PROLOGUE

Iam i naver ycompr omi singposi tion.Myhi psare

upi nt heairandmychesti sont hebedwi thmy
handst iedont hebedpost .Icanf eelhi mi nevery
par tofme.Hegoesi ndeeperi ntomeandIl etout
ascr eam ofpl easure.Ar oughspankcomesi nto
cont actwi t
hmybut tcheekandIl etoutasqueal .
"That swhyyoumyf avour itefuck.",IthinkasMenzi
keepsonhi t
tingi tfr
om t heback.Igetaver y
i
nt enseor gasm andhet urnsmear ound.I 'm onmy
backwi thmybut tbalancedbyacushi on.Hisgoi ng
todr illintomeandhar d.Her ubshi mselfonmymy
vagi nabef oreent eri
ngmesl owlyr eceivingamoan
from me.I nandouthegoes.Lef tandr ightandhe
circul ates.Hispacesl owbutgi vingmesl owt hr
usts.
Mymoansar esol oudr ightnowandI '
m sweat i
ng.I
am gr indingonhi m ashet hrustsinmeandi t
s
drivinghi m haywi re.Ilikeitwhenmenf eelweakby
whatIgi vethem.Hi sshaki ngandIknowhi sabout
tocum.Hi sgr oansgetl ouder .
"
Cum f
ormeMenzi
."
,Iwhi
speri
nhi
searf
oll
owed
byamoanandIbitehi
sear.Helet'
soutaload
gr
oanandIcum ashethr
uststhroughourorgasm.
Hefal
lsont
opofme.
"
Menziehl
ika"(
getof
f)
Het akeshi m selfoutsmoot hlyandImoanal i
ttle.
Heunt i
esmeandIst ret
chmyar msandmovemy
wr i
st sar ound.Mywr i
stsar eredf rom met uggi ngat
ther opeandIneedt obuymor eoint ment .Igetup
from t hebedandheadt ot hebat hroom t ot akea
shower .Menziwal ksinlaterandIf i
ndmysel f
cravinghi m agai n.Thatst hethingwi t
hme.Idon' t
getsat isfi
edeasi ly.Iwantmor eandmor eofwhat
youhavet oof fer.Icanseehi swor noutsowet ake
ashowerandhel eaveslater.Menzii soneofmy
fuckbuddi es.I'm notinaser iousr elati
onshi p.They
allfailcauseIal wayscheat .Ihaveanaddi ction.I t
s
notdr ugsoral coholbutit'ssomet hingbet t
ert han
that.Somet hi
ngwaymor eintoxicating.I'
m asex
addi ct.Ihave3f uckbuddi eswhi chconsi stof
Menzi ,ThabaniandZenande.Theydon' tknowofmy
addi ctionact uallynobodyknows.I 'mj usta24year
oldPAatKhuzwayoLawAndOr der.I'
m anor phan
andIwi l
lsaythej ewelbet weenmyl egshashelped
meoutt ogetti
ngwher eIam today.Yes,
Isleptmy
wayoutoft heorphanageandsl eptmywayt o
getti
ngajobatt hisl awfir
m.I '
vebeenMrMayasPA
sinceIwas19.Il eftt heorphanageat18andIwas
supposedtostayt i
ll21butsomet hi
nghappenedin
thereandIhadt ol eave.Everybodyknowsmeas
theCOOsPA.Ani ndependentwomanofi ntegri
ty
withabullter
ri
erdogandnoman.
01
UNYEZI
I'
m smokingonaci gar ett
eandIhavet obeatwor k
by07:30andi t
sstill05:00.Iam lookingoutt he
hugestglasswi ndowi nmyapar t
mentandt heview
oftheoceangi vesmepeace.Ial readytooka
showerandj ustsittingont hewoodenf l
oorl ooki
ng
atthesea.Theweat herisabi twindytodayandt he
ti
desarehi gh.Istayi nar enttobuyapar tmentwi t
h
mydogPl utoinBluf f.I
tsar eall
ybeautif
ul
apart
mentandI 'm payinghar dcashf orthis
apart
ment .Plutocomesandl iesnexttomewi thhis
headonmyt hi
gh.
"
JustyouandmePl
uto.Justyouandme.
"
HelooksupatmeandIknowheappr eci
atesme.
Histheonl
yonethatdoesandIl
ovehim.Its05:
48
andIneedtogetdressed.
"
ComePl
uto.Let
'shavesomebr
eakf
ast
."
Hecomesrunni
ngaftermeandIf
il
luphisdishwith
dogf
oodandhiswaterbowlhasf
reshwater
.Ileave
hi
mtohismealandheadtomybedroom.
"For
malpant
s.Shi
rt
.Bl
azer
.Heel
s.Ahwher
e'smy
coat
?"
Igof ortheclosetandIt akeoutmybl ackcoat .My
workpl aceisst r
ictonformalwear ,weonl ygetto
wearcasualcl othingonFr idays.Idr essupandI
makenoodl esasIwai tforPl uto'
sNanny.Yes, my
dogisspoi ltandhasananny.Pl utoislikemybaby
andI '
vehadhi mf orayearandaf ewmont hs.Igot
him afterJupiterdiedandIl ovedt hatBulldogof
mine.Hewaswayt oooldandhi sdeat hhithard.I
eatmynoodl esandIbr ushmyt eethafterbreakfast
.
It06:28andhi snannywal ksi nasIam headi ngf or
thedoor .
"HeyNana. ",
IgreetherandNanai shernickname
wecal lherinthecompl ex.She'sa18yearol dand
theystruggli
ngabi tsoshei swor ki
ngformeso
shecanputenoughmoneyf orterti
arynextyear.
Herfatherwal kedoutont hem ayearagoand
l
uckilytheirapart
mentwasal readypaidforbutIdo
helpwi t
htheirbil
lshereandt here.Herbrotherisa
recepti
onistatmywor kpl
aceandhi sagr eatkid.
"HeyUnyezi .
",shegr eet
sandhercol oredaccent
makesmynamesoundwei r
d.Idohavear are
name.I tmeansmoonandIl ovet hemoon.The
orphanageownerMrMkhi zesai dmymom had
alreadynamedmewhenshedr oppedmeof f.SoI
goaboutmydaysasUnyeziSosi bo.Ikeptmy
sur nameandIhavenevermetaSosi boher ein
Dur ban.Its06:34andIwal koutandt hewindis
blowi ngstrongly.Iinhal
et hef reshbr eezef
rom the
ocean.Youdeser venothingbutt hebestUnyezi and
witht hatthoughtIheadt owar dsmycar .MrMaya
hasameet i
ngat08: 00ti
ll10:00soIneedt ogett he
bedr oom...SorryImeanboar droom excusemy
mi nd.
02
UNYEZI
I'
vebeeninandoutoft heboardroom t
odaythat
whenlunchcameIdi dn'tevengoout.Ior
dereda
wrapperknownasa' shwar ma'i
nDurban.I
'm atmy
stat
ioneati
ngwhileworkingoutMrMayasschedule
tomorrow.Hissonhasasoccergameat15: 30
tomorrowandhehast obet her
e
"Ngekeuphel
elweumsebenziUnyezi
.Eatandyou'l
l
conti
nueaft
erlunch.
"(
youwon'tl
oseyourjob)
,the
l
oudbarit
onevoicesaysandIknowitsMrMaya.
Il
ookupandIwi pemyfacewi t
hserviet
te.MrMaya
i
sar eal
lydesi
rabl
eman.Hei sabout6ft
2wi t
h
broadshoul
dersandaverymanlychest.Hissex
appealgi
vesyouanorgasm onitsownpl ushi
s
darkski
nandhazelbr
owneyesdon' tdojusti
ceto
anyfemale.
"I
'
mj ustwor ki
ngonyourschedul
ef ort
omorr
ow
Sir
."
,myvoi ceprof
essi
onalasever.Thi
sisatwor
k
andIlovethisjobsoIdon'
ttr
yanythingonany
maleemployer .
"
Shoul
dIorderyouanyt
hingsi
r?"
,Isayashebegi
ns
t
owalktowar
dshisoffi
ce.
"NothankyouUnyezi
."
,hesaysandcl
osest
hedoor
behi
ndhim.
Itakeadeepbr eath.Dammi tDar l
yMaya!It akea
sipatmycol dglassoflemonade.Ineedasmoke.I
putonmyheel sandheadout side.Smoki ngisn'
t
all
owedi nsi
det hebui l
ding.Istandaf ewmet res
awayf r
om t heentranceandl ightmycamelswi t
ch.
Ipopbot hswi t
chesandt akeapuf f.I
'
mj ust
standi
ngt heresmoki ngmyci garet
tesindeep
thoughts.
"I
nkosazanaenhlekangakai bhemaugwayi ?"(Such
abeautifull
adysmokescigarettes?)
,aver
ydeep
andintensevoicesays.I
thadt hisef
fectonmet hat
Ineededt oputouttheci
garett
eandsubmi t.Idon't
submittonomal e.
Il
if
tmyheadupandI 'm metbythisdarkski
nned
maninaBr entwoodandaver ywhiteshir
tasifit
s
new.Hiscologneismixedwithtobacco.Asmoker
j
udginganother?Udaki
wel o!
(t
hisoneisdrunk!)His
faci
alfeat
uresareverytense.Hisgotaverystr
ong
j
awlineaccompaniedbyaver ywell
str
ucturednose.
Hisupperli
pisdarkwi t
ht hebott
om onepurpli
sh.
Uponmaki ngcontactwithhiseyesIseetheocean
andthemoon.
"
Areyouamer
mai
d?"
,Iaskhi
m.
Hel
aughs.Wt
fbazal
wane?Whydi
dIaskt
hat
?!
"
Cahnkosazana.Ngi
phi
lalaemhl
abeni
."(
NoLady.I
l
iveonear
thl
ygrounds.
),
heanswer
s.
Ismileali
tt
leathim andheonlylooksmei nthe
eyes.Igetl
ostinthem agai
n.Theocean.Waves.
Themoon.Ti des.Hisadream.Af i
cti
onalchar
act
er
Ireadaboutinmybooks.
"
Excusemesir.Ihavet
ogetbackt
owor k.
",
Isay
whenIfi
nal
lystopswimmi
nginhiseyes.
Iwal
kinsi
det
hebui
ldi
nghur
ri
edl
y.
.
03
UNYEZI
It
sFr i
daytodayandI
'
m weari
ngcasual
.Igai
neda
bitofweightandmyboot
ylooksgoodi
nthese
j
eans.Iwearmyki
cksandPl
utoi
sst
andi
ngbymy
bedr
oom door
.
"
HeyPl
uto.Comeher
e."
Hewalkt owardsme.Nanasai dheisn'
teatingwell
l
atel
yandI '
mt aki
nghimt othevettomorrow.Ican'
t
ri
skhim gett
ingsickatal
l.Ist
rokehim abitand
ki
ssthetopofhi shead.
"Youokayboy?Nanaist
aki
ngyout
othedogpar
k
againt
oday.I
tsmati
ngseason.
"
Asifheunderstandsmehebar ksandli
cksmyface
andluckil
yIdon'twearmakeup.Ihat
emakeupand
Ij
uststicktoVaseli
ne.Iwal
koutassoonasNana
arr
ives.WhenIgettomycarAndr ewrunstome.
"
Unyezi
.Hey.
",hegr
eet
swhenher
eachesme.
"
Andr
ew.Yoursi
steri
supi
nmyapar
tment
."
"No.CanIgetal
if
ttowor
k?Ther
eisat
axiwar
goingon.
"
"
Taxiwar
?Woah.Okay.Jumpr
ighti
n."
Iputmybagandfi
lesIt
ookhomeinthebackseat
.
Andrewt
akesaseatinf
ront
.Ipl
aysomemusi cand
driveoff.Thecarr i
depeaceful
.Wear ri
veatwor k
andAndr ewthanksmef ort
heli
ft
.Someofour
colleaguesarelate.Itmustbehecti
cfort hosewho
uset axisortherouteneartheeThekwinitaxirank.I
wal ktomyst ati
onout si
deMrMayasof f
ice.Ihave
myJor danRetrosont odaycausemyFr iday
errandsdon'tall
owmet owearheels.Iputmybag
onmyt ableandturnonmycomput er.Itakemy
fi
lesandMrMayasschedul eandknockonhi s
officedoor.
"
Ent
er.
"
Itakeadeepbreathebef
oreent
eringhisoff
ice.He
i
swr it
ingsomethi
ngdownandhi sbicepkeeps
fl
exing.Iwal
kuptohim wit
hastraightf
ace.
"
Goodmor ningMrMaya.Youhaveabr eakf
ast
meeti
ngin30mi nut
eswit
hMrKhuzwayo.Meet i
ng
wit
hAdvocateSamboat11:30.LunchwithMrs
Mayaat13:00andyoursonssoccergameat15:30.
Notahecti
cday."
Hewear
shi
ssui
tjacketandbut
tonsi
tup.
"
ThankyouUnyezi
."
"Al
sotheresear
chonthathomici
decaseyou
neededforDrNguni
.Hereyougo."
Hesmi
lesandt
akeshi
sfi
lesf
rom myhand.
"
Thankyouonceagai
nUnyezi
."
Iwalkoutoft heof f
ice.MrMayai stakingoverMr
Hudson'scasesoIhavet ofi
ndawayt ogetenough
proofthatSydneySmi thdidkil
lherhusbandand
stabbedher sel
f.MrsSmi t
hhasadoct ors
apartmentat10: 00andl ucki
lyformeherdoct ori
s
Zenande.Iwal kt ot
hebasementandIgeti ntomy
caranddr ivetotheMkhwanaziPr acti
ce.Iwearmy
hoodieandIseeMr sSmi t
hwal ki
nginthepr acti
ce.
I'
m smoki ngaci gar
ettewhenshef i
nall
ywal ksout.I
walkinsideandt herearepeoplewai t
ingonDr
Mkhwanazit oconsultthem.Iwalkst r
aighttohis
offi
ce.
"Ma'
am!Doyouhaveanappoi
ntment
?!Ma'
am you
can'
tgoi
nther
e!Ma'
am!!
"
Ii
gnoretherecept
ioni
standwal
kinsi
dehis
consul
tat
ionroom.Good.Hedoesn'
thaveapat
ient
.
"
Ihaven'
tcal
ledf
oranot
herpat
ient
."
,hesays
wi
thoutl
ooki
ngatme.
"
Thati
sbecauseI
m notapat
ient
."
Itakeofft
hehoodi
eandhel
ooksup.Hest
andsup
surpri
sed.
"
Unyezi
?"
"
Yes.Sor
ryt
obar
gei
nli
ket
his.Ineedaf
avour
."
Hi
srecept
oni
stwal
ksi
nwi
thsecur
it
yguar
ds.
"
Sor
rySi
r.Shebar
gedi
n."
"
NoworriesThando.Gi
veussomespace.
",
he
i
nst
ruct
st hem out
.
Theywal
koutandIwal
ktowar
dshi
m.
"
Sowhatdoyouneedf
oryout
obar
gei
nher
eli
ke
t
his?
"
"
Let
'sst
artwi
tht
hisf
ir
st.
"
Igrabhim andkisshim.Hedoesn'thesi
tat
eandhe
kissesmeback.Weki ssi
nghungr i
lyandhi
snot
thatbuffbuthemanagest opickmeupandputme
ont opofthepati
entbed.Igottoadmithelooks
sexyinhisdoctorscoat
.
"
Iwanti
trough.
"
Hepullsmypant sdownal ongwi thmypant ies.He
putsmedownandmakemet urnar oundandhave
mebendovert hebed.Hepar tmyl egashe
massageshisdi ckonmyvagi na.I'm breat
hing
heavi
lyandhet hrustsinunexpect edlymakingme
moanoutloud.Hespanksmybut tandIknowhave
tokeepthenoisedown.Hi sgivingmedeepst rokes
andfastst
rokesandI '
m gr
ippingont ot hebed.The
soundourbodiesar emakingf il
lther oom.
"
ManImi
ssedyou!
"
Iam amoani ngmessandIdon' tevenrespond.He
l
iftsmylegupont hebedandhegoesdeeperand
covermymout hasascream escapedmymout h.
Hei shi
tt
ingmyg- spotf
requentl
yandthepl easur
e
i
st oomuchIf eell
ikecr
yingri
ghtnow.Istart
playi
ngwi t
hmycl i
tasIfeelmyselfbui
ldup.
"
I'
m gonnacum!
"
Onemorethrust.Onemorest r
okeandI
'm apuddl
e
asIcum.Myj ui
cesarerunningdownmyl egasI
br
eatheheavi
ly.Hethr
owst hecondom awayand
hewi pesme.Myl egsarewobblybutImanaget o
standupst r
aightandfixmyselfup.Aft
erI'm done
dressingIsi
tont hebedandcat chmybr eathe.Man
Ineededthat.
"Sowhatisthefavouryouneed?Idoubtuzeapha
ngenxayesendeqha."(youcameherebecauseof
dick)
,hesaysbol
dlyandstandsinbet
weenmyl egs.
"Well.
..Yourpat
ientMr
sSmi
th.CanIseeher
xrays?"
"Unyezi?Pat
ientanddoct
orconf
ident
ial
it
y."
,het
ri
es
dismissingme.
"IknowbutIwon'
tlett
hecour
tknowyouour
source.
"
Hel
ooksatmeandf
inal
lygr
absaf
il
eonhi
stabl
e.
"I
na.Uqhibel
euzondi
bri
bengocansiyeva?
"(Take.
It
syourlastt
imecomingherandbribi
ngmewi th
sex.
)
Itakepi
ctur
esoft
hexr
aysandgi
vehi
m backhi
s
fi
le.
"
Thankyou.
"
"
OkayUnyezi
."
HespanksmeonmywayoutandwhenIwalkout
t
hepati
entsar
epi
ssedofandar
egi
vingmenasty
l
ooks.
"
Sor
ry?
"
Thecl
icktheirtonguesandIjustshr
ugitof
f.Idr
ive
tomyapar t
mentf ir
stforaqui
ckshowerthanIhead
backt
ot heof f
ice.MrMayawi l
lbeattheof
fi
cein
anhour.Isti
llhavetime.
03
UNYEZI
Inormallywor kfrom homeonweekendunl essMr
Mayaneedsme.Ij ustcamebackf rom Plut
o's
appointmentandhei ssleepingatthebackseat .
Theysai dhisbodywasr ejecti
ngthebr andIwas
feedinghim.Hehadanal ler
gicreacti
ont oit
.I
normallydon'tcallNanai nbutIneedt obuyst uff
forPlutoplussheear nsext r
abucks.WhenIpar ked
thecarshewasal readywai ti
ngoutsidemy
apartmentdoor .Ili
ft
edPl utoupintomyar msand
seeinghim knockedoutl ikethismademet eary.I
shoul dn'
thavechangedhi sbr and.Iwal ktowar ds
thedoorandNanahel psmei n.IputPl utoonhi s
sleepingbagi nhi sroom.It ookt hepacketofdog
foodoutofhi sroom.Isai dbyet oNanaandt hrew
thedogf oodoutonmywayt ot hecar .Iam get ting
him backonhi susualbr and.Idr i
vet oPavi li
on
whi chisqui tefarf r
om wher eIst ay.I'
ml i
steningt o
NowandFor everbydr ake.Thatdogi sal lIgotandI
puthi sli
featr i
sk.Ifoundapar kingspotand
calmedmysel fdownbef oresteppingoutoft hecar .
Iwasn' tevendr essedt obeher ebutIdi dn'
tgi vea
fuck.Iwor emybl acksweat pantswi thaver yhuge
hoodi ethatbel ongedt oThabaniwi thmyai rforce
andmyaf r
oi samess.Iwal ktowar dst hepetst ore
andIbuyhi m af ewt oysandhi susualdogf ood.I
pushmyt r
ol l
eyt oWool worths.Ineedj erseysas
wint eri
scl ose.Dur banr eallyisn'tcoldbutI 'm
scar edofthecol d.Ibuyaf ewj erseys,jeansand
formalpant s.Ialsodon' tforgetsomeunder
garment s.Icr ushsomeonet r
olleywi thmi ne.
"
Sor
ryaunt
y."
Saysadeepvoi
ce.Aunt
y?Thi
schi
ldi
stal
lert
han
me.
"
Wat
chwereyougoingNkosi
nat
hi.UphiuLanga?
",a
f
ami
li
arvoi
ceri
ngsout.
OureyesmeetandIseet heocean.Themooni s
st
illt
herejustt
hatitshi
nesbright
erthi
sti
me
aroundandt heti
desseem veryhi
gh.Onlyone
humanbei ngcanhavemeswi mmingintheocean
i
nhi seyeswhilestandi
nginthemiddleofastore.
"
Wemeetagai
n."
,hesaysbr
eaki
ngmef
rom my
t
rance.
"Andyou'r
estil
lwear
ingt
hoseBr
ent
woodpant
s."
,I
sayjoki
ngly.
Theguyhecal l
edNkosi nathil
aughsandhesmi l
es.
IswearIj ustgotanorgasm whi lestandingr i
ght
here.I
'veneverseenasmi lesoent i
cingbef ore.I
thi
nkhenot i
cedhowIcl enchedmyl egst ogether
andhowmybr eathehadqui ckened.Dammi tUnyezi!
Getagr i
p!Hi ssmilesgetbiggerandhi sdi mplesget
deeperandt heoceanbet weenmyl egsexpands.
Nkosinathisensingtheatmospher ewal ksaway.No
manhaseverhadmef eeli
nglikethi
s.Noman
04
UNYEZI
Itsabout00:20andI '
vej ustfi
nishedsmoki ng8
cigaret
tesandI'm smoki nganot herone.Ihada
nightmareactual
lymor eli
keaf lashbackandI '
ve
beenupeversi nce.Justonei ncidentandit
changedmywhol elife.IthappenedwhenIwas17
ti
llIwas18andIr an.Itsoneofmydemonst hat
keepchasingme.Wher eismyweed?Ist andup
andgoopenupmydr awer .Ihave5j oint
sleftandI
takeoneandIpl ayPabl obyBi gstarftZocciCoke
Dope.
"Idon'ttr
ustnobody.Feell
ikeal
lmyniggas
switchingonme.Al lmylif
eI'
vebeenchasing
money.Coul dneverleavemylif
einpeace.If
eel
like
Pablo."
Ihaveredlight
soninmyr oom andIf eelli
keI'
min
hell
.Menonl yseewhat '
sbetweenyourl egs.They
feelent
it
ledtoourbodies.Theyuset heirstr
ength
forthewrongreasons.I'
dbechar gedwi thhomici
de
beforel
etti
nganothertouchmewi t
houtmyconsent .
Iruntheshownow.Ichoosewhoget sinbet ween
myt highs.Ihavebeeni nloveoncebuti tdidn't
wor kcauseIwasneversat isf
iedImetZenande.I
l
ookatt hescaronmyi nnerthigh.Unyezidon't
thi
nkabouti t.Iam lookingatthemoonandIf eel
content.Ilookatthescenebef or eme.Gl i
steni
ng
moon, beautif
uloceanandshi ningstars.
Langalakhelihl
e.Ifeelli
keI'
ml ookinginhiseyes
ri
ghtnow.Igetdi sturbedbyaphonecal l.It
sabout
01:43r i
ghtnow.Itsanunknownnumber .Itakethe
call
.
"
UnyeziSosi
bo.
"
"
MaGemaomuhl
e."(
Beaut
if
ul)
Ir
ecogni
set
hevoi
cer
ightaway.
"
Thatwasf
ast
."
Ihearhi
m chuckl
eont
heot
hersi
de.
"
I'
m ar
esour
cef
ulman.
"
"
Icanneverdi
sagree.Coul
dn'
tyouwai
tti
ll
t
omorr
owt ocall
?"
"
Thewi
ckeddoesn'
tsl
eepMaGema.Fut
hi
bengi
funaukuzwai
phi
mbol
akho.
"(Pl
usIwant
edt
o
hearyourvoi
ce.
)
Ismi
leatt
his.
"
OkayKhuzwayo.
"
"Yazingizokuzhada.Ngi
kujabul
iseukhohl
weyonke
i
nhlunguowadl ul
akuyo.
"(YouknowI '
llmarryyou.
I'
llmakeyousohappyyousohappyyou' l
lforget
everyt
hingyou'vebeenthrough.
)
If
eelt
ear
swellup.Typi
calZul
umanthinksever
y
womanneedsmarri
agetosavethem.
"
Langalakhel
ihl
e.Youdon'
tevenknowmet
hat
wel
l.
",myvoiceisful
lofemoti
ons.
"
Iknowal
otmor
ethanyoucoul
dimagi
ne.
"
Idon'
tknowhowtorepl
ytothat
.Ther
eisnowayhe
canknowanyt
hingaboutme.
"MaGema.Ngi
cel
aukukukhi
pakusasa.
"(CanIt
ake
yououtt
omorr
ow.)
Itwasastat
ementandIcansensefrom the
author
it
yinhisvoi
cet
hatIcantdecl
ine.
"
OkayKhuzwayo.
"
"Ul
alekahl
eucishel
ont
sangu.
"(
sleepwel
landput
outthatj
oint
.)
BeforeIcanaskhowheknowst hishecut sthecall
andIhearacardr ivi
ngoff.Igopeekatt hewi ndow.
Itsablackgolfanditl
eavesthecompl ex.Noway
thatwasLanga.Howwoul dheknowwher eIli
ved?
Dummyhewasabl etogetyournumber si naday.I
closethewindowsandputoutt hejointandIf allon
mybed.Myhandhangi ngont hesideoft hebed
andIf eelt
hedemonundermybedgr aspingi t
.Ifal
l
asleepwhilehigh.

WhenIwakePl
utoi
sli
cki
ngmyf
ace.
"
Plut
o!Letmesl
eep!
"
Hest
art
sbar
kingandmovi
ngar
oundmybed.
"
Okayokay!I
'
m up!I
'
m up!
"
Hewagshi stai
lseei
ngI
'
m up.Iheadf
ort
he
bat
hroom wit
hhim onmytai
l.Ibr
ushmyteet
hand
washmyf ace.
"
Whyar
eyousohappy?
"
Iaskhi
m ashekeepswagginghi
stal
esideways.
Hegoestothegl
asswallandst
art
sbarki
ngatit.
"
Ah.Youwannat
akeawal
kwi
thmamidon'
tyou?
"
HebarksandIgivenhi
m wat erandfoodfi
rstand
whi
lehiseat
ingIwearmyt racksui
ts.Igot
ohi s
r
oom andItakehisdogleash.
"
Comebuddy.Let
'sgo.
"
Iputthel eashonhi m andweheadoutt he
apartment .Wegetdownt hesmallfl
ightofstairs.I
am metbymydownst air
sneighborandwegr eet
eachot her.I'
m notreall
yclosetoanyone.Ikeept o
myselfmost l
ysoIdon' tl
etanyonein.Isignoutat
thegateandweheadf orthebeach.Assoonashi s
pawst oucht hesoilheisbarkingandspi nni
ng
aroundi ncircl
es.
"
Don'
tyoul
ovet
hebeach.
"
Wet
akeawal
kandpl
ayher
eandt
her
e.
"
Timet
ogohomePl
uto.Comeon.
"
Iputhi
m onhi
sleashagai
nandweheadbackt
o
thecompl ex.Ineedtowashmyhai r.Pl
utopushed
meont hegr oundnowmyhadhasseasand.He
dr i
nkswat erwhenheent er
sthehouse.Igotakea
bat h.Ij
ustsoakmysel fandIrememberthatIhave
adat etoday.ItsSundayandIhopehisnotgonna
takemet ochurch.Igrabmyphoneandcal lhi
m.It
ringsonce.
"
MaGema"
Ihearcommot
ioni
nthebackgr
ound.
"BabauNkosi
nat
hiuyangshaya!
"aki
dshout
sint
he
backgr
ound.
"
MshayenawemanLanga!
",heshout
sback.
"
Hai
bonj
aloKhuzwayo.Khuzaabant
wana.
"
Hemumblesbefor
ehestar
tsshout
ingat
Nkosi
nat
hi.I
tgr
owssi
lentontheot
hersi
de.
"
MaGema.
"
"
Unj
ani
?"(
Howar
eyou?
)
"
Ngi
ri
ghtwenaunj
ani
?"(
I'
m al
ri
ghtandyou?
)
"
I'
m okay.Whatt
imear
ewemeet
ingup?Wher
ear
e
wemeet
ing?Whatshoul
dIwear
?"
"I
'
llf
etchyouat12:
30.Wearcasualcomf
ort
abl
e
cl
othes.
"
"Iwoul
dsendmyaddressbutsomet
hingt
ell
sme
youalr
eadyknowwhereIl
ive.
"
Helaughsatt
hisanditsbeauti
fuldeepandhusky
ki
ndoflaught
er.HayiUnyezi
!
"
Ngi
zokufounel
abesengi
ngaphandl
."(
I'
llcal
lwhen
I
'
m out
side.
)
Wedr opthecal lafterbyes.Thi sisadanger ousbut
veryexci t
ingr outeI'mt aki
ng.I'vebeenf eeli
ng
differentlately.LikeIdon' tcraveal lt
heot her sthe
same.Thel astt imeIhadsexwasFr idaywi t
h
Zenande.Ist illhavet haturgef orsexbuti tsasif
mybodywant ssomeoneel se.I tfeel
sl i
keIhave
anot heraddi ction.Letmest opt hinki
ngmuchi nto
this.Maybemyaddi cti
onisjustsubsi di
ngabi t
.I
startcooki ngsof tporri
dgeandIam ni bblingona
muf f
in.Iam goi ngthroughmyI nstagram andIhave
aDM f rom Puma.
"
DearUnyezi
_Sosi
bo
Wewouldli
keyout obeanambassadorf orour
cl
othi
ngl
ine.Wewi l
lsponsoryouwithnewdealsof
Pumawear.Youwi l
lreceiveaR10000permonth.
Andyouwillhave30%of fourmer
chandise.

Pleaserepl
yandifyouagr
eewewoul
dsendt
he
necessaryi
nfor
mation.
PumaCl
othi
ngLabel
"
I'
m shookr i
ghtnow.YesIdohaveabout7k
foll
ower sonI nstabutmna?Unyezi ?Sponsor edby
Puma?Iwantt heextracash!Isendar eplyandI
uploadaf ewpicturesofmeandPl utothanIexi t
i
nst a.Idishupwhent hesof tporri
dgei sr eadyandI
eatpeacef ull
y.Af t
ereat
ingIwasht hedi shesand
cleansar oundt heapart
ment .I
t'
s11: 59andIst i
ll
don'tknowwhatt owear.Ioptf ormybl ackcargo
pant swithat urtl
eneck.Shoes?Mi lit
aryboot s.It
s
kindacol doutsidesoIchooseabl ackdeni mj acket
.
Myhai ri
sanestsoIbr aiditnicelyandIputona
blackbeani e.Ineedtomakeanappoi ntmentwi th
t
hehai
rdr
eser
.Pl
utoi
slooki
ngatmequest
ionabl
y.
"What?Ihaveadatebutdon'
tworr
yNanasaid
she'
llcometakeyoutothedogpar
ktoday.I
tsdog
daytodaysotheyopen.
"
Hewagshistailandstartspi
nni
ngaround.Il
augh
athi
sbehavi
or.Hepr obablymetaf
emal e
compani
on.I
ts12: 30whenmyphoner ings.
"
Unyezi
."
"
Ngi
ngaphandl
e."(
I'
m out
side.
)
"
Okay.Ngi
yeza.
"(I
'
m comi
ng)
Heisverypunctual.Iwalkoutwit
hPl utoonhis
l
eashandIseehi ml eavingonaMer cedesBenzold
school
.Nice.Hiswear i
ngblackl
evisjeanstoday
andhehasbr ackets.Heshouldstopwear i
ngthat
Brent
wood.Hiswear i
ngahoodieandi tfi
ts
perf
ectl
y.Godthosear ms!Henoticesusast he
gateopens.Wherei sNana?Thisdogi ssohappy
hispul
li
ngonhi sleash.
"
Plut
o.Behave.
"
Hel
ist
enst
omeandst
andsst
il
lbuthi
stai
lisst
il
l
waggi
ng.Hewal
kst
owar
dsus.
"
Sihambanenj
a?"(
Wet
aki
ngt
hedog?
)
IshakemyheadasPl
utowant
stoj
umponhi
m.
"
Plut
o.Si
t.
"
Hewhinesandsitsdown.Helovesmeeti
ngnew
peopl
ehef or
getshismanner
s.Langabendsover
andbrushesPlut
o'scoat
.
"
Inhl
einj
ayakho.
"(Yourdogi
sbeaut
if
ul.
)
"
Thankyou.
"
IseeNanar
unni
ngourway.Thegat
eopensand
andshehur
ri
est
owardsus.
"
Sor
ryUnyezi
."
,sheapol
ogi
zes.
"I
tsokay.
",Ipassi
ngt
hel
eashandPl
uto'
sbagof
goodi
es.
Ikneeldown.
"
Bye.I
'
llseeyouwhenIcomebackal
ri
ght
?"
Hel
icksmycheek.
"
Plut
o!"
Ilaughandwi
pemycheekwi
thsomet
issue.Iwal
k
towardshi
scar
.
"
Sowher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"
"
KwaMashuShi
sanyama.
"
I'
veneverbeentherebefor
eandIheardit
sa
dangeroustownshipevenuMlazii
sbett
er.Il
ookat
him scept
ical
lyandhelooksatme.
"
Ungabinenki
nga.Uhambanami
.Ir
unKwamashu.
"
(
Donwor r
y.Youwithme.
)
"
That
'
sar
edf
lag.
"
Hel
aughsatt
hatandshr
ugsi
tof
f.
"Andyouwon'tl
eavemealoneeveni
fyouknewI
wasagangl or
d.You'
veswam i
nmyeyes.Once
youentermyoceanyoucanneverl
eave.
",
hesays
randomly.
"
Wel
lar
eyouagangl
ord.
",Iaskcur
ious.
"
Nonothi
ngl
iket
hat
."
,andhi
stonet
ell
smet
he
t
opi
cisdi
smi
ssed.
Heput
ssomemusi
conandi
tsMaskandi
.Lor
dI'
m
gonnadi
e.
"Ngithengiqalaukuk'bonantokazingangazjuzoba
umf aziwami .Ngiyaziukut
himinanawe
sidalel
wenest handwasami .Ngizokushada
ngikunikeinj
abulo."(Iknewthefir
stti
meIsawyou
thatIwasgonnamar ryyou.Iknowwemeantt obe
myl ove.I'
l
lmar ryyouandmakeyouhappy. )
,he
singsalongt othi
ssong.
Ijustadmirehim andInoticehiswear i
ngoneof
thoseLacostesneakersthatar everyexpensi
ve.
Thismani sri
chIgi veyout hatjustabadtasteof
fashion.Inot
icehishoodiei sactual
lyaVersace
oneandIl ookathim.
"
Wangbhekakanjal
oyindaba?
"(Whyar
eyou
l
ooki
ngatmelikethat
?)
"
Whatdoyoudo?Yourj
oboccupat
ion?
"
Helooksatmeandcont inuesdri
ving.Guesswho
won'tanswerthat
.Ilookout si
dethewindowand
mindmyownbusi ness.Wepasswhoonga( nyaope)
addict
sastheybegf ormoneyandt ryt
ofindtheir
nextfi
x.Ther
ei sagirlamongstthem.Ifeeltear
s
wellupinmyeyes.Anot
herl
if
elostt
odr
ugsand
povert
y.
"
Unyezi
?Ngi
bheke.
"
Iwi
pemyt
ear
squi
ckl
yandt
urnt
olookathi
m.
"Ihopeyounotcr
yingcauseIdi
dn'
tansweryour
questi
on."
Ishakemyhead.
"
Phoukhal
elani
?"(
Whyar
ecr
ying?
)
"
I'
m notcr
ying.
"
"
Wenzani
keh?
"(Sowhatar
eyoudoi
ng?
)
Ijustkeepquietandgetbusyonmyphone.I
receiveatextfr
om Thabani
.
:
"Cutcont
actwi
thme.If
oundsomeone.
"
Il
aughatt
his.Ihar
dlyevencont
actyou.Idel
etehi
s
number
.
"
Yinil
engakaekuhl
eki
sayo?
"(What
'smaki
ngyou
l
augh?)
"
Facebookst
uff
."
,Idi
smi
sshi
m andputmyphone
away.
West opatthi
sshi sanyama.It
sSundayvibes.Jazz
pl
ayinginthebackgr ound.Heparkshi
scarandt hi
s
Zulumandoesn' tevenopenmydoorf orme.
Jehovah!Igetoutoft hecarandhisst
andingthere
wit
hhi shandsinhi spocket
s.
"
Doyouhavebr
other
s?"
Hel
ooksatmeconf
usedandnodshi
shead.
"Tel
lthem Unyezisaidheyshoul
dtel
lyouwhatdo
youdowhenyouwi t
hal adyi
nacarandy'
allar
ri
ve
wherey'al
lat.
"
Hel
ooksatmel
ostasf
uck.
"
Tel
lthem.
"
Henodsandtakesmyhandinhis.Youcan'
topen
t
hedoorforkodwayoucanholdmyhand.Amen!
Wewal ki
nsi
deholdi
nghandsandtheystar
t
whi
stl
ingandsayi
ng"AhSgagqagagqamadoda!"
Iguesshi
swellknownaroundherandhedidsayhe
runskwamashu.Henodsateveryoneandt
heyget
backtowhatt
heydoing.Hefi
ndsusaexcluded
seatf
rom ever
yone'
seyes.It
akeaseat
.
"I
'
llgoordersomemeat
.Uphuzani
?"(
whatdoyou
dri
nk?)
"
Wine.
"
Hel
aughsatt
his.
"
Isesnigqawungqawi
nil
a.Wedon'
tdr
inkwi
ne.
"
(
Thisisthehood.)
Il
ookathi
m dumbf
ounded.
"
Aci
dert
han.
"
Henodsandwal ksaway.Inot
icewhenhet akes
outhiswal
letf
rom hi
sbackpocketthattherei
sa
gunonhiswaist.Hebet
ternottr
ytoshootme.I
don'
tevenhavemygunwi thme!Dammi tUnyezi
.A
l
ightski
nnedniggacomesandsitinfrontofme.
"
What
sabeaut
if
ulgi
rll
ikeyoudoi
ngher
e?"
"
Pleasel
eave.
"
"
Yout
hinkyout
heshi
t.
"
Il
aughatt
hisr
emar
k.
"
Ifyoudon'
tleavenowI
'
llpunchyourf
ace.
"
Hegr
ipsmyhandandIl
ookathi
m.
"
Ohyout
het
ypet
hatt
hinkwomenoweyou.
"
Hegr i
psmet i
ghterandIpunchhi
m onhisnose.
Everyonef
inal
lynoti
ceswhenhescreams.Shit
!I
brokeanail
.Ipunchhim agai
nandifeelar
mshold
meback.
"EhSani
!Uzoli
malaubambaint
ombiyakaBas
kanj
alo.
",
saysthemanhol
dingmeback.
"
Hlehl
amfanangi
ngazengikuci
theubucopho.
"
(
Moveboybefor
eIshootyouinthehead.)
Langai
spissed.Heputst
het
rayoff
ooddownand
comestowardsmefir
st.
"
MyekeMuzi
."(
Leaveher
.)
ThisMuziguylet
'sgoofmeandIcheckmyhand
fi
rst
.Myknucklesarebleedi
ngandsoi
smyfi
nger
causeIbrokemynail.
Theyt
aketheli
ghtski
nnedni
ggaawaysandhis
nosei
sbroken.Ismil
ewhenIhearhi
scr
ies.Pussy.
"
Youf
ine?
"
Inodandheengul f
smei nhisarms.Uh..
.Ahug.I
hughim backawkwar dl
y.Hecallsaguytobringt
he
fi
rstai
dkit.Iwonderwheretheywer et
akingt
hat
guy.That'
swhyIdon' tl
ikehood.It
sadangerous
pl
ace.Adar kplace.
05
UNYEZI
I'
m eatingtheworsonlyanditsi
sdel
icious.Langa
hasfinishedhi
swor sandhiseati
nghislastpiece
ofsteak.Thismaneatsandnonofusar epaying
att
entiontothepap.Iatethesal
adcausei twas
chil
li
.Ilovechi
ll
i.
"
Youpl
anni
ngont
ouchi
ngt
hatst
eak?
"
Il
aughandpushmypi
ecesofst
eak.
"
Awuyi
funi
?"(
Youdon'
twanti
t?)
"
Cah.Idon'
tli
kest
eak.
"(No)
Heshrugsandeats.Weeatinsilence.Iam now
dri
nki
ngPi neTwi
st.Hesuggestedit.I
ttast
esr eal
ly
good.Ineedtost
ockupont hese.Hei sdri
nkinga
castl
eli
te.Hewi
peshi
shandswhenhi
sdone
eati
ng.
"
I'
m sor
ryaboutwhathappenedear
li
er.
"
"
It
sokay.Ij
ustbr
okeanai
lthat
sal
l.
"
"
Sti
ll
.Youhur
tyourknuckl
es.
"
"
Ibr
eakmyknuckl
esal
ot.I
tsnobi
gdeal
."
Henodsandst
aresatme.
"
What
?",
Iaskshyl
y.
"
Cel
aungshade.
"(
mar
ryme)
Il
aughti
llIr
eali
sehi
sdeadserious.Thi
sguyis
cr
azy.I
tsourthi
rdencount
erandhewant st
omarr
y
me?Awhol eUnyezi
?
"Langa.
",Ij
ustsayhi
sname.Idon'
tknowwhatt
o
say.
"I
'
m agr ownmanUnyezi.I'
mtur
ning30inafew
monthsandIdon'thaveti
meforgames.Iknow
aboutyouaddi
cti
on."
Ichokeonmysali
va.What
?!Myeyesareashuge
asball
sri
ghtnow.Howdoesheknowthat?Unl
ess
hehadaccesst
omyr
ecor
dswi
thmyt
her
api
st.
"Iknowal otofstuffUnyezi
.Iknowat onofstuff
.
SomeI 'l
lletyoutellmewhenyou'r
er eady.You
result
edtosexwhenyoucoul dn'
thandlesome
stuffandsexi swhatIcangiveyou."
,hissayi
ngthis
calmlyandhi slookingmeintheeyes.
"Youjustmetmeandyouwanttomarryme?At
l
eastaskmeoutkqala.Seei
fyoucanhandl
emy
addict
ion.
"
"IcanhandleyouUnyezi.Noaddicti
onlast
sl ong
unlessyouwantittoo.Ihavehadmyownshar eof
begging.Spendi
ngmoneyondat es.I
'
vebeen
throughallt
hatandIcandot hatwhil
emarriedt o
you."
Iam si
tt
ingheredumbfounded.Idon'
tevenknow
himthatwell
.Ican'
tjumpint
oamar ri
agewitha
str
angerIdon'
tevenknowwhat '
shisjob
occupat
ion.
"Youdon'
thavetoanswerrightaway.Nowits
gett
ingl
ateandKwaMashuhi j
ackscarsandIdon't
wanttoki
llanyonei
nfrontofyou."
,hesaysst
anding
up.
Thismani swayt oobold.Hesayswhatevercomes
tomi ndatthatexactmoment .Ist
andupandI
real
iseI'
mt ipsy.Iam abouttocl
eanthetable.
"
No.Weownt
hispl
ace.Thest
affwi
lldoi
t.
"
"
We?
"
Hej ustl
ooksatmeandt akesmyhand.Hedoesn' t
botheransweringmyquest ion.Il
ethi
m be.When
wegetout si
dei tsr
aining.Wer untothecarandhe
opensmydoorf orme.Thi sguy!Hedi dn'tdothi
s
whenwear r
ivedearli
eron.It akeofmyj acketand
tur
nont heheat eri
nt hecar.
"Yourpl
acei
sfarandi
tsr
aini
ng.Ihaveahouse
hereinKwaMashu.
"
Thismanneverceasestosurpri
seme.Hisact ual
ly
tel
li
ngt
hatwegoi ngtohi
splace.Iam t
ipsyandI '
m
abuzzinthecar.Iact
ual
lywantasmoker ightnow
andgetoutofthesewetclot
hes.
"
Youhaveki
ds?
"
Henodsandst
eal
sagl
anceatme.Il
oveki
ds.
"
Howol
dar
ethey?
"
"
Nkosi
nat
hii
s14.Langal
amii
s10.
"
"
Nkosinat
hii
s14?Emudekanj
e?"(
Whenhi
sthat
t
all
?)
Hechuckl
es.
"
Wher
eist
hei
rmot
her
?"
"
Shedoesn'
tseet
hem.Shel
eftwi
thanot
herman.
"
Heclencheshisj
awwhensayi ngthis.Heseems
angryandIknowIshouldstopaskingtoomany
questi
ons.Heparksinfr
ontofabeaut i
fulhouse.I
ts
notbigbutit
sbeauti
ful
.Thegateopensandhe
dri
vesin.Therei
ssecuri
ty.What
'sthesecur i
tyfor
?
Asifhereadmymi nd.
"
Notever
ybodyl
ikest
heKhuzwayos.
"
Ilookathim evenmor
ecuri
ous.Thi
sguyis
mysteri
ousandoddlyIli
ket
hat.Weruninsi
de
towardsthehouseandheunlockst
hedoor.
"
Ngena.
"(Geti
n)
Doeshehavet
ocommandme?Domi
nantmuch?
Wewal
kinsi
deandhecl
osest
hedoorandl
ocks.
"
Letmegetuswar
minher
e.Getcomf
ort
abl
e."
"Iwannagetoutoft
hesecl
othesandIal
sowantt
o
haveasmoke."
"
Passage.Seconddooronyourr
ight
.Don'
tsmoke
i
nmyr oom thou.
"
Iheadt owar dsthepassageandIgott oadmi ti
tsa
nicehouse.Not hi
ngdr amat i
cj ustcosy.Iwal k
i
nsi dehisr oom andi tboyishandver yclean.Ist art
stri
ppingt hanopenhi scloset.I'
m buttnaked.Thi s
room smel lsli
kehi m.Itakeouthi ssweat shor t
sand
abl acktee.Irollt
heshor tsbymywai sttokeep
them there.Ilookf unnyinhi sclothesbutmybut t
l
ookscut eintheseshor ts.Igrabmyci garettesand
exithisroom.Hel ooksatmeandchuckl es.
"
Youl
ooksexyi
nmycl
othes.
"
Thewayhesai ditwassoenti
cing.Hewalksinsi
de
hisroom andIheadt ot
hekit
chen.Hehasawi ne
cell
ar.Itakeoutsomewine.Thisseemsexpensive.
Iri
nseoutagl assandpoursome.It ast
eitandI'm
i
nl ove.Ilovebever
agebazal
wane.Iopenthe
ki
tchenwindowandl i
ghtmyci gar
ret
e.Hewal ksin
dressedI
'mj ustswagpantsandhisdickpri
nti
swel l
shaped.Hehasawel ldef
ined8packwi t
hav- li
ne.
Hischestissomanl ywithtat
toosonhisleft
.
Nkosinat
hi.Langalami.Hi
ssonsnames.Myeyes
moveupt ohi sAdamsappl eandhisjawli
ne.
"Youeyefucki
ngmer
ightnow.Takeuzenzel
e."(
Do
asyouplease.
)
Igul
pdownt
hecont
ent
sofmywi
ne.
"
Iseeyouf
oundt
hewi
ne.Fi
nal
lysomeonet
odr
ink
t
hat.
"
Hepourshi
mselfsomewhisky.Hetakesthe
ci
garet
tef
rom meandtakesapuffandblowsthe
smokeonmyf ace.
"
Langaman!
"
Helaughsandthosedi
mplescometodispl
ay.I
sit
nor
malt ohaveahear
tbeati
nyourcl
it
ori
ous?
"
Iwannakissyou.Bendyouovert
hiscount
er.Dr
il
l
i
ntoever
ypartofyou.
"
Iswal
lowmysal
iva.Idon'
tknowhowt
orespondt
o
t
hat
.Hef
ini
shessmoki
ngandcl
osest
hewi
ndow.
"I
tsrai
ningcatsanddogsoutthere.Ithi
nkyou
shouldcal
lthatgi
rlyoul
eftwit
hPl ut
ocauseyou
maybegoi nghomet omorrow.I
ftherainst
ops."
HewalksoutandIt
akemyphoneonthecount
er.I
di
alNana'
snumberandsheanswer
s.
"
Unyezi
."
"HeyNana.I
'
m kindsst
ucksocanyoul
ookaf
ter
Plut
oforme.I'
l
lpayext
ra.
"
"
Nopr
obl
em.Wel
ovehavi
nghi
m ar
ound.
"
"
ThankyouNana.
"
Itakethebottl
eofwi neandmygl assandheadt he
l
ivingroom.Thi sguyneedstoputonashi rtbeforeI
takeadvantageofhim.I t
swarm now.Iput
everyt
hingont hetableandIpouranotherglassof
wine.
"Youmaywannagoeasyont
hatwi
ne.Youmi
ght
endupundermesweat
y."
Ilookathi
m andheisjustsi
tt
ingtherepr
essingt
he
remoteli
kehejustdi
dn'tmakethatconment.Why
doest
hismanst
il
lsur
pri
seme?
"
Let
'sbi
ngeonser
ies.Moneyhei
st?
"
"
Favor
it
e."
Itst
art
splayingandIsi
tinbet
weenhi
slegsandl
ie
onhischest.Hedoesn'
tcomplai
n.

Iwakeupwi thmyfaceinhischest
.Wemi ghthave
fall
enasleepandIchangedmysleepi
ngpositi
on.I
trymovingmybodyt oonlyhavemygroinrubon
his.HegroansandIstopmymovement .Itr
y
movi ngagai
nandourgroansmakecontact.Shi
t!I
can'tevenmoveupwardscausehehasat i
ghthold
onme.
"
Unyezist
opi
tman!
"
Irel
axandjustputmyheadonhi
schestagai
n.Hi
s
handgropesmybutt.
"
Khuzwayo!
"
Hechuckles.Thewinenotyetoutofmysystem
andhaven'thadsome.Icl
enchmyt hi
ghstogether
.
"
MaGema?
"
"
Mmmh?
"
"
MaGema?
"
"
Khuzwayo?
"
"Yini
?Wangahlal
iseki
.Uf
unani
?"(
What
?Youcan'
t
sitst
il
l.Whatdoyouwant?)
"
Not
hing.
"
Hesitsupst r
aightwi t
hsti
llontopofhim buthe
opensmyl egsot heyoneithersi
deofhi m.Thi
sisa
verycomprisi
ngposi ti
on.Thewi neisplayi
ngwith
myhor monesr ightnow.I'
ml ookingathiminthe
eyesandIcanseeheknowswhatIwantbutwant s
met osayit.
"
Khul
umaMaGema.
"(Tal
k)
Igrabhisfaceandkisshi
m andher esponds.Hi
s
l
ipsaresosof tandIcansti
llt
astethewhskeyand
tobacco.Hepullsoutasi
tgetsintense.Dammi t
!
"
MaGema.Youcan' tj
ustgrabmeandkissme.
Ngi
thiufunani
?"(
Isai
dwhatdoyouwant .
),
hisvoi
ce
i
sreall
yhoarseandful
lofemoti
on.Hi
seyesar er
ed
andsmal
l.Hei
sreadybutwant
smet
osayi
t.
"
Iwantyou.
",Ibr
eat
heout
.
"
Yimlo.Uf
unaniki
mi?
"(Her
eIam.Whatdoyou
wantf
rom me?)
"
Iwantyoubur
iedi
nsi
deme.Ial
lofyou.
"
Andj ustlikethathegr absmebyt hewai stand
kissesmehungr i
ly.Hel icksmyl owerlipandIdon' t
granthi m access.Hi sot herhandmovesupt omy
smal lper kybr eastsandhepi nchesmyni pple
causi ngmet oyelp.Heusest hatopeningand
slideshi st onguei nmymout h.Ourt onguesbat t
le
fordomi nanceandhewi nsandIcanf eelhissmi rk.
Ist artgri
ndi ngonhi scausi ngf icti
onbet weenour
origins.Hegr oansandmovesi nt hesamer hythm
wi thme.Het ugsatt heT- shi
r tandpul l
sitovermy
head.Hest artskissingmyneckear ni
ngsof tmoans
from me.Hi shandsar eonmybr eastwithhi s
fi
nger splayingwi thmyni pples.Hegoesdownunt i
l
mybr east sandhel atchesonmyl eftboob.
Suck, blow, l
ickblowandher epeat sthesameonmy
l
ef tboobwhi l
ehisf i
nger splaywi t
hmyni pple.I'
m
sohornyr i
ghtnowIwannacr ysobad.Hel aysme
onthecar petandhekissesmeagai n.Het ugsat
theshortandIliftmybum upandher emovest hem.
I'
mleftstarknaked.Hest aresatmybodyandhi s
eyeslandont hescarinmyi nnerthigh.Itryclosi
ng
myt hi
ghsbutheopenst hem.Heki ssest hescar
whil
elookingatme.Hi seyessayi tall.Heaccept s
myf l
aws.Heki ssesmyi nnert hi
ghst illIf
inall
y
rel
axagain.Ifeelhisbr
eat henearmyvagi na.I
fi
dgetandhehol dsmyt highst okeepmei nplace.
Histwof i
ngersseparat
emyl i
psandhel i
cksmycl i
t.
Hisnotinahur ry.Henibbl esoni tandIar chmy
back.
"
Khuzwayo.
",Imoansof
tl
y.
Helicks,
bit
es,
blowsandsuckonmycl itandI'
m
l
osingmymi ndoverher
e.Heentershisfir
stfi
nger
andIcurlmytoes.Heenter
sthesecondf i
ngerand
Irol
lmyeyes.
"
Fuck!
"
Hi
spumpingi
nandoutwhil
ehismout
hisonmy
cl
it
.If
eelmyl
egsshaki
ngandIknowI
'm aboutt
o
cum.Hecur lshisfingersinsideofmeandIl etital
l
out.Hel etmer i
deoutmyor gasm andIam
breathi
ngheavi l
y.Hecomesupt omyf aceandI
pullhim andkisshi m.It astemyselfonhim and
thatenticesmemor e.Iusemyt oestolowerhis
pantstillt
heyonhi sknees.Het akesthem offand
themandownt herespr ingsup.Idon'tknowbutI
sweart hatshitreachedhi sbell
ybut t
onandIgul p.
I'
venevert akenonet hatbig.
"
I'
llbegent
le.
"
Imeethi
seyesandhegi
vespeck.Thi
sguysdi
cki
s
huge!
"
Condoms?
"
Heget supandheadst othevasenexttot
he
pi
ctures.Hedipshishandinandcomesoutwi th
onelineofDurexcondoms.Het ear
sonewhi l
e
walkingtowar
dsme.Heput si
tonwhile
maintaini
ngeyecontactwit
hme.Heget sin
bet
weenmyt highsandhebalanceshimsel
fwith
hi
sf orear
ms.
"
Nowl
ist
ent
ome.Ihi
titandi
t'
smi
ne.Idon'
tli
ke
shar
ing.AssoonasIputt het
ipinyou'r
emi neand
minealone.Youcancallmeatmidnightforsexand
I'
l
lcomesi yezwana?
(weunderst
andeachot her?
"
Inodatt
his.Ij
ustwantyoui
nmer
ightnow!
"
Useyourwor
ds.
"
"
Siyezwana.
(weunder
standeachot
her
.)
"
Heki ssesmeagai nandIf eelhi mr ubhi mselfon
me.It akeadeepbr eat heandr elaxmybody.He
pusheshi msel fi
nsl owl yandI 'mt ryingtogetsome
airi
nmyl ungs.Hef inall
yent ersf ul l
yandIcat cha
breath.Hest aysli
ket hatgi vingmet i
met oadjustto
hissize.Inodathi m andhest artsmovi ng.I
ts
uncomf ortableatfi
r stbutaf teraf ewst rokesI'
ma
mess.Heput smyl egsonhi sshoul dersgivi
nghim
deeppenet rati
on.I'
m scr atchi ngonhi sback.Iam
screami ngandI '
m sur ethenei ghbour scanhearme.
Ther ainiscreati
ngar hythm f orhi sst rokes.Iar
ch
mybackandcur lmyt oesdi ggi ngmynai l
sintohis
back.Hef ucksmet hroughmyor gasm.Hehasme
bymysi defacinghi m.Myont opofhi sandt he
otherunderhi s.Hekeepsmovi ngwhi l
ekeepingeye
cont
act
.Ican'
tevenkeepmyeyesopencauset
his
mansstr
okesaredri
vingmecr
azy.
"
LookatmeorIst
op.
"
Iopenmyeyesandlookathi
m.Hehasbeadsof
sweatonhi
sfor
eheadwithhi
sbrowsf
urr
owed.
"
Shi
tUnyezi
!Don'
tdot
hat
!"
,hegr
oansout
.
Ij
ustclenchedmyvaginawall
saroundhi
sdi
ck.He
goesfasterandhekeepspumpingi
ntome.
"
Fuck!Fuck!Fuuuuuuuuck!
",Iscr
eam andIcum.
Helaysmeonmyst omachwi t
hapillowundermy
tor
so.Heenterf
rom behindandIhearhim gr
oan.
Hischesti
sonmybackandhi sgroansaremaking
meevenmor earoused.Ipushmyhi psoutali
tt
le
andhemakesmemovewi thhi
srhythm.
"
DeeperLanga!
!Deeper
!"
Andheobl i
ges.Keepingmyhi psintheai
rand
gi
vingmedeept hrusts.Hegroansoutandupshi s
pace.Icl
enchmysel faroundhim andhegroanslike
awoundedbul l
.Helaysont opofmeaswebr eat
he
heavi
ly.Herol
lsoverandwel ookateachot her.
"
Whatwast
hat
?",
Iaskwi
that
ir
edvoi
ce.
"
Thati
syournewaddi
cti
on.
"
Hepull
smei nhisarmsandwesl eepont hecar pet
.
Hepull
saf l
eeceandcover susup.Maybej ust
maybeIfoundamuchbet t
eraddicti
on.Somet hing
onl
yhecangi veme!Manhi sgotmeanst rokes.I
fal
lasl
eepbutnotbeforeIhear"Ngyakuthanda. "(
I
l
oveyou)guessI'
m alreadydreaming.
06
UNYEZI
I'
m wokenupbysomeonepicki
ngmeup.Iopenmy
eyesali
tt
leandi
tsLanga.
"
Sor
ryt
owakeyouupbutmybr
other
sar
ecomi
ng.
"
"
It
sokay.
"
HelooksatmeandIseet heoceanandmoonagai n.
Itst
il
lfasci
natesmeonhowIcanseesucha
beautif
ulsceneryinhiseyes.Idon'tknowwhatt
his
warm andf uzzyfeel
ingmyhypot halamusi
s
sendingthroughoutmybody.Hel aysmeonthe
bed.
"
Gobackt
osl
eep.
"
"
Ihavewor
ktomor
row.
"
"
I'
llf
etchyoucl
othes.
"
"Ha.ashame.I
fIletyoudothatt
hanI'
dgotowor
k
dressedli
keIj
ustescapedoutofanasyl
um."
Hel
aughsatt
his.
"
Okay.I
'
llaskNkosi
nat
hit
ochooseyourout
fi
tkeh.
"
"Formalokay? "t
eethodsandki ssesmyf or
ehead.
Hel eavest heroom onlyinsweat pantsandInoti
ce
thescrat chmar ksonhisback.Imayhave
scratchedhar derthanIthought.Iclosemyeyes
andIf allint
odeepsl umberlater.

I'
m wokenupbyl oudvoicesandIr ememberLanga
tel
li
ngmehi sbr otherswerecomi ngover .Theyare
veryloudwiththel aughi
ngandal l.Iwakeupand
gotot hebathr
oom t owashmyf ace.Iopen
drawersti
llIfi
ndaseal edtoothbrush.Ibr ushmy
teet
handdeci detot akeashower .Ifini
sht akinga
showerandwhenIwal koutthereisst i
llnoiseon
theotherside.ItextLanga"I'
m hungry."herepl
ies
"comeeat .Webr aaiedmeat .
"uyahl
anyal oandI
textagain"Quickie?
"hebl ueti
cksme.I '
m si
tti
ng
thereallnakedwhent hedoorf i
nall
yopens.Ilaugh
athim causeIcanseehi sbonerthroughhispants.
"
Real
lyUnyezi
?"
"
Thatwastheonl
ywayt
ogetyout
ocomeher
e.I
'
m
r
eal
lyhungry.
"
Hegr
oansoutl
oudandhasami
nit
ant
rum.
"
CanIgett
hequi
cki
e?Thanyou'
l
leat
."
"
Nope.
",
Isaypoppi
ngt
he"
p".
Ist
andupandheadf ort
hecl
oset
.Inot
icemy
cl
othes.Gr
eatchoi
ce.
"Langast
opf
oll
owi
ngmear
ound.Thanksf
ort
he
clot
hes.
"
"
MaGemangi
zoyi
fakakancane.
"(I
'
llputt
het
ipi
n.)
Il
aughathim andgot
hroughhi
sswagpant
s.It
ake
outt
heblackone.
"
Awuf
uni
?"(
Youdon'
twantt
o?)
Inodandbendt otakeoutapairofsocksf
rom t
he
drawer.If
eelhimrubhisboneronmyassandmy
breat
hehitches.
"
Seducemeal
lyouwantLanga.
"
"
MaGemaI
'
m dyi
ngher
e."
If
indthesocksandputthem on.Ipushhi
m with
myassasIst andup.AsI'
m abouttowearthe
swagpant
shegr absthem.
"
Langa!
"
"
Ngyakucel
a.Bheka.
"(Pl
ease.Look.
)
Ilookathi
sbonerandI'
mt emptedkodwasexwon't
makemyst omachful
l.Thelastt
imeIatewaswit
h
thatchi
sanyamameat.
"Langayourbrot
heraredownst
air
sandI'
m hungry.
Ngizobengit
hi"Aaah"isi
susamisi
besit
hi"grr
r"
hayi!"
(I
'l
lbesayi
ng-myst omachwil
lbesaying-
no!)
Hel
aughsandhandsmet
heswagpant
s.
"
Canyoucookpapf
orus?
"
"
Ican'
tcook.
"
HelooksatmeasifIj
ustpouredcoldwateronhi
m
andIwannalaughsobad.OfcourseIcancookI'
m
j
ustpull
inghi
sleg.
"I
'
llaskoneofmyst
affatt
hechi
sanyamat
obr
ing
uspapthen.
"
"
Sot
heChi
sanyamai
syour
s?"
Henodstaki
ngouthi
sphone.Iunder
standwhyhe
sai
d'weownthi
splace'
ear
li
eron.
"
I'
mjoki
ng.I
'
llcook.
"
Hest
opspr
essi
ngonhi
sphoneandl
ooksatme.
"
You'
resur
e?"
Hi
sscepti
calIcansee.Ismi
leandnodathi
m.Ipul
l
at
-shi
rtonandwewal kouthandi
nhand.
"
Howmanyar
ethey?
"
"
Who?Mybr
other
s?"
Inod.
"
Ther
e's5ofus.I
'
mthemi
ddl
echi
ldandt
hel
ast
bor
nisagi
rl
.Shedi
dn'
tcomet
hou.
"
Myfacedrops.I
'
llbesur
roundedbyt
est
eor
oneal
l
al
one?DearGod.
"Theyinsist
edoncominghereandwhenIt ol
dthem
Ihadagi rlovert
heyr
anhereevenThandolezwe
wantedt ocomebutsinceshehasschoolshe
can't
."
IguessThandol
wezei
sthegi
rl
.
"
Whywoul
dtheyr
unher
eforamer
egi
rl
?"
Helooksatmeandhi sgi
vingmeoneoft
hose
i
ntenselooksandIl
ookdown.
"
Ngi
bheke.
(l
ookatme)
"
Il
ookathi
m andhegr
absmebyt
hewai
st.
"
Itol
dthem aboutyouwhenIsawyouout
side
Khuzwayosbuil
dingandt
hey'
vebeenwai
ti
ngfor
metofindyou.
"
"Whytel
lthem aboutmeordoyoutel
lthem about
ever
ygir
lyoumeetout si
debui
ldi
ngs?
"
"
Itel
lthem aboutasmokerwhoseest
heoceani
n
myeyes.
"
Il
ookathi
m andheki
ssesmyl
ips.Wai
t-
"
HowdoyouknowIseet
heoceani
nyoureyes?
"
"
You'
l
lfi
ndout
."
We'vebeenst andi
nginthepassagethi
swholeti
me.
Ipullhishandandwewal ktowardsthel
ivi
ngroom.
Itstoppedrai
ningbuti
tsdri
zzli
ngnow.They
playingFIFAandareooingandbooing.
"
Iwantasmoke.
",Iwhi
spert
oLanga.
"
Aft
ert
his.
"
Wewalkuptot
hem andLangacl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.No
onepai
datt
ent
ion.
"
Baf
wet
hu.
"(Br
other
s)
Theyalll
ookatusandpausethegame.I
'm
st
andingtherei
nhugecl
otheslooki
ngal
lshor
twi
th
messyhair.
"
Thi
sisUnyeziSosi
bo.
"
"Hey"
,andmyvoi
cecomesoutsqeauky.Wt
f
bazal
wane?
Oneofthem l
aughs.Hel
ookslikehi
sinhis20s.Did
Imenti
onthattheyl
ookal
ike?Theresemblancei
s
deep.
"
Uhl
ekanisl
ima?
(whatar
elaughi
ngatf
ool
)"
IpinchLangaandhejumpsandgi
vesmeadeat
h
starewhichIgi
veback.
"Hey",
theguyimit
atesmysqueakyvoiceandthey
alll
aughLangaevenchuckl
es.I
'm gonnapunch
theseasshol
es.
"Squeakyvoi
ceherewil
lcookpapf
ory'
al
l.Y'
al
l
bet
terkeepqui
et.
",
Isay.
Theyal
lkeepqui
et.Ismi
le.
"
Goodboys.
"
Langachuckl
es.
"
Nowwhatar
eyournames?
"
"
I'
m Ndabenkul
u."
,sayst
heol
derl
ooki
ngone.
"
I'
m Bheki
khaya.
",
saysonewi
that
att
ooonhi
sneck.
"
I'
m Khul
ekani
."
,saysTr
evorNoahwannabe.
"
Nicet
omeetyoual
l.
"
Khul
ekanil
ooksatLanga.
"Sot
hisi
swher
eyougott
hosebackscr
atchesf
rom
huh?
"
Omigosh!Thi
skidthou.Ihidemyfacebehi
nd
Langaaseveryonelaughs.Whyi
sthisdumbass
l
aughingtoo?
"
OkayguysyekaniuMaGemawami .Asambe
mkami.(
leavemyMaGemaalone.Let'
sgomy
wif
e.)
"
"
MmmhMaGemaWami
.Mkami
.Wadl
abaf
o."
Theylaughagai n.GuessKhul ekaniisthejoker
aroundher e.Ileavethem t hereandgot othe
ki
tchen.IfIwasr eall
ylightinski nI'
dber edright
now.Iopent hekitchenwi ndowandl ightacigaret
te.
Iboilthewat ersolongandsi tontopoft hecounter.
Wher eisthatwi ne?I'
lldrinkonegl asscauseIhave
wor ktomorrow.Ist artcooki ngwhensomet hing
l
icksmycal veandIscr eam bl oodyshit
!Idon'teven
l
ookbackIr un.Theyal lst andupandpul loutguns.
Istandbehi ndLanga.
"
What
'swr
ongUnyezi
?"
"Somet
hing.
..I
tli
ckedme.Angazi
..
.It
..
.Ybo!
"(I
don'
tknow)
Iam f
reaki
ngoutwhenahearawhi
ne.Adogs
whi
ne.
"
It
'sj
ustPl
utobabe.
"
Pl
uto?What
'shedoi
nghere?Icomeoutandthere
hei
swithhi
searsdownandtailbet
weenhi
stail
.
"
Aahst
handwasami
.Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
Ikisshi
sheadandr
ubonhi
sbel
ly.Hel
icksmy
face.
"
Plut
o!"
,I
'
m agi
ggl
ingmess.
Wef
inal
lyst
oppl
ayi
ng.ManIl
ovet
hisf
ell
ow.
"Hewhinedandstar
tedbar
kingwhenhesawme.
Guessherecogni
zedmef r
om ear
li
eronsoIt
ook
him wi
th.
"
Langat
hou.
"
ThanksIguess.
"
"
Can'
tbel
ieveIpul
ledoutmygunf oradog.
Abaf
azi
.(
women) "
,saysNdabenkhul
usi
tt
ingdown.
Theyl
aughandgetbackt
othei
rgame.Iwasscar
ed
awu!
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Theyal
ltur
nbackandIl
ookdownshyl
y.
"Oh.She'stal
kingt
oLanagal
akhel
ihl
e."
,says
Bhekikhaya.
Hest
andsupandf
oll
owsmewi
thPl
utoonourt
ail
.
"
I'
m al
mostdonewi
tht
hepappl
easewar
m upt
he
meatf
orme."
"
Okay.
"
Hehol dsmywai stfrom behi
ndandki ssesmyneck.
Mybr eathi
nghi t
chesandhebi tesdownonmyneck.
Ifindthepainpleasurabl
eandheki ssesitafter
.I
turnaroundandki sshim.Hegr opesmyassandI
moan.JustasI 'm gett
ingint
oithepullsoutand
put st
hemeati ntheoven.Didhej ust
-?Hej ustgave
meat ast
eofmyownmedi ci
ne!IswearI '
m gonna
cry.Idragmyt onguet hr
oughmyt eethandt urnto
mypot
s.
"
Uthimxm ki
mi?(
youdraggi
ngmethr
oughyour
t
eeth?
)",
hesaysl
ooki
ngatmewit
hsquint
edeyes.
"
Hm.
mh(
no)
"
Hegi vesmeonel ookandget sbackt ocooking.I
fi
nishupt hepapandt urnoffghdst ove.Plut
ois
j
ustlayingtherelookingatus.Ial socooked
chakalakaandi t
sdone.It urnof fthepot sandst ar
t
ri
nsingthepl at
es.Langal i
ghtsaci garett
ewhi l
e
waiti
ngont heti
mer .Idryt
hepl atesandst ar
t
setti
ngthem.Idi shupf oreveryoneandwhenI 'm
donet heti
mergoesof f.It
aket heci garet
tefrom
him ashet akesthemeatout .
"
Whenar
eyoupl
anni
ngonqui
tt
ing?
"
"
Qui
tt
ingwhat
?"
"
Ugwayi
.(
cigar
ett
es)
"
"
WhenIf
eell
ikei
t.
",
Isaydi
smi
ssi
vel
y.
"
Wat
chyourt
one.Angi
lwi
.(
I'
m notf
ight
ing)
"
Iputtheci
gar
etteoutandcl
oset
hewi
ndow.Imake
adishcl
othwet.
"You'
rehelpi
ngmewithgivingthem f
ood.AndI
shoul
dn'tevenbedoi
ngthis.I'
m notyourwi
fe.
"
"
Tol
dyout
omar
ryme.
"
Il
eavehiml ikethatandgogivehisbr
otherst
hewet
dishcl
othfortheirhands.HowIknowthis?Ir
eada
coupleofstori
es.
"
SiyabongaMkakhe.
(t
hankyouhi
swi
fe.
)"
,says
Khulekani
.
Ismil
eatt
hem andgobackt
otheki
tchen.Langai
s
eat
ing.
"
Pat
ience.Pat
ienceLanga.
"
"WhenI'
m hungr
y.Iwanttoravi
shmyf
oodr
ight
away.
"andyeshemadei tsexual
.
Helickshisf
inger
ssl
owl
ywhilelooki
ngmeinthe
eyes.SeducemeLangaKhuzwayo.Seduceme.
"
Ngabengikunambit
hakanj
e.(
I'
dbeeat
ingyoul
ike
t
his.
)"
,hesaysbi
ti
ngint
ohiswors.
Ineedt
ogetoutofhere.Ver
yfast
.Igr
abt
wopl
ates
andputt
hem onthetr
ay.
"
Ngi
kukhot
akanj
e.(
li
cki
ngyoul
iket
his.
)"
Helickshi
sfi
nger
ssl owl
y.That'
smycue.Itaket
he
pl
atesandwalkout.Ihandthem t
hei
rpl
ates.
"
Uri
ghtMaGema?Youl
ookf
lust
ered.
"
Inodandwal koff.Ibumpi ntoLangawi t
hat r
ayof
pl
atesandhel i
ckshi slipandbiteshi sli
pbefore
walki
ngoff.Jesus!Yoursonwi l
lbet hedeathofme.
Wherearemyci garettes?Igiveplutosomewat er
andrawhalfcookedmeat .Langaj usttookmydog
wit
houttakinghisfood.Hewal ksi nasIl i
ghtup
ci
garett
e.
"
Wozauzodl
a.(
comeeat
.)
"
"
I'
lleatwi
thPl
uto.
"
"
Plut
o.Come.
"
Plutolooksathisfoodandt hanLanga.His
i
ndecisive.Hef i
nall
ychoosesfood.Hah!Langa
exit
sdef eat
ed.Afterafewmi nutesever
yonecome
withtheirpl
atesandpul l
sbarstoolsbefor
etaki
nga
seat.Ilookatthem puzzl
ed.Langamar a!Theyal
l
smileatmeshowi ngoffthei
rdimples.
"Iwoul
dbewatchi
ngsoccerwhileeat
ingbutLanga
saysyou'
rel
onel
y."
,saysKhul
ekani
.
Il
ookatLangaandhewinksatme.Heli
kespl
ayi
ng
di
rt
ylo.Iputt
heci
garet
teoutandcl
osethewi
ndow.
"You'
llhavet
ostopsmokingwhenyou'
repr
egnant
."
,
saysNdabenkhulucausi
ngmetochokeonmyown
Sali
va.
"
Uhm.
..Yeahyeah.
",Iam f
lushedguys.
Isi
tdownandweeatpeacef
ull
y.
"Langasaysy'
al
laredati
ng.You'
resur
eyouwanna
beinthi
sfamil
y?"
,asksBheki
khaya
Wedati
ng?IlookatLangaandhesmi
lesatme.
Hai
bo.Thi
sisambush.
"Uhyeahyeahwedat
ing.I
'm notr
eall
ysur
ebutI
don'
twannamakehastydeci
sions.
"
"
Whatdoyouseei
nhi
seyes?
",asksNdabenkhul
u
"
Baf
o",
Langat
ri
esst
oppi
nghi
m.
"Thulabaf
o.(
qui
etbr
other
)",
Ndabenkhul
ucut
shi
m
off.
"Idon'
tknowifthi
ssoundscrazybutIseethe
oceanandthemoon.Itsti
lll
eavesmepuzzled
why.",
Isaythi
slooki
ngatLanga.Star
ingintot
he
oceanandthemoon.
"
Yout
hinkuyebaf
o?"
,asksKhul
ekani
.
"
SizozwangoKhuzwayoomdal a.Bekunjal
o.
Makashadwe.(
we'
llhearf
rom seniorKhuzwayo.I
fit
i
swhatis.Shemustbemar r
ied.)"
,answers
Ndabenkhul
u.
Idon'tknowwhatt heytal
kingaboutbutIknowi t
i
nvolvesme.Il ookatLangaandhel ooksatmet oo.
Igetaf eeli
ngthatinhisoceanyoudon' tswim and
l
eave.Youl ear
nhowt obreat heunderwat er
.
Leavi
nghi m wil
lbehardint hefutur
ebutwhywoul d
Il
eavehi m?Iaskmysel ft
hatquest i
onagai n'why
wouldIl eavehim? '
.Il
ookatPl utoandhel ooksat
me.Pl uto.Idon'tknowwhatIj ustwalkedintobut
i
tsstil
lyouandme.Al ways.
07
UNYEZI
I
'
m pr
epar
ingf
orwor
kri
ghtnowandLangai
sst
il
l
sleeping.Thi smansnor esbant ase.Ihadt oput
anot herpill
owf orhim.Iputonmycl othesandIgo
checkonPl ut o.Hei salr eadyupandbar kingatthe
door .Iruntowar dsitandopeni tforhi m andhe
runsoutt ot hebackyar d.I tstoppedr ainingnow.I t
s
windyt hou.Igi vehi m somepr i
vacyandl eavethe
dooropen.Iwal ktot heki tchen.I t
sst il
l05: 43soI
startcookingsof tporridge.Lucki l
ytheyboughtmy
l
apt op.IcheckMrMayasschedul efort heday.He' l
l
beoutoft heof ficetoday.Iemai lhim hisschedul e
andhi sf i
rstmeet i
ngi swi ththeboar dmember s
whi chisapr i
vat emeet ing.It urnofft hepot swhen
i
tsr eady.Idi shupf ormysel fandaddmi lkand
somesugar .AsI 'm eatingLangacomesi n.
"
Sawubona.
"(Hey)
"
Mor
ning.
"
"
Whyi
sthedooropen?
"
"
Plut
oneededt
het
oil
et.I
'
llcl
eani
tup.
"
"
Ther
eisaGar
dnerf
ort
hat
."
Inodathi
m.
"
Youwantsomesof
tpor
ri
dge?
"
"
Hayi
.Ieatmeatmi
na.
"
Amen!Het akesoutsomeRussiansandpopsthem
i
nthemi cr
owave.Act i
onsofabachel
or.I
ts06:
22
andIneedtol eavef
orwork.
"
Canyoudropmeof
fatwor
kthandr
opof
fPl
utoat
t
heest
ate?
"
Henodseat
ingRussi
ansonl
y.
"Andt
hewayyouambushedmei zol
o.Idi
dn'
teven
knowsiyaj
ola.
(yest
erday.dat
ing)
"
"
IknowIknow.Unyezipl
easebemygi
rl
fr
iend?
"
Langamar
ayazi
!Whatam Igonnadowi
thhi
m?
"
OkayLangal
akhel
ihl
e."
"
Sor
ryst
handwasami
."
Hepul
lsmebythewaistandki
ssesme.Ineverget
t
ir
edofhi
ski
sses.Ipackupmyt hi
ngs.
"
Putashi
rtonasambe.
(l
et'
sgo)
"
Heki
ssesmeonel
astt
imeandwal
ksof
f.
"
Plut
o!"
Hecomesmi
nut
esl
ater
.
"
Timet
ogo.
"
Wher
eismyphone?AsI'
m aboutt
ogolookf
ori
tin
t
hebedr
oom Langawal
ksinwit
hitonhi
sear
.
"Lal
elandoda.Hl
ukananomkami .Uphinde
umphounelekuzoci
thekaigazi.
(l
ist
enher eman.
Stayawayfrom mywife.Callheragainbloodwi
llbe
spil
t.
)"
Hedr opst hecal l
, t
akeshi scarkeysandl eaves.It
s
probablyZenande.Hi stheonl yonethatcal l
sme.
Thabanijustwai tsformycal l
.Hehoot sandmeand
Plutoheadout .Iopent hedoorf orPlutoatt heback
andIgeti nfront .Hisjawsar eclenchedandt he
wayhi sgrippingont hatstaringwheelI '
m even
scaredtoaskf ormyphone.Hei sdri
vingver yfast
andIdon' tevent el
lhimt oslowdown.Pl utois
sleepingatthebackandIwi shIwashi m.Obl i
vious
tothismansanger .Thet yresscreechwhenhe
parksneart heKhuzwayoLawandOr der .Isitthere
l
ooki ngathim.Idon' tknowwhatt osaysoIki sshis
cheekandexi
tthecar.Hedr
ivesof
fwithmyphone.
Il
ookathiscardri
vingof
fbefor
ewalki
ngof
f.I
ts
gonnabealongday.

Iwasaboutknockof
fwhenIr
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om my
off
icephone.
"MsSosi
bo.MrKhuzwayoi
sher
etot
akeyou
home.
"
Iguesst hatidi
otisheretofetchme.Ipack
everythi
ngandt urnoffmycomput er
.MrMayahas
alr
eadylef tt
hebuildi
ngsoIheadt ot heelevat
or.
Thisisverylargebuil
ding.Withmyyear sofwor ki
ng
hereIstil
ldon'tknowtheowner .Theycallhim
seniorKhuzwayot hatknowhi m.Iexitthebuil
ding
andhei sout si
desmoki ng.We'r
elookingateach
otherasIwal kupt ohi
m.Ist andinfrontofhim.
"
Eveni
ng.
"
"
Yeah.
"
Heopenst
hedoorformebefor
egoi
ngtohisside.
Hest
artst
hecaranddri
vesoff
.Wearesi
lenti
nthe
car
.Idon'
tgetwhyhisangryreall
y.Hejustcame
waytoofasti
nmylif
eIdidn'tevenhavetimetocut
cer
tai
npeopleof
f.
"
Langal
akhel
ihl
e."
Hest eal
saglanceatmebeforel
ookingbackatt
he
road.EThekwinii
sabuzz.Peopl
eareknocki
ngoff
andsomear egoingtowork.
"Youcan'
tbeangryatme.Youcamei nduel
if
eli
ke
anatomicbomb.Ididn'
tevenhavet
imetocut
cert
ainpeopl
eoff
."
"
I'
m notangryatyou.I
'mj ustt
ryi
ngt
ocomeint
o
t
ermsthatther
ewer eotherguysbef
oreme.
"
"
Don'
tst
orm of
fonme.Yout
alkt
ome.
"
"
Iknow.I
'
m sor
ry.
"
"
I'
m sor
ryt
oo.
"
Heent
erst
heest
ateandpar
ksi
nfr
ontofapar
tment
.
"
Woul
dyoul
iket
ocomeupf
orcof
fee?
"
"
Not
hankyou.I
'
llcal
llat
er.
"
Hesayshandi
ngmeaphone.Thi
sisnotmyphone.
I
tsevenknew.
"Ever
ythi
ngint
her
eisyour
s.Igotandsmashed
yourphone.
"
I'
mlookingathim def
eat
ed.Amen.It r
yopeni
ngthe
doorbutit
slocked.Hegrabsmyf aceandki
sses
me.Ikisshim andwebreakitof
flater
.
"
Ngyakut
handaMaGema.
"
Idon'trepl
ybutj
ustl
ooki
nhi seyes.Thewavesare
calm andthemoonbeaut
if
ul.Igetthatwar
mf uzzy
feel
ingagain.
"
Ulal
ekahl
e(sl
eepwel
l)
.
Iexi
tthecarandhedr i
vesoffonlywhenIshutthe
doorbehindme.Iam metbyasl eepi
ngNanaand
Plut
o.Idon'twakethem upasIundress.Ist
arton
thepotsandlightupasmoke.Iam donecooking
anddishupf ormeandNana.Iwakeherup.
"
Hey.Youhungr
y?"
"
YesUnyezi
."
Ihandhert
hepl
ateandwest
arteat
ing.
"Thatguywhocamet
ofet
chyourcl
othedandPl
uto.
Yourrecent
?"
"
Hismyboyf
ri
end.
"
Shelooksatmesur pri
sed.Ican'tr
emembert helast
ti
meIhadaboyf ri
enditevensoundswei rdsayingit
.
Weeatandshel eaveslater
.Irentamovieon
BoxOffi
ceandcuddlewi t
hPluto.I'
m cryi
nghalf
way
themovie.Acal
ldistur
bsme.Ihavet ochangethis
ri
ngtoneonthi
sphone.Thecal lerI
Di swri
tt
en
"myeniwami"i
yafananoLangakehl eh.
"
Myeniwam?
"
"
Mkami
.Yousoundl
ikeyouwer
ecr
ying.
"
"
Iwaswat
chi
ngar
omant
icmovi
e."
"
Phoukhal
elani
?"(
whyar
eyoucr
ying?
)
"
It
ssad.
"
Helaughsatme.Wet
alkt
il
lIf
allasl
eep.Ir
eal
ly
adoret
hisman.
08
LANGALAKHELI
HLE
Ijustgotof fthephonewi thUnyezi .Ijusthope
she'st hechosenonef orme.Ther ealonet histime.
TheKhuzwayocl ani scur sedorbl essed.Ourgr eat
greatgr eatgr andf atherwasawi tchdoct or .Hisf i
rst
wifehadhadanaf fai rwi thhisbr ot herandmade
khokhobel i
evet hati twashi schildr enf oryear s.
Whenhemethi ssecondwi feshehadgi venhi ma
son.Secr etsdon' tst ayhi ddenf oreversohef ound
outt hattheki dswer enothi sbuthi sbr ot hers.He
putacur seont hef ol lowi nggener ation.Khuzwayo
menandwomenshal lneverhavechi ldreni fnot
witht heir'chosenones' .Nkosi nathiandLangal ami
aren'tmybi ologicalsons.Bongekat rickedmei nto
believingshewast he' chosenone' .Shehadhear d
Khuzwayoomdal at alki ngt oNdabenkhul uabout
thisandst artedsayi ngst uffli
kesheseest hemoon
i
nmyeyes.Shef ellpr egnantwi thNkosi nat hiand
knowi ngshe' st hechosenIwashappy.When
Nkosi nathiwasbor nhel ookedl ikeher .Ourgenes
arever yst rongbutIt houghtmaybeher sar e
stronger .Wi t
hheruphol dingthe' I'
mt hechosen
one' actdadaskedt omeetherandshehadusal l
fooledt rustme.Whenwewant edt opaydowr yso
shecanof fi
ciall
ybemywi feshesai dshewas
pregnantandpost ponedt hewhol et hing.Fort he
baby'ssakeweagr eed.WhenLangal amiwasbor n
helookednot hingl ikeus.Womenandt heirlies,she
saidhel ookedl ikeherdeadgr andf at herandher
mot herbackedherupont hat.Ist arteddr eami ngof
anol dmani nheal ercl othingt ell
ingmet ogetr idof
thesnakei nmyhouse.Idi dn'tgett hisandnei ther
didIknowt hisol dmanbutIcoul dseehewasof
theKhuzwayof ami ly.WhenIhadat alkwi t
hdad
anddescr i
bedt heol dmanhet oldmei twas
ukhokho.Weconsul t
edwi thourauntwhoi nher it
ed
thegi f
t.Shesai dshehasbeenwai tingonus.I
didn'treal
lybelievei nallthisSangomast uff.We
werel etinont hemat t
ert hathi storyhasr epeat ed
i
tself.Theki dswer enotmi ne.Bongekawasn' tthe
chosenone.Idi dn' tbelieveal lthat .WehadDNA
testsdonesecr etlyandt her esul t
sconf i
rmed
everything.Possessedbymygr eatgr eat
grandf at
hersspi ritIkill
edBongeka.Wef akedher
escape.Nobodyknowsofherdeat h.I tshallremai n
thatway.Wegoi ngt oeChamt utovi sitouraunt .
Shemustconf i
rm Unyezi sassumpt ionsonwhat
sheseesi nmyeyes.Ihopeshe' st heonecauseI '
ve
fall
enhar d.Ineverl ovedaf t
erBongeka.Iwasa
smashandl eaveki ndaguy.Unyeziwasj ustthat
l
ightatt heendoft hedar kness.Iknowi t
st ooearly
tomar ryher .Wi t
hal lthei nf
ormat ionIhaveonherI
sti
lldon'tknowherpar entswher eabout s.Ihavemy
goonssear chi ngf orSosi bosinKZN.I '
venevermet
aSosi bobef or e.Ihadt ogoogl ehercl annames.I
headt otheboysgamer oom andt heypl ayingvideo
games.It ookt hem i nasmyownchi l
dren.Inever
hidthef actthatI '
m nott heirrealf ather.Wentasf ar
asaski ngthem i ftheywoul dliket omeett heir
fatherandt heydecl ined.Theyst aywi thmei nour
housei nYel lowWood.I '
mf i
lt
hyr ichbutt hat sa
storyforanot herday.
"
Baba.
",Nkosi
nat
hical
lsout
.
"Baf
anabam(myboys).
",Isaysit
ti
ngonaduf
fel
bagandruf
fl
ingLangashaircausi
nghi
mtohitmy
hand.
"
Y'al
lli
vingal
ready?
",asksLangal
ami
"
Yes.Gogowi
llbeher
etol
ookaf
tery'
al
l.uSbhamu
uyezanaye(
sbhamui
scomi
ngt
oo)
."
"
OkayBaba.UphiuAunt
(wher
eisaunt
y?)
"
"
That'
syourmot
herNkosi
nat
hi.Hernamei
s
Unyezi
."
"
Wehaveamot
her
?",
asksLanga.
"
Yesboys.You'
l
lmeethersoon.
"
Theynodandgetbacktopl
ayi
ngtheirgames.
That
'smycue.Iexi
tandheadout
.Ileavea
messageonthefri
dge.
"Thi
sisUnyezi
snumber.Cal
lheri
fyouneed
anyt
hingandcan'
treachme.**
***
****
*"
Iwalkoutandgeti ntomycaraf teralert
ingthe
securi
tyofmydepar t
ure.Idri
vetoKhuzwayos
house.Wel eavingt odayanddon' tknowwhenwi l
l
comeback.Idi dn'ttellUnyeziI
'ml eavi
ng.I'
llexpl
ain
whenIcomeback.Foroncei nmyl i
feIpraytoGod
thatUnyeziistheone.Shehast obe.Eveni fshe's
notI'
m stayi
ngwi thher .FuckKhokho.
09
UNYEZI
Iknockedof faboutanhouragoandI '
mt ryingt o
callLangaagai nandhi sphonegoest ovoi cemai l
agai n.IknowIshoul dgiveupcal lingsincei tsbeen
twodayswi thhi m MIAbutIam wor ri
ed.I 'm
stuffingmyf aceandI '
m amess.Iwasr eleased
earlyatwor kt odaycauseIhadabr eakdown.Mr
Mayawentasf arasgi vi
ngmesomet imeof fwor k.
Iam st uf f
ingmyf acewi thpancakesImade.I tsa
bitlatef orpancakesbutIdon' tcar e.Plutoi swi th
Nana.Mymoodi ssetti
nghi m offandIdon' twant
that.It extLangaagai n"Langapl easeanswermy
callsandt exts.Ifyou'r
ei gnori
ngmet hanmanup
tel
lmewhatIdi d."Isendi tanddeci det ocal lhim
agai n.Itsstil
lgoest ovoi cemail.Ileaveamessage
"Khuzwayo.Ar eyouokay?Whyar eyoui gnor i
ng
me? !LangaI 'l
lshootyoui nyourf uckenscr otum if
youdon' tcallmeback! "Ijustcryanddr opt hecal l.
Whati fhishur t?Hedi dsaynotever yonel i
kest he
Khuzwayos.I '
m di st
urbedbymyphoner inging.I
answerwi t
houtchecki ngt hecal l
erID.
"
Langa?
"
"
Uhchanganeyam.UMam'
Thandil
o."
"
Oh.
"I'
m al
it
tl
ebi
tdi
sappoi
nted.
"
Iwor
kforMrLanga.I
'
m hi
ski
dsnanny.
"
"
Ohokayma.I
shear
ound?I
sheokay?
"
"No.Helef
twithhisfat
herandbrother
stoat t
enda
famil
ymatter
.Ijustgotacallt
hat
..
.that.
..t
hatmy
husbandhasdiedand...
i-
i-
ihavet
ogohomet o
prepar
eforhi
sbur i
al.
"
"
Iunder
standma.
"
"Cant heki
dsstaywi
thyou?Langasai
dweshoul
d
callyouifweneedanyt
hing.
"
Ikeepquiet.I
'
veonlymetNkosinathionceandwe
didn'
ttal
k.Ihavetol
ookaf t
ert
woboyswhodon' t
evenknowwhot hefuckIam?!I
'm gonnakil
lLanga!
"
Uhma.
"
"
Ngyak'
cel
anganeyam.
(pl
easemychi
ld.
)"
Isi
ghandr
ubmygl
abel
la.
"
Okayma.Pl
easesendt
headdr
ess.
"
"
Thankyou.
"
"
I'
llbet
her
etof
etcht
hem soon.
"
Ihearhercal
lNkosi
nathi
.Thereisshuf
fl
ingont
he
otherl
inebef
oreavoicespeaks.
"
Ma.UNkosi
nat
hil
o."
Ma?Langa!
"Yesboy.Uh.
..I
'
llf
etchy'
al
lokay?Sendt
he
address.
"
"
Okayma.
"
Idropt hecal l
.Ma?KuUnyeziSosi bo?Idon'teven
botherchangi ngoutoft hi
sonesieassoonasI
receivetheaddr ess.Igr abmycarkeysandi nf
orm
NanaI 'l
lbeoutf oraf ew.Theyst ayinyell
owwood
andmyl itt
lecardoesn' tfi
tint
hisneighborhood.
Thewal l
sar ehigh.I t
sdeadqui ethere.Nosoundof
achi l
dpl ayi
ng.Not hi
ng.Notevenmusi c.Iparkin
frontofaver yt allgate.Ipresstheinter
com.
"
Unyezi
.I'
m her
etof
etcht
heki
ds.
"
Thegat
eopensupormaybet hefir
stgateopensup.
I'
minst
ructedtogetoutofthecarandIdoso.My
cari
ssearchedandtheyfinal
lyl
etmeinwhent hey
seeitssafe.Iam metbyal ongdri
vewayandIam
l
ooki ngatthi
shouseandIhavet osay.Ionl
ysee
thesekindofhousesonHomeChannel .Iparkmy
toycarandwal koutlooki
nglikeIr
anfrom t
he
asylum.Therearesecurit
ywi t
hgunsstandi
ngst il
l
i
nposi ti
ons.I'
m ver
ycur i
ousofLangasoccupation
andbankbal anceri
ghtnow.Iam metbyat allscary
manbyt hedoor.
"
Uh.Hi
."
"
MaGemawakhe.I
gamauSbhamu.
"
Sbhamu?Whatkindofnameisthat?Heshoul
d've
namedhimsel
f'Skhal
i'
causehelooksl
ikea
weapon.
"
Wewi l
laccompanyyouwit
h3SUVswit
hmymen
i
nsi
de.Wear et
oinsur
eyoursaf
ety.
"
Ijustst
areatt
hismanwidemouthed.SUVs?Ionl
y
seethoseonmovies.It
hinkI
'
m gonnafai
nt.
"
You'
reokay?
"
Inodf
astmaki
ngmedi
zzi
er.
"
Shi
t!
",
Isaybal
anci
ngmysel
fwi
tht
hewal
l.
"
Letmehel
pyou.
"
Hehel psmei nsideandi t
sbeaut i
fulashell
.The
ti
lesaresocl eanIcanseemysel f.Hesit
smeon
thecouch.If eell
ikearoachont hesewhi t
e
coaches.Hecomesbackwi t
hawomani nherl at
e
40s.Shel ooksver ybeauti
fulbutyoucan'tmissthe
dar kbagsunderhereyes.Iguessshei s
Mam' Thandi.Shehandsmeagl assofwat erandI
drinkitdown.
"
Thankyouf
orcomi
ng.
"
"
It
sokayma.
"
"
Baf
ana!
",Sbhamucal
lsout
.
Ihearfoot
stepsandt
hedraggi
ngofasui tcase.I
l
ookupandyoucanseet heupstai
rs.Iswearthat
stai
rcasei
smadeofmarble.Nkosi
nathiandaver y
cuteboycomesdown.TheystandnexttoSbhamu.
"
SawubonaMa.
",t
heysaysi
mul
taneousl
y.
"
Uhheyhey.Youokay?
"
"
Yeboma.
",answer
sNkosi
nat
hi.
"
Youwi
llbest
ayi
ngwi
thmet
il
lyourf
athercomes
back.Anduh..
.Si
nceschooli
scl
osedI
'
llt
akesome
ti
meof fwor
k."
"
Babasaidyouar
eourmom.Ar
eyou?
",sayst
he
l
it
tl
efel
low.
Il
ookatSbhamuandMam'
Thandiandt
heyj
ust
l
ookatme.
"
I-
uh.Yes.Iam yourmom f
rom nowon.
"
OhJehovah!Iam sweat
ingr
ightnow.
"
Let
s..
.Let
'sgo.
"
Sbhamutakest
hei
rsui
tcaseandl
eadst
hem
out
side.
"
Ma.Aretheyal
ler
gict
oanyt
hing?Ar
etheychoosy
wheni
tcomestofood?"
"No.Theyeatanyt
hingaslongast herei
smeat .
Theirbankcar
disintheotherbag.Itsablackcar
d
sonopasswor dneeded.
"
Didshej ustsay?Nowayt hesekidshaveabl ack
card!Idon'tevenhaveonemysel f!Inodandwal k
outside.TheSUVsar er
eadyandt heki dsarei
nmy
car.Igetinandlookatthem thr
ought herearview
mirror.Theyjustsi ttherelookingatme.Lor dbe
withme.Idr iveof fwi tht
hecar sfollowi
ngbehi nd
me.I '
m playi
ngsomeDr akeint hecarand
Nkosinathisingsal ong.Goodt asteyouhaveki d.I
explaintotheguar dsaboutt heSUVsandIl ieabit.
Idriveinandt heyf ollowbehind.Whenwegetout
theygoi nfir
stt ochecki feverythingissafe.I'
ve
neverbeeni nt hissituati
onbef ore.Inoti
ceAndr ew
andNanawal kingtowar dsuswi t
hPl ut
oont heirt
ail
.
Imisshi m.Bef oret heyevenr eachust heyare
stopped.
"
Iknowt
hem.I
tsokay.
"
Theyarelett
hroughandPlut
obarksatt
hesemen.
Hisanxi
ousIcant el
lbyhi
stai
landthehai
ronhi
s
back.
"
It
sokayPl
uto.Comeher
e."
HerunstomeandIbrushhimti
llhi
sabi
tcal
m.St
il
l
doesn'
ttr
ustt
hesest
ranger
s.
"
Youcanent
er.Al
lcl
ear
."
Wemakeourwayi nsidewit
htheki
dsandIsitdown
assoonasIgeti
nside.Thethi
ngsLangaput
sme
t
hroughkodwa.
"
What
'sgoi
ngonUnyezi
?",
asksAndr
ew.
"
It
snot
hing.Y'
al
lcanl
eavePl
uto.
"
Theyl
eavewi
thwar
ryl
ooks.
"
Nkosi
nat
hiandLanga.Mi
ndshar
ingar
oom?
"
Theyshaket
hei
rheads.
"
Huh?
"
"
Chama.
"
"Okay.Thisi
smydogPl uto.Hesleepsinther
oom
attheendofthepassage.Yourroom isnextt
ohis.
Mineisthefi
rstone.That
st heki
tchenandthi
sis
thechil
li
ngroom.Itsasmallspace."
"
It
sokayma.Weappr
eci
ateyoul
ooki
ngaf
terus.
"
"
Arey'
al
lhungr
y?"
"
Yeboma.
"
Thatsthebathr
oom.Hotwateri
sther
e.Showerand
abath.Gotakeabathandgetcomfor
tabl
einyour
room I
'l
lcooksomet
hing.
"
Theystandupandheadtowardst hepassage.Okay.
Whatam Igonnacook?Istandtherewiththefri
dge
open.Worsandpap?Letaddabi tofchakalaka.I
havesomeorangejui
ce.Okay.Istartcooki
ng.
I'
m hal
fwayt hr
oughwit
ht hepotswhent heycome
backdressedinFendit
racksuits.Thesekidsar
e
l
ikethe'r
ichestki
dsinmzansi'actual
lyI
'l
llookt
hat
l
istup.
"Ihavenet
fl
ix.BoxOff
ice.DSTvExpl
oraal
lchannel
s
paidfor
.Myl apt
ophasr eal
lygoodmovi
es.And
therei
sWiFihere."
"Wedon'thavephones.Babasaysweyoung.
",says
Langa.
"Good.Thefoodwi l
lbereadysoon.Gr
absome
snacksinthatcupboardther
e.Langai
sthef
ir
stone.
"
NosugarLanga.
"
Hetakesoutpopcor
n.Nkosi
nat
hitakeschocol
ate
bi
scuit
sandSimbasaltandvi
negarchips.
"
Ther
e'sj
uicei
nthef
ri
dge.Mi
lkt
oo.
"
Langat
akesj
uiceandt
heygosi
tdown.Assoonas
thepotsar ereadyIdishupandl eavet hefoodt o
cool.Theywat chingamovi esoIqui cklygot akea
shower .Istandunderthecoldwat erandj ustsoak
i
tallin.Theyal ll
eft
.Nocallnothi
ng.Idi dn'tthi
nk
thi
sishowI 'l
lmeetthekids.Theyseem wel l
groomedt hou.Igetoutbef or
eIstartcr yi
ngand
wearsomeswagpant sandhoodie.Theyst il
l
watchingamovi e.
"
Comeeat
."
Theypauset
hemovi
eandst
andup.Wesi
tont
he
count
er.
"
Let
'spr
ay.
",saysLanga.
Iputdownmyspoonandhol
dthei
rhands.
"
DearGod.Blessthi
smealandt
hehandst
hatmade
i
t.Thankyoufort
hismeal
asother
smaynothavei
t.
Amen."
Weal lsay'Amen'andstar
teatinginsilence.I
'
m
taki
ngt hem onsomeshoppingf orsnacksand
maybewi nt
ercl
othesasit
swi nterseason.Maybe
wecangot oShakaMarineWor ld.Plut
oi seat
ing
hisdogf ood.OhPlut
o.Wear ewayi ntodeepnow.I
l
ookatt hi
ski
ds.Theydon'
tlookanythi
ngli
kethe
Khuzwayos.I
tsnoneofmybusi nesssoIdon'
t
dwellonthet
houghtmuch.
10
UNYEZI
I'
mi nt
heocean.Itsastrawber ryf
ullmoontoday.
Langawalksovertomeandhesmi lesatme.We
bothnakedandIdon'tknowhowbutt heocean
opensupandhel eadsusi nside.Hestandsinfront
ofmeandcover smybodywi thhisandt heocean
fal
lsonus.Ithi
nkI'm gonnadr ownwhenIt ake
normalbreat
hes.Helet'smegoandwhenwet urn
aroundwemetbywomenandmen.Anol dman
walksuptousandhesmear suswi thsomethi
ng
andpushesmeback.
Iwakeupsweat yandcatchingbreaths.Whatwas
that
?I'
m usedt onightmaresbutthisonefeltreal
.
Eventhatpush.Itsli
keIwasbei ngpushedt o
consci
ousness.Iwakeupandi ts05:24andIdon' t
havework.Ili
ghtupmyci garet
teandgot hrough
myphone.St i
llnothi
ngfrom Langa.Ijustl
istento
musictil
lit
s06:33andIgetoutofbed.Ist
arton
breakf
ast.TheboysareupbysevenandI '
m making
pancakesnow.Theylookcleanandsmellgood.
Theycleanfreaks.
"
Goodmor
ningma.
",t
heysay.
Langahugsmeandt akesaseat.Myeyeswell
upa
l
it
tle.Whenwast helastt
imeIgotahug.Never
mindLangas.Hej ustmademyday.Ievenstop
wor r
yingaboutt
hatdream.
"
Eatupandaf
terthatwecangot
oShakaMar
ine
Worl
dandPavi
li
on."
"
Ohma.If
orgot
.Her
eisourcar
d."
Nkosi
nat
hihandsmeaNedbankBl
ackCar
d.We
mayneedthi
sfort
heday.
"Okayzi
thandwa.Letmegobath.PleasepourPl
uto
somedogf oodifhewakesupwhileI'
m sti
ll
bathi
ng.
"
"
Okaymama.
",saysLanga.
Manthi
ski
dwantstomakemecr
y.Ismi
leand
headf
ormyroom.Mama?Tome?Igett
hatwarm
fuzzyf eel
ing.Iundr essandwal ktotheensui teand
getthewat erreadywhi leIsmokeaci gar
ette.Iget
i
nwheni t
sr eady.Itakea30mi nutesbathandwal k
outwi t
hmyski nwr i
nkledup.Jeansandki cks.
Wher e'sthat2pachoodi e?Uhthereyouar e.If i
nish
dressingupandIj ustspraymyunr ulyafroabi t.I
fi
ndt heboysdoneeat ingandwat chingTV.Pl utois
sit
ti
ngwi t
ht hem andt heybrushinghi m
absent minded.It akeapi ct
ure.
"
Okayboys.Letmeeatandt
hanwe'
l
lgetgoi
ng.
"
"
Okay.
"
Idi
shupwhat'
slef
tofbreakf
astandeat
.It
extNana.
Idr
inksomej
uiceandburp.
"
Excuseme.
"
Igetmyhandbagandchecki
fever
ythi
ngi
sther
e.
Wherear
emycarkeys?Yes.
"
Let
'sgoboys.
"
IopenthedoorandI'm metbymen.Whatt he?Shi
tI
for
gotaboutthem.Nanawal kst
owardsus.She
empti
esallherpocket
sandshei sl
etin.Nkosi
passesPl
utot
oher
.Langagi
vesherhi
sbag.
"
Thankyou.I
'
llseey'
al
l.
"
Il
ockt
hedoor
.
"
Wher
ear
ey'
al
lheaded?
"
Ei
shSbhamuMann!
"
Wegoi
ngt
otheShakaMar
ineandPavi
li
on.
"
"
Twowi
llaccompanyyoui
ntheSUV.
"
"
SoI
'
m notdr
ivi
ng?
"
"
No.
"
Ipasshi m mykeysdef eatedandheadt owar dsthe
bigblackSUV.Youcan' tseeshi tfr
om theout si
de.
It
sjustbl ack.Theyopent hedoorf orusandweget
i
n.Theki dsareusedt ot hisI'
mt heonlyupt i
ghtone.
Thedr iveissil
ent.Theydr iveintoShakaandpay
forparking.Wegetout .Theymai ntai
nadi st
ance
from us.Ifyoudon' tknowt heywithust hanyou
won'tknowatal l
.IhaveLangashandI '
m mine.We
headf orsomecot t
oncandyf i
rst.
"
Ilovecot
toncandy!
",
shout
sLanga.
"
Yesbaby.
"
Webuyandheadt owardstheaquari
um.Weunder
t
heoceanjustprot
ect
edbygl ass.Wewal
kinand
t
heseacreatur
esmovear oundus.
"
Ashar
k!"
Langat ouchest hegl assandheadmi resit
.
Nkosinat hiisi
nvest edont heot
hersi de.Jel
lyfish.I
am alsoenj oyingt hi
s.Iloveani
mal s.Wewal kout
aft
erenj oyingour selves.Wegointoever yplace
beforefinallygoingt ogetsomef ood.Wear eata
buffetstoreandt heki dsareenj
oyingt hefoodand
soam I .Af t
ereatingweheadbackt otheparkinglot.
Theyopent hedoor sforus.
"
Pavi
li
on.
"
Theystar
tdri
vingandLangai sonasugarr ush
fr
om thecandyhisbeeneati
ngt oday.Hi stell
ingme
abouthowkidsathisschoolwillbesoj ealousthat
hehasapr et
tymom.Hemakesmepr omi set o
att
endhismeetingssohecanbr agt othet eachers.
Thiski
disthesweetest.Hefal
lsasl eeponmyl ap
andNkosinat
hisleepsonmyshoul der.Fr om
eThekwi
nit
oePavai
squi
teadi
stance.Iam woken
upbytheguar
dcal
li
ngme.
"
Ma'
am.We'
vear
ri
ved.
"
"
Thankyou.
"
Ishaket hesetwoandweal lgetoutst i
ll
disorientated.Langai sholdingont ome.Wewal k
i
nsi deandIt akethem t oSpor tscenef ir
st .Nokid
willwearFendiandVer sacebef ore18.That '
sa
wast eofmoney.Ipi ckoutj eansf orthem.Hoodi es.
T-shirts.Wepayandheadt owar dsSt udio88f or
kicks.Nkosi nathipicksouthi schoi ceandIchoose
forLanga.Weheadt oMr Price.Ibuyhoodi esand
boxer s.Wehandt hecl othestot heguar ds.Wehead
toWool wor t
hsandIgetmysel fsomekni tt
ed
jerseysandLangat akesonet oo.Ibuyt hem
toil
etriesandski npr oductf orLanga.It hinkthats
enough.Pyj amas!Ibuyt hem war m pyj amasand
headf orgroceryshoppi ng.Wepur chaseandor der
somepi zza.Itsabi tlateandsomeshopsar e
closing.Weheadt ot hecarandwear etired.
11
UNYEZI
Ifeell
ikeasinglemotherlat
ely.Nkosinathiwentout
withhisfri
endsyester
dayandhecameback
smelli
ngl i
keweedandal cohol.Iquesti
onedandhe
answer edmel i
keudil
ikaesi
hlahleni
.Iwhi ppedhi
s
assandhi scleani
ngthehouseal onetoday.
"
Nat
hi!
"
"
Ma!
"
Hecomesi
nwi
pinghi
shandsandst
andsi
nfr
ontof
me.
"
Ma?
"
"Whenyoudonewashi
ngt
hedi
shesi
ronLangas
clot
hes.
"
Henodsandwal ksoff.Iwon'
tli
vewi thastonerand
al
coholic.Ihaven'
tsmokedweedsi ncetheyarr
ived
heretobeagoodexampl eandIdon' tsmoke
ci
garett
esi nfr
ontofthem.Langai sbusyonmy
phone.AllIdoiscleanandcooksi nceItooksome
ti
meof ffrom work.Imisshavi
ngsomet hingtodo
sometimes.IgetupandNkosi nathiispackingthe
dishes.I
t'
s15h45andIbet
terst
artcooki
ng.Ist
art
taki
ngouttheingr
edi
ent
s.
"
Ma.
"
It
urnar
oundandNkosi
nat
hii
sst
andi
ngt
her
e.
"I
'
m sor ryaboutyester
day.Idontsmokeandnei t
her
doIdr i
nk.Yesterdaywasami stake.Iknowyou
missingwor ktotakecareofusandIshoul d
appreciatethat
.Sorryfort
hethingsIsaidtoo.
"
Nowt
hat
swhatIwant
edt
ohear
.
"
Comeher
e."
Helandsi
nmyarmsandweembr
aceeachot
her
.
Thi
schil
dissot
all
.
"
Idon'
tknowanyt
hingaboutbei
ngamotherbut
meetmehalf
way.I
'mtryi
ngmybesther
e."
"
Ithi
nkyou'
redoi
nggoodmom.
"
Igett
hatwarmf uzzyfeel
ingagain.Ineverthought
I'
dbeamother.Wel etgoandIgetbackt ocooking.
It
sbeentwoweeksandt heyst
il
lnotbackandt hei
r
phonesgostr
aighttovoicemail
.Imi ssLangaso
badandIneedtogetl ai
dsoon.
"
Ma.Yourphonei
sri
ngi
ng.
"
"
ThanksLanga.
"
It
aket
hephone.I
tsanunknownnumber
.
"
Hel
lo"
Theot
herper
sonj
ustbr
eat
hesi
ntot
hephone.
"
Whenyou'
redonebr
eat
hinghangyour
sel
f.
"
IdropthephoneandLangaisgonesoIputi
tonthe
counter
.AsI'
m gett
ingdonewit
hmylastpoti
tri
ngs
again.I
tst
hesameunknownnumber .
"
Donebr
eat
hing?
"
"
Sor
ryaboutt
hat
."
Iam gobsmackedasIr
ecogni
set
hedeepvoi
ce.
"
Langa?
"
"
Unyezi
?"
"
Wherehaveyoubeen?Doyouknowhowwor ri
ed
I
'
vebeen?Actual
lydon'
tanswert
hat
.Fuckyou!
"
Idropthecal
landIfeel
tear
swel
lup.Dontcr
y!I
missedhim.Imissedhi
m.Heshoul
d'vet
oldmehe
wasleavi
ng.Hei
sbackmaybe.It
aket
hephone
andcallt
henumberagai
n.
"
Hel
lo.
"
"
Langa?
"
"
Thi
sisNdabenkhul
u.Letmegi
vehi
mthephone.
"
Ther
eisshuf
fl
ingandyel
li
ngbef
orehi
svoi
ce
comesthr
ough.
"
Unyezi
.Ut
hukami
na?
(you'
reswear
ingatme)
"
Whodoeshet
hinkIwasswear
ing?Iwon'
t
apol
ogi
zef
ort
hatfut
hiI
'l
lsayi
tagai
nifIwantt
o.
"Youl eftwit
houtt ell
ingme.DoyouknowhowIwas
worried?Ihadaf uckenbreakdownatwor kthinking
maybesomet hinghappenedt oyouormaybeyou
j
ustdi dn'tl
ovemeanymor e.Ihadtotakethekidsin
causeMam' Thandil ostherhusband!Ihadt obea
mom!Idontknowshi taboutbeingamom Langa!
Doyouknowhowf rustrat
ingitwas?!Youletkids!
Kids!Wearcl ot heswor thmyr entever
ymont h!I'
m
sexual l
yfrustratedLanga!Don' tyougetit
?Ifucken
l
oveyou!Act ual l
yfuckyouagai n!"
Idr
opthecal
landIsi
tdowncr
ying.LangaasNat
hi
wal
kin.
"
Mama.Mom.
"
Iqui
ckl
ywi
pemyt
ear
s.
"Mybabies.Ar
ey'
allhungr
y?Wecanor
dersome
pizzabef
oredi
nnerti
mecomes."
"
Mom.You'
renotokay.
"
Ilookatthem.Theylooksocute.Nkosi
nathil
ooks
reall
yfemini
nebutyoucan'tmissthemasculi
nity
andLangai sacuti
e.WithLangacomingbackI '
l
l
mi ssst
ayingwit
hthem.Ihaveevengottenusedt o
theguardsoutsi
de.
"
Let
'sgosi
t.Gr
absnacks.
"
Wegr
absnacksandIswi
tchof
fthest
ove.
"
Wewat
chi
ngact
ion.
"
"
Chooseamovi
e."
Wesi
tdownandNat
higoest
hroughmovi
es.
"
Yourdadcal
led.
"
Theylookatmeandgetbackt owatchingTV.We
al
lchil
landwatchmoviestil
lweallhungry.Ist
and
upandgodi shup.Somebodyopenst hedoor
abruptl
y.Il
ookupanditsLanga.Hisbreathi
ng
heavil
y.
"
Getout
."
"
Unyezi
."
"
Getout
.Knock.
"
"
Mkami
."
"
Isai
dgetoutandknock!
"
Heheadsfort
hedoorpi
ssedandknocks.Iheadf
or
t
hedoorandopenit
.
"
Hel
lo.
"
"
Unyezi
.CanIcomei
n?"
Imakespacef orhim andthewholeKhumaloclan
walksin.Myapar t
mentisnotthatbi
gastheysiton
couchesandot hersf
indspace.Theboysarehappy
toseetheiruncl
es.Langaisstandi
nginfr
ontofme.
"
Canwet
alk?
"
Inodandweheadf ormybedr
oom.Hestarts
pacingasheent
ersandIcl
osethedoor
.I'
m wai
ti
ng
forhimtost
oppacing.
"
Youaremakingmedizzy.You'
llpaceahol
eint
o
mycar
pet.Hestopsandlooksatme.
"
IthoughtIwasgonnal
oseyou.It
houghtI
-I
-"
Hegr absmeandki ssesme.Imissedthis.Imi ss
him.Ikisshim backasIpullhim cl
oser.Ithought
wewer egonnatalkbutthi
sistal
kingenough.He
l
ift
smeupandput smeont hebed.I'
m alloverhim
andt hewayhi shumpi ngonmewi thhisbulgei s
dri
vingmecr azy!Amoanescapesmymout hand
hegr oans.Thatsoundagain.Hisgroansar eso
enti
cing.
"
Langa.
",Imoanout
.
Heki ssesmyjawli
neandt r
ail
sdowntomyneck.
Hel i
cksandblowsairear
ningamoanfrom me.I
rememberhisf ami
lyi
sintheli
vingr
oom andI
didn'
tcloset
hepots.
"
Khuzwayost
op.
"
Hestopskissi
ngmeandr oll
sovert
othebedand
covershisf
ace.Webothbreathi
ngheavi
lyand
l
ooksatme.Imi ssedt
heocean.Theoceanseems
calmtodayandthemoonlooksbeauti
ful
.Myown
l
itt
lehaven.
"
Uthef
uckyouki
mi.
(yousai
dfuckyout
ome.
)"
Oht
hat
.
"
Yousaiditt
wice.Your
aisedyourvoi
ceatme
Unyezi
."
Isitupandlookathim.Hehashishandsbehi
nd
hisheadandt hel
ookhisgivi
ngshouldbemaki
ng
mewetmypant sbuttheonlywetthi
ngismy
pantiescausedoeshelooksexyangry.
"I
'
m notgonnaapol
ogizeforthat
.Youdeser
vedi
t.
Sorr
yforrai
singmyvoiceatyouthou.
"
"
Doyoul
oveme?
"
Hesitsupmakesmesi
tontopofhi
m.Il
ookathi
m.
DoIlovehi
m?Yes.I
'
vefal
lensohar
dIswearhi
sall
It
hinkabout
.
"
Ido.Idol
oveyou.
"
Whenhel ef
twit
houtsayinggoodbyeIthoughtIl
ost
hi
m.Ikeptoncreatingscenar
iosinmyheadof
whatmayhavehappenedt ohim andIbrokedown.
Theonethatscaredmet hemostishi
m dead.Ifeel
hi
sfinger
srubbingmycheeks.
"I
'
m sorry.Stopcr
ying.IknowIwaswrongbutI
didn'
tknowhowI '
dt el
lyouwhereIwasgoi
ngwith
whatawai t
edmeathome.Iwasscar ed.
"
"
Wher
ewer
eyou?
"
"
Iwenthome.EChamt
u.Ineededanswer
s."
Hekissesmeandwegot otheother
s.Idi
shupand
i
tsnotenoughsoImakenoodlesforme.Theyt
ake
t
heirplat
esandIhandLangahis.
"
Whyar
eyoueat
ingnoodl
es?
"
"
Thef
oodwasn'
tenoughf
oral
lofus.
"
"
Comeeatwi
thme.
"
Langathou.Hemakesmesi
tont
opofhi
m and
feedsme.
"
I'
mful
lnow.
"
"
Eat
.You'
vel
ostwei
ght
."
Hekeepsonf eedi
ngmet i
llIf
eelli
keI'
llburst.He
st
opsfinal
lyandItryget
ti
ngof fhi
m butheshakes
hi
shead.Heeat swhil
etal
kingtohisbrothers.
"You'
resl
eepi
ngoverr
ight
?",
Iwhi
spert
ohi
m and
henods.
Hethi
nkshegotawayeasy.Iwanthi
mt ot
ellme
whythefuckhelef
twi
thoutevent
ext
ingme.PlusI
needtogetl
aid.
12
UNYEZI
Langal
amiisshar
inghowIwhippedNathi
sassand
madehim dothecleani
ngandt
heylaughi
ng.
"
Baba.Ebenzaso(
hewasdoi
ngt
his)
"
Hethanmi
micsNathiwhil
escreami
ng"mamayoh!
Sor
ryma!Ngekengi
phinde!Mamayhii
i!
"andt
hese
bi
gheadsar
elaughi
ng.
"
Yekaniumt
anami
.Woza.
"
Nat
hist
ickshi
stongueoutandcomest
ome.
"
You'
l
ltur
ntheseki
dst
opussi
es.
",
saysLanga
"
SoNkosinat
hiawusho.Bakushayel
eni
?",
asks
Khul
ekani
.
Hel
ooksatme.I
'
m notgonnal
ief
oryou.
"I
-Icamebackhomelat
e.Dr
unkandhi
ghandIwas
disrespect
fult
oma.
"
"Di
dyousayhi
gh?Ubhemai nt
sanguwena?(
you
smokeweed?)
",Langaaskshi
m andNat
hidoesnt
answer
.
"
Disrespect
ful
?Di
srespect
ful
Nkosi
nat
hi?Woza
l
a!(
comeher e)
"
Heat
temptst
ogr
abhi
m butIj
umpi
nfr
ont
.Theyal
l
st
andup.
"
Khuzwayo.Mxol
ele.Sengi
mshayi
le(
for
givehi
m.
I
'
vehithi
m.)"
,It
ryreasonj
ng.
"MaGemahl
ehl
a.Nkosi
nat
hiwozal
a.(
move.come
her
e.)
"
Ndabenkhulutr
iessnat
chi
nghi
m andIpul
lhi
m
awayfrom him.
"
Sengimshayil
ekodwaboKhuzwayo.Uxol
isi
le
f
uthi
.(
I'
vehithi
m.Heapologi
zed.
)"
"
Baba.Ungamshayi
.(
don'
thi
thi
m)"
,Langal
amit
ri
es
r
easoni
ngtoo.
"
Phumani
.(
leave)
"
Theyal
lsendl
ookst
owar
dsNkosi
nat
hiandhe
hol
dsmet i
ght
er.
"
Got
oyourr
oom.Don'
tfor
gett
obr
ushyourt
eet
h."
Theygot ot
heirroom withLangaapol ogi
si ngfor
tel
li
ngt hem abouttheincident.Igoopent hedoor
andt heygetti
nginsidetheSUV.Theguar dsar est
il
l
here.Langaclosest hedoorandcomest owar dsme.
Hel i
ghtshiscigaret
teandIcl osethedoorand
standnexttohi m.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
orNkosi
sbehavi
or.We'
l
ltal
ktohi
m."
"
It
sokay.Puber
tyhi
tshar
d.Justdon'
thi
thi
m."
Hehandsmethecigaret
teandpull
smet ost
andi
n
f
rontofhi
m.Theguardsarelooki
ngatus.
"
You'
dmakeagoodmom.
"
"
No.Iam agoodmom.
"
Helooksatmeandsmil
es.Thosedi
mpl
esagai
n.I
bl
owsmokeonhi sf
aceandhecoughs.
"
HayimanUnyezi
!"
Ilaughathi m asIputt hecigar et
teoutandwewal k
backi nside.Icleanar oundandputt hedi shesi nthe
dishwasher .Icheckont hekidsandt heysl eeping.I
refi
llPluto'swat erandcl osehi swi ndow.Hi sbeen
playingwi ththeki dsandt heylovehi m.Iwal ki nmy
room andi t
sempt y.Theshoweri sr unning.Ist ri
p
nakedandIst andbyt hedooradmi ri
nghi m.Hi sgot
veryni celegsandt heylookgr eatwi ththose
bracket s.Hisgotver ymuscul arthighsandt hey
havet hosev' s.Inevernot i
cedwhatacut ebut the
has.Hi sbackmuscl esfl
exashemoveshi s
shoul ders.Howdi dIgett hismant obemi ne?Hi s
perfect.Hisgott hisbeautifulgoldenbr ownski n
thatlooksbeaut ifulasthewat erst reamsdownhi s
body.
"
Icanf
eelyoureyes.
"
Het
urnsar
oundandhesmi
les.Hi
ssmi
lel
it
eral
ly
makesmeweak.
"
Joi
nme.
"
Iwal
ki ntheshowerandt hewateri
scoldcausing
metoshr iek.It
urnthewatert
emperat
ure.Asitgets
warm Ifeelhim behi
ndme.
"Soyoureadyt
ot el
lmewhatyouhadt odoback
home?",
Iaskwithoutt
urni
ngaround.
If
eelhi
m washmyback.
"Wehave..
.Itsacurse.
..Noact
ual
lyi
tsabl
essi
ng.
Youprobablywon'tbel
ieveme.
"
"
No.Tr
yme.
"
Het
urnsmear
oundandst
art
swashi
ngmychest
.
"I
tsaKhuzwayot hi
ng.Weonlyshalli
mpregnat
eor
getpregnantbyasoulchosenf orusbythe
ancestors.I
tssortofli
keasoumate.Those
soulmateswillseeacertai
nsceneryi
noureyes.
Themoonandt heocean."
"Thatmeansyou'
vef
oundyoursoulmat
eandi
ts
notme.It
stheboysmother
."
Hehol
dmeasIt
rypul
li
ngaway.
"Theboysarenotmybi ologi
calsons.Thei rmother
overheadaconversat i
onshewasn' tsupposet o
hearandusedi tasanadvant age.Shehadus
fool
ed.Mademebel ieve..
.mademebel ievethe
boyswer emine.Shel eftassoonassher eal
isedwe
hadf oundoutthetruth.Butyou.You'r
ear emyt rue
chosenone.Eveni fyouwer en'
tIwouldst il
lchoose
you."
"I
'
m anathi
estandnei
theram It
radi
ti
onal
.Ift
hat
's
howiti
sthanokay.
"
"
Didyouhaveanywei
rddr
eam ofme?
"
"No.Act
ual
lyyes.Wewer
eintheocean.Icould
breat
heunderwater
.Wei
rdr
ight
?Therewer e
peoplet
her
e.Thisol
dmensmeareduswi th
somethi
ngandhepushedme.Iwokeupaf tert
hat
."
Hesmi lesandkissesme.Hepr essesmeagainst
thewallandheuseshi skneetopar tmyl
egs.His
handgoest omyvagi naandhepar tsmyfol
dsand
rubsmycl i
t.Heinsert
sonef i
ngerandheinsert
s
anotherandIfl
inchabi t
.Ihaven'
thadsomei na
whi
le.
"
Sti
lli
ntact
."
Andhegoesbackt okissingmeashepumpshi s
fi
nger si
nandoutwhi lehisthumbr ubsmycl it
.I
feelabuil
dcomi ng.Igr i
phisshoulder sasIcum.
Hel i
ftsmylegupandput sitar
oundhi swaist.He
i
nsertshimselfandIsqui rm alit
tl
e.ManIf orgot
howbi gheis.Af t
eraf ewsecondshest art
smovi ng.
Ihavet oadmit.Iwashavi ngahar dtimewi t
hmy
cravi
ngsbutt hekidskeptmebusy.Hest art
sof f
slowly.Hi
skissingmyneckandr unninghishand
upanddownmyt higharoundhiswai st.Hi
sot her
handi spl
ayingwi thmyni pple.
"
IloveyouMaGema.
"
Il
ookathi
m andt
hemoonandoceanar
ether
e.
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
HegoesindeeperandIarchmybackashehi t
smy
g-
spot.Hekeepshit
ti
ngmyg-spotandIcum.My
l
egsareshakingasIbegi
ntosli
dedownthewal l
butLangapi
cksmeup.Het ur
nsoffthewaterand
walkstomybed.Helaysmedownsof t
ly.
"
CanIgetabi
trough?I
'
m al
it
tl
eagi
tat
ed.
"
Di
dhej
ustaskf
ormyper
missi
on?Inodmyhead.
"
Useyourwor
ds.
"
"
Yes.
"
Hestandsupandtakesouthisst
ri
ngf
rom hi
s
swagpantandcomesbacktome.ManIlovebei
ng
ti
ed.Heti
esmyhandst oget
her.
"
Keept
hem t
her
e."
Hegoesoutandcomesbackwi thi cecubes.He
putsonei nhi smout h.Hecomest owar dsmeand
heki ssesmeandhest artst
racingki ssesf rom my
j
awl inedownwar ds.Thecol dnessofhi sl i
psis
sendi ngmeovert heedge.Hepl ayswi ththeiceon
myni ppl
esandhet r
acest hem downt i
llmybel l
y
button.Hel eavesi tthereandt urnsmear ound.I
feelhim enterfrom behi ndandhegoesdeep.Shi t
!
Hest artsgoingr eall
yf astandhei sgoingdeeper .
I'
mt ryingtokeepi tdownf orthesakeofmyki ds.I
uset hepill
owt osubsi demymoans.Hespanksmy
buttandhol dsmyhi psashest artsdril
linginme.
Hepul l
sonmyhai randi tal
lowshi m deep
penet
rat
ion.
"
Langa!I
'
m gonnacum!
"
"
Cum f
orme.
"
Iletital
lout.Het urnsmearoundputsbot hl
egson
hisshoul der
s.Heent er
sslowlyandyouknowt hat
deep" mmh"soundwhenheput sital
lin.We
mai ntai
neyecont actashethrust
sinme.Hi shi
tti
ng
alltheri
ghtspot sandIwon'tl
ast.Hest ar
tsmovi
ng
fasterandIst i
llhavemyhandst i
edandIwannado
somet hingwithmyhands.
"
Pleaseunt
ieme.
"
"
No.
",andheupshi
space.
Ineedt
ograbsomethi
ng.Iam bi
ti
ngmyl
ipssoI
don'
twakeuptheki
ds.
"
Langa.Mmmmh.
"
"
Youl
iket
hat
?"
"
Yes.Yes.
"
Hekeepsonhit
ti
ngmyg-spotoverandoveragai
n
andi
fIknewtheKhuzwayocl
ansI'dbeprai
sing
hi
mri
ghtnow.Icum r
eal
lyhar
d.
"
CanIt
akear
ide?
"
Hel ooksatmeandunt iesmesl owly.Hel aysdown
andIgetont opofhi m.Hehel psmei nserthim and
hef eelsbi ggeri nthi spositi
on.WhenI '
m
comf ortabl ewi thhi ssideIst artmovi ngbackand
forthandmovi ngmywai st
.HeatbyChr isBrown
playsi nmyheadandI '
m movi ngwi ththebeat .Up
down.Si deways.Fr onttoback.WhenI '
mr eally
feelingi tLangast ealsmyshi neandhol dmyhi ps
humpi ngf rom under neathme.Can' thebe
submi ssivef oraf ewmi nutes?Ican' tsayI '
m not
l
ovi ngt hewayhi smovi nghi swai stthou.Ther ei s
somet hingabouthi sstrokes.I'mt r
yingt okeepup
withhi m buthi sli
keaf astmi xtape.I'm holdingont o
hist highswi thmybackar chedandmyt i
tti
eskeep
onbumpi ng.Hegr absoneandpi nchesmyni ppl e
andt hati st heendofmecausi ngmet ocum.He
turnsusar oundandmakesmehol dmyt highst o
mychest .Hei nser tshimsel fandmoveshi swai stin
circularmot ion.Hest artswithhisf astpaceagai n
andt hisposi ti
oni sgi vi
ngmeal otofsexual
advantage.Ourgroi
nsar
erubbingandIam
scrat
chinghisback.Hei
skissi
ngmyneck.His
thr
ustsaredeepandhisstr
okesreal
lyf
ast.I
'
m
gonnacum.
"
Langa.
"
Hel
et'soutagrowlandIsqui
rt
.Aft
erwegetdown
f
rom ourcl
imaxhetakeshimsel
fout.Heki
ssesme.
"Iloveyou.
",
andheroll
sover
.Hetakesouta
cigaret
teandli
ghtsi
t.Myheadi
sonhi schest
.I
takethecigar
ett
eandsmoke.
"
CanIt
akeyouondat
etomor
row?Wi
tht
heki
ds?
"
"
Yes.I
'
dli
ket
hat
."
"Thankyouf
orbei
ngt
her
efort
hem whi
leIwasnt
around.
"
"
Khuzwayo.Howr
ichar
eyou?
"
"Li
keOwnjet
sandheli
copter
skindofr
ich.Don't
askmybankbal
ance.Iwearthatonmywr i
st.
"
Hetakesouthi
swatchandIhavenoi
deawhati
tis
butt
hosearediamondsIswear
.
"
Otherwi
seBi
llGat
es.Keepyourr
ichl
if
eawayf
rom
me."
"
Independentmami
."
Hespanksmybut tandki
ssesme.Iputoutt
he
ci
garet
teandwel ayi
neachother
sarms.We
movingfastIknowbutl
ovemakesonelose
bal
ance.
Irecei
vedacallfr
om areaderandshesentmedata.
Pleaseletyour
sel
fknownunderthi
spost.You'
re
appreci
ated.

