ti
ngf ormet osaysomet hing
stupi
d( )Iwon' t,
wel l
ifther ewasIwoul d
buttodayyout woar ejustper fect .
Lil
ianmy
chil
d,y
ouwer eawi fetomysonev enbef oreany
ofthi
s,youcouldhav ewal kedawaywhen
chall
engesappr oachedbuty oust ayedand
becamemyson' sshoul derofcomf ortandt hat
whatIwanty out wot ocont i
nuet odo, don'
t
changeononeanot herandnev erstopbei ng
bestfri
endstrustmet hatwor ks. Iwishy ouboth
nothi
ngbutthebest .

Shewalksbackt
oherchai
rwhil
epeoplecl
ap
thei
rhandsandmyf
athergi
veshersomethi
ng.
Me:Iknewi
t,t
herewasnowayshecoul
dbe
t
hatnicewi
thoutget
ti
ngsomet
hingi
nret
urn.
Li
ly
: t
hat
'sy
ourmot
her
,youshoul
dknow
bynow.
Clai
re:Okayl
et'
shav eourl
astspeaker
accordi
ngtotheprogrammet henanyonewho
wantstosaysomet hi
ngfeelf
ree.AuntNandi
thefl
oorisyour
s.
Nandi :Well Mot herQueenov erher edida
sterli
ngj obatpr aisi
ngmybestf riendbutIwant
tot aketheat tentiont oherson. Ihav eknown
Lil
ianf oralongt imeandhonest lyMi keIdidn't
thinky ouwoul dmakei tbecauseshei sso
i
ndependentdr iven,
herownopi nionsmat ter
mostbuty ourl ov echangedher .Iknowt here's
i
snowayshedoesn' tdri
vey out odr i
nk
becauseshedoesmebutI 'm onl yher
fri
end,Shei scl i
ngy ,
hasat ti
tudef orday sandi s
ababyatmostbuty ouhav est ay edand
cont i
nuedt ol oveherl ikeshei st heonlyper son
thatmat ters.Whent heyf i
ght,
theyf i
ghthardbut
whent heylov e,
theyl ovetri
plet i
mest hanthey
dof ighti
ng.Youguy sar egoal sandIhopet his
kindofhappi nessal way ssurfaces. .
_
__
Thef l
oorwasuptoeveryoneandsomef ew
peoplecameforwardandt al
ked,
herbrother
s
andmyf ri
endsbutnowt heyweretakinga
breakandther
ewassomedanci ng.Wesawour
NannySlicomingourwaywi thNeli
siwetalk
aboutamomentbei ngruinedbuttheseareour
babies.
Sl
i
:Sor
rymam butshewon'
tst
opcr
yingf
ory
ou.
Li
l
y:(
takesher
) i
tsokay
,heybaby
.
Nel
i
:(babyt
alk)xy
ghj
j
Li
l
y: Unezi
ndaba(
youhav
enews)
Youknowsomet i
mesIt
hinksheunder
stands
thei
rlanguage.
Me:
Wher
ear
etheboy
s?
Sl
i
:Siyaist
aki
nganapandMnqobi
iswi
thy
our
mother
.
Me:
okay
,hel
l
odaddi
espr
incess
Isai
dtaki
ngherfr
om Li
l
ianpl
ayi
ngwi
thherand
shekeptonl
aughi
ng.
Li
l
y:It
hinkt
henextoneshoul
dbeagi
rlt
oo.
Me:
Nextwhat
?
Li
ly:
(bendsdownt
akinghershoesof
f)Your
babythat
'si
nmybell
y.
Isi
tNeli
inmyl apandlookedoveratLynnbut
sheisst
ill
takingoffhershoes,
pleaseGodlet
thi
sbetruenotoneofhert ri
cks.
Shecomes
backupandr ollsherey
es.
Me:
Whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
?
Li
ly
:Isai
dthenextseedt
hat
'sonmybel
l
ymi
ght
beagir
l.
Me:
(l
oudl
y)Youpr
..
..
Shecutsmeof
fbyki
ssi
ngmeandNel
ist
art
s
squeal
i
ng.
Li
l
y:(
pul
l
sout
)notsol
oudl
y,
yesI
'
m pr
egnant
.
Me:
OhhbabyIl
oveyousomuchandt
hankyou
f
ormyki
ds.
Can'
tbel
i
evebaby#5i
sontheway.
Li
l
y: Youhappy
?
Me:Iam ov
erjoyedwit
hhappi
ness,
youknow
howmanyKi dsIwantandwehal
fwaythrough.
IknowIsai dIwant ed10kidsandt hatwasme
beingplay
ful butIthankGodforblessingme
withthem andIcan' twai
ttomeetournew
creati
onandpr obablymor eot
hers.Beinga
fatheri
sagr eatestgif
tevergi
ventomanki nd.

.
.
Clai
re:Okayokayev erybodywehav eanother
guestt hatwant stosaysomet hingaboutt
he
couple,Ithi
nkt hi
sisthesweet estshefl
ewall
thewayacr osscountrytobewi ththem
today.Givey ourhandstogetherfor.
..
.
Lil
ianchokedonherdr inkandmyey eswer e
readytopopoutany t
imesoon.Lil
iangiv esmea
questionablel
ookandIshr ugmyshoul ders
becauseIhadnoi deaaboutthi
s.Promi sewalks
tothepodi um andIseemymot hertry
inggo
wal ktoherbutmydadst opsher .
Shet akesthe
mici nherhand.
Promi
se:
OhhmyGodt hehappi
nessIhav
ef or
mytwofr
iendsi
soutofthi
sworl
d,
whewwi t
s
hoti
nher
eletmetakeofmycoat.
Shet
akesoffhercoatfaci
ngourbackand
i
mmediatel
ysheturnsIswearmywor l
d
cr
umbledasIsawLi l
l
ian'
seyesgett
ingtear
y.
Promise:Well asyoucanseeI'm 3months
pregnantbutImadesur ethatIcametowi t
ness
thelovethatthesetwohave.Ihavenowordsto
descri
bet hei
rlovebuti
tsexciti
ng,
amazingand
conquers.Iwi
shy oubothanamazi ngl
i
feahead.
Sheget
sof
fthepodi
um andev
ery
bodyi
sback
atdanci
ngandchat
ti
ng.
Me:
Lynn.
..
.
Mnqobi
:mamaIdr
ankchampagne!
!
Li
l
y:What
?whogav
eyout
hat
?
Vuyo:I
twasnonalcohol
ic
,congr
atul
ati
onsguys.
Me:
ThanksMan.
Vuyolef
twit
hMnqobi andsi
ncePromi sestunt
Lynnhasnothaveasingl
eeyecontactwithme
andasifmatt
ersweren'
tworseher
ei sPromise
comingourway.
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Promise:
Geezr
elax,
Ihav
eev
eryr
ightt
oseemy
babydaddy.
Me:
Fuckt
hehel
lI
'm not
,(
shout
ing)howt
he.
..
..
Li
l
y: Bot
hofyoustopit
,y
oucandeal
wit
hthi
s
pr
ivatel
ypl
ease(
fakesmil
es)
Promise:Herei
syourweddi
nggi
ft
(pl
acesabox
onthetable)
ShetakeshercoatandleavesandLil
ianopens
theboxandshequi ckl
ypassesittome
becauseitpi
ctur
esofababi esscanandther
e's
alsoamemor ydiskwithi
t.
Li
l
y:I
'
mti
red,
I
'l
ltakeNel
itobed.
Shest oodandl eftwi
thNel iandofcauseto
keept hef acadeonIst ayedbehindand
sociali
sedwi t
hsomepeopl e,aft
erawhile
peoplest artedleavi
ngandIwentt oourroom
andshewasal r
eadyinbedsl eepi
ng.Thi
shas
compl etelyruinedourweddi ngnightandthere'
s
nothingIcandot ofi
xit.
Isitnexttoherandher
breathingr atetel
lsmet hatsheisnotsleeping.
Me:
Baby
??
Li
l
y:Di
dyouusepr
otect
ion?
.
Me:
Lil
i
anbaby
..
..
Lil
y:I'
m guessi
ngthat
'sanot hen,
thi
sismy
weddingnightandIshouldbehappyand
gett
ingthebestfucki
ngofmyl if
ebutlookat
thi
s.Youmadey ourhoepregnantandshe
choosemyweddi ngday(cri
es)toexposeit
..
It
ri
edtot
ouchherbutshepushedmyhand
away.
Me:Babyshei
sly
ing,
that
'spr
obabl
ynotev
en
mybaby.
Lil
y:Shei
snotafoolsheknowyougoingto
takeDNAtestsoshecert
aint
hat'
syourbaby.
Me:Ly
nny
ouar
emypr
ior
it
y,
Idon'
tcar
eabout
her
.
Lynn:
Iknowy oudon'tbutt
hatisyourchi
l
dand
youwil
ltakeresponsi
bil
i
tyfori
tanditsmother
.I
needtobealoneplease.
Me: Whereshoul
dIgo,
peopl
ewill
star
ttal
ki
ng
whenwespendt heni
ghtofourweddi
ng
separat
e.
Lil
y:Whatever
,keepqui
etet
hen,
Idon'
twantt
o
tal
krightnow.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT22
Mi
ke
Todaywear ef l
yingdownt oSwazi landwi ththe
kidsfort heritualsthatmustbedonef orusasa
mar r
iedcoupl e.Theani mosityinmymar r
iage
ri
ghtnowi skil
li
ngme, Lil
ianhasn'tsaidany thi
ng
tomei nthepastt woday sbutIgetl i
ttl
ehope
knowi ngt hatshei sgoi ngtoSwazi landbecause
thatmeansshehasn' tgivenuponus. Icouldt el
l
thatshei shur ti
ngbutshet r
iesever y
thingtobe
notaroundmef orinstanceLi l
i
ani slazyto
wakeupbutl atelyshe'sbeenupev enbef ore
meandSt uckupbi tchPr omisehasbeencal l
i
ng
meev ery5secondsoft heday,nowIknowshe
mightbepregnantwi
thmychil
dbutIwi l
lhav
e
toputheri
nherplaceshewon'
tjustshowup
anddisr
espectmywifeandmyfami l
y.
Ourfl
ighttakesof finanhourandIhav ealr
eady
l
oadedt hebagsi nthecar,
nowi tsti
mef orme
tobuckleupt hekidswellt
hey oungones
becauseClaireisoldenough,speaki
ngofher
shecomeouthol dingthetwi
nsf oodi
ebag.
Me:
Howf
ari
syourmom wi
tht
heki
ds?
Clai
re:
Sheismaki
ngt
hebot
tl
esf
ort
her
oad,
are
youtwookay?
Me:
Yeahwhy
?
Cl
air
e:Yousur
edon'
tactl
i
kenewl
yweds.
Me: Youal
waysr
eadt
omuchi
ntot
hings,
l
etme
checkonher.
Iraninsi
debeforeshecouldevenhitback,l
yi
ng
toClair
eisdif
ficul
tbecausesheisolderand
cantellwhenthingsarenotokayunl
ikeMnqobi
andt
het
wins.
Iwalki
ntothekit
chenandsheisbenddown
taki
ngoffSi
ya'sshor
t,
shelooksr
eal
lyi
rr
it
ated
andIknowI'l
lmakeitworse.
Li
l
y:(
shouti
ng)Mnqobicany
oudownher
enow,
I
won'
trepeatmysel
f.
IseeMnqobi comingdownr unni
ngandli
kethe
smartkidheisherunsstrai
ghtoutsi
detothe
carandNelistar
tstowhinemucht oLynn
i
rri
tat
ion.
Me:
Itsf
ineI
'
llhandl
eher
,j
ustf
ini
sht
hebot
tl
es.
Shedoesn'tr
espondtomeshej
ustshr
ugsher
shoulder
sandstandsupt
ogofi
nishof
fthe
bott
les.
Itakethetwinst
othecarandst
rapthem i
n
theircarseat
sandret
urnbackt
othehouse.
Me:
Thesear
ethebagswegoi
ngwi
th.
?
Li
l
y:(
nods)Mhhh
Iputt
hebagsdownandwal
knextt
oher
.
Me:
Lynnpl
easet
alkt
ome?
Li
l
y:Canwegetthisoveranddonewi
tht
henwe
wi
llt
alkaboutawayforward.
Me:
(conf
used)Wayf
orwar
d?
Li
l
y:Yes
Shesaysput
ti
ngthebottl
esi
nthehandy
warmerandwalksout
,GodknowshowmuchI
missher
.
Il
ockthedoorandever
yonei
salr
eadyint
heir
si
tswait
ingforme.
Ibuckl
eupandstar
tdri
vi
ng
andther
e'ssomuchsil
encei
nthi
scaryoucan
hearafl
ypassesby.
Mnqobi
:Si
sicanwepl
ayt
het
ri
pgame?
Cl
air
e:I
fther
ent
sar
eupf
ori
t,
mom,
Uncl
eMi
ke?
Me:
Nopr
obl
em wi
thme.
Li
l
y:Okay
.
Clai
re:OkayI
'
m start
ing.
..
.I
'
m goingonatr
ipI
'm
packingmyphone,myblueli
pst
ickandgui
tar
.
Mnqobi:I
'
m goingonat ri
pI'
m packingmy
phone,
mybluelipst
ick,
myguitarandmy
fav
ouri
tesni
ckers.
Me:
DoIhav
etor
ecal
lal
lyousai
d?
Them:
Yes
Me:Okay.
.I
'
m goingonat r
ipI'
m packi
ngmy
phone,
my..
.bl
ueli
pst
ick,
guit
ar,myfavouri
te
sni
cker
s,mylovel
yki
dsandbeaut i
fulwif
e.
Weal
ll
ookatLi
l
ianwai
ti
ngf
orhert
opl
ay.
Li
l
y:Ihar
dlyr
ememberany
thi
ngy
ou'
l
lsai
d.
Cl
air
e:Comeonmom
Li
ly
:I'
m goi
ngonat ripI'm packi
ng
my..
phone,
blueli
pst
ick,guit
ar,
..
..
Ohhfav our
it
e
sni
cker
s,mylovel
ykids,mybeaut i
ful
.
..(
looksat
me)wifeandmy( smiles)amazingfami l
yand
mynewestadditi
on.
Shesaystouchingherbel
ly
,goshIhaven'
tseen
thatsmi
lesincethesagaoftheweddingand
beli
evemewhenIsayi tsnotfake,
i
tsgenuine.
Cl
air
e:Wai
t,
hol
dup.
whatnewestaddi
ti
on?
Li
l
y:Exact
lyt
hat
,I
'
m pr
egnantagai
n.
Cl
air
e:What
!!
!!
!
Mnqobi
:What
'spr
egnant
?
Me:
Yourmom,
wehav
inganot
herbaby
.
Mnqobi
:Why
?Weal
readyhav
eNel
iandSi
ya.
Clai
re:
Exact
ly,
MAsomanychi
ldr
enthi
s
young.
Thetwinsar
enotev
enayearol
d?
Lil
y:Firstl
yIdon'
tneedanyone'
sopinionor
j
udgement sonhowmanyki dsItakeoutofmy
vagina,secondl
yIcanver
ymuchaf f
ordto
sustainandmai nt
ainal
lmykidsandy oursel
f
i
ncluded. Thi
rdl
yIam t
heparentaroundhereI
canmakemyowndeci si
onsthanky ouvery
much.
Cl
air
e:(
leansback)Okaygoti
t .
Li
l
y:Anddr
opt
heat
ti
tudet
oo.
Yohht hatwasaqui ckchangeofmood. Clai
re
putonherheadphonesandkepthermout hshut
sowasev eryone.Wecont i
nuedt odr iv
ei n
sil
enceandwer eachedt heai rportandgot
settl
edinsidemyj etandi nt hi
scaseev er
yone
waspr ett
ymuchmi ndi ngt heirown
business..
Thepl anet ookof fandMnqobi
j
umpedi nexcitementI '
m guessi ngt hisis
becausei t
shi sfir
stt imef lying.IhadSi yainmy
l
ap,myl i
ttl
echampi sgr owi ngupt obe
energeti
candIcan' thel pbutsmi l
ebecauseof
theresembl ancet hathehasofme, consideri
ng
thatNelialsolooksl ikemeIhopeourpr i
ncess
canlookl i
keLi l
ian.
Witht
ensionl
iket
hisIdon'tknowhowwewi l
l
beablet
oputonagoodf r
onttopeople.
My
phoneri
ngsandonceagaini t
sPromisejustasI
wasabouttosenditt
ov oi
cemail.
Li
l
y:Answerher
.
Il
ookatherandsheisnotshowi
ngany
emoti
onstothest
atementshehasj
ustsai
d.
Me:
Hel
l
o
Pr
omise:
"Hel
l
obabydaddy
,whyhav
eyoubeen
i
gnor
ingme?"
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Promise:
"Ij
ustwant
edtotel
lyouthatIhav
ea
doctor
sappoint
mentnextweekitwouldbeni
ce
i
fy oucame."
Me:
Not
hanky
ou,
bye.
Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
.
Li
l
y:Whatdi
dshewant
?
Il
ookattheki
dsandt
heyst
il
loccupi
edbyt
hei
r
phones.
Me:
Shehasascannextweeksoshewant
sme
t
obether
e.
Li
l
y:Andy
ouwi
l
lbet
her
e.
Me:Whyar
eyoui
nsi
sti
ngonmebei
ngt
her
efor
her
.?
Li
ly
: Nobodyfor
cedyoutosleepwit
hher
,sowhy
musty oubefor
cedtotakecareoft
hepr
oduct
ofyourpassi
onateni
ght?
Shelookedoutsi
dethewindowandIletherbe,I
cantel
lsheishurti
ngbutshewon'tl
etmei n
andifIhadthi
ngsmywaynonoft hiswouldbe
happening.
Shestar
tsbi
ti
ngherlowerli
pwi t
h
onehandonherbel l
yandIknowsheiscrying.
I
putSiy
adownandsatnextt oherandstil
lsat
thesameway .
Li
l
y :
(sobs)Don'
t,
Idon'
twantt
ogr
abt
heki
ds
at
tenti
on.
Me:Babypl easet
alkt
ome, atl
east
shout
,scr
eam orwhateversothatIcanknow
howyouf eel.
Li
l
y:Idon'
tknowhowIf
eel
,
Idon'
tknowwhatt
o
sayorhowtor eactt
oallt
his.
Iwishthi
sdidn'
t
happenaft
erourwedding,
thisi
salwaysthe
memor yIwil
lhaveofmyweddi ng.
Me:I'
m sor
rymyl
ovenoneoft
hiswasmeantt
o
hur
tyou.
Lil
y:Butitdi
d.Everyonehasal wayssai dI
alwaysactselfi
shandchi ldi
shandrightnow
I'
mt r
y i
ngtobemat uredaboutthissituat
ionand
thi
nkaboutmyki ds,beli
evemeIdon' twantto
dothisIwantt ocryandbei nmyf eeli
ngsli
ke
yousaidshoutorscr eam butI'
mtryingtobe
grown,foraminuteIwant edtoannul t
his
marriagebutIdidn't.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
INSERT22cont
inued
.
.
Mnqobi
:Wowwt
hishousei
sbi
g,i
tlooksl
i
kea
mal
l.
Ilaughathim andhi sfasci
nati
onov erthe
palace,
wellthat
'swhatwecal l
itbecauseits
ratherhugeandonl ytwopeopl eli
veinit
excludi
ngthewor kersbutIknowt odayi t
sfil
l
ed
ast hewholefamilyisgatheredforthi
s
ceremony .
Cl
air
e:Sohowar
ewesupposet
oact
?
Me:Normal
,
ther
e'snot
hingel
i
teaboutt
his
pal
ace.
Clai
re:
ohhokay,
Ithoughtwehadt
obowi
n
fr
ontoftheki
ng.
Ireal
lydonotunder standwhytheyworri
ed
becauset heyareusedt omyparentsbutIhave
toadmitthisplaceisal i
tt
lei
nti
midati
ng.The
twinsaredeadsl eep,
Iguesstheplaneri
de
swangt hem off.
Me:
Lynnar
eyouokay
.?
I
'm aski
ngherbecauseIcanseesheisal
i
ttl
e
bi
tshakenandkeepsfixi
ngherdress.
Li
l
y:Mhhh.
..
.okayhowmanypeopl
ear
eint
her
e?
Me:
I'
m notsur
ebutWedohav equi
teahuge
f
amil
ybutdon'
twor
ryaboutt
hem.
Li
l
y:I
'
m notpr
omi
singt
ocont
rol
mymout
h.
Me:
Iknow,
l
etmecar
ryt
hem i
n.
Iputthetwi
nsonbot hsi
desofmyshoul ders
andwewal kedi
normor elikeescor
tedinwit
h
theki
dsbehindus.I
mmedi atel
ythedooropen
mymot hercamerunningtousbutIquickl
ypull
herbacktry
ingnottowaket heki
ds.
Oneoft
heladi
eswhohelpi
nthehousecame
andt
ooktheki
dsupst
air
s.
Mother
:(t
oCl
air
e)y
ahhGogo,
mybeaut
if
ul
gr
andson.
Shesai
dget
ti
ngadeadst
aref
rom Cl
air
eand
pi
cki
ngupal
aughi
ngMnqobi
.
Cl
air
e:I
tsni
ceseei
ngy
out
oogr
anny
.
Mot
her
:Makot
i,
arey
ouokay
?
Li
ly
: Justal
it
tl
ebitt
ir
ed,
yourgr
andchi
l
drenar
e
eat
ingtheli
feoutofme.
Mother
:Youneedal lt
heenergyt
omorr
ow,so
j
ustgoandr estandyouwil
lmeetther
estof
t
hefamilyatdinner
.
Li
ly
:Hav
eIt
oldy
out
haty
out
hebestmot
heri
n
l
awever
?
Mot
her
:I'
l
lnev
ergett
ir
edofhear
ingi
t.
Iwalkedthem upstai
rsshowingthekidsthei
r
room andwentt ominesandLili
ansand
i
mmedi atel
yIclosethedoorLynnattacksme
withakissandasmuchasIwasshockedI
hangedont hatkissf
oraslongasIcan. She
pull
soutandl aysherheadonmychest .
Li
l
y:Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
I'
mri
ghther
eandImi
ssy
out
oo.
Imov
edov
ert
othebedandshesatonmyl
ap.
Li
ly:I
'm angry
,sad,
upsetandi
rri
tat
edbutI
al
lowedhert oruinourweddi
ngandIwon'tl
et
herrui
nt hi
sceremony .
Wearegoingt
otalk
aboutthisbutfornowthatwehereIwantusto
beusbecauseImi ssmyhusband.
Me:Ilov
eyousomuchandr i
ghtnowIknowI
don'
tdeser
veyouoryourl
ovebutIwi
llf
ixt
his.
I
wil
lfi
xever
ythi
ngandyouandIwil
lbe
okay.
(ki
ssi
ng)
Li
l
y:Ar
etheser
oomssoundpr
oof
ed?
Me:
Yeahal
lbedr
oomsar
e,why
?
Li
l
y:Ineedmyhusbandt
oni
ght
.
OkayIneedsomeonetopinchmer i
ghtnow
becauseIdon'
tunder
standwhathappened
betweenusbeingi
ntheplanet
othismoment
ri
ghthere.
Li
l
y:Okayt
henIneedmynap,
getout
.
Me:
Giv
emeaki
ssf
ir
st.
Li
l
y:No out
.
Il
aughasIwal kedoutandGeezmyhear
twas
happy
.Iwalkedbackdownstai
rsandmymother
waswaiti
ngf orme.
Mom:
Whatdi
dyoudot
oher
?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Mom:
I'
m nof
ool
,
IcanseeLi
l
iani
snotal
ri
ght
.
Me:
Let
'sgoout
side.
Wewal
kout
sidet
othegar
den.
Me:
RememberPr
omi
se?
Mom:Yes,
nowthatwetal
ki
ngaboutherwhat
wast
hatst
untshepul
ledatt
hewedding.
?
Me:
Shei
spr
egnant
.
Mom:
Ever
yoneknowst
hat
.
Me:
Thebabyi
smi
ne.
Mom:
Repeatt
hat
?
Me:
Isai
dthebaby
..
..
..
Mom:Areyoust
upi
d?Don'
tyouknowhowt
o
useaCondom?Orhowtopul
lout
?
Me:MotherIf
eelhor
ri
bleal
readyandIdon'
t
needt
hejudgement.
Mom:Youf
eel
hor
ri
ble?Howdoy
out
hinkLi
l
ian
f
eel
s?
Me: Motherplease,I
'
mt ryi
ngmybesttofi
x
thi
s.Thelastt
hingIwanti sforhert
obe
str
esseddur i
ngt hepregnancy.
Mom:(sl
apsme)howi nt
hehellar
ey ougoi
ng
t
ocareaboutherst
ressl
evel
sinsteadofyour
wi
fe'
s.
?
Me:OuchhImeantLi
l
ianmot
her
,shei
sal
so
pr
egnant.
Mom:
ahhhhy
ouneedpr
ayer
s.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT23
Li
l
ian
Iabr
upt
lywakeupf
rom t
hei
ntenseshaki
ng
fr
om Mi
ke.
Me:
mhhhwhat
?
Mike:Morni
ngtoyout
oo,
thel
adi
esar
ewai
ti
ng
f
ory oudownst
air
s.
Me:
Whatt
imei
sit
?
Mi
ke:
3am .
Me:Ohhhell
no,
aret
heycr
azy?Whatam I
supposet
odoat3am ?
Mi
ke:
Wakeup,
Idon'
tknowwhatt
heydo.
Me:(
get
tingup)Ukul
oyanj
elokhu(
Thi
sis
wi
tchcr
aft)
.
Mike:Andy
ouwi
l
lbepar
toft
hepr
act
ise
(
laughs)
Me:Youonthi
niceal
ready,
Idon'
tknowwhat
youl
aughi
ngat.
Imademywayt othebathroom notshowerbut
tof i
xmyf ace, Iwast ol
dnottobat hunti
lthe
ri
tual i
sov er.Idon'tknowwhatr it
ualisdoneat
3am i nthemor ni
ngt hi
sispurewitchcraf
tI'
m
tell
ingyou.Iputonmydr essandadoekwi t
hmy
sleepersandwhenIwal kbacktoMi kehe's
alreadybacki nhi ssleep,howniceofhim
becauseIr eal
lyneedmi ne.
Me:
Mzi
??
Mi
ke:
Iknewy
ouwer
egoi
ngt
owakemeup.
Me:
Younotcomi
ngwi
thme?
Mike:
Nope,
that
'
swomanst
affI
'
llseey
oui
nan
hour.
Het
hinkst
hisi
saj
okeandi
tsnotf
unny,
Ihav
e
neverwokenupt hi
searl
yall
myl if
e.Imakemy
waydownst ai
rsandofcausetheauntsandmy
mot heri
nlawarealr
eadywaiti
ngformeand
theylookmightnor
mal ,
i
sthisthei
rdail
yrout
ine
orwhat ?
AuntSwazi
:Ohhf
inal
l
ythepr
incessi
sher
e.
Idon'
tknowwhatt hiswoman' spr
obl em i
sbut
shedidnotl ikemef r
om thegetgoandIt el
l
youdinnerlastnightwashorri
blebecauseshe
keptonhav ingnastycomment sand
stat
ement s.Herbehav i
orisahardadj ust
ment
consider
inghowev er
yoneinthisfami l
yadores
meandshebet t
erprayI'
vegrownj ustabit
becausetheol dmewoul dbet el
li
ngherwher e
togetoff.
Maria:Swazij
ustst
opi
nI'
m noti
nthemoodf
or
yourtact
ics.
Swazi
:Idon'
tevenunderst
andwhywedoi
ng
thi
sbecauseshewon'
tlast.
Mar
ia:
Ladi
escanwegopl
ease.
?
Ever
yonest
art
edwal
kingtothecarandwe
dr
oveforal
ong15minuteint
osomedesert
ed
ar
ea.
Me:
Whatar
ewedoi
ngher
e,i
tssocol
d.
Mar
ia:
Weher
e,Ineedy
out
ocomewi
thme.
Shepulledmeoutoft hecarandwest ar
tedt
o
walktowardst helake.Shetookoffmydoek
andwest artedwal ki
nginsi
dethewaterandi
t
wasdamnt oocol dandweseemedt obe
getti
ngdeeperbecauset hewat erwasnow
reachi
ngmyt highs.
Mar
ia:
Bri
ngmet
hecal
abash.
Oneoftheaunt sal
sojoi
nedusont hewater
withacalabashandtheystar
tedcal
li
ngout
thei
rcl
annamesandt el
li
ngtheancestor
sI
guessthatIam nowpartofthefamil
y.
Mar
ia:
Closey
ourey
es.
Idi
dasshesai dandi mmediatelyIfel
t
somethingsplashi ngf r
om myheadandI
al
mostt hr
ewupf r om itssmel
l andasIt r
yt o
hol
dmybr eathfrom t hesmellI'
mt hrowndeep
i
ntothewat erandt hesebit
chesar eactual
ly
hol
dingmedown. Ifightmywayt osur f
ace
underthewat erandt hei
rhol
dist oomuch, di
dI
comeher etobeki ll
ed? .
Theyf
inal
l
ypull
meupandIcoughi
npai
nasI
si
tdowntryi
ngt
ocat
chmybreat
h.
Me:
Arey
ouol
dh.
..
(mar
iacov
ersmymout
h)
Mar
ia:
Ayyy
ourmout
h,st
opwhi
ningl
et'
sgo.
Me:
Whatt
hehel
lj
usthappened?
Mari
a:Youcangeti
nthecar,
Ineedami
nut
e
wi
thher.
Theauntsgoti
nsidethecarandshehelpedme
standupandcoveredmewi t
habl anket
becauseIwasshiver
ingfr
om thecold.
Maria:Usoldhag'swerenottr
yingtokil
l
you,
thatishowint hi
sfamil
ywei nt
roducea
newbr i
deespecial
lythosewhohavealready
giv
enuschi l
dren.
Me:
Thatisdai
l
ywi
tchcr
aft,
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
methen?
Mar
ia:
Youwoul
dn'
thav
ecomei
fIdi
d,y
ourass
i
sspoi
lt.
Me:Youknowy ouof
fici
all
ymymothersoy
ou
notsupposet
otalkt
omel iket
hat.
Mar
ia:
I'
ll
tal
ktoy
ouanyhowgogo.
Me:(
laughs)Ibel
iev
ethat'
syoudear
,whatmor
e
sur
prisesshoul
dIexpect?
Maria:Nothi
ng,wear edonewit
ht hebigone
.Nowi tsj
ustthecelebr
ati
ngstuffwhich
remindsmet hattodayIhavet
obeonmybest
behaviori
nfrontofthecommunity.
Me:
You?Onbestbehav
ior
?Ihav
etoseet
his.
Mari
a:Onaseri
ousnot
e,howar
ethi
ngs
bet
weenyouandMziwonke?
Me:
I'
m col
d,l
et'
stal
kaboutt
hisatt
hehouse.
Mar
ia:
Okay
.
Wewal kedbackt othecaranddrovebackt o
thehouseandwhenwear rivedt
hereoneoft he
mai dswasal readyupmaki nguscoff
ee,thisis
abusei ts4:30inthemorningandshe'salready
maki ngtea.Theauntsheadingupstai
rsIguess
tofinishoffsomeoft hei
rsleepandhereIwas
stuckher ewithmymot herinlaw.
Mar
ia:
(tot
hemai
d)Thanky
ou.
Me:
Thati
sabuse,
shewakesupt
hisear
ly?
Maria:
Ohhpl easet
hatisnothi
ng.Theygetpai
d
morethanenough,wepayf ortheirki
ds
educati
onandmedi cal
aidsogoi nganext
ra
mil
ewon' thurt
.
Me:
Youdoal
lthat
?
Mar
ia:
I'
m nott
hathear
tl
ess,
sol
et'
stal
k.
Me:
Wet
alki
ng.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
an.
Me:
Okayf
ine,
MikeandIar
etempor
ari
l
yokay
.
Mar
ia:
Whatdoest
hatmean?
Me: Idon'tknowhowt odealwiththisPr
omi se
i
ssue, Ialr
eadyforgavehimforsleepi
ngwith
herbutt hi
sistoomuchandi fIdenyhima
chanceofbei ngthereforhi
schil
dhewi l
lresent
meandt hat'
snotthekindofmar ri
ageIwant .
Mari
a:Takeyourtimeandt
hinki
tthr
oughbut
al
lIknowisthatyouandMikel
oveeachot
her
somucht ol
etthatwomancomebetweenyou.
Me:May beIshouldbeopentot
heidea,
Imean
heacceptedmyt wokidst
hatar
en'
thissowhy
can'
tIaccepthi
s.
Mari
a:Nowy oubei
ngstupid,
thosear
etwo
di
ff
erentt
hings.
Youar
eallowedtobeangr
y
becauset
hatbabywasconcei
vedwhil
ehewas
sti
l
lwithy
ouandwenay ouhadyourki
dsbef
ore
youevenknewhim.
Me:Thisissuchahor
ri
blewayt
ostarta
marr
iageanditmakeswanttoi
ndul
gein
al
cohol.
Mar
ia:
Andki
l
lmygr
andchi
l
d?
Me:
Youknow?
Mari
a;HoneyIknowever
ythi
ng,
sother
ewon'
t
beanytensi
onbetweeny
outwotoday?
Me:Nope,
Ican'
twai
ttoseey
oubei
ngal
lfor
mal
t
oday.
Mar
ia:
(laughs)Voet
sek
Ist
oodupfrom t
hechai
randkissedhercheek
andwasheadi
ngupthestai
rs.
Mari
a:Thecel
ebr
ati
onst
art
sat11soy
ourl
azy
assbet
terber
eady.
Ismi
l
edt
omysel
fknowi
ngIhadaf
ewhour
sof
sleep,thismar riagemi ghtbei nt roubler ight
nowbutIam gl adt hatIhav enotonl ygai neda
mot herbutaf ri
endal so. Iwal kpastt heki ds
room andt heyar esleepi ngsopeacef ul andI'
m
notaboutt odisturbt hem. Iwal kbackt ot he
room andMi keisst i
l
l sleepi ngIf eel mysel f
reali
singahugesi gh.IlovemyhusbandandIdo
wantust omov epastt hisbutIt hinkt he
biggesti ssueaboutt hisisPr omi se.Wi ththi
s
pregnancyofher sshei sal way sgoi ngt obei n
myf ace, shewi lltr
yev er ythingi nherpowert o
hav eMi ke'sattentionthat 'swhatIcannotdeal
with.Iputt heblanketont hechai randt akeoff
mywetdr essandgoti nsidet hesheet sand
Mi keinstantlyjumps.
Mi
ke:
Shi
tyousocol
d.
Me:
Itsy
ourf
aul
t,hol
dme.
Hechangeshissleepi
ngposi
ti
onandsl
eepson
hi
sbackandpullsmei nhi
schestandIwrap
mysel
faroundhim.
Mi
ke:
Yougood?
Me:
Youj
ustsai
dthatl
i
kesomehi
phopr
apper
.
Mi
ke:
Real
l
y?
Me:
Mhh,
I
'm goodbaby.
Mike:Il
oveyouLil
i
anandIappreci
ate
ever
ythi
ngyoudof orme,gi
vi
ngmemykids
andalwayssuppor
tingme.
Me:Il
oveyoutoobutbabet
hischi
l
dist
hel
ast
oneI'
m al
lst
ret
chedout.
Mi
ke:
Mhhhk
Me:
Mikedon'
t"Mhhhk"me,
I
'm ser
ious.
Mike:
Babygetsomesl
eepy
ouwi
l
lbeony
our
f
eetallday
.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT24
Thecer emonywentamazi ngwi thnodr ama
thankheav ensandImustsayIl ov ehowt he
communi t
ycomest ogethert ocelebrat
e
althoughmymot herinlawwasi rrit
atedtot he
cor ebecauseshewasact i
ngl i
keapr oper
Queenshoul danditwaski ndoff unnyt owat ch
.Ther ewasnot hi
ngmucht hatwasdone, itwas
j
ustpeopl eeatinganddr inkingIguesst he
biggerporti
onoft heceremonywast helake
par tt
hatwasdonei nthemor ni
ngandwhat
sur pr
isedmewasMi kesitt
ingwi thotherman
oft hecommuni tyandact uallyspeaking
Isi
Swat iwhichIhavenev erhear dbef oreandhis
tonewassexyashel l
.
-
--
Iabrupt
lywakeupf r
om mysleepfoll
owi
ngthe
i
ntensepaininmyabdomi nal
area,It
ryt
oget
upbutIfallbackdownbecauseoftheback
painsandthecrampsarebecomingmor e
str
onger.It
ryonemor et
imetostandupbut
onceagai nasharppai nhitsandIst art
breathi
ngheav i
lytouchingmybel l
yandIbegi n
tofeelsomet hi
nggoi ngdownmyl egsand
whenIl ookdownt ear sswel l
upinmyey esand
thepainget sworse.Ibalanceont hebedt r
ying
towakeMi keupasmor ebl oodleav esmybody
butheisdeadasl eep* damnhi sdrinking*
Me:
(cr
ying)ahhhMi
ke!
!!
!
Hedoesn'
tmov eandthepai
nincr
easesand
i
nvol
untar
il
yIscream andhestar
tst
osturup
f
rom hi
ssleepandIpathiminpai
n.
Mi
ke:
(dr
ousi
l
y)What
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:Ahhhhmhhwakeup(
int
ensepai
n)
AHHHHHHHHH!!
!
Iscr
eam agai
nmoreloudernowandhequickl
y
j
umpst omysideandhiseyespopoutasheis
seeshowmuchbloodisont hebedandonmy
l
egs.
Mi
ke:
Nonono!
!!t
hisi
snothappeni
ng.
.
.
Mi
ke
Myey espopoutasInot icet heamountof
bloodont hebedandonherl egs, herScr eams
tellmeshei sindeeppai n.Ipi ckherupand
wal koutofourr oom luckilyev eryonei sstil
l
sleepingIdon' thavetimet oexpl aintot hem.I
putheront hebacksi toft hecarandshe' s
cryingloudl ywhi leIdriveont hehighestspeed
youhav eev erseent ot hehospi tal.
Ifinall
y
reacht hehospi t
al r
unningi nsi dewi t
hherand
theyrusht ousIguesst hebl oodcaughtt heir
attenti
on, theyputheri nt hest roll
ersand
quicklyrushwi thherint her oom l eavingme
outsideandr i
ghtnowmyner v esareatshot
becauseIdon' tknowwhat 'sgoi ngwi thherand
Imeanshei spregnantandIknowpr egnant
womandon' tgot otheirper iodsandev ensoI
hav enev erseensomuchbl ood. .
(
3hourl
ater
)
Ist
andupfrom t
hechai
rast
hedoct
orcomes
mydir
ect
ion.
Dr
:Li
l
ianDi
mba?
?
Me:
Yes,
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Dr
:Iassumey
ouar
eherhusband?
Me:
Yes,
i
ssheokay
?
Dr
:Shei
sbutshehadami
scar
ri
age.
Me:
excuseme,
what
?
Dr:
Sirshel
ostt
hebaby
.
Me:
Ihear
dyout
hef
ir
stt
ime,
why
?
Dr:Thei
mplantat
ionoftheeggintot
heuter
ine
l
ini
ngdidnotoccurproperl
ydueto
chromosomalabnormali
tywhichdamagedthe
egg.
Me:
CanIseeher?
Dr
:Nopr
obl
em butwehav
etokeepherher
efor
atl
eastaday.
Me:
Why
?Shehasal
readyl
ostt
hebaby
.
Dr:YesIunder standyourf r
ust r
ati
onsirbuther
bodydidnotexpel l
allt
het i
ssuesowehadt o
perfor
m adi l
ationandcur ettageprocedurei
n
ordertostopthebl eedingandpr event
i
nfecti
ons. Sowest i
ll
havet omonitorthe
bl
oodf lowandt henwewi llgivehersome
prescr
ibedmedi cat
iontotakehome.
Me:Shewi
l
lbeokayt
hough?Di
dheragehav
e
any
thi
ngwi
ththi
s?
Dr:
Shewil
lbe,
andnoheragehadnot
hingtodo
t
hisshei
ssti
ll
perf
ect
lyheal
thyt
ohavekids.
Me:
Okay,
thanky
ou.
Imademywayt oherwardandasmuchasI
am hurttooIhavetobestr
ongforher .
Iopen
doorandshei ssl
eepi
ngonhersidef acingt
he
otherdi
recti
onandhersli
ghtsobstellmesheis
awake.Imov etohersi
deandshecl osesher
ey
eswi
pinghert
ear
s.
Me:
BabyIam sosor
ry.
Li
l
y:Ineedt
obeal
onepl
ease.
Me:
Don'
tpushmeaway.
Li
l
y:Pl
ease(
wipeshert
ear
s)
Istandupandki ssherf oreheadandmakemy
wayt othedoorandl ef
t.Iknowshei shurt
ing
andIwi l
lgiveherthespacesheneeds, Iwil
l
comebackl at
erri
ghtnowIneedt ogohome
andchangebecausemycl otheshaveblood
stainsandhonestlyIalsoneedsomet i
met o
my selft
odigestalloft
hi s.Idri
vebackhome
andasi ftheyall
knewwhatwasgoi ngonIfind
everyonesi t
ti
ngont heloungeandassoonasI
walkinmymot hercomest omeandherey es
wonderar oundmybl oodycl othes.
Mom:What
sgoingon,
wesawt
racesofblood
comi
ngf
rom y
ourbedr
oom?WhereisLi
l
ian?
Cl
air
e:Wher
eismom?
Me:
Shei
sint
hehospi
tal
...
Al
l
:What!
!!
!?
Me:
Shehadami
scar
ri
ageear
li
ert
hismor
ning.
Dad:
Shewaspr
egnant?
Cl
air
e:I
ssheokay
?
Me:
Emoti
onal
l
ynobutshewi
l
lbedi
schar
ged
t
omorr
ow.
Mom:
Ineedt
oseeher.
Me:
Shesai
dshewant
stobeal
one.
Mom:Noonemustbeal
oneatt
hist
ime,
I
'm
goi
ng.
Me:
Fine,
aret
heki
dsupy
et?
Cl
air
e:Theyar
e.
Iwalkedupst
air
stothekidsroom andt
he
nannywasplayi
ngwiththem ,
letmegotakea
showerthenIcanbewit
hmyki ds.
.
.
TBC
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
Inser
t24cont
inued
.
.
Li
l
ian
Tear skeepf l
owingf rom myey es,IDontknow
whet herI'
m saddenedbyt hel ossofy etagain
anot herbabyort hefactthatIhav efai
ledto
carrymyhusbandschi ld.
Ididn' thavethe
strengthtotalktohi m earl
ierbecauseIknow
howmuchhewant skidsandIf ail
edatgivi
ng
him one.Idon'tthinkIcanbearl oosinganother
childagain,t
hisiswhatpeopl edonotgetabout
Miscar ri
ages,yesi t
sjustaf oet usbutthat
foetushasy ourhear tandspi ritandwheni tdies
i
tgoeswi thapar tofy outhatcannev erbe
r
epai
redwell
Ihavel
ost4par
tsofmysel
fto
mydeadbabi
es.
Il
ooktot
hesi
deasthedoct
orent
ersandi
ts
act
ual
l
ygoodti
mingIhav
esomethi
ngtoask
hi
m.
Dr
:Mr
sDi
mba.
Ial
mostlookedar
oundwhenhesaidt
hatI
'
m
sti
l
lnotusedtomynewlastname.
Me:
Hidoct
or.
Dr:
Ijustwant
edtoknowify
ouhav
ebeen
havi
nganypainorbl
eedi
ng?
Me:
No,
Ifeel
numb.
Dr:
Ohhthat'
sgoodt hen,youshoul
dbefr
eeto
gohomelatertodaythenandonceagai
nI'
m
sor
ryaboutyourloss.
Me:Yougetusedtocontr
oll
i
ngyouremoti
ons
aboutsucht
hingsaf
terl
oosi
ng4babies.
Dr
:Youhav
ehadMi
scar
ri
agesbef
ore?
Me:
Yest
hreebef
oret
hisone.
Dr
:Doy
ouhav
eki
dst
hathav
esur
viv
ed?
Me:
Yes,
fouract
ual
l
y.CanIasksomet
hing.
?
Dr
:Any
thi
ng.
Me:
Iwantt
odoaTubal
Lit
igat
ion,
cany
oudoi
t?
Dr:
Yousuremam,ImeanIunder
standwhaty ou
goi
ngthr
oughbutdon'
tmakehastydeci
sions.
Me:I'
m not,
Iwasactual
l
ythi
nki
ngabouti
t
bef
oreIgotpregnant
.
Dr:Thepr
ocedur
ecanbedonebutbecauseyou
j
usthadaD&Cy ouwil
lhav
etowaitatl
east
t
hreeweekstodoit
.
Me:
Okay,
thanky
ou.
Dr
:Pl
easur
e,I
'
llcomecheckony
oul
atert
hen.
Hetookhi
swr i
ti
ngpadandl ef
tandIknowtying
mytubesi
sabi gdeci
sionbutI'
m donehavi
ng
ki
ds,howI
'm goi
ngtotellMi
keallofthi
sIhave
noIdeabutIam doi
ngit.
Thedoorswi
ng
opensagainandthi
sti
mearoundi
tsMari
a,ay
y
I
'mrealinnomoodt obear
oundpeopl
ewho
wil
lpit
ymer i
ghtnow.
Mar
ia:
HeyKot
i?
Me:
Hima
Mar
ia:
Howar
eyouhol
dingup?
Me:
I'
m okayIguess.
Mar
ia:
(si
tsdown)Losi
ngachi
l
disnev
ereasy
.
Me:
Tryl
osi
ng4,
I
'm okayr
eal
l
y.
Mar
ia:
4?Idi
dn'
tknowy
oul
ostki
dsbef
ore?
Me:
Idi
d.
Maria:
Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
usi
mmedi
atel
yyou
f
eltpain?
Me:It
houghtitwaspassi
ng,
andIdi
dn'
twant
t
orui
ntheeventyest
erday
.
Mar
ia:
OhhLi
l
ian.
Me:
Don'
twor
ryaboutme,
I
'mf
ine.
Maria:
HowcanInotwor
ryabouty
ouwhenyou
l
yingtomyf
acepret
endi
ngtobeokaywhen
younot.
Me: Youknowi nl i
feyouchosewhaty ouwant
butbeingamot herisfatechosenf
ory ouand
whent hatistakenawayf r
om youi
tbecomes
uselesstocryov eritbecausethet
earswill
neverreplacethebrokenhear t
.
Mar
ia:
youmaki
ngmeemot
ional
.
Me:
(l
aughs)y
ounev
erceaset
oamazemey
az.
Mar
ia:
Itsgoodt
oseey
oul
aughi
ng.
Me:
Wher
eisy
ourson?
Mar
ia:
Whi
chone?
Me:
Real
l
y?Myhusband.
Mar
ia:
He'
sathomewi
tht
heki
ds.
Me:
Ifeel
badf
orki
cki
nghi
m outear
li
erImean
hel
ostachi
l
djustl
i
keIdi
d.
Mari
a:Hedidseem downasexpect
edbuty
our
pai
ncan'tbecomparedt
ohis,
youhadan
i
nter
nalbondwitht
hechil
d.
Me:
Igety
ou,
canIusey
ourphonet
ocal
lhi
m?
Mari
a:Sur
e,here(
handsmet
hephone)I
'
llgoget
ussomecof f
ee.
Iwai
tedforhertoleav
eandthendi
all
edhi
s
numberanditrangafewti
mesbeforehe
pi
ckedup.
Mi
ke:
"mot
her
"
Me:
Heyi
tsme.
Mi
ke:
"Ohhy
ouokay
?"
Me:
Iam buthowar
eyou?
Mike:
"babyyouknowyourwellbei
ngcomes
f
ir
sttome, i
fyouokaythenIam t
oo."
Me:
Cany
oucomeback?Ineedy
ouher
ewi
th
me.
Mi
ke:
"I
'
llber
ightt
her
e"
Me:
okay.
Idr
oppedt
hecal
landMar
iacameback.
Mar
ia:
Soy
ourboy
fri
endi
scomi
ng?
Me:Idon'
thaveaboy
fri
end,
Ihav
eahusband
t
hankyouverymuchandyeshei
scomi
ng.
Mar
ia:
Ihav
etogot
hen.
Me:
Mhhst
ayunt
ilhear
ri
ves.
Mari
a:Youknowi
twouldber
eal
l
ygoodt
ohav
e
youguysher
emoreof
ten.
Me:
Wewi
l
lcomev
isi
t.
Mar
ia:
Imeantper
manent
ly.
Me:
Excuseme?
Mar
ia:
Youhear
dme.
Me:
Not
hanky
ou,
Il
ovemyl
i
fewher
eiti
s.
Mar
ia:
Imagi
nehowni
cei
twoul
d..
..
.
Me:
Not
hankI
'
m per
fect
lyf
inewher
eIam.
Mar i
a:Youcanbesuchamoodki l
ler
somet i
mes, butonaser iousnotethoughIam
gladyouandMi kewi l
lgothroughthi
stogether
andnotpusheachot herawayandwi t
hGods
will
youwi l
lbebl essedwi t
hanotherchil
dand
youwi l
lrai
seitlikeyouhav ebeendoingwith
theother.
Icringedatherl astwor dsknowi ngv erywell
thatIwi llneverhav ekidsagai nbecauseas
muchasIl oveMi keIam notWi ll
ingt oputmy
selfint hi
sposi ti
onagai nandI 'm stil
lundeci
ded
onwhet hertot ellhi
m aboutmypl ansornot
andi fIdot ellhim hewi ll
t r
yandt alkmeoutof
i
tandi fhef i
ndsoutatal aterstaget hatwill
alsost artwor l
dwar| ||
buty ouknowwhatt hisi
s
mychoi ceanddeci si
onhewi l
l j
usthav eto
under standbutI 'm goi
ngt hroughwi t
ht he
procedur ewhet herheappr ovesornot.
[
04/
27,
19:
57]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT25
Li
l
ian
(
2weeksl
ater
)
Isi
ghloudl yasIpl acet heplasti
cbagsont he
ki
tchencount er,
beingahousewi fei sreall
y
dif
fi
cult,t
akingcar eoft hekidsandt hehousei s
afullt
imej ob. Butatleastforthenext20hour s
orsoI'mf reebecauseJesst ookt hem fora
sl
eepov eratherhousebutIwon' tl i
eIal r
eady
missmybabi es. Si
ncet odayi t
sjustmeandmy
hubby-bearI'
m goi ngt ocookal lofhi sfavour
it
e
andjusttreathi mf orbeingsuchagood
husbandt omebutf i
rstlyIneedashower ,
Iwalk
uptoourbedr oom andIal mostgetahear t
att
ackasInot i
ceMi kesi t
ti
ngatt heedgeoft he
bedandhi sf acialexpressiontell
smeI 'm
deali
ngwith"Danger"t
hedeadl ycharact
er,i
nall
honesteversi
ncethemi scar
riagewehav en'
t
tal
kedmuchabouti torthefactthatpromiseis
sti
l
lpregnant.
Me:
Whendi
dyougetback?
Mike:
Sowhenwereyouactuall
ygoi
ngtotel
l
meabouty
ourpr
ocedurethat'
shappeni
ngnext
week?
Irai
semyey esinshockofhowheknewt hat
butnowi snott
hetimetoask.
Hetal
kingabout
theprocedur
eoftyi
ngupmyt ubeswhichisset
fornextweek.
Me:
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)Iwasgoi
ngt
otel
lyou.
Mike:When?Whent
hepr
ocedur
eisal
ready
done?
Me:
Nobut
..
..
Mike:Whyar
eyoul
yi
ngtome,
youwer
enot
goingt
otel
lmewer
eyou?
Me:
No
Mike:Atl
eastyouhonestaboutsomet
hing,
go
aheadwit
hy ourpl
ans.
Me:
(Shocked)What
??Younotmad?
Mike: Whyshoul
dI?Lili
anImeannothi
ngto
you,soy ourl
i
fedeci
sionsarey
ourchoi
ce.
The
f
actt hatwemarri
eddoesn'tmatt
ert
oyou.
Me: Thati
snottrue,
youaremyhusbandandI
acknowledgeourmarri
age.
Mike:
Noy oudon't
,Ifyoudidyouwouldhav e
donewhatawi f
edoesandt hatistositdown
wit
hherhusbandandt al
kaboutt hi
snotgo
behi
ndhisbackmaki ngdecisi
onsthatcoul
d
al
soaffecthi
m.
Shi
tI'
mindeepend,
hisv
oicei
sgetti
ngdeeper
anddeeperandhei
semphasi
singever
yword.
Me:I'
m sorr
yit
sjustt
hatIknowhowmuchy ou
wantkidsandIcoul
dn'
tstanddi
sappoi
nti
ngyou
agai
n.
Mike:
Ohhwowsonowy
out
hinkIbl
amey
ou
f
orourloss?
Me:Ican'
tMike,Ihavel
osttoomanybabies
andifsomet
hingliket
hishappensIdon'
tthi
nkI
cansurvi
vei
t.
Mike:(
standsup)Whatam It
oyou?Your
husbandoryourroommat
e?
Ihonestl
yhatethi
smomentIf eel l
i
keachild
beingrepri
mandedfordoi
ngsomet hi
ngwrong
,Imov ebackasheisapproachingmeunt i
lIhit
thewall.
IknowMikewouldnev erhitmebut
whenhei sli
kethi
sIalway
sf i
ndi tbestt
obef ar
from hi
m.
Mike:Whydoyoual
way
sdot
hat
?Yout
hinkI
'
m
goingtohi
tyou?
Me:
No
Mi
ke:
Youknowwhati
sdi
ff
icul
taboutl
ovi
ng
y
ou?
Ishakemyheadno,andri
ghtnowhei
srighti
n
fr
ontofmeandhisbreat
hingi
scalm,
heputs
hishandsont
hewallsor
tofcagi
ngmein.
Mike:Thi
s,y
ouri ndependency.Lil
i
anwear e
marri
edandt hatmeanswhat everdeci
sionswe
takeespeci
all
ybi goneswesupposet otalkf
ir
st
andyounotdoi ngthatprocedure.
Me:
What
?Mi
kebut
..
.
Mike:
Itwasnotupf
ordi
scussi
on,
cal
lthe
hospi
tal
nowandcancel
it.
Ipushhi
m awayandwal
kedt
othebed.
Me:Andyoujustl
ectur
edmeaboutt
alki
ng
t
hingst
hroughbuthereyouar
ecommanding.
Mike:Welli
fyouhadbot
her
edtal
ki
ngt
omeI
wouldn'
thavetomakecommands.
Me:Iam goi
ngthr
oughwit
hitandt
her
e's
not
hingyoucandoabouti
t.
Mike:(
snaps)Fucki
tLi
li
an,ifyoudon'
twantmy
ki
dsjustsaysoandIwon'tgetyoupregnantI
'
ll
fi
ndsomeoneel set
obearthem forme.
Iwon'
tl
iewhenhesai
dthatIf
rozei
nhur
tand
i
mmediatel
yIf
eltt
ear
y.
Me:Ohhy oumeanPromise,
youal
readymade
herbeary
ourbabysoitwon'
tbethefir
stt
ime.
Mi
ke:
BabyIdi
dn'
tmeant
osayt
hat
.
Me: Noyoumeantitandyouknowwhatit
sfi
ne
,goandf i
ndl
oadsofwomant ocarr
yyour
chi
ldrenangi
thi
that
'swhatyouwant.
Mi
ke:
No,
Iwanty
out
ocar
rymybabi
es.
Me:(cri
es)Ican'
t,
Mzi
wonkeI
'
m 43not26I
can'
tbepoppingbabi
esl
i
keamachi
ne,mybody
can'
ttakeit.
Mi
ke:
Thedoct
orsai
dyouragei
snotaf
act
or.
Me:Idon'
twantanymor
eki
ds,Iam t
ir
ed.
Igav
e
youtwoki
dswhatmoredoyouwant?
Mike:Sothedeci
siont
onothav
eki
dsi
ssol
ely
dependentonyou?
Me: Mikear
eyouev enl
ist
eningtome?Fi neage
mightnotbeafactorbutIj
ustdon'thavet he
str
engthofhavi
nganotherchil
d,Iam already
str
ainedwit
htheseones.BabyIknowy ouwant
dozensofkidbutt
hatisnotpossible.
Lookat
meIcanhar dly
evenrecogni
semybody.
Geeet
hankGodI'
mfi
nal
l
ygett
ingt
hrought
o
hi
m,hesi
tsnextt
omeandhol
dsmyhand.
Mike:Idon'
tcar
eabouty
ourl
ooks,
Li
li
anIl
ove
youthewholeyou.
Me:Il
ovey
out
oo
Mike: Butwearegoi
ngtohaveaprobl
em i
fyou
continuedoingt
his,
youusedtotr
ustmewith
anythingIdon'
tknowwhatchangednow.
Me:Howispromi
seandt
hebabyIknowy
ou
wentt
ocheckher
.
Mike:
Nodon'tchanget
hesubj
ect
,pr
omi
sei
s
notafact
orr
ightnow.
Me:Sheis,wecan'tkeeppretendi
ngshe
doesn'
texi
storthefactthatsheispr
egnant
.
Mike:Canwedeal
withthatl
aterbecauseri
ght
nowI(hecomesclosertomeunbut t
oningmy
shi
rt)wantt
omakelovetomywi fe.
Me:
ButI
..
..
Mi
ke:
(ki
ssi
ngmyneck)Shhhst
opt
alki
ng.
Isav ourint
othemomentasheni bblesaround
myneckwi thhislefthandonmybr east.
I
hav en'
thadmymansaf fectionformor ethan
twomont hsmay bet hi
sisal lIneedrightnow
.Ourl i
psconnectandhegi vesmesl oppy
kisseswhi lehestandsupandpushesmei n
themi ddleofthebedget tingont opofmeand
mycl i
timmediatelygetsat angle,Iguessthe
hoei nmehasbeenst ar
vingf oralongt i
me.We
cont i
nuekissi
ngashi shandget sundermy
sweatpantsinstant
lyrubbingmynowwet
vaginaandwi t
hnowar ningheslidestwoofhi
s
fi
ngersroughlyandImoani nt
othekiss.He
start
smov i
nghi sfi
ngersslowlyandthatis
driv
ingmecr azy.
Mike:Yourcr
azyassneedt
oknowrespectand
youaregoingtost
opunder
mini
ngmeasy our
husband.
Hemighthavesai
dhewantst
omakel ov
ebutI
hav
eaf eel
i
ngI'
m aboutt
obefuckedr
ealhar
d.
Me:
Mhhhokay,
Iwi
l
l.
Hegoesf
ast
erandIl
osemysenseoft
hinki
ng.
Mike:
Younotget
ti
ngy
ourt
ubest
iedei
thergot
i
t?
Me:MhhahhOkayIwon'
tnowpl
easegi
veme
whatIwant
.
Hewastesnot
imei
nget
ti
ngmenakedand
goi
ngst
rai
ghtt
ohi
smeal.
Heopensmyfol
ds
withhist
onguesendingmet oecstasy,
he
start
seati
ngmeoutwhi lef
ingerfucki
ngme
andmymoansar egett
ingl
ouderthankgodt
he
ki
dsar enother
e.
Me:
(moani
ng)AhhhBabyahhhhhh
Iscream asIf eel mybodyt ensi nguptomy
l
ongawai tedorgasm andhegi vesmenot i
me
tobr eathashecont i
nuest oeatmeoutdur ing
theor gasm maki ngitmor epl easurabl
e.He
l
icksmecl eanandcomesbackupandki sses
memaki ngmet astemysel fwhi l
emyhands
unbuckl edhi sbeltf eeli
nghi smanhood
strokingi tandIseehi m ki
ssingmedownt omy
breastbutIst ophi m becauset heyhav ebeen
sensi t
ivesi ncethetwi ns.Hest andsupand
takesof fhi spantsandMrDi mbadownt here
springsoutal r
eadymi ghtyhar dandbitemyl i
p
,hecomesbackont opofmeki ssi
ngmywhi l
e
puttingMrDi n.
Me:
Ahhht
hatf
eel
ssogood.
Mi
ke:
Wechangi
ngt
heat
ti
tuder
ight
?
Me:
Mhh
Hespreadsmylegsopenandhestarts
thr
usti
ngdeepandhardsendingmetomyhi gh
pit
chedmoansbutgiv
esmenomer cyashe
holdmyhandsabovemegoi ngatafast
erpace
IswearIcanf
eelhi
mi nmygut.
Me:shi
tAhhhI
'
m bur
ningI
'
m goi
ngt
otocum
uhhh.
Mi
ke:
Takei
t
Helet'
sgoofmyhandsashebal ancesont he
bedgoingmor efasterandharderandmy
secondorgasm comesspl ashi
ngwhi l
ehe'sstil
l
i
nsideofmeandt hatseemedt omot ivat
emor e
ashekeptgoingasIf eltt
earsleav i
ngmyey es
from t
hemostpleasur abl
eyetpai nf
ulmoment
.Hepullsoutandcomest omyf acewi pi
ngt he
tear
s.
Mi
ke:
Youokay
?
Ipul
lhi
m ont
omeandki sshi
m passi
onat
ely
whil
efeel
i
nghismanhoodonmyhotskin.
Mi
ke:
That
'swhyy
oumywi
fe,
facedownassup.
Hequi ckl
yt urnsmear oundandr amsmef rom
behi
ndhol dingmywai stinoneplace,t
he
fl
amesi nsidemyv agi
nar i
ghtnowar etel
li
ng
met hatI'
ll
bel i
mpingreal har
d,herubsmyclit
whil
egi vi
ngmedeept hrustsandIsquir
t
dri
ppingital l
ov erhi
speni s.
Me:
mhhhf
ucky
ouki
l
li
ngme
Mi
ke:
I'
m onl
yget
ti
ngst
art
ed.
Hesay
sashegoesbackt
omuf
ftown.
(
3hour
slat
er)
"ahhhhhfuckshit,
that'
sitr
ightthereahhhh"I
scream aswebot hreachanor gasm fal
l
ingon
ourbacksont hecouch,wellthi
ngsheatedup
andlet'
sjustsaywemov edallovertheplace.
Mi
ke:
(br
eat
hinghar
d)Yourr
idi
nggamebaby
.
Me:
Iknowhowt
ohandl
emi
ne.
Mike:Imi
ssedy
ourv
agi
na,
i
tkeepscal
l
ingme
back.
Me:(
smil
es)i
tbett
erst
ayst
hatway
,Idon'
tthi
nk
Icanmovemylegs.
Mike:
Thatwastheaim,
neverputmeonsex
pr
obati
oneverorel
seIwil
lparal
ysey
ou.
Me:Ineededthat
,Il
oveyousomuchandI'
m
sor
ryforbei
ngselfi
shinourmar
ri
ageIpr
omise
Iwi
llt
rymybesttobebet t
er.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oomamaandIknowy
ouwi
l
l.
Me:
Ohh(
sul
tr
y)Daddy
Mi
ke:
Don'
tst
artsomet
hingy
ouwon'
tfi
nish.
Me:
Ial
way
sfi
nishmybusi
ness.
Mike:(
sigh)Thanky
ouJesus,
ai
n'
tnot
hingmore
perf
ectashavingawif
ewhomeetsyoursex
ual
desi
res.
Ilaughathim whil
erest
ingonhischest
l
isteningtohi
sheartbeatandhownicewouldit
bei fourmarr
iagewasliket
hisever
ydaybutas
witcheswouldhaveitwestil
lhavesome
turmoilst
ocrack.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT26
Mi
ke
Irol
l overt oLynnsideoft hebedandshe' snot
ther
e, probablyprepari
ngMnqobi forschool I
don'tthinksheknowst hei mport
antr oleshe
playsi nthishouse,Imeanf r
om takingcar eof
thekids, thehouseandmet hati
sahar djobbut
she'
sdoi ngitquitewellanditsti
llamazesme
ti
llt
hisdayt hatshestoppedwor kingt obeaf ul
l
ti
memot herandhousewi fe.Iputonmyr obe
andheaddownst air
sandshewaspr eparing
Mnqobi
'
slunchbox.
Me:
(ki
ssi
ngherneck)Mor
ningbeaut
if
ul.
Li
l
y:Heybaby,
Mnqobipl
easecomedownor
el
seyouwil
lbelat
e.
Shesai
dcalli
ngoutMnqobiwhil
eIpour
edmy
sel
fsomecof f
eeandthel
it
tl
eguycamedown
ful
l
ydressedwithhi
sbackpack.
Mnqobi
:Mor
ningUncl
e.
Me:
Heybuddy,
your
eadyf
orschool
?
Mnqobi
:No,
IDontl
i
kei
tany
mor
e.
Me:
Hawwwhy
?
Li
l
y:Hi
s"gi
rl
fr
iend"dumpedhi
m.
Mnqobi
:Mama!
!
Li
l
y:What
?It
str
ue.
Me:Nevermindyourmother,whenyoucome
backfr
om schoolyouwil
lfi
ndmei ntheman
caveandwewi l
lhaver
ealmanconv ersat
ion.
Li
l
y:uhhhno,
younotcor
rupt
ingmyl
i
ttl
ebaby
.
Mnqobi
:I'
m notl
it
tl
eanymor e,
thebabyi
nyour
t
ummyist heonethati
sli
tt
le.
Holycrap,Mnqobisti
ll
doesn'
tknowaboutt he
miscarri
ageandinhismindwest il
lhavinga
baby.IlookedatLi
li
anandshetriedt oplayit
coolandwewer esavedbythetranspor talert
becauseIknowhewasgoi ngtost artaskinga
l
otofquest i
ons.
Li
l
y:Takey
ourt
hingsf
anas.
Hetookhi
sbagandLi
l
ianwal
kedhi
m outandI
hear
dthecarl
eav
eandLil
i
ancameback.
Lil
y:It
hinkt
hat'
swhaty oushoul
dtel
lhi
min
the"
mancav e"Idon'
thavethebal
lst
odoit
.
Me:
Lil
i
any
oudon'
thav
ebal
l
sIdo.
Li
l
y:Idoactual
l
yhavethem di
ff
erencei
smi
ne
ar
esit
uatedinmyabdominalar
ea.
Me:
I'
m notev
engoi
ngt
oar
gue.
Li
ly
:Goodfory
ou,
youupear
lyy
ougoi
ng
somewher
e?
Me: Iam act
uall
y,
myr esi
gnat
ionfr
om the
prot
ectiv
eunitwasfinali
sedsonowIneedt o
checkintomybusinessesbecauseIst
ill
need
topaythebill
s.
Li
l
y:Younotal
egal
cri
minal
any
mor
e?
Me: Nope,
mylastexper
iencewasnotni
ceandI
don'twantany
thi
ngcompr omisi
ngyouguy
s
safety.
Li
ly:Il
oveyousomuchbutIneedmytwohour
powernapbeforey
ourtworascal
swakeup
becausetheyar
esoenerget
icl
atel
y.
Me:
(l
aughs)Theyal
mostoney
earol
dbabe.
Li
l
y:onl
yamonthawayhuhh,
Imisst
heday
s
wher
etheywoul
dsl
eepalmostt
hewhol
eday.
Me:
Thi
sisonl
ythebegi
nni
ng.
Li
l
y:(
kissesme)OkayI
'
m goi
ngbackt
obed,
tel
l
mewheny
oul
eav
e.
Me:
Okay.
Sher anupstair
sandIdecidedtomake
breakfastf
orusandputher sinthewarmerand
al
sopr eparedthetwinsmorni
ngmeal sshe
deservesabr eakonceinawhile.
Iwentupst
air
s
andpr epar
edt ogotomymeet ingsandshe
wassl eepi
ngsopeacef ul
.WhenIwasaboutt o
l
eav eIwokeherup.
Li
l
y:Youl
ookni
ceDaddy.
Me:Don'
tst
art
,y
ourbr
eakf
asti
sint
hewar
merI
l
oveyou.
Li
l
y:Il
ovey
out
oo(
tongueki
ssesme)
Me:
mhhhIneedt
oleav
e.
Li
l
y:By
ebaby
.
Shequi
ckl
ycover
edher
selfandt
hatsomehow
mademelaughandll
eft
.
-
--
--
It
smi ddayandal lmymeeti
ngsareov erand
myphonehasbeenqui t
ebusywi t
hphonecal l
s
fr
om Pr omiseandIknowignor
ingherwon' t
helpbutIdon'tknowhowtodeal wit
hitsoI
callherbackwhilei
nmycartof i
ndoutwhy
she'sblowingupmyphone.
Me:
Whati
sit
?
Promise:
"Youcouldstar
tact
ingl
i
key
ouact
ual
l
y
careaboutyourchi
ld"
Me:
DidIwast
emyt
imecal
l
ing?
Pr
omi
se:
"Ihav
enopl
acet
ost
ay"
Me:
Youki
ddi
ngmer
ight
?
Pr
omi
se:
"DoIsoundl
i
keI
'
mjoki
ng?
"
Me:
Sowher
edoIf
iti
nal
loft
his?
Promise:
"Don'tfuckwithmeMi ke,
I'
m car
ryi
ng
yourchil
danditsy ourr
esponsi
bil
it
ytotake
careofyourchil
d"
Me:
TrustmeIr
egr
ett
hatdeci
sionoff
ucki
ng
y
ou,
lookj
ustbooky
oursel
fint
oahot
elI
'
llpay
f
ori
t.
Pr
omi
se:
"Ican'
t,
Il
ostmyI
D"
Me:Howconveni
ent
?,sowher
edoy
oupl
anon
l
iv
ingthen?
Pr
omi
se:
"Youhav
eahousedon'
tyou?
"
Me:(l
aughs)you'
vegotj
okes,
yout
hinkI
'
m
l
ett
ingyoustayinmyhouse?
Promise:
"(sni
ff
s)Yout hinkI'
m play
ing,
Ihav
e
beenshackingupwithmyf r
iendbutobvi
ously
shehashadenoughoff eedi
ngt wopeoplet
hat
arenotevenherresponsibi
li
ty."
Me:
Wher
ear
eyounow?
Pr
omi
se:
"Hershacki
nSowet
o.
Ihonestl
ydonotknowwhatI '
m doingri
ghtnow
butthati
smychi l
dandIdon'twanttocomprise
i
tsli
feeit
herojusthopeIcanbeabl et
obook
heri
ntotheB&Bnotf arf
rom us.Shesentme
herlocati
onandIdrovether
eandIdon'tknow
howpeopl eli
vei
nsuchapl ace,
thi
sisapigsty
.Sheopenst hedoorandmakesherself
comf or
tablei
nmycarandInot i
ceherbell
yhas
grownabi t.
Promise:Iknowyouhat emebutthatdoesn'
t
changethatI'
m pregnantandyouknowvery
wellt
hatIcan'tr
aisethischi
l
dalone.
Me: Canyoupl
easeshutup,Ialr
eadyknowall
ofthatandIwi
llt
akecareofmychi l
dbutyou
Missyarenotmyresponsi
bil
it
y.
Pr
omi
se:
That
'sal
lI'
m aski
ngf
or.
She'sact ual
lybei
ngsi ncer
eaboutt hisandnot
beinghernor mal bi
tchyself
,I
'mr eal
lyconvinced
she'sconcer naboutthebaby .Idroveinsi
lence
tothel ocalB&Bandt heysaidt her
e'snospace
andt hisistheonlyplacethatwasnotgoi ngt o
requireherID* gr
eat*
Pr
omi
se:
Idon'
tgetwhat
'st
hebi
gdeal
,
Imean
youhaveacot
tageIcouldli
vet
hereandIwon'
t
beint
erf
eri
ngwit
hyourliv
esunlessi
ts
somethi
ngtodowit
ht hebaby.
Me:Youhavelosty
ourbr
ainsi
fyout
hinki
ngI
'
m
br
ingi
ngyoutomyhouse.
Promise:Whatbet
tersuggesti
ondoy
ouhav
e?
I
'm goingt
ostayinyourcar?
Damni tnowI '
minreal needofmyf latbutLil
ian
mademel etgoofthatal ongtimeago,itseems
asifal
l oddsareagainstmeont hi
soneand
thi
smi ghtaswellbetheendofmymar riage
becauseLy nnisnotaboutt ohavethisone.
Iturnmycararoundanddr ov
ei nthedi recti
on
ofmyhouseandi ftherewasev erat i
mewher e
IthoughtIcoul
dpissonmysel fisthisone. I
pulloveri
nthegarageandLil
ian'scari shere
meaningshe'shome. Iwal
kinsidewi thPr omise
behindmeandIpr eparemyselffort hewor st
asIopent hedoorbutIseeMaMar thai nthe
ki
tchen.Ihavenotseenheri
nquiteawhi
le
becauseshecomesandhel psonceort
wi cea
weekbuthersalaryi
ssti
llt
hesameandt hose
wereLil
ian'
sterms.
Mar
tha:
Andt
hen,
whyar
eyousopal
e?
Pr
omi semov
esfr
om behi
ndmemaki
ngher
sel
f
vi
sibl
etoMart
ha.
Mar
tha:
Hel
l
olady
.
Me:
Wher
e'sLi
l
ian?
Mart
ha:Shewentoutforawal
kwit
hthe
t
wins.
Shoul
dIoffery
ouanythi
ngt
odrink?
Pr
omi
se:
Not
hanky
ou.
Marthai
sawfull
yni
cebecauseIknowshe
knowsaboutPromi
se,
sheandLili
ant al
kabout
ever
ythi
ng.It
oldPr
omisetogowai tint
he
l
oungeasIjoi
nedMart
hainthekitchen.
Mar
tha:Mziwonkehaveyoulosty
ourmi
nd?
Whyareyoubri
ngingherher
e?
Me:
Shehasnowher
eel
set
ogo.
Mar tha:Jesus,t
herear
ehotel
s,b&b'
sev en
brothelscouldn'
tyouputhert
herei
nsteadof
here.
Me:
Itr
iedal
lthat.
Martha: Youpushingy ourlucknow, Li
li
anis
comi ngtotermswi ththispregnancybut
bri
ngi ngPromisetoherper sonalspacei sjust
toomuchespeci allyaftert
hemi scar r
iage.That
gir
l(
pr omise)wil
lbeusi ngthispregnancyf or
everyt hi
ngandmoonl i
ghti
ngi tt
oLi li
anafter
herlosshowdoy out hinkshe'sgoingt ofeel
?
Me:
Iknowma,
I
'l
lmakeapl
ant
omor
row.
Martha:I
fLi
l
ianl
eav
esy
ouIwon'
tev
ent
alkher
outofit
.
?
??:
Tal
kmeoutofwhat
?
Webotht
urnar
oundi
nshockandIl
i
ter
all
y
f
roze.
Li
l
y:Youokaybaby
?
Me:
Iam ,
babyt
her
..
..
Pr
omi
se:
Ithi
nkIwoul
dappr
e..
.(
seesLi
l
ian)
Il
ookatherandherjawsaret
ell
i
ngmeshe'
s
gri
ndinghert
eeth'
sandherey
esaremov
ingi
n
betweenthethr
eeofus.
Li
l
y:Macany
oupl
easet
aket
het
winsupst
air
s?
Mar
tha:
Sur
e(l
eav
eswi
tht
heki
ds).
Me:BabyIknowwhaty
out
hinki
ngr
ightnow
but
..
Li
l
y:Youhav
enoi
deat
rustme.
Shemovestothefr
idgeandpour
shersel
fa
gl
assofwinesi
tt
ingdownonthehighchai
r.
Li
ly
:Sonoonei
sexpl
aini
ngwhat
'
sgoi
ngon
her
e?
Pr
omi
se:
Iam.
..
Me:
Shutup,
babycanwet
alkupst
air
s?
Promise:What '
sthepoi ntofsoft
eningthi
s,
Look
Li
lianyoudon'tli
kemeIdon' tl
ikeyoubutfact
i
sI '
m pregnantwithhischildandrightnowI
don'thaveaplacet ostay.
Li
l
y:(
Tome)Soshe'
sst
ayi
ngher
e?
Me:
Baby.
.
Li
l
y:Al
ri
ghtt
hen(
gul
psdownherwi
ne)
Me:
Cany
ouexcuseus?
Lil
y:YouknowwhatIf i
ndfunny?Justtwodays
agowewer etalkingaboutmakingdecisi
ons
togetherbutherey ouarebri
ngingyourbi
tchi
n
myhousef orhert opar
adeherpregnancyinmy
face.
Gr eatt
hinkingMzi .
Me:
Iwi
l
lsor
tthi
soutt
omor
rowIpr
omi
se.
Li
ly:
Asifshewil
llett
hechanceofl
iv
ingHere
sl
ipthr
oughherfi
ngers,
I
'mtryi
ngtobecal
m
ri
ghtnowbutthi
sistoomuch.
Me:
IknowI
'
m put
ti
ngy
out
hroughal
otbut
pl
easebaby
,shewi
llbei
nthecot
tagey
ouwon'
t
ev
enknowshe'sar
ound.
Li
ly:It
hinkIneedtogobacktoworkbecause
herbeinginmyfaceever
ydayisgoingt
oleadto
oneofusbeingdeadandI'm sur
eitwon'
tbe
me.
Me:
Babyi
tsj
ustf
ort
oday
.
Li
l
y:Ineedt
ocheckt
heki
ds.
Me:
Lil
i
an
Li
l
y:Ineedt
ogat
hermyt
hought
s.
Shet ookherphoneandheadedupst ai
rsItol
d
Promi setogot othecottageandIheaded
upstairsandfoundLi l
i
ani ntheshowerandI
knowshe' scrying,
shelocksherselfinthe
showerwhenshedoesn' twantany onet osee
thatshei scr
ying.Iopent heshowerdoorand
she'ssitt
ingont heshowerbenchwi t
hwat er
j
ustpour ingonher .
Iwalkinforget
tingthatI'
m
ful
lyclothedbutnoneoft hatmat t
ersrightnow
Ineedt
otal
ktoher.
Ist
andbet
weenherl
egsandshef
akesasmi
l
e.
Me: Don't,
Idon'tunder
standwhyy
ouhi
ding
yourtruefeel
ingsfrom me.
Li
ly
:Idon'
twantyoutofeel
guilt
yaboutt
aki
ng
car
eofyourchi
ldandit
smot her.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Lil
y:Thatisyourchi
ldanditsy ourr
esponsi
bil
i
ty
tomakesur etheyarewelltakencareof
,regar
dlessofhowt hebabywasconcei vedi
tis
i
nnocentanddeser v
estobet akencar
eofand
haveasaf eenvi
ronmentandy ouhavebeenso
accepti
ngofmeandmyki dsIdon'twanttobe
thereasonwhyy oudon'thavear el
ati
onshi
p
withyourchil
d.
Me:
(huggi
ngher
)Idon'
tdeser
vey
ou.
Li
ly:
Pleasekeepheroutofmyspace,
andI
'
llt
ry
nottoki
llher.
Me:
Babypl
easedon'tsuf
focat
ey ourf
eel
s,y
our
f
eel
i
ngsandwell
-bei
ngmat t
erthemosttome.
Li
ly
:Ev
eni
fIwantt
oscr
eam andcussy
ourass
out
?
Me:YesaslongasIknowhowy ouf
eel,
yes
shemightbecar
ryi
ngmychil
dbutyouandour
ki
dsaremynumberoneprior
it
y..
Li
ly:Ij
usthopeourl
oveisstr
ongenoughto
overcomet hi
sbecauseourlov
eisdif
fer
enti
ts
drai
ningyetsoadmir
abl
einmyey esandmay
wenev ergi
veuponeachotherinspi
teofour
fl
aws.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT27
Li
l
ian
If
eel
li
keal
lmydoor
sar
ecl
osi
ngi
nonme,
I
don' tknowwhatIam doi ngany mor eit'slikeI
shoul dj ustsi tdownandwat chev eryt hing
unf oldf oritsselfespeci all
yt hispr egnancy
thingwi thPr omise. YesterdayIcancel l
edmy
appoi ntmentwi t
ht hehospi t
al notbecause
Mi kedi ckedmei ntoagr eeingbutbecauseI
thinki twoul dn'thur ttohav ef aithagai nand
besi dest het winswi l
lay earol dinaf ewweeks
andi ftheyar eany thingliket heirbrotherbyt he
ti
met heyar e3t heywi llnotwantt obecal led
"babi es"soIneedanot herone.TodayIwantt o
dot hel aundr yandj ustkeepmysel foccupi ed
from seei ngPr omi se.ItakeoutMi ke'scl othes
i
nhi sbasketandasmuchasIl ovemyhusband
Ialsoneedhi m outofmyf acebuthel ooksl i
ke
hehasnoi ntentionsofgoi ngany where.Imov e
tot hebedwher ehei slayingbusywi thhi s
phone.
Me:
StandupIwantt
otakeoutt
hesheet
s.
Mi
ke:
Youl
ooksex
yint
hosel
eggi
ngs(
bit
esl
i
p)
Me:Ithi
nkoneofusshoul
dhav
eadai
l
yjob
,whatdoyouthi
nkabouti
t?
Mike:It
hinky
outry
ingtogetri
dofmeandy
ou
di
dt hesamethi
ngsyest
erday
,why
?
Me:Youreal
l
yaredel
ayi
ngmef
rom doi
ngt
he
l
aundry,
move.
Hegrabbesmyhandandpul
l
smedownont
o
hi
m andifal
li
nhi
slap.
Mi
ke:
Tal
ktome?
Me:
aboutwhat
?
Mike:Whyareyouli
kethi
s?Youbecomi
ng
di
stantandyoutheonewhosaidshemustst
ay
hereyest
erdayaf
terIf
oundheraB&B.
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
aloti
sgoi
ngt
hroughmymi
nd.
Mi
ke:
That
'swhatIwantt
oknow.

Me:
Your
ememberhowhappywewer
ethef
ir
st
ti
mewest art
eddat i
ng,all
wecaredaboutwas
havingsexandj usthav
ingagoodt i
me,you
taki
ngmet oclubsandr omant
icdat
es,l
if
ewas
greatthen.

Mi
ke:
I'
mlost.

Me: Icant ellbyyourf ace,

IknowIam not
maki ngsensebutIj ustmissthat" us"Igett hat
wegr ownnowandhav eafull
f amilyit
'sjust
thatev ersincetheSout hArabiat r
ipitsbeen
pullafterpullandwehav enothadt imef orus
j
ustt obehappywi t
houtany t
hingr uini
ngi tandI
thoughtmay beaf t
ertheweddi ngwecoul d
fi
nallyhav ethatmomentbuty ouknowhowt hat
wentandnowy ouhav eababyont heway .A
babyt hatIdon'tknowhowt oreactt o,howwi l
l
i
tspr esenceaf fectusandourmar ri
age.Iam
notev ensur eofmyt houghtsandf eeli
ngs.
Mike:(hugsme)Iam sorry,
Iknowev er
ything
thathasbeenhappeningismyfaul
tanditreally
breaksmyheartseei
ngy ouli
kethi
s.Youright
wear esupposetobehappyandIpromisey ou
thatal
l t
hiswi
llbeov
er.

Me:
Wil
li
t?

Mike: I
twi l
l,
ofcauseIwi llt
akecar eoft hebaby
butitwillnotaffectusorourf amily.Iknowy ou
morewor ri
edaboutt hemot herbutIwi l
l handle
her.(caressesmyf ace)BabyIl ovey ouso
muchandi 'm beyondgratefulthatyouchoset o
sti
ckbymysi der egardl
essofhowdi ffi
cultthis
i
sony ou.

Me:
Ilov
eyout
oobuti
tsdr
aini
ngandI
'
mti
red.
Mike:
Iknow,
youknowwhatl
eav
ethel
aundr
y
t
odayIwantt
ospendti
mewithmywif
e.

