THE ABOLITION OF WORK

and other essays

BY BOB BLACK
THE ABOLITION OF WORK
AND
OTHER ESSAYS

by Bob Black
THE ABOLITION OF WORK
AND OTHER ESSAYS

Not copyrighted. Any of the material in this book

may be freely reproduced, translated or adapted, even
without mentioning the source.

Published by:
Loompanics Unlimited
PO Box 1197
Port Townsend, WA 98368

C ove r by D onna Kossy

ISBN 0-915179-41-5
 TABLE O F CONTENTS

Fo rewa rd by E d Lawre nce. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . • . ... 1

Introduction by Ivan Stang . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

I 've G ot a Nietzsc h e T rig g e r Fin g e r...................... 1 3

PART 1: T H E A B O LITI O N O F WO RK

I nt roduction ............................................. 1 5
The Abo lition of Work................................... 1 7

PART I I : T H E LAST I NT E R N AT I O NA L ( 1 977- 1 983}

I nt roduction ............................................. 35
Religion as B a n ality ................................ : .... 3 7
The Ba l l ad of B re n d a Spencer........................... 3 9
T heses o n G rouch o M a rxism ............................ 4 1
(Ass } H o lis m ............................................. 45
Because of Laws ........................................ 47
T h e Correct Line ........................................ 49
Dec l asse (fieds} .......................................... 53
I ns & Outs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . • . . . 55
20 Questio ns ............................................ 57
Sur realist Destinies: Mix a n d M atch ...................... 59
Fig hti n g Wo rds.......................................... 6 1
PART I l l : A P P E A L T O R EAS O N ( 1 982-1 984 )

I nt roducti o n............................................. 65
A n t i -Nuc lear Terro r ..................................... 67
Let Us P rey! ............................................ 71
A Bun c h A ba l o n e ....................................... 77
Left R i tes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
E l ect i n g N ot to Vote .................................... 83
Lyi n g i n State........................................... 87
C i rc l e-A Deceit: A Review of
Processed World ...................................... 91
N otes o n " C i rcle-A Deceit" .............................. 97
Review of " C o n a n " ..................................... 1 0 1
G rown-u ps Say the Darndest T h i n gs ................... 1 05
T h e Cult to E n d Al l Cul ts .............................. 1 09
T h e Pol i t i c a l Theol ogy of Ferl i n g hetti ................... 1 1 5

PART I V : OT H ER V I C ES

I nt roducti o n ............................................ 1 2 1
A Lunatic F r i n g e C redo ................................ 1 23
Wo rds of Powe r........................................ 1 25
P reface to The Right To Be G re edy .................... 1 29
Fem i n ism as Fasc ism................................... 1 33
T h e Exquisite Corpse .................................. 1 39
T h e L i be rta r i a n As Co nse rvative ........................ 1 4 1
A n a rc h ism a n d O t h e r I m ped i m ents to A n a rc h y.......... 1 49
T h e Best Book Cata l o g i n The Wo rld ................... 1 53
Dedication: To Donna Kossy
 FOREW ARD

BOB BLACK
TEXT AND C ONTEXT
by Ed Lawrence

"The errors of a wise man make your rule,

Rather than the perfections of a fool"
- William Blake

T h e re are words t h at f i t in t h e m o u t h onl y after a l l t h e teeth

h ave been b ro k en out. Wo rds t h at swing d o wn l i ke w re c k ing
bal l s from out of the d a r kness of the c ran i u m . Indent u red words
coined by i m pove r i s h ed m inds. Wo rd s t h at c o l l ectively
const itute t h e l ang u a g e of our t i m e .
Lang u a g e t h at i s conce ived i n t h e h e a d can n o t h e l p b u t b e
born b ra in dead . I ts l ette rs h e l d toget h e r l i ke t h e sti ffened
fingers of a h and und e r t h e s pe l l of r i g o r m o rt i s . I ts every
sentence a f uneral p rocess i on.
The s h a d ow of d a r kness swa l l ows t h i s u p s i d e d o wn wo rl d .
T h e s h adow i s stand a r d i z at i on. Stand a rd iza t i on i s t h e d eath of
inan i m ate o bj e cts, w h i c h i s onl y to say i t i s the d eath of s p i r i t .
B u t t h e d eath of s p i rit g oes by anoth e r name. I t i s u s u a l l y cal l e d
t h e b i rt h of reason.
T h e d rea m s of reas on are, at th i s l ate date, everywh e re to be
seen, m uc h l i ke h eadstones in a c e m etery. T h e ine rt i a of a
stand ard w h i c h p runes every t ree to the dim ens i ons of a u ti l ity
pole wi l l , w i t h the same d ete rm inati on, core the h e a rt out of t h e
h u m an pe rsonal ity. T h is fe r m enting m ind , intoxi cated b y its
h eady s o b r i ety, m et h o d i c a l l y s l its its own t h roat, all the w h i l e
m i stak ing t h e e l ongat ing wo und fo r a s m i l e .
W h en t h e s p i ri t i s f ree, accord ing to N i etzsc h e , t h e h e a d w i l l
b e t h e b owe l s o f t h e h e a rt . I n t h ese top heavy days t h at have
t u rned l ife to psy-tu rvy the head has l ittl e a p pet i te for f reed o m .
Instead i t h as d eveloped a taste fo r co p ro p h ag y .

1
 II

I f m out h s a re to be m o re t h a n c rematoriums they must not

sto p at n oth i n g . N ot because n i h i l i s m g oes too far, but rat h e r
because i t fai l s to g o fa r e n oug h . N i h i l i s m i s l i ke a st reet l i g ht .
T h e o n l y c r i m e it n ever p revents i s t h e o n l y o n e t h at rea l l y
m atters, the c r i m e o f i t s o w n ex i ste nce. A l l i t s desperate l i g h t
eve r rea l ly s u cceeds i n d o i n g i s to obsc u re t h e view of t h e
effe rvescent stars a n d t h e i r exa l ted d a n ce ac ross t h e d a r k n ess
of the s ky .
W h e n t h e s p i rit i s f ree i t w i l l s o a r . I ts refl ect i o n i m p ri s o n ed i n
t h e m i rror o f n i h i l i s m i s t h e s p i rit o f g ravity. " N ot by w rat h , b u t
by l aug hter d o w e s l ay. C o m e , l et u s s l ay t h e s p i rit of g rav i ty . "
( N i etzsc he)

Ill

B o b B l ack h as bee n s l ay i n g t h e s p i rit of g rav i ty for s o m e

years . H i s favo rite wea pon i s t h e pen k n i fe, a n d w h e n h e g oes fo r
t h e t h roat, b reat h e easy , t h e us u a l res u l t i s a trach eoto m y of
i n s p i rat i o n .
H i s wri t i n g s a re a n exh i l a rati n g torrent t h at f lus hes o u t t h e ash
of a l a n guage w h i c h clogs t h e t h roat . H i s work i s akin to the
g reat l a b o r of H ercu l es , w h o d i ve rted two rivers to run t h roug h
a n d c l eanse t h e Aug ean sta b l es . A k i n to, but even m o re d i ff i cu l t .
T h e r i ve rs of H e rc u l es' tas k we re a t l east fres h a n d f l ow i n g ,
w h i l e t h e stream o f c o n sc i o u s n ess t h at n o w m u st b e detou red
h as been c u t off from i ts source a n d beco m e a stag n a n t m a l a r i a l
s u ccess poo l .
B o b B l ack i s t h e h i g h p r i est o f n i h i l a r i ty . H i s c o n fess i o n a l h as
D u c h a m p's u r i n a l b o l ted to its d oo r. H i s ten com m a n d m ents are
a stri n g of,on e l i ne rs . H i s faith i s bal d l y h e ret i ca l . It beg i n s w h ere
the d i ct i o n a ry e n d s , n ot with the ZZZ of a s n o re but with t h e
c h aotic r r u m ' b l img o t a c h o rt l e that q u i c k e n s t h e sen ses l i ke a n
earth q u ake t h at sways a pet ri f i e d forest. B y vi rtue of h i s faults,
B l ack deri des t h e wheel w i t h out spo kes, t h e m a n d a l a of zero ,
a n d d e m o ra l izes t h e m i n d fo rged h i-tecto n i cs wh ose p o i s o n
p resc ri bes t h at o n e s e i s m o g ra p h counte rfeits a l l .
 By v i rt u e of g e n u i n e d e l i g ht h i s texts a re both a l ive a n d
e n l iven i n g . H e i s t h e extraord i n a ry m ag i c i a n w h o p u l l s t h e
perpet u a l l y u nexpected , t h e s i l k p u rse, f r o m o u t of t h e
sq ueal i n g sow's e a r . W i t h i n t h ese pages n ot h i ng i s n ot a s i t
see ms, a n d t h e wi n ged h o rse Pegasus fl ies f o r t h f ro m t h e n eck
of t h e beh eaded Medusa.

3
 INTR O DUCTION

REPENT!! QUIT YOUR JOB!!!

BLACK OUT!
by Rev. Ivan Stang

It j u st occu r red to m e , for the f i rst t i me: B o b B l a c k i s aptly

n a m ed .
I d o n 't k n o w exactly h o w it sta rted, but s o m etime in 1980 I
began rece i v i n g t h ese i ntense o n e-sh eet f l y e rs from w h at
l ooked to be a fa n at i c a l a n t i -esta b l i s h m e n t g ro u p ca l l ed " T h e
L ast I nternati o n a l . " I l oved t h e i r n a m e. I t t o o k m e a few m a i l i n g s
t o rea l ize it was a l l com i n g from o n e m i sfit w h ose n a m e was
B l ack but w h ose s i g n at u re was a ' n eg ate' m a r k .
Ta l k a b o u t p ro p h ets h ow l i n g i n t h e w i l d n ess . . . t h i s g uy was
spew i n g out so m e of t h e , u h , w i tti est h ate h u m o r I 'd ever see n .
N ot o n l y was i t co m i n g hot a n d h eavy t h ro u g h t h e m ai l , b u t i t
was a l s o g ett i n g posted al l ove r wh atever sq u a l i d
n e i g h b o r h oods B o b l i ved i n .
I t was rants, d i atri bes, j e re m i ad s , a n d h a ra n g u es, constru cted
e n t i re l y of o n e- l i n e rs t h at were each wort h y of a b u m pe r st i cker
u nto t h e mselves, a n d i l l u st rated w i t h s i m p l e b u t archetypal c l i p­
a rt j u xtapos i t i o n s that reached o u t a n d g ra b bed you . I , l i ke
m a n y others at t h e s a m e ti m e , fe l t c o m pe l l ed to xe rox the st u ff
a n d s p read i t f u rt h e r a ro u n d . Because i t cou l d o n ly h i t peo p l e
o n e of t h ree ways , a n d a l l of t h e ways were g o o d ways to h i t t h e
t h ree types of pote n t i a l v i ct i m s o r c o h o rts. T h ey wou l d a) l a u g h ,
b ) get p i ssed off, o r c ) mere l y b e c o n f u sed , a n d i g n o re i t .
Because y o u couldn 't tell when " Th e L a s t In terna tion al" was
kidding and when it was serious. T h i s q u a l i ty h as m a rked a l ot of
the best sat i re of the 1 980's . . . you aren't e n t i re l y s u re t h at i t is
sat i re . A n d i t i s n 't. T h e react i o n s i t p rovo kes a re too rea l . I ' m n ot
s u re h ow m a n y peo p l e h ave been arrested for post i n g L ast
I n ternat i o n a l f l yers, b u t if the cops had been d o i n g t h e i r j o b s , a
l ot m o re wo u l d 've bee n .
S o m et i m es the f lyers j u st l eft yo u as k i n g q u est i o n s . O t h e r
ti mes t h ey m ad e a fo rcefu l a n d spec i f i c p o i n t . B u t t h ey a l ways

5
h ad sty l e , a n d u n m i sta k a b l e " pe rfect s n i d e ness . " A n d t h ey
a l w ays had H A T E . H ate for t h e E m p i re , t h e C o n s p i racy, t h e
Wad , t h e C o m b i n e , t h e M a n . T h ey wo u l d've b e e n h o rrify i n g if
t h ey were n't so fu n ny . To peo p l e w i t h bad sen ses of h u m o r, t h ey
were i n d eed h o rrify i n g .
T h ey we re n ' t so m u c h "t h e l i tt l e g uy" a g a i nst t h e a u t h o r i t i es
as t h e crazy g u y . T h at was t h e fi rst t h i n g t h at made t h e m
i nte rest i n g to m e . A n y o l d extre m i st g e e k c a n w rite j a rg o n ized
p o l e m i c s a g a i n st t h e Bad G u ys, b ut o n l y the CRA ZY a re both
m oti vated a n d d u m b e n o u g h t o f i re t h at f i rst s h ot in the
revo l u t i o n. T h i s n utti ness g i ves B l ack's p i eces a n a u t h e n t i c ity,
and a k i n d of cred i b i l i ty to the rest of u s c raz ies, t h at transce n d s
a n y m e re p o l i t i c a l party.
On the ot h e r h a n d , a n y s c h i z o can be a u t h e n t i ca l l y s c h izoi d .
T h e t h i n g a b o u t B l ack's rants was t h at t h ey l o o ked i n sane by
C H O I C E , and m o re i m p o rta n t l y , t h ey only looked i n s a n e
b e c a u s e t h ey w e r e m o re U N R E L E N T I N G LY C L EV E R t h a n w h at
p eo p l e were used t o . I f YO U we re n't c razy, t h e f l ye rs weren't
c razy - t h ey were B R I L L I AN T . S o m et i m e s , off e n s i v e l y so. A n d
t h at h a s a l ways b e e n o n e of t h e roots of B o b B l a c k's p ro b l e m .
You k n ow , h i s " p ro b l e m . " I t h i n k it i rr i tates peo p l e o n a
s u bco n s c i o u s l evel to be to l d , even i n a q u as i -j est i n g s i t u at i o n ,
t h at n ot o n l y a r e t h e i r cows N O T SAC R E D , b u t t h at s o m e
peo p l e EAT t h e m . W i t h K ET C H U P !
Yes, a n y c razy can su c k i n t h e w o r l d's woes a n d t h e n s pew
t h e m back out rearra n g ed . B u t B l ac k's a r ra n g e m e n t i s D EA D LY .
H i s best work h u rts t h e b ra i n s o f n o r m a l s - act u a l l y i nj u res
t h e m . A n d t h ey f i g h t back s o m et i m es , b u t not j u st w i t h words.
I t's partly because B o b B l ack i s a natu ral wordsplicer. H e u ses
N ewspeak against the M i n i stry of T r u t h . The words t h e m s e l ves
a re j uxtap osi t i o n s of o ppos i n g b uzzwords . . . so that t hey are
s i m u ltaneo u s l y fam i l i a r, b u t a l i e n . I t p u ts t h e read e r i nto "th i n k
h ard" m o d e .
T h e r i g ht s i d e o f h i s b ra i n i s o b v i o u s l y s c rea m i n g th ro u g h a
m e g a p h o n e d i rect ly i nto h i s l eft brai n's ear, b u t for o n c e t h e l eft
b ra i n is a b l e to m ake U S E of it. B o b u ses t h e too l s of
p ro pa ga n d a to c reate s o m et h i n g too i n i t ia l l y confoun d i n g to be
real p ropag a n d a . . . a n d eve n i f i t was p ro pa ga n d a , what's it
p ro paga n d a for?? I n d i v i d u al ity? B y defi n it i o n , to p u s h

6
" i n d i v i d u a l ity" t h ro u g h p r o pag a n d a i s a c o n t rad i ct i o n i n t e r m s .
You d o n 't p reserve i n d i v i d u a l i ty by c reat i n g ro l e m o d e l s - you
g et peo p l e to abandon ro l e models. Role models l i ke h e roes and
g o d s a n d g ove r n m e n ts.
B l ac k has n ot o n ly c o n ce p t u a l ized t h i s - p l e nty of " k o o ks"
h ave too - but has s u cceeded in co m m u n icat i n g i t . . . in m a k i n g
t r u e a n t i- p r o pa g a n d a , an a n t i d ote a g a i n st TV co m m e rc i a l s
w h i c h a re a t h o u sa n d t i m es s i c k e r t h a n B o b's b l a c kest . As
Sac red Scri be of t h e C h u rc h of the S u b G e n i u s , I h ave read
m a n y m a n i festos w i t h t h e same m essa g e . T h e d i ffere n ce h e re i s ,
i t ' s WELL D O NE , a n d i t's N OT A M ESSAG E - it's the m a ssage
itself! H e is the rare c o m b i nati o n , the t r u e o uts i d e r w h o is sti l l
l i te rate, w h o ca n sti l l cope ( we l l , so far, a n yway) . . . a n d can m a k e
t h e stru g g l e for s l a c k e n te rta i n i n g . I t 's p l a i n t h at a l ot of work
g oes i n to his d i atri bes a g a i nst work.

T h at's why, o u t of t h e h u n d reds o r t h o u s a n d s of peo p l e w h o

s i m u l ta n e o u s l y b u t i n d e p e n d e n t l y sta rted s e l f-p u b l i s h i n g t h e i r
" ra n ts" i n t h e l ate 1 970's ( t h a n ks to c h e a p xerox tec h n o l ogy) ,
o n ly a few n a mes s t i c k o u t , a n d B o b ' s is o n e of t h e m .
I t i s my avocat i o n to seek o u t a l l t h ose a t t h e very fri n ges o f
t h e ex p l o d i n g u n iverse, t h e o u t s i d ers, t h e U n w i tt i n g ( o r not)
D i sco rd i a n s , t h ose n ot at t h e cutting e d g e b u t at the
D ECAP I TAT I N G e d g e . . . t h ose p us h i n g t h e VERY P R E C I P I C E
eve r forwa rd , p u s h i n g t h e B R I N K ever f u rt h e r b a c k , t ry i n g as
h a rd as t h ey can to get away f ro m the center of t h i n g s i n o r d e r to
m o re c l early S E E t h e center in re l at i o n to t h e W H O L E . Or s o m e
s u c h s h i t . . . t h e re a re a l ot of peo p l e l i ke t h at . B u t every t i m e I
d i scove red s o m e new f re a k i s h i n d i v i d u a l o r g ro u p o r p u b l i s h e r ,
B o b B l ack h ad a l ways g otten t h e re j u st before m e . H e h as n eve r
been ent i re l y a l o n e because of t h i s . I t's p r o b a b l y w h y h e i s n 't
d ead l i ke h i s f r i e n d G e rry R e i t h .
I d o n 't t h i n k B ob eve r h a r b o red a n y i l l u s i o n s t h at h i s m a n i ac a l
o n e-sh eet assa u lts we re g o i n g to H EL P t h e WO R L D - it's m o re
l i ke, "Wel l , t h e wo r l d may a l ready be sc rewed p ast h o pe , b u t , by
G o d , I W O N ' T GO DOWN W I T H O U T A F I G HT . " I t's the o l d
" t h o r n i n t h e s i d e" batt l e p l a n , t h e " O p e rat i o n M i n df u c k " A n t i ­
C o n s p i racy - t h e love o f disorganiza tion t h at i s t h e o n l y
M OT I V E fo r h a l t i n g t h e re l e n t l ess m a r c h towards co m p u l s ive
over- o rg a n izati o n . The o l d-fash i o n e d , re l i a b l e term i tes-at-t he-

7
fo u n d a t i o n s-of-soc i ety rout i n e . B u g s B u n n y. T h e O b n o x i o u s
V i s i o n a ry W h o W o n ' t S h u t U p A b o u t H ow D u m b Y O U A re ,
f u e l ed by t h e s p i rit t h at , i n s o m e p re h i st o r i c a g e , was b o r n t h e
fi rst t i m e t w o k i d s c u t u p i n c h u rc h .
I t i s o u r N a m e l ess M i s s i o n t o keep t h i s s p i ri t a l ive. I t i s i n t h e
g ra n d trad i t i o n o f S w i ft a n d a l l t h e o t h e r g reat pa m p h l eteers,
streetc o r n e r p r o p h ets, and soap box ra nters .
I t a l so p a rtakes o f a n o t h e r g ra n d trad i t i o n o f t h e c o u ra g e o u s
pam p h l eteer - p ove rty. I d o n 't t h i n k B o b i s g o i n g to get r i c h off
t h i s b o o k , a l t h o u g h it certa i n ly wo u l d be poet i c j u stice if he d i d .
Few h ave wo rked h a rd e r a t d e n o u n c i n g w o r k ; h e s h o u l d a t l e ast
b e pai d . He d i stri b u ted h i s flyers for free, a n d as fa r as fa m e
g oes, we l l , h i s n a m e i s p r o b a b l y a m o n g t h e W h o's W h o o f t h e
FB I , t h e Sec ret S e rv i c e , a n d a n y o n e e l se wh ose j o b it i s t o watch
g uys l i ke B l ac k a n d m a k e s u re h e d oesn't g o to fou n d i n g a
c h u rc h o r form i n g a n a r m y o r a n yth i n g l i ke that.
When I rea l ized t h at " w o r k " was t h e m ost dest r u ct i ve yet l east­
ad. m itted of the Cons p i racy's too l s , I t ried to ex p l a i n i t to p eo p l e .
Even th e " h ippest" h ave t ro u b l e m a k i n g t h i s p h i l os o p h i ca l l ea p
A L L T H E WAY to i t s c o n c l u s i o n , t h o u g h . I t i s a l m ost
U N I V E R S A L LY accepted t h at work i s s o m e i n evita b l e t h i n g l i ke
b reat h i n g o r eati n g t h at t h e h u m a n race w i l l a l ways h ave to l i ve
w i t h . It i s a r u l e s o i m b e d d ed in a l l c u l t u res t h at i t has a l ways
been practi ca l l y u n s po ke n . I t's n e a r l y i m poss i b l e fo r peo p l e to
rea l ly c o n c e pt u a l ize t h i s , so d e e p l y h as it been h a m m e red i n to
the very c o re of o u r be i n g s . We a l l carry b l i ste rs f ro m d o i n g
m u c h o f t h at h a m m e r i n g o u rse l ves!
It m ay ta ke h u m a n i ty 1 0, 000 yea rs to rea l ize t h at "work" as
c u rre n t l y d ef i n ed i s t h e root of a ll evi l - but i f we d o n 't sta rt
w o rk i n g at abo l i s h i n g work N OW , i t' l l take eve n L O N G E R ! W h at
d o we s u g g est as a R E PLAC E M EN T for t o i l? We l l, n e i t h e r B lack
nor I h ave g otten to t h at yet. We' l l c ross t h at b r i d g e w h e n we
come to i t . Let the ro bots or s o m et h i n g d o the s h i twork - if
t h e re aren't P E O P L E who want to d o it, and t h e re probab l y wi l l
be.
( We l l , t h e i d ea i s n 't rea l ly as s i m p l e as a l l t h at. I s h o u l d n ' t n eed
to spe l l o u t t h at i t i s n 't "work" per s e t h at b o t h e rs u s , b u t the
p red i c a m e n t t h at o n ly t h e born-rich can avo i d : H AV I N G to
spend half a l i fe on s o m et h i n g yo u rea l l y d o n 't want t o do. O h ,

8
you say y o u L I K E e n te r i n g d ata fo r $4 .65 a n h o u r f o r s o m e o n e
you d o n 't k n ow , so t h at so m et h i n g y o u d o n 't u n de rsta n d can
h a p pen? A l l I can say i s t h at t h e f i rst ste p towards f reed o m i s t o
rea l ize t h at yo u r a re a . . . a h , fo rget i t . )
C o m m u n i s m sta rted o u t as a b u n c h of pa m p h l ets. B l ac k ' s
sp leen-ex p l o s i o n s are ten t i mes m o re s u bvers i ve t h a n t h e
C o m m u n i st M a n i festo - C o m m u n i s m a n d a l l its i l k sti l l t a k e
work fo r G RA N T E D ( a n d t h e p a y i s l o u sy to b o o t ) - but at t h e
same ti m e t h e L a s t I n ternat i o n a l flyers a re a t h o us a n d t i m es
m o re A m e r i c a n t h a n t h e B i l l of R i g hts. B l ac k i s m e r e l y thin king
ahead. I n effect, B l ac k is d ri l l i n g pat i e n t l y away at t h e VE R Y
FO U N DAT I O N of o u r c i v i l izat i o n . TH E CO RE. T h e ROTT E N
CORE.
A n d t h e n th ere's t h e we i rd p o l i t i c a l viewp o i n t f ro m w h i c h
B l a c k h atc h es h i s l i tera ry term i tes. A t s o m e p o i nt i n t h e d i m p ast
it m ay have been Left i st , but n ow t h e Left is t h e target h e ' s
1
c l osest to a n d t h e eas i est to h it dead b u l l seye . S o m e h ow t h e
m oveme nts t h at we re s u p posed to be fai l safe - a n a rc h y ,
L i bertari a n i s m , etc . -al l t u r n e d i nto stu p i d cartoo n s of h u m a n
fo l ly before h i s very eyes. A L L H E D I D WAS RE P O R T I T . H e 's
n ot o n t h e ri g h t s i d e of center o r t h e l eft, b u t rat h e r at t h e po i nt
BETWEE N t h e two o n t h e fa r e n d of a C I R C LE t h at t h ey both
c reate . A n d t h en up ( o r d own?) a b o u t 1 0 feet off t h e d i ag ra m , f i x
t h at p o i n t i n th i n a i r - t h at's B o b B l ack's p l ace o n t h e p o l i t i ca l
spectr u m . T h i s i s s u bvers i o n f ro m a n E N T I R E LY NEW
D I RE CT I O N , and I N a n e n t i re l y new d i rect i o n . . . one side of t h e
p o l i t i c a l spect r u m i s as b a d a s t h e o t h e r w h e n yo u ' re sta n d i n g
t h i s far back.

B l ack's n o C o m m i e ; h e d oesn 't want eve ry o n e eq u a l l y p o o r ­

h e wants eve ry o n e J U ST P LA I N R I C H , b u t W I T H O U T
WO R K I N G . Stu p i d? A p i pe d ream? T h i s e n t i re c i v i l izat i o n i s a
STU P I D P I P E D REA M . I f o u r re m ote a n c esto rs co u l d h ave seen
u s in a c rysta l b a l l , t h ey wou l d h ave P U K E D . B o b B l ac k was
BOR N i n to this centu ry b u t he's P U K I N G A N YWAY. I n deed , he's
p u k i n g eve ryw h e re h e c a n . H e wants " T H E M " to k n o w t h at you
can 't hide from the p uke.
He has l eft h i s b l oody werew o l f t racks on every w o rt h y fe l l ow
d i s r u pter's n etwo rks f ro m S u bG e n i u s to D i a l-A-R u m o r , a n d
l ately i n j u st a b o u t eve ry wo u l d - b e c o u n te rc u l t u ra l " a b ove-

9
g ro u n d " p u b l i c at i o n h e can g et i nto, w h i c h i s a l ot of t h e m
n owadays . T h e F O OLS - t h ey d o n 't k n ow w h at h e ' s t ry i n g to
D O to t h e m !
H e see m s to f i n d g reat p l eas u re i n i nvad i n g a n y m ag az i n e t h at
c o n s i d e rs itself " rad i ca l " j u st to s h ow t h e m t h at " rad i c a l " i s
re lative. H e l oves to s h ow peo p l e t h i n g s t h ey d on't u n d e rstan d ,
t o rem i n d t h e m o f t h i s .
W h i c h b r i n g s u s to B o b B l ac k's e n e m i e s , w h o a r e l eg i o n , a n d
m a n y of w h o m were o n c e h i s f r i e n d s . O n e of m y g reat w o r r i es i s
h o w l o n g i t w i l l be befo re h e d e c i d es I h ave bec o m e a h o p e l ess
case and g u n s for me, too. W i t h B o b , you g et the i m press i o n
t h at i t cou l d a l ways h a p p e n a t A N Y S E CO N D . H e's a rat h e r
d e m a n d i n g g u y. I 've bee n i n h i s c o m pany o n ly a few t i m es , a n d
a l ways b ri ef l y , so h i s o n - l i n e perso n a l i ty i s rea l ly u n k n own to
m e . . . but I k n ow t h at h e refuses to p ret e n d t h at he's lett i n g you
foo l h i m . I t ' s p ro b a b l y a g ood th i n g t h at we l i ve s o f a r f ro m e a c h
oth e r.
W h at t h rows peo p l e off i s t h at B l ac k wa nts to h ave h i s cake
and eat i t too. W H Y IS T H AT TOO M U C H TO A S K? W h at's the
point in H AV I N G t h e d a m n C A K E u n l ess yo u ' re g o i n g to EAT i t?
W h at ' re y o u g o n n a d o w i t h i t , s h ow i t to you r f r i e n d s? W h at's t h e
p o i n t i n be i n g a b l e to A F FO R D l e i s u re t i m e i f you d o n 't h ave
T I M E fo r it? T h ese q u est i o n s a re l itera l l y too h i d e o u s in t h e i r
u l t i m ate i m p l i cat i o n s for m ost peo p l e to D W ELL u po n . I t
re m i n d s t h e m o f w h at t h ey've ALR EADY LOST . A n d t h at's w h at
t h ey are afra i d to ad m it: how m u c h is a l ready G O N E FO R EV E R .
T o even ask t h i s q u est i o n I M PL I ES T H AT O N E'S L I F E I S B E I N G
WAST E D . I t's l i k e a n i n s u l t co m i n g fro m a n u n k n ow n so u rce.
We wo u l d be forced to K N OW we a re S T U P I D ! B es i d es , w h at
ca n we d o a b o u t i t , an yway?
We can do w h atever it is t h at we d o best , w h i c h i s u p to each
of u s to d e c i d e . T h at's w h at B lack wants retu r n ed to u s - the
d ec i s i o n , t h e c h o i ce . ( We l l , so m e who aren 't b o r n r i c h , do g et
t h e c h o ice, b u t o n ly if t h ey ' re lucky. T h e l u cky o n es a l ways
fo rget t h i s . ) I d o n't t h i n k he act u a l ly expects to g et t h at c h o i ce
h i m s e l f , n ot o n T H I S p l a n et , n ot T H I S c e n t u ry - h e j u st doesn 't
want to be the o n l y pers o n who K N OWS T H E R E CAN BE O N E .
A g ood c h u n k o f t h e i ro n y reg a rd i n g T H E A B O L I T I O N O F
WO R K i s t h at t h e ave rag e worker can o n l y u n d e rsta n d h a l f t h e
b as i c g i st, a n d i nt e rp rets i t as l az i n ess. T h e re a r e peo p l e w h o

10
h ate work because t h ey are l azy. B u t w h at m a d e t h e m l azy?
T h ey were s m a rt e n o u g h to see t h at t h e re is no m ea n i n g to w h at
m ost of t h e w o r l d i s d o i n g o n auto- p i l ot . . . b u t n ot s m a rt e n o u g h
t o rea l ize t h at t h ey have t h e i r o w n m e a n i n g i n t h e bac k o f t h e i r
m i n d s , o r h i d de n i n t h e i r d rawers.
I t's precisely because we a re NOT l azy t h at we wa nt to Q U I T
WO R K I N G - j e s u s , we've g ot WO R K to d o i f we d o n 't wa nt to
WAST E O U R L I V E S o n some J O B ! B l ack has h ad to s u p po rt
h i mself, to work fo r t h e C o n s p i racy j u st l i k e anybody e l s e . H i s
o n ly oth e r c h o i ce , i f h e wants to s p e n d h i s t i m e o n w h at h e d oes
best, is poverty. W H Y A R E N 'T T H E R E O T H E R C H O I C ES?
Because n o bo d y tho u g ht of t h i s 500 years a g o , t h at's why.
B l ac k ' s i s a l o n g- r a n g e p roject. I t's n o j ac k-off. H e K N OWS he
wo n't l i ve to see it h a p p e n - h e ' l l s u re l y die f i rst, p a rt l y because
h e's h ad to work so h a rd .
I n d eed , i t i s o u r very H A T E o f t h e work t h at keeps u s g o i n g .
Speak i n g j u st fo r myse lf, I wa n t R EV E N G E fo r a l l t h e yea rs
t h ey've A L R EADY TA K E N . T h ey've exto rted 3/4's of my waki n g
h o u rs , h a l f m y d re a m s , a n d h ave n o d o u bt s h aved 20 years off
my l ifet i m e t h a n ks t o h y p e rte n s i o n , stress, etc. I W I L L D I E O F
WO R K . Even i f I c a n eve n t u a l l y m a ke a l i vi n g off t h e t h i n g s I l i ke
- i . e . , e n d l ess ra nts l i ke t h i s - i n stead of c o r p o rate
usel essn ess, it's ST I L L ALL W R O N G . I S H O U L D N 'T HAVE TO. I
d o n 't m i n d D O I N G it - w h at I m i n d i s t h e fact t h at I ' m n ot g i ven
a CHOI CE.
F o r t h e s l ac ke r w h o i s a l s o a workah o l i c , l i ke B l ac k , o n ly t h e
c o n t ro l l e d p ractice of sc h i zo p h re n i at r i c s can a l l ow o n e t o
STAY SA N E. N o w o n d e r h e writes s o wel l . N o wo n d e r h e c h u rn s
o u t a l l t h i s a n ti -wo rk wo rk fo r n ot h i n g . H E H A S T O , O R H E
W I LL G O EVEN MADDER.
A n d yet, i f y o u l o o k a l i tt l e c l oser, it's o b v i o u s t h at B o b m u st
be fu l l of h ope. It wou l d take an a l m ost s u pe r h u m a n a m o u nt of
h o pe fo r the f u t u re to c o u nterba l a n ce h i s h i d eo u s l y b l a c k v i s i o n
of t h e p rese n t . F o r h i m t o w r i t e T H E A BO L I T I O N O F WO R K
i m p l ies t h at h e t h i n ks s o m e d ay i t W I L L H A P P E N . T h i s certa i nty
d e m o n st rates a h o pe even deeper t h a n the p i t B l ac k f i n d s us a l l
i n n ow.
B la c k i s n 't t h rowi n g b o m b s , he's w ri t i n g b o o k s . And t hat's l i ke
g o i n g after t h e Co l ossus w i t h a pea-s h ooter. T h e C o l ossus

11
itself N EV E R N OT I C ES a s i n g l e pea b o u n c i n g off h i s a n k l es
d ow n t h e re . B u t i f e n o u g h p eo p l e see wei rdos l i ke B o b b l asti n g
away w i t h t h e i r p at h et i c l itt l e pea-sh o ote rs , a n d h avi n g a good
time at it, some f u t u re race of a b n o rm a l s m ay get t h e i r act
s u ff i c i e nt l y togeth e r to T I E T H E COLO S S U S 'S S H O ELAC ES
T O G ETH E R w h i le h e i s d i st racted by t h e s u d d e n f us i l l a d e of
peas . And o n ce s o m eth i n g T H AT B I G i s d o w n , it's as g ood as
OUT.
Yes . . . t h e re i s H O P E , i f n ot m u c h PAY.
TH E A B OL I T I O N OF W O R K , p r o b a b l y the m ost rece n t p i ece
in h e re , i s a g reat c u l m i n at i o n of. . . s o m e t h i n g . . . Perhaps
s o m eday i t w i l l b e R EQ U I R E D R EA D I N G in our e l e m e n tary
s c h o o l s - with s i m p l e r wo rd s , of co u rse, and with c u te
i l l u s t rat i o n s of Care Bears t h row i n g d ow n t h e i r t oo l s a n d
b ri efcases a n d wal k i n g off t h e j o b . P e r h a ps s o m ed ay h i sto ry w i l l
b e d i v i d ed i nto " B efo re B o b " a n d " Afte r B o b . " O r, p e r h a ps t h i s
mate r i a l w i l l b e ba n ne d . P e r h a ps foss i l ized a n d forg otte n . B ut
s o m ew h e re , i n s o m e oth e r t i m e a n d p l ace, h opefu l l y s oo n , s o m e
K I D w i l l u n earth i t , read it a n d g i ve b i rt h to a n eve n B ETT E R
TER M I TE.

12
"Anyone, provided that he can be amusing, has the right to talk of himself."­
BAUDELAIRE

I'VE G OT A
NIETZS C HE TRIG G ER FIN G ER!
(A BRAG)

P l ease a l low m e to i ntrod u c e myse l f . . .

I a m Black the Knife, I a m secretly famous, I have designer
genes, I ' m o n a m a c ro psyc h ot i c d i et , I ' m a n a r c h o rexi c , I
u n d erwe nt pal eo l it h i u m treat m e n t , I ' m t h e 6-Pac- M a n ! I n ot o n l y
k n ow W h o Wrote t h e B o o k o f Love, I ed ited o u t t h e m ushy parts!
I p ract i c e satantric yoga, I g rad u ated S u m m a C u m Lou d m o u t h
f r o m M i skato n i c U n ivers i ty , I ' m fee l i n g my Q u i xotes! I tau g h t
M a o Zed o n g t o swi m: I tau g h t H it l e r t o h a n g wa l l paper: I tau g h t
Anne S ullivan h o w to say " wate r": I ta u g h t " Bo b " h o w to inhale. I
b ro ke t h e co m m o n c o d e , I tripped t h e G reat Leap Fo rwa rd !
I w rote my own s c r i pt u res, t h e D a rth Vedas. Eve ryw h e re I g o ,
ca rgo cults s p r i n g u p i n m y wake, I s m o ke P ot l atc h ! I d rew
atte n t i o n to the savant p ro b l e m , I sto m p st ri p- m i n d e rs and b u l l y
b a n a l - retentives, I put t h e sat i re back i n to saty r i as i s , I d e m a n d
spec i a l p r i v i l eges f o r everybody. I c u t t h e d e c k a l l t h e w a y d o w n
to steerage. I t h rew S n o w ba l l s a t N a p o l e o n - I reve a l ed t h at
Reag a n ' s m a k e u p is K h m e r ro u g e - I p l ay J a m es B rady's skull
l i ke a piccolo. A m a l c h e m ist, I t u rn g o l d i nto lead , I ' m
i m p ro p e rti ed , I r u n a D u c k So u p k i tc h e n , I s h owed t h at Aq u a r i u s
i s not a R o m a n q u eer. A s for t h e fam i ly I say, " l n c ' est I a v i e ! "
I pe rfo rm cynicalisthenics, I exo rc ise w i t h o u t eve n wo rk i n g u p
a sweat, I ru n o n dialectricity, I g o whole-hog-wild! I s a i d "Yo'
M a m a ! " to Dad a ! I say " F u c k ' e m eve n i f t h ey c a n take a j o k e ! "
Afte r M y D i n n e r W i t h A n d re B reto n h e g ot h i s j ust desserts! I g ot
" Do kt o rs fo r ' B o b "' to w r i te m e a 'scrip- w i t h unlimited refills. I
took a n E r i s P o l l a n d w o n 't g ive i t bac k ! I o rg a n ized
Deto u rn e m e n t of Roses, I f l u n g t h e n e plus ultra- l eft ag a i n st d e
rigeur mortis, I tel l eve ry o n e n ot t o do w h at I say! I ' m b e h i nd t h e
odd- bal l , m y a n cestor was P u t d o w n M a n ! J u d g e C rate r freed m e
o n my own recognizance, I as k : " W h at wo u l d H a r p o say ? "

13
 F o r m e , know a i n't n o t h i n g b u t no m i sspel led , a n d a l l c ret i n s
a r e l i a rs . i g o-fo r- baroq u e , I ' m a l ow l i fe h i erarc h , I p i c ked t h e
L o c ke a n d e n tered t h e Avant- G a r d e n of E d e n . I g ot S pa rtac u s t o
take t h e rap f o r m e ! I ' m t h e heavywe i g ht L i g ht-B ri n ger, I ' m t h e
o u t- of-co u rt j ester w h o won't sett l e, I u p t h e v i g i l a nte, I ' m a law
u nto myse l f b u t b reak i t a nyway! I m a d e a fo rced l a n d i n g o n the
M oe b i u s St r i p and n ow I want to k n ow, w h i c h side a re you o n ?

THE SPIRIT OF THE TZARA liVES ON!

( 1 982)

14
 I.
THE ABOLITION OF WORK
(1980, 1985)
"Abo l i t i o n " o r i g i n ated as a s peec h at t h e G o r i l l a G rotto i n S a n
F ra n c i sc o , a n " ad u l t p l ay e n v i ro n m e n t , " i n F e b r u a ry 1 98 1 .
P r o p r i eto r G a ry Warne, w h o l ate r beca m e a p o l i c e m a n , h as
d e n o u n ced t h e even t as t h e wo rst specta c l e he's eve r staged ,
a n d h e m u st h ave meant i t s i n ce h e later h ad h i s g o o n s beat m e
u p . I nt r i g u e d b y t h e posters o f t h e L ast I n t e r n at i o n a l (see II.
bel ow) , Warne c h a l l en g e d m e to " p u t y o u r foot w h e re you r
m o u t h i s . " I put i t s o m ew h e re e l s e . T h e exc l u s i o n of a n o isy
g ro u p of p u n ks who, at m y i nst i g at i o n , t r i e d to get in w i t h o u t
pay i n g w a s o n l y o n e of t h e eve n i n g 's d ivers i o n s .
F i ve years l ate r I rev i se d a n d g reat ly exp a n d ed t h e s p i e l i nt o
t h e fo l l owi n g essay, w h i l e reta i n i n g , I t h i n k , m u c h of its f e e l as a
speec h . I t has p r i d e of p l ac e because I st i l l t h i n k , as m a n y of t h e
ot h e r texts assert i n part i c u l a r c o n texts, t h at work as t h e m ost
f u n d a m ental n e g at i o n of free d o m is a n i n sti t u t i o n t h at m u st be
a d d ressed , and ove rc o m e , by a n y o n e p reten d i n g t o h ave a n
i nte rest i n l i b e rty. A n y o n e w h o i g n o res o r evades t h e i s s u e of
work itse l f m ay we l l be a " l i berta r i a n " ( o r for t h at m atter a
M a rx i st) b u t h e i s n o l i bertar i a n .

15
 THE ABOLITION OF WORK

N o o n e s h o u l d ever work.
W o r k i s t h e s o u rce of nearly all t h e m i s e ry in t h e w o r l d . A l m ost
any ev i l y o u ' d care to n a m e c o m es from wo rk i n g or f ro m l i vi n g
i n a w o r l d d es i g n ed f o r work. I n o r d e r to stop s u fferi n g , w e have
to stop wo rk i n g .
T h at doesn 't mean w e h ave t o sto p d o i n g t h i n g s. I t does m e a n
c reat i n g a n ew w a y of l i fe based o n p l ay ; i n oth e r words, a ludic
revo l ution . By " p l ay" I m e a n a l s o festivity, c reat i v i ty ,
c o n v i v i a l i ty, c o m m e n s a l ity, a n d m aybe even a rt . T h e re i s m o re
to p l ay t h a n c h i l d 's p l ay, as w o rt h y as t h at i s . I ca l l for a
c o l l ective advent u re in g e n e ra l ized j oy and f reel y
i nterd e p e n d e n t ex u berance. P l ay i s n 't p ass ive. D o u btl ess w e a l l
n eed a l ot m o re t i m e f o r s h e e r s l ot h a n d s l a c k t h a n w e eve r
e n j oy n ow, reg ard l ess of i n c o m e o r o c c u pat i o n , b u t o n c e
recovered f r o m e m p l oy m e n t- i n d u ced ex h a u st i o n n e a r l y a l l of u s
w a n t to act. O b l o m o v i s m a n d Sta k h a n o v i s m a r e t w o s i des of t h e
s a m e d e based c o i n .
T h e l u d i c l i fe i s tota l l y i n c o m pat i b l e w i t h existi n g rea l i ty . S o
m u c h t h e w o rse fo r " rea l i ty , " t h e g rav i ty h o l e t h at s u c ks t h e
vital ity f r o m t h e l i tt l e i n l i fe t h at sti l l d i st i n g u i s hes i t f r o m m e re
s u rviva l . C u r i o u s l y - o r maybe n ot - a l l t h e o l d i d e o l o g ies are
c o n s e rvat ive because t h ey be l i eve in wo r k . Some of t h e m , l i ke
M a rx i s m a n d m ost b ra n d s of a n a rc h i s m , be l i eve i n work a l l t h e
m o re f i e rcely beca use t h ey be l i eve i n so l i tt l e e l s e .
L i bera l s s a y we s h o u l d e n d e m p l oy m e n t d i scri m i n at i o n . I say
we s h o u l d end e m p l oy m e n t . C o n s e rvat i ves s u p p o rt r i g h t-to­
work laws. F o l l ow i n g K a r l Marx's wayward so n - i n - l aw Pa u l
Lafarg u e I s u p po rt t h e r i g h t t o b e l azy. Left i sts favor f u l l
e m p l o y m e n t . L i ke t h e s u rreal i sts - except t h at I ' m n ot k i d d i n g
- I favor f u l l une m pl oy m e nt. T rots kyi sts ag itate for p e r m a n e n t
revo l ut i o n . I ag i tate fo r pe r m a n e n t reve l ry . B u t i f a l l t h e
i de o l o g ues (as t h ey d o ) advocate w o r k - a n d n ot o n l y bec a u s e
t h ey p l a n t o m a ke o t h e r peo p l e d o th e i rs - t h ey a re st ra n g e l y

17
re l u cta n t to say s o . T h ey w i l l ca r ry o n e n d l es s l y a b o u t wages,
h o u rs , wo rk i n g cond itions, exp l o i tat i o n , p rod u c t i v i ty ,
p rofita b i l ity. T h ey' l l g l ad ly ta l k a b o u t a n yt h i n g b u t work itse l f .
T h ese experts w h o offe r to d o o u r t h i n k i n g for u s ra re l y s h a re
t h e i r co n c l u s i o n s a b o u t work, for a l l its sal i e n cy i n t h e l i ves of a l l
o f u s . A m o n g t h e m s e l ves t h ey q u i b b l e over t h e deta i l s . U n i o n s
a n d m a n a g e m e n t ag ree t hat we o u g h t to se l l t h e t i m e of o u r l i ves
i n exc h a n g e fo r s u rv i va l , a l th o u g h t h ey h a g g l e over the p r i ce .
M a rx i sts t h i n k we s h o u l d b e bossed b y b u rea u c rats .
L i berta r i a n s t h i n k we s h o u l d be bossed by b u s i n essme n .
F e m i n i sts d o n 't care w h i c h f o r m boss i ng takes so l o n g a s t h e
bosses a re wo m e n . C l ea r l y t h ese i d e o l o g y- m o n g e rs h ave
ser i o u s d i ffere n ces over h ow to d i vvy up the s p o i l s of power.
J ust as c l ea r l y , n o n e of t h e m h ave a n y o bj ect i o n to power as
such a n d a l l of t h e m want to keep u s w o rk i n g .
Y o u m a y b e wo n de r i n g i f I ' m j o k i n g o r seri o u s . I ' m j o k i n g and
seri o u s . T o be l u d i c i s n o t to be l u d i c r o u s . P l ay d oesn't h ave to
be frivo l o u s , a l t h o u g h frivol i ty i s n 't t r i v i a l i ty; very often we o u g h t
to take frivo l i ty se r i o u s l y . I 'd l i ke l i fe to b e a g a m e - b u t a g a m e
w i t h h i g h stakes. I want to p l ay tor keeps.
T h e alternat i ve to work i s n 't j u st i d l e n ess. To be l u d i c is n ot t o
be q u aal u d i c . As m u c h as I t reas u re t h e p l eas u re of torpor, it's
n ever m o re reward i n g t h a n w h e n i t p u n ctu ates o t h e r p l easu res
and pasti mes. N o r am I p r o m ot i n g the m a n aged t i me­
d i sci p l i ned safety-va l ve cal led " l e i s u re " ; fa r f ro m i t . Lei s u re is
n o nwork f o r t h e sake of work . Le i s u re i s t h e ti m e spent
recoveri n g fro m work a n d in the f re n z i ed b u t h o p e l ess atte m pt
to forget a b o u t w o r k . M a n y peo p l e ret u rn f ro m vacat i o n so beat
t h at t h ey l o o k fo rwa rd to retu rn i n g to work so t h ey can rest u p .
T h e m a i n d i ffere n c e between work a n d l e i s u re i s t h at a t work at
l east you get p a i d fo r yo u r a l i e n a t i o n a n d e n e rvat i o n .
I am n ot p l ayi n g d e f i n it i o n a l g a m es w i t h a n y b o d y . W h e n I say
I want to a b o l i s h work, I mean j u st w h at I say, but I wa nt to say
w h at I mean by defi n i n g m y terms i n n o n - i d i osyn c rat i c ways. M y
m i n i m u m defi n it i o n of w o r k i s forced labor, t h at i s , c o m p u l s o ry
p rod u ct i o n . Both e l e m e nts a re esse n t i a l . W o r k is prod u ct i o n
e n f o rced b y eco n o m i c o r p o l i t i c a l m e a n s , by t h e ca rrot o r t h e
sti c k . ( T h e ca rrot i s j u st t h e st i c k by oth e r m e a n s . ) B u t n ot a l l
c reat i o n i s work. W o r k i s n eve r d o n e f o r i ts o w n sake, it's d o n e