13
UNYEZI
Iwokeupt oanempt ybed.Hi ssi dewasst i
llwarm
soIknewhej ustgotout .Isatupandt hebur ni
ng
betweenmyl egsandt hest i
ff
nessr emi ndedmeof
yesterday'
sactivi
ty.Istoodupgent l
yandwentt o
thebat hr
oom.If i
ll
edthet ubwhi lebrushingmy
teeth.Mybodyhadl ovebi t
esalloverandIsmi leda
l
ittl
e.AssoonasIsoakedmysel fasighescaped
mymout
h.
"
Mkami
!"
"
Bat
hroom!
"
Heleansont hedoor f
rameandf ol
dhisarms.Does
hehavetol ookthisenti
cing?Welookateachother
.
Nowor dssaid.Meswi mmi nginhi
soceaneyes.I
am notatradit
ionalpersonbutwhathesaid
yest
erdayaboutt hechosenoneandi t
sbeenonmy
mind.Maybei t
st hetr
uth.ThatsahugeMAYBE.
"
IloveyouKhuzwayo.
"
"
Iloveyou.Ador
eyou.Appr
eci
ateyou.MaGema.
"
"
Aret
heki
dsawake?
"
"
I'
llbedone.I
'
m sur
etheyhungr
y."
Ist
andupf
rom t
het
ub.
"
Wai
t.Ior
der
edpi
zza.
"
Il
ookathim.Maybehi
sjoki
ng.Il
aughandhi
s
ser
ious.
"
What
?Pi
zza?ForBr
eakf
ast
?Ki
llme!
"
Heshrugsandwal ksaway.Whoi nthewor l
dgi ves
ki
dspizzaforbreakfast
?Iwalkoutthetub.Thepai n
hassubsidedandIcant ol
eratei
t.Ihavethat"Ijust
gotbanged"glow.Idressupandgot othekitchen.
Thekidsquickl
yclosethepizzabox.
"
ItwasDad'
sidea.
",Langavoi
cesout
.
"Makesomenoodl
eswhi
leIf
ixy'
al
lsomet
hing.Di
d
Plut
oeat?
"
"
Ifedhi
m ma.
"
Iwal
kupt
othem andki
sst
hei
rfor
eheads.
"
Goodmor
ningki
ds.
"
"
Goodmor
ningmom.
"
"
Wher
eisyourf
ather
?"
"Het ookPlutoforawal k.Hisneverwalkedadog
before.Wet oldhim Nanadoesi tandhesaidandI
quote" ngekengihlul
wei nt
oencaneaswal ki
nga
dog(Iwon' tbedefeatedbysomet hingassmall
)"so
wel ethim be."
,Langafil
lsmein.
"
Yourf
atheri
sgonnagi
vemewhi
tehai
r.
"
Wel aughandIgetbr eakfastready.Imi sswork
honestly.Ihavetotal
ktoLangaaboutt hekids
vi
siti
ngmeonweekendscauseIl ovehavingthem
aroundbutI '
m notBil
lGatesdaught ersoIgotwor k.
Iam dishi ngupwhenLangawal ksin.Hisheaving
andsweat y.Didhegof orar unorwhat ?Hepour s
himselfsomewat erandgul psit.Plutofoll
owsaf t
er
him andheadsf orhiswaterbowl .
"
Andt
hen?
"
"It
ookPlutoforawal
kandendedupr
unnni
ngaf
ter
him.Neveragain!
"
Il
aughathim asheheadsfort
hebedr
oom.Pl
utoi
s
notevenonaleash.Hi
snevert
aki
ngPlut
oona
walkeveragai
n.
"
Breakf
ast
!"
Theboyscomer
unni
ngandt
aket
hei
rseat
s.
"
Guesst
hewal
kdi
dn'
tgowel
l.
",
Nat
hisays.
"
Heendeduprunni
ngaf t
erPlut
o.Whot
akesadog
f
orawalkwi
thoutaleash?"
"
Stopdi
scussi
ngme.
",hecut
sin.
"Butshamemyeniwami.St
ickt
oweari
ng
Brentwoodandl
eavet
hedogwal ki
ngt
oNana.
"
Heclickshistongueandsul ksandwedeadwi th
l
aught er
.Thisissobeaut
iful.ItwasmeandPl ut
o
butnowIhavet hi
ssmall
littl
ef ami
ly.Fami l
y?Let
menotgetaheadofmysel f .Wehavebr eakfast
makingf unofthedogwalker .

LANGALAKHELI
HLE
IthinkI'l
ladmiredogsandkeepi tli
ket hat
.I'
m not
wal ki
nganydogi nthi
sli
feti
meagai n.Iputthe
pizzaint hefr
idge.Guesswewon' tbeeat i
ngthat.
Theboysar eoutont hecouch.Stayingathome
borest hem.Acal lf
rom SeniorKhuzwayocomes
throughandIanswer .
"
Baba.
"
"
Ndodana.
"
"
Unj
ani
?(howar
eyou)
"
"
I'
m okay.Whenam Imeet
ingmydaught
er?
"
"
AhBaba.Wai
tunt
ilaf
ewmont
hspassby.
"
"
Sheworksatoneofmyl
awf
ir
msson.I
'
lli
ntr
oduce
mysel
f.
"
"
Babayoucan'
t-
"
Hedropst hecal
l.Thi
sol
dtimeri
sgivi
ngmea
headache.Atextcomesthr
oughfrom Thando.
"
CanIhavet
heboyssl
eepover
?Imi
sst
hem.
"
Heeh!Igettextsnow?No' heybigbrother'?Abo
Thandobayakhul ayazi.Unyeziisstandingbythe
windowinherr oom smoki ng.She'
sj ustinmyt-
shir
tandhert hickl
egsandt hi
ghslookcr eamy.
Lordherbooty!Andt hewayshebendwhenI '
m
hit
ti
ngitfr
om t heback!Itsli
keGodhol dsmyhand
andisli
ke"Don' tcr
ymyson. "ever
ytime.Iwalkupto
her.
"
Babe.
"
"
Mmmh.
"
"
Ngenzeni
?(whatdi
dIdo)
"
"
Not
hing.I
'
mjustt
hinki
ng.
"
"
About
?"
"
Ineedtogetbackt
owor
k.Cant
heki
dsvi
sitont
he
weekends?
"
"We'l
ltal
kaboutt
hat
.Mysi
sterwant
stoseet
he
boys."
"Whydoesitseem l
i
keyou'
reaski
ngf
ormy
consent
?"
"
CauseIam.
"
"
Whyi
sthat
?"
"
You'
ret
hei
rmot
her
."
Sheturnsaroundandputsoutt
hecigarett
e.She
needstostopsmokingbutIwon'
tvoicethatout
.
She'
llchewmyheadof f
.
"
That
'
s..
.Wow.Uh.
..Thankyou?
"
"
Unyezi
.Thankyouyani
?"
"
Thankyouf
ort
rust
ingmewi
thyourki
ds.
"
"
Sthandwasami
.It
rustyouwi
thmyl
if
e."
Shethr
owsherhandsaroundme.Herhugsar eso
warm.Sheisli
keateddybear.Arealhumanteddy
bear
.Thefuck?!Whatam Ievensayi
ng?Iinhal
eher
scent.Shesmellsofme.That'st
hemostperf
ect
scentshecaneverwear .Iki
ssherhead.West
ay
l
ikethatti
llshebreaksi
tup.
"Shecanf
etcht
hem.Wheni
sshebr
ingi
ngt
hem
back?"
"
Tomor
rowmaybe?
"
"
Okay.I
'
llpackt
hei
rcl
othes.
",shesaysyawni
ng.
Shemuststi
llbet
ir
edfr
om l
astni
ght
.Wesl eptl
ate
wit
hal
lthatheatwehadupi
nhereyest
erday.
"
Cat
chsomez'
s.I
'
llpack.
"
"
You'
resur
e?"
"
YesIam Mami
."
Shesmi lesandkissesme.Herkissesar eso
addicti
ve.Theyalwaysleavemewi t
hawhol ezoo
i
nsidemyst omach.Shepull
saway.Il ookather
andshel ooksback.Wehavi ngoneoft hoseintense
eyecont actmoment.Shehasbeaut i
fulbrowneyes
andt heylookbeauti
ful
.She'
sbeautif
ul.Ileadhert o
bedandt uckheri
n.Sheyawnsandhangsherhand
overthebed.Iwal koutt
ogopackt hisboyscl othes.
ItextThandot hel
ocat i
on.Theboysr oom l ooks
reall
ycl ean.Surpri
sing.WhenIopenI 'm sur pri
sed
theyboughtsomuchcl othesf rom home.Ist art
packingandIr eal
isehalfthesecl ot
hesar enew.
Mr Price?Khuzwayoboys?Mr Pri
ce?Ilookatal lt
he
tagsandmostoft hehoodi esar efr
om Mr Pri
ce.
Sincewhen?Thi shasUnyezial loverit.Mysi ster
willdefinit
elygetalongwithher .Shet hinks
purchasi ngexpensiveclothesonl i
nef orkidsi sa
wast e.Itsamant hingIdon' texpectwoment ogetit
.
Ipackt hei
rnewnor malclot hes.Nkosicomesi nasI
packhi sGuccihoodi ein.
"No.Putitback.Mom saidthosecl
othesaref or
specialoccasions.That
swhytheyont heotherside
ofthecloset.Youwanthertokil
lme?Shel ooks
real
lysoftbutt r
ustmeherbeati
ngsaint.
"
Hetakesi
tandf
oldsi
tni
cel
yandput
sitaway.I
s
t
hismyson?
"
Youcanf
oldnow?Wonder
sofUnyezi
!"
"
Guessal
lweneededwasher
."
"
Sitdownwi
thmeson.
"
Wesi
tont
hei
rbed.
"
Arewel
eavi
ngal
ready?
"
"
Notyet
.You'
regoi
ngt
oAunt
iThandospl
ace.
"
"
Ohokay.I
'
vemi
ssedher
.Ican'
tevencal
lher
."
"
Sli
ck.Youget
ti
ngaphoneonyourbi
rt
hday.
"
"
I'
llwai
t.
"
"
Doyousmoke?
"
Heshi
ft
sawayf
rom meabi
t.
"
Nodad.I
twasaonet
imet
hing.
"
"Lalel
ala.Ifyout hinksmokingmakesyoucoolt han
you'rewr ong.Ifyouf eelyouhavet osmoket of i
tin
thant hosef r
iendsar en'
treal.Youneedt oknow
yourpur poseki d.You'reasmar tboy.Don'truinthat
bybei ngaj unky.IsmokeyesbutIwor khardf ormy
money.Iwasbor nr i
chbutIknowwhati tsli
ke
goingt obedhungr y.Wehadt oughl ove.We
gratefulforittoo.Yourmkhul umaynotbet he
wor l
d'sgr eat
estdadbutt r
ustmewhenIsay
withouthi steachingsandpuni shment sI'
dpr obabl
y
woul dhavedi edat18ondr ugover doseatan
expensi
veapar
tmentcauseIwasaspoi
ltbr
at.
"
"
Igetyoudad.
"
"
Iloveyouson.
"
"
Iloveyout
oodad.
"
"
Whataboutme?
"
WemetbyLangast
andi
ngbyt
hedoor
.
"
Wel
oveyout
oo.
"
Hecomestowardsusandpull
susinf
orahug.Wai
t
t
il
lImarr
yUnyezi.We'
l
lbetoget
her
.Happy.
Hopef
ull
y.
14
UNYEZI
It
sbeenaf ewweekssinceI '
vebeenbackt owork.
Theboysdocomet ovisiteveryweekend.MrMaya
i
sgoi ngthroughadivorcesoI '
m deal
ingwitha
grumpyol dman.Hehascour ttodayandIam
dreadingwalkingi
nsidehisoffi
ce.Istandupand
standatthedoorforaf ewmi nutesbefor
eknocking.
"
Ngena!
(comei
n)"
Iwal
kinandhest
il
lkeepshi
sneatper
sona.
"
Youhavecour
tinanhoursi
r.
"
"
Okay.Youcanl
eave.
"
Istandthereforawhi
le.Di
dhejust
?NoIdoubthe
did.Ichuckl
eandhelooksupatme.
"
Humormet
ooUnyezi
."
"
Nodi
srespect
.Asi
mpl
ethankyouwon'
tki
llyou.
"
HelooksatmeandIst
areback.Idon'
tcarei
fheis
mysuperi
orri
ghtnowbutIdeser
veami nor'
thank
you'
.
"
ThankyouUnyezi
."
"
Mypl
easur
esi
r.
"
Iwalkoutandt akeadeepbr eatheasIexi this
off
ice.I'
vebeenlosi
ngmycoolal otlatel
y.I'
m sur
e
myper iodsareontheway.Ineedasmoke.Ihead
outsideandwhenIl i
ghtthecigaretteIjustendup
putti
ngi tout
.Idon'
tfeell
ikeitnomor e.Il
ighti
tup
again.Itakeafewpuf f
sbeforegoi ngbacki nsi
de.
"
Unyezi
."
Il
ookatthefemal
einf
ormalcl
othi
ng.Shewor
ks
her
e.It
hinkhernamei
sThembi.
"
Thembi
."
"
Mynamei
sThandi
."
"
Ohsor
ry.HowmayIhel
p?"
"I
tsokay.Youdon'
ttal
ktousei
therwaysoIgeti
tif
youdon'tknowmyname. "
I
fshe'
stryi
ngt
omakemef
eelbadt
hani
tsnot
wor
king.
"
Thandogett
alki
ngpl
ease.
"
"
Thandi
."
"
For
giveme.Ihaveat
hingwi
thnames.
"
"Anywaywehosti
ngapar
tyf
oruscol
leagues.
Fri
daynight
.Woul
dyouli
ket
ocome?"
"
I'
llbet
her
e."
Ismileandwal
kaway.I'
m notgoi
ngther
e.I
'
m not
l
ookingforf
ri
ends.Iwal
ktomystati
onandstar
t
working.
Iam disturbedbypeopl eleaving.It
sknockof ftime
alr
eady?If ini
shupwhent hatpai nonmysi dehits
meagai n.IstopwhatI 'm doingandsi tst
ill
.I'
ve
beenhavi ngitforafewweeksnowandI '
m st ar
ting
togetwor ri
ed.Istandupandpackup.Iwal ktomy
carwithmypr essedtomysi de.Igetinsi
demycar
andIletthet earsfal
l.Thisisreall
yirri
tat
ingand
painf
ul.IdrivetotheGar ageandbuywat er.Idrink
painkil
lerswi t
hsomewat eranddr ivehome.As
soonasIar ri
veatmyapar t
mentmyphoner i
ngs.
It
sLanga.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
"
MaGema.
"
"
Howar
eyou?
"
"
I'
m okayj
ustmi
ssi
ngyou.Andyou?
"
"
I'
m okay.
"
Iwantt
otel
lhi
m Ihaven'
tbeenokayl
atel
ybutI
don'
twantt
oworryhim.
"
LangasaysImustaskyoui
fyoucanat
tendhi
s
meet
ingatschool
."
"
Wheni
sit
?"
"
Fri
dayaf
terschool
."
Gr
eatexcuset
omi
sst
hatpar
tyatwor
k.
"
Okayst
handwasami
.Howi
sNat
hi?
"
"Hisokay.YouknowIl
ikei
twhenyoucal
lme
sthandwasami."
Il
ayonmybedpr
essi
ngmysi
de.
"
Ngempel
ast
handwasami
?(f
orr
ealmyl
ove)
"
"
Ngempel
amkami
."
"
IloveyouKhuzwayo.
"
"
Iloveyout
ooMaGema.
"
"
Ishof
uthi
(sayi
tagai
n)"
"
Ngyak'
thandaMaGema.
"
"
Letmesl
eepabi
t.
"
"
You'
reokay?
"
"
Justaheadache.
"
"
I'
llcheckonyoul
ater
."
"
Okay.
"
"
Bye.
"
"
Bye.
"
Wedropt
hecal
landIcl
osemyeyeswithmyhand
st
il
lonmysi
de.Thi
spai
nbett
erendsoon.

(
Iknowi
t'
sshor
tbutsomet
hingbef
orey'
al
lsl
eep.
)
15
UNYEZI
Theboysar ecomingoverf
ort
heweekend.Iam
cleani
ngaroundwhenIcutmyfinger.Assoonas
thebloodstar
tsoozi
ngIhaveaflashback.
"Pl
easel
etmego.Iwon'
ttel
lanyone.Justl
etme
go.
",
myvoicecomesouthoar
se.
Ichokeonmysobashegr
oansandspi
ll
shi
s
sperm onmyf
ace.
"
Yousl
ut!
"
Thebossyonecomest owar dsme.Hetakesouta
kni
feandkneelsinfr
ontofme.Iam scaredandmy
bodyhurts.Somebodyhelpme.Whyme?Youkeep
onfail
ingmeGod.Youdi ditagai
n.Youpromised
andletmedownagai n.
"Witht
hismar
k.Youbelongt
ome.Anymanyou
sleepwit
hwil
lseet
his.
"
Heholdsmyt highanddrawsanXonmyi nner
t
high.Thebloodoozes.Cri
msonredbloodstai
ning
whit
etil
es.Ifeelmysel
fsuccumbtodarkness.
"
Unyezi
?"
Il
ookupandit
sLangaandt
heboys.Hesendst
he
boysaway.
"
Areyouokay?
"
Ilookathi m.Howdoessuchaper f
ectspecimen
fallforsuchabr okensoul?Hehelpsmeupand
cleanst hebloodoffmyf i
nger.Ist
andt her
e
wat chinghim cl
eanupmybl ood.Anotherfl
ashback
fl
owsi n.
Ikneelt
her
escr
ubbi
ngt
hewhi
tet
il
esofmyr
oom i
n
theorphanage."
Makei tquickUnyezi
.Bef
oret
hey
see.
"Iscrubtil
ltheshinecomesback.HowIwi shI
canscrubmysoult il
litsascleanast
hatfl
oor
.
"
Youokay?Unyezi
?"
Ijustlookathi m.I'
m sur eheknows.I '
m surehe
getsdi sgust edwhenhel ooksatme.Iseehi m
approachi ngme.Don' ttouchme!Il etoutablood
curli
ngscr eam andhest andsback.FightitUnyezi
!
Fightit!Isi tdownwi thmychi nonmyknees.Fi ght
i
t!Fighti t!Ifeelhimt ouchmybackandi tarouses
me.It urnt olookathi m.Ipullhiminf orakiss.He
hesitatesbef orekissingmeback.Hepul lsaway
andIpul lhim backi n.Ineedyour i
ghtnow.That s
theonl ywayIcanf orget .Hestandsupwi thmei n
hisar ms.Hel eadsust omyr oom andput sme
downont hebed.
"
Yousur
e?Youdon'
tseem okay.
"
"
I'
m sur
e.Nof
orepl
ay.Ber
ough.
"
Hel ooksatmeandhest art
staki
ngoffhi
sclothes.I
takeoutminebefor
epullinghi
mi nf
orakiss.He
kissesmebackhungri
ly.Hishandsareal
loverme
andIj
ustwanthi
minsi
deme.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Henodsatmeandposi t
ionshi mselfatmy
entrancebef oreheslamsi ntomemaki ngmear ch
mybackandhol dhimtighter.Het r
ieski ssingme
butIduckandheendsupki ssingmyneck.He
startsbeingr eall
yroughwhenheseesI 'mr ejecti
ng
hisaf f
ection.ThisiswhatIwant ed.Iam t ryingmy
bestt okeepi tdown.Hekeepsondr i
ll
ingi ntome
andmaki ngsur ehegoesdeep.Hebi tesmyneck
andt hepai nsendsmeovert heedge.Webot hcum
andhecol lapsesbesideme.Heusedal lhisener gy.
Iknowi tssel fi
shofmebuthesai dhecoul dhandl e
myaddi cti
on.Myaddi ctionhasaf l
aw.WhenIcan' t
handl emypast .Iam notlookingforamakel ove
session.Iwantyout oram i nt
ome.Makemef eel
pain.Iclosemyeyesandl etmyhandhangovert he
bedandasal waysthedemonundermybedgr abs
i
t.Iletthedar knesstakeme.I '
llwakeupbet t
er.
16
UNYEZI
Iwakeupt osomeonelookingatme.Iopenmy
eyesandI 'm metbyLanga.Isi
tupandt heburn
betweenmyt hi
ghsmakesmegr oan.Hisj
ustsit
ti
ng
ther
el ooki
ngatme.Hewant stosaysomethingI
cant el
l.Guesshewon'ttal
ksoIst andupandhead
forthebathroom.
"
Unyezi
."
,hi
svoi
cesoundsdi
ff
erent
.
Ihal
tinmyst
epsbutdon'
ttur
nback.
"
Lookatme.
"
It
urnaroundsl
owl
y.Hi
snowst
andi
ngupand
walki
ngtowar
dsme.
"
Doyoul
oveme?
"
"
Yes.
"
"
Doyout
rustme?
"
Wher
eist
hisgoi
ng?
"
Yes.
"
"Youdon'tkeepsecret
sfr om someoneyouloveand
trust
.Whathappened...I
'veneverseenyouliket
hat
.
Your ej
ectedmyaffecti
on.Youwer ehurt
ingIsaw
t
hatbutt
hatshoul
dn'
tbeanexcuset
ohur
tot
her
s."
Il
ookdownguilty.Ican'
thel
pit
.Itj
usthappensand
Ican'
tcont
roli
t.
"Whycan'tyoutrustme?Notonl
ywi
thyourbody
butyourheartandsoul.
"
Hest andsi
nfrontofmewit
hhishandsf
olded.Hi
s
givi
ngmeani ntensel
ookandIcan'
tmai
ntaineye
contact.
"
Lookmei
ntheeye.
"
Il
ookathi
m.Themooni
sst
il
lther
eandt
heocean.
"You'
retr
oubl
ed.Yourhear
tisatwar.Whydoyou
keepfi
ghti
ngit
?Yourshipshavesunk.Yourcapi
tal
i
sdying.Makeanalli
ancewit
hme.Letmehel pyou
fi
ghti
t."
It
ryhol
dinghi
m buthemovesback.
"WhenItr
iedt
ocomf ortandyouscreamed.You
scar
edme.IthoughtI'
vedonesomet hi
ngunti
lI
l
ookedint
oyoureyes.Youreyeslookeddead.
"
It
rymovi
ngt
owar
dshi
m buthemovesback.
"
Khuzwayo.Hol
dme.
"
"NoMaGema.Igaveyouever yinchofme.Itr
usted
youwi t
hmyki ds.Youfailt
ogi vemeyourheart.
Youf ai
ltot
rustmewi t
hyoursoul .SoIwon'
thol
d
you.YouneedwhatIgi veyour i
ght?Theonl
yti
me
I'
llhol
dyouiswhenyoudeci det ousemybodyfor
yourownaddi ct
ionagain."
"
Langa.
"
"
I'
llor
dersupper
.It
oldt
heki
dsyouwer
en'
twel
l
."
Hewal ksoutandIst andt here.Hiswor dsplayi
ngin
mymi ndl ikeabr okent ape.Overandoveragai n.I
walkintot heshowerandt hewat eriscold.Isit
underthewat erandcr y.Iwi shitwaseasy.Iwi shI
couldjustpourmyhear toutandl ethiminbutI '
m
soscar edofmypast .Ifeelhandsl if
tmeupand
takemeoutundert hecoldwat er.I'
m shiveri
ngand
Iam goi ngtocatchacol d.Langasi t
smeont he
bedandhesmear sVasel i
neonme.Hedr essesme
i
nhi shoodi eandswagpant sandhehai rdrysmy
hair
.Hest ar
tsdoi ngcor nrowsandIj ustsitt
here.
Hef i
nisheshi scor nrowsandheput sahatonme.
"
Let
'sgetyouwar
m."
Het ucksmei nandhekissesmyforehead.Ihaven'
t
fel
tlikethi
sforsolong.I
tsbeenayear.It
akemy
phoneassoonashewal ksout.Il
ookforher
number s.'
DrSambo'.Ical
lhernumberandi tr
ings
beforesheanswers.
"
DrSandr
aSambo.
"
"
UhheyDoc.I
tsUnyezi
."
"
Unyezi
?Thel
astt
imeyoucal
ledwast
ocancel
t
her
apy."
"Ineedhelp.Pl
easesendt
hatSexAddi
ctGr
oup
address.
"
"
Real
ly?
"
"
Yes.It
hinkI
'
mready.
"
"
Youmetsomeonedi
dn'
tyou?
"
"
Theaddr
essSandr
a."
"
Okay.I
'
llsendi
tthr
oughemai
l.
"
"
Thankyou.
"
"
Bye.
"
Idropthecal
landopenmyf rontcamer aandtake
outthebeani
e.Hiscornrowsar eneat.Iwonder
wherehelearntt
odot hat.Ican'
tevendocor nrows
myself.Hewalksinandhehasat raywithabowl .
LordI'
m gonnadie.Whatishebr i
nging?
"
Ican'
tcookbutIknowhowt
omakenoodl
esoup.
Her
e."
Isni
ffandhehandsmeat
issue.Ihavear
unny
nose.Ibl
owmynose.
"
Openup.
"
Iopenmymout handhefeedsme.Iam goingto
thatgroupf
orhi
m andthoset
woki dsint
heli
ving
room butmost
lyme.Hekeepsfeedingmetil
lI'
m
full
.Hehandsmepill
sandIdri
nkup.
"Getsomesl
eep.Wepl
ayi
ngvi
deogames.Shouti
f
youneedme."
Hewalksoutandasal
waysIletmyhandhangover
t
hebedandt hedemonundermybedgrabsi
tandI
f
allasl
eep.
17
UNYEZI
Isitupinthemorningandtheheavyfeeli
nginmy
heartisst
il
lther
e.IlookatLangaandhisstil
l
sleepi
ng.Ienvyhislongeyel
ashes.Thouhehas
reall
ythi
ckeyebrowsbutIhavet oadmitmineare
thickandbushywellIam ahairybei
ng.Helickshi
s
l
ipsandhi seyesfal
teropen.
"
You'
reokay?
"
"
Yes.Canwegooutt
oday?Thebeachmaybe?
"
Hesit
supstrai
ghtandtheblanket
sfallof
fti
llhi
s
tor
soexposi
nghisupperbodycausingmet olook
away.
"
Yeah.I
'
llt
ellt
heki
ds.
"
"
No.Iwi
ll
.Ihaven'
tseent
hem si
ncet
heyar
ri
ved.
"
Il
ookathi
m andhi
slooki
ngatme.Hel
ookspai
ned.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"
Youpal
e.Youreyesar
epuf
fy.Damnmami
."
"
Damnmami
?Whot
aughtyout
hat
?"
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
"
Uthandai
zint
o!(
Youl
iket
hings.
)"
"
Damnmami
!"
Ichuckleandhesmil
es.Hi
sgotthedeepest
dimplesandthemostcut
estsmil
e.Hisgotsmal
l
l
azyeyesandwhenhesmi lest
heylooksmall
er.
"
You'
rest
ari
ng.
"
"
You'
reper
fect
."
,Isayabsentmi
nded.
Di
dhej
ustbl
ush?
"
Didyou-
?Langa!
",Isayl
aughi
ng.
"
He.
emahnUnyezi
."
Hest
andsupandhur
ri
est
othebat
hroom.
"
Khuzwayo!
"
Hecl
osest
hedoorandIchuckl
e.Thatwassocut
e.
Hi
sphoner
ings.
"
Langayourphone!
"
"
Answeri
t.
"
I
tsanunknownnumber
.
"
Langal
akheki
hleKhuzwayosphone.
"
Damnhehasonelongassname.Ir
anoutof
br
eat
hesayi
ngit
.
"
Langa.
",
it
saf
emal
e.
"
Hisnotavai
labl
eri
ghtnow.Woul
dyoumi
nd
l
eavi
ngamessage?"
"
Whoar
eyou?
"
"
Unyezi
."
"
Unye-what
?",
hert
onei
sunappr
eci
atedt
hissi
de.
"Ma'
am.Doyouhaveanymessageyou'
dli
kemet
o
passon?
"
"Tel
lLangathatIknowwhathedi
dtomysi
ster
.Tel
l
him Nt
okozoMayezacall
ed."
Shedropst
hecallandIshrugmyshoulder
splacing
i
tdown.Idothebedandhaveasmokewai tingon
Langa.Hewalksoutwi
that owelar
oundhi
swai st.I
l
ookawayashewal kscloser.
"
Whowasi
t?"
"
NtokozoMayeza.Shesai
dtot
ellyousheknows
whatyoudi
dtohersi
ster
."
Fearpasseshi
seyesbef
orehecover
situpver
y
qui
ckly.
"Oh.Wewon'tbegoinggothebeach.I
'
llcal
l
Sbhamuin.Ihavesomethi
ngtodealwith.
"
"
Whati
sthat
?"
"
We'
l
ltal
kwhenIgetback.
"
Ileavehimthereandgotakeashower.Hewal
ksin
l
at erdr
essed.Iwal
koutoftheshowerandt
akeout
theshowercap.
"
I'
llbeoutf
ort
heday.I
'
llcal
lyou.
"
Heki
ssesmeandhepecksmyf
orehead.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Hekissesmeonel
astt
imeandwalksoutfast.I
havemyownshitt
odealwi
thsoIgetdressed.The
boysarewat
chi
ngTV.
"
Goodmor
ning.
"
"
Mama.
"
Langarunst
owardsmeandIli
fthi
sheavyassup.
Hegivesmeakissandhehugsme.Imissedthi
s
l
it
tlef
ell
ow.Iputhi
m down.
"
Heyma.
"
Nkosi
nat
hihugsmeandhol
dson.
"
You'
reokaynowmama?
"
"
Yes.Mommyhadsomef
lu.
"
"
We'
rehungr
y."
"
Sof
tpor
ri
dge?
"
"
Yespl
ease.
"
Ileavethem wi
tht
heirTVandgot ot
hekitchen.I
l
istentomusiconmyphone.I st
hereanyonewho
i
sn'thealedbymusic?SpeakbyJheneAikocomes
onandIsi ngal
ong.
"
Im movi
ngon.
I
'
m put
ti
ngonmyf
avour
it
edr
ess
Theoneyouhat
ed
sai
dIl
ookednakedi
n
Fuckyouropi
nionabouti
t
I
'
mfeel
ingbestIwonthi
dei
t.
"
Ipassthemi rr
orinthehal lwayandInot icehow
paleIam.Ismi leali
ttl
ef or30secondst il
lmybr ai
n
getsthemessageandmyhypot hal amussends
posit
iveemot i
onsthroughoutmybody.Ihearcar s
parki
ngi nf r
ontofmyapar t
ment .Iopent hedoor
anditstwoSUVsandSbhamuandhi smenwal k
outandIwaveandt heynod.Iwal kbackinsideand
checkont hepotsandki ds.Icheckmyemai l
sand
Sandrasentt headdr essandevensentt heirphone
number .Idecidetocal litanditringsforawhi l
e
befor
eaf emaleanswer s.
"
SexAddi
cti
onGr
oup.Hel
lo.
"
"
Hey.Iwantt
ost
artat
tendi
ngt
hegr
oupmeet
ings.
"
"Okayma'am.Weareopenonweekdays.Youcan
signinasamemberaft
eronemeeti
ngwi t
hthe
group.Fr
om 18pm-
20pm."
"
Thankyou.
"
Idr
opthecal
landItur
nofft
hestoveanddi
shup.I
l
eavet
hebowlsther
etocoolof
f.
"SoLangawhati
sthi
smeet
ingaboutt
hatI
'
llbe
att
endi
ng?"
"I
'
m enteri
ngapoetrycompetit
ion.Soourt
eacher
wantstotalkt
oourparentsaboutit
.Sheshoul
d've
sentl
etter
sbutpr
ivateschool
sandunnecessary
meeti
ngs."
"
Okay.I'
l
lbet
her
e.Iwantt
omeetmydaught
eri
n
l
awfuthi
."
"
Shesti
lli
sbeati
ngaroundt
hebush.It
oldherl
ast
weekt
hatIloveher
."
"
Loveher
?",
Iaskhi
ssmi
li
ngsel
f.
"Yes.IaskedDadi fhelovesyouandhesai dyes.I
askedhim howdoesi tfeel l
ovingyouandIquot e
"WhenIseeheraf terabaddayIi mmedi at
elyfi
nda
reasontobehappy.Shegi vesmeawhol ezooi n
myst omach.Whenshesmi lessomethingtugsat
myhear t.She'
sallIcanstareat .Al
lday.Everyday.I
don'tmind."andhesaidawhol elot
."
Ismil
eandIfeelabi
temot
ional
.That
sthemost
sweet
estt
hingI'
vehear
dsomeonesayaboutme.
"
Ist
hathowyouf
eel
aboutSamant
ha?
"
Yes.Mydaught
erinl
awiswhi t
e.She'
sal
lLanga
tel
lsmeaboutwhenIcal
lthem.
"Yesmommy.She'ssobeaut
if
ul.It
hinkshe'
san
angel
.You'
reanangelt
oomommy. "
Cut
e.Ismi
leandki
sshi
sfor
ehead.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
"
Mom don'
t.
"
"
Comeon.Anygi
rl
?"
"
No/
Yes.
",
theybot
hsay.
Nat
higi
vesLangaadeat
hst
are.
"
Ahsot
her
eis.Tel
lme.I
sshebeaut
if
ul?
"
"
Moooom.Thef
oodi
sget
ti
ngcol
d."
Heget
supandwal
ksoutonus.MeandLanga
l
augh.
"
Comel
et'
sgoeat
."
,Isaygr
abbi
ngLangashand.
Wewal ktothekitchenhandi nhand.Weseaton
thebarstool
sandgr abourbowl s.We'retheonly
onesthateatsoftpor r
idge.Langalakhel
ihlei
sa
'
meatisimportantf ormybody. 'wellIguessthat
s
j
usttheMANi nhi mt alki
ng.
"
Doyouwantabi
rt
hdaypar
tNat
hi?
"
"
Yes.Somet
hingsmal
lthou.Fewf
ri
endsandt
he
f
amily.
"
"
Yourgi
rl
fr
iendwi
llcomet
oo?
"
"
Mom.
"
"
Okayokay.I
'
llf
oundoutwhoshei
sthou.
"
"
OhGod.I
fit
snotdadi
tsyoumom.
"
"I
'
m sur
eyourf
atherknowsheral
ready.Hi
ssl
ythat
one.
"
"
Ibeggedhi
m nott
osear
chf
orher
."
Wecar
ryont
alki
ngwhi
leeat
ing.
"
Yourphonemama.
"
Langapassesi
toveranditsLanga.Ineverchanged
hi
scontactname.I
tssti
ll"
MyeniWam"
nanamhl
anj
e.
"
Sthandwasami
."
"
Yousoundhappy.
"
"
Iam.LangaandNkosi
nat
hihavemei
nfi
ts.
"
Hechuckl
esbefor
ehetal
kstosomeoneont
he
ot
hersi
de.It
sverynoi
sywhereverhei
s.
"
Wher
ear
eyou?
"
"
I'
m or
der
ingusl
unch.
"
"
Okay.You'
vedeal
twi
thever
ythi
ng?
"
Iemphasi
zeont hedealtpart
.Icouldtel
lbyhistone
andbyhisbodyposturethathistypeof'
deali
ng'
wasadiff
erentbutIdon'twannaknowsomet hing
thatmaytai
nttheli
tt
lebiti
finnocenceIhaveleft
.
"
Yes.I
'
llbehomei
naf
ew.Weneedt
otal
k."
Weneedt otalk?Doesheknowhowt hosewor ds
cangiveoneanxiety.I
fhewantstotakeabr eak
fr
om usthanbehasanot hert
hingcomi ng.HisallI
gotsoheain'tgoi
ngnowhere.ManIsoundl i
kea
psychori
ghtnow.Maybehewant st
ot ellmewhat
hewasdeal
ingwith.Idontevenwantt
oknow.
Maybehewantsto..
.Arghletmestopt
hinki
ngt
oo
muchint
othis.
"
Unyezi
?"
"
Uh.
..Yes.
"
"Don'
twor
ry.I
tsnot
hing.I
'
llseeyouwhenIget
back.
"
"
Okay.
"
Idropthecall
.Whattodo?West uckindoors
ei
therway.Nathii
swashingthedishes.Heknows
wehaveadi shwasherbutthat
sforwhent hedi
shes
arealot.
"
Langa?
"
"
Mama.
"
Ifoll
owhi svoiceandhi sinPluto'
sroom.They
playingandPlut oisbarki
nghappily.Ij
ointhem and
wear epl
ayi
ngf etchindoors.Hisroom pr
ovides
enoughspace.Wekeept hrowingball
sandhe
fetchesthem ti
llwealltir
ed.Weal ll
ayonthef l
oor.
Nkosi nat
hipeepsi nandlaughs.
"
Real
ly?Andy'
al
ldi
dn'
tinvi
teme?
"
"Nextt
imebuddy.
",Isayheavi
ng.ManI
'
m get
ti
ng
old.
"
Let
'sgo.
"
MeandLangast
andup.
"
Let
'sgoPl
uto.
"
Hejustlooksatuswithhist
ongueout.Hisnot
gett
ingupf r
om thatf
loor
.Wewalkoutofhisroom
andIneedt ogetahousewithabigoutsi
despace
forPlut
otoplay.
"
Wher
e'smyphone?
"
"
Ont
hecouch.
"
It
akei
tandopent
hecamer
a.
"
Sel
fi
e?"
Theyallcomeandsi tnexttome.Wet akepictur
es
andevengol i
veoninst a.Myfol
lower
sl ovethekids.
TheyloveLangascut enessandhisbl
abber mouth
andthegirl
sloveNkosi nat
hismascul
inityandhis
femi
ninelooks.Khuzwayowal ksinaswegoogl e
hi
scl
annames.Weal
lst
andupandpr
aisehi
m.
"Khuzwayo.Gumede.Qwabe.MguniKaYeyeye.
Khondlo.
",wegetst
uckandIstar
tulul
ati
ngandt he
boysstar
tdancingandt
heyarenail
ingtheZulu
dance.
Langaislookingatusandsmi l
ing.Heputsthetake
awaysdownandmakehi m standi nfr
ontofthe
camera.Hest ar
tsdancingwitht heboysandweal l
dance.Weal lst
oplaughing.Heki ssesme.
"
Iloveyou.I
'
m happyt
oseeyousmi
li
ngagai
n."
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Ihughi
mti
ght
.
"
Okay.Wear
eher
etoo.
",Langabur
stsourbubbl
e.
Hetakesmyphoneandst opsrecordi
ngt hevideo.
Langasitsusdownandshowsust hevideo.Ilook
atmyselfandIhavetoadmi tI'
m happy.Ilookat
Langaandt heki
ds.Thesethreemenmakeme
happy.
"
Iboughtl
unch.
"
Weal
lst
andupandgot
otheki
tchenandt
heki
ds
gofil
lPlut
o'sbowls.WhenIopent hefi
rstt
akeaway
i
tspap.Iopent hesecondoneandi tt
ri
be.Sohe
boughtustribe?Iopenthethi
rdoneandi t
ssti
ll
tr
ibe.Somucht ri
be?Itsnotli
keImind.
"
Wher
edi
dyoubuyi
t?"
"
Thi
sot
herpl
acei
neMl
azi
."
Itakeapi
eceandputi
tinmymout
h.Myt
ast
ebuds
danceandImoanalit
tl
e.
"Youeat
ingchi
ll
iwi
thmeoryoueat
ingwi
tht
he
kids?
"
"
I'
m goi
ngchi
ll
i.
"
Iopent
hecupboar
dtot
akeoutpl
atesbuthest
ops
me.
"Usu?Epl
ati
ni?You'
reasomoder
n.(
tri
be?Ona
plat
e?)
"
Het akesthet akeawaysandheadst ot hekit
chen.I
takeoutjuicef orusandhiscastl
el i
te.Isi
tdownon
thematt ooliket her
est.Langapraysf ort
hef ood
andhi sthefi
r stonetograbapiece.
"
Imi
ssedt
his.
",
Langasays.
"
Iknow.
",
Khuzwayoanswer
s.
"
Sot
hisi
saf
requentt
hing?
",Iask.
"I
tsourli
tt
lef
ami l
ytradi
ti
on.Weusual
lydoi
twi
th
auntyanduncles.
",
Nathienl
ight
ensme.
"
Ihaven'
tmetyouraunt
y."
"Shecomesdownforourbir
thdays.She'
l
lpr
obabl
y
behereformypar
ty.
",Nat
hisays.
"
Whatt
hemeshoul
dwegof
or?
"
"
Blackandsi
lver
."
"
Younevergowr
ongwi
thbl
ack.
",Iagr
ee.
"
Sowillyoui
nvi
teAmahl
e?"
,Khuzwayosays
l
aughi
ng.
"
Amahl
e?"
,Iam conf
used.
"That
'
syourson'sgi
rl
fr
iend.
",
Langasaysj
oini
nghi
s
dadinlaught
er.
"
Sohernamei
sAmahl
e?I
'
m sur
emuhl
e."
"Ohyesshei
s.Mysonchosewel
l
.",
Khuzwayo
gloat
s.
"Ican'
twaittoseeher
.We'l
lhaveherMr
sPar
ty
chairr
ightnextt
oyours.
"
"
Mom.Dadyouseeyouract
ions?
",Nat
hiwhi
nes.
"
Ican'
twai
t!
",Isaycl
appi
ngmyhands.
Wegetbackt oeati
ngtal
kingher
eandther
e.Ihave
totellKhuzwayoabouttheSexAddi
ctGroupI'
ll
startatt
ending.I
'
m goi
ngt otr
yandabst
ainfornow.
18
LANGALAKHELI
HLE
Iam drivi
ngtoUnyezisplacetof et
chher .Shei s
attendi
ngoneofherSexAddi ct
ionMeet ingsand
sheaskedmet oaccompanyher .Whenshet oldme
aboutitIwon'tl
ieIwashappy.Iwasj usthappyt hat
shei sf
inal
lygett
inghel
p.Idon'tknowanyt hing
aboutthisgroupbutshe'sbeencal l
ingmeaf ter
thesemeet i
ngsandshesaysshel ikesthem and
l
ikeshownoonej udgesher.I'
m also'abstaining'
withher.It
saFr i
dayandshel eftforworkear lyand
wehaveaboutt wohour sbeforehernextmeetup
soIwanthert osleepoverfortheweekendatmy
placeandIneedt oconvinceher.Iparkmycarand
walkoutandIknockbefor
eenter
ing.She'
ssmoki
ng
weedbythesmellofitandPl
utocomesandjumps
onme.
"
HeyBuddy.
"
Helicksmyf acebef
orerunningoff.Iwalkint
oher
room andshe'ssmokinginjustherg-st
ri
ng.I
haven'thadsomeintwoweekssi nceshest art
ed
hermeetupsandIhavebeenbeat ingmyownmeat
butwiththatboot
ylooki
ngl i
kethatI'
mt r
yingso
hardtonotseduceherrightnow.
"
MaGema.
"
Shesmilesatmeandof fersmeherjoi
ntwhichI
accept
.Hereyesar er
edandsmal landshecan'
t
stopsmili
ng.Iwonderhowmanyoft hesedidshe
smoke.Shegott hest
rongestweedandIsteal
someofherj oi
ntssometimes.
"
Uri
ght
?(you'
reokay)
"
Shenodsandshesmi
leswi
dert
hist
ime.
"
You'
rer
eal
lyhi
ghar
en'
tyou?
"
"
Youhavenoi
dea.
"
"
Howar
eyougoi
ngt
opar
ti
cipat
ewi
tht
hegr
oup?
"
"Ist
il
lhavet
wohour
stocal
m down.Youar
eher
e
earl
y."
"
IknowIwant
edt
otal
ktoyou.
"
"
Tal
k?Okay.
"
Isi
tnextt
oherandsheclimbsontopofmeandI
sur
pressmygroan.Shecan'
tdothi
stomer i
ght
nowcauseIdon'
tknowhowl ongIcanhol
don.
"
I.
..Iwant
edt
oaskyout
osl
eepovert
hisweekend.
"
"
Atyourpl
ace?
"
Inodandcl earmyt hroat.Sheisgoi
ngtoki l
lme.
Herbreastsar eal
luponmyf aceandI'm keepi
ng
myselfbyf r
equentlyli
ckingmyl i
psfr
om sucking
them.IinventedsexbyUshercomesonandIf eel
hermoveherwai sttothebeat.BoKhuzwayohelpa
sonouther e.
"Ihaveneverbeent
oyouractualpl
aceandIwantt
o
seehowl ar
geyourgardeni
sandmaybewecan
haveNkosinathi
sbi
rthdayt
here.
"
"
Yeahi
tsbi
genough.
"
"
Iknowi
tsbi
genough.
",shesaysseduct
ivel
y.
Shemakesmedownandki ssesme.Iam goi ngto
cum byherj ustdryhumpingmeal one.Shei s
trai
li
ngki ssesdownmyneckandshehel psmeout
myT- shirt.Itr
yturningusoverbutsher etali
ates
andIl etherhavehermoment .Shetrail
ski sses
downmychestandshet racesherhandsonmy
downt omypant sandrubsonme.It rygr abbing
herhandbutshej usti
nsert
siti
nsidemypant sand
takesmyal readyharddickinhersoftsmal lhand
andr ubsi tupanddown.
"
Unyezi
."
Sheshushesmeandpul l
smyt rackpantsdown
andgrabsmydi ckwit
hbothherhandsandshe
breat
hesonit.Iam br
eat
hingreal
lyheavi
lyandmy
bodyshootsupwhenshel i
ckstheti
p.
"
Dammi
t!
"
Sheputsmeinandmyhandgoesst rai
ghttoher
hai
randgri
psit
.Hermouthfeelssowarm around
mydickandIki
ckoffmyshoes.Herotherhand
pl
ayswithmyball
sandI'
m praying"
Goddon' tl
et
mebustqui
ck.
".
"
Unyezi
.Shi
t!
"
Shedeepthr
oatsmeandIsitup.Sheci
rcl
esher
tonguear
oundandusesherhandtogoupand
downandhermouthfol
lowsit
.
"Ifyouagreetoletmeri
deyouwi t
hnoi nter
rupti
ons
thanIwon' tmakeyoucum r
ightaway.",shesays
l
ooki ngupatmeasherhandst il
lmovesupand
down.Ishakemyheadandshedeept hroatsme
againandsqueezesmybal l
sgently.
"
Fuck!Okay!Okay!
"
Shesmilesandr emovesherunder wearandIki ck
mypantsof f.Shecl i
mbsont opofmeand
bal
ancesherhandsonmychest .Ihel
phergeti ti
n
andshewi ncesabi t
.Mant hewayshef eelsaround
mydickmakesmet ear
y.Shest artsmovingupand
downandIt hinkt hesongpl ayi
ngi sPussyFai ryby
JheneAikoanddon' taskmehowIknowt hat.She
goesbackandf orthandshehasherheadf acingup
wit
hhereyescl osedwi thhermout hopenandI
spankherassandshei ncr
easesherpace.Iam
groaningandthefactthatI
'm hol
dingmyselffr
om
turni
ngusoverismaki ngmef eell
ikeI'
m onedge.
Sheclenchesherwal l
saroundmeasshecumsand
thatcausesmet ogroanandIcum af t
erher.Thi
sis
whyIhat ethi
sposit
ion.
"
ManImi
ssedt
hat
."
,shesayst
aki
ngmeout
.
"
Wer
en'
tweabst
aini
ng?
"
"WewerebutIneededatl
eastoner
oundt
hat
swhy
Imadeyoucum quick.
"
"
Mademecum qui
ck?
"
"
Iknowaf ewt
hingsaboutt
hehumanbody.Damn
mybreat
hesmellsl
ikedi
ck.
"
Webot hlaughandshest andsuptogowi pehersel
f
andsurelybrushherteet
h.Igetdr
essedupandI
l
ookatt heti
me.West il
lhavesometimel ef
t.I
'
m
hungrysoIheadt othekit
chenandshehadcooked
soIdishupandeat .Shecomesoutdr essedupand
putsherhandsonherwai st.
"
Youshoul
d'
vedi
shedupf
ormet
oo.
"
"
Sor
ry?
"
Shedragshertonguethroughherteet
handdishes
upforher
self
.She'sgainedalotofweightandher
bootyl
ooksli
keameal .
"
Stopst
ati
ngatmybut
t.
"
Shet
urnsar
oundgi
vesmest
inkeyeandIsmi
le.
"
Eatupsowedon'
trunl
ate.
"
Shenodsandsi
tsnexttome.Weeatsi
lent
lyand
shepour
smeagl assofwat
er.
"
Let
'sgo!
"
Shet akesmyhandi nher sandsmi lesatme.She' s
beenver yaffecti
onatelatel
y.Sheevencal lsme
whenshef eelsdownandl et'
smehol dher.Ican
seeagr eatchangesi ncehermeet ingswi tht hatSex
Addi ct
ionGr oupst art
ed.Iopent hedoorf orherand
j
umpi ntoghsdr i
versseatbef oredr ivi
ngof f.She
hasherhandonmyt highandIkeepst eali
ng
glancesather .She'sreal
lybeaut if
ul.Shei sver y
hairy.Herf aceishai r
yandshehasal itt
le
moust achewhi chIfindcut e.I'
m sti
lllookingf orher
fami l
yandwemi ghthaveat race.
"
Iloveyou.
"
Il
ookatherandshe'
ssmi
li
ng.
"
Iloveyout
ooMaGema.
"
Shesqueezesmyt highandl ooksoutsideher
windowagain.Ist
ill
havet otellheraboutme
searchi
ngforherfami l
y.Ineedherasmywi f
e.I
needherbymysi def orever.She'smypeace.The
onlyswimmerinmyl onel yocean.
19
UNYEZI
"Iwaskidnppaedfor11yearsbymyf ather.Hekept
mei nthebasementandever yonedeemedme
missing.Hehadturnedmei ntohisslut
.I'dfal
l
pregnantandhe'dgivemeabor ti
onpill
s.Itwasthe
mostpai nf
ulpai
nI'veeverf
elt.I
'vehad5abor ti
ons
alr
eady."
Shecr
iesandhermotherholdsherhandwithtear
s
i
nhereyesandIenvythatbutIhaveLanga.She
cal
msdownandcont i
nues.
"
Ihadt
oomanyunpr
ofessi
onalabor
ti
onst
hatIhad
aninf ectionandIt houghtIwasdyi ng.I'dl
ayt here
atnightandI '
dhearmymot herprayIcameback.I
want edt oscr eam andl etherknowIwasunderher
ki
tchenf l
oor .Whenhecameasusualwhen. mom
wasouthef oundmel ayingsi l
ence.Ihadl ost
consci ousness.Hecal l
edanambul anceinpani c.
Themostst upidestmovebutsmar tmove.Iwoke
upi nhospi taland. .
.Mymot herwast herewitha
detective.Myf athernextt othem lookingatme.I
blabbed.It oldthem ever yt
hingishi spresence.He
wasar restedbutt hef earinmef ol
lowedmear ound.
Ihadl ostt heabi li
tytoproduce.Ir esortedtocr ack
andIsl eptwi tholdmen.Iwasanaddi ctofsexand
drugs.Mom neverst oppedpr aying.Ialmostdi ed
causeIwasoncr ackover dose.IknewIhadt oseek
help.Spentayeari nr ehabbef orecomi nghere. "
Thegr oupissil
entabitwithever
yoneholdi
ngback
thei
rtears.IboughtLangaovertodaycauseIwas
toopenupt hedeepestofsecr
etsofmyself
.
"
ThankyouSer
ena.Unyezi
."
Il
ookedatthewomani nchar
geoft
hisandIlooked
atLanga.Henoddedatmeandatearfel
lfr
om my
eye.
"Iam UnyeziSosi
boasyoual
lknow.Il
ivedi
nan
orphanage.I-
"
Il
ookatLangaandhesqueezesmyhand.
"Thefir
sttimeithappenedIwas18.Theywer e3
boysallofthem livedintheor phanage.Istil
l
remembert heirnamest il
ltoday.Sthembi sowas
theleaderthefir
stonet otaintmyi nnocence.I'
ve
nevercriedsomuchi nmyl ife.Esethuheldmy
mout hshut.Vuyowast helastoneandwhenhe
wasdonehespi ll
edhissper m onmyf aceand
call
edmeasl ut.Whent heywer ealldoneSt he
walkedtowardsmewi thapocketkni f
ehecar ri
ed
aroundandmadeanexonmyi nnerthigh.Thei
r
wassomuchbl ood."
IchokeonmysobandLangapul
lsmeclosert
ohi
m.
Hisgri
pisf
ir
m ar
oundmeandhisjawkeepson
moving.
"Istoodupandcl eanedt heblood.Iscrubbedtil
lthe
ti
lewascl ean.Iwouldscr ubmyselfti
llIbledbutI
sti
lldidn'
tfeelcl
ean.Itconti
nued.Count l
esstimes.I
knewIhadt ogetoutofthere.Isleptwithainvestor
i
nt heorphanageandhegotmeaj obasaPAata
l
awf i
rm.Istart
edusingkenforsexualpl easure.I
gotaddict
edtot hewaytheymadef eelandIliked
havingt
hem succumbt ome.Ondar kdaysI'dget
fl
ashbacksandt hewayoutofal lthatpainwassex.
Notanykindofsex.Ther oughsex. "
Il
ookdownast ear
sst
ream downmyfaceandf
or
onceIacknowl
edgedwhathappenedt
ome.
"
Noamountofsexwil
lmakei
tal
lgoaway.
",Langa
whi
sper
edi
nmyear .
Hewasver ytenseandhekeptf l
ari
nghisnose.I
rubbedmyhanddownhi sarmsandhel ookedat
me.Theoceanwaswi ldandthemoonshi ned
bright
er.Hi
spissed.Il
aymyhandonhi sshoulder
asmyt earskeptfal
li
ng.Somethi
ngf el
lonmyhand
thatwasonhi sthi
gh.Water?Il
ookedupandt here
wasn'tanysignofdri
pping.Il
ookedatLangaand
hewascr yi
ng.Igavehim ahugandhi sbodyshook
i
nmyar ms.
"Di
smi
ssed.Wehavei
ndi
vidualsessi
onsf
rom next
weeksi
ncewef
ini
shedourl
astt
alker
s."
Ist
oopupwi t
hhiminmyarmsandIwal
kedus
out
side.Westoodi
neachot
her
sarmsandhi
sbody
wasshakingm.
"
Khuzwayo.Cal
m down.
"
Hel
ookedatmeandIwiperhi
stear
sandst
oopon
myt
oestokisshi
seyes.
"
It
'snotyourf
aul
t.I
tsnotmi
neei
ther
."
Henodsandopenst
hedoorf
ormebef
orehoppi
ng
i
ntohi
sseat
.
"
Wef
etchi
ngyourcl
othes?
"
"
Yes.
"
Hedr i
veswit
hhishandonmi ne.If
eell
ike
somet hi
nghasbeenl
if
tedoffmychest.Isteal
glancesathi
m andhecatchesme.
"
Iloveyou.Thankyouf
orbei
ngwi
thmet
oday.
"
"
Iloveyou.I
'
m al
waysher
eforyou.
"
Thatpai
nont hesi
deofmystomachshotbackand
Igri
maced.Ihadfor
got
tenaboutt
hat
.Ieven
devel
opedamkhaba.Iclosemyeyesast
hepai
n
hi
tsmyl owerabdomen.
"
Shi
t!
"
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"
Ihavet
hispai
n.Mmmh.Fuck!
"
Hetakesal efttoDur docPr i
vateHospi t
al.Ihate
hospit
als.Ifeelwetnessi nmyor i
gin.Il
ookdown
andmyl ightbluejeanshavebl ood.Per i
ods?I
haventhadt hem i
n2mont hs.IlookatLangawi th
myeyeswi de.No!Godpl easeno!Ir ememberwe
haven'
tbeenusi ngpr otecti
onandIhaven' tbeen
taki
ngmor ningafters.
"
I'
m bl
eedi
ngLanga.
"
Helooksdownandhi seyesgowideandhi
sspeed
excel
erat
es.Iscream asi
tget
sworseandf
orthe
fi
rstt
imeeversinceIwasmeIpraytosomeone.
"Idon'
tknowwhatI 'vedonet ohaveyouhat eme
Godbutpl easedon'ttakemybabyawayf rom me.
Please.I
'veletyouletthi
ngshappent omeandt hi
s
ti
mear oundi fi
tiswhatitispleasedon'
tleti
t.Ibeg
you.IswearI
'
llst
artbel
ievi
ng.Justdot
hisone
thi
ngforme.Il
ldomor egood."
"
Baby?
",Langaaskswi
deeyed.
Theywheelmeawayassoonast heyseeusand
hisquest i
onremai nsunanswer ed.Iam sedat ed
causeIam scr eami ngfort hem t
osavemybaby.I
can'tl
oseanot herpar tofme.Iwon' tsurviveit
.
"BoSosiboabahl e.Helpadaught erout .Ngiyanicel
a
boGema.OMshi ngi l
a.OThusi .
"AndIl ose
consciousness.Godi fmysuspi cionsar ecor r
ect
thanIbegyou.HowcomeIdi dn'tnot i
cesoon?I
wasgai ningalotofwei ght.Myst omachhadgr own
plumper .Mymoodswer eever
ywher e.Ihopeitsnot
whatIt hinki
tis.Letitbesever eper iodpai ns.
20
UNYEZI
"
Langaanswerme.
"
Hekeepslooki
ngatmewi thredeyes.Ihavebeen
aski
nghim whathappenedandhisjustlooki
ngat
me.Ablackfemalewalksinadoctorscoatandshe
cl
earsherthr
oat.
"
Howar
eyouf
eel
ingma'
am?
"
"
I'
minpai
n."
Shewalksuptomeandchecksthesehospi
tal
devi
cesbefor
ewri
ti
ngever
ythi
ngdown.
"
Whathappened?
"
"
Youwer
e9weekspr
egnant
."
"
Wer
e?"
"
Yes.Youl
ostt
hebabyma'
am.
"
Icl
osemyeyes.IguessI
'
m notGodsf
avour
it
e.
"
Whatcausedi
t?"
"Wearedoi
ngt
est
sandwai
ti
ngonr
esul
ts.Doyou
smokema'am?
"
"Yes.Idi
dn'tknowIwaspregnantt
hou.Iwoul
d've
stopped.IswearIwoul
d'vest
opped.Thi
sismy
fault
."
"We'r
enotsurewhat'st
hecauseofthemi scarr
iage
ma'am.I'l
lbekeepi
ngyouheret
il
lthetestresult
s
areready.MrKhuzwayosai
dthefoetuswi l
lbe
buri
ed."
Shewal ksoutandIcan' tevencr y.Atleastift
ears
escapedI '
dcryital
lout.Ididn'
tnot iceIwas
pregnant .SureI'
vegainedabi tofwei ghtandal lbut
Ijustthoughti twasbecauseI '
m happy.Il ookat
Langaandhehashi sheadi nhi shands.I '
m surehe
blamesmef orthi
s.Iwassosur emyl i
fewast aking
adifferentstep.Iwassosur ethatI'l
lfi
nall
ygeta
chancet obehappybutIguesst hatisnotforme.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
Hel i
ft
shisheadupandhestar
esatmer
ighti
nthe
eye.Hisoceani
sreal
lywi
ldandhi
smoonisvery
dark.
"
It
snotyourf
aul
t.Ishoul
d'veusedpr
otect
ion.
"
"
We'
rebot
htobl
ameont
hat
."
"
Ical
l
edthef
ami
ly.They'
reout
side.Shoul
dIl
et
t
hem i
n?"
Inodslowl
y.Iwantt
ocrysobadbutnothi
ngi
s
comingout
.ThewholeKhuzwayoclanwal
ksi
nand
ther
eisagir
landanoldmanwiththem.
"
Sawubonandodakazi
."
,theol
dmansays.
Hisr
eall
ynotthatol
dbuthehasafewwri
nkl
eli
nes
andtheresembl
anceint
hisr
oom i
sser
ious.
"
NgiwuBabawabafanabakaKhuzwayo.(
I'
mthe
f
atheroft
heKhuzwayoboys.
)"
If
igur
ed.Theyst
andar
oundt
hebed.
"Langatol
duswhathappened.Hast
hedoct
orsai
d
anythi
ng?"
"
No.Theywai
ti
ngont
her
esul
ts.
"
"
Theywon'
tfi
ndamedi
cal
expl
anat
ion.
"
"
Sor
ry?
"
Ndabenkuluopensthedoorandt el
lssomeonet o
comei n.Averygoodlookingwomandr essedin
tr
adit
ionalbeadsandclothswalkedinaft
erhim and
stoodatthefootoft
hebed.IlookatLangaandhe
nodsatme.
"Sosi
bo.Gema.Thusi
.Mshi
ngi
la.
"Shechant
smy
clannames.
I
'
m st
il
lver
yconf
usedast
owhat
sgoi
ngonher
e.
"
Nayii
ndodakaziyenui
landel
wai
fuel
imnyana
ngenxayezonozi
kanyoko.
(Her
eisyourdaught
er
bei
ngfoll
owedbyadar kcl
oudbecauseofher
motherssi
ns.)
"
"Sondel
anikuyeni
mboni sei
ndl
ela
egodukayo.
(comecloserandshowhert
heway
home.)"
Shest
art
sgr
unt
inganddanci
ngar
oundt
her
oom.
"
Ngi
thivumanibo!
"
"
Siyavuma!
".
Shest
opsandl
ooksmest
rai
ghti
ntheeye.
"Yourmothercommi t
tedasin.Hersi
nsareonyou
andtheancestorshadtakenawayyourdaught
er.
Youneedt ogohomeandapol ogi
seonyour
mother'
sbehalf.I
snotyoumi ghtaswel
lkil
l
yoursel
f.
"
Di
dshehavet
obesoi
nsensi
ti
ve?Shewal
ksout
.
"Idon'
tevenknowmymot her.WhydoIhaetobe
theonesuf f
eri
ng?If
uckenhateherandi
fIf
indher
ali
veI'
llcutherwombout!
"
Langahol
dsmeandbei
ngi
nhi
sembr
acet
ri
gger
s
somet hi
ngm andIl etthet ear sfall
.Whydoesmy
l
ifeal waystakeal ef twhenI 'm happy?Whydoesi t
havet obemet hatsuff ers?Mymom i sprobably
l
ivingi npeaceandher eIam.Il ostmychi l
dfor
somet hi
ngIhavenoknowl edgeabout .Idon't
believeintraditi
onalst uf fbutIhavet odot his.
Wher ethefuckam Igoi ngt ofindmyf ami l
y?Icry
evenl ouderandLangaj usthol dsme.Shesai di
t
wasadaught er.Theyt ookawaymybabygi rl
.All
becauseIwasbi rt
hedbyasnakeofawoman!I
don' tthi
nkI'
llbouncebackf rom this.Imi ghtaswell
kil
lmysel fast hattraditionaldoct orsai d.Ihave
beent hr
oughsomuchal readyandj ustwhenI
thoughtIwasget t
ingmyhappyendi ngt his
happens.
"Iboughtyousomef
ood.
",t
hegi
rlsaysandsmi
les
atme.
"
I'
m notr
eal
lyhungr
y.Ij
ustwantt
ogohome.
"
"
Dadcanor
gani
set
hatbuti
fonl
yyoueat
."
Langat
akest
hef
oodfr
om herandgrabsaspoon.
Themoodinmywar
dissotenseandsombre.My
heartachessobad.Langahasn' tcri
edorsaid
anythi
ng.Hef eedsmeashi sfatherwalksout .I
movemyf aceawayaf ter4spoonsandheput sit
away.Hegoesbackt ohi scornerandsi tthere.
Everyonelookssosad.Il aydownandhol dmy
stomach.Il etthetear
sf allagainandmysobsar e
theonlythinghear dinthatwar d.Anotherpartof
met akenawayf or
cefully.Whydopeopl ethinkthat
theycantakef r
om myl ifeallt
heywant ?
21
LANGALAKHE
Ithi
nkwhathur t
sthemosti st hatwedidn'tknow
wewereexpect i
ng.Itwasther eanditwasgone.No
onewould'vepr eparedmef orthis.WhenUnyezi
tol
dherstoryandIhear dhersobssomet hinginside
memoved.Ican' tbeli
eveourf ell
owbrothersbr eak
womenl i
ket hi
s.Dadhadgot tenUnyezi discharged
andheissadt hathehadt omeetherl i
ket his.We
weredoingal r
ightandt hi
shadt ohappen.Unyezi is
sit
ti
nginthepassengerseatwi t
hherheadf aci
ng
upandhereyescl osed.Shehasherhandsonher
tummy.Ngi bongauMamabyBl aqDiamondandI
bl
inkawayt
het
ear
s.
"Ngi
bongauMamangempi l
oengi
nayo.Ungi
khuki
se
uwedwangingenababa.Ohashabal
alaamaphupho
wakho.Wazini
kel
akiminjengomt
anawakho."
Shesingssof tl
ybefor easobbreaksout .Shecr
ies
real
lypainfullyandl et'
soutascream.Ist oponthe
sideofther oadandever yonedoestoo.Iopenmy
doorandheadf orhers.Iopenitandtakeherinmy
arms.Wesi tont hefloorandshecries.Iholdmy
tearsback.Ineedt obest rongf
orher.Mybr ot
hers
andsistercr oachinf rontofus.
"
Stophol
dingi
tbaf
o.Khal
a(cr
y?"
,Khul
ekanisays.
Ishakemyheadandpul
lUnyezi
closerasherhol
d
ti
ghtensonme.If
eel
alumponmyt hr
oatandItr
y
swallowi
ngi
t.
"
Khal
andodana.
(cr
yson)
",Dadsays.
Ican'tcry.Ifwebothcrywhoisgonnacomfor
tthe
other.Sheneedsmeasst r
ongasIcanbe.Thando
tr
iespullingUnyezifr
om myeyesbutIhol
dher
ti
ghter.
"Letmet akeUnyezi
.Comeonbhut i
.She'
ssti
lli
n
painandhol di
ngthi
stightt
ohermighthur
t
her."
,Thandosayspull
ingUnyezi
awayfrom me.
TheywalktoDadscarandtheydri
veoff.Iremai
n
onthef
loorlooki
ngatwher
et hecarwent.She
needsme.Itryst
andi
ngupbutBhekikhayapushes
mebackdown.
"
Whatdi
dIt
eachyouLanga?
",Dadsays.
"
Thatr
ealmencr
y."
"
Nowwhyar
eyounotdoi
ngdo?
"
"
Ihavet
obest
rongf
orherBaba.
"
"
Andwhodoyouexpectt
obest
rongf
oryou?
"
"
Obaf
o.Nawe.
"
"Andwecanbest r
ongfort
hebot
hofy'al
l.Handall
yourl
eadstoNdabenkul
uandhe'
llr
esumel ooki
ng
fort
hegir
lsfami
ly.
"
Il
ookatNdabenkul
uandhenodsandpat
smy
shoul
der
.
"
Khal
abaf
o."
Iputmyheadonmyhandsandt hef
ir
stsob
escapesmyl
ips.Theysi
tnextt
omeasIcry.
"
Tear
sofpai
n.
Ani
nnocentl
if
elost
.
Hermot
her
swombl
eftempt
y.
Herf
ather
shear
tscat
ter
ed.
Tear
sofabr
okenman.
Cr
iesofabr
okenwoman.
Anangell
ostt
otheancest
ors.
Asacr
edsoult
akeni
nrevenge.
Adaught
erpayi
ngf
orhermot
her
ssi
ns.
Herwai
lspi
erci
nghear
ts.
Hi
ssobsr
ingi
ngoutt
othewor
ld.
OKhuzwayobasezi
nhl
ungwi
ni.
Wehol
dhands.
Wecr
ytoget
her
.
Wehadal
llost
.
Adaught
er.
Ani
eve.
Asi
ster
.
Agr
anddaught
er.
Mayhersoulr
esti
npeace.
Weshal
lkeepheri
nourhear
ts.
Hersoull
ivi
ngamongstusall
."
,Bheki
khayasays
thi
spoem andmysobsfalli
nsyncwithKhul
ekanis
humming.
Iremembert hisr i
tualofours.West arteddoi ngit
whenmot herdiedandDadwassad.Bheki khaya
freestyledapoem aswehummed.Wecar riedon
doingi tf oreveryoneofuswhowassad.I tnever
gotol d.Theyhel pmeupandIl etBheki khayadr i
ve.
Mycr i
esar ehear dinthecarasDadkeepson
tell
ingmet oletitallout.I
'veneverfeltsomuch
painbef ore.Ican'tevenr emembert hel astt i
meI
criedaf terBongeka.Weal lgetoutafterthecari s
par ked.Wewal ki nsideandThandoi sint hekitchen
wi t
hherel bowsont hecounterandherhands
ent
winedandherheadbal
ancedoni
t.
"
Amen.
"
Sheendsherprayerandlooksatus.Shenodsat
meandIheadt omybedr oom andIfi
ndUnyezi
si
tti
ngontopofthebed.Hereyesneverlookedso
dead.Isi
tnextt
oherandhol dherhand.If
eela
str
ongurgetopray.Ipul
lUnyezidownwithmeand
wegoonourknees.Ican'tpraybutI'
l
ltr
y.
"
God.
"
Wordsgetstuckonmyt hroatandIjustcr
y.We
bothcr
yonourkneesandshehol dsmecl ose.God
Ican'
tsayanythi
ngbuthearmycr i
es.Myhear t
saysal
lIwanttosay.Ihavetof i
ndherfamilysoon.
Wehavet odothenecessarytohelpherfi
ndpeace.
Iwasgoingtofat
heradaught er
.Ihearthedoor
openandIlookuptofindLangaandNkosi nathi.
"
Mkhul
utol
dus.
"
Langajustthrowshishandaroundusandcries.
Nkosinathij
oinsinandwemour nthedeat
hofour
daughterandt hei
rsist
er.Wegoi
ngtogetthr
ough
thi
s.Wehavet o.Ij
ustneedali
tt
lemoreti
met o
comei ntoter
mswithyest
erdaysact
ivi
ti
es.
Bhekikhayaspoem pl
aysi
nmyheadandIf eelmor
e
tear
sf l
owdown.Ifeelaheadachecoming.
22
LANGALAKHE
Itsbeenweekofpai nandt ears.Dadhadgot ten
Unyezial eavebutnoonet oldheritsbecausehe
ownst hecompany.Wedeci dedt obur ythef oet us.
Ithadn' tdevel opedr eall
ybutwever yt r
aditional .We
arealsogoi ngtohaveacl eansi ngceremonyf or
UnyeziandDadsuggest edt hatIgetcl eansedt oo
sinceI '
mt hef ather.Weal sof oundal ead.Itsi na
vill
agenotf arfr
om our sandi fitsthecor rectl ead
thanwe' reidiots.IgocheckuponUnyezi out side.
She'sl ayingont hegr asswi t
hLangaand
Nkosi nat hiandt heyar elookingatt hemoonand
stars.Sher eallylovesthemoon.Il ovet hemoon
toobuther .Unyezi.Themoon.Shehast akena
l
ikingoft hegar denandshespendsmostofher
ti
meher e.Thandost andsnextt ome.
"
She'
sbeaut
if
ulbhut
i.
",sher
emi
ndsme.
"
Herbeaut
ysuppr
essest
hatoft
hemoon.
"
"
She'
sUnyeziaf
teral
l.
"
Westandt
herelooki
ngatthem andInudgeThando
sowewalktowardsthem.
"
Mama"
,Langacal
lsout
.
"
Boy.
"
"
DaddysaysSphi
woi
sinheaven.
"
Shesmil
esatl
ooksatmoon.Imi
ssedseei
ngher
smil
e.
"
Hiswr
ong.
"
Haai
!
"
Thanwher
eisshe?
"
"
Upt
her
e."
Shepoint
satt
hemoonandwealllookup.Thando
si
tsnextt
oNkosi
nat
hiandIsi
tnexttoLanga.
"
Mommyl
ovesyou.
"
"
Daddyl
ovesyout
oo.
"
"
Bhut
iLangal
ovesyou.
"
Bhut
iLanga?Weal
lchuckl
e.
"
Bhut
iNkosil
ovesyou.
"
"
Aunt
ylovesyout
oo.
"
"Mkhulul
ovesyou.
",dadsvoi
cemakesust
urn
around.
"
Mal
umel
ovesyou.
"
Mybrot
hersal
lfoll
owandItakeUnyezi
shand.
She'
sget
ti
ngabi temot
ional
.
"
Mkhul
u."
"
YeboMzukhul
u."
"
Sphi
woi
swi
thGogo.
"
Mydadsmil
eswi t
htearsi
nhi
seyes.Af
teral
lthese
year
shest
il
llovesher
.
"
IloveyouMkami
."
Wealllookupatthemoon.Il
oveyouMa.Ismile
andkissUnyezi
shand.Shehasgi
venusherlove
fort
hemoon.
"
Thandower
en'
tyousupposedt
ocal
lthem f
or
f
ood?
"
"
Iwasbutt
hismomentwasbet
tert
hanf
ood.
"
Ihel
pUnyeziupandIki
ssherf
orehead.
"
Iloveyoumamawabant
wanabam.
"
Shesmi
lesandwi
pesawayhert
ear
s.
"
Iloveyoubabawabo.
"
Ihugherandsher et
urnsit.Inevergetoverher
hugs.Theyar ethewarmestandsof t
esthugsI '
ve
everhadaftermoms.Iki ssherheadandIl ookat
themoon.Twomoonsi nmyl if
e.Whatmor ecouldI
everaskfor?Wewal kinsideandwej oi
never yone
onthefloor
.I t
sfamil
yni ghtasThandocooked
Afri
canbreadandTr ibe.Langapr ayandwedi gin.I
feedUnyeziasmuchasIcan.Shehasl ostweight
butshe'
sstillasbeauti
fulasthef i
rstdayImether .
"
Wef oundtwol
eadsonyourf
ami
ly.
",
Ndabenkhul
u
f
il
lsherin.
"
Onei
neGugwi
nianot
heri
nSwazi
land.
"
"
eGugwi
ni?Justar
oundt
hecor
ner
?",
dadasks.
"Wewil
lheadther
eafterSphi
woset
husbur
ialand
yourcl
eansi
ngceremony."
"
Whati
f-
"
"
Nowhati
fsmakot
i.
",Khul
ekanii
nter
rupt
sher
.
It
akeanot
hersl
iceofuj
egqeandf
eedher
.
"Whenyoualldoneeat
inggotosleep.Weleave
ear
lytomor
row.Sphiwosbodyhasar ri
vedand
GogoPumleiswaiti
ngonus."
,dadsaysstandingup.
"AndwenaLangal
akhel
ihl
e.Thepoorki
disf
ull
."
,he
scol
ds.
Iputthesl
icedownandKhulekanil
aughs.Ihel
pher
standupandtheboysfol
lowus.
"
Yousl
eepi
ngwi
thus?
"
"
Yes.Wepr
omi
sedmom.
"
God!I
tsanotherni
ghtofKarat
efrom Langa.Langa
makesuspraybeforewegetintobed.Assoonas
hefal
lsasl
eephelandsaslaponNkosi nat
hi.
"
Shi
t!HayiBaba.I
'
m gone.
",Nkosi
nat
hisays
r
unni
ngaway.
Langaturnsaroundandkicksmyst omachandI
groan.Shit
!Iholditi
nasIdon'twanttowake
Unyeziup.IfhekicksmeI'l
lpi
nchhim.Ifal
lasl
eep
withLangassleepingver
ti
call
y.I
tsgonnabealong
ni
ght.
23
UNYEZI
Iam wakenupbyaf ootinmymout h.Imove
Langasf ootaway.Isi tupst raightandlookt o
Khuzwayossi deandi t'
sempt y.Iheartheshower
runningandIst andup.Ilookatmysel fint hehuge
mi r
rori
nhi sroom.Myeyeshaveeyebagsunder
them andI '
velostabi tofwei ght.Istandt herefora
fewmi nutesandt heheavinessi nmyhear tpushes
medownonmyknees.Thandohasahugei mpact
onmyl iferightnow.She' sdoi ngpsychol ogysoshe
standsasmypsychol ogist.Wespendmostoft he
ti
met ogethert alki
ng.I
'veletheri nthedar kest
depthsofmet hatevenLangadoesn' tknow.Wear e
l
eavingtodayf orherburialandmyhear thurts.Il
et
thetearsasIt rykeepingqui etsoLangal amidoesn't
wakeup.Thandoswor dscomet omi ndl i
kethey
alwaysdowhenI 'm abouttobr eakdown."
Pray.No
paincanbeatprayer.Pray.Iknowi tget
stir
ing
talki
ngtosomeoneyoucan' tseeandwhodoesn' t
respondbutHehear syou."Igeti nsi
deKhuzwayos
closetandkneeldown.
"God.Thepai ni swei ghingmedown.Ihave
sufferedenoughandIam st art
ingtothinkI'm your
l
eastf avouri
te.Iwasst i
llt
ryi
ngt ohealfrom other
woundsandawoundbi ggerandmuchmor eraw
openedup.Idon' thaveenoughst r
engtht ofight
awayt hepain.I '
m hol di
ngont othelastbitofhope
butI'm sl
owlysl ipping.Whydoesi thurtsomuch?
Whydoesi thavet ocutsodeep?WhydoIhavet o
betheonesuf feringforanotherpersonssi n?
SomeoneIdon' tevenknow.I '
mt ir
ed.Emot ional
ly
andphysi cal
ly.Idon' tknow..
.Idon'tknowhowt o
takethenextst ep.Myf eetareheavy.Justhearme
outthisonce.Lett hepainsubside.Please.",Il
et
mysel fl
ayont hegr oundandIsob.
Howl ongdoesi tt
akebef
oret
hepaingoesaway?I
cryasIlayont hefl
oori
nLangascl
oset.I
thur
tsso
bad.Ididn'
tevengetachancetoat
tendone
doctor
sapartment.Shewast hereandthenshewas
gone.MycriesgetlouderasIreplaywhathappened
i
nt hecar
.Whydi dn'tIgotothedoctorwhenIfi
rst
fel
tthepai
ns?!I
tsmyf aul
t!Mine!

LANGALAKHELI
HLE
Iwal
kouttheshowerwithLangal
amileaning
agai
nstmyclosetdoorwi
thtear
sstr
eami ngdown
hi
seyes.
"
What
'swr
ongboy?
"
"
Mama.She'
sinpai
nBaba.
"
Iwal
ktowar
dst
hedoorandIhearhercr
ies.
"
Got
oNkosi
nat
hi.I
'
llt
akecar
eofmom.
"
Henodsandwal ksaway.Iopenthedoorand
Unyezii
slayi
ngont hefl
oorherbodyshakingas
shecri
es.Myhear tbl
eedsatthi
sscene.Itakeher
i
ntomyar msandshecr iesonmychest .Il
etmy
owntearsescape.Herhandsgri
pmet ighterasshe
cri
esharder
.
"
Sthandwasami
."
Shel
ooksupatmeandhertear
sdon'
tst
opf
lowi
ng.
Sheevenhashi
ccupsnow.
"
Whydoyoudot
hist
oyour
sel
f?"
"I
thurts*hi
ccup*somuch.
",shesaysasasob
breaksout.
"
Iknow.Ithur
tsformetoobutyouwanttoknow
whatgi
vesmet hestr
engt
htoholdone?"
Sheshakesherhead.
"
You.Theboys.Myf
ami
ly.
"
"
Atl
eastyouhaveaf
ami
ly.
"
"
Atl
eastWEhaveaf
ami
ly.
"
Shelooksatmecr
ies.I
'
mtr
yingt
omakeyouf
eel
bet
ter.
"
Wantt
oknowwhathel
psmehol
donmor
e?"
Shenodsandwipeshert
earsbutf
ail
sasmor
e
comeoutandIclosemyeyes.
"Yourloveforthemoon.Yougaveusthebestgi
ft
ever.Whenyousai dmydaughterwasint
hemoon.
Iknewt hateveryni
ghtshe'
dbefol
lowi
ngme
aroundal
lni
ght.IknewthatwheneverImi
ssedher
I'
dlookupatt
hemoon. "
"
Doyoueverwonderwhatshewoul
d'vel
ooked
l
ike?
"
Ismil
eandbri
nghercl
osert
omeandmakeher
facet
hemir
rorint
hecl
oset.
"Shewould'
velookedli
keus.Wi
thyourbeaut
if
ul
skinandl
ovingpersonal
it
yandshe'
dhavemy
eyes,
noseandsmi l
e."
"
Andt
hedi
mpl
es.
"
"
Obvi
ousl
y.Thedi
mpl
esar
ethechar
m."
"
Wel
lit
stheeyesr
eal
ly.
"
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
"
You'
renoti
nthi
sal
one.
"
ShehugsmeandIhel pusup.Ili
ftherupandwal
k
tot
hebathroom.Shehastotakeashowercause
wedon'twantDadbreat
hingdownournecks.She
wal
ksintheshowerandIsitonthetoil
etseat
.
"
I'
llber
ighther
e."
Shenodsandst arttakingashower .Myeyest r
ail
downherbodyast hewat ercascadesdownher
body.Shehasbeaut ifullegst hatareconnect edto
themostt hi
ckestthighs.Shehasasmal lwaistand
aver ysmal lstomach.Thani tsthetitt
ies.Theyar e
l
ikemyj oysti
ck.Iuset hem tocont r
oleverypar tof
herbody.Il ovethest r
etchmar ksonherass.She
hasat at
tooont hesi deofherboot y"mybody.my
art.
"andIwantt ot akeapi cturesobad.Iputmy
handovermyboner .Shet ur
nsar oundandmyeyes
got oherbel l
ybut t
on.Shehasabel l
ybut t
on
piercingandIl oveit.Myeyesgot ohert i
tsandher
nipplesareer ectandt hewat ercascadi ngdown
them.Il i
ckmyl i
psandcl earmyt hr
oat.I'
m stil
lina
towelandI '
m notdoi ngagoodj obathi di
ngmy
bonerashereyesgost r
aightt oitandshel aughs.
Gladyouf i
ndt hi
sf unny.
"
Wozal
a.(
comeher
e.)
"
Ishakemyheadandshel
aughsatme.
"
Woza.(
Come)
"
"
GezaUnyezi
.(
bat
hUnyezi
)"
"
Iwantyourhel
pangi
thi
.Canyouwashmyback?
"
Igroanandstandupanddi scardthetowel.She
turnsaroundandItakethescrubberfr
om her.We
haven'tbeeni
nti
matesincewel ostourbabyand
havingherassthi
sclosetomydi ckisdri
vingme
crazy.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Ist
opst ari
ngandreal
iseIhaven'
tst
art
edwhasi ng
herback.Istar
twashingherbackandsheputher
handont hewallasIwashherupperback.Ifeelher
asstouchmydi ckandIgroan.She'
sdoingthison
purpose.
"
Unyezi
."
"
Mmh"
"
Ha.
a(no)
"
"
Ngenzeni
?(whatdi
dIdo?
)"
"
Qhubekauzobona.
(car
ryonyou'
l
lsee.
)"
Shepushesherassnear
erandi
ttakesever
ythi
ng
i
nmet onothol
dherinplaceandsepar
ateherl
egs
andent
erherfr
om behi
nd.
"
MaGemakhuzeka.
(ber
epr
imanded.
)"
"
Kodwangenzeni
?(butwhatdi
dIdo?
)"
"Okokugci
nangikukhuza.Qhubeka.Uzophumal a
ungakwaziukuhamba.(thi
sisthelastt
imeI'm
repr
imandingyou.Carryon.You'
llgetouthere
unabletowalk.
)"
Shei gnoresmeandpushesherassf uther.If
eelmy
dicktwitchandIholdherwaistandseparateher
l
egswi t
hmyl egs.Ir
ubmysel fonherandInotice
she'salreadywetsoIenteranditf
eelsli
kehome.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Shesst i
llhasherhandsont hewallandIgr aba
fi
stf
ulofherhai r
.Ipumpi ntoherrealhardandIl et
myf r
ustr at
ionsout.Il
etgoofherhai randholdher
ti
tandbr ingherupt ome.Herheadi sonmy
shoulderandherbacki sarchedasIpumpi ntoher.
Hermoansdr i
vemecr azyast heyescapeherl i
ps.I
rubonhercl i
tandshescr eamsoutmynameas
shecums.It urnofft
hewat erandpi ckherupand
l
ayheront hebathroom fl
oor .Iputherlegsonmy
shoulderandenterher .ShemoansoutasIgo
deeperandshescr at
chesmyback.Thesl appingof
ourfleshandmygr oansandhermoansar eal lthat
canbehear d.Byt hesoundwemaki ngIcant ellshe
i
sevenwet ter
.ShecumsandIf uckhert hr
oughher
orgasmst il
lIcum andshesqui rt
salloverme.Il et
goofherl egsandt heyfallbesidemeshaki ng.We
bothbr eat
hingheavil
y.
"
WasIt
oor
ough?
"
Shenodsandsmi
les.
"
Sor
ry.
"
"
Itwasntt
hatbad.Myscal
pandboobhur
tst
hou.
"
"
Sor
ry.Ij
ustl
etever
ythi
ngout
."
"
It
sokay.
"
"
Canyoust
andup?
"
"
Myl
egsar
eshaki
ngIdoubt
."
Ipi
ckherupandshe'sst
il
ldri
ppi
ng.Iputheront
op
oft
hetoi
letseatandgowetatowel
.Iwipemysel
f
andIwetitwit
hwarm wat
er.Iwi
peherandshe
hi
sses.
"
Mycl
iti
sst
il
lsensi
ti
ve.
"
"
Sor
ry.
"
Iwipehercleanandpi ckherup.Itakeoutmy
swagpantandhoodi eforher.Ihel
pherdr essup
andshemakest hebedwhi l
eIgetdr essed.Icheck
theti
mewhenI '
m doneandwear edead.We' rean
hourlat
e.Wewal koutandheaddownst ai
rs.I
ts
empty.Iheadtot hekit
chen.Thereisanot eont he
fri
dgewithDadswr it
ing.
"
Whenyou'redonebangi
ngdr
iveaf
terus.Wel
eft
t
hina.Dad.
"
Il
aughandt
akethekeysandt
hecont
aineront
op
oft
hecount
er.We'
l
leatint
hecar
.
"
Wher
ear
ethey?
"
"
Theyl
eftus.Wedr
ivi
ngour
sel
ves.
"
"
Isi
tfar
?"
"
No.I
tsabout4hour
saway.
"
Ihandhert
hecont
ainerandsheopensi
tandt
akes
outapieceofwors.Itel
lthemanleftar
oundt
he
housetoletthehousekeeperi
n.Igeti
ntot
he
dri
ver
sseat .
"
Ourl
uggage?
"
"
Theyt
ooki
twi
th.
"
Shenodsandcar riesoneat i
ng.I'
m gladshehasa
bitofappetit
e.Idriveoffplayi
ngmaskandiandI
knowshe' l
linser
therphoneassoonassheget s
boredsoIenj oythemoment .Istealaglanceather
andshecat chesmeandsmi l
es.Iknowitsti
llhur
ts
butwe'llgetoveriftogether.
24
UNYEZI
Hepar ksi
naver yhugeyardthathasnicelybuil
t
roundhousesbui l
tar
ounditandi nt
hemi ddleisa
bigmoder nhouse.Heopenst hedoorf
ormeand
ther
ear edogs,
catsandchickensrunni
ngar ound
theyard.Achickencomest owardsusandIst and
behindLanga.
"
Ha.
amahnUnyezi
.Ayi
lumi
.(
noman.I
tdoesn'
t
bi
te.
)"
"
Ha.
aKhuzwayo.
"
Hesighsandgivesmeapiggybankandwalkst
oa
r
ondavelnearbywit
hsmokingcomingoutt
he
windows.AChinadogpassesus.
"
Putmedown.
"
"
HayimahnUnyezi
."
HeputsmedownandIr unaft
ert
hedog.Its
chi
ldi
shofmebutseei
ngthisdogjustmademe
missPlut
o.Thedogst
opsandlooksatme.
"
Heybuddy.Wozal
a."
Hewalksaway.Thatwasr ude.It
akeacatthati
s
walki
ngpastandstrokei
t.Itmakesthat"
grr
r"
soundandIsmile.Il
oveanimalsexcept
chi
cken,
cows,goatsmant heli
stgoeson.
"
Unyezi
!"
Ilookatwher
eLangai
sst
andi
ngandIwal
k
towardshi
m.
"
Leavet
hepoorani
mal
sal
one.Theywai
ti
ngonyou
i
nsi
de.
"
Iputthecatdownandi twalksaway.Iwal
ktowards
Langaandhehol dsmyhandaswewal kinsi
deand
thereissmokeeverywhere.Thesmokesti
ngsmy
eyesandIf eelmychestcloseupbutImaint
aina
strai
ghtface.
"
Sani
bonani
."
,Igr
eett
heel
der
s.
"
Sawubonamakot
i.
"
Makoti
?Uhokay.Isi
tdownonthematnextt
o
Thandoandwesmi l
eateachot
her
.
"
Ninj
anikodwa?
(howar
eyou?
)"
"
SiyazamazamaBaba.
(wet
ryi
ng.
)"
Theol
dmanstandsupandbur nsi
ncenseandhe
cal
lsmeandLanga.Wekneelbesi
deshim.
"Khuzwayo.Gumede.Qwabe.MgunikaYeyey.
Khondlo.Osidlabehl
ezibakaPhakathwayo.Abathi
bebedlabebeyengaumunt ungendaba.Nayi
nkosanayenui yakhal
aza.Izenomawabant wana
bakhe.Balahlekel
weyindodakaziisaseswi
ni.
(here
i
syourson.Hecamewi ththemotherofhischildr
en.
Theymostadaught
erwhi
leshewasst
il
linher
mother
swomb.)"
Thewomanwhowaskneel i
ngnearhi m st
art
s
makingsound.Ir ecogni
seherf rom t
hehospital.
Shest ar
tschanti
ngandsomeonebeat sadrum and
shedanceswi thhershoulders.I'
veneverbeeni n
suchasi t
uati
onbef oreandIthinkit
sbeautif
ulhow
Afri
canscani ndulgeinsuch.Beingblackhast obe
mybi ggestf
lexrightnow.
"
Niyavuma?
!",
shesaysgr
oani
ng.
"Yebosi
yavuma.
"
"AboKhuzwayobathimakangakhaliumawengane.
Sibani
keimpil
oyengane.Bebefunaeyakho.
(The
Khuzwayosaresayingthemotherofthechil
dmust
notcry.Wegaveawaythechildsli
fe.Theywant
ed
yours.
)"
Huh?Idon'
tunderst
andthi
s?Whywouldthe
Khuzwayosbefi
ghti
ngformyli
fe?I
'
m noteven
marri
edtoLangayet.
"
UKhuzwayoOmdal
aat
hiungokhet
heki
le.
Umphef
umlowakamawenganeugade
yi
bo.(
Khuzwayoseni
orsaysyou'
ret
hechosenone.
Yoursouli
sguar
dedbythem.)"
Heregoest
hischosenonenonsenseagai
n.She
st
opswitht
hegruntingandt
hedrum st
opstoo.
"Wewi l
llaySphi
wosbodytorestt
omor
row.Wewi
ll
cleansethemotherandf
ather
."
Langasf athernamedmydaught er.Ilovethename.
Shewasgi ft.Andt hanshewast aken.Hersouli n
exchangeofmi ne.Theyshoul d'vel etmel i
veabi t
l
ongert i
llIgavebi rthandt hant ookme.Shedi dn't
deservetodi ebef oreshehadevenf ul
lydevel oped.
Iwipeawaymyt earsandIwal koutt herondavel .I
walkdownt owar dswhatseem l i
kemount ains.Isit
atarockf arf rom sightwhenIf eelsomet hingf urry
brushagai nstmyl eg.Ilookdownandi tsthecatI
wascr addlingear l
ier.Ipickitupandputi tonmy
thi
ghs.Itsst il
lsmal landitspur ewhi tewithabl ack
tai
l.I
tmeowsatmeandIgi ggle.
"YouknowIhadami scarr
iage.Idi
dn'
tevenknowI
waspregnant.Iam sureshewasgonnabe
beaut
iful
.It
sherfuneralt
omor row.Weburyi
nga2
mont hfeotus.UnusualIknow.Ithurt
stoknowt hat
allofthisismyfault.IfmaybeIhadsearchedfor
myf ami l
ysoonerinl i
feIwould'
vefoundoutabout
thisblackcloudfol
lowi ngmearound.MaybeI'
m
start
ingt olosemymi nd.",
Igi
ggl
eattheend.
"
ImeanIam t
alki
ngt
oacat
."
I
tpur
rsasIst
rokei
tsf
ur.
"
Unyezi
."
It
urnar
oundandLangai
sst
andi
ngbehi
ndme.I
di
dn'
thearhi
m.
"
Areyouokay?
"
"
Yeah.Ij
ustneededt
obeal
one.
"
Hesighsandt
akeshi
shandsoutofhi
spocketand
si
tsnextt
ome.
"Iknowitspainf
ul.Pleasestophurt
ingyour
sel
f.We
l
ayinghert or
esttomor row.Youcancryasmuch
asyouwantt omor r
ow.Todayj ustbemymoon.My
Unyezi.Ineedyou."
Il
aymyheadonhi
sshoul
derandwel
ookatt
he
sun.
"
Lett
hepoorcatgonow.
"
Il
eti
tgoandi
tgoesi
nthedi
rect
ionIcamef
rom.

Thesunissetti
ngnowandwel ooki
ngatithol
ding
hands.Themountai
nscreateaper f
ectsceneand
weembr aceeachot
her
spr esence.
"
Unyezi
."
"
Khuzwayo.
"
"
Cel
aungi
shade.
(pl
easemar
ryme.
)"
Ilaughathi m andwhenIl ookathim heisserious
soIst oplaughing.Theskyi spinkandorangeand
hel ookssohandsomer ightnow.Ilookint
ohi s
eyesandt heoceani sascalm andthemoon
strawberry.Iknowt hesescene.Hei shappy.Ilook
atthesunandhi m again.DoIwantt omar r
yhim?
Yes.Inod.
"
Yes?
"
"
Yes.YesI
'
llmar
ryyou.
"
Heki
ssesmeandl
i
ftsmeup.Hest
art
sdanci
ngt
he
Zul
udanceandst
art
swhi
stl
ing.
"
NinaboKhuzwayo!Wadl
aMgunikaYeye!
"
Hei ssoZulukodwa.Hedi dn'
tevenhavearing.He
takesastreakofgrassandtiesitar
oundmyl eft
mar r
iagef
inger.Il
aughandheki ssesme.Ishould
stopwatchingmoviescauset hi
swasnotadi nner
atanexpensiverestaur
antwherehewouldkneel
downandaskmet omarryhim Ihavei
magined.
"
Ngi
yakhut
handa.
(Il
oveyou.
)"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
"
Ngi
thengi
yakut
handaMaGema.
(Isai
dIl
oveyou.
)"
"
Namingi
yakut
handa(
Iloveyouaswel
l
.)"
Heki ssesmeandwel ookatthel astbi
tofthesun
set.Ilookatmyl
efthandandt hegr assisnicel
y
ti
edar oundmyfi
nger.Ican'
twai ttotel
lthemoon
aboutt hi
smoment.IknowSphi wowoul dbe
l
istening.
25
UNYEZI
"
Unyezi
.Let
'sgetgoi
ng.
"
Ishakemyheadandwipemyt
ear
sasIpl
aywi
th
thesandont
hetomb.
"
Mkamipl
ease.
"
Hel i
ftsmeupi nbri
dalstyleandIcr yonhi sneckas
hehol dsandexi t
stheKhuzwayoCemet er
ythati
s
downhi llfr
om theyard.Hewal kswi t
hmei nhis
armsashet r
iessoot
hingmewi thwords.Wehad
l
aidhert orestaf ewhoursagoandI '
vebeenthere
since.Ijustneededtoletitallsinkin.I'
m get
ti
nga
headacheandmyeyesar edroopyandsor efr
om al
l
thecryingI'vebeendoingsi ncelastnight.
"
Sleepst
handwasami
."(
Myl
ove)
Isni
ffhisscentandthescentofhi
scol
ogne
soothesme.IrelaxmytensebodyasIal
lowsl
eep
toconsumeme.

