Dr.

Laura Berman on Love and Sex

12 Ways to Boost Your Mood for Good Sex

By Laura Berman, PhD

Nurturing and
developing a truly
dynamic and
fulfilling sexual life
takes work,
patience, and
communication. In
addition to
exploring your
partner's desires,
you must also be
willing to explore
your own. Truly
understanding and
being in harmony
with your body is a
good place to start.
If you don't feel
sexy in your own
skin, you are
going to have a
hard time getting in the mood and enjoying yourself. Try out these mood-
boosting and body-pampering tips to get you on top of your game and in
the mood for great sex.

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 Rest Up
Without adequate sleep,
you’re more likely to feel
exhausted, stressed out,
and more easily agitated,
none of which help you
with getting aroused. By
getting six-to-eight hours
of uninterrupted sleep
per night, you’ll find that
you have more vitality,
energy, awareness, and
libido. So do yourself a
favor this weekend and
sleep in!

Splurge on
Something Slinky
Invest in something that
will bring out your inner
vixen. Pick out a form-
fitting pair of silky
pajamas or a luxuriously
silky soft robe that
cinches at the waist. Not
only will a sexy fabric go
leaps and bounds in
awakening your senses,
but it’ll give you all the
sex appeal of a
seductive 1940s pinup
girl in the comfort of your
own home. Your partner
will be sure to notice, too!

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 Get in Touch with
Your Sense of Touch
Pay extra attention to the
sensations you feel on a
daily basis: the
comforting warmth of a
cup of tea in your hands,
the way a hot shower
relaxes your muscles
after a long day, the cool
smoothness of the
sheets as you climb into
bed at night. By paying
special attention to and
deriving pleasure from
the mundane, you'll
become more in tune
with your senses, inside
and outside the bedroom.

Savor a Long Soak

What declares self-love
more than a long,
luxurious soak in the tub?
Hot water soothes your
tense muscles as
aromatic bath oils or
salts moisturize and
condition your skin. Add
bubbles to bring some
extra playfulness to your
self-pampering. Pour
yourself a glass of wine,
light some candles, turn
on some relaxing music,
sit back, and revel in the
sheer bliss of doing
absolutely nothing for a
while.

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 Give Yourself a Little
Love
Try this: Next time you
step out of the shower
and moisturize, don't just
slap it on. It's more than
that thing you do before
you put on your clothes.
Take your time with it.
Moisturize every part of
your body. Make it a
truly enjoyable
experience. As your
passes between your
shoulders and your neck,
why not pause to give
yourself a massage? Do
the same for your legs,
arms, hands, and feet.
After all, you deserve it!

Bring out the Nail

Polish

A new manicure or
pedicure goes a long
way in making you feel
sexier and more
sophisticated. With a
sexy shade of nail polish
matched by a sexy
shade of lipstick, it's hard
not to feel a little foxy as
you're prepping for a hot
night.

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 Check Yourself Out
Look at your body —
naked — in front of a
full-length mirror. Pay
special attention to your
lines and curves, your
muscular structure, and
the way different parts of
your body come together.
Admire your figure and
consider the
characteristics your
partner finds to be most
alluring and why. Talk to
your reflection. And
remember: You are sexy
and very attractive. Your
partner is lucky to have
you.

Say It Out Loud

"I'm sexy." Say it with
conviction. Or try, "I'm
beautiful," "I'm
tempting," "I'm
attractive," or "I'm
alluring.” How about "I'm
smoking hot" or "I love
my … because …"? It
may sound like a joke,
but the truth is simple:
The more you hear it,
the more you'll believe it.
When you look in a
mirror and literally tell
yourself that you're sexy,
it's only a matter of time
before you start to think,
"You know what? I am
sexy!" Beyond the fact
that you are, in fact,
unique and beautiful,
sexy is a mindset. Men
find self-confidence to be
absolutely mind blowing
when it comes to
attractiveness in the
opposite sex. So
embrace your body in its entirety. After all, you should feel how you look, and you look great!

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 Know What Makes You
Tick

How much time have

you spent exploring your
vulva and vagina? Do
you masturbate regularly?
If not, it's time to start.
Understanding what
makes you feel good is
key to great sex. Once
you know how to please
yourself, you can help
your partner understand
how to please you better.
It may seem silly to set
aside time to explore
your body, but it's
important. Find a quiet,
relaxing place where you
won't be interrupted and
use your fingers to
explore yourself, both
inside and out. Discover
which sensations make
you feel best. In the long
run, not only will this
make you a better lover,
but it will ensure that you
have more satisfying
sexual experiences in
the future. And in the
short run? The
exploration process
alone will amp up the
anticipation for what's to
come next!

Get Your Groove On

Pop in some tunes that
will help get you in the
mood, slip into your
sexiest lingerie, and
allow your body to bump
and grind to the beat of
the music. It doesn't
matter if you're a good
dancer or not! Just let
your thoughts slip away,
have a little fun, and take
some time to really
connect with the way
your body moves.

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 Write a List
When it comes to feeling
sexy, there's a huge
connection between your
body and your mind. As
a well-rounded person,
you are deeply attractive
to your partner. The way
you look is only one part
of that. Therefore, as
you are writing your list,
consider all of the things
that make you attractive.
Write down what parts of
your personality he loves,
what you say that makes
him laugh, and what you
do that drives him wild
with desire. Write about
why your body is sexy
and powerful, and
describe the sexy things
you like to do with your
body to drive that point
home. When you're finished, keep
your list. Anytime you're feeling self-
doubt, take it out and read it.

Center Yourself
Take 10 minutes to close your eyes,
fully relax your body, and completely
let go of any and all thoughts,
concerns, and anxieties that are on
your mind. Taking a little bit of time
every day to center yourself can be a
rejuvenating and healing process, but
truly learning to focus on the present
without allowing outside thoughts and
anxieties to intrude can actually
improve your quality of life, especially
where sex is involved. By completely
letting go of the real world for a short
while, you’ll be able to fully connect
with your partner in the bedroom, and
that kind of bonding makes for the
type of sex that is both satisfying and
memorable.
By taking the time to get your body
and your mind in the right place, not
only will you look your best, but you’ll
feel your best. Remember, sexiness
comes from within.

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