Clay

Beep beep.. beep beep.. beep beep..

Huft.. he’s always like this. Why he set alarm every night if he never wake up. It’s only bother
my sleep. Come on..
Guk guk guk. “Hmm Clay, stop it. Don’t licking my nose like that”. No, I won’t stop until you
wake up. “Okay okay, I woke up puppy..” I know, he has not really wake up. He just sit holding
me with eyes still closed. Maybe he needs five minutes to fill his energy.
I see Dave prepare to go to school every morning, he looks busy but never finishes everything
well. A messy bed, dirty dishes, unfinished school work, he just left all of that when he went to
school. If I were a human, I would clean all of the things in this house.
Dave doesn’t have parents, he only lives with me. As his dog, of course I try to always be there. I
want to be a best pet for him, but why he often make me… never mind.

“Psstt.. psstt..”
Who is there? hmm maybe a snake’s walking around here. The weather is rather cloudy today, I
think the sun is too lazy to come out. The wind is blowing cold, it’s the right day to sleep.
“Hey hey”
Are you serious, my ears are very sensitive even when I sleep. I look around and see who's the
person disturb my sleep. Well, I found him. A cat on top of a tree, he waves his hand and calls
out my name.
“Hey Cloe.., hey Cloe..” with a nice smile, how glad are you to call me. “Clay, not Cloe.” I don’t
like him changing my name. Now he goes down and sits in front of me, “Cloe is better for you,
trust me.”
Whatever. “Hey Jim, what are you doing here? I think you're happy living in the city, being a cat
house.” Jim is my old friend, the street cat who has soft fur. Six months ago someone took him, I
heard he lives in a good house and comfortable. “The girl is very nice to me, she is loveable. But,
I love this place more than her house. So I come back here, and I miss you..” he said that like he
seduces me, why you’re not seducing a cat over there.
“And I don’t miss you.” I say it as natural as possible. I never miss Jim, I just.. nice to see you
again friend. “Pftt, you never change. I see how you miss me.” He laughs and his success makes
me blush.
“Why are you sleeping here? The wind was cold.”
“Dave hasn’t come home yet, so I have to wait outside.”
“You know, you can find a better employer than him. Why are you still loyal to accompany
him?” Since long ago, Jim has never liked Dave. According to him, Dave is a bad employer.
“I can’t leave him. He will be lonely. Even if I have a chance I want to be..”
“A human? Maybe a fairy will grant it if you keep saying that. So please stop thinking about it!”
he is really angry now. I’m sorry Jim, but you don’t understand.
It’s dusk, Dave hasn’t arrived yet. I am worried, where are you Dave? I still wait for him
anxiously, then I see he comes. Does he look okay?
Guk guk guk guk
I ran to him. “Wow wow, do you miss me?” He hugged me and stroked my head. Where have
you been all day long? “Look, I brought something. Do you want me to play this? Okay puppy!”
I don’t know what kind it is, maybe I’ve looked once. “People say, playing guitar in the park is
fun. Then let’s go!”
We are in the park. He sits on the bridge fence and I’m on the floor. He started playing the
guitar, I’m not sure he can play that, but he still tries.
“ehm ehm, test test..”

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are

God, please.. How could this song be called a song, his voice so bad. It’s better to close my ears.
If I were a human, I would sing better than him. Finally he stopped singing, “Clay, come on.. one
day my voice will definitely be good. But before that, you must be my audience okay.” Hmm ya,
one day in another day. I wonder what makes him learn music.
“Next month is my birthday. I want to sing at my mother's grave, to show that her son is happy
now. If I am not wrong it’s the day I found you last year. How old are you now, one year old?
The first year of a dog is the same as fifteen years of a human. It means we are the same age!
Waw..”
Really? We should be real friends. Like humans with humans or dogs with dogs. We have a fun
fact, even though Dave and I are different but we like having an inner bond. He always
understands what I think, we are like chatting whereas he is just talking alone.
“I will tell you how I found you, curious right?” He looks ready to tell the story.
I know this will be a very long story, so I change my sitting to a more comfortable position.
He said, “When I was walking, I saw a cardboard box in a ditch full of mud. Then I heard a very
small moan, I looked for where it came from. It turned out that in the box, when I opened it there
was a small dog that was scared. I immediately took you out of there and took you home.”

“You used to be very shy and adorable, not as fierce as you are now.” He added. Maybe he
didn’t realize that he was more annoying than me. And then he continued the story.