"
Nyezivuka.
"
AhandshakesmeandIopenmyeyesandyawn.
"
Sor
rybuti
tst
imef
orcl
eansi
ng.
",Thandosays.
IgetoutofbedandInot
iceLangahadchangedme.
"
Pleasepassmet
hatdr
ess.
"
Shehandsmet hedressandIst ri
pandweari t.I
'm
notonet oweardressesandski r
tsheckIdidn't
evenownonebutLangaboughtaf ewf ormyt ri
pto
theruralset
tl
ement.Thisdressisverylongthou.It
i
st i
ghtfrom mywaistupandf lowsdownwar dsnot
givi
ngmuchawaybutl eavingsomethingfor
i
magi nati
onasmyasspopsoutabi t.Iwrapadoek
andI '
m notaneatdoekwr appersoitsjustwrapped
forthesakeofwrapping.
"
Wher
e'sLanga?
"
"Hi
swaiti
ngatthekr
aal
.Isuggestyouwearno
undergar
mentsasyouaregonnabestri
pped
naked.
"
"
Huh?
"
"
Yes.Come.Let
'sgo.
"
Shedragsmeoutsi
deourrondavelandtheai
ris
cal
m.Shepoint
smet owar
dst hekraalandI
appr
oachit
.Ther
earecowsi nsi
deandIcansee
LangakneelingnexttoGogoPuml ebarefootand
shir
tl
ess.Ithinkthi
sisthemostsexi estI
'veseen
him.HisblackLevisjeansarehungl owonhi storso.
Hesignalsformet ocomei nwi t
hhishandandI
shakemyheadcausi nghimt ostandupandwal k
uptome.Hest andsbyt hegateofthekraal.
"
Ngena.GogoPuml
eist
alki
ngt
otheancest
ors.
"
"
Thecows.Whati
ftheychaseme?
"
Hechuckl esandopenst hekraalbeforepulli
ngme
i
nside.Istickclosetohim aswewal kpastsleepi
ng
cowst othemi ddleofthekraal
.Wekneel besides
GogoPuml eandshest art
schantingandshe
dancesar ound.Isti
llwonderwhyt heycallher
'
Gogo' causeshel ookstobeinherl ate30sandshe
l
ooksver ybeaut i
ful
.
"
Wozani
.Khumul
ani
.(
come.St
ri
p.)
"
West ri
pnakedandkneeldown.Langahol dsmy
handasshepour suswit
hwat erthatsmellverybad
andmakeusdr i
nksomet hi
ngf r
om thecalabash
thatt
astesl
ikei
ronandshit.Ihol
dmysel ffr
om
gaggingandaverycol
dshiverrunsthroughmy
spineandIfeelLangashivert
ootel
li
ngmehe
experi
encedittoo.Ist
artf
eeli
ngapresencebut
whenIlookar oundther
eisnoone.
"Wozandodakazi
.Bi
ngelel
auyihl
ononyoko.
(come
daught
er.Gr
eetyourf
atherandmother
.)"
Anal binosnakeaboutt helengthofat ablespoon
crawlst ousandIcan' tseem t orecogni sethe
snake.I tcomest owar dsusandpassesusandwe
i
nst r
uct ednottolookbackt i
llwear ri
veatour
rondavel .Wearet oldnott ot akeabat ht oni
ghtand
thatwat erhadgr assoni tandi t
sitchy.GogoPuml e
walksi nf r
ontofuspr ai si
ngourcl annamesaswe
foll
owherwi t
houtl ookingback.Ist areupatt he
moonandIsmi leal it
tle.Wewal ki
nsi deour
rondavelandwesi tont opoft hebedi nsi l
ence.I
takeof fthedressandt ossi tonthechai randLanga
discardshi sj
eans.
"
Wesmel
lhor
ri
ble.
",Isayandhechuckl
es.
"
That
sbecausewesmel
ll
ikecowshi
t.
"
"
What
?"
"
Theyusedcowshi
ttheyputi
nthatwat
er.
Tomor
rowt
hey'
l
lbr
ingi
nInt
elezi
."
"
Int
elezi
."
"Let
'sj
ustsayi
tsgonnabet
hemostpai
nfulbat
hof
yourli
fe.
"
Helaughsandget si
nsidethebl
ankets.Cowshi
t?I
t
hinkI'
llvomi
t.Igeti
nbesidehim andhemakesme
l
ayonhi schestandIli
stentohi
shear t
beat
.
"
Whatwaswi
tht
hesnake?
"
"
Thatwasourdaught
er.
"
"
How?
"
"Shetookthefor
m ofasnake.Iguessshet
ookyour
familyfor
m si
nceourancest
orsshowinthefor
m of
grasshopper
s."
"Wei
rd.Ver
ywei
rd.
",Isaycl
osi
ngmyeyes."
Ilove
you.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
HebrushesmybackandIt raceoverhistat
toos
wit
hmyf ingerandwelayinsil
ence.Theheaviness
i
nmyhear ti
snotasheavyanymor ebutIknowit'
ll
t
akesomet
imebef
oreIhealcompl
etel
y.
26
UNYEZI
Iscrat
chmyselfasIsi
tonthebed.Wewerewoken
upearlyandbathedi
nInt
elezi
.Myski
nissoi
tchyi
t
burns.Langai
slaughi
ngatme.
"
Stopl
aughi
ng.
"
Heki
ssesmyl
ipsandl
aysont
hebed.
"
Stopscr
atchi
ngyour
sel
f.You'
remaki
ngi
twor
se.
"
Igi
vehim adeat
hst
areandcar
ryonscr
atchi
ng
mysel
f.
"Scr
atchyour
sel
fonemor
eti
meandI
'
llchewyour
nail
soff.
"
"
Geez!Fi
ne!
"
Igetupandstar
tdressingup.Hespanksmeonmy
wayout.Iwalki
nsi
det hekitchenint
hemainhouse
andthewivesar
ecooki ng.Istoponmyfoot
sreps
asmynamei sment i
oned.
"
ThatUnyezit
hinkswewi
llcookf
orher
.Shecan'
t
keepachildandshecan'tevenfi
llherhusband'
s
stomach.Withthosebast
ardchil
drenbraggingmy
food.Theyshouldgofi
ndtheirf
ather.
"
Iwalkinsideandtheyst
opt al
king.Theonewiththe
bi
gmout hlooksatmeandcl i
ckshertongue.Ipour
myselfsomewat erinaglassandl ookatt
hem asI
dri
nk.
"Tel
lme.Soyouopenaf ancl
ubwi
thoutmy
knowledge.Wantaut
ogr
aphs?"
Theot herwi
veslookawayandcar
ryonwithther
e
chores.Theblabbermout
hwholooksl
ikeshes18
fol
dsherar ms.
"
Andyou.Youlook18.Youhearbl
abbingyour
mouthaboutani
ndependentwomanwhor ecei
ves
apaychequeinaki
tchenthat
snotevenyours.
"
Shecli
ckshert
ongueandIbefor
eIwalkoutt
he
ki
tchenIt
wistmywristl
andi
ngwateronherf
ace
andIputthegl
assdown.
"
Callmykidsbast
ardagainI'l
lst
rangl
eyou.I
miscar
ri
edbutsel
frespectissti
llt
her
e.Can'
tsay
t
hesameaboutyout hou."
Iwal koutasshewi pesherf ace.Ievenlostmy
appet i
te.Iwalkdownhi llandIsi tonmyr ockand
pickupr ocks.Didsher eall
yhavet obri
ngupmy
mi scarri
age?Iwipeal onet earandt hr
owr ocksin
theai r
.Itwasn'tmyfault.Istandupandwal k
towar dsthecemetery.Ient erandt heauragets
thick.Ikneelovergr
aveandcar esshertomb.
"Mommyhasbeendoingsogoodeventhoughmy
bodyi
sit
chyandal
l.
",
Ilaughandsni
ff
.
"SomebodysaidIfai
ledt
okeepyout oday.Ital
most
soundedtr
ue.Ial
mostbelievedit
.We'regoi
ngt o
l
ookformyf amil
ytodayandI '
m soscared.
"
Isni
ffandwi
pemyt
ear
s.
"
Mama.
"
Itur
naroundandt
heboysar
est
andi
ngout
sidet
he
cemeter
y.
"
Boys?
"
"
They'
recal
li
ngf
oryou.
"
Inodandtheywal
kinfr
ontandIwal
kbehi
nd.
Nkosi
nat
hicomeswithwaterf
ormetowashmy
handsbeforeIentertheyard.Wewal khandinhand
totherondavelki
tchen.Thegi r
lfrom earl
ieri
son
thematcryingdramat i
call
y.Theboyswal koutasI
sitonamatt oo.TheKhuzwayobr othersareseat
ed
nexttoeachotherandt hereisanol dmant oo.
Langasfatherlef
taftert
hef uneral.
"MaGema.Thobani
swi
feSi
yandasaysyouhave
usedfor
ceonher."
"
For
ce?
"
"
Sheal
sost
atedt
hatyouspi
ltwat
eronherf
ace.
"
"
Oht
hat
.Iact
ual
lywant
edt
odr
ownheri
nthesi
nk.
"
Khul
ekanil
aughsandSi
yandacr
ieshar
der
.
"
Hai
bo!Langakhuza.
(r
epr
imand)
"
LangalooksatmeandInoticehi
sjawt
ick.Hecan
getpi
ssedallhewantsbutIwon'
tbeni
cetoher
aft
erwhatshesaidaboutme.
"
Justapol
ogi
zeUnyezi
."
,Langasays.
Sonooneiswil
li
ngtohearmysi
de.Il
ookat
Thandoandsheshr
ugs.
"
Iwontbeapologi
zing.Shecanbashmeallshe
wantf
orwhateverr
easonbutnotLangaand
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
Istandupandwal koutf ur
iously.AsforIused
for
ceonher !Sheinsultsmeandcal l
sameet i
ngon
me?She' sbul
shit
tingme.Ient erourrondavelandI
headforthebathr
oom.Iwashmyf aceandIhear
thedooropenandcl ose.Ipeekandi tsLanga.He
l
ockst hedoorandwal kstowardsme.
"
Unyezi
.That
'snothowt
hingsar
edonei
nthi
s
f
amil
y."
"
Thany'
al
lai
n'tdoi
ngshi
t.
"
"
Goapol
ogi
ze.Youowet
heel
der
sanapol
ogyt
oo.
"
"Whatshoul
dIapologi
zefor?Doingsomet
hing
aboutanupti
ghtt
eenager
? !Angi
funi
!"
"
Don'
trai
seyourvoi
ceatme.
"
"
Voet
sek!Uzowenzani
?"
HelooksatmeandIr
egr
etsayi
ngt
hat
.Hewal
ks
cl
osertomeandImoveback.
"
Uzokhal
aUnyezi
.(
you'
l
lcr
y.)
"
"
Ngizokhal
iswayi
niLangal
akhel
ihl
e?(
Whatwoul
d
makemecr y)
Her
unshi
stongueoverhi
steet
h.
"
Ngi
zokushayaUnyezi
.(
I'
llhi
tyou)
Igul
pandl
ookaway.
"
Hambauyoxol
isa.
(goapol
ogi
ze)
"
"
ButIam noti
nwr
ong.
"
"
Idi
dn'
tsayyouwer
e."
Hesit
sdownandpatst
hespacenextt
ohim.I
'
d
rat
herst
andher
e.Hewant
edtohitmenotsol
ong
ago.
"
Iwon'
thi
tyou.
"
Isi
tbesi
dehi
m andhelooksmeint
heeyes.The
moonandoceanneverl
eavi
ng.
"Meleuyiyekheibhar
iizenzeicl
ever.Wenacl
ever
uzenzeibhari.
(youshouldletanidi
otactsmar
t.And
youactdumb. )"
"Butshesaidsomereal
lyhur
tfulthi
ngs.Shesai
dI
couldn'
tkeepababyandIcan'tkeepyoufull
.She
basi
cal
lycal
ledmeaf
ail
ureofawoman.
"
"I
'
m sor
ryst
handwa.Goapol
ogi
zesowecanavoi
d
drama.
"
Inodandhekissesmehungr
il
y.Helaysmedown
andhishandgoesundermydressandher
ubsmy
cl
itontopofmypanty.
"
Langa.
"
"
Mmmh?
"
"
Themeet
ing.
..apol
ogy.
",
Isaywhi
lemoani
ng.
"
Aft
ert
his.
"
Hetakesmydr essoffandIhelphi
m outofhi
s
cl
othes.Hepositi
onshimsel
fbefor
eslamminghar
d
i
nsidemeandIscr eam gr
abbinghi
m.[REMOVED]
27
UNYEZI
"
Letmegrabanappl
efrom t
heki
tchen.I
'
llf
indyou
i
nthecar
."
,Isaywhi
leki
ssi
nghischeek.
Iwal
ktotheki
tchenandSandisi
weist
her
ecooki
ng.
Iwal
kinandshesmirks.Langamademeapol
ogi
ze
earl
ieronandshethi
nksshewon.Igetanappl
e
fr
om thefri
dgeandgetakni
feandIpeeli
twhil
e
l
ookingather.
"
Pleasegetout
.Iwantt
ofi
nishcookingf
ormyi
n
l
awssincesomeofusaremar r
ied.
"
Il
aughandpoi
ntt
hekni
fe.
"
Lalelal
awenaskhwamasedi ckies.Igrewupin
t
hehood.I'
llsli
ceyourfuckencli
toff.I
fyoueverbe
abitcht
owardsmeIwi l
landohtrustmesi si
.
Khozogone.(l
i
stenhere.Cli
tgone.)
"
Iwalktowar
dsandsli
cehercheeksandblood
tr
ickl
esdowntoherwif
eatt
irethatseemswaytoo
hottobeini
nthi
shotweather.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
orusi
ngf
orceonyou.For
giveme.
"
Ichuckl
eandwal
kbutst
oponmyst
epwhenIget
tothedoor
.
"
Ohandnoonewi
llknowaboutt
his.
"Isaysmi
li
ng.
It
hrowtheknif
eatherandsheducks.Iwalkout
whil
ebit
ingt
heappleandI'
m sopissedbutI'
m
smil
ingsoLangadoesn'
tnot
ice.If
eltl
ikepuki
ng
whenIsaidsor r
yinfrontofthewholefamil
y.
Nothingpissesmeoffmor ethanbeingputonthe
standforsomethingIdidn'
tcommit.Theboysare
l
eavingwithKhukekaniandThandoasi tisschool
tomorrow.
"
Pleasebehave.
"
"
Mom.Weal
waysdo.
",
Langasays.
"
You?Shame.
"
IkissthecheeksandNkosinat
higoesonabouthow
oldhei snow.Igeti
nthecarwith
Bhekikhaya,
Ndabenkhul
uandLanga.They
accompanyingmeandIknowt heyjustwantt
i
shootatanyonewhot ri
essomething.
"
You'
reokay?
",LangaasksandIsmi
le.
"
Yeah.I
'
m good.
"
HenodsandIlookoutthewindowasmaskandi
bl
ast
sinthecarandIthinkI
'
llgetaheadache.They
st
opeMzimkhulutogobuysomef ood.
"Wecan'
tgot oanothermanshouseempt
y
handed.
",Ndabenkhuluhadsai
d.
Theycomebackandputever
ythi
ngint
hebackseat
.
Theysmokeout
sideandLangaopensmydoor.
"
Smoke?
"
Il
ookatt
heci
gar
ett
eandIr
ememberIhaven'
t
smokedi
nawhil
e.
"
No.
"
Hel ooksatmeandsmi l
esandIr eali
sehewas
testi
ngme.Mxm.Icl osemydoorandIj ustl i
stento
thissongt hat '
splaying.Idon'tunderstandhow
someonel istenstot hi
skindofmusi c.I
tsgivi ngme
aheadache.It akeoutmyear phonesandpl aysome
Kehlani.Isi ghandsi nkbacki nt
omychai r.Nowt hi
s
i
smusi c.Theygeti ntothecarandLangadr ivesoff
.
HeshakesmeandIopenmyeyeswhi l
eyawni ng.I
guessIf ellasleepal ongtheway.Il ookatt heyar d
wepar kedout sideofandt hei
ris2r ondavel sand
onemai nhouset hatdoesn'tl
ookt hatmuch.The
yardisempt yexcepttheoldmanwhoi ssitting
underat reeshade.Wegetoutoft hecarandI
almostt ri
pont hislongskirt
.Icli
ckmyt ongue.We
standatt hegat eandt heoldmanj ustlooksatus.
Langarai
seshishandandtheoldmanl ooksaway.
Suchrudeness.Agroupofboyspassi
ngbyl ookat
us.
"
Ishonii
zit
hakazel
ozakhe.
(sayhi
scl
annames.
)"
Wel ookattheboysandt heypass.Ndabenkhul
u
stepsforwardandtakesofhishatandholdsitwit
h
hiskneesal i
tt
lebentandhisbackbentabit
forward.
"Sosi
bo!Gema!Mshingi
la!Thusi
!Ncobeni
!Si
sacel
a
ukungena.
(pl
easel
etusin.)"
Theoldmanl i
ft
shishandupandscr eamsf or
someone.Amal ecomesoutandl ooksatus.He
walkstowardsusl i
kehissteppi
ngoneggs.Hehas
themeanistlookeverthatIseetheboyscastthei
r
eyesdownandhol dthei
rhatsti
ghter
.Heopenst he
gate.
"Ngenani
."
,hi
scol
dbar
it
onemakest
heboysj
ump
andenter
.
Istandabitandlookatwher
eIwil
lstepi
nside.
Somet hi
ngpushesmef or
wardandIwalkin.A
thunderstr
ucksi
nt heyar
dandever
yonejumps.A
bl
ackcobraemitsfr
om wher
ethethunderhas
str
uckanditr
aisesi
tsheadup.Langapushesme
backwar
dsbehindhim.
"Myekemfanangekei
menzelutho.
(l
eaveherboy.I
t
won'tdoanyt
hingt
oher.
)"
,theoldmansayssti
ll
seat
ed.
Itstartsrainingwi thwi ndandIshi eldmyeyesas
Langast andsnextt ome.Wher edidt hisraincome
from?Ihol dont oLangaast hewi ndal mostblows
meof fmyf eet.Thesnakecomest owar dsmeand
I'
m notscar edofsnakesact uallyIlovet hem buti
f
thisshi tbi
tesmeIam i nthemi ddleofnowher e
andI '
llbedeadwi thi
ng10mi nuteswi thout
ant i
venom.I tcir
clesitselfaroundmyl egandIf eel
adr opofpi ss.Ther ainstopsandt hehotweat heri
s
backl ikeitneverr ained.Ilookupt ot heskyandt he
suni soutagai nli
kei tneverrained.Ilookdownat
thesnakeandi tsnott hereandIswearIal most
faint.
"
Unyezi
.
Langai
scookt
ohol
dmeandl
if
tsmeup.I
'
m so
dizzyrightnow.Awomancomesoutwi thagrass
matandLangai sinst
ructedtolaymedownoni t
.
Thistreesshadeissocoolandcal ming.Ihear
voiceswhi sper
ingandIthinkI'
ml osingmymi nd.I
tr
ysi t
ti
ngupbuti tsli
keI'
m paralayzed.Theoldman
burnsincenseandci r
clesmewhi l
echant i
nghis
cl
annames.Thi sisnothowIt houghtthingswould
bedone.It houghtwe'dsitdownandI '
dsaymy
storyandt hey'
dfil
lmeini fIam t
heirsornot.
"Sowubuyil
endodakazi
.Sesi
zokukhusel
a.(
youback
daughter
.We'l
lprot
ectyou)"
Hepi
ckstwoleavesf
rom t
het
reeandgr
indst
hem
i
nthecal
abash.
"Ngabayenai
zanochef
uwenyoka.
(br
ingt
hesnake
poison.
)"
Snakepoison?IseeLangastepupand
Ndabenkhuluhol
dshim backshakinghishead.I
l
ookathim andheseest hef
earinmyeyesand
mouths'Il
oveyou.'
.TheguynamedNgabayena
comesbackwi t
hasmal lbot
tleofsnakepoisonand
Ithi
nkI'
l
lloseconsci
ousness.Theoldmanmi xesi
t
wit
htheleavesandheshakesi tar
oundt heburni
ng
i
ncense.Ngabayenaholdsmyheadupast heold
manmakesmedr inkthemixt
ure.I
ttasteslike
deat
h.Istar
tcoughingreal
lybadandwhatseems
l
ikebl
ackbloodcomesoutofmymout handt hey
makemevomi ti
nabucket.
"Khi
pa.Khi
pakonkeukuncol
akanyoko.
(t
akei
tout
.
Takeoutal
lyoumother
ssins.
)"
.
IgagandIvomi tonelastti
meandIf eell
ikemy
throatwil
lsnapinhalf.Ablackballi
fIdon'tknow
whatf al
lsint
othebucketandIl aybackagainwi t
h
tearsinmyeyes.If i
nall
yhavef ul
lcontr
olofmy
bodywhenIwi pemyt ears.Ngabayenasitsnextt
o
meandr ubshiseyes.
"Thul
andodana.Usebhuyi
le.(
don'
tcr
yson.She'
s
back.
)",
theol
dmansayssit t
ingdownagai
n.
Hiseyebrowsmeetonhi sglabel
lal
eavi
ngnospace.
Theyt hi
ckandbushy.Iguessthi
siswheremy
eyebrowscomef r
om.Irubonmyt hr
oatasIt
ry
tal
king.
"
Ungakhul
umi
.(
don'
ttal
k.)
"
Everyonecomesoutf rom t
hehouseandst and
aroundt het
reesmi l
ing.Ihearthewhisper
sagain
andIt ouchthetreeasonevoi cebecomesloud
fr
om them all.I
tsoneofaf emal e.
"
I'
mt r
appedUnyezi
!For
givemesoIcanbeone
wit
hmyowncl anagai
n."
Ir
emovemyhandsof
astl
ikeIj
ustgotbur
ned.
"
Unyezi
?"
Il
ookatNgabayena.Whatki
ndofnamei
sthat
?
"Bayi
nil
abaf
ananawe?
(whatar
etheseboyst
o
you?)
"
Boys?Inot
icehowt
heyt
ickt
hej
awsatt
hat
st
atement.
"Langai
smyfiance.Thosear
ehisbrother
s.They
helpedmef
indyou.",
Isaypoi
nti
ngatthem.
"
Ant
izabazel
eizi
hlal
o.(
bri
ngt
hem chai
rs.
)"
Ayounggi
rlr
unst
othehouseandcomesbackwi
th
chai
rs.
"
Ningahl
aliphansikomt
hunzi
.Ani
bona
balayikhaya.
(don'
tsi
tundert
heshade.Y'
al
lnot
family.)
"
Somymanhast obur
ninthesunbecauseofa
stupidt
reeshade?Thesepeopl
earecrazy.Langa
roll
shiseyesandtheysi
tdown.
"
Wewi llhaveyoucleansedtonightt
oremovet
he
f
inalcurseofyourmotherssins."
"
Whatdi
dshedo?
"
"
Toucht
het
reeagai
nandaskher
."
Askher?Iputmyhandagai
nonthetr
eeandthe
whisper
sstar
tbef
oreonevoi
cebecomescl
ear.
"
Unyezi
.Getmeoutofher
e."
"
Mbuzewenzani.I
gamal
akhsuNokuthul
a.(
askher
whatshedi
d.Hernamei
sNokuthul
a.)
"
"
Ma-Nokut
hul
awenzani
(whatdi
dyoudo)
?"
"Ngi
yaxoli
sa.Ngadli
sauGogowakhongobangi f
una
i
skhwamasakhesobunyanga. (
I'
m sor
ry.Ipoi
soned
yourgrandmotherbecauseIwant
edherhealer
bag.)
"
What
?Justaheal
erbag?Ihadtosuf
ferf
ort
hat
?I
r
emovethehandf
rom t
hetree.
"Yourgrandmotherwasahealer
.Chosenonet
o
protectt
hetree.Lookatt
het
ree"
Ilookupandt heleavesar
edryandfall
ingoffbut
theshadeisthatofahealthyt
ree.Whattheactual
fuck?IlookatNgabayenaandbackatthetreeand
theleavesaregreenandhealt
hyagain.
"Thetreeisdying.I
tcapt
uresthesoulsofourl
oved
onesandyourmot heri
strappedi
nsideaswell
.She
wasmar r
iedtome.Shewasher etostealt
hegif
t
from ourclansentbytheKinginSwazil
andsohe
cangi vei
ttohisson."
Thi
sisconf
usi
ng.
"I
tst ar
tswayback.We' r
eSwat i
.From avi l
lagein
Swazi l
andcal l
edNtabatet
su.We'reRoyal.My
mot her.Yourgrandmothersmotherhadt hegift.I
t
waspassedongener ati
ont ogenerat
ion.Shewas
fooledbyl oveandmar r
iedsomeonef rom our
enemycl an.Shegavehi mt het
hrone.Shef ell
pregnantandaf terbi
rt
hhehadki ll
edhersohecan
rulealone.Mymot herhadthegi ftpassedonher .
Shehadaccesst ot hebagwhenshewasofage.
Herf atherwanteditforhi
msel f.Hehadt riedtokill
hersosher an.Shemetmyf atherandhet ookher
herin.Shewasgi venaseed.Shepl anteditherein
thisyard.Thet r
eegr owi
ngast heonei nSwaziland
died.WhenImetyourmot herIt houghtitwasr eal.
Mymot herhadn'
tbeenwar nedabouther .Whenshe
waspr egnantwi thyoushef i
nallyhadt hegutst o..
."
Hepausesabi
tandr
ubshi
sface.
"Qhubekandodana.
(car
ryonson.
)"
,t
heol
dman
urgeshimtoconti
nue.
If
eell
ikeI'
mli
steni
ngtooneofthosef
ict
ional
st
ori
eskidsar
etoldbyel
dersar
oundabonf i
re.
"Whensheki ll
edhi m andtookthebag.Sher an
awaywhi lesti
llpregnantwithyou.Idon'tknowt he
storyabouthowyouendedupher ebutwhenwe
hadf el
tanothersoulenterthetreewehadl istened
tothevoiceandi twasyourmot her.Wecalleda
seerandshel etusi nthatmygr andmotherwas
angryandherf uryf el
luponyousi nceyourmot her
haddi ed.Wehadbeggedhert ol
eaveyoual onebut
shewasbl indedbyanger .Thegifthadbeenpassed
ontoyouandt hefactthatwhenyoucameofage
youdi dn'
ttakeyourresponsi bil
it
iesangeredher
wor se.Youstil
lhavetof i
ndt hebagandgett he
thronebackt ousagain.Ihavet r
iedeverythingbut
withoutyouourcl anwi l
ldieandt hethronewi l
l
carryonbei ngrul
edbyt hewr ongclan.Sosibo
Kingdom ar erunbywomen.I tisanabomi nationf
or
amant orulethekingdom. "
Ij
ustsitt
hereandl
ookatt
hemanwhoi
s
supposedl
ymydad.
"
Thisi
sajokeri
ght?Ijustcameheretobecleansed.
Getmyshi
tinorderandthanmarryLanga.
"
"I
fyoudon'tfi
ndthebagandbet heprotectorofthe
tr
ee.OurKingdom wil
lcarr
yondyingandyou' llbe
dyingwi
thit.That
'swhybadt hi
ngswillfol
lowyou.
Acknowledgeyourgif
t.Therestwi
llf
ollow."
Il
ookatLangaandhel ookslikeheisaboutt
o
st
andupandchopt hetr
eedown.Sowenotget ti
ng
ourhappi
lyeveraf
ter?Shiti
sstil
lgoi
ngtobetough
forus?AndI'
m Royal
ty?Mi
na?Unyezi
?Thi
shast
o
beaj oke!
"
Leaveher
.Wewi
llcl
eansehert
oni
ght
."
"
Wewon'
tbeabl
etol
eaveher
."
,Langaspeaksout
.
"You'r
enotmarri
edtoherandnol obol
ahasbeen
paid.She'
sourdaught
er.Leaveson."
Langachuckl
esandatt
emptst
osteali
nsi
det
he
shadewhensomethi
ngpusheshi
m back.
"
Langa!
"
Ist
andupandatt
endtohi
m.Ili
fthi
sshi
rtupandhe
hasaredhandmarkonhi
schest.
"
Shit
!Ithoughtourf
amilywasweirdwi
thallt
hei
r
t
radi
ti
onalstuf
fbutthi
s!"
,hesaysashegrunt
s.
"
Areyouokay?I
'
m sosor
ry.
"
"Leaveson.You'veanger
edmywi f
e.You'
renot
all
owedundert hetr
eeuntilyou'
remakeawifeof
ourdaughter.
"
Hestandsupandwal
ksawaywi
thhi
sbr
other
s
f
oll
owing.
"
Langa.
",Iwhi
sper
.
Het
urnsar
oundandhenot
icest
het
ear
sinmyeyes.
"
Don'
tleavepl
ease.
"
"I
'
m notl
eavi
ngyou.Wewillbei
nthecar
.I'
llhave
yourl
obol
apaidbyendofsundowntomorr
ow. "
Theywalkoutt
hegat
eandgetint
othecarandthey
parki
tacrosst
her
oad.Ij
ustst
andther
edefeat
ed
asmyheadspins.
"
Ohmot
herwhatdi
dyougetmei
nto.
",
Iwhi
sper
.
Coul
dn'tshehavefel
lpr
egnanti
ntoal
ess
compli
catedfamil
y?
"
Let
'sgeti
nsi
de.
"
IstandthereandLangal ooksatmst hr
oughthe
window.Pleasepaydowr yquick.Ineedyouonthis
crazyjour
neyI'm abouttotake.Andwhyar en'
tthey
bringi
nginthefoodt heybought ?
.
I
tsaf
ict
ionalst
oryaf
teral
l
28
UNYEZI
Ikeeponlookingoutthewindowandtheyst
ill
standi
ngthere.It
hinkit
sbeentwohoursofthem
standi
ngatthegateshouti
ngmycl annames.
"
Babangyakucel
a(dadpl
ease.
)"
Hej ustlooksatmeandsi psonhi stea.Myuncl es
areseat eddri
nki
ngal cohol.I
'vebeenbeggi nghim
toletthem inbutheai n'
tbudgingandmy
grandfatherissi
tt
ingundert hetreepretendingasif
hecan' tevenhearthem.Igotout sideandsi tnext
toMkhul u.
"
Mkhul
ungyakucel
a.(
please.
)"
"
Wewantal
ett
erf
ir
st.
"
Al
ett
er?
"
Howaboutanemai
l
?"
"
Emai
l?
"
"Okaymkhul
u.You'l
lchargethem ext
raf
ornot
bri
ngingt
helet
ter
.Please."
Hel
ooksatt
hem andl
ooksatme.
"
Doyoul
ovehi
m?"
Il
ookathi
m andnodt
hesmi
leonmyf
ace
i
nvol
untar
y.
"AlotMkhul
u.Langamakesmehappyandhe
support
sme."
"
Hasheeverhi
tyou?
"
"
Notevenonce.Her
espect
sme.
"
"
Hasheevercheat
ed?
"
"
No.
"
"
Doeshehaveki
ds?
"
"
Yes.Thr
ee.
"
"
Thr
ee?
!"
"Yeah.Twoar
enothisbutwet
aket
hem ast
heyour
own.OneImiscar
ri
ed."
Il
ookdownandhesi
ghs.
"Mywifewrongedyoumtanam.Shel
etangerbl
ind
hershefor
gotthatyouwer
eoneofourown.Just
l
ost.
"
"
Langahasbeenwi
thmeever
yst
epoft
heway.
"
"Y'
alll
over
emi
ndsmeofmi
neandNomvul
asl
ove.
Pure."
"
Youl
ovedherdi
dn'
tyou?
"
Hesmi
lesandput
sahandont
het
ree.
"
Ist
il
ldo.
"
HelooksatLangaasheget
soutoft
hecarand
t
alkstohi
suncle.
"Doest hatboyknowt hatyoucan'tt
akehis
surname?Youwi l
lbeaQueen?Thatyouwi l
lbea
healer?Wi l
lhewi thst
anddayswhenhewi llwakeup
withyouf ight
inginyourdr eams?Youwi l
lbemor e
power f
ulandr icher.Youwi l
lknowpartsofhim
evenhedoesn' tknow.Wi l
lhebecomf ort
ablewit
h
that?"
"Idon'
tknowMkhul
ubuti
fhel
ovesmeenoughhe'
l
l
bebymysi de.
"
Helooksatmeandnodsbeforest
andi
ngupand
headi
nginsi
dethehouse.Mydadcomesoutwi
th
myauntLugenganibehi
ndhi
m.
"
Unyezi
.Ngenaendl
ini
(geti
nsi
de)
."
Ifoll
owbehi ndmyauntaswewal ktother ondavel
andmycousi nsfoll
owbehindus.Ilookout sidethe
windowasDadt alkstothemenatt hegateand
theygivehim abot t
leofwhiskeyandmoney.He
takesitinsi
deandmyuncl ecomesoutandl et's
them in.ThankyouMkhul u!IwishIcanhearwhat '
s
goingonbutwear enotinthemai nhouse.Isi ton
topoft hebedandt akeoutmyphoneandcal l
Langa.
"
Mkami
."
"
Sthandwa.
"
"
Yourf
ami
lyi
sbr
utal
."
"
Ithi
nkbei
nghear
tl
essi
saf
ami
lyt
hing.
"
"
ThankGodIgott
heangel
."
Ismi
le.I
fonl
yyouknew.
"
Imi
ssyou.
"
"Idotooandmybodyhur
tsf
rom sl
eepi
ngi
nthe
car.
"
"
Sor
ry.Havey'
al
leat
en?
"
"Weatesomeoft
hebr
eadandpol
onywebought
yest
erday.
"
"
Ahkodwa.
"
"Pl
usIalmostdi
edyest
erday.Justbecauseof
shade?
!"
"
Uyaphaphanawe(
you'
real
sof
orwar
d.)
"
"
Mxai
.Ist
il
lhavechestpai
nsnamanj
e."
"
DramaLanga.Havet
heboyscal
led?
"
"
Yeah.Theyar
ri
vedsaf
e."
"
Ithoughtwewer
eget
ti
ngourhappyendi
ng.
"
"Wearebutnotnow.Ican'tbel
ieveyou'
reroyal
ty.I
haveamill
ionreadyforyourl
obolaincasethey
char
gemef orthattoo.
"
"
Ami
ll
ion?
"
"
Iwant
edtopayi
ndiamondsbuyNdabenkhul
usai
d
I
'
m bei
ngdramat
ic.
"
"
Vel
ehawu!
",Ndabenkhul
usvoi
cesaysont
heot
her
si
de.
"
Hewasright
.Di
amonds?You'
recr
azy!
",
Isay
l
aughi
ng.
"
I'
m ser
ious.Wai
t.Myuncl
ewant
stot
alkt
ome.
"
"
Okay.
"
Idr
opt hecal
landwesitt
her
eandI'm bi
ti
ngmy
nai
ls.Ihopet
heydon'
twantl
ivecows.

LANGALAKHE
Myuncl
ewal
ksupt
ousi
nthecar
.
"
Hehndodana.Kunzi
ma.
(son.I
tshar
d.)
"
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"Bayabuzaukuthiumt
hol
eeseyi
tchi
tchiyi
nj?
(they
askingifyouf
oundheravir
gin?
)"
Inodandmybr
other
slookatme.
"Theyal
sochar
gingusR2000f
ornorwr
it
ingal
ett
er
aler
ti
ngthem.
"
"
Payt
hem.Mal
ume.Gi
vet
hem what
evert
heywant
."
Henodsandwalksbacki
nsi
de.Mybr
other
slookat
mewithf
oldedarms.
"
What
?"
"
Avi
rgi
n?"
"Nobuttheydon'
thavet
ochar
gemel
esscauseof
pussy.
"
"Ihopetheywantli
vecowsandt
alki
nggoat
s."
,
Bhekikhayasays.
"
Nxaivoet
sekwena!
"
Hel
aughsandl
ight
saci
gar
ett
e.
"Umakotingowethu!Siyavuma!Ozosiwashel
a
asi
phekele!(
thewif
eisour s!She'l
ldoourl
aundr
y
andcookf orus.
)"
,Bhekikhayasings.
"
Cookf
orwenanabobani
?(youandwho?
)"
"Siyaj
ivasi
yumdeni
!(
wedanci
ngwef
ami
ly)
",
he
sings.
"
Thul
amahnBheki
.(
keepqui
etman.
)"
Hel
ooksatmeandl
aughs.
"
Mal
umei
scomi
ngoutagai
n."
Wewai
tformyuncl
eti
llher
eachesus.
"
Theyarechargi
ngyouR50000fort
hechil
dshe
l
ost.R10000yevul
amlomo.R60000forherlobol
a.
I
ntotali
tsR120000andwe'
renegot
iat
ingforat
l
eastR100000."
"
No.Don'tnegoti
ate.NoKhuzwayowi
fei
swor
th
R100000!She'sroyal
tyr
ight
?"
"
Yes.
"
"
Good.Tel
lthem you'
l
lpayR50000ext
raf
ort
he
f
utur
eQueen."
"
Mshana.
"
"
Payi
tMal
ume.
"
Henodsandgetbacki
nsi
de.
"
R220000?Udaki
wewena!
(youdr
unk!
)"
"
Waittil
lyoumeetyourchosenoneNdabenkhul
u.
I
'
llaccompanyyoutothebank."
Hel
ooksatmeandshr ugs.Iseethr
eegir
lsexi
ta
r
ondavelandIcan'
ttel
lUnyezii
stheoneinthe
mi
ddl
e.It
extmyuncl
e.
"
Theonewr
appedi
nar
edbl
anket
."
Iputmyphonebacki nmypocket.Idon'
tknowhow
manycigarett
esI'
vesmoked.Wehearululati
ons
andIsmile.She'
smine.Mybrot
herswhistleandwe
star
tdancing.
"
Wadl
aKhuzwayo!
"
Welaughandhugeachot
her
.Wesi
tint
hecarandI
cal
lher
.
"
Myeniwami
."
,hersof
tvoi
cecomest
hrough.
"Mkami
."
,Isaywhi
legr
inni
ng.
"
Whi
pped.
",
Bheki
khayacoughsout
.
"
Ever
ythi
ngwentwel
l.Howmuchdi
ditcost
?"
"
That
sformeandmyuncl est
oknowandyour
f
amil
ytonevert
ellyou.
"
"
Myauntsaregoi
ngonaboutavi
rgi
nit
ypr
ice.
What
'st
hatabout
?"
"
Idon'
tknowshame.
"
"
Okay.We'
redi
shi
ngupf
ory'
al
lnow.Il
oveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Idr
opt
hecal
lsmi
li
ng.Ndabenkhul
uget
sinsi
det
he
car
.
"
Dadsayshei
spr
oudofyou.
"
"
Itf
eel
sli
keadr
eam.
"
"
Whati
fiti
s",
Bheki
khayasays.
Iforgothowdumbt hi
sonecanbe.Hi m and
Khulekaniarei
diots.Wenot i
ceagirlcal
lingforus
andwegetoutoft hecarandwal ki
nside.She
dir
ectsusintoar ondavelandwesitthere.They
comewi thfoodandser veus.Ihavetodr ivehome
todayandI '
l
lonl
yseeUnyeziwhensheget sa
chancet ogototown.
"Whocooked?
",Bheki
khayaasksandNdabenkhul
u
ki
ckshi
m.
"
AuntUnyezi
."
Ismi
leandt
aket
hepl
ateandwedi
gin.
"
WhenyouandUnyeziar
eKi
ngAndQueencanI
movei
nwi
thy'
al
l?
"
Il
ookatBheki
khayaandr
aisemyf
uckyouf
ingerat
hi
m.
"
Uyi
bhar
iwena!
(youani
diot
.)
"
Helaughsandeat shisfood.Ismil
easIhearthe
ulul
ati
onsintheyard.She'salwaysbeenminebuti
t
feel
sdiff
erentnow.
29
UNYEZI
Everyoneisasl
eepnowanditslat
e.Iwalkoutas
soonasLangat ext
smethathisoutsi
de.Iam
sneakingoutli
kea15yearol
d.WhenIam aboutt o
nearthefencemyauntcomesoutofthet oi
let
.Shi
t!
"
Unyezi
?",
shewhi
sper
s.
"
Aunt
y."
"
Uyaphi
?(wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
)"
"
Etoi
let
?(t
othet
oil
et?
)"
"Wabuzamina?Uyaphi
?(youaski
ngme?Wher
ear
e
yougoi
ng?)
"
"
Angi
yindawo.
(I
'm notgoi
nganywher
e.)
"
"Ungangenzii
sli
mawengane.Ngizobiza
uyihl
o.(
don'tmakemeanidi
ot.I
'
llcallyourf
ather
.)
"
"
EishAunt
y."
"
Akusi
yimotoryamkhonyanel
eya?
(isn'
tthatourson
i
nlawscar?
)"
Il
ookdownandshel
aughsl
owl
y.
"Hamba.Ubuyebefor
ekuphumai
langa.
(go.Come
backbefor
esunri
se.)
"
Ismil
eandhugherbef oreshewalksinsidethe
house.InearthefenceasLangagetsoutoft hecar
.
Ihavetojumpsi nceIcan'topent
hegat ecause
Mkhuluwillhearit
.I'
m sureIcansti
llj
umpf ences.I
walkbackwardsabi t
.
"
Unyeziwenzanu?
(whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
)",
Langa
whi
spers.
Ii
gnor
ehi m andst
artr
unningandIst
eponthe
smal
lsteepofsandbefor
ej umpi
ngovermi
ssi
nga
st
epinmyl andi
ngandroll
ingont
othefl
oor
.
"
Shi
t!Unyezi
."
Langahelpsmeupandheget sthedustoffmy
dress.I
tssodarkouthere.Hewal ksmetowar
ds
thecarandhelpsmei n.It
hinkItwist
edsomet
hing.
Myf oothur
ts.Hestart
slaughingassoonashe
getsinthecarandIjoi
nhim.
"
Whatwer
eyout
hinki
ng?
",hesaysl
aughi
ng.
"Iusedtodot
hatwhenjwasaki
dbutt
hatwasan
epicfai
l.
"
Hel
aughshar
derandIpi
nchhi
m.
"Ouch!Truecol
oursavai
lyour
sel
f.Ial
waysknew
youwer eabusi
ve.
"
Ir
ollmyeyesandhel
aughs.
"
Youal
mostbr
okeal
egj
umpi
ngf
encesf
ordi
ck.
"
Il
aughandhejoinsme.Il
aughasIdoubl
eoverand
Inot
icehi
sst
aring.
"
What
?"
"
You'
rebeaut
if
ul.
"
Ismi
leandl
ookdownasIf
eelmycheeksgethot
.
"
Lookatme.
"
Il
if
tmyeyesandmeethi s.Themoonandocean.
Themooni sstr
awberryandtheoceancalm.I
missedt
his.Imissedhim.Iknowit'
sbeentwodays
wit
houtsl
eepingnexttohim butI
'
mj ustsousedt
o
i
t.
"
Youkno-
"
Icuthim offwit
hakissandherepl
iesandImoan
atthefeelofhisli
psonmine.Wepulloutandhe
putshisforeheadonmineandwest ar
eateach
other
seyes.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Jet
'
aime.
"
"
Huh?
"
"
WaahUnyezi
."
"
Hayii
siFr
enchesani
?(what
'st
heFr
enchf
or?
)"
"I
'
mt ryi
ngt
ober
omant
icher
e.Yousuchahood
gir
l.
"
"
HahLanga!
"
Hel
aughsandki
ssesme.
"
Ufunangi
thi
ni?Ngi
yakuvat
ela?
(whatdoyouwant
metosay?Il
oveyou?)"
"
Ngi
cwel
engawe.
(Il
oveyou)
"
Hel
aughsatme.
"
Whatdoyouknowaboutkasit
aal
?"
"Ngi
cavaezibaieNj
ayam.Ngi
khul
engibl
ome
emakoneni.
(Iknowalotmydawg.Igr
ewupchi
ll
ing
bythecorner.
)"
"Soveleuyayi
pushai
nombol
o?(
soyouspeakkasi
slang?
)"
"Ngi
yawuphakamisausevenamathekeninamaji
ta
sebayaziukut
hiugul
uvasekaf
iki
le.
(Icausehavoc.
Gir
lsandboysknowt hatt
heO.Ghasar r
ived.
)"
"
Sal
ut'
!
"(sal
ute)
"
Sal
ut'
lova.
(sakut
egangst
er.
)"
Hesmi
lesandwebumpf
ist
s.
"Ialwaysknewyouhadabitofgangsterinyou
sinceyoucutmycousinswif
e'scheek."
"
Me?Cutwho'
scheek?
"
Il
ookawayandhemakesmel
ookathi
m.
"Youknowexactl
ywhatI'
mt al
kingabout.Siyanda
i
swal ki
ngaroundwithascaronhercheekandshe
saysherchil
dscrat
chedbutIknowaknif ecut.I
alsoknewitwasyou."
"
Itwasn'
tmeshame.
"
"
You'
resur
e?"
"
Iswear
."
Henar
rowshi
seyesatmeandIl
ookar
oundt
hecar
.
"
Ifyousayso.
"
Ismi
leathi
m andst
artl
aughi
ng.
"
Don'
ttel
lmeyou'
vel
ostyourmi
ndnow.
"
"
Mxm.Iguessshel
i
stenedt
omeaf
teral
l.
"
Iknewi
t.Unyezi
."
"
What
?"
"
Ican'
tmar
ryyouanymor
e.You'
redanger
ous.
"
"Don'
tevent
hinkaboutl
eavi
ngme.I
'
llboi
lyour
ball
s."
"
Ah.Yousee?Iwantmymoneyback.
"
"
Khet
hil
ekhet
hil
e."(
You'
vechosen.
)
Hesmi
lesandki
ssesme.
"
Ichosewel
l.
"
Ismi
leandent
erwi
neourhands.
"
Youhaver
eal
lyugl
yfi
nger
sLanga.
"
"
Youdon'
tcompl
ainwhent
heyi
nsi
deyou.
"
Il
ookathi
m wi
thmymout
hopen.Langa!
"
Closeyourmout
hbef
oreIst
ickmydi
cki
nsi
deyour
mouth.
"
Ilaughandhejoi
nsme.Mystomachhur
tswi
thal
l
thelaughi
ngI
'vebeendoi
ng.
"
Yousonast
y."
"
Youl
ikei
t.
"
"
Idon'
t.I
'
m soi
nnocentandyou'
ver
uinedal
lthat
."
Hel
ooksatmeandl
aughs.
"
Wena?I
nnocent
?(You?
)"
Hel
aughsandIf
oldmyar
ms.
"
AhLanga!AhDeeperLanga!Fast
er!Yes!Yes!
Aaaah!
",hescr
eamsi
mitat
ingme.
"
Idon'
tsoundl
iket
hat
."
"
OhyesLanga!Godeeperpast
ordaddy!
"
"
Langauyabona?
(yousee!
)"
Hecarriesonimi
tat
ingme.Ij
umpcareful
lyt
othe
backseatwit
houthurt
ingmyal
readyi
njur
edfoot
.
Helooksatme.
"
Okay.I
'
m sor
ry.
",
hesaysst
il
llaughi
ng.
Hej
umpsnextt
ome.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
"
Mxm.
"
"
Look.
"
Ilookathi
m andhesmi
lescausi
ngmet
osmi
let
oo.
I'
m soweakthou.
"
Thatwast
ooeasy!
"
"
Whatwoul
dyouhavepr
efer
red?
"
Hesmi
lesandi
nchescl
osert
omyf
ace.
"
Woul
dyouhavepr
efer
redi
fIl
aidyoudown?
"
Hemoveshi
sfaceawayasI
'
minchi
ngcl
oser
.
"
IfIki
ssedyouhungr
il
y?"
Hespeaksnextt
omyearhi
sbreat
hebounci
ngof
f
myskincausi
ngmet
oshiver
.
"I
fIsneakedmyhandi nsi
deyourdr
essandr
ubbed
yourcl
itt
hroughyourpanti
es?
"
Heki
ssesmyneckandli
cksi
tbef
orebl
owi
ngcol
d
ai
ronitcausi
ngmybr
eathet
ohit
ch.
"
Andt henI
'
dt akethem of
f.I
'
dgetinbetweenyour
t
highsandinsertmysel
finsi
deyouslowly.
"
Icl
enchmyt
highsandhenot
icesandhemoves
away.
"
Ist
hathowyou'
dpr
eferi
t?"
Il
ookathi
m withmybr
eathequi
ckeni
ngasIst
art
i
magini
nghim doi
ngal
lthatt
ome.
"
Orwoul
dyoupr
eferIdoi
tli
ket
his?
"
Heki ssesmewi thhungerandIr epl
ywi t
hasmuch
hunger .Helaysmedowngent ly.Thankgoodness
hecamewi thanSUVsoi tsmor ecomf ort
able.Hi
s
handst artgoi
ngdownunt i
lheget situndermy
dress.Wher ehishandhastouchedf eelshotandhe
removesmypant yslowl
y.Herubshi sthumbonmy
cli
tandImoan.
"
Youl
iket
hat
?"
Idon'
tanswerandhest
ops.
"
Iaskedyouaquest
ion.
"
Inodf
ast"
Ido.
"
Hecar
ri
esonandput
shi
sindexf
ingeri
nandmoan.
"
Howdoest
hatmakeyouf
eel
?"
"
Good.
",Imoanout
.
Heinser
tshismiddl
efi
ngerandcur
lst
hem i
nsi
de
ofmewhi l
ehist
humbisplayi
ngwit
hmyclit
.
"
Howaboutt
hat
?"
"
Itf
eel
s..
.Itf
eel
s-Fuck!
"
Hepumpst
hem i
nsi
deofmeandhi
sst
il
lrubbi
ng
onmycl
it
.
"
AnswermeorIst
op.
"
"
Itf
eel
s..
.Goo.
..Good!
"
Heupshi
spaceImoanabi
tlouder
.
"
Fuck!Ahyes!
",
ImoanoutasIcum al
loverhi
s
f
inger
s.
Hetakest
hem outandl
ickst
hem whil
elooki
ngme
i
ntheeyesandmakesthat"mcah"soundandI
l
augh.
"
You'
resonast
y."
"
Yout
ast
egood.
"
Heki
ssesmeandli
ft
smet
osi
tont
opofhi
m.The
hoei
nmescreams.
"
Don'
tgett
ooexci
ted.
"
"
Okay.
"
Helower
shispant
sandKhuzwayospr
ingsoutand
Ismil
eli
cki
ngmylips.
"
Stopl
ooki
ngati
tli
keaki
dwhoj
ustr
ecei
ved
candy.
"
"
Ican'
thel
pit
."
"
You'
rewei
rd.
"
"
Andyoul
ovei
t.
"
Heput shi
slowerlipbetweenhisteet
handhi s
di
mpl esshow.Doeshehavet obethi
ssexy?He
helpsmeinserthimselfinme.Iputonehandont he
windowasIf eelhi
mi nme.Iputmyot herhandon
hi
st hi
ghbalancingmysel f
.Ist
artmovingslowly
andhegr i
psmywai st
.Hiseyesareclosedwi t
hhis
l
owerl i
pbetweenhisteethandhei sl
ooki ngup.I
moanashest ar
tsrubbingonmycl i
t.
"
MmmmhLanga.
"
Hetakesoutmyboobf rom mydressandstarts
sucki
ngmyni ppl
e.Iputmyhandonhi sshoulder
andstar
tmovingmywai standhel
ayshisheadon
myshoulder
.Hisgroanst urnmeonevenmor eand
Iupmypace.
"
FuckUnyezi
!"
HespanksmyassandIupmypace.Il
aymyhands
onhischest.Icl
enchmywallsar
oundhim asIcum
andIfeelhi
swar mthasheshoot
shissper
ms
i
nsideofme.
"
Fuck!
"
Hegri
psmybut
tcheekst
ight
erasheshoot
sthe
l
astofhi
m.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyou.
"
Heli
ftsmeupandtakeshi
mselfoutcausi
nghi
s
sper
mt odri
pout
.Hetakesatowelandwipesme.
Hepullshi
spant
supandIlayonhischest.
"
Ihavesomet
hingf
oryou.
"
Her
eachesf
orhi
spocket
.
"
Givemeyourhand.
"
Isitupst
raightandhetakesmylefthand.Heopens
upasmal lboxandar i
ngshinesunderthemoon.
It
sbeauti
ful.
"
It
sal
ateengagementr
ing.
"
"
Ilovei
t.
"
Heputsi
tsonandIl
ookati
tsmi
li
ngwi
tht
ear
sin
myeyes.
"
It
sbeaut
if
ul.I
tlooksexpensi
ve.
"
"
NomatterhowmuchmoneyIwast ei
tcannever
mat
chyourwor t
h.IfIwasaKl
ept
omaniacI
'
dsteal
t
hemoonf oryou.
"
"
LunarKl
ept
o.Themoonst
eal
er.
"
"
Themoonst
eal
er.
"
IlayonhischestandIlookatthemoonout sidet
he
window.It
sbeautif
ulasalways.Ismil
elookingat
thediamondringonmyf inger
.Sphi
woMommy
l
ovesDaddy.We' r
egett
ingmar ri
ed.

KUHLEKONKESI
LANGWE
Igetonthest ageandIci r
clearoundthepole.Ili
ft
myselfupont hepoleasmymi nderaseseveryone
aroundme.Ist ar
tmovingupt hepoleandIslide
downandl andwi t
hastretchandthecr owd
screamsthrowi ngmoney.Icar r
yondanci ngforan
hour.Icol
lectthemoneyont hestageandIwal koff
thestageassoonasPr incesswal
ksin.Igetint
o
thechangingroom counti
ngmymoneyandImade
quit
eabuck.Ichangei ntomyshortuni
form and
getbehindthebar.
"
Twof
ingervodka.4i
cecubes.
"
Ipourhi
m hi
sdr
inkandputi
tinf
rontofhi
m.
"
Youlookedreal
lygr
eatont
hatpol
e.I
'
llgi
veyoy
R2000foroneni
ght.
"
"
I'
m ast
ri
pper
.Notapr
ost
it
ute.
"
Imoveontothenextcust
omer.It
sabi tbusyont
he
pol
esidesoI
'm nott
oobusythisside.Twoguys
cal
lmeover.
"
Doubl
escot
ch.Noi
ce.
"
"
Same.
"
Inodandpourt
hem t
hei
rdr
inks.
"
What
'sapr
ett
ygi
rll
ikeyoudoi
ngher
e?"
"Thi
sisnotamovi e.Iwon'
tfal
linl
ovewit
hyouand
you'
llbemyknightinshini
ngarmour.Weli
ve
happil
yeveraf
ter.I'
m notCi
nderel
la.
"
Imovet oot
hercust
omer
sandser
vet
hem t
hei
r
dr
inks.Theycal
lmeagai
n.
"
Ref
il
l.
"
Ipourthem thei
rrefi
ll
sandt heotherguyi slooking
atthepolesecti
on.Het urnsaroundandoureyes
meetwhenhet akeshisdrink.Hiseyeshavest ars
i
nt hem.Ialmostdropt hebottl
esoIputi tont he
counter
.Ican'tmovemyeyesawayf rom his.Ilook
attheotherguyandhi seyesar enormal.Iturnto
theali
enagainandt hestarsarestil
lther
e.I'm
l
osingmymi nd.
"
Areyouokay?
"
Ijumpatthesoundofhi
svoi
ce.I
tssodeepand
refr
eshi
ng.I
'mlosi
ngit
.
"
Yeah.
..Yeah.
"
Hesmi l
esanddimpl esshowonthesideofhisface
andIkeepsteadywi thmyhandont hecount
eras
mykneesgetweak.Hemustbeanal i
en.Hehas
starsi
nhiseyes.Ihurryt
othenextcustomer.I
servepeopl
eavoidingtheal
iendudeseyes.
"
Ref
il
l.
"
Ir
efi
ll
thei
rgl
asses.
"
Yougoodont
hepol
e."
"
Thankyou.
"
"
Bheki
khayaKhuzwayo.
"
"
Kuhl
ekonkeSi
langwe.
"
"
Thi
sismyst
upi
dbr
otherKhul
ekani
."
"
Nicet
omeety'
al
l.
"
"
Sameher
e."
Iservepeopl
ewhenKhul
ekaniasksf
oragl
assof
water.
"Youhavebeaut
if
uleyes.
",
Isayr
andoml
yand
Bheki
khayasmil
es.
"
Thankyou.I
tsj
ustr
egul
arbr
owneyest
hou.
"
"No.Youhavet
hesest
arsi
nthem.They'
re
beauti
ful
."
Helooksatmeandthanhi
sbr
other
.Theygi
veeach
ot
herknowingl
ooks.
"
ThankyouKuhl
e."
IsmileasImovear oundthecount er.Myf eetar e
kil
li
ngmeandIhave30mi nutesleftti
llknockof f
ti
me.Thet woKhuzwayobr ot
hersseent obehavi ng
aseriousconversat
ionandIbetyoui t
saboutme
bythewayt heykeeplookingatme.Ishr ugitoff
andhandovermydut i
estoNat asha.Iheadt othe
changingroom andgetoutoft heseheel sand
clot
hes.Iwearmyj eanandover sizedhoodie.I
wearmyal lstar
sandgr abmymoneyImade
toni
ght.IwalkoutandIwai tf
ormyuberout side.
"
Kuhl
e!"
It
urnar
oundandI
'
m metbyst
arsagai
n.
"
Hey.Uhm.Iwasaboutt
odr
ivehome.Wantal
if
t?"
"
No.I
'
mfi
ne.
"
"
Comeon.
"
"
Whati
fyou'
reamur
der
er?
"
Hewal
ksandl
aughs.
"
I'
llmur
deryouaswego.
"
Ilaughandf oll
owhim.Icheckmypocketandmy
pocketknif
ei sther
e.Heopenst hedoorformeand
Igetinabsorbingthewar mt
hoft hecarand
comf or
tabl
enessoft heseat
s.Heget sinandst
art
s
theenginethecarroaringasitcomestolif
e.
"
Wher
edoyoust
ay?
"
"
Eml
azi
."
Henodsandst
art
sdr
ivi
ng.
"
Wher
e'syourbr
other
?"
"
Hesai
dhewasst ayi
ngbehi
nd.Hedi
dn'
tcome
wit
hmeanyway.
"
Inodandl
ookoutt
hewi
ndowl
ooki
ngatt
hest
ars.
"
You'
rebeaut
if
ul.
"
"
Thanks.
",Ismi
leatt
hecompl
iment
.
"
CanIseeyouagai
n?"
"
Uhm.
..
"
"
Please.Youseem l
ikeani
ceper
son.
"
"
OhbutI
'
m al
wayswor
king.
"
"
Wheneveryou'
ref
ree.Cal
lme.Putyournumberon
myphone.
"
Itaket
hephoneandopenit.Hedoesn'
thavea
password.Isavemynumbersandputhisphone
downagain.
"
Thankyou.
"
"
Forwhat
?"
"
Yournumber
s."
"
It
sokay.
"
Wesitinsi
lencet
il
lwedrivei
neMlaziandIst
art
di
rect
inghi
m.HereIam beingdri
venhomebya
st
rangerwi
thstar
sforeyes.I
tsbeenaweirdday.
30
KUHLEKONKE
Ihadwokenupt opr
eparemyli
tt
lesist
erforschool
andIgotbacktobedwhenshewasgone.Iwor k
ni
ghtshift
sthi
sweeksoIgettosl
eepthewhol e
daytil
lIhavet
owakeupandgot owork.Ispillt
he
di
rtywaterIwasbi
rt
hingwit
handgotdr essed.Iam
goingbacktobedsi
nceIhavenothi
ngtodo.My
phoneri
ngsasIgetundert
heblanket
s.I
tsan
unknownnumbersoIanswerandkeepquiet
.
"
Kuhl
ekonke?
"
Idon'
trecogni
set
hevoi
ce.
"
Ufunwaubani
?(who'
slooki
ngf
orher
?)"
"
Bheki
khayaKhuzwayof
rom l
astni
ght
."
"
Ohyou.
"
"
Yesme.CanIseeyou?
"
Ithoughtt
hisguywouldforgetaboutmeandwe'
d
bothmoveonwi thourl
ives.
"Ican'
t.I
'
m si
ck.
",
Idon'
tevent
ryt
omaket
hesound
convinci
ng.
"
Unamanga.I
'
m out
side.
(you'
rel
ying)
"
Isi
tupst
rai
ght
.
"
What
?"
"
Ngi
ngaphandl
e.(
I'
m out
side.
)"
"
Ican'
tgoout
.I'
m si
ck.
",
Isayf
aki
ngacough.
"
Okay.I
'
m comi
ngi
n."
What?!Isthisguycrazy?!Youdon'tjustforce
your
selfintosomeone'slif
e.Ishouldn'tevenhave
showedhi m whereIli
ved!
"
No!Youcan'
t-
"
Hedr opsthecallandIquickl
ygetoutofbed
checkinghowIl ookinthemirrorandf i
xingmyhai
r.
Whyam Ievenwor ri
edabouthowIl ook?ImeanI
dontevenlikethisguy.IhearthedooropenandI
j
umpbacki ntobed.Didhejustbar gein?!OhGod!
WhathaveIgot tenmyselfinto?!Istar
tcoughi
ng
andsneezing.
"
Kuhl
e!"
Hisapsychopath!Whatifhi
sanalienandhewants
toeatmybrain?IfIpr
etendI'
m si
ckI'
m sur
ehe
won'tsuckmybr ai
n.HewalksinasIcoughreal
ly
hardandIwinceatthepaininmychest.
"
Thatsoundsr
eal
lybad.
"
"
Youcan'
tbar
gei
ntosomeone'
shousel
iket
his!
"
"
I'
m sor
rybutyoul
yingandt
ryi
ngt
ogetr
idofme.
"
Ir
ollmyeyesashesi
tsont
hebedandsmi
lesl
ike
anidi
ot.Thi
shastobet hemostweirdestposit
ion
I'
vebeenin.Whatdoesthisguywantfrom me?I '
m
j
usttryi
ngtogetmylit
tl
esi st
erandIthroughschool
.
"
Cutt
heact
."
Istopcoughingandhel ooksatme.Thestar
s
shini
ngbrightert
odaythantheywereyest
erday.I
sti
llt
hinkhisanalien.
"
Youneedt
oleave.
"
Hi
ssmi
lef
adesandhef
urr
owshi
sbr
ows.
"
I'
mjustt
ryi
ngt
ogett
oknowyou.
"
"There'
snothi
ngt
oknow.Iappr
eci
atet
hel
if
tlast
nightbutpl
easel
eave.
"
Hest
andsupandheput
shishandsinhispocket
s.
Hel
ooksdownatmeandInot
icehisjawti
ck.
"Kuhlekonke.Iam notgoi
ngtobegyou.Youhave
mynumber s.Whenyouf i
nal
lyst
opthi
nkingyour
cli
tismadeofgol dyouhavemynumber s."
Hewal ksoutwit
hhi
snosefl
aredandbangsthe
door.Didhejust
?Nohedi
dn't
!Noway!Ilaughand
fol
lowhim.
"
Bheki
khayar
ight
?"
Hest
opsopeni
ngt
hegat
eandt
urnsar
oundsl
owl
y.
"Li
stentome.Verycarefull
y.Youdon'tcomei nto
myhouseuni nvi
tedandinsultme.I'
llstabyour
fuckeneyeout.I
fyoutryingtogetaf r
eef ucksorr
yI
maybeast ri
pperbutI'
m nopr ost
it
ute.Whodoyou
eventhi
nkyouar e?"
Helooksatmeandchuckl
esbuthi
snotamusedat
al
l.
"
IfyouweremygirlI
'df
ucksomerespecti
ntoyou.
I
fIwantedtof
uckyoutrustmeyou'
dbeunderme
r
ightnowmoaning."
IcrossmyarmsundermyboobsandInot
icehi
s
eyesgother
e.Somuchfor"
ifIwant
edtof
uck
you..
."
"NowlookKuhlekonkeI
'm ani
ceguy.Idon'tknow
yourr
easonsofbeingsoclosedoffbutthat
shoul
dn'tbeanexcusetoberude.I'
m nottr
yingt
o
geti
ntoyourpants.Yet
."
Heopenst
hegat
eandst
epoutcl
osi
ngi
tbehi
nd
him andIwatchhi m getintohiscaranddr i
vesoff.
I'
veneverbeensospeechl essinmyl i
fe.Istand
againstt
hewal lsti
llshocked.Igetbackinsideand
sitonthebed.MaybeIwasabi trudeandIl eta
cuteguywalkout .Butfuckhissexyass.Ther ear
e
otherhotguys.IvideocallNoxoloandsheanswer s.
Thisonealwaysl ooksbeaut i
ful
.
"
Sthandwa.
"
Ismi
leandInot
iceshe'
sdr
inki
ngwi
ne.
"
Alcohol
ict
endenci
es.OnaMonday?
!"
"
I'
mt hir
sty!I
nmorewayst
hanone.
",shesays
l
aughingandIjoi
nher
.
"
Whathappenedt
oVusi
?"
"Hi
smarri
edmgani!Hiswifecal
ledmeswear i
ngat
me.Youknowmeanddr amadon' tgetal
ong.I
apol
ogi
zedandcuttheniggaoff
."
"
Whyam Ionl
yhear
ingaboutt
hisnow?
"
"
I'
vebeenbusywi
thwor
k."
"
How'
sthatgoi
ng?MsBaker
yOwner
."
"
Great
.Iam gett
ingalotofor
der
sfr
om housewi
ves
f
oreveryeventt
heythrow.
"
"
Thati
sgr
eatbabe.
"
"
Thatof
ferst
il
lst
andsKonke.
"
"IknowbutIappl
iedonl
inet
ovar
iousl
awf
ir
msand
Ihavehope.
"
"
You'
l
lfi
nal
lygetoutoft
hatcl
ub.
"
"
Don'
tjudge.
"
"YouknowI'
m not
.You'
rewaytoosmar
ttobeata
str
ipcl
ub.Iwantt
oseeyouincour
t.
"
"
Ijustwi
shIgetonel
awf
ir
mtot
akeme.
"
"
YoushouldsendyourCVtoKhuzwayoLawAnd
Order
.They'r
eabi
glawfi
rm.You'dmakesome
moneythere.
"
"NoNox.Idon'
twanttogetaheadofmyself.The
l
ikesofKhuzwayolawyersdon'
tevenupincourt
.
Everyonei
sscarefofgoi
ngagainstt
hem.I'
m not
thatgood.
"
"
Whydoyout
akeyour
sel
fforapoes?
"(Pussy)
"
Ijustknowmyl
imi
tandi
tswaybel
owKhuzwayo'
s
l
awf i
rm."
Shef
acepal
msher
sel
fandgul
pshergl
assofwi
ne.
"I'
m comingoverwit
hwine.Wegoingtodri
nk.Get
drunk.Calli
nsickf
oryourshi
ft
.SendyourCVto
KhuzwayoLawAndOr derandwe'l
lwakeup
tomorrowwi t
hahangoverawait
ingarepl
y."
"
Ineedsomewi
ne.Br
ingt
wobot
tl
es.
"
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"
Itur
neddownaver
yhothunkt
oday.
"
Shescr
eamsatme.
"
What
?!I
'
m comi
ngt
her
e!"
Shedr opsthecallandIlaugh.Noxoloiscrazy.We
metatt hestr
ipclub.Shewasmyment orand
taughtmet heropesorshouldIsaypol es.Shewas
thefi
rstpersonIletinandcriedto.Sheisagr eat
bakerandshet ookashor tbusinesscourseand
shehadsavedupsomemoneyt oopenupherown
regi
steredbakeryintownandshe' sbeent r
yingto
getmet owor kforherbutI'
m notmeantf orthe
kit
chen.I'm adancerandagr aduat
edl awstudent
.
Theonlyeat ablethingIcanmakeconsi st
sof
noodlesandanomel et
.Myt eenagesisteri
stheone
thatcooksIj ustbuygroceri
es.Isti
llt
reatherli
kea
kidevent houghshe' s15.She'l
lal
waysbemybaby.
She'sallIhavel ef
t.

UNYEZI
Theal
arm onLangasphonewakesusup.I
tsst
il
la
bi
tdarkoutsi
deandmyanklei
sswoll
enandpainf
ul.
Ipopgum i
ntomymout h.
"
Mybackhur
ts.
",
Langawhi
nes.
"
I'
dgiveyouamassagebuti
tsl
ate.Canyouhel
p
mejump?"
"
Your
eal
lyhur
t.I
'
llf
etchyoul
atersoIcant
akeyou
t
oadoct
or.
"
"
Okay.
"
Heki
ssesmeandIsmi
lei
ntot
heki
ss.
"Pl
easedon'
tmenti
onmynamet oyourf
atherwhen
heaskswhathappenedt
oyou.Youknowhe
doesn'
tli
keme.
"
"Heli
kesyou.Aunt
ysayst
heSosi
bomenar
eal
l
natur
all
ymean."
"
Hehasoneoft
hose'
I
'l
lki
llyou'
looks.
"
"
Asi
fyou'
dlethi
m."
"
Iwould.Can'
tsayt
hesamef
ormybr
other
sand
f
ather
."
"
Poort
aima.
(dad)
"
"
Sowhenar
ewegoi
ngbackt
oDur
ban?
"
"
Myl
eaveendsnextweek.
"
"
Kambeyouhavewor
k."
"
Imi
ssedwor
k.Iam al
soappl
ying.
"
"
Forwhat
?"
"
Psychol
ogy.
"
"
Real
ly?
"
"
Yes.Iwantt
ohel
ppeopl
e."
"
I'
m pr
oud.
"
"
Iloveyouandappr
eci
ateyoursuppor
t.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.Ipr
omi
sed.
"
Wekissandgetoutofthecar .Helift
smeupand
hel
psmeoverthefence.Ikisshi m andlimpback
i
nside.Hewat
chesmegeti nsidethehouse.Iget
i
nsideandmyauntisalreadyupdr i
nkingtea.
"Besengi
thiawusabuyi
!"(
Ithoughtyouwer
en'
t
comingback.)
"
Haaunt
ie.
"
Il
impt
othecouchnextt
oher
.
"
Whathappenedt
oyourankl
e?"
"
Ifel
lwhi
lej
umpi
ngt
hef
ence.
"
"Ukuni
kakamnandiboumkwenyana.Songaze
uli
malel
eisende?(
oursoninlawmustbegivi
ngitt
o
yougood.Your at
hergethur
tbecauseofdi
ck?)
"
"
Aunt
y!"
,Isayl
aughi
ng.
"Angikuxeki
.Hambauyogezaunukaucansiphu!
(I
'm
notjudging.Gobat
h.Yousmellofsex.
)"
Il
aughandst
andupl
impi
ngt
omyr
oom.I
ts
actual l
ymyf at her'sbuthesai dhewi llsleepwi th
Mkhul uinhisr ondavel .Aunt yi swayt oobl antI
thinkshaki ngmyheadasIt aket hehotwat ershe
boiledf orme.Ist r
ipnakedandIr emembert he
activit
iesofl astni ght .Il ookatt heringandsmi l
e
whi l
eput ti
ngahandonmychest .Af t
ert akinga
bat hIdomymor ningr itual.Ili
ghtt hei ncenseand
candl esandst ar tsayi ngmycl annames.If eel
presencesi nt her oom.If eelthehai rsonmyneck
standupandIst i
llhaven' tgottenusedt oit.Dad
suggest edt hatngi phahl e(consul twi t
hmy
ancest ors)ever ymor ningsot heycanl ightmy
j
our ney.Ist artt hankingt hem f orLangaandIt ell
mygr andmot herIf orgi veherandIf eelwet nesson
myshoul der .Iwi pei tandi t
swet .Ilookupand
there'snosi gnofwat er .Ilookatt hecandl esas
theygl owbr ight er.IknowGogo.Ngyakuxol ela.(
I
forgiveyou. )

BHEKI
KHAYA
Iam parkedoutsi
deherpl
aceforthesecondti
me
todayandI'm smoki
ngmycigaret
te.Iwentt
oher
wor kplaceandt heysai dshedi dn' tcomei ntoday.I
getoutoft hecarandIst andatt hegat eforawhi l
e.
Weexchangedwor dsear lieronandIknowIshoul d
stayawaybutsomet hingkeepspul l
ingmebackt o
her .Shemaybet heoneI 'vebeenl ookingf or.I
haven' tevent ol
dmybr other saboutheryetonl y
Khul ekaniandThandoknowsabouther .Thando
saidgi rl
slikeitwhenyoupestt hem butwhatofshe
hat esit.Istompont heci gar etteasIopent hegat e.
Iwal kinsidet heyar dandIst andi nf rontofthedoor .
Ther ear evoicesinside.Al lfemi nine.Fucki t
!Ifshe
tal
kst rashagai nI '
mf uckingsomesensei ntoher .
Imagesofheront hatpol eyest erdayf l
ashinmy
mi ndandIshaket hem away.I fshe' st heonet han
she' sgottaqui t
.Nogr oupofmenwi llgapeandget
erect i
okovermywoman.If inallydeci detoknock.
"
Comei
n!"
,avoi
ceyel
lsi
nsi
de.
Iopent
hedoorsl
owl
yandwalkinsidesl
owly.I
have6eyesonmeassoonasIclosethedoor
behi
ndme.
"
Sani
bona.
(hel
lo)
"
Theyallkeepquietandjuststar
eatme.I
'
m usedto
thi
sreacti
onfrom ladi
es.Ikeepmyeyesontheonly
twopairsofeyesthatmaybel ongt
omyfuturewi
fe.
"
Ah.Bheki
khaya?
"
"
Yeah.IthoughtImi
ghtcomebackandt
alkabout
whathappenedearl
ier
."
Shestandsupandshebal
ancesher
selfonthe
coach.Inot
icet
hebot
tl
esofwineonthetabl
e.
"
Sisi
.I'
m goi
ngt
osl
eep.
",
ayounggi
rlsays.
"
Uhokaysweet
y."
Thegi
rl
sgoest
ooneoft
het
wor
ooms.
"
Uh.
..Noxol
othi
sisBheki
khaya.
"
Thegi
rlont
hef
loorsmi
les.
"
I'
vehear
dal
otaboutyou.
"
Il
ookatKuhl
eandshelooksatthegi
rli
ntr
oduced
asNoxol
o.Soshe'
sbeental
kingaboutme?Good.
"
Wecant
alki
nmyr
oom.
"
"
Alr
eady?That
hagi
rl
."
,t
hegi
rlcal
ledNoxol
osays.
Il
aughatt hatandKuhl ewalkstoherroom.Shei s
dressedinshor t
sandspor t
'sbraanddamnshe' s
gotmeanassl egs.IstareatherassandIf eelthe
l
itt
lemandownt heregetexcit
ed.Nowi snotthe
perfectt
imef oraboner .Shesitsonherbedl i
kea
ki
dwi thherlegscr ossedandIcan'thelpbut
i
magi nethear oundmywai stasIstr
okeintoher .I
canseeherpussypr i
ntandbr osmamigoti tt
hick!
"
Khaya!
"
Ist
opst
ari
ngandshet
akesapi
ll
owandhi
desaway
mygoodvi
ew.Damn!
"
Tal
k."
"
Aboutear
li
er.Youdon'
thavet
oapol
ogi
se.
"
Shelooksatmeli
keI
'vegrownadi
ckonmyhead.
DidIsaysomet
hingwrong?
"
What
?"
"You'
retheonethati
nsul
tedme.Bar
gedi
ntomy
house.Youshouldapol
ogise.
"
"
Me?
"
Shel
ooksatatme.
"
Okay.Uhm.
..Sor
ry?
"
"
You'
ref
ucki
ngwi
thmer
ightnow.
"
"
Iwon'
tmi
ndr
eal
ly.
"
"
Khayal
ist
en-
"
"
Sssh.
"
Iputmyf
ingeronhermout
h.
"
Sayi
tagai
n."
"
Saywhat
?Removeyourf
ingerf
rom myl
ips!
"
"
Sayi
tagai
n.Pl
ease.
"
"
Khayamahn!
"
Ir
emovemyf
ingerandsmi
le.
"
Sayi
tmor
egent
le.Act
ual
lymoani
tout
."
Shel
ooksatmeandIstar
eint
ohereyes.The
at
mospher
ethi
ckens.
"
Sayi
t.
"
Ipul
lherl
egsandgeti
nbet
weent
hem.Idr
yhump
her.
"
Khaya.
",shemoansi
t.
It
hinkthi
sist
heperf
ectmoanI '
veeverheard.Iget
of
fherashardasiti
s.Dadtaughtmepatience.Isi
t
whereIwasseat
edandshesi t
supstrai
ght.Ibit
e
mylowerli
passhetakesbr
eathsandherboobs
moveupanddown.
"
Idon'
twanttotakeadvant
ageofyou.You'
redr
unk.
I
'
llcomebacktomorrowekseni
.(
int
hemor ni
ng.
)"
Ist
andupandf
ixmyboner
.
"
Wai
t.
"
Ist
oponmyst
eps.Il
ookatherandshel
ooksatme.
"
Nevermi
nd.Tomor
row.
"
Ismi
leandwal
kout
.
"
ByeNoxol
o."
"
Ciao.
"
Iwal
koutandassoonasIgeti
ntot
hecarIhi
tthe
st
eer
ingwheel
.
"
Fuck!
"
Idr
iveoffwi
thaboner
.IguessI
'
llbeDSTVt
oday.
Sel
fservi
ce.
31
LANGALAKHE
Iparkacr osst her oadt extUnyeziI
'
m outside.Her
grandfatheri ssitt
ingundert heshadeasusual .I'
m
nevernear ingt hattreeeveragain.Thisfamilyi
s
weirdandver yr ude.IseeUnyezi kneelnexttoher
grandfather .Weusual lyt al
kforhoursandat00:00
wepr ayt hanwet alktil
loneofusf all
sasleep.Her
auntscomesoutoft hehouseandwal kstowards
thegate.Shest andsbyt hegatewithherhandson
herwai standshout sf orme.
"
Mkhwenyana!
(soni
nlaw)
"
Igetoutoft
hecarandwal
ktowar
dsher
.It
akeout
myhatandwr i
ngiti
nmyhands.
"
Sawubonaaunt
i(
hel
loaunt
y).
"
"
Wangasangeni
?(whyar
en'
tyoucomi
ngi
n?)
"
"Ei
shauntiuyaziangamuleki
le.Bengisacel
a
uUnyezingi
muyi sekadokotela.
(youknowI '
m not
welcome.Ij
ustwantUnyeziIwantt
otakehert
othe
doctor
.)
"
"
Hayiwena!Sowul
ikhokhel
il
eikhekhel
akhe.Ngena.
(
Noman!You'vepaidforhervagi
na.Comein.)
"
Ienterthegateandshewalksustowardsthetr
ee.
Ifthattreeget
soffit
'sr
ootandhit
smewi t
hit'
s
branchesI '
m cut
ti
ngitdown!Ismi
leatUnyezi
and
shel ooksdown.
"
Sawubonamkhul
u.Unyezi
."
(heygr
andpa.
)"
"
Yebondodana.
(heyson)
"
Unyezisauntgetsmeachai randIsi
tamet r
eaway
fr
om theshade.Idon'twantanymist
akes.Inot
ice
Unyezilaughbehindherj
acket.
"Besengi
weol
ukhul
ungawe.
"(I
'
vehear
dal
otabout
you.)
"
Ihopei
tsonl
ygood.
"
"
Yes.Toogoodt
obet
rue.
"
Heput
shiselbowonhi skneeandpoint
satme.
Thi
sguyseyebrowsorshouldIsayeyebrowcause
i
tsj
ustonestr
aightl
ineissothi
ck.I
tsli
kehismini
hai
r.
"You'veprovenyourl
ovetomydaughteryester
day.
Irespectyou.YoupaidalotofmoneyforherandI
hopeyoudon' tthi
nkyouownher."
"
No.Notatal
l.Iwasn'
tbuyi
ngher
."
"Good.Westil
lhavealottotal
kaboutsonbutt
his
oneneedstogot othedoctorsi
nceshejumps
fencesatni
ght.
"
IcoughandUnyezipr
etendst
onothearhi
m.
"
Jumpsf
ences?
"
"
Iknow.Thi
sismyyard.Icanhearevenwhen
t
here'
sananti
ntheyard.
"
Hesqui
ntshi
seyesatusandIcastmyeyesdown.
"Kodwaakusenani.Hambani.WenaUnyezi uyeke
ukuzenzauJackieChina!
"(Butthenit
snotmuchof
abigdeal.Leave.YouUnyezi.Stoppret
endi
ngtobe
Jacki
eChan. )
Il
aughandUnyezishoot
smeadeat
hgl
areandI
chokeonmylaughter
.
"
Jacki
eChanMkhul
u!"
"
Oksal
ayoungi
thol
il
e."(
Asl
ongyougotme.
)
Shel
impsoutoft
heshadeandIonl
yli
ftherup
whenit
ssaf
e.
"
Sal
ekahl
emkhul
u."(
Bye.
)
HewavesandIwal ktothecarwit
hherinmyarms.
She'sheavierthanusual
.Shemustbelovether
ural
l
ife.Iputherinthecargent
lyandIjumpint
omy
seat.
"
You'
reokay?
"
"
Yes.
"
Ismi
leandl
eanovert
oki
ssher
.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyouwaymor
e."
Istarttheengi
neanddr i
vethroughthedusty
streetswithUnyezisl
eepi
ng.Shemustbet i
red.We
har dl
ysleptl
astnight
.Ipar
kout si
deDr.
Singh'
s
practiceandopenherdoorandwakeherup.
"
Sthandwasami
.(
myl
ove)
"
Sheopenshereyes.
"
Ses'
fi
kil
e?"(
We'
vear
ri
ved?
)
"
Yeah.Woza.
"(
come.
)
Ipi
ckherupandwewal ki
nsi
de.It
snotful
lwear
e
act
uall
ythi
rdinli
ne.Peopl
eoptfortr
adi
ti
onal
medici
nearoundhere.
"
Isi
tpai
nful
?"
"
WhenIst
eponi
thar
d."
"
Kar
ateKi
d."
,Isayl
aughi
ng.
"KodwaLanga!Uyazi
bona?
!"(
ButLanga!Yousee
yoursel
f?!
)
"Okaysorr
yThongPo.
",
Il
aughhar
derandshe
smiles.
"
Uyabhor
ashame.
(you'
rebor
ing.
)"
Ismi
leandki
sshercheek.Ipl
aywi
thhercheeksas
shei
sonherphone.
"
Langa!
"
"
What
?"
"
Stoppul
li
ngmycheeks!
"
"
Okay.
"
Istartpl
ayi
ngwi
thherhai
r.I
tssof
luf
fy.Ir
ubher
scalpandshemoans.
"
HayiUnyezi
."
"
Car
ryon.
"
Icar
ryonandt heladynextt
ousisl ooki
ngatus
l
ikewe'
rei
diots.Idon'
tcareI'
m gi
vingmywomana
headmassage.
"
Ouch!
"
"
Sor
ry.Youhai
rgotcaughtuponmywat
ch.
"
"
Ngyeke.
"(Leavemeal
one)
Iputmyhandaroundhershoul
derandputmyhand
i
nsideherdr
essandplaywit
hherboob.
"
Ouch!
"
"
What
?"
"
Myboobsar
epai
nful
.Dontsqueezet
hem.
"
Inodandst
artpul
li
ngherear
.She'
sonherphone.
I
nst
agr
am t
obepr
eci
se.
"
Howcomeyoudon'
thavei
nst
agr
am?
"
"
I'
m busymaki
ngmoneyf
orpost
ingpi
ctur
esf
or
f
oll
owers.
"
"
But
-"
"Don'
ttr
yconvi
nci
ngme.Postonmybehal
fonyour
page.
"
"You'
resuchabor
e.Bengizopol
angawe.
"(Iwas
gonnasecuret
hebagwithyou.)
"I
'
m alreadymaki
ngmoneyever
ysecond.I
'
m not
greedy.
"
"
Iam.
"
"Soyou'dli
kei
tifwomenmast
urbat
edt
omy
pict
ures?"
"
Act
ual
lyyou'
ref
inewi
thoutI
nst
a."
"
Yousee-
"
"
UnyeziSosi
bo!
"
Ihel
pherst
andandl
if
therupi
ntot
heconsul
tat
ion
room.Ilayheronthebedandsitnexttoher.The
doctorcomesinandgreetsus.Shetouches
Unyezisankl
eandshewi nces.
"
Begent
le.
",Iscol
d.
Iki
ssUnyezi
shandast
hedoct
orr
ubsoi
ntmenton
herandput
sonabandage.
"Shet
wist
edherankleabitbutshe'
llbefi
ne.I
'
dgi
ve
youpai
nki
ll
ersbutIcan'
tinyourcondit
ion.
"
"
Condi
ti
on?
",Unyezi
asks.
"
Sor
ry.Thepr
egnancy.
"
"Pr
egnancy?
",Unyeziasksl
ooki
ngatmeandIl
ook
away.
"
Youdi
dn'
tnot
ice?Wantascan?I
'
llchar
get
hou.
"
"
It
sokay.Justscan.
"
Shelaysont hebedagai nandthelookshe'
sgiving
mehasmel ookingalloverthi
sroom.Shelif
tsher
shir
tupandherst omachl ooksplumperand
rounder.Itr
yt ouchi
ngi tbutsheslapsmyhand.I
removei tast heol
dwomanappl iesgelonherand
shehisses.Shest art
smovi ngthisthi
ngonher
st
omach.
"
Gudugudugudu.
"
"
That
sthehear
tbeat
."
Ismil
easIt akeoutmyphoneandst ar
trecording.
Unyezist
artscryi
ngandIwipeoffthegel.Ihugher
andshecr i
es.Idon'
tsayanyt
hingbutjustholdher.
Shefinal
lycalmsdown.
"
You'
reokay?
"
"
Don'
ttouchme.
"
"
Whatdi
dIdo?
"
"
Youkeepi
mpr
egnat
ingme!I
tst
ooear
ly!
"
"
Sor
rybutwebot
hknewwe'
dgether
ewi
thf
ucki
ng
r
aw.
"
Sheignoresmeast hedoct orcomesbacki nand
handsust hesonarscans.Shesai dshe'
sone
mont h.Mycalcul
ati
onsar etell
ingmeshef ell
pregnantwhenwewer efuckinginthebat
hr oom.I
dri
vet omyhousewi thherjustlooki
ngoutsidethe
windowsilent
lycryi
ng.
KUHLEKONKE
Itakeahugegul poft hecof f
ee.Mysi steri sat
schoolandNoxol ol eftear l
ieron.Ihaveaheadache
andIl ookl i
keI '
mf rom azombi eapocal ypsemovi e.
Ilayont hecouchsl owl yandIyel latmysel ffor
drinkingsomuchyest erday.AfterKhayal eftwe
drankl i
kef i
sh.Thatguyl eftmeal lhotandbot hered
yest erdayIf eltli
kecr ying.Istil
lfeelhim humpon
mewhenIi magi nei t.Isi twrongt hatthinkingabout
himi nbet weenmyt highsgi vesmeanor gasm?He
justr eleasedt hei nnerhoei nme.Aknockdi stur
bs.
Whot hefucki sit? !Istandupgr oaningasIgoopen
thedoor .Hei sst andi ngt herelookingliket hemeal
hei s.Ievenf orgotabouthi m comi ngtoday.I '
m not
evengoi ngt ot r
yf ixingmysel fup.Asl ongasIt ook
abat h.Appr eciatet heef fort.
"
Youl
ookl
ikeamess.
"
"
Iknow.
"
Imoveoutoft
hewayandheent
erscl
osingthe
door
.Idr
agmysel
ftot
hesit
ti
ngroom andlayon
thecouchagai
n.Hel i
ftmylegsupandsi
tsdown
befor
eputt
ingthem ontopofhim.
"
Hangover
?"
"
Ahect
icone.
"
"
Shame.Haveyouhear
d?"
"
Hear
dwhat
?"
"
Under
groundwasbur
ntyest
erday.
"
Isi
tupandgr
oanasmyheadt
hrobsmor
e.
"
What
?Whatt
ime?
"
"Idontknow.Rumorhasi
tthef
ir
est
art
edaf
tert
hey
closed.
"
"
Great
!I'
mjobl
ess.Ihavef
uckenbi
ll
stopay!
"
"Youcansti
llf
indanot
herj
ob.Unl
essyoul
oved
yourj
ob."
"
Ihat
edi
tbuti
tpai
dthebi
ll
s."
"
Sowhati
syournextpl
an?
"
"
I'
llhavet
oaskNoxi
fherof
ferst
il
lst
ands.I
'
m
f
ucked!"
"
Icanhel
pyououtwi
tht
hebi
ll
s."
"
NoIal
wayshaveapl
an.I
'
llmanage.
"
Henodsandr ubsmyl egs.Ican'tbel
ievenoone
hastol
dmeaboutt his.Idon'
tevenknowwher emy
phoneis.Ican'tworkatabaker yifIcan'
tbake.
"
YouknowI
'
m gl
adt
hatpl
acebur
ntdown.
"
Il
ookathi
m andhel
ooksatme.Thest
arsar
e
br
ight
.
"
Nomanwi
llbeget
ti
nger
eti
onsoveryou.
"
Idon'
tanswerhim andhishandsrubupabitand
hecaressesmythighs.I
fthi
sguyknewhowl ongI
haven'tbeent
ouchedli
kethathewouldn'
tbedoi
ng
thi
srightnow.
"
Situp.
",
hist
ell
sme.
Isitupgentl
yandfacesme.Myeyesgodownt o
hisdickandIcanseei tt
hati
tshard.Imovemy
eyesawayasmycl itdances.I
sitbit
chyifIcli
mb
thi
sguyanddoasIpl ease?Worsehisastranger
.
"
Areyoui
nar
elat
ionshi
p?"
"
No.Why?
"
"
Good.Idon'
twantt
oeatwher
esomeonei
seat
ing
t
oo.
"
"
Whatar
eyoueat
ing?
"
"
You.
"
Il
aughandhesmi
les.Thosedi
mpl
esLor
d!
"
Fuck!
",
hesaysr
ubbi
nghi
sface.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"
Ihaveneverdonet
hisbef
ore.
"
"
Donewhat
?"
"Thi
s.Wher
eIhavet ot
hreadcar
eful
lyar
oundagi
rl
causeshemightpushmeawaybutIwanttobang
hersobad.
"
"
Youj
ustsaywhat
everyout
hinki
ngheh?
"
Heput
shi
selbowsonhi
skneesandrubshisface
wi
thhi
spal
ms.Hemoveshishandsoutofhisface.
"
Iwantt
ofuckyousobad.
"
Il
ookatt
hiscut
eal
i
eni
nfr
ontofme.I
nmyhi
stor
y
ofbei
ngwi
thaguyt
hisi
saf
ir
st.
"
Konke.I
'l
ltakeyoutodatesafterbutr
ightnowj
ust
l
etme..
.Letmehi ti
t.Testdr
ive.
"
Godareyoutemptingme?Causeifyouareit
s
worki
ng.WhenIdon'tanswerhestandsupand
headsfort
hedoor.Heopensthedoorandclosesi
t
agai
nandlocksi
t.Het ur
nsaroundandlooksatme.
"
Fucki
t!
"
Hewal kst owar dsmeandpul lsmebymyl egs.This
i
sbecomi nganor m.Heget sinbetweenmyt highs
andki ssesme.Hi sli
psar esosof tandIcantaste
cigarettes.Hebi t
esmyl owerl ipanddeepensthe
kiss.Mymi ndisatwar .Shoul dIpushhim away?
Shoul dIgoaheadandl ethi m smash?Thehoei n
mescr eams" Yes!".Hi
shandgoesdownandhe
rubsonmet hroughmyshor t
s.Amoanescapesmy
l
ipsashi spaceget sfaster.Iarchmybackashe
carri
esonr ubbing.
"Mmmmh."
,Imoansl
owl
yandheupshi
space
causi
ngmetocum.
Hepul
lsoutoft
heki
ssandl
ooksathi
shandywor
k
andsmi
les.
"
You'
resof
uckenwet
."
Het akesof
fmyshor t
sandsinceI'
m notwear i
ng
underwearheismetbymyshavedt hickvagina.
ThankGodIshaveever yweek!Hetakesoffhis
pantsandhissizei
spleasi
ngtotheeyes.Het akes
outacondom from hi
spocketandputsiton.I'
m
sprawledonthecouchwaiti
ngforhim.Her ubs
himselfonmeandent er
smesl owl
yandIgasp.
"
Fuck!You'
resowar
m andt
ight
."
Hestar
tsmovingroughlyandIam scr
eamingin
pai
nandpleasur
e.Iftheneighbor
hooddoesn'
thear
methanthesewall
ssurecankeepasecr et
.
"
Khaya!Aaaah!Fuck!
"
Icanf
eelhi
mi nt
hedeepestpar
tsofmeashe
pumpshardandfasti
ntome.If
eelabui
ldcomi
ng
andhechokesme.
"
Cum i
fyouwantt
obr
eat
he!
"
Mybodyshoot
supandIscr
eam asIor
gasm hard.
Hemakesmeholdont
othecouchwher
eyour est
yourbackandheent
ersf
rom behi
ndbangi
ngme
roughl
y..
.[
REMOVED]
32
UNYEZI
Iam onthephonewi
thmyauntandshe'
shappy
i
nstead.
"
Sowhyar
eyoucr
ying?
"
"I
'
m notreadyaunt
y.Ij
ustlostSphi
wo.Ij
ustf
ound
y'
all
.Ihavealott
odo.Ican't
.Iwon'
tmanage.
"
Langadr
oveustohishomeandI
'
m ont
hephone
wit
hauntandshe'
snotget
ti
ngme.
"
Phahla.Seekgui
dancefr
om yourancest
ors.Pr
ay.
Godknowswhathisdoing.
"
Iwi
pemyt
ear
sasLangacomesi
n.
"
Pleaset
ellMkhul
uandDadIwon'
tbehomet
oday.
"
"
Okay.
"
Idropthecallandcovermyselfwi
ththeblanket
sas
Isnif
f.IcanhearLangawalkingar
oundt heroom.
I'
m carel
ess.HowcanIl etmysel
ffal
lpregnant
agai
n?Justaft
erIlostachi
ld?Ist
il
lhaven'
tdealt
wit
hmyst uf
f.Ist
il
lhavetofindt
hebag.Isti
llhave
togetbackt
hethrone.
"
Unyezi
."
IkeepquietandIf
eel
thebeddi
p.Hesnat
chest
he
blanket
soff.
"
Hlal
angezi
nqa.
"(Si
tupst
rai
ght
)
Isi
tupstr
aightandhesi
tswi
thhi
sel
bowsonhi
s
thi
ghs.
"
Unyezi
.You'
rebl
ami
ngmef
oryourpr
egnancy?
"
Idon'
tanswerbutj
ustwi
pemyt
ear
s.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
Ishakemyheadandhel
ooksatme.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
ori
mpr
egnat
ingyouagai
n."
"
Don'
tapol
ogi
ze.I
'
m al
soatf
aul
t.
"
"Whydoyouhavet
opushmeawayever
yti
me
you'
rehur
t?"
Il
ookdownandhel
if
tsmyheadup.
"
Lookmei
ntheeyeandt
ellmewhy.
"
Helooksmeintheeyeandt
hemooni
sdul
landt
he
oceanti
deshi
gh.
"Tel
lmewhyeveryt
imeIt
ryr
eachi
ngoutyou
alwayspushmeaway.
"
"
I'
m..
.I.
..
",
Itr
ysayi
ngsomet
hingbutwor
dsf
ailme.
"
Iloveyou.I
'
m wil
li
ngtot
akethebul
letforyoubut
mostl
yyou'r
etheonehol
dingt
hegun.Ithurts.
"
Hewipesawayat
earqui
ckl
y.Myhear
tbr
eaksat
t
hat
.
"Letmein.Webothl
ostachi
ld.Webothhavi
ng
anotheroneont
heway.You'
renotal
oneinthi
s."
"
Langa.
"
"
NoUnyezi
.Doyout
hinkIl
ikei
twhenyoucr
y?"
Ishakemyhead.
"I
'
m sorry.Iknowyouhaven'
tful
lyhealedfrom our
miscarr
iage.Youwantedtogetbacktoschool.You
havetofindyourheal
erbag.Thethrone.AndImay
havetakenyoutwostepsbackbyi mpregnati
ngyou
agai
n."
Ihol
dhi
shandandhel
ooksatme.
"
I'
m sor
ry.I
'
m put
ti
ngal
lthebl
ameonyou.
"
Het
ri
est
alki
ngandIshakemyhead.
"IthurtsLanga.I
'm scar
ed.WhatifIlosethisone
too?I '
mt i
red.Myli
fekeepsongetti
ngbumpyandI
keepondr aggi
ngyouwi t
h.Ever
yt i
meIt hinkI'
m
fi
ndi ngpeacesomet hi
ngalwaysgoeswr ong.It'
s
ti
r i
ng."
Hepul
lsmet
ohi
schest
.
"Godnevergivesaproblem wit
hnosol
uti
on.He
knowsyou'llmanage.Justtal
ktome.I
'
m here.
Acknowledgethat.
"
Ihol
dhimti
ght
erandsnif
fhim.Hesmel
lsgoodbut
onethi
ngi
smissi
ng.Tobaccosmel
l.
"
Don'
tyouwantt
osmoke?
"
Hel
ooksatmequest
ionabl
y.
"
Youwantt
osmoke?
"
"
No.Notme.Yousmel
lext
rasexywi
tht
heni
cot
ine
smel
l
."
Hel
ooksatmeandsmi
les.Hehast
hemostcut
est
smi
le.
"
Ihopemychi
ldget
sthosedi
mpl
es.
"
"
Theycomewi
tht
hepackage.
"
Iputmyf
ingeri
nhi
sdi
mpl
es.They'
resodeep.
"
Letmegosmoket
hen.
"
"
Justhol
dmef
ornow.
"
Henodsandl
aysdownwi
thmeont opofhi
m.Hi
s
r
ubbi
ngmyassandhesqueezesi
t.
"
Yourboot
yist
hicker
."
"
Iknow.
"
"
Ili
kei
t.
"
"
Ofcour
seyouwoul
d."
Hechuckl
esandspanksi
t.
"
I'
mresi
gni
ng.
"
"
What
?Why?
"
"Isti
llwanttost
udy.I'
m alr
eadygett
ingpaid
enoughf orpost
ingarandom pict
ureandal otofmy
hustlessoIcanstil
lmanagemyl if
estyl
e.Ihavea
l
otofmoneysavedandI 'm usi
ngittopayformy
fees."
"
I'
m proudofyou.SoIcan'
tevenhel
lout
f
inanci
all
y?"
"
No.
"
"
Wellyou'
l
lhavet
osuckitup.Iwor
khardsomy
wif
ecanbehappyandl
ivelavi
shandyouaremy
wif
e."
"
Tobe.
"
"
You'
veal
waysbeenmywi
fe.
"
Wesitincomf
ort
abl
esi
lencewi
thmebr
ushi
nghi
s
chest
.
"
Mkami
."
"
Mmmmh?
"
"
Mmmmh?
"
"
Khuzwayo?
"
"
Whenareyougoi
ngt
ost
artpr
epar
ingf
orour
weddi
ng?
"
"
AssoonasIgetbackt
oDurban.Thet
radi
ti
onal
weddi
ngwi
llbehel
dhere.
"
"Canwehaveourtr
adi
ti
onalweddi
ngbef
orewego
backtoDur
ban?"
"
IdoubtI
'l
lgetti
metopr epar
eeveryt
hing.I
'
m busy
wit
hmyancestralst
uffplusI'
m bei
ngtaughtofour
f
ami l
yhi
stor
y."
"
IcanaskThandotohelp.Aslongasweunitethe
f
amil
yandweexchangegi ft
s.We'l
lhaveaproper
t
radi
ti
onalweddi
ngaft
erourwhi t
ewedding.
"
"
Thatsoundsbet
ter
."
"
Nowtel
lmewhathaveyoul
ear
nedaboutyour
f
ami
ly?"
"I
tsaveryst
rangef
ami
ly.Iwon'
ttakeyour
surname.
"
"
Heh?
"
"
List
en.Mkhul
usaysI'
l
lbeUnyeziSosi
bo-
Khuzwayo.Al
sof
ir
stbornsar
ealwaysgir
lssot
hey
cantakethet
hrone.Sphiwowastorul
eafterme.
WehaveaQueendom ki ndoft
hinggoingon.Men
don'
trul
e.That
swhyIhavet otakebackthethr
one
assoonasIgetthebag."
Icar
ryontel
li
nghim whatMkhuluandDadhas
beentel
li
ngme.I
'velear
ntalotr
eall
y.

KUHLEKONKE
Iwakeupt omyphoner inging.Ir
ealisethatI'
mi n
myr oom.Isitupandgr oanatt hepai nbetweenmy
thi
ghs.Il ookfort
heringingphone.If i
nditunder
thebedbuti tsnotmyphone.I tstopsr i
ngingandI
throwi tonthebed.Wher e'sKhaya?Maybehel ef
t.I
wal ktobathroom andpassAmandawat chingTV.I
regretpeeingassoonasIl etthefir
stdr opofpee
out.
"
Shi
t!
"
IwinceandwhenI '
m donepeeingaft
erwhatf
eel
s
l
ikeages.Istar
tfi
ll
ingt
hebathtubwithwar
m wat
er.
Amandast andsatthedoorandlooksatme.
"
What
?",
myvoi
cecomesouthoar
se.
"
Soyouhaveaboyf
ri
end?
"
"
No.
"
"BhutiKhayadisagrees.Hesai
dhe'
l
lbebackwi
th
dinnersoIdidn'tcook.
"
"
Whatt
imei
sit
?"
"
17:
43.Youhavebeensl
eepi
ng.
"
"
Iwast
ir
ed.
"
"
Mmmmh.Ar
eyouget
ti
ngr
eadyf
orwor
k?"
"
Ourclubwasburntdown.Where'
smyphone?I
wantt
ohearthewholestor
y."
"
Iputiti
nthecharger
.Ifoundi
tnextt
othetabl
e.So
whatarewegoingtodosinceyou'
renol
onger
worki
ng?Wecant akesomemoneyf r
om ourtr
ust
f
und."
"
NoAmanda.That
'sf
oryourst
udi
es.
"
Igeti
nsi
det
hebat
handsi
gh.
"
What
'st
hatonyourneck?
"
"
What
?"
"
It
sli
kesomeonest
rangl
edyou.
"
"
It
snot
hing.
"
"
Sisi
."
,shel
ooksatmewor
ri
ed.
"
It
snotwhatyou'
ret
hinki
ng.I
'
m notbei
ngabused.
"
"
Okay.
",shesaysst
il
llooki
ngatmewar
il
y.
ShewalksoutandIr ubmyneck.Dammi tKhaya!I
rel
axintothebath.Ihavetot al
ktoNoxol
oabout
hergi
vingmeaj ob.Ishouldalsocheckmyemails.
Ineedaj obtokeepthelightson.Thebathr
oom
dooropens.
"WhatdoyouwantAmanda?
",Isaywi
thmyeyes
closed.
"
I'
m notAmanda.
"
Iopenmyeyesandi
tsKhaya.Ishyawayandpl
ay
wit
hthebubbl
esint
hewater.
"
Washal
azayi
ndaba?
"What
'swi
tht
heshyness)
"
Not
hing.
"
"Ibr
oughtyousomet
hingforthepain.Idi
dn'
tthi
nk
aboutget
ti
ngyouthr
oatlozenges.
"
"
It
'sokay.
"
"
Lookatme.
"
Ili
ftmyeyesathi m andthest
arsar
esti
llbr
ightand
color
ful.Ist
il
lcan'
tbeli
eveIseest
arsi
nhiseyes.
It
swei r
d.
"
Konke.
"
Il
ikei
twhenhecal
l
smet
hat
.
"
Khaya.
"
"
Canyoubemywoman?
"
"
Likeasi
nyourgi
rl
fr
iend?
"
"No.Mywoman.Gi
rl
fr
iendsar
eforhi
ghschool
boys.
"
Hesi
tsont
hecl
osedt
oil
etseatandl
ooksatme.
"
So?
"
"
Ihar
dlyknowyou.
"
"
Don'
tgi
vemet
hat
.Ngi
mdal
aKonke.IknowwhatI
want.Ican'tber
unni
ngaf
teryouatthi
sage.I'
m 27
year
sol d.Timei
snotonmyside.
"(
Im grown)
"
Uhm.
..
"
"
Let
'sbecl
earher
e.I
'
m notact
ual
lyaski
ngyou.
"
Thi
sguykeepsonamazingme.Hej
ustcomesi
nto
myli
feandstar
tsr
unni
ngit.
"
Iboughtdi
nnersi
nceIhear
dyoucan'
tcook.
"
Amandai
sfor
war
d!Iknowshet
oldhi
m.
"
That
'
sokay.Notever
yonecancook.I
'
llt
eachyou.
"
Thisguyisrunningt
hisshi
pcal
ledmylif
eallofa
sudden.Igetoutoft
hebathandIlookatmyselfi
n
themirr
or.Ihavemarksonmyneck.Mywai stt
oo
andmynunai sswol
len.
"
I'
m sor
ryaboutt
her
oughness.
"
Hesayscomi
ngbehi
ndme.
"
Areyouusual
lyr
ough?
"
"
Yeah.Iki
ndofl
osecont
rolsomet
imes.
"
"
Wor
koni
t.
"
"
Iknow.I
'
m sor
ry.
"
Inodandwr apatowelaroundmybody.Hef ol
lows
met omybedr oom.Hehandsmeadi s-chem brown
bag.Ithankhim andhehelpsmeapplythe
oi
ntment .I
'
lldri
nkthepil
lsaft
erI
'
veeaten.Iget
dressedwithhimlooki
ngatme.
"
What
?"
"
Not
hing.
"
Ishrugandhef oll
owsmet othekit
chen.Ilookat
thepictur
ehungont hewall
.Mama.Papa.I fhis
i
ntentionsaregoodsendmeasi gn.Wesi tdown
andAmandahandsusourpl atessmil
ing.Iknow
she'swaiti
ngt i
llwealonedoshecanbombar dme
withquestions.
32
5MONTHSLATER
UNYEZI
Iam inthemiddleofnowhere.Ther
ear
evoices
shouti
ng"sit
amhl abawethuwenaweknene!"(
Hel
p
ourlandyourHighness)t
hereisamanwhohashis
backt
ome.Thescenei nfr
ontofmeisfr
ight
eni
ng
asheslaught
erspeopl
e.MyGrannyst
andsnextt
o
me.
"
Sit
weset
husi
yaf
a."(
Ournat
ioni
sdyi
ng.
)
Iwakeupsweat ingandLangai sasleep.Igetoutof
bedslowl ymakingsureIdon'twakehi m.Icheck
theti
meont heclockandit
smi dni
ght .AssoonasI
walkinsidetheroom Langamadei ndumbaIf eel
thepresenceofmyancest orsweighingdownon
me.Ilightmycandl esandburnmyi ncenseasI
kneeldown.
"
Thongal
ami
."
,Isaycl
appi
ng.
Iseethef
lamesbr
ight
enandgetl
arge.They'
re
l
isteni
ngt
ome.
"I
phuphol
amiGogo.Nkanyi
sel
eni
."(
Mydr
eam.
Li
ghtupforme.
)
IgruntasIt heytal
ktome.LangaonceaskedhowI
hearthem.Theyusemymi ndtotal
ktome.They
givemei magesoft hi
ngsI'
veencount er
edandIuse
thattol
isten.It
sunexplai
nablereal
ly.
"
YeboGogo!Thokoza!
"
Iplaythedr um asIfeelaheavypresenceonmy
shoulders.Istandupandst ar
tdancing(ukugi
da)
.
Thedr um playinginmyheadasIdancear oundt
he
room.Ifeelt hepresencel
ight
enandIst opand
kneelnexttomycandl esandincense.
"
NinaboSosi
bo.Thusi
.Ncobeni
."
Iputever ythi
ngoutandItakeoffmy
cloths(amabhayi)andfol
dt hem neat
lybefore
put t
ingthem downagain.IfindLangaont hecouch
drinkingmi l
k.Isi
tnextt
ohi m wi
thabi toftr
ouble.
Myf eetareswoll
enfrom t
hispregnancyandal l
t hat
danci ng.Hehandsmeagl assofwarm mi l
kand
rubsmyt ummy.I '
m 6mont hsandIhaven'tputal ot
ofwei ghtsinceIdoyoga.
"
You'
reokay?
"
Inodwi
pingt
hemi
l
kfoam ofmyupperl
ip.
"Af
termybi
rth.I
'
m gi
ven3mont hstonur
turemy
chil
daft
ert
hatI'
m of
ftoSwazi
land.Thet
hronei
sat
ri
sk."
"
I'
m happyhowst
rongyouar
e.Youhadt
ocome
f
acetofacewi
thyourmot
her
spastwhenyouf
ound
t
hatbag."
Ifoundt hebagi nmom' syardwher eshest ayed
andIhadbeggedandpai dthecur rentowner stolet
medi gupt hebag.AssoonasIt ouchedt hebag.
Thespi ri
tualreal
m openedupandf ort
hef i
rstweek
Istr
uggl edwiththedreams,presencesandawhol e
l
ot.Ileftfortwomont hstoGobel asoshecant each
me.I st
hunyasamii sverypower fulsot womont hs
waswhatIneeded.I twassomet imest iri
ngonhow
Ifai
ledsomet askscauseIwaspr egnant.Myf ami l
y
hadt ookmeoutofGobel ashomewi t
hacowandI
hadacer emonydonef orme.Ihavei ndumbaback
athomet oo.Langahasbeenwi t
hmeever ystepof
theway.
"I
t'
stir
ingreal
ly.I
'
m al
waysti
red.I
'm alwayson
edge.Iknowoursexli
feisal
soslackingcauseI'
m
al
waysi nmyindumba."
"
It
'sokay.I
'
llwai
t.
"
Il
ookedathi
m andIcoul
dseehewasl
ying.Iwas
gonet womont hsandwhenIcamebackwehar dly
hadt i
mef orsexwi t
ht heki dsar oundandmet rying
tofigureoutsomeofmyf ami l
yt r
aditi
ons.His
phonebeepedandInot icedheputi tonsilentafter
that.Istretchedmyhandf ormygl assofmi lkand
hequi cklysnat chedhi sphone.Il ookedathi m and
heputi tinhi spocket .Ichuckl eddarkl
yandt ooka
sipofmymi lk.Myancest or sdon'tshowmest uf f
thatinvolvedi rect
ly.Isomet imeshavet oconsult
Gobel a.Istoodupandwentt oourr oom.Imovedi n
sincewemar riedtraditi
onal l
y.Igetinsidemy
blanketsandIl ookatt hecei l
ing.
"Thongolamingikhanyisel
e.Thongol
ami
ngiboni
se."
,Isangsoft
ly.
Ihear
dhi
scardr
ivi
ngoutandIcl
osedmyeyes.
"Thongolamikhanyi
sa.Thongol
amivezakonke.
",
I
sangrubbingmybelly.
Ihel
dthetearsi
nandIl
aidt
her
eint
hought
.Idon'
t
wanttost
ress.I
'
m pr
egnant
.

KUHLEKONKE
Ij
ustgotoffthephonewi thNoxol oandshe'
s
enj
oyingGauteng.Shemovedt herewithherbaby
daddyandIcanf eel
itsomething'
snotright
.She
won'tsayanythingbutsherejectsmyvideocall
s
butcall
smeorsendt extmessages.Shehasn't
upl
oadedapi ctureonhersocialnetworkinmonths.
"
Baby.
"
Il
ookathim andhesmi
les.Ij
ustl
ookathi
m and
walkpasshi
m.
"
Uhambani
ni?
"(Whenar
eyoul
eavi
ng?
)
Hel
ooksatmeandher
unshi
stongueoverhi
s
t
eet
h.
"Ist
il
lwon'tapol
ogize.I
fIcoul
dturnbackt
ime.I'
d
burnthatcluboverandoverandoverandoverand
over-
"
"Fi
ne!Youdidn'
thavear i
ghtt
o!Whati
fNoxolo
hadn'
toff
eredmeamanagerposi t
ionather
baker
y?!Whatthen?!Thatwasmysourceof
i
ncome!"
"
Iwasgoi
ngt
otakecar
eofyou.Ihavet
hemoney.
"
"
Yazi
ni?Idon'
twantyourmoney!
"(
youknowwhat
?)
"UyabonaKuhl ekonkesoxabanabese
ungikhupulel
aili
zwi."(
YouseeKuhl ekonkewe
goingtofighti
fyou'rerai
singyourvoiceatme.
)
Ikeptqui
etandwal
kedoutoft
heki
tchen.Hi
svoi
ce
mademest opinmysteps.
"Angikucenginj
aloMaSi langwe.I
fIfeell
ike
transfer
ri
ngami ll
ionintoyouraccountyouhaveno
choicebuttousei t.Fut
higivemeyouraccount
detail
s."(
Iain'
tbeggingyou. )
Hetookouthisphoneandlookedatme.Icli
cked
myt ongueandwalkedtomyroom.Iheardthedoor
cl
osingandhiscardri
vingof
f.Peace.Myphone
beeped.
"
Capit
ecmoneyi n.R1000000hasbeent
ransf
err
ed
i
ntoyouracc.Fr
om B.Khuzwayo.
"
Istaredatthemessagewi
demouthed.Whi
leI
'
m
sti
llshockedamessagepopedup.
"I
'
m givi
ngyouti
llt
omorr
owtospendallt
hatmoney.
Idon'
twantevenacentr
emai
ningexceptt
hatR30
000t
hatwasi
nyouraccount
."
Howdi dheknowmybalance?Letal
onemy
accountnumber
.Anot
hermessagecomesthr
ough.
"
Ohandifyoudon'tf
ini
sht
hatmoney.I
'
llf
ucksome
r
especti
ntoyou.
"
Ifeelthet emper atureint
her oom escal ate.Hisnot
playingont hat"fucksomer espectintoyou. "part.
Weoncehadaf i
ghtandKhayadoesn' thavef il
ter
hesai dsomeshi tandIslappedhi m.Hemadesur e
Ididn'torgasm dur i
ngsexf oraweek.Thatwast he
mostpai nfulpunishmenteverandIcoul dn'twalk
withoutl i
mpi ng.Bhekikhayadoesn' tapol ogi ze
causehef eelshisal waysright.Wef ightaboutt hat
al
lt hetimeandIal wayslose.Hisar rogantanda
narcissist.Itext
edNoxol oandshecal ledme.
"
Ami
ll
ion?
"
"
6zer
os.Wher
edoIst
artspendi
ngi
t?"
"Howaboutst
art
ingbybuyi
ngashar
einmy
Baker
y."
"
You'
resur
e?"
"Yes.I
'
veheardhowyou'
rerunni
ngtheonet
hatsi
de.
Iwanttohaveanot
heroninCapeTown."
"
I'
dli
ket
hat
.Somet
hingi
nmynamet
oo.
"
"Yes.I
'l
lsendyout
hecont
ractf
astbef
oret
omor
row
ends."
"
Howmuch?
"
"
20000.
"
Man!Ist i
llhaveal otofmoneyl eft
.Amandaneeds
togetbackf rom schoolf ast.Weneedt ot hink.How
canBheki khayadot hist ome?Hi schallengingme
andI 'm asubmi ssiveandheknowsi t.He'l
lalways
win.Iki ndofl i
kethetoughl ovewehave.I tsnott he
l
ovei nmovi es.It
sjustourl ove.Yes.Isaidl ove.I
l
ovehi m.Amandaal wayswant edal aptop.Ican
erectnewt ombst onesonmypar entsgraves.
Bheki khayal i
kesexpensi veshoes.Whatel se
though?Ismi ledasani deacamet omind." Be
smar t
.Whenamangi vesyoumoney.Usei twi sel
y.
Don' tbuyshoes.I nvest."Iremembermymoms
wor ds.
NDABENKHULU
"
Ami
ll
ion?
",IaskedasIst
art
edl
aughi
ng.
"
Amill
ion.Uyadelel
auKuhle.I'
m actual
lyt
est
ingher
ment
ali
ty.
"(Kuhleisdi
srespectf
ul)
"
Whati
fshebuysshoesanddr
esses?
"
"She'
ssmar
t.Shecr
avesindependence.I
'
vegi
ven
heracar
d.I
tsuptoher.
"
IshakemyheadasIsi tup.Mybr ot
her
shave
fuckeduppsychos.Thandolwet
huwalksincussi
ng.
Wel ookatherasshethrowsherbagatLangaand
heducks.Whatdidthisi
diotdo?
"
HeywenaLanga!
"
ShepicksupmyvaseandIqui
ckl
yst
andup
hol
dingherhand.
"
Let
'snotbr
eakmyt
hings.
"
"
Ngi
yekebhut
i.
"(Leavemeal
onebr
other
.)
It
akemyvaseandputi
tback.
"
What
'swr
ongThando?
"
"
Isawyou!Wit
hyourt onguedeepdownsomehoes
t
hroat
.DoesUnyeziknowyou'recheat
ingonher
!"
Wealll
ookatLangaandKhul
ekanisl
apshi
m and
har
datthat
.
"
Ist
hist
ruebaf
o?"
Khul
ekanii
stheasksquest
ionsl
atert
ype.
"Bafoakuyil
utho.Si
yantj
ontj
anakuphel
a."(
It
s
nothing.I
tsjustanaff
air
.)
Isi
tdownandl ookathim.Khulekanithr
owsa
punchandhedoesn' tfi
ghtback.Heknowshi s
wrongandi fhedaresfightbackmeorBhekikhaya
wil
lhavehi sass.Thandostart
scryingand
Khulekanistops.
"You'
reungrat
efulbafo.Youf i
ndyourbet t
erhalf
andyoudot hi
s.Loyaltyiswhatweal wayspreach.
YouknowhowmuchIdi et ofi
nall
ymeetmyone.
Unyeziispr
egnantandst ruggli
ngwi thherst
uff.
You'r
einthestreet
sfuckingaround.Peopl earesick
outhere.Whatifyoubringherasi cknesswhileshe
wasloyal?Ungiphoxi
lebafo."(You'vedi
sappointed
me.
Iwalkoutaft
ersayingthatandheadt othepool
.I
j
umpi nandIt akeaswi m.Ist
il
lhaven'tmetmy
otherhal
fandt i
meisn'tonmysi de.Ithurt
slayi
ng
al
oneatnightknowingshe'soutt heresomewhere.I
craveheral
ready.Justtohaveherl ookinmyeyes
andtellmewhatsheseesi nthem.
34
UNYEZI
Ilookedathi m ashesi ppedthecof f
eeImadef or
him.Hehadabl ueeyeandabust edlip.Hel i
edto
mewhenIaskedhi m abouti t
.Thandohadt oldme
everythingandIappr eciat
ewhatshedi dthere.She
chosemyf eeli
ngsoverherbr ot hers.Ihadmy
suspicionsbutIwasal waysbusyIneverhadt i
me
togeti ntomucht houghtabouti t.Hegr oanedashe
start
edsweat i
ng.Isippedmyr ooibost eaashef ell
ofhischai rcurl
inghimselfintoat inyball.Istood
upandsatbesi dehim whi l
ecallinganambul ance.I
l
aidhisheadonmyt highs.
"
Don'
tfi
ghti
tmyl
ove.
",Isaysoot
hingl
y.
"
Unyezi
.It
s..
.Pai
nful
."
"Iknowmyl ove.That
'st
hewhol
epur
poseofi
t.Pai
n.
Embr acei
t.
"
Hewr
etchedandgr
oaned.
"
Iloveyoust
handwasami
."
,Isayki
ssi
nghi
s
f
orehead.
Si
rensr
angout
sideandt
heycamei
nfol
lowedby
Sbhamu.
"
Mkakhekwenzenj
anj
?"(
Hiswi
fewhat
'swr
ong?
)
"
Idon'
tknow.Hesayshi
sinpai
n."
Wef
oll
owedt
hepar
amedi
cst
il
lthei
rvehi
cle.
"
Unyezi
.I'
m sor
ry.
"
Ij
ustl
ookedatthem astheycl
osedt
hedoorsand
dr
oveout.Sbhamulookedatmeandwalkedaway.
"
3daysofpainonlymylove.Thatsbet
tert
hanwhat
I
'
mf eel
ingr
ightnow.
",
Iwhisperedandwalkedback
i
nsi
de.
Thekidsar
eatschoolandI '
m allal
one.Icallhi
s
famil
yandtellt
hem hi
sbrotherisinhospit
al.Isend
them t
hedetail
sofwheretheytookhim andgoti n
bed.Iwi
pedawayalonet
ear
.Iwon'
tst
ressabouti
t.
Mybaby'sheal
th.

NOXOLO
"Msi
zingi
yaxol
isa!
",Iscr
eamedasheputhi
sknee
onmychest.
Hishavi nganot herbaddayt oday.Hecameback
drunkasusualandst art
edcal l
ingmenames.The
abusehasbeengoi ngonf ormont hsnow.He
start
edgambl i
ngandhel osteveryt hing.Ibri
ng
foodt othet ableandI 'mthinkingofanescapepl an.
Het hreatensmychi ld'sli
feifIevert ryleavi
nghim.
Hehasbadconnect ions.Oneswher eonephone
callcanmakemehi story.Iwasseei ngblackdots
ashi skneepr essedhar der.Icantdi enow.Mychi l
d.
Itri
edget ti
ngsomebr eathinmyl ungst onoavail.
Everythingbecamedar kasIhear dsi r
ens.God
pleasedon' tletmedi eri
ghtnow.

LANGALAKHELI
HLE
Iwokeupt opainagai
nandwhatmadeitworde
wasIdi dn'
tknowwherei
twas.Mywholebody
ached.Thedoctor
ssaynothi
ngiswrongwi
thme.
Dadcamewi t
hGogoPumle.Guessmysibl
ingsar
e
sti
llangryatme.Wher
eisUnyezi
?
"
Ther
e'snothi
ngIcandoboKhuzwayo.Unyezihas
t
heanti
dote.I
nthr
eedayst
hepainwil
lendthou."
"
Unyezi
?Whatdoesshehavet
odowi
tht
his?
"
"
Yoursonwr
ongedher
.She'
smaki
nghi
m pay.
"
Shepacksherbagsatthatandexi
ts.Dadlooksat
meandIf eelmyhear
tknot.Iwaswrong.Iwas
sel
fi
sh.Iusedmydicktothink.
"
Whatdi
dyoudoson?
"
"
I.
..I
..
.Cheat
ed.
"
Hel ooksatmeandl eavestoo.Iwretchandtur
n
aroundcr yi
ng.I
fshel eavesmeaf terthi
sIwon'
t
fi
ght .Ibr
okeapromi se.Myhear tbreaksatt
he
thoughtofherleavingme.If uckedup.Bigti
me.I
don'tdeserveher.Isendavoi cenote.
"
Unyezi
.I'
m sor
ry.Iknowyouknow.Iwasadouche.
Thereisno.
..Ah.
..Noexcusef
orwhatIdid.Idon'
t.
..
Deserveyou.Youcanleaveme.
",Ist
optal
kingas
anotherwaveofpainhi
tsme.
Myphonef
all
stot
hegr
ound.Il
eti
tfal
landIcr
y.
"
I'
m sor
ry.I
'
m sor
ry!
"
Doctorswal
kinandst
rapme.Theysedat
emeasI
wigglear
ound.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
If
alli
ntodar
ksl
umber
.I'
m sor
ry.
35
UNYEZI
Ijustcameoutofconsul ti
ngmyancest orswhen
Langawal kedi n.I
tsbeent ought hesepastfew
days.Ijustnevert houghthe'ddot hattome.He
greetsandwal kspastme.Hi slostweightandhe
l
ooksl if
eless.If eeltear
swel lupandIt akedeep
breathestillIcalm down.Idi shupf orusandthe
kidsarevisi t
ingThandosoi tsjustmeandhi m.I
feelli
kescr eami ngandcr yingbutIdontwantt o
stress.Hewal ksoutwhenI '
m doneeat i
ngandhe
gr
abssomewat
erandhest
andst
her
elooki
ngat
me.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
Ii
gnor
ehi
m andputmypl
atei
nthesi
nk.
"
I'
m sor
ry.IknowIpr
omi
sedI
'
llwi
thst
andi
tal
l.
"
"
Howmanyt
imesdi
dyousl
eepwi
thher
?"
"
Once.
"
"
You'
rel
ying!
"
"Iswear.Otherni
ghtswe' dtalkandki
ssbutIonl
y
sleptwithheronce.I
'm sorry.I'
m movi
ngoutsoyou
canhaveyourspace.I '
llsupportyouandmykid.I
'l
l
bet her
eduringhisbi
rth."
It
urnar
oundandl
ookathi
m.
"
Soyou'
rer
unni
ngaway?
"
"
No.IknowwhatIdi dwaswr ong.Myf amil
yisn'
t
t
alki
ngt ome.Igetthat
.Iunderst
andthatyouhate
me.I'
llbeoutofyourhairbyt
omor r
ow."
Il
ett
hetearsfal
landhet akesast
eptowardsbut
somet
hingstopshim andheshakeshisheadand
t
urnsar
ound.
"I
'
m sor r
yIbrokemypromise.Justdon'tcr
ycauseI
wasungr at
efulandsel
fi
sh.Don'
thurtcauseIletmy
dickdothethinki
ngfor
.GodknowsIl oveyoubutI
don'tdeser
veyou.Lovedoesn'
thurtandIhurtyou.
"
HewalksoutandIletasobescapemylips.Ihold
ont
othecounterasIcry.I
thur
tssobad.Ithurt
sso
much.WhathurtsmethemostisIsti
lll
ovehim.I
wantt
ohatehim sobadbutIlovehi
m.

