THE GAY AND WONDEROUS LIFE OF CALEB GALLO [SIDE]

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CALEB:
I’m really good at guessing signs, you are such a capricorn aren't
you?
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
You’re a virgo?
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
Yeah, no you're definitely not a virgo. You're definitely a sign
though, you're definitely like one of the signs. Are you a scorpion?
KAREN:
Scorpio?
CALEB:
Scorpio!?
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
Pisces
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
Gemini?
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
Sagittarius?
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
Gregarious
KAREN:
Gregarious?
CALEB:
Aquarius?
KAREN:
No.
CALEB:
Precarious?
KAREN:
What?

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 CALEB:
Yeah. What’s your birthday?
KAREN:
You want me to tell you my birthday?
CALEB:
No, don't tell me your birthday. What’s your birthday?
KAREN:
July // 10th
CALEB:
// Don’t tell me your birthday. Oh! July! Oh I--I don't wanna hear
it. Oh ok, you're a leo.
KAREN:
No
CALEB:
What are you?
KAREN:
I’m a can--
CALEB:
--Don't tell me what you are. What are you?
KAREN:
I’m a cancer.
CALEB:
Oh. cancer. Right. Cure cancer. I knew you were a cancer when we
first started talking about this because cancers are always like,
“I’m not that” “No, I’m not that” “I’m not any other horoscope” “I’m
a cancer.” So, I’m really excited for you.
KAREN:
What’re you?
CALEB:
Um, I don’t--I’m a virgo. Sometimes a sagittarius. When Mercury’s in
retrograde though, what am I a Leo a Libra?
KAREN:
Mercury is like literally always in retrograde.
CALEB:
Well there’s a day where it’s not. But primarily, it just moves
backwards. Venus does it too.
KAREN:
Wait so what do you mean you're sometimes a sagittarius or--? What
does that mean sometimes? When’s your birthday?
CALEB:
September 27th.
KAREN:
So what sign does that make you?
CALEB:

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I don't know, I don't know when the cutoff dates are.
END