18
o n acco u nt of so m e p ro d u ct o r o u t p u t t h at t h e w o r k e r ( o r , m o re
often , s o m e b o d y . else) g ets o u t of i t . T h i s i s w h at w o r k
n ecessa r i l y i s . To d efi n e i t i s to d es p i se it. B u t w o r k i s u s u a l l y
eve n wo rse t h a n i t s d ef i n i t i o n d e c rees. T h e d y n a m i c o f
d o m i n at i o n i nt r i n s i c t o wo rk t e n d s ove r t i m e towa rd e l a b o rat i o n .
I n advan ced work-ri d d l e d societies, i n c l u d i n g a l l i n d u s t r i a l
s o c i e t i e s wheth e r c a p i ta l i st o r " C o m m u n i s t , " work i n va r ia b l y
acq u i res o t h e r att r i b utes w h i c h accent uate i t s o b n ox i o u s n ess.
U s u a l l y - a n d this i s even m o re true in " C o m m u n ist" t h a n
c a p i ta l i st c o u n tries, w h e re t h e state i s a l m ost t h e o n l y e m p l oye r
a n d every o n e i s a n e m p l oyee - work i s e m p l o y m e n t , i.e., wage­
l abor, w h ich m e a n s sel l i n g y o u rse l f o n t h e i nsta l l m e n t p l a n .
T h u s 95% o f A m e r i c a n s w h o work, w o r k f o r s o m ebody ( o r
s o m ething) e l s e . I n t h e U S S R o r C u ba o r Y u g os l av i a o r a n y
ot h e r a l te r n at i ve m o d e l w h i c h m i g ht be a d d uced , t h e
co rres po n d i n g f i g u re a p p roaches 1 00%. O n l y t h e e m batt l e d
T h i rd W o r l d peasant bast i o n s - M ex i c o , I n d i a , B raz i l , T u rkey ­
tem po ra r i l y s h e lter s i g n i f i c a n t co n c e n t rat i o n s of ag r i c u l t u r i sts
w h o perpet u ate the t rad i t i o n a l arra n g e m e n t of m ost l a b o re rs i n
t h e l ast seve ra l m i l l e n n i a , t h e pay m e n t o f taxes (= ra n s o m ) to t h e
state o r re nt t o paras i t i c l a n d l o rd s i n ret u rn for be i n g otherwise
l eft alone. Even t h i s raw d e a l i s beg i n n i n g to l o o k good. A ll
i n d ustrial ( a n d off i ce) wo rke rs a re e m p l oyees a n d u n d e r t h e s o rt
of s u rve i l l an c e w h i c h e n s u res serv i l ity.
But modern work h as worse i m p l i cati o n s . Peo p l e d o n 't j u st
work, t h ey h ave "j o b s . " O n e person d oes o n e p ro d u ct i ve tas k a l l
t h e ti m e o n a n o r-else bas i s . Even i f t h e tas k h as a q u a n t u m of
i nt r i n s i c i nterest ( as i n c reas i n g ly m a n y j o bs d o n 't) t h e
m o n ot o n y of i t s o b l i g ato ry exc l u s i v i ty d ra i n s i t s l u d i c poten t i a l .
A " j o b " t h at m i g h t e n g ag e t h e e n e rgies o f s o m e p eo p l e , f o r a
reaso n a b l y l i m ited ti m e , for t h e fu n of it, i s j u st a b u rd e n o n
those w h o have t o d o it fo r fo rty h o u rs a week w i t h n o say i n h o w
i t s h ou l d be d o n e , fo r t h e prof i t of o w n e rs w h o co n t r i bute
n ot h i n g to t h e p roj ect, a n d w i t h n o o p p o rt u n ity f o r s h a ri n g tas ks
o r s p read i n g the work a m o n g th ose who act u a l l y h ave to d o i t .
T h i s i s t h e rea l w o r l d of w o r k : a w o r l d of b u reau c rat i c
b l u n d e ri n g , of sex u a l h a rass m e n t a n d d i s c ri m i n at i o n , of
b o n e h ead bosses ex p l o i t i n g and scapegoat i n g thei r
s u bord i n ates w h o - by a n y rat i o n a l -tec h n i c a l c r i t e ri a - s h o u l d

19
be cal l i n g t h e s h ots. B u t capital i s m i n t h e real w o r l d
s u b o rd i n ates t h e rat i o n al m ax i m izat i o n of p rod u c t i v ity a n d
p rofit to t h e ex i g e n c i es of o r g a n i z at i o n a l c o n t ro l .
T h e d e g radati o n w h i ch m ost workers experience o n t h e j o b i s
t h e s u m of asso rted i n d i g n i t i es w h i c h can be d e n o m i n ated a s
" d i sc i p l i n e . " Foucau l t has c o m p lexified t h i s p h e n o m e n o n b u t i t
i s s i m p l e e no u g h . D i sci p l i n e c o n s i sts of t h e tota l ity o f
total i ta r i a n co n t ro l s at t h e wo r k p l ace - s u rvei l l a n c e , rotewo r k ,
i m posed work tem pos , p rod u ct i o n q u otas, p u n c h i n g i n- a n d
o ut-, e t c . D i s c i p l i n e i s w h at t h e facto ry a n d t h e off i c e a n d t h e
sto re s h a re w i t h t h e p r i s o n a n d t h e sc h o o l a n d t h e m e ntal
h os p i t a l . I t i s s o m et h i n g h i sto ri ca l l y o ri g i n a l a n d h o rri b l e . I t was
beyo n d t h e capacities of such d e m o n i c d i ctato rs of yore as N e ro
a n d G e n g h i s K h a n a n d I va n t h e Terri b l e . For a l l t h e i r bad
i n te n t i o n s t h ey j u st d i d n 't h ave the m a c h i n e ry to c o ntrol t h e i r
s u bjects as t h o r o u g h ly as m o d e rn des pots d o . D i sc i p l i n e i s t h e
d i st i n ct i v e l y d i a bo l i c a l m od e r n m o d e of c o n t ro l , i t i s a n
i n n ovative i n t r u s i o n w h i c h m u st be i nterd i cted a t t h e e a r l i est
o p p o rt u n i ty .
S u c h i s " wo r k . " P l ay i s j u st t h e o p p osite. P l ay i s a l ways
vo l u ntary . W h at m i g h t ot h e rw i se be p l ay is work if it's fo rced .
T h i s i s ax i o m at i c . B e r n i e de Koven h as defi n ed p l ay as t h e
" s u s p e n s i o n of c o n seq u e nces . " T h i s i s u n acce pta b l e i f i t i m p l i es
t h at p l ay i s i n c o n seq u e n t i a l . T h e p o i n t i s not t h at p l ay i s w i t h o u t
c o n seq u e n ces. T h i s i s to d e m e a n p l ay . T h e poi n t i s t h at t h e
con seq u e n ces, i f a n y , a r e g rat u i t o u s. P l ayi n g a n d g i v i n g a r e
c l ose l y re l ated , t h ey a re t h e b e h av i o ra l a n d transact i o n a l facets
of t h e s a m e i m p u l se, t h e p l ay- i n sti nct. T h e y s h a re an a r i stocrat i c
d i s d a i n f o r res u l ts. T h e p l aye r g ets someth i n g o u t of p l ay i n g ;
t h at's w h y h e p l ays. B u t t h e co re rewa rd i s t h e experience o f t h e
act i v i ty itself ( w h atever i t is) . S o m e otherw i se atte n t i ve st u d e nts
of p l ay , l i ke J o h an H u iz i n g a ( Homo L udens ) , defin e it as g a me­
p l ayi n g or fo l l owi n g r u les. I res pect H u i zi n g a's e ru d i t i o n b u t
e m p h a t i ca l l y rej ect h i s c o n st ra i nts. T h e re a r e m a n y g ood g a m es
( c h ess, baseba l l , M o n op o l y , b ri d g e) w h i ch a re r u l e-governed
but t h e re i s m u c h m o re to p l ay than g a m e- p l ay i n g .
C o n ve rsat i o n , sex, d a n c i n g , t rave l - t h ese p ract i ces aren't ru l e­
g ove r n e d b u t t h ey a re s u re l y p l ay i f a n yt h i n g i s . A n d ru l es c a n
b e played with a t l east as read i l y as a nyth i n g else.
Work m a k es a m o c k e ry of freed o m . T h e off i c i a l l i ne i s t h at we
a l l h ave r i g h ts and l i ve i n a d e m ocracy. Other u nf o rt u n ates w h o

20
aren't f ree l i ke we are h ave to l ive i n p o l i ce states. T h ese v i cti m s
o bey o r d e rs o r-else, n o m atte r h ow a r b itrary . T h e a u t h o r i t i es
keep t h e m u n d e r reg u l a r s u rve i l l an ce . State b u rea u c rats c o n t r o l
eve n t h e s m a l l e r deta i l s of everyday l ife. T h e offi c i a l s w h o p u s h
t h e m a ro u n d a re a n swera b l e o n ly to h i g h e r- u ps , p u b l i c o r
p ri vate . E i t h e r way, d i sse nt a n d d i sobed i e n ce are p u n i s h e d .
I nf o r m e rs rep o rt reg u l a r l y to t h e a u t h o ri t i e s . A l l t h i s i s s u p posed
to be a very bad t h i n g .
A n d so i t i s , a l t h o u g h i t i s n oth i ng b u t a desc r i pt i o n o f th e
m od e r n w o r k p l ace. T h e l i berals a n d c o n s e rvat i ves a n d
l i be rta r i a n s w h o l a m e n t tota l itari a n i s m a re p h o n i es a n d
hypoc rites. T h e re i s m o re f reed o m in a n y m o d e rately de­
Sta l i n ized d i ctat o rs h i p t h a n t h e re i s i n t h e o rd i na ry A m e ri c a n
workp lace. Y o u f i n d t h e same s o rt of h i e rarchy a n d d i sc i pl i n e i n
a n off i c e o r facto ry a s y o u d o i n a p r i s o n o r m o n astery. I n fact,
as F o u ca u lt and oth e rs h ave s h o w n , p r i s o n s a n d factories came
i n at a b o u t t h e sa m e t i m e, a n d t h e i r o p e rators c o n s c i o u s l y
b o r rowed f ro m e a c h oth e r's c o n t ro l tec h n i q u es . A w o r k e r i s a
p a rt-t i m e s l ave . T h e boss says w h e n to s h ow u p , w h e n to l eave
and w h at to do i n the meant i m e . He tel l s you how m u ch w o r k to
d o a n d h ow fast. H e i s f ree to carry h i s c o n t ro l to h u m i l i at i n g
ext re m es, reg u l ati n g , i f h e feels l i ke i t , t h e c l o t h es you wea r o r
h o w often y o u g o t o t h e b at h ro o m . W i t h a few excepti o n s h e can
fi re you for a n y reas o n , o r n o reas o n . H e has you s p i ed o n by
s n itches a n d s u pervisors, h e a m asses a d o ss i e r o n every
empl oyee. Tal k i n g back i s cal l e d " i n s u bo rd i n ati o n , " j u st as if a
worker is a n a u g hty c h i l d , a n d i t not o n l y g ets you f i red , i t
d i s q u a l i f i es you fo r u n e m pl o y m e n t co mpe nsat i o n . W i t h o ut
n ecessa r i l y e n d o rs i n g i t for t h e m e i t h er, i t i s n otewort h y t h at
c h i l d re n at h o m e a n d i n s c h o o l receive m u c h t h e s a m e
t reat m e n t , j u stified i n t h e i r c a s e by t h e i r s u p posed i m m at u r i ty .
W h at does t h i s s a y a b o u t t h e i r parents a n d tea c h e rs w h o w o r k ?
T h e d e m ea n i n g system of d o m i n at i o n I 've d escri bed r u l es
over h a l f t h e wak i n g h o u rs of a m aj o r i ty of wo m e n a n d t h e vast
m aj o rity of men for d ecades, for m ost of t h e i r l i fespa n s . Fo r
ce rta i n p u rposes it's n ot too m i s l ead i n g to ca l l o u r syste m
d e m oc racy o r cap i ta l i s m o r - bette r sti l l - i n d u stri al i s m , b u t its
real n a m es a re fact o ry fas c i s m and off i ce o l i g a rc h y . A n y b o d y
w h o says t h ese peo p l e a re "free" i s l y i n g o r stu p i d . Y o u a re w h a t
you d o . I f yo u d o b o r i n g , stu p i d m o noto n o u s work, c h a n ces a r e

21
you ' l l e n d u p bori n g , stu p i d a n d m o n ot o n o u s . W o r k i s a m u c h
b ette r exp l a n at i o n fo r t h e c ree p i n g c ret i n izat i o n a l l a ro u n d u s
t h a n eve n s u c h s i g n i f i c a n t m o ro n iz i n g m ec h a n i s m s a s t e l ev i s i o n
a n d ed u cat i o n . P e o p l e w h o a re reg i m e n ted a l l t h e i r l ives,
h a n d e d off to w o r k f ro m s c h o o l a n d b racketed by t h e f a m i l y i n
t h e b eg i n n i ng a n d t h e n u rs i n g h o m e at t h e e n d , are h a b i t u ated
to h ie rarchy a n d psyc h o l o g i c a l l y e n s l aved . T h e i r apti t u d e fo r
a u to n o my i s so atro p h i e d t h at t h e i r fea r of free d o m i s a m o n g
t h e i r few rati o n a l l y g ro u n ded p h o b i a s . T h e i r o be d i e n ce trai n i n g
at work carries ove r i n to t h e fam i l i es they start, t h u s
rep rod u c i n g t h e syste m i n m o re ways t h a n o n e , a n d i nto
p o l i t i c s , c u ltu re and everyt h i n g else. O n ce you d ra i n the vital ity
from peo p l e at wor k , t h ey ' l l l i ke l y s u b m i t to h i e ra r c h y a n d
expe rt i s e i n everyt h i n g . T h ey ' re u sed to i t .
We are so c l ose to t h e wo r l d of work t h at we can't see w h at it
d oes to u s . We h ave to re l y o n o u ts i d e o bservers from ot h e r
ti mes o r ot h e r c u lt ures to a p p re c i ate t h e extre m ity a n d t h e
pat h o l og y of o u r p rese n t pos i t i o n . T h e re w a s a t i m e i n our own
past when t h e " w o r k eth i c " wo u l d h ave been i n co m p re h e n s i b l e ,
a n d perhaps W e b e r w a s o n to s o m et h i n g w h e n h e t i e d its
a ppearan ce to a rel i g i o n , C a l v i n i s m , w h i c h i f it e m erged today
i n stead of fo u r c e n t u ries a g o wo u l d i m med i ately a n d
a pp rop r i ately be l a b e l ed a c u lt. B e t h at a s it may, we h ave o n l y
to d raw upon t h e w i s d o m o f a n t i q u ity t o p u t w o r k i n pe rspect ive.
The a n c i e nts saw work for w h at it i s , and t h e i r view p reva i l e d ,
t h e C a l v i n i st cran ks n otw i t h sta n d i n g , u nt i l overt h rown b y
i n d ustri a l i s m - b u t n ot before rece i v i n g t h e e n d o rs e m e n t of its
p rop h ets.

Let's p rete n d for a m o m e n t t h at work d oesn't t u rn peop l e i nto

stu l t i f i ed sub m i ss i ves. Let's p rete n d , in d ef i a n ce of a n y p l a u s i b l e
psyc h o l og y a n d t h e i d e o l o g y o f i t s boosters, t h at it h as n o effect
on the form at i o n of c h a racter. A n d l et's preten d t h at work i s n't
as b o r i n g a n d t i r i n g a n d h u m i l i ati n g as we a l l k n ow it real l y i s .
Even t h e n , w o r k wo u l d s till m a ke a m o c kery of a l l h u m a n i s t i c
a n d d e m ocrat i c asp i rat i o n s , j u st b e c a u s e it u s urps so m u c h of
o ur t i m e . Soc rates sa i d t h at m a n u a l l ab o re rs make bad f r i e n d s
a n d bad c i t iz e n s because t h ey h ave n o t i m e to fu l f i l l t h e
res pon s i b i l i t i es of fri e n d s h ip a n d c i t i z e n s h ip. H e w a s r i g h t .
Because of w o r k , n o matt e r w h at we d o we k e e p l oo k i n g a t o u r

22
watc h e s . T h e o n l y t h i n g " f ree" a b o ut s o-ca l l ed free t i m e i s t h at i t
d oesn't c o s t t h e b o s s anyth i n g . F ree t i m e i s m o s t l y d evoted to
g etti n g ready for w o r k , g o i n g to work, ret urn i n g from w o r k , a n d
recove r i n g from work. F ree t i m e i s a e up h e m i s m f o r t h e p ec u l i a r
way l a b o r as a factor o f p ro d u ct i o n n ot o n l y t r a n s p o rts itse l f at
its own ex pense to a n d f ro m t h e work p l ace b ut ass umes p ri m a ry
res po n s i b i l ity for its own m a i n te n a n c e a n d repai r. C o a l a n d steel
d o n 't d o t h at. Lathes and typewriters d o n 't d o t h at . B ut wo rke rs
d o. N o w o n d e r Edward G . R o b i n s o n i n o n e of h i s g a n gster
m ov i es exc l a i m ed , "Work i s for saps ! "
B o t h P l ato a n d X e n o p h o n att r i b ute to Socrates a n d o b v i o u s l y
s h a re w i t h h i m a n awa re n ess o f t h e destruct i ve effects o f w o r k
o n t h e w o r k e r as a c i t i z e n a n d as a h u m a n b e i n g . H e rod otus
i d e n t i f i ed contem pt for work as a n att r i b ute of t h e c l as s i c a l
G reeks a t t h e zen i t h of t h e i r c u l t u re . T o take o n l y o n e R o m a n
exam p l e, C i c e ro s a i d t h at " w h oever g i ves h i s l a b o r f o r m o n ey
se l l s h i mself a n d p u ts h i m s e l f i n t h e ra n k of s l aves . " H i s ca n d o r
i s n ow rare, b u t c o n te m p o rary p r i m i t i ve soc i et i es w h i c h w e are
wont to l oo k down upon h ave p ro v i d e d s p o kes m e n who h ave
e n l i g h ten ed Weste rn a n t h ro p o l o g i sts. The K a p a u k u of West
I r i a n , accord i n g to Pospos i l , h ave a c o n cept i o n of b a l a n ce in l i fe
and acco rd i n g l y work o n l y eve ry oth e r day, the d ay of rest
d es i g n ed "to reg a i n the l ost power and h e a l t h . " O u r ancesto rs ,
even a s l ate a s t h e e i g htee n t h c e n t u ry w h e n t h ey were f a r a l o n g
t h e path t o o u r p resent p red ica m e n t , a t l east were aware o f w h at
we h ave forg otte n , t h e u n d e rs i d e of i n d us t r i a l izati o n . T h e i r
re l i g i o us devot i o n to "St. M o n d ay" - th us esta b l i s h i n g a de
facto f i ve-day week 1 50-200 years before its l e g a l c o n secrati o n
- was t h e d es pa i r of t h e earl i est facto ry o w n e rs . T h ey took a
l o n g t i m e i n s u b m itti n g to t h e ty ra n n y of t h e bel l , p red ecesso r of
the t i m e c l o c k. I n fact it was n ecessary for a g e n erat i o n o r two to
re p l ace a d u l t m a l es w i t h w o m e n acc usto m e d to o bed i e n ce a n d
c h i l d re n w h o c o u l d be m o l ded t o f i t i n d u st r i a l needs. Even t h e
explo ited peasants of t h e ancien regime wrested s u bsta n t i a l
t i m e b a c k f r o m t h e i r l a n d l ords' w o r k . Accord i n g t o Lafa rg ue, a
fo u rt h of t h e F re n c h peasants' c a l e n d a r was d evoted to S u n d ays
and h o l i d ays, a n d C h ayanov's f i g u res fro m vi l l ag es in Czarist
R ussia - h a rd ly a p rog ress ive society - l i kewise s h ow a fo u rt h
o r f i fth o f peasants' d ays d evoted t o re pose. C o n t ro l l i n g for
p rod u ct i vity, we a re obviously fa r beh i n d t h ese backward

23
soc i et i es . T h e ex p l o ited m uzh iks wo u l d w o n d e r w h y a n y of u s
a r e w o rk i n g a t a l l . S o s h o u l d we.
To g rasp the f u l l e n o rm ity of o u r dete r i o rat i o n, h owever,
c o n s i d e r t h e earl i est c o n d i t i o n of h u ma n i ty, w i t h o u t g ove r n m e n t
o r property, w h e n w e w a n d e red as h u nte r-g at h e rers. H o b bes
s u rm ised t h at l i fe was t h e n nasty, b r u t i s h and s h o rt. O t h e rs
ass u m e t h at l i fe was a d espe rate u n re m i tt i n g stru g g l e fo r
s u bs i sten ce, a war waged ag a i n st a h a rs h N atu re w i t h d eath a n d
d i saste r awa i t i n g t h e u n l u c k y o r a n yo n e w h o was u n e q u a l to t h e
c h a l l e n g e of t h e st r u g g l e for existe n ce . Act u a l l y, t h at w a s a l l a
p roject i o n of fea rs for t h e c o l l apse of gove r n m e n t a u t h o rity over
c o m m u n i t i es u n accusto m ed to d o i n g w i t h o u t i t, l i ke t h e
E n g l a n d of H o b bes d u ri n g t h e C i v i l W a r . H o b bes' c o m patri ots
h ad a l ready e n c o u ntered a l t e r n at i ve f o r m s of s o c i ety w h i c h
i l l u st rated ot h e r ways o f l ife - i n N o rt h A m e r i ca, p a rt i c u l a rly ­
b u t a l read y th ese we re too rem ote fro m t h e i r expe r i e n ce to be
u n d e rstan d a b l e . (The l ower o rd e rs, c l os e r to t h e c o n d i t i o n of
the I n d i a n s, u n d e rstood it b ette r and often fo u n d i t attract ive.
T h ro u g h o u t t h e seve ntee n t h c e n t u ry, E n g l i s h sett l e rs d efected
to I n d i a n tri bes o r, captu red in war, refused to ret u r n . B u t t h e
I n d i a n s n o m o re d efected to wh ite sett l e m e n ts t h a n G e r m a n s
c l i m b t h e B e rl i n Wa l l f ro m t h e west . ) T h e " s u rv i va l o f t h e f i ttest"
ve rs i o n - the T h o mas H ux l e y ve rs i o n - of D a rw i n i s m was a
b etter acco u n t of eco n o m i c c o n d i t i o n s i n V i ct o r i a n E n g l a n d
t h a n i t was o f n at u ra l select i o n, a s t h e a n a rc h i st K ropotk i n
sh owed i n h i s b o o k Mutual A id, A Fac tor o f Evolutio n .
( K ro p otk i n was a sc i e n t i st - a geog ra p h e r - w h o 'd had a m p l e
i n vol u ntary o p p o rt u n ity f o r f i e l d wo rk wh i lst ex i l ed i n S i b e r i a : h e
k new w h at h e was tal k i n g a b o ut . ) L i ke m ost soc i a l a n d pol i t i c a l
theo ry, t h e sto ry H o b bes a n d h i s s uccesso rs to l d w a s rea l l y
u na c k n ow l e d g ed a u to b i og ra p h y .
T h e a n t h ropo l o g ist M a rs h a l l S a h l i n s, s u rveyi n g t h e d ata o n
c o n te m po ra ry h u n te r-g athere rs, ex p l oded t h e H o b bes i a n myth
in a n a rt i c l e e n t i t l ed "The O ri g i n a l Aff l u e n t S o c i ety. " T h ey wo r k
a lot l ess t h a n w e d o, a n d t h e i r w o r k i s h a rd t o d i sti n g u i s h f ro m
w h at w e reg a rd a s p l ay. S a h l i n s c o n c l u d e d t h at " h u nte rs a n d
gath ere rs wo rk l ess t h a n w e d o ; a n d, rat h e r t h a n a c o n t i n u o us
trava i l, t h e food q u est i s i nterm i tte n t, l e i s u re a b u n d a n t, a n d
t h e re i s a g reate r a m o u n t of s l ee p i n t h e dayt i m e pe r capita per
year t h a n in a n y oth e r co n d i t i o n of soc i ety. " T h ey wo rked a n

24
ave rage o f four h ou rs a d ay , assum i n g t h ey we re " w o r ki n g" at
a l l . T h ei r " la b o r," as it a p pe a rs t o us, w as s ki l l ed l a b o r w hic h
exercised t h ei r p h ysic a l a n d i nte l l ectua l c a p a cities; u n s ki l le d
l a b o r o n a n y l a rg e sca l e , a s Sa h lins says , i s i m p ossi b l e exce pt
u n d e r i n dust rialis m . T hus it satisfie d F ried ric h S c hi l l e r's
d efiniti o n of p l ay , t h e o n l y o cc asio n on w hi c h m a n realizes his
c o m p l ete hu m a nity b y givi n g ful l " p la y" to b ot h sides of his
twofol d n ature, t hi n kin g a n d fee li n g . As he put it: " T h e a ni m a l
works w h e n d e p rivatio n is t h e m ai ns p ri n g o f its a ctivity , a n d it
plays w h e n t h e ful l n ess of its st re n g t h is t his m ai ns p ri n g , w h e n
su pe ra bu n d a nt life is its o w n stimulus to a ctivity." ( A m od e r n
versi o n - dubious l y d e ve l o p m e nt a l - is A b ra h a m M as l ow's
counte r p ositi o n o f "deficie n c y" a n d " g rowt h" m otivatio n . ) P l a y
a n d freed o m a r e , a s rega rds p ro ductio n , coexte nsive . Eve n
M a rx , w h o b el o n gs (fo r a l l his g oo d i ntentions) i n t h e
p roductivist p a n t h e o n , o bs e rved t h at "th e real m of f reed o m
d oes n ot c o m m e n ce u nti l t h e point is p asse d w h e re l a b o r und e r
t h e co m pulsi o n o f n ecessity a n d exte r n a l uti lity is requi red ." H e
n ever c ou l d quite b ri n g himse l f t o ide ntify t his h a p py
circum st a n c e as w h at it is , t h e a b o liti o n of w o r k - it's rat h e r
a n o m a l ous , a ft e r a l l , to b e p ro-wo r k e r a n d a nti- w o rk - b ut w e
can .

T h e as pirati o n t o g o b a c k w a rds o r fo rwa rd s t o a life with out

w o r k is evid ent in eve ry se rious socia l o r cultura l hist o ry of p re­
i n dust ria l Euro p e , a m o n g t h e m M . D o r ot h y G eo rg e's Engla n d in
Transition a n d Pet e r Bu rke's Popular C ulture in Early Modern
Europe. A ls o p e rti n e nt is D a niel B e l l 's essay, " W o r k a n d I ts
Disco nte nts," t h e fi rst text, I b e lieve, t o refe r to t h e " revolt
a g ainst w o r k" i n s o m a n y w o rds a n d , h ad it b e e n u n d e rstoo d , a n
i m p o rtant c o rrectio n t o t h e c o m p l ac e n cy o r di n a ri l y associated
wit h t h e vo l u m e i n whic h it w as c o l l ected , The End of Ideology.
N eit h e r c ritics n o r c e l e b r ants h ave n oticed t h at B e l l 's e n d-of­
id e o l o g y t h esis sig n a l l e d n ot t h e e n d o f soci a l u n rest but t h e
b e gi n ni n g o f a n e w , u n c h a rted p h ase u n c o nst rai n e d a n d
u ninfo r m e d b y i de o l o g y . I t was Sey m ou r Lipset (in Political
Man), n ot B e l l , w h o a n n ou n ce d at the sa m e tim e t h at "th e
fu n d a m ental p ro b l e ms o f t h e I n dust ri a l R ev o l utio n h ave b e e n
s o l ved ," o n l y a few years befo re t h e p ost- o r m eta-i n dustria l
disco nte nts o f c o l leg e stud e nts d rove U pset f r o m UC B e rkel e y
to t h e re l ative ( a n d tem po ra ry ) t ra n qui l lity of H a rva rd .

25
 As Bell notes, Adam Smith in T h e Wealth of Nations, for all his
enthusiasm for the market and the division of labor, was more
alert to (and more honest about) the seamy side of work than
Ayn Rand or the Chicago economists or any of Smith's modern
epigones. As Smith observed: "The understandings of the
greater part of men are necessarily formed by their ordinary
employments. The man whose life is spent in performing a few
simple operations... has no occasion to exert his
understanding... He generally becomes as stupid and ignorant
as it is possible for a human creature to become." Here, in a few
blunt words, is my critique of work. Bell, writing in 1956, the
Golden Age of Eisenhower imbecility and American self­
satisfaction, identified the unorganized, unorganizable malaise
of the 1970's and since, the one no political tendency is able to
harness, the one identified in HEW's report Work in America, the
one which cannot be exploited and so is ignored. That problem
is the revolt against work. It does not figure in any text by any
laissez-faire economist - Milton Friedman, Murray Rothbard,
Richard Posner - because, in their terms, as they used to say
on Sta r Trek, "it does not compute."
If these objections, informed by the love of liberty, fail to
persuade humanists of a utilitarian or even paternalist turn,
there are others which they cannot disregard. Work is
hazardous to your health, to borrow a book title. In fact, work is
mass murder or genocide. Directly or indirectly, work will kill
most of the people who read these words. Between 14,000 and
25,000 workers are killed annually in this country on the job.
Over two million are disabled. Twenty to twenty-five million are
injured every year. And these figures are based on a very
conservative estimation of what constitutes a work-related
injury. Thus they don't count the half million cases of
occupational disease every year. I looked at one medical
textbook on occupational diseases which was 1,200 pages long.
Even this barely scratches the surface. The available statistics
count the obvious cases like the 100,000 miners who have black
lung disease, of whom 4,000 die every year, a much higher
fatality rate than for AIDS, for instance, which gets so much
media attention. This reflects the unvoiced assumption that
AIDS afflicts perverts who could control their depravity whereas
coal-mining is a sacrosanct activity beyond question. What the

26
statistics don't show is that tens of millions of people have their
lifespans shortened by work - which is all that homicide
means, after all. Consider the doctors who work themselves to
death in their SO's. Consider all the other workaholics.
Even if you aren't killed or crippled while actually working,
you very well might be while going to work, coming from work,
looking for work, or trying to forget about work. The vast
majority of victims of the automobile are either doing one of
these work-obligatory activities or else fall afoul of those who do
them. To this augmented body-count must be added the victims
of auto-industrial pollution and work-induced alcoholism and
drug addiction. Both cancer and heart disease are modern
aff l i ct i o n s n or m a l l y t raceab l e, d i r ectl y o r i n d i rect l y , to wor k .
Work, then, institutionalizes homicide as a way o f life. People
think the Cambodians were crazy for exterminating themselves,
but are we any different? The Pol Pot regime at least had a
vision, however blurred, of an egalitarian society. We kill people
in the six-figure range'(at least) in order to sell Big Macs and
Cadillacs to the survivors. Our forty or fifty thousand annual
highway fatalities are victims, not martyrs. They died for nothing
- or rather, they died for work. But work is nothing to die for.
Bad news for liberals: regulatory tinkering is useless in this
life-and-death context. The federal Occupational Safety and
Health Administration was designed to police the core part of
the problem, workplace safety. Even before Reagan and the
Supreme Court stifled it, OSHA was a farce. At previous and (by
current standards) generous Carter-era funding levels, a
workplace could expect a random visit from an OSHA inspector
once every 46 years.
State control of the economy is no solution. Work is, if
anything, more dangerous in the state-socialist countries than it
is here. Thousands of Russian workers were killed or injured
building the Moscow subway. Stories reverberate about
covered-up Soviet nuclear disasters which make Times Beach
and Three-Mile Island look like elementary-school air-raid drills.
On the other hand, deregulation, currently fashionable, won't
help and will probably hurt. From a health and safety
standpoint, among others, work was at its worst in the days
when the economy most closely approximated laissez-faire.

27
Historians like Eugene Genovese have argued persuasively that
- as antebellum slavery apologists insisted - factory wage­
workers in the N orthern American states and in Europe were
worse off than Southern plantation slaves. No rearrangement of
relations among bureaucrats and businessmen seems to make
much difference at the point of production. Serious
enforcement of even the rather vague standards enforceable in
theory by OSHA would probably bring the economy to a
standstill. The enforcers apparently appreciate this, since they
don't even try to crack down on most malefactors.
What I've said so far ought not to be controversial. Many
workers are fed up with work. There are high and rising rates of
absenteeism, turnover, employee theft and sabotage, wildcat
strikes, a l") d overall goldbricking on the job. There may be some
movement toward a conscious and not just visceral rej ection of
work. And yet the prevalent feeling, universal among bosses and
their agents and also widespread among workers themselves is
that work itself is inevitable and necessary.
I disagree. It is now possible to abolish work and replace it,
insofar as it serves useful purposes, with a multitude of new
kinds of free activities. To abolish work requires going at it from
two directions, quantitative and qualitative. O n the one hand, on
the quantitative side, we have to cut down massively on the
amount of work being done. At present most work is useless or
worse and we should simply get rid of it. On the other hand -
and I think this the crux of the matter and the revolutionary new
departure - we have to take what useful work remains and
transform it into a pleasing variety of game-like and craft-like
pastimes, indistinguishable from other pleasurable pastimes,
except that they happen to yield useful end-products. Surely
that shouldn't make them less enticing to do. Then all the
artificial barriers of power and property could come down.
C reation cou l d become recreation. And we could all stop being
afraid of each other.
I don't suggest that most work is salvageable in this way. But
then most work isn't worth trying to save. Only a small and
diminishing fraction of work serves any useful purpose
independent of the defense and reproduction of the work­
system and its political and legal appendages. Twenty years
ago, Paul and Percival Goodman estimated that just five percent

28
of the work then being done - presumably the figure, if
accurate, is lower now - would satisfy our minimal needs for
food, clothing, and shelter. Theirs was only an educated guess
but the main point is quite clear: directly or indirectly, most work
serves the unproductive purposes of commerce or social
control. Right off the bat we can liberate tens of millions of
salesmen, soldiers, managers, cops, stockbrokers, clergymen,
bankers, lawyers, teachers, landlords, security guards, ad-men
and everyone who works for them. There is a snowball effect
since every time you idle some bigshot you liberate his flunkeys
and underlings also. Thus the economy implodes.
Forty percent of the workforce are white-collar workers, most
of whom have some of the most tedious and idiotic jobs ever
concocted . Entire industries, insurance and banking and real
estate for instance, consist of nothing but useless paper­
shuffling. It is no accident that the "tertiary sector," the service
sector, is growing while the "secondary sector" (industry) .
stagnates and the "primary sector" (agriculture) nearly
disap pears. Because work is unnecessary except to those
whose power it secures, workers are shifted from relatively
useful to relatively useless occupations as a measure to assure
public order. Anything is better than nothing. That's why you
can't go home just because you finish early. They want your
time, enough of it to make you theirs, even if th�y have no use
for most of it. Otherwise why hasn't the average work week gone
down by more than a few minutes in the last fifty years?
N ext we can take a meat-cleaver to production work itself. N o
more war production, nuclear power, junk food, feminine
hygiene deodorant - and above all, no more auto industry to
speak of. An occasional Stanley Steamer or Mode i-T might be
all right, but the auto-eroticism on which such pestholes as
Detroit and Los Angeles de pend is out of the question. Already,
without even trying, we've virtually solved the energy crisis, the
environmental crisis and assorted other insoluble social
problems.
Finally, we must do away with far and away the largest
occupation, the one with the longest hours, the lowest pay and
some of the most tedious tasks around. I refer to h o use wives
doing housework and child-rearing. By abolishing wage-labor
and achieving full unemployment we undermine the sexual

29
division of labor. The nuclear family as we know it is an
inevitable adaptation to the division of labor imposed by modern
wage-work. Like it or not, as things have been for the last
century or two it is economically rational for the man to bring
home the bacon, for the woman to do the shitwork to provide
him with a haven in a heartless world, and for the children to be
marched off to youth concentration camps called "schools,"
primarily to keep them out of Mom's hair but still under control,
but incidentally to acquire the habits of obedience and
punctuality so necessary for workers. If you would be rid of
patriarchy, get rid of the nuclear family whose unpaid "shadow
work," as Ivan lllich says, makes possible the work-system that
makes it necessary. Bound up with this no-nukes strategy is the
abolition of childhood and the closing of the schools. There are
more full-time students than full-time workers in this country.
We need children as teachers, not students. They have a lot to
contribute to the ludic revolution because they're better at
playing than grown-ups are. Adults and children are not
identical but they will become equal through interdependence.
Only play can bridge the generation gap.
I haven't as yet even mentioned the possibility of cutting way
down on the little work that remains by automating and
cybernizing it. All the scientists and engineers and technicians
freed from bothering with war research and planned
obsolescence should have a good time devising means to
eliminate fatigue and tedium and danger from activities like
mining. U ndoubtedly they'll find other projects to amuse
themselves with. Perhaps they'll set up world-wide all-inclusive
multi-media communications systems or found space colonies.
Perhaps. I myself am no gadget freak. I wouldn't care to live in a
pushbutton paradise. I don't want robot slaves to do everything;
I want to do things myself. There is, I think, a place for labor­
sav ing technology, but a modest place. The historical and pre­
historical record is not encouraging. When productive
technology went from hunting-gathering to agriculture and on
to industry, work increased while skills and self-determination
diminished. The further evolution of industrialism has
accentuated what Harry Braverman called the degradation of
work. Intelligent observers have always been aware of this. John
Stuart Mill wrote that all the labor-saving inventions ever

30
devised haven't saved a moment's l abor. Karl Marx wrote that "it
would be possibl e to write a history of the inventions, made
since 1830, for the sole purpose of supplying capital with
weapons against the revolts of the working class." The
enthusiastic technophil es - Saint-Simon, Comte, Lenin, B. F.
Skinner - have a lways been unabashed authoritarians also;
which is to say, technocrats. We should be more than sceptical
about the promises of the computer mystics. They work l ike
d ogs; chances are, if they have their way, so wil l the rest of us.
But if they have any particularized contributions more readil y
subordinated to human purposes than the run of high tech, l et's
give them a hearing.
What I rea l l y want to see is work turned into play. A first step is
to discard the notions of a "job" and an "occupation." Even
activities that already have some ludic content lose most of it by
being reduced to jobs which certain peop l e, and only those
peopl e are forced to do to the exclusion of al l e l se. Is it not odd
that farm workers toil painful ly in the fields whil e their air­
conditioned masters go home every weekend and putter about
in their gardens? Under a system of permanent revelry, we wil l
witness the Golden Age of the dil ettante which wil l put the
R enaissance to shame. There won't be any more jobs, just
things to do and peop l e to do them.
The secret of turning work into play, as Charl es Fourier
demonstrated, is to arrange useful activities to take advantag e
of whatever it is that various people at various times in fact enjoy
doing. To make it possibl e for some peop l e to do the things they
could enjoy it wil l be enough just to eradicate the irrationalities
and distortions which afflict these activities when they are
reduced to work. I, for instance, would enjoy doing some (not
too much) teaching, but I don't want coerced students and I
don't care to suck up to pathetic pedants for tenure.
Second, there are some things that peop l e like to do from time
to time, but not for too long, and certainly not al l the time. You
might enjoy baby-sitting for a few hours in order to share the
company of kids, but not as much as their parents do. The
parents meanwhile, profoundly appreciate the time to
themse l ves that you free up for them, a lthough they'd g et fretful
if parted from their progeny for too l ong. These differences
among individual s are what make a l ife of free play possibl e. The

31
same princip i a applies to many other areas of activity, especially
the primal ones. Thu s many people enjoy cooking when they
can practice it seriou sly at their leisure, but not when they're j ust
fuelling up human bodies for work.

Third - other things being equal - some things that are

u nsatisfying if done by yourself or in u npleasant surroundings
or at the orders of an overlord are enjoyable, at least for awhile,
if these circu mstances are changed. This is probably true, to
some extent, of all work. People deploy their otherwise wasted
ingenuity to make a game of the least inviting drudge-jobs as
best they can. Activities t!lat appeal to some people don't always
appeal to all others, but everyone at least potentially has a
variety of interests and an interest in variety. As the saying goes,
"anything once. " Fourier was the master at speculating how
aberrant and perverse penchants could be put to use in post­
civilized society, what he called Harmony. He thought the
Emperor N ero wou ld have turned out all right if as a child he
could have indulged his taste for bloodshed by working in a
slaughterhouse. Small children who notoriou sly relish
wallowing in filth could be organized in " Little Hordes" to clean
toilets and empty the garbage, with medals awarded to the
outstanding. I am not arguing for these precise examples but for
the underlying principle, which I think makes perfect sense as
one dimension of an overall revolutionary transformation. Bear
in mind that we don't have to take today's work j ust as we find it
and match it up with the proper people, some of whom would
have to be perverse indeed. If technology has a role in all this it
is less to automate work out of existence than to open up new
realms for refcreation. To some extent we may want to return to
handicrafts, which William Morris considered a probable and
desirable upshot of communist revolution. Art would be taken
back from the snobs and collectors, abolished as a specialized
department catering to an elite audience, and its q ualities of
beauty and creation restored to integral life from which they
were stolen by work. It's a sobering thought that the Grecian
u rns we write odes about and showcase in mu seums were u sed
in their own time to store olive oil. I doubt our everyday artifacts
will fare as well in the future, if there is one. The point is that
there's no such thing as progress in the world of work; if
anything it's j ust the opposite. We shouldn't hesitate to pilfer the

32
past for what it has to offer, the ancients l ose nothing yet we are
enriched .
The reinvention o f d aily life means marching off the edge of
our maps. The re is, it is t rue, more sugg estive s peculation than
most peo p l e suspect. Besides Fourier and M o rris - and even a
hint, he re and the re, in M a rx - there a re the w ritings of
K ropotkin, the syndicalists Pataud and Poug et, ana rcho­
communists o l d ( B e rkman) and new ( Bookchin) . The Goodman
brothe rs' Comm unitas is exem p l a ry for i l lustrating what fo rms
fo l low from given functions ( purposes) , and there is somethi n g
to be g leaned from the often hazy hera l d s of
a l ternative/appropriate/inter mediate/convivial technol ogy, l ike
Schumacher and especia l l y l l l ich, once you d isconnect their fog
machines . The situationists - as re p resented by Vaneigem's
Re volution of Everyday Life and in the Situa tionist In terna tional
A n thology - are so ruth l essly l ucid as to be exhi l arating, even if
they never did quite squa re the endo rsement of the rul e of the
wo rkers' council s with the abol ition of work. Bette r their
incong ruity, though, than any extant version of l eftism, whose
devotees l o ok to be the l ast champions of wo rk, fo r if there were
no wo rk there would be no wo rkers, and without wo rkers, who
woul d the l eft have to o rganize?
So the abo litio nists would be large l y on their own. N o one can
say what would resul t f rom unl eashing the c reative powe r
stul tified by work. Anything can hap pen. The tiresome debate r's
p roblem of freedom vs. necessity, with its theol ogical overtones,
reso lves itself practical ly once the p roduction of use-va lues is
coextensive with the consumption of delightful p l ay-activity.
Life wil l become a game, or rathe r many g ames, but not - as
it is now - a ze ro/sum g ame. An o ptimal sexua l encounter is the
paradigm of p roductive p l ay. The participants potentiate each
othe r's p l easures, nobody keeps sco re, and everybody wins .
The mo re you give, the more you get. I n the l udic l ife, the best of
sex wil l d iffuse into the better part of daily l ife . Gene ra lized p lay
l eads to the libidinization of life. Sex, in turn, can become l ess
u rgent and d esperate, more p l ayfu l . I f we p l ay our cards right,
we can a l l get more out of l ife than we put into it; but only if we
p lay for kee ps.
No one shoul d eve r work. Wo rke rs of the wor l d . . . relax!

33
 II.
THE LAST INTERNATIONAL
(1977 .. 1983)
My p o l i t i c a l d e b u t on the l u n a t i c fri n g e took the form of a
poste r p roj ect c a l led " T h e Last I nternat i o na l . " I neve r l i ked t h e
n a m e a n d i nadverte n t l y a p p ro p r i ated i t from a f o r m e r m e m b e r
of For O u rse l ves (see " P reface to The Right to B e Greedy"
u n d e r I V bel ow) - I met h i m at my G o r i l l a G rotto eve n t , act u a l l y
- w h o , h oweve r, n eve r a d o pted i t fo r h i m s e l f . I s o m et i m e s u se d
ot h e r ru b rics, such as t h ose d e p l oyed below in
'
" De c l ass e( f i eds) . " M y m o d e l s we re o n e- o r two-p e rs o n poster
p roj ects u s i n g o rg a n izat i o n a l pse u d o n y m s l i ke U ps h ot in San
F ra n c isco ( J o h n and P a u l a Z e rza n ) and A u r o ra in M a d i s o n
( Scott P o l a r B e a r a n d B o b B r u baker) . M y o p i n i o n s refl e cted
s i t u at i o n i st a n d , to a l esser exte n t , a n a rc h i st i nf l u e n ce as
ref racted by th ese g ro u p l ets and by Detro i t 's Fifth Esta te . M y
p u rpose was t o bypass t h e med i a , even t h e " a l te r n ative" o n e s ,
w i t h exp ress i o n un m ed i ated by ed i tors, by b e i n g fo r sa l e , o r i n
a n y o t h e r way, to vent m y v i ews i n j u st t h e way I wa n te d t o ,
po l i te n ess a n d p o p u l a rity be d a m n e d . I 'd bee n a N e w Left i st ,
i n c rec s i n g l y restive u nd e r t h e ro u t i n i s m a n d r i g h te o u s n ess o f
t h e N e·w Left as i t oss i f i ed i n t h e 7 0 ' s , a n d i t w a s exh i l a rat i ng to
b reak free. I n t h e beg i n n i n g m y own sta n d p o i n t was sti l l u lt ra­
l efti st - I was i n terested in co u nc i l co m m u n i s m , Processed
World's d o g m a (see " C i rc l e-A Deceit" u n d e r i l l b e l ow) - b u t
t h e posters were d es i g n ed l y destructive, n ot c o n st r u ctive.
" R e l i g i o n as Ba n a l ity," the o n l y re p resentat i ve of t h e U 's
o ri g i n s i n A n n Arbor, i s i n pa rt d e r i ve d f r o m a n a n o n y m o u s
poster I c i rc u l ated i n 1 976 a t G e o rgetown law sc h o o l , a J es u it
i n stitut i o n , w h e n I was a d i s g r u n t l e d stu d e n t t h e re . L l poste rs
are u n d e rrepresented i n t h i s co l l ect i o n because m uc h of t h e i r
i n terest i s as v i s u a l as i t i s verba l , a n d i n t h i s f o r m at t h e b u i lt- i n
b i as i s toward text . ( N ot t h at I ' m a ta l e n ted g ra p h i c a rt i st - n o
way! - b u t I d i d i n de p e n d e n t l y d i scover a n d c l u m s i l y e m p l o y
s o m e of t h e c o l l ag e tec h n i q u es w h i c h t h e p u n ks h ave s i n c e
m a d e co m m o n p l ace. ) B ut t h ey've been p i l fered fo r s o m e of t h e
o t h e r texts i n c l u d ed here.

35
 L l posters h ave been prod u ced over t h e years i n , I 'd g u ess, t h e
l o w e n d of f i ve f i g ures ( m ore t h a n 1 0, 000, b u t c l oser to t h at t h a n
to 1 00 , 000) , i n c l u d i n g repr i nts by G erry R e i t h i n Wyo m i n g a n d a
few h u n dred S p a n i s h - l a n g u a g e vers i o n s of " R e l i g i o n as
B a n a l i ty" w h i c h were posted i n San Fra n c i sco's H i s pa n i c s l u m s ,
w h ere I l i ved , very caut i o u s l y . T h ey've b e e n p u b l i s h ed i n four
c o u ntries, and w i l l s h ort l y a p p ear in a f i fth ( Y u goslavia) . T h e
iro n y i s t h at a proj ect w h i c h i nte n ded t o avo i d t h e m ed i a h as
e n d ed u p f u e l l i n g s o m e of t h e m .
A l l t h ese texts org i n ated as o n e-page posters except t h e l ast
o n e , " F i g h t i n g Word s , " w h i c h a p peared as a f o l d er
( c l a n desti n e l y typeset o n Processed World's eq u i p me n t ) . W h e n
I m oved to Berkeley fro m Sa n Fra n c i sc o i n fa l l 1 982 1
e n c o u n tered mass i ve j ad ed i n d iffere n ce i n a town th at pri d e s
itself o n its p o l i t i c izat i o n b u t i s , i n f a c t , paroc h i al a n d pass ive.
A n d so t h e poster project faded o u t . W h i c h i s all r i g ht . The tr i c k
i s , w i t h o u t bei n g a q u itter , t o k n o w w h e n to q u i t .

36
 RELIGION AS BANALITY...

"Every thing that is doddering, squin t-eyed, infamous,

sullying and grotesq ue is contained for me in this
single word: G OD "
-A ndre Breton

. . . DIVINITY AS TYRANNY

"If god really existed, i t would b e necessary to abolish

Him"
-Michael Bakunin

R E L I G I O N I S D E C E I T F U L , D E PR AV E D A N D A BS U R D - b u t
d o n 't u n d e rest i m ate i t . T h e re's a reaso n t h i s decrepit rel i c of
h u m a n ity's i nfancy sti l l ad o r n s c l ass soc i ety. " T h e powe rs t h at
be a re orda i n ed of G o d , " says St. Pa u l . N ot q u ite. G od is
ordained by the po wers that be. H is o m n i poten c e exp resses o u r
i m pote n ce.

BA B B L E A B O U T "T H E WAG ES OF S I N " s e rves t o cover up the

sin of wages. We want r i g hts, not r ites - sex, n ot sects . O n l y
E ros a n d E r i s be l o n g i n o u r p a nt h e o n . S u re l y t h e N azare n e
n e c ro p h i le h a s h a d h is reve n g e by n ow . R e m e m ber, pai n i s j ust
G o d ' s way of h u rt i n g you .