Hetur
nsmearoundl
ayi
ngmeonthebedwi
th
hi
m ontopofmeki
ssi
ngmyneck.
Me:
No,
I
'm nothav
ingsexwi
thy
ou.
Mike:Damny ouput
ti
ngmeonshaggi
ng
punishmentagai
n?
Me:(
laughs)No,
Iam st
il
lrecov
eri
ngf
rom t
he
ot
herday.
Mike:
Mhhletmeki
ssi
tbet
ter
(squeezi
ngmy
br
easts)
Me:Noway,t
henextt
hingIwill
bescr
eaming
t
raumat
izi
ngmybabiesinbroaddayl
ight
.
Mike:
(l
aughs)youdon'
tcomplai
nthoughwhen
i
'
mi nsi
dey ou,
getupI
'mtaki
ngyoushoppi
ng.
Me:
Who?You?
Mi
ke:
Youwantmet
ochangemymi
nd?
Me:
(st
andsup)No!
!,
let
sgo.
Mike:
Youmusthav elosty
ourmindthinki
ng
yougoingout
sideweari
ngthosel
eggings.
Me:
hauIt
houghty
ousai
dIl
ookedsexy
?
Mike:
Myeyesonl
y,
Idon'
twantot
herman
dr
ooli
ngov
eryou.
Me:
MXM f
ine.
Hethinksheissli
ckbymaki ngmechangemy
cl
othes,well
Ihaveagoodonef orhi
m.Iwal
ked
i
nmycl osetandwor emyt i
ghtbluej
eanwhich
pret
tymuchgi v
esy ouagoodangl eofal
lmy
assets.
Iputapairofearr
ingsandwalkedto
hi
m andhei mmedi at
elyshookhishead.
Mi
ke:
Youwor
ethatj
eanonpur
pose.
Me:
Ther
e'snot
hingwr
ongwi
thi
t .
Mi
ke:Youreckon,wantmetoshowy
ouwhat
'
s
wr
ongwithit
?(grabsmyass)
Me: Yousai
dyoutaki
ngmeshoppi
ngst
op
sexuall
yhar
assi
ngme.
Isai
dremov i
nghishandsandheadi
ngdown
stai
rsandIcoul
dfeelhisey
esonme.
Me:
Stopdr
ool
i
ng
Mi
ke:Howthehel
lam Isupposetoconcent
rat
e
wi
thasexywi
fethatIj
ustwanttofu.
..
..
.
Hestopswhenwewalki
ntoPr
omi
sei
nthe
l
iv
ingroom wi
thMar
tha.
Mar
tha:
Ial
mostt
houghty
oubot
hdead.
Mike:Youwoul
dbewai
l
ingr
ightnowi
fyour
f
av our
it
esondi
ed.
Mart
ha:Youful
lofy
our
sel
f,I
'
llbesadabout
Li
l
ianthanyou.
Me: mawegoi
ngt
othe.
.(
doorknock)I
'
ll
geti
t.
Il
eftthem st
il
lteasi
ngeachother,
Iopent he
dooranditwasLungaandt hi
swasasur pri
se
becausehehasnev ercomeherewithoutNandi.
Me:
Hey,
i
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
?
Lunga:Hi,
ever
ythi
ngi
sfi
ne.
canwet
alki
n
pri
vate?
Il
ookbackatt heliv
ingroom andtheywerest
il
l
i
nt hei
rconversat
ion,Isteppedout
sideand
sl
ightl
yclosedthedoor .
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Lunga:
(gi
vesmeanenv
elop)
Her
e.
Me:
What
sthi
s?
Lunga:
Heaskedy
out
ovi
si
thi
m.
Me:
who?
Lunga:Kagi
so,
thatl
ett
erisf
rom hi
m.Her eal
l
y
wantstotal
ktoyouhesaidit
simportantand
hedidn'
twanttoshockyouwithaphonecall.
Me:
Kagi
so?Youhav
ebeenv
isi
ti
nghi
m?
Lunga:
Yeahf
orawhi
l
enow.
Me:
Hei
snotdy
ingi
she?
Lunga:No,heisf
inebuthesai
dit
simpor
tant
thatheseesandtal
kstoyou.
Me:
Idon'
tknowbutt
hanks.
HeleavesandIanxi
ousl
ytapontheenvel
op
wanti
ngt oknowwhati
sinsi
debutthati
s
i
nter
ruptedbythi
sbi
tchanddamnshescared
me.
Pr
omi
se:
(smi
l
es)Whowast
hat
?
Me:
fuckof
f
Pr
omi
se:
Fei
styhuh?
Iwalkbackt
otheli
vi
ngr
oom andputt
he
envel
opinmypurse.
Mi
ke:
Whowast
hat
?
Me:
uhhnoone,
j
ustt
hosesal
espeopl
e.
Anditbegi
ngs,Li
es.Hegi
vesmealookt
hat
tel
l
smet hatheknowsIam Ly
ing.
.
TBC.
Pl
easebearwit
hmeguys,
Iam superbusy
l
atel
ybutI
'l
ltr
ymybest
.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
27cont
inued
.
.
Wej ustgotbackf rom themal landIdi dn'tbuy
alotofst uffmymi ndisst i
llonthislett
erand
whati tsays.Toreadt helett
erIwi l
lbutt ogo
seehi m Idon'tt
hinkIcan.Ihav eforgiv
enhi m
forwhathedi dt omenotf orhissakebutf or
mine, harbouri
ngsomuchangerandhat redcan
destroyy ouasaper son.
Mikepar
ksthecari
nthegarageandwhenI
wasaboutt
ostepouthegrabbedmyhand
maki
ngmel
ookathi
m.
Mike:Iknowy ouhi
dingsomethingaboutthat
knockearli
erandIthoughtwemadeapactt o
neverli
etoeachothernomat t
erhowl i
tt
lethe
i
ssueis.
Me:
Whydoy
oui
nsi
stI
'
mly
ingt
oyou?
Mike:Becauseyouare,
andev
enduri
ngthe
shoppingyourmindwassomewher
eelse.
Me:
I'
m notdoi
ngt
his,
youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
nsi
de.
Iqui
cklygotoutofthecarandwentinsi
det
he
houseandMnqobi wasbackandthetwi
nswer
e
pl
ayingonthefloorwell
unti
ltheysawme.
Nel
i:
(cr
awl
stomeandst
andsbymyl
eg)Ma
..
ma
Me:(pi
cki
ngherup)Heymunchki
n,y
oul
ook
ni
ce.
It
ickl
eherandshel
aughsandSi
yastar
ts
whini
ngneedi
ngatt
ent
iont
ooandthankGod
MikegotinbecauseIcannothol
dbot
hofthem
anymore.
Neliji
ggledoutofmyarmswanti
ng
herfat
herandMiket ookherwhi
l
eIpi
ckedup
Siy
a.
Mnqobi
:Thi
sisnotf
air
.
Me:
What
?
Mnqobi
:Theygetal
ltheat
tent
ion.
Mike:
Didn'
tyousayyouamanawhi
l
eago?
andamani snotbabi
ed.
Mnqobi
:Thatwast
hen.
Me:
(Isatdownont
hecouch)Comeher
efanas.
Her
ant
othecouchandsatnextt
ome.
Me:Youalsogetourat tenti
onandwel ov
eyou
j
ustasmuchaswel ov
et hem butboyy ouhave
tounder
standthattheyar eyoungerthanyou
andcan'
tdostaffforthemsel vesl
ikeyousowe
needtoalwaysassistthem.
Mnqobi
:CanIal
soassi
stt
hem?
Me:
Sur
e,butwhatki
ndofassi
sti
ng?
Mnqobi
:Bat
hingt
hem.
Me:Okaybutonl
ywhenI
'
m ar
oundand
wat
chingyou.
Mnqobi
:Cool
(ki
ssesmycheek)Il
ovey
ou
mom.
Me:Il
oveyout
ookodwaIdon'
thav
ewhat
ever
youwant
.
Mnqobi
:Idon'
twantany
thi
ng.
(l
aughs)
Herunsupstai
rsandbothMikeandImakeour
waytothekit
chenandwef i
ndpromisei
nthe
ki
tchencooki
ng,IswearI
'mreal
l
ytry
ingtobe
cal
m butshe'
spushingme.
Pr
omi
se:
Imadedi
nner.
Me:
I'
ll
gobat
hthet
wins.
Mi
ke:
Lynn.
..
Me:
Itsf
ine,
I
'mf
ine.
ItookNosifrom him andheadedupst ai
rsandI
couldhearhimtalki
ngt oPromisebutIhadno
i
nteresti
ntheconv ersat
ionI'
l
l j
ustordermysel
f
somet hi
ngbecauseIwi l
lnevereatany t
hing
cookedbyt hatwit
chexcuset helanguagebut
shedeservesit.
Iputthet
winsintheplayr
oom withMnqobiand
wenttomyr oom andopenedtheenvel
ope.I
rel
easeahugesi ghbefor
estart
ingtor
eadit.
"Idon'tev enknowwher etobegin,Ihavewr ote
thi
sl ett
erov er40timesbutIcan'tfi
ndthe
perfectwor ds.Fi
rst
lyIwouldli
ketoapol ogize
forwhatIdi dtoyouandallthosehorri
ble
thi
ngsIsai dyoudidn'
tdeserveanyofitandi fI
useexcusesf ormybehav i
orIwouldn'tbedoi ng
j
usticet oy ou.
Youlovedmei nway sIdidn't
deser v
et obel ovedandItookthatlovef or
grantedandusedi tasmypunchi ngbag,I'm
sorry.
Att
hebegi
nni
ngourl
ovewasper
fectandwe
treasur
edi tbutthent hi
ngswentwr ongand
may beifIcould'
v ereali
sedt heexactmoment
thingstookturnfort hewor stIwouldhave
madebet terdecisions.Ireallyhopeandpray
thatyouf i
ndpeaceandj oyr egardl
essofthe
scarsIhav elef
ty ouwi t
h.
I'
venev erknowny out obeaper sonwhohol ds
grudgesandIknowy ouhav eprobablyforgiven
mebutIcan' tforgi
vemysel f,ever
yt i
meIcl ose
myey esIst i
ll
seey ourlif
elessbodyt hatIlefti
n
thekit
chen. Li
li
anIdon' tthi
nkIcanev er
apologiseorshowr emor seenoughf ormy
acti
ons. IknowI '
m askingal otbyr equest
inga
visi
tfr
om y ouandI '
ll
under standifyoudon' t
come, Ijusthopey ouhappyandokay.
Iknowhav emanyf ault
sandr egretsbutl
oving
youandhav i
ngyourl ovewil
lforeverbemy
blessi
ng,
youstil
lremai nbei
ngmyhear tandI
resentmyselff
orbr eakingi
t.I'
M SORRY
Kagi
so"
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT28
Li
l
ian
Whatwasont hatl
etterhasbeenlingeri
ngon
mymi ndforthepastt wodaysandIknowIsai d
Iwasnotgoingt oseehim butsomet hi
ngi sata
nudgethatmakesmewantt ohearwhathehas
tosaysoTodayIam goi ngt
ov i
sithim Ihave
neverbeentherebeforesoIdon'tevenknow
howallthi
sv i
sit
ati
ont hi
nggoes.
Mi
ke:
Goi
ngsomewher
e?
Itur
naroundfrom t
hemirrorandhei
sstanding
onthedoorlooki
ngall
kindsofsexyespeci
all
y
becauseheissweatyf
rom hismorni
ngworkout.
Me:
Ihav
ear
out
inecheckupatt
heof
fi
ce.
Mi
ke:
Ohhokay
,l
etmehi
ttheshower
.
Me:
Yourbr
eakf
asti
sinawar
mer.
Mike:
Maybewhenyoucomebacky
oucanst
art
bei
nghonestwi
thme.
Thegui ltoft hiswholesituat i
oni sgett
ingto
me, hesai dent eri
ngthebat hr
oom . It
ookmy
purseandheadedoutandaf teranhourof
drivi
ngIf i
nallyarri
vedatt heJohannesbur g
correctional servi
cesandwentt hroughthe
whol epr ocedur eofchecki ngi nandnowI '
m
sitt
inginat ablewai t
ingforhi mt ocomeout
,themoodoft hi
swhol ear eai ssomberandI
feel l
ikeev eryoneislookingatmeandt hese
stupidguar dskeepexchangi ngcompl iments
l
ooki ngatme, oneoft heladyguar ds
appr oachesme.
Her
:Don'tmi
ndt
hem,
theypr
obabl
ysur
pri
sedby
t
hevisi
t.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her:
All
thi
sti
meMedupehasbeenher
ehehas
hadonl
yonevi
sit
or.
Me:
Ohhokay,
thanks.
Her
:Her
ehei
s.
Irai
semyey esandourey eslocked
i
mmedi at
ely,hegivessomecar dtotheguards
andIusethechancet owipemysur pri
sing
tear
s,hel
ooksdi f
ferent,
moret hi
nnerevenhis
walkhaschanged. Hesit
sdownopposi teme
andIam sti
llfi
xat
edonhi sbody.
Kagi
so:
Hi,
Idi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwoul
dcome.
Me:
(cl
ear
sthr
oat
)Hey
Kagi
so:
Youl
ookwonder
ful
,howar
eyou?
Me:
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
out
hatquest
ion.
Kagiso:Why?
becauseIl
ookl
i
keawal
ki
ng
ghost?
Me:
Sor
tof
.
Kagiso:
Wel l
thi
sisnotanicepl
acetobeinbut
youlear
nt oadj
ustt
oitandformeitki
ndof
becamer eal
l
yhardespeci
all
ywit
hmysituat
ion.
Me:
Sit
uat
ion?
Kagi
so:
Yourboy
fri
enddi
dagoodnumberon
medownther
e.
Me:
Husband,
whatnumber
?
Kagi
so:
Hebur
ntmypeni
s,
Youmar
ri
ed?
Me:
MhhandIhav
etwoot
herki
ds.
Kagi
so:Iam happyforyou,
youdeser
vei
t.How
i
sClai
reandt hethetwi
ns?
Me:Thetwinsmov
edwi t
hyourmothert
o
Bl
oemfontei
nandClai
renowli
vesi
nLondon.
Kagiso:
Bei
nginjai
li
snothingcompar
edt
othe
feel
i
ngofknowingyourki
dshateyou.
Me:It
ri
edtotal
ktothem aboutt
hisbutt
hey
madeupthei
rminds.
Kagi
so:Youdi
dn'
thavetoo,
mywhol
eli
fei
s
messedupI'
m messedup.
Me: Notenti
rel
y,y
esyoumadesomehorri
ble
choicesbutyougavemethegr
eat
estgi
ftand
thatisCl
air
e.
Kagi
so:
Ist
il
lhadadi
rect
ioni
nli
fet
hen.
Me: I
nthel
etteryousaidifyouknewwher
e
thi
ngsstar
tedtogowr ongmay beyouwoul
d
havemadebet t
erchoices,why?
Kagiso:IknowIwi llprobablysoundpet tybutin
tr
uehonest lyIdon'trecognisethepersonIwas
aft
erthewhol eKhany aandTshepiso. Idon't
understandhowIwentf rom bei
ngagai nst
womanabuset omedoi ngwhatIdidtoy ou.
The
manipulative,cont
roll
ingandobsessiv e
behavior.Iam nottyingtomakeexcusesf ormy
sel
fbutt her e'
salotIwi shIcouldchange.
Me:May beoneofyourl
unat
icwoman
bewi
tchedyou,whoknows.
Kagi
so:
(l
aughs)Iseey
oust
il
lhav
eyoursense
ofhumor.
Me:Butonaseri
ousnot
e,Ihavefor
giv
enyou
andyouneedtof
orgi
veyoursel
fsoyoucango
onwithyourl
i
fe.
Kagiso:
Idon'
thaveali
fe,
Idon'
tthi
nkIcan
for
givemyselff
orthet
raumaIputy out
hrough.
Me: Iwon'
tli
eandsaythati
tdi
dnotaf
fectme
becauseitst
il
ldoesfr
om ti
metot
imebutlike
yousaidyouadjust.
Kagiso:ButIt hi
nknowt hatIhaveseenyouand
thatyouar eokayandhappyIcanbeabl et
oput
thi
stor est,IwishIcouldseet hegir
lsandlet
them knowhowsor ryIam aboutwhat
happenedandt hatIlovethem .
Me:waitwhat'
sgoingon?Yourt
onet
otal
l
y
changedatthelastsent
ence.
Kagiso:
Not
hing,
it
'sj
ustthatseei
ngy
ou
rel
easesmysoul
.Whathappenedtoy
our
dr
eadl
ocks?
Me: Real
lyoutofanythi
ngthatyoucouldhave
asked,youchosethedreads?Butt henagai
n
youwer eal
way sobsessedwiththem.
Kagi
so:
Theysui
tedy
out
hough.
Me:Doyoueverwonderhowourl i
veswoul
d
hav
eturnedouti
ftherewasn'
tthatwhol
emix-
upoft
heDNAr esult
s?
Kagiso:
Idoalotbutt
hatwasnotthebegi
nni
ng
ofourprobl
emsalt
houghitmadeever
ythi
ng
worse.
Me:Youwil
lalwaysbethegreatestl
oveofmy
l
if
eeventhoughyoualmostkil
ledme.
Kagi
so:
Idon'
tdeser
vey
ourki
ndnessr
ightnow.
Me:Ohhcomeon, webot
harenotsaint
sIal
so
putyouthr
oughsomehardt
hingsbutwedid
haveourgoodti
mesandmemor i
es.
Kagi
so:
Okayoutwi
thi
t,
youhav
ethatshady
smil
eyoualway
shadwhenyourmi
ndi
s
thi
nki
ngofsomest
upi
dthi
ng.
Me:ohhwowIf
eel
souni
quer
ightnow(
clear
s
t
hroat
)
Kagi
so:
DoIev
enwantt
oknow?
Me:Yousai
dMi
kedi
danumberony
ou,
doesi
t
per
for
m?
Kagi
so:
OhhmyGod,
somet
hingsnev
erchange
.
Me:
Youcan'
tbl
amemef
orwonder
ing.
Kagi
so:MaKhumal
ogety
ourmi
ndoutoft
he
gut
ter.
.
.
Mi
ke
Ipaceoutsi
dei
ntherecept
ionwai
ti
ngforthe
doctort
ocomeouttotel
lmewhathappened
.Wel l i
twasnotev enanhouraf terLil
ianleft
whenIhear dPr omi sescreamingf rom the
cot t
ageatf ir
stIt houghti twasj ustherwayof
want ingat tentionbutt hescreamsgotwor se
andwhenIwentt ocheckonherIf oundheron
thef looral lr
olleduphol dingontoherst omach
,therewasnobl oodbutshesai dshewas
exper iencingext remepai nsoIr ushedhert o
thehospi talwhi l
et ryi
ngt ocallLili
anbutshe
wasnotpi ckingup. Thedoct or
st ookhert oER
i
mmedi atelyandal otwasgoi ngt hroughmy
mi nd, Iknowt hewhol epregnancysi tuati
onis
noti deal butloosi nganot herchild.
Nur
se:
Sirt
hedoct
orsai
dyoucangoi
n.
Ir
ushi
ntother
oom andPr
omi
sewasj
ust
l
ayi
ngt
hereinadaze.
Dr
:Thebabydi
edi
nsi
deofher
.
Me:
What
?Whathappened?
Dr:
wef
oundhi
ghv
olumeofar
seni
cinher
bl
oodst
ream whi
chki
l
ledt
hebaby
.
Me:Whywouldshehav
eaar
seni
cchemi
cal
in
herbody
.Pr
omise?
Pr
omi
se:
Idon'
tknowokay
(cr
ies)
.
Dr:Whatdidyoueattoday,becausether
e'sno
waythechemicalcouldgetthroughthesyst
em
anyotherwayexceptfoodpoisoningandhadit
beeninyoursyst
em muchl ongeritwoul
dhav e
damagedy ou.
Pr
omise:
Ionl
yhadbr
eakf
ast
..
..
.t
hatwas
pr
epar
edby..
.
Dr
:Bywho?
Tel
lmet
hisi
saser
iouscase.
Promise:
Nonoshedi dn'
t,t
hebreakfastwas
prepar
edbyLil
ianandIfoundt
hatwei rd
becauseshehasnevermademebr eakf
ast.
Me:
Lil
i
anmadey
oubr
eakf
ast?
Pr
omi
se:
Sheev
enbr
oughti
ttot
hecot
tage.
Me:
NoLi
l
ianwoul
dnev
erdosomet
hingl
i
ke
t
his.
Promise: Thenwhatotherexplanat
ionis
there,
thatistheonl
ythingIatetodayunless
yout r
yingtotellmethatsomeoneel semade
thatbreakfast.
Dr:
Whoist
hisLi
li
anbecauseIneedt
oinv
olv
e
t
hepol
i
ceinthi
smatter
.
Me:
What?No.
Shei
smywi
fe.
Pr
omise:
Sosheki
l
lsmychi
l
dandal
lmustbe
wel
l.
Me:Lookl
etmetal
ktoherfi
rst,
Li
li
anwoul
d
nev
erdosomet
hingli
ket
his.
Iwalkedoutandt riedcall
ingLili
anagainbutit
wentstraightt
ov oicemailsoIcalledtheoff
ice
andther ecept
ionisttol
dmet hatshehasn'
t
beenther ei
nov eramont h.Soshel i
edtome
aboutwher eshewasgoi ng,whywoul dshedo
that,
wher eisshe?
Idr
ovebacktothehouseandf
oundMaMar
tha
i
ntheki
tchen.
Me:
MaLi
l
iani
sst
il
lnotback?
Mar
tha:
No,
whyi
sther
esomet
hingwr
ong?
Me:YouandLi
l
ianarequi
tecl
oseandifshe
wasdoi
ngsomethi
ngwrongyouwouldtel
lme
r
ight
?
Mart
ha:
What
'sgoi
ngon?Whatwoul
dshedo
wr
ong?
Me:
Nev
ermi
nd.
Igoupst airsandandsear chfort hekeyf orher
sil
v erboxwher eshepl acesallheri mportant
things,i'
m notinv adingherprivacybutt hatis
theonl yplacethatwi ll
givemeani deaof
what 'sgoingon. Igotthekeyont opofher
closetandopenedt heboxandont opt hewasa
blueenv elopwithsomet hi
nginsidei t,
i
twasa
smal lbottl
ewithal iquidsubstanceandi twas
wr i
ttenArsenic.Ipacedar oundt heroom t ry
ing
tomakesenseofwhati sgoi ngonher e,why
wouldshedot his?
Iknowshewasnothappy
aboutthebabybutf orhertobet hisspitefulI
meant hi
sisArsenichadi tbeeninPr omi se's
syst
em longenoughi twouldhav ecompl etel
y
rui
nedherskinandi mmunesy stem.After30
minutesofdri
vingmy selfcrazywithallthese
quest
ionsIhearhercarpar kingandIhead
downstair
sandIst andbyt hekit
chenandshe
comesi nwit
hadi ffer
entaur awithher.
Li
l
y:Hi
ever
yone.
Iputt
hear
seni
cbot
tl
eint
hecount
er.
Li
l
y:What
'st
his?
Me:
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
out
hesamet
hing.
Li
l
y:Whyt
hehel
lwoul
dIknowwhatt
hisi
s?
Me:
BecauseIf
oundi
tiny
ourpr
eci
ousbox.
Li
l
y:What
?Youwentt
hroughmyt
hings?
Me:
Youmywi
fear
en'
tyou,
whatconf
usesme
aboutthi
sisthatthisver
ychemicali
stheone
thatki
ll
edmychi l
d,Promisei
sinthehospi
tal
becauseofthi
s.
Li
l
y:What
??
Me:St
opsay
ing"
what
"andexpl
ainwhati
s
goi
ngon?
Li
ly:
WhatdoyoumeanImustexpl
ainwhenI
knownot
hing(
loud)
Mar
tha:
Mnqobi
isupst
air
s,got
oyourr
oom.
Me:No,
expl
ainwhythechemicalt
hatpoisoned
Pr
omiseinyourt
hingsandyousupposedly
madeherbr
eakfastthi
smorni
ng.
Li
ly
:Ohhwow,Icannotbel
ievet
his.
Yout
hinkI
poi
sonedPr
omisetokil
lherchi
l
d.
Me:
Thenexpl
ainal
lthi
s.
Li
ly:
andy ouact
ual
lybeli
evethatIam capabl
e
ofki
ll
ingsomeoneelse'
schil
dwhenIknowv er
y
wellt
hepainofl
oosingachil
d.
Me:Idon'
tknowwhattobel
i
evesinceyougood
atl
yi
ngtome, wher
edi
dyougotoday?
Sheopensherey
eswi
deopen.
Me:That'swhatITHOUGHT, Idi
dn'
treali
sewe
hadsecretsinthi
smarr
iagebutthi
sLil
ianist
oo
l
owev enf oryou.
Li
l
y:Ev
enf
orme?
what
'
sthatsupposet
omean?
Me: Ihavetogoandconvi
ncePr
omisenott
o
presschargesagai
nsty
ou,whywoul
dyoudo
somet hi
ngli
kethi
s?
Li
ly
:YouknowwhatIwon' tdef
endmyselfany
l
onger,Itol
dyouIknownot hi
ngaboutthi
sand
i
fyouchosebel i
evethatdoso.Iwon'
tadmitt
o
somethingIdi
dn'
tdo.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT29
(
Weekl
ater
)
Mar
ia(
Queen)
.
Inal lhonest yIwasshockedbyt hecall
I
receiv edf r
om Mar t
ha2day sagot ell
i
ngmet o
comet oJohannesbur gsomet hingisgoingon
whi chmi ghtneedourat tention.
OfcauseI
coul dn'tleaveimmedi atelyduet osome
obligat ionsbutIhav enowar ri
vedandIam
maki ngmywayt ot heirhouse. Thecabdr ops
meof fandIgoi nsi
def indingMar t
hainthe
l
ivingr oom.
Me:
Goodaf
ter
noon,
howar
eyou?
Mart
ha:
Aft
ernoonMar
ia,
I
'm doi
nggood.
how
ar
eyou?
Me:
Iwoul
dbebet
teri
fIknewwhati
ssour
gent
.
Mar
tha:
Let
'sgot
otheki
tchenf
orsomet
ea
t
henwewi
l
ldi
scusst
his.
Wemadeourwaytot
hekitchenandshemade
bot
hofust
eawhil
eIsatdown.
Me:
Wher
eisev
ery
one?
Martha:
Idon'
tknow,
butPr
omi
sei
satt
he
cot
tage.
Me:Isti
l
lthi
nktheyar
ebot
hst
upi
dforl
ett
ing
herst
ayhere.
Mart
ha:Youri
ghtaboutt
hat
,t
hingshav
etakena
t
urnfortheworst
.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Martha:Thatgir
llostthechil
dduetoarsenic
poi
soning,whichMi kefoundinLi
l
ian'
sthings
andsupposedlyLili
anwast heonewhomade
herbreakf
astthatmor ning.
Me:What?Mikedi
dn'
tment
iont
hist
ome.Wai
t
yout
ryi
ngtosaytomeLi
li
anpoi
sonedt
hatgi
rl
?
Mar
tha:
Per
sonal
l
yIdon'
tthi
nkshedi
dbutal
l
t
heev
idencer
ightnowpoi
ntst
oher
.
Me:NoLil
i
anisnott
hatpet
ty,shewoul
dn'
tdo
suchathi
ng.
Mikebel
iev
esthat?
Mar tha:Sadl
yhedoesbutIthi
nkheissti
ll
cloudedbyt helossofy
etanot
herchi
ldandthe
tensioninthishousemakesmefearfort
he
wor st.
Me:Theyhav
ebeenthroughal
otI
'
m cer
tai
n
t
heywill
workthi
sout
.
Mart
ha:
Theysleepi
ngi
nsepar
ater
oomsand
actl
i
kestr
angers.
Me:
Yohhi
t'
sthatbad?
Mart
ha:ButIdon'
tthi
nkthati
stheonl
yprobl
em
bet
weenthem,somethi
ngelseisal
sogoi
ngon.
Me:Yesthereis,whyisthatgi
rlst
il
li
nthi
s
houseImeant here'
snobabyany moreso
what'
sherreasonf orbei
nghere?
Mar
tha:
Ireal
don'
tknowei
ther
.
Me:IthoughtLi
l
iannol
ongerwor
kssowher
eis
she?
Mar
tha:
Thatonei
sverysneakyl
atel
yshejust
l
eav
esforhour
sandsheisalway
sont heedge.
Weheardthedoorswingopenandwebot
h
l
ookedanditwasMike.
Mi
ke:
Mot
herIdi
dn'
tknowy
ouwer
ecomi
ng?
Me:So?Whydidn'
tyout
ell
meaboutwhat
happenedt
othatgi
rl
?
Mi
ke:
Iwasst
il
lgoi
ngt
o,wher
eisLi
l
ian?
Mar
tha:
Shel
eft
.
Mi
ke:
Ofcauseshedi
d.
Me:Wedoneedt ot
alkaboutwhati
sgoi
ngon
bet
weenyoutwobutwhatIwouldli
ket
oknow
i
swhythatgi
rli
ssti
l
linthi
shouse?
Mike:Act
ual
l
ythati
swhatIcameher
etosor
t
out.
Het ookouthisphoneandcal
ledPromiset o
comet othemainhouseandaf t
erafew
minutesshecameandhonest l
yIdon'tli
ket hi
s
gi
rlsbutloosi
ngachildi
snoteasyforany one
eventhoughIdidnotseeanypaini
nherey es
butthenagainevery
onegri
evesdif
ferentl
y.
Pr
omi
se:
Iam her
e.
Me:
Youdon'
tknowhowt
ogr
eet
?
Pr
omi
se:
Sor
rymyQueen,
Goodaf
ter
noon.
Mike:Lookwhathappenedt
oyouandourbaby
i
spainfulbutIt
hinki
t'
sti
mefory
outoleav
e
now.
Pr
omi
se:
What
?Wher
eam Isupposet
ogo?
Me:
hehhbana!
!
Mike:Idon'
tcare,
theonl
yreasonyouwer e
st
ayingherewasbecauseoft hebaby.Thebaby
i
sgoneandy ounotmyresponsibi
li
ty.
Pr
omi
se:
Soy
ourwi
feki
l
lsmybabyandal
most
ki
ll
smebutshegoesunpuni
shedwhi
l
eI
cont
inuet
osuf
fer
.
Mike:HowIdealwit
hmywif
eisnoneofy
our
busi
ness,Iwanty
ououtt
omorr
ow.
Promise:Shewi
l
lpayf
ort
his,
Iwi
l
lrepor
tthi
sto
thepoli
ce.
Mi
ke:
Wit
hwhatev
idence?
Pr
omi
se:
Youf
oundt
hear
seni
cinhert
hings.
Mike:Youthi
nkIwouldgetmywi fearr
est
ed
thenyoumorecrazythanIthought
.Li
l
iani
smy
wifeandthemotherofmyki dsandIwoul
ddo
anythi
ngtoprot
ectherregardl
essofwhet
herI
agreewit
hherchoicesornot,t
hati
smywi f
e
andIwill
dealwit
hherthewayIseef i
t.
Promi
se:
(cl
aps)Wowni
cespeech,
Iwonderi
f
shehast
hesamesenti
ment
s.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Pr
omi
se:
Asky
ourpr
eci
ouswi
fe.
Shewasaboutt owal
kawaywhenMi
ke
grabbedherhand.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Pr
omise:Iwonderhowherj
ail
edexf
it
sint
his
l
ovestor
yofyours.
BothMarthaandIlookedateachotheri
nshock
butmoreconcernedaboutMikeIcouldseet
he
angerbui
l
dupi nhim.
Mike:WhatdoesKagi
sohav
etodowi
th
anythi
ng?
Promise:
Wher edoyouthinkshedisappear
sto
andthoselet
tersshekeepsrecei
vi
ng?
Me:
Ntombat
aneIt
hinki
tst
imey
oul
eav
e.
Mi
ke:
Whatl
ett
ers?
Pr
omi
sewal
ksawaybackt
othecot
tage.
Mar
tha:
Youcan'
tbel
i
evewhatt
hatgi
rlsay
s.
Mi
ke:
Thenwhyi
sshel
yi
ngaboutherwher
e
about?
Me:
Justt
alkt
oLi
l
ianf
ir
st.
Mike:Shewi
lll
i
easusual.
Whywoul
dshekeep
vi
sit
ingKagi
soaft
erwhathedi
d.
Me:Maybei
thassomet
hingt
odowi
tht
hegi
rl
s
orCl
air
e.
Mike:St
opmaki
ngexcusesf
orher
,t
her
e's
nothi
nggoi
ngonwi
ththechi
ldr
en.
Promisecamebackwit
hasmal l
bagandput
thetwolet
ter
sonthecount
er.
Me:Wait,
i
fthosebel
ongt
oLi
l
ianhowdi
dyou
gett
hem.?
Promise:
Shewast hr
owi ngthem awayandI
sawherandt ookt
hem. Let
'shopeforyoursake
shesnotplanni
ngtoreconcil
ewithherex.
Shetookherbagandleftbutsomethi
ngi
sof f
aboutherst
oryandMikewasr eadi
ngthe
l
etter
sandhisfaci
alexpressi
onwasnotnice.
Mike:Ohhwow" Idon'
tknowhowt othankyou
forforgi
vi
ngmeandt hev i
sit
smeantal ottome
andt oansweryourstupidquest
ion,y
esy our
husbandmi ghthavedoneanumberonmebut
i
tstill
perfor
mst oit'
sAl ev
elandyouwi l
l
alwaysbemygr eatestlovetoo.
"
Me:
Cal
m down,
don'
tj
umpt
oconcl
usi
ons.
Mike:Howam Ij umpi
ngtoconclusi
onswhen
theytalki
ngabouthi spenisandbeingeach
other"greatestlove"
?Afteral
lIhavedonef or
herthisisthet hanksIget.
Honestl
yIdon'tsee
thepointoft hi
smar ri
ageifshesti
lll
ovesherex.
Mart
ha:
Nowy
oubei
ngi
mpul
siv
e,Tal
ktoher
f
ir
st.
Me:AndIdon'
tunder
standhowy
oubel
i
evet
hat
hoei
nsteadofy
ourwife?
Mike:Maybeifshewasn'
tlyi
ngsodamnmuchI
wouldbel
i
ev eher.I
'
llbei
nthestudy
.
Het
akest
hel
ett
ersandheadsupst
air
s.
Me:Iusual
lyj
okearoundaboutthem needi
ng
pr
ayersbutri
ghtnowtheyreal
l
ydo.
Mar
tha:
Letmegetst
art
edondi
nner
.
Me:
I'
ll
hel
p.
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
Mikecomesdownandt akesabot
tl
eofwat
er
fr
om thef
ri
dgeandthankGodheismore
cal
mernow,t
hedooropensandsomeone
screamsmyname.
Mnqobi
:
Gogo!
!!
!!
!(
runst
owar
dsme)
Me:
(Huggi
nghi
m)Myf
avour
it
egr
andson.
Mnqobi
:Imi
ssedy
ou.
Me:Imissedyout
oo,
may
bey
oushoul
dcome
andl
ivewithme.
Mnqobi
:Mhhno,
Il
ovel
i
vingwi
thmom.
Mar
tha:
SoI
'
minv
isi
blet
oday
.?
Mnqobi
:NoGogo,
Imi
ssedy
out
oo.
Mi
ke:
Whoy
oucomi
ngbackwi
th?
Mnqobi
:Mom, sheisi
nthecar.
Dadtookmet
o
seemyothergrandmothert
oday.
Mi
ke:
Didy
ouenj
oyi
t.
?
Mnqobi
:Yesi
twasf
un,
canIgoupst
air
s?
Me:
Sur
e.
Mnqobiranupst
airsandIsawLili
anclosi
ngt
he
doorandwhenshesawmei t'
sli
keshewas
conf
usedonwhet hert
osmi l
eorfrown.
Li
l
y:Ev
eni
ng,
maIdi
dn'
tknowy
ouwer
ecomi
ng?
Me:
Hel
l
omychi
l
d,It
houghtIshoul
dvi
sit
.
Li
l
y:That
'sgreat
,i
tsalway
sgoodtohav
eyou
ar
ound.
I'
m goingtotakeashower
.
Mar
tha:
Dinnerwi
l
lber
eadysoon.
Li
l
y:Okay
,thanky
ouf
ormaki
ngi
t.
Jesustheycoul
dn'tev
enlookateach
other
,Li
li
antookherbagandwhenshewas
aboutt
owal
kupst
air
sMi
kespoke.
Mi
ke:
Wher
ewer
eyou?
Li
l
y:Youknowhowt
otal
kkant
i?
Mi
ke:
Iaskedy
ouaquest
ion.
Li
ly:AndIdon'tr
epor
tmywhereaboutst
oyou
butifyoumustknowIwasnotpoisoni
ng
anyone.Happynow?
Mike:
Whyi si
tsohar
dfory
out
otel
lmewher
e
youwere?
Li
ly
: IwasatNandi
'spl
aceandi
fyoudon'
t
bel
ievemey oucancal
lhert
oconf
ir
m.
Sheconti
nuedwi t
hherwalkandallthi
st i
meI
wasjustsi
tt
ingtherethi
nki
ngwhatint hehel
li
s
goingonhere,
itsli
ketheyar
eperfectstr
angers
andthecommuni cati
onisworse.
Mike'
sphone
rangandhepickeditup.
Mike:Yougotthem?ThanksmanIreall
y
appreci
atei
tjustemai
li
t.
..
.Tyi
fIneededyour
opi
nionIwoul
dhav
easkedf
ori
tby
e.
Me:
Whatwast
hatal
labout?
Mike:
IaskedTyt
oretr
aceherwher
eabout
sfor
t
hepasttwoweeks.
Mar
tha:
Mzi
wonke!
!!
Me:Youput
ti
ngt
absonhernow?Howl
ongwi
l
l
t
hisgoon?
Mike:
Unti
lshedeci
destobehonest
,Iwantt
o
seewher
ethiswil
lend.
Me:
Igi
veup,
thi
sisnotheal
thy.
Thisisyourmarri
agenotsomepl aygr
ound,
if
youtwowantt osortthisoutsi
tdownandtal
k
aboutitbecausethi
spet t
ygamey oubot
h
playi
ngwon'tendnicely.
Mi
ke:
I'
m nott
heonewhoi
sly
ing.
Me:(shout
s)DammitMziwonke,stopbei
ng
stupi
d.whendidyoustar
tbeingnaiv
eDon'ty
ou
seethatgi
rlpl
ayedyouli
kethefoolyouar
eand
guesswhatshei
sact
ual
l
ywi
nni
ng.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT30
Li
l
ian
Myemot i
onsar er unninghi ghIdon' twhet herI
am sadt hatmyhusbandbel i
ev est hatIwoul d
poisonsomeoneormygui ltoft hev isitsI'
v e
givi
ngKagi soandhonest lyImi ssmyhusband
.LastnightIcoul dn'tsl
eepatal l becauseSi ya
wasupal l
nightcr yingandhekeptonr ubbing
hisearsoIam t akinghimt othedoct orjustto
checkifhehasnoi nfecti
oni nhi sear. Ihav enot
reall
ypaidattent i
oni nthehouseandIknow
Mar i
ameanswel lbutIkindofneedal lofthem
outofmybusi nessandal lowmet odeal with
mymar riagepr oblemsal one. Igetupf rom the
bedandwentst rai
ghtt othemi rrorandmyey es
werebl oodshotr edwi theyebagsunder neat h
I
'mv erysensi t
iveaboutmysl eepsoi fIdidn't
getenoughy oucaneasi lytellbutasmommy
duti
eswoul dhav eitIhav et oprepar eMnqobi
forschool .Iputonmyr obeandmov edSi yat o
themiddl eoft hebedsi nceIhadt osl eepwi t
h
himlastni ghtandhei sasleepr ightwhi chi sa
goodt hing. Themoni torhasnotgoneof fthat
meansNel i
isst il
lsleeping,Iwalkv erytiredlyto
Mnqobi 'sroom buthewasnott hereandhi s
bedwasmadeup. Iwal kdownst ai
rsandt hey
werehav i
ngbr eakfastIwonderwhocookedbut
youknowwhatIam gl adi t
'
snotmeIdon' twant
tobebl amedagai nifpeopl egetpoi soned, okay
that
'spr obabl ybeingt oopet tyespeci all
y
becausemyboyi sal soeat i
ngt hef ood.
Me:
Mor
ning!
!
Isai
dasIpouredmysel
fcof
feeandaddi
ng
anot
herspoonoft
hecof
feegranul
es.
Mar
ia:
Mor
ningKot
i,
somuchcof
fee?
Mnqobi
:Mor
ningmommy
.
Me:
Ineedi
t,Ionl
ysl
eptar
ound4.
Mar
ia:
Why?
Me:Siy
awasrestl
essthewhol
enightcr
ying
andhepoki
nghisearsoI'
mtaki
nghimtot he
doct
or.
Mi
ke:
Andyoudi
dn'
tseethei
mpor
tancet
otel
l
mewhenmychi
l
dissick?
Me:Mathankyouf
orgett
inghi
mready,
the
t
ranspor
tshoul
dbeher
esoon.
Mi
ke:
Soy
oudi
dn'
thearmej
ustnow?
Mar
ia:
Noti
nfr
ontoft
hechi
l
d.
Me: That
'swhatI'
mt r
yingt
oav oi
d,
letmegoget
ready.MashouldIcall
thenannyoryouwil
lbe
abletowatchNeli
siwe?
Mar
ia:
Noneed,
Iwi
l
lwat
chher.
Me:
Thanks.
IcouldfeelMi
ke'
seyespokingaholei
nmyf ace
butIam seri
ousl
ynotinthemoodoffighti
ng
withhim.It
ookmycoffeeandheadedbackt o
myr oom andbef
oreIcouldcl
osethedoorMi ke
blockedit,
Idi
dn'
tevenknowhewasbehi ndme.
Me:
WHAT?
??
Mi
ke:
Mov
e
Imov edlikehesai dandhemadehi swayt othe
bedt aki
ngSi yaandleftwit
hhim,f
unnyenough
whathej ustdiddi dn'
tevengett
ome. Itookoff
myr obepl aceditonthebedandtookof fmy
Pj'
sleavingmei nmypant i
esandIheardthe
doorswi ngopenandIal mostjumpedbuti twas
j
ustMi ke.
Me:
Ther
e'sar
easonwhysanepeopl
eknock.
Mike:Li
li
anIdon'
tcar
ewhatmaybegoingon
betweenusbutwhenitcomestomychi
ldr
en,
I
needtobeinfor
medimmediatel
y.
Me:
Goti
t,nowcanIcont
inuewi
thwhatIwas
doi
ng?
Mi
ke:Andwhenwerey
ougoi
ngtot
ell
met
hat
Mnqobii
sgoi
ngtoKZNwi
thVuy
o?
Me:
Iwasst
il
lgoi
ngt
odot
hat
.
Mike:Thi
siswhatIhate,
wemarriedbuty
ou
makedecisi
onswithoutt
alki
ngt
ome, we
supposetomaket..
..
Me:
Ayyjustl
eavei
t,
Iwi
llmakedeci
sionabout
MYchi
l
dt hewayIseef
it.
Mike:
OhhIdin'
treal
i
sewewer
egoi
ngt
hat
r
oute(l
eav
es)
Me:
Mike!
!!
!!
Idi
dn'tmeantosaythat,hemightnotbehis
bi
ological
fat
herbutpl
ay sani
mpor t
antrol
ein
hi
slif
eandheshoul dbepartofdeci
sions
whereMnqobi i
sconcern.
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
Ij
ustcamebackf
rom t
hedoct
orsandy
eshe
hadaslightinfect
ionbuttheygavemet heear
dropstouse. Ipar
kt hecarandgoti
nsidethe
houseandf oundMar i
aandMarthat
oget her
withNeliandimmedi atel
ywhenIgotinMar i
a
rantomeandt ookSi y
a.
Mar
ia:
Gocheckonyourhusband,
hecol
l
apsed
whi
l
ey ouwer
egone.
Idon'tthinkIhaveev erwal
kedthatfasti
nmy
l
ife,y
eshemi ghtbeanar seonmybackr i
ght
nowbutt hatismymanandIl ovehim.Iwalked
i
nt oourbedr oom andhewasj ustl
ayingthere
l
ooki ngatt heroofl
ikeheisstudyi
ngit.
Me:
Yourmo.
..
..
Icutmysel
fwhenIhear
dthedoorbangi
ngand
l
ockedfr
om out
side*
Whatthef
uck*
Maria:Idon'
tcarei
fIhavetohearyoumoanf or
met obeconv i
ncedthaty
ouguy shavesort
ed
thi
ngsout .
sogetcomfort
ablebecauseyounot
gett
ingoutunti
lyousortt
hiswholemess
out,
wegotthekidsandwewil
lgi
veyouf
oodi
f
youplanonstay
ingheremuchl
onger
.
Igroanedi nf
rust
rat
ionasIhear
dherleaveand
Iwal kedinmyclosetandtookoutablanket
andIsl eptonmysideofthebedcoveri
ngmy
sel
f,Iam inneedofsleepandIwil
ldealwith
thi
slater.
.
.
Pr
omi
sePov
Isi
tinthesecol
dbenchesasIwaitforhimto
comeoutandi nl
essthan10minuteshecomes
outandImustsayit'
sbeenawhil
esi nceIsaw
him pr
isonissur
elyhavi
nganeff
ectonhi m.
?
??:
Cuzzy!
!looksaty
ou(
huggi
ng)
Me:Razorhi
msel
fint
hef
lash,
feel
sli
keal
i
fe
t
imecuz.
Kagi
so:
It'
sgoodt
oseey
ou.
Me:Sameher
e,y
ouokay
?Youhav
en'
tcal
l
edi
n
awhil
e?
Kagi
so:Iknowhey,butyouknowhowpr
isoni
s
.Howistheplangoing?
Me:I
t'
sgoingokay,
hetot
all
yboughtt
he
pr
egnancyst
oryandpoi
soni
ng.
Kagi
so:It
oldyoui
twoul
dwor
k,t
hatguyi
s
act
ual
lyafool
.
Me:Whydi
dn'
tyouwar
nmet
hatLi
l
iani
sthat
hot
?
Kagi
so:
Don'
ttel
lmey
ouact
ual
l
y..
Me:No,Ihadtocontr
olmyself.
Butt
heyqui
te
t
ightI
'
m notsurethi
sisenough.
Kagiso:Don'tworr
yaboutthat,Iam goi
ngto
gettoLil
ian.Myparolewasfinali
sedsoI'l
l
probabl
ybeoutoutofher einaweekandIwi l
l
haveeasyaccesst oher,
weneedt ogettothe
nextlev
el soon.
Me: Sur
ewel lIgotthedetai
l
sandwecanbe
abletotransf
erallofhismoneyt
otheaccount
butwehav et
odoi tbitbybi
tsoi
twon'
tbe
suspici
ous.
Kagiso:Thatsonofabit
chisgoi
ngtoregr
et
evercrossingme,It
houghtt
herapethi
ng
wouldbr eakhi
m buthei
smor et
ougher.
Me:Man, thatwasembar rassi
ng.Youknow
whenIpickedhi m upaft
erMar t
inezdumped
himthereIhadt oli
stentohimrehashthest
ory
andallevents,
itwaskindofgrossbuttheydi
d
thei
rjobwell.
Kagi
so:
Iwantt
oseehi
m gr
ovel
l
ingonme.
Me:Butthei
deaofKidnappi
ngbothhiski
ds
waskindofni
ce,
thatwouldbreakhi
m.
Kagi
so:
No, Imayhat
ehi
m butt
hoseki
dsar
e
al
sopartofLi
li
anso.
.
Me:Damm thatwomani
sbangi
ng,
thewayshe
wal
ksjesus.
Kagi
so:Okay,
okayIgeti
t.Ihav
eseent
hatbody
manyti
mes.
Me:Okayl
etmego,
I
'l
lcomeagai
ntomor
rowt
o
f
ini
shthepl
ans.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT31
Li
l
ian
It
'sbeen6hour ssincewehav ebeenl ockedi n
hereandhonest l
yt hi
sisannoying,Imeanwe
areadult
sandcanmakeourchoi cesaboutour
l
ivesnotbel ockedupi nherel
ikeki ds.Atleast
theykepttheirpromisebecauset heysneaked
i
nf oodwhichIhar dlyate,
whatIneedr ightnow
i
smyphonebutt heytookthem too. Isi
tupand
got hr
oughmydr awerhopeful
lyIst ashedsome
bookintherebecauseIwi ll
bursti fIdon'tdo
anythi
ngespeci
all
ybecauseIfeel
li
kei
'
m wi
tha
str
anger,
hehasn'tsai
danythi
ng.
It
akeoutsomet
hingsoutt
hedr
awer
.
Mi
ke:
Howdi
dwegether
e?
It
urnandlookathi
m buthei
sfaci
ngtheother
di
rect
ionsi
tti
ngi
nthesameposit
ionIam i
n.
Me:
Youtel
lme,y
out heonewhoseaccusi
ng
meofpoi
soni
ngyourgir
lf
ri
end.
Mi
ke:
Soshe'
smygi
rl
fr
iendnow?
Me:
Yout
aki
nghersi
dei
nst
eadofy
ourwi
fe'
s.
Mi
ke:
Shoul
dIt
akey
our
s?
Me:I'
m notevengoi
ngt
oanswerthat,buti
fI
di
dpoisonherwhywoul
dIputtheevidence
ri
ghti
nthishouse?
Mike:
Howam Isupposet
oknow,
Idon'
tknow
howyourmi
ndworksnow.
Ichangemyposi
ti
onandl
ookathi
m butIam
f
aci
nghi
sback.
Me:IknowIhav edonesomest upidt hingsin
mylif
ebutIwoul dneverkil
lani nnocentchi l
d
nomat terhowmuchIhat ethemot her,andas
myhusbandy oushouldknowt hat.Ihat ed
Tshepi
somor ethanIhatePr omi sebutIst i
ll
l
ovedandr aisedherkids.Idon'
tknowwhyy ou
sohellbentonbel i
evi
ngt hatIdiditwhenIhav e
donenot hi
ngbutsuppor tyour egardlessof
howIhat edt heideaofy ouhav ingachi ldwith
someoneel se.
Mike:Tshepiso'
skidswerediff
erentbecause
theywerealsopartofthel
ov eofyourli
feso
obviousl
yyouwoul drai
sethem .
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Mike:
Youhear
dme,
i
sn'
tKagi
soy
ourgr
eat
est
l
ove?
Ifel
tast
ingi
nmythr
oatasmyeyespoppedout
athowheknewt
hatbutt
henofcausei
fhe
wentt
hroughtheboxhesurel
ysawthelet
ter
s
,damnwhydidn'
tIthi
nkaboutthi
sbef
ore.
Mike:
What? Youcan'
ttal
know?(
Iremained
qui
et)younotevengoi
ngtodenyi
t.Yousti
l
l
l
ovehim?
Me:
No
Mike:
Whydi
dyouli
etomeaboutyourv
isi
tsto
hi
m?andwhyarey
oueveni
ncontactwi
thhim?
Me:Hecont
acthi
m andhesai
dhewantedt
o
t
alkt
omeaboutsomethingi
mport
antandI
t
houghtt
hatmaybei
thadsomethi
ngtodowit
h
t
hegir
lst
hat'
swhyIwent.
Hest oodupandfacedmewi t
hbothhishands
i
nt hepocketandOhhboythefacehehasright
nowi snottheonetopl
ayaroundwit
h
especial
lywhenhehasapoppingvei
ninhis
for
ehead.
Mike:You'
vegot
tensogoodatl
yi
ng,
youev
en
bel
iev
ey our
sel
f.
Me:
I'
m notl
yi
ng.
Mike:Okayt
hen,
tel
lmeev
ery
thi
ngt
haty
ou
t
alkedabout.
Me:
Ther
ewasnot
hingmuch.
Mike:
Ohhsoyouvi
sit
edhimthr
eetimesandall
t
histi
meyouwerej
ustst
arr
ingateachot
her?
Me:
Youhadmef
oll
owed?
Mike:
Ifyouhav
ealyi
ngwifel
i
kemi
nesy
ou
needtodowhatyougott
odo.
Me:Igett hatyouangrybuti'
m notyour
possession,keepi
ngtabsonmet hat
'sext
reme
.Whatel seareyourecordi
ngmyphone
conversati
ons?
Mi
ke:
Ithoughtabouti
t.
Me: I
'm notgoi
ngthr
oughthisagai
n,Ihada
psychopathbefor
eI'
m notabouttodealwi
th
anotherone.
Mi
ke:
(f
akesl
aughcl
appi
nghi
shands)Hei
sa
psychopathnow?Youf orgott
hatwhenyou
weretalki
ngabouthis(LOUD)PENISandhow
heisthe"great
estloveofyourl
if
e"Am Iwr
it
ten
stupi
dinmyf oreheadLil
i
an?
Ishakemyheadnonotevenl
ookingathi
m,he
i
sscarri
ngt
heshitoutofmer
ightnow.
Mike:Becausethat
'showIfeelr
ightnow,
how
am Isupposetofeelaboutt
his?
Me:
MikeIwasgoi
..
..
Mike:Ifyougoingtoliej
ustshut
up(shouts)
,becausewebot hknowy ouwerenot
goingtotellmeandi fPromisehadn'
tshown
met hi
sletter
sy ou'
dstil
lbelyi
ngtomeand
sneakingaround.
Me:Backup,
Promi
se?howi
sshei
nvol
vedi
n
t
his?
Mike:
Shegavemethesel
ett
ers,
theonesy
ou
werethr
owi
ngaway
.
Me:
(conf
used)Thr
owi
ngaway
?
Mike:
Shesawyouthrowingthem awayand
t
ookthem f
rom t
hedustbin.
Me: That'
snotpossibl
ebecauseIdi
dn'
tthr
ow
thoselett
ers,
Iputthem i
ntheboxinablue
envelope.
Mike:
Ohhwow, sot
heyaret
hati
mport
ant?you
knowwhatLili
anify
ouwanttogobackyour
l
overfeel
freetodothi
s.
Iwasnotlist
eningtohim,alotwasgoing
throughmymi nd.Mikefoundthear
senicbot
tle
i
nt heboxandt helett
erswerenott
here,how
didPromisegetherhandsi nthem.
Me:
Thatbi
tch.
.
Mi
ke:Pleasedon'
t,r
ightnowi
snott
het
imet
o
makeyourselfasai
nt.
Me:MikeIdi
dn'
tpoi
sonPr
omi
se,
shepoi
soned
her
sel
f.
Mike:
(l
aughs)Nowyouhav
elosty
ourmi
nd,
why
wouldshedothat
.?
Me:Tofr
ameme,wher
edi
dyouf
indt
hear
seni
c
bot
tl
especi
fi
cal
l
y?
Mi
ke:
Thebl
ueenv
elope.
Helooksatmewi thadi
ff
erentlook,
heseems
i
nterest
edinthi
snow,asmuchasIhat ethe
prot
ecti
veunitbuti
tmadehim smart
erbecause
i
fthiswastheoldMikehewouldlonganswered
thi
spuzzle.
Me:Thel et
terswereinthatenvelopeandI
di
dn'tt
hr owthem away ,
nowwhywoul dshesay
It
hrewt hem whent heywereactuall
yinthebox
,meaningshewentt omyboxquest ioni
swhat
wasshedoi ngthere?
Mike:Unlessshewentt
her
etopl
antt
he
ar
...
.seni
c.
Me:Exact
lyandt
ookanadv
ant
ageoft
he
l
ett
ers.
Mike:
(st
andsup)Whywoul
dshepoi
sonhersel
f
andkil
lherchi
l
d?
ME:Thi
s,shewant
edt
odr
awawedgebet
ween
usandshedid.
Mike:Shei
snott
heonl
yoner
esponsi
blef
or
t
his.
Me:Okayf
ine,IknowIhavealottodowi
tht
his
butwewil
ltal
kaboutthatl
ater.
Mike:
Shepl
ayedmeandont
opoft
hatki
l
ledmy
chi
ld.
Iwatchashestandsbyt
hewindowthi
nki
ng
,af
terabout5minut
eshecamebacktothebed
andlookedatme.
Mi
ke:Yourhonest
yinwhati
'
m abouttoasky
ou
wi
l
ldeter
minethefut
ureoft
hismarr
iage.
Igul
pedr
eal
lyhar
dbecauseIal
readyknew
whathewasgoi
ngtoaskme.
Mi
ke:
Doy
oust
il
ll
oveKagi
so?
Me:
(cl
oseey
es)
Mi
ke:
Lookatme,
openy
ourey
es.
Me: Apar tofmewi llalway slovehi m ev en
thoughhedi dwhathedi dt ome, Kagisowas
themanIdesi redfory earswhi l
eIwasi nNew
Yorkandhewasmyf ir
statev erythingsoy esI
willalway shav ethatlittl
ecompassi onatef or
him butbei ngwi thhim al sothoughtmet he
diff
er encebet weeni deal l
ov eandr eallove.Wit
h
himi twasi deal l
ov e,fantasybutwi thyoui ti
s
reallov e,
l
ov et hatIdon' twantt ocompr omi se
orbr eak.Iknowi t'
susual lyacl i
chewhen
peopl esayf oreternitybutt hat'swhatIwant
withy ou. Hewast hegr eatestlov eofmyl i
febut
youhol dmyhear tiny ourhandsandIdon' t
wanty out oev erdr opi tbecausei ny ourhands
i
tf i
tsper fect l
ysoi smysoul .
Iam awar et hat
thi
smadey oudoubtmyl ovef oryouorusbut
don't,Ilovey ousomuchandourf ami l
yand
there'snomanIwantt obewi t
hexcepty ouand
i
fIeverhadtoloseyouIswearIwouldbecome
anunbecausenoonet r
eatsmewi thsuchlov
e
andpati
enceasy ou.
Iam alunati
cIknowbut
youputupwithmeandl ovemel i
kether
e'sno
tomorr
ow andbesides(
smile)
onlyyourdi
ck
knowshowt otameme.Iloveyou.
Il
ookathim andheisnotevenshowingany
aff
ect
iontowhatI'
m sayi
ngdamnt hismanis
hardt
ocrackbutmyey esquickl
yfal
ldownat
hi
sgrowingbulge,
ni
ce.
Mi
ke:
Comeher
e!
Iwal
knextt
ohi
m andgr
absmywai
st.
Mike:Fi
rst
lyasexaddi
ctl
i
key
oucannev
erbea
nun(l
aughs)
Me:
Ther
e'saf
ir
stt
imef
orev
ery
thi
ng.
Mike:Thankyouforbei
nghonestandIcantell
i
twasnoteasyf oryout
oadmitthattomeor
yoursel
fbutI
'
m gladyoudi
dandI '
m sorryf
or
notbeli
evi
ngyouinthepoi
soningissueasyour
husbandIshoul
dhaveknownyouwoul dn'
tdo
thatandIknowify
ourasswasnotinthedog
houseeit
heryouwoul
dbehav i
ngadozenof
demandsbutthist
imearoundwesquar e.
Me:
Iguesswear
e,canIgetahugImi
ssedy
ou?
Mike:
(huggi
ng)Youaresuchababybuty
oumy
babyandIloveyou.
Me: Il
oveyoutoobuthowthehell
arewegoi
ng
totell
thosefool
sdownstai
rst
hatwegood
becausetheydon'tknowt
hatt
hisroom i
s
soundproofed.
Hehasasmirki
nhisfaceandbef
oreIcoul
d
evenaskwhyhet
hrowsmeont hebedgett
ing
ontopofme.
Mike:Theydon'
tneedtoknowy
et(
sli
deshi
s
handsonmypant i
esrubbi
ngmycl
i
t)
Me:
Ahhwhatdoy
ouhav
einmi
nd?
Mi
ke:
About10t
hingsIcandot
oyou,
youwi
l
lbe
scr
eami
ngi
nthe1one.
Heinser
tshi
stwofinger
swhi
lesucki
ngthehel
l
outofmyneckwit
hmymout hnexttohi
sear.
Me:
Iwantonemor
e(Iwhi
speri
nhi
sear
)
Hest
opst hemovementinhi
shandsandl
ooks
mestr
aightint
heeyes.
Mi
ke:
Onemor
ewhat
?
Me:
bigheadofy
our
s.
Mi
ke:
Yousur
e?
Me:
Iwi
l
lchangemymi
ndi
nthenext2mi
nut
es.
Mi
ke:
Ohhhel
lno(
kissesme)
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT32
Mi
ke
Iwouldbely i
ngifIsai
dIam notoverj
oyedthat
Lili
anandIhav esort
edoutouri
ssuesbutasf or
Promisethisisnotthel
astti
meshewi ll
hear
from me,somet hi
ngtel
lsmethereismoreto
thisst
oryandIwi l
lfi
ndout.
Iputonmywat chpreparingt ogodownst ai
rs
forbreakfast,Lynnhasgot tenusedt owaki ng
upear l
ybecausei tsaSat urdayt odaybutshe's
alr
eadyup. Iwalkdownst airsintothekitchen
andMnqobi isintheloungewat ching
Tv,wonderwher emymot heri sbutknowi ngher
shewi l
lpopoutofnowher e.Isneakbehind
Lil
ianholdingherwai standsher estsherhead
onmyshoul der.
Me:
HowcomeInev
erscar
eyou?
Li
l
y: BecauseIcansenseyourpr
esencef
rom a
di
stance(tur
ns)Morni
ngbaby(ki
sses)
Me:
Mor
ningmyl
ove,
whaty
oumaki
ng?
Li
l
y:Ful
lbr
eakf
ast
,si
tdown.
Me:
Iki
ndofli
kewhereIam ,y
ourasski
ndof
f
eel
samazi
nginthi
sposit
ion.
Li
ly:
(pushesmeaside)
Thatisexact
lywhyI
wantyouawayfrom me,Idon'
twantto
tr
aumatizemybaby.
Imovetot heothersi
deofthecounterandI
don'
tknowwhybutourey esjustl
ockedand
shebl
ushedandshel ooksbeauti
ful
whenshe
doesthat
,Lil
ianandIaremessedupashel lbut
i
tsmoment sli
kethi
sthatmakeusf i
ghtforour
l
ove.
Mari
a:Jesuscany
out
wost
opundr
essi
ngeach
ot
her.
Webothlookatherdir
ect
ionandshehadher
sui
tcasewit
hher ,
asmuchasIlovemymotherI
am gl
adsheisleavi
ng.
Li
l
y:Hai
boomay
oul
eav
ingal
ready
?
Mari
a:Yes,
phel
aI'm noty
ouIcannotgot
he
whol
eweekwithoutsomelov
ing.
Me:
Ewwmot
her
!!
Maria:What?Youangr ownassman, thi
sisnot
new.ButbeforeIleav
eIdowantt osay
thi
s,
communi cationi
sessent iall
yinamar r
iage
eventheli
tt
lethingsmat ter
.Youbot hgrown,we
cannotbetheonest ocomeupwi thway st
o
makey outalkwheny ouhav eissues.I
fIhaveto
comeupher eagai nforyourcr azi
nessIwil
lkil
l
someone.
Lil
y:Wepromisewewi
ll
dobet
terandt
hank
youforput
ti
ngupwit
hus.
Mar
ia:
Youl
uckybecauseIl
ovey
oubot
h.
Me:Iwasaboutt
oaskwhyy
ounev
erdonet
hat
wi
thNosi.
Mar
ia:ShewasnotLi
l
ian,
andsheshal
lfor
ever
r
emainyourwi
fe.
Me:Iagreewit
hyouonthatone(huggi
ngher
)
Tr
avelsafeandcal
lwhenyouarr
ive.
Mari
a:That
'si
fIr
emembert
hatwhenIget
home.
Li
li
anburst
soutlaughi
ngatherst
atementas
shemovestothelounget
osayhergoodbyeto
Mnqobi
.
Lil
y:(
laughi
ng)Yourmot
heri
soff
ici
all
ymy
favouri
tehumanbeingi
nthewor
ld.
Me:
Shei
sembar
rassi
ngact
ual
l
y.
Mar
ia:
(cal
l
ingout
)I'
m gone!
!!
Us:
Byee
Me:
ThankJesusf
orheav
ens.
Li
ly
:Heybaby,Tuesdayt
het
winsaretur
ning1
soIwasthi
nkingofhavi
ngsomethi
ngforthem
asacel
ebrat
ion.
Me:WowIcan'tbel
iev
eit,t
heywere3months
notsol
ongagobutnowt heyar
ecrawl
ingand
dest
roy
ingev
erythi
ngtheycangett
hei
rhands
on.
Lil
y:Iam gladt
heygr owi
ngupbecauseyour
kidsarebigmaintenance,t
heyshoul
dbeawake
futhi
.SoIcanplansomet hi
ng?
Me:
Nopr
obl
em baby
,t
ell
mewher
eIcanhel
p.
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
-
Ifi
nishedmybr eakf
astandclear
edthet
abl
e
andputt hedi
shesinthesinkwhil
eMnqobi
fi
nishedhisdr
ink.
Mnqobi
:I'
m goi
ngt
otheswi
ngsatt
heback.
Me:Okaybuddy,
remembery
ourdadi
spi
cki
ng
youuplat
er.
Mnqobi
:Okay
.
IlookoveratLi
l
ianandshewasst
il
lfeedi
ngt
he
twins.
Me:
Baby,
youcaneatI
'
llt
akeov
erher
e.
Lil
y:I
tsfi
net
heydoneany
way,
thanky
ou
though.
Si
ya:
mamamama(
Jumpi
ng)
Li
l
y:Yebof
ana
Si
ya:
mamamaa
Me:
(laughs)Hei
saf
anofy
out
oday
.
Li
ly
:Atleast,
Lit
tl
emissdynami
teoverher
e(Nel
i
)
i
sinherfeeli
ngsyouknowshehat
esporri
dge.
Me:
Iwonderwhoshet
ookaf
ter.
Shestoodupandsatt het
winsont hefl
oorand
webothmadeourwayt otheki
tchenandI
i
mmedi at
elypushedhertothewallki
ssi
ngher
andrubbi
ngonherclitandshebitherl
iptr
ying
nott
omoan.
Li
l
y:mhhhst
op.
Me:
Whynot
?al
lthi
sismi
ne,
i
sn'
ti
t?
Li
l
y:(
bit
esl
i
p)Mhhy
esbutt
heki
dsar
eher
e.
Ispedupmypaceandshet hr
ewherheadon
myshoulderandherbodyt
ensedupbutmy
stupi
dphoner i
ngedr uini
ngthewholemoment
asItri
edtoignoreitbutitkeptonr
ingi
ngsoI
pull
edoutansweringi t.
Me:
What
???
Mxo:
"Bossy
ouneedt
ocomeseet
his,
i
tsur
gent
"
Me:
Ihopei
tswor
thi
tfory
out
orui
nmyday
.
Idr
oppedthecal
landl
ookedov
eratLi
l
ianand
shewaseati
ng.
Me:BabyIhav
etogo(
kissesher
)wewi
l
lfi
nish
t
hisl
ater
.
Li
ly:Iloveyou,don'
tforgetmybr
other
sare
comi ngov erfordi
nnerandyouwil
lfi
nal
l
ymeet
Sizwe' sgi
rlf
ri
end.
Me:
OkayIwon'
t,
bye.
It
ookmycarkey
sandstr
aight
lydr
ov etothe
of
fi
cewher
etheguy
shaveabackof fi
cewhere
wehav
eoursyst
ems,Imayhavequittheuni
t
butmyresour
cesst
il
lremai
nmine.Iwalki
n
andtheguysar
eall
li
nedupinf
rontofthebi
g
scr
een.
Me:
Sowhat
sgoi
ngon?
Mxo:
Lookatt
hat
(poi
ntsatt
hescr
een)
Me:
Icanseei
t,butwhatneedsmyat
tent
ion.
Mxo:Thati
sy ourpr
ivat
ecardaccount,
lookat
t
hemoneyt hathasbeenwi
thdrawninthepast
4hours.
Me:
What?
??Wi
thdr
awnbywho?R500000?
Mxo: Westil
ltr
aci
ngt hetr
ansferaccount,
and
whoev ert
hisisknowswhatt heydoing
becauseit
'sinhourl
yinter
val
s.
Me:Fi
ndwhoev
erthisi
s,peopl
ear emessi
ng
wi
thmenow.Tr
ansfert
heremainingmoneyto
Li
l
ian'
scar
dandfr
eezemyot heraccount
s.
Mxo:
Bosslady'
scar
dhasnol
i
mit
?wet
alki
ng
al
most2.
5bil
li
onhere.
Me:Okayt r
ansferwhatev
eramountyoucant
o
heranddistr
ibut
etheremaini
ngt
oother
acoount
s.
Jay :I
fwesuddenlybl
ockev
eryt
hingwhoever
thisismightnot
iceandr
unsorcovert
heir
tracks.
Me: Howlongwi
l
litt
akey
out
otr
acet
he
account
?
Jay
:I'
m cl
ose,
wit
honemor
etr
ansact
ionIcan
beabl
eto.
Me:OkayMxol eav
esomeamountther
efor
t
hem totake.
Findwhoev
ert
hisi
sIneedtodeal
wi
ththem.

.
.
.
Li
l
ian
Ifini
shst r
appingthetwinsoutofthecarinto
thepr am andmyphonev i
bratestoamessage
andwhenIr eadtheIalmostcollapse,
IknowI
am richbutIhav eneverhadthisamountinmy
nameandwher ethehelli
sitcomingfrom.I
closet hecarandtakemywal letoutbecauseI
wantt odosomegr oceryshoppingfordi
nner
,myphoner i
ngsandi tsMike.
Mike:
"Don'
tpani
c,Iam t
heonewhot
ransf
err
ed
t
hatmoneyt oyou"
Me:
What
?AR1.
3BI
LLI
ON?
Mi
ke:
"Iwi
l
lexpl
ainl
ater"
Me:
Fine.
Idr
opt hecal
landpusht
hepram asIwalk
i
nsi
det hemall,
IknewMi
kewasf i
l
thyr
ichthanI
am butabil
li
onair
e?nowthati
snewtomeand
whyhashenev ertol
dmethi
s.
Igeti
nsi
detheshopst
artcol
l
ect
ingtheit
emsI
wantwit
hthehel
pofoneoftheworker
s
becausei t
sast ruggl eformet oshopal one
withtheki ds. Nel istart
scr yingl oudlyeven,thi
s
chil
dissuchabr atandshecanonl ybewor se
withaf atherwhoi sabi ll
ionaire, Ikneelbef
or e
them tryingtocal m herdownbecausepeopl e
werenowst arring* great*.Ifi
nallymanagedt o
calm herdownwhi chr emi ndsmeIhav etobuy
herteethingmedi cationbecauseMar t
hadid
sayshe' sint hatphase. AsIst andupIt ripi
nt o
somet hingormor el i
kesomeoneandIal most
fal
lbutt hankheav enwhoev ert hisiswasabl e
tograbmebef oreIt ouchedt hef loor
.
?
??:
Youokaymam?
Me:
(f
ixi
ngmysel
f)
Yest
hanky
ou(
looksup)
Bot
h:Li
l
ian?
.Ter
rence?
Me:
Wowt
hiswor
ldi
sreal
l
ysmal
l,
isn'
ti
t?
Terr
y:Humorhasn'tchangedatal
l
,Li
l
ian
Khumaloi
ntheflashaftersomanyyear
s.
Me:
Ohhpl
ease,
youTHEETer
renceJandat
he
mostf
amousl
awy
eri
nGaut
eng.
Terr
y :
OhhwowIst
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evei
t,
wher
eis
Clai
re?
Me:Sheisal
lgrownup,shei
sinLondonand
guesswhatsheisst
udy
ing?
Ter
ry:
Law?
Me:
Yep
Ter
ry:Itoldy
out
hatgi
rlwast
oosmar
tand
opi
nionated.
Me:
Ohhwow,
weneedt
ocat
chuphey
.
Terr
y:Weshoul
d,
butnowthatIknowy
ouher
eI
cangety
ournumbers,
I'
l
lcal
lyou.
?
??:
DadIt
hinkmom woul
dlov
ethi
s.
AladycameourwayIwoul
dsayshei
sar
ound
19orso.
Terr
y:Li
l
ian,
thi
sismydaught
erAzani
a.Aza
thi
sismyoldfr
iendLi
l
ian.
Me:
HiAzani
a,ni
cet
omeety
ou.
Azani
a:Ri
ght
,ni
cet
omeety
out
oo.
Ter
ry:
Azani
abehav
e.
Myphonerangagai
nandIpi
ckedi
tupwi
th
t
hem st
il
lstandi
ngi
nfr
ontofme.
Bank:
"I
sthi
sMr
sDi
mbaspeaki
ng?
"
Me:
Yesi
tis.
Bank:"
alotofamounthasbeent
ransfer
redi
nto
youraccount
,doy
ouknowaboutit?"
Me:Ohhyes,
myhusbandwast heonewhodi
d
t
hat,
don'
tstr
essabouti
t.
okaybye
Ter
ry:
Youmar
ri
ednow?
Me:
Yes
Azania:
Andy ourpr
egnantwi
fei
sal
soathome
wait
ingfory
ouDAD.
Ter
ry:
I'
ll
cal
lyout
hen.
Me:
Alr
ight
.
Idon'
tknowwhatt hatAzani
agirl
'
sproblem i
s
becauseheratt
it
udestinksbuti
twasnice
seei
ngTerrencewowwhowoul dhav
et houghtI
wouldeverseemyol dfri
endagai
n.
[
04/
27,
20:
02]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT33
Li
l
ian
Itwasr eallyamaz ingseeingTer renceandnoI
neverdat edTer rencewewer ejustf r
iendsI
actuall
yt houghthewasgayatsomepoi nt
becauset hroughoutt hef
riendshiphehasnev er
showedanygest uresofmaki ngmet hi
nkhe
wasi nt
omeorev eraskmeoutonadat eand
thatactual l
yhurtbecauseIwoul dli
ket obeli
eve
Iam attractivetomal esbutIguessIwasnot
histype.WhenIar r
ivedinNewYor kIknew
nothingandhewor kedasaj uniorlawyerwher e
Iusedt owor ksohehelpedmear ound
especiall
ybecauseIwaspr egnant,everyoneat
theofficethoughthewast hef atherofmychi l
d
becausewewer ethatclosetoeachot herbut
hehadt orel
ocatewhenCl air
ewasabout3
yearsandwekeptcont actbutast imewentby
thatal
sof adedbutasf atewoul dhav eitweare
reuni
tedagai n.
Letmest opt hi
nkingaboutal lthi
sandactuall
y
startcookingt hi
sdinner.Ismi leasIwatchthe
twinsplayi
ngar oundont hef l
oor,ti
mereall
y
passesbyf astjustmonthsagot heyweretiny
andi r
ri
tati
ngashel lwit
ht heircry
ingbutnow
theystart
ingt owal kandt heirvocabisal
so
defini
ngsoont heywi l
lbest art
ingschoolandI
willbelef
tal one.
Istartpeel
i
ngt hev egetabl
esandmyheart
start
sbeatingreall
yf astandIi
nst
ant
lysmil
e
becausewhent hathappensIknowMikeisnear
me,andasi fhewasl i
steni
ngtomyheadhe
holdsmywaistkissi
ngmyneck,may beI'
mlov
e
str
uckbutIl
i
kei tbecauset
hisr
ightherei
s
perfect.
Me:
MhhheyMrBi
l
li
onai
re?
Mi
ke:
(l
aughs)Iknewy
ouwer
egoi
ngt
osayt
hat
.
It
urnedar
oundandki
ssedhi
m pr
oper
ly.
Me:Sowhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
meImar
ri
eda
Bi
l
li
onai
re?
Mi
ke:
Stopr
efer
ri
ngmeast
hat
.
Me:
Youar
eonear
en'
tyou?
Mike:
Peopl
ewil
lstartt
othi
nky
ouagol
ddi
gger
i
fyoukeepaddr
essingmeli
ket
hat
.
Me:
(l
aughs)Imaynotbeabi
ll
ionai
rebutIhav
e
myownmoneyt hanky
ouver
ymuch.
Mike:
Wel
lyouonenow,
what
'smi
nei
syour
s
r
ight?
Me:
Right
(smi
rks)butwehav
eapr
enup,
sowhy
di
dn'
tyout
ell
me?
Mike:
Thatst
upi
dPr
enupwasy
ouri
dea,
i
tnev
er
cameup.
Me:
Mhhh
Mi
ke:
Youdon'
tbel
i
eveme?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
sowhydi
dyout
ransf
eri
tto
me?
Mike:Someoneist
ryi
ngtosteal
mymoneysoI
hadtofreezeal
lmyaccount
sandmov
esome
ofit
.
Me:
Whowoul
ddot
hat?
Mi
ke:Idon'
tknowbutIwi
l
lfi
ndoutandt
hey
wi
l
lpay.
Me:Don'tgoki
l
li
ngpeopl
e,y
ounol
ongeral
egal
cr
iminal
.
Mike:(
Laughs)Youalway
scal
lmet
hewei
rdest
t
hingsever
"l
egalcri
minal
"
Me:
Youwer
eone,
sot
hismeans.
..
.(
smi
l
es)
Mi
ke:
Don'
tev
ent
hinkabouti
t.
Me:
Thi
nkaboutwhat
?
Mi
ke:
say
ingsomet
hingst
upi
d.
Me:
Soy
oupr
act
ical
l
ybr
oker
ightnow?
(laughs)
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
!!
Me:Soforthenextf
ewday sIgett
obey
our
bl
esser
?Thatisamazing.
Mi
ke:
Ohhr
eal
l
y,bl
essmewi
thmyownmoney
?
Me: Welli
t'
spract
icallymineandy
ouknow
whatsinceIhavesomuchmoneyIcanl eave
yourbrokeassandf indmyselfahotyoung
dudethatcan(mout hs)fuckmeallni
ght.
Il
ookathi
m andhelooksreal
l
yst
unnedI'
min
st
it
chesi
nsidebutIwantt
oseehi
sreact
ion.
Mike:Mhhi
sit
?Youaskedmeaquest
iona
whil
eback.
Me:
Whatquest
ion?
Mike:Youaskedmei ft
herewouldeverbea
reasonformet okil
lyou,wel
lher
ei syour
answeri fyoueverdothenonsenseyou'v
ejust
saidIwillki
lly
oubeforeyouevenreachyour
hotloverwithmymoney .
Me:(
laughs)Youshoul
dhav
eseeny
ourf
ace
r
ightnow.
Mike:
Youpl
ayt
oomuch,
butIwoul
dki
l
lyouf
or
r
eal.
Ilaughathi m whil
econtinuingwi t
hmypot s
andIf eelhimlif
ti
ngupmydr esssqueezi ngmy
buttandIl ethi
m becausewear eont heother
sideoft hecounterandmyki dswon' tbe
traumatised.Hekeepsr ubbingi tandi tsanice
feeli
ngbutIam get ti
nghor nyasIwasst il
l
takinginthemomentIscr eam asher oughly
entershimselfwithoutanywar ni ngandt he
twinsturnt ol
ookatmebutIpl ayi toffandthey
getbackt
opl
ayi
ng.
Mi
ke:
Whatdi
dyousayaboutay
oungguy?
Ohhshitmay beIshoul
dn'
thavesai
dthat
becauseIam abouttopayfori
t.
Hestar
ts
mov i
ngfastandIputmyhandinmymout h
tr
yingtosurf
acemymoansbuti tsdamnhar
d.
Me:
(moans)Mi
kepl
ease,
theki
dsar
eher
e.
Mi
ke:
Youcankeepy
ourmout
hshut
.
.
Hekeepsgoi
ngandIf eelmybodyt ensingup
andIknowi'
m abouttocum ,andl
ikehav ens
woul
dhaveitIfeeli
tcomingbutmyMi kepull
s
outl
eavi
nghangingandfixeshimself.
Me:
Babyyoucan'
tdot
hatt
ome,
Ineedmy
moment.
Mi
ke:Di
dn'
tyousayy
ouwantt
ogof
inday
oung
man?
Me:
Idon'
twantnoy
oungman,
yourdi
cki
sal
lI
need.
Mi
ke:
Shoul
dIhel
pyouwi
thdi
nner?
Iignor
ehim andfixmyselfi
nfrust
rat
ion,
I
mov eovertothesinkandwashmyhandsand
takeoutthepots.
Mi
i
ke:
Howwast
heshoppi
ngwi
tht
het
wins?
Ilookathi
m andkeptmymouthshut,
hethi
nks
heissli
ckbuthehasnoideahowpett
yIcanbe
too.
Mi
ke:
Soy
ounotgoi
ngt
otal
ktome?
Icont
inuei
gnor
inghi
m andmyphoner
ingsand
hepassesi
ttome.
Me:
Lil
i
anspeaki
ng?
Ter
ry:
"yousoundsof
ormal
"
Me:
(smi
l
es)ahaasoy
oudi
dgetmynumber
?
Ter
ry:
"t
oldy
ouIwoul
d"
Me:
AndIshoul
dhav
ebel
i
evedy
ouTer
rence.
Ter
ry:
"whatar
eyoudoi
ng,
whydi
dyou
emphasi
semyname? "
Me:
Not
hing.
Ter
ry:
"wher
eisy
ourhusband?
"
Me:
Nextt
ome.
Ter
ry:
"youst
il
lpet
tyasev
er,
whatdi
dthepoor
guy
sdo? "
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyoul
ater
.
Ter
ry:
"soyouwantt
omakehi
mjeal
ousandI
mustplayal
ong?
"
Me:Yes,
Iam f
reewecandef
inet
lydocof
feeor
di
nner.
Terr
y:"
(LAUGHS)youar
ecr
azy,
Ifeel
sor
ryf
or
thepoorguy,
bye.
Me:
Alr
ightt
hen.
Iputthephonedownandi'
mtel
l
ingyouIwil
l
burstoutl
aughi
ngatanymomentri
ghtnow
,
youshoul
dseeMi
ke'
sface.
Mike:
Soyoujustgoi
ngt
ofl
i
rtwi
thanot
herman
r
ighti
nfr
ontofme?
Me:
Yousaidmyhotguywil
lgi
vememy
moment,
soIwasmakingar
rangement
s.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anDi
mbaIam notpl
ayi
ngwi
thy
ou.
Me:
Ter
rencei
saf
ri
endofmi
nef
rom NewYor
k.
Mi
ke:
Aguy
?
Me:
Yes,
amar
ri
edone.
Mi
ke:
Didhel
i
key
ou?
Me:
sadl
yno.
Mi
ke:
Sandl
y?
Me:Hereal
lywashotandheputmei
nthe
f
ri
endzone.
Mi
ke:
ser
vesy
our
ight
.
Me:I
twasablessi
ngthough,
Iam nowmar ri
ed
t
othemostamazingmanonthisplanetandI
l
ovehi
m somuch.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oobaby
.
Me:(
kissi
nghi
m)Okaynowhel
pmewi
tht
his
di
nner.
"
Bossl
adyy
ourv
isi
tor
sar
eher
e"
Me:
What,
theyar
eear
ly.
I'
m notev
enhal
fway.
Mi
ke:
Lett
hem i
n,r
elax.
theywi
l
lunder
stand.
Me:
Iguessweor
der
ing.
Si
zwe:
Lov
ebi
rdswher
ear
eyou?
Me:
Kit
chen!
!,
pleasebehav
e.
Mi
ke:
Ify
ourbr
otherdoes.
Si
zwe:
Thi
shouseget
sbi
ggerev
ery
time.
Ismil
easIwatchhi
m andTumicomingtot
he
ki
tchen,
Mikewasst
il
lwashi
nghishands.
Me:
Wher
eisThemba?
Si
zwe:
ON hi
sway,
Baf
othi
sis.
..
.
Miketurnsaroundandhisey espopout
i
mmedi atel
y,Itr
acehisreacti
nandhelooki
ng
atTumi whohast hesamer eact
ionashi
m.
Bot
h:TUMELO(
Mike)
,MZI
WONKE(
Tumi
)!
!!
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT35
Li
l
ian
Mi kecamehomet hi
smor ni
ngar ound3am and
Ihear dhim comi nginbutIwast oomuchhur t
togoati twi t
hhi m soIpretendedt obe
sleeping.It
snowMor ningandhei sst i
ll
sleeping
andIhav edonemymor ni
ngchor es,thetwins
areint heplayr oom andhereIam st andingon
topov erhimj ustlookingathim whilehei s
sleeping.Idon'tevenneedhi mtot ell
me, Iknow
hesl eptwithherbecausehet ookashower
i
mmedi atel
yhecamehomeandhi sclothesare
alr
eadyinthelaundrybasketwhichhehar dl
y
does.Idon'tseem tounderst
andmy sel
fr i
ght
nowbecauseIwantt obeangr yandal l
upi nmy
feel
ingsbutIam not,somehowt hi
sdoesn' t
comeasashock. Themi nutehesawherIknew
thi
swasboundt ohappenedbecausehi slove
forherwassoev i
dentanditrandeepwhi ch
mademer eali
sesomet hi
ngr eal
quickt hatIam
nothisint
ernallovesheis.
Iwalkdownstair
st ofi
ndMaMar t
hainthe
kit
chendri
nkingtea.Ical
ledherbecauseIneed
tobeoutofthishousebecausemenotbei ng
angryaboutall
thisscaresme.
Me:
Mor
ningma?
Mar
tha:
Mor
ningbaby
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryf
orcal
l
ingy
oui
nonaSunday
.
Mart
ha:Don'
twor
ryabouti
t,
Igetpaidfor
not
hingany
waysoit
stheleastIcando.
Me:Al
ri
ght,
Ihav
ealr
eadyprepar
edthei
rmeal
s
andVuyowil
lbr
ingMnqobi
backlat
er.
Mar
tha:
Alr
ight
,wher
eisMzi
wonke?
Me:
Upst
air
sst
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
Mar
tha:
Att
hist
ime?
Me:
Hewasbusyt
hewhol
eni
ght
.
Mar
tha:
Ohhokay
Me:
Letmego,
I
'l
lseey
oul
atert
hen.
Itookmycarkey sandleft,foral
mostanhourI
j
ustdr ovet
hroughtowndoi ngnothi
ngunti
lI
decidedtodri
vetoNandi '
sandsheopenedt he
doorformeandi mmedi atel
yshelookedatme
weirdl
y .
Me:
Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
?
Nandi
:Youraur
aconf
usesme,
i
tsdi
ff
erent
.
Me:Youpsy
chi
cnow?whatdoy
ouknowabout
Aur
a's?
Imademywayt
ohercouchandl
aidoni
ton
myback.
Nandi
:Wi
ne?
Me:
Lot
sofi
t,
pref
erabl
yred.
Nandi
:OkaynowIknowsomet
hinghappened.
Shedi
sappearsint
otheki
tchenandcomes
backwi
thglassesandabottl
eofwine.
Nandi
:Sowhat
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Not
hing,
j
ustcamet
oseemyf
ri
end.
Nandi
:OnaSunday
?Li
l
ianI
'
m notst
upi
d.
Me:
Ist
her
eany
thi
ngwr
ongwi
thSunday?
Ipourt
hewi
neandgul
paf
ull
glass.
Nandi
:How'
sMi
keandt
heki
ds?
Me:Thekidsar
eperf
ect,
Mike?Idon'
tknowbut
Iguesshi
snewgir
lf
ri
endissati
sfy
inghi
m.
Nandi
:Comeagai
n!!
Me:
(pour
sanot
hergl
ass)Youhear
dme.
Nandi
:Hecheat
edagai
n?
Me:
Yep
Nandi
:Andy
ounotangr
y?
Me:Bel
i
evemeIwanttobutI
'
m not,
I
'm not
ev
enbit
terabouti
t.
Nandi
:Okaynowt
hati
sScar
ry,
didhet
ell
you?
Me:
Hedi
dnotneedt
o.
Nandi
:Li
li
anIknow,
don'
tmakey
ourown
concl
usi
ons.
Me:Tr
ustmeI
'
m not
,HeandTumi
aredef
ini
tel
y
doi
ngi
t.
Nandi
:Tumi
who?
Me:
(Dr
inks)Myt
her
api
st.
Nandi:Sl
owdownont
hewi
ne.
Howdi
dthat
happened?
Me:
Wel
ltheywer
ecol
l
egesweet
hear
tsand
l
ostcont
actbutnowtheyf
oundeachot
herand
IguessMikef
orgothei
smarri
edplust
hey
haveadaught
er.
Nandi
:Youki
ddi
ngr
ight
?
Me:Nope,
Ibethei
sreadyt
oser
vemewi
th
di
vor
cepaperanyt
imenow.
Nandi
:Whyar
eyousoconv
incedhe'
scheat
ing.
?
Me:Youshoul
dhaveseenhowhel
ookedather
,hi
seyessai
dital
l
.
Nandi:
Lil
i
anslowdown,youhav
efi
nishedt
he
wholebot
tleonyourown.
Me:
Ihat
ethi
sfeel
i
ng.
Nandi
:Whatf
eel
i
ng?
Me:Iknoweveryt
hingandIshoul
dbehur
tand
angr
ybutI'
m not.
Nandi:That'
sthemostdangeroussi
detoyou
,becauseyourangeri
ssti
llbui
ldi
ngupandyou
wil
lexplode.
Me:MaybeIshoul
dki
l
lhi
m butt
henwhowi
l
l
r
aisemykids?
Nandi
:Li
l
ian,
what
'
sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ou?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
.
.
Nandi
POV
Sheisscar
ingme,
sheiswaytocal
m aboutt
his
si
tuat
ionandshei
shit
ti
ngthebot
tl
equit
ehard
she'
snowonhersecondone.
Me:
Lil
i
ant
hat
'si
t,y
ounothav
inganot
hergl
ass.
Li
ly
:Ar
gggyoucanbeapar
typopper
somet
imes.
Nandi
:It
scal
l
edbei
ngacar
ryi
ngf
ri
end.
Isai
dasIt ookthebot
tl
eawayf rom her,
she'
s
nowdrunkandhonestlyIdon'
trememberwhen
wasthelastti
meshewasdr unkandt hey
al
wayssayadrunkper soni
sbrutal
lyhonest
maybeshewillbebecauseI
'm notbuyi
ngthi
s
"I
'
m okay
"facadeshehas.
Li
l
y:If
eel
amazi
ng,
al
cohol
justr
eleasesst
ress
Me:Ithoughty
ousai
dyouwer
eokaywi
tht
his
si
tuat
ion.
?
Li
l
y:Whi
chwomancanbe,
I
'm af
rai
dact
ual
l
y.
Me:
Afr
aidofwhat?
Li
ly
:Youshouldhaveseenhowhel
ookedat
her
,I
'm af
rai
dthati
fIaskhi
m hewi
l
lchooseher
.
Me:Lil
ian!
!Surel
yyouwon'tputupwi
tht
his
nonsensebecauseyoudesper
ate?
Li
l
y :
WhatchoicedoIhav
e,ImeanI'
m al
l
st
retchedoutnomanwil
lact
ual
lyl
ookatme.
Me:Idon'tknowyoulikethi
s,wher
eismy
conf
identandindependentf
riend?
Li
ly:
(laughs)Whoisthat
?Shedi
edorshouldI
sayshegr ewup.
Thisismar
ri
ageri
ght,
theysay
f
orbet
terorwor
ser
ight
.
Me:
I'
m sur
ethat
'
snotwhatt
heymeant.
Li
ly:ImeanIhavebeenoutformoret
hanfour
hour sandhehasnotevencall
edme,hedoesn'
t
care.
Me:
Andy
oust
icki
ngar
oundf
ort
hatnonsense?
Li
ly
:MaybeIshoul
dcheatt
oo,
thenwewoul
dbe
bot
heven.
Me:Nowt hat
'scr
azy,
twowr
ongsdon'
tmake
r
ight.
Justtal
ktohim.
Me:Anddowhataf t
erwar
ds?I
fIaskhi
m hewil
l
notdenyitandt
hatwil
lj
ustmakemetheother
womeni nhisl
if
e.
Me:Soist
hismuchbet
ter
,l
ookaty
ou.
Youar
e
dr
unk.
Lil
y:Ist
il
lneedtothi
nkokay
,i
fIcanknowhowI
feelt
henmay beIcanmakeadecisi
on.
Me:
Takeanap,
may
bey
ouwi
l
lwakeupsober
wi
thacl
earmi
nd.
Shej ustlaughedatmebutev entuall
yfel
l
asleepandIcov er
edherwithabl anket.
She
reall
yisst r
essingmeout,
I'
mj ustscaredthat
shewi lldowhatshesaid,st
ickar oundand
pretendal loft
hisi
snothappening.
.
TBC
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
INSERT35cont
inued.
.
.
Mi
ke
Ifeel
reallyhorri
bleforwhatI'
vedoneandt o
knowt hatIhurtLynnt hi
smuchhur tsmedeeply
butI'
mr eallyconfl
ict
edr i
ghtnow,Ihavenot
beenablet ogetTumi outofmymi nd,
Iknow
thi
siswr ongbutIcan' thel
pit.
Ilov
eLil
ianvery
muchbutt hefeel
ingsIhav et
owardsTumi ri
ght
nowaretoomuchtohandleandthankGodI
wokewithLi
l
iannotnexttomebecauseIwoul
d
nothav
ebeenabletolookheri
ntheeye.
Iwal
ldownstai
rsf
ull
ydressedonandt omy
sur
pri
seIfi
ndMaMar thaintheki
tchen.
Me:
Mor
ningma,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Mar
tha:
Lil
i
ancal
l
edme.
Me:
Wher
eisshe?
Mar
tha:
Idon'
tknow,
shel
eft
.
Me:
Ohhokay
,Ial
soneedt
ogosomewher
e.
Mar
tha:Areyout
wookay
,sheseemedawf
ull
y
j
oyf
ultoday.
Me:
Wegood.
OkaysoIl i
ed,butIdof i
ndthatwei
rdbecause
shewasangr ylastnightbutnowsheishappy.I
tookmycarkey sanddr ovetoTumi'
splaceI
real
lyneededtoseeherbutont hewayt her
eI
recei
vedacallfrom oneofmyguy ssayi
ngt hey
managedtotr
acetheper sonwhohasbeen
st
eali
ngmymoneyandt hattheyar
eonthei
r
waytofi
ndthem.Iparkedmycaroutsi
deher
dri
vewayandknockedonherdoorandshe
openedbutwhenItri
edtokisshershest
opped
me.
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Tumi
:Comei
n.
Iwal
kbehi
ndhert
othecouchandshesi
tswi
th
herl
egscr
ossedf
aci
ngme.
Tumi:LookuhhhIdon'tregr
etwhathappened
l
astnight,
howeverIhatetheci
rcumstancesi
t
happenedbasedon.
Me:
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Tumi:I
ftherewasanythi
ngaboutl astni
ghtit
mademer eal
i
sethatIam inlovewithSizwe
andIdon'twantanyt
hingruini
ngwhatwehav e
.Thi
sbetweenusi snotloveitsl
ust,may bewe
ki
ndofneededi tt
ohappenedi nordertoget
ourf
eel
i
ngsi
ncheck.
Me:Buthowdoyouexpl
aint
hef
eel
i
ngswehad
f
oreachother
?
Tumi :"
had"pastt ense, youloveLil
i
anIknow
youdobecauseev ent houghyoumadel oveto
mel astnight,shewasdr iv
ingthemoti
onof
yourthrusts.Iwasj ustamemor yofwhatcould
havebeenbutshe' sy ourpresentandf
utureand
mineisSi zwe.
Ijustgotmyegobr uisedIhav enev erbeen
turneddownbyawomanbef ore,wel lexcept
Lil
ian. I
'
m notsay i
ngt hiswasgoi ngt ogo
furtherbut..
..
any wayIam notaboutt ocr umble
becauseoft hisandshei srightIkindofdi d
thinkIwasmaki nglovet oLy nnmay bet hat
shoul dbewar ni
ngenought hatt hiswasgoi ng
toendi ndisasterandi fshewant stobewi th
Sizwet henshecanbebuti twon' tbeeasy
seeingherallthet i
mebecausef eelingsdon' t
j
ustdi sappearInowknowt hatbet terthan
any
one.
Me:
Okay,
sowhenam Imeet
ingThabi
sa?
Tumi
:Justl
i
ket
haty
ounotgoi
ngt
oar
guewi
th
me?
Me:
Didy
ouwantmet
o?
Tumi:No,she'
scomi
ngbackt
oni
ghtsomaybe
youcoul
dmeetmef orl
uncht
omorr
ow I
'l
lbr
ing
heral
ong.
Me:
Cool
youwi
l
ltextt
hedet
ail
s.
Tumi:
Mike,Ineedt
oknowar ey
ougoi
ngt
otel
l
Li
li
anaboutwhathappened?
Me:No,Ithi
nkit
sbett
eri
fwel
eti
tnotl
eav
ethi
s
house.
LookIhavet
ogo.
Tumi
:Okay,
bye.
Youknowmay bet hi
sisforthebest,Iwon'tr
uin
whatIhaveforsomethingIhavenoassur ance
offandIl
oveLili
anandourf amil
y.Idroveoff
andmetupwi thTyatthelocalbar.
Ty
:Yousur
eknowhowt
ogoAWOLonpeopl
e.
Me:
Goodseei
ngy
out
oo.
Ty
:Howi
smar
ri
agel
i
fet
reat
ingy
ou?
Me:
Ihav
emessedaf
ewt
imesbutwesur
viv
ing.
Ty
:Youdon'
tsoundsur
eofy
oursel
f.
?
Me:Iki
ndmetupwi t
hanexandIsleptwit
hher
andshejustt
oldmethatshei
sgoodwithme.
Ty
:Again?LookLi
li
anmighthavef
orgivenyou
wi
thPromisebutI
'
m notsureshewil
lthist
ime.
Me:
Thati
swhyI
'
m nott
ell
i
ngher
.
Ty:
yousounddi
sappoi
ntedt
hatshedoesn'
t
wanty
ou?
Me:
There'
ssomethi
ngabouthert
hatmakes
mewantmoreofher.
Ty:Goodluckmanbutbecar
eful
nottol
ose
yourwif
eov ersomef
li
ngt
hat'
snotev
enworth
i
t.
Me:
Itdoesn'
tmat
terany
way,
weendedi
t.
Ty:Theonl
ywaytoenditi
st obehonestwi
th
yourwif
ebecauseshewi
ll
findoutevent
ual
ly
.
Me:
ayymany
oust
ressi
ngmeMor
e.
Ty:
(l
aughs)Thisi
swhyIdon'
twanttoget
marri
ed,Idon'
twantnol
i
mitat
ionsofwhenand
who'
spussyIget.
Me:
youneedt
ogr
owup.
Ty:Butser
iousl
yman, getyour
sel
fincheck
Lil
i
anisawonder f
ulwomanandshegav eyoua
famil
yandhasalwaysbeensupportiv
e,don'
t
rui
nthatbyonesimplemi st
ake.
Me:Al
ri
ghtdoct
orPhi
l,
letmegor
ightback
homei
tslat
e.
Ty:Marr
iedmanandboundar
ies,
alr
ightmanI
'
ll
seeyou.
Dri
vi
nghomeal otwasgoi
ngthroughmymi
nd
,Tyisr
ightt
hisi
snotwort
hloosingmyf
ami
ly
forandIneedt omakethingsr i
ghtbyLi l
i
an
becauseshesai dsomeharshwor dslastni
ght
andherbeinghappyt hi
smor ningtell
smet hat
sheisangryandIneedt ofi
xt hat.Iparkmycar
i
nt hegarageandIseeLili
anscart oomeani ng
she'sback,Ineedtogetmy selft
ogether.
Iwal
kinsi
debutagai
nIf
indMaMar
thai
nthe
l
oungewit
hMnqobi .
Me:
HeyBuddy
,youback.
Nqobi
:Yes,
uncl
eMi
kewhydi
dmommysayshe
hat
esyou?
IlookatmaMart
haast
oknowwhathe'
s
talki
ngabout
.
Mart
ha:Mnqobi
goupst
air
sI'
l
lber
ightt
her
e
wi
thyou.
Nqobi
:Okay
(runsupst
air
s)
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Mar
tha:
Wel
lyourwi
fecamehomedr
unk
t
hrowi
ngev
eryi
nsul
taty
ourname,
cry
ing.
Me:
What
??Wher
eisshe?
Me:
Upst
air
spassedout.
Imademywayy oourr oom andIfoundher
deadsleepont hebedandt hesmellofal
cohol
surewasundeni able,IhaveneverseenLi
li
an
drunkbefor
el etalonepassedoutl i
kethi
s.I
takeoutablanketfr om t
heclosetandcoverher
.
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT36
Li
l
ian
Itr
ipovert
hedresstabl
easIrunt
othe
bathr
oom thr
owingup"ouch!
!"
.
Ikneel
inf
rontoft
het
oil
etsi
tpuki
ngev
ery
thi
ng
out,ayyalcoholisnotf orme.Iflushthetoil
et
andr i
nsemyf aceandwentbackt ot
he
bedroom, wowIev ensl eptinmycl ot
hesthat'
s
i
tI '
m nevergetti
ngdr unkagain,Idon'tknow
wher eIgottheconfidencet hatIcanhandl e
alcohol.Mymi ndquicklyrunstot heti
meandI
fl
ipwhenIseet hati
swaypast10"Shi tt
he
kids",
Ipushinmysl eepersandr andownstair
s
tofindMar t
hav acuumi ngthelounge.
Mar
tha:
Whooa,
sl
owdown.
!!
Me:
Theki
ds?
Mart
ha:Mi
ketookthem out
,heal
sot
ook
Mnqobi
toschool
.
Me:
Wheewt
hankheav
ens,
mhhhmyhead!
!
Mart
ha:Ther
e'sagl
assi
nthef
ri
dge,
dri
nk
what
'si
nthere.
Me:
Whati
sit
?
Iwal
ktowar
dst
hef
ri
dgeandt
akeoutt
hegl
ass
i
thassomegr
eensmoot
hieandt
hesmel
li
s
notni
ce.
Me:
AhahI
'
m notdr
inki
ngt
his.
Mar
tha:
Theny
ouwi
l
lbel
i
ket
hist
hewhol
eday
.
Me:
Whatki
ndofpoi
soni
sthi
s?
Mar
tha:
(laughs)Ser
vesy
our
ight
.
Igul
pital
ldownandi
tisdi
sgust
ingIf
eel
li
ke
thr
owingi
tupback.
Me:
aggggt
hisi
sdi
sgust
ing!
!!
Mar
tha:
Yousl
epti
nyourcl
othes?
Me:
Mhhh
Mar
tha:
Goandbat
hyoust
inkofal
cohol
.
Imakemywayupst air
sandt ookashowerand
gotdressedi
nmysweat pantsandT-shi
rtand
headedbackdownstai
rs,I
'm hungr
y.
Mar
tha:
Yourbr
eakf
asti
sint
hewar
mer
.
Me:
OhhIneedi
t.
It
akeoutt
hef
oodandst
arteat
ing.
Mart
ha:Yousur
edo,wi
thal
lthehat
eyout
hrew
ar
oundherewheny
oucameback.
Me:
Excuseme?
?
Mar tha:Lil
ianyouar eagrownwomanandI
respecty ourli
fedecisi
ons,nowIdon'
tknow
what '
sgoi ngonwi thyoubutIhaveaproblem
wheny ouar egoingtocomehomedr unkin
frontofy ourkidsandstarti
nsult
ingt
heir
fathers,thetwinsdidn'
tunderst
andwhaty ou
saidbutMnqobi did.
Me:
Idi
dwhat
?
Martha:Tobegi
nwi
thwhendi
dyoust
art
dr
inking?
Me:
Pleaset
ell
meIdi
dn'
tsayhar
shwor
ds.
.
Mar
tha:
Woul
dIber
aisi
ngt
hisupi
fyoudi
dn'
t?
Me:
OhhhmyGod,
I
'm nev
erdr
inki
ngagai
n.
Mar
tha:
Unl
essy
ouwantt
oki
l
lthatchi
l
dyou
car
ryi
ngt
hencont
inuedr
inki
ng.
Ichokeonmyfoodandl
ookatherandshej
ust
rai
sesherbr
ows.
Me:
I'
m notpr
egnant
.
Mart
ha:
Iknowapr
egnantper
sonwhenIsee
one.
Me:Thenyouseei
ngt
hewr
ongt
hingbecauseI
am not.
Mar
tha:
Mov
eIwantt
ocl
eanher
e.
Me:
Icanseey
ouangr
ywi
thme,
I
'm sor
ry.
Mart
ha: I
'm notangry,
I
'm di
sappoi
nted.Li
li
an
youhavegrownsomuchandwhat everi
seati
ng
youdon'tl
etitsetyouback.Youhavebeenan
amazingmot herIdon'
twantthatt
ochange.
Me:I
twon'
tIpr
omi
se,myki
dsaremypr
ior
it
y.
Nowcanyoust
opbei
ngser
ious?
Martha:
Alr
ight
,t
hel
aundr
yiswai
ti
ngf
ory
ougo
at
tendtoit
.
Me:Wowhowamazi
ng,
can'
tIsoaki
nmy
hungov
er?
Mar
tha:
Nope,
out
!!
!
Iputtheplatebacki nt
hedishwasherandhead
tothelaundryroom andhonest l
yI'
minno
moodf ort
hisbutmay beitwil
lhelpmerel
ease
thestressIhavebecauseofmycheat i
ng
husbandwhoI '
m alsonotinthemoodofseeing
butyoucan'tignoretheinevi
tabl
ecanyou?.
Ahugepar tofmewant st oj
ustpackupmy
stuffandleavebecauseIhav eneverbeenone
tobegorset tl
eforlessandI '
m notdesperate
butint hi
scaseIalsohav emyki dsthatIneed
tothinkaboutbutagainifIstayhewi l
l wal
kall
overmebecauset hi
sist hesecondtimehe
doest hissohewon' tseeany t
hingwr ongin
doingitagainifIl
etitsl
ide.
If
eel
li
kestrangl
inghi
m,mxm Idon'tev
enknow
whyI
'm st
ressi
ngabouthi
m becausewho
knowshemi
ghtj
ustdeci
det
oreuni
tewi
thhi
s
"l
over
".
Iputtheclot
hesi nthewashi ngmachineand
setitupandleav eitthereonit
sown.JustasI
walkintot
heki t
chenMi kecomesinwi t
hthe
twinsandtheyimmedi atel
ybothwi
ggleoutof
hishandsandt umbl etowardsmewi t
hsuchbig
smi l
esontheirfaces.
Me:(bendingdowntothei
rlev
el)Mommy
's
babi
es!!
(hugsthem)Imissedyou!!
Nel
i
:Manamama
Me:
Youbot
hlooksocut
e,wher
edi
dyougo?
Si
ya:
(poi
ntsatMi
ke)Baba
Ihatehowtheygrowingupsofast,t
omor r
ow
i
tsay earsi
ncethey
'vebeenbornandofcause
wewi l
lhavethei
rminipart
yonSaturday,
they
arewalki
ng,andbeginni
ngtoassemblethei
r
tal
ki
ng.
Mi
ke:
Mor
ning!
!
Me:
Hi.
Mar
tha:
Theymustbehungr
yletmemaket
hei
r
f
ood.
Me:No,
i
tsf
inemaI'l
ldoi
t.
Canyoutakethem
t
othepl
ayr
oom I
'
llcomeuptoplaywit
hthem .
Mar
tha:
Alr
ight
,l
et'
sgomygr
andbabi
es.
Shet ookt hem andwalkwi t
ht hem up,andof
causeNel ihadtobethenaught yoneshel i
kes
walkingt hestepshersel
fandt rustmeshe
takesherownt i
me.Imov ebehi ndthecounter
topr eparetheirmealandthisf ooli
swat chi
ng
everymov eI'm maki
ngIfeel l
i
kegr abbingthis
knifer i
ghtnowandcutofhi speni sbecause
clearlyhecan'tcontr
olit
,waitI'
m actuall
y
starti
ngt obeangr yohhhthat'
sni ce.
Me:Canyousaywhaty
ouwanttosayi
nst
ead
ofbr
eaki
ngholesi
nmyf ace.
?
Mi
ke:
Youwer
edr
unkl
astni
ght
.
Me:
So?
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
any
ou'
venev
erbeendr
unkbef
ore.
Me:Welly
ouwouldal
sobeifyourhusband
di
sappear
edandcamebackintheearl
yhours
oft
hemor ni
ng.
Mike:Ijustneededsometimetodigestt
hings
,youjustdroppedabombt hatIhadanot
her
chil
dIdi dn'
tknowanyt
hingabout.
Me:
(laughs)IguessI
'
mthef
ool
right
?
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Okayhei
sser
iousl
yget
ti
ngonmylastner
ve
,f
ir
stl
yhi
sgoi
ngtocheatandl
i
etomeaboutit.
Me:(
angry)Soyougoingt
osi tthereand
pr
etend(shout
s)thaty
oudidn'tFuckher!
!!
DoI
l
ookstupidtoyou.
Mi
ke:
Okayst
oppoi
nti
ngt
hekni
fet
ome.
Me:Wher
edoyouwanti
ttopoi
nt,
yourpeni
s?
Si
ncei
tseemst
obecontr
oll
i
ngyourdamnl i
fe.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anCal
m down!
!
Me:
Youdon'
tgett
otel
lmewhatt
odo.
Mart
ha:
I'
ll
justt
aket
hef
oodandpl
aywi
tht
he
ki
ds.
Shetakesthef oodandl eav
esandatthi
spoi
nt
I
'm boi
lingi
nsideIf eel
li
keslappi
ngthepi
ssout
ofhim butIl
ear ntmylessonwithKagi
so.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anI
'
m sor
ry,
i
tjusthappened.
Me:Youcan'
tevenbeliev
ey ourownlie,
and
pl
easeIdon'twantyourapologybecausey
ou
donotr
egretsl
eepingwithher.
Mi
ke:
Baby.
..
..
.
Me:Don'
t"baby"me,youlostthatr
ightwhen
youshov
edy ourpeni
sinsideher.
Mi
ke:
Letmeexpl
ainev
ery
thi
ngt
oyou.
Me:Ihaveonl
yonequest
ionf
oryou,
didy
ou
useprot
ect
ionthi
sti
me?YouknowwhatIdon'
t
evenwanttoknow.
Thi
siswhatinfur
iat
esmemor eaboutMike,hi
s
damnpridebecauseheistheonei nthewrong
buther
eheisactingal
lsaintandincontr
ol
wit
hhishandsinhispocketsclear
lyhedoesn'
t
car
eabouthowIf eel.
Mike:IgetthatIhur
tyoubutstopshout
ing
,nowhowar ewesupposetotalki
fyounot
wil
li
ngtolisten.?
Me: YouaresuchanAsshol ey ouknowt hat
,hereyouar esayi
ng"I'
m sorr
y"y ety
oudon't
showanyr emor seandt henyouhav ethenerv
e
totell
tostopshouting.Iwil
lscream ontopof
theceil
ingifIwantto.
Mike:I
'
m notbei
ngobl
iv
ioust
oyourfeel
ings
buthowwil
lyouhearmeouti
fyouli
kethis.
?
Me:
Got
ohel
lMi
ke,
inf
actgobackt
oherand
pl
ayhappyf
ami
l
ywi
thher.
Iwal
kpasthi
m buthegr
absmyar
m.
Me:
Gety
ourf
il
thyhandsof
fofme!
!
Mi
ke:
Justhearmeout
!!
Me:Idon'
twantt
oknowdet
ail
sabouty
ouand
youbi
tch.
Mike:Fine,I
'l
ltal
ktoyouwheny oumorecal
mer
.I'
m sorryIknowy oudon'
tbel
i
ev eany
thi
ngI
sayrightnowbutbel i
evemewhenIsayIlove
you.
Me:
(wipestear
s)Maybet
hat'
stheprobl
em,that
l
ovethatyouhavef
ormeisnotenoughfory
ou
t
orespectmeorourmarr
iage.
Mi
ke:
BabyIdor
especty
ou.
Me:Noy oudon't
,.I
nthismarri
ageIhadt he
mostgrowinguptodoandIdi dthatbecauseI
l
oveyouandwant edtobeabet t
erwifetoy ou
butal
lofthatgoesi
nv ai
n.I
tpai
nsmet hatour
marri
agewon'tev
enlastayearandi
tis
becauseofy
ourinfi
del
it
y.
Mi
ke:
What
?Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat?
Me:
Exact
lyt
hat,
l
etgoofmyhand.
Hel
oosenshisgr
ipandIcan'
treal
lyr
eadhi
s
f
aceri
ghtandqui
tefr
ankl
yIdon'tcar
e.
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT37
Mi
ke
(
fol
l
owi
ngday
)
Todayisqui
etabusydayformeandhonest l
y
I
'drat
herbehereandfixt
hingswit
hLili
anbutI
havetodealwit
hpersonwhoissteal
ingmy
moneybutfir
stIhav
et omeetmydaught eri
n
30minutesandI'
m anerv
ewr eck,
whatdoIsay
toa21y earoldt hatcanalreadycompr ehend
everything,Ireall
ymessedupbecausei fLil
ian
andIwer eonspeaki ngtermsshewoul dbe
helpingmeoutbutshehasbeeni gnoringandI
can'tblameher .
Itbrokemyhear thearingher
cryinthemi ddleoft henightbutI'
llgiv
ehert he
spacesheaskedf or.Iwrot
eanot ei nthenight
standt elli
ngherwher eIwent,notthatshe
caresbutIdi ditoutdecency. Iwalkdownst ai r
s
andt het winswer epl ayi
ngont hefl
oorwhi l
e
Mar thawasdoi ngherst aff
.
Me:
Mor
ningma!
!
Mar
tha:
Mor
ningson,
wher
eisLi
l
ian?
Me:
Upst
air
s,why
?
Mart
ha:Sheissupposet
ocoll
ectthetwi
ns
bi
rt
hdaycakeinanhourbuti
tsfi
neI'
ll
wakeher
.
Ohhshit,t
odayitsalsot
hetwinsbir
thday.
Now
howthehel lam Igoi
ngtoatt
endtoeveryt
hing
atonce.Itookmycarkey sandl
eftandonmy
wayIcal ledMaxt ell
ingt hem t oguar dguyat
thewar ehousebecausei tseemsIwon' tbeabl e
toat tendt othati ssuet odaybutwhatsur prised
mewaswhenhesai di twasawomannowI
don'tknowwher et hatbi tchgott heconf i
dence
tost eal f
rom mebutt odayi tsaboutmyf ami ly
.IfImi sst hisdayLi lianwoul dnev erf orgiveme
Ineedt opr ovetohert hatI '
m seriousaboutus
andourf ami ly
.Iwal ki nsi dethecof feeshop
wher eI '
m meet ingTumi andshequi ckl
ynot ices
medi rectionmet ot hem butf orami nuteIj ust
froze,Icoul dn'
tseet hegi rl
sfacebecauseIwas
facingherback. Shest oodupandt ur nedt o
facemeandIsawt ear sr oll
ingdownherf ace
andIqui cklydidwhatIt houghtwasbestand
huggedherbutshecr i
edsomemor ehol ding
ontomet ightandpeopl ewer enowst arri
ng.
Tumi
:Thabi
sast
opcr
yingsol
oud.
Me:I
tsf
ine,
l
etherwhoev
erhasapr
obl
em can
got
ohell
.
Thabisa:
(pul
l
saway )I
'
mjustsohappy,
Inev
er
thoughtIwouldev
ergett
omeety ou.
Me:
I'
m her
enowandI
'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e.
Tumi
:Cany
oubot
hsi
tdownnow?
Shelaughedatheri
rr
it
atedmotherandwebot h
satdownofcauseshesatnexttome,Ithought
shewasgr ownbutshesurei
sacti
nglikea
cl
ingychil
d.
Tumi:
Thabi
sawhathappenedt
o"Iwon'
tcr
y
whenIseehi
m"?
Me:
Leav
emybabyal
one.
Thabi
sa:
Please,
Ithi
nkI
'
m goi
ngt
oli
kehav
ing
aDad.
Welaughed,sheki
ndofremindsmeofCl
air
e
andIrel
ati
onshi
pIreal
l
ymi ssher
.
Me:LookIknowyougr
ownand.
..
.Idon'
tknow
whattosaytoy
ou.
Thabi
sa:
Youdon'
thav
etosayany
thi
ng,
I
'm ol
d
enought ounderstandwhathappenedback
thenal lIwantist
ohav earel
ati
onshi
pwi t
hmy
fatherandsibl
ingsifIhav
ethem.
Me:That'
sal
lIwantt
oandi
fyouneedany
thi
ng
j
usttel
lme.
Tumi
:Fi
nal
l
yIgetf
reedom f
rom herabuse.
Thabi
sa:
Mom!
!!
Me:Don'
tworr
yabouther,
Icanprov
idey
ou
wi
thanythi
ngt
hatyouwantjustl
i
keIdowit
hal
l
myotherki
ds.
Thabi
sa:
(smi
l
es)SoIdohav
eot
hersi
bli
ngs?
Me:Yes,Youhav
eanol dersi
sterCl
airewhois
22sheli
v esi
nLondonthough,ababybrother
Mnqobiwhois6andt hetwinsNeli
siweand
si
yabongawhoareactuall
yturni
ngonet oday.
Thabi
sa:Ohhthat
'sni
ceIcan'
twaitt
omeet
them,
butmom Ithoughty
ousaiddaddi
dn'
t
haveki
dsbeforeme.
Me:Wel
lpr
act
ical
l
yyouar
emyf i
rstbutbut
Cl
air
eandMnqobiar
emystepki
ds.
Thabi
sa:Ohhh,
soIguessy
ouhav eawi
fe.
Is
sheokaywit
hmebeinginyourl
i
fe?
Me:YesIhav
eawi f
e,she'
sokaywi
thitbutIwi
ll
or
ganiseadi
nnerwhereyoucanmeetever
yone.
Thabi
sa:
Okay
,I'
dappr
eci
atet
hat
.
Tumi
:SinceI
'
m soi
nvi
sibl
eI'
l
lgoIhav
ea
meet
ing.
Thabi
sa:
I'
ll
cat
chacab.
Tumi
:Al
lri
ghtby
e.
Me:
Youdon'
thav
eacar
?
Thabisa:No,butIusuall
yusemom' s.Sheis
wellstabl
einherfinancebutyouknowwi t
hmy
educationandeverythi
ngelsewai
tingonher..
..
Me: Letmet
alkt
oyourmot herandmywi f
e
thenwecangostar
tlooki
ngaty ourf
avouri
te
car.
Thabi
sa:
What
!!
!youser
ious?
Me:
Uhhmh
Thabisa:
awwmyf av
ori
tecari
saPorschebutI
cantakeanyasl
ongasI'
m dri
vi
ng.
Me:Thenwewil
lbuyt
hePor
sche,
li
stenmoney
i
snotaprobl
em t
ome.
OkayIt hi
nkt hiswentbet t
erthanIt houghtbut
shedef ini
telyhasmymot her'sper sonali
ty
whi chremindsmeIal sohav etoi nform
them. Wesatt hereformay be3mor ehours
talkingandshet oldmeev ery t
hingabouther
andsheaskedal otofquestionsr egardingher
siblingsandImustsayt hi
si samazi ngbecause
IthoughtIwasgoi ngtomeetay ounggi rl
wi t
h
attit
udeandal l t
hatbutnoshe' st heperfect
daught erallshewant sist oomeetherf ami ly
andgetal ongwi theveryoneandshequal i
fiesin
thecat egoryofal lmychi l
dren,shei sspoiled.I
droppedherof fatherhouseandnowi t
st i
me
formet ogospendsomet i
mewi thmykidsbut
fi
rstIstoppedatt hemal landboughtsome
stafff
ort hem andflowersf orLil
ianandIknow
i
tdoesn' tchangeormakewhatIdi dbet
terbut
I'
m notgi vi
nguponherandIwi l
ldoanythi
ngin
mypowert owi nhertrustandl oveback.
Iunloadedthegif
tbagsfrom t
hecarand
walkedinsi
dethehousebutitwasquietwhich
waswei rdbecauseMnqobiissupposetobe
backf r
om schoolandIputt
hebagsont he
counterandheadt oMart
hainthelounge.
Me:
Wher
eisev
ery
one.
?
Mar
tha:
(handsmeanenv
elope)Her
e!!
Me:
What
'st
his?
Mar
tha:
Howwi
l
lyouknowi
fyoudon'
treadi
t?
Me:
Okayf
ine.
Isi
tdownandopent
heenvel
opeandt
her
e'sa
l
ett
erandLi
li
an'
scar
dini
t.
Me:
Wher
eisLi
l
ian?
Mar
tha:
Idon'
tknow.
Iopent hel etter"
Iam notsur ewher et hestate
ofourmar riageisatbutwhatIknowr i
ghtnow
i
st heangerandpai nI'
mf eelingbecauseof
youractionsandIl eftbecauseIhav eahi st
ory
ofhitt
ingmanandIdi dn'
twantt odot hatt oyou
,beli
evei tornotasmuchasIhat ey our i
ght
nowIst il
l dol oveyou.Don'tlookformeIj ust
needmyspaceandwhenIhav ethoughtof
whatisbestf ormeI'l
l t
ellyouandy oual so
needsomet i
met ogety ourfeeli
ngsi ncheck
anddeci dewhaty ouwantwi thyourlifeand
whoy ouwanti nyourlif
e.Il
ef tmycar dbecause
yourmoneyi sinthereandIdon' tknowhow
l
ongI '
llbeawayandagai npleasedon' tcome
aft
erme. Lilian"
"
Dammit"Isayoutl
oudasIki
ckt
hecof
fee
t
abl
e.
Mar
tha:
Ayy
boandnow.
Me:
Shel
eftwi
tht
heki
ds?
Mar
tha:
Yes,
whatdi
dyoudo?
Me:
Notnowma.
Itakeoutmyphoneandcal
lherbutherphone
doesn'
tgothr
ough.
Me:
Howl
ongagodi
dshel
eav
e?
Martha:
Aft
ery
ouleftshewentt
opi
ckMnqobi
backandshel
eft.
Me:Sheknewshewasl eav
ingt
oday,
that
'
swhy
shewasupall
nightshewaspacki
ng.
Martha:Idi
dtelly
outhelastt
imethatyouwi
ll
pushherawayandy oudidIcantel
lyouri
ght
now,she'snotcomingbackanyt
imesoon.
.
.
TBC
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT38
Mi
ke
Ireal
lydreadwaki ngup,Imeanwhat '
sthepoi nt
thi
shousei sempt yi'm al
lalonebutnev erthe
l
essIst i
llneedt odeal wit
hsomebusi nesssoI
needt ogetup. Itakeashoweranddr eesedup
andheadeddownst air
sandev eryt
hingisintact
,samespotqui etashel lI
'
m nol ongerusedt o
thi
s.IguessMaMar t
hadeci dednottocomei n
notthatthere'sany t
hingshecandoher e.Iopen
thefri
dget olookf orsomet hingbutalsothatis
unusual,Icloset hefri
dgebecauseIdon' teven
feell
ikeeatingt hishouseissodul l
.
?
??:
Yohhy
ourhousehasnev
erbeent
hisqui
et.
It
urnar
oundandi
t'
sTywel
lhedoesn'
tneed
scr
eeni
ngatt
hesecur
it
y.
Me:
That
'sbecauset
her
e'snooneel
seher
e.
Ty:
Yourwi
fehasal
readywentshoppi
ngt
his
ear
ly?
Me:
Shei
sgone!
!Shel
eftme.
Ty
:Ey
ymanI
'
m sor
ry,
wher
eisshenow?
Me:Idon'
tknowbutshesay
sImustnotl
ook
f
orher.
Ty
:Howl
ongwi
l
lshebegone?
Me:Shedoesn'
tknoweither
,I
'
llpr
obabl
ysound
l
ikeajer
kbutwehav eki
dsshecan'tj
ustupand
l
eavewithmykidsforGodknowhowl ong.
Ty:Iknownothingaboutwomanbutonethi
ngI
knowi ssheneedsti
mealonegi
veherthat.
Me:Ij
ustneedtoknowwher esheis,
ifsheis
saf
ewiththeki
dsI'
m notexactl
ythesaintout
her
e.
Ty:Don'tt
rackherbecauseifyouknowwher e
sheisthere'snoguarant
eethatyouwon'tgo
ther
eandi fyoudoyouwi l
lrui
nanychanceof
thi
smar ri
agesurvi
ving.
Me:
Idon'
tknowman,whatifshedeci
desnot
t
ocomeback?whataboutmykids?
Ty:Shewil
lcomeback,j
ustgi
vehert
heti
me
sheneedsandyoualsoneedtogety
ouract
toget
herman.
Me:
Whatdoest
hatmean?
Ty
:Yourot
herbabymama?
Me:
Not
hingi
sgoi
ngont
her
e.
Ty:Onlybecauseshedidn'
twanty ourass,
sort
yourfeel
ingsforthatwoman, t
hatistheonl
y
wayyoucansav eyourmarr
iageifthat
'swhat
youwant.
Me:Idi
dn'
tevenwishmybabi
esahappy
bi
rt
hdayonthei
r1stbi
rt
hdaycal
lmecruel
but
t
hati
sjustsel
fishsheknewhowmuchIwant
ed
t
hatmoment .
Ty:Seewhyy ouneedtofi
xyourfeel
ings,you'v
e
beencompl aini
ngaboutyourki
dsbutnot hi
ng
abouty ourWife.
Doy ouevenacknowledgethat
sheleftyouorallyoucar
eaboutisthatshel ef
t
wit
hy ourkids?
Me:
What
'st
hedi
ff
erence?
Ty:
Dif
fer
encei
s,doyouevenst
il
ll
ovethe
womanorwil
li
ngtosavey
ourmarri
age?
Me:Youknowbeingoprahisnotf
oryou,
come
wit
hmetosortoutthi
spersonwhoissteal
i
ng
f
rom me.
Ty
:(smi
rks)f
inebuty
ouknowI
'
mri
ght.
Me:
Say
sthebachel
or.
Ty
:Atl
easti
don'
twomen'
shear
t.
It
ookmyphoneandpushedhim outandwe
l
eftwi
thhi
scart
othewarehouserightnowI
needt
odeal
wit
hthi
s.
Hepar
ksthecari
nfrontofthewarehouseand
wewalki
nsi
deandtheguy sarei
nthereand
Maxappr
oachesus.
Max:
Boss!
!
Me:
Shei
sint
her
e?
Ty:Youbei
ngout
smar
tedbyawoman?
whoi
s
she?
Me:Abi
tchwit
haner
ve,
that
'swhatshei
s.You
di
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngt
oher?
Max:
Noboss.
Weallwal
ktowherethiswomanisheldand
shei
sdruggedbecauseherheadi
sfacing
down.
Me:
Wakeherup.
Maxspl asheswateronherandshescr
eams
bri
ngingherfaceupandimmediatel
yi'
m
shockedanddi sgust
ed.
Me:
Jesus!
!!I
'
m deal
i
ngwi
thy
ouagai
n,what
t
hehel
ldoyouwant?
Pr
omi
se:
nxaadammi
tletme!
!!
Me:Youl
ikeapestt
hatdoesn'
twantt
odie
,whenwi
l
l youst
op?Idon'
twantyou!
!!
Promise:Getof
fyourhi
ghhor
se,
yourdi
ckai
n'
t
thatgood.
Max:Bosswedidsomeresear
chonher,
thi
s
bi
tchi
sKagiso'
scousi
n.
Me:
Kagi
sowho?
Max:
Bosslady'
sexandtheyhavebeen
meet
ingupinpr
isonandalsoKagi
soisout.
Me:Whendidhegetoutofpri
sonandwhyt
he
hel
ldi
dn'
tyouinf
orm ofal
lthi
s.?
Max: Weonl
yconcl
udedthei
nfolastni
ghtand
youwerenotpi
cki
ngup.Ther
eissomething
else.
Me:
What
?
Max: Thegangthatki
dnappedyouinSout
h
ArabiaweresentbyKagisoandherandher
beingyoursavi
ourwaspartofthepl
anandshe
wasnev erpr
egnant.
Il
ookedatMaxashekeptt ell
i
ngmeal lthi
sand
Ibrushmyheadast heangeri
nsideofmei s
buil
dingupthatsonofabi t
ch,soheplannedall
ofthisandthi
sbitchhadahandi nallt
his
probablyl
aughedatmeasIwasv ul
ner
ableto
her.
Me:Tell
mey
ouar
etr
acki
ngdownt
hatsonofa
bi
tch.
Promise:Yousost upi
d,andher
eyouare
thi
nki
ngy ouareMrbigshotwhoknows
ever
ythingbutherany ourl
i
fefr
om pr
isonand
youdidn'tevenseeathing.
Me: Findt
hathi
m,meanwhi
leineedsomewater
andt heel
ect
ri
fi
ersomeoneneedstobet
aught
alesson.
Pr
omi se:
(l
aughs)Yousti
l
lthi
nkyouknowit
al
l
,i
'v
eacceptedmyf ate,
youmightaswel
lki
ll
mebecausey ouwil
lanyway.
Me:Youdamnri
ghtaboutt
hatbutnoty
etwe
goi
ngtohaveal
otoffunfi
rst.
Promise:Imustsayy
ouandy ourwifear
ereal
l
y
ti
ghtIthoughtt
hatpr
egnancystuntwasgoi
ng
todoit.
Ty
:Youi
nsane.
.
Me:Youwant
edtorui
nmyl i
fef
orwhat
?
Rev
engefory
ourusel
esscousi
n??
Pr
omise:Yousti
ll
thinkheisuseless,
hei
s
pr
obabl
yfucki
ngy ourwif
erightseei
nghow
l
oosesheis..
..
Idi
dn'tevenl
etherfini
shthatsentenceasI
sl
appedhersohar dIfel
tmyheadi t
ch,she'
s
notgoingtodi
srespectLi
li
aninfrontofme.
Pr
omi
se:
(l
aughs)Youknowwhatwashar
d
aboutal
lthi
s?pretendi
ngthatIwasint
oy ou
wheninf
actIwantedtofuckyourwif
etil
lshe
cumsinmymout h,damnshei sawholepack.
Max:
Her
eist
hest
uff
.
Me:
(smi
l
es)Good,
ti
met
opl
ay!
!
Itakeasitri
ghtinfr
ontofherandputherlegs
i
nabowl ofwaterandbroughtt
heelect
ri
c
chargetoherandIcouldseetheevi
dentfeari
n
hereyes.
Me:Youandkagisothi
nkmyworl
disy
ourpl
ay
gr
ound.
..
..
whatyoucan'
ttal
know?
ShelooksawayandTyislooki
ngsodeeply
towardswhatI
'
m doingIguessbecausehehas
neverseenmet or
tur
eaperson.
Iconnectt
hechargewit
hherarm andshe
screamsoutloudfr
om theel
ect
ri
fyi
ngmov i
ng
i
nherchairandIstopandsheissti
l
lcr
ying.
Me:
Letmet
ell
youhowy
ougoi
ngt
odi
e,Iwon'
t
damagey ouIwanty ourancestorstofi
ndyou
sti
ll
intactwellexceptyourmissinghand
may bebot handI '
l
lshootyouiny ourthr
oat
that
'saniceendi ngforabitchli
key ou
ri
ght?Maxhandmet hechoppingcleaver.
Pr
omi
se:
(cr
ying)Mi
kepl
ease,
,
,,
,
,,
,
please
Me: Youbeggi
ng,
Ithoughtyouhadaccept
ed
yourfat
emi ssMadam speaker?
Itakethecl
eaverf
rom Maxandshestar
ts
screamingasIposi
ti
onitonherwr
ist.
Ty
:Mi
keman?
?
Me:
Ify
oucan'
tbeart
his,
wai
tformei
nthecar.
Hest epsf arbackbutPromi seneedst obe
taughtal essonandshei snotsov ocal now,her
andt hatbloodyKagisowi l
lpayf ordegr ading
mymanhoodandpr i
de.Shet anglesupi nthe
chairscreami ngasIrai
set hechoppi ngcl eav
er
andbr i
ngi tdownseparatingherhandwi t
hher
arm andherbl oodspl
ashesov ermyf aceand
sheisinimmer sepainandil
ookstrai
ghti
nto
hereyesasshescr eamsandmov esvigor
ousl
y
i
nt hechaircal
lmecol dhear
tedbutshe
deservesit.
Iputamout hfol
dinsi
dehermouth
Icantstantherscr
eami ngandstandupwipi
ng
myf ace.
Thabo:BossIfi
nall
yopenedherphoneandsent
thecousi
nat extofwheret
heyshouldmeet
andhesaidheiscoming.
Me:Good,gethi
m her
e.Iwouldfeelamazingif
Icanki
l
lthem bot
htoday.
Tylet'
sstepoutside.
Wewal
kout
sideandhekeepsl
ooki
ngback.
Ty:ManIknewy
ouwer
edanger
iousbutnot
thi
smuch.
Me:Thatbi
tchpl
ayedar
olei
ndest
roy
ingmy
marr
iage,
sherui
nedmyweddi
ngni
ghtwit
h
Li
l
ianandasforKagi
so.
Ty
:Remi
ndmenev
ert
omesswi
thy
ou.
Me:Youknowwhati r
ri
tat
esmemosti sthati
n
al
lofthi
stheyendeduphurt
ingLil
i
anthemost
andthenshehasthenerv
etoinsul
ther.
Hej
ustl
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed.
Me:
DidIsaysomet
hingf
unny
?
Ty:Noit'
sjustt
hewayy ousoconcer
nmore
aboutthewaytheyhurtLi
li
anwhentheywere
theoneswhoar r
angedwhathappenedtoyou.
Me:What '
swrongwit
hthat,
Lil
i
anismywi f
e
andIloveherandI
'
m amanIcanhandle
whateverandshehasbeenbrokenbyt
hisman
bef
oreandnowhedoesi tagai
n.
Ty
:Fi
nal
l
yyousnapback.
Me:Idi
dn'
tki
llhim bef
orebecauseLi
l
ian
t
houghtofCl
airebutnowi'
m kil
li
nghi
m.
Ty:whenwewer ei
nyourhouseyoudidn'
teven
menti
onLili
an'
snamebuty ouhav
ejustsai
dit5
ti
mesinlessthanaminut
e.
Ij
ustlookedathim becauseIdonot
underst
andwhathi spointwasinallthi
s.We
stay
edint hecarforabout45mi nut
esandt he
guystol
dmet hatKagisowasher eandwewent
backtothewar ehouseandt heyalr
eadycuffed
hi
mt other oofandhewasswi ngingstri
pped
naked.
Ty
:Shi
t!!
!
Me:
Wemeetagai
n!
It
ookoutt
hemouthf
oldfr
om Pr
omi
seandshe
wasst
il
lwi
nci
ngfr
om pai
n.
Kagiso:
Dowhatevery
ouwantwi
thmebutl
et
hergomanplease.
Me:
Iwasj
ustwai
ti
ngf
ory
out
ofi
nishherof
f.
Kagi
so:
Pleaseman.
..
Itookthecl
eaverandwhil
elooki
ngathimI
choppedherotherhandandshejumpedfrom
painscry
ingandscreami
ngandheswi nged
backandf or
thIdon'
treal
l
yknowwhathe
thoughthewasgoingtodo.
Kagi
so:
Youbast
ardar
ecr
azy!
!!
!
Me:
Yout
hink?
Imov ednextt ohim whi
lehewassti
llpay
ing
attentiontoPr omiseandhelduphi
spenisand
hest artedshakinghisheadbeggi
ngmenott o
butIj ustlookedathim andCuti
toffandhe
groanedi npai nj
iggl
inghisl
egsandblood
spill
ing.
Me:
That
'scr
azyhowIam .
Max:
shi
tBoss.
Me:
Giv
emet
hatbucketofwat
er.
MaxheadedmethebucketandIspl
ashedi
tin
t
hei
rwoundsandtheyl
ostiti
npainbothof
t
hem.
Me:Itwasnotenought
hatyoutor
ment
edLi
l
ian
bef
orebutyouhadtodoitagai
n,y
ouar
eone
usel
esspi
gthatdoesnotev
endeser
vet
obea
fat
her.
ItookoutmygunandaskedMaxt ogi
vemehis
,Ihel
dbothgunsatt hemouthsand
"Boom,Boom"wast hesoundyoucoul
dhearI'
m
done.Kagiso'
sheadhangedandPromiseswas
sli
tedwellminusoneproblem .
Me:Gentsbur
nthi
swhol
eplaceupwit
h
ever
ythi
ng,
thi
sismyl
astki
l
lingwel
lunlessi
'
m
for
cedtoagai
n.
Max:
YesBoss.
Me:
Tyl
etsgo,
myj
obher
eisdone.
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT39
Mi
ke
Ithasbeent woweeksnowandst i
llnowor d
from Lil
i
anandnowi '
mr unni
ngoutofpatience
becauseImi ssmywi feandkidsandThabi sa
wasdi sappointedthatsheisnotmeetingher
sibl
ingsasofy et.
Speaki
ngofThabisasheandI
areonapl aner ightnow,wearegoingtomy
parentssoshecanmeett hem of
fi
cial
lyandshe
real
lyisamazi ng.
Thabi
sa:
Aret
heygoi
ngt
oli
keme?
Me:Ift
here'sanyt
hingIknowaboutmyparent
s
i
sthelovetheyhaveforthei
rgr
andchi
l
dren
.Theywil
lloveyouespecial
l
ymymom because
youareexactl
yli
keher.
Thabi
sa:Idon'
tknowwhethert
hati
sa
compli
mentorwhat(l
aughs)
Me:
Abi tofbot
h,It
alkedt
oyourmot
herabout
t
hecarandshesaidokay.
Thabi
sa:
Real
l
y?
Me:
Yessowhenwecomebackwecangot
o
t
hedealer
shi
pandal
sof
rom nowonI
'
m pay
ing
f
oryourst
udi
es.
Sheisacrier,
wehav ebeenspendi
ngalotof
ti
met oget
herandsheisv er
ysensi
ti
ve.She
stoodupfrom hersi
tandsatonmyl aphuggi
ng
meandIknowshei sabouttocry.
Me:Notear
splease,Iwi
ll
nevermakeupfort
he
l
ostt
imebutI'
l
l beheref
orev
er y
thi
ngel
se.
Thabi
sa:Thanksdadbutwhataboutyourwi
fe,
I
don'
twanthertohatef
orever
ythi
ngthatyou
doi
ngrightnow.
Me:
Don'twor
ryaboutt
hatIwil
ldeal
wi t
hitplus
mywif
eisaveryni
cepersonshewil
lloveyou.
Shest
andsupandgobackt
oherseat.
Thabi
sa:Iknowyousaidithadnothingt
odo
withmebutitski
ndofweirdthatIshowupi
n
yourl
if
eandsheleaves.
Me:
Iknow,
buti
treal
l
yhadnot
hingt
odowi
th
y
ou.
Shejustnodsherheadandconcentratesonher
phonesheissoselfconsi
ousaboutmyf amily
l
ikingher.
MylaptopbeepsandIlookati tand
Clair
ewasonsky peIal
sohaven'
ttalkedt oher
i
nawhi leandpartoft
hereasoni
st hegui l
tof
kil
li
ngherfat
her,
Iknowshewasnotongood
termswithhi
m butsti
ll
.
Me:
Heybaby
gir
l.
Cl
air
e:"
HeyUncl
eMi
ke,
howar
eyou?
"
Me:
I'
m good,
you?
Clai
re:
"I'
m al
sogood,
mom call
edmelastweek
andsaidsheisgoi
ngawayforawhil
ebutI
coul
dtellshewasnotokay,
whati
sgoingon?"
Me:
Ahhhal
otoft
hingsbutwewi
l
lsor
titout.
Cl
air
e:"
Pleasedo,
doy
ouknowwher
eshei
s?"
Me:No, t
hel astti
meIsawyourmot
heri
swhen
Il
efthersleepingint
hebed.
Clai
re:
"I
m sor
ry,
I
'vet
ri
edcal
l
ingherbuther
phoneisoff
"
Me:Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
,whenar
eyou
comi
nghomemi ssy
?
Clai
re:
"(
str
etchesherhead)AhhhthisiswhyI
needyouandmom t ofixthi
ngsbecauseIam
notcomingbackduringthefest
iveseasonor
chri
stmas."
Me:OhhNo,countmeoutIwi
l
lnotbear
ound
whenyout
ellher.
Cl
aire:
"Uncl
eMikepleaseyouknowshewil
lgo
cr
azyonmeandi fy
out her
ewhenItel
lhery
ou
wi
llbeabl
etocal
m herdown."
Me:(
laughs)Nooooot
hatisexact
lywhyIwil
l
notbepartofi
t,
whyareyounotcomingback?
Cl
air
e:"
Becauseofst
aff
"
Me:OhhyoumeanbecauseofMat
hewy
our
boy
fri
end!
!
Clai
re:
"Howdi dy.
..
nev
ermind,
Ithoughtwe
agreedthaty
ounotgoingt
ohavepeople
watchingme? "
Me:
Youhadanagr
eementwi
thwho?
Clai
re:
"Alr
ightt
hen,
Iwi
l
lcal
lyoui
fIt
alkt
o
her.
Bye"
Il
aughedasshequi
ckl
ydi
sconnct
edwhenher
boyf
ri
endcamein.
Thabi
so:
Wast
hatCl
air
e?
Me:Yes,Iam sogl
adt
hatt
het
woofy
ouar
e
nother
eatthesameti
me.
Thabi
sa:
Whynot
?
Me:
Becausey
ouar
ebot
hspoi
l
ed.
Thabiso:
Iam notspoi
l
edIam j
ustl
oved
enough.
Me:
(laughs)Al
ri
ght
.
Thabi
so:
Whatdi
dshemeanbybei
ngwat
ched?
Me: That
'sal
sosomet
hingy
oushoul
dgetused
toifyoudeci
detogosomewher
ewherewe
cannotseeyou.
Thabi
so:
Whatexact
lydoy
oudoasaj
ob?
Me:
Abi
tofev
ery
thi
ng,
why?
Thabi
sa:Youhav
eeveryt
hing,
money,
huge
house,
ahousewife.
..
.
Me:Don'teversaythatar
oundher,shei
snota
housewifeshejustchoosesnottoworkshe
haspeoplerunni
ngherbusinesses.
Thabi
sa:
Howmanydoesshehav
e?
Me:Shehast
wobr
anchesi
nNewYor
kand
t
hreeher
e.
Thabi
so:
Soy
oubot
hri
ch?
Me:Somethi
nglikethatbutdon'
tgeti
ttwi
sted
shei
sverypart
icul
arabouthowsheuses
money.
..
Wef
inal
l
ymadei
ttot
heai
rpor
tandnowshe
wasquietIr
eal
lydonotknowwhyshei s
ner
vousbutshewillhavetogetoveritbecause
weareherenowandl iket
herestofthem sheis
amazedbythepalace.
Thabi
sa:
Howmanypeopl
eli
veher
e?
Me:
Two.
Thabi
sa:Wow,i'
veneverbeeni
nar
oyal
house
befor
ethi
sisbeaut
if
ul.
Wewalkinsi
deandwhenwegeti
nmymot
her
i
sal
readystandi
ngbyt
hedoor
.
Me:
Mot
her
?
Mar
ia:
YoumustbeThabi
sa.
?
Thabi
sa:
Yesmam
Mari
a:comeinandI
'
m noty
ourmam I
'
myour
gr
andmother.
Thabi
saj
ustsmil
esatherandofcausemy
mom hadtohughersoti
ghtIdon'
tthi
nkshe
knewwhattodo,
wewalkedintotheli
vi
ngroom
andmyDadgr eet
edandtheytal
kedt
oThabi
sa
moreli
kequesti
oni
ngherbutshewasagood
par
ti
ci
pant.
Mari
a:Whydidn'
tyoucomewi
thmyot
her
gr
andchi
l
dren?
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyoul
ater
.
Mar
ia:
No,
now.
Wewalkedoutint
otheGardenwhileDadand
Thabi
sacont
inuedwit
htheirconv
ersat
ion.
Me:
Shel
eft
.
Mar
ia:
Lef
twher
e?
Me:
Shel
eftmemot
her
.
Mar
ia:
Whatdi
dyoudot
hist
ime?
Me:Wowy
oumakei
tsoundl
i
keIal
way
smess
up.
Mar
ia:
Don'
tyou?
Me:
Icheat
ed.
Iexpect
edhert
osl
apmebutshej
ustl
ookedat
me.
Me:
Younotgoi
ngt
osayany
thi
ng?
Maria:I
'
mjusttr
yingt ofi
gureoutwhyyouare
sostupid,
j
ustyesterdaythetwoofyouwere
deali
ngwit
hthatPr omisegir
landnowy ou
cheatonher?
Me:
Iknowmot
her
.
Mar i
a:Youclearl
ydon't,
howf arwil
l youpush
thatgir
l?Becauseshewil
l gett
iredifsheisnot
alr
eady.Shei ssupposetobeenj oy
ingherf i
rst
yearofmar ri
agebutyoumaki ngsur ethatshe
i
smi serable.Whoisshe?
Me:
Thabi
sa'
smot
her
.
Maria:
IfsheleaveyouIwon'tstopher,
i
nf actI
hopeshedoesbecausey ouactingli
keajerk
.Thatwomanhasbeennot hingbutsupporti
ve
toyouandy oujustkeeppl
ayingher.
Me:Ir
eal
isethatandIwantt
ofi
xital
li
fonl
yI
knewwhereshewas.
Mar
ia:
Youdon'
tknowwher
eshei
s?
Me: No,noonedoes.
Shecal
l
edever
yonet
ell
i
ng
them sheisleav
ingf
orawhil
eandl
eftwi
tht
he
kidsTwoweeksago.
Maria:
Andy
oudi
dseet
heneedt
otel
lme
aboutit
?
Me:
Iwascaughtupi
not
hert
hings.
Mari
a:Inot
hert
hings?Yourwi
fei
smi
ssi
ngand
youbusywit
hothert
hings?
Me:
Shei
snotmi
ssi
ng,
shel
eft.
Maria:Mziwonkey ouhavealotofenemies
becauseofy ourprevi
ousjobandyouthi
nkits
okayforyout onotknowwher eyourwi
feand
ki
dsar eoriftheyaresaf
e.
Me: IknowthatmotherbutIwi
l
lonl
ymake
t
hingsworseifIf
oll
owher.
Mar ia:IloveLi l
ianshei sanamazi ngwoman
andwi febutnoonedeser vessuchmi ser yin
thebegi nningofamar r
iage,may bet hi
si sjusta
testofy ourloveormay bet heuniv ersei stryi
ng
totell youbot ht hatmay bey oujustnotmeant
tobe, may bey ouwer eboundt ojusthav ekids
toget herandnotbet ogetherbecauset hisi s
Tox i
candoneofy ouwi l
lbedest royedbyi tand
i
nt hiscaset hatwi llbeLili
anandI '
m notsur e
shecansur viv
et hat.There'
sasay ingthatsay s
"I
fy oul ovesomet hingy ouhav etol etitgo"I
beli
ev et hatthismaybet hescenar ioot herwise
youandLi l
ianwi llenduphat ingeachot her
,theni tdoesn' tbecomeMar ri
agei tbecomes
conv enience.
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT40
(
3mont
hsl
ater
)
Li
l
ian
Ireleaseahugesi ghast hecabst opsi nfront
ofmyhouseandki dsar er eall
yexci tedIcant el
l
byt heirsmi les, nott hatt heywer emi serablein
Hawai ibutev ent her eIcoul dtell t
heymi ssed
theirfatherbutIj ustneededsomet imet omy
selfwi thoutMi kear ound. Thet imeawaydi dme
goodIgott oev aluat et hingsf orwhatt heyare
andwher eIst andi nt hismar r
iageanddi d
somest rongi ntrospect ionwi t
hinmy selfand
onet hingi willnev erdoi sst aywher eIam not
appr eciated, sowhat ev erhappensf rom her e
willbei nhi shands. Iwasnotcompl etelyoff
cont actt oev eryone, Ijustusedadi fferent
phoneandofcausedi dnotcont actMi keI
serioushopeheal sousedt histimet odeci de
whathewant sbecauseIam wi ll
ingt of or
give
forthel astt i
mebutnoti fIst i
llsense
uncer taintyfrom hi ssi de.
Mnqobi
:Fi
nal
l
y!!
!!
Me:
Unedr
amay
az.
Ipaidthecabandi mmediatelythesecurity
guyscamet otakethebagsandt heywer e
smili
ngmi ghtyhardf ormylikingIguessmy
presencewasf el
t,Mnqobiwasal readyrunning
i
nside. Ipi
ckedupSi yaputt
inghi minmywai st
andofcauset heli
ttl
edivawant edtowal kby
herselfsoIletbuttheprobl
em i ssheistaking
hertimeandIhav etobebehi ndher.
Thesecuri
tyguyscamebackoutaft
erputt
ing
thebagsandwhenIgotinsi
deIj
ustlooked
aroundanditwassodul
landquiet.
Mnqobi
:Noonei
sher
e(sad)
Me:
(IputSi
yadown)Yousad?
Mnqobi
:YeahhImi
sseddadanduncl
eMi
ke.
Me:Iwil
lcal
lyourdadandI
'
m sur
eMi
kewi
l
lbe
backsoon.
Thetwinswer ealr
eadywel comi ngthemselves
backbecauset heyarebusyr unningaround
makingnoisefornor eason,Ihear dthesl
idi
ng
dooropenandi twasMaMar thashehadon
gardenglovesshewaspr obablybusywi t
hher
pl
ants,t
hekidsallrantoherandshekneel ed
downt otheirl
evelhuggingthem.
Mar
tha:
Aboutt
ime,
Imi
ssedmyki
ds.
Me:
Sawbonama.
Mar
tha:
Mychi
l
d,howar
eyou?
Shecametowar
dsmeandhuggedmebut
i
mmediat
elypul
l
edoutandl
ookedatme.
Mar
tha:
Andt
hen?
Me:Mnqobit
aket
het
winst
othepl
ayr
oom I
wi
ll
betherenow.
Mnqobi
:Al
ri
ght,
don'
tfor
gett
ocal
ldad.
Me:
Iwon'
t.
Theyal
ll
eav
e.
Me:
Wel
lyouwer
eri
ght,
Iam pr
egnant.
Mart
ha:
ohhItoldyouIknewsucht
hingsbut
whobel
iev
esoldpeopl
e?
Me:
Ma!
!!
!
Mar
tha:
Howf
ar?
Me:
3mont
hsand3weeks.
Mart
ha:Congr
atul
ati
on,t
hatchi
l
disl
uckyt
o
hav
ey ouasamother.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
..
..
.Wher
eishe?
Mar
tha:
I'
m notsur
e,butt
hankGody
ouback.
Me:
Why
?
Mart
ha:It
hinktheonlyt
hingt
hatmadehi
m
l
ookli
kealivi
ngpersoni
sThabisaot
hert
han
t
hatheisal
way sdown.
Me:
Iguesshet
oldy
ou.
Mart
ha:YepandIdon'
tbl
ameyoufort
aki
ng
someti
meawaybutIt hi
nkhesur
elyr
eal
i
sed
hi
smi
stake.
Me:
Iwi l
lbeli
evethatwhenIseei
t,att
hispoi
ntI
r
eal
l
ydon' tcar
eitwill
beuptohimt opr
oveto
methatheissincere.
Mar
tha:
Ohhi
'
m sohappyf
ory
ouont
hebaby.
Me:
Talkingofthat,
Iam st
arv
ingi
sther
eev
en
f
oodinthishouse?
Mart
ha:Iboughtafewstafft
hismor
ningbut
youknowMikehardlyeat
swhenheisalone.
Me:
SoThabi
sacomesher
eal
ot?
Mart
ha:
No,shecamet
wiceor3t
imesshei
sa
l
ovel
yki
dthough.
Me:
Iknow,
Ihav
emetherbef
ore.
Mar
tha:
Youdi
d?
Me:
YeahwhenIwasst
il
lseei
ngTumi
.
Mar
tha:
Ohh
Me:
Ineedpeanutbut
ter.
Mar
tha:
Justcheckt
her
eint
heuppershel
ve.
Iwassti
l
l searchi
ngthr
oughtheshel
veswhen
thet
winsbot hcamedowncr y
ingandMnqobi
wasbehindthem unbother
ed,I
'
m begi
nni
ngto
seeanewsi l
lysidet
oMnqobi .
Mar
tha:
Somet
hingsnev
erchange(
laughs)
Me:Mnqobi
whyar
emyki
dscr
ying?
comeher
e
babi
es.
Mnqobi:Idi
dn'tdoanything,
theywerefight
ing
eachotherandIdidn'
tstopthem becauseI
wantedtoseewhowasgoi ngtocryfir
stbut
theycr
iedatthesamet ime.
Mar
tha:
Mnqobi
youcan'
tdot
hat!
!!
Mnqobi
:Myf
ri
endsandIdoi
t.
Me:
Ohhsowenay
ouf
ightatschool
?
Mnqobi
:Nomyf
ri
endsdo,
Ij
ustwat
ch.
Ical
medt het
winsdownandgav
ethem bot
h
snacks.
Mnqobi
:Whataboutme?
Me:
Yourpuni
shmentf
ornotst
oppi
ngt
hem .
Mnqobi:
Thisisnotf
air,
theynotmyki
dsy
ou
shoul
dstopthem.
Idon'tknowwhatIdidtobecur sedwi
th
chi
ldrenwithsmartmouths,becauseMnqobiis
thesecondv er
sionofClai
reandIcanalready
tel
lthetwinswil
lal
sotakeinthegene.
Me:Andy oualsomychil
dsoI'
mtel
l
ingy
out
hat
younotgett
inganysnacks.
Hewasaboutt othrowatant
rum butIdon'
t
carehecansulkall
hewantsheshouldhave
stoppedthet
wins,weheardagir
lyvoice
anchori
ngthr
oughthedoor.
?
??:
Butdady
ouhav
...
.
Shestoppedasshenoti
cedevery
oneinside
,Mikefol
lowedinandbefor
eIcoul
dcatcha
gl
impseofhisreacti
ontheki
dswerealr
eady
aroundhim, hebenddownembr acingthem and
theystar
tedhav i
ngaconv er
sati
onandl aughing
whileThabi
sawasj ustst
andi
ngtherethepoor
girl
didn'
tknowwhatt odoandherfatherwas
nothelpi
ngbecausehewasbusywi t
hot her
kids.Sheprobablydoesn'
tevenremember
me,shemov edtowar dsme.
Thabi
sa:
GooddayMa.
Me:
Heybaby,
howar
eyou?
ShelookedatmeshockedIguessshethoughtI
wouldbemeanbutIhonestl
yhavenopr obl
em
wit
hhermypr obl
em i
swithherpar
ents.
Thabi
sa:
I'
m okay
,howabouty
ou?
Me:If
inal
l
yputyout
oget
her,
youl
ookl
i
key
our
gr
andmother.
Thabi
sa:
Wemetbef
ore?
Me:
Iny
ourmot
her
'sof
fi
ce.
Shepoppedherey
esoutIdon'
tknowwhybutI
wasmor econcernorratherhurtthatmyso
call
edhusbandhasnotev enacknowl edgedmy
presencehei ssti
ll
wi t
hhiskids,asifheheard
mehest andsupandourey esl
ockand
i
nstantlyregreti
tbecausemyhear ti
sbetray
ing
meandInot i
cehi
sv ei
nspoppingandhi seyes
becomegl ossy,
ohhhellnoheisnotaboutt o
cry.
Mart
ha:
Kidsl
etsgi
vey
ourpar
ent
ssomet
ime
al
one.
Mart
hal eftwiththekidsandMi kewasstil
l
st
andingt hereatleasthiseyeswerenowclear
,I
'
m stil
lbehindthecount ersohehasnotseen
myvisibl
ebumpbecausei fhedidhisass
woul
dt alkingri
ghtnow. Helooksali
ttl
epale.
Me:
Youdon'
ttal
know?
Mi
ke:
uhhhhm Hi
.
Me:
Youdon'
tseem t
opl
easedt
oseeme.
Mi
ke:
Iam ,
Iahappyact
ual
l
ythaty
oubackI
mi
ssedy
ou.
Me:
Itsgoodt
oknowIwasmi
ssed.
Mike:
Lil
i
anIam sor
ry,
i
twasnev
ermyi
ntent
ion
t
ohurtyouandIdi
d.
Me:
Youdi
d.
Mike:At housand" I
'
m sorry"I
'm will
ingt osay
butIknowi tcan'tundowhatIdi doreaset he
pai
nIcausedy ouIt ot
all
ydeserveall t
heanger
andresentmentf rom youforwhatIhav eput
youthroughsincet hebeginni
ngoft his
marri
age, howev erital
sopainsmet oseey ou
suff
eri
ngasar esul tofmyact i
ons.Gui ltburns
i
nmyhear tthi
nki ngofallthehurtthaty oumust
havefeltbecauseofmyundeci dedemot ions.I
knowthedeci sionofwher ewegof rom nowi s
notminet omake, Ihavereli
nquishedt hatr i
ght
whenIcheat ed. Iloveyouso...
..
Me:
Stop!
!!
Mi
ke:
letmef
ini
shwhatIwantt
osay
..
..
Ilov
e
youandIwantt ospendt her estofmyl i
fe
prov i
ngmyl ovetoy oubutwhatmat ter
smost
tomei syourhappinessandwel l-
bei
ng.Iti
smy
wisht hatyougivemeanot herchancetomend
thingsbecauseIbel i
eveourr elati
onshi
pcan
bloom onceagainbutI fyounol ongerf
eellove
,trustandsecuri
tyinourr elati
onshipandwi sh
towal kawayIwon' tstandiny ourwaybecause
alliwantisforyout obehappyev enifi
tsnot
withme. I
'
m sorry