LANGALAKHELI
HLE
Ifeelmyhear
ttearasIhearhercri
es.WhatwasI
thi
nking?Amessagefrom Sam comesthr
ough.
"Everyt
hingisi
nplacef
orFri
day.I
'l
lsendoutt
he
i
nvitati
onstomorr
owmor ni
ng.Youjusthavet
oget
herthere."
Ir
epl
yback:
"0*
****
**3.Updateheronthebabyshower
.She'
l
l
getUnyezit
here.Cutal
lti
eswit
hme. "
Idi
dn'
twai
tforherr
epl
yIbl
ockedhernumberandI
droveouti nhighspeed.Sam wasaneventpl anner
whoIhi redt ohel pmewi thUnyezi ssur priseBaby
Showerandwest artedt alking.Wegotver yclose
andshemadeamoveonme.Thegui ltatemeup
andt hatni ghtshet extedmesowecant alkabout
whathappened.Wemetatt heGar ageandhad
somei cecr eam.Weagr eedt hatitwi llneverhappen
againandt hansheki ssedme.Iguesst hat '
swhen
Thandosawus.Icoul dn'tevenaskwhatwasshe
doingatt hegar agei nt hemi ddleofni ght .I'
ve
disappoi ntedmyf ami l
y.Daddi dn'tevenf etchme
from thehospi tal.Al oudcr ashdi st urbsmy
thought sasIf eelmybodygett hrownf orwardand
mycarr ollsover .Somet hingj abbedmysi deas
bloodoozesdownt omyf ace.Igetoutofmy
seatbel t
.Someoneopensmydoorandpul l
smeout
asIsmel lpet r
ol.I '
m dr aggedt i
llt
hesi deandmy
visi
onbl ur rywhenmycarcat chesf ir
es.Si rensare
ri
ngingandI '
ml osingbl ood.Il etthedar kness
embr aceme.Ihopet heyhel pmewheni tstool at
e.I
deservet odi e.Ibr oket hehear tofawomanwho
genuinel ylovedmeoveraf ewr oundsofsex.
KUHLEKONKE
AsIwalkoutKhuzwayoLawandOr derwitha
boucetomystepacalldi
stur
bsmyj oy.I
tsan
off
icenumberal
lthewayfrom Gaut
eng.Iansweri
t.
"
Hel
lo.
"
"
Ist
hisKuhl
ekonkeSi
langwe?
"
"
Yes.
"
"I
'
m cal
li
ngfr
om Randfontei
nPri
vateHospit
al.Ms
Noxol
oKhumalowasadmi t
tedt
hreedaysandshe
hasyouashernextofki
n."
"
Uhwhathappenedt
oher
?"
"
Ican'
tsayovert
hephone.
"
"
Okay.I
'
llbet
her
e."
Idropthecal
lasIfeelmyhandssweat ing.Igetint
o
thecarandthesmelloffr
eshleatherseatsdoesnt
evendrivemecrazyanymore.Myhear tbeatisfast
anditfeel
sli
kemyhear ti
saboutt ofl
youtofmy
mouth.Ipassaverydrast
icaccidentandmyhear t
beat
sfaster
.It
rycall
ingBheki
khayabuthi
sphone
ri
ngsunanswered.Ir
ememberIhaveKhulekani
s
numbers.HeanswerswhenI'm aboutt
odrop.
"
MaSilangwe.Bhekican'
ttal
kri
ghtnow.We'
rei
nthe
middl
eofsomet hi
ng."
Hisvoicesoundsl ikehi saboutt ocry.Awomans
crycauseshi mt odropt hecal l
.Iguesst heygoing
thr
oughsomet hing.ItextAmandaasIpar katthe
air
port.Iruninsideandpeopl ear epull
ingtheir
suicasesandI '
mi napant suitwithjustmyhandbag.
Iwaitinli
neaspeopl ebuyt i
ckets.Ilookupatt he
screenandt henextf l
ightt oGaut engleavesin30
minutes.Igof i
rstclassast hat
'stheonl yseat
avail
able.Thisismyf i
rsttimeinanai rpl
anebutmy
wor r
yover powersmyf earofhei ghts.Itr
yNoxol o
assoonwei nt
heai randSanel eanswer sherphone.
"
Aunt
yKuhl
e."
"
Heyboy.UphiuMa?
"(Wher
e'smom?
)
"Mom isi
nhospi
tal
.Dadi
sinj
ail
.I'
m atmyaunt
s
place.
"
"
Whathappened?
"
"Dadwast
ryi
ngtoki
llmom.IhadherphonesoI
call
edt
hepol
ice.
"
Iclosemyeyesasmyhear tsi
nks.Noxol
o.Idr
op
thecallasIcr
y.Themeninsuitsl
ookatmeand
onepassesmeaKl eenext
issue.
Fort
hatreaderwhosaidshewasn'tokay.
Somethi
ngshortforyou.Beokaysthandwa.
36
UNYEZI
Iwentt ovi
sithi
m againatthehospit
alandhej ust
l
aidt her
ewithallt
hemachi nesconnected.The
beepingheartmonitorannoyedmeandi tser
iousl
y
drovemecr azy.Iholdhi
scoldhandwi peawaymy
tears.
"Youalwayssaidweshoul dtal
kthingsoutbutyou
ran.DoyouknowhowIf eltwhenIhear dyouhave
gottenint
oanaccident?Youdoal lthesethi
ngs
forget
ti
ngI'm pr
egnant
.Ifyoudontcar eaboutme
thi
nkaboutourchildatleast
.Wakeupandt alkt
o
me.Tellmewhyyoudi dwhatyoudi d."
Iwi
peawayt
het
ear
sasasobbr
eaksout
.
"Il
oveyou.Youhurtmesomucht hou.Idon'
tthi
nkI
canevertr
ustyouagai
n.Iwantt
ohat eyousobad
but-
"
Themachinesst
art
edbeepingandi
twaslikehe
washavi
ngaseizure.Doct
orscamerunni
ngand
pul
ledmeaway.
"
Langa!
"
Hecan'tleaveme!Hecan'
tdothattome!Hehasto
explai
n.IwascalmeddownbecauseIwaspregnant.
Ihadmybabi eshear
tmonit
oredandmyBPaswel l
.
Ijustl
etthetear
sasIhear
ddoctorsrunni
ngar
ound
i
nt hehall
way.

KUHLEKONKE
WhenIlandedIhadabi tofastruggl
efi
ndi
ngt he
hospi
tal
.Ihadtohiresomeonewhoknewt hisplace
todri
vemear ound.Wewer eataBnBIwasr enti
ng
andshewaseat i
ngthefoodImadef orher
.Ilooked
atherbr
uisesandmyeyeswel ledup.
"
Whydi
dntyout
ellme?
"
Shel
ooksatmeandshest
aresatherf
ood.
"
Iwasscar
ed.Scar
edyoumi
ghtj
udgeme.
"
Ishakemyheadandwi
pemyt
ear
sfai
li
ngasmor
e
cameout.
"Iwasscaredyou'l
lgeti
nvol
vedandhe'
dcome
aft
eryoutoo.Iwasscar edf
ormyson.He
thr
eatenedtokil
lhi
mi fiweret
oevert
ryl
eavi
nghi
m
ortel
lpeople.
"
Shelookedt
ir
ed.Shehadbagsunderhereyesand
shehadanxi
etyatt
acksever
yti
mesomeone
knocked.
"IwassoscaredHl ehl
e.Hewouldbeatmewi tha
beltandhe'
dtellmehowImadehi m angry.Iwould
curlmysel
fkeepingmycr i
esasquietasIcoul dso
Saneleneverheardanythi
ng.Thatday..
."
,hervoice
breaks.
Istandupandsi
tnextt
oher
.Idontt
alkbutr
ubher
backassheopensuptome.
"
ThatdayIt
houghthewasf
inal
lyf
edup.It
houghtI
wasgoingtodie.Iwasscaredformyson.Icoul
dn'
t
breat
heHlehl
e.Hisknee.
..
",shesobsandIlayher
headonmyl apandIbrushherhair.
"
Hiskneerest
ri
ctedmef
rom gett
ingoxygenint
omy
l
ungs.He'
dcallmeawhore.Alowgradestri
pper.
"
Shelet
'shersel
fcry.Ij
ustsootheher.She'
sinpai
n
andheracknowledgingthati
saf i
rststept
omaybe
aheali
ngjourney.
"HesaidImadehi m angry.He' dsayitwasmyf aul
t
hebeatmeup.He' dsayitwasbecausehel ovedme.
Butloveknowsnopai nHlehle.AllIdidwasl ove
him andrespecthim.Itr
iedmyl evelbestt
omake
him happy.Heliedtome.I twasntmyf aul
t.He
wasn'tmanenought ofi
ghthi sdemonsbuti nst
ead
hefoughtme. "
Inoddedatherwordsandshecarr
iedoncryi
ng.I
hadstoppedwipi
ngmyt ear
s.Thedooropenedand
Sanel
ecamei n.
"
Mama.Aunt
y.Ni
ri
ght
?"(
Y'al
lokay?
)
Inoddedandhelookedathi
sweepi
ngmot
her
.He
walkeduptoherandwipedhert
ear
s.
"
Don'
tcr
ymama.I
'
m sor
ryIcoul
dn'
tpr
otectyou.
"
Myhear
tbr
okeandNoxol
oshookherheadcr
ying.
"Youpr
otectedme.Youcal
ledt
hepol
icesomet
hing
Iwassoafraidt
odo."
Thesetwohaveal
waysbeencl
oseandseei
ngt hem
embraceeachot
hermadesmil
ethr
oughmyt ears.
"
OhandAunt yther
earet
womeni nthelounge
waivedforyou.MalumeBheki
khayaandMal ume
Khulekani
."
Il
ookathi m confused.WhatisBhekiandhi
s
brotherdoi
ngher e?Howdot heyevenknowwhich
BnBI '
m at?Icall
edhim andtoldhi
m what
happenedandhewasangr yt
hattherear
ementhat
hitwomen.Iwal ktotheli
tt
lesit
ti
ngroom.They
seatedthereontheirphones.
"
Hey.
"
Histhefi
rsttol
ookupandhesmi les.Thest
arsare
abitdull
.What'
swr ong?Ilookatt
hem andt hey
havebagsundert hei
reyes.Isi
tnexttoKhayaand
hejustpull
smei ntoahugandhol dsmet i
ght.His
r
eal
lynotokay.
"
Whatwr
ong?
"
"
Ineedyou.
"
"
I'
m her
e.What
'swr
ong?
"
"Mybr
otherisi
nacoma.What'
ssadi sifhedies
he'
l
ldi
ethinki
ngwedon'
twanthim nearus."
Il
ookatKhulekaniandhisl
ooki
ngatt
heot
her
couchwi
thoutbli
nking.
"
Howdi
dy'
al
lknowIwasher
e?"
"
That
sforanot
herday.Justhol
dme.
"
Ipullhimtometight
erandhesobs.I'veneverseen
him cryandi
tbreaksmyhear t
.Khul
ekanistandsup
andexcuseshimself.I
tsatoughmomentf orthem.
Bythewayheal waystalksabouthi
sbrothersI
knowhowhel ovesthem.
"I
tsgoi
ngtobeokay.Pr
ay.Not
hingi
saspower
dul
asGod."
Hewi
peshi
stear
sandhel
ookssot
ir
ed.
"
Come.
"
Ihel
phim upandleafhi
mtomyr
oom.It
akeof
fhi
s
shoesandlayafl
eeceonhi
m.
"
Sleep.
"
"
Wher
e'sKhul
ekani
?"
"
Il
lgol
ookf
orhi
m.Sl
eep.
"
Iki
sshi
m andleavehimtor
est
.Igoout
sideandI
fi
ndKhul
ekanismoking.
"
Yourbr
otheri
ssl
eepi
ng.Isuggestyoudot
oo.
"
Henodsandputshi
scigarret
eout.Het akesthe
couchandIgi
vehi
m afleeceaswel l
.Isitdownand
textAmandat
ocheckuponher .Ihopet hepeopl
e
i
nbot ht
heser
oomsheal.Ikneeldownandbow
head.
"
God.Idon'
thavemucht
oask.
",Ist
artmypr
ayer
.
37
AFEW WEEKSLATER
KUHLEKONKE
AmandaandSanelewentt
obuyussomef
ri
ed
chi
ps.Noxol
oref
il
lsourwi
negl
asses.
"
Soyouj ustdeci
dedt
obuyshar
esandinvesti
n
KhuzwayoLawandOr der
?Wow.I'
m pr
oud."
"Iwasnervousatfir
st.Imeant
heboardmembers
areveryscaryandthemainsharehol
derKhuzwayo
Seniori
ssoscar yandhekeptaski
ngme
questi
ons."
"
Soyouspental
loft
hemoney?Soqui
ck?
"
Il
aughandshakemyhead.
"
No.It
ransf
err
edsomei
ntoAmandasaccount
."
"
Smar
t.I
'
m happyf
oryou.Youl
ookhappi
er.
"
"
Iam.I
'
m gl
adt
hatmor
oni
sbehi
ndbar
s."
Shenodsandt akesagul pofherwi ne.Shehasn' t
healedandshe'satt
endingtherapy.Shehasmadea
greatfr
iendoutofKhulekaniandwet houghtthey
weredat i
ngbuttheydon'tevenseeeachot herthat
way.
"Afri
endofmi nefrom Gautengjustmovedhere.I'
m
meet i
nghert oday.I'
dli
keitifshecameherfor
dinnerinst
eadconsi deri
ngIhaven'tf
oundapl ace
andI '
m sti
llnotcomf or
tabl
ewi t
hpubli
cplaces.Isit
okay?
"
"
Thatwoul
dbeni
ce.I
'
llt
ryoutt
hisnewr
eci
peI
f
oundonli
ne.
"
"
Noi
tsokay.I
'
llcook.
"
"Comeon.I
tsaneasyIndi
anchi
ckencur
ry.I
promi
seIwon'tr
uindi
nner.
"
Shelooksatmeandmakest
hatsl
urpi
ngsound
wit
hherwine.
"
Comeon.I
'
lldoi
tri
ght
."
"You'
llst
artearl
ysoi
fitbackf
ir
esI
'
m or
der
ing
Chinesefood."
"
Argh.I
'
llpr
oveyouwr
ong.
"
Shelaughsandstar
tsdancing.Ijoi
nherandwe
danceli
kenobodyiswatching.She'
sagr eatf
ri
end
andseeinghersmil
emakesmyhear tdance.The
ki
dsenterandwestarteat
ing.
"
Sanel
e.AuntTshegoi
scomi
ngl
ateron.
"
"
Real
ly?Yes!
"
"
AndAuntKuhl
ewi
llcook.
"
"
Oh?Uhwow.Can'
twai
t.
"
"
Comeonguys.Al
it
tl
efai
thi
nme?
"
"Wel
lSi
si.Youei
therbur
noryoureggsar
eraw.
So.
..
"
"
Ipr
omi
sey'
al
ltoni
ght
'sdi
nnerwi
llbet
ast
y."
"
Ohmy!I
'
m cal
li
ngBhut
itodi
ewi
thus.
"
"
Mxm.
"
Isul
kanddr
inkmywi
ne.Theyl
aughanddance.

UNYEZI
Iwal ki
ntohiswardandhei sstari
ngatther oof
.I
standbyt hedoorl
ooki
ngathi m andhehasn' t
noticedmeyet.Icl
oset hedoorandhel ooksatme.
Themooni sdul
landtheoceani sti
red.Istandnext
tohisbedandwej ustlookateachot her
.
"
Unyezi
.I'
m sor
ry.
"
Il
ookathi
m astear
swellupandIsi
tdown.Ihand
hi
mthecontai
nerandhethanksme.
"IknowI'vewrongedyou.Imadeitworseby
runningaway.Ibrokeyourhear
taft
erIpromi
sedt
o
protecti
t."
"
Whydi
dyoudoi
t?"
HelooksatmeandIt
hinkit
sgoingtobeoneof
t
hosedayswherehedoesn'
tanswerme.
"
Idon'
tknow.I
tjusthappened.I
-"
"
Youdon'
tknow?
"
"
Unyezi
.Letmet
alk.
"
Inodandsi
tpr
operl
yrubbi
ngmybel
ly.Hel
ooksat
mybell
yandInot
icehi
m smil
e.
"I
thappenedonce.Shewasaneventpl annerIhad
hiredf oryoursur prisebabyshowerwhi chIguess
didn'thappen.Weusedt otalkandI '
dtellhermy
wor riessinceyouwer eal waysbusyandIdi dn'
t
wantt osoundsel fish.Itwasmeani ngl
esssexandI
don' tevent akeittomi nd.IneverthoughtI '
ddot his
toyou.Inevert houghtI 'dbreakyourhear tli
kethis.
WhatIf earedthemosti syoul eavingmesoIr an
bef oreyoudi d.Iwant edt odieinthatcaraccident
soyouandmyf amil
ycanf eelbett
erwithout.I
boughtshameunt omyf at
herandmybr other.I
brokeyourheart
.Putt
ingmyki datrisk.I
'mr eal
ly
sorryUnyezi
.I'
l
lunderst
andi fyouwantt oleave
me."
Iwi
pemyt
ear
sandt
akehi
shand.
"Il
oveyouUnyezi
.You'
ret
hebestt
hingt
hatever
happenedtome.It
aint
edt
hepurethi
ngwehave.
I'
m sor
ry.
"
"Langa.You'
r egoi
ngtomakemef eell
ikeacl
own
causeIstil
lloveyou.Ist
il
lwantt
oli
einyourhands.
I.
..
",Il
etouradeepbr eat
h.
"Iwil
lnevertrustyouthesame.Myl ovethouwi l
l
neverchanget hou.Youpr omi sedtobepat i
ence
withmebut ..
.I'
vecriedandt alkedtoDrSamboand
Ifeelbett
er.IneverthoughtI'
dat tendtherapyagain.
Youal mosttookmebackt ot hatdarkplace.I
almostkill
edyouLanga.Youal mostdied.Andnext
ti
meyout hi
nkofcheat i
ngonmer emembert his.I
cookf oryou.I'
l
lpoisonyouandbur yyouunderour
bed."
Helooksatmewi
deeyedandhecanseeI
'
m not
pl
aying.
"
CanIhol
dit
?"
Ipullmychaircloserandherubsmyt ummy.My
babystartskicki
ngandIsmi l
einvol
untar
il
y.Ihave
for
givenhimf ormysakebutIhaven'tfor
gott
en.I
don'
ttrusthim.I'
llbewatchi
nghiseverymove.

KHULEKANI
Weparkinsi
deKuhl
esyar
dandwesi
tint
hecarf
or
asecond.
"
Langasai
dhei
sget
ti
ngdi
schar
gedi
ntwodays.
"
"
Hel
ooksl
ikehi
sdead.
"
"Hi
ssti
llt
ryi
ngtoapologi
zet
oUnyezi
.Ihopet
hey
pul
lthr
ough.Theyneedeachot
her
."
Inodandwel
ightourci
gar
ett
es.
"
Yout
hinkDadi
sseei
ngsomeone?
"
"
Whywoul
dyousayt
hat
?"
"Iwentt
ohi
shousefewdaysagoandIcoul
dhear
moansbroandthewaythatper
sonwasscr
eami
ng
shewasgett
ingi
tgood.
"
Bhekil
aughsandIj
oinhi
m.
"
Dad?Seni
orKhuzwayo?Iwantt
omeett
his
woman.
"
"
Bro.Ir
anoutoft
hathousel
i
kecast
ersemenya.
"
"
Uyaphaphanawe!Bowuyaphi
?"(Youar
eal
so
f
orward!Wher
ewereyougoing?)
IlaughasIgetoutoft hecar.Weknockandl et
our selves.Thefi
rstt
hingwedoi ssnifft
heamazi ng
smel l.TheysaidKuhlewascooki ng.There'
snoway
i
twoul dbesmel l
ingthisgood.Wewal kintothe
kitchenandshei swi t
hNoxol oandaver ybeauti
ful
thickyel l
owbone.
"
Ladi
es.
",wegr
eet
.
Bhekiki
ssesKuhl
eandIhi
ghthet
woladi
esandI
l
if
ttheunknowngir
lupabi
tcausi
nghert
osqueal
.
"
Hai
bonj
aloKhul
ekani
."
,Noxol
osayseyei
ngme.
Il
aughandshel
if
tshergl
assatmewal
kingaway.
She'
sdoi
nggoodandsheseemst obeget t
ing
bet
ter
.Wedealtwithherboyfr
iend.Bhekihassome
menontheinsi
der uff
lehi
m up.Mendon' thit
women.Youdealwi t
hyourwomani nbedandi fno
manknowsthisthantheyshouldn'
tbeconsi der
ed
men.
"
I'
m Khul
ekani
."
,Isaysmi
li
ng.
"
I'
m Tshegof
atso.
",shesaysavoi
dingeyecont
act
.
I'
m maki
ngheruncomfort
abl
esoIsoftenmygaze
andshelooksatme.Agaspescapesherplumplips
andIeyethem.Whyisshemakingmef eell
iket
his?
"
Yourcont
act
sar
ebeaut
if
ul.Iwantt
hem.
"
"
Mycont
act
s?"
I
'
m ver
yconf
usedbutsheseemst
akenbymyeyes.
"
Yes.Theyhavearai
nbow.I
tssobeaut
if
ul.Il
ove
r
ainbows.Ihaveat
att
ooofi
t."
"
Wai
twhat
?"
Bheki
khayal
ooksatmeasIl
ookathi
m conf
used.
"
Whatdoyouseei
nhi
seyes?
",heasksher
.
Shel
ooksatme,Kuhl
e,Khayaandmeagain.She'
s
st
art
ingt
ofeell
ikeafoolandshedoesn'
tli
kei
t.
"
Arai
nbow.Wai
t.Y'
al
lai
n'tseei
ngt
his?
"
"
Onl
yyoucan.
"
ShelooksatBheki
khayaconfusedandheshr
ugs
pul
li
ngKuhleoutoftheki
tchen.
"
Whatj
usthappened?
"
"
I'
dexpl
ainbuti
tst
ooear
ly.Nowshowmet
hat
t
att
oo.
"
Shesmil
esandli
ft
shersl
eeveup.I
tst
her
ein
col
our
sanditl
ooksbeaut
if
ul.
"
Doyouhaveanyt
att
oos?
"
"YesIdo.Ihaveal
otact
ual
ly.You'
l
lseet
hem when
youundressme."
Shechokesonherwineandcoughs.Shesi
psher
wineagai
ntocal
m hersel
fdown.
"
What
?"
"
Youhear
dmeper f
ectl
ythef
ir
stt
ime.Don'
twor
ry.I
won'
tsmashyouyet
."
Iopent
hepot
sasshel
ooksatwi
thhereyeswi
de.
"Bathongabut
iowat
swenwahl
e."(
Thi
sguyi
s
crazy.)
"Idon'
tspeaknowunder
standSot
ho.St
ickt
o
Engli
shwithme."
Il
ickmyf
inger
sandKuhl
ewal
ksi
n.
"
Khul
ekani
!"
ShesmacksmyhandasIam aboutt
ogr
abapi
ece
ofchi
cken.
"
Phuma.
"
ShepushesmeoutandIwi
nkatTshegof
atso.I
wonderhowdoesonepr
onouncet
hatname.
"
NaweTsegoyoul
ett
inghi
m openuppot
s."
IlaughasIknowt hatnamei sn'tpronouncedli
ke
that.Ileavet
hem andsitwit
ht heot her
s.Sanel
e
sitsnexttomeandwedooursecr ethandshake.
Ther apyseemstobegoi nggoodf orhim andhis
mom.
"
Baf
o?"
"
We'
l
ltal
kathome.
"
Henodsandget sbackt oli
steningt
oSanelet al
k.
Amandai sshowingmepi cturesofhernewdi sh
she'sgoingtobecooking.Thi sonelovescooking
andpoorKuhl ejumpedt hegunbuthercooki ng
todaytastesdeli
cious.
38
TSHEGOFATSO
Il
ookaroundandever
yonei
slaughi
ngatKhul
ekani
andBheki
khayasj
okes.
"IneverthoughtKuhl
ecancookamealandwe'
d
actuall
yeatit.
"-
Bheki
khaya
Theyl
aughandKuhlei
ssul
king.Myphoner
ings
andIsmil
easthenamepopsup.
"
Excuseme.
",
Idi
srupt
.
Ist
andupanswer
ingt
hephone.
"
Babe.
"
Igot
otheki
tchen.
"
Youar
ri
vedsaf
e?"
-Tshepo
"Yes.I
'm havi
ngdinnerwi
thaf
ewf
ri
endsandI
'
m
enjoyi
ngit.They'
resowar
m."
"
I'
m sogl
adyou'
real
ri
ght
."
"
Met
oo.
"
"
IloveyouandI
'
m comi
ngt
ovi
sitmont
hend.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.Imi
ssyoual
ready.
"
"
Okaybye.
"
"
Bye.
"
Wedr opt hecallandIsmi l
e.Tshepoissuchani ce
guyandmyDadl i
keshim.I'
m goingtomi sshi
mI
havet oadmit.Iwal kbacktotheother
sand
KhulekaniislookingatmeandIdon' tli
ket hel
ook
hi
sgi vingme.Isi tdownandNoxol osmilesatme.
"
Tshepo?
"-Noxol
o
"
Yeah.Hewaschecki
nguponme.
"
Shenodsandwegetbackt oeati
ng.Ihavetogiveit
toKuhl
eherfoodtast
eddel i
cious.Theguysofferto
washthedi
shesandI'm shocked.Iwast aughtthat
amanshouldneverli
ftafingeraroundthehouse
causehebr
ingsfoodtothet
able.Sanel
eiscli
ngi
ng
tomeandhissleepybuthedoesn'
twanttoletme
go.
"
You'
resl
eepy?
",
Iasksof
tl
y.
Heshakeshi
sheadandl
ayshi
sheadonmychest
agai
n.
"
SoTsegowhatmadeyoumoveher
e?"
-Kuhl
e
"School.Iwant
edtobef
arf
rom Dadandhi
s
control
li
ngself
."
"
Hest
il
lthi
nksher
unst
hewor
ld?
"-Noxol
o
"
Youknowhi
m wel
l
."
"
Sohowol
dar
eyou?
"-Kuhl
e
"
I'
m 21.
"
"
Howdoyoupr
onounceyourname?
",Kuhl
easksm
"
Tshego.Tshe-
go.
"
"
Tshi
go.
",
shet
ri
es.
"
No.
",Isayl
aughi
ng.
"
HayiIgi
veup.
",
shel
aughs.
"
Justcal
lmeMal
uda.
"
"
Mal
udasoundsbet
terbutgangst
er.
"-
Kuhl
e
"
Iknow.Letmet
aket
hisf
ell
owt
obed.
"
Il
if
thim upandNoxolopoi
ntsmetoar oom.Ilay
hi
m downont hesi
nglebedwit
hspiders.Helooks
j
ustli
kehisfat
herpi
tyhi
sanasshole.Iwalkout
andtheguysareget
ti
ngreadytol
eave.
"Tshego.Youcangetali
ftf
rom t
heguys.They'
l
l
dropyouof fatr
es.
"-
Kuhl
e
"
Wehavesomewher et
obe.Wecan'
tdr
opherof
f.
",
Khul
ekanicut
sin.
"
Nowedon'
t.
",Bheki
khayaar
gues.
TheylookateachotherandKhul
ekaniwalksout
.I
don'
tgiveagiveafuckabouthi
m.Asl ongasI'
m at
myroom otl
aepona(he'l
lseehi
mselfout.
)
"
We'
l
lcomehel
pyoumovei
ntomor
row.
"-
Noxol
o
Inodandhugt hem.If
ollowtheguysandgeti
nthe
backseat.Iputinmycoor di
nat
esintheGPSand
Bhekikhayastart
sdri
ving.
"SoSegoyou'
reSot
ho?"
,Bheki
khayat
ri
esget
ti
ngr
id
ofthet
ensi
oninthecar
.
"
No.I
'
m Tswa-
"
Khulekaniput
st hevolumeonmaxandst ar
ts
movinghishead.Il ookathim andshakemyhead.
Hisveryrude.Isitbackandgetbackonmyphone.
Thisisgoingtobeal ongride.

UNYEZI
Ihel
phi
m ont
othebed.
"
Ouch.
",
Langaexcl
aims.
Ii
gnor
ehi
m andputhi
sbagdownandhel
aysback
gr
oani
ng.
"
Doyouneedanyt
hingt
odr
ink?
",Iaskhi
m.
"
No.Ij
ustwantt
osl
eep.
",
hedecl
ines.
"
Aft
eryourmedi
cat
ion.Letmedi
shupf
oryou.
"
Heshakeshi
sheadvi
gor
ousl
y.
"
No!Uhm.
..I
'
mful
l.
",
hesaysr
ushi
ngl
y.
"
Iwon'
tpoi
sonyounow.
"
"
Uhm.
..Okay.
"
Il
eavehi
mther
eandIdi shupf
orhi
m.Igetavi
sion
andIst
opwhatI
'm doi
ng.
"
Unyezi
!"
Thevisi
onendsandIrubmyeyes.Igi
vehi
m hi
s
foodandhelooksatme.
"
You'
reokay?
"
"No.Ijusthadavi si
on.Thet hr
onei sati
tsdownfal
l.
Ialwayshavet hesevisionsandt heyal
waysleave
medi str
aught.I'
m scared.Idon'tknowhowt ofi
ght
forthethrone.WhatifIf ai
l?
"
"Don't
.Don'
tthi
nkl
iket
hat
.You'
l
ldoi
t.Don'
tbe
scared."
Isi
tdownandIfeelhim hol
dmyhand.Il
ookathi
m
andhesmil
es.Imissedhissmi
le.
"
Iwi
llt
rymyl
evelbestt
osuppor
tyounow.
"
"You'
vealwayssuppor
tedme.Youj
ustl
etyour
sel
f
getdi
str
acted.
"
Henodsandeat s.Heisheali
ngwellbuti
t'
llal
ltake
ti
me.Isitnextt
ohim andhefeedsme.He'llnever
stophi
swaysoft hinki
ngI'
m hischi
ld.

KHULEKANI
"
Sowhatar
eyoupl
anni
ngondoi
ng?
"-Bheki
khaya
"Idon'
tknowbutnomanwi
llbehavi
ngmygi
rl
."
,I
saypissed.
Igetoutoft
hecarandbangthedoor.Iopent
he
doorandUnyezii
swashingdi
shes.
"
Hey.
"
"
Heyy'
al
l.
",
shegr
eet
sus.
Weal lr
ubhertummybef or
er unni
ngupstair
s.We
fi
ndhi mlayi
ngonhisbackwi thhi
seyesclosed.We
allf
indaplacetosi
tint
her oom andheopenshi s
eyes.
"
Baf
o."
,Isaysl
appi
nghi
sknee.
Hesi
tsupandgr
oans.
"
Easyt
her
esol
dier
."
-Bheki
khaya
"
Howyou'
vebeenhol
dingup?
",Iaskconcer
ned.
"
Okay.Andyoual
l?
",Langaasks.
"
We'
vebeen.
..okayIguess.
",
Ianswer
.
Wegr
owsi
lent
.
"
Sotel
lusDeathRider
.Whenar
eyouget
ti
ngt
o
wor
k?"
,Bheki
khaya
"
AssoonasIcanmovear
oundwi
thoutpai
n."
,Langa.
"Dadhasbeencomplai
ningaboutt
hemi nesnot
beingcheckedonandwe'r
ealwaysbusy."
,If
il
lhi
m
i
n.
"
I'
llbeget
ti
ngbacksoon.Hopef
ull
y."
,Langa
"
HasDadcomet
oseeyou?
",
Bheki
khayaasks.
"
No.Hi
sst
il
langr
yatme.
",
Langasayssadl
y.
"
He'
l
lcomear
ound.
",
Bheki
khaya
"
Ithi
nkhi
snewgi
rlhashi
m byt
hebal
ls.
",
Isay.
Theyl
aughandLangal
ooksatme.
"
Wellt
alki
ngaboutthi
smakesmegot hr
oughthat
t
raumaagainbutcauseyou'
remybr
otherI
'
llt
ell
you.
",
Itel
lhi
m.
Imoveandsi
tnextt
ohi
m.
"SoIwenttoBabaspl acetoaskhim aboutaf
ew
thi
ngsattheconstructi
on.Iwalkinwit
hthat
BusinessGuruwalkandIhearmoans.Ist opand
l
isten.Al
lI'
m hear
ingis"Fuckmehar der!
"
Ngashayai360samet i
me."(
Iran.
)
"
What
?SoBabai
sget
ti
ngi
t?"
,Langaasksl
aughi
ng.
"
Har
dbr
o.'
Ohyess!OhyesDaddy!
'"
Weal
llaughandUnyeziknocks.
"
Shoul
dIdi
shupf
ory'
al
l?
",Unyezi
"
Yes.
",Iam t
hef
ir
stt
osay.
Bheki
khayal
ooksatme.
"
Didn'
tyoueatbef
orewecameher
e?"
,Bheki
khaya
"
Thatwasanhourago.I
'
m hungr
ynow.
"
Heshakeshi
shead.
"Metoo.
",
Bheki
khayasayscausi
ngmet
olookat
him.
"
Oho.Wer
en'
tyouonmycasesecondsago?
"
"
I'
m agr
ownmanKhul
ekani
.Ineedf
ood.
"
"
Ndabenkhul
u?"
,Bhekisayswavi
ngmeof
f.
Henodsandshewal
ksout
.
"
Unyezi
."
,Langacal
l
sout
.
Shet
urnsbackandl
ooksatLanga.
"
I'
m al
sohungr
y."
,het
ell
sher
.
Sheput
sherhandsonherwai
standhesmi
les.
Guesst
hey'
reongoodt
ermsagain.
"
Youat
eaf
ewmi
nut
esago.
",
Unyezi
"
Thatwasn'
tenough.
",
Langa
"
Yoh!Ni
yadl
ashame.
"(Y'
al
leat
.)
,Unyezi
Sheleavesusandwest
artbombar
dinghi
m wi
th
questi
ons.
"
Soy'
al
lokaynow?
",mynoseyassasks.
"
Notenti
rely.Ist
il
lhavet
ost ar
tfr
om t
hebegi
nni
ng
wit
hhertrust.
",
hesayssoft
ly.
"
Ithoughtshewasgonnal
eaveyour
ass.
",
Bheki
khayachi
mesi
n.
"Sheshoul
d've.
",Ndabenkhul
usaysaf
terhi
sbeen
soquiet
.
"
Baf
o.You'
reokay?
",Iaskhi
m.
"
Yeah.
",hesaysdi
smi
ssi
vel
y.
"
Tal
k."
,Bheki
khayaur
ges.
Hesi
ghsandr
ubshi
sface.
"WhatifI
'
llnevermeetmyone?
",Ndabenkhul
usays
def
eated.
Weal
lkeepqui
etsincewe'
veal
lfoundt
hem.Wel
l
mi
neisinarel
ati
onshi
psoletmekeepqui
et.
"
Pat
iencebaf
o."
,Bhekiadvi
ce'
s.
"IhavebeenBheki
.It
sbeenwaytoolong.Whati
fI
am notmeanttofi
ndone?"
,hesayst
iredl
y.
"
Youwil
l.Youj
usthavetowait.Lovef
indsyounot
t
heot
herwayaround."
,It
ellhi
m.
Lookatmebei
ngt
hel
oveGur
u.Si
kes!
"
Itsur
eist
aki
ngi
tst
imewi
thme.
",
Ndabenkhul
u
"Ihaveaplantocheeryouup.Howaboutaf ami
ly
dinner
.Welli
nvit
eKuhle,Noxol
o,Sanel
eand
Amanda.",
Isaysmili
ng.
"
AndSegot
oo.
",
Bheki
khayaadds.
Il
ookatBheki
khayaandcl
ickmyt
onguecausi
ng
hi
mtolaugh.
"Comeonbafo.You'
regivi
ngupalready?You
haven'
tevenst
art
ed.
",Ndabenkhul
usays.
"
Sheseemst
olovet
heguy.
"
"
Didshesayso?
",Bhekiasks.
"
No.
"
"
Manj
e?"
,Langaal
sochi
mesi
n.
Ndabenkhul
usi
tsupandl
ooksatme.Br
other
ly
advi
cecomingup.
"Gir
lsloveatt
ent
ion.Beaconst antnuisancebutina
goodway.Buyherf l
owers.Takeherondat es.
Compl i
menther.Don'tandIam serious.Don't
!Be
sexualtowardsher.Iknowy'al
l.Begent l
eandkind.
Treatherli
keafri
endandl etherfal
linloveonher
own.Mosti mportantl
ydon'tst
opdoi ngthiswhen
she'
syour
s."
,hesaysser
iousl
y.
Hesit
sbackandwealll
ookathi
m.I'
m defi
nit
ely
suret
hatwhenhemeetshi
sdest
inedhe'
llt
reather
good.
"ActuallyIjustnot
icedIneverdi
danyoft
hatwit
h
Unyezi .Ij
ustgaveherorgasms.Madehersmil
e
hereandt hereandgavehermymi l
li
onsmil
eand
shel ostit
.",
Langasayschuckli
ng.
Wealllaughandhi
ghf
ive.Ndabenkhul
ushakeshi
s
head.
"
Y'al
lar
eyourf
ather
ssons.
",
Ndabenkhul
u
"
Wel l
orgasmsdomakewomenhappydon'
t
i
t?"
,Bheki
khaya
"
Itdoesbutsexi
sover
rat
ed.
",
Ndabenkhul
u
Wealll
ookathim andhemoveshi
schaircloserto
us.Bef
orehecancarryont
alki
ngUnyeziwalksin.
"
Dinneri
sready.
",
shesayssmi
li
ng.
"
Wear
ecomi
ng.Thankyou.
",
Langa
Shel
eavesagai
nandwet
urnourat
tent
ionbackt
o
Mr'
Sexi
sover
rat
ed'
.
"
Okay.Howwassexbef
oreUnyezi
?",
heasksLanga.
Weal
ltur
ntol
ookatLangaandhej
ustshr
ugs.
"
Justsexman.
",
heanswer
s
"
Bheki
?",
Ndabenkhul
uaskshi
mtoo.
"
Idon'
tknowman.
",
Bhekianswer
sshr
uggi
ng.
"
Iwon'
taskyouK.
",
hesays.
Igi
vehi
m mymi
ddl
efi
ngerandhechuckl
es.
"Nowtellmeaboutt
hecur
rentsex.
"hesaysl
ooki
ng
atLanga.
"
Noman.I
'
m nott
ell
ingyouaboutmysexl
if
e."
Weal
llaugh.
"
I'
m notaski
ngf
ordet
ail
s."
,Ndabenkhul
u
"
Okay.I
tsgreat.I
tal
waysl
eavesmef
ulf
il
led.Man
i
tsaddi
cti
ng."
,Langa
"
Yetyoucheat
ed?
",Ndabenkhul
ubur
stst
hemood.
Hegi
veshi
mthe'
wtf
'lookandweal
lshr
ug.
"
Y'al
lsee?Sexwithsomeoneyoulovei
sbeautif
ul.I
j
ustcan'twai
tfori
t.
",
Ndabenkhul
ucarr
ieson.
Hestandsupbrushi
nghi
shandsonhi
sjeansand
sl
apsLangasheadonhiswayout
.
"
Ouch!
",
Langa
Weal lstandupandLangagruntshi
swayoutof
bed.Imi ssedt
hesemoment swit
hmybrot
hers.
Theyj ustmademefeelbet
ter.
39
UNYEZI
"Whyareyouscar
edoftel
li
ngyourbrot
hers?You
sayhesawthemountai
nsinyoureyes?"
,Iask
Thando.
"
I'
m deal
ingwi
thalotr
ightnow.Yes.Ican'
tbel
ieveI
metmydesti
nedthi
searly.
",
shesaysjoyf
ull
y.
"I'
m happyforyousthandwa.Whateveryou'
regoi
ng
throughyou'l
lcomet hr
ough.Youalsocantel
lme
anything.Wheneveryoufeelr
eady.
"
"
Iknow.Ij
ust
..
.Ineedt
ime.
",
shesayssof
tl
y.
Whati
sgoingonThando?Wesayourgoodbyes
anddr
opthecal
l.
"
Wast
hatThando?
"
It
urnaroundatt
hesoundofLangasvoi
ceandhe
smil
es.Heseemsbett
ert
oday.
"
Yes.Ar
eyouokay?
",Iaskwor
ri
ed.
"
Yes.Ar
eyouokay?
",heasksme.
"
Yes.I
'
m wor
ri
edaboutThandot
hou.
"
"Ihaven'
ttal
kedt
ohersi
ncet
heconf
ront
ati
on.
",
he
sayslooki
ngaway.
Iwonderhowl
ongishegoi
ngtowal
kar
oundwi
th
thi
sshameonhisshoul
der
s.
"
Y'al
lshoul
dcheckuponher.Y'
al
lal
waysf
orgether
.
I
t'
sli
keshe'snotpar
tofy'
al
l.
"
Helooksatmeandr
ubshi
schi
nbef
oresi
tt
ing
down.
"
Webadbr
other
sar
en'
twe?
",
heasks.
"Yesy'
al
lare.Y'
al
laresocaughtupinyour
brot
herl
ylovey'
allf
orgether
.Alotofpeopl
edon'
t
evenknowy'al
lhaveasistercausey'
al
lcasther
aside.
",
Isaysi
tt
ingnextt
ohi m.
Hebr
usheshi
sheadandsi
ghs.
"
I'
lll
ett
heguysknow.We'
l
ltal
ktoher
."
,
Inodandl
aymyheadonhi
sshoul
der
.
"
Canwecuddl
e?"
,Langa.
Inodandhel aysdownont hesofa.Il
ayont
opof
him car
eful
lywit
houthur
tinghim.Itakei
nhi
saf
ter
shaveandcologneandsigh.
"
Theki
dsar
ecomi
ngbackSunday.
",It
ellhi
m.
HonestlyI'
vemi ssedthem butIneededsometi
me
alone.Wet alkonthephoneandLangai snott
aking
theseparationwell.
"
Theyknow?
",heaskswar
il
y.
"
No.Theyknowaboutyouracci
dentonl
y."
Henodsandki
ssest
het
opofmyhead.
"
I'
m sor
ry.IknowIhur
tyou.
",heapol
ogi
ses.
"
Wehavet
ofi
xwhat
'sbr
oken.Wehaveal
ongway
t
ogobutwecandoi
t.
",Isayr
ubbi
nghi
shand.
Wel ayinsi
lenceineachothersarmsandour
breathesi
nsync.We'rerubbingeachot
her
shands
absentmindedly.

KHULEKANI
Iknockonherdoorandsheshoutsfrom t
heother
si
de.Iremovemyselff
rom t
hewallandstand
str
aight
.I'
m nott
ryi
ngtol
ookcocky.Sheopenst he
doorsmili
ngandherexpr
essionchangesassoon
assheseesme.Guessshe'snotmuchofaf an.
"
HeySeho.
",Igr
eetgi
vingmybestsmi
le.
"Tshego.
",
shecor
rect
smei
rr
it
abl
y.
Ifeelmysmil
ewaverasIgetpi
ssedandIfeelmy
eyetwit
ch.Cal
m downKhul
ekani
.Ipl
astert
hesmile
again.
"Ican'
tpronounceyourname.Iboughtt
hesef
or
you.",
Isayhandingherthef
lowers.
"
Whosai
dIl
ikef
lower
s?Shoul
dIeatt
hem now?
"
It
akeadeepbr
eat
hinandr
unmyhandovermy
wavyhai
r.
"Sor
ry.Idi
dn'
tknowwhatyoul
ike.
",
Isayascal
m as
Ican.
"That
scausewe'
renotf
ri
ends.
",shesayswi
th
att
it
ude.
Irollmyneckandlookupwi thmyeyescl osed.I
knewt aki
ngNdabenkhulusadvicewon'tdoitforme.
IfIstayheret
henextfewmi nutesI'
m goingtofuck
somemanner sint
oher .Il
ookatherandshe' s
l
ooki ngatme.Iwal
kawayandl eaveherthere.I
turnbackaroundandshe'sstandingatthedoor.
"Lalel
aNkosazana.I'
mj ustt
ryi
ngtobeni
ceand
si
nceyounewar oundhereI'
mtryi
ngtobeyour
fr
iend.Theleastyoucandoismeetmehalfway.
",
I
saysternl
y.
Shel
ooksdownandIkeepmyeyesonher
.
"I
'm sorr
y.Ithoughtyouhatedmesinceyouwere
veryrudelastti
me.",shesaysavoi
dingeyecont
act
.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
ort
hat
.Iwasbei
nganasshol
e.Luncht
o
makei
tupf
oryou?
"
"
Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
sagoodi
dea.Ihaveaboyf
ri
-"
"
I'
m notaskingforyourhandinmar
ri
ageher
e.Just
l
unchasfriends.
",
Icutheroff
.
"
Okay.When?
",sheaskssmi
li
ng.
Shehasabeaut i
fulsmi
leandthemostpr
ett
iestl
ips.
Shedoesn'thavemakeupontodayandsheis
beauti
ful
.Inoti
ceascaronherfor
eheadandIwant
totouchi
tsobadbutIIholdmyself.
"
Khul
i?
",shedi
stur
bsmyt
hought
s.
"
Khul
ekani
.Khul
e."
,Icor
recther
.
Shej
ustshr
ugsandsmi
les.
"Getdressedsowecanl
eave.Act
ual
lyyou'
ref
ine
l
ikethat.Let
'sgo.
"
Shel
ooksatherout
fi
tandshakesherherhead.
"
Noway!Letmewearsomet
hingl
ess
r
eveal
ing.
",
shedeni
es.
"
No.Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.You'
resaf
ewi
thme.
"
"
Butmyt
highs.Mycel
lul
it
e.No.
"
"
Idon'
tcar
e.Youhavebeaut
if
ult
highs.Let
'sgo.
"
Ipul
lherfr
om t
hedoorandsheshout
sforsomeone.
Agirl
peeksherheadoutt
hedoorasIpul
lherdown
thest
air
s.
"
Pleaset
urnof
fthest
ove!
",
sheshout
sout
.
Wegeti nt
omycarandwedr iveof
f.I'
mlooki
ng
str
aightaheadt ostopmyselffr
om l
ookingather
thi
ckashel lt
highs."Don'
tbesexual!
"Ndabesvoi
ce
screamsinmyhead.Fuck!
"Sowherear
egoi
ng?
",sheasksdr
awi
ngmy
att
ent
ion.
"
Tothet
axir
ank.
",
Ianswerl
ookingatherbef
ore
t
urni
ngmyatt
ent
ionbacktotheroad.
"
Taxir
ank?
"
"Yes.Theysel
lthebestt
ri
be.Thanwe'l
lgot
othe
parkandeat.Nothi
ngbig.
",
Isaysmil
ing.
"
ManIl
ovemogodu!
",sheexcl
aims.
"
Mogodu?
",Iask.
"
Yes.I
tst
ri
bei
nSeTswana.
"
"
Sot
ellmeaboutyou.Yourdi
sli
kesandl
ikes.
"
Ist
ealaglanceatherandheryel
lowt
highs.Ir
egr
et
makingherleavei
nthi
sshort.
"I
'm TshegofatsoThango.21years.Doingmyf
ir
st
yearinHumanBehavi our
.Idon'tl
ike
l
ies,
rudeness,hypocr
isyandanger.Ili
ke
food,music,
cars,
snakesandal otmore.
"
"Snakes?What
'syourf
avour
it
esnake?
",Iask
gri
nning.
"
Vinesnakes.
"
"
Shybutdeadl
y.They'
real
sover
ybeaut
if
ul.Ver
y
r
aret
osee."
"
Youknowvi
nesnakes?
"
"
Yeah.Il
ovesnakes.IhadapetPythonti
lli
tgrew
l
argeandgavei
tupt otheNat
ionalPar
kbutI '
m
t
racki
ngit
smovement s."
"
Wow.I
'
dli
ket
oseei
t.
",shesaysexci
tedl
y.
"
I'
llchecki
tsmovement
sandi
fit
scl
osebyI
'
llt
ake
you.
"
Shesmil
esandsqueals.She'ssuchagoodvi be.
Get
ti
ngtoherwi l
lbef
un.IthinkIloveheralr
eady.
Pl
usshelovessnakessoshe'stheperfectmat ch.I
l
ookatherasIparknearMam' Thwalascontainer.
Shehasthemostbeauti
fulfaceandIcant el
lshe's
al
sobeauti
fulonthei
nsideaswel l
.

NOXOLO
Il
ookatSaneletalki
ngt oAmandaandt hey'r
e
l
aughing.Heseemshappyandf reeagain.Myheart
achesatwhatIlethim gothr
ough.Hesavedmyl if
e.
Hesawhi smotherbeingbeatenandst r
angled.
ThabangisbehindbarsandI'm happybutIfearthe
dayhegetsout.Ihavepeoplewhol ovemer ight
hereandIappreci
ateit
.
"
Okay.Comet
ast
ethi
s."
,Kuhl
edi
stur
bsme.
"
You'r
esoobsessedwithcooki
ngallofasudden.
Whatyoumake?Noodles?"
,Isayl
aughingandshe
t
hrowsthedi
shtowelatme.
"Noman!ImadeChi
ll
ichi
ckenbr
iyani
.Tast
e!"
,she
squeal
s.
OhlordwhomadeherdiscoverI
ndiandishes?
We'r
edyingofMsKar
ishmaher e!Itakeaspoon
andputsomeinmymout h.Icl
osemyeyesand
moan.
"
Isi
tgood?
",sheaskseager
ly.
Idon'
tanswerbutt
aket
hewhol
ebowlandeat
.
"
Comeon!I
tsgood?
",sheur
ges.
Inodwithamout hf
ul.Mr
sSil
angwewould'vebeen
soproudofherri
ghtnow.She'
satherhappiestand
I'
veneverseenherglowl
iket
his.
"
Yes!I
'
mt aki
ngsomeforKhaya.I'
m bri
ngi
nghim
l
unchsincehesaidhe'
llbechecki
ngthebooksat
t
heoff
ice.",
shesayski
ssingmycheek.
Inodandcar r
yoneati
ng.Il
ikehowKhayamakes
hersohappyandtogetoutofhercomfor
tzonea
bit
.Hi
shelpingunwrappart
sofherwe'
venever
knewexist
ed.
Mom.
",Sanel
egr
insatme.
Isqui
ntmyeyesathi
m.Whatdoeshewant
?
"
Sanel
e?Whatnow?
"
"
CanwegomeetAmandasboyf
ri
end?
",hebegs.
"
Sanel
e!"
,Amandashout
s.
"
Ohherf
ri
end.
",
hef
ixeshi
sst
atement
.
"
Amandasboyf
ri
endhuh?
",Kuhl
easks.
"Hisjustaf
ri
end.Heisdati
ngAmahle.
",Amanda
saysandIcantellshel
ikeshi
m buthi
salready
taken.
"
I'
lldr
ivey'
al
l.Ineedsomeai
ranyways.
",Ivol
unt
eer
.
Istandupandgetmykeys.Iputonahoodieonl
y
andsneaker
sonandleavewiththeki
dstext
ingt
his
'
fri
end'.
"Hesayshi
sathisunclesplaceinUmbilo.Hejust
gavemehisaddress.Healsohasal i
tt
lebrot
her
Sanel
esage.
",shesayspressingthecoordi
natesi
n.
Ijustnodanddrivethem.Iam goingt
opassbythe
bakeryaft
erthi
s.I'
llbakesomethi
ngtotakehome
there.Umbil
oisfortherichandhashi
ghwalls
surr
oundingpoolsandgl
asshouses.Ihavemycar
searchedatt
hegateandIsigni
n.Igetoutoft
he
carandlookatthi
shousethanatAmanda.
"
Yourfr
iendsuncl
eownsthi
s?"
,Iaskl
ooki
ngat
mysel
fatthegl
asswal
ls.
ShejustshrugsandSanel estart
sgoingonabout
howhisgoi ngdrawhousesl i
kethese.Hewantsto
beanar chit
ect
ureandhi sobsessionstart
edwhen
wewat chedHGt vandheneverl ookedback.Two
boyscomeoutandt hetall
eronelooksvery
femi
ninebutyoucan' tmissthestrongjawli
neand
hismasculineaura.Theyoungeronel ookscut
e
andrunst ohugAmanda.Hel ooksatSaneleand
hugshimt oo.Hisahugger .
"
Heysi
si.
",hegr
eet
sme.
"
Sisi
?Cal
lmeAunt
y."
,Il
augh.
Hesmi
lesandhugsmet
oobef
orepul
li
ngSanel
e
wi
thhi
mi nsi
de.
"SawubonaAunty.I
'
m Nkosi
nat
hiKhuzwayo.I
promiseyourni
eceissaf
einmyhands.
",hesays
seri
ously.
Hisaseri
ousyoungmanIsee.Il
ookatAmanda
andhercheeksar
ered.'
Hisj
ustafr
iends.
'She
wantshi
ml o.
"
Okayf
ana.I
syouruncl
ein?
"
"Yes.Heisinhisst
udy.Icant
akeyout
ohi
m."
,he
saysrespecti
vel
y.
Iwanttomeett hesekidsmot her
.They'r
erai
sed
well
.Weent ert
hehouseandheof f
ersmeadr ink
whichIdecli
ne.Manner s.Thishouseisbeauti
ful
andIfeell
ikeI'
m outofpl ace.Heknocksinthedoor
anditopensautomaticall
y.
"Ther
ehei s.We'
l
lbedownst
air
sAunt
y."
,hesays
andleaves.
Iwalkintothest
udyandt
hemaniswrit
ing
somet hi
ngdownandnotpayi
ngat
tent
iontomy
presence.
"
Sor
rysi
r.
",IsayandIcl
earmyt
hroat
.
Herai
sesapalm si
gnali
ngformetogivehi m asec.
WhenhisdonehesitsupandIseehisnicepsf l
ex.I
j
ustcameupwithawor d.Ni
cebiceps.Niceps.His
Adamsappl ebobsasheswal l
owsandIhavea
sil
entf r
eakmoment .Hehasdarklipsandhelicks
them causingdimplestofor
m andIfeelanorgasm
comi ngup.Hehasast rongjawli
nethatcanbreak
anacor n.ImeethiseyesandIclosemyeyes
quickly.
"
Shi
t!
",
Icussr
ubbi
ngmyeyes.
"Nkosazana.Khonai
nki
nga?
"(i
sther
eani
ssue?
),he
asksstandingup.
"Youreyes.They'
rebr
ight
.ManIthinkIwi
llbe
bli
nd."
,Isawithmyeyesstil
lcl
osed.
"
Openyoureyes.
",Ihearhi
svoi
cenearmyear
.
HeputsawarmlargehandonmybackandIsi
gh.
Hi
stouch.I
tssorefr
eshi
ng.
"
Openyoureyes.
",hesayssof
tl
yandhi
sbr
eat
hehi
s
myneck.
Iopenthem slowl
yandIrubthem.Il
ookathi
m and
thebr
ightnessdoesn'
taf
fectmyeyes.
"
Afuckenangel
."
,It
hinkoutl
oud.
Hechuckl
esandIl
ookdownshyl
y.
"No.Don'
tbeashamed.I
'
lltakei
tasa
compli
ment.
",
hesayssmili
ng.
Hi
sfaci
alf
eat
uresl
ookf
ami
li
ar.
"
Ndabenkhul
uKhuzwayo.
",hei
ntr
oduceshi
msel
f.
"Noxol
oKhumal
o."
Weshakehandsandanelectr
icalf
orcehi
tsusand
wepul
lback.Hesmil
esatthatandIseehiseyes
shi
mmerwithtear
s.
"
CanIhugyou?
",heasks.
"
Uhokay.
",Iagr
eewei
rdedout
.
Hetakesmei nt
ohisarmsandhegi
vesthebest
hugs.Hi
sl i
keahumansizedt
eddybear
.Hischest
emitswarmthandIsighsmel
li
nghi
m.Ipullaway
andhisfavefal
ls.
"I
'dli
ketoleavemynumbers.Il
eftmyni
eceand
sondownst ai
rs.Pl
easedocal
lmewhentheywant
toleave.
"
"
YesNoxol
o."
Iwr
it
edownmynumber
sont
hepaperonhi
sdesk
andbidgoodbye.Igeti ntomycaranddr iveoff.
Maybehehasaspaci aleyeconditi
onthatmakes
hiseyesl ookli
ket hesunt hanitsabeautiful
condit
ion.Hel ooksf amili
arthou.Li
keKhul ekani
andBheki khaya.I'
llaskKuhl efort
hesur name.He
saidhewasaKhuzwayo.Ishakemyhead.Focus
onyour selfNoxolo.Mybr aindoesntli
stenasi t
keepspl ayingthewhol eordealoverandoveragai n.
40
THANDOLWETHU
Ilookatmynewt at
tooont hemi rr
orandsmi l
e.I
haven'tbeenhomeandIt hinktheybet t
erof f
without.Iwal koutoft het attoopar l
ourandwal k
downt hest reetplayingwi thmyt onguepi ercing.I
walkintot hecaf énearandor dercoffee.Isi tdown
si
ppingmycof feeandl ookout sidethewi ndow.I
didn'
tgetmuchsl eepl astnightliketheot hernights.
Ishouldbeusedt oitbynowbutt hebagsundermy
eyesdon' tgounnot i
ced.Iseest udent swal kingt o
campusandIf ollowt heirfootsteps.I'
mj ust
anothergi r
latcampus.Myf amilyisthemost
ri
chestbutnobodyknowsI 'm partoft hem andi t
s
okay.Mybr othersareal
waysoncoverpageswi th
thei
rnamesonever ygir
lsli
ps.Ipul
lmyhoodi eover
myheadandwal kint
ocampus.Isitdownont he
fi
rstseatIcanf i
ndandlist
entotheprofessorgoon
aboutmet hodstohelpsuici
dalpati
ent
s.
Iwalkoutofschoolwi thit
chyeyesandt he
ti
rednesswei ghingheavilyonmyshoul ders.Isee
him againtodaypar kedacrossther oadandIst ar
t
walkingtowar dshim.WhenI 'm afewmet r
esaway
Sethuwal kstowar dshim andtheyki ss.Ifeelmy
heartbreakandIhol dbackthetears.Heseesme
andwal kstowar dsmewhenSet hui sint hecar.He
gri
psmyhandr oughlyandduet omyhi ghpain
tol
eranceIdon' tfeelmuch.Hehaswar m hands.
"Li
stenhere.Whathappenedt hatdaywasa
mistake.Forgetaboutthatki
ssyouli
ttl
efreak.I
don'tknowwhat swi t
hyoureyesbutthereis
nothingspecialaboutyou.St
opfoll
owingme
around."
,hesaysangr il
y.
"
Iwasn'
tfol
lowi
ngyouar
ound.
"
"
Idon'
tcar
e!"
,hel
ooksar
oundbef
orel
ower
inghi
s
voi
ce.
"Younotmytypeoftea.Youwon'tf
il
lmypocket
s.
Leavehoodgir
l.
",hesayspushi
ngmeaway.
Il
ookathi
m andsqueezehi
scheeki
nmyhand.
"
We'
l
lmeetagai
n.St
hembi
soMt
het
hwa.
"
Iletgoofhi scheekl eavingitredandwal kaway
l
eavinghi m surprised.AssoonasIgeti ntomy
apartmentIsl i
dedownandcr y.I '
vebeenar eject
mostofmyl ifebutt hiswashar dtotake.Hel i
ved
offri
chwomanandhei nstantlysawt hatIcoul dn'
t
afford.Ihaveal lt
hemoneyi nt hewor ld!Ican
affordhim!JustcauseIdon' tf l
auntitdoesn' tmean
Ican'thavet heoneper sonmeantf orme!It hrow
thevasenearagai nstt hewal landscr eam.I
disconnecttheTVandt hrowi tacrosst her oom.I
pullmyhai randscr eam.Scenar iosplayi nmyhead
andIl augh.Noonewi l
lhaveyouSt hembi soi fI
don't!Noone!Noonewant sme!Myphoner ings
andIl ookati t
.'Bhut iLanga.'Iwi pemyt earsand
answert hecal l
.
"
Bhut
i.
",Imanaget
omast
ert
hesof
testvoi
ce.
Maket
hem bel
ieveyou'
renor
mal
.
"Howar
eyou?Unyezit
oldmeyouwer
en'
tokay.
",he
sayswi
thwor
ry.
Soifshehadn'
ttol
dyout
hanyouwoul
dn'
thave
cal
led.Typi
cal
.
"
I'
m okay.Ihadf
lubuti
tscomi
ngal
ri
ght
."
"
Okay.We'
recomi
ngt
oseeyou.
",Langa.
Shi
t!
"
Okay.
"
Ilookar oundtheapar tmentandt hemessi s
cleanable.Istartpicki
nguppi ecescut t
ingmy
hands.Icl eanasbestIcoul dbutIcan'texplainthe
mi ssingTV.I'l
lcomeupwi t
hal i
e.Ialwaysdo.I
changei ntoanot herhoodieandswagpant shi di
ng
myt att
oos.Whatel se?Irunupst ai
rsandhi demy
pill
si nsi
demyspeakerandr unbackt othel i
ving
room andsi tont hecouchwi t
haf l
eeceandt akea
fewdeepbr eathes.Ihaven'ttakenmypi ll
sindays.
I'
llmanagewi t
houtt hem.Ijusthavet okeepupt he
sweethappysi steract.Iknowhowt omani pulate
soI
'
m notwor
ri
edaboutt
hem everknowi
ngt
her
eal
me.

NOXOLO
Iwakeupwi thathr
ustandl
ookaroundt
heroom.
It
sjustadream Noxol
o.Not
hingbutadr
eam.He
won'thur
tyou.
"
Areyouokay?
",Kuhl
easksyawni
ng.
"
Yeah.Justhadanot
herni
ght
mar
e."
"
It
shi
m agai
n?"
,shesi
tsup.
"Yes.Heki
ll
edmethi
sti
mear ound.Thecopsdidn'
t
come.Nobodycame.Heki
ll
edme. ",
IsayasIfeel
mychestclosi
ngup.
I
tfeel
srealasmymindpl
aysscenari
osinmyhead.
Hehashiskneeonmychestandhisshout
ing.
"
I'
llki
llyou!Youmakemeangr
y!"
,t
hevoi
cer
epeat
s
i
nmyhead.
Ifeelhandssnakear
oundmeandIj
umpoutofbed.
Inoticei
tsKuhle.
"
I'
m sor
ryKuhl
e."
"
No.I
tsnotyourf
aul
t.Br
eat
he.
",
shesayssoot
hingl
y.
It
akedeepbr
eat
hs.
"
Hisnother
etohur
tyou.
",shecar
ri
esoncal
ming
me.
Isi
tont hebedasmybr eathgetsbacktonormal.I
l
etoutawr et
chedsobandshepul lsmei nherarms.
She'slosi
ngsleepoverme.IneverknewI 'dreach
thi
sst agei
nmyl i
fe.Ihadmyl if
eplannedoutso
well
.Guessever ythi
ngbr eakswhenyouar etheone
buil
dingitandit
snotGod.

NDABENKHULU
Igetoutt
hecarreadytotel
lThandoandtheguys
goodnews.Wewal kinherapart
mentandshe'
s
sl
eepingonthecouch.Ther
eisnoTV.Langa
shakesherandshewakesup.
"
Heyy'
al
l.
",sheyawnsout
.
Inot
iceat
onguer
ing.That
snew.
"
Heysl
eepyhead.
",
Igr
eether
.
ShesneezesandIpasshertheti
ssuebox.Wesit
andInoti
cethebagsunderhereyes.Whenshe
rubshereyesInot
icescr
atchesonherhands.
"
Youhaveat
onguepi
erci
ng?
",Bheki
khayaasks.
Guessheal
sonot
iced.
"
Yes.Justwant
edt
otr
ysomet
hingnew.
",shesays
l
ooki
ngdown.
"What
'supwi
tht
hescr
atchesonyourhands?
",Iask
her
.
"
MyTVf el
landbroke.Icl
eanedi
tupandscr
atched
myhands.Iguessi
twasn'tst
abl
e."
Ilookatherandshedoesn' tseem alr
ight.She
keepscl enchi
ngherfi
stsandheremot i
onsare
shift
ing.She'shi
dingangerandshe'st r
yingtohar
d
thatshedoesn'tseethatshe'
sf ai
li
ng.
"Iknowwehaven' tbeenthebestbr
other
s.Al
ways
excludingyou.Youdon'thavet
ofeelal
one.We
here."
,Langa.
Shel
aughsandherl
ipt
wit
chesandshecl
enches
herf
ist
sti
ght
er.Somet
hingi
sn'
tri
ghther
e.
"
Thando?Am Imaki
ngaj
oke?
",Langaasks.
Hispushingwhateverangershehasandi t
'snot
good.I'
veneverseenherl i
ket hi
s.She'
salways
beenthequietandisolatedoneinthebunch.The
guysdon'tseem t
onot icethi
schangeofat t
it
ude.
I'
m moreofanobser verandt hanactaft
ersoIjust
si
tquietl
ylooki
ngatherandwat chingher
movement s.
"
We'r
ehavingdi
nnerSundayatKhul
ekani
shouse.
Howaboutyoucome?",
Bheki
khaya.
Hepissesherof
fandshebitesherl i
psandInoti
ce
bl
oodandshel i
cksitawayquickly.Howistheguys
notseethi
schangeofbehavior.Shescrat
chesher
headandherhoodiegoesupr eveali
ngatatt
oo.
"
Thando.I
sthatat
att
oo?"
,Khul
ekaniasksi
nchi
ng
t
owardswit
hhishandst
ret
chedout.
"Don'
ttouchmeBhuti
."
,hervoi
cecomesoutr
ough
andheget st
hemessageandretr
eat
s.
Thi
sisnott
heThandol
wet
huIknow.Isi
tupand
l
ookatherti
llshel
ooksmei ntheeye.Somethingis
cl
awingathersoulandbyherbehaviorIcantelli
ts
beeneat
ingatherforawhi
le.
"
Thando.What sgoi
ngonwit
hyou?Idontknowyou
l
iket
his.
",If
inall
yspeak.
"Y'
al
ldon'tknowme.Y'
alldon'
twantme!Nobody
does!
",shescreamsst
andingupandwealldotoo.
We'resoconfusedandshockedri
ghtnow.She
standsi
nfrontofmeandheaves.Ilookint
oher
eyesandthey'r
eemot i
onl
ess.Somethi
ngiswrong.I
needtocallKhuzwayo.
"You.Bi
gbr
other
.Whatcour
seam Idoi
ng?
",she
asksme.
"
Nur
sing?
",Iaskunsur
e.
Shemovest
oLanga.
"
What
'smyf
avour
it
ecol
our
?",
Thando
"
Grey.
",heanswer
s.
Shemovest
oBheki
khaya.
"Secondbor
nkaBaba.What
'smyf
ear
?",
Thando.
"
Spi
der
s."
,heanswer
sconf
ident
ly.
Shemovest
oKhul
ekaniandInot
iceanemot
ion.
Hope.
"
Zal
o.What
'
smydeepestsecr
et?
",Thando.
Theymaint
aineyecontactandKhulekanil
ooksat
usandshakeshishead.Whatsgoingonher e?
Thandonodsathim andhesit
sdownandcover s
hi
sface.
"YouhaveBipolar.Onlymamaknewabouti tand
whenshedi edshet oldme.Youfeelli
keyou're
l
ivingunderourshadowandyougr owoutofshale
becauseyou'r
ef i
ghtingtogetsunl
ightbutwei nt
he
way.",
hesaysandhel et
'soutadeepbr eat
hlikea
weighthasbeenof fl
oaded.
Hel
ooksatusandshakeshi
shead.
"She'sdoingherf i
nalyearinPsychologycauseshe
wantst ohelpwi t
hment ali
llnesses.Herfavouri
te
colourisblackcauseshef indspeacei nthedark.
Herwor stfearisdyingalonecauset hatshowshe
alwaysf el
tli
ke.She'snottheThandoy' allknow."
,
hesaysandwi pesast randtear.
Howcantheykeepsuchasecr
etf
rom us?Ar
ewe
r
eal
lyt
hatignor
ant?
"Wher
eisyourmedi
cine?
",Khul
ekaniasksheras
shest
art
scryi
ng.
"
Myhi
deout
."
,sheanswer
slaughi
ng.
Weal lstandt her
elooki
ngatherandprocessing
everythi
ng.Howdi dImissthi
s?Howdi dKhuzwayo
misst hi
s?Il ookatmybr ot
hersandwelook
defeated.Ifshamecouldsmel lt
hisnei
ghborhood
wouldst i
nk.
41
MONTHSLATER
NDABENKHULU
Wesignherf ormsandBheki khayahelpsherwit
h
herbagswhileKhulekanihelpsheri
nsidethecar.
Langadri
vesof fandwesi t
ti
ngi nsi
lence.She
seemsbetterthanthelastt
imewesawher .
"
Areyouokay?
",Bheki
khayaf
inal
lyasks.
Shelooksathim andnodssmil
ing.Imi
ssedher
smil
e.Ithoughtshehadlost
.WhenKhuzwayo
foundoutaboutThandossi tuationhewentcr azy.
Hespentaweekatt hevil
lageandt heysai dhe'd
spenddaysshout i
ngatmymom.Ourf ami l
yspl i
t
upandi fitwasntforUnyeziwe' dbel ostbeings.We
tookThandot oapsychiatri
chospi t
alandwevi si
ted
hereandt here.Thefir
stfewmont hswi t
houther
wer ehar d.Unyeziwassadshewasntt herewhen
shegavebi rt
ht oNkanyezi.Lit
tleNkanyezi boughta
diff
er entjoyintoourli
ves.Ithinkwhatki l
ledus
mor ewassi t
tingaroundthedi nnnertableon
Christ masandshewasn' tthere.Shewas
dischar gedtodayandwehavebeenpl anningfor
mont hshowt ogett oknowherbet t
erand
Khul ekanihasbeenhel pingus.
"
You'
rer
eadytomeetyournephew?We'l
lgooutf
or
l
unchaf
tert
hat
."
,Langasaysparki
ng.
"I
'
mr eady.Canwepost pone.Ihavesomet
hingt
o
dealwit
hlater
."
,Thando
"
Somet
hingt
odealwi
th?What
'st
hat
?",
Iaskher
.
"
Don'
twor
ryabouti
t.
",shesmi
les.
We'
regoi
nggof
indoutanyway.Wegetoutoft
he
carandwal
kinsi
de.Unyezii
spl
ayi
ngwi
thNkanyezi
.
"
Ohheyguys.Thando?
",sheget
sal
lemot
ional
.
Nkosi
nat
hitakest
hechil
dandUnyezihugsThando.
Sheki
sseshercheeksandt
heyst
artcryi
ng.
Women.
"Imissedyou.CanIseehi
m?"
,Thandoaskssmi
li
ng
betweenhercri
es.
"
Yeah.OhmyGod!Ican'
tbel
ievei
tsyou.
",Unyezi
Thandotakesthekidandsmil
eski
ssi
nghischeeks.
Nkanyezii
saKhuzwayobaby.Thedimplesnever
goi
ngunnot i
ced.Langasmi
lesandki
ssesUnyezi
.

NOXOLO
"
Sanel
e!"
,Ishoutathi
m.
Hel
aughsandrunsar
oundourapar
tment
.Hi
ssuch
apl
ayf
ulchi
ld.
"
Sanel
egi
vemet
hatphone!
",Ishoutchasi
nghi
m.
Hel
aughsandashescr
oll
sonmyphone.
"
Ha!Iknewi
t!
",hesayssmi
li
ng.
Isnat
chmyphoneandputi
tinsi
demypocket
.
"
Uyaphapha!
"(You'
ref
orwar
d.)
,Isaysmi
li
ng
i
nvol
untar
y.
"
Oksalayo.Ican'tbel
ieveyouarestal
kingMal
ume
Ndabenkhulu.
",hesaysl aughi
ng.
"
I'
m not
.I.
..
I.
..
Nje.
",Ist
utt
er.
"Wer
en'tyoutheonesayi
ngyoudon'
tli
kehim?That
younotgoingtodat
eaKhuzwayo."
,Sanel
e
"
Howol
dar
eyouagai
n?"
,Iasksar
cast
ical
ly.
"Haha.I
'
m oldenought
oknowt hatfeari
seat
ingat
you.Notever
ymani sl
ikedad.
",Sanel
e
Hekissesmyhandandwal kstohi
sr oom.Ist
and
ther
erealisi
nghowtruehi
swor dsare.Thedoorbel
l
ri
ngs.Isignfort
heflower
sandUberEat sbrown
bag.IreadthenoteandIsmile.
"Forgi
veness(Noxolo).Pleasefor
giveasIwon't
makei tt
odi nnerasIpr omised.I
'
m at t
endinga
familymatter.Iboughtlunchthou.Fistbumpmy
niggaforme.Ndabenkhul u.
"
Ismel
lthefl
owersandputt
hem i
nt hevase.I'm
usedt
ot hef
lower
s.Hehasthem deli
veredevery
morni
ng.Iopenupthebagandit
sChi ckenLicken.
"
Sanel
e!"
,Ical
lforhi
m.
"
What
'sup?
",heaskst
aki
ngapi
ece.
"
Ndabenkhul
usays.
..
",If
ist
bumphi
m.
"
Heboughtl
unch?
",heaskssmi
li
ng.
Inodandtakeoutmyphonet
hanki
nghi
mforl
unch
andthef
lowers.
"
Doyout
hinkyou'
l
levermoveon?
",Sanel
easks.
Ijustshr ugandweeatt alki
ng.Hisbeenagr eatson.
We' remor eofbestfriends.I'
mj ustnotreadyfora
relati
onshipandhel i
kesNdabenkhul ubutI '
m
wor kingonbuildi
ngmybusi ness.Maybeast i
me
goesI '
l
lconfr
ontmyf eeli
ngsbutr i
ghtnow.Meand
Ndabenkhul uwi l
ljustbewhatwear e.Hisnever
madeamoveonme.Hehasneveraskedmeout .
I'
m cer tai
nhejustseesmeasanacqui t
tance.

UNYEZI
Weleftever
yoneint
heloungeastheycel
ebr
ate
Thandosret
urn.I
'
m sohappytoseeher.
"
I'
mleavi
ngwi
thyou.
",Langa
"Ineedt
odot
hisonmyown.
",Isayshaki
ngmy
head.
"Youst
il
lhaveamont
htothinkaboutt
his.Younot
goingt
oSwazil
andal
one.
",Langa
"
Iwon'
tbeal
one.Myuncl
esanddadwi
llbet
her
e."
,I
t
rymaki
nghi
m seeI
'l
lbesaf
e.
"Ican'
tloseyou.
",heshakeshi
sbeadwi
tht
ear
sin
hiseyes.
Hekissesmeandi tsslowandpassi onat
e.
Nkanyezii
sdownst ai
rswi t
htherestsowehave
thi
smomentwi t
houtdistur
bance.Heclimbsont op
ofmeandki ssesmeagai n.Hishandspul lonmy
pantsandIli
ftmybuttupandher emovesi t.Wego
backgokissingasher ubsmycl i
t.I
'
m alreadywet
andhistaki
nghistimewi thme.Hebet t
ermaket hi
s
quickbef
oreNkanyezistartscryi
ng.
Her
ubshi
msel
fonmebef
oreheent
erssl
owl
yandI
moan.Het
hrust
ssl
owl
yandIar
chmyback.
"
MmmhLanga.
",Imoanout
.
Hei
sgoi
ngsl
owandt
hepassi
oni
stoomuch.
"
Youcan'tl
eaveal
one.
",hegr
oansi
nmyear
t
hrust
ingsl
owly.
Sohi
stryi
ngtomakemeagr
eebyf
ucki
ngme?I
f
yesi
tsworki
ng.
"
I'
mleavi
ngwi
thyou.
",
hewhi
sper
s.
Hecircul
ateshi
swai
standIlosei
t.Igr
ipthesheet
s
ti
ghterandheli
ft
smyT-shi
rtupandgrazesmy
nippl
e.
"Ah!
",
Imoanl
oudl
y.
"
I'
mleavi
ngwi
thyou.
",
hewhi
sper
s.
"
Yes!Yes!Yes!
",Iagr
eemoani
ngsof
tl
y.
Heholdsmeinhisarmsandthr
ust
sslowl
ywhil
e
I
'm moani
nghisname.Icanf
eelhi
m pul
sat
ingi
n
meashest r
okesdeepandsl
ow.
"
Ah!Langa!
"
Mywet
nessi
sdri
ppi
ngandhi
ssl
owst
rokesar
e
t
aki
ngmeonedge.
"
Langa!
",Imoangr
ippi
nghi
mti
ght
erandcl
enchi
ng
mythi
ghs.
"
Cum f
orme.
",hegr
oanski
ssi
ngmyneck.
Idigmynailsdeeperi
ntohisbackasIar
chmy
backwithmymout hclosed.Themosti
ntense
orgasm hi
tsmeandI '
ml ef
tshaki
ngunderhim.He
cumsonmyt hi
ghandgr oansout
.
"
Shi
t!
"
Herol
lsofmeandpul lsmeintohisar
ms.He
t
hrowsafleeceoverusandIlayonhischest.Just
afewminutesbefor
ewegodownt oother
s.We've
madethebestofourloveandIlovehi
m dail
y.

KUHLEKONKE
Il
ookatthiski
dwit
hmymout hopenanddry.She'
s
l
ookingdownandcrying.Igetoutofshockand
hol
dherclosel
yasshecr i
esinmyar ms.Aknock
di
sturbsusandIat
tendtoit.Iopenandits
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
SawubonaSi
si.
",hegr
eet
s.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
"
CanIseeAmanda?
",hesaysl
ooki
ngmest
rai
ghti
n
t
heeyes.
"It
hinkyou'vebr
okenherhear
tenough.You'
ve
madei tcl
earyoudon'
tval
ueher.
",Isaycl
osi
ngthe
doorbehindme.
We'restandi
ngoutsi
deandhehasonehandi nhi
s
pocketandtheotheri
shol
dingadi
s-chem paper
bag.
"Whathappenedbet weenmeandAmandawasa
mistake.Ididn'tfor
ceherintoanythi
ngi nsteadshe
wast heonewhoaskedmet obreakhervi r
gini
ty
becauseIwast heonl
yguyshet rusted.Amandai s
agreatgirlsisibutwithyoubeingwit hmyuncl ewe
couldneverbeanyt hi
ngmor ethanfriends.I'
m also
i
nar elati
onshi p.Pl
easeunderstand.Givetheset o
herplease.Tellherim sorr
yfornotlovingher .
",he
handsmet hepaperbagandl eaves.
WhenIwas16Iwaswor ri
edaboutwhatcolour
dresswasIgoi ngtowear .AboAmandaalready
havevir
ginbreakers.I
'm notjudgi
ng.Sheknows
whatshe'sdoing.Igetbackinsideandshe'
ssti
ll
cryi
ng.
"Nkosi
nat
hidr
oppedt
hisof
f.
",Isayhandi
nghert
he
bag.
Shewipeshertear
sandpeeksi
nsi
de.Inot
ice
morni
ngpil
ls.
"
Didy'
al
lusepr
otect
ion?
",Iaskf
rowni
ng.
SheshakesherheadandIsl
apher
.
"
Amanda!HaveInevert
oldyoupr
event
ioni
sbet
ter
t
hancur
e?!
",Ishout
.
"
Itwas.
..Wewer
ebot
hint
hemoment
."
,shecr
ies.
"
Youdidn'
tevenment
iont
his?Yazi
ni!
",It
urnar
ound
t
oleave.
"Ohandhesaidhi
ssor
ryf
ornotl
ovi
ngyou.
",Isay
andthanl
eave.
ThewholeKhuzwayoclanjustboughtdr
ama.Icl
ick
mytongueandcallBheki
khaya.
TSHEGOFATSO
"
You'
vebeenpost
poni
ngvi
sit
ingmeTshepo.
"
"
Iknow.I
'
vebeenbusyTshego.
",
hel
ies.
Somet
hingf
all
sont
heot
hersi
de.
"
What
'st
hat
?",
Iask.
"Babe!What'
sgoingonther
e?!
",af
emal
evoi
ce
shoutsontheothersi
de.
"Babe?Hebanna!KemangouTshepo?
"(who'
sthat
Tshepo?)
Hedoesn'tanswermebutdropsthecal
l.Ilookat
myphonescr eenamazed.Therei
snowayhi s
cheat
ing.MaybeitwastheTV.Whoam If ooli
ng?I
cal
lhi
m andhedr opsmycall.
42
BHEKI
KHAYA
Ij
ustgotof
fthephonewi t
hKuhlekonkeandshei s
bi
ti
ngmybeadof fasifIsentNkosinathit
obreak
Amandasvir
gini
ty.Iwal
kbacktot heloungeand
UnyeziandLangacomeback.ItakeNkanyezif
rom
Thandoandtickl
ehim.Baf
ohast hecut
estkid.
Nkosinat
hiwalksi
nbangsthedoor.Wealll
ookat
hi
m.
"Nkosinat
hit
hevi
rgi
nbreaker
."
,Isaycausi
ng
everyonetol
ookatme.
Hewal kspastusandcl
imbsthestair
s.Langa
standsuptofoll
owhim andUnyezipusheshi
m
backdown.
"
Vir
ginbr
eaker
?",
Ndabenkhul
uasks.
"
Yes.Hesleptwi
thAmanda.
",It
ellhi
m pl
ayi
ngwi
th
Nkanyezi
.
"Ah!Nazokemfana!
"(Ther
ewegoboy)
,Khul
ekani
shoutsl
aughi
ng.
"
Sowhyi
sheangr
y?"
,Thandoasks.
"Hedoesn'
twantAmanda.Theydidn'
tuse
prot
ect
ion.Heevenboughthermorni
ngaft
ers.I
don'
tgetwhyhistheangr
yone."
,Isayshr
ugging.
Khul
ekanil
aughsandThandosl
apshi
shead.
"
Ouch!
",hegr
unt
s.
"Shutup!Thisisser
ious.Doesn'
thehavea
gir
lf
riend?
",Thandoasks.
"Hei
sdatingagi
rlcall
edAmahle.Amandasf
ri
end.
Yeyi
i!I
tsamess.
",Itel
lthem.
"
Langa!
",Langacal
l
sforLangal
ami
.
Hecomesi
nwi
thUnyezi
sphonei
nhi
shands.
"
Gocal
lyourbr
otherf
orme.
",Langai
nst
ruct
s.
Theboyrunsupst ai
rsandKhulekanikeepson
sayi
ng"vi
rgi
nbr eaker?ye16years?Your ai
seda
Casanovabaf
o."andl aughi
ng.Hewal ksinandsi
ts
nextt
oUnyezi.Protecti
on.Smartmove.
"
Youdor eal
iseyouhavet
opaydamager
ight
?",
Ndabenkhul
uaskshim.
Henodswit
hhiseyescasteddown.We'
veal
lbeen
i
nhissi
tuat
ionandtheheati
sepic.
"
Soyouwon'
tgett
hreemont
hsal
lowance.
",Langa
t
ell
shi
m.
"KodwaBabasheaskedforit
.Ididn'
tevenmakea
moveonher."
,herai
seshisvoiceandLangapul
ls
him byhi
sneck.
"
Don'tr
aiseyouvoiceatme.Youpenetr
atedher
r
ight
?Soyou'repaying!
",hesaysf
ir
mly.
Khul
ekanii
sinsti
tchesandhekeepsget
ti
ngsl
aps
fr
om Thando.Mybrotheri
sani
diot.
"Sot
ellmemshana.Howwasi
t?"
,Khul
ekaniasks
him.
"Shesnott
hefi
rstgir
lI'
vet
aintedMalumesoit
s
nothi
ngtobeexcit
edabout.
",Nkosi
nathimumbl
es.
Ndabenkhul
ucr
acksupandhef
ist
bumpshi
m.
"
Howmanyhaveyousl
eptwi
th?
",Thandoasks.
"
Justt
woaunt
y."
,hemumbl
es.
"
Vir
gins?
",Iaskandhenods.
"Gr
eat
.6monthswithoutal
lowance.We'
repayi
ngt
o
bot
hthesegi
rl
s."
,Langaburst
sourbubble.
Nkosinathil
ooksathi
m andtr
iesbegginghi
sf at
her
butLangadoesn'tbuyit
.Wel
lwe'veallhadbeen
here.I
'm sureLangai
shappythathecanputthe
samepr essureonsomeoneel
se.
"
Mama.
",hesaysl
ooki
ngatUnyezi
.
"
Sor
ryboy.
",sheshr
ugs.
Hestandsupandleavesandassoonashi
soutof
si
ghtwealll
augh.
"
Manthatf
eltgood.RememberwhenDaddi dthat
t
ohi
s?Mani twastort
ure.
",Langasaysl
aughi
ng.
"DoyourememberhoweveryyearBheki
khayawas
brokecauseheal
waysdat
edvirgi
ns."
,Khul
ekani
remindsthem.
"
Theydat
edme.Nott heot
herwayaround.They
j
ustl
ovet
his.
",Isayandwelaugh.
"
I'
m wai
ti
ngfort
hedayThandobr eakshervi
rgini
ty.
Wewant15cows!"
,Khul
ekanisaysandweal lagree.
ThandocoughsandUnyezil
aughs.
"Yi
niThando?"
(what'
swrong
Thando?)
,Ndabenkhul
uasks.
"Nothi
ng.
",shesaysst
andi
ngupandgoi
ngi
ntot
he
kit
chen.
Unyezit
akesNkanyeziandf
oll
owsherlaughi
ng.We
getbacktot
alki
ngaboutourchi
ldhoodmemories.
NOXOLO
Iam wat chi
ngr omant i
cmoviesandcrying.Sanel
e
saidhecan' thandlemycr yi
ngandwentt ohisroom.
Itakeascoopofi cecream andshoveitinmy
mout h.ThedooropensandKuhl eandAmanda
walkin.Amandai slimpingandKuhlekeepson
givi
nghert hestinkeye.Whataretheyfight
ing
aboutnow?Theygr eetandKuhl
etakesmyspoon
andeat smyi cecream.
"
Hey!
",Isayasshet
akesmyi
cecr
eam.
"Ineedthi
s.Thi
sonei
sgoi
ngt
oki
llme.
",shesays
eyeingAmanda.
"
Whati
sit
?",
Iask.
"
Useyi
dikazi
."(
She'
snol
ongerpur
e.)
,Kuhl
e.
"
Nowonderyouareli
mping.Sowhowasi
t?I
za
Nazo.
"(Hi
tme.
),
Isayinchi
ngcloser
.
"
Tal
k."
,Kuhl
e
"
Letmegetsomewi
ne.
",Isayst
andi
ngup.
If
etchmywineandtwoglasses.Ihandonet
o
Kuhleandf
il
lourgl
asses.
"
Okaygi
rl
!Tal
k."
,Ieager
lysay.
"
ItwasNkosi
nat
hi.
",shesaysf
idget
ing.
"Wait
.Theoneandonl
y?"
,Idi
dn'
tthi
nki
twast
his
deep.
"
Yes.Iki
ndofseducedhi
m."
,Amanda.
"
Hai
bo!Chr
ist
ianGr
eyt
hef
emal
ever
sion.
",Il
augh.
"
Sisi
!Ij
ust.
..Iwasst
upi
dIknow.Ijustwantedto
f
eelcl
osertohim.I
..
.It
houghtgivi
ngmyselft
ohim
wil
lmakehimloveme."
,hervoi
cebreaks.
"St
handwa.Sexdoesn' tkeepaman.Yousti
llyoung.
Youst i
llhavealotofti
met omeetaguywho'l
l
appreci
at eyou.
",Isayandsipmywine.
"Andnextti
meuseprotect
ionAmoh.Whati fhe
didn'
tbr
ingthosemorni
ngafters?Youhadn'ttol
d
meanything.Youol
denought ofal
lpregnant.Be
wisenextti
me.",
Kuhl
esaysholdingherhand.
"Nowtel
lushowwasthewhol
eexperi
ence?Washe
big?Hi
sstr
okegame?Washegentl
e?"
,Iask.
Kuhl
elaughsandpushesme.
"I
twasreal
lypai
nfulatf
ir
stbutIki
ndofl
ikeditaf
ter
awhil
e.Isi
tokayforaguytoli
ckyoudownt her
e?",
sheasksshyl
y.
Wearedeadandwehi
ghf
ive.Manshesso
i
nnocent
.
"
Didyoul
ikei
t?"
,Kuhl
easksher
.
Shenodsplayi
ngwi
thherfi
nger
sandwear
edead
agai
n.That
haNkosi
nathi
!
"
Yesitsagoodthi
ng.Asl
ongashi
sdoi
ngi
tri
ght
."
,
Kuhl
esayslaughi
ng.
"
Yohsi
si.Iwassoner
vous.
",shel
oosensup.
"
Nowt
ellmet
hedet
ail
s.St
roket
ost
roke.
",Iur
ge.
"
Noxol
o!"
,Kuhl
elaughs.
"
What
?Iwantt
oheart
his.
",Isayl
aughi
ng.
"Okay.Ther
eisthi
sthi
nghedoeswi
thhi
stongue.
",
shehidherfaceandsqueal
ed.
Wear
esi
ppi
ngonourwi
neaswel
ist
ent
othi
s.
"
Itwaspai
nfulatf
ir
standthenhedidthi
sthi
ngof
movi
nghiswaisti
ncir
cles.
",shet
ell
sus.
"Ci
rcul
ati
on!
",
meandKuhl
esayl
aughi
ng.
Wesi
tandlist
entoAmandasst
ory.Thi
sgener
ati
on
i
sski
ll
ed!Theyevenmuf
fnow.

TSHEGOFATSO
I'
vebeent ryi
ngt ocal lTshepobuthi sphonesends
mest raightt ovoicemai lbuthispost ingon
Instagram.Iguesshebl ockedme.Hecan' tdot hi
s
tomemahn!Tshepot l
ampeang' tlal
oset se!(hemust
explain!)Igeti nt
ot heshowerandcr y.Hesai dhe
willtr
ymaki nguswor kevenwi t
ht hedi stanceand
wehadpr omi sedtovi siteachot her.Igetoutoft he
showeranddeci det ogeti nsidemybl anketsnaked.
Igot hroughhi saccountandhi sjustpost eda
pictureofhol dinghandsandt hecapt ionis" Hold
myhandt hroughi tall.
"Ihavechestpai nssame
ti
me.I st hisreal?Irest artmyphone.Maybemy
phonei sgi vingmei ssues.Igobackt oI nstagram
andcheckhi saccountagai n.Thepi ct ureisstil
l
t
here.Icryandcovermyfacewi t
htheblanket
.
Doesithavetohurtl
iket
his?Isobloudl
y.
SPECI
ALPI
ECE
AMANDA
"NomanNkosi
nat
hi!You'
recheat
ing!
",Iexcl
aim
pushi
nghi
m wi
thmyshoulder.
"Justadmi
tthatyousuckatFI
FA.
",hesays
chuckli
ng.
We'replayi
ngFIFAinhisroom andSanel
eand
LangalamiareintheGameRoom.Theyhavea
real
lybeauti
fulhugehouse.
"
AndIwi
n!Agai
n!"
,hef
istbumpst
heai
r.
"
I'
m notpl
ayi
nganymor
e."
,Igi
vehi
mthej
oyst
ick.
"
Sor
eloser
."
,hechuckl
es.
We'vebeenfriendsfortwohearsandI'
venever
heardorseenhi mlaugh.Healwaysjustsmilesor
chuckl
es.Istealaglanceathim asheinsert
sthe
USBbehindt heTV.Nkosinathii
sreal
lytal
landhas
whatIcallf
emi ni
nemascul i
nit
y.Heisreall
ydark
ski
nnedwi t
hshar pfeat
ures.Hissmil
elooksmor e
ofasmi rkcauseit
slopsi
ded.Hehasonebr acket
andheal wayshasonehandi nhispocket.We're
bestfr
iendsandIcaughtfeeli
ngsbuthedoesn' t
knowthat .Hereal
lyl
ovesAmahl eandI'
mj usthis
fr
iendandIai n'
tgonnali
eithurt
s.
"
Okay.MsHor
ror
.Movi
e?"
,hesayshandi
ngmet
he
r
emote.
IchooseAnnabell
eComesHome.Il
ovet
hatmovi
e.
WellIl
oveeveryhorr
ormovi
e.
"
Weed?
",heasks.
Hi
sast
onerandIj
ustsmokeher
eandt
her
e.
"
Whati
fyourDadsmel
lsi
t?"
,Iask.
"
They'
renotar
ound.
",hesaysshr
uggi
ng.
Hetakesouthi
s'weedbox'
underhi
sbedandst
art
s
cr
ushing.
"
Youwantt
orol
l?
",heasks.
"Yeahcool
."
,Isayt
aki
ngt
her
izl
aandweedf
rom
him.
"
I'
llgogetmunchi
est
hen.
",hesaysst
andi
ngup.
HecomesbackwhenI
'
mli
cki
ngandhehandsmea
l
ight
er.
"
Youget
ti
ngbet
ter
."
,hesaysanal
ysi
ngmyj
oint
.
"
Iknowr
ight
."
,Isaysmi
li
ngpr
oudl
y.
"
Bless.
",hesaysl
ight
ingi
tandhandi
ngi
ttome.
Hel ocksthedoorsotheydon'tcomeinand
knowi ngLangahe'
lldef
ini
tel
ysnitch.Assoonaswe
fi
nishsmoki ngIpr
essplay.
"
Shi
t!
",heexcl
aimsj
umpi
ngandIl
augh.
"Ir
egretsmokingthanwatchi
ngthis.I
'm so
paranoi
drightnow."
,hesayschuckli
ng.
"
It
snott
hatscar
y."
,Isayshr
uggi
ng.
HereachesovermeandIfr
eezef
orasecond.He
smell
ssogood.Hecomesbackwithapacketof
marshmall
ows.Il
etoutabr
eathwhenhegetsback
tohi
spositi
on.
"
You'
reokay?
",heaskswi
thhi
seyebr
owsf
urr
owed.
"
Yeah.
..Uhm.
",Igul
p.
Heshr
ugsandcar
ri
esoneat
ing.It
akeof
fmy
j
acketandI
'
mlef
tinmybr
alet
.
"
Shoul
dIt
urnt
heai
r-
conon?
",heaskseyei
ngme.
Inodandhet akest
her emot
eandIf eeltheai
rget
cool
eraroundus.Noneofusar ewatchingthe
moviecausewe'reeat
ing.Hekeepscr acki
ngj
okes
andI'
m highsoIam deadwithlaughter.
"Myst
omachhurtsNat
hi.Whoa.
",Isayl
aughi
ng
andhechuckl
es.
"OkayI'
llst
op.
",hesayschewi
ngt
hei
cef
rom hi
s
glass.
"
You'
recr
azy.Whochewsi
ce?
",Iaskhi
m.
"I
'
m dangerousAmanda.Ichewwat
er.Sol
idwat
er.
",
hesaystakinganot
heri
cecube.
"
You'
rej
usti
cey.
",Isayandhesmi
les.
"Myhist
oryassignmentisduenextweekandI
haven'
tevenstart
ed.
",Nathi
"
I'
m donewi
thmi
ne.
",Isay.
"
Canyoudomi
ne?
",heasksme.
"
No.Youwast
eti
mehi
gh.Youst
il
lhavet
wodays.
",
Isayshaki
ngmyhead.
"
Please.
",Nat
hi
"
Fine.R100.
",Isaysmi
li
ng.
"
What
?R50?
",henegot
iat
es.
"
No.I'
m usingmybr
ain.Ti
me.Hands.Sour
ces.
R100.
",Ist
ate.
"
Fine.
",hemumbl
es.
Il
aughathi
m andhet
ickl
esme.
"
Nat
hi!
",Iscr
eam l
aughi
ng.
Hest
opsti
ckl
ingmeandwhenhei
saboutt
ogetof
f
meIpul
lhi
sfaceandki
sshi
m.Hepul
lsout
.
"
Amanda.
",Nat
hi
"
Shhh.
",Ishushhi
m.
Ipul
lhim agai
nandher espondst
histi
mear ound.
Hehasr eal
lysof
tli
ps.Ipullhi
sT-
shir
toverhis
head.
"
Amanda.
",hesaysl
ooki
ngatme.
"
Nat
hi.
",Isayl
ooki
ngatathi
m.
HeshakeshisheadandInodmi ne.Iseehi sj
aw
ti
ckandIpullhiminforanot
herkiss.Irunmy
handsoverhisabs.Hisasoccerplayer.Hishand
goesonmyt highandsinceI
'm wearingaj eanmini
ski
rthehasaccess.WhenIstartunbucklinghisbelt
hejumpsoffandheaves.Isi
tupandheshakeshi s
head.
"Amanda.We'
refr
iends.Wecan'tdot
his.Pl
us
you'r
evi
rgi
n.No.
",hesayspicki
nguphisshir
t.I
standupandsi
tont hebed.
"Iknowbutyou'
retheonl
yguyItr
ustenoughto
takemyvir
gini
ty.
",Isayl
ooki
nghi
m str
aighti
nhis
eyes.
"You'
renott
hinki
ngstr
aight
.Iknowweedcanmake
onehornysolet'
sputt
heblameonit
."
,hesays
sit
ti
ngnextt
ome.
"I
'
m notsayingmarryme.Al
lI'
m aski
ngf
ori
s
orgasms.
",Isaybl
untl
y.
"
Whatdoyouevenknowaboutor
gasmsAmanda?
No.
",hesaysst
ernl
y.
Icameher
ewi
thapur
poseandIsi
tont
opofhi
m.I
don'tknowwher eI'
m gett
ingt heconfi
dence.He
tri
est alkingandIkisshim anddr yhumphi m.I
wat chedpor ntoknowallaboutt hisandI'm prayi
ng
I'
m doi ngitright
.Hetraceshi shandfrom my
thighsandl if
tsmyskirtupsqueezi ngmybut t
.He
takesof fmybr al
etandher ubshisfi
ngersonmy
nipples.If eelawetnessonmypant i
es.Her ol
lsus
overandhi snowont op.Hest art
skissingmyneck
andasoundescapesmyl i
ps.Het akesof fmyskirt
andIf eelmyhear trat
equi ckens.Henot i
cesI'm
tenseandl ooksatme.
"
Areyousur
e?"
,heasks.
Inodandheshakeshi
shead.
"
Areyousur
e?"
,her
epeat
s.
"
Yes.
",Isay.
Het akesoffhi
spantsandcl i
mbsont opofme
again.Hisrubbi
nghishandsal lovermewhi le
kissingme.Het r
aceskissesdownunt i
lmybelly
button.Helooksupatmeandheuseshi st
eethto
takeof fmythi
ng.Iboughtt hongsspeci alf
ortoday.
Iclosemyl egsasIstar
tf eeli
ngsel fconsci
ous.He
openst hem gent lyandhei sst i
lllookingatme.I
thinkI'
m goi ngtopukemyhear tout .Ifeelhis
fi
ngerspar tmyf oldsandhel icksme.Imoanand
heput shisar msar oundmyt highsandpul lsme
closer.I'
veneverexper i
encedt hisbef oreandI'm
enjoyingit.Ifeelsomet hingknoti nmyabdomen
andIl if
tmysel fupbuthedoesn' tletgoofmy
thighsandnei t
herdoeshest opsucki ngme.Ical m
downaf t
erwhatf eltl
ikeaheavenl yhigh.Hecomes
backt omyf ace.
"
That
sanor
gasm.
",hesayssmugl
y.
Hetri
eski
ssi
ngmebutImovemyf
aceandhe
chuckl
es.
"
Tast
eyour
sel
f.
",hesaysst
icki
nghi
stonguei
nmy
mout
h.
Itt
astesforei
gnandIl
ikei
twei
rdl
y.If
eelhi
mrub
himselfdownther
eandIfi
dget
.
"
Rel
ax.
",hesayski
ssi
ngme.
Hetri
esent
eringmeandImoveup.Hepullsme
backandtr
iesagai
nwhil
ekeepi
ngmei nt
act.If
eel
somethi
ngentermeandIpul
loutandscr
eam.
"
Uyangi
li
maza.
",
Isaysobbi
ng.
Hest
opsmovi
ngandl
ooksatme.
"
Ngi
yeke?
",heasks.
Ishakemyheadandhekissesmyeyesandwipes
myt ear
s.Heki
ssesmeagainandheent
ersdeeper
.
"
Nat
hi!
",Iscr
eam.
HeholdsmyhandsabovemgheadcauseI
'
m
pushi
nghim.
"
Doyouwantmet
ost
op?
",heasks.
"
No.I
tsj
ustr
eal
lypai
nful
."
,Isay.
"That
sbecauseyou'r
evir
gin.Justbearwi
thme.
",he
saysusi
nghisotherhandtowipemyt ear
s.
Inodandhest art
smoving.Ibit
emyl i
p.Ilthur
ts
mor ewhenheextract
s.Hisgroani
nglowlyandhis
otherhandgoesdownt orubmyclitandthe
pl
easurekicksin.
"Fuck!You'
ret
ight
."
,hegr
oansl
ett
inggoofmy
hands.
Hemoveshi
swai
star
oundandIar
chmyback
gr
abbi
ngthesheet
s.HegoesindeeperandIar
ch
mybackasmyeyesrol
lwithmymout hopen.
"
Nat
hi.
",Imoanout
.
Icanhearourski
nsslappi
ngandhehasmyni ppl
e
i
nhismout h.Mypussyfar
tsandIhidemyface
wit
hhands.Hechucklesandremovesthem.He
hasn'
tstoppedmovi
ng.
"
Don'tbeshy.I
tsnormal
."
,hesaysashedoest
hat
t
hingwithhi
swaistagai
n.
"
Nat
hi!
",Iscr
eam asIpul
lhi
shai
randIor
gasm.
Hekeepsmovi
ngandIf
eel
him gr
abmet
ight
erand
hecusses.
"
FuckAmanda!
",hegr
oansout
.
Ifeelwar
mnessinsi
demeandwestayliket
hat.
Bothofusshaki
ngandbr
eathi
ngheavi
ly.Hepull
s
outandIwhine.
"
Shi
t!
",hesays.
"
What
?",
Iask.
"
Idi
dn'
tpul
louti
nti
me.I
'
m sor
ry.I
'
llbuymor
ning
af
ter
s."
,hesaysl
ayi
ngbesi
desme.
InodandIfinal
lygetachancetolookathispeni
s
andIbl
ink.Howdi dthatf
iti
nsi
deme?Il ookdown
andInoti
ceIbled.That'
snormal.Si
sKuhletol
dme.
"
Sor
ryabutyoursheet
s."
,Isayl
ooki
ngaway.
"I
tsf
ine.I
'l
lchanget
hem.Come.
",hesaysst
andi
ng
upandlif
tsmeup.
I'
m sur
pri
sedastohowhecanlif
tmeupbuthe
doesn'
tseem t
ocomplai
n.Hefi
ll
st hewat
erand
oncetheywarm,hehel
psmeinside.
"
I'
llbeback.
",hesayswr
appi
ngat
owelar
oundhi
s
t
orso.
"
Wai
t.
",Isayhur
ri
edl
y.
Het
urnsbackandl
ooksatme.
"
Whatnow?
",Iakshi
m.
Her
unshi
shandt
hroughhi
shai
randshr
ugs.
"
Nooneshouldeverknowaboutthi
s.Especi
all
y
Amahle.We'
rest
il
lfr
iendst
hou.
",hesaysand
l
eaves.
Il
ookdownatt hewaterandat eardr
ops.Stupi
d!
Stupi
d!Hedoesn'tseeyouthatway!Ibathand
fi
nishup.Ineedt
ogethome.Idr essupandwhen
hecomesbackhegi vesmet wopainkil
ler
s.
"Mom isdownstai
rs.MyunclesandDadar eontheir
wayback.I'
llaskt
hedrivert
ot akeyouandSanel e
home.Sanelesaysheisgoingst r
aighttohispl
ace.
I'
l
lbringt
hemor ni
ngaftersatyourplace.Ij
ustneed
totakeaquickshower.
",hesaysandki ssesmyas
usualwhenhesaysgoodbye.
Ijusttakemyj acketandbagandl eave.Idon'tfind
hismom soIhur ryoutandt hepainbet weenmy
thighsremi ndsmeofwhathadj usthappened.I
l
ookout sidethewi ndowt hewholerideandSanel e
j
usthol dsmyhandt i
llwedr ophim off.Assoonas
heget sof fIstartcryi
ng.Thedr iverlooksatme
throught herearmi rror .Iwantt
obei nmyr oom and
cryinpeace.Asi fher eadsmymi ndhei ncreases
hisspeed.
43
KUHLEKONKE
"Nkosinat
hiisst
il
lpi
ssedatus.Hei
sbr
okeashel
l.
",
Bhekikhaya
"Asl
ongasy'al
lpai
dthedamages.Amandahas
beensul
kingt
oo
"
,It
ellhi
m.
"Ki
ds.They'
reget
ti
ngl
aid.
",Bheki
khayasays
cli
mbingontopofme.
"
NowI
'
m get
ti
ngl
aid.
",
Isayki
ssi
nghi
m.
I'
mjusti
nhisT-shirtsohealreadyhashishand
downther
e.Heisr ubbingonmycl itandhis
fi
nger
ingmeatt hesamet ime.Ihelphim outofhi
s
sweat
pantsandhepul lstheT-shi
rtovermyhead.
"
Nof
orepl
ay.
",It
ellhi
m andhenods.
Her ubshimsel
fonmebef oresl
ammi ngintome
andIalreadyknowit
'sgoi
ngt oberough.Heput sa
cushionundermeall
owinghim deeppenet r
ation.I
am makingnoisewit
hallmymoansbutwe' reathis
placesoIcanscream asl
oudasIwant .Heleads
myhandbet weenusandIr ubmyself.Igrabthe
sheetsashepushesdeeper.Icum ashepi nches
myni pple.Heputsmyl egstogetherandmakesme
holdthem onmyl ef
tandheent ers.Sexwithhimis
al
waysent i
cing.Heknowshowt of ul
fil
lmyever
y
need.Itsli
kehewascr eatedspeci all
yforme.

TSHEGOFATSO
"OkayIhaveaplan.It
spet t
ybutifitmakesyouf
eel
bett
erthanokay.
",Khulekanisayssit
ti
ngup.
Ij
ustshr
ugandhet
akesmyphone.
"
Passwor
d?"
,heasks.
"
0410.
",It
hehi
m si
tt
ingup.
"
Okay.
",
hesayspl
aci
ngmyphoneonmyst
udyt
abl
e.
Heput
smycamer
aont
imerandvi
deo.
"
What
'st
hatf
or?
",Iaskconf
used.
"We'
regoingt opret
endwe'redati
ng.You'r
egoingt
o
postitonInstaandtagme.Hisgoingtoseeyou
movedon.Pl uswel ookgr
eattogether
."
,hesays
smil
ingatme.
"
You'
resost
upi
d.Whosai
dthat
'l
lwor
k?Hewon'
t
evencar
e."
,It
ellhi
m.
"
Butyoudo.Comesi
tont
opofme.
",hesayspul
l
ing
myarm.
"No!That
'stoopetty.It
snotevenreal.Ican'
tgive
peopleanimpressionI'mi
nar el
ationshipwhenI'm
notinone.I'
l
lbesinglecauseeveryonewi l
lthi
nk
we'r
edating.
",It
ellhim.
"Thanlet
'smakei
treal
."
,hesaysl
ooki
ngmei
nthe
eyes.
"
Areyoushoot
ingyourshot
?",
Iaskl
aughi
ng.
"Wel
l.
..Yeah.Ir
eallyli
keyouanditsbeenmonths.I
knowitswrongbutI '
m happyt
hathecheated.He
madet hi
ngseasierforme.AndIthinkIl
oveyou.
",
hesai
dandInot icehiseyesshi
mmer .
Hebett
ernotcr
yonme.Ismi
leandonet
earf
all
s
andIhughim.
"Ihat
edbei
ngclosetoyouandnotbeingablet
ot el
l
youhowIfelt
.It
'st
hemostpainfult
ort
ureI'
veever
beenthr
ough."
,hesaysandIwipehistear
s.
"
Stopcr
ying.You'
regoi
ngt
omakemecr
y."
,It
ell
hi
m asIgetemot
ional
.
"
Sor
ry.
",heapol
ogi
ses.
"
Don'
t
.Iunder
stand.
",It
ellhi
m.
"Inallt
hesemonthswe'
vebeenf r
iends.Doyou
thinkofgivi
ngmeachance?Byanychancedi dyou
catchfeel
ings?I
fnotI
'
llunder
standan-",
Khul
e
Icuthim offwithakissandheresponds.Who
wouldn'tcatchfeel
ings?Hewasagoodf ri
end.I
thoughthedi dn'
tli
kemecausehedi dn'
tshowany
signs.

NOXOLO
Iam atthebakery,baki
ngandhelpi
ngtheot
her
bakers.IgotboredathomesinceSanel
eisvi
sit
ing
hisnewf ri
endLangalami.Il
ookatt
hecakeand
smile.Perf
ect.
"
Nox.Someonei
saski
ngf
oryouatt
hef
ront
."
,Pi
nky
"
I'
llbet
her
est
handwa.
",Isaywi
pingmyhands.
If
indNdabenkhul
ubyt
hecount
erandhesmi
les
whenheseesme.Theladi
esar
egi
vinghi
mlooks
andt
hejeal
ousyi
nsidemeisbr
ewi
ng.
"
Hey.
",Igr
eetsmi
li
ng.
"Hey.Youthef
irstper
sonIknowthatmakesa
Bakerunif
ormlooksogood."
,hesays.
SeewhyIl
iket
hisguy?Hi
sal
wayscompl
iment
ing
me.
"
Thankyou.Let
'sgot
omyof
fi
ce.
",Isaysmi
li
ng.
Igrabhi
sfavour
it
echocol
atemuffi
nsandhe
fol
lowsbehi
ndme.Heopenst hedoorf
ormeand
wesitdownonmyof f
icecouch.
"
Her
eyougo.
",Ihandhi
m hi
smuf
fi
ns.
"
Thanks.
",hesmi
les.
"
Iknowyoucamef
ort
hose.
",Isaychuckl
ing.
"
Yeahandyou.Ihaven'
tseenyoui
nawhi
le.
",
Ndabenkhul
u.
"Iknow.I'
m al
waysbusy.I'
m openingnewbranches
andI '
vemadeanamef ormyself
.Mycakesarethe
talkoftown.
",Isayandhesmiles.
"Iaskedmypoeti
cbrot hertohel
lwri
temeapoem
andheendedupmaki ngitsexual
.Iwouldgi
vei
tto
youbutit
sinappr
opriate."
,hesaysscrat
chi
nghi
s
beardwit
hhiscarkeys.
"Youj
ustupt
ight
.Showme.
",Isayi
nchi
ngcl
osert
o
him.
"
Ifyoui
nsi
st.
",hesayst
aki
nghi
sphoneout
.
"Ihear
dyou'
reaBaker
.
Thechocol
atebi
scui
twi
thst
rawber
rycr
eam i
sthe
tal
koftown.
Onl
yaf
ewhavehadt
hechancet
oeati
t.
Iknowi
tai
n'tf
orsal
eei
ther
.
Wi
tht
hemosthumbl
estvoi
ce
CanIt
akeabi
te?
I
'
llbegent
le.
I
'
dpar
titandl
ickt
hest
rawber
rycr
eam.
Cl
osei
tanddi
piti
nmi
lk.
I
'
llt
akeani
pati
t
I
fthet
ast
eitent
ici
ng
ThanI
'
lldevouri
t.
SoMsBaker
CanIhavet
hatbi
scui
tnow?
Don'
ttel
lmei
tsoutofst
ock.
Icanseei
tthr
oughyourt
ight
s.
Looki
ngdel
ici
ousbet
weenyourt
highs.
Sonowdoyoumi
nd?
I
tsj
ustal
it
tl
ebi
te.
",
her
eadsoutandl
aughs.
"
Thati
ssomesexualcr
eat
ivi
ty.
",Isayl
aughi
ng.
"Mybrot
her
sar
ecr
azy.
",hesaysput
ti
nghi
sphone
away.
"No.Youarej
ustupt
ight
.Ican'tbel
ieveyouasked
helpwri
ti
ngapoem.Forme. "
"Uh.
..Iam notr
eall
ygoodwithwor
ds.I'
m mor
eof
anactionsguy.
",hesaysl
ooki
ngaround.
"That
'
ssosweet .Howaboutdi
nneratmypl
ace?
",I
asknervousl
y.
"
Yeah.I
'
mti
redofmyowncooki
ng.
"
"
Youcancook?
",Iasksur
pri
sed.
"Yeah.Thebest
.Iownr
est
aur
ant
ssoi
tsamust
."
,
hesaysshruggi
ng.
"Let
'smakeadeal
.Ibakef
oryouonceamonthand
youCookformetwiceamonth.
",It
ellhi
m.
"
Whyar
eyour
obbi
ngme?50/
50.
",hesays.
"
ButIcanbakeacakebi
genought
olastyoua
week.
"
"AndIcancookenought
olastyouaweekt
oo.
",he
shoot
sback.
"
Okay.Ibaketwotimesamonth.Youcookt
wo
t
imesamont h.
",Isayhandi
nghi
m myhand.
"
Deal
."
,hepul
lsmyhandandhugsme.
Thi
sissocomf or
table.Wepullbackandheeatshis
muff
ins.Hefeedsmeapi eceandIsmi leandopen
mymout h.Heremovesalonepi ecefr
om thecor
ner
ofmymout handhel i
cksitof
fhisthumb.Wecar r
y
oneati
ngandlaughing.
UNYEZI
DadhasNkanyezii
nhi
sar
msandhei
sapr
oud
gr
andfat
her
.
"
Hel ooksli
kehi
sfat
her
."
,hesayssmi
li
ngat
Nkanyezi.
"I
tsl
ikehi
snotevenmine.I
tsunf
aircauseIcar
ri
ed
himforni
nemonths.
",Isul
k.
"Sor
ryMkamibutmygenesar
est
ronger
."
,Langa
comesin.
"
Hey.You'
reback.
",Iki
sshi
scheek.
"
Yeah.Wher
e'r
etheboys?
",Langa
"Langai
swi thSanel
ebythepool
.Nkosi
nat
hii
sst
il
l
sulki
ng.
",Isayandhenods.
"Baba.Ngiyat
hembaunethezeki
leekhaya.
"(
Ihope
youcomf ort
ableathome.
),
hesayst oDad.
Ideci
detol
eavet
hem andgocheckonNathi
.His
beenint
hatr
oom f
orweeksnow.Iknockonhis
door.
"
Nat
hi.Open.
",Iknockhar
der
.
Heopensthedoorandheleavesmet her
eandI
fol
lowhi
m.Isitonhi
scouchandhef acesmewhi l
e
sit
ti
ngonthebed.Hi
sgrowingupandt hatscar
es
me.Nexti
twil
lbeLangaandt henNkanyezi.
"
Haveyout
alkedt
oAmanda?
",Iaskaf
tersi
lence.
"
Yeah.
",
her
esponds.
"
And?
"
"Shejustapologi
zedforseduci
ngmeandmaki ng
mel ose3mont hswor t
hall
owance.Shesai
dshe'
ll
givemehal fofherall
owance.Moreli
kef
orcedme
toacceptit
.",hesays.
"
Haveyout
alkedt
oAmahl
e?"
"Sheisgoi
ngtoboar
dingschool
.Herparent
stol
d
hertodumpme.She'sblockedme.
",hesays
rubbi
nghisface.
"
Areyouokayt
hou?
"
"Yeah.Ij
ust
..
.I'
m pr
ocessi
ngever
ythi
ng.
",he
shrugs.
"
Whydi
dn'
tyouusepr
otect
ion?
",Iask.
"I
twasaspuroft hemoment.Iwasn'
tthi
nki
ng
str
aight
.Iboughthermor
ningaft
erpi
ll
s."
,Nat
hi
"Youdoknowthatthey'
renot100%ef
fi
cientr
ight
?",
Iaskhi
m andhesighs.
"IknowandI'
m prayi
ngi
tdoesn'
tgett
oherbei
ng
pregnant
."
,Nat
hi.
"
Lear
nfr
om t
his.
",It
ellhi
m.
Henodsandl
aysonhi
sbed.Thi
sisr
eal
lyst
ressi
ng
hi
m out
.
"Well
.YourDadisdrivi
ngmeandBabat omom's
graveinKwaMakhutha.We' l
lcomebackt omorr
ow
l
ate.Takecareofyourbrother.IaskedThandot
o
comeandsl eepwit
hya'll
."
,Ikisshisfor
ehead.
"
Mom!
",hewhi
nes.
"
Bye.
",Isayl
aughi
ng.
Icl
osehisdoorandheaddownt othepool.Langai
s
goi
ngtothrowafitaboutmeleavi
ng.Thatkid
al
wayswant smearoundhim.IdotoobutIhave
dut
ies.
THANDOLWETHU
Ijustgotmybel
lypi
erci
ngwhenDadcal
lsmef
or
the100thti
me.
"
Dad.
"
"
Ndodakazi
.Youal
ri
ght
?",
heasks.
"
Dad.Youcal
ledme30mi
nut
esago.I
'
m st
il
lfi
ne.
"
"
I'
mjustchecki
nguponyou.
",Dad
"
Iknowyouwor riedbutI
'mf i
ne.Abobhutit
ake
t
urnsonremindingmet otakemypi l
ls.Wejust
worr
iedaboutyou."
"Wor
ri
edaboutme?I'mf
ineact
ual
lyI
'
m gr
eat
."
,I
cant
ellhi
ssmil
ing.
"
Dad?BhutiKhul
ekanisaysyouhaveagi
rl
fr
iend.
Doyou?
",Ifi
nal
lyask.
"
Khul
ekaniisf
orwardmahn.I'
l
ltel
ly'
al
l.Di
nner
?At
myhouse.Sat
urday?"
,Dad.
"
Cool
.I'
l
ltel
ltheot
her
s."
Webidourgoodbyesandendt hecall
.Idri
vedown
toMerebank.IlookattheaddressagainandIwait
.
Hecomesoutdr essedint
racksuit
sandst art
s
j
ogging.Rightont i
me.Ist
arttherentalcarand
dri
vetowardsinspeed.Hedodgesoutoft heway
andfall
sont hepavement.Idrivepasthim and
sendhim amessage.
"
Nextt
imeI
'
lldr
iveoveryou.Xoxo.
"
Sthembisoisaboutt
oregretmeetingme.Idri
vet
he
carbacktothecompanyandgeti ntomine.I
'
m
babysi
tt
ingfortheweekend.Idr
ivetoYell
owWood.
Imissedspendingti
mewi t
hmynephews.A
messagef r
om Ndabenkhulucomest hr
ough.
"
Dri
nkyourpi
ll
s.Il
oveyou.
"
Ismi
leandparkonthesideoft
heroadanddown
mypil
lswit
hbott
ledwater.I
'
m gl
adourrel
ati
onshi
p
i
simprovi
ng.
44
UNYEZI
We'
vebeenher
eal
lni
ghtonourkneessi
pahl
a.
Mom' ssoulhasl eftt het
reeandwe' reher etoask
hertoshowust hewaybackt omymat ernalhome.
Shei sholdi
ngbackandI '
vebeenbeggi ngt hewhole
night.Iaddincenseandl i
ghtitandspr i
nklesnuff.
AllIknowi shersur namei sMadal aneandt hat
she'sfrom Mpumal anga.EvenLangacoul dn'
ttr
ack
herpastmovement s.IgruntasIf eelherf ul
l
presencear oundme.Ist artfeeli
ngr ejected.Her
familydisownedher .Aheavyf eeli
ngoff ear
consumest hati
tleavesabi t
tert asteinmymout h.
She'sscaredofherf amil
y'sreactionaboutme.
"
Mama.Showust
heway.Leavet
her
estt
ome.
"
Istandupasthecandl
esswit
chof
fandt
hei
ncense
too.Il
ookatDadandshrug.
"Shedecli
nes.Ithinkthere'
smoretoherbei
ng
disowned.Langapl easekeepontr
ying.Weneedt
o
fi
ndaBnBnear by.Seemsl i
kewe'l
lbeheref
or
anotherday.
",Itel
lthem yawni
ng.
"St
handwasami.Let
'sgogetyousomer
est
.We' l
l
checkontheki
dsassoonasyouwakeup."
,Langa
saysdust
ingmyknees.
"
Mkhonyanauqi
nisi
lendodakazi
."(
Son-
in-
lawis
r
ightmydaught
er.
),
Dadsayswal ki
ngaheadofus.
Heisangryatmomssel fi
shnessbutheneedst o
underst
andthatgoi
ngbackt omomspl aceofbirt
h
we'l
lbeunpackinghersecr
ets.Igeti
ntothecarand
Langaholdsmyhand.
"
Ever
ythi
ng'
swi
llbef
ine.
",hesayski
ssi
ngi
t.
"
Ihopeso.
",Isaycl
osi
ngmyeyes.
Ireal
lydocauseIwanttofini
sheverythingsoIcan
fi
nall
ybewithmyfamily.Mom isdelayingme.Al ot
hastobedonebeforeIleaveforSwaziland.