“Where do I want to go? Why did I cross that street..” Dave suddenly daydreams, he was silent
for a long time. I touch his arm, “Huh? Clay..” now he’s staring blankly.

“The first year my mom passed away, I visited her grave almost everyday. On that day, maybe I
will visit my mom. Do you know, Clay..” He sighed.
“I never thought I’d lose my mom.. We are always together, Clay. She’s the one who always
supports me, even if I don’t need a friend or someone else. She promised to give a prize if my
graduation results were the best. Then I studied hard, I did. When I go home to tell mom about
my exam, she is gone.. I don’t know how, I refuse to listen to what people say. As I know, she
left forever.”

I see Dave trying to hold back tears, but he looks so sad. He must really miss his mother. It’s
getting darker but I can’t bear to bother him, I can’t entertain or give some advice, so the thing
that I can do is just stay beside him.
He sighed over and over and then stood up. “Come on..” he asked. We walked so slowly. When
we arrived at home, he went to the bed and hid his face on the pillow. Oh Dave.. I'm sad to see
you like this. What should I do to make you smile?

***

A quiet night was gone. The chirping of birds that I heard from outside, the sunlight entering
between the windows, this must be afternoon. But I think there is no alarm today. I go to his bed,
he is still asleep. Is he sick?
I pulled the blanket over his face, but he turned around instead. Then I rocked his back, “Can you
stop it. Go away, don’t bother me.”
Why he said that, is my way wrong. Maybe it should be softer, this time I just rubbed his head,
but suddenly he snapped at me. "Leave, I say, go away !!"
I want to cry, this is the first time Dave snapped at me. Never mind, maybe the mood is still not
good.
I think Dave will be happy soon, it turns out took a long time. He doesn't have the spirit to do
activities. Instead of giving me food, he sometimes forgets to eat. All he did was daydream at the
back door of the house until late at night and sleep.
I kept trying to cheer him up, even this time I brought him a guitar, who knows singing will
make his mood more happy. I already gave the code so he wanted to play it, but it seemed like he
wasn't interested.
“What are you doing? It doesn’t help me. A dog like you will not understand my feelings. Please
stop doing stupid things. Go, go away and don’t come back again.”
What does it mean, why do you say that..
“Why are you still here! damn, it just wastes my time.”
He left me. He’s not care about me anymore.

***

This morning I want to take a walk to the small forest behind the house, there is a small pond,
maybe the scenery there is much better than in this house.
I only think of Dave, I'm really sad to get such treatment. I know, I'm just a dog. I only trouble
him, I do not help anything, even invited to confide. But..
Calm down Clay, don’t cry. Dave will definitely regret looking for you. It’s only.. if I’m a
human, maybe as his friend I will be more helpful.
“hmm okay.. so that's what you want.”
I heard a voice saying to me. I looked to see where the voice came from. It looked like a fairy, a
little fairy. “Are you a fairy?” I’m scared.
“Hello dear, I’m a garden fairy and I live here. I know a lot of things about you, including the
desire to be human."
"That's ... just meaningless hope. How can I, as a dog, turn into a human." My wish must have
sounded stupid by him.
“Well, I can make it come true if you still want to be a human.”
“Really?! But, how could? And.. What are the rules?”
“No rules. I just need to do this.”
“Wait, what?” he sprinkled sparkling powder on me, I don't know what powder this is but I feel
sleepy, so sleepy that it feels like I want to sleep ...

***

Have you ever felt your heart empty? No, not only your heart, even your life too. It’s not about
money, not because life is not what you want, or because of other things that usually stress
people. I just feel, there is no one else I can care about. I want to give attention and affection but
I don’t have anyone. For me it's not a big problem if no one loves me as much as I love her,
because giving love to someone really makes me happy. I love my mother very much, I'm sure
my mother loves me too. I think true love is not only for a pair of men and women, but our love
is also true love.
Now mom is gone. My life feels very boring, I rarely talk even though there is always something
I shared with my mother. Every time I go home from school, I tell her what happened that day.
Yes, I know, boys shouldn't talk much but I'm very happy to chat with my mother. Even though
with other people I rarely talk but mom is special to me, how can I ignore my true love.
Mom, I miss you so bad. I know you don't want to see me lonely, everyone is nice to me here.
They always invite me to talk, joke, and eat together. I know everyone is trying to cheer me up,
but.. I really only need you. I don't know who's people that I should look for after you aren't
there. I really don't know mom.