[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT41
Li
l
ian
Hi
stoneandpost
ureconf
ir
mtomet
hathei
s
sincer eandmeanswhathei ssayi
ng, thepar t
ofhi m notst andingi nmywayi fIwantt ol eave
i
sact uallynottruet hatisjusthi
swayoft ell
ing
met hathewon' tgrov elonhiskneesf ormy
forgivenessmay beIshoul dstopthisfantasyof
changi nghimi ntoacompassi onateper son
becauseIwi l
lnev ersucceed. Corr
ectmei fIam
wr ongbutr i
ghtnowhei ssupposet obe
vulner abletomebuthei ssoseri
ousIcan' t
event el lwhathewi l
ldonext, myhear thas
alreadyf orgivenhi m byjustwhathej ustsai d
buthi sassi snotof fthehooky et,
hemi ghtnot
wantt obegmebutIwi l
l makehim begme.
Me:
Cal
lyourgi
rl
fr
iendt
ocomeher
e.
Mi
ke:
Idon'
thav
eagi
rl
fr
iend!
Ij
ustgiv
ehi m adeadst ar
eraisingmyey ebrows
andhereturnsthelookbuttakesouthi sphone
l
ookingforhernumber, heistypingIguesshe
sendi
ngat ext
.I
'm sti
ll
standingbyt hecounter
andthi
spregnancyt hi
ngismaki ngitdi
ff
icul
t
formet omoveIdon'
tknowwhatt osayabout
,DoIj ustbl
urbi
toutorl
ethim seeit?
Whoam I
kiddi
ngMi keisassl
owast heycomeIam not
wear i
ngat ooti
ghtt
ophewon' tev
enseethe
diff
erence.
Mike:Shei
scomi
ng,
exact
lywhyi
sshecomi
ng
here?
Me:Call
mewhenshegetshere,
Ineedt
o
f
reshentheki
dst
heyhadalongf
li
ght.
Mi
ke:
Okay,
theypr
obabl
yti
redHawai
ii
stoof
ar.
Iwasaboutt osaysomet hi
ngaboutt hatbutI
stoppedmysel f,
Iexpectedthatbutwhat
surpri
sesmei sthatheknewwher eIwasbut
didshowupt heredemandi ngthatIcomeback
home. JustasIthoughthedoesn'tevennotice
thatIhaveabump, Itakethekidsupstair
sI
needtof r
eshenupt oo.

-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
-
Judgement sasideIlov
eMi keandIwantour
mar r
iaget owor kbutwhatI'm abouttodoi s
makingner vouswhatifIdon'tgetwhatIwant
.Hecal ledmeaf ewmi nut
esagosay i
ng
Tumel owasher eIneedtogett hi
sov erwithso
Icanknowt hewayf orward.Iwalkdownst airs
andf orami nutesIlookatthem threelaughing
andsmi l
ingandt osayitdi
dn'thurtIwouldbe
l
yingt heymakesuchacut ef amil
y.Imakemy
presencef eltandtheyallt
urntolookatmeand
Tumi looksner vousbutInoticehereyes
l
andingonmybel ly,
seehowcl uelessMikei s.
Me:
Thabi
sababy,
cany
ouexcuseus?
Thabi
sa:
Alr
ight,
I
'l
lbei
nyourcarmom .
Shesay
staki
ngt
hekey
sbutIgr
abherhand.
Me:Iwoul
dlovei
tify
oucansl
eepovert
oni
ght
butt
hat
'si
fit
sokaywithy
ouTumi.
?
Tumi
:Ihav
enopr
obl
em .
Me:
Alr
ightt
hen,
i
nthemeant
imegochoosea
r
oom f
ory
oursel
f.
Shel
ooksatmeandunexpect edl
yshehugsme
,I
'mthrownoffIdon'
tknowwhattodobutI
hugherbackandshegoesupstair
s,IseeIhav
e
myselfanot
herspoil
tbratt
otheserat
sIhave.
Isi
tdownandt
heybot
hwai
ti
ngf
ormet
osay
somethi
ng.
Me:Ionl
yhaveonequestionforbot
hofy ou,I
knowtheconnect
ionbetweenthetwoofy ou
wil
lal
waysbetherebutwhatIwantt oknowis
doyousti
ll
havefeel
ingsforeachother?
Tumi
respondsf
ir
st.
Tumi :No,
Iwon' tli
eandsayIwasnott aken
abackwhenIsawMi kethatdayandI '
m sorryI
steppedinsidey ourmarriagebutIhav eno
feel
ingsorintentionsofhav i
ngt hem .What
happenedbet weenuswasami stakeleadby
l
ustandIi nstantlyregr
etedit.Il
ov eyour
brotherandIwantt omaket hi
ngswor kwit
h
hi
m.
Il
ookatMikeandourey
esl
ockagai
n,Iknow
hewon'
tl
ie.
Mi
ke:
No,
Il
oveandi
nlov
ewi
thmywi
fe.
Hiseyesarest
il
llockedwi
thmi ne,Iguess
becauseTumihadanexplanationIexpected
hi
m alsotobuthe'sdone,
Ibreakof ft
heey e
contact.
Me:Mhhhokay,It
alkedtoSizwel
astweekand
heseemedokaysoI'm guessi
ngy
ouhaven'
t
tol
dhim.
Tumi:Ionl
ytol
dhim aboutMikebei
ng
Thabi
sa'sf
atherbutIunder
standi
fyouwantt
o
tel
lhi
m.
Me:Iwon'
t,l
ookyoumakemybr
otherhappy
andIdon'
twantt
orui
nthat.
Tumi
:Thanky
ou.
Me:
That
'sal
lIwant
edt
oknowandt
his
chapt
eri
scl
osed.
Tumi:Thanky ou,
Ihavetogoandohh
congr
atulat
ions(smil
es)
Shestandsupandl eavesandMi keisstil
l
confusedaboutt he"congratulat
ion"partandI
am notaboutt oentert
ainhim, Iwalkupt he
stai
rsleavi
nghi minthesameposi t
ion.Isi
t
downont hebedappl yi
nghotr ubonmyf eet
theyeasil
ygetswol l
ent heseday s,Ilookup
whenIheart hedoorbur stopenandi tsMike
andhehasal eansmugonhi sfaceandhe
comesandst andinfrontofme.
Me:
andt
hen?
Mi
ke:
Standup?
Il
ookathi m crazyandhegrabsmyhand
makingmest andup,Iwanttocusshim out
whenhepul l
smyt opupandt herei
tis
agai
n,thoseglossyeyes.I
fthere'
sanythi
ng
Mikelovesmor ethananythi
ngi shi
skids.
Mi
ke:
Youpr
egnant!
!!
!?
Me:
Ibel
i
evet
hewor
dyoul
ooki
ngf
ori
s"we"
.
Ifeel
bot hhi
shandst
ouchingmybel l
yandi t
sendstingl
estomybody,Iguesstheinnerhoe
i
nmei saboutt
osurf
ace.Imissedhim.
Mi
ke:
Howf
ar?
Me:
Almostf
ourmont
hs.
Mi
ke:
I'
m goi
ngt
obeaf
atheragai
n?
Hei stal
kingbuthisattent
ionisstil
lfocusedon
myt ummy, Iguessthisisexcit
ingtohim
consider
ingt hathewasnev eraroundf oral
lthe
kidsduri
ngt hepregnancyorbirthwhich
remindsme. ..
Me:OkaycanIsitdown(
webot
hsi
tdown)I
oweyouanapology.
Hel
ooksatmeconf
used.
Me:Iam notsor
ryf
orleavi
nghoweverIam
sor
ryforl
eavi
ngonthatspeci
fi
cdayIknow
howmuchy ouwantedtobewi t
hthetwi
nson
thei
rfi
rstbi
rthdaybutIwassocaughtupinmy
feel
i
ngsIjustwantedtohurtyou.
Mike:It
sokay
,Iunder
stand.
Ther
ewi
l
lbeot
her
bi
rthdays.
Me: UhhhIf or
givey ouandwecanmov epast
thi
sbutIpr omisey ouMi keifyoudothi
sagai
n
I'
m out.Icandeal withthedramabutwhatI
cannotdeal wit
hischeat ing.Thi
sisourl
ast
chance.
Hesaysnothingandpul l
smei ntoahugandI
embraceit,
regardl
essoftheangerIhadI
missedhi
m andbei nginhisarms.Hepull
sout
ofthehugandt akessomethinginhi
spocket
.I
tsmyr i
nghesl owlyputsitbackonmyfinger.
Mike:
IknowImakei tdiff
icul
tforyoutolove
mebutneverdoubtmyl oveforyou,youmylife
Li
l
ianandIwil
lprovethattil
lthedayIdie.
Me:
Real
l
y?y
ouhadt
orui
nthemomentby
i
nvol
vi
ngdeat
h.
Mike:I'
m seri
ousthough,whenyouweregoneI
real
isedthatmyli
fehadnomeani ngwithout
youandourki ds.
I'
m nevertaki
ngchanceswit
h
ourmar r
iageagai
n.
Me:Rememberthatt
henextt
imey ourdi
ck
deci
dest
oputitsel
fwher
eitdoesn'tbel
ong.
Isaylay
ingi
nhi
schestandhewr
apshi
shands
aroundme.
Me:
Promi
semeonet
hingt
hough.
Mi
ke:
What
?
Isi
tupandl
ookathi
mtoughi
nghi
shand.
Me:
Whateverhappenst
hist
imey
ouwi
l
lbe
t
her
edur
ingthebirt
h.
Mike:Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
ebaby
..
..
canIki
ss
you?
Me:Sincewhendoy
ouaskper
missi
ont
odo
t
hings?
Mi
ke:
Don'
tgetusedt
oit(
kissesme)
Me:
Imi
ssedy
out
oo.
Mike:
Pleasecal
lyourmotheri
nlaw,
Ihav
e
beeninadogboxsinceyoulef
t.
Me:(
laughs)It
oldyouthatyourmotherlov
es
memor ethanyoubutIwi l
ldothatlat
erri
ght
nowIwantt ospendti
mewi thmyhusband
whil
etherascal
saretaki
nganappl usIhaveto
cookdinner
.
Mi
ke:
Iwi
l
lcookdon'
twor
ry.
Ohhnohei
snot
.
Me:
Ilov
emyki
dsandmysel
fsot
hanky
ou.
Mike:
Imaynotbegoodatcooki
ngbutI
'
m good
atmanyot
herthi
ngs.
Me:
Well
Iwoul
dli
ket
oputoneoft
hoseski
l
ls
t
owork.
Isayunbuckl
inghi
sbeltandhejustlooksatme
withasmirkonhisfacebutIneedsexright
nowbecausethesepr
egnancyhormonesar
e
star
ti
ngtoearl
yformyliki
ng.
Helaysmedown
andgetsbet
weenmyl egs.
Mi
ke:
Howdowedot
hissi
ncey
oupr
egnant
?
Me:Justmakel
ovet
ome,
wewi
l
ltal
kabout
t
hatlat
er.
Mi
ke:
Andshei
sback!
!!
!!
!
-
--
--
--
--
--
(
fol
l
owi
ngmor
ning)
Lastni ghtwasamazi ng,hesur elydidreassure
meofhi sl
ove.Vuyocamet ofetchMnqobi l
ast
nightandnowwehav ingbr eakfastwithjustthe
twinsandThabi sa, t
het winsseem t oloveher
becauseIcoul dn'tfeedt hem butshei sandshe
i
sabi tquiet.
Mikei ssocl ingyhei sirr
itati
ngme
now, ev ennowhesi ttingsocl oset omeIdon' t
knowwhet herit
st hebabyormay beher eall
y
mi ssedme.
Me: ThabiIwouldreall
ylovei
tifyoucoul
dvi
sit
mor eoft
ensot hatwecanal l
gettoknoweach
otherespeci
all
yy oursi
bli
ngstheyseem r
eal
l
y
fondofy ou.
Mi
ke:
Don'
tbet
oosur
e,shei
sCl
air
enumber2.
Ipl
ayf
ull
yhi
thi
m andweal
ll
augh
Thabi
sa:
Your
uini
ngmyr
eput
ati
ondad.
Me:Don'
tmi
ndhim,t
hisi
sy ourhomeandy
ou
cancomewhenev
eryoufeelli
keit
.
Thabi
sa:
Thanks,
butIdohavetogoIhavea
cl
assint
wohoursandIst
il
lneedtochange.
Me:
Alr
ightandIhav
eaname.
Thabi
sa:
Ican'tcal
lyoubyy
ourname,canIcall
youmom itwouldmakemef eel
bet
terbecause
yo.
..
.
Me:
Itsf
ine,
youcancal
lmemom .
Thabi
sa:
Okay,
l
etmer
equestauber.
ShetakesoutherphoneandIl
ookatMi
kewi
th
aquesti
oningeye.
Mike:
Takethekey
sont
hepot
chanddr
ivet
he
gr
eyAudi.
Thabi
sa:
Okay,
thanks,
bye.
Sheki
ssesthetwi
nsandl eaves.
Icl
eant
he
twi
nsupandclearthet
ableandhecomesto
hel
pmewi t
hthedishes,seewhatImeanby
bei
ngcli
ngyheneverdoest hi
s.
Mi
ke:
Thi
shousef
eel
sli
kehomeagai
n.
Me:Ihavethatki
ndofeff
ectonpeopl
e(l
aughs)
Iwastal
kingtoClai
rel
astweek.
Mi
ke:
Whatdi
dshesay
?
Thereisawayinwhichhesaidt
hatandIknowI
mustknowsomet hi
ngbecausetheyal
ways
team upagai
nstme.
Me:
Wasshesupposet
osaysomet
hing?
Mi
ke:
No
Me:Anyway,
shesay
sshehasbeenthi
nki
ng
andwantst
omakepeacewit
hherfat
her.
IswearI'
veneverjumpedthathighinmylif
e
,hedroppedal
l f
ivepl
ateshehadinhishands
.Whatthehell
justhappenedbecausehelooks
agi
tat
ed.
[
04/
27,
20:
03]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT42
Hequickl
ythatemotionasi
debuttoolat
e
becauseIal
readyknowsomethingisup.
Me:
whatdi
dyoudo?
Mi
ke:
not
hing
Iraisemyey ebrowsl
ooki
ngathim andhe
sighs,Idon'
tknowwhyhestil
lthi
nkshecanli
e
tomebecauseIcanseer ightthr
oughhim.
Mi
ke:
fi
ne,
l
etssi
tdownf
ir
st.
If
oll
owbehi
ndhimtot
heloungeandthet
wins
ar
eontheot
hersi
deofthesl
idi
ngdoor.
Mi
ke:
Ifoundwhowast
aki
ngmymoney
.
Me:
Who?
Iam aski
ngbutIknowwhoev
eri
twasi
s
al
readydead.
Mi
ke:
Promi
se.
Me:
Promi
sewho?Thathoeofy
our
s?
Mi
ke:
Cany oust
opwi
tht
her
efer
ral
s,y
est
hat
Pr
omise.
Me:
Wel
lIcan'
tsayI
'
m sad,
goodr
iddance.
Mi
ke:
Howdoy
ouknowshei
sdead?
Mi
ke:
Iknowmyhusband
Butsomet
hingst
il
ldoesn'
tmakesenset
ome.
..
.
Me:Howisthi
sinv
olv
edwitht
her
eact
iony
ou
hadwhenImenti
onedKagi
so.
?
Mi
ke:
Shewashi
scousi
n.
Il
ookathim wait
ingforhi
mt ot
ell
mehei
s
j
okingbuthelooksseri
ous.
Mike:Babyhewasnotremor
seful
aboutwhat
hedidtoyou,al
lthe"
apol
ogi
es"werepar
tof
thei
rplan.
Me:
Whatpl
an?
Mike:
Plant
odest
royus,
hewasbehindmy
ki
dnappi
ngandev
erythi
ngt
hathappenedt
her
e.
Me:
WHAT!!
!!
..
..
.wai
tKagi
soi
sinj
ail
howcanhe
dot
hat?
Mike:Wi t
hthehelpofcousin,sheknew
everyt
hingandhercomi ngher efaki
ngher
pregnancywasallpartoftheirplan,
they
wantedt odest
royourmar ri
ageandKagi sowas
rel
easedf r
om Jai
laweekbef oreyoulef
t.
If
eel
sostupidrightnow,howcanIbeli
evehis
st
upi
dact.Ishouldhaveknownthathewouldn'
t
l
etthi
sgoeasy.
Somet
hingqui
ckl
yrushes
t
hroughmymind.
Me:
Mikewher
eisKagi
so?
Hejustl
ooksatmeandsay snothi
ngbutthe
wayheisbrushinghi
spalmst oget
herconfi
rms
mythoughts.I
'
m nowst andi
nginfrontofhi
m
wi
thmyhandscov er
ingmyey es.
Me:
Mikeee!
!!
!
Mike: Sur
elyyoudi
dnotexpectmetohav
e
mer cyonamanwhoal mostdest
roy
edme
.SorryLil
ianbutt
herewasnowayIwasgoing
t
ol ethiml i
vetot
ell
thetal
e.
Honestl
yIcoul
dn'
tcarelessabouthisdeat
h
,mymai nworr
yisClai
re,whatdowesayt oher?
andIknowitwil
laf
fectMikeespecial
lyar
ound
Clai
re.
Mike:
Lil
i
ant
hatmanputmet
hroughhel
land
cameint
omyhouse.
Isi
tbakdownfaci
nghi
m andhei
smor
e
rel
axednow.
Me:
IknowandIdon'
tbl
amey
oubutmywor
ry
i
sClai
re.
Mi
ke:Idon'
tthi
nkIcanbeabl
etol
ookather
wi
thoutf
eel
inggui
lt
y.
Me: IknowbutMikeshecanneverknowi
twi
l
l
breakherconsi
deri
ngshewantedtomake
peace.
Mi
ke:
soy
ounotmad?
Me:Forwhat?Kagisowasmessedupandt he
f
actthathehadnointent
ionsofmaki
ngt
hings
r
ight,
hedeserv
edit.
Mi
ke:
Imeanhewasy
our
..
..
.youknow.
Me:I
nfactbecauseofall
thepai
nhecausedI
woul
dhavelovedtoki
llhi
m myself.
Mi
ke:
No,
younotki
l
li
ngpeopl
efor
geti
t.
Me:
Yousuchamoodki
l
ler.
Mi
ke:
Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou.
Me:
Real
l
y,what
?
Thisi
snew,heneverdoessurpr
isesbutIguess
heissof
teni
ngupwhichisnicebutIsti
l
lwant
theot
herser
ioussi
detohim.
Mi
ke:
Itsasur
pri
se.
Me:Ar
ggy oushoul
dhav ekepty
ourmout
hand
l
eti
tactual
lybeasurpr
ise.
Isayst
andi
ngupandhegr
absmyhandpul
l
ing
medownt ohi
slap.
Mi
ke:
Don'
ttel
lmey
oumad?
Si
l
ence
Mi
ke:
MaDi
mba?
Si
l
ence
Mike:Ihearpr
egnantwomanhav
ereal
l
ywei
rd
cr
avings?
Ikeeponi
gnor
inghi
m andIf
eel
hishandgoi
ng
i
nsidemydressandIstophim,
myv
agi
nai
s
st
il
lbur
ningfr
om lastni
ght
.
Me:
MhhnoIcan'
ttakey
ourdi
ckr
ightnow.
Hewasaboutt orespondbuthi sphonedi sturbs
him, Igetupandcheckupont hekidsbutIcan
seehi m standi
ngupshout i
ngandswear i
ng
whi chshockedmebecausehehat esthat.He
dropst hecallandhel ooksangr yandfrustr
ated
theregoesourdayt ogether.Itur
nt opay
attentiontohim butheisalreadyatt hedoor .
Mi
ke:
Ihav
etogosomewher
e,st
ayher
e.
Justlikethathei sgoneIjusthopeev er
ythi
ngis
okaybecauset hatl
ookonhi sf acewasnot
convincing.Ifi
nishti
dingupt hekitchenandI
am notbot heredatallbyKagi so'
sdeat hitj
ust
fazesmehowf arhishatredreachedasi fhe
wast hev i
ctiminallthi
s.Itsbeent wohour s
sinceMi keleftandIdon'tknowwhybutImi ss
himandi tdoesn'thelpthatI'
m allaloneinthi
s
housebecausethetwinsaretakinganap.I
text
edNandiawhi l
ebackandshesai dshewas
onherwayandIt oldhertobuysomesnacks
onthewaybecauset hi
shousei semptyand
toni
ghtwewillhaveworldwar3becauseI'm
order
ingpi
zzaandMi keloveshishomecooked
meals.
?
??:
Theghostoft
ownhasr
etur
ned.
It
urnar
oundandembr
aceNandi
inahug,
I
missmyfr
iend.
Me:
Secur
it
y?
Nandi
:I'
m ar
egul
arher
eso,
Mikeknockedy
ou
upagai
n?
Ilaughatherst
atementandwet
aket
hesnacks
tothelounge.
Nandi
:WHer
ear
emybabi
es?
Me:Mnqobi
iswi
thVuy
o,Thet
winsar
etaki
ng
anap.
Nandi
:Mi
kescor
esaccur
atel
y,howl
ong?
Me:
Real
l
y?Al
most4.
Nandi
:Soy
out
woar
eokay
?
Me:YesIf
orgav
ehi
m butheknowst
hisi
sthe
l
astti
me.
Nandi
:Mi
keshoul
dthankhi
sancest
ors.
Me:
Why?
Nandi:
Theoldy
ouwoul
dhavebeatt
heheck
outofhim,
hewoul
dhav
escarsal
lover
.
Me:
(laughs)Iwoul
dhav
ebutwegr
owr
ight.
Nandi
:Thest
epdaught
er?
Me:Sheisact
ual
lyni
ce,It
houghtshewoul
d
t
hosetypeofgi
rl
sbutsheiscool.
Wekeptt al
ki
ngaboutrandom t
hingsbutIcoul
d
tel
lsomethi
ngwasonhermi ndandt hi
sis
exactl
ywhatIhat
eaboutNandi ,
sheisalways
hereformeandmyi ssuesbutsheneverlet
s
meinonher
s.Shegul
psdownaglassofwi
ne
,howIwi
shIcanbeherr
ightnow.
Nandi
:Sohowdoy
oust
il
lkeepi
tpoppi
ng?
Me:
Keppwhatpoppi
ng?
Nandi
:Youknow.
..
inbed.
Me:
What?
Nandi:
ArggLil
i
anst
opbei
ngsosl
ow,
thi
sis
di
ff
icul
talr
eady.
Me:
Whati
s?
Nandi
:Hedoesn'
tgethar
d,Ihav
en'
thadan
or
gasm i
n4mont hs.
IswearIal
mostburstoutl
aughi
ngbutI
contai
nedi
tbecauseIcanseethi
sistr
oubl
ing
herassheshoul
dbecauseIcanneverdeal
with
that
.
Me:
Wow,
not
hingatal
l?
Nandi
:That
'
swhati
'
m say
ing.
Me:
Didy
out
ell
him?
Nandi
:No,
heget
shi
sbutIgetnot
hing.
Me:
Soy
ouf
akei
t?
Nandi
:Whatchoi
cedoIhav
e,Idon'
twantt
o
hur
thi
sfeel
ings.
Ithi
nknowist
heper
fectt
imet
othankGodf
or
bl
essingmewit
hamanwhoknowshis
busi
ness.
Me:Haveyout
ri
eddi
ff
erentposi
ti
onsmay
be
t
hatwil
lhel
p.
Nandi
:Whatposi
ti
ons?
Il
ookatherconf
used.
Me:
Youknow,
beont
op,
missi
onar
y,bl
owj
ob?
Nandi
:What
!!
!!
NoIdon'
tdobl
owj
obs.
OhhmyGodwhatpl
aneti
sshel
i
vingi
n?
Me:Nandi
tel
lme,
whatposi
ti
onsdoy
ou
usual
l
yuse?
Nandi
:Nor
mal
one,
ori
ginal
.
Me:
Ont
op,
al
lthet
ime?
Nandi
:Yes
Me:
Hasheev
erwentdownony
ou?
Nandi
:Hewant
edt
obutIf
eltuncomf
ort
abl
e.
Lungamustr
eal
l
ylov
eherbecausei
fthatwas
Mikehewoul
dhaver
analongti
meago.
Me:Myf r
iendno, sometimesy ouhavetospi ce
t
hingsup,lethim eati
t,r
idehim andallothers
,y
oucan'texpectt osati
sfyhim andyourselfby
j
ustlay
ingt her
e.Thisisnotthe18thcentury.
Nandi
:Idon'
tknowhowt
odot
hoset
hings.
Me:Fir
stlytel
lhim sothathecanhelpyouout
andexplorewithyou,secondlyyoumyfri
end
havealotofpor ntowatchsoy oucanseewhat
agoodsexl if
eisli
kenott hi
sgrannythi
ngof
your
s.
Nandi
:Thi
sisembar
rassi
ng.
Me:Justt
alkt
ohim andwhoknowsi
nnot
ime
youwil
lbeafr
eakli
keme.
Nandi
:Li
l
ian!
!!
!!
!
Me:What
!!
!!
List
enIl
oveMikebuthissexgame
i
swhatmakesmestayeveryt
ime.Youneedto
bef
uckednj
ewenanothi
ngelse.
Nandi
:That
'
sitIam notl
i
steni
ngt
oyou.
Me:(l
aughs)Comeon,
theki
tcheni
sver
yni
ce
ener
gizi
ng.
Shest
andsupgr
abbi
ngherst
uff.
Nandi
:Youar
edisgust
ing,
yourchi
l
dreneati
n
t
here!
!!
!(
wal
ksaway)
Me:
Youwi
l
lthankl
atert
hough.
SheleavesandIam sti
l
l l
eftinst
it
ches.Thi
sis
anabomi nati
on,
howisitthatagrownass
womanwi t
hachil
dissocl uel
essaboutsex,I
betClai
reknowsmor ethanshedoes.Thedoor
swingsopenanditsThabisaandshelooks
wor
ri
ed.
Me:
Whati
sgoi
ngon?
Thabi
sa:
Dadsai
dImustdr
opev
ery
thi
ngand
comeher
eimmedi
atel
y.
Me:
That
'sst
rangebecausehei
snotev
en.
..
..
Iam dist
urbedbymyphoneandit
'sMikecal
li
ng
,whenIpickupheisbr
eathi
ngheavi
lyli
keheis
runni
ng.
Mike:"Babyli
stenanddoex act l
ywhatIt elly
ou
now,someonei sbr i
ngi
ngMnqobi back,whenhe
doesIwanty outotakeallt
heki dsi mmedi atel
y
andgot omyof fi
ce.Movethebookshel veand
behinditthere'
sadoorwi thapasscodeof
whichi syourbirt
hday,puti
nt hepasswor dand
goinsidetherewi t
hthekidsandgot hought he
passaget here,someonewillbet heretot ake
you,leaveyourphonewher ey ouar er i
ghtnow
okay. "
Iam br
eat
hinghar
dbutbef
oreIcoul
daskhe
dropsthecal
l
,whati
sgoi
ngonher
ebutIhav
e
tofocusanddowhathetel
l
sme.
Me:Thabi
sagetthetwinsinthei
rroom andgo
st
rai
ghttoyourf
ather
sof f
ice.
Sher ushesupst air
sandaf teraf ewmi nutes
Mnqobi comesi nbutIdon' tseewhodr opped
him offandhei scompl ainingIdon' tknow
aboutwhatbutr ightmymi ndi sonwhati '
m
supposet odo.Ipul lhishandandwebot hgot o
theof fi
ceandThabi sai sal readyt herewi t
hthe
twins,mybabi esar est il
l sleepy .
Imov et he
shelveandpr esst hepasswor dandt hedoor
open, Itel
ltheki dstogoi nf i
rstthenIf ollow
,Mnqobi keepsaski ngwher ewegoi ngandI
alsodonotknow. Wer eachanopenr oom wi t
h
couches, fri
dgeandat el ev i
si onset,Whatt he
helli
st hisandwhydi dn'tIknowoft hispar tof
thehouse. Theki dsgr abt hesnacksont he
tablebutThabi salooksscar edIwi shIcoul d
comf ortherbutI '
m cluel essasshei s.Agr oups
ofguy
swalki
nandIimmedi atel
yshieldal
lmy
ki
dsandoneguygi
vesmet hephonesay i
ng
bossi
sonthel
ine,
I
'm guessingthatisMike.
Mike:
"BabyIknowy oufumingbutIwil
lexpl
ain
ever
ythi
ngl at
er.
thosethoseguyswil
ltakey
ou
andthekidstoasafeplacedon'
tfi
ghtthem
,youcanfightmelater.
"
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Ihearalotofshuf
fl
ingandgunshot
smyhear
t
star
tsraci
ng.
Mi
ke:
"Ihav
etogo,
Il
ovey
ouLy
nn"
HehangsupandI'
ml eftworr
ied,
whati
nthe
worl
disgongonandt hosegunshot
s"Pl
ease
keephi
m saf
eLord"
Isayt
hatshor
tpr
ayeri
nsi
de.
Man:
Mam wehav
etogo.
Inodmyheadandtheygrabt
hekiddi
rect
ingus
tothebl
ackcarwi
thti
ntedwi
ndowsatthedoor
andweal
lgeti
nsi
de,
Isi
tnextt
oThabi
sa.
Thabi
sa:
Whati
sgoi
ngonMa?
Me:
Idon'
tbaby.
[
04/
27,
20:
04]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT43
It
sbeenahoursi ncewear ri
vedi nthishouse
andit'
sav erybeaut i
ful housebutwi thguards
ateveryanglebutnoneoft hatmat terstome
mywor ryisMi ke,whet herornothei sokayor
whatbutf urt
hermor ethi sisconf usi
ngme
becauseIt houghthel ef tt
heuni tsowhati st
his
all
about.Whenwear rivedher eoneoft hebody
guardsaskedmet owr iteal i
stofev eryt
hingI
need,whichi spracti
callyev erythingbecause
wehav enof oodorcl ot hesbuthesai dhewi l
l
manage. WhenIaskedhi m aboutMi kehesaid
heknowsnot hi
ngbutIknowhei sl
y ing.The
kidsareokaywel lexceptThabi sa,Imeanshei s
notnaiv east heyoungonesshecandef i
nit
ely
senset hatsomet hingisgoingonbutIt hinkshe
i
sscar edt oaskmewhi chisact ual
lygoodf or
mebecauseIdon' tknowei ther.Thishousehas
actuall
ybeenmadef orusf orawhi l
ebecause
thetwinsandMnqobi '
sr oom isdecor at
ed
exactl
yasi ti
sinourhouse, sor i
ghtnowt hey
sleepi
ngandThabi saisinherr oom t ooandI
am justtryingtomakesenseofal l
t his,
all
thesesecr eti
veplacesIknownot hingabout.
(
doorknock)
Ihopethatist
heguybackfr
om shopping
becauseIneedtomakesomefoodf ortheki
ds
butwhenIopenit'
sThabi
saandshel ooks
morerelaxednow.
Thabi
sa:
MacanIt
alkt
oyou?
Me:
Sur
e,comei
n.
Iwal
kbacki
nmybedandshesi
tsatt
heendof
i
t.
Thabi
sa:
Whatdoesdaddof
oral
i
ving?
SomehowIknewt
hatquest
ionwascomi
ng.
Me:
Hei
sthebusi
nessi
ndust
ry,
mor
eli
keme.
Thabi
sa:
Businessmandonothav
ethei
r
famil
i
estar
geted?
Me:
Whosai
dany
thi
ngaboutusbei
ngt
arget
ed?
Thabi
sa:
Iam notstupi
d,al
ltheseguardswi
th
bi
ggunssur
roundingthi
swhol ehouse.
Therewassomeat
ti
tudei
nherv
oiceandr
oll
of
eyes.
Me:Welly
ouar
eify
ouar
egoi
ngt
ohav
ean
at
ti
tudewit
hme.
Thabisa:
I'
m sor
ryi
fIcameacr
osslikethatbut
I
'm notusedtot
hese,t
hisi
snovacati
on.we
runni
ng,i
sDadacriminal
?
Me:Yourdadisnotacri
minalbuti
fyouli
ket
o
quest
ionhi
sintegr
it
ysomemor edoitt
ohim.
Shest andsupsandl eav esandI '
ml eftstunned
,Igetthatt hi
sisf r
ustratingt oherandshei s
probablyscaredbutIdi dn'tputheri nt his
positi
on, herfatherdidandj ustmay beIquickl
y
j
udgedherchar act
ertoosoon. Aknockagai nat
thedoorandi twasnot ifi
cat i
ont hattheguy
whowentshoppi ngwasbackt hankGod
becausei fIstaydoingnot hingint hi
shouseI
willl
osemymi nd.Iwalkdownst ai
rsandt he
guywasunpacki ngthegr ocer i
esandf rom t
he
backf ewhel ookedmi ght yhotImustgi vehim
credi
tf orthat.
Me:
Hi!
!
Heturnedaroundandimmediatelyl
ookeddown
okaythat'
sweirdbecauseal
lofthem whenthey
tal
ki
ngt omeori ft
heyseemet heyl
ookdown.
Guy
:Hi
mam.
Me:Whati
syournameandwhyar
eyoul
ooki
ng
down?
Guy:MynameisNcebamam,
andwenot
al
lowedt
olookatyou.
Idon'tevenneedtoaskwhogav ethem t
hat
order,Mikenevershowshi
sinsecuri
ti
esbutI
doknowhehast hem andt
hisisaprime
exampl eofthat.
Me:Nceba,
okayl
ookyourbossisnother
eso
youwi
lll
ookatmewhenItalkt
oy ou.
Nceba:
Idon'
twantt
oloosemyj
obmam.
Me:
Youwil
lnotl
oosey
ourjob,
andst
opwi
th
t
he"mam"t
hingmynameisLil
i
an.
Nceba:
Alr
ightf
ine,
butwhent
hebossi
sar
ound
I
'l
ldowhathesaid.
Me:
Cool
then,
thecl
othes?
Nceba:Al
li
nthebags,
IhadhelpthoughIknow
not
hingaboutwoman'
scl
othes.
Me:Tr
ustmeyounottheonl
yone,besi
desit
won'
tmatt
eri
tsnotl
i
kewegoi nganywhere.
Hel
ookedatmeandsmi ledabitnowt hats
moreli
keit,al
lthisguar
dsl ookhor
ri
blewi t
h
t
hei
rgrinsitmakesy ouev enuncomfortabl
e
wal
kingaroundt hem.
Nceba:
Alr
ightt
hen,
Ihav
etogobackt
omydut
y
.
Me:
Bef
orey
ougo,
wher
eisMi
ke?
Nceba:
Wecannotdi
scl
oset
hat.
Me:
PleaseIj
ustwantt
oknowi
fhei
sokay
?
Nceba:Li
l
ianpl
ease,
youmaki
ngmebr
eakal
l
t
herules.
Me:Well
ifyoudon'
ttel
lme,
Iwi
l
ltel
lhi
m about
youbr
eakingt
herul
es.
IknowwhatI'm doi
ngiswrongbutIneedto
knowhewi l
lj
usthavetoforgi
veme.He
brushedhi
sheadcontemplati
ngonwhetherto
tel
lmeornotbuthedoesn'
treal
l
yhav
ea
choice.
Nceba:
Iam notsur
eabouthim bei
ngfi
ne,
but
heisst
il
li
nJohannesbur
g.Iknownothi
ngel
se.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanJobur
g?Wher
ear
ewe?
Nceba:NowIdon'
tcar
eify
out
ell
him butIam
nott
ell
i
ngyouthat
.
Hesai dleaving,
nowt hi
sexplainswhyIfel
l
asleepont hecaraft
ertheygav eusdri
nks,t
hey
wer eprobablydr
ugged.Iam goi ngt
okil
lMike
honestly,ImeanIam pregnantIcannotbe
druggedwi thwhatevert
heydr uggedmewith
andIknowi twashisorder.
Il
ookbackandNcebawasst
andi
ngatt
hedoor
.
Nceba:
Andohh,adoct
ori
scomi
ngt
ocheckup
onyoutomor
row.
Great!
!!j
ustwhatIneed.If
eel
usel
esshere
,ever
ythi
ngisdecidedformeandIj
usthavet
o
f
oll
owt
heor
der.

-
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
--
Ihardlyhadanysl eepl astnightbuthowcoul dI
whenIdon' tevenknowwher emyhusbandi s.I
don'tknowhowmanyt i
mesIwokeupi nthe
middleoft henightandpr ayedIreall
yhopehe
i
sokay .
Thekidsar eal lsi
tti
ngi nthet
ableeati
ng
breakfastandI'
mr eallynothungr ybutIhaveto
eatformybaby. Ncebahasn' tcomei nyet
whichIdoubthewi llafterIputhimi nthefi
ri
ng
l
iney ester
dayandt hecl othesareactuall
yokay
andheknewal loursi zesdon' taskmehow
becauseIhav enoi dea.
Mnqobi
:Thi
sisournewhome?
Me:
No,
wej
ustv
isi
ti
ng.
Mnqobi
:Il
i
kei
ther
e,Ihav
emyownTvand
games.
NowIdon'
tknowwhatMikewast hi
nking
put
ti
ngaTvinhi
sroom butifwegoingtost
ay
her
eforal
ongti
methatwill
havetochange.
Me:Mnqobi
wenay
oul
i
keanyhouset
hati
s
new.
Mnqobi
:NoIdon'
t.
Me:
mhhh
Thabisa:
Ihav
eTesti
naweek,
howl
ongar
ewe
st
ayinghere?
Irel
easedasi ghbecauseIcanseet hatthe
atti
tudeisstil
lther
e,sheisnotevenlooki
ngat
mebutshei stalki
ngtome. Mikehadbetter
sortwhat ev
erthisisbecauseIwil
lsoonlose
mypat iencewiththischi
ld.
Me:
Youwi
l
lwr
ighty
ourt
est.
Weconti
nuedeati
ngandIclear
edthetabl
e
washi
ngthedi
sheswhilet
hekidswereinthei
r
newplay
room whi
chtheyseem t
oenjoy.
Iam
notgoi
ngtoenter
tai
nThabisabutIhopeshe
l
oosestheat
ti
tudeandifnotsheandIare
goi
ngtohaveaproblem .
I'
m nowi
nmyr oom justlayi
ngont hebed
,maybeIneedtobedr uggedagainsothatIcan
sl
eepbecauseIjustcan'
tseem toclosemy
eyes.
Iwalki ntothecl osettochangeintomore
comf ortableclothesbecauset hi
sjeanis
actuall
yr ubbingmet hewrongwaybutIst opat
thetracksofmyst epswhenIwal koutand
foundMi kesitt
ingont hebedlookingatme. I
didn'
tknowwhet hertojumpathi m orki
llhi
s
assbutonet hinkIdi dwastot hankGodforit,
I
j
ustst oodt heref ol
dingmyar ms.
Mi
ke:
Comeher
e.
Me:
Whati
sgoi
ngon,
wher
edi
dyoucomef
rom?
Mi
ke:Cany
oustopwi
tht
hei
nter
rogat
ions,
I
mi
ssedmywif
e.
Me:No, Iam notgoingtost
op.Taki
ngmykids
fr
om theirhomet oaplaceIdon'
tknow,
al
lthese
guar
ds,It houghtyoul
eftt
heunit?
Hest andsupandapproachesme,Idon'
tknow
whyal loft
hesuddenIam gett
ingangry.
He
grabsmyhandandpul lsmeintoahugandI
don'thughim backANDHEFORCES.
Me:
Stop!
!!Ineedanswer
s.
Mike:
Andyouwil
lgett
hem ,
butcomeonIj
ust
wantahugorki
ss.
Me:
Fine
Istoodonmytoesandkissedhi
m andhe
pickedmeupbri
dalst
yleandputmeonthebed
.
Mike:
Ithadnothi
ngtodowi
tht
heUni
t,
Itwas
t
hedrugbusiness.
Me:
What
!!
Mi
ke:
Ther
eisawarbet
weencont
act
sandI
'
m
al
socaughti
nthemiddl
eofitbecauset
hey
bur
nedmywholedrughouse.
Me:
Sowhatnow?
Mike:Nowitswarandit
sgetti
ngpersonal
henceIdon'twanty
outher
e,because
apparent
lyIam t
heenemy.
Me:
Howl
ongwi
l
litbe?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknowbuti
wil
lsor
titout.
Me:
Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
ou.
Mike:Iknowbaby
,Iwi
l
lfi
xthi
s.Tomor
rowIam
l
eavingagai
n.
Me:
Mike!
!!
!!
!!
Mike:Ihav
eto,Ijustwant
edtocomeseei
fyou
guysareokay
.Pleasedon'
tsul
k.
Me:Iam not,i
tsjustt
hatIwantt
hist
oal
lend
i
ncl
udingthatdrugbusiness.
Mi
ke:
Trustme,
Ial
sowantt
hatbuty
ouknow
t
her
easonbehi
ndi
t.Howar
etheki
ds?
Me:Theyarefi
ne,infacttheyl
iket
hishouse
buty
oureldestdaughternotsomuch.
Mi
ke:
Whathappened?
Me:Atti
tudef
orone,
andsheaskedi
fyouar
ea
cr
iminal.
Mike:
I'
llt
alkt
oher,
al
ltheseshal
lbeov
eri
na
f
ewday s.
Me:
Good,
Iwantt
ogobackt
omyhouse.
Mi
ke:Thatmi
ghtbeaprobl
em,
thehousei
sa
messtheydi
dgother
e.
Me:
Great
!!
!
Mi
ke:
Howar
eyou?Icanseey
oudi
dn'
tsl
eep.
Me:Icoul
dn't,
Iwasworri
edaboutyou.
Be
car
efult
hereall
thosebul
let
sgazi
ng.
Mike:
I'l
lal
way sbe,Ihaveafami
l
ytocome
backto.
Iactuall
ythoughty
ouweregoi
ngt
oki
l
l
me.
Me:
Ist
il
lcan
Hel aughedandmov edupont hebedlay
ingon
hissidemakingmel aynexttohim.
Iam glad
thatheisokaybutthefactthathest
il
lhasto
gobackwor r
iesme.Heputshishandsonmy
tummyr ubbi
ngit.
Me:
Andher
eIt
houghty
oumi
ssedme.
Mi
ke:
Yousoj
eal
ous,
Ican'
twai
ttomeethi
m.
Me:
Whosai
dit
saboy
?
Mike:I
thastobe,I'
m suf
focat
ingwi
thal
lthe
oestr
ogeninthi
sfamily.
Me: Promisemeyouwil
lbeokay,
Icannotr
aise
yourrascalsonmyown.
Mi
ke:
Stopwor
ryi
ng,
Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
Me:
Promi
se?
Mi
ke:
Youwor
ryi
ngmenow,
Ipr
omi
se.
Idon'
tknowwhyIwassoemot i
onalbutIcan'
t
hel
pthefeel
i
ngthatsomet
hingwil
lgowr ong.
[
04/
27,
20:
04]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT44
Li
l
ian
Ithasbeenaweeksi nceMi kel eftandIhav e
notheardany t
hingfrom him butIhav efai
th
thatheisalri
ghtwher eeverhei s.Thatmor ni
ng
heleftwhil
ewhi l
eIwasst i
llsleepingandsai d
hewi l
lbeokayandIj usthav et obelieveit
.Everyt
hingwithushasbeenokaybutt his
placesti
llf
eelsuncomf ort
abl ewi thallt
hese
guards.Iam inthekitchenmaki nglunchf or
thekidsandasmuchaswear esaf eherethis
needstostopbecauset hi
sisaf fect
ingthekids
schoolworkal r
eadyThabi saist hrowing
tantr
umsal lover.
Iraisemyey esasshecomes
downstair
sandpassesmet ogotot hefr
idge
notmindingthatIam ri
ghti
nf r
ontofher.
Inever
bel
ievedinputti
nghandsonmychi ldrenbutI
swearifshewasmydaught erIwouldsmacked
heralongtimeagobecauseherat ti
tudesti
nks
anditsquit
esurpri
singbecausewhenMi kewas
hereshewasokay.
Me:
Whathappenedt
ogr
eet
ing?
Sheclosest
hefri
dgeandl
ooksatmeand
walksawaybutshetur
nsbackt
aki
ngasi
pof
herwater.
Thabi
sa:
SoIf
igur
edmoneyi
snoti
t.
Me:
Notwhat?
Ihonest
lydonotunder
standwhyIam ev
en
enter
tai
ningher.
Thabi
sa:Thereasony
oumar
ri
edt
omydad,
so
whatwasit?
Ist
oppedwhatIwasdoi
ngandl
ookedather.
Me:
Excuseme?
?
Thabisa:Webot hknowy ounotmar
ri
edhim
becausey oulov
ehi m,what?Youwerel
ooking
forafatherfi
gurefory
ourkids?
Iam goingt
okillt
hischi
ld,howdareshe
disr
espectmelikethat.
Icanfeel
myanger
buil
dingupbecauseIam tryi
ngmybesttonot
ki
ckherass.
Me:Andinyourconclusionst
hatyoucameup
wi
th,yout
hinkyourfatherist
hebestfi
gur
efor
mykids?
Thabi
sa:Imeani
tsbet
terthanthem bei
ng
fat
her
lesspl
ushecanaffordt
hem.
Me: OkayIthinkIent
ertainedthisforlong
,li
stenhereyoungladyIhav emyownmoney
andcanaf fordmychi l
drenincl
udingy our
fathersandmyki dshavet hei
rfathersandy ou
comi nghereacti
ngli
key ouknowev erythi
ng
wheny ouknownothingaboutmymar ri
aget o
yourfatheri
sget
ti
ngonmynervesandIam
closetoloosi
ngmypati
ence.
YouandIarenot
fr
iendsnorareweequal
sandIdonotowey ou
anyreasonsonwhyImarri
edyourf
ather.
Itookt hepl ateswi tht hekidsl unchandheaded
upst ai
rsandgav ethem t heirfoodandwentt o
l
ockmysel finmyr oom ,Iam cr y i
ngIdon' teven
knowwhydamnt hesest upidhor monesIneed
Mi ketosor tthi
st hingoutandt akehi s
ungr atefuldaught eroutofmysi ght.Imar ried
Mi kebecauseIl ov ehi m,yeshei sanass
somet i
mesbutIl ov ehi m anIhav eputupwi t
h
allhismessi ngupandhav eal way sbeent her
e
tosuppor thim. Arggggwhyam Iev en
validatingmysel ftot hischildgames, she
knowsnot hingaboutmeorwhatIhav ebeen
throughwi thMi ke. Thereisaknockont hedoor
andIwi pemyt ear stogoopeni tandi t
st he
kidsMnqobi i
nthef rontandt heyl etthemsel ves
i
nr unningt othebed. Mnqobi climbst ot hebed
hel
pinghi
sbrot
herupandIpi
ckNel
iandput
heronthebed.
Me:
Andt
hen?
IaskMnqobiwi
thmyhandsonmywai standI
knowhewill
havesomesmartanswerforme.
Mnqobi
:Wemi
ssedy
ou,
sowet
aki
nganap
wi
thyou.
Me:
Whosai
dIwast
aki
nganap?
Mnqobi
:Wel
lnowy
ouar
e(l
aughi
ng)
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
oul
aughi
ngat,
Mov
e.
Hemov esandSiy
alaysnextt
ohim andIl
ayon
mysideandimmediatel
yNeli
lay
sonmychest
,j
esusandther
egoesmypeaceandqui et
becauset
heyarebusytal
ki
ngandIjustwantt
o
sl
eep.
-
--
--
--
--
--
--
Isl
owlyopenmyey
esf
rom t
hehar
dknocki
ng
onthedoor.
Me:
I'
m comi
ng!
!!
!
Itr
ytositupbutNel i
isont opofme, Icarefull
y
l
ayheront hebedandshehashert humbi nher
mouthandt hesetwoot herrascal
sar elayingall
overthebedSiya'
sheadi satt heendoft hebed
,t
hesekidsmar a(
Ilaughslightly)
.If
ixmyt op
andopent hedoorandi t
sNcebawhi chi sa
surpr
isebecauseIhav enotseenhi m sincet hat
daywear r
ivedhere.
Me:
Ohhwow,
youst
il
lar
ound.
Nceba:
Mam ,
CanIt
alkt
oyou?
Me:
Okay.
Ist
epoutsi
demyr oom andl
ookathi
m wai
ti
ng
tohearwhat
everhehastosay.
Nceba:Ihavejustr
ecei
vedacall
from t
he
boss'
sfatherandweneedtotakeyouguys
backhome.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Nceba:
Itmeansy
ougoi
ngbackhome.
Me:
Theki
ngcal
l
edy
ou?
..
..
.wai
twher
eisMi
ke?
Nceba:
Idon'
tknow,al
lIknowi
swhatwewer
e
t
oldwhichi
stobri
ngyoubackhome.
Me:Mikesai
dhewasgoi
ngt
ocomef
etchus
sowherei
she?
Nceba:
Thepl
anewi
l
ltakeof
fin30mi
nut
es.
Hesai dwalkingawayandatthi
smomental ot
i
sgoi ngthr
oughmymi ndbutIdon'
thaveti
me
f
orthat.Iwal kbacktomyroom andwake
Mnqobi upandhewakesupcompl ai
ningbut
I
'm usedtot hat.
Wedon'thaveti
metopacknot
t
hatthereisany thi
ngtopack.
Me:
Goputy
ourshoesonandbr
ingt
het
wins
t
hei
rs.
IwalktoThabisa'
sroom andIj
ustbar
gein
wit
houtknockingandsheisaboutt
osay
somethingbutIcutherof
f.
Me:Takewhatev
ery
ouneed,
wel
eav
ingi
n20
mi
nutes.
Iwalkoutandgotot heki
tchenandpacked
somesnacksandf oodforthekidsbecausethi
s
ti
mewepr obablywon'tbedruggedtosleepand
Iknowmyki dseatalot.
Nceba:
Wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Me:
Inmyr
oom .
Hewalksupandi
nlesst
hant
womi nut
esheis
backhol
dingt
het
winsandMnqobi
behindt
hem
.
Nceba:
Iwi
l
lputt
hem i
nthecar.
Me:
Okay.
Thebr atwal
ksdownandwal ksouttothecar
,goodbecauseifshespit
ssomethingoutof
hermout hIwil
lnotbehel
dresponsibl
eformy
react
ion.
If
ini
shpacki
ngt
hef
oodst
afff
ort
heki
dsandI
walkoutt
othecarandfunnyenoughallt
hose
guardsar
enolongerher
e.Igeti
nsideandthe
carl
eaves.
(
fewhour
slat
er)
Wehav earr
ivedbackinJohannesbur gbutit
s
l
atebecausei t
sdarkoutsideandIdon'tknow
wherewegoi ngbecausewhoev erisdri
vi
ngthis
cari
sdriv
ingi nadi
recti
onIdonotknowbutI
guesswegoi ngtoanewhousesi ncethe
previ
ousonewasdest royed.Thekidsare
sl
eepingi
ncludingmissbrat.
Man:
Mam wehav
ear
ri
ved.
Il
ookoutsi
deandwearei
nfr
ontofahospi
tal
,whatt
hehell
isgoi
ngon.
Me:
Wehav
ear
ri
ved?Thi
sisahospi
tal
?
Man:
Iwast
oldt
odr
opy
ouher
e.
Iwasaboutt
orespondwhenIsawMar i
aand
Mart
hacomingoutofthehospi
tal
exi
t.Iopened
t
hedoorandwal
kedout
.
Mar
ia:
OhhLi
l
ian(
huggi
ng)
Me:
Whatam Idoi
ngi
nthehospi
tal
?
Mar
tha:
Let
staket
heki
dsoutoft
hecar.
Theybot hgrabeachofthet winswakingup
Mnqobi andThabisaandt heywalkinsidebutI
am walkingbehindthem andsuddenl yIstar
t
breathi
ngfastmay besomet hi
nghappenedt o
Mike'sdadbecauseMar ialooksstressedbut
whywoul dtheycomet othishospital.
Ifi
nall
y
catchupt othem andIseeJessicaandKhay a
si
ttingdownt oo.Mari
agivesNel i
toJess.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
ansi
tdown,
somet
hinghappened.
Me:
Iam notsi
tt
ingdown,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Mar
ia:
Mikewasi
njur
ed.
Ipopmyey
esoutIam nowpani
cki
ng.
Me:
Isheokay
?wher
eishe?whathappened?
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
andon'
tcr
y,he.
..
.
Idi
dn'
tev
enreal
i
seIwasnowcryi
ngbutr
ight
nowIam onmytoeswi
thwor
ry.
Mari
a:WhewwahhheisinICU,
hecan'
tbr
eat
he
onhi
sownandthedoctor
shavenohope.
Myhear tsankwhenshesaidthatandItouched
mychestbecauseIwasf eel
ingcongestedI
coul
dn'tbreat
hproperl
yandmysi ghtwas
fadi
ngaway, Ihel
dont ot
hechairnextt
ome
andIcouldhearthem cal
l
ingoutmynamebutI
wasloosingmybr eat
hemoreandi twasli
ghts
outforme.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT45
Myheadfeel
sli
kei
tsspi
nni
ng,i
tspai
nful
.I
openmyeyesandmymemor yqui
ckl
ycomes
backt hatIam i
nthehospit
albutnooneisi
n
thisroom butnoneofthatmatt
ersmymai n
prior
ityri
ghtnowisMike.Thesunisalr
eadyout
meani ngitsmorni
ngsoIpassedoutthewhole
night.
Dr
:Ohhwel
comeback!
!
Me:
Hi,
doct
orwhathappened?
It
rytosi
tupandhehel
psmebyput
ti
nga
pi
ll
owbehindme.
Dr:Youpassedoutaft
errecei
vingnewsabout
yourhusband,andIsedatedyoufort
hewhole
night.
Me:
Why
?
Dr:Yourst
ressl
evel
iswayupandt hatwas
goi
ngt oaff
ectt
hebabyyoucar
ryi
ngsoIput
youtorest.
Me:
Ohhokay,
thebabyi
sokayt
hough?
Dr
:Yeahi
tis.
Me:
Ineedt
oseemyhusband!
Dr
:Letmecal
lyourmot
herout
side.
HeleftandIam assumi
ngbymotherhemeans
Maria,af
teraf
ewmi nut
esshecameinand
stuf
fedmei nahugandIhadnochoicebutt
o
hugherback.
Mar
ia:
Youscar
edme!
!
Me:
Iam f
inenow,
wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Mar
ia:
Jesst
ookt
hem t
oherhouse.
Me:
CanIseeMi
ke?
Mari
a:Theyar
esti
ll
runni
ngsomet
est
son
hi
m,maybelat
eron.
Me:Ohh,
yousai
dsomet
hingabouthi
m bei
ng
onl
i
fesuppor
t?
Mari
a:Don'
tcry
,yesheisandIdon'
tknowi
fhe
canmakeit.
Heisr eal
l
ybad.
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sof
fandt
hisi
shar
dtodi
gest
butshedoesn'
tevenl
ooksadmay beshehas
acceptedt
hatshemayloosehersonbutIam
notreadyt
oloosemyhusband.
Me:Hecan'
tleav
eme,
hecan'
tIcannotr
aise
t
hischi
l
dalone.
Mari
a:Iam sohappyy
ougi
vi
ngmeanot
her
gr
andchil
d.
Me:Hesaidhewasgoi
ngt
osor
tthi
soutbut
nothi
m bei
nghur
t.
Mar
ia:
Wel l
thatwasbef
orehedeci
dedt
obe
t
hehero.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Mari
a:Inst
eadoffi
ghti
ngthepeopl
ewho
at
tackedonhim,hechosetogokil
lWal
ker.
Me:What
??Walkert
hemanwhoputhiminthe
dr
ugbusi
ness?Whatthehel
lwashet
hinki
ng?
Mari
a:Calm down,y
esandhedidki
llhim and
hi
speoplebutofcausehewasnotgoingtoget
outoft
her
einonepi
ece.
Me:Whywouldhebesostupi
d,nowwhat?He
i
slay
ingi
nhisdeadbed.
Mar
ia:
Igetwhyhedi
dbuti
twasnotwor
thi
t.
Me:
Idon'
t,
whatIknowi
shepr
obabl
yputusi
n
mor
edanger.
Mari
a:Wewillcr
ossthatbr
idgewhenweget
t
here,
butIguesshi
sintent
ionwastoendt
his
whol
ethi
ngsoy ouguyscanliv
efr
eely.
Me:Idon'
tcar
eaboutl
i
vingf
reel
yifhei
snot
her
e.
Mari
a:I
tsalli
nGodhands,
Ijustprayt
hathe
gi
veshi
m backtousandhopeful
lythi
sti
mehe
won'
tbestupi
d.
Shesai
dlaughi
ngatt
hel
astpar
tandIsmi
l
eda
bi
t.
Mar
ia:
Yourdaught
eri
sback!
!
Me:
Clai
re?
Mar
ia:
Yes,
shecamebackt
woday
sago.
Me:Shei
snotcl
osedwi
thcol
l
egesowhyi
sshe
her
e?
Mar
ia:
Thaty
ouhav
etoaskher.
Icouldt el
l sheishi dingsomet hingfrom mebut
Iwon' tf orcewhat everi ti
sf rom her,Ist epped
downf rom t hebedandwewal kedt oMi ke's
room andshest ay edout sidewhi l
eIgot
i
n.Tear si mmedi atelyswel l upinmyf aceseei ng
himl ay i
ngt herewi thal lt
hosepi pesonhi m
mot i
onl ess. Iwalkupt ohisf aceandhi sey es
werecl osedandhewassopeacef ulIfeltmy
tearsf alli
ngonmyhands. Itsl i
keIam wai ti
ng
forhimt oopenhi sey esandsaysomet hing
stupidt omebutIguessnott odayhei sj uststi
l
l
.Ipulledt hechai randsatnextt ohi m and
grabbedhi shand, I'm suremyf aceislikea
potatobecauseofal ltheset earsIdon' thav ea
soundIj ustcan' tbr i
ngmysel ftowhal ingr i
ght
now.
Godknowshowmuchhemakesmemadbut
ri
ghtnowIj
ustwanthi
mtowakeup.
Irai
semyheadupandt
hedoct
orwasst
andi
ng
ther
elooki
ngatme.
Dr
:I'
m sor
ryi
fIdi
stur
bed.
Me:
(Sni
ff
s)No,
i
t'
sfi
ne.
Dr:Tal
ktohi
m,wenotsurei
fhecanhearyou
butit
swort
hat r
yandi'
veseenmanypeople
wakeupbecauseoft
hat.
Me:
What
'st
hepoi
nt,
hewon'
trespond.
Dr:
Thatmaybe,butifhecanhearthepeopl
e
helov
esthatmaygiv
ehi m st
rengt
htofi
ght.
Me:
Mhh,
whatexact
lyi
sthepr
obl
em?
Dr:I
nter
nalbleedi
ngmostlyandr
uptured
i
nternalor
gansbutwestabil
i
sedallt
hatnow
wewai t
ingforhimtor
espondtothemedicat
ion
.
Me:
Pleasebehonestwi
thme,
i
shegoi
ngt
o
makei
t.?
Dr:
Hischancesar
esl
i
m buti
t'
snotdoneunt
il
Godsaysso.
Me:
Okay.
Hecheckedt hedri
pandl
eftandthatwasey
e
openingadoctorwhobel
ievesi
nGodspowers
.Ikeptrubbi
nghishand.
Me: Iam angr yatyoubecauseyoupr omisedto
beher eforthispregnancybutnowy oulayi
ng
hereandf orthatwheny ouwakeupIneeda
newcar, youknowi tsnoteasycarr
yingthese
rascalsofy oursandtotopitIst
il
lneedt otake
careofy ourcurrentonessoyouowemebi g
ti
me.
Thisisreal
lyweirdbecauserightaboutnowy ou
wouldhav erespondedtome, babyplease
comebackIcannotf acethi
swor ldwit
houtyou
.IknowIam st rongandconfidentbuttr
uthbe
tol
dwi t
houty ouIhav enoneoft hat.
=
Isteppedout
sideandMari
awasnowsi tt
ing
withThabi
saandmybr ot
hersandimmediately
theysawmet heycameinmydirect
ionhugging
me.
Themba:
Arey
ouokay
?
I
twasasurpr
iseseei
nghim her
ebecausehe
wasnotaf
anofMi kebutanyway.
Me: Iam fi
ne,
it
sjustpai
nfulseei
nghi
mlike
thatbecauseheisal
waysmybackbonebeing
strongformebutnowIhav etobestr
ongfor
him.
Si
zwe:
Heknockedy
ouup,
damn!
!!
Icoul
dseewhathewasdoi
ng,
hei
str
yingt
o
cheermeup.
Me:
Youj
usthadt
ost
atet
hatoutdi
dn'
tyou?
Si
zwe: Hebet
terwakeupforr
eal
becauseIam
notdeali
ngwi
thyourhor
monesagai
n.
Il
aughedatthatbecausedur
ingthet
winshe
wasmyv ict
im,Inaggedhi
m alotandhehat
ed
ev
erypartofit.
Themba:
Itwaski
ndoff
unnyt
hough.
Sizwe: Youthi
nk?Youwer enottheonerubbi
ng
herf eetandli
steni
ngtohercry
ingand
compl aini
ngabouthowmuchshehat esMike
forleavingherpregnant.
Me:Youmaki
ngmeahor
ri
bleper
sonIwasnot
t
hatbad.
Maria:
Notbad?Li l
i
any ouwereati
ckingbomb
,oneminuteyousmili
ngthenboom you
expl
ode.Iwasevenafrai
dofyou.
Me:
AndIt
houghty
ouhav
emyback?
Isai
dlooki
ngatherandt
heyal
llaughedImust
sayi
tisgoodtoshareal
aught
er.
Thabi
sa:
Wher
ewasdad?
Me:
Whydoy
oucar
e?I
tsnotl
i
keIl
ovehi
m
accor
dingt
oyou.
Al
l
:Li
l
ian!
!!
Mar
ia:
Whati
sthatal
labout?
Me:LookIgetthatshei
sMike'
sdaughterbut
j
ustkeepherawayf r
om mebecauseIdon'
t
hav
et heener
gyforher.
Theywer eabouttoaskquestionsbutthatwas
di
sturbedbyal oudscreamingof"mama"I
l
ookedatt hedirect
ionofthevoiceanditwas
Clai
re,sheranandhuggedme.
Me:
Heybaby,
i
tssogoodt
oseey
ou.
Cl
air
e:Youar
eokay?Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
ou.
Me:
Iam nowt
hatmybi
gbabyi
sher
e.
Isai
dki
ssi
nghercheek.
Cl
air
e:Ma!
!!
Me:What,
Igavebi
rt
htoy
ousoIwi
l
lki
ssy
ou
any
whereIli
ke.
Therewasayoungmancomingourdir
ect
ion
andClai
rehel
dhishandsoi
'
m guessi
ngheis
theboyf
ri
end.
Cl
air
e:Mom t
hisi
s..
..
.
Si
zwe:
Shananotnow.
Me:
Notnowwhat
?
Cl
air
e:Shegoi
ngt
ofi
ndoutany
way
.
Mar
ia:
Thati
smycuet
oleav
e.
Me:Youar
eal
lnotgoi
ngany
wher
e,whati
s
goi
ngon?
Cl
air
e:Mom t
hisi
sThomaskenderandhei
smy
Husband.
Me:
Yourwhat
???
Thomas:
Herhusband.
Me:Iwast
alki
ngt
omydaught
er,
whatdi
dyou
j
ustsay
?
Cl
air
e:Mapl
easel
owery
ourv
oice.
Me:
Youmar
ri
ed?

.
.
TBC
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT46
Mar
ia

Wear eall
looki
ngatLili
anant i
cipat
ingher
reacti
onandIcantellt
hisisaboutt obea
disast
erIj
usthopeherr eact
ionwon' t
embar r
assus,Il
ookatThabi saandshei s
actual
lysmil
ingwhichremindsmeIneedt otal
k
toheraboutherint
eracti
onwi t
hLi l
i
anearli
er.
Li
l
y:Madoy
ouknowanyt
radi
ti
onal
heal
er
ar
ound.
?
Atl
eastt
hat
sabet
terr
eact
iont
hanIt
hought.
Me:
Huhh?
Si
zwe:
Youandat
radi
ti
onal
heal
er?
Lil
y:It
hinkit
stimeIbecauseIdon'
tthi
nk
ther
e'severbeenapersoncursedasIam r
ight
now.
Cl
air
e:Mawhatdoyoumeancur
sed?MY
marr
iagei
snotacur
se.
Lil
y:Ineedt
oseemybabi
es,
canJessbr
ing
them?
Ohht hi
sreacti
onr i
ghthereisclassi
candIam
actuall
yproudofhermat uri
tytonotbursti
n
publi
cbutIcertainl
ydonotwantt obeClai
re
whent heyarealone.
Cl
air
e:SoMay
ounotgoi
ngt
osayany
thi
ng?
Me:
Gogol
eav
eit!
!
Li
ly:Well
excusemei
fIdon'
tsuppor
tthi
s
nonsenseyoudoi
ng.
Clai
re:
MaIl ovehi
m andt
hismarr
iagei
sreal
.
I
knewy ouweregoi
ngtodothi
s,maybedadwil
l
supportme.
Al
l
:Cl
air
e!!
!!
!
Li
ly:SobecauseyouknewIwasgoi
ngtodo
"t
his",
youthoughtget
ti
ngmarr
iedi
nsecr
etat
22waswi se?
Clai
re:
Mom Iam anadul
tandcanmakemy
owndecisi
onsandthi
sisoneIam not
changi
ng.
Li
ly
:Yousur
eareanadul
tnow,
Ineedt
ocheck
onMike(
wal
ksaway).
Cl
air
e:Congr
acul
ati
onsont
hebaby
.
Li
li
ant
urnedandl
ookedatherandsai
dnot
hing
andCl
air
ehadtopushi
t,
thi
schil
d.
Cl
air
e:Mawhycan'
tyoubehappyf
orme?You
woul
dhav
emar
ri
eddadt
ooatt
hatage.
Lil
i
ancamebackandst
oodrighti
nfrontofher
andthel
ookonherf
acetol
dmet hatsheis
fuming.
Lil
y: Sonowy oucompar i
ngsituations?Let'sget
somet hingsclear, Iwoul dhavenotmar riedy our
fatherbecauseat22Ist i
ll
want edt oenjoymy
l
ife,andev eni fIdidy ourdadandIst arted
datingi nhighschool sowhenIwas22Ial ready
knewhi mf or4y ears. Nowt hatcan'tbesai d
abouty oubecausey ouhav en'tknownt hisboy
forev enay earandy oual r
eadymar ri
edasy ou
callit.I'
m guessi nghepr oposedandy our
answerwas" wher ei st hecourthouse? "and
thatwasbecausey oumychi l
dhav enopar ents
oraf ami l
ythatwoul dbeact uallybeconcer n
abouty ouorwoul dhav eli
kedt oknowabout
yourdeci si
onandi nt hatpartofy oubei ngan
"Orphan"y ouf orgottheper sonwhopay sfor
thelifey ouliving,whodi deverythingtomake
sureyouhadaperfectli
fetheol
dstupidhag
thatgavebir
tht
oyou. Thankyouforyour
appreci
ati
onitmeansal ot,
nowifyouwil
l
excusemeIhav eahusbandt ot
akecareof.
Sheturnedaroundandlef
twitht
earsi
nher
eyesandClairewasalsocr
ying,
Idon'
tthi
nkwe
werereadyforthat.
Thomashuggedhiswife.
Me:
Clai
reyoushoul
dn'thav
epushed,your
mot
heral
readyhasenoughtodealwi
th.
Cl
air
e:Idi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
therl
i
ket
hat.
Me:Whatwer
eyouexpect
ing?f
orhert
osi
ng
"
happy
"?
Themba: Li
keIsaidbeforewhaty oudidis
di
srespectful
tobothyourmot herandthe
wholefamilyandthefactthatyouthought
bri
ngingitupherewasokayi sevenwor se.
Sizwe:Thembast
opscol
dingher,
Ithi
nkshe
getsit.
Me:Idon'tthi
nkshedoes, thingsl i
ket hese
makesy oudoubty ourposit
ioni ny ourchilds
l
ife.
Shei snotangry,sheishur t.Nowpl easedo
notbri
ngi tupagainunlessshedoes, shei s
al
readynotcopinghav ingherhusbandsl ife
hangi
ngi nthebalanceshedoesn' tneedt his.
Cl
air
e:Iwi
l
lapol
ogi
se.
Me:
Leaveit,
nowy
ouandThomascangoget
t
hekids.
Cl
air
e:Okay.
Theylef
tandthebr
other
salsowentoutt
oget
usall
somef oodwhi
chisgoodbecauseIcan
tal
ktoThabi
sanow.
Me:
Andy
oumi
ssy
?
Thabi
sa:
Gogo?
Me:Don'
t"Gogo"me,
whathappenedbet
ween
youandLi
li
an?
Thabi
sa:
Shej
ustdoesn'
tl
ikeme.
Me:Lil
iani
smanyt hingsbutbei
ngpett
ytoa
chi
ldisnotoneofthem,whydidyousayshe
doesn'
tlov
eMi ke?
Thabi
sa:
Ijustaskedherwhyshemar
ri
eddad.
Me:Fi
rstofal
lthatisnotyourpl
ace,
andy
ou
t
hinkshedoesn'tl
oveyourdad?
Thabi
sa:
Yes.
Me: OkayIam goi ngtoaddr essthisnicely
becausey ousti
llnewt othef amily.Ihate
childrenwhodi srespecttheirparentsorany
elderf orthatmat terandf oryoutocomeher e
anddi srespectLil
ianabouthermar r
iage
i
nf uriatesmebecauset her e'
sisnotev ena
singlewomanoutt her
ethatwoul dputupwi th
yourdadbutshedi dandt hattomei slove.
That
womanr i
ghttherethatyoui nsul
tedhasbeenby
yourdad' ssidethroughthi ckandt hi
nandshe
thatbecauseshel ovedhim. Shehadmany
chanceswher eshecoul dhav esaid"t hat'
sit
i
'mt hrough"andl ef
tbutshedi dn't
.Sheloved
yourdadwhenhel eftherf oral most11mont hs
andshewaspr egnant, shel ovedhi m whenit
washi sfaultMnqobi gotkidnapped, sheloved
him whenher uinedherweddi ngdayal l
becausehecoul dn'tkeephi spantsonandwas
will
ingtoraisehi schil
df rom out side.Nowf or
yout ocomeher eandactl ikey ouknow
everythi
ngaboutherwheny ouknownot hing
aboutLili
anort heirmar r
iage.IloveLili
anso
muchbecausey ourdaddoesn' twhom y ou
thi
nki sasaintdoesn' tdeser v
eher. Andt o
answery ourquest i
on, shemar r
iedyourdad
becauseshel ov eshim unl essy ouhav eanot her
theoryyouwi l
l f
indLi l
ianandapol ogisetoher
andy ouwi l
lmeani t.
Thabi
sa:
Iam sor
ry.
Me:Hopeful
l
ywewon'thav
et heseat
ti
tudes
agai
nbecausei
fyourdadf
indsoutaboutthi
s
hewil
lbemad.
Thabi
sa:
Iwi
l
lgoandapol
ogi
set
o..
..
.
Li
l
y:Mawher
e..
..
Me:
Shei
sal
readyher
e.
Thabi
sa:
Ma.
.I.
..
Li
ly
: Ir
eall
ydonothav
etheener
gyfort
his,
you
havealr
eadyi
nsult
edmeenough.
Thabi
sa:
Iwantt
oapol
ogi
se,
Ispokeoutoft
urn
an.
..
Li
ly:
LookIhonest
lydonotcar
e,keepy
our
apol
ogy.
Me:
Lil
i
an!
!
Lil
y:MaIgetwhaty oudoingbuttr
ustmesheis
doingthi
sbecausey ouf
orcingher,
hermindset
i
sst i
ll
thesamesoIdon'tneedherapologyli
ke
IsaidIwil
ltol
erat
eherbecausesheismy
husband'
schildbutdon'
texpectmorefr
om me.
.
.
.
(
2weeksl
ater
)
Li
l
ian
Thishospitalhasbecomemynewhome
becauseIam her eev erydayandi tsexhausting
becauseMi kehasl iterall
ybeent hesame, no
progressatallbutIst il
ldohav ehopet hathe
will
wakeupbecausehest oppedbr eathingwit
h
Machi nesbuthef ellinacoma. Icomeher e
everydayandt alktohi m aboutev erythingheis
l
ikemyv enti
ngplacebutcan' trespond. My
babyhasbeenki ckingsomuchl atel
yandwi th
thestateifthi
ngsIf eart hatMikewi llnotbe
hereforthebirthbecauseI '
m almost6mont hs
nowandt hi
sstresshasbeent axingonmy
bodybecauseIdi dn'tgainmuchwei ght
becauseoft hepr egnancy.
Iwal
kinsi
det
her
ecept
ionandLi
that
he
recept
ioni
stissmi l
i
ngwi t
hafl
ower
s,t
oldyouI
am nowar egularheresoIhav
esomesortof
fri
endshi
pwitht henurses.
Li
tha:
Happybi
rt
hdaysi
sLi
l
ian.
Shesaidhuggi
ngme,morel
i
kemysi
de
becauseofmybigbel
l
y.
Me:
Howdi
dyouknowt
hati
t'
smybi
rt
hday
?
Li
tha:
Iam t
her
ecept
ioni
sthoney
!!
Me:
(l
aughs)OhhI
'
lll
eti
tsl
i
dej
ustbecausei
ts
t
oday.
Lit
ha:Godi
swat
chi
ngov
erhi
m andhewi
l
l
rel
easehi
m.
Isaidthati
nmymi ndwi t
hherbecauseshehas
beensay i
ngthatsentencesinceImetherbut
i
tsgoodshest il
lbeli
evesthere'
saGodwho
l
istenbecauseIevenst oppedpray
ing.
Me:
Letmegoi
n.
Li
tha:
Whatam Iget
ti
ngf
orl
uncht
oday?
Ohhandshehasbeent aki
ngcareofmy
nutr
it
ionbecauseIev
enforgett
hatIhav
etoeat
,shehasbeenanangel.
Me:Ifeel
li
kegoi
ngonbi
nget
oday
,any
thi
ng
wi
thfatswil
ldo.
Li
tha:
Noti
fIhav
eany
thi
ngt
odowi
thi
t.
Isli
ghtl
ylaughwalkingt othewardandl
ike
usualheisjustl
ayingt her
eIsitonmycouch
,yesIhaveacoucht hatIsitoni
nst
eadofa
chairt
hankstoLitha.
Me:
Mor
ningbabey
.
SometimesIfeel
li
keI'
m goi
ngcrazyt
alki
ng
al
onebecausesometi
mesIreal
lygeti
ntothe
conv
ersat
ion.
Me: Soit'smybirt
hdaytodayandy ounothere
tocelebratewi
thmeandhonest l
yitfeel
sli
ke
thewor stdayofmylif
e. Yourbabyhasbeen
kicki
ngt hewholemorningevenrightnowI'
mi n
pain.
ItakeouttheIpadandplugint heheadphones
i
nhi searsmakinghimli
stent othebaby's
heartbeat,
Ididthesamethi
ngwi t
hlastweeks
scan. Iam j
ustt
ryi
ngevery
thingr i
ghtnow.
Me:Itwi
llbechr
ist
masi nafewweeksandIat
l
eastneedtospendthatwit
hyoucomeon.
Icont
inuedtot
alktohiml i
keIusuall
ydoandI
sawtheguardsbri
nginginchairsandtables
andwhenIaskedt heyj
ustshruggedtheir
shoul
dersandbeforeIcouldstartwal
kingout
toaskIsawthewhol efamil
ycomi ngi
nandmy
kidsr
antomeandNandi wasal soher
e.
Nandi
:(hugs)Happybi
rt
hdaysweet
hear
t.
Theyall
gotincarry
ingbagsandbal
lonsanda
bigCakewit
hapi ct
ureofme,theyt
ookallt
he
foodoutandpreparedt
hetabl
es.
Nel
i
:MamaIwantdaddy.
Theyalwaysaski
ngabouthi
m especi
all
ynow
thatt
heycanspeakal
mostproperl
ywhichIst
il
l
t
hinki
tst
oof
astf
orme.
Me:
Let
sgot
ohi
m.
Itookherandsatheront hebednexttohim
andsheact uall
ylai
donhischest,andIwent
backtoev ery
oneIdon'tknowwhoMar iabri
bed
foral
lthisbecausetheymakingtoomuchnoi se
formyliking.
Mar
ia:
Todayj
ustr
elax,
andhav
eal
i
ttl
efun.
Me:I
'l
ltr
y,Ij
ustdon'
tunder
standwhyhei
snot
waki
ngup.?
Mar
ia:
Hewi
l
l.
Nandi
:Thebabyi
sokay
?
Me:Yeahhexceptf
ort
hephy
sical
abusei
thas
beengi
vingme.
Theyalll
aughatmeandIseeThabi sal
ooking
downmay beIshouldn'
thaveshotdownher
apologybutIdon'
thavetimetoworr
yabout
thatandClai
reisst
il
laroundbutwehaven'
t
spokeandhonestl
yI'm sti
l
lhur
tbywhatshedi
d
andshedoesn'
tseeany thi
ngwrongwit
hwhat
shedidandsheisalsoherewithThomas.
Me:
Mnqobihowcomey
oudi
dn'
tcomet
ogi
ve
memyhug.
Mnqobi
:It
sst
il
lcomi
ngr
elax
.
Isweart
hischi
l
dget
sasmar
tmout
hev
ery
day
.
Me:
ButIneedmybaby(
sadf
ace)
Mnqobi
:Pecksofbei
ngpopul
ar.
Ever
yonelaughedathi
sst
atementandhecame
andhuggedme.
Si
ya:
Met
oo.
Me:Nowther
egoesmyf
avour
it
echi
l
d,come
her
efana.
Hecamer
unni
ngandIputhi
minmyl
ap.
Mnqobi
:It
houghtt
hatwasme?
Me:
(l
aughs)wewi
l
ltal
kinpr
ivat
ent
wana.
Mnqobi
:Mom pl
easedon'
tev
erev
ersayt
hat.
Me:(l
ooki
ngatCl
air
e)Andy
oumi ssyar
enot
goi
ngtowishmeahappybi
rthday?
Cl
air
e:Iwasscaredtocomeneary
ou,
happy
bi
rt
hdaymom( hugs)
Me:
Youshoul
d,butI
'
llf
orgetabouti
ttoday.
Everyonewasenjoyingthemselv
esandforme
tooitwasnicetohav eagoodlaught
erf
ora
change. Myeyesroamedt oMikeandNeli
was
nowsl eepi
ngontopofhi m.
Me:
Clai
rer
emov
eNel
ifr
om Mi
ke'
schest
.
Mar
ia:
No,
l
ethersl
eepwi
thherdad.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.

