https://www.huffingtonpost.com/fani-stipkovic/how-to-drop-your-ego-with_b_9263250.

html

How to Drop Your Ego With 5 Techniques

By Fani Stipkovic

It’s difficult to find anyone that’s immune to the happiness of a child’s smile, the innocence of
child’s mind or the freedom of their honesty.

It’s liberating to see them get lost in something they’re passionate about. I’ve found that the
freedom of losing oneself is something a lot of people avoid once they reach adulthood, and I
think the main reason is to protect themselves from being vulnerable to avoid getting hurt. When
in retrospect this is more of a sign of weakness than strength.

This is why in times that we’re driven by the same innocence/naivety of a child we can clear our
minds and remove the fear and doubt that we have as a result of the limitations we set on
ourselves.

If we grow and expand our awareness every time we “fail,” then why are people so afraid to fail?

Surely this is the beauty of life. The endless journey of different experiences, feelings, mistakes
and lessons.

As we grow up and develop our emotional and social intelligence our character starts to form and
mould our personality from a very young age, however interestingly as a child we haven’t learnt
or become trapped by our ego. They aren’t frightened by the fear of failure that most of us learn
as we get older. I believe Jim Carrey said it best in his commencement address at the 2014
M.U.M. graduation, “If you listen to the ego, there will always be someone doing better than
you. No matter what you gain, the ego will not let you rest. It will tell you that you cannot stop
until you’ve left an indelible mark on the earth, until you’ve achieved immortality. How tricky
is this ego that it would tempt us with a promise of something we already possess?“

Children are not scared to express their emotions, they are not scared to say what they think, to
show what they feel or feel the beauty of the unknown. They live in the present moment, in the
now.

In the first part of our own personal inner growth, we try to adapt to different people and
situations to feel worthy and accepted. Our mind starts to work and our egos start to grow and
begin to take control of our life and our thoughts. We generally put on an act to be everything but
ourselves in order to feel “liked.” It takes a lot of personal work to discover who you are and not
to be driven by the temptations of the ego. It’s a constant journey, one that a lot of people avoid
yet ironically still want the benefit of the end result.

The truth is that in the process of our personal developmental journey and life challenges we are
bound to get hurt. Be it different experiences, bad relationships, betrayal or abandonment, a lot
of these experiences form in us like a leach of fear that drains and taints our perspective on future
experiences and relationships.

I often hear people say, “I have to be more careful, I was hurt last time.” And “How can I trust
anyone when so many people have betrayed me?” But is this the actual truth or only the
perspective/voice of your ego?

“When ego is lost, limit is lost. You become infinite, kind and beautiful.” — Yogi Bhajan

Shouldn’t we instead become better people from those experiences rather than close ourselves to
new ones?

Shouldn’t we instead be everything contrary to those experiences and people, and just use them
as lessons to tackle new challenges with a new awareness and knowledge?

By being more controlling of our lives we actually block ourselves from new experiences. I don’t
believe the aim should be to be more “careful” but rather to be “full of care.” We can’t control
our relationships to be certain we won’t get hurt, it’s a matter of learning from our past
experiences and learning to let go of our egos to live like a child does. To fall down and get back
up, but with every fall become a bit stronger, smarter and more aware.

We are here to experience, to develop nurturing relationships with our higher self and to find our
purpose.

Here are my 5 techniques to learn to let go of our egos and enjoy life.

1. Practice forgiveness & letting go.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” — Mahatma Gandhi

 The most powerful tool to learn to let go of our egos to make life easier is to practice
forgiveness. We have to learn to forgive the people who hurt us and most importantly we
have to learn to forgive ourselves.

 Accept, let go and keep moving forward. Forgiveness will open the windows to your
soul, and remove the negativity to allow room for new happiness.

2. Practice honesty and being open.

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress
people they don’t like.” — Will Smith

 The most important sentence I’ve ever heard, and I’m sure you’ve heard it too, “The truth
will set you free.” Suppressing our emotions can develop depression and anxiety. Always
seek the truth.
  Honesty provides us unconditional freedom to be connected with ourselves instead of
trying to be something that we’re not.