***

I’m not going to school today, the exam will be held soon but I don’t care, my future is nothing.
I’d better walk to the forest.
See the pond's calm water, enjoying the silence of the forest, which only sounds like a small
animal. I miss my mother.
"Oh I see.. behavior of third graders, instead skipped school. Ckckck ... "
suddenly someone appears from behind the bush, I haven’t seen her before.
“Who are you? What's your problem if I’m not going to school.”
She’s not answer, instead she sits beside me.
“Well, that’s not my business. Do you need a friend to skip your day?”
“No.” even though I don’t know this girl.
“Ahh.. you’re so cold.”
“Whatever.” I need a quiet place but a strange girl bothers me. Should I leave from here?
“Hey, where will you go? Heyy!”
Why does this girl follow me, keep walking and ignore her? I think she'll stop following me,
lucky I can walk fast. Finally I arrived at my house.
“Hello, I am faster than you boy.” She is again. How could she find my house?
“Tell me. What do you want?”
“Be your friend maybe.” she says. Actually I’m not interested in having a new friend, but she
said with a pleading look. No no, I can’t trust a stranger. Who knows she is a bad guy.
“I’m not interested. So you can go home now.” I leave her and get into my house. She only asked
why and why, but I’m sure she will go soon.

***

I must clean my shoes today, when I play in the forest my shoes are very dirty so I put them on
the terrace. I will take my shoes and.. what the hell. Why did this girl lie in my chair? I think she
has gone home.
“What are you doing here?” I try to wake her up.
“Oh, good morning..” She wakes up and tidies herself. I can’t believe I met people like her.
“Wait wait, I can explain. I don’t remember who I am. I don’t know where my house is so I can’t
leave. Please, let me stay in your house, at least until I remember.”
“You think I will believe your story? No way. Up to you and leave my house.”
“I’m not lying. I really don’t remember. Please let me sleep here for two weeks. Only two weeks.
I will clean your house.” she begged. This is crazy, but she keeps begging and then enters my
house. She shows that she can do anything. I am confused.
“Listen. I’m a student, I’m not making money. So you will not get money from me. Please, leave
my house now.”
“I don’t need your money, I just need a friend. I don’t want to be alone. Please, help me..”
like hypnosis, I can't say anything more. I don't know if I should allow her to stay here.

It’s been three days since she left my house. She helps me a lot and sometimes she makes me
laugh. Maybe I'm just happy because there is someone in this house. She can’t remember her
name yet, so I call her..
“Clara? Umm..” she nodded doubtfully like she didn't like her name.
“If you don’t like the name, you can’t change it.”
“I love the name. It’s beautiful.”

I give her name Clara because I miss my dog, Clay. I’m very bad to my dog, but Clay never
comes back home. Maybe Clay hates me.

I was relaxing in a chair, then Clara came carrying something. “Dave, are youa gitaris? I found
this guitar.” she asked.
“No, I just play once. I can’t sing so I stopped playing guitar.”
“Why? Let’s we sing together. You play the guitar and I sing a song, okay”, I’m not good
playing guitar, but let’s try. We pick the song first then she start to sing.
“Not bad, your voice is good.” and then we play, sing, more and more.

“Dave, may I ask you something?”

“Sure..”
“Do you feel lonely? Are you having difficulty socializing with people?”
“I never feel lonely, I can do everything by myself. So I don’t need anyone.”
“Okay.. maybe I don’t know many things about you. But I care about you, Dave. Don’t hide your
feelings. Everytime you are sad, happy, you will need a friend to share your feelings.”
“I just.. I'm just afraid. I’m afraid if I love someone then I will lose again.”
“That’s mean you stop loving your mother?”
“Who says, I will never stop loving my mother.” She makes me angry.
“That’s why you need other people in your life. If you really love her, your life must go on Dave.
You are a good person. You must get a good best friend.”
She is right. Maybe this is the time to appear again in the world. I have to be a successful person
and make my mother proud.

***

I want to invite Clara to have breakfast together, but where is she? Did he go to the forest this
morning?
“Claraa. Let’s eat together. Where are you Clay..” why I called Clay. It's been a long time Clay, I
miss you.
Guk guk guk
Did I mishear? It sounded like Clay.
Guk guk guk guk
Clay, is that you? She ran to me and I hugged her . “Claayyyy. Where have you been, I really
miss you. I’m sorry, please forgive me. Don’t leave me again.”
We’re going home. I promise I will turn out to be a better person.