.
I
NSERT47
Ll
i
li
an
Yest
erdaywasamazingIwon'tl
i
ebutnot
complet
ewithoutmyhusband.
Iplanongoi ngt ohiml ateronbutr ightnowI
havetodeal wi t
htheseki dswhowokeupon
thewr ongsideoft hebed. Mnqobi i
shisusual
annoyingself,Neli
hasbeencr y
ingabout
anythi
ngandev erythi
ngandSi yahasbeenon
tantr
umssi ncey esterdayIhonest lyfeell
ike
theymi ssbeingint hebighouset hisapartment
i
st oosmal lformeort hem butI '
m stil
li
nt he
processofbuy i
nganewhousebecauset he
previ
ousonei snotev enr ecognisable.
Mnqobi
:MamacanIhav
eR10?
Me:
Forwhat
?
Whatt
hehel
ldoesa6y
earol
ddowi
th10?
Mnqobi
:Iwantt
obuyar
ose.
Me:
Whatdoy
ouknowaboutr
oses?Andwho
y
oubuy
ingi
tfor
?
Mnqobi
:Iknowi
t,
I'
m buy
ingi
tfory
ou.
Me:
(smi
l
ing)Me?
HejustnoddedhisheadandIpul
l
edhi
mtome
snuggl
inghisheadonmychest.
Me:
Ngi
yabongaFana,
whyt
hough?
Mnqobi
:Just(
shr
uggi
nghi
sshoul
der
s)
Me:
Just
?
Mnqobi
:OkayIl
ovey
ou.
Me:
That
'smor
eli
kei
t.
Mnqobi
:Thebabyi
sitagi
rloraboy
?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
whatdowanti
ttobe?
Mnqobi
:Gi
rl
.
Me:(
laughs)Uncl
eMi
kewon'
tagr
eewi
th
you,
why?
Mnqobi
:Nel
ineedsaf
ri
end,
shecan'
tpl
aywi
th
usboy
s.
Me:
Mxm l
eav
emybabyal
one.
Mnqobi
:I'
m st
il
lgoi
ngt
obey
ourf
avour
it
e?
Me:Idon'
thav
ethat
,Il
ovey
oual
lequal
l
y.You
al
lmybabies.
Mnqobi
:OkaybutIknowIam .
Hest andsupandleavesandI '
mleftsmil
ing,he
alwayswantstobeassur edthatheist
he
favourit
ebutall
mykidsar ealt
houghIfeell
ike
thi
soneonmybel l
ywillbethemostspoiledby
Mikei fhewakesup.
Iwastidi
ngupt heplacewhenthewasaknock
onthedoorandImov edsl
owlytoopenit
becausemyf eethavebeenswoll
en.Iopenthe
dooranditwasCl ai
reandhonestl
yIwasnot
exci
tedbecauseIdonotwantt oacceptthi
s
marri
agethi
ngofher sbutIknowshewon' tl
et
i
tgo.
Cl
air
e:Mor
ningmommy
(huggi
ng)
Me:
Mor
ning,
comei
n.
Iopenedthedoorandheadedt
othecouchand
shefoll
owedri
ghtbehindmeandsatopposi
te
mewhi chwassmar t
.
Cl
air
e:Youokay
?
Me:
mhhh
Cl
air
e:Iwantust
otal
k.
Me:
I'
mli
steni
ng.
Clai
reMamaI '
m sorryforthewayIhandl
ed
thi
ng,Inowunderstandthehurti
tcausedy ou
anditshoweddisrespectonmyside,I
'm sorr
y.
Me:
Whyar
eyouev
enmar
ri
ed?
Cl
air
e:Becauset
hat
'swhatIwant
edt
odoandI
l
ovehim.
Me:Wedon'
tevenknowthatboy
,wher
ehe
comesf
rom andev
enifhehasgoodint
ent
ions.
Cl
air
e:Uncl
eMi
..
..
Me:
Wher
eisMi
kei
nvol
vedi
nthi
s?
Clai
re:Heknowsabouthim andi
fther
ewas
anyt
hingshadyabouthi
m hewouldhavetold
me.Mom ItrustThomasandIknowhel ov
es
me.
Me:
SoMi
keknewbutIdi
dn'
t?Wow.
Clai
re:
Ididn'
ttel
lhi
m,hef
oundouthi
sownway
buthealsodoesn'
tknowaboutt
hemarr
iage.
Me: Zanel
eIdon'
tknowabouthisl
ovebutone
thi
ngIknowisthatmarr
iageshoul
dn'
tbepart
ofit
.
Cl
air
e:Whyar
eyousoagai
nstt
his?
Me: Wel
lletmest
atetheobvi
ousfir
st,
youbot
h
sti
l
lincol
lege.
Whoi sgoi
ngtopayforyourbi
l
ls
becauseIknowI'
m notpar
tofthat
.
Cl
air
e:Hei
sal
sowor
kingpar
tti
me.
Me:
Wil
lthatsust
ainahousehol
d?Zanel
e
marri
ageisnotj
ustaboutSexandpi l
l
ow
tal
k,
ther
e'sl
otofresponsibi
li
ti
esandsacr
if
ices
andyoutwoarenotr eadyforthat
.
Cl
air
e:Wewi
l
lfi
gur
eitoutal
ongt
heway
.
Me: Youj
ustdon'
tgeti
tdoyou?Clai
reyou
youngandfreeenj
oyyourl
i
fefi
rstbef
oreall
t
his.
Cl
air
e:AndIam enj
oyi
ngmyl
i
fe,
mom he
makesmehappy .
!!
Me: Okay,
yourl
ifechoices.Iam yourmother
andIloveyoubutt hatdoesn'tmeanIhaveto
acceptyourdecisi
onsandt hisoneisoneof
them butIwil
lrespectyourri
ghttomake
mistakes.
Cl
air
e:Ma!
!
Me:Youwantt
oknowwhyInev
erwentbackt
o
wor
kevenaft
erMi
kewasback?
Shej
ustnodsherheadandt
obehonestshei
s
adamantaboutt
hisbutI'
l
lletherli
vebyher
choi
ceswhichshewil
lregretbytheway.
Me: Ir eal
i
sedt hatasaWi f
ey oucan'
ttakecar
e
ofyourhusbandf ull
yify
oucomebackhome
ti
red, nowt hatwasasacrifi
ceIwasnothappy
withbutcont entwi
th.
Alotcomeswi thMarri
age
buty ouwi l
l see.
Cl
air
e:Soy
ounotagai
nsti
tnow.
Me:Ididn'
tsaythat
,(
standi
ngup)butwhatIdo
knowisthatyouarebabysi
tti
ngyoursi
bli
ngsI
needtogo.
Cl
air
e:uhhhmama,youknowyourki
dsar
enot
ni
cetobearoundt
osometimes.
Me:Good,
that'
spract
ice.Youawi
fenowget
usedt
omot hernatur
e.
Cl
air
e:Idon'
tneedt
o.
Me:
mhhh,
ther
e'sf
oody
oucancook.
I'
m out
.
It
ookmybagandkey
sandl
eft
.Thi
siswhyshe
i
snotreadyforthi
sshecan'tevencookbutI'
ll
l
etherhaveherexperi
enceandI '
l
lbereadywith
t
hemagi cwords"Itol
dyouso"inaboutthree
monthsthat
'stheperi
odI'
m giv
ingthi
s
madness.
Idrov est raightt ot hehospi talandwal kedi nto
hiswar d, theychangedhi sbeddi ngt odayt hat'
s
nice. Thef unnyt hi ngaboutt hisist hatIdon' t
evencr yany mor ei tsli
keI '
mi mmunet othe
routinenow. Isitdownandpl aywi thmyI Pad, I
don'thav eany t
hi ngt osayt odayorshoul dIsay
Idon' tfeel li
kesay i
ngany thing.Thedoct or s
saidt heydon' tknowwhyhehasn' twokenup
becausehi sbodyi sheal i
ngandr espondi ngt o
themedi cat ion.Iwal kbyt hewi ndowst arringat
thev iew, foray eari nmar r
iageIsur ehavebeen
throughi tall t
ol astmet ot he25t hanni versary,
i
ft herewasanev erat estoflovef orust hi s
yearwoul dbei tbutIj usthopet hatnowwecan
startbei ngt otallyhappyandenj oy ingbeing
marr
ied.Ihav
edealtwit
hcheati
ng,
al
mostbaby
mamadr ama,decei
tandal
lot
hersandy
etI
di
dn'
tevengot oahoneymoon.
"
L..
y.
..
nn"
Istopatthetracksofmyt hought sinfearto
turnaround,maybet hisismyheadImeanI
hav ebeencreati
ngconv ersat i
onsinmyhead
may bethisi
soneoft hem butsomet hi
ngabout
thi
smakemyhear tbeatf ast er.
Ibrushitoffand
cont i
nuetol
ookout sidebutadi ff
icul
tclear
throatsoundencoresandIam nowconv inced
thatIam notcrazy.Iturnar oundandhei sstil
li
n
thesameposi ti
onwi thhisey esclosed,Ifeel
tearsescapi
ngmyey esIguessmydesi refor
himt owakeupi spl ay i
ngtricksonme.
Me:(
shout i
ng)Wakeupdammi t,I
'mtir
edof
comingher eever
ydaytalki
ngt omyselfl
ike
somecr azyasswoman. Mzi wonkeIswearIam
nott
akingt hi
sbabyoutifyounotthereevenifI
car
ryitfor15monthsIwi ll
.
Ijustwantyouto
annoyme,IneedsexMikeandyouknowwit
h
thi
schi
ldofyoursIcan'
treal
l
ysat
isf
ymysel
f.
I'
m givi
ngyout
womor eday sandifnotIam
divor
cingy
ouevenifyouareawalkingzombie
andthenyouwil
lbelefther
ealone.
"L.
..
y.nn"ItanchorsagainandwhenIl ookat
him Iseehi sf
ingersmov i
ngwi t
hhimt r
yingto
rai
sehi shandandst upi
dmeIdi dn'
tknowwhat
todosoIr anoutandgoti nsi
dehisdoctors
off
icewi t
houtev enknocking.
Dr
:Mr
sDi
mba,
youokay
?
Iam nowcr
yingIdon'
tknowwhatf
orbuti
t
feel
samazi
ng.
Me:
He.
..
hemov
edhi
shandandt
ri
edt
ospeak.
Dr
:Hei
swaki
ngup?
Me:
Ithi
nkso.
Dr
:Andy
ouher
e?l
et'
sgo.
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
47Cont
inued
.
.
Afterthedoctorwentt ohiswardandIwast old
towai tout
sidesot heycouldcheckhimfirst
andmymi stakewascal li
ngMariabecause
everyoneisher eincl
udi
nghisfatherandthe
antici
pati
onf orthedoctortocomeoutiski l
l
ing
everyone.
Si
zwe:
Howdi
dithappen?
Me:
Idon'
tknowbuthet
ri
edt
ospeak.
Cl
air
e:Sohei
sawakef
ull
y?
Me:Idon'
tknowbutIhopeso.
Wher
ear
ethe
ki
ds?
Cl
air
e:wi
thGogoMar
tha.
Mariahasbeentooquietforhernor malself
maybeshestil
linshockandt hedoct orcame
outandtheyal
lstoodupappr oachinghim and
formestandi
ngupi sabitofapr oblem andso
i
swal ki
ngbecauseofmyal waysswol l
enfeet'
s.
Mar
ia:
Hei
sokay?
Dr:
Heisactual
l
ygood,
youcangor
ightahead
andseehi
m.
OhhwowI 'veneverseenanyt
hingli
kethi
s,t
hey
al
l r
anint
ot hewardandIwasl ef
tstandi
ngi
n
shockmay beIshouldn'
thav
ecalledthem
i
mmedi at
elyandspentsomet i
mewi t
hMike
fi
rst.
Dr
:Youhav
eal
ovel
yfami
l
y.
Me:
Ohhwel
lal
soabi
tofcr
azyasy
oucansee.
Dr
:(
laughs)Youshoul
dgoi
ntoo.
Me:
Theypr
obabl
yhoundi
nghi
m,butIdi
dwant
t
oknow.
Hisi
nter
nal
organsar
eful
l
yfunct
ioni
ng
?
Dr:Yes,
don'
tworr
yheisfi
neandbecausehis
bodyhasheal
edsomuchI'm st
il
lconf
usedas
towhyhedidn'
twakeupearl
i
er..
..
.
Me:Al
rightl
etmegoandthanky
ouagai
nfor
ev
eryt
hingyoudi
dforhi
m.
Dr:
Iwasjustdoingmyjobbutt
hatmanri
ght
t
herei
sveryluckytohavey
ouashiswi
fe.
Me:
Itr
y.
Ismil
edathim andwalkedtothewar dbut
somethingi
nsi
demewasv eryji
tt
eryabout
goi
nginsoIjustwatchedthem fr
om outsi
de
andafterawhi
leMariacameoutal lsmil
es.
Mari
a:Iknewyouwer
est
andi
ngher
e,whyar
e
younotcomingi
n?
Me:
Idon'
tknowhonest
ly,
hei
snor
mal
?
Mar
ia:
Asi
fnot
hingev
erhappened.
Letgoi
n.
Shegrabbedmyhandandimmedi at
elywegot
i
nev er
yonelookedatmeandIcouldfeel
Mike'
s
eyesonme.
Mar
ia:
Guy
slet
sst
epout.
Theyal
lwalkedoutl
eav
ingmestandi
ngt
her
e
andMikeadjust
edhi
ssit
ti
ngposi
ti
on.
Mi
ke:
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Hi
svoicegotmoredeeperandhel
ostsome
wei
ghtri
ghtf
ull
yso.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
!!
Me:Yes,
I
'm sor
ryi
tsj
ustthatIwantedt
his
momentforawhil
ebutnowIdon'tnowwhatt
o
do.
Mi
ke:
Youcanst
artbygi
vi
ngmeahug.
Iwalkedtohim andgavehim oneofthelongest
hugsev erknowntoeart
handIdon'tcareifhe
i
ssuf f
ocatingImissedhi
m.
Mi
ke:
Ba.
.by
Ibrokeoffthehugandwipedmyt ear
sandhe
mov edtothesidel
ett
ingmesitnexttohi
m
touchi
ngmyf ace.
Mi
ke:
Don'
tcr
yonmepl
ease.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou,
Ithoughty
ouwou.
..
Mike:
Don'
tevent
hinkaboutit,
Iam hereand
t
herewasnowayIwasgoi ngtoletyoucarr
y
mybabyfor15months.
Il
ookedathi
m andhewantedt
olaugh,
i
tsso
goodtoseehi
ml i
ket
his.
Me:
Youhear
dme?
Mike:
Ihear
dev
ery
thi
ngy
ousai
dbutIcoul
dn'
t
r
espond.
Me:Il
oveyousomuchdon'
tev
erscar
emeof
f
l
iket
hat.
Mi
ke:
Woul
dnev
er,
Youst
uckwi
thme.
Me:(
smil
es)wel
lIr
atherhav
ethatt
hannoty
ou
atal
l.
Mi
ke:
Howar
eyouhol
dingupwi
tht
hebaby?
Me:I'm okayconsider
ingt
heabusei
vebeen
gett
ingfrom yourbabyandI'
minneedofafoot
rub.
Mi
ke:
Giv
emey
ourf
eet
's,
mov
eback.
Me:
No,
focusonget
ti
ngbet
teragai
n.
Mike:Li
l
ianIam fi
ne,i
nfacti
vebeenr
est
ingf
or
f
artoolong.I
fitwereuptomeIwouldbe
l
eavingthi
splace.
Me:Goodthingi
tsnotupt
oyou,I
tsbeen2
hour
ssinceyouwokeupandyoualr
eadywant
tobebatman.
Mi
ke:
ButIf
eel
fine.
Me:Iam notargui
ngwi t
hy ou,y
oustayi
ngi
n
t
hishospi
talunti
lthedoctorrel
easesy
ou.
Helookedatmeshockedwi t
hthet
oneIused
wi
thhim butIam ser
ious.
Mi
ke:
Alr
ightt
hen,
howar
etheki
ds,
wher
eyou
st
ayi
ng?
Me:OhhhmyGodst
opt
ryi
ngt
oknowi
ng
ev
eryt
hing.
Mike:
OkayLili
anli
stentome,IAM FI
NEand
t
hatmeansIhav etogetbacktomyli
feand
r
esponsi
bil
i
ties.
Me:
AndIam TELLI
NGy
ouIgoti
t.
Mike:
Justsoy
ouknow,
thi
sappl
i
esf
ort
oday
onl
y.
Me:
That
'sal
lIask.
Mi
ke:
Younotangr
ywi
thmef
orwhatIdi
d?
Me:Idi
dn'
thav
et i
metobeangrywit
hyoubut
nowthaty
oubroughtt
hatupIshoul
d.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
!!
Me: I
'm ki
ddi
ng,
noIam notangr
yalt
houghI
feell
ikeyouwer
eir
responsi
blef
orgoi
ngther
e
alone.
Mike:Ij
usthatedwhatitdi
dt oyouandthekids
soIjustwantedustohaveaf reel
ifewi
thout
havi
ngt oworryaboutanyt
hingexceptr
aisi
ng
ourkids.
Me:
Mhhh
Iwasnotevenl
i
steni
ngtohim becausemy
i
nnerhoehasal
readysur
faced.
Mi
ke:
Whatar
eyout
hinki
ngabout?
Me:
Thi
s..
.
Isaidleani
nginandkissi
nghim andhekissed
mebackandIf el
tal
i
veagainIam real
ly
addictedtothi
smanbutatleastit
samor e
nicerdrug.
Me:
(pul
l
ingout
)Youwer
etoosl
owIhadt
o.
Mike:
( l
aughs)Thi
siswhyIl
ovey
ou,
youj
ust
amazing.
Me:
Ilov
eyoumor
e.
Mi
ke:
Impossi
ble
Me:Letmecal
lMarthatobr
ingtheki
ds,
they
mi
ssedyouespeci
all
yyourl
it
tl
ediva.
Mi
ke:Shetakesaft
ery
ou,nol
etmespendt
ime
wi
thy
out oday.
I'
l
lseet
hem t
omorr
ow.
Me: Youcan'
tbl
amet
hatonme,
Hav
eyoumet
yourmother?
Webot
hlaughed.
Mi
ke:
Mypoorbabyshei
scombi
ned.
Laywi
th
me.
Me:Unl
essyouwantustobr
eakthi
spoorbed
t
henyes,hav
eyouseenhowbigIam ?
Mi
ke:
Sti
l
lbeaut
if
ulandsexyt
ome.
Me:
Nicechoi
ceofwor
dsMr
.
Mi
ke:
It'
str
uet
hough
Me:Ithi
nkIwil
ltakey
ouupont
hef
oot
massageoff
er.
Mi
ke:
AwwwMr
sDi
mbaIt
houghtIwasnotf
it
enough?
Me:Wellnowyouar
eandi
tsy
ourf
aul
tI'
m
pr
egnantanyway
.
Mi
ke:
Webot
htobl
amef
ort
hatmyl
ovel
ywi
fe.
Me:
I'
ll
lety
oubel
i
evet
hat
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT48
Li
l
ian
Ithasbeentwoweekssi nceMi kecameback
homeandhei sdoi ngfi
ne,toofineifyouask
mebutIsweari fIquesti
onhisst ateofhealt
h
againhewi l
lprobablykil
lme.Ihav efounda
houseandwear emov ingtoitin3day sand
Mikei sst
il
lupsetbecauseIusedmyown
moneyt opayfori twhichisweirdbecausewe
mar r
iedandheal readypaysforev eryt
hingel
se
buthisegowi l
lhav etoabsorbt heknock
becauseIam notchangi ngthatt ransacti
on.As
partofaccepti
ngt his"marr
iage"ofCl air
e'sI
haveinvi
tedthem f ordi
nnerbutt heybr i
nging
somet hi
ngtoeatbecauseIam noti nthemood
tocook.MikeandIwer einourbedr oom j
ust
l
ayingdownandt hekidswer eal l
t aki
nganap
whichwasar eli
ev ebecauset heygetonmy
nervessometimes.
Me:Ican'
twai
ttomov et
oournewhouse,
thi
s
pl
aceistoosmal
lforal
lofus.
Mi
ke:
ToobadIam notmov
ingi
ntot
hathouse.
Hesaidfocussi
ngonhisphoneandIsatupand
l
ookedathim butst
il
lhei
snotacknowledgi
ng
merightnow.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Mike:
Iam notmov
ingi
ntoahouseIdi
dnotpay
f
or.
Me:
Arggt
hisi
sst
il
laboutt
hedamnpay
ment
?
Real
l
y?
Mike:Yesreal
l
y,Li
l
ianIam themaninthi
s
f
ami l
yanditsmyr esponsi
bil
i
tyt
oprovi
defori
t
,nowy oupayi
ngforthathousei
snotgoingt
o
workforme.
Me:ther
ey ougoagainwi
ththis"
manoft he
house"t
hing,sowhatam I?Apassengerthati
s
supposetodowhateveryoul
ikeanddowhat
I'
mtold?
Mike:
Ididnotsayyouapassenger,
and
(
mumbl i
ng)i
twouldbeact
uall
ynicei
fyoudi
d
whatyouweretol
donceinawhi l
e.
Me:
Excuseme!
!!
Iam sot
ir
edofhi
signor
antass.
Mi
ke:Idi
dn'
tmeant
hat.
..
..
Me:
Iam donewit
hthi
sconversat
ion,
I
'l
lbei
n
t
hekit
chenpr
epar
ingt
hetable.
Iputonmysl
eeper
sandwentt
otheki
tchen
draggi ngmyf eet '
sbecauset heyar eswol lena
bit,
damnt hesehor monesI '
m nowcr yingand
forwhatIdon' tknow. Isplungedmysel font he
couchIam notf i
xingnodamnt abl etheywi ll
do
i
twhent heycomer ightnowIj ustwantt osleep
whichi swhatIhav ebeendoi ngal otlately.I
j
ustdon' tunder standt hebi gdeal withme
payingf orourhouseImeanIcanaf fordi tand
forhimt osayIdon' tlistenthat'sabi ttoomuch
becauseI 'v
eal way sdonewhathet oldmet odo
,Inev erquest ionhi sjudgementormay beI
havebuti tsnotal l t
het ime. Thisi sact ually
funnyt omenotbecauseoft hear gumentwe
j
usthadbutbecauseIj ustrealisedt hatt hisis
actuallyt hefi
rstt i
mewehav ehadani nt ernal
mar ri
ageconf lictinsteadofdeal ingwi th
outsidei ssues.
(
knock)
Me:
Comei
n!!
!!
Cl
air
e:Mot
herdear
est.
Shecametowar
dsmeandhuggedmewhi
l
eI'
m
st
il
ll
ayi
ngonmyback.
Cl
air
e:Youokay
(li
tt
lebi
twor
ri
ed)
Me:
Yeahhj
ustt
ir
ed
Thomas:
Eveni
ngmam?
Me:
HiThomas,
howar
eyou?
Thomas:Iam doingf
inemam ,
butIshoul
dbe
aski
ngyouthat.Howisthel
i
ttl
eone?
Me:
Fine,
nowst
opcal
l
ingme'
mam"y
oumaki
ng
meold.
Thomas:
Isi
tokayi
fIcal
lyouMr
sDi
mba?
Me:
No,
j
ustMi
ssKhumal
o.
Cl
air
e:Hawwsi
ncewhen?
Me:
Mindy
ourbusi
nesswena.
Clai
re:Youmymot hersoyouaremybusi
ness
butIrespectt
hatMissKhumalo.
Thomas:
Let
sfi
xthef
oodbabe.
Me:Onemor
ethi
ng,
no"
babe"cal
l
ingi
nmy
house.
Cl
air
e:Ma!
!!
!!
Me:
Iam hungr
ynowpl
easegett
hef
oodr
eady
.
Cl
air
e:Wher
ear
emysi
bli
ngs?
Me:Sleepi
ngandpleasedonotwaket
hem
up,
theyatebef
oresleepi
ng.
Cl
air
e:Okaay
,yourhusband?
Me:
Thef
oodpl
ease!
!!
Theybothtookthebagst heyhadwi t
ht hem
andarrangedt
het abl
eplacingthefoodand
dishi
ngwhileMikewasst i
llupst
air
sandCl air
e
keptgivi
ngmet hequest
ioningeyepr obabl
y
abouthiswhereabouts.
Me:
SoThomas,
whatdoy
oudo?
Thomas:
Final
yeari
nLawandal
sowor
kpar
t
ti
me.
Me:
Mhh,twol
awy
ersar
eyousur
ethati
sgoi
ng
t
owork?
Cl
air
e:Ma!
!
Me:
Idon'
tremembernami
ngy
ouThomas.
Thomas:WellMissKhumaloIcan'tgr
uarant
e
thef
utur
ebutIdol ov
ey ourdaught
erandi'
m
committ
edanddev otedtolovi
ngherand
makingherhappy.
Ikeepmyey esbetweenthem andwhi l
e
Thomasi stell
ingmeal lt
hisClair
eov erher
eis
smili
ngmi ghtyhardformyl i
ki
ngbutIguess
theyareinlove,Ij
ustcan'tbel
ieveshei s
growingupt omeshest il
l myloudmout h
,bubblybabybutnowi tstimeIseet hewoman
sheis.
Me: St
opsmi l
ingwena, (shelaughs)nowlist
en
bothofyou.Youki ndofdi dforcemet oaccept
thi
smar r
iagebutpl easenoki dsfornow,my
chi
ldissti
llt
ooy oungf orthatresponsi
bil
i
tyand
Iwantbothofyoutoenj
oymarri
agefir
stbef
ore
al
lthatbecausetr
ustmeyourf
ir
styearsi
n
marri
agecountthemost.
Idon'tknowwhybutIwasal i
ttl
esadwhenI
saidthelastpartbutit
strueIloveMikebutt o
behonestIr ecentthebeginni
ngofour
mar r
iage,wear eafewweeksawayf r om our
fi
rstanniver
sarybutithasbeenonel ongy ear
.
Cl
air
e:Youokay
?
Il
if
tedmyheaduptr
yingt
ocontai
nmytear
s,I
sweart
hishor
monesaremaki
ngmecrazy.
Me:YeahbabyIam ,
nowThomasi
fshegi
ves
youanypr
oblem f
eelf
reet
ocal
lme.
Thomas:
Yesmam.
Mi
ke:
IthoughtIhear
dsomev
oices!
!!
Argggmywholemoodj ustdr
oppeddown,I
di
dn'tev
enbothert
olookathim somet
hing
abouthi
mjustannoysme.
Cl
air
e:HeyUncl
eMi
ke.
Mike:
Heybabygi r
l,
youmustbeThomas
(
shakinghands)
Thomas:
Yessi
r,i
tsgoodt
ofi
nal
l
ymeety
ou.
Mike:Sameher
e,sohowhasmar
ri
agel
i
febeen
t
reati
ngyoutwo?
HesatdownnexttomeandIj
ustpai
dno
at
tenti
ontohim,
hedi
shedupf
orhimsel
fand
st
artedeat
ing.
Thomas:
Itsbeenamazi
ng,
weenj
oyi
ngi
t.
Clai
re:Seemom thosear
ethequest
ionsy
ou
shouldhaveasked.
Thomas:
MissKhumal
ocany
oupassmet
he
j
uice.
Igavehimthejui
ceandIdidn'
tevenhav
eto
l
ookathim butIcoul
dfeelhi
seyespoki
ng
holesi
nmyf acenott
hatIcare.
Mi
ke:
MissKhumal
o??
Cl
air
e:Yourwi
fe.
Mike:Thomasitwasni
cemeeti
ngyou,Cl ai
re
babyIhavetocutt
hesedi
nnershor
t.Cany ou
twotaketheki
dstoJessi
ca'
shouseI'l
ltexther
.
Me:
Myki
dsar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
e.
Mike:
Theyar
eint
hei
rroom,
don'
twor
ryabout
here.
Theybot
hwentt otheki
dsroom andcame
backhol
dingNeliandSi
yawitht
hem and
Mnqobiwalki
ngli
keheisgoingt
of al
lbecause
hewassti
llsl
eepy.
Mnqobi
:
Siy
aphi
?(wher
ear
ewegoi
ng)
Cl
air
e:Let
'sgo,
wewi
l
lseey
ouguy
s.
Theywalkedoutt hedoorandMi kewas
clear
ingthetabl
e,Ijustlef
thi
mt hereandwent
tomyr oom becauseIdon'tunderstandal
lthi
s
dramahei smaking, sendi
ngmyki dsoff
withoutt
alkingtome, Iguessit
sbecauseheis
the"manoft hehouse"heget stodowhatever
makesMi kehappy. Iwalkedint
omyr oom and
satattheedgeoft hebedandhecamei n
minuteslaterandlockedthedoorandhonestl
y
I'
mi nnomoodf orhistact
ics.
Mi
ke:
YouaKhumal
onow?
Si
l
ence
Mi
ke:
Soy
oucan'
ttal
k?
Hei
sreal
l
ypi
ssi
ngmeof
f.
Mike:ohhhthefactt
hatyouhavea5mill
i
on
r
ingony ourfi
ngerdoesn'
tmatt
erort
hatIam
yourhusband.
Me:
Cany
ouj
ustgett
oyourpoi
ntofal
loft
his.
Mike:Idon'
tknowwhaty ouwant,
eversi
nceI
camebackf rom t
hehospit
aly
ou'v
ebeenoff
cycl
eespeciall
ywit
hme.
Me:
Stopt
ryi
ngt
ocont
rol
ever
ythi
ngt
hisi
snot
theuni
t,i
tsacompani
onshipmeaningIal
so
haveasayinwhatgoesaroundt
hishouseand
ourfi
nances.
Mike:Fi
neIwillt
rytochangemywaysbutIam
damnsur enotchangi
ngmymi ndaboutt
he
house.
Me:Thi
sisexact
lywhatImean,
sowhaty
ou
buy
inganot
herhouse?
Mike:No,
youaregoi
ngtocancel
the
t
ransacti
onandI'
l
lpayf
orit.
Me:Youar
eimpossibl
e,whatam Isupposet
o
dowit
hmymoneyt hen?
Mike:What
every
ouwantt
odobutnotbuy
ing
ourhouse.
Me: Soinotherwor
dsI'
m at
rophywif
ewhois
stupidandmustspendmoneyandisgood
enought obeahousewif
e.
Mi
ke:
Inev
ersai
dthat
,st
ayi
ngathomewasy
our
choi
ceInev
eraskedy
ouf
ort
hat
.
Me:
What
everj
ustl
eav
emeal
one.
Mike: Okayt
hat'
sitIam t
ir
edoft hi
s,whyar
e
youlikethi
sit
'sl
ikeyoucan'tst
andbeing
aroundmef oralongti
me.
Me:
May
bey
ouannoymet
hat
'
swhy.
Imovedupt
hebedandl
aidonmybackandI
j
ustwant
edtosl
eep.
Me:
Andcl
oset
hedoorony
ourwayout.
Hedi dn'trespondt ot hatandIcl osedmyey es
andsuddenl yIfel
tmyl egsbei ngroughly
separatedandbef oreIcoul dsaysomet hingI
fel
thist onguesl i
ppingt hroughmycl itandI
couldn'thelpbutmoanIhav en'tf
eltt
his
sensationi nfor
ev er.Hekeepsgoi ngeatingt he
hel
loutofmeandf ingeringmewi thhishand
anditfeelsamazi ngbutIcanf eelmyor gasm
buil
dingupandhest opsandheknowsIhat eit
whenhedoest hat.Hecomesbackupt omy
f
ace.
Mike:Idon'
tknowwherethisat
tit
udeofyours
i
scomi ngfr
om butIam notabouttoent
ert
ainit
gotit
?
Me:
Mhhh
If
elthi
speni
sent
eri
ngi
nsi
deofme,
Idi
dn'
t
ev
enknowhewasnaked.
Me:
Mhhhhuhh
Mi
ke:
Tel
lmewheni
'
m hur
ti
ngt
hebaby.
Me:
justmov
eal
ready!
!
Hehel dmyl egsupwhi l
ehewasonhi sknees
thrusti
ngdeeperandf asteri
ntomeandt his
wasbyf arthemostamazi ngsexever,t
hank
Godt hekidsar enother ebecausethemoans
mymout hisr el
easingIcannotevenrecogni se
orcont r
ol .
Myor gasm ishereandhei smov i
ng
fasterandgr abthesheet sascum alloverhis
penisbuthedoesn' tstophekeepst hrusting
andIcan'
ttakei
tanymoreIusemyhandt
opul
l
hi
m outandhefall
snexttomeandweboth
tr
yingt
ocatchourbreat
hsashepl
aceshi
s
handonmyt ummy .
Mi
ke:
Youokay
?
Me:
Mhhhy
es,
thatwasamazi
ng.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
Mi
ke:
Youdo?
Me:
Whyar
eyoudoubt
ingi
t?
Mike:
Becauseyougetmadatmef
or
ev
erythi
ngIsay.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Mike:
ItsokaybabybutI
'
llbegl
adwhent
his
babyi
shere.
Me:
That
'snotf
unny.
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
lett
hehouset
hingsl
i
debutnot
hing
l
i
ket
hisi
shappeni
ngagai
n.
Me:
Real
l
y!!
!
Isai
dgetti
ngont
opofhim andki
ssi
nghi
m al
l
overhi
sfacewhi
chIknowhehates.
Mi
ke:
Stopory
ouwi
l
lmakemechangemy
mi
nd.
[
04/
27,
22:
22]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT49
Li
l
ian

Mike:Li
li
anIam gi
vi
ngy
ou10mor
emi
nut
es
andthat
sit.
!!
!!
Heshoutsfr
om downst
air
sandhej
ustget
son
mylastner
vesli
kehehasbeenf
ort
hepast
weeks,hei
sinsi
sti
ngontaki
ngmeoutf
orlunch
andtrustmet hatwouldbewonder f
uli
fonlyI
wasnotf atasanelephantwithswoll
enfeet's
.Wemov edintoournewhouseandheact ual
ly
l
ikesitanditsnotall
glassl
iketheprevi
ousone
,it
sfr
iendlyfortheki
dsandhasapl aygroundat
thebackoutsideandnosecr etpl
acesIdon't
knowabout.
Iputonmyshoesandheaddownstai
rsandhe
wasalreadyst
andi
ngbyt
hestai
rcaseswait
ing
onme.
Mi
ke:
Atl
ast
!!,
youl
ookni
ce.
Me:Nice?
?It
'sy
ourf
aul
ti'
mthi
sugl
ysodeal
wi
thit.
Mi
ke:
Inev
ersai
dyouugl
y.
Me:Isti
lldon'
tknowwhywearegoi
ngoutf
or
l
unch,Ihavefoodinmyfr
idge.
Mi
ke:
Ihav
en'
ttakeny
ououti
nfor
ever
.
Me:
Trynev
er,
theonl
yti
mey
ouev
ert
ookme
outi
swheny
ouwer
est
il
ltr
yingt
ogetundermy
pant
s.
Mike:Iam t
ryi
ngtochangeallt
hat,FYIIwas
nottryi
ngtogetunderyourpant
s,Iwast r
ying
togettoyourhear
t.
Me:
What
evercanwegonow?
Mi
ke:
Sur
e,l
eadt
heway.
Iwalkedoutofthedoorandhewasr ightbehind
meandwhenIsawt hathewasgoingtodr i
ve
ther
anger overIl
ookedathim wit
hast ank,he
knowsv er
ywel lt
hatthi
scari
st oohi
ghf orme
tocl
imboni t.
Mi
ke:
Bef
orey
oucussmeout,
I
'l
lhel
pyou.
Hesayshel
pingmesitdownandhegoest
ohi
s
si
deandstar
tsdri
vi
ng.
Me:
Iwasnotgoi
ngt
ocussy
ouout
.
Mi
ke:
Idi
dn'
twantt
otaket
hechance.
Me:
Am It
hatmeant
oyou?
Mi
ke:
Notal
lti
mesbuty
ouhav
eyourmoment
s.
Me:
(ki
ssi
nghi
scheek)Iam sor
ry.
Mi
ke:
It'
sokay,
weal
mosther
e.
Me:
Please,
I
'mr
eal
l
yuncomf
ort
abl
eint
hiscar.
Wesati nsil
encefortheremainingt i
meont he
roadandhepar kedinfrontofsomer est
uruant
andhehel pedmeoutandwewal kedi nand
theydirectedusinourtablewhichhadani ce
romanticset t
ingbutIhavetimef orthatri
ght
nowIam hungr y.Hehelpedmesi tdownand
weor deredourmeal s.
Mi
ke:
Youokay
?
Ithi
nkheisaski
ngthatbecauseofthepainin
myf ace,
Ihav
ebeenhav i
ngmi norcont
ract
ions
buttheycomeandgo.
Me:
Iam okay
,thi
sisni
cet
hanky
ou.
Mike:Look(
holdingmyhands)Iknowy ouwi
ll
neveradmitittomebutIknowt hatt
hishas
beenthemosthor r
ibl
emar ri
ageev erfr
om
whenitbegantil
lallt
herecentthingsthathave
happened,andIpromiseyouwi thour
anni
versar
yin4day sallt
hatwi l
lchangeIwi l
l
makeitupt oyouandt hi
swillactual
lybethe
marri
agethatIknowy oudesire.
Me: Youri
ght,
ithasn'
tbeenthebestmarr
iage
butitmadeusandourl ovestr
ongersoI
'
lltake
thatastheval
uablethi
ngthatcameoutofour
fi
rstyeari
nmar r
iage.
Mike:
Thereissomet
hingel
set
hatIwantt
otal
k
youabout.
Me:
What?
Mike:Iwasgoingt
hroughsomeofour
documentsandsomet hingcaughtmyey
eson
thetwinsbi
rt
hcert
if
icates.
Wai
ter
:Youmeal
s,cal
li
fyouneedany
thi
ngel
se
.
Me:
Thanky
ou,
soy
ouwer
esay
ingbabe?
Mi
ke:
Thel
astnameoft
het
wins,
Me:
Whatabouti
t?
Mike:Lil
i
any ouareaDi mbanowandt heyst
il
l
usi
ngKhumal o,
nowIr espectyourdecisi
ons
butthosearemyki dsandt heyaresupposeto
havemyl astname.
Me:Ohhokay,
youshoul
dhavejustaskedI
don'
thav
eaprobl
em wit
hthat.
Mi
ke:
Youbei
ngni
cer
ightnow.
Me:
Wantmet
ochange?
Mi
ke:
No
Me:
Thoughtso.
.
.
Mi
ke
Imustsaythi
slunchisgoi
nggreatbecauseshe
hasn'
tfoundanyt
hingtobeangr
yatmeabout
butsomethi
ngi
sbother
ingme,shekeeps
winci
ngandshi
ft
ingi
nherchai
rbutwhenI
questi
onshewavesi
toff.
Li
l
y:Ineedt
ouset
her
est
room ,
excuseme.
Inodmyheadbutasshest andsupshecr eams
andbalancesonthetabl
eholdingherbel
l
yand
ever
yoneisnowl ooki
ngatus,Ijumpoutfr
om
mysittoherside.
Li
l
y:OhhmyGod!
!!
!Wai
t.
..
.Uhhh.
Me:What
sgoingon?andwhyar
eyouwet
ti
ng
ony
oursel
f?
Manager
:Issheokay?
Lil
y:(
shout
s)Iam notpeei
ngonmyselfyou
fool!
!!
That
smyfuckingwaterbr
eaki
ng!!
!
Me:Younotgoingtoi
nsul
tme,
whatdoy
ou
meanyourwater..
.
Li
ly:(
scr
eams)
ohhhhhh,
getmet
othef
ucken
hospi
tal
.
Lady:Mov
e,shei
sinlabour.
Gett
hecart
othe
doorandwewil
lhel
pherout.
Me:
What
!!
!!
!Shei
shav
ingt
hebabynow?
Li
l
y:JUSTGODAMMI
T!!
!!
Irushoutsi
deandbr
oughtt
hecarar
oundl
i
ke
theladi
estol
dmeandtheyhel
pedheri
nonthe
backsit.
Lady
:Letmegowit
hyou,
dri
vet
othehospi
tal
nowreal
lyf
ast.
Li
l
y:wheeewwohhhhmyGodi
thur
ts.
!!
!
Lady
:Tr
ybr
eat
hingi
nandout.
Li
l
y:Thi
sbabyi
scomi
ngnow!
!!
!
Idroveasf astasIcouldandIcouldseethe
paininLil
ian'
sf aceandallt
hescreamingand
thi
sbr eat
hinginexcerci
sedidn'
tseem tobe
working,Idon'tevenknowwhot hi
sladyisbut
thankGodshei sherebecauseIcert
ainl
y
wouldn'tknowwhatt odo. Wearri
vedinthe
hospit
ali
nlesst
han30minut
esandthey
rushedheri
nthedel
i
ver
yroom andIf
oll
owed
behindher.
Lady
:I'
m goi
ngt
ogonow,
I
'vedonemypar
t.
Me:Thanky
ousomuch,
Idi
dn'
tev
engety
our
name?
Lady:I
'
m Thandybutal
lthatdoesn'
tmat
ter
,
ri
ghtnowgotoher.
Iwal
kedtothedel
i
veryroom andshewasst
il
l
i
npainbutt
hedoctorwashere.
Dr:
Lil
i
any oust
il
lon6cm di
l
ati
onandy
ouknow
t
hedril
l.
Lil
y:mhhh6?Ohhmygod,
thatcan'
tbeIneed
thebabyoutnow!
!!
Dr:MrDimbapleasekeephercal
m sheshoul
d
bereadyinanhourbutIgav
ehersomethi
ngto
easythepai
n.
Me:
Alr
ight
.
Thedoctorlef
tandforawhi l
eshewasokay
andthenboom shestartedscreamingagain
andcussingmeoutathowt hisismyfaultand
howshei sneverhavi
ngsexwi thmewhi chtook
mebysur pri
sebecauseshei sthesexaddict
morethanme, wewillseehowl ongthatwill
l
ast.
Thedoct
orcamei
nwithtwonursesandtold
metowearsomehospi
talgownsandgloves.
Dr:Yourdi
l
ati
oni
sokay
,your
eadyt
opusht
his
babyoutofyou?
Li
l
y:Yes!
!!
!
Dr
:Okay
,Mi
kepi
cky
ourposi
ti
on.
Me:
(conf
used)Whatposi
ti
on?
Dr
:Choosewhetheryoustandri
ghther
enex
tto
meandholdherfootorholdherhand.
Li
ly
:UhhhhwheeewHEI
STAKI
NGTHEFOOT
ALRIGHT!
!!
Me:
What
?,Idi
dn'
tchooset
hat.
Li
ly:
(shouts)Boyli
stenher
e,y
ouputt
hisbaby
i
nsidemenowy ouaregoi
ngtowat
chitcome
outGOTI T?
Mi
ke:
Cry
stal
.
Imov ednexttothedoctorandheopenherl egs
andshet ol
dmet oholddownherl eg.She
start
edscreamingreal
lyhardnowandshewas
sweatingandpushingbutnothingwas
happeningandherfacewast urni
ngredthis
wasnobr eakingmeshei sinsomuchpai n.She
threwhersel
fbackontot hebedswearingthat
shecan'tdoitandhercrieswereget
tingtome.
Me:Thi
sist
oomuch,
can'
tyoudosomet
hing
el
se.
Dr:
Siry
ounothel
ping.
Me:
Butt
hat
'sm.
..
..
Li
l
y:SHUTUP!
!!
Sheroseupagai nwi ththehel poft henurse
andstartedpushingagai nandt hi swasmyf i
rst
ti
meev erdoingthisandseei ngt hetipofthe
baby'
sheadonherv aginaalmostmademe
passoutandt hef actthatshei sswear i
ngat
mer i
ghtnowi snothel ping.Shekeptpushi ng
andtheheadwasoutbutal lIcoul dseeright
nowwasal lt
hebloodcomi ngoutofherand
thedoctortoldhertopushonel astti
meand
shedidandt hedoct ortookoutt hebabyandit
wascryingsosqueakyandIl ookedatLi l
ianshe
wasbreat hi
ngheav il
y.
Dr
:Congrat
ulat
ion'
s!!
!you'
vej
ustgi
venbi
rt
hto
ababyboy.
Iwalkedovertot
hedoctorandt heywerestil
l
cl
eaninghi
m upandaf t
erthattheygavethe
babytomeandIi nst
antl
yfeltsomuchf orthis
l
it
t l
emanandhewassot i
nywhi chconfuses
meonwhyLi l
i
an'
sbell
ywassobi g.Thebaby
start
edtocryandthedoct
ort ol
dmet ohand
hi
mt oLil
i
anandIdidandsheimmediately
breastf
edhim andhewasquietandIcouldn't
helpbutjustst
areathi
m asLil
i
ankeptplaying
withhisti
nyhand.
Me:
Thanky
ouf
orgi
vi
ngmeanot
herbaby.
Li
l
y:Atl
easthel
ooksl
i
kemef
ornow.
Me:
(laughs)Thatwasscar
ythough.
.
Li
l
y:Whatwas?
Me:Seeingt
hebabycomingoutofy ourvagi
na
l
ikethat,
Imeanyouusual
lyt
ightsof orawhole
headtocomeoutther
ewasf reaky
,howdidyou
doit
?
Li
l
y:ThesamewayIputy
ourdi
cki
nsi
dei
t.
Me:
Ouchh
Li
l
y :Youthi
nkthisi
sfr
eaky
?thet
winswer
etwo
minutesapart.
Me:
Hei
sper
fect.
Li
l
y:Iknow.
Wekeptl ooki
ngatthi
stinycreat
ureandi twas
fasci
natinghowyoujusthavethi
sinstant
undeniablel
oveandneedtopr ot
ectthischil
d.
Li
l
y:Sowhatar
eyounami
nghi
m?
Me:
Mzi
wonkeDi
mba.
Li
l
y:Younotnami
ngmybabyt
hat!
!
Me:Comeon, heget
stocar
rythenamethatmy
mothert
reasur
esandIhar
dlyeverusei
t.We
wi
ll
callhi
m Mj.
Li
l
y:FineIam onl
yagr
eei
ngbecauseIl
ovey
our
mother.
Me:
Youdon'
tl
oveme?
Li
l
y:Somet
imes.
Me:Welly
ouar egoi
ngtolov
emef
orev
erf
or
whatIam goi
ngtotel
lyou.
Li
l
y:What
?
Me:
Aft
erseei
ngal
lthatI
'v
ejustseentodayand
t
hepai
nyouwerei
n,thi
sisourlastbaby.
Li
l
y:Don'
tpl
aywi
thme.
Me:Iam not,
Mziwonkei
sthel
astone.
Soy
ou
candoyourprecedur
e.
Li
l
y:Comeher
e.
Imovedtoherandshegrabbedmyfaceandwe
bot
hleanedinforaki
ssandkissedf
orabouta
twominutes.
Li
ly:
Ilov
eyouandt
hanky
ouf
orgi
vi
ngmea
son.
Me:
Letmecal
lthef
ami
l
y.
Li
ly
: No,
notnow.oncetheygether
eIwon'
t
havemybabytomyself.
Me:Okay
,butIdohaveaquesti
on.Whodi
dyou
cur
seduri
ngthetwi
nsbecausether
ewerea
l
otsofwordsthr
ownmyway .
Li
l
y:Fucky
ou!
!
Me:It
houghty
ousai
dyounev
erhav
ingsex
wi
thme?
Shelookedatmewi t
hpuppyeyesandwebot
h
burstoutl
aughi
ng,Il
ovemywifesomuchand
theplansIhav
eforherwi
lldef
ini
tel
ypr
ovemy
l
ov etoher.
[
04/
27,
22:
22]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT50
Li
l
ian
Mj hasbeensuchabl essi
ngandanAngel and
i
tsbeen3weekssi nceIcamehomewi thhim
andheisacool ,cal
m andcol l
ectedkidwho
everhardlycr
iesunlesshei shungryorneeda
nappychange. Hebroughtsomuchat tenti
ont o
ourfamilyandIam annoy edwithit,f
orinstance
Mar i
astaysherenowandIdon' tknowwhen
sheisgoingbackhome, andmybr ot hersand
Jessmaynotl i
veherebuttheyher eev eryday.I
l
ov eandappr eci
atethem al
lbutIneedt hem
outofmyspacei tsl
ikeIcan'
tbreathei nmy
ownhouseal thought heyar
eofgr eathel pwith
theotherkids.Clai
realsohasret
ur nedbackt o
LondonalthoughThomashasandy essheal so
l
iveshere.
Don'tevengetmest ar
tedonMikebecauseI
haveraisedthi
sissuewithhi
m butheseemst o
l
ikeitbecausehehasn'tdoneanyt
hingwithi
t
,andhei sal
way swit
hthekidsl
ikehedidn'
t
real
i
sebef or
ethathelovedthem.
Iwalkdownst ai
rsandi
t'
slunchtimeandli
ke
usual
lyeveryoneisher
eandt heysi
tt
ingonthe
tabl
eoutsidechatti
ngandlaughi
ngandIneed
them outofhere.
MikehasMjonhishandsIswearhewakeshi
m
upbecausehewassleepi
ng30minut
esago.
Mi
ke:
Heybaby!
!!
Me:
Mhhhi
.
Hel ooksatmewi t
hquestioningeyesbutno
onenot i
cesbecausetheybusyt al
king.
He
standsupandcomesmydi rect
ionandMj
startscryi
ngandtheyall
standupl ooki
ngat
Mike, t
hisismadnessforreal.
Mari
a:Gi
vememygr
andbaby,
youmaki
nghi
m
cr
y.
Cl
aire:
Ibethei
sgoi
ngt
obequi
etwi
thhi
s
si
ster.
Anditbegi
ns,nowt
heyal
lar
gui
ngonwhohas
themagicpowerwi
thhi
m.
Me:
(shout
s)Hey!
!!
!Youareal
lmaki
ngnoi
se,
I
wi
ll
takemychil
d.Mikecanwetal
k?
Isai
dtaki
ngMj i
nmyar msandMikeandI
headedupst
air
sinourbedr
oom andIl
aidMj
down.
Me:
I'
vehadi
t,Iwantt
hem outt
omor
row.
Mi
ke:
Who?
Me:
Ever
yone,
i
ncl
udi
ngy
ourmot
her!
!
Mi
ke:
Butt
heyher
et.
..
.
Me:
Idon'
tcar
e,Ineedmyspaceandmyhouse
t
omyself.
Mi
ke:
It'
sni
cehav
ingt
hem ar
ound,
whyar
ey.
..
.
Me:OhhhmyGodyounotheari
ngme, Ihav
e
beensay
ingt
hesamethi
ngforovert
woweeks.
Mike:Becauseyoubeingsel
fi
sh,t
heywantt
o
spendtimewiththebabyandalsohel
pingy
ou.
Me:
Hel pi
ngme??
?Wi t
hwhat?Becauseal
lI
f
eelr
ightnowi
sbeingcrowded.
Mi
ke:
Yout
ell
them t
hen.
Me:Youal
sogetti
ngonmyner
veswi
tht
his
ki
dshover
ingst
uff.
Mi
ke:
Itsnotacr
imepay
ingat
tent
iont
othe
ki
ds.
Me:Iti
swheny
ounegl
ect
ingme,
youpayno
at
tenti
ont
omeatal
l.
Mike:
Butbabythat
'sforbot
hofus,
thi
snosex
t
hingisnotwor
kingforme.
Me:I'
m nottal
kingaboutnodamnsex,When
wasthelastti
mey oukissedmeorev
encuddle
wit
hme?Youal waysbusywitht
hekidsor
chat
ti
ngupast orm wit
ht hef
ami
ly.
Mike:Youshoul
dhav
etol
dmet
hat
'
showy
ou
f
eel .
Me:Ihavebeenbutyounotget
ti
ngt
he
messageli
keri
ghtnow.
Mike:
OnemoreweekthenIwil
ltel
lthem t
o
l
eave,i
tski
ndofni
cehavi
ngthem ar
ound.
Me:
Jesus!
!!am It
alki
ngt
oawal
l?That
'
sit!
!
IgrabbedMjandheadedbackdownst
air
swi
th
Mikebehindme,heannoysmesometi
mes
becausehecanber
eall
yandImeanr
eal
l
ysl
ow
atti
mewhenIneedhismascul
i
neand
contr
oll
i
ngside.
Iwalkbacktothef
ami
l
yandt
heywer
eal
lbusy
wit
ht hei
rphones.
Me:
Good,
Ineedy
ourat
tent
ion!
!!
Theyallt
urnedtol
ookatmeandMikewas
standi
ngnexttomewithhi
shandsi
nhis
pocket.
Me:Ma, l
etmest ar
twithyou.
YouknowIl ove
andappreciatey
ousomuchandy ouhavebeen
bestbutIthinky
ourhusbandmissesyou.
Mari
a:(
laughs)Yourwi
fei
snowl
oosi
ngi
t,y
ou
ki
cki
ngmeout?
Me:Yes,Cl
air
eyouhaveahusbandnowst
art
act
ingl
ikeit.
Iwantyououtofher
e.
Cl
air
e:Ma!
!!
Me:
Don'
tev
enst
art,
andt
her
estofy
oual
l
theseregul
arvi
sit
sar
est
oppi
ngt
oday.
Youar
e
allsuf
focat
ingme.
Mari
a:I
'
venev
erheardthi
sbef
ore,
wetryi
ngto
hel
pyouandyouki
cki
ngusout.Mikey
ou. .
..
..
Me: Hei sfiv
emi nut
estobeingki
ckedout
too.LookIknowwi t
hthetwi
nsIwasinneedof
helpandy ouall
didhelpmebutIam fi
nethi
s
ti
mear oundandMi keisher
eandifIneedhel
pI
will
cal lbutri
ghtnowIneedspaceforMY
fami l
y.
Mar
ia:
That
'smycuet
oleav
ethen!
!!
Me:
Ma,
Idi
dnotmeani
mmedi
atel
y.
Maria:
Don'
twor
ryaboutme,
I
'l
lbeoutofy
our
space.
Shesai dst
andi
ngupandleavi
ng,mumbl
ing
somet hi
ngbutIdon'
tcar
eri
ghtnowIwant
them out.
Jess:
Wear
eonourwayt
oo!
!
Idon'
tknowwhytheytakingt hi
spersonaland
outofpropor
ti
onbecauset hi
sisaninnocent
pl
eaformyspaceandt here'snocri
mei nthat.
Theyallt
ooktheirbagsandl ef
tandMi kehas
notsaidanyt
hingtome, hejustkeepslooki
ng
atme. Mari
acamebackaf ewmi nutesback
withhersmallsui
tcaseandshedi dnotonce
evenlookatme, t
hisisweir
d. WhatdidIdo
wrong?
Mi
ke:
Yougoi
ngt
obeal
ri
ght?
Maria:Yeahdon'
twor
ryaboutme,Iwi
ll
be
vi
sit
ingmysisterf
orawhil
ethough.
Mike:
Alri
ght,
youandDadneedt
otal
kthough
andsortt
hisout.
Mari
a:Thi
sist
hepar
twher
eyoust
ayoutofmy
busi
ness.
Mi
ke:
Fine,
gowel
lthen.
Shel
eftwi
thoutsay
ingany
thi
ngt
omeandMi
ke
wasst
il
lnotsay
ingathi
ngbutIneedt
oknow
whatt
heyweretal
ki
ngabout.
Me:
Whatar
etheysor
ti
ngout?
Mi
ke:
Thei
rbusi
ness.
Me:
Soy
ougoi
ngt
okeepmeguessi
ng?
Mike:LookthereasonIdidn'
twanttotel
lhert
o
l
eavei sbecausesheneededtheti
meaway
fr
om Dadandbei ngheremadeherf or
getabout
herissues.
Me:
Whati
ssues?
Mi
ke:
Mji
ssl
eepi
ng.
Me:
Mzi
wonke!
!
Mike:Theroyalcounsel againraisedtheissue
ofmydadnothav ingar oyalwifeandi fheis
notwi l
l
ingtotakeanot herwi f
etheywi ll
removehim andall hi
sbusi nessesthatare
rel
atedtothethroan.Sot heyhav ebeenf i
ghti
ng
becauseofthatbecausemydadi sactual
ly
consi
der
ingt
aki
ngt
heWi
fe.
Me:
Whendi
dal
lthi
shappened?
Mi
ke:
Aft
erIcamebackf
rom t
hehospi
tal
.
Me:
Andy
oudi
dn'
tthi
nkIshoul
dknow?
Mike:
Idi
dn'twantyout ost
ressandmymom
doesn'
tl
ikeherbusinessbeingknownby
ever
yone.
Me:
I'
m ev
ery
one?
Mike:Li
li
anwear
enotaboutt
oargueabout
t
his,Ihavet
omeetupwit
hThabi
sa.
Me:Iam notargui
ng,
al
lIam sayi
ngi
syou
coul
dhavetoldmeallt
hisbef
oreIdi
dwhatI
j
ustdid.
Mi
ke:
Thabi
sai
scomi
ngov
erf
ordi
nnert
oni
ght.
Me:
mhhhk
Mike:Thatal
soneedst
obedealtwit
h,Li
l
ian
t
hatismychildandwecannotdothi
s
ever
yti
meshehast
ocomeher
e.Thi
sisher
hometoo.
Me:AndIneverquesti
onedt
hatbutIwi
ll
not
st
andbeingdisr
espect
edbyherandyoubei
ng
obl
iv
ioustoherbehavi
our.
Mike:
Iam st
il
ltr
yingt
obui
l
dar
elat
ionshi
pwi
th
t
hischil
d.
Me:Sowhat
?Yougoi
ngt
oletherdowhat
ever
shewant
s?
Mike:That
'snotwhatIam say
ing,
butj
ustt
ryt
o
contai
nyourtamperformysake.
Me:
Iam goi
ngt
oputMj
tohi
snur
ser
y.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyou.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
(ki
sseshi
m)
Mi
ke:
Youdo?
Me: Ihatewheny oudothat,ever
ytimewe
argueordisagreeonsomet hingyoust
art
askingforassurance.
Mi
ke:
Ido?
Me:Yesandnomatt
erhowwefightmylov
efor
youst
aysthesame,
well
mostoftheti
me.
Mi
ke:
Sowheni
sthi
snosexper
iodendi
ng?
Me:
(l
aughs)Iwi
l
ltel
lyouwheni
t'
sov
er.
Mi
ke:
Okay,
I
'l
lseey
oul
aterMakhumal
o.
Me:
Alr
ightbaby.
Hetookhiskeysandlef
tandItookMjtohis
nur
seryandIneedtocallmaMarthabecauseI
havetopi
ckupt heki
dsinschooli
nafewhours
andIdon'
tknowhowl ongMikewill
be.
Iwalkbackintomyroom andthere'sared
envel
opont hebedandIopenitandcarkey s
dropfr
om itandi'
minst
antlypuzzledandIread
thenoteonit.
"YousaidIowedyouacarf
orput
ti
ngupwith
meandt hekids.
Ilov
eyouWif
eandit
'si
nthe
garage.
"
WaitIsai
dthatwhenhewasi
nthehospi
tal
,I
t
ookoutmyphoneandheansweredonthefir
st
r
ing.
Me:Justabouthowmuchdi
dyouhearwhen
youwerealmostdead?
Mike:
"al
mostdead?(
laughs)That'
sformeto
knowdearwif
ebutIdidsayIwill
giveyoual
l
youdesi
reandImeantit.
"
Me:
ComebackIhav
esomet
hingf
ory
ou.
Mike:"Sorr
ymyl
ove,
butwhat
everi
tisIwi
l
lget
i
tlater."
Me:
Itper
spi
res!
!
Mi
ke:
"Don'
tpl
aywi
thme.
"
Me:Il
ovey
ouandt
hanky
ouf
ort
hecar,
l
etme
gol
ookati
t.
Mi
ke:
"Pl
easedon'
tscr
eam byy
oursel
f,
lov
eyou
[
04/
27,
22:
18]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT51
Li
l
ian
TodayIhav eonemi ssiononlyandt hatistofi
x
thingswithmymot herinlawbecauseIwasa
l
ittl
ebitharshconsideri
nghersi t
uationri
ght
now. IwalkdownstairsandMaMar thawas
alreadyherebecauseIcalledtolookaf t
erthe
kidsformeandshehadpr eparedbreakfastand
I'
m guessingwi t
hthehelpofThabi sa,sheslept
her el
astnightandshewasr espectf
ul.
Me:
Mor
ning!
!
Mi
ke:
Mor
ningbaby
(ki
ssesme)
Mar
tha:
Mor
ningbaby
.
Thabi
saandtheki
dsal
sogreet
edandMike
wasstar
ti
nghiscl
i
ngyt
endenci
es,
standi
ng
behi
ndmehol
dingonmywai
st.
Mi
ke:
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng,
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Me:
Thanks,
wel
lthatdependsony
ou.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Me: Wel
lyoumywonder
fulhusbandar
egoing
totel
lmewherey
ourmotherisandI'
mv i
sit
ing
her.
Mike:What?No,Iam notgett
ingmysel
fin
tr
oubl
ewi t
hmom. Iknowy ouandyougoi
ngto
askheraboutdad.
Me:Iwon'
t,
Ij
ustwantt
omaket
hingsr
ightwi
th
her.
Mi
ke:
For
geti
t!
Itur
nedaroundandfacedhi
m andwhisper
ed
somethi
nginhisearsandIknowther
eisno
wayheisgoingtoturnmedown.
Mi
ke:
Thati
spur
ebl
ackmai
l!
!
Me:
Soam Iget
ti
ngt
headdr
ess?
Mi
ke:
Fine.
Ismil
edandkissedhim andInoti
cedMart
ha
l
ookingatuswithasmileonherfacesodid
Thabisa,
i
nallhonest
yIhaveforgi
venThabi
sa
butIwanttokeepheratarmslengthf
ornow.
Mart
ha:
Youknowi
tsamaz
ingt
owat
cht
het
wo
ofy
ouli
ket
his.
Mi
ke:
Ma?
Martha:
Thi
s,bei
nghappyandall
.I
t'
sli
key
oui
n
yourownworl
dkeepitli
kethat.
Me:Andyouhav
eputupwi
thal
lourmadness
,t
hankyou.
Mar
tha:
Iknowt
ruel
ovewhenIseei
t.
Mi
ke:
Andshei
smyl
i
fe.
Me:
Wai
t!!wher
eismybaby?
Thabi
sa:
Hei
sst
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
Me:
Okay,
l
etseatIam hungr
y.
Mi
ke:
Kidscomeeat
!!
!
Myt hreerascalscamerunningt
othet
able,
I
sti
llf
inditfunnythatwhentheyhav
etogoto
school t
heyal l
grumpyinthemorni
ngbuton
Saturdayst heysohyper.
Weall
satdownandstar
tedeat
ingandt
he
t
winswer
einthei
rsmall
tabl
e.
Mnqobi
:Mom ,
youcomi
ngt
odad'
sweddi
ng?
Me:Yesbaby
,wi
l
lnotmi
ssseei
ngmybabyi
na
sui
t.
Mi
ke:
Youar
e?
Me:
Yes,
webot
har
e!
Mike:
Yougoi
ngt
oyourex
'sweddi
ngt
hat
'
ski
nd
ofawkwar
d.
Il
ookedathim andMaMar t
hawassli
ghtl
y
l
aughingIthi
nkbecauseshesawwhatI '
m
seei
ng,Mike'
sinsecur
it
iescomeregul
arl
ylat
ely
buti
tsgoodt
oknowheget
sshakeni
nhi
s
boot
s.
Me:
Hecamet
oour
s.
Mi
ke:
That
'sdi
ff
erent.
Me:YoucrazybutIl
oveyou,(
standi
ngup)let
meseemybabyi nthemeantimewr i
tedown
t
headdress.
Mnqobiyourdadsaidhewil
lfetch
youl
ater.
Mnqobi
:Al
ri
ghtmoomy,
Il
ovey
ou.
Me:Mnqobi
angi
nay
oimal
i
(Idon'
thav
emoney
)
!!
Theyal
ll
aughedout.
Mnqobi
:Mom Iam 7andhal
f,Ishoul
dbe
hav
inganal
l
owance.
Me:ExcusemeMrall
owance,
whatdoy
ou
knowaboutal
l
owance?
Mi
ke:
Myboyl
ett
hisonego,
youwi
l
lnev
erwi
n.
Me:
Andt
heysayl
i
steni
ngi
saski
l
l.
Mnqobi
:(pushespl
ate)Thi
sisnotfai
r,my
f
ri
endshavemoneyandIdon't.!
!!
Me:fi
rst
lythat'smypl at
eIpaidforit,
andi fyou
i
namoodf ory ourt
ant r
umsy ouhavey our
r
oom.IwillgiveyouallowancewhenIf eel l
ike
youneedit,nowf i
nishyourfoodunlessy ou
wanttofi
ndy ourselfinthenaughtycornert he
whol
eday.
Mnqobi
:Yesmom.
Me:
Good.
Iwalkedupst ai
rswithoutlookingatMi ke
becausehedoesn' tli
kei twhenIr eprimandt he
ki
dsbutoneofushast obecausei fitwasupt o
hi
mt hi
skidswoul dgetawaywi t
hev erythi
ng. I
walkedinthenur ser
yandMj wasst i
llsleeping,I
ki
sseshi sforeheadandhesl ight l
ymov edbut
wentbackt ohi ssl
eep. Heisst art
ingtol ook
mor eli
keMi kebutIalreadyknewt hatwas
goingtohappen.Iwal
kedbackdownstairswi
th
mybagandMi kegavemeapi eceofpaperwi
th
theaddressandIgavehim ahugandhishands
wentdownt omyass, I
'
llbegl
adwhent hi
s
weeki soversot
hatIcanhavesexwithmy
man, col
dshowersarekil
li
nghim.
Mi
ke:
Thi
sist
ort
ure.
Me:
Iknowbaby,
(ki
sses)by
eIl
ovey
ou.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oobaby.
Ikissedt hekidswellexceptMnqobi because
hewasst il
linhisfeeli
ngs,Iwal
kedoutand
drovemynewcarandaf t
er45minutesIhad
arri
vedi nthisbighousei nThembisa,shesure
i
sMar ia'
ssistertheirtastei
ssimil
arbutIsti
ll
fi
ndi tratherweirdthatshehasnev er
ment ionedhav i
ngasi sterort
hatIneversaw
her.
Ipar
kedoutsi
deandrangt
hegatei
ntercom and
whenItol
dtheladywhoIwassheopenedthe
gat
e.ThedooropenandIcamefacetoface
wit
hMaria'
srepl
i
catewow,sosheisan
I
denti
calt
win.
?
??:
Hi,
I
'm Zol
eka.
Me:
Hi,
i
tsni
cet
omeety
ou.
Zol
eka:
Nicetomeetmynephewswif
etoo,
I
hav
etogothoughshei
sinthel
ounge.
Me:
Alr
ight.
ShewalkedoutandIwalkedintothelounge
anditwasr eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.IswearIal
mostlost
mymar bleswhenIsawMar iaweari
ng
sweatpantsandshelookedhorri
ble.
Me:
Ma!
!!
Mari
a:Youki
ckedmeoutofy
ourhouse,
now
youf
oll
owingme.
Idon'
tknowhowtoreacttot
his,
becauseshei
s
alway
sinajoll
ymoodandhappybuttoseeher
thi
sknockeddownbreaksmyhear
t.
Me:
Icamet
oseehowy
oudoi
ng.
Mari
a:Si
tdownLi
l
ianbef
orey
ougetonmy
ner
ves.
Isatdownont
hesamecouchshewasi
n.
Me:MaI'
m sorr
yforbei
nginsensi
ti
ve,
Idi
dn'
t
knowy
ouwer egoi
ngthrougharought
ime.
Maria:Youdi
dn'tknowandbesi
desyouwere
notwrongforaskingf
oraski
ngforspacei
n
yourhouse.
Me:
Soam If
orgi
ven?
Mar
ia:Iwasnev
erangr
ywi
thy
ou,
besi
desy
ou
myfav
ourit
e.
Me:Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouhadasi
sterort
haty
ou
wearpant
s?
Mari
a:Mysist
erthat
'sal
ongst
ory,
wellIcan'
t
weart
hem athomebutIcanst
il
lputt
hem on.
Me:
Andy
ousexyi
nthem (
laughs)
Mar
ia:
I'
m st
il
lyourmot
heri
nlaw!
!
Me:
Ifor
gett
hatsomet
imes.
..
..
hav
eyout
alked
t
ohim?
Mar
ia:
Nowl
i
keIt
oldMi
ke,
thati
smybusi
ness.
Me:Comeonma,youneedtot
alkt
osomeone
andwhoi
sbet
tert
hanyouronl
ydaught
eri
nlaw
.?
Mar
ia:
Youar
esoannoy
ingwheny
oul
i
ke.
Me:Il
ovey
ouandIdon'
tl
ikeseei
ngy
oul
i
ke
t
his.
Mari
a:Hecal
lsbutIdon'
tanswer,
Ij
ustdon'
t
hav
ethestr
engthto.
Me:Butyouguyshavebeenthr
ought
hisbef
ore
,y
ouwill
passthisonetoo.
Mar
ia:
Idon'
tknowbaby.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Mar
ia:
Thi
sti
mei
tsdi
ff
erent,
wehav
ebeen
thoughi
t5ti
mesandinallthoseti
mesIhad
nothi
ngtoworr
yaboutbecauseweagreedon
thesamethi
ngbutnowhei staki
ngther
oyal
wife.
Me:Wait.
..
Ithoughti
twasst
il
lbei
ngt
alked
about?
Maria:
Nope, hewentaheadandagreedwith
thecounselandbroughthisnewwif
einmy
housewithoutevental
kingtome,agir
lfew
year
sy oungerthanMike.
Me:
What
??!
Maria:Thati
st hemostl
owdowndi srespectI
haveeverhadinmywholelif
e,watchi
nga
younggir
lparadingmyhouseli
kesheownsi t.
Iwatchedherasshet r
iedtocontai
nhertear
s
butshecouldn'
t,Imovedclosert
oherand
rubbedherarm.Idon'
tknowwhatt odonow
,i'
veneverseenthi
swomancr y,
evenwhen
Mikewasi nthehospi
talshenevershedany
t
earIguesssher
eal
l
yishur
t.
Me:
Hewi
l
lcomet
ohi
smi
nd.
Mari
a:Icannevershar
emyhusband,
Iwasnot
bui
l
tforthat.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhur
ti
ngt
hismuch.
Mari
a:Don'
tworr
yabouti
t,Ihav
egot
ten
t
hroughworse.
Me:Soifhecont
inuouswi
tht
hatmar
ri
agewhat
wi
ll
y oudo?
Mar i
a:Idon'tknowbuti cannotgobackt her
e
.Thehumi l
iationi woul dget,notev
eryonewas
af anofmemai nlybecauseIwasnotar oyal
bloodandt hef actthatIsai dwhatIwantand
stoodforwhatIbel ievedinwasnotexact ly
seenasagoodt hi
ng.
Me: Buty
ouhavetotalktohim,
youcannot
thr
owawayy ear
sofmar ri
ageandl
ovebecause
ofthethr
oneandbusinesses.
Maria:That'swhatIt houghtt
oobutt ohi
mi t
seemsi mpor t
ant.IthinkIwouldbemor e
understandingifhetalkedtomef i
rstbut
bri
ngingachi l
di nt
omyhomet obehiswife
,nowt hatiswhatkillsmemor e.Amannev er
expi
resbutwedo, Iam oldIcannotdoallthe
thi
ngsweusedt odobutshecansoIwi l
ljust
betheol dboringwife.

.
MaybeIshouldn'
thav
easkedbecausenowt his
i
stoomuchf orme,Idon'tknowwhattosayto
herbecauseifMi
kewoulddot hi
stome,the'
l
l
defi
nit
elybenonegot
iat
ionswhatsoev
er.
Me: Thi
siswhatIknow, y
oubothl
oveeach
otherandhopeful
lyyoucanbot
hfi
ndaway
throught
hisbecauseIwantmykidstoknow
boththei
rgrandparent
s.
Mar
ia:
Anyway,
enoughaboutmehowar
emy
gr
andki
ds?
Me:Well
thetwi
nswer easkingabouty
ou,
but
weokay.I
'm happyactual
ly.
Mari
a:That
'sact
ual
lyt
hef
ir
stt
imei
'
veev
er
hear
dyousaythat.
Me:Okay..
.whyi
sev er
yoneact
ingl
i
keMi
keand
Iwer
efighti
ngal
ltheti
me?
Mari
a:Becauseyouwere,y
ouguysj
oyf
ul
momentlastedf
or5mi nut
est
henboom y
ou
r
eadytokil
leachother.
Me:Thatisj
ustnottr
ue,needhel
pwi
tht
hehai
r
andfacebecauseyoulookugl
y.
Mari
a:That
'si
t,i
'
mf i
ningy
ou.
5000f
orj
ust
i
nsul
ti
ngmer i
ghtnow.
Me:
What
???
Maria:
Ineedmymoneyf
ir
stt
hingt
omor
row,
or
I
'l
ladd.
Me:
Youknowwhat,
Iam outofher
ethi
sis
ext
ort
ion.
[
04/
27,
22:
18]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT52
Li
l
ian
Il
ookatMi kepret
tymuchpi ssedbutt his
assholedoesn'
tcare,heisbusyplayingwiththe
ki
dsont heplane.Yesweonourwayt o
Swazil
andIdon'tknowwhatf orbuthej ust
camehomeandsai dImustpackf ort hekids
becausethewholefami l
yisgoingthereand
tr
usthimt opaynoattenti
ontomyt antr
ums. I
am sit
ti
ngacrosshim andJessi sri
ghtnextto
memeani ngIcannotcusshim outbecausehi s
si
sterishere.
Jess:
Hemadey
ouangr
ydi
dn'
the?
Me:
Yourbr
otheri
stoomuchsomet
imes,
he
j
ustpopsupandsay
spackandy
oumustnot
quest
ionhi
m.
Jess:(
laughs)Isti
ll
findi
tweirdthatyounot
usedtoy ourhusbandafteral
lthi
stime. He
actual
lychangedsinceyou,Mikenev erusedt
o
begoraskf rom anybodyevenNosipho, he
al
way sdidwhathewant ed.
Me:Shemusthavebeenv er
yobedi
entbecause
Iwoul
dneverst
andforthat.
Ihonest
lydon'
tknowwhywetal
kingabout
Mike'
sexwifebutMikenev
ert
alksabouther.
Jess:
Shedef
ini
tel
ynoty
out
hat
'
sforsur
e.
Me:Ist
il
ldon'
tunder
standwhywehadtofl
y
t
hisear
ly,
Imeanit'
sonly8am i
nthemorni
ng.
Jess:Iknownothingal
so,andwebot
hknowhe
won'tbulgeIj
usthopeit
snotsomedrama
i
nvolvi
ngmom anddad.
Me:
Whenl
astdi
dyout
alkt
oher
?
Jess:
Lastnightbutshesoundeddown,
herand
dad'
sfight
sarealwaysextr
emesoIstayoutof
i
t.
Mnqobi:Mamayourchi
l
dismessi
ngupt
he
yoghur
tonthef
loor
.
Me:
Who?
Si
ya:
Nel
i
!!!
!
Ican'
tkeepupwit
hthi
schil
dnaughti
ness,she
i
salwaysuptosomething.
Ist
andtoat t
endto
themessshemadeandaf t
erIwasdoneIsat
downwi t
hheronmylapbecausei
fIlosemy
eyeonhershewil
lst
artdoi
ngsomethingelse.
Nel
i
:(cr
yingandwi
ggl
i
ng)Mama!
!
Mi
ke:
Lynnl
ethergo,
thatcr
yal
way
sget
stome
.
Me:Youshoul
dbeusedtoitbynow,Neli
cal
m
downorIwil
lhav
etoputyouinthecor
ner.
Mi
ke:
Let
'sswi
tch,
giv
ehert
omeandy
out
ake
Mj
.
Hestoodupfrom hi
schai
randt
ookherand
gavemeMj ,
Ihatewhenhedoesthi
sbutIwi
ll
tal
ktohi
m aboutit.
Jess:
Heusedt
odot
hesamet
omewi
thNi
kki
.
Mi
ke:
I'
mri
ghther
e!!
Me:Yourui
ningthem butI
'
llbeher
etowat
ch
youdeal
withtheconsequences.
Mi
ke:
Lynnt
heyar
est
il
lyoung.
Me:Thiskidscangetoffwit
hanythi
ngwithyou
,anddon'ttell
meaboutagebecausethatst
il
l
appl
iestoCl ai
reandThabi
sa.
Mi
ke:
Theyar
emybabi
es.
Honestl
yIfeelli
kehei sspoi
li
ngthem toomuch
andifIdon'
tchanget hatnowtheywillgrowup
wit
hitandthatwon' twork.
Theplanelanded30
minutesagoandwehav enowar ri
vedatt he
pal
aceandsur pri
singl
yitspackedwiththe
communi
ty.
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngonher
e?
Mi
ke:
Hel
ptheki
dsout,
I
'l
lhol
dMj
.
Me:I
tst
imesl
i
ket
hist
hatIj
ustwantt
ost
rangl
e
you.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
Me:Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ngaboutl
ovi
ngy
ou.
kids
getof
f.
Mnqobigotofffi
rstandhehel pedSiyawhile
JessheldNeli
,Ir
eallyhavetoomanyki ds.I
heldSi
yaandwewal kedinsi
deandt herestof
thefamil
ywasher eincl
udingKhayanowIdon' t
knowhowt hi
swillendbecauseMi keand
Khayainthesamer oom call
sfordisast
er.
MikegavemeMj Iguesshewant edtojoint
he
man. Theladi
esall
approachedIguessi t
s
becausethisist
hefir
stti
met heyseeingMj
,t
heycouldn'tst
opadmiri
nghowhel ooksli
ke
hi
sfatherandofcauseSwazi
wasqui
etIst
il
l
don'
tknowwhatIdidtothi
swoman.
Ever
yonewasconv
ersi
ngt
oget
herandthis
womancamemywaybutthiswasthef
irstti
me
isawher.
?
??:
YoumustbeLi
l
ian?
Me:
Iam ,
andy
ou?
?
??:
Nokubonga,
thechi
ef'
ssecondwi
fe.
MhhIswearIwant edtoslapherinherface
,justherfaceal
onedisgustedmet hi
nki
ngof
thepainMar iai
sgoingthr
oughbutIwi l
lbeciv
il
andIseeshehasmadeher sel
fcomfort
able
aroundev ery
onebutIguessbecauseshei s
royalbloodnobodyhasapr obl
em withher.
Me:
Ohhni
cet
omeety
ou.
Nokubonga:
Ist
hatt
henewaddi
ti
on?
Sheget
ti
ngtof r
iendl
yformyliki
ngandi'm not
her
eforafacade,all
eyessuddenlywentupto
thest ai
rsfr
om t hel
adi
esandIl ookedtooandi t
wasMar ia,
dressedinherusualatti
resofthe
kingdom. Whatisshedoinghereormor eso
whendi dshegether e.
Shemadeherwayt ous
l
adi esandthef akesmil
esshewasgi vi
ngright
nowwasgoi ngt ogi
vehermul t
ipl
er i
nkles.
Mar
ia:
Heybaby,
ther
egoesmygr
andbabi
es.
Shesai
dhuggi
ngtheki
dsIhadf
orgott
heywer
e
evenst
andi
ngnextt
ome.
Shecal l
edoneoft hemai dstotaket hekids
upstai
rsi ncludingMj ,soIwaschi ldfreebutshe
needst ot ellmewhati sgoingonandt hemor eI
l
ookedatNokubongawhowasnowsuddenl yat
uneasyt hemor eIgotdi sgusted,howcanshe
paradeher ewhensheknowsMar iaishereand
thefactthatshei salmostMi ke'sagedi sgusts
me, I
'm mor edisgustedatt hechiefand
speakingofhi m Ihaven'tseenhim any where.
Mar
ia:
Don'
tev
ent
hinkabouti
t,Iknowwhat
y
ougoi
ngt
oask.
Me:
Youokayt
hough?
Mar
ia:
YeahIam.
Jess:
Mot
herwhati
shappeni
ng?
Mari
a:Idon'
tknow,
al
lIknowi
sthatanar
my
wassenttofet
chme.
Me:
Hav
eyout
alkedt
ohi
m?
Maria:Ihav
en'
tev ensawhi m butIdon'tmi
nd
becausethi
splacealonemakesmewantt o
pukeandIam damnsur eifIseehimt oget
her
wit
hhiswi f
eI'
l
l defi
nit
elypukeinhisface.
Me:
(l
aughs)y
ousodr
amat
ic.
Mar
ia:
Say
sthequeenofdr
amat
icmoment
s.
Itpai
nsmet oseeherpull
ingthi
sfacadethat
sheishappyandacceptedthesecondwife
becauseIhaveafeel
ingthatevery
onehere
doesn'
tknowaboutherleaving.Weconti
nued
total
ksomemor euntil
wehear dcommot i
on
comingfrom themal
esi
deandstoppingsome
sortoff
ightandmyeyeswer
elookingforMike
butIcouldn'
tseehi
m.
Mari
a:Idonothav
et hest
rengt
hfort
hoset
wo,
I
don'
tknowwhenthisfi
ght
ingwil
lst
op.
Westeppedcloserwi t
hsomeofthel
adi
esandI
coul
dhearMiket al
kingandKhay
awasonthe
fl
oor,
hepunchedhi m.
Mike:Sayonemor
ethi
ngaboutmywi
fe,
i
'm
t
ell
ingyoudead.
Khay
a:(
laughs)t
het
rut
hhur
tsdoesn'
ti
t..
..
Idon'tknowwhynoonei sstoppingthem ,t
hey
busybackchat ti
ngateachot heranditsnot
pleasant,i
t'
sactuall
yembar rassingandpeopl e
keepgivingmest ares*
gr eatnowi '
mt hetopic*
I
l
ookedbackf orMariaandshewasnowher eto
beseenandt hi
swasget t i
ngwor sebecause
Mi kehadhim againstt
hewal landIcouldsee
hispoppingv ei
nsmeani ngall hel
lwasaboutt o
break,
Idon'
tgetwhynoonei sstoppi
ngt
hem
andtheglar
eskeepbeingaddedbecause
Khayaisact
uall
yinsul
ti
ngme, cal
li
ngmename.
Idon'
tknowwhatcameov ermebutIwast ir
ed
ofthi
sandl i
st eningtot his,Iwalkedupt othem
andbynowev eryonewaswai t
ingf ormy
react
ion. IgrabbedMi ke'shandandhewas
abouttoy ankedi toffbutwhenhesawi twas
mehel ethisgr i
ponKhay aloseandKhay awas
nowf umi ngt oretali
ate,talkaboutbei nga
coward. Istoodbet weent hem andkeptmy
eyesathi m andev eryonewasi ntensively
watchingme, wewer elookingst raightint
o
eachot her,i
t'slikewewer ehav inga
conversationwi thourey esandhewasl etti
ng
hisguar ddown.
Mi
ke:
Letmywi
feno.
..
.
Me:
Don'
t,
hei
snotwor
thi
t.Comewi
thme.
Igr
abbedhi
shandandwewal
kedoutt
othe
gardenandIcoul
dseehewasst il
langry,he
satonthebenchwithhisel
bowsonhi sknees
brushi
nghishead.
Mi kenev
ergetsangryeasi
ly
butwithKhayahesnapsinseconds.
Me:Youandyoubrot
herhonest
lyneedt
ogr
ow
up,
thi
sischi
l
dishandgett
ingol
d.
Mike:Iknow embar
rassedyoubuthei
snot
goingtoinsul
tyoui
nmypr esence.
Me:Hedoesthi
sonpur
posebecauseheknows
youwi
ll
react,
andy
ouarehi
ghlyreact
ivewhen
i
tcomestohim.
Mike:
Heknowshowtogetundermyski
n,I
don'
tknowwhathewant
sfr
om me.
Me:Justl
ethi
m bethefool
alone,
Ican'
thav
e
mykidsseei
ngthatki
ndofbehavi
our.
Mi
ke:
(shocked)t
heki
dssawt
hat
?
Me:Nobuti ft
hiscont
inuestheywil
levent
ual
ly
seei
t,butIgotalotofstar
esfrom t
hatandyou
knowIhat
ethat
.
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
tryandcont
ainmyt
amper.
Me:
Youwon'
ttr
y,y
ouwi
l
lcont
aini
t.
Mike:Ij
ustdon'
tl
ikei
twhensomeonet
alks
aboutyou.
Me: Babylook,
ever
yonewil
lalway
shavethei
r
opini
onsaboutmeandi t
'snotuptoust
o
changeit,weknowthetr
uthandusthat
'
sall
thatmatters.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ryIal
mosty
ankedmyhandony
ou.
Me:
leanback.
Mi
ke:
Why?
Me:
Justl
eanback!
Hel
eanedbackonthebenchandIsatonhi
s
l
apandhejustgav
emeast ar
e.
Mi
ke:
Yousoext
ra!
!
Me:
Youknowbef
orey
ouambushedusi
nto
comi
ngher
eIwant
edt
otel
lyousomet
hing.
Mi
ke:
Younotpr
egnantar
eyou?
Me:What?
?Youoffi
cial
lyt
hedumbestmanI
know,howcanIbepregnantwi
thouthav
ingsex?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknow(
shr
ugsshoul
der
s)
Me:Iwentt
othedoct
ory
est
erdayandI
'
m cl
ear
!!
!
Mi
ke:
Stopscr
eami
ng,
youcl
earofwhat?
Me:Yousuchamoodki
l
ler,
Icannowhav
esex
wi
thmyhusband.
Isawthesmi l
ecr
eepi
ngonhisfaceandI
ki
ssedhim andhegavemybuttagood
squeezebutourmomentwasr ui
nedbuyt
he
l
oudannouncementthatev
ery
onemustgather
bythepodi
um ofthethr
one.
Mi
ke:
Let
sgo,
ti
mef
ort
hebi
grev
elat
ion.
Me:Whydoy
ounotwantt
otel
lme,
I
'my
our
wi
fe.
Mike:AndIl
oveyou,nowletsgoy
ouknowt
he
f
ami l
ymustbeinthefir
strow.
Istoodupf rom hi m andhegr abbedmybut t
withbothhi shandswhi l
estillsitti
ngdown
beforest andingup, Iwillberippedapar ti'm
tell
i
ngy ou. Wewal kedt ot hepodi um and
everyonewasmaki ngt heirwayt hereandIsaw
Mar i
asit t
inginherchai rIcer tainlyhopeshei s
notaccept i
ngt hisnonsense. Ev eryonesat
downandapr aisepoetst ar
tedpr aisi
ngt he
kingandheappear edf r
om t hebackandI
i
mmedi atelynot iceMar iachangeofexpr essi
on
asshet ightenhergr i
ponherchai r.Theki ng
madehi swayt ot hechai randev eryonewas
standingupandMar i
ar emainedseat edand
peoplest artedgi vingeachot herst aresbutI
don'tthi
nksheev ennot i
cedt hat. Theangeri n
herfacewasnowev i
dentIthi nkt oev ery
one,he
didnotev enbot hert oev ensitdownhej ust
wentst raighttot hemi candoncehewast here
helookedatMar ia'
sdir
ecti
onbutshewas
faci
ngdown, Iam sureint
erest
edi
nwhathe
hastosay,heopenedhi smouthtospeakbut
hecouldn'
treleasethewordsashesti
llkepthi
s
eyestoMaria.
[
04/
27,
22:
18]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT53
Li
l
ian
(
Not
e:Banzi
ist
henameoft
heki
ng)
Weal lwaiti
nanti
cipati
onofwhathewant sto
saybuthiseyesarest i
l
lstucktoMari
aandshe
fi
nal
lylooksathim andtheirey
eslock,t
hisi
s
heartwrecki
ngtowat chImeant heywere
couplesgoalsbutnow.
Het
urnsbackt
othecommuni
ty.
Banzi
:Gooddaymypeopl
e,t
hanky
oual
lfor
comi
ngi
nsuchashor
tnot
ice.
Ther
ewer
esomeal
ull
ati
ngaf
tert
hat.
Banzi:Ther easonIcal l
edt hismeetingwi t
hall
ofyoui snotapl easantonebuti thasbeen
done. I
tpainsmet oknowt hatmywi f
ecannot
evenlookatmei ntheeyesbecauseoft hehur
t
andpai nIhav ecausedhert hesepastf ewdays
.Asy ouallknowt hatakingmusthav ear oyal
wifeandmywi feisnotar oyalblood,Iwas
i
nformedt hatIneededt otakeasecondwi f
e
andIdi dbutIam f aili
ngtoacknowl edget hat
mar r
iagebecauseIl ovemywi feandshei sthe
onlywifeIwi ll
ev erhavesoi fthatmeans
l
oosingt het hr
onesobei t...
..
grouli
ngsandsoundsofshockcamefrom al
l
anglesIwasal
soshockedbutitseemsmy
husbandalr
eadyknewabout.
Banzi
:Iunder
standthatal
lofyouaresurpr
ised
bythi
sbutIam heretodaytoi
nfor
m allofyou
t
hatIam st
eppi
ngdownfrom t
hethroneasof
t
oday,t
hecounsel
wil
lputinpl
aceanother
l
eader.
Thesilencet hatsuddenl yhitthisplace,y oucan
l
iteral
l
yhearaf l
ypassby, myey esandt hoseof
manyot hersquickl ylandonMar iaandshei sin
shockt oo. Thekingmov est othethroneandhe
placehisl eopardski ncov eront opofi tand
placeshi sspeari nf rontofitandhewal ksaway
,peoplear elefttalkingtot hemsel v
es
questioningwhatj usthappenedandMi ke
standsupt el
li
ngt hei mmedi at
ef amilytogo
i
nsidet hehouseandweal ldo.
Me:
Whatj
usthappened?
Jess:
Idon'
tknow.
Mariawasinfr
ontofusandatt hi
smomentI
cannolongerspotNokubongagoodforher
becauseshemustbeembar rassed.
Weal
lwal
kinsi
deandMi
ke'
sdadi
sal
ready
si
tti
ngdownandIcanseebyt
hel
ookst
hatt
he
auntsar
efumi
ng.
Swazi
:Zwel
ibanzi
whatinthehel
ldi
dyoujust
do?Doyouevenunder
standwhatyoudi
d?
Banzi:
SwaziIam notgoi
ngtobelectur
edby
you,ImademydecisionandIam st
andingbyi
t.
Noma:Youdor
eal
i
set hatdeci
sioni
nvol
vesus
,t
hewholef
ami
lyr
ight?
Thisi
sgoingtobealongday,t
heyal
l
i
nterr
ogat
inghim now,
thi
sisnotf
orme.
Me:
(t
oMi
ke)I
'
llbei
ntheki
tchen.
HenodshisheadandIwalktothekitchenand
Mariaist
her
ewithaglassofwine,another
shockerI
'
veneverseenherdri
nkIdidn'tev
en
noti
ceshewasgonef r
om theli
vi
ngr oom.
Me:
Youdr
ink?
Mar
ia:
Ineedi
t,Iam nownumberoneenemyt
o
t
hecommunit
yandt hewhol
eclan.
Me:That
'snott
rue,
hemadet
hatdeci
sionon
hi
sown.
Mar
ia:
Ican'
twr
apmymi
ndatwhathedi
d.
Me:
Itshowsyoumor
eimpor
tantt
ohi
mthan
t
hethr
oneandit
smoney.
Mari
a:Butforhi
mtosacri
fi
estheonet
hinghe
hashadsincehi
sadul
thood.
Mi
ke:
Youbot
har
eneededi
nthel
i
vingr
oom.
Mar
ia:
Youknewaboutt
hisdi
dn'
tyou?
Mike:
No,heonl
ytol
dmethathewasgoi
ngt
o
f
ixthi
sIdi
dn'
tknowhemeantthat.
Weallwal
kedbackt
othelivi
ngroom andt
hey
weremoreset
tl
ednow,IsatdownnexttoMike
andMari
awasnexttome.
Banzi
:Zol
i
swa?
Il
ookedar
oundf
orthisZol
i
swabuti
tseemsI
am t
heonl
yoneconfused.
Banzi
:Comesi
tnextt
ome?
Mar iastandsupandsi t
sbyhim, sosheis
Zol i
swawowIdi scoversomethingnewabout
thesepeopl eeveryday.
Forami nutet
heyjust
staredateachot herwit
houttal
kingandthey
i
nt ert
winedthei
rhandst oget
herIguesswe
hav emadepr ogressalr
eady.
Banzi:Iunderstandt hatthiscomesasashock
tothewhol ef ami l
ybutIwasnotgoi ngtolose
mywi f
eov erthet hroneandpr etendtolovea
womanIdi dn'tlove.Igett hatthischangesy our
wellbeingbutmyhappi nessandmywi feare
mor eimpor t
ant. Ihavedist r
ibutedpackagest o
eachofy ouwi t
henoughmoneyt ol
astyouthe
nexttwoy earsandhopef ull
ytheycanel ectthe
newl eaderfrom t hefami l
y.Sof ornowIwoul d
l
iketot al
kt omywi fealonesoexcuseus.
Theybothstoodupandwentupstai
rsandther
e
wasnothingmuchlef
tthefamil
ycoulddoso
theyal
ll
eftleav
ingme,MikeandJessi
ca.
Jess:
Guy
sI'
l
lbei
nmyr
oom.
Mi
ke:
Alr
ight
..
.
Me:
Sowwhathappensnow?
Mike:Dadhasalr
eadydonet
hesigni
ngoverof
thebusi
nessessonowtheyhav
et oevi
ctt
he
palace.
Me:
Wher
ewi
l
ltheygo?
Mike:
Dadsai
dhe'
sgotitcov
ered,
Ij
ustwish
t
heycoul
dgoli
vever
yfarandIcangetpeace
f
rom mot
her.
Me:
(hi
tt
inghi
m)Mi
ke!
!!
!
Mike:
(l
aughs)What?Iam t
ir
edoft
hei
rdr
ama
.Wherearemykids?
Me:
Wit
hthenanny.
Mike:
Wantust
ogobackhomenowor
t
omor r
ow.
?
Me:
Justl
i
ket
hat?
Mike:
Unl
essyouwanttowit
nesst
hem bei
ngal
l
cozyi
nfr
ontofyouandtr
ustmeit
sdi
sgusti
ng.
Me:
Soev
ery
thi
ngi
sfi
nenow?
Mike:Idon'
tknowaboutever
ythi
ngbutt
heyar
e
andthatisal
lthatmat
ter
s.
Me:
Sowhodoy
out
hinki
sgoi
ngt
obechosen.
Mi
ke:
Me!
Me:
That
'snotf
unny.
Mike:
ThenIcanhav
eabout10wi
fe'
swit
h11
si
dechicks,
damnmyli
fewoul
dbeamazi
ng.
Me: Youdoknowt hatthisisnotfunny,
woman
havetoputupwi t
hthisal l
becauseofroyal
bloodandbecausetheyl ovethei
rhusbands
theystayandwatchallthisnonsense
happeninginfr
ontofthem andeachandev ery
daytheirsoul
sdie.
Mi
ke:
Iwasj
ustKi
ddi
ng
Me:
Iknowandj
ustsoy
ouknow,
those10
wif
e'sofy
our
swil
lbedeadbefor
ethepast
or
says"y
oumayki
ssthebri
de"
.
Mike:Don'
tworr
y,Iwoul
dn'
tdar
edothat.
My
heartbel
ongst
oonewomanonl y.
Me:
MayIaskwhot
hati
sSi
r?
Mike:Sheisverybeaut
if
ulandsexy,
smart
,crazy,
funnyandsheismysoulmateandbest
f
riend.
Me:
Shei
sver
ylucky!
!
Mi
ke:
Iam t
hel
uckyone,
Il
ovey
ouLy
nn.
Me:Il
oveyoutoobaby,
nowcanwegohomeI
needsomegoodshaggi
ngforr
eal
.
Mike:Saynomor e,
andwedroppingtheki
dsat
MaMar tha'
sIneedtoexpl
oreevery
thi
ng
t
onight.
[
04/
27,
22:
18]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT54
Li
l
ian
Ifeelthesunheati
ngonmybackmaki ngme
creepoutf r
om mysleepwi thmyl efthand
reachingforMikebutthere'
snot hi
ng, he'
s
probablydownstai
rsalready.Atleastitsa
SaturdaytodayIdon'
thav etojugar oundthe
kidsforschoolhoweverifIdon'twakeupr i
ght
now, they
'l
lcomebarginginher e..
Istandupandputonmyr obeandsleepers
headingt othebat hroom tocleanmyf ace.I
walkedi nt
oMnqobi '
sroom buthewasnot
thereandhi sbedwasnotdone, mxm he's
probablyspooningi nfrontoftheTVwat chi
ng
hiscartoons.Iquicklymadeuphi sbedand
wentt othenextroom whi chwast hetwinsbut
theyalsoaren'there,thisisweirdbecausethey
neverleavethisroom unl esstheytoldtoand
l
astlyIwal kedi ntoMj 'snurserybuthei snot
here,nowI 'ml ostwhati sgoingonsoear l
yin
themor ning. Icheckedt heplayroom butitwas
empt y,Imademywaydownst airswithcuri
osit
y
ofwhatMi kewasdoi ngwi t
ht hekids,speaki
ng
ofMi keImi ssmysexl i
fe.I
tsbeen3day ssince
thatwhol edramaatt hepalaceandIknowwe
hadpl annedt oi gnit
et hesexpar tbuthehas
beenmaki ngcount l
essexcusesnott ohav esex
withme, ev eni fheisnotwi l
li
ngt osayitbut
may behenol ongerfindsmeat tracti
vewithall
thi
scel l
uli
teonmyst omachandIdon' teven
wantt oment i
ont hecount l
esscal l
she'sbeen
taki
ngt hathehi desfrom mebutsor r
yforhimI
donothav etimet oti
pt oear oundhi m,mykids
aremypr i
or i
ty.
Ireacheddownst
air
sanditwaspeacefulas
heavenifheav
enispeacef
ul,
therewasnosign
ofthem bei
ngint
hehouse,myey esqui
ckly
l
andedont henot
eont opofthecount
er"It
ook
t
heki
dsoutforbreakf
ast
,want
edy
out
oenj
oy
y
oursl
eep.
..
..
Mike"
SeewhatImean, whateverhappenedt o"Ilove
you",he'sbeensooccupi edlatel
yIdoubtIev en
matterany mor ebutnevert
helessIwillenj
oymy
peacef orachangebecausewhent hosekids
comebackmommydut i
esbeganbutIwoul dn'
t
tr
ademybabi esforany
thinginthewor ld.
Being
amot hert othem iswhatgivesgreaterjoyand
beli
evei tornotbeingamot heractuall
y
changedmef orbett
ert
hough.
IcalledMi kewant i
ngt oknowhowl ongwillhe
beoutwi t
ht hekidsbuthisphonewentst r
aight
tov oicemailwhichwasf unnyconsider
ingthat
hisphonenev erleaveshishandasoflate.
Wel l
sincehi snotanswer ing,
Iwil
ljustgoaboutmy
businessandbuymysel fsomenewcl othes
andbags.
I
nlessthananhourIwasdr
essedupinmy
bl
ackjeanandpeachgol
fT-
shir
twit
hmy
sandalsandt iedmyaf r
oi nt
oabun, eversinceI
stoppedwor kingit
sli
keIl ostt
heurgef or
formaldressing,nowaj eanandaT- shir
tisallI
need.Itookmycarkey sanddr ovestr
aightto
themall,I
'm goingtoshopupast or
mj ust
becauseIhav eMi ke'
scard,maybeanot if
icati
on
ofsum ofmoneyusedi nhi scardwil
lmakehi m
noti
ceme.
Iwal
kinsi
deashoeshopfir
stbutIget
conf
usedimmedi
atel
y,Imeanther
e'sonl
yheel
s
i
nhereandIdon'
tqui
teneedthem anymor
e.
Iwalkedinsidesomefewshopst aki
ngout
ever
y t
hingthatIl
ikeandofcauseItooksome
cl
othesf ormybabies.
Iwaswalki
ngtoarest
aurantwithmybags
whenIhear
d"Iseeret
ail
therapyisst
il
lyour
thi
ng?
"
IturnedaroundanditwasTerr
ywit
hawoman
thatlookedfami
li
arbutIcoul
dnotl
ocat
e
her.
Shewashol
dingababyi
nherhand,
shei
s
beauti
ful
.
Me:
Ter
ry!
!!Hi
,
Ihav
en'
tseeny
oui
nfor
ever
.
Terr
y:Lil
ianthi
sismywi
feThandyandour
daughterZukhanye.
Thandy:Youl
ookfami
li
ar,
didn'
tyoubyany
chancegoinl
abouri
narestaur
antdowntowna
fewweeksago?
Me:
Idi
d
Thandy
:I'
mthel
adyt
hathel
pedy
ourhusband.
Me:Ohhreall
y!
!Ihavebeenwant
ingtoknow
you.
Thankyouforsavi
ngmefrom myhusband
,i
fyouweren'
tther
ehewouldhavelef
tmer i
ght
t
here.
Thandy
:(l
aughs)Hewaski
ndofcl
uel
ess.
Me:
Thathei
s.
Ter
ry:
Hi,
I
'm st
il
lher
eoram Ii
nvi
sibl
e?
Thandy
:Jeal
ousydoesn'
tsui
tyoumyl
ove.
Ter
ry:
Babyt
hisi
stheLi
l
ianAzani
awentcr
azy
on.
Thandy:Real
l
y? ?Iam sosor
ry,
mydaught
ercan
bealit
tl
ebitaloofsometi
mes.
Me: Shewasr eal
lyfeist
y,andIam gl
adt
o
fi
nall
yseet hebeaut
ifulwif
ehe'sal
ways
braggingabout.
Ter
ry:
Woul
dn'
tyoubr
ag,
l
ookather.
.
Thandy
:Ter
ryst
op.
Thelovei
ntheset
wowassoev
identev
ent
he
bl
indcoul
dseeit.
Thandy:Youmyhusbandsfri
endandIwould
l
iketorect
if
yyourencount
erwit
hAzaniaso
pleasecomehavedinneri
nmyhouse.?
Me:Ohht hat
'ssot
empt
ingbutIhav
enonanny
andthewomanwhousuallyhel
dmeouti
salso
notavai
l
able.
Thandy
:Youcancomewi
thy
ourki
ds.
.
Me:Ohhno,theysocli
ngyIwouldn'
tbeabl
eto
enj
oyi
t,
tel
lyouwhatwheni '
m cl
earfr
om
mummydut i
esIwill
makear r
angementsto
come.
Ter
ry:
Lil
i
ancanIhav
emywi
fenow?
Me:Yousuchaass,I
twasnicemeet
ingyou
ThandybutIal
sohav
etoheadhomet ot
hekids
.
Thandy:
Sameher
e,pl
easedon'
tfor
gett
he
di
nner.
Me:
Iwon'
t.
Terr
y:Somuchbags?Don'
tmaket
heman
bankrupt
.
Me:
Youwi
sh.
Ilaughast
heywalkawayandImustsay
Thandyisani
celady.
Ireal
l
yneedtogetbackt
o
thehouse,
Idon'
tevenfeell
ikebuy
ingi
nthi
s
restaurantI'
l
ljustcooksomet hingathome. Cal
l
i
tagutori nsti
nctbutsomet hingtol
dmet o
l
ookatt herestaur
antbehi ndmeandwhenIdi d
Ialmostdr oppedmybagbuthadt ocont ainmy
temper. Mikewassi tt
ingrightther
ewi t
ht his
Beaut i
fulyoungladyandt heywer emightycosy
l
aughi ngandconv ersi
ng, shewasdr essedso
formallyandincont r
ol .
Hel i
edaboutt heki dsbutifhei sher
ewher e
thehellaremyki ds?Isweari fMikeisdoi
ng
thisagainI'
m kil
linghim. Apar tofmewant ed
tojumpr ightinthereandt henIdon'tknow
whatt odobutt hesanepar tofmei stel
li
ngme
tobei ncontrolandnotr eadt oomuchi nt
ot hi
s
i
tmi ghtbeabusi nessmeet ingbutthenagainif
i
twas, whywoul dhel i
eaboutbei ngwiththe
kids?
.
.
Iknowthi
sissupershotbutI
'
llwr
it
eal
onger
conti
nuat
iont
omorrow.
[
04/
27,
22:
18]R:
inser
t54cont
inued
.
.
It
s5pm andst il
lMi kei snotbackwi t
ht hekids
,i
'vealreadypr epar eddi nner. Rightnowi '
mi n
mybedr oom l ayingdownbecauset hereis
l
iteral
lynot hingt odo, Ididn'tev enf i
tthe
cl
ot hesIboughtt oday, l
etmedot hatbef oremy
mi ndblast swi ththesedi sturbingt houghtsIam
hav i
ng.Ist oodf rom t hebedi ntot hecl osetand
putsomeoft hest uffonandt obehonestI
don'treallylikelooki ngatmybodyi nthemi rror
becausei thast urnedi ntoanopposi t
eofwhat
mybodyusedt ol ookl ikebef oret hispackof
ki
dsIhav e. Igrabmybl acklingerieandputi ton
,i
tdoesl ookki ndofgoodt omepi t
yIdon' t
hav eahusbandt oweari tforsincehei snot
i
nter
est
edi
ntouchi
ngmybodybutI
'
lll
i
ver
ight
?
Myphoneri
ngsandIgobackt
othebedr
oom
andi
tsNandi.
Me:
Heyl
ove
Nandi
:Hey,
whaty
oudoi
ng?
Me: Justfi
tt
ingsomecl
othesIbought,
hav
ea
l
ingeri
er i
ghtnow.
Il
aughedatmysel fasshetur
nedthephone
cal
li
ntoav i
deocallsomehowthatremi
nded
meofMi ke'
sproposal.
Me:
(l
aughi
ng)y
oucr
azy
!!
!
Nandi
:Thet
it
ti
esl
ookgoo,
nowIwantt
hewhol
e
body?
Me:
What,
that
'snotf
ory
ourey
esbi
tch.
.
Nandi
:Idon'
tcar
e,nowapr
evi
ew!
!
Irol
l
edmyphonedowngi
vi
ngherav
iewofmy
body.
Nandi:
ListenIdon'
tknowanywomanwith5
kidswi
thsuchast unni
ngbody,
youget
ti
ngi
t
toni
ght!
!!
Me:Argggi
tlooksdiff
erentt
hought,Iusedto
havet
he"it
"bodybutnowmyst omachi sful
lof
cel
l
uli
teandmybr eastsarej
ust..
argggg
Nandi:(
laughing)Ri
chpeopl
eandt heirni
celi
fe
probl
ems. l
istenIwant
edtoknowify oustil
l
remembert hatyouhaveasparr
ight?
Me:Chi
ldIknowev
ery
thi
ngt
hatbr
ingsme
money,
why?
Nandi
:Weputt
ingi
tint
ogoodusetomorrow
,meandyouandsomegir
lf
ri
endsbereadyby9
am.
Me:
What
??soear
ly.
Nandi
:Andpleasedon'
tbri
ngyourboogyass,
I
don'
twantt
hesegirl
stofeeli
nti
mated.
Me:
Andwhoi
spay
ingf
oral
lthi
s?
Nandi
:You,
l
ovey
ouby
e.
Gr
eatnowI
'
m bei
nghi
j
acked.
..
..
Mi
ke:
Youl
ooksex
y!!
!
Itur
nedar oundandhewasl eani
ngbythedoor
,IhadtoldmyselfthatIwouldnotj
umptomy
ownconcl usi
onsbutseeinghimri
ghtnowis
real
lypressi
ngonme.
Me:
Thanks,
wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Mi
ke:
Int
hei
rroomssl
eepi
ng.
Me:
Mhhk.
Iwalkedbackt
othecl
osettoputonmyrobe
andIwalkedbackt
otheroom hewasnow
si
tt
ingonthebed.
Mi
ke:
Wher
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
Tocheckont
heki
ds.
Mike:
Whyareyoubei
ngdi
stant,
Ij
ustt
oldy
ou
t
hekidsar
efi
ne.
Me:Soyouignoremefor4day
sful
landwhenI
r
etur
nitI
'm di
stant?
Mike:Ignor
i.
..
.whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout?
Iwas
notignori
ngyou.
Me:Reall
y?Whenlastdi
dyouaskmei
fIwas
okayorsai
dthaty
ouloveme?
Mike:YouknowIl
ovey
ou,
doIneedt
osayi
t
ev
eryday?
Me:
Yes,
Iwantt
oheari
tev
eryday.
Mike:
Alr
ightt
hen,
I
'l
lbesur
etor
emembert
hat
nextt
ime.
Me:
Wher
ewer
eyout
oday
?
Mike:Outwi
tht
heki
ds,
Ial
readyi
nfor
medy
ou
ofthat.
Me:
Youwer
ewi
tht
heki
dst
hewhol
eti
me?
Mike:Yes,
whydoIf
eel
li
ket
hisi
san
i
nterr
ogati
on?
Me:Isther
esomet
hingIshoul
dbei
nter
rogat
ing
youabout?
Mi
ke:
Okayj
ustsaywhaty
ouwantt
osay.
Me:Wherewer
emyki dswheny
ouwer
e
meet
ingupwit
hthatwoman?
Mike:
Whatwoman?
?..
..
wai
tyouf
oll
owi
ngme
now?
Me:
Youjustl
i
edandsaidyouwer
ewitht
hem
t
hewhol
eday,butwebothknowt
hat
'
snottr
ue.
Mike:Wel
lexcusemefornotknowingthatIhad
toinf
ormyouofmyev er
ymov ethatIt
ake,now
backtomyquestion.
Me:No,Ij
usthappenedt
oseey
ouatt
hemal
l
wi
ththatwoman.
Mike:
Andyouj
ustassumedt
hatIwascheat
ing
onyouri
ght
?
Icouldn'
tanswerhi
squest
ionandIcoul
dtel
lby
hisfacethathewasget
ti
ngangrybythi
s.
Mike:
Soisthatwhat
'sgoi
ngt
ohappenev
ery
t
imey ouseemewithawoman?
Me:Youwerebot
htoocomf
ort
abl
ear
ound
eachot
her.
Mike:Andt hatsolidif
iescheat i
ng?I'
m goingto
soundrudenowbuti fyour ecall
back,
what
happenedbet weenmeandpr omisewashar dl
y
cheati
ngitwasj ustsexandy ouandIwerenot
notevenmar riedt hen,nowImadeami stake
withTumi whichIam st i
ll
tryingtofi
xandIam
notthatstupidt odoitagainbutwewi l
lhavea
probl
em ifever yti
meIam wi thawomany ou
goingtoassumeI 'm cheati
ng.
Me:
That
'snotwhatIsai
d.
Mike:I
tswhatyouthi
nking,
youdon'
tevenknow
whothatwomani sorwhatbusi
nessIhadwith
herbutyoual
readyassumedwhatyouwanted
tobetrue.
Theset
rusti
ssuesofy
our
shav
etoend,
Imade
amist
akebefor
ebuty
oucan'tal
way
sbe
wai
ti
ngfort
heworstt
ohappen.
DAMNmeandmymi nd,helooksreall
yangr
y
ri
ghtnow.Hest
andsupandt akeshisphone
wit
hhim ashewal
kstowardsthedoor.
Me:
Wher
eyougoi
ng?
Mi
ke:
Tomyof
fi
ce.
Me:
Butwenotdonet
alki
ngy
et.
Mike:Iam ,
Li
li
anIhaveapologizedoverand
overagai
nandy ouknowwhatIam t i
redofit
ri
ghtnow,it
supt oyout
obel i
eveinthelove
thatIhav
eforyouandtrusti
nit.
Hewal
kedoutandIj
ustt
hrewmysel
font
opof
t
hebed.
[
04/
27,
22:
18]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT55
Li
l
ian
I
t'
ssafetosayMikedidn'tcomet obedlast
ni
ght,pr
obabl
ysl
eptinhisof f
iceorthespare
bedr
oom andIdi
dn'tbotherhim atal
lbuttoday
wefi
xingthi
s.
Iwalkeddownst air
sandpr epar
edtheki ds
breakfastbecausei nanhourIhav etomeetup
withNandi forthisspardaywhi chIam not
l
ookingf orwardt o,Ihavealr
eadyarrangedwi
th
MaMar thatowat cht heki
dsandshei sonher
way .
IsatdownfeedingMjwhi
l
etheot
her
swer
e
eati
ngontheirown.
Si
ya:
Mama,
menotwantt
his!
!
Me:Si
yaeatyoufoodpl
easef
anas,
I
'l
lgi
vey
ou
acakel
ateron.
Mnqobi
:That
'snotf
air,
Inev
ergetr
ewar
dsf
or
eat
ingwhatIdon'
twant
.
Me:
Mnqobi
pleasenotnowt
uu.
Nel
i
:MamaIwantdaddy
Me:Heissti
ll
sleepi
ngbaby,
butI
'
llt
ell
himt
o
pl
aywit
hy ou.
Mar
tha:
Howar
emybeaut
if
ulgr
andchi
l
dren?
Theyal
lrantoMaMarthahuggi
ngher,
they
al
waysexcit
edtoseeherevenmor
ethanme
someti
mes.
Me:
Mor
ningma,
thanksf
orcomi
ng.
Mar
tha:
Thankmeonemor
eti
mef
ordoi
ngmy
j
ob,
Iwil
lquit.
Me:OkayIwon'
tthen,
I'
veal
readysor
tedthem
f
orthemorni
ng,butIhavet
oleaveIam alr
eady
l
ateasiti
s.
Mar
tha:
Justgo,
I
'l
lbef
inewi
tht
hem .
Me:
Alr
ight.
Isaidgoodby ewit
hallthekidsandpr acti
cal
ly
ranoutoft hehousetothespar, Iar
riv
edaf t
er
20mi nutesandNandi wasal r
eadywai ti
ngwith
threeothergir
lsandIquicklyrecogni
zedoneof
them tobeNt ombiwhoj ustdisappeared out
ofnowher e.
Nandi
:Shefi
nall
ydeci
destoshowup30
minut
eslat
er.
(cl
apshands)
Me:
Iknowokaybutyouknowhowmy
mor
ning'
sar
e,Nt
omi?
Ntombi:I
nthefl
ash,Iseey
ouhav
echanged
verymuchsoinfact.
Me:
Wher
edi
dyoudi
sappeart
o?
Nt
ombi
:Longst
ory.
Nandi
:Thesear
emyf
ri
endsLuci
aandYol
anda.
Me:
Hil
adi
es,
ni
cet
omeety
ou.
Yol
anda:Sameher
e,y
oul
ookmor
ebeaut
if
uli
n
per
son.
Me:Thanky
ou,
IhopeNandi
didn'
tscar
eyouof
f
wi
thme.
Luci
a:Notatal
l
,shehadgr
eatt
hingst
osay
aboutyou.
Me:
(l
ooki
ngatNandi
)Shedi
d?
Nandi
:Shutup,
wehav
eal
ongdaysol
etsget
st
art
ed.
Weall
goti
nandhadourmassagesanditfel
t
amazi
ngIwasr
eal
lyi
nneedofitIdi
dn'
treali
se
howmuch.
Nandi
:Nexti
sthehai
r,
mani
cur
eandpedi
come
on.
Me:
Countmeoutoft
hemani
cur
e.
Nandi
:Youdef
ini
tel
ydoi
ngi
t.
Me:
Areyouf
orget
ti
ngIam st
ayathome
mot
herof4?
Yol
anda:
Youhav
efourki
ds?
Me:
5act
ual
l
y,why
?
Luci
a:Yourbodydoesn'
tsayso.
Me:
I'
ll
taket
hatasacompl
i
ment.
Luci
a:I
tis.
It
ri
edtof i
ghtmywayoutofal
lthi
sbutIdidn'
t
wi
n, wegotourhai
r,nai
l
sandourfacebeats
whichconfusedme.
Me:
Nandi
thi
sisi
tchy.
Ntombi
:Whenl
astdi
dyouputmakeupony
our
f
ace?
Me:Idon'
tremember,
IdoubtIst
il
lhav
eiti
nthe
house.
Luci
a:Thati
swhyy
oui
tchy.
Nandi
:Okayt
hen,
l
et'
sgot
othel
astst
op.
Me:
Nandiwehavebeenont
hisf
ormor
ethan
t
wohour
s,Ineedt
ogobackhome.
Nandi
:Cany
oust
opcompl
aini
ngf
oroncei
n
y
ourl
i
fe?
Me:Iam notr
eall
yenj
oyingt
his,
nott
haty
ou
guysar
enotnicebutIhadafi
ghtwit
hMikel
ast
ni
ghtandIneedtofi
xit.
Nandi
:Andyouhav
ether
estofy
ourl
i
fet
ofi
xit
,nowi
t'
sourti
me.
Ntombi
:Shei
sri
ght
,pl
uswehav
easur
pri
sef
or
you.
Me:
Whatsur
pri
se?
"
you'l
lsee"Theyal
lsai
dthesametimebef
oreI
f
eltsomethingcov
eri
ngmyey es.
Me:
That
'si
t,Nandi
whatt
hehel
li
sthi
s?
Nandi
:Justshutupandwal
k.
Me:
Iam ki
l
li
ngy
ouaf
terwhat
evert
hisi
s.
Nandi
:
(laughs)wewi
l
lsee.
Theydr
aggedmet owher eev
erwearenow,but
wearei
nar oom becauseNandi
askedthe
ot
hergi
rl
stol
eav
e.
Nandi
:Okay,
takeoft
hebl
i
nd.
It
akeitoffandIam r
eadytocussheroutwhen
myeyeslandonabeautif
ulweddingdr
ess.
Me:
Whydidn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouwer
eget
ti
ng
mar
ri
ed?
Nandi
:Iam notget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed,
thi
sisf
ory
ou.
Me:Whatt
hehel
lam Isupposet
odowi
tha
weddi
ngdr
ess?
Nandi:
Looky ourhusbandmadeallt
hisseem
easybutain'
tnowayI '
m get
tingy
ouinthat
dresswit
houtyourcooperat
ion.
Me:
Myhus.
..
..
.Mi
keknowsaboutt
his?
Nandi:Heplannedi
tall
,andhekindofnewthat
youwer egoi
ngt of
orgetyouranni
ver
saryal
l
becauseofthememor iesyouhaveofyour
weddingdaysohewant edtomakenewones.
Me:
Idoubthest
il
lwant
stoaf
tert
hef
all
outwe
hadl
astni
ght.
Nandi:
Nowgetdressed,
wehav
e15mi
nut
est
o
getyoudownst
air
s.
Me:
Downst
air
s?
Nandi
:Yes,
nowt
akeof
fyourcl
othes.
Itookof fmycl othesst i
lllaughingatmysel f,
I
can'tbeliev
et hisi shappeni ngandt hathewas
actuallybehindi t,thatexpl ainsallt
hosephone
call
sbutIam st i
llamazedt hatMYMi kecan
event hinkofsomet hi
ngr omant i
cast hiswhi ch
al
sogoest oexpl ainwhyhewassoof fendedby
myaccusat i
onsl astnight. Thedr esslookedso
beautifulandi tfi
tper fectlyonmeandt hegirl
s
camebackdr essedupni celyandt heyf ixedmy
makeupandputsomej ewel ler
yonmeand
gaveabouquet.
Nandi
:Youl
ooksobeaut
if
ul,
wer
eadyt
ogo
now.
Me:
Oka,
okayI
'
m notgoi
ngt
ocr
y..
arey
ousur
e
Mi
kei
sbehi
ndal
lthi
s?
Yolanda:
AndIwast hewomanhewaswi t
h
yester
daybecauseIam t
hedesi
gneroft
hat
dress.
Me:
Real
l
y?
Yol
anda:Yes,
thatmanreal
l
ylov
esy
ouhe
wantedi
ttobeperf
ect.
Nandi
:Okaywewi
l
lpr
aiseMi
kel
ater,
nowwe
havet
ogo.
Ifol
lowedbehi ndt hem andwer eachedt hetop
ofthestairsandt herewer edecor ationsallthe
waydownt hest airsbutIcouldnotseewher eit
wasendi ngandIwasnotseei ngany one. Nandi
andt hegir
lsleftmet her
eandt oldmet owait
forthesongt ost art,
Isti
llcannotbel ievethatI
am getti
ngmar ri
edagai nandi twasal l
Mi ke
behindthis.Themusi cstart
sandt hankGodI
havesneaker sonbecauset hisst epsar edamn
l
ong, Ist
artreachi ngtheendandmyey esget
water yasIseeev er
yoneandImeanev er
yone
herelookingatmesoIguesst heyal l
knew
aboutt hi
s,Ifeelmytearsonmyf aceasIlook
atMi keandnextt ohimisMnqobi andSiyaal
l
dressedupandopposi t
ethem i
sCl ai
reandNeli
i
nt heircutedresses.
Iwalkuptotheal
tarandMi ke'
sassissmil
ing
atmeasIwi pemytearsoff.Ir
eachthealt
er
andheholdsmyhandst i
llsmil
inghesureis
l
ovingseei
ngmet hi
sv ul
nerabl
e.
Nel
i
:Mamapi
ckme!
Ever
yonel
aughsatherst
atementIguessno
onetol
dhernott
oaskthat,Cl
airpi
cksherup
andweconti
nuebackwit
ht hewedding.
Pastor:Wear egather
edher etohel
pt hi
s
beautif
ulcoupl
erenewt hei
rv owsbutIwast
old
thatthewifewil
lnotbesayinganyv ows.
Il
ookathi
m wit
haquestioni
ngeyeandhe
l
aughsi
nwardl
y,t
hisj
ackassisenj
oyi
ngthi
s.
Past
or:
Youcangor
ightawaysi
r.
Mike:First l
yl etmecl ari
fythis, ther easonshei s
notrenewi ngherv owsi sbecauseshedoesn' t
needt obecauseshehasst ay edt r
uet oher
origi
nal vowsandhasbeenanamazi ngwi f
e
andadot ingmot hertoourki dsbutIont he
otherhandhav epr esent edsomer ocky
sit
uationst oourmar r
iaget hatshehashadt o
putupwi th. Ly nnIhav eputy out hroughso
muchi nt hispasty earandIst illt
hankGodt hat
youcanst illsayy oul oveme. Iwantt osay
thanky ouf oral way sbeingmynumberone
suppor t
erev enwheny oudi dn' tfeel l
i
keitand
forgi
vingmef oral lmymi stakesandst il
l
all
owingmet obey ourman. Ihav emadey ou
crymor et hanIhav emadey oul aughandasof
todayal l
t hatwi l
l change. Iwill makei tmydai ly
missiont oseet hatbeaut if
ul smi leofy oursand
makesur ey ouf eel t
helov eIhav ef oryouand
feelsecur ei nit. Inev erbelievedi nsoul mates
butbecauseofy ouIt r
ulybel ieveinitandyou
aremi nebutmor ethanany t
hi ngyouaremy
bestfriendandt hanky ouf orgi vi
ngmeaf ami l
y
.Istandi nfrontofGodandOurf amilyand
fr
iendst opr omi seyoupr osper i
ty,
love
,happiness, loyalt
y,protectionofy ourheartand
peace. Youar ebeautif
ul i
nsi deandoutandI
am blessedt ocallyoumywi feandIl oveyou
.OkayI 'm doneshei salreadyweepi ngbutIam
gladthosear etearsofj oythi stime.
Me:IknowIam notsupposet
osayany
thi
ngbut
canIjustsayIl
oveyousomuchandwil
lal
ways
l
ovey ouatanydayandti
me.
Hepulledmeint
ohim andwekissedand
ever
yonestoodupandclappedthei
rhandsiam
sohappyri
ghtnowandi '
m moreinl
ovewithmy
husbandmorethanever.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT57
Li
l
ian
Thisweekhasbeenamazi ng,wear ehav ingfun
andIam enjoy i
ngitbutIam t el
li
ngy ouifI
didn'
tdothet uballigationIwoul dpr obablybe
pregnantagainbecauset hesexdr iv
eoft hat
mani ssomet hingel senott hatI'
m compl ai
ning
though.Themor ningbr eezeofthisplacei s
amazing, I
'
m wal kingbyt hebeachr ightnow
anditssoqui et,Mikei sst i
ll
sleepingwhi chhe
hasbeendoi ngal otl ately.
Hesay sI'
mtheonl
yonewini
ngaboutthekids
butyester
dayhemissedt
hem Icoul
dtel
lnot
thathewouldadmi
tittome.
Idon'
tevenknowwhyI '
m walki
ngsoearlyi
n
themorningbutIjustf
eel l
i
keabsor
bingallt
hat
i
shappeni ngandstayi
nt hemomentbecause
usual
l
yourhappi nessi
sshor tl
i
vedsoitsli
ke
I
'
m const
ant
lywai
ti
ngf
orsomet
hingt
ohappen.
Iwasstil
l i
nmyt houghtwhenIr oughl
yt r
ipped
overcutsteeli
njur
ingmysel fi
nt heprocess
andfell
flatonmyf aceont hesandwi th
i
mmer sepai nfr
om myankl ethatmademe
wanttocr ybutIam toooldforthatbutthis
paini
sbecomi ngst r
onger.
?
??:
Arey
ouokay
?
Iconti
nuedt ost
ayint
hesameposit
ionwit
h
embar r
assmentofhowIfel
ldownandprobabl
y
thefactthatmyfacei
sdi
rty.
???:Cany
oumov eyourl
eg?y
oubl
eedi
nghar
d
Ineedtohel
pyou.
"
bleedi
ng"okaynowt
hisi
sser
ious.
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nkIcan,
i
tst
oopai
nful
.
??
? :Ineedy
out
osi
tupsot
hatIcanhel
pyou
miss.
It
ri
edt
osi
tupbutt
hepai
nseemedt
oget
wor
se.
?
??:
Whoahhst
ayl
i
ket
hat,
youst
ungonanai
l
.
Adultornoadul
t,Icanfeel
myt ear
sreadyt
o
fal
lri
ghtnow.Ir
emai nedonthesandandhe
walkedtomyfeet.
???
:AhhI'
m goingtot
aket
henail
outbuti
ts
goi
ngtobepainful
andpossi
blymor
eblood
wil
lcomeout.
Me:
Doy
ouhav
egl
oveson,
Idon'
twantt
o..
..
.
??
?:Mam Ihav
enoscar
sonmesoIwon'
tpass
myHIVt
oy ou.
Me:
Ther
e'snot
hingf
unnyaboutt
hat.
Hedidn'
trespondandIf
elthishandsonme
andi
naqui ckmovehepulledthenail
outofme
andIscr
eamedsol oudbecauseitwas×10
ti
mespainful.
?
??:
Youneedt
hatcheckedout
.
Me:
Thanksf
orst
ati
ngt
heobv
ious.
?
? ?
:At hanky
ouwouldbeni
ce,myhousei
s
r
ightheresoIcant
akeyoui
nitandt
akecareof
t
hatwoundorIcouldl
eavey
ouheresowhichis
i
t?
Me:
Areyouthathear
tl
esst
haty
oucanl
eav
e
meher
einj
ured?
?
??:
Yourconcl
usi
onnotmi
ne.
Idon'
tev enknowhi snamebuthe' sal
ready
arr
ogantwi thme, Isatupandhepi ckedmeup
andwewal kedint
ohi shousewhi chwasj ust
nexttothebeach. Hepl acedmedownont he
couchandl eft,
okaynowt hi
sisscarri
ngmea
l
itt
lebit.
I'minast rangershousewhatifheki l
ls
meorwor se,hecomesbackwi thamedi calai
d
boxandwi t
hgloveson. Aft
erabout15mi nutes
hewasdonecl eaningmeupandbandagedmy
wholeankle.
Me:
Thanky
ou
?
??:
Nopr
obl
em ,
I
'm Thamsanqa.
Me:
Lil
i
an.
Thami
:Getsomepai
ntabl
etsy
ouwi
l
lbeokay
.
Me:
Howdoy
ouknowal
lthi
s?
Thami
:Iam adoct
or.
Me:
ohh,
I
'm sor
ryaboutear
li
er.
Thami:Yourhusbandmustbeagoodguyi
fhe
putsupwiththatat
ti
tude.
Me:
Howdi
dyouknowIwasmar
ri
ed?
Thami:Onecan'
ti
gnorethatbigrockonyour
fi
ngerandIt
hinkIsawyouy ester
daywit
ha
man.
Me:Well
yeahI
'
m actual
l
yonmyhoneymoon
whi
chisnownotendi
ngonagoodnot
e.
Thami
:Hei
sal
uckyguy
.
Me:
whydoy
ousayt
hat
?
Thami:Youseem l
ikeagoodwomannott
o
menti
onbeautif
ulandsexy.
Me: Thanky
ou,
sur
elyy
ouhav
easpeci
all
adyi
n
yourli
fe?
Thami
:Iwi
shbutI
'
m st
il
li
nhope.
Me:
Thanky
ouagai
nbutIneedt
ogonow.
Thami:Letmehelpyoubecauseyounotf
itt
o
walkbyyoursel
f.Tr
ytoputitdown.
It
ri
edt
oputi
tdownbuti
twasst
il
ltoosor
e
Thami
:ComeonI
'
llcar
ryy
out
oyourhot
el.
Me:
Hot
el?
Howdoy
ouknowI
'
minahot
el?
Thami:
Amar r
iedcoupl
eonhoney
moon,
usual
l
y
usehot
elsorB&B'
s.
Me:
Ohhokay
,butI
'
m sur
eyour
eal
i
seI
'
m heav
y
.
Thami
:Notr
eal
l
yandbesideswit
hal adyl
i
ke
youi
nmyarmsIcanhar
dlynoti
cethat.
Me:
Youachar
merIsee.
Thami
:It
ry.
Hedoesseem li
keaniceguyandhisfl
ir
ti
ng
di
dn'
tgoun-noti
cedbuttoobadforhi
mI '
m
cont
entwhereIam .
Hecarriedmeonhisbackall
thewaybackt
o
thehotelandIwal
kedtoourroom wi
nci
ngi
n
painandMi kewassi
tt
ingonthecouch
watchi
ngTV.
Me:
Heybaby
!!
Mi
ke:
Wher
ewer
eyou?
Me:
Excuseme?Notev
ena"
Hi"
Mi
ke:
Answermyquest
ion.
Me:Wel
li
fyouwoul
dli
ketoknowIwastaki
ng
awal
kandIhur
tmyselfandi
fyoucar
edyou
woul
dnoti
ced.
Mike:Nowyoulooki
ngf
oraf
ight
,Iwasj
ust
aski
ngaquesti
on.
Me:
What
ever.
Mi
ke:
Whowast
hatmancar
ryi
ngy
ou?
Me:
Theonewhohel
pedme!
Mike:
Andyoudi
dn'
tseeapr
obl
em wi
thy
ou
bei
ngonanot
hermansar
ms?
Me:I'
m noti
nt hemoodforyourj
ealoustact
ics
,t
hatmanhel pedmeandnoIdi dn'
tsee
anyt
hingwrongwithi
tbecauseIcan'tusemy
l
eg.
Mi
ke:
Ijustdon'
tfeel
comf
ort
abl
ewi
thi
t.
Me:
Well
tough,t
here'
swasnowayIwasgoi
ng
t
omakeither
ewith1leg.
Mi
ke:
Heseemedt
..
..
.
Me:Geezcanyouj uststopwi
ning,
asmy
husbandyoushouldbeaskinghowI'm doi
ng
i
nsteadofbei
nglikethis.
Isatonthebedfrankl
yir
rit
atedbyMike,i
nst
ead
ofaski
ngmeal lt
hesestupidquesti
onshe
shoul
dbespooningr i
ghtnow,I'
minpainfor
goodnesssakebutnotthathecares,
ri
ghti
tsal
l
abouthi
sego.
Heswi
tchedof
ftheTVandcamet
osi
tnextt
o
me.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ry,
howbadi
stheankl
e?
Me:It
ssor
ebuti
twil
lbeal
ri
ghtal
thoughi
ts
har
dtoputi
tdown.
Mi
ke:
Shoul
dwegety
oucr
ushes?
Me:No,Ihavemyownper
sonal
transpor
tsoI
don'
tneedthem .
Mike:
Wedefini
tel
yget
ti
ngt
hem ,
I
'm get
ti
ng
ol
derbyday
.
Me:
(l
aughs)Icoul
dtel
lbyy
oursl
eepi
nghabi
ts.
Mike:ButIdon'
twanty
ougoi
ngt
ost
ranger
s
houses.
Me:Babynotev
er y
oneisouttogety
ou,
some
peopl
earej
ustnicethat
'si
t.
Mi
ke:
Wel
lIhav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou.
Me:
Pleasedon'
ti
fyounotgoi
ngt
otel
lme.
Hestoodupandsatmeuppr oper
lyonthebed
andrantotakethel
aptop,
heseemedvery
exci
ted.aboutwhat
evert
hisi
s.
Mi
ke:
Closey
ourey
es.
Me:
Mike!
!
Mi
ke:
Closet
hem!
Iclosedmyey esandhet oldmet oopenthem
andwhenIdi dIsawt hekidsonthescreenand
quicklygazedmyey esathim andhesmiled
.Theyal lscr
eamed" mama"atthesamet ime
andmyl it
tl
eguy swast r
yingtowiggl
ehimself
offfrom MaMar thaandIjustsmil
edwithtear
s
i
nmyey es.
Mnqobi
:Mamawhenar
eyoucomi
nghome?
Me:
Soonbaby
,youal
lokay
?
Nel
i
:Imi
ssy
oumama.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oobaby,
Siy
amf
anakama,
you
donotmi
ssmommy
?
Si
ya:
Imi
ssy
ou.
Siy
aistheonlynormaloneinallmykids,he'
s
morechil
ledandcalm anddoesn'
ttal
kmuch
whichsometimesworryme. weconti
nuedt o
tal
ktothekidsforawhil
eandMj wascry
ingI
missedmybaby.
Mi
ke:
Don'
tcr
y.
Me:Imisst
hem,canwegohomepl
easeor
br
ingt
hem her
e.
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
thi
nkabouti
t.
Me:
Hav
eyoueat
en?
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
makebr
eakf
astf
orus.
Me:Il
oveyou,butnothanky
ouont
hatof
fer
.Or
derroom ser
vice.
Mi
ke:
I'
m hur
t,
mycooki
ngi
snotbad.
Me:
Justbegr
atef
uly
ouhav
eawi
fet
otake
car
eofy
ou.
Mi
ke:
ThatIam
Hestooduptomakethecall
forroom servi
ce
andmyphonerangnoti
fyi
ngmeofamessage
,Iqui
ckl
yopenthemessagefr
om theunknown
number,
"Don'
tfor
gett
ogetthetablet
s...
..
T"
IshotmyeyesatthemessageandIqui
ckl
y
knewitwasThamsanqabuthowdidhegetmy
numberbecauseIknowIdi
dn't
.
Mi
ke:
Youokay
?
Me:
Yeahh,
whatdi
dyouor
der
?
Mi
ke:
Yourv
igi
na!
!
Me:
urggghy
ouar
esuchaper
vandnast
y.
Mi
ke:
Youl
i
kei
t.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT58
Li
l
ian
Iscream i
nextr
emepleasureasIfeel
my
orgasm spl
ashi
ngonhim atthesametime
feel
inghisnuti
nsi
deme, hecover
smymout h
tokeepsmymoansdown.
Ifeelmylegsbecomingjell
yandIrestmyface
ont hecount
erashewi pesthemessofour
acti
onf r
om myleg.Ifi
xmydr essandhefi
xes
hi
spant s.
Me:
sinceyouchosetodi
str
actme,
youhel
ping
mewithbr
eakfast.
Mike:Idi
dnot
hing,
yourasswast
oohor
ny
anyway.
Me: Babypl
ease,y
ourki
dswi
l
lwi
ningi
nthe
nextfi
veminutes.
Mi
ke:
Fine.
Hei
sdef
ini
tel
ynott
ouchi
ngt
hef
ood,
hewi
l
l
j
usthelpinsett
ingthet able.
Wellwecutt he
honeymoonshor tbecauseofmyl egwhi chis
nowbetterbutIthi
nkt hatisj
usthisexcuse
becausehereall
yjustmi ssedthekidssodidI
,sowehav ebeenbackf oraweekandIwon' t
l
ieImissedmyki ds.
Mike:
LynnIwasthi
nki
ng,
Ishoul
deaseupon
t
hesecuri
tyont
hehouse.
Me:
Why
??
Mike:Weokaynow,Idon'
thav
enor
easont
o
watchovermyshoul
der.
Me:Okaybutnotal
lofi
t,andweneedtofi
xthe
backyar
dfortheki
dsIthinkt
heygetbor
ed
pl
ayingi
nthehouseal
ltheti
me.
Mi
ke:
OkayI
'
llf
indsomeonet
ofi
xit.
Mnqobi
:Mor
ning(
brushi
nghi
sey
es)
Me:
Gobackandwashy
ourf
ace.
Mnqobi
:Butmom Iam hungr
ya.
..
Ijustgav ehi
m adeadst
areandheknewbet
ter
thant orepl
yback,
hewalkedbackmumbl
i
ng
what ever.
Mi
ke:
Whydoy
oual
way
sdot
hat?
Me:
Dowhat
?
Mi
ke:
Behar
dont
hem,
Imeanhei
shungr
y.
Me:Iam notbei
nghardonthem ,
I'
m simply
gr
oomingthenandifIl
eavethatt
oy outheywi
l
l
gr
owupspoi l
ed.
Mike:
Ijustbel
i
evei
ngi
vi
ngmyki
dsev
ery
thi
ng
t
heywant.
Me:Andtheresnoprobl
em wi
ththatbutther
e's
acert
ainl
eveltoi
t,ki
dswantever
ythi
ngbutits
uptoyouasaparenttogiv
ethem whatthey
need.
Mi
ke:
Iam notgoodatt
hispar
ent
ingt
hing.
Me:Youar
eanamazingf
atherespeci
all
ywhen
i
tcomestospoi
l
ingt
hem .
Thetwinscamedownalsolooki
ngsl
eepyandI
bethungeri
swhatwokethem up.
Me:
ncoooher
ear
emybabi
es!
!!
Nel
irantoMikeandIpickedupSiyaandhel
aid
hi
sheadonmychestandbot hMikeandI
l
ookedateachotherbecausethi
swasnew
.Si
yaisnevercl
i
ngylikeanormalchi
ld.
Me:
Youst
il
lsl
eepybaby
?
Henodshisheadandshift
sbri
ngi
nghishands
onmyneckandr est
shisheadonmyshoulder,
I
mustbeinluckt
odayforhimtobethi
s
at
tachedt
ome.
Me:
Fana?
?
Hedoesnotr
espond.
Mike:(
laughs)Heisbackt
osl
eep,
Iguesshe
wantedhismother.
Me:
letmeputhi
m down.
Imov
edov
ert
othecouchandt
ri
edt
oputhi
m
downbuthet
oughenhi
shol
donme,
Okayt
his
i
sweir
d.
Me:Yourchi
l
disbeingt
oclingy,
howam I
supposet
oeatwit
hhimlikethi
s?
Mi
ke:
ohhnowhei
smychi
l
donl
y?
Mnqobi
:Mom I
'
m done,
canIeatnow?
Mi
ke:
Sitdown.
Weallsatdownandaft
erastruggl
eIf
inal
l
y
managedtoputhimtohischai
randweate
br
eakfastwit
hMnqobiaski
ngstupi
dquesti
ons
ev
erynowandt hen.
Aft
ereat i
ngIbathedthetwinsandat
tendedto
Mj becauseIwantust ogobuytheki
dssome
newcl ot
hes.Iwalkeddownstai
rswit
hMj onmy
chestbuthewasbusyeat ingmyfaceIhave
madepeacewi t
hitbecauseallmyki
dsdoand
i
tsagoodt hi
ngIdon'twearmakeup.Asmile
spreadsacrossmyf aceasIam metbya
beautif
ulbunchofrosesandaboxofchocolate
onthecount
er,
Mikei
sreal
l
yst
eppi
nguphi
s
game.
Igr
abbedthem i
nhal
ingt
hei
rscentandMike
cameintheki
tchenandhedi
dn'
tseem happy.
Mi
ke:
Ohhy
oul
ovey
ourf
lower
s?
Me:
(smi
l
es)Yeah,
thanksbabe.
Mike:
Idi
dn'
tbuyyout
hoseflower
s,secur
it
y
br
oughtt
hem her
esay
ingtheyyour
s.
Me:
What
?Thenwhodi
d?
Mike:
Iwashopi
ngy
oucoul
dtel
lme,
ther
e'sa
card.
Bytheevidentlookonhi sface,t
hiswasnot
l
ookinggoodonmysi de.IhandedMj t
ohim
andtookthecar dreadingit"Beauti
ful
rosesf
or
abeauti
fullady.xxx"
Mi
ke:
So?
Me:Idon'
tknow,
i
tjustsay
sthi
s(gi
vi
nghi
mthe
car
d).
Mike:
Soast r
angerj
usthappenedt
obuyal
lthi
s
andsenti
ttomyhouse,toyou?
Me:Idon'
tknowwhatyouwantmet
osay,
I
don'
tknowwhosentthese.
Mike:
Whoevert
hisboyfr
iendofy
oursis,
tel
l
hi
mt ost
opsendi
ngflowersinmyhouse.
Me:
Mywhat
?Ido.
..
..
Wewer eint
err
uptedbyt hesecur i
tyt
ell
i
ngmeI
haveapackageoutside,Mike'slooksatme
wit
haquest i
oni
nglookandwebot hwalk
out
sidethegateandt hereisablueAudi A3
wit
habi gbowoni tandi talsocomeswi tha
car
d" Idi
dn'
tknowwhi choney ouwouldli
ke"
Mikegrabbedthecardreadi
ngitandav
einwas
al
readyevidentonhi
sforehead.
Mi
ke:
Youst
il
ldon'
tknow?
Hesaidwal
kingbacktothehouseleav
ingme
st
unnedwit
ht hi
s,whatt
hehelldoIdowitht
his
carandmor eimport
antlywhothehell
sentit
.Kagisoisdeadsothiscan'
tbehim wit
hhis
mindgames. Aquickideacametomymi nd
,Luckytheguard.
Me:
Luckydr
ivet
hecari
n,i
tsy
our
s.
Lucky
:Excusememam?
Me:
Isai
dthecari
syour
s,y
oucanhav
eit
.
Il
efthimther
ewit
hhismouthsti
llhungopen
,r
ightnowIneedt
oexplai
nthist
oMi keyetI
don'
tevenknowwhatIam expl
aini
ng.
Iwalkedinsi
deandhewaswi t
htheki
dsand
theylookedr
eadytogoshopping.
Mike:
Ar ey
our
eadyt
ogo?Theyget
ti
ng
i
mpatient.
Mnqobi
:Pl
usmom Isawt
hispai
rofsneaker
s..
..
Icoul
dhardl
yhearwhatMnqobiwassaying,
my
eyeswer
ef i
xat
edonMikebuthelookednormal
andfi
nesoIpull
edmyselfbacktoget
herand
concentrat
edonwhatwasgoi ngonr i
ghtnow
andt hati
stotakethekidsshopping.Theki ds
walkedoutfir
standwhathedi dnextl eftme
puzzled,hepull
edmet ohim wit
hhisot her
handbecauset heotheronewashol dingMj ,
he
tonguedmedownwi thasensualkisst hatleft
meweaki nmyknees. Hepull
edawayand
walkedawayl eavi
ngmei nthesameposi ti
on,I
don'tknowwhati shappeni
ngheret oday.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT59
Li
l
ian
Iam backtosquareonewi t
hMi keandbythatI
meanIam backi ntheposi t
ionofbeingscar
ed
ofwhathei sgoingtodo, hehasnotbroughtup
theissueofthoseparcelsandhei swayto
chil
l
edf orwhatIexpected.Ilot
ionmyhands
from thebat hroom whil
ewat chi nghi
m andhe
wassof ocusedont hegame, thisischil
dishI
am nowi ndeci si
veofwhet hertogooutornot
butthenagai nIwon'texactl
ysl eepont he
bathroom ,thisisgoingtobeal ongnightandI
havenoexcuset onotbear oundhi m because
thekidsar efastasleepafterthatshoppi ng
spree.
Iwalkedi ntot
hebedr oom andgotundert he
coversbutnotev enoncedi dhet urnhisey es
onmeandhonest lyI'
m notupf orhi spetty
moodssohei sgoi ngtohav etot alktome
becauseI 'minthedar kashei saboutt hose
parcels.Outoff urryIgr abbedt her emot efrom
hi
sl apandt urnedt het elevi
sionof fandhej ust
l
ookedatme, alr
eadyopeni ngpor esinmyf ace
andIf eelmyhear tracing.Howi st hi
sstill
possible,Ihavebeenwi ththi
smanl ongenough
buthecanst i
llsendmyner vest oast raight100.
Mi
ke:
Youdoknowt
hegamewasnotf
ini
shed
r
ight?
Me:Idon'
tcar
eaboutnostupidgame,
howl
ong
ar
eyougoingtokeepav
oidingme?
Mike:
Firstofal
lIdon'tl
ikethetoneofyour
voi
ceandsecondl yIam notavoidi
ngyou,we
wentshoppingtogether
.
Me:Youonlywentt her
ebecauseoft
heki
ds
,y
ouhardlyacknowledgedmeandevenduri
ng
di
nneryouwerelikethi
s.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anst
oppushi
ngt
hingsokay.
Me:Howam Ipushi
ngt
hingsi
fIwantt
o
communi
cat
ewi t
hmyhusband?
Mike:
Aboutwhatexact
ly?Whatdoy
ouwant
f
rom me?
Me:
Iwantyout
osaysomet
hingaboutt
his
mor
ning.
Mike:Iaskedyoui
fyouhaveaboy f
ri
endand
yousaidno,sowhatar
ey oust
ressedabout
?
Me:
Thi
s(f
lexi
ngmyhandathi
m)y
ouar
ecal
m.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
ouwantmet
odo?
Rant?
Me:
Notexact
ly.
Mi
ke:See,
youalsodon'tknowwhaty
ouwant
metodosoletmebet hisway.
Me:Okay,
butst
opmakingmef eel
gui
l
tyf
or
somet
hingIdonotknowei
ther.
Mi
ke:Nowyoubeingpar
anoi
d,howam I
maki
ngyoufeel
guil
ty?
Me:Youdidn'
tev
ensay"
Ilov
eyou"t
odayand
noaff
ect
ionatal
l.
Mike:
Ist
hiswhatt
hisi
sreal
l
yabout?
Come
here!
Hesaidpulli
ngmei ntohisl
apwhil
ehewas
l
eaningont heheadboard.Hi
shandsqui
ckly
goingundermyt -
shir
tgrabbi
ngbot
hmy
breast
s,okaymay beheisnotmadasIthought.
Mi
ke:
YouknowIl
ovey
ouev
ery
dayandl
ove
youwit
hmyl i
feandImaynotal
way
ssayi
t
ever
ydaybutIdookay.
Me:
Mhhh(
noddi
ngmyhead)
Mike:Butwhoev
ersentt
hoset
hingsher
eis
goingtopayf
ori
t.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat?
Mike:Whoeverthi
smani sdisrespectedmein
myhome,andt hefactthatal
lhisthingswere
annonymousmeansheknowsy oumar ri
edbut
hedoesn'
tcareaboutthateit
her.
Me:
Igetal
lthatbutwhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
Mi
ke:
Probabl
yteachhi
m al
essonorki
l
lhi
m.
Me:Mziwonkey
ounotki
ll
i
ngany
one,
Ithought
yousai
dyouweredonewi
tht
hat
?
Mike:Atthati
nst
antIwas,
butIam notgoi
ngt
o
bedisrespect
edbyanot
hermaninmyhouse.
Me:Andt
henwhathappenswhenyouget
ar
rest
ed?Howam Isupposet
orai
setheseki
ds
bymysel
f.
Mike:
Whosai
dany
thi
ngaboutmebei
ng
ar
rest
ed?
Me: Babypl
easedowhat
everbutnotki
l
li
ng,you
havekill
edwaytomanypeopl
einyourl
if
eti
meI
thi
nknowi senough.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyoubaby,
goodni
ght
.
Me:
Ihat
ethat
.
Mi
ke:
Iknow.
Irol
ledbackonmysi deofthebedandhe
broughtmeclosert
ohi m put
ti
nghi shandon
myv agina,
Ist
oppedf i
ghti
nghim aboutt hat
becausethati
showhesl eepsevery dayand
minuteslat
erIf
eltmysleepcreepingi nandit
wasl i
ghts.
.
.
(
fol
l
owi
ngmor
ning)
Irol
ledtohissideoft hebedandhewasnot
ther
eandsomet hingquickl
yf reakedmeout
becauseofwhathesai dlastnight.Isawanote
nexttohissidetableandIj umpedt oreadi
t
"Morningmyl ove,Il
ov eyou.Iwentt oa
meet i
ngoutoft ownforbusi nesswi l
lbeback
l
ater,don'
tmi ssmet oomuch. "
Businessmeetingmyf oot,heisonaheadhunt
forwhoeversentmet hoset hi
ngs, Ipi
ckedup
myphoneandcal l
edhi m butitwentst rai
ghtto
voicemailandthere'
snowayofst oppinghim
now, manandt heirego'sthough.Ilookedatthe
ti
meandi twas5: 30am , whot hehel l
goesina
meet i
ngthatearl
y?
Itooka10mi nut
eshowerandfixedmysel f
beforethemessbegi ns.
Schoolmor ni
ngsare
thewor stespeci
all
ywhenIhavetodr opthem
off,f
ir
stlyMnqobitakes5to10mi nutestobe
actuall
yawakeandt hebathi
nganddr essi
ng
processisworsehei ssocl umsy,NeliandSiya
samebutNel iisbeginningtoadaptanewhabi t
ofwant i
ngtochoseherowncl ot
hesbutthatis
nothappeningandwef ightaboutitbutIam t
he
mot herandshe'sthechild,l
ikei'
vesaidbefor
e
Siyaismyultimatewel l
behav echil
dhegi v
es
menot r
ouble.
Iwasdonef ixingthet
winsandMj don'taskme
whyhei sawakesoear lybutIguessIam taki
ng
hi
m wi thmet ooandtheywerehav i
ngtheir
breakfastwhil
ei f
edMj andofcauseMnqobi i
s
st
illi
nhi sr
oom.
Me:(shout
ing)Mnqobi
youwi
l
lleav
ewi
thout
eat
ingkanti!
!!
Hecamedownst airsl
ookingamessandI
rel
easedasighfi
xinghim whi
leheat
e,hei
s
busybuzzi
ngmeaboutwant i
ngmoneyandyet
hecantevendressproper
ly.
t
hisj
obcal
l
edmot
heri
sti
ri
ngbutt
reasur
abl
eat
thesameti
me,seei
ngmykidsever
ydayand
helpi
ngt
hem getr
eadyf
orschooli
samazing.
Me:
Okayguysfini
shupandt
akey
ourt
hingst
o
t
hecarpl
ease!
!
ItookMj andhisbottleandmycarkey swalking
behindthem t othecar,weallsettl
edinthecar
andIdr ovet othetwinsdaycarefir
standthey
practi
callyjumpedof fthecarwithexci
tementI
di
dn'tev engetmygoodby ekissesbutthat'
s
okay.Nextst opwasMnqobi 'sschooland
beforehegotof fIst
oppedhim.
Me:
Her
e(gi
vi
nghi
m aR10)Don'
tgetusedt
oit!
Idon'
tknowwhenorhowhecamet omyseat
buthewasonmyl apri
ghtnowhuggingme
,t
henhet ell
smehei sgrownbutwhatIam
seei
ngher eisbabyt
endenci
esbutthat
'sokay
hewil
lalwaysbemybaby.
Mnqobi
:Youar
ethebestmom ev
er,
Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
mhhr
emembert
hatwheny
ouhav
eto
empt
ythebi
n.
Mnqobi
:Mama.
Me:Thoughtasmuch,
Mal
umeLuckywi
l
lpi
ck
youupaft
erschool
.
Mnqobi
:Whycan'
tyou?
It'
sni
ceandf
unwhen
youdo.
Me:
I'
ll
thi
nkabouti
t,nowgobef
orey
oul
ate.
Mnqobi
:Okay.
Iopenedmydoorandhegotof fandIf ixedhis
ti
eandhewal kedi nsi
det heschool premi ses
andIsmi l
edknowi ngthatt hehar dpar twas
fi
nishedf ort
hedaywel luntilIhav etopr epare
them forbedandwhi chremi ndsmeIneedt o
buyNel i'
shairproducts.Ismi l
edlookingatmy
revi
ewedseei ngMj sl
eepingser v
eshi m good
fortryi
ngt oactasanadul t.Idrovet othemal l
andt hankgodt heshopIwasgoi ngtowas
open, l
ist
enIam anor di
nar ymom nomat ter
howmuchmoneyIhav e,IhadMj onmyback
andwal kedtobuyt
hethi
ngsIwant
edbutasI
walkedt ot
heparki
ngl
otafamil
i
arvoi
ce
anchoredinmyears.
Itur
nedbackandi
twasThamsanqa,wel
lfor
star
ter
sIwasshockedt
hathewashere,
twoI
j
ustrememberedt
hesit
uat
ionofhi
m hav
ingmy
number.
Thami
:Iseet
hel
eghasheal
edqui
tewel
l
.
Me:Yeahi
t'
smuchbet
ternow,
thanky
ou.
I
di
dn'
tknowyoul
iv
edhere.
Thami
:HereisS.
A?Wellt
hisi
smyhome,
Iwas
i
nJamaicaformedi
cal
busi
ness.
Me:
Alr
ight,
i
t'
sni
ceseei
ngy
ou.
Thami:Iwoul
dhav el
ovedt
oseey
oursonbutI
canseeheissleepi
ng.
Ibl
inkedmyeyesatt
hementionof"
son"
becauseI'
m pr
it
ymuchsur
ethatMjwas
coveredupsohewoul
dn'
tknowandIdon't
r
emembert
alki
ngt
ohi
m aboutmehav
ingki
ds.
Me:Ohhwel
lmay
benextt
ime,
Ihav
etogo
nowI'
l
lseey
ouar
ound.
Thami
:Al
ri
ght,
hav
eagoodday
.
Me:
Yout
oo.
Iwalkedinsi
demycarput ti
ngMj attheback
andasIsatdownIr eleasedasi ghofr el
ievei
ts
l
ikeIwashol di
ngmybr eathwhil
ewi t
h
him,t
here'
sadi f
ferentaur atohim andi t
snota
niceone,IhavethisfeelingthatIcan'tshakeoff
abouthim andthispar tofhim knowingso
muchaboutmef reaksmeout, ohhhhnowai t
heknewIwasmar ri
edandwher eIwasi n
j
amai caandnowheknowsIhav easonnono
thosegift
scan'tbefrom hi m unl
essofcause
heknowswher eIl i
vebutwhy?
Itookmyphonecall
ingMi
kebuti
tsentmet
o
voicemai
lagai
n,Dammit.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT60
Li
l
li
an
It
sbeenhour sandMi kehasnotcomebacknor
answer inghisphoneandt obehonestIam
panickingbecauseIknowhewentt ono
businessmeet ing. Ihav ewentt hroughwi thmy
theoryov erandov erandi tmakessenset hat
Thamsanqai sbehi ndofal l
this,
butwhy ?The
factthatheknowsl i
terall
yev ery
thingaboutme
andwher eIli
vei screepyandscar ingt heshit
outofme. Dammi t,i
fheknowsev erything
aboutmet henthatbumpi ngintoeachwason
purposeandcal culatedwhi chcoul dmeanhe
probablyknowsMi kei snothome. Okay,thi
nk
Lil
ian,
think.
"MNQOBI"Ical
ledoutandhecamer unni
ng
downthestai
rsandhonestl
yathousandthi
ngs
aregoi
ngthroughmyheadbutsomet hi
ngtel
ls
met ogett
hem outofher
e,Ican'
tshakethe
feel
i
ngthatsomethi
ngisabouttohappened.
Mnqobi
:Ma
Me:
Gety
ourbr
otherandsi
sterdownher
e,f
ast.
Hequickl
ywentbackupst air
sandIf ol
lowed
backtogetMj andsomeoft hei rt
hingsthat
theygoi
ngtoneed, Ical
ledNandi butherphone
wasonv oi
cemai l
,whyisever
y one'
sdamn
phoneoffespecial
lynow.IdialedSizwebuthis
phonewasalsoof f.
In15mi nutesIwasdoneandt hekidswer e
waiti
ngi ntheki
tchen, Itol
dt hem towal kout
butallthatwasdisturbedbyaknockont he
door."damm whot hehel l
isthat?"IplacedMj
downandwentt oanswert hedoorandmyey es
poopedouti mmedi atelyont hesightof
Thamsanqa, Iquicklyturnbackl ookingatthe
kidsthenbacktohi m.Idon' tknowwhatt oask
fi
rst
,shoul
dIsay"whatyoudoinghereorhow
di
dy ougetpastsecur
it
y?"Focus,
focus!!
Me:
Hey,
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Thami :
youmakei tsoundli
keitsabadt
hing
thatIam her
e,can'
tIvi
sitafr
iend?
Me:Ohhnothi
ngli
ket
hat
,j
ustsur
pri
sedy
ou
knowwhereIl
ive.
Hiseyesqui
ckl
yroam behi
ndmeandhe
catchest
hegli
mpseofthekids.
Thami
:
Yougoi
ngsomewher
e?
Me:Ahh..
.no,
wejustcamebackf
rom my
br
other
shouse,
comein.
Iopenedthedoorforhim andhecameinand
thepray
ergoingthroughmyheadr i
ghtnowi
s
sodeepandpl eadi
ng.
Me:
Mnqobi
goupst
air
swi
tht
hem .
Mnqobi
:Butmom y
..
..
Me:
Mnqobi
!!
Hegav emet heannoyedfacebutthenleft,
Iam
notinthemoodt oentert
ainhim.
Afterthey
dissapear
edupstai
rsIbroughtmyf ocusback
toThamsanqa, Iam evenafr
aidt
oaskhowhe
gotherebecausethesecurit
yisst
il
l t
ight
unlesshedidsomethingtothem .
Me:
CanIgety
ousomet
hingt
odr
ink?
Thami
:Wat
erpl
ease!
!
Imademywayt othesink,whenIfill
edthe
glasswi thwaterInoticedmyhandsshaki ng
,okayt hat'
siti
m offi
ciall
yscared,Igivehi
mt he
wat erandIimmedi atelyreachforthecouch
l
ooki ngformyphoneandIseei tont opofthe
shelvebutIguesshesawmebecausehe
j
umpedf oritfi
rst.
Me:
CanIhav
emyphonepl
ease?
Thami
:Whatf
or?
Me:Whatdoy
oumean?
Lastt
imeIchecked
t
hati
smyphone!
!!
Thami:Rel
ax,
youandIneedt
otal
kwi
thout
di
stur
bance.
Me:
Youcr
eepi
ngmeoutf
orr
eal
.
Thami
:Si
tdown.
Isatdownandhemovedandsatri
ghtnextt
o
me,wherethehel
li
sMikewhenyouneedhim.
Thami:Youareanamazi
ngwoman,
sexy
,beaut
if
ulandsmart.
Me:
Thanky
ou
Thami
:Andthetr
uthisthatIhavebeeni
nlove
wit
hyouforawhil
enowandt hatmanofyour
s
i
snotsui
tabl
eforyouIam.
Me:
Excuseme?
??
Thami:
Iam ser
ious,
Icanmakeyouhappymor
e
thanhedoesandIwil
lnev
ercheatonyou.
Me:
Youmustmeloosi
ngy
ourmar
blesf
or
r
eal
,
youdon'
tev
enknowme.
Thami:Iknowenought
elly
outhathei
s
probabl
ywithhi
sbit
chri
ghtnow.
Me:
CanIhav
emyphonepl
ease!
!!
Thami:
Arey
ouev
enl
i
steni
ngt
owhatIam
sayi
ng?
Me:Shoul
dI?Becausewhaty
ousay
ingi
sbul
l
shi
tandIwil
lnotl
ist
entoi
t.
Thami
:Youmaki
ngi
tsoundl
i
kei
tsabadt
hing.
Me:I
sn'ti
t,f
ir
stl
yyouhavebeenstal
ki
ngme
andsendi
ngmegi ft
snowtellmeift
hati
sthe
appr
oachtoconfessyourl
ovetosomeone.
Thami
:Iwasnotst
alki
ngy
ou,
Ij
ustwant
edt
o
knowi
nfoonyou.
Me:AndI'
m sureonthati
nfoyouknowIam
marri
edandIlovemyhusbandverymuchsoI
am noti
nter
estedi
nallt
his.
Thami:Whyar
eyounotev
enwi
l
li
ngt
ogi
veme
achance?
Me:
Letgoofmyhandpl
ease
Iwasaboutt oy ankitoffwhenthedoorswing
open"pl
easeLor d,
letitbeMike"
.Isawthe
panici
nhisey esandbef or
eIcouldbl
inkagai
nI
fel
tamet al
bei ngshov edonmybackandI
gaspedreal
isingitsagun.
?
??:
Isany
onehome,
thesec.
..
.
Shestoppedathert
racksandofcauseshe
can'
tseethegunonmyback.
Me:
Thabi
sa.
.whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Thabisa:Wel
lIj
ustwantedt
ocomeover,
I
di
dn'tthi
nkyouwouldhaveapr
obl
em .
Thami
:Whoi
sthi
s?
Me:
mydaught
er.
Thami:
Youlyi
ng,yourdaught
erisi
nlondon
.Li
li
anIswearI
'l
lbl
owy ourbr
ainsouti
fyou
cal
l
edt
hecops.
Thabi
sa:
Sho.
..
t,whatdoy
oumean,
what
s
goi
ngon?
Thami:Gi
vemeal
lyourGadget
sandsi
twher
eI
canseeyou.
Thabi
sa:
Forwhat
?
Me:
Thabi
saj
ustdowhathesay
s.
Thabi
sar el
uctant
lysatdownhereyesfi
xated
onme, shealwayshasagoodt i
mingforthese
si
tuat
ions.
Thami
:Youmaki
ngal
lthi
snowdi
ff
icul
tnow
Li
li
an.
Me:Justputthegundownpl
ease,
Idi
dn'tcal
l
any
oney ouhavemyphonerememberandI
washerewithyou.
Thami
:Cal
lyourki
dsupst
air
s.
Me:j
ustleavemyki
dsoutofher
epl
ease,
they
don'
thav
et oseewhat
evert
hisi
s.
Thami
:Cal
lthem
Icall
edmnqobiandhecamewiththetwinsand
theynowsit
ti
ngonthecouchasiftheyknow
ther
e'sagunshovedi
nmyback,Thabisahel
d
Mj i
nherarms.
Thami:t
hisi
syourfaul
thadyoudoneand
accept
edmylove,t
hiswouldn'
tbehappeni
ng.
Me:"whatishappening?"Doyouev
enknow
whatyouaredoingbecauseIdonot.Noone
cal
l
edt hepol
icejuststopthi
sandl
eaveIwon'
t
doanythi
ngaboutit.
Thami
:Iam notl
eav
ingher
ewi
thoutwhatI
want.
Me:Thati
snev
ergoi
ngtohappen,sohowlong
doyoupl
anondoi
ngwhatev
eriti
sy oudoi
ng.?
Thami
:Whyar
eyouf
ight
ingt
his?
Me:Howdoyouexpectmetodothatwhenyou
act
ingl
i
ket
his,
lookatthi
smyki
dsar escar
ed
y
ouar
epr
act
ical
l
yhol
dingushost
age.
Thami
:You(
poi
nti
ngagunatThabi
sa)Younota
cop?
Whenhepoi
ntthegunatThabi
saal
ltheki
ds
scr
eamed,
thi
smani scr
azy
Thabi
sa:
Nosi
r
Me:okaycany
ouputt
hegundown,
thi
sis
madness.
Thami:
YouandIcanleaveandgosomewher
e
wherewecanbehappyjustus.
OkayitseemsIhav emy selfanotherTshepi so
si
tuat
ionbutatleastthatonedi dincludemy
ki
ds,nowIhav etodreadcar eful
lynott osay
anyt
hingthatwil
lsethim offbecausef orbidsif
anyt
hinghappenst omyki dsasar esul
toft hi
sI
wil
lki
llhi
m mysel f.
Boom outofnowher
eapoli
cesir
enstart
sto
makenoiseandIcoul
dseetheangerandrange
i
nhi
sey
es.
Thami
:(
slapsme)Youl
i
edt
ome!
!!
!!
looknow
whaty
oudi d.
Mnqobi
:Leav
emymom al
one!
!!
!
Thabi
sa:
Mnqobi
keepqui
et.
Me:(
HOLDINGMYFACE) Noonecall
edt
hecops
.Li
steni
tsfadi
ngawaymeani
ngitwasnot
comingher
e.
Thami:
Makeafoolofmeonemor
eti
meI
sweariwi
l
lki
l
lal
lofthem .
Hetookhisphoneandcall
edsomeonetel
li
ng
them t
ocheckwherethepoli
cecarwent,
I
guesshedidnotcomeherealone.
Thami:
Iam sor
ryforsl
appi
ngy
ou,
Ithought
youcal
ledt
hem .
Heforcedahugonmeandat angl
ewent
thr
oughmybodywit
hdisgust,
mymi ndi
sbl
ank
Idon'
tknowhowtogetusoutofhere
.
Thi
nk,
thi
nk,
thi
nk,
focus.