THE CHURCH (A N Y CHURCH) IS CA P I TA L ' S

C O N S E C R AT E D C O P . Exa m p l es : Christianity ( w h i c h i s n e i t h e r
cat h o l i c n o r p rotestan t ) ; Judaism ( read i n g t h e P ro p h ets a n d
ra k i n g i n t h e p rofits) ; Islam ( w h i c h m e a n s "s u b m i s s i o n " ) - p l u s
a l l farc i ca l l y fas h i o n a b l e O r i ental myst i c i s m s p u s h e d b y g reedy
g u ru s with l i ce in t h e i r beard s .

37
F R O M I RA N TO I R E LA N D , f ro m M a d r i d to M i a m i , from t h e West
B a n k to W est V i rg i n i a the fa i t hf u l f u l f i l l t h e i r f u n ct i o n ,
s u p p ress i n g s u bj ectivity a n d sex u a l ity i n co n n i va n c e w i t h t h e i r
ete r n a l a l l y , t h e State. " P r i s o n s a re b u i l t w i t h sto nes of Law,
b rot h e l s with b r i c k s of R e l i g i o n " ( B l a ke) .

AS F O R " G O D , " s u ff i c e to say t h at abso l ute power corru pts

abso l utely. " G o d h as s u ff i c i e n t l y reve a l ed H i s t r u e c h a racter by
c o m b i n i n g the g e n ital o r g a n with the u r i n a ry t ract" ( B recht) . A
p e rs o n w i t h o u t G od i s l i k e a f i s h w i t h o u t a b i cy c l e . B e
( d i abo) l o g i c a l . . . c u rb yo u r d o g m a. Revo l u t i o n , not reve l at i o n !
Be l i ef i n G od i s self- m a n ag e d m uti lati o n . W h y n ot d e n y G o d a n d
aff i rm yo urself?

GET THEE BEHIND ME, G OD I

( 1 976 , 1 977)

38
THE BALLAD O F BRENDA SPENC ER

M o n day m o rn i n g , j u st a n o t h e r day
D o i n g eve ryt h i n g t h e teac h e rs say
B re n d a's t i red of d o i n g w h at s h e's t o l d
T i red of bei n g yo u n g a n d fee l i n g o l d
B r e n d a S p e n c e r h a s n 't l ost h e r p r i d e
S h e g ets off o n pedagog i c i de !

Chorus:

H ear w h at B re n da's got to say

" S n i p i n g l i vens up m y day.
I d o n 't l i ke M o n d ays a n yway! "

B re n da's t i red of fo l l owi n g t h e r u les

T i red of s u ck i n g up to evi l fools
L i tt l e d i d t h e g row n - u ps rea l ize
B re n da's g o n n a cut t h e m d own to s ize!
R at h e r than beh ave h e rs e l f today
B re n d a b l ew the p ri n c i pa l away!

39
 Chorus

S i x l o n g h o u rs , h a l f a d ay
B re n d a h e l d t h e p i g s at bay
Wan n a k n ow the reas o n why?
B re n d a ' d rat h e r k i l l t h a n d i e

Chorus

A l l t h e expe rts say t h at B re n da's s i c k

T h ey g et p a i d to p u l l t h at d i rty t r i c k
Teac h ers, d o n 't tel l B re n d a w h at to d o
S h e k n ows h ow to d e a l w i t h sc u m l i ke you
Ah! t h e g l ad n ess, sad n ess, mad n ess, f u n
G row i ng from t h e barrel o f h e r g u n !

Chorus

M o n d ay m o rn i n g , ju st a n ot h e r day
D o i n g eve ryt h i n g the teac h e rs say
B re n da's t i red of d o i n g w h at she's t o l d
T i red of bei n g yo u n g a n d fee l i n g o l d
B re n d a S p e n c e r h a s n ' t l ost h e r p r i d e
S h e g ets off o n pedagog i c i de !

(1979)

40
 THESES O N
G R OUCHO MARXISM

1
G ro u c h o M arxi s m , t h e t h e o ry of c o m ed i c revo l u t i o n i s m u c h
m o re t h a n a b l u ep ri n t fo r c rass stru g g l e : l i ke a red l i g ht i n a
w i nd o w, it i l l u m i nates h u man ity's inevita ble destin y, t h e
declasse s oc i ety. G - M a rx i s m i s the t h e o ry of permanent re velry.
( Down boy! T h e re , t h at's a g ood d o g m a . )

T h e exa m p l e of t h e M a rx B rothers t h e m se l ves s h ows t h e u n ity

of M a rx i st t h e o ry and p ract i c e (for i n sta n ce, w h e n G ro u c h o
i n s u l ts somebody w h i le H a rpo p i c ks h i s poc ket) . M o reover,
M a rx i s m i s d i a lect i c a l ( i s n 't C h i c o t h e c l ass i c d i a lect
comed i a n ? ) . C o m e d i a n s who fai l to s y n t h es i ze t h e o ry a n d
p ractice ( t o say n ot h i ng o f t h ose w h o fa i l t o s i n at a l l ) a re u n ­
M a rx i st. S u bseq u e n t c o m e d i a n s , fai l i n g to g rasp t h at separat i o n
i s " t h e d i screte c h a r m o f t h e b o u rg e o i s i e , " h ave l a psed i nt o
m e re p ratfa l l s o n t h e o n e h a n d , a n d m e re p ratt l e o n t h e other.

Because G - M a rx i s m i s p ract i ca l , i ts ac h i eve m e nts c a n n eve r

be red u ced to m e re h u m o r, enterta i n m e n t , o r even "art." ( T h e
aest h etes, after a l l , a re l ess i n terested i n t h e a p p rec i at i o n o f a rt
t h a n i n a rt t h at a p p rec i ates . ) After a g e n u i ne M a rx i st sees a M arx
B rothers m o v i e , he te l l s h i mself: " If yo u t h i n k t h a t was f u n n y ,
take a l o o k at yo u r l ife! "

4
C o n te m p o ra ry G - M a rx i sts m u st reso l u tely d e n o u n ce t h e
i m i tative, vu l g a r " M arx i s m " o f t h e T h ree Stooges, M o nty Pyt h o n ,

41
a n d B u g s B u n n y . I nstead of v u l g a r M a rx i s m , we m u st retu rn to
a u t h e n t i c Marxis t vulgarity. Rect u m f i c at i o n i s l i kewise in o r d e r
fo r t h ose d e l u d e d co m rades w h o t h i n k " t h e c o r rect l i n e " i s w h at
t h e cop m a kes t h e m wal k w h e n h e p u l l s t h e m ove r.

C lass-con s c i o u s M a rx i sts ( t h at i s , M a rx i sts w h o a re c o n sc i o u s

t h at t h ey h ave n o c l ass) m u st s p u rn t h e a n e m i c , t re n d y ,
n a rc i ss i s t i c " c o m edy" of c o m e d i c rev i s i o n i sts l i ke W o o d y A l l e n
a n d J u les Fei ffer. A l ready t h e co m e d i c revo l u t i o n h as
s u pe rseded m e re n e u ro s i s - it's l u d i c b u t n ot l ud i c ro u s ,
d i scri m i n at i n g b u t n ot d i s c ri m i n ato ry , m i l itant b u t n ot m i l itary ,
a n d adve n t u rous b u t not adve n t u r i st. M a rx i sts rea l ize t h at today
you h ave to look i nto a fun house m i r ro r to see the way y o u rea l l y
a re .

A l th o u g h n ot e n t i re l y l ac k i n g i n g l i m m e rs of M a rx i st i ns i g h t ,
soci a l i st ( s u r) real i s m m ust be d i sti n g u i s h e d from G - M a rx i s m . I t
i s t r u e t h at S a l vad o r Da l i o n c e g ave H a r p o a h a r p m a d e o u t of
barbed w i re; h o wever, t h e re i s no evi d e n ce t h at Harpo eve r
p l ayed i t .

A bove al l , i t i s essent i a l to re n o u n ce a n d rev i l e a l l co m ed i c

secta r i a n i s m s u c h a s t h at of t h e eq u i n e T rots . A s i s we l l- k n o w n ,
G ro u c h o repeated l y proposed s e x b u t o p posed sects . F o r
G ro u c h o , t h e n , t h e re w a s a d i ffe rence between bei n g a T r o t a n d
b e i n g h ot to trot. F u rt h e r , t h e Trot s lo g a n "Wag es f o r
H o rsewo rk" s m acks of refo r m , not reve l ry. T rot effo rts to c l a i m
A Day at the Races a n d Horsefeathers for t h e i r t e n d e n c y m ust
b e i n d i g n a n t l y rej ected ; i n t r u t h , Na tional Velvet i s m o re t h e i r
speed.

42
 8

T h e b u rn i n g i s s u e c o n f ro n t i n g G - M a rxi sts today i s the party

q uestion , w h i c h - n a i ve , red u ct i o n i st " M a rx i sts" to t h e c o n t ra ry
- i s m o re t h a n j u st " W h y was n 't I i nv i te d ? " T h at n ever sto pped
G ro u c h o ! M a rx i sts n eed t h e i r own d i sci p l i n ed van g u a rd p a rty,
s i nce t h ey ' re ra re l y we l c o m e at a n y b o d y e l se's.

G u i ded by t h e M a rx i st lead e r-d og m as of misbeha viorism a n d

hys terical ma terialism, i nevita b l y t h e m asses w i l l e m b race, n ot
o n ly G - M a rx i s m , b u t a l so eac h other.

10

G ro u c h o M a rx i s m , t h e n , i s t h e tour de farce of c o m e d y . As
H a rpo is re l i a b l y rep o rted to h ave sai d :

I n oth e r words, c o m e d y i s r i otous o r i t i s noth i n g ! S o m u c h to

do, so many t o d o i t to! On yo u r M a rx , get set - g o !

BO R E D A G A I N ? W h y n ot ratt l e yo u r cage? I p ro pose a d i a l o g o f

t h e d i saffected , a c o n s p i racy o f t h e e q u a l s , a p o l i t i cs o f
p l e as u re . O u rs i s t h e an omie p o wer o f negative t h i n k i n g a n d
c o rros i ve l a u g h te r . T h e u n ru l y a m o n g st t h e i n sti t u t i o n a l i zed
h ave o n l y t h e m s e l ves - a n d possi b l y eac h o t h e r. Let's confer.
T h e c h o i ce i s sed i t i o n or sedati o n . A n y n u m b e r can p l a y .
( 1 979)

43
 G ET CLEAR!

(ASS)HOLISM

Recent st u d i es s u g g est t h at c o n s c i o u s n ess i s carc i n o g e n i c .

Afte r a s u rvey o f t h e et h i cs o f e n t ro py , t h e fol l ow i n g t o p i cs
receive term i n a l treat m e n t : ( 1) Dyi n g as a p rocess of perso n a l
g rowt h ; ( 2 ) C ha r n e l k n ow l e d g e ; ( 3 ) T h a n atot h e rapy ( w i t h
e m p h a s i s o n Ad o lf i n g a n d "term i n a l sc ream " t h e ra py) ; (4) A u to­
necroph i l i a f o r t h e M e G e n e rati o n . M e ntor: Rev. J i m J o nes,
Post h u m o u s P rof. of T h a n ato l og y .

WHO L IS TIC WEA L TH

T h i s c o u rse has h e l ped h u n d reds of d o ctors, l awyers a n d
o t h e r parasites t o feel o k ay a b o u t be i n g o bsce n e l y r i c h . M at e r i a l
t h i ngs a re b u t Maya ( i l l us i o n ) -sti l l , t h ey a re you r reward f o r
=

vi rt u e i n a p rev i o u s l ife. l e a r n to exp l o i t yo u r i n n e r r i c h es w h i l e

h o l d i n g o n to yo u r o u t e r o n e s . D o n 't s h a re t h e wea l t h , s h a re t h e
expe r i e n c e ! ( T u i t i o n i s tax-ded u ct i b l e . )

BE YOND VEG E TA RIA NISM: NE W PA THS IN PRI VA TIO N

G ave u p m eat b u t sti l l feel g u i lty? S o yo u s h o u l d ! S i n ce y o u
a r e w h at y o u eat, eve n t u a l l y every vegetar i a n t u r n s can n i ba l .
T h i s c o u rse i ntrodu ces y o u t o i na n i m ate eat i n g . Y o u too can
s u c k rocks a n d l e a r n to l i ke i t ! T h e c o u rse i s a p re re q u i s ite to
A N A E R O B I C STAS I S ( " G ood health t h ro u g h h y povent i l at i o n " ) ,
w h i c h ex p l a i n s h o w to e k e o u t a m is e ra b l e existen ce w i t h o u t
i m m o ra l exp l o itat i o n o f t h e at m os p h e re.

NE W A G E POL I TI CS
Recent deve l o p me n ts i n decentra l i zed deg rad at i o n a n d
a p p ro p r i ate tec h n o c racy. Fac i l itator a n d Z e n d e m a g og u e J er ry
B rown w i l l d e m o n st rate t h e feas i bi l ity of h a rness i n g p o l i t i c i a n s
a s a sou rce o f w i n d power. A M a r i n C o r pse rec r u i te r w i l l a p pe a r

45
o n b e h a l f of t h e B a l o ney A l l i a n ce to e n l i st n o- n u kes n a rcs a n d
pacifist p o l ice. O t h e rs t o be a n n o u n ced after secu rity
p recau t i o n s a re f i n a l ized.

In the Flow

TH E A D D L E D A G E O F A Q U A R I U S I S O V E R . W i s h i n g away t h e
h o l i st i c h o rror of everyday l i fe d id n 't w o r k . W e we re s u c ke rs t o
b u y b a c k parod ies of o u r d reams of total transfi g u rat i o n f ro m
h o l istic h u ckste rs , c o n s c i o u s n ess c o n - m e n a n d awaren ess
e nt re p r e n e u rs. T h e i r "alternat i ve l i fe-sty l es" o n l y offe r less of
more o f the same.

T H E R E'S N O TH I N G N EW about a N ew Age of myst i c i s m ,

m asoc h i s m a n d m o n ey . " W e o u g ht n ot t o act a n d speak as
t h o u g h we we re asleep" ( H erac l i t u s) . T h e ast ro l o g e rs h ave o n l y
p re d i cted t h e f u t u re; t h e p o i n t i s t o c reate i t . Paradise is
possible . D o n 't b u rn o u t , d o n 't sel l o u t , break o u t . W h y wa l low i n
escap i s m w h e n we can really escape?

(1979)

46
 BECAUSE OF LAWS

(For Jim Wheat)

Because of la ws i t i s i l l e g a l -
To acq u i t yo u rs e l f w i t h c o n v i ct i o n ;
T o se l l yo u rself s h o rt f o r t o o l o n g ;
T o f i n i s h g o i n g d ow n o n a n u psta rt;
To capital ize on c o m m u n i s m ;
T o p u l l my l e g o n t h e ot h e r h a n d ;
To h ave l a n d l o rd s re nt;
To be Sti r n e r than M ax w i t h o u t fai l i n g M a rx ;
To c o n p ros poet i c a l l y w i t h d ete r m i nate sent i e n ce;
To keep t h e ba l l in yo u r cou rt w i t h o u t e n d i n g up in o n e ;
To be m o re l i ke you rse l f t h a n y o u 've eve r b e e n before.

( 1 98 1 )

47
 THE CORRECT LINE

A spectre is haunting Terra: the spectre of comedy. East and

West, " l eft" and right, power's pimps and property's property
(businessmen and bureaucrats, socialists and socialites,
commissars and clergymen, Coke and Pepsi) - all the fat cats
and phonies and their marching morons and stultified tools are
as one in their efforts to exorcise the mockery of those who fly in
under their radar. Banished or bridled again and again, the
Trickster always gives them the slip in the end, wearing
countless faces as the institutionalized slip on their faeces.
They'l l n e ver catch the Roadrunner!
And now the time has come "to make the silence audible"
...with the radio off. Ragnarok 'n' roll is here to stay. "Take back
the night"? Why settle for half-measures? For the unbossed and
unbought it is better to score than to keep score, better to prey
than to pray. Let al l she-and-hedonists shit-can the
(sub)humanists; let hungry Morlocks everywhere eat the rich;
l et the ludic and the Luddites put an end to the supreme
servitude work. The depressi ve have reason to dispose of the
repressive. Why not take the socio path? It leads to a leaderless
life of permanent revelry beyond the Reality Principle.
As the economy implodes and the culture corrodes and the
old world erodes, as even the oblivious incline toward
Oblomovism, as time runs out on the time-clock - with
Armageddon imminent, the sentients and sensitives had better
make sure that the Antichrist wins. It's autism against o ug h tism!
Necronomics is bankrupt: statism is withering away. This is the
fight to the finish between Them and Us, between gorillas and
guerrillas, quantity and quality, Marxists and Groucho Marxists,
the inane and the insane, Locke and Loki, the Syndicate and the
cynical, the Trots and the hot-to-trot, common sense and
communal sensuality, Catholics and catholics, Protestants and
protestants, the ruling class and the declasse , the static and
the stateless, the negation of pleasure - and the pleasure of
negation. Al l reet!

49
 C o n fused by C a rtes i a n , M a n i ch e a n , l eft b ra i n/r i g h t bra i n
struct u ra l ist b i n a ry o p pos i t i o n s c ross h atc h i n g t h e wri n k les o n
you r b ra i n ? Wo u l d y o u h es i tate t o p l ay c h ess w i t h Karen
Q u i n l a n ? Y o u r p r u d e nce ( bu t n ot yo u r p r u d i s h ness) is
c o m m e n d a b l e a n d , h o pefu l l y, not c o m m a n d a b l e . W h at y o u
n ee d i s a d i ffe re n t ( bu t n ot d i ff i d e n t ) i n d u st r i a l-stre n g t h
i de o l o g y , a fo ray i nto fuc kt u ra l i s m , t h e ( n o n - i l l u m i n i st )
i l l u m i nati o n of n orth-brain c o n sc i o u s n ess, a p l u n g e i nto 3-
c h o rd p o l i ti c s a n d n ot h i n g- l eft i s m . Too m uc h i s e n o u g h ! S e l f­
h e l p m ea n s h e l p yo u rself! P u rs u e l i be rati o n t h ro u g h
l o gosex u a l ity: see f o r y o u rself h ow c u n n i n g - l i n g u istics a d d s a
w h o l e new d i m e n s i o n to o ral sex. U se t h e power of a bs u rd i ty to
expose the a b s u rdity of power. Y o u say you h e a r a d i ffe re n t
d r u m m e r? M aybe so - b u t i s t h e r h yt h m syncop a ted? G i ve
you rse l f p e r m i s s i o n to feel o kay a b o u t tras h i n g t h e Tota l i ty a n d
its c o u n t l ess l i ce nsed l oyal o p p os i t i o n s , its a rtfu l l y e n g i n ee red
i l l u s o ry alternatives to itse l f . Accept no s u bst i t u tes!
Yo u ' re e n t i t l e d , after m i l l e n ia of c i vi l izat i o n , after c e n t u ries of
i n d u strial i s m , after d ecades of s c h o o l i n g , after years of
televi s i o n , after m o n t h s of roc k m us i c , afte r m i n u tes of read i n g
- yo u ' re e n t i t l e d t o t h e s tra igh t poop. A n d h e re i t i s , t h e
q u est i o n to t h e a n swer you 've b e e n h e a r i n g a l l yo u r l ife, t h e
correct line:

I N CO R R E CT C O R R E CT

Sedat i o n Sed i t i o n
Van g u a rd part i es Afte r- h o u rs parties
F reed o m of rel i g i o n F ree d o m from re l i g i on
L e g a l p ractice Ta rget p ractice
B e h av i o r i s m M i s b e h avi o r i s m
M ed itat i o n P re m ed itat i o n
Len i n i s m L e n n on i s m
P ray i n g P l ay i n g
F ree trade R o u g h t ra d e
C o u n te r-c u l t u re C o u nteri n g c u l t u re

50
Po l it i ca l move m e n ts Pe l v i c move m e n ts
Dad Dada
R eve l at i o n Revo l ut i o n
Wars W h o res
C l as s i c a l l i b e ra l s Rococo rad i c a l s
Reason T reaso n
Sects Sex
Cap i ta l p u n i s h m en t The p u n i s h m e n t of c a p i t a l
Ato m i c power A n o m i e power
L awye rs Scoffl awye rs
Homophobia Nomophobia
Separat i o n of c h u rc h A bo l i t i o n of c h u rc h
a n d state a n d state
C o n s u l ta n ts l n s u l t a n ts
E l ect i o n s E re ct i o n s
F o rce F a rc e
H i storical materi a l i s m H yste r i c a l m ateri a l i s m
Racism E rase-i s m
N e u rotics E roti cs
Pos i t i ve t h i n k i n g Pos i t i ve d ri n k i n g
L i berta r i a n s L i b e rt i nes
TV TV's
T h eo l og i a n s N eo i og i a n s
Forei g n affa i rs F o re i g n affa i rs

L EV I TY I S T H E 4TH D I M E N S I O N !

II t h e correct l i ne
II
( 1 98 1 )

51
 , ,

DECLASS E (FIEDS)

P O S I T I O N S AVA I L A B L E : P r o n e o r ( H ) E l( L ) , SALVA D O R ? Peace i s

s u p i n e . To g et o n - o r to g e t i t o n ?
To p a y o r t o p l ay? To g et u p o r t o
g et i t u p ? T o w o r k o r to s h i rk ?
D o n 't d o w n s i z e desi re! T h ere i s n o
l i fe aft e r w o r k . Workers Against
Work.
ATT E N T I O N N E W (W)A G E I ST S : A
good m a n tra is h a rd to f i n d . T h e
A q u a r i a n A g e : t h e W h o l ocaust.
Godless Communists ( att n : S u f i
S a l e s , D e m e n t o r) .
FAI L I N G MARX: M a o i sts: M a rx i st
M oo n ies. T rots k y i s m : Sta l i n i s m ' s
loyal o p po s i t i o n . Left i s m : Too
m a n y causes, not e n o u g h effects.
Why n ot g o s o far l eft you 've l eft
t h e l eft beh i n d ? T h e l eft is g a u c h e ,
m a ke you r own revo l u t i o n !
No thing-Leftists.
"MASTE R S W I T H O U T SLAVES"
n eeded to c o m p l ete pass i o n a l
s e r i es : p o l y g y n es , bacc h a n tes,
l i c e n t i ates, and tetrat o n es ( w i l l
c o n s i d e r t r i t o n e s . ) N o pets ( a n t i ­
l i o n s O K ) . Gang of Fourier.
T H E L I B E RAL: W h e n ever a n y b od y
m e n t i o n s revo lvers, h e rea c h e s f o r
h i s c u l t u re. P r o g ress? T h e f u t u re i s
passe. W h y l et c u l t u re t a k e its
c o u rse? Misanthropologists.
SAM E S E E KS S A M E . S o l i p s i s t
seeks self for s u p e rf l u o u s
sy m m et ry . Let's be a l o n e toget h er.
lnvolutionaries.
L E I S U R E: H o w to m a k e p l ay wo r k .
You r p l ace o r M e i n K a m pf? P l ay
f o r keeps! Misbehaviorists.
too i m p o rta n t to be l eft to t h e
p ac i f i sts, m u c h l e s s left t o t h e l eft.
Less pass i v i s m , m o re p ac i f i s m !
Peacemongers.
TO BE S CHOOLED is to be ru led.
I n d u l g e · in the p l ea s u res of
p ed a n t i c i d e - don't deny y o u rself
t h e d e l i g h ts of d i d ac t i c i d e ! I n stead
of term i n at i n g p rej u d i ced tea c h e rs ,
w h y not term i n ate tea c h e rs " w i t h
p rej u d i ce "? T h ose w h o c a n , d o ;
t h ose w h o c a n 't, t e a c h - a n d t h ose
who d o n 't want to, f i g h t b a c k !
Better B re n d a than H er b e rt
S p e n cer! Pedagogicides.
M O RA L I S M : Service to c auses . . .
c a u ses s e rv i t u d e . T h e l 's h ave i t !
Marxist-Stirnerists.
N EW WAVE: W i t h e re d on t h e v i n y l .
S o p h i st i cated, e h ? To be bored i s
t o b e b o r i n g . I t's a rt, b u t i s i t g oo d ?
Pata-Poseurs.
I N A BAD STATE? T h ere a r e n ' t a n y
g o o d o n es . T h e s u p e rs t r u ct u re i s
base. S m as h l ex i s m ! l mpoliticians.
C O U P LES: Tact i c a l n u c l ea r
fa m i l i es, P rost i t u t i o n : b u ysex u a l ity.
Less sex i s m , m o re sex! D o n 't let
t h e m revo k e y o u r l i ce n t i o u s n ess .
Orgastronomes.
LAW: T h e o n l y ca u se of c r i m e ; fi rst
and forem ost of the " h u rt i n g
p rofess i o n s . " W h y n ot t ry ro b b e ry
for " h a n d s - u p " e x p e r i e n ce? C r i m e
i s s e l f- h e l p a n t i n o m i a n i s m . L i f e l ess
l a w - o r t h e l a w l ess l i fe ? Y o u be
t h e j u d g e . Nomophobes

53
S P A C E C O L O N IZAT I O N ? B etter
sta rt w i t h the vac u u m between
y o u r ears. The E n t e r p r i se is a
g a r b a g e scow. I n stead of l owe r
g ravity, w h y n o t h i g h e r lev i ty?
F u t u r i s m i s react i o n a ry . W h y not
science f r i ct i o n ? The E m p i re
s t r i k e s o u t . . . m a y t h e farce be w i t h
yo u ! P h rases o n st u n ! Artaud 02.

MAN B I T E S G O D ! Wafe r M a d n ess,

a sacra m e n t a l i l l ness. S ee t h e
P o l i s h Pope t u r n w i n e i n to water!
D e i c i d e i s a v i ct i m l ess c r i m e .
Primates.

J U S T I C E we t h o u g h t : i n stead of
d u e p rocess, der Prozess. To
n o n s u i t the 3- p i ece set ( a k a t h e
Tweed Ring) be p l a i ntive, n ot
p l a i n t i ff . . . m a k e a c r i m i n a l a p pea l !
Translexuals.

PULL THE PLUG on rad i o

evan g e l i sts. Less a u ra l sects, m o re
o ra l sex! Ranters.

( 1 981 - 1 982)

54

Affecti o n i s O U T .
Affectat i o n i s I N .
T o " g o fo r broke" i s O U T.
G o i n g broke is I N .
M e ntat i o n i s O U T .
R eg i m e ntat i o n i s I N .
C reat i v i ty i s O U T .
C reat i o n i s m i s I N .
D o pe i s O U T .
D o pes are I N .
Stri kes a re O U T .
F i rst-st r i kes a re I N .
" Back t o t h e l a n d "
OUT.
Bac ks-to-t h e-wa l l i s I N .
Real ity i s O U T .
R e a l ty i s I N .
T h e o bsce n e i s O U T .
T h e "scene" i s I N .
INS & O UTS
T h e M ed f l i es a re O U T .
T h e F e d l i es a re I N .
D i atri bes a re O U T .
" T h e t r i bes" a r e I N .
I ntox i cati o n i s O U T .
Tox i c i ty i s I N .
T h e " boat peo p l e " a re O U T
T h e m i ss-the-boat
peo p l e a re I N .
Punk is OUT.
B u n k is I N .
W i l hel m Reich i s OUT.
T h e T h i rd R e i c h i s I N .
is
Rad i ca l s are O U T .
Radiation is I N .
69 i s O U T .
666 i s I N .
B oh e m i a n i s m i s O U T .
T h e B o h e m i a n G rove i s I N .
55
" M a k i n g it" i s I N . N u kes a re I N .
M a k i n g so m e bo d y e l s e i s O U T . Koo ks a re O U T .

Po l i s h wo rkers a re I N . T h e space p rog ra m i s I N .

A m erican workers a re S p ac i n g o u t yo u r
OUT. p rog ram m i n g i s O UT .

9-d i g i t Z I P c o d e s a r e I N . O rg a n i c i s I N .
3-d i g i t I Q 's are O U T . O rgasm i c i s O U T .

C astrat i o n i s I N . Realpol itik is I N .

Cast i g at i o n i s O U T . T h e i m po l i t i c are O UT .

Desi g n er j e a n s are I N . C e l i bacy i s I N .

S u pe r i o r g e n es are O U T . C e l e b rat i o n i s O U T .

C o n se rv!'lt i s m i s I N . L i be rta r i a n s a r e I N .
C o n servat i o n i s O U T . L i be rty i s O U T .

Coupl ism is I N . H e ro-wo rs h i p i s I N .

C o p u l at i o n i s O U T . H e ro i s m i s O U T .

Pos i t i ve t h i n k i n g i s I N . Poseu rs l i ke y o u a re I N .
Pos i t i ve d r i n k i n g i s O U T . P rose u rs l i ke me a re
OUT.

N at i o n a l i s m i s I N .
R o n a l d Reagan i s I N .
l ns u bo rd i n a t i o n a l i s m i s O UT .
Tiny l ittle g u n s are {alas!)
OUT.

G ett i n g t h e I n 's o u t a n d t h e O ut's i n sti l l l eaves t h e i ns i d e i n

a n d t h e o u ts i d e o u t . T h e i ns i d e i s a lways t h e s i n s i de . T h e
o u t s i d e i s a l ways o u t of i t . To t u rn t h e w o r l d i n s i d e o u t , s mash
t h e m i rror - o r step t h ro u g h i t . . . to t h e other side of t h e M o e b i us
stri p .
( 1 98 1 ' 1 982)

56
 Can You Tell A Cutthroat
From A Tracheotomist?
20 QUESTIONS
1 . I f a fet u s i s a perso n , w h y d oes i t l oo k l i ke a steam ed p rawn ?
2 . A re b i l l boards " co m m uter prog ram m i n g " ?
3 . Were t h e P i l g ri m s t h e fi rst boat p eo p le?
4 . Does t h e S i l ent M aj o rity be l i eve in H a rpo M a rx i s m ?
5 . W i l l ban n i n g c h e a p h a n d g u ns p rod uce a bett e r c l ass o f
c ri m i n a l ?
6 . H aven't p u n ks bec o m e b o r i n g young tarts?
7 . Do pooper-scooper o rd i na n ces mean m o re l aw , l ess o rd u re ?

8 . I f J es u s i s co m i n g a g a i n , w h at i s H i s refracto ry peri od?

9. If t h e re's a ri g ht t o property, w h e re can I s i g n up for m i n e ?
1 0 . W h y d o vegeta r i a n s b i te t h e i r n a i ls?
1 1 . Can R ea g a n tel l t h e truly n eedy from t h e t r u l y g reedy?
1 2 . A re n 't b osses the rea l " T i m e Ba n d i ts " ?
1 3 . I f G o d w a n t e d u s to s u c k c o c k , wo u l d n 't H e h ave g i ven u s
l i ps ?
1 4 . D o w h a l es c a u s e c a n c e r?
1 5 . I s Reag a n o m ics t h e sc i e n ce of h o l o ca u st-be n ef i t a n a l ys i s ?

1 6 . D i d t h e P o l i s h P o pe atte n d t h e Co l l eg e of Card i n a l s o n a
footb a l l s c h o l a rs h i p?
1 7 . W h y d o peo p l e w h o say " t h e re's n o f ree l u n c h " h ave expense
acc o u nts?
1 8 . If s i sterhood i s powe rf u l , s h o u l d n 't fe m i n i sts d o uc h e m ore
ofte n ?
1 9 . W h y d o n 't peo p l e take f r i v o l ity se r i o u s ly?
20. W h y not c u t c l ass soci ety?

57
I F YOU w o u l d l i ke t o see l ess posers a n d m o re o p posers ;
reco i less from r i f l es than you used t o ;
a r e too p o o r for t h e ritual ;
t h row tem pe r tant ri cs ;
a r e m o re tact i l e than tactf u l ;
t h i n k C h ristian ity i s t h e G reatest Story Ever S o l d ;
l o n g for a n a l t e r n at i ve alternative;
h ave n o pat i e n ce with pat i e nts;
e nj o y "6669" ;
o p pose a f i rst st r i k e and p ro pose a g e n e ra l stri ke;
THE N you a l read y k n ow t h at

Arbeit Is W o rse T h a n O u r B a rk

( 1 98 2 )

58
 SURREALIST DESTINIES :
MIX AND MAT C H !

A n d re B reto n
Steve S c h wartz
A i m e Cesa i re
L o u i s A rag o n
H e r bert R ead
O ctav i o Paz
Salva d o r D a l i
D i p l o m at
Cath o l i c devot i o n a l pai n t e r
K n ight (soil)
W rote a l o n g book on A rt
Co m m u n i st Party off i c i a l
T ra d e j o u r n a l ist
Racial n at i o n a l i st

( 1 982)

59
 FIG HTING WORDS

An Epigrammar

" ' F i g h t i n g ' words - t h ose w h i c h by t h e i r ve ry u tte ra nce i n f l i ct

i nj u ry o r te n d to i n c i te a n i m m e d i ate b reac h of t h e peace . " -
Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire, 3 1 5 U . S . 568, 5 7 1 -72 ( 1 942 )

" Every q u otat i o n is a l s o a n i nterp retat i o n . " - G e o rg L u kacs,

History and Class Consciousness

I DEOLOGUES

" T h e n i h i l i st says : I w a n t a siec/e w i t h fins o n i t . " - A L F R E D

JARRY CORN ELI US

" L i b e rta ri a n s d o t i m e/ m o t i o n st u d i es i n t h e bath roo m . " -

K U RT A N G LO-SAX O N

" A n d they d o cost-benefit a n a l yses i n t h e bed roo m ! " - J O D I E

F O S T E R- N I ETZS C H E

" T h e M a rx i sts h ave o n ly c h a n g e d t h e worl d ; t h e p o i n t ,

h oweve r, i s ato p t h e i r head s . " - B A K U N I N E G G S

" Less l a i ssez-fai re , m o re savo i r-fa i re ! " -AY N K R U G G E R A N D

" Y o u want ' A n a r c h y N ow'? I w i s h I had yo u r p at i e n c e . " -

PETRON I US A R B EITER

61
 " ' F ree m a r ket , ' t h ey say - b u t w h y d o t h ey a l ways m a rket
u p? " -OYST E R S R O C K E F E L L E R I V

" Everyt h i n g l eft a n d r i g h t say a b o u t each o t h e r i s t r u e . " -

M A L C O L M S EX

" L i b e rta r i a n s w h o d o n 't bel i eve i n paper m o ney are we l c o m e

to se n d me a l l of t h e i rs . " - LYS ER G I C S P O O N E R

T H E N EW S

" Less g u n c o n t ro l , m o re goon c o n t ro l ! " -J U D G E L EA R N E D

H AN D G U N (to O L I V E R W E N D E L L O M , J R . )

" Every A rg e n t i n e w h o i s n 't Peron i s s u p i n e . " - G EO R G E

B E R N A R D P S H AW (to J O H N B U L LS H I T a n d W I L L I A M
M O RASS)

" D o n 't g i ve up t h e s h e ep ! " - R EA R A D M I RA L G A U C H O

MARX

" I s ' t h e G ove r n m e nt's ra i l road of B o b Ava k i a n ' a sea l e d

boxca r?" - E M MA G O L D B R I C K

" D o n 't s h oot u nt i l you see t h e w h ites o f t h e ir s k i n s . " -

M A RT I N L U T H E R K I N K , J R . (to G H ETTO M A R X )

SEX

" G ive m e a p l ac e to sta n d , a n d I w i l l s i t o n y o u r fac e . " -

V I R G I N I A D E N TATA (to Y O N I M I TC H E L L )

62
 " Do ot h e rs as y o u wo u l d h ave t h e m d o yo u . " - F E R A L
FAWC ETT

" G ive me l i be rty , o r g i ve me h ead ! " - M O B I U S D I C K (to

A N DY WH O R E H O L E)

FAITH

"He who i s o n the s p i r i t u a l p l a n e , m i sses the boat. " -

M A H A T M A P R O PA G A N D H I

" I f you tu rn t h e oth e r c h ee k , yo u ' l l catch a s l a p o n t h at s i d e

too . " - B R I GA N D YO U N G

" B h ag wa n , hu mbug! G o , a n d Zen no m o re . " -TO F U

MAN C H U

" T h e Raptu re? G o o d r i d d a n c e ! " -ANAL R O B ERTS

"S u re t h e J ews a re C h rist- k i l l e rs , b u t w h at h ave t h ey done fo r

us l ate ly?" -G I D E O N STR U M P ET

" B u d d y , can youse parad i g m ? " - E L M E R G EN T R Y

" Do n 't ro l l away t h e sto n e ! L eave wel l e n o u g h a l o n e ! "

I G N I T I O N D I S LOYO LA

T H E "S C E N E "

" I f you k n ow h ow to s pe l l 'pose u r , ' y o u are o n e . " - M O R LO C K

H O L M ES ( t o G UY D . S KAT E B O A R D )

63
 " N ew wave m eans weari n g a safety- p i n i n you r c h i c . " -
H A I RY D E BB I E

" H i sto ry i s p u n k . " - H E N RY F N O R D

OTHER POISON-PENSEES

" I m itat i o n i s t h e s i n ce rest fo r m of c o n te m pt . " - WAT

TYL E N O L

" 'A rt i sts are h i g h stru n g . ' ' Yo u m ea n t h ey s h o u l d b e ! ' " -

P S E U D O N Y M O U S B O S C H a n d O N A N T H E BA R BA R I A N

" Neces s i ty makes m o t h e rs of us all . " - A N N ETTE

P U N C H I N E L L O (to PATTY D U P E )

" I f yo u ' re s o r i c h , w h y a re n 't y o u s mart ? ' ' - C H I P S I L I CO N E

(to M U F F Y D I VE R )

" I t's better t o be mean t h a n average . A n d it's fi n e to b e

coars e ! " - J A M E S VAG A B O N D

( 1 983)

64
 Ill:
APPEAL T O REASON
(1982 .. 1984)

O n La b o r Day, 1 980, I p a rt i c i pated i n a n eve n t I 'd h e l ped

o rg a n ize - a take-off on p u n k po l i t i c a l eve nts l i ke " R o c k
A g a i n st R a c i s m " - t h e R o c k A g a i n st W o r k . I m et a o n e-t i m e
u n derg ro u n d newspaper p u b l i s h er, J o h n B rya n , w h o l ater
started a n ee-u n d e rg ro u n d paper ca l le d Appeal t o Reason
p i t c h e d to h i p p i e lefti sts of t h e 60's G e n e rati o n . B ryan l i ked m e
a n d my f l ye rs , a l t h o u g h t h ey often g rated o n h i s constitu e n cy ,
a n d l et m e write a co l u m n , i l l - n a m ed " A p pe a l to T reas o n . "
A l th o u g h t h e re was f r i ct i o n between t h i s re l u ctant e l ecto ral
so c i a l i st and m yse l f , as m i g ht be expecte d , h e prov i d ed m e w i t h
a l ess fettered fo r u m t h a n a n yo n e e l se h a s , n ota b l y i n c l u d i n g
t h e " a n a rc h i st" m e d i a . I was p h as i n g o u t f l y e rs a t t h e s a m e t i m e ,
a n d newspaper c o l u m n s , a l t h o u g h i n f o r m a reg ress i o n t o
m od e s o f e x p ress i o n I 'd sta rted o u t to avo i d , worked o u t
to l e r a b l y we l l i n t h e i r stead . B ryan's l ast i s s u e , u s i n g h i s
p rev i o u s paper n a m e Open City, was a i m ed a t t h e D e m oc rati c
C o n ve n t i o n a n d i n c l u d ed m y C o n coverage ( n ot re p r i n ted h e re )
a s we l l a s " T h e P o l i t i c a l T h eo l og y o f Ferl i n g hett i . "

65
 ANTI-N U CLEAR TERR OR, O R ,
I FEEL A C HILIASM

Seve ra l yea rs ago I h a d a h i pp i e roo m m ate who d i s m i ssed

p u n k by say i n g , "You can't keep an n o u n c i n g the a poca l y pse fo r
t h e day after t o m o rrow. " H e was r i g h t , a n d n ot o n l y because
p u n k h a d the s h o rtest h a l f- l ife of a n y c o u n te r-c u l t u re to d ate.
Fear i s a m i g hty force, espec i a l l y i f t h e re rea l ly i s reaso n to be
sca red s h i tless, as i n t h e c a s e o f a n yt h i n g n u c l ea r . B u t, eve n
a p a rt f ro m t h e d i sa b l i n g d i st ress atte n d i n g t h e exper i e n c e , fea r
h as its l i m its as a m otivat i o n , a n d t h e N ewest L eft - t h e
a n t i wa r/a n t i- n u ke o p po s i t i o n - m ay t r i p itse l f u p u n l ess it
respects t h e m .
Terro r - i n c l u d i n g , b u t n ot o n l y t h e "terro r i s m " we' re t ra i ned
to sel ectively abhor - c a n p ro b a b l y i n d u ce a l m ost a n y
res ponse a scare m o n g e r w a n t s , a t l east for awh i l e . B u t i t l e n d s
i t s e l f to so m e u ses m u c h m o re t h a n oth e rs . H i sto r i ca l l y i t 's
a l ways worked best to b u ffal o peo p l e i nto war: o n l y rece n t l y h a s
fea r of war itself ove r r i d e n fea r of t h e off i c i a l l y a n o i nted E n e m y
fo r s i g n i f i c a n t n u m be rs o f p eo p l e i n E u rope a n d A m e ri ca.
T h e i rreve rs i b l y catast ro p h i c c o n seq u e n ces of n u c l ea r war
h ave offered to antiwar act i v ists a n i ns i d i o u s tem ptat i o n to
terro rize the terro r i sts. W h at i s R e ag a n ' s s h opworn Red S care
c o m pa red to wo r l d w i d e b i o c i d e ? And any h alfwit c a n see t h at
t h e n e a rest n u c l ea r powe r p l a n t i s a m e n ace bes i d e w h i c h a few
fa raway i n s u rg e n t b a n a na-re p u b l i c a n s a p pear as v i rt u a l
p h a n tas m s , eve n i f yo u g i ve so m e c re d e n ce to C o l d Wa r
m yt h o l ogy. T u r n i n g t h e ta b l es o n o u r T ri l ateral tyrants se rves
th� m r i g h t . B u t is it r i g h t to se rve t h e m ?
To overs i m p l i fy: peo p l e can be f r i g htened i nto d o i n g t h i n g s t o
a b o u t t h e s a m e exte n t t h ey can be coe rced i nto d o i n g t h e m .
F o rce a n d fear can p reve n t peo p l e f r o m d o i n g m ost a n yt h i n g
t h ey want to. T h ey c a n a l s o c o m p e l t h e exec u t i o n o f a few f a i r l y
s i m p l e tas ks. B u t t h ey c a n ' t c o m m a n d c reat i v i ty o r i m ag i n at i o n .
( I n t h e antebe l l u m s o u t h , f i e l d h a n d s co u l d be w h i p ped i nto
work i n g - up to a po i nt - b u t s l ave c rafts m a n enj oyed a g reat
d ea l of s l a c k , a l th o u g h l eg a l l y t h ey were eq u a l l y at the m e rcy of

67
t h e i r m asters. T h e l aw oversteps t h e b o u n d s of workaday rea l i ty
at its own p e ri l . ) You can c reate a bogeyman eas i ly e n o u g h , a n d
t h e N ewest Left h as d o n e s o , w i t h p e r h a ps m o re j ustificat i o n
t h a n a n y of its p redecess o rs . B u t ( o n e , t w o , t h ree) w h at a re w e
fi g h t i n g for?
S e l f- i n d u ce d h yste r i a c a n o n l y eve n t u ate i n b u rn o u t ( o r
se l l o u t ) . I f t h e a n t i wa r doo m sayers at t h e i r m ost extravag a n t are
co rrect, the wo r l d w i l l s h o rt l y self-destruct and we n eed n 't
c o n ce r n o u rself w i t h p etty peri p h eral p ro b l e m s l i ke stat i s m o r
c l ass soc i ety. I nstead , l et u s w i s h o u r s u ccess o rs t h e
c oc k roac h es t h e best of l u c k a s , freed a t l ast f r o m t h e ravages o f
B l a c k F l a g , t h ey t a k e t h e i r t u r n t ry i n g to evo l ve to t h e p o i n t t h ey
can ra i se t h e b l a c k f l aa as t h e i r o w n .

