Good Wife Good Life?

Suranjana Barua and Tanmoy Bhattacharya

Department of Linguistics
University of Delhi
s12_barua@rediffmail.com tanmoy@linguistics.du.ac.in

1 ‘Good bank-clerk’ Vs ‘Good father’

Williams 1972

Titles and roles carry broad standards of assessment by people ≠> These roles are
self-chosen, but inflicted upon by the society (the sense of the political):

‘old patriarchy’ (older beliefs and practices regarding women) governed women’s
relationship and conduct by the late 19th century India (Walsh 2005)

The purpose of a woman’s life was defined as child bearing and she was constrained
by a dharma that required her compliance within whatever family (her own or her
husband’s) she found herself

Your goal: To make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where
your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (“Good Wife’s Guide”,
Housekeeping Monthly May 13, 1955 in Coleman, Ganon and Warzinik 2007)

2 The Good = The Moral: A Short History of Morality

Greek Ethics: ‘Why be moral?’

Plato (Republic): Good Life = harmony of the soul with reason, spirit, and appetite
(parts of the soul) morally good life is a happy life
Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics): The ultimate aim of all human action is happiness.
But distinctive function of human beings is to act with reason and
moral virtues are dispositions where actions are guided by reason.
Later Greeks: Happiness ↔ virtue (Epicureans and Stoics)
⇒ Good Life = in accordance with nature/ natural law
British Moralists (17th/ 18th C.):

Is morality grounded in self-love or benevolence?

Are moral judgements products of reason or sentiment?
Hobbes: Good for oneself; morality is meaningful only when backed by
political authority.
Responses: (a) universal benevolence (b) public good

Hume: Sympathy and sentiment rather than reason (significant break)
Utilitarianism: Bentham, Miller actions are right or wrong ∞ increase or decrease
of general happiness
Kantian Ethics: The good will but reason determines the form of moral duty.
Taylor: What it means to be good involves 'moral intuitions' articulated through a


'moral ontology' that make sense of our moral life which is three-dimensional:


The modern sense of respect for the individual


The realization of a full life worth living
The dignity of human life in all its ordinariness


We have a sense of who we are through our sense of where we stand to the good


our notions of the good


our understandings of the self


the kinds of narrative that make sense of our lives
conceptions of society
AICL30, Pune Good Wife Good Life? Barua & Bhattacharya



3 Stages of Morality



Unreflective responses to childhood feelings


peer and social pressure


Moral maturity, which crucially depends on:


critically sifting others’ evaluations
ranking of one’s own on the basis of principles that are not one’s own
creations
Summary of the three positions:
Piaget: Changes in reasoning skills ↔ qualitative or “type” change in thinking


Kohlberg:
Applied Piaget’s theory (preoperational-concrete-formal) to the development


of moral thinking
For him, women’s moral development is at the second (conventional) stage
whereas men proceed to develop post conventional maturity
Gilligan:

Critiqued moral framework of “justice” (especially from conventional to
postconventional in Kohlberg)

Develops the ethics of care instead

Different moral orientations between the sexes
"morality of care" as an
alternative to the traditional "morality of justice" approach
Later development: Both women and men use both care and justice dimensions in
moral reasoning

4 What the excerpts show


Our notions of the good:


qualified by sabse acchaa ye hE at the start (ln 1 #1)


hE hi apnaa acchaa hi at the end (ln 16 #1) M
apnii jo marjii se laa de (ln 9, #2) F


Our understandings of the self:


the contended self in sabse acchaa ye hE (ln 1 #1) M
hamare se jhagRaa hotaa hi nahi hE at the start (ln1 #2) F




Conceptions of Society:


Good food good mood good work production (lns 17, 18 #1) M
Non-violent existence with no confrontations (Extract #2) F


Through the narratives:


inversion structure with emphasis (ln 16 #1; ln1, 21 #2) M, F
comp for focus as a strategy (ln 9, #2) F
Bibliography
Barua, Suranjana. Revelation of Self in Language: A Conversation Analysis of Hindi Speaking
Couples. Ph.D. Thesis (in progress).
Bhattacharya Tanmoy and Barua, Suranjana. ‘Care/ Share: The politics of gendered ethics’.
(forthcoming in CIIL volume on Gender and Language ed. by Patnaik and Roy )
Coleman, M., Ganong, L.H., Warzinik, K. 2007. Family Life in 20th Century America. CT:
Greenwood Press.
Gilligan, Carol. 1982. In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women’s
Development. Harvard University Press, Massachusetts.
Taylor, Charles. 1989. Sources of the Self. Press Syndicate of the University of Cambridge,
Cambridge.
Walsh, Judith E. 2005. How to become the goddess of your home: An anthology of Bengali
domestic manuals. Delhi: Yoda Press.
Williams, Bernard. 1972. Morality: An Introduction to Ethics. Cambridge: CUP.