 Learn to say no to the things that don’t add value in you’re life, and open your arms and
run towards the things that do.

3. Surrender your need for control.

 We are not our egos, we are not our jobs, we are not our material possessions, and we are
not our achievements. Once you let your ego control your life, you will never be happy or
relaxed because as soon as you lose one of the things that you identify with, the rest will
fall like dominos and you will lose your happiness.

 Break the fears and trust life! Don’t be scare to love. Take risks. Be curious. Explore. Do
what makes you happy. Try to do every day something that scares you and you’ll start to
feel happiness in the small things.

4. Enjoy silent moments with yourself.

 Create an every day routine to remind yourself why it’s beautiful to be you. To know that
you are enough.

 Everyday perform a selfless act of love, and enjoy giving without the expectation to
receive.

 Take 5 minutes every day to be with yourself in silence, because sometimes in silence
you can find the answers that the voices never can.

5. Practice gratitude.

“It’s not happy people who are thankful; it’s thankful people who are happy.” — Unknown

 Take 5 minutes everyday to think about all the people, experiences, lessons and mistakes
you are thankful for.

 Grateful people feel more love and compassion and feel more alive than those who don’t.
 Appreciate everything and everyone and you’ll discover true beauty in your life.

Learning to let go of your ego is very easy in theory, however can be very difficult to execute in
the moment. When I think about times that I’ve been frustrated I always recognize a single
thought that resonates in my head, “Drop your ego! You have nothing to lose here, but a whole
life to win.”

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading and found my techniques helpful, if so please share it with your
friends, it may be exactly what they need to hear.
I’d love to hear what actions you take, and what makes your life worth living. Please share your
thoughts and experiences in the comment section below.

Never forget, we always have a chance to make our life beautiful.

Fani xx

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/eckhart-tolle-on-how-to-free-yourself-from-your-ego-
armor

Free Yourself from Your Ego Armor

Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, explains how to break through the shell that separates you from
your true self.

Vanity and pride are what most of us tend to think of when we think of ego, but ego is much more than
an overinflated sense of self. It can also turn up in feelings of inferiority or self-hatred because ego is any
image you have of yourself that gives you a sense of identity—and that identity derives from the things
you tell yourself and the things other people have been saying about you that you've decided to accept
as truth.

One way to think about ego is as a protective heavy shell, such as the kind some animals have, like a big
beetle. This protective shell works like armor to cut you off from other people and the outside world.
What I mean by shell is a sense of separation: Here's me and there's the rest of the universe and other
people. The ego likes to emphasize the "otherness" of others.

This sense of separation is an intrinsic part of the ego. The ego loves to strengthen itself by complaining
—either in thoughts or words—about other people, the situation you find yourself in, something that is
happening right now but "shouldn't be," and even about yourself. For example, when you're in a long
line at the supermarket, your mind might start complaining how slow the checkout person is, how he
should be doing this or doing that, or he failed to do anything at all—including packing the bag of the
person ahead of you correctly.

When this happens, the ego has you in its grip. You don't have thoughts; the thoughts have you—and if
you want to be free, you have to understand that the voice in your head has created them and irritation
and upset you feel is the emotional response to that voice Only in this way can you be present to the
truer world around you and see the golden shade in a pound of pears on the scanner, or the delight of a
child in line who begs to eat them.The trick, of course, is to work to free ourselves from this armor and
from this voice that is dictating reality.

Observe Your Mind

The first foundational step is to become aware of what kind of thoughts you habitually think, especially
negative thoughts: irritation, anger, impatience and perhaps even some kind of sadness. You might, for
example, complain about yourself, how useless you are. If you start to hear these repetitive thoughts,
then you will suddenly realize, "I've been thinking these same thoughts again and again almost every
day without really knowing it."

Distinguish Between the Voice of Ego and the Actual Situation

Awareness is the beginning of becoming free of the ego because then you realize that your thoughts—
and the negative emotions they produce—are dysfunctional and unnecessary. For example, let's go back
to the supermarket line. As you stand waiting, you aren't actually irritated because it's taking a long time
to get through to the checkout, which is the situation. You are irritated by what your mind is telling you
about the situation—which is that all this waiting is bad and a waste of your time. But you could actually
be enjoying that moment if you say, "This is simply what is. There's nothing I can do about it, so why not
breathe in deeply and look around and enjoy the world around me?"

