Professional Documents
Culture Documents
A simple view of negotiation presents a cold transaction between what one person
has and what the other person is willing to pay for it. If the price is right, the deal gets
done. As anyone who has recently bought a car or sold a house knows, however,
negotiations are rarely so dispassionate. As soon as the check book comes out a
flood of emotions comes out with it—fear, anxiety, competiveness, anger,
annoyance—all of which can influence what either side is willing to accept.
Bowling and Hoffmann define emotional intelligence (EI) as “the capacity for
recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for
managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships” (Bowling & Hoffman,
2000). The model introduced by Daniel Goleman, focuses on EI as a wide array of
competencies and skills that drive leadership performance. The model (Bradberry &
Greaves, 2009) outlines four main EI constructs:
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to read one's own emotions and recognize the role that
those feelings might play in decision-making. It is an essential first step in becoming
an integrated negotiator or mediator. Mastering this step is no small achievement, as
it is often easier to gain awareness of emotions in others than in ourselves. However
if we do not achieve self-awareness, we run the risk of projecting our own
unrecognized emotions onto others. The negotiator or mediator must objectively
assess his or her own personal emotional roadmap and develop a base of legitimate
self-confidence, allowing for self-management.
How do I feel about upcoming negotiation or mediation session? Worried and non-
confident, because it is my first serious case; disappointed, because parties are
stubborn and irreconcilable; irritated, because my car had flat tire; optimistic and
positive, because the day is warm and my neighbour smiled to me? Any of these
emotions effect the way we feel and behave. Being in good moods may make
miracle during mediation because you may infect parties with your believe in
possibility to settle any disagreement. Mediator's bad mood may ruin even the most
settlement-perspective dispute.
Self-management
Self-management is the ability to control one's emotions and impulses and to adapt
to changing circumstances. The self-aware person must be able to recognize their
own emotions and develop mechanisms to minimize the effect of negative emotions
while leveraging the impact of positive emotions. The emotions cannot be ignored.
Some people tend to hide their true emotions. However, suppressing emotions can
make things worse. Suppressing resentment, anger, or other strong emotions can
debilitate a negotiator's cognitive and behavioural functioning in several ways
(Gross, 2002): the negative emotional experience remains, leaving the negotiator in
an internal state of tension; the effort to suppress the display of emotions consumes
important cognitive energy; negotiator, who suppress emotions may be more likely to
stereotype the opponent as an “adversary”, leading to competitive behaviour. That is
why the emotionally competent mediator or negotiator is able to choose proper
responses instead of being led by emotion or suppressing it. With self-management,
one can choose the proper response to outbursts of emotion from other parties.
Social awareness
Social awareness is the ability to sense, understand, and react to other people’s
emotions while comprehending social networks. This quality focuses on the “other” in
the process and includes the development of empathy, organizational awareness
and a service mentality. “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not
fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every
victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor
yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” (Sun Tzu, 2005). Two of the most
important skills that negotiators require for effective social awareness are active
listening and reading nonverbal cues. These skills foster empathy.
Relationship management
Relationship management is the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others
while managing conflict. The emotionally intelligent negotiator or mediator must
develop four skills: the ability to identify one's own emotions and those of others; the
ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks such as thinking and problems
solving; the ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate the
negotiator's or mediator's own emotions, and the ability to effect the emotions of the
others in the negotiation. Goleman identifies the competencies associated with
relationship management as influence, inspirational leadership, and ability to be a
change-catalyst, ability to create and maintain networks, and where appropriate the
ability to build effective constituencies (Goleman, 2005).
Relationship management is even more challenging when we attempt to negotiate in
a multi-cultural or global context. Some cultures are more or less emotionally
expressive, or have different positions on confrontation or confrontation avoidance.
This dynamic may affect the way disagreement is expressed, the role and range of
acceptable emotional expression, the need for or extent of written contracts, or the
building of trust. In some cultures, cognitive trust – the trust established by
confidence in a party's accomplishments, skills and reliability – is secondary to what
is called affective trust – the trust arising from emotional closeness, empathy, or
friendship (Meyer, 2015).
Gender also plays a role in relationship management, and the effective negotiator
must be aware of communication styles and negotiating frames as they are impacted
by gender (Babcock & Laschever, 2007)
Do’s
• Prepare before beginning the negotiation. A lack of preparation can cost you
money and credibility.
• Determine your interests and those of the other party. Instead of thinking of
the person you will negotiate with as an adversary think of them as your
partner in this deal. Be sure to separate their positions or demands from their
interests.
• Analyse the options that each of you has available. These should be written
down along with their “pros and cons” and then reviewed carefully.
• Determine both parties walk away position and BATNA (Best Alternative to a
Negotiated Agreement).
• Think through what information the negotiator has about you and your
company. Example: length of time conducting business together, successes
and failures, prior negotiations etc.