.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT61
Mi
ke
Ist
rugglet
oopenmyey esasIcoughr oughly,I
l
ooknexttomeandTyi spassedoutIr eal
l
y
don'
tknowwhathappenedher e.Ishakehim
andhewakesupcoughi ngtooandwebot hget
outofthecarbecauseofthesmellofgasini t.
Ty
:Man,
whathappenedt
oyourcar
.wher
ewas
al
lthatgascomi
ngf
rom ?
Me:Idon'tknow,
noonet ouchedmycarexcept
meandt hefactt
hati
tcamesost rongmaking
uspassouti mmedi
atel
y.
Ty:
Someonehast
obebehi ndt
his,
thatgas
waspl
ant
edwithi
ntent
ion.
Whathewassay ingmakessense, someone
must '
vebeenbehindt
hisbecauseIremember
beingsleepywhi
ledri
vi
ngafterthati
'm al
lbl
ank
yetthecarispar
kedperfect
lyawayfrom the
road.
Me:
Who?
,whatt
imei
sit?
Ty:Checkt
hephonesandbutwepr
obabl
ylat
e
fort
hemeeting.
Iopenedal
lthedoorsofthecartogetthesmell
ofgasoutandcheckedtheti
meont hephone
andIgasped,andIimmediat
elysawabout15
missedcal
lsfrom Li
l
ian,
sheisgoingtokil
lme.
Me:Man!!
!it5pm andIhav
edozenmi
ssedcal
l
s
f
rom Li
l
ian,let
sgo.
Ty:
Iam notget
ti
ngi
nsi
det
hiscaraf
tert
his,
cal
l
acab.
Me:
Comeonman,
not
hingi
sgoi
ngt
ohappen.
Hewasr el
uctantsowasIactual
l
ybutIdoubt
anyt
hingwil
lhappennow,Ineedtogett
othe
house.

Me:Mancany oupresspl
ayformeont
hose
voi
cemessagesfrom Li
li
an.
.
Icontinueddri
vingasTyplayedt hemessages
andonecoughtmyat t
ent
ionwher eshesai
d"
Mi kepleasedon'tdoanyt
hingstupid,
Iknow
youdidn'tgotoanymeet i
ng,Iknowwhohas
beensendi ngmet hosegi
ftsjustcomehome
please."
Ty
:Whatgi
ft
s?
Me:Shehasbeenrecei
vi
ngsomegif
tswit
hlov
e
gest
uresandIknewshewasgoingt
oassumeI
wentinsear
chofwhoeveri
tis.
Ty:Youdon'
tseem wor
ri
edaboutwhopl
ant
ed
gasonyourcar?
Me: Iam butl
etmecheckonLil
ianfi
rstbut
tr
ustmewhoev erdi
dthi
sisgoi
ngtopay.Ikeep
beingpoked.
Ty
:Why
?
Me:Isworet
hatKagi
soandPr
omi
sewer
ethe
l
astone'
sbut.
..
..
Ty
:Manl
ook!
!!
!
Hesaidpointingdir
ecti
ontomyhouseaswe
wereapproachingit,
ther
ewast hr eepoli
cecar
s
outsi
debutnosi ghtofanyone, Ispedupt hecar
aswegoti nmyhear twasr acing. Wegotoutof
thecarandgoti nandmyey esfirstl
ylandedon
thesecur
itygatethathadnooneexceptt wo
cover
edbodi es.
Iraninthehouseandt hecopswereroami
ng
aroundandIhear dl
itesobsandIsawthekids
bythecouch, Thabi
sawasholdingMjwhil
e
huggingNeliandshewascr yi
ng.
Pol
i
ce:
Excusemesi
r,whoar
eyou?
Thekidsall
rai
sedthei
reyesandrantowards
meandIembr acedthem t
aki
ngMj fr
om
Thabisaandmyeyestart
edtolookforLil
i
an
butshewasnowher einsi
ght.
Me:
Cal
m down,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Mnqobi
:Wher
eismom?
Nel
i
:Iwantmymom(
cry
ing)
Me:
Thabi
sast
opcr
ying,
tel
lmewhathappened
.
Poli
ce:Si
rIam assumi
ngy
ouMr
sDi
mba'
s
husband?
Ty
:Hei
s,whati
sgoi
ngon?
Pol
i
ce:
Yourwi
fei
smi
ssi
ng.
Me:
Comeagai
n!!
!Whatdoy
oumeanmi
ssi
ng?
Poli
ce:
Yourdaughtercal
l
edustel
l
ingusthat
,doyouhaveanyideawhocoul
dhavetakenher
?
Me:
Thabi
saexpl
aint
omewhathappenedher
e.
Thabisa:Icamehereaft
erschool andwhenI
gotherethewasnosecur it
yatthegat eand
whenIwal kedinsi
demom waswi thanother
manandhehadagunpoi ntedatherback
becausehet houghIwasacopt hatmom cal l
ed
,t
hent heystart
edtal
ki
ngandhebecame
paranoidandtoldmom tobr i
ngal
l theki
ds
down.
Me:
Aman?whatdi
dhewant?
Thabisa:
Idon'
tknow,hekeptsayi
ngshe
shouldbewit
hhim andthaty
ounotgoodf or
herandshecanbehappywi t
hhim andthen
ther
ewasasi r
enofpoli
ceandhepoi nt
edthe
gunatmesay i
ngbothmom andIliedbutmom
gotinfrontofhimtryi
ngtodiverthisat
tenti
on
fr
om met oherbutheslappedherandt henhe
madeaphonecal l,
afewmenwi thcoverscame
i
nandIr ememberthem approachingusthen
aft
erthatIam blank.
Iwokeupandmom was
nothereandki dsweresl
eepingsoIcal l
edthe
cops,youwer enotansweri
ngy ourphone.
Me:
Cal
m down,
didy
ouhear
sthi
sman'
sname?
Thabi
sa:
No
Mnqobi
:Thamsanqa!
!
Pol
i
ce:
Whatwast
hat?
Mnqobi:
Whenhecamei
nmom cal
l
edhi
m
Thamsanqa.
Poli
ce:
Sirdoy
ouhav
ecamer
a'sar
oundt
he
house.
Me: Yes,
buti
tsusel
ess.
Ift
heygott
hroughthe
securi
tyt
heymusthavedel
etedt
hefootage.
Pol
i
ce:
Sirdoy
ouhav
eenemi
est
hatco.
..
..
Me:Justgetoutifmyhouseifyouar
egoingt
o
askmestupidquesti
onsinst
eadoffi
ndi
ngmy
wif
e,i
nfactdon'tIwi
llf
indhermysel
f.
Pol
i
ce:
SirIam j
ustdoi
ngmyj
ob.
Me:
I'
ll
doi
tfory
ou,
getal
lyourmanoutofher
e.
Ty:Mancal
m down,
don'
tgoof
font
hepoor
guy.
Me:
ThabisaIneedy
outogetsomest
ufff
or
t
hekids,
Iam t
aki
ngyout
oSizwe'
s.
Thabi
sa:
All
right
.
Shewal kedupstair
sandt heot
herssatdownon
thecouchandIcoul dfeelmyangerboil
ingup
butIam notloosingmyt amperinfr
ontofthe
kids,
theyseem shakenespecial
lyMnqobi I
guesstheslaptookhim backtotheKagiso
i
ncident.
Ty
:Shoul
dIgetsomeguy
soni
t?
Me:
YesbutIhav
enoi
deawhohei
sorhowhe
l
ooks.
Ty:Sur
elyThabi
sahasanimageofhim,sowe
cangetsomeonetoputt
hepict
uretoget
her.
Me:Thatwi
l
ldo,
Iam goi
ngt
oki
l
lthatsonofa
bi
tch.
Ty
:Whywoul
dhet
akeLi
l
ian?
Me: Idon'tknow,pr
obabl
ysomecrazy
psychopat hwit
hanobsessi
onbutheisgoi
ng
topayf orputti
nghi
shandsonmywi f
einfr
ont
ofherkids.
Ty:
Letsdr
opthekidsof
fandthengett
owor
k
bef
orehecanescapest
hecountr
y.
Me:
Hepr
obabl
yhas.
Ty
:Why
?
Me:Ireconheistheonebehindthegasi nthe
carandhedidthattomakesur eIwasoutof
thewayandt hef
actthathedruggedthekids
whenhel ef
thedidn'
twantthenotif
icat
ionof
hermi
ssi
ngt
ober
ightaway.
Ty
:youl
ookr
athercal
m.
Me:Ihavetoforthekids,
Ineedtocal
lmy
motherandJesst ocometakecareoft
heki
ds
unt
ilwefindLi
li
an.
Ty
:YeahIwi
l
lcal
lthem onourwayt
her
e.
ThabisacamebackandIgott hem inthecar
andwedr ovetoLil
ian'shomeIjusthopeSi zwe
i
sar oundbecauseIhav etotakecareoft hi
s
veryfast.Iparkedi
nt hedriv
ewayandt hekids
walkedbef oremeandaf t
eroneknockTumi
answer edthedoorandThabi saf el
li
ntoher
armscr yi
ngandImustsayherr eacti
ont othis
i
squi tesurpri
singbecauseshedi dn'
tlikeLili
an.
Tumi
:Hi
,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
IsSi
zwear
ound?
Si
zwe:
Whoneedsme?.
..
.what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Looky
oursi
steri
s..
..
.
Tumi
:comei
n,y
oucan'
tal
lst
andatt
hedoor
.
Si
zwe:
Whatdi
dLi
l
iando?
Me: Shei
smi ssi
ng,Ineedyoutol
ookaf
tert
he
kidsmymot herandsist
erwil
lbeher
e
tomorrowtotakecareofthem.
Si
zwe:
Whatdoy
oumeanshei
smi
ssi
ng?
Me:
Justt
hat,
nowcany
oul
ookaf
tert
heki
ds?
Tumi
:Sur
e,handmeMj
.
IgaveMj
toherandshewal
kedi
ntothel
ounge
wit
hther
estandIwasst
andi
ngwit
hSizwe.
Si
zwe:Iam r
eal
l
ystart
ingnottol
i
keyou,
my
si
steri
sal
wayscaughtupinsomemessever
si
nceshemetyou.
Me:Icouldn'
tcarel
esswhatyouthink,ri
ght
nowfindi
ngLili
anismypri
ori
ty.
I'l
ll
ety ouknow
i
fanythi
nghappensandpleaseinf
or m Cl
air
e.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT62
Mi
ke
Ithasbeenal ongweekofnotsl eepi
ng
searchingupanddownf orLi l
i
anbutj ustlike
thefirstday, wehav enocl ue,ideaordirect i
on
ofwher ethi smanhast akenher, i
tsl
ikeshej ust
vanished. IfeelsouselessandI mobileknowi ng
thatIhav ebeenabl et osav ethewor ldov erthe
yearsbutr ightnowIcannotsav emywi fe,the
mot herofmyki ds.Thet ensioni nthehousei s
maki ngthiswhol ethingwor se, every
onei son
theedge. Cl air
eflewbacki nt woday sagowi th
Thomasandshehasbeendi stantwithmet oo
butIunder standbecauseev eryonefeelsthe
needt oblamef orallt
his.
Theki
dsareconf
usedespeci
all
ythetwi
ns,
they
wantt
hei
rmotherever
yfi
veminutesandMjis
worse,hehasbeenonedgeandcr yi
ngthe
wholeweek.Iwalki
nsidethehouseandas
usualit
squietyett
here'
sabout10peopl
ehere
,Mnqobi comesinmydirecti
onandmyheart
breaksbecauseIalr
eadyknowwhatheisgoi
ng
toask.
Mnqobi
:Youf
oundmama?
Me:
Heybi
gboy,
noty
etbutIwi
l
l.
Mnqobi
:Imi
ssher.
Ipi
ckedhi
m upandhel
aidhi
sheadonmy
shoul
der.
Me:IknowandImi
sshert
oo,butwherev
ershe
i
ssheknowswelov
eherandshelovesyou
ver
ymuch.
Mnqobi
:Wi
l
lhehur
ther?
Me:
Ihopehedoesn'
t,
wher
ear
ethet
wins?
Mnqobi
:Sl
eepi
ng,
Iwasal
soaboutt
otakea
nap.
Me:
Alr
ightt
hen,
goahead.
Iwatchasher unsupt hestair
sandIwal ked
i
ntotheloungeandev er
yonewasj ustquiet
mindingtheirbusiness,Tumi hadMj onher
back.
Shehasbeenr eall
yhelpful
withthekids
toget
herwi t
hmom andMar tha.
Si
zwe:
Any
thi
ng?
Me:
Not
hingbutmyt
eam i
sst
il
loni
t.
Themba:Problem i
sy oulikeacti
ngli
key
ou
knoweveryt
hing,Idon'tunderst
andwhyyounot
i
nvol
vi
ngt hepoli
ceint hiswholethi
ng.
Me:
IfIcan'
tfi
ndhertr
ustmet hepol
i
cear
e
mor
euselessthanIam r
ightnow.
Jess:
Youl
ookhor
ri
ble,
hav
esomet
hingt
oeat
.
Me:Thankssis,butIdon'
tfeel
li
keeat
ingIjust
cametofreshenupandgoback. Wemightflyt
o
Li
mpompobecauset hat'
swhereheworked.
Si
zwe:
Justf
indmysi
ster,
that
'
sal
lwewant
.
Themba: Andmaybet
hist
imeshecanreal
i
se
thatbei
ngwithy
ouisnotsaf
eforher.
Mari
a:Don'
trespondt
othat
,l
et'
stal
kiny
our
of
fi
ce.
Claire:Actuall
yuncl
ei sri
ght,quit
efranklyI
hav ehadenoughoft hisdrama,it
sonet hing
aftertheot heri
tneverstops.Howdoy oubot h
exper tthekidstogr
owupwi thnor mali
tywith
allthis.Whenwi l
li
tstopandy ouactual
lyliv
ea
normal l
if
e?
Thabi
sa:
Nowy
oudi
srespect
ingmyf
ather!
!!
Cl
air
e:Wel
lthatf
atherofy
ourshadnoprobl
em
ki
l
li
ngmine,soexcusemeifIam notwi
l
li
ngto
l
osemotheronhimtoo.
TheshockIhadwhenshesai dt hat,
andIsaw
everyone'
seyesonmepr obabl
ywai t
ingformy
responseandhonest
lyifsheknowst hen
there'
sisnotwayofdenyingi
t,buthowdidshe
knowal lt
hat?
Thabi
sa:Dadt
hati
snott
ruei
sit?
Dadi
snota
cr
iminal
!
Clai
re:(
laughs)Youarereal
l
yaf ool
,whydon't
youaskhi m howmanypeopl ehehaskill
edin
hisli
fet
imeandt hedr
ugbusinessthathehad
...
..
Mari
a:Clai
rethat'
senough,
stopi
t!!
!!Igett
hat
youupsetaboutyourdadandmom butnow
youbei
ngdisrespect
ful.
Thabi
sa:
Yousel
ldr
ugs?
Tumi
:Thabi
sanotnow,
thi
sisnott
het
ime.
Cl
air
e:Ipr
ayyouf i
ndmom al
i
vebecausei
fshe
i
snot..
..
.(
cri
es)Idon'
tknow.
Il
ookdownassher
unsout
sidecr
yingThomas
st
andsuptof
oll
owher.
Mar
tha:
Letmet
alkt
oher(
toThomas)
Mar
thal
eftandnei
therofthem coul
dl ookat
meandhonest
lyIhadnothingt
osay, Ihave
enoughtoworryaboutot
hert
hanthem
knowingIam acri
minal.
Mom andIwalki
nto
myof f
ice.
Mar
ia:
Shedi
dn'
tmeanwhatshesai
d.
Me:Mothernowyoubei
ngobl
i
vious,
shemeant
ever
ywordandthehat
eIsawonherfacet
ell
s
i
tall
.
Mari
a:Youl
ookhor
ri
ble,
youhav
en'
tsl
eptt
he
whol
eweek.
Me:Ican'tbri
ngmyselftoclosemyey es,,
Ifeel
souseless.notknowi
ngifsheisokayorifshe
i
ssti
llali
veandwhatkill
smei sthatIsti
l
ldon't
knowwhatt hatmanwant sorwhohei s.
Maria:Cl
earl
yheisnotdoi
ngthi
stogettoyou
becausehewouldhavemadecontact,
buty
ou
needtorestyouarenouseli
ket
his.
Me:
May
bet
heyar
eri
ght.
Mar
ia:
About?
Me:Mealway
sputti
ngLi
l
ian'
sli
fei
ndanger
,sher
eal
l
yisnotsaf
ewit
hme.
Mar i
a:That '
sadecisi
onbet weenyouand
her,
Lil
ianknewt hejoby oudidandeverythi
ng
thatcamewi thi
tandshel ovedyouregardl
ess
sopleasedomeaf avourdonotdoubty our
l
ov eforherorherlovefory ounow.Shemi ght
notbeneary oubutshecansenset hestrengt
h
ofyourl oveandthatwil
l hel
pherpullt
hroughin
whatev ersit
uati
onsheisi n.
Me:Whathappensi
fIdon'
tfi
ndher,whatwi
l
lI
t
ell
theki
ds,howwil
lIbeabletocont
inuewi
th
myli
fewit
houther?
Maria:
Don'
teventhi
nkaboutt
hat,
youwi
l
lfi
nd
herandbr
ingherhometoyourki
ds.
Me:
Anywayl
etmef
ixmy
sel
fandI
'
llcheckon
t
hetwi
ns.
Mari
a:Soni
tsokaytocr
y,Iknowtheysayman
don'
tcr
ybutyoudon'
tal
way shav
et obest
rong
Icanseet
hisi
seat
ingy
ou,
youl
ostwei
ghti
n
l
essthanaweek.
Me:Mymai nworryi
sthatt
heki
dssai
dhehi
t
her,
soifhetookherwhatmor
eishedoi
ngt
o
her,
that
'swhatki
ll
smemost.
.
.
TBC
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT63
Mi
ke
Wewentt oLimpopoaspl annedbuti
twasalso
pointlessbecausepeopl
et her
eweregiv
ing
praisestothisThamsanqaguyandnoone
knewwher ehecouldbe,wewer eabl
etofi
nda
carthatisr egi
ster
edinhi snamebutitwasl ef
t
atamot elinLimpoposoi twasalsouseless.I
haventbeent othehousesincethatdayandI
havebeengi vi
ngupdat estomom totellt
he
others.TyandIwer ei
nt heoff
iceandhehas
beenv erysuppor t
ive,
ifitwasnotforhimI
wouldal readybedeadbecauseIcan' teveneat.
Ty
:Mansomet
hingdoesn'
tmakesenset
ome.
Me:
What
?
Ty
:Yousai
dCl
air
eknowst
haty
ouki
l
ledKagi
so
?
Me:
Yes,
sowhat
'suncl
earaboutt
hat?
Ty:Howdi
dsheknow,yourj
obsar
eal
way
s
cl
eanandhav
enotraces.
Me:Idon'
tknowandhonest
lyt
hati
sthel
ast
t
hingonmymi nd.
Ty
:Manst
aywoke,
bri
ngy
ourbr
ainback.
Me:
Justsayy
ourt
heor
y.
Ty :
Okaymay beIam wrongbutt
hinkaboutt
his
,Lil
iandisappearsshecomesbackknowingall
oft hiswhichisnowcausingsomesortof
disrupti
onwithinthef
amily.
Me:Manyoul
osingy
ourmindifyouthi
nkClai
re
i
sinv
olv
edinhermother
sdi
sappearance.
Ty:That
'
snotwhatIam say i
ng,weneedto
knowhowshef oundoutaboutkagiso,
look
manIam tr
yingtofi
ndallanglesi
nwhichcan
hel
pus.
Me:WhatIfi
ndwei
rdisthatr
ightbef
oreLi
l
ian
di
sappear
edIhadspokentoClair
eandshe
wasokaywit
hme.
Ty :
See, exact
lywhatImean. Shedef i
nit
ely
foundoutaboutt hiseit
heronthatdayLi l
ian
disappearedorlaterandwhoev ertol
dherknew
theintenti
onsofrev eal
i
ngthatinformati
on.
Me:Soy
ousay
ingthatwhoev
ert
oldhercoul
d
l
eadust
oThamsanqa?
Ty:
Possibl
e,hei
stheonl
yonewithan
advant
ageofusi
ngthati
nfor
mat
ionri
ghtnow.
Me:Butl
etssayit
shi
m,howdi
dheknowabout
Kagi
soand..
..
.nonono
Ty:Youfinal
l
yusingyourmind,l
etsgotoClai
re
whil
eMaxget severyguardthatwasonthe
warehousethedayyoukill
edKagisobecause
oneofthem knowstalked.
Me:
Whydi
dn'
tIt
hinkofal
lthi
s?
Ty:
Yourmindfreezeswheni
tssomeonecl
ose
toyou,
henceIam here.
nowlet
sgo.
Icall
edMaxandt ol
dhimtogetal l
theguardsin
oneplacebecauseTy'
stheorymakessense, f
or
someonet oknowwhathappenedt oKagiso
theyhadtobeheretoseeitsooneoft hose
guardsmightbethemolewel ooki
ngfor.
Wedrovet
othehouseandbyl
uckwef ound
Cl
air
eandThomasonlyi
nthehouse,
theother
s
wer
eoutsi
de.
Cl
air
e:Hav
eyouf
oundmom?
Thomas:
Babypl
easecal
m down?
Me:Howdi
dyouknowaboutwhatIdi
dto
Kagi
so?
Cl
air
e:I
sthatal
lyoucar
eabout?
Ty
:Cl
air
eweneedt
hisi
nfor
mat
ion.
Me: Lookifyouwai ti
ngformet oapol ogi
sef or
ki
ll
ingy ourdadandPr omi set hent hi
nkagain
becauseIwi ll
neverdot hatandi fgiventhe
chanceIwoul ddoi tagain,nowIknowhewas
yourfatherandyoul ovedhim butIam no
monst erthatj
ustkill
speopl ef ornor eason.I
am notaboutt ofosteryourf eeli
ngwhatIneed
fr
om y ouisforyout otel
lmehowdi dy oufi
nd
out?
Iprobablysoundevi
landshewasj ustcr
yingas
Ital
kedbutIknowCl ai
reify
ouplaytohert une
youwi l
lnevergetwhatyouwant,sheisexactl
y
l
ikeLil
ianyouhav et
oscareherjustali
tt
leto
getheri
ncheck.
Shescreamed"Ihat
eyou"and
ranupst
air
sbutThomasr emai
nedseat
ed
str
oll
i
ngdownClair
e't
ablet.
Thomas:
Here(
handi
ngmet
het
abl
et)t
hat
'
s
howsheknew.
Igrabbedthet abletandTycamenextt ome
anditwasav ideot hatshowedev erythi
ngt hat
tookplaceatt hewar ehouset hatdayIkill
ed
them butithadnoaudi owhichexplainswhy
sheisfumi ngbecausei fsheheardt hereason
behinditshewoul dn'
tbel i
kethisandhonest lyI
am gladther e'snoaudi obecausethenshe
wouldhav ehear dwhathappenedt ome. Ty
l
ookedatmewi tht hesamel ookIgav ehim
becauseIj ustr eali
sedt hatwemi ghthav ea
l
eadi fwef ollowhi st heory
.
Me:
Thomas,
whendi
dshegett
hisv
ideo?
Thomas:Adayaft
erhermot
herdisappear
ed
,butsher
ecei
vedi
tfr
om anunknownemai l
whi
chwasnolongeri
nusewhenshewant
edt
o
r
espondt
oit
.
Ty
:Fr
om t
hisTabl
et?
Thomas:
Yes.
Ty
: Okay,
wearegoi
ngt
oleav
ewi
tht
hist
abl
et,
i
t
mightbeofhel
p.
Cl
air
e:I
tmi
ghthel
pinwhat
?
Il
ookupandshewasst
andi
ngbyt
hecouch.
Me:
Wit
hfi
ndi
ngy
ourmot
her.
Cl
air
e:Whatdoy
oumean?
Ty
: Wehaveast
rongf
eel
ingthatThamsanqa
mightbet
heonewhosentyouthi
s.
Me: Henceweneedtotr
acethatemailandi
fhe
sentitadayl
aterhemusthavesenti
twherehe
i
sr i
ghtnow.
Cl
air
e:Whydi
dyouki
l
lhi
mli
ket
hat
?
Me:
LookIwi
l
lexpl
ainev
ery
thi
ngonceIf
ound
y
ourmot
herf
ornowIhav
etogo.
Shej ustsatnexttoThomasandl ai
dinhi s
chestandIchuckl edal it
tl
e,i
tsst i
llweirdto
knowt hatshei smar ri
ed.Ididn'twantt oget
caughtupwi ththekidssowel eftwithout
seeingt hem anddrov ebackstr ai
ghtt othe
off
icef i
ndingMaxal readywai ti
ngf oruswi th
theguar ds,Iswearifoneoft hem i sthemol eI
am kill
inghim.
Max:
Bosst
heyar
eal
lher
e.
Me:Good,Ineedy
out
odosomet
hingf
orme
,comewit
hme.
Iwalkedtothetechguyswit
hMaxandthey
wereallbusyonthecomputerst
ryi
ngt
ofind
anycluesofwhereLil
ianwas.
Me:List
enupguy s,
Ineedyouguystotr
acea
unkownemail
thatsentthi
svideot
othistablet
.Fi
ndwhoitbelongsto,wher
ewasitsentfrom .
Max:
Getoni
tguy
s.
Me:Howl
ongwi
l
litt
aket
ogetal
lthatIj
ust
sai
d?
Zyne:I
fit
swi t
hint
hecountrybossthenanhour
wil
lbeenoughbutifit
soutsidethecount
ryit
mightbetri
ckytogetthel
ocationespeci
all
yif
i
tsnolongerinusebut2hour smax.
Me:Okaythatwi
ll
work,Thaboatthecor
nerI
needyoutogothr
oughtheguardsphoneand
youwi
lltel
lmeanythi
ngthati
sstr
ange.
Max:Okaytherestofy
oufindt
heemai
l
account,
I
'l
lbr
ingthephones.
Wewal
kedoutandMaxst
oppedme.
Max:
Bosst
hei
rphones?
Me:Yes,
Iwil
lexpl
ainev
ery
thi
ngl
aternowl
ets
gett
hosephones.
Wewal kedbacki nt
omyof fi
ceandMax
coll
ectedal
ltheirphonesandtheyall
wentto
thei
rroom l
eavingmeandTyal onebuthewas
onhisphone, Idon'
tknowwhybutIhav
eagut
feel
ingthatthi
smi ghtgi
veusacl
ueofwher
eto
star
tlooking.
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Ty
:Checki
nguponmywoman.
Me:Shemusthat
eme,
forkeepi
ngy
ouaway
f
rom her.
Ty:Don'tworr
yabouti
t,oncewef
indLi
l
ianwe
canallgetbackt
oourli
v es.
Me:
Thanksman.
Aft
erabout30mi
nut
esMaxcameinwi
th
Thaboandhehadhi
slapt
opwi
thhi
m.
Max:
Bosshef
oundsomet
hing.
Me:
What
?
Thabo:
I'
m notsurewhati tisbuti
nPatr
ick's
phonethere'
ssomet hi
nglikeanappthatcheck
onhim everyhourandithasapasswordt hathe
mustputon.
Me:
Thati
snot
hingconcr
ete.
Thabo:
Thatmaybebebuthestar
tedusi
ngt
his
appsamedaythatbossl
adywentmissi
ng.
Ty:Ar
ether
eanyphonecal
l
sorsmst
hatr
aise
suspi
ci
on?
Thabo:
No
Me:
Thaboy
oucango,
Maxbr
ingPat
ri
ckher
e.
Theybot
hlef
t.
Ty:
Don'tquest
iont
heman'
sloy
alt
yov
er
not
hing.
Me:
Someoneischecki
nguponhi
m,andIwant
t
oknowwhoiti
s.
Ty:I
tmi
ghtbehi
swif
eman,
youknowhow
cr
azywomanare.
Me:Noifwomanspyonyou,youwoul
dn'
tknow
.Heknowshei
sbeingcheckedoni
fheputsa
pi
n.
Ty
:Okay
MaxcamebackwithPatr
ickandbythelooki
n
hi
sfaceIcoul
dtel
lhei
shidingsomethi
ng.
Me:
Whyar
eyoushaken?
Pat
ri
ck:
Iam notsi
r.
Me:
Youl
ovey
ourki
dsandwi
fer
ight
?
Pat
ri
ck:
Wit
hMyl
i
fesi
r.
Me: Good,t
heny ouandIareonthesamepage
becauseIlovemywi f
eandkidssomuchthatI
wouldkill
justaboutanyonetomakesuret
hey
aresafeandpr otect
ed.Tycanyouopenhi
s
familyt
rackerforme?
Ty
:Sur
e
Me:
Nowwher
eismywi
fe?
Pat
ri
ck:
Sir
???
Me:
Doy
ouwantmet
orepeatt
hequest
ion?
Pat
ri
ck:
SirIdon'
tknow,
wear
est
il
ll
ooki
ngf
or
her
.
Me:Letmer
ephr
aset
hen,
Pat
ri
ckwher
eismy
wi
fe?
Pat
ri
ck:
Idon'
tknowsi
r.
Me:Whoi schecki
ngupony ouev
eryhourand
whydidtheystar
tonthedaymywi f
e
di
sappeared?
Patr
ick:Mywifesir,
aft
erbossl
ady
di
sappearedIj
ustwantedtoknowwheresheis
atal
l t
imesandifsheisfi
nesowehavethat
app.
Me:Mhhy ousay
,seeIfi
ndthatfunnybecauseI
onl
yinfor
medMaxofLi l
ian'
sdisappearanceat
7pm andthi
sappstar
tedrunni
ngat2: 12pm .
Pat
ri
ck:
Thati
snotpossi
blesi
r.
Me:Maxt
aket
heother
sandIwanty
out
obr
ing
hi
swif
eandki
dshere.
Pat
ri
ck:
Myf
ami
l
y..
.f
orwhatboss?
Me: Thisi
sat hing,
Iknowy ouknowwhot ook
mywi feandhei stheonewhoi schecki
ngup
onyouIdon' tknowwhatf orbutmytheorysay
s
i
fyouar eabletoinputthepinthenhecan
rel
ax, am Iwrong?
Patr
ick:BossIdon'
tknowwhaty
outal
ki
ng
about,Idon'
tknowwherey
ourwif
eis.
Me:Ifitmeanskil
li
ngy ourwhol
efamil
ytoget
thetr
uthout,youknowv erywel
lwhatIam
capableof,
Maxgor i
ghtaheadandti
ethem I
'
ll
handlethem myself.
Wheeht hismani snottaki
ngt hebait,
i
nal
l
honestyIam notsurehei stheonewhodidit
butthi
st acti
chasalwayswor kedandifhi
s
famil
ybei ngindangerdoesn'tcrackhi
mthen
i
tsnothim.
Pat
ri
ck:
Sirpl
ease,
don'
thur
tmyf
ami
l
yI'
l
ltal
k!!
!
Hesay
stal
kingfastandTyandIl
ookateach
ot
heri
nshockandMaxst opsatt
hedoor.
Me:
Whatdi
dyousay?
Patr
ick:
Justl
eav
emyf
ami
l
youtoft
his,
Iwi
l
l
tal
k.
Ty:St
artandj
ustsoy
ouknowy
oudeadaf
ter
thi
s.
Pat
ri
ck:youcanki
l
lmebutnotmyf
ami
l
y
pl
ease.
Me:
Justt
ell
mewher
emywi
fei
s?
Patr
ick:
thePinis8082ontheapp,
l
ogi
n
becauseifIdon'
themoves.
Me:
Maxgetoni
t,y
oucont
inue.
Pat
ri
ck:
Sirhei
sinRome.
Me:
Wit
hLi
l
ian?
Patr
ick:
Yes,si
rIdi
dn'
tmeant
obet
rayy
oubutI
hadnochoice!
!!
Me:
Ell
abor
ate.
Pat
ri
ck:
Itwasachoi
ceofsav
ingmywi
feorI
hel
pedhim.Mywifeneededaknewhear tandI
couldnotaf
fordi
tandsaidhewoul dhel
pifI
becamehisspybutsirIdi
dn'tknowhewould
getsoobsessedwit
hBossl ady.
Me:Iwilldef
ini
tel
ydealwithyou,butfornow
youaregoingtoleadstr
aightwherehei sand
bett
erpraythathedidn'
tdoanythingtomywi fe
orelseIdon'
tknowwhatImi ghtber esponsi
ble
for.
Zy
ne:
Bosswet
racedi
tandi
tsLocat
ion.
Me:Good,
Maxgetthej
etreadyandbr
inghi
s
phoneher
eandyoucomingwithus.
Max:
Alr
ightboss.
Ty
:Rel
axman,
wewi
l
lfi
ndhernow.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT64
Mi
ke
Wehav ebeent oRomef ort
woday snowand
wehav elocatedt hehousei nwhichhei s
holdi
ngLili
ani nandwehav ewor kedonapl an
becausethehousehassecur i
tyguards
everywhere.Weabduct edoneoft heguards
andTyi sgoingt ogounder coverastheguard
andputallother stosleephopefullywit
hout
beingnoti
cedt heni ft
hisbastardisaloneIcan
handlehim.
Ty
:ManI
fIdi
ether
e!!
!
Me:Youwon't,
thi
sguyshoul
dhav
ebeeny
our
t
winbecauseyoulookal
i
ke.
Ty:Iseeyoursenseofhumori
sback,
wit
hmy
l
if
eont heli
ne.
Me:Youjustneed5minut
es,al
ltheseguar
ds
areout
sidesoaslongasyousprankl
ethefume
onthefl
oortheywil
lbesl
eepi
ngforthenext
twodays.
Ty:
Dudeareyousur
ether
ear
enocamer
as
i
nsi
dether
e?
Hesaidaski
ngtheguar
d,al
thoughwesortof
ki
dnappedhi
m hewasactuall
ycooper
ati
ve.
Guard:Idon'tunderst
andwhyy ouallst
il
l
holdi
ngmel ikethisbecauseIhaveactual
ly
beenhelpingy ouandnot her
earenocamer as
i
nt hehouset hatIknowof f,
hedidn'
twantus
watching"hi
s"womanashesay s.
Whenhesaid" hi
s"Ifeltmybloodboili
ng,
Idon'
t
knowwhatty peoflunati
cthisi
s,Imeany ou
abductapersonthensayt heyar
ey ourwoman
,l
ikehel
lsheis.
Ty
: Okay,mysupposed"
shi
ft
"isst
art
ingi
n10
minutessol
etmego.
Me:Themi
nutet
heyal
lknockedouti
nfor
m me
sot
hatwecancomein.
Ty:Manyousai
dthi
sathousandt
imes,
Iknow
andifIdi
emakesur
etoinf
orm mygi
rl
.
Il
aughedashewal kedoutwal
kingt
owardsthe
house.Ihav
eallthefai
tht
hatt
hiswil
lwork,
I
cannotbedefeat
edwhenIam soclosetoLi
l
ian
.
Me:YouPatri
ckbet
terhopet
hatnot
hing
happenedt
omywi f
ebecauseIwil
lpushasi
de
Ty'
spleadf
oryourl
if
e.
Pat
ri
ck:
Agai
nsi
rIam sor
ry.
Me:
Maxpr
epar
e,y
oucomi
ngwi
thme.
Accordi
ngtotheti
menow, Tyshoul
dalreadybe
i
nt heyar
danditsbeen10minutesandhe
shouldbedonebutheiscont
acti
ngmeandi f
hegetscaughtIdonotevenwanttoimagine
theendresul
ts.
Max:
May
beweshoul
dgeti
n.
Me:No,l
etswai
tforhi
m.Thatoneissmar
t
t
rustmeheknowswhatheisdoing.
Iwasser
iousbecomi
ngwor
ri
edi
tsnow20
minutesandst
il
lnot
hing,
j
ustasIwal
kedoutof
ourrent
edhousemyphoneri
ngedanditwas
hi
m.
Me:
ManIwaswor
ri
ed.
Ty:Rel
ax,heisal
onebutri
ghtnowheisi
nthe
ki
tchenIam notsur
ewhichroom Li
l
iani
sin.
Me:
Wecomi
ng,
youopenedt
hegat
eri
ght
?
Ty
:Iam notst
upi
d.
Me:
Maxl
etsgo
Isai
dasIdr oppedthecallandMaxandIt ook
ourgunsandappr oachedthehouse,itwasa
damngoodhousef oralunati
cthough.Wegot
i
nandmetTyr ightoutsi
dethedoorandwehad
towhispersoasnott obeloud.
Ty:Iam notsur
ewhi
chbedr
oom hei
sin,
l
ets
al
lspread.
Wegoti
nsi
dethehouseandheadedupst
air
s
andweal
lwentt
hroughdi
ff
erentr
ooms,hel
l
therearet
ooamnyr oomsinher e.Iburstt
he
dooropenontheonet hatwascl osedandthe
sightIsawinf
rontofmef r
ightenedme, Li
li
an
screamedashegr abbedherroughlyand
pointedagunatherheadandIsawt ears
trai
li
ngdownherface.
Thami:Youandy
ourf
ri
endst
hinkIam st
upi
d
(l
aughs)!
!!
Justasheislaughingmyey esfal
ltoLil
ian,any
wrongmov eImakenowcancosther, herlif
e.I
zoom inherfeat
ures,shehasaankl ebr acel
et
whichprobablyt
rackedhermov ementsandher
neckhadsomemar ksoni tandshel ooksso
paleandlostsomuchwei ght.TyandMax
camer unni
nginwiththeirgunsandt heireyes
ranbetweenmeandLi l
ian.
Thami:
Tell
yourf
ri
endstoputthegunsdown
andIwil
lbl
owherbrai
nsoutr
ightnow.!
!!
Theyal
ldr
oppedt
hem buthedemandedweput
t
hem i
nfr
ontofusandwedi
d.
Me:
Manwhatdoy
ouwant?
Thami:Wanty
out
oleav
ethesamewaycame
i
n,that
'
swhat.
Me:
Iam notl
eav
ingwi
thoutmywi
fe.
Thami
:Shei
smi
nenowandIl
oveher!
!
Hesaidgett
ingangry,andIwasjoki
ngwhenI
sai
dhewasal unaticbutheissureact
ingl
ike
oneri
ghtnowbutt here'
snowayIam leavi
ng
Li
li
anhereevenifIdie.
Me:Andthati
showy
out
reataper
sony
oul
ove
,y
ousick!!
!
Heshotattheceil
i
ngandforami
nutether
eI
thoughtheshotLi
l
ian.
Lil
i
anwascr
yingnowbut
nov oi
cewasheard.
Thami
:Ify
oudon'
tl
eav
eshewi
l
lpayf
ori
t.
Li
l
ian:
M..
(st
utt
eri
ng)
Mi.
.kepl
ease
Thewayhervoicekeptbr
eaki
ngbrokemyheart
i
ntopi
eces.Shecaughedtryi
ngt
or egai
nher
voi
ce.
Lil
ian:Mi
ke..
.pl
easeleav
e,doitf
orthekids
theyneedyou,i
fthi
sismyf at
eIhaveaccepted
i
tbutIcannothavebothofusdyingonthekids
(cryi
ng)
Thami
:Youshoul
dli
stent
oher!
!
Shewastrembli
ngsohar
d,hewaspr
obabl
y
druggi
ngher.
Me:Younevert
oldmet odoany
thi
ngandy
ou
wontst
artnowLil
ian.
Li
li
an:
Pleaasey oumoresanefort
hem thanI
am ,
pleaseleav
eandtell
mykidsI(shestops
andbreatheshard)
lov
ethem andIlov
ey o.
..
Hecutheroffbygrabbi
ngherarmroughlyandI
usedthatmomentofhiml oosi
nghi
s
concetr
ati
on,It
ookmyot hergunf
rom t
heback
andIshothimrightatt
heneckmakinghisgun
fal
lwhil
ehegr abbedt hespotwher eIshothi
m
andLili
anjustfr
ozest andingt her
eandI
grabbedherpull
ingheri ntomeandshest art
ed
cryi
ngoutloudandMaxwal kedtowardsThami
andheshookhi sheadsi gnall
ingthathewas
dead,well
goodr iddanceonceagai n.
Me:Iam goi
ngtotakeherbacktothehouse
,y
ouguy scandealwit
hthisri
ght?
Ty
:Yes,
gomansheneedsy
ou.
.
.
(
fol
l
owi
ngday)
Yesterdaywasv eryhardandtraumat
ictoLi
li
an
.AfterItookhertoourrental
houseshewas
sti
ll
inadazeandIbat hedherandwhenIdidI
sawal otofbruisesonherbodybutIdidn'
task
becauseshewasnotgoi ngtoansweranyway
,shehasn'tsai
dany thi
ngatall
.
Wear enowont heplanebackhomeandt hank
godthisisaprivat
ejetsoshei slayi
ngont he
smallbedthatisherebutIdi dnot i
cethatt he
shi
versandt r
emblinghav en'
tstopped, Iam
rel
uctantabouthergoingst r
aighttotheki ds
becausetheywillwanttheirmot herthatthey
knowandt heLili
aninfrontofmei snothery et.
Ty
:Howi
sshehol
dingup?
Me:Idon'
tknow,
sheisnott
alki
ngbutIwant
hert
oseeadoctorwhenwegethome.
Ty
:Why
?
Me:Bytheshiver
sIcantell
hewasdr uggi
ngher
andIneedthatfl
ushedoutofhersy
stem.
Ty
:Ihav
enev
erseenhersodi
str
aught.
Me: Metoo,
usual
lyshesoptimi
sti
cabout
si
tuati
onsori
fnotthatsheexpr
essesheranger
.Letmecheckuponher.
Iwal
kedupt
owher
eshewasl
ayi
ngandIcoul
d
hearli
tt
lesni
ff
lebutshewasfaci
ngtheother
dir
ecti
onandIsatdownnexttohernot
touchi
ngherbecauseshefr
eakedoutl
astnight
whenIdid.
Me:
Lynnpl
easet
alkt
ome?
?
Shedi
dn'
tmov
eorsayany
thi
ng.
Me:
Ijustneedt
oknowi
fyouokay
?
Li
l
ian:
Iam f
ine
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT65
Mi
ke
Welandedandri
ghtnowIam dr
ivi
nghertot
he
hospi
tal
butIhav
enottol
dherthatyet.
ItoldMaxandTytofeelf
reetogo,
theyreal
helpedmeoutwit
hthisordeal
andTyf ora"non
-commi t
ment"guyhesurewasexci
tedt
osee
hisgir
l.
Lil
ianhasbeenl
ooki
ngoutsi
deev
er
sincenotevenlooki
ngatme.
Me:
Lynn?
Shesaidnot
hingandjustlookedatme,Iguess
Iam goi
ngtodothiswithoutherpar
ti
cipat
ion.
Me:
Iwantt
hedoct
ort
ochecky
ou.
Li
l
y:f
orwhat
?
Me:
Babyy
ounotokay
.
Li
l
y:wel
liam notseei
ngadoct
or,
iam f
ine.
Me:Li
l
ian,youshi
ver
ingf
rom t
imet
oti
met
he
dr
ugshe..
..
Lil
y:Iwasnotdr
ugged,
haveyouconsi
der
edt
hat
all
theshiver
sar
efrom t
hetr
aumaI
experi
enced?
Ijustl
ookedatherandsmil
edandIcoul
dsee
thatshewasirr
it
atedbyt
hatbutIwashappyt
o
seeherevental
king.
Li
l
y:Whyar
eyousmi
l
ing?
Me:
Yout
alki
ng.
Lil
y:CanIj
ustgoseemyki
dspl
easewi
thout
yourdramat
ictact
ics.
Me:Didhehur
tyou,
exceptt
heev
identphy
sical
abuse.
Li
l
y:Howwer
etheki
dst
hrought
hiswhol
ethi
ng?
Me:
Youav
oidi
ngmyquest
ion.
Li
l
y:Whatdoy
ouwantt
ohear?
Idr
ovet
hecaront
hesi
demaki
ngi
tst
op.
Me:
Iwantt
oknowev
ery
thi
ng.
Li
l
y:Ev
ery
thi
ngohhokay
.
Isawhereyesgett
ingtearyandshest
art
ed
rubbi
ngherhandstogether.
Lil
y:Idon'tknowwhatIdidtohi
m,Ionl
ymet
him onetimewhenIhurtmyankleinJamaica
(cr
ies)butIguessheal
readyknewever
ythi
ng
aboutmebecausehewasf ol
l
owingmear ound
,whenhecamet ot hehouset
hatdayIknewhe
wast heref
orar easonandhedidtakeme. I
don'tknowwhet herhewassickorwhatbutin
hismi ndhewast reat
ingmeli
keaqueen, well
thatwasbef or
eIst ar
tedmenti
oni
ngy ouorthe
kids(cri
eslouder)
Me:
Lynnwhatdi
dhedo?
Iaskedscoot
ingov
erher,
hol
dingherhands.
Lil
y :Hestar t
edbeat i
ngbecauseIwassuppose
tolov eonlyhim andaf t
erthatitonl
ygotwor se
,whenev erhef elttheurgehewoul dcome
pleasehi mselfwi t
hmesor oughlyandi(cri
ed
mor e)hadt olayt her
eMi keandmoanl ikeIwas
enjoy i
ngitwhenIf el
tli
kedy i
ng.Herapedme
,thephy sicalabuseIgotf r
om Kev i
nandKagi so
wasmuchbet terthatfi
lthIfeelf
ormysel fri
ght
now, Ifeel di
rtyanddi sgustedwhatifhe
i
nf ectedme?Howwi l
lIcontinuewit
hmyl i
fe
withadeadl ydi sease?
MikeIam tired,Iam t
ir
edofcryi
ng,ofbeing
hurtandalway sbei
ngcaughtinsomest uff
.Therearepeopl ewhoarehappyandnev er
havethemi sfort
uneIhave,whycan'
tIbeoneof
them andhav eahappylif
ewithmykidsand
you?
Shesaidwhilesti
ll
cry i
ngherey esoutandi j
ust
pull
edhertomychestembr aci
ngher, she
becameast rongpersonf ormewheni came
backfrom SouthArabiasonowi t'smyt urnt
o
bestrongforherandal t
houghi feelsoangryat
thatbast
ardbuthei sdeadsot here'snopoint
i
nt hat,
ri
ghtnowIneedt obeher ef ormywi fe
andmakesur eshei sokayandt hatshe
changestheperceptionshei sseei nghersel
f
withri
ghtnow.
Ipull
edoutoft
hehuggr
abbi
ngherf
acewi
th
bothmyhands.
Me:Il
oveyou,
andyouarenotdi
rt
ystopfeeli
ng
l
iket
hatandwhatev
erhappensI
'l
lbeher
ef or
youbecausey
ouar
emywi
feandt
hemot
herof
mykids.
Li
l
y:Ev
eni
fIhav
eHI
VoranSTD?
Me:
Wewi
l
lhav
eitt
oget
hert
hen.
Li
l
y:(
smi
l
es)y
ounotbei
ngf
unnyr
ightnow.
Me:OkayfinebutbabyIam ser
iouswhat
ever
happensI'
llbeher
etoholdyourhand,
wesaid
for
everri
ght?
Li
ly
:Youpr
omise?Youwil
lnotl
eav
eift
he
out
comesarenotgr
eat
?
Me:NoIwont,
butweneedt
ogetgoi
ngwear
e
i
nthemiddl
eofnowher
e.
Li
l
y:Yout
her
eonewhowant
edt
otal
k.
Me:andyoual
readybet
terf
rom whaty
ouwer
e
ear
li
eron.
Lil
y:knowingt
hatIhav
eyoursuppor
tandt hat
youwi l
lbeher
ewithmemakesitbearabl
e
alt
houghI'l
lpr
obabl
yneedsometherapy.
Me:
Yes,
youneedi
t.
Li
l
y:Andy
oucomi
ngwi
thme.
Me:I'
l
ldoanyt
hingf
ory
ouexceptt
hat,
Iam not
t
alki
ngtonoshri
nk.
Li
l
y:y
ouwi
l
l,y
ouj
ustdon'
tknowi
tyet.
Me:
your
eadyt
oseet
heki
ds?
Lil
y:I
'
m ner
voust
hough,
theyhav
en'
tseenmei
n
thr
eeweeks.
Me:Don'
tbe,whatIknowi
st heminut
eyou
wal
kintheywil
lal
lcomescreamingatyou.
Li
l
y:(
laughs)Imi
ssedt
hem .
Me:
youj
ustl
aughed!
!
Li
l
y:Ididn'
tknowt
her
e'swasapr
obl
em wi
th
melaughing.
Me:Iwaswai
ti
ngt
oseey
oul
augh.
Li
l
y:Let
'sgopl
ease.
Ismi
l
edatherandshehel
dmyot
herhandasI
drovethecartothehouse.Iparkedoutsi
dethe
yardandwewal kedtowardsthedoor,the
excit
ementthatI'
m abouttoseeisexplosi
ve
becauseIdidnottel
lanyonethatIfoundher.
Li
l
y:ki
ssmepl
ease!
!
Me:
What
???
Li
l
y:j
ustdoi
t!!
Me:
Likeababyki
ssorwhat
..
.
Bef
oreIcoul
dfini
shmysent
enceshekissed
meandmi ndyouwest
il
lout
sidet
hedoor.
Li
l
y:Okaymyner
vesar
ebet
ternow.
Me:If
orgethowcr
azyy
ouar
esomet
imes,
let
's
goi
n.
Ihel
dherhandandwal kedi
nwithherbehi
nd
me. Asi
ftheyknewwewer ecomingevery
one
wasi nt
heloungeandnoonesawus, well
that
wasuntilSi
yacall
edout"mama"andeveryone
tur
nedandi nlessthanaminut
eallt
hekids
r
antoLil
ianandshekneeleddownhugging
t
hem andisawtear
sfall
ingfrom herey
es.
Mnqobi
:MamaImissedyou,Iwontaskf
or
moneyany
morepl
easedon'tleav
e.
Li
l
y:Il
ovey
out
oof
ana'
sandIwontl
eav
eagai
n.
Shehuggedt het hr
eeforagood5mi nut
esthen
wel lt
hesearemyki dssoofcausetheyshi
fted
theiratt
enti
ont omegi v
ingLi
li
anachanceto
attendtotheolderkids.
shehuggedbothCl
aire
andThabi sa.
Cl
air
e:Mom y
ouscar
edme!
Li
l
y:Dontwor
ryabouti
t(
looki
ngatThabi
sa)
Youokaybaby
gir
l?
Thabi
sa:
Yes,Iwasworriedabouty
ou,
Idon'
t
knowwhathappened.
..
..
Li
l
y :
Heyallt
hatmatter
sisthaty
oubecame
st
rongerf
oryoursi
bli
ngsokay.
Thabi
sa:
I'
m gl
ady
ouokay
.
Sheproceededt
ohugherbr
other
sandmy
motherandTumi.
Themba:I
'
m gl
ady
oubacksaf
esi
sandy
ou
Mike.
..
Li
ly:
Thembapl
easenotnow,
i
twasnothi
sfaul
t
okay.
Me:
Itsf
inebaby
..
.
Hereyestrail
edoffasshelookedupthestai
rs
andTumi wascomi ngdownwi thMj,
thetear
s
star
tedagain.TumihandedMj t
oher.
Li
l
y :Heyfana'
s,y
oul
ooksobi
gnow,
mommy
missedyou!!
Hesur elydi
dmisshismotherbecausehewas
nowdoi ngthebabytal
kandLili
anwas
respondingtoi
t,wel
lshei
st heonl
yonewho
understandshim.Mymot herl
ookedatmeand
smiled.
Li
l
y:(
Tot
heki
ds)Al
lofy
oucomewi
thme.
?
Wealll
ookedatherbutshewalkedupthe
st
air
swithal
ltheki
dsbehindherincl
udi
ng
Thabi
sa.
Si
zwe:
Thanky
ouf
orbr
ingi
ngherhome.
Me:
Itwasmyr
esponsi
bil
i
ty.
Mari
a:Asmuchaswewoul
dli
ket
ostayhere
wi
thli
li
anbuty
ouguy
sneedsometi
mealone
wi
thyourki
ds.
Me:Thanky
oumother,
buty
our
eal
l
ydon'
thav
e
t
o,y
oucanallst
ay.
..
Al
l
:No!
!!
!