THANDOLWETHU
Nkanyezii ssuchapeacefulchil
d.Unyezilefthim
somebr eastmil
ksohedoesn' thavemucht ocr y
about.Iputhimi nhiscotashef allsasl
eepafter
hisbi
rth.Iwoul dl
ikekidsofmyownbutwi t
hSt he
notwant ingmeI '
l
lneverhavethat .Iwal
koutofhi s
room leavingthedoorhalfcl
osed.Ihavet hebaby
monitori nmyhand.Langai swat chingI
gnit
ion
Channel
.Thi
ski
dandcar
s.Iki
sshi
scheeksi
tt
ing
nextt
ohim.
"HasNkosi
nat
hicomedownf
orbr
eakf
ast
?",
Iask
him.
"Yeah.Het
ookhi
splateandleftt
oeati
nhisroom.
",
hesayswit
hhiseyessti
llontheTVscr
een.
Ihaveat hingforcarsbutit
snotasdeepasLangas.
I'
mt hinki
ngofpur chasi
ngaBMW X7wi thacust om
i
nterior.AMer cedesBenzBarabustoowoulddo.I
l
ovebi gcar s.Myphoneringsandit
sBhekikhaya.
"Bhut
i.
",Ianswer
.
"
Thando.Haveyoubeent
aki
ngyourpi
ll
s?"
,heasks.
"YeahandKhul
ekanir
emi
ndedmet
hismor
ning.
",I
answerconf
used
"I
tsclearthey'
renotworki
ng.Whyareyoustal
kinga
SthembisoMt hethwa?Tothepoi
ntyoualmostran
him wit
hoverandsenthi mthr
eat
eningmessages."
,
Bhekikhaya.
"
Wehaveunr
esol
vedi
ssues.
",Isayst
andi
ngup.
"
Whi
char
e?"
,heasks.
"Hecal
ledmeahoodrat.Andtheremightbea
possi
bil
it
ythathi
smydesti
ned."
,Itel
lhi
m si
ghi
ng.
"Soyouthi
nkthreateni
nghim wil
lchangehi
svi
ew
aboutyou?Lethim be.
",Bheki
khaya
"I
tsnoteasy.You'
rehaveyours.Minedoesn'
twant
me.Youwon' tunder
stand.
",Iam get
ti
nga
headache.
"Youright.Butt
hatdoesn'tmeanyouhavet oactso
chil
dish.Focusonyourselffi
rst
.Youhavedut i
es.
Dadwant syourplanonyourbusi ness.Submiti
t
i
nsteadofchasinggolddiggers.
",
heendst hecal
l.
Sot heyhavet absonme.Isi ghasIt hi
nkhiswor ds
through.Mybusi nessplanisready.Ihadt i
met o
draftitwhileatthatasylum.Ijustneedtosubmi t
andpi tch.We'rerichbutDadneverspoi ledus.
Educat ionisalsoaver yimportantthi
nginour
family.Ineedt omakesur emypi t
chgoeswel lso
hecanf undmeandIcanbui ldmypsychi at
ric
hospitals.Ifi
tdoesn'tgowel lIhavetogobackt o
school .Letmegetst artedonlunch.Icheckon
Nkanyeziandhi sstil
lsleepi
ng.
TSHEGOFATSO
Ikeeponwat chi
ngthevideofrom yesterdayand
smiling.I
fanyonetoldmet hatmeandTshepo
woul dendIwoul d'
velaughedonthei rf
ace.Istil
l
can'tbeli
evedKhulekanicri
ed.Histextcomes
thr
oughasI '
m watchi
ngt hevi
deof orthemi l
li
onth
ti
me.WhenI '
m abouttoreplyhisvideocallcomes
thr
ough.Hei swear i
ngadur agandhel ooksso
sexy.
"
Hey.
",Igr
eetsmi
li
ng.
"Munt
uwami
."
,hi
sgr
inni
ngandhi
sdi
mpl
esar
eso
cut
e.
Ismi
leathi
m andl
aybackont
hebed.
"
CanIt
akeyououtf
orl
uncht
oday?
",Khul
ekani
.
"Youalwayst
aki
ngmeoutf
orl
unch.NowonderI
'
ve
gainedsomuchwei
ght
."
"Okayl
et'
schangeit.I
'
llaskmyChefbrot
herto
cookhi
stribeanddumpl i
ngmealandwe'l
lhavei
t
atmyhouse.Netfl
ixandchil
l.
",
Khul
ekani
"MyNetfli
xandChil
lpr
obabl
ydi
ff
erentf
rom
your
s."
,Ichuckl
e.
"
What
'syourdef
ini
ti
onofNet
fl
ixandChi
ll
?",
heasks.
"
Orat
adi
lo.Sowhatt
ime?
",Ichanget
het
opi
c.
"
AboSeho.Ar
ound13h00.I
'
llf
etchyou.
",Khul
ekani
.
"
Okay.Seeyout
hen.
",
Idr
opt
hecal
lsmi
li
ng.
Itf
eelssogoodact ual l
ybeingwi thsomeoneyou
havefeelingsfor.Itfeelssogoodt ochoose
someonebymysel fandnotf eel
inglikeIneedDad' s
approval.Speakingoft hatasshol ehedi sownedme
andatt heendoft hi syearIhavet ofindawayt o
payformyschoolf ees.Hebl amesmet hatTshepo
cheatedasi fIsenthi m.Hisjustbi t
terTshepos
fat
hert ookbackhi svot eforhimt obeami nister.
Hisdrivenbypowerandhet hinksjustcausehe
gavehi sspermI '
m hi spossession.Thewor stthing
i
shehasmom i nhi shandandshei shispuppet .
Alwaysf oll
owinghi severyor derandendur ingt he
abuse,themi st
ressesandt hepublichumi li
ation.
Evenmygr andmot herhasgi venupt ryi
ngtobr ing
herdaught erhomebutheysper m alwaysbeen
thi
ckerthanbl ood.Ihavetocallmygrandmot
her
butfornowwhatam Ievengoi ngtowearforour
Netfl
ixandchi ll
.Somethingsexyandcomfort
abl
e
thatalsoleavesmucht oimaginati
on.Whoknows?
MaybeI 'dgetlaid.

NOXOLO
"
Soyou'
ret
hef
ir
stbor
n?"
,Iaskashest
ir
shi
spot
.
Weendedupagr
eeingt
ohavingbr
eakfastathi
s
pl
acet
oday.AndI'
m st
il
lawedbyhishouse.
"Yeah.Bhekikhayaaf t
erme.Thanits
Langalakhel
ihle.Khulekani
.Thantheonl
ygir
l.
Thandolwethu.",heturnsbackhi
sattent
iont
ome.
"
That
sal otofy'
al
l.Ican'
timagi
negi
vingbi
rt
hso
manyti
mes.I'ddi
e."
"
WellIcan'tpr
omiset
onothaveyouinthelabour
war
dever ythr
eeyear
s."
,hesaysshr
ugging.
Il
aughandhechuckl
es.I
tsni
cet
oseehi
mlet
ti
ng
l
ooseabit
.
"
Shoul
dIdi
shupf
oryoubef
oreKhul
ekanicomes
andt
akeshi
stribeanddumpl
ings?
",heaskl
ooki
ng
atmeint
ent
ly.
I'
m usedtohi
seyesnow.Ievenst
oppedaski
ng
aboutit
.
"
Pleasedo.
",
Isaysi
tt
ingont
hecount
erandf
li
ngi
ng
mylegs.
"Imadesomecustar
dyest
erday.Hel
pyour
sel
f.
",he
point
stothef
ri
dge.
"Areyoutryi
ngtomakemef at?I
'
vebeeneat
ing
sinceIgothere.
",Isayheadi
ngtothef
ri
dge.
"
Yetyou'
rest
il
leat
ing.
",hel
aughsatme.
"Ienj
oyfoodokay.HowdoyouthinkIhavet
his
booty?"
,Icl
imbonthecount
eragain.
"
Whatboot
y?"
,heact
stobel
ooki
ngar
oundandI
l
augh.
"Pl
ease.Youknowexact
lywhatI
'
mtal
kingabout
."
,I
pushhisshoul
derl
aughi
ng.
"
Her
eyougo.
",hehandsmeabowloft
ri
be.
"
Thankyou.Thi
ssmel
lsgr
eat
."
,Isayt
aki
nga
spoonf
uli
ntomymout
h.
Imoanatthedevi
net ast
ewithmyeyescl
osed.
Thi
sisgreat
.Deli
cious.Not
hingl
ikeI
'
veevert
asted
bef
ore.
"I
'
m goingt
ohi r
eyou.Ineedachef
.Myki
tchen
needsone.
",Isayopeni
ngmyeyes.
Hi
sleani
ngont
hesi
nkandl
ooki
ngatme.
"I'
m agr
eatchef.I
'm sur
eI'dtakecareofyour
kit
chenver
ywel l
."
,andhissentenceisembiquet
te
judgi
ngbythelookinhiseyes.Slick.
"Ihopeyoudon'
tdi
sappoi
ntcauseIlovegoodf
ood.
Ili
kebeingf
edwell
."
,Igowit
htheflow.
"
Isur
edoser
vesomegoodf
ood.
",hesaysnear
ing
me.
Hegrabsapiecefrom t
hebowlandput sitinhi
s
mouth.Heputsthebowlinthesinkbehindhim and
get
sinbetweenmyt hi
ghs.Hebet terki
ssmecause
i
fhedoesn'ti
nthenextminuteI'l
lgoallHOEonhi m.
Herunshishandsonmyt hi
ghsandpul l
smeal it
tl
e
bi
tclosert
ohim.Thisisafi
rst.Theonlytouchi
ng
wedidishugsandthepal
m onmyl
owerbackwhen
weenterarest
aur
ant.
"I
'
m amanofpr incipl
eandr espect
.I'm whatyou
callol
dschoolwithatingeofmoder nit
y."
,heinches
cl
oserandourgr oi
nsar et
ouching.
Hebett
ersaywhathewantst
osay'f
astqui
ck'
causet
hiscl
osenesshasmethr
obbi
ngdownther
e.
"
Bengisacel
aukuthiubewumkami
."(
Pleasebemy
wif
e.)
,Ndabenkhul
u.
Iwidenmyeyesandstut
ter
.What
?!Hej
umped
fr
om fri
endst
owife.
"Uh.Ndabenkhulu.That
's.
..Wow..
.Huge.
",Ican'
t
evenform asensibl
esentenceri
ghtnow.
"
I'm notgrowi
nganyyoungerasyoucanseet he
whitehairsur
faci
ng.Ican'tbehavingagirl
fr
iend
whenI '
m abouttoturn30.Thatjustdoesn'
tsound
r
ight.Iwanttomakeyoumywi feandwe'vegotten
t
oknoweachot herreal
lywell.
",herest
shiselbows
l
ightlyonmyt hi
ghsandl ooksatme.
"
Mar
ri
agei
sabi
gst
ep.Wehaven'
tevenhadsex
yet
."
,Isayl
ooki
ngaway.
"Wecanhavesexifyouwantt
o."
,hesaysmaki
ng
somerealdeepeyecont
act
.
"
Idi
dn'
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
."
,Imeanti
tli
ket
hatbuthey.
"
Thanwhatdi
dyoumean?
",heasksi
nchi
ngcl
oser
t
omyneck.
"Uh..
.I.
..Justt
hat..
.It
s..
.Uh.
..
",Icl
earmyt
hroatasI
feelhi
swar m breat
hmaket hehair
sonmyneck
stand.
"
Iaskedaquesti
onNoxol
o."
,henipsmyneckandI
moanandclenchmythi
ghsaroundhi
m.
Hef
oundoneofmyweakspot
s.
"
Answerme.
",
hishandssqueezemyt
highs.
Ipul
lhisfaceandkisshi
m.Somet i
mesi fyouwant
somethingdoneyouhavet odoi tyourself
.Hishand
goesundermyshi r
tandher unshi shandi nthe
middl
eofmybackandIshi ver.Heuncl i
psmybr a
andhelpsmeoutofi t
.Hishandt hangr absmy
boobwhi l
ehisthumbrubsmyni pple.Hisother
handsunbottonsandunzipsmyj eans.Ili
kewhere
t
hisi
sgoi
ng.Thehoei
nmei
syodel
li
ng.
"
Room?
",heaskski
ssi
ngmyneck.
"
No.Ri
ghther
e."
,Iunt
iehi
ssweat
pant
s.
"
Finebyme.
",Ndabenkhul
u.
Isneakmyhandinsi
dehispantsandmylit
tl
ehand
can'
tevenholdhi
mfull
yin.Imassagehi
sball
sand
hegroans.[
REMOVED]

KUHLEKONKE
"Thatshoul
ddoi t
.Tol
dyounottopullt
oohardon
thehandcuff
s."
,Bheki
khayasaysext
ract
inghi
s
hand.
Ianalysemywr i
stsandthey'
rered.Theoint
menthe
j
ustboughthelpssoothetheit
chiness.Hestar
ts
dri
vingwhist
li
ng.
"Inevergottot
hankyouforgivi
ngmeachancet o
bemyownper son.I
'
mr enovati
ngathomeandcan
final
lytakeAmandatot
hatBoar di
ngSchoolFor
Chef si
nCapeTownsheal wayswantedwithout
stressi
ngaboutouri
nheri
tancemoneyrunning
out
."
,Isayki
ssi
nghi
m att
her
edl
ight
.
"I
'm gl
adyouuseditwell
.You'
retaki
ngAmandato
boardi
ngschool
?",heasksl
ookingatmebef
ore
focusi
ngontheroad.
"
Yeah.Sheinsisted.Sheal
wayswant
edt
oat
tend
t
here.
",
Isaytakinghisphone.
"
ManNkosi
nat
hii
sgonnal
osei
t.
",
Bheki
khaya
"I
tsl
if
e.It
hinkAmandai
sal
sor
unni
ngawayf
rom
him.
"
HenodsandIt
akepi
ctur
eswi
thhi
sphone.
"Hey.I
ncl
udemeinthepi
ctur
es.
",hesayspar
king
outsi
demyhouse.
"
Khaya.
",Isaymovi
ngt
hephone.
Igi
vehi
m hi
sphonebackandweki
ss.
"
GreetAmandaandSanel
eforme.Ihaveameet
ing
i
nanhour.I'
l
lseet
hem af
ter
."
,hesayski
ssi
ngmy
f
orehead.
"Sui
tslooksgoodonyou.Sexi
er.
",Icl
oset
hedoor
andblowhi m aki
ss.
If
indt
heki
dswat
chi
ngamovi
eeat
ingpopcor
n.
"
Hey.Noxai
n'tbackyet
?",
Iasksi
tt
ingi
nbet
ween
t
hem.
"
Nope.
",t
heygetbackt
owat
chi
ngTV.
I'
mr eall
ytir
edsinceIdidn'
tsleepmuchwi thmy
ZuluChr i
sti
anGreyhavingmecr yi
ngwithorgasms.
Isti
llhavetofi
ndapr esentforhim.Hisbir
thdayis
i
naweekandIam gi ftsearching.Bei
nginloveis
themostgr eat
estthi
ngeverespeci al
lyofyou'
rein
l
ovewi thsomeonewhof eel
'sthesameway.
45
LANGALAKHE
Ilookatherdressedinhersangomacl othsasshe
kneelsinfr
ontofhermot hersgrave.Sheis
clappingandgrunti
ngwhi l
etheincensesmoke
raisi
ngupt othesky.Iseehersmi l
eandstandsup
dustingherkneesandwal kstowardsus.
"
Sheagr
eed.
",shesayshuggi
ngme.
"
Kuhl
endodakazi
."
,herf
athersayssmi
li
ng.
"
Shesaysshe'
sgoi
ngt
oshowmet
heway.Let
'sgo
homefi
rstandwe'
lll
eaveintwodays."
,shesays
put
ti
ngherancest
ralbagoverhershoulder
.
WegetinthecarandIdr
iveoutoft
hecemeter
y.I
'
m
gl
adshe'sget
ti
ngsomewherewithherj
our
ney.
"
Imi
ssedmyki
ds.Letmecal
lThando.
",Unyezi
"
I'
m gl
adwe'
regoi
nghome.
",Isaysmi
li
ngather
.
Herf
atheri
sasleepi
nthebackseat
.Hemustbe
t
ir
ed.We'vebeenwaki
ngupdawn.
"
Iam soexhaust
ed.Wannadr
ive?
",Iaskher
.
"
Okay.We'
l
ltaket
urnsal
ongt
heway.
",Unyezi
.
Istoponthesideoftheroadandweexchange
seats.Shepecksmyl i
psandst ar
tst
hecar
.Iregr
et
thedecisi
onofmakingherdr i
vewhenshebolt
son
theroad.Ifor
gott
hisonethinksshe'
sinarace
course.
"Unyezi
.Uf
unaukusi
bhodi
sa?
"(Youwanttoki
ll
us?),
Iaskmaki
ngsur
emyseatbelti
ssecur
e.
"
Langa.Lal
a."(
Sleep.
),
shesaysst
eppi
ngont
hegas.
Isi
ghi
ndef
eatandl
owermyseat
.Il
ookather
beforeclosi
ngmyeyes.Ifal
linlovewithher
everyday.She'
ssti
llt
hecenterofmyuni verse.I
'
m
happyt obewithheronherspiri
tualj
ourney.Iput
myhandonhert hi
ghandfallasleep.

KHULEKANI
Tshegoisl
aughi
ngatmeasIt
ellherwhatIj
ust
wentthr
ough.
"
Ihavebadl
uckIswear
."
,Isaydr
inki
ngm beer
.
"
Soyoujustt
ookt
hepot
s?Khul
ekanino!
",Tshego
l
aughsagai
n.
"Thi
sisnotfunnySeho.Therewereclothesont he
barstool
sthi
ssideI'
m surr
oundedbymoani ng.I
grabbedwhatIcameforandr an.
",It
ellher
.
"I
fit
snotyourfatheri
tsyourbrot
her
?Wow!You
needtobecleansed."
,Tshego
"
Honest
ly.
"
We'resi
tt
ingonthecouchfullwat
chingsome
romcom onNetfli
xTshegochose.She'
slyi
ngon
chestandplayi
ngwithfi
nger
s.Thereissomeheavy
ki
ssi
ngi
nthi
smovi
eandIkeeponl
ooki
ngather
l
ips.
"
I'
m comi
ng.
",Isayst
andi
ngup.
"
Okay.
",shehasherf
ocusont
hemovi
e.
Ili
ghtmyci gar
ett
eandsmokewhi l
et aki
ngout
somesnacks.Wher earemychocol atebiscui
ts?
Ah.hathereyouare.Iputouttheci garet
teandtake
offmyshirtcauseitsmell
soft obaccoandTshego
hassinuses.Icarr
yeveryt
hingt otheTVr oom.I'
m
thi
nkingofhavingacinemai nstal
ledinmyhouse.
"
Snacksmal
ady.
",Isayput
ti
ngever
ythi
ngdown.
Shegrabsapacketandl
ooksupatme.Hereyes
st
artanal
ysi
ngmeandshecl ear
shert
hroat
.
"
Nicet
att
oos.
",shesaysl
ooki
ngatmyv-
li
ne.
"
Niceneh?
",Iaskf
oldi
ngmyar
mssmi
rki
ng.
"
Ver
yni
ce.
",hereyeseyemyt
runkandIl
augh.
"
Okay.St
opundr
essi
ngme.
",Isaysi
tt
ingnextt
oher
.
Shesucksherteet
handpushesmebutendsup
keepi
ngherhandonmychest.Shet
racesi
tdown
t
omyabsandIhol
dherhandwheni
tgoesl
ower
.
"
Ookay.
",Isayt
aki
ngherhandaway.
Shelooksatmewi
thherl
owerl
ipst
uckoutwhi
le
bl
inki
ng.
"
Whatdoyouwant
?",
Iaskeyei
ngher
.
"
YouknowwhatIwant
."
,Tshego
"
NoIdon'
t.
"
"Shoul
dIshowyouwhatIwant
?",
sheasks
seduct
ivel
y.
"
Ifyoumay.
",Isayl
ayi
ngbackont
hecouch.
Sheclimbsont opofmeandherleat
herski
rtgoes
higherexposi
ngcreamythi
ghs.Sheki
sseswhile
herhandsr ubonme.Agroanescapesmylipsas
shesqueezesmydi ckt
hroughmysweatpants.
"
Shi
t!Sehowai
t.
",Isaypul
li
ngback.
Sheretreat
sandIrubmyf ace.Thi
swomani s
ki
ll
ingme.Whi leI
'
mt r
yingtogetmythoughtsin
checkshegr i
ndsonmeandIgr oan.Ichangeour
posit
ionandlayonthecouch.She'
swear i
ngan
oversi
zedteewit
houtabraandIunt
ucki
tpul
li
ngi
t
overherhead.It
akeonenippl
einmymouthandl
et
i
tpopout .
"I
fyoudon'
ttel
lmetostopnowIdoubtIwi
ll
."
,It
ell
herunzi
ppi
ngherski
rt
.
"Don'
tstop.
",shesaysl
if
ti
ngupherl
egsasIpul
l
herski
rtdown.
Il
ookatherandIl ovethestr
etchmar ksontheside
ofherbumsandt highs.Shehasreallyni
cethighs
andlegs.Thisneedsaphot o.Ipulloutmyphot o
andshehi desherf aceasIcaptur
et hi
sbeauty.
"
Khul
ebat
hong.
",shesaysl
aughi
ng.
Igetinbetweenhert highsandtracelovebi
tesina
str
aightli
nefrom herchesttil
lhertor
so.Shehasa
l
acet hongon.Itwistitinmyf i
ngershardenough
fori
ttotearinhalf.
"
Khul
ekani
!"
,sheexcl
aims.
Isnapi
tagainanditf
all
sofffrom herbody.She
si
ghsindefeat
.Ir
unmyf ingerdownhervagi naand
she'
swet.
"
Mmmmh.
",shemoansi
npl
easur
e.
Shepushesmyheadi nasInipathercli
t.She
tastesamazing.Herthi
ghsshakeandshepushes
mei ndeeperwhi l
eshethr
ushesaround.Ili
ckher
cleanandshel ooksatmeandhercheeksar epi
nk.
"Wai
t.I
'l
lbeback."
,Isayst
andi
ngupandr un
upst
air
s.Itakeoutsomecondomsandr unback
downstai
rs.ShehascondomsinherhandandI
l
augh.
"Youwereprepar
edneh?
",Iaskherget
ti
ngbet
ween
herthi
ghs.
"
Always.
",shesayst
ear
ingi
twi
thhert
eet
h.
Sherol
lsitonmymanhoodandIf ounditsosexy.
Shegrabsitandi
nsertsitherselfandIgr oanatthe
warmness.Manshe'stight.Shewr apsherlegs
ar
oundmeandmovesherwai stinsyncwi thmine.
She'
sperfect
.Act
ive.Tightandwar m.

NKOSI
NATHI
I
'
m checki
ngAmandasst
atus.Shepost
edan
Accept
ionl
ett
ertosomeBoardi
ngSchooli
nCape
Town.Ical
lherandsheanswer
saft
erafewri
ngs.
"
Hey.
",hervoi
cechi
mes.
"
Amanda.
",
Iam pi
ssed.
"What
'swr
ongbr
o?"
,sheaskswor
ryl
acedi
nher
voi
ce.
"You'r
echangingschool
s?CapeTown?Andyou
didntevent
ellme?",
thedi
stast
einmyvoi
cecl
ear
.
"
Iwasgoi
ngt
otel
lyou.
"
"
When?
"
"HayiNkosi
nat
hikant
iyi
ni?
"(What
'swr
ong?
),she
asksannoyed.
"Canyoucomeover
?Weneedt
otal
k."
,Isaysi
tt
ing
up.
"
I'
m busy.
",shel
iest
ome.
"
Ber
eadyi
n45mi
nut
es.
",
Isaydr
oppi
ngt
hecal
l.
Ithoughtweweref
ri
endsandt heleastshecoul
d
dowast el
lmeshe'
sleaving.Iwearajacketwhi
le
shir
tl
essandrundownstair
s.
"
Aunt
y."
,Isayki
ssi
nghercheek.
Iki
ssNkanyezi
scheekandhel
aughs.
"Yourmom andDadarecomi
ngback.
",shesays
handingmeasandwich.
"Okay.I
'l
lbeoutf
orawhi
le.
",
Itakeabi
teoft
he
sandwich.
Ir
unbacktomyroom andtakeuncleKhul
ekani
s
ol
dapart
mentkeys.I
tsminenowbutIcanonly
moveoutwhenI'
m 18.Iaskt
hedrivert
odri
veto
Amandaspl
ace.
It
exthert
hatI
'
m out
sideandshebl
uet
icksme.
"
I'
llknocki
fyoudon'
tcomeout
."
,It
exther
.
Iseeheropent
hegateandapproachest
hecar.I
openthedoorf
rom t
heinsi
deandshejumpsin.
"
Real
lyNkosi
nat
hi?
",sheaskspi
ssed.
"Weneedtotalk.You'
vebeenavoi
dingme.Ihadt
o."
,
Isaysmil
ing.
Shecli
ckshert
ongueandfoldsherar
ms.It
ellt
he
dri
vert
otakeustotheapar
tmentandshegi
vesme
thesti
nkeye.Itsasilentrideinthecarwi thheron
thephone.Wegetoutandcl imbthest air
stil
lwe
reachthedoor.Ionlycomeher ewhenIneedsome
ti
meal one.Langaisalwayswi t
hPl ut
oorSanel e.I
j
ustcomeher etogethi ghandplayvi deogames.I
l
ightajointwhil
ethrowi ngmysel font hebed.It
sa
bachel
orapar t
mentsoever ythi
ngi snear.Amanda
sit
sont hecouchandf oldherfeet.She'sreal
ly
beauti
fulandtherealestfriendI'
veeverhad.She
hasdreamsandgoal s.
"
Comesi
ther
e."
,Isaypat
ti
ngt
hespacenextt
ome.
"
No.Whatdi
dyouwantust
otal
kabout
?"
"
Whyar
eyour
unni
ngaway?
"
"
WhosaidI
'mrunningaway?From what
?",
sheasks
t
hrowi
ngherhandsintheai
r.
"Fr
om me.Goingt
oCapeTownwon' trever
sewhat
happenedbet
weenus.
",Isaysi
tt
ingup.
"Noteveryt
hingi
saboutyouNkosi
nat
hi!
",sher
aises
hervoice.
"
Ungangi
bangel
iumsi
ndomi
naAmanda.
Ngikhul
umakahl enawewenaungi khuphulel
aizi
.
Ngazongidi
nawena."(Don'
tmakenoi se.Imtalki
ng
ni
celytoyouandyou'rerai
singyourvoice.Dont
annoyme. )
,Isayput
ti
ngthejointout
.
Ihatenoiseanditagi
tat
esmewhensomeone
rai
sestheirvoi
ceatmeandsheknowsi
t.
"
Nowwhenar
eyoul
eavi
ng?
",Iaskhercal
mly.
"Nextyear.They'
rewaiti
ngformyfinalr
epor
tandI
canbegi venmyr oom numberandthenecessi
ti
es.
",
shesayspl ayi
ngwi t
hherfi
ngers.
"
I'
m goi
ngt
omi
ssyou.
",Ihonest
lysay.
"
Met
oobutt
hisi
sformyf
utur
e."
,Amanda
"
Comeher
e."
,Iext
endmyhand.
Shestandsupandwal kstowar
dsme.Imoveup
andlaybackandshel aysonmychest .I
'
vehad
ti
met othi
nkeveryt
hingthr
oughandIdol ove
Amandabutt her
eisa40%chanceaf t
ershecomes
backfrom CapeTownwecanst i
llcl
ick.
"Di
dyoutel
lyoursi
sterwher
eyouwer
egoi
ng?
",I
askpl
ayi
ngwi t
hherhair
.
Shenods.
"
I'
m sur
eshehat
esme.
"
"Notreal
ly.Shei snotevenenter
taini
ngi
t.Shetook
met othedoct orlastweekandgotmeon
contr
aceptives.Itwassoembar rassi
ng.
",shesays
coveri
ngherf ace.
"
Yoursi
steri
scr
azybutcool
."
"She'
sworsewhenshe'swi
thNoxol
o.Psychos.
",
sheshakesherhead.
"
You'
veneverbeeni
noner
oom wi
thmyf
ami
ly.
"
"
Fami
lyi
scoolt
hou.
",shesayssmi
li
ng.
Inodtur
ningusoverandget
ti
ngi
nbet
weenher
thi
ghs.
"
Nat
hi.
"
"
Yes?
"
Sheshakesherheadandkissesme.I
'
m gladshe'
s
weari
ngadresscauseIal
readyhaveitt
ossed
acr
osstheroom.
NDABENKHULU
Il
ookatherasshe'
sasl
eep.Hereyesf
lat
teropen
andshesi
tsupwipi
nghereyes.
"
Hey.
",Igr
eetki
ssi
nghershoul
der
.
"
Hey.
",sheyawnsout
.
"Imadelunch.Shower.Yourclot
hesareont
heli
ne
sopicksomef rom mycloset
.There'
sanext
ra
toot
hbrushinthecabi
net."
Shenodsandget soutbedst il
lhalfasleep.Ican't
helpl ookingatherbut tassheheadst othe
bathr oom.Gi rli
st hick.Ichanget hesheet sandgo
dishupf orus.GuessKhul ekanicameandt ookhis
foodwi thmypot sandI '
llnevergett hem back
knowi ngthatidiot.Iremi ndThandot ot akeherpi l
ls.
We' replanningonaski ngheraboutt hisSthembi so
Mt hethwal atertonight .Theyr ejecti
ngmyi deaof
kil
linghi m soI '
ml etti
ngt hem t r
yt osolvethis.
Noxol ocomesdowni nmyT- shirtandherbi rthmar k
onhert highisbeaut i
ful.
"
Comeher
e."
,Isaypul
li
nghert
ome.
"
I'
m sohungr
y."
,shecompl
ains.
Il
if
therupandputheront
hecount
er.
"
Take.
",Ihandherpl
ate.
"
Thankyou.
",sheki
ssesme.
Isi
tont
hebar
stooli
nfr
ontofher
.
"Gi
vemeyourl
efthand.
",Isaysear
chi
ngi
nmy
pocket
.
Sheplacesi
tinmyhandandIsl
idet
hesi
lver
engagementri
ngwi
thapinkdi
amond.
"
Wer
eyouser
ious?
",sheasksl
ooki
ngati
t.
"
Yes.I
'
mtoool
dforgames.
"
"
I.
..Whendi
dIsayyesagai
n?"
,sheaskst
ouchi
ng
t
hediamond.
"
Whenyouwer
eunderme.
",Isayki
ssi
nghert
high.
"
Iwasn'
tagr
eei
ng.
..I
..
.YohNdabe.
",shel
aughs.
"
Im asmar
tman.Al
waysgetmyway.
"
"
I'
mtaki
ngahugest
epi
fIagr
eet
othi
s."
,Noxol
o.
"
Ngi
yakut
handa.
",It
ellhersi
ncer
ely.
"
Namingi
yakut
handa.
",shesaysget
ti
ngemot
ional
.
"
Xol
oha.
a",
Iwi
pehert
ear
s.
"
I'
m sorr
y.I
'
mj ust
..
.Ican'
tbel
ievet
his.I
'
m scar
ed
t
hou."
,shel
et'
smei n.
"Iunder
standthat
.Ipromisetoneverli
ftahandon
you.Iwasr ai
sedwell
.PlusI'
m nottooldtogeta
whoopingfrom Dad.
",It
ellherki
ssi
nghercheeks.
Sheoncet ol
dmeaboutherprevi
ousr
elat
ionshi
p
eventhoughIal
readyknewandwasdeali
ngwi t
h
him.
"
Stopcr
ying.I
tsokay.
",Iembr
aceher
.
Nothi
ngmakesmeasangr yasamant hatabusesa
woman.I fyoufeelyoucan'
tcontr
olyouremoti
ons
thangetout.Getasmoke.Getsomeai r.Comeback
calmerandt al
kitout.Noneedtouseyourstr
ength
tohurther.I
tspatheti
c.
46
UNYEZI
'
FALLOFTHETHRONE'
Westandout
sidel
ooki
ngatwhati
scal
ledt
heRoyal
Pal
ace.
"Di
dyourancest
orstel
lyouaboutthi
s?",
Langa
askspi
cki
ngupt heashandquickl
ylet'
sitgo.
"Nothi
ng.Imayhavefel
tdetachedwhenwe
crossedthebor
derbutIdi
dn'tt
akemuchint
oit
."
,I
saylooki
ngaround.
"Whathappened?Wher
ear
ethepeopl
e?"
,Langa
asks.
"
Idon'
tknow.Ever
ythi
ngi
sgone.
",Isay.
Ali
ghtcatchesmysightandIheadtowardst
he
br
ight
ness.It'
sacr
own.Itouchitanditgl
ows.

Iwakeupheavingandthef
eeli
ngofdet
achment
maki ngmegri
patmychest.Iwhi
zzasIcoughand
feelasifmyai
rwayiscl
osi
ngup.
"
Langa!
",Icoughout
.
If
allf
rom t
hebedandt
ear
sdr
ipdownont
othef
loor
.
"
Unyezi
!What
'
swr
ong.
!"
,Langashout
spi
cki
ngme
up.
"
Imphepho!
",Imoant
hroughmypai
n.
Her
unsthr
oughourhouseandput
smedownon
t
hefl
oor
.
"
Laymeont opofthewhi
tecl
oth.
",It
ellhi
m asIf
eel
myjoi
ntsst
iff
en.
"Laymyheadont heblueandredcl
oth.
",ascr
eam
escapesmydr yl
ipsasIfeel
anexcruci
ati
ngpain
rippl
ethr
oughoutmybody.
"Putt
hecl othwit
hthef
aceofKingSwationtopof
me.",Iorderhi
m asmybodyseemstohavelosti
ts
sensation.
HedoesasIsayandIf eelacrucialpainoffi
re
tr
avelthroughmyveinsandIscr eam.Langal ight
s
i
mphephoandmakesmesni ffsnuf fandIfeelthe
painl
essenbuti t
ssti
llt
herej
ustt oler
able.If
eel
manypr esencesatonceandaheadachemakesme
grunt
.
"
THETHRONEHASFALLEN!ASHESTOASHES!
",
t
hesewor
dsar
echant
ed.
They'
retool oudandthey'
recomingforwardallat
once.Ifeelsomethi
ngdr i
ponmyhand.Iwi pemy
noseandcomebackwi t
hblood.Langatri
es
walki
ngt owardsmebutIshakemyhead.It hrow
thecrushedherbfrom myancestralbagandpourit
i
nsidetheseawat erfi
ll
edbowl.Whatseemsl ikea
RoyalYar di
sonf i
rewithpeoplet
orchingi
tinanger.
I'
veseent hi
splaceinmydr eams.
"
No!No!No!Noooooo!
",Iscr
eam r
eal
isi
ngmy
f
ail
ure.
Ifail
ed!Iwassocaughtuponmymot herspastI
forgotmyquest.Myheadt hrobsasIl ayonthe
ground.Theroom goesdarkandIshi verasachi l
l
runsthroughmyspine.Langai sstandingquiet
lyi
n
thecornerobl
ivi
oustothefigureinther oom.
"
Unyezi .Ourt
hronehasf all
en.Burntt
otheground.
Gor etr
ievet
hecrown.Al eaderyou'l
lbearwil
l
restor
ewhat '
sfal
len.
",t
hegl owingfi
gurekneel
sin
frontofmegivingmeacl earl
ookofherface.
"
Gogo?I
'
m sor
ry!I
t'
smyf
aul
t.
",Isaycr
ying.
Theheadachei
smaki
ngmedi
zzy.
"Whatyou'
vebeengif
tedwil
lbetaken.Wai
ti
ngtobe
givent
otheFutur
e."
,shesaysasherhandtouches
myhead.
Ifal
lbackasIf eelempty.No.Theycan'tpuni
shme
l
ikethis.Theycan'
ttakemygi f
t.Thefeeli
ngof
anothersoulwithi
nmei sabsent.
"
No.
",Isayf
aint
ly.
Langapi cksmeupandwi pesmynosebefore
takingmet oourroom.If
eell
ikeapartofmeis
mi ssi
ng.Iclawatmychestscreami
ng.

KUHLEKONKE
Ivomi tagainandl aymyheadagai nstthewallasI
sitont hebathroom floor.It
sabout09h00am andI
feelli
kedeat h.Istandupandf lush.Ibrushmy
teethandl ookatmysel fi
nthemi r
ror.Myeyesare
swol l
enandmycheeksar epink.Iwashmyf ace
andgot othekitchenwhi leonmyphone.
Bheki khayasvideocal lcomest hrough.Icl
ickmy
tongueandr ej
ectit.Iopent hefri
dgeandIst art
crying.Isthi
swhatmyl if
ewi l
lbe?Waki ngupear l
y
pukingandf eelinglikehell
?IhateBhekikhaya!I
takelastnightsleftoversandwar mthem.Iwal k
backt omyr oom eat ing.Thepregnancytestont he
bedsi decatchesmyat t
enti
onandIcr yagain.I'
ve
beensuspect ingthatImaybepr egnantsinceI
mi ssedanappoi ntmentandI '
vebeendoingitraw
withBhekikhaya.I tcameoutPosi ti
veandI '
vebeen
avoidinghim since.Ior der
edAmandat onotlethim
i
n.Ieatbuti tdoesn' tseem togodownandIst art
crying.Hecallsagai n.Leavemeal one!Icryti
llIfal
l
asleep.

NOXOLO
I'
vebeentryi
ngt ocal
lKuhl eandshe'snot
answeri
nganyone'scalls.Itr
yagainandi tr
ings
unansweredagain.I'
l
lpassbyherpl acewhenI
knockoff
.Ilookatmyl efthandandsmi le.Many
mightsayitstoosoonbuti tfeel
sri
ght.Tshegohas
anewmanandshei sgivingmet he"i
tstooearl
yto
gopubli
c."excuse.Shewashappyf ormeandI
wishKuhlecananswermycal l
ssoIcanshar et
his
withher
.
"
NoSne.I
cei
tthancoveri
twi
thmoul
d."
,Isay.
"
Okay.
",
shesaysner
vousl
y.
She'snewandshe'
ssuchasof t
ie.Igotomyof fice
andf i
ndmom t
here.Ihugherbefor
esitt
ingdown.I
tol
dheraboutt
heengagementandshedi dn'
teven
j
udgemewhenIt oldherwewentf rom f
ri
endst o
fi
ances.
"
Mybaby.
",shesmi
les.
"
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
",Isaynot
ici
nghernewf
acel
if
t.
"
It
sexpensi
vet
rustme.
",shesaysf
li
cki
ngher
weave.
"
Isee.
",Isayt
hankeepqui
et.
We'renotclose.Mom i swhatyoucal laMI LF.She'
s
beenmar ri
ed5t i
mesal readyandi scur r
entl
y
mar r
iedtothisguyfrom England.Itseemsgenui ne
butyouneverknowwi thmom.Shedi vorcedDad
andmar ri
edAguer osomer i
chNigerianguyandI
stayedwithDadwhol aterdi
edandt ofindouthe
wasi ndebt.Ihadlostcontactwithmymom asshe
wasonhusbandno. 3andIst art
edwor ki
ngatthe
Str
ipCl ubt ofini
shmyst udies.That swhereImet
Kuhle.Wef oundeachot herrecent l
ywhenIbakeda
cakef orher4t hhusbandsdaught er.Shejustgot
marriedaf ter5yearsofmar riage.Shepr obabl
yhas
done13sur geri
es.Shehasi mpl ant
sandt heworks.
Shebel ievesi nDoll
yPartonsol dwor ds"Surgeons
werenotmadesot heycanst arve."
.
"Sohaveyoust art
edwitht
heweddi ngprepar
at i
ons?
Iresearchedyourmanandyout ookaft
erme
darli
ng.Hei sfil
thyri
ch.Ri
cherthananymanI 've
everbeenwi t
h."
,shesaysfanni
nghersel
fwi t
h
thoseChi nesefans.
"Yeah.Hi
sri
ch.Idon'
tknowwher et
ostar
t.I
'
ve
neverbeenmarr
iedbefor
e."
,Isayshr
uggi
ng.
"I
'
vehadmyf ai
rshareofweddi
ngsandIam her
eto
help.
",shesayspul
li
ngoutmagazi
nesfr
om her
Guccihandbag.
"
Thankyou.
",Isaygr
abbi
ngone.
"Whatki
ndofdr
essdoyoupr
efer
?",sheasks
poi
nti
ngatacol
umnofbeaut
if
uldresses.
I
'
m gl
adshe'
sher
eformesi
ncemypat
ernalsi
de
andIdon'tgetal
ongafterDadsdeat
h.Momsf ami
ly
consi
stsofhousewivesandwedon'tcl
ick.I
'
ma
hoodgirlanddri
nki
ngteawi t
hmypinkyoutisa
sham t
ome.

BHEKI
KHAYA
Ilookatherasshesl eepswiththepregnancytest
i
nmyhand.Amandal etmeincauseshewas
wor ri
edabouther.She'sbeenavoidi
ngmeand
reject
ingmycal l
s.Iputmyhandonherst omach.
It
sst i
llf
latandIsmileandwipeat ear.Theideaof
havingami nimei sj
ustamazing.Ilaynexttoher
andhol dher.She'
sprobablygoingtof l
ipwhenshe
wakesupbutImi ssedher.

AMANDA
Iam worr
iedaboutmysister.Shehasbeensi ck
l
atel
yandverymoody.Imakesur etostayoutof
herway.She'
llski
nmeal i
vef orl
etti
ngBhutii
nafter
sheorder
edmet onotl
ethim oranyoneforthat
matt
er.WhenIaskherwhat '
swr ongit
'sl
ikeshe
turnsintot heDevil
sfemal ever si
on.Iam pr act
ici
ng
anewr ecipe.It
sanI t
aliandi shwhi chIcan'
teven
pronounce.Imakei tl
ookcr eati
veandt akea
picture.IpostitonmyI nstagram andWhat sApp
status.Cooki ngismyt alent.Theonl yti
meIf eel
special.It
'sonet hi
ngIcanneverl ivewithout.

KHULEKANI
Ireadoverthefi
leagainonTshego.I '
mj ustdoinga
normalbackgroundcheck.She' scl
ean.Herf at
her
thou.Hisavery'danger
ous' man.Hisintohuman
traf
fi
ckinganddrugsmuggl ing.Ihaverecordsof
hisphonecall
sandt exts.Iknowhedi sowned
Tshegoandwhyshehasn' tsharedthiswithmeI
don'tknow.
"
Khabazel
a."
,Ical
lout
.
Hecomesi nandst
andinfr
ontofmydesk.I
'm
abouttorat
tl
esomeone'
scage.Ihandhi
mthetal
e
andfi
le.
"
Handt
hisovert
otheaut
hor
it
ies.
"
Henodsandheadsf
ort
hedoor
.
"Notjustanyone.Makesur
eitendsuponDet
ect
ive
Smith."
HegoesoutandIsitbackonmychair.Ser
ame
Thangohasahugest or
m cominghi
sway.Bei
ng
partofpol
it
icswon'
thel
phim whenDect.
Smit
his
i
nvolved.
47
KUHLEKONKE
Iwakeupt oBhekikhayanextt ome.Hissti
llasl
eep
andIl ookathimf orawhil
e.Hi sabeauti
ful
specimen.Thi ckeyebrowsaccompani edbylong
eyelasheswi t
hacut enoseanddar kli
ps.Ilookat
thePr egnancyTesti nhi
shandandt heanger
resurfacesandIpi nchhim causi
nghimt ojump.
"
Ouch!Dammi
t!
",hesaysr
ubbi
nghi
sar
m.
Wemakeeyecontactandthestar
sgli
mmer
beaut
if
ull
yasconst
ell
ati
onsfor
m.Hebl i
nksandI
l
ookathim ashel
ooksatthepr
egnancytesti
nhi
s
hand.
"
Sovelengi
zobayit
aima?"(
SoI
'
m goi
ngt
obea
f
ather
?),
hesayssmil
ing.
"Yes.Myl i
fepl
ani
sruined.Ihadati
mel
inebut
now...
",Isi
ghasIgetupandt aket
hedi
shtothe
kit
chen.
If
indhi
m seat
edont
hebedpl
ayi
ngwi
thi
t.
"It
houghtyouwer
eont
hepi
ll
."
,hesaysl
ooki
ngup
atme.
"Iwas.Myli
fehasbeenbusy.Imissedone
appoint
mentandeveryt
hingwentdownhil
l.
",Isay
sit
ti
ngnextt
ohim.
"Whatareyousoaf r
aidoff
?Icanseet
hef
eari
n
youreyes.
",hesaysholdi
ngmyhand.
"Beingamom.I tsnotsomethi
ngyoucangoto
schoolfor.Gr
aduate.Becomeapro.Youdon'
t
studyit
.",
Isayinter
twini
ngourfi
nger
s.
"You'
vebeenabletotakecar
eofAmandaaf
teryour
parent
sdied.
",Bheki
khaya
"Asasist
er.Notamom.Thisonechanges
ever
ythi
ng.ManMom probabl
yisdisappoi
ntedi
n
me.
",Isayr
ubbi
ngmyeyesast
heyst
artt
ost
ing.
"
I'
llbeher
etosupportyou.I
'
llhel
p.I
tsmybabyas
well
."
,hesayski
ssi
ngmyhands.
"
Mmmmh.
",Ihum l
ayi
ngmyheadonhi
sshoul
der
.
Iguesshispr esencecalmedt hestor
minme.Ihad
pl
annedt ocast r
atehim butIguessnotever
ythi
ng
goesaspl anned.Hepl aceshishandonmyf lat
stomachandIpl acemineonhi s.Thi
sisnothowI
pl
annedhavi ngmyf i
rstchi
ld.Heck!Idi
dn'
teven
pl
ant ohaveoneatal l.

UNYEZI
"Thi
nkpositi
ve.Wecanf ocusonusmor e.Focuson
yourself
.Youhavelosttouchwit
hr eal
it
ywi th
alwaysbeingstuckbetweenthetwowor lds.Don'
t
seeitasapunishmentbutasagi ft
.Ar eversedgi
ft
.
You'l
lbeabletohavemor eti
mef orourkids.Mostl
y
me.",LangasaysasIlayonhischest .
I
'
m angry.Theyal
waysgivi
ngmeandwhenIgrasp
t
heytakeawayagain.I
tssi
ckeni
ng.Al
it
tl
epr
ayer
f
lashest
hroughmymi
nd.
"God.Don'
teverbl
essmewit
hadaught
er.Ever
!Cut
offt
heSosiboQueendom.Makesur
eIwasthelast
one.Amen."
Heki
ssesmyheadandt
akesmyhandi
nhi
s.
"
Iloveyou.You'
l
lal
waysbemyQueen.
",Langasays
t
enderl
y.
Ifeelastrongwaveofemot i
onsbustinme.Love
themost.Mychestwar msupandtearsfil
lmyeyes
asmyl ovespr eadsthroughoutmybodyandIhear
ourheartbeatsbeatinsynclikeabeauti
ful
lymade
songofdi ff
erentinst
ruments.Thel
ongerIlist
ent
he
mor eIf
allinlovewi t
hthissong.Asongonlyme
andhimt ogethercaneverhave.
"
Iloveyout
oo.
",Isaysnuggl
ingi
ntohi
m.
Hepullsmecl oserandIsnif
fhisscentandIsmi
le
athismanl ybutsweetcolognemi xedwit
h
aft
ershave.Thewor l
dismissingoutonsome
beauti
fulthing.Loveisbeauti
ful
.
TSHEGOFATSO
Iam lookingatt henewsst unnedasIseemyDad
beingpushedi nsi deapol icevan.Hi smaki ng
headlinesandIam sur prisedatt heal l
egat i
ons.He
wasi ntohumant rafficki ng.Bi l
er aisesont omy
throatasIt hi
nkoft hemanIcal l
edaFat hersell
ing
humansf ormoney.Doesheknowt heamountof
painbehascausedt of ami li
es?Leavi ngmot her
's
brokenwi thther ealityt hatt hei
rdaught ershave
becomeanot hervi ctim ofgr eedymen.Ican
i
magi net hescar edl ooksont hevi ctimsbei ng
auctionedt othehi ghestbi dder .Havi ngol dmen
fi
ndingdebaucher yi nyourf earsomesouland
getti
nger ecti
onsf rom yourpai nf ulscr eamsof
horror.Ishakemyheadashat eandanger
overwhelm me.I tsanugl ywor dandIt akemy
phoneandgol iveonI nst agram.Ihopemy
messagei shear doutt her e.
"Heyguys.Ihaveli
vedallmyli
fecal
li
ngaheartl
ess
andgreedyman' Dad'
withoutt
heknowledgeofhis
mali
ciousacti
ons.SerameThangoisamanIcal l
ed
'
Dad'mywhol eli
fe.Af
terseei
ngthenewstodayI
real
isedtheonlymanIthoughtIwassafearound
wasact ual
lymygreat
estdanger.
..
",Icl
osemyeyes
andsighbef or
ecar
ryi
ngon.
We'renotsafeanymore.Guessyoucanneverknow
someonet hatwel
l.MyheartachesandIcan'thel
p
butwonderhowmom i sdoinginalloft
his.Wil
lshe
reachouttomesi nceDadmaybegoi ngtojail
?

NDABENKHULU
Il
ookatherasshegoesonaboutt heweddi ng
pl
ansandshe' sbeaut if
ul.Sheoccasi onall
ybites
herli
pswi t
houtr ealisi
ngshe' sdoingit.Her
beauti
fuldarkskinr adiati
ngbeaut if
ullyunderthe
l
it
tlesunshinecomi ngthrought hewi ndow.Her
beauti
fulcaninet eethasshesmi l
eswi del
y.I'
ve
neverseenhert hishappy.Hereyesar eglowing
wit
hposi t
iveemot i
ons.Herener gyi saddicti
veand
makesmef eelli
keal ovestruckteenageragai n.
"It
hinkaBl
ackdr
esswi
lldo.
",shesaysget
ti
ngme
outofmytr
ance.
"
Abl
ackdr
ess?
",Iask.
"Yes.It
sabeaut i
fulcol
our.Mom saysI'
m crazybut
Ilovethi
sblackmer maiddress.IwaswatchingSay
YesToTheDr essEarli
erandifIcanhavemydr ess
designedbyRandy. "
,shesaysdreamly.
"
Well
thatcanbear
ranged.
",Isayt
aki
ngal
ookat
t
hedress.
Idon'tr
eall
ycarewhatcolourordr
essshewear s.
Shecancomedr essedi
nragsandI'dsti
llst
and
ther
eont hatal
terandsay'Ido'
wit
hpr i
de.
"
Youlovej
oki
ngar
ound.
",shewavesmeof
f
l
aughi
ng.
Shet
hinksI
'
mjoki
ng?Icanar
ranget
hatt
obedone.
"
I'
m ser
ious.
",
Isayl
ooki
ngather
.
"We'
retalki
ngaboutKl
einf
ordBri
dalBouti
queher
e."
,
shesayschuckli
ngandpagesthroughher
magazine.
Iguessshedoesn'
tbel
ieveme.I
'
llpr
oveherwr
ong
anyway.
"CanIgetsomeattenti
onnow?"
,Isaypi
cki
ngher
upandmaki nghersitonme.
Shesmi l
esandIpul lhercloserbyherfirm butt
.We
i
nchclosert oeachot herasourl i
psconnectanda
hi
m comesf rom her.Ican'tseem toimagineli
fe
wit
houther .Ifeelmybl oodrushandIget
goosebumpsandat inglysensati
oninmyst omach
andIsmi l
ei ntothekiss.Iwouldn'taskforanything
el
sethant hiswoman.

NKOSI
NATHI
Ilookatt hepianoandIbr ushi twit
hmyf ingers.I
haven'tdoneal otoft hingsinal ongtime.Playing
thepianooneoft hem.Isi tdownandabsor bt he
quietandpeacef ulaur a.IcanhearLangapl aying
carsint hepassage.Momsdi stinctsi
ngi
ngt o
NkanyeziasDadsl oudvoi cetalksovert
hephone.I
playthef ir
stkeyandIcl osemyeyes.Myf inger s
playaf ami l
iarsongandIl ett
hememor i
espl ayout
slowly.Momssi ttingnextt omewi thDadwhi le
Langacr awlsont hef l
oor .Iopenmymout hasI
singDadsf avorit
esong.
"
DearGodi
fyoul
ist
eni
ngnow.Ineedyoudoat
hing
forme.Youseemybabyshedoneupandwal ked
out.Ineedyoubringherbacktome.IknowIwas
wrong.Iwasguilt
yofsi n.Pr
obabl
ynotforal
lher
tears.DearGod.
..
",Isi
ngoutwithmyeyesclosed.
Dadst i
lll
ovest hissongandIst i
llwoul dli
kethe
storybehindit.Hearingmyownvoi ceaf t
ersol ong
gavemeshi versandIcoul dn'
thelpbutf eelli
keI
am impor t
ant.Itsbeensol ongsinceIsangandi t
feelsli
keI'm di
scover i
ngitfort
hef i
rsttimeallover
again.Iplayanot hersong.Ismil
er emember i
ng
howMom usedt osi ngthi
ssongaf tersheandDad
fought.Shehadt hemostbeaut i
fulvoice.Itook
afterher.
"
Thisisstupid.I'
m notstupid.Don'ttalktomelike
I
'm st
upid.Isti
lll
oveyoubutIj ustcan'tdothi
s.I
maybedumbbutI 'm notstupid..
."
,Isingoutloud
f
orgett
ingthatI'm notal
onei nthehouse.
Singi
ngmakesmef eelgoodandIhaven' tfeltgood
i
nal ongti
menotaf terwhatIsaw.Isingl ouderasI
tr
ynottothinkaboutthepast.Ifeelatearescape
myshuteyesandIdon' tbotherwipingit.Itsmy
ownlit
tl
esecret.Eventhoughithurtsknowi ngit
somet
imes.
48
UNYEZI
Isatdownwat chi
ngt hevideoItookofNkosinat
hi.
SinceIhavebeenwi t
hLangaIneverknewhecoul d
playthepianoneitherdidIknowhehadsucha
power f
ulvoice.Heneverment ioneditandsodid
anyone.Ithoughthist al
entwassoccer .I
tsbeen
dayssinceIhavehear dhim si
ngingandIstil
lam
amazed.Langawal kedinasIwassmi li
ngonmy
phone.
"Nkosinat
hiisgoi ngt
otakemywi f
e.Ever
yday
you'r
ewat chingthatvi
deo.
",hesai
dchuckli
ng
kissi
ngmyf orehead.
"
I'
mjustsur
pri
sed.
",Isai
dput
ti
ngmyphonedown.
"Whynotaskhi mtosingforyou?Hisdownstai
rs.
Hiskindofpissedt
hou.Amandai snotansweri
ng
hiscall
s."
,hesayssucki
ngonmyneck.
"
Mmmmmh.
",Imoanout
.
Hel
aysusdownandget
sinbet
weenmyt
highs
rubbi
nghi
shardononme.Heni
bblesmyneckand
sneakshi
shandi
nbetweenmyt
highs.
"
You'
resowet
."
,hegr
oansdi
ppi
nghi
sfi
ngeri
nsi
de
me.
Hest
il
lhasthi
seff
ectonme.Hecanst
il
lgi
veme
anor
gasm j
ustbysmil
ing.

BHEKI
KHAYA
Ihandherthepeanutbut
terandpolonysandwi
ch.
Shetakesabit
eandmoans.It hankyouGodIam
noteati
ngthat
.
"Whyareyoulooki
ngatmel
iket
hat
?",
sheaskswi
th
annoyance.
"
Uh.
..Sor
ry?
",Isaysmi
li
ngawkwar
dly.
Sheput
sherf
eetont
opofmyt
highsandhandsher
sandwi
cht
ome.
"
Nobaby.Eat
.I'
m okay.
",Imovemyf
aceaway.
"
Comeon.I
tsnott
hatbad.
",shepr
esses.
Isi
ghandt
akeabi
teandchew.Ismi
leandshe
nodseager
ly.
"OkayIadmi
t.I
tsnotasbadasIt
hought
."
,Isay
smili
ng.
Shest ret
chesherhandt owar dsmeandwi pesthe
cornerofmymout hwithhert humb.Ihol dherhand
andsuckhert humbmai ntainingeyecontact
.She
sucksi nabr eatheandIl etherthumbpopoutofmy
mout h.IsmileatherasInot icehertakeshall
ow
breathsandt ryingtocont r
olheranimal
attr
action(l
ust).Irunmyhandonhert highand
squeezei talit
tlebit
.
"
Mmmmh.
",shemoanssof
tl
y.
Ifeelmymanhoodgetf i
rmerandIremovemyhand
fr
om herthighs.Sher
unshertoesovermydi
ckand
Iholdherfoot.
"
HayimahnKuhl
e."
,Ihol
dherf
ooti
npl
ace.
"
ButI
'
m hor
ny.
",shewhi
nes.
"Yousai
dweshouldhol
dbackont
hesexunt
ilwe
askthedoct
ori
fit
sfi
ne.
",Ir
emi
ndher
.
It
oldhert
hebabywi
llbef
ineasl
ongasI
'
m gent
le
butshedoesn'twanttot
akechances.Ievenmade
Unyezit
ellherbutshest
andsonherpoint.
"
You'
llbegent
ler
ight
?",
sheaskssi
tt
ingont
opof
me.
BeforeIcansayanythingsheki
ssesme.Il
ikehow
shetakeschargelat
elybutmydominantsi
desti
ll
overpowershers.
"
Fuck!
",Igr
untasshesqueezesmybal
ls.
Thiswomanisgoi
ngtodri
vemecr
azy.I
'
m havi
ng
herri
ghther
eonthi
scouch.

NOXOLO
Ilookatthem asNdabenkhul uteachesSanel e
aboutbluepr i
nts.Thismanknowsabi tof
everyt
hing.Histhet ypet
hatcant el
lyouwhatki nd
ofwoodachai rismadeofandwhodi scover
edit.I
takeapictureofthem andgobackt ocheckingon
thepots.Cookingf oraChefishardcauseheknows
i
ft hechickenain'
tmar i
natedri
ght.Ifeelhands
snakearoundme.
"
MaSi
langwe.
",
hesayski
ssi
ngmyshoul
der
.
Icl
oset
hepotandt
urnar
ound.
"
Hi.
",Igr
eethi
m.
"
Hi.
",hegr
eet
ssmi
li
ng.
Il
aymyheadonhi
schestandhel
ayshi
schi
non
myhead.
"
Imi
ssedy'
al
l.
",hesayski
ssi
ngmyhead.
"Wellwe'
l
lbeher
efort
heweekend.
",Isayki
ssi
ng
hischest
.
"Sanel
eisagr
eatki
d.I'
m gl
adheisminenow.
",he
sayscausi
ngmetolookatSanel
eacr
ossther
oom.
Ifeelmytearswel
lup.Whenhet ol
dmehe' dl
iketo
havearelat
ionshi
pwi t
hSaneleIwasshockedreal
ly.
Iam happyheiswill
ingtolovemychi
ldand
honestl
yhehadmyhear tr
ightt
her
e.
"We'
rehavi
ngdinneronSundayatmyDads.
Ever
yonewil
lbetherewit
hthei
rpart
ners.Canyou
comewithme?They'vebeenwait
ingtomeetyou.
",
hesaysaswepullapart
.
"Yourwholef
amilywillbether
e?Whati
fyourDad
doesn'
tli
keme? "
,Isayslappi
nghi
shandashe
opensthepot.
"I
'
m surehewill
.Bakehim Vanil
lacakewit
h
str
awberr
iesandhisyours.
",hesaysgropi
ngmy
butt
.
Iki
sshischeeksasheexi
tstheki
tchenashe
chewsonwinegums.Ilookathi
sbut tandit
sfir
ms
andster
n.HelooksatmeandIbit
emyl i
plaughing.
"
Stopl
ooki
ngatmybut
t!
",hesayschuckl
ing.
"
Mom!Euw!
",Sanel
esaysl
aughi
ng.
Ishrugmyshoul
der
sandj
oint
hem af
tert
urni
ngof
f
thestove.

KHULEKANI
Tshego'svideoistr
endi
ngandshe'sgett
ingsome
positi
vereacti
ons.Shehasbeenmeditat
ingalot
thesedayscauseshesaysandIquot e"myspiri
tis
atwarandmypeacei snotasitwas.
",herfat
hers
arrestt
ookat ol
lonher.Ipr
omisedtojoi
nherfor
l
uncht odayandshei scooking.Ilookatt
he
neckl
aceIboughtherf orthedinnerwithmyfami
ly.
It
sar osegoldScarletneckl
ace.Itwil
lgowel
lwit
h
herskin.Atextdi
sturbsmyt houghts.
"I
'
m cravi
ngt hattaxir
ankdumpl
ingandbeef
stew.
",
hertextsreads.
Ismi
leandst
andupt
aki
ngmycarkeys.
West il
ldoenjoytaxir
ankf ood.Wespendmost
dayseat i
ngitatthepark.Webondoverthe
smallestthi
ngs.Iguesswe' r
enoteat
ingherf
ood
today.

NKOSI
NATHI
It
ryheragai
nandshef
inal
lyanswer
sherphone.
"
Amanda.
",myvoi
cecr
acksandIr
ubmyeyes.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi?
",shesaysal
ert
ed.
"
Can-Ineedyou.
",Isay.
"
Areyouokay?
",sheaskswor
ri
edl
y.
"
Pleasemeetmeatmyapar
tment
."
,Isaysaf
ter
cl
ear
ingmyt
hroat
.
"
No.
",shesaysst
ernl
y.
"
Please.
",Ibegher
.
"Youcan'tcal
lmeforsexever
yti
mesomet
hingi
s
bother
ingyou.No.
"
"Ijustneedyout
oholdme.Nosex.Ipr
omi
se.
",It
ry
cleari
ngt hel
umpinmythr
oat
.
"
I'
llcomei
fonl
yyou'
l
lopenupt
ome.
",sher
easons.
"
Amanda.
"
"
Okay.Byet
hen.
"
"
Amandai
ma.
",Isayhur
ri
edl
y.
"
Yes.
"
"
Okay.Ngizokusi
kel
audaba.Ng'
cel
auzwakal
e."
(I
'l
l
t
ellyou.Pl
easecome.)
Shefinal
lyagreesandIr
ubmyf ace.It
hrowmy
phoneont hebedandgoint
othebat hr
oom.AsI
'
m
abouttostri
pnakedLangaent
ers.
"
Bhut
i.
",hesays.
"
Shopoi
."(
Sur
eboy)
"
Canyoupl
aywi
thmeandPl
uto?
",heasks.
"
Eishsani
.Lat
er?
"
"Youneverpl
aywithmeanymor
e.Youhar
dlyeven
tal
ktomenow.Youdon'tl
ovemeanymore.
",he
sayswipi
nghiseyes.
"Heyhey.Don'tcry.Hardepoi
.Ipromisetomake
ti
mef oryou.IknowI '
vebeenisol
atedbutI'
m
deal
ingwi t
hsomet hing.
"
"I
'
m sorr
y.Assoonasyou'
reokayt
ellme.Hug?
",he
saysopeni
nghisar
ms.
Thiskidisjustcuteandcari
ng.Igetonmyknees
andhughi m.Imi ssedourbrot
herlymoments.I
'
m
alwaysburiedinsomethingthesedays.I
fit
snotmy
thoughtsit
sinsideAmanda.Wesepar ateandfi
st
bumpbef oreher unsoutofmyr oom.
"
Stopr
unni
ng!
",Ishoutaf
terhi
m.
Ichuckl
easIentert
hebat
hroom.Ideci
det
otakea
col
donei nst
ead.
49
KUHLEKONKE
Ilookathi m aswesi tatoneofhi sBrot
hers
restaurants.Theinteriordesignismoder nbutyet
tradit
ional.Bheki
khayai sr
eadi nghismenuwi t
hhis
bottom lipinbetweenhi st
eethandhi sdimplesare
ondi splay.Hiseyebr owsar efurrowedashe
concent ratesonwhatt oorder.We'resi
tti
ngona
secludedt ableandt hereisabi tofsunl
ightcoming
from thewi ndowt hathitshisskincausinghis
mel anintobaski nit.Thismani sbeaut
iful
ly
handsome.
"
CanItakeyourordernow?"
,thewai
tr
essasks
l
ooki
ngatBhekikhayawithl
ust.
Ilookatherasshelicksherli
psandbit
esherl
ower
l
ip.Suchdisrespect
?Bhekikhayal
ooksupfr
om hi
s
menuandl ooksatme.
"
Babe.Haveyoudeci
ded?
",heaskst
aki
ngmyhand
i
nhis.
"Ri
ceandchi
ckencurr
ywithachakal
akasal
ad.
Lemonwater
."
,Isayhandi
nghermymenu.
Shet
akesi
troughl
yandBheki
khayanot
icest
hat
.
Hi
sjawt
icksandsi
zedherupanddown.
"
Youhaveaproblem youwannair
onoutwit
hmy
wif
e?"
,heasksbalanci
nghi
schinonhi
sfist
s.
"
Nosi
r.
",
shesayst
hrowi
ngmeal
ook.
She'
sreal
lypi
ssi
ngmeof
fcauseIwantt
ocr
ynow.
"Vaya.Callanot
herwai
terf
orus.
",hesays
dismissi
ngher .
"Wai
t.No.You'
llat
tendtousaslongaswe' l
lbeher
e.
Babyorder
."
,Isaylooki
ngatBhekikhaya.
Helooksatmeskept
icalbef
orenoddi
ngand
or
dering.
"
I'
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
."
,heapol
ogi
sesaf
tershel
eft
.
"
Forwhat
?Beinghot
?She'
sjustbi
tt
ercauseyou'
re
wit
hme."
,Iwi
nkathi
m.
Hesmi
leski
ssi
ngmyhand.
"
Iloveyou.
",hewhi
sper
s.
Ilookinhi
seyesandthest ar
sarest
il
lpresent.Ti
ll
thisdayIst
il
ldon'
tunderst
andwhatcausest hat.
EvenGoogledoesn'
thelp.Thelovei
nhiseyes
mademeemot
ional
.Il
ovet
hewayhel
ooksatme.
"
Iloveyout
oo.
",Isaywi
pingat
ear
.
Hechuckl
esashewipesmyeyes.I
'
llbl
amet
haton
t
hebaby.Idon'
tcr
ythi
smuch.

THANDO
Iam lookingf ormyr i
ngingphoneandIcan' tfindit
.
Ifi
nallyfi
ndi tunderthesof aandthescreenis
cracked.Howdi ditgethere?Iunlockitanditsti
ll
functi
onswel l
.Ihavemi ssedcall
sf r
om my
brothers,
UnyeziandDad.Ihavebeeni nthestudy.I
callDadfirstandheanswer swhenI '
m aboutto
drop.
"
HeyNana.
..St
opi
tNandi
!"
,hesaysl
aughi
ng.
Seemsasi
fI'
m di
stur
bingsomet
hing.
"
I'
llcal
lyoul
aterDad.
",Isaysmi
li
ng.
"
Oka-hahahaNandi
!OkayNana.
",hesaysdr
oppi
ng.
Heseemshappyandthatsal
lIcoul
deveraskf
or.I
smi
leandcal
lKhul
ekani.
"
Ntwanayami
!"
,hescr
eamscausi
ngmet
owi
nce.
"
Ntwana.Yougood?
",Iasksmi
li
ng.
"
Alwaysandyou?I
'vebeencall
ingandyourphone
r
ingsunanswer
ed.
",
Khulekani
"Sor
ry.I'
vebeenbusy.I'
vebeencont
act
ingsome
bestpsychologi
stsacr
osstheworl
dtoworkatmy
hospit
al.
",Isi
tdown.
"
Howi
sthatgoi
ng?
"
"Okay.Afewhaver espondedandI'm wait
ingon
othersandaft
erthatI'
lll
etDadinandhecansi gn
thefi
nalpaperworkforthemachineryneeded.
"
"
I'
m pr
oudofyou.
",hesayspr
oudl
y.
Ismil
eathiswords.I
'
m proudofmysel
f.If
inal
ly
foundsomethi
ngtonurt
ureandhel
pbuild.
"
Thankyou.
"
WesayourgoodbyesandIpr omisetocomet o
Dadsdinnernextweek.Hi
spr obablygoingto
i
ntroducehi
swoman.Ical ltheothersandtheyal
l
seenalri
ght
.IpromiseUnyezitovisi
tsoonplusI
missmynephews.Igetdr essedandheadoutf or
themal l.Ihavebeenbur iedinwor kt hatmyhai r
needsgr oomi ng.Idrinkmypi llsbeforegetti
ngout
oft hecar .WhenIopent hedoorIdontnot icethe
cardr ivingi nhitt
ingitsmi r
rorof f
.Iquicklyclosemy
doorandl ookatt hecar .ItsaBMW i 8r edandblack
i
ncol or.Igetoutassoonast hedr i
vergetsof f
.He
l
ooksathi scarandhi sjawi sticki
ng.Hi slar
ge
framet urnst owardsmeandt ower soverme.Il ook
upathi m andswal l
owmysal ivawhenInot i
cethis
eligibl
edar kbeaut y.
"Uh.
..Uhm..
.I-
I.
..
",Icl
earmyt
hroataswor
dscan'
t
seem tof
orm.
"
Miss.Yourcari
snotparkedr
ight
.St
ayi
nbet
ween
t
heli
nes."
,hesayscal
mly.
Thel
ookonhi
sfacepr
oveshi
sfarf
rom cal
m.
"
I'
m sor
ry.Howmuchisthatgoi
ngt
ocost
?",
Iask
t
akingmychequebook.
"No.I
twon'
tcostmuch.Par
kyourcarri
ghtbefore
youdamagesomeoneelse'
scar
."
,hesayswalking
off
.
Il
ookathi
m ashewal
ksaway.Hi
sinbl
ackj
eans
thatholdhisf
irm buttandhi sverymuscul arthi
ghs
downt ohisbracketedlegsandIl ikehiscalves.Hi
s
physiqueseemsl i
kear egularvisi
toratthegym
kindofguyorasoccerpl ayers.Iwalkinsidethe
mallkeepinganeyeonhi m.Hi sbicepsflexi
ngasit
seemsashet al
ksont hephonewi thsomeone.I
bumpi ntosomeone.
"
Sor
ry.
",Iapol
ogi
ze.
Il
ookupandIhavelosthi
mi nt
hecrowd.If
eelkind
ofsadbutIbr
ushi
toffwalki
ngtowardst
hesalon.

NDABENKHULU
SaneleandLangaaremaki
ngnoiseast
heytal
k
abouthouses.Theset
wogetal
ongli
keahouseon
fi
re.
"Thi
sonei sni
cebutIdon'
tli
ket
hear
chi
tect
."
,
Sanelesays.
Ihavetokeepremindi
ngmysel
fthatt
hesear
eki
ds.
Iguesstheydolear
nsomethi
ngonTV.
"
Iagr
eewi
thyou.I
fIwast
hebui
lder
.I'
dusef
ir
st
br
ickonthi
shousetogowel
lwi
tht
hevi
ntage
ar
chit
ect
.",
Langasays.
Il
aughandshakemyheadwal ki
ngout.Itwould
l
ookbetterwit
hgr easepai
ntedbrownwoodand
gl
assbutitsnotmyconver sat
ionandIthinkthat
housei
sbui l
tjustfi
ne.Imissmyf i
ancée.If
indher
i
nmyst udyonherl aptop.
"
Hey.
",Igr
eetki
ssi
ngher
.
"
Hey.
",shegr
eet
swi
pingt
hel
ipgl
ossof
fmyl
ips.
Ipul
lachai
randsi
tnextt
oher
.
"Whatar
eyouwor
kingon?
",Iaskpeepi
ngather
scr
een.
"
Thedecorat
ions.Howaboutgol
dandwhi te?I
want
edblackbutit'
l
llookl
ikeaf
uner
al.
",shesays
l
ooki
ngatherscreen.
"
Goldandwhit
eisokay.Ar
eyoubaki
ngour
weddi
ngcake?"
,Iaskcl
osi
ngthel
apt
op.
"Yeah.IknowwhatIwantplusi
t'
dbeawast eof
moneypayi ngsomeoneel
setodoit
."
,hervoice
eversosmoot h.
"Youhavebeenworr
iedaboutthebudget
.Wedont
haveabudgetNoxol
o.Andhireaweddingpl
anner
."
Ipi
ckherupandputheront
opoft
hedeskput
ti
ng
herl
apt
oponthechair
.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Igeti
nbet weenherthi
ghsandrunmyhandson
them causi
ngmyT- shi
rtt
oinchup.
"
Mmmmh?
"
"Mom i
spayingformydress.I'm baki
ngthecake.
Momshusbandi spayi
ngf orthewedding.You'r
e
payi
ngforthesui
tsandwhat everelsewe'l
lneed.I
canpayfortheweddi
ngplanner .
",shesaysgivi
ng
memor eaccesstoherneck.
Ist
opsucki
ngonherneckandl
ookather
.
"
What
?I'
m payi
ngf
ort
heweddi
ng.
",It
ellher
.
"Hej
ustwantst
ohel
pplusit
snotmuch.Justhal
f
ofwhatneedst
obepai
d."
,shet
ri
esreasoni
ng.
"
No.
"
Ipr
esst
hebut
tonundermydeskandt
hedoorl
ocks.
Ipushever
ythi
ngdownof
fthet
abl
eandshe
gi
ggles.

UNYEZI
IpeepintoNkosinathisr oom andhi
spl ayi
ngFI FA.I
si
tnexttohim andhepausest hegameandhands
meaj oysti
ck.Wer estartthegame.Langalamii sat
Ndabenkhulushousevi si t
ingSanel
e.Idon'tknow
muchbutal lIknowi sthathei shi
sf i
ancé'
sson.
Langawentt ocheckonhi smi nesi
tes.Nkosinathi
i
swhi ppi
ngmyassont hisgame.Imanaget oscor e
onegoalandIst i
llcan'tsavemyselfcausehewon.
"
Mxm.
",Igi
vehi
m hi
sjoyst
ick.
Hechuckl
esandput
sthem down.
"
Hey.
"
"
Heymom.
"
"
Areyouokay?
"
Hisl
ostsomewei
ghtandIknowit
stheweed.I
knowaweedsmokerwhenIseeone.
"
I'
m okay.
"
"
You'
rel
ying.
",Isayl
ooki
ngathi
m.
Hesi
ghsandr
ubshi
sface.
"
Honest
ly.It
hinkNkanyezii
scr
ying.
"
"You'r
etr
yingt
ogetri
dofme.Yourbr
otheri
s
sleepi
ngandIhavehi
sbabymonit
or.
"
"
I'
m ser
iousl
yokay.
",hel
iesagai
n.
"
Whenar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
opsmoki
ngweed?
",Iask.
Hechokesonhissal
ivawit
hhiseyesout.Ir
ubhis
backandhandhimthebott
leofwateri
nfrontof
hi
m.Hedr i
nksupandfinal
lycal
msdown.
"
Talk.You'
renotoldenought
onotgetandass
whooping.
",Isaycal
mly.
"
Uhmama.Ei
sh.
",hescr
atcheshi
shead.
"You'r
enotokay.Icanseet hebagsunderyoureyes.
You'realwayshigh.You'
realwaysatyour
apartmentwiththatpoorgi
rl.St
opstri
ngi
ngher
along.I'
vedecidedtogetyouat her
api
st.
"
Hel
ooksatmel
ikeI
'
vel
ostmymi
nd.
"I
'
m notatt
endi
ngthat
.Itssoccerseason.I
'
llbever
y
busy.
",het
ri
esdismi
ssingme.
"Iwasn'taski
ng.Iknowyouwon'
ttel
lmebutt al
king
toastrangerwil
lhelp.I
thel
pedme.Pleaset
hinkit
thr
ough.Theyst ar
tnextweekWednesdayaf
ter
school.
"
Hesi
ghsandr
ubshi
sface.
"
Thankyoumom.
"
"
Iloveyoumfanawami.Whateveri
tisItrustyou'
l
l
t
elluswhenyou'
rer
eady.
",Iki
sshisforehead.
"
Iloveyout
oomama.
",het
hrowshi
shandsar
ound
me.
Ihol
dhi
mi nmyarmsandIhearhi
m si
gh.Idont
knowwhatiti
sbuti
thast
obebig.Webreakofft
he
hug.
"
Hopeyou'
l
lsi
ngf
ormesoon.
",Isaysmi
li
ng.
"
How-
?",
heseemsshocked.
"
Ihear
dyou.
",Isaycl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
ndme.
Ismi
leandwi
pet
hel
onet
eart
hatmanagest
o
escape.Nkanyezi
scryri
psthrought heBaby
Moni t
orandIwalktowardshi
sr oom.ItextLanga
thatImisshim.Il
oveitwhenImi sshim cause
whenIseehi mitfeel
sli
keI'
mf all
inginl
ovewi t
h
him al
loveragai
n.
50
TSHEGO
Iwakeupwi thKhulekanist
il
linsidemeandhi s
erectagai
n.Myvagi naisswollenfrom l
astni
ght.I
tr
yt aki
nghim outbutheholdsmei npl
ace.Iguess
hisawakenow.
"Tshego.
",hest
il
lhast
hatZul
uaccentwhenhe
pronouncesmyname.
"
Mmmh?
"
"
Tshego.
",hesaysmor
est
ernl
y.
Hiseyesarest
il
lcl
osedandhiseyebr
owsare
fur
rowedinanannoyedway.Guesshisst
il
lpi
ssed
atme.
"
Khul
ekani
."
"
Ihopewhathappenedyest
erdaywon'
thappen
again.I
fyoueverr
aiseyourvoiceatmeyou'l
l
spendanentir
eweekunabletowal k.Youshout
ed
atmei nfr
ontofmywor ker
s."
,hisvoicei
slowbut
veryint
imi
dati
ng.
Hisnotonet ogetangr yandIthoughthewasgoi ng
toslapmeyest erdaywi t
hthewayhewassopi ssed.
Isawf il
esaboutmeandIwasangr yhewas
diggingint
omei nsteadofaskingme.Ir especthis
privacyandtheleasthecoul dhavedonewas
respectmine.Iwaswr ongf orgoi
ngathi minfront
ofhi sst
affatt
heof fi
cebutIwasj ustsoangry.
"
Yousl
appedmeTshegof
atso.
",hechuckl
esdar
kly.
Ohtherewast hatt
oo.Imayhavesl
appedhim and
cussedathim.Mostlyi
nTswanaandI'm gl
adhe
couldn'
tunderst
andhalft
heshi
tIsai
dcauseI'
dbe
deadr i
ghtnow.
"
I'
m sor
ry.Iwassoangr
-"
"SowasIwhenyoucamel ikethatatmyof f
ive?My
workplace.ButdidIr
aisemyvoi ceorsl
apyou? "
,
hecutsmeof ftaki
nghim sel
foutandIwi nce.
"
Youdi
dn'
t.I
'
m sor
ry.
",Iapol
ogi
sesi
tt
ingup.
"Soam Ibuti
tsprot
ocolinourf
amil
ytolookint
o
someone'sbackgr
ound."
,hesayswear
inghispant
s.
"
Coul
dn'
tyout
rustme?
",Iask.
"IdobutDaddoesn'
t.I
t'
swhati
tis.I
'
m sorryforthat
butIdontwantt
odisci
pli
neyouagain.
",hebutt
ons
hisshi
rt
.
Isitther
ewatchinghim getdressed.Iguesshi
ssti
ll
pissedcausehisnotevent aki
ngashowerbef or
e
goingbacktohisplace.
"
Iloveyou.
",heki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Hegoest ot hebat hroom andcomesbackl aterand
bidsgoodbye.Isi ghasIgetoutofbed.Theache
betweenmyl egscausi ngmet oli
mp.Her eall
ydi da
numberonme.Hi sal waysbeengent l
ebut
yester
dayhewassor oughandsodeep.Hewent
thewholeni ghttillIcouldn'ttakeitanymor e.I
couldn'
tfeelmyl egsf rom alltheorgasmst hatI
endedupcr yi ngwi thpleasure.Igetinsidethe
showerandl etthewat ercascadedownmyachi ng
body.I'
m sleepingi ntoday.I'l
laskfornotesf rom
Mi r
anda.
UNYEZI
"Langa!
",Iscr
eam outi
npl
easur
eashest
rokes
deeper.
Idigmynai l
sintohi sshouldersashepenet rat
es
me.Ihavemyl egsar oundhi m ashepinsmeont he
showerwal l
.Hehi tsitsli
ghtlyfrom t
helef
tandI
archmybackf eelinghi schestonmyboobs.If eela
knotinmyabdomenandIcl enchmywal l
saround
hispenisandhegr oanswi t
hhisheadonmy
shoulder.Webot hcum aswepantundert he
showerwat er
.Ireleasemyl egsaroundhim andhe
ki
ssesmyshoul der.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
",Isayt
raci
ngmynameonhi
schest
.
West
ayl
iket
hatf
orawhi
leembr
aci
ngeachot
her
.
"
Haveyoutal
kedtoNkosi
nat
hi?
",heasksashe
washesmyback.
"Yes.Heagr
eedt
otherapy.
",Ismi
leki
ssi
ngt
he
handonmyshoulder
.
"
Youshoul
dhavel
etmet
alkt
ohi
m."
"
No.Heneedssomepr
ofessi
onalhel
p.He'
l
lbe
f
ine.
"
It
urnar
oundandhesmil
es.Themoonandocean.I
smil
etr
aci
ngmyeyesoverhi
seyebr
ows.Beaut
if
ul.
"LetmegobathNkanyezi
.Hi
sir
ri
tat
edt
oday.
",Isay
getti
ngoutoft
heshower.
"
Thatonei
salwaysangr
y."
,hechuckl
esspanki
ng
mywetbut
t.
Iblowhi
m akissandl eavehimt oshower.Iam wet
fr
om Nkanyezisplashi
ngwat eraround.Hekeeps
oncryi
ngandbi t
ingmyf inger.Langawalksinwhen
Ij
ustfi
nisheddressinghim up.
"
Hisst
il
lcr
ying?
",heaskst
aki
nghi
mfr
om me.
"
Yeah.Hewon'teat.Hespithi
spor
ri
dgeallover
me.
",IsayasIpointthest
ainsonmydress.
Hehumsandput sNkanyezi
sfi
ngeri
nsi
dehis
mouthrubbinghi
sgumsandhestopscryi
ngand
l
atchesontoLangasf
inger
.
"
Ah.Hi
steet
hing.
",Langasayssmi
li
ng.
"
Didn'
twebuysomet
hingf
ort
hat
?"
Henodsashesi t
sdown.Istartl
ooki
ngthroughthe
boxesofNkanyezi
sstuf
f.Foundthem.It
akeone
andri
nseitbef
orehandingi
ttoLanga.Heputsitin
hi
smout hmakinggurgl
ingsounds.
"
He'
sgr
owi
ng.
",Ismi
lewi
tht
ear
sinmyeyes.
"
Babe.Don'
tcr
y."
,hesayst
aki
ngmyhand.
Lamiwal
ksi
nal
lhappyasusual
.
"Mommy.Daddy.Li
lbr
o."
,heget
ski
ssi
ngour
cheeks.
"
Heysol
dier
."
,Igr
eet
.
Langahandshim Nkanyeziwhenhesit
sdownand
hel
pshim holdhi
m safel
y.Lamistar
tst
alki
ngwi
th
NkanyeziandNkanyezii
slaughi
ng.
"
Morni
ng.Mom.Haveyouseenmyt
ie?
",Nkosi
nat
hi
wal
ksi
n.
"
Oh.It
hinkIfol
dedi
twi
thNkanyezi
scl
othes.Check
t
hatdr
awer."
Hegoest
her
eaf
terki
ssi
nghi
sli
tt
lebr
other
scheeks.
"
Foundi
t.
",hesayswal
kingout
.
"
Okaymybaby.
"
IstandupandLangat akesNkafrom Lami.Weal
l
headt otheki
tchen.Idishoutf
oreveryoneandwait
forthem togo.Iheaddownt othegym aft
er
changing.

AMANDA
Iarri
veatschoolbefor
eNkosinat hi.Isti
llcan't
beli
evewhathet ol
dme.Hecr iedf orhour saf t
er
tel
li
ngmeever yt
hing.I
'veneverseenhi m sobr oken.
Iwonderhowhewasabl etokeept hisasecr etfor
solong.Iheldhi
m ashebr okedowni nmyar ms.I
seehim getoutofhisri
deandwal kingtowar dsme.
Weshar eahugandIhandhi m af atcake.His
fri
endscallhi
mf oramor ni
ngjointbuthedecl ines.
"Whyareyoulooki
ngatmeli
ket
hat
?",
heasks
swal
lowingaf
terchewi
ng.
"
Younevert
urndownaj
oint
."
,Isay.
Wewal
kinsi
det
heschool
.
"Ther
apyhasbeengood.Inst
eadofsmoki
ngDr
SambosuggestedIi
nvestall
thatt
imei
nsoccer
."
,
hesays.
Ismileathi
m andheput shisar
m overme.Hi
s
neverbeenthi
s'af
fect
ionate'
.
"
Goodcauseyouwer
elosi
ngt
hatsi
xpack.
",Isay
l
aughi
ng.
"
Thi
ssi
xpackai
n'tgoi
ngnowher
e."
,hechuckl
es.
Hedropsmeoffatmyclassandki
ssesmy
f
oreheadbef
orewal
kingoffwi
thhi
sonebr
acket
.
"
Disabl
edhot
ness.
",Isayl
aughi
ng.
Heturnsar
oundandgivesmet
hemi
ddl
efi
ngerand
Ismil
egett
ingi
ntocl
ass.

THANDO
Iam soti
redandtheseheel sareki
lli
ngme.Iwas
upallni
ghtprepari
ngf ort
hatmeetingandwhenI
foundoutitwastheguyIbumpedhi swindowafew
weeksbackIalmostf aint
ed.Helookedsohotina
suit
.AssoonasIent ermyof fi
ceItakeoffmy
shoes.IsighasIthrowmysel
fonmyof
fi
cecouch.
Myof f
ice.Thatsoundssogood.
"
Myver
yownof
fi
ce.
",Isaysi
ghi
ngwhi
lesmi
li
ng.
"
Bestbel
ievei
tyour
s.Cut
etoes.
",
avoi
cedi
stur
bs
mypeace.
Isi
tupst rai
ghtandI'm metwi
thdarkeyes.Mr
But
helezi.HisthatguyIbumpedhiscarthatwasso
hot
.Hei sdonat i
ngmill
ionsi
ntomyhospitalandI
al
mostf aint
ed.Dadcheckedhim andhisclean.
"
Thankyou.
",It
rysoundi
ngokay.
IcrossmylegsashisCol
ognef i
ll
smyoffi
ce.He
takesaseatnextt
omeandcl earshi
sthr
oat.I
clenchmythighsi
nhopesfortheit
chinbet
ween
myt hi
ghstogoaway.
"
You'
reaclumsyladyMsKhuzwayo.
",hel
ooki
ng
meintheeyes.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandcl
enchmyt
highst
ight
er.
"Ihavetoagree.Sor
ryaboutyourcaragai
n."
,Isay
embarrassed.
Hechuckl
esr
eveal
ingext
rat
eet
handIsucki
na
breat
h.Ihaveaweaknessf
orpeopl
ewi
thext
ra
teet
h.
"
It
sokayMsKhuzwayo.
",hesmi
les.
"
JustThandol
wet
hu.
"
"
Thandol
wet
hu.Beaut
if
ulname.Cal
lmeOzo.
"
"
Ozo?
"
"
Mymom i
sNiger
ian.Shenamedmet
hat
.Sbusi
so
i
smyf
ir
stnamethou."
"
Ili
keOzobet
ter
."
,Isaysmi
li
ng.
"
Canyousaymynameagai
n."
"
Ozo?
",Iasksmi
li
ng.
"
Per
fect
.Thando.Youst
il
loweme.
"
"
Oh?
"
"Yes.Howaboutgoi
ngoutt
odi
nnerwit
hme?Ijust
movedhere.YoucanshowmearoundDur
ban.
",he
sayssmil
ing.
Am Ibei
ngtemptedher
e?HowdoIhavedi
nnerwi
th
t
his'Al
phaMale'
who'svoi
ceal
onemakesmefeel
l
ikestr
ippi
ngandl
ayBar
rforhi
m.ManI
'
m sodi
rt
y.
Ishakemyhead.
"
No?
",heasks.
"No.No.Imeanyes.
..YesI
'
dgot
odi
nnerwi
thyou.
",
Isaysmili
ng.
"
Wel
lIwasn'
taski
ng.
",hesaysst
andi
ngup.
Hethrowsmeasmi lebef
oresayi
nghisgoodbye.
AssoonashisoutthedoorI'
m onthephonewith
Unyezi.At
extdi
stur
bsme.
"Tomorr
ownight.8pm.I
'
llf
etchyou.NB:
Iwon'
t
needyouraddr
ess."
Ireaditandl
augh.Icoulddr
ivet
oyourplaceas
wellasIhaveyouraddresst
oo.Ifor
getaboutt
hat
golddiggi
ngjer
kforafewmi nut
es.
51
UNYEZI
It
akeaseatwi thNkanyezii
nmyar msandgivehim
hi
spacif
ier.Thandostret
chesherhandsandIgive
hi
mt oher.We'rehavi
ngameetupwi t
htheother
gi
rl
s.Wemeteachot heratt
hedinnerandeven
thoughwet houghtwe' dseeSeni orKhuzwayosnew
girl
,wewer ever ydisappoi ntedwhenhecameal one.
Hesai dhejustwant edt omeett henewaddi ti
onsto
thefami l
yandsai dweshoul dnotwor ryabouthis
business.Thel ady'
sar ever ybeauti
fulandthey'
re
verykindexceptf orthet i
ckingti
mebomb,
KuhlekonkewhoIl aterl earnedispregnant.Shewill
alsobever ypissedt hatwe' remeet i
ngwi t
houther
butitsforagoodpur pose.
"
Readyt
oleave?
",Noxol
oasks.
She'saver yelegantwomanwhocar ri
esher sel
f
withconfident.Shehasar esti
ngbi t
chf aceandyou
cantellshedoesn' ttakenonsense, wellIdoubtany
ofusdo.Weal lstandupandt akeourbags.Wepay
thebil
landl eavefort hemall.We'r eplanninga
surpri
sebabyshowerf orKuhle.Noxol ohadhi red
oneoft hemostr ecommendedEventPl annersandI
wassur prisedit
'sSam Swanepoel .Youcoul dn't
haveguessedbet ter.Theonewhosl eptwithmy
husband.Ihaven' ttoldthem thatIknowher, j
ust
meandThandoknowandi tsshal lremai nli
ket hat
.
Weent erhershopandshehasst uf flayedoutf or
us.
"Ladi
es.Ni
cef
oryout
owor
kwi
thme.
",shesays
smili
ng.
Shest ar
tsgivingushandshakesandwhenshe
reachesmesher et
ali
ates.Itakeherhand
squeezingitintheprocessandshewi nces.Thando
j
ustwal kspastherandst rai
ghttothetabl
eignori
ng
hergesture.
"Uh..
.Ergm.Ichoseoutsomeneutralcolourssi
nce
y'al
ldon'tknowthegender
."
,shesaysgivingusher
practi
sedsmi l
e.
Westil
lhaveaf ewmont hstil
lwef i
nall
ysur
pri
se
herwe'
dpr obablyknowbyt henthegenderbutI
keepquiet
.Thisbetterbequick.Ihavesomepaper
s
tosubmit.

LANGALAKHE
Myguysupdatemeofmywi fe'
slocat
ionasalways
butIchokeonmydrinkwhenIseeshe'satSam'
s
Shop.Whatisshedoingt
her
e?Iknowmywi f
eandI
hopeshedoesn'tdoanyt
hingst
upi
d.At extf
rom
herpopsupwithapictur
eofhersmil
ing.
"
I'
m wi
thyourgi
rl
fr
iend.Il
ookpr
ett
ydon'
tI?
"
Myeyesar easbigassaucer srightnow.Ihopeshe
won'tbeangryatmeal loveragain.Amemor yof
mei nhospit
alcomestomi ndandsweatbui ldup
onmyf orehead.I
tsli
keIcanf eelthatpainagain.I
takemykeysandl eavethemi ne.I'
llhaveto
postponethi
smeet i
ng.
"
MrKhuzwayo!
",myPAr
unsaf
terme.
"
YesSandi
le.
"
"
Sir
.Themeet
ing?
",heasksconf
used.
"Post
ponei
t.Apol
ogi
seonmybehal
f.Somet
hing
cameup."
Henodsandgoesbacki ntotheboardroom.Ineed
toapol
ogi
zetomywi f
eagain.Ineedtogetri
dof
Sam.Shecan'tbeaconstantremindertomywi f
e
abouthowIbetrayedher
.

KUHLEKONKE
Wehadjustcomeoutofthedoct
orsconsul
tat
ion
r
oom andhislooki
ngatt
hescansmili
ng.
"Ngizobayit
aima.Sofedengizobanengcosi
."
(I
'm
goingt obeafathersoli
keI'
m goingt
ohavea
kid.
),hesaysgri
nningli
ketheidi
otheis.
Igeti
ntot
hecarandt
akeoutmybr
a.Hel
ooksat
meconfused.
"
Ennou?
"(andnow?
),Bheki
"
It
shur
ti
ngmyboobs.
",Isayr
ubbi
ngt
hem.
"
Wantmet
omassaget
hem?
",heasksseduct
ivel
y.
"
They'
resensi
ti
vel
atel
y."
"
Ireadt
hat
snor
mal
."
,Bheki
khaya.
Hisbeenreadingal otofPregnancyMagazi
nesand
i
tsbeenhelpful.Hisverysupporti
ve.I
'
minmyf i
rst
t
ri
mest ersoI'
m notshowi ngthatmuchbutyoucan
t
ellt
hatsomet hingisgrowinginme.
"
CanyoupassbySt
eer
s?"
"
Why?
",heasksbr
owsf
urr
owed.
"
I'
m cr
avi
ngsomej
uicyst
eak.
"
"No.Ndabenkhul
ucookedenoughheal
thyf
oodf
or
you.It
hinkther
e'sst
eakt
oo."
,Bheki
.
Ilookathi m andhej ustcarr
iesondr i
ving.Hehad
hisbr ot
hercookf oodf orme.Ver yhealt
hyfood.No
oil
.Nospi ces.Most l
yboi l
ed.Ican'tcookformysel
f
anymor e.Heannoysmesomet i
mes.Whenhe
l
eavesI 'm orderi
ngthatsteak.Amandai sal
so
underst r
ictorderstonotcookany' DANGEROUS
UNHEALTHY' food.I'
m pregnantnotstri
ckenby
somedi sease.If eell
ikestr
anglinghimr i
ghtnow.
Hisphoner i
ngsandi tsourkidshear t
beatandhim
recit
ingapoem.I tsalsoannoyingme.
"
AnsweryourphoneBheki
khaya.I
tsi
rr
it
ati
ng.
"
"I
Phoneyabakant
ile?
"(Who'
sphonei
sthi
s?)
,he
asksl
ett
ingi
tri
ng.
Itakei
tandhel ooksatmeandIopenmywindow
throwi
ngitout.Helooksatmewif
eeyedandback
buthecan'tst
opt hecarsi
ncewe'
reont
hehighway.
"Kuhlekonkeudakiwe?Uyahl
anyawena.Orudakwe
yinganeleeseswini?
"(Ar
eyoudr unk?You'
recr
azy.
You'redrunkenbythispr
egnancy.)
Ij
ustlookoutthewindowangryandsad.Ihat e
bei
ngpr egnant
.Thisi
snotwhatIwant ed.Idon'
t
wantkids.Idon'
tevenhavecont
rolovermy
emoti
ons.
"Ukhal
elani
?Ha.
amahnKuhl
ezi
shani
?"(
Whyar
e
youcryi
ng?NomanKuhl
ewhat'
swrong?
)
Ii
gnorehi
m andl
ookatpassi
ngcar
s.Ij
ustf
eelso
sad.Hesi
ghsandleavesmeal
one.

THANDO
IhandNkanyezit oLangawhoj ustpoppedup
uninvit
ed.Hewasst andi
ngnextt ohi swi f
ewi t
hhis
handi nher sduringthewhol ething.Hekeptwi pi
ng
sweatof fhisf or
ehead.Hispoorgi rlf
riendcouldn't
evenlookatus.Unyezidi dntevengi vet woshits
butshel ookedl ikesheenjoyedhavi ngt hesetwo
underherpr essuresquir
m.Weal lsayourgoodbyes
andIdr ivetomyhouse.Iam t iredandagl assof
winewi lldo.Itakeabat hwhilesippingwi ne.Ineed
togetapetj usttoeasethequi etnessi nthishouse.
Itgetslonelyatt imesbutI'
mt heonl yonewi t
houta
l
ifei
nmyf amil
y.Myj obismyhusbandandi t
soundssadbuthey.Igetoutofthebat
handj ust
putonatowelonmynakedbody.Thei nter
com
goesoff
.I'
m notexpecti
nganyone.
"
Thandol
wet
huKhuzwayoResi
dence.
"
"
Thando.
"
Thatvoice.It
sOzo.Ilookatt hescreenandindeed
i
t'
shi m.Howt hefuckdoesheknowwher eIlive.I
sendmybr ot
hersacode.Il ethi
mi nandIhearhi s
cardrivei
n.I'
m notevendr essed.Irunupstai
r sand
pullonasomeshor t
sandspor t
sbra.Icheck
myselfinthemi r
roronelasttime.HeknocksandI
opent hedoor.Heleansont hedoorandsmi l
es.
"
Hey.
"
Thisdudeshouldstopsmil
ing.Idon'
ttr
ustmyself
tocontrolmysel
flonger
.Hehandsmeabr acel
et
wit
hr edbeads.
"
Uhm.
..Thankyou.
",Ismi
leawkwar
dly.
"
Ididn'
tknowwhatt
obuyyousinceyoudi
tchedme
l
astti
me.ItsaNi
ger
ianbr
acel
et.
",
hesayshel
ping
meweari
t.
I'
veseenitont
hoseNiger
ianmoviesUnyezi
watcheswornbyact
ors.I
tblendedwel
lwithmy
darkski
n.
"
It
sbeaut
if
ul.Ohsor
rycomei
n."
Ishif
tandgivehim spacetocomein.AnSUV
dri
vesinasI'm aboutt
oclosethedoor.Sbhamu
getsoffwi
thotherguysandwal ki
nside.
"
Handsupndoda.
",Sbhamucommands.
Ozolooksatmeandl
if
tshi
shandsup.Theysear
ch
hi
m andtheywal
kout
.Sbhamuwalkstowardsme.
"We'
llbeout
side.Scr
eam i
fyouneed
anyt
hing.
",
Sbhamu
Hethr
owsonemor elookatOzoandwal
ksout
.I
cl
osethedoorandr
ubmyar msawkwardl
y.
"
Tightsecur
it
y."
,Ozobr
eakst
hesi
lence.
"
Yeah.Howdi
dyouknowwher
eIl
ived?
"
"It
oldyoubefor
ethatIknowwher
eyoust
aybef
ore
youcancel
ledourdate.
"
Hesi
tsdownandt
akesof
fhi
sbl
azer
.
"
Oht
hat
..
.Jui
ce?Wat
er?Anyt
hing?
"
"
Not
hankyou.Pl
easel
endmeanear
."
Isi
topposi
tehi
m.
"IhaveanieceinNi
ger
ia.Shehasschi
zophr
eni
a
andisstr
ugglingwi
thi
t."
,Ozo
"
Yeah?
"
"Ihopeshecanhaveacomf
ort
abl
est
ayatyour
asylum.
"
"Shesur
ewill
.Youdoknowyoucansignherup
onli
neri
ght
?Ihaveafeel
ingyoudi
dn'
tcomehere
fort
hat.
"
Hei nchescloserandl ooksmeint heeye.Hehas
themostbeaut if
uleyes.Theywer edarkbrown
whenIf ir
stmethi m butnowundert hesunli
ght
emitti
ngt hr
ought heglassesthey'rehazelbr
own
withal i
ghtunnoticeablebluearoundhisiri
s.
"Ican'
tst
opt hi
nkingaboutyou.Yourclumsyself
.
Yourbeauti
fuldimplesandhumblepersonali
ty.
Yourawkwar dnessandsoftbuthoarsevoi
ce.Most
ofal
lyourt
highs.
"
Helooksatmyt
highsandIcl
earmythroatasIf
eel
adampnessdownther
e.Icl
enchthem andhe
smil
es.
"
Ili
ket
heef
fectIhaveonyou.Trustmeyouhave
t
hesameonmebutI '
m bet
terathidi
ngi
t.
"
Hei sspeakingreallyslowl yandhi scologneisallI
cansmel l.Manly.Hisaur ai ssodomi nant
.Ifeell
ike
getti
ngonmykneeswi thmypal msonmyt hi
ghs
andsubmi tt
ohim.If eel hisbreathenextt omyear
andmybr eathehitches.Hei snowl eaningoverme
withhishandont hearmr estscapturi
ngmei n.He
bit
est enderl
yonmyearl obeandIbi temyl i
p.
"
Ozo.
..Wecan'
t.
..
",
Ibr
eat
heout
.
"
Tel
lmet
ost
op.
"
"
Ozo.
..Thi
sisnot
-mmmh.
"
Heli
ft
smeandliesmeonthecouch.Heget
sin
bet
weenmylegsandl
ooksatme.
"
Thando.
"
"
Mmmh?
"
"
Tel
lmet
ost
op.
"
Iopenmymout handcl osei tagain.DoIwanthi m
tostop?Nobutt helit
tl
evoi ceatt hebackofmy
headi ssayi ngt hisiswr ong.Ihar dlyknowt hisguy
and-Iam sur prisedbyt hef eelofhi sli
psonmi ne.I
haveki ssedaf ewguysbutIcan' tbetonmyki ssing
skil
ls.Ifollowhi sleadandhi slipsar esosof tand
tenderIcan' thel ppulli
nghi slowerl ipbetweenmy
teethandhegr oans.Guesshel i
kedt hat.Hishel ps
meoutofmyspor tbr
aandheki ssesmyboobs.My
hearr atequi ckensasoneofhi shandssneaki nside
myshor ts.Her ubsmycl i
twhi l
esucki ngonmy
nipplespayi ngat t
enti
ont oeachar eola.Heinser ts
onef ingerinmyhol eandIsqui rm uncomf ort
abl y.
Het ri
esi nser t
inganot heroneandIf l
inch.Hest ops
andt akesouthi shandi nsidemyshor ts.
"
OpenyoureyesThando.
",hecommands.
Iopent
hem slowl
yandheget
sof
fme.Hesi
tsnext
tomeandIsitnextt
ohi
m.
"Areyouavi
rgi
n?"
,hef
inal
lyasksaf
teral
ong
sil
ence.
Mybr ainstart
swor kingagainandIment al
ly
facepalm myselfuponr eal
isi
ngthatIwasgoingt
o
givemyi nnocencet oacompl et
estranger.
Somet hi
ngIhadkeptf ormydestined.My
consciousscreams' theverysameonewhodoesn't
wantyou? 'andIlookdown.
"
Yes.
",Icr
oakout
.
Wekeepquietagai
nandher
unshi
shandoverhi
s
bal
dhead.
"I
'
m sor
ryoftaki
ngadvant
ageofyoul
iket
hat
."
,he
apol
ogi
ses.
Hestandsupandwear
shi
sbl
azer
.Il
ookathi
s
t
runkandIgul
p.
"
I'
llbegoi
ng.I
'
llcheckonyoul
ater
."
Heki ssesmytempl eandwal ksout .Whatjust
happened?Iguessmebei ngavi rgincameasat ur
n
off.ImeanI'mlike22andIkeptmysel ffor
someonewhot hinksI
'm ahoodr at.I'
m sucha
clown.IwishIcant el
lmybr othersaboutt hisbut
theywi l
lgoaft
erOzoandi nterrogatehim.Ihadt o
begt hem t
oletgoofthatgolddi ggingbast ard.I
cal
lUnyezi
.She'
dknowwhatt
odoi
nthi
ssi
tuat
ion.

TSHEGOFATSO
"
Thatwasawkwar
d."
,Isayget
ti
ngi
ntot
hecarwi
th
Noxl
o.
Shenodsandst ar
ttheengine.Ihaveneverbeenin
suchatenseawkwar dposit
ion.Theauraduri
ng
thatwhol
emeet i
ngwast enseassoonasUnyezi s
husbandwalkedinbutthatisnoneofmybusi ness.
"
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
ieveyou'
redat
ingKhul
ekani
."
,Noxol
o
"
Iknow.I
tjustf
eltwei
rdt
hatwe'
redat
ingf
ri
ends.
Hi
saniceguy."
,Ismil
e.
"Ar
gh.Whocar
es?I
'
m happyt
oseeyouhappy.
You'
regl
owi
ng."
"Hemakesmesohappy.Heunder standsmyl ove
forsnakesandwewentt oseehi sformerpython
pet.Thathadtobethemostspeci althi
ngthatever
happenedtome.Itwassobeaut i
ful
.Hedoesn' tt
ell
met ogoondiets,
hej ustdoesn'
tmi ndmychubby
self
.Ihaveneverf
eltsoconf i
dentinaforever.
"
Noxol
olooksatmebef
oreconcent
rat
ingont
he
r
oadgrinni
ng.
"I
'
veneverseenthi
ssideofyou.You'
renott
hatshy
gloomygi
rlanymore.
",Noxol
o.
Ibl
ushandshel
aughsatme.
"
Yourengagementr
ingi
sbeaut
if
ul.
"
ShelooksatitassheparksnexttoKuhl
esyar
d.
Thereist
hisgli
ntinhereyes.Shesmil
esand
shakesherhead.
"
Youl
ovedon'
tyou?
",Iaskl
ooki
ngather
.
"MorethanIt
houghtIwoul
d.Hi sjust.
..Idon'
tknow.
HetreatsmesogoodTshegot hatitfeelsweir
d
sometimesandtoogoodtobet ruecauseI '
m not
usedtothi
s."
,shesayssmil
inglightl
y.
"
Enj
oyi
tbabes.Don'
tovert
hinkanyt
hing.
"
Wegetoutofthecarandasweapproacht hehouse
wehearshout
ing.WewalkinandBhekikhayais
si
tti
ngonthecouchlooki
ngatashout
ingand
cryi
ngmessKuhlekonkewit
hfurr
owedeyebr ows
andonerai
sedeyebrow.Bythewayhekeeps
cl
enchi
nghisjawhei
sverypi
ssed.Wel
ookat
Kuhl
ekonkeandshei
scryi
ng.
"Idon'twantt
hisbabyBhekikhaya!I
'm notr
eady.I
can'tbeamot hernow!
",she'
scryinghyster
ical
ly.
"
Kuhl
est
opshout
ing.
",hesayscal
mly.
"
Ihat
eyou!
",sheshout
svei
nspoppi
ng.
Shesl
amsherbedr
oom doorbehindherandl
et'
s
outal
oudscr
eam.Bheki
khayalooksatusand
st
andsup.
"
Tellherwe'
l
lseehert
omor
row.Bye.
",Isaypul
li
ng
Noxolo.
Shepul
lsherar
m awayf
rom me.
"
Bheki
khaya.
",shecal
lshi
m.
Het
urnsbackwit
hthescar
iestexpr
essi
onandI
r
eal
lywantt
orun.
"Don'
thi
ther
.Pl
ease.
",shebegswi
tht
ear
sinher
eyes.
SadnesspassesthroughBheki
khaya'
seyesbefor
e
shaki
nghiseyes.IholdNoxol
oshandasitshakes.
"
Iwoul
dnever
."
,heent
ers.
West andthereandIpul lNoxolooutthedoor .She's
shakingwhilecryi
ngsilentl
y.Iguesst heshouting
boughtbackal lt
hememor i
es.Ifeeltearsf
il
lmy
eyesasIr ememberhowshe' dtryhidingal
lthose
scarswithmanycl ot
hing.Heneverhi therfacet hou.
Idecidetodriveasshesi t
sinthebackseat .
"
Shoul
dIcal
lyourt
her
api
st?
"
"
No.Ndabenkhul
u."
,shesobs.
Isi
ghandsear chforhi
stensbutcan'tf
indthem.
Shereal
izesandtakesthephone.Shetalkstohi
m
andIli
stentotheradi
otoavoideavesdroppi
ng.

NKOSI
NATHI
"Areyoureadyt
otellmewhathappenedt
hat
night
?",
Sandraasks.
Iam l
ayi
ngdownonthesofawit
hmyeyescl osed.
Whenmom suggest
edatherapi
stIexpect
edanold
womanbutSandrai
sapeti
tewomanwi t
hthe
cur
vesandboot
y.Isi
tupandlookatherasshe
scr
ibbl
esdownonhernotebook.Herweavecomes
downonherfaceandshefl
icksitof
f.
"
Howol
dar
eyou?
",Iask.
Sherai
sesherheadandlooksatme.Imai
ntai
nthe
eyecont
actt
il
lshesighs.
"
I'
m 26.
",shef
inal
lyanswer
s.
"
Youl
ookyoungert
hant
hat
.22est
imat
ed.
"
Shedoesr
eall
y.Shehast
hemostt
endereyesand
i
tshar
dnottolookatt
hem.
"
Okay.Nkosinathidoyoufeell
ikeweedmakesyou
f
orgett
hatincident?Theoneyouwon'tt
ell
."
"
Atf
irstIsmokedi
tforthatr
easonandt
hanI
r
eal
isedther
ewasmor etoweed."
Shewr
it
esdownandl
ooksatme.
"
Mor
e?Li
kewhat
?"
"Sexualst
amina.Appeti
te.I
tgavemet hisnew
feel
ing.Li
keitreveal
edt
her ealme.Icanthi
nk
everyt
hingthroughwhenI'm hi
gh.
"
Shel
ooksatmeandnods.
"
Youseet
hosedar
kspot
sinyoureyes?
"
Inod.
"They'recausedbyweed.Youreyesl osethat
whitenessi nthem.Youmayeatal otbutyoul ose
weight .I
tgivesthebrainsomuchhappi nesst hati
t
i
mbal ancesthehypothalamusandcancause
bipolarinmostcases.Youcanl oseyourmi ndfrom
smoki ngweed.YourI Qdecr
easeswi theachsmoke
yout ake.Evernoticedhowdr yyourskinis?Thats
causedbyweed.Youbecomeachi mneyt hatyour
l
ungsar esoakedwi thsmoket hatt
heycan'tpump
enoughoxygenat edbloodaroundthebody."
Inodandl
etal
lthi
ssi
nki
n.
"
Whenwast
hel
astt
imeyousmoked?
"
"
Aweekaft
erIst
art
edat
tendi
ngthefi
rstsessi
on
wit
hyoupl
usIsawhowitwashurt
ingmom. "
"
Soi
fI'
m cor
recti
tsbeencl
oset
oamont
h?"
Inodandshesmi
leswr
it
ingdown.
"
Howi
sthesl
eepi
ng?
"
"
2hour
smaxandI
'
m upagai
n.I
tst
heseni
ght
mar
es.
They.
..
argh.
"
"
Theywhat
?"
"Theyhauntme.It
slikethatexactmomentplays
againandagain.I
t'
slikeI'
mt her
eagainonthe
stai
rcaseseei
nghim stra-
",Ist
opabrupt
ly.
Ist
andupandt
akemyphone.
"
Nkosi
nat
hiwe'
renotdoneyet
."
"
Wear
e."
Il
eaveherof
fi
ceandgeti
nsi
det
heawai
ti
ngcar
.
"
Myapar
tmentSker
e."
Henodsanddr ives.It
extSamkebutendup
del
eti
ngi
t.IcallAmandai nst
ead.Onl
yshecan
handl
emypai nandanger .
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
Ikeepqui
etf
orawhi
lej
ustbr
eat
hing.
"
Nkosi
nat
hii
sever
ythi
ngokay?
"
"
Ineedyou.Agai
n."
"
Ithoughtyousai
dwe'
rebet
terof
fasf
ri
ends.
"
"
Ithoughtsot
oobut
..
.Amandapl
ease.
"
Asobescapesmyl
ipsandIwi
peal
onet
ear
.
"I'
m sorr
ybutIcan' t
.Iwil
lbet her
easaf ri
endbut
I'
m notsleepi
ngwi thyou.Iloveyouandyouknow
thatbutIcan'tkeepdoingthis.Ican'tsett
leforless
thanmer esex.Ideservemor ethant hisandsodo
you.I'
m comingt houassoonasIf inishmyaf ter
schoolchores.I'
llhol
dyouandcr ywi thyou.Thats
allIhavetooffer.
"
"
Anyt
hingasl
ongyou'
rewi
thme.
"
Weendt hecallandIsi
gh.Herwordsplayinmy
headtoo.I
'm star
ti
ngtogetaheadache.Isitback
onthecarseatandlookupwithmyeyescl osed.
52
THANDO
AYEARLATER
IhavebeenignoringSbusisosi
ncewhathappened
andhisnotbackingdown.Adel i
verymanjust
droppedoffmylunchfrom him wit
hanotethat
reads"Iwoul
d'veboughtitmyselfbutI
'
m goingt
o
Niger
iatoday.
"Idon'
tknowwhyIfeltat
ingeof
sadnessthatIbr
ushedoff
.Unyezi
walksinlooki
ng
beauti
ful
.
"
Baby!
",shescr
eamski
ssi
ngmycheek.
Shel
ayscontai
neront
het
abl
eandsi
tsi
nfr
ontof
mesmil
ing.
"
Whatdoyouwant
?",
Isayeyei
ngher
.
"Not
hing.Ij
ustboughtmychi l
dren'
sauntsome
l
unchevent houghitseemssomeonebeatmetoit
."
,
shegrabsthetakeawayfrom me.
"Youl
yingbutthanksforl
unchevent
hough
Sbusi
soalreadydid.
"
Shel
ooksatmeandsi
tsst
rai
ght
.
"Okay.What'
swrong?You'
recal
li
nghi
m Sbusi
so
andyourtoneisaslowassomepeopl
ewouldgo."
"
He'
sleavi
ng!
",Isi
gh.
"
Leavi
ng?Towher
e?Howl
ong?
"
"
Idon'
tknow.
",Ishr
ug.
Shet
akesmyphoneandhandsi
ttome.
"
Cal
lhi
m andask.
"
"
No.
"
"
Cal
lhi
m."
Il
ookatherandshenodsherhead.Ipresshi
s
cont
actandhesi
tat
epressi
ngthecallopti
on.
"
Doi
t.
",shesayschewi
ng.
Ipr
esst
hecal
lopt
ionandi
tst
art
sri
ngi
ng.
"
You'
redonei
gnor
ingme?Af
terayear
?"
That'
swhathesaysassoonasheanswer
shi
s
phone.
"
Hey?
"
Unyezif
acepal
msandshakesherhead.
"
Hey.
",heanswer
schuckl
ing.
Icl
earmyt
hroat
.
"
Soyou'
rel
eavi
ng?
"
Ihearasi
ghont
heot
herend.
"
Yeah.I
'l
lbegoneforawhi
le.Ihavesomebusi
ness
t
hatsi
deaswell.
"
"
Howl
ongi
sawhi
le?
"
"
3to6mont
hs.
"
Icl
osemyeyesandUnyezinudgesme.
"
Ohokay.
"
Shefr
ail
sherhandsandtakesapaperwr
it
ingdown.
Sheshovest
hepaperinmyhand.
"
CanIseeyoubef
oreyoul
eave?
",Ir
eadout
.
"Yes.I
'
llcookandwe'
l
leatdi
nneratmyhouse.
That'
sokay?"
InodandUnyezipi
nchesme.
"
Ouch.
"
"
What
?"
"
Not
hing.Yeahdi
nneratyourhousei
sokay.
"
"
Okay.I
'
llsendt
headdr
ess.
"
Ichuckl
ebutdon'
ttel
lhi
m nott
o.
"
Thanksf
orl
unch.
"
"
Pleasur
e."
"
Bye.
"
"
Bye.
"
Wedr
opandIsqueall
ikeal
ovest
ri
ckent
eenager
.
"
So?
"
"
You'
resonosy.
"
"
Ihel
pedyou.You'
dbesul
kingr
ightnow.
"
"
We'
rehavi
ngdi
nnerathi
shouse.
"
"
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
owear
?"
Ishrugandopent
het
akeawayandshebought
steak.
"
SoIwant
edt
otal
ktoyouaboutsomet
hing.
"
"
Ha!Iknewi
t!
"
"
Shutup!
"
Shescr amblesinherbagandt
akesoutan
envelope.Shehandsittomeandsitsbackbit
ing
herli
p.Iopeni tandi
tsaCV.Thei
risacerti
fi
cateof
graduationt
oo.
"
Iwasst
udyi
ngonl
ine.Igotgr
aduat
edayearago.I
t
wasonNkosinat
his17t
hbirthdaysoIcouldn'
ttake
theshi
neandIendedupforgett
ing.Langadoesn't
knowtoo.Bei
ngastayathomemom wasneveron
mylist
."
Ismi
leandreadoverherCV.Seei
nganot
her
womanchasingherdreamsissohear
twar
ming.
"
Ican'
tbel
ieveyoudi
dn'
ttel
lmeaboutanyoft
his.
"
Shesmi
lesandshr
ugs.
"
I'
llhi
reyou.
"
Shel
aughsandt
akesmyhands.
"
Thankyou.
"
Shestar
tscr
yingandIst
andup.Ihugherasshe
cr
ies.