• Define the trades or concessions you are willing to offer. List them in order of
preference.
• Remember to stay calm, cool and collected. Keep the emotional advantage.
Focus on interests and issues not personalities or words used.
• Document everything in writing immediately following the meeting and send it
to the other party. Don’t allow misperceptions or misinterpretations.
• Build rapport with the other party. It will help you uncover their needs, show
genuine interest in crafting a win-win strategy and lead both of you to being
more creative in developing options that will meet both your needs.
• Shut-up and listen. Then ask good, insightful questions. Good negotiators are
detectives. They ask good questions and then they listen.
• Do your homework. Gather as much information as you can prior to the
negotiation. How are they measured? What pressure are they under? Who do
they report to? What options do they have etc.? The more information you
have the stronger a negotiator you will become.
• Practice and then practice some more. If you are negotiating with a
Procurement or Purchasing officer, they negotiate several times per day.
Without practice, training and preparation you are at a distinct disadvantage.
• Be prepared to walk-away. Not all deals are win-win or good deals for you and
your company. Be prepared to walk-away from bad business.
• Think creatively. Look for ways to expand the deal not to divide it up equally.
We call this “expanding the pie” rather than “dividing the pie.”
Don’ts
1. Don’t take anything said personally. No matter what the other party says or how
they act, stay calm. Be professional and don’t let your emotions cloud your
judgment.
2. Don’t give something away without getting something in return. Concessions
have to be bi-lateral. It’s easy to get reciprocation if you simply say “I will do this
if you will do that”!
3. Don’t make unreasonable demands; you will lose credibility.
4. Don’t rush the negotiation. Oftentimes complex deals take time to negotiate.
5. Don’t interrupt the other party. Be a good listener. Listen to understand and
gather information. Don’t miss anything because you are preparing to respond.
You will have time to respond when they are finished talking.
6. Don’t use the word “between or range’. If you say our price will be between X
and Y buyers will only hear the lowest number and they will become fixated on
it. Don’t put yourself in an untenable position.
7. Don’t negotiate with someone that cannot sign off on the deal.
8. Don’t ignore the buyer’s body language. Think like a stop light: green, yellow or
red.
9. Don’t focus on positions or demands. Instead focus on interests.
Most of us negotiate something every day. Whether it's getting our kids to willingly
clean their rooms, or hammering out an elephant-sized contract with more details
than a politician has "special-interest" donors, our ability to haggle affects our results.
Here are some useful negotiating tips.
1. Define Your Negotiables Other than Price. Inexperienced, unconfident, or plain
old lazy reps take the easy route and drop price at the first sign of the other person
seeking to get a better deal. Instead, first determine what you could offer, if needed,
that has high perceived value to them, but little cost to you. For example, moving up
the delivery date if they need it quickly, extending the warranty period . . . some
distributors and suppliers like to throw in some products the customer isn't buying.
This has high perceived value, and gets the customer to test the new product, which
might pay off with future purchases.
2. Analyze Your Strengths, Their Needs. Before calling, list what you know they
require and emotionally want, what you have, and what you want. You might know
that this buyer always tries to pound you on price, but you also know you're working
from a position of strength because you're the only one who has the quality of
product he needs.
3. Set Your Objectives. Just like every call, define, "What do I want them to do as a
result of this call, and what do I want to do?"
4. Aim High, Set Minimums. As part of your objectives, swing for the fence! Think
big. Set the most favourable objective possible (one that is within reason). The
richest sales reps I know can't believe anyone would think otherwise. Likewise, set
minimums that you're willing to accept. You'll know how much you have to play with.
5. Prepare for Their Possible Tactics. It's easier if you know the person. For
example, knowing that Joe always starts with an outrageous request helps you
prepare your counter-tactic. Otherwise, you need to dry-run through possible
demands and tactics along with your responses so you're not blindsided into giving
away something you didn't intend to.
6. Gather Information. As with all sales calls, the more you know the better.
7. Don't Give More Information (or Anything Else) than Necessary. I've seen
sales reps offer price concessions that weren't asked for ("The price starts here, but I
might be able to do a little better."), and give up information that the customer used
to ask for more concessions ("You mentioned another customer had additional
training manuals thrown in free. I want those too.")
8. Don't Split the Difference. It's human nature, but it costs you money. Let's look
at the math. Your asking price is $50. They offer you $30. You counter with $40 and
they figure splitting the difference is fair. Your tactic: come back with a pained tone of
voice, "I might be able to do $46 or $47." It's more likely you'll end up better than
$40.
9. Trade Your Concessions. Get something in return. If you get them the better
volume price, ask for a commitment for a blanket purchase order. One-sided giving
rarely makes for a healthy relationship.
10. "If I, Will You?" A tactic to accomplish the previous point. Before agreeing to
what they want, get commitment on what they'll give in return. "If I'm able to move
your request to the front of the line, will you increase the order by 500?"