Il
aughedatt
hem becausetheywerepract
ical
l
y
onthedoor,
i
twasal ongthreeweeksf
orallof
us,I
'
m suret
heymissedthei
rliv
estoo.
Iranupthestai
rsandwhenIwal kedint
oour
bedroom Isawthemosttouchingthi
ngever,
all
thekidswerespreadoutonthebedbutLil
ian
wasnott
her
e.
Me:
Lynn!
!!
Shecameoutoft
hebat
hroom l
oti
oni
ngher
arms.
Li
ly
:Itseemslikeweneedt of
indoursel
vesa
newbedf ort
onightbecauset
heyall
dead
asl
eep.
Me:
comeher
e!!
Shewalkedupt
omeandsheIhuggedherf
rom
thebackwit
hbot
hofusl
ooki
ngattheki
ds.
Me: Ithi
nkt heyhaven'
tsleptpr
operl
yinday
s
sonowt hattheyknowy ouhome,theyar
e
rel
ax ed.
Li
l
y:Wehav
etoomanyki
ds,
j
ustl
ookatt
hem .
Me:
Theyar
eenough.
Li
l
y:Iwantt
ogodot
het
est
stomor
row.
Me:
I'
ll
comewi
thy
ouandev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbef
ine
t
rustme.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT66
Li
l
ian
(
2day
slat
er)
Wehav ebeeni nthehospi talf
ort hepast3
hourswaiti
ngformyt estresult
sandMi keis
bei
ngr eal
lysuppor t
iveandsoar etheki ds
.Whenwewer eaboutt oleavethehousei nthe
morningMnqobi andthet winscriedt oleave
wit
hmeandMj wasjoiningthecr ewbybei ng
supercli
ngyonme, sor i
ghtnowt heyar esit
ti
ng
onthecouchi nDRKhoza' soffi
ceandhewas
suresurpri
sedwhenhesawuswal ki nwiththe
ki
dsbutt heydidn'tgi
v eusachoi ce. Ihatewhat
happenedt omebecausei tsaf
fectingt hem
,t
heyal
waysaf
rai
dthatIwi
l
lleaveandt
hey'
ve
beenf
oll
owi
ngmearoundeverywher
eIgo.
Mi
ke:
Yourki
dsar
ejustl
i
key
ou.
Me:
Andwhyi
sthat?
Mike:
Theyar
ecrazy,
l
ookatt
hem seat
ingther
e
soquietl
i
ket
heyarewai
ti
ngforsomethi
ng.
Me:Fir
stofal
lI'
m nottheonlyonet
oblamefor
t
heabnormali
tyofthesekids,y
ouwanttoknow
whytheyqui
et?
Mi
ke:
mhh
Me:Theyal
lscar
edofneedl
essot
heyt
hink
t
heymightbeheref
orthat.
Mi
ke:
(l
aughs)ser
vest
hem r
ight.
Me:
you'
vebeenamazi
ngy
ouknowt
hat
?
Mike:
Justadmitit,
(smir
ks)I
'
m al
way
sbeen
amazingi
nfactI'
m great
.
Me:
Urgggf
orgetIsai
dany
thi
ng(
laughs)
Hewasaboutt osaysomet hi
ngwhendoctor
KhozacameandIsawt hekidsbei
ngreal
ly
fr
ightenedandMi kej
usthadtolaugh,
Ihi
this
arm andhestopped.
Mi
ke:
Ican'
thel
pitbabe.
DrKhoza:
Youtwoar
ealway
sinaj
oll
ymood
evenf
orseri
ousmat
ter
.
Me:
Hei
stobl
amef
ort
hat.
Mi
ke:
Whatar
ether
esul
tsDoc.
?
Ifel
tmypal msbecomi ngsweat yashe
mentionsthetestresults,whatifIhav
eall
thosethi
ngs?IknowMi kesaidhewi l
lbehere
formebutwi t
ht hoseki ndofdiseasesther
e's
notell
ingwhathewi lldo.
DrKhoza:Wellletmestartbysayi
ngthankGod
youhadyourtubestiedbecausewedonthave
t
owor r
yaboutpr egnancy.Youwerenot
i
nfect
edwi t
hanySTDS.
Me:
(si
ghs)Andt
heot
herone?
DrKhoza:
Wel lt
heyal
socameoutNegati
vebut
wit
hHIVitst
rickysowehavet
ore-dothetest
i
nthreemonthstime.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoest
hatmean?
DrKhoza:
itmeansyouandyourwif
ehav
eto
useaCondom unti
lwere-
dothetest
.
Mi
ke:
That
'snothappeni
ng!
!
Me: Nevermi
ndhim,
sowiththetestbei
ng
negati
vewhatar
ethechancesthattheycan
change?
DrKhoza:
Chancesoft
het
estr
esul
tschangi
ng
i
s8%
Me:Soyousay
ingt
here'
shi
ghchancet
hey
mi
ghtcomebacksti
l
lasanegat
ive?
DrKhoza:
Yes,
ther
ear
ever
yhi
ghchancesof
t
hat.
Il
ookedatMi
ket
oseei
fhehadanyquest
ions
buthewasinadazeandIknewhewasst i
ll
heldupatt
hatcondom part,
wehavenever
usedacondom befor
ewellexceptt
heactual
fi
rstt
imeihadsexwithhim.
Me:Thanky
ouDoc,
guesswi
l
lseey
oui
nthr
ee
months.
IstoodupandMi kedi dtoo, ipushedMj 's
str
ollerwhi
lehewaswal kingbehindt heot her
andwebuckl edtheni nthecarandhedr oveus
backhome. Iwashappywi t
ht hetestresultsi
j
usthopeandpr ayt hatthoseHI Vt estcome
backnegativeagainbecausei am readyt oli
ve
againandjustenjoybeingwi thmyf amil
y .
YesterdayMi keandIwenttoourfir
sttherapy
andbel i
evemewhenIsayi tdidnotstartwell
becauseMi kewasadamantt hatheisnot
tal
kingtonost r
angerhoweverformei twas
producti
veandI '
l
lsti
l
lgoeverytwoday sina
week.
Wear rivedandhepar kedthecarandI
unbuckl edthekidsandt heyqui ckl
yrantothe
housesur el
ytothepl ayr
oom , t
hoseki dsl
ove
thatroom especial
lynowt hatMi kehasput
tel
evisioninthere.Ismil
edl ookingataSleeping
Mj ,
Ikissedhisforeheadandhesl i
ght
lyopened
hiseyesbutwentbackt ohi ssleep.
Me:
Hel
ooksmor
eli
key
ouev
ery
day
!!
Mike:
That
'sagoodt
hing,
thati
sTheeMi
kei
n
t
hemaking.
Me:
Youf
eel
i
ngy
our
sel
ftoday,
alot.
Mi
ke:Goputhimtohi
sbedandcomel
aywi
th
meinourbedr
oom.
Me:Notnowbbe,
Ihavetomakethei
r
l
unch,youknowwefeedi
ngthewholezoo.
Mike:Thi
siswhyI'
mt hebesthusband,
Ial
ready
madeapl anf
orthat.
Theirl
unchisonthe
ki
tchen.
Idontknowwhatisgoi
ngonwi
thhi
mtodaybut
heisveryhappy.
Me:
Okayl
etmeputhi
m down.
Iwal
kedupthestai
rsandwalkedi
ntoMj'
s
nur
seryandwhenIputhi
m downhewakesup
andst
artswhi
ning,
nowImustputhim backt
o
sl
eep.
Ist
artedsi
ngi
ngtohim whil
ebrushi
nghisnose
andinafewhewasout, t
hatalwaysworkseven
onMikehejustdoesn'
tknowitbuttohi
m Ionly
doitwhenhewantstotalkwheniam sl
eepy.
Iwalkedint
oourbedroom andhewaslayi
ng
underthecover
swithhisclot
hesonwhichhe
neverdoes,nowneisbeingweir
d.
Mi
ke:
Whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
ofi
gur
eouti
nyour
mi
nd?
Me:
You!
!
Mi
ke:
Whatdi
dido?
Me:
Yousur
eyouar
eokay?
Mi
ke:
Comel
aywi
thme?
Igotint
othecoversandwelookedateach
otherwhil
elay
ingonoursi
des.
Mike:
Youdon'
tknowthepeaceIhav
eknowi
ng
t
hatyouar
esafeandherewit
hme.
Me: Iloveyou,youknowwhenIwasst i
ll
li
ving
i
nNewYor kIusedtot hi
nktheonl ymanI '
llev
er
l
ov ewashi m butyoucamei nandt ookbothmy
heartandsoul i
ntoy ourshellandIdon'tever
wantt oescapebecausey ouaret hebest
fr
iend,husband,prot
ectorandmost lyan
outstandingfatherandlif
epar tner.
Isaidki
ssinghim andhedeepenedi tbyhis
tongue,hepinnedmedownget t
ingont opof
meandhonest l
yIwouldlovetohav esexwith
myhusbandbutIdon' tthi
nkmyv agi
naisready
yetandbesidesIcannotignor
et hefactthatI
sti
llhav
eapendi ngHIVt est.
Me:
(Moans)Mhhhbabyst
op!
Mi
ke:
(ki
ssi
ngmyneck)Doy
ouwantmet
ost
op?
Me:
uhhhNobutwehav
eto.
Hebroket
heki
ss,
l
ayi
ngbackandpul
l
ingmet
o
hi
schest.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
Ij
ustcan'
t.I
'
m notr
eady.
Mi
ke:
Itsf
inebaber
elax.
Me:AndIknowy ouwon'
tputonacondom and
babywecan'tt
aketheri
skofbot
hofusbeing
i
nfect
ed.
Mike:
Formeitreall
ydoesn'
tmatt
erbecause
ev
enifyouposi
tiv
eI '
l
lst
il
lshagy
ouwi t
houti
t.
Me:
(l
aughs)nott
he"
shag"
nameagai
n.
Mi
ke:
Ithasani
cer
ingt
oit,
doesn'
tit
?
Me:
What
e..
..
Ist
oppedwhenIheardmyphoneri
nging,
I
pul
ledmyhandtaki
ngitwhi
l
esti
ll
inthesame
posit
ion,
i
twasMaMoi ponewowIhav
en'
t
tal
kedtoheri
nfor
ever
.
Me:
Hel
l
oma?
Poni
:
"Li
l
ianmy
(coughs)chi
l
dhowar
eyou?
"
Me:
I'
m goodma,
buty
oudontsoundt
oogood.
?
Poni:
"Ey
yymyheal
thhast
ookat
urnf
ort
he
worstmychi
l
d"
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
?
Isai
dget
ti
ngof
foft
hebedandsi
tt
ingdown.
Poni:
"Thecanceri
sbackandi
tsat
tacki
ng
real
l
yf ast
"
Me:
Andt
hechemoi
snothel
ping.
?
Poni
:
"No,
Iam get
ti
ngwor
sedaybyday
"
Me:MaIcangett
hebestdoct
orst
ohel
pyou
,any
thi
ng.
Poni
:"
Iknowyouwouldmychi
ldbutIdon'twant
any.
Mytimei
srunni
ngoutandican'
ttakecare
ofthetwins,t
heystil
lteenagerswhoneed
someonet oguidethem. Iknowmyson
wrongedy oubutyoutheonl yonei t
rustwi
th
them ,
you'ver
aisedthem bef or
e."
Iwontl
ieIwasshockedbyherrequestandin
myheartidon'
tmindtaki
ngcar
eoft hem buti
am amarri
edwomannowandi don'tmake
deci
si
onsonmyownespeci al
lyaboutsuch
i
ssues.
Me:
Madi
dyout
ell
them?
Poni
:
"Yesandt
heyunder
stood"
Me: Al
ri
ghtihearyoumaandal thoughiwoul
d
havelovedtogetyouthehelpyouneedbuti
will
acceptyourdeci
sion.I
nregardstot
hegirls
,ineedtotal
ktomyhusbandf ir
sttheniwil
ltel
l
you.
Poni
:"
ohhmydaughteryouhav
eal
way
sbeena
Godsent,
I
'l
lwai
ttohearfr
om y
ou"
Me:
Alr
ightmaandi
wil
lcomet
oseey
out
oo.
Poni
:
"al
ri
ght
,by
e"
idr
oppedthecal
landi
lookedatMi
keandhe
waswait
ingformetot
alk.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
ouneedt
otal
ktomeabout
.?
Me:uhmm,
your
emembert
het
wingi
rl
si
r
aised?
Mi
ke:
Yes,
Kagi
so'
stwi
ns.
Me:Yes,
uhmm t
hei
rgrandmotheri
sdeadlyi
l
l
andshewant
smetotakecareofthem .
Hel
ookedatmewi
thquest
ioni
ngey
es.
Me:Iknowit
'snoti
dealbutmyloveI
'mtheonl
y
t
heyhavelef
tift
hei
rgrandmotherdi
es.
Mike:
Ihearyou,
itwil
lbej
ustwei
rdhavingt
o
l
ookatKagiso'
skidsknowi
ngthatIki
l
ledhi
m.
Me:
Iknowbabybut.
..
Mike:
Itsokaytheycancomel
i
veher
easl
ong
asIwil
lberespected.
Me:
Idon'
tdeser
vey
ou,
youar
esoamazi
ng.
Mi
ke:
Iknow.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT67
Li
l
ian
I
'll
begl adwhentheseschoolscl
osefort
he
Mar chholi
daysbecausethi
swakingupearl
y
processisexhaust
ingbutIwouldn'
ttr
adedoi
ng
thi
sf ormykids.
TheboysareallgoodandIam st i
l
ldeal
ingwith
thedramaqueen,IswearNelibehavesl
ikeMike
whenhedecidestobejoll
y.Wehav ebeen
fi
ghti
ngaboutwhatshewant st owearandthis
chil
dhatesev
erythi
ngIpickoutbutshef i
nal
l
y
choseherout
fit
.
Me:
Unedr
amagi
rl
!
Nel
i:Haamama(
pout
ing)
Ismi
l
edpi
cki
ngherup.
Me:
Okay,
aski
esbaby
.
isai
dlaughi
ngtr
yingt
oki
ssherfacebutshe
movedherfacet
omyneckavoidingmykisses.
Me:Okaysincey
ougrownkesi
syoucanwal
k
byy
ourselfdownthest
air
s.
Nel
i
:Okay,
youcanki
ssme.
Il
aughedwatchi
ngherst
andi
ngt
her
ewi
thher
ar
msf ol
ded.
Me:
Sor
rysi
s,I
'
m al
readyov
ert
hat
.Comeeat.
Nel
i
:Mama
Iwalkedandwal keddownst air
sandIcoul d
hearherwalkingslowl ybehindme. Il
aughedas
Iwalkedintothekitchenseei ngMnqobi and
Siy
aal r
eadyeatingt heiroats,t
hesetwoar e
bestbuddiesandIdof eel l
i
keNel ii
slonely
beingtheonlygirl
int hehouse.
Me:
Mnqobi
whogav
eyout
hatf
ood?
Mnqobi
:Mamawewer
ehungr
y,y
ouwer
e
t
aki
ngtolong.
Me:
Real
l
ysmoot
hMrt
alker.
Isatdownbr
ingi
ngNel
itomyl
apf
eedi
ngher.
Mnqobi
:Mamaam Igoi
ngt
oseedadt
oday
?
Me:
Youwantt
o?
Mnqobi
:Yespl
ease!
!
Me:Okaystopscr
eami
ng,
I'
ll
cal
lhi
mtogety
ou
f
rom school
.
Si
ya:
CanIgot
oomommy
?
He'
stheonl
ychi
ldt
hatcal
l
smet hatandi
kind
ofl
ovebutt
heseot
her
sprefer"
mama"
Me:
Gowher
e?
Si
ya:
Wit
hBhut
i
Me:Youwanttoleav
emeal
one?Mommywi
l
l
besadthough.
Si
ya:
No,
Iwi
l
lst
aywi
thy
ou.
Me: Fanakama,youar
esuchagoodboy
(
kissinghi
scheek)
Ipl
acedNeli
downandwal kedupstai
rst
owake
Mikeupsothathecantakethem t
oschool
,he
wassupposetobeupbynowbutknowi ngMike
heispr
obablysti
l
lasl
eep.
Iwalkedintoourbedr
oom andhewassti
ll
sl
eepingj ustl
i
keIthought
.Ipul
l
edof
fthe
coversfr
om him.
Mi
ke:
Youar
esoabusi
ve.
Me:
Wakeup,
yout
aki
ngt
heki
dst
oschool
r
emember
?
Mi
ke:
Canty
out
aket
hem ?
Me:
No!
!,
nowgetup.
Mi
ke:
Ineedsomemot
ivat
ion.
Ismil
edlooki
ngathi
m ashehadhiseyes
cl
osed,It
ookthegl
assofwateronthesi
de
tabl
eandpour
edi
tonhi
sfaceandhej
umped
outoft
hebed.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anDi
mba!
!!
Me:
(l
aughi
ng)Yesmyl
ove.
Mi
ke:
Yourassi
sgoi
ngt
opayf
ort
his.
Me:
Gladl
yBaba.
Hej ustl
ookedatmeandwalkedi ntothe
bathroom andinlesst
han5mi nuteshewas
backwear i
nghisshort
sandvestwi t
hsli
des.
Me:
Itsnott
hatl
atef
ory
out
otakeashower
.
Mi
ke:
Idontwantt
o.
Me:
Youst
ink.
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
comebackt
oyoust
inki
ngl
i
ket
his.
Ij
ustlookedathim andsmirked,
Igrabbeda
wetclothandtol
dhi mtorai
sehisarmswhileI
wipedhisarmpit
sthereaf
terputt
ingdeodor
ant
onhim.
Mi
ke:
Whaty
oudoi
ngr
ightnowi
ssexy.
Me:Mxm t
hedayImar
ri
edy
ou,
yout
urnedi
nto
ababy
.
Mi
ke:
Thatwast
hebestdayofmyl
i
fe.
Me:
Goodf
ory
ou,
nowl
et'
sgo.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
any
ouknowy
oul
oveme!
Hesai
dfol
l
owi
ngbehi
ndme.
Me:
DoI
?
Iwalkeddowngiv
ingt
heki
dst
hei
rbagsand
gavethem t
hei
rhugs.
Mi
ke:
I'
m notget
ti
ngmi
ne?
Me:
Mikej
ustgopl
ease.
Heslowl ytowardst
hedoorandIgav ehima
deadstar eandhewalkedoutfastandIhear d
thecarleavingandIl
aughedbymy sel
f,Mikeis
real
l
ycr azybutIam soblessedtohavehis
support.Iquickl
ypl
acedthebowlsi nt
hedi sh
washert hencleanedaroundthel ounge.Ir
an
upstair
sandt ooka15mi nut
eshower, walki
ng
i
ntot hebedroom dryingmyhai rnaked,I
observedmybodyf rom themirrorandIam
gl
adal lthescarsaregoneandal t
houghwhat
happenedt omei sterri
blebutIam gladIlost
weight.
Mi
ke:
DamnIam l
ucky
Me:
Youbet
terr
ecogni
zeMr
Mi
ke:
hmmmmmm t
rustmeIdo.
Hesai dcomingclosertome,huggi
ngmefrom
thebehindki
ssingmyneckwhi l
ehi
shands
reachedmyv aginaquickl
yplayi
ngwit
hmycli
t
andIcouldfeelmybodyr eacti
ngsowashi
s.
Mike:
Didn'
tIsayyouwer
egoi
ngt
opayf
or
whatyoudi
dearli
er?
Icouldn'tsayanythi
ngexceptmoanfr
om t
he
pleasureIwasr ecei
vingf
rom hi
shand.
Heturnedmearoundki
ssingmeandIwasso
wetri
ghtnowIneedhiminsideme,
Damnthi
s
pendi
ngtest.
Me:
(st
oppi
nghi
m)Mi
ke,
youknowwecantd.
..
.
Mi
ke:
Shhhh,
l
et'
snotr
uint
hemoment.
Hesaidpicki
ngmeupandl ay
ingmedownon
thebedimmediat
elysucki
ngthel
if
eoutofmy
breast
s.
Me:
Babey,
Mjwi
l
lwakeup!
!
Mi
ke:
Wel
lhei
snot.
Ifel
thi slipsagai nstmyv aginaandhi scold
l
ipsagai nstmycl i
t,heblewai ri
ntoitandhis
tonguewentt owor keati
ngt hesouloutofme
andi tseemedl i
kemymoansmot i
vatedhimt o
gomor eashesuckedmycl itwhil
efinger
fuckingme, Ifeltmybodyt ensi
ngupandi nno
ti
memyor gasm camespl ashingandhewi ped
mecl eanmaki nghi swayupt omylipskissing
me, andi tfel
tsosexyt ast
ingmy selffr
om hi s
l
i
ps.
AsIwaski ssi
nghi
m Icoul
dfeel
hispeni
s
againstmystomachhardashel
landIst
art
ed
tofeelgui
l
ty.
Mike:
Don'twor
ryaboutme,Icantakeacol
d
showerbuty
ouneededthi
smyl ov
e.
Me:
Ist
il
lfeel
bad.
Mi
ke:
Don'
t
Me:Mhhh(smi
l
es)howaboutIfi
xyouup,y
ou
knowIhav
esomethi
ngel
sethatIcanuse.
Mi
ke:
(shocked)What
?Youbei
ngser
ious?
Me:
Ohhy
ousoundsosur
pri
sed!
Mi
ke:
Youhav
en'
tdonet
hati
nyear
s
Me:
Wel
ll
etmeseei
fIst
il
lknowmygame!
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT68
Li
l
ian
(
Aweekl
ater
)
Onewoul dthinkMi keandIgetboredbei
ngwi t
h
eachot herev erysi
ngl edaybutwedon'
t,for
start
ersIhar dlyeverpayat t
enti
ontohi
m when
Iam busywi thmyt hingsandhealsodoesthe
samet hingbuthesur eknowshowt obea
nuisancewhenhewant sto.
TodayIam abi tner v
ousbecauset het
winsar
e
arri
vi
ng.Weal readymadear rangementsfor
schoolandev eryt
hingelsebutIdonotknow
whattoexpectbecauseIhav en'tli
vedwit
h
them i
nal ongt i
me.Sadl yIdidn'
tgetachance
togov i
sitMaMai ponibutItalktoherondai
ly
basiswhichisgoodr i
ght.
Ihavebeencleani
ngthehouseal
lmorni
ng,
wel
l
thati
smyt herapywhenI'
m ner
vous.
Mi
ke:
Thi
shousei
scl
ean,
Idontknowwhaty
ou
st
il
lcl
eani
ngf
or.
Me:
Ial
sodon'
tknow.
Mi
ke:(
handsmeagl assofv
odka)Her
e,t
his
wi
l
lcal
my ourner
vesdown.
Ismirkedgivi
nghim adeadst ar
e,heknowsI
dontdrinkespeci
all
ynotv odkabecauseIdo
occasional
lypl
aywithwine.
Mi
ke:
(laughs)I
'
mtr
yingt
ohel
p.
Me:
SincewhendoIdr
ink?
Mi
ke:
True,
I
'veonl
yseeny
oudr
unkonce.
Why
?
Me:BecauseIcannothandl
eal
cohol
andi
dont
l
ikei
t.
Mike:Relax,t
hegirl
swonthav
etr
oubl
eimean
youraisedthem bef
ore.
Me:
Theygr
ownnow.
Mike:I
ftheydi
dn'
twantt
oli
vewi
thy
ou,
they
weren'
tgoingt
ocome.
Me:
Your
ight.
Mi
ke:
I'
m al
way
sri
ght
!!
Me:
mhhhi
fyousayso.
Hepul
l
edmei
ntohi
m ki
ssi
ngmyneck.
Mi
ke:
Admi
t(
bit
esmyneck)i
t.
Me:
mhhhy
ounot
..
..
Okayt
hisi
sgoi
ngtoturnint
oaheat
edsessi
on
,i
fel
thi
shandsunhooki
ngmyJean.
Wehavebeenonsomeoral
addi
cti
onl
atel
y
si
ncewecanthav
esex.
Me:
No,
wenotdoi
ngt
his!
Mi
ke:
Yousur
e?
Heknowshowtot
urnmeonext
remel
y,Iwas
aboutt
ogi
vei
nwhen..
..
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
an!
!!
!
Shewasalr
eadyint
hehouse,
shi
t.
Ipul
l
ed
Mike'
shandoutofmyvagi
namaki
nghim st
op.
Mar
ia:
Haaa,
donty
out
wogett
ir
edofal
lthi
s?
Mike:Mor
ningt
oyoutoomother,
youdoknow
t
hisismyhouseandmywif
er i
ght
?
Hesai
dfi
xi
ngmyJeanandIt
urnedar
ound
f
aci
ngMaria.
Me:
Mor
ningma
Maria:Morni
ng,
wher
earemygr andki
ds
becauseIcantSt
andthesexualt
ensi
on
betweenyoutwo.
Me:
Other
sar
eatschool
,
Mji
staki
nganap.
Mar
ia:
Ohhh,
soI
'
m st
uckwi
thy
out
wo?
Mi
ke:
Sadl
yyes,
whatbr
ingsy
ouby
?
Me:
(hi
tt
inghi
schest
)Mi
ke!
!
Mari
a:Nevermi
ndhi
m,hewasnev
ert
aught
manners.
Mi
ke:
Bywho?
Me:
MacanImakey
ousomet
hingt
odr
ink?
Mar
ia:
Thanky
oubaby
,Ij
ustwantwat
er.
Iwalkedof
ftothekit
chenleavi
ngthem ther
e
,MikeandMari
ar el
ati
onshipi
swei r
dbutlovi
ng
atthesameti
me, whenIlookatthem
somet i
mesIj
ustremembermymot herImi
ss
hersomuch.
Igrabbedabott
leofwat
erfr
om t
hef
ridgeand
poureditont
heglasswal
ki
ngbackt
ot hem .
Mar
ia:
Thanky
ouMakot
i.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ocheckonMj
Mike:
Babywhenheisawakeyouwi
l
lknow
,t
hatwhywehavethemonit
or.
Mari
a:Si
tdownIact
ual
l
ywantt
otal
ktobot
hof
you.
Me:
Ohhokay.
Isatdownnextt
oMi
ke.
Mari
a:Yourbr
otheri
sget
ti
ngmar
ri
ednext
week!
IlookedatMikeandhewasjustplai
n,
Iknow
thatatthementi
onofKhay
ahel osesit.
Mi
ke:
Sur
elyy
ounotexpect
ingmet
ocome.
Mari
a:Mzi
wonkeheisy
ourbrot
herr
egar
dless
ofhowhei
s.Doitf
ormethen?
Mi
ke:
Mot
herIl
ovey
oubutt
hisIam notdoi
ng.
Me:
Butbaby
..
..
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anIsai
dI'
m notgoi
ngnei
therar
eyou.
Me:Idobel
iev
eIhav
ear
ightt
omyown
deci
si
ons.
Mike:Idarey
out
ogoandy
ouwi
l
lseewhat
happens!!
Hesai
dwal
ki
ngof
fupst
air
s.
Mari
a:Ay
yIgiveup,y
ouknowthi
sispainf
ul
knowi
ngthaty
ourchi
ldr
enhat
eeachother.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
Ifeel
yourpai
n.
Mar
ia:
AndI
'
m caughti
nbet
weenbecause
Khayaalwayssay
sIl
oveandcar
emor
eabout
MikethanIdohim.
Me:That
'snott
rue,
youl
ovebot
hyoursons
equal
l
y.
Mari
a:Canyout
alkt
ohi
m ?Itwouldbeni
cet
o
j
usthavet
hewholef
ami
lyt
ogether.
Me:I
'l
ltr
ybuty
ousawhowhej
ustshotme
down.
Mar
ia:
Alr
ight
,Ihav
etogomeetupwi
thAl
i
cia
f
orsomeweddingthi
ngs.
Me:
Ali
cia?
Mar
ia:
Yes,
that
'sKhay
a'sf
iance.
Me:Alr
ight,
Ishoul
dmeethersomet i
mesi nce
shewil
lbejoini
ngthefamil
yalthoughIdont
knowhowt hatwil
lbesinceyourchil
drenare
l
iket
his.
Mar
ia:
Iwi
l
ltel
lher.
Me:
Alr
ightma,
gowel
l
.
Isighedlooki
ngattheti
me, Imustgopi
ckup
thetwinsfrom t
heair
port
.Iwalkedupst
air
sto
Mike'soffi
ceandhewasj ustsi
tt
ingt
hereandI
am notabouttoenter
tai
nhi smoods.
Me:
Cany
oucheckMj
whi
l
eIgof
etcht
het
wins.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ryaboutear
li
er.
Me:Whatev
er,
hisbot
tl
eisi
nthewar
merI
shoul
dbebacksoon.
Isai
dclosinghi
sdoorandwal ki
ngoutwithmy
carkeys,
I'
m madbutIdon'tknowwhy ,Maybe
becauseIwasenjoyi
nghisjol
lysideandnow
webackt othear
rogantsi
de.
(
1hourl
ater
)
Lerat
o:Wow,Ithoughtt
heprevi
oushousewas
hugebutt
hisisonanotherl
evel
.
Lebo:
Howr
oomsar
eher
e?
Me:
Lol
,theyar
eenoughf
oral
lofus.
Ipar
kedt
hecari
nthegar
ageandt
heyt
ook
thei
rbagsoutandwewalkedinsi
deandthey
coul
dn'tst
opadmiri
ngt
hehouse,Ithi
nkIwas
worri
edfornot
hingt
heysti
ll
thesame.
Me: Leav
eyourbagst
here,y
ouwi
l
ltaket
hem t
o
yourroomslat
er,
Iam hungr
y.
Lebo:
(l
aughs)Somet
hingsnev
erchange!
!
Ler
ato:
Youjustl
i
kehert hough,
not
hingcomes
bet
weenyouandy ourf
ood.
Lebo:
Wher
eisMnqobi
?
Me:
Theyst
il
latschool
.
Lebo:
They
?
OhhmyGod, t
heydontknowIhaveot
herki
ds
besi
desMnqobi,
wowIr eal
l
ybecametheworst
mothert
othem .
Mi
ke:
Ohhgoodt
o..
..
.
Hecamedownstai
rswi
thacr
yingMj,
he
st
oppedt
alki
ngwhenhesawthetwi
ns.
Mi
ke:
He'
sbeencr
yingsi
ncehewokeup.
Me:(
taki
nghim)Heyfana'
s,whyar
eyoucr
ying
l
iket
hat?Youmissedmommy?
Ipl
acedhi
m onmychestandhest
art
ed
pl
ayi
ngwit
hfaceasusual
.
Mi
ke:
Higi
rl
s,I
'
m sur
eyoust
il
lrememberme?
Bot
h:Yeswedo.
Mike:
Welli
t'
sni
ceseei
ngy
ouagai
n(t
ome)
babeI'
l
lbei
nmyoffi
ce.
Me:
Alr
ight
.
Hewal
kedof
f.
Lebo:
Hel
ookssocut
e.
shesai
dref
err
ingt
oMj
.
Me:
Hereal
l
yis,
thi
sisMj
myl
astbor
nandhei
s
amama'
sboy.
Ler
ato:
CanIhol
dhi
m?
Me:
Sur
e.
IhandedherMjandtomysur
pri
sehedi
dn'
tcr
y
,hejustl
ookedather.
Lebo:
Youwer
eal
way
sgoodwi
thbabi
esLer
ato.
Ler
ato:
Iknow.
Me:
Ihav
ethr
eemor
e.
Bot
h:Thr
ee!
!!
!
Me:WelloneisMike'
sdaught
erwhoi
solder
t
hany ou,
thenIhavetwi
nswhoarecl
osetotwo
year
snowandMj i
s8months.
l
ebo:Youhav
eaf
ull
house,
Ifeel
li
kewear
e
i
ntr
uding.
Me: Noyounot,
Iam happytohav
emyot her
chil
drenbackbesi
destheseonesarebori
ng
.Mnqobiandthetwinsareal
waysinthe
playr
oom andMjisalwayssl
eepi
ngsowi th
youguysaroundI'
l
lhavesomeonetochil
lwith.
Ler
ato:
(l
aughs)y
ouusi
ngwor
dsl
i
ke"
chi
l
l"now?
Me:
Ohhpl
ease,
Iknowt
hel
anguagey
oual
l
speak.
Lebo:
Goodchoi
ce.
Wehadourf oodwhil
echatti
ngup, andthey
weretell
ingmeaboutal l
thathappenedandMj
wasv erymuchi nLi
kewithLeratobecauseshe
wasst i
llhol
dinghi
m, t
herascalscanbehome
anymi nuter
ightnowandasi ftheyheardme
,thedoorswingopenandal lIcoul
dhearwas
"mama"
Nel
i
:Mamal
ookatwhatIdr
ew!
!
Shesaidhandingmeherpict
ureandtobe
honestidontknowwhatthehel
lshedrewbuti
mustactlikeil
ikei
t.
Ipi
ckedheruppl
acingher
onmywai st.
Me:I
tsbeauti
fulbaby
girl
(ki
sshercheek)
mamaisgoingtoputitonthefr
idge.
Il
ookedatMnqobi andSiy
aandicoul
dsee
Mnqobilooki
ngatLerat
oandLeboasifhei
s
tr
yingt
or ememberthem .
Mnqobi
:Leboandl
erat
o,y
esi
remember.
Hesai
drunni
ngt
othem huggi
ngt
hem .
Lebo:
Heybuddy
,wemi
ssedy
ou.
Mnqobi
:Iknow!
!
Weal
ll
aughedathi
sst
atement
,hesur
efeel
s
hi
msel
f.
Ipl
acedNeli
ont
hecount
erandpi
ckedupSi
ya
,myonlychi
l
dwi
thgoodmanner
s.
Si
ya:
mommyI
'
mti
red.
Me:
Icansee,
yougoi
ngt
oeatf
ir
str
ight?
Si
ya:
Okay.
Me:
Thisi
sSi
yaandt
hedr
amaqueenov
erher
e
i
sNeli
.
Nel
i
:Haaamama.
Shealway
ssay snowhenIcal
lherdr
ama
queenasifsheknowswhati
tmeans.
Af
tereat
ingt
heki
dst
ookt
hei
rnapsandLebo
andLer
atowentt
othei
rroomst
orestal
so.
Iwentbackupstai
rst
ot hebedr
oom andMike
waslay
ingonhisbacklooki
ngatthecei
li
ng.
Me:
Yououtofy
ourmoodsy
et?
Mi
ke:
Whatmoods?Isai
dI'
m sor
ryf
orear
li
er.
Me: Okayit
'sf
inebutj
ustsoyouknowt hi
sis
hardforyourmothert
oo.Shef
eel
slikeshehas
tochoosebetweenherkids.
Mi
ke:
Thegi
rl
sar
eset
tl
ingi
nwel
l
?
Me: i
twonthelpdiv
ergi
ngthetopi
candIwi ll
go
totheweddingbecauseIdonthaveaproblem
wit
hKhay a'
sfianceandshealsodeservesa
goodwelcomingtothefamil
yjustl
ikeIdid.
Mi
ke:
Soy
ougoi
ngev
ent
houghIsai
dno.
Me:Yes,y
ouri
ssueswit
hKhayaareyours.Iwi
l
l
gother
etosuppor
tyourmot
herbecausethati
s
al
soherson.
Mi
ke:
Alr
ightt
henbutmyki
dsar
enotgoi
ng
t
her
e,i
fyouwantt
ogoy
ouwi
l
lgoal
one.
Me:
Youbei
ngr
eal
l
ypr
ett
yri
ghtnow.
Mi
ke:
Khay
aissel
fi
shandaungr
atef
ulbr
at.
Me: Idontunder st
andwhyi t'
ssohar dforyou
toseet hisfrom Khay a'
spoi ntofvi
ew,Imean
yout ookNosi phofrom hi
m andmar ri
edherand
totopi toff,hehadt owat chyourai
sehi sson
everyday, t
hatwasnothi sforhimthat'
swhyhe
hassomuchhat eforyoubutnoneofhi s
feel
ingsmat tertoyoubecauseal lt
haty oucar
e
abouti dmsy ourdamnpr ide.Maybenoone
evert ol
dy ourf amil
ythi
sbuty ouareallto
blamef orKhay a'
sangert owardsyou.
Mi
ke:
Whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
?
Me:
Youhear
dme.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT69
Li
l
ian
Mike:Yousayingwemustbowdownt
ohi
m
becauseofthat.
Me: Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ngaboutbowi
ngdown
,buthedeserv
estoberespect
edespeci
all
yby
you.
Mi
ke:Li
l
ianIam notgoingt
oargueaboutt
his
wi
thy
ouandwecl osingthi
sri
ghtnow.
Me:
(f
akesl
augh)Ofcausewear
eendi
ngi
t.
Mi
ke:
Youbei
ngdi
srespect
ful
rightnow!
Me:OhhsowhenIam t
ell
i
ngy
out
het
rut
h,I
'
m
di
srespect
ful
?
Mi
ke:
Let
'sj
ustagr
eet
odi
sagr
eeont
hisone.
Me:Whatever,
you'
vej
ustrui
nedmywhol e
mood.I
'l
ltakemynapintheotherr
oom and
pl
easedontfoll
owme.
Isai
dt akingmyphoneandMj '
smoni t
or,Mike
canbesel fi
shwhenhewant sto.Imeant hey
aretheoneswhowr ongedKhay abyal l
owing
Miketomar r
yhiswomanandf orcinghimt o
watchMi keraisehischild,
Idontunder stand
whyhecan' tjustputhisprideasideand
apologizebecauseifthiswasdonet ohim he
wouldbeki ll
i
ngev eryt
hingbreathing.
Il
aidonthebedlookingatt
hecei
li
ng,greatI
'
m
nolongerf
eel
ingsleepynowal
lbecauseofhis
ar
rogantass.
Iwasbusywit
hmyphonewhenIhear
daknock
onthedoor
.
Me:
Comei
n!!
Lebo:I
'
m sorr
yifIdi
stur
bedy
ou,
Isawy
ou
comingher
e.
Me:
Itsokaybaby
gir
l,comel
aywi
thme.
Isatupagai
nstt
hepi
ll
owandshepl acedher
headonmylapandIbrushedherhai
r.
Lebo:
Iwant
edt
oasky
ousomet
hingi
fyoudont
mind.
Me:
Itsokay,
youcanaskmeany
thi
ng.
Lebo:
Whydi
dyouf
orgetaboutus?
Iswal
l
owedr
eal
har
datherquest
ion.
Me:Ihatemy sel
ffort
hatbutIwill
behonest
wit
hy ou.Iwassocaughtupinthedrama
happeni
ngi nmyli
feandIforgotabouty
ouguys
.
Lebo:
Ineededy
oudur
ingt
hatr
apet
hing.
Me:
Iam sosor
ryIwasnott
her
efory
ou.
Lebo:
Itsokay
,ideal
thwi
thi
t.
Me:
Whoassaul
tedy
ou?
Lebo:
Myt eacherbuthewasar
rest
edaf
ter
bei
ngfoundguilt
y.
Me:
didy
ouseesomeoneaf
tert
hat?
Lebo:
YesIdi
dandi
thel
ped.
Me:Okay,l
et'
smakeadeal
.Yout
woar
est
uck
wi
thti
llIdi
e.
Shest
oodupl
aughi
ngl
ooki
ngatme.
Lebo:
Idontseet
hathappeni
ngany
timesoon
Me:(l
aughs)
Youmakei
tsoundl
i
kei
t'
sabad
t
hing.?
Lebo:Ohhtr
ustmeit'
snot,
Iwoul
dpaya
for
tunetoseeyouatage80.
Me:
Hahav
eryf
unny
Shewal
kstowar
dthedoorl
aughi
ngandshe
st
andsatt
hedoor.
Lebo:
Imeanj ustimaginey
ouat80,
l
esst
alki
ng
andotherst
uffs(
laughs)
Shel
aughsr
unni
ngaway.
Me:
(shout
ing)Ngi
zokushay
awena!
!!
Il
aughedbymyselfatherstat
ement,
Iwi
l
l
honest
lyenj
oyl
i
vingwiththem .
Iconti
nuedplayi
ngagameonmyphoneand
honestl
yIam bored,al
ltheseki
dsaretaki
ng
thei
rnapsandmyhusbandohhwel l,
heis
probabl
ynursinghi
sbruisedegonotthatIcar
e
butImisshi
m.
Ihear
dthedoorsl
i
ghtl
yopeningandIdi
dn'
t
evenrai
semyeyesbecauseIcoul
dtel
lwhoit
was.
Mi
ke:
Makhumal
o!
Ilookedathi
m andhehadaplatewit
h
strawber
ri
esandwhipcream,asmuchasIlov
e
them butt
heywontdothetr
ickri
ghtnow.
Mike:
I'm sor
rymylove,
youwer
erightandI
havethoughtaboutmyr
olei
nall
ofthis.Iwi
l
l
gotothewedding.
Me:
Andapol
ogi
zet
ohi
mri
ght
?
Mike:
Babylet
'sst
artwi
tht
heweddi
ngandt
he
r
estwill
fol
l
ow.
Me:
Youar
esopr
oud,
Ihat
eitsomet
imes.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayIl
ovey
ounj
e.
Mi
ke:
Iknowy
oudo!
!
Me:
What
ever,
myst
rawber
ri
espl
ease!
!
Mi
ke:
Whosai
dtheyy
our
s?
Me:
MikeDi
mbadontt
ryme
Mi
ke:
Her
e,t
rustmei
woul
dn'
tdar
e.
.
.
.
(
weeksl
ater
)
Ohhmyner vesareatshot,Icantbel
i
evewe
hereagai
nforthefi
nalverdictofmyhealt
h,my
bodyisli
ter
all
yinshamblesandsweat y
.
Idi
dn'
ttel
lMi
keaboutt
oday,
Iwant
edt
obet
he
fi
rstonetogett
heresul
tssot
hatIcanmakea
decisi
onbymyself
.
DrKhoza:
MrsDi
mba!
!
Hesai
dcomi
ngbackf
rom t
hel
abt
ogetmy
r
esul
ts.
Me:
Whatdot
heysay
?
DrKhoza:
Uhhht
heynegat
ive.
Me:
ThatmeansIdonothav
eit,
ri
ght
?
DrKhoza:
(laughs)Yesi
tmeanst
hat.
Me:Mhhokay,
soIdonthav
etot
aket
hat
medi
cat
ionanymore.
?
DrKhoza:
MrsDi
mbar
elax,
youar
eokay.
Itookabout2minutest
ryi
ngtoabsorbt
his,
I
guessIhavebeeninsuspensef
oralongti
me.
Me:
Alr
ightt
hen,
bye.
Isai
dj umpi
ngofthechai
randleav
ing,Idr
ove
str
aighttot
hehouseandIfoundallt
hekidsin
t
heki
tchen.
Nel
i
:Mama!
!
Me:
Heybaby
(ki
ssi
nghercheek)
Theboy
sdidn'
tevenseemebecauset
heywer
e
busywi
tht
heirgames.
Me:(t
oLeboandLer
ato)Gi
rl
stakecar
eofy
our
si
bli
ngsnehh,
wewil
lbebusyforawhi
le
upst
air
s.
Lebo:
Ewwwwdi
sgust
ing,
pl
easespar
eus.
Ler
ato:
Justgot
uuu.
Me:Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng,
yout
wohav
erot
ten
mi
nds.
Isaidr unni
ngupt hestai
rs,t
heywereright
thoughbecauseI '
m abouttogetbusyforreal
.
I
walkedi ntoourbedroom andMikewas
Sleepingonhi sback,Icr
awledontopofhim
sit
tingonhi slapunbuckl
inghisbeltandhe
sli
ghtlyopenedhisey es
Mi
ke:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngbabe?
Me:
Aboutt
ohav
esexwi
thmyhusband.
Mi
ke:
Whataboutt
he.
..
..
Me:(ki
ssi
nghi
m)nev
ermi
ndt
hat,
j
ustf
uckme
okay!!
.
Tobecont
inued.
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
69cont
inued
.
.
.
Heoverpoweredmegett
ingont
opofme
,put
ti
ngmyhandsabov emyheadwhi
l
eihad
mylegsaroundhi
swaist.
Mike:
Youaresuchapr
edat
or,
cal
m down
.What'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Canwedot
het
alki
ngaf
ter.
Mi
ke:
Nowehav
ingi
tnow!
!
arggggMikei ssuchamoodki l
ler,
whenyou
wanttohav esexy oudon'
tneedtohavet
hese
conversat
ions.
Me:
Argg,
getof
fofmet
hen!
Helaidbackont
hebedandIsatupf
ixi
ngmy
cl
othes.
Mike:Ly
nnIwoul dlovet
omakel ovetoy
oubut
youcantjustpopinandundressmewi thout
t
ell
ingmeany thi
ng.Yousti
ll
havere-t
est
.
Me:I
tdoesn'
tmat
terany
mor
e,y
ouki
l
ledmy
mood.
Mi
ke:
ButIhav
etoknowwhati
sgoi
ngon.
Me:
Igott
her
esul
tsbackandIdonothav
eHI
V.
Mi
ke:
Excusemewhat
?
Me:
Idonothav
eHI
V.
Mi
ke:
Letmegett
hisst
rai
ght
,wehav
ebeeni
n
t
hissincethebegi
nni
ngbutnowwhenyouget
y
ourfinal
resul
ts,y
oudonottel
lme?Whyi
s
t
hat?
Me:
Ijustwant
edt
obet
hef
ir
stonet
oknow
t
hem .
Mike:Ohhsoi
ftheyhadcomeback
Posit
ive,
whatwouldyouhav
edone?
Me:I
tdoesn'
tmatterany
mor
e,t
hef
acti
sthey
camebacknegat
ive.
Mi
ke:
Youdi
dn'
tanswermyquest
ion.
Me:Idontneedt
oo,
can'
tyouj
ustbehappy
aboutt
his?
Mike:Iam happyt
rustmebutIcanthel
pfeel
l
ikehadtheycameoutposit
iveyouwouldn'tbe
herer
ightnow.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat
?
Mike:Li
li
anyoudidntt
ell
meabouty
our
doctor
'sappoi
ntmentbecausey
ouwant
edt
o
makeadecisi
onaboutushadthey
'vebeen
posi
ti
ve,
tel
lmeifI
'm wrong.
Istoodsti
l
lnotavoidi
nghisey econt
act
becausewhathewassay ingwasactual
lytrue
,Hewasst i
lll
ayi
ngonhi sback,Icouldt
ell
by
thechangeinhistonethatthi
swasupsetti
ng
him,hi
sangerwasaboutt oexplode.
Me:
I..
.I
..
di.
..
Mi
ke:Ohhwow,sothat
'st
hef
ait
hyouhav
ein
meandinourmar
ri
age?
Me:
Mikecanwepl
easenotf
ightaboutt
his.
?
Mike:Iam notf
ight
ingwi
thy
ou,
youar
ethe
oneinsti
gati
ngit.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Hejustl
ookedatmeandgr abbedhi
sphone
andwalkedout,
greatnowhe'sangr
y.
Isi
ghedi
nfr
ust
rationgoi
ngdownstai
rstothe
ki
dsandwhenIreachedt
heki
tchenMikecame
outwit
hhiscarkeysandhewalkedoutwi
thout
sayi
nganythi
ng.Thegir
lsl
ookedatmebutI
wasnotgoingtoansweranyt
hing.
Lebo:
Ithoughty
ouwer
ebusy?
Me:IwasbutnowI
'
m aboutt
ocookwi
thy
our
hel
p.
Ler
ato:
Great
,sowhatar
ewemaki
ng?
Me:I
'
mi nt
hedoghousesoIhav
etomakehi
s
f
avor
it
eevent
houghIhat
eit
.
Thegi
rl
sbot
hlaughedl
ooki
ngatme.
Lebo:
Iknewi
t,t
hewayhewal
kedout.
Me:Okay,
Ineedtocall
maMar t
hasoshecan
hel
pmewiththi
sTripeandSampofhi
s.
Ler
ato:
Weal
soeat
ingt
hat
?
Shesai
dwi
thadi
sgust
edf
ace.
Me:
youguyscancookwhatevery
ouwantbut
meontheot
herhandIhav
et oswall
owi
tas
har
dasi
tmaybe.
Lebo:t
hati
swhyIam nev
erget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed,
al
l
thi
s?
Me:(
laughing)thenyouwil
ldiealone,
marri
age
i
sagoodt hi
ngbaby. I
tsni
cealsoknowingthat
youhavesomeonewhowi llbetheref
oryou
andprotectyouatallt
imes.Thatmanhasbeen
myherof rom dayone.
Lebo:
Buty
ouhav
etoeatt
hingsy
oudon'
tl
ike?
Me:Wellt
herear
ecompromi
sest
o
ev
eryt
hing,andt
hisi
soneoft
hem .
Mnqobi
:MamaMj
needsanappychange.
Me:
Whydonty
ouchangehi
m?
Mnqobi
:youhi
smot
hernotme.
Me:Iknewy
ouwer
egoi
ngt
oanswert
hat,
l
et'
s
go.
(
2hour
slat
er)
Thef oodi sdoneandt hekidsarealltuckedin
bedandIhav ethi
snicedinnersetformeand
Mike, althoughwithsuchsetti
ngy ouwoul d
thi
nkI 'dhav eamazingfoodbutIhav ethewor st
.Iknowwhyhei sangrywithmesoIneedt o
apologi zebecauseIwaswr ong. Ihaven'tworn
l
ingeriei nalongti
mebutIhav etotoday.
ThedoorswingopenandIl ookedathi
m sit
ti
ng
ontopofthetable,
hi
sey espoppedoutI'
m
guessingbecauseoftheli
ngeri
e.He'sal
ready
drool
ingsoI'
m winni
ng.
Hewal
kstowar
dsmeandst
andsbet
weenmy
l
egsbr
ushi
ngupmyar
ms.
Mi
ke:
Youhav
en'
twor
nthi
sinawhi
l
e.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryaboutwhatIdi
dtoday.
Mike:
I'
ll
showy
ouhowwr
ongy
ouwer
eri
ght
now!
Hesaidki
ssingmyneck,
touchi
ngal
lovermy
bodywell
thatwasbef
orehemesmerizedi
na
wel
lknownsmel
l
.
Mi
ke:
Babydi
dyour
eal
l
ycookTr
ipe?
Me:I
tsyourf
avor
it
esoIhadt
omakepeace
wi
thyou.
Mike:
AsmuchasIl
ovei
t,l
et'
sputi
tinthe
f
ri
dgeIhav
eabett
ermealt
hatIwanttoeat.
Me:
Andwhati
sthatmeal
Sir
?
Mike:I
tsaspeci
alki
nd,
youwi
l
lknowsoon
enough.
Hesai dtaki
ngt hebowl swi t
hfoodput ti
ngthem
i
nt hefri
dgeandbl owsoutt hecandles,hepicks
meupandIwr apmyl egsandar msar oundhim
.Wewal kupstai r
skissingallovereachot her
andwhenwer eachourbedr oom hel ocksthe
doorpinningmeagai nstitwhil
etakingoffmy
l
ingeri
el eavi
ngmebar enaked.Het rai
lssoft
ki
ssesdownmybodyunt i
lhegetsonhi sknees
placi
ngbot hmyl egsonhi sshoul
dersandIf elt
histongueplayingwi thmycl i
tmakingme
i
nstantlymoanf rom thepleasure. Hepushes
met othewal lwit
hhishandswhi l
eeat i
ngme
outli
keI'm hi
slastmeal .
Thei ntensityofhi
s
tongueisupt onogamesasIf eelmybody
shakingasI'm abouttoblowup. Hebi t
esmy
cli
tmakingmescr eam duri
ngmyor gasm .
He
l
icksmecl eanandst andsupcomi ngbackt o
myf acemakingmest andonmyownbutmy
l
egsf eelj
ell
y.
Mi
ke:
yout
ast
egood!
!
Me:
Letmet
ast
eit.
Isai
dki
ssi
nghi
m andmoani
ngf
rom t
het
ast
e
ofmyvagi
na.
Hewal kedusovert
othebedwhilekissi
ng,I
satdownattheedgeofthebedtaki
ngof fhi
sT-
shi
rtbr
ushinghi
smuscleswhil
ehet akeshis
Jean'
sandIsmileseei
nghisharddick.
Hepi
cksmeupthr
owingmeint
hemi
ddl
eof
t
hebedhov
eri
ngontopofme.
Imoanasheputhi
stipon,t
henhebendsdown
ki
ssi
ngmewhileput
ti
ngital
lin.
Hestart
smov i
ngv
eryslowmakingmefeel
ev
eryinchofhi
mthrust
ingdeepi
ntome.
Wemadeloveforhour
s,hehadmeinev
ery
posi
ti
onpossi
bleandIwasinheav
en
[
04/
27,
22:
19]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT70
Li
l
ian
"
Cany
ouguy
spl
easef
ini
shupwewi
l
lbel
ate!
!"
ThatwasLeboscreamingfrom downst
air
s,the
ki
dshav ebeenr
eadyforawhi l
ebutIonthe
otherhand,
Ihav
eapestt hatkeepson
di
sturbi
ngme.
Khay
a'sweddi
ngst
art
sinanhourandi
seri
ousl
yneedtogetready,
iwanttomeett
he
bri
debefor
eitst
art
s.Ihaven'
thadti
metomeet
herduetomybusymom/ wif
eduti
es.
Me:
(pushi
nghi
m)Getof
f,wer
eal
l
yneedt
ogo!
!
Isai
dgetti
ngoutofhi
sgri
p,wehavebeen
makingoutfort
hepast30minut
es.
Mike:
Icant,
hav
eyouseenhowbeaut
if
uland
sexyyouar
e?
Me:Mikehowlonghavewebeent
oget
her
?Isi
t
onl
ynowthaty
ounotici
ng?
Mike:
You'v
ealwaysbeenthoset
hingsbutnow
youareonanot
herlev
el.
Me:I'
m guessi
ngsoismyv agi
na,
becauseyou
hav
ebeenwear ingmeoutt
heenti
retwoweeks
.
Iwal
kedi
ntot
hebat
hroom f
ixi
ngmyhai
rand
makeup.
Mi
ke:
(smi
rks)Dontactl
i
key
oudontenj
oyi
t
,
andbesi
deshal
fthet
imey
oui
nit
iat
emyl
ove.
Me:(
laughs)Thati
ssonott
rue,
younotget
ti
ng
any
thingtoni
ght.
Mike:
AhhathedayImar
ri
edyou,youpl
edged
tobemylawful
wife,
soi
tsagai
nstthel
awto
denymemydesert.
Me:Aret
heseshoesokayorshoul
dIt
ryt
hese
ones?
isai
dshowinghimtwopai
rsofshoesandil
ove
hissenseofst
yleheal
way
schoosesthebest
.
Mi
ke:
Nei
ther!
Me:
What
?
Mike:Youaskedmyopini
on,justt
ryt
hesi
lv
er
ankledones,
theywil
lgoper
fectl
ywit
hyour
dressandreveal
yourcut
etoes.
Hesaidnotev enl
ooki
ngatme,fi
xi
nghisti
e.I
tr
iedtheshoehesaidIshoul
danditwas
perf
ect,seetheJoy'
sofhavi
ngapartner.
Me:
Theymor
eni
cerbabe,
thanky
ou.
Mike:
Andyoul
ookamazi
ng,
manwi
l
lbe
dr
ooli
ngov
eryou.
Me:
I'
ll
besur
etot
aket
hei
rnumber
ssi
r.
Isai
dfl
i
cki
ngmyhai
r.
Mi
ke:
Ify
ouwantt
hem t
odi
e.
Me:Remembery
oupr
omi
sed,
nodr
amat
oday
r
ight
?
Mike:YesIdi
dbuti
fhet
ri
est
ost
artI
'
llbe
wait
ing.
Me:Ar
ggl
et'
sgobef
orewegetki
l
ledbyt
hese
r
ats.
Mike:Thi
snamecal
l
ingy
ouhav
eont
heki
dsi
s
hi
l
ar i
ous.
Wewal
keddownst
air
swi
thhi
m hol
dingmy
pur
se.
ki
ds:
Wow!
!
l
erat
o:Youl
ookamazi
ngmo-auntLi
l
y.
Shesai
dlooki
ngdown,I
'
m guessi
ngbecause
sheal
mostsaidmom t
ome.
Lebo:
Trustyout
obemor
ebeaut
if
ulandsexy
morethanthebr
ide!
!
Me:Iam not,
wenay
oual
way
smeanext
ra
per
son.
Mnqobi
:Let
'sgo,
Iwantt
oeatt
hecakef
ir
st.
Mi
ke:
Yesmyboy
,butIwantt
oseemybabi
esI
mi
ssthem.
Il
ookedathim andsmi
rked,
justaminuteago
hewashappyt hatt
het
winsandMj ar
ewi t
hhis
motherbecausewedontgetint
err
upti
ons.I
al
somi ssedthem t
oo.
Mike:
Theygoi
ngtowanttobewi
thy
ou,
you
wontenj
oymuchoftheweddi
ng.
Me:yesIwil
l
,rememberIhav
eamotherinlaw
t
hatadoresme. Shehast
wonannyf
ortodayto
t
akecar
eoft
hem .
Mi
ke:
Luckyy
ou,
l
et'
sgetgoi
ngguy
s.
Weal lgoti
nsi
det hecaranddr ov
et owherethe
weddingwast akingplaceandguest swere
arr
ivi
ngandIwi llnotli
et heplacelooked
amazing.Wewal kedt othebackwher et
he
famil
ywasandNel icamer unningtome. Igave
Mikemypur seandpi ckedNeli up.
Me:
Heypr
incess,
youl
ooksocut
e!!
Nel
i
:Gogogav
eitt
ome.
Me:
Didy
ousayt
hanky
ou.
Nel
i
:Yes,
Imi
ssedy
ou!
Me:
Imi
ssedy
oumor
ebaby
.
Isaidpl
aci
ngherdownbecausesomeonewas
alsodemandi
ngmyattent
ion,
ItookMjfr
om his
seaterandhequi
ckl
ywantedtogotomyf ace
butheisnotr
uini
ngmymakeup.
Mi
ke:
Itol
dyout
hiswoul
dhappened.
Mari
a:(
walksi
n)Lookwhodecidedt
oshowup
,30minut
eslat
ertothesett
ime.
Mi
ke:
Mot
hergooddayt
oyout
oo.
Mar
ia:
Andpl
easedontusemygr
andki
ds.
Me:
Youl
ookcl
assy
Mari
a:Mhhni
cet
ry,
Ial
readyknowI
'
m cl
assy
.Comewit
hmetomeetAlici
a.
Me:
Alr
ight
,Mi
kepl
easet
akehi
m.
IhandedMj t
oMikeandi wal
kedt
oKi
ssSi
ya'
s
for
eheadbecauseiknowhewontcome
j
umpi ngatmeli
keNeli.
Mar
iaandIwalkedint
oaco-j
oini
ngroom wher
e
t
hebri
deissupposetobe,
Icouldn'
tseeher
f
acebutt
hedresswasbeauti
ful.
Mari
a:Kot
i,her
eisyoursi
sterwi
febutone
t
hingyoushoul
dknowi st
hatshe'
salwayslat
e.
Shet
urnedaroundandmyfaceturnedred
i
mmediatel
y,whil
eshepoppedhereyesout.
Bot
h:You!
!!
Me:
wowt hi
sear
thneverl
ovedmeifIam goi
ng
t
obeint
hesamef ami
l
ywi t
hthi
str
amp.
Mar
ia:
Whoahh,
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Ali
ci
a:Wehavemetbef
oreandLi
l
iant
heonl
y
tr
ampi r
ememberi
syounotme.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
an!
!
Me:Idonothav
eti
mef ort
his,i
nfacti
thi
nkI
mi
ghtjustt
akemykidsandleave.
Mari
a:Thati
snothappeni
ng,
whatwil
lhappen
i
sthatyouwil
lexpl
aint
omethebeefbetween
youtoo.
Me:
ShewasVuyo'
sgi
rl
fr
iendwhenher
obbed
meofmycompany
.
Mar
ia:
Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Me:
Nev
ermi
ndma,
I
'l
lbeatt
hef
ami
l
yroom.
Iwasaboutt
owal
koutwhenshet
alked.
Ali
ci
a:Lil
ianlookwearegoi
ngtobeinthesame
famil
yandIdontwantanytensi
onbetweenus
wit
htheal r
eadyexi
sti
ngonebet
weenour
husbands.
Me:
Ibel
i
eveI
'
mtheonewhohasahusband.
Al
ici
a:Poi
nttaken,butwhathappenedbetween
uswasalongtimeagoandy ouforgaveVuyo
whycanty
ouf or
giv
eme. ?
Me:(l
aughs)Thatsoundssocheap,If
orgav
e
hi
m becauseheapol ogi
sedandyouonthe
ot
herhandhavenev er.
Al
i
cia:
Iam sor
ryt
hen.
Me:
Thatwasr
eal
l
ysi
ncer
e(mocki
ngv
oice)
Mari
a:Wewi
l
lsor
tthisoutaf
ter,
ri
ghtnowwe
hav
eaweddi
ngtostart
.
Me:
Alr
ight,
l
etmeseet
heki
dsf
ir
st.
Maria:
Thoseki
dswon'
tdieadaywi
thouty
ou
,Thabi
sasai
dshe'
sonherway.
Me:Alr
ight
,myki
dshavebeenwit
hyouf
ort
he
pastt
hreeday
ssoImissedthem.
Ali
ci
a:Idontknowhowy
oucopewi
tht
hreeki
ds
,Iwoul
dn't
.
Me:
Tryhav
ing8t
henwewi
l
ltal
k.
Isaidwal kingout, Ihonest l
ywasl ooking
forwardt oasi sterwi febutnowIam notso
sure,thisgirli
snotev enremor sefulofwhatshe
didbutIam notgoi ngt obepet tyaboutit,i
fshe
want stopl ayliket hisI'm game. West art
ed
gatheringar oundandwhenev eryonewas
seatedt hemusi cst artedplayingandweddi ng
start
ed, everythingwasni cet heyr eall
yseem in
l
ov ewi theachot herandt hei
rv owscutr eal
deep, alt
houghMi kejustst arr
edatt hem
withoutshowi nganyi nterestinwhatwasgoi ng
on.
Therecept
ionisal
soniceandpeoplear
e
mingl
ingwellanddanci
ng,Iam al
i
ttl
efl
ushed
though.Mi keistalkt
osomef amilymembers
andIwal kedtot hebacktogetsomefreshai
rin
thegarden. Al
lthosedif
fer
entcheapperf
umes
areaff
ect i
ngme.
?
??:
Mhhonewoul
dsweary
out
hebr
ide!
It
urnedar
oundanditwasTerry,
Ihav
en'
tseen
hi
mi nawhil
eandIdidn'
tknowhewashere.
Me:Heyst
ranger(
hugs)Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouwer
e
her
e.?
Ter
ry:
HowcanInot, whenIrecei
vedt
he
i
nvi
tat
ion?I
'm ki
ddingIhel
pedkhayai
nthepast
sowesortoffri
endsinaway.
Me:
Youcameal
one?
Terr
y: Yep,
mywi feandIar
egoi
ngt
hrough
separati
onrightnow.
Me:
Real
l
y?Why
?
Ter
ry:
Ireal
l
ydontknowbutsheki
ckedmeout.
Me:
Andy
oul
eft
?
Ter
ry:
WhatwasIsupposedt
odo?
Me:
Beghert
ost
ay.
Terr
y:Thandyismoodyashel
landIdon'
tfeel
l
ikeenter
tai
ningher
.
Me:
Youusedt
oent
ert
ainmi
ne.
Terr
y:Youlookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ulr
ightnowand
sexytoo.
Me:
Stopwi
thy
oursl
ycomment
s.
Ter
ry:
Iam notbei
ngsl
y,
your
eal
l
yar
e.
Hesai
dcomingcl
osert
omeandIknewwhat
wasgoi
ngonbutIcoul
dn'
tmov
e,i
tsl
ikeIfr
oze
f
oraminute.
Hepull
edmetohi
m usi
nghisarm
t
hisi
swrong.
Me:mhhokay,
Iseey
ouhav
ehadacoupl
eof
dr
inks!
Ter
ry:
Iam notdr
unk,
I
'm wel
lawar
eofwhatI
'
m
doi
ng.
Me:
Thenyouwouldknowit
'swr
ong,
you
mar
ri
edandI'
m marr
ied.
Terr
y:Youkeept
alki
ngbuty
oust
il
li
nthesame
posi
ti
on.
Hesai
dmaki
ngmeawar eofourposi
ti
on,
I
r
emovedmyheadf
rom hi
sneck.
Me:
Ter
r.
..
Icoul
dn'
tfi
nishmysent enceasheki
ssedme
andagai
nIfrozeandIdontknowwhattook
overmebutIkissedhi
m back.

[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT71
Li
l
ian
Imoanasheput shi
stongueinand
i
mmedi at
elyhedoesthatIpushhi
m away
real
i
zingwhatIwasdoing.
Me:
Whatar
ewedoi
ng?
Ter
ry:
Thi
s!!
Hesai
dwant
ingt
oki
ssmeagai
nbutIwav
edi
t
of
f.
Me:No, t
hiswasami st
akethatwasnot
supposedt ohappenanditwil
lnev
erhappen
agai
n.
Ter
ry:
Butwebot
henj
oyedi
t!
Me: Thatdoesn'
tmatt
er,
Mikecannotknow
aboutthisandyouandIar
eneverdiscussi
ng
thi
s.
Ter
ry:
YouknowIsomet
imest
hinkabouty
ou.
Me:Thenstop,t
hisi
sweir
d.YouknewIl
i
ked
youbackthenbutyouonl
ysawmeasaf ri
end
,whatchangednow?
Ter
ry:
Youhav
echanged,
youi
ntoxi
cat
ing.
Me:Ithi
nkthi
sal l
happenedbecauseyouand
Thandyaregoingthr
ougharoughpatchsolet
's
for
getaboutthis.
Ter
ry:
Icant,
Li
li
anIl
ovey
ouokay
.
Ipoppedmyeyesoutwhenhesai
dthatandhe
l
ookedseri
ous.
Me:OkayIthi
nkt
hat
'smycuet
ogetbackt
othe
r
ecept
ion.
Isaidfi
xi
ngmysel fasfl
ushedasIam bywhat
hejustsaid.
Iwalkedbackint
otherecept
ion
butIcouldnotspotwhereMikewas,Ineeda
glassofwinemay bet
hatwill
cal
m myner ves
down.
?
??:
Yousur
eknowhowt
odi
sappear
!!
It
urnedar
oundanxi
ousonl
ytobemetbyMar
ia.
Me:
Ma,
Idi
dn'
tseey
out
her
e!!
Mar
ia:
Iknowy
oudi
dn'
t,
Whatdi
dyoudo?
Shesai
dgi
vi
ngmeaser
iousl
ook.
Me:
Excuseme?
Maria:Dontexcuseme,gui
lti
swri
tt
enallov
er
yourface.Ihopewhatev
eriti
shasnot
hingto
dowi t
hy ourbeefwi
thal
ici
a.
Me:MaIdi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng,
Iwontwast
emy
br
eat
honAli
cia.
Mar
ia:
Alr
ight,
wher
eist
hathusbandofy
our
s?
Me:
uhhIt
houghthewasi
nsi
de.
Mar i
a:Wellheisnother
e,hedi
sappear
ed
shortl
yaftery
oudidsoIthoughyouguyswer
e
together
.
Me:
UhhhIdi
dn'
tseehi
m,l
etmecal
lhi
m.
Itookoutmyphonedial
ingMike'sphonebuti
t
wasjustri
ngi
ng,t
hati
swei r
dMi kealways
answersmycall
sevenifhe'
sbusy .
Me:
Icantr
eachhi
m,may
behewenthome.
Maria:
Withouty
ou?If
indt
hathar
dtobel
i
eve
(
laughs)
Me: SodoI,butwheni
tinvol
vesKhay
ayoucan
expectany
thingfr
om Mike.
Mari
a:Your
ight,
tel
lhi
m Isai
donl
ywomanar
e
hor
monal.
Il
aughedatherst
atementbutsomethingwas
scar
ingmeabouthisdi
sappearance.
Me:I
'l
lgettheki
dsthenwecanl
eav
e,t
hat
'
sif
hel
eftthecarbehi
nd.
Mari
a:I
'
m notsur
eift
heywantt
oleav
e,t
hey
ar
etheoneswhosentmehere.
Me:
Theywantt
osl
eepaty
ourpl
ace?
Mar
ia:
Yesanddontwor
ryI
'
llt
akecar
eoft
hem .
Me:Iam notworr
iedatal
l,j
ustwonder
inghow
youwil
ldealwi
ththeser
ascalsaty
ourage.
Maria:
YewenaLil
i
an!!I
fIwasn'ti
napubli
c
spaceIwoul
dslapthepissoutofyou.
Icov
eredmymout hi
nlaught
erasshewalked
awayfrom meannoy
ed,Ihav
ethebestmother
i
nlawIswear.
Isaidgoodbyetothekidsandt heywerehappy
thattheyarest
ayi
ngbehi ndespecial
l
yMnqobi
whichIfailt
ounderst
andbecausehei st
he
mostspoi l
edoneofallthekids.
Ihonestlydonotknowwhati supwi thMike
becausehel ef
twi t
ht hecar,howmeandt he
ki
dswer esupposet ogohomeIhav enoIdea.I
cal
ledacabandi tdrovestraighttomyhouse,I
don'tknowwhyIwasget t
ingner v
ous,maybe
becauseIhav etoli
et omyhusbandbl at
antl
y.
Iwalkedi
nsi det hehouseandi twasdark,ohh
okaythenitmeanshei snothomebutt hen
whereishe? .Icall
edhisphoneagai nanditrang
ontopoft hecount er.Iwalkeduptoour
bedroom andhewasnott herebuthisclot
hes
werescatteredont hebed, Ichangedint
omy
sweatpant sandr emov edthewigof f.
Iwal
kedbackintothekitchen,Iwashungr
yI
di
dn'
tgettheti
met oev eneatattheweddi
ng
,t
hankheavensforlef
tovers.
AsIwasopeni
ngt
her
efr
iger
atorIhear
dMi
ke
comi
ng.
Mi
ke:
youback?
?
Hesaidsoundingsurpr
isedthatIwashome,
I
cl
osedtherefr
iger
atorl
ookingathim.
Me:
wasn'
tIsupposedt
ocomehome?
Mi
ke:
NoI
'
mjustsur
pri
sed,
wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Me:Youaski
ngme?Aft
ery
ouleftwi
ththecar
,howdi
dyouthi
nkt
heywer
egoingtocome
home.
Mike:Iwasnotevensur
ethei
rmot
herwas
cominghomeeither.
Me:
What
'st
hatsupposet
omean?
Mike:Youar
eonedgeanddefensi
ve,what'
s
goingon?It
houghtmaybey
ouwoul dstayover
t
her
e.
Me:Ihavemyownhouse,
I
'm notonedge.
Why
di
dyouleaveear
ly?
Mike:
Theweddi
ngwasdone,
sot
her
ewasno
needformet
other
e.
Me: Ohhhyoual
sodi
dn'
tseet
heneedt
oinf
orm
yourwife?
Mike:YouseemedbusysoIdidn'
twanttorui
n
t
hef unf
oryou,Iwasaboutt
ocall
youthough.
Me:
Ohhokay
Mi
ke:
Iwi
l
lbei
nmyst
udyi
fyouneedme.
Hesai dwalki
ngawayanddi sappearsintothe
stairs,
somethi
ngisof fabouthim andi fhe
knewaboutwhati didhewoul dn'
tbelikethis
,hewoul dberagi
ngbuthe' scalm, t
heki ndof
calm Idonotappreciate.Thewayhi stonewas
andhowhest r
uct
ur edhisquest i
onslooking
directl
yatmewhenIr espond.Mhhhowam i
goi
ngt
odeal
wit
hthi
s?
.
Tobecont
inuedl
atert
oday
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
Inser
t71cont
inued
.
.
(
fol
l
owi
ngday
)
Idrowslywakeupf
rom myslipandr
ubmyeyes
,Ifr
eezeasIseeMikestandi
ngonmysidewi
th
hishandsinhi
spocket
sopeninghol
esi
nmy
face.
Ishi
ftandsi
tupbuthei
ssti
lli
nthesame
posi
ti
on,hesnotev
enbl
inki
ngbutIdontsee
vei
nsofanger.
Me:
Arey
ouokay
?
Mi
ke:
Yes,
why
?
Me:
Thewayy
oul
ooki
ngatme.
Mike:Iwasjustadmir
ingthebeaut
yofmywi
fe
,I
'mtheluckiestmanali
veandIwouldki
l
l
anyonethatcancomebet weenus.
Ichokedonhi
sl astwords,caughinghar
dand
hegrabbedaglassofwat ergiv
ingitt
ome, I
dontknowhowbutIt hi
nkheknowsaboutwhat
happenedbetweenmeandTer r
ybutifhedi
d
hewouldn'
tbethiscalm.
Me:
Thanks
Mike:
I'
ll
beheadi
ngoutt
oday,
I
'l
lfet
cht
heki
ds
f
rom mymother'
s.
Me:Okay,
thanksal
thoughI
'
llbebor
edal
lby
mysel
f.
Mike:I
'
m surey
ouwi
l
lfi
ndsomet
hingt
odo,
I
'l
l
seeyoulat
er.
Hesaidkissi
ngmyCheekwhi chisweir
d
becauseheneverdoesthat,
healwayssays
whyshouldhekissmycheekwhenhehas
accesstomylipsbutIguesstodayhei
snot
i
nter
est
edi
nthem .
Het ookhiswall
etandcarkeysandleft,
l
eav
ing
mest unned.Ineedtokeepconvi
nci
ngmysel f
thathedidnotseemeandTer ryki
ssing
becauseifhedidI'
m dead.
Ther ei sbasicall
ynothingtodoi nthi
shouse
whent hekidsar enothere, Itookashowerand
cleanedar oundt hewhol ehouse, thefami ly
por tr
aitsroom wasopenwhi chisalsorar e,he
onlygoest herewhenheneedst ocalm down,
myphoner ingedasIwasaboutt ogoi nhis
office,itwasTer renceandIhav ebeeni gnoring
hiscal l
s.Ideclinethecallbutaf ewseconds
l
at eramessagecomest hrough"I'm outside
yourhouse"
Iscream i
nf r
ust r
ati
onasIr andownst air
s
headingoutsideandt hankGodt here'
sno
guardstoday. Iusedtheremotet oopent he
gateandindeedhi scarwaspar kedatt hegate
,heroll
edhiswi ndowdown.
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Ter
ry:
Icamet
oseey
ousi
ncey
ounott
aki
ng
mycall
s.
Me:Youknowexact
lywhyI
'
m nott
aki
ngy
our
cal
l
s.
Ter
ry:
Geti
n.
Me:
Forwhat
?
Ter
ry:Okaythat
'sf
inei
fyouwantt
hewhol
e
nei
ghborhoodtowatchyou.
Il
ookedaroundandhewasr i
ghtal
thoughwe
l
iv
ei nhi
ghplacesthesebi
tchesarenosy,I
walkedt
otheot hersi
deandgotin.
Ter
ry:
Thatwasn'
thar
d,wasi
t?
Me:
Shutup,
I
'm noti
nthemood.
Ter
ry:
(st
art
sthecar
)Hav
eyou.
..
Me:
Whyar
eyoudr
ivi
ng?
Ter
ry:
I'
mtaki
ngy
ousomewher
e.
Me:Ter
rencehaaa,
Idontwantt
ogoany
wher
e
wi
thyou.
Ter
ry:
Justr
elaxokay,
Ipr
omi
sey
ouwi
l
llov
eit.
Me:
Iwi
l
lnot
,nowt
urnback.
Ter
ry:Iam notdoingt
hat,
didy
out
hinkabout
whatIsai
dl astni
ght?
Me:Theresnoneedformetothinkabouti
t,I
l
ovemyhusbandandIwouldn'tdoanythi
ngto
j
eopardi
zeourmarri
ageandhappiness.
Ter
ry:
Sot
hef
actt
hatIl
ovey
oudoesn'
tmat
ter
?
Me:
Idon'
tneedyourlov
e,Igetenoughand
mor
eofitf
rom MikeandI'
m happywitht
hat.
Hestayedquietaft
erIsaidt hatandcontinued
dri
vi
ngandt owher eheisdr i
vingIdontknow. I
meantwhatIsai dthough,IloveMikeandI
wouldn'
tri
skl osi
nghiml i
ket hisandinfactI
shouldj
ustbehonestandt ell
him what
happened.
Hedr
ovei
ntoar
anchsor
toff
arm house.
Me:
Whatar
ewedoi
ngher
e?
Ter
ry:
Youwi
l
lsee.
Me:Quit
efr
ankl
yI'
m noti
nter
est
edi
nthi
s,can
yout
akemetomyhouse?
Ter
ry:
Wear
eher
enow,
comeout
.
Me:Youshoul
datl
eastopent
hedoorf
orme
youdogsi
nceyouf
orci
ngmehere.
Hej
ustl
aughedandcamet
omysi
det
oopen
t
hedoorf
orme.
Ter
ry:
Okaycany
oupl
easest
opbei
ngangr
y?
Me:Let
'sgetoverwhat
evert
hisi
ssot
hatIcan
gohomeplease.
Ter
ry:
Youar
esor
ude,
fol
l
owme.
Ifol
lowedbehindhim andheopenedthedoor
andIcouldn'
thelpbutlaughatt
hesightofa
stat
uethatweoncebr okeinNewYor k
becauseweweredrunktogetherandwewer e
suedformil
l
ions,
andnowt hatIthinkaboutitI
wouldhavebeenabil
li
onair
eifIdidn'tl
osethat
money .
Terry
:Atl
ongl
asty
oul
augh,
Ist
il
lbl
amey
ouf
or
that.
Me:(
laughs)Iam nott
obl
ame,
yougotme
dr
unkr emember?
Terry:
Andy ourdrunkasswantedtoknowhow
apenisofast at
uef el
tli
keandyouendedup
breaki
ngitoff.
Me:Iwasdr
unkokay
,mymi
ndwaspl
ayi
ng
gamesonme.
Terry
:Goodexcuse,
weusedt
ohav
efunback
then.
Me:
yeahhev
enwheny
oubr
okemyl
eg?
Ter
ry:
(laughs)I
twasami
staket
hough.
Me:
Mist
akemyass,
i
sther
eany
thi
ngt
odr
inki
n
t
hisGodf
orsakenpl
aceofy
our
s?
Ter
ry:
Hel
pyour
sel
fint
hef
ri
dge.
Me:
Youl
i
veher
enow?
Ter
ry:Yep,
thi
spl
aceischi
l
ledandsoperfectf
or
whatI(comesbehi
ndmeont hefr
idge)wantt
o
do.
Me:Stopit,
wear
enotdoi
nganyt
hing.
What
happenedwasamist
aket
hati
snothappeni
ng
agai
n.
Ter
ry:
Arey
ousur
e?
Hesai
dgr
abbi
ngmybut
t.
Me:
I'
m sur
e,pl
easest
op!
!
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT72
Li
l
ian
Iam offi
cial
l
yt hedumbestandbi ggestwhore
oftheuniverse,Icantbeli
eveIall
owedmysel f
todot hi
sagai naf
terIsworetonev ercheat
againespeciall
yonMi ke,t
hat'
sitI'
m dead.If
everther
ewasaquest ionofwhyhewoul dki
ll
me, t
hiswoul dbethereason.
Iunwrappedmysel
ffr
om hi
shol
dgett
ingout
ofthebedandhegr
abbedmyhand.
Ter
ry:
Pleasedon'
tl
eav
ejusty
et?
Me:
Cany
oupl
easest
ayqui
et?
Isai
dget
ti
ngdr
essedandl
ooki
ngf
ormyshoes.
Ter
ry:That
'si
t?Wegoi
ngt
ohav
esexandy
ou
i
gnoremenow?
Me: Thatworksforme.Idon'
twanttoendup
convinci
ngmy sel
fthatt
hiswasamistake
becausei twasnot.
Ter
ry:
I'
m gl
ady
ouagr
eeont
hat,
l
il
ywe.
..
Me:
Itwaspur
est
upi
dit
yandr
eckl
essness.
Ter
ry:
whatdoy
oumean?
Me: Amistakei
sdoingsomet hi
ngandnot
knowingitsconsequencesbutIhavedonet
his
beforeandIknowitsundesi
rabl
eoutcomes.
Ter
ry:
Thi
swasboundt
ohappen,
youandI
hav
ebeenat
tr
act
edtoeach.
..
.
Me:Stopitr
ightther
e,f
ory
oursafet
yletme
dealwit
hthi
st hewayIseehowbecauseifMi
ke
fi
ndsoutaboutthiswebothdead.
Terry:Iam nott
hreat
enedbyyourhusbandand
besideshecantchangethefeel
i
ngswehav e
foreachother.
Me:Ther
ear
enof eel
i
ngsinhere,
Gohomeand
f
ixthi
ngswi
thThandyokayandI'
l
lbedeal
i
ng
wit
hmyown.
Ter
ry:
(f
akel
aughs)Younotbei
ngser
ious?
Me:
Iam
Isai
drequest
ingauberandIt
iedmyhai
rand
wal
kedout,
inlesst
han5minutest
heuber
ar
ri
vedandthankst
othemoneyIalwayshav
e
onmyphonespouchIwasabletopay.
Igoti nsidet hehouseandi twasqui et,meani ng
Mi kewasnotbackwi ththekids. Iranupst airs,
I
needagoodshowert henmay beI '
l
l beabl eto
thinkst raightaboutawayf orwar dwi ththis.I
wal kedi nsidetheshowerandopenedt hehot
wat er.Ihav etwoopti
onsi nallthi
s,1)Icome
cleant oMi keabouteveryt
hingor2) Idonttell
mebutt heresar i
sktothat,hef i
ndsoutl aterby
himsel fandi nthatcaseIcansaygoodby et o
mymar riageandmyl i
fe.
Iam disgust edbywhatIdi dbutmostofal l
dissapoi nt
edi nmyself,t
hisissueofnotbeing
abletocont rolmy sel
far oundmani syetagai
n
todest roymyl if
e.Onewoul dthinkIwoul
dhav e
l
ear nedmyl essonfr
om theKagi soandVuyo
situati
onbutl i
kethefoolthatIam ,I
'
m backto
thatsituati
onagai n.
Iwalkouttheshowerdry i
ngmy sel
fand
l
oti
oning.Igotdressedinmygr eysweatpant
s
wit
habl ackT-shi
rtandwal keddownstai
rsto
st
artdinnersi
ncethekidsar ecomingback.
onmylastst
epoft
hestai
rst
hedooropened
andi
twasLeboandLer
ato.
Me:
Heygi
rl
s!!
Lebo:
Hi,
unj
ani
?
Ler
ato:
Hey
Me:
I'
m okay,
Ij
ustmi
ssedmyki
ds.
Isai
dhuggi
ngt
hem.
Lebo:
Itsbeenonl
yoneday.
Me:
Wher
ear
etheot
her
sandMi
ke?
Lebo:
Mnqobi
iswi
thhi
sdadr
emember
?
Me:
ohhIf
orgot.
Ler
ato:Uhhmm y
ourhusbandandy
ourot
her
ki
dsright?
Me:
Yeswher
ear
ethey
?
Lebo:Uncl
eMi kedidcomet ofet
chusbuthe
onlydr
oppedof fusatthegateandbecauseof
theevi
dentangerinhisfacewedidn'
taskwhy.
Me:
Anger
??
Iaskedi
nconf
usi
on.
Ler
ato:
Yes,hel
ookedr
eal
l
yangr
y.Di
dyouguy
s
haveafi
ght?
Me:
Nott
hatIknowof
f.
Lebo:Ohhokay,Ineedt
of i
nishof
fmy
assi
gnment.I
'l
lbeinmyr oom .
Ler
ato:
I'
ll
joi
nyou.
Me:
OkayI
'
llcal
lyouwhent
hef
oodi
sready.
Ineedtobeopt i
misti
candnotplayintot
he
negat
ivethoughtsI'
m havi
ngri
ghtnow. May
be
heisjusttaki
ngthem somewhereandhewillbe
backinjustafewmi nut
es..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
i
t'
sbeent wohoursandwealreadyhaddinner
andthegirl
sarei
ntheirr
oomsandt here'
sstil
l
nosi
ghtofMi keandmykids.Itr
iedhisphone
andi
tjustri
ngedwithnoanswer,heisignor
ing
me.Ical
ledmaMar iaandshepickedup.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
an!
Me:Himasorr
ytodi
stur
byout
hisl
ate,
i
sMi
ke
st
il
laty
ourpl
ace?
Mar
ia:
No,
Mikel
eftagesago.
Me:Ohhokay,
thati
sst
rangehehasnotcome
homewit
hthekids.
Mari
a:Didyouguy
sfi
ghtbecausehewasnot
hi
mselfwhenhecamehere,Ifidi
dn'
tknow
bet
teriwoul
dsayhewascryi
ng.
Me:
Nowedi
dn'
tfi
ghtorhav
eanar
gument
.
Mar
ia:
Alr
ightcal
lmewhenheget
sback.
Shedr
oppedt
hecal
landi
re-di
all
edMi
ke'
s
numberandhepi
ckedupbutbef
orehecoul
d
tal
kcr
iesoft
heki
dsreachedmyears.
Me:Whyi
sMjandNel
icr
ying?Wher
ear
eyou
wi
tht
heki
ds.
?
Mi
ke:
Whyar
eyoucal
l
ing?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanwhyam Ical
l
ing?
Mike:
Lil
ianIneedt
oputt
heki
dst
obedsoi
f
youdo..
.
Me:Putt
hem t
obed?Youar
enotont
hishouse
,Mzi
wonkewherear
emyki
ds?
Mi
ke:
Wit
hthei
rfat
her.
Me:Soy
oudroppedoffLeboandLer
atoand
l
eav
ewitht
heothers,
whyisthat?
Mi
ke:
WellIt
ookmyki
dsandt
hosear
enot
mi
nearet
hey?
Me:Took?Mi
kewhati
sgoi
ngon?Younot
maki
ngsense.
Mike:
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngyout
hatsi
nceyout
he
onewhori
ngaroundl
i
key
ounotamarri
ed
woman.
Ihel
dmychestasmybreat
hingst
art
edt
ori
se
,howdi
dheknow?I'
m dead.
Mi
ke:
Younol
ongerspeaki
ngnow.
?
Me:
Mikewher
ear
emyki
ds?
Mike: Nowyouworriedaboutthem ?Idont
recallyout
hisworr
iedwheny ouwer ekissi
ng
Terrenceinmybrothersweddingknowi ngver
y
wellIwasthereorthismorni
ngwheny ouhad
sexwi thhi
m.
IknowIseem li
keIdontcarebutrightnow
whatmat t
erstomei smykids,wheredidhe
takethem andhear
ingthem cr
yingthi
smuchis
kil
li
ngme.
Me:
Mi kepl
easebri
ngmyki
dsback,
l
ist
ent
o
t
hem cry
ingli
kethat.
Mike:
Youshoul
dn'
tworr
yyour
selfaboutmy
ki
ds,youhav
eTerr
encet
oworryabout.
Iwasbegi nningt
ocrynow,
Iknowhow
heart
lessMi kecanbeandi
fhe'
sgoingthe
chi
ldr
enr outethi
swontbegoodatall
.
Me:
Iwantmyki
dsMi
ke.
Mi
ke:
Thepaper
sshoul
dbet
her
etomor
row.
Me:
Whatpaper
s?
Mike:
Div
orcepapersandalet
terfr
om t
hecourt
al
l
owingmet ofi
ghtforf
ull
custodyofmykids.
Hesai dthendr oppedt hecal l
andIhonest l
y
di
dn'thav eanythingtosayaf tert
hat,
Icant
beli
evehewant sf ul
lcustodyofmyki ds.Imay
bewhat every ouwantt ocallmebuti fther
e's
onethingI '
m goodati sbei ngamot hertomy
ki
dsandnowhewant stot akethatawayf r
om
me?Thosear emyki ds, Icarri
edthem fornine
mont hsandal laloneont hetwinshewasnot
evenherenowhewant st otakethem ,
thatwi l
l
nev
erhappen.
Ineedt ocollectmyselfbacktogetherandst
op
cry
ingbecauset hi
sisnotgoingtohelpmei n
anything.i
tspr et
tyl
atebutIneedtof i
ndaway
tothis.Istoodupf r
om thefl
oordiali
ngXolil
e
myl awy er
.
Xol
i
le:
Lil
i
an,
ihav
en'
ttal
kedt
oyoui
nawhi
l
e.
Me: Iknow,I'
m sor
ryf
orcal
l
ingy
out
hisl
atebut
ineedy ourhel
p.
Xol
il
e:Dontsweati
t,I
'
m sti
l
lint
heof
fi
ce
any
way .Howcanihelp?
Me:Myhusbandi
sdi
vorci
ngmeandwantsful
l
cust
odyoft
hethr
eechi
l
drenishar
ewi
thhim.
Xol
il
e:Ohht
hat
'soutofnowher
e,onwhat
gr
ounds?
Me:
Cheat
ingf
rom mysi
de.
Xol
i
le:
That
'sabi
gadv
ant
agehehas.
Me:
Foradi
vor
ce?Yesbutf
ort
hecust
odyof
t
heki
dshel
lno.
Xol
il
e:Youhaveorknowsomethi
ngthatcan
pr
eventhi
mf r
om gett
ingt
hecust
odyofthe
ki
ds?
Me:
Letmecomeseey
out
omor
rowmor
ning.
Xol
i
le:
Alr
ight,
seey
out
hen.
Idroppedt hecal landsatdownont het able,
I
l
ov eMi kewi thallmyheartanditbreaksmy
hearttoseeusher eandknowingit
'smyf aul
t
butrightnowi dontcareheiscomi ngt omei n
awr ongdi recti
onofmyki dsandthati swherei
drawt heline,thosearemyki dsandt here'
sno
wayI '
m notgoi ngt obepartofthei
rli
v esandif
he'sfight
ingmet henletthegamebegi n.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT73
Li
l
ian
Igroanjumpingoffthebedf r
om t hehar
dand
roughknockingonthedoor, I
'm guessi
ngthe
gir
lsarealr
eadyatschool.Ist
rolldownstai
rs
sti
llmudgyfrom sl
eep.Iopenthedoorandi t
NandiwhoIhav en'
tseeni ntwomont hs.
Me:Ai
imanwhyar
eyouwaki
ngmeupt
his
ear
ly.
Sheshovedthenewspaperi nmychest
pushi
ngmeasi de,sheopenthef ri
dgetaki
ng
outabott
leofwaterwhileIpickedthepaperup
andIgaspedinshockbywhatIwasseei ng"
Marri
edbusinessmogulsLili
anKhumal oand
MikeDimbaheadingforaDivor ce"
Howdi dthisgett
othemedia,
Iscanned
throughtheart
icl
eandt
hankGodt her
ewas
nothingaboutmycheat
ingoranyt
hingwit
hthe
kids.
Nandi
:Tel
lmet
hati
snott
rue?
Me:
ThatI
'
m get
ti
ngadi
vor
ce?
IstoppedasInoticedanenv el
opeont opoft he
counter,
Igrabbeditandi twast hedivorce
papersandacour tordertoappeari ncour tf
or
thecustodybattl
eandt of i
nali
zethedi v
orce,
ohhwowIguessher eal
lywant snothingtodo
withmebecauseatt her ateheisgoi ngI'l
lbea
divor
cedwomanbyt heendoft heweek.
Me:Wel
lthatistrueandher
eismor
e(Igav
e
hert
hecourtorder)
Nandi:Tel
lmethisi
saj oke?Whathappened,
j
ustlastweekIwastalki
ngtoyouandyou
di
dn'tsayanyt
hingaboutyouandMikehavi
ng
pr
oblems.
Me:
That
'sbecausewewer
en'
t.
Nandi
:Justt
ell
mewhati
sgoi
ngon?
Me:Lookt
helastthi
ngIneedr i
ghtnowisyour
j
udgementokay,
Ineedt
of i
ndawayt ofi
ghtfor
mykids.
Mikecandowhat everbutnotmykids.
Nandi
:I'
m notgoingt
ojudgey
oubutIneedt
o
knowwhatisgoingon.
Me:LookIdi
ditagai
n,Icheat
edonhim and
nowhewantsadivor
ceandf ul
lcust
odyofhis
ki
ds.
Nandi
:Li
l
ian!
!whywoul
dyoudot
hat
?
Me:Idonthaveanexpl
anat
ionformybehav
iour
okaybutwhatIdoknowisheisnott
aki
ngmy
ki
dsfrom me.
Nandi:
Heisjustscar
ingyou,
hewi
llnev
ert
ake
yourki
dsfr
om youbecauseyouar
eagood
mother.
Me:Youclear
lydonotknowhowcol dhear
ted
Mikereal
l
yis,r
ightnowal
l hecaresabouti
shis
egoandnotwhatisbestforthekids.
Nandi
:Whodi
dyousl
eepwi
th?
Me:
Terrence,
Ineedt
ogetr
eadyt
oseemy
l
awyer.
Nandi
:Li
l
ian!
!
Me:
Notnowpl
ease.
Nandi:
Iwasnotgoi
ngtosayanyt
hing,Ij
ust
t
hinkMikeiscomi
ngatthi
sthewrongwayifhe
i
susingtheki
ds.
Me:Hei
snotget
ti
ngmyki
ds,
thatIwi
l
lmake
sur
eofi
t.
Nandi
:Whatdoy
oumeanbyt
hat?
Me: Justl
ikehe'
shadt
hesedi
vor
cepapers
readyalongtimeago,
icanal
sodi
scr
edithi
m
asaf i
tparent.
Nandi
:Hehadthesepaper
sev
enbef
orey
ou
guyswentt
hrought
his?
Me:
Yes,
heal
way
shadt
hem .
Nandi:
Youguysar
epull
i
ngoutallt
hecar
ds
,hav
ey oubot
hsaydownandt
alked?
Me:No,
hedidal
lthi
syest
erdayandIdon'
t
knowwher
emykidsareorift
heyar
eokay.
Nandi
:Doy
ouev
ent
aker
esponsi
bil
i
tyf
orwhat
youdi
d?
Me:Forcheat
ingyesbutwhenitcomest omy
chi
l
drenIdon'thav
etotakeresponsi
bil
i
tyfor
any
thi
ng.
Nandi:
Youhav
etounder
standt
hathei
sangr
y
r
ightnow.
Me: Angry?SureI'
l
l givehi
mt hatbuthowmany
ti
meshashemademeangr yandputmyl i
fe
andt heli
feofmyki dsindangerandIst ucked
withhim, hecheatedmor ethanonceandI
forgavehim butImakeonemi stakeandhei s
readyt ot
urnthewor ldupsi
dedown. Inever
usedt hekidsasabai tbet
weenusbuthei s
draggingmyki dsi
nt othi
s.
Nandi
:Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hat?
Me:
What?
Nandi
:Hol
dingy
ourt
ear
sback.
Me: Idontwanttocry,
Ibroughtal
lthi
sto
my sel
fallbecauseIcoul
dn'tcontr
olmyself
andy ouknowwhati fi
t'
sadivorcehewants
thenfinehecanhaveitbuthecanttakemy
kidsawayfrom me.
Nandi
:Youcantakeonany
thingbutIknowy ou
ar
emostv ul
ner
ablewhenitcomestoy ourki
ds
.
Me:Andheknowst
hat,
thati
swhyhei
sdoi
ng
t
his.
Nandi:
OkaygotakeyourshowerandI
'
llbe
makingyousomethi
ngtoeat.
Me:
Thanks.
Nandi
:CanIj
ustsayt
hisonet
hing?
Me:
Ifi
t'
saj
udgementpl
easedont.
Nandi:Youbothneedtoset t
let
hisamicabl
y
becauseift
hemedi acatchesal
lofthi
sthen
yourki
dswillbeaff
ectedbadly.
Ismil
edatherandwalkedoffupst
air
sandtook
myshower,Ifoundmyselfcr
yingi
ntheshower
i
tseem l
iketheonlypl
aceIfi
ndstr
engtht
o
rel
easemytears.
Icameoutt heshowerandj ustlai
dont hebed
withonlyat owelandmymi nddozeof ftodeep
thoughtaboutev eryt
hingt hathappenedand
whatwi ll
happenf rom hereonwar dsandy ou
knowwhatmay beIdeserveal lofthi
s,Imean
onlyafool candot hesamet hi
ngov erandover
again.Afterawhileoft hi
nkingIgotupand
dressedinal eggingandv estandheaded
downst ai
rs.
Nand:Andthen,
Ithoughty
ouwer
emeet
ing
yourl
awyer?
Me:
Changedmymi
nd.
It
ookmyphoneandcal
l
edXol
i
le.
Me:
Mor
ning!
Xol
i
le:
Mor
ning,
Isawt
hear
ti
cle.
Me: Sodi
dtherestofsout
hAfri
ca,
Ineedyout
o
cancelmyopposeinthecust
odybatt
le.
Xol
i
le:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Me:
I'
ll
giv
ehi
m whathewant
s.
Xol
i
le:
Arey
ousur
e?
Me:
Yes
IdroppedthecallandimmediatelyIdi
dIfel
tmy
tearsfal
li
ngdownandNandi cameandHugged
me, Ihonestl
ythoughtaboutthi
supstai
rsbut
nowIf eell
ikeI'
ml et
ti
ngmyki dsdown,li
keI'
m
givi
ngupont hem .
Nandi
:whyar
eyoudr
oppi
ngi
t.
?
IgrabbedapenandwhenIwasaboutt
osi
gn
thedivor
cepaper
sNandist
oppedme.
Nandi
:Youdontwantt
odot
his,
giv
eitt
ime.
Me:I'
m al
readylosi
ngmyki dssowhat
'
sthe
poi
ntofavoidi
ngtheinev
itabl
e.
Nandi
:Helpmeunder
stand,
whatchangedf
rom
anhouragoandnow.
Me: Theonl ywayofmedi scredit
ingMi keasa
fi
tpar enti
sifIdisclosehisil
l
egalact i
vit
ies
outsideofwor kandi fIdothathewi llprobably
got ojailf
oralongt imeandIknowi tshar dto
bel
iev ebutIloveMi keandIdon' tthinkIcan
l
ivefreelyknowingt hatIam responsibleforhim
notbei ngwithhi
sf amilyandt hekids.
Nandi:
Andyouwil
li
ngtosacr
if
icel
osi
ngy
our
ki
dsjustt
oprot
ecthi
simage?
Me: Iknowi tsoundsweirdbutmay behei s
ri
ght.Idontdeser vetobeapresentparentin
thei
rlives,ImeanI '
m amessmysel fsothe
kidsneedast abl
epersonaroundthem andI
am nott hatperson.
Nandi
:Li
l
ianno,
yourki
dsneedy
ou.
Me:Iknowthatbutdraggi
ngthi
stocour
twi
ll
onl
ybringt
hewor sti
nbothofusandint
hat
casewewi l
lbot
hbeunf i
tf ort
heki dswhichwill
l
eadt othem bei
ngplacedi nfostercare(aloud
crycameout )andIdon'
twantt hatsoi t
's
bett
eriftheyhaveonepar entandwi thMike
theygettogrowupwi t
ht heirfamily.
Nandi:
Idon'
tknow what
'sgoi
ngonwit
hy ou
butyouar
ecrazy,
doyouunderst
andwhatful
l
cust
odymeans?
Me: Don'
tyouthinkIknow it
?IknowI'
l
l
probabl
ynev erseemyki dsagai
nandbyt
he
ti
met heyreach18they'
llwil
lhat
eme.
It
ookthepenagai
nandIcoul
dn'
tbr
ingmy
sel
f
i
ntosi
gningt
hesepaper
s.
.