KUHLEKONKE
BhekikhayawalksinwithSinenhlanhl
aandhands
hertome.It akehimfrom hi
m wipingmybooband
i
nsertitinhismouth.Ilookathim andIhat
ehow
helookslikehisfat
herwithnosignofme.
"
Sthandwasam.
"
Il
ookupathim andhesmil
eskneel
ingi
nfr
ontof
mewhil
eholdi
ngSne'shands.
"I
tsbeenat oughyearf oryou.Forallofus.I
'
m
sorr
yt hatIthoughtyouwer ejustacti
ngupandt
hat
youhat edourson.Iknewnot hingabout
postpartum depressi
on."
Ilookdownandhewi pesmyt ear.Itakeoutmy
boobandl aySneonmyshoul derandr ubhi sback.
Aftergivingbi r
thtoSneIhatedhim.Il oat hedhim.
Unyeziwast heonewhonot i
cedsomet hingwas
wr ongwi thmebyhowIdi dn'
twanthi mt of eed.She
toldBheki khayaaboutPostpart
um depr essionand
signedmei natanasyl
um.Iwasal waysexhaust ed
andIhadl ostahugeamountofwei ght .Amandai n
herboar dingschoolwithnoonet ohel pmeandt he
thoughtst hatifmymot herwasher eitwoul dbe
bet t
ermadet hingswor
se.Unyezi hel
pedr aisemy
childuntilIwasout .
"
Letmet
akehi
mtohi
scot
."
Ihandhi
m Sneandl
eaves.Iwasabl
etodealwi
th
thedeat
hofmypar entsandIfi
nall
ycont
act
edmy
fat
her'
sbrotherandIwenthome.Mychi l
dcanhave
someonefrom mysi de.Bheki
khayacomesbackas
I'
m cl
eani
ngar oundthebedroom.
"
Kuhl
e."
.
Ilookathi
m andhehandsmehishandi
nwhi
chI
take.Hehol
dsmeinhisarms.
"
Wil
lyoumar
ryme?
"
Imoveawayf
rom hi
m andhet
akesoutar
ingf
rom
hi
spocket
.
"
Getdownononekneehawu.
"
Hechuckl
esandget
sdown.Hesmi
lesatme.
"
Wil
lyoumakemet
hehappi
estmanandmar
ry
me?
"
Ismi
leandnodwi
tht
ear
sst
reami
ngdownmyf
ace.
"
Yes?
"
"
Yes!
"
Hesli
dest
heri
ngonmyf i
ngerandstandsup.He
ki
ssesmeandwestayi
neachot her
sarms.
"Whatti
mearewef et
chi
ngAmanda?Shetext
edme
thatshei
sreadyf
orDecemberhol
idayswi
thher
nephew."
"
Let
'st
akeabat
h.We'
l
lfet
chheraf
terl
unch.
"

NKOSI
NATHI
Ithrowt heballatLangaandheki cksitatPlutowho
j
ustl ooksatit.Hisgrowingoldandal wayssl eeping.
We' l
lbesayinggoodbyet ohi
m nextweek.They' l
l
i
nj ecthi
m andhe' l
ldiepeacefull
y.Mom doesn' t
wantt oletgoofhi m buthisoldandsick.Hehas
cancerandhasl ostweight.Westoppl ayingandI
sitnexttoPluto.Him andUnyezi arethebestt hing
thateverhappenedt ome.Langasi tsnexttome
andPl utolayshisheadonhi slap.
"Got
akeoffyourunifor
m bef
oreMom comesback.
Youknowshe'ssti
llwait
ingf
oronemoremist
ake
andyourassi
swhi pped."
"
Itwasmylastdayofschoolt
odaysoIwon'
tneed
i
tanyt
imesoon."
"
Iwi
shIwasyou.Mat
ri
cul
antandal
lgr
ownup.
"
Ichuckl
eandbrushedhi
shai
rmaki
nghi
m gr
oan
andhitmyhand.
"Growi
ngupisnotfun.Iwi
shIwas5agai
n.
Cluel
ess.I
nnocent
."
Hel
ooksatmeandsqui
ntshi
seyes.
"
Whenwi
llyout
ellmewhyyouqui
tther
apy?
"
"You'
rej
ustakidLanga.Ther
ear
esomet
hing'
s
bett
erunsai
d."
Henodsandt
akesoutwi
negumsf r
om hi
spocket
.
HehandsmesomeandIacceptt
hem.
"
Doyoumi
ssher
?"
Il
ookathim confusedandhel
ooksatmeand
bl
inksannoyed.Ohher.
"Al
ltheti
me.Schoolhasn'
tbeent
hesamewi t
hout
her
.Ismellheri
nmyr oom somet
imes.Ihadt
ostop
l
ist
eningtoourvoi
cenotes.
"
Henodsandthr
owsawinegum i
ntheai
rand
cat
chesi
twit
hhismout
h.
"
Youl
oveherdon'
tyou?
"
Il
ookathi
m chuckl
ing.
"
Hai
boLanga.Howol
dar
eyouagai
n?"
Heshakeshi
sheadatme.
"
I'
mtur
ning11butjustcauseI
'
m achi
lddoesn'
t
meanI
'
m stupi
d."
Il
ookathi
m andnod.Hekeepssurpr
isi
ngme.
Pl
utost
andsupandrunsinthehouse.
"
Mom'
shome.
"
Irunupst
air
stomyr oom t
otakeoutmyuni f
orm
befor
eshemur der
sme.Shewal ksinwit
hNkanyezi
whoiseati
ngSimbas.Guessshef et
chedhi
mf rom
AuntThandos.Auntsmai
dlooksaf t
erhi
m when
Mom haserrands.
"
Heymom.
"
"
Heybaby.How'
sther
apy?
"
Langasi
deeyesmeandIcl
earmyt
hroat
.
"
Hel
pful
."
Shetakesoffhersungl
assesandputt
hem ont
he
count
erwithherhandbag.
"
DoyouknowhowmuchIpaypersessi
on?
"
Ishakemyheadandgr
abahandf
ulofNkanyezi
'
s
chi
ps.
"R2000perhour
.Imagi
nehowmuchIpayi
na
year.
"
Inodandsheopensthedrawersi
ntheki
tchen.I
don'
tunder
standwheret
hisisgoi
ng.
"
ThemoneyIuseforyourt
her
apyi
smyl
if
esavi
ngs
money.Idon'
twor
k."
Shestandnextt
othest
ovewi
thawoodenspooni
n
herhand.
"
ImetSandr
atoday.
"
Sandrapromi
sednott
otel
lhert
hatIst
opped
coming.
"Shet
oldmeyoustoppedat
tendi
ngyoursessi
ons
andyouthr
eat
enedhernott
ot el
lme.
"
Igul
passhewal
kst
owar
dsme.Imoveback.
Sandraisgoingt
opayforthis.Idi
dn'
tevent
hreat
en
her
.Ijusttol
dhertonottel
lmom orpayheravisi
t.I
wasjustjoki
ng.WhatcouldIdo?
"
Wozal
a."(
Comeher
e.)
She'
scrazy.I
magi
neget
ti
nganasswhoopi
ngat18.
Si
kes!
"
Mama.
"
"
Nat
hi.
"
"
Eishol
edi
.I'
l
lgot
oherof
fi
cer
ightnow.
"
"Ver
ywellt
hen.I'
llcal
lherandask.I
fnotNkosi
nat
hi
you'
llf
eell
ikeyourassisonfi
re.
"
Inodandshethrowst hespoonatmeandIduck
runni
ngoutthedoor.IshakemyheadwhenIget
outsi
de.Dad'
scardrivesi
nandhegetsoutasthe
dri
verparki
nfrontofme.
"
Uyaphi
?"(
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
)
"
Ther
apy.
"
"
Shef
oundout
?"
Inodandhel
ooksbehi
ndhi
m bef
orel
eani
ngonhi
s
car
.
"What'
swrongboy?Imaynott al
kaboutitbutI
knowandcanseesomet hi
ngiseat
ingyouup.It
hasbeenforyearsbutnowitsati
tspeak.Isi
tyour
mother'
sdeathcauseyouchangedafterherdeat
h?"
Icl
enchmyj
awandhands.
"
Iti
sisn'
tit
?Lookson-
"
"
Youwon'
tgeti
tBaba.
"
Igeti
nthecarandt
hedri
verdr
ivesof
faf
terIt
ell
hi
m wherewe'r
eheadi
ng.

NOXOLO
Iwal
koutwi
thmymom oft
heBr
idalBout
ique.
"
Thosedr
esseswer
ebeaut
if
ulNoxol
o."
"
Iknowmom butIdon'
tli
ket
hem.
"
Sheroll
shereyesandwebot hgetint
oourcar sand
hootateachotheraswedr i
veoff
.Ipromised
Ndabenkhul
ut ohavelunchwit
hhimtodaysoI
dri
vetohisrest
aurant
.Iwalktohisof
ficeandhe
hasaindoorpi
cni
csetupgoi
ngon.Ismi
let
aki
ng
offmyheelsandput
ti
ngmybagdown.
"
Khul
u."
,Igr
eet
.
Hesmil
esandcomestowar
dsme.Hel
if
tsmeup
andt
urnsar
oundwit
hus.
"
Howdi
dthedr
essf
it
ti
nggo?
"
"
Idon'
tli
ket
hosedr
esses.
"
"I
t'
sokay.We'
l
lgetanot
herdesi
gner
.MaybeRandy
even.
"
Ismil
eandki sshi
m.Hiski
ssessti
lll
eaveme
breat
hless.Wepul
loutandsmil
e.
"
Iloveyou.
"
Icl
osemyeyesandsi
gh.
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Hehol
dsmet
ight
erandIl
aymyheadonhi
schest
.
"
Thechefcookedyourf
avor
it
emeal
."
"
Hecookedyou?
"
Hel
aughsandwesi
tdown.Sampandbeanswi
th
hotbeefcur
ry.Icl
apmyhandscausi
nghi
mto
l
augh.
"
Sanel
eispr
obabl
yhomebynow.
"
"Yeah.Ihadhi
sfooddr
oppedof
fatourhousef
or
him."
Inodsmi
li
ng.Hei
sal
lI'
vebeendr
eami
ngaboutand
more.

TSHEGO
Iam att hei nternetcafémaki ngphot ocopi
es.Iam
signingupf orNSFASwi tht hehopesofget ti
ng
appr oved.I fIdon'tfi
ndabur sarysoonIdon'tknow
howI '
llstudynextyear .Iam r unni
ngl owoncash
andI 'm st ressedout .Iam scar edofaskingmy
grandmot hertohel psinceshe' salr
eadyhelping
withmygr oceri
es.Myl uncht imeisalmostover.I
takeever ythingandst uffthem i nmybag.Ir unto
wor kandwhenIgett her eI'
m heavingand
wheezi ng.Idi dn'tgettimet oeatandI '
m hungrybut
Igott ogr ind.If oundt hisjobasawai tr
essatsome
Indianr est aurantandt hetipsar ehandy.
"
Ineedyouont
abl
e5Mal
uda.
",Sandyor
der
s.
"
Okaywher
e'smyapr
onandheel
s?"
"
Behi
ndt
hecount
er.
"
Iwearmyheel sandapr onandwal ktotable5.Iput
onmysmi leandt akedownt hei
rorder.It
saver y
highstandardrestaur antandwewearf ormal.I
t
payswel landI'vebeensavi ng.Imightbeabl eto
payforthef i
rstsemest er.Idonthaveanycl asses
todaysoIt ookaf ulldayin.

NKOSI
NATHI
Ient
erSandra'
soff
iceandsitdown.Shelooksup
fr
om hernot
ebookandsmiles.Shestopssmili
ng
whensheseesthelookonmyf ace.
"
Areyoucr
azy?
"
Shel
ooksatmebl
inki
ng.
"
Icoul
dn'
tkeepl
ying.
"
"Iaskedifyouwer
ecr
azynoti
fyouwer
egoi
ngt
o
keeplying.
"
Shest
andsupi
gnor
ingmeandget
smyf
il
ewhi
ch
i
sthi
nnert
hatt
heot
hers.
"
Let
'sst
artwi
thoursessi
on.
"
Ichuckl
eandsi
tupst
rai
ght
.
"Youneedt
oletcer
tai
nthi
ngsbeSandr
a.WhatI
knowisasecr
etdeepert
hanPhor
aslyr
ics.
"
Shesi
tsdownandopensmyf
il
e.
"
Thelastti
meyouwalkedoutofher
eyounear
ly
t
alkedbutyouf
earsomethi
ng.Someone.
"
Shecrossesherlegsandherski rtgoesup
reveal
inghercreamythigh.She'swearingablouse
todaythatreveal
shercleavage.Herjugslook
beauti
fulshouldIsay.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
Il
ookatherandshel
ooksdownatherbook.
"Yourmot
her
.Shedi
edwhenyouwer
eyoung.Do
youmissher
?"
"Someti
mes.Shewasn'
tthatmuchofamot
her
.The
onlyt
imeImissheri
swhenIseeaR100000worth
Loui
seVuit
tonbag.Shecar
edmor
eaboutherheel
s
morethanus.
"
Shenodswr
it
ingdown.Herwr
it
ingnot
esi
rr
it
ates
me.
"
Stopt
hat
."
"
What
?"
"St
optakingnot
es.I'
m notal
ect
urer
.Li
stenandask
quest
ions.Nonotes.
",Ior
der
.
"
It
samust
."
"
Stopi
tSandr
a."
Sheput
sitdownandl
eansback.
"
Doyouhat
eher
?Yourmot
her
?Bi
ologi
cal
."
"No.Yes.Idontknow.Ihat
ethatImi ssher
sometimes.Shewasawhor e.Sleptwiththe
GardnermostlywhenDadwasn'tallowed."
"
Thefactt
hatsheranawayl
eavi
ngyoubehi
nd.
Doesi
tangeryou?
"
"
No.
"
"
Doyout
hinkyou'
l
leverwantt
omeetheragai
n?"
Ir
ubmyf ace.Howdowantt
omeetadeadper
son
Sandr
a?Igroan.
"
You'
reabeaut
if
ull
adySandr
a."
Shegul
psandsi
tspr
oper
ly.
"
Okay.Backt
othe-
"
"
Shutup.
"
Shest
aresatmesur
pri
sed.
"Idon'twanttot
alkaboutmymot
her
.Itpi
ssesme
off.Let'
stal
kaboutyou."
"
That
sinappr
opr
iat
e."
"
Idon'
tcar
e.Ar
eyouseei
ngsomeone?
"
"
No.
"
Shest andsupandgoest othel
it
tletableatt
he
cornerandpourswateri
nagl ass.Istandupand
standbehindher.I
'
mt al
lert
hanhereveni fshe's
wearingheels.MsSamboi saveryshor ti
ndi
vidual
.
Shet urnsar
oundandspill
swateronmei nshock.
"
Sor
ry.
"
"
It
sokay.
"
Itakeof
fmyhoodieandI'
mlef
ttopl
ess.Ihave
beenworkingonmyphysi
queasasoccerplayer
.It
hasimprovedImi
ghtsay.
"
Wecan.
..Uhm.
..Gobackt
oourseat
s."
Shesayswithhereyesal
lovert
hepl
ace.She'
snot
evenbreat
hing.
"
Breat
heSandr
a."
Sheexhal
esandgulpsdownherwater
.Iputmy
handsoneit
hersi
deofthet
abl
etrappi
ngherin.
"
Whatar
e-"
Icutheroffbyki
ssingher.Shet
astesl
ike
str
awberri
es.Sherespondsandmanherl i
ps.Sheis
agoodkisserI'
l
lgiveherthat
.Shepull
soutjustas
i
tgetsheated.
"
Wecant
.You'
reki
d."
"
I'
mlegal
."
"
You'
remypat
ient
."
"
Stopwi
tht
heexcuses.
"
Iki
ssheragainandsherepl
ieswit
hjustasmuch
hunger.Ipi
ckherupandsheissurpr
ised.Il
ayher
onthecouchgetti
ngbet
weenherlegswhi l
e
unbutt
oninghershi
rt
.
"
Thedoor
."
Igetupandlocki tki
ckingof fmyshoes.Igeti n
betweenherlegsagai n.Ihelpheroutofherbr aand
Irubandpinchherni ppleswhilekissingherneck.
Shemoansbeaut ifull
yandIhar denfull
y.Il
if
ther
skir
tupexposingr edlace.Shel ooksgoodinred.
Herthighsar
ebeaut if
ulandt hick.Isearchmy
pocketsandIfindacondom.Luck.It eari
topen
withmymout handi nertit.Shelooksdownatme.
"
Howol
dar
eyouagai
n?"
"
18.
"
Isl
ideherpanti
estot
hesidereveal
ingaBrazi
li
an
Wax.She'sal
readywet.Ir
ubmyselfonherbefore
i
nserti
ngmyselfandherpussywall
sswall
owmei n.
"
Fuck!You'
resowar
m andt
ight
."
She'
sti
ght
,warm andsof
t.Idon'
tthi
nkI
'
llr
egr
et
at
tendi
ngt
herapytoday.
It
hrustdeeperandshemoansbi
ti
ngherl
ips.
"
Mmmmh.
"
Ist
artmovi
ngandl
ookdownbetweenusl
ooki
ngat
howsheswall
owsmydicki
nsi
deher.
"
Ah!Nkosi
nat
hi!Ah!Shi
t!
"
She'
smoani ngloudlyandgrippi
ngmyar msdigging
hernail
sinmyski n.Thatsgoingt
oleaveabruise.
They'
llheall
iket
her est
.
"
Keepi
tdown.
"
Shebit
esherl
ipssubsi
dinghermoans.Imi
ghtst
art
at
tendi
ngther
apyagaini
fI'
llgetsuch.

LANGALAKHE
Unyeziischecki
ngonPl utowwit
hNkanyezi.Langa
i
svisit
ingSanelefortheweekend.Iopenthesafe
andtakeoutmygunl eavi
ngUnyezis.Iputi
tar
ound
mytracksuitwai
stbandandcoveritwithmy
hooodi
e.Unyeziwalksinthebedr
oom andIcl
osd
thesaf
eandexitthecloset.
"
Mawabongi
sacwal
aisganga.
"(I
'
m goi
ngout
.)
"
Oh.Iwant
edust
otal
k."
"I
'
llbebackbef
oredi
nner
.I'
m meet
ingwi
tht
he
guys.
"
Shenodsandki
ssesme.
"
Whatshoul
dIcool
?"
"
Yousai
dyouhadaheadacher
ight
?Or
der
."
"
Okay.Il
oveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Iki
ssheronelastt
imeandheadtomycar.Idri
veto
Khul
ekanishousei
nspeed.WhenIar
ri
veeveryone
i
sthere.
"
Icutmyl unchdat
eshor
tbecauseofyou.
",
Ndabenkhulu.
"
Zishubi
lebaf
o."(
It
sheat
ed.
)
"
Zishani
?"(
What
'swr
ong?
),Khul
ekani
.
"
RememberNkanyambaZi
kode?
"
Al
ltheguysf
acest
urnser
ious.
"
Whatdoeshewantnow?
"
"LangalamiandNkosi nathi
.Hisdaught er
schildr
en.
Ifnothei shandingmet otheaut hori
ti
esfor
Bongekasdeat h.Hehasr ecordingsofust el
li
ng
him wewi llgivehim hisdaughtersbodyofhe
doesn'ttalk.Healsowant sR1mi l
li
on."
Mydadst
andsupandf
ixeshi
ssui
t.
"
Ilef
tmywomanf
ort
his?Bheki
khaya.
"
Baf
olooksatdad.
"
Kil
lhi
m."
Henodsst
andi
ngup.
"You.Getr
idoft
hatSwanepoelgi
rl
.It
sbeenayear.
Londonseemsli
keagoodplaceforhert
orel
ocate.
"
Hewal
ksoutmumbl
ingandcussi
ngus.
"It
oldyounottohaveaconsci
enceandyouwent
aheadandgaveZikodedaught
ers
corpse.
",
Bheki
khaya.
Hest
andsupcl
icki
nghi
stongue.
"
LeaveSwanepoeltome.Deal
wit
hwhat
everNat
hi
i
sfaci
ng.
",Ndabenkhul
u.
Weal
lst
andup.
"
Getoutofmyhouse.Ihavet
opi
ckupmywoman
f
rom wor
k."
,Khul
ekani
.
Wegeti
ntoourcar
s.
"
RemindThandot
otakeherpi
ll
s."Khul
ekani
r
emindsme.
Isendherat
extanddr
iveof
f.
53
UNYEZI
Langagetsbackandput
shisguni
nthesaf
e.Iwai
t
forhi
m unti
lhesi
tsdownandhesi
ghs.
"DoIneedtocarrymygunar
ound?Shoul
dIst
op
dri
vingmysel
f?"
,Iaskhi
m.
Hebr
usheshi
sfaceandpul
lsmet
ohi
m.
"
No.We'
l
lhandl
eit
.It
snot
hingbi
g."
Inodandsi
tonhi
slapst
raddl
inghi
m.
"
Yousai
dweneededt
otal
k."
Inodandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
"RememberwhenIt
oldyout
hatIwasst
udyi
ng
onli
ne?
"
Henodsandl aysont hebedwi thhishandsunder
hishead.Ipulltheenvelopefrom thebedsideand
handi tt
ohim.Het akesitandtakesoutthe
cert
ifi
cate.Hefurrowshiseyebr owsandt hen
smiles.Hesitupandki ssesme.
"
WhatdoIcal
lyou?DrKhuzwayo?
"
"
Yes.Ther
api
sti
nthehouse.
"
Hesmi
lesandki
ssesmeagai
n.
"
I'
m pr
oudofyou.
"
Ifeelmychestwarm upandIshi
verabi
tfr
om the
goosebumps.Thosewordssoundsospeci
alt
ome.
"
Haveyout
oldyourf
ather
?"
Ishakemyheadandhetakesouthi
sphonedi
ali
ng
myDad'snumber.I
tri
ngsandheanswers.
"
Mkhwenyana.
"(Son-
in-
law.
)
"
Baba.I
'
m wi
thUnyezi
."
Hel
ooksatmeandnods.
"
Baba.
"
"
Ndodakazi
."
"Ngi
phethei
degreeyokubayiTherapi
stl
aesandl
eni
sami.
"(Iam hol
dingaTherapist
sdegreeinmy
hand.
)
Ihearshouti
ngandmyauntandmkhul
usvoi
ce
comest hr
ough.
"Yi
li
li
li
!Nazoke!Gema!Mshingi
la!
",myauntul
ulat
es
andrecit
esmycal m nameshappi
ly.
"I
dlozil
ivumi
lemtanam."(
Theancest
orshave
blessedyou.
),
Mkhulu.
Mysmi
ledi
sappear
sandLangal
ooksatme.
"
Byebye.Sophi
ndesi
foune.
"(We'
l
lcal
l.
),
Langacut
s
i
n.
Hedr
opst
hecallandl
ooksatme.Heopenshi
s
mout
handIshakemyheadandhenods.
"Al
so.IgavemyCVtoThandoandshehiredme.I'
l
l
bestar
ti
ngnextweek.Ineedsomeonet
olookaf
ter
mykidswhileI
'
m atwork."
Hel
aysbackdownont
hebedwi
thhi
seyebr
ows
f
urr
owed.
"
You'
reonl
ytel
li
ngmeal
lthi
snow?
"
Il
ookdownandpl
aywi
thhem ofhi
sT-
shi
rt
.
"
Iwant
edt
osur
pri
seyou.
"
"I
'
m surpri
sedandpr
oudbutyouknowIhat
e
surpr
ises.
"
"
Sor
ry?
"
Hef
acepal
msandshakeshi
shead.
"
Waaah.Wher
e'sNkosi
nat
hi?
"
"Hecamebackandsl eptaftertherapy.I'
m st
art
ing
tostr
essLanga.Itsbeenayearandst i
llno
progress.Hechangesgir
lseveryweek.Hei s
alwaysatthegym.Hedoesn' teatdinnerwithus.
Heisn'tbeingan18yearold.I'
ml osinghim."
"
I'
mjustaswor
ri
edandIdon'
tknowwhatt
odo.I
'
m
t
hinki
ngofl
ett
ingDadi
nter
vene.
"
Inodatthi
s.Langamovesundermeandhi
sgroi
n
rubsagai
nstmine.Hedoesi
tagai
nandIputmy
handsonhisabs.
"
Comeher
e."
Ismi l
eandhepul lsmyhandandIf al lont opofhim.
Hegr absmyf acegent l
yandki ssesmet enderly
whi l
ehi sotherhandunt i
esmybr aids.I '
mj ustinhis
T-shirtsohepul l
sitovermyheadandt hrowsit
acrosst heroom smi rki
ng.Het raceshi shandt omy
boobsandhesqueezest hem andIl ickmyl owerli
p.
Her unshi shandonmybackandIshi verathis
touch.Ihel phim outofhisT-shirt.Hegr absmybut t
andgr indsmef rom thebot t
om causi ngmet o
mat chhi smovement s.Myhandspul lhi s
sweat pantsdownal ongwi thhisCal vinKl ein
under wearandhel i
ft
shisbut tupandki cksthem
offalongwi thhisshoes.Hi serectandhi scockis
drippi
ngpr ecum.Hi shandt ravelsbet weenmy
thi
ghsandhesl i
desmyg- st
ringtot hesi deand
sli
psaf i
ngerinsidemyvagi naandIsqui r
m.He
sucksabr eath.
"
You'
resowet
."
"
Allf
oryou.
"
Heuseshisst r
engthandtearsmyg- str
ingandhe
smil
eswinkingatme.I '
m usedtohim doingthi
sby
now.Heli
ftsmeupandIhel psli
dehi min.Imoan
andhegroansgr i
ppingmywai stt
ight.Hestart
s
movingunderneathmewhi lehol
dingmywai stti
ght
andhethrustsaredeep.
.
I'
m aboutt ocum andLangapul l
smyhands.Hei s
movi ngundermemeandImoan.Mywhol ebody
shakesasIcum.Langadoesn' tstopmovingandI
am shaki ng.Het hr
ustsonemor etimebefor
e
spill
ingallhisseedsinsideme.Hel if
tsmeupand
takeshi mselfout.Helaysmeont hebedandI'
m
shaki ng.Mybodyl ungesforwardandImoanasan
aftereffectorgasm hi
tsme.
"
Shi
t!
",
Langacusses.
Ifeelhim har
denonmyt high.Al
oudbangf ol
lowed
byascr eam dist
urbshim asheisaboutto
penetrat
emeagai n.Welookateachother
.Webot h
standup.Ipullhi
sUnderwearandT- shir
tonfast
runni
ngout.Ifoll
owther agingscr
eam andbanging
anditsfr
om Nkosinathi
sr oom.Langastandsnext
tomeandl ooksatme.Het ri
esopeningthedoor
butit
slocked.Hekicksthedooropenandwef i
nd
Nkosinat
hiwithhisheadbet weenhiskneesandhis
weeping.
"
Babe.Gocheckt
heki
ds.I
'
lldealwi
tht
his.
"
Inodreluct
antl
yandleavethemessyroom.Ihead
forLangasroom andheisn'
tther
e.If
indhimi
n
Nkanyezisroom andt
hey'r
eplayi
ngcars.
"
Joi
nusmommy.
",Langa.
"
ComeMama.
",Nkanyezi
.
Isi
tnexttothenandgrabacar
.Myt
hought
s
wondertotheotherr
oom.

LANGA
Isi
tnextt
ohi
m ont
hef
loor
.Hi
shandsar
ebl
eedi
ng.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
Her
aiseshi
sheadandl
ooksatme.Hel
ookst
ir
ed.
"
What'
swrong?You'
vewr
eckedyourbedr
oom.I
sn'
t
t
her
apyhel
ping?
"
"
Whati
sitsupposet
ohel
pwi
thpr
eci
sel
y?"
"
Idon'
tknow.Tel
lme.Thi
sbehavi
our
."
"I
fItal
kedyou'dgotojai
l.Doyout
hinkIl
ikehaving
sl
eeplessnight
s?Ihavefucki
ngni
ghtmares!Have
beenforyears!
"
"Whywoul
dIgot
ojai
l?Whatni
ght
mar
es?
",Iask
conf
used.
"
Isawyouokay!Isawyou!
"
Hest
andsupangr
il
yandr
unshi
shandonhi
shead.
"Isawyoust rangleher!Yourhandswrappedf i
rmly
aroundherneckasshechokedandyoul ookedi nt
o
hereyesasshet ookherlastbreat
h.Youliedtous
andsai dsheranawayandl eftusbehi
nd.Doyou
knowt hatthatdidtoLanga?Hegr ewupt hinki
ng
hisownmot herdidn'
twanthim?Shedi dn'
tbuthe
didn'
tknowt hat!
"
Hesi
tsdownandcr
iesl
ouder
.Isi
tther
elooki
ngat
hi
m asIfeelmyheartbeatext
remel
yfast
.Noway!
Hecoul
dn'thaveseenme!
"Nkosi
nathi
.Itwasn'tme.Iwasn'
tinmyr ightst
ate
ofmind.Physical
lyi
twasmebutment all
yad
spir
it
uall
yitwasn'tme.Iknowyouwon' tbeli
eveme
butyourmotherangeredtheancestor
swi thherl
ies
and..
."
IrubmyeyesasIf
eelt
hem st
ing.Al
lthememor
ies
comeback.
"Khokhotookoverme.St rangledyourmot her.I
wokeupt henextdayandmyauntGogot he
sangomahadpul ledmeoutoft hetrance.Iam
sorr
yyouhadt oseeandkeept hatwit
hyouf orso
l
ong.I'm sor
ryIl
iedtoy'allbutIdidntknowhowt o
tel
ly'
all
.Iwasscar edy'
allmighthatemei fy'
all
knew.I'
m sosorryson."
Iwipemytearsandhestandsup.Hehandsmea
handandItakeit
.Heli
ft
smeup.
"
IcanneverunseewhatIsaw.Tellmom t
ostop
wit
hthi
stherapytal
k.Sandr
aisobli
gat
edtocal
li
ng
t
hecopsonyoui fshefi
ndsout.
"
"Thankyou.Weallhadatherapi
stwhenwewere
young.I'
l
lcal
lyourgrandf
atherandyoucant
alkt
o
him.I'
m sor
ry.
"
"I
tsokay.Iwon'
tbesl
eepi
nghomet
oni
ght
.Ineed
somef r
eshair
."
Inodandwat chhim ashepacksabagandleaves.I
si
nkbackdownont hefloorandcl
osemyeyes.
Thatki
dwillneverbethesameagain.Heneverwas
anyway.I
tsallmyfault.

NOXOLO
Ishowhi
mthedr
essandhesmi
lesatme.
"
It
sperfect
.Whatchangedyourmi
ndonBl
ackand
r
oyalgowndress?
"
"
Idon'
tknow.Ihavebeendr
aggingthi
swedding.I
ts
j
ustadress.I
'
m goi
ngtofi
tt
ingnextweekandthen
wecansetadate.
"
"
Final
ly!
"
Il
augh.
"
Shoul
dIdr
opy'
al
lof
f?"
"
Nost
handwa.We'
l
lbeokay.
"
Henodsandki
ssesmeandhandsmemykeys.
"
Sanel
e!"
,heshout
sforhi
m.
"
I'
m comi
ng.
"
Sanel
ecomesr
unni
ngoutf
ixi
nghi
scr
icketbag.
"
Idon'
tunder
standwhyy'
al
lcar
rysuchbi
gbags.
"
"
Youneverwi
llt
henmom.
"
Ndabenkhul
ulaughsandIpunchhim pl
ayf
ull
y.I
ki
sshim goodbyeandhefi
stbumpsSanele.Weget
i
nthecarandNdabenkhulugetsi
nhis.Wedriveout
andhoot.
"
Mom.
"
"
Mmmh?
"
"CanIcal
lMalumeNdabenkhul
uDad?Imeanyou
guysareget
ti
ngmarri
ed.
"
Isteal
aquickgl
anceathi
m bef
oref
ocusi
ngont
he
roadagai
n.
"
Yes.I
fyouwantt
o.Imean.
..Wow.
"
Ican'thelpthetear
st hatstr
eam downmyeyes.I
am sopr oudofhowhei swill
ingtoopenupt o
Ndabenkhul utaki
ngaf ather'
sroleinhi
sl i
fe.The
carswer vesandbulletsfl
yinsidethecar.On
i
nstinctIcoverSaneleaswhatIassumeasabul let
ri
pplesthroughmyar m.Anothergoesthroughmy
thi
ghandIscr eam.
"
Sir
ical
lKhuzwayo!
",
Iscr
eam i
npai
n.
"
Cal
li
ngKhuzwayo.
"
Thephoner
ingsandheanswer
s.
"
Missmeal
ready?
"
"
Wej
ustgotshotdown.
"
"
What
?"
"
We.
..Shot
.Hur
ry.
"
Mywor dssl
urasIl
oseconsci
ousness.Ihope
Sanel
eisokay.

NDABENKHULU
Justaft
erhercal
lIr
eceiveanalertf
rom her
i
nsurancecompanyandt hey'
realr
eadytaki
ngt hem
tothehospi
tal
.Iam al
readycall
ingtheguysthat
fol
lowher.
"
Whot
hef
uckshother
?!"
"Boss.We'
refol
lowedtheshoot
ingcarandwehave
oneoftheguys.Oneranaway.We'r
etakinghi
mto
theHQ."
"
Makesur
ehei
sreadyf
orme!
"
Idropthephoneswear ingandgett
ingi
ntomycar .I
dri
veof fi
nspeedheadi ngtot
hehospit
al.Whoever
didthi
swi l
lregreti
t.Ir
uninsi
dethehospit
aland
therecepti
onisttel
lsmetowait.Adoct
orpasses
andIgr abhim.
"
ANoxol
oSi
langwe.Shot
.Wher
eisshe?
"
"Er
r.
..She'
sst
il
lint
heat
re.Hersoni
sinwar
d15.
2ndFloor.
"
Ilethi
m andhefal
ls.Ir
unt
otheel
evat
orandi
t
takesti
mecomingdown.
"
Fuck!
"
Ir
untothestepswhil
etaki
ngoffmyj acket
.Ir
un
ar
oundlooki
ngintoeachwardunt
ilIseeSanele.I
walki
nandhislooki
ngatthenews.
"
Fianceandsonofmult
i-
bil
li
onai
rebusi
nessguru
Ndabenkhul
uKhuzwayohavebeenshotdown."
Iswit
chof
ftheTVandhel
ooksatme.Hehasa
sl
ingonhi
sarm.
"
Heyson.
"
Isi
tont
hechai
rnextt
ohi
sbed.
"
Dad.Howismom?Shest oodint
hewayandshe
t
ookallt
hesebul
let
s.I
..
.She.
..
"
"
Didyouj
ustcal
lmeDad?
"
HenodsandIhughi
m.
"
Ouch.
"
"
Sor
ry.Sor
ry.
"
Il
etgoofhi
m andr
ubt
hest
ingof
fmyeyes.
"Ihaven'
theardanyt
hingaboutyourmom.They
saidshe'
sstil
lint
heatre.
"
"
Ihopeshe'
sokay.Ican'
tloseher
."
"
Met
ooson.Met
oo.
"
Il
aymyheadonhi
sbedandsi
gh.I
'
m soscar
edof
whatt
hedoct
orwi
llsay.

KUHLEKONKE
Idropthecallandsitdown.Ithoughtshehad
recei
vedherhappil
yeveraf t
er.Who'dwanttoshoot
her?Noxolodoesn'thaveaproblem wit
hanyone.
Bhekikhayawalksi
nwi thAmanda.Amandat akes
Sneoutofhiscotandsmi lesatme.Theynoticemy
mood.
"
What
'swr
ongsi
si?
"
"
Noxol
o..
.She.
..
"
Iwi
peawaymyt
ear
s.
"
What
'swr
ongPeach?
",Bheki
khaya.
"NoxoloandSanelewer
eshotont
hei
rwayt
o
Sanelesschool
."
Amandasi
tsdownandBheki
khayat
akeshi
skeys.
"
Shi
t!Baf
o!"
Hewal ksoutdi
ali
ngonhi
sphone.Amanda
shushesSneandIhandherhisfeedi
ngbot
tl
e.
"
Wil
ltheybef
ine?
"
Ishrugandmyhear tjustdrops.Ist
andupt oget
somef r
eshai
r.Igot othebalconyinmyr oom and
l
ookdown.Ther eareguardsget t
ingof
fSUVswi th
gunsandBhekikhayai sorderi
ngthem ar
ound.He
tur
nsaroundl
ooksatme.Heput sahandonhi s
chestandmouths.
"
Iloveyoupeach.
"
"
Iloveyout
ooKhuzwayo.
"
Hegetsi
nhiscaranddrivesof
finspeed.Myphone
r
ingsandit
sMaluda.Ianswer.
"I
sitt
rue?IjustsawNoxoloscaronthenewsl
ive
andit
swr ecked.What
'sgoingonKuhle?
"
"I
t'
strue.Idon'
tknowTshegobutwhat
everi
tis,
i
s
abouttotakeusforal
ongr i
de.
"
Shesighsandwesayourgoodbyes.Ical
l
Bheki
khayatoaskwhat
'sgoi
ngbuthedoesn'
tgi
ve
memuch.Noxol
oandSanel
ebet
erbeokay.

TSHEGO
Cartyresshri
eki
ngdisturbmefrom myt
rai
nof
thoughts.Khul
ekaniburst
sthr
oughmydoor.
"
Let
'sgo.
"
"
Khul
ekani
.Gowher
e?"
Hest
art
sthr
owi
ngmycl
othesi
nsi
demysui
tcase.
"You'
l
lbest
ayi
ngatmyhouse.I
tssaf
ert
her
e.
Fuck!
"
"
Iam wor
kingni
ghtshi
ft
.Ican'
tbeatyourhouse.
"
"
Qui
twor
k."
"
What
?Ihavef
eest
opayf
or.
"
"
I'
llpayyourf
eesmanMal uda!Youwon'
tbegoi
ng
t
oschoolifyou'
redead!
"
Hepull
smebymyhandandher unswit
hmeoutto
hi
scar.Ther
eareguar
dsnextt
ohi m wi
thAK-
47
andbull
etpr
oof
s.
"
Khulekanikwenzakal
an?
"(what
'sgoi
ngn?
),Iask
wor
ri
edly.
Het hr
owsmeal ookandwegeti ntohiscar.The
guardstakethesuitcasetothebigblackcar s.They
fol
lowusaswedr iveoffandI'm gett
ingfrustr
ated.
Arewei ndanger?Ican'tevenaskt hi
sZul uman
causehe'l
lgiveme' theeye'onl
yandIdontl i
kethe
angryhim soIjustmi ndmyownbusi ness.

NKOSI
NATHI
Dadf etchedmef rom myapartmentwi t
hSbhamu
andt heotherguards.AuntNoxoloandSanelegot
gunnedt odayi nt
hemor ni
ngandever yonei
sall
overthepl ace.Mom ismakingussomet hi
ngtoeat
withNkanyeziandLangaonhersi deli
ketheygl
ued
there.Myphoner ingsandeveryonelooksatme.It
's
Amanda?Iansweri tandexcusemysel f.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
"
Hey.
"
"
Hey.
"
"
Soyou'
reback?
"
"
Yeah.Camebackyest
erday.
"
"
Nice.
"
"
Yeah.
"
"LookManda.I
tski
ndofhect
icr
ightnow.CanIcal
l
youlat
er?
"
"
Okaybye.
"
"
Bye.
"
Idropthecallandlookatmyphone.She' sback.I
wanttoclapar oundandsingbutknowinghow
muchIl oveherbutsti
llcan'
thaveherbrushesme
offthewrongway.IsitnexttoDadandheput shi
s
arm overme.
"
Whydontyouj
ustt
ellherhowyouf
eel
?"
"Shewantsmet odealwithmyissuesbef
orewe
canpursueanything.Il
osemytemperalotandit
scaresher
.Ican'tevenpinchawomanbutsheisn'
t
taki
ngchances.
"
Hel
ooksatmeandnods.
"
Irui
nedyoudi
dn'
tI?
"
"
Huh?
"
"
Whatyousaw.I
trui
nedyoudi
dn'
tit
?"
"
Maybeal
it
tl
e."
"Yourmotherhasbeencompl
aini
ngaboutt
hegi
rl
s
you'bang'
."
Ichuckl
e.
"
Ifi
twer
eupt
omom.I
'
dbeavi
rgi
nbynow.
"
Hel
aughs.
"It
oldheraboutqui
tt
ingther
apyandsheagr eed.
Shecall
edSandraandshesai dshecan'
tletyou
cancelt
herapyli
ket
hat.Sheinsi
stsyouneedher
hel
p."
"
Yeahr
ight
."
Hel
ooksatmebef
orel
aughi
ng.
"
Yousl
eptwi
thherdi
dn'
tyou?
"
It
ryi
gnor
inghi
m bychangi
ngchannel
s.
"
Youdi
d!"
"
Sshh.Mom wi
llhearyou.
"
Heput
shi
sfi
stsonhi
smout
hst
if
li
nghi
slaught
er.
"
Sodi
dyou?
"
"Yes.Shekeptaski
ngmequest
ionsandi
twas
pissi
ngmeof f.
"
"
Yourmot
herwi
llki
llyoui
fshef
oundout
."
"
Foundoutwhat
?",
Mom.
Weal
mostj
umpoutofourseat
sinf
ear
.
"
Not
hing.What
'shappeni
ngatt
hehospi
tal
?",
Dad.
"
She'
sinaninducedcoma.Shehadtwobul
let
s.
Oneonherarm.Oneonherthi
gh.Sheal
sobrokea
ri
bfr
om t
heforceshehi
tthest
eeri
ngwheel
.",
Mom.
"
Sanel
e?"
,Dad.
"Ndabenkhul
uisdr
oppi
nghi
m of
fher
e.Hesounds.
..
Idon'
tknow.",
Mom.
"I
'
llbegoingwithhi
m whenhearri
ves.Therear
e
guardsoutsi
de.Don'
tleavet
hehouse."
,Dad.
Hest
andsupandr
unsupst
air
sast
heguar
dsal
ert
usthatMalumeNdabenkhul uisherewithSanele.
Dadr unsdownstai
rsandmeet sSaneleonhisway
out.Hegreetsandrunsout.LangarunstoSanel e
askinghim howhef eel
s.Mom looksatmeandI
shrug.Igotomyr oom tochangethangodownt o
thegym.Mymi ndiscrowdedandIcan'tevenleave
thehouse.
54
THANDO
Ozocal
lsmeandt
ell
smehisout
side.Itel
lthe
guar
dstol
ethi
min.Hewal
ksinandsitsnexttome.
"
Youst
oodmeup.Agai
n."
"
Didn'
tyousayyouwer
eleavi
ng?
"
Hechuckl
esandl
ooksatme.Het
urnsmyheadt
o
l
ookathim.
"
Iam her
e.Imissedmyf l
ightcauseIhadthehopes
t
hatyou'
dpullup.Il
ostabill
iondealcauseIneeded
t
oseeyou."
Il
ookathi
m andher
ubshi
sthumbsundermyeyes.
"
What
'swr
ong?Youhaveeyebags.Youl
ookt
ir
ed.
"
"Myfamil
ymaybei ndanger
.Mybr ot
her'
swif
ewas
shotyest
erdayandwe'
reonlockdownthat
'swhyI
coul
dn'tmakeit
."
"Whatdoyoumeanyourf
ami
lymi
ghtbei
n
danger
?"
"
Exact
lyt
hat
."
"
Youmi
ghtbei
ndanger
?"
Hetakesouthi
sphoneandexcuseshi
msel
f.He
comesbacklat
er.
"Myguysar
eont
hei
rway.Yoursecur
it
yai
n't
enough.
"
Il
ookathi
m.
"
What
?Mysecur
it
yisf
ine.
"
"
Idon'
tcar
e.Mymenar
emor
eel
it
e."
Il
ookathi
m ashet
akesof
fhi
sjacket
.
"
Ial
waysseeyoui
nsui
ts.
"
"
Icameher
ebef
orewor
k.Ij
ustdr
oveher
einst
ead.
"
"
Isee.
"
"
Haveyoueat
en?
"
"Mybrot
hersorder
edmesomepizza.Not
hingst
ays
down.I'
m agi
tat
edandf
rust
rat
ed.
"
"
Icancooki
fit
'sokaywi
thyou.
"
Ist
andupandIlookathi
m.Hi
stal
lert
hanmeand
ver
yint
imi
dat
ing.
"Whatdoyouwantf rom meOzo?It
sbeenayear
andyousti
llpersi
stent
.Don'
tyouhaveawi
fe?
Gir
lf
ri
end?Al i
fe?"
"
Ihaveawi
fe.
"
"
Oh.
"
Hecomescl
osert
omeandholdsmebyt hewaist
.I
t
rypul
li
nghi
shandsawaybuthi
sst
rongerthanme.
"
Pleasel
eave.Yourwi
femi
ghtbewor
ri
ed.
"
Hechuckl
esandpul
lsmecloser
.Iputmyhandson
hi
sfi
rm chest
.Hesmel
lssogood.
"
Youdon'
tseem wor
ri
edt
ome.
"
"
Huh?
"
"
Yousaidmywi
femi
ghtbewor
ri
ed.You'
remy
wif
e."
"
Sli
ck.Youcanl
eave.I
'
llcookonmyown.
"
"
Letmegetcooki
ng.
"
Heperksmyl i
psandlet
'smego.Hewalksgot
he
kit
chenrol
li
nguphisshi
rtt
ohisel
bows.Whatt
he
fuck?
!
"Gotakeashowerwhil
eImakeyousomet
hing.
",he
shoutsfr
om t
hekit
chen.
Il
ookathim asheopensmycupboardssi
ngi
ng
somesong.Ishakemyheadandgotomyr oom.I
str
ipnakedandgeti
nthebat
hroom.Ideci
deona
coldshower
.

NDABENKHULU
We'vebeenatHQsinceyest
erdayandwest
il
lnot
get
tingsomeanswers.
"Baf
o.Ehli
saumoya."(Br
other
.Cal
m
down.)
,Khul
ekanihol
dsmeback.
Ipushhim awayandgr
abt hemanwho's
responsi
blef
ormyfamil
iesshoot
ing.
"Lal
ela!Ukozinyaneladli
wazingwenyakwaceba
i
zizi
ba!"(Li
stenher e!Nothi
nghappenswit
hout
consequences.),Ishoutinhisf
ace.
"
Boss.
"
Wealltur
naroundandSkhal
itakesof
fhi
shat
wr
ingingiti
nhishands.
"
Yini
?"(
What
?),
Langaaskhi
m.
"Agr oupofelit
esol di
ersjustarr
ivedandar et
aki
ng
ourmenout .Theysayt heywer eorderedbya
Sbusi soButhelezi
.Ididabackgr oundcheck.An
i
nt er
nationalbusinessguru.Hugei nvest
or.Nowif
e.
Noki ds.Justhismot herandf at
her.No
sibli
ngs.",
Skhali.
Ilookathi
m andnod.Hel
eavesandIcal
lsomeof
theguys.
"Makesurehetal
ks.Fr
yhi
sbal
lsi
fyouhavet
o."
,I
orderbar
king.
Theynodandgr
abt
hecul
pri
t.Igr
abmyj
acketand
gunandwel eave.Khul
ekanii
stheonedr
ivi
ng.We
reachThandosplaceandourmenareoutsi
de.
"
What
'sgoi
ngonher
e?"
,Bheki
khaya.
Themenpointinsi
deandtheyardisfi
ll
edwithmen
wit
hguns.Langaopensthegateandwewal kin.
Theypoi
ntgunsatusandwepul loutourown.
"Bhut
i!I
ma!Sbusisotel
lthem t
oputt
hei
rguns
down!",
Thandoscreamsdressedi
nhert
owel.
Theguynexttoherr
aiseshi
shandandt
heyput
thei
rgunsdown.
"
Thandolwet
huBeautyKhuzwayo!Kwenzakal
ani
l
a?!
",Langashout
sangri
ly.
"
Ubanil
o?"(
Who'
sthi
s?)
,Bheki
khayaasks.
Thandoi
sjustst
aresatuswi
de-
eyed.
"
I'
m Sbusi
soBut
hel
ezi
.ThandosBoyf
ri
end.
",
theguy
t
alks.
"
Thandoswhat
?",
Khul
ekaniasks.
"
Boyf
ri
end.
",heanswer
s.
Theguyscockst
hei
rgunsandThandoj
umpsi
n
f
rontoft
hisSbusi
so.
"
Imani
."(
Wai
t.
),
Itel
lthem.
Theyputt
hei
rgunsdown.Iwal
kcl
osert
othet
wo.
"
Uyasazit
hina?
"(Doyouknowus?
),Iask.
"Ido.
..Babehlehl
a."(
Move)
,hesaysmaki
ngThando
standbesidehim.
"
Siwobani
?"(
Whoar
ewe?
),Iask.
"Abaf
ana.
..
"(Boys.
..
),
hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatwhen
Thandopi
ncheshim.
"AmadodanaakaKhuzwayo.
"(Khuzwayo
sons.
),
Sbusi
so.
"
Whatdoyouwantwi
thoursi
ster
?",
Iask.
Hel
ooksatherandsmi
lesabi
t.It
hrowal
ookt
o
t
heguysandLangashr
ugs.
"Iloveher.Imadesomer einf
orcement
sonher
secur i
tyj
ustasyoudi dwi t
hyourwives.Sor
ryI
didn'ti
nform you.
",heanswer s.
Hispr
idef
ul.Hel
ooksatThandowhor
ubsherar
m.
She'
sfeel
ingawkwar
d.
"
Thando.Doyouknowt
hisman?
",Khul
ekani
.
Shenods.
"
Isheyourboyf
ri
end?
",Langa.
Shelooksathim andt
hanus.HelooksatherandI
am l
ookingateveryemoti
ongoingpasshiseyes.
Sofarhisgenui
ne.Helooksatherli
keIlookat
Noxolo.Hecan'
tloveher
.Hisnottheone.
"
Yes.
",Thandol
ies.
Langapushest hr
ought hem andget
si n.Wefol
low
him andIl ookatthesetwoagain.Heput shi
shand
onherl owerbackandl eanstowardsherkissi
ngher
temple.Theset woar enotdati
ngbutthere'
s
somet hinghere.
"
Gogetdressed.I
'
llst
aywi
thyourbr
other
s."
,he
whi
sper
s.
Iwal
kinsideandsitnextt
otheTV.Iswit
chitof
f.
Hecomesi nandThandogoest oherr
oom.Hesits
onachairinfr
ontofus.Weallkeepqui
et.
"
Areyoudat
ingmysi
ster
?",
Khul
ekaniasks.
"
Honest
yno.Iwoul
dli
kei
tifwepur
suesomet
hing
genui
ne.I'
veknownherforayearandIlovedher
thefi
rstt
imeIsawheratthemallaft
ersheknocked
mycarmi rr
orout
."
,Sbusi
so.
"
Doyout hi
nkt
hisi
samovi
e?Oranovelper
haps?
",
Khul
ekani.
"
No.Doyou?
",Sbusi
so.
Mmmmh.Imakeaf
aceandBheki
khayasni
cker
s.
"
Nei
therdoI
."
,Khul
ekani
.
Wegobackt
obei
ngqui
et.Thi
sissoawkwar
d.
"
DoyouknowThandoi
savi
rgi
n?"
,Langa
"
Yes.
",Sbusi
so
"Youwil
lnotbangmysist
er.Youwon'
tdoasmuch
assti
ckyourtonguedownherthr
oat
."
,Langa.
"
Okay.That
senoughBhuti
.Iam oldenought
o
makemyownchoices.
",Thandojumpsin.
"
No.You'
renothavi
ngsexThando.
",Langa.
"I
'
mi nmy20s.Whatdoyouexpectmet
odo?
",
Thando.
"
Anyt
hingbutsex.
",Langa.
"
Leaveherbaf
o."
,Bheki
.
"
NoBaf
o.Yi
nganel
e."(
She'
sachi
ld.
),
Langa.
"
Okayokay.Thandowewil
ltal
ktoyoul
ater
.Ni
na
l
etsgo.
",Isayst
andi
ng.
Il
ookatSbusi
so.
"
Wentsizwa.Kindlytakeastepback.Youhaven'
t
weddedoursistertheref
oreshe'
ssti
llour
r
esponsibi
li
ty.
"
Henodsatmywor
dsandIpul
lthesebi
gheaded
f
ool
swithme.
"
Thatmanneedst
oleave.
",Bheki
.
"
Iagr
ee.
",Langa.
"Y'
allhavetocomet oter
msthatThandowil
lhave
sex.Y'al
lmadet hepoorki
dbeavirgi
nti
llt
hisl
ong.
Asambe! "
,Khulekani
.
Igeti
ntot
hecarandtheyfol
lowmumbl i
ng.Fool
s.I
dri
vetoHQ.Wehavebiggerprobl
emsthanThando
havi
ngsex.Idr
opthem of
fanddrivet
othehospit
al.
UNYEZI
Itr
ycal
li
nghi
m agai
nandhefi
nall
ypicksup.Il
et
outasi
ghofr
eli
efassoonasheanswers.
"
Babe.Youf
ine.
"
"
Ofcour
seI
'
mfi
ne.
",Langa.
"
Whereareyou?Youdidn'
tcomehomel
astni
ght
.I
wasworked.It
hought
-"
"
Calm down.I
'mfine.Iwaswi
tht
heguys.I
'
m onmy
wayhome.",
Langa.
"
Okay.Il
oveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Idropthecal
landheaddownst ai
rs.Langaand
Sanelearewatchingmovies.Akissingscene
comesonandt heylaugh.I
diot
s.
"
Wher
e'sNkanyezi
?"
"
Wit
hPl
uto.
",Langa.
Iheadt
oPl
uto'
sroom andNkanyezii
sbr
ushi
nghi
s
fur
.Wait.Whyisn'tPl
utksst
omachmoving?Ikneel
nexttohim andshakehim.Hist
onguei
ssticki
ng
out.
"
No.No.Nkanyezihowl
onghashebeenl
iket
his?
"
"Idon'
tknow.Tholeelel
e."(
Foundhi
m sl
eepi
ng.
),
he
answersinnocent
ly.
"
Okay.Got
oyourbr
other
smybaby.
"
Henodsandr unsoffexcitedl
y.Idon'
tevenhave
thest
rengthtorepri
mandhi m.Ili
ftPl
utoupand
i
ntothegarden.Itameashovelanddogunderour
PeachTree.TheGar dnercomestome.
"
Ma'
am.Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
"
Diggi
ngagr
ave.
",
Ianswerwi
pingsnotof
fmyf
ace.
"
Letmehel
p."
,heof
fer
s.
"
No.Letme.
"
Hel ooksskepti
calatfi
rstbutgivesinandleaves.I
keeponwi pingmyt ear
swi thmyj acketasIdiga
grave.Isi
tdownt i
redandcr y.Iknewhewassi ck.I
didntthi
nkhe'ddiesoear l
y.Iwonderi fi
twas
painful
.
"
Babe.
"
Iturntot
hesoundofLangasvoi
ce.Hewalks
towardsmeslowl
y.HelooksatPl
uto,
thehal
fdug
graveandme.
"
Ishe.
..
?"
Inodandhecloseshi
seyes.Hetakest
heshovel
fr
om me.Heroll
suphissl
eevesandstar
tdi
gging.I
holdPl
utoi
nmyar ms.GodknowshowmuchI
l
ovedthi
sdog.
"
Baby.Layhi
min.
"
Iputhimi nslowlyandbr ushhi sfur.Itakeof fhis
coll
arandmoveaway.Langat hrowst hesand
i
nsideandIwat chitcoveringupPl uto'
sf urryframe.
Igocalltheboys.Weal lstandaroundt hegrave.
Nobodysaysanyt hi
ng.Pl utowasmybestf ri
end.
Thebestnannyf orthekidsicoul deverf i
nd.He
wasal i
keabledog.Ever ybodyl ovedPl uto.Afterour
si
lentburialwegobacki nside.Langaf oll
owsmet o
ourbedroom.
"
Youokay?
"
Inodandgeti nt
ohisarms.Hedoesn'tsayany
mor ebuttakesof
fhisshoes.Iwai
tforhim ashe
takesoffhisshi
rt
.WegetinbedandIl ayonhis
chest.
"
Howi
sever
ythi
ngsof
ar?
"
"
Unclear
.Theguywehavewon'tgi
veanyoneup.
Wehadanencounterwi
thThandosboyfr
iend.My
l
it
tl
esist
eri
sgoingtost
arthavi
ngsex.
"
"She'
snotli
tt
leanymore.Shenewst
ost ar
tli
ving
especi
all
yaftert
hatSt
hembisoguybrokeher.
"
"
Iknowbuti
t'
shar
d."
"
Nothi
ngi shard.Accepti
t.Oh.If
inal
lycancel
led
Nat
histherapy.
"
Hel
ooksatmeandbef
orenoddi
ng.
"
Nkosi
nat
hisawever
ythi
ng.
"
"
Sawwhat
?"
Hekeepsqui
etf
orawhi
le.Inot
icehi
seyesgl
aze
over
.
"
Hesawi
twhenIki
ll
edhi
smot
her
."
"
Wai
twhat
?"
Henodsandr
ubshi
seyes.Hel
if
tsmyheadand
get
sup.
"
Didy'
al
ltal
kabouti
t?"
Henodsandst andsupgoi ngtothebat hroom.I
fol
lowhim buthehaslockedthedoor .Ileanontoi
t
andsigh.Letmegivehim space.Itakemyphone
andmyFacebooki shavingadayatt hemar ket
.
"UnyeziKhuzwayoi scohabi t
ingwithanot her
woman' sman.Mysi sterleftwhenshet hreatened
her.Shet ur
nedmysi sterskidsagainstus.What
kindofwomanbasksi nanot herwoman' stears?
Sheact sallholycauseshei san'acti
vist'whileshe
i
sahomewr ecker.You' r
enotevenmar riedtot hat
manal readycl ai
mi nghi ssurname."
Sheeventaggedme.NtokozoMayezai
sher
accountname.Icomment.
"Ineversai
dIwasanact i
vist
.Futhiwhoar
eyou?
Stopbeingbit
terandactmatured.Umdal
afort
his.
"
Sher
epl
iescal
li
ngmenamesandIj
ustl
eavet
hem
there.Mi neandLangasmar r
iageandhowi twor
ks
i
sf orthebot hofus.I ncourtI'
m offici
allyhisand
tradit
ionall
y.Justbecausewedi dn'thaveahuge
weddi ngdoesn'tmeanwe' renotmar r
ied.Iscrol
l
downmynewsf eedandpeopl eareshar ingthat
postsayi ngI'
m agol ddigger.Oneevenwentasf ar
ascal li
ngmea' trophywi fe'
.Whyi sal lt
his
happeni ng?Thever ysameNt okozot aggedme
againbutwi thNoxol o,KuhleandTshego.
"They'reagroupofgolddigger
s.Theytarget
edthe
Khuzwayomensot heycancont hem.I
tcantbea
coincidencethatf
ri
endsaredatingagroupof
brothers.
"
Whatthefuckisthi
s?Iblockanddeleteherposts
anddeacti
vatemyFacebookaccount .Wedon' t
needthi
srightnow.Noxoloisi
nhospi t
al.Heck!My
dogjustdi
es.Langagetsoutwrappedi natowel?
"
Who'
sNt
okozoMayeza?
"
"
Bongekassi
ster
.Why?
"
"
Theonet
hatoncecal
led?
"
Henodsl
ooki
ngatme.Ishowhi
mthescr
eenshot
s.
"Whati
sthi
s?Imetyouaf
terBongeka.It
houghtI
pai
dheroff
."
Hetakeshi
sphoneanddi
alsbef
oreput
ti
ngi
tonhi
s
ear
.
"WhyisNtokozoharassi
ngmywife?!What?
!Why
am Ionl
yfindi
ngoutnowaboutthis?!Whyi
sshe
backinSA?!Argh!I
'
m coming!
"
Hedr
essesupi
nahast
e.
"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
"
I'
llbeback.
"
Hekissesmycheekandleaves.Whatthef
ucki
s
goi
ngon?Ihaveafeeli
ngsomeonei soutt
ogetus.

KUHLEKONKE
Bheki
khayawalksi
nlooki
ngti
red.Ihandhim acup
ofcof
feeandheadformyphone.Iscrol
lthr
ough
mytimeli
neandhandhim myphone.
"
Read.
"
Hel
ooksatmeconf
usedbef
orer
eadi
ng.Hecl
icks
hi
stonguebef
oret
ypi
ngonmyphoneandput
siti
n
hi
spocket.
"Who'
st hi
sNtokozo?She'
sbeenatusal
lmorning.
Unyezievendeacti
vat
edheraccount
.What
'sgoing
onBabakaSne? "
Hestandsupandrubshi
sface.Hepul
lsmet
ohi
m
andkissmyfor
ehead.
"Idon'
tknowMawakhe.I'mtr
yingtoconnectthe
dotshere.Thi
sseemsli
keadistract
ion.Somethi
ng
bigiscomingandbecauseofthatIhavetgoback."
"
Youhaven'
tsl
ept
."
"Iknow.I'
mt i
redbutIcan'
tsl
eepwhi
let
her
eis
dangerlur
king."
Inodandheki ssesmepassionatel
y.Ihoodonto
hi
mf ordearli
fe.Hepullbackandlayshisf
orehead
onminewi t
hhi seyescl
osed.
"
IloveyouPeach.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Hehol
dsmeti
ght
lyandwebot
hsi
gh.Amanda
wal
ksi
nwit
hacryi
ngSne.
"
Comeher
eKhuzwayoomncane.
",
Bheki
khaya
Amandahandshi
m Sneandheki
sseshi
m al
lover
hi
sfacecausi
nghi
mtogiggl
e.
"
Ihavet
otakeashowerandgoback.
"
Inodandt
akeSnef
rom hi
m.
"
Let
'sgobat
hbabyandcal
lSanel
e."
"
Sisi
.Ineedsomet
oil
etr
ies.
"
"Wr
it
eever yt
hingdownandgi
vei
ttoaguar
d
out
side.They'
llbr
ingi
t.
"
Shenodsanr unsupstair
s.Ilookformyphoneunt i
l
Ireal
iseBheki
khayahasit.Igoupst ai
rst
obaththis
l
it
tleone.IwantedtocheckuponUnyezi and
TshegoguessI'l
lcal
lthem lat
er.Ican'
tevengovisi
t
Noxolosincewe'r
enotallowedout si
de.

TSHEGO
"
Whyar
eyousost
ubbor
n?"
"
I'
m notst
ubborn.I
tscal
ledindependence.I
'
m not
wit
hyouforyourmoney.I'
m alr
eadybeingcall
eda
gol
ddi
gger
!"
"I
'
m nothavingthi
sconver sat
ionrightnow.Iletyou
haveyour'
independency'butIwon' thavemy
womanwor kingatarestaurant.You'reevenbehind
onyourschoolwork.Fucki tmahnMal udayou'
ve
l
ostweight
!"
"
Youknowwhat
?"
It
hrowmyhandsi
ntheai
randwal
kaway.
"
Segongi
sakhul
umanawe.
"(I
'
m st
il
ltal
kingt
oyou.
)
Ii
gnorehim andgotohisr
oom.Myphonebeeps
agai
nforthethousandt
hti
mesinceIwokeup.That
gi
rli
satitagain.
"Daughterofapedophi
leandrapi
st.I'
m sur
eyou
helpedyourdadtraf
fi
cthosechil
dren.
"
Whatswrongwit
hthisgi
rl
?Myf
oll
ower
sand
Facebookf
ri
endsdragher
.
"
Givemeyourphone.
"
Itur
naroundandKhul
ekanihashishandsi
nhis
pocketwi
thhi
sthumbsoutandthumpingonhis
j
eans.Ihandi
ttohi
m.Het akesi
tandreadsi
t
t
hroughandIseehi
shol
dti
ght
enar
oundi
t.
"
Babe.
"
Helooksatme.Ihol
dhi
shandandheeaseshi
s
gr
ip.
"I
t'
sokay.I
tdoesn'
taf
fectme.Nei
thershoul
ditt
o
you.
"
"
I'
llst
opt
hisbabyIswear
."
Inodandwr
apmyarmsar
oundhi
stor
so.Hel
ays
hi
schinonmyhead.
"
Iknowyouwi
ll
.Ihat
eitwhenwef
ight
."
"You'
retheonealwaysfight
ing.You'r
ealways
chall
engingmeandi tpi
ssesmeof f.Justaccept
mymoney.Idon'twor kmybut tof
fformywoman
toworkasawai t
ress.Dadalmostkill
edmewhen
hefoundout."
"
I'
mjustusedt
odoingsomething'
sonmyown.I
l
oveyouandnotyourwal
let
."
"
IknowbutI
'
dlovei
tifyou'
dspendmymoney.
"
"
I'
llt
ry.
"
Henodsandki
ssesmyheadbef
orepul
li
ngaway.
"
Ihavet
ogo.
"
"
Agai
n?"
"
Yes.I
fyouneedanyt
hingpl
easet
ellt
heguar
ds.
"
Inodandheki ssesme.Ir
ubatthestubbl
egrowi
ng
andfeeli
tscratchmyfi
ngert
ips.Isi
ghint
otheki
ss
andrel
axintohishol
d.

NKOSI
NATHI
Ihavebeenupsi nce05h00am andIhavebeenat
thegym since.MybodyisachingbutIkeepon
going.Igetofft
hetreadmi
llandgotakeabott
leof
water.Mom walksinandstandbythedoor.
"
Breakf
asti
sready.Ar
en'
tyouhungr
y?"
"
I'
llbet
her
emom.
"
Igul
pdownthewaterandadi
zzyspellhi
tsme.I
hol
dontot
hetabl
eandMom walksclosertome.
"
Boy?
"
"
I'
m..
.Ar
gh.
..Fi
ne.
"
Igetagr
ipofmysel
fandIst
andupr
ight
.Mom
l
ooksatmewithworry.
"Youdidn'
teatdinneryest
erday.Youdi
dn'
teat
breakf
ast.You'
reexhausti
ngyourbodywit
hall
theseexerci
ses.
"
"
You'
readoct
ornowhuh?
"
Shel
ooksatmeandIr
ubmyeyes.
"
Sor
rymom.Idi
dn'
tmeant
o."
Shecl i
ckshertongueandleaves.Itr
ywalkingaf
ter
herbutmybodyf ai
lsmeandIf allwi
thaloud
thump.Myvi si
onblursasIseebl ackspot
scloud
myvi si
on.Ihearrunni
ngfootstepsandmom' s
voice.
"
Ohmt
anam.
"(Mychi
ld.
)
If
eelmysl
efsl
ipi
ntounconsci
ousness.

NDABENKHULU
Ir
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om mybr
other
sint
hemor
ning
tel
li
ngmeaboutBongekassi
sterbei
ngbacki
ntown
andcyberbul
lyi
ngt
hegirl
s.
"Segoisgoi
ngt ogivemeahassl
ebef
orecomi
ng
here.
",Khul
ekani.
We'reatasafehouseinKwaNdongazi yaduma.Itsa
goodmi l
eawayf rom Durban.IhadNoxolobought
hereandhiredanurseanddoct or.She'
sgoingto
wakeupt omorrow.IdontknowwhatI 'l
lsaytoher
whensheseeksanswer sasIdon'thaveanyright
now.
"Idon'tcarehowtheygether
e.Dadisgoingtobe
stayi
ngi nthecott
agewithhi
swoman.We' l
lbe
occupyingt hi
shouse.I
tsbi
genohghforeveryone.I
spoket otheChiefandhewil
lmakesurenoone
entershisterr
it
orywit
houtbr
ief
ingus.
",It
ellt
hem.
"Ithi
nkNtokozoknowswhoor deredt hathiton
NoxoloandSanele.I
tcan'
tbeacoi ncidencethat
shecomesbackandherf atherthreatensusand
thanNoxologetsshot
."
,Bhekikhaya
"MaybebutwhatIdontgetiswhygoaf
terNoxol
o
andnotmyfamily.
",Langa.
"
Whati
fit
sNoxol
osex?
",Khul
ekani
.
"MaybebutIhavemyguysont
hei
nsi
dewat
chi
ng
hisever
ymove.",
Isay.
"Notever
yguyisonourpayr
oll
.Maybehehas
someonedoinghi
sdir
tyworkforhi
m."
,Bheki
khaya.
"
Payhi m avi
sit
.Somethi
ngistel
lingmet hathehas
Nkanyambainhiscorner
.WhatIdon' tgeti
s
Ntokozo.Wheredoesshefi
tin?"
,Langa.
Weal
lsi
tdownandwet
rymaki
ngsenseofat
his.
"
Cal
lthatSbusi
soguy.
",Khul
ekani
.
"
Why?
",Langa.
"Wealldontl
ikehi
m butheseemsl
ikehehasa
greatel
it
efor
ce."
,Khul
ekani
.
"
Idon'
thavehi
snumber
s."
,Isayhent
heyl
ookat
me.
IdobutI
'
m notcal
li
nghi
m.
"
Okayt
han.I
'
m cal
li
ngThando.
",Khul
ekani
.
Hedi
alshernumber
sandi
tri
ngsf
orawhi
le.
"
Hel
lo.
",t
heSbusi
soguyanswer
s.
Langar
oll
shi
seyesandmumbl
es.
"
Wher
eisThando?
",Khul
ekani
.
"Shei
spacki
ngf
ort
hatsaf
ehouseofyour
s."
,
Sbusi
so.
"
Givehert
hephone.
",Khul
ekani
.
Il
ookathi
m.Di
dn'
thesayhewant
edt
otal
ktot
his
guy?
"Y'
allr
eall
ythinky'
allarehidi
ngwherey'al
lat
?Just
becausey'al
linthemi ddl
eofmountainsdoesn'
t
meany' al
lunseen.
",Sbusiso.
Igest
urewithmyhandforKhul
ekanitogivet
he
phonetome.Hehandsitover
.Iputitof
f
l
oudspeakerandst
andup.Iwalkawayfrom t
he
guys.
"
Sbusi
so.Doyouval
uemysi
ster
ssaf
ety?
"
"
Yes.
"
"
Hel
pus.Bor
rowussomeofyourmen.
"
"
Thati
seasy.
"
"
Idon'tknowwhatyourst
oryi
swi
thmysi
sterbut
t
reatherli
keshe'
sanegg."
"Youdon' thavetoworryaboutyoursi
ster
.Just
causeIknowyourf at
herI'
m wil
li
ngtohelpyallout.
I'
llsendovermygeekguyandPI .Withyourt
eam
andmi necombinedI'
m surewe'l
lfi
ndwho'soutf or
y'all
."
,Sbusiso.
"
Thanksman.
"
Wedr
opt
hecallandIlookattheguys.Iwal
k
t
owar
dst
hem andstandinfrontoft
hem.
"
TellDadwe'
recomingover.Cal
lyourwomenand
t
ellt
hem t
opack."
,It
ellt
hem.
IhandKhul
ekanihi
sphoneandhenods.Il
eavet
o
checkonNoxol
oandshe'ssl
eepi
ngpeacef
ull
y.
"I
'
llbebackbabe.
"
Ikissherdr yli
psandherf orehead.Iwalkoutand
tellt
hedoct ortokeepagoodeyeonher .Ihaven'
t
sleptatallandIwon' tbeti
llwef i
ndoutwho' s
behindallthis.Theseleadspointstodif
ferent
places.Myphonepi ngsandIl ookatthemessage
f
rom Skhal
i.
"
Thehi
tmant
alked.
"
Ithr
owmyphoneatLangaandgr abmykeysas
theyreadt
hroughi
t.Weal
lgeti
ntoourcar
sraci
ng.

THANDO
Ipopmypi
ll
sanddri
nkwat
er.Il
ookatt
hebot
tl
eof
pi
ll
sandr
otat
eiti
nmyhand.
"
You'
redone?
"
Ij
umpi nshockandquickl
yshovethepil
lsi
nmy
suit
caseandzipi
t.It
urnaroundandgivehi
ma
ti
ghtsmil
e.
"
You'
reokay?
",heasks.
"
Yeah.Yeah.Uhm.
..Whenar
eyoul
eavi
ng?
"
Helaughsandwal
ksi
nsi
decl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
nd
hi
m.
"Thando.Ayearhaspassedandyou'r
estil
lrunni
ng
from me.Il
oveyou.Genuinel
y.Whatareyouso
scaredof?"
"Whati
fyoureali
seinthelongrunthatI'
m nott
he
oneyou'
rel
ookingfor?Plusyou'r
eolderthanme."
Hehol
dmywai
standr
ubsonmeusi
nghi
sthumbs.
"I
'
m notanol dman.I'
m oldenoughtoknowwhatI
want.I'
m oldenoughtoknowwhenandwi thto
sett
ledownwi th.I
'
m 7yearsoldert
hanyou.More
wiser.Inevert
houghtI
'dl
ovesomeoneasyoungas
youbutIdo. "
Il
ookdownandhel
if
tsmychi
nupwi
thhi
sindex
fi
nger
.
"I
'
m notgoingt
opressur
izeyouintodoinganyt
hing
you'
renotcomfor
tabl
ewith.Yourbrot
herswould
ki
llme.
"
Il
aughandhesmi les.Hedoesn' tl
ook30butwhen
hetal
ksyoucanhearf rom hiswordsthathi
s
matureandgrown.Hesl eptheretoni
ghtandhad
oneofhisguysbri
nghi m clot
hes.Wedidntsleep
onthesamebed.Het ookt hecouchcausehedi dn'
t
wanttosleepi
ntheguestr oom wherewe'l
lbe
separ
atedbyawall.
"
Sbusi
so.
"
"
Whatdi
dIdo?
"
"
Not
hingbutcanyoubepat
ientwi
thme.
"
"Ihavebeenf
orayearsomypat
ienceski
ll
sar
eon
steroi
ds.
"
"
Forayearandt
hanyoudeci
dedtojustwalki
nto
myhouseandst
ayoverwi
thoutconsent
."
Heshrugsandl
if
tmeupcausi
ngmet
oshr
iek.I
wrapmylegsar
oundhi
swaist
.
"
Youneededme.
"
Hesi
tsont
hebedIcanf
eel
hismanhoodunderme.
"
You'
rebeaut
if
ul.
"
Ismileandhepul l
smyheadcl osertohiswi t
hhand
behindmyhead.Hebr eat
hsandpartshislips.He
sucksonmyl owerl i
pandIfoll
owhi sl
eadsucki ng
hisupperli
p.Iuntanglemylegsaroundhim put
them oneit
hersideofhisthi
ghs.Hegr absmybut t
andlif
tsmeup.Ihavemyhandsonhi sbicepsand
they'
refl
exi
ngundermypal ms.Heturnsusar ound
andpullsout.
"
We'
renotgoi
ngt
odoanyt
hing.Okay?
"
Inodandhesmi
les.Hehel
psmeoutofmyT-
shi
rt
.
"
Fuck.
"
Her unshishandovermybr east
sandsqueezes
them.Het r ai
lswetki ssesfrom myneckandst ops
bymyboobski ssingt hem.Hesucksandl i
ckson
eachar eola.Hebl owsai ronmywetni pplesandI
squirm ast heyer ect.Hepul l
sdownmyspandex
shorts.I'
m star knakedi nfrontofhim andbel ooks
l
ikehi sseeinggol d.Hei sjuststandingthere
stari
ng.Itrycl osingmyl egsbuthehol dsthem
apart.Heliesbet weent hem andput smyl egs
betweenhi sar msandl ockst hem i
nandpul lsme
closertohi sface.
"
You'
resowet
."
Thevibrat
ionfrom hi
m speakingsocl
osetomy
vaginamakesmemoan.Hel et'
sgoofonel
egand
putsitonhisshoulder
.Hepar tmyvagi
nall
ipsand
histhumbr ubsme.
"
Mmmmh.
",Imoan.
Heinser
tsonef
ingerandhi
stonguecomesinto
cont
actwit
hmycl i
tandIar
chmybackslight
ly.I
've
neverhadsomeone'stonguedownt herenei
ther
haveIfel
tli
ket
his.Hef i
ngerpumpsi nsi
deofme
whil
ehesucksandgr azesmycl i
t.Hemakesa
comeheregesturewit
hhi sfi
ngerinsi
demeandI
l
iftmybuttupbuthedoesn'tstopsuckingonme.
"
Ozo!
"
Ishakeaswhatfeel
li
keaknotget sunti
edinmy
abdomen.Igobackdownbr eathi
ngheavil
yandmy
l
egsareshaki
ng.Het akesouthisfi
ngerandl
icksi
t
l
ookingatmeandImakeaf ace.
"
Yout
ast
egood.
"
Hetr
ieski
ssi
ngmebutIcovermyl
ips.Hel
aughs
andl
et'
smego.
"
Im comi
ng.
"
HestandupandInot i
cethebulgeinhispant
s.I si
t
moving?Hecat chesmest ari
ngandlaughs.He
walkstothebathroom andcomesbackwi that owel
andwi peme.Hegoesi ntothebathr
oom again.I
squealintomypill
ow.Thatwassoamazi ng.Iwear
myT- shir
tandfixthebed.Hisbeengoneforawhi l
e
butIdontdist
urbhi m.Iheart
heshowerrunning
andIheaddownst air
s.Itrycal
li
ngUnyeziagai
n
butherphoner i
ngsunanswered.Shesentme
screenshot
sinthemor ni
ngandt het
hingsthat
werewr i
tt
entherewerepatheti
c.Thi
siswhyIdon'
t
haveFacebook.IputmyphoneawayandImakeus
somesandwi ches.
55
UNYEZI
"
Ist
her
eel
ect
ri
cit
ydownher
e?"
"
YesUnyezi
."
Il
ookatt hebeaut i
fultr
eeswepass.Thisplaceis
beauti
ful.We'regoingtoa'saf
ehouse'wherewewi l
l
bestayingtil
lallt
hisblowsover.Nkosi
nathihas
beenasleept hewhol eway.Il
ookathim andhis
passedout .Asighescapesmyl ips.
"
He'
l
lbef
inebabe.
"
IlookatLangaandhesmil
es.Ihopehedoes.When
hef ai
ntedatt
hegym.Iwassoscared.Hej
ustlai
d
there.
"
Mama.
",Lami
.
"
YesLami
."
"
We'
rehungr
y."
"
Agai
n?"
"
Yesmama.
"
Igivethem thecontainerwit
hpizzasl i
ces.We've
beendr i
vingf or2hoursandweent eredthevill
age
afewmi nutesago.Nkanyeziissuckinghi st
humb
andhedoesn' twanttogetoverthathabit.Hestares
wideeyedf ill
edwithcuri
osit
yandi nnocenceatt he
passingt r
ees.
"
Sanel
eisyourhandokay?
"
"
YesAunt
ie.
"
"
Okayboy.
"
Weappr oachaverytallwall
.Isi
tupstrai
ghtas
Langadrivesinaf
tertheyopenthegate.Ther
eisa
bighousewi t
hacottageont hesi
de.Wegetoutof
thecarandtheguardst akeourbags.
"
Apool
!"
,Lami
.
Theyf
istbumpwi
thSanel
eandr
unt
owar
dsi
t.
Nkanyezif
oll
owsaf
tert
hem t
ri
ppi
ngher
eandt
her
e.
"
Stopr
unni
ng!
",
Ishoutaf
tert
hem.
Langacarr
iesNkosinat
hiint
othehouse.Iwat
ch
him ashel
ayshim onwhatwi l
lbehisbed.He
thr
owsaf l
eeceoverhim andstr
etcheshi
sarms.
"
Damnt
hatboyi
sheavy.
"
Il
aughandhej
oinsme.Il
eavethedoorhalfcl
osed
andwalkt
owhatwil
lbeourbedroom.Isi
tonthe
bedandbumponit.
"
Whenar
etheot
her
sar
ri
ving?
"
"Bhekikhayasai
dhe'llar
ri
vesoon.Khulekanii
s
delayedbyt r
aff
ic.Thandowasthelasttogetont
he
road."
Inodandst andupunpackingmybag.Langal eaves
met ogocheckont hekids.Ipackourcl
othesinto
thesmallcl
oset.Ifi
ndLangaout si
dewatchingthe
kidssi
twiththei
rfeeti
nwat er.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Hetur
nsaroundandlooksatme.Hehasaged
si
ncethi
swholedramastar
ter
.
"
Come.Ineedyourhel
p."
Henodsandf ol
lowsmeaft
ert
ell
ingaguardtokeep
aneyeonthekids.Whenwegeti
ntoourroom I
takeoutabl
anket.
"
Getont
hebed.
"
Hesit
sontopofit.It
akeouthi
sshoesandhel
p
hi
m outofhi
sjacket.
"
Sleep.
"
Heobl
igesandIt
hrowt
hebl
anketoverhi
m.
"
Sleep.I
'
llwakeyouupwhenever
yonehasar
ri
ved.
"
Henodsandyawns.Iat
tempttol
eavebuthepulls
metohim andmakesmegetinwit
hhim.Hel ays
hi
sbigheadonmyboobsandwest ayl
ikethatti
ll
hesl
eeps.

NOXOLO
Iwakeupt
opainsandfeel
ingdrowsy.Il
ookaround
andI'
minaroom wit
hmachinesconnectedtome.I
tr
ytaki
ngt
hem outbutr
eal
iseonlymyr i
ghthand
works.ACaucasianwomanwal
ksinandhur
ri
es
towardsme.Icanonlymovemyri
ghtl
egbutthe
otherfeel
sheavy.
"MrsKhuzwayoyou'
renott
omove.Letmehel
pyou
back.
"
Shehel
psmebackt
obedandput
sthebl
anketover
me.
"
Wher
eismyf
iancé?
"
"
Hisoutbuthesai
dIshoul
dcal
lhi
m whenyou
wakeup.
"
"
Whoar
eyou?
"
"I
'
m yourhi
redst
ayi
ndoct
or.I
'
m gl
adyou'
re
awake.
"
Shest
art
swr
it
ingst
uffdownandexami
ningme.
"Yourr
ibsseem t
obeheal
ingwel
l
.Justr
efr
ainf
rom
harshmovement."
"
Whathappenedt
omyr
ib?
"
"
Ithadal
it
tl
ecr
ack.Not
hingsever
ebutst
il
lpai
nful
."
Inodandshechangest
hebandagesonmeand
l
eavespushi
ngthemachi
nesout.Il
aymyhead
comfort
abl
yonthepi
ll
owandsigh.Shecomes
backandhandsmepainki
ll
ers.
"
MrKhuzwayowi
llbeher
ema'
am.
"
"
Wher
eismyson?
"
"
Hej
ustar
ri
ved.
"
"
Howi
she?
"
"Hehasabr
okenar
m buthehasasl
ingonso
ever
ythi
ngi
sgoi
ngwell
."
Inodandsheleaves.Icl
osemyeyesast
hepi
ll
s
star
twor
king.

THANDO
Sbusi
soistheonedri
vingmeandhekeepson
st
eali
ngglancesatme.
"
Ozo.
"
"
Mmmh?
"
"
Whati
sit
?"
"
Wit
hwhat
?"
"
Youkeepst
eal
inggl
ances.
"
"
It
'sj
ustt
hatyou'
resobeaut
if
ul.
"
Ismi
leandhechuckl
es.
"
Yourdi
mpl
esmakeyoul
ookl
ikeababy.
"
"
Idontl
ookl
ikeababy.
"
"
Ofcour
seyoudont
."
Webot henj oyeachother
spr esencei nsilence.He
i
sf ocusedont heroadnow.Af t
ermi nutesof
sil
enceIgetbor edandIclearmyt hroatandhe
doesn'tlookatme.Iam wear ingal eathermi niski
rt
withal ongsli
tinfront
.Il
if
titupabi thigherand
fakeacough.Het akesashortleftanddoesn' tpay
attent
iontome.
"
Haveyouseenmyhandbag?
"
"
It
satt
heback.
"
Ij
umpovertheseat
srubbi
ngmyassonhi sface.I
pret
endtol
ookformybag.Iopeni
tandtakeoutmy
phoneandwinegums.Ij
umpovertheseats
movi
ngmyassnearhi
sface.Isi
tdownandopen
mywinegums.Hel
ooksatmeandl aughs.
"
Whatdoyouwant
?"
"
Huh?
"
"You'
vebeent
ryi
ngt
ogr
abmyat
tent
ion.Whatdo
youwant?"
"
Not
hing.
"
Hepul
lsoveronamount
ainhi
llandl
ooksatme.
"
Comeher
e."
Ij
umpovert
ohisseatandsi
tont
opofhi
m.He
moveshi
schai
rback.
"
Whati
sit
?"
"
SinceIwi
llbewi
thmyf
ami
ly.Whenwi
llIseeyou?
"
"
Forsomeonewhodi dn'
twantanythingtodowi
th
meforayearyouseem tot
akealiking.
"
Isl
aphi
schestandhel
aughs.
"
Okaysor
ry.Iwoul
dvi
sitbutyourf
athermi
ghtki
ll
me.
"
"
Oh.
"
"
Butyou'
l
lseeme.
"
Inodandsneakmyhandsunderhi
sT-
shi
rt
.
"
Yourhandsar
ecol
d."
"
War
m meup.
"
Hesmi rksandki ssesme.Heput shishandsonmy
waistandmovesundermer ubbingourgr oi
ns
together.Hedi rectsmyhandi nsidehissweat sand
helpsmet akeouthi sthi
ckmanhood.Ir emember
him sayi ngsomet hingaboutbeingNi geri
anaswell.
Hedi rectsmyhandupanddownhi sfirm manhood.
Hest opshel pingmeoutandhi shandsneaks
i
nsidemypant y.Her ubsmycl i
tslowly.WhenI '
m
wetenoughhemakesmest opr ubbinghim and
makesmegr indonhi mi nst
ead.Thisf eel
ssogood.
"
Fuckbabe!
"
Ishakewithpl
easur
easIcum andhegrabsmybutt
harderashecums.Ilaymyheadonhi
schestand
l
augh.
"
Ican'
tbel
ieveIj
ustdi
dthati
nthemi
ddl
eof
nowher
e."
"
Thatwashott
hough.
"
"
Iwonderi
fsexi
sjustasgood.
"
"
You'
l
lfi
ndout
."
Hetakesoutat
issueandwi
peshi
mself
.It
akeout
wi
pesf r
om mybagandwipemysel
fcl
ean.
"
Youf
ine?
"
Inodandopenmywi
ndow.
"
Iloveyou.
"
Il
ookathi
m andhebl
owsaki
ssbef
oredr
ivi
ng.

AMANDA
UncleBhekikhayapar ksinsidethebigbeauti
ful
yard.Iam t
hef i
rsttogetof fwithSneinmyar ms.
Hissuchaf atbaby.Hei ssleepi
ngpeaceful
lyinmy
armsandIcan' tgetoverhi scuteness.Wefoll
ow
UncleBhekikhayai ntothehouseandhel eadsusto
ourrooms.Wedi dn'tseeanyonei nthel
oungesoI
guesstheyhaven' tarri
ved.Aswepassadoori t
opensr
eveal
ingast
il
lsl
eepyNkosi
nat
hi.
"Ahmshanaseni
khona.
"(Ohnephewy'
al
l
around.
),
Uncl
eBheki
.
Hegi veshi m hisr egularsidesmile.Hehas
changedsomuchi nayear .Hishairhasgrownand
i
scur lyandbeaut ifulthatIwanttor unmyhands
throughi t.Heevenhasgr ownoutagoatbear dand
amust achemaki nghi mlookmat ure.Hisheight
hasn'tchangedmucht houbuthi sphysiqueseems
fi
rmerandhi sshoul dersarebroader.Hestil
lhas
thatonebr acketthatiswi derthantheotherbutin
thosetr ackpant shi sbowl egsdon'tseem uneven.I
l
ookathi st r
unkandqui cklylookaway.
"
Letmehol
dhi
m."
,hesaysnear
ingme.
Hi
svoiceishoarsefrom waki
ngupandan
i
nvol
untar
yshivertravel
sdownmyspine.Ihol
dout
t
hesleepi
ngbabyt ohim andhet
akeshi
m outof
myholdgentl
ymaki ngsurenott
owakehim up.
"You'l
lchoosearoom Amanda.Iwanttounpack
quickl
y.Putmykidbacktosleepaf
tercuddl
ing
him.",
SisiKuhl
e.
Inodanddr agmysui tcasethatisnexttot hewal l
andchooseanempt yroom nexttoNat his.Neut r
al
colourshasbeenusedandi tlooksspaci ous.Itake
aseatont hebedandt akeoutmysneaker ssi ghi
ng
ti
redly.SnekeptmeandSi siupal lni
ght.Hi sbeen
restl
essal otl
atelyasifhecanf eelthewei ghtwe
carryaround.Al oudcryemitsfrom thenextr oom.I
dragmyt i
redasst oNathisroom.Hi str
yingt o
shusht heawakeSnebuti sfail
ingcausehi s
shushingwayt ool oudandispaci ngwayt oof ast.
"
Letme.
"
Hehandshert omeandIavoidhiseyes.IputSne
onmychestandpacear oundsoothi
ngly.Hiscr
ies
subsideandhestar
tssnori
ngli
ghtl
y.Asi ghofr
eli
ef
escapesmylips.
"
You'
dmakeagoodmom.
",Nkosi
nat
hi.
Il
ookathi
m andsmi
lewhi
leshr
uggi
ng.
"
Letmet
akehi
mtoSi
si.
",Iwhi
sper
.
HenodsandIexi thisroom andexhaleassoonasI
stopbei
ngsurroundedbyhi scol
ogne.Hest i
ll
hasn'
tchangedit.IknockonSisi
sr oom andshe
answer
.
"
Ent
er.Layhi
minhi
scotf
ormepl
ease.
"
Il
ayhim gentl
yandheholdsont
omyshi
rtwi
tht
hat
babygr
ip.Sisihel
psunt
ight
enhi
shol
dandIl
ayhim
down.
"
Thanksf
orhel
pingwi
thhi
m."
"Youstr
uggl
edal
onewhi
leIwasatschool
.You'
ve
beentheref
ormeal
lmyl
ifet
hisi
sthebestIcan
do."
Shesmi lesandkissesmycheekandIl eaveher
room.Iheadt othekitchenandIfi
ndNathiwipi
ng
vigorouslyathi
svest.Heclickshi
stonguetaki
ngi
t
off.Ishuffl
eandleave.
"
Amanda.
"
It
urnar
oundsl
owlyandhi
sgazeisi
ntense.I
gl
anceatmyhandsandhenear
sme.
"
Whyar
ewesodi
stant
?"
Idon'tanswerbutshrugmyshoulder
sinst
eadand
hesighs.Wehearf ootst
epsappr
oachi
ngandI
moveawayf r
om himt othef
ri
dge.Heremai
ns
st
andi
ngt
her
eshi
rt
less.
"
You'reupal
ready?Howar
eyouf
eel
ingnow?
",Aunt
Unyezi.
"
I'
m okaymom.St
opwor
ryi
ngt
oomuch.
",
Nkosi
nathi
.
Heki
sseshismothersforeheadandsheembraces
hi
m.I'
veneverseenhim soaffect
ionat
eandsoraw.
"
OhheyAmanda.You'
resogr
ownup.
",
AuntUnyezi
.
SheleavesNkosi
nat
hiandhugsmeexcit
edl
y.She
grabsabott
leofwat
erandanappleandl
eaves
l
eavingmewi t
hashir
tl
essNkosi
nathi
.
"
Wantasandwi
ch?
"
"
Please.
"
Ismil
eandl ayoutthei
ngr edient
soutonthe
count
er.Icutoutthecrustandaddmor echeese
wit
houtpolonyforhim.Islidehispl
atet
ohim and
hesmiles.
"
Youst
il
lremember
?"
"
Always.
"
Hetakesabit
eandgroans.Hest
il
lappreci
ates
f
ood.Hechewssoelegantl
yandhisjawli
nemove.
Heswallows
"I
t'
sbeenayearsincewel
astt
alked.I
'
vemi
ssed
you.
",
hesaysmil
ing.
"
Yeah.Al
othaschanged.
"
Isayl
ooki
ngathi
m upanddownandhechuckl
es.
"
Eish.I
'
vebeent
aki
ngcar
eofmysel
f.
"
"
Icansee.
"
"
Youchangedaswel l
.Yourassismorerounderand
f
ir
mer.Yourt
highs.Actual
lyyouingener
al.
"
Hel
ickshi
sli
psandIl
aughpushi
nghi
m pl
ayf
ull
y.
"
Areyouokaynow?
"
Helooksatmeandhi sjawti
cks.Heshr
ugsand
eat
shi ssandwich.I
'l
ltaket
hatasano.Hesti
llhas
unresol
vedissues.Ieatmyownsandwichashis
auntwalksin.
"
Zit
handwa.
"(Loves)
"
AuntThando.
",wegr
eetsi
mul
taneousl
y.
Shesmi l
esandwalkspastus.Shei
ssobeaut
if
ul
andreeksconf
idence.

TSHEGO
We' r
ei nt r
afficanditsmovi ngveryslowly.We'
re
si
t t
ingi nsilence.Iopenthewi ndowf orsomef r
esh
airandIwi pet hesweatof fmyfor ehead.I
t'
s
scor chinghotandwe' removingr eall
yslow.What
hadcausedt histraf
fi
c?Wecan' tevenseewi thye
l
ineofcar si nfrontofus.Iuncli
pmybr aandsli
deit
offst i
llinmyT- shi
rt
.Khulekanilooksatmeand
shakeshi shead.
"
What
?It
'
shot
."
"
Theski
lly'
al
lwomenpossesst
odot
hati
npubl
ic.
"
"
Ngeyeke.
"(Leavemeal
one)
"
YousuchatZul
ukodwast
handwasami
."
Il
ovei
twenhespeakshishomel
anguage.I
tsl
ike
i
smoremanl
yanddomi nant
.
"
Ngeyazama.
"(I
'
mtr
ying.
)
"
Ngempel af
uthingiyat
handamowukhul
uma
i
siZul
u."(
ForrealandIlovei
twhenyouspeakZul
u.)
"
Kao'
rat
a."
(Il
oveyou.
)
Helooksatmeandsmi
lest
hatdashi
nggoof
ysmi
le
ofhi
s.
"
Namingi
yakur
ata.
"(Il
oveyout
oo.
)
Igigglelikeat eenagegi r
landhesmi les.Itakea
bottl
eofwat erandgul pitdowneveni fitisjotas
coldasi twaswhenweboughti t.Thecari nf r
ontof
usmovesandwef oll
ow.Itcomest oahal tcausing
Khulekanit ohitthebr akesandIjerkforwar dand
thanbackspi ll
ingthewat eronmywhi t
eT- shi
rtand
myj eans.Isi ghandt rywipingi
tof ff
aili
ng
massi vely.Abr eezepassesandIshi veratt he
sensat i
oni tsendst hr
oughoutast hewetf abric
caressesmyni ppl
es.
"
Whati
sthi
sguydoi
ng?
!Ar
eyouoka-
"
Hi
seyestr
avelt
omyboobst hatar
evi
abl
ethr
ough
t
hewetshi
rtandli
ckshi
sli
ps.
"
Ispi
ltwat
eronmysel
f.
"
"Isee.
..
erhm..
.Bengabeasi
khol
angabe
ngiyabhebha.
"(I
fweweren'
ther
edI
'dbefucki
ng
you.)
Idon'
twhathejustsai
dbutIknowi
tsnast
ybyt
he
useofthel
astword.
"
Takeofft
hatt
eeandtakemi
ne.You'
l
lst
ret
chi
t
wit
hyourbi
gboobst
hou."
HemakesasulkingfaceandIl
augh.Hepull
sit
overhi
sheadandhandsittome.Itakei
tandthank
hi
m andtakeof
fmi ne.
"
You'
reki
ll
ingmeher
eMaThengo.
"
"
Sor
ry?
"
"
Mxm.
"
Il
aughandputi
ton.
"
Wai
t.
"
Istoppul l
ingitdownandhestretchesovertomy
seatandgr absmyboobsandki ssesthem than
pull
inghisteedownwi l
lmytorso.Hesitsbackand
smilesandget sbacktot
hesteeri
ngwheel .Ismil
e
andl ookoutthewindowaswemovesl owlywith
t
het
raf
fi
c.

NDABENKHULU
Igotacallfrom thedoctorthatNooloisupanhour
agoandIj ustparkedoutsidethehouse.Iwal ki
n
andthegirlsareandt heli
ttl
eonesar esit
ti
ng
chatt
ingandl aughinginthelounge.Igreetand
Sanelehugsme.Ihughi m back.
"
You'
reokay?
"
"
YesDad.
"
If
eelever
yoneseyesonusandIst
andup.
"
Yourmom i
sup.Let
'sgocheckonher
."
Ever
yonest
andsup.
"
What
?When?
",Kuhl
ekonke.
"
Canweseeher
?",
Unyezi
.
"
Issheal
ri
ght
?",
Thando.
"
Ohmygosh!
",
Amanda.
"
I'
llgocheckonherandi
fshesal
ri
ghtt
hany'
al
lcan
seeher
."
Theynodandsitdownsti
llbuzzedandexci t
edyet
worri
ed.MeandSaneleheadtoherr oom andevery
stepItakef
eel
sheavyandloud.Myhear tisbeat
ing
outofmychestasItur
nthedoor knobwithsweaty
hands.
"
Opent
hedoorBaba.
"
Il
ookatSanel
eandhenodst
owardst
hedoor
.I
openitsl
owl
yandwearemetbyt
hedoct
orpacki
ng
herbag.
"
MrKhuzwayoandson.
",
shesmi
lesatus.
Inodatherandlookbehi
ndherbutt
hebedi
s
empty.Shenot
icesmygaze.
"
MrsKhuzwayoi
sint
het
oil
et.
"
"
Isshef
ine?
",Sanel
e.
"Yes.Shehast otakehermedi cation.Avoidany
drasti
cmovement .Shehasapr obl em withwalking
duetot heinj
uryonhert hi
ghbutot herthanthat
she'l
lbef i
ne.Herslingisadjust
edandherr i
bswi l
l
healasl ongasshedr inksherpil
ls.Makesur et o
cal
lmei
fy'
al
lneedanyt
hing.
"
"
ThankyouKat
her
ine.
"
"
Pleasur
eBoss.
"
Sheleavesandthebathr
oom dooropensreveali
ng
mylimpingwifewit
hacrutchinherhand.Iquickl
y
runovertohertohel
pherout.Ihel
phersitdown
andlayonthebed.
"
You'
recomf
ort
abl
e?"
Shenodsandsmi l
esatSanele.Her ubst
oherand
hugsheronhergoodsi dewit
hhi sgoodside.They
can'
tevengiveeachot hert
heirbearhugs.Thisis
al
lmyf aul
t.Ishoul
d'veuppedt hei
rsecur
ity.
SHORTSOMETHI
NG
(
I'
llseey'
al
ltomor
row.
)
NARRATED
Everyonehadwokenupandset tl
edont hetable.
Therewaschatterandthesoundofut ensil
s.They
swallowedthedivi
nebreakfastcour
tesyofthe
youngchef.Kuhlekonkeproudofhersistershe
ki
ssedhercheekwhenshebentnearhert otake
l
ittl
eSi nenhl anhlaf rom her .Nkosi nat hi'
sgaze
resteduponAmandaasshehel dt heyoungchi l
di n
herar mswhi l
esheor deredt heyoungboyswhosat
onat ablef orkidst oeat .Hecoul dn'thel pbut
wonderi fshewoul d'vegot tenpr egnanthadhenot
givenhert hatmor ni ngaf terpi l
l.She' dmakeagr eat
mot her .Amandast eal sagl anceatNkosi nathias
heshakeshi sheadl ight l
ytryingt ocl earawayhi s
strayt hought s.Hehadl ostt hef emi ni nelookt hat
shel ovedandhel ookedmascul i
neandnot18.Hi s
shoul der smor ebr oadandhi saur amor e
i
nt i
mi dat ing.HemaynotbeaKhuzwayobybl ood
buthei soneoft hem.Herhear tt ugsather
hypot hal amuspl ayingwi thheremot ions.They
couldneverbe.Shel ookedar oundt het abl
easher
newf ami lypr iortohersi sterandhernewl oveand
shesmi l
ed.Hersmi l
ef adedassher ealisedthat
Nkosi nat hiwasf ami lynow.Shequi ckl ylooked
awayasast raytearescapedheral readymoi st
eyesandsheescapedt her oom f ullofl aughter
unnot icedwi t
hhernephewi nherar ms.Backi nt he
dinningr oom t hef ami lylaughedandwonder edwho
hadt hei rf atherboughtandwer eeagert omeether .
Inthecott
ageawomanpacedar
oundcausi
ngt
he
cryst
alsonherneckt
orat
tl
e.
"
Dearst
opwor
ryi
ng.
"
Shegotst artl
edbyt hef amil
iarvoiceofherl over
andshewi pedhersweat yhandsonhert i
ghtf aded
bluej eans.Shecal l
edt hoseherluckyj eansshe
receivedf rom hersi st
erwhohadpassedon.She
wor et hesever ysamej eanswhenshemett hel ove
ofherl i
fe.Het ookherhandsi nhisandki ssedt hem
l
ightly.Shewasanxi ousandhert hought skepton
gettingt hebestofher .Shewasj usta27yearol d
doct orwhowasdat i
ngamant wiceherage.Soci ety
wasn' twhatshewor ri
edaboutbutt hepeopl e
acrosst heircottagecoul dacceptorcastherout .
Shewasaspi rit
ualper sonandhadt hespiri
tofan
oldsoulandt hatisther easonbehi ndherhistoryof
datingpeopl eolderthanherbutneverasol dasher
l
over .
"
Khuzwayowhati
fyourchi
ldr
endon'
tli
keme?
"
Themanwhoagedlikef
inewi
nesmiledreveal
ing
hi
sdimpl
esandpeckedherbr
uisedl
ipst
hatshe
hadbeenbi
ti
ngal
lmor
ning.
"
Trustme.They'
l
lloveyou.
"
Hest ret
cheshi svei nybi ghandt owar dsherand
sheputhersmal lhandandhewr appedhi sthi ck
roughyetsof tfi
nger sar ounditandmadeherst and
up.Hef ixedhercr ystalandkissedherpassi onat ely
arousi nghercausi ngasof tmoanofdesi reto
escapehercapt ur edlips.Theypul lapartandshe
l
ooksathi m.Hel ookedmor egor geousandf itthan
allthemenshe' sbeenwi t
h.Hisf acialexpr ession
remai nedst oi
cbuthi seyeswer et enderandcar ing.
Shehel dontohi sf r
ameandhewr appedhi s
muscul ararmsar oundhersni f
finghervani l
laand
l
avenderscentf rom herscent edst i
cksshebur ntall
thet ime.Hecl osedhi seyesandi nhaledt han
exhal ed.Hehadt houghthewasunabl et oloveaf t
er
hiswi fehaddi ed.Whenhemetherasshehel peda
youngmanwhohadbeenhi tbyacarbr eakinghi s
l
eg.Hef el
tli
ket her ewasamagnet i
cforcepul li
ng
them t ogetherandhel ikedhowhi shear trate
qui ckenedasshel ookedathi m ashel i
ftedt he
i
nj uredyoungmani nhisarmshel pinghi mi ntohi s
car.Sher odewi ththem t oherpr act
icewher eshe
hadexami nedt heyoungst rangerandhadt hanked
him.Assoonast heirhandst ouchedheknewhe
wasgoi ngt omakeherhi s.Hehadgot tenasecond
chanceatl oveandheappr eciatedi tever yday.They
walkedoutoft hei rcottageandever yst ept he
womant ookf eltheavyanddel ayed.Herhear tfelt
asifshe' llpukei t.Hercr ystalssuddenl ybecame
heavyandt hecl atteri
tmadeast heyhi tanother
wasmaki ngherdi zzy.Shecoul df eelherar mpi ts
sti
ngasherner veswer ehaywi re.Hert hickaf ro
mat t
edt oherf aceasshesweat ed.Whent hedoor
wasopenedandshest oodi nf rontofat ablef ullof
beautifulst r
anger s.Shef eltaheavyl oadof
energiessur get hroughher .Happi ness
overpower edmostbutonecaughtherof fguar d.
Fear.Shel ookedatt heyoungmanwhoat ewi thout
conversi ngwi tht heot hers.Ayounggi rlentered
withababyi nherar msandbyt her ednessand
puffi
nessofhereyesshehadbeencr ying.Thet wo
youngst er sshar edal ookandt hel ovewasso
i
ntenseshegotaheadache.
"
Sani
bonani
."(
Hel
lo.
)
Sher emovedhergazefrom t
hetwothatl
ovedeach
otherbutuncer
tai
ntyandfearhel
dthem back.
Aren'tt
heyfamil
y?Butthei
rlovewassopure,she
thought
Thecl
att
erquiet
eneddownt
het
abl
easever
yone
l
ookedatthem.
"Nal
edyPhosa?Khari
shma?
",Unyezi
excl
aimed
happi
lyandshocked.
Thenoi sestar
tedastheyallst
artedaskingherwho
shewasandhowsheknowsher .Theladystood
sti
llconfusedastohowt heyoungl adyknewher.
Somethingshor
tfory'
al
l.I
'
m sol
azyi
tsnoteven
funny.

56
UNYEZI
"
She'saseer.Nudi
st.Shegivesdream
i
nter
pretat
ionsonl
ineandconsult
sonlinetoo.She'
s
adoctorst
udyingf
ilm pr
oducti
on.Omg! "
Iwasver yecst ati
cofmeet i
ng' GogoKhar ishma' as
she'sknownt hatIonlyr
ealizedshe'sMkhul us
gir
lfri
endwhent heymovedt owardsthet able.She
hadpost edabouther52yearol dboyfri
endbutI
nevert houghti t'
dbesomeoneIknewl etal onemy
fat
heri nl aw.Weal lkeptquietandl ookedatt he
couple.Sur prisingl
ytheylookedgoodt oget her.
Mkhul uwasn' tyourtypi
caloldmanwi thabel lyand
wrinkledf ace.Hewasact uallyhandsomel yol dwi t
h
agr eatphysi que.Hehashi sar m aroundhersmal l
waist.Mkhul uopensherchai r
.
"
Thankyou.
",hervoi
cei
ssosmoot
h.
Mkhulutakeshisseatandshedi
shesupforhi
m.
Langaleanstowardsmeandwhispers.
"
Poorme.Ihavet
odi
shupf
ormysel
f.
"
Iki
ckhi
m undert
hetabl
eandhegrunt
s.Noonehas
sai
dawordandit'
sstar
ti
ngt
ogetawkward.
"Ohsoyout heonethatwasmoani
ngatDad'
s
house.
",Khulekani
.
Weallf
acepalm andTshegosl
apshi
shead.
Khul
ekanisayst
hemostdumbestshi
tsometi
mes.
Mkhuluthr
owsKhulekaniwhi
leNal
edyl
aughs.At
l
eastshefoundi
tfunny.
"Ki
dst
hisi
sNaledyKhar
ishmaPhosa.She'
sthe
onewhohasbeenkeepi
ngmebusy."
"
HiNal
edy/Hey/You'
rebeaut
if
ul.
",wegr
eet
.
"
Sodowecal
lhermom?
",Khul
ekani
.
Herecei
vesaheadsl
apf
rom Bheki
khayat
hist
ime
ar
ound.
"
Khul
ekanit
hul
a."
,Ndabenkhul
u.
Khul
ekanigest
uresazipoverhismouthandt
hrows
awaythekey.Tshegoshakesherhead.
"Si
yaj
abulaukukwaziSi
si.Ngicel
aukubhuza
uneminyakaemingaphi
?"(Wehappyt oknowyou.
CanIaskhowol dareyou?),
Ndabenkhul
u.
"
27.
",Nal
edy.
Khul
ekanichokesonhi
sjui
ceandcoughs.
"
What
?",
Khul
ekani
.
"
I'
m 27year
sol
d."
,Nal
edy.
Sheremovesheraf rooutofherfaceandbl i
nks.
Sheismor ebeauti
fuli
nreall
ife.Herbir
thmarkthat
fi
ll
shalfofherfaceisshapedliketheAfri
can
conti
nent.If
eelsostarstr
uckr i
ghtnow.
"
Likeyou'
re27?2and7?
",Khul
ekani
.
Hi
smaki
ngherabi
tuncomf
ort
abl
e.
"
Yes.
"
"
Wow.
"
Ndabenkhulustandsupandwal ksout.Hi
sbrother
s
fol
lowhim andThandof ol
lowsthem when
Khulekanit
oucheshershoulderwhenhepasses
her.Mkhulutr
iesstandi
ngupbutsheput sherhand
onhisshakingherhead.Nowt hi
sisawkward.
"
AreyouTswana?
",Noxol
o.
"
No.I
'
m PediandI
ndi
an.
",
Nal
edy.
"
YourZul
uissof
ine.
",Tshego.
"
I'
vebeeni
nKZNf
orawhi
le.
",
Nal
edy.
"
Ican'
tbel
ieveI
'
m meet
ingyoui
nreal
."
,Isay.
Shesmi
lesandmakeseyecont
actandcl
osesher
eyest
ight
ly.
"
Whyar
eyousoangr
y?"
,Nal
edy.
Herquesti
oncat chesmeoffguar
dandIst
utterfor
awhil
e.Sher eachesformyhandandIqui
cklypull
i
tback.Istandupandpi ckupmyplat
eandleave.I
hol
dontothesi nkandexhale.
"
I'
m sor
ryImadeyouuncomf
ort
abl
e."
Ij
umpatt hesoundofhervoi
ceandt
urnar
ound.
Sheisstandi
nginthedoor
wayandshehasher
handsinherpocket
s.
"Yoursoulisr est
less.You'
reangr y.You' vegot ten
sogoodatf akinghappinessthatyou' rest ar
tingt o
believeit
.Youhaveunanswer edquest i
ons.You' ve
turnedyourbackonyourancest ors.You' vestopped
praying.You'reangryatGod.Yourhear tstil
lbleeds
from thelossofyourchi l
d.Yourt rustiswaver i
ng
afteryourhusbandcheat ed.Youst il
ldream ofyour
rapeencount er.Youmayhi dei twel lf
rom ot hers
butyourspi ri
tisaskingforhelp.Pr ay.Cry.For give.
For gi
veyourselfforholdi
ngyour selfbackwi th
hatredandanger .
"
Shewalksoutl eavi
ngmewi t
hat humpinghear t
andintear
s.Iwal ktomytemporarybedroom and
assoonasIcl osethedoorIsl
idedownt hedoor .I
l
aymyheadonmyknees.Thef i
rstsobescapesmy
qui
veri
nglips.Iclosemyeyesast hefl
ashbacksof
whenIlostmydaught ercomesback.Itsti
llhaunts
me.
"
Shedi
dn'
tmakei
t.
"
Ihol
dmyt
ummyasIf
eel
li
kemywombi
sagape.
"
You'
l
lal
waysbemysl
ut!
"
Iholdmystomachtighterasi
tfeel
sli
keIcanf
eel
them f
orci
ngthemselvesinme.
"
Isawt
hem ki
ssi
ngatt
hegar
age.Hi
scheat
ing.
"
IchokeasobandIlayont hecol
dti
ledfl
oor.Tear
s
str
eam downf
reel
ywet ti
ngmycheeksandIwi pe
snotfr
om mynose.Ifeelt
hedoorbeingpushed.
"
Unyezi
."
Langasvoi
cemakesmecr
ylouder
.
"
Areyouokay?
"
"
Goaway!
"
"
I'
m goi
ngt
oopent
hedoorsl
owl
y."
Hepushesi
tpushingmeal
ongwit
hit.Hepeeps
andseesmelayi
ngther
eandhekneelsdownnext
tome.
"
What
'swr
ong?I
'
m sor
ryi
fIdi
dsomet
hing.
"
Helif
tsmei ntohisar msandIwantt opuke.Whati
f
heheldherlikethis?Whati fheheldhesocloset
o
him?Icryhar derpushinghim away.Heholdsme
ti
ghtregar
dlesst i
llIgett
ir
edandcr yinhi
sarms.
"
Ihat
eyou.
"
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
Hei
sjustapol
ogi
zingandhedoesn'
tknowf
orwhat
!
I
mbeci
le!
"
Ihat
eyou!Iwi
shyoucoul
dvani
sh!
"
"
Iknow.Il
oveyout
oo.
"
Hel aysmyheadonhi schestandcuddlesme.Why
didmom havet oabandonme?Iwoul dn'thavebeen
raped!Iwoul
d'veknewaboutmyr oot
sandgi f
t
ear
li
erandwoul
d'veneverl
ostmychi
ld.