B u t i f - as, o p e rat i o n a l l y , we a l l ass u m e - n e i t h e r n uc l e a r

h o l o c a u st n o r ecoc i d e i s g o i n g to h a p p e n i n t h e s h o rt r u n , t h e n
t h e re i s t i m e , i f t h e re i s t i m e for a n yt h i n g , t o d o u bt w h et h e r
f re n zy i s t h e s h o rt c u t to s a l vat i o n . Y o u h ave to won d e r a b o u t a
m ovem e n t e n co m pass i n g R e p u b l i ca n s f o r a N uc le a r F reeze,
C at h o l i cs fo r a N u c l ea r F reeze, U n i o n B osses f o r a N uc l ea r
F reeze, Stal i n i sts f o r a ( u n i l at e ra l ) N uc l e a r F reeze, M o m entari l y
O u t-of-Office Wa r m o n g e rs f o r a N u c l ea r F reeze, etc. A re t h e y
a l l u n d e r a n u m b re l l a - o r a c i rc u s tent? S u c h p ro m i sc u i ty
p e r h a ps o bs c u res t h e f u n d a m e n t a l d iffe ren c e between t h ose of
Us who c rave peace, h ea l t h , free d o m a n d p l easu re - a n d t h os e
of T h e m w h o , a p a rt f ro m t h e i nt e rest t h ey p res u m a b l y s h are
w i t h u s in avoi d i n g vaporizat i o n , make i t t h e i r ( t h at i s t o say,
b u s i n ess') b u s i n ess t o deny o u r asp i rati o n s and w h o , u n t i l te n
m i n utes a g o , we re t h e p i l l a rs of t h e System w h i c h c reated t h i s
crisis.
I t i s n 't r i t u a l o b e i s a n c e t o vari o u s M a rxist o r o t h e r-ist t h e o r i es
w h i c h red u ce n ukes a n d a l l o th e r evils fro m video g a m es to s p l it
e n d s to s o m e d e m o n i c abstracti o n ( c a p i t a l i s m , i rre l i g i o n , t h e
w ro n g h a l f of t h e b ra i n , possess i o n of a pe n i s , etc . ) t h at I ' m
p roposi n g - far f r o m i t . T h at's t h e k i n d o f (for l a c k o f a bette r
word) t h i n k i n g t h at g ot u s i nto .t h i s m ess. A n t i- n u k e rs a r e ri g h t
t o defe n d t h e i r i n s i g h t i nto t h e m a l i g n ity of n u clearism itself
a g a i n st vari o u s o p p o rt u n ist l efti st a n d/or m o ra l ist i m pe ri a l i sts
who t ry to a n n ex the i s s u e f o r t h e i r own p u rposes. B u t t h i s i s n ot
to say t h at n u kes fel l o n o u r heads f ro m M a rs o n e d ay. I n fact

68
t h ey' re t h e p ro d uct of o u r own soci ety - i n deed , o u r own
cou ntry, l ater j o i n e d by ass o rted Sta l i n i st and n at i o n a l i st
reg i m es. I t's t h e l owest-co m m o n - d e n o m i nator, m o d e rate favo r­
t rad e rs w h ose a n t i- n u c l e a r a rd o r is n a i ve or h y p o c r i t i c a l ; n ot
t h e i nt ra n s i g e n ce of t h ose w h o o n ly asse rt t h e o b v i o u s w h e n
t h ey po i nt o u t t h at n u kes a re t h e patri c i d a l c h i l d re n of a
n u c leog e n i c soc i ety.
When " respecta b l e" a n t i - n u c l ea r Esta b l i s h m en t a r i a n s a rg u e
t h at a f reeze i s reas o n a b l e s i nce, after a l l , w e a l read y h ave t h e
capacity to exte r m i n ate o u r a l leged e n e m ies m a n y t i m es ove r ­
d oesn't t h at c o n f i rm t h e utter i n adeq u acy of t h e e l ectoral f reeze­
fet i s h ?
A l th o u g h - even beca use - t h e re i s good c a u se for fear, w e
m u st a p peal l ess to fea r ( a n d h ate) t h a n to l ove, l u st , c reative
power, u nt ra m m e l l ed i m ag i n at i o n , h ope and d e s i re. W h at we
c rave at l o n g l ast i s life, n ot m e re m i serab l e s u rv i va l , w h i c h
a l m ost certai n l y we can't h ave a n yway w i t h o u t a rad i ca l
overt u rn o f i n st i t u t i o n s a n d a rad i c a l t ra n sva l u at i o n of va l u es.
O n l y P l uto, t h e G od of Wea l t h , d i s p u tes his p l u to n i u m pate r n ity.
I h ave to ag ree with w h at Bob B ru baker has w r i tte n : "To me, a
m ovem e n t t h at c ri t i c izes d a i l y l i fe w i t h o u t eve r m e n t i o n i n g
n u c l e a r wea p o n s i s fa r m o re p rofo u n d t h a n a move m e n t w h i c h
c r i t i c i zes n u c l e a r wea p o n s w i t h o u t ever m e n t i o n i n g everyday
l i fe . "

( 1 982}

69
 LET US PREY !

T h a n ks to t h e M o ral M aj o r i ty , it's ag a i n o k ay to be a n t i ­
re l i g i o u s - a little b i t , a n yway. A n d y e t o n ly t h e g rossest
g ra n d i ose a b u ses of the rad i o react i o n a ri es a n d d i rect- m a i l
c h a u v i n i st p i g s c o m e i n for even po l i te c r i t i c i s m . T h at's too bad ,
'cause if you t u rn t h e ot h e r c h e e k , yo u ' l l p r o b a b l y catch a s l a p
o n t h at s i d e t o o . W h e n t h e f u n d a m e ntal i sts sta rt p i l i n g u p
fagg ots a ro u n d fag g ots, l et's not l i m it o u rselves to d e p l o r i n g t h e
fi re c o d e v i o l at i o n .
Face i t : t h e ag g ress ive elan o f t h e re l i g i o u s r i g h t i s ru n n i n g
r i n g s a ro u n d t h e l i m i ted l eg a l i s m o f its e n e m i es . T h e re p ress ive
rig h t i s (on t h e ) offe n s i ve . The p u n c h-d r u n k, p u n c h - p u l l i n g
" p rog res s i ves" are o n l y rea ct i n g . U n l i ke m ost w h o m o d e l t h e
adjective, t h e g o d l y rea l l y a re rad i c a l . T h ey're h ap py t o rew rite
o r rip up t h e i r own reve red C o n st i t u t i o n . T h ey ' re o u t to s h atte r
t h e s oc i a l a n d sex u a l stat u s q u o . T h ey h ave a ( t u n ne l ) v i s i o n of a
t h eo c rat i c N ew O rd e r. T h ey mean b u s i n ess.
The l i bera l s and l eft i sts in cont rast a re d i t h e r i n g , defe n s i v e
conservat ives - Wei m a r paralyt i c s u n wi l l i n g to d o u nto ot h e rs
w h at's be i n g d o n e u n to t h e m . W h y n ot?
U nt i l rece n t l y , l efti sts reg a rd ed a n y res u rrect i o n of the M a rx i st
a n d B a k u n i n i st c r it i q u es of re l i g i o n as o l d -fas h i o n e d a n d
i rre levant. T h e fact t h at " t h e m asses" t h ey p rofess to se rve b u t
sec ret l y despise sti l l l arge l y ad h ered t o a wate red-down
C h r i st i a n ity d i d n ' t d i st u rb the l eft i st l ea d e rs h i p . T h at was j u st
one m o re s i g n of the e l ect t o d i st i n g u i s h the van g u ard from t h e
ran k a n d f i l e; o n e m o re re m i n d e r t h at t h e h o i - po l l o i n ee d to b e
c o n t ro l led f o r t h e i r own g o o d .
C e rta i n l y s u c h s u p e rst i t i o n s , i f ove rlooked , p roved n o
o bstac l e to t h e offi c i a l d o m 's p r i m e p u rpose: h e rd i n g peo p l e i nto
its part i es and u n i o n s. B y the 1 960's, the l eft's i n h e ritance of
E n l i g h te n m ent f reet h o u g ht had s o far evapo rated t h at " M arxist­
C h r i st i a n d i al o g " beca m e fas h i o n a b l e . T h e Rev. M a rt i n L u t h e r
K i n g , J r. , espec i a l l y aft e r h i s m a rtyrd o m , ass u m e d tote m i c

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stat u re , h i s h o l y n a m e g rac i n g i n n u m era b l e a n d o t h e rw i s e
u n c h a n g e d streets, s c h o o ls , parks a n d b u i l d i n g s . T h e N ew Left
toyed w i t h m yst i c i s m - a te n d e n cy w h i c h l ater d i ffe re n t i ated
i nto a s e l f-s u bs iste n t sca m -s u bc u l t u re , t h e N ew Age - a n d
c o l l a b o rated w i t h Q u a k e rs, re l i g i o u s l i b e ra l s a n d h i p Vati c a n I I
p ri ests a n d n u n s i n a n t i wa r w o r k a n d va r i o u s ventu res i n
h u m a n i t a r i a n u p l i ft.
A m o n g l i b e ra l s , the m e re mention of re l i g i o n was a b reach of
good taste as we l l as a t h reat to the N e w Deal coa l i t i o n w h i c h
yoked t h e m to t h e Cath o l i c et h n i c s . Eve ryt h i n g , f ro m t h e
K e n n ed y c u l t to t h e rad i ca l- l i beral eff u s i o n s of t h e N at i o n a l
C o u n c i l o f C h u rc h e s , c o m b i n ed to a b o rt a n y res u m pt i o n of t h e
l i beral a n t i c l e ri ca l trad i t i o n of P a i n e a n d J effers o n . I t i s n 't easy
to hew to Voltai rea n verities w h i l e h o l d i n g h a n d s w i t h a m i n i ­
s k i rted n u n a n d a b l a c k Haptist pasto r as y o u l i ft u p yo u r vo i ces
i n a c h o ru s of "We S h a l l Overco m e . "
T h e 70's m a d e m atte rs wo rse. A med i a- m a n u factu red w h ite
eth n i c/" h a rd h at" fad es p o u sed by some o p p o rtu n i st
i n te l l ect u a l s f u rt h e r i n s u l ated p o p u l a r p i ety f ro m t h e c r i t i c i s m
a n d contempt i t deserve d . Desp i te t h e B e r r i g a n B roth e rs ,
d e s p i te fo l k- m u s i c m asses a n d oth e r ec u m e n i ca l cos m eti cs, t h e
Cath o l i c C h u rc h d evoted i t s m i l l i o n s - a n d i t s m i l l i o n s o f
myst i f i e d m i n i o n s - to o p pos i n g a b o rt i o n a n d i m p os i n g m o ra l s
l aws.
Th e l eft p roved u s e l ess . It was b u sy d i s i n te g rat i n g i nto
c o u n t less spec i a l - i n t e rest g ro u ps , eac h aspi r i n g to the e n v i e d
pos i t i o n of v i ct i m-g ro u p w h i c h t h e b l acks h a d ass u med w i t h
s u c h see m i n g s u ccess. T h e Le n i n ist sects w h i c h kept u p t h e
revo l u t i o n ary r h eto r i c l i kew i se c l a i m e d to b e t h e a g e n t of a
spec i a l ty g ro u p, t h e p ro l etariat, g r u d g i n g l y a u g m e n ted w i t h
ot h e rs ( eve ry b o d y h a d to p a l l i ate wo m e n , b u t s o m e c o u l d n ever
b ri n g t h e m se l ves to c h a m p i o n gays) , b u t in all cases the c r i t i q u e
o f t h e total ity was fo reswo rn . W i t h m o re l eft ist o r g a n izat i o n s b u t
l ess l eft i sts t h a n a d ecade befo re, a l l t h at h a p p e n ed was t h at a
few m o re s m a l l-ti m e o p e rat i o n s ass u m e d t h e i r m o d est p l ace i n
t h e pse u d o-p l u ra l i st syste m o f c o n s t i t u e n c y po l it i cs. T h e sine
qua non of t h i s acco m od ati o n was of c o u rse a tac i t
u n de rstan d i n g to ove r l o o k o n e a n o t h e r's s h o rtco m i n gs ,
espec i a l l y t h e o n es c o m m o n to a l l . O n t h e d efe n s i ve a n d p l a yi n g

72
i t safe, l eft i sts we re abo u t as l i ke l y to tac k l e t h e R e l i g i o u s
Q u esti o n as, say, t h e J e w i s h Q uest i o n .
A s fo r t h e l i b e ra l s . . . wha t l i b e rals? A s Sau l A l i n s ky ( i t takes
one to k n ow o n e) o n ce sai d : " A l i b e ral is a g uy who l eaves t h e
roo m w h e n an arg u me n t t u rns i nto a f i g h t . " A n d t h e n t h e re was
t h e Age of A q u ar i u s . ( B u d d y , can y o u se parad i g m ? ) T h e N e w
Agers sy n c ret i n ized t h e wo rst m u s h m i n d ed , narc i s s i st i c a n d
acco modat i o n i st c u rre nts o f t h e C o u n t e rc u l t u re ( t h e N e w Left at
p l ay) i nto a n ew rel i g i o n of res i g n at i o n . Earl i e r re l i g i o u s zea l ots
at l east c h ecked eac h othe r's excesses by expos i n g a n d
exco riati n g th e m . I n t h e N e w A g e , h o wever, a l l re l i g i o n s a re
t r u e . I ' m o kay, yo u ' re o kay. T h i s t i m e t h e p ro b l e m i s n ot g o i n g to
s o l ve itse l f . No need to d we l l o n t h e e m barras s m e n t of t h e
rece nt e l ect i o n , i n w h i c h l i b e ra l s st rove manfu l ly ( a n d
woman f u l ly) to o u t d o t h e i r o p p o n ents' d evot i o n to Kinder,
Kiiche, Kirche a n d tal ked t h e m s e l ves i n to a r i c h l y deserved
d e bac l e .
N o s u r p r i se t h e n t h at t h e " s c i e n t i f i c soc ial i sts" a n d ot h e r l eft
f l otsam g ot cau g ht off ( van ) g uard by t h e N ew R i g h t a n d its
m i l i tant , soc i a l c o n s e rvat i s m . As u s u a l t h e i n te l l i g e ntsia, s e l f­
appo i nted servants of h i sto ry , fa i l ed to l earn f ro m i t a n d s o
o utsm arted i t s e l f . T h e l eft i sts w e r e so busy st u d y i n g L i berat i o n
T h eo l og y t hat t h ey forget t h at - f ro m F ranco's C a r l i st s h o c k
troops i n 1 936 t o K h o m e i n i's R evo l u t i o nary G uards today -
always a n d eve ryw h e re t h e re l i g i o u s fanat i cs have been t h e
( t h roat-) c u tt i n g e d g e of react i o n .
A s t e l eo l og ues, t h e l i b e ra l s , Marxi sts a n d a n a rc h i sts t h o u g h t
t h at al l t h e t rap p i n g s of m o d e r n ity - t ec h n o l ogy, d e m o c racy,
h u m an i s m , etc. -ca m e as a set. To t h e i r bewi l d e r m e nt, the N e w
R i g h t has m o u nted a mass ive h i g h -tec h p ro paga n d a cam p ai g n
(an t i c i pated , t o b e s u re , b y G o e b b e l s ) s u ccessf u l l y p r o m ot i n g
t h e m ost a bs u rd a n d v i c i o u s m i sog y n ist, sad i s t i c an d i rrat i o na l
n o t i o n s . T h ey n eve r d i d u n d e rstan d , to t h e i r cost, w h at Ad o r n o
and H o r k h e i m e r a n d M a rc u se h a d t r i ed to te l l t h e m abo u t t h e
d i ffe re nce betwee n i n stru m e n tal a n d s u bstantive rat i o nal ity. B u t
i n stead o f ret h i n k i n g t h e i r pos i t i v i st p rej u d i ces, l eft i sts q u i b b l e
over co nsti t u t i o nal tec h n i cal i t i es w h i c h t h ey t h e mselves h ave
done so m u c h to re l at i v i ze . L i ke the Cold War l i b e ra l s of the SO's
a n d 60's, t h ey' l l never o u t-flag wave the r i g h t n o m atter h ow
many of t h e i r val u es t h ey betray.

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 T h e sec ret s o u rc e of t h e l eft's i m poten ce i n t h e face of t h e
u ps u rg e of t h e rec rud escent r i g h t i s t h i s : t h ey h ave t o o m u c h i n
c o m m o n . A left i st i s s o m e o n e w h o s hoots h i m s e l f i n t h e foot
o n cJ e h e g ets i t out of h i s m o u t h .
T h e hard r i g h t acc u ses t h e l eft of i m pos i n g its "sec u lar
h u m an i st" val u es in t h e p u b l i c s c h o o l s a n d e l se w h e re w h i l e
fe i g n i n g n e ut ral ity. O bv i o u s l y t h e ri g ht i s - w h at else? - r i g h t .
N o w t h e m eat- a n d B i b l e-beate rs f i g u re i t ' s their t u r n to rew rite
t h e sc ri pt to s u it t h e i r own anted i l u v i an tastes . The l i b e rals
p rete n d t h at evo l u ti o n i s m i s "sc i e n ce" w h i le c reat i o n i s m is
"theology," a f i n e d i st i n ct i o n at best. In its origin, o bv i o u s l y
c reat i o n i s m i s C h r i st i an . B u t i n its o ri g i n , s o i s evo l u ti o n i s m , a
scarcely sec u larized t ran s u bsta n t i at i o n of t h e t ransce n d e n t
m i l l e n n i a! esse nce of C h ristian ity, t h e h i st o r i ca l d i m e n s i o n
w h i c h d i sti n g u i s hes i t fro m oth e r fai t h s . S o w h at? S u re l y t h e
kook ri g ht i s onto s o m et h i n g fo r wo n de r i n g w h y b i rth-control
t rai n i n g belongs in c o m p u l s o ry p u b l i c schools b u t p raye r
d oesn't. I t i s poss i b l e to take a p r i n c i p l ed sta n d agai n st
c o m p u l s o ry s c h o o l i ng , i. e. , state-enfo rced t h o u g h t c o n t ro l , a n d
t h u s o utflan k Bab b i t ry altoget h e r. B u t t h e l eft i sts an d l i b e rals d o
n ot h i n g o f t h e s o rt .
M ax St i rn e r's re p roac h i s st i l l te l l i n g : " M a n , yo u r h ead i s
hau nte d ; you have w h e e l s i n you r h ead ! " R e l i g i o n al ways
re p resents t h e permanent poss i b i l i ty of rep ress i o n . G o d , t h e
u l t i mate pat riarch a n d abs o l ute aut h o rity, strives to c o n so l i date
H i s d i ctat o rs h i p " o n Earth as it i s in H eave n . " B u t He has h e l p ,
n ot o n ly f r o m t h e c o n sc i o u s l y C h ristian c ru d , b u t f ro m eve ry o n e
w h o c ovets H i s p o w e r a n d e m u l ates H i s m et h o d s . Every
va n g u a rd gan g i s a J es u i t retread . Every h i e ra rc h y
m i crocos m i zes t h e G reat C ha i n of B e i n g . A l l " m i l itants" be l o n g
t o t h e C h u rc h M i l itant.
T h e left has n ever j ett i s o n e d the h u man i st m o ral i s m i t took
from C h rist i a n i ty. From R o u sseau to len i n (to say n ot h i n g of
smal l fry from B o b Ava k i an to Mario C u o m o ) i t p reac hes g u i lt ,
re n u n c i ati o n , m arty rd o m , sel f-efface m e n t , o b e d i e n c e , work -
i n a word, re l i g i o n . M o ral i s m means t h e sac r i f i c e of real ,
tan g i b l e i n d i v i d uals a n d t h e i r face-to-face pas s i o nal g ro u ps to
abstract extri n s i c "causes" and pse u do-co m m u n i t i es (the State,
t h e Party, t h e P ro l etariat , Ia Raza, S i sterhood , etc. ad n auseum ) .

74
I f G od i s d ead , m o ra l i s m i s t h e D o o m sday M a c h i n e w h i c h H e
s p i tef u l l y beq u eat h e d u s .
T h e c rav i n g f o r c o m m u n ity, fo r t h e s e n sat i o n o f a s e n s i b i l ity
transce n d i n g the steri l e , c a l c u l at i n g reaso n of the e n g i n e e rs a n d
b o o k keepers a n d p l a n n e rs ca n n ot be sati ated by a d e m e a n i n g
re l i g i osity w h i c h fa l ls s h o rt of f u l l - b l oo d e d p ract i c a l reaso n ; b u t
o n l y b y a s u r rat i o n a l l e a p w h i c h i n c l u des b u t exceeds i t .
" Reas o n i s t h e bou n d o r o u tward c i rc u m feren ce of E n e rgy"
( B l a ke) , not the u l t i m ate cop-l i ke Categ o r i c a l I m pe rative.
Revers i n g F re u d : W h e re E g o was, ld w i l l be too.
A lso to be avo i d e d , t h o u g h , a re t h e n e rvo u s artifi c i a l
sac ri l eges o f t h e s u r rea l i st acad e m i cs . A s R ao u l V a n e i g e m
o bse rved , " p i ss i n g o n t h e a l t a r i s sti l l a w a y of pay i n g h o m ag e to
t h e C h u rc h . " Above a l l , u n d e r n o c i rc u m sta nces co m m i t a n act
of A rt.
N e i t h e r sac r i f i c i a l i s m , nor a n y e m pty " i n d i v i d u a l i s m " means
a nyt h i n g to t h e free ly i n (te r) d e pe n d e n t soc i a l i n d i v i d u a l s who
d i sda i n t h e system a l o n g w i t h its f r i en d l y e n e m i es . The
i d e o l o g i ca l l y possessed , l eft a n d right, h ave a l ways stood in o u r
way - n ot o n e a n ot h e r: w e a l l k n ow w e want each o t h e r .
N ot j u st re l i g i o u s c r a n k s m e d d l i ng i n p o l i t i c s , b u t religion a n d
politics t h e m s e l ves pose t h e p e r m a n e n t p ro b l e m o f w h at
G i b b o n cal led t h e ete r n a l a l l i a n ce of T h ro n e a n d A l tar, t h e H o l y
A l l i a n ce o f a l l a u t h o r i t i es a n d a u t h o ritari a n s . Separat i o n h as
p roved to be a l i beral m i ra g e . T h e o n l y rea l a l t e r n at i ve to
t h eo c racy i s the abolition of c h u rc h and state a l i ke - because
t h ey are a l i ke. Let u s p rey!

( 1 982 , 1 985)

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 A BUNC H ABALONE

T h e D i a b l o Canyon d e b a c l e s o u n ded t h e death - k n e l l of t h e

official ant i - n u c l ea r m ove m e n t . A b a l o n e A l l i an ce h i e rarchs -
excuse me, "spo kesperso n s " a n d "fac i l itato rs" - c o m p l a i n t h at
t h e b l ockade was t r i v i a l ized i n to a m e d i a h a ppen i n g . S u r p r i s e ,
s u rp rise! W h at d i d t h e a n t i - n u c l ea r top b rass p l ot for yea rs to
p ro d u ce at D i a b l o i f n ot a s pectac l e?
Abalone's p u rpose was n ever to p h ys i c a l l y i nt e rfere w i t h p l a n t
o pe rat i o n s b u t to be p h ot o g ra p h ed a p peari n g to t ry t o . D i d n ' t i t
k n ow t h at i n H o l l ywood t h e d i recto r, n ot t h e actors, ca l l s t h e
s h ots?
A ba l o n e stag ed a h i g h ly-hyped set- p i ece pse u do­
confrontat i o n w i t h n o possi b l e p u rpose b u t m a n i p u l at i n g the
med i a . <? bv i o u s l y t h ose who i n form t h e a u t h o r i t i es of t h e i r
i l l e g a l i n te n t i o n s p rec l u d e i n advance a n y k i n d of real d i rect
act i o n , n o n v i o l e n t o r o t h e rw i s e , to s h u t down the p l a n t . A l l
a l o n g A b a l o n e was l oo k i n g over its s h o u l d e r a t t h e j o u r n a l i sts
a n d po l it i c i a n s from w h o m a n t i - n u c l e a r d e l i ve ra n c e was s o u g h t .
B u t t h e H ea rst p ress a n d t h e rest a re n 't as eas i l y c o n n ed as t h ey
were i n t h e 60's; ev i d e n t l y t h ey learned m o re fro m t h at myth­
e n s h ro u ded past than Abal o n e's h i p p i e ret reads have.
No, t h i s t i m e the m a n i p u l ato rs t h e m se lves got m a n i p u late d .
A n d t h ey h ad i t c o m i n g - w h at w i t h J ac k s o n B ro w n e- n os i n g
a ro u n d , a n d w i t h anti- n u ke c h e c k po i n ts r i n g i n g t h e react o r t o
p rotect i t f ro m a n t i - n u c l ea r acti v i sts re l u ct a n t to s u b m it to
" n o n v i o l en ce" i n d octri n at i o n and Abal o n e o r d e rs . I n ot h e r
p l aces, A b a l o n e's c l o n e/co u nterparts h ave act u a l l y t u r n e d
ref ract o ry e l e m e n ts over to t h e p o l i ce . N o wo n d e r t h e D i a b l o
t u rn o ut was p i t if u l l y l o w . . . w h y g et yo u r head b u sted f o r n ot h i n g
m o re t h a n a c h a n g i n g o f t h e g ua rd ?
A ba l o n e a n d P G & E fee l exac t l y t h e sa m e a b o u t D i a b l o: each
says t h at t h e reacto r i s i ts p r i vate p ro p e rty, w i t h " N o
T res pass i n g " pe rm i tted . J u st l i ke P G & E - o r t h e Pe n tag o n ; o r
t h e Cat h o l i c C h u rc h ; o r a n y Le n i n i st sect - Abal o n e has its e l ite

77
of o rg a n i ze rs , e n fo rce rs a n d c e l e b rities, j u st as i t has its ra n k­
a n d -fi l e of passive, o bed i e n t a n o n y m i t i es . ( T h i s desp i te c u l t
revere n c e re n d e red to t h e i d eas of " d e m oc racy" a n d
" d ecentra l izat i o n . " ) A t a n A b a l o n e-ow n e d d e m o y o u h ave i t
th eir w a y o n a ta ke-i t-o r- l eave- i t bas i s - o r e l s e . T h u s N ew A g e
p a rt i c i pato ry pass i v i ty m i r ro rs t h e m i sera b i l i st powe rlessn ess o f
p reva l e n t soc i a l re l at i o n s . W i t h e n e m ies l i ke A b a l o n e , P G & E a n d
i t s bou rgeois/b u rea u c ra t i c backers d o n ' t n eed f r i e n d s .
I ro n i c a l ly, A b a l o n e o p p o rt u n i s m i s a fa i l ure even o n i t s o w n
d e m ea n i n g te r m s . J e rry B rown a n d t h e l aw-a n d-ord e r l i b e ra l s
h ave s o l d o u t t h e sel l-outs, a n d i t ' s u n l i ke l y t h e l atter wi l l f i n d
a n o t h e r b uyer. T h e re a i n 't a d i me's wo rth o f d i ffere n ce b etwee n
A b a l o n e a n d B a by l o n .
A s f o r t h e s u g g est i o n t h at D i a b l o C a n y o n was a victory, f i l e i t
away w i t h t h e fantasy of t h ose h i p p i es w h o h ave c o nv i n ced
t h e m s e l ves t h at t h ey did l evitate t h e Penta g o n in 1 968. T h e
n u c l ear i n d u s t ry i s everyw h e re co l l a ps i n g u n d e r i ts o w n we i g h t ,
a n d t h e tec h n i ca l s n af u s w h i c h h ave s h u t d ow n D i a b l o may g i ve
P G & E a face-sav i n g way to beat a tact i c a l retreat. B y m a k i n g too
m uc h of t h e n uc l e a r- reacto r-o n-an -ea rt h q u a ke-fa u l t h a p p e n ­
sta nce, A ba l o n e d ra m a t i zed P G & E's u t t e r i n d iffere n c e t o h u ma n
l ife b u t a l so wea kened t h e g e n e ra l a n t i - n u c l ea r case: t h e u t i l i t i e s
c a n " co m p ro m i se" by p u tt i n g t h e i r pest i l e n t i a l p l a nts e l se w h e re .
W i l l A ba l o ne's Ecoto p i a n i n s u l a rity sett l e f o r a West Coast no­
n u kes g h etto? L i ke "soc i a l i s m in o n e c o u n t ry , " Cal iforn i a
so l i ps i s m i s a st u p i d a n d self-st u l t i fy i n g h oax, i n m atte rs a n t i ­
n uc le a r as i n a l l others.
Thus "the c o u n t e rc u l t u re's i n st i n ct i ve h ost i l i ty to
esta b l i s h m en t media" ( T i m C o n n e r) i s , in the D i a b l o C a n y o n
c o ntext, j u st s o u r g rapes. T h e A b a l on e a p p a ratus a n d o t h e rs
l i ke i t a re fetters o n t h e deve l o p m e n t of t h e a n t i - n u c l e a r fo rces.
The P R types o n top l i ke the m asoc h i s t i c m asses below a re
r u n n i n g o n e m pty. T h ere's n o s u c h t h i n g as a n a n t i - b u rea u c rat i c
b u rea u c racy. Y o u c a n ' t e ra d i cate n u c l ea r powe r b y d o i n g t r i c ks
- o r t u r n i n g t h e m - for p ress m e n a n d p o l i t i c os .
T h e o n l y w a y to a bo l i s h n u cl e a r p o w e r i s to abolish po wer
altogether.

( 1 982)

78
 LEFT RITES

I n astro n o my, " revo l u t i o n " refe rs to a ret u r n to the sa m e

p l ace. F o r t h e l eft i t see m s t o mean a b o u t t h e s a m e . Left i s m i s
l i tera l l y react i o n a ry. J u st a s g e n erals p re p a re to f i g h t t h e l ast
war, l efti sts i n c i te the l ast revo l u t i o n . T h ey w e l c o m e i t becau s e
t h ey k n ow it fa i l ed . T h ey' re va n g u a rd i sts because t h ey' re al ways
beh i n d the ti mes. L i ke a l l lead e rs, l eft i sts are l east o b noxi o u s
w h e n fo l l ow i n g t h e i r fo l l owi n g , b u t i n certa i n c ri ses t h ey step t o
t h e fo re to m a k e t h e syst e m w o r k . I f t h e l eft/r i g ht meta p h o r h as
a n y mean i n g , it can o n l y be t h at t h e l eft i s to t h e l eft of t h e s a m e
t h i n g t h e r i g h t i s to t h e ri g ht o f . B u t w h at i f revo l u t i o n m e a n s
ste p p i n g out of line?
If t h e re were no ri g ht, t h e l eft wou l d h ave to i n ve n t i t - and it
often h as . ( Exa m p l es: C a l c u l ated h yste r i a ove r N az i s a n d K K K
w h i c h awards t h ese w i m py s l u g s t h e n o t o r i ety t h ey n eed ; o r
l owest-co m m on -d e n u n c i at i o n o f t h e M o ra l Majo rity obviati n g
u n m a n ne rl y attacks o n t h e real sou rces o f m o ra l i st ty ra n n y ­
t h e fam i l y , re l i g i o n i n g e n e ra l , a n d t h e wo rk-et h i c es p o u sed by
l eftists and C h r i s t i a n s a l i ke . ) The r i g h t l i kewise needs the left: i ts
o p e rat i o n a l defi n i t i o n i s a l ways a n t i - co m m u n i s m , vari o u s l y
d recked-out. T h u s l eft a n d r i g h t p res u p pose a n d rec reate eac h
other.
O n e bad t h i n g a b o u t bad t i mes i s t h at t h ey m a ke o p p os i t i o n
t o o easy, a s ( f o r i n sta nce) t h e c u r re n t eco n o m i c c r i s i s g ets
s h oe h o r n ed i n to a rc h a i c M a rx i st, p o p u l ist or syn d i c a l ist
categ o r i e s . The l eft t h ereby pos i t i o n s i tse l f to f u l fi l l its h i sto r i c
ro l e a s refo r m e r of t h ose i n c i d e n t a l ( a l b e i t ag o n i z i n g ) evi l s
w h i c h , properly atte n d e d to, c o n ceal t h e syst e m ' s esse n t i a l
i n eq u i t i es : h i e ra rc h y , m o ra l i s m , b u rea u c racy, wage- l a b o r ,
m o n o g a m y , g overn m e n t , m o n ey . ( H ow can M a rx i s m e v e r b e
m o re t h a n c a p i t a l ' s m ost s o p h isti cated w a y of t h i n k i n g a b o u t
itself?)

79
 C o n s i d e r t h e ac k n ow l e d g e d e p i center of t h e c u rrent c r i s i s :
work. U n e m p l oy m e n t i s a bad t h i n g . B u t i t d oesn't fo l l ow,
o u ts i d e of r i g h to- l eftist d og m a , t h at e m p l o y m e n t i s a good
t h i n g . It i s n 't. T h e " r i g h t to work , " a rg u a b l y a n a p p ro p r i ate
s l o g a n in 1 848, i s o bs o l ete in 1 982. Peo p l e d o n 't n eed wo r k .
W h at w e n eed i s sat i sfact i o n of s u bs i stence req u i re m e n t s , o n
t h e o n e h a n d , a n d o p p o rt u n i t i es fo r c reat i ve , c o n v i v i a l ,
e d u cat i ve , d i verse, pass i o n ate acti v i ty o n t h e ot h e r. Twenty
years ago the G oo d m a n b rot h e rs g u essed t h at 5 % of the l a b o r
t h e n e x p e n d e d wo u l d m eet m i n i m u m s u rvival n e e d s , a f i g u re
w h i c h m u st be l owe r today; obvi o u s l y e n t i re so-ca l l ed i n d u s t r i es
serve n ot h i n g b u t t h e p red ato ry p u rposes of com m erce a n d
coerc i o n . T h at's a n a m p l e i nf rast r u ct u re to p l ay w i t h i n c reat i n g
a w o r l d o f freed o m , co m m u n ity a n d p l e as u re w h e re
" p rod u ct i o n " of u s e-va l ues i s " c o n s u m p t i o n " of f ree g ratify i n g
act i v i ty. T ra n s fo rm i n g work i nto p l ay i s a p roj ect f o r a p r o l etari at
t h at ref uses t h at c o n d i t i o n , n ot fo r l eft i sts l eft w i t h n o t h i n g to
l ead .
P rag m at i s m , as i s o bvi o u s from a g l a n c e at its works, i s a
d e l u s i ve s n a re . U t o p i a i s s h e e r c o m m o n sense. T h e c h o i ce
betwee n " f u l l e m p l oy m e n t " a n d u n e m p l oy m e n t - t h e c h o i c e
t h at l eft a n d ri g ht c o l l ab o rate to co n f i n e u s to - i s t h e c h o i ce
betwee n t h e G u l ag a n d t h e g utte r. N o wo n d e r t h at after a l l t h ese
years a st i f l ed a n d s uffe r i n g p o p u lace i s wea ry of t h e d e m ocrat i c
l i e . T h e re a r e l ess a n d less peop l e w h o w a n t to w o r k , eve n
a m o n g t h ose w h o r i g h t l y fear u ne m p l o y m e n t , a n d m o re a n d
m o re p eo p l e w h o wa nt t o work w o n d e rs. By a l l means l et's
a g i tate for h a n d o u ts , tax cuts, f ree b ies, b read and c i rc uses -
w h y n o t b i te t h e h a n d t h at feeds y o u ? t h e f l avor i s exce l l e n t -
but without i l l usions.
T h e ( s u r) rat i o n a l k e r n e l of t r u t h i n t h e m ysti cal M a rx i st s h e l l i s
t h i s : t h e " w o rk i n g c l ass" i s t h e l e g e n d a ry " revo l u t i o n a ry a g e n t " :
b u t o n l y i f, by not working , i t a bo l i s h es class . Peren n ia l
" o r g a n izers , " l eft i sts d o n 't u n d e rsta n d t h at t h e workers h ave
a l ready been d efi n i t i v e l y " o r g a n ized" by, a n d can o n l y be
o rg a n ized for - t h e i r bosses. "Act i v i s m " i s i d iocy i f i t e n ri c h es
a n d e m powers o u r e n e m ies. Left i s m , t h at pa ras i te f o r s o re l 's ,
d reads t h e o u t b reak of a Wilhelm Reichstag fire w h i c h w i l l
c o n s u m e i ts p a rt i es a n d u n i o n s a l o n g w i t h t h e corpo rati o n s a n d
a r m i es a n d c h u rc h es c u rre n t l y c o n t ro l l e d b y i t s oste n s i b l e
o p posite.

80
 N owadays y o u h ave to b e o d d to g et eve n . G rey l i fe left i s m ,
w i t h its c h ec k l i sts of o b l i gatory a n ta g o n i s m s (to t h is-i s m , t h at­
i s m and the ot h e r- i s m : everyt h i n g but left i s m ) i s d evo i d of a l l
h u m o r a n d i mag i n at i o n : h e n c e i t c a n stag e o n l y coups, n ot
revo l u t i o n s , w h i c h c h a n g e l i es b u t n ot l i fe. B u t t h e u rg e to c reate
i s also a d estruct i ve u rg e . O n e m o re effo rt , l efti sts, if you wou l d
b e revo l ut i o n a ri es! I f y o u ' re n ot revo l t i n g a g a i nst wo r k , y o u ' re
work i n g ag a i n st revolt.

( 1 982)

81
 ELECTING NOT TO VOTE

If e l ecti o n s are, as Sart re sai d , " a t ra p fo r foo l s , " then rec e n t

vot i n g t re n d s a re i n h o pefu l c o n t rast w i t h o t h e r s i g n s of soc i a l
so m n o l e nce. N ot t h at e l ecti o n results a re g ett i n g a n y better.
T h ey n eve r w i l l , s o long as a n y body w i n s . The g o o d n ews i s the
steady g rowth of t h e n onvot i n g m aj o rity of e l i g i b l es w h i c h h as
bee n " w i n n i n g " e l e ct i o n s f o r ove r s i xty years . I n p l ace of
" majority rule" we see a n i n c reas i n g ly u n ru l y m aj o r i ty .
T h e 1 984 p res i d en t i a l e l ect i o n - t h e C o m et K a h o u t e k of
recent p o l i t i c s - s h o u l d have s h a r p l y reversed the t re n d ; i n fact
i t o n l y sta l l e d it. D e s p i te a flashy i d eo l og i c a l i n c u m be n t ; d e s p i t e
t h e a n t i cs of J esse J ackso n , t h e P reac h e r from t h e B l ack
Lag o o n ; d e s p i te t h e sa l i e n cy of t h e n u c l e a r war i s s u e a n d a
vote-or- d i e terror ca m pa i g n by f ra n t i c l eft i sts; a n d d es p i te t h e
re l at i ve d e c l i ne i n t h e s ize of t h e l ow-t u r n o u t yo u n g est age­
g ro u ps , m ost e l i g i b l e vote rs , as u s u a l , fo u n d better t h i n g s to d o .
F o r a syste m w h i c h m akes " maj o rity r u l e" t h e by-words a n d
b uzzwo rds o f state-of-th e-art stat i s m , a c h ro n i c c r i s i s s i m m e rs
w h i c h , for o n ce , w i l l h u rt T h e m m o re t h a n i t h u rts u s . I t see m s
l i ke t h e eas i e r t h e a u t h o r i t i es m a k e i t f o r t h e i r s u bj e cts t o
c o n sec rate t h e i r coerc i o n w i t h t h e i r votes , t h e l ess res ponse t o
t h e i r c o m e-o n . T h ey e n d ed pol l taxes a n d l i te racy tests , t h ey
e nfran c h i sed m i n o rities a n d 1 8 yea r o l d s , t h ey p ro v i d e d
b i l i n g u a l b a l l ots - b u t n o o n e votes less ofte n t h a n t h e
b e n efi c i a r i es of t h ese refo r m s .
" De m oc racy , " o bserved Karl K ra u s , " m ea n s t h e pe r m i s s i o n to
be eve ry body's s l ave. " I ts c l a i m e d s u p e r i o r i ty over ot h e r
o p p ress i ve a rra n g e m e nts rem a i n s , afte r ce n t u ries of p h i loso p h y
a n d p ropag a n d a , obsc u re . T h at a n a b stract, eva nesce n t
m aj o rity - of whom, i s o n e of t h e central m yste ries o f
d e m oc rat i c d og m a - c o u l d ever c l a i m m o re t h a n t h e ri g ht to
rule itse l f h as a l ways been a g ross i m pe rt i n e n ce . Yet l i b e ra l s a n d
t h e l eft i sts w h o tai l t h e m ass u re u s , w i t h a stra i g h t face, t h at
t h ose w h o part i c i pate i n e l e ct i o n s t h ereby ag ree to a b i d e by t h e
o utco m e , w h e reas t h ose w h o a bsta i n h ave n o r i g ht to co m p l a i n

83
s i n c e , after a l l , t h ey c o u l d h ave voted . T h i s r i t u a l , t h ey assu re u s ,
mag i ca l l y expan ds t h e s c o p e of l e g it i m ate a u t h o rity, i. e. , c o p
v i o l e n c e . Bewa re of d e m o c rats offe r i n g r i g hts! S u c h s o p h i s t r i es
sta n d o u t i n t h e i r proper sat i r i c a l l i g ht w h e n , year i n a n d year
o ut , the m aj o ri ty refuses to r u l e . W h at d o I care i f some cabal of
a m b i t i o u s o p p o rt u n i sts d e c l a res me a m e m be r of some c l u b I
d o n 't wa n t to j o i n ? M aj o r i ty r u l e , s h aky e n o u g h as a " ri g h t , " i s
o pe n ly m a l i g n a n t w h e n i m posed b y a m i n o r i ty a s a duty. R a l p h
" Da rth " N a d e r i s o n l y a ste p a h ead o f h i s fel l ow pater n a l i sts i n
c a l l i n g f o r c o m p u l s o ry voti n g .
T h e c o m pos i t i o n o f t h e n o n voti n g m aj o ri ty i s d i st u rb i n g t o o u r
ove rl o rd s . L i berals a n d l eftists, w h e n t h ey ' re n ot g u s h i n g s l u s h
a b o u t t h e w i s d o m of t h e peo p l e , w h e n t h ey ' re n o t p ro m i s i n g
s u cc o r t o t h e d ow n t ro d d e n , w i t h typ i c a l cy n i c i s m d efa m e
n o n voters - h i t h e rto m a i n l y poor, m i n o rity, a n d fore i g n - b o r n ­
as st u p i d , u n e d u cate d , a n d i n d i ffere n t to t h e i r c i v i c
res p o n s i b i l i t i es i f not d own ri g h t u n -A m e r i ca n . B u t by n o w t h e
vot i n g d ro p reflects t h e o n g o i n g c o m i n g-of-ag e of n e w e l i g i b l es
w h o n ever d o acq u i re t h e voti n g v i ce , a n d t h e att r i t i o n of t h os e
of t h e i r e l d e rs w h o n e v e r k i c k t h e h a b i t . M ost aren 't consc fo u s
ref u s n i ks, b u t t h e i r abse n c e f r o m t h e ro l l s today j u st may
p refi g u re refu s a l of t h e ro l es to m m o rrow.

N at u ra l l y the ( h a m ste r-) w h ee l e r-dea l e rs of the l eft d e l iver t h e

l oya l i sts w h o m a k e t h e syste m w o r k for a l l t h e i r rejective
r h eto r i c . S o d o the m i s n a m ed " l i b e rtari a n s , " some of w h o m
h a l l u c i n ate t h at t h ey ' re anarchis ts. F o r t h at m atte r, m o re t h a n a
few avowed " a n a rc h i sts" s l u n k i nto vot i n g boot h s i n 1 984, a n d
a n a r c h a-fe m i n i st " i m ag i n e " (sic) e n d o rsed M o n d a l e i n t h e
pages of C ircle A in A tlan ta , p ro m pti n g T e d L o pez to as k , W h at
d oes t h e "A" rea l l y sta n d for? M o re u s u a l l y t h ese loyal
o p pos i t i o n i sts serve up pat h e t i c n o-w i n t h i rd parties w h i c h offe r
a " c h o i ce " ; t h e c h o i c e , havi n g g o n e to t h e bot h e r of vot i n g i n t h e
fi rst p l a c e , of m a k i n g a b s o l u te l y c e rta i n ( not j u st 99 .99% c e rta i n )
o f wast i n g o n e's vote. Proposals t o reward voters w i t h g reen
sta m ps m a k e m o re sense. W h y n ot e n f ra n c h ise p i g e o n s a n d
offer t h e m pel l ets? T h e real mean i n g of " D o n 't waste you r vote"
is, don 't cast it.

84
 T h e m i n i -p a rt i e s sol i c i t votes as a f o r m of " p rotest , " b u t as a
m ed i u m of e x p ress i o n , a can of s p ray-pa i nt has i t a l l ove r any
e l ect i o n . As c o n fo r m i st as vote rs are, no two of t h e m m ea n
p re c i s e l y t h e s a m e by t h e i r votes even i f cast fo r t h e s a m e
ca n d i date.
Yet the votes as tal l ied a re a n o n y m o u s , i m pers on a l a n d
i nte rc h a ng e a b l e . A vote o n ce cast i s cast away; i t t h e n be l o n g s
t o t h e p u n d its a n d p o l i t icos to m a ke w h at t h ey w i l l of i t . A n d a
can d i date o n c e e lected w i l l tel l you w h at to d o , n o m atter w h at
went before. Y o u can't p rotest f u n d a m e n t a l s by vot i n g : voti n g i s
b o u n d u p w i t h t h e m . T h e re's n o s u c h t h i n g as voti n g against
voting.
C o n t ra ry t o the a n th i l l col l ectiv i sts, it's stu p i d to say
n o nvot i n g i s a m e r e l y perso n a l , " i n d i vi d u a l i s t i c " gestu re. W h at
c o u l d be m o re p r i vatized a n d i s o l ated t h a n cast i n g a "secret
bal l ot" ( ev i d e n t l y d es i g n e d for p eo p l e w i t h something to hide)
a l l by you rse l f w h i ch ac k n ow l e d g es you r stat u s as replaca b l e
p a rt of a p o l ity y o u n ever asked to b e l o n g t o ? C o l l ective act i o n
agai n st e l ectoral a l i e n a t i o n i s f u l l y a s feas i b l e a s r u n n i n g fo r
off i c e , b u t stra n g e l y , i t h o l d s n o a p pea l fo r power- h u n g ry
" p ro g ress i ves . "
N o need t o add ress t h e po p u l i st refo rms ( i n i t i ative,
refere n d u m , reca l l , etc. ) contrived to o u tf l a n k c o r p o rate c o n t ro l
"
o f t h e state. At best t h ey n ever worked t h at way. At wo rst t hey
beca m e the ve h i c l e for reg ress i ve " refo rms" l i ke C a l i fo rn ia's
Propos i t i o n 13 w h i c h we re KY'd i nto t h e body po l i t i c by m o n ied
caba l s w h o b u y t h e m ass m ed i a . As with t h e Ptol e m a i c syste m ,
t h e effo rt t o rect i fy t h e e l ectoral syste m w i t h e p i cyc les i n ev i t a b l y
went awry . T h e c r i s i s of d e m o c racy t ransce n d s a l l g i m m i c k ry .
Every p o l i t i c i a n ' s " p l atfo r m " i s a scaffo l d . W h i c h of two
f u n g i b l e fakers ass u mes a part i c u l a r off i c e i s a m atter of
d e c reas i n g re l eva n c e to rea l i ty. A vot e r i s fa r m o re l i ke l y t o b e
h it by a car o n t h e w a y to t h e p o l l s t h a n s/h e i s of affect i n g t h e
o u tco m e of a n e l ect i o n , to say n ot h i n g of c h a n g i n g rea l l i fe.
H o w m u c h l ower wi l l the vote tota l s g o befo re the "wi n n ers"
a re as h a m e d o r afra i d to take office?

85
 Peo p l e a re n 't as stu p i d as t h e po l it i c ians t h i n k . M o re a n d m o re
of u s are l a u g h i n g off o u r " c i v i c d uty" to vote, rej ect i n g t h e r o l e
of c o m p u l s o ry c o n st i t u e n t .
W hat i f t h ey g ave a n e l e ct i o n a n d n o body cam e ? We' l l f i n d o u t
p retty s oo n .
( 1 982, 1 98 5 )

86
 LYING IN STATE
- AND ELSEWHERE

We n e e d a p h e n o m e n o logy of ly i n g . As t h e i m m a n e n t a n d a l l ­
pervas ive ess e n ce o f o u r society, l y i n g dese rves n o less; a n d i t i s
t i m e it g ot w h at it dese rves. Let's be h o n est a b o u t d i s h o n esty .
H o w d o T hey d u pe u s? Let m e c o u n t t h e ways .
S o m e forms of fra u d , espec i a l l y t h e face-to-face o n e s , a re
h i g h ly refi ned. A f i n e fo g d es c e n d s u p o n p e o p l e c o n ve rs i n g i n
a n y o f va r i o u s s h a red i d i o m s w h o s u ppose t h e m se l ves to b e
say i n g s o m eth i n g w h e n t h ey a re j u st e m i tt i n g s i g n a l s , l i ke b i rd ­
ca l l s, w h i c h e l i ci t l i ke res ponses. I n t r u t h i t i s n ot h i n g b u t n o i se .
Advert i s i n g , N ew A g e j a rg o n , fern-bar p i c k- u p c h itc h at , a n d t h e
d i a l ects o f M a rx i s m a r e fa m i l i a r exa m p l es. M u c h m o re
ex p ress i o n t h a n c o m m u n i cat i o n , at best t h ey say l ess t h a n t h e y
see m to, a n d t h ey ' re rare l y at t h e i r b e s t . M ost of t h e " g a ps" i n t h e
N i xon tapes aren 't m issing.
T h e epitome of c o n se n s u a l d ecepti o n i s the s e l f-c o n t ra d i c t i o n
tu rned term-of-a rt , f o r exa m p l e :
O p e n m a rriage
Revo l u t i o n a ry gove r n m e n t
Law and order
R i g ht to wo r k
L i berat i o n t h e o l o g y
F ree sc h oo l s

- a n d so f o rt h .
A t t h e ot h e r p o l e ( G e n eral J a ruzel s k i , f o r i n stance) f r o m
so p h i st i c ated swi n d l i n g i s o u t r i g h t p reva ricat i o n . L i ke
c i g a rettes, b u t w i t h o u t t h e warn i n g , t h ese l i es oft e n c o m e i n
packs. Po l i t i c i a n s a n d p r i ests afford t h e c l earest exa m p les -
exa m p l es we c l ea r l y can not affo rd . T h e b u s i n ess w o r l d ( i s t he re
a n y o t h e r? ) a l so c o n ta i n s e n t i re occ u pat i o n s of m e n d acity
p rofess i o n a l s , l i ke sa l e s m e n and l awye rs. T h e re a re i n d u s t r i es

87
l i ke n u c lear powe r a n d " d efe nse" w h i c h p res u p p ose m o re t h a n
t h e l ow-l eve l daze of t h e o rd i n a ry c o n s u m e r , t h ey fo b off mega­
l i es o n a b a m booz l e d po p u l ace as a m atte r of b u s i n ess
n ecess ity. S t i l l , p o l i t i c i a n s a re the i d ea l -t ri pe l i a rs . Ly i n g ( i n
add i t i o n t o g i v i n g orders ) i s w h at w e pay t h e m fo r, o r rat h e r
what t h ey pay t h e m s e l ves fo r w i t h o u r taxes . D i p l o m acy fo r
i n sta nce is j u st fo rmal-d ress d ecept i o n . W h e n we say so m e o n e
i s be i n g " d i p l o matic" we mean t h at h e i s tel l i n g l i es to q u i et
some con f l i ct. B u t i n d i p l o m acy g ove rn m e n ts are d ea l ing w i t h
v i o l e n ce m o n o po l ies j u st l i ke t h e m se l ves a n d so t h ey l i e w i t h
m o re ca u t i o n t h a n t h ey often t a k e w i t h t h e po p u l at i o n s t h ey
c o n t ro l . Po l i t i c i a n s a re ofte n a m b i g u o u s but rare l y s u bt l e . W h y
n o t neg l ect n u a n ces w h e n you h ave m ost of a co u n t ry's g u n me n
a t yo u r co m m a n d ?
A p ri st i n e a n d exe m p l a ry B i g L i e i s , f o r i nsta n ce , b u i lt i n t o
a l m ost eve ry p u b l i c refere n c e t o "terro ri s m . " Properly t h e word
refe rs to the u s e of v i o l e n ce a g a i nst n o n c o m batants fo r po l i t i c a l
p u r poses . T h e C e n t ra l A m e r i c a n d eath sq u ad s o r t h e Sovi et
a i rd rops of ex p l o s i ve "toys" for Afg h a n c h i l d ren to m a i m
themse lves w i t h are exa m p l es. T h e i d ea i s to i m pose o n e ' s w i l l ,
n ot b y d i rect coerc i o n o f t h ose t o b e co n t ro l l e d , b u t b y i nsti l l i n g
fea r i n t h e m , i. e. , "terro r . " N o h a rm i n havi n g a wo rd for a n
act i v ity w h i c h , w h ateve r i ts p ros a n d c o n s , d i ffers i n s o m e
res pect from w a r , c r i m e , c i v i l d i sorder, etc.

