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English 1101

Mariah Smith

Debra Blouse

09.09.2020
Closed Curtain

You can take the dancer out of dance, but you can’t take the dance out of the dancer. A flip on a

common quote that actually rings quite true in my case. Dance was a big part of my life for several years.

From when I was about nine up to when I was about fourteen or fifteen, I was a dancer. It sounds like a

short time to anyone but to me, it was a long period of happiness. I had been in and out of competitions

and recitals, trying different genres and meeting a ton of different dance families. Suddenly, though, it all

had come to an end.

I had just joined a hip-hop team without auditioning just because I had been in that particular

dance teacher’s class before this and she was kind enough to let me in without having me audition. Now, I

was going to compete against other hip-hop teams in Ohio and I was going to travel to do so. I was so

excited. We learned our dance, we worked out together, we grew as a team, we practised and practised for

so long. I loved my team; Every night we rehearsed our dance, we had so much fun. We were close and

we had each other’s back in everything. There were tough, long and tiring nights but we all were very

helpful to one another, helping each other to see what we could do better and what we were doing great

with.

We had done only one local competition and it was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.

While I don’t remember much of that particular competition, I will never forget the adrenaline rush that it

gave me. I was nervous but my nervous habit is smiling. I was smiling everywhere, jumping up and down

as we walked around backstage, running in and out of the audience to watch, and walked around with the

team before it was our time to be on stage. The smell of hairspray and popcorn, sugar and snacks as

everyone tried to keep awake because competitions, unfortunately, do take the whole day. But, the next

competition seemed to be more of a surprise for my parents. It was in Kentucky, the expo area, near

where they usually have the derby. So, that meant that there would be travelling, finding a hotel, all of a
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English 1101

Mariah Smith

Debra Blouse

09.09.2020
sudden. My dance teacher had added us to that competition at the last minute because it meant if we won,

we would be in the running to go to Disney World and compete there.

The event itself was amazing. I was everywhere with everyone. We’d sat in the hallway as a

team, getting our costumes, hair, and makeup done. Us girls had to change behind a towel as girls on a

team do. We got glitter sprayed on the part between our pigtail braids. (And actually, it came out quite

easily.) Some of us smelled like coffee from bringing our own Starbucks, some of us smelled like sugar

from consuming so many snacks. I remember our only guy on the team, Dylan, getting more

progressively sick as the day went on. I, being the closest to him from knowing him from a previous

dance school, was there to comfort him, feeling so bad that he had to push through and perform at his best

when all he wanted to do was rest. At our last rehearsal backstage, I caught him crying and had to pull

him away from the group to console him.

Then, it was time to perform. I vaguely remember it since I was so busy trying to do the right

moves. I did make a mistake but I covered it well and with a standard cover-up so I worried about that but

all our trick moves went out without a hitch. My heart stuttered so many times in my chest, my eyes were

on pure tunnel-vision as I focused on myself and my team. I didn’t even think to look at the audience. Not

that I could anyways, all you could see was the front row. And that was if you looked long enough to let

your eyes focus past the bright stage lights. The routine ended and we all clamored off the stage, heavy

breath and sweat dripping off us, falling onto the cement ground, because it was cold, and looking up at

the screen to watch the instant replay. Looking around, I found Dylan just now sitting down and he was

holding his stomach. “Did you throw up?” I asked, concern written on my face. When he answered with a

tired nod, I wasn’t sure how to respond, just giving him a deep pout to let him know I was sorry without

saying it. Going back to watch the replay, our coach was giving us pointers, mostly telling us what she

was proud of us for.

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English 1101

Mariah Smith

Debra Blouse

09.09.2020
At last, we were at the hotel room. And while they sounded somewhat proud, my parents

drowned it all by telling me they were frustrated that this was all last minute. That they couldn’t

continuously spend money on hotels and travel like this. I felt sick to my stomach. I was so heartbroken. I

thought I had finally found something that belonged to me, something I could own with my whole body

and my whole heart and here they were taking it away from me. I tried to convince them that this

wouldn’t always be the case and that they just couldn’t. They couldn’t take this away from me. Not like

they took everything else.

With time, I forgot about it. Until it was time to go to class to rehearse and my mom didn’t seem

ready to go. I was so confused, I felt lost and my body was so heavy. She wasn’t going to take me

because she’d dropped me out of the class. I knew it. I’d had a sick feeling in my stomach when I’d come

down from my room and it was utterly silent. After that day, I fell into a weird, depressed state of mind. I

didn’t get up for much. I felt numb. I watched a lot of TV, which I usually never do, the sound just white

noise as I hardly retained any of the visual pictures. I was very unproductive and my grades suffered. I

wasn’t an A student but I mostly had Bs, this time around, that wasn’t the case. Dance meant a lot more to

me than they could ever realize and while I have a good relationship with my parents, I’ll never forget

how detrimental that was to my wellbeing.