NDABENKHULU
"
It
'sbl
asphemy!
",Ishout
.
"Idon'tgetwhyyou' resopi ssedoff?I'
veneverseen
Dadsohappyaf termom' sdeath.Hewasnevert he
same.Eversi nceshecamei ntohisli
feI'
vebeen
seeingadi fference.Hesmi lesmore.Heck!Heeven
callsandchecksuponus!Dadst oppeddoingthat
whenMom di ed!Hi sfocuswasoursaf et
yand
financialstat e.Het hrewmoneyourway!Hewor ked
hisassof ftogetusher e.Hekill
ed!Hemani pul
ated.
Het ookt hebl ame.Justsowecangr owupand
havesomet hingt ostandon.St opbeing
j
udgement al.",Khulekani.
"Bafo.I'
m withKhulekanionthi
sone.Mysonwho' s
18sl eptwitha25yearol dwomanandmanymi ght
j
udgeandcal litt
aboobuthis18andheknows
whathi sdoing.Ifhewas15Iwoul d'
veopeneda
caseagai nstthewomanevent houghheini
ti
atedit
.
IfIhadj udgedhim andcastastoneathi
m asifI
wasinnocentthanI'
dbeahypocr i
te.Ihaveason
whot hi
nkssexhealsemotionalpainandI '
m
deal
ingwiththatri
ghtnow.Ican'tbewor ryi
ng
aboutDadandhi srel
ati
onship.Thatwomani sold
enoughtoknowwhat 'sshe'
sdoi ng.Ift
heylove
eachotherthanIam notgoingtobest andingin
thei
rway."
,Langa.
Hest
andsupandl
eavesus.
"
Dadis52.She'
s27.Can'
ty'
al
lseeanyt
hingwr
ong
wit
hthat
?!"
"WedoBaf o.I
tsnoneofourbusinessthou.It
doesn'tsitwellwi
thmeeitherbuti
ftherelat
ionshi
p
i
spur ethanI '
m notagai
nstit
.Daddeservestobe
happy.",Bheki
khaya.
"She'
s27bafo.I
tsgoi
ngt
oseem l
ikeBabai
sa
paedophi
le.
"
"I'
m dati
nga30yearol dmanwhi leI'
m 21.Idon't
seetheagegapwhenI 'm withhi m.Her espect
sme.
Maybet hat
'sallshe'
slookingf or.Respectand
someonewi se.Someoneol derwhoknowswher e
theystandi
nl i
fe.Youhavet ofindthepersonthat
shotyourwi
feandstopst
icki
ngyournosewhere
i
t'
snotneeded.FocusonNoxoloandSanel
e."
,
Thando.
Shest andsupf ur
iouslyandexitsbangingthedoor .
Weal lsitsi
lence.Itlookssowr ong.Whatifshe'sa
golddigger?Justl ookingforaneasymealt icket.I
rubmyf aceandsi gh.She'sadoct orsoIguessher
beingagol ddiggerwi llwai
t.Khulekanibust
si n
l
aught er.Bhekikhayaf acepal
msandshakeshi s
head.
"
Usi
nekani
?"(
whatar
eyoul
aughi
ngat
?)
"
HehNkosisl
eptwi
tha27yearol
d!"
,Khul
ekani
.
"
That
'
snotf
unny.
",
Bheki
khaya
"IknowbutIcan'
tbel
ievehowt
hatki
dtookaf
ter
you.",
Khul
ekani
.
Bhekikhayaclickshistongueandslapshisheadon
hi
swayout .Khulekaniisanidi
ot.Bheki
khayadi
d
haveat hingforolderwomenwhenhewasi n
universi
ty.
"
Letmegof
ini
shbr
eakf
ast
."
Ist
andupandKhul
ekanif
oll
ows.Heput
shi
shand
onmyshoul
der
.
"Mom i
sproudofBabaar eshei
s.Hegavel
ove
anot
herchance.
",Khul
ekani
.
Heleavesmestandinghere.Maybeshewasthe
l
ightattheendoft
het unnelf
orDad.Maybe.

NOXOLO
Khulekani
,Bheki
khayaandNdabenkhul
uwal
ked
backinandtooktheirseat
s.
"
Doy'
al
lpl
anonmar
ryi
ng?
",Ndabenkhul
u.
Thetwoloverslookedateachotherandbot
h
nodded.Ndabenkhuluranhishandoverhi
shead
andsighedloudly.
"WhathappenedDad?Doyour eali
zet
heeffectt
his
coul
dhaveonourpr ofil
e?You'
l
llookl
ikea
paedophi
le.
",Ndabenkhulu.
"I
'
m 27andIam rat
ional.Iam notfor
cedtobewith
yourf
ather
.Il
ovehim andhel ovesme."
,Naledy.
"Ndodana.Idon'tcareaboutprof
il
e.Thisisformy
happiness.Ithoughtyou'
dbehappyf ormeasmy
sonandmaybemyhappi nesswouldcomef i
rstt
o
youasi titdoestome.IloveNaledyandifmyel der
sonwon' tsupportmyr el
ati
onshi
pthanI'm sadto
saythatyou'dratherdi
sownme. ",
Khuzwayo.
Hestoodupabr
uptl
ycausinghi
schairt
ofallonthe
gr
ound.Heexi
tsandleavesussi
tt
ingwit
htension.
"You'llneverseeanyot herwomanenoughf oryour
fat
herexceptyourmot herandnotonl yareyou
maki nghi m unhappybutyourmot heraswel l
.You
thi
nkshe' stheonl ywomanf i
tforyourfather.Thi
s
maysoundi nsensi
ti
vebutsoar eyou.Yourmot her
willneverwakeup.St opholdi
ngont oher .Sheis
dead.Letherr est
.Stopimaginingyourf atherwit
ha
ghost ."
,Naledy.
Shestoodupandlef
tfol
lowi
ngherman.Ishookmy
headasbri
ghtsuneyesmetmine.
"
You'rebeingsel
fi
sh.Youfal
lundersoci
etyand
t
heirviews.Thel
eastyoucoul
ddoi ssupportyour
f
ather.
"
Hef
rownedatmywor
ds.
"Mymot hermustbet
urni
ngi
nhergr
ave.
",hesays
pissed.
"
IfIhadasonact
ingl
ikeyouIwoul
dtoo.
"
Khul ekanicl
earedhisthroatandTshegoputher
handoverhi smout h.Henodsatherandshel et'
s
goofhi smouthslowly.Itr
ystandi
ngupbutmy
cl
ut chsl i
psandIfallonmybr okenarm whenIt r
y
balancingmysel fwithitf
orget
ti
ngitsi
nactive.Acry
ofpai nescapedmyl i
psaspainshootsthroughmy
arm.
"
Fuck!Babe!
"
Ndabenkhului
squi
ckt opi
ckmeupbr i
dalst
yle.
Everyonei
sonthei
rfeetandSanel
ecomesrunning
i
nf oll
owedbyLami
,AmandaandNkosinathi
.
"
Mama!
",Sanel
e.
Hepicksupmycr ut
chandfol
lowsbehind
Ndabenkhul
uashecarri
esmet oourroom.Icry
l
oudlyastheint
ensepai
nfeel
slikeIsnappedmy
ar
mi nhalf
.
NKOSI
NATHI
Afteruncl
eNdabenkhul udisappearswi
thauntand
saneleweal ll
ookateachot her
.Mkhuluandhis
gir
lfr
iendarenotaroundandsoi sDadandMom
andauntThando.AuntTshegost andsupwit
h
uncleKhulekaniandtheyleaveaswell.
"Thankyoufort
hedel
ici
ousbr
eakf
astAmanda.
",
Bhekikhaya.
Hepat sherbeforeleavi ngsighi ngashegoes.Aunt
Kuhleshrugsandf ollowshi m.Lamil ooksatusand
webot hshrug.Thist ookawr ongt urnquickly.What
happenedeven?Iwal kt omyr oom andl i
stent omy
music.Ididn'
tgetmuchsl eepl astnight
.Ihad
anothernight
mar eandknowi ngAmandawasj ust
nextdooralsofrustratedme.Iendedupgoi ngf ora
swimt i
llmybodygr ewt ir
ed.If eelmyeyesdr oop
butopent hem whenIheart hedooropen.Ir aisemy
headaswhoeveropenedi tl
ocksi t.Myeyesmeet
AmandaandIt i
redlysi tup.Sheget sinbednextt o
me.
"
Hey.
"
"
Manda?
"
"IsawhowtiredyouweretodayandIhear
dyou
groanyest
erdayandIwantedtowakeyouupwhen
Isawyoucryinginyoursl
eepbutIgrewscar
edand
l
ef t
."
"
Thatst
il
ldoesn'
texpl
ainwhatyou'
redoi
ngi
nmy
r
oom."
Shelooksdownandpl
ayswi
thmysheet
s.She'
s
beauti
ful
.
"It
hought..
."
,shecl
ear
shert
hroatnotf
ini
shi
ngher
sentence.
"
Yout
houghtwhat
?"
"
Maybewecant
akeanapt
oget
her
."
Ichuckleathershyness.Whereisthegir
lthat
l
iter
all
yforcedmet otakehervi
rgini
ty?
"
Youwannacuddl
e?"
"Yes.Imissedfal
li
ngasl
eepi
nyourar
msandI
knowi t
swr ongbut-
"
"
Whydoyousayi
tswr
ong?
"
"
We'
ref
ami
ly.I
'
mli
keyoursi
ster
."
"
Udakiwe.DoIlookl
ikeI
'dsmashmysist
er?So
f
edethisiswhyyouendeduscauseyout
hinkwe'
re
f
amil
y? "
"
Butwear
e."
"
Onwhatt
erms?
"
"
Mysi
steri
smar
ryi
ngyouruncl
e."
"Wai
tsowher
edowef
iti
n,i
nthi
sfami
lyequat
ionof
your
s?"
"
You'
reKhuzwayo.Mysi
sterwi
llsoonbeone.
"
Ichuckl
eandshakemyhead.
"Ist
il
ldontgetyourpoi
nt.I
'veneverseenyouasmy
sist
er.Heckthat
sjustsi
ck.Isi
twhyyout ol
dmeto
stayaway?"
"
Par
ti
all
y."
"
Whyvel
e?"
"
Youdi
dn'
tseemywor
th.Yout
reat
edmeasa
sper
m di
sh.Il
oveyouNat
hiandIreal
lydobutyou
j
ustcoul
dn'
ttr
eatmeri
ghtpl
usyou'r
ealwaysso
angr
yandIgotscar
edsometi
mes."
"I
'
m sorr
y.I
'm notgoodatthi
slovet
hing.Il
oveyou
andwouldneverlayahandonyou.Youi r
ri
tat
eme
someti
mesandwef oughtal
otbuthaveIever
madeamovet ohityou?
"
Sheshakesherhead.
"
Useyourwor
ds.
"
"
No.
"
"
Whatdi
dIdo?
"
Shel
ooksatmewit
heyeswide.Sheopensher
mout
handclosesi
tagai
n.
"WhatdidIdotoyouaf
terwef
oughtandyou
pissedmeoff?
"
"
You.
..Youwoul
dpuni
shme.
",
shebr
eat
hesout
.
"
Howwoul
dIpuni
shyou?
"
Herbr
eat
heescal
atesandshecr
ossesherl
egs.
"
You'
dram i
ntome.You'
dsmackmyt
it
s."
"
Whatel
se?
"
It
hinkI
'
m get
ti
ngahar
donr
ightnow.
"You'ddenymeanor
gasm andmakemebegwhi
leI
apologi
zed."
Icanseeherer
ectnippl
est
hroughhert
ightt
opand
mymembert wi
tches.
"
Aft
er?
"
"You'dgi
vemeorgasm af
terorgasm t
il
lIcr
iedi
n
pleasur
eandcoul
dn'tt
akeitanymore.
"
Il
aybackont hebedandhereyestravelt
omyt r
unk
andnoticesmyer ect
ion.I
tshar
dnott onoti
cewi t
h
precum stai
ningmygr eysweat
pants.Shequickl
y
l
ooksawayandshuf fl
estoherfeet
.
"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"
"
Tomyr
oom.
"
"Wozal
a.Ut
heuzosgi
dlanaminj
e."(
Comeher
e.
Yousai
dyou'
resl
eepi
ngwithme.)
"
Whati
ftheycat
chus?
"
"
Theywont
."
Shet akesoffhershoesandget si
nnextt
ome.I
pullherclosert
omeandl ayherheadonmychest.I
grabherasswi thmyot herhandandshesnuggl
es
i
ntome.I 'm sofucki
nghor nyri
ghtnowbutIj
ust
wantt oholdhernothi
ngmor e.
"
Tji
napot
ra.
"(
gir
lf
ri
end)
"
Huh?
"
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
"
What
'st
ji
napot
ra?
"
"
It
syournewname.
"
"
Hayi
.Don'
tcal
lmet
hat
."
"
Tji
napot
ra.
"
Shedr
agsmet
hroughhert
eet
handIchuckl
e.
"
Nat
hi.
"
"
Tji
napot
ra.
"
"
Whydontyoul
augh?
"
"
Ido.
"
"
Noyoudon'
t.Youchuckl
eforl
ike10seconds.
"
"
That
'
smel
aughi
ng.
"
"
You'
rewei
rd.
"
Ishr
ugandsqueezeherass.I
m goi
ngtowakeup
wit
hbluebal
lsIt
hinkwhenIyawnsleepi
lyand
cl
osemyeyes.

NALEDY
Khuzwayoi sangr
yandIhaveneverseenhi
mthis
angry.Ist
raddl
ehim andwr
apmyar msaroundhi
s
neck.
"
Mlungi
si.
"
Helooksupatmewithr
edeyes.Thevei
nspopping
onhisheadmakeshi
ml ookevenmor
ehot.Idon'
t
car
ewhatanyonesaysbutthi
smanishandsome.
"
Cal
m down.He'
l
lcomear
ound.
"
IhopebecauseIcan'
tcompet
ewi
thadeadwoman.
"It
houghthe'
dt akeitbet
tert
hant
heot
her
ssi
nce
histheunder
standingone."
"
Hefeelsli
kehe'
dbebetr
ayi
nghi
smom i
fhel
etour
r
elat
ionshi
pcont
inue.
"
Hesi ghsandIgr abhi sfacebet weenmyhandsand
kisshi mt enderly.Itturnsintoahungr yandl ustful
kissasourt onguesdancei nangerr ubbingagai nst
eachot heraswebot htasteeachot her .Hel ift
sme
upandt urnsusar oundswi ft
ly.Twol oudt hudsar e
hear dasheki cksof fhisshoes.Hehel psmeoutof
myT- shirtanduncl ipsmybr aexper tly.Hef ondles
withmyboobst wistingandpi nchingmyni pples.I
helphi m outofhi sT- shirtandmywar m pal ms
automat icallygoest ohi sabsupt ohishar df irm
chest .Thedampnessi nmyunder wearr emi ndsme
ofhowheal waysar ousesmeandcanal ways
satisfiesme.Het ugsatmyj eansandpul lsdown
themat er i
albetweenhi m andhi sforbiddenf rui
t
whichhel ovesanddevour ssomuch.Het akeshi s
jeansof fandcl imbsont opofme, getti
ngi n
betweenmyshaki ngt highs.I'
mr eal
lyar ousedt hat
whenheat tempt stogodownonmeIpul lhi m up.
"
Makel
ovet
ome.
",Icommandhi
m.
Hesmi
lesatt
hisandr
ubshi
sthi
ckl
ongcockonmy
wetpussycausi ngmet omoanl owly.Hesli
des
himselfinmesmoot hl
yandIgasp.Hi sgi
rt
hf i
ll
sme
uptouchi ngplacesonlyhecanr each.Hemoves
slowl
ywhi l
eholdingti
ghtl
ytome.Wemovei nsync
toourfami l
iardanceoflovers.Hisgroanslowin
myear sf al
li
nginsyncwi t
hmymoans.Wehol d
eachot herti
ghterasweengagei nthi
slovemaking
sessi
on.Icl osemyeyesbi ti
ngmyl ipashemakes
slowlovet ome.
57
UNYEZI
Isitupandr ubmyeyes.ItsmidnightandLangais
nother e.Wespentthedayjustcuddli
ngandme
crying.Apapercatchesmyat t
enti
on.Bytheugly
writingIcantel
lit
sLangas.
"
Baby.I
'm sor
ryt
oleavel
ikethi
sbutwef ounda
l
ead.Il
oveyouandwe'l
ltal
kwhenIgetbackhome.
Weincr
easedsecur
it
y.Keepeveryonesafe.
"
Isi
ghandst andup.It
akeoutmygunandcountt he
bul
let
s.Ihaveonly9lef
t.Ileavet
hecasset
teonthe
bedandcocki tt
hanputitonautomat
icmode.Ipul
l
thet r
iggerandi tshootsblankmul ti
plet
imes.A
thoughtcomesi ntomi nd.Ishould'
veblownoutthat
l
ittlehoesbr ai
nsoutt hemi nuteIfoundoutshe
sleptwi t
hmyhusbandandshott hatcheati
ng
mot herfuckeri
nhi sknee.Ishakemyheadandput
mygunback.Iexi ttheroom andheadt othe
kitchen.Icanhearwhi mperingcomi ngfr
om Nathi
s
room.Il ist
encar eful
lyandhi scr
ying.Iopenthe
doorandhi scryinginhissleep.Ishakehim.
"
It
sadr
eam baby.
"
"
Mama!
"
Hewakesupsweat
ingandheavi
ng.Hewi
peshi
s
t
ear
sandsighs.
"
Boy.Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
hist
oyour
sel
f?"
"Iwantt
ofor
getMama.Iwantt
ofor
getsobadbutI
can'
t.
"
"Themor eyout
rytoforgetthemor ethethi
ngyou
runni
ngawayf r
om catchesonwi thyou.
Somet hi
ng'
saremeantt obefacedanddeal twi
th.
Runningawayfrom somethingthathurtyouwon't
maket hewoundheal.You'l
lbleedti
llyougrowti
red
andthathurtsmor e.Lifei
sar ol
lercoaster
.Ittakes
youhighandbr ingsyoudowni nhi ghspeedt hat
youwer en'
treadyfor.Youcanneverpr eparef or
pai
ni nli
febutitsupt oyoutolear nhowt ocope
anddealwi t
hit.Don'tletwhatyousawdef i
neyou.
You'r
eagr eatkid.Focusondeal ingwi t
hthis.You
cantalktomeanyt imeyouwant .Idon'twantyou
fal
li
ngintodepression.Don'tdothi stoyourself.
"
Henodsandat
tempt
stohugme.
"Sies.Wit
hallt
hatsweat?Got
akeashowerandj
oin
mei nthekit
chen.I
'm maki
ngwar
m mil
kand
biscuit
s."
Hesmi
les.
"
I'
llbet
her
emom.
"
"
Okaymf
anawam.Il
oveyouokay.
"
"
Iloveyout
oomom.
"
Il
eavehim andcheckonLamiwho' sfastasl
eep.I
helphim sl
eepproperl
y.Thisonewi l
lbr
eakhisneck
oneday.Nkanyeziissleepi
ngwhi l
esuckingonhis
fi
ngers.Hewon'tletgoofthishabi
t.Iki
ssthei
r
for
eheadsandleavet
hem.If
indKuhl
ekonkewi
th
Sneintheki
tchen.
"
Heyy'
al
l.
"
Shet
urnsar
oundandsmi
lesshaki
ngSnesbot
tl
e.
"Hey.I
'
m maki
ngthi
soneabot
tl
ebecausehe
doesn'
twantt
osuckonmyboobs.
"
Itakethebottlef
rom herandsqueezealit
tl
emilk
ontomywr i
st.It
akehimf r
om herandfeedhim.He
l
ooksexact l
ylikeever
yone.Nosignthathis
Kuhlekonkesson.IhatetheKhuzwayogenes.He
st
ar t
scryingandspitt
ingoutt
hef or
mula.
"
Shedi
dthatwi
thmymi
lkt
oo.
"
Iopenhi
smout
handl
ookathi
stongue.
"
Uneyi
londa.
"(Hegotsor
es.
)
"
Ist
hatbad?
"
"I
thappenst
oal
otofki
ds.Passmehi
stoweland
somesugar.
"
ShedoessoandIt
akesomehoneyf
rom t
hef r
idge
andpouri
tonthet
owelt
handi
piti
nsugar.Iopen
t
heli
ttlef
ell
owsmout handr ubhistonguewit
hit
.
HecriesbutIdon'tstop.Ipulloutt
hetowelandhe
f
inal
lyisabletotastethehoneyandsugar .
"
Passmet
hebot
tl
e."
Hef
eedsf
orawhi
lebef
orespi
tt
ingagai
n.
"
Justkeepr
ubbi
nghi
stonguel
iket
hatandhe'
l
lbe
f
ine.
"
"
Thankyou.
"
Ismi l
eatherandhandt hesleepyfell
owtoher.She
burpshi m andheadsoutoft hekit
chen.Iwipe
mysel fandlaughlight
ly.Nkanyeziusedtotakeme
forar i
deaswel l
.Iwarm upt hemi l
kandtakeout
chocol at
ebiscui
ts.Nkosinathiwal
ksinlooking
fresh.Ihandhim hisglassofmi l
k.
"
Thankyoumom.
"
Inodandt
akeasi
pofmymi
lk.Ismi
leatt
hewar
m
tast
e.
"Youknowmom somet i
mesIwi shIneverwentout
ofmyr oom whenIhear
dshoutingdownstai
rsandI
wishIneversatatt
hestai
rcaseandwatched.I
wi
shIneversawanyt
hing.
"
"
Andt hat
'sokaybutunlessyouhaveageni
eyour
wishesmightcomethrough.Doyoumissyour
mom? "
"
No.
"
"
Why?
"
"Shewasn'texactl
yamot her.Shecaredmor eabout
anewpai rofheelsthanbedi dforus.Shecheated
ondad.Al ot.Dadusedt ogoonbusi nesstri
psthen.
She'dbri
ngoverherf ri
endsandbyf r
iendsImean
guys.Shedi dn'
twantust ocallhermom.Shesai d
wewer eruiningherreput
ation.Sheneverclosed
hermouthabouthowmuchofami st
akewewer e.
Theonlytimeshef akedcar i
ngwaswhenDadwas
around.
"
"
Howdi
dherdeat
hmakeyouf
eel
?"
"Iwassoangr
yatmyselfforbei
nghappy.Idi
dn'
t
wanttobebutIwas.Shehadnotonl
ybrokenus
butDadaswell
."
"
Doyouhat
eyourf
atherf
orki
ll
ingyourmom?
"
"Icouldneverhatethatman.Heknewwewer en'
t
hiskidsbutstil
ltr
eatsusasi fwear e.Hehasnever
evenoncemadeusf eel
li
kewe' renot.Hegaveus
thebestchildhoodmemor ies.Helovedus.He
raiseduswel l
.Whathedi dstil
lhauntsmebutthere
i
snoounceofhat etowardshi m.Iwasangr yatf
irst
unt i
lIt
alkedtohim."
"
Whenyout
oldhi
m howdi
dyouf
eel
?"
"If
eltrel
ievedthathefi
nall
yknew.Iwassot i
redof
carr
yinghi ssecr
etaround.I
tweighedheavi
lyon
me."
"
Whydoyout
hinkt
heni
ght
mar
esar
est
il
lther
e?"
"
Idon'
tknowr
eal
ly.
"
"Thatsbecauseyou'r
esoangr yatyourmother.You
saidyouwer ehappyshewasdead?Maybet hats
anotherreason.Youbaskinthati
mageseeingt he
womanwhogavebi r
thtoyoubutreject
edy'al
ldie
causeitmaygi veyoupeacethatsheisn'
taroundto
rej
ecty'al
lagain.
"
Hesi
ghsandwi
peshi
stear
s.
"
Ist
her
eanyt
hingel
seyou'
dli
ket
otel
lme?
"
Henodsaft
err
unninghi
shandt
hroughhi
shai
r.He
needsanewhai
rcut.
"
Thesi
tuat
ionbet
weenmeandTj
inapot
ra.
"
"
Who'
stj
inapi
ta?
"
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
"
Sor
ry.ImeantAmanda.
"
"
Whooo.What
'sgoi
ngonbet
weeny'
al
l?
"
"Idon'
tknow.Shesayswe'r
efami
lyandt
hat
sone
ofthereasonsshecan'
tbewit
hme."
"
Oh.Doyoul
oveher
?"
"
Alot
."
"
Thanwhyar
eyouhol
dingback?
"
"Idon'
twantt
opusht
oohar
d.Shedeser
vesbet
ter
anyway."
"
Who'
sbet
ter
?"
"
Idon'
tknowMom.
"
"
Soyou'
rewi
ll
ingt
olethergo?Letherbewi
th
anot
herguy?
"
Hef
rownsatt
hatandIst
if
leal
aught
er.
"
No.Shecan'
tbewi
thanot
herguy.
"
"Don'
tyout hi
nkit
sunfai
rthou?Youhavedi
ffer
ent
gir
lsinyourbedever
yweekendbutshecan'tbe
withanotherguy?
"
"
But
-"
"
No.Ifyouwil
li
ngtol
etherbethanherbeingi
na
r
elat
ionshi
pshoul
dn'
tbeyourbusi
ness."
"
Wil
litbewor
thi
tthou?Thepai
n?"
"
Asl
ongasshe'
shappyr
ight
?"
"
MaybebutofI
'
m nott
heonemaki
ngherhappy
t
hanIcan'
t.
"
Isi
ghandshakemyhead.Thi
sonet
ookaf
terhi
s
fat
heranduncl
es.
"
Thanshowheryoul
oveher
."
Henodsandtakesabi
teofhi
slastbi
scui
t.He
comesandhugsme.
"
Thankyoumom.
"
"
Anyt
ime.
"
HeleavesandIcl
eanup.Ilookatthecl
ock.I
t'
s
01:
34andt heyst
il
lnotback.Igobackt
omyr oom
andpray.

AMANDA
I'
m wokenupbycol
dhandspul
li
ngme.Iopenmy
eyesadrubthesl
eepof
fthem.
"
It
sjustme.
"
I
t'
sNkosi
nat
hi.
"
Whatt
imei
sit
?"
"
Prol
lyhal
fpastone.
"
"
Yourhandsar
ecol
dmanNat
hi.
"
"
Sor
ry.Maket
hem war
m."
Heput st
hem insi
demypyj
amapant
sandIshi
ver
ashiscoldhandscomei
ncont
actwi
thmybutt
cheeks.
"
Whyar
en'
tyoui
nyourr
oom?
"
"
Imi
ssedyou.
"
"
Soyouchoset
ocomeandhar
assme.
"
"
Mxm.Asi
fyoudon'
tli
kei
t.
"
"
Mxm.
"
Theonl
ylighti
nthisroom i
sfr
om t
hemoonli
ght
.I
canseehalfofhi
sface.Ir
unmyfinger
sthr
oughhi
s
hai
r.
"
Ouch.
"
"
Sor
ry.
"
Ipul
lmyf
inger
soutofhi
stangl
edhai
r.
"
Ineedt
ogetahai
rcut
."
"
Why?
"
"
It
sover
grown.
"
"
Ili
kei
t.
"
Igr
abaf
ist
fulofi
t.
"
Ofcour
seyouwoul
d.Il
ookhandsome.
"
"
Psssht
hat
'snotevent
her
easonwhy.
"
"
Why?
"
"
Hayi
."
Hepul
lsmyli
pswit
hhisteet
h.Hepecksmyli
ps.I
cl
osemyeyesatt
hefeel
ofhisli
psonmine.
"
Openyoureyes.
"
Iopent hem andhegivesmeal opsidedsmi l
e.He
pull
smyf aceandourli
psconnectagai n.Imissed
hi
ski sses.Hegetsi
nbet weenmyt highs.Hepul l
s
outandl ooksatme.Hel ooksdownatmyexposed
breasts.
"
It
sagoodt
hingyouonl
ysl
eepi
nyourunder
wear
."
Histonguejolt
soutandwet shisl
owerlip.He
att
acksmyl ipsagainandIdon'tr
esi
st.Hisone
handcupsmybr eastandtwir
lsmynipplearound
hi
sf i
ngers.I
'm putt
yinhishandsandheknowsi t.
[
REMOVED]

LANGALAKHE
Wefoundal eadandl eftatmidnight
.We'
reopposi
te
NkanyambaZi kodesflat.We'
relooki
ngathi
m
sl
eepingt
hroughbi noculars.
"
Iknewt
hathehasahandbehi
ndt
his.
",Khul
ekani
.
Hehasver ynosecur i
tyyethewasgoi ngagai nstus.
Het houghthewashi di
ng.Ndabenkhul ui sthe
skil
ledwi t
hwi thlongdi stanceshoot ing.Weal llook
athim ashehol dst heguni nhishandswi thhis
i
ndexf ingerwaver ingovert hetrigger.Hewant edto
bet heonepul li
ngt hetriggeronhi m.Hi sbeenl ike
thatforawhi lewi t
hast oicexpression.Wel ookat
eachot herandnod.Hel ickshislipsandexhal es
pull
ingt hetr
iggerandt hebul l
etripplesthrought he
airsil
entlybreakingawi ndowandpassi ngt hrough
Zikodeshead.
"
Shi
t!
",Khul
ekani
.
Thisonecanneverkeepquiet.Wepackupand
l
eavetheemptyapartment.Wegeti nt
othestolen
caranddri
veoff
.Wel eaveiti
nt hesugarcanefarm
andwalktoacr
ossaf t
erburningourclot
hestil
lwe
fi
ndourcar.We'
reallsi
lentaswegeti nthecar.
"
Weonl yhavetogeta28tokil
lthatsonofabi
tch
i
nsi
det her
eandt hanwe'
regoi
ngaf t
er
Oki
ri
."
,Ndabenkhulu.
"
Dadcandealwi
thOki
ri
."
,Khul
ekani
.
"Yeahbuttai
mashoul
dfocusonhi
srel
ati
onshi
p."
,
Bhekikhaya.
"
Bhekii
sri
ght
."
,Ndabenkhul
u.
Weal
llookathi
m andKhul
ekaniwhi
stl
es.
"Sikhelaminagul
uva.Fedesowumthebel
ele
ngalenumberepushwayitai
manaleyathekeni
?"(
tel
l
mebr o.Soyouokaywit
hwhatdadispushingwith
thatgirl?
)
"Baf
oIreal
izedIwasbei
ngunfai
r.Mom i
sdead.
",
hetakesadeepbreat
hinandbli
nks.
Hewasthemama'sboyandhetookmom'sdeat
h
t
hehar
destsi
ncehist
heemoti
onalone.
"Daddeservestobehappy.Ican'
tkeephol
dinghim
backbecauseIalwayspict
urehim wit
hmom.Hi sa
greatt
aimaandt hi
sist
heleastIcoulddof
orhim.",
Ndabenkhulu.
Khul
ekanipat
shi
sshoul
derashi
ssi
tt
ingbehi
nd
hi
m.
Wepassi
ngthrougheMl
azinowandIr
eal
iset
his
Toyot
acor
oll
ahasbeenfol
lowi
ngus.
"Baf
o.Leyakarimzobanei
seyi
thendeni
."
(t
hatcar
hasbeenfol
lowingus.)
Theyalll
ookbehindusandNdabenkhul ustepson
theaccel
erat
or.Khul
ekanitakesouthisgunand
openshiswindow.Hetakeshi supperbodyoutand
star
tsshooti
ng.Theothercarstart
sshooti
ngback.
"
Fuck!
",Khul
ekani
.
Bheki
khayapul
lshi
m backbyhi
spant
s.Hei
s
bl
eedi
ng.
"
It
sjustaf
leshwound.
",Bheki
khaya.
Weal
lrel
easebr
eathsofr
elief
.Thatl
aait
ieshould
st
opwatchi
ngact
ionmovies.Heain'
tTerminat
or.
"
Letmet
aket
hewheel
!"
,Bheki
khaya.
Theyexchangeseatsdanger
ousl
ybutweusedt
o
thi
s.Abull
etpassesnearmywindow.
"
Hol
yFuck!
"
Bhekikhayaspeedsoffandt
akesadrasti
cturnint
o
eMlazikaA.NdabenkhuluhashisT-
shir
tpressed
onKhul ekaniwho'
sbusyshout
ing.
"
Mal
udai
sgonnaki
llme!Fuck!Fuck!
",Khul
ekani
.
Il
ostcountofthefuckshissaid.Wellwe'
real
l
goi
ngtogetkill
ed.Unyeziisgonnahavemyassas
myearisbleedingfr
om thatbull
et.Whenwegetout
ofeMlaziBheki
khayahaslostthem.
"
Whatwast
hat
?",
Bheki
khaya.
"Ithi
nkwewereabouttobehi
jacked.Thecar
start
edfol
lowi
ngusthemomentwepassedV
secti
on.
"
"
Idon'
tgiveaf
uck!Mal
udai
sgoi
ngt
oki
llme!
",
Khul
ekani.
"
OhGod!
",Ndabenkhul
u.
"
You'
rebl
eedi
ng.
",Bheki
khaya.
"
Yeah.Theyal
mostshotmyearof
f.
"
"
Great
!NowUnyezii
sgonnaki
llust
oo!
",Khul
ekani
.
"
ShutupKhul
ekani
!"
,Ndabenkhul
u.
Wedr i
vetomyhouseinKwaMashutochangethe
wreckedcarandgetaf
ir
stai
dki
t.Icheckt
heti
me.
04:23.
.
.
Wedr iveintothedr ivewayby08: 46wi thaf reshcar
andfreshcl ot
hes.Khul ekanii
swear i
ngahoodi eto
coveruphi sbandage.Cowar d.Letmenotj udgeas
I'
m wear i
ngabeani et ocovermyear .Wewal kin
andfindBaba, Naledy,Unyezi,
Tshego, Kuhlekonke
andNoxol osittingar oundthedinnert abledr i
nki
ng
tea.Whent heseeusUnyezii sthef ir
sttostandup
checkingmeoverandhugsme.Isi ghinrelief
sil
entl
ywhenshedi dn'
tseemypl asteredear .
Khulekaniissot ensewhenTshegohugshi m.
Bhekikhayapi ncheshi m andwi denshi seyes.Thi s
oneisgoi ngtogetusi nt r
ouble.Wesi tdownand
poursomecof fee.Nkanyezicomesi nrunningand
tri
psbutst andsupandr unsanyway.Hepi f
tsvhis
handsupt ome.
"
Take.
"
Il
ifthim upandhepl ayswithmyf ace.Hisst
il
lin
hi
spyj amassoIguesshej ustwokeup.Het akes
offmybeani eandpul l
sitbetweenhishandsbefore
wearingit.Ndabenkhulustar
esatmewi deeyed
andNoxol oseeshim.
"
Whathappenedt
oyourear
?",
Noxol
o.
"
Mywhat
?Not
hing.
"
Unyezil
ooksatmeandIswal
lowhar
d.Hereyes
l
andonmyear .
"
Whathappened?
",Unyezi
.
"
Wewer
eonourwaybackand.
..
"
Il
ookatBheki
khayaandheshakeshi
shead.
".
..
andwewer ewalki
ngatt heapart
mentwewer e
renti
ngtofol
lowourleadsandIdidn'tseethezi
ncs
thatwerepackedonthewal landIj
ustrushedin
anditcutmyear.Yeah.Rightguys?"
"
Yeahyeahr
ight
."
,t
heal
lagr
ee.
Shesqui
ntshereyesatmeandnods.Dadchuckl
es
andmakesthatloudslurpi
ngsoundwi t
hhist
ea.I
smi l
eawkwardl
yateveryone.Nkanyezi
isnow
asleeponmychest.Thisli
tt
lefel
lowgetsmein
tr
oubleandfall
sasl
eep.

NKOSI
NATHI
Amandashakesmeoutofsl
eep.Ir
ubmyeyesand
si
tup.
"
Hey.
"
"
Hey.
"
Wesmi
leateachot
her
.
"
Ever
yonei
sup.Wesl
epti
n."
Shelookssoscar
edpassingmemycl ot
heswhi
ch
onlyconsi
stofmyunderwearandsweat
pant
s.I
dressupwithmydicker
ect.
"
Can'
tIgetamor
ninggl
ory?
"
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.No.
"
"
Butl
ook.
..
"
Ishowhermyer
ectdi
ckasi
tthr
obscauseshe'
s
naked.
"
We'
l
lgetcaught
."
"
Wewon'
t.I
'
llbequi
ck.
"
Sheshakesherheadvi gor
ously.Itakeherhandput
i
tovermyer ectdi
ckandshehol dsiti
nhersmal l
hand.Sheusesherhandt ohelpheraccommodat e
me.Shegoesdownonherkneesandl i
cksmef i
rst
.
Imoanl owly.Sheplayswithmybal l
sbeforetaki
ng
mei nhersmal lwarm mouth.Iloseitandgrabher
hai
rf ucki
nghermout h.ShegagsandIpul loutand
aft
ershecat chesbreat
heIpumpi ntohermout h
again.
"
Fuck!
"
Ishootmyl oadintoherthroatleavi
ngherwithno
choicebuttoswallow.Ipullmydi ckoutwhichi
s
halferect
.Thereistearsinhereyesandcome
drippi
ngdownhermout h.Shesl apsmythigh
beforestandi
ngup.Shewi pesherdacewithherT-
shirt
.Inoti
ceherjuicesrunningdownherlegs.I
pickherupandl ayheront heunmadebed.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
"
I'
llbequi
ck.
"
Ii
nser
tmysel
fintoherandshemoans.I'
veal
ready
camesoIdoubtIwil
lbeasquickasIsai
dI'
dbe.

TSHEGO(
Mal
uda)
Weal
lgobacktoourrooms.We'
rewal
kingt
oour
r
oom whenKhul
ekanigrabsmyar
m.
"
Ssshh.
"
Il
ookar ound.Ihearmoansandgr oans.They'
re
comi ngfrom Amanda' sroom.Bef
orehecansay
anythingstupidIputmyhandoverhi smout hand
pullhim away.Hebr eaksint
oalaughwhenweget
i
ntoourr oom.Khul ekanicanbestupi
dwhenhe
want stobe.
"
Youmustbet
ir
ed.
"
"
Yeah.Wehar
dlysl
ept
."
"SodidI.Iwaswor r
ied.Youdidn'tsaymuchonthat
scri
bbledlet
teryouleftheckIcouldn'
tevenr
eadit
."
"Iwasinahur
ry.Wehadsomet
hingt
osor
tout
nothi
ngmajor
."
Heleavesforthebathr
oom andIknowIshoul dn'
t
askmor e.Hemaybecl ownbuthisst
il
lint
imidati
ng.
Iam sl
eepysoIt akeoffmygownandgoti nbed.
Hewalksi naf
terafewmi nut
es.
"
I'
m sot
ir
ed.
"
"
Geti
nher
e.Takeof
fthathoodi
e."
"
It
scol
d.I
'
llsl
eepwi
thi
t.
"
Hi
sdef
ini
tel
yhi
dingsomet
hingundert
hathoodi
e.
"
Mmhm.
"
"
Yeah
Heget
sinbedandgr
unt
s.Hepul
lsmet
ohi
m.
"
Thi
scuddl
ewoul
dfeel
bet
teri
fyouwer
eshi
rt
less.
"
"
SleepMal
uda.I
tsCol
d."
"
Mmmmh.
"
Il
ethim bewi
thhi
shoodi
eandf
allasl
eept
othe
soundofhisr
aci
nghear
t.
THANDO
Iwakeuptomyphoner i
ngi
ng.I t
saFacet i
mef r
om
Ozo.Ir
ubmyeyesandchecki fther
e'sanythi
ngon
myface.Ianswersmi
li
ngti
redly.
"
Goodmor
ning.
"
"
Mor
ning.
",Iyawnout
.
"
Imi
ssyou.
"
"
Met
oo.
"
"
I'
llseeyousoont
hou.
"
"
Ihopeso.
"
"I
'
m goingtowork.Justcal
ledt
ocheckonyouand
seeyourbeaut
if
ulface."
Ibl
ushal
it
tl
ebi
tandhel
aughs.
"Cut
e.Gotosl
eepagainst
handwasami
.I'
l
lcal
lyou
duri
ngluncht
ime.Il
oveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Wedr
opt
hecal
landIsmi
le.Iyawnandcl
osemy
eyes.

MLUNGI
SI
Ndabenkhulur
emainsbehi
ndaf
terahi
sbr
other
s
l
eft
.Her ubshi
sface.
"BabaI
'm sor
ryforhowIr eacted.Iam st
il
l
wrappi
ngmyheadar oundthis.Ifshemakesyou
happythanI'
m happyforyou."
"Thankyouson.I'
m gladyoucamearound.I
expectedyourbehavi
orfr
om Langal
akhel
ihl
esi
nce
hisstubbor
n."
"
Heact
ual
lyt
ooki
tqui
tewel
l.
"
"
Howdi
ditgo?
"
"Nkanyambaisdead.We'r
edeal
ingwit
hNoxol
osex
aft
erthis.Oki
rimi
ghtgi
veusaprobl
em."
Naledystandsupandgi
vesusspacewhenshe
noti
cesthechangeoft
opic.SheknowsIgetmy
handsalitt
ledi
rt
ysometi
mes.
"
Howdot
heycomet
oget
heri
nthi
sequat
ion?
"
"Nkanyambawasappr oachedbyMsi ziso
Nkanyambacoul dtakeoutNoxol o.Okiribeingour
ri
valfoundopportunit
yandmadeadealwi ththese
men.Theywer et
otakeusoutsl owl y.Nkanyamba
plannedthehitandthenextonewasonUnyezi .We
allhaveweaknessessot heyweret hef i
rsttargets.
Sanewasntsupposet ogetmixedint hecr ossfire
andt hatcausedali
ttl
ebridgebetweent hem andi t
waseasygett oMsizi
.Hecoughedupqui teal ot.
"
"
Oki
rii
sati
tagai
n?"
"
Yeah.
"
Icr
ackmyknuckl
es.
"
Leavehi
mtome.Ishoul
d'veki
ll
edhi
m whenheput
t
hathi
tonmywi
fe."
"
Don'
tlethi
m getawayt
hist
imear
ound.
"
"
Iwon'
t.
"
HestandsupandIfol
low.Webot
hpar
twayswi
th
t
houghtsinourmi
nds.
58
UNYEZI
"
I'
m notl
yingmawabo.
"
"
You'
rel
ying.
"
"
I'
m not
."
"
Youar
e."
"
I'
m not
."
"
Youar
e."
"
Okay.Ial
mosthadmyearshotof
f.
"
Hewidenshi
seyeswhenher
eal
isedhej
ustt
old
t
hetr
uth.
"
Thati
swhatyouwant
edmet
osayr
ight
?"
"Don'
tpullt
hatonme!You'reafat
hernowLanga!
Whatifthebull
etwentthr
oughyourhead?
!Worse
youfuckenli
eaboutit
!"
"
I'
m sor
rybutst
opshout
ing.I
'
m sor
ry.
"
"
Ifyouevergooutagai
ntodowhat evershi
ty'
alldo
i
nthemiddleoftheni
ghtandgetshot!Langa!
"
Icl
apmyhands.
"
Iwi
llki
llyouandIwon'
tmi
ssl
iket
heydi
d!"
"
IknowI
'
m sor
ry.
"
It
urnaroundandhesnakeshi
shandsar
oundmy
waist
.
"
Don'
tgetangr
ynow.Lookatme.
"
Het
urnsmear
oundandsmi
les.
"Ishoul
d'vebeenmorecar
eful
.Ipr
omi
seIwon'
tbe
attherecei
vingendofabul
let
."
"Stayawayf
rom bul
let
sLanga.Idon'tknowwhat
y'al
ldobuti
fyouareagangsterI
'l
l-
"
"
Iknowyou'
llki
llme.I'
m notagangst
er.I
'
mjusta
r
ichguywi
thenemi es.
"
"
Youbet
terbe.I
'
lll
eaveyourass.
"
"
You'r
enevergoi
ngt
oleaveme.Theonl
yti
meyou'
l
l
l
eavemewi l
lbei
nacoff
in.
"
Il
ookathi
m andhei
sser
ious.
"
Areyout
hreat
eni
ngme?
"
"Ni
ksmabhebheza.Kodwaokukakesarukuyohl
ala
kungokwakesar
u."
(noband.Butwhatbel
ongsto
mewi l
lal
waysbemi ne.
)
Il
ikei
twhenhegetsal
lkasionmebutr
ightnowI
dontl
ikehi
stone.
"
I'
m notyourbel
ongi
ng.
"
"
Angi
shongo.
"(Idi
dn'
tsay.
)
Heki
ssesmegr abbi
ngmyassandsqueezi
ngi
t.He
r
ubshisboneronmygroi
nandImoan.
"
Youl
ooksexywhenyouangr
y."
Hewhisper
sint
omyearandni
psati
t.Hel
icksmy
neckandbi
tesi
t.
"
Euw.Ihaven'
tevent
akenashoweryet
."
"
Ili
keyousweat
y."
Helif
tsmeupandIgi ggle.Wait-wasn'
tIangr
yat
him?I'
llbeangryathim af tert
his.Helaysmeon
thebedandunt iesmyf luffygownexposingmy
nakedbody.Hesmi lesandmakesapur ri
ngsound.
Heundr esseshimselfandget sinbetweenmy
thi
ghsagai n.Hepositi
onshi mselfandpenetr
ates
mecausi ngmet ogaspf orair
.
"Howmanyt i
messhoul
dIt
ellyout
onotr
aiseyour
voiceatme?
"
IknewIwasn'tgonnagetawaywit
hshouti
ngathi
m
butIhadhope.Idon'
tanswerandhet
hrust
sint
o
meballsdeepandIscream.
"
Howmanyt
imes-
"
"
Always!
",
Iscr
eam outwhenr
amsi
ntomeagai
n.
"
Nowwhydoyoukeepdoi
ngi
t?"
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
Heholdsmywr i
stst
ogetherabovemyheadsoI
don'
tscrat
chhi
m.Het akesapill
owandputsi
t
undermybutt
.
"
Why?"Thr
ust."
Do..
"Thrust
."You.
..
"Thrust
.
"
Keep.
..
"Thr
ust."
Doing.
..
"Thrust
."I
t?"Thr
ust.
Ican'
tseem tofor
m asensibl
esentenceashe
keepshit
ti
ngmyg- spotpl
entyoft
imes.Itr
yfreei
ng
myhandsf rom hi
sholdsbuthehol
dsmet ighter
.
That'
sgoingtobruise.
"
Answerme.
"
"
I.
..I
..
.AaaaaahLanga!
"
Myl
egsshakeasIf
eel
abui
l
dcomi
ngandmybody
goesr
igi
dbuthest
opsmovi
ng.No!
"
Langapl
ease.
"
HestartsmovingwhenheseesthatI
'vecal
m down
fr
om myal mostorgasm.Hi
ssweati
ngand
breat
hingheavil
yontopofme.
"
Ifyoudon'
tanswermeI
'
llst
opcompl
etel
y."
Iopenandcl
osemymout
haf
ewt
imesAndhe
stops.
"
Iwasangr
y."
Hestart
smovi
ngagai
n.Sl
owert
hist
imebutst
il
l
deep.
"
DoIevershoutatyouwhenI
'
m angr
y?"
Ishakemyheadvi
gor
ousl
y.Hepi
nchesmyt
high.
"
No!
"
Hestar
tspumpingi
ntomef astandIt
ryf
reeingmy
handst
onosuccess.Icl
enchmyt hi
ghsaround
hi
m andhegroans.
"
Unyeziyou'
rehur
ti
ngme.
"
"
Youar
etoo.
"
Heholdsmyl egupandcar r
iesonthrustingi
ntome.
Abuildknot
supi nmyabdomenandIar chmyback
shaki
ng.Icum hardandhef ucksmet hroughitand
Icum agai
nandhef oll
ows.Hecl i
mbsof fmeand
rol
lsovert
othesidenexttome.Wel ayinsil
ence
breat
hingheavi
lytr
yingtogetourbreathingi
nor der
.
"I
'
m sor
ry.I
'
llbecaref
ulnextt
imeandIwi
llst
ay
awayfr
om bull
ets.
"
"
I'
m sor
ryt
oo.Iwasj
ustangr
y.Iwasscar
ed.
"
"We'
vebeentoget
herf
or4yearsyetyoust
il
lrai
se
yourvoi
ceatmeknowingver
ywellIhatei
t.
"
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
"Let
'sgotakebath.Sl
eep.We'
l
ltal
kaboutwhat
happenedyester
daythatmadeyoucrywhenwe
wakeup."
Inodandhetakesmei
nhi
sar
msandcar
ri
esmet
o
thebat
hroom.

NDABENKHULU
Iwipehermout handt aket
heemptyplat
et ot
he
ki
tchen.IthankKuhlekonkefort
hefoodandshe
smiles.Isi
tacrossherwhenIgettoourroom.
"
MaSi
langwe.
"
Sher
aisesherheadandl
ooksatme.
"
Areyouokay?
"
Shenods.
"
Shoul
dIcal
lthedoct
or?
"
Sheshakesherhead.Isi
tnextt
ohercar
efulnott
o
hur
ther.
"
Ngi
yaxol
isa.
"(I
m sor
ry.
)
Thesi
lentt
reat
mentiski
ll
ingme.Shehasntt
alked
tomesincethedayshef
ell.
"
Ital
kedtoDadandwesortedoutourpr
obl
ems.I
wasbeingunf
airandIr
eal
isedt
hat.
"
"
It
'sf
ine.
"
"
I'
m sor
ryt
hatyouf
ell
."
"
Itwasn'
tyourf
aul
t.
"
"
Part
iall
y.I
fyoudi
dn'thavet
orepri
mandmysel
fi
sh
waysthanyouwouldn'
thavegot
tenangr
yandt
ri
ed
t
owalkof f
."
Ihol
dhergoodhandandki
ssi
t.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
"
It
sokay.
"
"
I'
llmakeyousomeveget
abl
elesagne.
"
Shesmi
lesal
it
tl
eandnods.
"
Am If
orgi
ven?
"
"
Aft
eraf
ootr
ub.
"
"
I'
mti
redkodwaMaSi
langwe.Ihaven'
tsl
ept
.It
's.
..
"
Il
ookatmywat
ch.
"
12:
24andIspental
lmor
ningt
ryi
ngt
otal
ktoyou.
"
"
Footr
ubyamiKhuzwayo.
"
Sher
elaxesbackont
hebedandwi
ggl
eshert
oes.
"
You'
reabul
ly.
"
"
Footr
uborI
'
llmaket
hataf
ullbodymassage.
"
"
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
nd.
"
Shel
aughssweet
ly.Shel
ookssobeaut
if
ul.
"
Ofcour
seyouwoul
dn'
t.
"
Ichuckleandgethermassagingoi
l.It
rynotto
makef unofherbabyfeetseei
nghowI'm st
il
lon
rockywaters.

BHEKI
KHAYA
Ij
ustwokeupandt ookashower .Kuhlekonkeisnot
i
ntheroom andSineissl
eeping.Iwakehi m upand
hecri
es.Ishushhi
m.Kuhlekonkewal ksinwi t
hher
apr
onon.
"
Hisup?
"
Inodwhi
lesmi
li
ng.
"
Youwokehi
m updi
dn'
tyou?
"
"
Imi
ssedhi
m."
"
Bheki
."
"
Sor
ryPeaches.
"
Sheblushesatt
henameandIchuckl e.Inamedher
peacheswhenshewaspr egnant
.Shewast hi
ck
andyell
ow.Iusedtosayshewasr i
pelikeapeach
andshehatedit
.Sheli
kesitnow.Women.
"
You'
regoi
ngt
ofeedhi
m."
"
Finebyme.
"
Shenodssmi l
ing.IbalanceSinewi
thonehandon
myshoulderandpul lhismotherwi
tht
heother
towar
dsme.
"
Hey.
"
"
Hey.
"
Shesmilesatme.Ipeckherl
ipsandputmy
for
eheadonhers.
"
SthandwaSam.
"(Myl
ove.
"
"
Ufunani
?"(
Whatdoyouwant
?)
"
Nothi
ng.Can'
tIj
ustcal
lthel
oveofmyl
if
emy
l
ove?"
"
Bheki
khayauf
unani
?"(
Whatdoyouwant
?)
"
Aps5.
"
"
Buyi
tyour
sel
f.
"
"
Babyngyakucel
a."(
Please.
)
Sher
oll
shereyesatme.
"Uzoyenzanii
Ps5?
"(Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odowi
tha
ps5?)
Il
aughatt
hewayshesaysi
t.
"
Sayps5agai
n."
"
Ps5?
"
Il
augh.Shecl
ickshert
ongue.
"
It
'snotf
unny.
"
"
Iknowbutyousoundcut
ebewusi
siza.
"
Sheslapsmyarm andIki
ssher
.Si
necri
esandI
breaktheki
ssof
fgroani
ng.Iwi
shIdi
dn'
twakehi
m
up.
"
Let
'sgof
eedy'
al
l.
"
"
Whatdi
dyoucook?
"
I
'
m sur
eit
ssomeI
ndi
andi
sh.
"
SomeI
tal
iandi
shIf
oundonl
ine.
"
Thatsnew.Iknowwe' regoingtobeeat ingI
tal
ian
foodforthenextfewmont hsti
llshefindsanother
dishtoobsessover .Il
ikedherbetterwhenshe
couldn'
tcookbutIl ovehermor eeveryday.Wef i
nd
Amanda, NkosinathiandTshegoeat ing.Wegreet
them andijoi
nt hem asKuhl epassesmeSi nes
food.

AMANDA
Weeati nsil
ence.Thisf
oodisspi
cyashel lbutI
makenoef fortt
ell
ingKuhl
e.Bhut
iKhulekaniwalks
i
nsingingloudlyanditwasn'
tpl
easantatall.He
ki
ssesSi sTshegoscheekandopensthefridge
si
nging.
"
Minangi
yigagu.
Phumel
aezansi
.
Ozamaukungi
thi
ntal
ent
simbiyabel
ungui
zokhal
a
kanthat
u.
Bhekaamachar
tssonumber1.
Undukuzi
yiphabazaemcul
weni
.
Mangifakeisiphandl
angisi
that
hekimi
phel
ami
na
ngi
yibuzieyigqumayo!"
,Khul
ekani
.
Hekeepsquietmumbl
ingt
hantakesof
fhi
s
ear
phones.Hesti
ckst
hem i
nTshegosear
s.
"
Singt
heSot
hopar
t.
",
Khul
ekani
"
Idon'
tknowSot
ho.
",
Tshego
"
Kant
iwhat
'syourhomel
anguage?
",Khul
ekani
"
Tswana.
",
Tshego
"
Kyaf
anamahn.
",
Khul
ekani
Hepecksherli
psandsitsnexttoher.I
'venevermet
someonethi
scrazyinmylif
e.Ifeeleyesonmeand
Itur
naroundandlookatNkosinat
hi.
"
You'
rebeaut
if
ul.
",hemout
hs.
Ibl
ushandlookdownt
ryi
ngt
ocovermyf
acewi
th
mybrai
ds.
"Ayi
samoyizel
iint
ombikaNkosi
nat
hi.
"(Nkosi
nat
hi'
s
gir
lf
ri
endisblushi
ng.
)
Ever
yoneaut
omat
ical
lyl
ooksatmeandIcough.
"
Khul
ekani
!"
,Tshego.
"
What
?Weal
lknowt
heset
woar
edat
ing.
",
Khul
ekani
.
"
Awut
hul
eBaf
o."(
Keelqui
et.
),
Bheki
khaya.
Ist
andupandt
akemypl
ate.
"
I'
lleati
n..
.myr
oom.
"
"Ml
andeleNkosi
nat
hi.Iknowyouwantt
o."(
Fol
low
her
.)
,Khul
ekani
.
OhGod!Iwal
koutf
ast
er.Igeti
nmyr
oom andput
t
hepl
atedown.
"
Fuck!
"
It
hrowmyselfont
hebedandscream i
ntomy
pi
ll
ow.Thatwassoembar
rassi
ng.

NKOSI
NATHI
AssoonasAmandal
eftMal
umewasonmycase.
"Wena!Yourmotherandf
atheraresl
eepi
ngi
nthe
nextr
oom butyou'r
ebusywiththepoor
chi
ld.
",
Khulekani
MalumeBheki
khayashakeshi
sheadf
oldi
nghi
s
ar
ms.Ohsomebodyshootme.
"
Khul
ehl
ebat
hong.
",Tshego.
"
Youhear
dforyour
sel
fnawebaby.
",Khul
ekani
.
Hel
if
tshi
shandsandcl
oseshi
seyes.
"
Yes!Nkosi
nat
hi!Ir
ecei
ve!OhGodeeper
!"
,he
i
mit
atesamoaningwoman
Everybodylaughs.Icovermyf acewit
hbothhands.
IrunawaywhenMkhul uar r
iveswit
hhisgir
lf
ri
end.
Hisgirl
fr
iend.Soundswei r
dsayingit
.Isneakint
o
Amandasr oom.
'
Hey.
"
Shesi
tsupandsmi
lesatme.Iscr
atchmyhead.
"
Sor
ryaboutmyuncl
e.Hi
sani
diotsomet
imes.
"
Shel
aughs.
"
Iknow.I
t'
sokay.
"
"
Wannapl
ayvi
deogames?
"
"
Sur
e."
Shewear
shersl
ipper
s.Shehandsmeherpl
ate.
"
No.
"
"
Comeon.
"
"
Myuncl
ewi
llhavemyass.
"
Shestompsherfeetdramaticall
yandIfol
low
behi
ndher.Il
eanont hewal lsotheydon'
tseeme.
WhensheentersthekitchenMal umecannever
keepqui
et.
"
Makoti
.Uyayi
bonaintombikaNkosi
nat
hiBaba?
"
(
YouseeNkosinat
hi'
sgirl
fr
iend?
)
"
Khul
ekanil
eavemysi
steral
one.
"
Amandacomesoutandshepushesmewhenshe
seesme.
"
What
?",
iaskl
aughi
ng.
She'
l
lgetusedt
ohi
m.

OZO
Ir
eadt
hemessageIr
ecei
vedf
rom Seni
or
Khuzwayoagain.Itr
ulylovehi
sdaught erbutIcan'
t
goagai
nstmyownuncl e.YeahmeandOki rimight
nobebestbuddiesbuthi sf
amil
y.Iputmyphone
awayandtrygetti
ngbackt owork.Isighrubbing
myface.It
akeoutmyphoneandcal lThando.
"
Ozo.
"
"
Hey.
"
"
Youdon'
tsoundokay.
"
"
I'
m not
."
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"
Imi
ssyouandt
her
esbusi
ness.
"
"
Tal
ktome.
"
"
It
'snot
hingbi
g."
"
Whenyoureadyyou'l
ltel
lme.Justdontdwel
ltoo
muchonwhatevert
hemat teri
s."
"
Okay.Il
oveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Idr
opt
hecal
landt
extbackKhuzwayo.
"I
'
llhelpyoucapturehi
m butf
rom t
hereonwards
you'r
eonyourown.Nextt i
medon'tusemylovefor
yourdaughtert
ot r
yandgetyourway."
Isendthetextandthr
owmyphoneonemydesk.
WhatdoesOki r
iwantwit
htheKhuzwayo'
sagain?
Thisti
meI'm notsavi
nghi
m.Hisputt
ingThandos
l
ifeinri
sk.
59
UNYEZI
"AfterIcheat edonyouIr ealisedwhatitdidtoyou.I
putourl oveatr i
sk.Iturnedyoui ntot
hismonst er.I
ranawayyetIwaswr ong.Youhumbl edyour self
andt riedf i
xingthingsbet weenus.Istil
lregreti tt
il
l
todayandIknewi tstil
lhurtyoubutdidn'tknowt he
dept h.I'm sorryIevermadeyoudoubtmyl ove.I
l
oveyouUnyezi .Ilovedyout hefi
rstt
imeIsawyou
outsideDad' sbuildingsmoki ng.I
'vel
ovedyouever
since.I '
m sor r
yIeverdi dsomet hingl
ikethatt oyou.
Ipromi seonmyl ifetoneverevengetaner ection
foranot herwoman. "
Hi
shear
trat
eisbeat
ingr
api
dly.Ihavemyheadon
hi
schest.AsobbreaksthroughtheairandIsi
tup
andpullhi
mtomyl ap.Mymanneverpr et
endsto
bestr
ongknowingverywellhisnot.I
fsomethi
ng
hur
tshim he'
l
lcr
yandIl ovehimforthat.
"If
orgaveyou.I
'
mt r
yingt
or egai
nmytrustt
owar
ds
youandyou'remaki
ngiteasierf
orme.
"
"Iwassupposetoloveyou.Treatyouwithrespect.
Youdeserveahappilyeveraft
erfrom meafterall
you'
vegonethrough.IpromiseI'
m goingtopullup
mysocks."
"You'
vegavemethebestmemori
esandyousti
llar
e.
Idon'
tthi
nkIcanl
oveanyoneel
seinmyli
fet
ime."
"
Iloveyousomuchmawabo.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Heli
ft
stheoversi
zedT-
shir
tI'
m wear
ingandkisses
myinnert
highwheremy'X'i
sandIwipeatearthat
f
all
s.
"
Cry.Don'
thol
dback.
"
Hehol
dsmeandr ocksusbackandfort
h.Icr
y
whi
lehol
dingont
ohim asi
fhe'
lldi
sappear
.
MLUNGI
SI
"
You'
reunf
air
."
"
IknowbutIwasbeinghonest
.Ifhedoesn'
thel
p
methanmydaughterwi
lldi
e."
"
Youdi
dn'
tputi
tli
ket
hat
."
"
Iknow.I
'
m sor
ry.
"
"
Idon'
tgetyousomet
imes.
"
Sheget
sinbedandcover
sher
sel
f.Isi
tnextt
oher
.
"
Myl
ove?
"
Si
lence.
"
Mkami
."
"
I'
m notyourwi
fe.
"
"
Youwi
llbesoon.
"
"HambaMlungisi
.Iwantt
oal
ignmychakr
asand
prayf
oryou.
"(Go.)
Ipul
lthecoverf
rom herf
aceandki
ssher
.
"
Prayf
orme.
"
"
Iwi
ll
."
Iwearmybl ackl eat
hergl ovesandl eaveour
cott
age.Ever yonei sasl eep.Igetinmycarand
secur i
tyopensf orme.Ihonest lydidn'tt
hink
Sbusi sowillhaveOki risof ast
.Idr i
vetowher ehe
sentt hel
ocat ion.It'
sbyt heocean.Ican' tfi
ndt hem.
Iseet wopeopl eont hebr i
dgeovert hesea.Ir un
there.Thisisapubl icspace.Whyt hefuckwoul dhe
wantust omeetupher e?Wher e'sthesecurity?Iget
tothem andOki riistiedandonhi sknees.Hel ook
prettybeatenup.
"Hi
sallyours.Don'
tworr
yaboutt
heni
ghtguar
ds.
Theydon'tseeanythi
ng.
"
Inodathi
sst
atement
.Hel
eavesust
her
e.Oki
ri
l
aughs.
"
AhKhuzwayomybr
other
."
"
Shutup.
"
"I
'
m sur
prisedyoucaughtmesof
ast
.Thel
astt
ime
youweren'tsol
ucky.
"
"
Thel
astt
imeyouki
ll
edmywi
fe.
"
Hest
andsupweakl
y.
"Sheshoul
d'vebeenmi
ne!Youcameandtookher
from meandgavehert
hosebr at
syoucal
lchi
ldr
en!
Thosecould'
vebeenmykids!
"
"
Webot
hknowyouwoul
dn'
thave.
"
"Fuckyou!I
fIcouldki
llt
hatbi
tchIwoulddoi
tover
andoveragain.Shewassickanyways!
"
"ButyoudecidedtodowhatI
'
m aboutt
odowi
th
yourightnow.PlayGod.
"
"
ComeonKhuzwayo.Wecanwor
kthi
sout
."
"
Ali
fef
oral
if
e."
Ishoothim onhisglabell
aandheremainsst
il
l.I
shoothim onhischestandhefall
soverther
aili
ng
andfall
sintothesea.Ilookatt
hemoonandsi gh.
"
Just
icehasbeenser
ved.
"
Iwal
kont hesandybeachforawhi
lest
aringatthe
moon.Igobacktomycarwi thmyheartabitheavy.
Toni
ghtboughtbackalotofbadmemor i
es.Idri
ve
f
oranot
herhourbacktooursafehouse.Luckil
ythe
r
oadsareemptyIwould'
vecausedanacci dentwit
h
t
hewayIkeepzoningout.

(
INTHEMORNI
NG)
NOXOLO
Iam wokenupbyNdabenkhul uonacall
.Itsounds
seri
oussoIl i
mpt othebathr
oom.Myl egisheali
ng
butmyar m notsosoon.Heget sinwhenI'
m
brushi
ngmyt eeth.Hestandsbehindmeandl ays
hischi
nonmyshoul der
.Hel ooksatmethrough
themirr
or.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
If
ini
shbrushingmyteet
handwest
ayl
iket
hatf
or
awhi
le.Hecloseshi
seyes.
"
Msi
zii
sdead.
"
Mybodyfreezesf
oraminuteandInodslowly.He
hol
dsmychi nandIr
eal
iseI
'vebeennoddingfora
whi
le.Iwon'
tli
emyhearti
sbrokenabit
.Ionce
l
ovedthatmanandhegavemet
hemostpr
eci
ous
gi
fti
nmyl i
fe.
"
Whathappened?
"
"Hegoti
ntoafi
ghtwi
thagener
alandhest
abbed
himtodeat
h."
"
Agener
al?
"
"
Aleaderoft
he28'
s.
"
Inodandtryt
oform wor
dsonhowI
'
llt
ellSanel
e
hi
sfatheri
sdead.
"
Letmegot
ellSanel
e."
Wewalkoutt
oget
her
.IknockonLangaand
Sanel
esr
oom.
"
Comei
n."
Ihol
dNdabenkhul
u'sar
m.
"
Iwantt
odot
hisal
one.
"
Henodsandcal
lsLanga.Theyl
eaveust
oget
her
.
"
Heyboy.
"
"
Heymom.
"
"
You'
reokay?
"
"
Noschool.Vi
deogamesf
ood.You'
rehappy.Why
woul
dn'
tIbe?"
Ismi
let
imi
dly.
"
Yourf
ather
..
."
Hef
rowns.
"Uh.
..Hegoti
ntoaf
ighti
npr
ison.Theyst
abbed
him.
"
"
Hisdeadi
sn'
the?
"
"
Yes.
"
Her
emai
nsst
il
landbl
inks.
"
Hewasn'
texact
lyt
heper
fectf
atherbuthel
oved
me.Hedi
edwhil
eIwassoangryathim."
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
"
CanIpl
easebeal
one.
"
Inodandleavehi
m.I'
m metbyNdabenkhul
u
outsi
del
eaningwit
hhisf
oreheadont
hewall.
"
Isheokay?
"
"
Hisabi
tsad.
"
Henodsandhugsme.
"I
'
llbeouttoday.I
'
llgi
vey'al
lsomet
imet
omour
n
him.Iknowyoucar edforhi
m."
Inodandhepecksmyl
ipsandl
eaveswi
thhi
s
shoul
der
shanging.

KHULEKANI
It
sreallyhotandIwantt ot akeanap.Ihardlyslept
causeIknowhowsneakyMal udais.Shesuspect s
I'
m hidingsomething.I
'm wear i
ngal ongsleeve
ri
ghtnowandI '
m sweating.Idon'teventake
shower swit
hheranymor e.Shewal ksinwitha
shorttowelon.Ithardl
ycover shermi l
kythickt
his.
I'
vebeenavoi di
ngsexcauseshet riesundressi
ng
me.
"
Youcangoshower
."
"
Iwi
ll
."
Istandtherelooki
ngather.Iknowtheni
ggadown
therei
salreadypulsat
ing.Sheseesthet
entonmy
pantsandsmi r
ks.Shedr opshert owelandt urns
aroundandbendsexposi ngherpi nksvagi na.Iclear
myt hroatandgot ot
hebat hroom.I'mt akingacol d
shower .Istri
pnakedandt akeof fmybandage.I
l
ookatmywoundandi tsstil
lraw.Igeti nsidet he
showerandputmyhandsont hewal l
.Thedoor
opensandIcur se.If
orgottol ockthedoor .She
getsinbehi ndme.Shest artstouchingmyar mstil
l
myshoul der.IbitemylipsoIdon' tgrunt.She
squeezest hem.
"
AhmahnMal
uda!
"
Itakeherhandof
fandputmyhandovermywound.
Iturnar
oundandshehasherar
mswr appedand
herboobsareonmyface.
"
Expl
ain.
"
"
It
'snot
hing.
"
"
Reall
y?Whyhaveyoubeenhidi
ngthatwoundso
much?Unl
essyougotshott
hatnight
."
"
Gotshot
?HayimahnMal
uda.
"
"
Am Il
ying?
"
Shedoesthisthi
ngwit hhershouldersandneck
andshe'sonherbit
chmode.I fIsayshe'slyi
ng
she'
sgonnaf l
ipandstartscreamingthatI'
m calli
ng
herali
ar.I
fIsayshe'snotshe' smostdefinit
ely
gonnahavemyasst hatIgotshot .Futhihowdi d
shecomet otheconclusi
onthatIgotshot ?
"
I'
m wai
ti
ngonmyanswer
."
"Babeit
'sasmal
lwound.Iscr
appedmyshoul
der
bladenothi
ngmaj
or.
"
"
Letmesee.
"
Shestandsonhertoesandlooksatmywound.She
dragsm thr
oughherteet
ch.
"
Scr
apped?Tr
yagai
nKhul
ekani
."
"
OkayIl
ostbal
anceandf
ellonsomebot
tl
es.
"
"
That
snotacut
."
"
Whatdoyouwantmet
osaykodwaMal
uda?
"
"
Thet
rut
h."
Uyahl
anya.
"
Whatt
rut
h?"
"
Khul
ekani
."
"
What
?"
"
Tal
k."
"
Eish.I
tsafl
eshwoundbaby.Thebul
letdi
dn'
tgo
t
hrough."
Shecl
ickshert
ongueandshovesherf
ingeronmy
wound.Iscr
eam.
"
AchuMal
uda!
"
Shedoesi
tagai
nandIhol
dherhandt
hist
ime.Thi
s
onei
sabull
y.
"
Whydi
dn'
ttheyshootyourbl
oodybr
ainout
?"
"
Ehyouwantmedead?
"
"Ostl
aelavel
e.Ifonotl
okaf
etseonotl
oet
sang?"
(You'
reanidi
otanyway.I
fyouhaddiedwhatwer
e
yougonnado? )
Y'
al
lseewhenshespeaksSot
hoshel
osesme.
"Khul
ekaniomotoamahn.Hawubat l
agoswao
buekeobulayenna.
"(You'
reol
dman.Ifyouwanna
diedi
etellmeandI'
l
lkil
lyou.
)
InodeventhoughIdon'
tunder
standwhatshe'
s
sayi
ng.Iwi
shIhadmyphoner ightnow.Tr
ansl
ator
wouldhel
prightnow.
"
Youhear
dme?
"
"
Yeahbabe.
"
"
Whatdi
dIsay?
"
"
That
..
.uhwenauzabua.
"(Youwi
llt
alk.
)
Shepi
nchesmeandIj
ump.
"
Isai
difyouwannadi
etel
lmeandI
'
llki
llyou.Wi
th
mybarehands.
"
"
You'
recapabl
evel
e."
,Imumbl
e.
"
War
eng?
"
"
Sorrybaby.I
'
llbemorecar
eful
.I'
l
lst
opact
ingl
ike
Arnol
dSchwazzenegar
."
Shepoimtsachubbyf
ingeratmeandt
urnsar
ound.
Ipul
lherback.
"
Uyaphi
?"
"
I'
m goi
ngt
ogetdr
essed.
"
"
Hel
pmeout
."
"
Wit
hwhat
?"
"
YouknowI'
m hur
tandIseem t
obehavi
ngi
ssues
wit
hwashi
ngmydick.
"
Shel
aughs.
"
I'
m goi
ngt
ogetdr
essed.
"
Irubmyer ect
iononherassandshepurrs.Myhand
tr
avelst
ohershavedvaginaandIpartherli
ps.
She'sal
readywet.Ir
ubhercli
tandshearchesher
backint
ome.
"
Khul
ekani
."
"
SthandwaSam.
"
ShemoanswhenIinser
tafi
ngeri
nher.She'swet
enough.It
urnusar
oundandmakeherbalanceon
thewall
.
"
Youhavet
opul
lout
.Idi
dn'
tbr
ingmypi
ll
s."
Weeeehshamemi nangiyi
bonel
aumawengane
zami
.Iinser
tmyselfinherandIgr
oanather
ti
ght
nessandwarmt h.Sdudl
asamimadoda!
Ngyof
elal
aef
elakhona!

KUHLEKONKE
Amandawalksi
ntomyr oom andget
sinbednextt
o
me.Hereyesar
ejustaspuff
y.
"
HappyBi
rt
hdayst
handwa.
"
"
Thankssi
s."
Wesiti
nsil
ence.She'
sfi
nal
lyt
urned18.She'
s
gr
ownsomuch.I t
ssadhowadaywher eweshoul
d
becel
ebrat
ingi
sthemostsaddestt
ous.
"Iwentt
ocheckuponSanel eandLangaearl
ieron.
IfoundSaneleal
onecryi
ng.Apparent
lyhi
sfather
died.Mybir
thdayisr
eall
ycursed.
"
"
Nost
handwa.Somet
hingshappen.
"
"Buti
fwehadn'twenttocel
ebr at
emybi r
thdayt
han
wewoul dn'
thavegot
tenint
ot hatacci
dent.
SometimesIwishIhaddiedandmom anddad
survi
ved.It
ookthem awayfrom you."
"
NoAmandawe'
renotdoi
ngt
hisagai
nthi
syear
.
Thatdr
unktruckdri
vertookthem f
rom us.Iknowit
hurt
sbutdon'tt
hinkl
ikethat
.Ican'
timaginemyl i
fe
wit
houtyou.
"
"Imi
ssthem someti
mes.Imi ssDad'sjokesand
mom'sshyness.Theywer ethehappi
estcouple.I
ts
beenyear
sbutitsti
llhur
ts."
"Thi
ski
ndofpaindoesn'
thealeasil
y.I
thurt
sme
someti
meslikewhenIwentthroughdepr
ession
andIwishedmom wasther
et ohelpme.Inever
metouragaincausehel
ookedsomuchl ikeDad."
"
Iwonderi
ftheyevermi
sst
hem.
"
"Whowouldn'
tmissthosetwo?Theywer ethemost
ki
ndestpeopl
eI'
veevercomeacr oss.Remember
howDadboughthobosever yweekhomeand
hel
pedthem onthei
rfeet
?"
"
Heusedt
osayt
heywer
eourbr
other
s."
"
Thosewer
ethedays.
"
Webot
hsi
gh.
"Let
sdosomethi
ngdif
ferentt
odayandst
opsul
king.
Yourbaki
ngski
ll
shaveimprovedri
ght
?"
Shenods.
"Wegoingt
obakeacakesi nceourbakerishurt
.
Wegoingtocookoneofmom' srecipe'
s.Setatabl
e
out
sidebythepoolandhaveami nipart
yforyou."
"
Ifeell
ikest
ayi
ngi
ndoor
sandeat
ingi
cecr
eam.
"
"
I'
llgetNkosi
nat
hit
ochanget
hatmi
ndset
."
"Asif.Heknowstost
ayawayonmybi
rt
hdays.I
'
m
goingtosleep.
"
"
Please.Manda.
"
Sheget soutofbedanddr agsherselft
owar dsthe
door.Isitupandl ookatthedoorasi tshutsbehind
her.Ican'tbakebutI'm sureNoxolocaninstructme.
I'
m notgoodwi t
hcookingsof tcar
rotpapbutmy
brotheri
nl awisachef .Iknowhowsheget sonher
bir
thday.PoorNkosi nathihastobetheonet oget
heroutofbedal one.Igetintheshower .Ihope
Bhekikhayaf edmychi l
dwher everheis.
60
LANGALAKHE
WhyIl
etUnyezit
alkmei
ntohel
pingoutwi
th
Amandasparty.I
'mfryi
ngthemeatwi t
habeerin
hand.Wehardlysl
eptizol
oandI'mtir
ed.Iyawnand
shelaughsgi
vingmeanener gi
zer.
"
ThandoandNal
edydi
dgood.
"
Shesayslooki
ngar oundsmi li
ng.Theysuredid
makesomet hi
ngoutoft hespace.Sheleansint
o
meandIki ssherhead.Dadi ssitt
ingunderthetree
al
readysi
ppinghisbr andy.Hehasn'ttakenhiseyes
offNal
edy.Hissosmi t
tenit
'snotevenfunny.
"
Unyezi
!"
Shet ur
nstoKuhl
e'
svoice.Shewal
ksovertoher
.I
feelatugonmylegandlookdown.Nkanyezi
is
dressedinhi
sswim shor
ts.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
Il
aughandhegi ggl
esaswel l
.Hecallsmet hat
somet i
mes.Hehear dhismothercal
lmet hatafew
ti
mesandheneverl ookedback.Il
if
thim upandhe
pointsatt
hemeat .Nowt hi
saKhuzwayo.Realmen
l
ovemeat .Ishakemyheadpoi ntatUnyeziwho's
carryi
ngabowloff ood.
"
Mamashout
snj
e."
"
Atl
eastyouknowherwel
l.Wai
tti
llwedi
shup.
"
RemindmewhyIhavet ospeakEnglishwithmy
son?Ohsohedoesn' tst
rugglemuchi nschool
.
Kodwamyboywi llbeapussy.Langapasseswi t
h
Saneleandthey'
reinaseri
ousconversati
on.Sanele
l
ooksshatteredandknowingmybr ot
herguilti
s
eati
nghim up.
"
Bhut
i!Letmego!
"
Iputhi
m downandher
unst
owar
dshi
sbr
other
s.
"
Nkanyezist
opr
unni
ng!
",hi
smot
hershout
s.
Hewal
kstothem andhugst
hem bot
h.Theyt
ake
hi
m wi
thandtheygochil
lwi
thDad.
"
Whyi
sDadnotdoi
nganyt
hingagai
n?"
,Iaskt
hem.
"Hey!Ihavesonsanddaught
ers.Gr
andchi
ldren
ngaphezulu.Phi
ti
zel
ani
.Fut
himywifeshouldsit
down."
"
Eh.MaGemashoul
dal
sosi
tdown.
"
"
Awut
hul
ewena.
"(Shutup.
),
Dad.
Imumbl
eandhel
aughswhi
lest
andi
ngup.
"Bowubonai
ntombiyakhouyaphapha.
"(Whenyou
seeyourgi
rl
fr
iendyou'
refor
ward.)
"
Heh?Uyakhul
uma?
"(You'
ret
alki
ng?
)
"
Cah.
"(No)
Unyezil
aughsatmeandIthrowheralook.Ihand
themeattoherandki
ssherbri
efl
y.Iputmyhand
onherwaistandbendsoIcanwhisperi
ntoherear.
"
Iloveyou.Umuhl
eyezwa?
"(You'
rebeaut
if
ul.
)
Shegi
ggl
esl
ikeaschoolgi
rlandwhi
sper
s.
"
Iloveyout
oo.Thankyou.
"
Il
etgoofherandshewal
ksaway.If
oll
owherwi
th
myeyes.Shecomesbackt
omeandyawns.
"
Pleasegomakemesomecof
fee.
"
"
Youknowyoucan'
tdr
inkcof
fee.
"
"
I'
m notsi
cknj
e."
"Butyouwi
llbe.Caf
fei
necangi
veyouacar
diac
att
ack."
"
Ist
il
ldon'
tgetwhatt
hathast
odowi
thme.
"
"
You'
rehuman.
"
Sheshakesherheadwalkingaway.Idon'
tknow
howlongIcankeeponlyingtoher.She'
sgoingto
not
icesoonbutbett
ershef i
ndsoutonherown.
"
Unyezi
!"
Ilookatherasshebal
ancesonKuhlekonke.Ir
un
towardsherandhel
phersitdown.Ihandhera
glassofwaterKuhl
epassestome.
"
Youokay?
"
"
Yeah.I'
vebeenget
ti
ngt
hesedi
zzyspel
lsl
atel
yand
ali
tt
lenausea.
"
"
Maybei
tst
hei
nject
ion.
"
"I
'
vebeenusi
ngt
hiscont
racept
ivesi
nceIgave
bir
th.
"
Idropmyeyesandcl
earmyt
hroat
.Dadwal
ks
towardsus.
"
Makot
iyou'
reokay?
",Dad.
"
YeboBaba.
",
Unyezi
.
"
Maybehegotyoupr
egnantagai
n."
,Dad.
"
Noway.
",
Unyezi
.
Hesmi
lesandwal
ksawaywhi
stl
ingaf
tereyei
ng
me.
"Pr
obabl
ybecauseyou'
ret
ir
ed.Letmegetyout
o
bed.
"
Il
if
therupandt
akehert
oourr
oom.I
'
mfucked.

NKOSI
NATHI
"
Manda.
"
"
Mmmmh?
"
"
Lookatme.
"
Sher
emai
nsl
ayi
ngf
aci
ngawayf
rom me.
"
Tji
napot
ra.
"
Shetur
nsar
ound.Il
owert
hevolumeonherspeaker
.
Shesit
supandl
ooksatme.Hereyesar
ereal
ly
puf
fy.
"
You'
reokay?
"
ShenodsandIr ubmyf
ace.Isuckatt
hese
emoti
onalt
hings.
"Canyounotbesadtoday?Canyounotcl
oseof
fon
us?Justf
ortoday?Babysteps?
"
Shewipesawayhertear
sandsni
ff
s.Ipul
lheron
mylapandkissbot
hhereyes.
"
Ihatefeeli
ngthiswaybutIcan'thel
pit
.Ihat
e
r
eminiscingaboutthatday.Ihat
ehowIremember
t
hei
rscr eams.Ihat
e-"
Sheshakesherheadandst ar
tscr
ying.Irubher
backsoothi
ngl
ywhil
ewhi speri
ngsweetnothingsi
n
herear.Shest
opswhenshehashi ccups.MyT-
shir
tiswetwit
hhertear
sandshe'shol di
ngon
ti
ghtl
yonme.
"Iknowithurts.IwishIcoul
dmakeitbetter.Iwi
shI
couldtakeallthepainonyourbehal
f.Ihateseei
ng
youlikethi
s."
Iwi
pehert
earwi
thmyt
humbsandki
ssherl
ips.
"
Shoul
dIsi
ngf
oryout
omakei
tbet
ter
?"
Shel
aughsabi
tandpunchesmyshoul
dersl
ight
ly.
"
You?Si
ng?No.Idon'
twantt
orui
nmyhear
ing.
"
Ichuckl
eatt
hatshaki
ngmyhead.
"
I'
m ser
ious.
"
"
Ohwel
l.Ki
llme.
"
Il
etgoofherandhandher
,herphone.
"
Youmi ghtwanttotakeavi
deocausethisisthi
sis
t
hefi
rstandthelastti
meI'
m si
ngingforyou."
Sheroll
shereyesandIcl
earmythroat
.Justwhen
I
'm aboutt
osingther
eisaknockonthedoor.
"
Comei
n."
MalumeKhul
ekaniwal
ksi
nandsmi
leshi
sgoof
y
dumbsmil
easusual.
"
RomeoandJul
iet
."
,Khul
ekani
.
"
Mal
ume.
",Ichuckl
e.
"
Ihear
dmakotiwasn'
tokayt
oday.Waswonder
ing
whywewerehavi
ngporri
dgeforbr
eakf
ast
t
oday.
",
Khul
ekani
.
Weal
lchuckl
e.Mom madebr
eakf
astt
odayandshe
madesoftporri
dgeasusual.Ever
yonecompl
ained
butUnyeziKhuzwayohadthem eati
ngi
tandmade
surewefini
shedit
.
"
Sot
ellmewhat
'swr
ongmakot
i?"
,Khul
ekani
.
Hesi
tsont
hecouchandl
ooksatus.
"
Not
hingmuch.
",
Manda.
"Icoul
dhearyoucryi
ngacr
osst
he
hall
way."
,Khul
ekani
.
Weal
lkeepqui
et.Thi
sissoawkwar
d.
"Wel
lIwassentheret
otel
ly'
al
ltogetr
eadybyt
his
onesbul
lymother
."
,Khul
ekani
.
Hest
andsupandopensthedoor
.Hehalt
sonhis
st
epandremai
nsst
andingwit
hhisbackt
owar
dsus.
"Amanda.Iknowt hepainofl osi
ngapar entandi t
s
onewoundt hatneverheals.Asgr ownasIam
sometimesIneedmymot her.Don'tdwel ltoomuch
onthesadness.Getof ft
hatbed.Cel ebrat eyour
bir
thday.DoitforyourparentsandKuhl ekonke.
Carrythemindsetthatyou'remakingt hem pr oud
andtheywillal
waysbewi thyouar ound.I t
snever
easybutcr
yingwon'
tmakei
teasy.
",
Khul
ekani
.
Hest
epsoutandcomesbacki
n.
"
Ohandcr
yingmal
esyoul
osewei
ght
."
,Khul
ekani
.
Hecl
osesthedooragai
nandwehearhim si
ngi
ng
somemaskandisongdownthehal
lway.
"
Youhear
dhi
m.Getup.
"
Shest
andupandshedoesl
ookl
ikeshel
ostabi
tof
wei
ght.
"
You'
ret
aki
ngashowerwi
thme?
"
"
No.Webot
hknowwe'
l
lnevergetout
."
Inodunder
standi
ngl
ysmi
li
ng.Iki
ssherf
orehead.
"
Seeyoui
nasec.Beal
ri
ght
."
ShenodsandIexi
t.Ihearhermusi
cpl
ayagai
nand
Isi
gh.

KUHLEKONKE
"
You'
resur
eshe'
scomi
ng?
",IaskKhul
ekani
.
"
Yes.Rel
ax.
",Khul
ekani
.
"
Shebet
tercome.I
'
m wear
ingj
eansf
ort
his.
",Langa.
Weal
llaughhi
m.Hi
sbeencompl
aini
ngsi
nce.
"
Letmegetussomewi
ne.
",
Unyezi
.
Shestandupandgetsabot
tle.Shepour
susgirls
gl
assesandhandsitt
ous.Weal lst
andupandgo
si
tawayfrom t
hel
oudmen.Langacomet owar
ds
usandtakest
heglassfr
om Unyezi.
"
Hai
bo.Langa.
",Unyezi
.
"
Sorr
ybabe.Canyoust
ickt
othej
uicef
or
t
oday?"
,Langa.
"
Why?Gi
vememygl
ass.
",
Unyezi
.
"
CanIt
alkt
oyou?
",Langa.
Hepul
lsherasi
dehandi
ngt
hewi
net
oNal
edy.She
gul
psi
tdown.
"
Shame.I t
sgoi
ngt
obeal
ong9mont
hswi
thout
wine.
",Nal
edy.
Weal
llookather
.
"
Huh?
",Thando.
"
Not
hing.
",
Nal
edy.
Weallshr
ugt
alki
ngandwai
ti
ngf
orAmandat
opop
up.

UNYEZI
"
Ican'
tdr
inknow?
",Ishoutwhi
sperathi
m.
"
Yes.
"
Il
ookathi
m nast
yandher
ubshi
sface.
"
Look.Youcan'
tdr
ink.
"
"
Why?Si
ncewhenar
eyout
hathusband?
"
"
It
snotaboutt
hat
.Tr
ustme.Justdon'
tdr
ink.
"
"
I'
m goi
ngt
osl
eep.
"
It
rywal
kingawaybuthehol
dmywai
st.
"
Unyezi
."
Il
ookathi
m.
"
Cal
m down.I
t'
snott
hatdeep.Justdon'
tdr
ink.
"
"
Ifi
tsnotcof
feei
t'
swi
ne.You'
ret
reat
ingmel
ikeI
'
m
pr
egnant
."
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandscr
atcheshi
sbear
d.
"
No.I
tsjustt
heki
dsar
eher
eandIdon'
twantt
hem
t
oseeyoudrunk.
"
"
But
-"
"
Please.Don'
tfi
ghtmeont
his.
"
"
Fine.
"
Hesi
ghsi
nrel
iefandki
ssesme.
"
I'
llgetyousomeor
angej
uice.
"
Inodandhewalksaway.Il
ookathim.Hisupto
somethi
ngandhecan'
tevensitst
il
lwit
hit.Iwal
k
backt
othegir
ls.

THANDO
I'
vebeentryi
ngtogetahol
dofOzot onoavailt
oday.
Ireal
lymisshim.Welastt
alkedinthemorning
whenItoldhim we'
l
lbecomi ngbacksoon.Hedi d
tel
lmeaboutwhattranspi
redbetweenmyDadand
hisuncl
e.Iknowmyf amil
y'sotherdir
tysi
de.He
al
soi nf
ormedmeaboutmyhospi t
allookingr eady
andthatinspectionswer edoneandever ythingwas
safeandr eady.Final
ly!Ili
kedthelit
tl
ebui ldingwe
wereusingbuti twasn'tmi ne.Unyeziwillli
ket hi
s.
We'repreparingforthegrandopeni ng.Ihat eddoing
stuf
fovert hephone.Ever ybodystandsandsi ngs
asAmandaandNkosi nathiwal ksi
n.Poorchi l
dis
soshyandawkwar d.
"
Thankyou.
",shesaysshyl
y.
"
Makot
i!
",Khul
ekani
.
Weal llaughexceptLangaandNdabenkhul u.They
don'treallyli
ket hi
srelat
ionshipbutNkosinathi
seemst olikethisgir
l.Fr
om whatI 'vebeentoldthey
shouldl ettheset wodate.They'renotfamil
yaf t
er
allbutthel astti
meIsai dthatLangaal mostbitmy
headof f.Kuhl etakesthemi c.ThatwasDad' sidea.
Dramat icshoul dIsay.Wecanhearpr ett
ywel l
.
"Amandamysi st
er.Onl
y.Thisist
hefi
rstti
mei n
yearswe'
recel
ebrati
ngagain.Imi
ssedthat.I
missedsi
ngingthehappybirt
hdaysongforyou..
."
Izoneoutaf
tert
hat
.Idon'
tli
kespeeches.
Nkosi
nat
higet
sonst
ageandt
akest
hemi
c.
"
Idon'
treal
lyunder
standwhatt
hemi
cisf
or.
",
Nkosi
nathi
.
Wealll
augh.Weal
lscr
eam,
"It
syourGr
anpas
i
dea.
"
"
Yeyi
!Uset
hemi
c!"
,Dad.
Wel
aughhar
der
.
"Okay.Iwasgoi ngtosingfort
hel
adyofthe
eveningearli
eronbutMal umeKhul
ekanidist
urbed
us.Mom t houghtitwouldbeagoodideatosing
now.",Nkosinat
hi.
Il
ookupfrom myphoneandl ookatmynephewas
hebr
eathesi
nandout .Ican'
tremembert
helast
ti
meIheardhi
m si
nging.

AMANDA
Everyonei
slooki
ngatNkosi
nathi
.Hismotherlooks
l
ikesheisabouttobur
stinj
oy.NowayNkosi nathi
cansing.I
'
veneverheardhi
m si
nging.Noteven
once.
"
Imeantitearl
ierwhenIsai
dyoumi ghtwantto
t
akeavideooft hi
sTji
napot
racauseitsafi
rstand
l
ast
."
,Nkosinathi.
Everyonet
akesoutt
hei
rphones.Abeatpl
ays.I
t
soundsfamil
iar
.
"
Areyouonyourway?
Ar
eyoucomi
n'soont
ome?
Nopar
kingi
nLA
SoI
'
masendaUbert
oyourpl
ace
I
smysecr
etsaf
e?
Saf
ewi
thj
ustyouandme
Wecan'
tleaveat
race
Thi
sismyf
avor
it
emi
stake
Ohh,
looki
nmyeyes
Canyouf
indt
hel
ies?Doyouf
eelal
ive?
Looki
nmyeyes
Doyoumi
ndt
hel
ies?Doyouf
eelal
ive?
Looki
nmyeyes
Webot
hknowi
t'
swr
ongbutyou'
rest
il
lcomi
n'over
Evenwhenyou'
regonet
hef
eel
in'
justgr
owst
ronger
Shoul
dleavei
tal
onebutyou'
rest
il
lget
ti
n'cl
oser
Webot
hknowi
t'
swr
ong,
can'
tkeept
hisf
orl
ong
Whi
lei
t'
sgoi
ngon,
I'
llputi
tinasong
Ar
eyouonyourway?Ar
eyoucomi
n'soont
ome?
I
'
m get
ti
n'i
mpat
ient
,lookatwhatyoudot
ome
Oursecr
et'
ssaf
esoyou'
remyf
avor
it
emi
stake
That
'swhywegot
takeepi
tont
hel
ow
Gi
rlathomebutshedon'
tneedt
oknow
What
'sgoi
ngon,
itwon'
tbeonf
orl
ong,
no
Ohh,
looki
nmyeyes
Canyouf
indt
hel
ies?Doyouf
eelal
ive?
Looki
nmyeyes
Doyoumi
ndt
hel
ies?Doyouf
eelal
ive?
Looki
nmyeyes
Webot
hknowi
t'
swr
ongbutyou'
rest
il
lcomi
n'over
Evenwhenyou'
regonet
hef
eel
in'
justgr
owst
ronger
Shoul
dleavei
tal
onebutyou'
rest
il
lget
ti
n'cl
oser
Webot
hknowi
t'
swr
ong,
can'
tkeept
hisf
orl
ong
Whi
lei
t'
sgoi
ngon,
I'
llputi
tinasong.
"
Hej ustsangourfavouri
tesong.I
'
m actual
lygladI
tookavi deonow.Ididn'
tknowhehadsuchagr eat
voice.Ifel
tgoosebumpsont opofgoosebumps.We
allclapandhewal kstowardsmesmili
ng.Weshar e
al onghug.Hewi pesmyt ear
sandwhispers.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
",Iwhi
sperback.
Wesepar ateandtakeaseat.Iwonderwhocooked
causet hi
ssmellsamazing.Ieyethecakeandsmi le.
Beautif
ul.Ihol
dbacktears.Mom woul dbesopr oud
ofthefami l
yherdaughteri
smar ryi
nginto.Iki
ss
Kuhlescheekandwhi spera'thankyou.'
shesmi l
es
wit
ht earsinhereyes.
61
MONTHSLATER
OZO
Iwalkoutofthemeetingcarryi
ngmybr i
efcaseand
standinfr
ontoftheelevat
or.Ireplyt oatextfr
om
mymom andputmyphonebacki nt omypocket .
Herscenthit
smeagai nandIt enseupabi t.We
wereinameet i
ngdiscussingopeni nganot her
branchandherscentmademedi zzyt hr
oughout
thewholemeeting.Shestandsnextt ome.
"
MsKhuzwayo.
"
"
MrBut
hel
ezi
."
,shegr
eet
sback.
Il
ookatherandsher emainslooki
ngatt heelevat
or.
Herphoneringsastheel evat
orpingsandar r
ives.
Webot hst
epi nandst andagooddi stancef
rom
eachother
.She'sont hephonewi ththatsonofa
bit
chsheleftmef or
.Iclenchmyj awsandl oosen
myt i
e.
"
Iloveyout
oo.
",shegi
ggl
esandendst
hecal
l.
WhentheelevatorstopsIexi
tfi
rstandpasst he
r
ecepti
on.Everyoneislooki
ngatmeandI '
m sure
t
heycanseehowpi ssedIam.Ishould'veknown
t
hatfal
li
ngforayounggi rlwasar i
sk.Sheleftme
forsomeonewhowasherage.Igetinsidemycar
andIpunchthest
eer
ingwheelfur
iously.
"
Dammi
tThando!
"
Itakeoffmysui tjacketandmyt ie.Iunbottont he
fi
rsttwobut t
onsonmyshi rt
.Itsbeenover9
mont hssinceshel eftmef orthatscumbagt hat
call
edherahoodr at.Hef oundoutshewasact uall
y
veryweal t
hyandst artedhitt
ingonherandbecause
she'saf ucki
ngclownshechosehi m.Idon' tget
howshewentt ohi m.Thesexwasgood.I
respectedher.Iknewherper i
oddat es.Iremi nded
hertotakeherpi l
ls.Argh!Iseeherget ti
ngi ntoher
carandIst artt
hei gnit
ion.Idriveoffangril
yal most
causinganacci dent.

THANDO
Iwatchhiscarasitdr
ivesoff
.Abi tofsadness
doesengulfmebutIbrushitoff.Hissti
llangryat
meandIwi shhecouldunderstand.Sthembi sois
thechosenonefrom me.Speakingofhim, Itransf
er
somemoneyt ohim.Igetint
omycaranddr iveoff
theopposit
edir
ecti
on.Theki dsarevi
sit
ingme
todaysoIhavetocookearly.Itakeaquickshower
andgetdressedinanoversizedT-shi
rt
.Icutthe
vegetabl
eswhil
eI'm ont
hephonewi t
hUnyezi.
"Yourbrot
her
sar
enotkeenonmeet
ingt
hisguyof
yours.
"
"
I'
dbesur
pri
sedi
ftheywer
e."
"
Whatdi
dyousayhi
ssur
namewasagai
n?"
"
SthembisoMkhwanazi
.You'
real
waysaski
ngme
t
hat.Why?"
"I
tsoundsf
ami
li
arbutl
et'
shopei
tsnott
heoneI
know."
"Uh.
..Okay.Letmefi
nishcooki
ngbef
oret
hose
brat
sofyour scome.
"
"
I'
m st
il
latwor
k.Ihaveonemor
epat
ient
."
"I
fLangassuspi
cionswer er
ealyouwoul
dbeat
homewi t
hswoll
enf eetandabigtummy.
"
"Yourbr
otherkodwa.Iwasreadyt
oki
llhi
m.Ican'
t
haveanotherki
drightnow.
"
"
Naweyouwer
eal
wayshavi
ngdi
zzyspel
ls.
"
"
Ichangedt
hecont
racept
ive.Iopt
edf
orpi
ll
sthi
s
t
ime."
"
Heh!GuesswhoIsawt
oday?
"
"
Who?
"
"
Rememberwehadaboar
dmeet
ingt
oday?
"
"
Yes.
"
"AndSbusi
soi
saboar
dmemberandashar
ehol
der
aswell
."
"
Oooooh.Thet
ensi
onIcani
magi
ne.
"
"YohUnyezi!Hedidn'
teventakeparti
nthemeeti
ng.
Hej ustsi
gnedthepaperworkfort
hemoneyneeded
sincehisourbi
ggestinvest
orandwalkedout
."
"
Youl
ie!It
houghthewasgoi
ngt
opul
lout
."
"
Met
oobuthi
sst
il
linvest
ing.
"
"
Hisasweetguyt
hou.Hott
oo.
"
Il
aughabi
t.
"
Wor
sewhenIwentt
ocat
chanel
evat
ornayehe
wast
her
e.Tensi
on!
"
"
Hah!Awkwar
d!"
"Yeyi!Westoodther
eandmyphoner ang.WhenI
saidIloveyoutoSthehelosti
t.St
ormedoutof
there.Hedroveawaysofast.
"
"
Yoh!Yourl
if
eisamovi
eshamesweet
hear
t.
"
"
Iknowr
ight
?'
"Ver
ymuch.Mypat
ienti
sher
e.Byebabe.Love
you.
"
"
Loveyou.
"
Wedropt
hecal
landIgetbackt
ocooki
ngwhi
le
l
ist
eni
ngt
omusic.

NKOSI
NATHI
Ijustcamebackf rom soccertrai
ningandI'
m
exhausted.Iopenmyapar tmentandl eavethedoor
openf orf
reshair.It
sOctoberandi ti
scrazyhot!I
throwmybagont hefl
oorandl ayonmybed.It ook
ashoweraf tert
raini
ngsoIcl osemyeyes.My
phonegoesof
fandIt akei
toutofmypocket
.It
san
Inst
agr
am not
if
icat
ion.
'
MandaWaves21i
sli
ve.
'
ThatsAmandasuser nameonI nstagr am.Icl i
ckon
i
tandherf acecomest oshow.She' slaughi ngat
somet hing.Thecamer amovesandt hatsimpni gga
ofher scomest odisplay.Thingsdi dn' tworkout
betweenussowedeci dedt omoveon.Sheseems
happywi t
ht hisnewguyofher s.AboAmanda
bayajola.Whodat esani ggawi thtwoearpi er
cings
andanosepi ercing?Nxai !Ilogoutandt hrowmy
phoneonmybed.Ist andupandgocl osemydoor
andt urnont heai rcondi ti
oner.Iwi shIcoul dr olla
j
ointandsmokebutI 'mt ryi
ngoutf orSundownsso
Ihadt oqui t
.It extoneofmyboot ycal lstocome.
Thei deaofanot herniggat appingTj inapot r
ai s
dri
vingmecr azy.Irespectherr el
ationshi pbutshe
can'tletthatniggasmashMYpussy.Wer eallytri
ed
maki ngitwor kbutwebot hagr eedt hatwej ustmet
tooear l
y.I'
m st il
lgoingt omar ryhert hou.She' s
mine.
LANGA
Idr
iveof
fwi
thNkanyeziandLamif
ight
ing.
"
Khuzwayo!
",Nkanyezi
.
"
Baba!
",Lami
.
"St
opitmanyout
wo!Lami
leavet
hechi
ldal
one!
",I
shoutatt
hem.
"
It
smyphonet
hou.
",Lami
.
"
Bor
rowhi
m."
Heexhalesandlaysbackont heseat.Sanele
l
aughsshakinghi shead.Hisusedt othei
rfrequent
fi
ghti
ng.Iam not!It
sannoying!Iparkinthevi si
tor
s
parki
ng.Iseehercatwal koutthebuildi
ng.I'
m
tr
eati
ngherquitegood.She'st hi
ckandgl owing.
Shegetsinthecarandpecksmyl i
ps.
"
Euw!
",Lami
.
"
Hayisuka!Unj
anist
handwasami
?",
Unyezi
.
"I
'
m okay/I'
m greatmama!
",meandNkanyezi
say
si
multaneously.
OhIf
orgothi
sal
soherst
handwa.Thi
schi
ldi
s
t
aki
ngupmyspace.Unyezil
aughs.
"Ki
ds.Y'
allr
eadyfort
heweekendwi
thAunt
Thando?
",Unyezi
.
"
Weal
waysr
eady!
/Yes!
/Al
ways!
",t
heyexcl
aim.
Idr
iveoffasNkanyezit
ell
shismot
herabout
car
toons.Thi
sonecant al
k!
"
RightKhuzwayo?
",Nkanyezi
.
"
Yeahson.
"
Idi
dn'
tevenhearwhathewast
alki
ngabout
.
"
I'
mt el
li
ngyoumama!IwantaPJMasksbedr
oom
t
oo."
,Nkanyezi
.
"YouhadaSpongebobdecodonemont
hs
ago."
,Unyezi
.
That
sal
readyano.
"
Yeahbut
-"
"
NoNkanyezi.Wher
ear
ewesupposedt
ogett
he
money?
",Unyezi
.
She'
ssost
ingysomet
imes.Idon'
tevenwantt
oget
i
nvol
ved.
"
Daddy?
",Nkanyezi
.
NowI'm Daddy?Il
ookathi
smom andshegi
vesme
aneye.Icl
earmythroat
.
"
Son.Yourmot
heri
sri
ght
."
Andthecr
yingbegi
ns.One!Two!Asswhoopi
ng!
ThankGodIboughtt
heAvanza.
"
Myphone!
",Lamishout
s.
"Aaaaaaaaaaah!
",Nkanyeziscr
eamsashi
smot
her
slapshisass.
"OuchNkanyezi!
",Saneleshout
swhenNkanyezi
kickshim whenhi
st r
yingtorunawayf
rom hi
s
mot her
.
Ialr
eadyhaveaheadache.I'
m gl
adUnyezii
sn'
t
pregnant
.We'r
enotreadyforanot
herchi
ld.
"
MaGema.Yek'
ingane.
"(Leavet
hechi
ldal
one.
)
Shel
et'
shi
m gocl
icki
nghert
ongue.
"
Ungal
ingeukhal
e!"(
Dontevendar
ecr
y.)
,Unyezi
.
"Don'
tcryson.MaGemauyekeukushayai yi
ngane
zam.ZololokhubowushayauNkosi nathieguge
kangaka."(
Stophi
tt
ingmychildren.Recent l
yyou
werehitt
ingNkosi
nathiwhi
lehissool d.)
"
Khuzwayo.Don'
ttel
lmehowtorai
semykids.
Uneyi
nganewena?"(
Doyouhaveki
ds?
),Unyezi
.
"
Sor
ryMkami
."
Ipar
kout
sidet
hegate.Thandowavesatusasthe
ki
dsrunt
oher.Nkanyezii
salr
eadysni
tchi
ng.
"
Unyezi!Whyareyouhi
tt
ingmynephew?
",sheasks
wal
kingcloser
.
"
Het
hinkshi
sawhi
techi
ld.
",Unyezi
.
Wesayourgoodbyesanddr
iveof
f.
"
MaGema.Yek'
ukushayai
yingane.
"(St
ophi
tt
ing
t
heki
ds.
)
"
Uneyi
nganeKhuzwayo?
"(Doyouhaveki
ds?
)
"
Wat
chyourt
oneMkami
."
Shethr
owsagl anceatmeandtakesouther
ear
phones.She'
sangry.I
'
m sur
eifshecouldshe'
d
beatmyassaswell
.Shel
ookst
ir
edt
odaysoIdr
ive
tomyShisanyamai
nKwaMashu.

TSHEGO
Iwi nceasIsi tdownont hebenchatt hebusst op.
Khul ekanididanumberonmeyest er
day.Inot i
ce
hiscarappr oachi
ngandIdr eadstandingup.He
parksi nf r
ontofmer evvi
nghi scarcreating
unnecessar ydust.Showof f
.Thekidsf rom campus
arel ookingathim.They' r
eusedt ohim.Heenj oys
theat tenti
on.Istandupandgr oanasapai nshoots
throughoutmyabdomen.Heopenst hedoorf rom
thei nsideandIgeti nsidewincingasIsi tdown.I'
ve
hadal ongandpai nfulday.
"
Sawubona.
"(hel
lo.
)
Inodmyheadandhegr
ipsmyt
high.
"
Sawubona.
"(Hel
lo.
)
"
Dumel
a."
Hesmi
lesandpout
shi
sli
ps.Ij
ustl
ookathi
m.
"
Myki
ssMaThengo.
"
"
I'
mti
red.
"
"
Hai
bo.
"
Hepar
kst
hecarneart
her
oad.Hel
ooksatme.
"TellmeSeho.Af
teral
lthepuni
shmentsexyou
receivedwhenar
eyougoingtolear
ntofi
xyour
atti
tude?"
"
Whatat
ti
tude?
"
Hel
ooksatmef
rowni
ng.
"
Hai
bonj
aloSpur
aMal
uda.
"
Ir
ollmyeyesandhesl
apsmyt
highl
ight
ly.
"
Didn'
tIt
ellyouaboutr
oll
ingyoureyesatme?
"
Idon'
tanswerhi
m causi
nghi
mtochuckl
e.
"
MaThengo.Who'
sthemanher
e?"
"
You.
"
"
Who'
sthepenet
rat
or?
"
"
You.
"
"
Who'sthepr
ovider?Theprotect
or?Thehead?
Umaquzuubanila?
"(Who'stheboss?)
"
You.
"
"Thanstopfi
ghti
ngmef ordominance.AslongasI
penetr
ateyoungekengizwengawe.Kantiubani
onesendephakathikwet
hu?"(
Iwon'tbecontrol
led
byyou.Whohasbal l
sbet
weenus? )
"
Nguwe.
"(You.
)
MyZul
uisget
ti
ngbet
ter
.
"IhopeIwon'thavetofucksomesenseint
oyou
againngobaIdon'tmind.Wit
hyouratt
it
udeyou'r
e
sti
llgoingtobeweari
ngmyswagpant stoschool
l
impi ng."
Inodandheki
ssesme.
"
Nowhowaboutawar m bat
hwhenyougethome
whi
leImakeyousomethi
ngtoeat
?"
"
I'
dappr
eci
atet
hat
."
"
Okay.You'
resl
eepi
ngoverkeh.
"
Hest ar
tstheengi
neagainandwe' rebackinthe
road.Ireal
lytr
yget
ti
ngmyat ti
tudei ncheckbutmy
mout hhasami ndofi
tsown.Ir estbackonthe
chairandsigh.Nowondereveryonealways
complainsaboutZul
umen.Ial
sohaveast
oryt
o
tel
laboutthi
sShakaZul
uofmine.

NOXOLO
"Thandobett
ernotbr
ingt
hatscumbagofher
sto
ourwedding!
"
Ndabenkhul
ujustgotthefi
leonSthembisoandit
doesn'
tseem good.Heissopissedoffr
ightnow.
"
Shedoesn'
tknowr
ight
?"
"No.Abloodyr
api
st?!Awhol
efuckenr
api
st?
!And
hisdat
ingmysist
er?
!"
I
'
veneverseenhi
m soangry.Ij
ustgot
hrought
he
f
il
ewhil
ehepacesaround.
"DoesLangaknowt
hathi
sthesameguywho.
..
you
knowhiswife?
"
"
Idon'
tknow.I
fhi
sathomet
hanheal
readyknows.
"
"
Thi
ssobad!
"
Ir
eadoveragai
n.
"Hadbeenconvi ct
edf orrape,statut
oryr ape,sexual
harassment,il
legalpornogr aphyandphysi calabuse.
Inoneofhi scasesaf ri
endwhowasal sof acinga
caseforrapewi t
hahi gherchar gesaidt hatt his
wasnott heirfir
stti
megangr aping.Appar ent l
yit
start
edattheor phanagehomewi thagi rlcall
ed
Unyezi(
surnamenotgr anted)whowasn' tt r
aceabl e
whenpol i
cet r
iedf i
ndingher .Afterherhesai d
manyf ol
lowedl eaving' X'
mar kedont hei rbodi es.A
fewgirl
swer ef ound,t
houmanyhaddi edduet o
suici
de."
Thissosi ck!Everyt
hingwasher e.Thenamesof
everygirlhisevertakenpar tofrapingwast here.
Hisreleasedate.Ever yt
hing!Evenhi sbloodtype.
Thisresourcesur eknowshi swor k.Icl
osethef i
l
e
asNdabenkhul udrinkshiswhi sky.Hisphoner i
ngs.
"
It
sLanga.
"
"
Answeri
t.
"
Heanswersexit
ingandIsi
gh.Thandoshould'
ve
st
ayedwit
hOzocausewhat sabouttogodowni s
gonnabebloodbat
handshedoesn'twantherlove
forthi
sguymaki nghergetinvol
ved.I
'venever
knewUnyezisstorybutthere'
sonlyoneUnyeziI'
ve
everknown.Iwipemyt earsandsniff
.Womango
throughal
ot.Thisjustt
ri
ggeredme.Ndabenkhulu
comesbackandnot i
cesmecr yi
ng.
"
Sdudl
asami
."
Heengul
fsmei
nhi
sbi
gar
msandki
ssesmyhead.
"
Whatdi
dLangasay?
"
"
Hedoesn'
tknowasyet
.Myguessi
shi
snothome.
"
Webot
hsi
ghi
nrel
ief
.
"
Whatnow?
"
"
Wej
ustwai
t.
"
Inodandl
aymyheadonhi
schest
.
"
You'
reokaySdudl
a?"
"
Yeah.I
'
mjustabi
t.
..
"
"
Tri
gger
ed?
"
Inod.
"
It
sunder
standabl
e.Wheni
syourphot
oshootwi
th
Tshego?
"
"Nal
edysaidshe'
l
lcont
actus.She'
sagr
eat
phot
ographer
."
"
Isawherwebsi
te.Beaut
if
ul.
"
"
Ican'
twai
t.
"
"
Sdudl
a."
"
Mmmmh?
"
"
I'
m hungr
y."
"
You'
resuchababy.
"
Ipeckshisli
psandst andgetoft
hebarstool
.He
si
tsdownasImakesomet hi
ngforus.Sanel
eis
neverhereonweekends.Maybeweshoul dgivehi
m
ali
ttl
ebrotherorsi
ster.
62
NOXOLO
"
Y'al
llookssof
uckencut
e!"
,Unyezi
.
"
Mostdef
."
,Thando.
They'
resi
tt
ingi
nont
hephot
oshoot
.It
'sf
orpl
us
si
zedpeopl
e.Nal
edyi
sthephot
ogr
apher
.
"
Ifeelsosexyr
ightnow.
",Tshego.
"
Youar
e!"
,Unyezi
.
"Makelovetothecameral
adies!Yes!Showmet he
booty.YesTshego!GoodNoxolo!AhPerfect
!"
,
Naledy.
MeandTshegochangeposesasNal
edyt
akes
pi
ctur
escont
inuousl
y.

AMANDA
"
Youcan'
tcomeSandi
le.
"
"
Why?
"
"
It
sforf
ri
endsandf
ami
ly.
"
"
It
sbecauseoft
hatexofyour
s.Angi
musabi
!"
"ButIcan'
tcomewi
thyouathi
sownbi
rt
hday
part
y."
"
Yazi
nivayaAmanda.
"
Hest
andsupandt
akeshi
scarkeysandphone
thanleaves.Idon'tevenrunaf t
erhim.If i
nishmy
foodandpayt hebill
.Iknowhel eftmebehi ndsoI
j
ustdecideonbuyi nganout f
itforNkosinathi'
s
birt
hdaypar t
y.IseeSandi l
etalkingwiththatexof
his.Guesshedi dn'tl
eave.Ipasst hem andwal k
i
nt oMrPrice.WhenIseet hem ent erIrol
lmyeyes.
Histryi
ngt omakemej ealous.Thegi r
lcan'tkeep
herhandst oherselfandI'm notmoved.
"
Stopst
ari
ngatt
hem.
"
Ij
umpatt
hevoi
ceandt
urnar
ound.
"
HeyTj
inapot
ra.
"
Igul
pandsmil
eabit.Doeshehavet olooksogood?
Hehasabunchofhoodiesinhisarm.Hisphysi
que
i
sappeasi
ngandIcan'thel
psizinghi
m upfora
whil
e.Ohmygosh!Hesmel l
ssogood!
"
Amanda.
"
Irol
lmyeyesatt
hevoice.Sandi
lewrapshisarm
aroundmywaist
.Nkosi
nathichuckl
esshakinghi
s
head.
"
Yahsani
."
,Nkosi
nat
hi.
Sandi
lel
ooksathi
m upanddownandl
ooksatme.
"
Let
'sgetgoi
ngbabe.
"
Babe?Wher
eisyourexChar
li
e?
"I
'
llseeyouaroundTj
inapot
ra.Nawecheese
boy."
,Nkosi
nat
hi.
Nkosinathiwal
ksawaywit
hhi
sonebr
acketand
chucklesandmumbles.
"
Whatasi
mp.
",Nkosi
nat
hi.
Sandil
ecl
ickshi
stongueandr
emoveshi
sar
m
aroundme.
"
Let
'sgo.
"
"
I'
llcat
chanuber
."
Ileavehim standingther
eandpi ckoutaf ewitems.
Irequestanuberwhi lewalkingout.Istandoutsi
de
forawhi l
ebef oreaBlackSUVpar ksinf r
ontofme.
Sbhamusmi l
esatmeandIj umpinnextt o
Nkosinathi
.Icancel myride.We'rebothonour
phones.Thesi lencei
scomf ortabl
e.Ireceiveatt
ext
from Sandil
e.
"
Canyousl
eepovert
oday?
"
"
No.Ihaveanassi
gnmentt
ofi
nish.
"
"
Cool
."
"
Yeah.
"
Sbhamudropsmef i
rstandIwavegoodbyeatthem.
Thegat
eisopenedforme.Igreett
hesecuri
tyand
geti
nsi
dethehouse.
"
Sawubonama.
",Igr
eetSi
nenhl
anhl
a'
snanny.
"
Yebomt
anam.
"
She'
sinherlat
efor
ti
esandst i
llver
ybeautif
ul.I
walkupst
air
stomyr oom andst ri
pnaked.Inoti
ce
thedampnessonmypant ies.Nkosinat
hi!Ij
ump
i
ntotheshower.

UNYEZI
"
Who'
sri
dingwi
thme?
",Iaskgr
abbi
ngmybag.
"
Me!
",TshegoandNoxol
osay.
"
Sthei
sfet
chi
ngme.
",Thando.
Myeyet
wit
chesandwenod.
"
ByeNana!
",wet
ellNal
edy.
"Bye.
",
Nal
edy.
Weexchangehugsandwal kout.Thandohugsus
andwal kstoawhi tePol oGTI .Iseehim sit
ti
ngon
thedriver
sseat .Heget soutt oopent hedoorf or
Thandoandgr eetsus.Wedon' tgreetback.Our
eyesmeetandIf eelalltheangeri nmer esurface.
WhenLangat oldmet hatThandoi sdatingthat
scumbagIdi dntbelievei tbutnowher ehei sandI
feell
ikestrangl i
nghim.Noxol oholdsmyhandasI
am abouttopul loutmygun.
"
We'
rei
napubl
icspaceNyezi
."
,Noxol
o.
Inodandwegetintomycar.Therideissi
lentasI
dropever
yoneoff
.Noxol
oisthelasttogetoff.She
l
ooksatmef orawhil
e.
"
It
sgoi
ngt
obeokay.I
tal
waysdoes.
",Noxol
o.
Inodandsheget
sout.Thedr
ivehomei slongand
sl
ow.Ipar
kmycarandwal ki
nside.Langais
makingasandwi
ch.
"
Mkami
."
It
urnar
oundandhenot
icest
het
ear
s.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
Hewal
ksupt
omeandengul
fsme.
"
Isawhi
m."
"
Him?
"
"
Yes.
"
Ihearhim sighandhisholdtightensaroundme.
Flashbacks.Mykneesstarttowobbl ebuthepi
cks
meup.I '
m nowcr yi
ngloudly.Ifeell
ikepuki
ngasI
smellhisscent.