2
5 Talking goodness
Extract 1 (Good Life, Male)
[MK A20628]
((M and N are being asked whether they fight between themselves; they deny having
ever fought and M gives reasons as to how conflict situations are thwarted. M is then
asked what he likes in N))
1 M: =MATLAB sabse acca ye -He:: ki agar koi meri duty
means of all good this is that if someone my
2 sube ca:r sare ca:r baje ki lagade Na-, {SB: ha::}
morning four half-past four o’clock of give dm yes
3 ya: ra:t ke sa:re ba:ra: ek ki lagade {SB: ha:}
or night dat half-past twelve one dat give yes
→4 tab bhi mujhe khana milega SB: acc(h)a
then also I (dat) food get okay
M: ‘Means the nicest thing is that if someone gives me duty for 4 or 4.30 am or
twelve or 1 am, then also I will get my food ’; SB: ‘okay’.

5 M: (.) aur wo bhi ekdum first class bana: hua: > turant bana:
and that too full made past immediately made
6 Hua:<
perf
‘And that too first class, made there and then’

7 SB: ba::pre acc(h)a

my god okay
8 M: itna sabkuc (.) >to bohot acca: lagta he:< {SB: accha}
so much everything then very good feel pres okay
→9 ki -bhai a:dmi jab kaMa:ne ja: raha: -he:: {SB: ha::}
that DM man when earn inf go prog pres yes
10 aur usko ulta pulta kha:ne ko mile to
and he-dat topsy-turvy eat-inf dat get-inf than
11 man to we hi se hi ghar se hi kharab
mind dm there emph from emph home from emph bad
12 ho jata: [he:
happen go pres
‘So much so, then it really feels nice. That when the man is going out to earn and he
gets to eat junk, then the mind is bad right from home only’.

13 SB: [pareshani
trouble
‘(One gets) troubled’
→14 M: aur AGAR ghar se hi wo acca: kha:ke ja:: raha he::
and if home from emph he good eat-cpm go prog pres
15 aur acca dekh raha he: ghar ki SETTING .hh
and good see prog pres house gen
16 >a::ge to phir he: Hi< Apna (.)acca hi
future DM then pres emph self good emph

‘And, if from home only he goes out after eating well, and sees that his home’s setting
is good, then ahead it is only good’
AICL30, Pune Good Wife Good Life? Barua & Bhattacharya

→17 ki bhei a:dmi jab ghar se hi acche mood me niklega

???? man when home from-emph good in go -out
18 to ka::m bhi acca karega
then work also good do fut
‘That when the man goes from his home itself in a good mood, then he will also do
good work.’

Extract 2: (Good Life, Female)

[MK A20728]
(N picks up the fight topic and avoids the ‘goodness’ of her husband topic)
1 N: hama:re se hota hi nahi he jhagra
our by happen emph neg pres fight
‘Fights are just not possible by us’.
…
→5 N: nehi to hama:re se kuc hota hi nehi he bas::
no then our by something happen emph neg pres enough
6 lara::i jhagra to hamne sikha hi nahi he {SB: ha::}
fights fights dm we erg learn emph neg pres yes
7 na ma: ba:p ne sikhaya ki tum ja:ke lara:i jhagra karna
nor mother father erg teach that you go-pm fight fight do-inf
8 ya is chi:j ke liye lar-na: (.) >ye kuc nehi he:<
or this thing of for fight-inf this something neg pres
→9 apni jo marji se la:: de- >de denge<la- kha:ne ke
self that wish with bring give give give.FUT bring eat-inf of
10 liye wo kha len-ge itna: jaru:r sikhaya ma: ba:p
for that eat take Thismuch definitely teach mother father
11 ne hama:re me
erg our in
‘No, something like this does not happen with us. Fights are not possible by us. Nor
have (my) parents taught that you go fight. Or fight for this thing- nothing of this sort.
As per his wish, whatever he brings to eat, I eat. This much (my) parents have taught.’

17 N: (.) >kabhi bhi< (.)gyara: sa:l ho gaye,{SB: ha::}

ever emph eleven years happen past yes
18 a:j tak ma: ba:p ko ye nahi pata:, (.) ki
today till mother father dat this neg know that
19 kya hota he: waha pe {SB:acca:} kaise rehte he: ye
what happens pres there loc okay how stay pres they
‘Never. It has been eleven years, till today my parents do not know what happens
there – how they live’

20 N: sab yehi dekhte hai ki ha khus hai

all this-emph see-inf pres that yes happy are
21 ham HAI hi khus {SB: ha::}apne ghar reh rahe hai
we pres emph happy yes self home stay prog pres
22 ham sabse barhiya reh rahe he:
we most very good stay prog pres
‘All see this only that “Yes- they are happy”. We are happy. We stay at our own
home, we stay the best ’