.
Mi
ke
Iguessi
t'
sTRUEwhatt
heysayaboutki
ds
sensingwhensomet hingi swr ong,Mj hasbeen
cryi
ngal lnightandNel iisal soact i
ngup. AfterI
sawLi l
ianandTer renceki ssingatt heweddi ng
Iwasf umi ngandangr ybutIl ovedandt r
ust ed
herenought ogi vemet her especti deserved,i
thoughtshewasgoi ngt ocal m cleant omeand
tel
lmewhathappenedbutshemadet hi
ngs
wor sebysl eepingwi t
hhi m. Af t
ertheweddi ngi
activatedt het r
ackeri nhercarbecausei di
d
haveaf eel i
ngshewasgoi ngt oseeinghi m
againandt omydi sappoi ntmentshedi dand
thehar destt hingwasact ual l
ywat chingher
havingsexwi thanot hermanandact uall
y
enjoyingi t.Ifailtounder standwhyshedi dt hi
s
,Ihav ebeenagoodhusbandt oher, iwasher e
suppor tinghert hrought hisThamsanqaor deal
andi hav eprov i
dedherwi thev eryt
hingshe
want edbuti guessi twasn' tenoughf orher .I
tri
edl ooki ngatt hisatadi fferentangl e
consi deringthati hav echeat edonhermor e
thanonceandal lthehear tachei hav ebrought
herbuti canteveryti
mei t
hinkaboutherand
thatfoolmyangerj ustbui
ldsup.Sheli
edtome
tomyf acewheni askedheraboutTerr
ence
andsaidhewasaf ri
endbutiguessacheateri
s
alwaysacheat erandshedoesn'tdeser
vetobe
partofmyki dslif
eandwi t
houtthekidsshe
canbet hewhor ethatshewantstobewi t
hno
l
imits.
Mythoughtsaredi
stur
bedbymot hercomi
ng
i
ntothekit
chenofthepenthouseIr ent
ed,
Ihad
t
ocallher.Theki
dswouldn'tsl
eep.
Mar
ia:Theyar
esleepi
ngnow,
butt
heyar
eti
red
f
rom al
lthecr
ying.
Mi
ke:
Thanky
ou.
Mari
a:Dontthankme,howlongwi
lly
oukeep
t
hisup?Youknowt heseki
dscan'
tbeaway
f
rom l
il
ianf
orlong.
Me:
Idontwantt
ohearhername.
Mar
ia:
Wel
ltough,
becauseshei
sst
il
lyourwi
fe
andt
hei
rmot
her
.
Me:
Notf orl
ong,
wear
eget
ti
ngadi
vor
ceand
I
'mtaki
ngtheki
ds.
Mari
a:Youhavelosty
ourmind,
doyoureal
i
ze
t
hatMj i
snotevenayearol
d,t
heseki
dsneed
t
hei
rmot her.
!!
Me: Mot
herLi
li
ancheatedonmeandnowI'm
giv
inghert
hefreedom shewant
ssot
hatshe
canwhoreinpeace.
Maria:
Youwillnotinsultherl
ikethat,
I'
m not
sayi
ngwhatshedi disokaybutdontsi there
acti
ngall
hol
ierthant hou,youalsocheatedon
herandshestayeddidn'tshe?
Me:SowhatI'
m supposet
ofor
giv
eandf
orget
al
lbecauseI
'
vedoneitbef
ore?
Mar i
a:That'
snotwhatI'
m say
ing,
butyouneed
totalktoherandyouthi
nkshewil
llety
outake
herkidswithoutaf
ight?
Me:
Shehasnogr
ounds.
Maria:Oneruleyoumustknow,amotherwoul
d
doany t
hingforherki
dseveni
fitmeans
sendingtheloveofherl
i
fetopr
ison.
Me:Shewoul
dneverdot
hatandbesi
deswhat
pr
ovedoesshehave?
Shewasabouttoanswerwhenmyphone
ri
ngedanditwasLil
ianandmyphonewas
connectedt
othespeakersomymothercoul
d
heartoo.
Mar
ia:
Answerher!
!
Ianswer
ed.
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwant?
Li
ly:Uhhhm (
coughs)Iwant
edt
oknowwher
e
shouldIdr
opthepapers?
Icoul
dtel
lbyherv
oicet
hatshei
scr
ying.
Me:
Whatpaper
s?
Lil
y:Thedi
vorcepaper
sandthef
orm gr
ant
ing
youfull
cust
odyofthekids.
IswearIjustsawmywor l
dcr ashi
nginfrontof
mewhenshesai dshesignedt hepapersandis
grant
ingmet hecustody,IknowIwant edthis
butIdidn'
tthi
nkshewoul ddoi tsoeasil
y.
Me:
I'
ll
sendsomeonet
ocol
l
ectt
hem .
Li
ly:
Mi keIknowi
t'
stoomuchtoaskbutcanI
seemyki dsonel
astt
imebef
orethi
sgets
fi
nal
ized?
Me:
Sur
e,I
'
lll
ety
ouknow.
Iwasabouttoaskhersomethi
ngwhenIhear
d
aloudbangandlosi
ngthecall
,Iknewshe
thr
ewitagai
nstthewall
.
Isi
ghedl
ooki
ngatmymot
her.
Mari
a:Youshoul
dber
ejoi
ci
ng,
thi
siswhaty
ou
want
edright?
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT74
Li
l
ian
(1weekl
ater
)
Ihav ecr i
edandcr i
edandInol ongerhav ethe
tearst ocry,Imadeahugedeci sionf ormyki ds
butnowIdontknowhowt omov ef orward
from it.HowdoIcont i
nueli
vi
ngknowi ngthatI
hav ekidst hatIcannotsee.Mnqobi hasbeen
wi t
hVuy otheent i
reweekIdidn'twanthi mt o
seemel i
ket hisandIknowhewasgoi ngtoask
aboutt hem andIdontev enknowhowt obegin
toexpl ainthis.Thegirl
shavebeenv ery
under standing, wellt
heyaregrownsot hey
knowaboutst uffandNandi hasbeenher e
almostev erydayandbecauseIhav enotbeen
talki
ng, shejustlaysont hebedwi thmeand
say snot hi
ng, honestl
yhersuppor tmeansso
muchtome.MariaandMar t
hacamet wodays
agoandIwasnotinthemoodforthem but
Mari
ablat
ant
lyt
oldmet hatwhatMikeandIare
doi
ngisst
upi
dandshei snotsupport
ingi
tatal
l.
Nandi
:Lookwhodeci
dedt
ocomeoutoft
he
deadt
oday!!
Shesaidsmil
ingandIsmil
edback,
she
scannedthebedr
oom anditwascl
ean.
Me:
Hey
Nandi
:Ther
esamessageony
ourphonef
rom
Mike.
Itookt hephoneandhehadsentmeamessage
tel
li
ngt hatthekidswil
l beher eat11. Iwantto
crybelievemebutmyey esaredr y,
Ihav ebeen
tryi
ngt othinkofhowt hingsjustspiral
edoutof
control j
ustbecauseofmyst upidi
ty.I'
ml oosi
ng
myhusbandandki dsallatthesamet imef or
nothing.
Me:
hei
sbr
ingi
ngt
heki
dsat11.
Nandi
:Youguy
sar
ereal
l
ydoi
ngt
his?
Me: Alreadydi
d,ever
ythi
ngwasfi
nal
i
zed
yesterday.Il
ostal
lri
ghtstomyki
dsandI
'ma
divorcedwoman.
Nandi
:Youshoul
dgetr
eadyt
hen,
11i
sin30
minut
es.
Me:
I'
mthi
nki
ngofl
eav
ing.
Nandi
:Leav
e?Ar
eyouser
ious?
Me: IdontknowyetbutIdonthav et
hestrengt
h
tocontinueli
vi
nghereandknowi ngthatmy
kidsarenotfarfr
om mebuti cantseethem or
touchthem .
Nandi
:WhataboutMnqobi
andt
hegi
rl
s?
Me:Itwasj
ustat
hought,
i
fideci
det
odoi
tthen
I
'l
lfi
ndaway.
Nandi:
I'
m st
il
li
nadazeaboutal
lthi
s,i
tsl
ike
I
'm wait
ingf
oryouguy
stosay"i
t'
sajoke"
.
Me: Idonthaveany onet oblameforthi
sbut
my self
,Mikehat esev enthementi
onofmy
nameandIdon' tblamehi m, t
hatmanhasbeen
throughthickandt hinwithmeandt hi
sishowI
repaidhim bysleepingwit hsomeoneelse.
Nandi
:Mi
kedoesnothat
eyou.
Me:Hedoes,
letmegetreadyt
oseemyki
ds
pr
obabl
yfort
helastt
ime.
Nandi
:Dontsayt
hat!
!
Me:
Itst
rue.
Iwalkedi
ntothebat hroom andtookashower
,aft
erIgotdr
essedi nmysweat pant
sandtank
topIcameoutt heroom wal ki
ngdownstai
rsto
acookedmeal ,Iwasexcitedaboutthat
becauseIhaven'teatenanythi
ngindays.
Me:Ir
eall
yappreci
ateyoubei
ngher
eforme
,y
oudidn'
thavetobut.
..
Nandi
:Li
l
ianshutupandeatpl
ease.
Me:
Yesmam
Shelaughedshowi
ngmet hemiddl
efinger,
yep
she'
sfinal
lypr
ovi
ngthatshe'
smyfri
end.
Wecontinuedeat ingunti
lwewer edist
ur bedby
aknockont hedoorandIj umpedt oopent he
doorandwhenIdi dli
tt
lebeingsscreamed
"mama"runningt owardsmeandIkneel ed
downhuggi ngthem ,If
elttearsi
nmyey esbuti
am notgoingtobev ul
nerableinfr
ontofmy
ki
ds.Myey eslookedupt oseeawhi ni
ngMj
fr
om thi
sGi rl
I'
m guessingt hei
rnanny,hewas
fi
ghti
ngtocomet ome.
Istoodupandt ookhim andasusual
hestar
ted
eati
ngthesideofmyf acethankGodhehasno
teethbecauseIwouldbescarred.
Me:
HeyFana,
didy
oumi
ssmommy?
Mj
:xy
tuzsg(babyt
alk)
Me:
Iknowy
oudi
d.
Gir
l:Uhhmam wear
esupposet
oleav
einan
hour.
Me:
What
?wowokay.
Imovedtothecouchwit
htheki
dsandt
he
nannyf
oll
owedbehindus.
Nandi:
Sor
ry,
arey
ougoingt
ofol
l
owher
ever
ywher
eshegoes?
Gi
rl
:Iwast
oldnott
oleav
ehersi
te.
Nandi
:Whatki
ndofdumb.
..
Me:Youwasti
ngyourbreat
h,Mike'
semploy
ees
nev
erbreakhi
srul
es.YoucanrelaxSi
si
.
Gi
rl
:Thanky
ou.
Iturnedmyat tent
ionbackt othekidsand
playingwitht
hem andj ustholdingt hem inthe
l
ast45mi nut
eswast hegr eatestfeelingthatI
will
f or
everholdonto.Iplacedal lthreeofthem
i
nmyl apasIr eal
i
zedIhav e10mi nut eswith
them ,thi
sisthehardestthingIhav eev erdone
.Ifel
ttear
sfal
l
ingofmyf
aceandNandi
stood
behindmebrushi
ngmyback.
Me:Umamauy
ani
thandani
yezwa(
Mommy
l
ovesyou)
.
Nel
i
:met
oo
Shesai
djumpi
ngonmyl
ap,
ohhLor
dhowdoI
dothi
s?
Me:Butmamahast ogosomewhereandleave
youguysbehindandwhenyouar
eolder
mommywi llbebackandi
nhopethatyoucan
f
orgi
veme.
Si
ya:
Uyaphi
?(Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng)
Nel
i
:Iwantt
ogowi
thy
ou.
IknowMj doesn'
tunder
standawordI
'
m saying
butthesetwoareol
denoughtounder
stand
thatI
'mleavi
ng.
Me:
Nobabyyoucant,
mommyi ssi
cksoIhave
t
obewi
ththedoct
orandIknowyoudontwant
t
obear
ounddoct
orsbecauset
heyuseneedl
es.
Nel
i
:Nonononeedl
es!
Si
ya:
I'
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
Me:Iwil
lmissy
outoomybabi
esandpl
easedo
notgi
vedaddyt
roubl
eokay
.
Theybothnodtheirheadifonlytheyknewt hatI
wil
lnotbeinthei
rli
vesgrowingup, Ihadtouse
thesickst
orybecauseIcannothav emy
chil
drenknowingthatIabandonedt hem
becausetheywil
lneverunderstandmyr easons
noworwhent heyaregrowingup.
Ihel
dthem i
nmyey
esfor5minut
esj
ust
embraci
ngmyki
dsandIwasamesswit
htear
s.
Gir
l:Mam I
'
m sor
rybutourdr
iveri
sal
ready
outsi
de.
Istoodupgivi
ngherMjbuthewouldn'
tbudge
,heheldontomet i
ght
lyandthet
winswere
alsohi
dingbehi
ndmylegs.Wheewt hi
sisgoi
ng
t
obemor
ehar
dert
hanIt
hought.
IplacedMjonmychestandkneel
eddownt
o
thetwinsl
evel
.
Me:Heyl
ookdaddyi
swait
ingf
ory
ouandhe
wi
ll
buyyouyourf
avor
it
etoys.
Nel
i
:Comewi
thus?
Me:Okay,l
et'
sgo.
(Tot
henanny
)I'
l
ltaket
hem
out
side.
Ifoll
owedbehi ndthenannyandwhenwe
reachedout si
deIfeltal
umpi nmyt hr
oat
real
izingthatMikewashereandhecoul dn'
t
evencomei nsi
de.Heopenedt hedoorand
cameoutandourey esl
ockedimmediatel
ybut
allisawwashat eandanger, t
hemant hatwas
oncemywor l
d,t
heonewhol ov edmewasno
l
ongert heretheonlythi
ngtherewasdisgust.
Mi
ke:
CanIhav
ehi
m?
It
ri
edt
ogi
veMj
tohi
m buthewasn'
thav
ingi
t
wit
hhishol doverme.If
inal
l
ymanagedt ohand
hi
m ov erandhewasscreamingtry
ingtowiggl
e
hi
swayoutofMi ke'
shandandhismeansof
get
tinghimt ocal
m downallwenti
nv ai
n.
tearswerestr
eamingdownmyf ace,Itur
ned
aroundtothetwinsandtheywerebothcryi
ng,I
wasnotsur pr
isedatNel
ibutIhavenotheard
Siyacryi
nforever.
Me:(Huggi
ngthem)Hey,dontcry.
Mommy
l
ovesyouverymuchbutyouhav etogowi
th
daddyanddontgi
vedaddytroubl
eokay.
Isaidpl
acingthem onthecarandNeli
was
tr
yingtogetoutandMi kecl
osedthedoorand
shewashit t
ingthewindow,al
loft
hem cr
ying.
Iwal
kedt
owardsMi
kewant
ingt
oki
ssMj
one
l
astt
imebut
..
Mi
ke:
Dont!
!
Hesai
dgetti
ngi
nsi
det hecarandt
hecardr
ove
of
fbutIcoul
dst
il
lhearmykidscry
ing.
I
couldn'
tfeel
myl
egs,
i,
justf
eltdi
zzyandoutof
breath.
Nandi
:Hey,
comei
nsi
de.
Shesai
dhelpingmegoinsi
dethehouseandi
j
ustfel
lfl
atdownonthefl
oorcry
ingmylungs
out.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT75
(
5year
slat
er)
Mi
ke
"
DadIcan'
tfi
ndmyshoe?
"
"
I'
m hungr
y!!
"
"
Iwantmyt
oy"
Wel
li
thasstar
tedi
nt hei
rorderoftr
ouble
maki
ng.Thi
sismyeverydayli
feandthankGod
i
t'
snotaschool
dayt
oday.
Ourl iveshav echangedsomuchov ert hepast
fewy ear s,they '
vehadt oAdj ustt onothav ing
theirmot herar oundandbei nghappyagai nand
Iont heot herhandhadt hemostr efl
ect ingt o
do. Iwasangr yandbi ttertowar dsLi li
anand
ever ythingt hathappenedbet weenust ook
placedur ingt hatt imeandatt hatt imeIsaw
not hingwr ongwi thwhatIdi dbutseei ngt hese
kidsev erydayandbei ngpar toft heirl
iv es
makesmef eel hor r
iblebadf orwhatIf orced
Lil
iani nt odoi ng. AlthoughIr ealisemymi stake
Ihav en'
thadt hehear ttogof i
ndherand
somehow maket hingsr ight,Iknowshehat es
mebutshehast ounder standt hatshewast he
onewhost artedt hiswhol et hing. I
tstillanger s
mehowshecheat edonmewi thhi m outofal l
peopl e,IguessIwi l
l alway sloset o
Ter rence. Evengr owi ngupheal way st ook
thingsawayf rom me, heal way swant edt o
makemet hebadguyal lbecauseIwasf rom a
royalhouse. Wel lhewonf orthefinal t
imeby
takingmywomanandIdontunder standwhy
Lili
andi dn'tevenf ightf
orourmar riageorkids
,justli
keIhadt hosepaper sreadyit'sli
keshe
wasal sor eadyt oletallt
hisgoandst arther
newl i
fewi thTer rence.
Itdoesn'
thelpdwell
ingonthepast,what
happenedcannotbechangedandr ightnowalli
needtof ocusonismykidsandKate, yesihav
e
mov edonwi thmyli
feandI'
m quit
ehappy
aboutit,
thekidslov
eherandshelov esthem
somet i
mesi thi
nkmorethanshelov esme.
Me:
Nel
i
siwe!
!
Thisoneist
heexactcopyofLil
i
an,i
dontmean
byjustl
ooks.Herat
ti
tude,moodswi
ngsand
thewayshehandlesherself
.
Nel
i
:Yesdad.
Me:
Igotacal
lfr
om school
yest
erday
,wantt
o
t
ell
meabouti
t?
Nel
i
:IsauntKat
ecomi
ngt
oday?
She'sonl y8butver
ygoodatdi ver
ging
conv ersati
onsespeci
all
yifshe'si
nt hewrong
side.Igavehertheser
iouslookandshesat
nextt omepout i
ngherli
ps,I'
vebeenar ound
them toomuchIknowwhent heywantt o
softenmeup.
Nel
i:
DadIdi
dn'
tmeant
ohi
therbutshe
pr
ovokedme.
Me:
How?
Neli:Shest ar
tedsayi
ngthatmyf amilyi
s
dysfunctionalbecauseIhav eawhi temom and
blackdadandwhenIt ol
dt hatauntKateisnot
mymot herandt hatmymot hersickandbei
ng
takencar eoffbythedoctorsshesai dmy
mot herabandonedussot hatmademeangr y
andIhi ther.
Me:
I'
m sor
rybaby
.
Isai
dhuggingherandIhonestlydon'
tknow
whyLil
iansai
dthattothem butwhenthey
askedabouthericoul
dn'tsayanythi
ngsoi
wentalongwit
hherstory.
Nel
i
:I'
m notgr
ounded,
am i
?
Me:Nobabybuty oucan'
tgoar
oundhi
tti
ng
peopl
ejustbecauset
heysai
dsomethi
ngyou
don'
tl
ike.
Nel
i
:Whenwi
l
lmom comeback?
Me:
Whent
hedoct
orssayshe'
sokay
.
Nel
i
:Mhhi
can'
twai
ttomeether
.
Me:
You'
veal
readymety
ourmot
her.
Nel
i
:Iwasy
oungsoIdontr
ememberher.
Me:Okay,
soy
ouhav
ehomewor
kthi
s
weekend?
Nel
i
:Youdi
dn'
tanswermeaboutauntKat
e?
Me:
Okayl
i
ttl
emi
ssKat
e,godoy
ourhomewor
k
now.
Nel
i
:Butda.
..
Me:
Butnot
hing,
upst
air
snow!
!
Shewalkedofmumbli
ngsomethingIdi
dnt
evenhear,
anot
herLi
l
iant
endency.
?
??:
Whatdi
dshedo?
Iheardt
hesoftbutsul
tr
yv oi
ceofKate,
sheand
Ihavebeendati
ngforoverayearandwe'
ve
beenhappyeversi
nce.
Iwal
kedupt
oherhol
dingherwai
st.
Me:
Heymyl
ove(
kissi
ngher
)
Kat
e:Heybabe,
howy
ourdaywi
tht
heki
ds?
Me:Notbadbecausethenannyact
ual
lyhad
somelef
tover
sforthem t
oeattoday.
Kate:Di
dyout
alkt
oNel
iaboutherl
i
ttl
einci
dent
atschool
?
Me:
Yesandsheexpl
ained.
kat
e:Let
'ssi
tdownpl
ease,
myf
eetar
eki
l
li
ng
me.
Me:
Arey
oust
il
lsay
ingy
ounotpr
egnant
?
Kat
e:110%posi
ti
ve,
I
'mj
ustt
ir
ed.
Wewalkedtothecouchandshesatonmyl
ap
,t
rustmethi
swomanhasanassandboobsfor
days.
Kate:Mrkeepyourhandstoyour
self(
removi
ng
myhandsf r
om herass).
Youhavetotal
kto
thei
rmother.
Me:
We'
vet
alkedaboutt
his.
Kate:Foroverayear,
andyousti
llnotseeing
reason.Imayhelpwit
hthem butt
heyneedt hei
r
mot herandthi
sli
eyoukeeptel
li
ngt hem wil
l
eventuall
ycomeout.
Me:
Whydi
dn'
tshef
ightf
ort
hem?
Kat
e:LikeIsaidbef
oreIdontwantt
oknowt he
det
ail
sofy ourMarr
iagewit
hherbutthoseki
ds
needherasmuchassheneedst
hem .
Me:
Okay,
mov
ingon.
Imi
ssedy
ou.
Kat
e:Iknowyoudid,
letmegocheckuponmy
guy
sandt hequeen.
Me:
Kissmef
ir
st.
Kat
e:No,
youwi
l
ltur
nthi
sint
oful
lsexscene.
Shesaidget
ti
ngof fofmeheadingupstai
rsto
checkonthekids.
Iwouldbelyi
ngifIsaidIam
notinl
ovewithher,imeanwhatisther
enotto
l
oveshe'samazingtomeandt hekids
.
.
Li
l
ian
Me: Al
lri
ghtli
stenup,wear
e5%awayfr
om our
tar
getand(looksatthewat
ch)
wecancl
oseit
offbytheendoft heday
.
Wor
ker
:Butbossi
t'
sal
readyknockoutt
ime,
i
ts
aSut
urdayt
oday
.
Me:Ithi
nkIknowthat,
butf
eel
freet
oleav
ejust
don'
texpecttost
il
lhav
eajobonMonday.
Theyal
ll
ookedatmewit
hthei
rey
espoppi
ng
out,
Iwalkedof
ftomyof
fi
ceandmyassi
stant
fol
l
owsme.
P.A:BossIwant
edt
oknowi
fIal
sogetabonus
thi
sy ear?
Me:Nooneisget
ti
ngnobonusi
fthatt
argeti
s
notr
eached.
P.
A:Okay
,youar
esupposet
ogetMnqobi
from
pr
act
icein30minut
es.
Me:
PutLeboont
hephone.
Iwatchedasshedi
all
edLebo'
sphoneandshe
pi
ckedup.
Lebo:
Mom!
!
Me:
(t
otheP.
A)Youar
eexcused.
(shel
eav
es)
Heysweethear
t,I
'm st
illatt
heof
fi
cecany
ou
getMnqobif
rom pract
ice?
Lebo:
Mom youpr
omisedhi
m,yousai
dthi
slast
weekwheny
oudidntcometohi
sgame.
Me:
Whatam Isupposet
odo?I
'
m atwor
k!!
Lebo:OkayIwasnotfi
ght
ing,
I'
ll
tel
lLer
atot
o
doitbecauseshe'
shome.
Me:
Okay,
thatwasn'
thar
d.
Lebo:
Hei
sgoi
ngt
obeangr
ythough.
Me:
Iknow.
Idroppedthecall
get t
ingbackt omywor k,
its
theonlythi
ngkeepingmesaneandofcause
Mnqobi andthegir
ls.Afterwhathappenedwi t
h
MikeIcouldn'
tbaretost ayinSouthAf r
icasoI
mov edbacktoNewYor kaf t
erl
ongar gument s
withVuy or
egardi
ngMnqobi buthefinall
y
agreed,soMnqobi goest her
eonholiday sand
thegir
lsareatt
endingcol l
egethissi
de.
Imadet hatdeci
sionthoseyear
sagot hi
nking
thatitwaswhatwasbestf orMe, Mikeandt he
kidsbutithasbeeneatingmeev ersince,i
nmy
headIstil
lhearthei
rcri
esasiftheyar eri
ghtin
frontofme.
Myl aptopbeepsnot if
yingmeofanemai l
andit
wasMar i
asendingmet heusual .
Shehasbeen
sendingmepi ct
ur esoft hekidsandsometimes
videoseverymont hsandy ouwouldthi
nkI
woul dbeusedtot hisbutIal wayscr
yseeing
them orheari
ngt heircutev oi
ces.
Nelil
ookssomuchl i
kemeandt heboy
sl ook
l
ikeMi keandtheyhavegrownsomuch, i
t
breaksmyhear tknowingt
hatIwasnotthere
forMj '
sfi
rstbi
rt
hdayorevenwhenhestar t
ed
walking.
Irepl
i
edont heemailbythanki
ngher.
Iquickly
wipemyt ear
sasIhearsomeoneappr oaching
myof f
iceanditwasSally,
theoneper
sonI
consi
deraf r
iendal
thoughshe'
smyempl oy ee.
Sal
l
y:Whaty
ouj
ustdi
disnotokay
.
Me:Sal
lynotnowokay,
I
'l
ldeal
wit
hbei
nga
bi
tchl
ateron.
Sal
l
y:Shesenty
out
hepi
ctur
esagai
n?
Me:
Yesandy
ouknowhowIget.
Shemovednextt
omel
ooki
ngatt
hepi
ctur
es
andshel
aughed.
Me:
What?
Sal
l
y:Mj
cruncheshi
snosej
ustl
i
key
ou.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tev
ennot
icet
hat.
Sal
ly
:Justgohomeandbewit
hyourki
ds,
thi
s
companycansur
viv
ewit
houtt
he5%.
Me:Idon'
twantt
o,Ial
way
sfeel
gui
l
tywhenI
'
m
home.
Sal
l
y:Why
?
Me:becauseIhavehalfofmykidsandIsee
andholdthem butIcantwi
tht
heothers.
Sal
l
y:Youhav
etof
orgi
vey
our
sel
f.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT76
Li
l
ian
Aftertal
kingtoSallyIdecidedtogohome, she
wasr i
ghtImi ghtnothavemyot herkidsbutthe
onesIhav edon'thav et
osuf f
erbecauseoft hat
.Iparkedmycari nthegaragetakingmybag
andheadi ngi
nsideandwhenIwal kinther
e
wasnoonei nthehouse, Iknowt hi
sbecause
theresloudmusi cplayi
ng.
Iheadedupstai
rstomyr oom andjustchanged
myclothesint
omor ecomf or
tabl
eones
headi
ngbackdownst ai
rstomakedi nnerwhich
Ial
sohav en'
tdoneinawhi l
e.
Myl
i
fehasbeenpr
ett
ymuchbor
ing,
wel
lIdon'
t
haveti
metobehappymymainpri
ori
tyr
ight
nowismyworkandtheki
dsIhav
eotherthan
thatI
'
m good.
Irai
sedmyey
eshear
ingv
oicescomi
ngt
hrough
thedoor.
Mnqobi
:Youcooki
ng?
Me:
Hel
l
otoy
out
ooMr?
Hecamet omehuggi
ngmefr
om t
heback,
he
mightbe12buthei
ssti
l
lamama'
sboy.
Mnqobi
:Heymama,
youhomeear
ly.
Lebo:
Yeahwehav
en'
tseent
hisi
nawhi
l
e.
Me: Mhhandhowwoul
dyouknowthat
becausey
ouonl
ycomehereonweekends?
Lebo:Wel
l(smi
rks)what
everbutt
hisi
sgood
progr
ess.
Ler
ato:
Sti
l
lshor
tofonet
hingt
hough(
laughs)
Me:
Gir
lify
oudon'
tcl
osey
ourmout
h..
.
Mnqobi
:Okaythat
'
smycue,
mom cani
hav
e
newsneaker
s?
Me:Why
?Iboughty
ounewonest
woweeks
ago.
Lebo:
(laughs)That
hacheeseboy!
!
Mnqobi
:Iam not!
!!
,
Thoseonesgotl
ostt
oday
atpr
act
ice.
Me:
Ohhandwhenwer
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lme?
Mnqobi
:Iwasaboutt
o.
Me:
Aft
eraski
ngmef
ornewones?
Hel
ooksdownandnodshi
shead.
Me:Wel
liam notgoi
ngt
obuyyounewones
,y
ouwil
lbuythem wi
thy
oural
l
owance.
Mnqobi
:Butmom I
..
.
Me:
DidIhearabut
?
Mnqobi
:Nomam
Me:
Thoughtasmuch,
nowgochangedi
nner
wi
l
lreadysoon.
Hewal kedupst
air
sslowl
y,Iknowwhyhei s
doingthat.
Heishopi
ngI'
m goingt
ofeelsorr
y
forhi
m changemymindbutIwont,heis
spoil
ed.
Hedi
sappear
edandt
hegi
rl
sbur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
Lebo:
Yout
oohar
donhi
m mom.
Me:
Justl
i
kei
didwi
thy
out
wo.
Ler
ato:
Mom i
kindofdi
dsomet
hingandy
ou
goi
ngtoki
l
lmefori
t.
Isatdownlooki
ngatt
hem andLebowas
l
aughing.
Ler
ato:
Leboy
ounothel
ping!
!
Lebo:
Youar
eony
ourownsi
s.
Me:
Younotpr
egnantar
eyou?
Ler
ato:
Godno!
!
Me:
Youmar
ri
ed?
Lerat
o: Mom !
!ther
esonlyoneCl
air
eint
his
famil
y.Thi
sconcernsyou.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Ler
ato:
Yougoi
ngonadat
etomor
row!
!
Me:
Excuseme?
Lerato:Iplannedadat
efory
ouwi
thoneofmy
professors.
Me:(shouti
ng)Youdi
dwhat?Whothehel
lgave
youpermissi
ontogoaroundor
gani
zingmyli
fe
?
Ler
ato:
Iwasj
ustt
ryi
ngt
ohel
p.
Me:
Hel
p?Di
dIaskf
ori
t?
Ler
ato:
(l
ooksdown)No
Lebo:
Mom shedidn'
tknowyouwil
lbet
hismad
.Wejustwanty
outobehappyagai
n.
Me:
Let'
sgetonethi
ngclear,
I
'm am y
our
mot
hernotyourf
ri
end.Mysexli
fehas
absol
utel
ynot
hingtodowi t
hyou.I
fIwantt
obe
al
oneallmyli
fethat
'smydecisi
onandyou
havenori
ghttoint
erfer
eini
t.
Ler
ato:
Okayf
ine,
I
'm sor
ry.
Igotupandl eftthekitchenandwentbackt o
myr oom , anytimesomeonebr i
ngsupt het opic
ofhavingamanIj ustl oseit,It
riedget t
ingback
i
ntodat i
ngbutIcoul dn' tdoit,
Icoul dn'teven
bri
ngmy selfintoki ssingt hepoorguyandi t
wasnotf aironhi m soIdeci dedt ost opev en
tr
yingbecausei dontev enhav eanedgef orsex
oranythi
ngi ntimate.It hrewmy sel finbed
coveri
ngmyf acewi t
hapi ll
owscr eami nganda
messagecamet hroughmyphoneandi twas
Nandi t
ellingt ogetonl ineshewant stov i
deo
chat.Sheandt al
kondai l
ybasis, shesbeenv er
y
supporti
v eandunder standing.
It
ookmylapt
opoutandconnect
edwi
thher
whil
est
il
ll
ayi
ngont
hebed.
Nandi
:Andt
hen,
whydoy
oul
ooksof
lushed?
Me:
Itst
hecamer
a,I
'
mfi
ne.
Nandi
:Yeahr
ight
,whathappened.
Me:
Not
hing,
canwel
eav
eitatt
hat
!!
Nandi
:Yohhyouareal
way si
ndef
ensemode
,y
oureal
lyneedt
obef ucked.
Me:Whyi
sev
ery
onet
hinki
ngIneedaf
ucki
ng
man?
Nandi
:Lil
i
antel
lme,
whoint
hei
rri
ghtmi
nd
hasn'
thadsexi
n5year
s.
Me:Me,
andhowmanytimesmustIsayt
his?I
hav
enodesi
ref
orsex.
Nandi
:What
every
ousay,
howy
ouhol
dingup?
Me:
Thesame.
Nandi
:Whenar
eyoucomi
ngf
orav
isi
tthi
ssi
de
.?
Me:
Hay
yNandi
,whywoul
didot
hat?
Nandi
:whenwi
l
lyoust
opr
unni
ng?
Me:i
am notr
unni
ng,
youknowhowdi
ff
icul
t
t
hisi
sforme.
Nandi
:Ineedtopickupmybaby,
I'
ll
tal
ktoyou
l
ater.
AndLil
ianyou49andyoucansti
l
lli
veand
behappy.
Me:
Greetmybabyf
orme,
andgetof
fmycase.
.
.
Mi
ke
"
youki
l
ledme,
youki
l
ledme!
!!
!"
Iwakeupdr enchi
ngandsweat yf
rom aweir
d
dream andasI'm sti
ll
tryi
ngt
ounder
standwhat
thi
sdream wasal labout,
myphonestar
ts
ri
nging.
Il
ookatt
heti
meanditwas2am ,
whot
hehel
li
s
cal
li
ngmethi
sti
meoftheni
ght.
Ipi
ckedupt
hephoneandi
twasKat
e.
Me:
Myl ov
e,whyar
eyoucal
l
ingt
hisear
lyi
nthe
mor
ning?
Kate:
Ihav ebeencal
l
ingyoufort
hepast15
minutes,
yourmothergoti
ntoacaracci
dent
l
astnight.
Me:
(Ij
umpedoutofbed)What
!!
!issheokay?
Kat
e:She'
sfi
nebutshewasnotal
one.
Me:
Whowasshewi
th?
Kat
e:Si
yaandhei
sbadl
yinj
ured.
Me:What
??Whatwasshedoingdr
ivi
ngwi
th
hi
minthemi
ddleoft
henight
?
Byt
hist
imeIwasal
readyget
ti
ngdr
essed.
Kate:Apparent
lySiy
afell
downthest
air
sand
sprankledhi
sleg,soshewast
akinghi
mt ot
he
hospital.
Me:
I'
m onmyway!
Isai
ddroppi
ngthephoneandget t
ingi
nthecar
anddrovest
rai
ghtt
ot hehospi
talandwhenI
gott
hereIsawKate,mymom anddad, Jess
andAli
cia.
Iwentandsatnex
ttomom ,shewasnoti
njur
ed
butshehadabandageonherhead.
Me:
Arey
ouokay,
whathappened?
Maria:
I'
mfine,Idontknowhowi
thappened
butheisi
njur
edbadly.
Me:
Thedoct
orsar
ewi
thhi
m?
Dad:
Yes
Me:
Hav
etheyt
oldy
ouwhati
swr
ong.
..
.
Ist
oppedtalki
ngasIsawthedoct
orcoming
outdi
rect
ion.we,
all
stooduptohearwhathe
wasabouttosay.
DrKhoza:
Mor
ningGuy
s
Me:
Howi
she?
DrKhoza:Wemanagedtostabil
i
zehim but
bot
hhiskidneysarer
apt
uredandhewil
lneeda
ki
dneytr
ansplant
.
Al
l
:What!
!!
Mar
ia:
(cr
ying)OhhmyGod!
!hei
ssoy
oung.
Me:
Whencanwedoi
t?
DrKhoza:Unfor
tunat
elywecant,
Ihav
eally
our
medical
recor
dsandy ouar
eal
lnotamatch.
Jess:
Whatdoest
hatmean?
DrKhoza:Itmeanshehast obeplacedonthe
l
istifwecantfi
ndamat ch.I
'm nott
ryi
ngtobe
unsympathet
icbutthelisti
stoolongandwit
h
hiscondi
ti
onhedoesn'thavethatmuchtime.
Me:
Sowhaty
oumeani
s,hecoul
ddi
e?
Khoza:
Possi
ble.
Mar
ia:
Whatabouthi
smot
her?
Myey
esshotopent
omymom andIcoul
dfeel
ev
ery
one'
sey
esonme.
Khoza:Iwasgoingtoask,
butInolongerhav
e
hermedical
recordssoshewil
lhav
et ocome
andtest.
Me:
Shesnotcomingtodoanyt
hing,
His
mot
heri
soutofthequest
ion.
Mar
ia:
youar
esel
fi
sh!
Kate:Mikethi
sisnotabouty ouoryouri
ssues
wit
hLilian,
yoursonslif
edependsoni t.
Theres
ahighchancethatshei sthematchandyouwill
neverforgi
veyoursel
fifyoulethi
m di
eonlyto
fi
ndthatshecouldhav esavedhim.
Mari
a:Shei
sri
ght,
Li
li
anneedst
oknowabout
t
his.
Kate:Si
ya'
sli
feismoreimport
antthanthepett
y
tensi
onbetweenyouandher,youalr
eadytook
toomuchfrom her,
giv
eherthechancet obe
abletosav
eherchil
d.
AlthoughKat elov
esmeandsuppor tsmebuti
f
there'
sonet hingshenev
erlikedi
showIdealt
withLil
ianregardi
ngthekids,soherwor
ds
didntshockme.
Me: Idontev
enknowwher
eshei
sandshe
changedhernumber.
Mari
a:Si
ncewhendon'
tyouknowhowt
ofi
nd
somethi
ngthaty
ouwant?
Me:
Idi
dn'
tbot
herwant
ingt
oknow.
Mar
ia:
Shesi
nnewYor
k,her
eishernumber.
Me:
You'
vebeeni
ncont
actwi
thher?
Maria:
Justbecauseyoubr
oketi
eswi
thher
doesn'
tmeanIhav et
odothesame.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT77
Li
l
ian
Me:"
Mnqobii fy
ouwantal
i
ftf
rom mey
ou
bet
tergetdownher
enow!!
"
Ishoutedfrom downst
air
sf i
nishi
ngupmy
breakfast,
IwakeMnqobi upinti
mebutwhat
makeshi ml at
eIalsodontknow. Hecame
downl ookingamessandIjustsighedin
surrender.
Me:HayyKodwaumunt
uangafungaukut
hi
uy
ingane(
onewoul
dswearyouachil
d)
Mnqobi
:I'
myourchi
l
dnj
emama
Me:12y
earoldgr
ownupman,
takeof
fyourt
ie
.l
etmefi
xit.
Hetookofthetieandf
ixeditwhi
lehefixed
hi
mselfupandIsawLer at
ocomingdownt he
st
air
s,Idi
dn'tcomebackdownstair
slastnight
af
terwhatshedid.
Ler
ato:
Mor
ning!
!
Me:
Mor
ningbaby
,whyar
eyouupt
hisear
ly?
Lerat
o:Iwant
edt
otal
ktoy
oubef
orey
oul
eft
forwork.
Me:Ohhokay,
Mnqobisi
tdownandeatandI
meanfast
.
Ler
atoandIwal
kedi
ntot
hel
i
vingr
oom .
Lerat
o:Ihadnobusi
nessi
nint
erf
eri
ngwithyour
l
ifeandwhatIdi
dwasdisr
espect
fulI'
m sor
ry.
I
'
llcancel
thedat
e.
Me: Apol
ogyaccepted,Iknowy ouguy scar
e
andwor r
iedt
hatI'
m allalonebutthatisnottr
ue
.Ihaveyougir
lsandMnqobi andifIwantto
haveamani nmyl i
feletitbemychoi ceandat
myownpace.
Ler
ato:
Goti
t,canwehugi
tout?
Shesai
dpout i
ngherli
psandIlaughedali
tt
le
bef
orehuggingher,myrel
ati
onshi
pwi t
hthe
gi
rl
sisreal
l
yamazi ngwearemor efri
endsthan
motherandchi
ld.
Iwal
kedbacktotheki
tchen
andthankheav
ensMnqobiwasdone.
Wedr ovetohisschoolandIgav ehim money
andheadedst r
aighttot
heof fi
ce.Iowemy
employeesanapol ogyf
ormybehav iourt
his
past,
Ihavenotbeent hegreatestbossinfactI
haveheardsomeofmyempl oyeescallmea
bi
tchmor ethanonce.
I'
l
l apologi
zeaft
erlunchti
me,Iwalkedstr
aight
tomyof fi
ceandimmediatel
ygett
ingtowork
.TishamyPAcamei n,
thi
sgirl
isalways
statter
ingwhentalki
ngtome.
Me:
TishadoIscar
eyou?
Ti
sha:
Ali
tt
le
Me:Real
l
y?y
ou'
vebeenwor
kingher
efor8
months.
Ti
sha:
Iknow
Me:
Alr
ightt
hen,
whydi
dyoucomen?
Ti
sha:
Ther
esacal
lfory
ouf
rom sout
hAf
ri
ca.
Me:
Me!
!
Ti
sha:
Yes,
shoul
dIf
orwar
dit?
Me:
Yespl
ease.
Ti
sha:
Younev
ersaypl
easeort
hanky
ou.
Me:
Ohhwel
lIj
ustdi
d.
Shewalkedoutsmil
ing,
Ishoul
dreal
lychange
howmyempl oyeesseeme.AssheleavesSall
y
walksi
n.
Me:
Doy
ouev
erwor
k?
Sall
y:Doy
ouhav
ecompl
ainsont
hef
inance
depart
ment?
Me:
No
Sal
l
y:Thenl
etmev
isi
tmyf
ri
endi
npeace!
!
Me:
Yousuchabi
tch
Sal
l
y:Iknow
MyphonerangandIpickedi
tupst
il
ll
aughi
ng
f
rom Sal
l
y'ssi
l
li
ness.
Me:
Lil
i
anKhumal
ospeaki
ng!
?
??:
Lil
i
an
Ichokedasmyv oi
cecoul
dn'
tcomeout,Iput
thephonedownmov i
ngfr
om t
hechairand
Sall
ylookedatmetakingt
hephone.Above
every
thingheari
nghisvoi
cebr
oughtbackthe
hatr
edIhav et
owardshim.
Sal
l
yputt
hephoneonspeaker.
Sal
l
y:Hi
,I
'm sor
ryaboutt
hat.
I'
m Li
l
iansf
ri
end.
Mi
ke:
Wher
eisshe?
Sal
l
y:Her
ewi
thme.
Mi
ke:
Cany
out
ell
hert
hatIneedt
otal
ktoher.
Sal
l
y:Shecanheary
ou.
Mike:LookWeneedyoutocomebackt
oS.A
,Si
yagotint
oanacci
dentandhei
sinneedofa
ki
dneyandweal l
notamatchsowethi
nkyou
mightbe.
I'
l
lunderst
andofy
oudontwantt
o,I
wastaki
ngachanceanyway.
Me:
Got
ohel
l!
!
Isai
ddr
oppingt
hecall
andIf
eltmy
sel
fabout
tocr
ybutIwasnotgoi
ngt
o.
Sal
ly
:Howcoul
dyousayt
hat,
yourchi
l
dneeds
you.
Me:
Iknowt
hatandIwi
l
lhel
phi
m.
Sal
l
y:Buty
ouj
usti
n..
.
Me:
Iwasi
nsul
ti
nghi
mfort
hel
astpar
thesai
d.
Sal
l
y:Sowhenar
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
Tishawi
l
lgetmet
hef
ir
stf
li
ghtoutt
oday
.
Sal
l
y:CanImakeacomment
.?
Me:Sur
e,butfort
hewhi
l
eI'
l
lbegoneIneedy
ou
t
olookatthi
ngsforme.
Sal
l
y:Sur
e,y
ourexhusbandv
oicei
samazi
ng.
Me:
Argg,
youshoul
dhav
ekeptqui
et.
Sal
l
y:Youst
il
ll
ovehi
m donty
ou?
Me:
Ifhat
eist
henewwor
dforl
ovet
heny
es.
Sal
ly:Sui
tyour
sel
f,Iwi
ll
lookatt
hingsoverher
e
andgoodluckwit
hSiya.Hopeevery
thi
nggoes
well
.
Me:
Alr
ightt
hanky
oumyf
ri
end.
Itookmyst affandleft,
thesefoolslooked
happytoseemel eave.Ididn'
tevengoback
home, I
'l
lbuyclotheswhenIar ri
vethere.I
call
edLeratoandt ol
dherev eryt
hingandshe
andLebowi ll
hav etostayathomewi thMnqobi
ti
llIcomeback, Iwil
lfaceti
meMnqobi lat
eron
andIknowhewi llbeangrythatIdidnottake
him wit
hme.
(
10hour
slat
er)
Ihavearr
ivedi
nSAandI'm sot
ir
edf
rom t
he
fl
ight,
agoodsleepwoul
ddomegoodbutit'
s
sti
ll abri
ghtdayher esoIcal l
edMar iaaski ng
whi chhospi taltheywer einandshet oldme. On
mywayt otheHot el thatIbookedIbought
somecl othest owear. Iam nowi nmyt ight
Jean' sandVneckT- shi rtthathuggedoutmy
fi
gur eandbr east s,Iwal ki nsi
det hehospi t
al
thatMar iadi rectedmet oandIwontl i
eIwas
nerv ousaboutseei ngev er yoneher eaf t
erso
l
ongbutr ightnowt heonl ythingthatmat ter sto
mei smychi l
d. Iwal kedt owher et heyar ebut
theywer ebusyt alkingandnoonesawmeunt i
l
Ihear dNel iscreami ng" mama"ev ery
one
l
ookedatt hedi rect i
onshewasr unni ngt oand
myey escaughtMi kef irstandIi gnor edt hat
,pickingupNel iIhuggedhersot ightIfeltt ears
fal
lingdownmyey es, Idon' tknowhowIwas
feelingIdontknowwhet herIwashappyt osee
mychi l
dorIwashappyaboutt hef actthatshe
remember sme.
Nel
i
:Younol
ongersi
ck?
MommyI
'
m happyt
o
seey
ou!
!
Shesaysbury
ingherf
aceinmyneckandI
walkedtot
herestoft
hepeopl
esti
l
lrubbi
ngher
back..
Me:
Sani
bonani
(Hel
l
o)
Mar
ia:
OhhLi
l
ianmychi
l
d.
ShewantedtohugmebutNel
ihadno
i
ntent
ionsofl
ett
ingmego,
soshejustset
tl
ed
formyhand.
Mi
ke:
Ithoughty
ousai
dImustgot
ohel
l?
Idi
dntev
enhav
ethest
rengt
htol
ookathi
m.
Me:
Ma,
howbadi
she?
Mari
a:Heisr
eal
l
ybad,i
twoul
dbeamazi
ngi
f
youcoul
dbeamatch.
Myeyesquickl
ywenttothewhi
tel
atehol
ding
Mj,
heprobablydoesn'
tknowme.
Hel
ookedsocut
e,Isawhi
m wi
ggl
i
nghi
sway
outoft
hiswhi
tewomanandshel
ethi
m down
andherantomehuggi
ngmyleg.
Me:
Nel
ibaby,
l
etmeat
tendt
oyourbr
othert
oo
.
Isaidhandi
nghertoMari
abutshedidn'
twant
to.Ifi
nal
lymanagedtohandheroverand
pickedMjup,damnhereal
lycr
uncheshisnose
l
ikeme.
Mj
:Youmymommy
?
Whenheaskedt
hatquesti
onIfel
ttear
sfal
l
ing
andhei
ssosweet,
hewi pedt
hem .
Mj
:Dontcr
y.
Me:I'
mjusthappyt
oseey
ou,
youl
ookcut
e
..
..
YesI'
my ourmommy.
Hedidthesamet
hing,
l
ayi
nghi
sheadonmy
chest.
Nel
i
:Mamay
ouwontl
eav
eagai
n?
Il
ookedst
rai
ghti
ntoMi
ke'
sey
esasmor
etear
s
keptf
lowingoutofmyeyes,wi
thoutl
osi
ngt
he
eyecontactwi
thMikeIanswer
edNeli
.
Me:
Nobaby,
mommyi
snotgoi
ngany
wher
e.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT78
Li
l
ian
Ihav ebeeni nthehospi talforabout2hour s
nowandI '
m ext r
emel ytiredbutIhav et oendure
i
t,thedoct orhast ookmybl oodfortesti
ngand
hesai dwewi l
lgett her
esul t
st oday.Iam real
ly
prayingthatwor ksoutandi fhegetsbet t
erI
canf ocusonmyki ds,i
ft heresonet hi
ngI '
m
certainofisthatIam notl eav i
ngmyki dsagain
,seeingSiyal ayi
ngt her
eandt hesetwoar eso
damncl ingymademer ealizehowmucht hey
neededmeorhowIneededt hem .
HowI '
m
goingtodoi tIdon'tknowbutIwantmyki dsin
myl if
e,Ihavemi ssed5y earsoft heirl
iv
es.I
wassi tt
ingdownwi thMj onmyl apandNeli
nexttome, Mariawassitti
ngacr ossusand
Mikeandt hewhitewomanwhoIf oundtobe
Kat ewalkedt ot
heendoft hewai ti
ngareaand
theywer etalki
ng,Inoti
cedt hem holdinghands
,ohhshemustbehi swomanIt urnedmy
attenti
onbackt othekidsNel i
wasqui t
ea
tal
ker.
Nel
i
:Godanswer
edmypr
ayer
.
Mar
ia:
Whatpr
ayer?
Nel
i
:TheonewhereIaskedhi
mt omake
mommyfeelbet
tersoshecancomehome.
Me:
Ohhbaby.
Nel
i
:Youwontbesi
ckany
mor
eri
ght?
Me:Nobaby,
I
'l
lber
ighther
ewi
thy
ouandy
ou
br
other
s.
Mi
ke:
Don'
tmakepr
omi
sesy
oucantkeep.
Kat
e:Mi
ke!
!
Mike:AuntKat
ewil
ltakey
ouhomeokay,
you
vuyaneedtosl
eep.
Nel
i
:No!
!I'
m st
ayi
ngwi
thMommy.
Shesaidthr
owi
ngatant
rum andMj j
ust
ti
ghtenedhi
shol
dar
oundme, thi
sisgoi
ngt
obe
di
ffi
cult.
Mike:
yourmot
heri
sti
redandy
out
woneedt
o
sl
eep.
Mj
:I
'm notgoi
ng
Nel
i
:I'
m sl
eepi
ngwi
thMommy.
Mar
ia:
Mziwonkel
ett
heki
dsbewi
tht
hei
r
mot
her.
Iknewhehadnocomebackt othat,
when
Mariausedhi
sfi
rstnameheknowssheis
angryandhenev
erusedtorespondt
othat.
Kat
e:Uhhm Li
l
ian
Il
ookedupather
Me:
Yes
Kat
e:Si
nceitseemst hey'
l
lbespendingt
he
ni
ghtwi
thyou,canIhav eyouraddr
esssothat
wecansendtheirst
uff.
Me:Dontworryaboutthat
,I'
l
lbuywhat
ever
t
heyneed.Thanksfort
hegesturet
hough.
Isai
dsmili
ngabi tather,sheseemsl i
keagood
womanandNel isaidaf ewt hi
ngsabouther
andIcantel
lsheisv erypresenti
ntheirl
i
ves
andfort
hatI'
m grateful
.
Mi
ke:ButIdohav
etoknowwher
eyouar
ewi
th
MYchil
dren.
Honestl
yIdontwanttoenter
tai
nMikel
etal
one
speaktohi
m, j
usthear
inghisvoi
cemakesme
engrav
ewithanger.
Mar
iacoul
dseet
hatIhadnoi
ntent
ionsof
r
espondi
ngt
ohi
m.
Mari
a:Youcancometomyhouse,
youdont
hav
etostayinahot
el.
Me:Thanky
oubutI'
m okay,
I
'l
lj
ustr
enta
pent
housefr
om t
omorrow.
Theyallgotupwhenthedoctorcameour
dir
ecti
onandIwasseat edbecauseofthese
twowhower ev er
ysl
eepybythewaybutthey
arefi
ghti
ngi t
.
DrKhoza:
Eveni
ngev
ery
one.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoesi
tsay.
?
Khoza:Imustsay,
bri
ngi
ngLi
l
ianwasagood
thi
ng.Shei
samat chandwecandothesur
ger
y
tomorr
ow.
Isi
ghedinrel
iefasev ery
oneelsecheer
edwell
exceptMikebutIcouldn'
tcar
elessaboutt
hat
,al
lthatmatt
ersisthatIcansavemyson.
Khoza:
Lil
i
anIhav
esomeor
der
sfory
ou.
Me:
Okay
Khoza:Theoperati
onwil
ltakepl
aceat13pm
andtomorrowyoumustnoteatany t
hingor
dri
nkwaterunti
lthepr
ocedureisdone.
Me:
Alr
ight
,whatt
imedoIneedt
obeher
e?
Khoza:
10am
Mi
ke:
Canweseehi
m?
Khoza:Unfor
tunat
elynot,heisal
readyi
n
prepar
ati
onsoy ouwillseehim whenhewakes
uptomorrow.Youcanal lgohomeandrelax
toni
ght.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Thedoct
ornoddedhi
sheadashewal
kedaway.
Igotupput
ti
ngMjinmywai
standNel
iwas
hol
dingmyhand.
Me:Ma,I
'm goi
ngt
oheadout.
Itwasni
ce
seei
ngy
ou.
Mari
a:Sameher
e,whatwil
lyoudowi
tht
heki
ds
whenyouhav
etocheckin?
Me:
CanIbr
ingt
hem t
oyou?
Mar
ia:
Nopr
obl
em.
Mi
ke:
Soy
our
eal
l
ygoi
ngt
oactl
i
keI
'
minv
isi
ble?
Me:
(toNel
iandMj
)Gosayby
etoy
ourdad.
Ipl
acedMjdownandtheybothwenttohi
m
huggi
nghi
m andKat
eandt heyr
etur
nedbackt
o
me.
Iwalkedoutwi
ththem t
omycarandbuckled
them upi
nthebackandassoonasIstart
ed
dri
vi
ngIsawMj fal
li
ngasleepandNel
iwas
real
l
yf i
ghti
nghers.
Me:
Nel
ibaby,
youcansl
eep.
Nel
i
:YouwontbegonewhenIwakeup?
Me:
Nobaby,
Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
e.
Isai
dconv
inci
ngherandaf
teraf
ewmi
nut
es
shewasout. Onmywaybackt othehotelI
boughttakeoutsforust oeatbecauseIactual
l
y
hatehot
el food.Iparkedmycari ntheparki
ng
areaandgotof fwalkingtowherethekidswere.
Itri
edwakingNel
iupandshewoul dn'
twakeup
,sometrai
tsreal
l
yshoul
dn'tbetr
ansferredto
kids.Mj
wokeupandhel aughed,okaythisone
takesaf
terMike.
Mj
:Letmewakeherup.
Me:
Youcan?
Heposit
ionedhi
mself,
andst
art
edblowi
ngair
i
ntoNeli
'snoseandNel
ij
umpedshotupyel
l
ing
"
Mj "andIcoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
augh.
Mj
:Ther
e,easy
.
Nel
i
:Heal
way
sdoest
his.
Me:
(l
aughi
ng)Mj
stopabusi
ngmybaby.
Nel
i
:Mommyst
opl
aughi
ng,
it'
snotf
unny
.
Me:
Okay,
I
'm sor
ry.
Wegotof fthecarandwalkedinsi
det
oour
room andtheywerehappytoseetheroom ,
i
t
wasanensui tandtheyat
ebutIwasnotthat
hungry,al
lIwantedwastosleep.
Me:
Mommyhasanof
fert
omake!
Nel
i
:What
?
Me:Mommyi sreal
lytir
ed,solet'
sskipbat
hing
ti
meandwewi l
lallbathtomorrow.Itwasli
keI
sai
dsomethi
ngposi t
ivebecausetheyjumped
upanddownont hecouch.
Nel
i
:Ihat
ebat
hingal
lthet
ime.
Ijustlaughedatbot
hoft
hem ast
heyt
ookof
f
theirclot
hes.
Nel
i
:Mamawedonthav
eourpy
jamas!
!
Me:
Wel
lyoucansl
eepi
nmyT-
shi
rt
s.
Nel
i
:It
hinkI
'
m goi
ngt
oenj
oyhav
ingamom .
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
78cont
inued.
..
..
Mi
ke
Todayi sabi gdayf ormyboyandIj usthope
andpr ayt hateverythinggoeswel landt hathe
willbeokay. I'l
lbely i
ngifIsaidIwasnot
shockedt oseeLi lianar r
ivi
ngespeci allyt
hat
fastandIwassur prisedtoseet hatthekids
remember edherandhowcl i
ngytheywer eto
her.Ididn'tthinkseei ngherwoul dhav eso
muchef f
ectonme, mygui ltcameback
crashingbutIdontknowwhyIbehav edl i
kea
j
erkandt hef actt
hatshepr acti
call
yi gnored
meal somademeki ndofupset.
Kat
e:Babe,
your
eady
?
Me:Yes,I
'
mreadyf
ort
hist
obeov
erandmy
boycancomehome.
Kat
e:Youdoknowthatt
hoseki
dswontl
eav
e
Li
li
anssi
ghtr
ight?
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumean.
?
Kat
e:Theywerehappytoseeher,
sowhatwil
l
beyourr
easontothem f
orhernotseei
ngt
hem.
Me:
Shewi l
lcomeupwi
thi
t,shecameupwi
th
t
heprev
iousone.
Kat
e:Whatyoudoi
ngi
swr
ong,
thatwoman
l
ovesherki
ds.
Me:
Andshedoesn'
tdeser
vet
hem .
Kat
e:YouwanttoknowwhyInev
erwantt
o
hav
ey ourchi
l
d?
Il
ookedatherandshewasr
eal
l
yser
ious.
Kat
e:Becauseofthi
s,idontwantyout
ousemy
chi
l
dagainstmejustli
keyoudoingtoher
.
Me:I
'm notusi
ngtheki
dsagai
nsther,
shedi
dn'
t
ev
enfightfort
hem ,
whatki
ndofmotheri
sthat
makesher.
Kat
e:Iam notgoi
ngt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
ouaboutt
his.
Me:
No,
Iwanty
out
otel
lmewhaty
out
hinki
ng.
Kate:Youhav eneverbeenangr
yabouthernot
fi
ghti
ngf orherkids,
youareangr
ybecauseshe
di
dn'tfightforyou.
Me:Ididn'
twanthert
ofi
ghtf
orme,
Ineeded
her.
..
.
Kat
e:Towhat
??Youdon'
tev
enknow.
Shesai dwalki
ngoutofthebedroom andI
couldseeshewasangr yandshehasbeen
si
ncel astni
ght.If
oll
owedherdownst ai
rsand
grabbedherf r
om behi
ndhuggingher.
Me:
Whyar
eyour
eal
angr
yatme.
Kat
e:Canwepl
easego?
It
urnedherar
oundt
ofaceme.
Me:
Ihat
eitwheny
oudon'
ttel
lmehowy
our
eal
f
eel
.
Kate:Maybeit
sbecauseI
'
mreal
l
yseei
nghow
heart
lessyouare.
Me:
Excuseme!
!
Kat
e:Mikethepai
ninthatwoman'
seyesi
sso
evi
dentandyounotev
enbother
edandyetyou
ar
ethereasonbehi
ndit.
Me:
Youhav
enoi
deawhaty
out
alki
ngabout.
Kat
e:Thati
str
ue,
butIdontthi
nkIcanbewi
th
someonewhocandowhaty oudoi
ngtoa
womanwhobearyourchi
l
dren.
Me:
Whati
sthatsupposedt
omean?
Kat
e:Idontknow
Shesaidtaki
ngherbagandheadi ngout,Istood
ther
espeechlessatherwor dsandfoll
owed
behi
ndherandgoti nsidethecar.
Thecarr i
de
wassil
ent,It
riedt
alkingbutshedidn'
trespond
toanyt
hing.Wearri
v edatthehospit
alandmy
mom wasal r
eadyher ebutshewasnotwi ththe
ki
ds.
Me:
Mot
her
,wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Mar
ia:
Ilef
tthem athome.
Me:
Aret
heyokay?
Mar
ia:
Yes,
Kat
ear
eyoual
ri
ght?
Kat
e:Yes,
howi
sMj
andLi
l
ian.
?
Mari
a:Theybothsedat
edforthesur
ger
ybut
Li
l
ianhadami norcompli
cati
on.
Me:
Whatcompl
i
cat
ion?
Mari
a:Shehadanall
ergi
creacti
ont
othe
medi
cati
ontheyusedbutit
'snowsor
ted.
KateandIwentt
othewher etheywerebot
hat
andtheywer
enotsleepingyetbutt
heywere
drowsy,
IwentbySi
y a'
sbedside.
Me:
Heybuddy
!
Si
ya:
Baba
Me:
Youhav
etobeabr
aveboyokay
,ev
ery
thi
ng
wi
l
lbef
ine.
Henoddedhi
sheadf
all
i
ngasleepandaphone
r
angandmymom tookitoutofherbag.
Mar
ia:
(toLi
l
ian)I
tsMnqobi
Li
l
y:Put
(caughs)i
tonspeaker.
Shedi
dast
old.
Mnqobi
:Mama!
!
Li
l
y:HeyFana,
whyar
eyouscr
eami
ng.
?
Mnqobi
:Yourgi
rl
sar
eabusi
ve,
Iwantt
ocome
t
oyou.
Lebo:
Hedoesn'
twantt
oli
sten,
youspoi
l
edhi
m.
Shet
ri
edt
olaughbutshewasv
erysl
eepy
.
Lil
y:St
opabusi
ngmybaby,
nawenqobi
please
l
isten.
Mnqobi
:Whenar
eyoucomi
ngback,
Imi
ssy
ou.
Lil
y:Idon'
tknowbaby,
Imi
ssy
out
oobutIhav
e
togonow.
Mnqobi
:Okay
,Il
ovey
ou.
Li
l
y:Il
ovey
out
oof
ana.
Mymom dr
oppedt
hecal
l.
Mar
ia:
He'
sgr
own.
Li
l
y:Her
eal
l
yisandspoi
l
t.
(
3hour
slat
er)
Weal
lst
andupast
hedoct
orcamet
ous.
DrKhoza:
Af t
ernoon,
ever
ythi
ngwentwel
lthey
ar
ebothsleepingnow.
Mar
ia:
Theywi
l
lbot
hbef
ine?
Khoza:YesbutLi
li
anwi
l
lneedal
otofr
estj
ust
unt
ilsherecov
ers.
Mar
ia:
Whenwi
l
ltheywakeup?
Khoza:
Anhourorso.
Mar
ia:
Alr
ightt
hanks.
Hewal
kedawayandIwasr
eal
l
yhappyt
hat
thingswentwellandIsawNandiwal
ki
ngi
n,I
alsohaven'
tseenheri
nawhile.
Nandi
:Hel
l
oev
ery
one.
Mar
ia:
Hel
l
omychi
l
d.
Nandi
:Howar
ethi
ngsgoi
ng?
Iwasaboutt
oanswerbutIcoul
dseeshewas
noti
nter
est
edinwhatIhavetosay
.
Mari
a:I
twentwel
l,
theyar
efi
nej
ustsl
eepi
ng
now.
Nandi
:Al
ri
ght,
Ihav
efoundhert
hepent
house
shewant
ed.
Mar
ia:
Theki
dsar
ewi
thmer
ightnow.
Me:
Myki
dsar
enotst
ayi
ngwi
thLi
l
ian.
Nandi:Youj
usthadt
obeanasshol
e,Li
li
anhas
notseenherki
dsin5year
sandyoudontev
en
car
e.
Me:
Thatwasherchoi
ce.
Nandi
:HerChoice?Yout
hinkwhatLi
l
iandi
d
wasbecauseshehadachoice?
Me:
Whatel
sei
sther
e?
Nandi
:Theonlycr
imeshedi
disl
ovingyouand
herki
dsenoughtoputy
ouguysneedsbefor
e
hers.
Kat
e:Whatdoy
oumean?
Wewer
eal
lwai
ti
ngf
orhert
otal
k.
Nandi:Lil
ianhadachoi cet ofightforherkids
andshecoul dhavewonbyexposi ngy ouril
legal
crimesbutshel ov
edy ouenoughnott osend
youtoj ai
landbecausesheknewy ouwoul d
alsodiscredi
therasaf itparent,shef eared
thatherkidswouldbesentt of ostercareso
shemadeachoi cetoleav ethem withy ou,
becausewi thyoutheywi l
lgrowupar oundy our
family.
Me:
what!
!
Nandi:Youar esuchaheart
lessbastar
d, Li
l
ian
st
oodbyy ouandsupportedy out
hrough
ever
ythingandonemi st
akeshemadey outook
awaytheonl ythingt
hatyouknowshel oves
morethanany t
hing.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT79
Li
l
ian.
It
'sbeent hreedayssincet heprocedureandI
havehadt hemostheal i
ngpr ocess,Icanstil
l
feelsomepai nbutit'
sbet ternow.Ihavebeen
checkingonSi yaandhei sokay, hewasso
happyt oseemeandIcoul dn'thel
pbuttocry
,thesekidsmakemet earyalmosteverydayand
NeliandMj havebeenher ealmostev er
yday
andt hentheysqueezet hemsel vestomewhen
theysleep.
Ifi
nishedgetti
ngdressedbecauseweareboth
gett
ingdischargedtodaybutI'
m sur
eMikewil
l
wantSi y
atohimsel f.If
ini
shedpacki
ngmy
thi
ngsandwal kedt oSiy
a'swardandMikeand
Katewer ether
e,arggIwasr eal
l
ynotinthe
moodf orthis.
Iwal
kedinandtheybothlookedatmebut
someonewasmor eexci
tedtoseeme, t
hiswas
knewtomebecauset heSiyathatIknew
wasn'
tknownt oshowemot ionbutIguesshe
i
sachildaf
teral
l.
Me:
HiKat
e.
Isai
dsi
tt
ingonSi
ya'
sbedandhej
umpedt
o
hugme.
Kat
e:Hi
,howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
Ali
tt
lebet
ter
,(Tosi
ya)Heybuddy!
!
Si
ya:
Imi
ssedy
ou
Me:
Iwasher
ethi
smor
ningnj
e
Si
ya:
IknowbutIst
il
lmi
ssedy
ou.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
out
oo,
arey
our
eadyt
ogohome?
Si
ya:
mhhh(
nods)Youal
socomi
ng?
Me:Nobaby
,youwi
l
lgowi
thy
ourdadandaunt
Kat
e.
Si
ya:
ButIwantt
ogowi
thy
ou
Me:
Iknowb.
..
Mi
ke:
Itsf
inehecangowi
thy
ou.
Iwassur pr
isedt
hatIev enlookedathi
m and
heavoidedeyecontactwithme, heal
waysdi
d
thatwhenhewasf eeli
ngguilt
y.
Me:
Okaybuddywecanl
eav
e.
Mi
ke:
CanIt
alkt
oyou
Me:
About?
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anpl
ease!
Me:
LookIdon'
thav
etheener
gyf
ory
ou.
Si
ya:
Mommyar
eyouupsetwi
thdad?
Me:
Nobaby,
why
?
Si
ya:
Youl
ookl
i
key
ouar
e.
Kate:HeySi
ya,l
et'
sgoandgety
ourmedi
cat
ion
andletmom anddadtal
k.
Shesaidpicki
ngSiyaupandwal kedoutwi
th
hi
m,Iwi shshehadn'tdonethatIr
eal
lydont
wanttodot hi
swit
hMi ke.
Ist
oodupcol
l
ect
ingSi
ya'
sst
uff
.
Mi
ke:
Nandi
washer
e.
Me:
I'
m awar
e.
Mi
ke:
Andshet
oldmesomet
hingIdi
dntknow.
Me:
Mhhh
Mi
ke:
Whydi
dyoudoi
t?
Me:
Dowhat
?
Mi
ke:
Chooset
osav
eme.
Me:
Idonthav
eti
mef
ort
his.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an,
whenwi
l
lyoust
opi
gnor
ingme.
Me: Youbeingseri
ousr i
ghtnow( smir
ks)
MziwonkeIhav enot hi
ngtosaytoy ouand
quit
ef r
ankl
yIwoul dpreferify
oucould
acknowledgethatyouaredeadt ome, ohhand
j
ustsoy ouknowI '
l
l becontest
ingthecustody
noti
on.
Isai
dwalki
ngouttowhereKateandSiy
awere
andKat
esmi l
edatme,sheseemslikeagood
womanreall
y.
Kat
e:IknowIhaven'
ttal
kedtoyoubutIam
gl
adyouhere,
thekidsarer
eall
yhappy.
Me:
Ithoughty
ou'
dbesuppor
ti
ngy
ourman?
Kate:Ineverdi
d,heknowsIdontl
i
kewhathe
didandthesekidsneedyou.I
'
veneverseen
them thi
shappy.
Me:
Thanky
ou,
Fanal
et'
sgetgoi
ng.
HehuggedKat eandwel eft,
Ireallydon'twant
todragt hi
sthingt ocour t,
ijustwantt oseemy
kidsandi knowt hatwi l
lbri
ngdr asti
cchange
especiall
ytoMnqobi becauseI '
llhavet omov e
backher e.Iarri
v edatt hepenthouset hatNandi
foundf ormeandi twasni ceImustsay, two
bedroomsandt heot heronewasper fectforthe
kidsandt heirbeds, shealway sknowswhatI
needandknowi nghershepr obablywental loff
onMi ke.
Si
ya:
Thi
sisni
ce
Me:Itr
eal
l
yisbutther
esnot
hingt
oeat,
feel
l
ikegoi
ngshoppi
ng?
Siy
a: No,
l
et'
sor
derpi
zzaandwat
chmy
favor
it
emovi
e.
Iwasabouttoagreewhent hedoorburstopen
andlit
tl
emidgetscamer unni
ngtome
screaming,j
esusIjustsawthem y
esterdaybut
Iguesstheyarest
il
l get
ti
ngusedtohavingme
ar
ound.Bendi
ngdownt
ohugthem waspai
nful
asfuckbutt
hesear
emybabi
es.
Ismil
edasNandiwalkedi
nholdingpl
ast
ics
,GodImusthavedonesomethingri
ghti
nmy
l
ifet
ohaveafri
endli
keher.
Nandi
:IknowIdi
dn'
tbuyf
ood.
Ilef
ttheki
dsi
nthei
rbondi
ngsessi
onandwent
tohugher.
Nandi
:Andt
hen?
Me:Forbei
nganamazi
ngf
ri
end,
Il
ovet
he
pent
houseandthi
s.
Nandi
:Yourchi
ldr
enarespoi
led,
theykept
pi
cki
ngeveryt
hingatt
heshops.
Ismi
l
edl
ooki
ngatt
heki
ds.
Me:Leavemybabi
esal
one,
i
tfeel
ssosur
real
t
hattheyar
eherewi
thme.
Nandi:
You'vebeencutopenandy
oust
il
lcant
bel
iev
ei t?
Me:
Mxm ,
whatdi
dyoubuy?
Nandi
:Basi
cstuf
fandPizzabecause
appar
ent
lyi
tsSiy
a'sfav
orit
e.
Me:
Thankyou,
Iknowi
tmusthavebeenajob
t
ofi
ndthi
spent
housewit
htheki
dsroom .
Nandi:Nothi
ngwasdi
ff
icul
t,Ihady
ourmi
l
li
on
dol
larcardwithme.
Me:
(l
aughs)Youcr
azy.
Wepackedthef
oodandpreparedthefoodfor
t
hekidsandweweresi
tti
ngont hecounter
whi
l
et heki
dswerewat
chingcartoons.
Nandi
:So.
..
.
Me:
What
?
Nandi
:Di
dyourWas-
bandt
ell
yout
hatIpumped
i
ntohi
m?
Me:
Mhh,
whatdi
dyoudo?
Nandi
:It
oldhi
m whatwasonmymi
ndand
qui
tef
rankl
yitf
eltamazi
ng.
Me:Whatdidy
ousayt
ohim becauseIcoul
d
seeachangei
nhi
satt
it
udetowardsme.
Nandi:
Ikindoftol
dhim ev
ery
thi
ngonwhyy
ou
di
dn'tf
ightf
orthekids.
Me:
Nandi
!!
Nandi
:What?Hehadtoknowthet
rut
hbesi
des
t
hatwil
lnowworkiny
ourfavor
.
Me:
I'
mlost
Nandi:Iknowyouar
e,ri
ghtnowhefeel
sguil
ty
andstupidsohewil
lagr
eetoshar
edcustody
ofthekids.
Me:Fi
nebutst
il
lyoushoul
dn'
thav
etol
dhi
m
t
hat.
Nandi
:Hayyi
t'
snotmyprobl
em thaty
oustil
l
l
ovehim whi
chIf
ail
tounder
standafteral
lhe'
s
donet
oy ou.
Me:
Idonot.
Nandi
:Denyi
tal
lyouwantbutI
'
m gl
ady
ou
backhome.
Me:
Met
oohey.
.
.
Mi
ke
Forthepastt hr
eeday sKat ehasnotbeen
talki
ngtomeandIal sohav ebeenoccupi edby
myt houghtsafterwhatNandi sai
dthatday. I
feelsostupidandsel fabsor bedforthinkingso
l
owofLi l
i
anwhenshedi dwhatshedi dto
preventmef rom goi
ngt oj ailandthi
nkofher
kids.Ir
eallywantedtoapol ogizetohert oday
butshewasnothav ingitandhonest l
yIcannot
blameher, Imayapol ogizebutIdoubtshewi ll
everforgi
veandhear inghersayIwasdeadt o
herbrokemyhear ti
ntopi ecesnotbecauseof
thosewor dsbutbecauseIcoul dt
ellshemeant
i
t.
Katewal
kedint
ot hebedr
oom wear
ingher
Jean'
sandsneakers.
Me:
yougoi
ngsomewher
e?
Kat
e:Mypl
ace.
Me:Myl
ovehowl
ongar
eyoupl
anni
ngt
o
i
gnor
eme?
Kat
e:Tell
mesomething,
whatil
l
egal
cri
mes
wasLil
i
ansfr
iendt
alki
ngabout?
Me:
Idontknowwhatshewast
alki
ngabout
.
Kat
e:MikeI'm notaf
ool,thatwomanseemed
sur
eofwhatshewast al
kingaboutandyou
wereshockedbyherstatement.
Me:Babeal
lthati
sinthepast,
al
l t
hatmatt
ers
r
ightnowi
smeandy ouatthi
spresentmoment
.
Kate:Soyouwantmet oactl
i
kenothi
ngis
goingon,Mikethepastal
way
saff
ectsthe
presentandfut
ure.
Me:
Itdoesn'
thav
eto.
Kate:
Justlikeyourl
ovef
orheri
snotaf
fect
ing
ourpresentri
ghtnow.
Me: What?Idonotl oveLil
i
an,Il
ostthatfeeli
ng
forherwhenshecheat edonme, yesIfeel
guilt
yf orwhatIdidwit
htheki
dsandIam
goingt ofi
xthatbutIdon'
twantany t
hingfrom
Lil
ian,Ilov
ey ouandIwantyouinmyl i
fe.
Iknowyoufinditdi
ff
icul
ttobewithme
especi
all
ybecauseofhowsensiti
vey ouar
e
aboutt
hekidsbutI'
m goingtofi
xthatandyou
andIcanbehappylikewewer e.
Kat
e:HowdoIbel
i
evet
hat?
Me:Tomorr
owI'
ll
bemeeti
ngwit
hmylawy
erin
r
egardst
ohavi
ngashar
edcust
odyoft
heki
ds
wi
thher.
Kat
e:Youwi
l
ldot
hat?
Me:
Yes,
i
twaswr
ongf
rom mysi
deandy
esI
didsomeil
legal
thi
ngsbutmyl
ovet
hat
'
sal
li
n
thepast.
Kate:Iwanttoknow,
howdoyouthinkIf
eel
if
someoneknowssomet hi
ngsaboutmyman
thatIdontknow.
Me:AndIwi
l
ltel
lyou,
Kat
her
ineIl
ovey
ouandI
meanit.
Kate:Il
ovey
out
oo,
al
thoughy
ouar
ean
asshole.
Me:
Comeher
e
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT 80
Li
l
ian
Iwalkedi
ntot
heki
dsroom pr
acti
cal
l
yasleep,
thi
sismyseconddaydoi
ngthi
sbutit
'sst
il
l
hardwaki
ngupt
hisear
lyt
ohel
ptheki
dsget
ready.
Mj andSiyaar
eeasyandt
henther
est
hedrama
queen,yohhhthi
schi
l
dtookal
lmynegat
ive
tendenci
es.
Me:
Nel
iwakeuppl
ease(
Isai
dshaki
ngher
)
Si
ya:
Thewat
eri
sready
?
Me:
Yes,
goahead.
Mjcany
ouwakeherup?
Mj
:(shakeshead)mhhh,
shewi
l
lgetangr
y.
Me:
(puppyf
ace)Pl
easeFanakama.
Hesighedi
nf r
ustr
ati
onanddidwhatheal
ways
doesandNeligotupscr
eamingthatIwas
di
sturbi
ngherofher"
beaut
ysleep"soshesay
s.
Af
terprepari
ngandf i
xingt
hei
rlunches,they
werereadytogoandt heyhav
et hei
rowndr i
ver
whotransportt
hem toschool
,talkaboutrich
ki
ds.Aftert
heylef
tIwentbackt omyr oom and
wentbacktomysl eep.
Igroangetti
ngoutofbedasIhearconsist
ent
knockingonthedoor,
ArgggNandialways
dist
urbsmeorwor seitcoul
dbeMar iaOhh
Godpl easel
eti
tnotbeher.
Isi
ghi
nfr
ust
rat
ionseei
ngwhoi
twas.
Me:
Whati
sit,
theki
dsar
eal
readyi
nschool
.
Mi
ke:
CanIcomei
n?
Me:For?I'
m sureyoucansaywhat
every
ou
wanttosaystandi
ngri
ghtther
e.
Mi
ke:
Alr
ight,
her
e.
Hesai dgivi
ngmeanenv elope, al
thoughIdont
carewhatMi kethi
nksbutt hef actthatIsti
nk
andhav en'
tevenbrushedmyt eet his
embar r
assingmef orreal.Itookt heenv el
ope
from hi
m andopenedi t,Ilookathi m asIread
theheadingandonceagai nhedodgesey e
contact.
Imov ef
rom thedoorasIcont i
nue
readi
ngt heshar
edcust odyr egulati
ons.
Iwasst i
llgoingtocontestthi
sbutIguesshe
wasonest epaheadofmeandal thoughIwi l
l
neverforgivehimforwhathedi dIam thankful
tohimf ordoingthisbecauseIdidnotli
kethe
factt
hatIwi llhav
et otakemykidst ocourt
.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Mi ke:Dontthankme, Iowey ouanapol ogy
.Lili
anIshoul dhavedonewhatIdi dtoy ou.I
feel sodisgustedwit
hmy sel
ff ormaki ngyou
mi ssoutof5y ear
sofourchildren.Iusedt he
kidsasaweapont oshowmyangerandt o
spitey ouandy ouhadeveryt
hingt ofightfor
them buty ouchoset oprot
ectus. Iam sosorry.
Me:
Theki
dsar
est
il
lyoungsohowi
sthi
sgoi
ng
t
owork?
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
!
Me:LookIdon'
tcareaboutyourdamnapology
,ImeantwhatIsai
datthehospit
al,mymain
pri
ori
tyher
eistheki
ds.I
fithasnothingt
odo
wi
tht
heki
dstheny
ouandIhav
enot
hingt
osay
t
oeachot
herar
ewecl
ear?
Mike:
Iam t
ryi
ngtoapol
ogi
zeher
e,atleast
meetmehalfway
.Wehavetobeciv
il
izedfor
t
hesakeoftheki
ds.
Me:
Noapol
ogywoul
dev
erf
ixt
his.
Isaidfeel
ingtear
sbuildi
ngupbutIam strong
,I
'm notgoingtoshowhimt hathesti
l
lhasa
holdoverme, andIknowhenot i
cedmyv oice
changing,Imeanthatiseasy,t
hismanknew
howmyhear trat
eiswhenI '
m sl
eepi
ngand
whenI '
m awake.
Mike:Iwasthinki
ngthattheycanbewit
hy ou
onMonday -Thursday,t
henI '
l
lhav
ethem on
weekends.
Me:
Okay
Mi
ke:
Sot
hatmeansy
oumov
ingbackher
e.
Me:
Ist
hatapr
obl
em?
Mi
ke:
No
Me:
Wel
lokay,
thanky
ounowy
oucanl
eav
e.
Isaidopeningt hedoorf orhim andhejust
l
ookedatmeandl eft.
Iclosedthedoorandmy
l
ongawai t
edtear sfelldown,everyt
imeIsee
him orhearhisv oiceitallcomesback.Ijust
neverunderstoodwher ehisangerandhatred
towar dsmecamef rom becauseIdo
under st
andmypar tofcheatingandnotpoint
whatIdi dasrightbutIcheat edonlyonceand
heact edli
keIhadcommi ttedtheult
imatesin
i
nt hewor l
d,apar tofmeal wayswantstoask
himt hatbutInev erdo.
.
.
Mi
ke
Aft
ertalki
ngtoKat
elastweekIwentthr
ough
wit
hgivingbackLi
l
ianherri
ght
stotheki
dsand
honestl
ywhenIwentt her
etodel
i
verthe
document si t'
slikesomet hinghappenedt o
me, seeinghergr umpyf r
om sl eep, herhairnot
fi
x edandcl eari ndicationt hatshe' shadnot
bat hedIsawar awcopyofLi l
ianbutnott he
Lili
anIonceknewandl oveandi tpainedme
knowi ngthatal lthatismyf ault,Ibrokeher, I
madehert hehar dcor eshei s. Ishyedaway
from l ookingi nherey esbecauseal lIsawwas
hat eanddi sgust, andt heresnodoubti nmy
mi ndt hatal lofthati sdi r
ect edt ome. After
hear ingwhatshesai di hav etomakepeace
wi t
ht hef actt hatnomat terhowsor r
yand
regr etfuliam aboutwhati didLi l
ianwillnever
forgi vemeandIcantbl ameherbecauseInow
realizet hatwhatIdi dwasi nhumane.
IwalkedbackintomyhouseandKatewason
thecouchreadingherbook,
shel
ovesr
eadi
ng.
Iwal
kedovert
oherandsatnextt
oherpl
aci
ng
herf
eetonmylap.
Kat
e:Youback,
howdi
ditgo?
Me:
OkayIguess.
Kat
e:Whatdi
dshesay
?
Me:
Not
hingmuch,
whi
chwasexpect
ed.
Kat
e:Gi
vehert
ime.
Me:BabyIwantt
otel
lyouaboutmypastl
i
fe
buti
m notsur
eyoucanhandl
eit.
Kat
e:Tr
yme.
Me: Youalr
eadyknowaboutmyj obbutthatjob
camewi thl
otsofenemi esandenemiest hat
hadt obedealtwit
hmeani ngIhadkil
ledpeople
outsidemyjob.Ialsohadadr ugbusi
ness
whichIstart
edafterIhadtohelpmysi st
erout
butbasical
l
yt hecri
mest hatNandiwastalki
ng
aboutwasmeki l
li
ngLil
iansexhusbandandhi s
cousinandalsothedrugs.
Kate:Yousai
dpastr
ight?Younol
ongerdoi
ng
that?
Me:
No,
Ist
oppedev
enbef
oremeandLi
l
iangot
adi
vor
ce.
Kat
e:Whydi
dyouki
l
lherhusband?
Me:
Itsal
ongst
ory
.
Kate:Iknowthi
sisaboutt
osoundweirdbut
cany outel
lmeaboutyouandLi
li
an,
from t
he
beginni
ng.
Me: Okay...UhhhhhLi l
ianandImetatt heof fi
ce
,ourcompani eswer eint hesamebui l
ding,she
hatedmygut satf i
rstbutshef i
nal lygav einand
webecamef ri
endsf orawhi le.Shewasgoi ng
thr
oughal otthen,dealingwitht hef actthather
exhusbandwasact uallyherbr other. After
somet i
mewest art
eddat ingbutt hatwasal so
shortli
vedasshef oundt hatherexhusband
wasnotact uall
yherbr othersoshewentback
tohim. Heabusedherandt hatleadt oher
beinginacomaf orday sbutshewokeupand
wedat edagai nandherexwasar rested.Thi ngs
wer egreatunt i
lIhadtol eaveforwor kandI
di
sappear edforawholeyearandwhenIcame
backsheal readyhadthetwi
nsandf r
om t
her
e
ourrelat
ionshiphadit
supsanddownsbutshe
wasal waysbymysi desupport
ingmeev eni
fi
wast heonewhowr ongedher..
..
..
..
.
Kat
e:Whydi
dyoust
op.
?
Me:
Ohhnot
hing,
that
'sabouti
t.
Kat
e:Idontt
hinki
cancompar
etohert
hen.
Me:Youdonthavet
o,y
ouareyourownwoman
andil
oveyouforwhoyouar
e.
Kat
e:Il
ovey
out
ooandI
'
m sor
ry.

[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT81
I
t'sbeentwodaysafterMi
kecameher egiv
ing
met heshar
edcustodydocument sandIhave
notseenorhear
dfrom him andIdon'tknow
whybutIkeephavi
ngt hi
swor r
iedfeeli
ngabout
that.
Ihavemadeadeci si
ont ocomebackt oSout h
Afri
catostayandMnqobi will
fini
shofthister
m
andalsocomebackbutt hegirl
sar est
ayingin
NewYor kbecauseappar entl
ytheyhavetheir
ownl i
vest
here,seethisismor ereasonforme
tocomebackt omyy oungki dsbecauset he
grownonesar ehavi
ngt heirownlives,
Imean
Clai
reisal
readymarriedsoont hetwinswi l
lbe
too.
IputmywinedownasIheadt
othedoort
osee
whoseknocki
ng.
Iopenthedoorwi
thoutl
ooki
ngandsomeone
j
umpsatmehuggi ngmeandi hugherback
smil
ing.
Me:
Whooay
ouki
l
li
ngme.
Thabi
sa:
(pul
l
sout
)I
'm sor
ry,
I'
m sohappyy
ou
back.
Me:Okayokay,
comei
nsi
deandst
op
scr
eaming.
Thabi
sa:Iam notscr
eami
ng,
andi
am al
l
owed
tobeexci
ted.
Me:
At25y
oust
il
lactl
i
keachi
l
d.
Thabi
sa:ToyouIam ,
Gogot
oldmeyouwer e
backandIwantedt
ocomeimmediat
elybutyou
knowwork.
Shesai dsit
ti
ngdownont hecouch,thi
schil
d
stil
lamazesme. Shehatedmeatf i
rstbutit
's
l
ikeaf t
ertheThamsanqasagashesawmei na
diff
erentli
ghtandwehav ebeenincontactever
since,sheandCl ai
rewereveryopenabouttheir
feeli
ngsregardingmeandMi keandIknow
ThabisaHadl eyspoketohim.
Ipouredheragl
assofwi
neandhandedi
tto
her.
Thabi
sa:
Thanky
ou,
si
ncewhendoy
oudr
ink?
Me:
Idonotdr
ink,
thi
sisj
ustwi
ne
Thabi
sa:
Wit
hal
cohol
,11%
Me:
What
ever
,howar
eyou?
Thabi
sa:I
'
m good,
butwhat
'
smor
eimpor
tant
ri
ghtnowisy
ou.
Me:
I'
m okay,
ImeanIhav
etheki
dsnowandI
'
m
movi
ngbackt
oS.A.
Thabi
sa:Gogotol
dmeandI
'
m gl
adDadst
art
ed
usi
nghisbrai
n.
Me:
Thabi
sa,
thati
sst
il
lyourf
ather.
Thabi
sa:Iknowt
hatbutwhathedi
dwasst
upi
d
andsel
fi
sh.
Me:
Grant
ed,
whenl
astdi
dyout
alkt
ohi
m?
Thabi
sa:
Idon'
tknow,
probabl
y2mont
hsago.
Me:
andwhyi
sthat
?
Thabi
sa:Whydoyoualwayshav
etobe
obj
ect
iveaboutsi
tuat
ions?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Thabi
sa:
ImeanIknowyouhat
edadbutyou
wantustost
ayr
espect
ful
andl
oyal
tohim.
Me: Idonothatey ourdad, Iam angr yandbit
ter
towardshim howev erIhatewhathedi dbutall
thatdoesn'tst
ophi mfrom bei ngagoodt hat.I
mighthav enotseenmyki dsf or5y ear
sbuthe
rai
sedt hem well
.Heisstill
y ourfathernomatter
howst upidheisandhewi llalwaysbeandt ake
i
tf r
om someonewhogr ewupwi thoutadad
,youwi l
lneedhim unti
ly oudie.
Thabi
sa:
Okaysecondcomi
ngOpr
ah.
Me:
(l
aughs)Icanst
il
lsmacky
ou.
Thabi
sa:Youneverdi
dsoyouwontst
artnow
,howeverl
et'
stal
kabouty
oubei
ngthi
ssexy
andbeaut
if
ulat49.
Me:Iam nott
hatol
d,Ihav
ebeenagy
m mani
ac
andI'
vealway
sbeenbeautif
ul.
Thabi
sa:
Conf
idencehoney
!!
,weneedt
ofi
nd
youaman.
Me:
Idon'
tseey
ouhav
ingone?
Thabi
sa:
I'
m st
il
lyoungandwenaont
heot
her
hand.
Me:Voet
sek,f
indmeamanwhocanl oveme
wi
th8spoil
edchil
drenandI
'
llcomer
unni
ng.
Thabi
sa:
(l
aughs)Techni
cal
lyy
ouhav
e4,
me
,Cl
air
eandthetwinsaregr
own.
Me:
Sti
l
lmyki
ds
Wetal
kedforal
it
tl
ewhi l
elongerl
aughingand
mor
e,shehadherfeetonmyl apyetshetel
ls
meshesgrown,
aknockcamet hr
ought hedoor
.
Me:
ArggIswearsomeonei
sal
way
sknocki
ng
ont
hedoor
.
Thabi
sa:
Donty
ouknowt
haty
ouar
efamous?
Igotupfrom t
hecouchandwalkedtothedoor
andwhenIopenedupi twasKate,Iwas
surpr
isedtoseeherher
eandanotherthi
ngthat
surpr
isedmewast hebadgeonherJean,I
didn'
tknowshewasapol i
ceoff
icer.
Me:
Kat
e!Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Kat
e:Ar
eyougoi
ngt
oletmei
n?
Iopenedthedoorandshecamei
nandThabi
sa
walkedtouswithherbag.
Thabi
sa:MommyD,
Ihav
etogo.
I'
l
lseey
ou
l
ater(hugs)
Me:
Okayl
ovey
ou.
Thabi
sa:
Lov
eyout
oo,
hiKat
e.
ShejustnoddedherheadandThabi
sawalked
out,Kat
ehadt hi
sdif
fer
entaur
aar oundher
today.
Me:
Wantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
Kat
e:No
Me:
Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouacop.
Kat
e:Adet
ect
ive
Me:
Ohht
hat
'sgr
eat
.
Kat
e:Youdoubt
ing,
youpr
obabl
ywonderi
ng
whyMikedat
edacopwithhi
scri
minalpast
.
Me:
Het
oldy
ouaboutt
hat?
Kate:
Hedidandt hati
swhyhei
saboutt
obe
ar
restedr
ightaboutnow.
Me:
What
???
Kate:Ial
soshoul
dbear r
est
ingy
outoobecause
youknewallaboutthi
sandsomethi
ngt
ell
sme
thaty
ouwer ei
nvolv
edinsomeofhiscr
imes.
Me:Nonowai
t,
youwer
e..
.It
houghty
oul
oved
Mi
ke?
Kat
e:Bei
nganunder
cov
erof
fi
cercomeswi
th
l
otofacti
ng,Mikei
sincapabl
eofl
ovi
ngany
one
el
seexcepthi
m.
Me:Soyout
ell
i
ngmet hatal
lthi
sti
mey
ouhav
e
beendoi
ngy
ourjob?
Kate:Correct
,Ihavebeentr
yingtogetMikefor
alongtime, f
rom whenyoutwower emarri
ed
butitbecameeasywhenhet ol
deverysi
ngle
detai
lofhiscrimes.
Me:
Andwhyar
eyounotar
rest
ingme?
Kate:Idon'tknow, may
bebecauseIreal
lycar
e
abouty ourkidsandIwantyoutotakecareof
them andsecondl ywebothknowMi kewil
l
keepy ournameoutoft hi
s.
Me:
Whatar
ethechar
gesagai
nsthi
m?
Kate:
Drugs,
mur
der
s,t
orcherandot
her
sthat
youknow.
Me:
okay.
Kat
e:Hei
sgoi
ngt
opr
isonf
orav
eryl
ongt
ime
andy oushouldbegratef
uly
ounottherewith
him becauseyoubothcrimi
nal
s,butnextt
ime
youwon' tbesolucky
.
Shesaidwalki
ngout,Ihavebeenst andi
ngin
thesamepositionf
or5mi nuteswithout
mov i
ng,
Iam shocked.Icantbel
ieveKatedid
thi
sandtothinkMikewoul dtel
lsomeoneelse
abouthi
sdealings,
someonehehar dlyknew
putt
ingbot
hofusatr i
sk.
Ical
ledthenannyt ocomeov ertothe
penthouseforwhent heki
dscomebackf rom
schoolandIwal kedoutdr i
vi
ngtot hepoli
ce
stat
ionwher eKat esaidMikewoul dbe,Idon'
t
evenknowwhyI 'm herebutmay bebecauseI
am responsi
blef orsomeofhi scri
mes,hekill
ed
Thamsanqa, kagisoandPr omisebecauseof.
Iwalkedinsidet
hepoli
cestat
ionandIkept
getti
ngglaresfr
om peopl
eandthatfeltso
uncomf or
tableandimmediat
elyIgointothe
report
ingdeskKatecomesoutlaughingwith
hercol
l
eague.
Kat
e:Iguessl
ovepr
evai
l
saf
teral
l
.
Me:
CanIseehi
m?
Kat
e:Sur
ecomewi
thme.
Ifol
lowedbehi ndherandtherewasabouttwo
copswi t
hbi ggunsatthedoorwher eMikewas
.Sheopenedt hedoorandIwal kedinandhe
waschai nedfrom handst
olegs,Ifoundmysel
f
bl
inkingaf ewtimes.
Hehasn'
tl
ookedup,hehaahi
sheadbet
ween
hi
shandsandchest
.
Isatdowni
nfr
ontofhi
m andIcoul
dseet
he
evi
dentvei
nsi
nhisfor
ehead.
Me:
Mike!
Immedi
atel
yIsai
dthather
aisedhi
sheadand
smil
edatme.
Mi
ke:
Ithoughtt
heywoul
dar
resty
out
oo.
Me:
Itwascl
osebuti
guessy
ourgi
rl
fr
iendhad
mer
cyonme.
Mi
ke:
Gir
lf
ri
end?Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout.
?
Me:Kateisr
esponsibl
efort
his,
shewasan
under
coverdetect
ive.
Mi
ke:
NonotKat
e,shewoul
dnev
erdot
hat.
Me:Sui
tyouregothen,buti
knowthi
sbecause
shecametothepenthousetot
ell
meallt
his.
Mi
ke:
Itdoesn'
tmakesense.
Me:Whatdoesn'
tmakesensetomeis,
why
di
dn'
tyoucheckherl
i
keyoudidtome.?
Mi
ke:
I'
m sur
eyouhappyt
hatI
'
m her
e.
Me:
Excuseme?
?
Mi
ke:
Youhear
dme.
Me:
Ifi
washappyt
haty
ouher
e,woul
dibeher
e
?
Mi
ke:
Togl
oat.
Me: Youaresuchaasshol
e,Iam notheart
less
l
ikey oubuty
ouknowwhat,I'
llactl
ikeIdont
care.
Isai
dst
andi
ngupt
othedoor
.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ry.
Me:That'
sthepr
obl
em,
youal
way
ssor
ryabout
ev
eryt
hing.
Mi
ke:
...
.
Iwal
kedbackdown.
Me:
Howar
eyougoi
ngt
ogetoutofher
e?
Mike:Idon'tknow,
Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
othi
nk
butIdon'tseeawayout.
Me:
Whataboutbai
l
?
Mike:Idoubtt
heywi
l
lev
enmakemegot
obai
l
heari
ng.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Mi
ke:
Forwhat?
Me:Mikelet
'sbehonestexceptt
hedrug
busi
ness,
alloft
heothercri
mesar emyfaul
t.
Mi
ke:
Not
heynot,
Imadet
hosedeci
sions
my
sel
f
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT82
(
twoweeksl
ater
)
Li
l
ian
It
'sbeent woweekssi nceMi kewasar rested
andhewasr i
ghtt heydidn'tallowhimf orbail
hearingandhebasi call
ybannedev eryonef r
om
comi ngtoseehi m butIforcedt oseehi m
yesterdayandheseemedt ohav emadepeace
withthefactthathei sgoingt opri
son. Ireal
ly
don'tknowwhyIsuddenl ycar eabouthi m but
heisst i
ll
thefatheroftheki dsandt hey'vebeen
aski
ngabouthi
m.
Mar
iahasbeenheresi
ncemor
ningandshei
s
r
eal
l
ywor r
iedaboutMi
ke.
Mar
ia:
Yousur
ear
etaki
ngy
ourt
ime.
Shesaidsmi
rki
ngbecauseIwenttotakea
showerandt
hattookaboutanhour
.
Me:
Aski
es.
Mar
ia:
Iseey
oust
il
laf
anofl
eggi
ngs.
Me:Well
I'm noty
ourdaught
eri
nlawany
mor
e
sokeepyourcomments.
Mar
ia:
Sitdown,
ri
ghtnextt
ome.
Imov
edandsatnextt
oher
.
Me:
Arey
ouokay
.
Mar ia:
Lil
i
anIam t
oooldf ort
his,
Ishoul
dbe
stressi
ngovermyhealt
hinsteadofworrying
aboutmysonwhomi ghtbeinpri
sonforthe
restofhisli
fe.
Me:Idontknowwhattosayt
oyoubuty
ou
knowMike,hewi
ll
probabl
ybeouti
nnotime.
Maria:
Youreall
yhav eagoodheart,
Mike
doesn'
tdeser
vey ourki
ndnessaf
terever
ythi
ng
hedidtoyou.
Me:Heisstil
lthefatheroft
hekidsand
honest
lyIwanthim outbecauseyourgr
and
ki
dswillbeharbouri
ngmeaboutwher ehei
s.
Mar
ia:
Especi
all
yNel
i
.
Me:
Thatonet
akesaf
tery
..
.
Mar
ia:
Don'
tev
enst
art.
Me:(l
aughs)Iwasn'
tgoi
ngt
osayany
thi
ng
negat
ive.
Mar
ia:
Youst
il
ll
ovehi
m?
Me:
Who?
Mar
ia:
Dontactst
upi
d.Yourexhusband.
Me:
Ohhy
oumeany
ourson.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
anst
opr
unni
ngf
rom myquest
ion.
Me:
Mikewi
l
lal
way
sbet
hef
ather
..
.
Mar
ia:
Lil
i
an!
!!
Me: Whatdoyouwantmet osay?Tosayy esI
l
ovehim andt
hatIhatemyselfforl
ovinghi
m
sti
l
levenwhenhedestroy
edandbr okemy
heart,
i
sthatt
heansweryouwant. ?
Mar
ia:
Ohhbaby,
comeher
e!!
Shesaidpull
ingmeintoahug,Ireal
lyhat
emy
sel
fforbeingthi
sweakespeci
allywhenit
comestohi m,If
eell
ikeaf
oolcryingover
someonewhohadnosecondt houghtinmind
whenhet ookmykidsandlef
tme.
Mar
ia:
Dontcr
y
Me:
Idon'
tev
enknowwhyI
'
m cr
ying.
Mari
a: AsmuchasIlovet
heideaofyouand
MiketogetherbutI
twoul
dbecruelofmeto
advi
cey outogobackt
here.
Me:Youact
ual
l
ytal
ki
ngagai
nsty
oursonr
ight
now?
Maria:
Yes,i
fmyhusbandhaddonewhathe
di
dtoy ouhewouldbedeadbutl
i
keIsai
dyou
haveagoodheart.
Me:Youli
kemaki
ngmeasai
nt,
youf
orgetI
al
sohavemydrama.
Maria:Itt
akesarealwomantostandbyMi ke
thr
oughev ery
thi
ngandImustsay, whenIfir
st
sawy ouIknewy ouwerest
rongbutIdidn'
t
thi
nky ouwouldl
ast.
Me:
Ohhh(
touchi
ngmychest
)ouchI
'
m hur
t.
Mari
a:Theki
dsar
est
il
lcomi
ngbackt
ome
t
oday?
Me:Yes,It
oldt
hedri
vertodr
opthem aty
our
house.
Theyprobabl
ytaki
ngt
hei
rnapsnow.
Mar
ia:
Wel
li
nthatcasel
etmegetgoi
ng.
Me:
Alr
ight,
ki
ssmybabi
esf
orme.
Maria:
Iwontdot
hat,
theywi
l
lwantt
ocome
back.
Ilaughassheopensthedoor,
honest
lythi
s
womani sthebest.
Withherar
oundIdonteven
feelthev
oidofmymot her.
(
5hour
s)
Igroanwakingupf r
om t hebangi
ngfr om the
door,whothehelli
st hatinthemiddl
eoft he
ni
ght.Inot
iceditwas1: 05inthemor ningasI
walkedtot
hedoorandwhenIopenedi titwas
Mikeinaov er
sizedjacket.Il
ookedathi mi n
shockandmov edasi desohecoul dcomei n.
It
urnedt
hel
i
ght
sonandhet
ooki
tthej
acket.
Mi
ke:
Thi
swast
heonl
ypl
aceIt
houghtof.
Me:
Thoughtof
?Howdi
dyougetout?
Mi
ke:
Iescaped.
Me:What
!!
!andy
out
houghtr
unni
ngher
ewas
wi
se.
?
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anpl
ease,
Ij
ustneedt
woday
s.
Me: Twodaysmyfoot,
soy
oureal
iset
he
dangeryouput
ti
ngmein?Whati
fKatecomes
here?
Mi
ke:
Wewi
l
ldeal
wit
hthatwheni
thappens.
Me:Whatdoyoumean"We"MziwonkeIwant
not
hingt
odowitht
his,
Iam notgoi
ngtori
sk
l
osi
ngmykidsagai
nforyou,I
'
m sor
rybuty.
..
..
Iwaspant i
ngandpani
cki
ngwhenhecutme
offbykissi
ngmeandmyst upi
dsel
ffr
oze
al
lowinghimtokissme.
Me:(
pushi
nghi
m)Whenl
astdi
dyoubr
ushy
our
mout
h.?
Mi
ke:
(l
aughs)Iwasi
njai
l,shutup.
Me:
So?Peopl
einj
ail
bat
h.
Mike:LookIneedt
ohideher
efort
woday
smax
,TyandIareworki
ngonsomethi
ng.
Me:
Andt
hati
s?
Mike: Katehady etnoti
nformedherbossesof
myar restandt herecordi
ngsot herecor
dingis
sti
ll
wi thinthepoli
cestati
on,somebyescapi ng
wedi stract
ingthem andTywi l
lworkonget t
ing
therecor di
ng.
Me:Ohhsobytaki
ngther
ecor
dingy
out
hink
youwi
llbeoft
hehook?
Mike: Di
dyouhearwhatIsaid?OnlyKateand
thoseonesatthepolicestat
ionknowaboutmy
arrestandt
heevidencesoi ftheyl
osethatt
hey
wontwantt or
eportthattothedepart
ment.
Me: Iam notinvol
vedinanyoft hi
s,andIswear
i
ftheycomeher einsearchofyouI'l
lhandyou
overandt el
lthem youthreat
enedmet oletyou
st
ay.
Mi
ke:
Itsadeal
.
Me:
Idontmakedeal
swi
thcr
imi
nal
s.
Mike:
Itsgoodt
oseey
oust
il
lhav
eyoursense
ofhumor.
Me: Yousurpr
ised?Wel
lyoudi
dn'
tmanageto
kil
lever
ythi
ngi nme.I
tsuptoyoui
fyouchose
thecouchorthekidsr
oom.
Mike:
I'
ll
sett
leforthecouch,
al
thoughI
'
llwake
upwithasoreneck.
Me:
Am Isupposet
ocar
e?
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT83
Li
l
ian
Ihav ebeenawakef orhour sandI'
mr eal
l
y
dreadinggett
ingoutoft hisroom ,
thi
sissucha
badt i
mef ort
heki dstonotbear oundbecause
i
ft heywereher et
heywoul dent er
tai
nMi kebut
nowIhav etof acehim alone.
Isweari
ftheycomehereinsear
chofhim,Iwi
ll
handhim ov
erbecauset
helastt
hingIwanti
s
t
olosemyki
dsov
ert
his.
Iwalkedoutofmyr oom i
nmyJeanshor t
sand
ablackvestandwhenIwal kedinthekit
chenhe
wasseat edonthecount
erdr i
nki
ngcoffee,Isee
hestil
lhashissti
nki
ngatti
tudeandarrogance.
Me:
Idontr
ememberof
fer
ingy
oucof
fee.
Mike:
Morni
ngt
oyot
oo,
yourbr
eakf
asti
sint
he
warmer.
Me:
Yout
ryi
ngt
oki
l
lmeal
ready
?
Mi
ke:
IfIwant
edy
oudead,
youwoul
dbe.
Me:
Mxm ,
I
'm nothungr
yany
way.
Mi
ke:
Sui
tyour
sel
f.
Me:Howf
ari
sit?
BecauseIneedy
ououtofmy
f
ace.
Mike:Ihaven'thear
dany
thingfr
om Ty,
iknow
youcan'tstandmebutipromiseI'
l
lbeoutof
yourf
acesoon.
Me:
Good.
Isaidt
aki
ngoutabot
tl
eofwat
erf
rom t
he
fr
idge.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an?
Me:
What
?
Mike:
Willyoueverf
indi
tiny
ourhear
ttof
orgi
ve
oratl
eastbeciv
ilar
oundme.?
Me:
Youwantt
het
rut
h?
Mi
ke:
Please
Me: Ihaveforgiveny oubutiwil
lneverfor
get
andt hatiswhatt auntsme,ti
ll
thisicansti
ll
heart hecri
esoft hekidsthedayi l
astsaw
them andmay beapar tofmeisst i
l
llooki
ngfor
closure.
Mike:
Ihaveapol
ogi
zedandIwil
lkeepondoing
t
hatbecauset
rul
yIfeel
hor
ri
bleforwhatIdi
d.
Me:
That
'swhatal
soconf
usesme.
Mi
ke:
What?
Me: Fi
rstt
heresathingwi
ththedi
vor
cepaper
s
thatwerereadyasifyouwer
ereadyt
odi
vorce
anyti
me.
Mike:Iunderstandwhyt
hatupset
sy oubutI
dr
aftedt hosepaper
sinamomentofanger
whenIt houghtyouhadl
eftmeduringtheTumi
i
ssue,I'
m sorry.
Me:Youdr
aftpaper
sasifIwast
heonei
nthe
wr
ongwheny ouweret
heonewhocheat
ed.
Mike:Li
keIsai
dIhav
enoreasonf
ordoi
ngt
hat
al
lIcandoisapol
ogi
ze.
Me: Ialsofai
ltounderst
andwher etheanger
camef rom ,y
esIsleptwit
hTer rencebutyou
al
socheat edandIlist
enedandf or
gaveyoubut
wheni tcamet omey oudidn'tevengivemea
chancet oapologi
zeandt otopitall,
youude
myki dsagainstme.
Mi
ke:
WhenIsawy
ouatt
heweddi
ngki
ssi
ng
hi
m, Iwantedtoconf rontyoubutIwant edto
gi
vey ouachancet ocomecl eant omebuty ou
di
dn'tandt hatalonemademeangr ythatyou
couldlookmest raighti
ntheey eandl ie.Andit
ki
ll
edmewat chingy oufuckinghi m andtome
atthatti
met herewasnoexpl anationy oucould
havetoldthatwouldmakei tbetter.I
fitwas
anyoneelsemay beIwoul dhav ebuti twashim.
Me:Soyourhat
redforTer
rencewasbi
gger
t
hanfi
ghti
ngforyourmarr
iage?
Mi
ke:
Youal
sodi
dn'
tfi
ghtf
ori
t.
Me: OhhIwouldhavei
fyouhadgivenmea
chance,doyoureal
l
ythi
nkIwantedtol
eav
eyou
andthekids?
Mike:Iwasangr yandever
ythingIdidwasi n
thatmomentandwheny ousignedev eryt
hing
soeasilyIdidn'
tcarewhatwer eyourreasons,I
wasbr ui
sedbecauset omet hatmadei tseem
l
ikeyouwer ereadytomoveonwi t
hy ourli
fe.
Me:
HowdoImov
eonwi
thoutmyki
ds?
Mi
ke:
Att
hatt
imeal
lthatdi
dn'
tcomet
omi
nd.
Me:Okay,Ihaveonequest
ion.I
fSiyawouldn'
t
hav
egottensickwouldyouhavereachedoutto
me?
Mike: Tobehonest
,Iwouldhaveev
ent
ually
reachedoutbecauseIdidreal
i
semywr ong
andt hegui
ltwaseati
ngme.
Me:Ohhokay,soaccor
dingt
oy ouandtheway
yout
reatedmedoy outhi
nkyoudeser
vemy
f
orgi
veness?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknow.
Me:
Mikedi
dyouev
err
eal
l
ylov
eme?
Mike:That'
soutofquesti
on,Lil
i
anIl
oveyou
andthatwill
neverchange.Imadeamist
ake
andIknowIwi l
lnevergetachancet
orecti
fyi
t
butal
l Iaski
syourforgi
veness.
Me:
Youki
l
ledme,
Il
ostt
hel
oveofmyl
i
feand
mykidsal
latt
hesamet
imeandt
hatf
eltso
pai
nful
.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ry.
Me: Iknowyouareandther
esnothingel
set
hat
youcansayexceptthatandIcanfeelt
he
sinceri
tyofy
ourapol
ogybutitst
il
lhurt
s.
Mi
ke:
Icansee
Me:ButIneedyout
ostopapol
ogi
zi
ng,
Iwi
l
l
ev
entual
lylear
ntol
ivewi
ththi
s.
Mike:
Youinsul
tedmybreathl
astni
ght,
socan
youborr
owmeat oot
hbr
ush?
Me:
Ihav
easpar
eont
het
opshel
ve.
Mi
ke:
Thanky
ouf
oral
l
owi
ngmet
ost
ayher
e.
Me:Youshoul
dcountyourbl
essi
ngs,youcan
t
akeashowerinmyroom andIdontknowwhat
youwil
lwear.
Mike:Yout
ell
i
ngmet haty
oudonthav
emal
es
Short
sandbigshi
rt
s?
Me:
Theymi
nenotour
s.
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
buyy
ouot
her
s.
Me:Fi
ne,got
akeashowery
oust
inkandIwi
l
l
l
ookfort
hem f
oryou.
Mi
ke:
Yesmam.
Ismileashedisappear
sintomyr oom ,
thati
s
themosthonesthehasev erbeenandi
appreci
atehi
shonestyalt
houghi dont
underst
andit.
Iopenedthewar merandt ookoutmybr eakf
ast
,
hemadepancakes, atl
easthelear
ned
somethinginthepasty ear
sbutI'
m notaboutto
ki
llmyselfoverMike'shorr
ibl
ecooking.
Ispendsomef ewminutesi
nthekitchenthen
wentbackt omyr oom t
olookfortheclotheshe
i
sgoi ngtowear.Theshowerwasof f,Iguess
heisdone. It
ookouttheblackshortsanda
blackTshir
tandasIturnaroundtoputt he
cl
ot hesonthebed,hecomesoutt heshowerin
hi
sbir
thsui
tandmymout hhungsopenseeing
hi
snakedbodyandhisJunior,
ohhmyGodt hi
s
i
snothappening.Whythehellam Iget
ti
ng
hor
ny,hi
sdickhasgot
tenbig.
Mike:
Therear
enotowel
sintheshowerandI
di
dntnot
icewhenIwal
kedi
n.
Me:
Cany
oucov
ery
our
sel
f?
Mike:
Forwhat,y
ou'
vealr
eadyseenevery
thi
ng
andbesi
desyou'
veseenmydickbefor
e.
Me:
Sti
l
l,j
ustcov
eri
t.
Mi
ke:
Youcr
ossi
ngy
ourl
egs,
arey
ouhor
ny?
Me:
Don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
f,her
ear
eyourcl
othes.
Isai
dwalki
ngout,
wheewwhyt
hehel
lam Iso
weakar
oundhim.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
Inser
t83cont
inued.
(
dayaf
ter
)
Ihavebeenavoi
dingMikesi
nceyest
erdayand
thankGodheisnotpushi
ngbecausethelast
thi
ngIneedri
ghtnowishimtal
kingaboutit.
Whathappenedy ester
dayactuall
ycaughtme
bysurpri
se,overt
hepastfiveyearsI
'vehadno
i
nter
estordesireforsexbutseeinghi
m naked
l
ikethatmademesohor ny,Ievenhadthought
s
ofmasturbati
ngbutIcouldn't
.
It
'sagoodthingt hekidsarecomingbacktoday
andthatheisalsol eavingbecausethel
ast
thi
ngIalsodon'tneedi stheki
dsthi
nking
somethingi
sgoi ngon.
Iwal
kintheli
vi
ngroom andhei
schil
l
edwit
h
noT-
shirtonexposi
nghiswel
lbui
l
tbody
,heis
nowdoingthi
sonpurpose.
Me:
Doy
oumi
ndput
ti
ngsomecl
otheson?
Mi
ke:
Yohhwhyar
eyousogr
umpy
?
Me:
May
bebecausey
ouher
eir
ri
tat
ingme.
Okaythatcameoutwr ongandi twasunf
air
becausehereall
yhasbeengivingmemyspace
,hetookhisTshir
tweari
ngit.
Mike:Idi
dn'
treal
i
zebutdontworryI
'
llabouti
f
yourspacei
mmedi at
elyTyca.
..
.
Hewasdist
urbedbyhi
sphoneandhest
oodup
answer
ingi
t.
Imademyselfbusywhi
l
ehewast
aki
ngt
hecal
l
andIsawhi
m droppi
ngit.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryabout
..
.
Mike:Dontwor
ryaboutandy
oudonthav
etobe
i
rr
itat
edbymeany more,I
'ml
eav
ing.
Me:
Ohhokay,
Tysor
tedt
hingsout?
Mike:Al
mostbutIdon'
twanttocr
owdy
our
spacemorethanIal
readydi
d.
Me:
Wher
ewi
l
lyougot
hen?
Mi
ke:
Ty'
spl
ace
Me: Whydoifeel
li
keyoufor
cingt
oleav
e
becauseofwhatij
ustsai
d.
Mike:I
tsnot,
LookLil
ianyoudontoweme
anythi
ngandI'
m gr
ateful
youtookthi
sri
skbutI
don'
twantyoutobeuncomf or
tabl
einyourown
pl
ace.
Me:
Youl
eav
ingnow?
Mi
ke:
Tyisonhi
swayher e,soIhaveafew
mi
nut
esandIwi
llcour
ieryourcl
othest
oyou.
Me:
ohokay
.
Mike:
IfIdidn'
tknowbet
terIwoul
dsayy
ousad
t
hatI'
ml eavi
ng.
Me:
Ist
hatsuchabadt
hing?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknow,
isi
t?
Me:
Youwi
l
ltaket
heki
dst
hisweekend?
Mi
ke:
I'
m notsur
e,I
'
llcal
lyou.
Tyi
sout
side,
I
'l
lseey
ou.
Me:
Alr
ight.
Mysmilefadedasheleft,
ireal
lydontknow
whyI'
m saddenedbythefactthatheisl
eaving
,i
guesshim beingher
etri
ggeredsomet hi
ngi n
me,ormoreorlessremindedmeofhowImi ss
t
hefamilythatweusedtobe.
[
04/
27,
22:
20]R:
HISLOVE
I
NSERT84
2mont
hsl
ater
Li
l
ian
"Ineedev
ery
onet
ocomedownorel
sey
ou'
l
lbe
l
ate!!
"
Ishoutedfr
om downstair
sf ort
hekidst
ocome
andeatbreakf
astbeforeschool
.I
tsbeentwo
monthsoftort
ureformebecausealmost
every
dayIhavedreamsaboutmeandMi ke
havingsexandIal wayswakeuphor nyf
rom
thosedreams. Iboughtt
hehouseamont hago
whenMnqobi cameback, andohhmyhei s
happyhei sbackandMi kehascomeher e
may betwiceandMnqobi lit
eral
lydi
dnot
acknowledgehi m andIal
sodi dnotbot
her
askingwhy .
Mnqobi
:Hel
l
o!!
(wav
inghi
shand)any
oneher
e?
Iqui
ckl
ysnapoutofmythought
sl ooki
ngatthe
ki
dsandIcouldn'
thel
pbutl
aughathowt hey
werei
nalineaccordi
ngt
othei
rages.
Nel
i
:I'
m hungr
y,ar
ewehav
ingoat
s?
Si
ya:
UrgggIdon'
tl
ikei
t.
Nel
i:
Yourmout
hhasapr
obl
em ,
oat
sisv
ery
ni
ce.
Si
ya:
Mym.
..
Me:Heycuti
tout,
Neliher
eisy
ouroat
sand
Si
yayouwill
haveyourweetbi
x.
Theset
woar
eal
way
sar
gui
ngwi
theachot
her.
Mnqobi
:CanIhav
emi
ne?
Igav
ehi
m hi
sfoodandIsatdownput
ti
ngMj
on
mylapf
eedi
nghi
m.
Nel
i
:Mom!
Me:
mhh
Neli
:Whyyouanddaddynev
ert
akeust
o
school
toget
her
?
Me:
What
?Doy
ouwantust
o?
Nel
i:
Yesplease,someki
dsarebei
ngdr
opped
of
fbythei
rparentsandi
t'
sni
ce.
Me:
Ohhokay
,Mnqobi
passmemyphone.
Itookmyphonef r
om Mnqobiandsearchedfor
Mike'snumber,
it
s6:45soIknowhei sawake
thatisi
fheisst
il
lanearl
ybir
d.Hisphonerang
af ewti
mesbeforeheansweredi
nasl eepy
tone.
Mi
ke:
MhhLi
l
ian?
Me:Wakeup,wetakingt
heki
dst
oschool
t
oget
herin20minutes.
Mi
ke:
Forwhat
?Li
l
ianI
'
m st
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
Me:i
tsal
waysgoodwhenweagr
ee,
beher
ein
20minut
es.
Mi
ke:
EhhMosadi
kewena,
Idi
dno.
..
..
Idr
oppedt
hecal
lbef
orehecoul
dsayany
thi
ng
el
se.
Me:Okay
,YourdadandIwi
l
ldr
ivey
out
oschool
t
oday.
Nel
i
:Real
l
y?
Shesai
djumpi
ngof
fherchai
rtohugme.
Nel
i
:Youar
ethebestmom ev
er.
Me: Andyouarethebestdaught
er(
kissi
ngher
cheek),
nowfini
shy ourf
ood.
Theki
dswer
ebeami
ngwi
thexci
tementexcept
Mnqobi butI
'l
ldealwi
ththatl
ater,
Iwent
upstai
rstochangeintomypantsandaTshir
t,I
havenoassurancethatMikeiscomingandi
f
hedoesn'tthi
swi l
lbeasadmor ni
ng.
Iwalkbackdownstai
rsandt
heywer
eal
lready
wit
ht hei
rthi
ngs.
Me:
Yougotev
ery
thi
ng?
Al
l
:Yesmam.
Nel
i
:Wel
lexceptdad.
Shesaidalit
tl
esad, Nel
ii
sadaddy'sgir
land
asifMikeheardher,
hecameinlookingir
ri
tat
ed
andthekidsrantohughim.
Mi
ke:
Heyl
i
ttl
elov
ebugs.
Mj
:Imi
ssedy
ou.
Mike:
Imissedy
out
oobuddy,
youal
lhav
ing
f
unwi t
hmom?
Nel
i
:Toomuch(
smi
l
es)
Mike:Shesspoi
l
ingy
ou,
that
'swhyy
ou
vouchi
ngforher
.
Me:
NoIdonot
,myki
dsj
usthappent
olov
eme.
Mike:Yeahr
ight,
l
et'
sgo.
Wet
aki
ngmycarso
ev
erybodygetgoi
ng.
Mnqobiwalkedoutf
ir
standMikelookedatme
andIj
ustshruggedmyshoul
dersandweal l
wentt
othecar.
AsMikewasdri
vi
ngt hekidsstart
edsinging
somegamesongsandMi kejoinedthem ,
itwas
socut
etowatchIguessthat'
swhatt heyused
todoi
ng.
Wear r
ivedatMnqobi school andhegotoutof
thecarwav i
nggoodby e,Mi kealsogotoutand
fol
lowedhim. Theywer efarfrom usbutIcould
seethem tal
kingorratherMi ketal
kingbecause
Mnqobii squiet.
Af
ter5mi
nuteshegotbacki
ntot
hecarand
st
art
eddr
ivi
ng.
Me:
Whatwast
hatabout
?
Mi
ke:
Not
hing,
Ij
ustwant
edt
otal
ktohi
m.
Me:
Okay.
Heconti
nueddri
vi
ngi
nsil
enceaswereached
t
hekidsschool
,
webothst
eppedoutt
oattend
t
othekids.
Me:
Okayguy
s,i
tst
imet
ogo.
hav
efun.
Si
ya:
School
isnotni
ce!
Mi
ke:
Nev
erwas,
nowgetof
f.
Ilaughedatt
hei
rint
eract
ionaswewat
ched
them walki
ntheschoolyar
d.
Mi
ke:
That
'sdone!
!,
l
et'
sgo.
Webot hgotbackinthecarandhest art
ed
dri
ving.Mi
ke'
sandI '
srelat
ionshipisIdon't
knowbuteversincethatdayweact ual
lytal
ked
aboutwhathappenedbet weenusandaf terI
askedhimtostopapologizingt hi
ngsarebetter
becausewedontt al
kabouti tandI'
ml earni
ng
t
oli
vewi
thi
t.
Isnapoutofmyt
hought
sashet
urnst
hewr
ong
way.
Me:
Wher
eyougoi
ng?
Mike:
Youwokemeupsoy
oumi
ghtaswel
leat
br
eakfastwi
thme.
Me:
Wai
t,wher
e?
Mi
ke:
Rest
urant.
Me:
Hell
no,thelastt
hingIneedisf
ort
hemedi
a
t
oseeustogetherandstar
ttal
ki
ng.
Mi
ke:
Okay,
youwi
l
lmakei
tforme.
Me:
No,
getadr
ivet
hrough.
Mi
ke:
Okay.
Wedr ovetoMcDonal d'sandor der
edt
heir
breakfastandweleft,Icouldseehewasnot
dri
vingintothedi
recti
onofhi shousebutI
'm
notgoingt oask.
Icouldn'tbel
ievemyeyes
whenhepar kedinfrontofthefi
rsthousewe
l
ivedintogether.
Igotoutthecarandwalked
i
nsidetheyardanditwasst i
ll
aglasshouseli
ke
befor
e.
Me:
Your
ebui
l
tit?
Mi
ke:
Yes,
thi
swasal
way
smyf
avour
it
ehouse.
Me:
Iknow.
Wewal kedinsi
deandIwasamazedathow
ever
ythingwasthesameli
ket
hishousewasn'
t
dest
royed.
Me:
Whendi
dyoudoi
t?
Mike:
Al ongti
meagobutIonl
ymov
edher
e
af
tertheKatedrama.
Me:Speaki
ngofKat
e,hav
eyouseenheraf
ter
t
hat.?
Mike:
Yeahandsheswor
ethatshewi
l
lnotr
est
t
il
lsheput
smet oj
ail
.
Me:
Good,
thatwi
l
lputy
ouongoodbehav
iour
.
Heputthefoodonthecountert
aki
ngoutt
he
pl
atesandIsatdownacrosshim.
Me:
Doy
ouhav
ewi
ne?
Mi
ke:
Wine?No.
Youdr
inkwi
nenow?
Me:
Yes,
not
hingwr
ongwi
tht
hat
.
Mike:
Iknowbuty
ouwi
l
lhav
etoset
tl
efora
j
uice.
Me:
Whyar
eyougr
owi
ngt
hatugl
ybear
d.?
Mi
ke:
Ithi
nki
tsui
tsme.
Me:
Noi
tdoesn'
t,
youl
ookl
i
keanol
dman.
Mike:Iam ol
dLi
l
ian,
bei
ngabov
e50i
san
achi
evement.
Me:
Mxm j
ustcuti
tof
fIdon'
tl
ikei
t.
Mi
ke:
Ohhi
t'
sli
ket
hathuh?
Me:
Yes.
Mi
ke:okay
,I
'l
lremoveiti
fyoual
sost
opput
ti
ng
makeuponyourface.
Me:
Lastt
imeIcheckedt
hiswasabouty
ounot
me.
Mi
ke:
Wel
li
tisnow.
Me:
CanIasky
ouaper
sonal
quest
ion?
Mi
ke:
Sur
e.
Me:Whythehel
lwer
eyoudat
ingawhi
te
woman?
Mike:
Idon'tknow,
shewasni
ceandl
ookedl
i
ke
shecared.
Me:
Ohhokay,Ij
usthopey ouwer
enotbri
ngi
ng
i
ndi
ffer
entwomaninfrontofmykids.
Mi
ke:
What
!!Ofcausenot.
Me:
Good.
..
..
.whewI
'
mful
l
.
Mi
ke:
Youdi
dntev
enf
ini
sh.
?
Me:Buti
mfull,
andIhav
ethi
ngst
odoatt
he
housesodr
ivemeback.
Mi
ke:
Ohhal
ri
ght.
Hesai
dcomingtomysi
de,
Isway
edt
hechai
r
l
ooki
ngbackathi
m.
Mi
ke:
Wher
edi
dIputt
hecarkey
s?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
Mi
ke:
Uhhf
oundt
hem.
Hesai dwalkingnexttomeandt aki
ngthekey
fr
om t hecounter,Ilookedathim andoureyes
l
ocked. Withoutbreakingeyecontacthemov es
andst andsbetweenmyl egs,hi
shands
caressingmyf ace.
Heleansinandkissesme, Ifr
eezei nthekiss
andhesucksonmyl owerl i
p.Islowlybeginto
ki
sshim back,
Ididn'treali
zehowmuchI
missedthi
s,if
eelmysel fgett
inghotf rom thi
s
ki
sswhenheput shi stonguei nandwef i
ghtfor
dominanceandhel et'
smewi nt hi
sround.I'm
awareofwhatI'
m doi ngandhi shandsar eon
myhipsbutIcantbr i
ngmy selftotouchhim
becauseonceItouchhi m Iwillnotbeablet o
cont
rol
mysel
f.Ibi
tehi
sli
pcut
ti
ngoft
heki
ss.
Mi
ke:
Ouchhdi
dyouhav
etodot
hat?
Me:
Itf
eltgooddoi
ngi
t.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sur
eitdi
d.
Me:
Ist
il
lneedmyr
idebackhome.
Mi
ke:
Sur
e,l
et'
sgo.
Great
!!he'
snotgoingt
otalkabouti
tandI
'm
happy.Wegotinthecarandhestar
teddr
ivi
ng
tomyhouse.
Mi
ke:
Youwi
l
lpi
ckt
hem uporshoul
dI?
Me:
Ihav
emeet
ingl
ateronsoy
oupi
ckt
hem up
.
Mi
ke:
Okaycool
.
Me:
Oldmandontsay
"cool
".
Mi
ke:
Thi
sonedoes(
laughs)
Weparkedi
nfr
ontofmyhouseandwhenIwas
aboutt
oopent
hedoorhegrabbedmyhand
maki
ngmel
ookathi
m.
Mi
ke:
Youst
il
lthegr
eat
estki
sser.
Me:
Soar
eyou(smi
l
es)
Isayget
ti
ngoutoft
hecarandwal
ki
ngi
nsi
de.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT85
Li
l
ian
MyoutingwithNandit
ooklongerthanI
expect
ed,Mikecal
ledtwohour sagoaboutt
he
ki
dsandit'
snow7pm andI 'm dri
vi
ngli
keanut
casebecauseit
salmostthei
rbedt i
me.
Thegat
eopensandIpar
kmycari
nsi
de.
Iwalktot
hedoorandbef
oreIknockheopens
thedoor.
Me:
Youst
il
lhav
ethesecur
it
ysi
gnal
s?
Mi
ke:
yep
Hemov
esasi
deal
l
owi
ngmet
ocomei
nsi
de.
Mi
ke:
Not
iceany
thi
ngdi
ff
erent
?
Me:Whatshoul
d..
..
ohhhy
our
emov
edt
hebear
d
!!
Mi
ke:
Acer
tai
nladycr
it
ici
zedmesoIhadt
o.
Me:
Buty
oul
ookni
cenow.
Wher
ear
etheki
ds?
Mi
ke:
Sleepi
ng.
Me:ArggIwasr
eal
l
yhopi
ngt
hatdi
dnot
happen.
Mi
ke:
Wel
ltheyar
e,i
tsf
inel
ett
hem sl
eep.
Me:
ButTomor
rowt
heyhav
eschool
.
Mi
ke:
Wel
lyoucansl
eepher
ethen.
Me:
Youhav
ejokes.
Mike:
Lil
i
ant her
e'snot
hingwrongwitht
hat,t
he
wayiseeityoucanbeabletogetthem r
eady
f
orschool.
Me:
Letmesaygoodni
ghtt
omyki
ds.
Isai
dwal
ki
ngupst
air
s
Mi
ke:
Secondandt
hir
droom ony
ourl
eft
.
Iwalkedintowheret hetwinsandMjwer eand
theywer esl
eepingsopeacef ul
ly,
Iki
ssedt heir
foreheadsandheadedt owher eMnqobi was
andhewasal sopeaceful,
Iguesshim andMi ke
aregetti
ngalongbecausehewoul dn'thave
agreedtosleepov er.
Mi
ke:
Iwantt
oshowy
ousomet
hing.
Me:
Ayymandontcr
eepuponme,
whati
sit?
Mi
ke:
Fol
l
owme.
Icl
osedMnqobi
'
sroom andl
ookedathi
m.
Mi
ke:
Smi
l
etuu!
Me:
Youbegi
nni
ngt
oannoyme.
Mi
ke:
Iknow.
If
oll
owedbehi
ndhi
m andhel
edmet
ohi
s
bedr
oom cl
osi
ngt
hedoor.
Mi
ke:
Whydi
dyouki
ssmeback?
Me:
ayyIdonthav
eti
mef
ort
his.
Mi
ke:
Soy
ounotgoi
ngt
oanswerme?
Me:
Yes
Mi
ke:
Soi
fIki
ssy
ouagai
nwhatwi
l
lyoudo?
Ibi
temylipashewalkstowar
dsmeandImov e
backcomingincont
actwit
hthedoor,
asmil
e
spreadsi
nhisfacewhi
lehepl
acedbot
hhis
handsonthedoorcagi
ngmei n.
Me:
Cany
oumov
e!
Mi
ke:
Younotanswer
ingmyquest
ion.
Me: Youmeant
hest
upi
dquest
iony
ouj
ust
asked?
Mi
ke:
Isi
tst
upi
d?
Itr
ytopushhi
m outofmywaybuthegr
abs
bothmyhandspl
acingt
hem abov
emyhead
andwhenIwasaboutt otel
lhi
m wheret
oget
offIfel
thi
scol
dlipsagai
nstmyneckandthat
sentmybodyintoweakmode,theneedand
desir
eforsexwasbackanditwasnotheret
o
play.
Imoanashebi
tesmyneckbr
ingi
nghi
sface
agai
nstmi
ne.
Mi
ke:
Your
eadyt
oanswermyquest
ion?
Me:
I'
m notgoi
ngt
o..
..
Hecutmeof fbyki
ssi
ngmeandIki ssedhim
backplaci
ngmyhandsaroundhisneckandI
knewthewasnocomi ngbackfrom whatis
abouttohappenbutIwil
ldeal
wi t
ht hatl
ater
,ri
ghtnowIneedhi
sdick.
Het
akesofmywigandl
oosensmyhai
rfr
om
t
hebunitwasi
n.
Mi
ke:
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ulwi
thouti
t.
Ipul
l
edhi
m backt
otheki
ss,
Idon'
tneedhi
s
smalltalks.Hel if
tsmeupmaki ngt angl emy
l
egsar oundhi swast eashepl acesmei nthe
bedget ti
ngont opofmeki ssingmef rom t he
neckdown, hest opst akingofmyshi rtandbr a
,hi
shandsgr abbot hmyboobsasheki ssesme
.Iguesshest i
llhast hatf ati
shf ormybr east,he
goesdowngi vingbot hmyni pplesequal
att
enti
ongoi ngdownt omyst omach, Isaw
himlooki ngupatmeandIknowwhyhewas
doingthat.Het ookof fmyJeanandt hongand
wastednot i
meput ti
nghi stonguet owor kandI
wentcr azywithmoani ng,histoungewas
rel
easingal lt
heangerandf r
ust rati
onIhav e
hadint hesepasty ears, Idi
dn'tr eal
izehow
muchIneededt hiskindofaf fect i
on.
Iscream asIfeel
myor gasm t
akingovermy
bodyandhedoesn' tstopashei nser
tstwoof
hisfi
ngersmakingmehol dontightt
othe
sheets,
helicksmecl eancomingbackt omy
facemakingmet astemysel f.
Hewidensmyl
egsposi
ti
oninghi
mselfashe
put
sonacondom ,
hebendsdowntokissme
andwhil
eheki
ssesmeIcri
ngeasIfeelhi
m
put
ti
ngiti
n.
Mi
ke:
Youokay
?
Me:
Mhh
(
2hour
slat
er)
"
ahhhhhhIcantt
akei
tnomor
e"
Iscream asIreachmyfif
thorgasm andhe
pull
soutr el
easi
nghiscum .
Iturnaround
sl
eepingonmyst omachasItrytocatchmy
breath,t
hatwasneeded.Helay snexttome
coveri
ngusbot h.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
Me:
Mhhh
Mi
ke:
Yousl
eepy,
sl
eep
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
Inser
t85cont
inued
.
.
(
fol
l
owi
ngday
)
Wakinguptogetthekidsreadyforschoolwas
evenmoredif
fi
cul
tt oday,fi
rst
lyIsl
eptreal
ly
l
ateandmylegsar ereal
lynotcooperat
ive
becauseI
'
m alimpingmess.
MnqobiwasshockedtoseemeherebutIdont
hav
etimetoenter
tai
nhiscur
iosi
ty.
Iam nowfini
shedwi
tht
heirbr
eakfastandj
ust
whenIwasabouttocal
lthem ,
theycamedown
thestai
rs.
Me:
Goodt
imi
ng!
Theyal
lsatatt
het
ableandIgav
ethem t
hei
r
foodwhi
leIfedMj.
Nel
i
:Mom
Me:
Mhh
Nel
i
:weal
lgoi
ngt
ost
aywi
thdaddynow?
Mnqobi
:Yeahar
ewe?
(looksatme)
Me:No,wenastoplooki
ngatmel i
ket
hat.
Neli
babyIonl
ysl
eptherebecausewhenIcamelast
ni
ghtyouwerealr
eadysleepi
ng.
Si
ya:
Buti
twoul
dbeni
ce.
Mnqobi
:Ri
ght?Thatwaytheywonthaveto
movebackandf
orthbet
weenyouguy s.
IgaveMnqobiadeadscarebecauseheisold
enoughandIknowhismindalreadyknows
whathappenedher
eandast owhyhei s
al
ludi
ngtowhatthetwi
nsaresay i
ngbeatsme.
Mj
:Wecanal
lst
ayher
e!
Me:Heylook,
mommyanddaddywill
nev erl
i
ve
t
ogether.
Forpeopl
etost
ayt
oget
hertheyhave
t
obemar ri
edandwenot.
Si
ya&Nel
i
:Getmar
ri
edt
hen!
!
Ihat
eitwhent
heyt
hinkt
hesamet
hing.
Me:Peopl
egetmar
ri
edwhent
heyl
oveeach
ot
her.
Nel
i
:(sad)Youdon'
tl
ovedad?
Me: Okayenoughofthe21quest
ions,
fi
nish
yourfoodthedri
verwil
lbeher
eanysecond.
Nel
i
:Younott
aki
ngust
oday
?
Me:
Nobaby,
mommyi
sti
redbutI
'
llpi
cky
ouup.
Nel
i
:Okay
Neli
siweisawhol ejobit
ellyou,
shetal
ksand
askseverythi
ng,shedemandsmor e
att
enti
on, shescli
ngyandneedy.Thedri
ver
arr
ivedandi ki
ssedthem goodbyeasthey
walkedout.
Whewineedanot
herhourofsl
eepot
her
wiseI
'
ll
beawal
kingzombi
e.
Asdif
fi
cul
tasitwasgoingupthest
air
sIdi
d,I
walki
nsi
deMike'
sbedroom andhewassti
l
l
deadasl
eep,
Iguessthi
sexplai
nswhyhewas
gr
umpyy
est
erday
.
Iwoul dbel yi
ngifIsaidIr
egr etwhathappened
l
astni ghtbecauseIdont, trustmeaf t
erfive
yearsofabst aini
ngIneededt hatandheDamn
suredel i
vereditgoodhowev erwhathappened
i
snotgoi ngtochangeany thing.YesIf orgave
himf orwhathedi dandi m get t
ingusedt o
l
ivi
ngwi t
ht hatbutasforreconsi deri
ngbeing
withhimt hat
'sabigno.It
snosecr ett
hatIlove
MikebutIdon' tt
hinkIcanev erbei nlovewith
him orthinkofhim asmymanaf terwhat
happened.
Itookofft
hewhitegownigotf
rom hi
scl
oset
andi wasonl
ylef
twithhi
sTshi
rton,i
gotback
i
nsidethecover
sandinnotimeiwasout.
(
1h30l
ater
)
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an,
wakeup.
I
'
vebeenli
steni
ngtohim cal
l
ingmynamefor
t
hepastf
iveminut
es,Idontevenknowwhyhe
i
swaki
ngup.
Me:
Mhh,
what
?
Mi
ke:Openy
ourey
es?
Me:
AyyMzi
wonke,
I'
m awakear
en'
tI?
Mi
ke:
Ohhokay,
nev
ermi
ndt
hen.
Ther
esacertai
ntonethathehaswhenhe'
s
di
ssapoi
ntedandIal
way sfeel
gui
l
ty.
Isatupl
ooki
ngathi
m.
Me:
Whati
sit?
Mi
ke:
Dontwor
ryabouti
t,gobackt
oyoursl
eep.
Hesaidwalki
ngt othebathroom andinoti
ceda
tr
ayonhissidetabl
ewi t
hf ull
onbreakfastand
somestrawberr
ies,asmuchasi wouldhave
noteat
enthatbutitwassweetofhi mt odoit.
Me:
Mike!
!
Ical
l
edhi
mfr
om t
hebat
hroom .
Mi
ke:
Yes
Me:
I'
m sor
ryandThanky
ou.
Mi
ke:
Itscool
,thatTshi
rtl
ooksgoodony
ou.
Me:
Sur
edoes,
may
beIshoul
dtakei
t.
Mi
ke:
Hel
lno,
that
'smyf
avor
it
eTshi
rt
.
Me:(l
aughs)I
'
venev
erseenanol
dmancr
yov
er
cl
othes.
Mi
ke:
Younev
ergoi
ngt
olett
hisgoar
eyou?
Me:
Youst
art
edi
t.
Hecameandsatnexttomeandwekissedfor
agood2minuteswit
houtt
ouchi
ngeachother
,hepul
l
soutandlooksatme.
Mi
ke:
Whydi
dyoudoi
t?
Me:
What
?
Mi
ke:
Yourst
omach,
thel
i
posuct
ion.
Me:
YouknowI
'
veal
way
swant
edt
oit.
Mi
ke:
IknowbutIt
houghtIt
alkedy
ououtofi
t.
Me:Ihadmyr easonsfordoingi
t,Iwant
edt
o
l
ovemysel fagain,
feel
attr
acti
veandgood
enoughformy sel
f.
Mike:Li
li
anyou'
veal
way
sbeenbeaut
if
uland
at
tracti
ve.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tfeel
thatany
mor
e.
Mi
ke:
okayIunder
standbutIdon'
tl
ikei
t.
Me:
Itsnotf
ory
out
oli
keany
way.
Mike:
Ouch(t
ouchi
nghischest
)whowasitf
r
t
henbecausefr
om whatIknow,y
ouhav
ebeen
anun.
Me:
Shutup
Mike:Wai
t!!y
our
eal
l
ydi
dnothav
esexf
orf
ive
year
s?
Me:
What
'ssohar
dtobel
i
eveaboutt
hat?
Mike:
Okaymay bet
hisi
sanewLil
i
anbecause
t
heLili
anIknewcoul
dbarel
yst
andaweek
wi
thoutsex.
Me:Icouldn'tdot
hatnowcouldI
?Ididntfi
nd
ti
mef ort
hatbecauseIwasal
waysthi
nking
aboutmyki ds.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ry.
Me:St
opapologi
zi
ng,Iknowwhathappened
wi
ll
comeupher eandtherebuty
oudontneed
t
oapologi
zeever
yti
me.
Mi
ke:
Icanthel
pit.
Me:
Doesapeni
sst
opgr
owi
ng?
Mi
ke:
Idontknow,
why
?
Me:
Becausei
t'
sgot
tenbi
g
Mike:Ormay
bei
t'
sbeenal
ongt
imesi
ncey
ou
gotit.
Me:
may
be.
Mi
ke:
Comeher
e!
Hegr
abbedmyhandasheleanedupagai
nst
t
heheadboar
dandIgotont
opofhim.
Mike:
I'm gl
ady
oudi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngt
omy
br
easts.
Me:
Yourbr
east
s?Idon'
tre.
..
..
Imoanasput
siti
nandst
art
smov
ingi
nsi
deme
.
Mi
ke:
Youwetal
ready
?
Me:
Justf
uckme!
!
Hepull
soutthrowi
ngmet othebedashe
pl
acesmyl egsoverhi
sshoulder
sandshov
es
i
tbackin.
Me:
mhhhshi
t.
Mi
ke:
Howdoy
ouwanti
t?
Me:
Mikepl
ease!
!!
Mi
ke:
Roughorsl
ow?
Me:
Ido.
..
.ohhf
uckahhhhhh
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
makemychoi
cet
hen.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT86
Li
l
ian
It
'saSaturdaytodayandIal
readymissmy
babies,
thehousei ssoemptyandboring
becauseI'
m alr
eadydonewiththei
rlaundryand
cl
eaningaround.
Iwal
kdownthestair
sandIfreezeseei
ng
someoneonthefr
idgeandshet ur
nsaround
andIsi
ghinr
eli
ef.
Me:Ha.aNandi
,
youscar
edmeandIdi
dn'
tev
en
heary
ouknock.
Nandi
:That'
sbecauseIdi
dnt,
Ihav
eakey
r
emember .
Me:mhhonedayy
ourey
eswi
l
lwal
kinon
t
hings.
Nandi
:Whatt
hings?Ar
eyouget
ti
ngal
i
ttl
e
somet
hingLi
l
ian?
Shesai
dslowl
ysmi
li
ngatmeandherey
es
roamedar
oundmybody.
Nandi
:ohhwai
t!l
ookaty
ougr
owi
ngt
hings.
Me:
I'
veal
way
shadt
hem .
Nandi
:Thi
sisdi
ff
erent
,whoi
she?
Me:Noone,
Nandist
opint
err
ogat
ingme.
How
ar
eyoumybeauti
fulf
ri
end?
Nandi
:St
il
lbeaut
if
ul,
nowanswermyquest
ion.
Me:Arggyouimpossi
blewheny
ouwant
t
o,okayher
eisath.
..
.
Ist
oppedasmyphonerang,
Ilookedatthe
cal
l
eranditwasMi
keandun-int
enti
onal
lya
smil
efor
medinmyfaceandNandi l
ookedat
me,Ipi
ckedup.
Mi
ke:
Mot
herofmyki
ds?
Me:
ThatIam ,
hey.
Mi
ke:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
Tal
ki
ngwi
thNandi
.
Mike:
Ohhokay,t
heki
dsarewi t
hJesstoday
andIwast
hinki
ngmay beishould.
..
Me:
Youshoul
d.
Mi
ke:
Ishoul
dwhatLi
l
ian?
Me:
Whaty
ouwantt
odo.
Mike:Ev
eni
fiti
nvol
vesmecomi
ngt
oyour
house.
Me:
Def
ini
tel
y,seey
oui
nanhourt
hen.
Mi
ke:
Cool
.
Idroppedt
hephoneandNandi wassti
llstar
ing
atmeandIwasn'tgoi
ngtoansweranythingnot
becauseIdi
dn'
twanttobutbecauseIalso
dontknowwhati
sgoingonbetweenmeand
Mike.
Nandi
:Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
Wit
hwhat
?
Nandi
:Wit
hMi
ke,
youguy
sar
ehav
ingcasual
sexnow?
Me:
What
??No,
whywoul
dIhav
esexwi
thMi
ke?
Nandi
:Goodquest
ionbutansweri
tthen.
Me:
Idon'
tknowwher
eyougott
h..
Nandi
:Li
l
iany
ouwer
ejustt
alki
ngt
oMi
keon
t
hephone.
Me:
Noi
wasn'
t.
Nandi:Denyital
lyouwantbutwhati
wi l
ltel
l
youis,dontstar
trunni
ngi
fyoucan'
treachthe
f
ini
shingline.
Me:
Nandi
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Nandi
:Youknow,
l
etmegetgoi
ng.
Me:
Whyar
eyoul
eav
ingnow?
Nandi
:Youhaveaguestcomi
ngi
nanhourso
gogetready
.
Me:
Nandi
!!
Nandi
:Okayby
e,l
ovey
ou(
wal
ksout
)
Me:
Lov
eyout
oo.
Iknowwhyshei sr ushingtoleave,
shehatesi
t
whenidonttell
herwhati sgoingonwithme
buthowdoi tel
lhert hatMikeandihavebeen
havi
ngsexforov eramont hnowandwenev er
tal
kabouti
torwhati shappeningbetweenus.
(
30mi
nut
esl
ater
)
Iwal
ktothedoorandIal
readyknowwhoiti
s.I
openi
tandhe'
sleani
ngont hedoorsmi
l
ing.
Me:
Andt
hen?Whyar
esmi
l
ingl
i
ket
hat
?
Mi
ke:
Obser
vat
ionofy
ourbeaut
y.
Me:
Wel
lthencomei
n.
Hewal
ksi
nandwewal
ktot
heki
tchen.
Me:
Wantany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?
Mi
ke:
No,
Iact
ual
l
ywantt
otal
ktoy
ou.
Me:
About?
Mi
ke:
Let
'sgosi
tdown.
ArgggIwasreal
lydr
eadingthi
sconver
sat
ion
butIthi
nkt
heresnorunningfr
om i
t.
Webot
hsi
tdownandhecl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
Me:
Whati
sit
?
Mike:Lil
i
anIdon' tknowwhati shappening
betweenusbutIl ikeitandbeingwi thyout hi
s
pastdayshav er emi ndedofhowmuchImi ss
ourfamilyandbei ngwi t
hy ou.Howev erIknow
thatyoudontf eel thesameway, youjusthaving
funandIdon' thav eapr oblem wit
ht hatbutit
's
nowst ar
tingtobe, thekidsarestarti
ngtohav e
questi
onsandIdontwantust ogi vethem hope
forsomet hi
ngt hatpr obablywontev erhappen.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tk.
..
Mike:
Lookit'
snotal
iethatIwoul
dlovefory
ou
andItost
artagai
nbutIknowitwouldbe
aski
ngt
omuchaf
terwhatIdi
d.
Me:
Sowhatar
eyousay
ing?
Mike:Thatweshouldendthi
swhat
everwe
doingbefor
eitaf
fectsot
hers.
Me:
Ohhokay
,Ihav
enopr
obl
em wi
tht
hat.
Mi
ke:
Alr
ightt
hen.
Me:
Ift
her
e'sany
thi
ngel
secany
oul
eav
e?
.
.
.
Tobecont
inued
Ir
eal
l
yfeel
sleepy
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
inser
t86cont
inued
.
.
Mi
ke:
Okaynowy
oubr
ushi
ngmeof
f.
Me:
Whatshoul
dIbedoi
ng?
Mi
ke:
Iwantt
oknowwhati
sgoi
ngony
ourhead
.
Me:
Not
hingi
sgoi
ngon.
Mike:Youact inglikewhatIjustsaidi swr ong
buttobef airanswert hi
squestiont hen. Withal
l
thefool
ingar oundwe' vebeendoi ng,didy ou
everseey ourselfgivi
ngusanot herchancet o
star
tafreshorwer eyoujustenjoyingt hesex
anditwasnev ergoingtoleadtoany t
hi ng?
Me:
Idontneedt
oanswert
hat.
Mike:SowhatI
'm sayingist
rue,wewer
ejust
goingtobef
uckpar entsunt
ily
oudeci
dedthat
you'v
ehadenough.
Me:Idi
dnotsayi
t'
sTRUEsodontputwor
dsi
n
mymouth.
Mike:Lil
ianyoudontgeti
tdoy ou,
toyouit
mightjustbesexbuttomei t
'snot
.Il
oveyou
andthere'snot
hingIwantmorethanyougivi
ng
meanot herchancetobethemany ouneedand
desi
re,
Iwanttomakel
ovet
oyouandbeabl
e
tocal
lyoumine.
Me:
Icant,
Ij
ustcant.
.
Mi
ke:Whynot?
Iknowy
oul
oveme,
whycant
wet
ryonemoreti
me?
Me:Ireal
lywantt
obuti
cant,
idontt
rustmy
sel
fenoughtodoit.
Hesatbackdownonthecouchandhepul
l
ed
medownsitt
ingonhi
slap.
Mi
ke:Whati
smaki
ngy
ounott
rusty
our
sel
f?
Me:Mzi
wonkeIal
way
srui
nthi
ngs,
not
hingev
er
seemst
obeenoughf
orme.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Me:Youpr ovi
dedmewi theverythi
ngt hatI
neededandmor e,wewer ehappyand
ever
y t
hingwasfi
nebutst i
ll
Isleptwith
Terr
ence,andIdidtheverysamet hingwith
KagisoIcheat
edonhi mfornor eason.So
maybebi
gcommi t
mentsarenotf
ormehenceI
di
dn'
tquest
ionwhati
shappeni
ngwit
hus.
Mi
ke:Lynnyounottheonl
yonewhohasmade
mi
stakes,
Ialsomademistakesi
nourmar
ri
age.
Me: "Lynn"Ihav
en'theardthatinalongti
me,I'
m
afraidMikeofdoingitagain.Isti
l
lfindi
t
diffi
cul
ttounderstand,Icouldcontainmysel
f
from sexfor5yearsbutonceI 'mina
relat
ionshipImessup.
Mike:
Ther
ewil
lbenomessi
ngupt hi
sti
me
ar
oundyouhav
etobel
i
evethatandbesi
desno
mancanmakelov
etoyoumorethanIdo.
Me:(
smi
les)Nowt
hati
str
ue,
sowhatar
eyou
say
ing?
Mike:I'
m sayi
ngIlov
ey ouandIwanty
ouback
i
nf actIneedyouback,wenotgoi
ngtorush
t
hingsy oucantakeyourti
me.
Me:
Iloveyout
oo,
sohowmucht
imedoIhav
e
f
ormyself
?
Mi
ke:
2mi
nut
es.
Me:
(laughs)That
'
snotf
air,
sohowwi
l
lthi
sgo.
?
Mike:
Westar
ti
ngfresh,
wedoi
ngev
ery
thi
ngwe
di
dntdo,
l
ikedat
ing.
Me:Yeahwer eall
ydi
dn'tdat
e,whenwewer
e
supposetoenjoyour
selvest
hingswer
emessy
andthenboom wewer emarri
ed.
Mike:
See,
west
art
ingt
oni
ght.
I'
mtaki
ngy
ouon
adate.
Me:Well
notnow,
becauseIhav
esomet
hing
t
hingi
nmymi nd.
Mi
ke:
Thati
s?
Ist
oodupf
rom hi
slapal
sopul
l
inghi
m up.
Mi
ke:
Whyar
ewest
andi
ng?
Me:Ther
essomet
hingi
npar
ti
cul
art
hatI
mi
sseddoing.
Mi
ke:
Whati
sit?
Me:
Thi
s!
Isai
dunbuckl
inghisbel
tandJean's,hiseyes
weresoconcentr
atedonmeasIpul l
eddown
hispant
sandpushedhim backont hecouch
gett
ingonmykneesinfrontofhi
m, Igrabbed
hispeni
swit
hbothmyhandsmassagi ngit.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an
Me:
Youwi
l
lnev
erhur
tmel
i
key
oudi
d.
Mi
ke:Ipr
omisemylove,
what
everhappenswe
wi
l
ldealwit
hitt
oget
her.
Me:
Good.
Isaidput
ti
nghi
sti
pinmymout
handusi
ngmy
tonguear
oundi
t.
Mi
ke:
(gr
oans)shi
t.
..
.
Iputi
tal
li
nmymouthmaki
ngmegagwhi
l
e
massagi
nghi
sbal
l
s.
Igavehim af
ull
blownoutbl
ow jobfor20
minutesandherel
easedgr
oani
ngrealhar
dbut
Idon'
tswal
l
ow soI
'
llhav
etocl
eanmycouch.
Mi
ke:
Damnwomant
hatwasgood,
comeher
e?
Isatbackonhi
slapstr
addl
inghi
m andhe
pull
edmydressupgrabbi
ngmyass.
Mi
ke:
Youhav
enopant
yon?
Me:
Ist
hatabadt
hing?
Mike:
Noforme.
Thi
scouchwi
l
lneedser
ious
cl
eani
ng.
Me:
Iknowr
ight.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyou
Iscream ashei
nser
tshi
sdickinsi
deofme,
al
l
ofitmakingmebit
eonhisneck.
Mi
ke:
Isai
dIl
ovey
ou.
Hetur
nsmear oundandl
aysmeont
hecouch
i
ncr
easinghi
space.
Me:
Ahhhf
uck.
..
.il
oveeey
out
ooah
*
30mi
nut
es*
Wear
elay
ingont
hef
loorbutI
'
m ont
opofhi
m.
Mi
ke:
I'
m hungr
y.
Me:ComehelpmeupsoIcanpr
epar
eyou
somefood.
Mi
ke:
I'
mreal
l
yhappyr
ightnow.
Me:
Why
?
Mike:
You!Youdon'tknowhowhappyIam t
hat
yougi
vingusanot
herchance.
Me:
Notme"we"gi
vi
ngusanot
herchance.
Mi
ke:
Okaywe
Webot hst
oodupf
rom t
hefl
oorandIputhi
s
Tshi
rtonashewor
ehisJean.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant?
Mi
ke:
You
Me:
I'
mtal
ki
ngaboutf
oody
ouper
ver
t.
Mi
ke:
Imi
ssedy
ourscr
ambl
edeggs.
Me:
Okayt
hen.
Iconti
nuedwithmycookingasIkeptlooki
ng
athim andoureyeswouldl
ock,Idontknow i
f
whetherwhatI'
m doingi
sri
ghtornotbutIlov
e
thi
smanandIwi l
lseewher
ethisleadsto.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT87
(
6MONTHSLATER)
Li
l
ian
Idon'
tknowi f"
Bl i
ss"i
st herightwordforhowI
havebeenf eeli
ngt hesepastf ewmont hs,Mike
hasbeenamazi ngandl ov i
ng.Ithi
nkwhatIl ove
morei sthefactthatwej usthappyandnot hing
i
sruiningit.
Wehav enott ol
dt hefamil
ythatwe
worki
ngt hingsoutbecauseIf oroneknowt hat
mybr other
swi l
l haveaf i
tandt hekidshave
beenaski
ngal otofquest
ionsespeci
all
y
becauseIspendmostoft heti
meatMi ke'
s
pl
acebutwehav enotgiventhem anyr
esponse.
"Special
del
iv
eryf
orthemostbeaut
if
uland
sexiestwomanoneart
h!"
Ismil
elookingupfr
om mydeskandt herehe
was,j
uststandi
ngther
ebyt hedoorwith
fl
owers.Hespoil
smef orr
eal,hesendsme
fl
owerseverydaybutt
hisspecial
deli
veryi
s
warmingmyhear t.
Me:
Howi
sitt
haty
ousohandsomeat54.
?
Mike:
Youexposi
ngmyage(
wal
ksi
n)Idon'
t
getakiss?
Iwalkuptohimtaki
ngthefl
owersfr
om hi
m
andplaci
ngthem ont
hetabl
e.Ipl
acedmy
handsaroundhi
sneckandofcausehiswentt
o
myass.
Me:Wellt
hanky
ou(
kisseshi
m)t
heyar
e
beaut
if
ul.
Mi
ke:
Soar
eyou,
thi
sdr
esssui
tsy
ou.
Me:
Wantt
otakei
tof
fofme.
Mi
ke:
Noneedt
oask
Me:(
laughs)betyouwoul
dlov
ethatbuti
ncase
youhaven'
tnoticedI
'
m atwor
k.
Hetur
nsbackandseest
hattheof
fi
cebl
inds
ar
eopenandthatsomeoft
hestaf
farel
ooki
ng.
Mike:Let'
sgi
vet
hem somet
hingwor
th
watching.
Me:
Ayy
yIwi
l
ldonosucht
hing.
Isai
dwalkingt
owardst
hedoorandclosi
ngit
andthebl
indsandwhenItur
nedbackhewas
seat
edinmychairandIwenttosi
tonthedesk
opposi
tehim.
Mi
ke:
Mot
heri
nvi
tedmef
ordi
nnert
oni
ght
.
Me:
Sheal
sodi
dthesamet
ome.
Mi
ke:
Youdoknowt
hatwewi
l
lgetdr
il
ledr
ight?
Me:IknowbutI'
m mor
ewor
ri
edaboutmy
br
othersr
eact
ion.
Mi
ke:
Eishy
ahI
'
m nott
hei
rfav
ori
teguy.
Me:
Ineedy
out
odomeaf
avour?
Mi
ke:
What
?
Me:Whentheyf
indoutt
heywi
l
lbeangryandI
needyout
oall
owthem t
obeeveni
fit
sdirect
ed
toyou.
Mike:
SoIshoul
djustal
l
owt
hem t
otal
k
howeverwi
thme?
Me:Babypl
ease,
thel
astt
hingIneedi
sbei
ng
caughti
nbet
ween.
Mike:Idon'
tthi
nkIcandothat,
nomani
sgoi
ng
t
odi sr
espectmetomyf ace.
Me:
ArggIshoul
dhav
eknown.
Mi
ke:
Knownwhat
?
Me:
Thatt
hesel
fabsor
bedMi
kewoul
dpopout
event
uall
y.Mi
key oucan'
texpectthem t
obow
downt oyou,
theyhaveever
yrighttobeangr
y
withyou.
Mike:Wenotgoi
ngtoargueaboutthis,
Iwil
l
notret
ali
atet
owhat
everyourbr
otherssay.
Ipoppedmyeyeslooki
ngathi
m andhewas
brushi
nghi
shead,damnthi
sman'spri
deand
egoistoomuch.
Me:
Youwi
l
ldot
hat?
Mi
ke:
Ifi
tmakesy
ouhappy
.
Me:
Ilov
eyou.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyout
oobaby
,ar
eyout
hatbusy?
Me:
No,
why
?
Mike:
Let
'sgohome,
Imi
ssspendi
ngt
imewi
th
you.
Me:
Youtoomuch,j
ustt
heot
herdaywespent
t
hewhol
etoget
her
.
Mike:
Areyouforget
ti
ngthaty
ourki
dswer
e
const
ant
lyi
nter
rupti
ngus.
Me:
Leav
emybabi
esal
one.
Mi
ke:
Let
'sgo,
wher
eisy
ourbag?
Ipoint
edtowheremybagwasandhest
oodup
col
lecti
ngmystaff,
her
eal
l
ywantsmehome.
Igetof
fthet
abl
eandhewasdonepacki
ng,
he
hadmybagandcoatwi
thhi
m.
Wewal
kedoutt
heof
fi
ceandgoti
nmycarand
l
eft
.
Me:
I'
m hungr
y,canwegetsomet
hingt
oeat
?
Mi
ke:
Youeatal
ot,
arey
ounotpr
egnant
?
IswearIdi
dn'
tmeant
obutIj
ustbur
stedout
l
aughingandt
hewayhel
ookedatmehewas
notamused.
Me: I
'
m sorrybabybutwhaty
oujustaskedi
s
funny,I
'
m wayt ool
dtohaveachi
ldandbesi
de
Iti
edmyt ubesremember.
Mike:
Ther
ewasnoneedf
ory
out
olaughl
i
ke
t
hat.
Me: Idi
dn'
treal
izethatpr
egnancywassucha
sensit
ivet
opic,
forgivemethenyohh.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
ouwantt
oeat
?
Me:
justdr
ivehome,
I
'l
lor
deri
n.
Mi
ke:Yousayt
hatnow,
whenI
'
m hal
fwayt
othe
mal
l.
Me:
Ayy
bowhyar
einy
ourf
eel
i
ngs.
Mi
ke:
Nev
ermi
nd,
I
'l
ltur
nback.
Ihonestlydon'tknowwhyhei sactingup,wasI
wrongf orlaughingwhenhesuggest edthatI
mightbepr egnant?Ohwel lhewil
lsorthimsel
f
outbecauseIdon' thaveti
mef oral
l t
his.He
madeaU- turnanddr ovet
ohishouseandi t
wassilencet hroughoutandIjustplayeda
gameonmyphone, Idon'
thaveti
met odeal
wit
hagr ownman' smoodswi ngsov er
somet
hingIdon'
tknow.
Igotoutt hecarandwentt othehouseandmy
moodj ustsuperdown,don'tgetmewr ongI
l
ovemyki dsbutal i
tt
lebreakf r
om t
hem is
needed,IthoughtMari
awast aki
ngthem t
oday
butitdoesn'tl
ookli
kethat.
Mj
:Mommy!
!(
runni
ngt
ome)
It
ookofmyshoesbendi
ngt
opi
ckhi
m up.
Me:
Heyboy
!Heyguy
s
Nel
i
:Heymama
Si
ya:
mommy.
Me:
Ithi
nk.
..
Mar
ia:
Heyl
i
li
an
Shesai
dcomi
ngf
rom t
heki
tchen.
Me:Hima,
Ithoughtt
heywer
esl
eepi
ngaty
our
pl
ace?
Mar
ia:
Changeofpl
ans,
butwhatar
eyoudoi
ng
her
emi
ss?
Me:
Uhhm Icamet
..
.
Mi
ke:
BabyI
'
m s.
..
.
Hest
oppedwhenhesawhismom andtheki
ds
r
antohim andMar
iahasbeenl
ooki
ngatme.
Mike:Cany
ouguy
sgoupst
air
s,gr
ownupneed
t
ot al
k.
Nel
i
:Okay
t
heyal
lranupt
hest
air
sandMi
kecamenextt
o
me.
Mar
ia:
"Baby
"Whati
sgoi
ngonher
e?
Mi
ke:
Mot
herLi
l
ianandIar
etoget
heragai
n.
Mar
ia:
Icanseet
hat,
butwhatdoesi
tmean?
Me:
Wegi
vi
ngourf
ami
l
yanot
herchance.
Mar
ia:
Mhhokay.
Me:
Okay,
younott
hri
l
led.
Mari
a:I
tsnotmypl
acetobehappy,
asl
ongas
yout
woknowwhaty oudoi
ng.
.
.