Let Go of Limiting Stories

Sometimes the danger is not even pessimistic thought. If, for instance, you have been let go from your
job, you might so resist being negative that you say, "It's a great thing that I lost my job!" That kind of
willful optimism is not necessary. We hold on to the fairy tale of supposed happiness—that we should
be happy. But this keeps you stuck where you are. Instead, try to describe only what is happening,
without judgment: I do not have a job. I must look for one.

Bring In Your Awareness

When you see the difference between your voice and the reality of the situation, that's the beginning of
awakening. This is often a moment—a flash that sizzles and disappears. Initially you still lose yourself
again, and the old thoughts arise, but gradually, you gain awareness, and the dysfunctional thoughts
subside. It's a gradual transition, this bringing in of your awareness, because the ego doesn't want to
change. It doesn't want to disappear, so it will give you plenty of reasons why you cannot be present.

Lay Down Your Weapons

Your challenge will be to become more aligned internally with the present moment. Fighting with your
ego by will just makes it stronger. By declaring war on it, you make an enemy. A simple example: You
wake up in the morning, and it's raining and gray, and the mind says, "What a miserable day," and this is
not a pleasant thought. You likely feel some emotion: dread, disappointment, unhappiness. You
suddenly realize that your judgment of what kind of day it will be is based on a mental habit, an
unconscious default. That simple awareness creates space for a new thought to emerge. You can look
again out the window without that preconception and just see the sky. It's gray. There's some sunlight
filtering through the sky. There are, perhaps, raindrops falling. It's not actually miserable at all. It has a
certain beauty. Then suddenly, you're free. You're no longer imposing something on reality, and you're
free to enjoy what, previously, you had rejected.

To learn more about the ego, overcoming adversity and creating inner peace and meaning in your life
visit EckhartTolleTV.com.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4213/Free-Yourself-From-Your-Ego-in-3-Easy-Steps.html

Free Yourself From Your Ego in 3 Easy Steps

So if you practice yoga (or participate in any kind of self-reflective practice), then you're
probably familiar with the concept of the ego. Now, we're not talking the Freudian definition of
ego—a mediator of sorts between the id (base desires) and the superego (idealistic desires). What
we’re talking about here is that little voice inside you that is the source of so much worry,
anxiety and suffering. The ego is what keeps you locked away in your own little world, separated
from the present moment.

See, the ego used to have an important job—getting us all hyped up and aware of our
surroundings in case a saber-toothed tiger was lurking around the corner. These days we don’t
run into dangers like that all that often. But the ego (industrious little thing that it is) needs to feel
employed and important. It does this by inspiring fear, self-judgment and judgment of others.

Let’s think about this for a moment. Think about the source of any of your anxieties. I’m going
to bet a lot of them have to do with future projections (i.e. “if I don’t get this raise, then…” or
“what if I never meet someone…” or, even, “what will I wear to the…”). But here’s the secret,
and this blew me away when I realized it: the future does not exist anywhere but in your mind.

All these future events you’re worrying about? They don’t exist. I mean, maybe you won’t get
that promotion. What happens then? Well, you’ll deal with it in the moment just like you’ve
always dealt with any hardship. Projecting about it and worrying about it is a useless waste of
your energy. When you find yourself projecting ask yourself the following question: can I do
anything about this right now? If the answer is no, then stop worrying. Listen to your breath and
allow it to bring you into the moment. Do something that brings you joy. If the answer is yes,
then stop worrying (and get busy).

The same thing applies to the past. The ego loves to keep us trapped there—rehashing old hurts,
perceived mistakes, ancient regrets. What good do these obsessions do? Presumably, you’ve
learned the lesson and you have (or will) apply it to future decisions. Hey, you did the best you
could. Now move on.