It i s prec i s e l y these d i st i n ct i o n s w h i ch the pol i t i c i a n s and t h e i r

acad e m i c a n d j o u rn a l i s t i c ca m p fol l ow e rs u s e t h e wo rd to
o bs c u re. To t h e m , a l l p o l i t i c a l v i o l e nce, va n d a l i s m o r eve n m e re
t u m u lt i s "terro r i s m " unless t h e terrori sts wear u n i f o r m s .
G overn m e n ts t h e refo re ca n n ot e n g a g e i n te r ro r i s m , n o m atte r
w h at t h ey d o , w h e reas a n t i-state v i o l en ce i s a l ways t e r ro ri s m
even i f i t c o n s i sts of attacks by o n e m i l i ta ry force a g a i nst
a n o t h e r. The m assac res c o n d u cted b y A me r i ca's S a l vadorean
n at i ve a u x i l i a r i es ; I s rae l i b o m b i n g of P a l est i n i a n refu g ee cam ps
or k i d n a p p i n g of L e b a n ese h ostages; even the Ca m b od i a n a n d
Afg h a n h o l ocau sts, s o s a n ct i m o n i ou s l y bewa i l e d , o r S o u t h
African j a i l h o use k i l l i n g s a re , because t h ey a re state-sa n c t i f i e d
s l a u g h ters, n ot terrorist. Terro r i s m i s not so m u c h a m a t t e r of
mayhem and m u rd e r as i t i s of s a rto r i a l co rrect ness. S o l d i e rs are
terro r i sts w h o were c a ref u l to d ress fo r s u ccess. T h at i s e n o u g h
t o l et t h e m a n ag e rs of p u b l i c o p i n i on s l ee p sou n d l y , i f n ot

88
n ecessari l y for as l o n g as t h e P res i d e n t d i d w he n , d e s p i te t h e
b l ow i n g - u p of G re n a d a n m e n t a l pat i e nts a n d t h e g u n n i n g d o w n
of C u ba n c o n s t r u ct i o n workers , h e repo rted t h at , as u s u a l , h e
s l ept we l l .
I t i s re m a rka b l e h ow wel l t h i s p l oy works. T h e oth e rw i s e
a b u sed S a n d i n i stas we re terrori sts t i l l t h e mag i c m o m e n t t h e y
s u p p l anted ( a s l ate r t h ey p l anted) S o m oza. P res i d e nt R o b e rt
M u g a b e was a b l ack "ter" u n t i l h i s t ra n s u bsta n t i at i o n i nto a
Z i m babwean states m a n . W h e n S h i ' ites take A m e r i c a n h ostages
they a re te rro r i sts. W h e n I s rae l i s take S h i ' i te h ostages i t i s - a
v i o l a t i o n of i nternat i o n a l law, perhaps, o r cause for restra i ned
c r i t i c i s m , but n ot by a n y m ea n s terrori s m . Despite i ts
hypocritical c r u d ity, t h e terro r i s m h oax h as g o n e over we l l . T h e
G . l . J o e d o l l , m u stered o u t of service fo r a few yea rs afte r t h e
W a r T h at D a re N ot S peak I ts N am e , has m a d e a co m e bac k . N ow
h e f i g h ts terro r i sts.
T h at the a u t h o ri t i e s , l i ke the a u t h o ritarians who e n vy t h e m , l i e
syste m at i ca l ly i s n o n ews. Karl K ra u s a n d G eorge O rwel l s a i d as
m u c h . B u t t h e y h ave refi n e d or at any rate a u g m e n ted t h e i r
sca ms. O u r c o m p l ex soci ety , rest i n g o n coerced c o n s e n t , h as
c o m e u p w i t h modes of m a n i p u l at i o n so adva n ced t h at
fa l s i f i c at i o n can be m i n i m i zed , eve n e l i m i n ated w i t h o u t t h e t r u t h
gett i n g o u t . T h e system j u st overw h e l m s u s w i t h i n fo r m at i o n s o
t r i v i a l as to deserve its was h e d - o u t word " d ata" u nt i l t h e few
m atters of real i m p o rtance are l eveled down a n d out of m i n d .
T h e sca l e a n d struct u re o f s oc i ety p reve n t peo p l e f r o m
i m m ed i ate l y ex p e ri e n c i n g it, o r each o t h e r . K n ow l e d g e i s
f rag m e n ted i n to artifi c i a l i s o l ates a n d ass i g ned to e n d o g a m o u s
experts. I n acad e m i a t h ese exc l us i vi t i es deserve t h e sado­
masoc h i st con n otati o n s of w h at they a re ca l l ed , " d i s c i p l i n es . "
T h e soc i a l d i v i s i o n o f l a b o r - s p l i nteri n g i n teg ra l l y expe r i e n ced
l ife i nto f o rced-f i t sta n d a rd i zed " ro l es" - exte n d ed i nto
awa ren ess, rep rod uces itse l f w h i le cove ri n g i ts own t rac ks.
R u l es a n d roles re n d e r u s as i nterc h a n g e a b l e as the
com m od i t i es w h ose p ro d u ct i o n i s o u r dest r u ct i o n . No w o n d e r
t h at, a s Karl M a rx o n ce rema rked befo re beco m i n g a p o l i t i c i a n ,
" t h e o n l y c o m p re h e n s i b l e l a n g u ag e we h ave i s t h e l a n g u ag e o u r
possess i o n s u se toget h e r . " We n eed a n o t h e r o n e . A n d we n eed
u n h u rried a n d u n h a r r i ed occas i o n s of w o rd l ess repose.
Revo l u t i o n req u i res a n a n t i - i d i ot i c i d i o m express i n g the as yet

89
u n s peaka b l e . T h e l ove t h at d a re n ot speak its n a m e has t h e
j u m p o n t h e ot h e r o n e , l i be l l ed by l a b e l s , w h ose n a m e i s t a k e n i n
va i n a n d never ret u rned t o t h e r i g h tf u l ow n e rs .
T h e c o r r u pt i o n of l a n g u ag e prom otes t h e corru pti o n of l i fe. I t
i s e v e n i t s p re req u i s i te. A fi rst ste p toward peace a n d freed o m ­
i m poss i b l e now u n d e r c l ass soc i ety a n d its b u s i n ess e n d , t h e
state - i s to c a l l t h i n g s b y t h e i r true n a mes. T h u s t h e d i ffere n c e
between t h e operat i ves of t h e m i l itary-i n d ustri a l - p o l i t i c a l ­
j o u r n a l i st i c c o m p l ex a n d t h e s m a l l fry m a l i g n ed by t h e m e d i a a s
"terro rists" i s o n l y t h e d i fference between w h o l es a l e a n d reta i l .
War i s m u rd e r . Taxat i o n i s t h eft . C o n s c r i p t i o n i s s l ave ry .
L a i ssez-fa i re i s tota l itari a n . A n d (says D e b o rd ) , " i n a w o r l d really
t u rned o n its head , t h e t r u e is a m o m e n t of t h e false . "

( 1 982, 1 985)

90
 CIR CLE A DECEIT: A Review of
..

Processed World

Processed World i s a we l l - p rod uced , s o m eti m es fu n ny,

m ostly j a r g o n -free1 a n t i -a u t h o ri t a r i a n S a n Fran c i sco magaz i n e
focused o n t h e i n form ati o n wo rkers w h o t o i l i n t h e F i n a n c i a l
D i strict a n d ot h e r c i tad e l s of capital i s m . After s i x i s s u e s o f
seve ra l t h o u s a n d cop ies eac h , P W has p i c ked u p a c e rta i n c u lt
fo l l owi n g d owntown a n d can c l a i m to b e t h e m ost rad i c a l
p u b l i cat i o n i n t h e a rea fo r its scal e of o p e rat i o n s . I t's good to s e e
a 60-70 p a g e l eft p u b l icat i o n w h i c h d i s pe n ses w i t h t h e u s u a l
a n t i -Reag a n i st b a n a l i t i es a n d t r i es to deal w i t h wage- l a bo r ,
i n d ustrial tech n o l ogy a n d t h e re p ress ive rea l ity of everyday
expe r i e n ce .
G ra n t i n g a l l that, however, m y c o n s i d e red o p i n i o n of P W i s
m a i n l y c r i t i ca l . I ts " l i n e " - d es p ite d i s c l a i mers, t h e re i s a
d efi n ite t h o u g h d i ssi m u lated P W i de o l o g y - i s m o re
c o n s e rvat ive t h a n i t l oo ks. T h at wo u l d n ot be so bad i f P W
o pe n l y avowed its p o l i t ics a n d fa i rl y d e bated i t w i t h d i ss i d e n t
d i ss i d ents, b ut t h at's j u st w h at P W d oes n ot p e r m i t . Bad fa i t h
perm eates t h e p u b l icat i o n , a n d t h e caref u l ly-c o n t ri ved i m age i t
p rese nts to i t s read e rs i s f u n d a m e n ta l l y d i s h o n est. I f t h e re's
a n yt h i n g worse than ove rt L e n i n ist va n g u a rd i s m , it's s u b l i m i n a l ,
a n arch o- N e c h eyev ist van g u a rd i s m . T h i s I p ro pose t o expose.
P W p u r p o rts to b e the wo rk of " d i s s i d e n t off i ce w o r kers" w h o
a re fo reve r re iterat i n g t h e i r n o n s ecta r i a n , o p e n- m i n d e d ,
c o m m o n-sense q u a l i t ies: just folks, n ot a n o t h e r g a n g of
i d e o l o g ues. T h e i r c o m e-on i s to a l l evi ate o rd i n a ry workers'
n atu ral s u s p i c i o n of o rg a n izer-ty pes by sayi n g , " H e c k , we're
w h i te-co l l a r c o m m ut e r work i n g st i ffs j u st l i ke yo u , o n l y we
h ap p e n to write, d es i g n , p u b l i s h and d i st r i bute a s l i c k m a g az i n e
eve ry t h ree m o n t h s . "
T h at's a l l fa lse p retenses.2 O ff i c e workers d o n 't a n d p ro b a b l y
n ever d i d m a ke u p a m aj o r i ty of t h e c o l l ective. T h e exact ce n s u s
f i g u res a re i n a n y case less i m po rta n t t h a n t h e i m p l i cat i o n that
P W's a n t i -esta b l i s h m e n ta r i a n i d eas a rose s p o n ta n e o u s l y in th e

91
m i n d s of h it h e rto- i n n ocent F i n a n c i a l D i st r i ct d ro n es w h ose
w o r k p l ace expe r i e n ce , in t h e best eco n o m i st i c M a rx i st t rad i t i o n ,
m e c h a n i c a l l y e n g e n d ered t h e i r "anti-aut h o ri tari a n i s m . " T h e
l atter b u zzword , by t h e way, i s itse l f part of t h e cove r- u p . I t' s a
e u p h e m i s m fo r a wo rd ofte n o n t h e l i ps of P W's b u t rare l y see n
i n t h e magaz i n e: ( h o rrors ! ) anarchism. 3 D o n ' t g o f r i g hten i ng t h e
sec reta ries n ow ! M aybe l ater, after we've o r g a n ized t h e w o r k i n g
c l ass . . . b u t n ot n ow.
The truth i s t h at t h e d o m i n a n t fact i o n of P W - i n c l u d i n g the
ru l i ng t ro i ka of " M ax i n e H o lz , " " L u c i u s C a b i n s " and " Lo u is
M ic h ae l s o n " - i s t h e p ro-te c h w i n g of t h e n o w d ef u nct U n i o n of
C o nce rned Co m m i e s , w h i c h reg ro u ped a n u m be r of ref u gees
from s i t u ati o n i st g ro u p l ets and oth e r l i bert a r i a n and l eft
com m u n i sts at t h e e n d of t h e 1 970's. A l m ost a l l P W's h ave l o n g
p o l i t i c a l ped i g rees, w i t h m a n y i n vo l ved i n c o n c u rrent p rojects
ra n g i n g from the a n a rc h o-sy n d i c a l i st m ag azi n e Ideas & A c tion
to A n o m i e ' s n i h i l i st c o l l a g e s . W h e t h e r or n ot th ese peo p l e work
in off ices, t h ey a re p o l i t i c a l act i v i sts esse n t i a l l y , as reg a rd s t h e i r
perso n a l p r i o r i t i es a n d s e l f-con cepts, a n d workers o n l y
i nc i d e n ta l l y. ( H o l z , f o r i n sta n c e , from t i m e to t i m e d oes off i c e
work, b u t s h e learned h e r cou n c i l i s m as a Berkeley stu d e n t f ro m
h e r t h e n teac h e r M i c ha e l so n . ) 4
Eve r s i n c e d i scontented staffe r " G i d g et D i g it" l et t h e ( b l ack)
cat partway o u t of t h e bag in P W #5, t h e t ro i ka h as t r i e d to p u t it
back in by a co m b i n at i o n of vag u e ac k n ow l e d g e m e n t of p r i o r
p o l i t i c a l i nv o l v e m e nts a n d veh e m e n t i n s i stence t h at P W, i n
M i c h ae l s o n 's w o r d s (#6 ) , " w a s n ot c o n c e i ved by p rofessi o n a l
l eftists, ' profess i o n a l revo l u t i o n a r i es ' w h o marched i nto t h e
F i n a n c i a l D i st r i ct t o e d u cate t h e w h ite-co l l a r masses . " T h i s f ro m
t h e same g u y w h o borrowed a n i d ea f ro m t h e P ro g ressive L a b o r
Party by propos i n g t h at u n e m p l oyed P W's i n f i lt rate a selected
b u s i n ess and fo m e n t revo l u t i o n t h e re ! C h e l i ves!5 B ut I wou l d n 't
want to be o n e of t h e real wor kers e n trapped by h i t-a n d - r u n
l eftist p rovocate u rs. Fo rt u nate l y o t h e r P W's vetoed t h e sc h e m e .
A s u bt l e r m a n i p u l at i o n i s c o n ce a l ed i n t h e very defi n i t i o n o f
t h e P W p roj ect , w h i c h i s rea l l y extrao rd i na r i l y n a r row. W h o
w o u l d have t h o u g h t t h at San Franci sco off ice workers ,
espec i a l ly t h ose i n t h e i n formati o n i n d u stry, a re so i m p o rtant o r
d i st i n ct i ve a s t o j u st i fy 20 o r m o re rad i ca l s p rod u c i n g a reg u l a r

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magaz i n e add ressed to t h e m s p ec i f i ca l ly? H u m i l i at i o n by
bosses, t h e speed - u p , ass- k i ss i n g , d is c r i m i n at i o n , m a kewo r k
a n d ove rwo r k - a l l occ u r a s m u c h i n t h e fact o ry o r t h e store a s
i n t h e off i ce , a s often i n t h e sticks as i n t h e h i p metropo l i s . I f
t h e re i s so m et h i n g spec i a l a b o u t t h ese workers , w h y d o n 't t h e
P W's d i s c l ose w h at i t i s ? O r a r e t h ey targ e ting a market b y
p a n d e r i n g to S a n F r a n c i sco s o l i ps i s m ?
For t h at m atter, t h e re's n ot h i n g new a b o u t t h e c o u n c i l
co m m u n i s m w h i c h , w i t h t h e sca ry po l it i ca l words a i r b r u s h e d
o u t , i s touted o n c e o r t w i c e i n a pse u d o-off h a n d w a y i n every
i s s u e . Why n ot acq u a i n t the u nwas h ed m asses w i t h the h i g h
p o i n ts o f t h e d iss i d e n t trad i t i o n ? I t h i n k s o m e o f P W's read e rs
wo u l d atte n d to s u c h s u bjects w i t h i nterest a n d i ntel l i ge n c e . T h e
n o t i o n t h at P W s reade rs a re t o o d u m b o r too d e l i cate fo r s o m e
h i st o ry o r r i g o ro u s a n a l y s i s bespeaks a d e e p c o n t e m pt f o r t h e
m a n i p u l ated o n t h e p a rt of t h e i r m a n i p u l ators. I f P W c a n
a rt i c u l ate i t s real m essage w i t h o u t reso rt t o t h e o l d j argo n ,
g reat! B u t i f i t c a n ' t tel l t h e t r u t h w i t h o u t u s i n g a te n d e n t i o u s
te r m i n o l o g y , i t i s bette r to use i t t h a n to c o n ceal w h at's g o i n g
o n . I f t h e wood e n s h oe fits, wear i t !
We a re to l d t h at P W's are d i ve rse i n t h e i r v i ews. T h i s i s t r u e .
H oweve r, t h e o rd i n ary rea d e r h as to t a k e P W's w o rd fo r it, s i n c e
t h e va r i o u s defi n ite ten d e n c i es re p rese nted, from a n a rc h o­
synd i c a l i s m o n t h e ri g h t to p ro-s i t u a u to n o m i s m o n t h e left, a re
n ever set f o rt h . T h e act u a l ed i to ri a l p rocess at P W red u ces its
p roc l a i med p l u ra l i s m to a s h a m . Fo r i n stan ce , t h e author of a
p i ece of f i ct i o n was tw ice req u i red to rew rite t h e e n d i n g to m a k e
i t i de o l o g i ca l l y c o r rect. Letters u n d e rg o u n ac k n ow l e d g e d
e d i t i n g , a n d w h i l e t h e re i s a l ways s pace fo r a c o u p l e of content­
free " o h wow! " fan l etters , c r i t i c i s m i s s u p p ressed u n l ess i t i s s o
stu p i d t h at t h e writer can be s e t u p for a c ru s h i n g refutat i o n .
I n deed m u c h of t h e l etters c o l u m n i s p re-em pted b y P W staff.
I f t h e re i s a n ovelty i n t h e P W h o u se i de o l o g y , i t l i es i n t h e
conten t i o n t h at c o m p uters a n d i n fo r m at i o n t e c h h ave m a d e
poss i b l e g l o b a l p a rt i c i pati o n i n prod u cti o n p l a n n i n g . T h e
fet i s h i s t i c fantas ies s o m et i mes p r i n ted - h i nt i n g of u n n at u ra l
re l at i o n s between secretaries a n d t h e i r cal c u l ators, etc . -
s u g g est t h at s o m e P W's h ave a s u s pect psyc h i c sta ke i n t h e
d ream of a p u s h button pa rad ise. B u t t h e p ros pect i s o n l y
asse rted , n ot a rg u ed o r a n a l ysed. C o n s i d e r i n g t h at t h e tech

93
i s s u e was sa l i en t i n t h e fo u nd i ng of P W, it's c rass t h at n o
c r i t i q u e of t h e i d ea t h at " t h e re i s n o t h i n g i n h e re n t l y b a d a b o u t
c o m p u t e r tec h n o logy" (#1 ) i s a l l owed i n its p a g e s . F o r o n e
t h i n g , i t w o u l d e m ba rrass t h e p ro-tec h s to revea l t h at t h e y h ave
c r i t i cs m o re rad i c a l t h a n t h ey are.6
S i m i l a rl y , PW's a n i madvers i o n s o n work a re a l ways q u a l i f i e d
b y "as we k n ow i t " o r s o m e s u c h , o r rep l aced by s o m e safe
p h rase l i ke "wage- l a b o r . " T h e i m p l icat i o n i s t h at s o m e so rt of
fo rced labor i s to c o n t i n ue . S o m e p eo p l e , i n c l u d i n g myse l f ,
d e n y t h e necess i ty of t h i s , b u t o u r vi ews ca n n ot a p pe a r i n P W
d e s p i te t h e i r re l eva n c e to i ts a n n o u nced c o n ce r n s . M aybe
revo l ut i o n d oes not d e pe n d u po n eve n a rat i o n a l ize d ,
p a rt i c i pato ry- d e m o c rat i c eco n o m y w h i c h sti l l s u b o r d i nates
h u m an l i fe to the p ro d u c t i o n of c o m m o d i t i es. M aybe i t refers to
a n ew way of l ife, t o soc i a l relati o n s a m o n g c reat i ve c o n v i v i a l
p l ayers. S o m e of P W's c l i e n t b a s e of " n asty sec reta ri es" a n d
" d i ss i d e n t off ice worke rs " m i g ht rat h e r fo n d l e eac h oth e r t h a n
t h e i r ca l c u l ato rs. P W w i l l s p a re t h e m t h e c o n f u s i o n s u c h n o t i o n s
m i g ht i ns p i re a m o n g t h e t h e o ret i ca l ly u n l ette red .
T i m i d ity a b o u t work t e n d s to t r i v i a l ize t h e strai n of h u mo r
w h i c h is o n e o f t h e m a g az i n e's best feat u res. T h e A m e ri c a n
off i c e h as l o n g s u sta i n e d a m i l d , h a r m l essly i n s u bord i nate
c u l t u re of a n t i - boss h u m o r and g r i p i n g . But as h u m o r g oes, t h e
a n t i cs of Dagwood a n d M r. D i t h e rs are p retty l o w i n
d estab i l iz i n g capacity. I te m s wh i c h m ig ht take o n a h a rd e r e d g e
i n a n ex p l i c i t a n t i -work c o n text - s u c h as T o m W a r d ' s s o n g
l yrics, g ra p h ics by G reg J a m ro c k a n d F red d i e Bae r a m o n g
o t h e rs , M e l i n da G e b b i e's h i l a r i o u s acco u n t of t e m p wo rk a t a pet
h os p i t a l - d o n 't work as we l l as t h ey m i g ht e l sewhere.7 PW may
re i nfo rce the t rad i t i o n of g ro u s i n g by w h i c h A m e r i c a n wo rke rs
b l ow off stea m i n stead of gett i n g stea m e d a n d b l o w i n g off wo r k .
Eve n as i d e f r o m rece n t l eaks, i t c o u l d n ot h ave m u c h l o n g e r
escaped atte n t i o n h o w a n oste n s i b l y e c lecti c c o l l ocati o n o f
office m a l c o ntents l i n es u p a l o n g a we l l -d efi n e d spect r u m o f
l eftist o p i n i o n . Q u i te t h e c o i n c i d e n ce t h at t h i s a l eato ry a n t i ­
a u t h o ri t a ri a n co m b i ne h a s rep ro d uced i n f i n e deta i l t h e
s i g n i f i c a n t i de o l o g ies of t h e a n a rc h i st left! For a l o n g t i m e ,
t h o u g h w i t h i n c reas i n g m i s g i v i n g s , I was i n c l i ned to exc u s e
P W 's l i tt l e p reva ricat i o n s beca use, after a l l , f roze n d og m a a n d

94
rhetori c do p u t p eo p l e off w h o m i g ht f i n d s o m e va l i di ty i n t h e
s a m e i d eas e n co u nte red w i t h o u t precon c e pt i o n s . B ut a t s o m e
p o i n t t h e vei l s h o u l d h ave b e e n stri p pe d away: better t o p u t
p eo p l e o f f t h a n p u t peo p l e o n . P W t reats its a u d i e n ce as a m ass
to be fl attered a n d foo l e d . D o s h e e p d re a m of e l ectric a n d ro i d s ?
T h ey d o i f t h ey read Pro cessed World.
( 1 982)

95
 NOTES O N " CIRCLE-A DECEIT"

1 . T h e p u b l i c at i o n of t h i s revi ew i n Appeal t o Reason ( J a n u a ry

1 983) coi n c i d ed w i t h t h e exc l u s i o n o r w i t h d rawa l , w i th i n s i x
m o n t h s , of every o n e res po n s i b l e fo r t h e h u m o r o u s , l i terate, o r
o t h e rw i se i nterest i n g c o n t r i b ut i o n s ; a n d t r i te l eft ist j a rg o n
( c a p i ta l i st " h ye n as , " etc . ) h as t a k e n t h e i r p l ace.
2 . P W to this d ay p ret e n d s to b e " by a n d for d i s s i d e n t offi c e
workers , " b u t its i nte r n a l d oc u m ents, d i sc l osed by d i sg ru n t l e d
ex-staffers, p rove ot h e rw i s e . E d i t ri x " M axi n e H o lz " ( Ca i t l i n
M a n n i n g ) , for i n stan c e , i s t h e g ra n d d a u g h t e r o f c a rto o n i st A I
C a p p , from w h o m s h e i n he rited $7000 b u t n ot , reg retta b l y , a
s e n se of h u m o r. " L a H o n c hessa , " as t h e P W p ro les u sed to ca l l
h e r be h i n d h e r bac k , g rew u p i n M ex i c o , s u rro u n ded b y
servants, a s i t u a t i o n s h e h as s u ccessf u l ly rep rod uced i n S a n
F ra n c isco. H e r i n h e ritance a n d oth e r fa m i l y s u bve n t i o n s f i n a n ce
P W as wel l as a typesett i n g b u s i ness. H e r b oy-f r i e n d a n d
b u s i n ess part n e r " L u c i u s Ca b i n s " ( C h risto p h e r C a r l ss o n ) , w h o
g rew u p i n a n aff l u e n t East Bay s u b u rb i s , c o m pared to ot h e r P W
b l u e- b l oo d s , a ve rita b l e H o rat i o A l ge r , eve n if his
acco m p l i s h m e n ts a re l i m i ted t o g o l d-d i g g i n g . R o u n d i n g o u t t h e
re i g n i n g T ro i ka i s " L o u i s M i c h ae l s o n " (Ad a m C o r n fo rd ) , a n
u p per-c l ass E n g l i s h t w i t d esce n d e d fro m t h e c l as s i c i st F . M .
C o rnford a n d n o n e o t h e r t h a n C h a r l es D a rw i n . I n a rej o i n d e r to
t h i s review he j o ked (as I t h e n ass u m e d ) t h at "we a re a l l
i n de p e n d e n t l y wea l t h y , " b u t t h at's exactl y w h at t h ese s i d e l i n es
revo l u t i o n a ry c h ee r l e a d e rs are. As i t h a p p e n s , t h e few b o n a f i d e
d i ss i d e n t office workers were e l i m i n ated i n t h e T r o i ka's p u rges.
3 . When t h i s was w ri tten a n arch i sts we re a s u bsta n t i a l
c o nt i n g e n t , m ay b e a m aj o rity of t h e staff, b u t w h at t h i s rev iew
fa i l ed to stress was t h at M a rx i sts t h e n , as a l ways, c a l l e d the
s h ots. Few, i f a n y a n a rc h i sts work f o r PW today.
4 . Fo r i nsta n c e , Cornford , P W e n fo rcer T o m Ath a n as i o u ( t h ey
s e n t h i m to assa u l t m e i n N ovem be r 1 984) a n d c o n t r i b ut o r T o m
Ward co l l a b o rated o n t h e co u n c i l-com m u n i st n ews paper Ne w

97
Morning i n B e r ke l ey i n 1 973 , a n d o n m a n y p roj ects s i n c e . I n t h e
m i d - 1 970's Cornford , t h e n a Teac h i n g Ass i stant at U C B e r k e l ey ,
sed u ced h i s stu d e n t M a n n i ng b o t h sex u a l l y a n d i d e o l o g i c a l l y .
5 . A n o t h e r g a n gster i s t h e m o re l i ke l y i n s p i rat i o n fo r t h i s p l oy:
Lyn d o n L a R o u c h e , J r. of t h e U . S . Labo r Party ( f o r m e r l y the
N at i o n a l Caucus of Labo r C o m m ittees) w h i c h started o n t h e fa r
l eft a n d e n d ed u p a se m i -fas c i st c u l t . T h e p ro- s i t u g ro u p F o r
O u rse l ves to w h i c h C o r n f o rd o n ce be l o n g e d broke u p ove r
( a m o n g ot h e r th i n g s ) t h e g rav i tat i o n of C o rnford a n d oth e rs
toward t h e hyper-dete r m i n i st koo k-eco n o m i s m of t h e m id -70's
L a R o u c h ists. ( P rev i o u s l y , F o r O u rse l ves - w i t h o u t , as To m
Wa rd a n d G reg D u n n i n g t o n te l l m e , a n y se r i o u s i n p u t f ro m
C o r n fo rd - p ro d uced t h e exce l l e n t c om m u n i st eg o i st essay
The Rig h t to b e G reedy, n ow ava i l a b l e i n a L oo m pa n i c s re p r i nt. )
6 . T h e i n i t i a l , fake- i n g e n u o u s react i o n to t h i s p o i n t was t h at ,
g ee , n o b o d y eve r c r i t i c ized tec h n o l og y , we're a l l ears! We n o w
k now t h at P W h as s u p p ressed c r it i q u es of i n d u s t r i a l tec h n o l og y
s i n c e 1 98 1 . I n fact B r i a n K a n e , w h o a d d ressed a p red o m i n a n t l y
f r i e n d l y l ette r to P W b a c k t h e n w h i c h too k i s s u e w i t h t h e p ro­
tec h eff u s i o n s of ( s e l f-e m p l oyed co m p u te r c o n s u l ta n t) To m
Ath a n as i o u , was t h reate n ed by Ca rlsson a n d M a n n i n g w i t h t h e
asse rt i o n t h at "Tom Ath a n as i o u i s n ot a pac i f i s t ! " ( A n d i nd ee d
h e i s n 't . I n t h e off i c i a l A ba l o n e A l l i a n ce n e ws p a p e r w h i c h P W
a l so c o n t r o l s , Ath a n as i o u , act u a l l y e n d o rses a U . S . G o ve r n m e n t
n uc l ea r a rse n a l a n d h i g h-tech " Pe o p l es ' Sta r Wars "
c o m p uterize d m i ssi l e wea p o n ry . A n d h e p ractices w h a t h e
d oes n 't p reac h , h e t r i e d a n d fai led t o j u m p m e from be h i nd
o u t s i d e m y res i d e nce i n N ove m be r 1 984 . )
7 . T h e fate o f t h ese i n d i v i d u a l s , w h o m I t h e n vi ewed a s P W's
p os i t i ve s i d e , i s i n st r u ctive. Ward h a s n ' t c o n t r i b uted to P W i n
years. N e i t h e r has J a m ro c k , w h o c h a racte rized C o rnford 's
reb u tta l to this review as " pathet i c . " Ba e r, P Ws o n e-ti m e
w o r k h o rse p ri nter, s l i n ked away h o p i n g h e r d efect i o n wou l d
p ass u n n ot i ced ( i t d i d n ' t ) . O n ly G e b b i e re m a i n s , pres u m a b l y
beca use s h e i s Co rnford's g i rl-fri e n d .
8 . S i n c e th i s revi ew a p pe a re d , P W h a s d e g e n e rated i nto a
l eftist c u l t , c o m b i n i n g v i o l e n t attac k s w i t h p o l i c e s n i tc h i n g i n a
c o m p re h � n s i ve c a m pai g n to e l i m i n ate its Bay A rea c r i t i cs. I ts
acco m p l i s h m e n ts to d ate i nc l u d e batte ry, b u rg l a ry , rob bery,

98
perj u ry , h a rass m e n t a n d a b u se of p rocess ( P W had depl oyed a
c o r p o rate l aw f i rm w h i c h has d e m a n d e d , a m o n g oth e r t h i n g s ,
a n i nj u n ct i o n agai n st m y " m e n ti o n i n g " Processed World - b u t
w i t h o u t s u ccess ) . By a n d l a rge t h e " a n t i - a u t h o r i ta r i a n " m i l i e u
sti l l be n d s ove r f o r P W, a l t h o u g h t h e re i s s o m e s ma l l resi sta n c e .
A s f o r m yse l f , P W's l awye rs, g o o n s a n d m o ney h ave o b l i ged m e
t o m ove e l se w h e re , a t g reat cost. A n y body w h o t h i n ks t h e
a n a rc h i st/a n t i -aut h o ritar i a n m i l i e u wo u l d of c o u rse ral l y to m y
d efense o bvi o u s l y h as n 't fat h o med anyt h i n g I 've s a i d i n t h i s
book.
( 1 985)

99
 REVIEW OF " CONAN "

W e we n t t o catc h " C o n a n t h e Barbari a n " at a m i d-day barg a i n

m at i nee, we l l -atte n d e d by ot h e r l aya b o u ts too. T h e f l i c k is s u re
to e n g e n d e r cascades of c r i t i c a l c o n d es ce n s i o n , n ot e n t i re l y
u nwa r ra n ted , b u t I l i ked i t bette r t h a n a n y f i l m revi ew I ever h ope
to see, eve n t h i s one. Let m e stra i g hten o u t the m a n d ar i n s o n a
few p o i nts.
The H e a rst revi ewer cal l s Conan " t h e c o m i c-st r i p hero," but
t h at's m i s l e ad i ng except as a d i s p l ay of t h e l i m its of h i s
e ru d i t i o n . T h e l ite rat i n eve r n o t i c e a n y k i n d o f p o p u l a r c u l t u re
u nt i l i t's d ead o r d y i n g (at t h e i r h a n d s , as often as n ot) , be i t
E l izabet h a n d ra m a o r p u n k roc k . S o i t i s w i t h t h e p u l p f i ct i o n of
the 1 920s and '30s . The E n g l i s h p rofesso rs h ave b e l ated l y
accorded a m od est rest i n g - p l ace i n t h e i r l itera ry m a u so l e u m t o
t h e h o rro r fantas i st H . P . Lovecraft, p e r h a ps because h e has n o
s u ccessors worth a d a m n . B u t t h ey i g n o re h i s f r i e n d R o b e rt E .
H oward , n otwithsta n d i n g t h e i m pecca b l e c red e n t i a l s o f h is
a nteced e n ts s u c h as W i l l ia m M o rr i s a n d L o rd D u nsany. Yet
H oward c reated the swo rd-a n d -so rce ry s p ec i es of the h e r o i c
fan tasy g e n u s , w h i c h sti l l h as e m i n e n t p ract i t i o n e rs ( Fr i tz
Lei ber, M i ch ae l M o o rc oc k , J a c k Va nce) today; a n d h is c reat i o n
C o n a n i s a n a rc hetype l i ke l y to l u rk i n p o p u l a r awa re ness a s
l o n g a s S h e r l o c k H o l m e s o r F ra n k e n ste i n .
H oward was at l e ast as effect ive a sto ry-te l le r as Lovec raft ,
p ro b a b l y m o re so, b u t w h at sets h i m apart from t h e ot h e r we i rd
w r i te rs i n h i s bette r work i s a h e r o i c fata l i s m w h i c h is u tte rly
p i t i l ess, sta r k a n d u n ro m a n t i c .
H oward , u n l i ke h is e n fee b l ed c o n t i n u ators L . S p rag u e d e
C a m p a n d L i n C a rter, st ressed t h e s word s i d e of swo rd a n d
so rcery; t h e sorcery s i d e i s t o d ay a n e m b arrass m e n t , t h e
p l ayg ro u n d of i l l i te rates l i ke C a rter a n d l e s b i a n d octri n a i res l i ke
E l izabeth Lyn n ( t h e o n l y i m p o rta n t except i o n : t h e i n i m itabl e
J a c k Va n ce ) .
H owa rd's o bsess i o n w i t h v i o l e n c e - m e a n i ng less, yet a rea l
" pe a k expe r i e n ce " i n a world stri p ped of a u t h e n t i c a d ve n t u re -

1 01
i s s u r p r i s i n g l y " m o d e r n , " d es p i te t h e p re-At l a n tean sett i n g . T h e
m o v i e i s g e n e ra l l y fait h f u l t o t h e H oward o r i g i n a l , u p to a p o i n t .
T h e b l ood-and-g uts a r e sat isfy i n g i f ( l i ke m e ) y o u l i ke t h at so rt
of th i n g . As C h ri s Estey says , it's " h ac k work" i n e very sense.
T h e l i m b- l o pp i n g i s act u a l l y m i n i ma l c o m p a red to t h e H oward
sto ries a n d , for t h at m atte r, m ost Peck i n pa h o r sam u ra i o r
rece nt h o rror movies. ( H oweve r, i t s u ff i ced t o re n d e r
" c o n f u s i n g " to t h e S a n Francisco B ay G ua rdian 's s n o b b i s h , yet­
s u p e rse n s i t i ve rev i ewer a p l ot a n y e i g h t-yea r-o l d can fo l l ow . )
Esse n ti a l l y , t h e m o v i e i s t h e story of C o n a n 's reve n g e o n t h e
so rce re r w h o w i ped o u t h i s c l a n a n d e n s l aved h i m . A r n o l d
Schwarze n e g g e r a cts as we l l a s h e needs t o ( n ot very) a s
C o na n . A n d J a m es E a r l J on e s d oes D a rt h Vade r a g a i n w i t h h i s
u s u a l a p l o m b , t h i s t i m e as C o n a n 's n e m e s i s , a 1 000-yea r o l d J i m
J o n eso i d weres n a ke . T h e re a re s o m e d i scordant n otes -
i n c o n g r u o u s co l l oq u i a l i s m s ; a w rest l e w i t h d e m o n s w h o l o o k
l i ke ai r- b r u s h ed G u m b i es; s o m e too-o bv i o u s ri p-offs f r o m
Seven Sam urai, t h e Star Wars m ovies a n d eve n Blazing Saddles
- b u t n oth i n g r u i n o u s. As a sto ry t h e m o v i e wo rks. W h y wa i t 2 0
years ti l l t h e c r i t i cs perm i t y o u to watc h a B m o v i e w h e n you ca n
beat t h e r u s h n ow?

The rea l s h o rtco m i n g , t h o u g h yo u ' d never k n ow i t from t h e

u s u a l co rpo rate/"alternative " med i a revi ews, i s t h at t h e f i g u re of
C o n a n is d i m i n i s h e d . T o a d e g ree, h e ' s properly po rtrayed as
fe roc i o u s yet i n n oc e n t , as u ntamed yet u n co r r u pted , a m o ra l b ut
n ot evi l ( offered a n a m u l et a g a i n st evi l , h e s m i rk s , " I am evi l " ) .
B u t he's too m u c h t h e v i ct i m aven g i n g vi l l a i n y, despite
i n c i dental t h efts , d e b a u c h es a n d sac r i leges. The m o v i e wi l l b e
l i ke n ed to S ta r Wars - w ro n g l y , s i n ce C o n a n fi g h ts for n o c a u s e
b u t h i s own a n d cou l d n 't be m o re fore i g n to t h e a n tisept i c h i g h ­
tec h b u rea u c rati c m o ra l i s m of t h e L u cas f l i c k s , t h ose wa r m - u ps
fo r Wo rl d Wa r I l l - fo r u n fo rt u n ate l y i t d oes n 't f u l l y reve a l
C o n a n a s t h e barbaro u s- b u t-wo r l d l y adventu rer.
T h e rea l C o n a n i s a s k e p t i c a n d h ater of p ri ests, b ut avo i d s
g ratuitous b l as p h e m y l i ke l y to rouse d o r m a n t evi l s ; t h e real
C o n a n retu rns a n i nj u ry with i nterest but i s n 't a n A h ab-l i k e
o bses s i ve a s i n t h e f i l m . O bv i o u s l y C o n a n a p p e a l s t o a n y o n e
st i f l e d by soc i a l c o n s t ra i nts; to t h ose w h o ' d l i ke to st r i k e o u t
d i rect l y at o p p ress i o n s a n d i n d i g n it i es ass u m i n g a c o n ve n i e n t l y

1 02
ta n g i b l e f o r m ; to s/h e w h o w i s h es a n i n d i v i d u a l c o u l d sti l l m a k e
a d i ffere n c e by a perso n a l a c t . C o n a n can be h a rs h b u t he's n o
hypocrite. H e m i g ht stea l yo u r j e w e l s b u t h e won 't p o l l ute you r
sou l .
Organ ize r-act i vo i d s d is m iss fa n tasy a s "esca p ist, " f u l l y
j ustify i n g J . R. R . To l k i e n 's rej o i n d e r : "What c l ass of m e n wou l d
you expect t o b e m ost p reocc u pi ed w i t h , a n d m ost h ost i l e t o ,
t h e i d ea of esca pe? J a i l e rs . "
Fantasy a n d f reed o m : t h e i r orga n i c nexus was ev i d e n t t o
C h a rl es Fou r i e r ; t o t h e M a rxist fantas i st W i l l i a m M o rr i s ; t o
R ussian A n a rc h o- F u t u ri sts w h o - a n t i c i pat i n g H oward's very
n o m e n c l at u re ! -ca l l ed t h e m se l ves " A n a rc h o- H yperborea n s . "
A n d yet t h e secta r i a n s stood arou n d st u pi f i e d i n 1 968 w h e n t h e
F re n c h staged t h e i r epoc h a l g e n e ra l str i k e a n d t r u m peted t h e
s l og a n "Al l power to t h e i m a g i n at i o n . "
T h e n o t i o n o f rede m pt i o n t h ro u g h a n i n d i vi d u a l act of w i l l e d
v i o l e nce i s p l ayed o u t b y now ( th o u g h t h e i n h i b i ted m a y sti l l f i n d
i t t h e ra pe u ti c ) .
I n sofa r as violence has been c o l l ec t i v i sed and
d e pe rso n a l ized , t h e pass i o n h as g o n e o u t of i t , except f o r t h e
spectators. I n t h e S o u t h At l a n t i c , teams of tech n i c i a n s take
t u rns o b l iterat i n g each o t h e r by p u s h i n g buttons. " S m a rt"
b o m bs b l ow away st u p i d peo p l e: i t's s h ee p f i g h t i n g ove r s h e e p .
Eve n as M a g g i e T h atc h e r d o i n g W i n ston C h u rc h i l l - i n-d rag fa i l s
t o outd raw " Evita, " t h e jun ta l e a r n s it's eas i e r t o m a k e A rg e n t i n e
d i ss i d e nts " d i sa p pe a r" t h a n B r i t i s h t roops.
O u r t i mes p ro d u ce o n ly e rsatz b a r ba r i a n s . I nte l l ectu a l j a d es
may get off o n t h e i ns e n sate f u ry of t h e V i k i n g b e rse rkers , b u t
t h i s cent u ry w e h ave to sett l e f o r b u re a u c rat i c b r u t a l itari a n i s m
i m pe rso n a l l y ad m i n i stered b y hacks l i ke A l exa n d e r H a i g , P o l
P o t a n d D i a n n e Fe i n ste i n .
Pse u d o- ba r b a r i a n t heatrics e n d ed i n a w h i m pe r: t h e F u t u r ists
went Fascist, t h e S u rrea l i sts we n t Stal i n ist, t h e p u n ks we n t N e w
Wave a n d re-e ntered a rt s c h oo l . W h y t h e attract i o n fo r
i ma g i n a ry barbaris m ? Because " c i v i l izat i o n becomes m o re
o d i o u s as i t n ea rs its e n d " ( Fo u r i e r) , a n d t h e barba r i a n n o n ­
alternat i ve see m s - cleaner.
W h e re i s C o n a n w h e n we n eed h i m ?
( 1 982)

1 03
 G ROWN-UPS SAY THE DARNDEST
THING S

O n M ay 20, 1 98 2 , t h e b a r n sto rm i n g A m e r i c a n R e newa l R a l l y ,

d ed icated to " po s i t i ve t h i n k i ng , " reac h e d S a n F ra n c i sc o . I t was
h e l d , aptly e n o u g h , in the Cow Palace.
A rt L i n k letter and oth e r l u m i naries from t h e o pt i m i s m i nd ustry
to l d t h o u s a n d s of c rewc u t b u l letheaded zo m b i es ( a n d t h e i r
" g a l s " ) what t h ey wa nted to h ea r: W h e n you w i s h u po n a star,
m a kes n o d iffere n ce who y o u a re . . . except that, as one s peake r
sa i d , a n y o n e pay i n g $ 1 5 -o n - u p to be t h e re was a l ready a
" w i n n e r" : " T h e losers d o n 't s h o w . " T h e m a r ks l a p ped i t u p .
B u t before g o i n g i nto a l l t h at , let m e c o n fess m y b i as a t t h e
o utset.
D i a n e was a lways my fa vorite L i n k l ette r.
We k n ew we were in fo r i t j ust by t r u d g i ng t h ro u g h t h e par k i n g
l ot . T h e re we re t o o m a n y p i ss-poorly p e rs on a l ized l i cense
p l ates; too many f i s h -s i g n s a n d oth e r C h rist i a n c l a p t ra p p i n g s . ( I
was i n d rag myse l f , s p o rt i n g a 40 cent " G ood C itizen " b u tto n . )
I ns i d e , t h e a u d i e n ce re m i n ded m e o f t h e n ewcaster's puzzled
refere n c e to t h e g h o u l s in Night o f the L iving Dead: " T h ey look
so - ordinary. " T h e f i rst i ns p i rati o n a l o rato r spoke m o re t r u l y
t h a n h e k new w h e n h e rem a rke d , " I t's a m az i n g w h at you can d o
w i t h n ot h i ng . "
A l th o u g h t h e speakers p a i d res pects from t i m e to t i m e t o G o d ,
cou n t ry, fam i l y a n d espec i a l l y free enterprise, i t was n 't rea l l y a
re l i g i o u s o r p o l i t ic a l ral ly . I t was m o re l i ke t h e M o ra l M aj o r i ty's
vers i o n of t h e h u ma n pote n t i a l m ove me nt.
Acco rd i ng to a s h ow of hands, a l m ost half the a u d i e n ce was
" i n sales, " and t h e speakers all i d en t i f i e d t h e m s e l ves as
s a l es m e n . T h e p i t c h : get so l d on yo u rs e l f s o you can se l l to
o t h e rs. A ttitude d ete r m i nes image, w h i c h determ i nes s u ccess.
A rec u rre n t t h e m e , as R o b e rt S c h u l l e r o f t h e " H o u r of Power"
TV m i n istry p u t i t , was: " I m poss i b l e i s a d i rty word . " Y o u c a n be
w h at you want to be. I n this st ra n g e wo r l d of R otary C l u b

1 05
s u rreal i s m , o bj ect i ve rea l ity sca rce l y exists. " M o n ey f l ows l i ke
water to i d eas . " Z i g Z i g l a r e n d ed h i s s p i e l as h e a lways d oes:
"See y o u at the top . " But h o w can t h e re be a t o p w i t h o u t a
botto m ?
O n e of t h e f u n n i e r s pea k e rs was t h e moto r m o u t h e d I ra H ays ,
t h e " A m bassad o r of E n t h u s i as m " : t h e M C a n n o u nced that h i s
speec h wo u l d d i s p e n se 1 1 7 g reat sel l i n g i d eas. T h e m ost b ru ta l
cy n i c of t h e b u n c h , H ays p u s h e d h a rd-se l l h a rass m e n t
tec h n i q ues a k i n to b ra i n was h i n g . H e o bserved t h at t h e re's l ittl e
real d ifferen ce betwee n m ost c o m pet i n g c o m m o d i t i e s . T h e
s a l es m a n 's j o b i s to se l l a n idea a r b i t rari l y attached to t h e
p ro d u c t .
" H ow d o you g et peop l e to d o w h at you want t h e m to d o ? " B y
C o nform ity ( " W h at's w ro n g w i t h i t ? " h e c r i ed ) , C o m pet i t i o n , a n d
I d e n t i ty ( g etti n g ot h e rs to rec o g n ize yo u r i m age) . S i n c e
a n yt h i n g yo u w r i te d ow n w i l l c o m e t r u e , m a ke a l i st. " S u ccess i s
n ot h i n g b u t a s e t of s k i l ls . " ( O r a s A rt L i n k l ette r later b l eate d ,
" T h e d i ct i o n a ry i s t h e o n l y p l ace w h e re s u ccess c o m es before
work.")
Z i g Z i g l a r, evi d e n t l y a s u pe rsta r o n t h e c i rc u i t , ex p l a i n e d t h at
you " c a n c h a n g e w h at you a re by c h an g i n g w h at g oes i nto you r
m i n d , " s u c h as i t i s . To Z i g , l i fe i s l i ke a sewe r: " T h e i n p u t
d ete r m i nes t h e o ut p u t . " I n a fo l ksy s o u t h e r n fake-h earty
m a n n e r , he asked : " H ave you f i led yo u r c l a i m o n w h at l ife h as to
offer? " ( N o , j u st a n u n e m p l o y m e n t co m p c l a i m . I ' m a l s o
th i n k i n g of f i l i ng m y teet h . ) Al l i t t a k e s to p reva i l i s a pos i t i ve
att i t u d e . D o n 't cal l i t a n " a l a r m c l oc k " : it's a n opportunity clock,
Dag wood ! D o n 't be a l a rmed ! A n d t h at mach i n e that reg u l ates
traff i c is ( t h at's r i g h t ) a "go f i g h t. " Z i g l a r related an i na n e a n d
u n d o u bted l y apocry p h a l a necd ote a b o u t i n ne r-city s t u d e nts
stra i g h t e n ed out by some S k i n n e ri a n rei nf o rce m e n t s c h e m e o n
t h e t h e m e " I Ca n ! " B u t h e neve r answe re d t h e rea l q uestio n ;
Why Sho uld I ?
T h e s l i c kest s p e a k e r was D e n i s W a i t l ey, a h o n ey-to n g u e d
h o m i l i st w h o s o u n d s l i ke D i c k C avett o r t h e " H a l " com p uter i n
2001 - n ot i n a p p ro p r iate l y , s i nce h e s u p posed l y h e l ped t ra i n
t h e ast ro n a uts f o r t h e m o o n -d o g g ie s o m e yea rs bac k . Waitley
w o n 't d ebate you r taste in bait as long as yo u swa l low t h e hook:
" I f you don't l isten to t h e B i b l e , l isten to w h at t h e psyc h i at r i sts
say . " W i t h a f i n g e r i n every p i e- i n-t he-sky - f u t u r i s m , p o p

1 06
psyc h o l og y , t h e W i s d o m of t h e East - W a i t l ey co u l d d o a N e w
Age n u m be r w i t h m i n i m a l res h u ff l i n g of catc h p h rases .
Eve ry c r i s i s , h e a rg u e d , i s an o p p o rt u n ity: wo rse i s better i n
t h i s , t h e ve ry b est of a l l poss i b l e w o r l d s . I n h i s V e lveeta-s mooth
vo i c e , h e s h a m e less l y f latte red t h e a u d i e n ce as " w i n ne rs " : " Y o u
a n d 1 , " h e sa i d , " h ave t h e e d g e o n t h e rest. " " H a rd e n i n g of t h e
att i t u d es , " h e sai d , " i s a d ea d l y d i sease . " A p h o r i s m s ,
a necd ote s , stat i s t i cs - t h i s m e l l o w fe l l o w has someth i n g f o r
every o n e : every o n e , t h at i s , w h o a l read y h as s o m et h i n g .
L east b u t n ot l ast was D o u g S n arr, w h o , t o m y s u r p r i se , was
the o n ly p i t c h m a n who h ad the c o n t r i ved voi ce-t rem o rs a n d
ot h e r affectat i o n s of you r garden-va r i ety rad i o eva n g e l ist. T h e
reas o n t h i s w i n d bag g o t o n stag e a t a l l was a p parently t h e o l d " i f
y o u d o n ' t l et m e p itc h , y o u can't u s e m y bal l " p h e n o m e no n :
S n arr C o m m u n i cat i o n s ( o f S a l t Lake C ity) i s t h e s p o n s o r o f t h e
A m e r i ca n R e n ewal R a l l y .
W e ret reated to t h e S ky R o o m fo r d ri n ks fo r m ost of h i s
perfor m a n ce . From adjacent ta b l es we'd ove rhear a n occas i o n a l
w o r d l i ke " l easeback" o r " res i d u a l s . " S n a r r d ro n e d o n , c l a i m i n g
t o h ave ove rco m e stutter i n g , b u t h e was n o D e m ost h e n es . F o r
s h ee r ted i u m , s n o ri n g t h rou g h S na r r can o n ly be c o m pared w i t h
perfo r m a n ce a rt a t L a M a m e l l e. I t w a s S n a rr , i n fact, w h o gave
the g a m e away: he u rg e d u s to " re- p rog ra m " o u rs e l ves.
The big d raw was, of c o u rse, A rt L i n k l etter, sti l l tel l i n g t h e
s a m e o l d stu p i d stories of f ive-yea r-o l d s f u n n i e r t h a n h e' l l eve r
be. K i d s a re pos it ive, says L i n k ; ad u lts a re negative. Learn to
l i ste n , says L i n k ; it's th e sec ret of s u ccessfu l s e l l i n g . I wo n d e r if
he l i ste n e d to D i a n e .
Lest I be acc u sed of b a d taste (a c h a rg e I f ree l y p l ead g u i l ty
to) , let m e p o i n t out that no o n e - n ot even D i v i n e in h i s/ h e r t i t l e
r o l e i n The Diane L inkletter S tory - exp l o its D i a n e as cyn i c a l l y
a s D a d d y does. H e retel l s a n d retai l s h e r sorry story a t every
sto p on the o pt i m i s m c i rc u i t . H e's s o l d her s u ffe r i n g s over a n d
over g ai n . I m ay be b e h av i n g a bo m i n a b ly , b u t t h e re's t h i s
d iffe re nce betwee n m e a n d A rt L i n k l etter: I ' m n ot gett i n g r i c h off
a n y body's a g o n y .
Act u a l ly, A r t ' s post h u m o u s p rosti t u t i o n of h i s dead d a u g hter
i s fa i rly l ow-key. At fi rst, h e says, h e went o n t h e warpath with
his anti-drug crusade - as i f be i n g A rt L i n k l etter's d a u g hter

1 07
were n 't reason e n o u g h , d ru g s o r n o d ru g s , to s n uff i t . B u t late r
h e rea l ized h i s tact ics we re i n effective, so h e switc h e d over to
sel l i n g the pos i t i ve-t h i n k i n g i d eo l og y as a d ru g-su rrogate. i ' d
h ave c o n s i d e red i t t rite to say t h at " re l i g i on i s t h e op i ate of t h e
peo p l e " i f i t were n 't for t h e fact t h at o n e speaker afte r a n o t h e r
touted t h e " n at u ra l h i g h " to be h a d from pos i t i ve t h i n k i n g -
c h e m i cal ly i n d i st i n g u i s h a b l e from m o rp h i n e , acco rd i n g to
Den i s Wa i t l ey. S o why n ot bypass t h e b a n a l i ty b y p o p p i n g a p i l l ?
L i n k re l ated a n a necd ote:
A l i ttle old lady accosted h i m on the street once and sa i d : " I f
w e we re n 't n o bo d y , yo u wou l d n 't be a n y b o d y . " That s u m s u p
c i p he rs l i ke L i n k letter. H e's fa m o u s becau s e h e ' s a c e l e b rity,
a n d he's a cel e b rity because h e's fam o u s .
I ra H ays i s r i g ht: rea l i ty's reced ed , i t ' s a l l a m i n d g a m e w h e re
t h e w i n n e r i s t h e o n e w h o s e l l s a n i m age of h i mself. So w h o t h e
h e l l i s Art L i n k l etter to a b u se t h e u nexorcised s pectre of "'60s
mad ness"? T h at e p o c h was awash with i l l us i o n s but i t l oo k s
g ood c o m pa red to ' 7 0 s s o m n o l e n ce a n d ' 8 0 s i na n i ty.
T h e po l it i c s of pos i t i ve t h i n k i ng we re m o re ass u med t h a n
asse rted a t t h e ral ly , b u t i f you cared to l oo k , y o u ' d s e e t h e s ku l l
ben eat h t h e s k i n . Z i g Z i g l a r s a i d: "We d o n 't n eed t o j u st g ive o u r
P res i de n t a c h a n c e , w e need t o g i ve h i m a h a n d . "
H e c a n have t h e bac k o f m i n e !
T h e o n l y soci a l p ro b l e m s eve r referred to we re i nf l at i o n a n d
h i g h i nte rest rates - b u t y o u h ave to h ave m o ney to worry
w h at's h a p pe n i n g to i t .
T h e re's a l esso n i n t h i s e n c a ps u lati o n for t h ose w h o i n h a b i t
l efti st/h i p p i e/p u n k p o l i t i co-c u l t u ra l g h ettos: t h e b i m bos h ave
their s e l f-co n ta i n ed syste m s , too. T e n s of m i l l i o n s of kitsch­
c u l t u re Pi n k B oys n ever went t h ro u g h the " c h a n g es " you boast
of s u rvivi n g .
T h ey ' re j ust a s sol i ps i s t i c as yo u a re a n d t h e re a re a l ot m o re
of t h e m . Yo u , too, m ou t h p l at i t u d e s a b o u t att i t u d es . Wise u p !
A n d G o d b l ess!
( 1 982)

1 08
 THE CULT TO END ALL C U LTS

by Rev. St. Mahatma Propagandhi

Th e Book of the Sub G enius, by T h e S u bG en i u s Fou n d at i o n .