I'
m sor
ryIhav
ebeenqui
te,
I'
vebeenbusywi
th
somethi
ng.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT88
Li
l
ian
Mike:Mot
her,whatchanged?It
houghty
ou
wouldbehappyaboutthi
s.?
Mari
a:Maybeasti
megoesbyIwi l
lbe,
Idon'
t
wantyoutwotomakehastydecisi
onsandend
uphurt
ingeachot
heragai
n.Iknowyoutwolove
eachot
herbutnotever
ythi
ngt
hathappened
wil
lbeer
asedeasil
y.
Mike:MotherIknowthatandwear
edoi
ng
t
hingsdif
ferent
lythi
sti
me.
Mar
ia:
Fory
oursake,
Ihopeso.
li
stenIhav
eto
go.
Shehuggedt
hebot hofusandlef
t,Iam not
sur
pri
sedbyherreact
ionbuti
twouldhav ebeen
ni
cetohavehersupport
.
Mi
ke:
Youl
ookshocked?
Me:YeahIam ,shewasournumber1suppor
ter
butIguessnotanymor
e.
Mi
ke:
I'
m sor
ryaboutear
li
er.
Me: Onethingshewasrightabouti
sthefact
thatnoteveryt
hingt
hathappenedwill
notbe
easil
yerasedbecauseIdidn'
tknowyouwer e
thi
ssensiti
veaboutpregnancy.Why?
Mi
ke:
Idontknow.
Me:
Okay,
nowy
oul
yi
ng.
Youwantanot
herki
d?
Mi
ke:
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndhav
inganot
herone.
Me:Wellt
henl
etmebeFrank,
Iwi
l
lnev
erhav
e
anot
herchi
ld.
I'
m done
Mi
ke:
Justl
i
ket
hat
Me:Yep,MikeIdon'twantachi
l
dbutsinceyou
hav
esuchadesi r
et ohaveone,
findsomeone
toi
mpregnatebutitwon'tbeme.
Mi
ke:
YouandIneedt
ohav
easer
ioust
alk.
Me:
Wet
alki
ngnowar
en'
twe?
Mi
ke:
Imean.
..
.
"
mama!
!!
!"
Webot hlookateachot herhear i
ngt heki
ds
scream myname, webothquickl
yr ushed
upstai
rs.Iwal kedi nt
othegamer oom and
Mnqobi washol dingSiy
aandNel iwasstandi
ng
atthecor nercryingandMj juststoodnextto
hisbrother.Ij
ustf rozeseei
ngSi ya
hy
per
vent
il
ati
ngl
i
ket
hat,
Miker
ant
ohi
m.
Mi
ke:
Mnqobi
giv
emehi
sshoe!
!
Ihavenoideahowt
odeal
wit
haper
sonhav
ing
sei
zures.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!!dontj
ustst
andt
her
e,t
akeNel
iand
Mj
outofhere.
Me:
Whyi
shedoi
ngt
hat?
Mike:Howam Isupposedt
oknow,
gett
heki
ds
outnow!!
!
ImotionedNel
iandMj
outoft
her
oom i
nto
thei
rbedroom.
Neli
:MommyIdi
dn'
tmeant
opushhi
m,Idi
dn'
t
knowhewoul
dbesi
ck.
Me:
Hey(huggingher
)St
opcryi
ng,i
t'
snoty
our
f
aul
t.Si
yaisjustsi
ckhewi
ll
bef i
ne.
Mj
:Hemustgot
othehospi
tal
.
Me:
Letmegoandcheckonhi
m.
IwalkedoutandNel iwaslay i
ngonherbed, she
real
l
yt hi
nksshe'stheproblem.Iwal kedi
ntothe
room andtheywer enotthere.Iwenttoour
bedroom andMi kewassi t
ti
ngatt heedgeof
thebedwat chi
ngSi y
asleep.
Me:
Hei
ssl
eepi
ng?
Hejustrai
sedhi
sheadandmot
ionedmet
osi
t
onhislapandIdi
d.
Mi
ke:
Yeah,
Ifi
nal
l
ymanagedt
ocal
m hi
m down.
Me:Helookst
ir
ed,
weshoul
dtakehi
mtot
he
doct
or.
Mike:Hewi
l
lpr
obabl
ybeoutf
ort
henextt
wo
hours.
Me:Whatcausedhi
mtohav
esei
zur
es?Hei
s
notst
ressedi
she?
Mike:
Ofcausenot,
Iusedt
ohav
esei
zur
esbutI
wasabitol
der.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tknowt
hat
Mi
ke:
Buthei
ssoy
oung.
Me:Wehavet
ogethi
m hel
pbef
orei
taf
fect
s
hi
sbrai
n.
Mike:
Lil
ian!nowy oubeingignor
ant
.Many
peopl
ehav eseizuresi
ncludi
ngmeandthat
doesnotaffectthebrai
n.
Me:
acc.
..
..
Mike:
Accor
dingtonothi
ng,wel
lyoubett
erget
i
ncheckbecauseoursonhasitandyouhavet
o
hel
phim.
Me:Buti
sti
l
lthi
nkweshoul
dtakehi
mtoa
doct
or.
Mike:
Doy
ouev
erl
i
sten?t
hisi
snomedi
cal
i
ssue.
Me:
Whati
sitt
hen?Yourancest
ors?
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!
!
Me:
What
?
Mike:Thi siswhatImeantwhenIsai dweneed
total
k,youal way swanttohav ethelastwor d
,whaty ouwantmostbedoner egardlessof
whatisr ightorwr ong.
Youal way sfeeltheneed
tobeindef ensemode, somet imesIfeel l
ike
youstil
l doubt i
ngtaki
ngt hisroadagain,younot
all
owingy oursel
ftobev ulner
abletomeandI
needy out ofreeandcomf ort
able,Iwon'thurt
you.Letmebeamanf ory ou.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
88cont
inued
.
.
Ipracticall
yranoutoft heconver
sati
onwi th
Mikeandmay behewasr i
ght,
Ihavet oomany
conser vati
vesaboutt hisrel
ati
onshipbutI'
m
reall
ytryingi t
'sjustthataft
erevery
thingthat
happenedIal way sfeel t
heneedtobest r
ong
formy selfandt hatmeansnotshowi ngmy
vulnerabili
ty.
Dinnerisf
inishedandthekidsarealreadyi
n
bedandSi yaisokayhedidn'thaveanother
seizur
eandMi kei
sinsi
sti
ngt hatwegot oa
tr
aditi
onalpersonforwhat,IdontknowbutI
agreedanyway.
Ifi
nishedsweepi
ngthefl
oort
henIwalked
upstair
stoourbedr
oom andMikewaslay
ing
ontopoft hecov
ersandhewassleepi
ng
*ThankGod* .
Iwasaboutt
ogoi
ntot
hebat
hroom whenhe
spoke.
Mike:Youwon'
tsayany
thi
ngaboutwhatIsai
d
earl
iert
oday
.?
Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
esl
eepi
ng.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
an!St
opdodgi
ngt
his.
Isi
ghedwal
ki
ngt
othebedandsatnextt
ohi
m.
Me:
I'
m notdodgi
ngany
thi
ng,
i
tsj
ustt
hat.
..
Mi
ke:
What
?
Me:Okayfi
ne,y
ourightIdohavemytrust
i
ssuesbutobv
iousl
ythatwon'tgoawaysoon.
Mi
ke:
Youdontt
rustme?
Me: Idobutnotcompletely
,MikeImighthave
for
givenbutIwill
alwayshav ewhathappened
atthebackofmymi ndbutthatdoesn'
t
necessaril
ymeanIdon'tloveyouorcommi tt
ed
tothisrel
ati
onshi
p.Igetwhaty ousai
dbecause
alotoft i
meIactli
keIdon'tcareaboutusbutI
do.
Mike:
Ijustf eel
likeIdonthav
ethewhol
eyou
,y
ousettingboundar i
esofwhichsi
deyouwant
t
obeav ailabletome.
Me:Mikethat
'snottruebutIhavechangedher
e
andther
eandy oujusthavetoacceptthatI
'
m
nott
hesameper sonIwas6y ear
sago.
Mike:ThesecondissueIhav
eisyourmouth
,Li
li
any ousaythemosthurt
ful
shitandy
ou
dontevenreal
iseit.
Me:
Ist
hisst
il
laboutt
hepr
egnancyt
hing?
Mike:Thattoobutt heresot herst ufftoo, whenI
saidsomethingaboutNel i'
sgr aduationy ou
said"wellI
'
m nott hebast ardt hatkeptme
awayfrom myki ds"andy oudi dn'
tev ensee
anythi
ngwrongi ny ourstatementandj ust
todayyousaidifIhav esuchadesi ref orachild
Imustfindsomeonet oimpr egnat ejustnoty ou.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tmeanall
thatst
uff
,Idon'
tknowhow
t
ocont
rol
whatcomesoutofmymout h.
Mike:Icanunderst
andi
fthatcomesf
rom a
chil
d,Lil
i
any ouareagr
ownwomanwhoi s
responsi
blef
orherownchoiceofwor
ds.
Me:I'
m sor
ry,
I
'l
ltr
ytopaymor
eat
tent
ionon
whatIsay.
Mike:Il
oveyouMakhumaloandther
esnot
hing
iwantthant
omakey ouhappyandformetodo
t
hatineedyoutomeetmehal f
way.
Me:
(smi
l
es)i
justf
eel
li
ket
hat
'
sthemostr
eal
i
st
conv
ersat
ionwe'
veev
erhad.
Mi
ke:Iknow,
that
'sbecausey
oudi
dn'
truny
our
mout
hasusual.
Me:
Younotbei
ngni
cer
ightnow,
l
etmechange
t
omypjs.
Mi
ke:
Aboutt
hat,
whendi
dyoust
artdoi
ngt
hat
?
Me:
(l
aughs)i
fyoudontwantmet
o,j
ustsayso.
Mike:
Wel
lcomeher
e,l
etmet
aket
hesecl
othes
of
f.
Me:
Tempt
ingbutI
'
m nothav
ingsexr
ightnow.
Mi
ke:
Wantt
obet?
Me:
Idon'
tmakebet
son.
..
..
Istoppedt
alki
ngashestoodupandcamei
n
fr
ontofmebendingovertomyface.
Me:
Youar
einv
adi
ngmyspace
Mike:
Iwanttoi
nvademor
ethany
ourf
ace,
you
havewhati
smine.
Hesai
dli
ckingmyli
psandIj
ustbecameweak
al
l
owinghi
mt oki
ssme,hepi
ckedmeuplayi
ng
mefl
atonthebed.
Mi
ke:
Juni
ori
sinneed.
Me:
Ineedhi
mtoo,
socany
oupl
easegi
ve.
..
..
..
.
Nel
i
:Siess(
coversherey
es)Mamadi
dyousee
myeyecoverIcan'
tsl
eep.
IpushedMi
keawayf
rom meandsatup.
Me:Nel
isi
weremov
ethathand,
whatdi
dIsay
whenyoucomeher
e?
Nel
i
:Yousai
dImustknock.
Me:
Didy
ouknock?
Nel
i
:Butt
hedoorwasopen.
Me:
Wasi
topenf
ory
ouy
oungl
ady
?
Nel
i
:Nomam,
I'
m sor
ry.
Me:
Yourey
ecov
eri
siny
ourt
opdr
awer.
Shepr
act
ical
l
yranoutoft
her
oom andMi
ke
j
ustbur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
Mi
ke:
Youscar
ingmychi
l
d.
Me:
Shesascadycat,
shewi
l
lbef
ine.
Mi
ke:
Your
eal
l
yar
eagoodmot
her.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
I
NSERT89
Li
l
ian
Theysaysomet i
mesy ouhav etot akealeapf
fai
thandI '
m abouttodot hatnoworshoul dI
sayagain.Ov erthepasttwoy earsMi keandI
havewor kedimmensel yonourr elati
onshipand
Icanfinall
ysaywehav er eachedabondwe' ve
neverhadbef ore,al
thoughhewasagai nstthe
i
deaofPr emar it
alcounsel i
ngbuti tcamei n
handyandal soresolvedsomeofmyi nner
feel
ingandourcommuni cation.
I
tturnedoutthatSiy
a'sseizur
ewasaonceoff
thi
ngbecausei tneverhappenedagai
nandmy
boyhasbeenamazi ngalthoughthe
naughti
nessoftheot her
sisstar
ti
ngtorubof
onhim.
Wedeci dednott ogobigthist
ime,sowe
getti
ngmar r
iedintheoff
iceofamagi st
rat
e
withjustthekidsandMike'smotherand
after
war dswewi l
lhaveasmalllunchwith
fr
iendsandf amily.
Mi
ke:
Makhumal
o
Me:
Baba
Mi
ke:
Theki
dsl
ookmor
eexci
tedt
hanwear
e.
Hesai
dsmil
ingl
ooki
ngatt
hem f
ixi
ng
t
hemselv
esaswewalki
nsi
det
heoffi
ce.
Magist
rat
e:WhoahIseet
hewhol
efami
l
yis
her
e.
Mi
ke:
Youwi
l
lfor
giv
eusbutwecan'
tdo
any
thi
ngwi
thoutt
hem.
Magi
str
ate:Noprobl
em If
inditcut
e,howev
er
t
heynotoldenought
obewi t
nesses.
"
Weher
e"
Wealllookatt
hedooranditsNandiandMar i
a
,t
heyaresoloud.
Onewoul dthinkMari
awould
havetoneddownabitaf
terthehealt
hissues
she'
shadbutIguessyoucan'tkeepagood
womandown.
Magi
str
ate:
Doj
oinus,
wehav
etost
art
.
Mar
ia:
Bef
orewest
artIhav
esomet
hingt
osay
.
BothMikeandIl
ookatherandshesi
tsdown
fi
rst.
Maria:Relax,Iwontsayanyt
hingbad.Ij
ust
wanty ouguy stobesureaboutthi
sandleti
tbe
thelastti
me, I'
mtoooldforthi
sandsoisthe
univ
erse,justgetmarri
edandstaywit
hit.
Mi
ke:
Thi
sisf
ort
hel
astt
imemot
her,
Ipr
omi
se.
Magi
str
ate:
Alr
ight,
l
et'
sgetst
art
ed.
Theki
dscameforwar
d,Neli
wasstandi
ngnext
tomewhil
etheboyswerenextt
oMike.
Magistr
ate:
Weal lknowwhyweher e.Todaywe
arej
oini
ngtogetherLil
ianKhumaloandMi ke
DimbainahandofMar ri
ageandFaith
.Marri
ageisnotast eptakenli
kel
ybutI'
m sure
youareawareofthat(weal ll
augh)Mikeyou
canstartwi
thyourvows.
Mike:(sighs)YouandIhav ebeent hroughthis
,wehav ebeeneachot hersst r
engthfrom day
oneandy ougav emeadi r
ect i
oninlif
e,you
gavemeaf amily(looksatt hekids)mydai l
y
motivati
on. It
hankGodev erydayforgivingyou
thehearttof orgiveaf t
erallthepainandmi sery
Iputyout hrough, ForthelongestIf ai
ledto
understandwhyGodent r
ust edmewi thyour
heartuntilIreali
zedt hatourhear t
beatshav e
thesamei nterv
al .
IloveyouandIpr omiset o
keepbei ngy ourfri
end, partner,comf or
terand
most
lyi
mpor
tant
lyaf
athert
oourki
ds.
..
Magi
str
ate:
Lil
i
an?
Me: Iwouldtodecl arefir
stt hatt hi
sist he
happiestI'
veev erbeeni nal lourt i
met oget her
,andIcangi v ecr edi tf
ort hattoourgr owt h
.Althoughtheci rcumst ancesofoursepar ation
for5y earswasnotgoodbuti tgav eusa
chancet ogrowespeci allyme, achancet or e-
discoveroursel vesandwhati simpor tant
.Mzi wonkey ouar emyl i
fe, asmuchIt ryto
conv i
ncemy sel fthaty ounotbuti t'
sTRUE.I
don'trecognizeaLi lianwi thouty ouorourki ds
,I'
mi ncomplet e.Wehav ef acedchal lengesand
wear estil
lgoingt of acet hem butIknowwe
willfi
ghtthem t oget her,wewi llsuppor teach
otherthroughev ery t
hing.Godbl essedmewi th
af r
iend,part
ner, husbandandawonder ful
fathertomyki ds, Ilovey ouandIwi l
lalway sdo
nomat t
erhowmuchwegetmadateachot her.
Magi
str
ate:
Alr
ightt
hose
wer
e..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
30mi nut
eshaspassedandwear edone,
I'
m
Mr sDimbaagai nanditfeelsamazingand
there'
snodoubti nmymi ndthatImadethe
ri
ghtdecision,I
'm a53yearoldwomanandi t'
s
ti
meIgetacl eardir
ecti
onofmyl ifeandt
hisi
s
thefir
ststeptot heri
ghtpath.
Mi
ke:
MrsDi
mba(
kisses)
Me:
MhhIal
mostf
orgothowt
hatsoundsl
i
ke.
Mi
ke:
Comeonl
et'
sski
pthef
ami
l
ylunch?
Me:NoMikepeopl
earewait
ingforusand
besi
deswehavealotoft
imeforShaggi
ng.
Mike:
Smoot h,
Okayl
et'
sgobef
oret
heyget
i
mpatient.
Wegotint
oourowncarandthekidswer
ewi
th
Nandi
andMariai
ntheothercar.
Mi
ke:Idon'
tbel
i
evey
oumademewai
tforov
er
ay
ear.
Me:Buti
twasamazi ngwasn'ti
t,Imeanwe
f
ixedal
mostevery
thinginourrel
ati
onshi
pand
t
hisisafr
eshstar
tforthebothofus.
Mike:Thati
tisandwegoi
ngt
omaket
hebest
ofit.
Me:
Doy
out
hinkCl
air
ecame?
Mi
ke:
Shewoul
dnev
ermi
ssi
t.
Me:Iwasn'
treal
lysuppor
ti
vewhenshet
oldme
aboutheri
ssueswit
hThomas.
Mike:
OkayTodaynot
alksaboutt
heki
ds,
onl
y
us.
Me:
Your
ight,
I
'm sor
ry.

.
.
.
I
'
m sor
ryguy
sI'
vebeenpr
eoccupi
edt
hingsar
e
notgoi
ngwel
lformer
ightnow.

I'
l
lcont
inuethi
sinser
tear
lyi
nthemor
ningI
'
m
sl
eepyr i
ghtnow.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
Inser
t89cont
inued
.
.
Mike:
Excusemeev
ery
one,
canIst
eal
mywi
fe
f
orami nut
e!
Hesai dgrabbingmyhandandIcoul djusttel
l
byhiswickedsmi l
et hathewasupt o
somet hi
ng, buthemustunder standthatwest i
ll
i
ncel ebr
ation,thelastthingIwantistoscream
outloudwi thmyi n-l
awsandbr othershere.
He
pul
ledmyhanddi recti
ngmet ofoll
owhi m andI
di
d,wewal kedout sideandheclosedthedoor.
Mi
ke:
Let
'sgo!
Me:
What
!Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Mike:
Somewher
epr
ivat
e,wher
eIcanhav
eyou
al
ltomysel
f.
Me:Astempt
ingast
hati
s,wehav
eguest
sto
ent
ert
ain.
Mike:Comeon,
thesepeopl
ehavefoodand
dr
inkswhatdot
heyneedfrom us?
Me:
Theyca.
..
.
Istoppedtal
ki
ngashecutmeof fwi
thahot
sensati
onalki
ssthatsentwav
estomyback
andIwaswet, damnhe'sgood.
Mi
ke:
Whatdoy
ousay?
Me:
Fucki
t,l
et'
sgo.
Mi
ke:
That
'swhyy
oumywi
fe.
Me:
I'
m sur
ethat
'
snott
heonl
yone.
Isai
daswepr act
ical
l
yrantothecarandsped
offt
owher ev
erwegoi ng,
Iswearthi
sisnot
normal.
Wher ehav ey
oueverseentwopeople
soeagertohav esex.
Hepull
edupinfr
ontoft
hemostexpensi
ve
hot
elandIl
ookedathi
m andhej
ustsmil
ed.
Me: Thi
spl
acei
samazi
ngandext
remel
y
expensi
ve.
Mi
ke:
I'
m bi
l
li
onai
rebaby
Me:
Nowy
oubei
ngcocky.
Mike:
enoughaboutmoney,
ihav
esomet
hing
worthmore.
Ialr
eadyknewhewast al
kingaboutmebut
theresnothi
ngwrongwit
hal i
tt
lebi
tact
ingand
fl
atter
y.Ismil
edbit
ingmylowerli
pwhil
enot
l
osingey econt
actwit
hhim andwhenhe
brushedhisheadIknewIgothim.
Me:
Who?
(bi
tesl
i
p)
Mi
ke:
You,
stopdoi
ngt
hat!
Me:
Doi
ngwhat
?(bi
tesl
i
p)
Mi
ke:
Okayt
hat
'si
t,getoutoft
hecar.
Hesaidgett
ingoutfr
om hi
ssi
detomine
,openi
ngthedoorformeandist
eppedout
side.
Webot hwalkedintother
ecept i
onandgotour
accesscards,
heisnottal
king,hejustkeeps
l
ookingatme. Thishastobet hemostawkwar d
l
iftri
deI'
veeverhad,damnhehasapoppi ng
veinI'
mintroubl
e,newsalertIwontbeabl et
o
walktomorrow.
Thel i
ftcamet oast opandIfol
lowedbehind
himt oourr oom anditwasasifabigtornado
hitassoonwegoti n,hepull
edmeagai nstthe
doorkissingmewi t
hhistongueonthebal l
,I
wasenj oyingthekisswellunt
ilhebi
tmyl ower
l
ip,Ipushedhi m awaytouchi
ngmyl i
p.
Me:
Ouch,
thathur
ts!
!
Mike:
Ser
vesyour
ight,
you'
vebeent
empt
ingme
nowitmytur
n.
Me:Howisthat
..
..
.(
unzi
psmydr ess)I
'
m not
hav
ingsexwit
hyouaftert
hat,
youjustki
l
ledmy
mood.
Mi
ke:UgggcomeonbabyIwasj
ustpl
ayi
ng
wi
thy
ou.
Me:
Wel
lshi
twasnotf
unny.
Mike:
Babypl
ease(Ki
ssi
ngmyneck)Ihav
enot
t
astedyoui
ntwomonths.
Hesai
dwhini
ngbutIhonest
lydi
dn'
tcare,
myli
p
i
ssti
ll
pai
nful
AF.Ient
angledmysel
ffr
om him.
Mike:Wej
ustgotmar
ri
edandyoudoingt
his
,whatmustIdowi
tht
his?
(poi
ntsathi
speni
s)
Damnheishar
dandforamomentther
eIf
elt
sor
ryf
orhi
m butI
'
m notbudgi
ng.
Me:Idontknow,
I'
m goi
ngt
ohi
tupt
heshower
andgettobed.
Isai
dwal ki
ngt othebat hr
oom andIcoul
dhear
him cur
sing,Isti
l
lfinditweir
dwhenhecur ses
becauseit'
snotev erydayhedoes.Iopent
he
showertapletti
ngt hewaterfal
landIwasin
needofsuchr
elaxat
ion.
Iwalkedoutt hebat hroom dryi
ngmybodybut
somet hingquicklycaughtmyat tenti
on,Mike
wasmast urbati
ngwhi leholdi
nghisphone
meaninghei swat chi
ngpor norshouldIsay
wasbecausehi sey esareclosedrightnowhe
mustber eall
yclosetonut t
ing.Ishouldbemad
thathei swatchingpor nbutallofthi
sisturni
ng
meon, himtouchinghi mselfl
ikethat.
Herel
easesagroanandIwal
kinfrontofhi
m
buthi
seyesar
eclosedsohecantseeme.
Ihaven'tdonethisinalongti
mebutIknowI
sti
ll
gotski l
l
s.Igotinbetweenhislegsasthey
wereopen, Idi
dnott ouchhim atal
lIj
ustwent
str
aightformyt argetandIguesshesensedthe
warmt hofmymout hbecauseheopenedhi s
eyeslookingatme.
Mi
ke:
Ohhhf
uck,
j
ustl
i
ket
hat
SeeIknowmygame,
aft
erf
ivemi
nut
eshe
cameandhel
lnoIdi
dnotswal
l
ow.
Hegotupandt
hrewmei
ntot
hebedget
ti
ngon
t
opofme.
Mi
ke:SoIendupmasturbati
ngwhi
l
eIhav
ea
wi
fe,
soyouthi
nkthati
sr i
ght?
Me:
Nosi
r
Mi
ke:
Buty
oudi
ditany
way.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Mi
ke:
wel
lsoam I
Iwasabouttoaskwhyhewassor rywhenhe
puthandcuf
fsonbothmyhands,heknowsI
dontl
ikethi
sthati
swhyheisapologi
zingf
ir
st.
Mi
ke:NextIwantsex,
youwi
l
lgi
vei
ttome
wi
l
li
ngly.
Gotit?
Me:
Yes.
..
.ohhshi
t
Imoanasheput
siti
nroughl
y,hest
art
s
poundi
ngi
nsi
deofmeandIwanttotouchal
l
ov
erhi
m butIcantbecauseI
'
mti
ed.
(
4hour
slat
er)
Icanttakeitanymore,thepleasureendeda
l
ongt i
meago, hei
st oorough.Ihavecummed3
ti
mesal readyandhest i
llhasn'
t.Ifeelt
ears
for
mingi nmyey es,Ineedhimt ostopbefore
hehurtsme.
Me:
Mikegetof
f!
!!y
ouhur
ti
ngme.
Mi
ke:
(br
eat
hinghar
d)I
m cl
osebaby,
j
usta
mi
nut
e.
Icoul
dn'
tcont
rol
myt
ear
sany
mor
e.
Me:
(cr
ies)Mi
ke.
..
..
getof
fpl
ease.
Hear
ingmecrycaughthi
m andhequickl
ygot
of
funcuff
ingmeandIjustl
aidt
her
ecr yi
ng,
I
wasburni
ngandmyv agi
nawaspainf
ul .
Mike:
Lil
i
an,
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
meIwashur
ti
ng
you?
Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m,i
,j
ustcur
ledupont
hebed
f
aci
ngt
heot
herdi
rect
ion.
Mike:Li
li
anl
ookatme,
whydi
dyoul
etme
conti
nue?
IhadnoanswerbecauseIj
ustwant
edhi
mto
cum .
Mi
ke:
Babyt
alkt
ome!
Icoul
dn'tt
alkIwasj
ustsobbing,If
elthim
cuddli
ngupwithmeandpul l
edthecov er
sup
andItookhishandi
ntert
wini
ngitwithmi ne
becauseIknowheisfeel
ingguil
tyri
ghtnow.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
FI
NALE!
!!
I
NSERT90PART1
Istr
etchmyhandt
ot heot
hersi
deinhopeto
cuddlewi
thmyhusbandbuti
nsteadImeetan
emptysi
dewithanotei nit.
Isi
tuptoreadthe
notebutdamnIstil
lsomepai ndownthere"
Morni
ng,Ihadanemer gencymeeti
ngthatI
needtoatt
endto,
sohav eagoodmorningand
I'
l
lmeetyouhomelater"
Greatnowhei sr unningawayf rom me, hei sin
nostupidmeet inghej ustdoesn' twantt of ace
meandIgeti t.Ipickedupmyphonet ry
ingt o
call
him butitsentmest r
aighttov oicemai l
.I
gotupandsoakedmy selfinabat handImust
saythatwasasmar tideabecauseInowf eel
bett
er,Idontev enf eel l
ikeeatingbr eakfast
al
onesoi t'
sbet terifIheadhomesi ncemy
husbandisplay inghi deandseekwi thme.
.
..
..
..
AssoonasIgoti nsi
dethehouse,ther
ewas
scr
eamingev er
ywhereallbecauseofMnqobi
andNeli
siweanddontaskmewhyMj isin
bet
ween.Siyawasbusyonhi siPad,tr
ustmy
sontoactli
kehei snotev
enher eandClai
re
whoissupposedl
ytheel
deri
sbusywi
thher
phonet
oo.
Me:
Hey
yyy
y(shout
s)al
lofy
oukeepqui
et!
!
Theyall
rai
sedthei
reyestowar
dsme,I
'
m
guessi
ngtheydi
dntnoti
ceIwasher
e.
Me:Whythehel
li
sther
esomuchnoi
sei
nmy
house?
Si
ya:Heymommy, Imissedy
oubutI
'
llbe
upst
air
sfort
hisone.
Idi
dn'
tpayatt
ent
iont
ohi
m becausehehasno
par
tint
his.
Mj
:mom Nel
ist
art
edi
t!
Me:
Wenasi
tyoursmal
lbehi
nddown!
Mj
:Ahhhmama,
bu.
..
Me:
Mj!
notnow,
si
tdownandkeepqui
et.
Hesatdowni
mmediat
ely
,thesechi
l
drenare
spoi
l
edandyoucangi
vecredi
ttoMikefort
hat.
Me:
Oneofy
out
alk.
Mnqobi:Theprobl
em i
sthaty
ourdaught
er
doesn'
trespectmythi
ngs.
Me:
Okayf
ixt
hatsent
encet
henIcanheary
ou.
Mnqbi
:(annoy
ed)mysi
ster.
Me:
Whatdi
dshet
ake?
Mnqobi
:MyT-
shi
rt
.
Me:
Nel
i
siwe?
Nel
i
:Ma
Me:Iwouldknowify
ouwereshor
tofcl
othes
ri
ght(shenods)
Sowhyar
eyoutaki
ngMnqobi'
s
cl
othes?
Nel
i:Ij
ustbor
rowedt
hem,
Iwasgoi
ngt
obr
ing
i
tback.
Me:Howi
sitbor
rowi
ngi
fyoudi
dnott
alkt
o
hi
m?
Nel
i
:Idi
dn'
tthi
nkhewoul
dmi
nd,
weshar
ethe
samebl
oodsoIf
igur
edhe.
..
.
Mnqobi
:Idonthav
ethesamebl
oodasy
our
s!
Cl
air
e:Mnqobi
!!
Me:
Leav
ehi
m,whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
?
Mnqobi:
it'
sTRUE,
ihav
emyowndadandsodo
t
hey,t
hatmeanswedonthav
ethesamebl
ood.
Ihaveneverbeentongueti
edlikeiam ri
ght
nowbecausewhathei ssayingismakingboil
i
nside,
imeanhei soldenoughbuthereheis
tel
li
nghis11yearoldsist
erthi
snonsense.
Nel
i
:Soy
ounotmybr
other
?
Me:
Mnqobi
pleasegetoutofmyf
ace,
now!
!
Mnqobi
:Cool
,
cani
got
odads?
Me:
No
Mnqobi
:Geezmom hei smydadi t'
snotli
keI'
m
goi
ngtoastrangerandbesidesthi
swill
give
youachancetobondwithyourfavor
it
ekids
Cl
air
e:Mnqobi
whathasgot
tenint
oy ou?
Cl
earl
ybei
ng17isget
ti
ngtoyourhead.
ihonestl
ydontknowhoworwhenigrabbedthe
waterbott
let
hatwasonthetabl
ebutitwas
nowf l
yi
ngbutlucki
l
yheduckedsoi
thitthewal
l.
Mj
:Mamadonthi
thi
m
Hescreamedst andinginfrontofhi
m anditis
nowthatitcli
ckedthatNeli andMjarehereand
Nelii
scryi
ngpr obablybecauseMnqobi sai
dhe
i
snotherbr ot
her,whathasgot t
ent
oMnqobi I
dontknowbutwhatIdoknowi sIam notgoing
totol
erat
eitinmyhouse.
Me: Sincewenay oudontbel onghereandyou
arenotl oved,pl
easeleaveandgowher eyou
feelappr eci
atedandifthi
sishowy ouint
endon
treat
ingMYchi l
drendontbothercomingback.
Mnqobi
:Gr
eat,
I
'l
lj
ustcr
ashwi
thdad.
I
'
m goingtokill
thischi
l
difhedoesnotl
eavein
t
hisv
er ysecond,Ist
oodupfrom t
hecouchand
Cl
air
eimmedi
atel
ygoti
nfr
ontofme.
Cl
air
e:Mom no,
Mnqobi
justgookay
,I'
l
lcal
lyou
.Mom Nel
iandMjar
ehere.
Iwalkedoutoftheloungei nt
othegardent hat
'
s
theonlypl
acethatwi l
lcalm medownr ightnow
,whywouldMnqobi questi
onmyl oveforhim
becauseItr
eatmychi ldrenallt
hesame. Isat
onthebenchjustthinkingofwhatjust
happened.
Cl
air
e:Mom!
Me:
Yes
Cl
air
e:CanIj
oiny
ou?
Me:
Sur
e,si
t.
Shesatdownnexttomeandi ti
snowthatI
rememberthatshesai
dther
earesomeissues
withherandThomas.
Cl
air
e:Hej
ustf
eel
slonel
yma.
Me:
Ohhsobecausehef
eel
slonel
ythewhol
e
wor
ldmustcr
umbl
e?
Cl
air
e:If
oundt
hisi
nhi
sroom .
Shetookoutsomet
hingf
rom herpocketand
gaveitt
ome.
Me:
What
'st
his?
Cl
air
e:Ma!
Me:No,Mnqobidoesnotsmokeweed,
he
doesn'
tsmokeatall
.
Cl
air
e:Thenwhywast
hisi
nhi
sthi
ngs?
Me:
May
behei
shol
dingi
tforaf
ri
end.
Cl
air
e:Okayt
hen,
bei
ndeni
alal
lyouwant.
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ou?
Cl
air
e:May
ouhav
eenought
odeal
wit
h.
Me:Zanel
ejusttal
k,Idontwantt
obeaccused
ofhav
ingfavor
it
esagain.
Cl
air
e: Ma!
!.
..
..
..
..
ThomasandIar
eget
ti
nga
di
vorce.
Me:
Awhat
?Why
?
Cl
air
e:Adi
vor
cemom .
Me:
I'
m shockedt
hat
'sal
l
,whathappened?
Shelookedatmeandshewasav oidi
ngcryingI
couldsee,Imov edclosertoherhuggi
ngherand
i
twasl i
keIopenedt hedoorsbecauseshe
start
edcryingsobadt hatmyheartbr
oke, I
didn'
tevent hatmychi l
dwashur t
ingl
ikethis
may beIreallyam notagoodmot her.Idont
knowwhat '
sgoingonwi t
hMnqobinowCl air
e
al
so.
Me:
Shhhhht
ell
mewhathappened.
Shesatupst
il
lwi
pinghert
ear
s.
Cl
air
e:Wel
li
tst
art
edaf
terIhadami
scar
ri
age.
..
Me:
What
?andy
oudi
dnott
ell
me?
Clai
re:Mom pleaseall
owmet otalk.
AfterIl
ost
thebabythingschanged,hestay
edoutal most
ever
y dayandcouldbarel
ylookatme, i
tsli
kehe
wasbl
ami
ngf
orl
osi
ngourbaby.
Wet r
iedtofixthingandforawhi l
ewewer e
okaybutthenIf oundoutthathewascheat i
ng
onmewi t
hthewomanwhoi snowcar ry
inghis
8mont hbaby,andhei snotevenhidi
ngitma
,(
cri
es)het ol
dmei nmyf acethathefound
someonet ocarryhischil
dsinceI'
m unable.
Me:
Howl
onghast
hisbeengoi
ngon?
Cl
air
e:Thr
eemont
hs.
Me:
whydi
dyout
ell
me?
Clai
re:Mom y
ouwereagainstt
hismar
ri
age
fr
om thewordgo,
youwarnedme. .
Me: Thatdoesn'
tmat
terIam yourmotherandI
needtoknowwhensomet hi
ngishappeni
ngin
yourli
fe.
Cl
air
e:Ishoul
dhav
eli
stenedma
Me:Wecantchangethepastmybaby,
whatwe
candoi
sjustpr
eparefort
hefut
ure.
Cl
air
e:Idontknowwhatt
odomom , If
eel
li
ke
mybodyhascomet oastandst
il
l.
Me:
Youst
il
ll
ovehi
m?
Cl
air
e:Yes,am Iwrongt
ofeelt
hatwayand
whatmakesitworseist
hefactthatI
'm
pr
..
..
marri
edincommuni t
yofpropert
y
Me:
Youwhat
?
Cl
air
e:Pr
egnantpl
easedontshout
.
Me:
Howf
aral
ong?
Cl
air
e:3mont
hs
Me:
Mhhokay
,cany
ouexcusemef
orami
nut
e.
Iwal
kedbacki nsi
dethehouseandgulpedthe
whol
ebottleofwater,t
hisistoomuch.I
njust
anhourI
'vejustgott
enmyl if
etest
edmoret hat
i
thaseverdonebef or
e,Ineedaglassofwine
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
FI
NALE!
!!
I
NSERT90PART2
"mom"Shestart
ledme,Itur
nedbackfaci
ngher
andsheshothereyesatmeprobabl
ybecause
ofthegl
assofwhiskeyi
nmyhand.
Me:
Dontask,
si
tdownIhav
equest
ions.
Cl
air
e:Okay
(si
tsdown)whatar
ethose?
Me:
Thomasi
sthef
atherr
ight?
Cl
air
e:Ohhwowhowcany
ouaskt
hat,
ofcause
hei
s.
Me:Okaybri
ngyourhor
monesdownanot
ch
.So,
whatisthewayfor
war
d?
Clai
re:
I'
ll
tel
lhi
m aboutt
hebabybutIdont
knowwhen.
Me:Fr
om exper
iencet
hatisabadmove,
you
needt
otel
lhim nowbefor
ethi
ngsar
efi
nal
ized.
Clai
re:Mom y
oumakeitsoundl
i
keifItel
lhi
m
nowt hi
ngsar
egoi
ngtochange,
theynot!
Me:Ididn'
tsayt
hatbuty
ouareagrownwoman
andcapableofmaki
ngyourowndeci
sions.
Whatyoudecidetodowit
hyourl
i
fefrom her
e
onisyourbusi
ness.
Clair
e:MaIdontneedy out
otel
lmeI'
m grown,
I
needy ouradv
iceIneedmymothert
ohelpme
throughthi
s.
Me:AndIam goi
ngtohelpyou,I
'l
lwi
llsuppor
t
youbutt
hefi
naldeci
sionst
il
ll
ieswit
hy ou.
Isai
dhuggingher, somethi
ngisdefi
nit
elynot
ri
ghtabouttoday,allmychil
drenar
eactingout
andmyhusbandhasgoneAWOLonme, Imight
aswellexpectthet winst
ocomebackf rom
coll
egetoo.
Cl
air
e:I
'
m mov
ingbackhome.
Me:
Homewher
e?Def
ini
tel
ynotmyhouse.
Cl
air
e:MaImeanthomeasi
nSout
hAf
ri
ca.
Me:
OhhGood.
Cl
air
e:MaI
'
m scar
ed,
I
'm notr
eadyf
ort
his.
Me:Bei
ngamot heri
sapreci
ousgif
tand
i
mmediatel
ythebabyget
shereyouwil
lbe
r
eady.
Cl
air
e:Iknownothi
ngaboutr
aisi
ngababy,
l
et
al
onebymy sel
f.
Me:That
'swhyI'
m her
e,I
'
m goi
ngt
ohel
pyou
andyounotal
one.
Clai
re:Thanksmom ,
yousounder
standi
ngI
thoughtyouweregoi
ngtobemad.
Me: Iam (
shel
ooksatme),ver
yinf
act.
I'
mtoo
youngtobeagrandmother
.
Cl
air
e:(
laughs)Il
oveyout
oomabut
want.
..
(phoneri
ngs)
Me:
ItsVuy
o
Cl
air
e:Doi
needt
ost
epout?
Me:
No.
..
..
..
Vuy
o?
Vuyo:
Mnqobijustgother
ehesay
syouki
cked
hi
m out,
what
'sgoingon?
Me: Askhim andfort
herecor
dididnotki
ck
him out,
igavehim whathewant
edwhichwas
toleave.
Vuy
o:Sowhatdoi
doi
nthi
ssi
tuat
ion?
Me:Youaski
ngme,
youhi
sfat
hert
hinkof
somethi
ng.
Vuyo:Li
li
ani don'
tmeani
tli
kethat,
whatimean
i
sifil
ethim stayher
ehei
sgoingtogetusedto
thef
actthatifhedoeswr
ongthatsi
dehecan
runt
omewi t
houtfaci
ngt
heconsequences.
Me:Okayfi
ne,youcansendhim backbut
pl
easetomorr
ownott oday,
Ineedtobreat
he.
Vuy
o:Al
ri
ght,
tal
ktoy
oul
atert
hen.
Hesai
ddr
oppi
ngt
hephone,
Igetwhathei
s
sayingbutam Iwrongf
orwant
ingMnqobit
o
staywithhi
mf ornow.
Me:Ist
her
eaplacewher
eyour
esi
gnf
rom
bei
ngamother?
Cl
air
e:Nott
hatIknowof
f,what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
Vuy
oissendi
ngMnqobi
backt
omor
row.
Cl
air
e:Youar
eagoodmot
her.
Me:
Wher
eist
hatcomi
ngf
rom ?
Clai
re:Justt
houghtIshoul
dremi
ndyou
becauseIcanseehowwor kedouty
ouare
becauseofmeandMnqobi .
Me:I
tsnott
hat,
Ij
usthav
eal
otonmymi
ndbut
t
hankyou.
Cl
air
e:Wher
eisMi
ke?
Me:
Goodquest
ionbutt
othewr
ongper
son.
Clai
re:Ooookay,
I'
m goingt
otakemysi
bli
ngs
outforlunch,
wanttotagal
ong?
Me:
No,
hav
efun.
Cl
air
e:(
yel
l
s)Guy
slet
'sgot
othemal
l
.
I
twasasi
ftheywer
eready,
theycamer
unni
ng
downt
hest
airs.
Me:Whatdi
dIsayaboutr
unni
ngi
nsi
det
he
house?
Them:
Sor
rymom
Me:
Mjcomel
etmef
ixy
ourshoes.
Ifi
xedt heshoel
acesandtheyallheadedout
,astestingasmother
hoodisI'
mv eryproudof
mysel fandmychildr
en,I
'
m nottheperfect
motherbutI '
mthei
ronlymother.
Ipl
acedtheglassont
opofthecounterand
headedupst
airstomybedr
oom ineedanap.
.
.
"
mhhwhat
?"
i
answerannoy
edst
il
lwi
thmyey
escl
osed.
Mi
ke:
Lil
i
anwakeup.
ohhmyest r
angedhusbanddecidedtocome
back,ear
lieronihadawhol espeechplanned
forhi
m buty ouknowwhatI '
mt i
red,I
'
m goingto
beadar l
ingwifeandkeepmymout hshut
becauseinoneofourt her
apysessionshesaid
idontall
owhi mtobethemansomet imes.
Isatupl
ooki
ngathi
m andhewasl
ooki
ngdown
.
Me:
I'
m awake.
Mike:
I'
mreal
lysor
ryaboutl
astni
ght,
ever
ythi
ng
j
ustwentwrong.
Me:I
tsokaybuty
oudi
dn'
thav
etor
unaway
f
rom me.
Mike:i
justf
eelgui
l
ty,
imeani knewyouwer e
notcomfort
abl
ewithhandcuf
fsbutIcont
inued
anyway.
Me:
Doy
oul
i
ket
hat?
Mi
ke:
What?
Me:
Kinkysex.
Mike:
no,i
tsj
ustni
cet
otr
ydi
ff
erentt
hings
someti
mes.
Me:
Soy out
hinkoursexl
i
feneedst
obe
i
mprov
ed.
Mike:
Iwoul
dn'tsayt
hathowev
eri
t'
snott
he
sameanymore.
Me: Ohhhokay,
y oudoreal
i
zet
hatI'
m nol
onger
33rightsoIam notgoi
ngtost
ret
chli
kea20
yearold.
Mike:Nowyoutaki
ngitoutofpr
opor
ti
on,
I
di
dn'tmeani
tli
kethat
.
Me:Itdoesn'
tmatt
erhowy oumeanti
tbuti
f
youboredwithmeyoucangof i
ndsomeone
whocanexciteyouthen.
Isai
dget
ti
ngoutoft
hebedr
eachi
ngf
ort
he
bathr
oom,I
'mt
oooldfort
hisbuti
thur
tsto
knowthaty
ounol
ongerexci
teyourman.
Mike:Ther
eyougoagai
nwitht
hisbul
l
shit
,you
al
way sactli
key
oudontcar
ewhatIdointhi
s
part
nershi
p.
Me:
Sowher
edi
dyougo?
Mi
ke:
Dontchanget
hesubj
ect.
Me:Youjustt
oldmeIdontexci
teyounomore
andyoudontthi
nkIhav
ear i
ghttoaskwher
e
youwere.
Mike:Nowyouput
ti
ngwor
dsi
ntomymout
h,I
di
dn'tsayt
hat.
Me:
Youmi
ghtaswel
lhav
e
Mike:Idontknowwhyy outhi
semoti
onalbutI
'
ll
beinmyof fi
cebecauseIcanseet
hisisgoi
ng
totur
nsour.
Me:
may
bey
oushoul
d.
Isai
dcl
osi
ngt
hebat
hroom doorashel
eav
es
,
okayI'
m over
lyemoti
onalri
ghtnowmaybei
t'
s
t
healcohol
buttodayi
sjusttoomuchf
orme.
"
Lil
i
anwhyar
eyoucr
ying?
"
Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
zeIwascr
yingout
loud.
Mi
ke:
Opent
hedoor.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne,
j
ustgoIneedt
obeal
one.
Mike:I
'
m notgoinganywher
e,nowopent
his
doorbefor
eIbreakit.
Mikeiscrazyhecanlit
erall
ybreakthi
sdoor
down,Igotupfrom thetoil
etseatandopened
thedoorandheimmedi atel
ypulledmeintohi
m
andImustadmi tIneededthathug.
Mi
ke:
Whyar
eyoucr
ying?
Imovedfr
om hi
m andwenttosi
tonthebed
andhecameandsatnextt
omegr abbi
ngmy
hand.
Me:Whatarewedoi ng,
Imeanwegotmar
ri
ed
yest
erdayandal
readywefi
ghti
ng.
Mike:Idon'
tknowbutIlov
ey ouandther
e's
nothi
ngIwanttochangewithyou,whatIsai
d
cameoutwr ongIshoul
dn'
thavesaidit.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryt
oo.
Mi
ke:
Wecool
?
Me:(ki
sseshi
m andhedeepensi
t)We
cool
(l
aughs)
Mi
ke:
Ther
eiti
s
Me:
Ther
eiswhat
?
Mi
ke:
Mysmi
l
ethatI
'
vebeenl
ooki
ngf
or.
Me:Yousosi
ll
y,
butbabydoyouthi
nkIt
reatt
he
ki
dsdif
fer
ent
lyf
rom eachot
her?
Mi
ke:
What
?No,
whywoul
dyouaskt
hat?
Me:Mnqobi
saidso,apparentl
yIhav
efav
ori
tes
andhei
snotpartofthatgroup.
Mi
ke:That
'snonsense,
wor
sebecausehei
sthe
mostspoi
l
ed.
Me:
Iki
ckedhi
m out.
Mi
ke:
Youdi
dwhat?Whatgoi
ngon?
Isatupfacinghim andItol
dhim ever
ythi
ng
thathappenedandIcouldtellwhatMnqobisai
d
aboutNelinotbei
nghi ssi
stermadehim angry.
Mike:SoThomasIsnowli
vi
ngwi
thi
spr
egnant
babymamai nst
eadofhi
swif
ewhoi
sal
so
pregnant
?
Me:
Yes
Mi
ke:
AndMnqobi
?
Me:
Vuy
oisbr
ingi
nghi
m backt
omor
row
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
FI
NALE
PART3
Iwakeupf
rom mysl
eept
omul
ti
pleki
sseson
myshouldersandbackandIfi
ndmysel
f
smi
li
ngatt hi
showeverIneedMzi
wonketol
et
mesleep,I
'mtir
ed.
Me:
BabyI
'
m st
il
lsl
eepy
.
Mi
ke:
WakeupImi
ssy
ou.
Me:
I'
mri
ghther
ebutIneedt
osl
eep.
Mi
ke:
I'
m bor
ed,
I
'vebeenupsi
nce4am .
Nowt hi
smani scrazy,whywouldhewakeupat
4am andt ot
opitoff,nowbecauseheisawake
Imustwakeupt oo,thiswasnottheagreement
ofmar r
iageIswearitwasnot.
Me:
Idi
dn'
ttel
lyout
owakeupear
ly.
Heplacedhi
shandonmywai
stturni
ngmeov er
tofacehi
m,ourbodi
esar
emashedtoget
her
andheissmil
ing.
Me:
What
?Whyar
eyousmi
l
ing.
?
Mi
ke:
Justt
hinki
ngabouty
ou.
Me:
Whataboutme?
Mike: HowmuchIloveyou,youknowInever
thoughtI'
dsaythi
sbutsexisnotanimpor
tant
factortome,bei
ngwithyouli
kethi
siswhat
compl et
esme.
Me:
Event
houghI
'
m cr
azy98%oft
het
ime?
Mike:
Imarri
edyouwi
thy
ourcr
azi
nessand
st
ankatt
it
ude.
Iki
ssedhim andofcausehehadt odeepenit
notthatImindany way,marri
ageiscr azyor
shouldIsaybeingwi t
haper sonforal ongti
me
becauseMikeandi don'
teventakei nmi ndt
he
smellymorningbreathsandallwej ustdowhat
whattakesinatthemoment.
Me:Ilov
eyoutooandthanky
ouforbear
ing
wi
thmeonmyf l
awsandsuppor
ti
ngme
t
hroughever
ythi
ng.
Mi
ke:
Let
'st
akeav
acat
ionwi
thoutt
heki
ds.
Me:Okayt
hatwi
l
lni
ceandi
needal
lofy
out
o
mysel
f.
Mike:
(l
aughs)Yourasswaswhi
ningmi
nut
es
agobutlookatyounow.
Me:Dontpushi
t,babycany
oubel
i
evehowy
ou
hav
echanged?
Mi
ke:
Yes,
you'
vet
urnedmei
ntoasof
ti
e.
Me:(
laughs)No,
Ididn'
tturnyoui
ntoasof
ti
eI
t
urnedyouintoacoolperson.
Mi
ke:
WasInotcool
bef
ore?
Me:No!!!Youi
ntimi
datedevery
oneeven
someti
mes, i
ttookmeal otofti
metoactual
l
y
under
standhowy ourmindworks.
Mi
ke:I
'm gl
ady
ouhappywi
thy
ourpr
ogr
ess
madam.
Me:
(l
aughs)I
'
m gl
adt
oo.
Mi
ke:
Thi
sisni
ce,
weshoul
ddoi
tev
ery
day
.
Me:ohhhhel
lno,
Idon'
tneedt
owakeupat
6am ev
ery
day.
Mi
ke:
Yousuchababy.
Me:
Babywher
e'smyphone?
Mi
ke:
Idon'
tknow,
whatdoy
ouwantwi
thi
t?
Me:
Not
hing,
wasj
ustaski
ng.
Mi
ke:
Okay,
wheni
sVuy
obr
ingi
ngMnqobiov
er
?
Me:Ar
ggdontremi
ndme,
Idontknow.
Youwi
l
l
beher
eri
ght?
Mi
ke:
Byher
eyoumeani
nmyof
fi
cer
ight
?
Me:
No,
Imeanbewi
thmewhent
heyar
ri
ve.
Mike:Idon'
tthinkthat
'sagoodi
deababy,
You
guysneedtot alkt
ohim al
one.
Me:Isawy
ourr
eact
ionwhenIt
oldy
ouwhathe
sai
d.
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eMnqobi
andI
'
veal
way
str
eat
edhi
m
l
ikemychil
dbutwhatIwi llnotst
andf ori
shim
tal
kingt
hatrubbisht
omyki ds,andifheinsi
sts
ondoingsothenhemi ghtaswellleaveand
staywit
hhisfather.
Me:Excuseme!y oudoreal
i
zethati
smyson
t
hatyoupract
ical
l
ykicki
ngout.
Hest
andsupget
ti
ngoutoft
hebed.
Mike:I
'
m notgoingtoarguewi t
hy ouaboutt
his
,I
'mtell
i
ngy ouifhedoesn'tchangehisways
heisl
eav i
ngmyhouse,Iwi l
lnothavemy
chi
ldr
enbemi st
reat
edint hei
rownhome.
Me:
Owwwy
out
ell
i
ngme?
Mi
ke:
Exact
lyt
hat,
nowy
ouwantt
oshowerwi
th
me?
Me:
Youki
ddi
ngr
ight?
Mi
ke:No,i
sitacri
met
owantt
oshowerwi
th
mybeaut
if
ulwif
e?
Me:
Youj
ustmadeast
atementaboutmyson
get
ti
ngoutofher
eandnowyouexpectmet
o
becool
andshowerwi
thyou?
Mike:WhatIexpectfr
om youi
storespectmy
posit
ionint
hishousehol
daswellasmy
deci
sions.
I
'
m amazi
ngmy
selfr
ightnowbecauseusuall
y
I
'
dbesomadaboutt
hisbutI'
m speechl
ess.
(
2hour
slat
er)
"
mor
ningf
ami
l
y"
IsayasMi keandIwal
kdownthestai
rst
oa
wellsetupbreakf
astandt
hekidsatt
het
abl
e.
Mike:
Clair
ey oudi
dn'thavetodoal
lthi
s,Imean
youpregnantyoushouldn'
tworkt
hishar
d.
I
'm sorr
ywhat?Whendidher eal
i
zethat
becausewheniwaspregnanthewasnevert
his
ni
ceandunderst
andi
ng.
Cl
air
e:Dontwor
ryabouti
t,i
hadhel
p.
Nel
i
:Wai
t,y
ougoi
ngt
ohav
eababysi
si?
Cl
air
e:Yesandt
hatmakesy
ouanAunt.
Nel
i
:Ahhhnoway,
I
'mt
ooy
oungt
obeanAunt.
Weal
ll
aughedatherdr
amat
icexpr
essi
ons.
Mi
ke:
Your
uinedmychi
l
d,t
hisi
sal
lyou.
Me:
What
?that
'snotf
air
Clai
re:
Nel
ithi
nkabouti
t,y
ouwi
l
lbet
hecool
aunt.
Li
stenyouwillnev
ereatityouli
stent
oNel
i,t
his
chi
ldtal
ksfordays.Wedishedupandateand
sheandClair
ewer est
il
ltal
king.
Mj
:Mom whenar
ewegoi
ngt
ochur
ch?
BothMi keandIchokedonourdrinksandClai
re
burstoutlaughi
ng,thatwasr
andom and
shocking.Thelastti
mewewentt ochurchwas
whenMj wasbaptized.
Me:
Mikey
ouanswert
hat.
Mi
ke:
Whyar
eyouaski
ngbuddy
?
Mj:Myfr
iendsgotochur
chandi
tseemsni
ce
butwenevergo.
Mike:Tel
lyouwhat,
nextweekwear
egoi
ngt
o
church.
Cl
air
e:Ohhr
eal
l
y??
Me:
Shutupwena!
!
Mj
:Cool
,I
'l
lputmysui
ton.
Ihonestl
yhadnoreasonfornotgoi
ngtochurch
al
ltheseyears,
act
uall
yI'
ml yi
ng.Wi
thMikepast
j
obandal lt
hecri
mesIjustfel
tli
keahypocr
it
e
soIstopped.
Me:
Whoset
urni
sitt
ocl
eart
het
abl
e?
Si
ya:
Me.
Hesaidstandi
ngupandcleari
ngt hetabl
e,Si
ya
ti
l
l t
hisdaywecantfi
gur
ehi m out.Si
yaisqui
et
asamuseheonl yanswerswhati sdir
ectedt
o
hi
m andsomet i
mesyouev enforgetheis
around.
Me:
Nel
iandMj
,yourr
oomsmustbecl
ean.
Nel
i
:Youchecki
ng?
Me:
YoubetIam .
Theyl
eftf
ort
hei
rrooms.
Cl
air
e:Thabi
andIar
egoi
ngt
othescant
oday.
Me:Ohht
hat'
samazi
ng,t
ell
thatspoi
l
edbr
atI
sai
dshemustcomeher
eafter
wards.
Cl
air
e:(
laughs)Okay,
Iwi
l
l.Butmom al
lyour
ki
dsarespoiled.
Mi
ke:
Pleaset
ell
her.
Clai
ret
ookherstaf
fandlef
tandMikeandI
tal
kedj
oki
ngaroundforafewminutesbef
ore
wegotint
err
upted.
Si
ya:
MommyI
'
m done.
Me:
What
?It
houghty
ouwer
ejustcl
ear
ingt
he
t
abl
e.
Si
ya:
Iwashedt
hem andpackedt
hem .
Me:
Alr
ight,
thanky
ouf
ana
Hewal
kedupst
air
sandIt
urnedbackt
oMi
ke.
Si
ya:
Okaymom anddadcanIt
alkt
oyou.
Waitwhat,
fi
rstofall
henev ercal
lsmemom
andtwohewant stotal
k,nowt hi
sisashocker
.
Mi
ke:
Alr
ightsi
tdownbuddy
.
Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Si
ya:CanIpl
easebor
rowaR150,
Ipr
omi
seI
wi
llpayi
tback.
Me:
Forwhat
?
Hest
ret
chedhi
sheadl
ooki
ngatbot
hofus.
Siy
a:Itsmyfri
endsbi
rt
hdayandIwant
edt
obut
he-hi
m apresent.
Me:
buti
fyoukn.
..
..
..
Mi
ke:
Her
ebuddy,
keept
hechange.
Mikesai
dgivi
nghi
m aR200andhesmi
l
ed
walki
ngupst
air
s.
Me:
Whatwast
hat
?
Mike:
Lil
i
antheboyhasagir
lfr
iendokayand
wenayoubusycomi
ngwiththemor alsi
deof
t
his.
Me:
Awhat
?Nohesai
dhi
m.
Mi
ke:
Iknowt
heset
hings,
hehasagi
rl.
Me:
Wai
tthatmeanshet
alks.
Mi
ke:
(laughs)Youcr
azy,
ofcausehet
alks.
Me:
Thi
siswei
rdbutI
'
m happyabouti
t.
(
Door
bel
l
)
Mi
ke:
Letmegett
hat
HegotupandwenttothedoorandIsatt
her
e
smil
i
ngbymy sel
f,myf
amilyi
scrazi
ly
i
nter
est
ingt
hesedays.
Mi
ke:
Babycomet
othel
i
vingr
oom!
!
Igotupandwal
kedt
otheli
vi
ngr
oom and
MnqobiandVuy
owereseat
ed.
Mi
ke:
I'
ll
bei
nmyof
fi
ce.
Me:
Pleasedontl
eav
e.
Mi
ke:
Fine.
Webot
hsatdowni
nfr
ontoft
hem .
Me:
HiVuy
o.
Vuy
o:Hey.
Mnqobi
tal
k.
Mnqobi:
Mom I'
m sor
ryaboutyest
erday
,I
shoul
dn'
thav
esaidwhatIsai
dt oyouandto
Neli.
Il
ookedathi
m andhecoul
dn'
tev
enr
aisehi
s
headtol
ookatme.
Me: Ij
ustdontunderst
andwherethatcame
fr
om ,fi
rstyout
alkaboutNel
inotbeingyour
si
sterthenmenotl ovi
ngyou,
doyouknowhow
hurt
ingthatwastome?
Mnqobi:
Idi
dn'
tmeanal
lthoset
hingsmom ,
I
'm
sor
ry.
Me: Ist
art
edquesti
oni
ngmy sel
fasamot
her
becauseyouaccusedofnotlov
ingy
ou.
Hel
ooksdownnotanswer
ingback.
Mi
ke:
Babycal
m down.
Me: NoMi ke,
thisboydi
srespect
edmeandmy
i
nt egr
it
y, mehismotherwhocarri
edhimfor
ninemont hswhenhisbloodyfat
herwant
edme
tokil.
..
..
Icutmysel
foffasIr
eal
i
zedIspoket
oomuch
andoutoftur
n.
Mnqobi
:Hewant
edy
out
owhat?Abor
tme?
Mi
ke:
Okayev
ery
bodycal
m down.
Mnqobi
:No,
Iwanthert
osayi
t.Hewant
edy
ou
t
okil
lmedidn'
the?
Vuyo:SonIwasstupi
dbackthenbutIam gl
ad
yourmotherdi
dn'
tdowhatIsaid.
Mnqobi
:Okayt
hisdoesn'
tmakesense,
why
woul
dyouwantmom toabortmewheny ou
t
wower
edat
ing?
Me:Mnqobii
t'
sal
ongst
orywhi
chwedontneed
t
orehash.
Mnqobi:
Nomom Iwanttoknow,
youthi
nkI
dontnot
icehowuncomf
ort
abl
eyouar
earound
dad?
Ineveri
namilli
onyear
sthoughtIwoul
dhave
totel
lhi
m al
lthi
sandit
'sal
lthankst
omybig
mouth.
Me:Iam notproudofhowt
hingsbet
weeny
our
f
atherandIstart
edoff
.
Vuyocutmeof fwantingtotel
lhim himsel fand
Icouldseetheinter
estinMi keeyesmai nl
y
becauseIhadnev ertoldhimthewhol estory
wit
hVuy o.Ili
stentoVuy oashet ell
shi m and
hedoesn'tl
eav eathingoutandIhav etobe
honestalt
houghVuy ohasapol ogizedov era
mill
i
ont i
meswi thsinceri
tybuthear i
nghi mtell
Mnqobi al
lthathappenedandt her emor seI'
m
seei
nginhisey
esandbodyl
anguagei
s
enoughtosetmefr
ee.
Mnqobi
:Howcoul
dyoudot
hatt
omom ?You'
re
sohear
tl
ess!
!
Hesai
dst
andi
ngupandr
unni
ngupst
air
s.
Mi
ke:
Thatwasal
otf
orhi
m.
Me:
Youokay
?
Mi
ke:
Yeah.
Hei
sly
ing,
Icant
ell
hei
sfumi
ngi
nsi
de.
Me:
I'
ll
gocheckuponhi
m.
Isai
dwalki
ngupst
air
stohisroom anditwas
l
ocked,
Iknockedl
ett
inghi
m knowi twasme
andheopened.Webothsatdownonhi sbed.
Me:
Youokay
?
Mnqobi
:Whydi
dyoukeepme?
Me:Becauseyoumychil
d,andr
egardl
essof
howthesit
uat
ionbet
weenmeandy ourfat
her
wasy
ouwer
est
il
lapar
tofmeandIl
ovedy
ou.
Mnqobi
:buthadyouabort
edmeyoucoul
dhav
e
sav
edyourMarri
agewit
huncl
eKagi
so.
Me:HadIdidthat,
Iwoul
dn'
thav
emetMi
keand
behappyasIam.
Mnqobi
:I'
m sor
ry.
Me: Ineedy outounder standonet hi
ng,Iloved
youf r
om wheny ouwer eadoti nmyst omach
andIst il
ll
ovey ounow, althoughI '
m nothappy
wit
hy ourbehavioritdoesn' tmeanmyl ov efor
youischangi ngandVuy oisy ourfather,yes
whathedi dwasnotni cebuthet ri
edandi sst
il
l
tr
yingt oearnmyf ul l
forgiv enessandIneed
yout oforgiv
ehi m andst il
l respecthim and
tr
eathi mlikeyourf ather.
Mnqobi
:Youar
eagoodper
sonmom .
Me:
Iknow.
Mnqobi
:Theweedi
snotmi
ne,
idontsmokei
t.
Me:
Itbet
terbel
i
ket
hat
Mnqobi:
Ilov
eyouandt
hanky
ouf
orbei
ngt
he
bestmom .
Me:
I'
mtheonl
ymom y
ou'
l
lev
erhav
eboy.
[
04/
27,
22:
21]R:
HISLOVE
.
.
FI
NALEFI
NALE!
!!
.
I
'm sogladthatthisMnqobi i
ssueisfi
xed
becausehaditnotIdon' tknowwhatwoul d
havehappened.AfterItal
kedwi thhim hecame
backandapol ogi
zedt ohisfatherandMi ke
whichwasv erygrownofhi m. Vuyohasalready
l
eftandI'm si
tti
nginthel oungewithMi ke
whom Iknowi sdy i
ngtoaskmequest i
ons.
Mi
ke:
Youokay
?
Me:That'
sthe4t
ht i
meyouaskedmet
hati
n
l
essthan10minutes.
Mi
ke:
Iknow,
i
tsj
ustt
hatal
otwassai
d.
Me:Iknowandi
twasr
eal
l
ynotni
cehear
ing
howstupi
dIwas.
Mike:
Youwer
enotst
upi
d,y
oumadeawr
ong
j
udgment
.
Me:
Samedi
ff
erence.
Mike:
I'm sureIhavesaidthisbef
ore,
youar
ea
goodpersonbecausei fthatwasmei nt
hat
si
tuat
ioni don'
tthi
nkiwoul dhaveall
owedhi
m
backi
nmychi l
d'sl
ife.
Me: Iknow,butinwhateversit
uati
onihav
et o
putmyf eel
ingsasideandthinkaboutmykids
fi
rstandtheirsenseofcomf or
tabi
li
ty.
Hemov
escl
osert
omehuggi
ngmet
ight
ly.
Me:
Yousquashi
ngme!
!
Mi
ke:
Ilov
eyou
If
inal
lymanaget
ogetoutofhi
sgr
ipandI
st
raddledhi
m.
Me:
(ki
ssi
nghi
m)Il
ovey
out
oo
Mi
ke:
Idi
dn'
tfeel
thatki
sst
hough.
Il
eaneddownki ssi
nghim agai
nandhe
deepensitandIfi
ndmy sel
fmoaningf
rom the
ki
ss,okaythi
sneedstostoptheki
dsareups..
..
"
Jesus,
ewwwsomet
hingsnev
erchange"
"
guy
stheki
dsar
eupst
air
s"
Ihear
dt het
wovoi
cesandIalr
eadyknewwhoi
t
was,Iremovedmyl
ipst
ickf
rom Mi
ke'sl
i
psand
gotoffofhi
m.
Me:
Hel
l
otoy
out
oost
ranger.
Thabi
sa:
Youguy
swer
ejustki
ssi
ngr
ight
?
Me:
What
?
Thabi
sa:Dontl
ookatmeliket
hat,
Ineedt
o
knowifi
t'
ssafeforhugs.
Me:Giv
emeahugandst
opt
alki
ng(
huggi
ng)
Heybaby.
Thabi
sa:
(Huggi
ngMi
ke)HeyDad.
Mike:Heysweet
hear
t,babyI
'
llbeupst
air
sI'
l
lbe
back
Me:
Okay
Helef
tandimmediat
elyhedisappear
edt
he
gi
rl
sbrokeupi
nlaughterandiknewwhy.
Me:
Keepqui
ety
out
wo,
that
'
sst
il
lyourf
ather.
Cl
air
e:Butwhaty
oudi
discr
uel
.
Thabi
sa:
ibethei
sgoi
ngt
oshower
.
Me:Okay,
enoughaboutt
his.
Howdi
dthecheck
upgo?
Cl
air
e:okaaysomeoneisexci
tedaboutbei
nga
gr
andmother!I
twentwell
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat.
Thabi
sa:
Youar
eaboutt
obeonehotgogo.
(
laughs)
Me:Remi
ndmeagai
nwhyIsai
dyoumust
comeher
e?
Thabi
sa:
Becausey
oul
oveme.
Me:
Ser
iousl
ythough,
whyar
eyousoscar
ce?
Thabi
sa:
(smi
l
es)I
'
vebeenbusywi
thwor
k.
Cl
air
e:Shesl
yi
ng,
shehasanewman.
Cl
air
esaideat
ingherf
ood,
pregnancyi
ski
cki
ng
i
n.Sheeatsal
ot.
Thabi
sa:
YousuchaBi
atch
Me:
Youhav
eanewmanhuh?
(smi
l
es)
Thabi
sa:
Okayst
opsmi
l
ingal
ready.
Me:
Wehav
etosi
tdownf
ort
his.
Isai
dtaki
ngai
cecr
eam t
ubf
rom t
hef
ri
dge.
Cl
air
e:Youar
eonenosymot
her.
Thabi
sa:
Pleaset
ell
her.
Me:
I'
mri
ghther
eyouknow.
Bot
h:Weknow.
Weal
lsatdown.
Thabi
sa:
Ilov
ehi
m okay
Shesaidbl
ushingf
rom Al
langles,andfr
ankl
y
shedoesn'
tevenneedtosayit,i
tsevi
dentfr
om
herovert
hetopbubbl
ypersona.
Me:
Icant
ell
,
what
'
shi
sname?
Thabi
sa:
Dumi
sani
Zul
u.
Me:
Whenar
ewemeet
inghi
m?
Thabi
sa:Waitahaaaash,
I'
m st
ill
try
ingtoenj
oy
myrelat
ionshi
p,i
fthepoorguycomesheredad
andyouwi l
lmakehimrunforthehil
ls.
Me:No,
that
'snott
ruepl
usI
'
mver
ypol
i
teIcan
beni
ce.
Bot
h:Who?You?
Cl
air
e:Woul
dn'
ttr
ustt
hatsi
s.
Me: Okayfi
nebutwedoneedt oknowifhehas
goodintent
ionswit
hy ou,
ishecapabl
eof
taki
ngcareofy ou,
cri
minalr
ecord,
whohi
sex's
are.
..
.
Thabi
sa:
Whoaahseeri
ghtther
eisthereason
whyyouwontmeethi
m,hisex'
sreal
lyma?
Me: What?It
'ssafetoknowyourmansex'
s
especi
all
ytherecentones.
Thabi
sa:
Ohhr
eal
l
y,di
dyouknowDad'
srecent
ex'
s?
Me:Well
Iwoul
dn'
tcal
lthem ex'
s,t
heywer
e
boot
ycall
s.
Bot
h:Ohhhhh,
yesmam
Me:Andtheyweren'
trecentbecausey
our
f
atherwaschasi
ngaftermef oranent
ir
etwo
year
s.
Thabi
sa:okay,
youf
eeli
ngy
oursel
fri
ghtnow
don'
tyou?Butmom Ipr
omisey
ouwil
lmeethim
whent
het
imei
sri
ght.
"
Meetwho?Dumi
sani
Zul
u?"
Wealll
ookedupanditwasMikecomi
ngdown
thest
air
sandIdontevenneedt
oaskhowhe
knowsthat,
somehabit
sdiehar
d.
Cl
air
e:Tol
dyou!
Me:
Tol
dherwhat?
Clai
re:
Thatt
hehi
ghchancest
hatMral
ready
knows.
Thabisa:Dadhowdo.
..
.It
houghty
oust
opped
putt
ingtabsonus?
Mike:Wel
lwhenyourdaughterbecomesa
st
ranger
,youwouldwanttoknowwhy, sowhen
ar
ewemeet ingt
hisGeol
ogist?
Hesai
dsi
tt
ingnextt
ome.
Thabi
sa:
YouknowIj
ustr
emembered,
Ihav
eto
meetupwit
hMom i
n30mi nut
es.
Thabi
saissmartbecausesheisrunni
ngfr
om
thei
nter
rogat
iont
hat'
sabouttotakepl
ace.
Me:Alr
ightbaby,
greetherf
ormeandmy
br
other.
Thabi
sa:
Alr
ight,
l
ovey
ouguy
sby
e.
Shesai
drunningoutandIcoul
dn'
thel
pbut
l
augh,I
'
m gladsheishappy.
Mi
ke:
Babyl
et'
sgoupst
air
s.
Me:
Alr
ight,
I
'l
lber
ightbehi
ndy
ou.
Hel
eftandIsatnextt
oCl
air
e.
Cl
air
e:I
'
mfi
nemom (
sni
ff
s)
Me: Ohhbaby(huggi
ngher)Iknowitmusthav
e
beendiff
icul
tforyouhear
ingaboutThabi
sa
rel
ati
onship.
Cl
air
e:I
'
mreal
l
yhappyf
orher,
i
tsj
ustt
hat.
.
Me:Igeti
t,butguesswhat?youwi
l
lfi
ndaman
t
hatisgoi
ngt oloveyouj
ustasmuchasyou
l
ovethem ,
amanthat
'sgoi
ngt
ocher
ishy
ouf
or
al
lthaty
ouare.
Cl
air
e:Thanky
oumom ,
nowgoupst
air
s.
Ilaughedgetti
ngupandIst oodatthetopof
thestairsl
ookingather,I
'
m wor r
iedabouther
sheisnotasst rongasmet hi
sistakingat ol
l
onherbutIj usthavetokeepherher esot hatI
canhel pherwithevery
thi
ng.Shef i
xedher sel
f
andf aceti
medwi ththetwinsandI '
m gladshe
reall
yisagoodsi st
ertothem.
Iwalkedt
otheboy sroomsandMj wassleepi
ng
i
nhisbedandSi y
aandNel iwer
eont hesame
bedtoo,maybeit
'satwinthi
ngbuttheyal
ways
dothis,
howeveri
t'salway
sNeliwhocomest o
theboyssi
de.
IwalkedoutandMnqobiwasbusywit
hhis
books,nowhemaybemessedupsomet imes
buthisMark'
sareal
waysgood,Iwal
kbackto
mybedr oom andMi
kewaslayi
ngonthebed.
Mi
ke:
Thatt
ookl
ong.
Me:Iwaschecki
nguponmyki
dsandsomear
e
sl
eepi
ng.
Mike:
Canyoubel
i
ev ethatwehav
eaf
ami
l
y
andmadeahomef orourki
ds.
Me:
YeahhIst
il
lpi
nchmy sel
fsometimes,
j
ust
t
obesuret
hatthi
sisnotadream .
Mike:IdontknowabouttherestbutIknowI
ai
n'tadream ,
I'
mrealbaby.
Me:
(laughi
ng)Youcr
azy,
whatar
ewewat
chi
ng?
Mi
ke:
Por
n
Me:
wai
twhat
?
Mike:I
'
m pl
ayi
ngwi
thy
ou,
l
et'
swat
chsome
acti
onmovi
e.
Me:No,Iwantt
hoser
omanti
cmov i
essothat
someonecanseehowromant
iccoupl
esr
oll.
Mi
ke:
SlyI
'
llgi
vey
out
hat,
thosecoupl
esendup
br
eaki
ngup.
Me:
Your
ight
,butwegoodl
i
ket
his.
Mike:GuesswhatImadef
ory
oui
nthi
sver
y
house.
Me:
What
?
Mi
ke:
Isai
dguess
Me:
Mzi
wonke!
!
Mike:
Arggfi
ne,
youknowhowy oualway
s
complai
nabouthavi
ngenoughoftheki
ds
naggi
ngandfi
ghti
ng.
Me:
Yes
Mike:
Wel
lnowy
ouhav
eyourownPassout
r
oom.
Me:
Awho?
Mike:Passoutroom ,
yourownr oom t
hatis
soundproofedandhasev er
ythi
ngyouneed,
pl
usyouhav eacamer awhereyouseet heki
ds.
Me:Real
l
y ?
(Huggi
nghi
m)Thanky
oubaby,
but
wher
eisit?
Mike:Wel
lit
sextendedf
rom myof
fi
ceandonl
y
ourfi
nger
pri
ntscanopenit.
Me:Wai
i
t,whyisi
text
endedinyouroff
iceand
whydoyouhav
eaccesstoit,
whenit'
smyr oom
?
Mike:Butbaby,
wear eoneper
sonsowhat's
yoursi
smi neandwhat'
smineisyoursand
besi
desIneedt oknowwheremywi f
eisat.
Me:
Howconv
eni
entf
ory
ou,
butIl
i
kei
t.
Mi
ke:
Iknowy
oudo.
Me:
Putt
hemov
iet
hen.
Il
aidmyheadonhi schestaswewatchedthe
movie,Ilov
emyl i
feri
ghtnow.Thi
ngsarefi
nal
l
y
l
ookinggood, t
hekidsar
egoodandMi keandI
areFINALLYandi meanFINALLYhappyand
contentaboutwhereweare.Il
ovehi
m somuch
andmay beI
'm bei
ngopti
mist
icbuti
bel
i
eve
thathi
m andiareFOREVER