So, how do we free ourselves? Man, it ain’t easy, that’s for sure. (Yeah…that bit about it being
easy in the title? Not really true. The concepts themselves are easy, sure. But enacting them?
That’s another story). The moment you think you have it figured out, you’re suddenly anxious
again, projecting forward or back, building fear upon fear until the present moment is so far gone
that you have no idea what you did that day, aside from getting worked up about your bank
balance or the state of your relationships (or lack thereof). The ego thrives on separating you
from the moment and from others who share in this moment with you.

In the end, all I can tell you is what has helped me. I’m definitely not free from worry or anxiety,
but at least now I have to tools to identify it and move on. Let me tell you, that in itself is the
greatest gift—the freedom that comes from realizing that we are not our thoughts. So here we go:
1. Choose Love

Yeah, I know how that sounds, but give it a chance. In the words of Gabrielle Bernstein, a
fabulous spiritual and motivational speaker, “Whenever you're afraid, it's proof that you've
turned your back on love and chosen to have faith in the ego.” See, in her philosophy, love is the
only emotion. Fear is an illusion. I know, it’s heady stuff, but what helped me most was this: as
soon as you have a fearful or anxious thought, tell yourself (again, from Gabrielle Berstein),
“love did not create this thought, and so it is not real.”

Even if you can’t quite get on board the love train, don’t worry about it. Just start telling yourself
“if love did not create it, it is not real.” Trust me on this. You’ll have a whole new perspective on
your situation. It’s amazing how solutions suddenly occur to you once you’re no longer trapped
in the fear/anxiety loop.

2. Never Complain

Complaining keeps us locked in negativity, right? I mean, think about it. Who wants to hang out
with someone who complains all the time? No one. So why complain even to yourself? This is
the source from which self-disgust, self-hatred, and self-sabotage springs—and the ego loves it,
this self-imposed separation.

Julie Hoyle, another wise woman and spiritual teacher, said the following:

Again, a little heady. But if you don’t get it, don’t worry. This is all you have to know: just stop
complaining. Try it for a week, see what happens. See how your life opens up for you. If you
need more motivation, start a complaining fund—every time you catch yourself complaining,
drop a quarter (or a dollar or a twenty, whatever keeps you in line) into a jar. The ego always
wants to improve on the current moment. Don’t let it draw you down that path. Breathe. Find
something beautiful. Focus.

3. If All Else Fails, Just Be Grateful

It’s hard to be down and out while also feeling grateful. You may try the above suggestions and
find that you begin to get angry. You start to feel like all this self work and self-reflection is
pointless and you should be able to feel and say and eat and think and watch what you like. This
is totally normal. This is the ego defending itself. It’s throwing up any obstacle it can into your
path. It’s main goal, remember, is to maintain the separation.

This whole practice of dissolving ego is like one big detox. You know how crappy you feel after
a night out spent wallowing in happy indulgence? The headaches, the cravings, the low mood?
Yeah, that’s your liver detoxing and ridding itself of the alcohol/sugar/bad fats/what-have-you.
The anger and self-righteousness you begin to feel after starting this process is the same thing.
And just like a hangover, all you can do is wait it out and make the best choices you can
stomach.
So when the anger strikes, just let go of all the self-improvement stuff for a while. Do this
instead: make a list. Just grab a piece of paper and begin writing down all the things for which
you are grateful. I don’t care if you can only think of one thing and that one thing is that you had
eggs for breakfast and they were pretty good. Fine, be grateful for those eggs, but be really
grateful. And then keep going. Keep writing. Is the sun coming through the window? Or maybe
it’s raining and you love the rain. Maybe your favorite show is on later. Maybe your socks match
and that makes you happy. Hey, I don’t care. Just be grateful. Write it down. This is your one
small step back toward your path.

***

Working on yourself in this way can be exhausting, I know. But don’t think you have to do it all
at once; don’t feel like you’ve failed if you have a fearful or anxious thought. That striving for
perfection? What do you think that is? Yep. Ego. The ego wants a destination and it wants to get
there. Right now. The work you’re doing here is a journey and it’s a journey taken in very small,
manageable steps. Let each step be a destination of its own, if that’s what drives you. Each
breath, each moment, each movement you make is your destination. Even as you begin, know
you have already arrived.

image via D Sharon Pruitt

https://addicted2success.com/spirituality/5-ways-to-override-your-ego-and-let-things-go/