N ew York: M c G raw- H i l l , 1 983 . $9.95 ( o r $ 1 1 post p a i d f ro m t h e
F o u n d at i on ) .

The S ta rk Fist o f Remova l, N o . 40, Vo l . 1 7 ( 1 983 ) . $ 3 postpa i d

f ro m T h e S u bG e n i us F o u n d at i o n , PO Box 1 40306, D a l l as, TX
752 1 4 .
D i sd a i n f u l o f d i arrheal i ty? T i red o f T r i l ateral tyra n ny? D o y o u
t h i n k extre m i s m i n t h e p u rs u i t of v i c e i s a v i rt u e ? A n d t h at
D ay l i g ht S avi n g s T i m e i s a d a n g erous tam peri n g w i t h cos m i c
fo rces? Q u ite poss i b l y T h ey are read i n g you r m ai l ; T h ey may
eve n be writing i t . " P o l i t i cs " as we k n ow i t c a n ' t even c i rc u m c i s e
t h e ti p of t h e i ce berg , a n d " re l i g i o n " i n a n y fo rm i s j u st t h e j oy­
b uzze r of a petu l a n t soc i o path w i t h a p u e r i l e sense of h u m o r. I n
ot h e r words, y o u were ri g ht a n d T h ey were w ro n g a l l a l o n g . A n d
y o u a re n ot a l o n e . Y o u are, m o reover, a S u b G e n i u s .
I n t h e 1 950's, a s a l e s m a n n a med J . R . " Bo b " D o b bs
expe r i e n ced a series of v i s i o n s - a n E m ac u l at i o n - l ift i n g t h e
c u rta i n o n t h e extrate rrest r i a l i nfl u e n ces w h i c h h ave s h a ped a n d
warped o u r d est i n ies s i n ce befo re p re h i story. A n E . T . w h o m w e
k n o w a s J e hova h - 1 ( o r Wota n ) , p ro b a b l y a j uven i l e d e l i n q u e n t ,
h as b e e n m a n i p u l at i n g o u r b i o l ogy a n d h i story f o r e o n s , for
kicks . T h i s " mad a l i e n from so m e corpo rate s i n g a l axy" i s
beh i n d a l l t h e c on s p i ra c i es y o u ever heard o f , b u t - a s t h e Book
o f the S u b G enius ave rs : " O h , all t h at ri g h t w i n g stuff about the
C o u n c i l o n Fo re i g n R e l at i o n s i s t r u e e n o u g h . The w o r l d is r u n
by rich, old, white, ugly m en . . . b u t t h ey ' re j u st t h e pla n t
supervisors of t h i s H e l l Facto ry Eart h . " T h e catt l e m ut i l at i o n s
a re c a u se f o r c o n c e r n , b u t t h e H o l l ow E a rt h S a u c e r N a z i s a r e n ' t
t h e o n l y o r e v e n t h e worst of t h ose res p on s i b l e . To b e b l u nt , t h e
h u m a n race i s c ru i s i n ' fo r a b r u i s i n ' a n d t h e stu p i d i nse n sate
serv i t o rs of the C o n s p i racy, the P i n k Boys, a re h oundin ' for a
poundin '.

1 09
 We have to m aste r t h e sec rets of T i m e C o n t ro l , a n d t i m e i s
g rowi n g s h o rt . A n u n p reced en ted seq u e n ce of g rotes q u e
catast rop h es , a n E n d t i m e is i m m i n e n t , a n d w h e n J H VA- 1
reac hes d ow n to g oose u s w i t h h i s Sta rk F i st of R e moval , ou r
best h o pe i s t h at " B ob" Dobbs a n d t h e S u b G e n i i are ready to
d i c ker from a pos i t i o n of stre n g t h w h e n oth e r a l i e n s , the X i sts,
d ro p by o n J u l y 5, 1 998 ( at 7 : 00 a . m . ) . J u st check o u t t h e
" Datel i n e for D o m i n at i o n " i n t h e Book, yo u ' l l s e e t h at Wotan's
really f i xed our h as h : unless t h e S u bG e n i i find t h e m se l ves a n d
ra l l y t o D o b bs' b a n n e r, t h e k n i fed c l oc k w i t h w i n g s .
N ot t h at w e ( I refe r to " we , " n o t ou r P i n k e n e m ies, " U S ") have
to wait fo r t h at c h a os m i c rave-u p when the P i n ks and the fa ke
S u b G e n i i , t h e " B o b b i e s , " learn too l ate t h at you can't g et t i c k ets
fo r a n X i st saucer r i d e at any BASS o u t l et . D o b bs a n d h i s eart h l y
C h u rc h f i r m l y be l i eve t h at g ratifi cat i o n d e l ayed i s g ratifi cati o n
d e n i e d . T h e i m med i ate a n d u l t i m ate objectives a re o n e a n d t h e
s a m e , a n d i t i s Slack. Pos i ng i s p o i n t l ess: t r u e S u bG e n i i a re
born , not m a d e ( t h e C h u rc h , h eavi l y i nto soc i o b uyology,
tea c h es t h at S u b G e n i i a re desce n d a n ts of t h e Yet i , a l be i t tai nted
b y h u m a n ad m i xt u re } , t h o u g h t h e i r evo l u t i o n towa rd t h e
Ove r M a n stage m ay be f u rt h e red by G l an dscap i n g , Pers o n a l ity
Bypass and the T h i rd N ostri l s u rg e ri es carried out at t h e
D o b bstown j u n g le retreat i n M a l ay s i a . I n oth e r w o r d s , " P u l l t h e
w o o l o v e r yo u r o wn eyes . "
P i n ks a re eve ryw h e re ( are n't T h ey? ) , b u t espec i a l l y preva l e n t
at ce rta i n n e rd n odes o r p o w e r p o i nts l i ke corporate
board roo m s , poet ry read i n g s , v i d eo arcades , vot i n g booths a n d
s c i e n ce f i c t i o n c o n ve n t i o n s . T h ey s n i ff eve ry g i l d e d n e u rose,
t h ey hear the same d ru m m e r, t h ey never " g o too far." T h ey t h i n k
you can h ave barbeq u e w i t h o u t t h e h ot s a u ce . A s " B o b " says of
the P i n k : " Y o u can enter h i s wo r l d any t i m e you l i ke but h e
d oes n ' t even k now YO U R S i s TH E R E. " They not o n l y work,
T h ey believe in work. T hey've been ri d i n g h i g h o n the h o g ,
h o g g i n g t h e h i g hs w i t h t h e h e l p of i nterg a lactic B a d S h e p h erds
who were j ust fatte n i n g them fo r m arket. If t h ey b e l i eve in Jesus
it's t h e Sesa m e Street, M i sterogers' a n d ro i d , n ot a n y of t h e rea l
J es i i ; t h ey i d o l ize t h e L i t e J e s u s , t h e Tof u J e s u s of t h e False
C h r i st i a n s , not t h e XYY C h ro m oso m e Jesus, t h e Estate- Bott l e d
J es u s , t h e J i s m at i c J e s u s , t h e 3- D J e s u s , t h e S S i c h opath J e s u s ,
t h e 8 6 ' d J es u s , t h e State-of-th e-A rt ( n ot t h e A rt-of-th e State)

1 10
J e s u s , t h e G oat-J esus w h o wasn 't a C a p r i c o r n ! T h e J es u s ( says
t h e Book) " w h o d i d n 't get n a i l ed . "
I n other words, i f you r q u est i s for pe rv-ect i o n , i f y o u wa n t
m o re a n d better s e x , i f yo u t h i n k t h e re i s a f ree l u n c h , m a y b e
eve n a N aked L u n c h , t h e n you need to k n ow w h at you r g e n es
are s i l e n t l y s h r i ek i n g , to w i t , t h at " B o b " h e l ps t h ose w h o h e l p
t h e m se l ves to e veryth ing t h at i s n 't nailed down . W h i c h i s o n l y t o
say, " T h e re is a H eave n , a n d y o u can b u y yo u r way i n to it. "
The Book of the Sub G enius, t h e oste n s i b l y "com m e rc i a l , "
o u t reach a n t h o l og y of S u bG e n i u s ra nti n g s has u n d e rg o n e
Consp i racy censorsh i p , b u t w h a t T h e y o verlooked i s m o re
i n s i d i o u s t h a n what m ost so-ca l l ed ava n t g a rd e revo l u t i o n a ry
u pc h u c k i n g s h a d to s h o w for t h e m se l ves i n t h e fi rst p l ace. ( O n e
( by C h u rch sta n d a rds) i n n o c u o u s cartoon earned t h e M o ' F u c k
C h u rc h i n D a l las a h o u se-ca l l f ro m t h e Sec ret Serv i ce , a n d t h i s
i s n o t a joke . ) I t's O K t o b u y t h e Book eve n i f y o u ' re n ot s u re it's
right for you beca use, as D o b bs o n ce ex p l a i ned t o L . R o n
H u b b a r d , "S u re, t h ey ' re P i n k , b u t t h e i r m o ney i s green . " L o o k :
L i fe i s a cos m i c t raffi c t i c ket . . . b u t " B o b " can f i x i t . ( B u t n ot fo r
eve rybody, n ot for t h e I l l u m i n ati w h o m a k e u p al l t h ose l i g h t bu l b
j o k es. ) A n d d o n 't b e p u t off b y t h e word "S u bG e n i u s , " s o m e of
u s a re act u a l ly s m a rter t h a n t h at ; but t h at's n ot the poin t. A l l
S u bG e n i i a re a l i ke , b u t n o t i n t h e sa m e way, w h e reas t h e
" B o b b i es" ( t o b e p i t i ed a n d p i l fe re d : fl eeced b u t n ot f l ayed )
m a k e a show of be i n g d i ffere n t , w i t h o u t ever be i n g distinc tive .

A t th i s p o i n t you a re e i t h e r p u n c h i n g o ut " 9 1 1 " o n you r

P r i n cess p h o n e , o r e l se d i scoveri n g w i t h a maze m e n t t h at t h e
Book's p u n t h e i st i c prof u n d i t i e s i n c l u d e t h i n g s t h a t you 've sa i d
( o r a t least t h o u g h t ) yo u rself. T h i s i s b ut t h e a rc a n e work i n g of
what Zack R e p l i c a of the C h u rc h of the C o i n c i de n t a l Meta p h o r
h a s d e n o m i n ated t h e H e n n y J u n g C o l l ec t i ve H u m o r
U n c o n sc i o u s . S u b G e n i i are, by t h e way, ad ro i t i m p ro p e rators of
s u c h d i vi natory d ev i ces as read i ng T-b i l l s , n u m e ro l o g y ,
a n a g ra m s , a n d Word G o l f ( " P u n k " to " P i n k , " fo r i n st a n c e , i s a
h o le- i n-one) . L i ke watc h i ng late- n i g h t TV o r pe rfo rm i n g t h e rite
of Exc re M ed i tat i o n on the T h ro n e of E l i m i n ati o n , t h ese
exorcizes a re b u t a few of t h e many b rea d c ru m b-strewn psyc h o
paths t o B u d d h a d a . F o r eac h Yeti-spawned S u bG e n i u s , a i d ed
by h is own s h o rd u pe rsavs ( s h o rt-d u rat i o n perso n a l sav i o rs )

111
f i n d s a spec i a l way to " B o b " a n d S la c k . T h i s i s what t h e
" Bo b b i es" w i l l n eve r f i g u re o u t , w h at t h e s ee m i n g l y l ess
o rt h o d o x O t h e r M utants ( p re- and ext ra-S u bG e n i u s l oose ly­
aff i l i ated h e resiarchs) d i sce rn , t h at you h ave to kill "Bob " i f you
rea l l y wan n a l i ve and l i ve i t up , f o r " Bo b " w i l l r i se a g a i n in h i s
o w n sweet t i m e a n d t h a n k yo u fo r n ot be i n g a d i sci p l e-type sap .
I n deed , every l oc a l co n-g re g at i o n ( o r " k le n c h " ) i s o b l i g ed to
schizm soo n e r o r later, for reas o n s you wi l l n eve r u n d e rsta n d if
t h ey a re n 't a l read y o bv i o u s .
F ro m t h i s ove rd raw n acco u nt you m i g h t t h i n k t h e C h u rc h i s a
b i t cere b ra l , b u t i n s u r rea l i ty its salons a n d s a l o o n s a re o n e a n d
t h e sa m e , as c o m e s o u t (yes, d e s p i te t h e C h u rc h 's c o m m i t m e n t
t o Pat ri o- Psyc h o t i c A n a rc h o M ate ri a l i s m , g ays a re we l c o m e a n d
r u n at l east o n e k l e n c h , t h e C h u rc h o f t h e P ro f u se D i sc h a rg e ) i n
Th e Stark Fis t o f Rem o val. I n t h i s h o u se o rg a n t h e C h u rc h p l ays
with itse l f , the 1 983 i s s u e feat u r i n g ce n s o red texts from t h e
Book, cove rage of t h e e p oc h a l yptic seco n d C o n ve n ti o n i n
C h i ca g o ( S e pte m ber 1 982 ) , a n d a s u rvey of t h e O t h e r M uta n ts
a n d t h e i r u n sett l i n g works. At t h e C o n , w h i c h I was p ri v i l eged to
atte n d , S u b G e n i i from p l aces as far-rem oved as Be rke ley a n d
Bol ivia ( n o s h it) g a t h e red i n fel l ow ( o ne u p m a n ) s h i p , q u affi n g
g reat d ra u g hts o f ' F rop f r o m d ri n k i n g h o r n s , swea ri n g m i g h ty
oat h s , p l ayi n g the h u n d re d s , spew i n g and b u l l s h atte ri n g . M ost
i g n o red t h e s c i e n ce f i c t i o n Wo rl d Co n nea rby, b u t a few p u l led
off d i ve rs P i n k-tu m p i n g s at t h e expense of t h e Trekkies a n d
othe r d re c k i e s . S p i rits ra n h i g h a n d d o w n m a n y a c h i n as t h e
S l ac k-see kers g ot psyc h o'd u p f o r t h e pso n i c ts u n a m i ca l l ed
D oktors for "Bob. "
Befo re a n t i - m u s i c i a n s l i ke C u l t u rc i d e , b efo re j o k e rockNs l i ke
t h e 1 2 Yea r O l d s, before E . L . F. l ed the pag a n p i n k ( n ot Pi n k )
rev ival - t h e re we re t h e Doktors a n d t h e i r t h u r o u g h l y
contemptorary s o u n d u n co n st ra i n e d b y melod y, harmony a n d
m o ra l i ty. T h ese A r k a n s a u c e r c reatu res a n d t h e i r fears o m e
p rogeny ( D o kto rs fo r Wota n , O a k l a n d 's m yste r i o u s Do ktors f o r
Extre me P rej u d ice, etc . ) p rod uce a G ott-wre n c h i n g m eta m u s i c ,
a n d t h e o r i g i n a l Do kto r b a n d rea l ly wracked t h e R a d i ss o n w i t h
eine kleine Nic h tm usik. I t l o o ked l i ke a tag-te a m m e a t f i g h t i n
the e m e rg e n cy roo m , b u t w i t h St. J a n o r H y percl eats a n d t h e
soon-to-be- m a rtyred St. Ste r n o Kec k have r afford i n g a c o re o f
re l ia b l e u n p re d i cta b i l i ty . N ot eve n t h e o n stage assass i n a t i o n o f

1 12
g u itarist Ste r n o by ' F rop-madden e d a n i m ate a n t i -art object
t E N T AT I V E L Y , a c O N V EN I E N C E ( p u re r in h i s a b n o r m a l ity t h a n
any of us) - a sce n e u n ca n n i ly rem i n iscent of t h e s u p p ressed
o u tta kes from the Z a p r u d e r fi l m - s i l e nced the s u rvivi n g
D o ktors. Occas i o n a l l y u pwe l l i ng from t h e Sa rgasso o f sou n d
was a n a l m ost s o n g l i ke m a n i festat i o n s u c h as J a n o r's st i r ri n g
a n th e m , "To l d t h e J u d g e t o S u c k M y D i c k . " I t w a s l i ke t h e
d ro p p i n g o f a h e r m e n e u t ro n b o m b .
T h e C o n c o n c l u d e d , a s i t h a d t o , b y t h e C h u rc h 's m ost m ovi n g
r i t u a l , t h e La u n c h i ng o f t h e Head (of a fa m o u s W o r l d C u p g o lfer,
n o t Lee T rev i n o ) s h o rt l y afte r Ste r n o 's res u rrect i o n - b u t by
t h e n t h e m ost extrao rd i na ry eve n t in C h u rc h h i story h ad fo reve r
c h a n g ed its c o u rse. T h e S u b Ge n i us Lad i es' Sewi n g A u x i l i a ry
sto rmed a " p red o m i n a n t l y peen o i d " p a n e l of co m p l a c e n t
C h u rc h Fat h e rs , a n n o u nced t h e i r th eft of t h e H ead a n d d i ctated
h o r m o n a l ly- u n ba l a n ced d e m a n d s wh i c h the men had n o c h o ice
but to s u b m i t to . . . Ca l led upon to off i c i ate at a s h o tg u n marriage
of all C h u rc h m a l es to o n e a n ot h e r , t h e u nf l a p p a b l e Pasto r B u c k
N aked l ost h i s B a r n u mesq u e c o m pos u re. To see a stro n g m a n
red uced t o a w h i m pe ri n g s h a m b l es i s a s a d t h i n g ; b u t t h e
w o m e n (fo r m e r l y t h e g i rls) g ot a c h a rg e o u t o f i t . C o n c e r n i n g
w h at else t h e m at r i a r c h s m a d e u s d o , i t i s better n ot t o s p e a k .
T h e C h u rc h of t h e S u bG en i u s w i l l n eve r be t h e s a m e , b u t t h e n , i t
n ever was .
W h o , th e n , a re t h e S u b G e n i i ? ? We a re t h e Slam-Dancing Wu
L i Mas ters . "Wh e n the Raptu re c o m es, I ' l l m a ke ' e m wai t ! " " F u c k
'e m eve n i f t h ey can take a j o ke ! "

( 1 983)

1 13
 THE POLITICAL THEOLOG Y
OF F ERLING HETTI

Sky o f a priest, i s it going t o rain?

If it rains you'll be butchered;
If it doesn't you'll be burned. - Benjamin Peret

Sin is the de sire of men to become gods - F r . E r n esto C a rd e n a l

O f the B o u rbo n s who once r u led the K i n g d o m of N a p l es it

was said that they we re u na b l e to learn o r forget a n yt h i ng . S o it
i s with the l eft. M i sta k i n g the fede ra l l y-fi n essed a u sterities of t h e
l ast fo u r yea rs f o r a re p l ay of t h e G reat D e p ress i o n , t h e l eft, l o n g
paralyzed w i t h perp l exity b y a m o d e r n wo r l d beyo n d its o l d
i de o l o g i e s , n ow w i t h g reat rel i ef rel a pses i nto i ts o l d ways . Back
to t h e N e w Dea l ! Too bad i t c a n ' t see t h a t its bogey Reag a n has
a l ready a d o pted t h e only N e w Dea l re m e d y f o r eco n o m i c
a n e m i a that ever worked : a rm s p rod u ct i o n , i n te rve n t i o n a n d
war.
But rat h e r than p o n d e r h i g h p o l i c y I 'd as s o o n esta b l i s h h o w
t h e l eft has a d va n ced n ot a n i nc h i n i ts i n s i g hts o r as p i rati o n s b y
l o ok i n g at phe n o m e n a m o re local a n d c l ose to h o m e ; a n d ,
p a rad ox i ca l l y , relati n g to f o re i g n affa i rs , n o t d o m esti c
p ro g r a m s . I m e a n t h e way t h e poets, arti sts a n d (to u se t h e i r
own warped self-desc r i pti o n ) " c u l t u ra l workers " a re o n c e a ga i n
express i n g t h e i r c reat i ve c ri t i c a l i ty a n d n oto r i o u s i n d i vi d u a l i s m
by s i g n i n g o n a s t h e p ropag a n d i sts o f t h e a u t h o r i ta r i a n l eft, o r
b y s u bo rn i n g oth e rs w h o d o , o r b y s i l e nc i n g t h ose w h o d o n 't . I n
t h e 1 930's t h e C o m m u n i st Pa rty i n i ts Po p u l a r F r o n t p h ase
m a n a g e d the pol i t i c s of m a n y i n te l l ect u a l s t h ro u g h a n etwo r k of
c u l t u ra l front-g ro u ps. T h i s c a rtel of o rg a n i zat i o n s a n d
p u b l icati o n s c o u l d m a ke o r b reak m a n y a m a rg i n a l artist o r

1 15
w riter. W h i l e t h e re i s n o s u c h c e ntral ized d i rect i o n today, m a n y
of t h e c l i q ues w h o c o n t ro l t h e p a l t ry m e a n s of p rod u c t i o n o f
ava n t g a rd e a rt ifacts a re sym pat h e t i c t o t h e export of a n t i ­
Esta b l i s h me n t va l ues to c o n ve n i e n t l y re m ote f o re i g n
d esti n at i o n s ( G re n a d a , E l S a l vad o r) . T h e refusal o f a l l
p rearra n g ed f o rced -c h o i ces i s a l m ost a s h aza rd o u s a s i n 1 93 7
w h e n e rstwh i l e l eft d a r l i n g George O rwe l l h a d Homage to
C a talonia rej ected by t h e Left Book C l u b beca u se h i s f i rst- h a n d
re p o rt o n t h e S pa n i s h Revo l u t i o n d i scl osed t h at t h e off i c i a l l eft
was on o n e s i d e , t h e revo l u t i o n a ri e s on t h e oth e r .
A trou b l i n g m a n i festat i o n of t h i s t re n d i s t h e steady stream o f
rad i c a l c e l e b ri t i e s , o r t h ose strivi n g fo r c e l e b rity, to N i carag u a ,
to " l i be rate d " parc e l s of E l S a l vador, a n d - u nt i l rece n tl y - t o
t h at " l ove l y p i ec e of rea l estate" (as G e o r g e S c h u l tz sees it) ,
G re n a d a . ( A l b a n i a , V i et n a m , C u ba , a n d S o u t h Africa's new
friend M oza m b i q u e a l s o h a ve t h e i r d evotees b u t t h ese be l i eve rs
are p l a i n l y made of m u ch ste r n e r - b ut n ot , obvi o u s l y , Max
Sti r n e r - st u ff . ) N ot a l l of t h e i r re po rts, only m ost of t h e m , a re
e n t i re l y wort h less. T h e seco n d i s s u e of No Middle G round has a
l e n g t h y f i rst- h a n d acco u n t by C a i t l i n M a n n i ng - bette r k n own
l oc a l l y as " M ax i n e H o l z , " t h e M a rg a ret T h atc h e r of Processed
World - on N i c a rag u a . I ag ree w i t h Ted Lopez t h at h e r sto ry is a
" L u ka cs i a n t rave l og u e , " " revo l t i n g M a l ra u x i a n s h it" a n d " o n e of
the m ost o b noxi o u s and d i sg u st i n g t h i n gs by a s u p posed ' a n t i ­
a u t h o r i t a ri a n ' t h at we've eve r seen . " Sti l l , t h i s so p h i st i cated
S a n d i n i sta a p o l o g i a can be m i ned fo r d ata w h i c h d i sc red i t i ts
c rypto-T rots k y i st " c r i t i c a l s u p p o rt" l i n e i n y i e l d i n g g l i m pses of
l i fe in the " new" ( b u t n ot tha t new) N i ca rag u a .
T h e s a m e , w h i c h i s n 't m uc h a n yway, ca n n ot be sa i d fo r
Lawre nce F e rl i n g h etti , w h o parlaye d a o n e-week to u r i n to a
c offee ta b l e book w h ose base te n o r i s a p pa re n t from a rece n t
Poetry Flash i n te rview. Fe r l i n g h etti as a p o e t i s e n d o rs i n g
N ic a rag u a t h e way a base b a l l p l aye r wou l d e n d o rse a razor. T h e
" p oetry" a n g l e i s fo rced t o t h e p o i n t o f farce: a b o u t t h e o n l y
p o i n t o f eve n a p pa re n t i n te rsecti o n i s Fe r l i n g hett i 's c r o n y a n d
c o u n te rp a rt E r nesto Carde n a l , a s u p p osed poet, a n d , a s
M i n i ste r of C u l t u re , a n o m i na l m e m be r of t h e ru l i n g S a n d i n i sta
jun ta . Gard e n a ! is, of c o u rse, th at l owest of l ife-fo r m s , a priest.
W h e n J 2 P2 p l ayed the C e n t ra l A m e ri c a n c i rc u i t he s n u b bed
Fat h e r Gard e na ! , this i s true, but to m y m i n d t h e key point i s , n ot

1 16
t h at C a rd e n a l was n ot a l l owed to k i ss t h e P o pe's ri n g , b u t rat h e r
t h at h e even t r i e d t o i n t h e fi rst p lace.
I t's too bad t h at Lawre n ce F e rl i n g h etti , t h at w o r l d -weary h as­
b ee n , d i d n 't s h a m b l e off to the E l y s i a n F i e l d s e re h e eve r s i g ned
o n w i t h poet-t u rned-puto E rnesto Card e n a l 's M i n i C u l t
p ropag a n d a m ac h i n e . O u r revered Beat (off) p res u mes too
m u c h o n o u r c red u l ity when h e p rete n d s t h at - d ece i ve d by t h e
sata n i c Reag a n - h e " h ad a l ot of p reco n c e i ved n oti o n s a b o u t
N i c a ra g u a before I we n t t h e re . " W h at ? Afte r t h i rty yea rs o f
oste n s i b l e o p po s i t i o n to t h e Esta b l i s h m e n t ( d i d n 't h e w rite
s o m et h i n g about i m peac h i n g Eisen h o wer way back in h i s
va n i s he d y o u t h ? ) , a l l of a s u d d e n Fe r l i n g hetti be l ieves t h e l i kes
of Ronald Reagan? No w o n d e r , t h e n , t h at after h i s q u i c k i e
rad ica l -to u ri st j a u n t i n N i ca ra g u a h e j ett i s o n e d o n e batch of
p reco n c e i ved n o t i o n s o n ly to take a n ot h e r aboa rd . If h e's n ot
l y i n g h e i s - at best, a n d by h i s own ad m i ssi o n - t h e d u pe of
w hateve r self-i n te rested i d e o l og u e h a p p e n s to be the last to
catch h i s ear.
Po l it i c s i s n ot a pate rn ity s u i t . N o body c a res when and w h e re
Ferl i n g h etti 's o p i n i o n s we re " c o n c e i ved , " t h e p o i n t i s , a re t h ey
true?
As a l ways, l eft and right p l ay i n to each othe r's h a n d s .
Ferl i n g h etti d i s p utes a State Depart m e n t est i m ate o f
N ic a rag u a n C o m m u n i sts rath e r t h a n a d d ress t h e rea l s i t u at i o n
i n t h at co u n t ry . A l l C o m m u n i sts a re re p res s i ve stati sts b ut
m a n y , o r m ost p resent o r p rospect i ve ru l e rs a re n 't C P . I f o n l y
f l ag g i n g f u t u re Fuehrers we re t h at easy! B u t i n fact t h ey're
i n c u bati n g a l l ove r, i n t h e m i s l a be l l ed L i b e rta r i a n Pa rty n o l ess
t h a n i n the Sta l i n ist n ut-c u lts l i ke the R C P or CW P . I f
Ferl i n g h etti d i d n 't n ot i ce t h at N i c a ra g u a i s a o n e-party
d i ctato rs h i p he m u st n ot h ave n ot i ced a n yt h i n g .
Asked a b o u t t h e c e n s o rs h i p o f poet Pa b l o A nto n i o C u a d ra , a
L a Prensa e d i to r, Ferl i n g h etti f i n d s i t "sym b o l i c a l l y i nteresti n g
t h at La Prensa was n ext d o o r to w h e re t h e B a n c o d e A m e r i c a
i s . " For s o m e reason Ferl i n g hetti n eve r fo u n d t h i s i n teresti n g i n
t h e S o m oza peri od w h e n h i s c h u m C a rd e n a l u sed t o p u b l i s h h i s
poe m s i n L a Prensa . N o r d i d t h e N i ca rag u a n masses o r eve n
t h e i r Sa n d i n i sta m e n t o rs fi n d t h i s too i nterest i n g i n 1 97 8 w h e n
t h e b o u rg e o i s l i beral c h a racter of t h e pape r's e d i t o r Ped ro

117
J oaq u i n C h a m or ro d i d n 't p rec l u d e t h e i r s e 1 z m g u po n h i s
assass i nati o n a s t h e cata l yst of t h e i r h arrowi n g b u t u lt i matel y
s u ccessf u l revo l t . I say " revo lt" rath e r t h a n " revo l u t i o n , " n ot to
d eva l u e the sac r i f i ces of s u ffe ri n g i ns u rrect i o n a ri es far m ore
res pecta b l e t h a n any of t h e i r N o rt h A m e ri c a n c h ee r leaders, b u t
to l eave o p e n t h e rea l q uest i o n w h at k i nd of a c h a n g e rea l l y
h a p pe n ed d ow n t h e re . T o o u st a n d exte r m i n ate a g a n g o f
o u t r i g h t l oote rs i s s e l f-ev i d e n t l y d es i ra b l e , b u t so l i m ited a n
o bject i ve l eaves l a rg e r vi stas of soc i a l t ra n sf o r m at i o n
u na p p roac h e d .
Ferl i n g h etti 's C i ty L i g h ts Booksto re , w h i c h h a s i n rece nt yea rs
i n sta l led a n t i -th eft e lectro n i c d etect i o n devices, is across the
s treet from t h e nea rest b ra n c h of B a n k of A m e ri c a , a fact w h i c h
I ' m n ot s u re i s eve n "sym b o l i c a l l y i n te resti n g " w hateve r that
evas i o n m e a n s . What I f i n d really and n ot j ust "sym b o l i ca l l y "
i n te rest i n g i s t h e fact that t h e B a n k of A m e rica f l o u r i s h e s
u n d i st u rbed i n "soc i a l i st" N i c a rag u a . Fe rl i ng h etti rece i ved n o
coac h i n g a n d so has n ot h i n g to s a y to exp l i cate t h e state­
c a p i ta l i st nat u re of the " n ew " N i ca rag u a .
A necd ota l i rre leva n c e , accepted u n q uest i o n a b l y by
i d o l atrous i n te rvi ewer Dav i d Vo l pe n d esta , i s Fe rl i n g hett i 's o n l y
re mai n i n g rhetorical ta l e n t . Asked a b o u t t h e status o f wo m e n
( V o l p e n d esta k n e w b ette r t h a n to even ask a b o u t gays) ,
Ferl i n g h etti to l d s o m e stup i d sto ry a b o u t t h e S a n d i n i sta m e n f o l k
l ett i n g a w o m a n poet p a rt i c i pate i n a m i l i ta ry act i o n . T h i s i s l i k e
a n swe r i n g a q u esti o n a b o u t t h e o p p ress i o n of w o m e n i n
A m e rica with a fa i ry ta l e a b o u t M o l l y P i tc h e r.
T h e Verg i l f ro m l n to u rist w h o a rra n g ed t h e a p peara n ces that
Ferl i n g h etti h a p p i l y sett l e d fo r was M i n i ste r of C u l t u re E r nesto
Carde n a l , who m ust I s u ppose b e a c k n o w l e d g ed as a poet in t h e
sa m e s e n s e Ferl i ng h etti i s . T h i s M a rxist M c K u e n i s t h e a u t h o r o f
the s i c ke n i n g t rave l og In C u b a w i t h i ts obsce n e pa n e g y r i c t o
F i d e l Cast ro a n d i t s p rofo u n d res pect f o r t h e w a y t h e reg i m e
e n fo rces s u c h C h r i s t i a n va l ues a s p u r i ta n m o ra l ity a n d t h e work
eth i c . N ow he's done u n to Ferl i n g h etti what Cast ro did u nto
h i m . O n e of Card e n a l 's t ra n s l ato rs w r i tes: " E r n esto Card e n a l i s a
Cath o l i c priest a n d a M a rx i st poet, a n d h e sees n o c o n f l i ct
betwee n t h ese two l oya l t i e s . " N e i t h e r d o I !
Ferl i n g hetti 's f l i rtat i o n w i t h a n a rc h i s m i s f i n a l l y d o n e w i t h ;
what a rel ief for t h e a n a rc h i sts! N o w h e d oe s n 't care i f a c o u n t ry

1 18
h as a n a u t h o ri ta r i a n power struct u re so l o n g as at l east s i x of t h e
n i ne S a n d i n i sta b osses a re " b a s i ca l l y h u m a n e , reaso n a b l e
i ntel lectua l s , rat h e r t h a n m i l i ta ry m e n o r d i ctato rs . " W h e n i s a
d i ctato r not a d i ctator? W h e n h e ' s a " h u m a n e i nte l l ect u a l " l i ke
Ferl i n g h etti : w h e n he's a nice g uy. Ferl i n g h etti was too h u m a n e
a n d reaso n a b l e to ask a n y of t h ese reaso n a b l e h u m a n i sts w h y
stri kes have bee n p ro h i b i ted i n N i c a rag u a s i nce 1 98 1 .
Ferl i n g h etti 's c o n te m pt i b l e perfo r m a n ce i s i n t h e t rad i t i o n of
the eag e r d u pes who u sed to get c a ref u l l y m i sg u i d ed t o u rs of
the Soviet U n i o n a n d ca m e back sayi n g , for i n sta n c e , as S a rt re
d i d , that "free d o m of speech i s tota l i n t h e Soviet U n i o n . " As
rece n t l y as 1 97 5 Ferl i n g hetti was w r i t i n g , " I ' m sti l l c o n c e r n e d
w i t h t h e sym b o l i c i m po rta nce of a p o e t l e n d i n g h i s ta l e n t to a n y
b ra n c h of t h e g ove r n m e n t , eve n i f he's p a i d p r i vate l y for i t . " I
g uess it's o kay as l o ng as it's somebody else 's g ove r n m e n t . Of
cou rse , i f Ferl i n g h etti were to deny t h at h e ' d lent h i s talen t to the
jun ta , I 'd h ave to ag ree .
N i carag ua i s a statist, c a p i ta l i st c l ass soci ety w h i c h i t i s
conve n i e n t for t h e R e a g a n reg i m e to po rtray as revo l u t i o n a ry .
B u t i f a n yt h i n g revo l u t i o n a ry a b o u t t h e i n s u rg e n c y w h i c h
ove rt h rew S o m oza h a s s u rv i ved t h e Sa n d i n i sta b u rea u c ratic
conso l i d at i o n , Fe rl i n g h etti doesn 't k n ow i t a n d co u l d n 't care
l ess. H e i s w h o l l y i d e n t i f ied w i t h t h e ru l i n g c l i q ue i n w h i c h h i s
cou n te rpa rt , t h e p r i est C a rd e n a l , i s a n o r n a m e n t . T h e re i s
u nfort u n ate l y l i ttle p rospect, betwee n Reag a n 's destab i l izat i o n
p o l i c i es a n d t h e jun ta 's Len i n ist o bj ectives, t h at t h e S a n d i n i sta
State w i l l - l i ke Ferl i n g h ett i 's i n teg ri ty - w i t h e r away. O l d N oa h
i s d ru n k ; l e t u s feel s h a m e f o r h i s n a ked ness.

( 1 984 )

1 19
 IV .
OTHER VICES
(1981-1985)
"Words of Power" ( 1 98 1 ) - p u bl i s h e d i n Re/Search (San
F ran c isco) , a post- p u n k j o u rnal of p re-p u n k i ntel l ectual i ty ,
rep r i nted i n CoEvolution Quarterly - started t h e t r e n d i n m y
l ate L . l . p h ase toward terse, e p i g ram mat i c , o r fo r m u l a i c forms
( " I ns & O uts, " "20 Q u est i o n s , " " De c l asse(f i e d s ) , " etc. ) . The
" L u n at i c F r i n g e C redo" was t h e L l 's e leve n t h -h o u r self­
desc r i pti o n fo r a n A u strian d i rect o ry of i nternati o na l
"anarc h i st i c " c o n tacts . " Fe m i n i s m a s Fas c i s m " ( 1 982) i s t h e
expa n d e d vers i o n of a l ette r ( f i rst p u b l i s h ed i n The Spark)
s u p p ressed by Toronto's Kick It O ver, a l efti st-fe m i n i st
magaz i n e w h ose p u b l i s h e rs fo r s o m e stra n g e reas o n t h i n k t h ey
are n 't sti l l t h e Le n i n i sts t h ey used to be. " T h e Exq u i s i te Corpse , "
( 1 984 ) a l etter t o t h e e d i to r , ap peared i n a l eft- l i be ra l f ree y u p p i e
t h rowaway, t h e San F ran c i sco Bay G ua rdia n , a s m y l ast l a u g h
o n t h e G o r i l l a G rotto's g u ru , Gary War n e .
O n a d a r e of m i ne , Loo m pan i cs re p r i nted t h e p ro-s i t u
man i festo o f " co m m u n i st eg o i s m , " The Righ t t o Be G reedy, a n d
so I s u p p l ied a P reface ( 1 983 ) . A l t h ou g h t h e book not o n l y
b o m bed i n t h e market b u t g ot i t s adve rti s i n g ban n e d f r o m
Reason , Loom pan i c s pe rve rs e l y persi sted i n its i nte rest i n m e ,
a n d i n 1 984 , a t its expense, I attended t h e E r i s Society's an n ual
As pe n c o n c lave to d e l i ve r the d iat ri be w h i c h I have s i n c e rev i sed
a n d expan d e d i nto " T h e L i b e rtarian as C o n s e rvat i ve . " Despite
t h e i r oste ns i b l e aff i n ity to t h e anarc haos a n d para n o i ac-c r i t i ca l
a bs u rd ity of t h e i r i ns p i rati o n , t h e Principia Discordia, t h ese
E r i s i a n s a re real l y m o re l i ke a n alternative T r i late ra l
Co m m i s s i o n wait i ng i n t h e w i n g s ( t h e ri g ht w i n g , m ostl y) . M y
a n t i -work asp e rs i o n s met w i t h b la n k i nc o m p re h e n s i o n f r o m
th ese c o n -art i sts, c u l t i sts a n d c o n s u l tants. At o n e po i nt I b l u rted
o u t , "You ' re not exactly the sal t of the eart h , you k n ow . " I 've
u p g raded th i s i m passe w i t h exce rpts from a s u p p ressed l ette r to
the L ibertarian Revie w in res p o n se to the o n l y ( ri g ht-)
" l i b e rtarian" text I h ave eve r see n , a book revi e w by J o h n
H ospers , t h at dealt w i t h work i tse l f - by ral l y i n g to its d efe nse.

1 21
 My m ost rec e n t texts are t h e " A n a rc h i s m " c ri t i q u e (from
Popular Rea lity a n d a Loo m pa n ics s u p p l e m e n t ) a n d t h e
Loo m pa n i cs Cata l o g rev iew w h i c h has a p pea red i n t h e Voice
L iterary S upplement, t h e Chicago Reader, the LA Reader a n d
False Positive. I a m c u r re n t l y co l l a b o rati n g w i t h a p u n k
a n a rc h i st soc i o l og i st b e h i n d t h e I ro n C u rta i n , G re g o r To m e , o n
a t ra n s l ated a n t h o l o g y o f N o rt h A m e r i c a n " m a rg i na l " texts
( i n c l u d i n g f r i n g e l i b e rta r i a n s l i ke E rwi n S t ra u s s a n d S a m u e l
Edwa rd Ko n k i n I l l ) . T h i s b o o k s u m ma rizes a n d c o n c l udes a
p h ase of my acti v i ty . . . b u t you have n 't h e a rd t h e last of m e .

1 22
 A LUNATIC FRIN G E CREDO

T H E LAST I N T E R N AT I O N AL/W O R K E R S A G A I N ST W O R K

W e a re n ot a n " o rg a n i zat i o n , " j u st a p roject. W e i s s u e s h o rt

texts , u s u a l l y as poste rs b ut someti mes as l ette rs-to-t h e-ed i t o r ,
a rt i c l es , g raff i t i , c l as s i f i ed advert i s e m ents, o r o ra l d i at r i bes,
devoted to d e p l oyi n g the powe r of a b s u rd i ty to expose a n d
exc ise t h e a b s u rd i ty o f powe r. O u r a n i m os i ty to a u t h o r i ty i s n ot
l i m i ted to a n t i -stat i s m b ut e n c o m passes eve ry r u l e , ro l e ,
i n st i t u t i o n a n d i d e o l o g y a r rayed aga i n st f reed o m , p l ea s u re, a n d
c reat i vity. T h u s w e a re l ess c o n c e r n e d w i t h a b o l i s h i n g t h e state
(as n ecessa ry as t h at is) t h a n w i t h the s u pe rsess i o n of w o r k a n d
m o ra l i s m . F o r u s , h u m o r i s a n e n d a s we l l as a mea n s , a n d p l a y
i s m o re t h a n f r i vo l i ty, i t ' s t h e p o s i t i ve m ea n i n g of l i be rty.

( 1 98 1 )

1 23
 WORDS OF POWER

ART? An i n c reasi n g l y i n adeq u ate s u bst i tute for sex.

B LO O D BAN K? Is t h e re any oth e r k i n d ?
B O R E D O M ? O b l i gatory f o r sop h i st i cates.
THE B O R N -AGA I N ? Twice too ofte n .
C I V I L I ZAT I O N ? T h e b i os p h e re's s k i n d i sease.
C LASS WAR ? The wa r t o end a l l wars.
CO U P L ES ? M o n o g a m y i s m o n otony.
THE C R U C I F I X I O N ? Too l itt l e a n d too late.
CY N I C I S M ? L o n g s i nce s u rpassed b y eve n ts.
D I S CO? T h e b l eat g oes o n .
D I S EAS E? Very d a n g e ro u s: a lead i n g ca u se o f d octors.
E L E CT I O N S ? D u m boc racy in acti o n .
FA I T H ? I s fatal - g et t h e e be h i n d m e , G o d !
T H E FAM I LY? N o n u kes!
F E M I N I S M ? Eq u a l i ty with men: a p a l t ry a m b it i o n .
F R E E T I M E? Work t h e boss d o e s n ' t pay yo u fo r.
F U L L E M P L O Y M E N T? A t h reat, not a p ro m i s e .
GAYS? J EWS? E l i tes i m pe rs o n at i n g t h e o p p ressed .
G O V E R N M E N T ? G u n s d o n 't k i l l , p o l i t i c i a n s d o .
G U R U S ? A g ood m a ntra i s h a rd to fi n d .
H I P P I ES ? R u n n i n g o n e m pty .
T H E H O STAG ES? N ot wo rth k i l l i ng , n ot w o rt h k i l l i n g fo r.
J U D G ES ? D od d e ri n g despots in c l own s u i t s .
LAW? C r i m e w i t h o u t p u n i s h m e n t .

