THEORIES DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY

Permissive Parenting Characteristics and

Effects
By Kendra Cherry Reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW Updated on April 29, 2021

Illustration by Hugo Lin, Verywell

Table of Contents

Research

Characteristics

E ects

Strategies
Permissive parenting is a type of parenting style characterized by low
demands with high responsiveness. Permissive parents tend to be very
loving, yet provide few guidelines and rules. These parents do not expect
mature behavior from their children and often seem more like a friend than
a parental gure.

These parents tend to be the polar opposite of the so-called "helicopter

parents." Instead of hovering over their children's every move, permissive
parents are incredibly lax and rarely make or enforce any type of rules or
structure. Their motto is often simply that "kids will be kids." While they
are usually warm and loving, they make little or no attempt to control or
discipline their kids.

Because there are few rules, expectations, and demands, children raised
by permissive parents tend to struggle with self-regulation and self-
control.

Early Research on Permissive Parenting

Based on her research with preschool-age children, developmental
psychologist Diana Baumrind described three major parenting styles. In
later years, researchers would continue to investigate the di erent styles of
parenting and even added a fourth style. Permissive parenting is one of the
original parenting styles described by Baumrind. [1]

Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting. Parents

who exhibit this style make relatively few demands on their children.
Because these parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity,
discipline is a rarity.

According to Baumrind, permissive parents "are more responsive than they

are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature
behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation." [2]

Characteristics of Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents: [3]
Permissive parents:

Are usually very nurturing and loving towards their kids

Ask their children's opinions on major decisions
Emphasize their children's freedom rather than responsibility
Have few rules or standards of behavior, any rules they do have are
inconsistent
May use bribery such as toys, gifts, and food as a means to get a child to
behave
Often seem more like a friend, rather than a parent
Provide little in the way of a schedule or structure
Rarely enforce any type of consequences

The Effects of Permissive Parenting

Researchers have found that the overly relaxed approach to parenting
exhibited by permissive parents can lead to a number of negative outcomes.
Children raised by permissive parents tend to lack self-discipline, possess
poor social skills, may be self-involved and demanding, and may feel
insecure due to the lack of boundaries and guidance. [3]

Research has also suggested that kids raised by permissive parents:

Display low achievement in many areas: Because their parents have little to
no expectations of them, these kids have nothing to strive toward. Studies
have linked permissive parenting to lower academic achievement. [4]
Make poor decisions: Since their parents to not set or enforce any type of
rules or guidelines, these kids struggle to learn good problem-solving and
decision-making skills.
May be more prone to delinquency and substance use: Some studies suggest
that children raised by permissive parents are more likely to engage in
misconduct and alcohol or substance use. [5]
Show more aggression and less emotional understanding: Because they do
not learn to deal with their emotions e ectively, particularly in situations
where they do not get what they want, children with permissive parents
may struggle when faced with stressful or emotionally di cult
situations. [6]
Unable to manage their time or habits: Because of the lack of structure and
rules in the home, these kids never learn limits. This might lead to watching
[7]
too much television playing too many computer games and eating too
 7
too much television, playing too many computer games, and eating too

much. These children never learn to limit their screen time or eating habits,
which can lead to unhealthy habits and obesity.

In one study, permissive parenting was linked to underage alcohol use;

teens with permissive parents were three times more likely to engage in
heavy drinking. [8] Researchers also suggest that permissive parenting is
linked to other risky behaviors such as drug use and other forms of
misconduct.

Because permissive parenting involves a lack of demands and expectations,

children raised by parents with this style tend to grow up without a strong
sense of self-discipline. They may be more unruly in school due to the lack
of boundaries in the home and may be less academically motivated than
many of their peers.

Since these parents have few requirements for mature behavior, children
may lack skills in social settings. While they may be good at interpersonal
communication, they lack other important skills such as sharing.

How to Change Permissive Parenting

If you tend to be a pushover or struggle to enforce rules, consider looking
for ways that you can develop some more authoritative parenting habits.
This can be di cult at times, because it often means becoming stricter,
enforcing rules, and being able to cope with your child being upset.

Some strategies you might consider:

Develop a list of basic household rules. In order for your kids to know how
they are supposed to behave, they need to clearly understand what your
expectations are.
Follow through. This can be the greatest struggle for parents who tend to be
permissive, but it is important. Try to be rm and consistent, but still
loving. Help your kids understand why such rules are important by
providing adequate feedback and explanations, but still make sure that
consequences are in place.
 consequences are in place.

Make sure your kids understand the penalty of breaking the rules.
Guidelines are useless unless there is some sort of consequence for failing
to follow them. Time-outs and losing privileges are logical consequences for
breaking the household rules.
Reward good behavior. Try to catch your children being good and allow
special privileges when they display these actions.

Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode
of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares what mentally strong parents do.

The Verywell Mind Podcast with Amy Morin

41 Friday Fix: 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do

A Word From Verywell

Permissive parenting can lead to a number of problems, so it pays to
consciously try to utilize a more authoritative approach if you recognize
these signs of permissiveness in your own parenting. 

If you tend to be more of a permissive parent, think of ways that you can
help your children understand your expectations and guidelines and be
consistent about your enforcement of these rules. By providing your kids
with the right balance of structure and support, you can ensure that they
grow up with the skills they need to succeed in life.

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