THANDO
"
Sot
hosear
eyoursi
ster
s?"
Hest
eal
sagl
anceatmeandIsmi
le.
"
Yes.Noticedt
heeyecont
actbet
weenyouand
Unyezi
."
"
Who?
"
Inot i
cehowhewi peshi sf oreheadandt i
ghtenshi s
fi
nger sar oundt hest eer i
ngwheel .Ijustkeepqui et
andt hi nkingaboutal lt
hewomenhi shur t.I
've
knownf ormont hsbutI '
veneverknewhowt odeal
withi t.Wehaven' tbeensexualeversi ncewe
starteddat i
ngbutIknowhehassever al cougar s.
AllIknowi sIhavet oel imi natehim soonernow
sinceUnyezihasseenhi m.Hewasn' teven
supposedt obet heresoear ly!Wegetoutoft hecar
andwal ki nsidewi thhimt extingonhi sphone.He
headsf ort hefri
dgeandIt akeof fmyheal s.Ilookat
mysel font hemi rroragai nstt hewall.Youcando
this!It akeoutmygunhi dingi tbehindmyback.I 've
wentt hr ought hi
smul t
iplet i
mes.Icandot his!He
turnsar oundsmi lingdownatme.Ipul lhimi nf ora
kissswal l
owi ngthebi l
e.Heeasesusont het i
led
kitchenf loorandIcl osemyeyesshoot i
nghi m on
hissi de.
"
Aaaaaah!
"
Ipushhim offmeandshootmyf ootandl
etouta
l
oudscr eam.Iki
ckthegunawayf r
om bot
hofus
andIstartt
eari
ngupmycl ot
hes.Ilaymyback
agai
nstt
hest
oveashel
ooksatmebl
eedi
ng.
"
Youbi
tch!
"
"Yout
houghyoucoul
dplayme?Youhurtwomen
andyouthi
nkyouwouldgetawaywi
thi
t?"
IfeelmyangerfuelupandIt akeakni f
e.Heholds
myf ootandIstabhishand.Irepeatedl
yst abhi
m
evenwhenIheart hesirens!Thedooriskicked
downbutIcar r
yonst abbingknowingverywel l
he
i
sdead.Handswr aparoundmel i
fti
ngmeup.Il et
outaloudscream coveringmyears.Ican'tsee
properl
yduetomyangerbutIcanf eelmany
presencesar
oundt hehouse.
"
Sedat
eher
!"
If
eelapr i
ckonmyneckandmyscr
eamsdi
edown
asIfal
lint
ounconsci
ousness.

OZO
Thandossecuri
tycompanyaler
tedmeabout
gunshot
s.Idri
vetherei
nspeed,get
ti
ngati
cketon
theway.Ipar
kandt hei
risabodycover
edwitha
si
lverbag.
"
No!Thando!
"
IgetoutmycarandwalktowardsbutIcan'
tpass
the'
cri
mescene'
.Herbrot
herscomeoutoft he
houseandwhentheyseemet heytel
lthem t
olet
mein.Iwal
kovertothem andgreet
.
"
Wher
eisThando?
"
Theykeepqui
etf
orawhi
leandsi
gh.
"
Isshe-
?",
Iask.
"No!She'
ssedatedandonherwayt
othe
hospit
al.
",
Khul
ekani
.
"
Whathappened?
"
"Shehadaf i
ghtwi
tht
hatscumbag.Sheki
ll
ed
him."
,Khul
ekani
.
Weallwalkoutandstandnearmycar.Langat
akes
outapaperfr
om hiswaistandhandsi
ttome.
"Guesssheknewafteral
l.Iknowf
orsur
esheki
ll
ed
him pur
posel
y."
,Langa.
"
Havey'
al
lfoundal
awyer
?"
"
Dadi
soni
t.
",Ndabenkhul
u.
Inodandt
hrowt
hef
il
einsi
demycar
.Thi
sisa
mess.
"Whywer
ey'
al
ldr
aggi
ngy'
al
lfeetonel
imi
nat
ing
him?"
"
Wecoul
dn'
tjustki
llhi
m.Oursi st
erl
ovedhi
m.Or
t
hat
swhatwethought.
",Bheki
khaya.
"
Thi
sisamess.Thandomi
ghtgot
ojai
l.
"
"Shewon'
t.Shemightgetsenttoahospi
ce.Wej
ust
havetowaitf
orherstat
ementbeforewestar
t
comingupwithaplan."
,Ndabenkhul
u.
"
Letmedr
ivet
othehospi
tal
."
TheynodandNdabenkhul
upat
smyshoul
der
.
"
Thankyouf
orl
ovi
ngher
."
Inodandgeti
ntomycar.Idr
iveof
ftr
yingt
ocome
upwit
hasensibl
eexpl
anati
ontowhathappened.

NKOSI
NATHI
Aknockdi st
urbsmefrom my35pushup.Istandup
grabbingatowelwi
pingmyf ace.Iopent
hedoor
andfindAmandawiththekids.
"
Uhhey.
"
"Hey.AuntThandoisinhospit
alandthewhole
familyi
supandabout .Nkanyeziwascryi
ngforyou
soIaskedthedrivert
odriveushere.
",
shesays
withoutbr
eathi
ng.
"
Breat
heManda.
",Isaysmi
li
ng.
SheexhalesandIletthem in.I'
m sogladIboughta
2bedroom apartment.Nkanyeziiscl
ingi
ngontomy
l
eg.Il
ifthisheavyassupwhi l
eAmandat akesa
sl
eepi
ngSnet otheguestroom.
"
Bhut
i.
",Sanel
e.
"
Sho.
"
"
Canwechanget
hechannel
?",
Sanel
e.
"
Yeahboy.
"
Ihandthem theremot
eandtakeNkanyeziwit
hme
totheguestroom.Hefel
lasl
eep.Ilayhi
m down
nexttoSne.Amandathrowsafleeceovert
hem.We
wal
kout
.
"
Sisi
.Ngi
cel
aukudl
a."
(canihavef
ood)
,Lami
.
"
Okayst
handwa.
"
Shest art
sbywashi ngthedishesi
nthesink.Iwas
goingt odothoselater
.Shelooksinthefr
idgeand
i
smetbymydi etfood.Sheshakesherheadand
takesoutt hemeatfrom t
hedeepfreezerbendi
ng.I
can'thelpbuttolookatherass.It
akeoutabot t
le
ofwat erandtakeaseatont hebarstool
.
"
Canyoupleasemakesandwi
chesf
ort
hoset
wo
whi
leIcook?
"
Ij
ustcar
ryonr
unni
ngmyeyesdownherbody.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi!
"
"
Ohsor
ry.Yeah?
"
"Pl
easemakesandwi
chesf
orLamiandSanewhi
leI
cook?"
"
Yeahnopr
obl
em.
"
Ist
andupandst artt
akingouti
ngr
edi
ent
s.I
'
llask
herl
ateraboutAuntThando.
UNYEZI
Wehavebeenwai t
ingout
sideherwardandnoone
hascometoseeus.Weseeadoct orappr
oachi
ng
andIgetoutofLangasembrace.
"
Doct
or.Thandol
wet
huKhuzwayo.I
ssheokay?
"
Hel
ooksathi
sfi
le.
"MsKhuzwayoissti
lli
ntheat
re.Herl
egwasal
most
shotof
fsowe'r
etryi
ngasmuchaswecan. "
Inodandhel eavesusther
e.Theboysgetoutfor
anothersmoke.PoorOzohasbeensi t
ti
ngther
e
withhisheadbetweenhisknees.Noxol
opull
smy
tr
embl i
ngbodytoherandshushesme.Khuzwayo
andNanawal kin.
"
Imett
heboysout
side.She'
l
lbeokay.
",
Khuzwayo.
Whoi shet r
yingtoconvi
nce?Hel ooksli
kehe
doesn'tbel
ievewhathissayinghi
msel f
.Thando
hasbeent hroughalotal
ready!Naledysit
snextt
o
usandsi ghs.Shewipesbloodthattri
ckl
esdown
hernose.
"
Nana?
",Khuzwayo.
"I
'
m okay.Therei
salotofabandonedspir
it
shere.
Thei
rpresencesar
equit
eheavyonme. ",
Naledy.
Kuhletakesoutati
ssueandhandi
ttoher
.We
remainwaiti
ngforsomenewsonThando.
63
OZO
Langahandsmeacupofcof feeandItakeit
thanki
nghi m.We' vebeenher
eal lni
ght
.Shegotout
oftheatrereal
lylatebutwesti
llcoul
dn'
tseeher.
Theyt ooktheladieshomeyesterdayni
ghtandthey
arri
vedear l
yinthemor ni
ngwithsomef ood.I
couldn'teveneat.Adoctorwalkstowar
dsus
smili
ngandweal lst
andup.
"
Thandol
wet
huKhuzwayo?
"
Weal
lnod.
"Shewokeupanhourago.Herf ooti
sgoingtoheal
butit'
l
ltaketi
me.I'
llall
owonlyonepersont
ogosee
her.She'sunderpoli
cecust
ody."
9
Weal
llookatherandLangacl
ickshi
stongue.
"Haveyouseenhowbi gthi
sfamil
yis?Andyou'r
e
onlyall
owingoneperson?Udaki
we!Asi
kucel
ifuthi
asambeni."
(you'
redr
unk!We'r
enotaski
ngyou!Lets
go!)
,Langa.
"
Siri
t'
spr
otoco-
"
"I
t'
sokayma' am.Youhavetounder
standwe'
real
l
agit
ated.Sbusi
so.
",Khuzwayo.
Il
ookupathi
m.
"
Youcangoi
n.Tel
lherweal
lher
e."
,Khuzwayo.
Idon'tt
hinkitsagoodi deabutt
hatdoesn'
tst
opmy
feetf
rom wal ki
ngbehindthedoctor
.Wegreett
he
poli
ceofficerstandi
ngnexttoherdoor
.
"45mi
nut
es."
,doct
or.
Inodandopenthedoor,
sl
owly.Itakeadeepbreat
h
i
n.Oureyesmeetandhertear
sf all
.Inot
iceone
handishandcuf
fedt
othebed.Isitonachairnext
toherbed.Shel
ooksatme.
"
Ozo/
Thando.
",webot
hsay.
"
Goahead.
",It
ellher
.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
"
"
Forwhat
?"
"
Leavi
ngyoul
iket
hat
.Itwasal
lpar
toft
hepl
an.
"
"
Whatpl
an?
"
"Icoul
dn'tlethim goawaywi t
hwhathedidto
Unyezi.Allthosegir
ls.Icoul
dn't
.Hedeser
vedtodi
e
soIplannedal lthi
s."
Sheinhalesandwi peshert
ears.Myhandhol
dsher
handinvolunt
ari
ly.Shesqueezesit
.
"
Youmi
ghtgot
ojai
lfort
hisThando.
"
"Iwon't.Iwillsayhewasbeat ingmeupandt ryi
ng
toforcehimsel fonmeandIgr abbedmyhandbag
causingmygunt ofall
.Igr
abbedi tandhesawi t.
Wef oughtf orthegunshoot i
ngmyf oot.Ikneedhim
i
nt hegut sandt ookthegunandshothi m.Hewas
sti
llal
iveandgr abbedmyf ootsoIpul l
edakni fein
pureadr enalineandstabbedhi m.
"
Ir
emai
nqui
etf
orawhi
le.
"
How-
?"
"IknewIhadt oshootatcl
oserangesoitcanbe
mor ebeli
evabl
e.Hediedwithabonersothatwi
ll
alsohelp.
"
"
Butyoushoul
d'vel
etyourbr
other
shandl
eit
."
"
Theydr
aggedt
hei
rfeet
."
"
But
-"
"
No!Idi
dwhatIhadt
odo!I
'
m awomant
oo!
"
"
Okay.Rel
ax.Havedr
ankyourpi
ll
s?"
Sheshakesherhead.
"I'
l
lgof et
chthem andcomeback.Justst
icktothi
s
story.YourDadisgett
ingyout
hebestlawyerin
town."
"
Okay.
"
"
Doyouneedanyt
hing?
"
"
Food,
toi
let
ri
esandmyphone.
"
"
Okay.I
'
llgot
ellever
yoneout
side.
"
"
Ever
yone?
"
"
Yourbr
other
sandt
hei
rwi
ves.
"
"
Okay.
"
Ist
andupandheadf
ort
hedoor
.
"
Ozo.
"
Ihal
tinmyst
epsandl
ookather
.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
SodoI
."
Iwal
koutandwal
ktot
hewai
ti
ngar
ea.
"
Issheokay?
",Langa
"
Shehasn'
ttakenherpi
ll
s.Sheal
soneedst
oil
etr
ies,
f
oodandherphone."
"
Didshesayanyt
hingabout
..
.?"
,Khuzwayo
"Yeah.I'
llt
elly'
al
l.Sheseemstohaveital
lcover
ed.
She'slookingatthreemonthsi
fherl
awyerisgood
orayear ."
"
Idon'
twantherinsi
de.She'
snotf
itf
or
t
hat.
",
Khuzwayo
"
Weal
lagr
ee.Wewi
llmakeapl
an.
",Khul
ekani
.
Inodandt
akeal
if
tdownst
air
s.Thandoshoul
d've
l
eftt
hiswholet
hingt
oherbr
other
s.Shedi
da
messyjob!Amessyone!

NKOSI
NATHI
It
ri
edcal
li
ngMom agai
nandshef
inal
lypi
ckedup.
"
Ist
il
ldon'
tunder
standwhyIwasn'
tinf
ormed.
"
"
Sorr
yson.Wewer
ejustshockedanddi
dn'
thave
t
ime.
"
"I
t'
sokay.Theki
dshavebeenaskingwher ear
ey'al
l.
WorseNkanyeziandSnenhl
anhla.Theyhavebeen
cryi
ng.Ithi
nkt
heycansensethatsomethingi
s
wrong."
"
Iknowbaby.We'
l
lpassbyandf
etcht
hem.
"
"
Okay.Loveyou.
"
"
Loveyou.
"
Igocheckupont heki
dsonemor et
ime.Igot
omy
room andfi
ndAmandaasleep.It
akeachangeof
clot
hingandti
ptoeout.
Af
termyshowerIwal
koutt
obr
eakf
ast
.
"
Goodmor
ning.
"
"
Hey.Sl
eptgood?
"
"Mynecki ski
ndasor
e.Mysof
aisn'
tdesi
gnedt
obe
slepton.
"
"
Sor
ry.
"
"
No.I
t'
sokay.What
'dyoumake?
"
"
Notmuch.Omel
ets.
"
"
Letmegowaket
hoser
ascal
sup.
"
"
Letmegoshower
."
Inodatherandmoveoutherway.Irubmyneckas
Iwalktotheguestr
oom.Isl
eptonthecouchcause
Idi
dn'tt
rustmyself
.

LANGA
Il
ookatheragai
nandshe'
sst
il
lzonedout
.She
l
ookssoti
red.
"
MaGema.
"
Shedoesn'
trespond.
"
Unyezi
!"
Shet
urnst
owar
dsme.
"
Areyouokay?
"
"Notreal
ly.PassbyNkosi
nat
hisowecanf
etcht
he
kids.
"
"
No.Youneedt
orest
.I'
l
ltal
ktohi
m."
"
Thankyou.
"
Thi
sThandot hingisreal
lycl
awi
ngather
.Ihope
shedoesn'
trelapse.

NOXOLO
Iwarm somel ef
tover
sforusandgojoinNdabeon
thesofa.Ihandhim aspoonandwest ar
teati
ng
sil
entl
y.Imissmysonandhedoesn' tli
kestayi
ng
withus.Hehasmovedi nwithUnyeziandvisi
tsus.
Hesaysweal waysbusyandhegetsboredalone.
"
Babe.
"
"
Sdudl
a."
"
Iwast
hinki
ng-
"
"
What
everi
tisyouwantbabe.Iagr
ee.
"
Thi
sonet
hinkshi
ssmar
t.Thi
sact
ual
lyser
ious.
"
Soyouagr
eet
hatwecancelt
heengagement
?"
Hesi
tsupandput
shi
sspoondownf
rowni
ng.
"
No.
"
Ilaughathim andheput
sthepl
ateont
hecof
fee
table.Her
eachesformeandti
ckl
esme.
"
Ndabenkhul
u!"
"
Cancel
?Whopr
oposed?Never
!"
"
Okay!Okay!I
'
m goi
ngt
ofar
t!St
op!
"
Hest
opst
ickl
ingmeandwebot
hlaugh.
"
Sowhatwer
eyout
hinki
ng?
"
"
ThatIgetof
fthepi
l
l."
Helooksatmef orawhi
leandt
akesoffhi
sbeani
e
andbrusheshisbal
dhead.Hel
ookedgoodwit
h
wavesbutbaldsuit
shi
m more.
"
Liket
ryf
orababy?
"
"
Yeah.
"
Hekeepsqui
etagai
nandsi
ghs.
"
Baby.It
hinkSaneleisj
ustfi
neforus.I
'
veal
ways
want
edonechild.IhaveSanel
e.Anheir
."
"Butdon'tyouwantt
ofeelt
hekicks?Thej
oywhen
youholdhi mfort
hefi
rstt
ime?Thenappychangi
ng?
Everyt
hing?"
"Honestly?No.Ababyneedst ime.I'
m al
ways
wor ki
ng.Ihar dl
yevenhaveti
mef orus.Plusyou'
re
sti
llworkingonhavingbranchesacrossthecountry.
Webot hhar dlyhaveti
meforSanele.Idon'tt
hink
we'rereadyf oranot
herchi
ld.
"
"
Ohokay.
"
Itaketheplateandst
andup.Ididn'
texpectthi
s
conversati
ontotakesuchatur
n.Iam abithurt.I
want edki
dswi t
hhim.Ial
wayswantedal otofkids.
Ifeelhishandsengul
fmef r
om behi
nd.
"
Sdudl
a.Don'
ttakei
tper
sonal
."
"
It
'sokay.
"
Heki
ssesmyneckandmybodyr
eact
sinvol
unt
ari
ly.
"
Wehave.
..t
ogogetr
eadyf
ort
hehospi
tal
."
"
They'
l
lsur
vive.
"
Hepull
sdownmyt
ightsreveal
ingmyt
hong
swal
l
owedbymybuttcheeks.

TSHEGO
Il
ookathim ashelightsanotherci
garet
te.Iknow
hisinpai
nbecausehi ssi
sterisi
nhospitalbuthi
s
pissi
ngmeof f
.Isnortandsneeze.Heknowsmy
si
nusesactupwhenhesmokesi nsi
de.Iopenthe
windowsandsprayt hehouse.Hegoesaheadand
carri
esonsmoking.
"
Khul
ekani
."
Hel
if
tshi
seyesatme,
whi
lebl
owi
ngsomesmoke.
"Celauyobhemel
akont
le.
"(Pl
easegosmoke
outside.
)
"
Yikwam l
abMal
uda.
"(Thi
sismypl
ace.
)
Isighandsi
tnextt
ohi
m wavi
ngmyhandt
ocl
ear
thesmoke.
"
Youar
en'
tmaki
ngyour
sel
fsi
ckbutmeaswel
l
."
Heswi
tchesi
tof
fandl
ayshi
sheadonmyt
highs.
"Yazimysi
sterisnotcutoutf
orpri
son.Shewon'
t
survi
vei
nthere.Ifeel
sohopeless.
"
"
Shewi
llbesentt
oahospi
ce.
"
"St
il
l.Shecan'tgobackther
e.Shewasdoi ngso
good.She'sbeenthroughalotal
ready.IwishMom
wasal i
vesomet i
mesmaybel i
fewouldbedi f
fer
ent
."
Imassagehisheadwi t
hmyfinger
sunt
ilhef
all
s
asl
eep.Isi
ghbeforelayi
nghi
sheadonthecouch
andthr
owingafleeceoverhi
m.
64
MONTHSLATER
UNYEZI
Ir
ubbedmyt empl
eandsi
ghedasIsataheavi
ly
pr
egnantThando.
"Hejustwant
stoseeyouThando.You'
rebei
ng
sel
fi
sh."
Sheshakesherheadandbr
ushesherbel
ly.
"
Hecantseemel
iket
his.Hecant
..
."
"Whynot
?It
shischi
ldr
ight
?Lethi
m knowhe'
s
goi
ngtobeafat
her.
"
"
Whati
fhedoesn'
t-
"
"Hayi.Idon' tgetwhyyou' reacti
ngli
kethis!Stop
over t
hinking!Thatmanl ovesyou.Hehasbeen
patience.Itsbeen4mont hswi thyouinhereand
you're7mont hspregnant.He'l
ldothemat h.You
willbeouti naf ewweeksandyoucan' tleavet hi
s
placewi thal lthesesecr
ets."
Shewipedat earandnodded.Shewasver
ychubby
andl
ighterduetoherpregnancy.
"Can'tbel
ieveyouhadsexwi
thhi
m whi
let
hat
bastardwasn'tget
ti
ng.
"
"
Unyezi
."
,shesaysshamef
ull
y.
Il
aughandshakemyhead.Myphoner
ings
di
stur
bingusandi
t'
sLanga.
"
It
syourbr
other
.I'
l
lvi
sitagai
nbabe.Besaf
e."
Iki
sshercheekandtummyt
hanwal
kout
answer
ingthephone.
"
MaGema.
"
"
Khuzwayo.
"
"
Kudal
angi
kushayel
auci
ngo.
"(
Ivebeencal
li
ng.
)
"
Sor
rybabe.Iwaswi
thThando.What
swr
ong?
"
"Lamii
sintr
oubl
eatschool
.IsThandoandt
he
babyokay?
"
"
They'
ref
ine.Lami
?Tr
oubl
e?Whathappened?
"
"Hegotint
oaf i
ght.Hebeatupawhit
eki
dandwe
knowhowt hisi
sgonnaend.Justhur
ryt
ohi
s
school
.We'rewait
ingforyou.
"
Idropthecallanddri
veoutoftheasylum confused
andangry.Lamihasnevergot t
eninaf i
ghtbefore.
Hei sasweetheart
.Hechoset obeatawhi t
ekid
nakhona?!Idonthaveti
mef orcourtcasesmina!
ThankGodi twasmydayof ftoday.Iam goingto
whipLami '
sass.Hecan'tgoaroundbeingVanDam!

AMANDA
Isi
ghedi
nrel
iefasIsawt
heonel
ineont
he
pregnancytestandt
hrewiti
nthedustbi
n.Itext
Sandil
e"itcameoutnegat
ive.
"andgetinthe
shower.
Aft
ermyshowerIgetdr
essedandlazearound.Si
s
Kuhlebar
gesi
nmyr oom andt
hrowsherselfonmy
bed.
"
Final
lyhei
sasl
eep!
"
Il
aughatherandshesmacksmeal
it
tl
e.
"
Anypl
anst
oday?
"
"
No.Why?
"
"
Canyougot
othemal
lforme?
"
Igr
oanandshemakesherpuppyeyes.
"
Whatdoyouwantf
rom t
hemal
l?
"
"Afewnappi
esandusualbabyst
uff
.Bheki
khaya
hasalat
emeeti
ngandcan'tgo.
"
Ididn'
tfeell
ikegoinganywheretoday!Inodand
shesmi l
eshandingmehercar d.Iforgetshe'
sri
ch
sometimeswi thhowhumbl esheis.TheNedbank
blackcardhasheri ni
ti
alsoni
t.Istanaqueen.
Manyt hi
nksheisdependantonSbar ibutshei
san
i
nvestorandashareholderinbigsuccesful
companies.Iwantt
obej ustli
keher.Bemyown
queen.
"
Youhavecl
assest
omor
row?
"
"
Yeah.08h00am-
11h40am.
"
"Wewi l
lgovisittherent
sgraveaft
eryourcl
asses.
NaledysaysMom andDadar eSi
ne'sguar
dian
angels.Apperantlyt
hatswhyhisroom i
scooler
thananyr oom inthehouse.
"
"
Woah.Thatki
disbl
essed.
"
Wekeepqui
etandshechuckl
es.
"
What
sfunny?
"
"
Imi
sst
hem youknow.
"
"
Met
oosi
s.Met
oo.
"
Wel
aytherelooki
ngatmypai
ntedcei
li
ngand
r
emi
ninsce.

KARI
SHMA
"
What
swr
ong?
"
Il
ookupatKhuzwayoandhesmi
les.
"
Nothi
ng.Justsensi
ngahear
tbr
okensoul
.It
s
wei
ghi
ngmedown.I mtryi
ngtol
ocatei
t.
"
Henodsandkeepsqui etsoIcanconnectwit
hmy
spi
rit
ualbeing.Ist
andupandgot otheteenageboy
att
hecor neroftherestuar
ant
.Ist
andoverhim and
helooksupwi thti
redeyes.
"
Hey.
"
"
Heyma'
am.
"
"
Mind?
"
Heshakeshi
sheadandIt
akeaseatopposi
tehi
m.
"
Im Kar
ishma.
"
"
Boi
kganyo.
"
"Beauti
fulname.Beingarapevicti
misnotyour
faul
t.Icanfeelyourdi
sgust,
shame,hurtandanger.I
knowyou' r
equestioni
ngyourexist
enceandf eel
like
deathistheonlywayout.Doyouwantt odi
ean
angrysoul?Soyoucanr oam thi
searthangryand
l
ost
?"
Heshakeshishead.I
m sogladhei
slet
ti
ngmet
alk
wi
thoutaski
ngmanyquestions.
"You'rescar edthatifpeopl eknowt heywi lll
aughat
you.Youhavedi stancedyour selffrom other s.
You'reintrovertedwi ththef earoft hem seei ng
throughyou.Ri ghtnowyou' reatyourl owestpoi nt
i
nl if
eandf eelasifGodhasabandonedyouandl ife
doesn'thavemeani nganymor ebuthaveyouever
thoughtthatmaybeyourr apei swhatshoul dmoul d
youandst renghtenyourf ai thinGod." Ishallnever
forsakethyou. "andhehasnt .Yourf athercan' trest
peacef ul
lycauseyou' rehol dingont ohi m andwhen
youweepandscr eam i npai nhet r
iest ocomf ort
youbutyourangerpusheshi m away.Hecant
protectyouwhenyou' r
eal soangr yathi m.Tel lyour
mot herwhatyourst epfatherhasbeendoi ng.She' l
l
l
istenandhel pyou.Shel ovesyouandi tpainshee
seeingyoudi stachedf rom ever yone.Shet hinks
you'reangr yather .Ther ei snoexcusef orhur ti
ng
peoplewhenyou' r
ehur t
ing.Aski ngf orhelpdoesn' t
makeyouweak.Takeast andofyourownl i
fe.Fight
sohar dt
hatevent
hedevi
lcantf
ightback.You'
rea
blessedki
d.I
tsapit
yyouhavetogothroughthi
s
foryoutobeablet
ohealot
hers.
"
Hebreaksouti
ntoaloudsobandIinchcloserto
hi
m hugginghi
m.Ilethi
m crywit
heveryonelooki
ng
atus.Hecalmsdowneventual
ly.
"
Whatar
eyou?
"
"
ASpi
ri
tualBei
ng.
"
"Thankyouf
ort
hat.Ivebeenbatt
li
ngwit
hthisi
ssue
eversi
ncemystepfatherst
art
edsodomizi
ngme."
"I
t'
llgetbetter
.Iseeabri
ghtfut
ureaheadofyou.
Youwi llhealhear
tsandtr
avelt
hewor l
d."
"
ThankYou.
"
Ismi
leandbi
dhim goodbye.Khuzwayol
ooksatme
whenIsi
tdown.
"
Let
sgohome.
"
Inodandhepacksourt hi
ngsandcoversthebil
l.I
cryassoonasIset t
leinsi
dethecar.Ihat
ethispart
ofmygift.Iseepai
nfulthi
ngsandfeelthem.That
boyspainwassoi nt
enseIhadt oholdmyselffr
om
bal
li
ngoverandscr
eami
ng.
"
It
sgoi
ngt
obeokaybabe.
"
Khuzwayoki
ssesmyt
empl
eandst
art
stheengi
ne.

LANGA
WhenUnyeziwal ksinshethrowsherhandbagat
Lamiandhecat chesit
.Thecaucasianprinci
pal
l
ooksatheroverherglassesint he"
sothisiswhere
thevi
olentnatur
ecomef rom."andIchokea
l
aughter.Thewhiteboysparentkeeponchecking
theboysfaceandshakingtheirheads.Unyezisi
ts
downgl ar
ingatLamiwhoschi l
led.
"
GooddayMi
ss.
",
Pri
nci
pal
.
"
Mrs.
",
Unyezicor
rect
s.
"
Ohsor
ry.Mr
s."
,pr
inci
pal
.
"
WhywasIcal
ledher
e?"
,Unyezi
.
"YoursonpunchedMrVanRiegt
eertodayand
brokehisnose.Iwant
edt
oaskifeveryt
hingi
sokay
athome? "
,pr
inci
pal
.
"
Yeah.Ever
ythi
ngi
sfi
ne.
",
Unyezi
.
"
Yoursoni
svi
olent
!"
,t
hecaucasi
anmot
herscr
eams.
"Ungangikuphul
elii
li
zwisi
si.
"(
dontr
aiseyourvoi
ce
atme.),Unyezi.
"
What
?",
boy'
smot
her
.
"Doyouexpectmet oaccomodateyou?Iwil
lnotdo
thatsoIadviceyougetatr
ansl
atorher
ereal
quick.
",
Unyezi.
"
Iunder
standvenacul
ar.
",
boy'
sfat
her
.
"Kuhl
e.Sonifunamal
inif
orukushayi
wakwengane
yakho?"
(howmuchdoyal lwantf
or
damages?),
Unyezi
.
"Whydoyout hi
nkwewantmoney?Wewantyour
boyexpel
led.Hisadangert
othi
sschoolandi
ts
l
earner
s."
,boy'
sfat
her.
"
Kwenzakal
enivel
eLami
?"(
whathappened?
)
Lamisi
tsst
rai
ghtandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
"
Joynerwashar
assi
ngt
hegir
lsint
heclassl
if
ti
ng
t
hei
rskir
tsandr
ememberdadyousai
dthatwas
wrongandIshoul
dki
ckaper
sonsassshoul
dthey
dotgat
?"
Icl
earmythr
oatuncomfort
abl
yasUnyezigl
aresat
me.Ipr
obabl
yshouldn'
thavesai
dasstoakid.
"Yousee?Thiswholefamil
yist
oxi
c.Themot
heri
s
alsovi
olentandr
atchet-
",
boysmot
her.
"What
?Viol
ent?Rat
chet?Mi na?Unyezi
?I'
llst
ick
thi
ssi
xinchloui
svui
ttonheelinyourbehi
ndifyou
darei
nsul
tmeagain.Sies!Nyatchet
?Mina?Hehe!"
Idontknowwhysheissowor
kedup.Ihol
dher
handandsqueezei
t.
"We'l
lpaywhat everamountneededf ortheboys
medicalvisi
ts.Ya'l
lshoul
dt eachyoursonto
respectwoman.Hedeser veditandmore.Hisso
youngbutcantr espectawoman.Whati sto
becomeofhi m whenhe' solder?Yal
lrai
serapist
s
unawar e.
"
Itakemysonandwifeandl
eavewi
tht
hem.Unyezi
hascalmeddown.Spi
tf
ir
e!
NDABENKHULU
Shedancestoasongplayi
ngonTraceandtwerks.I
l
aughatherasshesingsal
ong.Shedoesn'
teven
knowthelyr
ics.
"Wapwapwapwap!
",
Ithi
nkt
hat
stheonl
ypar
tshe
knows.
Itur
nofftheovenaftert
aki
ngoutthecupcakes.
Shehasbeent eachi
ngmehowt obake.Icanbake
butnotasgoodasshedoes.Theysmel lr
eall
ygood.
Shewalkstowardsandlooksatt
hem.
"
Theyl
ookgood.
"
Ismi
lepr
oudl
yandsheki
ssesmycheek.
"
Let
sleavet
hem t
ocool
."
Inodandl
eavethem onthecool
ingr
ack.Theent
ir
e
housesmel
lsofbakedgoods.
"
You'
ref
etchi
ngSanel
etoday?
"
"
Yeah.Ihavet
obr
ingi
nhi
m andLami
'
svol
cano.
"
"
You'
redonewi
thi
t?"
"
Yeah.I
tsr
eal
lyheavy.
"
"
Youexagger
atedandmadei
thuger
ight
."
"
Im abi
gmanwi
thbi
gthi
ngswhol
ikesbi
gthi
ngsi
n
l
if
e."
"
Coul
dntagr
eemor
e."
Ismil
eandki ssher.Wehaven'tbeent hesameever
si
ncethattal
kbutshe' str
yingtopretendshe'
sfi
ne
wit
heverythi
ng.Theki dstopi
cisjustnotforme.I
wantkidsbutnotnowandIdon' tt
hinkshegetsit
.I
al
wayswant edoneki dandIhaveonebutIhavet o
compromisef orher
.
"
Howi
stheal
ler
gy?
"
Shescr
atcheshershoul
derandshr
ugs.
"I
tsabiti
tchybutt
heant
ibi
oti
csar
ehel
ping.The
swel
li
nghasgonedown."
Inodandsmi
leather
.
"
Whyar eyousmil
ingl
iket
hat
?Whatar
eyouupt
o
Ndabenkhul
u?"
"I
mjustsmi
li
nghaibo.Whydoyoual
wayst
hinkI
m
uptosomet
hing.
"
"
Iknowyou.Thel
astt
imeyousmiledl
iket
hat
Randydel
iver
edmyweddi
ngdresshimsel
f.
"
"
Youwer
ehappyt
hou?
"
"Iwas.Ohabouttheweddingthei
nviteshavebeen
i
ssued.AssoonasThandoi soutwe'rehavingher
dresstai
lor
edagaincauseshe'
sallchubbynow."
"
Icantbel
ieveshe'
spregnant
!Im st
il
lgoi
ngt
oki
ll
Ozoforf
uckingmysister
!"
"
Stopbei
ngdr
amat
ic!
"
Shesaysst andi
ngupandheadingt otheki
tchen.I
canalreadyimagineherpr
egnant.Shewantsaki d
I'
l
lgiveherakid.Ifol
lowaft
erherandsheis
steal
ingcupcakes.
"
Ngakubamba!
(caughtyou!
)"
"
Arghpl
ease!
"
Igr
abacupcakeaswel
l.Well
,theydot
ast
egood.
Notbet
tert
hanher
sbutgood.

NKOSI
NATHI
Ishootmyl astbi
tofcum inthecondom befor
e
pull
ingout.Iwipeherandgetup.Icleanupthe
condomsandt hr
owt hem away.Iheadfort
he
bathroom andoptforashower .
AftermyshowerIgetr eadyf orsoccerpracti
ce
whilesheshower s.Ipackmygearandmyshake.
Wher earemysoccerboot s?Ahha.Istuffthem i
n
thebagandr unahandt hroughmyhai r.Shecomes
outalreadydressedandt akesherstuff
.Ihandhera
fewhundr ed.
"
Not
hankyou.
"
Ishr
ugandputthem backi
nmywal
let
.Wewal
kout
andIlockup.
"
Wantal
if
t?"
"
Please.
"
Iopent
hedoorforherandrusht
omyside.My
mom cal
lswhi
lewear est
uckint
raf
fi
c.
"
Babe.
"
"St
handwa.Yourauntwi
llbeouti
naweekandwe
arepl
anni
ngawel comebackpart
yforher
."
"
Uncl
eOzo?
"
"Guesshewi
llseeheratt
hepar
tyandherbaby
bump."
"
Thati
sabi
gsur
pri
se.
"
"
Tadaa!
"
Weshar
eal
aught
er.
"
Youhavesoccerpr
act
icet
oday?
"
"
Yeah.
"
"
Makemepr
oud.
"
"Wehaveasponsorf
rom Spai
ncomi
nginonour
pract
icet
hant
hebiggameonSunday.Ya'
l
lcomi
ng
ri
ght?"
"Youknowwewoul dntmissi
tfort
hewor
ld.Your
unclesal
readybetonyou.
"
"
OhGodt
hepr
essur
e."
Wel aughandsayourgoodbyes.Sandisi
weisjust
onherphone.Shei smyfuckbuddy.Wemet
throughaf r
iendandi
nst
antl
yfucked.Sheisnot
dramatic.Shecall
smewhensheneedsmeandI
cal
lherwhenIneedher.Idropherof
fatresand
shewavesgoodbye.Sheisagoodgirlwi
thadir
ty
mind.Idr
iveofft
owardsthestadi
um j
ammingto
somemusi c.

KHULEKANI
Tshegohasbeenst arvingher selfformont hsnow.
Shet hinksIdon'tnoticehowsheal waysdoesnt
haveanappet i
te.Isawonsoci almedi atheyhave
beenbashi ngher .Shepost edapi ctureofmeand
heronmyyat chandt hel adiesstartedcall
ingher
fatandunf itf
orme.Iwal kintoourr oom andsheis
drinki
ngt hosewei ghtlosingpi l
lsagain.Shehas
l
ostaf ewpundsbutnot hingdrast i
c.Sheis
naturallybi
gbonedandshedoesntwantt oaccept
that.Iputmypal m nearhermout handshel ooks
upt ome.
"
Spi
tthem out
."
ShedoessoslowlyandIt
aketheent
ir
ebot
tl
eand
gofl
ushthem.Ifi
ndhercr
ying.
"
MaTengo.Doyouknowhowbeaut
if
ulyouar
e?"
Sheshakesherhead.Isi
tnextt
oher
.
"Youar ebeaut i
ful
.Justbecauseyouar efatdoesnt
meanyouar enotat t
racti
ve.Iloveyourt ummyf at
andt hi
ckt hi
ghs.Ilovehowt heyj i
ggl e.Lordknows
yourstretchmar ksgivemeaboner .Lookati tri
ght
now.Icant r
ymaki ngyouf eelbetteraboutyour sel
f
butIcantdot hati
fyoudont .You'reabeaut if
ul
woman.Beaut ycomesi ndi f
ferentshadesand
sizes.Justbecausesoci et
ysaysyouneedt olose
weightdoesntmeanyouhavet oli
st en.Entlek
ngayei phoneyakho."(gi
mmeyourphone. )
ShehandsmeherphoneandIgot oherinstagram.
Ipostpict
uresofheri
nherbi kiniwit
hthecapt i
on
"FATneverlookedsogold."andt agmyself.It
ake
myphoneandpostpi cturesofusandcapt ionit
"TrustmewhenIsayIwoul dntwantheranyf atter
."
Shecriessomemor eandcl i
ngstome.Il ayuson
thebedandshehol dsontome.Idontgett he
jeal
ousyotherfemaleshaveonanot her
.Itst
he
woment hatbashheronsoci al
s.Toxicbit
ches.I
kissherscaronherforehead.
"
IloveyouFat
-o.
"
"
Mxm.Il
oveyout
oo.
"
Ichuckle.Shei
sever
ythi
ngtomeandIhopeshe
willeatt
hemogoduIboughtfr
om t
her
ankwithme
today.
Sponsor
edbyZanel
eNaMasi
lel
aKhangayi
.
65
BHEKI
KHAYA
"
I'
m notwear
ingasui
tPeaches.
"
"
Youar
e."
"ComeonePeach.It
sjustawel
comeparty.Formy
sist
er.Apai
rofj
eansandgolft
shi
rtwi
lldo."
"
Canyoubebecl
assyf
ort
oni
ghtonl
y?"
"
No.Iwearsui
tst
owor
k.Icantwearsui
tson
weekendsaswel
l.
"
Shesighsandir
onsmyj eansandgolftshi
rt
.Iki
ss
hercheekandshecli
ckshertongue.Il
aughather
andwalkoutsi
nging.
"Phel
amajit
angisenhlanhl
enimina.Thol
amunt
u
ongakibal
elaamacala.Uhl
alekhona!"
"
Bheki
khaya!Si
nei
ssl
eepi
ng!
"
Ikeepqui etandsheshakesherheadandgoes
backt othel aundryroom.Ishr ugandgowakeup
myson.If indhim upal r
eadyupl aughingal one.Hi
s
room isreal l
ycoolandchi ll
edthananyr oom inthe
house.Ipi ckhim upandt hr
owhi mi ntheai r
causinghi mt ogiggle.Hismot herisgoingt othi
nkI
wokehi m up.Igot othestudywi t
hhi m balancedon
mychestwi t
hmyar m.Hei smaki ngbabysounds.
Amandai sal r
eadyatt heparty.Sheistheone
cookingwi thNdabenkhul u.Itakeaseatwi ththi
s
oneonmyl ap.Itrywr i
ti
ngthepoem Iam suppose
torecit
eandmycr eativejui
cesar edry.
"
Aaaahsi
shdbf
nfmf
j!
!"
,Si
nescr
eamsdi
stur
bingme.
"
Canyouwr
it
eapoem boy?
"
"
Shdgt
gBa-Ba-Baba!
"
Il
ookathi
m smi
li
ngandl
if
thi
m up.
"
Comeagai
nboy.
"
"
Baba!
",
hescr
eamscl
appi
nghi
shands.
Ir
undownst
air
swi
thhi
mtot
hel
aundr
yroom.
"
Peaches!
"
"
Yeah.
"
"
Hesai
d'Baba'
!
"
Shet
urnsar
oundandl
ooksatus.
"
Youwokehi
m up?Khaya!
"
"
Idi
dnt
!Hesai
dBaba"
"
What
?"
"
Sayi
tagai
nboy.Sayi
tagai
n."
Hesti
ckshi
sfi
sti
nhi
smout
handsucksoni
t
l
aughi
ng.
"
VeryfunnyBheki
khaya.Getdr
essedwe'
real
ready
l
ate.
"
"
Iswearhedi
dbabe.Comeonki
ddo.Comeon.
"
Heremainssi
lentl
aughingandcl
appi
nghi
shands.
Ar
gh!Thisonethou.Kuhlet
akeshi
mfrom me
wi
pingthespi
tonhim andhandsmemyi r
oned
cl
othes.Igetdr
essedr
ightt
her
e.

UNYEZI
Thepar
tisi
nourbackyar
d.We'
ret
heoneswi
th
manyki
dssoourbackyar
disbi
gger.
"
Whosf
etchi
ngThando?
"
"
BabaandKar
ishma.
",
Langa.
"
HasOzoar
ri
ved?
"
"Yeah.Heishel
pingNkosi
nat
hiputupt
he
banner.
",
Langa.
"
Langa?
"
Hel
ooksatmewi
thasmi
le.
"Youhavebeenf
oll
owi
ngmear
oundal
lday.What
didyoudo?"
"
Me?Idi
dntdoanyt
hing.
"
Ithr
owhi
m al
ookandheadi
nsi
dewi
thhi
m onmy
tai
l.
"
Lami
!"
"
Ma?
"
"
Wher
eisNkanyezi
?"
Lamil
ooksatLangaandswal
lows.
"
Lami
."
"
Hei
sint
heki
tchen.
"
Iat
temptt
owal
ktot
heki
tchen.
"Wait
!Uhm.Mom canyouhel
pmel
ookf
ormy
phone?Yeahmyphone."
"
It
sinyourpocketLami
."
IpushLangaawayandwal ktothekit
chenandfind
thecakeonthefloorandNkanyezi
inthemiddl
eof
themess.Ibreat
heinandtakeoffmyf l
opsbut
Langaholdsmyhand.
"
Anot
heronei
sont
heway.
"
"Khuzwayoweren'tyout
heonesupposetomake
sureyoursonstaysawayfr
om t
hekitchen?
"
Hescr
atcheshi
sheadandnods.
"
MaGema.Ei
sh.Lami
Itol
dyout
ocl
eant
hisup
whi
leIst
allyourmot
her
."
"Me?Tryget
ti
ngcl
oset
hatcakewi
tht
hatki
d
eat
ing.
"
IgetnearandNkanyeziwail
sloudl
y.Hehascake
al
loverhim andhestart
sthrowi
ngitaround.Igrab
hi
m kicki
ngandscreaming.Heisgoingtobat h
again.I
m neartoki
l
lingLangasson!I
tsmi schi
ef
aft
ermischiefal
ways!
"
Yal
ltwobet
tercl
eant
hatup.
"
"
ButMaGema-
"
"
Khuzwayopl
ease.
"
Il
eavethem ther
ecarr
yingacr
yingandsugarhi
gh
Nkanyezi
.It
sgoingtobealongday.

THANDO
Wear eatthegateandthenervesstartkicki
ngin.
Mybabybumpi svisi
blei
nthisti
ghtbodyhuggi ng
dressUnyezichose.Iam metwithabanner
"WelcomeHomeMomma! "andIbli
nkt earsaway.I
getoutofthecarwithDadshelp.Im carr
yingtwins
somytummyisbigfor7months.Ihat
eOzof or
doi
ngt
histome!Icanseehi
m atthefarendofthe
yar
donthephone.
"
Wel
come!
",
ever
ybodyscr
eams.
Het urnsar oundandhesmi lesmeetingmyeyes
whicht urnsint oaf rownwhenheseesmyt ummy.
Hesi gnalswi thhisf ingerathimselfandInod.He
remai nsstandi ngther eforawhilebeforewal king
towar dsmesl owly.Ir ememberwhenhecameat
myhousel ividandt i
psycr yingthatIbrokehi sheart
.
Hehadpi nnedmeagai nstthewallandkissedme
hungr il
y.Icouldnthel pitbutIall
owedi ttocont i
nue.
Wedi dntusepr ot
ect i
on.Ifoundoutatt heasyl um
thatIwaspr egnant .Inevert ol
dhim.Ever yonei s
l
ooki ngatus.I macr yingmess.
"
Howf
aral
ongar
eyou?
"
"
7mont
hs.
"
"
But
-"
"
It
stwi
ns.
"
Hesmi
lesnoddi
ng.
"
That
smygenes.
"
Inodandheputshishandoni
t.Theki
dski
ckand
helet
shist
ear
sf al
l.
"
Whydi
dyoukeepi
tfr
om me?
"
"
I-
"icl
earmyt
hroat
.
"
Iwasscar
edandsel
fi
sh.It
houghtyou-
"
"
Leavei
t.Noneedt
oexpl
ainnow.
"
Hekissesmeandmyhor
monesactup.Amoan
escapesmyli
ps.
"
Voet
sekSbusi
so!
",
Langashout
s.
Wepulloutl
aughi
ng.Ever
yonestart
swal king
towar
dsmeandhugsar eexchanged.Ihavel it
tl
e
Sinei
nmyar mswhenher eachesf
orhisf ather.
"
Baba!
"
"
SeePeaches?
!It
oldyou!
",
Bheki
khaya.
HetakesSinefr
om mesmi l
ingandwalkstohi
s
wi
fegloat
ing.Shesnevergoingt
oheartheendofi
t.
AMANDA
Irushinsidet
ot ur
nofft
helambstewandIbump
i
ntoNkosi nat
hi.Hecl
encheshi
sjawandpassesby.
Istandtherel
ookingathi
m ashewalkst
hanhalt
s
i
nhi sstep.
"
Howdi
dthatpr
egnancyt
estgo?
"
"
What
?"
Het
urnsar
oundandt
hel
ookhehasr
ightnow.
"
Howdi
dthepr
egnancyt
estgo?
"
"
Howdoyou?
"
"
Answerme.
"
"
Idontoweyouanexpl
anat
ion.
"
Hechuckl
esandwalkstowar
dsme.Hecagesme
bet
weenhim andt
hesink.
"Amanda.Youwillal
waysbemywoman.Just
becauseI
ml et
ti
ngyouf uckthatSandi
leguydoesnt
meanyoudontanswermewhenIaskyou
somethi
ng.Howdi dthatpr
egnancytestgo?"
Ikeepqui
etandhi
sjawt
icks.
"
Negat
ive.I
tcameoutnegat
ive.
"
"Notonlyareyougi
vinghim mypussybutyou'
re
givi
ngittohimrawalso.Ufunaukukhal
a
Amanda? "(
Doyouwantt ocry?)
Ishakemyheadvi
gur
ousl
y.
"Good.I
fIeverseeyouwi ththatl
oseragainI'
l
lpul
l
uplikeahurr
icane.Iwi
llcausehavoc.Siyezwana?
"
Inod.
"
Khul
uma.
"(
tal
k)
"
Ngi
yakuzwaNkosi
nat
hi.(
Ihearyou.
)"
Hesmil
esandpecksmyli
ps.Hesqueezesmyass
andImoan.Hest
il
lhast
hageff
ectonme.
"I
magineifyouhadf
ellpregnantf
ort
hatf
ucker
.
You'
l
lonlycarrymychil
drenAmanda."
HekissesmeandIhavetoadmi
tImi
ssedhi
sli
ps.I
sometimeswoul
dimagi
ne
Sandil
eashi
m.Thereissomet
hingpul
li
ngusback
toeachot
heral
lthet
ime.
NOXOLO
Ipukeagai nint hetoil
etandsitdownont heti
led
fl
oorr est
ingmybackagai nstthewall.Ihavebeen
feeli
ngsickt hesedaysandIwoul dsayIam
pregnantbutwehavebeenusi ngcondomssi nce
theant i
biot
icsst oppedthebir
thcontrolfr
om
wor ki
ng.Ndabenkhul uwalksi
nandhandsmea
glassofwat er.
"
You'
reokaysdudl
a?"
"
Yeahj
ustdi
zzy.
"
Hehel
psmest
andupandwal
ksmet
oaguest
r
oom.
"
Laydown.I
'
llbr
ingyouf
oodl
ater
."
Inodclosi
ngmyeyesasIfeelt
hewor
ldspi
nni
ng.
ArghIprobabl
ycaughtt
hefl
u.

KARI
SHMA
Im wi
ththeki
dsandNkanyeziisonasugarr
ush.I
havebeenrunni
ngaf
terhi
m allday.
"
Aunt
ylook!
"
Hejumpsont hetr
ampoli
neandget
soffrunni
ng
pastguest
s.Hefall
sandget
supfastandconti
nues
runni
ng.
"
Nkanyezi
!"
SaneleandLamiar
ehelpi
ngmerunaft
erhi
m.He
bumpsi nt
ohismot
herandhesi
gnal
sforhert
o
takehim.
"
Takememama!
"
Shet
akeshi
m andput
shi
m onherwai
st.
"
Youwannasl
eep?
"
"
Heshakeshi
sheadandwigglesoutofherhol
d.He
r
unst
owardshisf
ather
sscreaming"Babas!
"
Hecal
lst
hem t
hat
.Hi
ssuchasnob.
Isi
ghasSanel
eandLamif
oll
owhi
m.
"Pl
easepourmeagl
assofwi
necauseyoursoni
s
anothercase.
"
Unyezil
aughsandpour
smeagl
ass.
If
eelt
hehai
dsonmybackst
andupandIdr
opt
he
gl
ass.
"
Kar
ishma.
"
Il
ookatt
hedar
kfi
gur
epassi
ngby.
"DearLor
d.Ifi
tisnotyourwillt
hani
tshallnot
happen.Ir
ebukeanycur secastont
hisfamily.
Amen."
Unyezilooksatmef r
eakedout.Amandagaspsand
hit
sherchestbef orecoll
apsingi
nNkosinat
hisarms.
Everyoneisallovertheplacecal
li
ngambulances.
Nkosinathidr
ivesoffwithherinhi
ghspeed.She
wontdiebutIneedt oalignmychakrasandpr ay.I
excusemyselfandaskKhuzwayot odri
vemehome.
66
UNYEZI
Thandoagreedtostoppingtheparty.Everyonewas
nowi nthehal
lwaypacingwaitingforthedoctor.
Kuhlewassitt
inginthemi ddl
eofBheki slegsonthe
fl
oorwhohadhi sarmsar oundher.Shewas
shiver
ingandcryi
ng.Karishmahasn'tr et
urned
si
nceshel eft
.Icoul
df eelaheavydarkpresent
aroundus.Imayhavehadmygi ftt
akenawaybut
notallwaslost.Mysixthsenseissti
llhei
ghtened.
Nkosinathiwasthefi
rsttostandupwhent he
doctorapproachedus.
"
AmandaSi
langwe?
"
"
Yes.
"
"
Fami
ly?
"
"
Yeah.Im hersi
sterandt
hey'
rear
emyi
n
l
aws."
,Kuhle.
"Sheisheal
thy.Seemslikeshehadapani
catt
ack.
Weputheronsomedr ugssoshecanrest
.Wewill
assi
gnaspeci al
istf
orhertohel
pwit
hthepani
c
att
acks.
"
Weallnoddedandhelef
tusal
lther
e.Karishmahas
al
ltheanswersweneedandshesti
llhasn'
tarr
ived.
"Let
sallgoandcleanup.I
'
llgot
otherecept
ionand
askthem t
ocalluswhensheisawake.
"
"
I'
llst
ayUnyezi
."
,Kuhl
e.
"
Iwasn'
taski
nganyone.Wewi
llcomeback.
St
andi
ngherwon'
tmakeanyt
hingbet
ter
."
Itakemybagandt heyallst
artmoving.Wegeti
n
ourcar sandIwon'tl
ieIam confused.Kar
ishma
bettercomethrough.Myphoner ingsandLanga
handsi tt
ome.
"
Baba.
"
"
Ndodakazi
."
"
Konkekur
ight
?"
"
Kuhl
emnt
anam.I
sihl
ahl
asi
sihl
ebel
il
e."
Ir
ollmyeyesatt
hement
ionoft
het
ree.
"
YeboBaba.
"
"Kunesithaemundenini
.Si
funaukuzinyegezel
a
kodwakukhonaomuvi mbil
i.Uzogudluzwa
l
owo. "(
therei
sanenemyamongstyal l.i
twantsto
beoneofyal lbutoneisst
andingintheirway.they
willberemoved.)
"Akukabinazinkingaemdeni
nikodwa
sizoqhapel
a."(wedonthaveanyprobl
emsasyetbut
wewi llbecautious.
)
"
Sal
ekahl
endodakazi
."
(bewel
ldaught
er)
"
Ubabi
ngel
eleekhaya.
"(
greett
hem athome.
)
Wedropthecal
landIl
aybackont
hecarseat
si
ghi
ng.Langat
hrowsacuri
ousl
ookatme.
"
What
sgoi
ngon?
"
"
Imt
ryi
ngt
ofi
gur
eitout
."
"I
tsgoingt
obeokay.Wej
ustneedt
obest
rongeri
n
prayer
."
"
Iagr
ee.
"
Iki
sshi
scheekandgobackt
omyseat
.

KUHLE
Bhekikhayaparksinthedri
veway.Heopenst he
doorformeandhel psmeout.I'
ver anoutoftear
s
andIam scar edandexhausted.IthoughtIwas
goingtoloseherandIdoubtI '
l
lhandlethat.We
walkinsideandIgocheckupont henanny.We
droppedhim offbeforegoi
nggot hehospital
.He
waspeacef ul
lysleepi
ngandIsatdownnextt ohis
cot.Hi
sroom wascal
mingandchi
ll
ed.Icl
osedmy
eyesandlai
dmyheadonmyhands.
"God.Icomebef or
eyouasadevast ateddaught
er.
Pleasebewi t
hmysi steri
nthesehar dti
mes.Icant
l
oseher .Ineedher.SheisallIhave.I-
"
IletoutasobandIsuddenlyfeelawarm embr ace.
Itremindsmeofmymom.Iwi pemyt ear
s.Itake
offmyshoesandclimbont hesingl
ebedi nSine's
bedwi thwar
mthsurr
oundingme.

NKOSI
NATHI
Istoprunni
ngbreat
hingheavi
ly.Igr
eetBab'
Ngadi
atthegateandwalkin.Isi
tbythestai
rswit
hmy
headinbetweenmyhands.Myphoner i
ngsandit
s
Sandisi
we.
"
Hey.
"
"
Hey.
"
"
Ssup?
"
"Iwaswonderi
ngifyoucoul
daccompanymeasmy
datet
omysi st
erswedding?
"
"
Stopwonder
ing.
"
"
Idonthaveadat
e."
"You'r
einuni
ver
sit
yIm sur
etheydontexpectyout
o
pullupwit
hadate.
"
"ButI
veal
readyt
oldt
hem Iam comi
ngwi
th
someone.
"
"
Taket
hatsomeonewi
th.
"
"
Imeantyou.
"
"Me?Ngat
hiuzongizelangedr
amamanj e.Ar
eyou
catchi
ngf
eel
ings?"
(looksli
keyou'
recomingwit
h
drama)
"
Imeanyoucantexpectmenott
o-"
"Ci
mal omafeelingskeh.Dontevercal
lme.
"(
getr
id
ofthosefeel
ings)
Idr
opt
hecal
landcl
ickmyt
onguest
andi
ngup.
"
Nywewaswonder
ingnywenywe!Tsek!
"
Ir
unupthestai
rsti
llmyr
oom.Igeti
ntheshower
soIcangocheckonAmanda.
THANDO
Iam eati
ngachaarandnandoschi
ll
isaucewi
th
bread.Ozoi
slooki
ngatmeshakinghishead.
"
Wher
edi
dyouevengetat
chaar
?"
"
Pleasel
eavemeal
one!
"
"
Sor
ry.
"
Ireadt
het
extUnyezisentassoonasmyphonei
s
on.
"
Amandai
sfi
ne.Shehadapani
cat
tack.
"
"
Asl
ongasshei
sokay.
"
Inodwi
pingat
ear
.
"
Whyar
eyoucr
ying?
"
"
It
ssad.Didyouseehowscar
edshel
ooked?She
t
houghtshewasdying.
"
"
Shesgoi
ngt
obeokayt
hou.
"
Hesit
snextt
omeandIhavemissedhisscent
.I
cl
enchmythi
ghst
oget
herandaccident
lymoan.He
l
ooksatmeandbi
teshi
sli
p.
"
Wenzani
?"(
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
)
Iignorehim asIgr
abahol
dofhi
ssemi harddi
ck.
Ivemi ssedthi
s!Hi
mtoobutmost
lyt
his!Icar
rassi
t
untili
tshardandhehol
dsmyhand.
"
Wecanhavesexwi
thouthur
ti
ngt
hebabyr
ight
?"
"
Asl
ongasyou'
regent
le.
"
Henodsandl
aysmedownont hecouchandunti
es
mygown.Igr
abhisdi
ckandleadi
ttomyentr
ance.
Hegetst
hemessageandsl
owlypusheshi
mselfi
n.
I
tsbeenawhi
le.
"
Sbusi
so!Aaah!
"
Hewai
tsf
ormet
oadjustandhest
art
smovi
ng.I
di
gmynai
lsi
nhi
sbackmoaning.

BHEKI
KHAYA
Ithrowafleeceoverherandkissherf
orehead.She
didntsl
eepallni
ghtcryi
nginthehospit
alcorr
idor
.I
takethenowawakeSi neandgomakehi m some
f
ood.Hi
smotherdeser
vesabr
eak.Igi
vehi
m hi
s
f
oodandheeatsl
aughing.
"
Baba!
"
Hecantr eall
yfeedhimselfbuthetr
ies.Ieati
nfront
ofhim ashel aughs.Theseboyhascheeks.The
houseissilentwithoutAmanda.She'dbecooking
wit
hhersi sterri
ghtnowmaki ngbr
eakfast.

KARI
SHMA
Istandupandgogetagl assofwater
.Ivebeen
prayingforanswer
sbutIgett
hesameanswer
everyti
me.Khuzwayoopensthedoorandpeeps
i
nside.
"
You'
redone?
"
"
Yeah.
"
"
Anyl
ight
?"
"
No.Not
hing.
"
"
Givei
tti
me.
"
Inodandf
oll
owbehi
ndhi
m.Hehasbeenver
y
suppor
ti
veofmygi
ftandIappr
eci
atei
t.
67
MONTHSLATER
NKOSI
NATHI
Thesepast sfewmont hshavebeenhardonme.
Amandahasbeeni nandoutofhospital
sfi
ghtung
forherli
fe.Shekeptonhavingthesepani
catt
acks
whenIwasar ound.Sandi
siwehasalsobeenabug
i
nmyl i
fe.Ipi
ckupmyphoneanddi alAmanda.She
picksupont hethir
dring.
"
Babe.
"
"
Heybabe.Y'
al
lback?
"
"
Yeah.Thewat
erwassocoldyeti
tbubbl
ed.I
t
houghti
twasanatur
alj
acuzzi
."
"
Howdi
ditgo?
"
"
Well.IswearIf
eltsomet
hingt
ouchmyl
eg!ButI
wasntall
owedtoopenmyeyes."
"
Real
ly?What
?!You'
reokay?
"
"
Yeah.I
m onl
yal
lowedt
oseeyoui
nthr
eedays.
"
"
Iwi
llwai
t.
"
Wewer
esi
lentf
orawhi
le.
"
Manda.
"
"
Nat
hi.
"
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyoubabe.
"
Wesaidourgoodbyesanddropped.Igotchanged
andwentdownstair
stothegym.Ibumpedi nt
o
Sandi
siwe.Ipr
etendednott
oseeher.
"
HeyNat
hi.
"
Istoppedonmyst eps.I
m verycl
osetokill
ingher
.I
turnaroundandassoonasoureyesmeetshe
clutchesherchestandbreathesheavi
ly.
"
Sheshavi
ngapani
cat
tack!
!"
Itr
yneari
ngandshefaint
s.Thi
siswhathappened
toAmandaeveryt
imeshewaswi thme.Iwalkaway
andexitt
hegym.Ical
lmymot herwal
kingi
ntomy
apart
ment.
"
Mom!
"
"
Baby.What
swrong?Yousoundemot
ional
."Mom.
I
mtheprobl
em.Im bewi
tched!
"
"
Nat
hi?What
?!"
Idropthecal
landwipemyeyes.Ideci
det
odo
pushupsandsitups.

UNYEZI
Il
ookatmyphoneconfused.I
sNkosi
nathidr
unk?
Langawal
kswhist
li
ng.Hestopsandl
ooksatme.
"
What
swr
ong?Yougotyour'
whatt
hehel
lface'
on.
"
"
It
sNathi
.Hesayshi
sbewi
tched.What
sgoi
ngoni
n
t
hisf
amil
y?"
"
Let
sgo.
"
HetakeshiscarkeysandIfol
lowbehi
ndhim.Is
Nathibacktosmokingagai
n?CauseIswearIwil
l
castr
atehim!!

KUHLEKONKE
Il
ookatherasshesl eepsandsi gh.Im sogladmy
parentsf
oughtforher .Shefellvi
cti
mt owitchcraf
t
andshewassupposedt odiebutI m gl
admama
andpapaf ought.Whywoul danyonebewi t
ch
anotherf
oraman?Si newal ksinlaughingfoll
owed
byhisfat
herandIshusht hem.Si neputsaf i
nger
onhismout hgiggli
ng.Ilif
thim up.
"
Get
ti
ngheavi
erf
ell
ow.
"
"
Im abi
gboy!
"
Il
aughandki
sshischeeks.Hecr
awl
soutofmy
ar
msandlaysnextt
ohisaunt.
"
Mama.
"
"
Yesboy.
"
"
GrannyandPapal
oveyou.
"
IlookatBhekikhayaandheshr ugs.Weir
d.He
snugglesint
oAmandaandsi gnalswit
hhi ssmal
l
handf orustoleave.Heissobossy.Wel eavet
hem
tosleep.Bhekikhayal
if
tsmeupcausi ngmet o
squeal.
"
Wit
htheki
dsasl
eepIcanhavemywi
fet
omysel
f!
"
Igiggl
eandhewal
kswi
thmei
nhi
sar
mst
oour
room.

UNYEZI
Wefindhim sweatyandpant
ing.Helet
susi nand
of
fer
susdr i
nks.Hisfat
hercantevenwaitandgets
st
rai
ghttothepoint.
"Whatisi
t?Ngizwakuthi
waut hiut
hakat
hiwe.
Imbangel
akwal okhoyi
ni?
"(iheardyousaying
you'
rebewit
ched.Whatsther easonbehindthat
?)
"Baba.RememberhowAmandaalwayshadpani
c
att
acksaroundmeandifIi
nchedcl
oseshe'
dfai
nt?
"
Webot
hnod.
"
Ithappenedagai
ntoday.
..
"
ButIt
houghtAmandawasget
ti
ngcl
eansedt
oday.
"
Notwi
thAmanda.Wi
thSandi
siwe.
"
"
Ubanil
owo?
"(whost
hat
?),
Langaasks.
"
It
sthi
sot
hergi
rlIhadsomet
hingwi
th.
"
Pr
obabl
ytheonebehi
ndAmandasat
tacks.
"Samet
hinghappenedt
ohert
oday.It
hinkIneedt
o
goseeGogo.
"
"Bowubonakukul
ungelelokhondodanaenza
njal
o."
(i
fyouseethatf
itsondoso.)
"
Mom?
"
"
Yeahboy.
"
Henodsandr ubshisface.I
m notgoingtotel
lhim
anythi
ngbuthebet terfi
ndoutforhi
mself.Iki
sshis
headandhughi m.Mybabyboyi sgrowingup
pret
tyfast.I
m happyI mthefi
rstper
sonhecal l
s
whenlifegetstough.
"
You'
ref
etchi
ngyourbrot
her
sfr
om schoolr
ight
?
Meandyourdaddyhaveameet
ingdowntown."
"
Yeahmom.Theycansl
eepoverr
ight
?Imf
reet
his
weekend.
"
"Yeahbaby.I
m gl
adyoudi
dn'
ttaket
hatAmer
ican
deal.
"
"
Im gl
adt
oo.
"
Il
ethi
m goandhi
sfat
herhugshi
m.
"
Iloveyouson.
"
"
Iloveyout
oodad.
Theypul
lawayandaswewal
kout
.
"
Dad.
"
Langat
urnsback.
"
HaveIevermadeyoucr
y?"
Langasmi
les.
"Coupleoftimesbutther
ewasthisoneti
me.Ihad
putabook, moneyandpenci
linfr
ontofyoutosee
whichpat hyou'
dchooseinl
if
ebutyoupushedal l
them asideandranintomehuggi
ngme.What
mademecr ywasIwasntevenanopt i
onbityou
sti
llchoseme."
Ismil
ebli
nki
ngtear
saway.WhyhaveIneverheard
oft
his?Theyhugeachot
heronemor etimeandwe
l
eave.AssoonaswegetinthecarIpinchLanga.
"
Ouch!
"
"
WhywasIonl
yhear
ingaboutt
hatt
oday?
"
"
Mkami
.Youneverasked.
"
Ipi
nchhi
m agai
n.
"Ah!Ihar
dlyshar
ethatwi
thpeopl
eact
ual
lyI
'
ve
neversharedi
twit
hanyone.
"
Il
ookathi
m ashesecr
etl
ywi
pesat
ear
.Sweet
.I
ki
sshi
scheek.
"
You'
reagr
eatdad.Il
oveyou."
"
Iloveyousomuch.
"
Hedr
iveswi
thonehandast
heot
herhol
dsmi
ne.

KHULEKANI
"
Babe!
"
Shecomesoutofthebat
hroom nakedwi
pingher
hai
rwit
hatowel.
"
Ishoul
d'vecomebackear
li
erbutIcanwor
kwi
th
t
his.
"
Iputmylaptopbagdownandtakeof
fmyshoes.I
stopwhatIam doi
ngwhenInoti
cehersi
tdownand
shewentf
rom havi
ngf
ourr
oll
stot
hree.
"
Babe.
"
"
Mmmhm.
"
"
You'
rest
il
ltaki
ngt
hosesl
immi
ngpi
ll
sar
en'
tyou?
"
Sheshakesherhead.
"
Dontl
iet
omeSt
ufuza.
"
"
Im not
."
"
Standup.
"
Shest
andsupInoti
cehowsmallhert
ummyi s.
Whatt
hefuck?Iwal
ktowar
dsherandpickherup.
"Thehel
l?
!You'
rel
ightasf
uck!Wher
ear
ethose
pil
ls?
"
"
Whatpi
ll
s?"
Iheadtowar
dherbagandshesnat chesitbef
oreI
do.Isnat
chitf
rom herandopeni
t.Itakeoutthose
pi
ll
sandholdthem up.
"
WhatdidIsaytoyouaboutt
hesepil
ls?Haveyou
t
houghtaboutt
hesideef
fect
s?Ifyouwanttol
ose
wei
ghtgot
othegym!Eatheal
thy!Nott
akebl
oody
pi
ll
s!"
"
I-
"
"
Youwhat
?Sel
fi
sh?
!"
Ishakemyheadandl eaveherst
andingt
her
e.I
thr
owt hepil
lsint
hetrashcanandtakeabeerout
thefr
idge.Tshegoisgoingtodri
vemenuts!
68
KHULEKANI
IwalkintoTshegolooki
ngatherselfi
nthemirr
or.I
fel
tastinginmyhear t
.Sheisr
eallygett
ingr
idof
thatbeauti
fulbody?Iwal
ktowardsherandstand
behindher.
"
Stuf
uza.
"
Shel
ooksupatme.
"
You'rel
ett
ingpeopledict
ateyourl
if
eandi
nthe
midstofi
tallIhavetosuff
er.
"
"
I'
m abi
ggi
rl
."
"
Andyou'
veal
waysbeenone.Ther
eisnot
hing
wr
ongwi
thal
it
tl
efat
."
"
ButIdontl
iket
hewayIl
ook.
"
"Thanchangeit
.Notusi
ngthosepil
ls.Comeon.Get
dressed.We'
regoi
ngtothegym."
"
Thegym?
"
"
Yeah.Youwannal
osewei
ght
?Let
sgo!
'
Shenodsandheadsf orthecloset
.Shecomesback
dressedinhert racksuitandthey'r
enotast i
ghtas
before.Isighandwal kaway.Sowher ewi
llIhol
d
ontowhenmyl ovehandl esaregone?Whatabout
me?Al lthattummygone.Idontwantasl ender
woman!Buti fIgottosacr i
fi
cemyl ovef
orherbody
thancool .

BHEKI
KHAYA
Shesnoredli
ghtl
yandIclosedhermouthandnose
l
aughing.Shegaspedandopenedhereyes.She
punchedmewhi l
epanti
ng.
"
Iknewyouwannaki
llme.Sucki
tup.You'
rest
uck
wit
hme."
Webot hlaughed.Shegotoutofbedandwentto
fr
eshenup.Imadet hebedandt ookoutanout
fitf
or
her.Ir
andownst ai
rsandthedri
veraler
tedmethey
wereready.
"
Wewi l
lbel
eavi
ngsoon.Si
li
ndeuMadam.
(we'
re
wai
ti
ngonmadam.)"
TheynodandIexcuset
hem.Shecomesdown
dressed.
"
Wow.
"
Shetur
nsar oundforme.Okay.WhydidIchoose
thoset
ightjeans?Thatass!Icl
earmyt
hroatasI
getasti
ffi
e.Shelooksatmybonerandgiggles.
"
Khaya!
"
"
Kuhl
e.Let
sgo.
"
"
Wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngmesoear
lyi
nthemor
ning?
"
"
Peaches.Asambe.
"(
let
'sgo.
)
"
Theki
ds.
"
"
They'
reatNat
his.
"
"
You-
"
"
Peach.Pl
ease.
"
"
Okayf
ine.
"
Final
ly!It
akherwarm softhandinmineandkissit
l
ightl
y.Iopenthedoorforher.Shemustbegratef
ul
Iboughthersneaker
salongcauseitgonnabea
l
ongdayf il
ledwi
thfunandgames.

NATHI
Myapar t
mentisamess.Ipickupthet
oysonthe
fl
oorandstartcl
eani
ngup.Amandaisti
redsoItr
y
tokeepitdown.Wholef
tthefuckenmi
lkonthe
counter
?!
"
Nkanyezi
!"
Ispi
llt
hespoil
tmil
kinthesi
nkandwasht
hemi
l
k
j
ar.Ir
efil
landputi
tint
hefri
dge.
"
Whoat
emydi
etchi
cken?
!"
"
LamiandSanel
e."
"
Im gonnaki
llt
hose-
"
"
Leavet
heki
dsal
one.
"
Amandapushesmeasidewi
thhercur
veandt
akes
j
uicef
rom t
hefr
idge.
"
Whendidyouwakeup?Thoughtyou'
dbet
ir
ed
f
rom l
astni
ght
."
"
Aft
eryousneakedout
.It
houghtsot
oo.
"
Shehandsmeagl
assofj
uice.
"
Thankyou.Dontyouhavecl
assest
oday?
"
"Nope.ThankGod!Mondaysbor
emewor
seon
campus!"
"
IwishIwasyou.Ihavepract
iceat13h00andIam
t
ir
ed.We'r
eplayi
ngagainstChief
sthi
sSundayand
wegott
abeready."
"
You'
dbepl
ayingagai
nstAr
gent
inaandt
hem i
fyou
wer
einAmer
ica.
"
"Yeahbutmyhomei shere.I
tsnotaboutt
hemoney
Igotshit
loadsofthose.Iwantt
odowhatIl oveand
sti
llbenearyou.
"
Shesmil
esandwalksi
ntomyar
msandl
aysher
headonmychest
.
"
Baby.
"
"
Huh.
"
"
Who'
sSandi
siwe?
"
Icoughandshelooksupatme.Idr
inkmyj
uiceand
shefol
dsherar
ms.
"
Why?
"
"
Nkosi
nat
hi.
"
"
Uhm.
..
shewasoneof
..
.mhhm.
"
"
Mhhm?
"
"
Yeah.
"
"
Idontspeakhum.
"
"
Iknow.
"
"
Shewasoneofmy.
..f
loozi
es?
"
Sheshakesherheadandwal
kspastme.
"Thatwasbef
orewegotbackt
oget
herbabeI
swear!
"
"
Doyouknowwhatsheputmet
hro-
.Youknow
what
?Whatever
!"
Iwatchherasshebangsthebedroom doorbehi
nd
her.Whatj
ust-
?Igetbacktotheki
tchentocook
breakf
ast
.Couldn'
tsheatl
eastfi
nishhersent
ence?

TSHEGO
Assoonaswewal ki
ntot
hegym Iam metwi t
h
womenwi thsi
xpacksandmuscularthighs.
Everyonel
ooksatuswhenwest epin.Khulekani
hasmygandi nhisandIam gr
ippi
ngi t
.One
whisperst
oherfr
iendwhenwepass.
"
Final
lysheconsider
sl osi
ngaf
ew.Wasst
art
ingt
o
f
eelsorr
yforthathot
tie."
Khul
ekanist
opswal
kingandIt
rypul
li
nghi
m.
"
Yout
hinkyou'
reJanVanRebi
ecksdaught
erheh?
"
Thesl
im Caucasi
anwomanl
ooksathi
m.
"
Nowl i
stenher
eBeat r
iceshutt
hef
uckup.
Ngeshwapala.
(f
latass)"
"
Im notBeat
ri
ce.
"
"
Wel
lyoul
ookl
ikeone.
"
Hewal ksawayandt hepoorwomani s
embar r
assedandf urious.Khulekanicantshutup
somet i
mes.Wor sehedoesn' tli
kewhi tepeopl
e.Hi
s
veryracist
.Hesayst heiraccentsannoyt heshi
tout
ofhim butIthi
nki t
sbecauseofhi shighschool
years.Thekidsusedt ocallthem 'k@*$#&s'cause
theyweret heonlyblackkidsinthatschool.
"
Okaybabe.Let
sst
artwi
thwar
m ups.
"
Wedoj umpi
ngjacksf
orafewminut
esunt
ilweget
di
stur
bedbythatl
adyandaver
ytal
lbuf
fman.
"
Ehbr
o."
OkayIdontl
iket
hataccentei
ther
.Khul
ekanil
ooks
upathi
m.
"
Yini
?"(
What
?)
Unyezi
steachi
ngs.Neveraccommodat
eawhi
te
per
son.
"Mywif
esaysyou'
regivi
ngheri
ssues.Ar
ewe
gonnahaveani
ssuelad?"
"
Tsekwena.Nywi
feyamasi
mba.
"(
fuckyou.Shi
tofa
wif
e.)
"
Whatbr
o?"
"
Sukandoda.Uzol
imal
a."
(moveman.you'
l
lgethur
t.
)
"
Whathesayl
ady?
"
Hel
ooksatmeandIkeepast
rai
ghtf
ace.
"Hesaidmoveorhewil
lki
ckyourass.Respectt
he
manandputyourbit
chontheleashFreddi
e",
thi
s
otherguywal
kuptous.
Hehasaspot i
ethati
sposit
ionedsidewaysonhis
head.Hiswal
kexplai
nsthathisghett
oasfuck.
Neverseensuchghett
ointhesurbs.
"
Thi
sladi
sdi
srespect
fulandr
aci
stbr
o."
"
Wel
lsucki
tupcauseheownst
hisgym.
"
It
rynott
oactsur
pri
sedbyt
his.Heownst
hisgym.
"
Notonl
ythisone.Ever
yoneoft
hem ar
oundt
own.
AhKhul
enjayam."
Theyshoulderbumpandhavet
hissecr
et
handshake.Theguyshoost
het
woaway.
"
Mandl
a.Mamasl
oSeho.Babe.Mandl
a."
"
Hi.
'
"
Seho?Gamal
iphil
elo?
"(Whatnamei
sthat
?)
"Tshegoi
sthename.Sehoi
swhathepr
onouncesi
t
as."
"
Oh.Msot
ho?Wadl
aKhuzwayo!
"
Theylaughandtheguyleaves.Wegetbackt
o
exerci
sing.I
mreal
lyt
ir
edbutwontsayanythi
ngas
yet.

UNYEZI
Idigmynai l
sdeeperint
ohisbackandIur gehim on
ashet hr
ustsdeeperandfast
er.Hehasmyl egson
hisshoulder
spumpi nginmeandIfeelmyl egs
shakeandImoanl oudlyvi
brat
ingwiththeur get
o
cum.Ishedat earwhenIcum andhegr oans
shaki
ngasheshoot sinme.Hecol l
apsessweat y
andheavingonmel etti
ngmelegsgo.
"
Fuckbabe!
"
Il
aughandkisshisshoul
der
.Herol
lsofmeand
pul
lsmeclosert
ohim.Irunmyfi
ngert
ipsonhi
s
ski
n.
"
Mawabo.
"
"
Khuzwayo.
"
"Iwaswonder
ingi
fwecangoonavacat
ion?Just
youandme.Ourboysar
egrownnow.
"
Inodsmil
ingandhesmi
lesbackki
ssi
ngme.He
getsont
opofmeagain.
"
Nowcomel
etmegi
veyouanot
herboy.
"
Igiggl
easIf eelhi
m gethardagai
n.Wehavebeen
tr
yingforanotherbaby.Iwantl
otsofkidsandhe
sharesthesamewi shes.IknowIjustgotmybody
backintoshapebutIcanbouncebackagai n.

THANDO
"SoI'
l
ltakehi
mfort
heweekend.Mymom mi
sses
him.I
tscool?
"
"Yeah.Hedoesn'
tbreastf
eednomor eandhisover
3mont hs.ButIt
hinkyourmothercancomehere.
Shecanst ayaslongasshewants.Icanthavemy
babyt
ravel
li
ngal
lthewayt
oKwaNongoma.
"
"
Eish.Thatsoundsf
airenough.Yousur
eabout
l
ett
ingmom st aywi
thyou?"
"I
tsf
ine.Igetl
onel
yatt
imessoshesgood
company."
"
IknowI
m har
dlyar
oundandal
lbut
-"
"
It
sfi
neOzo.
"
No.It
snotfi
nebutIm noti
nthemoodt ogetint
oan
argumentwit
hhimri
ghtnow.Ilookathim ashi
s
phonechimesandhetakesitoutofhi
spocket.
"
Look.Igott
ogo.
"
Ir
ollmyeyes
"
Asal
ways.
"
Hewal ksouttexti
ngbackwhoeverr extedhim back.
Nogoodbyeki ss.Iwal kupstar
isandexer ci
seso
l
ongNengii ssleeping.Mybodyhast akendrastic
changesbutitsgettingback.Isti
llhavethe
str
etchmarksonmyt ummyandboobs.Myboobs
aresaggybutIschedul edaboobj obsonowor r
ies.
IknowOzof indsmeunat tr
acti
ve.Hei scheati
ngI
canfeeli
t.Idontevenwannaknow.Acal
lfr
om
Noxolocomest hr
ough.
"
Heymama.
"
"
Noks.
"
"
Whatar
eyouupt
o?"
"
Exer
cisi
ng.
"
"Yesgir
l!Lookt
heweddingphotoscameintoday
andIwillhandy'
al
lthem atl
unch.You'
recomi
ng
ri
ght?"
"Yeah.Ineedsomewine!Ij
ustst
opl
ed
breastf
reedi
ngandIwantsomebeverage.
"
"
Okayt
hangi
rl
."
ItextNengi
snannyt ocomei
ntodayandgetback
totummyt wist
ers.Afewmor
eandI m done.
69
SEASONFI
NALE
6MONTHSLATER
THANDO
IpeekedinonNengiandLayconandIsmi leabi t.I
rememberwhenLayconwasst i
llinhospitalafterI
gavebirt
ht othem andhi slungshadn' tfull
yf ormed
bythen.Ispenthour sprayingforhi mt omakei t.He
spentthr
eemont hsinani ncubat orandIthi nkit
real
lyaff
ectedOzoaswel l
.Hewassodi stantt hatI
actual
lythoughthewascheat ingt oonlyfindout
thathehadpl annedapar tyformeandourchi ldren.
Iarri
vedhomewi thLayconi nmyar msandwas
welcomedbyhi m withNengiinhi sar ms.Myf ami ly
arewhatwecal lhypocri
tes,t
heywat chedmewhi ne
aboutmysuspi cionsanddi dn'ttellmeitwas
becausehewaspl anningasur pr i
separ t
yt houIdi d
fi
nditcutetohaveapar tybutalsounnecessar y.
"
Babe!
!"
Il
ookupathi
m andheshakeshisheadsmi
li
ng.
Thi
smanisfl
awlessl
ybeaut
if
ul!
"
You'
ret
hinki
ngaboutmear
en'
tyou?
"
Il
aughedandst
oodonmyt oeski
ssi
nghi
m.He
spankedmybut
tandsqueezedi
t.
"
Yourki
dsar
esl
eepi
ng?
"
"
Myki
ds?
"
"
Uhhuh!Theynaught
y!Idon'
thavenaught
yki
ds.
"
"
Oho!OkayOzo!I
tsFi
ne-
o!"
"
Ah!Chi
neke!
"
IlaughasIpul
lhi
mt owardstheki
tchen.Iturnof
f
thestoveandl
ookathim ashedri
nkswat er.Hei
s
j
ustwear i
nghi
sshortsandistopl
ess!
"Don'tl
ookatmel
iket
hat
.I'
l
lgetyoupr
egnant
again."
"Again?Notaf
terDadhadmyheadf
orhavi
ng
chil
drenoutofwedlock!
"
Hesmi
lesandkneel
sdowni
nfr
ontofme.
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
"
Proposi
ng.
"
"
What
?"
"
Wil
lyoumar
ryme?
"
"
You-wai
t.
..why?
"
"
Thando!I
'
m get
ti
ngner
vousher
eandmykneei
s
st
art
ingt
ohur
t!
"
"
Okaysorrybutsaysomer
omant
icspeechandask
menicel
y."
Hest
andsupanddust
shiskneeandwal
ksaway.
What
?Hisangr
ynow?Ithoughthewasj
oki
ng.

UNYEZI
Ipi
ckupLakhesclot
hesandcleanaroundhisroom.
Fuck!Thi
schil
disgoi
ngtomakemegr owold
befor
emyt i
mecomes!Argh!Nowondert hi
sroom
smell
edsobad!Ithr
owhissocksinhisdustbi
nand
walkout.
"
Lakhe!
"
"
Mah!
"
"
Gof
etchNkanyeziwe'
regoi
ngout
!"
Hecomesupandst
andsatt
hel
astst
air
s.
"
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"
"
Spur
."
"Ei
shma.Leavemebehi
nd.Ihavet
ogot
oskat
e
cit
ywi
ththegent
s."
Ilookathi m andshakemyheadandwal kaway
rubbingmyback.Thi sbabyi sheavy.Iheadf orthe
elevatorandgodown.Webui ltanewhousesi nce
I'
m pregnantandImadesur ethear chitectisagood
one.Ist artonbaki ngwhi l
ecooki ngdumpl i
ngsand
beefcur ry.MaMkhi zewalksinandl ooksatmewi th
herfistsonherwai st
.Shesmi lesandwal ksout
diali
ngonherphone.Ir ubmybackagai nand
decidet ogodomygar den.Mybacki sonf ir
e!I
standuppassi nganowbusywi t
hmypot s
MaMkhi zesi nging.Iarchmybackont hecol d
elevatorwal landsi ghbutthereliefdoesn'tlast!I
takeashowerandashar ppainshoot sf r
om my
abdomenandIgr unt.
"
Baby!
!Baby!
!"
What'
sLangadoingher
esoear
ly?Iwal
kout
wal
kingl
ikeapengui
n.
"
Ohshi
t!Yourwat
er!
"
Il
ookdownandmywat
erj
ustbr
oke!
"
Imi
nlabour
!!
"
Ist
artpani
cki
ngandhepani
csaswel
l
!
"
Thebag?
"
"
MaMkhi
zehasi
tdownst
air
s.Let
'sgo.
"
Ibal
ancemyselfwit
hhim andwewalkt
oget
her
.
Anot
hercont
racti
onhit
sandIbithi
sarm!
"
Ouch!
!"
Icar
ryonwalki
ngjusti
nmygown.Ineedtosi
t
down!Thi
sfuckenbabyisaweekear
ly!
"
Aaaaaaah!
"
"
Igotyou!Let
'shur
ry.Yes.Ther
ewego.Br
eat
hei
n."
"
Shutup!
!"
Heshut
supandl
eadsmet
othecarwi
tht
hebagon
hi
sarm.

NKOSI
NATHI
Il
ookedatt
hepregnancytestandsighedinrel
ief
!I
wasscar
edforasecond.Idon'twantherpregnant
asyet
.Il
ookedatherassheat
esomecake.
"Youneedt
ogetbackoncont r
acept
ive.Maybefi
nd
onethatwi
llt
reatyoubet
tert
hantheotherone.
"
"
Yeah.Ihaveanappoi
ntmentwi
tht
hedoct
oron
Wednesday.
"
"
Comeher
e."
Shewal
kedovert
omeandsatont
opofme.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iknow.Il
oveyout
oo.
"
Shelaysherheadonmyshoul
derandIwr
apmy
handsaroundhere.
"
I'
mthi
nki
ngofst
art
ingmyownsoccert
eam.
"
Sher
aisesherheadandl
ooksatme.
"
Why?
"
"Il
ovesoccerbutthelasti
njuryhadmet hinki
ng.
Whati fIgethur
treal
bad?Idon' twanttobe
walkingaroundwithali
mpal lmyl i
fe.Atleast
havingmyownsoccert eam givesmeachancet o
sti
llbeinvest
edinsomethi
ngt hatIloveplusIdon't
wantyout obealwaysnur si
ngme.You'renotmy
wifeyetandasmuchasIl oveitwhenyoutakecare
ofmebutIdon' twantyougivingmewifelyduti
es
whileyousti
llmygirl
fr
iend.Iwantyoutorelaxand
l
etmet akecareofyoul i
keIdidwhenIwasst il
l
tr
yingtowinyouoverf r
om thatass.
"
Shesmi l
esandkissesme.Il i
ftherupandlayher
downont hecouch.Ilookattheclockonthewall
.
It
's16h57andhercur f
ewis18h00.Icoul dmakei
t
work.Myuncl egaveheracurfewj ustt
ospit
emeto
remindthatshe'
snotmywi fe.Evil
.Yes!
"
Aaah!
",
shemoansasIsl
idei
ntoher
.
ShescratchesmeasIgodeeper.Ihol
dherhands
aboveherheadwit
honehand.She'sgoingt
opay
forr
aisi
nghervoi
ceatmeearli
er.
"
Nkosi
nat
hi!
"
It
hrustdeeperandshebit
esmyshoul derblade.
Thathurt
sbutI'm hi
ghonsexualadr
enalin.

NDABENKHULU
Il
ookatherasshesl
eeps.Isi
tthereandwat
chher
sl
eep.She'
l
lbeupsoon.Shesniff
sandopenher
smil
ing.
"
Hey.
"
Shewavesandst andsupgoi ngtothebathroom.I
heartheshowerrunning.It
hinkshejust
rememberedthatshe'sangryatme.Isigh.Istr
ip
andwal kt
othebathroom.Shei sunderthe
showerheadwithwatergushingdownherbeaut i
ful
body.IgetabonerwhenIt r
acemyeyesdownher
stret
chnar
ks.Iwalkinandstandbehindher.She
takesadeepbreathe.
"
Khuzwayo.Pl
easegetout
."
Inearherandsheexhales.Iki
ssherneckandshe
si
ghs.Iopenherlegsandmakeherbendover .I
groanasIfeelt
hewar mthofherpussy.Amoanis
si
ghedoutf r
om herl
ips.Ithr
ustsl
owbutdeep.
"
Youwantachi
ld?
"
Shemoansanddoesn'
tanswerme.It
hrustdeep
andshescr
eams.
"
Doyouwantachi
ld?
"
"
Ah!Yes-Fuck!
"
"
I'
llgi
veyouachi
ld.
"
"
Yes!Ah!
"
Ihadmyvasect omyr eversedaweekagoandI
knowt hatsher eall
ywant sanotherchi
ldbutI
wasn'treadythan.Herl egsstartshaki
ngsoIt hrust
deeperandst rokesi dewayscausi nghertotremble
asshecl enchesherwal lsaroundme.It i
ghtenmy
gri
par oundherwai stasIf eelmybodyt i
ghtening
andIcum i nher .Ipulloutandcat chherbeforeshe
fal
ls.She'ssti
llshakingwi that i
ghthol
dar oundme.

KHULEKANI
Mybabyi swrit
ingexamsandwi l
lbedonesoonso
I'
m planningavacationf
orus.Ievenboughthera
biki
ni.Iseeherwalkingt
owardsmycarandIopen
thedoorf orher
.
"
Baby.
"
Shenodsandget
sinsi
de.Il
ookatherasshe
cl
oseshereyes.Sheopensthem andt
ear
sfl
ow.I
hat
eitwhenshecr i
escauseIal
socry.
"
Baby?
"
"
Mygr
andmot
hercal
led.
..
"
Ikeepqui
etandshegl
ancesatmet
omakesur
eI'
m
l
isteni
ng.
"
Mymom.
..
"
Hervoi
cewaver
s.
"
She.
..
shecommi
tt
tedsui
cide.
"
Ikeepqui
etandr
estmyheadont
hest
eer
ingwheel
.
"
Shel
eftmeal
ett
er.
"
Shechuckl
es.
"
Alet
ter
?Sheshoul
d'vej
ustcal
ledme!
"
Wesiti
nsil
encewithherhandinmine.Fi
nal
lyasob
br
eaksoutfr
om herandIpullhert
omyside.She
cr
iesonmylap.OnetearescapesmyeyeandIsigh.
Ij
ustl
ethercryi
tal
lout.
70
UNYEZI
Il
ookattheli
tt
leboyi
nmyar ms.Iwipemyt ear
s
andsmil
e.Iki
sshischeeksandbreast
feedhim.
Langawalksi
nandsmi l
eswidel
y.
"
Mamawabant
wanabami
!"
(mot
herofmychi
ldr
en.
)
Ismil
eandhandhim hisson.Heki
sseshi
m al
lover
thef
aceandstart
sdancingwithhi
minhisar
ms
whil
ereci
ti
nghisclannames.
"
Mthunzi
.Hi
snamei
sMt
hunzi
."
Ismil
eandnod.Il i
keit.Ivi
deocallDadandGranpa.
Theyshowt hei
rfaces.IrememberwhenIbought
them smart
phones.Theydi dn'
tunder
standhow
theyworked.Thankstooneofmycousi nsthey
showedthem howi tworks.
"
MaGema!
",
dadgr
eet
s.
"
Mzukhul
u."
,gr
andpa.
Ismileandwaveatt
hem.Imreall
yti
red.Igi
ve
LangathephoneandDadsayshisgoingtocome
downandseehisnewgrandchi
ld.Healsonames
him Sphamandl
a.
"
Babe.Getsomer
estwhi
leIgobat
htheyoung
man.
"
Ijustnodandclosemyeyes.Thi si
smyl astbaby.
I'
vebuiltafamil
yformyself.NowIshoul
dwai ton
beingagr andmothersoon.Aver
yhotgrandmot her
.

KUHLEKONKE
Amandawalksi
nat17h33andgreet
sus.Shehi
gh
fi
vesSi
neandrushesupst
air
s.
"
Didyouevert
hinkt
hey'
dlastt
hisl
ong?
"
Bheki
khayaandgossi
ping.
"Notreal
ly.It
houghtaf
terhi
ghschoolt
hey'
dmove
on."
"
Youruncl
ecal
led.
"
"
Whatdoeshewant
?"
"Hesaysthatheneedsy'allt
ocomedown.Hewent
toconsul
taweekbackandwast ol
dyourf
ather
demandsthaty'
allgetwelcomedbackt
othefamil
y
agai
n."
"
Whoi
sgoi
ngt
opayf
oral
lthat
?"
"
Yourot
heruncl
eIt
hink.
"
"
Myot
heruncl
e?Al
lmyuncl
e'
sar
edeadbeatmos.
"
"
Idon'
tknowanyt
hing.
"
"
I'
llcal
lhi
m back.
"
Hepi
ckshissonupandkisseshischeekandSine
wi
pesitof
f.Il
aughandBhekikhayaputshi
m down.
Hel
ooksathim asSi
newalksaway.
"
Hisgr
owi
ngupi
sn'
the?
"
Il
ookathi
m andnod.
"
Hewon'
tneedmesoon.
"
"
Hewi
llal
waysneedyouBabakhe.
"
"He'l
lbeabl
et oopent
hesnackscabi
netwithoutmy
help.He'
l
lbeabletocl
imbhi sbedwi
thoutme
helpi
nghim up.Hewon'tneedmetotiehi
sshoes
ordresshim upanymore.
"
"
Buthe'
l
lneedyout
oteachhi
m onhowt
obea
man.
"
Henodsandl
ayshisheadonmythi
ghs.Amanda
wal
ksdownsi
ngingwithSi
neonherwai
st.
"
Mama!Aunt
iei
scooki
ngl
asagne!
",
si
nescr
eams.
Hiswordsaren'
taudibl
ebutIam alwayswithhi
m
soIunderst
andhim andheloveslasagne.They
di
sappeartotheki
tchenandIcuddlewithmyman.

THANDO
Isi
tdownwithNengiandherbrotherpl
ays.Ozo
comesinandmassagesmyf eet.
"OhIloveyou.Yourki
dshavebeencr
awli
ng
ever
ywhere.Layconbrokemyndebel
evase.
"
"
Didhegethur
t?"
"
No.I
tfel
lont
heot
hersi
de.
"
Theycrawlt
owardsusandl
ookatus.Laycontakes
hissi
ster
sfeetandst
art
spr
essi
ngit
.Wel aughat
thi
s.
"
I'
mthi
nki
ngofsendi
ngal
ett
ert
oyourf
ather
."
"
Real
ly?
"
"
Yeah.Youdeser
vet
obeaBut
hel
ezi
."
Ismil
eandhekissesmycheek.Thet
winski
sseach
other
scheeks.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"Il
oveyou.Thankyouf
ormakingmeaf at
herand
thanksforgivi
ngmeachancetol
oveyou
effor
tl
essly.
"
Ibl
ushandhechuckl
esandpul l
smet
owardshi
m.I
si
tonhisl
apandthetwinsjoi
nusont
hecouch
aft
ersomehel
pfrom t
heirf
ather
.

KHULEKANI
Ilookatherasshedoesheryoga.She'slostt
he
weight.Notext
remel
y.She'sj
ustthicknow.I'
m st
il
l
tr
yingtogetusedtohowlightsheis.Ieating
skopowi t
hherbutshe'
sondi et
snow.
"
Wantt
ojoi
nme?
"
"No.I
'
m waiti
ngonyoutofi
nishthosest
ret
chessoI
canstr
etchyouupri
ghtonthatmat."
Shel ooksatmeandsi ghs.Iwalkclosert
oherand
shesi t
sdown.Ipushherdownwhi lepull
ingouther
ti
ghts.Ithrowthem acr
osst heroom andslapher
thi
gh.Idiveinbetweenherthighswi t
hmyt ongue
readyt ot
asteherjui
ces.Keephermi ndoffher
mot hersdeathforawhil
e.

NOXOLO
Welayt
herecat
chi
ngourbr
eat
he.Il
ookathi
m and
hel
ooksatmesmil
ing.
"
Wher
edi
dyougetal
lthatener
gy?
"
"
Ist
il
lhavesomel
eft
.Gi
veme5andI
'
llbeback.
"
Hest andsupandgoest othebathroom.Igeti
nsi
de
thecoversandasI '
m abouttosl
eepSanel e
screamsf orme.IwearNdabest-shirtandwal
k
downst ai
rs.Hei
sstandingther
ewi thhis
skateboardunderhi
sarmpit.
"
Mom.I
'
m out
.I'
l
lbebackbef
oredi
nner
.Il
oveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Buthi
sal
readyout
side.Isi
ghandgetbackt
oback.
Ifi
ndmyhandsomemanwit
haboner
.Iwal
kback
outashewal
kstowar
dsme.
"
Noxol
o!"
"
No!
!Yho!
"
Ir
undownst
air
sandsl
eepi
ntheguest
room t
her
e.
71
SEASONFI
NALE
UNYEZI
Il
ookedatthebi
ggreentr
eeinfr
ontofmeandI
l
ookedatMkhulu.HenoddedatmebutIt
ookastep
backshaki
ngmyhead.
"
Ndodakazi
.It
'st
ime.
"
Ishookmyheadwi t
ht ear
strail
ingdownmyf ace.I
wasn'tready.Ihadturnedybackonmyancest ors
andIdon' tt
hinkIwantt ofacethem asyet .It
urned
aroundandwal kedbacki ntothehousewher eIjust
fel
lintomyDad' sarmsandcr i
ed.Hedi dn'
tsay
anythingbutjustheldmeasIcr ied.Theyaremeant
toprotectandprovidenottakeaway.I '
vel
ostal ot
ofthingsbecauseoft hem!Theyneededsomeone
i
ntheirdumbthroneandtheydidn'tcar
ewhogot
hur
tforthatt
hronetogetoccupied.Isi
tdownand
Dadjoinsme.Ilaymyheadonhi sshoulderand
si
gh.
"
They'
vebr
okenyou.You'
reangr
y."
"
YesBaba.Whydot
heydot
his?
"
"Youwi llnevert hingsoft hespir
it
ualwor l
dandhow
theywor k.Igett hatyou' reangrybutturningyour
backonyourancest orsi sar i
sk.Afatalri
sk.That's
wher eyourbl essingsshoul dcomef r
om.Yes.How
theydot hingsi sconfusi ngbuttheyhavet heir
reasons.Heart hem out .You'r
eluckyyoucan
communi catewi ththem i nthemanneryoucan.
Yourgr andmot herislosi ngherpatience.She' s
growingt i
red.Ifshet ur nsherbackonyout hanit
s
overf oryou.Youwi l
lnotbewel comedi nt he
spiri
tualr ealm.You' l
lbeal ostsoul
.Youwon' tbe
abletopr otectyourki dsbeyondt hegr ave.Think
aboutt hechi ldren.For give.Sotheycanbeabl eto
giveyouyourbl essings. "
Idon'
tanswerhi
m butgoandl
ookf
ormyki
ds.I
fi
ndthem wit
hthei
r'Gogo'.She'steachingt
hem
howt osmearcowdungont hef l
oor.They'
re
coveredi
ncowdung.Ohgoodl ord.Il
eavethem
ther
eandgocheckonMt hunzi.Hei supand
sucki
nghisfi
st.
"
Heboy.
"
Hesmilesshowingoffhi
sgums.Ipi
ckhi
m upand
ki
sshim al
loverhisf
acecausi
nghimtogi
ggl
e.My
phoneri
ngsandi t
sLanga.
"
Khuzwayo.
"
"
MaGema.Ni
njani
?"(
howar
ey'
al
l?
)
"We'r
eokaybabe.Yougood?Haveyoueaten?Ialso
packedsomebeefcurr
y.Ther
e'schi
ckenaswell.
"
"
Babe.I
t'
sfi
ne.Iat
e.Iwarmedupt hefoodyoul
eft
f
orme.Whenarey'al
lcomingback?"
"
OnSat
urday.
"
"
Ah!
!"
"
Don'
tbeababy.
"
"
But
-"
Theli
ttl
eonecr iesandIsitdownputt
inghisfather
onloudspeaker .It
akeoutmyboobandwi peit
befor
eput t
ingitinhismouth.Hehasgr own.Ispent
thr
eemont hsher eathome.MkhuluandDad
i
nsist
edt hatIneededhelp.Wedidn'
targuesince
Thandohasherownchi l
drennowcoul dn'
thelpme.
"
HasyourDadt
oldThandoaboutt
her
it
ual
?"
"
No.HesentKhul
ekanit
odoi
t.
"
"
Khul
ekani
?Ohgoodl
ord!
"
"Heisgoodatthr
owingbombs.Pl
usthi
smight
bri
ngbacksomebadmemor iesandKhul
ekani
knowsherbett
erplushi
sdumb."
"
PoorThando.
"
Wecar
ryongossi
pingandl
aughi
ng.

AMANDA
Ibl
owmynoseagai nandIgruntwhenIf eela
headachecoming.Itr
ystandi
ngupbutt hedizzy
spel
lalmostknocksmeof fmyfeet.Fucked!Isi
t
backdown.Iwokeupwi t
haf everandI'm al
onein
thishouse.Iwal ksl owlyt othekitchenl ookinglike
hell.Iwar m upsomemi l
kwhi l
eIt akeout
somet hingt oeat .Itakeabi teofabi scuitandi t
tastesl ikesand.Iwr ench.Ihaven' teatenanyt hing
sincemor ni
ngsonot hi
ngcomesout .Isitdownon
theki tchenf loorandcr y.Ihatefeel i
ngsi ck.Icall
Nkosi nat hiandi tringsunanswer ed.Hei splaying
today.Ideci detowat chitonli
ne.It oldhimI
coul dn'tmakei t
.Iseehi m.KHUZWAYO' 10'andhe
i
spl ayi ngpr ett
ywel l.Thegamei snear lyover.He
getst ackl edandhet umbl esonthegr oundwr ithing
i
npai n.
"
KHUZWAYOi
sdown!
!"
Ifeelemotionalandstar
tcr yi
ng.Iunder
standwhy
hesaidhewant edtoquitplayi
ngsoccer.Hebet
ter
quit.I
'
llnothavehim cri
ppled.

THANDO
Iopenthedoorf
orKhul
ekaniwhowalkspastme
screami
ng,"
Favour
it
eunclei
shere!
!"
.
Ishakemyheadast
het
winsst
umbl
eandf
all
runningt owar dshim.Hel i
ftsbot hofthem upand
kissest heircheeksear ni
nggi ggl es.I
'mjustgonna
standher eandwai tforhimt ot ellmewhati she
doingi nmyhouse.Heput sthem downandheads
totheki tchen.TF?If oll
owhi m andhei salr
eadyin
thefridge.Hesi t
sdownaf terr aidingmyf r
idge.I
shakemyheadandl eanagainstt hest
ove.He
shovesapi eceofchickeninhi smout handlooksat
me.Fi nallyI '
m noti
ced!
"
Ohhey.
"
Wow!
"
Bhut
i.
"
"
Wher
e'syourbabydaddy?
"
"
Atwor
k."
"
Mmmh.Whyar
en'
tyouatwor
k?"
"
I'
mtheboss.
"
"
Isn'
thet
hebossaswel
l?
"
"
No.
"
"
Huh?
"
"
It
'shi
sfat
her
'scompany.Hehasshar
es.
"
"
Oh.Shame.
"
Whati
sthatsupposedt
omean?
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"
"
Can'
tIvi
sitmysi
sterandherki
ds?
"
"
You?Wher
eisTshego?
"
"
Atschool
."
"
Soyoudeci
dedt
obot
herme?
"
"
Yeah.That
'smyj
ob.
"
Si
ghs.
"
Anyway.Youhavetogodownt
oeChamt
hu.Gogo
want
stoseeyou."
"
Why?
"
"You'
redumb.If
orgot
.Everwonder
edhowyouhad
kidswit
hOzza?"
"
Ozo.I
'
vewonder
ed.
"
"
What
ever
.Nowi
sti
mef
oranswer
s."
"
Oh.
"
Ineverreal
lywantedanswers.Iwasjustgl
adI
couldconceiveforhi
m.Hecar r
iesoneati
ngasi
fhe
hadn'tj
ustkil
ledmyjoyfort
heday.

NKOSI
NATHI
Iwipethewaterof
fmybodyandmyphoner ings.
It
'sAmanda.Ianswerquickl
y.Shet
oldmeshe
wasn'tokayi
nthemorning.
"
You'
reokay?
"
"Notr
eall
y.Ican'
teatanyt
hing.I
'
m nauseas.I
'
ve
beenwrenching.
"
"I
'
m comingt
opi
ckyouupsoIcant
akeyout
othe
doct
or.
"
"
I'
dappr
eci
atet
hat
."
"
Iloveyoubaby.
"
"
Iloveyo-
"
IhearwrenchingandIqui
ckl
ygetdr
essedandr
un
tothecar.Ihatei
twhenshe'
ssi
ck.
BHEKI
KHAYA
Shelooksatthe'
Uncl
e'andf
rowns.Whydi
dshe
dragmet ot
hismeeti
ngagai
n?
"
I'
m yourf
ather
stwi
n."
"
I'
venot
iced.
"
Igi
veheral
ook.
"
Wher
ehaveyoubeen?
"
"
InLondon.
"
"
London?
"
"Yeah.Intheoldendaystwi
nswer enotmeantt obe.
Onehadt odie.Thatwasmebutyourgr andmother
didn'tal
lowitandgavemet oherboss.Al adyshe
wor kedfori
nt heday.Sher
aisedmeandwel ater
movedt oLondon.Ihaveawi feandkidsbackhome.
I'
m alsoagr andfat
hernow.
"
Themansmi
lespr
oudl
y.
"
Goodf
oryou.Nowwhatdoyouwanther
e?"
Igi
veheranot
herl
ook.Shei
gnor
esme.
"Ihear
daboutmybr ot
her'
sdeat
handhear
dhelef
t
kidsbehi
nd.Thoughty'
al
lcoul
dcomebackhome
withme."
"
Why?
"
"Icantakecareofyou.Youdon'thavetodependon
aman.I '
llsendyoutoschool
.Youandyoursi st
er.
Y'al
lcanmakesomet hingoutofyoursel
ves.Nota
housewife."
Ahguesshi
sbeenkeepi
ngtrackwi
tht
hemedi
a.I
cr
ingewhenmywif
escoffs.
"Dependonaman?Housewi fe?School?Somet hing
outofoursel
ves?Don'
tpatronizeme.I '
m very
educated.Mynet-
wort
his400mi ll
ion.MYNET-
WORTH.Letmenotment i
onmyhusband' s.I
'
m not
dependingonhim.Iownbusi nesses.Ijustpr
efer
beingkeptbehi
ndthescenes.Thankyouf orthe
offerbutwe'
refi
ne.
"
Shest
andsupandpicksupSthe.Iwidenmyeyes
whenshetel
lsmeshe'
llbei
nthecar.Ilookatt
he
maninfr
ontofme.
"
Uhsi
r.Sor
ryaboutherat
ti
tude.
"
"
Iunderst
and.Doapol
ogi
zef
ormei
fIcameout
wrong.
"
Inodandt
akeherhandbag.

NDABENKHULU
Il
ookatherasshelooksatthepregnancyt
estand
bi
tesherli
p.She'
l
lnevergetri
dofthathabi
t.She
handsitt
ome.
"
I'
mtooner
vous.You'
l
ltel
lme.
"
Inodandsi
tdownwhi
lel
ooki
ngati
t.
"
Whatdoesi
tsay?
"
"
It
'sshowi
ng'
pregnant
'.
"
"
Pregnant
?"
Inodlookingatthet estconfused.Shejumpsup
andgrabst hetest.Howdoest hi
sthingtel
lifoneis
pregnant
?Iknewshewaspr egnantalr
eadybutshe
neededclarif
icat
ion.Shej umpsonmeandIcat ch
her.Shekissesmecr yi
ngandIsmi l
einthekiss.
"
Iloveyou.
"
"
Iloveyout
oo.
"
Il
ayherdownandki ssherwit
hmyhandin
betweenhert
highs.Shelet
soutabr
eat
hdiggi
ng
hernail
sonmyshoul der
s.

TSHEGO
Istompont hejointandspraythescentaway.Iput
onsunglassesasIseehi scarapproach.Mymom's
deathtookatollonme.Wor sesincewediedwhil
e
wewer en'
tonspeaki ngterms.Sheleftmealett
er
andIstil
lfai
ltoreadit.Igetint
othecarandgreet
him whil
echewi nggum.
"
You'
reokay?
"
Inodandlaybackontheseat
.Hedoesn'
tsay
anymorebutdr
ives.
"
Canyoudr
ivemet
ores.
"
Hedoesn'
tanswermebutcar
ri
esondr
ivi
ng.The
KeybyTemscomesonandInodmyheadal ongt
o
t
hebeat.
"Theheati
sget
ti
ngcol
der
.Theeyesar
esl
owl
y
closi
ng!
"
Isingal ongmovingmyhead.Inot i
cehei sdri
ving
tohi splace.I
'mtoohi ghforthis.Inoti
ceapaper
bagi nt hebackseat.Steers!Igrabitandstart
eating.Iwon'tconversewi thhim.He'llnoti
ceI
'm
high.Hekeepsst ealingglancesatme.I t
'sgoi
ngto
beal ongwayhome.
72
SEASONFI
NALE
NKOSI
NATHI
Ilookatthescr eenast hedoct ormovessomet hing
onherst omach.Il ookatherasshe' slookingatthe
dotont hescreeni nfasci
nat i
on.Thehear t
beatis
l
oudandIseet hedoctorsayi ngsomet hingbutI
can'treal
lyhearhi m.Thehear t
beat.Mychi ld'
s
heartbeat.Ami racl
ebabyf orsur e.Foughtt hr
ough
birt
hcont rol
.Iholdherhandandshel ooksupatme
andInot i
ceshe' sbeencr ying.HeckI '
vebeencr ying
too.Ilookdownatherast hef oct
orwi pesher.
"
Iloveyouandt
hankyou.
"
Shesmiles.Ikneeldowni
nf r
ontofgerasshesi
ts
upstr
aightpull
inghershi
rtdown.
"You'
vebeent her
ef ormethr
oughshitandI
appreci
ateit
.You'veneverst
oppedlovi
ngmeeven
thoughIwasshi t
tytoyou.YouknowI '
m notgood
withwordsbutIpr omiset
osingyouyourfavouri
te
songlatert
onight.SoAmandaSilangwecanyougo
outonadat ewithme?Butasmyf i
ance?"
Shel
ooksatmeandbl
inks.
"
Wil
lyoumar
ryme?
"
ShenodsherheadandIsmi l
eandstandup.Iki
ss
herpassionatel
y.WellIst
il
lneedt
obuyt heri
ngbut
fornowletmecher ishthi
smoment .I
fIknewthese
weregoingt obetheresul
tsIwould'
vetakenhert
o
thedoctorthatdayshecalledmesayingshewas
sicki
nsteadoflist
eningtoherwhenshesaidshe
wasbetter.

THANDO
Il
ookedatOzoast
heypour
edgoatbi
leonhi
m.I
l
ookedatt hetwi nsast heyplaywi thiziphandla.We
havingawel comi ngcer emonyf orOzo.Hewasn' t
mychosenonebutmysecondchancemat e.I
t
happenswhenyourchosenonedi es.LikeBabaand
Naledy.Iwipemyt earsasIseehi m wal ktowards
me.Heshakeshi sheadatmeandbr ingsmecl oser
tohim.Iholdont i
ghttohi m asIshakewi th
emot i
ons.Godknowst hatafterSphamandl aI
thoughtitwast heendf orme.ThatIwasn' tgoingto
fi
ndhappi nessoreverhaveki ds.Ifeellitt
lehands
onmyl egandl ookdownatt hetwinsj oini
ngi non
thehug.Igiggleandpi ckNengiupandOzopi cks
Laycon.Theysmi leanddi mplesappearont hei
r
cheeks.Theyl ookl i
kemebecausewel l Khuzwayo
genesarewar riors.ToughasShakaZul u.
"
Baby.
"
Helooksatmesmili
ng.Iputhi
shandonmyt ummy
andhelooksatmeconfusedandInodmyhead.He
l
aughsandkissesme.I'
m 5weekspregnant
.Ij
ust
hopeit
'snott
winsagai
notherwi
seI'
l
ljumpoffa
cl
if
f.
BHEKI
KHAYA
Iparkinherpaternalhomeandki dsr unt owardst he
carasIopent heboot.Igetoutandshei swal ki ng
towardsmedr essedr espectfull
y.Inearherandshe
thr
owsher sel
finmyar ms.She' sst i
llbeaut i
fulas
thefi
rstdayIsawheront hatstri
pperpol e.We' ve
comeal ongway.I '
m happyt oseehert hiscont ent.
Shefinal
lyacceptedheruncl eaf teral otof
convinci
ngfrom me.Amandai sst i
llabi thesitant
andissupposet oarri
vel atertodayf orthei r
Imbelekotomorrow.
"
MaSi
langwe.
"
"Myeniwam.I
'vedi
shedupforyou.Gositwi
ththe
othermenint
hekraal
.I'
l
lbr
ingyourfoodtoyouina
min."
Inodandpeckherf orehead.Shesmil
esandwalks
away.Iclosethebootaftert
hekidsl
efti
tempty.I
walktothekraalwheretheSil
angwemenar e
seat
ed.Isitdownonabenchaf t
ergr
eeti
ng.
"ThankyouKhuzwayoforlovi
ngandtaki
ngcareof
ourdaughter
s.You'
rearealman.
",
Bab'Si
langwe,
the
onef
rom Londonsays.
Hehasbl endedwellwit
hinhi
sfami l
y.Beingthe
eldestint
hefamilyheistheonethatwil
lslaughter
thegoattomorrow.Ican'
tbehereunfortunat
elyasI
havet ofl
youttoDubaiforameeting.

KHULEKANI
Il
ookatherasshesmokesherweed.Shehasher
dreadst iedmessi lyonherhead.Shei ssitti
ngi n
medi t
at i
onposi ti
on.Reggaei spl ayingsof tl
yinthe
backgr ound.She' sjustinherbraandt hong.She' s
l
ostwei ghtandl ooksver ysexy.She' ssti
llthickjust
biggerboot ywit
haf l
atstomach.She' sbeent aking
supplement sandt heweedhel ped.Iwal kinand
cl
oset hedoorbehi ndme.Shef inallynoticesme
andqui ckl yputsoutherj oi
nt.It
'sbeenmont hsof
meknowi nghernewsmoki nghabi tandsheal so
camecl ean.Shej ustdoesn'tfeelcomf or
table
smoki ngi nmypr esence.Apparent lyshef eelsasif
she'sdi srespecti
ngme.Thi sonewor ri
est oomuch
aboutmyf eel
ingst hansheshoul dher s.She'llquit
whenshewantst
o.Ial
sodon'tcri
ti
cizeher
smoki
ng.She'
sol
denough.Isitontopofherbed.
Shegotanewapart
mentandisani nter
natapubl
ic
hospi
tal
.
"
Babe.
"
"
Spur
aMal
uda!
"
Shegigglesandlauchesher
sel
fatme.Icatchher
easil
y.I
'vegrownaccustomedtohernewweight.
We'veagreedtomotr ushi
ntomarr
iageunt
ilshe
getsherfir
stpaycheck.

NDABENKHULU
"Isai
ddunkedwingsNdabe!Whatam Isupposedt
o
dowithpi
zza?"
Shesi
tsdownandstartscrying.Il
ookatSanel
e
andheisj
ustasconfused.Het akesouthi
sphone
andpr
essesonitf
orawhi le.Henearhismother
andbr
ushesherback.
"I
t'
sokaymom.Yourdunkedwi
ngsandbur
gerar
e
onthei
rway.
"
Bur
ger
?
"
Thankyoubaby.Cheesebur
gerr
ight
?"
"
Yes.
"
Hetakesouthi
sphoneagainandpr
essesi
t.He
passesbymeandwhispers.
"Youoweme.Goodt
hingyouownar est
aur
ant
.
Thosechef
snumber
scomei nhandy.
"
Hewinksandleavesmewi
thanowi
cecr
eam
eat
ingNoxol
o.
"
Sdu-mama.
"
Ihavetor
efr
ainfr
om cal l
inghersdudlacausei t
san
i
ssueandapparentl
yI'
m bodyshami ngher.Isit
nextt
oherandputherf eetonmyt hi
ghs.A
massagewil
ldowi t
htheseswol lenfeet
.Isti
llhave
7monthstogowi t
hthispr egnancy.
"
IloveyouKhuzwayo.
"
Il
ookatherandsmi
le.
"
Iloveyout
oomama.
"
Sher
elaxesont
hecouchasImassageherf
eet
.
Shame.Mypoorwi f
e.Herfeetar
eswoll
en.I'
m
exci
tedaboutt
hisbaby.Ican'
twaitf
ori
ttobebor
n.
Iwantababygirl
.

UNYEZI
Ileavet hei ncenseandcandl esbur ni
ngandhead
out.IfindLangawi tht hekids.Nkanyezii s
colouringanel ephantgr een.Isi tnexttothem and
Langaki ssesmyhead.Iam st i
llinmyheal erat t
ir
e.
Afterlettinggooft hehat redandcommuni cating
withmygr andmot hershegr ant edmemygi ftback.
Thout heki ngdom hasf al
lenbutt hegiftwi llcarr
y
onbei ngt r
ansferredf rom gener ationtogener ati
on.
I'
veopenedpl atf
or msonl inewher eIconsul tanddo
phot oreadi ngs.Ial sotalkaboutancest ralgi ft
s.I
shedl i
ghtonspi r i
tuali
ty.I'
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THEEND

Thankyouf
oryourpat
iencezi
thandwa.