1 25
LAWY E R S ? L i fe s u p p o rt syste m s f o r m o ut h s .
T H E L E FT ? Left b e h i n d .
L E I S U R E? Pay i n g & p l ay i n g a re m ut u a l l y exc l u s i ve .
L I B E RALS? C o n s e rvati ves w i t h g u i l ty c o n sc i e n ces.
L I B E RTAR I A N I S M ? All t h e free d o m t h at m o ney c a n b u y.
L I F E A F T E R D EATH ? W h y wait?
M A R X I S M ? T h e h i g h est stag e of ca p i ta l i s m .
MAS O C H I S M ? L i ke ta k i n g yo u r work h o m e with you .
M YST I CS? H ave i n c o m m u n i c a b l e i n s i g hts they wo n ' t s h u t u p
about.
N E C R O P H I L I A? A soc i a l d i sease.
N I H I L I STS? G o i n g beyon d good & evi l , they stopped h a l f-way.
P E D A G O G I C I D E? A v i ct i m l ess c r i m e.
P L EAS U R E? I n te r l u des t h at acce n t u ate pai n .
P O L I C E? Te rrori sts w i t h t h e rig h t c red e n t i a l s .
PO L I T I CS? L i ke a p o n d ; t h e scu m rises to t h e top.
P R EJ U D I C E ? Fol k s oc i o l og y .
P R O P E RTY? I s t heft - a n d t h eft i s p ro p e r.
P U N KS ? H i p p i es w i t h a m n e s i a .
P U N K V E N U ES? Defo l i ated fern ba rs.
P U N Q U ES? P u n ks w h o atte n d a rt sc h o o l .
R A D I O EVA N G E L I STS? Less a u ral sects, m o re o ra l sex!
R EA G A N ? A step in t h e R e i c h d i rect i o n .
R E LAT I O N S H I PS ? Bei n g a l o n e tog ether.
R E L I G I O N ? D e i fy i n g yo u r d efects .
T H E R I G H T? W ro n g .
R O C K M U S I C ? H a s a g reat f u t u re be h i n d i t .
R . O . T . C . ? C h a r n e l k n ow l e d g e .
SAN F R A N C I S C O ? Baja S a u sa l ito.
THE " S C E N E"? H o w to be d i fferent l i ke eve rybody else.
S EX ? A n i n c reas i n g l y i n adeq uate s u bst i t u te f o r mastu rbati o n .

1 26
S C H O O L V I O L E N C E ? C l ass stru g g l e as strug g l e i n c lass.
SO C I AL I ST S ? S h eep in wo l ves' c l ot h i n g .
T EAC H E R S ? O ut c l assed .
T H E RA PY? P u n i s h m e n t w i t h o u t c r i m e .
T R O T S KY I S M ? Sta l i n i s m o u t o f powe r.
U TO P I A? N osta l g i a for the fut u re .
V E G ETAR I AN S ? Y o u a re w h at you eat .
Z I O N I S M ? J e w i s h N az i s m .

( 1 980)

1 27
 PREFACE TO
THE RIGHT TO BE GREED Y

M ost l i be rta r i a n s t h i n k of t h e m se l ves as i n s o m e sense

e g o i sts. I f t h ey be l i eve in r i g hts, t h ey be l i eve t h ese r i g hts b e l o n g
t o t h e m as i n d i v i d u a l s . I f n ot , they n o n et h e l ess l oo k t o
t h e m s e l ves a n d oth e rs as so m a n y i n d i v i d u a l s possessed o f
power to be rec k o n e d w i t h . E i t h e r way, t h ey ass u m e t h at t h e
o ppos i te of eg o i s m i s a l t ru i s m . T h e a l t ru i sts, C h ri s t i a n o r
M a o i st , ag ree . A c ozy acco modat i o n ; a n d , I s u b m i t , a s u s p i c i o u s
o n e . W h at i f t h i s a ntag o n i st i c i nterd e pe n d e n ce , t h i s rec i p ro c a l
re l i a n ce refl ects a n d c o n ce a l s a n acco rd ? C o u l d e g o i s m b e
a l t r u i s m ' s loyal opposition ?
Yes , accord i n g to t h e a u t h o rs of t h i s text. Wh at's m o re , t h e y
i n s i st t h at a n e g o i s m w h i c h k n ows i tse l f a n d refu ses eve ry l i m i t
to i ts own rea l i zati o n i s comm unism. A l t r u i s m a n d ( n a rrow)
e g o i s m or eg oti s m t h ey d i s p a rage as c o m peti n g a n d
c o m p l e m e n ta ry m o ra l i s m s i n serv i c e to c a p i ta l a n d t h e state .
T h ey u rg e us to i n d u l g e a g e ne ro u s a n d expa n s i ve g reed w h i c h
g oes beyo n d se l f-sac r i f i ce a n d petty self i s h n ess t o e n c o m pass
the a p p r o p r i at i o n of everyt h i n g and eve ry o n e b y each and a l l of
us. "Wea l t h i s oth e r peo p l e , " w rote R u s k i n . T h e rad i c a l l y a n d
rat i o n a l l y (self-) c o n s c i o u s e g o i st , a p p re c i at i n g t h i s , e n r i c h e s
h i m -se l f i n a n d th ro u g h ot h e r s u bjecti v i t i e s . I n soc i a l l i fe at i ts
( c o n ) s e n s u a l a n d satisfyi n g best - sex , c o n ve rsati o n , c reat i o n
- ta k i ng f r o m a n d g i vi n g t o oth e rs c o n s t i t ute a s i n g l e p l ay­
act i v i ty r i c h w i t h m u l t i p l i e r effects. For t h e l uc i d a n d l u d i c
e g o i st , a n yt h i n g l ess t h a n g e n e ra l ized e g o i s m i s j u st n o t
enough .
T h e i n d i v i d u a l i sts h ave o n l y wo rs h i pped t h e i r w h i m s . T h e
p o i n t , h o weve r, i s to l i ve t h e m .
I s t h i s a p u t-o n , a p i ec e of pa r l o r p rec i os i ty? T he re i s m o re
t h a n a to u c h of that h e re . O r a m u s h m i n d e d exe rc i se i n
i nc o n g r u o u s ec l ecti c i s m ? T h e i n d i vi d ua l i st e g o i st i s b o u n d to
be skeptica l , b ut h e s h o u l d n ot be too q u i c k to deprive himself of
the i ns i g hts ( a n d the e n te rtai n m e n t ! ) of t h i s u n i q u e c h a l l e n g e to

1 29
h i s cert i t u des. T h e c o n t rad i c t i o n s a re obvi o u s , b u t wheth e r they
d e r i ve from t h e a u t h o rs' i r rat i o n a l i ty o r from t h e i r f i d e l ity to the
rea l q u a l i ty of l i ved expe rience i s n ot so easy to say. If
" Ma rx i s m-St i r n e ri s m " i s c o n c e i va b l e , eve ry o rt h od oxy p rati n g
o f f reed o m o r l i b e rat i o n i s c a l l e d i n to q uest i o n , a n a rc h i s m
i n c l u d ed . A p o l e m i c i s p ract i c a l o r i t i s n oth i n g . T h e o n l y reason
'
to read this boo k , as i ts a u t h o rs wo u l d b e t h e f i rst to ag ree, i s fo r
what you c a n get o u t of i t .
A t l east f o r t h ose n ot c o n ve rsant w i t h Hege l i a n M a rx i s m ,
" c r i t i c a l t h e o ry" a n d the l atest Fre n c h fas h i o n s i n ava n t g a rd e
d i sco u rse, t h e m o d e of e x p ress i o n i n t h i s w o r k m a y see m
u n us u a l . B u t it's ve ry m u c h i n t h e t rad i t i o n of t h ose ( m a i n l y
E u ropea n ) o p p osi t i o n a l c u rre n ts - s u c h a s d a d a a n d s u rrea l i s m
- wh i c h t ri ed t o co m b i n e p o l i t i c a l a n d c u l t u ra l i c o n oc l asm . I n
t h e l ate 1 950's, a F re n c h -based b u t i n ternati o n a l organ izati o n
ca l l ed t h e S i t u a t i o n ist I n te r n ati o n a l res u med t h i s p roj ect a t a
h i g h level of i ntra n s i g e n ce a n d s o p h isticat i o n . T h e s i t u at i o n i sts
d rew atte n t i o n to t h e way t h e "s pectac l e " of m od e r n c a p i ta l i s m
(including i ts Len i n i st va r i a n ts ) , t h e o r g a n izat i o n of
a p pearan ces, i n t e r poses i tse l f betwee n i s o l ated a n d e n e rvated
" i n d i v i d u a l s " a n d a w o r l d w h i c h t h e y p rod uce by t h e i r act i v i ty
b u t n e i t h e r c o n t ro l n o r c o m p re h e n d . M e d i a t i o n s u p p l a nts d i rect
expe ri e n ce as the f ra g m e n tat i o n of d a i l y l i fe i n to so m a n y
sta n d a r d i zed p refa b roles p rod u ces i n d i v i d u a l s w i t h a dazz l i n g
a r ray o f fo rced " c h o i ces" b u t d ra i ned o f effective a u t o n o m y b y
t h e l oss o f i n i t i ative t o c reate t h e i r o w n l i ves. P o l i t i ca l l y , t h e
s i t u a t i o n i sts b i tt e r l y d e n o u nced t h e esta b l i sh e d left, b u t m oved
towa rd an u l t ra-left sta nce t h e m se l ves w h e n they e m b raced
c o u n c i l c o m m u n i s m . C a l l i n g for the abo l i t i o n of work - its
t ra n s fo r m at i o n i n to p rod u c t i ve p layl i ke past i m es - o n the o n e
h a n d , a n d for workers ' co u n c i l s , o n t h e o t h e r , i s o n l y o n e of t h e
c o n t rad i c t i o n s w h i c h t h e s i ts fa i l ed to reso l ve . T h e F re n c h
g e n e ra l st r i k e o f 1 968 vi n d i cated t h e s i ts' t h e s i s t h at t h e aff l u e n t
soci ety had m e re l y m od e rn ized poverty, a n d e v e n s h owcased a
n u m be r of t h e i r s l og a n s , b u t t h e S . l . was at a l oss what to d o
n ext a n d b roke u p i n 1 97 1 .
Eve r s i n c e , s i t u at i o n ist i d eas - a n d poses - have percol ated
i n to po p u l a r c u l t u re , a n d the Sex P i sto l s ' m a n a g e r M a l c o l m
M c la re n was p e r h a ps t h e f i rst to se l l a d e n at u red s i t u ati o n i s m
t o t h e t re n d ies. I n t h e ea r l y 1 970's, " p ro-s i t u " g ro u ps ( a s t h ey a re

1 30
k n ow n ) formed i n B r i ta i n , i n N e w York C i ty a n d espec i a l l y i n t h e
San F ra n c isco B a y Area. O ne of t h ese g ro u ps , N e g at i o n ,
refo rmed a s F o r O u rse l ves a ro u n d 1 97 3 , a n d b y t h e fo l l owi n g
Mayday p ro d uced t h e p rese n t text. Fo r O u rse l ves was
p a rt i c u l a rly b e h o l d e n to the s i t u ati o n i st R ao u l V a n e i g e m w h ose
c e l e b rat i o n of th e " rad i c a l s u bjecti v i ty" of " m asters w i t h o u t
s l aves" f i g u res p ro m i n e n t l y i n t h e t h e o ry espo u sed i n The Rig h t
t o Be G reedy. A l l t o o soon t h e g ro u p c o l l a psed , so m e of i t s
m e m b e rs reg ress i n g i n to M a rx i s m f ro m wh i c h t h e y h a d neve r
rea l l y esca ped .
T h e text m a n ages to be at o nce too M a rx i st a n d o b l i v i o u s to
t h e exte n t of its i n c o m pat i b i l ity w i t h M a rxi s m . Too M a rxist, i n
t h at t h e i l l us i o n of M a n a s esse n t i a l l y p rod u c e r persists, a n d a
" d e m o c ratica l l y " p l a n ned eco n o m y based o n t h e c o u n c i l s i s
to u ted as t h e st ructu ra l bas i s o f a n e w a n d f ree soci ety. A n d too
e n a m o red of M a rx i s m in th at the atte m pt to sq u a re c o m m u n i st
e g o i s m w i t h t h e M a rxist scri ptu res i s far m o re i n ge n i o u s t h a n
p e rs u a s i ve - th o u g h p e r h a ps i t d oes s h ow th at M a rx was m o re
rad i c a l t h a n h e h i mself s u p posed . I t's a p i ty Fo r O u rse l ves d i d n 't
t ry to M a rxize S t i r n e r as i t Sti rne r i zed M a rx: t h e n we m i g h t have
a bette r sense of the leve l at wh i c h i t j ust m i g h t be poss i b l e to
h a r m o n ize the two g reat revo l u t i o n a ry a m o ra l i sts.
Egoism in i ts n a r rowest sense i s a ta u t o l o g y , n ot a tact i c .
Ad o l esce n ts of a l l a g es w h o t ri u m p h a n t l y t r u m pet that
" everyo n e i s selfi s h , " as i f th ey'd made a fact u a l d i sc ove ry about
t h e wo r l d , o n l y s h o w t h at t h ey l i t e ra l l y d o n 't k n ow what t h ey're
ta l k i n g about. Pra c tical e g o i s m m u st be s o m et h i n g m o re , i t m ust
te l l the ego ist s o m et h i n g usef u l a b o u t h i m s e l f a n d ot h e r s e l ves
w h i c h w i l l m a k e a d i ffere n c e in h i s l i fe ( an d , as i t h a p p e n s ,
t h e i rs) . M y wa nts, n ee d s , d e s i res, w h i m s - ca l l t h e m what y o u
w i l l - exte n d t h e e g o , w h i c h i s m y-se l f p u rposive l y act i n g , o u t
w h e re t h e oth e r s e l ves awai t m e . I f I d e a l w i t h t h e m , as t h e
eco n o m i sts say, " a t a r m 's l e n g t h " I c a n ' t g e t as c l ose as I n eed t o
for so m uc h of w h a t I wa n t . A t a n y rate , n o " s p o o k , " n o ideology
is g o i n g to get i n my way. Do you have i d eas, or d o i d eas have
you ?
( 1 983)

1 31
 FEMINISM AS FAS CISM

As t h e title of a c h i l d h ood c l assi c p o i n ts out, Pigs is Pigs ­

and t h i s reg a rd l ess of t h e s h a pe of t h e i r g e n i ta l s . l i se K o c h was
a N azi , n ot a " s i ste r. " L ove i s n ot h at e , war is n ot peace, f reed o m
i s n o t s l avery, a n d book-b u r n i n g i s n o t l i be rato ry. A n t i ­
a u t h o ri ta r i a n s w h o wo u l d b e revo l u t i o n a ri e s c o n f ro n t m a n y
d i ffi c u l t q u est i o n s . F i rs t , t h o u g h , t h e y s h o u l d a n s w e r t h e e a s y
ones correct ly.
All hyperb o l e a n d meta p h o r a s i d e , w h at passes for " ra d i c a l
fem i n i s m " i s fasc i s m . I t p ro m otes c h a u v i n i s m , c e n s o rs h i p ,
materna l i s m , pse u d o-a n t h ro p o l og y , sca pegoat i n g , m ysti c a l
i d e n t i f i cat i o n w i t h n a t u re , t r i c k ed - u p pse u d o-pagan rel i g i os i ty ,
e nfo rced u n i fo r m ity of t h o u g h t a n d e v e n a p pe a ra n c e ( i n s o m e
q ua rters , H e ra h e l p t h e ecto m o r p h i c o r "fem i n i ne " f e m i n i st ! ) .
H e re i s a l l o f t h e t h e o ry a n d too m uc h o f t h e p ractice we s h o u l d
a-l l be a b l e t o recog n ize b y n ow . A n o m i n o u s tact i c a l c o n ti n u i ty
w i t h c lass i c a l fasc i s m , a l so , i s t h e c o m p l e m e ntarity betwee n
p ri vate-v i g i l a n t i st a n d stat i st methods of rep ress i o n . T h u s Open
Road, the Rolling S tone of a n a rc h i s m , a p p l a u d e d s o m e a n t i ­
p o r n acti o n s i n V a n c o uver ( n ot as d i rect act i o n , h e n c e
u nd e rsta n d a b l e e v e n i f m i sd i recte d , b u t rat h e r) because t h e y
e n c o u raged l e t h a rg i c p rosec uto rs to pe rsec ute. I n post-W o r l d
Wa r I I ta l y ( t h e s u p p ress i o n of t h e I WW i n A m e ri ca fol l owed a
s i m i la r patte rn ) , fasc i st g a n g s attac ked soc i a l i st a n d t rade-u n i o n
o rg a n i zat i o n s w i t h t h e tac i t a p p rova l o f t h e p o l i c e , w h o neve r
i nte rve ned except a g a i n st t h e l eft . A s I o n c e wo n d e r i n g l y asked :
" H ow c o m e t h ese w o m e n wo n 't get i n bed w i t h a n y m a n except
the DA?"
Not t h at I c o u l d care l ess a b o u t the p o r n -for- p rofit i n d u st ry ,
fo r i t s " ri g h ts" of f ree s peech o r p ro p e rty. T h at i s bes i d e t h e
p o i n t , wh i c h i s : w h y s i n g l e o u t t h i s spec ies of b u s i ness? T o
target p o r n bespeaks p l a n n i ng a n d p r i o r i t i e s , not e l e m e n t a l a n t i ­
c a p i ta l i st s p o n ta n e i ty. T h ose w h o c a rry o u t a c a l c u l ated p o l i c y
c a n 't c o m p l a i n i f t h e i r reaso n s a re asked for, a n d q uest i o ned .

1 33
 Fasc i st i d eo l ogy a l ways i n c o n g ru o u s ly asserts to its
a u d i e n ce , its c h osen peo p l e , t h at t h ey a re at one and the s a m e
t i m e oppressed a n d superior. T h e G e r m a n s d i d n 't really l o s e
t h e F i rst Wo r l d War - h ow c o u l d t h ey? e x hypoth esi t h ey a r e
s u pe r i o r - t h e refo re , t h ey we re sta b bed i n t h e bac k . ( B u t h o w
cou l d a s u pe r i o r race l et s u c h a s i t u a t i o n a r i se i n t h e f i rst p l ace?)
Men ( o n ly) , we a re t o l d in a fem i n i st/A n t i - Po r n M ove m e n t
( A P M ) d i atr i be i n Toronto's Kick I t O ver, " h ave c reated t h e
n at u re-d est roy i n g a n d w o m a n - h ati n g c u l t u re . " I f so, t h e n e i t h e r
w o m e n h ave contri b u ted absol utely n o t h i n g to c u l t u re , o r t h e re
i s s o m eth i n g m o re o r s o m et h i n g e l s e to t h i s c u l t u re t h a n
d estroy i n g n at u re a n d h at i n g w o m e n .
For t h e i r own p u rposes ( s o m e o f w h i c h a re a s m u n d a n e a s
sex u a l riva l ry w i t h stra i g h t m e n fo r t h e w o m e n they b o t h d es i re ) ,
se l f-sty l e d rad i c a l fe m i n i sts actua l ly red uce w o m e n t o n ot h i n g
b u t h e l p l ess, c ri n g i n g n e a r-vegeta b l es , pass i ve victi m s of m a l e
c o n te m pt a n d coerc i o n . T h i s profou n d l y i n s u l ts wo m e n i n a way
w h i c h the wo rst pat r i a rc h a l i de o l o g i es - t h e J e w i s h n o t i o n of
woman as a sou rce of po l l ut i o n , for i n sta n c e , o r the C h r i s t i a n
n i g h t m a re of wo m a n as tem ptress a n d u n c o n t ro l l a b l e sex u a l
n at u re-force - fe l l s h o rt o f . T h e y d efa med wo m a n as evi l b u t
c o u l d h a rd l y rega rd h e r a s powe rless. T h e n e w wo m a n -as­
vi cti m stereotype i s n ot o n l y d i rectly t raceab l e to n i n etee n t h
cen t u ry V i ctori a n pat r i a rc h a l att i t u d es red u c i n g ( b o u rg e o i s )
wo m e n to i n e rt o r n a m e n ts , b u t b y d e n y i n g to w o m e n t h e
c reat i ve power i n h e re n t i n everyo n e , i t p l aces wo m e n 's
d e m a n d s o n a pa r w i t h t h ose advan ced for, say, baby sea l s .
S u p pose i n stead w h a t o n l y t h e m ost d e m e nted fem i n i sts a n d
m i sog y n i sts d e n y, t h at t h i n g s a re n 't quite t h a t bad , t h at wo m e n
h ave bee n s u bjects as we l l as o bj ects of h i st o ry . T h e n h ow c a n
w o m e n - o r a n y o t h e r s u b o rd i n ated g ro u p : workers, b la c k s ,
i n d i g e n o u s p eo p l es - b e entirely acq u i tted of a l l c o m p l i c i ty i n
t h e a r ra n g e m e n ts w h i c h c o n d e m n t h e m to d o m i nati o n ? T h e re
a re reaso n s for t h ese acco m od ati o n s . T h e re i s n o exc u se fo r
d e n yi n g t he i r existe n c e .
T h i s i s n 't sou r g rapes. I t h as n e v e r b ot h e red m e t h at s o m e
w o m e n d i s l i ke m e n , eve n to t h e p o i n t of havi n g n ot h i n g to d o
w i t h t h e m . I d o n 't l i ke m ost m e n m yse l f , espec i a l l y t h e
a rc h etypal " masc u l i ne " o nes. I can't h e l p b u t n ot i c e , t h o u g h ,
th at t h e vast m aj o r i ty o f wo m e n fee l oth e rwise. T h e rad i ca l

1 34
fem i n i sts have n ot i ced i t too, a n d i t d ri ves t h e m to d i stract i o n . I
wo u l d be t h e f i rst to ag ree that vast m aj o ri t i es can be w ro n g . I f
t h ey were n 't w e wo u l d b e t h e fri n g e l o o n i es, t h e i m pote n t kooks
that a l most eve ryo n e t h i n ks we a re . But then I c r i t i c i ze
m aj o ri t i es , I d o n 't p rete n d to s peak for t h e m . Rad i ca l fem i n ists,
in c o n t rast, a re va n g u a rd i sts . As such they n eed to rat i o n a l ize
t h e i r a n i m os i ti es , and s o t h ey h ave - m a k i n g a d i c k-d ete r m i n i st
d e m o n o lo g y o u t of t h e i r p rej u d i ces. As m a n -haters t h e y can 't
h e l p but b e wo m e n - h aters too.
To e q u ate porn o g ra p h y w i t h ra pe - b e n eath t h e ra n c o r o u s
rheto r i c a l frot h , t h i s see m s to be t h e c o re A P M axi o m - i s
p res u ma b l y i n te n d ed to m a k e p o r n s e e m m o re seri o u s . A n d yet,
if m e n cal l the s h ots a n d the syste m ' s b u i l t- i n te n d e n cy (as we' re
to l d ) is to d e n at u re o p posi t i o n a l i n i t i at i ves of w h i c h t h e
fem i n i sts' i s t h e m ost revo l ut i o n ary, t h e n t h e l i ke l y res u l t i s
rath e r to m ake rape see m m o re t r i v i a l . I t's t h e o l d sto ry of t h e
wo m a n w h o c ri ed w o l f . ( S i m i l a rl y , t h e m a n i p u l a t i ve m ed i a l i n e
that " a n t i -Z i o n i s m i s a n t i-Se m i t i s m " worked won d e rs t o sa n itize
I s rael u nt i l its expa n s i o n i s m-cu m -exte r m i n i s m e n g e n d e red a n t i ­
Z i o n i sts w h o j ust m ig ht p roceed to ta ke t h e B ' n a i B ' r i t h
d efa mati o n i sts at face va l u e . )
Acco rd i n g to fe m i n o i d e p i stem o l og y , m e n u n d e rsta n d
n ot h i n g o f t h e rea l n a t u re o f wo m e n . O n e m i g h t l o g i ca l l y
s u p pose that t h e estra n g e m e n t o f t h e sexes res u l t i n g f ro m
d i s pa rate ro les a n d d i sc ri m i nati o n wo u l d work both ways , a n d
s o m ost o f u s atte n d i n g t o o u r actual expe r i e n ces re l u cta n t l y
c o n c l u d e . B u t n o : m e n d o n 't u n d e rsta n d w o m e n , b u t wo m e n ( a t
a n y rate t he i r rad i c a l fe m i n i st va n g u a rd ) u nd e rsta n d m e n .
W o m e n - fe m i n i st expe rts , a nyway - u n d e rsta n d p o r n og ra p h y
a n d i ts mean i ng fo r m e n m uc h bette r t h a n t h e m e n w h o w rite
a n d read i t - and l e s b i a n -sepa rati sts , w h o avo i d m e n a n d
d ec l i ne to h ave sex w i t h t h e m , a p p reci ate t h ese veri t i es best of
a l l . The m o re re m ote you r expe r i e n c e i s from the rea l l i fe of
ac t u a l m e n , t h e bette r y o u u n d e rsta nd it. T u rn i n g t h i s a ro u n d ,
i s n 't t h e Pope, a s h e c l a i m s , t h e u l t i m ate a u t h o ri ty o n wo m e n
a n d sexu a l i ty?
The asse rted con nect i o n of p o r n with ra pe i s a l l e g o r i ca l , n ot
e m p i r i ca l . As a c o r re l a t i o n i t co m pa res w i t h t h e rece n t l y revi ved
" reefe r m a d ness" m a r i j u a n a-to- h e ro i n R a ke's ( Ra p i st's?)
Prog ress l i n e in a b s u rd i ty n o l ess than in s u itab i l ity fo r the

1 35
state's p u rposes. I f fe m i n i s m d i d n 't exist, c o n se rvative
p o l i t i c i a n s wou l d h ave had to i n ve n t it. ( W h y , p ray tel l , d i d a l l ­
m a l e l e g i s l atu res eve r c r i m i n a l i ze " o bsce n i ty" i n t h e f i rst p l ace?
A n d w h y d o a l l - m a l e co u rts a r b i t ra ri l y exc l u d e i t f ro m
c o n s t i t u t i o n a l p rotect i o n ? ) A P M h a rp i e s , s h o u l d they eve r d ea l
w i t h peo p l e i n stead o f t h e i r o w n feve red p rojecti o n s , wou l d
d i scove r t h at p o r n i s o f n o i nterest to t h e m aj o r i ty o f post­
p u besc e n t m a l es - n ot beca use t h e y a re po l i t i ca l l y c o r rect, b u t
j u st beca u s e i t ' s o b v i o u s l y g ross, s l eazy, a n d above a l l , i nferi o r
t o t h e rea l t h i n g .
T h e fem i n i st b o o k - b u r n e rs a re coward l y o p p o rt u n i sts . I f what
t h ey o bj ect to i s s u b l i m i na l soc i a l izat i o n of w o m e n i nto
s u bse rvi e n t roles vi s-a-vi s men ( c u r i o u s l y , a d o pt i n g the sa m e
ro l e s vis-a-vi s b utch l e s b i a n s i s h a r m l ess f u n ) , t h e i r p r i m a ry ,
n ea r- p ree m pt i ve p reocc u pati o n wo u l d h ave to be
Cosm opolita n , B a rbara Co u rt l a n d ro m a n ces, a n d t h e vast
c rypto- p o r n o g ra p h i c pop l i te rat u re w ri tten for a n d s n a p ped u p
b y wo m e n . Afte r a l l , t h e g o re a n d v i o l e nce a re d e ri vative: o n l y
vi cti m s c a n be v i c t i m ized i n a n y way. F i ftee n yea rs a g o , t h e
o ri g i n a l w o m e n 's l i b e rat i o n i sts ( s u bseq u e n t l y s w i t c h e d l i ke
c h a n g e l i ng s w i t h tod ay's p ri estesses, lawyers a n d u psca l e
b u re a u c rettes ) a t l east lashed o u t a t i nf l u e n t i a l e n e m i es l i ke
H u g h H ef n e r a n d A n d y Warh o l . N owadays t h ey terro rize
tee n a g e p u n k a n a rc h i sts {th i s a n ecd ote i s from The Ma tch!)
w h ose c o l l ages i n s i n u ate t h at M a rg a ret T h atc h e r f o r i n sta nce i s
a r u l e r , t h e " m ot h e r of a t h o u s a n d d ead , " n ot a " s i ster. " S u c h i s
t h e l og i c o f t h i s b i za r re b i o l og ic a l dete r m i n i s m : a n y a n i m a l
e q u i p ped w i t h a vag i na i s o n e of U s , a n y p r i c k - p ri v i l eged person
is one of T h e m . One can o n ly ec h o The F i res i g n T h eatre: " W h o
a m u s , a n yway?"
M a l e lefti sts , for i nsta n c e , a re easy and often wi l l i n g yes- m e n
to fem i n ist a g g ra n d i ze m e n t . T h ey c o m b i n e g u i l t at past
i m p ro p rieties (by a n d l a rg e , t h ose who feel g u i l ty - toward
wo m e n , b l ac k s , fore i g n e rs , w h atever - u s ua l l y are ) with a
p rese n t a m b i t i o n to g et i nto t h e l efti st-fe m i n i sts' pants. T h u s
Be rke ley, Ca l if o r n i a ( t o w h i c h I a m adjacent) i s c rawl i ng w i t h
m a l e "fe m i n i sts" w h o converted t h e eas i e r to g et l a i d . M u c h t h e
s a m e s c a m see m s to be h a p pe n i n g i n T o ronto a n d , d o u b t l ess,
many o t h e r p l aces. T h ese u lteri o r a m b it i o n s o b v i o u s l y d o n ' t , i n
t h e m s e l ves, d i sc re d i t t h e i d e o l o g i es to w h i c h t h e y a re a p p e n ded

1 36
- o n e can c o m e to t h e r i g h t c o n c l us i o n for t h e wo rst of
reaso n s . B u t i nsofa r as t h e o p i n i o n s at i s s u e certa i n ly see m to
be i d i ot i c to a n y o n e w i t h o u t extra n e o u s i nterest i n e m b rac i n g
t h e m , oth e rw i se i ne xp l i c a b l e pa roxys m s by male i nte l l ect u a l s
see m to be m ost p l a u s i b l y e x p la i n ab l e as se l f- i n te rested
i n s i n ce re rat i o n a l izat i o n s .
Poss i b l y t h e i d e o l og y I 've exc o r iated i s s o m et h i n g t h at peo p l e
h ad t o w o r k t h ro u g h i n o rd e r t o f ree t h e m s e l ves t o t h e exte n t
n ecessa ry t o ve n t u re u po n a p roject o f c o l l ec t i ve l i be rat i o n .
A l ready a l u m nae of fem i n i s m have m oved o n to t h e c o m m o n
q uest fo r f reed o m , a n d s o m e a re t h e bette r f o r what t h e y've b e e n
th ro u g h . W e a l l h ave o u r a n tece d e n t e m ba rrassme n ts ( M a rx i s m ,
l i be rtaria n i s m , syn d i ca l i s m , O bjecti v i s m , etc . ) to p u t be h i n d u s :
had w e not t h o u g h t i n i d e o l o g i c a l ter m s i t ' s h a rd to be l i eve we'd
eve r get to t h e po i nt w h e re we c o u l d t h i n k f o r o u rse l ves. To be a
T rotskyist o r a J es u i t i s , i n i tse l f , to be a be l i ever , t h at i s to say, a
c h u m p . A n d yet a r i g o ro u s rom p t h ro u g h any syste m m i g h t
s h ow t h e way o u t o f t h e m aste r-Syste m i tse l f .
N ot l i ke l y , h o weve r, w h e n wo m e n c r i t i c s a re ostrac ised a s
re negades wh i le m a l e c ri t i c s a re i g n o red o r d efa med as a m atte r
of p ri n c i pTe. (A p rec i se l y pa ra l l e l m e c h a n i s m for m a i n ta i n i ng a
con s p i racy of s i l e nce i s worked by Z i o n i sts: G e n t i l e c r i t i cs a re
"Anti-Sem i tes , " J e w i s h c r i t i c s can o n l y b e c o n s u med by " J e w i s h
se lf- h atred . " ) Separat i s m m ay be a bs u rd as a soc i a l p ro g ra m
a n d r i d d led w i t h i nc o n s i st e n c i es (scarcely a n y separati sts
sepa rate from pat r i a rc h a l soc i ety to a n yt h i n g l i ke the e xte n t
th at, say, s u rv i va l i sts d o - a n d n o body i nte rvenes m o re to m i n d
o t h e r peo p l e 's b u s i n ess t h a n sepa ratists ) . B u t sem i - i s o l at i o n
m a kes i t eas i e r to i n d octri n ate n e o p h ytes a n d s h u t o u t adve rse
evidence a n d a rg u me n t , a n i n s i g h t rad i c a l fe m i n i sts s h a re w i t h
M oo n ies, H a re K r i s h n a , a n d oth e r c u lt i sts . I t's fort u n ate t h at
t h e i r d octri n es a n d s u b c u l t u re as i n i t i a l l y e n co u nte red a re so
u na p petiz i n g . I nd eed , I 've n o t iced a g ray i n g of rad i c a l fe m i n i s m :
a s S i xt i es po l i t ics a n d c u l t u re c o n t i n ue t o g utter o ut , less a n d
l ess women have h a d t h e proper p re-soa k prepa ri n g t h e m fo r
fem i n ist b ra i nwash i n g . Rad i c a l fe m i n i sts (so ca l l ed ) i n t h e i r
early 20's a re ra re , a n d g�tti n g sca rce r.
Rad ical fem i n i s m ( no point d i s p u t i n g title to t h e p h rase with
its p rese n t owne rs) , t h e n , i s a l u d i c r o u s , h ate-f i l l e d ,
a u thoritari a n , sexist, d o g m a t i c c o n struct w h i c h revol u t i o n a ri e s

1 37
accord a n u n m e r i te d l e g i t i macy by tak i n g i t seri o us l y at a l l . I t i s
t i m e to stop matro n i z i n g t h ese terrori sts o f t h e t r i v i a l a n d h o l d
t h e m res po n s i b l e fo r p reac h i n g g e n o c i d a l j i ve a n d p ract i c i n g
eve ry evi l (eve n , i f t h e truth be t o l d , ra pe ! ) t h e y i n s i st h a s been
i nf l i cted o n t h e m (or rath e r, as i t u s u a l l y t u r n s o u t , o n s o m e
oth e r s u p po s i t i o u s " s i ster": t h e typical rad i c a l fe m i n i st has i t
p retty g o od ) . H o w to t h wa rt fe m i n o-fasc i s m ? T h at's easy: j u st
take fem i n i sts at face val u e a n d t reat t h e m as eq u a l s . . . t h e n h ea r
t h e m h o w l ! T h e E m p ress has n o c l ot h es . . . a n d tha t 's what I ca l l
obscene.
( 1 983)

1 38
 The Exquisite Corpse :
G ARY WARNE

Den n i s K a p l a n 's beat i f i cati o n of G a ry Wa rne ( S a n F ra n c i sc o

B a y G ua rdia n , J a n . 1 1 , 1 984) i s c l a pt ra p , b u t d oes attest to
Warne's one ta l e n t : the a b i l i ty to s u rro u n d h i m s e l f with a
fawn i n g fo l low i n g w i t h eve n l ess a u to n o my a n d i m ag i n at i o n
t h a n h e h a d . Warne's i nterest i n c u lts was e m i n e n t l y p ract i ca l .
H i s i d o l ators were p eo p l e w h o l i ke d to be t o l d w h at to d o eve n
as t h ey col lecti vely co n f i r m ed eac h oth e r's i l l u s o ry o r i g i na l ity
and d i st i n ct i ve n ess. With t h e i r own w i l l i n g co m p l i c ity, Wa r n e
d i stracted h i s d evotees from fac i ng t h e i r so rd i d a n d s u bserv i e n t
eve ryday l i ves, w h i c h n e i t h e r h e n o r t h e y wo u l d eve r d ream o f
c h a l l e n g i n g , w i t h a n i m pove r i s h e d ve rs i o n of " p lay" at o n c e
t r i vi a l i ze d , t ra n q u i l i z i n g a n d soc i a l l y safe .
E n d owed w i t h a l l t h e c h a r i s m a of a Cab bage Patc h K i d ,
d evo i d o f c a n d o r a n d co u rage, often c h i l d i s h b u t n eve r c h i l d l i ke ,
g reedy i n g ru b by l i tt l e ways, Warne was sta n d off i s h n o t o n l y o u t
of n e u rosis a n d s n o b be ry b u t beca u se h e a l ways h ad s o m et h i n g
t o h i d e . T o l o o k h i m stra i g h t i n t h e eye was a l ways e n o u g h t o
m a ke h i m sq u i rm . Ka p l a n p rete n d s ( o r maybe eve n be l ieves )
t h a t Warne d i sd a i ned t o p rofit f r o m h i s p l oys, b u t i t was n o t fo r
l ac k of tryi n g . He a l ways pa n ha n d l ed for what h e wanted w h i l e
c h a rg i n g fo r what h e h a d t o p u rvey.
Warne was a p a ras i te o n the p l a y- i n st i nct, a n i nd o l e n t
i d e o l o g u e o f w o r k ( f o r o t h e r peo p l e ) , t h e voye u r of scenes too
a n i m ated for h i s own pa rt i c i pati o n . ( O n ce I e n c o u ntered h i m
a m o n g p u n ks , w h o m h e h ated , at a n afte rho u rs ve n u e: g ri m l y
sta n d i ng by, d o i n g h i s d uty to kee p u p o n t h e u n u s u a l . ) H e
fea red spontane ity a n d real p lay beca u se h e c o u l d neve r
expe r i e n ce t h e m a n d because t h ey were o u t s i d e h i s c o n t ro l .
A n d Warne a t a l l costs had t o be i n c o n t ro l , even i f i t meant
l oosi n g v i o l e n ce o n t h e i n s u b o rd i nate.
N ea r the e n d , G a ry Wa rne f i n a l l y f o u n d h i m s e l f . H e beca m e a
c o p . T h e re i s noth i n g e l se t h at needs to be sa i d .
( 1 984)

1 39
 THE LIBERTARIAN AS
CONSERVATIVE

(A shorter, differe n t version o f this a rticle was delivered as a n

a ddress a t t h e fourth annual convoca tion o f the Eris Society in
A spen, Colora do in A ugust 1 984. )

I ag reed to c o m e h ere today to s pea k o n s o m e s u c h s u bj ect as

"T h e L i bert a r i a n as C o n s e rvat i ve . " To m e t h i s i s so o bv i o u s
t h at I a m h a rd p u t to f i n d s o m et h i n g to s a y to peo p l e w h o sti l l
t h i n k l i b e rta r i a n i s m h as s o m et h i ng t o d o w i t h l i be rty . A
l i berta r i a n i s j u st a R e p u b l i c a n w h o takes d r u g s . I 'd h ave
p refe r red a m o re c o n t rovers i a l t o p i c l i ke "The M yt h of the Pen i l e
O rg as m . " B u t s i n ce m y att e n d a n c e h e re i s s u bs i d ized b y t h e
esteemed d i st r i b u t o r o f a verita b l e refe re n ce l i b ra ry o n m ay h e m
a n d d i rty t r i c k s , I c a n ' t j ust take t h e c o n c h a n d g o rog u e . I w i l l
i n d eed m ut i l ate t h e sacred cow w h i c h i s l i bertar i a n i s m , as
o rd e red , b u t I ' l l ad m i n ister a few h a rd l efts to t h e ri g ht i n m y own
way. A n d I d o n 't mean t h e easy way. I c o u l d j u st point to the
l ai ssez-fa i re T r i l ateral i s m of t h e L i berta r i a n P a rty , t h e n l eave
and go l o o k for a party. It doesn't take l o n g to say t h at i f y o u
f i g ht f i re w i t h f i re , you ' l l g et b u rn e d .
I f that we re a l l I came u p w i t h , somebody wo u l d u p a n d say
that the LP has l a psed f ro m the l i be rta r i a n fa i t h , j u st as
C h r i st i a n s h ave i n s i sted that t h e i r behavi o r ove r the last 1 900
yea rs o r so s h o u l d n 't be held aga i n st C h rist i a n ity. T h e re a re
l i berta r i a n s w h o t ry to retr ieve l i b e rtari a n i s m from t h e
L i be rta r i a n Pa rty j ust as t h e re a re C h r i st i a n s w h o t r y to rec l a i m
C h r i st i a n i ty from C h riste n d o m a n d c o m m u n i sts ( I 've t r i ed to
m yself) who t ry to save co m m u n i s m from t h e C o m m u n i st
parties a n d states. They ( a n d I ) meant we l l b u t we l ost.
L i bertari a n i s m is pa rty-a rc h i st fri n g e-ri g ht i s m j u st as soc i a l i s m
rea l l y i s what Easte r n E u ropea n d i ss i d ents c a l l " rea l soc i a l i s m , "
i. e., t h e rea l - l i fe state-soc i a l i s m o f q ue u e s , q u otas, c o r r u pti o n
a n d coerc i o n . B u t I c h oose n ot to k n oc k d own t h i s l i berta r i a n
straw m a n -qua-m a n w h o ' s b l owi n g ove r a nyway. A w i n g of t h e
Reag a n i st R i g ht h as obvi o u s l y a p p ro p ri ated , w i t h s u s pect

1 41
se l ecti v i ty, s u c h l i be rta r i a n t h e mes as d e reg u l ati o n a n d
vo l u n tari s m . I d eo l og ues i n d i g nate that Reagan h a s t ravest i e d
t h e i r p r i n c i p l e s . To u g h s h i t ! I n ot i c e t h at it's their p r i n c i p les, n ot
m i n e , that h e fo u n d s u i ta b l e to t ravesty. T h i s k i nd of q ua r re l
d oesn't i nterest m e . M y reaso n s for reg a rd i n g l i bertari a n i s m a s
conservat i ve r u n d e e p e r t h a n that.
My target i s what m ost l i be rta r i a n s have in c o m m o n - with
each other, a n d w i t h t h e i r oste n s i b l e e n e m i e s . L i be rta r i a n s se rve
the state a l l t h e bette r because they d ec l a i m a g a i nst i t . At
botto m , they want what it wants . But you can't want what t h e
state wa nts w i t h o u t wa n t i n g t h e state , for w h a t t h e state wa nts i s
the c o n d i t i o n s i n wh i c h i t f l o u r i s h es . M y ( u n f ri e n d ly) a p p roac h
to modern soc i ety i s to reg a rd i t as a n i n teg rated tota l i ty. S i l l y
d octri n a i re t h e o r i es w h i c h reg a rd t h e state as a pa ras i t i c
exc rescence o n society ca n n ot exp l a i n its centu ries- l o n g
p e rs i ste n c e , i ts o n g o i n g e n c roac h m e n t u po n w h at was
p rev i o u s l y m a rket te r ra i n , or i ts acce pta nce by t h e
overwh el m i n g m aj o ri ty of p eo p l e i nc l u d i n g i ts d e m o n st ra b l e
vi cti m s .
A fa r m o re p l a us i b l e t h e o ry i s that t h e state a n d (at l east) this
form of soc i ety h ave a sym b i ot i c ( h oweve r sord i d )
i n te rd e p e n d e n c e , that t h e state a n d s u c h i n st i t u t i o n s a s t h e
ma rket a n d t h e n u c l ea r fa m i ly a re , i n severa l ways, m od e s o f
h i e ra rc h y a n d c o n t ro l . T h e i r a rti c u l at i o n i s n ot a l ways
h a rm o n i o u s ( h e re i n of t u rf-f i g h ts) b u t they s h a re a c o m m o n
i n te rest i n co n s i g n i n g t h e i r c o n f l icts t o e l i te o r expert res o l u t i o n .
T o d e m o n ize state a u t h oritari a n i s m w h i l e i g n o r i n g i d e nt i c a l
a l be i t c o n t ract-c o n sec rated s u bse rv i e n t arra n g e m e nts i n t h e
l a rg e-sca l e c o r p o rat i o n s w h i c h c o n t ro l t h e w o r l d eco n o m y i s
fet i s h i s m a t i ts worst. A n d yet (to q u ote t h e m ost voc i fe ro u s o f
rad i c a l l i b e rta ri a n s , P rofesso r M u r ray R o t h b a rd ) t h e re i s
noth i n g u n - l i b e rta r i a n a b o u t " o rg a n i zat i o n , h ie ra rc h y , wage­
work, g ra n t i n g of f u n d s by l i b e rta r i a n m i l l i o n a i res, a n d a
l i b e rta r i a n pa rty . " I nd e e d . T h at i s w h y l i b e rta r ia n i s m i s j ust
conservat i s m with a rat i o n a l i st/posi t i v i st veneer.
L i b e rta r i a n s re n d e r a serv i c e to t h e state w h i c h o n l y they ca n
p rovi d e . F o r a l l t he i r c o m p l a i nts a b o u t its i l l i c i t exte n s i o n s t h e y
c o n ced e , i n t h e i r l u c i d m o m e nts, that t h e state r u les far m o re b y
consent t h a n b y c o e rc i o n - w h i c h i s to say, o n p rese n t-state
" l i b e rta ri a n " te r m s t h e state d oesn 't r u l e at a l l , it m e re l y carri es

1 42
o u t t h e tac i t or exp l i c i t terms of its c o n t racts . I f i t see m s
c o nt rad i ctory t o say that coerc i o n i s c o n s en s ua l , t h e
c o n t rad i c t i o n i s i n t h e wo r l d , n ot i n t h e exp ress i o n , a n d c a n 't
adeq u ate l y be re n d e red exce pt by d i a lect i c a l d i sco u rse. O n e­
d i m e n s i o n a l syl l og i st i c s c a n 't d o j u stice to a world l a rg e l y
l ac k i n g i n t h e vi rt u e . I f you r l a n g u ag e lacks poetry a n d p a radox,
it's u ne q u a l to t h e tas k of acco u n t i n g for act u a l i ty. O t h e rwise
a n yt h i n g rad i ca l l y new i s l i te ra l l y u n s pe a ka b l e . T h e sc h o l ast i c
"A = A" l o g i c c reated by t h e Cat h o l i c C h u rc h w h i c h t h e
l i be rta r i a n s i n h e r i ted , u n q uest i o n ed , f ro m t h e Ra n d i tes i s j u st a s
c o n strictively c o n s e rvat i ve as t h e Newspea k of 1 984 .

T h e state c o m m a n d s , f o r t h e m ost part , o n l y because i t

c o m m a n d s po p u l a r s u p po rt . I t i s ( a n d s h o u l d be) a n
e m ba rrass m e n t t o l i be rta r i a n s t h at t h e state r u les w i t h m ass
s u p po rt - i n c l u d i n g , for a l l p ra ct i c a l p u rposes, t h e i rs .
L i be rta r i a n s re i n fo rce acq u i esce n t att i t u d es by d i ve rt i n g
d i sc o n te n ts w h i c h a re g e n e ra l ized ( o r te n d i ng t h at way) a n d
foc u s i n g t h e m o n parti c u l a r featu res a n d f u n ct i o n s o f t h e state
w h i c h t h ey a re the f i rst to i ns i st a re expe n d a b l e ! T h u s t h ey t u r n
pote n t i a l revo l u t i o n a ries i nto re pa i rm e n . Constructive c r i ti c i s m
i s rea l ly t h e s u btl est s o rt o f praise. I f t h e l i b e rta ri a n s s ucceed i n
re l i evi n g t h e state o f i t s exig u o u s act i v i t i es , t h e y j ust m i g h t b e i ts
sa l vat i o n . N o l o n g e r w i l l reve re nce fo r a u t h o rity be e roded b y
t h e p reva l e n t off i c i a l i nepti t u d e . T h e m o re t h e state does, t h e
m o re i t d oes bad l y . S u re l y o n e reason for t h e c o m m o n m a n 's
ave rs i o n to C o m m u n i s m i s h i s re l ucta n c e to see t h e e n t i re
eco n o m y r u n l i ke t h e Post O ff i ce. T h e state t r i es to t u rn its
so l d i e rs a n d p o l i c e m e n i nto objects of v e n e rat i o n and respect,
but u n iforms l ose a lot of t h e i r m ysti q ue w h e n you see t h e m o n
park ra n g e rs a n d g a rbage m e n .
T h e i d e a l s a n d i nsti t u t i o n s o f a u t h o ri ty t e n d t o c l u ste r
toget h e r , both s u bject i ve l y a n d o bj ect ively. Y o u may reca l l
Ed wa rd G i b b o n 's rem a rk a b o u t t h e ete r n a l a l l i a n c e of T h ro n e
a n d A l tar. D i saffecti o n from rec e i ved d og mas h a s a t e n d e n c y t o
s p read . I f t h e re i s a n y f ut u re f o r f re ed o m , i t d e pe n d s o n t h i s .
U n less a n d u nti l a l i e n ati o n recog n i zes itse l f , a l l t h e g u n s t h e
l i be rta r i a n s c h e r i s h wi l l be u se l ess a g a i n st t h e state .
You m i g ht o bject t h at what I 've s a i d may a p p l y to t h e
m i n a rc h i st m aj o r i ty of l i b erta r i a n s , b u t n ot to t h e self-styl e d

1 43
a n a rc h i sts a m o n g t h e m . N ot so. To m y m i n d a ri g h t-wi n g
a n a rc h i st i s j ust a m i n a rc h i st w h o 'd a b o l i s h t h e state to h i s own
sati sfac t i o n by cal l i ng i t s o m et h i n g e l s e . But this i ncest u o u s
fam i ly s q u a b b l e i s n o affa i r of m i n e . B o t h c a m ps ca l l for p a rt i a l
o r c o m p l ete p ri vatizat i o n o f state f u n cti o n s b u t n e i t h e r
q uest i o n s t h e f u ncti o n s t h e m s e l ves. T h ey d o n 't d e n o u nce what
the state d oes, t h ey j ust o bj ect to who's d o i n g i t . T h i s is w h y the
peo p l e m ost victi m ized b y t h e state d i s p l a y t h e least i n te rest i n
l i b e rtari a n i s m . T h ose o n t h e rec ei v i n g e n d o f coerc i o n d o n 't
q u i b b le over t h e i r coerc e rs ' c re d e n ti a l s . I f yo u ca n 't pay o r d o n 't
want to, you d o n 't m u c h c a re i f yo u r d e p r i vat i o n i s ca l led
l a rc e n y o r taxati o n o r rest i t u t i o n o r re n t . If yo u l i ke to control
you r own time, yo u d i st i n g u i s h e m p l oy m e n t from e n s lave m e n t
o n l y i n d e g ree a n d d u rati o n . A n i d e o l ogy w h i c h outd oes a l l
oth e rs ( w i t h t h e poss i b l e except i o n o f M a rx i s m ) i n its exaltat i o n
o f t h e w o r k eth i c c a n o n l y be a b rake o n a n t i -a u t h o ri t a r i a n
o ri e n tati o n s , e v e n i f i t d oes make t h e t ra i n s ru n o n ti m e .
M y seco n d a rg u me n t , rel ated to t h e f i rst, i s t h a t t h e l i b e rta r i a n
p h o b i a as to t h e state ref lects a n d rep ro d uces a p rofo u n d
m i s u n d e rsta n d i n g o f t h e o p e rative fo rces wh i c h make fo r soc i a l
c o n t ro l i n t h e m od e rn wo rl d . If - a n d th i s i s a b i g " i f , " espec i a l l y
w h e re b o u rg e o i s l i be rta r i a n s a re concerned - w h at yo u want i s
t o m ax i m ize i nd i v i d u a l a u t o n o m y , t h e n i t i s q u ite c l e a r t h a t t h e
state i s t h e l east o f t h e p h e n o m e n a w h i c h sta n d i n yo u r way.
I mag i n e that you a re a M a rt i a n a n t h ro p o l og i st spec i a l i z i n g i n
Terra n st u d ies a n d eq u i pped w i t h t h e f i nest i n te lescopes a n d
v i d e o e q u i p m e n t . Y o u have n ot yet d ec i p h e red a n y Terran
l a n g u a g e and so yo u c a n o n l y reco rd what Earth l i n g s do, n ot
t h e i r s h a re d m i sc o n ce p t i o n s as to what they' re d o i n g a n d w h y .
H oweve r, yo u c a n g a u g e m u g h l y w h e n t h ey're d o i n g what t h ey
want a n d w h e n t hey're d o i n g s o m et h i n g e l s e . Yo u r fi rst
i m p o rta n t d iscovery is that Earth l i ng s devote n e a r l y a l l thei r
t i m e to u n we l c o m e acti v i t i e s . T h e o n l y i m po rta n t except i o n i s a
d wi n d l i n g set of h u n te r-gath e re r g ro u ps u n p e rt u rbed b y
g ove rn m ents, c h u rc h es a n d s c h o o l s w h o d evote s o m e fou r
h o u rs a day to s u b s i ste n c e acti v i t i es wh i c h so c l ose l y rese m b l e
t h e l e i s u re act i v i t i es o f t h e p r i v i l eg ed c l asses i n i n d ustrial
ca p i ta l ist c o u ntries that y o u a re u nc e rta i n w h et h e r to desc r i b e
w h a t t h e y d o as work o r p l a y . B ut t h e state a n d t h e m a rket a re
e rad i cati n g t hese h o l d o uts a n d you very properly c o n c e nt rate

1 44
o n t h e a l m ost a l l - i n c l u s i ve w o r l d -syste m w h i c h , for a l l its
evi d e n t i nte r n a l a n tag o n i s m s as e p i t o m ized in war, i s m uc h t h e
sa m e eve ryw h e re . T h e Te rra n yo u n g , yo u f u rt h e r o b s e rve , a re
a l m ost wh o l l y s u bject to t h e i m pos i t i o n s of t h e fam i ly a n d t h e
schoo l , s o m et i mes sec o n d e d b y t h e c h u rc h a n d occasi o n a l l y
t h e state . T h e a d u lts ofte n asse m b l e i n fa m i l ies too , b u t t h e
p l ace w h e re t h ey p a s s t h e m ost t i m e a n d s u b m i t to t h e c l osest
c o n t ro l i s at wo r k . T h u s , w i t h o u t eve n enteri n g i nto the q u esti o n
o f t h e world eco n o my's u l t i mate d i ctat i o n w i t h i n n a r row l i m its of
eve rybody's p rod u ct i ve acti v i ty , it's a p pa re n t that the sou rce of
the g reatest d i rect d u ress expe r i e n ced b y the o rd i n a ry ad u l t i s
n o t t h e state b u t rath e r t h e b u s i ness that e m pl oys h i m . You r
fo re m a n o r s u perv i s o r g i ves you m o re o r-else o rd e rs i n a wee k
t h a n t h e p o l i ce d o i n a d ecade .
I f o n e l oo ks at t h e wo rl d w i t h o u t p rej u d ice b u t w i t h a n eye t o
maxi m i z i n g f reed o m , t h e m aj o r coe rci ve i nsti t u t i o n i s n o t t h e
state , i t ' s work. L i be rta r i a n s w h o w i t h a stra i g h t face ca l l f o r t h e
a bo l i t i o n o f t h e state n o nethe less l o o k o n a n t i -work att i t u d es
w i t h h o rror. T h e i dea of a bo l i s h i n g work i s , of c o u rse, a n affro n t
t o c o m m o n se nse. B u t t h e n so i s t h e i dea o f a b o l i s h i n g t h e state .
I f a refe re n d u m we re h e l d a m o n g l i be rta r i a n s w h i c h posed as
o p t i o n s the a b o l i t i o n of wo rk with rete n t i o n of the state , o r
a b o l i t i o n o f t h e state w i t h rete n t i o n o f wo r k , d oes a n y o n e d o u bt
t h e o utco m e ?

L i b e rtar i a n s a re i nto l i nea r reaso n i ng a n d q ua n t i tati ve

a n a l ys i s . If they a p p l i e d t h ese m e t h o d s to test t h e i r o w n
p resc r i p t i o n s th ey'd b e i n for a s h o c k . T hat's t h e po i n t of m y
M a rt i a n t h o u g h t expe r i m e n t . T h i s i s n ot to s a y that t h e state i s n 't
j ust as u n savory as t h e l i be rta r i a n s say i t i s . B u t i t does s u g g est
t h at the state is i m p o rta n t , n ot so m uc h fo r the d i rect d u ress it
i nf l i cts on c o n v i cts a n d c o n sc ri pts , for i n st a n c e , as for its
i n d i rect back- u p of e m p l oyers wh o reg i m e n t e m p l oyees ,
s h o pkeepers w h o a rrest s h o p l i fters, a n d parents w h o
pate r n a l ize c h i l d re n . I n t h ese c lassro o m s , t h e l esso n of
s u b m i s s i o n is l ea r n e d . Of c o u rse , t h e re a re a lways a few f reaks
l i ke a n a rc h o-ca p i ta l i sts o r Cat h o l i c a n a rc h i sts, b ut t h ey ' re j ust
excepti o n s to the r u l e of ru l e .
U n l i ke s i d e i s s u e s l i ke u n e m p l o y m e n t , u n i o n s , a n d m i n i m u m ­
wage laws, t h e s u bj ect o f work itself i s a l m ost e n t i re l y absent

1 45
from l i be rta r i a n l i te rat u re . M ost of what l ittl e t h e re i s co n s i sts of
R a n d ite ran t i n g s a g a i n st pa rasites, b a re l y d i st i n g u i s h a b l e f ro m
t h e i n vective i nf l i cted o n d i ss i d e n ts b y t h e Soviet press, a n d
S u n day-sc h o o l p l a t i t u d i n i z i n g that t h e re i s n o f ree l u nc h - t h i s
from fat cats w h o h ave u s u a l l y i n g ested a l o t o f t h e m . I n 1 980 a
ra re exce pti o n a p pea red i n a book revi ew p u bl i s h ed i n t h e
L ibertarian Revie w b y P rofesso r J o h n H ospers, t h e L i b e rta r i a n
Party e l d e r state's-m a n w h o f l u n ked o u t of t h e E l ectoral C o l l eg e
i n 1 972 . H e re was a s p i rited d efe n se o f work by a c o l l eg e
p rofessor w h o d i d n 't have t o d o a n y . T o d e m o n st rate that h i s
a rg u m e nts we re t h orou g h l y c o n s e rvat ive, i t i s e n o u g h to s h o w
t h a t they ag reed i n a l l esse n t i a l s w i t h M a rx i s m - le n i n i s m .
H o s pe rs t h o u g h t h e c o u l d j ustify wage-labor, factory
d i sc i pl i ne a n d h ie ra rc h i c m a n a g e m e n t by n oti n g that t hey're
i m posed in Len i n i st reg i mes as wel l as u n d e r cap i ta l i s m . Wou l d
h e accept t h e sa m e a rg u me n t for t h e n ecess i ty o f re p ressi ve sex
and d ru g l aws? l i ke o t h e r l i berta r i a n s , Hospe rs is u neasy -
h e n ce h i s g rat u i to u s red - b a i t i ng - beca u se l i b e rta ri a n i s m a n d
len i n i s m a re as d i ff e re n t as C o k e a n d Pepsi w h e n i t comes t o
con secrati n g c l ass soc i ety a n d t h e s o u rce o f i t s power, wo r k .
O n ly u po n t h e f i r m fo u n dat i o n of facto ry fasc i s m a n d off i c e
o l i g a rc h y d o l i b e rta ri a n s a n d le n i n i sts d a re to d e bate t h e t r i v i a l
i ssues d i v i d i n g t h e m . T o s s i n t h e m a i n st rea m c o n s e rvati ves w h o
fee l j ust t h e s a m e a n d we e n d u p w i t h a ve rita b l e tri l ate ra l i s m o f
p ro-wo rk i d e o l o g y seaso n e d to taste .
H os pe rs , w h o never h a s to, sees n ot h i n g d e m ea n i n g i n ta k i n g
o rd e rs from bosses, fo r " h ow e l se cou l d a l a rg e sca l e facto ry b e
o rgan i zed ? " I n oth e r word s , " wa n t i n g t o a bo l i s h a u t h o rity i n
l a rge-sca l e i n d u s t ry i s ta n ta m o u n t t o wa n t i n g t o a b o l i s h
i n d u st ry i tse l f . " Hospe rs aga i n ? N o, F red e r i c k E n g e l s ! M a rx
a g reed : " Go a n d r u n o n e of t h e Barc e l o n a facto ries w i t h o u t
d i recti o n , th at i s to say, w i t h o u t a uth o r i ty! " ( Wh i c h i s j ust what
the Cata l a n workers d i d in 1 936 , w h i l e t h e i r a n a rc h o-syn d i ca l i st
l eaders tem po rized a n d c u t d e a l s w i t h t h e g overn m e n t . )
"Som eone, " says H os pers, " h as to m a k e d ec i s i o n s a n d " -
h e re's the k i c ke r - "so m e o n e else has to i m p l e m e n t t h e m . "
Wh y ? H i s p re c u rso r Len i n l i kewise e n d o rsed " i n d i vi d u a l
d i ctato rial powe rs" t o assu re "absol ute a n d strict unity of will. "
" B ut h ow can strict u n ity of w i l l be e n s u re d ? By t h o u s a n d s
s u b o rd i nat i n g t h e i r wi l l to t h e w i l l of o n e . " W h at's n eeded to

1 46
m a k e i nd ustri a l i s m work i s " i ro n d i sci p l i ne w h i l e at wo r k , w i t h
unquestioning obedience to t h e w i l l of a s i n g le pe rso n , t h e
soviet leade r, wh i le at work . " A rbeit mach t frei!
S o m e peo p l e g i v i n g o rd e rs a n d others o beyi n g th e m : t h i s i s
t h e esse nce o f s e rv i t u d e . O f c o u rse , a s H o s p e rs s m u g l y
o bs e rves , " o n e c a n a t l east c h a n g e j o b s , " b u t yo u ca n 't avo i d
h avi n g a j o b - j ust a s u n d e r stati s m o n e c a n a t l east c h a n g e
nati o n a l i t i es b u t you ca n 't avo i d s u bjecti o n to o n e nati o n-state
or a n other. B u t f ree d o m m ea n s m o re t h a n the r i g h t to c h a n g e
masters.
H ospers and othe r l i b e rta r i a n s are w ro n g to ass u m e , with
M a n c h ester i nd u s t r i a l i st E n g e l s , t h at tec h n o logy i m poses its
d i v i s i o n of labor " i n d e p e n d e n t of social o rg a n izat i on . " R at h e r ,
t h e factory i s a n i n stru m e n t of soc i a l c o n t ro l , t h e m ost effective
eve r devised to e n f o rce t h e c l ass c h a s m betwee n t h e few who
" make d e c i s i o ns" a n d t h e m a n y w h o " i m p l e m e n t t h e m . "
I n d u st r i a l tec h n o logy i s m u c h m o re t h e prod u ct t h a n t h e s o u rce
of work p l ace tota l itari a n i s m . T h u s the revo l t a g a i n st work -
refl ected i n a bsentee i s m , sabotage , t u r n over, e m bezz l e m e n t ,
w i l d cat stri kes, a n d g o l d b r i c k i n g - has far m o re l i be ratory
p ro m i se t h a n t h e m ac h i nati o n s of " l i be rta r i a n " p o l i t i cos a n d
p ropag a n d i sts .
M ost work se rves t h e p redatory p u rposes of c o m m e rce a n d
coerc i o n a n d c a n be a bo l i sh e d o u t ri g h t . T h e rest ca n b e
a uto m ated away a n d/or t ra n sformed - by t h e expe rts, t h e
workers w h o d o i t - i n to c reat ive, p l ayl i ke past i mes w h ose
va r i ety and c o n v i vi a l i ty w i l l m a ke ext ri n s i c i n d u c e m ents l i ke the
ca p i ta l i st carrot and t h e C o m m u n i st stick e q u a l ly obsol ete . I n
t h e h o pef u l l y i m pe n d i n g meta- i n d ustrial revo l ut i o n , l i b e rta r i a n
co m m u n i sts revo l t i n g a g a i n st w o r k w i l l sett l e acco u n ts w i t h
" l i b e rta r i a n s " a n d " C o m m u n i sts" wo rk i n g a g a i n st revo lt. A n d
t h e n w e can g o fo r t h e g u sto !
Eve n if yo u th i n k eve ryth i n g I 've sa i d a b o u t wo r k , s u c h as t h e
poss i b i l i ty of its a b o l i t i o n , i s v i s i o n a ry n o n se n s e , t h e a n ti - l i b e rty
i m p l icat i o n s of its p reva l e nce wo u l d sti l l h o l d g ood . The t i m e of
you r l i fe is the o n e co m m od ity yo u can sel l b u t n eve r b u y bac k .
M u rray R oth b a rd th i n ks eg a l i ta ri a n i s m i s a revo l t a g a i n st n a t u re ,
b u t h i s d a y i s 2 4 h o u rs l o n g , j u st l i ke everybody e l se's. I f y o u
s p e n d m ost o f yo u r wa k i n g l ife tak i n g o rd e rs o r k i ss i n g ass , i f

1 47
you get h a b i t uated to h i e ra rc h y , yo u w i l l bec o m e pas s i ve­
agg ress ive, sad o-masoc h i s t i c , serv i l e a n d st u pi f i ed , a n d you w i l l
carry t h at l oad i nto eve ry as pect of t h e balance of you r l ife .
I n ca p a b l e of l i v i n g a l ife of l i be rty, you ' l l sett l e fo r o n e of its
i d e o l o g i c a l re p resentat i o n s , l i ke l i berta r i a n i s m . You can't t reat
va l u es l i ke workers, h i ri n g and f i r i n g t h e m at w i l l a n d assi g n i n g
each a p lace i n a n i m posed d i v i s i o n of l a b o r . T h e taste fo r
f reed o m a n d p l ea s u re ca n 't be com part m e n ta l i zed .
L i bertar i a n s c o m p l a i n t h at t h e state i s p a ras i t i c , a n
excresce nce o n society. T h ey t h i n k i t ' s l i ke a t u m o r you cou l d
c u t o u t , leav i n g t h e pati ent j u st a s he was , o n l y h ea l t h i e r .
T h ey've b e e n myst i f i ed by t h e i r own meta p h o rs . L i ke t h e
m a rket, t h e state i s a n acti v i ty, not a n e n t i ty. T h e o n l y w a y to
a bo l i s h t h e state i s to c h a n g e the way of l i fe i t forms a part of.
That way of l ife, i f you ca l l that l i v i n g , revo l ves a ro u n d w o r k a n d
takes i n b u rea u c racy, m o ra l i s m , sc h oo l i n g , m o n ey, a n d m o re .
L i berta r i a n s a re conservatives beca use t h ey avowed ly want
to m a i ntai n m ost of t h i s m ess a n d so u nwitti n g ly perpetuate the
rest of t he racket. B u t they're bad c o n s e rvati ves beca use t h ey've
fo rg otte n the rea l i ty of i nstituti o n a l and ideological
i n te rcon nect i o n w h i c h w a s t h e o ri g i n a l i n s i g h t of t h e h i sto rical
conservat i ves. E n t i rely o u t of t o u c h w i t h the rea l c u rrents of
c o n te m po ra ry resi sta n c e , t hey d e n o u nce prac tical o p p o s i t i o n to
t h e syste m as " n i h i l i s m , " " L ud d i s m , " a n d oth e r big wo rd s they
d o n 't u nd e rsta n d . A g lance at t h e world conf i r m s that thei r
u to p i a n capita l i s m j u st can 't compete with t h e state . W i t h
e n e m ies l i ke l i be rta r i a n s , t h e state d oesn 't need f r i e n d s .

( 1 984)

1 48
 ANARCHISM AND OTHER
IMPEDIMENTS TO ANARC HY

T h e re i s n o need at p rese n t to p rod uce new defi n i t i o n s of

a n a rc h i s m - i t wo u l d be h a rd to i m p rove o n t h ose l o n g s i n c e
d evised by va r i o u s e m i n e n t d ead fore i g n e rs . N o r n eed we l i n g e r
over t h e fa m i l i a r h y p h e n ated a n a rc h i s m s , c o m m u n ist- a n d
i nd i v i d u a l i st- a n d so f o rt h ; t h e textb ooks cover a l l t h a t . M o re t o
t h e po i nt i s w h y w e a re n o c l os e r to a n a rc h y today t h a n were
G o d w i n and P ro u d h o n and K ropotk i n and G o l d m a n i n t h e i r
ti mes. T h e re a re l ots of reas o n s , b u t t h e o n e s that m ost need to
be t h o u g h t a b o u t a re the o nes the a n a rc h i sts e n g e n d e r
t h e m se l ve s , s i nce i t i s t h ese o bsta c l es - i f a n y - i t s h o u l d b e
poss i b l e to re m ove. Poss i b l e , b u t n o t proba b l e .
M y co n s i d e red j u d g me n t , afte r yea rs o f scruti n y o f , a n d
somet i mes h a rrowi n g acti v i ty i n t h e a n a rc h i st m i l i e u , i s that
anarchis ts a re a m a i n reason - I s u s pect, a s u ff i c i e n t reaso n -
w h y a n a rc h y re m a i n s a n e pi t h et w i t h o ut a p rayer of a c h a nce to
b e rea l ized . M ost a n a rc h i sts a re , f ra n k ly , i n c a p a b l e of l i v i n g i n
a n a u t o n o m o u s cooperative m a n n e r . A lot of t h e m aren't very
b ri g h t . T h ey te n d to p e r u se t h e i r own c l assics a n d i n s i d e r
l i te ratu re to t h e exc l us i o n o f b roader k n ow l e d g e of t h e w o r l d we
l i ve i n . Esse n t ia l l y t i m i d , t h ey assoc i ate w i t h oth e rs l i ke
t h e m s e l ves w i t h t h e tac i t u n d e rsta n d i ng th at n o b o d y wi l l
meas u re a n y o n e e l se's o p i n i o n s a n d act i o n s ag a i n st a n y
sta n d a rd o f p ract i c a l c r i t i c a l i nte l l i ge n c e ; t h at n o o n e by h i s o r
h e r i n d i v i d u a l ac h i eve m e nts w i l l r i se too fa r ab ove t h e p reva l e n t
l eve l ; a n d , a bove a l l , t h a t n o b o d y c h a l l e n g e t h e s h i b b o l e t h s of
a n a rc h i st i de o l o g y .
A n a rc h i s m as a m i l i e u i s not so m u c h a c h a l l e n g e to t h e
exist i n g o rd e r as i t i s o n e h i g h l y spec i a l ized form o f
acco m o d at i o n to it. I t i s a w a y of l i fe , o r a n adj u nct of o n e , w i t h
its own part i c u l a r m i x of rewa rds a n d sac r i f i ces. Pove rty i s
o b l i gato ry, b u t for t h a t ve ry reason fore c l oses t h e q u esti o n
w h et h e r t h i s o r t h at a n a rc h i st c o u l d have bee n a n yt h i n g b u t a
fai l u re reg a rd l ess of i d e o l og y . T h e h i sto ry of a n a rc h i s m i s a

1 49
h i story of u n pa ra l l e l ed d efeat a n d m a rtyrd o m , yet a n a rc h i sts
ve n e rate t h e i r v i ct i m ized forebears w i t h a m o r b i d devot i o n
w h i c h occas i o n s s u s p i c i o n t h at t h e a n a rc h i sts, l i ke everybody
e l se , th i n k t h e only good a n a rc h ist i s a d ead o n e . Revo l u t i o n -
d efeated revo l ut i o n - i s g l o r i o u s , b u t i t b e l o n g s i n books a n d
pam p h l ets. I n t h i s centu ry - S p a i n i n 1 936 a n d France i n 1 968
are especi a l l y c l ea r cases - the revo l u t i o n a ry u ps u rg e c a u g ht
the offi c i a l , o rg a n ized a n a rc h i sts fl at-footed a n d i n i t ia l l y
n o n s u p po rtive o r worse . T h e reaso n i s n ot fa r t o see k . I t's n ot
t h at a l l t h ese i d e o l o g u es were h ypoc rites {so m e we re} . Rath e r ,
t h ey had w o r k e d o u t a d a i l y ro u t i n e of a n a rc h i st m i l itancy, o n e
they u n consc i o u s l y c o u n ted o n to e n d u re i n d ef i n i te l y s i nce
revo l u t i o n i s n 't really i ma g i n a b l e i n t h e h e re-a n d -now, a n d t h ey
reacted w i t h fea r a n d defe n s i ve ness w h e n eve n ts o u t d i stanced
t h e i r rh eto r i c .
I n oth e r word s , g i ve n a c h o ice between a n a rc h i s m a n d
a n a rc h y , m ost a n a rc h i sts wo u l d g o f o r the a n a rc h i s m i d e o l o g y
a n d s u b c u l t u re rat h e r t h a n t a k e a d a n ge r o u s leap i n to t h e
u n k n ow n , i n to a wo rld of state less l i be rty. B u t si nce a n a rc h i sts
a re a l m ost t h e o n l y avowed c ri t i c s of t h e state as s u c h , t h ese
f reed o m -fea ri n g fo l k wo u l d i n evita b l y ass u me p ro m i n e n t o r at
l east p u b l i c i zed p l aces in any i n s u rg e n cy wh i c h was g e n u i n e l y
a n t i -stat ist. T h e m s e l ves fo l l owe r-ty pes, t h e y wo u l d f i n d
t h e m s e l ves t h e l ea d e rs o f a revo l u t i o n w h i c h th reate ned t h e i r
sett led statu s no l ess t h a n t h at of t h e p o l i t i c i a n s a n d p r o p r i etors.
The a n a rc h i sts wou l d sa botag e t h e revo l ut i o n , c o n sc i o u s l y o r
ot h e rwise, w h i c h w i t h o u t t h e m m i g h t have d i s pen sed w i t h the
state without eve n p a u s i n g to re p l ay t h e ancient M a rx/Ba k u n i n
tuss l e .
I n t r u t h the a n a rc h i sts w h o ass u m e t h e n a m e h ave d o n e
n ot h i n g to c h a l l e n g e t h e state , n ot w i t h w i n d y u n read j a rg o n ­
r i d d led writi n g s , b u t w i t h t h e c o n tag i o u s exa m p l e o f a n oth e r
way t o rel ate to other peo p l e . A n a rc h i sts a s they c o n d uct t h e
a n a rc h i s m b u s i n ess a re t h e best refutat i o n of a n a rc h i st
p rete n s i o n s . T r u e , i n N o rth A m e r i c a at least t h e top-heavy
"fed e rat i o n s " of workerist organ izers h ave c o l l a psed i n e n n u i
a n d acri m o n y , a n d a g ood t h i n g too, b u t t h e i nf o r m a l soc i a l
struct u re of a n a rc h i sm i s sti l l h i e ra rc h i c t h ro u g h a n d th ro u g h .
T h e a n a rc h i sts p l ac i d l y s u b m i t to what Ba k u n i n cal l e d a n
" i n vi s i b l e g ove r n m e n t" w h i c h i n t h e i r case c o n s i sts o f t h e

1 50
e d i to rs ( i n fact i f n ot i n n a m e ) of a h a n d f u l of t h e l a r g e r a n d
l o n g e r- l ast i n g a n a rc h i st p u b l i ca t i o n s .
Th ese p u b l icati o n s , d e s p i te see m i n g l y p rofo u n d i d e o l o g i c a l
d iffe rences, h ave s i m i l a r "fath e r-k n ows-best" sta n ces v i s-a-v i s
thei r read e rs as we l l as a g e n t l e m e n ' s a g ree m e n t n ot t o pe r m i t
attacks u po n eac h o t h e r w h i c h wou l d expose i nc o n s i ste n c i es
a n d oth e rwise u n d e rm i ne t h e i r co m m o n c l ass i n te rest i n
h e g e m o n y over t h e a n a rc h ist ra n k-a n d -f i l e . O d d l y e n o u g h , y o u
can m u c h m o re read i l y c r i t i c i ze t h e Fifth Esta te o r Kick It O ver i n
thei r own pages t h a n you c a n t h e re c r i t i cize, say, Processed
World. Eve ry o rg a n izat i o n h a s m o re i n co m m o n w i t h every oth e r
o rg a n i zat i o n t h a n i t d oes w i t h a n y o f t h e u no rg a n ized . T h e
a n a rc h i st c r i t i q ue o f t h e state , i f o n l y t h e a n a rc h i sts u n d e rstood
it, i s but a spec i a l case of the c r i ti q ue of o rg a n i zat i o n . A n d , at
some leve l , even a n a rc h i st o rg a n izat i o n s sense t h i s .
A n t i -a n a rc h i sts m ay we l l co n c l u d e that i f t h e re i s to b e
h ie rarchy a n d coerc i o n , let i t be o u t i n t h e o pe n , c l ea r l y l a be l l e d
a s s u c h . U n l i ke th ese p u n d its ( t h e r i g h t-wi n g " l i berta r i a n s , " t h e
m i n arc h i sts, for i nsta nce) I stu b b o rn l y pe rs i st i n m y o p p os i ti o n
t o t h e state. B u t n ot because, a s a n a rc h i sts s o often
t h o u g h t l essly d ec l a i m , t h e state i s not " n ecessa ry . " O rd i n a ry
peo p l e d i sm iss t h i s a n a rc h i st asse rt i o n as l u d i c ro u s , a n d so t h e y
s h o u l d . O b v i o u s l y , i n a n i n d u s t r i a l ized c l ass soc i ety l i ke o u rs ,
t h e state is necessa ry. T h e p o i n t i s that t h e state h a s c reated t h e
con d i t i o n s i n w h i c h i t i s i n deed n ecess a ry , b y stri p p i n g
i n d i v i d u a l s a n d face-to-face vo l u nta ry assoc iat fo n s o f t h e i r
powe rs . M o re f u n d a m e n ta l l y , t h e state's u n d e rp i n n i ng s ( w o r k ,
m o ra l i s m , i nd u s t r i a l tec h n o l og y , h i e ra rc h i c o r g a n izat i o n s ) a re
not n ecessa ry b u t rat h e r a n t i t h et i c a l to t h e sat i sfact i o n of rea l
needs a n d d e s i res. U nfo rtu nate l y , m ost b r a n d s o f a n a rc h i s m
e n d o rse a l l th ese p re m i ses yet ba l k a t t h e i r l o g i ca l c o n c l u s i o n :
the state .
I f t h e re were n o a n a rc h i sts , t h e state wo u l d h ave h a d to i n ve n t
t h e m . We k n ow t h a t o n seve ral occas i o n s i t h a s d o n e j ust that.
We n eed a n a rc h i sts u n e n c u m be red by a n a rc h i s m . T h e n , a n d
o n ly th e n , w e c a n beg i n t o g et seri o u s a b o u t fo m e n t i n g a n a rc h y .

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 THE BEST BOOK CATALOG
IN THE WORLD

Loo m pa n i cs U n l i m i ted , 1 985 Main Ca ta log ( Po rt Townse n d ,

WA: Loom pa n ics U n l i m i ted , 1 985 ) . 1 48 p p , $2 . 00 o r f ree w i t h
b o o k o rd e r f r o m P O Box 1 1 97 , P o rt Tow n se n d , WA 98368 .

R e m e m b e r t h e Wh ole Earth Ca talog? S e l f-s uffi c i e n c y ,

pe rso n a l g rowt h , u t o p i a n v i s i o n s , i n n ovati ve tec h n o l ogy? W e l l ,
t h at was t h e n a n d n o w , it's today. N ot a l l t h at d iffere n t i n m a n y
o f i t s l i sti n g s , b u t ve ry d i ffe re n t i n i t s p u rpose a n d po i nt o f v i e w ,
i s t h e 1 985 M a i n Cata l og of L oo m pa n i cs U n l i m i ted , t h e d a r k s i d e
of t h e Powe r. I t i s CoEvolution Q uarterly r u t h less l y re-e d i ted b y
F r i ed r i c h N i etzsc h e . S o m e w h e re i n t h i s cata log t h e re m u st b e a
cookbook wh i c h l i sts a rec i pe fo r h o b b i t tarta re . T h e t i m e i s
n ow , t i mes a re to u g h a n d n i c e g u ys fi n i s h last. Loo m pa n ics i s
v i s i o n a ry , a l m ost m ystical i n i t s o w n way, b ut n o t t u n n e l ­
v i s i o n a ry . R i m ba u d i s g reat b u t h e bett e r m a ke l i ke R a m b o i f h e
wants to w i n .
T h i s i s e i t h e r t h e wo rst o r , a s i t m odest l y p ro poses, " t h e best
book cata l og in the wo rl d . " It i s by and for peo p l e who wa n t
f reed o m ; b u t w h o f i g u re t h at m ea n s t h e y wa n t powe r. T h e
d i sti n c t i o n i s , afte r a l l , a n e l u s i ve o n e . O n paper at l east,
Loom pa n i cs a n d its c u st o m e rs a re n ot too p a rt i c u l a r about w h at
i t takes to get w h a t they wa n t . M a n y of t h e books ava i l a b l e i n
t h i s 1 48-page cata l og ( a n d i n p rec i o u s few oth e r p l aces) te l l
h o w to d o t h e k i n d of t h i n g s best l eft u n d o n e i n a b ette r wo rl d ,
maybe even i n t h i s o n e . T h e re i s , for i n sta n c e , J o h n M i n n e ry's
s i x-vo l u m e epic Ho w to Kill, and the t o rt u re L i b ra ry , and t h e
l o c kp i c k i n g m a n u a l s by " Ed d i e t h e W i re . " ( M a n y L oo m pa n i cs
a u t h o rs use pse u d o n y m s - fo r g ood reaso n - a n d t h e n a m es
a l o n e te l l t h e sto ry: "Ad a m Cas h " ( G uerrilla Capita lism ) , " Rex
Fera l " ( Ho w t o Rip O ff a Drug Dealer) , " R a g n a r R e d b ea rd "
( Migh t Is Rig h t) , " X " C . P . A . (How to Ch eat on Your Taxes) , etc . ) .
P retty scary stuff , u h ?
N ot t o worry - too m u c h , a n yway. Avowed l y e g o i st a n d
a m o ra l i st , Loo m pa n i c s i s n o nethe less m o re rel i a b l e t h a n m ost

1 53
 m a i l-order b u s i nesses, j u st as a t h e i sts g e n e ra l l y l i ve m o re
eth i ca l l i ves t h a n C h rist i a n s . S e l f- i n te rest i s t h e reaso n . "So
c o n t rovers i a l a re t h e books we offe r , " w r i tes " P ro p rietor"
M i c h ael Hoy in t h e I n trod u ct i o n , "that m ost magaz i nes wi l l n ot
a l l ow u s to a d ve rt i s e . Bookstores a n d d i stri b u t o rs w i l l not ca rry
o u r p u b l i cati o n s . Peri o d i c a l s ref u se to revi ew o u r books . "
( U s u a l l y . ) Loo m pa n i cs p u b l i s hes s m a l l - p ress s ize ru n s o f a
l a rg e n u m be r of books of very l i m i ted a p peal a n d , as a res u l t ,
p ri ces a re h i g h . I t has to c u l t i vate i t s c u sto m e rs a n d kee p t h e m .
A n d w h o a re Loo m pa n ics c u sto m e rs? I d o n 't k n ow ( i t d oes
re n t its m a i l i n g l i st b u t yo u can check a b ox to opt off and you
d a m n we l l s h o u l d ) , b ut I d o u bt they a re the we l l -a rmed , h i g h ­
tec h , d ru g-ta k i n g , s u rvi va l i st , m a rt i a l a rts, b l ack-ma rketee ri n g ,
tax-d o d g i n g , paper-t ri p p i n g , h ea l t h - n u t , f ree-th i n k i n g
D i scord i a n m aste r c ri m i n a l s t h at a c o m posite o f cata l o g c u l l i n g s
wo u l d s u g g est. I t h i n k th ey a re m ostly s p i r i t u a l ly restl ess
c o n te m p l atives, probab l y l o c ked in stra i g h t j o bs , d rea m i n g of
escape - of "vo n u " ( i n v u l n e ra b i l i ty to coerc i o n t h ro u g h
w i t h d rawa l f ro m soc i ety) , of s pace c o l o n izat i o n , o f l i fe
exte n s i o n to t i d e them over t i l l a bette r day, of the b i g sco re .
T h ey take h o pe f r o m books t h at parad e t he i r c o n te m pt fo r
n o rm a l l i fe w h i l e p o rtray i n g fa n tast i c poss i b i l i t i e s a l ways
p rese nted i n a pate nted m a n n e r of to u g h - m i n d ed rat i o na l i s m .
T h e ty p i c a l Loo m pa n ics rea d e r i s , I conjectu re, a s u r rea l i st
t ra p ped i n t h e body of a n e n g i neer.
So I d o u bt t h e c r i m e rates a re affected o n e way or t h e o t h e r b y
t h e se l f- h e l p b u rg l a ry books - maybe a b i t b y t h e h a rass m e n t
a n d tax-evas i o n m a n u a l s - o r t h e c r i m e- p reve n t i o n texts . T h e
k no w l e d g e i n t h ese b o o k s i s , n ot n e u t ra l certa i n l y , b u t d o u b le­
e d g ed . Loo m pa n i cs says: i f a n y o n e k n ows t h i s stuff, why
s h o u l d n 't you? I n p a rt i c u l a r , Loo m pa n ics - p ro u d l y defi n i n g
itself as " t h e l u n a t i c f r i n g e of t h e l i be rta r i a n m o ve m e n t" -
asse rts t h at g ove r n m e n ts k n o w a l l a b o u t v i o l e n c e a n d d i rty
t r i c k s , i n d i v i d u a l s too had b ette r l e a r n t h e sco re . T h i s m i g h t
so u nd fac i l e a n d rh eto rica l b u t fo r t h e t h o u g h t- p rovo k i n g fact
t h at m a n y of Loom pa n i cs' vol u m es on the Da rk A rts a re n ot h i n g
m o re t h a n rep ri n ts o f g ove rn m e n t p u b l i cat i o n s , books l i ke
C o vert Surveillance and Elec tronic Penetra tion a n d Barrier
Pene tra tion D a tabase ( " a m u st for eve ry n uc l e a r terro rist's
l i b ra ry ! " ) . And i f you t h i n k books o n Ho w to S ta rt Your O wn

1 54
Coun try a n d Basement Nukes a re a b s u rd , t h ey n o n et h e l ess
sta r k l y pose q u esti o n s wh i c h a re n ot , l i ke " wh o i s q u a l i f i e d to
possess n uc l e a r wea p o n s i f I 'm n ot? " Loo m pa n i c s u n d e r m i nes
t h e rel i g i o n of nati o n a l i s m b y i n d i recti o n , in u nexpected ways .
As o n e Loo m pa n i cs a u t h o r o p i nes, " t h e w o r l d i s overpo p u l ated
w i t h p eo p l e who need to be h u rt . " But t h ese very p e o p l e - t h e
fe r ret-faced off i c i a l s , g overn m e ntal a n d c o r p o rate, a n d t h e i r
h a n g e rs-o n e - w i l l l i ke l y c o n t i n ue to d i s h i t o u t m u c h m o re
t h a n t h ey take i t , n ot from read i ng books o n h ow to m a k e b l ow­
g u ns and h eft m o rn i n g -sta rs b ut b y the i nexo ra b l e o rd i na ry
o p e rat i o n of t h e eve ryd ay ro u t i n e .
Th e Loo m pa n i c s p h i loso p h y i s t h a t , i n sofa r as vi cti m i zati o n i s
avoi d a b l e , i t i s vol u ntary. Y o u can ( i t i s c l a i m ed ) s u rv i ve a n d
eve n p rosper d u ri n g t h e b a d ti mes w h i l e awa i t i n g u to p i a n
sa l vati o n a n d eve n , s h o u l d i t fa i l to h a p pe n , w i t h o u t i t . T h e t i t l e
o f o n e c r i m e- p reve n t i o n b o o k ( b y a n ex-co n ) says i t a l l : Don 't
Become the Vic tim . O ve ra l l , t h i s i nd i v i d u a l i s t i c self-l i be rati o n
a p p roac h c a n be c h a racte rized as " a n a rc h o-ca p i ta l i s t , " b u t
Loo m pa n i cs h a s n 't h e s i tated to p u b l i s h l eft ist o r p ost-l eftist
texts w h i c h otherwise c o m p l e m e n t i ts p h i l os o p h y , and i ts
re l at i o n s w i t h t h e m a i nstream l i b e rta r i a n s , a l ways u n easy, a re
p e r h a ps be i n g l oose ned sti l l f u rt h e r . L oo m pa n i c s p u b l i s hed
E rwi n Strauss' The Case A gainst a L iberta rian Political Party as
wel l as re p r i nti n g the " co m m u n i st e g o i st " essay The Righ t to b e
G reedy b y " Fo r O u rse l ves . " I t carries Rao u l Va n e i g e m 's
Re volution of Everyday Life, t h e Swiss l eft ist g u i d e to fo re n s i c
sc i e nce Witho u t a Trace, a n d Pa u l Lafarg u e 's c l as s i c The Rig h t
t o be L azy ( " a l ittle c o m m u n i st p ropaga n d a s p ices u p a n y
cata l og " ) . Loo m pa n ics e m p h a t i ca l l y d e p a rts f r o m t h e u pti g h t
a n a l ity typ i ca l of l i b e rta r i a n s , w h o ten d n ot to read books l i ke
Play Poker, Q uit Work, and Sleep Till Noon. Even res o l ute
a n t i -stati sts d o n 't wa n t to k n ow How to Collect Unemployme n t
Insurance ( Even if You 're n o t Eligib le ) . ( M i n i -rev i e w of t h i s
vo l u me : s u g g estive, b u t t o o g e n e ra l u n less yo u l i ve i n Ca l if o r n i a ,
a n d eve n t h e n , p roce d u res c h a n g e s o often i t's foo l h a rd y to
fo l l ow any b l u e p r i n t u n t h i n k i n g l y . A t h e n f r i e n d of m i ne w h o
u sed t h e central p l o y - setti n g u p a s p u r i o u s fo r m e r " e m p l oyer"
- g ot cau g h t a n d h a d to pay i t all bac k . ) The g l ossy l i b e rta r i a n
m o n t h l y Reason b a n ned a l l Loo m pa n i c s advert i s i n g o n t h e
p retext t h at i t s advert i s i n g of The Rig h t t o be G reedy was

1 55
" offe n s i ve" ( read : d i sc o n c e rt i n g to l i berta r i a n s ) , w h i c h see m s to
bespeak a ce rta i n lack of fa i t h in the self-co rrect i n g m e c h a n i s m
of t h e free m a r ket.

I n a s m a l l way, Loo m pa n ics i s act u a l l y a va l ua b l e re p r i n t

p u b l i s h e r , a n d eve n a t i t s p r i ces cheaper t h a n t h e acad e m i c
re p r i n t h o u ses that cate r t o f ree-s pe n d i n g u n i ve rsity l i b raries.
Loo m p a n i c s h a s i ss u e d a p h oto rep r i n t of E u n i c e M i nette
Sc h u ste r's 1 932 h i sto ry of Na tive A merican A narchism a n d a
reset ed i t i o n of t h e Soc i a l Da rwi n i st ran t by " Rag n a r Red bea rd , "
Mig h t is Right. L o o m pa n i cs a l so carries Sti r n e r's Th e Ego and
His O wn , Lysa n d e r S p o o n e r's No Treason ( a n 1 867 c l assic by
a n abo l i t i o n i st-t u rned-a n a rc h i st lawyer a rg u i n g , in effect, t h at
t h e C o nstit u t i o n i s u nc o n st i t ut i o n a l ) , a n d works by H . L .
M e n c ke n o n N i etzsc h e . Loom pan ics i s t h e p u b l i s h e r o f t h e
D i sc o rd i a n c l ass i c Principia Discordia , w hose mythos i n s p i red
t h e m o re po p u l a r a n d l o n g - w i n d e d 11/umina tus! t r i l og y , a n d of
The World Power Fo unda tion: Its G oa ls and Pla tform w h i c h
ca l l s f o r a new, n o n - race-based s lave soci ety to sati sfy the
n ee d s of t h e m a n y to s u b m i t and of t h e few to d o m i nate . Two of
its post u l ates : " Exc i te m e n t i s m o re i m po rta n t t h a n eq u a l ity" a n d
" M i g h t a n d ri g h t a re n ot exact l y t h e sa m e , b u t afte r a few yea rs
n o o n e w i l l k n o w t h e d i ffe re n c e . "
R i p-off m a n u a l s a re i n a s e n se a n i d e a l p rod u ct beca use,
without p l a n n ed o b s o l esce n c e o r h a n ky-pan ky b y t h e p u b l i s h e r,
t h e i r very m a rket s uccess occas i o n s correct i ves a n d cou n te r­
measu res w h i c h fo rce t h e i r f re q u e n t revi s i o n or re p lace m e n t .
T h u s Th e Paper Trip I beg at The Paper Trip II a n d s o m e
s p i n offs , a l l ex p l a i n i n g h ow to c o n struct a d oc u m e nted new ( o r
s u p p l e m e n ta ry) i d e ntity fo r yo u rself. Bette r d o i t n ow befo re
C o n g ress m a n d ates a nati o n a l I . D . ! S i m i l a r l y t h e I RS c l oses
l oo p h o l e s as fast as the e l ite tax l awye rs open t he m , and by t h e
ti m e L o o m pa n i cs passes t h e word o n d o w n to t h e g ro u n d l i n g s i t
may be too l a t e . Act u a l l y t h e m ost d i ve rti n g Loo m pa n i c s
p u b l i c at i o n afte r t h e Cata l o g - L oompanics ' G re a test Hits
( a rt i c l es a n d i n te rvi ews g a t h e red f ro m seve ra l years of Cata l o g s
a n d S u p p l e m e n ts) - h as a cauti o n a ry " I n te rvi ew w i t h a
L i be rta r i a n C . P . A . o n Taxes" w h i c h b l u n t l y a n n o u nces th at
m a n y of the p l oys c h e ri s h e d b y tax p rotesto rs ( e . g . , that Fed e ra l
Rese rve N otes a re n 't l e g a l ten d e r) a re b u l l s h i t l i ke l y t o l a n d
t h e m be h i n d b a rs . L oo m pa n i cs h a s l i tt l e to offer t h e rea l l y r i c h

1 56
a n d t r u l y g reedy. T h ey h ave b l ue-ch i p lawyers a n d C PA's to d o
t h e i r d i rty wo r k . Loo m pa n i c s tries t o d e m oc ratize k n ow l e d g e ,
carry i n g self- h e l p l eg a l m a n u a l s by Berkeley's l i be ra l N o l o P ress
as wel l as all the a n t i -tax st uff.
So m e Loo m pa n i c s books stretch a l ittl e u s ef u l i nformati o n
o u t u n d u ly . T h e feas i b l e i d eas i n i t s h a rass m e n t books cou l d
p ro ba b l y a l i b e asse m b le d i n o n e o rd i na ry-si zed vol u me . Ho w to
Chea t on College Exams wo u l d be ove r p riced eve n if it we re n 't
padded (42 pages , $4.95) . W h i le wo rk i n g as a Teac h i n g
Ass i sta n t i n a col l e g e u n d e rg rad u ate c o u rse I l o a n ed i t t o t h e
p rofesso r, w h o h a s ta u g h t a t fou r o f t h e most p rest i g i o u s
u n i ve rs i t i e s i n t h e co u nt ry . Late r h e ret u rned i t to m e ,
u n i m p ressed , sayi n g t h e re was " n ot h i n g new" h e d i d n 't a l ready
rout i n e l y watch o u t for. (Wh i c h i s not to say, of c o u rse , t h at it
n ever wo rks . ) A n d o n e of t h e Dese rt P u b l i ca t i o n s h a rass m e n t
m a n u a l s ( n o l o n g e r carried ) , oste n s i b ly a u t h o red b y s o m e n ea r­
N azi b i ke r type, m a d e se nseless l y rec k less s u g g esti o n s ca rryi n g
a h i g h r i s k o f a p p re h e n s i o n , w h i le reass u r i n g t h e read e r t h at
so me of t h e fe l o n ies t h at wo u l d p u t h i m i n p ri s o n for a m i n i m u m
of seve ral yea rs were n ot eve n i l l ega l ! So, a s a lways , ca ve a t
emptor.
Oh yes , o n e m o re t h i n g . W h y " L o o m p a n i cs"? I had to ask to
find out. The f i rst book p u b l i s h e d ( b u t n o l o n g e r carried ) b y
w h a t t o o k t h e n a m e Loo m pa n ics w a s a n i ndex to t h e Na tional
Lampoon. L a m poon i cs/Loo m pa n i cs . I k now, it was
anti c l i mact i c fo r m e too.
So how d oes i t all cash o ut? N ot , s u re l y , in m a rt i a l-a rts
mayh e m . W i t h g u n owners h i p i n s i x f i g u res i n t h i s c o u n t ry i t ' s
si l l y to worry a b o u t Loo m pa n ics sel l i n g a boo k e x p l a i n i n g h o w
t o make a h ome-made z i p-g u n . Besides, a g ood l y proport i o n o f
h o m i c i d es a re , l i te ra l l y , t h e work of t h e p o l i c e ; they g et to read
the o r i g i n a l s , t h ey d o n 't need the Loo m pa n ics rep ri nts.
Loo m pa n i cs books are, l i ke pornography, not so m uc h an
i nc i te m e n t to sin as a s u bst i tute for i t . T h e i m po rta n t self­
d efe nse books a re t h e ones, not a b o u t t h rowi n g k n i ves o r raz o r­
fi g hti n g , b u t a b o u t how to avo i d s i t u a t i o n s w h e re t h e o n l y
o p t i o n s a r e res i stance o r s u rre n d e r .
I f Loo m pa n ics rea d e rs a re att u ned to its wave l e n g t h as I
rece i ve i t , t h ey p u rs u e l i be rty t h ro u g h p r i vacy, m o re by

1 57
avo i d a n ce t h a n a p p roac h . T h e b o o k Von u: The Search for
Personal Freedom may exp ress t h e c o re Loo m pa n i cs
aspi rat i o n . T h e a u t h o r, " Rayo , " d u ri n g t h e 1 960's e s p o u sed
rat i o n a l self-see k i n g b y the i n d i v i d u a l of as m u c h i nvi s i b i l ity to
a u t h o rity as h e can res h a pe h i s l i fe-sty l e to a rra n g e for.
U lt i matel y this m a n took h i s l o g i c , a n d h e was rigorously l o g i ca l ,
t o a p ract i c a l c o n c l u s i o n . H e van i s hed i n 1 97 4 . A s h i s e d i t o r
says, " h i s g oa l was a lways to beco m e i nv i s i b l e to c oe rc e rs
( m ea n i n g m a i n l y Gove r n m e n t ) . H e m i g h t have c o m e to bel i eve
t h at t h i s req u i red t h at he bec o m e i n v i s i b l e to eve ryo n e . " T h at's
wei rd a l l r i g h t , does a nybody have a l ess d rast i c worka b l e p l a n
h ow t o be f ree? I d o n 't , b u t t h e Loo m pa n i cs Cata l og h a s a few
i deas.

1 58
 ACKNOWLED GEMENTS

M ost of t h ese texts h ave a p pea re d i n s u c h p u b l icat i o n s as

A ppeal to Reason/Open City, Bea tniks from Space, Chicago
Reader, Ch urch o f the L a tter Day Punk, CoEvolution Q uarterly,
The Connection, Critique, Daily Barbarian, False Positive, Fifth
Esta te, Front L ine, L . A . Reader, Lig h t Times, L igh tworks,
L o ompanics Unlimite d Book Catalog, Maximum Rock 'n ' Roll,
Mind's Eye, Ne w Indica tor, No L imits, Popular Reality, Real Fun,
Re/Sea rch, Ripped & Torn, Semio text(e), The Spark, The S ta rk
Fist of Remo va l, S will, The Tho ugh t, To Apeiron, Trouble d
Times, Twisted Imbalance, Village Voice, a n d Weekly Cen tral
Scab .

T h e author may b e reac h e d at P O Box 4 3 1 , Bosto n , M A 02258 .

1 59
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